Chapter 1: Wondering & Wishing
Chapter Text
“Sometimes, happy memories hurt the most.”
-Unknown
. . .
Pearl found herself crying, as she had been more often recently.
However, instead of tears of sorrow or loss, today her tears were of joy , for friends she thought she’d never see healed again were returning one by one, saved by the essence of the Diamonds themselves.
She allowed herself to be smothered in joy, ignoring the parts of her that ached with the pain of knowing that there were thousands that wouldn’t be returning, and among them two she wished more than all the others could be by her side.
Her mind began to wander, wondering what they would be doing if they were here.
Rose would be crying, embracing and hugging everyone as they came back, smothering Steven in love and apologizing to those she’d hurt (though that last part felt like wishful thinking.)
Emerald would be laughing, sitting on the edge of the pool, talking to Pearl about a book she’d read, or how amazing it was that these hurt gems could be healed and live their lives again.
Rose would be calmly explaining what happened to all of them, and comforting those who took the news harsher than others.
Emerald would be telling her that things were looking up, then giving her that wonderful smile she always had, and Pearl would be overflowing with joy all over again.
And Pearl would apologize to her, explaining that it was her own fault that their gems were cracked, which ultimately led to where she was in reality.
And Pearl would wrap her in a hug, never wanting to make her be alone ever again.
Pearl opened her eyes, ignoring the crushing weight in her chest when she was by herself, standing at the edge of the pool.
No Rose.
No Emerald.
She was still happy.
But now that happiness was tainted with loss.
Chapter 2: Whole
Summary:
Pearl and Garnet feel they have to try.
Chapter Text
“Pearl.”
Garnet's sturdy voice broke through her thoughts. When Pearl turned, her eyes widened ever so slightly at the pink bubble in her arms.
Garnet slid it into her own, and she held it close. “ …Will it work ?” She asked quietly, hoping the seer could tell her.
Garnet pursed her lips, her face unreadable and her voice steady. “We have to try.”
Pearl nodded.
She kneeled next to the pool, hesitating for just a moment before popping the bubble.
The shards in her hand felt light. Broken .
It made her chest ache.
She carefully arranged them, making sure that every piece fit together in the right spot. Looking at the gem was odd, as it looked so different from the glimpses in her memory. It was the same shape, but instead of a solid vibrant green all throughout, it had waves of orange and brown adorning it. Corruption .
She hoped that wouldn’t make this impossible.
She gently lowered her hand into the pool, for the first time in a while allowing herself to truly have hope .
She pulled the gem out, staring in disbelief as what she was greeted with was a smooth, whole surface.
She rubbed a thumb over it.
“ Hey .” She said to it, her voice cracking ever so slightly. “I’m here. Everything’s alright now. You can come back again… Please come back .”
She closed her hand over it.
“ I miss you .”
She opened it, the gem still sitting lifeless in her palm.
She internally scolded herself for thinking that this would work , for getting attached to the solution as she was.
Before she could re-form a bubble around it, Garnet placed a hand on her shoulder.
“She might need time to reform.” Pearl nodded, gently closing her hand again.
She could wait.
If Emerald could come back, she would.
…She hoped.
Chapter Text
Pearl sat on the beach, miniature waves crashing onto the sand in front of her.
She looked at the gem in her hand.
“ I’m sorry. ” She whispered again. She had most likely said it hundreds of times by now, but it didn’t feel like enough.
Steven came over, sitting down next to her. “Is she still in her gem?”
Pearl opened her hand to show him. He held up his own, and she gently placed the gem in his hands.
He looked down at it, speaking softly. “ I hope she comes back soon… ”
Pearl set her arm around him, and he leaned against her side. “Me too.”
“ I have to apologize to her. ” He said.
Pearl sighed sadly. “ Me too .”
Notes:
We’re getting to Emerald’s return soon, but I wanted to have this moment first
Chapter 4: A Lack Of Existence
Summary:
What does getting shattered feel like?
Chapter Text
“STEVEN!”
Steven was on one knee, clearly close to giving out as the beast hit his shield over and over.
She didn’t know what else to do.
She was still terrified.
She knew that in one way or another, she wouldn’t come back from this.
But she did it anyway.
She ran, the wind whipping her hair and time seeming to slow as she leaped and collided with the beast.
Suddenly her mind was shared with a frantic beast, her own thoughts becoming jumbled and lost with no sense of control.
The pain took over, and she didn’t know if it was herself or the beast that cried out in pain.
Then there was nothing. One moment was constant pain, the next complete silence and blackness.
She couldn’t move, talk, see, hear, or even think .
It was like that for a while.
A lack of existence, yet separated and fragmented.
Then… whole.
Chapter Text
Senses came flooding back all at once.
Suddenly she could hear the beach in the distance, feel thin arms holding her, and smell strawberries and distant salty air.
When her eyes fluttered open, a bright light coming through the windows stung her eyes, the light framing a pale gem with a smile on her face, a few tears trailing down her cheeks.
Emerald blinked a few times to be sure, squinting and blinking back tears. Her voice came out quiet, filled with disbelief. “ Pearl? ”
Then Pearl threw her arms around her.
“ Pearl .” Tears stung her eyes. She wrapped her own arms around the pale gem, clinging tight. “ You’re alright .”
“ So is Steven .” Pearl whispered back. “… And so are you . ”
Emerald shakily exhaled, The words echoed in her mind.
She may have been somehow brought back, but she didn’t think she could live with herself if she had shattered Pearl or let Steven die.
She gently pulled away from the hug, wiping a palm over her eye to wipe away the tears that had begun to fall.
When she moved her hand away, she froze.
Running along her arm, there were splotches of burnt orange and beige adorning her green skin.
She could only stare at them.
“Are you alright?” Pearl asked.
Emerald took a shaky breath, not offering a response. Her hands shook a little. Her voice was quiet.
“ Can I… look at myself ?”
Notes:
Sorry this one was so short! I wanted to cut it off and the next one will be longer.
Chapter 6: Welcome Back
Summary:
Emerald gets a chance to see how she looks.
The others arrive.
Chapter Text
Emerald touched a hand to her cheek.
She looked…
wrong .
Her skin was the green it had always been, but layered with waves of various shades of orange and beige, the same color as the corrupted gem.
The whites of her eyes were pitch black, the centers their normal green.
Turning and moving her hair out of the way, she saw her gem had waves of orange and brown to match her skin. Corruption .
She thought that she was finally feeling a sense of normalcy with the way she looked.
Now even that had been ripped away.
She looked like a strange amalgamation of colors, feeling like just another monstrosity.
Even more of an off-color than she already was.
. . .
She came out of the bathroom slowly, for once understanding why Peridot felt so safe in there.
The others were there.
Steven was on the couch with Pearl, and Amethyst and Garnet were standing.
She crossed her arms and glanced away, feeling self-conscious.
Without warning Steven jumped off the couch, running over and hugging her around the waist. “ I’m sorry… ” he mumbled.
Garnet walked over, standing in front of her.
Emerald felt small under her gaze.
She wasn’t expecting the fusion to reach her arm up and dissipate the visor, and Emerald could see the genuine care in her eyes as Garnet wrapped her in a hug as well.
Amethyst smiled at her from where she leaned on the armrest of the couch. “Welcome back, E.”
Chapter 7: Questions
Summary:
Emerald finally has the courage to ask.
Chapter Text
“I have… so many questions.” Emerald said. She sat on the couch by the stairs, and she finally had the courage to start piecing together what she’d missed.
“Ask away.” Amethyst said.
She looked around. “ What happened to the house?”
“It was destroyed.” Garnet said simply.
“Bismuth rebuilt it!” Steven added.
“Bismuth!?” Emerald exclaimed. “But didn’t she try to-“
“Kill me?” Steven asked. Emerald nodded.
“She changed.” Pearl said with a smile.
Emerald looked over at her, for the first time noticing that her outfit had changed.
Looking around, they all had changed.
“When did all of you reform?”
“That one is… a bit more complicated.” Pearl said, crossing her arms.
The room went silent for a moment, before Emerald finally felt brave enough to ask.
“I was…” Emerald suddenly took on a more reserved demeanor, her hands clenching into slightly shaking fists. “… Shattered … wasn’t I.”
Garnet nodded solemnly.
“I can’t… explain it, but I just… knew.” She crossed her arms, closing her eyes. “How am I not still shattered? Gems… we don’t come back from shattering.”
Everyone seemed to hesitate, and Steven was the one to finally break the silence.
“The Diamonds.” He said simply.
Emerald brought her knees up to her chest. “I don’t understand… How long have I been gone?” She asked softly.
“Almost six months.” Garnet said. She walked over, sitting down to Emerald’s left. “Here... Let’s go back to what happened after we lost you.”
She nodded, but Emerald thought for a moment about Garnet’s choice of words.
Lost .
Like they cared that she was gone.
She thought that no matter what happened to her, they would be better off.
She felt selfish for now believing that she mattered enough for them to call her lost .
Like the missing piece of a puzzle.
Something that mattered in the bigger picture.
. . .
Emerald and listened, processing each bit of new information.
Until Steven mentioned off-colors. Emerald looked up swiftly. “ What ?”
“Yeah.” Steven said. He started counting off his fingers. “There’s Rhodonite, Fluorite, the Rutile twins-“
Without warning, Emerald gently grabbed him by the shoulders. “Was a small orange gem with them!?”
“Padparadscha?” She nodded, and he nodded in turn.
Emerald let go of him. Then tears began to fall.
“Are you okay?” Pearl asked.
Emerald turned toward her, and she could see her smiling .
The gem wiped a palm over her eye, sniffing. “ I thought… I told her to hide while I drew it away .”
Before anyone could ask her what she meant, she looked over to Steven again. “Where are they now?”
“I don’t know, but they’re on the way here with Lars on a stolen ship.” He said.
Emerald wiped her eyes again, her smile bright. “ I can wait .”
Chapter 8: Choices
Summary:
Pearl makes a bad choice.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
After more hugs, Garnet, Amethyst, and Steven said they had to go.
“Why?”
Garnet smiled. “You’re not the only gem who’s returned.”
Before Emerald could ask what she meant, they left.
“Why aren’t you going?” She asked Pearl, who was sitting next to her on the couch.
The pale gem smiled. “There’s no reason for you to have to stay here on your own. The others can answer questions from the gems.”
“The gems?”
“Oh!” Pearl exclaimed. “You see, just like you, all of the corrupted gems have returned.”
Emerald thought for a moment. Then a realization suddenly hit.
. . .
Emerald looked her in the eyes, a small amount of fear and sadness within. “Pearl… if all of the corrupted gems are back.. Is Jasper back too?”
Pearl knew the truth.
But she just couldn’t tell it.
“ …No .”
The word slipped out, the lie coming to her so easily .
Emerald sighed, giving a small smile. “Good riddance.”
She gave Pearl a small hug.
Immediately Pearl felt like she’d been stabbed in the chest.
This was the worst possible thing to lie about.
But she couldn’t take it back now.
Emerald looked so…
Relieved.
Safe.
She couldn’t bring herself to ruin that.
And besides, maybe…
Maybe a lie would allow Emerald to heal.
Notes:
What could possibly go wrong?
Chapter Text
“Do you think… I could meet them?” Emerald questioned.
“The old crystal gems?” Pearl asked. Emerald nodded.
Pearl smiled. “Of course! I’m sure you’ll get along with a lot of them.”
Pearl offered a hand, and Emerald took it.
As she stepped outside the door, Emerald was assaulted with a bright light, whitish-violet.
She winced away, having to shield her eyes.
“Are you alright?” It seemed like Pearl was there in a second, making sure she was okay.
“It’s really bright.” She mumbled.
She rapidly blinked, and it began to die down, but a good portion of the sky around the sun was bright enough that she couldn’t look at it.
She squinted a bit. “I think I’m okay…”
“Are you sure?” Pearl's eyes were filled with concern.
“Yeah...”
. . .
Emerald looked out across the field from the top of the hill where she and Pearl were standing.
There were so many gems, in various groups talking and laughing.
She stuck close to Pearl as they headed down into the field.
Emerald spotted one gem in particular that made her pause.
She let go of Pearl’s hand, who looked to her. “I just… need a moment.” She said.
. . .
The nearly-fully restored Crystal Gems were learning new things all the time.
Their leader was a diamond in disguise.
They had been corrupted ever since the light had struck the planet.
The war was over.
The Diamonds were changing for the better.
It was a lot to take in.
Jasper XB2-CY7 (or Biggs, as she preferred) noticed things too. Such as the way the old gems she knew carried themselves now.
The way Bismuth greeted everyone she knew and gave a firm handshake to those she didn’t. The never ending happiness and tackle into the pool when she saw Biggs herself.
The way Garnet seemed so connected and yet disconnected from the world, every thread of the future watched.
The way Pearl made it clear she wasn’t to be bossed around, but had a twitchy edge where once there was only strength.
And the newbies of course.
The way the little Amethyst held herself tall, as if to say ‘I’m just as good as everyone else.’ It reminded her of Jasper XB6-CY2, an off-color from her own kindergarten that was long shattered.
The way the little boy (Steven, they called him. He was not Rose, but that was okay.) seemed to hold the weight of the world on his shoulders.
One day a gem she had never seen before approached her. Biggs couldn’t tell what gem she was, but she had corruption scars too.
“I’m sorry.” The gem said. There was genuine guilt in her eyes.
Bigg’s softened. “For what?”
“ Oh stars… you don’t remember… ” the gem whispered under her breath, running a hand through her hair and looking at the ground.
She nervously fidgeted as she continued. “When you were… corrupted , I… I forcibly fused with you to keep you from attacking Steven, and… I nearly shattered you .” She lowered her voice during the last part, nervously crossing her arms. “ I’m sorry .”
That’s how she got corrupted . Biggs realized, taking in how the oranges and browns splattered on the gem’s form matched in color to her own.
She set a hand on the gem’s shoulder, who tensed. “Uh- I don’t-” The green gem stammered awkwardly.
Biggs realized she was uncomfortable and took her hand off, nodding.
“Of course. Sorry about that.”
Instead Biggs looked her in the eye. She spoke firmly. “What I’m trying to convey is, If you kept me from hurting someone, then you have nothing to be sorry for.”
She set a relaxed hand on her hip. “Let’s have a fresh start. Call me Biggs.”
The gem seemed unsure, but offered a small smile. “…Emerald.”
Notes:
This was a long one, huh?
Chapter 10: Reunited
Summary:
I’ve been withholding it for a while now, but finally it’s here:
Off-colors reunion :3
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“The…sun…feels…nice.” Fluorite said.
“Is it always this bright?” One of the Rutiles asked.
“Not always.” Lars answered. He smiled, looking up at the sky. “Feels good to be home.”
They had finally made it to Earth, and the off-colors were learning the joys the planet had to offer.
Rhodonite looked around the crowd of gems, casually observing them.
There weren’t many off-colors, though she did spy a few. A lot of gems had multi-colored scars though.
Her eyes suddenly locked onto one of them, an almost familiar shade of green covered by an unfamiliar orange.
But it couldn’t be.
She was gone .
But then the gem half-turned to talk to someone, and Rhodonite could see one side of her face.
Despite the dark eye, she’d know that face anywhere.
Suddenly without thinking she was running, someone calling her name behind her, but she couldn’t bother as she ran to the gem, lifting her off the ground in a hug, unable to say anything as she clutched her tight.
The gem seemed momentarily surprised, until she lit up with recognition. “ Rhodonite ?”
The fusion turned over her shoulder to call the others, but before she could say anything, Padparadscha shouted. “ EMERALD !”
The rest of the off-colors ran over, knocking Emerald over as they wrapped her in a big group hug.
. . .
Emerald looked up from the pile, tears springing in her eyes.
She felt choked up as everyone closed in for a hug, and she was surrounded by the gems she thought she would never see again.
As everyone let go, a small orange gem slowly approached her.
“ Emerald..? ”
“ Padparadscha .”
Emerald wrapped her arms around the orange gem. “ I’m so sorry I didn’t come back .”
“We thought you were shattered!” One of the rutiles said.
Emerald paused.
Story for another time.
Emerald wiped away tears, taking in Fluorite’s size. “You got… bigger .”
“Up… to… six… now.” The gem replied. “You…look…different.”
She ran a hand through her hair self-consciously. “I know…”
“It looks great!” One of the Rutiles said reassuringly. She offered a half-baked smile.
“So you’re the emerald they mentioned.” Lars said. He was… pink now. “I told them I’d met one, but they didn’t believe me.”
“We… didn’t… want… to… give… ourselves… false… hope.” Fluorite said.
“So… you died too?” Emerald asked. Lars looked surprised. “Steven told me.”
“Yep.” Lars said with a shrug. “Uh… you also got brought back to life?”
Emerald nodded, crossing her arms self-consciously. The off-colors whipped around to look at her.
“…Story for another time.” She said simply.
“At least you’re here now.” Rhodonite said.
Lars gave Emerald a small smile. “Well then, I guess we’re in the same boat. You know… If you ever wanna… talk about it, we can start, like, a… support group, for people who died and got revived.”
“… Sure .” Emerald said with a small smile.
. . .
Pearl watched with a surprised smile as the off-colors reunited.
She hadn’t even known that they knew each other until today.
She felt reminded that even though she knew so much about Emerald as she was now, simultaneously she knew almost nothing about her past.
The heartfelt moment was soured, however, when her eyes drifted up and locked onto an orange gem who was staring at Emerald from not far away.
Jasper.
Amethyst had told her that Jasper had returned, though none of them wasn’t going to let her hurt anyone again, especially Emerald.
The gem had gone through enough at the hands of Jasper.
Emerald hadn’t seen her yet.
Pearl strode up to Jasper, stepping in front of the gem’s view of Emerald. “ Is something wrong ?” She asked coldly.
Jasper looked at her with disdain. “ No .” The orange gem said roughly.
Jasper turned to walk away.
“Stay away from her.” Pearl said firmly to her back, her fists clenching. “Or be unwelcome here.”
“ Whatever .” Came the gruff response.
Notes:
Was it to y’all’s satisfaction?
Chapter Text
Pearl and Emerald were sitting on one of the hills, overlooking the field of conversing gems as the sun set behind them.
Emerald twirled a long blade of grass around her finger, speaking absentmindedly. “…I can’t believe how much everything’s changed.”
“Me neither.” Pearl said. “And everything’s still changing. But, so much of it is good.”
She looked over at the multicolored gem. Emerald was looking up now, her eyes darting between the various gems below them. She seemed unsure of everything she was seeing.
“…Like you.” She added.
Emerald looked over at her, their eyes meeting.
Her eyes were different in the most fascinating way possible. Instead of white like most gems, the majority of her eyes were pitch black, so dark it seemed that light would get lost inside. The centers were bright green, almost seeming to glow in the low light. They were like nothing she’d ever seen.
Pearl snapped out of her daze when Emerald glanced away, the small smile she was carrying faltering. She looked so tired.
She thought of everything Emerald had gone through in a short time, from their gems cracking to being shattered and coming back corrupted.
She knew she couldn’t hope to understand what Emerald was going through, what feelings she was having about all of this.
But she wanted to try.
They sat for a few moments before Emerald shook her head absentmindedly, digging a hand into her hair. Her voice cracked slightly. “…It doesn’t feel like six months.”
“ What do you mean?” Pearl asked softly.
“When I was…” Emerald paused, shaking her head and taking a breath before continuing.
“…I didn’t feel anything… yet I knew I was broken. It feels as though I only saw you all a day ago, but at the same time it feels like it’s been thousands of years of nothing.”
She shakily took a deep breath, wrapping both arms around her knees and blinking back tears.
“I’m sorry.” Pearl murmured.
Emerald shakily sighed, closing her eyes and looking as though she was going to crumble apart. “…It’s my own fault.”
“Of course it isn’t!” Pearl protested suddenly.
Emerald seemed to snap back to reality. She looked over to her, tears in her eyes.
Pearl continued. “I offered to dance. I wasn’t paying attention. Don’t blame yourself for what happened.”
Pearl reached her hand to touch Emerald's cheek, but decided better of it and set her arm back down. Her voice was sad. “…It wasn’t your fault.”
Emerald took a shaky breath. Pearl raised her arm in invitation, and Emerald shuffled closer so she could wrap it around her. She fully leaned against Pearl’s side in turn, closing her eyes.
“Okay.” Emerald's voice was quiet, and her voice cracked as she repeated herself.
“…Okay.”
Notes:
I hate working at a VBS, I have Jesus-themed pop songs stuck in my head all the time💀
Chapter 12: Sticking Together
Summary:
Emerald reads on a hill until Padparadacha then Biggs join her.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
In the days that followed her return, Emerald often tried to find a sense of familiarity where everything had changed.
She went with the others to see the uncorrupted gems daily, but she would often sit up on a hill by herself with a good book for most of the time.
Sometimes the other off-colors would check in on her, but she would be distant. It was one such time Padparadacha came up the hill.
“What are you doing?” The small gem asked.
“Reading.” She responded, not looking up.
She waited, but even after she could tell Padparadacha heard her there was a pause before she spoke. “…Can I read with you?”
“Sure.” Emerald was surprised when Padparadacha walked over and picked up her book, then sat in her lap.
It didn’t trigger anything from the past, just confusing her for a moment. “ What..? ” She asked.
Padparadacha looked up at her with a wide smile. “I saw Steven sit on Garnet’s lap, and I wanted to try.”
The response paired with the action was so random that Emerald couldn’t help but chuckle. She sighed. “...Alright. But just for a little while. Can I have my book back?”
“okay!” The orange gem held up her book. “Will you read to me?”
Emerald sighed again, but she was smiling. “...Alright.”
. . .
The two sat and read for a while before they had another visitor. Biggs came lumbering up to join them, setting herself down on the grass.
“Hey there.” the large gem said.
Emerald half-smiled. “Hello-“
“ HI !” Padparadacha exclaimed, cutting her off.
Biggs chuckled, then let out a big sigh. “How’re you holding up?”
“Me?” Emerald asked. The gem nodded. She took a moment to think it over.
“…Well enough .”
Biggs nodded. “Just wanted to check in, you’re always up here on your own.”
Emerald paused. “I don’t really… know what to do. And I’m not great at… socializing...” she trailed off, frowning. Biggs opened her mouth to say something else when Padparadacha spoke.
“ Great !” Despite not seeing her eyes underneath her bangs, Emerald could tell Biggs was slightly disturbed by the orange gem’s response.
“She’s a little… behind , time wise.” She said by way of explanation.
Biggs clicked her tongue. “Ah.”
The large Quartz shifted the way she was sitting, crossing her legs and resting her elbows on them. “But anyway, I know exactly how you’re feeling. I’ve been gone for five thousand years . A lot can change in that time.”
“Even in just a few months everything has changed.” Emerald added absentmindedly.
They fell into a semi-comfortable silence for a while. Emerald tried to not reflect on her past troubles, instead focusing on physical things, such as the slight breeze blowing her hair, the feel of the grass under one hand, and the slight rise and fall of her chest as she mimicked human breathing.
Eventually Biggs was the one to break the quiet, with a single phrase said somewhat awkwardly.
“...You ah… went through some stuff before getting corrupted… didn’t you.”
Emerald glanced uncomfortably between Biggs and Padparadacha for a few moments, before taking a long, deep breath.
“…Padparadscha, can you go back to the others?” She asked simply. After waiting a few moments, she got her response.
“Okay!” The orange gem said, getting up and running down the hill back toward the others.
Emerald sat with her knees tucked into her chest, setting her book on the ground next to her.
If anyone would understand what she was going through, it was Biggs, even if she didn’t remember it.
“…yeah. I did.”
. . .
“… that gem is scum of the universe.” Biggs spat.
“ Was. She’s… gone now.” Emerald said simply.
Biggs pursed her lips for a moment. When she spoke again, her voice had a sharp edge to it. “ But the memories aren’t. ”
Emerald crossed her arms, looking away. “... No. ”
“I’m so sorry I made ‘ya uncomfortable before.” Biggs said, twiddling her thumbs.
“… You didn’t know .” Emerald said quietly.
“Now I do.” She crossed her arms, speaking firmly. “And nobody else will bug you ever again. Not on my watch.”
Emerald glanced away. “… You don’t have to do that .”
“I know.” Biggs offered a smile. “But we crystal gems gotta stick together.”
After a pause Emerald smiled back, though it didn’t quite reach her tired eyes. “We do, don’t we.”
Notes:
I’m freeeeeeeeeee!!!! (From counciloring at the VBS I mean)
Chapter 13: The Illusion of Truth
Summary:
The main Crystal Gems find out about Pearl’s lies.
Emerald does not.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Are you doing okay?” Amethyst asked Emerald one day.
Everyone was home, and Steven and Pearl were sitting on the couch with Emerald while Amethyst sat on the floor and Garnet stood.
Emerald paused, thinking it over before responding. “I’ll be okay, I think. Or at least, I hope so.” She smiled tiredly, taking a deep breath. “I’m working on it.”
“And we’ll be here.” Garnet said surely.
“Yeah.” Steven affirmed.
“I know.” Emerald tilted her head back against the couch, closing her eyes with a small smile. “…And with Jasper gone, maybe everything is looking up.”
. . .
The reactions were immediate. Steven and Amethyst tensed, and Garnet frowned, pursing her lips.
Pearl cringed under the sudden looks they gave her.
Amethyst opened her mouth to say something -looking rather irritated-, but Pearl quickly stood up, gesturing with her head to the door.
Amethyst grumbled something as Garnet spoke. “Emerald, do you mind if the rest of us go outside for a moment?”
Emerald opened her eyes, looking at them in slight confusion. “Alright. Is something wrong?”
“No! Nothing’s wrong!” Pearl lied quickly, earning another sharp look from amethyst.
“…Okay.” Emerald picked up a book off the table, opening it up as the four beings left through the door.
. . .
They went outside, walking up to the warp-pad dome. As soon as the door shut, Amethyst snapped.
“ Pearl! What the hell did you tell her!?”
“Language.” Garnet said, her voice firm. Amethyst grumbled something.
Pearl worried her hands nervously, unable to meet any of their eyes. “I… I told her Jasper was still bubbled.”
Steven gasped. Amethyst looked furious. Garnet’s face was blank, but Pearl knew that her emotions must be heightened just like the rest of them.
“But why?” Steven asked with sad eyes. Pearl looked away.
“I…” she trailed off, unable to explain.
“There’s no future where this ends well.” Garnet said surely. “You need to tell her.”
“B- But I-” Pearl stammered.
“What happens if she sees her, Pearl!?” Amethyst interrupted, rage lacing her voice.
“Sh- She won’t .” Pearl tried to say surely, though her voice shook slightly. “I-I told Jasper to stay far away from her.”
Garnet pursed her lips, before walking forward. Pearl felt small under her gaze, and Garnet set a sturdy hand on her shoulder.
“Pearl. You have to understand that the longer you take to tell her the truth -or when she finds out on her own-, the worse it will hurt her.”
Pearl hunched her shoulders, feeling guilt wash over her and tears prick her eyes. “… I know . I don’t know why I did it, okay? It just kind of… happened.”
Garnet squeezed her shoulder, saying nothing. Pearl took a deep breath. “I understand. I- I’ll tell her. I just… need the right moment.”
The three seemed unsure, but Garnet nodded. Amethyst scowled. Steven just looked sad.
Pearl felt a tightness in her chest, knowing that no matter what she said to Emerald, nothing happy was going to come out of this.
Garnet left, the other two following her. Pearl stayed behind, trying to figure out how on earth she was going to be able to tell the truth; how she was going to hurt Emerald like that.
How she was going to shatter the one illusion she hadn’t meant to make.
Notes:
Sorry that this chapter was a bit short!
Life update For those of you who are wondering:
I had an AMAZING time at the Family Reunion (I got to meet my gay uncle’s husband!! (I LOVE HIM!!!)) and right now, I have some relatives visiting us who live in Norway!
Hopefully my time will be opening up more in the coming weeks once they leave, allowing me to get more chapters out faster!
Thanks to those who have stuck to this story this far in, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!!!
-Shifty ❤️
Chapter 14: A Day For The Books
Summary:
Pearl takes Emerald to the library, and they have a personal talk on the way there.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Have you seen Romeo and Juliet ? I can’t find it.” Emerald asked, combing over the bookshelves in the house.
“What do you need it for?” Steven asked, looking up from where he was texting Connie. “It’s so… sad .”
“To read while we’re out, and it can’t be that bad.” Emerald said lightly.
“It really can.” Pearl commented. “ But , I have another idea for today.” Emerald looked over, and Pearl smiled. “I was thinking we could go to the library.”
It took Emerald a moment to remember the library. The towering shelves, countless small worlds open for exploration through crisp pages. She smiled brightly at the memory of spending hours surrounded by stories.
“ Booooring .” Amethyst groaned.
Pearl crossed her arms casually. “Well, no Amethyst then. Steven?”
Steven looked up from his phone. “Can’t, I wanted to ask Snowflake Obsidian and Crazy Lace Agate some questions.” He said.
“Garnet?” Emerald asked, looking to the fusion.
Garnet smiled hesitantly. She seemed distant, and Emerald wondered if she was looking into the future. “You two go.”
“Alright!” Pearl said excitedly, uncrossing her arms with a smile. “Just us then?”
“Let’s go!” Emerald said with a smile.
. . .
Soon the two gems were in Greg’s Dondai, the streets crawling by as they crossed Beach City.
Emerald looked out the window, leaning on her elbow on the armrest, lost in complicated thoughts. The start of the car ride had been more exciting, but after a while, she had felt more and more lost on what to say, how to ask what she wanted to.
“What’s on your mind?” Pearl asked, noticing her solemness.
Emerald sighed. “…I just… wish I had known before that you were forced to stay quiet, I wouldn't have asked so many questions about the rebellion.”
They fell into silence for a moment, and Emerald figured Pearl was trying to figure out a response. Eventually she seemed to find one.
“…You couldn’t have known. Not even Garnet knew. And don’t worry, you weren’t asking too many questions. I wanted to tell all of you, especially Steven, but I just… had to find the right way.”
“I’m glad you did. But…” Emerald trailed off, and Pearl waited. “…You keep asking me if I'm doing okay. But what about you ?” She turned, taking her arm off the arm rest.
Pearl sighed, biting her lip. “…I don’t know.”
Emerald started to reach for her hand, before she remembered Pearl had to focus on driving and she pulled it back. “I’m… learning that talking helps.” She said slowly.
Pearl looked unsure, but she took a deep breath. “…I’ll try.”
Emerald waited for her to find the words, giving her full attention when she did.
“…I feel like I’m supposed to hate her for what she did to me.” Pearl gripped the steering wheel tighter. “…But I don’t know how to hate her.”
She paused, her expression turning solemn. “… I loved her. ” She sighed, her hands relaxing. “ I still do, in some ways. ”
“…but she didn’t love you.” Emerald said hesitantly.
“No, I think she did. Just… not in the same way.” Pearl said, her eyes both focusing on the road and completely distant.
Her loss.
Pearl snapped out of it with a small laugh, and Emerald realized she said that out loud. She flushed. “Uh- you’re a great friend, I mean. She missed out on someone great.”
“Thanks.” Pearl said simply, giving her a small smile. Her cheeks were flushed too, the two gems rather embarrassed. “But, let’s save the heavy conversations for later. Today is about us going to the library to enjoy ourselves.”
“Alright!”
. . .
They pulled into the place humans parked vehicles, and by the time they exited the car Emerald had seemingly regained her previous excitement.
“Come on, there’s a book I want to show you!” She said, offering a hand. Pearl took it, and was nearly pulled over by the gem leading her along.
They went through the orderly shelves of stories, before turning and stopping.
Emerald looked at the bookshelf before them with narrowed eyes, reading the spines.
“Found it!”
She pulled a royal blue book off the shelf. She opened it up, handing it to Pearl to show her the illustration.
She took it in for a moment. “How did you find this?” She asked, gently touching her hand to the faded image, clearly based off the gem war.
“I think it’s a human version.” She said, pointing out the page of text next to the image.
Pearl took a moment to read it. After she did, she wrinkled her nose. “These humans have a rather… inaccurate account. If you want, sometime I can tell you about some of the real battles from the war.”
Emerald gasped, and when Pearl looked up at her the gem’s eyes were stars. “Would you?”
Pearl couldn’t help but smile in return. “Of course.”
Emerald set the book back on the shelf, before grabbing the one next to it, opening it and skimming vigorously.
“ Emerald… ” Pearl started nervously, biting her lip.
“Yes?” The gem looked up, their eyes meeting. Emerald looked so… calm .
Happy .
“…nothing. Never mind.”
“Alright.” Emerald turned back to the book with a smile, but Pearl felt sick with herself.
She told herself now wasn’t the right moment.
She told herself she would tell her when it was.
She tried not to think about how every day was a ticking clock with an unknown end, one with disastrous consequences that were slowly catching up with her.
But she was stuck, hopelessly trying to outrun the inevitable.
Notes:
Is this too many emotional conversation chapters in a row?
This is one of my longest chapters and I’m so proud of that :3
Chapter 15: Dancing Lights
Summary:
Pearl takes Emerald to see an astrological event.
Chapter Text
“You don’t have to cover your eyes, you know.” Pearl said with a smile.
The two gems had their arms hooked together as they walked up the hill, and Emerald was covering her eyes with her other hand.
Pearl had told her about an astrological event that was set to happen for the next few nights, and so the two had decided to go look at it together, on the larger hill by themselves.
Emerald smiled. “I know, but I want it to be a surprise! And besides, I trust you.”
Pearl’s chest tightened, but she brushed it off. She knew she had to tell her, but the moment didn’t feel right. Emerald was enjoying herself. Why ruin that?
She glanced up at the sky, before putting on a half-smile and speaking.
. . .
“You can look now.”
Emerald removed her hand and gasped.
The sky was flowing with light, colors shifting and almost seeming to move and dance with various colors, pink, purple, green, blue, and so many more.
Her arm was still locked with Pearl’s, but her other hand drifted up, reaching lightly as though the lights were close enough to touch, even though she knew they were much, much, farther.
“Are you alright?” Pearl asked. Emerald hadn’t realized there were tears at the edges of her eyes. She sniffed, lowering her arm and wiping them with her palm.
“ It’s just… so beautiful .” she paused, closing her hand and gently pulling it into her chest. “After everything…I think I needed this.”
She smiled, but there was a mix of happiness and sadness in it. “The chance to see something pure , untouched by pain, yknow?”
Pearl nodded, her face a similar mix of emotions. “I do.”
“I’ve noticed some things are brighter than they were before. Like the sun, or the stars. Can you… see this too?” Emerald looked over to her, gesturing to the lights.
Pearl nodded. “It’s faint, but I can see the movement of the light from the solar wind.”
Emerald paused, looking down at her arm for a moment, at the colored skin. Her words were hesitant, her voice slightly nervous. “Do you… want to see it brighter?”
“What do you mean?” Pearl asked genuinely.
Emerald closed her hand, putting it to her chest again.
“It’s just… we could always try...” She trailed off, but Pearl got her meaning.
. . .
Fusing.
Something that hurt them before, but something Emerald was offering nonetheless.
Something Pearl wanted , though she had only just begun to realize it.
Pearl didn’t fully register that time had passed by until she was snapped out of her daze by Emerald pulling her arm away, the gem’s voice fully reaching her mind as she rambled.
“ -shouldn’t’ve offered after what happened last time, you can just ignore me I’m just being silly and I shouldn’t have assumed -”
Emerald turned away from her, one hand clenching her hair.
“- and now I’ve messed it all up- I’m just causing more problems and I understand why you wouldn’t want to, I mean, it hurt you, and me and I just -“
“ Hey .” Pearl cut her off, lightly reaching for the panicked gem before pausing, not wanting to make the situation worse. Emerald turned, and while she wasn’t crying or panicking her face was sad. Pearl continued. “ I’m sorry . I didn’t mean to upset you, I just didn’t know what to say.”
Emerald fully turned, but was still unable to meet her eyes, crossing her arms. “ …oh . I-I’m sorry I'm kind of just… spiraling again, aren’t I.”
“It’s okay.” Pearl said. She out of everyone knew personally what it was like to spiral every once in a while.
What mattered was when someone helped you out of it.
She turned her hand over in an offer. There was a moment where Emerald seemed almost surprised, before she met Pearl’s eyes hesitantly and slowly took it.
. . .
Emerald didn’t quite know what she was expecting. Whether Pearl would just hold her hand, or pull her into a familiar hug.
The last thing she expected however, was for Pearl to pull her in close -not quite close enough for a hug, but still close -, lacing their fingers together with her other hand ghosting over her hip.
“ Only if it’s alright with you. ”
It took a moment for Emerald to realize what she meant.
“ …of course it is. ” She finally managed to say. Even though she hadn’t tried anything along the lines of this since returning, she had a feeling it would work.
It was a battle of what-ifs.
It struck Emerald that Pearl hadn’t asked her if she knew for sure that it wouldn’t hurt. Usually the pale gem was the first to ask questions like that.
But before she could ask about it, Pearl gently pulled her in closer, setting her other hand on her waist and guiding her in a swooping dance. It was somewhat clumsy, as Emerald hadn’t danced since the last time, but she felt that same elation.
. . .
Pearl lowered her in a graceful dip, quickly pulling her back up when a soft light surrounded them.
“ Thank you. ” Emerald whispered with a soft smile, embracing her. She didn’t specify what she was thanking for, but Pearl understood.
She smiled in return, hugging the gem close. “ Always .”
They both noticed the light surrounding them grow, until it was so bright Pearl had to close her eyes.
Last time, they were forced to push each other apart.
This time, they only pulled each other closer.
. . .
“Pearl!? Emerald!?”
Garnet called repeatedly for the two gems as she climbed. They had gone to watch the northern lights as they were over beach city, but the two hadn’t come back during the night.
The voice that responded was light and airy, one Garnet didn’t know. They sounded groggy, like she had woken them up.
“ Garnet..? ”
A gem not much larger than herself sat up, yawning. Garnet gasped, a smile growing on her face.
The gem turned, and Garnet could see both the gem on her back and the one on her forehead at the same time as she offered a small smile.
The fusion’s skin was a dark green with patches of orange corruption, and her long wavy hair was a strange mix of bright pink and green. Her clothing was similar, an odd mix of the two gem’s outfits that signified one of them had never fused before. Her two eyes were black with teal centers, and she leaned against a single set of arms.
Garnet clasped her hands together, her smile growing. “How!?”
“Uhhhh-“ The gem rubbed an eye.
Garnet sat next to her quickly, acting and feeling like a hyperactive human child. “ When !?”
“Last night..?” The fusion asked awkwardly, scratching the back of her head.
“How does it feel!?”
The fusion paused, looking up at the blue sky for a moment before turning back to her with a small smile.
“Alright.”
“What’s your name?” She asked with never ending enthusiasm.
The gem smiled, blinking away the lingering sleep from her eyes. “…Granite.”
Chapter Text
Granite had asked Garnet not to tell anyone about her, so she could find the right time to introduce herself.
Garnet understood, having gone through something similar with Sardonyx.
When she left, Granite decided that now was a good time to let herself drift apart.
She had a feeling she’d be back, anyways.
. . .
They unfused gently, the two gems sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Emerald’s hand on top of Pearl’s.
Emerald moved her hand, suddenly flopping back on the grass with her arms out above her head.
“Are you okay?” Pearl asked, looking down at her.
Emerald took a deep breath, chuckling lightly. “I had no idea that being a fusion was so… calming.”
“ I can’t believe she was so calm she fell asleep.” Pearl said with an embarrassed chuckle, lying back as well. She sighed. “Although I suppose she felt that way… because we felt that way.”
“ Calm and tired .” Emerald sighed in agreement, closing her eyes.
There was a moment of comfortable silence between them, before Pearl spoke.
“Does it always look like that for you?” She asked, referring to the lights as she turned her head to look at her companion. Emerald looked over in turn, nodding shyly with a small smile.
Pearl smiled, and to Emerald it was brighter than anything else she had seen. “It was beautiful, just like you said.”
Emerald looked up at the clouds, remembering being Granite, feeling the awe and wonder that she knew was coming from Pearl as she looked up at the stars and the flowing light.
“It was.” She said with a smile.
Notes:
Sorry the chapter was so short! (Also sorry I’m posting in the early hours again 💀)
Chapter 17: Hair
Summary:
Emerald comments on her reforming.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Pearl looked up from her magazine when she heard Emerald make a noise of frustration.
“Are you alright?”
“I wasn’t thinking enough about my hair when I was reforming.” Emerald said by way of explanation, looking away from her book and over at her.
“What do you mean?”
Emerald gestured to where strands of her hair were falling into her eye. “Didn’t quite think about this.”
Pearl paused for a moment. “…I might be able to help. If you want.”
She gestured to the strands of hair. “May I?”
Emerald nodded.
Pearl pulled a small elastic band out of her gem, setting her magazine down and moving closer to Emerald to gently take the long strands of her hair.
The pale gem began to weave the strands together, her delicate fingers gently brushing the side of Emerald’s head as she worked with utter concentration.
They fell into a comfortable silence, and Emerald looked back to her book.
The moment seemed to end too soon, when Pearl gently set down the newly-formed weave of hair, held together by a small elastic band, woven is just a way that it would stay out of her eyes. Pearl gave her a small smile.
“It’ll only stay like this for a short while, but it might help.”
Emerald smiled back, feeling her cheeks warm. “ Thank you .”
Pearl looked at her for a moment, before speaking hesitantly. “Do you… mind if I hug you?”
Emerald smiled. “No. I don't mind.”
Pearl wrapped her arms around her, burying her face in her shoulder. Emerald wrapped her own around her in turn.
“Is… something wrong?” She asked.
Pearl hugged her slightly tighter. “ I just… I missed you. So much. ”
Emerald smiled, closing her eyes and leaning into the hug. “If I had any idea time was passing, I would’ve missed you too.”
. . .
It was the smallest detail, one Pearl noticed immediately regardless.
It had been a few days, but the braid was (surprisingly) still there, despite the fact that it would’ve come undone by now.
What she noticed was that Instead of the small bind of elastic holding it together, there was a small metal bead, cylindrical with something etched on it that was too small for her to easily read from a distance, and not in a language that she knew (which was surprising, considering she knew many after all her years on earth).
Emerald looked up from her book. “Are you alright?”
“What does it say?” The words were past her lips before she thought about them.
“What?” The multicolored gem tilted her head.
“ The bead .” Pearl didn’t know why she was acting shy. It was a simple question to ask.
“ Oh .” Pearl could see Emerald’s cheeks become darker as she glanced away and rubbed the back of her neck above her gem.
“…It doesn’t really mean anything, It’s just a symbol that I thought looked nice.”
“It definitely looks nice.” Pearl said with a smile. Emerald returned it.
Notes:
Sorry this chapter was so short! This was just a moment I wanted to have before we get the the Feels™️
Chapter 18: Betrayal
Summary:
Granite decides it’s time to meet the other gems.
It doesn’t end well.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Two gems sat on top of one of many reflective pools in Pearl’s room, talking about fusion.
“It’s so… strange. Every time it’s different, yet every time it’s the same.” Emerald commented.
“I know.” Pearl said with a smile.
Emerald twiddled her thumbs. “There’s… something I wanted to ask you.”
“Of course, anything.” Pearl said. Emerald hesitated.
“Why… why didn’t you ask me if fusing would hurt?” The concern in her eyes was genuine, and Pearl was slightly caught off-guard.
The pale gem glanced away. “I guess I just… didn’t think about it.” She said, embarrassed. She began using her finger to cause small ripples on the water’s smooth surface. “I know I should have, to be sure, but I just… trusted you.”
Emerald smiled shyly. “I’m glad you didn’t get hurt.”
“I’m glad we didn’t get hurt.” Pearl corrected.
Emerald chuckled lightly. “We’ve fused a few times since then. Do you think…” she offered a nervous smile. “…Maybe it’s time?”
Pearl smiled brightly. “Let’s do it.”
The two stood up, barely needing to dance before Granite had replaced them.
. . .
Granite felt joy and peace of course , but she also felt a bit of nervousness.
But were her nerves from Emerald, Pearl, or herself?
It was hard to tell, though it was probably a mix of all three.
“Will they like me?” She asked herself. She had only met Garnet so far, but she thought that maybe now she could meet the others.
She took a deep breath. “Do I look okay?”
She looked down at her reflection in the elevated pool.
As the two gems had fused more often they had become more stable, with her taking on a set appearance.
She had kept the multi-colored hair, but now it was in a long braid that went to her lower back. She had two matching braids on either side of her head that curled back to meet the base of the larger one, a metal bead on each side that mimicked Emerald’s.
She had gone for a more simplistic outfit, wearing a pantsuit with ruffles and stripes that were just different enough shades to be noticeable.
On top of that she wore a denim jacket, liking the texture on her arms. She made the yellow star on the back look as though it was sewed on.
To complete her outfit, she wore plain sandals, ones that had a strap around both the top of her feet and the back of her ankles, with little stars where they connected.
She took another deep breath. “Let’s do this.”
. . .
She made her way down to the meetup fields, going through the crowd of gems, looking for someone familiar to start with. A few gems gave her passing glances, but didn’t seem to find her out of place.
Eventually she spotted a familiar face, talking to a few nephrites.
She approached the group, taking a deep breath and walking up behind her before awkwardly speaking. “Hi Bismuth…”
The gem turned, a large smile on her face. “Oh, hey there!”
Bismuth set her hands on her hips. “Do I… know… you…?” She trailed off as her eyes landed on the smooth gem on Granite’s forehead, before gaining a smile.
“Pearl?” She questioned, Her smile growing.
Granite tapped the tips of her pointer fingers together, offering a small smile. “Not just Pearl.”
Bismuth smiled, raising a brow. “I can tell. What’s your name, friend?”
“…Granite.” She said shyly.
Bismuth nodded politely. “It’s a pleasure to meetcha’. Do you like handshakes? I know Emerald doesn’t.”
For a moment Granite wondered how Bismuth knew who her other component was. Then she remembered her corruption scars from the gem, and figured that was it.
“I’m okay with it.” Granite offered a hand. Bismuth shook it.
Granite sighed. “I don’t know why we were worrying about this all morning.”
Bismuth shrugged. “I get it. Meeting new people can be nerve-wracking, and you’re made of two very self conscious gems.”
Granite set her hands in her hips in an effort to look confident. “Alright. One down, everyone else to go.”
. . .
It was certainly an awkward experience, but Granite enjoyed meeting the friends (old and new) of her components.
She met Lapis and Peridot, and other fusions like Crazy Lace Agate and Watermelon Tourmaline.
She knew at some point she should meet Steven and Amethyst, but at the moment she didn't know their locations to do so.
With her height, she stood taller than most of them, seeing when new gems approached. If she saw them, it would be fun to meet them. If she didn't, it would have to wait for another time.
Then it all seemed to happen in a split second.
One moment, she was laughing at Crazy Lace Agate’s tale of awkward fusing mid battle with some other gems, and the next…
Eyes locked onto a familiar figure.
She felt the emotions of her components flood her, drowning her in guilt and fear and pain and a lingering twinge of anger and betrayal .
Then she came undone.
. . .
There was no gentle unfusing.
The two gems shot apart, landing roughly on the grass.
The gems around them gave room, a few offering hands to help them up with most thinking the two just couldn’t hold the fusion.
Emerald shot up on her own, her eyes frantic and the world seeming to spin around her.
Someone reached for her but she pulled away, frantically picking a random direction and running, everything blurred through tears and panic.
She ran until there was no one to watch her fall apart, then she did just that, sitting curled up in a ball as sobs racked her frame and she knew that what she saw was no illusion.
The feelings of sadness and rage and betrayal filled her, and she didn’t know how to handle it all.
Eventually the tears faded, but her sense of crumbling apart didn’t.
She sat like that for a while, until she heard footsteps carefully approach, too light to be anyone else.
. . .
“Hey…” Pearl reached for her, but Emerald pulled away.
“ Don’t touch me .” The gem stood up quickly, and Pearl could see the tear tracks down her cheeks.
“ You lied to me .” Emerald said coldly, her hands clenching into shaking fists.
“I-“ Pearl started, but Emerald interrupted her.
“I SAW HER, PEARL! JASPER IS HERE , AND YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT IT!” She shouted.
Then Emerald’s voice dropped lower, her hand clenching the fabric over her chest. “…Was I just another way to be a fusion, like what you did to Garnet? ”
“No!” Pearl protested weakly. “I- I just wanted to protect you!”
“HOW IS THIS PROTECTING ME!?” Emerald put a splayed hand to her chest.
Then she grit her teeth, shutting her eyes tight. Her voice lowered again, a choked noise coming from her throat. “ I thought I could trust you out of all gems on this planet to tell me the truth. ”
“Emerald, I-“ Pearl reached for her, but Emerald took a step back, opening her eyes.
“No. Don’t touch me.”
She turned away, crossing her arms. “And don’t follow me, either. I… I need some space.”
Then she walked away.
Pearl knew that she had reached the end of the ticking timer. She wasn’t quick enough to outrun it, and she wasn’t good enough to tell Emerald first.
And now everything was crashing down around her, and she could almost feel the bonds of trust and friendship breaking with every step Emerald took away from her.
And it was all her fault.
Pearl found her voice again after Emerald was long gone. She wrapped her arms around herself, speaking quietly and looking off in the direction her friend left in.
“…what have I done?”
Notes:
Welcome back to the Feels™️!!!
Y’all knew this moment was coming.
(Also, nobody read all the additional tags 🤫)
Chapter 19: Don’t
Summary:
Pearl talks briefly to Garnet
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Having nowhere else to go, Pearl went home. The screen door shut behind her, and she didn’t look over to where she knew Garnet was standing.
“I’m not in the mood for an ‘I told you so’.” She said sadly, no malice in the statement.
Garnet crossed her arms. “I know. What happened?”
Pearl looked away, crossing her arms as well. “ …I ran out of time .”
Garnet said nothing, and Pearl continued. “…She asked for space. I know that that and time are the only way things will get better.”
She sighed. “But I’m not counting on it to get better.”
“You should know, it will-“ Garnet spoke up, but Pearl cut her off.
“ Don’t … Tell me about the future. I can’t have hope right now.” She said surely. She opened up the temple door, half-looking back. “If she chooses to forgive me, I want to find out for myself.”
She went into the temple, the door shutting behind her. She let out a sad sigh, sinking down and sitting with her back to the door.
“I wouldn’t forgive me.” She whispered, so quiet that the statement was drowned out by the sounds of rushing water.
Notes:
Sorry the chapter was so short!
Chapter 20: Memories
Summary:
Emerald returns to a place she dreads
Chapter Text
Emerald didn’t know why she went where she did.
In the weeks since she’d returned she’d been avoiding going back, though she knew she had to at some point, for closure.
But every time she had imagined going back, someone was with her, helping her process.
Steven.
Or Amethyst.
Or Garnet.
…or Pearl.
But now, she went alone.
She didn’t bother worrying that a warp pad would hurt her anymore. If it did , said pain would be insignificant to how she felt now.
When the blue glow faded, She arrived in broken ruins. It wasn’t a particularly large structure, but it was old, and definitely gem-made.
“ So this is how he found me .” She murmured. Stepping forward and through the rubble and overgrowth, she felt as though she was following Steven’s footsteps.
She wondered how he was feeling at this point. Was he mad at her? Upset with her? Or just… scared for her?
Then she stepped through the brush, seeing the clearing where it all took place.
The claw marks in the ground had faded, though a few slashing across the surface of the large boulder remained.
She looked around, crossing her arms as she saw a tree that had been ripped out by the roots.
She faintly remembered lashing out in the midst of pain, though she didn’t know if it was herself or Biggs.
The memories were only flashes, coming fast and leaving just as quickly.
Anger.
Pain.
Fear .
Then…
She shook her head, not eager to think about what happened next.
Instead she took a few deep breaths, her mind going back to the argument.
“I was just trying to protect you-“
‘HOW IS THIS PROTECTING ME!?’
Didn’t Pearl understand how much this hurt her?
‘If all of the corrupted gems are back… is Jasper back too?’
Pearl had hesitated.
In hindsight, Emerald supposed that was where she chose to omit the truth. She wondered if anything after that was real, or just more lies.
“Thank you.”
“…Always.”
Being Granite for the first time, looking up at wonderfully bright lights and feeling peaceful and safe, even if it wasn’t forever.
Pearl’s fingers gently brushing her scalp as she wove her hair, a sense of tranquility over them both.
“I missed you.” Pearl’s arms around her, holding on as if she would never let her drift away again.
How much of anything that Pearl had told her was true? Did she even care ?
How could Emerald trust her now, knowing that she had chosen to lie?
She stayed like that, reflecting on everything for a long while before heading back, leaving the clearing behind her.
Chapter 21: Of Course
Summary:
Emerald runs into Amethyst and Steven
Chapter Text
Amethyst and Steven walked down the beach, having a non-serious argument about plants.
They paused however, when they saw Emerald walking in the opposite direction.
“Hey.” Amethyst said simply.
“ Hello .” Was the gem’s only response. She wouldn’t look at them.
“We’re just heading home. Do you wanna come?” Steven asked.
“ No .” Emerald said quietly, looking away. “ I’m going to stay with the other off-colors for a little while .”
Amethyst sighed, giving her a sad look. “…Pearl told you.”
It wasn’t a question.
The gem shakily sighed, giving an over exaggerated smile and a fake-sounding laugh as she facepalmed. “Of course ! I shouldn’t be surprised that I was the only one who didn’t know. Why didn’t either of you tell me?”
Her words lacked accusation, just sounding exasperated and forced.
“…Pearl said she was going to.” Seven whispered.
“She didn’t.” Emerald said coldly, and Amethyst could see the dead look in her eyes and the tears that welled up in the corners. “ I had to figure it out for myself .”
Before either of them could ask if she was okay or if she wanted to talk, she kept walking. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Or not.”
“See you tomorrow.” Amethyst said surely.
There was no way Emerald wasn’t going to need someone to talk to when the time called for it.
Chapter 22: Used to be
Summary:
Emerald asks the off-colors what she missed.
Chapter Text
The sand under her feet became grass far too soon, and Emerald took a moment to herself before continuing. She took a few deep breaths, forcing herself to stop crying.
Then she went on, doing her best to look as though she didn’t feel like crumbling apart.
It didn’t take long to spot Fluorite, and make her way over to her and the others.
She sat down on the grass, speaking simply. “Hey.”
Rhodonite smiled. “We were looking for you earlier. Where were you?”
Emerald paused. “…I was a little… occupied.”
“Emerald!” Padparadscha ran forward, jumping onto her lap and hugging her.
“Oof! Hey Padparadscha…”
Padparadscha squeezed her tighter, her hands pressing into her back under where Emerald’s shoulder blades would be if she were human. It was a feeling that caused Emerald to tense, as it reminded her far too much of-
“…You're uncomfortable.”
Padparadscha’s voice cut through her thoughts. The gem’s grip loosened, and she sat back.
Emerald took a deep breath, forcing herself to be stable and give a small smile. “I’m alright, I just… don’t want to be clung to right now.”
She waited for a moment.
“…Okay. Can I sit next to you?” Padparadscha asked.
She smiled weakly. “Of course.”
Padparadscha got off her lap, sitting next to her and leaning against her side. Emerald took a few deep breaths to calm the spike in her nerves.
“…Sorry.” Padparadscha said simply.
“It’s alright.”
Emerald looked up at the others, who looked slightly concerned. “Never mind that. If you don’t mind me asking, what happened after I left?”
Rhodonite nodded solemnly. “…We kept moving. Life was pretty much the same - minus you, of course- , until the twins found Lars and Steven.”
“The robonoids couldn’t see Lars,” One of the Rutiles said.
“-But they could see Steven.” The other one added. “So, we brought them down in the kindergartens.”
“Steven… had… to… leave, …because… the… diamonds… were… after… him.” Fluorite said.
“But Lars led us, and we stole a ship and made it here.” Rhodonite finished.
Emerald nodded her understanding. “So when did Lars-?”
“What about you ?” Padparadscha interrupted.
Emerald paused. “I, uh…”
“Yeah, when did you change?” One of the Rutiles asked.
“Where did the ship that took you go?” The other one asked as well.
Emerald tried to hide her nerves, nodding quickly. “I… well, as you… as you know already, I was on a roaming eye. We went to a larger ship, and…It sort of… crashed here on earth.”
The other’s immediately gave her shocked looks, and she quickly continued. “I was fine! The Crystal gems found me.”
The others seemed to relax, but Flourite seemed skeptical.
Emerald continued, albeit a little quicker. “I lived here for a while, before there was a corrupted gem, and I… I fused with her because she was going to harm Steven, because corrupted gems kind of lose themselves, and… and yes. Here we are. I’m uncorrupted now and everything is fine.”
She took a deep breath, giving a small smile. “I’m perfectly fine.”
They all seemed to believe her to varying degrees.
“…And we’re all together again, just like it used to be.” One of the rutiles said.
Emerald’s chest tightened at her words, and she forced herself to speak with a smile. “… Just like it used to be .”
Chapter 23: Nightmare
Summary:
Emerald has a nightmare for the first time.
Trigger warning for semi-graphic depictions of violence
Notes:
TW for semi-graphic depictions of violence
You have been warned
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
At first there is only darkness, like every time she sleeps.
She can feel something tugging at her mind, but as always she pushes it back, holding it back behind a mental wall.
But then her stress seems to chip it away, and all at once the wall cracks and crumbles to nothing.
Then she opens her eyes.
She’s in a wide open field, the grass swaying gently in the breeze.
“Guys?” She calls out, though she receives no answer.
She turns around, seeing a large orange figure with her back turned.
Jasper.
She takes a step back, hoping to get out of there before Jasper sees her, but the large gem speaks.
“They were just as weak as you.” Jasper’s rough voice seems to echo, despite the lack of walls for the sound to reverberate off of.
Then the gem turns around, and in the blink of an eye the two of them are in the clearing surrounded by trees, shattered shards all around her feet.
Her chest tightens and she slumps to her knees as she recognizes them. She picks up a handful, feeling tears well up and spill over.
“No…”
A jagged piece of the Rutiles. A Ruby cracked in half. A small piece of an orange sapphire.
Looking around, it was everyone with a gem she cared about.
Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, Rhodonite’s Pearl half, Pearl, Fluorite’s gems, Bismuth, Biggs, Lapis, and more.
She looks up through tears, seeing Jasper starting to stalk toward her, her fists clenched.
Terror spikes through her, and she stands up quickly, turning to run away.
Jasper pulls her back by the collar, and she is thrown onto her side, sliding across the tiles of the sky arena as if they were coated in ice.
She reaches the edge and clings tight, her legs dangling over nothing but air.
Then Jasper grabs her by the back of the throat, right over the scars already there. She pushes her against the green metal wall, holding her there with a pressing hand just under her gem.
Jasper sneers. “ Weak .”
This is no fantasy. It’s a memory pulled from the deepest part of her mind, one of the worst that she wishes she had forgotten.
Jasper pulls on her gem, and it hurts so much she can't do anything but cry and beg for her to stop as her pleas echo throughout the hall.
It’s not a fight, but a tease, something Jasper does merely for the pain it causes, merely for the goal of seeing her beg.
Then, tired of watching her squirm and cry, in one smooth motion, Jasper rips the gem out of her back.
. . .
Emerald snapped awake, sitting up quickly. She gasped for air, and a hand automatically went to her gem.
It was smooth, undamaged.
But that hardly calmed her.
What was that ?
Why did she go back?
Why did it feel so… real ?
She looked around frantically, seeing the other off-colors all sleeping soundly. She had introduced them to the idea the day before, thinking it would be nice.
She forced herself to take deep breaths, using a hand on her chest to center herself, although small tears still trailed down her cheeks.
“It’s okay.” She whispered to herself, though her voice cracked and her breaths shook. “You’re fine… She’s not here right now.”
She forced herself to look around, to acknowledge her location and who she was with; to acknowledge that it was okay , at least right now.
She sat with her knees pulled into her chest, finally able to wipe the tears off without more falling in their place.
She stayed like that for the rest of the night, just trying to hold herself together.
When the others woke up in the morning, she lied and said she had woken just before them, that her night had been as peaceful as theirs.
Everything is fine.
Notes:
I think I was dancing around portraying her situation in part 1
But I guess now I’m less squeamish about writing it
I can’t help but wonder if that’s a good thing or bad thing.
Chapter 24: Gunga
Summary:
Amethyst checks in on Emerald.
Emerald reunites with an old friend.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Emerald sat conversing with the others about their dreams when Amethyst arrived.
“…Can I talk to you?” Amethyst asked simply.
“Sure.” She stood up, following Amethyst to a spot away from the other gems.
Amethyst wrung her hands. “…How are you doing?”
Emerald glanced away, crossing her arms. “I’m fine.”
Amethyst crossed her own. “…No, you’re not. I saw you yesterday.”
“Yes, I am.” She protested. “Yesterday was nothing.”
Like the flip of a light switch, Amethyst snapped . “ Stop acting like this.”
“ Like what ?” She asked softly.
Amethyst’s tone was filled with irritance, and a little bit of genuine anger . “Like… like Pearl !”
Emerald went rigid as she continued. “This is exactly how Pearl acted after you died!”
The purple gem clenched her fists. “It was all her saying ‘I’m fine’ while she cried alone and kept us all at a distance for months , and now you’re doing it too!”
Emerald turned away from her. “ Maybe you should just leave .”
Amethyst scowled, masking her worry with anger. “I’m not leaving ! You . Need . Help !”
Emerald hunched her shoulders. “ Leave , Amethyst.”
Amethyst’s anger melted away when she heard the gem’s voice crack slightly. “ Emerald… ”
“… Just leave me alone .”
Amethyst pulled back, only a twinge of sadness left in her voice. “ …okay .”
Emerald heard Amethyst walking away from her, and she couldn’t help but wonder how it was so easy. Last time she had truly interacted with the gem one-on-one she was headstrong and determined.
She quickly brushed away a single tear as Biggs approached her and spoke. “Are you okay? I saw what went down with Pearl the other day.”
“I’m fine. I just…” Emerald took a deep shaky breath. “I need a break from everyone...” She glanced around for a moment. “…But I can’t be by myself out here.”
“Why not?” Biggs' confusion was genuine. Emerald held her arms tighter around herself, unable to look at the Quartz.
“…Because I was lied to . She isn't gone.”
“ What !?” Biggs tensed, looking around swiftly. “Did she hurt you?”
Emerald fought against tears again. “No. I just… saw her.”
Biggs nodded firmly. “ I’ll sit with you if you need a break. If she comes anywhere near you..” she punched her fist into her other hand.
Emerald sighed, glancing away. “ …Alright .”
The two walked to a completely secluded spot, and Emerald shut her eyes tight, setting her head on her knees.
“…Are you actually fine?” Biggs asked after a moment.
Emerald sighed again. “…of course not.”
She was tired , she wanted to go home.
But she didn’t want to go back to the house with all of them there to see her pain.
Not after what Pearl did. Not after she herself pushed Amethyst away.
Even here , she didn’t want the other off-colors to see her pain.
Not when they were all living their happily ever afters.
After a while, she tensed when she heard the grass rustling from footsteps. When she looked up however, it wasn’t the gem she was expecting.
In fact, it wasn’t a gem at all.
. . .
Emerald gasped softly. “… Nanefua? ”
“Hello again.” The elder said with a small smile. “It’s been a while.”
Nanefua was in a faded green suit, her glasses polished and her hair nearly tied in the bun she usually kept it in. She gave a polite nod to Biggs, and Biggs nodded in turn before the Quartz got up and gave them some space.
The elderly human sat next to her. “Steven told me about your return. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to visit until now. I’ve missed our card games and your company.”
Emerald sat with her legs crossed, clenching her hands in her lap.
“…I’m sorry I didn’t go see you either. I didn’t want you to see me like… this .” She hunched her shoulders.
“Like what?” Nanefua asked genuinely.
“ …corrupted .” Emerald said in a small voice.
“ Nonsense .” Nanefua rolled up the sleeve of her suit, showing off a jagged scar on her arm. Emerald found herself staring at it.
“I won’t judge.” Nanefua continued. “A lot of folks carry scars, outside or inside.”
She moved her sleeve back down. “Now. Do you want to talk to me about what’s going on?”
. . .
“And now I’m just… trying to hold it all together.” Emerald said, glancing away.
“I see. Are you doing okay?” Nanefua asked.
Emerald’s voice carried a weight. “… No . Nothing is ever okay. I thought I could trust her. Now… I’m not sure.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s it ?!?” Emerald said, suddenly frustrated. Tears pricked her eyes. “Aren’t you going to tell me that there’s a perfectly sensible reason for this?”
Nanefua set a wrinkled hand on top of her clenched and shaking one, speaking gently.
“There are things we say and do because of how we feel about ourselves…”
Emerald looked over at her pleadingly, and she continued.
“…And then there are conscious choices. I can explain possible reasons for things you’ve told me she says, but I won’t justify her choices. She should not have lied to you.”
Emerald looked down, shutting her eyes tight as she felt tears well up again.
“She said she wanted to protect me. But this... it hurts . So much . I wanted to trust her. I did trust her.”
“I know .” Nanefua said softly.
Emerald paused, looking away. “…I saw things when I slept last night. Terrifying things.”
Nanefua gave her a sympathetic look. “The thing about nightmares is, they’re often bits and pieces of our fears put in something that feels like reality.”
Emerald shut her eyes tight. “But… some of it was real . Some of it was just things she’s already done to me.”
That gave Nanefua pause. After a moment, she spoke. “…I’m sorry.”
A single tear dropped off Emerald's chin, and her lip quivered. “ I just want to get better… But I keep sliding back .”
“It’s okay. It will take time.” Nanefua patted her hand. “…And support. As I’ve told you before, even if you have no one else, you have your Gunga.”
Emerald sniffed, wiping her eye with a palm. “… what’s a Gunga? ” She asked softly.
Nanefua smiled softly. “Someone who’s here to help, anytime you need it.”
Notes:
Alternate chapter title: “Nanefua is the best and she just friggin adopted Emerald in all ways but legally I love this character so much she’s fun and sweet and i headcanon her to have therapist powers, seriously she’s one of the best side characters ever!!!”
I’m other news, Here come dat feels™️!
Chapter 25: Family
Summary:
Emerald meets the Other Emerald
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Emerald talked with Nanefua for a few more hours. When the elderly human had to go, she walked Emerald back to the other off-colors.
When they got back, Emerald saw that Lars had arrived.
“Hey.” He said simply when she approached. “The others were just talking about how they brought you up to speed on what happened while you were gone.”
“They did.” Emerald responded, waving goodbye to Nanefua.
“Did they tell you about the other you?” He asked casually.
Emerald blinked, genuinely confused. She turned to look at him. “… What? ”
The other off-colors tensed, and Rhodonite tapped her fingers together nervously. Lars sighed exasperatedly, turning to them. “ Guys , we talked about this.”
“ About what ?” Emerald asked softly. “ Is something wrong ?”
Lars smiled slightly when he looked back at her. “Nah. While we were in space, we met… another…”
The smile suddenly melted off Lars’s face as he trailed off, and his voice was bare of emotion as he looked over her shoulder. “… Emerald .”
Emerald turned, eyes catching onto the gem Lars was referencing.
The gem’s complexion was similar to her own before she had been corrupted, but her form was broader and her hair was fuller, and she stood almost a head taller than herself.
“ Captain Lars .” The gem said with the same lack of enthusiasm as she got close enough.
“What are you doing here?” Lars asked, crossing his arms.
The green gem rolled her eyes. “Since Era three has arrived, I supposed I should come and see what all the fuss is about on this planet.”
She suddenly looked down, meeting Emerald’s eyes with irritance. “What are you staring at?”
Emerald flushed out of embarrassment, glancing away and scratching the back of her head.
“I’ve just… never seen another Emerald before.” She said, offering a small smile. It was so interesting to see another one of her gemkind who was normal . Said smile melted off however, when it was met with a look of disdain.
The green gem’s eyes flicked up and down her form for a moment before she spoke, her voice laced with irritance. “ Oh .”
Emerald pulled her closed hand into her chest. “Oh… what?”
The other Emerald raised a brow, the light glinting off the gem over her eye. “Nothing. Just… I never thought I’d meet the gem I replaced.”
“ What ?” Emerald asked in a small voice, feeling smaller than she did just a moment ago.
The taller gem smiled smugly, speaking as if stating the obvious. “Why, It’s very well known among the higher-ups of Yellow Diamond’s old court, that thousands of years ago her new general came out wrong -“ She put emphasis on the word, leaning down slightly to better meet Emerald’s eyes. “-before she made a proper one.”
There was a festering silence, one that made Emerald feel progressively smaller. Her face flushed out of embarrassment, and she broke eye contact to look down.
After a moment however, Lars broke the silence with a scoff.
“Alright Emerald Two .” He said, raising an eyebrow with a light chuckle.
The other Emerald looked up, turning to him as her face scrunched up in anger. “ What did you call me?”
Lars set the back of his hand under his chin, giving the Other Emerald a rugged smile. “Well naturally , if our Emerald came before you, then you’re number two .”
The Rutiles snickered, and the others smiled.
“I. am a distinguished , general -!“ Emerald Two snapped.
“Well our Emerald is better!” Padparadacha cut in.
That made Emerald chuckle, broken out of her enclosed moment.
“ Whatever .” Emerald Two muttered, storming off.
The off-colors looked to Emerald, who by this point was full-on laughing, so hard tears were springing in her eyes.
“Are you alright?” Lars asked, fully serious.
“I’m fine.” She said. “-I really am.” She added on when Rhodonite gave her a concerned look.
She didn’t know how long it had been since she laughed this hard, feeling nothing but pure joy .
She wiped the tears out of the corners of her eye with a finger, sighing. “I just… missed you.”
“ That’s right, walk away !” Padparadacha called in the direction Emerald Two went.
“- All of you.” Emerald added on with a smile.
Padparadacha turned, crossing her arms and muttering. “ I don’t like her. ”
“Me…neither.” Flourite added.
Padparadacha suddenly hugged Emerald’s leg, and Emerald in turn set a hand on her head.
“ I missed you too .” The orange gem said, leaning her forehead against her leg.
Emerald gently stroked her hair. Padparadscha lifted her arms, and Emerald picked her up, wrapping her in a hug.
Rhodonite walked over, wrapping all four of her arms around them both. The rutiles joined in, and Fluorite did what she could. Lars stood at a distance, before Rhodonite reached over with a Ruby arm and pulled him in.
“ Thank you .” Emerald murmured, looking at Lars.
“It’s nothing.” Lars said with a smile. “We off-colors stick together.”
“Like a family.” Emerald said with a matching one.
Lars nodded. “ Like a family .”
And for the first time in a while, Emerald’s heart and mind felt warmer.
Notes:
Would you guys be interested in a Spotify playlist with a song to listen to for each chapter?
Chapter 26: Joy
Summary:
Rhodonite wants to share her joy with Emerald.
Chapter Text
Rhodonite didn’t know if she had ever been happier. They were on Earth , under the bright sun and blue sky, and they were free to be whoever they wanted.
She was free to be together. She didn’t have to run to preserve her relationship, they could stay together as her out in the open.
She was still nervous of course, too many years of running and hiding had taken its tole on her.
But over time, she knew that eventually she would learn to relax and be happy.
And having Emerald back, something neither of her components would’ve ever thought possible, made her feel more than happy right now.
For a moment, she couldn’t help but remember the day they lost her.
They were separated when the Robonoids found them.
It was a terrifying day, herself and the Rutiles running one way while Emerald and Padparadscha ran the other, Fluorite hiding around a pillar.
She was so scared they were going to be shattered. But they didn’t.
They met up with Fluorite, before trying to find their two missing friends.
What they didn’t expect was to find Padparadscha by herself, tucked into a stone alcove and crying.
“Are you alright!?” Rhodonite asked frantically. “Where’s Emerald!?”
Padparadscha had closed in on herself, taking even longer than normal to reply. When she did her voice was so quiet they barely heard her.
“…she’s gone.”
Rhodonite’s eyes widened, struck by pain that the impossible had happened; that they had lost one of their own, one who’d been with them for so long it was hard to remember a time when she wasn’t.
She felt tears in her eyes. “No…”
Her emotions were crumbling apart, her stability gone.
Then, for the first time in almost seven thousand years, Pearl and Ruby forcibly unfused from the sheer weight of their pain.
It was months before they fused again.
Rhodonite shook her head, banishing the painful memory from her mind. The past was behind them now, the future looking infinitely bright. They were together again, and they could all be happy.
She could be happy.
She spotted Emerald talking to Biggs, and she decided it would be fun to surprise her, sharing her joy.
She snuck up behind Emerald with a smile.
A split second before she grabbed the gem by the shoulders with her Ruby arms, Biggs saw her and raised her arm to say something.
But it was too late.
“ Surprise !”
Emerald practically jumped in the air, staggering away and turning as her breaths became quick and her demeanor became suddenly on-edge.
Her eyes were wide with genuine fear .
Rhodonite tilted her head. “Are… you okay?”
Emerald got suddenly defensive, pulling her arms into her chest. Rhodonite could see her shaking. “I’m fine , just don’t scare me like that!”
Biggs cringed, but said nothing.
Rhodonite stuttered slightly, shocked by the sudden change in Emerald’s demeanor. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t think-“
“YOU NEVER THINK!” Emerald shouted. Rhodonite flinched back, her eyes wide. Emerald slapped her hand over her mouth.
Silence hung for a moment, the two gems staring at each other.
“ I-I’m sorry -” Emerald stammered. Rhodonite could see tears in the corners of her eyes before Emerald turned away from her. She could see the gem’s other hand clutching her hair in a way that had to be painful.
Biggs seemed to want to help, gently reaching for Emerald, but refraining from touching her. “Hey.. it’s okay.” She said gently, but it didn’t seem to be working.
“Emerald, What’s wrong?” Rhodonite asked, reaching for her as well. She had known Emerald for thousands of years, but had never once seen her act like this before.
Emerald hunched her shoulders, clutching her hair tighter. “Nothing!! Nothing’s wrong!”
Rhodonite reached farther, but as soon as her Pearl hand brushed Emerald's shoulder the gem flinched away.
. . .
“ Don’t .” She said in between shaky breaths. Emerald was on edge, feeling as though she was barely a moment away from crumbling apart.
This hadn’t happened since she saw her .
She couldn’t do anything , feeling a familiar panic building. She didn’t want Rhodonite to see her fall apart like this. She shut her eyes tight, trying not to show how unstable she felt.
“ Emerald...? ” Rhodonite asked again behind her.
“I’m… fine .” She lied in between shaking breaths. Out of the corner of her vision she could see Biggs looking at her with genuine concern. She shook her head frantically, trying to shake off the tears.
“I’m fine !” She said again, more frantic.
Before either of them could protest again, she did what she always did when there was nothing else to do.
She ran.
Chapter 27: Forgiveness… Can you imagine?
Summary:
Emerald panics and runs.
Pearl follows.
Notes:
Yes the chapter title is a Hamilton reference
Deal with it 😎
Chapter Text
Pearl immediately looked up from where she was talking to the Heaven and Earth beetles when she heard Emerald shout.
Her chest tightened as she watched the gem run away.
She felt the need to go after her, but reminded herself that Emerald had asked for space. She just stood there, feeling torn until Garnet spoke up.
“Pearl.” Her voice was steady.
Pearl wasted no time in responding, her eyes trained on the direction she saw her run off in. “Do you see if I make it worse?”
Garnet paused, and Pearl anxiously waited. “…You help. But, don’t expect helping to fix everything immediately.”
Pearl nodded firmly, and Garnet continued.
“In the most likely future, she’s going to the ruins of the Sky Arena.”
Without further words Pearl started off, weaving around gems to find the nearest warp. Her nerves were heightened, and by the time she finally found one she was wringing her hands with worry.
As the blue light surrounded her, she realized that she didn’t know what she was going to say or do.
She didn’t know if Emerald would be comfortable with contact with her after what happened between them.
But it was a very real possibility that Emerald needed help right now.
And Pearl was going to offer it, as she always did.
She wasn’t going to make Emerald handle this alone.
. . .
Emerald’s breaths were quick, and she desperately tried to hold herself together.
Her panic was building, and her chest tightened as she felt like she was going to die.
Memories flashed through her mind of the only time she tried to run away from Jasper, only causing her to curl up tighter.
Her hands were gripping her hair tightly, shaking violently.
She needed to get it together , go back and apologize for running, lie and say that everything was fine when clearly it wasn’t.
But she couldn’t . She felt like she was falling apart while desperately trying to keep up a smile.
Her mind was racing, thoughts barely staying in her head long enough to fully think them.
Then a single phrase cut through her panic.
“ Hey .”
Emerald managed to look up, seeing Pearl sitting next to her and shakily offering a hand.
She was too frantic to question it, just desperately taking her hand and clinging tight when Pearl pulled her close.
Emerald felt the need to explain herself, but she couldn’t get the words out in between gasping breaths. “ Sh-She-I-I thought it was- “
“ It’s okay. ” Pearl murmured. “ Just Breathe. We can talk about it after .”
Emerald set her forehead against Pearl’s chest, feeling it rise and fall as Pearl mimicked human breathing, and tried to use it to guide her own. She screwed her eyes shut, trying to keep a grip on reality as tears trailed down her cheeks.
Pearl held her as she trembled, rubbing her arm with an open palm and trying to ground her with her touch.
Eventually the panic finally faded, and Emerald’s body relaxed. Her breaths evened out, but she kept her eyes shut.
With every deep breath, she faintly smelled Strawberries. Pearl continued to gently run her palm up and down her arm.
It was grounding.
“ Are you okay ?” Pearl asked softly after a moment of silence.
“… I’m fine .” Emerald answered tiredly.
She could tell Pearl knew she was lying, though the pale gem said nothing.
They sat together for a while, until Emerald felt stable enough. She climbed off of Pearl’s lap, sitting down with her legs crossed and looking away.
“… I’m sorry .” She didn’t know why she always felt the need to apologize after she was pulled out of panic like that.
“… I should be the one saying that .” Pearl murmured sadly.
Emerald hesitated for a moment before speaking again. “…Why did you follow me?”
Pearl glanced away, wording her hands. “I know you asked for space... But, even if you’re still mad at me, you needed help.”
She took a deep breath. “Although, I don’t expect you to forgive me just because I followed. If you ever choose to, it should be when you’re ready. Not just because I helped you.”
She continued wringing her hands. “What I did was wrong, and if you don’t ever forgive me, I’ll understand.”
“…I know .” Emerald murmured after a moment of silence. “ But I also think I understand why you did it, now .”
She sighed, looking down and lightly closing her eyes. “ …I’ve been lying too . I haven’t told the other off-colors about Jasper. I just told them about the crash.”
Then her eyes opened and widened slightly, and she clenched her hair tightly with a hand as she realized her situation. “Stars… I just ran away from Rhodonite without explanation.”
She covered the side of her face with her other hand, shutting her eyes tightly. “I thought she was her … oh , what am I going to say to them about this…? ”
“ Why don’t you want to tell them ?” Pearl asked softly.
Emerald sighed, nervously setting her still-shaking hands down. “Rhodonite… worries . The twins and fluorite can be… protective. And Padparadscha… she’s just… so happy to see me again, I just can’t…”
She took a shaky breath. “…I haven’t told them, because I don’t want Rhodonite and Padparadscha to be scared for me. I don’t want Jasper to hurt anyone if any of them try to confront her. But I also just...”
Her hand threaded into her hair again. “… I don’t know how to tell them that I’m falling apart because of everything .”
She took a breath, shutting her eyes for a moment to avoid seeing the concerned look Pearl no doubt had, before letting go of her hair and continuing. “…So, I understand now why you didn’t tell me. You wanted to keep me away from the pain of knowing.”
Pearl glanced away, ashamed. “…But I just made it that much worse when you saw her.”
. . .
Emerald didn’t respond, but her silence was all the confirmation Pearl needed. The pale gem worried her lip.
“ I’m so sorry .” She said again, this time in a hushed whisper.
They sat together for a while in silence, both trying to figure out what to say next. Eventually, Emerald broke it.
“I can’t… forget what you did.” She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a breath. “But I can forgive you.”
She looked at Pearl with a soft look in her eyes, and Pearl felt tears in the corners of her own.
She didn’t deserve this. She hadn’t done enough to make it right.
“ Pearl ?” Emerald asked softly.
“ It's nothing. I’ll just... ” Pearl sniffed, wiping an eye with the palm of her hand. “ …Try to deserve it. ”
Emerald glanced away again, before opening her arms in invitation.
Pearl wrapped her arms around her, and Emerald did the same, burying her face in her neck.
Not everything was fixed between them, Pearl knew that. She knew that she would have to prove she could be trusted again, and hope that they could someday be the friends they were before.
But right now, they just need to hold one another, and stay grounded in this moment.
Pearl knew that she would have to do more.
But right now, this was all they needed.
Chapter 28: Catching up
Summary:
The other Off-Colors decide to confront Emerald.
Chapter Text
The hug broke away, and Emerald sat on her own again. She sighed, looking down and feeling generally overwhelmed.
“Are you alright?” Pearl asked.
“ I just… want to go home. ” She murmured.
She was tired .
Pearl softened even more, if it was possible. “You’d be welcome. Steven’s missed you these past few weeks.”
The pale gem glanced down as well, gaining a small smile. “…We all have.”
Emerald shut her eyes for a moment.
She wanted to believe that.
“Maybe you should just leave.” She had said.
Emerald didn’t want to talk to Amethyst about how she was feeling if the purple gem was just going to yell at her.
The nerves from the pressing and the shouting from Amethyst weren't helped by the ones from the nightmare, still fresh in her mind.
“I’m not leaving! You. Need. Help!”
Amethyst’s voice was angry . Emerald didn’t know what she wanted her to say, what could she do to get her to stop pressing her, or at least stop yelling?
“ Leave , Amethyst.” Her voice cracked, feeling as though her nerves and emotions were leaking through. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes.
“…Just leave me alone.”
Amethyst had happily complied.
“…Yeah.” Emerald said simply, in response to Pearl’s statement.
. . .
The two of them warped back to the fields, so that Pearl could let Steven know they were headed home.
“Will you be okay?” Pearl asked, seemingly nervous to leave her by herself. Knowing Pearl would have to search through the crowds for him, Emerald said she wanted to stay by the warp.
“I’ll be fine.” She insisted, though it didn’t seem to reassure her. “I don’t really want to go through crowds anyways.”
Pearl nodded, before starting off.
And so, Emerald waited.
For a while it was quite peaceful, the only sign that other gems noticed her presence being that some nearby gave her slight glances of concern.
It made sense. She had run away through crowds a lot recently, it was only reasonable that others had seen.
She paced, taking deep breaths to keep herself grounded, as her nerves were still on edge after panicking.
“ It’s okay. ” She murmured to herself. “ Pearl will be back soon. Just keep breathing. ”
She continued to talk to herself, not hearing anyone approach until they spoke.
“Emerald.” Emerald suddenly went rigid, turning to nervously address a the fusion speaking to her.
“-Rhodonite!” There was a moment of stressed silence. “I- I’m sorry about earlier- I just-”
“What’s wrong?” Rhodonite pressed.
“N-nothing!” She said quickly.
“Why did you run?” It felt like the twins had materialized at random as one of them spoke.
“Guys-!” Emerald's nerves spiked as Fluorite, Lars, and Padparadscha arrived as well. She looked, but Rhodonite was (knowingly or not) blocking her way to the warp pad.
“You’re not telling us everything.” The other twin said surely.
“What… happened?” Fluorite asked.
“I-“ Emerald’s throat felt choked up, suddenly feeling surrounded and trapped by her own family.
“Emerald. Please .” Rhodonite asked again.
“Talk… to… us.” Fluorite added.
“Come on!” Padparadscha joined in.
“I…” Emerald’s thoughts began racing, her breaths quickening as she tried to keep from falling off the edge into panic again.
“We… might… be… able… to… help.”
“Guys, maybe we shouldn’t press this hard-” Lars butt in, but the others were far too persistent.
“Yeah! What happened earlier?” Padparadscha asked.
After another bout of continuous questions, Emerald snapped .
“I WAS HURT , OKAY!?”
The others went completely silent.
Emerald’s voice quieted, and she felt tears prick her eyes as she turned away from them, her hands tightening in her hair. “ …Badly .”
Her breaths were shaky. “…I lied . I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay.”
Her eyes were darting around, and she shut them tight.
“ I was shattered . I’ve been deformed what feels like hundreds of times for another gem’s enjoyment , and sometimes I still feel like my life is in danger even though I’m not trapped there anymore. ”
She began to shake, and in a desperate attempt to cling to reality her hands held her hair tighter.
It was painful , but in a way it was keeping her in the moment.
“ I’m scared of being alone. I’m scared that she’ll find me and hurt me again, I’m scared that someone else will hurt me the way she did .”
Tears began to flow, and she felt like she was starting to crumble at the edges.
“ It’s irrational , it’s insane , and yet I can’t let go! It’s a few months compared to thousands of years of my life, but it controls me! ”
She took a shaky breath. “… I ran because I didn’t know how to tell you that I’m not the same gem you knew. I’m just… broken . ”
She stopped talking, and there was only a stunned silence.
She desperately wanted to just hold on , but could feel herself slipping.
They stayed like that for a moment, until Padparadscha walked toward and looked up at her. Emerald could see through her blurred vision that the orange gem was crying as well.
“… We still love you. ”
It was those four words and the plain truth that they carried that caused Emerald to finally break down. She slumped to her knees, sobbing.
The rest carefully approached her, slowly closing in for a hug.
“ I’m sorry .” Rhodonite murmured. “ I’ll be better .”
“ We’re here for you .” One of the Rutiles said.
“- All of us .” Lars added.
“ You… don’t… have… to… be… alone .” Fluorite continued.
Emerald sniffed, tears still flowing down her cheeks. She clung tight to them, desperate for someone to hold on to, and to be held on to in turn as she crumbled to pieces.
Chapter 29: New Promises
Summary:
Emerald talks to the off-colors
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
When Emerald had finally calmed down, Pearl let the others know she needed some space. Emerald hadn’t seen her return, but she was grateful she had.
They backed away enough, and Pearl joined them as Emerald wiped her eyes.
She couldn’t look any of them in the eyes. She didn’t want to see the hurt they no doubt carried.
Padparadscha was the first one to speak, her voice quiet.
“ …Is that why you were uncomfortable when I hugged you? ”
Emerald hesitated, before nodding.
“Oh- and then I went and-“ Rhodonite’s hand covered her mouth with a small gasp, before she removed it with an ashamed look in her eyes. “…I’m so sorry.”
Emerald didn’t look up. “You didn’t know… I didn’t want you to know. I just can’t... do surprises anymore… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” Lars said firmly. “It’s not your fault.”
“For completely normal reasons…” One of the twins started, and the other one finished. “…Who’s the gem that hurt you?”
Emerald hugged herself tightly. “…As much as I appreciate it, You guys can’t go after her.”
“Why not?” One of the Rutiles asked.
Emerald took a shaky breath. “I… I don’t think I could live with myself if she hurt any of you.”
She felt a single tear trail down her cheek, and she reached up to wipe it away. “…I-I’m sorry, I guess I cry a lot more now too… I try not to. ” She clenched her hands in her lap.
Rhodonite softened. “It’s okay . Stars know we cried after you left.”
“Ruby and Pearl split up over it.” One of the Rutiles added.
Emerald’s eyes widened, and she looked at Rhodonite. “… I’m so sorry .”
She hadn’t ever met Ruby and Pearl. They were just that stable.
And her loss had broken them apart.
Rhodonite gave her a soft smile in return, though it didn’t reach her sad eyes. “No lasting harm done. I’m here now , aren’t I?”
“…And so are you.” Pearl added.
“I predict that Emerald will feel guilt over Pearl and Ruby unfusing.” Padparadscha stated firmly. “But Rhodonite won’t blame her in the slightest.”
Lars reached over and gave Padparadscha a pat on the head as Fluorite spoke. “None… of… us… will.”
After another moment, the orange gem looked over to her. “…Are hugs okay?”
Emerald wrung her hands, looking down again. “It depends on the moment. Just… not right now.”
“…Okay.” Padparadscha said after a moment.
They all sat in silence for a few moments. Eventually Rhodonite spoke. “…Do you want to go to the hill we slept on? It’s... quiet.”
Emerald looked away, hunching her shoulders slightly. “…no.”
She took a deep breath. “I’m going to go home for a while.”
“…Back to Homeworld?” Rhodonite asked nervously.
Emerald shook her head. “Homeworld… isn’t my home.”
“You’re leaving !?” Padparadscha cut in.
Emerald set a reassuring hand on her head. “…Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. But I just… I need some time.”
“Take all the time you need.” One of the Rutiles said.
“We’ll be here when you’re ready.” The other one added.
Fluorite smiled softly. “Take… all… the… time… you… need.”
“ …You have to promise to come back this time .” Padparadscha added quietly. Her voice was stable, the only sign of her hurt being the tightening of her hands into fists on her lap.
The gem’s eyes softened, and she gave Padparadscha a hug. “ …I promise .”
This time, she was going to keep it.
Notes:
Sorry for the wait for this chapter! I was sick (nothing serious, just felt like shit)
Glad to be back!!
Chapter 30: Home Again
Summary:
Emerald finally goes home again.
Chapter Text
The afternoon was relatively quiet, save for the rushing of the small waves breaking on the beach, and the crunching of the sand under the two gem’s feet.
Pearl was on her left as they walked, the sun starting to dip toward the ocean on her right, causing Emerald to squint slightly.
It could almost feel like a moment from the past, if it wasn’t for the fact that there was a distance between the two of them, when before they would always be closer.
“…Do you know if Amethyst is home?” Emerald asked casually.
She needed to apologize.
“She is.” Pearl confirmed.
Emerald nodded. “Good.” She didn’t expand, nor did Pearl ask.
They continued walking in silence, neither gems knowing what to say.
It had been a long day.
. . .
Nobody was home.
Pearl offered to stay with her, but Emerald declined, opting instead to pick up a book and sit in her favorite spot in the window.
Amethyst was the first one to return after them, but when she saw Emerald she frowned and continued toward the temple.
“ …wait .” Emerald expected Amethyst to keep walking, but she stopped. The multicolored gem moved to sit on the edge of the couch.
Amethyst’s voice had a biting edge to it. “What do you want?”
Emerald hesitated, the words difficult to say. “ …You were right. ”
She sighed. “ I need to stop lying to everyone and saying I’m fine when I’m not .”
Amethyst sighed, but said nothing, so Emerald continued.
“… I’m sorry I shoved you away .”
Silence reigned for a moment, before Amethyst finally turned to look at her. She still seemed frustrated, but it didn’t feel as directed at her.
The purple gem sighed again before speaking. “…I know. I just-” she took a rough breath. “-I’ve been dealing with Pearl doing this shit, and now you’re doing it.”
“ …I’m sorry. ” Emerald looked down, past Amethyst to the wooden floor beneath them.
“Listen.” Emerald looked up.
Amethyst had her arms crossed, but her eyes were softer. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. We all just want to help you, but you’re too thick-skulled to realize it.”
Emerald didn’t have the words to respond, but Amethyst continued regardless.
“Yelling was how I got through to Pearl. But I shouldn’t have done that with you. It was wrong. But you need to understand that we’ve all been where you are before. Even if it’s not your exact situation, we’ve all broken down before.”
Emerald rubbed an arm. “I know that, now. I’m sorry that part of it was my fault.”
“What are you talking about?”
“What you said- with Pearl -“
Amethyst’s eyes widened slightly, and she seemed to remember the comparison she made. Her tough exterior fizzled away a bit, and she glanced away, muttering to herself.
“… shit. ”
She looked up again, a slightly guilty look in her eyes.
“ Listen . I didn’t mean to bring that shit up. What happened with Pearl wasn’t your fault, she can just be… emotional , sometimes.”
Emerald didn’t respond. Amethyst walked over and sat next to her, but the gem avoided her eyes.
“C’mere you goober.” Amethyst opened her arms, and when Emerald accepted she hugged her firmly.
“What I’m trying to say is that don’t blame yourself for what happened. Okay?”
Emerald took a moment, still looking over Amethysts shoulder when she responded. “ …okay .”
Amethyst gave her a quick squeeze, before bidding goodnight and heading into the temple.
Emerald sat by herself again, looking out the window and wondering if she could stop blaming herself for everything.
. . .
Not much later, Steven arrived home as well. When he spotted Emerald sitting on the couch next to the window, he rushed in.
“Emerald! You’re home!” His smile was bright. She gave him a tired smile in return.
“I am.” She said surely.
Steven sat on the couch next to her, crossing his legs. “Pearl said you were staying with the other off-colors for a while, and when we saw you on the beach you were kinda…”
He trailed off, before picking it up again, although his voice was quieter. “ …I’m sorry you had to find out that way .”
Emerald glanced away. “It wasn’t your fault.”
She took a deep breath. “Pearl and I have talked about it.”
He nodded, then looked up at her with a small smile. “I’m glad you’re home.”
“Me too.” She said tiredly.
“What made you decide to come back?”
She glanced away again. “It’s… complicated.”
He looked at her with pleading eyes. “Try?”
Emerald was surprised, as usually the teenager wouldn’t press when someone gave him that answer.
Maybe he’d grown more than she thought in the months she’d been gone.
But she still didn’t know how to explain. Instead, she set a hand on his head, ruffling his hair. He laughed.
She gave him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Maybe tomorrow.”
“Okay…” He gave her a small smile in return.
Amethyst and Pearl came out of the temple, carrying blankets and pillows.
“Guys?” Steven asked.
Amethyst smiled bright. “ Steven ! Do you want to join our Slumber Party?”
“Yeah!” He said excitedly. Pearl looked at Emerald with a small smile. “Would you like to join us?”
Emerald smiled back. “Sure.”
“Don’t forget me.” Everyone looked, where Garnet had reached the top of the stairs.
“Slumber party!” Steven cheered.
They went up to Steven’s room, laying down the blankets and pillows on the floor.
Amethyst tossed her a stuffed creature that Emerald gently caught. She smiled at it.
She laid down next to Pearl, looking at the creature’s calm face.
She looked up and met Pearl’s eyes, the two of them quietly looking at one another for a moment.
Emerald was the one to break it, looking back down at the stuffed creature again.
She was tired, but scared to dream again.
Still, at some point during the night, she closed her eyes.
Chapter 31: Nightmares & Truths
Summary:
In the middle of his own, Steven enters Emerald’s nightmare.
They talk about it.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“PTSD dreams aren’t always exact replays of the event. Sometimes they replay the emotions you felt during the event, such as fear, helplessness, and sadness.”
-Alice Cariv
. . .
Steven looked up at the colorless figure, realizing he was sitting on her hand.
“White? What are you doing here?”
Suddenly she gripped him tight, and he felt washed in the fear of when she had pulled out her gem.
“Let go!”
He struggled out of her hand until she released him, but his moment of relief was gone when he looked down.
And then he was falling, unable to slow down, his powers not working.
He cried out for anyone to help, but suddenly his back hit something, though there was no pain.
The sky above him was pitch black, and he could see the tops of trees.
He was hit with the realization that he was in a dream. He sat up to look around, the panic of being trapped by White fading, if not completely gone.
He was in a starkly familiar forest, but as he stood up he heard a quiet voice echoing despite the low volume.
“ …No .”
“Emerald?” He pushed through the brush, seeing the gem with her back against a tree, Jasper standing over her.
“ Yes .” The large gem’s rough voice answered. “Now they know . They know just how useless you’ve become.”
Emerald was shaking, clearly scared. “No- I… they said they still love me.”
“You don’t deserve their love.” Jasper snarled.
“ YOU LEFT THEM!”
Jasper pushed her against the tree, gripping her shoulders tightly. “And as much as they say ‘it was alright’ you know you hurt them.”
“Emerald!” Steven cried, running toward them.
The gem turned her head. “Steven!?”
“LET GO OF HER!” He shouted.
He quickly summoned his shield between the two of them, before summoning another and throwing it at the large gem.
His shield hit her, and she disappeared in a cloud, no gem left behind.
Just a dream.
But not his.
“…Emerald?” He turned toward the gem, who was still leaning against the tree.
“ Steven… ?” She asked quietly.
“Are you okay?” He asked. She looked away for a moment, seeming to struggle with the fact of what was going on.
Then she seemed to realize something. She looked him in the eye, and he could see distress on her face. Her hand went up to her mouth in shock.
Her voice was shaking. “Why are you here?”
“What?” He asked genuinely.
“What are you doing here?” She asked firmly.
He didn’t understand. “I-I think I’m in your dream, but Emerald-”
Emerald’s eyes widened sharply, and suddenly everything went black.
. . .
Steven sat up quickly. Looking around, Emerald was nowhere to be found.
He glanced out the glass door, seeing her sitting on the beach on her own.
He used his powers to float down the stairs quietly, grabbing his sandals before going down to where she sat with her knees pulled into her chest.
He crossed his legs, sitting down quietly next to her and hesitating before speaking. “…Are you okay?”
Emerald leaned her head on her knees. “ …no .”
When she looked up again, there was a wet sheen to her eyes. “ …I haven’t really been okay for a long time. ”
Steven hesitated again, before looking up to her. “Is there… Anything I can do?”
Her eyes softened at him, before glancing away. “…no. I’m sorry.”
They sat in silence for a moment, before Steven looked down at his stomach, where he knew his gem lay.
“ …Can you keep a secret from the others? ” He asked awkwardly, his voice lowering. “ I just… I don't know how to tell them yet. ”
“Of course.”
Steven clutched his shirt over his gem, “ ...I’ve had nightmares since I got home too. They’re usually of White Diamond. ”
His voice became shaky. “ She… took my gem out of me. ”
Emerald’s eyes softened. Steven continued, looking out at sea. “ It was so terrifying . I thought I was going to die , I nearly did . But when the gem reformed, it wasn’t mom. It was a pink version of me .”
Emerald gently offered an arm, and he moved over to sit next to her so she could put it around him.
Steven refrained from leaning against her side after the memory he witnessed. “ …And even though the diamonds are better now, I’m still afraid .”
Emerald looked out at sea, though her eyes were unfocused. “…I don’t think it’s possible to be unafraid of the ones who’ve hurt us . ”
“ What can we do? ” He asked quietly. Emerald took a moment to think.
She sighed deeply. “…I don’t know. I can just not sleep, but I don’t know how to help you.”
He sighed. “I don’t either.”
The sky was lighter now, and the sun began to peek over the horizon. Emerald winced slightly, squinting her eyes at it.
“Let’s go back inside.” He said. “The others will wanna know where we are.”
She nodded. “Let’s.”
The two walked back inside, and Steven held her hand.
Or she held his.
It hardly mattered.
They both needed it.
Notes:
Sorry this chapter took so long to come out! There were a few details I was struggling with, but it’s here!
I like meaningful quotes, so I thought I would try out connecting them to my chapters! Let me know if y’all hate it and want me to stop.
Chapter 32: Hiking
Summary:
Emerald goes for a hike with Kiki.
Chapter Text
“We can hide things away.
But we can’t forget.”
-Unknown
. . .
Emerald’s life fell into normalcy, or as normal as it could be.
She had quiet days at home, filled with reading and books, as well as calm and sleepless nights.
Every once in a while Nanefua would come by for a chat and some tea. Sometimes she brought the girls along with her, and Emerald got to know the two of them better.
She did sometimes feel a bit lonely, but she didn’t really know how to express that to anyone.
At least most of the time she had Cat Steven.
Today she was reading a book about earth creatures, and was particularly fascinated by the various winged ones. She learned that the loud white creatures outside were called birds , specifically Seagulls .
She looked up when she heard someone on the stairs, and after a moment Kiki reached the top, knocking on the door and smiling brightly when Emerald opened it. “Hey! I was wondering if you were home.”
Emerald smiled lightly. “I’m always home.”
Kiki took a few breaths before continuing, clearly having jogged her way to the Beach House, which was no surprise considering that it was the teenager’s favorite activity. “…Exactly why I’m here! You wanna go for a hike?”
Emerald thought for a moment, before deciding she could finish her book later.
“Alright.” She said simply.
. . .
The two walked along the beach, before traveling in the opposite direction of the fields, into Beach City Woods, which had a hiking trail.
As they walked, Emerald thought to try to start a conversation.
“How’s Fish Stew Pizza doing?” She asked simply.
Kiki shrugged. “Pretty good, I mean, this one guy who called, and for some reason he was singing ? Anyway he asked for so many toppings that were just weird, and he had all these allergies, honestly I think it was just a prank call.”
She went on to talk about a few other strange customers she’d had in the few years since she’d started working. Emerald listened as she talked, unsure if it would be rude to interrupt or say something.
“What about you?” Kiki asked suddenly, pulling Emerald’s attention back.
“Me?”
“Yeah. You got a job?”
Emerald shrugged lightly, a gesture she had picked up from Steven to mean ‘I don’t know.’ “No, I don’t think I would be good at any human jobs.”
Kiki smiled regardless. “Maybe you should come by and try it out sometime. I’ll show you how to make a pizza!”
“Alright.” Emerald said with a small smile, although she was still looking at everything around them.
Kiki paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Yknow, something about nature is so calming.”
Emerald opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a rusting in the bushes.
For a moment she tensed, the sound associated with bad memories, but her nerves ceased out of surprise when an off-white cat stuck its head out of the bush.
Kiki smiled, turning to her. “I don’t remember having wild cats around here!”
Emerald blinked at the creature. “Steven told me they found Cat Steven and other cats here.”
Kiki softened, turning back to the cat. “How sad! No one to take care of the poor things.”
She seemed to think for a moment, before smiling down at the small cat. “Maybe we should take them back!”
As if it understood, the creature backed away, scampering into the brush again.
“ Aww… ” Kiki groaned out of disappointment.
Kiki looked up, before her head was drawn to the right, where the branches of the trees and bushes had been broken violently in the shape of a large creature.
“Woah. What came through here?” Kiki asked, setting her hands on her hips.
Looking at the mass of broken branches more than twice their height, Emerald’s chest tightened.
. . .
“Kiki, maybe we should go.” Emerald said suddenly, her voice slightly stressed.
“Why?” The teen asked plainly.
She saw as Emerald’s eyes darted across the branches. “There could be a corrupted gem nearby.”
“Oh, really? Is that what made these?” Kiki asked, looking back at the shape.
“Most likely.” Emerald responded.
Kiki squinted at them, before smiling. “Wait, no, these are too old!”
“What?” Emerald asked, her eyes tearing away from the broken branches.
“Look, see?” Kiki pointed out some of the branches at their eye level, although Emerald was slightly taller than her. They were starting to bud, growing back. “ New branches are sprouting, which means it’s been months since they were broken!”
That hardly seemed to console the gem, who looked away and worried her hands slightly. “Alright, if you’re sure it’s safe…”
“I’m sure!” Kiki said confidently.
Then her eyes were drawn back toward the brush, and she began to walk through the hole left behind, hearing Emerald follow as the two left the path.
The months-old carnage of the forest eventually broke into a clearing, and Kiki’s eyes widened.
In her wonder, she didn’t hear Emerald's breath hitch behind her.
She then jogged over to a giant boulder on the opposite edge of the clearing, running her hands through the long gashes.
“ Woah … Must’ve been big .” She said in awe, as her entire hand could fit inside the gash without touching the edges.
After a few moments, Emerald walked past her and to the brush. “We can go home this way.” She said simply, although she wasn’t looking at Kiki, her eyes trained on the ground.
“What? But Beach city is in the other direction…”
Emerald pulled the scant remains of a bush out of the way, revealing a ruined building, and a smooth blue surface that Kiki had only seen a few times briefly as she delivered pizzas to Steven.
“ Woah … What is it?” She asked in awe. Emerald responded simply.
“A warp pad. We can use it to get back to Beach City faster than walking.”
Kiki turned. “How did you know this was here?” She asked brightly.
Emerald didn’t respond. The gem’s head was bowed, and tilted at an angle where Kiki couldn’t see half her face, and the rest was covered in a slight shadow.
“ …Emerald ?” She asked softly.
At the sound of her name the gem snapped out of it, lifting her head. “Oh! I uh… I’ve just been to this one before.”
She wouldn’t meet Kiki’s eyes.
“Alright! How does it work?”
. . .
The two stepped onto the warp pad, and Emerald activated it.
“ Woah .” Kiki said in awe, as they were surrounded by light.
Emerald didn’t respond, her mind too occupied with heavy thoughts.
When they arrived, the two walked out of the warp pad dome and onto the deck.
“Do you need me to walk you home?” Emerald asked, as the sun was getting lower in the sky.
Kiki shrugged. “Nah, I’m almost eighteen! I’ll be fine walking home on my own.”
Emerald nodded, although she didn’t quite understand how eighteen was so old to humans.
“As long as you’re sure.”
. . .
Emerald watched as Kiki jogged along the beach, before the human turned and gave one last wave toward the beach house before continuing on.
Then the gem sighed, before going into the house, and sitting on the couch, holding her knees to her chest and setting her head on them.
She wasn’t breaking down or panicking, but her mind was upset and sad at remembering, with a hint of confusion.
Confusion, at why everything about her life seemed to connect back to everything that hurt her, and how it all seemed determined to make sure that she never forgot.
Chapter 33: Ella
Summary:
The gems make a new friend.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Pearl hummed softly as she wiped the counter, wanting to keep the kitchen clean. Today had been rather usual, seeing old friends, reliving good times, and coming home to Emerald reading a book in the windowsill.
At some point Amethyst interrupted her train of though, the purple gem’s voice confused, “Uhhhhh… guys?” …Since when did we have two cats?”
“What?” Pearl asked, turning from the kitchen. Sure enough, Cat Steven and another cat she’d never seen were sitting on the stairs, with the former seemingly unbothered by the stranger.
“Huh.” Steven said simply, looking over from where he had started a puzzle. “How did she get in here?”
Emerald looked up from where she was reading a book, and upon seeing the cat she set it down, walking over.
“ It’s you. ” She murmured simply.
“You know this cat?” Amethyst asked her.
Emerald didn’t look at her, continuing to look at the creature. “I saw her when I was out for a hike with Kiki earlier. She must’ve followed us onto the warp pad.”
She gently reached out a hand, and after the cat sniffed it, it began rubbing its head into her hand. She smiled. “… Hello again .”
“Since now.”
Everyone looked to where Garnet had spoken, her face it’s usual calm, though with a slight smile.
“Huh?” Amethyst asked questioningly. Garnet adjusted her visor, giving reference to her future vision.
“Since now, we have two cats. My future vision tells me that she stays.” She said with a big smile.
Amethyst shrugged, but Steven walked over next to where Emerald was now petting the cat.
“What should we name her?” He asked. When no one responded, everyone looked to Emerald.
After the gem realized she was being stared at, her hand paused. “ Uh… ”
“You found her!” Steven said with a smile. Emerald turned back to the cat, before resuming scratching behind its ear.
The gem smiled lightly, and Pearl had a passing wonder of what was going through her head before she spoke.
“ …Ella .”
Notes:
Sorry the chapter took so long to post! I got a new desk for my room, and had to do a lot of room cleaning, which didn’t leave a lot of time to write!
The reason Emerald chose Ella was after Cinderella, her favorite fairy tale.
The reason she likes Cinderella in particular is because Cinderella runs away at midnight because she’s scared that no one will love her when they see what she really looks like, and Emerald can relate (with her “broken” mind, not specifically with how she sees her form). Cinderella is also shown to be loved for who she really is, and Emerald really wants to believe the same.
Chapter 34: Rain & Thunder
Summary:
Ella is adorable.
It also starts to storm.
Chapter Text
“I have felt cats rubbing their faces against mine and touching my cheek with claws carefully sheathed. These things, to me, are expressions of love.”
-James Herriot
. . .
The next day as usual, the others headed off while Emerald stayed home.
But this time, she had new company.
Steven had cleaned Ella, showing a fluffy white cat with light brown undertones on her back and tail, and small brown stripes on her face next to sharp green eyes.
Right now Ella had somehow climbed the bookshelves, laying on a shelf with her front foot hanging off the edge and her tail twitching lightly.
Spotting one of her favorite books Emerald reached up for it, but her hand came short.
For a moment she wished she knew how to shapeshift, before she had to quickly catch the book out of the air when it fell.
She managed to grab it, and when she looked up she saw Ella looking down from where it was.
Emerald couldn’t help but laugh lightly, wondering if Ella was helping or if she was just knocking things off the shelf, as Cat Steven did for attention.
Ella hopped down off the shelf and for a moment Emerald panicked, but the cat landed perfectly on the couch on all fours.
Emerald let out a breath, before giving Ella a scratch behind the ear. “Thank you.”
She walked over to sit in her spot next to the window, but when she sat parallel to the glass, Ella jumped up onto her lap, before going limp.
“Ella-!?” Emerald dropped her book, picking up the cat to make sure she wasn’t dead.
Ella looked back at her, tilting her head and letting out a small meow.
Emerald exhaled, setting Ella back on her lap and picking up her book.
She had only read out loud once before with Pearl, but it didn’t hurt to practice.
Ella stayed on her lap and listened as she spoke, although both beings looked out the window when rain began to fall softly, pattering on the deck outside and making a noise.
Emerald set her book down when she couldn’t focus on it, starting to scratch Ella behind the ear to steady the nerves that rain always brought.
She watched as the storm increased and the waves outside swelled, rising as if reaching for the sky before falling back among their own.
Then she saw a flash of light streak the sky, small and faint against the horizon.
For a moment she stared at where it was, before thunder that almost seemed to shake the house occurred, startling her and causing her to flinch.
The thunder repeated at a lower pitch, and Emerald felt her breaths quicken.
Her eyes began to dart around, seeking something , but the shadows themselves seemed to hide infinite awful possibilities, and she felt a familiar panic building.
“ No- not right now- “ she was home by herself, having nowhere to run, which was always her first reaction.
She shut her eyes tight, trying to breathe, but her breaths were spiking, her chest was tightening, and despite not needing oxygen she felt dizzy.
Her attention was drawn back however, when Ella, still in her lap, began nuzzling her head into her chest and making a smaller rumbling sound.
But this sound wasn’t terrifying.
It was almost… calming .
Emerald took shaking breaths, stroking gently down Ella’s spine to ground herself in this moment.
Eventually she was calmer, though still on-edge.
“ Thank you .” She murmured in between deep breaths, unknowing if the creature could understand.
Ella seemed to have some knowledge, as she mewled softly, looking up at Emerald for a moment, before nuzzling her head into her hand for more head scratches.
. . .
Everyone else was home soon enough, soaked through and rushing inside.
Pearl grabbed towels from the closet, before giving one to each of them.
“Some storm.” Steven commented as the four of them wrapped themselves in the fluffy towels.
Garnet frowned, her towel much too small to fit. “ I’m cold .” The fusion muttered, and in a flash of light and four looks of surprise Ruby and Sapphire had replaced her.
Sapphire hugged Ruby around the neck, the latter chuckling lightly.
“You’re always cold.” Ruby commented with a sly grin, wrapping their towel around sapphire’s shoulders before giving her a hug.
“Ruby! Sapphire!” Steven said with a bright smile, joining in their hug.
“Hello Steven.” Sapphire said. The blue gem turned her head, resting it on ruby’s chest. She looked to Emerald, before speaking. “Are you alright?”
Emerald didn’t look over as she responded, eyes focusing on the sweet way Ella nuzzled her hand. “ …Mhm. Thanks to this one .”
“I’m going to go find Cat Steven.” Steven said, breaking off from the hug and toweling off his hair. “She hates thunder.”
“ Me too .” Emerald said absentmindedly, as Steven went up the stairs to change and find Cat Steven.
Amethyst and Pearl exchanged a look she didn’t catch, before Ruby interrupted the semi-silence by picking up sapphire bridal style, carrying the laughing gem to the couch to snuggle together.
Amethyst sat on the main couch herself, but Pearl came over to the window couch, and Emerald moved to sit with her back facing the window to make room, Ella not leaving her lap.
Pearl fingered the edge of her towel for a moment, before breaking the silence. “… What happened? ”
Emerald sighed. “… What else? The thunder sounds like… ” she trailed off, shaking her head lightly and decidedly changing her words. “ …It doesn’t matter. Ella helped pull me out of it. ”
The thunder rumbled again outside, and Emerald shut her eyes for a moment, hoping that they didn’t see the way her shoulders were still shaking.
“Sorry we weren’t here.” Amethyst commented.
“Yeah.” Ruby added.
“ It’s okay .” Emerald said, for once managing to not add on the lie of saying she was fine.
Instead she opted to say something more true, or at least something she hoped could be.
“… I’ll be okay. ”
Chapter Text
“This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.”
-Stitch ( Lilo & Stitch )
. . .
The storm lasted overnight and halfway through the next day, and when it had finally halted, the others talked about going back.
Emerald encouraged them to go, as they had important things to do with the various gems.
She spent a quiet day at home, reading with Ella and Cat Steven by her side.
Until she heard someone on the stairs early, and She saw Steven enter the house along with Garnet.
Garnet said nothing, Sitting down on the couch and picking up a magazine.
“You’re home early. Did something happen?” Emerald asked, setting down her book.
“Actually…” Steven said, twiddling his thumbs and glancing away. “…The off-colors wanted to come visit, but I wanted to check with you first.”
Emerald looked out the window, seeing the others along with Lars down on the beach. She took a deep breath, before standing up, setting Ella down on the ground.
“Alright.”
She left Steven and Garnet inside the house, walking down the stairs. Upon seeing her the others visibly brightened.
“Hi.” She said when she was close enough.
“How… are you doing?” One of the rutiles asked.
“Good.” She responded simply.
Rhodonite glanced away, before looking at her hopefully. “Would you like to sit on the beach with us?”
Emerald smiled slightly. “Sure.”
. . .
“Did you hear the sky cracking yesterday?” One of the rutiles asked.
Emerald nodded.
“Fluorite thought it was going to fall on us.” The other one added.
“In… my… defense…, it… was… very… loud.” Fluorite said with a smile.
Rhodonite glanced over at where Emerald was seeming a little down, before speaking, smiling softly to encourage. “Hey. We managed, right?”
Padparadscha had been relatively quiet, but now she played with the edge of her bright orange dress as she hesitantly spoke. “ …Emerald? ”
“Hm?”
“…I want to ask a question, but I’m not sure if it’s insensitive.” She said after a moment.
“It’s alright.” Emerald said.
She waited a moment, but Padparadscha’s nervousness didn’t seem to go away.
“….Does… being corrupted ever… hurt ?”
Emerald hesitated, unsure what kind of hurt the gem meant, before deciding to go with the easiest answer to explain.
While she spoke she drew in the sand. Not to emphasize her words, but to do something with her hands.
“…No. Not physically. It’s almost like nothing has changed in that sense, until I see my reflection or look at the sky.”
She drew sharp lines in the damp sand, her mind wandering slightly.
She neglected to mention the monsters and shards in her nightmares, and the new triggers from sounds and feelings related to what happened.
“Look at the sky?” One of the Rutiles asked.
Emerald sighed lightly. “…I’m not quite sure how , or why , but the sun, moon, and stars are brighter now.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle lightly under her breath, before looking up at where the sky had begun to take on the colors of sunset, darkening just enough to see faint points of light, so dim that she was sure everyone else would find them completely invisible.
“Although, I’m being honest, I don’t mind that part. It can be a reminder that even if every other part of the sky is dark, there’s still light. Even if no one else can see it.”
There was silence, until Lars spoke. “Deep.”
Emerald looked down at her drawing in the sand, then at the lapping waves merely a few arms-lengths away, and felt whatever spark of joy had filled her dim.
“ But of course, the sky is always covered by clouds and storms. ” She mumbled, swiping her hand over whatever she had drawn to erase it, before pulling her hand back.
The six of them fell into silence, the rest unsure over how they could respond.
Emerald stared at the sand for a moment, before her head turned when she heard small light footsteps on wood.
She saw an off-white cat trotting across the beach toward them, and she smiled softly. Her eyes raised slightly, seeing Garnet giving her a thumbs up from the deck, before going back inside.
Emerald silently thanked the fusion for knowing who exactly could make her feel better.
As Ella came closer, the other off-colors (except for Lars) started freaking out.
“What is that !?” Rhodonite asked, backing away.
Fluorite took a few steps back, as though the tiny Ella might attack at any moment.
Emerald gently held out a hand, and Ella rubbed her head against it before sitting down for head scratches. “This is Ella.”
“You guys have a cat?” Lars asked.
“Two.” Emerald responded.
“I predict that an adorable fluffy creature will approach us!” Padparadscha suddenly said, a bright smile on her face.
“Does it… attack ?” One of the Rutiles asked cautiously.
“Not from what I’ve seen.” Emerald said, although she couldn’t know.
She gently picked Ella up, laughing lightly as the cat went limp in her arms. She couldn’t help but think that the strange habit was adorable.
“You can pet her, but you have to be gentle.” She said, setting Ella on her lap.
She showed them how to gently stroke Ella's back, and each did so in turn, with Fluorite practically sweating as she tried to be extra gentle.
Padparadscha seemed to love her, and Emerald showed the gem how to hold her, and let her do so, before Padparadscha handed her back when she was done.
Lars opted to not pet her, saying something about his experiences with his grandma’s nasty cat making him try to avoid them.
Afterwards they all sat quietly, and Emerald scratched behind Ella’s ear absentmindedly.
Rhodonite seemed to be hesitant, before glancing away and asking what was on her mind.. “ …Emerald? ”
“Yeah?”
“Could I… hold you ?” She asked awkwardly. She continued looking away, knowing how strange of a question it was. “It’s just- it’s been a long time, and we’ve only seen you a few times, and it’s okay if not-“
“Alright.”
Emerald moved closer, sitting in Rhodonite’s lap with Ella on her own, the cat purring softly.
Rhodonite gently held her close, and after a moment looked as though she was on the verge of tears.
“ Are you okay ?” One of the Rutiles asked quietly.
Rhodonite wiped her eyes with a Ruby arm, smiling softly. “I just… I still can’t believe that any of this is real.”
“I… don’t… think… any… of… us… can.” Fluorite said with a smile.
Padparadscha moved to sit next to Rhodonite, pulling Lars by the hand to sit on her other side. The Rutiles sat on Rhodonite’s other side, leaning against her shoulder. Fluorite half-wrapped around them all, leaving a nice view of where the sun was getting closer to the sea.
“Look!” Padparadscha said, pointing up to the sky suddenly.
The six of them looked up, seeing the stars begin to show above them.
“It’s so beautiful.” One of the Rutiles said.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.” The other added.
“Me neither.” Emerald said.
“Could any of you see the sky when you were down there?” Lars asked.
“Glimpses… so…. Small,… they… might…. As… well… be… non-… -existent.” Fluorite said with a smile.
“Really makes you appreciate the beauty of it now though, right?” Rhodonite asked.
Emerald smiled, taking a deep breath. “…Right.”
. . .
(Extra)
Eventually the others decided to go back for the night, and Emerald waved goodbye.
Then she walked back into the house, Ella in hand.
She kept her back turned to the five indents in the sand, and the half-wiped away drawing of a monster that she left to be washed away by the tide.
Notes:
I loved writing this chapter so much, and I hope y’all enjoyed it too!
Chapter 36: Nights
Summary:
Steven has a nightmare.
Emerald helps him.
Pearl leaves the temple and sees them.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“there is two
types of tired,
I suppose
one is a dire need of sleep
the other is a dire need of peace”
-Unknown
. . .
Sometimes it felt too dark to read at night, and Emerald didn’t feel like grabbing a flashlight. Those nights, she would look up at the stars while Ella slept in her lap or watched with her.
Such was tonight, as she looked at the points of multicolored light and thought about what she wanted to do.
Now that she wasn’t constantly scared for her survival, she found herself feeling like an added burden.
She sighed, looking down to where Ella was napping on her lap, taking a moment away from her thoughts to admire the ball of fluff as she slept.
She was snapped out of the sweet moment when she heard a thud coming from upstairs, from Steven’s room.
“ Steven -!?”
Worried he was being kidnapped again, she set Ella down and ran up the stairs, finding Steven on the floor next to his bed, crying out while he slept.
Emerald hesitated nervously, but before she could decide what to do he snapped awake, sitting up quickly as tears started falling.
“ Steven ..?”
She moved closer, and Steven quickly hugged her, burying his face in her shirt.
Emerald wrapped her arms over him, holding him close. He clung tight, and she did her best to ignore her discomfort for the sake of helping him calm down.
“ Breathe, Steven .” She murmured as he trembled. “ …I’ve got you. ”
. . .
Eventually he began to calm down, and his sobs went down to sniffles. His grip loosened, but he didn’t move.
“ Steven? ” She asked softly. He fully let go, sitting back on his own.
“ I-I’m sorry- “ he stammered. “ I… White… ” he trailed off, but she remembered what he had said before about the Diamond.
“ Come on. ” She offered her arms, and he gratefully hugged her. She stood, picking him up as easily as she would Padparadscha, before bringing him downstairs.
She set the teen on the couch, before warming a glass of milk for him. Nanefua had once told her how it had worked for her son, and now that Jenny had taught her how to use a microwave, it wasn’t hard to do so.
“ Are you alright? ” She asked as he took a sip.
“… I don’t want to go back to sleep .” He whispered surely after a moment.
“ You can stay down here with me if you’d like. ” She offered.
Both Ella and Cat Steven were awake, the two of them sitting on the floor together.
Emerald sat down on the edge of the couch, her back to the window.
Steven set down the empty glass on the counter, before walking over to her.
“ …Can I sit on your lap? ”
“ Sure .” She moved to sit with her back to the corner wall. He climbed up, sitting on her lap and leaning against her chest and looking out the window.
Eventually Steven seemed to start to nod off again, and Emerald spoke quietly.
“ Would you like me to take you back upstairs ?”
“… Can we stay like this for just a few more minutes? ” Steven mumbled in return.
“ Of course we can. ”
She began rubbing a circle on his hand with her thumb, looking out the window and feeling conflicted.
Seeing Steven like this…
It hurt , and it couldn’t help but make the gem wonder if everyone else felt hurt when it was herself in this situation, adding to her already growing feelings of being a burden.
. . .
It was too quiet at night.
Pearl had had a hard time adjusting, not used to having the dark hours to herself. She had managed thus far, but it was only so many times she could reorganize her swords before it became boring.
Thinking she could go see what the uncorrupted gems were up to, she made her way down from her pools of water and out of the temple.
When she opened the door, Emerald was leaning against the wall, siting sideways on the couch facing the window, with Steven asleep in her arms.
Pearl stepped back, planning to go back into the temple and let the two of them sleep and visit the gems tomorrow, before Emerald spoke softly.
“… I’m not sleeping .”
Pearl paused where she stood, but Emerald didn’t turn, continuing to look out the window. “ Steven had a nightmare. I told him if he had another I would wake him .”
Pearl slowly walked toward them, and she couldn’t tell if Emerald was looking out the window, or looking at their reflections.
“ Do you know what caused it? ” She asked.
Emerald glanced down at the sleeping teen, worrying her lip. “ …maybe .”
She sighed. “ But he asked me not to talk about it. ”
Pearl nodded in understanding. “ Do you want me to watch over him so you can sleep? ”
“ I’m alright… I don’t… sleep anymore. ”
Emerald half turned, and Pearl could see the soft glow of her eye in the low light as she looked down.
“ What happened? ”
“ …nightmares of my own. ”
Pearl worried her hands slightly as she spoke. “ Do you… want to talk about it? ”
“ …No .” Emerald whispered with a sigh.
“ Can I… sit with you? ” Pearl decided to ask.
Emerald nodded.
Pearl moved to sit next to her, shoulder to shoulder. A groggy Ella hopped up on the cushion by her ankles, before walking the length of the couch next to Pearl’s leg to settle lazily in her lap.
Pearl smiled, gently stroking the cat down the back as she fell asleep rather quickly.
Cat Steven hopped up by her feet, laying down where she was and watching the gems and Steven with an attentive eye.
Pearl had a passing wonder if the cats watched over them in shifts, before Emerald spoke softly next to her.
“… I’m so tired .” The gem murmured, bowing her head slightly and closing her eyes.
“ You can sleep if you want. I’ll be here. ” Pearl offered, knowing that even if gems didn’t need sleep, the feeling of needing it was something they could get.
Emerald took a slightly shaky breath, before shaking her head. “ I want to, but… I’m scared . My nightmares are so… vivid .”
Her shoulders dropped slightly, and her eyes seemed to be focusing on something in her mind rather than outside it. “ I just… can’t .”
“ Then don’t .” Pearl said surely. She did her best to give a reassuring smile. “ I’ll sit here with you anyway, if it’s alright with you .”
Emerald’s eyes softened, and she glanced away as her cheeks darkened slightly. “ Thank you. ”
There was a moment of silence before Pearl spoke again.
“ …may I? ” She gestured her intent, and Emerald seemed to think it over for a moment before responding.
“ Mhm .”
Pearl gently put her arm around her waist, and Emerald moved to lean her head against her shoulder, letting out a deep breath and closing her eyes.
She wasn’t sleeping, things like breath and slight movement told Pearl that much, but she was calm.
The five of them sat like that all night, just having each other’s company and safety until light dawned on the world once more.
Notes:
Sorry for the late chapter!
Chapter 37: Hero
Summary:
Emerald decides she’s ready to train again.
Steven and Pearl help her get her weapon back.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.”
-Umberto Eco
. . .
At some point during the night, Cat Steven had climbed onto Pearl’s lap as well, and the two cats curled up next to each other as they slept.
The two gems had stayed awake all night, and as the sun started to rise from the horizon, Emerald spoke softly.“ Pearl… ?”
“ Hm? ” Pearl responded, looking down to where Emerald still had her head against her shoulder.
“ Do you think… ?” She trailed off for a moment, before changing her words. “ I know that there’s no corrupted gems anymore. But… would you still teach me to fight? I just… ”
She trailed off again, not knowing how to explain her need to have use .
But despite that, Pearl seemed to understand.
“ Of course I will. ”
. . .
The two gems decided to get up, the cats waking as well when Pearl tried to move. She gave each of them a scratch behind the ear, before getting up fully.
Steven continued sleeping, and Pearl set him down on the other couch, draping a blanket over him so he could sleep for a few more hours.
She started bringing out the ingredients to make him pancakes as a surprise breakfast, but paused when she heard Emerald speak softly.
“… Thank you. ”
The gem was just standing, looking out the large windows.
“ For what? ” Pearl asked.
Emerald chuckled under her breath, before turning her head so Pearl could see the smile on her face.
“What haven’t you done for me? All of you… you’ve given me a second… no… Third chance at life now.”
She looked back toward the window, crossing her arms gently. “ Even if I’ve been alive for thousands of years, and only shattered half of one ago… I’ll be honest. ”
Emerald ducked her head, wiping the heel of her hand over her eye.
“ I thought I was dead long before that. ”
She sighed, crossing her arms again.
“ Every day I have a hard time believing this life is real. Like any moment I’ll open my eyes, and I’ll be on Homeworld again, all this imagined. ”
Pearl set down the bag of flour she had in hand, walking to stand next to her, smiling softly.
“ Sometimes I can’t believe it either. ” She said, glancing over at Steven, before looking at Emerald for a moment, then looking back out the window, where outside the ocean calmly met the beach in small waves.
She absentmindedly offered a hand, and Emerald took it. “ …But this is real . ” She finished.
Emerald tilted her head slightly, smiling, although it didn’t quite reach the sadness her eyes carried.
“ I know. ” The multicolored gem whispered. “ And it’s wonderful... ”
Then she ducked her head again, sighing deeply. Her shoulders relaxed, and her smile faltered before slowly disappearing completely.
“ …I just wish I had gotten here another way. ”
Pearl gently squeezed her hand in reassurance.
“ Me too. ”
You’re too wonderful for all this pain. She wanted to say, but some part of her mind kept her from saying it out loud.
. . .
Later on, Steven was enjoying his pancakes, and Garnet and Amethyst were sitting on the couch, Garnet doing a puzzle.
“Do you want to go now?” Pearl asked Emerald from where she was standing in the kitchen, having finished cleaning up any mess from cooking.
“Go where?” Steven asked, after swallowing a bite of breakfast.
“Emerald and Pearl are going to go train.” Garnet said by way of explanation.
“Alright.” He shrugged.
“Do you think I could use one of your swords?” Emerald asked as Pearl approached her. “I don’t know what happened to my weapon after…well. You know. ”
“We know where it is!” Steven said suddenly.
“Really?”
“Yeah!” Steven jumped out of his chair, going to the balcony.
“ LIIIIIIIOOOOOON !” He called out, and after a moment, the pink creature walked through a portal of light to greet him.
“Hey, buddy!” Steven said, giving Lion a leftover pancake after they met him on the beach. “Can you take us to the cave?”
. . .
Emerald held onto Pearl’s waist as they launched through the portal, afraid of what would happen if she fell off.
She had been on Lion once before, but then she had Garnet behind her. Now, it was just the three of them.
Lion skidded across the water, before coming to a stop and walking over to a stone staircase.
The three beings got off, and Lion laid down on the water to wait.
When they climbed the short steps, they stood on a large stone circle with a small pedestal in the middle, inside of a cave full of sharp bits of rock sticking up and down from the ground and ceiling.
Pearl had told her about this place, and what it was used for. She had said it once belonged to Rose, and they kept certain items as well as training devices here.
Steven set his hand on the pedestal, before poking himself on the arm.
Almost instantly a bit on the edge of the stone circle rose, and Emerald could see where a bunch of weapons were lined up neatly, a familiar green glaive in the center.
She stepped forward, gently taking it.
“… Don’t these all belong to heros from the war? ” She asked softly, running her other hand along the staff. “ Why is mine here? ”
“ You were shattered saving Steven .” Pearl said softly. When Emerald turned to look at her, there was a soft look on her face, and a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “ I’d consider that heroic. ”
Emerald felt a tear at the corner of her eye, and she wiped it away with the heel of her hand.
“I…”
She couldn’t find the words to explain how the words made her feel.
“She looked at the staff again, concentrating, before -as gently as she could- swinging it over her back.
It disappeared in motes of light as it made contact with her gem, and she took a moment to look at her empty hand.
“Ready to go?” Steven asked, setting his hands on his hips.
Emerald turned back to the both of them, smiling softly. “ …yeah .”
Notes:
Welcome back to the 3:00am posting Shifty!!! 💀👍
It’s been a while.
Chapter Text
“How much do you remember?” Pearl asked.
The two of them were at the ruins of the sky arena, and Emerald had pulled out her glaive again.
“I’m not sure…”
“Want to try it out?”
“Alright.”
Pearl summoned a hologram of herself, before cutting it off. “ Polearm. Basic mode. ” She commanded, tossing it an unbladed staff.
“ Do you wish to engage in combat? ” The hologram asked, holding the staff at the ready.
Emerald took a deep breath, before holding her glaive the way she remembered. “…Yes.”
“ Block! Block! Strike! ” The hologram commanded, doing each action as said. Emerald countered each move, turning her glaive when necessary.
. . .
It continued for a few hours in the same fashion, and Emerald tried to focus on where the hologram would strike to counter it.
At some point she saw an opening, so after its next strike she spun her glaive in a full circle, managing to cut its shoulder.
It froze, glitching slightly. “ Basic mode defeated. ”
“Good job!” Pearl said with a smile, clapping quickly and enthusiastically.
“ Do you wish to duel again? ” The hologram asked.
“No.” Emerald said simply, putting her weapon away.
Pearl dissipated the hologram, putting the spare staff in her gem.
“You’re doing so well!” She said with a smile.
“ Thank you. ”
Emerald smiled in return, taking a few deep breaths and setting her hand on her hip. She was tired even though it had only been a few hours, a thin sheen of sweat on her skin.
“Are you alright?” Pearl asked.
“ Just tired, is all. ”
Pearl clapped her hands together once, giving a nervous smile. “Ah! Right, I forget you’re not as used to combat as we are.”
I didn’t used to be so tired all the time. Emerald wanted to say, but refrained from doing so. It would only turn the nice moment sour, and there was no need for that.
“Good work.”
Emerald and Pearl turned, seeing Garnet had appeared on the sidelines. She gave them a thumbs up, and Emerald smiled.
“What do you think?” The fusion asked, setting her hand down.
Emerald paused for a moment, glancing away before looking back.
“ …better .”
Notes:
Sorry for such a short chapter!
Chapter 39: Little Homeworld
Summary:
Steven has an idea.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Looking back, Steven remembered the day he came up with the idea for Little Homeworld.
He was sitting on a hill with Garnet, who in hindsight, was assuredly a catalyst for the events to unfold.
He had looked out across the field, admiring the freedom and happiness the uncorrupted gems were experiencing, conversing and living in the fields where the barn had once stood.
He spotted Amethyst showing off her whip Biggs, and Bismuth laughing with Ocean.
Pearl and Emerald were talking to Centi (she had decided to keep the nickname) and her crew.
From this spot, Steven could see the joy on everyone’s faces.
That made him smile.
After everything they’d gone through, they deserved to smile and be happy.
As he continued to watch the gems converse, Garnet asked him a question. “What are you thinking?”
Years later, he would joke to her that that question spurred his mind and led to where they were now. She would smile, and say that was exactly the point. She had seen glimpses of the future that could be, and helped steer him toward it.
He would give her a hug and a ‘thank you’ for it,
“I’m thinking everyone is happy.” He replied simply, a smile still on his face. “But also… the Old Crystal Gems don’t seem to want to go back to Homeworld, even though the Diamonds are getting better.”
He had used the term very loosely. As far as he knew, they were working on it, although after the ordeal he had gone through he had been avoiding Homeworld.
All of them were, really.
It had been almost two and a half months since he had nearly died by White Diamond’s hand before saving everyone, and only a few of the uncorrupted gems had gone back to Homeworld.
“What do you think they need?” Garnet prodded.
“I think they need places to live.” He had paused, scratching his chin. “Like… their own city.”
Then it hit him. He told Garnet his idea, and she had smiled, later telling him that the future she saw became the only option.
As they walked down the hill from where they were sitting, Steven walked with a jittery bounce in his step.
They called for the attention of all the gems, and after a while, they had all gathered closer to hear.
He offered for them to stay, and proposed to build a place for them to live, here in this field.
Everyone seemed to love the idea, smiles dotting the crowd.
“We’ll call it…” he had thought for a moment, before smiling brightly and setting his hands on his hips.
“Little Homeworld.”
Notes:
Sorry for such a short chapter!
This was a shorter moment I really wanted to show. The creation of Little Homeworld begins!!!
I’m sorry that after nearly a week of waiting all I have for you is this short chapter, but I hope y’all like it!
————
IMPORTANT: Even though it’s a ways away, I wanted to warn y’all that chapters that take place during the movie and future have a chance of being postponed, because Hulu is removing Steven universe Future in 10 days (and the original series on October 1st), and there’s no way I can write all of it in that time, what with school.
But, hopefully I’ll be able to pirate everything soon, and by the time that we’re getting to that part of the story, there’ll be no issues.
————
Life Update: Feel Free to Skip
My English Teacher gave us a writing assignment where we have to write a letter to her that’s about us using these vague guidelines, and explicitly told us to ‘showcase our writing’.
So, she’s getting a creative writing letter that is just a letter about me but if I was a self-centered pirate stranded on an island but instead of sending a message for help I’m sharing details about myself.
If y’all want, when I’m done with this project I can post it with all the actual info redacted/changed. 🤷♀️
I hope all of you are doing well physically, emotionally, and mentally. And if you aren’t, we’ll then here’s some virtual hugs.
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
With all the Feels™️,
-Shifty ❤️
Chapter 40: Working
Summary:
Emerald talks to Peridot
Biggs gives new information
Chapter Text
Work had started rather quickly.
Most construction gems as well as others started working on the plans for Little Homeworld, while everyone else was divided into teams to comb the earth for any still-corrupted gems, as many were still unaccounted for.
Emerald was part of the former, working with Steven, Pearl, Peridot and Bismuth along with others on plans.
Garnet, Amethyst, and Lapis went into the latter, their skills in facing corrupted gems able to be put to use.
As much as she wanted to go with them, Emerald knew she didn’t have a good track record with combat.
Right now Steven, Pearl, and Bismuth were working with Blue Pearl to draw up a layout for the buildings they had come up with so far.
Emerald sat on the bright green grass a ways away, doing calculations for materials on a piece of paper. Peridot was sitting a few feet away doing the same on her tablet, but the two were barely acknowledging each other.
That was until Peridot grumbled something under her breath, drawing Emerald’s attention.
She glanced over, and Peridot spoke a little louder, her cheeks flushing slightly. The gem’s hands clenched in her lap, and she looked firmly down at the ground. “I’m… glad you’re alive.”
“…And I really am sorry.” She added on after a moment, shutting her eyes. “For everything. I’ve been… a massive clod to you.”
Emerald softened slightly, seeing that Peridot truly did mean her words, even if they were as hard for her to say as they looked.
She looked back to her calculations, taking a deep breath before resuming the work.
“…I’m glad you’re alive too.”
. . .
“What’ve you been up to all day?” Biggs asked as Emerald was getting ready to head home.
“Mathematics.” The gem responded simply. “…You?”
Biggs grinned broadly, putting her arms up and lacing her fingers behind her head casually.“Well, We found Leopard and Mookaite, two of my sisters.”
“How many of those do you have again?” Emerald asked with a smile.
“Well, there were thirty-five of us in my kindergarten, and if you don’t count the Amethysts from the other one, then I have thirty-three.”
“Shouldn’t it be thirty-four?”
Biggs crossed her arms, shrugging lightly as her face turned a bit more serious. “I don’t count the one.”
It took a moment for Emerald to realize who she meant, and when she did, despite everything she found herself smiling lightly.
“You headed home?” Biggs asked, changing the subject,
Emerald nodded. “I might have to wait, though. I think everyone’s still busy.”
Biggs looked over to where the others were still working, before turning back to her.
“I’ll walk ‘ya home if you want.”
. . .
“…Y’know, you’re the only Emerald I’ve ever met.” Biggs said after a while of quiet. The two of them had informed the others about where they were going, and right now they walked along the beach.
Emerald shrugged. “Considering there’s apparently only two of us, I’d say that isn’t very surprising.”
“Really?” Biggs asked, seeming confused. It made sense, for a gem who had thirty-four others in her kindergarten.
Emerald nodded. “You’re lucky to have a good relationship with the other… Jaspers.”
She hesitated on the last word, trying to move past the emotions tied to it. The two of them went quiet after she did.
“…sorry.” She mumbled after a moment, glancing away.
“No need.” Biggs responded plainly. However, Emerald didn’t elaborate further on the statement. Biggs didn’t ask for her to, instead changing her question.
“Didja hear?” She asked casually as they continued on, the house in sight, although a ways away.
Emerald looked over. “Hear about what?”
Biggs shrugged, although she rubbed her other arm lightly. A habit, it seemed.
“Apparently, Yellow Diamond has figured out how to shrink corruption. A few gems have gone to get their horns removed, or their marks shrunk.”
“Huh.”
The word was all Emerald could say, not sure how she could broach the subject of her old Diamond, or whatever she was to everyone now.
“You think you’re gonna go?” Biggs asked after a moment, and Emerald assumed she must’ve looked lost in thought.
She wrung her hands together lightly, glancing away. “Well, I haven’t had great experiences with Yellow Diamond…”
She looked down at her arm, running a finger over the spots of scars there, before touching the rings of them around her wrist. “…But besides all that, I don’t think I mind mine that much.”
“I feel the same… Definitely more interesting than being a solid color, if you ask me.” Biggs said, running a hand up her arm with a bright smile.
. . .
Emerald waved goodbye to Biggs before heading into the house. She relished the quiet after being in a loud clearing all day, and she picked up Ella when the cat trotted over.
She looked for Cat Steven, eventually spotting her laying on one of the bookshelves, next to Rose Quartz’s broken sword.
Emerald sat down in her favorite spot, looking at the colorful sky as she stroked Ella’s head, pondering about what Biggs had said.
It had only been a few months since her return into this new world, but she had found that she had been growing somewhat used to the presence of the new colors adorning her skin.
Now, she had been offered a way to be rid of them.
To be like I used to be. The thought made her frown, and she sighed, ducking her head and closing her eyes.
Then she forced herself to ask herself the question slowly, whispered so the only being who heard it was Ella, laying in her lap.
“…do I want to go back?”
She opened her eyes and looked at the feline as if she would have the answer, but the only response was silence.
Chapter 41: Better
Summary:
Nanefua comes over for tea
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.”
-Andy Rooney
. . .
“What do you do, as mayor?”
Nanefua took a sip of her tea before giving an answer.
The two of them were sitting on a blanket on the floor, enjoying tea and a conversation as they usually did.
“…Lots of meetings, as well as a fair bit of paperwork.” She answered eventually, setting the mug back down on a coaster.
“Sounds quiet.” Emerald commented with a smile, imagining the elderly women sitting at the nice desk she had described
Nanefua scoffed with a smile. “No. I somewhat respect Bill Dewey as a person, but as a Mayor, he left a lot to fix.”
“Like what?”
She scoffed again, taking a sip of tea. “His first order of business whenever the town was in danger was to save his own hide. I’ve been trying to set up safe houses in case of future danger, which I’d say is more important.”
The elderly woman glanced toward the door, where two human males sat on the stairs, watching them. “ I’d say the only thing I don’t like is those two .” She mumbled under her breath so they couldn’t hear her. “ They’re nice gents, but I don’t appreciate that they think I’m a frail old woman. ”
“ They’ll learn eventually, if you have anything to say about it. ” Emerald commented with a smile, taking a small sip of her own tea.
“Oh, and another person moved here.” Nanefua said with a smile. At Emerald’s confusion, she continued. “We don’t have a large population of humans here, so it’s news.”
Emerald nodded.
“I haven’t gotten to meet her yet, but from what I’ve heard, she’s an… energetic one.” Nanefua smiled again. “Elizabeth, I believe.”
“Hm.” Emerald hummed in acknowledgment.
Suddenly the warp pad lit up with blue light, drawing both of their attention.
“ Honestly , Amethyst needs to watch where she’s- oh !”
Pearl cut herself off as she saw the two of them, before smiling. She had smudges of dirt on her face and clothes, a fact that Emerald knew probably annoyed the cleanly gem.
“I didn’t realize you were still here!” Pearl continued. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, I can come back later.”
Emerald looked down at the warm mug in her hands shyly, a slight flush coming to her cheeks for seemingly no reason.“ …Stay ?”
“-If it’s alright with you, of course.” She quickly added to Nanefua.
“Of course.” Nanefua responded, unable to hide her knowing smile as she took a sip of her tea.
“Alright.” Pearl said with a flick of her wrist. “Although I can’t stay long. I’d prefer to clean myself off soon.”
She settled herself down next to Emerald, making a mental note that she would have to clean the blanket they were sitting on later to remove any dirt she left behind.
“Tea?” Nanefua asked. Pearl held up a polite hand. “No, but thank you.”
“What happened?” Emerald asked, smiling over the rim of her mug.
Pearl sighed, setting a hand to her cheek and frowning when it came away with a smudge of dirt. “Well, we were clearing out the space we picked out for Little Homeworld, but Amethyst thought it would be fun to throw dirt, and well...”
She trailed off with a sigh.
Nanefua suddenly remembered the gift she had brought, and began to pull it out of her suit pocket. Maybe I really am just getting that old…
“Oh, Emerald.”
The two gems looked over.
. . .
“…I wanted to show you this.” Nanefua said, pulling something out of her pocket.
In the elderly human’s palm lay a rock, a smooth white oval with speckled black spots. She offered it to her, and Emerald took it, rolling it over in her hand.
“You see, this rock used to be part of a larger one, until it was chipped off and carried away by a river, a force out of its control.” Nanefua said. Pearl looked up at her, but Emerald continued to stare at the stone in her palm.
“Over time, the river smoothed the edges away by colliding with stronger forces. Over and over. It traveled a long way, and now it can't be chipped away any more. But it still changed, and it can’t go back to the way it was before.”
Now Emerald looked up, a soft look in her eyes as her hand closed over the stone. Nanefua smiled at her.
“It’s okay to not be the same as you once were.” She said, setting her wrinkled hand on top of Emerald’s. “ Everyone changes as they move through the river of time, and we all end up different then where we started. You were unlucky that the river hasn’t been kind to you. But, all rivers go to the sea one way or another. A nearly infinite space, and while even the sea has its dangers, it also carries a great deal of beauty, and freedom .”
There was a moment of silence before she spoke again. “…It will get better.”
Emerald smiled, her eyes stinging with grateful tears.
“ Thank you. ” She said, and Nanefua gave her a hug.
Nanefua offered a hand to Pearl, who joined them.
Even if the advice wasn’t directed toward her, Pearl still took the advice to heart.
It will get better.
Notes:
Surprise! A chapter a few days early!!
I finished all my homework early, and I’ve been having a great day, so I figured I would spread the good vibes and post a chapter!
(also, I looked at Hulu yesterday and they added S5 and it doesn’t seem like they’re getting rid of future anymore either! Fanfiction is saved!)
Chapter 42: The Hill
Summary:
Lapis pays Emerald a visit
Chapter Text
“The wounded recognize the wounded.”
-Nora Roberts
. . .
Whenever she became overwhelmed, Emerald would go to the same hill every time. She didn’t quite know why the one spot was comforting, only that it was. Usually she would say she was going for a walk, and would deny any company.
Those days she would tread lightly, always making sure she was aware of her surroundings while going to the hill.
Today she had sat for a while undisturbed, before hearing a rush of air and the sounds of footsteps on the grass.
She turned her head to see who was approaching out of the corner of her vision, before looking forward again.
Lapis came closer, before sitting down next to her with her legs crossed. The two of them sat in silence for a while, the light breeze ruffling green and blue hair.
Eventually Lapis sighed, looking over to her. “…What’s the real reason you like sitting out here? I see you all the time.”
Emerald sighed, albeit somewhat shakily. There was a slight smile on her face, but it carried more pain than joy. “Well… There’s no walls, for one. No sharp echoes. The grass and the flowers… they’re so soft. ”
She ran her hand along the green surface next to her, before touching the tip of her finger to the petals of a purple flower growing between them. “ It’s… the least triggering place I can go, sometimes .”
She looked away further to avoid the look Lapis no doubt had on her face, moving her hand away.
“I’m sorry that I couldn’t protect you.” Lapis said suddenly, and when Emerald glanced over there was a determined expression on her face. “…But I will now.”
“I’ve had so many gems offer that…” Emerald commented, unable to stop a small smile from appearing on her face, chuckling lightly under her breath. “…And for the life of me, I don’t understand why.”
“What’s one more?” Lapis said, shooting her a grin of her own, before her face turned more serious again. “…And what don’t you understand?”
The smile remained on Emerald’s face, but her eyes seemed on the verge of tears as she avoided eye contact. “Why do I deserve to be protected? All I do is make everything worse.”
“ What...? ” Lapis asked under her breath, but Emerald continued. As she spoke the gem tightly gripped her hair with a hand.
“I should be good for something. If I’m not, then I’m just worthless , and a burden , and-“
“ Stop .” Lapis said suddenly. The word snapped Emerald out of her spiral, and she looked over to her. “You… you sound like her.”
“ What ?” Emerald asked quietly.
“You sound like her.” Lapis repeated more seriously. “She said these things to you… Do you remember?”
“Of course I remember!” Emerald said quickly. “What does that have anything to do with-!?“
“Because they’re working.”
The moment of silence that followed felt to last a thousand years before Lapis continued, her hand gripping the grass underneath her.
“I don’t know how many gems have discounted your worth because of how you look, And I don’t know how, or when… But they got to you.”
Suddenly it felt like both of them were on the verge of tears; of falling apart.
“How many times since they stopped have you taken their place and done it to yourself !?”
There was a genuine pain in Lapis’s eyes, and the question felt to bury itself in Emerald’s chest, painful and poisonous.
“ I…I don’t know .” A few tears slipped down her cheeks, and she felt her breaths quicken.
“ Emerald… ” Lapis murmured, drawing back the gem’s attention. “…Listen to me.”
“I can’t do anything but listen .” Emerald responded, a slight edge to her voice.
The statement shut Lapis up for a moment.
“Yes you can, but I’m asking you to anyway.” She countered. Lapis moved closer, and Emerald didn’t move away. She looked into the gem’s dark eyes, seeing familiar pain.
“…We want to protect you because you need protecting, and you shouldn’t have to do it yourself.”
“You shouldn’t have to be strong like that.”
She didn’t want Emerald to grow the same hard exterior she was fighting so hard to get rid of in herself.
Then Lapis quickly wrapped her arms around Emerald, holding onto her.
“ Please… ” Lapis whispered, tightening her grip while being careful to not trigger anything.
“… Don’t take their place. ”
Usually hugs made Emerald feel better.
But right now, this one only made her feel guilty.
Chapter 43: Hidden
Summary:
Emerald learns something new.
It’s… not great.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Crying is a way your eyes speak when your mouth can’t explain how broken your heart is.”
-Unknown
. . .
Even if Emerald didn’t mind her scars all that much, it didn’t mean she liked her reflection.
She hadn’t seen her reflection that often in her life, but her new one still felt… wrong.
Her conversation with Biggs had sparked a newfound interest, and she had spent the past few days wondering if this was a good idea before deciding.
She had told the others to go ahead without her today, abandoning her favorite spot in the window in favor of looking at her reflection. She had only gotten a brief look once before, but now she wanted to take longer, to truly see just how much her own face had changed.
She traced a finger around the waves of orange around her eyes, before tracing over the spot along the left side of her jaw.
Her arms had various spots, and there were thick rings of scars around her wrists. It was a strange and inconsistent pattern, unlike the more consistent ones she had seen on others.
Turning her head she could see more of them on the edges of her shirt collar. She turned, lightly pulling the edge of her shirt off her shoulder.
Then she froze, staring.
The scar curled back before thinning out in multiple directions, clearly forming the shape of a grabbing hand.
Her own hands began to shake, the implications and reasoning for why this was washing over her as she let go, staring into the mirror.
She looked down at her arms again, seeing nothing better. The spots triggered memories of where rough fingers had dug into her skin, and for the first time the rings around her wrists looked like someone had grabbed them.
Someone had.
She moved her hand up, but couldn’t bring herself to touch the ring of scars around her throat as she tilted her head to see them.
When she moved it away, she stared at her reflection, her breaths quickening and her chest tightening.
All she could see in the mirror were countless hands and the wounds they left behind , reflected from her mind onto her skin.
She frantically reached to turn off the light, wanting to make the feeling stop , but then all she could see were glowing eyes reflected back.
Hurt and corrupted, surrounded by scars that in the low light she could see formed the shapes of fists.
Ruined .
Just like the rest.
She shook her head as tears stung her eyes, wanting what she saw to be a lie, not registering that she was moving back until she hit a wall.
Suddenly the bathroom felt too small, constricting and trapping her inside.
She bolted, pushing through the door and into the main room. Every shadow reached for her, the sheer fear bringing her to her hands and knees as she couldn’t calm down.
She faintly registered Ella and Cat Steven mewling at her, but she was filled with the urge to run , even if what she was running from was her own reflection.
Her chest heaved with gasping breaths, and in a desperate bid to not feel trapped in her own home she crawled onto the warp pad, forcing through the Panic enough focus to activate it.
She Arrived in the Ruins, one of the few places she knew how to warp to on her own, before collapsing on the ground, curling into a ball as she felt to be falling apart.
. . .
“Thanks again for helping us.”
Her blue counterpart had been essential in helping to lay the designs of Little Homeworld, and Pearl knew that she deserved recognition and credit for it, even if she wasn’t going to ask.
Blue smiled shyly, unused to being thanked for anything. “My pleasure.”
It had surprised both of them when Blue Diamond fully accepted her Pearl leaving, stating that she shouldn’t have to serve her anymore in this new era. Blue still sent her old Diamond her artwork, and her Diamond had said that her art was impressive, encouraging her endeavors.
“Oh, I’ve been meaning to mention to you. When Little Homeworld is done, Videlia said she might open-“
Pearl cut off when she heard a meow, and looking up, Cat Steven stood on the grass twenty paces away, breathing heavily. The cat Meowed again, seemingly looking for attention. Pearl said that she would be right back before going over to the cat, picking her up.
“How did you get out?” She asked with a smile, before it melted off as Cat Steven squirmed in her arms until Pearl dropped her.
The cat mewled at her like she was desperately trying to tell her something, and after a moment of confusion Pearl realized what it was.
The cats had always seemed more intelligent than most other animals, and always seemed to watch over them as though they were the protectors of their family.
And Emerald was home alone.
Suddenly fearing the worst, Pearl scooped up Cat Steven in her arms, running to the warp pad.
. . .
The first worrying sign when she arrived at the house was that Ella was standing on the warp pad next to her, her fur fuzzy from Pearl warping in, mewling at the blue surface.
The second sign was that Emerald was nowhere in sight.
Looking around Pearl saw a slash in the screen door where Cat Steven cut it open, escaping out of the house to find help.
Cat Steven jumped out of her arms, and she shooed the both of them away, worrying that they wouldn’t be safe warping with her.
“I’m going to find her.” She said surely to them.
It felt silly to be talking to animals, but it didn't feel right to say nothing after they had been the ones to alert her to Emerald’s disappearance.
Then she activated the warp, hoping that she could find her friend before something bad happened.
. . .
Emerald sat with her back to the wall of the ruins, her knees pulled into her chest hiding her face.
When she heard someone distantly call her name, she figured whoever it was would leave if she didn’t respond.
Then she heard the distant footsteps coming closer. Not wanting to look, but unable to ignore the anxiety it gave her to ignore it, she glanced up just in time to see Pearl turn the corner of the destroyed hall, spotting her.
“ Emerald .” At her name she hid her face again, emotions twisting in her gut at being found.
Pearl moved to sit next to her, speaking softly. “… Are you alright? I’ve been looking everywhere for you. ”
“… Don’t look at me. ”
The only way Emerald could describe how she felt was touched , like Jasper had carved her name all over her for everyone to see, and she couldn't hide it anymore.
She didn’t want to be seen, she didn’t want to see her own reflection, she just wanted to hide from perception forever.
“… Please .”
Pearl went silent for a moment, before Emerald heard her move a bit closer.
“ Do you want to talk about it? ”
“ No .”
“ Would… you like a hug? ”
It took an enormous effort to move, but Emerald managed to crawl into Pearl’s arms, curling against her chest.
Then she took a shuddering breath, a sob raking her throat. Pearl held her closer in response, and Emerald crumbled in her arms.
Eventually she had no more tears left to cry, her sobs dying down to an odd sniffle before disappearing completely.
“… Do you want to come home? ” Pearl asked after a period of quiet breathing had overtaken them for a few minutes.
Emerald didn’t look up, murmuring quietly. “ Mhm .”
However, for a few minutes, neither of them moved. Pearl was the first to break the stillness, but instead of helping Emerald up, she lifted her up in her arms as she stood.
For a moment Emerald was confused, before putting her arms around Pearl's neck so as to not lose balance.
When she looked at her, Pearl was giving her a soft smile, nothing but care in her eyes. “… Let’s go home. ”
Notes:
Early chapter as a gift to my IRL friend who reads this!
I’ve been holding onto this bomb for a while >:3
Chapter 44: Reminders
Summary:
Emerald is unraveling.
Chapter Text
“Pain changes people, it makes them trust less, overthink more, and shut people out.”
-Unknown
. . .
Every day that went by, wanting to cry felt more irrational.
Because everything was perfect.
Emerald had everyone she cared about back in her life, yet she couldn’t enjoy it.
Years were blurred moments to gems, yet this one felt to last a thousand. It hurt to think about who she was on Homeworld, and now she questioned how she had the strength to live that life.
She felt like a discarded artifact of a not so distant past, broken and unworthy of being discovered. But she was recovered anyway, living among the older and wiser.
The more whole .
Despite Pearl’s insistence after what happened the day prior, and as much as she wanted it herself, Emerald had asked for space, unwilling to burden her any further.
She tried to do anything normal, but even just a moment of looking at her own skin sent her mind reeling, wanting to hide, to run, to do anything except be there.
Her mind was filled with hateful words, whispers of a deep-rooted shame and anger seeping through the cracks.
Damaged.
Broken.
Useless .
Her mind felt to be filled with shouting, and tears stung her eyes as she curled in on herself. She knew that these thoughts were the remnants of others words, but the knowledge hardly made them easier to bear.
Instead it only made her feel worse, hating herself for feeling this way when she wasn’t supposed to.
You’re supposed to be happy .
Something in her chest tightened, a biting hatred that felt to tear into her mind, ripping her to pieces. As hot tears flowed down her cheeks and her breaths felt to be a series of gasps without exhale, she filled with fear.
She was scared of panicking in itself, of being in that state alone. Something about the attack itself was scarier than normal fear, but she felt to have crossed a line of no return, unable to stop herself from falling into the depths of her own broken mind.
MAKE IT STOP
Where her hands had been holding her arms her nails dug sharply into her skin, trying to force herself out of it. When it didn’t work she pressed harder, pushing aside the pain in a desperate attempt to
MAKE IT ALL STOP
All of the sudden she was pulled back, both Ella and Cat Steven mewling at her from where they had jumped on her lap, the latter of which pressing her paws into Emerald’s cheek.
She took a shuddering breath, but while she wasn’t completely gone the tears wouldn’t stop, stinging her broken eyes and falling off her chin. Her grip left her, her nails easing away from the small indents they had made.
Gems couldn’t get injured or bruised, but constant pressures usually resulted in temporary markings that didn’t hurt, only able to remind the bearer of their existence. Even before her eyes they began to fade, her skin back to it’s ruined state normal.
A few of her tears fell into the cats’ soft fur, but the two seemed to pay no notice. Ella nuzzled her head under Emerald’s chin. Cat Steven sat down, making eye contact before narrowing her eyes.
Emerald managed to move her shaking hand, gently dragging it down Cat Stevens' back.
“ I’m sorry. ” She murmured, suddenly feeling a wave of guilt crash though, even if she was talking to cats, creatures that had yet to ever respond.
“ I’m sorry. ”
Notes:
Quick clarification for all of y’all’s, don’t worry, my mental state is not bad right now, this is not channeling.
Just making sure y’all know that.
Chapter 45: The Beach Day
Summary:
It’s just a day on the beach…
…right?
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNING FOR: Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Chapter Text
“I have
a thousand
reasons
to die
and many
millions
of tears
to cry.”
-Draconian
. . .
Steven didn’t understand why Emerald didn’t like to sit in the window anymore. When he asked her about it when she was reading a book one day, it wasn’t lost on him that she deflected the question.
He didn’t ask again, instead switching the subject away from it. “…Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot are coming over.”
“Alright.” The gem shut her book, setting it on her lap. Her pinkie finger tapped against it slightly, betraying her nervousness, even if she tried to pretend for his sake that it wasn’t there.
“We’re… having a beach day.” He continued, confused as to what was making her so anxious lately. “Are you gonna come outside?”
Emerald glanced away for a moment before giving him a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “ …okay .”
. . .
The beach was louder than usual.
Amethyst shouted every once in a while from where she rode her windglider on the small waves, and Steven and Connie were laughing as they splashed each other. Bismuth was building a sand castle, shooing away the crabs and insisting to them that it wasn’t done yet. Lapis and Peridot sat farther away from the water, closer to the base of the cliff, talking.
Emerald watched the ocean, seeing as the waves thinned into white foam as Garnet and Pearl sat at her sides. She dug her hands into the sand, hiding them under the appearance of searching for something.
Suddenly felt something rough under her fingertips, and when she grabbed it and pulled it out of the sand, in her hands was a small conch shell.
She smiled softly at it, running her finger over the small ridges. For a moment she was distracted, before her eyes were drawn to her wrist, at the grabbing scars marring her skin.
Her form stiffened, and she suddenly had to fight against tears in her eyes.
“ Are you alright? ”
It felt like as soon as Pearl said something, everyone else had a reaction.
Emerald saw Garnet look toward her out of the corner of her eye, and Bismuth looked back. Though she couldn’t see the others, there was no doubt everyone was looking. Something in her chest tightened at having so much attention focused on her.
She didn’t realize her hands were clenched into fists until she heard a small cracking sound, and when she opened her hand, the shell had broken into pieces.
Shards .
“Mhm!” She said quickly, by way of answering Pearl’s question, before standing up.
Her hand went open as she did, and she dropped the shards as she pushed everything down, trying to hold onto some sense of enjoyment; of stability.
This was supposed to be happy , after all.
She approached the sea, before stopping. She felt the remnants of old fear, when the ocean contained only danger. It was irrational, as Lapis was sitting twenty feet behind her and Jasper was…
…somewhere .
She tried not to have a visible reaction at the thought; at the knowledge that Jasper was out there somewhere. There was a lingering worry that she could be in the ocean, even if that made no sense.
Emerald forcibly shoved that down too, wading into the water up to her ankles. She kept her gaze on the horizon, trying to focus solely on the good things all around her.
She could hear a few seagulls in the distance. The water was cold, the waves gently rushing against her ankles in a soothing pattern. She took a few deep breaths, closing her eyes and inhaling the salty air.
For a moment she believed it was working, that everything was okay. The noise in her head died down, and everything was alright for the moment.
But then her eyes drifted open, drawn to the movement of the waves below.
. . .
Emerald suddenly took a step back, splashing the water.
When Pearl looked up, she noticed the subtle details of Emerald’s body language that had changed.
Her hands were clenched into fists, and there was a slight tremor to her shoulders that hadn’t been there before.
“Emerald?”
“I…” The gem started, before her body language relaxed again, though she didn’t stop shaking. “…I’m going to go inside for a bit.”
When Emerald turned she touched a hand to her head, hiding part of her face from view as she quickly made her way back towards the house.
. . .
Emerald went straight to the bathroom, shutting the door to keep the cats out and not bothering to turn the lights on. She pressed the heels of her hands into her closed eyes in an attempt to calm her frantic mind, but it didn’t help.
Her thoughts were racing, and even though the darkness felt to reach for her, she couldn’t bear to turn the light on and have to see herself.
She didn’t want to look at herself anymore.
She moved her hands away, staring into her own pained eyes, the soft green light reflected in stinging tears at the edges. The moment seemed to last a thousand before her hand felt to be moving of its own accord, gently brushing the side of her neck before her fingers came to rest on her gem.
She looked away.
She grit her teeth as she pulled on the rectangular surface slightly, screwing her eyes shut as sparks of pain went through her form.
But she couldn’t find it in her to care about the pain.
She didn’t want to feel like this anymore.
She didn’t want to feel anything anymore.
She pulled on it harder, feeling as her hand shook and tears welled up in her eyes from the fear and the memories. She feared that she would panic before achieving her goal, but she pressed her nails into the skin around her gem and tugged harder, keeping her eyes shut tightly.
She smiled slightly as she felt herself cross the edge, knowing she would get to rest from this all-encompassing pain for a while.
Then everything went black in a cloud of smoke.
Chapter 46: Found
Summary:
Emerald’s gem is found.
Chapter Text
“This disease comes with a package: Shame. When any other part of your body gets sick, you get sympathy.”
-Ruby Wax
. . .
“Pearl?” Amethyst called as she and Garnet walked up the stairs.
Pearl had gone inside around ten minutes after Emerald had, wanting to check on her. Everyone assumed something must’ve triggered her, so they didn’t think much of it.
Lapis, Peridot, and Bismuth eventually said their nervous goodbyes, and Steven and Connie called her mom.
“…Steven’s going to Connie’s house for a sleepover, but before we grabbed his stuff we figured we would check on you and-“
Amethyst suddenly cut off when they saw her.
Pearl stood frozen in the doorway to the bathroom, where the light was coming from in the house. Her hand rested on the frame, but her nails were digging into the wood.
“Pearl..?”
She looked up when Garnet said her name, and they could see the tears flowing from her eyes, her lips pursed tight and trembling. They could faintly hear a small mewling as Ella looked around the bathroom.
“Pearl, Where’s-?”
Before Amethyst could finish, Pearl let go of the doorframe, turning toward them and pulling her other hand away from her chest to reveal a rectangular green and orange gem.
The reactions were immediate.
“WHAT HAPPENED!?” Amethyst shouted. Garnet just stared, but couldn’t hide the horror on her visible features.
“I… I don’t know. It was just… sitting on the floor.” Pearl stammered in between sniffles.
Amethyst and Garnet exchanged a look, all three of them knowing that they hadn’t seen anyone enter the house, and there was no noise of a fight, no shouting, no nothing.
So the only one who could’ve done this to Emerald…
…was Emerald .
. . .
Garnet fazed off her visor, sitting down on the couch and rubbing two of her eyes with her fingertips while she closed the third.
“I didn’t see any of this coming.”
Pearl had since stopped crying, and the the three of them were sitting close together.
“…I wasn’t looking down the right paths.”
Amethyst hugged her side as Pearl held her arm, both of them looking for strength that she didn’t know how to provide.
“I thought…” Pearl started, but after she trailed off Amethyst finished the sentence.
“…That she was doing better?”
The three of them fell silent, and when Garnet moved her hands away to stare at the gem that was still in Pearl’s hand, the others could see tears on the edges of her red eye.
“I thought… what happened a few weeks ago was just a fluke.” Pearl said, looking down at the gem before looking at the two of them.
“We all did.” Amethyst said, reaching to set her hand on top of Pearl’s.
The next morning they were all sitting together again when they heard Doug’s car pull up, and soon after Steven running up the stairs.
. . .
Steven rushed up the stairs. He had been worried about Emerald, and after talking about it with Connie she helped to cheer him up for the night.
But he still wanted to check on her.
When he got to the top and opened the door, he stopped in his tracks when he saw the gems sitting on the couch, thinking they would be off to Little Homeworld to help out by now.
“Guys?”
His eyes did a short sweep, before taking in that it was just the three of them.
“What’s going on? Where’s Emerald?”
The gems looked at each other, before Garnet reached forward, placing a rectangular gem on the table.
“What happened!?” Steven asked frantically, abandoning his bags at the door to run to the table, but his hands hesitated before he couldn’t pick it up. He looked for a moment, before looking at them.
“It’s… complicated.” Amethyst said, though she wasn’t meeting his eyes. Pearl wasn’t either, and the two of them were holding onto Garnet like a lifeline. Garnet herself had her eyes hidden by her visor.
Steven’s shoulders drooped, coming to his own conclusions. “She… poofed herself… didn’t she.”
Just the thought of it brought tears to the corners of his eyes, and he looked at the gem for a moment before looking back at them, suddenly feeling smaller.
“ ...I’m not a little kid anymore. You don’t have to hide it from me. ”
“Oh, Steven… We didn’t want you to worry.” Pearl said, pressing the knuckles of her other hand to her lips.
“C’mere, Steve-O.” Amethyst said, opening one of her arms. Steven found the courage to pick up the cool gem in his hand, before climbing onto Garnet’s lap.
He looked at it in his hand for a moment, using the heel of his other hand to wipe away tears. “… She told me she’s been having nightmares... ”
The gems tensed, looking over to him. Garnet reached up and fazed off her visor, before putting her arm back around Pearl’s back.
“ …It was an accident that I saw one. I wasn’t trying to. ”
None of them pressed, but he continued anyway.
“ …Jasper was there. She was trying to hurt her, telling her that she was useless. ”
“I’m sorry you saw that.” Garnet murmured.
“ She was too. ”
“Did she tell you anything else since then?” Pearl asked.
“ No .”
“ How long will she take to come back? ” He asked Garnet directly, looking up into the fusion’s visor.
“I don’t know. If gems want to, they can extend their deformation. But every gem has their limit.” Garnet said, a look of sadness in her eyes as she moved her hand to comb it over his hair.
He looked down at Emerald’s gem again, before sighing, his eyes feeling strained.
“ …I’ve been having nightmares, too. ”
That gave the three of them pause, and Garnet was the first one to break the silence.
“…What are they about?”
“ …Homeworld .” He looked up, at where Ella was laying by the closed bathroom door, as though she was waiting for Emerald to come out. Cat Steven was looking at the other cat, flicking her ear from where she sat on the kitchen counter.
“ …Guys, I need to tell you something that happened while you guys were controlled by White Diamond. ”
Chapter 47: Homeworld
Summary:
Pearl makes a choice.
Emerald talks to someone she never thought she would see again.
Chapter Text
“It’s not the future you are afraid of. It’s the fear of the past repeating itself that haunts you.”
-T.W.W.
. . .
Pearl wiped tears away from her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time of the week, before looking down at the gem in her hand. She felt guilty that they didn’t realize how much Emerald was hurting.
They had all been waiting for her return so they could talk, but Pearl knew it could be a long time. The longest she herself had ever been deformed was after Steven’s birth, when she had been in enough pain from losing Rose to resort to the same method to relieve it. She had been gone for almost three months, meeting Steven for the first time only weeks after her return.
She didn’t want to think about the fact that if Emerald took that time it would be half the time they had lost her before.
She didn’t want to think about going through that again.
She leaned back, looking up at the dancing lights above her that were meant to mimic the look of the night sky. She couldn’t help but think about being Granite for the first time, seeing a brighter world and being filled with the beauty from it.
She started to humm softly, a song that was familiar with new meaning.
The words showed a devotion that hurt to think about, but the music reminded her of small moments of happiness, such as washing dishes in a kind of quiet peace with her friend reading behind her, or a cold hike made more joyful by company.
She relaxed, closing her eyes gently as running a finger across the facets of Emerald’s gem as she continued to hum.
Her eyes snapped open and she sat up quickly the moment she realized she had begun to lose her sense of self. Emerald’s gem fell onto the solid water of the fountain as the light coming from it faded.
Pearl touched a hand to her own gem, realizing she had somehow forgotten that Steven had brought them back this way. Suddenly she felt conflicted.
Bringing Emerald back this way when she was the one to make herself leave felt wrong, but Pearl gently reached out, grabbing the gem before looking down at the reflecting light on the surface of it.
She couldn’t help but hope that if Emerald came back now they could talk about this, and even if nothing was better Pearl could be there for her.
It had to be better than this .
. . .
To Emerald it was sudden.
One moment she was in the nonexistent realm inside of her own gem, and the next she felt herself being dragged back to reality.
She knew the feeling well, but couldn’t understand why it was happening now. For all she knew it had been a long time, but it still felt too soon to go back, to face her reflection.
No doubt someone would have found her gem.
She didn’t want to face them.
. . .
Granite existed for only a moment, feeling so overwhelmed from the strong feelings coming from both of her components that she fell apart before tears could even sting her eyes.
. . .
Pearl slid back on her feet, but when the light in her eyes faded she saw Emerald fall to her hands and knees, as though it was too much to even stand.
She moved closer, seeing the gem’s form trembling.
. . .
The first thing Emerald saw when she opened her eyes was her own reflection, and it felt like being punched in the chest. Her breaths quickened, and she almost immediately wanted to hide again, to stay inside her gem for eternity.
A hand brushed her shoulder and she flinched away, looking up to see Pearl’s sorrow-filled face, tears in both of their eyes.
Seeing her look so upset felt like being punched in the chest all over again. She slowly stood, stepping back.
“ Emerald- ” Pearl reached for her, but Emerald took a step back, covering her mouth with a hand to stifle her choking sobs.
She felt suddenly trapped, trapped inside a room she couldn’t escape.
And she ran.
As soon as she saw the wall she stopped, knowing that she couldn’t open it on her own.
. . .
“ Open the door. ” Emerald said under her breath, so quiet that Pearl barely heard her.
“ Emerald- “
“ LET ME OUT ! ” Emerald shrieked, tears flowing down her cheeks.
It was out of pure shock and reflex that Pearl didn’t even have to lift her hand to the wall before the door opened from the connection to her gem, and as soon as it was open Emerald bolted.
It felt like barely a moment before the gem crashed onto the ground, so frantic that she had somehow forgotten the warp pad in front of the door, falling over it.
“Emerald!”
Emerald was shaking violently , worse than Pearl had ever seen her panic before.
Before she could reach her Emerald ran again, bursting out the door. She ran up to the warp dome, and for a moment in the doorway of the dome Pearl saw her look back, eyes wide and fearful.
Then the warp was enveloped in blue light, and Emerald was gone.
. . .
Almost immediately after the glow of the warp pad faded Emerald was assaulted with memories of a death sentence, centuries old pain and fear returning as she stood in the same giant room where she had been cast away.
She hadn’t realized that this was where the galaxy warp went other than that it went somewhere on Homeworld, and she doubted she would’ve used it if she did.
She ran through a pink curtain into a hallway, turning the corner quickly and leaning back against the wall as she heard the warp activate again.
She sat against the wall, covering her mouth with a hand to hide her gasping breaths.
And she hid, unable to face her friend now that she knew how terrible she was for not being happy.
Anyone could’ve found her gem.
But it had to be Pearl .
Pearl, who she had hurt so much, and now had done so again.
“… Emerald..? ” Pearl called lightly after a few moments of silence, sadness evident in her voice. “… I… I’m sorry. ”
Something in Emerald’s chest felt like it was crumbling all over again.
Did Pearl think that it was her fault she felt this way about herself?
It could never be her fault.
She wanted to say so, but couldn’t find the courage to face her.
After a few minutes the warp pad activated again, and Pearl was gone.
. . .
It felt like hours until her shaking slowed, though it had yet to cease completely. Her breaths evened out for the most part, and she found herself feeling guilty for wanting someone to hold her, comfort that she didn’t deserve.
Emerald felt displaced , and there was a lingering anxiety that if she stayed in one spot too long she would die.
She slowly stood, the back of her mind wondering how no one had come across her yet. Anyone else might call it luck, but she had never had a reason to believe she had any.
She felt the pull to go back to the warp, to hide under a blanket with Ella in her arms, but the thought of having to face everyone - especially Pearl - again felt nauseating.
Instead she looked around.
The large curtain wafted lightly in the breeze to her left, but she felt sick at the thought of going back into that room. The large hall she was in split into three directions, one outward, and the left and right halls fading into light shades of yellow and blue respectively.
It took enormous effort to take a step, then another, yet somehow she managed. She turned left, biting her tongue to ignore the feeling of being trapped by the yellow walls despite their colossal size.
Every time someone passed her she tensed, and sometimes they seemed to notice, though no one spoke to her.
She felt invisible.
It felt better than being seen.
. . .
She passed multiple rooms, but every one felt so foreboding that she kept walking.
Then she came upon one like all the others, but before she could react, it opened on its own.
She quickly backed away out of view, and for a moment there was silence before a voice that felt to cut into her chest spoke.
“ Is someone there? ”
Emerald's throat felt to close up, her breaths somehow ceasing completely as a shudder went through her form.
It felt like a nightmare, but pulled from her mind to reality.
“I can see you.”
She looked down, at where the edge of her shoe stuck out, and she quickly pulled it away. She bit her tongue so hard she tasted light akin to iron, trying desperately not to fall back into familiar panic.
Lumbering footsteps came closer, and Emerald felt tensed to run, yet stuck in place. A large gloved hand reached around the doorframe, before the rest of the Diamond followed suit.
Emerald wanted nothing more than to stay invisible, but Yellow Diamond noticed her instantly, and Emerald couldn’t look her in the eye.
“Can I… help you?”
It seemed like the Diamond had a hard time saying the phrase. Did that mean recognition, or a lack of practice?
It was hard to tell, but Emerald stopped that train of thought, knowing if she thought too much about it it would end in a panic attack in front of Yellow Diamond.
There were a few moments of silence before she responded, the words seeming to slip out without permission.
. . .
“ Fix me.” The green(?) gem said, quiet enough that Yellow barely heard it. The volume reminded her of Blue’s Pearl, but the gem’s tone carried something she didn't know how to decipher.
Perhaps Blue would’ve been better at that.
“ What ?” She asked, hoping to gain more clarification.
“ …Someone said you could remove corruption. ” The gem responds.
Yellow stood up taller, clasping her hands behind her back with a nod. The question certainly explained the odd discoloration of the gem.
“I can. Do you want them reduced?”
“ I want them gone . ” The gem said with that same odd tone.
. . .
The Diamond had footsteps like thunder, and with every step Emerald felt herself walking the edge of the attack.
Yellow Diamond stopped next to a large desk, before setting her hand on the floor.
Emerald stared at it, before climbing on, trying to stem her shaking.
As Yellow Diamond lifted her up to the desk she fell to her hands and knees, unused to the moving floor. The Diamond adjusted, setting her down on the desk. Emerald sat on the edge, her shaking hands folded in her lap and her legs hanging over the edge.
. . .
“Hmmm…” Yellow mused. “ What are you?”
The gem tensed, looking down and away. “I…”
“A Jade?” She asked, going off of the gem’s coloring besides the orange corruption. She used the edge of her hand to lift the gem’s chin, forcing her to look her in the eyes.
“ Yes .”
The gem’s eyes seemed to be corrupted as well, dark as the vast emptiness of space. She squinted and they seemed to widen under her gaze, clear fear showing through as she felt the gem’s breath increase rapidly.
“Hmm… alright.” Yellow moved her hand away, touching the tips of her fingers together.
“ All gone .” She repeated, humming lightly. The gem looked down and away as she continued. “…yes, I can do that.”
. . .
The Diamond rubbed her hands together, and when she separated them, the crackle of electricity made Emerald tense.
She had to resist leaning far away when Yellow reached toward her, and she shut her eyes as tight as she could.
For a split moment electricity ran through her, and she was struck by memories of the crash.
Her eyes snapped open wide, and she covered her face with her hands to try to hide.
“That’s… odd .” Yellow Diamond murmured. “Here. Let me try again.”
Suddenly Emerald felt the electricity again at greater volume, and the panicked tension inside finally snapped .
A strangled sob choked out of her, and she curled up tight, wanting to hide from the terrifying being in front of her.
. . .
The gem seemed to burst into spontaneous tears, and Yellow halted.
“Did I hurt you?” She asked, but the gem had no response.
“ How do I deal with this? ” Yellow asked herself under her breath.
She had helped Blue with outbursts of tears after Pink’s shattering.
But that was different. She knew blue.
She didn’t know who or what this gem was, or why she would be so upset.
She reached toward the gem, but in a split moment the gem stood and backed up, clearly afraid. Her eyes darted around before she sprinted forward, leaping off the desk.
Yellow moved to catch her, suddenly concerned she would crack herself falling from such a height when she was so small, but she missed.
However instead of the thud of a form hitting the floor the gem landed perfectly, as though she had been falling from heights her entire existence.
The gem continued running, while Yellow stood there slightly confused and stunned.
As the door opened Yellow saw a glimpse of a green gem at the base of the gem’s neck, and something sparked in her memory, however faint.
But she couldn’t pin it down. And so she stood there, frozen in place as the gem ran away from her in fear.
And Yellow Diamond was hit with the stark reminder that no matter how much she would try for Steven, she had gone too long being feared for it to be any different.
Chapter 48: Alone
Summary:
Pearl has to tell the others what happened.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Guilt is like rust - it is slow, but powerful, and it eats the person alive.”
-@nabeel_nishat
. . .
Pearl sat down on the couch, putting her head in her shaking hands. Guilt racked her mind, as she questioned why she had to ruin everything again.
She had only wanted to help, to be there for her.
But now all she had done was driven Emerald away.
She could be anywhere on Homeworld by now, and who knew if Homeworld was completely safe? Shattering robonoids were only just being removed from the kindergartens, so they still posed a danger.
What if she never comes back? A part of her mind whispered, and suddenly Pearl’s throat clenched tightly, unable to breathe if she wanted to.
She felt tears sting her eyes, and she wanted to fold in on herself.
. . .
“ Pearl ?” Pearl looked up when Amethyst said her name, tears still in her eyes. She hadn’t heard her and Garnet return, but no doubt she had been sitting there for at least an hour.
“What happened?” Amethyst asked, noticing the lack of Emerald’s gem, which Pearl had been holding to. None of them had had the heart to take it away from her. “Where’s-“
“Emerald… ran away. ” Said, looking away from them, defeated.
“She's back already!? She took over two weeks last time!” Amethyst exclaimed as Garnet sat down at Pearl’s side. She beckoned to the purple gem, and Amethyst climbed up on Pearl’s other side.
“If she doesn’t want to stay here with us anymore, then we can’t force her.” Garnet said calmly, setting a hand on Pearl’s back. “But she needs to talk to us about it.”
“ Stars , this is my fault. ” Pearl murmured, hiding her head in her hands again.
“Pearl, you didn’t know-“ Garnet started, but Pearl interrupted her.
“ I brought her back .”
“ What ?” Amethyst asked seriously.
“… I fused with her. ”
“ Why ?” Garnet asked her, rubbing soothing circles on her back.
“ I just… couldn’t wait months. ” Pearl set her hands down on her lap, but her back stayed hunched and defeated.
“Why did she go to Homeworld ?” Amethyst asked seriously, looking over at Garnet.
“ I don’t know. ” Garnet responded, looking down.
“Should we go after her?” Amethyst asked.
“ I’m looking. ” The fusion said.
Garnet’s brow was furrowed as she looked into the future, trying to find what they should do. “There’s… a chance she comes back on her own... She might just need time.” She said eventually, looking up.
“ But what if she…? ” Pearl asked, clear fear in her eyes as she looked up at Garnet.
“I don’t see a future where we don’t see her alive again, whether we go to Homeworld or not.” Garnet countered. “…But I can’t see everything.”
Amethyst looked away, before looking back at them.
“This sucks… but I think we should give her time.” She said, though she didn’t sound very sure. “Maybe like a few days at the least? She might just be upset that we found out what she did…. to herself. ”
The final part of her statement came out unintentionally quiet.
Garnet nodded, but Pearl set her head in her hands again, feeling guilty for doing this. She couldn’t wait a few months, and now they could never see her again.
And it was all her fault.
Notes:
Sorry the chapter is so short! It was longer but I thought it would be better split into two!
Chapter 49: Anywhere
Summary:
The others get tired of waiting.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“My pain is never silent. My tears speak when my heart is full.”
-A.Kinglock-Murray
. . .
None of them had the courage to tell Steven what had happened when he arrived home. Nearly every day for the past week he had been asking Garnet when Emerald would be back, and he was more antsy about it than the time Pearl was poofed by her hologram.
The next morning, they told him that there were things that the three of them had to talk about alone, and he nodded before heading off to the fields.
Pearl was the first one to speak, her shaking hands laced in her lap, her brow furrowed.
“I can’t just sit here anymore. I’m going to go find her.” She said surely.
“The three of us should go together.” Garnet said, knowing that she couldn’t say anything to make Pearl wait, and that both she and Amethyst as well had been having a harder time waiting as they originally planned.
. . .
Homeworld was happier than the last time they had visited. There were gems scurrying about the throne room, the sun having gone up.
They went through the massive pink lace curtain, before turning down the left hall. The walls faded to yellow around them, and Pearl held onto Garnet’s arm. Garnet knew that being on Homeworld was difficult for her, so she didn’t object.
They saw a gem exit from a door before passing by, and when they looked inside the room they saw a workshop, Yellow Diamond seated at the desk with bubbles of forced fusions floating around her.
“Yellow Diamond!” Garnet called, and the Diamond looked back.
“ Oh . It’s you three.” Yellow turned, crossing her arms, although there was a slight smile in her eyes as she asked a question. “Is Steven here with you?”
“No… we’re looking for a friend.” Pearl said. Yellow pursed her lips at where Pearl was holding onto Garnet’s arm.
“…Emerald.” Amethyst added.
There was a slight look of what appeared to be surprise in Yellow’s eyes, and she lifted her head and lowered her hand from where she had been leaning on it.
“A Fusion?” She asked seriously.
“No.” Amethyst said plainly, crossing her arms.
Yellow sighed, turning her hand over in a swaying gesture. “Well, I can guarantee she’s not here . My-… I mean, Emerald is traveling to other planets as of currently.”
“ What !?” Amethyst and Pearl explained in unison, but Garnet kept her calm.
“I’m afraid you misunderstand. We’re not looking for your old general.”
Yellow looked at her curiously, clearly confused as to what she could mean.
“…We’re looking for an off-color.”
Amethyst was the one to notice that the Diamond had a slight reaction to Garnet’s statement, her shoulders tensing as her eyes widened slightly, but Amethyst didn’t understand why.
“Is she here?” She asked directly.
Yellow cleared her throat, turning back around to her work and picking up the tweezers she had left on her desk.
“ No .” She said simply.
Not anymore.
. . .
They asked Blue Diamond as well, but none of them wanted to talk to White so soon after everything. Then they continued to ask around, but no one seemed to know where she was.
A few gems they talked to who wore forms with Yellow Diamond’s insignia seemed confused at the fact that they were looking for an Emerald. When Garnet (regrettably) had to add on that she was off-color, the two gems glanced at one another.
“Do you know where she is?” Amethyst asked bluntly.
“She’s alive ?” One of them countered.
They didn’t think much of the question, at the time.
. . .
By the time they returned to the house it was in the late hours of the night, and Steven had most likely put himself to bed when he realized they were gone.
Garnet suddenly looked up from where her head had been bowed, looking to where the bathroom door was open slightly, although there was no light coming from inside.
Amethyst and Pearl stood and watched as Garnet walked over to the door, before pushing it open enough to get through.
There was a moment of silence before they heard her speak. “ When did you get back? ”
Pearl and Amethyst exchanged a look, but neither did anything else until they heard the response.
“ …not long ago. ”
Pearl was the first to move, drifting over behind Garnet, but Amethyst wasn’t far behind.
“ …you guys weren’t home... Steven’s asleep. ”
Emerald sat with her knees tucked into her chest, her glowing eyes reaching through the darkness. Amethyst reached for the light switch, but Garnet held up a hand behind her to tell her to stop.
“We were looking for you.” She said, settling herself down on Emerald’s far side. Amethyst lightly pushed Pearl, who stood frozen in the door, and after looking back at her, Amethyst gestured to the floor.
“ I’m sorry I wasted your time. ” Emerald said as Pearl sat down on her other side, and Amethyst sat with her legs crossed where she was.
“ Why did you go to Homeworld? ” Pearl asked softly.
Emerald set her head against her knees, the light of her eyes becoming hidden. “ I wanted Yellow Diamond to remove my corruption… But it didn’t work. ”
Pearl lifted her hand, but pulled it away when she didn’t know if touch would be welcome.
“I… I’m stuck… like this.” Emerald said, an edge of hatred in her tone that she no longer bothered to hide.
She covered her eyes with her shaking hands, tears trailing down her cheeks and dripping off her chin.
“What’s so bad about it?” Amethyst asked, earning a sharp look from Pearl for being so blunt.
Emerald bit her tongue, the question making her feel ill.
“It’s… wrong .” She said slowly, and as much as she wanted to she couldn’t bring herself to look at her arms again. “ Everything shows… and it’s so wrong it hurts . ”
No one understood her words, and Emerald seemed to stop trying to make sense. Instead she curled in on herself, choking on sobs.
“ I- I hate it. ” She choked out in between sobs, before she looked up, the tears flowing down her cheeks reflecting the light of her eyes.
It took a moment for them to realize she wasn’t staring at the ceiling…
…but at the mirror .
Notes:
I’m going through daily Fictober writing withdrawals 💀
Anyway, here’s a chapter a few days early!
Chapter 50: [BONUS CHAPTER]: Regrets
Summary:
Yellow and Blue Diamond talk.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Yellow Diamond shared that she didn’t know the gem’s wareabouts, before turning back to her work when they left.
All was quiet in the empty room itself, but her mind was busy.
It felt too random to be a coincidence that a green(-ish) gem she couldn’t identify seemed to arrive out of nowhere before leaving just as quickly, and less than a day later others came looking for a gem that should be long gone.
It did certainly explain why she couldn’t place the gem to any kind she knew.
…and why the Emerald was so scared of her.
She didn’t remember everything, only that she had ordered the Off-Color Emerald to be shattered upon seeing just how unfixable the problem was.
But apparently she was alive , and had returned by choice, desperately wanting to be changed.
Yellow didn’t like the sour feeling the thought offered.
She wasn’t a very empathetic gem by any means, the trait attributed to Blue by most gems, including Yellow herself.
And yet, Yellow couldn’t help but feel a small amount of guilt thinking about seeing the gem crying when she couldn’t fix her, couldn’t make her how she was supposed to be.
Because she knew without knowing, that it was her fault.
It didn’t matter in what way.
Yellow took a breath, setting down her tweezers and laying her palms flat on her desk to focus. She stood for a while, but she couldn’t get her mind back on track.
“ Yellow ?” A soft voice asked, and Yellow glanced back before looking forward again.
“ Blue .”
Blue drifted closer from where she had been standing in the doorway, before setting her hand gently on Yellow’s back. “ Are you alright? ”
Yellow hung her head. She took a few moments to respond, her voice quiet. “ …How are we going to do this? ” She asked genuinely,
She was one of the tallest beings in existence, but she couldn’t have felt smaller. “How are we going to help everyone we’ve hurt? There’s so many that… I’ve even forgotten some. ”
Blue took her hand off her back, and Yellow craved what was lost until Blue set her hand on top of her own.
“I don’t know if we can help everyone.” She said, squeezing her hand lightly.
“…I want to.” Yellow said with a degree of surprise at the truth the words carried. “I want to fix all the pain I’ve caused... For Steven. ”
Blue looked away for a moment, before looking back to her. Her eyes were soft and sad, though devoid of tears.
“ I don’t think any of us can do that. ”
Notes:
As aforementioned, I’m going through daily prompt-writing withdrawals 💀, so here’s a BONUS CHAPTER!
Chapter 51: Care
Summary:
Steven wakes up.
Emerald is home.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Steven woke feeling more tired than when he had gone to sleep. His nightmares weren’t any worse than usual, but they were annoyingly consistent.
He sighed, setting his hand on his shirt where his gem lay, as if to reassure himself that it was still there.
He had a passing half-awake thought wondering why Pearl wasn’t watching him sleep. He had asked her not to, but sometimes he caught her doing so anyway when she was particularly worried.
And why wouldn’t she be, when just a week ago he told them that his gem had been violently ripped from his body?
The thought made him shudder.
His body began to catch up with his mind, and he felt a tingling in his arms and legs as he slowly completely woke up.
As he sat up, he heard murmured voices coming from downstairs. He gently used his floating powers to get out of bed without being heard, and he stood behind the corner of the stairs for a few moments.
He knew that there was no doubt if Garnet was there she knew he was awake and listening, but he just wanted to understand what was going on that would lead them all to be talking.
. . .
It was the strangest thing to know the pain of shattering, yet crave it.
Emerald sighed, slouching from where she sat on the couch by the stairs.
She couldn’t help but wonder if the screaming of shattering was better than the weighted quiet that had taken over the room all of the sudden. She supposed that the things that mattered were the effects on everyone else.
If her being out of their lives was happier for them, then maybe her pain would be worth that.
But just thinking about her fragmented existence made her shudder, and Pearl held her a bit closer from where she had an arm around her waist. Emerald had let her indulge in holding her like this, mainly because it seemed to make Pearl feel better, if not herself.
“… I’m alright. ” She said quietly, though not one of them seemed to believe her.
There were a few moments of silence, before someone spoke. “… Emerald ?”
The gems looked up, seeing Steven standing on the stairs, still in his pajamas with his hand resting on the wall.
“… Steven .” She suddenly felt that she had to look away, and she couldn’t understand why just seeing him made her suddenly want to crumble to pieces again.
Maybe it was the worried look in his wide eyes that told her there was nothing she could say that could ever make him see her as whole again, or maybe it was the way his knowing quiet added to everyone else’s, feeling like a physical weight pulling on her chest.
It felt like merely a moment before Steven ran down the stairs, before holding her tight in a hug and burying his face in her aching chest as she sat frozen.
She didn’t see Amethyst move slightly to get up and tell Steven that she probably wasn’t in the mood for hugs, and she didn’t see Garnet catch Amethyst’s arm to stop her.
There was a moment of completely frozen quiet before Steven spoke again.
“… I missed you. ” He whispered, and Emerald fully crumbled. Hot tears trailed down her cheeks out of seemingly nowhere, and somehow she found the strength to put her arms around him in turn.
I’m sorry. She wanted to say, because she couldn’t understand why a wonderful and smart child like Steven would miss something as broken and lost as herself.
I’m so sorry. She wanted to say, because the same was true for everyone else, and yet here they all were.
It didn’t make a bit of sense.
Pearl reached over from where she had moved away, putting her arm around her again. Garnet and Amethyst drifted over, joining them as well.
Amethyst leaned against her side, holding her arm. Garnet reached over her, setting a hand on her shoulder and rubbing it soothingly with her thumb.
Emerald knew that Steven and Amethyst were crying, she was crying, and now everyone must be crying.
She felt surrounded, but not out of fear.
It didn’t make any sense, but she felt surrounded by nothing but…
…care .
Notes:
Y’all, I have a Tumblr where I’m going to be posting art relating to fanfiction now!!!!!!!!
https://www.tumblr.com/shiftingtribemasterfics
Chapter 52: Free
Summary:
Garnet has a talk with Pearl.
Notes:
SUPRISE!!!! TWO CHAPTERS IN TWO DAYS!! (I’m using writing Fanfiction to cope 💀)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”
-Toni Morrison
. . .
Garnet leaned against the dividing wall between the blue crystals surrounding the temple entrance and the house, looking out the far window at where the sun was setting.
She looked back, in time to see Amethyst arrive home in the light of the warp pad. She quietly beckoned the purple gem over, before murmuring quietly, so that the others wouldn’t hear.
“ Amethyst . Can you stay with Emerald and Steven? I want to talk to Pearl. ”
Amethyst nodded, understanding the situation, and why Garnet was being quiet about it. She sauntered into the room, setting herself down on the couch a distance from Pearl and Emerald, who were doing a puzzle quietly while Steven read a book in the windowsill spot.
Garnet followed suit, before stopping in the middle of the room.
“ Pearl .”
Both gems looked up, and Garnet tried not to have a reactionary sad look at the numbed pain in Emerald’s eyes, instead keeping her face level.
“…Can I talk to you?”
Pearl nodded, before removing her arm from where it held onto Emerald’s, standing up. “Of course.”
Garnet motioned for her to follow, and the two of them stepped onto the warp.
“ Is something wrong? ” Pearl asked, but Garnet only set her hands behind her back.
“ Let’s go somewhere. Anywhere you want. ”
At her words Pearl felt a sense of dread, knowing that if Garnet wanted to go somewhere else, she wanted to talk about a topic she thought was too personal or sensitive for the others to hear.
She looked down as she activated the warp.
. . .
It only took a few short and easy leaps on the smaller islands before they reached the larger one.
Pearl stood for a moment after her feet touched down on the grass, watching as the purple sky slowly became speckled with stars.
A part of her wondered why she had warped here, of all places.
It was hardly connected to happy memories.
At least, not anymore.
Garnet landed next to her, and Pearl reflexively took her arm, suddenly craving the fusion’s strength.
Garnet was the force that walked forward, Pearl following her lead before the two of them sat on the edge of the cliff.
Garnet let go of her arm before pressing her hand comfortingly on her back, drawing soothing circles. Pearl looked up at her.
“ You wanted to talk? ” She asked quietly, hearing the tired edge to her voice.
It’s presence made sense. It had been a stress-filled week after all.
“ Are you okay, Pearl? ” Garnet asked softly.
“Of course !” Pearl countered quickly. “I mean, everything’s fi -”
“ Pearl .”
Garnet reached up her other hand, dissipating her visor. Pearl could see the soft worry in her three eyes.
“ Please don’t lie to me, Pearl. ”
Pearl wanted to say something , to reassure Garnet that she really was fine, but she could only hang her head, unwilling to lie.
All week she had been trying not to think about what Steven told them.
She didn’t know personally what having your gem pulled out felt like, but Steven had clearly been shook by the experience.
She laced her fingers together, rubbing her thumbs against one another as she tried to figure out how to word her feelings. Garnet waited patiently, knowing she would get there eventually.
Pearl couldn’t help but wonder if Emerald knew what it felt like to go through a thing such as what he had, and if that was why Steven went to her first, and asked her not to tell.
She didn’t have to see the future to know the most likely answer to that question.
She didn’t want to think about the fact that she had no memory of holding Connie back with a smile on her face as it happened to him.
“ …I can’t stop thinking about what we might have done that I don’t remember. ” She said eventually, before correcting herself. “… What she might’ve made us do. ”
Garnet frowned, and her hand moved up, carefully holding the back of Pearl’s head as the tips of her fingers playing with her hair.
The calming powers of the action showed where Pearl’s shoulders relaxed, as Garnet knew it would.
She supposed given time, Pearl and Emerald would be the same in that light, when Emerald had grown to be more comfortable with being touched in small ways.
“ You didn’t have a choice. ” She murmured, knowing the words and actions would probe further into what they needed to talk about.
“ That seems to be a running theme.” Pearl responded, an edge of bitterness in her voice.
“ I know .”
Pearl sighed, leaning back into her touch and looking up at the sky.
“… I want to be free , Garnet. ” She whispered eventually, helplessness audible in her broken voice as her eyes gained a wet sheen.
“You are.”
“Am I? Really ?” Pearl asked, looking over at her.
A tear welled up in the corner of her eye, and Garnet moved her hand to wipe it away with her thumb.
And for all her future vision, Garnet didn’t know what to say.
Because only Pearl could answer that question.
There was a long stretch of silence between them, though Garnet kept her hand where it was.
At some point Pearl moved her head, pulling away before standing up. “We should go back.”
The pale gem turned, but she was only able to take a few steps before Garnet caught her by the shoulder, having gotten up as well.
“ Pearl .”
Pearl turned, and Garnet pushed one of her pink bangs away from the smooth gem on her forehead, before setting both her hands on Pearl’s shoulder.
“I know you want to be there for her at every moment. We all do… But you have to think about yourself, too.”
Pearl looked down again, and Garnet drifted one of her hands to lift her chin, wanting Pearl to look her in the eyes. “…And you have to let us help . We care too, about both of you.”
Pearl shut her eyes tight, and her voice cracked slightly as she spoke in a hushed murmur. “ But Garnet, what if she’s alone and..? ”
“She’s not alone right now. Amethyst is with her.” Garnet countered.
“…And we’re not going to leave her alone so soon.”
Notes:
You may be asking. Is this Pearlnet?
Answer? I don’t fvckin’ know! I’m a useless sapphic, I blur the lines between platonic affection and romance when I write!
I suppose it’s up for interpretation.
————————————————————————
Promotional Art for this chapter out of Tumblr!
https://www.tumblr.com/shiftingtribemasterfics/766552909633781760/part-2-chapter-52-out-now-i-know-that-this-is?source=share
Chapter 53: Nothing
Summary:
It’s Emerald’s turn to have a talk with Garnet.
Notes:
TW FOR: Suicidal thoughts, Implied/Referenced possibility of Suicide, Self-dehumanization
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“At this moment in my life, a part of me really wants to give up.”
-Unknown
. . .
Emerald sighed, sitting back against the couch. Her eyes drifted shut as she leaned her head back against the top of the cushion behind her, doing her best to ignore the way her gem pressed into the plush surface uncomfortably.
Everything was quiet but for the sound of her own breathing, though she wasn’t alone. Garnet’s quiet carried a constant knowing , and every moment Emerald felt seen .
Closing her eyes when everything was still and quiet only gave her anxiety that felt like sickening anticipation, and she opted instead to stare up at the ceiling.
. . .
Garnet was nervous, to say the least. She originally wanted to avoid the coming conversation, because she knew it was going to be painful for everyone involved.
There was a possibility of having a similar conversation even before they learned how Emerald was feeling, but Garnet didn’t worry about it. As Amethyst had said, they all believed things were getting better. But after Emerald poofed herself, along with this conversation being one of the strongest futures if she decided to start it, there was a glimpse of a much worse future ahead.
The possibility that things could lead that way had mostly faded after Steven had come downstairs after her return, but the fact that it still existed at all was a testament to Emerald’s fragile mental state right now.
If Garnet allowed this conversation to go unsaid, there could be bad things to come that she could never let happen.
So, as painful and heartbreaking as the close future would be, she sighed, before speaking.
. . .
“ Emerald .” Garnet murmured, and Emerald lifted her head, glancing over to her. When Garnet saw she had her attention, she patted the cushion next to her. “…Will you talk with me?”
Emerald softened, before moving closer. Garnet set her arm around her, and Emerald leaned against her side. “ …yeah .”
Emerald had a distant look in her eyes as she stared at the floor, and Garnet sighed once more, preparing herself.
“ …You don’t have to be sorry for being in our lives. ” She murmured eventually. Emerald’s eyes immediately went wide, and she tensed. Her head turned away, and she refused to look into Garnet’s expressionless visor.
“ I don’t know what you mean. ” Emerald whispered, though her voice had taken on a shaking edge that made Garnet want to stop talking, even though she knew she couldn’t.
“ Yes, you do. ” Garnet countered, not bothering to hide the fact that she knew.
Emerald’s breath quickened, and she knew if she had a heart it would be beating faster than normal as her throat felt to close up. In response, Garnet gently started rubbing her thumb against her side, trying to coax it out of her.
“ Emerald .” She spoke gently, her voice softer. “ …Why do you feel this way about yourself? ”
Emerald shrugged off her arm, moving farther forward and setting her feet down on the floor, now in a position where Garnet wasn’t touching her.
But as soon as the gem spoke, Garnet felt that they had finally reached the true issue at hand.
“…. Because it’s all true . ”
. . .
“ I’m supposed to be gone . ”
Emerald spoke so quietly that Pearl almost missed it entirely. She froze immediately, standing in the doorway of the temple.
She stood there, not knowing how to state her presence when Emerald was finally talking about what she was feeling.
She had been so quiet since her return.
Emerald was looking out toward the window, and Garnet was looking down at her. Neither of them seemed to realize Pearl’s presence, and she used the opportunity to quietly drift across the room and stand behind the dividing wall.
Eavesdropping felt wrong, but then again, it was hardly her first time doing so in her lifetime.
Besides, if Emerald was finally opening up to Garnet, Pearl didn’t want her presence to be an excuse for her to stop.
. . .
Emerald set her hands on the couch next to her, sighing. “…I’m not meant to be here, to have a life .”
She pushed up off the couch, suddenly feeling uncomfortable being so close .
“I’m even less than an object , I’m supposed to be shattered as soon as I emerge .”
“Just Look at everything all of you have accomplished since I’ve been gone ! She gestured toward the window, where in the far distance they knew were the fields where Little Homeworld would eventually stand. She gestured but didn’t look herself, because she didn’t want to see the glow of her eyes reflected back.
“-All the good you’ve done since you didn’t have to worry about me !” She set her hand down, her other one gripping her shirt.
There was a moment of silence, where she resumed looking at the floor. “ And now I’m here. ”
“I’ve ruined the peace you get to have now just by being here!” She protested, not seeming to realize the tears sprouting in her eyes.
Garnet set her jaw, standing up as well to say something, but Emerald beat her to it.
The gem looked down at her other hand, her gaze becoming distant as she spoke shakily. “… why did you even bring me back? ”
“ Emerald… ” Garnet said softly, reaching for her, but Emerald took a step back before shouting, tears now streaming down her face.
“ I am nothing , Garnet ! I AM NOTHING !”
A long moment of silence followed her words, which felt to sting Garnet's metaphorical heart. Emerald was clearly trembling now, as tears dripped off her chin and her hands dug into her shirt
For what felt like the longest time, they had been treating Emerald as though she was untouched by Homeworld’s prejudice purely because she didn’t know everything .
They hadn’t realized she carried a different kind from the few things she did know, and what she had been told since the moment she emerged from the ground.
. . .
Garnet was the one to break the silence, though her words weren’t addressed to Emerald.
“ …Pearl .” She spoke softly. “ …you don’t have to hide. ”
Emerald’s chest tightened at Garnet’s words, and sure enough, Pearl came out from behind the dividing wall, tears in her eyes. She felt like crumbling as the pale gem saw her pain, made all the worse when she spoke.
“..Is this what you’ve meant? Every time you’ve apologized?”
“I … ”
Emerald looked down at her arms, wishing she could tear the scars out of her skin, knowing that it was impossible.
“ Just look at me. ” She said in a broken voice, feeling tears sting her eyes further as her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “… Every scar I have is somewhere I’ve been hurt . ”
The two of them had a sudden reaction to her words. Pearl gasped softly, her hand covering her mouth out of shock. Her eyes widened, seeming to see everything for the first time, frightened of it. Garnet tensed slightly, her hand pulling back from where she had been reaching out to her, and Emerald wanted to hide away and cease to exist.
“ I can’t even look at myself without wanting to die anymore. ”
Emerald's shaking hands dug into her hair, clutching tight as she desperately tried to cling to reality.
“…I’m a ruined thing! I… I can’t even- I don’t-”
Her breaths began to quicken, her words stuttering as the noise and the emotions began to build up too quickly to handle.
“-I can’t do this anymore- Shatter me-shatter me!-SHATTER ME!” She cried, and Garnet moved closer.
“Emerald… breathe.”
“I… I can’t-” she stammered.
Tears felt to spill without permission, and a sob tore her throat as her legs no longer seemed able to hold herself up, causing her to slump to her knees.
Garnet and Pearl were quick to kneel, but hesitated when it came to touching her.
“ I’m sorry- I’m ruining- everything- again - ” She spoke in between gasping breaths, trembling. “ Stop- stop it- “
She had barely begun to move her hand before Garnet caught her by the wrist, moving quickly to hold her hand tightly, their fingers lacing together as Sapphire’s gem pressed cold into her palm.
Emerald felt frozen, as though she had stopped breathing completely even as her chest heaved. When she looked, Garnet’s Visor was suddenly gone, and her eyes carried sadness and tears of her own, but also…
…fear .
Tears fell from Pearl’s eyes as well as her hand gently rested over where Emerald’s other hand still held tight to her hair. Slowly, as if by magic, Emerald’s hand relented, and Pearl held it close.
Emerald suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of shame, feeling disgusting for selfishly wanting to hurt them by leaving again. She felt to be shattering within her own mind, fragmenting into broken pieces that could never be whole again.
Pearl continued to hold her hand, but moved closer to set her other arm around her. Emerald went limp against her, burying her face in Pearl’s neck as she sobbed.
Garnet sat close and wrapped her arms over them, and Pearl moved to take both of Emerald’s hands in her own, lacing their fingers together.
. . .
Eventually her sobs turned into the occasional hiccup, and she had left the shoulder of Pearl’s jacket damp.
Now it felt that she was clinging to Pearl’s hands as much as Pearl was clinging to her own. She felt numb inside, weighed down by something physical in her chest.
“…just shatter me.” She murmured into Pearl’s neck. “…Be happy.”
“We are not going to shatter you!” Pearl protested firmly, her own tears and Garnet’s having dried away long before Emerald’s.
“ I don’t deserve this… why are you keeping me alive? ” Emerald asked.
Garnet moved away her arm that was around Pearl’s back, instead reaching forward and carefully setting her hand on her chin to make her look at her.
It took Garnet merely a moment to realize that her thumb covered the scar on Emerald’s jaw, even if it didn’t fit the size, and she felt ill.
She quickly moved to hold the side of her face instead, Emerald's skin warm against Sapphire’s cold gem.
“ …Because you do . ” She finally murmured in response. “ …You deserve to live . ”
Notes:
Promotional art out for this chapter on my Tumblr!!!
https://www.tumblr.com/shiftingtribemasterfics
For RaptoroKeyboard: ❄️ 😈
Chapter 54: Bugging
Summary:
Amethyst and Emerald talk
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Amethyst wasn’t quite sure what to do.
It was her turn to stay home and watch Emerald, but Emerald hardly ever talked anymore. Even the silence felt different, and not in a good way.
Emerald’s quiet before always had an air of anxiety or relaxation, as though the air itself carried nervous electricity, or a sense of calm.
Now , her quiet just felt… empty .
Amethyst glanced over at her again. Emerald was in the corner of the couch with a book in her lap, but something told Amethyst that even though she was looking in its direction, she was focused on something else.
Emerald wrung her hands over her wrists in a repeated pattern, as though there was a kind of discomfort or itch there.
Eventually Amethyst got tired of watching, crawling across the couch and sett8ng herself down in front of Emerald.
“Em.” She said plainly, and the gem looked up.
Amethyst didn’t think she would ever get used to the eerie darkness of her eyes, or how it made the sharp green of her pupils more piercing. Despite being one of the most gentle gems Amethyst had ever known, she would be lying if she said that Emerald didn’t look menacing.
She shrugged off the feeling, before gently reaching over and picking up Emerald's hand by the wrist. Emerald flinched slightly, but let Amethyst move her arm closer to look at the marks on her arm, before turning it over. The purple gem ran a thumb along the odd seam where the orange marks overlapped in a strange pattern on the inside of Emerald’s wrist, before Emerald gently pulled it out of her grip, looking away as she pulled her hand into her chest.
“…Do they bug you?” Amethyst finally asked, sitting back.
From what she could tell there weren’t physical blemishes on Emerald’s skin the way humans got scars, only color change, but she often watched Emerald rub at them as if they were.
“ I… ” Emerald murmured, before looking down at her wrist again. She hesitated for a moment before speaking again. “… yeah. sometimes. ”
. . .
There was a silence between them for a long moment, with Amethyst being the one to break it. “One minute.”
She quickly hopped off the couch, the gem on her chest glowing to open the temple door. She left the door open so she could keep one eye on Emerald, but found what she was looking for in her random piles of stuff.
She ran back, getting back onto the couch where she had been as the temple door shut. She held up the blueish-gray sweater she had grabbed, one that hadn’t fit her after she ‘borrowed’ it.
“You can use this, if you want.” She set it down, turning it so Emerald could see the V-cut on the other side. “I have to get low-cut ones to show off my gem, otherwise it feels a bit stifling.”
She smiled hesitantly. “If you put it on backwards, it might work for yours.”
“Here, try it out!” She said encouragingly, before reaching to help Emerald pull it over her head and get her arms through the right places.
. . .
“Is that better?” Amethyst asked, sitting back.
Emerald stared at where the material went all the way up her arm, covering everything that she could’ve seen normally.
It was the smallest thing, and yet it made her feel less vulnerable and exposed. In a way, something as small as a human garment had made her feel more secure .
“ Mhm .” She mumbled, realizing that Amethyst had in fact asked a question. “ …Thank you. ”
“No prob.” Amethyst commented with a shrug.” “Wanna play a video game?”
. . .
One thing Emerald liked about spending time with Amethyst is that she acted normal while the others would act carefully around her, as though at any moment she might suddenly snap .
Although, to be fair, sometimes she felt like she would snap too.
It was nice to have a break from Pearl’s constant vigilance and Garnet’s knowing quiet, if spending time with Amethyst wasn’t as comfortable as the others. Pearl had a habit of constantly checking in on her and worrying over her, while Garnet had always felt distant.
She followed Amethyst up to Steven’s room, listening as she showed her what each button did on the controller, and how to use it. The game had colorful graphics, and it looked like something right out of a book.
The two of them played for a while, and Emerald found herself relaxing. She started to miss Garnet’s quiet when faced with Amethyst’s boisterous laugh, but at the same time she was having fun .
She slowly got the hang of it, eventually beating a few of the others that Amethyst called ‘NPC’s in a game about what she called ‘racing’, though she couldn’t match up to Amethyst’s skill.
But Amethyst cheered for her regardless, and she smiled.
“ Thank you. ” She said again, and Amethyst smiled, shrugging nonchalantly.
“No prob, Em.”
. . .
If Amethyst had any less self-control, she would’ve added on
‘ It’s nice to see you smiling again.’
But she didn’t.
So instead, she settled for smiling and thinking it.
Notes:
Y’all don’t question the time I’m posting this
Anyway
Yay
Amethyst and Emerald interactions
Chapter 55: Pawns
Summary:
Emerald and Nanefua play chess
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“…and finally, we learn from chess the greatest maximum in life - that even when everything seems to be going badly for us we should not lose heart, but always hoping for a change for the better, steadfastly continue searching for the solutions to our problems.”
-Benjamin Franklin
. . .
Emerald stared endlessly down at the small plastic game piece in her hand, as though it carried the answers she so desperately wished for. It was a small thing, easily fitting in her palm, with the light shining off a smooth black varnish.
She knew its one purpose.
In chess, pawns were meant to be discarded.
She rubbed her thumb over it, wondering if this is what it felt like to be the bigger gem, deciding when to abandon and sacrifice the little ones for the sake of winning.
“What are you thinking of?” Nanefua asked, seemingly out of nowhere.
Emerald closed her hand over the pawn, before setting it down in its spot in the front row on the end.
“... Nothing .”
. . .
“Even though I dislike most board games, I’ve always been an avid fan of chess.” Nanefua said with a smile as they started playing. “…Don’t tell Priyanka. I’ll never hear the end of it.” Nanefua joked.
Emerald made a noise of acknowledgment, before Nanefua spoke again. “When did you learn to play?”
Emerald captured one of the elderly human’s pawns, setting it next to the board to the side. “… Steven likes board games. ”
Nanefua and Emerald quit talking to focus, exchanging captures as pieces slowly disappeared from the board. Slowly Emerald was losing, until she had her king, and the single pawn on the end she hadn’t had the heart to move.
She knew she could move her last pawn forward, sacrificing it for the sake of keeping her king.
But instead, hands shaking, she moved her king into danger for the sake of protecting the little defenseless pawn.
She didn’t care if it was illegal or wrong in the rules of the game.
Why didn’t the big gems protect the little ones? Why did they leave them to die ? Why did they hurt them? Why didn’t they care more about what they created? Why didn’t they take responsibility ?
This and a thousand other questions racked her mind, until she felt the beginning of tears stinging her eyes. She could only duck her head, trying not to break apart once more.
She really had to stop humanizing worthless objects.
. . .
Nanefua moved to sit next to her, setting a gentle hand on her back.
“ …I know something has been wrong. ” The elder said quietly, before moving her hand over where Emerald’s tight fist had grabbed the end of her sweater. “ Will you tell me what’s going on? ”
Emerald felt unable to look at her, her answer coming in a guilty whisper. “…Sometimes I kind of want to die again.”
“ Oh, nana… come here .” Nanefua murmured, before pulling Emerald's shoulders down for a hug.
Emerald apologized quietly, her voice lost in its low volume as a few tears dropped onto Nanefua’s shoulder.
“ Don’t be sorry. I’m here for you. ” Nanefua replied, only holding her closer.
. . .
Suddenly as if out of nowhere, a small mew rang through the room.
Emerald looked up, setting Ella sitting by the bottom of the stairs, Cat Steven sitting on one of the middle steps.
“ Looks like your little friend wants to make sure you’re alright. ” Nanefua murmured as they released the hug, a small smile on her face as the off-white cat stood up.
As Ella came over she walked right through the middle of the board, knocking over some of Nanefua’s pieces in the process.
The past week since her return Ella and Cat Steven had been making themselves scarce, and Emerald had believed that they were purposefully avoiding her.
Unable to resist herself, as Ella came close Emerald picked her up, holding her close to her chest. Ella purred, nuzzling her head into her neck.
“It seems I wasn’t the only one who missed you.” Nanefua commented with a small smile. The elderly woman looked down at the chess board, before picking up her own fallen king. “…And it appears you’ve won the game.”
Notes:
Sorry for such a short chapter!
Chapter 56: Cards
Summary:
Greg comes by.
Emerald plays cards again.
It doesn’t end well.
Chapter Text
“You can’t change the cards you were dealt. Just the way you play the hand.”
-Unknown
. . .
Emerald turned the page of her book, half heartedly wondering how the protagonist was still alive after his miraculous streak of luck. Garnet sat with a book of her own, though most likely the seer would know how it ended.
Suddenly they heard someone coming up the stairs, and Emerald wondered if Pearl was home early, even though it was only the start of the afternoon. However, she looked up to see Greg of all people coming inside.
“Hey Guys!” He said, the two gems looking up from their literature.
“What brings you here, Greg?” Garnet asked, even though she already knew the answer. “Steven is at Little Homeworld.”
Greg shrugged. “Actually, I was looking for Emerald.”
Emerald looked up at that, and Greg smiled at her. “Steven told me you were back a while ago. I was wondering if you wanted to join us for cards, it’s been a long time.”
Emerald closed her book, glancing away. “ I don’t know… ”
“You should go.” Garnet said, setting her own book down. “It’ll be good for you.”
“ …Alright .” Emerald agreed, before Garnet stood up suddenly.
“Greg, May I speak to you in the bathroom for a moment?” She asked in all seriousness.
“Uh… Alright?” Greg said awkwardly.
. . .
They were gone for less than two minutes. A new record, considering the others seemed adamant about someone always being with her.
As they came out, Greg was doing something on his phone, but Emerald didn’t pay much attention to it before he set it in his pocket. She stood up, the two of them headed toward the door before Garnet spoke again.
“One more thing.”
Emerald turned to see Garnet holding Ella, the cat flicking her tail. She scratched behind Ella’s ear, before holding her out to Emerald
“Just in case.” Garnet said with a thumbs up after Emerald took her.
. . .
The car ride there was quiet, neither of them knowing what to talk about with each other after this long. It was a short ride to Barb’s house, where Emerald suddenly felt hesitant standing on the doorstep.
Greg had said as they left that Nanefua and Priyanka couldn’t make it because of their work, but that Videlia and Barb would be there. She hadn’t seen the two of them since before her shattering, and suddenly she was worried that her appearance would scare them.
Greg rung the bell, and as the door opened Emerald closed her eyes reflexively, holding Ella close out of nervousness.
“Emerald!” Barb said happily, before hesitating. “Uh… you alright? ”
“Hi Barb…” Emerald said hesitantly, slowly opening her eyes.
“Come on in!” Barb said enthusiastically, stepping back. Emerald froze for a moment, wondering why she hadn’t said or asked anything.
Then, the two of them stepped in.
. . .
“Amethyst told me you guys got another cat.” Videlia commented, scratching behind Ella’s ear from where the cat had wandered over. “…She’s so soft.”
“I know.” Emerald said, playing down another card. It was a jack of diamonds, hardly clearing her mind since she started reading a dictionary, and now knew what a jack referred to.
She started to feel a bit stressed, trying not to think about the glances toward her that the others kept doing. It had to be normal, yet at the same time no one had said a thing about her changed appearance. Even if it had been more than half a year since she had last seen them, it was an obvious intrusive change.
“Are you alright?” Greg asked suddenly, and Emerald realized she had been gripping her cards too hard. Ella scampered over to her, but Emerald set her hands down on the table, pushing her chair back.
“I just need a moment.”
Ella hopped off the table, following her as she left the dining room and walked into the entryway. She felt the distinct need to remove herself from the situation, and she started toward the front door, to at the very least sit on the stoop until Greg could take her home.
“Are you okay?” Greg asked again from behind her, and Emerald stopped in her tracks, not turning to face him.
“I’m going to go for a walk.” She said simply, knowing that that excuse usually worked. There was a moment of pause, before Greg set his hands in his pockets with his thumbs sticking out.
“Mind if I join you?” He asked casually, though there was a nervous edge to his voice.
“I’d prefer to just… walk alone.” Emerald countered, crossing her arms.
“… I can’t let you do that. ”
Emerald looked back suddenly, the feeling of a need to escape amplifying as his words alone felt like being trapped.
“ What ?” She asked quietly, genuine surprise in her shaking voice.
Greg scratched the base of his neck, a sheen of sweat on his face. Emerald was reminded of her gem in the same spot, suddenly amplified by his next words.
“…Garnet said you can’t be by yourself.”
Emerald felt something in her chest tighten.
He knew .
He had to.
“It’s fine , Greg.” She said quickly, turning back to the door, feeling the need to get out of there right now .
She opened up the door, but before she could take a single step outside, a hand grabbed her wrist, pushing up the sleeve of her sweater in the process.
“ Emerald -“ Greg protested, but Emerald turned quickly, tearing herself out of his grip with a sudden strength that nearly hurt his hand.
“ DON'T TOUCH ME !” She shrieked, her teeth grit to show sharp fangs that he had never noticed before. She acted like a frightened animal, and Greg realized he had messed up badly .
Emerald suddenly seemed to realize who she was talking to, and tears pricked her eyes as she inhaled sharply, leaning back.
“S-sorry, I-“ Her breaths were uneven and quick, and she didn’t seem to hear Ella mewling at her from the floor. Her hand wrung over her wrist, and she shut her eyes tight.
“ No- stop- “ she said quickly, turning away from him as her shoulders shook. “ Not right now- “
“Emerald? What’s going on?” Greg asked, but Emerald seemed panicked and scared as she started to hyperventilate.
“I can’t- stop it- “
“Emerald.” A steady voice said, and when Emerald looked up through blurred tears, Videlia and Barb were standing by the stairs. Ella was in Videlia’s arms, although squirming a bit.
“C’mere.” Barb said, opening her arms. Emerald went to her, scared of her own fear and panic, and Barb held her gently.
“Breathe.” She said, before gently setting a hand on Emerald’s head to encourage her to lean against her. When she eventually did Barb moved it, holding it out as though she was looking for a high-five.
Emerald shakily pressed her own against it, and followed the human in taking deep breaths until the attack faded.
“You’re holding a lot in there, huh.” Barb commented, giving her another hug before letting go. Emerald picked up Ella from where Videlia had let her go, holding her close to her face so her words were muffled.
“ Sorry I ruined the game. ”
“Don’t worry ‘bout it.” Barb commented. “I had a great uncle that used to get these.”
“ Why are you guys acting like there isn’t something wrong with me? ” Emerald asked quietly, feeling tears prick her eyes again.
“Hey, You may look different, but there’s nothing wrong with you.” Videlia said, crossing her arms.
. . .
On the ride home Emerald held Ella close, as the cat nuzzled against her neck while purring.
“ Sorry I yelled at you. ” She murmured, and Greg was quick to respond.
“It’s alright. Are you okay?” He asked, glancing over before looking back at the road. They had been out for a while, and it was already getting dark with the new moon.
“ No . Sometimes I just… want it all to stop. ” She whispered, holding Ella closer and hiding her face in her soft fur.
“Want what to stop?” Greg asked, and Emerald forced herself to glance up, even if it meant she had to see her glowing eyes reflected in the windshield.
“ My head… It's so loud . And with that, paired with everything else… ” she looked away from him, closing her eyes again. “… Sometimes I think the only way everything can be good again is if I’m not here. ”
Suddenly Greg turned on his turning signal, even though they were still on the main road. He pulled over, before reaching up to turn on the car’s interior light to see better.
“I don’t think that’s true.” He said, crossing his arms and leaning on his armrest. “Steven and the gems missed you a lot , Emerald.”
“ I know .” She murmured. “I just don’t know why , when all I’ve brought them is more problems.”
Greg paused for a moment, but spoke as though the answer was obvious. “…They love you.”
“ How can they love something unlovable? ” She asked, and Greg spoke as soon as the words left her mouth.
“Some one .”
“ What ?” Emerald asked quietly, and Greg looked her in the eyes as he spoke with the most seriousness she had ever heard from him.
“You have feelings too, Emerald… And you’re not unlovable.”
She felt tears prick her eyes at the words, but she stuffed everything down and buried her face in Ella’s fur once more.
“Besides… All of us love having you around to play cards.” Greg said, before the van began to move again.
. . .
Upon arriving home, Emerald opened the door before letting Ella run off. She wasn’t paying much attention as she turned, doing her best to close the door quietly as Steven must’ve gone to bed.
However, she nearly jumped when someone spoke behind her.
“ How was it? ”
She turned quickly, startled before she realized who it was. She exhaled, setting a hand on her chest.“… Garnet .”
“ Sorry .” Garnet murmured.
“ Are you alright? ” Pearl asked, standing up from where the two of them had been sitting on the couch. Emerald wondered how the two of them could see, if at all, when even she could only see in dull grays.
“ Yeah, I just… ” She felt the feelings come back, tears pricking her eyes once more. She quickly wiped the heel of her hand over her eye, sniffing. “ I’m really… fine… ”
She couldn’t stop crying, the tears starting to drip off her chin. Garnet and Pearl closed in for a hug, and her breath hitched with hiccups.
It felt like Greg’s words had her tearing apart on the inside, splitting her into the half that desperately wanted to believe that she could be some one and not some thing …
…and the half that could never believe it.
Notes:
First day of thanksgiving break!!!
Chapter 57: No Matter What
Summary:
Emerald has some visitors.
Chapter Text
“Family is more than blood, it is heart, it is the courage to be present in people’s lives and to bear other people’s burdens.”
-Unknown
. . .
Garnet was closer than usual today.
After she had broken down the night before, it made sense that Garnet would want to stay close, but it felt somewhat odd to be leaning against the fusions side, a careful yet strong arm around her.
Steven was the only one who had gone to Little Homeworld today, the others deciding to take a day off and stay home. Pearl and Amethyst had tried to convince him to take a break as well, but he said that he liked helping everyone out, and he got to meet a lot of new gems.
Amethyst said she was going to go take a nap in her room and generally have some alone time, but Garnet and Pearl decided to stay outside the temple with Emerald.
It was well into the afternoon when Steven returned, although it was hours before he had said he would be. He came up the stairs slowly as well, looking rather nervous.
“You’re back early.” Pearl commented, the three of them looking over at him. Steven scratched the back of his neck, a gesture that reminded Emerald of Greg.
“About that…” Steven said hesitantly, and Garnet held Emerald just a hir tighter, as though something was coming.
“Rhodonite and the Rutiles are here.”
Immediately everyone in the room was looking at Emerald. Her breaths quickened at the attention as well as his words. She felt ill at the idea of Rhodonite and The Twins seeing her like this, hiding her ruined skin under a sweater and fragile to the point that the right words had her falling apart.
Suddenly she was thankful for Garnet’s arm, and the sturdy comfort the fusion provided by proximity. She swallowed, a gesture she wasn’t used to, leaning more against Garnet’s side.
“ Tell them to leave. ” She said eventually. She tried her best to keep her voice steady, but her nerves leaked through regardless.
“Is everything alright?” Pearl asked, gracefully striding across the room from where she stood in the kitchen to sit on Emerald’s other side.
“ Do they know? ” Emerald asked softly in response, her voice quiet as she sounded like she was on the verge of tears, looking down.
“I…” Pearl hesitated, looking up to Garnet.
“Yes.” Garnet admitted.
The single word felt to tear into Emerald’s metaphorical heart, and everything felt to be crumbling. Tears stung her eyes, and she could feel herself starting to tremble as she buried her head in Garnet’s side.
She wanted to say that she couldn’t bear to face her other family when they knew what she had done, but she couldn’t find the coherent words.
“ I’ll… tell them you can’t talk. ” Steven said sadly, before pushing out the screen door.
. . .
Rhodonite’s ruby hands fidgeted, and her Pearl arms hugged herself. Her nerves were at an all-time high as she held onto herself, and The Twins looked hardly better.
Garnet had been the one to take them aside and explain what was going on, and what Emerald had done to herself not long ago.
It was just the two of them, as Padparadscha wasn’t taking the news well. Fluorite had offered to stay with her while the two of them went, citing that she wouldn’t be able to enter the house anyway.
Lars had decided to take a step back on this issue, understanding that while he was a part of their metaphorical family now, these sorts of things weren’t his strong suit, and he didn’t want to make the situation worse since he and Emerald still didn’t know each other personally that well yet.
Eventually after a few minutes Steven came outside again, coming down the wooden stairs slowly.
When he approached them his hands were fidgeting as well, and he didn’t look at them directly. “ She uh… can’t talk right now. ”
Rhodonite sighed, understanding from his demeanor that it wasn’t his decision to make.
However, the twins crossed their arms, frowning. “Nonsense.” One of them said, before they started toward the stairs. Rhodonite was quick to follow, just as worried but far less argumentative.
“Guys-!” Steven called, but stopped and stood there when he realized that there was nothing he could say or do to make them change their minds about talking to Emerald regardless of what she asked.
. . .
When she heard the multiple pairs of footsteps coming upstairs Emerald couldn’t look at the door, only able to curl up tight as though it would make her invisible.
“ Emerald ?” One of the Rutiles called softly. At this point she couldn’t stop the flood of tears, still trembling.
Suddenly Pearl stood up, and she could feel Garnet’s sturdy presence moving away as well. Her sight was blurred with tears now, and suddenly she felt exposed , leaning sideways against the couch.
Then the footsteps came closer, and someone sat in front and behind her. Slowly, so that she wouldn’t scare her again, Rhodonite wrapped all four arms around her from behind.
“ Please stop hiding from us. ” The fusion murmured close to her. The words made a sob tear through Emerald’s throat, and she felt the Rutiles wrap their arms around her as well.
Steven stood next to Pearl and Garnet as he came in, the former setting a hand on his back as they looked at the four of them.
“ We’ll always love you… ” One of the Rutiles said, and the other one finished her statement.
“ …no matter what. ”
Chapter 58: Quiet & Desolate
Summary:
Garnet won’t let Emerald be alone.
Emerald and Pearl find themselves opening up to one another.
Chapter Text
“The light in her eyes was stolen by the sadness in her heart”
-d.s.
. . .
Emerald stared at the wall, lost in thought as Garnet looked at the magazine in her lap, counting down in her mind.
Just as she reached zero Emerald sighed, shutting her eyes tightly. When she opened them she moved for the first time in a few hours, setting her feet down on the floor from where she had herself tucked into the corner of the couch.
She set Ella, who had been laying in her lap, on the floor.
. . .
“ I’m going for a walk. ” Emerald said simply, pushing off the couch to stand. It was slightly disorienting, but she forced herself to stay planted where she stood.
Ella mewled at her, but she held out a hand to tell her she couldn’t come.
“ Not by yourself. ” Garnet countered, not looking up from her magazine that she had been diligently reading for the last few hours, while Emerald fell deeper and deeper into her own mind and the pain that lay within it.
“It’s fine , Garnet.” She protested, crossing her arms.
“At least wait a moment, and Pearl can go with you.” Garnet replied simply, hesitantly turning the page.
“I’ll be f-“
Emerald was interrupted by the bright glow and ringing sound of the warp pad, and when the light retreated, Pearl was standing on its polished surface.
“Pearl, will you go with Emerald?” Garnet asked after a few moments, standing up off the couch as well. She set her magazine down on the table, crossing her arms as if to make a point.
Pearl glanced at Emerald, before smiling softly and looking back at Garnet. “Of course.”
“I just said I’m fine on my own.” Emerald protested, irritated that she wasn’t listening.
Suddenly she remembered what Greg had told her, about how Garnet instructed him to not leave her alone, gaining a sinking feeling in her chest.
“ Do you guys… not trust me? ” She asked hesitantly. There was a moment of hesitation between them, in which Pearl looked down at the floor and Garnet squared her shoulders.
“No.” Garnet said simply after a moment, and Emerald felt something pull at her chest, akin to nails gripping the inside of her skin rather than the outside .
She sighed, glancing away as she held herself tighter, her own nails digging into her sweater despite herself. “ …okay .”
. . .
The two gems walked along the beach in complete silence.
The sun was setting on the horizon, and Pearl purposefully walked on the side with the ocean so that her shadow would cover Emerald’s eyes.
She didn’t know where they were going, only that Emerald was uncomfortable with her being there.
She supposed that was unavoidable, especially if Emerald had been planning to do something to herself after leaving home.
Pearl couldn’t stop her the first time, but she would never let it happen again.
Even if she had to hold Emerald’s hands in her own for eternity so they didn’t hurt her again. She would do it, if it meant that she had a better chance to live this time.
. . .
Lapis was the only other one who had ever been to her spot under the tree near Little Homeworld, but Emerald supposed someone else was bound to be there eventually.
As soon as she reached a spot under its rustling branches, she slowly sat down. Pearl did the same, the two of them sitting in silence as the pale gem wrung her hands in her lap.
Eventually even sitting felt too much for the weight in her chest, and Emerald braced herself with a hand to adjust to lay down. Again Pearl followed despite her propensity for avoiding dirt, the two of them laying in the rustling grass facing one another.
She looked at where Pearl’s hair curled to brush up against her cheek, and to where her gem was covered by the shadows of drifting leaves in the last of the light.
Then she looked into her soft sky-colored eyes, wondering what she saw in turn.
Did she see how tired Emerald herself felt? How empty inside?
Did she look into her eyes with pain, knowing the true nature of their darkened color and the scars that surrounded them?
Suddenly she felt deeply ashamed at the thought of her reflection, the weight in her chest becoming barbed; almost painful. She felt tears sting her eyes, and by reflex she lifted her hand to cover them as best as she could, curling in on herself slightly as her limited vision through her fingers was blurred by them.
She heard a rusting as Pearl moved closer, before flinching slightly as she felt a touch to her shoulder. At that it disappeared, only to reappear as Pearl gently set her hand over Emerald’s.
She slowly wrapped her fingers around the edges of her hand until she could carefully pull it away, before lacing their fingers together so their hands lay between them.
“ I’m sorry. ” Emerald managed to choke out, sniveling.
“ You don’t need to be.” Pearl responded in a gentle tone, one that Emerald thought would break her.
Emerald let go of her hand, using the heel of her own to wipe the tears away as she forced her voice to remain stable. “ I know that, I just… I’m sorry that you have to put up with all of my problems… especially you. ”
There was a moment of silence that followed, and when she believed to have successfully pressed all the bad feelings down, she continued. She looked down at the grass beneath her, unable to bear looking into those wonderful eyes.
“… What’s one year, compared to so much longer? It’s not like we’ve known each other for a long time, and yet, you still keep following, every time I run. ”
“Of course I do.” Pearl protested, and for the first time Emerald noticed her hand held tightly in a fist as it laced against the ground. Then her hand suddenly softened and she carefully reached forward again, brushing Emerald’s cheek gently. “ …Even if you don’t see it… you’re worth every moment. ”
The care Pearl gave as she gently touched her skin was almost burning in itself, but Emerald felt she would break apart if she moved her hand away.
She didn’t.
There were a few moments of silence, before Pearl glanced away, speaking softer than before.
“ …I tried to follow you after it happened. ”
“ What ?” Emerald asked genuinely under her breath. She knew what Pearl meant, knew she was referring to that day Steven found her in the woods, foolishly on the run from her own friends with her gem cracked to near shattering.
“ Amethyst pulled me back so that Steven could heal my gem. ” Pearl continued.
“ …Why ?” Emerald found it in her to ask. Why hadn’t she just let her go? Why couldn’t she just let her die and move on ?
“ You were scared. ” Was Pearl’s only response, meeting her eyes again. She opened her hand, carefully touching the side of Emerald’s face. Her touch drifted a bit, tracing the edge of Emerald’s eye and carefully caressing her jawline.
“ …Why didn’t you tell us that you’re feeling this way? ” She asked, and this time Emerald was the one to look away. She felt tears prick her eyes again, feeling the urge to pull her hair to force herself back into stability. Unfortunately Pearl’s arm was blocking her way, and she opted instead to grip the grass tightly.
“ Everyone… you’re all happy . I’m… not .” She forced out. “ And I… don’t want to be the thing that pulls everyone apart again. ”
“ …Again ?” Pearl murmured softly.
“ Amethyst said you spent a lot of time away from everyone after I got myself shattered. ” Emerald responded,feeling a tear slip down the side of her cheek to the grass below. “… And I know now that my leaving broke Rhodonite apart, too. ”
The look in Pearl’s eyes told her that Amethyst hadn’t shared the details of their argument, and that she hadn’t known that Emerald knew this much about what transpired after her shattering.
“ …I’m so sorry I hurt you like that. ” She choked out, and Pearl immediately protested.
“ I told you- “
“No… I meant…” Emerald frantically tried to correct herself, only stumbling over her words as her voice trembled. “ I’m sorry… I’m sorry I… made you... mourn me. ”
At that Pearl’s touch halted, but Emerald didn’t stop.
“ You’d already lost everyone else but us… And then I had to go and make you lose me too. ” She sniffed, feeling tears trailing down again. “ …I’m sorry that I made you care about me so much that it hurt to lose me. ”
“ Emerald… ” Pearl said, her own voice as gentle as her touch as it resumed. “ None of that was your fault.”
Neither of them could look the other in the eye, looking at the grass or the stars.
“ I… have a hard time opening up, sometimes. I was hurt after you left. ” Pearl answered truthfully, sighing. “ But it wasn’t your fault I did what I did. I pushed everyone away because I couldn’t stand someone telling me it was going to get better after that . ”
At that she was finally able to look Emerald in the eyes again, putting as much care into them as she could muster,
“I did care about you. I still do.” She stated, as though it was nothing but fact. “But please… don’t blame yourself for how I acted.”
Emerald tilted her head down a bit, looking away as her cheek pressed into the ground.
“ Wouldn’t everything be better if I just… drifted away? ” She asked, hearing the desolation in her own voice.
Pearl suddenly moved her hand, pulling her into a hug despite the two of them laying sideways awkwardly. She held on with a gentleness as to not trigger anything in Emerald’s fragile state, yet held on as though she would never let go.
After a long moment of complete silence as Emerald found herself close to breaking apart, she managed to speak in a meek voice. “… Pearl? ”
“ No .” Pearl whispered close, and suddenly she sounded on the verge of tears as well, before Emerald felt a cold drop land on her neck from where Pearl had buried her face in her shoulder. “ …If you’re going to drift away… then I’m going to hold on. ”
At her words Emerald finally crumbled to pieces, breaking into sobs as she clutched the back of Pearl’s jacket tightly so she wouldn’t let go and leave her empty again.
The two of them held each other for what felt like hours, sobbing and clinging desperately to any hope of stability until the sun had started to break the horizon once again.
Then they went home together, the two of them a little less empty.
Notes:
Me: it can’t be that late, right?
*looks at clock*
Clock: *reads 2am*
Me: O-o
. . .
Y’all THIS is what happens when I listen to music from the wicked movie while writing past midnight
… which means no doubt I’ll be doing so again, cause damn it i LIKE the way this one turned out.
Chapter 59: Lean on Me
Summary:
Pearl decides to check on Emerald early.
Chapter Text
“The little things? The little moments? They aren’t little.”
-Jon Kabat-Zinn
. . .
As the weeks went by, the wind began to blow colder. The leaves were falling once again, and Steven and Connie were going around town offering to rake the human’s lawns. Garnet and Amethyst were still working on Little Homeworld with the others, while Pearl was headed to the warp to check on Emerald.
The wind blew against Pearl’s hair and gem as she walked against it, though she hardly noticed. It was the first time they had let Emerald be home alone since she had returned after deforming herself almost two months ago, and though they had said they'd be back in an hour or two, Pearl’s nerves got the better of her after only twenty minutes.
What made them decide on today was that with the snowy months coming soon, they wanted to get as much work done on Little Homeworld as possible before the weather got too bad.
Emerald had been starting to genuinely smile more, something that brought warmth to Pearl’s metaphorical heart. Not everything was better, but as time went on, she seemed a bit happier.
There were still some days when Emerald seemed at her lowest, but in the whole, she seemed to be doing better.
. . .
When Pearl warped in she heard a low melodic sound, and it took her a few moments to realize what was going on.
Emerald was sitting in the spot in the windowsill, her reflection showing that her eyes were closed. Her head rested against the window, her hand petting Ella in her lap. She had a simple pair of headphones on, and looked so relaxed ; happy even.
And she was humming .
Pearl recognized the song, having heard it back when Greg used to play some of his collected music tapes for Rose after they first started ‘dating’, as Greg called it.
Lean on me
When you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Till I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on.
. . .
After another few moments, Emerald’s eyes drifted open. She jumped slightly when she saw Pearl in the reflection of the window, before turning with a smile.
“Oh! Pearl!” She clicked a button on the walkman in her hand, before picking Ella up off her lap. She stood up, setting the cat down on the cushion. “I didn’t notice you were back early. How’s the construction?”
She took off the headphones, and Pearl could see that she had shapeshifted human ears. Her hair was tucked behind the right one, a small detail that betrayed the gem’s tendency to fiddle with it.
Realizing she had asked a question, Pearl blinked a few times and refocused before responding. “…It’s going well.”
Emerald walked over and set down the walkman and headphones on the table next to a cardboard box, before turning back to her and leaning back against it. “Greg came by, He was showing me some of his old tapes that he brought for Steven, and after he left I wanted to hear more. I figured Steven wouldn’t mind.”
She glanced away with a small smile, before looking back. “Do you have to get back? Or…”
“I really should… ” Pearl started, but instead of turning and heading back to the warp, she went the wrong way. Emerald’s eyes followed her as she did, turning to watch as Pearl settled herself down on the couch and patted the spot next to her. “…but, I think I’d rather be here.”
Emerald smiled softly, before sidestepping the table to sit next to her. It felt natural by now to lean against Pearl’s shoulder, so she did just that. As she did she felt a slight flush on her face, but she couldn’t understand why. Instead of thinking about that, she opened one eye and looked up at Pearl.
Pearl was looking down at her with a small smile of her own, the edges of her own cheeks flushed turquoise.
Emerald leaned her head against her shoulder, closing her eyes. “… Me too. ”
Chapter 60: A Good Day [Part 1]
Summary:
Pearl has an important realization
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Falling in love with someone you had no intentions on falling for, is the most beautiful kind of love. No forcing chemistry, or trying to save them. Just a pure, raw connection that created on its own.
-sara sheehan
. . .
As the weeks went by, Pearl slowly learned to differentiate the smallest things that could tell her if Emerald was having a good day or a bad one.
Emerald still wore a sweater all the time, but when she was having a bad day she would stare at the ends of the sleeves, or do things like reading books close to her face to hide without hiding, if she read them at all.
When she was having a good day she would on occasions ask questions about whatever she was reading the way she had before, and would often sit closer, silently making it clear that if asked, she would be happy to hug someone for a while.
Today was a good day, where Emerald leaned against her shoulder reading while Pearl worked on her crocheting. It was one of the most comfortable silences Pearl had ever experienced, the two of them fulfilled with each other’s company.
“…I don’t understand this.” Emerald said suddenly, holding her books closer to her face.
“Here, let me look.” Pearl said, setting down her project. Emerald moved the book so she could see, frowning.
“Why do the protagonists always make such brash decisions? Don’t they care about anyone else?” Emerald asked, gesturing to the pages.
Pearl smiled at that, leaning back and picking up her crochet hook again. “I believe it’s meant to represent them caring about everyone else more than themselves.”
“But I agree with you.” She nudged Emerald’s shoulder, the two of them smiling at one another before resuming their activities.
“I mean, it is rather strange.”
Emerald made a shrugging motion to emphasize her point, that Pearl only saw out of the corner of her eye. Mistakenly thinking she was offering, she placed her own hand into Emerald’s upturned palm.
“I guess we’ll never-“
Emerald abruptly cut off, causing Pearl to look up at her. She was staring at their hands, a deep flush on her cheeks. Then she glanced up to Pearl, who, realizing what must’ve happened, quickly pulled her hand back as her own cheeks flushed.
“Ah! Sorry- I thought-“ Pearl stumbled over her words, knowing that her entire face was probably flushed now. Suddenly Emerald started laughing lightly, giving her an awkward smile.
Pearl felt her cheeks warm even further at the sight, suddenly noticing for what felt the first time just how wonderful her laugh was. Suddenly she longed for their hands to meet again, if it would mean hearing more of her laugh, or seeing more of her smile.
She glanced down for a moment, but just as her hand started to reach out, Amethyst burst the door open with a loud BANG .
“ BOOM , BABY!” She said dramatically, before laughing so hard she started wheezing. Steven was quick behind her, also laughing at how stunned the two gems looked. Emerald had since stopped laughing, looking at them as well when the noise came.
She tilted her head slightly, a gesture that Pearl thought endearing.
“ …What ?” She asked, clearly confused at the reference.
“- What ?” She asked again, looking back at Pearl.
Stars , Pearl thought she was going to spontaneously combust from that. Emerald’s nose was scrunched slightly and her right eye squinted a bit, giving her a look of pure confusion.
“Oh, Amethyst!” Pearl said, standing up far too quickly. “I just realized I forgot something in the temple-“
“What?” Amethyst asked, but Pearl didn’t respond. She marched herself into the temple without another word, and as soon as the door shut she exhaled a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.
She quickly went to the edge of the water, before splashing some on herself. Usually she didn’t like to do such things, as it left her unkempt, but at this moment she was hardly focused on that.
She could feel the heat on her face still, and she sat down, pressing her cool hands against her cheeks to try to stop it.
“Oh, what’s wrong with me?” She asked to the empty room, before setting her face in her hands.
She tried to think back to the last time she felt like this, before she remembered. She tried to think back, had she ever felt like this before?
. . .
It was a day early on in the rebellion back when it was just the two of them. Rose was laughing as she tossed flower petals into the air, and Pearl felt this same fluttery feeling in her chest. Rose smiled at her, and Pearl thought she would deform from the thrill of it.
. . .
Her eyes opened slowly, realizing what these feelings must be. She sighed, sitting with her knees tucked into her chest.
It had only been fourteen years, was that too short to truly move on? It had only been a little over a year, was that too short to fall in love again?
Pearl looked up at the flowing lights above her pools. They were meant to mimic the aurora borealis, something that she had always found beautiful. Now, it served as a reminder of the first time she and Emerald were Granite, looking at them together.
Then Pearl remembered every mistake she had ever made to hurt Emerald, the lies that led to heartbreak, and every hurt she couldn’t protect her from.
Could she even love again, without ruining everything?
Notes:
Early chapter, but I split this one into two!
Chapter 61: A Good Day [Part 2]
Summary:
Pearl’s confused.
Someone helps.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“What’s up with her ?” Amethyst asked as soon as Pearl had left. She thought it would be funny to reference one of Steven’s favorite movies (besides all of the Lonely Blade series), but she had just… left.
Emerald stared at the temple door, and Amethyst could hear a bit of sadness as well as confusion in her voice. “… I don’t know. ”
. . .
When Pearl opened up the temple door again, it was dark outside. The house was dark as well, Steven having gone to bed. Pearl walked carefully through the shadows, although she didn’t quite know why. She told herself that she just didn’t want to wake Steven up, although she knew that since his room was more closed off she didn’t have to walk carefully.
“… Pearl ?”
Suddenly something moved in the corner of the couch, and Emerald’s bright green eyes became visible. Their color was sharp in the darkness, and the small light casted small shadows on the edges of the gem’s features.
Emerald was quick to get up, setting the book down on the couch where she had been. She walked around the table easily, and Pearl had a passing wonder if she could see in the dark.
“ Are you alright? ” Emerald asked. “ You just... left … and didn’t come back. ”
Pearl forced herself to weakly give her a small smile. “Yes, I’m alright… I’ll be back by the time Steven wakes up, I just… need some time to myself.”
“I understand.” Emerald said with a nod, a blur in the dark where she wrung her hands. “But I’ll be here… if you want to talk about it.” Pearl saw a glint of light where Emerald gave her a hesitant smile.
“ ...I know. ” Despite everything, Pearl found herself giving her a genuine smile in return, before a slight bit of sadness filled her chest.
But you’re the last gem I should talk about it with.
. . .
As Pearl walked across the beach, she looked down at her hand absentmindedly. The lines in her palm were hard to see in the dark, but she knew they were there.
She set it in her other one, rubbing her thumb over her palm. She laced her fingers together, and for just a moment she could pretend they were Emerald’s.
She sighed, feeling her face grow warm before separating them and hugging herself.
As she walked in the darkness past Beach City and around the edges of Little Honeworld’s foundation in the fields, she missed the van parked nearby.
Each step she took felt like moving backwards, despite her trajectory being the opposite. She climbed the hill that overlooked beach city, sitting down in the lush grass.
Human’s had nicknamed this hill ‘brooding hill’, and she could understand why. It was one of those places, rare to find yet hidden, where one could truly be alone to think.
She looked down at her hands again, before closing them. She felt a strange feeling akin to dread sink into her chest, confused at her own neediness to be longing like this.
Pearls as gems were often clingy, designed as another thread to keep them tied to their owners. While she had been suppressing that need for contact for thousands of years, sometimes it slipped through the cracks.
It showed when she would latch onto Garnet for strength, when she would hold Amethyst in a hug for just a few moments too long, and when she couldn’t resist lacing their fingers together when she held Emerald’s hand.
Rose had always encouraged her to move away from such habits, to fight against what her program demanded and become her own gem.
Now, she just felt torn into two different directions; two ideas where neither seemed more favorable.
What her program demanded her to want and need, and what Rose wanted her to have.
In that sense, Pearl felt like she hardly knew what she wanted, at least, not anymore.
Some part of her mind whispered that she did know who she wanted, the thought alone making her flush a bright turquoise.
It felt oddly terrifying and confusing to even think about interacting with Emerald in a romantic sense, and as soon as she saw her gem glowing, she set her hand over it.
She didn’t feel like projecting her mind at the moment, when she didn’t know what it would become.
The grass rustled behind her, although she figured it was just the wind. She looked out to sea, where the sun had just begun to rise in colors fit for a renaissance painting.
After a few moments, however, she heard someone speaking to her.
“ Pearl ? What are you doing up here?”
Greg sat down cross-legged on the grass next to her, leaning back. He was always so casual , something Pearl never really understood , but respected regardless.
“Thinking.” She said plainly, continuing to look out at the sun over the ocean. Greg leaned his elbow on his knee, moving to rest his head in his hands as he looked out as well.
“What’s on your mind?”
Unable to resist, she glanced down at her hands again. “…. A lot of things. ”
“Wanna talk about it?”
Pearl’s lips pursed into a frown, debating the odds of Greg understanding what was truly wrong at the center of her thoughts; that she wasn’t meant to be thinking this freely, and that sometimes she still felt scared to.
She took a deep breath, the air noticeably cold, before speaking simply, choosing to go with the problem that would be easiest for him to understand. “ …I think I might be in love. ”
Greg smiled immediately at that, never thinking that Pearl of all people would be falling for someone.
“Really!? That’s-!”
“It’s… different from what I had with Rose.” She interrupted, and Greg softened a bit as he realized that this was more complex than he had thought. “ … I feel like I’ve been failing her too much. ”
“Pearl, it’s not failing Rose to be in love with someone else.” He said plainly, although he knew that both of them were aware that he had been staying away from relationships himself after Rose left them.
“It’s not about that.” Pearl said, wringing her hands in her lap. “…Well, maybe that’s a small portion. The real problem I have is that I’m worried something might be wrong with me.”
She sighed again, littering her hand up to her gem. It was smooth as always under her fingers, and it was hard to believe that the core of her problems were deeper than any accessible layer of it.
“These past few years I’ve been slipping, doing things that I’m not supposed to.” She said absentmindedly.
“Like what?” Greg looked over at her now, and she frowned as she looked down at the grass blowing in the wind.
“…Standing still when there’s nothing to be done... Acting clingy .”
Her hand drifted down, brushing across her lips.
“ …sharing secrets .”
Greg frowned, looking away from her for a few moments. He sighed, before turning in her direction and speaking. “. ..Would I be a terrible person if I told you that after Steven explained what happened and who she really was, everything that happened with you made a lot more sense? ”
Pearl felt that same weight of dread, remembering how awful she truly had been to him, purely for being closer to Rose than she was. It was possessive , it was selfish , and it was wrong .
…it was exactly what a Pearl with no enforced limits on her words would say.
“No.” She said simply, sighing once more. “I did… I do love her, still. Even if it’s not the same way as I did before.”
She lightly pressed her fingers into her temples, gritting her teeth a bit. “But… I’m terrified of where that love could have started.”
Greg frowned, crossing his arms and leaning on them as she continued. “…I’m scared it’s not even real.”
She massaged her temples slowly, although her hands themselves were tense. “I’m starting to wonder how many of my decisions are truly my own , and how many are just everything I’ve worked so hard for slipping and showing that in the end I’ll always be… just a Pearl .”
The last word was said with a distinctive degree of spite, something Greg picked up on easily. Pearl felt a tear trickle down her cheek, and she wiped it off with the edge of her hand.
“ …Add being overly emotional to that list. ”
“Hey. C'mere.” Greg opened his arm, and when Pearl reluctantly moved closer, he reached to set his arm over her shoulders.
He spoke with a degree of seriousness, and a hint of sadness that Perl knew they shared. “Your love for Rose is real . I can see that much.”
He smiled a bit, though she could see that he was doing it for her. “-And I think your love for whoever else is real, too.”
“ Whomever .” Pearl corrected weakly, wiping her eyes with her wrist.
Greg chuckled a bit. “ There’s the Pearl I know.”
Pearl glanced away, though she couldn’t help the small smile on her face. “ I would counter that I’m the only Pearl you know, but with everything, I can’t say that for sure anymore. ”
“ Heh, Yeah… ” Greg chuckled lightly.
Pearl sat up again, frowning. Her hands clenched in her lap nervously, her chest tight.
“ ...may I ask you something? ” She murmured. Greg shrugged.
“Sure.”
As she spoke she laced her fingers together, worrying her thumbs. “ This… this question is more of a favor. I need you to be honest with me. If you don’t want to answer, I’ll understand. ”
“Alright.” He nodded.
Pearl spoke hesitantly, not knowing how he would respond to something like this . Her voice was quiet, scared to hear the answer. “ Was what Rose and I had… healthy ? ”
Greg lifted his head off his hand, frowning and looking away. “Are… you sure you want the answer to that?”
“I think I need it.” She murmured, looking out to sea again with a watery sheen in her eyes.
“If you’re asking me… I… I don’t think so.” He said, scratching the back of his head. It seemed like he wanted to say something else, but she spoke first.
“Do you think that’s why this new love feels so different? Because it’s… healthier ?”
Greg thought for a moment before responding, wanting to comfort her, before remembering she had asked for complete honesty.
“….Well, that depends. Who is it?”
Pearl’s cheeks flushed as she looked down, and despite the situation Greg found himself smiling. “…going to make me guess?”
He thought about, and in his mind the most likely option had to be the gem Pearl was always worrying about, and always enjoyed being with.
“ …Emerald ?” He asked, and Pearl’s cheeks became even darker.
“Ha! First try!” He joked with a laugh, before thinking deeper about the situation. “-But… are you sure that now’s a good time, what with everything she’s been going through?”
“I know it isn’t a good time.” Pearl said, looking out to sea. “I don’t plan on telling her any time soon.”
Needing something to do with her hands, Pearl absentmindedly picked a bright yellow flower, twirling it between her fingers.
“I wanted to figure all of this out first, and even then, I want to give her time to not have to deal with something like that. What she needs are friends right now, not someone who doesn’t even know what real love is.”
“Hey! I told you that-“ Greg protested, before Pearl cut him off.
“I know.”
She looked down at the flower, its petals moving in the gentle wind. “…But even that’s assuming quite a bit. She’s lived on Earth for over a year, but only half of that she’s actually been... here .”
She sighed deeply, the flower blowing away from her slightly. “…What I’m trying to say is, I doubt she feels the same way.”
The two of them sat in silence for what felt like a long time, the sun rising a bit more.
“Pearl?” Greg asked at some point, snapping the gem out of her stupor.
“Yes?”
Greg had a serious expression on his face, although he seemed uneasy. “I answered your question truthfully. Now I need you to answer one of mine.”
Pearl nodded, but nothing could’ve prepared her for what he would say next.
“ …How long did you keep Rose’s secrets before she forced you to? ”
She found herself staring at him with wide eyes, the flower falling from her fingertips. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, knowing he wouldn’t like the answer.
“ …A long time. ” She murmured eventually, reluctant to be specific as she looked away from him.
“Pearl.” He said seriously, and Pearl realized that of all things, he at least deserved to know this.
“… Almost three thousand years. ” She said quietly. Before he could say anything, she quickly added on. “- But - I don’t… I don’t think that she didn’t trust me.”
She paused for a moment, hugging herself. “… I want to believe she trusted me. ”
“….Y’know, I could never hate Rose.” Greg said after a moment. He frowned, before continuing. “…But what she did to you was wrong .”
Pearl felt a tight feeling in her chest, as tears stung her eyes.
“-And I don’t think enough people take the time to tell you that.” Greg said, setting a hand on her shoulder.
. . .
After a few minutes Pearl was able to reign herself in, wiping the tears away.
“ Thank you, Greg. ” She said weakly. She knew she would have to get home soon; she had told Emerald she would be home before Steven woke.
“Yknow, I’m glad I could help. What are friends for, after all?” Greg said with a smile, giving her a hug. Pearl could see tears in his eyes as well, that he adamantly wiped away.
“What indeed?” Pearl asked with a smile, giving him a hug in turn.
She would never understand how she had hated Greg so much, when now they could have these kinds of meaningful conversations, healing from the same loss.
Pearl let go eventually, standing up.
She felt ready to go home.
Notes:
Happy holidays, everyone!
I think this is probably my favorite of the chapters I’ve written to date!
Chapter 62: The Arena
Summary:
Emerald and Pearl train together.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Helping one
person might not
change the whole
world, but it could
change the
world for
one person.”
-Unknown
. . .
As the days continued to pass, Pearl attempted to put her feelings aside. It didn’t matter what she wanted, now wasn’t a good time to say anything about them.
The two of them had started training again together, even though it wasn’t as necessary since there were patrols of gems looking for any still corrupted.
Pearl watched as Emerald exchanged blows with her hologram, the sounds echoing across the ruined arena.
As time had gone on, Emerald had improved in fighting. The difficulty of the hologram increased with her, and Pearl kept watch to be sure that her movements remained flexible with no openings.
Emerald would often surprise her doing this, because despite her inexperience she was quick to notice the small details in the change of the hologram’s defences, the way Pearl herself did.
She found herself getting lost in the smallest details of the way she fought, from the way she remained light and quick on her feet, to the way she had her teeth grit slightly, fully focused.
Pearl's attention snapped back when she heard the thwack of wood on skin. Emerald inhaled sharply, kneeling down.
“ Oh my stars !”
Pearl quickly dissipated the hologram before it could hit her in the head, rushing over to make sure she wasn’t hurt. She kneeled in front of her, hesitating on touch as she didn’t know where she was hurt. “…Are you alright?”
Emerald was clutching her arm tightly, tears in the corners of her eyes.
“Here, let me!” Pearl said quickly, before suddenly lifting Emerald up in her arms.
. . .
“ Pearl !” Emerald broke into a smile, forgetting the stinging on her arm as she had to quickly wrap both arms around Pearl’s neck for balance.
Pearl quickly moved to set her down on the steps of the arena, kneeling in front of her. She took Emerald’s hands in her own, looking up at her with a soft expression.
“Are you hurt?” There was worry in her eyes, and Emerald smiled softly, squeezing her hands.
“I’m alright.”
Pearl nodded, before standing and brushing the dirt off her jeans. She sat herself down next to Emerald, although she didn’t say anything else.
Emerald hesitated for a moment, before deciding to speak. “…Pearl?”
“Yes?” Pearl said, looking over at her. Her eyes were focused solely on her, and Emerald had the impression that she had her full attention.
“…It hit me on the arm.” She finished with a hesitant smile, and she saw Pearl’s cheeks flush from embarrassment.
“ Oh .” Pearl glanced away, rubbing her own arm self-consciously. Emerald couldn’t help but laugh lightly at that, but when she lifted her arm to set her hand on Pearl’s she inhaled sharply at the pain the movement caused.
Pearl was quick to react, looking over again. “-Are you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m alright.” Emerald said, rubbing the stinging spot. Amethyst had given her a light ‘t-shirt’ from her room to use for training since it was more flexible than the sweater, but it also meant it felt as though the holo-Pearl had hit her skin.
. . .
“I just don’t have a high propensity for, well,… pain .” Emerald shrugged, brushing it off as though she hadn’t been struggling with that very thing for what felt like a long time.
It made Pearl’s heart ache to see her try to treat it as though it was nothing, when they both knew it wasn’t.
“…But I missed this.” Emerald continued, giving her a smile.
“Training?”
“Yeah. But also just… spending time together, when everything’s… alright.”
Pearl couldn’t help but smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I did too… but I’m just glad we can still spend time together at all.”
Emerald looked hurt at that, and Pearl realized that was probably the wrong thing to say. Then Emerald looked away, frowning.
“Sorry, I-“
Pearl’s apology was cut off when Emerald set her hand over hers, squeezing it gently. Pearl blinked in surprise, and when she looked up from it Emerald was looking at her with a tired smile. “… I’m glad you’re alive too. ”
Emerald leaned against her shoulder, and Pearl felt frozen. She felt her cheeks flush, and not knowing what to do she opted to keep staring forward.
Eventually she couldn’t resist looking down at Emerald again, noticing that her hair had become tangled from training the last few hours.
She cleared her throat gently, and Emerald moved off her shoulder, looking up at her. Pearl reached into her gem, pulling out a hairbrush before offering it to her.
“Here.”
“Thank you.” Emerald said reflexively, before looking down at it curiously.
Pearl looked forward once more, at where clouds spiraled around the remains of the arena.
She really had to be better about freezing up like that.
. . .
Emerald stared at the peculiar object Pearl had handed her, trying to figure out if it was a trinket, or if it had some kind of specific purpose.
“Uh… Pearl?” She asked eventually, and Pearl snapped out of her quiet. She blinked, before looking down at her.
“Hm?”
“What do I… do with this?” Emerald asked, holding it up.
“Oh! It’s for your hair.”
“Here…” Pearl held out a hand, and Emerald set it in her palm. Then she gestured to her hair, silently asking her to turn. “…Can I?”
Emerald was hesitant for a moment, before she slowly turned so that her back was to Pearl.
. . .
Pearl felt frozen for another moment, realizing how trusting Emerald was being with her. It wasn’t lost on her that Emerald didn’t like to turn her back on others, something that no doubt came from self preservation since her gem was located there.
And yet, as she had her back turned, she wasn’t even looking back to watch her as she would normally.
She was trusting Pearl with herself; trusting her not to take advantage of the situation.
She did her best to honor her trust and be gentle as she brushed Emerald’s hair, careful to hold it gently when she hit a knot without pulling her hair.
Things went on like that for a few minutes, until Pearl got closer to her scalp and felt Emerald shaking. It was the smallest thing, but it made her stop in her tracks completely.
“Are you alright?”
“… Yeah.. .” Emerald said eventually, although her voice was shaking. “…I’m just not used to…”
She trailed off, and suddenly Pearl felt the need to ask if anyone besides Emerald herself had touched her hair before she had. She had looked relaxed when Pearl had braided her hair a while back, but was she really , or had she been nervous?
Like everything that made Emerald nervous, Pearl knew that most likely it wasn’t a lack of experience that made her scared, but that the only experience she did have was with someone as far from gentle as one could get.
What did she do to you?
“Do you want me to stop?” She asked seriously, moving her hands away.
“ No… ” Emerald took a deep breath, hugging herself. “ …I want to get past it. ”
Pearl wanted to offer a hand to hold, but she needed both to make sure she didn’t hurt her. Thinking she could offer the next next thing, she moved away from Emerald for a moment before pulling a stuffed toy out of her gem.
It was an older one from when Steven was a bit younger, a white lamb with a sweet smile that he hadn’t taken to the same way as the bear his father gave him.
She hesitantly reached around Emerald’s side to offer it, and Emerald looked back at her with a soft look before gently lifting it out of her hands.
. . .
The stuffed creature was soft in Emerald’s hands, and she looked down at it.
It had small tufts of white fur, and gentle black eyes that looked sewn on. It had a similarly sewn pink nose, and a soft smile. It was comforting, something small that made her smile in turn, even if it didn’t reach her tired eyes.
Pearl had continued running the thing through her hair, and Emerald could tell she was trying to be as careful as possible. She was grateful for that; that Pearl was always so gentle with her.
Jasper used to pull her hair.
It was never enough pain to deform her by itself, so Jasper had never held back. She would often grab her hair to force Emerald to look her in the eyes; to see the enjoyment she got out of her pain.
When Pearl touched her hair it was a stark contrast, her touch nothing but gentle and even respectful . She saw how scary this was for her, and became even more so.
Although Emerald remembered many times Jasper had been violent when touching her hair, she pushed them aside, trying to focus on Pearl’s gentle touch now .
She wanted to move on.
. . .
The minutes continued to pass, and still nothing hurt. After what felt like a while, Emerald started to breathe normally, able to physically relax her shoulders. Her nerves would go away completely, but it was a start.
“… I’ve been thinking for a while about making my hair longer. ” She murmured after a long silence, and Pearl didn’t halt in her task as she responded.
“Any particular reason why?”
Emerald shrugged lightly, small enough that her head didn’t move. She ran her fingers over the individual tufts of fur of the stuffed creature, admiring how comforting it was.
“I don’t know.” She said, although that was a lie. She had been growing increasingly uncomfortable with having her gem out in the open, something she hardly wanted to vocalize. “I just… thought it might be nice. ”
. . .
They sat in silence for a few moments, before Emerald suddenly moved slightly.
“- Pearl? ” She asked, her nerves lacing her voice. Pearl looked up, realizing that without thinking, she had abandoned the hairbrush, opting instead to gently comb through the final strands with her fingers.
“Oh! S-sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me!” Pearl said quickly, letting go. She internally cursed herself for not paying better attention, especially when she knew how hard this was for Emerald already.
Emerald looked down at the stuffed animal still in her hands, before squeezing it a bit tighter. “ …It’s okay. ”
Suddenly Emerald moved back, closer to Pearl.
“ It’s okay. ” She repeated, although Pearl felt it was more to herself rather than her. “ …just… let me know next time? ”
“Of course.” Pearl said quickly. Emerald let out a long sigh, before leaning back. Pearl was quick to move, letting Emerald lean back against her chest even if she couldn’t breathe from how close they were.
“ …Can I? ” She asked hesitantly, gesturing her intent.
“ Mhm .” Emerald nodded, and Pearl gently moved some strands of hair out of her face, trying not to think about how soft her skin was. She looked at the braid on the left side of Emerald’s hair, and how it had become frayed despite her reformation.
She carefully ran two fingers along it, seeing Emerald watch her.
“It’s frayed so much… Is it okay if I fix it?” She asked, and Emerald blinked.
“ I don’t mind. ”
At the confirmation Pearl carefully slipped the bead off the end, watching as it dissipated into a flurry of small specks of light. She uncovers the strands, making sure they didn’t get tangled.
“ -And you don’t have to put it back if you don’t want to... ” Emerald said suddenly under her breath, and Pearl paused. “… After all, the source of the feeling is right here. ”
. . .
Pearl stopped suddenly, her hands moving away. “What do you mean?”
Emerald sat up quickly, not realizing she had said that out loud. She held the stuffed toy close to her chest, her cheeks flushing. “ …It’s silly. ”
She glanced back at Pearl, although not looking at her. “ I just… ”
She closed her eyes, not sure how Pearl would react. “ When we were in the library… I saw these symbols in a book. The one on the bead meant… safety . ”
She felt her cheeks flushing deeply, embarrassed. “ …Because you make me feel safe. ”
She slowly opened one eye, seeing Pearl’s reaction. The pale gem was frozen as she looked at her, her cheeks a bright turquoise. When Emerald glanced away again, she snapped out of it, smiling.
“It’s not silly.” She said, and Emerald looked back at her. When she saw the soft joy on Pearl’s features, she hesitantly leaned back against her again.
“ …All I want is for you to feel like that. ” Pearl murmured close to her, giving Emerald a hug. Emerald looked up at her, seeing tears in the corners of Pearl’s eyes that the other gem quickly wiped away. “- And I’m honored you think of me that way. ”
. . .
The two let go of their hug after a few minutes, and Emerald leaned on her side so that pearl could, with permission, finish with her hair.
Emerald felt tucked into Pearl’s care, feeling the slight rise and fall of her chest against her cheek as she mimicked the way humans breathed.
Suddenly without explanation, Emerald felt tears fill her eyes. She sniffled, and Pearl was quick to stop. She didn’t want her to stop, although she didn’t know how to vocalize it.
“ Are you alright? Did I hurt you? ” Pearl asked with a gentle voice, and Emerald tried to wipe the tears out of her eyes, still sniveling.
“ No .”
She didn’t know why she was crying. She wasn’t scared , or sad . She just felt so grateful it was overwhelming her in a way she couldn’t understand or explain.
“ S-sorry- I… ” She took a shaky breath, and despite her best efforts she couldn’t stop crying. “... Thank you.”
Pearl reached up, pulling a bright yellow flower out of her gem. She tucked it behind Emerald’s left ear, before giving her a hug.
“Thank you .” Pearl murmured, holding Emerald close.
Emerald couldn’t understand why Pearl would be thanking her , when the gem had given her so much.
The two of them held one another long after their tears had dried, both silently thanking whatever cosmic forces had landed them in this moment.
Notes:
Merry just-after Christmas!
Fun Fact, the lamb stuffed animal is based off of one my parents got at my baby shower, that I still have to this day! (I call her 'Lamby' :3)
Chapter 63: Tea
Summary:
Emerald talks to Kiki and Jenny
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Emerald twirled a strand of her hair around her finger absentmindedly, distracted. Her eyes drifted shut as she did so, thinking back to that moment with Pearl in the Sky Arena.
She hardly ever felt as relaxed as she did around Pearl, and it was nice to try to start working on feeling comfortable with things that were usually terrifying due to Jasper.
She couldn’t stop thinking about how strangely peaceful it had been, Pearl’s hands gentle as she combed them through her hair. When Emerald looked up at her, she had a soft smile that filled her eyes.
Emerald had always been someone who paid the most attention to eyes, as it was easier to decipher how someone really felt. Someone could smile, but their eyes would show their rage or discomfort.
Pearl’s eyes were sometimes worried or nervous when it came to her, but they never stopped caring.
Pearl never stopped caring.
“Emerald?”
Emerald was snapped out of it when Kiki spoke her name, and she realized she had lost track of the story the human was telling.
“I’m sorry- I wasn’t paying attention.” She said honestly, flushing with embarrassment, but both of the girls were smiling.
“Girl, spill the tea!” Jenny said jokingly, before resting her head on her closed hand as though Emerald was about to respond with the most important news of her life.
“What? Why? Nanefua made it…” Emerald said, looking over at the kettle. It was so sweet of her to make some for them, so why would Jenny want to make a mess of it?
“It’s an expression.” Kiki piped in, and Emerald looked back to her.
“Oh.”
“It means, who are you fawning over right now!?” Jenny asked enthusiastically.
“ Fawning ? I… I don’t understand.” Emerald tensed, not understanding the human words they were using.
“Do you have a crush on someone?” Kiki asked.
Emerald jumped a little at that, nervously asking “Why would I want to crush someone!?”
The two of them chuckled for a moment, after which Jenny took a deep breath. “…Let’s try this again.”
Emerald nodded, knowing they would have to explain what they meant.
“Were you thinking about someone while you were smiling a minute ago?” Jenny asked, squinting at her.
At that Emerald thought of Pearl’s smiling face above her, her cheeks involuntarily flushing in response. There was a moment of silence as she thought about it, hesitant to answer the question. “ I… uh… ”
“ Exactly .” Jenny said with a smile. “Now. Who were you thinking of?”
Emerald found herself hesitant to say the truth, growing more embarrassed as the silence went on.
“Jenny, you’re embarrassing her!” Kiki said with a frown, before turning to Emerald with a small smile. “…It’s not bad to be in love.”
“-I think.” She added after a moment, looking just as confused as Emerald felt. “I wouldn’t know.”
“Not helping!” Jenny countered with a facepalm, before addressing Emerald. “-It’s alright, we’re not going to judge you! You’re in love.”
“What?” Emerald asked seriously.
“Do you want to be closer to them?” Jenny asked, tilting her head slightly.
Emerald felt her cheeks warming again, not even having to think about the answer as she nodded.
“ Yes .”
“Pretty much all the time?”
Emerald nodded again, her eyes wide as they seemed to know exactly how she was feeling.
“Do they make you feel comfortable and happy?”
Again she nodded, understanding that they were right.
Was she in love?
“Again. We won’t judge you.” Kiki said with a smile. “We’re just here to help!”
Jenny tilted her head, smiling slightly. “Who is it?”
Emerald took a deep breath, knowing her whole face must be flushed by now. “ …Pearl .”
“Pearl. As in… the Pearl you live with?” Kiki questioned, before Emerald nodded shyly. The gem looked down, hunching her shoulders.
“Oh my gosh they were roommates .” Kiki said quietly, before Jenny shouted.
“THEY WERE ROOMMATES!”
The two of them were laughing so hard they were wheezing, but Emerald didn’t understand.
“What?” She asked eventually, when the two of them had calmed down and were wiping tears out of their eyes.
“Don’t worry about it.” Jenny said with a big smile, and Emerald frowned.
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” Kiki said with a smile.
Emerald sighed, setting her head down on her crossed arms.
Could
she even love, when before today she hadn’t even known the word?
Notes:
I wrote too much last night XD
Chapter 64: Exploring
Summary:
Emerald goes exploring to clear her mind.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“I do not remember
falling in love with you.
I just remember holding your hand
realizing how much it was going to hurt
when I would have to let it go.”
-Unknown
. . .
Emerald didn’t know how she would ‘figure it out ’, as Jenny so kindly put it.
Was ‘figuring it out’ something specific she was supposed to do to understand these strange feelings better?
She needed to clear her mind, and so she left a note for the others on the counter that said she had gone warping around.
She started to go to random warps she had never been to before, to take her mind off ‘figuring it out’.
One such warp led to the strawberry battlefield. She took a mental note of that, remembering when she had first understood how terrible the war really was, here in this field. Even now she was still grasping to the gravity of how many must’ve been corrupted, or worse.
The thought made her frown, before she warped away once again, trying to find a place she had never been before.
Opening her eyes again, she saw a field of pink hibiscus flowers, growing around a large pink palanquin. There were cliffs nearby where clouds gathered, merely whisps in the light. The lace that remained around the edges of the palanquin fluttered in the slight wind, and despite the beauty of the place Emerald felt ill.
She knew what had happened here.
Emerald was surprised to find herself harboring a strong bitterness for the place, knowing that this was the place where Rose had forced Pearl to keep her secrets, taking away the right to choose for herself.
When the blue light faded once more she was surrounded by dense jungle greenery, an environment she had read about, but had never seen.
There was a large crashed ship that the brush had been growing over, yet it was quiet besides the distant calls of various birds.
She continued to warp around, the sun in various positions in the sky wherever she went. Eventually she stumbled across a warp tucked into the brush, and when she pushed through the overgrowth, her eyes widened at the sight that lay before her.
. . .
Pearl sat on the couch, looking down at the note in her hands.
Emerald’s handwriting was a bit shaky, showing how she was much more used to reading words than writing them. Her spelling was perfection, something small that made Pearl smile as she made a mental note to ask her if she wanted to work on making the script itself neater.
She didn’t know how long Emerald had been gone, but as the sun had begun to set she had found herself the only one home. The others had decided to camp at Little Homeworld after Bismuth invited them, and she had come home to invite Emerald to come with.
Just before she left Garnet had murmured something about not needing to come back, which Pearl took to mean that the fusion’s future vision had told her that Emerald wasn’t home. Why she hadn’t just said that , Pearl didn't know.
Suddenly the warp pad lit up, and Pearl stored the note in her gem by reflex as she saw the gem on it.
Emerald smiled as soon as she saw her, quickly moving across the room. “Pearl!”
Pearl stood up to meet her as she approached, but while she though Emerald was going to give her a hug, she instead stopped in front of her.
“I wanted to show you something.” Emerald said, glancing away. When she looked back and saw Pearl nod, she offered her hands.
“Close your eyes!” She exclaimed with a bright smile, and Pearl felt a smile of her own grow as she did so.
“Alright.” Her world was plunged into darkness, and Emerald led her by the hands.
Emerald led her across the house, before telling her to step up. When Pearl did, she felt a solid surface beneath her. She heard the familiar sound of the warp pad activating, before light shone behind her eyelids.
With her eyes closed, Pearl was hyper aware of the texture of Emerald’s hands. They were rough, far more than her own were. It made Pearl wonder what Emerald did in her lifetime that made it easier to have her form this way, as the slight roughness of Pearl’s own was to easily grip sword and spear as she had during the war and after.
Emerald’s hand was slightly warm, and Pearl allowed herself to enjoy the experience, even if she could feel her face flushing.
Is this a date? She thought to herself as they landed at their supposed destination. It was an odd question, a concept that Amethyst had explained to her, but something she had never experienced firsthand.
“What’s a date?” Emerald asked, and Pearl realized that she must’ve asked aloud.
“I- nothing !” She said quickly, flushing as she knew she wouldn’t be able to explain the concept as well as Amethyst had.
She heard the rustling of leaves and bushes, and she felt leaves brush along her arm.
“Open!” Emerald said excitedly, moving out of the way as she did.
When Pearl’s eyes fluttered open, she gasped.
The light flowed like a river in the sky in hues of yellow and green, reflected onto a wide clear lake. In the distance there were towering mountains framing the star-scattered sky, and the beach around them was not made of sand, but of colorful stones.
Somehow it was a place on earth that she had never seen before, and she couldn’t stop looking in complete wonder.
Eventually she managed to tear her eyes away, looking over to Emerald to thank her for showing her this beautiful place.
Then her eyes were stuck all over again.
Emerald was looking up to the glowing sky, a bright smile on her face. The light in her eyes was somehow brighter than the aurora borealis itself, although figuratively or literally, Pearl couldn’t truly tell.
She looked truly and completely happy , in a way that Pearl had hardly seen in a long time.
. . .
Emerald eventually managed to tear her eyes away from the lights, looking over at Pearl to gauge her reaction. She was surprised to find Pearl was looking at her instead, before the two of them glanced away reflexively.
The two of them seemed to be of one mind, as when Emerald reached out blindly for Pearl’s hand she found they had met in the middle.
Pearl’s palm was cool as it always was, something that Emerald couldn’t help but smile at. She tilted her hand, Pearl doing the same until their fingers laced together like puzzle pieces.
“ How did you find this place? ” Pearl asked in a hushed whisper, the two of them suddenly shoulder-to-shoulder.
Emerald leaned her head against Pearl’s shoulder, and she saw the smile soften on Pearl’s face as she did.
“I went exploring .” Emerald responded in the same volume, not wanting to break the peaceful quiet with loud noises. “ ...We should go home soon. I just… wanted you to see this. ”
Then Pearl moved a bit, and Emerald found herself being led back. However, instead of going back to the warp, Pearl led her over to a shaded area under a tree. Pearl pat the spot next to her after she sat down, as Emerald joined her, she responded.
“ ...We don’t have to be home until morning. ”
Emerald smiled, the two of them laying down in the soft grass. Pearl murmured a request for permission, and when Emerald nodded she adjusted her arm so that Emerald could lay on it, and Pearl could gently touch her shoulder.
. . .
Minutes went by of the two of them looking up at the sky, enjoying the quiet beauty of the situation.
For a moment Pearl wondered if maybe Emerald might feel the same about her, but her moment of confidence in which she decided to ask her fizzled away when she turned her head to see Emerald sleeping in the crook of her arm, her breaths even enough that Pearl could tell her dreams lacked the terrors they usually carried.
She smiled softly, carefully reaching to brush a few strands of hair out of her face. Then Pearl exhaled deeply, looking up at the bright sky one more time before letting herself drift off as well.
Notes:
I have written both of these chapters just last night, insomnia powers activate!
Also, the place Emerald found was Lake McDonald in Montana.
Chapter 65: Teenager Day
Summary:
Kiki and Jenny find out that Gems don’t age.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“There’s no fear when you’re having fun.”
-Will Thomas
. . .
Emerald turned the page of the book Kiki and Jenny were showing her, seeing more pictures of smiling human children that she now knew to be them.
“It’s so hard to believe that this -” She said, pointing to a picture, then up to the. “-is you .”
“Didn’t you look different as a kid?” Kiki asked, resting her head on her hand as she leaned her elbow on the table.
Emerald shrugged, turning the page again. “I never was a kid.”
“ What ?” The two of them asked in unison, and Emerald smiled, reminded of the Rutile twins. She smiled softly at a picture of a younger Kiki making a Pizza with Nanefua, the smaller human missing a tooth.
“Gems don’t grow physically, although I suppose we do mentally in some form.” She said, taking her hand off the picture as her smile melted off into a slight frown. “...I would liken myself to a child’s innocence upon my creation, even though it didn’t last long.”
“You never got to be a teenager ?” Jenny asked, and Emerald shook her head.
“No. At least, not as you know it.”
Kiki and Jenny gave each other a look for a few moments, before turning back to her with big smiles. “Well then. It’s settled.” Kiki said.
“ What ?” Emerald asked, closing the book on the table.
“We’re going to show you what being a teenager is like for a day!” Jenny said, standing up.
“Are you sure-?”
“ Please ?” Kiki begged, giving her wide eyes.
Emerald sighed, giving in. “... Alright .”
. . .
The two of them led Emerald outside to the boardwalk, looking at the colorful buildings. They walked down it for a few minutes, and Emerald wondered what was different about taking a walk here, other than the location.
“Let’s get you a t-shirt!” Kiki said, tugging Emerald’s by the hand over to a colorful shop.
“I don’t have any money-“ Emerald tried to protest. Pearl had explained to her a few weeks ago what money was, and how it worked in human society.
“It’s on us!” Jenny said with a smile. “Pick one you like!”
. . .
Emerald looked around for a few minutes, and while they waited Jenny showed Kiki pictures from Sadie Killer and the Suspect’s last concert. Their new song ‘Disobedient’ had been doing well, and she had taken pictures with some of the audience members wearing merchandise from their stand.
Eventually Emerald came back, looking unsure. “Uh… is this one okay?” She held up a shirt, one with a rainbow tye-dye pattern swirling into the center. There was a knot in the side of it, and she looked slightly embarrassed for even suggesting it.
“Looks great!” Kiki said, and Jenny put her phone back into the pocket of her jeans. She paid the shop owner, and Emerald put the shirt on over the long sleeve one she was already wearing.
Jenny bought a shirt as well, one with pink hibiscus flowers printed on it.
“Where do you want to go?” Jenny asked as they continued to walk down the boardwalk, wanting to give Emerald a chance to pick something to do.
. . .
Emerald looked around at the colorful boardwalk, before stopping.
“I want to try that .” She said, pointing. Vidalia had a set of pictures set up on an easel, and she was painting a bright orange butterfly on a kid’s cheek.
The three of them walked over, just as the kid got up and went off with his parents.
“Hey, Emerald!” Vidalia said, putting her brush in a cup of water. “Would one of you like some face paint?”
Emerald looked down at the pictures, before seeing one she liked. “Can I have this one?” She asked, pointing to it. Vidalia looked at it then her for a moment, before smiling.
“Sure.” She gestured for Emerald to sit down on the wooden stool, before grabbing one of her brushes.
“Where do you want it?” She asked, and after a few hesitant moments, Emerald shyly pointed.
“ Be gentle, please. ” The gem murmured, closing her eyes as she was visibly nervous.
“ Of course. ” Videlia said, remembering what had happened with Greg when he crossed her boundaries.
Kiki and Jenny exchanged a confused look, noting how Vidalia and Emerald were acting as though they knew something the two of them didn’t.
. . .
Vidalia was gentle as promised, and the paint was cold against Emerald’s skin. After a few minutes she moved away, and Emerald opened her eyes.
“All done.”
Vidalia offered her a small hand mirror, and after a few moments to decide, Emerald slowly took it. By reflex she closed her eyes as she held it up, but after taking a deep breath she slowly opened them.
She was covered in flowers.
Vidalia painted small turquoise flowers around her eyes and on her jaw, covering up the orange there. It was the smallest thing, and yet it made her happy. She touched her hand to her cheek with a smile, admiring it.
She knew it was only temporary, but loved it nonetheless.
“You look awesome!” Kiki encouraged, and Emerald handed the mirror back to Vidalia. When Jenny pulled out her wallet to pay her, Vidalia held up her hand.
“This one’s free of charge.” She said, setting her hand on her hip. She smiled at Emerald, who smiled back in thanks.
. . .
The two of them brought Emerald to the amusement park next, showing her how to play various games. Eventually they were stuck at a game where you had to throw darts at balloons stuck to a corkboard.
Emerald aimed as best she could, before throwing a dart. She jumped slightly when a pop rang out, but Kiki and Jenny seemed surprised.
“You popped one!” Kiki said excitedly.
“I thought all these games were rigged.” Jenny added on.
Emerald tried again, able to pop more of them. After she had managed to destroy quite a few of them, the man working the stand handed her a stuffed creature in the shape of an earth creature she knew to be a ‘Turtle’.
It was a mottled green and blue, with what looked like a Quartz gem sewn into the head. Emerald ran her finger over it, wondering if it was a coincidence, or if it was based off a gem of some kind that a human had seen shapeshifted.
. . .
As the sun was going down they left, Jenny offering to drive her home. Kiki came as well, since it was easier than walking home.
“Do you guys do this every day?” Emerald asked, holding the turtle close to her chest. She had never had things of her own before, but recently she seemed to be receiving a lot of them.
“No, Our lives are a lot less exciting. We just wanted you to have fun.” Kiki said, leaning her chin against the empty seat in front of her, her hair drifting lightly in the wind.
“Thank you.” Emerald said, looking at the soft smiling face of the Turtle. It was small and calming, something that seemed to be a trend among the stuffed creatures.
“Of course! We should do this again sometime!” Jenny said, looking at her through the mirror attached up front so she could see behind her.
“Yeah.” Kiki agreed.
Emerald looked down at the turtle again, before realizing there was something they might know that she didn’t. “…Can I ask you a question?” She asked hesitantly, holding the turtle a bit tighter.
“Of course!” Jenny exclaimed.
“What’s a… date ?”
That seemed to be jarring to the two of them, and Kiki sat up. Jenny looked through the mirror again, eyes full of surprise. “Did someone ask you out on a date?”
Emerald glanced away, pushing a strand of her hair out of her face. “Well, Pearl and I went to this beautiful lake I found, and she asked if it was a date.”
“ WHAT !?” The girls exclaimed in unison, and Emerald leaned back from surprise.
“Give us the details.” Kiki said, stars in her eyes.
Emerald explained how she had found the lake before going home to bring Pearl, leading up to her falling asleep in the grass in Pearl's arms.
They waited for her to finish, Kiki looking more excited as she went along. After a few moments when it was clear that she was done, Jenny spoke. “-That was totally a date.”
“ Oh .” Emerald glanced away, playing with the turtle nervously. “What do you think… would’ve happened if I said yes when she asked me?”
“Don’t know.” Kiki said,just as they pulled up next to Greg’s other car next to the temple.
“Here we are.” Jenny said, before turning so she could look at Emerald when she spoke. “But Emerald…”
She gave her a thumbs up, and a reassuring smile. Kiki coped the gesture, giving her two thumbs up.
“…You got this.”
Notes:
I fought hand and mind through writers block to get this out, but I prevailed! XD
Chapter 66: Under the Moon
Summary:
Emerald and Pearl go for a walk.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“My Darling,
All I want
Is to be your moon
And show you
All the little stars of my heart.”
-Alexandra Vasiliu
. . .
Emerald sighed, watching as Jenny’s car turned the corner before disappearing behind the rocks. She sat down on the steps of the beach house, looking out at the ocean.
As the sun inched closer to the sea it eased into her view, making her squint before she eventully had to give up and look away again. She looked instead down at the stuffed turtle in her hands, its eyes wide and curious and its smile gentle.
“What do I do?” She asked it softly, even though by now she was well aware that it couldn’t respond. The Turtle continued to mindlessly smile at her, and she frowned, sighing again.
She looked down at the sand and grass below, before hearing the door open. Emerald turned her head slightly, looking out of the corner of her eye to see behind her.
She had recognized the drifting gait of the gem walking down the stairs, so it was hardly surprising when Pearl sat down on the steps next to her.
Pearl looked up past her, while Emerald continued to look down at the sand. It was hard to believe that rocks had been broken down that small, to the point they were called something else, and had become a part of something larger.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Pearl asked after a moment, breaking the silence, and Emerald leaned her chin on her hand.
“ I suppose the sunset must be nice… I can’t remember if it was. ” She murmured, hardly remembering what the sunset had been like before it became too painful to look at. Now, she doubted she could see it if she tried.
“Not that…” Pearl said surely, before pointing up past her. “…Up there.”
Emerald followed her arm before seeing what she was referencing. The moon was visible between the fingers of the fusion statue’s hand, bathed in red and yellow as the sun set in the other direction. She smiled, something about the fact that Pearl had found a beauty that Emerald could enjoy with her making her feel warm inside.
Pearl set her hand down, the two of them admiring the sight together as the world began to darken around them.
“ We can go up to the hill to look at it, if you’d like. ” Pearl murmured, and Emerald smiled back at her.
. . .
Emerald set the shirt and stuffed animal inside the house, before the two of them walked hand in hand across the beach.
“Did Videlia do that?” Pearl asked, and Emerald remembered that her face must’ve been still painted with bright flowers. She smiled, gently touching her other hand to her cheek.
“Kiki and Jenny took me to the boardwalk.” She said by way of explanation, brushing her hair back with her hand nervously.
. . .
The two of them walked up the hill, a wider view becoming visible as the stars covered the sky. Once again Emerald found herself wondering how much Pearl could see, when her own view showed the scattered stars in shades of blue and violet.
Emerald let go of Pearl’s hand, continuing to walk forward even as Pearl had halted behind her. She paused at a certain point, looking up to the moon before gathering her courage and slowly turning around to hold out a hand.
“ …Will you dance with me? ” She murmured, her fingers curling in a gentle beckon.
It dawned on Emerald that she must’ve looked ridiculous, the wind blowing her hair awkwardly into a face covered with painted flowers as she was visibly nervous. It felt strange to be the one asking this time, remembering those blissful moments before disaster where she had been ignorant but happy.
Before she could have any more second thoughts however, Pearl walked over and took her hand. At that point Emerald knew her face was most likely fully flushed, but she decided not to think about it.
Her hand drifted along Pearl’s arm, coming to rest on the back of her neck. Her other hand drifted up to join it, and Pearl’s arms came to rest gently on her waist.
They danced in sweeping movements, the ends of Pearl’s jacket and Emerald’s hair fluttering and shifting in the breeze. As the minutes went by the sun dissapeared completely, stars coming out above them as they wordlessly danced under the graceful moon.
They had danced many times by now for fusion, but something about this time was different. It felt like a quiet admission that this is where they’d rather be, in each other’s arms under the hidden veil of nighttime.
. . .
They danced for a while to silent music, before Pearl’s hand slid up to the center of her back, lacing their fingers together as she slid Emerald into a dip.
. . .
Emerald looked up at Pearl, her beautiful face framed by the bright stars above them both. Her cheeks were a bright teal, her eyes soft and caring.
“ …Pearl ?” She managed to ask under her breath. Pearl pulled her up, those bright eyes looking into her own.
Pearl lifted her back up, though her hands lingered on Emerald’s waist.
“ Yes ?”
Emerald’s hands drifted up to hold Pearl’s arms, and she glanced away nervously. She took a deep breath, her words quiet and hesitant.
“… I think I might love you. ”
“You-?”
Pearl suddenly froze, the two of them completely still as the wind blew against them lightly.
Emerald slowly looked up, turning her head toward Pearl with a nervous look on her face and deeply flushed cheeks. Pearl’s own cheeks were blue, and she was frozen, staring at her with wide eyes. Emerald hurriedly continued, not wanting to force anything onto her. “-I’ll understand if now that you know, you want to have more boundaries, o- or space. I still want to be your friend, even if I have these… feelings .”
There was a moment of continuing silence, where Emerald started to feel more and more as though she had said the truth at the wrong time, and she had ruined the moment.
“I… I’ll give you some space.” She said hurriedly. Pearl reflexively let go of her waist as she backed up, but after only a few small steps Pearl quickly caught her hands in her own.
“ Wait .”
There was another silent moment where Emerald did just that, but when Pearl appeared hesitant to say anything else, she spoke instead.
“ …Pearl ?”
Pearl squeezed her hands lightly, looking down and away from her as she quickly spoke. “Are you sure ? I… I lied to you.”
Emerald ran her thumbs over Pearl’s knuckles, for once speaking clearly. “- And I forgave you. ”
Pearl let go of one hand and reached out gently, hesitating a few inches away from Emerald’s face, not knowing if it would be welcome.
Emerald took a step forward, causing her fingers to brush against her cheek. Pearl opened them, gently holding her cheek.
Pearl looked up at her fully, their eyes meeting. Her cheeks were flushed as well, and she gained a hesitant smile.
“… I think I might love you too. ”
. . .
Emerald flushed, unable to resist smiling big, before darting forward and wrapping Pearl in a hug.
Unprepared as it was unexpected, Pearl was caught off balance. To try to regain it she swung the gem around, the two of them laughing. Both their visions were filled with light as they looked into each other's eyes, and Granite fell back onto grass laughing when she no longer had someone to lean or hold on to.
. . .
As soon as she opened her eyes she knew, spreading her arms and enjoying the feel of the soft grass on the back of her hands.
As her laughter died down, she sighed happily, lacing her fingers together behind her head so the gem at the top of her back didn’t lay against the ground uncomfortably.
“ You two took long enough. ” She joked, admiring the bright sky above her.
It felt good, to be made of love.
Notes:
gay :3
Chapter 67: Surprises
Summary:
Granite decides it's time she meets Steven and Amethyst before unfusing.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The sun felt to come up too soon, making the stars fade to barely visible points of white in the morning sky. Granite sighed, knowing they had to go back home. Before unfusing however, she realized that Amethyst and Steven had never had a chance to meet her.
She smiled, already formulating a plan for how to surprise them, and make a good first impression.
She was careful to walk carefully, turning on only a few lights that she needed and being quiet so that she wouldn’t wake Steven. Ella came over and sniffed her hand, before pushing her head into Granite’s hand for head scratches.
Granite didn’t know how much the cats understood about fusions when they were only animals, but some part of her wanted to believe that they recognized that she was like Pearl and Emerald, if not them exactly.
Granite was gentle as she used a small towel to gently wash off the facepaint Emerald had gotten at the boardwalk in the bathroom, reflexively glancing down at the color being washed away instead of her own reflection. The paint had made Emerald happy, but she was well aware it wasn’t permanent.
She washed her hands thoroughly, before going back into the kitchen. Checking the time, she knew that Steven would be waking up soon. She glanced over at the fridge, then away again, the same pattern repeating until she eventually decided it would be fun to try.
. . .
Granite tried her best to carefully set the raw bacon in the pan, sticking her tongue out at it when the grease spit at her. Any mess she had made in taking it out as well as making eggs she had already cleaned, washing her hands again after touching the raw meat.
Pearl had cooked breakfast a thousand times, so how hard could it be? She wanted to surprise Steven and Amethyst with eggs and bacon, but this was proving to be more complicated than she thought.
After what she hoped was the right amount of time, she used some tongs to flip the bacon strips. A few looked a little black, and she sighed. Amethyst would eat them, at least.
She heard lumbering footsteps on the stairs, her cue to know that Steven had woken up. The teenager was rubbing his eye, using his other hand to guide himself using the railing. Granite turned off the stove, a smile growing on her face.
“ Morning. ” Steven mumbled, stretching his arms in a wide arc with a big yawn.
“ Good morning .” She murmured in turn, keeping her back turned as she took the pan off the hot burner. She heard a dramatic gasp, and when she turned, she saw Steven’s wide eyes and dropped jaw.
“Oh. My. Gosh !” Steven exclaimed, and she set a plate out for him, leaning on the counter as casually as she could muster when she felt just as excited to meet him.
“Hello.” She said plainly, looking down at him with a big smile.
“ Giant woman. ” Steven whispered under his breath with stars in his eyes, and Granite couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Peeeeearl, can I have the bacon grease when you’re-?” Amethyst cut off when she saw the fusion, dropping her phone. There was a moment of silence, before she too burst into a smile, picking up her phone.
“Wow, you really beat Garnet in the height department.” She joked, and granite chuckled.
“I suppose I do.”
Amethyst hopped up onto the edge of the counter, and Granite had to resist the urge to tell her it wasn’t hygienic.
“I’m sorry it took so long for us to meet.” Granite said hesitantly, but Amethyst brushed it off.
“Don’t worry ‘bout it!”
There was a noticeable sound, and with the glow of the warp Garnet had returned home, having spent the night helping out with building Little Homeworld.
“Yo Garnet!” Amethyst called. Garnet strode into the room, a smile on her face. She addressed Granite directly, her tone even.
“Welcome back.” Garnet hooked her finger into her visor, lowering it enough that Granite could see the humor in her third eye. “How nice to see you again. What brings you here?”
The sly smile the other fusion gave her told Granite that she knew exactly why, and she couldn’t help but wonder if Garnet was always this nosy with her future vision. Granite felt herself flush, and she was quick to respond, although her voice carried her slight nervousness. “Well, I figured it would be a good time for us to meet!”
Emerald and Pearl as well as herself didn't necessarily want to hide being together, but they wanted time to figure everything out first before going around and talking about it.
“Are you gonna be around more often?” Steven asked, scooping some eggs onto his fork.
“I… don’t know.” Granite answered honestly, thinking for a moment. “Probably not.” Fusion was… complicated for Emerald and Pearl to say the least, but being her every once in a while was nice for them both. Less overwhelming.
“You make great bacon.” Steven commented, and Granite beamed.
“Thank you!” She said excitedly, happy that she had managed to do something right for once.
That thought made her pause suddenly, not knowing what part of her it came from. She touched a hand to her chest lightly, frowning a bit.
“You alright?” Amethyst asked suddenly, and Granite glanced up. She closed her eyes, before taking a deep breath. After a long exhale, she opened them, a genuine small smile on her face.
She wasn’t going to let the bad thoughts win. Even if her components didn’t always love themselves the way they should, she knew that they loved each other enough that they would learn. She knew that even if she wasn’t always there, they would be there for each other.
“...
Yeah
.”
Notes:
Next week's chapter might take a bit less or more than usual, because it’s midterm week.
Chapter 68: Different
Summary:
Pearl and Emerald lay together.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.”
-Zora Neale Hurston
. . .
Emerald and Pearl had decided to take things slow. They hadn’t explicitly told the others about the shift in their relationship, but Pearl had a feeling Garnet suspected, as she had given Granite a pointed look and a sly smile when she had returned home.
In some ways nothing had changed, and It had only occurred to Pearl after everything that they already did most things that two beings in a romantic relationship would. The only difference was that now, she got to enjoy the romantic side of it.
Steven had gone to have Pizza for dinner so that he could get back to helping Bismuth set up a temporary forge, and Garnet conveniently needed Amethyst’s help in the temple. Pearl suspected that the fusion wanted to give Emerald and herself some time to themselves; something she appreciated.
The two of them were laid down on the couch, Pearl leaning against the side as Emerald lay in her lap, head resting against her chest. Emerald’s skin was soft and warm, her breaths calm and even. It reminded Pearl of her own urge to breathe, which she did hardly as often. It made her feel warm that Emerald was this calm and open to being held like this, and that she trusted Pearl with herself.
Emerald’s eyes drifted open for a moment, her hand coming to rest on Pearl’s arm. Pearl felt herself flush, suddenly freezing up for what felt like no reason. It felt like she was suddenly overwhelmed with the smallest details and feelings, and out of nowhere Pearl felt tears prick her eyes.
After Rose had Steven, Pearl had allowed herself to drift away from the others. Even when she had come back, there were always small distances. It had been a long time since she’d had affection that cut this deep emotionally, and the selfish part of her never wanted it to end.
It had been a long time since she had last had this, and she was scared of how much this small moment was starting to overwhelm her. It felt like so much love at once, and yet she craved it like there was a gaping hole inside her.
“ Pearl ?” Pearl opened her eyes from where she had them tightly shut, seeing that Emerald had moved to sit up. There was worry in every line of her face, and she hesitated in reaching for her.
“ Did I do something wrong? ” She asked, and Pearl was quick to try to wipe the tears away with her hand.
“ No . I… ”
Something about loving someone this much felt like reopening old wounds, and her hands felt to tremble, as though any sudden movement would shatter this perfect moment and make it another broken memory.
“ I love you. So much. ” She managed to say, her voice trembling. The words carried an indescribable weight, because she truly did.
“ I love you too. ” Emerald murmured, wrapping her arms around her in a warm hug. Pearl held her close, burying her face in her neck as she choked on sobs.
. . .
By the time Pearl’s sobs became sniffles, she took in that they had changed. Now Emerald was holding her, and it was one of the most comfortable things she had ever done.
Pearl could never understand before why Rose loved the smell of the earth after it rained, but here in the arms of a gem who was the embodiment of such, she couldn’t possibly love it more.
It was hard to think about how different this was already. For what felt like the first time Pearl felt wholly loved, no secrets dictating their relationship. They held onto each other by choice.
Emerald didn’t ask her why she clung to her so desperately, something Pearl was grateful for. She knew that Emerald would ask eventually, her curiosity and knack for noticing the little things another reason Pearl had fallen in love with her in the first place.
Pearl didn’t know what she would say if she did ask, but for the time being it was just comforting silence.
So she held on, never wanting the moment to end.
Notes:
I think I’m writing this much from anxiety that my midterms start tomorrow 🙃
Chapter 69: The Sleepover
Summary:
Steven wants to have a sleepover.
Emerald plans on staying out of it.
Connie pieces some things together.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
A few days later, Steven excitedly asked Garnet if he could have a sleepover with Connie. When she agreed, he eagerly ran off to his room to call her.
. . .
Connie arrived an hour later, excited to ask him about how Little Homeworld was going, as well as giving him a chance to relax. Pearl was setting up a blanket on the floor in Steven’s room, and the two of them threw their pillows onto it.
Emerald said a polite hello to Connie, before looking back to the book she was reading. The protagonist of this one seemed more resourceful than others she’d read, using wisely the little his family was able to give him to save his life when he had to run away.
“Are you guys going to join?” Connie asked suddenly, and Emerald looked up.
“I suppose we could.” Pearl said with a smile from where she stood on the stairs.
“I’m in!” Amethyst exclaimed, and Garnet shrugged. Emerald glanced away for a moment, before deciding to be honest.
“ ...I think I’ll sit out on this one. ”
She looked away from the sad glances she knew the others would have, looking down at her book.
“You look tired, though.” Connie said, and Emerald wondered when she had become so observant.
“ I don’t sleep. ” She said in response, not looking up as she clutched her book tighter.
“Really?” Connie asked, looking between the other gems.
Amethyst shrugged at her. “We don’t need it the way you humans do.”
. . .
The others had gone upstairs, and Emerald went up to the fusion statue’s hand so she wouldn’t bother them. She was only alone for a few minutes, before the warp activated again behind her. She was hardly surprised when a quick glance confirmed the guest, before Pearl sat down next to her.
The two of them sat in silence for a moment, the wind blowing their hair as they looked out to sea. Pearl was the one to break the silence, looking over to her.
“...Connie was right, you do look tired.”
Emerald sighed, hunching her shoulders and deciding to be honest. “ I feel tired. ” She murmured, her eyes showing her mental exhaustion that had been lingering for a while.
Pearl gestured her intent, and when Emerald nodded she carefully combed her fingers through her hair. She was careful not to tug her hair by accident, and Emerald sighed. Pearl moved her arm to wrap around her waist as Emerald leaned against her shoulder, sighing once more.
She rubbed her thumb against Emerald’s side, and Emerald turned her head to look up at her. There was a soft smile on her face now, the tired look not leaving her eyes. “ Maybe I will sleep after all… ” She murmured, and Pearl smiled down at her gently.
“Not up here, you’re not.” She said surely.
“Hm?” Emerald questioned as she closed her eyes and leaned against her shoulder once more, not fully processing her words. Her eyes shot open as Pearl suddenly moved, lifting her up in her arms bridal style.
“ Pearl -!?” Emerald exclaimed with a laugh, having to quickly put her arms around her neck so she wouldn’t lose balance. “Are you going to do this every time I don’t want to move?”
Pearl laughed, a light sound that carried on the wind. She smiled smugly, only love in her eyes. “ Maybe .”
Emerald decided to mess with her back, smiling a smug smile of her own. “ How strong… ” She murmured, threading her hand into Pearl’s hair. Her hair was soft, and Emerald wondered why she hadn’t touched it sooner.
“Don’t make me drop you by accident!” Pearl exclaimed, her cheeks and neck a bright turquoise with love and embarrassment. Emerald relented, putting both arms back around Pearl’s neck and burning her face in her neck.
“ Alright… ” She murmured, closing her eyes as Pearl carried her to the warp.
. . .
Everyone was asleep, something Pearl was thankful for. She hardly wanted to explain her current state, the flush on her cheeks and her love in her arms. She set Emerald down before laying next to her, holding her close.
Emerald’s eyes drifted open, clear love within them. Pearl slowly reached out, tucking a strand of her green hair behind her ear with a smile.
“ I love you. ” She murmured quietly, despite the others sleeping nearby. Emerald smiled, her eyes drifting shut once more.
“... I love you too.”
. . .
Connie didn’t know what had woken her up, only that it was still dark outside when her eyes fluttered open. Her eyes did a tired sweep, before seeing movement to her left.
“... It’s okay. ” She heard Pearl murmur softly, her face slightly visible in a soft green light. It took Connie a moment to realize the light was coming from Emerald’s wide eyes, and that she had a hand pressed over her mouth as tears brimmed them.
Emerald was shaking, and Pearl was gently holding her cheeks as she sniveled quietly, her breaths quick. It didn’t fully register to Connie how much distress Emerald was in until the next morning when her mind was fully coherent, but she knew it would be too intrusive to ask about it.
“ I’m here. ” Pearl murmured, an emotion in her voice that Connie could only attribute to love . It didn’t make much sense to her, as last she’d heard Pearl was still not over Rose. Still, it was nice to hear, and if her brain hadn’t been so tired she most likely would’ve said something.
Still, she decided to congratulate her teacher for finding love again in the morning when she wasn’t so tired, before falling back asleep.
. . .
“So… Emerald and Pearl.”
Connie had completely forgotten what she saw during the night until the next morning, when she registered the loving glance Pearl gave Emerald while she made pancakes for everyone.
She had decided to wait until she could ask Steven, not wanting to intrude in their sweet moment (that no one else but her seemed to pick up on).
“What about them?” Steven asked, looking up from his doughnut. The two of them had decided to get doughnuts after breakfast for the fun of it, sitting in the grass by the lighthouse together to eat them.
“Nevermind!” She said quickly, before he could realize what she meant. If Steven didn’t know, then there was a good chance that the two gems hadn’t told anyone , and Connie wasn’t the type to go around sharing things that weren’t her business.
Besides, she could always geek about how in love they clearly were with him whenever they told him, if he didn’t figure it out first. She couldn’t wait until everyone else knew, so that she could get the story out of Pearl as to how that happened.
Still, as excited as she was for him to find out about the new romance clearly blooming within the beach house, she was content to wait until he figured it out on his own.
It probably wouldn’t be long, anyway.
Notes:
I'm writing an ungodly amount again, this feels like the good 'ol days (If ykyk)
Chapter 70: Pearls in wartime
Summary:
Emerald is having a hard time.
Pearl tells a story.
Chapter Text
Emerald set another piece onto the puzzle she and Pearl were putting together, sighing softly. She looked down at her sleeve before clutching the edge of her sweater, feeling again as though she wanted to hide.
She had gone back to not sleeping, having had a nightmare followed by an attack at Steven’s sleepover. She had thought that she was doing better, but all at once everything felt like reminders.
There was an icky feeling in her chest, like she wanted to crawl out of her skin.
“ Are you alright? ”
Emerald looked up when Pearl spoke to her, seeing a soft look in her eyes. Not knowing how to vocalize what she was feeling, Emerald only looked away and shook her head.
“ Would you like a hug? ” Pearl asked, and Emerald practically crawled into her arms. She craved that sense of safety and comfort that Pearl always gave, needing the stability of her hug.
Pearl held her close, silence reigning for a few moments. Eventually she spoke, looking down at Emerald. “...Would it help to distract if we talked about something?”
Emerald glanced away, before looking up at her. “ …Will you tell me more about the Rebellion? ”
Pearl nodded solemnly. “Is there anything in particular you want to know about?”
Emerald thought for a moment, fiddling with the edge of Pearl’s jacket. There was a question she had been wanting to ask for a while, hesitating before hesitantly deciding to ask it. “ Were there… other Pearls? ”
Pearl glanced away for a moment, reminiscing. “Yes… But they weren’t alone. Although to be fair, neither was I.”
As she spoke her eyes were tired, the subject harder than most. “The other Pearls were with their owners. Rose thought the best of them, thought that they were trying to free their pearls as hard as she was trying to free me.”
She sighed, thinking back to those days in the war. “...But behind closed doors… They were as commanding as ever, and there was nothing the rest of us could do about it.”
“...Well, except for one.” At that, Emerald looked up.
“ Tell me about them? ” She asked hesitantly, and Pearl nodded.
“... Alright. ”
. . .
The rebellion had been going on for nearly a hundred years now, and many had joined them.
Pearl would always remember when it was just the two of them, Rose and herself, then the three of them with Garnet, but it was nice to have the assistance.
She had seen other Pearls arrive with their owners, keeping her distance from them as it became clear they had no intentions of freedom for them.
Until her .
There were whispers that a rather famous gem had joined them, the Zircon lawyer of White Diamond herself, and she had brought her Pearl with her.
It wasn't long until Pearl had the chance to meet her. She was a level-headed gem, always blunt and a good judge of character. She had always expressed a desire to help her Pearl achieve free will as Pearl herself had, and Pearl could tell that unlike most others she was being completely truthful on the matter.
Once she had been on her way to discuss the plans for the next day with Rose, when she heard an argument taking place. She crept close to the tent where it was going on, trying to gauge if she should intervene.
“What do you want to do?” White had asked, and her Pearl was quick to respond.
“I keep telling you, I’m happy doing whatever you want!”
It was clear that it was an argument they’d had before, and Pearl wondered how many times they had. She wondered if she had ever had an argument like that with Pink, but doubted it.
“You have to realize. You are your own gem.”
“But I’m not supposed to be!” White’s Pearl exclaimed, and there was a sudden quiet. After a few moments White spoke again, only determination in her tone.
“I promise. I won’t stop until you’re free.”
“You should just give up on me.” Her Pearl murmured, but White’s tone was firm.
“ Never .”
Pearl had to quickly move when she heard some approaching the entrance of the tent, hurrying to get on with finding Rose to talk to her. She heard White Zircon call after her, and she stopped in her tracks, wondering if she had seen her eavesdropping like a common Homeworld Pearl.
“Pearl! May I speak to you?” The gem asked, trotting over to her. Pearl nodded, knowing most likely what she was going to talk about.
She had asked before.
“How were you freed?” Zircon asked seriously. She had always been straight to the point, but didn’t usually word her questions so direct and simple.
I wasn’t . Pearl thought. But how could she say that? Rose had given her so much, and even if she wasn’t disconnected from her, she still helped to give her free will.
Not to mention to do so would be to ruin everything by revealing her Diamond’s secret.
She knew why Zircon was asking, but she couldn’t give the true answer.
“I don’t know.” She said, looking away.
“What do you mean you don’t know !? You’re the Pearl who defied her owner!” Zircon protested. “You have to know!”
Pearl set her mouth in a tight line, forcing herself to not respond to the tears in the corners of the gem’s eyes; forcing herself to not bow her head to hide like she wanted to.
She couldn’t appear weak. Not here, when she was supposed to be a strong image. A warrior.
A renegade.
“I’m sorry. I… I’m not sure what did it.” She managed to say eventually.
Zircon seemed to gauge her reaction, before sighing and glancing down. “Okay... I understand.”
She looked up, meeting Pearl’s eyes once more with a hard resolve. “Is there anything you can tell me that might help me free her?”
Pearl softened slightly. “…learning to fight for her own freedom.” She said simply, wanting the gem to find a way. Even if she wasn’t free the way Rose wanted her to be, maybe Zircon could free her Pearl, and prove to everyone that it could be done.
. . .
By the end of Pearl’s story Emerald seemed wholly focused on nothing but her, far more relaxed as her head rested against Pearl’s shoulder. Her arms were loosely around Pearl’s neck, her hand gently playing with pink hair.
“Did she ever talk to you again?” She asked, her breath warm against Pearl’s neck. Pearl glanced away, sighing.
“...A few times. I wish I had tried to help her more, but I was too wrapped up in the bigger picture, and with Rose herself.”
Emerald seemed to think about that for a moment, before asking another question. “...What happened to them?”
“ What happened to all of them. ” Pearl murmured solemnly. Emerald’s eyes widened at that, and she leaned back a bit as her hand drifted out of Pearl’s hair.
“ …corruption .” She whispered, and Pearl nodded.
“We found her Pearl a few years into bubbling the corrupted gems… But we didn’t find Zircon.”
“Do you think she was…?” Emerald asked, glancing away, and Pearl frowned, holding her closer.
“I’m not sure… I wish I knew. ” She sighed, looking tired. “I owe her a few apologies.”
She sighed, closing her eyes gently. “
...More than a few, really.
”
Notes:
;)
Chapter 71: Layers
Summary:
Pearl's upset.
Emerald decides to offer her help.
TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR: SELF-HARM
Chapter Text
“Guilt is like rust - it is slow, but powerful, and it eats the person alive.”
-@nabeel_nishat
. . .
The house had grown into a routine, as Emerald didn’t feel ready to visit the construction yet. Garnet, Amethyst, and Steven would spend most days helping out, and on occasion Pearl would as well.
Most nights when they came Home Pearl would sit with Emerald, the two of them talking about Little Homeworld’s progress and how everything was still changing.
The day before, Emerald had noticed that Pearl seemed more tired than usual. She had smiled regardless, although Emerald suspected it was for her sake.
The night before, Pearl had remarked that she had things to do in the temple. Emerald had nodded, understanding even though she was still worried.
Even though morning had come, Pearl was still in the temple. With Amethyst in the temple as well and Garnet and Steven having gone to Little Homeworld Emerald was left in the house alone.
Well, not completely alone. Seemingly sensing her worry about Pearl, Ella had taken her favorite spot on Emerald’s lap, while Cat Steven nuzzled her head against her side. Emerald herself was attempting to read a book without using her hands as she pet them both.
After a few hours however, the temple door opened. Amethyst strode out, muttering to herself. Her arms were crossed, and she seemed frustrated.
“Are you alright?” Emerald asked, pausing in petting Cat Steven to set her book on the table. Amethyst flopped onto the couch , and Cat Steven went over to ask for head scratches from her. Amethyst sighed, before lightly petting her.
“ Pearl’s upset, and she isn’t listening to me. ” Amethyst muttered, frowning still. Emerald frowned as well, before lifting Ella off her lap. She stood up, brushing the cat hair off of her.
“Where?” She asked, looking down at Amethyst. Amethyst sat up, moving to set Cat Steven in her lap.
“Her room.” She said surely. “…you gonna talk to her?”
“ Mhm .” Emerald nodded, starting to walk toward the temple before pausing. She gave amethyst a small smile despite herself, adding on “....If you’ll let me in, of course.”
“Oh, yeah.” Amethyst said quickly, picking up Cat Steven so she could stand up. She walked over to where Emerald was standing, before her gem lit up in a soft glow. The door opened a moment later, and Emerald took a deep breath before following her in.
Emerald attempted to not think about the last time she was in the temple, feeling trapped and suffocated as she couldn’t leave on her own. Still she continued on, reminding herself that this was for Pearl.
Amethyst paused after a minute of walking, before pointing to one of the many pools dotted throughout the crystalline cavern. “It’s that one.”
Emerald nodded, before stepping forward. As she entered the pool the world turned around her, and when she opened her eyes, she was on top of one of the lifted pools in Pearl’s room.
She pointedly avoided looking down at her reflection, Jumping up to the pool Pearl was on when she spotted her. As she landed on the surface of the water, she looked up to where Pearl faced away from her. “... Pearl ?”
Pearl looked up suddenly, and Emerald could see the tears in her eyes. “ Emerald ?” She asked out of clear surprise. “How did you…?”
“Amethyst let me in.” Emerald responded, kneeling to sit next to her. “...Are you alright?”
Pearl was obviously forcing a smile for her sake, quickly wiping away the tears with her hand. “ I’m fine. ” She murmured, her voice raw.
“It was all her saying ‘I’m fine’ while she cried alone and kept us all at a distance for months !”
“Do… you want to talk about it?” Emerald asked hesitantly, remembering what Amethyst had once told her.
“There’s nothing to talk about!” Pearl said quickly, although she was clearly distressed. She quickly turned away again, hugging herself tightly.
“ Okay .” Emerald murmured simply, before gently wrapping her arms around her from behind. “ ...But I’m here. ”
Pearl set her hand over her arm, as though she couldn’t bear for her to move away even though she had no plans to. “ I don’t know how to explain, it’s just… the layers… it’s all so much... ” She murmured hesitantly.
Emerald moved, shifting to sit in front of her as she took Pearl’s hands in her own.
“ How can I help you? ” She asked genuinely, squeezing Pearl’s hands gently.
Pearl looked down at their hands for a moment, then into her eyes, before looking away. “... I can’t ask you to do that for me. ”
“If you can’t ask… then show me.” Emerald insisted. Pearl’s hands were shaking now, and she lifted her hand to touch her gem.
“I…” She hesitated, looking to the side.
“ Is it on the inside? ” Emerald asked in a low voice, reaching up with her free hand to touch Pearl’s cheek. Pearl nodded solemnly, and Emerald brushed a fresh tear away from her eye with her thumb.
She thought for a long moment, before coming to a decision. “ ...Let me help you. ”
Pearl looked up at that, surprise filling her eyes. “Are… are you sure?”
Emerald looked her deep in the eyes, brushing her cheek with her thumb gently.
“ Yes .”
Pearl took a deep breath, setting her hand over Emerald’s for a moment. “. ..okay. ” She murmured, before Emerald lowered her hand.
Pearl offered her hand, her gem glowing softly. Emerald took it, feeling her hair slowly lift off her shoulders as the light grew to the point where she had to close her eyes.
. . .
When Emerald opened her eyes, she was standing in a wide open space.
There was a wall of objects neatly sorted in floating rows, where Pearl stood with her back to her. The pale gem’s hands were tightly closed at her sides, and she seemed to deliberately ignore her.
“ …Pearl ?” She asked cautiously, approaching her. Pearl was looking down, and moving her hands to lace her own fingers together nervously. “Are… you alright?”
Pearl sighed deeply, not turning back. “ …I’m made for sorting, but even as just the surface I know better than to trap you in one place. ”
“Can you show me what’s wrong?” Emerald asked, and Pearl sighed. She nodded solemnly, before turning to hold out a hand.
. . .
Emerald blinked a few times, adjusting to her surroundings once more.
They were in Pearl’s room, the gentle rush of water filling the quiet. Emerald looked around, before hearing a sigh from behind her. When she turned around, she saw Pearl sitting with her back to the door and her head in her knees.
“ I wouldn’t forgive me. ” Pearl murmured quietly. Emerald walked over slowly, sitting down next to her. Emerald, believing she meant for what happened with faking Rose’s shattering, asked “ Why not? ”
“I don’t deserve forgiveness.” Pearl said, looking up. There were tears in the corners of her eyes, and she looked up at the ceiling rather than at her.
“...I messed everything up.” She said simply, her voice full of hopelessness. “I’ve lied for so long… and now, now that I can finally tell the truth… I lied again. I’ve ruined everything. ” She ducked her head again, a tear dripping off her chin onto the floor below.
“ ...I just got her back, and now it’s my fault she wants nothing to do with me. ”
It was then that Emerald realized that this was a memory, and what exactly Pearl was talking about. There was a moment of silence between them where Emerald hesitated to reach out, eventually deciding to set her hand over Pearl’s.
She leaned her own back against the wall. Thinking for a moment about what to say. “... She just needs time. ” She murmured eventually, and Pearl sighed deeply.
“ ...I know. ” She pursed her lips, sounding and looking unsure. “ ...But what if she doesn’t come back this time? ”
“... What if she doesn’t? ” Emerald repeated, suddenly feeling selfish for wanting to know what Pearl would’ve done if she hadn’t forgiven her.
“ I suppose I’ll have to live with it. ” Pearl said, her eyes distant. She sighed once more, before lifting Emerald’s hand in her own.
. . .
This time they were in Pearl’s room again. Pearl was sitting on the edge of one of her fountains, her legs dangling over the edge as she looked down at her hands.
She closed them gently, taking a shaking breath. Her eyes were glancing around as if seeing her thoughts racing by, and they looked strained.
“ My hands weren’t my own .” She said in a shaking voice. “…. Are they ever ?”
Emerald moved to sit next to her, but when she said nothing, Pearl continued. “... What Diamond is going to control me next? ”
“ Why didn’t she remove it? ” She asked genuinely, hurt lacing her voice. “ Was it because I never asked? Did I not want it enough? ”
She looked down at her hands again, a bit of fear in the edge of her voice. “ …Is it bad that I don't know if she would’ve said yes? ”
“I’m a horrible gem.” She said after a moment of silence and Emerald was quick to ask “ Why? ”
Pearl hugged herself tightly, looking down as her form shook slightly. “ ...I’m starting to think I didn’t know freedom until she was gone. ”
“Which is horrible ! She freed me!” She protested before Emerald could speak, although she was only fighting herself.
“ ...Don’t I owe her for that? ” she asked helplessly.
“I don’t know.” Emerald said, knowing there was nothing else she could say. This time she didn't hesitate, reaching to set her hand on Pearl’s arm. “ ...But you can always talk to me. ”
She knew that it was only a memory, but there was still an ache in Emerald’s chest where she longed to have been there to comfort her after what happened with White Diamond.
This time, Pearl didn’t look at her when she held out a hand.
. . .
When Emerald opened her eyes once more, there was a bubble in front of her face with a gem inside. She looked around, seeing the room where the others had used to keep the corrupted gems.
It took her a moment to find Pearl within the many bubbles, kneeling on the ground across the room with her back to her. Her form was what Emerald remembered from before her shattering, although when exactly was a mystery to her. Emerald approached her, but whatever she was going to say died in her throat as soon as she saw what Pearl was holding.
Emerald’s own hands began to tremble, moving up to her mouth in shock as she stared at the pink bubble, a scarily familiar color of orange and green shards within. The weight of seeing her own shards made her chest tighten, starkly remembering what it felt like to be in that state.
There were so many.
“ I’m so sorry. ” Pearl murmured to the shards, her tears trailing down the pink surface. “ I was so selfish… It’s all my fault. All of it. ”
Tears sprouted in Emerald’s eyes at that, a swell of raw emotion in her chest. She was quick to run toward her, crashing to her knees as she hugged Pearl from the side.
“ No .” Was all she managed to say, clinging tight. “ Never .”
“ She’s gone. ” Pearl said, her voice cracking.
“ She’ll come back. ” Emerald retorted, regardless of knowing that by the nature of this memory Pearl wouldn’t believe her.
“ No .” Pearl said darkly. “ There’s no way back from shattering. ”
She offered Emerald her hand to move on, but Emerald had to stop to take a deep breath and wipe away her remaining tears before taking it.
. . .
They were on the beach, although exactly where Emerald couldn’t tell. Pearl stood to her side, standing next to what looked like rocks jutting out of the ground. Her form was one Emerald had never seen before, lace draped over her shoulders and leg warmers on her ankles.
Darkness curled around the edges of the scene, the shadows long and menacing at every turn. Pearl’s eyes were wide and distant, her voice dull and raw as though she had spent a long time crying and was void of further emotion. “... She’s gone. ”
“ Who ?” Emerald manages to ask, and Pearl sighed.
“ Rose .”
Emerald didn’t know what to say this time, or how to comfort her when they hadn’t even known each other this far back. When she said nothing however, Pearl continued.
“ She’s always been there. Now… ”
She looked down at her hand suddenly, that paired with the look on her face sending a spike of fear though Emerald. “ Pearl -” She said quickly, walking toward her slowly, but Pearl cut her off.
“ I can’t live without her. ” Pearl said seriously, her hand coming to rest on her gem. Emerald hated that she understood how Pearl was feeling, but it broke her heart to know this happened, and she couldn’t stop it.
“Pearl-!” She called, but couldn’t move as she watched Pearl go to the same lengths she had not long before.
The darkness rushed in at once, everything pitch black but the distant glow of Pearl’s gem resting on the ground.
“ Oh, Pearl… ” Emerald murmured, kneeling next to her gem. She reached out after a moment of hesitation, but just as she touched it, the light grew blinding rapidly.
. . .
When Emerald opened her eyes once more, she was in a ruined battlefield, shards and deformed gems littering the ground as Pearl kneeled in front of her.
“ We’re the only ones left. ” Pearl murmured, and this time Emerald sat with her and hugged her as she questioned her decision about helping Rose fake her shattering until she was ready to offer her hand.
. . .
As soon as the memory changed, Emerald saw a brief glimpse of Pink curls before Pearl shapeshifted back, leaning against a boulder a few feet away.
Her hand was firmly clamped over her mouth, tears in her eyes as her hand opened to show the Pink Diamond within.
Before Emerald could move, or say anything to her, the gem in Pearl’s hand began to glow. The gem’s form shifted from one Emerald had never seen, to the Rose Quartz within the painting that still hung in their home that she didn’t like to look at too often.
Rose was facing away from her, her shadow covering Pearl as she smiled with clear joy . “Pearl!” She exclaimed, suddenly turning and hugging her. “We did it, it’s finally over!”
When Pearl sniffed, Rose seemed to realize that she was hardly in the same mood. “... Pearl ?” She asked hesitantly, pulling back to see the tears in her eyes.
Rose’s smile melted off her face, and she hugged Pearl once more.
“ Thank you .” Rose murmured, and Pearl appeared that she couldn’t find a response.
Then Rose continued, and Emerald felt ill at her words.
“I need you to know that this is good .” Rose said, regaining a small smile. “ This will change everything. ”
Rose helped Pearl up, giving her another quick hug before telling her that they should get back to camp to share the news with everyone.
And Pearl offered Emerald her hand.
. . .
Once again in the new memory Emerald didn’t recognize Pearl’s form, assuming that this must’ve been another time within the rebellion. Both Pearl and Rose were standing in front of her, though there were gems in the shadows around them.
“ Never do that again!” Rose yelled, fear and anger mixed together in her voice as she shouted. Pearl stood defiantly, although saying nothing.
The two of them stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, before Rose abruptly hugged Pearl. “ I can’t lose you, Pearl. ” She murmured, as Pearl returned the embrace quietly.
“ Rose !” Someone called from the edges of the memory, and Rose looked up. She seemed to look in Emerald’s direction without seeing her, something that nearly made Emerald shiver.
“We’ll have to talk about it later. But you can’t do this.” She said, looking back at Pearl before letting go of their hug.
Emerald was quick to move out of the way as Rose passed, wondering what was going on. She watched Rose walk away for a moment, before Pearl spoke from behind her.
“I’ll do it as many times as I have to. For her .” Pearl’s tone was firm, her eyes showing her determination.
“Do what?” Emerald asked, but Pearl didn’t respond as she looked straight at her. “What are you talking about?”
“... Pearl ?” Emerald asked quietly as Pearl’s silence continued, before the darkness around them began creeping in. Pearl’s hand lifted to face her, and for what felt like no reason Emerald was suddenly afraid of what she would see.
But as always, she took it.
. . .
Immediately, Emerald was surrounded by the sounds of clashing metal and shouting. Gems were fighting all around her, and when she spotted Pearl running across the battlefield she ran toward her.
Pearl looked so afraid of everything going on around her, her eyes darting around as she tried to avoid getting deformed. Emerald watched as Pearl suddenly stopped, her eyes widening as tears sprouted.
“ ROSE !” Pearl shouted, and Emerald suddenly skidded to a stop. This scene felt too… familiar .
Before she could think about that more, Pearl ran full speed toward where Rose seemed about to fight a fusion that was large enough to no doubt have been made of at least three quartzes.
Emerald knew what was going to happen right before it did, remembering when Pearl had shown Steven, Connie, and herself a projection of this moment when talking about the war.
“ PEARL !” Rose shouted as Pearl leapt in front of her, raising her sword even though it snapped under the weight of the fusion’s axe, the weapon tearing through her form instead.
Emerald’s hands were covering her mouth in shock, connecting the dots together. The darkness rushed in once more, Pearl’s gem on the ground.
As Emerald lowered her hand, she sighed. She walked to and kneeled in front of Pearl’s gem, looking down at ir for a moment,
“ ...we’re going to talk about this. ” She murmured, making a promise to herself and Pearl before moving on.
. . .
Emerald knew that she had reached the farthest back she could go when she opened her eyes, seeing Pearl standing in front of Rose in her Pink Diamond form. Pearl’s own form was the farthest from herself Emerald had seen yet, seemingly designed only to compliment Rose.
Rose suddenly sank to her knees, and Emerald could see the tears building in her eyes. The gem covered them with her hands, her breaths shuddering.
Pearl ducked her head down, the top half of her face hidden in shadow. Emerald didn’t understand what was going on, and when Pearl spoke it hardly made it clearer.
“I’ve already disappointed her.” Pearl murmured, although her expression was still a docile smile that Emerald had the impression she couldn’t get rid of. “I’m made for her , why does she hate me?”
“She doesn’t hate you…” Emerald said, walking toward her. “...She never will.”
“Will I ever be good enough for her?” Pearl asked, still standing still and looking toward Rose.
Emerald frowned. She hardly knew what to say in that regard, because in the end Rose had left seemingly without thinking of how Pearl would feel about it.
Instead of trying to assure her, or validating that Rose loved her when she truly didn’t know, Emerald just gave Pearl a sincere hug. She held her gently, Even if Pearl didn’t move.
“ You’ll be good enough for me. ” She murmured into Pearl’s shoulder, choosing to be completely honest. “ I don’t know how she felt about you … But I know how I feel about you. ”
She held Pearl slightly tighter, before letting go to move her hands to Pearl’s cheeks.
“ I love you, Pearl. ” She said, looking into Pearl’s wonderful eyes as tears welled up in her own.
Suddenly, the world around her turned to light even though she hadn’t taken Pearl’s hand. She saw glimpses of the other memories she had seen before she had to close her eyes.
. . .
Emerald blinked a few times, adjusting to her surroundings as she realized that Pearl was crying. They were back in her room, and Emerald knew it was no memory.
“I.. I didn’t mean for you to see that much.” Pearl stammered, fear in her eyes. “I didn’t want to burden you any more- I’m so sorry- ”
“Hey… It’s okay.” Emerald said, giving her a small smile even as her eyes were tired.
“No, it’s not-“ Pearl protested between sniffles and quickened breaths. “I never should have asked you to do that-“
Before she could say any more Emerald hugged her tight, tears spilling down her cheeks as she clutched the back of Pearl’s jacket desperately.
“ It’s okay. ” She said again, holding her tight. “ I love you. No matter what. ”
“I…” Pearl sniffled, but Emerald pulled away slightly to look her in the eyes.
“ You don’t have to hide away from me. ” She murmured, holding on. “ I’ll still love you. ”
At that Pearl hugged her in return, the two of them clinging tighter as they cried.
Notes:
I'm well aware I've used this quote before, but I think it fits this chapter a lot better than the other one.
—————
Not this chapter being 9 pages and over 3.5k words 💀
Chapter 72: Promises
Summary:
Pearl and Emerald have a talk
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It was only the day before that Emerald had seen near everything that had been weighing her down, and they hadn’t spoken much since.
The silence itself carried a weight, the two of them quiet as they settled into leaning against one another on the couch.
Emerald looked to be concentrating on something within her mind, absentmindedly rubbing her thumb against Pearl’s arm.
She was the one to break the silence all at once, murmuring quietly. “ ...Did you ever do it again? ”
“ Do what? ” Pearl asked in return, as though she didn’t know exactly what Emerald was talking about. She froze, her breaths shallow. She wanted Emerald to ask about any other part of the rebellion, even when she knew that protecting Rose was a significant part of it for her.
She knew within her heart that Emerald wouldn’t like the answer to that question.
The sadness and worry in Emerald’s eyes as they looked into her own broke something in Pearl, and as the silence persisted she knew that she couldn’t lie to her.
“ Yes .” She said eventually under her breath, closing her eyes and ducking her head so she wouldn’t have to see the look On Emerald’s face. “ ...Many times. ”
It was strange to think of the shame her past actions with Rose brought her now, when no less than a year ago she had described them with fierce dedication and a bright smile.
“ I couldn’t let her get deformed during the war. Not once, or everyone would know the truth. ” She murmured, somehow finding it in her to open her eyes.
Emerald’s expression was solemn, and as Pearl watched and waited for her to say something , anything about it, Emerald just slowly nodded.
Then Emerald moved to turn, facing Pearl now. She reached forward slowly, easily taking Pearl’s hand in her own and lacing their fingers together. “ ...I need you to promise me something. ” She murmured eventually, glancing away.
When Pearl didn’t respond, she continued. “ Promise me you’ll never try to sacrifice your safety to save me the way you did with her. ”
Pearl’s eyes widened, and she felt frozen as the words sunk in. She had had this argument many times with Rose, but she had hardly expected the same to happen with Emerald, considering she had no plans to tell her about what she had done for Rose outside of helping to fake her shattering.
“ I… ” Pearl hesitated, but Emerald held her hand tighter, looking up just enough to look her in the eyes.
“ Please .” She whispered, genuine fear in her tone. “ I… I don’t think I could stand losing you like that… I wouldn’t be able to help you. ”
The last part of Emerald’s statement was barely audible as she looked away again, but Pearl still heard. She knew what Emerald was referring to, well aware of the fact that if she risked her gem to save Emerald and got herself cracked, Emerald couldn’t heal her the way Rose could.
Pearl took a shuddering breath, before speaking. “ ...Promise me that if it gets bad again you’ll talk to me. ” She lifted her free hand gently, tucking Emerald’s hair behind her ear. “ …and you’ll stay . ”
Emerald’s eyes widened, her cheeks going pale. She tensed, and Pearl could feel her hand begin to tremble slightly. There was another moment of silence, before Emerald moved forward to give her a hug. Pearl wrapped her arms over her in turn, holding her close.
“ I… I’ll need help. ” Emerald murmured against her chest, squeezing her gently.
“ I’m always here to help you. ” Pearl said in return. Emerald then pushed herself up, looking at her face to face. She leaned forward, her forehead pressing against Pearl’s gem as she looked into her eyes.
“ Then I promise to try. For you. ” She said, and Pearl smiled softly.
She reached her hands up, carefully setting them on either side of Emerald’s face. “.... Then I’ll promise to try for you too. ”
Emerald’s eyes softened, and she looked relieved. Pearl knew that with this, they had to trust one another to keep their promises.
And there was no one she trusted more.
Notes:
Writers block is so FUN
o-O
Chapter 73: The Forest
Summary:
Kiki pays Emerald a visit.
Chapter Text
“Nature is the purest portal to inner peace.”
-Angie Weiland Crosby
. . .
Emerald had been planning to spend another day alone at home reading, but her plans were thwarted when Kiki dropped by.
“Do you wanna go for a hike?” The human asked. She seemed to notice Emerald’s slight hesitation as she remembered their last hike, frowning slightly. “I know something was wrong before, but we can go somewhere else.”
At that Emerald looked up, allowing herself a small smile.
“ ...Alright .”
. . .
Emerald left a note for Pearl in case she wasn’t back by the time she came home from Little Homeworld’s construction, and the two of them set off.
They hiked for a while, reaching the grassy fields after only a short while. Kiki looked across the field, where the stone foundation of Little Homeworld was visible.
“You guys are fast .” She commented, and Emerald wondered how long it took humans to build buildings.
“Yeah.” Was all she said in return.
. . .
As the two of them walked, Emerald found herself relaxing. There was something about the woods that brought a sense of calm, the trees around them in rich warm shades.
“Yknow, out here there’s always life, even when you can’t see it.” Kiki said, and when Emerald looked over at her she looked just as relaxed. She then looked a little more excited as she looked down at the ground.
She then reached down, picking something small off the ground.
“Like these little guys. They eat the dried leaves that fall, and in turn make the ground better for growing plants!” She offered it to Emerald, setting it in her open hands. “-Here.”
Emerald yelped and jerked back as soon as Kiki dropped it in her hands, not expecting it to be gooey . The small creature fell onto the ground, unharmed as it inched away once more.
“You didn’t tell me it was…!” She said, before pausing as she didn’t know the proper word to describe it.
“... Slimy ?” Kiki offered, clearly trying - and failing - to suppress a smile.
“Yes!” Emerald exclaimed, and Kiki couldn’t hold it in anymore, unable to help breaking into a laugh for a moment at how confused she was.
She took a deep breath, sighing as she wiped the beginnings of tears out of her eye. “ Sorry .” She said eventually, and Emerald couldn’t help but sigh and smile as well.
“It’s alright. Just surprised me, that's all.”
Kiki looked to the side, before smiling. She reached out carefully, letting a small creature climb onto her hand. “...Here, this one isn’t slimy.” She said, before letting the creature crawl from her hands to Emerald’s.
The creature was small and segmented, multiple small legs that Emerald could feel on her palm.
“This is a spider.” Kiki said as Emerald turned her hand over, the spider skittering along her hand. “They make sure there aren’t too many bugs.”
“ Hmm… ” Emerald murmured, seeing as the spider came back to her palm. “ ...It’s so small. ”
“It is! But they’re helpful creatures.” Kiki said, before looking up at her. “Yknow, for someone who loves to read you don’t know much about nature.”
“I prefer fantastical stories.” Emerald replied, lifting her hand to let the spider move to another branch. Her brow furrowed as she remembered another term she didn’t know, and she looked back toward Kiki. “Is a ‘ horse’ another kind of ‘ bug’ ? Because these ‘bugs’ seem too small for a human to ride.”
At that Kiki laughed again, before offering her hand. “Here, come on! I’ll show you everything I know.”
. . .
Emerald had a wonderful time for the next few hours, learning about various things in the forest from the existence of ants to climbing trees.
The excitement didn’t end when she got home, because then she relayed all that she’d learned to Pearl. Even though she talked for what felt like an hour or two, Pearl never seemed to get bored.
“I’m sorry… I’ve been talking for a while.” She said eventually. Pearl smiled warmly, only love in her eyes as she squeezed her hand gently.
“...
I don’t mind.
”
Chapter 74: Remembrance
Summary:
Pearl has a conversation with Yellow and Blue Pearl.
It sparks her to ask Emerald an important question.
Chapter Text
“True memories are unforgettable not for the story they tell, but for the emotions they evoke every time they cross our minds.”
-Unknown
. . .
It wasn’t long before someone informed Pearl that her Yellow counterpart had arrived on Earth, being the last of the Diamond’s former Pearls to do so.
She didn’t completely understand why Yellow had waited so long when Blue had left early, but in some sense she knew it would be harder for Yellow to leave her old life behind than for the rest of them.
Blue was the one to ask that the three of them talk, although about what exactly Pearl didn’t know.
“ Do you think they want to talk about what happened with Steven and The Diamonds? ” Emerald asked, Pearl having mentioned the planned meeting later that same day.
“ I’m not sure .” Pearl answered truthfully. She looked past Emerald out the window, where the sun was already setting. “ ...But part of me wonders if it’s about something else. ”
. . .
Pearl hadn’t meant to fall asleep that night, but she could hardly complain. Waking up in Emerald’s arms was a surreal experience, feeling a calloused hand gently stroking the edges of her hair.
She was careful not to move, hardly wanting the moment to end so soon. For a moment Emerald paused and Pearl felt something brush across her gem, before she resumed.
Pearl closed her eyes once more, feeling as Emerald slowly caressed her thumb across her jawline. Then her hand returned to Pearl’s hair, and she spoke softly.
“ ...We have to leave soon. ”
At that Pearl smiled, her eyes drifting open. “ ...How did you know I was awake? ” She asked quietly, and Emerald’s hand drifted down to touch the collar of her jacket.
“ Your gem stopped glowing. ” Emerald murmured in response. Pearl’s eyes widened, remembering what Steven had told her about her gem projecting her dreams.
Before she could ask if she had been doing so, Emerald moved to show her the small dish towel in her other hand. “ You started projecting, so I put this over it. ”
Pearl relaxed at that, tilting her head back so she could look up at her. “ ...Thank You. ” She could see the flush on Emerald’s face as the two of them smiled at one another.
. . .
It took a few more minutes, but eventually they forced themselves to get up. Emerald folded and set the dish towel away, while Pearl smoothed out her jacket from where it had gotten slightly wrinkled.
It seemed that Garnet had left for Little Homeworld already, food left out for the cats. Cat Steven was laying under the table, While Ella sat on the couch by the window.
“Do you mind if I come?” Emerald asked, walking back over to Pearl. “I haven’t had a chance to catch up with Biggs since before…”
She trailed off, glancing down and away. Pearl turned to her, offering a hand.
“ I don’t mind. ” She said gently, and Emerald took it.
The two of them started toward the door, before hearing a small thump as Ella jumped off the couch. Emerald watched as Ella trotted over to her, rubbing her head against her ankle.
“ You want to come? ” She asked the cat with a smile, before reaching down to pick Ella up. Ella went limp in her hands, something Emerald was used to by now. “... Alright .”
. . .
The two of them walked side by side, as the ground shifted from sand to grass. The foundation of Little Homeworld was large, and above it Emerald could see what looked like the beginnings of buildings.
Biggs was with a few quartzs just outside of the construction, while Blue and Yellow were sitting on a hill, seemingly waiting for her.
Pearl gave a slight wave to Emerald, who smiled in return, before the two of them went their separate ways.
Blue and Yellow watched as she approached, before setting herself down next to them.
“Who is that ?” Yellow asked. Pearl was confused for a moment, before remembering that the two of them would’ve never seen Emerald since she wasn’t around when the rest of them went to Homeworld
“Emerald.” She said simply, a gentle smile on her face. “She’s going to catch up with a friend.”
Yellow looked off at where Emerald was talking to Biggs, narrowing her eyes.
“What is it you wanted to talk about?” Pearl asked, and Yellow looked back at her. There was a moment of silence, until Blue spoke gently.
“ ...We knew it was you. ”
“ What ?” Pearl asked genuinely, not knowing what exactly she meant.
“ ...During the rebellion. ”
Pearl's eyes went wide, having believed that nobody on Homeworld had figured out her true identity while fighting in the war.
Yellow crossed her arms, frowning. “I knew Pearls were overlooked, but I didn’t realize how unnoticeable we really were until we seemed to be the only ones who knew.”
“ I thought it was risky that you were going against your diamond. ” Blue said, folding her hands in her lap. “ ...But we never wanted you to fail. ”
Pearl didn’t know what to say, never knowing she had their support all that time ago.
“...It was strange to learn you didn’t come of your own will after all.” Blue added, and Pearl tensed.
“ What ?” She asked seriously.
“You came here with your Diamond.” Yellow said, making a twirling gesture with her hand. “You were following your programming.”
Pearl scowled at that, bristling with irritation.
“I still chose to fight.” She said seriously, and Yellow’s brow raised.
“You did ?” She asked, but before Pearl could say anything else, Blue interrupted.
“ I suppose we were wrong, then. ”
There was a moment of tense quiet, before Blue spoke again.
“ ...It’s nice here. ”
Pearl relaxed a bit more, glad the subject was changing.
“It is.”
“ There’s so much life. ” Blue continued, brushing her hand across the grass.
“I still don’t understand why you fought for this planet.” Yellow added, looking away. “ ...But I want to. ”
“I’m sure as you spend more time here you’ll see.” Pearl said in response.
. . .
“How’ve you been?” Biggs asked. While Pearl sat a distance away with Yellow and Blue Pearl, Emerald had managed to catch her to talk.
“Alright, for once.” Emerald said in response, readjusting the way she held Ella to be more comfortable. “A lot’s been happening.”
“I heard a little bit.” Biggs said, and Emerald nodded solemnly.
Ella squirmed in her arms, and eventually Emerald had to set her on the ground. Immediately the cat stalked low to the ground, her tail twitching playfully.
Emerald and Biigs watched as she pounced, and Emerald chuckled under her breath at the cuteness of it.
It was then that she saw the butterfly in Ella’s mouth.
“Don’t eat that!” She said quickly, picking Ella up.
Ella stared at her for a moment, before there was a small crunch where she did, in fact, eat it.
“Ella!”
Emerald sighed, hearing Biggs laugh from behind her.
. . .
Pearl looked up, watching Emerald pick up Ella and say something to her, before Biggs broke into a laugh.
Suddenly Emerald looked up at her, smiling with a visible shrug. Pearl couldn’t help but chuckle under her breath, smiling as she felt her cheeks flush.
Yellow looked between her and the gems in the distance, frowning before sighing deeply.
“Don’t tell me you’re in love with that… thing .” She said suddenly, and Pearl’s happy moment shattered.
Pearl’s head whipped toward her, but before she could snap back a retort, Blue spoke gently. “ You don’t need to be rude, Yellow. ”
Yellow scoffed, a snide look on her face. “- All of my Diamond’s old court knows about her , it’s not just me …I was there when she arrived on Homeworld.”
“ What ?” Pearl asked, barely a breath, her eyes wide. Yellow rolled her eyes, speaking as though it should be obvious.
“Well, it’s not every century my Diamond ordered the creation of a new general, especially after not having one for millennia , if the rumors were true.”
She looked toward where Emerald was once more, although it was more like a glare. “But when she arrived, she was… off-color. ”
Yellow spoke the term as though it disgusted her, and Pearl felt a sudden urge to shout at her, or anything else that would make her never use that tone again while talking about her love. “My Diamond ordered her to be shattered immediately. How she’s even alive is beyond me.”
“ She’s alive ? ” The gems on Homeworld had asked. At the time, Pearl hadn’t even realized that Emerald might be known among Yellow Diamond’s old court.
Did she know she was remembered?
Her hand clenched the grass tight, bristling with anger that Yellow would speak so horribly about someone she barely knew, let alone one of the most gentle and compassionate gems she had ever known.
“I do love her.” She said seriously, before standing up. She spoke firmly, no room for argument in her tone. “Call her a thing again… and you can forget ever asking anything of me. Say it to her face , and I leave you somewhere to rot .”
“...wow. Someone’s acting defensive over an Off-Color. ” Yellow said with an entitled smile, standing up as well. “We may be Pearls , but at least we’re gems . Off-Colors are barely more that-”
“Stop It. Both of you.” Blue butt in, standing up and stepping between them.
Blue sighed, looking down for a moment before looking back to Yellow. “ ...you’ve spent too much time with Yellow Diamond. ”
Yellow grumbled something, before turning to walk away, She walked down the hill forcefully, and Blue turned back to Pearl.
“... Sorry. ”
Pearl wanted to ask her when Yellow had grown to be so awful, because she didn’t remember ever seeing her act like that before. Sure, Yellow had always acted entitled despite all of them being mere servants, but never had she been so… horrid .
However, before she could ask, She heard footsteps on the grass behind her.
Emerald was quiet as she walked up to them, Ella still in her arms. Pearl knew she couldn't have heard what was said about her, but she didn’t know for sure.
Emerald watched, her lips pursed into a frown, as Yellow kept walking. She held Ella slightly closer, and Pearl wondered if she did know about her remembrance.
At the very least, it was clear enough that Emerald knew who Yellow was, and from the little she could tell they might’ve even briefly known each other.
After another few moments she shifted to hold Ella with one hand, leaving the other open. Pearl didn’t hesitate, clasping their hands together, fingers intertwined.
“ Blue .” She said gently, looking back to her. With her other hand she gestured, a small smile growing on her face. “ ...This is Emerald. ”
Blue gave her a gentle smile, and Emerald gave her one in turn.
Emerald opened her mouth to say something, but stopped suddenly as Yellow came stomping back up the hill.
“Honestly, I can’t believe -” Yellow cut off immediately when she saw Emerald with them, a tense quiet taking over.
If looks could kill, Yellow would be shattered from the look pearl gave her in that moment. The tension was thick and present in the air, and Pearl felt Emerald’s hand tighten in her own.
. . .
Yellow Pearl didn’t need words, the look she gave her alone was enough for Emerald to gauge exactly how she felt about her.
It was the same look she gave her nearly seven thousand years ago.
Emerald looked down and away, letting go of Pearl’s hand to hold Ella with both of them as she started to feel as though she was burning with shame.
“I- I should go home.” She stammered, holding Ella close to her face. Pearl turned to her and opened her mouth to say something, but Blue Pearl cut her off.
“ No .” She said quietly, grabbing Yellow Pearl’s arm. “ We should go. ”
She pulled Yellow closer to her, holding her arm what looked like tightly.
“ It was nice to meet you. ” She said quietly, and Emerald nodded shyly, unable to look toward them.
“. ..You too. ”
. . .
Emerald and Pearl went home not long after that, opting to sit in Pearl’s room together. Neither of them discussed what had happened; what had gone unsaid between Yellow Pearl and themselves, but it still weighed over them heavily.
Pearl broke the silence all at once, blurting out “ They remember you. ”
“ What ?” Emerald asked, moving to look up at her.
“The… well…” Pearl looked away, her hand holding Emerald’s a bit tighter. “I feel we should… talk… about this.”
Emerald moved to sit facing her instead of leaning against her.
“Is something wrong?” She asked.
“There’s nothing wrong , necessarily.” Pearl said, glancing away for a moment. She gently took Emerald’s hands in her own, not knowing how she would process this information if she didn’t already know it. “ But… did you know that Yellow Diamond’s old court remembers you?”
“ What ?” Emerald asked genuinely, her voice unintentionally quiet. Her eyes became strained, and she quickly pulled her hands away. “Pearl- that’s… They can’t. ”
“Yellow Diamond herself didn’t remember me when I talked to her.” She continued, and Pearl could hear the stress building in her voice.
Emerald suddenly felt to be talking too fast, her breaths quickening. Without thinking about it, a hand threaded into her hair on impulse. “Why would everyone else if she didn’t, right? I mean, she was the one who-“
Pearl reached forward carefully, setting her hand on top of Emerald’s shaking one, clutching the bottom of her sweater. “Hey… Breathe. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
She rubbed Emerald’s hand soothingly, trying to help her calm down before she gave herself an attack. “I just wanted you to know that they remember you… Isn’t that a good thing? ”
“Not when she wanted me shattered , Pearl!” Emerald snapped. A moment of dead silence followed as Pearl stopped moving, and Emerald sniffed as a few tears ran down her face.
“ Why… Why anyone else? Why when she forgot me would anyone else… remember…?”
It was only then that Pearl realized what the problem was. Gems she had never met remembered Emerald arriving on Homeworld, but her own creator forgot her after casting her away.
Pearl wrapped her arms around her, and Emerald’s hand slowly moved out of her hair.
“ I’m sorry. ” She murmured, while Emerald cried quietly into her shoulder.
You didn’t deserve this.
. . .
It was a while before Emerald calmed down, although she remained curled in Pearl’s embrace. Pearl rubbed a soothing hand on her back, the only sound besides the rushing water all around them.
“ ...did you know Yellow? ” Pearl asked after a while.
“ ...Which one? ” Emerald asked weakly, knowing that gems could be referred to by color. Although, whether Pearl was asking about Yellow Diamond, Pearl, Zircon, Quartz, or another gem, she didn’t know.
“ Pearl .”
Emerald looked away, watching where the water flowed off the edge of the pool for a moment. “ ...Yes .”
She was quiet for a moment longer, before sighing. Pearl held her slightly tighter, and Emerald leaned against her more. “...I didn’t know that any of them remembered me… but I do remember faces from Yellow Diamond’s old court. I was focused on her for the most part, but there were a few moments where I looked around.”
She sighed once more, closing her eyes and hunching her shoulders. “ ...Most of them didn’t seem to care...Yellow Pearl was one of them. ”
“ They were all prepared to just… let me die, I suppose. ” She finished, and Pearl stopped rubbing her back in favor of holding her close. Emerald let out a shuddering sigh, sinking further into her embrace.
Pearl didn’t know what she could say. Pearls faced prejudice on Homeworld, but they weren’t shattered for simply existing.
She couldn’t even imagine what that must be like, doomed to die for something they had no control over.
Pearl made a promise to Emerald not to sacrifice herself to save her, and she had no plans to break it.
However, she didn’t need to sacrifice herself to tell off any gems that tried to tell Emerald that she was nothing, when she was anything but.
Chapter 75: Warmth
Summary:
Pearl asks Emerald a few more questions.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.”
-Percy Bysshe Shelley
. . .
The soft sounds of water rushing in Pearl’s room were naturally soothing, and Emerald sighed. She leaned back into Pearl’s chest a bit more, while Pearl gently rubbed her thumb against the back of her hand.
“ You’re always warm .” Pearl murmured, quiet among the other sounds. Emerald opened her eyes lazily, tilting her head back to look up at her.
“ Hm? ”
“ Your skin is always warm .” Pearl said, giving her a small squeeze as her face flushed.
“ Oh. ” Emerald responded, lifting her other hand. She turned it over, wondering what the cause was. Was it built into her code, or something she did without thinking about it? “ I never noticed. ”
There were a few more moments of silence between them, before Pearl spoke softly. Her voice was hesitant, not knowing Emerald would react when she broached the subject.,“ …I never knew you were a part of Yellow Diamond’s court until Yellow said it. ”
Emerald seemed resigned as she sighed deeply. Her eyes looked tired, but her voice was firm as she frowned. “ I will never be a part of Yellow Diamond’s court. She already decided that. ”
Pearl’s brow furrowed, and she held Emerald a little tighter, without being too triggering. “… What happened? ”
“- If you don’t mind me asking. ” She added quickly, and Emerald tilted her head back. She looked unsure of herself, looking to the side. “ Do you… really wanna know? ” She asked hesitantly, and Pearl realized that there would be nothing good to tell.
“Only if you’re willing to tell it.” She said firmly in return, and Emerald closed her eyes for a moment before looking up past Pearl, focusing on the lights above them made to look like the night sky.
She took Pearl’s hand in hers once more, needing her strength.
. . .
“ I don’t remember much about emerging. Mainly… feelings. ” Emerald started, looking up at the lights. Her eyes darted back and forth, resembling the small view she had on a ship she hardly remembered much else of. “ I remember seeing the stars for the first time. ”
She had been in awe of the sight, seeing the wider universe in its expanse for the first time. “ I didn’t know why I liked them, just that I thought they were beautiful. ”
She frowned further, her look turning sad as she continued. “ I didn’t know why everyone was whispering about me; why they wouldn’t talk to me. ” In hindsight, she supposed they must’ve known her fate long before she did. “ I remember being confused at how broken Homeworld was. ”
“ It still is. ” Pearl murmured in the moment of silence that followed , and Emerald nodded solemnly.
“ It’s a lot clearer after that. ” She said, lacing her fingers with Pearl’s and holding tight as they got to the part she was dreading. “ ….Yellow Diamond was in the throne room… There were so many gems, it… it must’ve been a lot of her court. ”
Her shoulders hunched, remembering what it felt like when she walked into tha5 room, everyone seemingly making up their minds in that instant. “I don’t know why they were there. There were more whispers, everyone was looking at me.”
“ ...not in a good way. ” She added after a moment, and Pearl held her closer. “ I still remember what she said. ”
Emerald’s hands were trembling now, and she had to resist the tears that threaten to well up at the memory. “… Clearly that planet is out of sufficient resources. ”
Her voice shook, hard to verbalize the exact words when she had kept them to herself for thousands of years. “ ...take her to be shattered. ”
The words were so simple, a sentence or two, and just like that her life was condemned forever.
She hadn’t been lying when she said before that no one seemed to care.
“ ...I’m sorry. ” Pearl murmured close to her ear as she held her tighter, and Emerald turned to curl into her arms, leaning her side against Pearl’s chest.
“ It wasn’t you. ” She whispered in return, hardly wanting Pearl to blame herself for everything that happened before they met.
In the moment of silence that followed, Pearl lifted a hand, gesturing her intent.
“ Can I? ” She asked quietly.
“ Please .” Emerald whispered under her breath, leaning the side of her head against Pearl’s chest.
Pearl carefully threaded her hand into Emerald's hair, gently running the tips of her fingers across her scalp. Emerald sighed at the gentle contact.
Telling Pearl everything had hurt, yet it simultaneously felt like healing. Something about telling the story lifted a bit of the weight off her chest, even if part of her still clung desperately to the hurt that remained.
In a strange way, she felt happy.
“ Your hair is beautiful. ” Pearl murmured hesitantly, as though she wasn’t sure it was the right moment to say so.
Emerald’s hair was just short of being straight, and texture wise was thicker than it looked. Still, it was soft and smooth under Pearl’s fingers, and the slight warmth from the gem’s scalp only made the experience that much more comfortable and soothing for them both.
Emerald pushed herself up after a few moments, and Pearl’s hand drifted to her arm. Emerald looked into her eyes now that they were on the same level, seemingly searching for the answers as to why someone as wonderful as Pearl loved her this way when no one else had.
After a hesitant moment she reached out, slowly threading her own hand into Pearl’s hair. She smiled softly when Pearl’s cheeks gained a turquoise flush, admiring the softness of it.
“... yours too. ”
She brushed Pearl’s bangs away from her forehead, looking at the murky surface of her gem. Her hand hesitated where it was for a moment before she pulled it away, not wanting to cross a boundary they hadn’t discussed.
Pearl looked up for a moment, before smiling at her.
“ …You can touch my gem if you want to. ”
Emerald froze completely, her cheeks flushing. Pearl’s voice carried only love, lacking a shred of doubt. It made Emerald warm to know that Pearl trusted her so deeply, yet there was a tight feeling in her chest.
She lowered her hands, clenching them tightly in her lap.
“ I… I can’t offer the same. ” She said quietly, her cheeks burning with shame. “ I don’t know if I ever can. ”
“It's not that I don’t trust you-“ She said quickly, but Pearl was quick to respond.
“ I know. ” She murmured, setting her hand on top of Emerald’s.
“ ...It doesn’t feel right to take advantage of you like that. ” Emerald said back, and Pearl frowned.
“ It’s not taking advantage. ” She said, squeezing Emerald’s hand gently. “ ...I trust you. ”
Emerald hesitated, lifting her hand, before setting it down again. After a moment Pearl lifted her hand in her own, holding it carefully. Emerald looked at their hands as Pearl turned hers over, her thumb pressing gently into Emerald’s palm.
Pearl lifted her hand gently, giving ample time for Emerald to refuse. When she didn’t, Pearl placed her fingertips over her gem, holding her hand there for a moment before slowly letting go.
Emerald’s hand remained on Pearl’s gem, and she stared at it as she gently explored its surface with her fingertips. Pearl only flushed more, setting her hands in her lap and looking into her face.
“ It’s… smooth. ” Emerald commented after a few moments of silence, and Pearl could see her cheeks flushing a deep green as well.
To Emerald, if she hadn’t been inside Pearl’s gem she never would’ve known the worlds that lay within. It was nothing short of remarkable that this was the sole thing that made Pearl, Pearl .
“ Have you touched another’s gem before? ” Pearl asked her quietly, and Emerald paused.
“... Not like this. ”
She had skimmed the edges of Padparadscha’s gem when calming her down before, and she distantly remembered a time in the kindergartens where Rhodonite had grabbed her and held her close when they were hiding, the ruby in her navel pressing into Emerald’s side.
Never had she touched another’s gem when there wasn’t constant danger, or a fear of being shattered. Never had it been this peaceful.
“... Never like this. ” She added.
. . .
It was soothing, Emerald touching her gem with a care that made Pearl smile. After a moment she closed her eyes,
Emerald’s finger suddenly brushed along the sensitive seam between gem and form, and unprepared Pearl jumped slightly.
Emerald quickly retracted her hand, and when Pearl opened her eyes, Emerald’s own were wide and fearful.
“Did I hurt you?” Emerald asked, and Pearl could hear the fear in her voice as well. There was a moment of silence, before what she had asked sunk in.
“... No .” Pearl said gently. Emerald let out a relieved sigh, setting her hand back down. The cool focus she had before had vanished, and she seemed visibly nervous.
Still flushed, Pearl offered her hand. Emerald was slow to take it, but did so nonetheless. Pearl laced their fingers together, raising her other hand to Emerald’s cheek.
“ ...You didn’t hurt me. ”
Emerald set her free hand over Pearl’s hand on her cheek, sighing again before giving her a small smile.
Pearl knew that if she had a heart as humans did it would be pounding within her chest, her breaths shallow. She glanced away, then back, before swallowing.
She looked down and away, feeling her cheeks burning.
“ …May I kiss you? ”
There was a moment of tense silence, and for a moment Pearl became terrified before Emerald’s voice cut through her thoughts.
“...What’s a kiss?”
Pearl looked up quickly, seeing Emerald’s confusion on her face. Her own eyes went wide, realizing she truly didn't know.
“ Oh !” She exclaimed, wondering if she was going to spontaneously combust from how hot her face seemed to be. “It’s… Well, you’ve seen ruby and sapphire kiss before!”
“I have?” Emerald asked, tilting her head slightly. Pearl took a deep breath, before unlacing their fingers.
“ It’s… like this. ”
She lifted Emerald’s hand carefully, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of it. She heard Emerald’s sharp inhale, although looking into her eyes there was no fear within them. Emerald’s eyes were blown impossibly wide, a deep flush on her cheeks and nose.
“ But… here. ” Pearl added, gently pressing her finger to Emerald’s lips. She moved it away, quickly speaking again. “But if you’re not comfortable with-“
“ Yes .” Emerald’s voice was breathless, barely audible as the rest of Pearl’s sentence died in her throat. “ Yes .” She repeated more clearly, an eagerness in her voice that Pearl reciprocated.
. . .
Pearl smiled, and Emerald’s breaths were shallow as Pearl reached her other hand so that there was one on either side of Emerald’s face.
Pearl tilted her head, time seeming to slow as she moved impossibly closer. Emerald’s hands tightened in her lap, the anticipation in itself causing stress.
Warmth blossomed in Emerald’s chest, drowning in new and familiar sensations. Pearl’s lips were so soft , and Emerald found herself pressing back against them as the smell of strawberries became overwhelming.
She wasn’t quite sure what to do with her hands, but felt them relax as the doubts and stress melted away. She leaned into it, for once unafraid of the love and care she had for the gem before her.
They broke away slowly, Emerald’s eyes fluttering open. Pearl’s own cheeks and nose were a bright turquoise, and after a moment of staring at one another she couldn’t help but smile brightly. Pearl’s eyes felt to be the brightest blue in the universe, even the stars pale in comparison.
She sat back, allowing Pearl to sit up better. Pearl did just that, adjusting to lean on a hand behind her before reaching out with the other.
She traced Emerald’s cheek with a finger, before gently opening her hand to set against it. Emerald shivered lightly, Pearl’s touch burning her skin in a way she couldn’t describe.
Pearl gently tugged her closer, an invitation for another. Emerald gladly leaned in, draping her arms over Pearl’s shoulders this time. This kiss was somehow even better than the last, Emerald feeling as Pearl’s hand shifted back to run through her hair.
. . .
Pearl had always believed that kissing Emerald would be nothing short of remarkable, and she hadn’t been wrong. She lost herself in the wonder of it all, hardly paying attention to anything else as she adjusted her hand a few meager inches back for more stability.
Unfortunately, the edge of the pool didn’t go that far.
Pearl tipped back with a yelp, breaking the kiss as her hand accidentally caught Emerald’s sweater and took her with her. The air around her turned to water churning in her vision, before she burst out of it.
A moment after she did Emerald surfaced as well, looking just as disoriented. Her sweater and hair clung to her form, and as she blinked the water out of her eyes there was a slight reflection of light in the droplets.
Then she looked up, their eyes meeting. Emerald blinked a few times, looking up to register what had happened as Pearl felt herself flush deeply out of Embarrassment.
Then Emerald broke into a laugh, and Pearl found herself joining in due to the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. They had fortunately landed in one of the few pools that wasn’t solid, one made to mimic a hot spring in case she needed to relax or clean herself after a mission.
She drifted over to Emerald, knowing that she had to have the most childish smile on her face, her cheeks blue with embarrassment. “I’m so sorry.” She said in between chuckles. “That’s… not how I imagined it would go.”
“ Imagined..? ” Emerald asked with an embarrassed smile of her own, moving some of her soaked hair out of her face.
Pearl somehow flushed even more, nervously scratching the back of her neck. “For a while now… I was worried it’d be going too fast. ”
Emerald flushed, before moving forward quickly to give her a hug. Pearl hugged her in turn, wondering what path of fate led her to meet the gorgeous being in her arms.
She would have to ask Garnet sometime.
. . .
Emerald’s eyes were half-lidded as she moved back slightly, a sly smile growing on her face. She lifted her hand up to Pearl’s cheek, the tips of her fingers brushing against pink hair.
“ May I? ” She murmured, and Pearl nodded.
“ Mhm .”
This time Emerald was the one to press their lips together, more hesitant than before, but just as wonderful.
Pearl broke off the kiss to place one on Emerald’s cheek, lingering for a moment before pressing another to the scar on her jaw.
She pressed a kiss on each eyelid, then another on her brow before returning to her lips.
Emerald was the one to break it off, touching a hand to her cheek with a sweet giggle. “. ..It feels so nice when you do that. ”
“In what way?” Pearl asked with a smile, moving to set her arms around Emerald’s back above the waterline. Emerald’s smile faltered slightly, her tone a bit more somber. Her hand drifted down, the tips of her fingers touching the scar on her jaw.
“ ...Every one of these is connected in some way to fear and pain in my memories. ” She said, glancing away. Then she looked up at Pearl again, her smile returning. “But with you , now the thing I can remember receiving there is a… kiss , not an act of violence.”
She gently touched her hand to her chest, the flush on her cheeks returning. “It’s like… taking those parts of me back , if that makes any sense.”
Pearl had to suppress tears at that, reaching forward to set her hands on Emerald’s cheeks once more.
“ I’ll have to do it more often, then .” She murmured, before gently pressing a brief kiss to Emerald’s lips before pulling back. She tilted her head, tucking Emerald’s still-wet hair behind her ear.
“
Now… let’s go dry off.
”
Notes:
G-AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Chapter 76: Chaos
Summary:
The gems go to the construction.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“My own death does
not frighten me.
But yours?
Oh, that is my
greatest, deepest fear.”
-Unknown
. . .
The first frames and walls of Little Homeworld were up, the foundation sturdy. There were gems working everywhere, and they had to be careful not to walk into anyone.
Emerald held onto Pearl’s arm, looking around at the growing buildings. Feelings of peace and joy were seemingly in the air, with the gems around them laughing and talking to one another while they worked.
Pearl set her other hand on Emerald’s arm, and Emerald looked over. Pearl gave her a small smile as she squeezed her arm gently.
“ I’ll be right back. ” She murmured, wanting to catch and talk to someone while she could. Emerald nodded and let go of her arm, the two of them looking at one another for another moment.
Pearl wanted to kiss Emerald’s cheek, but refrained. She hardly wanted to deal with the embarrassingly inappropriate teasing of her fellow rebels at the moment, as well as the fact that the two of them hadn’t yet talked about telling everyone.
Pearl herself was mostly sure that Emerald was as ready as herself ready to tell the others that they were romantically involved, but it couldn’t hurt to have a conversation about it with her first.
. . .
Eventually Pearl turned away, gently brushing their hands together as she walked away.
Emerald stayed behind with Amethyst and Garnet, keeping to herself as gems came up to talk to them. Garnet was in the middle of asking a Quartz a few feet away what she could help out with, when they heard a small rumbling.
Emerald looked down, seeing a small rock shaking back and forth on the ground below.
“Uh… Garnet ?” Amethyst asked, and Garnet suddenly tensed. Before she could say anything however, they heard screaming.
Then they saw the cause.
“ RUN! ” Someone shouted, and Emerald was assaulted with noise. There was shouting, gems shrieking in fear and pain, as well as overall panic as a stampede of corrupted gems barged through Little Homeworld.
They tore into foundations and gems, chaos taking over in an instant. It was unclear where they had come from, the only definitive fact being that no one had seen them coming.
Garnet quickly wrapped her arm around Emerald’s waist, pulling her out of the open and against a wall. Garnet’s other hand had grabbed Amethyst by the shoulder, doing the same.
All around them Rebels locked into combat, but far too many had never faced an enemy like this before, leading to swift losses. The world around Emerald was a blur of noise and motion, and she was intimately aware of the rush of her own breath.
When Garnet let go Emerald managed to spot Pearl, using her spear to take out as many of the corrupted gems as she could reach. She had a tense yet focused look on her face from what she could see, a stark contrast to the fear of battle she had witnessed in Pearl’s memories.
Suddenly a corrupted game came barreling toward them, and Emerald became separated from Garnet and Amethyst when she dove out of the way. The gem crashed into the wall, and rubble went flying.
She held her arms back to protect her gem as the ground thundered around her, worried that it would get trampled. The rush around her somehow became more real this close to the ground, feeling the vibrations through the dirt and only somewhat seeing the blur of shadows as the corrupted germs ran by.
Craws scratched her form as a few stepped over her, but despite the pain and panic she instinctually kept her hands firmly over her gem.
Suddenly someone grabbed under her shoulder, pulling Emerald to her feet. She caught eyes with Pearl, who’s fear was betrayed in the way she held her arm tightly. Pearl quickly reached out to stab her spear into a passing gem with her other hand, a cloud of smoke blowing Emerald’s hair back.
Then Pearl looked to her, and Emerald could see the crack running through her gem.
“ Pearl -” She whispered with trembling breath, unsure if she even made a sound.
. . .
Something about the way Emerald spoke cut deep into Pearl, hearing the pain and fear in her voice. Screams and shouts continued around them, and she tried to look for a path to get Emerald to safety.
She started moving, sticking close to buildings as she fell deeper into the hard focus that came with the rush of combat. Emerald stuck close to her, and despite the fact that she might need both her hands soon, Pearl couldn’t bear to let go of her hand.
Suddenly a Quartz came charging straight for them, and Pearl knew they wouldn’t be able to move in time. She was ready to fight, to deform another corrupted gem as she had been for five thousand years.
However, Emerald was faster.
She rushed forward, pushed Pearl out of the way. For a moment Pearl was truly and deeply afraid for her, before Steven shouted.
“ GUYS !”
Suddenly a sphere of pink went around them, just in time for the Quartz to charge into it. Emerald and Pearl were knocked off their feet, the bubble crashing into a half-finished building that had since caved in. It popped upon impact, the force throwing the two of them back against the rubble with force.
Pearl’s form ached, and as the shouting around them continued, she pulled herself up. Emerald was slowly standing as well, but she suddenly looked drained. She staggered to stand, leaning heavily on a large piece of wall.
“ Pearl -“
Suddenly Emerald’s form glitched, and Pearl could swear she’d never moved faster than she did in that moment. She caught Emerald’s arms before she could fall, feeling her trembling. There were various glowing scratches on her back, most likely only adding to the pain.
Emerald leaned into her when her form glitched once more, breathing heavily as she trembled. Pearl felt her own form glitch, but held strong. It was something she had learned during the war, how to keep going despite the pain of being cracked.
“Just hold on.” She said, still short of breath as she moved to put her arms around her. “We’re going to get out of this. Together.”
Emerald held on tight, nodding once slowly. They held one another close, light blooming in their vision.
. . .
Everything hurt, but Granite was far more coherent than either of them had been before. She found herself unsteady, but she forced herself to keep walking to assess the situation better.
Corrupted gems were still storming through, and there were so many that she had a passing thought that it was unnatural . Her form glitched, and for a moment they almost unfused, before she forced herself back together, gritting her teeth. She pressed a hand to her chest, her breaths ragged.
“ Hold on .”
Knowing she had to help, Granite pushed off the wall, starting to run into the thick of the crowd as she became more steady. It was barely a few moments before she heard someone shouting, looking to the side.
“ GRANITE !” Garnet shouted, and Granite skidded to a stop. There was an unfamiliar fear in Garnet’s voice, and they stared at one another for a few moments.
Then Granite closed her hands into fists, before turning back to the task at hand.
. . .
Gems continued to rush by, and she spotted where a few of them were straying. She ran across the crowd, sliding under one corrupted gem before leaping over another.
She brought her fingers to her mouth, whistling as loud as she could as she read he’d the edge of the stampede. She caught the attention of the straying gems, before having to run with them hot on her trail.
As she ran in the blink of an eye she was surrounded by stone.
A half of her recognized the signs of worrying hallucinations, and knew it could split her apart. Her form glitched, nearly taking her to the ground, but she kept pushing. She had to get them away from everyone.
I have to get away. The thought sent another spike of fear through her.
“ No .” She grit her teeth, forcing herself to push past it and keep running, trying to convince herself that she wasn’t running away this time.
She knew that the beach was just past the hill ahead, and as she created the top she slid down it.
Before she could stop herself, she pulled Pearl's spear out of the gem on her forehead. The action was paired with further cracking, and she bit her tongue to keep focus.
She laid close to the ground, as as a dark blue corrupted Quartz jumped over her, she managed to thrust the spear into it.
She had to get up quick after that, not having time to bubble the gem as a corrupted nephrite came at her. She had to dodge the acid it spit at her, a small amount singing her shoulder.
She winced, before having to jump over it. Mid air she threw the spear into it, re-summoning the weapon as she landed. She spun it quickly to catch another corrupted gem on the side, but in the resulting cloud didn’t see the gem.
She turned her sights on the final two racing at her, having to dodge out of the way of the yellow Quartz before re-summoning the spear again in time to run it through a corrupted zircon.
Then everything was in slow motion.
The wind was knocked out of her when the yellow Quartz rammed into her from behind, impaling her with its horns and pushing her away.
The spear slipped out of her hand, sliding out of reach across the sand. She knew she was falling, and she desperately turned as she did, swinging an arm toward the Quartz.
She didn’t know what she expected to happen; hardly knowing what would happen after she deformed. She heard the shifting of sand and the Quartz crying out, and felt the rush of smoke push back her hair as it deformed.
Then she hit the ground, falling apart. The two gems deformed from the shear strain on their forms, coming to rest leaning against one another in the sand.
And in that moment, the rush of the ocean became the only sound.
Notes:
Don’t worry, no MCD this time ‘round!
Chapter 77: Returning
Summary:
The aftermath of the stampede
Chapter Text
Steven adjusted Pearl’s gem for what Amethyst felt to be the thousandth time, making sure that it wouldn’t fall out of the small blanket nest he had made.
They had found Pearl and Emerald on the beach, cracked and poofed with various corrupted gems poofed around them. The stampede had lasted a measly ten minutes, but to Amethyst it felt like hours as everything quickly descended into chaos.
“ That fusion has a complex. ” She grumbled, clearly worried despite her irate tone. She looked over at the poofed gems from where she lay on the couch, sighing.
Garnet looked as well, and Steven finished adjusting Pearl’s gem. “Haven’t we all been there, for love?” she asked, and amethyst sat up at that.
“ Love ?” She asked seriously, but Steven spoke before Garnet could.
“What matters is that they’re both okay.”
Garnet nodded at that, crossing her arms.
. . .
There was a solemn quiet that replaced the bustle of Little Homeworld, as the cracked and deformed gems were gathered and fixed. Bismuth was adamant about doing better this time, rebuilding the foundations so that they couldn’t be surprised like this again.
It was still unknown as to what happened, because the Crystal Gems knew that corrupted gems just didn’t do things like this. Sure, they would attack, but never so many different types and never all at once.
Even if only around twenty gems were gone, it felt like Little Homeworld’s population had shrunk by a lot more. As the days went by more came back, and the rubble was slowly being cleared away.
Steven had dedicated time to making sure everyone was healed after the incident, fixing cracked gems and healing gems who had damaged forms but hadn’t poofed. Ronaldo was in town at the time of the stampede, but luckily he had gotten out with a minor black eye that was easily healed.
It was nearly two weeks after the stampede at this point, and Garnet had gone home. At least one of them was home for a few hours every day, wanting to be able to explain what happened after the stampede to Pearl and Emerald when they returned.
Steven slept on the couch during that time, tired as he hadn’t gotten much sleep due to his worry about them.
She sat on the couch, petting the cats and waiting for the time when her visions would become the present.
. . .
As always, there was a pull back to consciousness. Last time this happened she had resisted, but in this moment she welcomed the feeling. She could feel her form returning, albeit different than before.
When Emerald opened her eyes, she was slightly disoriented. She blinked a few times, her eyes adjusting to the soft light coming through the windows.
“ Emerald .”
Emerald turned, seeing Garnet standing up off the couch. Ella sauntered over, rubbing her head and body against Emerald’s leg. Emerald didn't pay much attention to that however, worried more about who wasn’t there.
“Garnet?” She asked with an edge of nervousness, looking around slightly. “Where’s-?”
“It’s okay.” Garnet interrupted, before walking past her. “She’s right here.” Upon turning Emerald saw the other gem on the counter, tucked into a small blanket.
The lack of Amethyst’s gem told her that the Quartz must’ve made it out or reformed already, and she doubted Garnet would be this calm if something happened to Steven.
Emerald reached out carefully, cradling Pearl’s gem in her open hands. She ran her thumb over its surface, just as smooth but cool to the touch.
“How long?” She asked Garnet, who now held a cat in each arm.
“Eleven days.”
Emerald nodded, setting Pearl’s gem back into the blanket nest she assumed Steven had made. She sighed, touching a hand to her chest as if reassuring herself that the two of them had made it out unshattered.
Garnet let Cat Steven down on the ground, still holding Ella as she set her free hand on the counter to draw Emerald’s attention. “...Why did you jump in front of her like that?” She asked after a moment, and Emerald looked back to Pearl’s gem.
“ ...I wasn’t going to let her shatter. ” At that moment, she was more afraid that Pearl would shatter than herself. “ And I- I thought, maybe I could go through it again, if it meant that Pearl would never know how it feels. ”
She inhaled a shuddering breath, remembering the rush of noise and fear and pain that felt all consuming in those moments. Garnet set down Ella as well, offering her arms for a hug. Emerald gratefully accepted, holding onto garnet as Garnet gently held her in turn.
“Are you alright?” Garnet asked, and Emerald sighed into her chest.
“ ...That was terrifying. ”
“I know.”
Garnet set her hand on Emerald’s back, and she could feel the warmth of ruby’s gem through the fabric.
“You’re never scared.” Emerald countered, and Garnet held her a bit closer.
“I was scared then. I thought Granite was going to get you two shattered.” Garnet didn’t want to say how prominent that future was; how close both Emerald and Pearl had come to shattering that day, as many others nearly did.
“She’s both of your love… and both of your care.” She continued, moving to set her hand on Emerald’s shoulder. “…But she’s also both of your recklessness.”
Emerald nodded solemnly, before hearing someone running up the stairs. “ Emerald !”
Emerald smiled when Steven burst through the door, a smile on his face. He hesitated before giving her a hug, and Emerald wondered if Garnet had talked to him about it or if he thought of it on his own.
She wrapped her arms around him for a hug, and Steven’s ‘I missed you’ was only amplified by his tight embrace.
“Nice look, E.” Amethyst commented, and Emerald could see she had arrived as well. She let go of her hug from Steven, smiling and touching a hand to her chest.
“ Thank you. ”
. . .
The next few days were relatively calm, even if Emerald didn’t leave the house. She wanted to wait, wanting to be there when Pearl reformed.
Her absence was noticeable, and Emerald missed her. Still, she wasn’t too worried. She knew that Pearl would be back soon, and they could talk about what happened.
Emerald crossed her arms, leaning against the railing of the balcony. The ocean wind fluttered her hair lightly, although not enough to be a bother. Garnet stood next to her, the two of them occupying a comforting silence.
. . .
Pearl blinked a few times, adjusting to her surroundings as the light from reforming faded.
Almost immediately she was nearly knocked over, the sudden hug from Steven accompanied with an exclamation of “ Pearl !”
“ Steven .” She said with an exhale, setting a hand on his head. It was relieving to know that Steven was alright, and seemingly uninjured.
“Hey, P.” Amethyst greeted from the couch, a smile on her face. She was laying flat on her back, Ella laying on her chest. “I guess I would hug you, but Ella’s got me.”
“... Pearl .”
Pearl turned, feeling Steven let go of her. Emerald and Garnet stood in the door of the beach house, having just come in from the balcony. She felt relieved that they were alright, and she smiled at the joy in Emerald’s eyes.
The next thing she noticed was Emerald’s form, a stark contrast to the plain deep green she had worn as long as Pearl knew her. She was wearing a dress for one, a vibrant purple with faint flowers that complimented the green of her hair and eyes. Over that she wore a blue sweater of a darker shade, small white stars speckled throughout.
The two of them met in the middle, embracing one another as if to remind themselves that everything was finally alright now. Emerald held Pearl close as she did the same, sighing deeply into her shoulder.
. . .
Amethyst smiled at the small reunion, before remembering what Garnet said the week before.
Suddenly, it clicked.
“Haven’t we all been there, for love?”
Meeting Granite for the first time, Amethyst had seen the joy the fusion seemed to take simply existing.
Waking up in the morning after Steven’s sleepover, seeing Pearl’s arm on Emerald’s waist and not thinking deeper about it.
Emerald going into the temple in a heartbeat at the mention of Pearl being upset, even though she usually seemed uncomfortable in there.
Multiple times since then, seeing the two of them sit just the smallest bit closer than before.
“ Woah .” She said suddenly, before lifting Ella up so she could sit up properly. She set the cat down in her lap, Her eyes widening as the others turned their attention to her.
Emerald and Pearl let go of their hug, but this time Amethyst didn’t miss the way Emerald’s hands lingered on Pearl’s waist. She squinted slightly, looking between the two of them.
. . .
“...Are you guys like… together ?” Amethyst suddenly asked, and Pearl felt Emerald tense slightly as her own eyes widened, her face flushing slightly.
Garnet gained a minute smile behind her, and Steven gasped. He gained a smile so big Pearl had a passing wonder if he was going to explode, setting his hands on his cheeks as he turned to them.
“Guyyyyyys!” He said excitedly, and no one in the room missed the fact that neither were denying it. Steven looked as though he had eaten a full bag of sugar, and Amethyst leaned back into the couch with a relaxed smile as the moment’s tension faded.
“Since when did you two get together?” She asked, and Pearl knew her face must be fully blue at this point.
She glanced back at Emerald, who's hands still lingered on her waist, and saw that despite being flushed as well, the excitement of the moment had given her a shy smile.
Pearlherself couldn’t help but smile at that, turning back to look at Amethyst. Emerald’s hands moved, but only so that she could hug Pearl from behind and look over her shoulder.
“Well…” She hesitated for a moment, chuckling lightly in spite of herself.
“Remember when you two met Granite?” Garnet butt in, pausing for a moment to let the words sink in.
“...Then.” Emerald added before Garnet could, setting her chin over Pearl’s shoulder as she felt Pearl’s hand touch her own.
“That was weeks ago!” Steven said, jokingly looking as though he had been betrayed.
“We needed time .” Pearl added, twirling her free hand in a light gesture. She looked back to Emerald, smiling with love in her eyes. “…But I suppose the cat is out of the bag.”
“Mhm.” Emerald murmured, before slowly letting go of her. She moved to sit next to Amethyst on the couch, and Ella settled herself in Emerald’s lap.
“I know it might be… awkward .” Pearl said eventually, figuring now was as good a time as any to broach the subject.
Steven sat down on Amethyst’s other side, reaching to pet Cat Steven from where she had come over for attention as well.
Amethyst shrugged lightly, moving to sit with her legs crossed. “I’m fine with it, as long as you two aren’t snogging each other all the time.”
“ Amethyst !” Pearl scolded. “Don’t be so crude !”
“What, Steven’s fifteen , he can take it!” Amethyst countered.
Emerald tilted her head, looking rather confused. “ Later .” Pearl added on quickly, before she could ask what ‘ snogging ’ meant.
“ Fine .” Amethyst conceded eventually. Pearl sighed, settling herself down on the couch next to Emerald. Garnet sat down as well, sitting on the part of the couch perpendicular to them.
Emerald took Pearl’s hand, lacing their fingers together. Pearl leaned her head against Emerald’s shoulder in turn, feeling the softness of her new sweater.
“ I like the form. ” She commented, and Emerald fidgeted nervously with the fabric of her skirt.
“ Are you sure ?” She asked hesitantly. “ Are the stars too much? I know that stars are your guys’ thing, I just- ”
“They look beautiful on you.” Pearl interrupted, squeezing her hand gently.
“P’s right. You’re one of us.” Amethyst commented, crossing her arms matter-of-factly.
“A true crystal gem.” Garnet commented, taking off her visor so Emerald could see the smile in her eyes.
“Yeah!” Steven exclaimed. Garnet smiled, setting her visor back on.
“Welcome back.”
Chapter 78: Recovery
Summary:
Everyone helps out with Little Homeworld.
Emerald meets someone new.
Connie finally gets a chance to talk.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Little Homeworld was recovering, if slowly. Most of the rubble had been cleared, and once more gems were working diligently on the new buildings.
The next morning, they had gone to see what they could assist with in the reparations. Garnet had gone to help Bismuth in the forge, Steven was working with a few others to heal the corrupted gems they had managed to deform during the stampede, and Amethyst was helping Lapis with the largest of the rubble.
Pearl and Emerald worked with Biggs and some other quartzes and nephrites to remove rubble as well, clearing the way for bismuth’s crew to come through and start repairs.
They had only been at it for a few hours at most, eventually falling into the same motions as everyone helped in the recovery.
Pearl picked up a larger piece of rubble with one hand, albeit with slight difficulty. Gems were naturally stronger than humans, but their abilities weren’t limitless.
Emerald had been moving some of the smaller pieces, but when Pearl held the larger piece out to her to move while she grabbed another, Emerald held out her hands to take it.
Then, Pearl let go.
. . .
The chuck of rubble suddenly seemed to weigh a lot more, and Emerald was nearly taken to the ground by how heavy it was.
Pearl quickly looked from where she had turned back to the remaining rubble, watching as Emerald struggled to pick it up.
A few other gems nearby looked toward her as well, and Emerald felt her face flush with embarrassment as she tried and failed to pick up the debris once more. After a moment she stopped, holding her hands tight at her sides as she felt uncomfortable at the direct attention.
“ Uh… I’m just going to go see… if… Bismuth… needs more help. ” She said quietly, before briskly walking away in the direction of the newly-repaired forge.
Once she turned a corner she sighed, her shoulders sinking. She remembered struggling slightly to carry Steven before, but at the time she thought it was normal. Only recently, she had been noticing it was far from normal.
However, she wasn’t blind to what the problem might be. After all, there was one big difference between her and most of the other gems in Little Homeworld.
She was off-color.
They were not.
“...Emerald?”
Emerald paused, turning to see that Pearl had followed her. She looked worried, her hands fidgeting nervously. “...Are you alright?”
Emerald glanced away from her, a weight in her chest. “ I just… I don’t think I can. ”
It was ridiculous, to be this upset over something so small as lifting a piece of rock, and yet, Emerald found herself feeling as though she might cry. Pearl moved closer, offering her hands.
Emerald slowly reached forward, talking her hands. They stood in silence for a moment, before she moved closer for a hug.
“ Do you want to talk about it? ” Pearl murmured, and Emerald held on a bit tighter.
“... No .”
She didn’t want to think about the fact that everything recently had been constant reminders that she wasn’t strong, and there was nothing she could do about it.
“... Alright .” Pearl murmured, giving her a slight squeeze.
“Emerald!”
Emerald let go of the hug, seeing Rhodonite walking toward them. Fluorite wasn't far behind, although she seemed to be struggling to move around all the debris with her larger size. “-You’re alright!”
“Rhodonite.” She said in return as the fusion quickly wrapped her in a hug, squeezing just below too tight. When she let go, Emerald had a chance to notice that it was just the two of them.
“Where’s Padparadscha and the twins?” She asked, and Rhodonite’s look of relief changed to one of slight worry.
“Padparadscha is Off with her Ruby friend.” She said, before glancing away. “The Twins…”
“The… Twins… Are… Being… Healed… By… Steven.” Fluorite finished for her, and at Emerald’s surprised look Rhodonite nodded.
“They were hit when those monsters came barging through.” It was then that Rhodonite seemed to notice Emerald’s new form, and she looked up again.
“Did you get hit, too?” She asked, and Emerald chuckled nervously.
“Heh… something like that. ” She said, glancing back at Pearl.
“You… Look… Wonderful .” Fluorite commented, and Emerald looked back to them with a small smile.
. . .
The three of them talked a bit more, Rhodonite mentioning that they were just taking a break when the stampede had it, and while the Rutiles had gotten deformed, she and Padparadcha were able to hide behind fluorite, who’s form the corrupted gems couldn’t make a dent in.
Pearl noticed that despite being happy to talk to the others, Emerald also looked profoundly tired. It made sense, as the chaos of the stampede had disrupted her stability, which she hadn’t had for a while before.
“We should be going.” She said eventually, keeping a polite smile on her face as she gently took Emerald’s hand from her side.
“ ...Thank you .” Emerald murmured after a few moments, moving closer so that she was shoulder-to-shoulder with Pearl. Pearl let go of her hand, opting instead to take her arm. “ ...I love them, but it’s… a lot right now. ”
“I understand.” Pearl said in return, nodding. “...Hence why we’re going home.”
“ ...You don’t have to come with me. ” Emerald said, glancing away. “ I know you want to help out. ”
“I am helping.” Pearl countered, setting her other hand over Emerald’s arm. “I’m helping you .”
As they made their way to the edges of Little Homeworld’s foundation, Emerald sighed. She knew not to fight Pearl on this, as she wouldn’t give in.
She hadn’t really wanted to be alone, anyway.
“ PEARL !” Someone suddenly called, and a gem swiftly ran toward them. She skidded to a stop before she could collide with them, although tension was clear in her body language. “-You’re back!”
The gem’s skin was a light orange, her peach-colored hair short around her chin and a pearl shining on her chest. There were feathers mixed in her hair, as well as a few sprouting from her shoulders, and her gem was covered in a wave pattern.
“I saw you get cracked!” The gem exclaimed, her eyes wide.
“I’m alright now.” Pearl commented with a nod, before looking back to Emerald. “Emerald, this is…”
Then she paused, seeming unsure. She looked toward the mystery gem, who gave a small smile. She held out her hand, seeming more relaxed now.
“... Hope .” She said with a smile, although there was hurt in her eyes.
“Hope, this is Emerald.” Pearl said, gesturing to her.
“Oh I don’t really… shake hands.” Emerald commented, nodding politely despite the nervous smile on her face.
Hope pulled her hand back, opting instead to smile sweetly. “ Alright .”
. . .
Pearl turned the page of her book, the sound soft in the quiet house. The two sat side by side, Emerald casually leaning against Pearl’s side to read over her shoulder.
Garnet stood in the kitchen, more focused on the future than anything in the present.
“That’s a nice one.” She commented suddenly, smiling a bit mischievously. “Although, you’re going to be sad when-”
“ No spoilers! ” Emerald and Pearl exclaimed in unison, looking up at her, and Garnet couldn’t help but chuckle under her breath.
“ Alright .”
There was a few more minutes of quiet, before Garnet suddenly looked up. “Connie is going to ask how you two got together.”
“ What ?” Pearl questioned, but Garnet just nodded. She held up three fingers, then two, then one, before pointing to the door. Just as she did, they heard a knock. Garnet went to open the door, and sure enough, it was Connie.
“Come in.” Garnet said politely, and Connie settled herself down on the other couch. She had a rather large smile on her face, unable to stop looking between Emerald and Pearl. “Now that Steven knows, I’ve been meaning to ask…”
“…How this happened.” Pearl added when she trailed off, setting her book down on the coffee table in favor of putting her arm around Emerald’s waist.
“How did you-?” Connie seemed to realize mid-sentence, glancing over to the fusion. “Oh, probably Garnet.”
“Good guess.” Garnet commented with a nod, crossing her arms.
“I shouldn’t be surprised you figured it out, I mean we weren’t exactly hiding anything.” Pearl said with a smile, feeling as Emerald set her hand over the arm around her waist.
“Well… I did see you during the sleepover.” Connie said.
Garnet looked up at that, and Pearl glanced toward Emerald, who hunched her shoulders a bit.
“ ...I really shouldn’t’ve slept. ”
. . .
“I started catching feelings a while back, but I was far too nervous to do anything about it.” Pearl said, taking Emerald’s hand in her own and lacing their fingers together.
Emerald smiled, nodding as well. “I think I started to love Pearl for a while. I just didn’t know what it was.” She chuckled lightly, remembering Kiki and Jenny trying their hardest to explain metaphors she didn’t know. “-I had to have human help with that.”
“Who asked who out?” Connie asked, looking invested. Both Pearl and Emerald were flushed by this point, and Emerald glanced away with a smile on her face.
“Emerald.” Pearl said with a smile, holding her just a bit closer.
“That’s so sweet!” Connie said with a big grin, before her phone began ringing. She picked it up, listening for a moment.
“On my way!” She said, before standing up and hanging up. “I have to go.”
“We can talk another time.” Pearl commented, and Connie smiled before bidding them goodbye.
. . .
“It was sweet.” Perl commented after a few moments, turning to press a kiss to the top of Emerald’s head. Emerald relaxed, making a small humming sound as she moved closer.
Garnet smiled, watching the two of them having a chance to rest and relax.
Notes:
If this chapter sounds weird for whatever reason, I’m sick right now, and decided to write anyway.
Chapter 79: Like a Pearl
Summary:
Pearl struggles with Homeworld's teachings.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Pearl’s room was soothingly quiet, the only sounds being the rush of water all around them. It was something Emerald had gotten used to by now, and overall found comfortingly consistent.
Another week had passed, and for the most part things had settled down. Every gem that got hit was reformed at this point, returning to work on Little Homeworld, as well as catching the corrupted gems that had gone missing after the stampede.
Emerald held Pearl by the arm, trusting her enough to close her eyes. Pearl had told her there was something new in the temple, and she wanted to be surprised.
She kept her eyes closed as she felt them going up what felt like a ramp, something she knew Pearl didn’t have in her room.
“ You can open your eyes. ” Pearl murmured eventually, and Emerald slowly did.
The first thing she noticed was that they were on a new path, one that curled around one of the pools in the back of the room. In front of them as a new platform, although this one wasn’t made of water.
A ring above them was held up by small pillars, water flowing down around them while leaving the center open to look up at the ceiling.
Emerald’s eyes were wide, finding the sight beautiful.
In the center of the platform there was a bed, designed to look like an open seashell. It looked soft and comfortable as well, and Emerald smiled.
“Bismuth made it for me.” Pearl commented, letting go of her arm. Emerald reached out, touching the surface of the cushion gently.
“It's so soft.” She commented, before climbing onto it. She smiled back up at Pearl as she sat down, before gently patting the spot next to her.
. . .
Pearl smiled, before moving to join her.
The two of them laid back, looking up at the lights drifting around the ceiling.
Pearl closed her eyes for a moment, suddenly feeling conflicted.
They had laid together in similar situations, but something felt different about this time. There was a strange weight in her chest, this moment feeling so right , yet so profoundly wrong .
She didn’t know why this feeling was resurfacing all at once when everything around her was perfect, just that she felt like sinking to the bottom of one of her pools and never coming out.
Despite the peace and quiet and the knowledge that her love was here with her, she just couldn’t shake away the past.
. . .
“Pearl.”
Pearl had looked up from where she was hugging Rose, quietly listening. It was earlier on in the war this happened, when it was still just the two of them.
“Yes?” She had asked, seeing that Rose looked unsure of herself.
“Maybe we can try just sitting next to each other.” Rose suggested, speaking gently as though Pearl would break from her words. “I don’t…”
She hesitated for a moment, before seemingly changing what she wanted to say. “…We don’t want to give everything away.”
Pearl knew what she meant. Only a Pearl and her owner would act so close; or have this kind of affection.
And even though as the years went by and Rose seemed to care less, even kissing her to fuse more easily, Pearl herself could never shake the feeling deep down that something about it was wrong.
. . .
“ ...Are you alright? ”
Pearl opened her eyes, sitting up quickly. “Yes. Yes .” She repeated, feeling as though she was trying to convince herself . “I just…”
She set her face in her hands, embarrassed that she was having so much trouble with something so simple. “ ...I tried so hard not to want this. ”
Emerald sat up fully, moving to sit next to her as Pearl lowered her hands, her eyes distant and conflicted.
“ I’m made to want to be close to… someone. ” For some reason Pearl couldn’t bring herself to say it, even though they both knew who exactly she was talking about. “ For so long… I’ve been trying not to… ”
She struggled to find the right words to encompass thousands of years of life as an object to everyone but Rose, and how it felt to have to start to unlearn everything when they committed to the rebellion.
“ ...Well, to be so much like a Pearl . ”
Pearl said the word with a degree of disconnection, as though it was an ideal rather than something she was . She inhaled deeply, before sighing. She looked over to Emerald, looking into her eyes for a moment before looking away again.
“...But now, I… I want to.” She moved her hand slowly, looking out of the corner of her eye so that she could set it over Emerald’s. “I want to be close, like this , all the time.”
“I want to hold you, hug you, stars , I want to kiss you every chance I get.” She gently closed her hand as she felt her cheeks flush, feeling as Emerald set her other hand on her arm. “ …I just don’t know how much of it is me anymore. ”
. . .
Emerald looked away, trying to figure out what she could say. She took a deep breath, her hand holding Pearl’s arm with a minute amount of pressure.
“... Do you love me the way you loved her? ” She asked hesitantly, her voice quiet as she looked away. She felt selfish for asking something along those lines, but she knew that Pearl herself needed the answer as much as she did.
After a moment of tense silence, Pearl broke into a breathless chuckle. It sounded as though she was on the verge of crying as she hung her head, and her hand tightened over Emerald’s.
“ Stars, no . ” Her response sounded bittersweet, as though it cut deep to even say. When Pearl looked up at her, despite the tears brimming her eyes she was smiling slightly. “This feels so… different .”
Pearl didn’t know how to tell her that this didn’t hurt the way loving Rose did, and even though Rose had tried so hard to move past the imbalance that lay between them, in the end she couldn’t.
Emerald’s reply was even more bittersweet somehow, and her grip tightened slightly to emphasize her point as she looked Pearl in the eyes. “... Good .”
She never wanted to hurt Pearl the way Rose clearly did, whether she meant for it to happen or not. She never wanted Pearl to question how much she loved her, and she didn’t want Pearl to feel as though she had to sacrifice herself to earn it.
Emerald moved her hands to wrap them around her, needing comfort as much as she was giving it. Pearl moved so that she could properly hold her, the two of them holding on as though they could never bear to let go.
After a minute or two Emerald moved her head back, keeping one hand on Pearl’s side as she used her other to wipe away the tears on her cheeks. She sniffed slightly, the two of them smiling at one another for a moment. Then she reached up, gently wiping the tears away from Pearl’s eyes as well, before setting her hand on her cheek.
“ You did say you wanted to hold and hug me. ” She murmured, gently stroking Pearl’s cheek with her thumb despite there being no more tears to move. She smiled gently, looking at her task as she did instead of Pearl’s eyes. “ -And I believe you have. ”
Her smile then turned a bit mischievous, and her eyes were half-lidded when she looked into Pearl’s once more. “ ...But I do recall there was a third thing on that list. ”
She moved her other hand to Pearl’s other cheek, warm to the touch as Pearl flushed turquoise. “ ...May I kiss you? ” She asked, and Pearl was breathless enough it took her a moment to reply.
“ ...Whenever you’d like. ” She whispered eventually, and Emerald’s smile brightened further she she pulled her in gently.
The kiss was gentle and so very Emerald in a way that made Pearl feel warm. She knew she would never tire of showing her love this way, not when she loved Emerald this much.
Emerald curled a lock of Pearl’s hair around her finger, and Pearl moved her hands to touch Emerald’s hair as well. She once more admired the texture of it, while careful not to pull her hair by accident.
They drifted apart slowly, and Emerald’s hands drifted down Pearl’s neck to her shoulders. Pearl’s hands moved from her hair to her cheeks, then to her arms, before touching Emerald's waist.
Then she let go, adjusting herself so that she could lay back comfortably. Emerald followed, the two of them looking up at the artificial flowing light above.
Pearl turned herself over, so she could sling an arm over Emerald’s waist and look at her instead. Emerald had no objections, setting her hand in Pearl’s hair when Pearl’s chin rested over her arm.
Pearl looked lovingly into her eyes for a moment, before seeing an opportunity where the collar of Emerald’s sweater had pulled down a bit, showing some of her neck. She moved closer slowly, before pressing her lips to the spot.
“ Pearl -!” Emerald said quickly, clearly surprised. Pearl moved back, thinking she had done something Emerald didn’t like without asking, but Emerald looked flushed and embarrassed.
She looked at Pearl for a moment before glancing away, her cheeks becoming darker as she murmured quietly. “ ...That tickles. ”
Pearl smiled mischievously at that, and Emerald barely had a moment to say her name in warning before Pearl was pressing kisses to her neck, her jaw, her cheek, and Emerald was laughing.
Pearl smiled, and murmured “
I Love You”
into her skin so many times Emerald didn’t know if it was possible to hear them all.
Notes:
Ironically, “She struggled to find the right words” was me writing this at the start.
. . .
Ok, Y’all will never believe me about this. I had writer’s block writing the first part of this, then I took a break to eat dinner. We ordered Chinese food. I opened a fortune cookie while me and my dad watched a show, and my fortune said “On Thursday, your creativity will soar to new heights.”
I LITERALLY MADE A JOKE TO MY DAD ABOUT HOW IT LIED BECAUSE I HAD WRITER’S BLOCK, BUT THEN WHEN WE WERE DONE I CAME UPSTAIRS AND FINISHED THE REST OF THE CHAPTER WITHOUT WRITER’S BLOCK LIKE WTF WHAT EVERLOST MAGIC IS THIS
Chapter 80: Difficult
Summary:
Emerald is having a hard time.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Emerald looked down at the jacket in her hand, running the tips of her fingers over the seams. Pearl sat behind her, gently braiding her longer hair as Emerald looked at the changes on the back of her jacket.
The bright yellow star remained front and center, but there were new patches around it. Emerald wondered how she hadn’t noticed them before.
There were five of them, a visual representation of their small family. Steven’s gem itself had a few small stars around it, something Emerald knew was meant to show that it was him and not Rose. Ruby and Sapphire’s gems were close together, and Amethyst’s was there as well.
Emerald ran her thumb over the one that represented her own, looking at the waves of orange and red along the edges. She glanced down for a moment, looking at the edge of her sleeve where the material covered her scars.
She felt Pearl gently let go of her hair as she tied off the end, before she leaned forward to wrap her arms around her waist. Pearl looked over her shoulder for a moment, holding her gently.
“… I could change it. ” She murmured, knowing what was bugging Emerald all too well.
“ No .” Emerald looked back to the jacket in her hands as she spoke, her expression solemn. “ ...This is the truth. I prefer it to be what’s really there. ”
She held the jacket a bit closer, glancing away. “I… can’t exactly pretend that it’s not.”
Pearl pressed a small kiss behind her ear, but Emerald didn’t react. She seemed too distracted by the passings of her mind, not paying much attention to reality.
“I know that face... is something else wrong? ” Pearl asked her gently, and Emerald seemed to snap back to reality. She looked down, her shoulders relaxing as she sighed deeply.
“ It’s not… something you can fix. ” Emerald said slowly, knowing that no amount of kind words or cuddles could erase the complexity of her existence.
“Would you like a hug?” Pearl asked instead, and Emerald nodded slowly.
“ Mhm .”
Pearl let go, moving to lean back on the pillows behind her. Emerald moved to lay against her, her head resting on Pearl’s shoulder. Pearl gently took her jacket from Emerald’s grip, moving to set it over her love’s shoulders instead.
She held her close, and Emerald did the same. Her voice was quiet when she spoke, her breath warm against Pearl’s bare shoulder. “ ...I don’t know why it’s still so hard to talk about it. ”
“... Shouldn’t it be easier after all this time? ” She asked quietly, but Pearl had no answer for her. She held Emerald a bit closer, wishing she could take the hurt away.
Emerald let out a shuddering breath, letting go so she could set a hand over one side of her face. She sounded tired, as though her very thoughts themselves were exhausting.
“ Sorry… ” She murmured, and Pearl was quick to reassure her.
“ It’s okay... ” She said quietly, moving to set her hand over Emerald’s to move it away from her face. “ ...Is there anything I can do? ”
Emerald looked into her eyes for a moment, before hugging her tightly.
“ This is good. ” She said into Pearl’s neck, and Pearl gave her a gentle hug in return.
“ ...Alright. ”
Notes:
Sorry the chapter is so short!
Chapter 81: Sardonyx
Summary:
Emerald gets a chance to see Sardonyx again.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
When they emerged from the temple, everyone else was awake and in the main house. Garnet stood by the kitchen, gently scratching behind Cat Stevens' ear from where the cat sat on the counter.
“ Morning !” Steven said merrily, muffled a bit by his pancakes. Amethyst sat up from where she had been haphazardly sprawled across the couch next to Steven, slinging an arm over the top of the cushion so she wouldn’t fall back down.
“Hey, P.” Pearl looked over, and Amethyst took that as her cue that she had Pearl’s attention. “-Are you coming today? Some gem named Red Quartz said she wanted to talk to you.”
Pearl blinked a few times, surprised by the name. “Of course.” She answered, wondering what the Quartz would ask her considering most -if not all - of the uncorrupted gems had been briefed on what they’d missed.
“I think I’ll stay home this time.” Emerald commented, picking Ella up from where the cat had trotted over. She scratched gently behind Ella’s ear, the cat meowing softly.
“Are you sure?” Pearl asked, and Emerald nodded.
“I am.”
Steven set his dishes in the sink, washing his hands before walking over to where the others were waiting by the warp.
Emerald watched for a moment, before smiling just a bit more. “I almost forgot.” She said, before moving to hold Ella with one hand.
She walked over to them, before gently setting her hand on Pearl’s shoulder and pulling her in for a gentle kiss.
When she moved away, the two of them were both flushed and smiling. “ Be safe. ” Emerald murmured, before stepping back.
Pearl stood there like a deer in headlights, and it took Amethyst nudging her with her elbow before she moved. She stepped back, giving Emerald a loving smile as the light surrounded them.
. . .
When they arrived Pearl cleared her throat, adjusting her jacket so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge the smug looks coming from her companions. Amethyst looked as though she wanted to say something inappropriate, but decided to refrain.
The four of them went their separate ways, Pearl herself wandering aimlessly and asking around to find Red Quartz.
During the war Red Quartz had been a bit of a recluse, fighting for the crystal gems while keeping a degree of separation from them and refusing to participate in any festivities during those thousand years.
She wondered if the Quartz would have more complicated questions for her, as others had since their return. In a strange way Pearl was thankful, knowing that her friends knew her well enough that most didn’t ask further about her relationship with Rose after learning her old identity.
On that thought, she made a mental note to talk to Hope and ask her how she was doing. She knew how hard it had been for Hope to lose Zircon, remembering how lost she herself had been when Steven was born and Rose was gone.
Eventually Ocean Jasper was able to direct her, and she found Red Quartz working with Bismuth and a few others on the framework for the central building that would stand in the center of Little Homeworld.
Red Quartz was built like any other of her gem type, her skin a rich shade of red with triangular stripes of a deeper shade left behind from her corruption. The light glinted off the gem on her shoulder, a similar pattern.
“ Red Quartz? ” She called, and the gem looked up from where she had been cutting planks of wood. “-Amethyst told me you were looking to speak with me.”
Red Quartz wiped some dirt off her forehead, stretching her arms before crossing them. “…I wanted to talk to you about this idea I had.”
. . .
Emerald’s day had been relatively quiet, even if she felt profoundly tired. She knew that the feeling would leave eventually, but that didn’t make it any less unpleasant.
She had settled down on the couch with a book, soon abandoned in favor of laying back and staring at the ceiling while gently petting Ella, who had settled on her chest.
Something about the experience was rather therapeutic, Elsa’s soft purrs in with the otherwise quiet of the house creating a peaceful environment to relax.
It would be a nice time to sleep, if she still slept at all.
She had thought about it a few times, but the unpleasantness and fear of nightmares far outweighed her want of that rest.
Still, she knew the current quiet was the best she would get, short of Pearl being there with her, and she was content with that for the time being.
. . .
After Pearl talked to Red -she had insisted upon her dropping the Quartz when Pearl spoke to her-, she asked Bismuth about progress before heading back toward the area around the warp.
She knew that Emerald would be alright by herself at home, but that didn’t mean that Pearl didn’t miss her company.
Even so, she knew that she was needed here at the moment, and spent hours speaking to different gems about various minor issues surrounding the construction.
Eventually she was thinking about heading home, feeling as though she wanted to lay down next to Emerald for a few hours.
As she came closer to the warp however, someone caught her shoulder. Pearl paused, turning to see Garnet next to her.
“…You’re heading home.” Garnet said matter-of-factly after a few moments, and Pearl nodded. A smile played the edge of the Garnet’s lips, and Pearl recognized the spark of mischief she had come to know well in her.
“-Well Emerald could use some cheering up, and have an idea.”
. . .
Emerald set another puzzle piece in its proper place, admiring the picture that was forming of a nice sunset.
The irony wasn’t lost on her that this was one of the few ways she could admire the beauty of such a sight nowadays, although she often tried not to mind.
Ella and Cat Steven were laying together in the sun, the two cats stretched out and calm as they took a small nap. Emerald smiled at them, before looking out the window briefly.
She had to do a double take after that, looking back up from where she had returned to her puzzle. She stood up off the couch seeing a sight she was hardly expecting.
Sardonyx was visible down the beach, walking toward the house. She walked along the beach like it was a red carpet, but with a gentless that didn’t match with her usual enthusiasm. She had a soft smile on her face, and the light of the setting sun glinting off her visor as well as the gem shining on her forehead.
Emerald went out onto the balcony, and Sardonyx smiled a bit brighter.
She hadn’t seen the fusion since the first time they met, when Peridot was the biggest threat and Emerald herself was still getting to know the others.
When she reached the house Sardonyx sat down on the path, allowing her to be more level with Emerald on the balcony.
“Sardonyx.” Emerald said, trying to smile despite the weight of exhaustion she hadn’t been able to shake. “This is… a surprise.”
“Don’t smile for my sake, darling.” Sardonyx said, her own smile faltering a bit. “…I know what goes on in that head of yours.”
Emerald glanced away at that, frowning as she couldn’t counter the words.
“Just as lovely as the last time we met, hm?” Sardonyx asked instead, decidedly moving on from the subject. She offered her bottom set of hands openly, becoming gently. “Come here.”
Her open hands reminded Emerald of when she had gone to see Yellow Diamond, the thought making her hesitate. Then she remembered Sardonyx’s gentleness and care the first time they met, taking a deep breath before carefully climbing onto her open hands.
Sardonyx moved to hold Emerald against her chest in a gentle hug, careful not to hold her too tight. Emerald smiled softly, sighing.
Sardonyx’s embrace was Pearl’s safety, and it was Garnet’s security. It was both of them, and her own.
It was… nice .
When Sardonyx moved Emerald back, she reached up with a free hand to gently pluck a bright red flower from the grasses on the side of the hill.
“For you.” She said, offering it to Emerald with a smile.
Emerald carefully took it, looking at the delicate petals for a moment. She smelled it lightly, before tucking it behind her ear and looking up at Sardonyx with a smile of her own.
“… Thank you. ”
Notes:
80K WORDS ON THIS FIC LETS GOOOO
Chapter 82: My Pearl
Summary:
Emerald and Pearl have an important conversation.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Emerald pressed another chaste kiss to Pearl’s lips, smiling as they broke away.
The two of them had decided to spend the evening together, kissing and cuddling and overall enjoying one another’s company while the others had business in Little Homeworld.
Emerald couldn’t help but giggle sweetly when Pearl pressed a kiss to the soft skin off the edge of her jaw, that one particular spot ticklish.
“ Hmmm… ” Emerald made a soft humming sound, leaning on for another kiss. Right before she did however, she murmured quietly, a bit of her warm breath brushing against Pearl’s lips.
“… My Pearl. ”
Pearl made a small choked noise at that, before leaning back as her eyes widened slightly. She glanced away when Emerald looked at her questioningly, hardly wanting to explain her negativity towards that particular phrase.
“ …Pearl ?” Emerald asked hesitantly, worry evident in her voice as she pulled back. “ I’m sorry- “
“ No -!” Pearl interrupted quickly, hardly wanting Emerald to think she had done something wrong when it was hardly her that was the problem. “- no ! It’s really fine… ”
Emerald frowned, leaning back as well. Pearl couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes, looking away instead.
The weighted silence persisted for a few tense moments, before Emerald moved. She settled herself to sit more comfortably, before slowly reaching forward.
Her calloused touch was gentle against Pearl’s cheek, and despite looking away Pearl could feel warmth blooming in the spot.
Emerald was somehow even more gentle than usual, carefully stroking Pearl’s cheek with her thumb as she studied her reaction.
“ …did she used to call you that? ” She asked eventually, and Pearl found herself closing her eyes tightly, as though they would block out the memories that had since turned sour.
And despite everything, Pearl knew she could never lie to her. Not about this.
“ …yes .”
She quickly looked up, her eyes showing her worry and pain from the conflicting feelings surrounding her former love. “-but you didn’t know that.”
“Now I do.”
“I don’t want you to feel bad-“
“It’s alright, Pearl.” Emerald spoke as if stating the obvious, as if there was nothing Pearl could say to change her mind about it. “If it makes you uncomfortable, then I won’t say it. It’s as simple as that.”
“- Alright .” Pearl managed to choke out after a moment, feeling as though she was on the verge of tears. Emerald closed in for a hug, and Pearl held her close.
“… I don’t deserve you. ” She murmured into Emerald’s shoulder, her voice
“ …Why ?” Emerald asked, pulling back while keeping her hands on Pearl’s back.
“ I’m just… ” Pearl trailed off, too ashamed to even finish the statement and verbalize her feelings.
Emerald moved her hand up, gently setting it against Pearl’s cheek. “ …a Pearl? ” She asked, and Pearl ducked her head shamefully.
There was a moment of silence where Emerald gently stroked Pearl’s cheek with her thumb, before speaking softly. Her other hand closed gently in her lap. “ …I’m off-color. I fail to see the point of that. You’re… hardly lower than I am. ”
Pearl looked up at her at that, and despite herself Emerald smiled softly. “… You know I’m right. ” She murmured, and Pearl gained a small smile as well.
“Since when were you smug ?” She asked, setting her own hand over Emerald’s on her cheek. Emerald shrugged lightly, the mood between them turning lighter.
“Maybe I’m finally shaking the nerves off.” Emerald commented, her smile turning more smug. Pearl adjusted to sit up better, moving her free hand to hold Emerald’s hand and lace their fingers together.
“I’m going to kiss that beautiful smirk off your face, then.” She teased, and Emerald’s reaction was instantaneous. Her face flushed, her eyes wide as she looked genuinely surprised.
Pearl chuckled under her breath, feeling her own face flush.
“ Do it. ”
“ What ?” Pearl blinked a few times, feeling her cheeks flush more as Emerald looked into her eyes, looking just as nervous.
“ Kiss me .” Emerald said a bit more confidently, before she looked away embarrassed. “... Please .”
“ Okay .” Pearl murmured, smiles returning to both their faces. The two leaned in, their lips meeting gently. Emerald’s hand on her cheek drifted to the back of her head to play with her hair, and Pearl moved her now free hand to Emerald’s side.
It felt good in a way talk about these things, and to Pearl it once more felt like moving on from the pain that had settled into the consistent background of her life.
This moment
itself
was wonderful, the hurt blooming into love and appreciation for the
now
rather than back then.
Notes:
I got so hyped by 3k hits and the return of my mutual I said FUCK IT! BONUS CHAPTER!
Chapter 83: Seashells
Summary:
Emerald and Pearl go for a walk.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The beach was quiet, save for the gentle rush of the evening waves.
Emerald and Pearl walked along the sand, Obsidian’s statue and the house itself becoming distant behind them.
Emerald held Pearl’s hand, looking down at the small waves flowing around her ankles.
“…Do you ever find seashells?” She asked, remembering the fossils and shells she had read about at one point.
“Sometimes.” Pearl said in return, looking out to the ocean for a moment. “There wasn’t always time to look for them.”
It was then Pearl remembered something, smiling a bit more. “…When Steven was three I watched him while he was playing on the beach.”
She looked back to Emerald, before using her free hand to pull out a seashell from her gem.
“-He gave me this.” She offered it, Emerald gently taking it and looking at the finer details.
“It was the first time he gave me something.”
The shell was shaped like a small fan, cracked on the edge. Emerald looked at it for a moment, before looking at Pearl with humor in her eyes.
“It’s a clamshell.” She said, her nose wrinkling as she seemed to hold back a smile.
Pearl chuckled lightly, knowing what she was referencing. “It is… I’m well aware of the irony.”
Emerald handed the shell back, and Pearl put it back safely in her gem.
“Have you ever found an Earth-Pearl?” Emerald asked and Pearl lightly shook her head.
“No, but I’ve seen Humans wear them as jewelry.”
Emerald nodded in understanding, remembering when Nanefua had explained to her that Earth-gems were not alive.
As the sun went down the world dimmed, and Emerald was able to look out at the horizon. The stars were well visible at that point, although Emerald didn’t know if Pearl could see them with the sun having just finished setting.
The ocean itself was dark and mysterious, but flowed with a gentle calmness that Emerald found relaxing.
“ I don’t know why I avoided the ocean for so long… it’s so beautiful. ” She commented absentmindedly.
“Yeah...” Emerald glanced over at Pearl upon her response, only to see that Pearl was looking at her .
“ Pearl… ” Emerald chuckled, her cheeks flushing at that.
Pearl turned to her, reaching up and tucking a strand of Emerald’s hair behind her ear before gently setting her hand on Emerald’s cheek. “ It’s the truth. ”
Emerald rolled her eyes, lightly putting her hand on top of Pearl’s
“ Can I.. ?” Pearl murmured, and Emerald smiled.
“ You may. ”
Emerald gently threaded her fingers into Pearl’s hair as their lips met, admiring its texture.
Pearl gently pulled away from the kiss, just enough to whisper. “… I wish you would treat your own hair this gently .”
Emerald let go of her pink locks, glancing away as she pulled her hand in close to her chest. “ I know… it’s just a… nervous habit. ”
She sighed, her shoulders sinking. “ …Although I suppose it’s not entirely my fault that I’m always so nervous. ”
When she looked back, she saw Pearl’s wide eyes. Then Pearl suddenly hugged her, firmly yet not too tight. Emerald could feel her shaking, as though she was about to cry.
“… Pearl ?” She asked out of surprise, although she didn’t try to move away.
Pearl’s words were quiet, yet spoken clearly. “… That’s the first time I’ve heard you say it. ”
“ What ?” Emerald asked under her breath, not understanding what she meant.
“… That it wasn’t your fault. ”
At that Emerald tensed, realizing the true gravity of those few simple words. There was a moment of silence where she felt tears prick her eyes, before she hugged Pearl tightly in return.
It wasn’t all my fault .
The words felt revolutionary to even think, and even if she couldn’t let go of the guilt completely, even if she couldn’t completely let go of the idea that she had caused her pain, she knew that in itself, this was healing.
. . .
Bismuth was happy with her new forge, one of the first buildings completely repaired after the stampede. It had everything she needed, and she didn’t mind taking a break from making weapons to help build them all a new home.
She wasn’t working on buildings tonight, though. Instead she stood in the far side of the room, admiring the moon out the window as she organized some small material samples she had been brought.
Little Homeworld itself was quiet, gems taking a break to rest and let the humans get some sleep without the noise of construction not far away from their homes.
She wasn’t expecting to hear footsteps come in that night, nor was she expecting any visitors.
She figured it must’ve been one of the other quartzes, needing her help with something that couldn’t wait.
When she entered the main room however, the gem that stood just inside her doorway caught her off guard.
The gem was large - definitely a quartz, although one she didn’t know -, most of her form covered by a large scrap of canvas draped over her like a cloak.
“Can I help you?” Bismuth asked, dusting off her hands. Sure, his gem was strange, but she wasn’t one to make assumptions.
The gem’s voice was like sandpaper, rough and harsh as her tone sounded like it pained her to partake in normal conversation.
“… I’m looking for a gem. ”
Notes:
I got excited so I finished another chapter and thought why wait to post it? :P
Chapter Text
Steven felt like he was falling asleep over his cereal, jumping awake a few times. He hadn’t slept much the night before, reliving past events in his nightmares.
Amethyst was still in the temple, but the others were out. Pearl and Garnet were doing a puzzle, while Emerald read a book in the corner.
He glanced over to them, seeing as Pearl reached out blindly in Emerald’s direction while her gaze remained focused on the puzzle. Emerald seemed to understand what she was asking for, wordlessly taking her hand.
Steven didn’t think he’d ever get used to them being together, although he found it sweet nonetheless.
Amethyst emerged from the temple, yawning and stretching before going to the fridge and wordlessly shoving a whole orange in her mouth.
“… Morning .” He commented, and she ate another orange before burping lightly.
“ ‘Mornin’ .”
There was a knock at the door, and before Steven could get up amethyst sauntered over. She opened the door, before stepping aside so Connie could come in.
Steven smiled, getting up and setting his dishes in the sink and washing his hands.
“Connie!” Pearl said politely. “What brings the visit?”
“ Weeeell… ” Connie said, before shrugging lightly. “I’m here to talk to Steven.”
“Yeah?” Steven asked as he dried off his hands, before folding the small dish towel and setting it on the table.
“I wanted to invite you and your dad to go camping!”
There was a pause of silence, before Steven spoke again.
“ …camping ?” He asked genuinely, remembering hearing Connie mention it before.
“…You’ve never been camping, have you.” Connie said, and Steven shrugged before she continued.
“Well, we go out into the woods, sleep in a tent, look at the stars, and roast marshmallows!” She said excitedly.
“ I don’t know… ” Steven said hesitantly. “… Little Homeworld might need my help. ”
“Taking a break will be good for you.” Garnet commented from across the room, and upon looking Steven could see Pearl was nodding along.
“Besides, It’s just for the weekend.” Connie said, and Steven sighed.
“…Alright.”
He called up his dad with the invitation, his father sounding extremely excited at taking his son on his first camping trip.
Connie wished him a temporary goodbye so she could go home and pack, before heading off.
Steven went upstairs to pack himself, grabbing his Cheesburger backpack from where it sat on the stairs.
“ Don’t forget your toothbrush! ” He heard Pearl call as he reached the top of the stairs and he smiled.
“ I won’t !”
He grabbed his Hot Dog duffel bag as well, before starting to pack some pajamas from his drawer.
As he rummaged through another drawer for a spare pair of jeans, his hand touched something solid. He pulled it out, seeing a small statue of a gem. He smiled at it, remembering when he went to the sea spire for his first mission. Even though it had only been a year or two since then, it felt like so much longer.
Even if he didn’t look much different from back then, he knew that everything else had changed since then. After all, First-Mission Steven didn’t have nightmares of White Diamond.
He shook his head as if to banish the bad thoughts, looking down at the statue in his hand again. Smirking, he set it in his backpack.
He knew there was no way it would be useful in a camping adventure even if he knew nothing about camping, but he thought it would be funny to bring it anyway.
At the very least, he could joke about it with Connie.
When he went outside, he saw Connie and his dad standing next to Connie’s dad’s car. Connie’s dad himself was by the trunk, stepping aside so Steven could set his bags in.
He waved goodbye to the gems before getting into the car, buckling his seatbelt.
“Your mom isn’t coming?” He asked Connie as they started to drive, the car driving across the sand.
“Well, she has to work extra at the hospital this weekend.” Connie’s father said from the front seat, looking into the rearview mirror.
“Did something happen?” Steven asked, and Connie’s dad was quick to respond.
“Nothing we need to worry about. I think a few of her coworkers are out sick.”
. . .
They could’ve gone camping in the woods outside of beach city, but Connie cited that he needed a break from gem business, something that could only come from distance.
The drive to the campgrounds would take a few hours, so Steven and Connie started playing a game of would you rather while their parents talked in the front.
“Would you rather… Eat a worm? Or, step on one?”
Steven gasped in mock betrayal, although they were both smiling. “You know I hate to hurt small things!”
Connie crossed her arms, a mocking smile on her face. “I know.”
“I choose neither.” Steven said with a joking tone. “I would put him back in the grass.”
“ Noble. ” Connie commented.
The car went over a sudden bump in the road, and there was a shift in the things in the back. Steven heard a small clank against the seat behind him, and when he turned, he saw the handle of Connie’s sword sicking up from where it was in its scabbard.
“You brought your-?”
“ Shhh !” Connie said quickly, cutting him off before turning to adjust the sword to where it was hidden by the seat again. When she finished, she looked embarrassed. Her voice was a whisper, as though she didn’t want the adults in the front to know she had it.
She wouldn’t look Steven in the eye when she spoke, either. “... You can never be too careful. ”
Steven wanted to ask her if something was wrong, before his father turned in the passenger seat. “You alright, kiddos?”
“ Yes !” Connie lied quickly, tensing slightly. “It was… just the tent. ”
She glanced away, and Steven’s dad turned back to his conversation with Mr. Maheshwaren about CDs versus Cassette tapes.
. . .
When they got to the campgrounds, Steven found it didn’t look that much different from the woods outside beach city. Fallen leaves were everywhere, the pine trees the only green left.
It wasn’t the best time of year for camping according to Mr. Maheshwaren, but he said they would make it work.
“I’m glad we get to spend time together.” Connie commented as they reached their campsite. “It’s hard, when I have school.”
His dad tried showing Steven how to pitch the tent while the Maheshwarens grabbed some sticks for a fire, a task that was harder than it looked. Everything was falling, and Mr. Maheshwaren and Connie had to step in and help them.
Mr. Maheshwaren started hammering in plastic stakes to hold up the tent, reaching into the back before coming up empty when he only needed one more.
“That’s odd…” He commented, looking in the bag. “I must’ve missed one.”
The four of them looked at the string for a moment, before Steven remembered something. “Oh! I have something!”
He shuffled through his bag, before picking up the hammer and hammering something into the ground. Then he stepped back, a small grey and blue statue sitting dug into the ground holding up their tent.
The others looked at it for a moment, before Connie remembered a story Steven had once told her. “Is that the..?”
She trailed off, pointing to the small statue.
“Yup!” Steven said with a smile. Connie broke into a laugh, facepalming as she looked at the valuable ancient gem artifact Steven had used as a tent stake.
“Take a picture!” Steven said, handing her his phone. He squatted down next to the statue, giving the camera an overdramatic smile and two thumbs up as Connie continued to laugh.
The adults didn’t see what was so funny, but shrugged it off as the solution did in fact work.
Connie handed Steven back his phone, and as they started to move things into the tent, Steven sent the picture to the gems with the message “ Looks like it came in handy after all! ”
A small error popped up, and upon checking Steven realized that he didn’t have any cell service. He shrugged, setting his phone back in his pocket before going to help.
Connie had hidden her sword inside the empty tent bag, tucking it behind where she set her pillow. Once more Steven wanted to ask her why she was hiding it, but couldn’t in front of their parents.
As the sun was going down they cleared away the leaves to set up a small fire, and they told jokes and stories until it was time to go to sleep.
Sleeping in a tent was strange, but it wasn’t too far off from sleeping in his dad’s van when he was a kid, and it wasn’t too long until he fell asleep.
. . .
Steven stretched when he woke up, enjoying the sounds of the birds around them the same way he would the ocean at home.
He wondered what the gems were up to, figuring they would be continuing to help with work on Little Homeworld. Even if he wished he was there helping, he was glad for the break.
Connie looked profoundly tired when she emerged from their tent, as though she had barely slept. When Steven asked about it however, she brushed it off saying the ground was bumpy and she just hadn’t been comfortable.
They went to the river nearby, a small waterfall going into a pool just large enough to swim in. The four of them swam for hours, before retiring to a warm fire, singing songs and telling stories.
Steven discovered he really liked camping, taking time to relax away from gem business in the woods. They stayed up until he and Connie were yawning every few minutes, and their parents decided it was time for bed.
. . .
Steven woke up in the middle of the night to a rustling noise, and when he sat up he saw through the mesh window that it was still dark outside. He could hear crickets chirping around them, and he looked around.
Mr. Maheshwaren and his dad were asleep still, his own father snoring a bit.
Connie wasn’t there, the tent flap opened slightly. Steven got up slowly, peeking outside.
Connie was sitting on a small boulder by where their fire had been, although it was long extinguished. Her sword was out of its scabbard, sitting next to her with her hand resting over the handle as if she would need to pick it up any moment.
“… Connie ?”
Connie was quick to react, gripping her sword and whipping around to hold it at the ready. When she saw who it was however, she slowly relaxed once more. “ …are you alright? ”
Connie sighed deeply, setting her sword down and slowly taking her hand off of it as if it pained her to let go. She gestured for Steven to sit next to her, sitting back down as well with a sigh.
They sat in silence for a few moments, before she spoke quietly. “ …My parents don’t know about what happened on Homeworld. ”
She continued talking before Steven could say something, sounding exasperated. “How can I tell them what happened? “I can’t just say ‘ Oh yeah mom, it wasn’t that bad, I just watched Steven nearly die ! ’ That might finally be the thing that forbids me from being able to see you or the gems again.”
“…I told the gems what happened with white a while ago. I still haven’t told my dad.” Steven said, and Connie set her head in her hands.
“That’s different. Your dad isn’t the kind of person to ask .” Connie groaned, rubbing her eyes. “-My parents won’t stop asking.”
“ I’m always nervous in school, because what if there’s an emergency and I can’t help? ” SHe continued, somehow looking even more exhausted. “ My mom wanted me to stop bringing my sword everywhere, so I started hiding it. I just… ”
“ ...Feel like danger’s going to appear at any moment? ” Steven said gently, and Connie sighed.
“... Yeah. I… Haven’t been sleeping well. If that wasn’t obvious. ”
…“Me neither. ” Steven admitted.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, looking up at the sky as if remembering everything they’d gone through in the last few years.
“ ...Do you ever think about the fact that we’re just teenagers? ” Connie said eventually, her voice carrying a sadness Steven hadn’t heard from her before. “At this age everyone else is worrying about petty high school drama. We stopped the end of the world. ”
“Well, you did.” She added, and Steven was quick to protest.
“With your help.”
Connie shrugged, before letting out a long yawn. Steven thought for a moment, before turning back to her.
“How about we pretend to sleep?” He said, giving her a small smile.
. . .
Connie smiled gently at him in turn, knowing that Steven was just trying to trick her into sleeping. Even if his plan was glaringly obvious, she still appreciated it.
“ …Alright .”
The two of them stood, but when Connie turned to grab her sword, she froze.
“- Dad !”
Her dad stood next to the opening of the tent, his arms crossed. Connie paled a bit, wondering how much he had heard.
“ …Let’s talk. ” Her father said gently, his arms relaxing to his sides. Steven got up, stepping aside so Connie’s father could sit next to her.
“ You know you can talk to us. ” He spoke gently, and Connie looked down. “ I doubt your mother and I could stop you being friends with Steven if we tried , and after how good this friendship has been for you in the long run, I don’t want to. ”
“…and I’ll speak to your mother about the sword.” He added after a moment, seemingly not wanting to forget. “I don’t think either of us realized why you were carrying it around.”
Connie continued to look away, feeling as though she might start crying at any moment..
“ Connie. Look at me. ” Her father said gently, and after a moment she did. “ …You know we can’t help you if you don’t tell us what’s wrong. ”
“… And no matter what, your mother and I will always love you. ”
At that Connie broke, tears appearing in the corners of her eyes. She hugged her dad tight, feeling the weight of holding in in lifting.
. . .
Steven turned away to give them some space, going back over to the tent.
He looked at his dad, sleeping in the corner. Subconsciously he touched his shirt where his gem lake beneath, sighing deeply as he looked down.
He heard Connie and her dad open up the tent flap, both looking much better than he felt.
Connie’s dad smiled at him, and Steven forced a half hearted smile in return. “ Now… let’s go to sleep. You two need it. ”
. . .
The next morning grey clouds covered the sky, the air itself much cooler than the past few days.
“Looks like it’s going to rain.” Greg commented, looking up at the sky as Doug packed up the tent.
“Just in time for us to go home.” Doug said, handing Steven back his strange garden gnome.
The four of them finished packing up, before hiking their way back to the car.
The break had been good for the most part, but Steven was grateful that he could go home, see the gems, and get back to work.
. . .
By the time they started driving it began to pour heavily, the rain pattering on the roof above them.
Steven and Connie were both tired, mutually deciding to stay in their own space for the drive home. Connie read a book, while Steven checked his phone.
Steven smiled a bit when he heard his dad’s voice on the Sergio, knowing he must’ve brought one of his CDs.
Mr. Maheshwaren pulled onto the main road, and Steven received a few notifications as his cell service returned.
There were a few from Pearl, asking how his camping trip was going on Friday. He figured someone must’ve told her that he most likely didn’t have service, because there were none from Saturday, and she was the kind of gem to check in daily.
Then he noticed he had one from Amethyst.
That in itself was a little weird at first sight, as she didn’t usually text him, and preferred to wait and talk in person about whatever she had to say.
He clicked on it, thinking it must’ve been something to do with Little Homeworld.
He stopped leaning on his other hand as he read the message, his eyes widening. It was short, only a few sentences, but his hands began to tremble.
He read it again, and again, wanting to believe this was some kind of twisted joke, or another nightmare.
But it was real.
He had never dialed a contact faster, and Amethyst picked up on the first ring.
“… Hey dude. ” Amethyst lacked her normally cheerful attitude, and for Steven it sunk in that this was no joke.
“I need you to send Lion to me right now. ” He said shakily, unable to wait the four hour drive to get back to Beach City.
“… She’s still not back yet. ”
“ Amethyst .”
It seemed to be that moment that the others in the car noticed Steven’s distress, his father stopping the music as Connie looked up from her book.
“Woah, Steve-O. IS everything alright?” His father asked, turning in his seat.
Steven looked frightened , pale and far from the calmness he’d carried just moments before. He didn’t respond, or say anything , focused entirely on the call.
Over the line he heard Amethyst call for Lion, before telling him to ‘go to Steven’.
“… He just went through a portal. ” She said after a moment, and Steven was quick to react. “ But Steven- ”
“ STOP THE CAR! ” He shouted frantically after quickly hanging up, and Mr. Maheshwaren was quick to pull over.
“ Steven !” Connie and Greg called as Steven leapt out of the car, the rain soaking into his hair and clothes.
“ Is there something wrong!? ” Connie asked frantically, but Steven didn’t look back.
“ I have to go home! ” He said frantically, genuine fear in his voice. He watched as a glowing pink portal opened a few feet away, Lion leaping out of it before skidding to a stop.
“LION!” Steven called, and the large animal looked toward him.
“ Steven !” Connie called again behind him, before she ran up next to him, sword in hand. “ I’m coming with you! ”
“Is there danger back home!?” Mr Maheshwaren called, and Steven hesitated
“ No- but-! ”
“ We’ll drive! You kids go! ” His dad said, and Mr. Maheshwaren nodded.
“ Steven, what happened !?” Connie shouted above the rain as they climbed onto Lion, and as soon as they were secured he handed her his phone.
Connie inhaled sharply behind him, and Steven held right to Lion’s mane.
“ Take us home! ” He shouted, and Lion took off running. Lion roared loudly, a portal of vibrant pink light opening before them.
Then Lion leapt through.
Notes:
loooooooooong one, huh?
Chapter 85: The Race [Part 1]
Summary:
Emerald and Kiki have a race.
TRIGGER WARNINGS:
-Graphic depictions of violence
-(minor) Blood
-Injuries
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNINGS:
-Graphic depictions of violence
-(minor) Blood
-Injuries
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“And into the
forest I go,
to lose my
mind and
gain my soul.”
-John Muir
. . .
2 Days Earlier
Emerald had never believed that running could be fun . She had been running most of her life, in situations where if you couldn’t escape you were all but shattered.
And yet, there she was.
The leaves scattered around her as she ran, Kiki not far behind. It was the human who had suggested racing the week before, the two of them planning out a route. Hiking had become a regular activity for the two of them, a chance to relax from the stress of life otherwise.
They made a tight turn around a bend, evening out the lead so they were running side by side.
A massive fallen tree stood in their path, fast approaching, but neither stopped. Kiki grabbed a stray branch and climbed over, while Emerald used an arm for balance and vaulted over it. The bark was rough under hand, and she felt full of energy and excitement in a way she hadn’t in a long time.
They continued on, seeing a cliff with a trodden path running around and beside it. Emerald smiled, knowing this was her chance to gain the lead.
Kiki turned to the right, crossing in front of Emerald and causing her to slow down so they wouldn’t collide as she darted toward the path.
However, once Emerald recovered, she headed straight for the cliff.
There was a fallen rock that she knew would assist her, running over it before leaping off. As she crashed into the cliff she held tight, the familiar feeling of rough stone under her palms.
As she climbed, Emerald felt to be back in one of the few good moments they knew down in the kindergartens. She could almost hear Rhodonite instructing her how to grip even the smoothest edges of kindergarten holes, The Rutiles already ahead of them.
It allowed them breaks from moving and running, even if they didn't need them. The robonoids rarely scanned that high, but they never stayed long in one spot out of fear for those moments.
The solution had never worked for fluorite because she was too massive, but often the large pillars hid her well enough.
As she reached the top, Emerald pulled herself up all the way. Kiki was just reaching the top of the path as well, the two of them on more even ground than Emerald had expected.
Emerald kept running with a smile, the breeze itself wonderful as her hair waved behind her. She saw Kiki fast approaching behind her, and Emerald cut close to falling as she turned quickly around a bend once more.
They were in the final stretch, a straight line run toward the tree designated as the end of the race. Emerald was so close, but at the last second Kiki took a chance and leapt forward, nearly crashing face first into the tree before catching herself on it.
Emerald skidded to a stop next to the tree, knowing that she had lost, yet hardly caring. She felt invigorated, full of life in a way she hadn't in a long time.
Kiki leaned against the tree, panting heavily to catch her breath. Emerald’s breaths were far more even, a benefit of not needing oxygen as humans did.
“ I… win! ” Kiki flaunted in between shallow breaths, and Emerald smiled.
“ So close !” She mused, and Kiki let out a breathless chuckle
“I… had… no idea.. you were going to climb the cliff! ”
That spurred a small laugh out of Emerald, well aware that even though Kiki didn’t know that side of her past, she didn’t need to for something so simple. “I’ll be honest, I wanted to win.”
“Wow, competitive much?” Kiki joked, leaning less against the tree as her breaths began to even out.
Emerald shrugged, a playful air about her as she mockingly set her hands on her hips. “I had no idea I had it in me… Amethyst must be rubbing off on me. ”
Kiki looked up into the branches of the tree, a sturdy pine who’s branches were thick with green needles while the other trees had gone bare.
“What do you say we catch the breeze?” She asked, turning to Emerald with a smile.
Emerald smiled in turn, before Kiki jumped up to catch a branch. Emerald did the same, the two of them moving farther up to where there was a nice breeze.
They settled on a branch together, Emerald leaning her side against the trunk while Kiki settled a hand on another branch for balance.
. . .
They sat and talked for a while, the sun slowly moving t across the sky. The world began to darken before their eyes, although it would be a few hours until it became completely dark.
The first few stars were emerging from Emerald’s view, creating an ethereal sight on the orange and blue sky. She didn’t think she would ever get used to seeing them, when the sight was so rare for thousands of years.
. . .
They didn’t know what time it was when they first heard it.
Emerald had been lost in her thoughts, admiring the beauty of the trees reaching for the sky.
There were a small series of sounds, and at first she thought the wind was merely rustling the leaves.
Then it got closer.
Kiki seemed to notice it was well, the two of them exchanging a glance as the sound came closer, the undeniable crunching of leaves under foot.
“ What is that? ” Kiki asked under her breath, squinting to try to see though the smaller branches. Emerald glanced around, before pursing her lips.
“… Someone’s coming. ”
Eventually the noises came closer, the two of them falling completely silent. It was a distinct possibility that someone else was hiking in the same area, but something about the quiet and the heavy footsteps felt… odd .
Then, a figure came into view.
. . .
It was a gem, clear as day. Kiki didn’t think she had seen this one before, but then again, there were so many of them now, and it was hard to see the gem at all this high up.
The gem was orange, she could tell, a shade just lighter than the fallen leaves around her. There was sharp blue clearly visible on her shoulder, and the horns jutting up from her forehead. Kiki thought she saw a bit of red as well, but it was hard to tell.
The gem was looking around, as though she wasn’t passing through by chance. She looked as if she was looking for something . The gem grumbled to herself, something Kiki couldn’t catch as the wing stole her words away.
“ Who ..?” Kiki began to ask, but she was cut off as Emerald pressed a hand over her mouth, suddenly and harshly pulling her back farther into the tree branches.
“ Wh -“ Kiki was muffled as she turned her head enough to see Emerald, confused at what was going on. It was then she saw that Emerald’s eyes were wide and scared , and she could feel Emerald’s hands shaking from where she held firm. Emerald wasn’t looking at her though, her eyes trained on the gem below.
The gem on the forest floor looked up, and Kiki could see Emerald shut her eyes tight, the small light they gave off halting. Emerald almost seemed to shrink down behind her, hiding herself from view.
Kiki could feel her trembling.
Kiki looked back down to the gem, wondering what Emerald knew that she didn’t. The gem looked on, seemingly continuing her search as she walked away from them.
The noise of the gem’s footsteps eventually faded before stopping completely, and Emerald slowly opened her eyes and let go of Kiki.
That same edge of fear hadn’t left her however, and Kiki could see she was shaking still. Emerald moved to the edge of the branch, gripping the bark tightly as she scanned the forest floor below.
“We need to leave.” Was all she said before dropping down an opening, landing perfectly on the ground as though she jumped thirty foot heights every day.
“What? Emerald -“ Kiki said as she climbed down quickly, confused at the situation. When her feet hit the ground she saw Emerald, seemingly lost in thought as a hand tugged im her hair.
“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Kiki asked quickly, concerned at how she was acting when she had been calm just moments before.
Nanefua had told her and Jenny that Emerald could get panic attacks, but Emerald didn’t look like that was happening.
She just looked afraid .
“I can’t- we have to-“ Emerald stammered, but someone else cut her off.
“ YOU .”
. . .
Emerald froze on instinct, her breaths a ragged mess as she trembled. She couldn’t move, looking to the side while Kiki completely turned.
Jasper stood twenty paces to their right, a scowl on her face. Her sharp eyes felt to pierce into Emerald’s form, as hostile and violent as always.
When Emerald had seen her last there were gems crowded around them, and even if she had run after unfusing from Granite, there had still been others around her.
This time there was no one. No gems, and no humans besides Kiki as the brush around them served the opposite purpose.
There was nothing in the forest that could stop the past repeating.
Fear spiked through Emerald’s chest and she finally moved, taking a hesitant step back as her wide eyes stayed trained on Jasper.
“ Listen to me! We need to talk ! ” Jasper called, a familiar ferocity in her voice. Emerald could see Jasper’s hands tighten into fists at her sides as she began to walk toward them, and Emerald knew she had to be lying.
“ Kiki . Run .” She managed to stammer quickly, barely a breath. Her thoughts were coming in a rush, and she felt to have lost all sense of direction accept towards and away from violence.
“ What ?” Kiki asked, still trying to grasp the situation.
“ NOW !”
Emerald grabbed her hand in a grip that was most likely too tight, but she couldn’t care less as they took off in the opposite direction.
Kiki seemed to suddenly grasp what was going on, running of her own accord.
The brush seemed to have gone from friend to foe in the span of a few hours, Emerald’s dress snagging on everything as they ran in a different direction than they had come.
There were no paths in this part of the forest that were clear, and Emerald had to let go of Kiki’s hand to grab the dress so it wouldn’t get stuck.
As soon as she had the fabric in her hands she was running again, but without proper balance a strap of her sandal caught on the edge of a rock.
She was brought to her hands and knees, having to recover quickly as she heard the heavy footsteps increase behind her.
She had barely made it a few footsteps however, when a rough hand grabbed her hair tightly and yanked her back.
Emerald tried to pull away as Jasper grabbed her arm, scared of getting hurt again.
Jasper was only holding her tighter, eventually grabbing Emerald around the torso and throwing her to the side when she wouldn’t stop struggling.
“I SAID LISTEN TO ME !”
Emerald’s side crashed into a tree, the rough bark scraping glowing lines across her skin and tearing her sweater.
“ EMERALD !” Kiki called as the gem slumped to the ground.
Emerald tried to push herself up on shaking arms, panicked and scared and needing to run . Her breath spiked, tears stinging her eyes as her fear swelled.
Not again. Not again. NOT AGAIN. Her mind screamed.
. . .
“ LEAVE US ALONE ! ”
Kiki grabbed a rock the size of her fist, throwing it as hard as she could toward the large gem. The gem caught it in one smooth motion, looking Kiki in the eye as she crushed it with unbidden hostility.
Kiki’s eyes widened, and seeing the fear on Emerald’s face, she could see that they needed help desperately.
It was the worst feeling she had ever felt to know that she had no other option but to leave Emerald in danger, but she couldn’t fight a gem by herself.
Kiki took a few small steps back, before turning and running as fast as she could toward the city of gems.
She kept running despite the burning in her lungs, knowing that this could be a life or death situation if she didn’t find help. She wasn’t paying attention as she ran, scaling fallen trees and bursting through brush as she ran off of pure adrenaline.
She pushed her way through a particularly thick patch, giving no attention to the scrapes the thrones made on her skin, even though she could feel slight trickles of blood coming from them.
However, when she reached the other side, Kiki’s feet were taken out from under her. She knew she was falling, and she held her arms in front of her face so she wouldn’t snap her neck.
When she impacted the ground she heard a violent snap , pain shooting through her arm. She tried to get up, feeling as though she was going to puke as her arm hung in a way that was clearly wrong .
Then her head swam, before everything went black.
Notes:
:3
Chapter 86: The Race [Part 2]
Summary:
Kiki races to get help.
The others race to prevent the worst.
TRIGGER WARNINGS:
-Graphic Depictions of Violence
-Physical Abuse (borderline torture)
-(Minor) Blood
-Injuries
-Near-Death Experiences
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNINGS:
-Graphic Depictions of Violence
-Physical Abuse (borderline torture)
-(Minor) Blood
-Injuries
-Near-Death Experiences
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Kiki’s body ached, her arm sending stinging pain every time she moved.As her vision slowly returned she groaned, pushing herself up regardless of her injuries.
She continued to stumble through the forest, hearing her heart beating in her ears. It was a few minutes later she broke through the edge, the forest transitioning into grassy hills.
“HELP, ANYONE !” She called, holding her arm as she stumbled out of the brush. “ HELP !”
She continued starting to move toward the growing gem city, before a blue gem touched down from the air in front of her.
. . .
Lapis had been taking a short break, flying around and getting an aerial view of Little Homeworld’s progress. When she heard someone shouting, however, she touched down.
The human that had come from the woods had small red gashes on her skin, her right arm looking distinctly wrong .
“Are you okay?” She asked seriously, quickly moving to support the human as she stumbled.
“ I need…help… ” The human said between panting breaths, and Lapis nodded. She managed to awkwardly wrap her arm around the injured human’s waist, before taking off toward little Homeworld.
. . .
“It’s looking even better than before the stampede, huh?” Biggs questioned, and Pearl smiled.
Even if the Stampede had been terrifying and life threatening for everyone involved, they had learned the valuable lesson of strong foundations. Little Homeworld had continued to grow, now sturdier than before.
“…It is.”
Pearl heard heavy footsteps approaching behind her, quickly followed by a concerned voice. “Hey, Pearl…”
Pearl turned to give Bismuth her full attention, knowing that she could take a break for a few minutes. She nodded for her to continue, noting that Bismuth looked a bit worried .
Bismuth frowned, her words serious and unhesitant. “I need to tell you, yesterday I saw…”
She trailed off, her eyes going a bit wider as she glanced around. “Wait… Where’s ‘Em?”
“Oh! She’s out on a hike with Kiki.” Pearl said, giving a small shrug. “If you’re looking for her, she’ll be back later this afternoon.”
“… Shit .”
“ What ?” Pearl blinked a few times, confused as to why Bismuth suddenly looked far more concerned and frantic than she had a moment before. Bismuth opened her mouth to say something, but was promptly interrupted by shouting.
“WE NEED HELP!”
Lapis touched down quickly, and it was then Pearl saw the bleeding human in her arms.
“KIKI!”
Kiki actively tried to stand up on her own, bleeding from multiple small wounds and what looked to be a broken arm. “You don’t understand -!” She said, her eyes wide and afraid as someone helped steady her. “-You have to help her!”
“ What ?” Lapis asked, the same fearful tone as the rest of them felt.
It was then Kiki locked eyes with Pearl, and Pearl could see the tears on her face. “ Emerald ! We were attacked…” she shuddered, clutching her arm. “…by a gem! She crushed a rock with her bare hand, I-!”
“What does she look like?” Lapis asked seriously, and Kiki looked back to her. “Uh- o-orange? Blue horns, red stripes?”
“ Jasper .” Bismuth said under her breath, although Pearl couldn’t tell if it was a reaction, or the ending of her original statement.
Lapis’s eyes went wide, and in less than a moment she had taken off. “EMERALD!”
“Someone take her to the hospital!” Pearl called, before drawing her spear. Then she ran toward the warp pad, hearing multiple gems behind her.
. . .
Emerald shuddered as she pulled out her glaive, using it to stand herself up even as she trembled.
She tried to remember anything Pearl had taught her, but all her mind could pull up was every time Jasper had hurt her, and there was nothing she could do.
Jasper scoffed, as though Emerald held a simple wooden stick rather than an actual weapon. She suddenly darted toward her, and Emerald flinched back. Jasper took the opportunity to grab onto the staff, ripping it out of her hands and kicking her back into the tree.
“Did one of your friends give you this?” Jasper asked, holding it so one of the blades pressed against Emerald’s throat. When Emerald didn’t respond, she moved closer. “...Maybe I’ll shatter you with it.”
“But that would be too easy .” She said, moving the weapon away.
With her bare hands, Jasper bent it until it broke in half. She tossed the broken glaive to either side, before rushing forward and pinning Emerald to the tree by the shoulders before she could move away.
“I told you once and I’ll tell you again… Never run away from me.” Jasper said roughly, grabbing Emerald’s hair to force the gem to look at her. “Your Pearl isn’t here to protect you this time… And you’ve become a problem.”
Jasper threw her to the ground, Emerald’s sweater ripping fully and dissipating into light.
“It wasn’t hard to find you… I just had to ask around.”
Emerald reached desperately for a half of her glaive, only a few feet away. Jasper scoffed, kicking the weapon far out of her reach.
“-This is almost too easy .”
Jasper knelt down, her knee pressing into Emerald's back to hold her still.
Emerald didn’t dare move, clinging desperately to consciousness through the pain. If she were to deform now, she knew that she would never see her friends and family again.
Jasper scratched her nail sharply over a facet of Emerald’s gem, and Emerald winced.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long… But where’s the fun in making things quick?”
Emerald cried out when Jasper grabbed her gem, digging her nails into her skin and tugging it.
As the light around them grew dimmer, the light coming from her eyes became more prominent. Jasper scowled as she began to notice it, as well as the markings of orange and red plaguing her form.
“ Freak .” She said with a cold calmness, roughly grabbing Emerald’s hair with her free hand and yanking it to force the gem to look at her, a position that served to hurt her neck and expose her gem more. “- No one will miss you .”
Suddenly a voice rang through the forest, undeniable in its source. “ EMERALD !”
“ Pearl .” The name was said in barely a whisper, Emerald’s voice choking around sobs and spiking breaths as hot tears spilled down her cheeks, blurring her vision into mixes of orange.
Jasper pulled Emerald to her feet, setting a rough hand over her mouth. “- Shut up, or I'll shatter you right here. ”
Emerald tugged on her arm, and Jasper only tightened her grip to the point it was painful. When she heard someone else call out, Emerald grit her teeth.
Without warning she bit Jasper’s hand as hard as she could, knowing that her sharp teeth would hurt. Jasper cried out as she let go, and Emerald collapsed to the ground.
“ HELP !” Emerald cried as loud as she could, her voice ragged.
“ EMERALD !” They heard again, and Jasper could hear voices and movement in the distance. Emerald tried to push herself up, but felt a shooting pain in her head where Jasper kicked her hard enough that it was hard to see.
“- ANIMAL !”
It was hard to think straight, the pain overwhelming as tears dripped down her cheeks.
“You’re going to regret that.” Jasper said roughly, before slamming her heel into Emerald’s gem.
Emerald cried out as she felt the cracking to the deepest level of her form, Jasper smiling above her. She felt to be holding on by a thread, her form glitching with instability.
Emerald heard Pearl call out again as Jasper grabbed her by the hair, pulling her up and setting a rough hand over her mouth.
“ Quiet .” She commanded again, digging her nails sharply into Emerald’s skin so she couldn’t pull the same trick twice.
Everything became quiet and distant, and a fresh wave of tears spilled from Emerald’s eyes as she started to believe they wouldn’t find her.
Then, in a gust of air and leaves, someone touched down from high speed in the clearing.
. . .
“JASPER!” Lapis shouted, knowing it would alert the others, who had spread out. “GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!”
“This isn’t any of your business .” Jasper snapped back, holding Emerald tighter. Lapis filled with rage upon seeing them, glowing marks covering Emerald’s form to an extent she had never seen before.
Pearl came running out of the brush, followed by Biggs, Bismuth, and a few others. Amethyst and Garnet were nowhere to be seen, though they had been with them.
“It became our business the moment you followed them into the woods.” Lapis retorted, turning her hand over to gather what dew she could from the plants around them.
“But you wouldn’t attack me.” Jasper said, smiling even while the violent look in her eyes remained. “-Not when I have your broken pet .”
She quickly moved her hand in Emerald’s hair to her gem, picking it between her fingers and causing a resounding crack to echo and emphasize her point.
Emerald flinched, clearly shaking but muffled by Jasper’s hand.
Lapis froze at the sound, suddenly afraid .
In all the times she had witnessed Jasper torture Emerald, she had never cracked her before.
“Take another step, and I shatter it.” Jasper threatened. Emerald weakly pulled at Jasper’s arm, the panic clear on her face even as she couldn’t do anything.
There was a tense moment of stalemate, no one moving.
. . .
Pearl’s eyes momentarily flicked to the side, but Jasper didn’t seem to notice as Pearl gripped her spear tighter.
Then they struck.
Garnet appeared behind Jasper, grabbing her arms and ripping them away from Emerald. Amethyst, perched in the tree to the side, used her whips to grab Jasper’s arms and pull her back.
Pearl heard the further cracking of Emerald’s gem as she collapsed, her form clearly glitching.
Jasper fought against the whips, trying to get at Emerald. Pearl jumped in front of her, and Jasper had to move back before she was stabbed. Then Jasper pulled Amethyst out of the tree, and the others went in to join the fight.
Pearl had never been one to turn her back on an enemy, but she didn’t hesitate in throwing her spear to the side, where it disappeared in light.
“ Pearl -“
“I’m right here.” Pearl said quickly, trying to be as gentle as possible. Her hands shook as she tried to help Emerald, who collapsed into her chest the moment Pearl managed to help her sit up even slightly.
“-Let me see.”
Emerald was shaking violently, and Pearl tried not to make it worse as she moved Emerald’s hair to see her gem. The noise of fighting continued behind her, but she trusted the others enough to focus solely on Emerald.
Pearl couldn’t contain her gasp when she saw Emerald’s gem, laced with cracks and only getting worse by the second.
“ Please- it hurts- I can’t- ” Emerald’s voice cut into her chest as she spoke between ragged sobs, and Pearl knew the pain must be overwhelming with her damaged gem and form the way it was. “ I can’t go back- “
The cracks had spread from her gem, cracking Emerald’s very form. “ Please ” she begged, her voice cracking as it only became worse. Pearl knew that without Steven, who had left the day prior, they had no way to fix the problem easily.
Emerald’s form was incredibly unstable, glitching as though at any moment it would destabilize completely. The cracks on her gem were dangerously close to exactly what they both feared, and even if Pearl knew that she could be brought back from shattering, she knew how painful it had been for Emerald to go through it.
She couldn’t let it happen again.
So, as Emerald’s gem cracked closer to the brink of shattering, Pearl made her decision.
“ Please .” Emerald begged, and Pearl held her close, pressing a gentle kiss to her head.
“ I’ve got you. ” She murmured as she summoned her spear once more.
. . .
Everyone’s attention on the battlefield was instantly drawn to the cloud of smoke.
The look on Pearl’s face as she stood and put Emerald’s thoroughly cracked gem inside her own was the thing to make everyone pause completely. To those who knew her as rebels and after it was borderline terrifying , knowing that when Pearl became this angry there was little that could stop her.
There were tears in the corners of her furious eyes, and her teeth were grit with an anger that said that things had just turned personal .
Jasper must’ve felt the air as well, because in the moment of silence that had taken over she pushed Bismuth away and took off into the forest. Peat immediately ran after her, before being pulled back by the shoulder.
When she looked back Garnet tightened her grip, shaking her head.
“Let go of me!” Pearl protested, shaking with anger as she tried to wrench Garnet’s hand away, “She-!”
Garnet held firm, shaking her head. Garnet refused words in that moment as if they were painful, but Pearl could see tears flowing from her eyes as well.
There were a few moments of complete silence, the two of them staring at each other as the tense air remained.
Then it clicked for Pearl in what Garnet was trying to tell her.
She wouldn’t catch Jasper.
And even if she did, it wouldn’t be a good ending.
At that Pearl crumbled on the inside, her anger giving way to an intense sense of failure and sadness. She began to tremble as tears flowed and Garnet held her close, knowing they were all going to need a moment to recover before going to get Emerald help.
Lapis quickly swiped the heel of her hand over the corner of her eye, hiding the movement well. Amethyst crossed her arms, and Biggs clenched her fists. Bismuth looked just as frustrated as the rest of them, tears brimming her eyes as well.
Even though they all knew they had prevented the worst from happening, they knew that this was no victory. All of them felt a sense of shame and failure, as though they had broken an important promise.
And to them, it was because they had.
Notes:
I finished this chapter while there were no less than 6 extreme weather warning in my area.
The curse is real.
Chapter 87: Monsters
Summary:
Lapis wants revenge.
TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR:
-Violence
-Self-Hatred
Notes:
TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR:
-Violence
-Self-Hatred
Chapter Text
By the time word reached Peridot of what was going on, the others had arrived back in little Homeworld. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were absent, but Lapis and Bismuth were there.
Lapis looked numb, her eyes distant and her arms crossed. Bismuth looked hardly better, walking off as soon as they had warped back into Little Homeworld.
Peridot could hear the distant hammering of swords out of the forge, her cue that it hadn’t gone well, as she’d been learning that Bismuth only went off to make swords by herself when she was upset.
“Lapis!” Peridot called, pushing her way through the crowd to get to her. Lapis looked up, hurt visible in her eyes. “What Happened!? Someone said Jasper-!”
“ Jasper found Emerald and one of the humans in the woods. ” Lapis whispered, and Peridot jumped a little. “When we got there she had her, and threatened to shatter her…”
“... And all I could do was watch. ” She added, and Peridot reached gently for her, before hesitating. “I was just standing there… useless… until everyone else found a way.”
“ It wasn’t your fault. ” She said, but Lapis didn’t seem to be listening. Her eyes darted back and forth, the gears of her mind seemingly turning.
“... I can’t let this happen again .”
“...I’m going to get rid of her.” She said firmly, and when she looked up, Peridot could see the anger in her eyes.
“ Lapis -!”
“I'M GOING TO SHATTER HER FOR THIS!” Lapis shouted, her wings summoned less than a moment later.
“Lapis, no !” Peridot called as she launched into the air, before realizing she wasn’t going to listen at all . At that she held out her hand, not caring who her trash can lid hit as it flew toward her the fastest she could make it.
. . .
When Lapis touched down in the forest she shouted, channeling all her anger into her words. “ JASPER ! GET OUT HERE AND FACE ME! ”
Her only answer was the rustling in the leaves, and Lapis only clenched her fists tighter.
“ YOU COWARD ! ”
“Lapis! You Can’t -!”
When Lapis turned she saw Peridot jumping off of her trash can lid behind her, the metal disk floating still.
Then she saw the gem behind her.
“ PERIDOT !” Lapis gathered dew from the surrounding plants in record time, seeing the plants around her shrivel into nothing as she grabbed onto Jasper from where she had leapt towards Peridot.
She pulled Jasper back into the forest, giving Peridot enough time to recover. Peridot held her lid at the ready in case she had to escape or throw it, but Lapis had the situation under control.
She barely had to move her arm as she pinned Jasper to a tree trunk by the throat, full of anger . She knew that shattering Jasper would be easy like this, and she and Emerald could finally have peace.
“ I can see we’re both still the same monsters . ” Jasper growled, and Lapis froze.
She remembered countless times she held Jasper at her mercy, trapped inside a fusion in the deepest trenches of Earth’s ocean. She had fought her, she had wanted to hurt her, and in the end Lapis knew she had wanted to inflict upon Jasper the same pain Jasper had forced her to watch.
In the end, she still wanted to hurt her as bad as she hurt Emerald. She could now , if she wanted to.
But she already had … and that had made them the same type of monster.
She had tried so hard to change after that.
Jasper dared to smile at her own words, and at the clear fear in Lapis’s eyes. She had said the one thing that could make Lapis pause in taking out her revenge, and she knew it.
“ Do it. ” She teased, as though she knew that Lapis still hadn’t let go of the guilt that she’d destroyed entire planets.
Maybe she did.
After all, they had shared a mind, for a time.
If Peridot said anything else, Lapis didn’t hear. She loosened her grip, although not enough for Jasper to run away, or take off again.
“If I see you again… If I even hear that you went anywhere near her.” She growled, leaving no room for argument, or any denial that she wasn’t completely serious. “I will .”
“You’re weak .” Jasper retorted, another bait into something Lapis knew she wouldn’t come back from.
“I’m stronger than you .” She said instead.
“ You need someone like me, to compare and tell yourself you’re good . ”
At that Lapis paused, a heavy silence taking over before she responded.
“... maybe .”
“Let’s go home.” Peridot said, the first thing Lapis heard from her as a green hand touched her arm. She set her hand over it, suddenly feeling as though she was about to burst into tears as the world around her crumbled into nothing.
“. ...Even if I don’t shatter you. ” She murmured, hardly trying to raise her voice enough so Jasper could hear. “ ...I think we all deserve a break from you. ”
She tightened her hand quickly, looking away as a cloud of smoke blew leaves in every direction.
Then the two of them began to walk home, leaving Jasper’s gem behind while simultaneously carrying the weight of every memory.
Chapter 88: Steven
Summary:
Pearl fixes Emerald’s gem.
Steven returns home.
Pearl calls Greg.
Notes:
Welcome to Shifty’s anniversary weekend! Today (3/21) is the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of my posting of fanfiction!
Every day this weekend (including Monday 3/24) I’ll post a chapter of The Trail to Self-Acceptance, as well as something extra! ;)
Y’all area big part of my motivation, and I wanted to celebrate this occasion with something fun!
Chapter Text
Rose’s fountain was nestled in a rocky valley, the air warm considering the mountains all around. It was a place designed to be secret, one even Homeworld couldn’t know about.
No one else was there, although Pearl knew that sometimes others would come when they didn’t want to bother Steven with minor injuries. She had come to visit it alone, Garnet and Amethyst granting her some space after what happened the day prior.
“I sent Steven a message.” Amethyst had told her, and Pearl raised her brow. “...just now. I told him ‘Em was attacked by Jasper, she’s in her gem, and that he shouldn’t freak out.”
“There aren’t many futures where he stays calm.” Garnet had added, the three of them sharing an uneasy look.
In the hours that followed Steven still hadn’t responded, and they didn’t have much clue how he would when he arrived back home that afternoon.
Pearl had waited to make sure that there were no more surprise visits in store when he arrived, Garnet confirming that her trip to the fountain would be safe, and that no matter what path the future took Steven would be home soon.
Emerald’s gem was cradled in her hands, something that had Pearl on the verge of tears in and of itself. She could feel every crack on its surface, careful to not induce more.
She tried to push away the thought of how close they had come to losing Emerald for good, simultaneously knowing that she would never forget the look of fear on Emerald’s face when Jasper attacked her gem directly.
She shook her head to banish the memory, sitting down on the stone rim of the fountain. She held Emerald’s gem under the pink-tinted water, watching as it filled the cracks and fused them to erasure.
When she pulled it out Emerald was whole, and Pearl once more felt tears in her eyes. She lifted her hand, gently touching the surface of Emerald’s gem to her own as if to confirm for herself.
“ ...I’m sorry. ” She whispered, a tear of her own dripping into the pool. It was hard not to blame herself, even though she knew that none of them could have seen this coming.
Not even Garnet had.
She didn’t dare entertain the thought of bringing Emerald back any sooner than she chose to come back herself, knowing that every moment Emerald took was one she needed.
Pearl took a few more minutes to compose herself, before heading home. When she arrived Garnet and Amethyst were waiting, the three of them deciding to sit together for a while.
Cat Steven had made herself scarce, but Ella was intent on sitting in Pearl’s lap. The cat repeatedly nuzzled Pearl’s hand where she held Emerald’s gem, but Pearl could only pet her with her free hand and assure her that Emerald would be back soon.
. . .
It had been a few hours when Amethyst’s phone began ringing, and she pulled it out of her pocket. She sat up a bit straighter when she saw the ID, answering immediately.
“Hey dude.”
The others looked toward her, but Amethyst wasn’t focused on them. “…She’s not back yet.”
Then Amethyst sighed, before walking over to the door. She looked across the beach, before spotting the creature she was looking for.
“ LION !” She called, and the pink mammal raised his head. “ Go to Steven! ”
She watched as Lion stretched himself out, before picking up in a run toward the ocean. As soon as she saw a flash of pink and lion’s disappearance, she sighed again. “He just went through a portal. But Steven -“
The Amethyst stopped, lowering the phone and looking back at them. “-He hung up on me. I… think he’s freaking out.”
. . .
It was barely a few minutes later when a glowing portal opened up in the house, and Lion leaped out of it before skidding to a stop.
“I’m here!” Steven said, practically leaping off Lion. Both he and Connie were soaked, and when Lion shook his mane, water sprayed everywhere.
“Steven, you need to calm down.” Garnet said from where stood by the stairs, Cat Steven in hand.
“Calm down !?” Steven countered, droplets flying when he opened his arms suddenly. “You can’t just send me a message saying don’t freak out about this!”
“We have her now, dude. That’s what matters.” Amethyst added, getting up from the couch and pointing out Emerald’s gem in Pearl’s hand.
Steven turned on her, and Amethyst could see just how upset he was. “ How did Jasper even-!?” He started, before Amethyst snapped .
“We don’t KNOW !”
Her breaths were shaking in the silence that took over after that, before Amethyst heard a small skittering and felt Cat Steven rubbing against her leg.
Connie stood by the couch, having not said a word since their sudden arrival, although she held her sword tightly. Garnet set a hand on Steven’s shoulder, but Amethyst beat her to speaking.
“ All we know is that she left to hike with Kiki, and less than a few hours later Lapis was bringing Kiki to us, hurt and telling us Emerald was being attacked. ” She murmured, looking down as she crossed her arms.
“… Bismuth thinks Jasper was looking for her, asking around to gems who didn’t know what she’s done. ” Pearl added, her first words since their arrival.
Steven could hear how tired she was.
“ I thought… Era three… ” he said quietly before Amethyst sighed, gently reaching to pick up Cat Steven and hold her close.
“- Us too. ”
Connie didn’t seem to have much to add, quietly sitting next to Pearl. Pearl set her free hand on the girl’s arm, wordlessly coaxing her to let go of her sword, which she still held in a death grip.
Eventually she did, Connie’s sword clattering on the floor as it fully sunk in that she could let go, and there was no danger.
“ …Thank you. ” Connie murmured, but Pearl didn’t respond.
. . .
Pearl and Amethyst stayed with Steven while Garnet took Connie home to her mom, sitting by his bedside while he laid down, even if he didn’t have to go to sleep for hours.
Eventually Pearl took her leave, going downstairs to call Greg and explain the situation. She took a deep breath before pulling up the number, settling down to sit against the wooden wall facing the temple as it began to ring.
When Greg picked up Pearl could hear the sound of the car, assuming they were on their way. “-Hey, Pearl. Is something going on? ”
“ No… Well, not anymore. ” She said quietly, looking at the gem in her other hand. “I called because Steven and Connie came back on Lion, and Connie told us the two of you were still driving. I thought I should explain the situation. ”
“ Alright. I’m just going to put you off speakerphone since this is probably gem business. ” Greg said, and she heard some shuffling. “Alright.” He said after a moment, and Pearl took a deep breath.
“ …Emerald was attacked and nearly shattered. ” She said, hearing silence on the other end.
“ Oh, that’s… How long ago? ” Greg asked, and she could hear the falter in his voice.
“Two days.”
“ Jeez…Did anyone else get hurt? ”
“No.”
“ Good .”
“... How are you doing? ” He asked after a few moments, and Pearl sighed once more, speaking almost absentmindedly.
“ …I don’t know. We almost didn’t get there in time. ”
“- But you did, and I’m sure she’ll be back soon. ” Greg countered. “ -....I can… bring over a puzzle when we get back if it helps to pass time. ”
“I’ll be alright. ” Pearl said, although she frowned slightly. It was certainly nice of him, but trying to forget what had happened wasn’t something she wanted to try.
“ If you’re sure. ” Greg said, before she heard something faint on the line that must’ve been Doug. “ Alright, I gotta go. Buh-bye. ” Greg said, before hanging up.
“… bye. ” Pearl said quietly after a moment. She sighed, setting her phone away in her gem once more.
She looked down at Emerald’s gem in her hand, before holding it lightly against her chest.
Now all they could do was wait.
Chapter 89: Soon
Summary:
Steven comes home early.
Notes:
Shifty's anniversary weekend day 2! Enjoy, guys!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Steven had a strangely easy time focusing on work, finding himself slipping into a pattern of dedication and helping that pushed his limits. He stayed out longer, worked harder, and overall threw himself into helping with Little Homeworld if it meant that he wouldn’t have to go home for a few more hours.
Walking into the house brought an air of sadness, something Steven knew came from the solemn quiet and unwanted anticipation of Emerald’s return.
He knew how bad it was for something like this to happen, remembering the earlier days when Emerald would jump at the creak of a floorboard and keep her distance to the point where she wouldn’t interact with them directly.
He had watched as those things slowly went away, even if the problem didn’t.
It worried him that they had no way of knowing how much this would set her back, or if she would even feel safe at all when they couldn’t stop the attack before it started.
He decided to go home early despite the feeling, knowing that since Garnet and Amethyst didn’t like to hang around either and apearl was usually in the temple he would most likely have the house to himself.
“What’re you guys all doing at home?” He asked, setting his bag next to the door.
Garnet was the one to respond, her gaze trained on the gem on the table. “The most likely time for Emerald to return is soon.”
“ Oh .” Steven was quiet, simultaneously wondering and knowing why he hadn’t been previously informed.
The four of them stood in silence for a few moments, before Garnet sighed. “ …I was wrong. She needs more time. ”
“ I just wanted us to be here… just in case… ” she said absentmindedly, and Steven looked at her before looking back at Emerald’s gem.
“ Is she going to be okay when she gets out? ” He asked, and despite his youth, Garnet couldn’t lie to him.
“
No
.”
Notes:
Sorry for such a short chapter!
Chapter 90: Numb
Summary:
Emerald is strangely quiet.
Notes:
Welcome to Shifty’s anniversary weekend day 3! Enjoy!
Chapter Text
Everyone else had left, leaving Pearl to the quiet of the house. Garnet had offered to stay with her, but Pearl had assured she would be alright.
She continued waiting, trying to distract herself with puzzles and books. The activities quickly turned sour however, attached to peaceful memories that seemed far in the past despite being only a few weeks old.
Her attention was constantly drawn back to Emersld’s gem, cold and lonely. Pearl sighed more times than she could count, finding herself replaying the few moments before Emerald had left, when she had given Pearl a kiss and a smile paired with the promise of being home soon.
Pearl wished she had asked her to stay, even if in that moment there was no way for them to know what would happen.
. . .
Pearl had still been contemplating when the warp pad activated, Garnet running into the living room without warning before stopping just as quickly.
“Garnet!” Pearl exclaimed, standing up quickly at her sudden arrival. “Is something wrong in Little Homeworld?”
“ No .”
Before Pearl could ask why she had rushed home if there wasn’t a problem, she felt Emerald’s gem warming in her hand. When she opened her hand to look at it she could see it glowing softly, and it dawned on her exactly why Garnet had rushed home.
They watched as Emerald’s gem listed into the air, the light growing. Emerald’s form cycled through near countless regenerations, something Pearl had never thought to consider before.
Then it settled on one, and in a flash of light, she was there.
. . .
Emerald’s footing was unsure when she reformed, hardly prepared for a return to the waking world.
Someone caught her by the arms when she stumbled back, holding her gently while still supporting her so she didn’t fall.
When Emerald looked back she saw Garnet’s soft eyes, her visor gone. She could see the subtle worry in them, suddenly feeling far more self-conscious.
She lightly shrugged out of Garnet’s grip, stepping to the side.
Pearl was there as well, and Emerald looked into her eyes briefly before looking away when she saw that same hurt.
Quiet settled between the three of them, none knowing what to say after everything that happened.
No words seemed to be right to breach the solemn air, the three of them standing in silence filled with their emotions. Emerald hugged herself tightly, closing herself off in a silent way that told the others she didn’t want to be touched.
Her appearance had completely changed, the dress gone and replaced by near-black pants. Her sweater was the same shade of rich navy blue, this time the stars smaller. Her sandals had become navy blue flats, smooth edges all around.
She held her sleeves tightly where she hugged herself, her knuckles turning a lighter shade of green and betraying the instability that lay under the surface.
She was the one to break the silence, taking a breath that shook every moment. When she spoke she sounded empty, the smallest hint of sadness being the only emotion as she stared at the floor.
“ ...I know it’s not my place. ” She said hesitantly, as though it was hard to even ask. “ But… can I go in the temple? ”
“ I… I’m scared. ” She added on quietly, staring at the floor without seeing. Garnet and Pearl exchanged a worried glance, before Pearl spoke gently.
“ …of course you can. ”
. . .
Pearl had seen numerous times where Emerald had broken down due to what Jasper had done to her, but this time was different.
Emerald was eerily quiet, staring at the ceiling aimlessly. Her breaths were shallow, not panicking yet not present.
It seemed as though she was thoroughly lost in her own mind, a feeling Pearl knew well yet hated to see in her love.
. . .
Emerald wanted to break into a thousand pieces. She wanted to shout, scream, and cry in anger and sadness at everything that was wrong with the universe and the beings that lived in it for a long time.
But all she felt was numb.
All she could do was lie still, barely breathing as it felt like her chest weighed a thousand pounds.
It felt like an endless cycle, the brief moments of safety Earth had always brought, always ending in more pain.
She felt thoroughly visible and seen , vulnerable and exposed even inside of the closed off temple.
She wanted to sink; to let the cushion below envelop her until she didn't have to feel like this anymore.
She wanted to crease to exist, if it meant that she would stop getting hurt.
Emerald got disconnected from her own body, barely feeling as Pearl took her hand in her own. Pearl rubbed the back of her hand with her thumb soothingly, murmuring quietly.
“… I’m sorry. ”
Emerald felt even more like sinking in that moment, wondering how in the stars Pearl came to the conclusion that she had done anything wrong.
If Pearl and the others hadn’t arrived, Emerald knew that she would have never seen them again. She had a half-baked thought about telling Pearl, before Pearl spoke once more.
“…. It’s not your fault. ”
At that Emerald felt like imploding, but remained unable to move.
Yes it is.
She wanted to have someone she could point at and transfer the blame, but for the life of her, she couldn’t find anyone to blame but herself.
Even if she wasn’t to blame for the past, in this situation she had left herself exposed, allowing Jasper to find her.
Running away was the only thing she had ever been able to do in her life, but she had let herself get caught once more.
Chapter 91: Terrified
Summary:
Emerald is having a hard time.
Notes:
Welcome to the last day of Shifty’s anniversary weekend! Enjoy!
Chapter Text
Emerald didn’t know how much time had passed, only that she hadn’t moved in hours. Pearl’s hand was gentle where it held her own, the two of them quiet.
She had never been one for hypotheticals, yet she couldn’t stop wondering about all the ways things could have gone differently.
If they had gone home earlier, if she could run faster, if she had never left home in the first place, she couldn’t help but think that maybe none of it would have happened.
The rush of water was the only sound, soothing in its monotony. Emerald craved rest, but didn’t dare sleep despite the calm environment.
When the noise was broken though by footsteps, Emerald froze. She found herself unable to move yet wanting to run as her breaths quickened, holding Pearl’s hand tightly.
Pearl pushed herself to sit up, before squeezing Emerald's hand gently.“ …It’s Garnet. ” She murmured, gently rubbing her thumb over the back of Emerald’s hand.
Emerald sat up slowly with Pearl’s help, coming to lean against Pearl’s shoulder as they watched Garnet turn around the bend and walk up to them.
. . .
When Garnet reached them she sat down on the rim of the shell, hesitating before reaching up to dissipate her visor.
“ Steven’s worried about you. ” She murmured quietly, and Emerald could see the softness in her eyes that told her Steven wasn’t the only one.
Garnet glanced away before continuing, sounding as unsure of herself as she could when being a mostly monotone gem. “ …You can’t stay in the temple forever. ”
“... I know. ” Emerald murmured quietly, her first words since returning. She held onto Pearl’s arm, looking down as she spoke. “ I… don’t want to be alone anymore. ”
. . .
Emerald held Pearl’s arm as they walked toward the temple exit, Garnet and Pearl wanting to encourage her to st the very least sit in the house instead of the temple.
With every step they came closer to the door Emerald's nerves felt to return, suddenly afraid of something so simple.
“I- I can't.” She stammered, involuntarily freezing in place just a few steps away.
From the way her very form was betraying her, someone might assume Jasper was on the other side of the door.
“Emerald, you’re going to panic-” Garnet started, but was promptly interrupted.
“I KNOW THAT!” Emerald snapped, a flash of anger, before the emotions became too overwhelming for her to handle.
“ Sorry- sorry- I’m sorry- “ She stammered, but it didn’t seem to help. Seemingly out of nowhere tears stung Emerald’s eyes, her breaths turning to gasps as the numbness was replaced by everything .
Her legs didn’t seem to be able to hold her up anymore, Emerald collapsing to her knees. She curled into herself, hands pulling her hair as the pain in her chest became painfully tangible.
She felt to be crumbling, breaking down into grains of sand to be swept away by the wind. She felt like she was cracking into shards, despite knowing her gem was whole.
She hated feeling so helpless, and hated herself for thinking she could fight back and protect herself when she couldn’t .
She didn’t want to be afraid anymore, but found herself more terrified than ever.
Chapter 92: Cracking
Summary:
Pearl makes a startling discovery.
Chapter Text
Emerald buried her face in Pearl’s shoulder, wanting to hide after breaking down so horrifically. Her breaths had slowly evened out, although the weight in her chest felt unbearably present.
It seemed like as soon as she was calm Garnet was gone, most likely off to let Steven and Amethyst know she needed more time.
Pearl was gentle as she held Emerald close, the two occupying a soothing silence beside the rush of water.
. . .
Pearl did her best to be careful, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of Emerald’s head. Emerald relaxed further into her embrace, sighing deeply.
Pearl moved her hand, gently brushing Emerald's hair to her far shoulder while being careful not to grab any by accident.
However, when Emerald's hair shifted, Pearl couldn’t contain her gasp.
. . .
Emerald looked up quickly, startled by the sound.
“… Pearl ?” She asked, seeing pure shock on Pearl’s face. Pearl’s eyes were wide with a kind of horror , her hand frozen as she quickly moved it away from Emerald's skin.
“ Pearl , what’s wrong? ” She emphasized, but Pearl didn’t respond. “... You’re scaring me. ”
At that Pearl softened, although the fear didn’t leave her eyes as she pulled her hand into her chest.
“There’s… cracks .” Pearl said, barely a whisper as she sounded afraid .
“ What ?”
“Not… not on your gem .”
Emerald could feel as Pearl gently reached forward once more to touch Emerald’s back to the right of her gem, suddenly aware of the small gaps in her form she could feel there.
It hit her all at once, as to why she hadn’t felt whole since reforming, and why she had felt to be cracking.
There were a long few beats of silence where the realization sunk in, before Emerald spoke.
“I don’t… feel it.” She said hesitantly, as though she wasn’t sure. Her hands grabbed the end of her sweater, looking down and away as she hunched her shoulders.
“ What ?” Pearl asked under her breath, and Emerald revised her statement.
“I can’t… feel them. Well, I feel them, but… it doesn’t hurt .”
Emerald didn’t protest as Pearl hesitantly returned her hand to the spot, running her fingers lightly over them.
She knew there was no one who would treat her gentler.
“ What are we going to say? ” Pearl asked, and Emerald’s shoulders slowly sank.
“ …Nothing ?” She asked hesitantly, hardly wanting to talk more about what happened with everyone.
“ You want to hide them? ” Pearl asked, a bit of hesitance in her otherwise serious tone.
Emerald rubbed her arm, struggling to look Pearl in the eye. “Yes, but… I’m not asking you to keep secrets for me. ”
“ Not after… ” She trailed off, and Pearl understood what she meant. Without hesitation she wrapped Emerald in a gentle hug, firm enough to prove her point yet light enough that Emerald could easily refuse if she wished.
“ Trust me when I say this couldn’t be any more different. ” She murmured, and Emerald set her hands gently on Pearl’s back.
“... okay .”
Chapter Text
When Emerald did emerge from the temple after another week, she was tired.
Steven was there, looking worried. “ I’m alright, Steven. ” She claimed, the first lie.
It was clear Steven could tell she wasn’t being truthful, and Emerald was thankful he didn’t push the issue and ask her more about it.
Instead she sat down on the couch, leaning against Pearl’s shoulder as she tried once more to feel safe in her own home.
. . .
It was on the walk to Little Homeworld Steven broke his silence, speaking slowly. “ …Emerald’s not okay. ”
Garnet continues to walk silently, while amethyst looked over. “Would you be?”
Steven thought for a moment, although he already knew the answer.
“ No .”
Notes:
Hear ye hear ye! Please don’t come to guillotine me French Revolution style, as this chapter was INTENTIONALY short!
The next one will be longer, I just wanted to do some quick writing to distract myself from the audition I have tomorrow.
ALSO, WHAT THE HELL, IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!? *de neh neh nehhhhhhhhh*
Chapter 94: Visitors
Summary:
Bismuth talks to Lapis and Peridot
Emerald has a few visitors
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The Day of the Attack
Bismuth lost herself in the forge when she got back.
With each clang of her shapeshifted hammer on metal she recalled a flash of memory, only feeling more sick each time. In response she increased the force, only driving the memories deeper.
She didn’t look up for a while, barely registering the pass of time until someone came in. She looked up, wiping the sweat off her brow and shifting her hands back to normal.
Peridot had arrived, Lapis in tow. Lapis’s form still looked scuffed, a quiet sign of the fight. Bismuth scowled, resisting the urge to return to pounding her frustrations out onto metal.
“… Bis ?” Peridot asked in a small voice after a few moments, and Bismuth responded harshly.
“ What! ?”
“ …what are you doing? ” Peridot asked hesitantly, and Bismuth sighed.
“I found this .” She reached down, before slamming down the broken halves of a glaive on her anvil with a force that spoke of anger . “-And I’m making sure I do better .”
“ Bismuth -“ Lapis started, but Bismuth was quick to interrupt.
“ Don’t tell me I didn’t contribute to this.” She snapped, and it didn’t take much for them to realize it wasn’t just Jasper she was mad at. “You know damn well I’m a weaponsmith.”
She gestured to the swords hanging around the room, before slamming her fist back down on her anvil next to the broken pieces. “If I don’t make good weapons, people die .”
“-and that’s what nearly happened today.” She continued, setting the broken glaive back down against the anvil’s side. “And now I’m trying to get my edge back so I never have to see something like that again.”
. . .
Present
Garnet had told them before leaving that there was a good chance Lapis was going to come by, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if she did show up.
When they heard the telltale thump of Lapis touching down on the balcony, Emerald looked up from the book she had been reading. She sighed deeply, before reaching to set it down on the coffee table with her free hand.
Pearl squeezed her hand gently, before standing up to answer as they heard Lapis knock on the door.
Lapis was quiet when she stepped in, seemingly unsure of what to say. She stood for a moment, holding her arms and looking at the floor.
Emerald didn’t miss the hesitant glance she had towards Pearl, as though she wasn’t sure she should say anything when she was there.
Pearl seemed to pick up on it as well, nodding to herself before walking over. “ Will you be alright if I go into the temple for a few minutes? ” She asked quietly, wanting to give them the privacy to talk about it.
Emerald nodded, and when Pearl was gone Lapis finally sat down slowly. She set her head in her hands, quiet for a few more moments before finally speaking.
“I came so close to shattering her… I wanted to. ” She said, a hint of frustration in her voice. Then she sighed, her shoulder sinking. “… Then she said that we were both the same monsters as before. ”
Lapis didn’t need to explain she couldn’t do it in the end; Emerald knew what words like that meant to her.
“ …She really knows how to get into our heads, huh. ” Lapis added dryly, feeling selfish for talking about her issues while simultaneously knowing Emerald was the only one who would understand.
Emerald sighed, leaning her head back against the couch cushion. “… yeah .”
They had spent long enough in cages for Jasper to learn exactly what to say to doubt themselves; to make them feel degraded and trapped by their shared past in a way that made them easy targets.
It was a shared weight, one they knew might never leave them alone.
. . .
It wasn’t a day later that Bismuth came by, more solemn than Emerald had ever seen her. She wouldn’t look Emerald in the eye, her gaze trained on the wooden deck below.
Upon answering the door Emerald gained a tight feeling in her chest, seeing the weapon Bismuth carried close to her chest.
“ I brought you this. ”
Bismuth held the glaive out to her, and after a bit of hesitance Emerald slowly took it. The staff was firm in her hand as well as a bit heavier, clearly designed to be sturdier than before.
“ I… I’m sorry it broke. ”
Bismuth’s tone carried a weight that Emerald hadn’t heard from her before, hoping she wasn’t right in assuming it was guilt .
She wanted to ask how Bismuth knew it was broken, before remembering how viciously Jasper had torn her glaive in half, and realizing that that was the reason Bismuth felt guilty.
“… Thank you. ” Was all she said despite it all, knowing by now that if Bismuth wasn’t going to bring it up, she wasn’t going to push either.
She stepped back, opening the door in a wordless invitation before turning to sit back down with her tea.
Garnet was home, but didn’t say anything when Bismuth came in. She leaned casually on the dividing wall, her body language telling the both of them she wasn’t planning on joining in the conversation.
When Emerald put the glaive in her gem she felt strangely comforted, even if she hadn’t been able to protect herself with one before.
She took a small sip of her tea as Bismuth shut the door, admiring the taste of raspberry on her tongue while being unable to actually consume anything without shapeshifting.
“ I’m sorry, ‘Em. ” Bismuth said, her voice sounding more raw than before. It was at this point she looked up, meeting Emerald’s eyes with a look that spoke of a sharp kind of sadness. “ I saw her the night before, I knew she was looking for you, and I didn’t think to warn you until morning. ”
“ …I messed up real bad. ” She said after a moment, and Emerald softened.
Bismuth walked up to her, setting something else on the counter. “ I made this too, if you want it… Just in case. ”
When Emerald picked it up she saw the handle, unsheathing a dagger that fit nicely in the palm of her hand. It was flatter than ones she’d seen others use, feeling the balance in it as she held it. She looked up with confusion, wondering why Bismuth would make it. “I can’t store-“
“That’s what this is for.” Bismuth said, holding up the sheath so Emerald could see the straps around it. “It can hook on your ankle, So that if anyone surprises you, you got a backup plan.”
Emerald stared at it for a moment, looking back to the dagger in her hand. “ Thank you. ” She repeated, feeling tears stung her eyes as the words carried far more weight this time.
. . .
Emerald didn’t know how she found it surprising that Nanefua came to visit eventually a few days later, knowing that the elder never seemed to shy away from checking in on her.
The two of them talked for a while, Nanefua ending up being the only one besides Pearl and herself who knew about the cracks around her gem. Emerald knew she had to tell someone , if not the others. Regardless, Nanefua seemed to understand.
. . .
Over the years Emerald had come to know some footsteps well, enough to feel a sense of dread when she heard two particular sets on the stairs one day.
She sighed, leaning back against the couch and clutching her sweater closer. She had raised the back of it to cover her gem and the cracks that lay around it, but there was still a worry they would see right through her.
“… Emerald ?” Rhodonite called as she and the twins reached the top of the stairs, and Emerald did her best to ignore the sinking feeling in her chest. Still she forced herself to get up, feeling profoundly tired as she forced a small smile and opened the door.
“ Hey, guys. ”
“We’re all here.” One of the Rutiles said plainly, and looking past them, Emerald could see Fluorite sitting on the path, Padparadscha sitting on her head. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a brief moment.
She hesitated for a few moments in the doorway, trying to convince herself that stepping outside wouldn’t kill her. Still, that didn’t stop the trembling and the spike of fear she felt upon being surrounded by open air once more.
Amethyst stayed inside the house as Emerald quickly sat down on the chair near the corner, attempting to hide her anxiety.
Emerald didn’t need to be Garnet to know why they were there, as no doubt half of Little Homeworld knew by now what Jasper had done. She was quiet as the five of them looked at her, as if waiting for an explanation.
Overwhelmed by the open air around her and the feelings of vulnerability it brought Emerald eventually set her head in her hands, wishing she could shrink into nothing.
Then she felt a gentle hand on her arm, before arms wrapped around her. The twins did as well, Padparadscha hopping off Fluorite’s head to join them. Fluorite reached carefully, her large hand gently touching Emerald’s back.
She felt enclosed, yet not trapped; surrounded by her family of seven thousand years.
It was only then Emerald cried.
. . .
The most surprising visit was the one that took the longest, as Emerald had been sitting with Pearl when they heard a knock at the door. When Pearl answered however, Emerald stood up quickly.
Kiki was standing in the doorway, clearly injured . Her arm was in a cast, and there looked to be freshly healed scars visible on her face. Emerald felt stuck to the floor, her hand clutching her sweater tight as a sickening weight settled in her chest.
Kiki thinked Pearl as she shut the door behind her, before giving Emerald a small smile.
“ Did she..? ” Emerald managed to ask after a few moments, her voice shaking. Emerald didn’t remember Jasper hurting Kiki, but she had hardly been coherent at the time.
Had Kiki gotten hurt trying to help her? What if after she had thrown her Jasper had done something? What if-
“No.” Kiki said plainly, cutting through Emerald’s thoughts, before using her free hand to scratch behind her neck as she glanced away. “I uh… r an off a cliff. ”
Emerald finally managed to move, feeling tears sting her eyes as she hugged Kiki. She held her tight while being careful of her arm, unable to help thinking how scary the entire situation was.
“ I’m so sorry you were there with me. ” She apologized, knowing that if she hadn’t agreed to go hiking Jasper wouldn’t have come for her, and Kiki wouldn’t be hurt.
“ Nanefua told me this isn’t the first time she’s hurt you. ” Kik said quietly, and When Emerald tensed, she continued. “- She didn’t tell me anything other than that .”
Emerald pulled back to wipe her tears away, grateful though the guilt.
“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Kiki said, and Pearl suddenly spoke from behind her.
“-Thanks to you.”
Emerald gave her a questioning glance at that, and Pearl continued. “-Kiki told us where you were and what was happening.”
Emerald had to wipe away a fresh bout of tears at that, knowing that if Kiki hadn’t risked herself she might have been shattered by the time the others realized she was missing.
“Do you want me to call Steven?” Pearl asked Kiki, giving Emerald the moment she needed to compose herself. “He could heal that for you.”
“He offered a few weeks ago.” Kiki said in return, a smile returning to her face. “-But I’d rather let it heal naturally.”
. . .
Pearl set a gentle hand on Emerald’s back, a calming presence as Emerald wiped away the last of her tears after Kiki had left. “ Are you alright? ” She murmured, and despite herself, Emerald couldn’t help but smile.
She didn’t quite know how to explain how thankful she was that everyone cared, even if she didn’t always understand why. The past few weeks had shown her that she didn’t have to be alone, even if she was still hurting.
“ ...Thank you. ”
Notes:
Happy April!
Chapter 95: Lies
Summary:
Emerald goes outside.
Chapter Text
The wind was blowing cold by the time Emerald felt ready to try going outside again, minus small trips of standing on the balcony.
She had Pearl’s arm in a vice grip, but Pearl was hardly going to protest. She knew how scared Emerald had been to leave the temple, let alone go outside.
“ Just tell me if you want to go home. ” Pearl murmured, and Emerald held her arm tighter as she nodded. They walked slowly, Pearl leading while trying not to go anywhere Emerald would feel trapped.
Little Homeworld was its normal level of calm and busy, yet every one of Emerald’s senses were on high alert. She felt watched and followed , as though any moment Jasper would appear from thin air just to hurt her again.
She wanted so badly to stop feeling like the smallest steps were dangerous, her only hope that the feeling would leave being that it had before.
Until then, she kept a careful watch of her surroundings and held tight to Pearl’s arm.
. . .
It wasn’t long before they came upon the frame of the central building, a group of various gems working on the frame. Emerald spotted Biggs helping to lift some lumber, looking up and wiping the sweat from her brow after a few moments.
Then Biggs turned her head and seemed to notice them , and Emerald didn’t need to see her eyes under her bangs to see that she was nervous. She signaled to the worker next to her that she was going to take a break, before making her way down the short scaffolding.
Pearl stopped as she approached them, and Biggs dusted her hands off.
“ Hey, ‘Em. ” Emerald smiled, although her heart softened at the emotion Biggs wasn’t hiding too well. “Glad to see you out and about. Sorry I didn’t come see ‘ya, I just…”
She crossed her arms, shrugging as though her next words didn’t hurt to say. “ I figured you wouldn’t want to see another big strong quartz such as myself so soon after it happened. Especially an orange Beta. ”
Emerald’s heart sank. The smile wiped off her face in an instant, a pinching feeling coming to rest in her chest.
“ No… it’s okay. ”
Though it felt like releasing a lifeline, Emerald forced herself to slowly let go of Pearl’s arm.
It felt like Biggs was doing her best to be gentle when Emerald gave her a hug, though something about it still made her afraid; then upset for being afraid of her friend.
“…You’re shaking.” Biggs said plainly, a hint of sadness in her voice that she tried to hide.
“ I’ve been shaking all day. ” The words stung Emerald to say, a pinching feeling in her chest. There was certainly a degree of truth to the statement, as she had been shaking all day, but it hadn’t been this uncontrollable.
“ If you say so. ” Biggs said as she let go, seemingly forcing a smile despite clearly seeing through the lie. “I s’pose I’ll see you later.”
Emerald felt a weight in her chest as Biggs stepped back, something she couldn’t verbalize before her friend trodded away.
She watched as Biggs walked away, her shoulders sinking before she looked down at the ground below. She felt as Pearl gently touched her hand, before sliding to hold her arm once more.
“ I… I think I want to go home. ” Emerald felt moments away from crying, as though any moment something else would happen and she wouldn’t be able to stop it from happening.
“ Of course. ” Pearl said, and Emerald tried to hold herself together as they walked home.
. . .
As soon as they walked in the door Emerald felt profoundly tired, as though all the exhaustion she had been stuffing down came up in full force. She let go of Pearl’s arm, sitting down on the couch.
Ella and Cat Steven looked up from their various lounge spots, the former of which hopping off the counter and trotting over. Emerald spared a hand to gently scratch behind her ears. Pearl followed, sitting down quietly next to her.
Suddenly and strangely Emerald felt a laugh bubble up from somewhere within her, something dry and painful and moments away from crying instead. Pearl looked at her with clear worry, and Emerald paused in petting Ella to hide her face in her hands.
“ I’m such a liar. ” She said dryly, moving a hand to lightly tug her hair. When Pearl didn’t say anything in return, Emerald continued.
“ I lied to Steven , I lied to Biggs , I’m lying to myself every time I think I can just forget and move on… ”
“ How pathetic is that? ” She asked rhetorically. Pearl seemed to hesitate in reaching out for her, before a gentle hand wrapped around her own from where she still held her hair tightly.
Pearl rubbed her thumb gently across Emerald’s knuckles, slowly coaxing her to let go of her hair. Eventually Emerald’s grip loosened, and Pearl laced their fingers together.
“ I’m sorry. ” Emerald murmured brokenly, although she wasn’t entirely sure what she was apologizing for besides hurting.
Pearl moved her free hand to graze Emerald’s chin with the tips of her fingers, gentle in both touch and tone. “ …It’s okay. ” She murmured after a long moment, knowing that simply telling Emerald she didn’t have to apologize wouldn’t fix the need to.
She wiped a tear away as soon as she saw it, emphasizing her words as Emerald leaned into her shoulder. “It’s okay .”
“… I don’t know what to do anymore. ” Emerald whispered in between stuttering breaths, unable to help the tears that stung her eyes.
It was a kind of twisted irony to her, implying that she had ever known what to do besides give in.
Chapter 96: Tea
Summary:
Amethyst talks to Pearl.
Pearl relays to Emerald.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The house was quiet, Steven and Amethyst taking the day off while Garnet continued to work.
Pearl had stepped out of the temple for a few minutes, wanting to make some tea while Emerald waited in the temple for her.
She had left the door open so Emerald wouldn’t feel trapped inside, making sure she knew that she would only be gone for a few minutes, and was only a short call away.
It was Pearl’s first time leaving her alone since her return, something that she had made sure was okay first. Emerald had nodded, saying that it was okay.
The cats were nowhere to be found, although Pearl made sure to leave out some food for them since it had been a sufficient amount of time since Garnet had that morning.
Tea was something Pearl had never guessed she would enjoy, along with many other human things.
By now the crackling of the stove was just another sound ingrained in her memory, and despite the short amount of time compared to her wider existence Pearl wondered how she had even gone without such simple routines.
As the water heated up she allowed herself a moment to breathe; a moment to exist in her own small world.
She didn’t know what had her in the particular mood for reminiscing, only that every turn reminded her of things.
She remembered when Steven had moved in, and she sat by his bedside to make sure he felt comfortable during his first night.
She remembered when Garnet had nearly made her knock over a lamp, so excited at meeting Smokey Quartz that Sardonyx couldn’t help making an appearance.
She remembered when Amethyst had reformed after spending all day fighting and reforming in the temple with Garnet and Steven, and she looked on the verge of tears when Pearl told her her form looked perfect.
Pearl was snapped out of her thoughts by the sharp whistle of the kettle, signaling that the water had come to a proper boil. She turned off the stove, careful as she poured the hot water into a couple of mugs.
She watched as they turned dull shades of color, a light smell mixing into the steam. Lavender for herself, and Raspberry for Emerald.
Neither of them liked to drink much, but a few sips here and there was nice, and Pearl had found over the years that a warm cup in your hands could be therapeutic.
She was just about to pick them up when she heard the door open, turning to see Amethyst sauntering into the house. She looked profoundly tired , something Pearl didn’t often see in her.
“ Hey, P? ” She called, her voice barely above a grumble. Thinking something must’ve upset her Pearl gestured to the kitchen stools, and Amethyst begrudgingly hopped up.
Pearl set the teabags on a small plate for her, but Amethyst looked uninterested as she crossed her arms and shook her head. Pearl was confused at the prospect of Amethyst denying food for a moment, before shrugging and turning around to set them in the trash.
“ We found her. ” Amethyst grumbled behind her. And Pearl froze. She stood silent for a few moments with her back turned, processing the words.
It had been over a month since Jasper had attacked Emerald and Kiki in the woods, and no one had seen Jasper since.
“ What ?” She finally asked, turning her head without fully turning. “ You mean-? ”
“- Jasper ?” Amethyst interrupted, still grumbling as she tossed a few strands of her hair behind her shoulder. “ Yeah . She didn’t see us , but now we know where she is.”
At Pearl’s questioning glance she continued, knowing Pearl would want that information. “-She’s living out in the woods where it happened.”
Amethyst could hear Pearl’s deep breath, a forceful sound she had heard a thousand times before. What she wasn’t expecting was Pearl’s response, void of all emotion and strangely calm .
“… I’ll tell the humans not to hike and camp there anymore. ”
“You don’t wanna go after her?” Amethyst asked arrogantly, her words forceful through her own frustration at the situation.
“Of course I do.” Pearl countered, and Amethyst heard a bit of anger slip into her words past the careful mask.
“ She -” Pearl felt her hand tighten on the counter, the anger and frustration she still harbored coming to the surface. She forced herself to take a deep breath and stop before she broke something, her hand relaxing once more. “…We can’t give her another reason to look for revenge.”
Amethyst looked skeptical, but Pearl didn’t give her a chance to counter. “She thought far enough ahead to find her alone the first time, and I won’t be responsible for giving her a reason to do so again.”
In that moment Pearl couldn’t help but remember coming home from their first mission after Emerald was shattered, the four of them dead silent as they all clearly thought the same thing.
It didn’t feel right to come home and see her spot on the windowsill empty.
. . .
Pearl knew better than to keep the information from Emerald, even while worried about her reaction. Amethyst had gone off into her own room, and when Pearl came back into the temple with their tea, Emerald sat up.
She looked about to say something before pausing, her smile slowly melting off.
“… What’s wrong? ” She asked as Pearl handed her her tea, using her free hand to pull a small tray out of her gem to set her own on.
She sighed, because of course Emerald could see how tired and worried she felt. She looked down at her tea, wishing its calm could fix something like this.
. . .
Emerald was quiet as she explained what Amethyst had found, leaning against Pearl’s shoulder as her eyes slowly became more tired. Her own tea had been set next to Pearl’s, going cold while they talked.
Even when Pearl finished she was quiet, her hand coming to rest on Pearl’s chest. Then she sighed, holding Pearl a bit closer.
“ …Is it… horrible of me to wish she was still gone? ” She looked down and away, her words hesitant and small.
“I just… I can’t do this anymore.” She added, moving her hand to cover her face. “I can’t live like this.”
Pearl reached to touch her back gently, and Emerald burrowed further into her shoulder. “… I know. ”
She could see Emerald’s hand shaking, and she gently placed her own over it so she could move it away from Emerald’s face.
She could see the cracks edging up from Emerald’s neck, and every orange marking around her eyes and neck.
“ I’m sorry we let this happen. ” She murmured, running her thumb down Emerald's spine. “ I don’t know if it will mean anything to you for me to say this. ”
She minutely tightened her grip on Emerald’s hand, speaking with clarity and force. “- But never again. ”
She saw Emerald’s eyes flick up to meet her own, a sharp green in a sea of black. “If I see her anywhere near you again, I will shatter her. I will never let her hurt you again.”
Emerald didn’t respond, but she held Pearl’s hand tighter. She curled up against Pearl’s chest, reminding herself that
this
was her safe place.
Notes:
Not me freaking out that there's only 4 MORE CHAPTERS AFTER THIS AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
IT'S TOO SOON
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Chapter Text
The first thing Steven noticed when he woke up was that it was colder than usual, and he found himself feeling trapped inside his warm covers. He blinked a few times, looking at the ceiling for a moment before turning his head.
He threw off the covers upon seeing the blanket of snow outside, suddenly full of energy as he floated back to the ground.
He knew that snow meant teaching the uncorrupted gems how to shovel, but at the same time he couldn't help but feel childish joy at the prospect of snowball fights and making snow people with Connie.
. . .
Garnet had brought out Steven’s snow gear during the night, knowing he was going to need it for the following day.
She had been waiting for him to wake up, wanting to make sure he knew that they needed his help before he went off to play. The others were in the temple as well, and Garnet had the hope that none of the uncorrupted gems would try using the warp pad when it was covered with snow.
She knew Steven was going to come rushing down the stairs a few moments before he did, a childish smile on his face.
“Garnet! It’s snowing!” He called excitedly as he reached the ground floor, and Garnet felt reminded that even if he faced down White Diamond herself, he was still just a teenager.
. . .
Emerald smiled, gently running her hands through Pearl’s hair while she slept. It was clear that Pearl hadn’t meant to fall asleep the night before, only that at some point Emerald had caught a glimpse of one of her holograms that signified dreaming.
She had done her best to cover Pearl’s gem with the edge of the blanket, knowing firsthand what it was like to want to keep the happenings of your dreams secret.
She didn’t know what time it was that she saw the glow fade, a few moments later seeing Pearl’s eyes blink open.
“ …Good morning .” She murmured, running her thumb over Pearl’s cheek as she looked up at her. “- I’d assume. There aren’t any windows in here. ”
Pearl smiled at that, moving her hand up to gently take Emerald’s. She pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her hand, before leaning back against her chest.
“ …good morning. ”
. . .
The two of them had managed to get up eventually, Pearl wanting to make sure that Steven ate breakfast before going outside all day. They walked arm in arm out of the temple, seeing that both Steven and Garnet were already awake.
“Guys, look !” Steven said, gesturing toward the window. Pearl smiled at the snow, liking the look of the white covered beach.
Emerald suddenly flinched back with a small yelp, letting go of Pearl’s arm and nearly tripping over herself before Garnet appeared and caught her arm to steady her. Emerald pressed a hand over her face, squeezing her eyes tightly shut.
Everyone looked at her after that, seeing her looking profoundly uncomfortable. “ Since when was the sun on the ground… ?” She asked absentmindedly, blinking a few times as Garnet helped her stand back up.
At that the others glanced toward the window again, realizing that while the snow did look brighter from reflecting the sun, Emerald was probably seeing it a lot worse.
“ Here .”
Emerald felt as Garnet set something on her face, and when she hesitantly opened her eyes, she found herself looking through tinted shades. She blinked a few more times, looking up to see Garnet’s eyes; all three had a bit of mischievous humor in them.
“It's… better .” She said hesitantly, able to look towards the outside without feeling like the light wanted to personally attack her eyes.
“I can teach you how to make your own sometime.” Garnet commented as she let go, and Emerald could see Pearl smiling. “-But I can go a few days without it.”
. . .
It wasn’t a few minutes later that Amethyst came out of the temple, snickering upon seeing Emerald's new attire. “You look like Garnet .” She teased, and Garnet set a gentle hand on Emerald’s shoulder.
“ I think it looks great.” The fusion added, and Amethyst rolled her eyes dramatically.
“Of course you would.”
. . .
The four of them had gone to Little Homeworld with as many snow shovels as they could, starting to show and help the uncorrupted gems with shoveling through the area.
Emerald had been helping to clear the area around Bismuth’s forge, thankful for the chance to help out with something small.
It wasn’t long before she ran into biggs, the gem giving a small eye dip before snorting jokingly.
“You look like Garnet .” She teased, and Emerald couldn’t help but laugh.
“-Believe me or not, I’ve been getting that all day.”
. . .
They helped shovel for hours, clearing paths in Little Homeworld as well as uncovering the snow-covered dondai. Greg had come into the house for the worst of the cold, settled down on part of the couch.
By the time they came home Steven’s cheeks and nose were bright red, and he too had been wrapped in blankets by Pearl where he sat by the fire. Pearl made cocoa in the kitchen while talking to Amethyst, and Garnet sat next to Steven with the cats in her lap.
“I’m still cold.” Steven commented, although Emerald didn’t hear. She sat on the other couch, lost in one of her favorite collections of winter’s tales.
The particular myth she was reading was a tale humans made to explain why they would kiss under mistletoe, a simple premise she hadn’t expected murder to be involved in.
“... Emerald ?”
The gem glanced up, seeing that Steven had appeared in front of her. Despite his age when it came to human standards, Emerald couldn’t help but find the way he stood wrapped up in his blanket with a smile youthful .
“... Can I hug you? Pearl says you're warm. ” He said, and Emerald couldn’t help glancing up at that. Pearl seemed to be pointedly looking away, a playful smirk on her face. After a moment Emerald shrugged, figuring a hug wouldn’t be that bad.
“... Sure .”
Steven hopped up onto the couch, snuggling into his blanket and hugging Emerald by the side while she moved read with one hand.
As Emerald read on, she came to the decision she didn’t like the trickster character. She wondered why they would decide to cause harm to someone else, only for the fun of it.
She looked up once more when Pearl sat on her other side, looking to read over her shoulder. When they met eyes Pearl glanced away, a small smile on her face and a bit of flush on her cheeks.
“ I’m cold, too. ” She said quietly after a moment. Emerald knew well that gems couldn’t get and stay cold the same way as humans, but she wasn’t going to be the one to say it.
She smiled as she rolled her eyes overdramatically, tossing her book onto the table with a small thump before opening her other arm.
When Pearl’s head came to rest against her shoulder Emerald raised her hand, setting it gently on Pearl’s far cheek to pull her in and set a gentle kiss on the nearer one.
Pearl smiled, leaning into her shoulder a bit more.
Steven moved onto her lap so that garnet could take his spot, and Amethyst climbed into Garnet’s lap so she could lean her head against her as well.
Greg watched from a distance, sipping his cocoa with a smile.
Emerald sighed, slowly closing her eyes as she felt surrounded by pure love .
Notes:
Apologies for the quality drop, I faced some writer’s block with this one, but decided to push through it instead of procrastinating until the last minute. So, early chapter!
Also: AGHHHHHHHH WHY ARE WE SO CLOSE I KNOW ITS MY FAULT BUT WHYYYYY
Chapter 98: The Hospital
Summary:
Priyanka wants to talk to the gems.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It was strange that they could see Little Homeworld from a distance now, the frame of the largest building becoming visible above the hills as time went on. The spring grass was lush and vibrant, so clearly alive in a way that was so very Earth that Emerald couldn’t help but smile.
Emerald watched it out the window as the hills rolled by around them, quiet in her own small world as they drove. Amethyst sat on the other side, focused intently on a small handheld game Greg had given her from his old storage.
Pearl was focused on driving the car, and Garnet was noticeably quiet beside her in a way that told them she was focusing on the future and most likely wouldn’t respond until they arrived.
“-Aw, man !” Amethyst said suddenly, frowning as she looked at the Game Over plastered on her screen. Momentarily distracted she looked up, setting the game in the seat back pocket.
“Hey P, what did Connie’s mom want again?” She asked, peeking over the back of Garnet’s seat.
“I told you, Amethyst, she wants to talk to us about gems and what we are now that there’s so many coming to stay on Earth.” Pearl said, glancing back once before focusing back on the road.
Before they had left Emerald had offered to come with, Garnet momentarily pulling her aside to warn that she would receive more questions due to her corruption.
Emerald had shrugged, figuring that it would be a given regardless, reassuring that since Priyanka had been polite to her in the past, she would be able to handle it.
. . .
When they pulled up Emerald studied the building, something that contrasted the much smaller houses of Beach city. To some degree the interior seemed welcoming, yet carried a bit of strangeness that she couldn’t shake.
She wasn’t used to the odd looks some humans gave them, although she supposed they did look odd. To counter the slight nerve she took Pearl’s hand, reminding herself that strange didn’t always mean dangerous .
Still, there was something about the place that had her on edge, a feeling that she couldn’t shake. She held onto Pearl’s hand a little tighter as they sat to wait, taking deep breaths.
At some point she glanced to the side, seeing a human child sitting with an adult not far away from them. The child had a cast on their arm, and they were looking right back at her.
She gave them a small smile, and the child gave her a look of innocent wonder. She couldn’t help but smile more at that, figuring they weren’t used to seeing gems in person outside of the Beach City area.
. . .
They were called back by another woman, the four of them sitting down again in a smaller room this time. Priyanka came in not long after that, looking down at the clipboard in her hands.
The woman’s eyes widened upon seeing her, before she quickly seemed to correct herself and put her determined expression back on.
Priyanka kept glancing up at her, and Emerald began to feel self-conscious.
“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it.” She said, looking back to her clipboard. Emerald spoke on the assumption Priyanka was trying to be polite about the difference in her appearance, speaking gently.
“Ah… yes. I've been…
gone…
for a while.”
“...Connie told me.” Priyanka said in turn, still not looking back.
“About what?”
“Your… death , and eventual return.” She said the word awkwardly, as though she wasn’t exactly sure how that worked outside of human concept.
. . .
Priyanka brought some thing , shaped strangely in a way Emerald didn’t understand. She walked over to Garnet, who held her hand palm up.
“May I?” Priyanka asked, gesturing her intent.
Garnet nodded, opening her hand so the doctor could set something against Ruby’s gem. “-Go right ahead.”
Emerald tensed slightly, looking away for a moment. “I’ll… I’ll pass on this one.” When Priyanka looked up she shrugged, not making eye contact. “I don’t like… things touching my gem.”
It felt too personal to say people; to say any more about the terrifying memories of herself and others touching her gem that haunted the edges of her mind.
Priyanka looked at her for a moment, before shrugging it off.
. . .
Priyanka flipped through the scans, something she called ‘x-rays ’ that they just had to stand still behind a screen for.
“Hmmm. All I can see are your gems.” She commented and apearl smiled.
“We are made of light.”
“And Garnet had… two?” Priyanka added, and Amethyst shrugged,
“Fusion.” She said simply, and Priyanka looked up at that. Clearly fusion was something else Connie had mentioned, although it was clear she hadn’t known she’d met one besides Stevonnie and Alexandrite.
“Wait. You’re a fusion?” She asked, and Garnet nodded. “Is there any chance I can get readings on your components as well, to see if there’s anything different about fusions?”
Garnet seemed on the fence about that, until Pearl looked over at her. “If it makes the three of you feel better, if it’s alright with Emerald she can take readings from granite as well.”
“I’m alright with that.” Emerald added, and Garnet made a grumbling sound.
“… Fine .”
Emerald and Pearl laced their fingers together, pulling each other close as Emerald's forehead came to rest against Pearl’s glowing gem.
At the same time a glowing light surrounded both them and Garnet, with Emerald and Pearl’s gems coming to rest on a larger being, while Garnet’s separated into two smaller ones.
“ Hello .” The new fusion greeted, all pleasantries.
“Let’s be quick.” One of the smaller gems -a red one- said, crossing her arms.
. . .
Priyanka showed them the result, comparing the fusions side by side on screen with their components. Pearl made a face at all the food visible in Amethyst’s scan, to which Amethyst shrugged.
It was then Priyanka stopped on her own, studying the scan of Emerald’s gem with intent.
“Hmm… The only difference I can see is from Emerald’s.”
Emerald felt a small prickle up her spine, but understood as soon as Priyanka moved and she could see that there were a few spots where part of her gem was brighter on the scan.
“You see, the denser something is, the lighter it appears.” Priyanka explained, pointing to one of the spots. “So, the corrupted parts of your gem must be denser , somehow.”
“You said that your bodies are made of light that originates from your gems, correct?” She asked, and the four of them nodded.
“-Well, at the most basic level of it, being corrupted must’ve changed part of the composition in your gem, changing its color and causing it to affect your appearance as well.”
Emerald tilted her head at it, feeling intrigued by the fact that she had an explanation. “That… makes some sense.”
. . .
It wasn’t much more after that before Priyanka told them they could leave, and it was clear that the four of them were well and ready to go home. Garnet pushed open the door, although just before they left Emerald heard Priyanka behind her.
“…Emerald?”
Emerald looked back, seeing Priyanka’s firm frown. “-May I speak with you for a moment?”
Emerald glanced back at the others, who seemed just as confused, before she stepped back inside the room.
“ Yeah, ok. ”
. . .
Priyanka gestured for her to sit, pulling over her own wheeled stool. Her face turned serious, and she focused in on her in a way that made Emerald feel self-conscious.
.
“Listen, I know this is a hard question.” She said, with a bit of gentleness in her voice. “…But did someone hurt you?”
Emerald froze at that, ordering how she had seen right through her. “ I… ”
“I’ve been working as a doctor for nearly thirty years.” Priyanka said, crossing her arms. “I know by now what grab marks look like.”
Emerald self-consciously touched a scar on the side of her eye,
“I just want to help you. You can be honest with me.”
“It’s… it’s just my corruption. ” She managed to say, although the words themselves hurt. “ They’re not injuries, But… yeah .”
“ I don’t know why, but it looks like what injuries would be if I actually had any from it. ” She said, resisting the urge to wring her hands over her wrists once more.
“Did any of this happen recently?” Priyanka asked, and Emerald shook her head.
“ No . I…don’t know how long ago. A little more than a year, I think? ” She hugged herself a little tighter, remembering her own reflection. “ …I only noticed what they were a few months ago. ”
“Do you feel safe at home?” Priyanka asked her, and Emerald wondered why she would ask something like that.
“Of course I do.”
“Now. Is the person who hurt you here with you today?”
Emerald’s eyes widened at that, shaking her head quickly. Priyanka nodded at her obvious no, before Emerald continued.
“The last time I saw her was when she…”
She paused for a moment, not knowing how much to share. After a moment of silence she hugged herself once more, trying to feel safer.
“… She attacked us in the woods. ”
“She tried to sha... kill me.” She corrected, not knowing if Priyanka would understand the concept of shattering as they did. “ I was lucky the others saved me. ”
“…I have an appointment to see to.” Priyanka said after a few moments, looking down at her watch. She frowned at it, knowing that it was important yet knowing this conversation wasn’t done. She looked up again, still holding the same conviction.
“But I… I want you to come back at some point so I can speak more about this with you.”
Emerald nodded in turn, even though there was a sinking feeling growing in her chest.
. . .
As she walked out it suddenly struck Emerald as to the few small things that led to her feeling so uneasy in this place.
It was cold , the distant noise of machinery audible as the sounds echoed through the halls; their own shade of mint green.
A part of her wondered how she could’ve forgotten enough to be so blind.
Almost immediately she felt a weight in her chest, stuffing all emotion down as she tried to stop finding parallels in the repetitive halls that never seemed to end.
“What did Dr. Maheshwaren want?” A voice suddenly asked, cutting through her thoughts as easily as one would slice butter. Emerald managed to look up, a tiredness in her eyes that hadn’t been there a mere moment before.
“ ...She wanted to know about Jasper. ” She said tiredly, looking away once more.
“What? Why?” Amethyst asked, and Emerald rubbed her arm self-consciously. “She, uh… recognized the shapes of my scars. She wants me to come back another time to talk about it.”
It was clear by her demeanor that she didn’t want to talk about it now or later, nor was she interested in receiving such sad looks from the three of them. There was a calm sadness in the air around her, and when Pearl took her hand she could feel the stress in the way she squeezed back.
. . .
The house was quiet when they returned, Emerald and Garnet staying home in favor of going back to work. Pearl had been conflicted, wanting to stay and talk to Emerald while simultaneously knowing she was needed.
In the end Garnet had decided to stay, standing by the counter while Emerald put some water in the kettle to make some tea now that Pearl had taught her how to use the stove.
“What did she say?” Garnet asked after a moment, and Emerald wished she wouldn’t ask her so many questions all the time.
“ Nothing that made anything worse, if that’s what you’re asking. ” She said instead, her hands fiddling together. “ I just… ”
She debated telling Garnet what the real issue was, eventually deciding that if she didn’t, Garnet would probably be able to deduct it anyway. “ ...wasn’t expecting there to be a place on Earth that would remind me so much of it. ”
She went quiet after that, letting the words sink in. Garnet seemed to be debating her options, and Emerald wondered why she didn’t just say things without triple checking herself all the time like the rest of them.
She frowned at that thought, knowing it wasn’t fair to think like that. Garnet was Garnet, future vision included.
Even if sometimes it felt like Garnet was trying to treat her gently because of a few bad possibilities.
“ ...What do you see? ” She couldn’t help but ask, although she knew that nothing Garnet saw was set in stone.
Garnet looked toward her for a moment, the line of her mouth tightening slightly. After a moment she spoke again, any small tone from before removed completely.
“ ...What is it you want me to see? ” She asked, and Emerald knew the question was more than literal.
She knew it was unfair to ask Garnet if she would forget; or if she could move on in a way that didn't take a thousand years. She sighed, looking away as she rested her elbow on the counter and her chin in her hand.
“… I don’t know. ”
Garnet walked over, and Emerald turned to face her. Garnet was gentle as she slowly moved her hands up, setting them on either side of Emerald’s face. Emerald didn’t pull away, feeling the warmth and cold of Garnet’s gems and feeling small.
“… let me show you. ” Garnet said, her visor now gone, and Emerald understood that it was a request for permission.
She took a deep breath, before nodding.
“ …okay .”
Garnet nodded before tilting her head forward, pressing a gentle kiss on Emerald’s
forehead.
. . .
“STOP TREATING ME LIKE I’M FRAGILE!” She snapped, hardly holding back as she shouted. She was so frustrated , sick of being treated like she would snap at any moment. “- YOU'RE THE ONE MAKING ME FEEL ON EDGE!”
Garnet was calm in her response as she stood a few feet away, any emotion on her face carefully hidden.
“ ...you need to calm down. ”
Garnet’s response caught her off guard, even if it was typical for her to seek to deescalate the situation. Despite herself Emerald didn’t shout anymore, although her anger didn’t leave.
She didn’t like feeling angry.
She didn’t like shouting, or facing the memories of when she had.
She didn’t like knowing what gems were capable of when angry.
. . .
The house was quiet, and Emerald hugged herald tightly from where she sat on the couch. “- I know that I’ll never forget, Garnet. ” She said, feeling a weight settle in her chest. “You don’t have to tell me. I know .”
It was a hard thing to admit; constantly trying so hard to convince herself she could block it all out and never go back even if she knew inside she wouldn’t. Garnet was quiet as she offered a hug, but Emerald didn’t feel like a hug would do anything.
Still, even when Garnet set her arms down, she didn’t walk away.
. . .
“I just wish you had told me.” She said with conviction, even knowing that the past was unchangeable. “You had to know she was going to ask me about it, but all you said was questions .”
“I know.” Garnet said simply; all she could say.
Emerald frowned, crossing her arms. “I thought it was going to be questions about what corruption is , not what mine is!”
. . .
Emerald tried and failed to resist tugging on her hair a bit, knowing she was spiraling yet simultaneously unable to stop it.
“I don’t know what to do, it’s like these random moments where I just feel afraid again, out of nowhere-!” She said quickly, and if Garnet told her to calm down she didn’t hear it.
“-And everything just falls apart- I fall apart- I’m trying so hard -!”
Garnet was gentle as she set her hand on Emerald’s shoulder, attempting to draw her out of her spiral before it turned into a full on attack.
Even when Emerald felt tears in her eyes and a weight in her chest, Garnet held her until it melted into the background and she could breathe normally once more.
. . .
“ -I’m trying. ” Was all she said, filled with every conflicting emotion, and Garnet’s reply was simple and quiet.
“... I know. ”
. . .
Suddenly Emerald snapped back, opening her eyes even as tears brimmed within them. Garnet held her arms reassuringly, a steadying presence that anchored her back to the present.
She let Emerald breathe for a few moments, understandably emotional from the shift and range of the various possibilities.
“ ...What do you see? ” Garnet asked when she was ready, hardly looking for a specific answer. She knew more than anyone that the future had different impressions on every being, and Emerald might be seeing a pattern - or the lack of one - that was completely different than she did.
Emerald seemed to think for a moment, staring aimlessly past her shoulder before speaking quietly. “ ...You don’t leave. ”
There was a degree of disbelief in her voice, as though she couldn’t believe that the most-likely futures wouldn’t end in being stuck by herself when she wasn’t feeling well.
Garnet smiled at that, knowing that she had found a different pattern than herself, but one that mattered all the same.
“ Exactly .” She murmured, and upon hearing that Emerald hugged her tightly.
. . .
Garnet didn’t let go even as the minutes went by, and Emerald found herself thankful for something so small. Her few tears had dried, and in a strange way she felt better than she had before.
“-Water’s ready.” Garnet said suddenly, less than a moment before the kettle suddenly shrieked loudly behind them.
And Emerald couldn’t help but laugh.
Notes:
*not me freaking out over how few there is left like GUYS ITS BEEN ALMOST A YEAR I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS AHHHHHHHH*
yayyyy another nine page chapter XD (I decided not to split this in half so that there could be an even 100 chapters)
Chapter Text
Emerald didn’t quite understand what had all the humans excited on that particular day, only that there was an air of excitement and happiness throughout the town.
Pearl was absent when Emerald returned from a short walkthrough town, the others sitting in the kitchen.
“I can’t believe it’s already New Years.” Steven said, before taking a bite of his cereal. “It feels like just yesterday we went to Homeworld.”
“New years?” She questioned, before hearing the door open behind her.
Pearl came in, a pair of red headphones in hand. She smiled, happy to answer the question. “-New Years is how humans celebrate the turning of years, as well as resetting their callender to the beginning the next day.”
“You weren’t here last time.” She said simply, and Emerald was grateful she was treating it like a fact, rather than overdramatizing. “Do… you want to come watch the fireworks with us?”
“… Fireworks ?” Emerald asked genuinely, that being another one of the human phrases she hadn’t heard before.
“Oh!” Pearl looked as though that hadn’t occurred to her, fiddling with the headphones. “-Fireworks are another human invention.”
She thought for a moment, making a small humming sound. “ Hmm… I’m… not entirely sure how to explain them, so I suppose you’ll have to see for yourself. If you’d like.”
“They're really cool.” Amethyst commented from where she sat on the counter, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
“Yup!” Steven added, getting up to set his bowl in the sink.
Pearl glanced away for a moment, before looking back up at her. “Well…Fireworks are very loud, and can sound similar to thunder.”
Emerald felt a slight pinching feeling in her chest, knowing well that she didn’t respond well to such sounds.“… Oh .” She said quietly, wondering if this was going to turn into just another thing she couldn’t do.
“-Hence why I got you these!” Pearl added quickly, holding up the headphones she had brought. “Greg told me he uses ones like them for when he mows his lawn.”
She offered them out, allowing Emerald to take and inspect them. “They should make everything quieter so it doesn’t bother you.”
Emerald couldn’t help but smile at that, looking back up as she felt some excitement. “ Thank you. ”
. . .
Emerald and Pearl sat on one blanket, while Amethyst, Garnet, and Steven sat on another near Connie’s family.
Emerald looked around, taking in the sight of humans and gems alike excitedly conversing about whatever fireworks were.
She then spotted Nanefua’s family, seeing the elder wave off Kofi with one hand as he tried to bother her about something. Kiki’s cast was off, and as she saw Emerald she gave her a small wave.
Emerald waved back, trying to ignore the small pinch of guilt that quickly went away.
Most of the corrupted gems were there as well, and Emerald figured one of the humans must have informed them about the occasion. She could see Biggs and Bismuth sitting with a fusion she had heard others refer to as Lace before, as well as Lapis and Peridot talking in the distance.
Lapis and a few others were sporting similar headphones to what Pearl had given her, although it was clear they came from various sources.
“-They’re starting soon.” Pearl said suddenly behind her, and after nodding Emerald slowly lifted the headphones to cover her ears.
The sound of the ocean and the others talking became near non-existent in a mere moment, and Emerald could feel Pearl wrap her arms around her waist from behind as a wordless reassurance that nothing was going to sneak up on her when she couldn’t hear them.
They waited a few more minutes, until a sudden small rocket lifted into the sky, exploding in light as the fireworks began.
Emerald’s eyes were wide with awe, seeing every ember on a deeper level. As the fireworks continued there were a few that were so bright she had to squint, but overall it was a wonderful experience.
She heard a small rumbling each time, but thanks to the headphones it wasn’t near loud enough to scare her.
The gems around them seemed to be having a similar reaction of awe and wonder, and even those of the humans that had seen it dozens of times seemed to be having fun.
. . .
After a while of light it stayed dark, and Pearl squeezed her hand gently; a signal to let her know it was over. Emerald reached up, carefully taking off the headphones.
The humans were cheering, most gems joining in the celebration after such a spectacle.
“ Happy new years. ” Pearl murmured close to her ear as it got quieter, squeezing her gently. Emerald smiled, figuring it was a customary phrase.
“ Happy New Years. ” She said in return, tilting her head back so she could look up at her.
Pearl had a gentle smile on her face, one that slowly turned mischievous. “… You know, Humans sometimes start off the year with a kiss. ” She said after a moment, and Emerald couldn’t help but smile.
“ Do they? ” She asked, for once only feigning ignorance.
Pearl’s hand drifted up to touch her cheek as Emerald turned toward her, and Pearl rubbed her thumb against it. “ May I? ” She asked, and Emerald felt her cheeks flush as she smiled.
“ You may. ”
Pearl’s kiss was soothingly gentle, and it ended far too soon.
When Pearl pulled back her cheeks were a shade of teal, beautiful with the lit town and the stars visible behind her.
Then Pearl let go of one hand, raising her hand to her gem and pulling something out.
“… I have something for you. ” She murmured, holding it out.
It was a small box, wrapped with a blue ribbon. Emerald inspected it for a moment when Pearl set it in her hands, admiring the careful handiwork that was so very Pearl .
She was gentle as she pulled the end of the ribbon, before opening the small box.
Inside was a small ring, silver with a little star on the top. Within the center of the star was a small gem, turquoise in color.
“It's.. a ring ?” She asked, a bit of confusion in her tone.
“- It connects to the temple. ”
Pearl let the words sink in, and for a moment Emerald studied the ring further. Only after a few moments did the words seem to land, and her head whipped back.
“- What! ?” She asked quietly, eyes wide.
Pearl smiled softly, her hand slowly sliding under Emerald’s to tilt the box toward them. Emerald looked back at it with her, her breaths suddenly shallower. “- It only opens to my room, there was nothing I could do about that… But you can leave from anywhere inside. ”
“-Hopefully. I haven’t had a chance to test it.” She added, knowing that it was important to clarify. “Bismuth helped me make it. I talked with Amethyst and Garnet, and they agree you shouldn’t have to be trapped in there when none of us are with you.”
Emerald felt tears fill her eyes as she became too emotional for proper words, turning and hugging Pearl as tight as she could without accidentally breaking the box
Pearl smiled, hugging her in turn as she pressed a gentle kiss to Emerald’s head.
Then Emerald tilted her head up, and their lips met once more. Pearl made a small noise of surprise before melting into it, the two of them enjoying the moment a but longer than they had before.
When she pulled away Emerald leaned her head against Pearl’s shoulder, slipping the ring on her finger the way she’d seen humans do before resting her hand on Pearl’s chest,
“ Thank you .” She murmured, and Pearl smiled before speaking.
“… Happy New Years. ”
Notes:
IM NOT FREAKING OUT YOU’RE FREAKING OUT!
Chapter Text
It was almost strange how Emerald had spent only a glimpse of time on Earth compared to her wider existence, but in those few years it had simply become home .
She would often wonder when exactly she had grown used to the salty air, or the gentle rush of the ocean, only knowing that it had become comforting.
Ella nudged her hand, breaking through Emerald’s thoughts. She reached to gently scratch behind Ella’s ear, greeted with a small purring.
“ RIGHT TURN! TURN ! TURN !”
Emerald jumped a bit when she heard Amethyst shouting, before relaxing as she remembered that Amethyst and Steven were playing video games upstairs.
“I’M DRIFTING !” Came Steven’s reply, and Emerald chuckled to herself. She moved to pick Ella up from next to her, setting the cat in her lap.
“ Must be exciting. ” She commented to the small creature, returning to her prior task of ear scratches. Cat Steven seemed to have made an appearance as well in her moment of mental absence, sitting on the counter.
Garnet had decided to go help with construction so the rest of them could take a day off, and Pearl had warped away upon saying she had something important to take care of.
Emerald had taken the time to sit on the couch and read a book, a task she should’ve known would be interrupted by their pets.
Relaxing a bit more Emerald leaned the side of her head against the glass window, before glancing toward it.
The sun was close to setting outside, leading her to look more towards the sand and sea than the sky.
When she glanced up she could see the slight glow of her pupils reflected back, black surrounding them. She stared at them for a bit, for once simply seeing a part of her reflection without thinking of the implications of it.
She couldn’t help but smile a bit, watching as the world disappeared for a split moment when she blinked.
. . .
Emerald looked up at the sound of the warp, seeing Pearl step off of its smooth surface when the light faded. She lifted Ella into her arms, going to greet her.
“How was your important business? ” She asked, and Pearl smiled.
“You’ll have to tell me yourself.”
Emerald tilted her head in confusion, and Pearl hesitated. She looked unsure of herself, and possibly even a bit nervous . When she spoke again it was cautious, not knowing how Emerald would respond. “I know you hate blind surprises, but...”
Emerald set Ella on the ground, before moving to take Pearl’s hands in her own. “ Pearl .” She said simply, only love in her tone. “ …I trust you. ”
Pearl felt her cheeks flush as she gained a warm feeling in her chest. She gently let go of one hand to reach toward Emerald’s face, before her thoughts were promptly interrupted.
“ HELL YEAH, LET’S FLIPPIN’ GO !”
Both Emerald and Pearl jumped a bit this time, before Pearl sighed deeply.
“Amethyst!” She called up the stairs, although she didn’t let go of Emerald’s hand. “- Language !”
“ Fiiiiiiiine! ” Amethyst called back, and at Pearl’s dramatic eye roll Emerald couldn’t help but chuckle.
With another glow behind them Garnet had come home, walking forward to lean against the dividing wall. “ Have fun. ” She commented with a smile, and Emerald figured her future vision had told her what was going on.
“ We will. ” She said, looking back towards Pearl with a smile.
. . .
Emerald listened to the gentle wind as they walked, Pearl’s hands resting gently over her eyes. She didn’t know where they were going, only that they had been walking for a while.
Then, they stopped.
And Pearl uncovered her eyes.
Emerald blinked a few times as her eyes adjusted, before they widened.
They were under her favorite tree, Little Homeworld visible in the distance. Pearl had set up a blanket on the ground, a few small lanterns around and a teapot resting on it. By now the sun had mostly set, the bright stars visible all across the sky.
“I made raspberry tea.” She said, and Emerald could hear the smile in her voice.
“ That’s my favorite. ” Emerald whispered in shy disbelief, a smile growing on her face as well as her cheeks flushed. Pearl moved forward to take her hand, squeezing it gently.
Her next words were gentle, and out of the corner of her eye Emerald could see Pearl’s cheeks turning a beautiful shade of teal. “ I thought… we could have a proper first date. ”
Emerald smiled even brighter at that, having recently gotten around to learning the true definition of the word, and nothing short of excited to find out for herself what it was really like.
“Well, come on then!” She said, tugging Pearl’s hand as the two of them went to sit down.
. . .
There was a sense of calm on the air, one that spoke to the true safety and peace of the moment.
Emerald thanked Pearl when she handed her a cup of tea, feeling the warmth against her hands.
“Can… I ask you something? ” She said, her words sounding carefully chosen,
“ Anything .”
Emerald paused , her smile slipping into a frown. She held her cup a bit tighter, hoping her question wouldn’t ruin the moment. “… What was it like, living on Homeworld? ”
Pearl seemed to think for a moment, nodding to herself before responding. As she spoke she looked in the same direction Emerald had moments before, an absentminded look in her eyes.
“ Pink was kind. ” She murmured, reminiscent. “- In that sense, I was luckier than most. ”
Then she sighed deeply, as though remembering something more bitter. “…But everything was so… rigid . I was an object to everyone except Rose.”
“ …I know how that feels. ” Emerald said absentmindedly, setting down her tea, and Pearl took her empty hand.
Pearl laced their fingers together, squeezing her hand gently as they met eyes.“ I know... I’m sorry you do. ”
Emerald nodded briefly, and Pearl looked at their hands as she continued. “When we started the rebellion, she - Rose, - fought for my freedom, too.”
She sighed once more, looking back at the distant word she had long since left behind. “Looking back… I can’t say that I hated it… But I would never go back.”
Emerald nodded in understanding, squeezing her hand.
Then Pearl’s smile returned, even if the sadness didn’t leave her eyes. “I have an even stranger question.” She said, meeting Emerald’s eyes.
“ Huh ?” Emerald tilted her head, but didn’t protest.
“What is it like, here on Earth?” Pearl asked slowly, and Emerald couldn’t help but smile as she caught on. She thought for a few moments, before tagging Pearl’s hand to encourage her to sit closer.
Pearl moved closer, and Emerald leaned her head against her shoulder. “Well, there’s this amazing gem that’s beautiful in every sense of the word, that I admire deeply and trust more than anyone else.”
She moved her other hand so both of hers were holding Pearl’s, looking into her eyes.
“ …And her name is Garnet. ”
Pearl looked genuinely surprised at that, and awkward silence reigned for a few moments.
Then Emerald couldn’t resist anymore, breaking into a laugh. “It’s you , Pearl.” She said In between laughs, moving her hand to touch the side of her face.
“I’d hope so.” Pearl said with mock haughtiness, as though there never should have been any other options.
Then her smile softened, and she squeezed Emerald's hand. “I’d like to think you feel that way, at least.”
Emerald tilted her head up to kiss Pearl’s cheek, astringent her hand on Pearl’s chest as she spoke without a shred of doubt. “ Trust me. I do. ”
When she pulled back Emerald picked up her tea, taking a small sip.
“ It’s good tea. ” She commented, and Pearl nodded her thanks. “ Would you… like a taste? ”
“ Alright .”
However, when Pearl leaned to take the cup from her, Emerald moved forward and pressed their lips together.
When Emerald pulled back after a few moments, leaving the taste of raspberry on her lips, Pearl was thoroughly flushed.
Emerald laughed, a light sound that carried on the wind.
Pearl’s face broke into a smile, moving her free hand to take the cup and set it back on the coaster. Then she lifted it to Emerald's cheek, admiring her soft skin.
“ May I? ” She asked, and Emerald nodded.
“ You may. ”
Pearl allowed herself to thread her hand into Emerald's hair when their lips met once more, feeling Emerald's hand come to rest on her shoulder.
The two of them let this one last longer, feeling pure love in the way they held one another.
They pulled back slower this time, and Emerald leaned back against Pearl’s shoulder.
The two of them looked out at the moon and stars, admiring the sight along and the company of their love.
There was a sense of peace in the moment, as though it would last forever.
They knew that such a thing was impossible, but at the same time, it was a nice thought.
However, one thing was for sure.
They were going to change, grow, and live .
Together.
Notes:
What can I say?
Other than WOW, THANKS!, of course.
This entire series turns 1 YEAR old in just a few weeks, something that in itself is crazy to think about. I’ve spent some 340 days working on this, which when put into perspective just shows how much I truly love this show. (It also shows I don’t have a life, but we’re ignoring that lol(I promise I have a life outside this Fic ok))
It’s hard to believe that this part of the story is over when I’ve been working on it that long, and this change in particular feels like a fever dream; like it would never arrive.
I have to thank all of you, for every kudos and every comment, as you guys are and always will be my motivation. I’m glad you liked my ‘little’ AU enough to tell me (or shout at me for all I’ve put this poor gem through 💀)
Honorable mentions:
-The guest that commented only once just to say “NO.”
-My first ever scam comment (I laughed so hard)
-my consistent commenters, special thanks to y’all for coming back on nearly every chapter (Quill, Raptor, and Sundew lookin at you guys)I can assure all of you that this isn’t where Emerald’s story ends; in fact, we’re far from it! Those of you who’ve read my anniversary teasers know I have more in store, as well as the fact that we haven’t even reached the movie yet! Rest assured that there’s more coming, and I won’t be leaving AO3 anytime soon!
All that to say that I WILL be taking a break to get everything for the next part of this story all sorted out as well as focus on the end of the school year, so The Unpleasant Routes of Emotional Travel will be taking a short hiatus. I don’t have an exact date for when I’ll be back, just know that it won’t be long!
While this series will be on pause I’ll most likely still be posting in works such as The Forgotten Ones and Shifty’s Archive, so if you miss me too much feel free to go over there! (Joking. No pressure.)
I’ll see you guys in a bit!
-Shifty❤️
Art for this chapter: https://www.tumblr.com/shiftingtribemasterfics/782390585305743360/what-can-i-say-other-than-wow-thanks-of
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 2 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:12PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 2 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:14PM UTC
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Quillofthoth on Chapter 3 Tue 25 Jun 2024 07:17PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 3 Tue 25 Jun 2024 07:18PM UTC
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Quillofthoth on Chapter 4 Tue 25 Jun 2024 07:21PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 4 Tue 25 Jun 2024 07:24PM UTC
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- (Guest) on Chapter 4 Wed 26 Jun 2024 01:54PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 4 Wed 26 Jun 2024 02:04PM UTC
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 4 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:14PM UTC
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 4 Tue 09 Jul 2024 03:39PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 4 Tue 09 Jul 2024 03:56PM UTC
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Quillofthoth on Chapter 5 Wed 26 Jun 2024 08:22PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 5 Wed 26 Jun 2024 08:26PM UTC
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 5 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:16PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 5 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:17PM UTC
Last Edited Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:18PM UTC
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 5 Tue 09 Jul 2024 03:30PM UTC
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Quillofthoth on Chapter 6 Wed 26 Jun 2024 10:16PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 6 Wed 26 Jun 2024 10:23PM UTC
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 6 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:21PM UTC
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 6 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:58PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 6 Tue 09 Jul 2024 03:00PM UTC
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Quillofthoth on Chapter 7 Wed 26 Jun 2024 10:20PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 7 Wed 26 Jun 2024 10:24PM UTC
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Quillofthoth on Chapter 7 Wed 26 Jun 2024 10:28PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 7 Wed 26 Jun 2024 10:35PM UTC
Last Edited Wed 26 Jun 2024 10:36PM UTC
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 7 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:25PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 7 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:27PM UTC
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 7 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:57PM UTC
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Quillofthoth on Chapter 8 Wed 26 Jun 2024 11:58PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 8 Wed 26 Jun 2024 11:59PM UTC
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 8 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:28PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 8 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:29PM UTC
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Quillofthoth on Chapter 9 Thu 27 Jun 2024 12:00AM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 9 Thu 27 Jun 2024 12:01AM UTC
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 9 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:30PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 9 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:31PM UTC
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Quillofthoth on Chapter 10 Thu 27 Jun 2024 12:05AM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 10 Thu 27 Jun 2024 12:06AM UTC
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 10 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:59PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 10 Tue 09 Jul 2024 03:02PM UTC
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TheMandoLillian on Chapter 10 Thu 27 Jun 2024 03:07AM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 10 Thu 27 Jun 2024 03:07AM UTC
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Raptor0Keyboard on Chapter 10 Tue 09 Jul 2024 02:59PM UTC
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ShiftingTribemaster on Chapter 10 Tue 09 Jul 2024 03:02PM UTC
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