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This hospital room is surprisingly comfortable, Yoojin thinks, once his eyes take in the setting. The bed is nice and plush, the blanket is soft, and there's a window letting in a satisfying amount of sunlight. This was a rich people hospital. A very rich people hospital.
So how did he get here?
He can't remember getting injured or sick. At least not enough to warrant getting transported to a hospital. Money is so tight now he can't afford to splurge a single cent on something that's not a necessity, especially if he's going to keep Yoohyun-
The mere thought of Yoohyun sends him up from his lying down position in a flash. His feels his head turning for a moment, world tilting as dizziness overcomes him before he feels his world start to come together again.
"Ahjussi?" A young girl's voice asks next to him. "You're awake?"
He turns to look at her.
"Who are you?"
She seems a little taken aback before she answers.
"My name is Bak Yerim. You've been in an accident. How do you feel?"
An accident.
"Where's Yoohyun-ah?" He asks, heart in his throat.
"He's okay! I'll call him over right now okay! Don't panic!"
It's far too late for those comforting words. He can already feel the now familiar stirrings of a panic attack inside him.
"He should be here any minute!" She tells him after a few seconds of tapping on her phone.
"Is he hurt?" He asks again.
"No." She shakes her head. "No he's fine. I promise okay?"
He looks at her, as though trying to determine wether or not she's lying before he feels another wave of dizziness hit him and he lays back down slightly on his too comfortable pillows.
"Who are you?" He asks again.
"My name is Bak Yerim." She repeats slowly.
"Yes I heard you the first time. But I still don't know who you are. Why are you here?"
"I'm a...family friend."
"A family friend? That's odd. I don't remember seeing you at the funeral."
"The funeral?"
""Yes. The funeral? For my parents?"
"Ah! Yes! That funeral!" She twists her hands anxiously together. "Um...yeah I was uh...I was sick."
"You were sick." He says, levelling her with the same look he gave Yoohyun whenever he claimed to have already finished all his homework.
"Um..." She starts sweating. "I..."
The door opens stopping her interrogation and a strange man walks in.
"Yoojin, you're awake! I'm so glad! We were all so worried about you!"
"Oh uh....thanks...?"
"Oh right! My name is Yoo Myeongwoo."
"Right." He nods. "And you are?"
"I am a family friend." He says.
"Wow." Yoojin says, unable to hide the bitterness in his tone. "There are a lot of family friends gathered here today. Sure would have been nice of you to show up for the funeral."
Yoo Myeongwoo at least has the decency to look guilty.
"Where's Yoohyun?" He asks again.
"He's coming right over." He reassures him. "He was just held up by one of the doctors but he'll be here any second now."
"Held up by a doctor?" He asks, alarmed. He jumps up, ignoring the steady pounding in his head and the flash of dizziness when he moves to sit upright. "Why? What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing's wrong with him!" The man says but considering neither of then have said anything even remotely resembling the truth so far he's not too inclined to believe them. "Please Yoojin-ssi just stay lying down he's going to be so mad when he comes if he finds out you're not resting.
"Yeah!" The girl pipes up. "Lie back down the doctor said you probably had a concussion!"
"Let go of me." He says, trying to wriggle out of her surprisingly strong grip. "Who even are you?"
They struggle for a moment, Yoojin desperately trying to wriggle out of her grasp while the two of them try to calm him down.
Suddenly, the door opens and Yoojin feels his heart almost stop from the shock.
"Dad?!"
The newcomer freezes in place, looking for all intents like a deer in headlight but Yoojin's eyes are too full of tears to notice. Heedless of the IVs and machines he is hooked up to, he gets up and launches himself at the man, crushing him in a hug as he blubbers like the child he has never felt like he was.
"Dad!" He cries. "You came back for me?"
The man looks like he has just been shot in the face. Slowly, he raises his arms to return the hug, carefully holding Yoojin against him.
"Um..." The man says. "Yes, I..."
The second the man starts talking Yoojin realises with a jolt that the man cannot possibly be his father. The voice is wrong, and so is the height. And really now that he looks at him there are differences, subtle enough to be noticeable on second look.
He tilts his head to the side for a moment.
"Uncle is that you?"
The man opens his mouth and doesn't answer. Looking even more shocked than before.
"I'm sorry I didn't recognise you." He says. "I haven't seen you in so long." He wipes his tears away with the sleeve of his hospital gown.
"You mean he wasn't at the funeral either?" The girl pipes up.
He turns to glare at her.
"Nobody was there but me and Yoohyun." He tells her.
The man looks at him for a moment and he realises with a start that that man isn’t his uncle either and that he has just rushed and embraced a random stranger with the faintest ressemblance to his dad.
"I'm not your uncle." He tells him, and for a moment he looks almost sad at that fact, like he wishes that he really could have been his uncle.
"I'm really sorry." He sniffles, quickly letting go. The man doesn't let him, instead holding him even tighter and looking at him almost conflicted for a few moments.
"You look so young." He says finally, voice cracking a little. "You weren't this young in my memories."
"Um...do I know you sir?"
"Yes." He shakes his head as though to regroup his thoughts.
"You should sit back down hy-" He pauses. "Sit back down and I'll explain everything."
"Where's Yoohyun?" He asks instead.
The man flinches at that.
"Does it matter?"
"Of course it matters!" He says, familiar anger burning inside of him. "He's my brother! I'm supposed to look after him! If you're not going to tell me where he is then at least get out of the way so that I can look for him!"
His attempts at exiting the room are foiled when the man carefully, so carefully, like he thinks Yoojin's bones are made of glass, blocks his way and gently redirects him to his bed.
"Just get back into bed and-"
"No!" He snaps, fully incensed. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me where my brother is and what you've done to him!"
A complicated expression flashes across his face before he says.
"Hyung," the man says after a while. "It's me."
"What?"
“I’m Yoohyun."
Yoojin looks at him at that, incredulous, the pounding in his head growing louder and louder.
"What the fuck?" He says. "No you're not. Yoohyun-ah has just turned ten and you're at least eighteen if not older."
But even as he says it he feels the stirrings of something uncomfortable in his stomach as he realises how painfully familiar the man's features are. With shaky hands, he brushes the man's hair aside and tilts his head to the side to look behind his left ear. Yoohyun had a birthmark there, right behind his left ear. If this was really him then-
He feels his entire world come into focus as the very distinctive birthmark on Yoohyun's skin, right behind his left ear, looks back at him almost mockingly.
"What...?" He rasps before falling into a dead faint to the panicked cries of "hyung!".
They tell him that he's gotten de-aged. That the world has changed drastically since he was fifteen. That Yoohyun is now some kind of multi-billionaire.
"People have superpowers now!" The girl, Yerim, he reminds himself, tells him.
"No they don't." Yoojin counters.
Yerim immediately proves him wrong by summoning a little ball of water and twisting it into animal shapes.
"I've been practicing!" She says proudly. "What do you think?”
“Wow!” He whispers, looking at the little water-dog doing tricks in the palm of Yerim’s hand. And for a moment he is just a boy discovering magic is real. “Cool!”
"I have powers too hyung!" This strange version of his baby brother says, before summoning an entire ball of fire in his hand.
"Oh my god fire! Put it out!" He screams.
Yerim immediately douses the fire with her water and cackles at the dismayed expression on Yoohyun’s face.
"Never do that again!"
"I'm sorry hyung I didn't mean to scare you." Yoohyun says, looking extraordinarily like a kicked puppy.
"It's alright." He says once he feels his heartbeat slow down. "It's okay." He raises his hand to tussle his hair affectionately before stopping mid-gesture. Yoohyun might have tolerated that kind of thing when he was a kid, but there's no way he would now that he was an adult, a super-rich adult with fire powers at that. He lets his hand drop but Yoohyun catches it, pouting, and goes to put it on his head. So he never had outgrown the head pats huh? He can't help but find it terribly endearing.
"Aren't you too old for this now?" He says, tussling his hair.
"No." He says simply.
"Me too!" Yerim says, throwing herself between them.
Yoohyun scowls.
"Go away."
She sticks her tongue out at him and Yoojin can't help but snicker. Yoohyun's scowl deepens.
“Now, now settle down children.” He says even though Yoohyun is the one five years older than him now.
“Yes ahjussi.”
“Yes hyung.”
He shifts in his hospital bed.
“Do you guys know when I’ll be allowed to leave?”
“Tomorrow if everything goes well.” Yerim says.
“It better.” Yoohyun mumbles.
“We should leave Yoojin-ssi to rest.” The nice man who has been quietly sitting in the corner, Yoo Myeongwoo, says.
“I’m not leaving.” Yoohyun says before planting himself stubbornly in the chair next to his bedside.
“I’m not leaving either!” Yerim insists.
“Well there’s only one overnight visitor allowed.”
“Then I should be the one staying.”
“No I-“
“You should both go back.” He says.
“What?!” Yoohyun protests.
“Staying at the hospital all night is going to be really inconvenient.” He tells him. “Plus I’m not a child I can stay one night on my own.”
Yoohyun looks at him strangely for a moment.
“But you are.”
“What?”
“You are a child.” He smiles unhappily. “I always knew of course but it’s funny for some reason I never really realised it until right now.”
A heavy silence falls after that.
“I’m not leaving you.” Yoohyun says finally. “You would never have left me alone at the hospital at that age and I’m the hyung now so I’m not leaving either.”
“Who’s the hyung now?” He grumbles but doesn’t protest any further, letting his head fall back on the pillows.
God he’s so tired.
“Do what you want.” He says finally before letting himself fall asleep again, his hand enveloped in Yoohyun’s now much bigger one.
The apartment Yoohyun moves him in is large.
Very large.
Very very large.
His bedroom alone is bigger than the entire shoebox apartment he was sharing with Yoohyun. A fact that hadn't escaped him when Yoohyun had started proudly showing the place to him, eyes wide, as though desperately waiting for Yoojin's appraisal.
"Nice place." He says, and Yoohyun's smile is blinding.
He can't but feel uneasy. Everything is too big, too shiny, too expensive. He feels guilty even sitting on the couch, let alone touch any of the expensive-looking snacks sitting in the cupboards.
Yoohyun must find him so pitiful now, he thinks grimly. The little apartment he had managed to squeeze them in, that he was dropping out of school to be able to afford, was ridiculous when compared to what Yoohyun was doing now.
He wonders how the older him feels about it. If it fills him with the same burning sense of inadequacy as it does now, or wether he's simply become numb to it.
"What am I supposed to be doing?" He asks Yoohyun after his third day of bed-rotting in the apartment.
"Nothing." Yoohyun tells him. "Hyung doesn't have to do anything."
"I can't just do nothing!" He protests.
"Why not?"
"Because...because...let me do some of the chores at least."
"No."
He bites back a groan.
"I could cook." He says even though Yoohyun is probably rich enough to have a whole team of cooks on rotation.
"That's not necessary."
"The laundry?"
"It's already taken care of."
"The dusting?"
"There's no need to do that."
He feels himself start to grow antsy the longer he is forced to sit down and do nothing. He can't remember the last time he was this free. Ever since he'd been five his life had been a constant rotation of chores to keep Yoohyun, alive, and entertained, and happy. What was he to do now that Yoohyun didn't need him to do any of those things?
"What do I usually do all day?" He asks Yoohyun, desperately.
"Nothing important." He says, sending a dagger straight into his heart. "Hyung should just rest for now. Don't worry about it."
"I see."
So he was just a freeloader huh? One Yoohyun was apparently too nice to get rid off.
"Does hyung want anything?" Yoohyun asks earnestly.
He shakes his head.
"No. Thank you Yoohyun. Don't worry about me alright? Just focus on your job."
He still didn't understand what exactly Yoohyun's job was, even though Yerim had tried to explain it to him many times, but he still didn't fully understand what a guild even was.
"Making sure hyung is alright is more important."
"I'm an adult I don't need to be looked after."
Yoohyun pauses for a moment.
"Hyung isn't an adult though."
"I've been legally emancipated for months now." He says. "How else do you think they allowed you to stay with me?"
Yoohyun nods thoughtfully.
"I see." He takes another look at Yoojin, eyes scrutinising him more strictly. "Hyung can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"Why didn't you leave me behind and go on your own?"
The question is so shocking that he doesn't know how to respond, merely looking on, mouth open.
"Why?" He repeats. "What do you mean why?" He goes over and lightly flicks Yoohyun's forehead. "Who's been putting this nonsense in your head?" He shakes his head, disbelievingly. "'Why' he asks me. Why do you think Yoohyun?"
Yoohyun does not answer, instead casting his eyes downwards and letting his head hang low. Finally after a while, he says;
"I've really been burdening hyung all this time."
"Don't be stupid!" He says, "Who said you were a burden? Hm? You're not a burden you're..." he feels himself choke up. "you're my precious baby brother."
"I don't deserve it." He finally says after a while.
"You don't have to." He tells him. "I'll love you anyway okay?" Yoohyun looks so sad, so lost, so much like his Yoohyun, that Yoojin can't resist the impulse to get up and hug him. It's a little difficult now that Yoohyun has outgrown him, but Yoohyun does an admirable job of folding himself nearly in half so that he can fit into Yoojin's arms just like he did when he was a child.
"There, there." He murmurs, rubbing Yoohyun's back as best as he could. "It's alright hyung's got you okay?"
This posture is awfully familiar. Just yesterday he'd held Yoohyun just like this while comforting him about their parent's deaths. Granted, in retrospect, Yoohyun hadn't seemed particularly sad, but he'd still clung onto Yoojin and buried his face in his shoulder to seek comfort, just like now.
Yoohyun lets go and looks at him, the rims of his eyes red.
"Hyung is too good to me and I don't deserve it."
"Of course not." Yoojin says. "Now come, hyung will make you a nice cup of tea and then you'll feel better okay?"
"No!" Yoohyun jumps up. "I'll do it! Hyung shouldn't be using the kettle."
"Shouldn't be using the kettle?" He protests. "I've been using the kettle since before you could walk mister."
Yoohyun doesn't answer but his shoulders tense at that.
"All the more reason for hyung not to do it anymore." He says firmly, and refuses to budge at all.
"What do teenage boys like?" He overhears Yoohyun asking Yerim the next day. "I want to give hyung something so he's not bored and unhappy."
Ah. So he had noticed his restlessness even though he'd done his best to hide it. It seems this older Yoohyun wasn't as easily fooled by a smile and an "I'm fine" the way the younger one had.
"What kind of fucking question is that? Weren't you a teenage boy? What was your favorite activity when you were a teenager?"
"My favorite activity was helping hyung unpack groceries." He says entirely serious.
"Um..."
"Also helping hyung snatch enough items during big sales. One time we managed to get an entire new microwave at half-price and all I had to do was bite a few people."
"Okay." Yerim says. "So we won't be going with your ideas then. Let's see...I mean the teenage boys at my school all really like gaming so maybe we could get him a gaming console?"
"You think?" He asks, sounding skeptical.
"What else are you gonna do? Take him to another bulk sale?" She asks sarcastically.
Yoohyun pauses and seems to genuinely consider this.
"Hyung does love getting lots of stuff during sales." He ponders. "He says it feels like he just robbed the store."
"Yeah, probably because he couldn't afford anything otherwise. Wake up Guild Leader." She rolls her eyes. "Just get him a gaming console and some games he can play okay?.”
Yoohyun nods and takes out his phone.
"There are too many types of gaming consoles." He says after a while. "Which kind should I get him?"
"Just get him one of each." Yerim proposes like that is a logical and reasonable compromise and not something insane.
Yoohyun nods like Yerim has just made an excellent point.
"What are you guys doing?!" He yells jumping out of his hiding spot. "Don't buy me so much stuff! Yoohyun what are you thinking? I didn't raise you to waste money like this!"
"It's not wasting." Yoohyun explains calmly. "It's for hyung."
That makes it even more of a waste, he wants to yell but manages to swallow down at the last second.
"I don't need all that stuff. I don't need anything. You said I would go back to normal in ten days so there's no need to buy anything for me specifically."
"Of course there is." Yoohyun insists. "Hyung is bored here.”
Yoojin does not bother to deny this.
"So let me go outside! Or do anything to make myself useful!"
"No. Hyung has worked enough. He should be resting and relaxing and doing nothing."
"You're being ridiculous." He says, feeling the rims of his eyes start to prickle with unshed tears.
“I’m not.” Yoohyun retorts. “Besides, I already bought them all.”
Yoojin throws his hands in the air and stalk off to his room, grumbling the whole time.
"Ahjussi look what just arrived!" Yerim tells him excitedly, gesturing at a bunch of packages.
“Who’s ‘ahjussi’. I’m not that old." He grumbles. "I'm only fifteen."
Yerim pauses for a moment and tilts her head as she considers this.
"You're right. Oppa it is then!"
He sighs.
"Better than 'ahjussi' at least."
"Now come on! Which one do you want to test out first? All the boys in my class say this one is the best one." She gestures to a large package to the side.
"That's a weird looking gaming console." He says as he watches her rip apart the packaging.
“Wow oppa you’re really old."
"I'm not old!" He protests, looking skeptically at the gaming console.
"Sure." She says, unconvinced. "Now let's try it out!"
The console is...fine. He's not not having fun at any rate. And besides, playing with Yerim is fun. She's very animated as she plays.
"Oppa look out you're going to fall off the cliff-" She groans. "Not again!"
"Sorry." He says, smiling.
"Oppa focus or we're never going to get past this level." She tells him.
"Alright I'm focused."
The gaming controller feels odd in his hand. He can't remember having ever played a video game. Money had been too tight for him to ever be able to afford one for himself and Yoohyun had never seemed particularly inclined to play video games either.
"Where's Yoohyun?" He asks, looking around. He wonders if Yoohyun has ever played a video game before now that he's rich or maybe he doesn't have the time or the inclination to do so.
"Probably keeping Sung-ahjussi away." She says. "He's been trying to get in for days now."
"Oh? Who's that?"
Her expression turns stormy.
"Some bastard."
"Language!" He can't help but reprimand her, almost instinctively, tapping her lightly on the head with the controller.
"Ow." She says even though it hadn't hurt. "Why are you telling me not to swear we're supposed to be the same age." She whines.
"Why is he trying to see me?" Yoojin asks instead.
She shrugs.
"He's a weirdo. Also he was with you when you got hurt."
"Why won't Yoohyun let him in then?"
"Because he's an ass-" She pauses. "I mean because he's awful and we all hate him!"
He blinks.
"Uh...wow. Those are some very big feelings Yerim."
"He's just so awful oppa you have no idea he-"
"Who's your 'oppa'?" A fuming voice asks from the background.
"Yoohyun you're back!"
Yoohyun is standing at the door, looking distinctly miffed, and holding a huge bouquet of flowers.
"Who's your 'oppa'?" He repeats, looking straight at Yerim.
"What?" She says, unperturbed. "He's too young to be called ahjussi now."
"You-"
"What's that?" He asks to change the subject, gesturing at the flowers in Yoohyun's hands. “A gift from your girlfriend?"
"No. It's just trash. Don't worry about it hyung." He says, throwing the beautiful flower arrangement in the conveniently located trash can.
"Yoohyun! Throwing away gifts is rude!"
“It’s not a gift.” He glowers. “It’s just an annoyance. Hyung don’t think about it any more okay?”
He gives Yoojin The Look. The one he is particularly weak to, and he can feel himself fold immediately like a piece of wet tissue.
Dammit since when did he know my weakness like this.
His curiosity does get the better of him later though when he notices the card attached to the bouquet on the ground, right by the trashcan.
Well, he’s certainly not going to leave trash lying around is he?
To my dearest partner, the card reads, I was so saddened to hear about your grievous injuries. Why if the young master is to be believed then you are near death and can receive absolutely no visitors! Truly a pity. I am positively bereft without my lovely partner. Day and night I anxiously await news of your recovery. I am so sick with worry I have hardly slept these last few days. How does Han Yoojin-gun plan on compensating me for this I wonder? I will have to think of something fitting.
Your dearest partner,
Sung Hyunjae
Wow, Yoojin thinks, Yerim was right. This guy is incredibly annoying!
He tosses the card into the trashcan and thinks no more of it.
"Why isn't he playing with the video games?" Yoohyun whispers accusingly at Yerim.
"I don't know!" She whispers back.
"The only one playing with it is you!" He whisper-shouts. "This was a gift for hyung why are you using it so much?"
"It's really fun!" She says defensively. "Plus I'm almost at level 47! It's not my fault he won't play I invite him every time."
"What do I do now?"
"I don't know! Isn't every teenage boy's dream to sit around doing nothing and playing video games?"
"I can hear you you know." Yoojin finally pipes up from where he is laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling.
Both of them immediately shut up, looking at each other slightly guiltily.
"Sorry hyung." Yoohyun says, not sounding sorry in the slightest.
"You know you could just ask me." He goes on.
"You're right." He goes to sit next to him while Yerim sits on the other side. "What do you want hyung?"
"I want to go outside."
"No."
Yoojin sighs.
"I want to go back to work."
"Absolutely not!" Yoohyun says, voice almost panicky.
"Why not let him play with Peace for a little bit?" Yerim proposes.
"No." Yoohyun immediately refuses.
"Peace?" Yoojin asks.
"He's a dungeon monster you're raising. He's so cute-"
"A monster?!"
Yerim takes out her phone and shows him pictures of a frankly adorable little orange furball.
"Huh. He is kind of cute."
"Right? So what do you say? We bring Peace here and we can go play on the roof! And-"
"I said no." Yoohyun repeats. "It's too dangerous. Peace is a monster and hyung doesn't have any of his beast taming skills. What if something goes wrong?"
Yerim pouts.
"It was just an idea."
"Who asked you to have ideas?" Yoohyun snaps.
"Yoohyun that's so rude be nice!" He admonishes him lightly, flicking his forehead.
"Yeah! That's so rude! Do you see how rude he's being to me oppa?"
Yoohyun's left eye starts twitching at the word "oppa" as his gaze turns positively murderous. If Yoojin didn't know better he would almost think that Yoohyun was about to go crazy. It's great his little brother is so even-tempered and well-behaved.
Well, except for the whole imprisonment situation.
“You-!”
“Why don’t you go play that game you like so much Yerim?” He says quickly. He doesn’t know why Yerim calling him oppa was so annoying to Yoohyun. Did he think no younger girls had ever called him ‘oppa’ before? But he still couldn’t bear to see Yoohyun upset. “Weren’t you still trying to beat level 47?”
“Yeah!” She perks up. “How about you come play with me?”
“I’ll come join you in a minute.” He agrees indulgently. “How about you get started first?”
The silence after she leaves is awkward in a way that is unfamiliar to him. He isn’t used to awkward silences between him and Yoohyun. One of his favorite things had always been coming home after a long day of work to sit quietly with his little brother on the couch.
"You know," he says, unable to keep bear the silence any longer, "I've been taking care of you all alone since I was five. I can definitely take care of myself for a couple of hours outside. I don't need to be constantly supervised like this."
Yoohyun looks stricken, like he has just been slapped, sending a jolt of guilt through him.
"Is it really so wrong of me to want to look after hyung the way he's always looked after me?" He says finally, voice quiet, eyes cast downwards.
“I’ve never forbidden you from going outside.” He retorts. “Plus you don't need to do any of this weird stuff. I don't need you to make anything up to me. I'm taking care of you because I love you and it's my job."
"But...I also want to take care of hyung. I'm an adult now I can do it!”
“I don’t need to be taken care of!” He insists. “Where did you get these weird ideas from? I never expected you to take care of me! All I ever wanted was for you to be well and to be happy!”
"And I want the same for you!" He yells back. "Why can't hyung understand that?"
"Well you're certainly going about it in a strange way. I feel like I'm a criminal on house arrest."
"I just...it's just too dangerous outside."
"That's ridiculous. I know the city like the back of my palm. What are you afraid I'm going to get lost or something?"
"Hyung doesn't understand the world we live in now. There are all sorts of danger you wouldn't even think to protect yourself from and so many people who would try to hurt you to get to me." He pleads with him to understand.
"I know I'm still in high school, I mean, I know I dropped out of high school," He corrects, the words tasting acrid on his tongue, "but I'm not stupid."
"I didn't mean that!" Yoohyun says desperately.
"Then what did you mean?"
"I just want you to be safe! I need hyung to be safe."
"I'm perfectly fine." He insists. "I've been looking out for myself alone all this time . Even if there are some things I don't know I'll figure out as I go along. Do you think I knew how to file for sole custody of a minor until I had to go ahead and do it?"
Yoohyun looks at him for a moment.
"I didn't know we had an uncle." Is all he says.
"What?" He asks, surprised at the sudden change of topic.
"When you first woke up you thought I was our uncle." He explains. "How come I've never seen him before?"
"Of course you have." He says, not looking him in the eyes. "He just hasn't been around for those past few years."
Yoohyun nods solemnly.
"It's because of me isn't it?"
"No!" Yoojin protests. "Of course not! What a stupid thing to say. Of course it wasn't because of you. How could it be? You're such a sweet kid."
"Only hyung thinks so." He says, voice thick.
"Then everyone else is wrong."
Yoohyun's top lip starts wobbling and for a moment Yoojin thinks he is about to burst into sobs before he takes a deep breath.
"Hyung I'm sorry."
"Why would you be sorry? Yoohyun-ah what is that I always tell you? As long as we're together then I don't need anybody else."
That however, seems to do it, and Yoohyun starts shaking with silent sobs.
"Why are you crying?" Yoojin panicks. "Don't cry!" He goes up to rub his back soothingly, hearing hitched sobs about how "I left you" and "you were all alone" and "I'm sorry".
"There, there." He murmurs, "It's alright. Really Yoohyun-ah aren't you too big to be crying like this?"
Yoohyun sniffles but does not answer, extracting himself from Yoojin's arms.
"It's okay. Don't cry anymore alright? Even if you left me alone for a while it's alright. Hyung forgives you."
"You don't even know what happened how can you forgive me?"
He reaches out to pinch one of Yoohyun's reddened cheeks.
"Of course I forgive you. How could I not? You're my little brother and you're here now aren't you? If you don't believe me ask the older me when he's back okay?"
Yoohyun doesn't answer, instead looking at Yoojin like he was somehow simultaneously breaking and mending his heart all at once.
"Come on," He moves to pull up Yoohyun with him who goes with no resistance. “Enough of the sad talk. Let’s go watch Yerim play her video game okay? Maybe after we can all play together. Have you ever played a video game?"
"I haven't." He sniffles.
"I hadn't either until now. Come, hyung will teach you." He smiles comfortingly at Yoohyun and pulls him to the other room where Yerim is cursing at her screen.
Yoohyun goes and sits next to him quietly, watching him try and fail to beat Yerim with inscrutable eyes.
He is trying on some of the clothes Yoohyun has insisted on buying him when it happens.
He makes the mistake of looking at the price tag of one of the new shirts Yoohyun has insisted on gifting him. It is so outrageously expensive just looking at the price tag is enough to give him anxiety.
"I can't wear this!" He protests, mouth feeling like it’s full of cotton.
"Does hyung not like this shirt?" Yoohyun asks. "I'll buy some other ones then."
"No!" He feels his hands start to shake.
That singular shirt was probably enough to pay for his entire rent. Another one would probably pay for groceries and other expenses. Throw in a belt or some other thing of the kind and there's his savings, plus a fair amount of fun money left over that he can only dream of.
"Hyung?" Yoohyun asks, seemingly noticing that something is wrong. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." He rasps, throwing thrusting the shirt at Yoohyun. "Just...just...take the shirt."
"Hyung?" Yoohyun's voice sound much more alarmed now as he throws the supremely expensive shirt on the ground and rushes towards Yoojin. "Hyung are you okay?"
He nods even though he feels his lung constrict with each breath as he struggles to breath in and breath out slowly.
He is no stranger to such financially induced panic attacks, but this one had taken him so much by surprise that he hadn't had time to run away somewhere more private where Yoohyun wouldn't be able to see him.
"I'm fine." He breathes in sharply as Yoohyun carefully puts his arm around him.
"It's okay hyung." He tells him in a soothing tone of voice. "I'm here."
The thought is both comforting and not. It's humiliating, having this weird mental breakdown where his little brother can see him, but it is also comforting. He's never had anybody there before, Yoohyun or otherwise.
Yoojin nods, and takes another couple of deep breaths, shaky, clammy hands clutching Yoohyun's shoulder.
Finally, he starts to calm down, his breathing evening out and his heartbeat slowing down to something approaching normal.
"I'm okay." He says, trying to shrug Yoohyun's arm of but it might as well be made of steel for how much he can budge it. "Yoohyun-ah?"
"Does hyung often have panic attacks like this?"
"No." He lies. But Yoohyun's answering stare tells him that he doesn't believe him the way his younger self would have. "Only a few times." He amends.
"How many times is 'a few times'?"
"Well it's not like I counted." He says trying to lighten the mood. Instead Yoohyun frowns again.
"What upset hyung this time?" He asks. "Was it the shirt?" He turns to look at the shirt with the same vitriol usually reserved for one's sworn nemesis.
"It was nothing." He feels a little ashamed now that the attack has passed. Who gets a panic attack because the shirt they were gifted was too nice?
"It's not nothing. Hyung was upset." Yoohyun insists.
"I just...that shirt was really expensive. It's...That's enough to cover our rent for a month and I...I just...I can't..." He feels the beginning of another panic attack but when he tries to dislodge Yoohyun's arm so he can go have his second breakdown in private Yoohyun's arm tightens around him, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to stay firmly around him.
Yoohyun frowns.
"I'm sorry." Yoojin says, forcibly pushing the panicky feeling in his chest down. "I-"
"Why is hyung sorry?" Yoohyun asks. "I'm the one who made him upset."
"You didn't make me upset." He protests, leaning his head slightly against Yoohyun's shoulder, finding the solid warmth of it strangely soothing. "I'm okay. I was just being silly for a second."
"You weren't." Yoohyun insists. "Hyung has always had to worry about money and expenses so that I never would. And yet I was stupid enough to upset him by being inconsiderate."
"You were just trying to get me nice things." He says. "It's not your fault I got upset. Even I didn't know I would get upset."
"Otherwise you would have tried to hide it from me?"
Yoojin looks at the ground sheepishly and does not answer.
“I wish hyung relied on me more. I’m not a baby anymore.”
“You’ll always be a baby to me.” Yoojin says simply. “You’re a baby to me right now even though you’re technically older than me.”
Yoohyun nods, resigned.
“I know. I’m still going to try though.” He gets up, gently hefting Yoojin up with him.
"Come on hyung. Let's get you some water."
Yoojin nods, sparing one last glance at the abandonned shirt before he follows Yoohyun out the door.
"I'm glad I was finally able to meet up with Yoojin-ssi." The nice man from the hospital room, Yoo Myeongwoo, says to him. "I have been worried. It's good to see you in good health."
"Thank you." Yoojin responds. He knows that Yoo Myeongwoo has only been allowed inside the veritable fortress he is imprisoned in because Yoohyun feels bad about staunchly refusing to let him outside.
"I trust Han Yoojin-ssi has been well?"
"I would be better if I was allowed outside." He grumbles.
Yoo Myeongwoo smiles apologetically.
"I'm very sorry." He says. "I'm afraid Yoohyun-ssi has become rather overprotective since the incident."
"Is he always like this?" Yoojin asks, curious.
"Yes." Myeongwoo admits. "But usually he's more toned down. I think he's feeling a touch over protective because of Han Yoojin-ssi's current situation."
"It's a little funny." He chuckles. "Even my parents weren't this overprotective of me."
Yoo Myeongwoo does not laugh.
"No. I assume they weren't."
Yoojin does not reply for a moment, staring at the steam wafting from his cup of tea.
"I miss them." He admits. "I know it's weird because they were never even around to begin with but I guess I always hoped that one day they'd come back and everything would be okay again."
"I'm sorry for your loss." Yoo Myeongwoo says.
"You know," Yoojin replies after a while. "My parents have been dead for about half a year now and you're the first person to ever tell me that." He laughs but there is no humour in it.
Yoo Myeongwoo's face is pinched in an unhappy frown.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be." He waves off the apology. "It's not your fault."
"Does the guild master, I mean Han Yoohyun-ssi-"
"Yoohyun-ah has never really cared for our parents." Yoojin admits. "I think he resents them for being away so often, and I mean I don't blame him. But I just...I just feel so lonely grieving them." He whispers. "And I've been trying so hard to be strong for him but sometimes it feels like I'm the only one struggling."
He doesn't know why all of this comes pouring out fo him all of a sudden. Perhaps it is the novelty of having an adult to confide in that has him spilling thoughts that weren't even fully formed in his mind.
"I'm being unfair to him." He shakes his head. "Yoohyun is just grieving differently than I is all. It's not fair of me to ask him to grieve in a certain way just to make me feel better."
"Han Yoojin-ssi has been through a lot." Yoo Myeongwoo replies instead.
"You don't have to be so formal with me all the time. There's no need for honorifics, I am younger than you."
Yoo Myeongwoo smiles.
"Very well then Yoojin. You don't have to use honorifics with me either if you don't want."
"What would you want me to call you then?"
"I would tell you to call me 'hyung' but I fear too much for my life to do such a thing."
Yoojin laughs.
"I'm sure Yoohyun wouldn't mind."
"No he would." He nods very seriously. "He definitely would."
"Well I suppose I can call you Myeongwoo then."
"I would like that."
"So tell me Myeongwoo, there's something I've been meaning to ask."
"Of course." Myeongwoo says, face suddenly serious.
"Do I grow up to be taller than this?"
Myeongwoo laughs.
"Yes." He answers. "You do.”
"Am I taller than Yoohyun?"
"I'm afraid not." He answers, still laughing.
"Dammit."
The next question feels a little more raw, a little more vulnerable, but still he feels like he has to ask.
"What do I do here? Do I have a job?"
"You do." He answers. "You're in charge of raising some beast mounts for the big guilds and their hunters to help them with dungeon raids."
"I know what all of those words mean individually."
Myeongwoo smiles softly.
"You're very important in the future." He says. "Your skills are highly sought after and people pay you in the millions for a chance at even working with you."
"Oh." He feels a knot in his chest he hadn't even known was there start to ease.
It feels good to know that he's not just some freeloader, leeching off of his baby brother's generosity. Yoo Myeongwoo is definitely exaggerating a little bit to make him feel better. After all, how could a high school drop out ever grow up to be the kind of highly revered person Myeongwoo was describing? Still, it’s nice to know that he’s at least doing something.
“Does that answer satisfy you?”
“It does thank you.”
He sits for a moment in awkward silence. Suddenly he feels his age, his real age, hit him as he awkwardly fiddles with his mug. What did people usually do when their friends came over? He’d never had a friend close enough to invite home to just hang out with.
“Do you…do you want to play video games?” He asks, unsure.
It seems like a safe bet. Teenage boys played video games right? At least that’s what Yerim said and she would know.
Myeongwoo smiles.
“I would love to!”
They play a couple of rounds of video games before Myeongwoo is forced to leave by Yoohyun who rushes him out the door saying that Yoojin needed to rest and that he was ‘a potential security hazard’.
“There was no need to be so rude Yoohyun-ah.”
“Hyung was getting tired.” He says defensively.
He sighs but can’t find it in him to refute him. He is pretty tired after all.
“Ah Yoohyun-ah what am I going to do with you?” He asks, feeling incredibly fond.
“Be my brother forever?”
“You idiot.” He pinches his cheek, smiling. “That was already a given.”
The next day, Yoojin wakes up in his adult body to his delight.
Finally, he thinks, I can go outside! Oh how he's missed seeing the sky.
He quickly gets dressed and makes his way to the kitchen where Yoohyun is already having breakfast.
"Hyung!" He looks up surprised when he sees him. "You're back!"
"I sure am!" He says, whistling a little tune as he makes himself a coffee.
"You..." Yoohyun looks at him, odd feeling in his eyes. "Do you remember what happened?"
He nods, sitting down next to him and putting a supportive hand on his shoulder, squeezing.
"That must have been difficult for you." He says. "I'm sorry."
"Why is hyung sorry?" He laughs but there is no humour in it. "I was the one who was unable to take care of hyung properly this whole time."
"What are you talking about?" He refutes.
"I wasn't able to make hyung happy, or give him anything he wants."
"Ridiculous. The video games were a nice idea. I hadn't ever played one before you know?"
"I know." He says, sounding tired.
"But did you have to go so overboard?" He complains. "You could have at least let me outside to breath some fresh air."
"I really couldn't. Sung Hyunjae has been standing outside this building and refusing to leave until he sees you."
"What?!" He runs to the window and looks out only to see Sung Hyunjae standing in his well-pressed suit, carrying a bouquet of flowers, at the foot of the building. When he notices him looking, Sung Hyunjae smiles wide and waves.
Yoojin sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and pulling the curtains shut.
"Why is he like this?" He turns to look back at his brother. "My poor Yoohyun-ah, you must be so tired after fending off Sung Hyunjae for over a week straight."
Yoohyun shakes his head.
"It wasn't a bother. If hyung wants I'll chase him off everyday forever."
"Well. There's no need to go quite that far."
Yoohyun scowls a little but says nothing.
"Anyways, I will be going outside now. No," he says when he notices Yoohyun about to protest. "don't you dare I have been stuck inside for too long. I'm back to normal now so I can deal with Sung Hyunjae just as I always have."
Yoohyun grumbles but says nothing, face still pinched in an unhappy expression.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"Nothing." Yoohyun finally answers. "I just...I'm sorry I can't be what hyung needs me to be."
"This again." He sighs. He goes over and affectionately pinches one of his cheeks. "I don't need you to be anything but happy and healthy okay?" He says affectionately.
Yoohyun nods but he still looks unhappy.
"I just wanted to help hyung."
"You're such a sweet kid." He says. "But I'm alright. Just worry about yourself alright?"
"Hyung," Yoohyun asks. "do you still get those panic attacks?"
Yoojin freezes.
"No." He lies. "I haven't had one in years."
"I see." Yoohyun says, and he cannot tell wether he bought the lie or not.
"If I ever have one again I promise to come to you for help." He lies again shamelessly. "How does that sound?"
Yoohyun nods enthusiastically.
"Alright." He presses a soft kiss to Yoohyun's forehead. "You're such a good kid Yoohyun-ah. What did I do to deserve you hm?"
Before Yoohyun can respond to that, Yoojin goes up to knock on Yerim's door before stopping half-way.
"Oh and Yoohyun?"
Yoohyun looks at him.
"I don't forgive you for leaving me alone those past few years because I was never angry at you in the first place. Alright?"
Yoohyun looks at him, unreadable emotion in his eyes, as he knocks on Yerim's door.
"Yerim I'm going out do you need something?"
"Oppa you're back!" She exclaims, throwing the door open in her excitement.
Yoojin raises an eyebrow.
"Who are you calling oppa?" Yoohyun growl, looking up from the article on his phone screen whose title clearly read "what to do when a loved one has a panic attack".
"I've thought about it," Yerim says innocently. "And I've realised that oppa isn't actually old enough to be called ahjussi yet. So I'm going to stick with 'oppa' from now on. What do you think Guild Master?" She smiles a cheeky little grin.
"How dare you?" Yoohyun leaps from his seat, so angry that there is practically smoke coming out of his ears. "You-!"
Yerim cackles as she evades him.
"Oppa if you're going to the convenience store get me a chocolate bar okay?"
"Hyung isn't your errand boy." Yoohyun protests. "And don't call him 'oppa'!"
"Children behave!" He says as he shrugs on his jacket.
"Yes hyung."
"Yes oppa."
The argument resumes the second he closes the door behind him. He sighs, thunking his head against the door, before stretching his limbs and giving poor Kin Sunghan a wave.
"Alright," he mutters, "time to see what that bastard that's parked in front of my building wants."