Finney Blake's irrational fear of raccoons

by ShinyBird

Summary:

I'm gonna fix the tags and find a title tomorrow dw

This is just a chatfic. The first chapter so far is Finney,Bruce and griffin in a gc though Finney does run into both Robin and Vance in the chapter it's mostly just the first 3

Also I might have accidentally projected autism onto all the characters so my bad I'm also a pretty dry texter but I tried my best.

Notes:

I swear I'll add tags and choose a title when I wake up next and maybe even try to insert photos

 

So I wrote most of this when I was camping last weekend and couldn't sleep so it may not be the best but I'm having fun and have some.more ideas so I'll probably post more

This paragraph below is literally just me being scared of a specific racoon but it's what gave me the idea to write this

Ok so the racoon story is kinda true that's why I thought to write when I couldn't sleep cause to get to the washrooms at the campground you had to go through this path with forest on both sides which makes sense but y'know it has lots of twists and turns so you can't see what's ahead and then the racoon looked at me then went back into the trees and it's constant chittering was getting quieter so I thought I was good to walk past then it came back and started walking towards me and I started backing up then suddenly the chittering was deafening loud and it was running at so I ran then it chased me and I got my dad to walk me down the path incase it was still there cause normally I'm the person chasing the racoons cause I normally love raccoons then y'know it's later in the night and my family and our friends are sitting around the fire and I hear rustling behind me and I'm thinking "omg please tell me someone from our friends site just came over and is behind me" and it was really loud and people were sitting infront of me on the otheraide of the fire I have no idea how they didn't notice it but It felt like everything was going in slowmo as I reached for my headlamp and guess what THE RACCOON WAS BACK

my storytelling skills suck but yeah it was terrifying and I'm the specific racoons number one hater proudly

Chapter 1

Finney Bruce griffen

 

F. GUYSSSS

B. What did you do now😞

F. Huh??

F. Why should I have done anything???

F. Do you have no faith in me??

G. Absolutely not

G. what did you do

F. NOTHING

F. IF ANYTHING IM THE VICTIM???

B. What happened??

F. Ok so I'm walking around the park right??

B. Yeah?

F. And then a raccoon appears in front of me right??

G. What's with the audience participation??

B. Shut up griffin

B. I wanna hear his story

F. Ty brucie-boo💖😍

B. Np pookie 😘

G. At least finish the story dumbass

F. Oh yeah forgot about that

F. Anyways a raccoon appears and spooks me cause it's dark out when I see it's a raccoon I'm like oh ok and continue on

F. And it's chittering really loudly while standing infront of me so I'm waiting for it to go away

G. Get to the poiny

F. but then I hear the chittering getting closer AND THE RACOON IS RUNNING TOAWRDS ME AND CHASED ME

F. So now I'm on top of the slides waiting for it to go away:((

G. DJYCKHCKWDYBCTHBFH

B. Finney please tell me your kidding

F. :(

B. Finney...

F I really wish I was

F. Hold on someone's coming

G. Dont die<33

....

 

F. it was Robin😍

G. He saw you hiding from a racoon

F. YES AND HE SCARD UT AWAY FOR ME!!

B. Your knight in shining armor🤩⚔️

F. I'd marry him on the spot I'm free now😍😍

B. Free as in to marry him or free from the racoon?

F. Both

G it's literally just a racoon?

G. You could've just kicked it??

F. But I didn't wanna hurt it ;(

B then how did Robin save you without hurting it ??

F. He scared it away for me💕

G. So he gave it emotional trauma??

F. Shut up

F anyways I'm walking home rn

G. Cool??

F. I just passed Bruce's house

B. And you didn't say hi?

B. I see how it is😓

G. Wow Finney real low😤

F. WAIT IM SRRY BEUCE I THOUGHT U WERENT HOME????

B. I'm not but you could've at least knocked💔

F. But I'm literally texting you?

F. KD JFjv HFHvGDhcJhjJHDG

B. FINNEY???

G. Nahh man's just died😲😲

B. FINNEY!?!

G Finney?

B. FINNEY SPEAK TO US

F. ITS BAACK

G. No way that actually worked😦

B. WHSTS BACK FONNEY??

F. THE RACOO. ITS BACK HE.P

B. I THOUFHT IT GOT SCAREF AWAY AT THE PARK??

F. IT DIF I WSTCHED IT RUN INTO THE FOREST!!!

G. Dude whats happened to your spelling

F. IM RUNNHG

B. stop this is so funny😭😭

G. God I love being friends with Finney

F. I'm hiding in the grab n go

F you were laughing at my suffering😓

B I'm sorry pooks😞😞

G I'm not this is hilarious 😂

...

B Finney??

B you still alive??

G. I bet the raccoon got him🙀🙀

B. Why the furry emoji??

G. The other ones ugly

G. 😱 I mean look at it

B. you actually have a point

B. Oh Shit wait

B. What happened to Finney

...

F. Hey guyysss

B. DINNEY YOUR ALIVE

griffin changed Finney's name to dinner

F. Guys your not going to believe this

G. Is it crazyier then that time you were held at gunpoint?

F IT IS!!

B. THEN SPILL THE TEA

G. ...

F. ... Bruce

B. SHUT UP SHUT UP

B. Just tell us your story Finn

F. Ok so yknow how I was hiding on the grabn go ??

B yeahhh

F. The racoon followed me into the grabngo

G. BHBSJANSBDDNAAHAAH

B. PLS WHY DOES IT HATE YOU SO MUCH😭🙏

F. it gets worse

B. WORSE??

G. HOW?!?

F. obviously I panicked cause it was chased me inside so I ran and his behind the nearest person and can you guess who it was😭😭

B. Robin??

G don't be ridiculous

G. He probably never wants to see Finney again after he was hiding from a a RACCOON

F. IT WAS VANCE😭😭😭😭

B. HUH???

G. WHAT

B. WHAT HAPPENED NEXT😧😧😧

F. So I ran behind him right??

F. And the raccoon is now in front Vance

G. It was still following you😭

F. Then Vance looked back at me then the racoon. And FUCKING SCRUFFED IT

G. 😨😨

G. Omg

B. What did he do with it

F. He just casually walked to the door and dropped it outside😭

B. HE ACTUALLY HELPED YOU!?!?

G. Dang I thought he was gonna throw it at you😕

B. Griffy...

F. Then he just came back like nothing happened 😭 😭 😭

F. And I was still standing infront of his pinball machine cause I was shook and he just looked at me and said I could leave now cause it won't come back and just pointed to the door💀💀

F. IT WAS SO EMBARASSING

B. ID ASSUME SO!?!

G. What is he the raccoon whisperer, how does he know it won't come back🙄

F. So I'm almost home now😝

G. Watch the racoon be in his room when he gets back

B. He pulls the covers back on his bed and the racoon is there

F. STOP THATS TERRIFYING

G. Then it scales that crusty ass bookshelf and runs along the ceiling

B. hides in the corner of his ceiling watching him sleep

F. GUYS WTF THATS LIKE A HORROR NOVEL?!???

B ITS A RACCON FINNEY😭🙏

F. AND ITS TRAUMATISING

G. again it's a raccoon 😭😭

F. Ivw never been so glad to be home now😍😍

F. C'mon you guys have to be scared of some animal😭

F. It's a normal thing to be scared of animals😭😭

B. Ok so I may be a tad scared of something

B. But you can't laugh it's actually terrifying 😭

F. Tell us!!

B. Ok it's...

G. HYRRY UP

B. Sorry griffy😞😔

B. There just really scary

F. Bruce.

B. OK OK ITS MEXICAN MOLE LIZARDS

G. Dude..

F. What even are those??

F. I've literally never even heard of them

B. Find a picture yourself there scary

G. So you would get scared if you were scrolling online and a photo popped up?

B. Yes..

B. Griffin what are you planning

G. -INSERT PHOTO OF MEXICAN MOLE LIZARD-

B. AAGG OHIT

B. DUDE WTF

F. YOU GOT SCARED OF A PHOTO BRUCE LMAO

F. AAAHHAHKTBTJDUBDKDD

F. SIGSOSVENRJVRCR

B. FINNEY?!

G. huh are you also scared of mmr

B. Wha-

G. Mexican mole rats no way I'm gonna type the out every single time

F. GUYS

F. HELP

F. PLEASEERHDBJF

B. OH SHIT I FORGOT

B. WHATS WRONF FINNEY

B. SPEAK TO US

G. what's up??

F TH RACOON

F. ITS BACK

G. OMG IS IT ON YOUR CEILING?!?

B. OMG GRIFFIN OR WE PYCHiCS🤩🪄🔮

F. NO ITS OUTSIDE MY WINDOW STARING AT ME😭😭😭

F. -insert photo of RACCON staring into the room from the window-

G. BAHAHA WHAT

B. OMG YOUR SO UNLUCKY FINN WTFQ

B. Can't you just close your curtains??

F. I HAVE BLINDS AND THERE BEOKEN THW DONT CLOSE ANYMORE😭😭

G. BAHAHAHBS DJDN

F. I'm just gonna tape a blanket to my window I'll de with it tomorrow im too tired for this😃

G. Fair enough

B. Maybe we can help you with your racoon problem tomorrow

F. Yes please!!

F right I'm gonna crash now night!!

B. Nighty night

G. Have a good sleep guys

Chapter 2

Summary:

Ahahahaha I realized I'm probably gonna have to try (and fail) to write an irl chapter so this is me putting that off cause my writing skills suck

This is so short it's only like 200 words😭

F. Guys is anyone awake??

B. Finney it's 2am we have school tommrow what could you possibly need

F. Ok so you know how I was running from the raccoon earlier todat/tonight

B. Yes??

F. Ok so because of all the running I got blister right??

B. And how does that correlate to you being up at 2am

G. Why the fuck are you two texting this late

G. I cannot believe you guys woke me up

F. Well I needed advice:((

B. Hurr up then you were talking about a blister??

F. So I got a blister and it was bugging me and I didn't know how to get rid of it so I cut it and now it's stinging ;(

G. Finney you dumbass

F. :(

B. Can't you just put a bandaid on it??

F. But then it still stings

G. Just drain it with a tissue or smt then use like a heat pack for the pain now go back to sleep

B. Wait but dont blisters get infected really easily??

F. So what do I do

F. I need clear instructions:(

B. Google says to clean it with soap and water then use a bandaid

G. Why didn't you just Google it yourself instead of waking us up finn??

B. That's a great question

F. I didn't think of that😅

G. I'm gonna kill you tommrow

F. *Tomorrow

B. Just go to sleep you two

G. Fine

Notes:

Im so uncreative I can't think of a name for the fic

Also if anyone has any ideas for a chapter that's just them texting please share anything I can think of would have to be actually writing so any chat ideas are appreciated

Chapter 3

Notes:

I'm pretty sure im only gonna write these if I'm camping or something

I went backcountry camping which was fun and where I wrote this one I actually have another chapter written already so I'll post that soonish

anyways these are kinda short and boring I think but oh well at least it's something and I needed a way for Billy to appear I prefer the next chapter tho it's still not great

Griffin added ***-***-****

F. Griffin what

Bi. Hello??

Bi. How did you get this number?

G. I found it on a sticky note outside ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Br. Dude what😭

F. Why would you add them

F. How do we know they aren't an old grandpa😰😱

Bi. I'm not a grandpa tf??

G. Hello!! ^•^

Bi hi??

F. don't trust griffin

F. He's the spawn of Satan

Gr. Well that's rude

Br. But true

Bi. Ok whos griffin

Br. Oh right sorry

Gr. I'm griffin

F. Finney Blake at your service😋

Br. And I'm Bruce!!

Bi. Like Bruce yamada??

Bi. As in the golden boy??

Bi. Eh whatever

F. Now who're you we still don't know whether your a grandpa or not

Bi. Billy showalter I deliver the newspapers!

Br. Nice to meet you!!

Bi. Likewise!

Gr. This is boring

Gr. Two truths and a lie go

F. I can braid hair, I've never been to a funeral, my favorite colors blue

Br. I own 3 houses, I have a sister, and I read the papers

Bi. ..What's happening?

Gr. Well you don't know much about us so this will help you ^-^

F. (He's never this nice to us)

Br. (Ikr what is this unfair treatment)

F. (It's kinda scaring me)

F. (What's he planning)

Gr. Y'know just because you use the brackets I can still see your texts?

Br. No you can't

F. What texts??

F. We weren't texting

B. Yeah idk what ur talking about

F. Maybe you should get your eyesight checked

Bi. Uh

Gr. Ignore them they don't know what they're saying

Gr. Let's play now

Gr. Bruce send yours again

Br. Yes sir

Br. I own 3 houses, I have a sister, and I read the papers

Gr. Now Billy guess

Bi. Um

Bi. Number 1?

Gr. Bruce?

Br. Nope number 3

Bi. Gasp

Bi. Im so offended

Bi. How dare you

F. (Griffin would've told us to shut up by now)

Gr. Finney!

F. Yes sorry griffin

Gr. Send yours now

Gr. I really shouldn't have to coach you idiots through a game of two truths and a lie

F. I can braid hair, I've never been to a funeral, my favorite colors blue

Bi. Number 1?

F. Nope I braid my sister's hair!!

Bi. Huh cool

Bi. Griffin what about you?

Gr. Huh

Bi. You haven't sent yours yet

Gr. Oh I'm not playing

Bi. How else will I get to know you

Gr. Ugh fine

Br. (He let him boss him around?!?)

F. ( He didn't even threaten him!?)

Gr. Ok here

Gr. I have a cat, I was born here in Colorado,and I love bugs

Bi. 3?

Gr. Nope 2☺️

F. (Has he ever used that emoji before!?)

Br. (I don't think so?!)

Bi. Oh? Where are you from then?

Gr. Canada🇨🇦🍁

Bi. Huh that's cool!

Chapter 4

Notes:

Woah ngl totally forgot this existed it's unlikely I'll ever post for a long time considering school starts in 5 days for me so I'd thought I'd get rid of this thing I had left

Br. UFDBJRDDXV NO FRICKING WAY

Gr. THAT WAS AMAZINGDFGVJ

Bi. Don't leave me out of the loop what happened?!?

Gr. I wanna explain shut up Bruce

Br. Shutting up🤐

Bi. Hurry up and spill or I'll dm Bruce

Gr. NONONOWAIT

Gr. Ok so me, Bruce, and Finney were at the mall

Bi. without me

Br. Well. We've never met irl ans we weren't planning on going

Bi. ... I suppose that's fair

Gr. Great now shut up 😁

Bi. Sorry

Br. Sorry

Gr. Anyways so we were walking and chatting when
Finney like the dumbass he is bumped into someone

Gr. And can you guess it was ??

Bi. No??

Br. Vance fucking hopper

Bi. of all people 😭

Gr. BRUCE

Br. Sorry carry on

Gr. That wasn't even the worst part

Gr. Vance was holding a bright pink smoothie when he bumped into Finney

Bi. Oh nooo

Bi. Poor finney

Gr. THEN Robin arrelano who he's apparently friends with?? Comes over and sees Finney on the floor with pink smoothie all over his shirt

Bi. Oof that's embarrassing

Br. Wait do you not know?

Bi. Know what?

Br. Finney has the biggest crush on Robin

Bi. Seriously Robin? Of all people?

Bi. I've seen him trip on a banana peel

Br. Bahaha what that's crazy

Bi. Laughing in lowercase is what's crazy

Gr. Idk either but he does

Gr. Back I to my story stopp interrupting

Gr. So Robin offered to help Finney wash up and they're In The bathroom now

Gr. So now we're just waiting for them to come out with vance

Br. It's terrible we're just standing here in silence😭

Gr. Wait omg Bruce

Br. What?

Gr. He doesn't know dinneys already met Vance and Robin?

Br. Omg ur right wait

Bi. HUH

Bi. I hate being new to the group😣

Br. Can I tell the story since u got to tell that one

Br. Pretty please🥺

Gr. Ew never do that again

Gr. But go ahead

Br. Yay!

Bi. Just hurry up and tell me

Br. Ok so we weren't with Finney but he was texting us

Br. Basically he was walking home and a raccoon was following him and he was scared and he saw Robin at the park and Robin helped scare away the raccoon but then it kept following Finney and then Finney ran into the grabngo and his behind Vance so Vance scruff2d the raccoon and threw it out the door

Bi. Woah that's a big text one sec I'll read it

Bi. Pls what😭😭

Bi. Is this kinda stuff just normal with dinney??😭

Gr. Very normal and it's so entertaining

Fi. RAHHHKDDJEBCDUSNEGTVSUB

Notes:

There's not enough chatfics in the the fandoms I swear I've read all of them comment one and I've read it try me I've read every. last. one.