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It started like any usual mission.
Atsushi and Akutagawa get paired together by Dazai-san or someone else to complete an objective, they complain, complete the mission while keeping the murder attempts to a minimum.
That's how it usually goes.
Recently, though, they've switched to a more... different way of fighting.
Fighting in the sense of verbal sparring.
It's much better than trying to murder each other, and takes up much less time.
So, they had completed their mission successfully, and were now carrying an item back to the agency.
"Honestly, weretiger, one would think you had at least some braincells left in that tiny brain of yours. Maybe you can ask to borrow some from Keiji, considering he has more than you."
They were nearing the building, and their insults had not let up a tiny bit.
"Honestly, Akutagawa, can't you come up with better insults? My intelligence this, chopping off a limb that. At least I can come up with proper comebacks!"
Akutagawa huffs, rolling his obsidian eyes like some sort of sassy teenager. "At least I have a proper eating schedule."
Atsushi gaped. Low blow! "At least I didn't collapse because I ate too much chocolate!"
"At least I am not a cat."
"At least I am not afraid of dogs!" Atsushi scoffed.
"At least I didn't kill my torturer. Twice, in fact."
Atsushi gaped. Really? Going for Shibusawa, now? Well, he can match Akutagawa in that!
"At least I did not make my entire reason to live be joining the mafia, while I still had a living sister!"
They had already reached the cafe where currently most of the agency members were enjoying their lunch, and while the verbal fight was enjoyable to the two, they had completely missed the agency's member's amusement turning into confusion and slight horror at the insults.
"At least I wasn't experimented on."
"Will you stop going for the Shibusawa-incidents?! At least I don't admire my abuser!"
The agency members horror grew. Is that why Atsushi seemed so off the entire shibusawa mission/incident?
"At least I did not nearly starve to death the moment I was thrown out of the orphanage and depended on myself." Akutagawa returns, his glare playful to nobody but Atsushi as he crossed his arms.
"At least my friends weren't shot down!" Atsushi wondered if this is just their coping mechanisms. Well, they had grown somewhat closer, anyway...
"At least I had friends!" Akutagawa returned, then he suddenly froze up and looked behind Atsushi. What, was there a ghost here?
Atsushi turned to look at whatever Akutagawa was looking at, another scathing remark on his tongue, when he spied what exactly made Akutagawa stop and the words died on the spot.
He waved at the horrified agency members, in total Tanizaki, Naomi, Ranpo, Kenji, Kyouka and Kunikida, who looked as if he was in the middle of saying something before he decided against it. A light, slightly awkward smile appeared on Atsushi's face. Is something wrong with his hair? Is that why they are looking at him weird? Ah, no, must just be his newfound friendliness with the black hound of the port mafia. He turned back to Akutagawa, taking the mission item from his outstretched hands easily.
"Well, we're at the agency. No hard feelings, yeah?"
Akutagawa simply nodded and hightailed it out of the café, the doorbell ringing softly. Atsushi waved to him, nodded at the still terrified looking agency members, and went up to meet Fukuzawa. Maybe he'd even get a head pat for how quickly Akutagawa and he were done! He hummed happily, satisfied for the day.
The agency members that were on the break down in the café on the other hand were exchanging worried glances.
"So, are we gonna ask Atsushi about that later?", Tanazaki asked, his sister for once not clinging to him. Nobody answered.