Peace of Mind

by SleepyMorning

Summary:

What if after breaking his staff Alastor couldn't teleport away in shadows, just hide in them? If he was watching from the rooftop and saw Adam and Charlie? If Lucifer was 1min later than canon?
He won't be able to use the girl if she's dead so he leaves his hiding place to help her, wounded and exhausted, looking all noble and altruistic as he "protected her with his life".
That's when Lucifer comes.
OR
The delulu fic where Alastor isn’t very clearly going to be the “””secret””” villain in Hazbin and I have an excuse to write 📻🍎 fluffy with minimum plot
Daily updates

Notes:

If you didn't check in the tags, I'd like to say that this is my 1st fanfic. I tried writing before but I always abandoned my works, so I never posted them. This is the first fic I managed to complete 😀
I’m just having fun with a fluffy idea that kept playing in my head until I wrote it down.
This is a very self-indulgent work, so I apologize in advance for some of the silly stuff y’all gonna see in it lol

Chapter 1: Canon the remix

Alastor's staff wasn't a part of him. Destroying it won't physically harm him, won't stop him from being able to fight, won't cut off his powers nor shadows. 

It will, however, weaken him. He made the thing with his powers, and has been siphoning more energy into it over the last seven years, accumulating excess demonic force into it since his powers were reduced.

After that show with the huge shield and now without his microphone, and weakened further by the deal he unfortunately had to accept 7 years ago, he has more or less 20% of his normal strength left. Nothing that'd normally stop him from fighting and winning. But it gave him a moment's pause, which cost him while fighting Adam.

Now reduced to just ⅕ of his power and with a gaping wound, he made the wise decision to end the broadcast while radio was, in fact, not-dead.

But being down on power and bleeding profusely, he couldn't leave the rooftop; well, he could, but the farthest he could go was one floor below, which wasn't a better place strategically speaking, and considering the battleground...

So, he called his shadow to melt into darkness and laid somewhere where he seemed to be part of the scenario, as soon as the fight calmed he would start to move away so he'd be able to heal the crater in his chest.

That was the plan until he saw Charlie fighting with the first man after the snakes' death. While her fire show of transforming into her true demon form and riding her pets to battle was charming beyond belief, the girl was clearly outclassed and outgunned. She was going to lose.

He was proven right as one of the beasts was almost immediately slain, he readied himself to intervene as Vaggie was thrown down along with it.

When Charlie got backhanded into the hotel's luminous sign he made his way to her shadow. Not a moment too soon as Adam landed and started mocking her for "risking her life for sinners".

That bleeding heart of hers is very useful to me; refrain from deriding it would you, prick.

Soon after thinking this, Alastor was surprised as the dear girl managed to stab the first dick in the shoulder, but good as that shot was, it wouldn't be enough. Her girlfriend was taking too long to reach the rooftop and she was being followed, not helpful in the long run.

"This fight was cute now, but it's time to die. With the rest of them." Said Adam as he overwhelmed and strangled her. As Vaggie was intercepted by the angel tailing her.

Charlie was about to lose to Adam, she would be killed. He didn't want her dead.

It's just that, if she was killed she'd be unusable in Alastor's plans. He wouldn't be able to cash in his favor, he wouldn't be able to be free from his cursed Contract.

That would not stand.

He hoped that by now Lucifer would have spawned, late as he always was to help his daughter, he didn't imagine he would be a no-show at such a pivotal moment.

With no more time to waste waiting for someone-  anyone - else to take the role of white knight, Alastor sprung from Charlie's shadow, horns grown and sharp to headbutt the first man away from the girl, with enough strength that Adam was launched into the sunroof of the hotel, breaking it with his weight and gaining them time as the Winner fell below. 

Alastor grabbed the girl and helped her stand before positioning her behind him to better protect her as he turned to the broken glass, ears high at attention, waiting for the prick to fly back, if he was going to ruin the rest of his reputation by playing hero, he would at least make sure to get extra points for performance. 

"Alastor! You're alive!" Charlie exclaimed happily before she saw the blood dripping from her partner hotelier. "You're hurt!"

"My dear, I'm almost offended you thought that moron could stop the Radio Demon! I just- needed a moment after being caught... off guard." He decided on admitting before focusing as he heard Adam panting while coming back up, not noticing Charlie startling from hearing his voice without the radio static.

"Ok, seriously how many times do I have to kill you, freak?!" He complained as he dragged himself out of the hole, holding onto the new punctures the deer horns made on his chest.

"Oh, only once. You just have to actually manage it instead of boring me into a nap!" Alastor taunted, bloody smile growing and sharpening even as he was aware that in his current state there wasn't much chance of him winning without some pretty, good external help.

He held his wound closed as best as he could with one hand as the other made sure Charlie was still safe behind him, growing his body into more of his true form for good measure to make himself into a meat shield. Again, if he was going to be forced into performing the protector, he'd be the best at it.

Unleashing his shadow tendrils he started anew the dance of attacks with Adam, trying to keep conscious of where Charlie was, so the prick won't aim for her.

Weakened as he was he ended more times playing keep away, just tossing Adam as far as he could, looking for a way to turn the battle without throwing Charlie's trident (the only angelic weapon they currently have) nor allowing Adam too close to himself (way too close to Charlie).

After a good minute of this game, Adam seemed to get tired of it "Stop playing around, you hentai fucker!" He screamed, blasting divine energy at them.

Concentrating on the attacks, Alastor didn't notice as Charlie saw her girlfriend in trouble and moved in her direction.

He certainly noticed her absence when he moved to grab her and leave the roof that was about to be blown apart, only to see her falling as the ray of light opened a canyon in the middle of the hotel.

Alastor wasn't aware he even had protective instincts to do what he did next.

He leaped after her.

Grabbing her with one of his enlarged hands, he used his tentacles to try and hold to the walls, but the destroyed building kept crumbling. He hugged her to his bleeding chest as he shrunk, hoping his smaller size and weight would mean one of the handholds wouldn't collapse but the whole structure was compromised. They were still falling fast.

He was just bracing himself for the most painful fall he'll ever experience in life and death (holding Charlie on top of him so he'll take the brunt of the impact- where did those protective instincts come from, really?) when they, miracle of all miracles, stop plunging down. 

"I got ya'."

Or more accurately, Lucifer finally arrived and stopped their dive, carrying Alastor like a bride as he held Charlie to his front.

Honestly, there's a limit to how late a parent should show to their children's parties. 

"Really?" Lucifer scoffed "You're gonna complain after I saved your life from falling to a bloody splatter?" The fallen angel deadpanned.

"And if I wasn't holding your daughter, would you have bothered to stop me from becoming said blood splatter?" The deer demon countered, he might be delirious enough from blood loss to speak his thoughts without noticing but there's no way he'll lose an argument against Lucifer of all people.

Lucifer's silence and very pointed avoidance of his daughter's eyes answered him pretty well.

"Look out!" Charlie interrupted their bickering as Adam attacked again, still aiming for the princess of hell.

The strike was stopped, not by Lucifer but by Charlie herself, her arm growing and shining with inner fire as she held the angel's powers back with her bare hand. "W-wait, whadefuck?!?"

His answer was Lucifer's backhanding him to the ground for daring to once again try to harm his daughter, against hell's deal with heaven. "You came at me and my daughter. Don't forget, you're in My House, bitch!" Said the Fallen after lowering Alastor and Charlie gently before pummeling the first man.

Just as he prepared a final attack that would surely end the first prick, he was stopped by his daughter. "Woah, dad- he's had enough."

The king's punishment had broken the angel's mask and face, he was bleeding from his nose and other minor injuries and almost unconscious on the crater that formed from his encounter with the floor, his clothes stained gold from Charlie's and Alastor's earlier jabs. "How's mercy taste, you little  bitch ?" Lucifer jeered as he turned to his little girl and Alastor, who still had perfect posture even with the admittedly horribly deep and still oozing wound on his chest, Lucifer had to give him credit, that looked like it hurt.

"No, you don't get to end this!" Said Adam, apparently still able to move after making an impressive impersonation of a dead body.

"I'm fucking Adam!" He whined while crawling from the hole "I'm The fucking Man,  and you're just some- fucken clowns or something! I started everything on Earth!" He continued his monologue "All of mankind came from these Fucken Nuts!! You all should be worshiping Me! You ungrateful. Disgusting. Fucking. Losers -GAHH"

The man who was unironically telling people to worship dizznuts cut off his spiel as he was stabbed clear through his chest, this time by Niffty. Who then proceeded to stab him at least another twenty times.

They watched, partly horrified, partly amused, partly joyful and glad as the angels' General was stopped for good. "Blood! BLOOD! MUAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"NOOO! ADAM STAY WITH ME, SIR!" Lute screamed at his body as Niffty skipped happily away.

"It's over." Said Charlie. 

"Take your little friends and GO HOME !" Lucifer continued for her "Please." He finished smugly.

Angry, defeated and mourning, the second in command of the angels ordered "Retreat! All, exorcists- Fall Back!" The army left the way they came, through the portal to heaven, the Extermination was cut short for the first time.

"Sooo- who's up for pancakes?" 

Chapter 2: I don't think I want healing and Charlie's delulu

"Sooo- who's up for pancakes?" Lucifer asked, not enjoying how silent they were, they just won! There should be screams of celebration!

"I think we should do a health check first, dad. Especially you, Alastor, you're still bleeding a lot." Charlie interrupted the Fallen, Alastor was clearly already running on fumes when he hushed back to save her, which was already amazing because with his reputation she'd have guessed he'd leave them if it got too close to actually threatening his life.

Instead, even when he couldn't fight from his injuries he stayed. And when he saw her in danger he jumped to save her.

He came for her. Helped her. Bodily protected her multiple times.

And now it was her turn to help him! She wouldn’t let him stubbornly say he's fine, or get forced to retreat by him acting extra creepy to freak everyone into leaving him alone, she's going to- Why is the sinner not responding?

"Alastor?" She asked the hotelier, only then noticing how his eyes looked like buttons, but where usually they're bright and moved as if tuning to radio stations, they were dark and statically pointing to the far right, an old radio turned off.

She moved to touch his arm to call his attention "Are you-" as soon as her finger touched his shoulder, the deer demon started falling back, rigid like a tree that had its base sawed. She yelped and quickly went to grab him, then lowering him gently to the floor "Dad! Help!!"

— The fuck? Was he unconscious this whole time?? Did the fucker faint standing up?? The fuck is he fucking made of??? > Vox, from his viewing room —

Lucifer didn't trust the radio demon. He was an asshole who did his best to be as insulting and combative and contrary as he could as soon as he saw the king. He has a reputation of being malevolent, murderery and manipulative. Nobody knew what he was truly after.

And the asshole tried to insert himself as Charlie's parental figure right in front of her actual father.

Did he mention that he's an asshole?

However, he also has been helping his daughter for more than half a year with her dream. And from what he could see as he was approaching the battle, he was doing his very best to keep his Charlie safe.

Which was nothing short of his obligation to keep the princess safe but - Adam might be a joke when compared to archangels but he was a ten thousand year old soul, he was powerful. Alastor bit more than he could chew but instead of spitting it, he continued to choke on it to keep his little girl safe.

Lucifer can respect that.

And he has to give Alastor credit where credit is due, the wound almost cut him in half, his ribs were broken open, his lungs were damaged and if the cut had been half an inch to the right his heart wouldn't be beating anymore. All of that and he had still been standing in front of Charlie, still jumped after her when she fell, still was going to use his body to soften her landing. 

So, he guesses he has to pay him back properly and heal him now. Alastor is still an asshole and Lucifer just knows he won't even get a "thank you" when he wakes up, but fair's fair.

The Fallen archangel kneels on the floor beside his daughter and lowers his hands around the wound of the deer demon, focusing his energy to first cure the lungs, as Alastor was starting to drown in his own blood.

The organ soon knitted itself back together as the demon coughed wetly, painfully expelling the coagulated blood with some help from Lucifer's magic.

The ribs were next, cracking back into place with loud, terrifying snaps before the bones fused properly. 

Finally, meat and then skin grew back, forming a giant scar on the chest of the radio demon.

"Wow, I'm kinda impressed he didn't scream in agony, this whole process should've been like, unbearably painful." Lucifer commented, he was being fast and efficient instead of gentle and with the demon being unconscious he shouldn't have been able to hold back. 

Done with him, Lucifer stands up while dusting his hands, turning to Charlie's other friends "So, anybody else need healing?"

If Lucifer's healing was half as painful as it looked, it's better to just let their bodies do the work  was the collective thought of everyone but Charlie, who was mostly distracted thinking about Alastor. 

— Fuck, he's fully healed, we'll have to be cautious since he won't be down after this battle. Hell might be in shambles but if Alastor gets in our way- > Vox, again —

"What's a favor between friends?"

Maybe he really saw them as friends, he was obviously laying it thick when he said it to make her accept the Deal, but maybe that's just because he's not used to saying it and meaning it?

The Deal was pretty simple, "A Favor that'll harm no one." That includes even Charlie herself as one to not be harmed- and on his side of the Deal, all he had to do was share what he knew.

He could've just said that he knew angels could be killed and left them to "try to climb to Heaven only to fail miserably." Like he said he would when he joined their redemption endeavors.

But instead, he continued to help her, he listened as she complained about her relationship problems and brought her to the one Overlord that was apparently owner of a readymade army that wouldn't ask for any payment other than being able to eat the corpses of their enemies (which, ew, but it meant there wasn't any stipulations to asking Rosie and her cannibals this huge favor) and also just so happened to give great love advice?

If the goal was just to get the army, he could have gone alone, he surely would've been able to convince the cannibals without her just by mentioning angel meat. Did he bring her along just to set her up with Rosie?

I care for you just like a daughter I spawned~

He said that to mess with her dad, she knew- knows that her partner and parent mixed like cold water and hot oil. But maybe he started truly meaning it?

Or maybe he meant it even then? He had already been helping her and the hotel for a while by then. He made many dark humor jokes and said disturbing things just to see their reactions but he never moved to harm them. And, honestly, some of his worst "dad jokes" reminded her so vividly of her father she wondered once or twice if he wasn't Lucifer more cleverly disguised just to get close to her.

He even made two- Two  video commercials for them! He hated anything video and TV (another thing he shared with her dad) but he did it for them.

He made a bunch of radio ads too; pretty good ones! No threats or double meanings just "Come to Hazbin Hotel! Redemption might be awaiting you! Free lodging and food to willing participants attempting to reach the pearly gates after failing miserably to do so when alive! This is an honest advertisement!" And ok, the commercials did sound like traps but she was starting to suspect that no matter what Alastor tried to say, it would sound menacing so that kind of wasn't his fault. 

Maybe he offered the Deal because he knew they wouldn't trust him on his word alone? If he had just come forward saying that angels are actually killable, would she have believed him?

... No, probably she'd think he was setting her up. The Deal meant he had to be sure of what he was saying being the truth, she didn't have to question the veracity of what he said, saving a ton of time on explanations and fact checking.

Wait- could it be that when he joined the hotel he actually meant it when he said he wanted to help, but he knew they wouldn't believe him based on his reputation so he just made up wanting to watch them fail?!

He got them Niffty, who was a big help with the cleaning and cooking. Vaggie was great and she was doing her best to realize Charlie's vision but with Niffty doing those chores her schedule was free to help Charlie with her planning of lessons.

And Husk settled perfectly in his role; never overindulging anyone's bad habits and listening so well he could be called a certified therapist. Hell, Angel's progress was due mostly to Husk's incentive and sometimes his mere presence!

That's not even mentioning what Alastor did for the hotel. The administrative things that overwhelmed Charlie, he did without even struggling, and he did them without being asked- one night he just knocked on her office door as she worked late, grabbed half of the pile of overdue bureaucratic papers and finished them before she did a third of "her half", proceeded to do what she hasn't done and offered to keep doing anything she had difficulty with, patted her head, wished her a good night and left. Again, fully unprompted. And this started before her dad came, so this can't be attributed to his "want to mess with Lucifer" behavior. 

Now she's not really sure she could even run her hotel without Alastor, she wasn't exactly managing the hotel's care and her activity arrangement before he came along, would Husk and Niffty even stay if Alastor were to leave?

Even now with her father's help- oh. Ohhh.

Her father. Who she told about her hotel and ideas multiple times but who never once showed true interest in aiding her before his parental post was put to question by Alastor.

Alastor, who has never before or after shown such instant beef against someone he didn't have history with, just so happened to push all of Lucifer's buttons and trigger his competitive side into helping her, even if just for his pride?

Was it on purpose? Did Alastor hear some of her talks with Vaggie about her dad? Did he manipulate her dad into being more present and supportive?

... Did he do it for her?

Maybe, just maybe, he was manipulative and a liar but sometimes he liked to do it for others' benefits?

Not to say that he didn't deserve his place in hell, he was violent and his broadcasts were legendarily terrifying, but now that she thinks of it she hasn't heard about Al restarting his radio show of screams of the damned after he joined her hotel. 

It almost sounds like he had become better and nicer since he joined the hotel... Could he be sneakily trying his own redemption??

Oh. My. GOODNESS! He was there for almost all of her lessons! He didn't participate but he watched them!! He was totally trying to redeem himself on the down low! He might not be fully engaged but neither was Angel and they were still doing great progress!

This. Is. Great!

She wants to SCREAM, this is Huge. If she can convince Alastor to take the lessons more seriously and that he doesn't need to worry about joining them- if she could redeem THE Radio Demon-!

Wait- no no no. Deep breaths Charlie, slow down. Al is clearly shy about wanting to change his ways, you need to go at his pace or he might get spooked away.

Encouraging, not forceful.

You can do it girl, Alastor is doing his part in his own way, all you have to do is be supportive and take his hand when he's ready to admit that he wants to turn the page and be absolved of his sins, too!

Chapter 3: Fixing the radio antenna, the radio is on

Summary:

You can do it girl, Alastor is doing his part in his own way, all you have to do is be supportive and take his hand when he's ready to admit that he wants to turn the page and be absolved of his sins, too!

"Whelp! He's healthy as a horse, let's wake him up, shall we?" Was the first thing Charlie heard when she came down from her daydream of the rainbows that had been hiding in Alastor's pure heart.

"Wait!" She stopped Lucifer "I think Al deserves a little rest, he was holding back most of Adam's forces by himself and then he had to keep me safe even while so hurt, can't we let him sleep a bit?" I can't let Al continue to antagonize my dad just to get us closer, that's too unfair to him! I bet they would be great friends if Al stopped this silly plan, they're super alike! She reasoned to herself. 

"Princess, not to be rude, but like, how restful can it really be to sleep on the ground..?" Angel Dust very reasonably pointed out.

But she needed more time to plan how to tell Alastor that he didn't need to pretend to hate her dad, so- "Mmm, you're right. Dad, can you make a couple blankets and a pillow?" Having her dad magic-up the comforters might also endear him a little to Alastor. Maybe.

Lucifer sighed, but dutifully levitated Alastor to conjure a soft blanket for him to lay on, then made a duck shaped pillow and duck themed cover, carefully lowering the demon on the nest before looking at his daughter for anymore demands on the treatment of the asshole he knows will not thank him for his efforts later.

"Thanks! Now, let's-" Before she could move on from this matter, she heard Husk yelp as Alastor's shadow left the nest from beneath him, calling her attention to it "I thought his shadow was part of him? Is he awake?"

The shadow shook its head, apparently answering her.

"Oh." Charlie kneeled on the ground, feeling awkward talking to a 2D impression on the floor while standing up "Did you need anything, maybe? Do you have a name? I feel bad calling you Alastor's shadow if you're actually your own person. "

The shade stared at the princess, clearly judging her in some way. Charlie hoped she'd pass the test, she felt that if she could make Alastor's shadow trust her, then it would be way easier to convince Al to admit he wanted to be redeemed!

After a while it made a decision, and reached inside of its darkness to bring out Alastor's microphone, broken in half. 

"Oh, no! When did it break?? Is it important?? What am I saying of course it's important, I never see Al without it! Can we fix it? Dad, can you fix it??" Charlie nervously rambled, hands almost touching the staff before receding, unsure if she would damage it further. 

Meanwhile, the others (save Niffty, who was still frenetically stabbing angel corpses) all gazed full of suspicion at the dark specter. None of them knew the radio demon's shadow was alive, not even Husk. They weren't sure that this wasn't a new play by the deer sinner.

"Dad?" Charlie repeated, wondering if the staff was even more vital than she imagined, surely he could fix it?

Lucifer was divided; on the one hand, he wanted to do as his little girl asked, on the other he could recognize a focus when he saw one, he wasn't sure he wanted to fix and give back the asshole's full power. Also, he's not sure they should trust a living shade.

They looked back down when they heard scratching noises. Umbre. The silhouette wrote on the ground, also responding to the princess' question of its name.

"Umbre, nice to officially meet you! I mean, we already lived together but I didn't know you were a person, was that rude? I'm sorry, did I ever step on you? I didn't-" she stopped talking as Umbre lightly tapped her with the butt of Alastor's broken staff, calling her attention to the fact she was rambling again. "Sorry." She finished sheepishly. 

The specter shook its head, clearly amused. Charlie suddenly noticed that it's smile is less forced than Alastor's, perhaps more genuine? She took the microphone from Umbre as it-he-they (she made a mental note to ask later, but decided to use they/them for now) offered the pieces to her, then she looked at her father, silently asking once more if he could do something about it with her eyes.

Lucifer's final walls crumbled under his Charlie's puppy eyes and he sighed, extending his hand to hold the staff so he could transfer enough power to fix it.

However, Husk interrupted him before he could start the process "Your Majesty, you sure? As one of Alastor's contracted I can guarantee he doesn't need the power of the focus, and if you fix it there'll be your residual magic in it- it'll be even stronger."

Charlie then discovered another thing about Umbre; differently from Alastor, they would frown. The shadow was looking at Husk with somewhat of a disappointed anger, clearly disapproving of what he was saying or maybe the tone he took when speaking about the Overlord.

Lucifer hesitated again, but Charlie wanted to give the staff as a gift to Al when he woke, she wanted to give him a true chance to prove himself. Looking back, aside from being creepy, all of Alastor's actions were helpful even as everyone kept side-eyeing him, and actions are supposed to speak louder than words as Rosie said.

"Dad," Charlie held onto Lucifer's arm, continuing when he looked at her "I trust him, I'm positive giving him his staff back is going to be a good decision."

The king saw his daughter's conviction and was determined to follow it, especially as he recalled the efforts of the demon to keep the princess safe, maybe he can trust the demon to not hurt his Charlie. He'll keep an eye on things from now on anyways.

Mind made, he focused on the fragmented cane, golden magic swirled beautifully and fused the parts whole again- the middle now golden with a curling pattern where it was once snapped. He knows the asshole won't thank him for it, but the thing is now sturdier and since he decided to trust the sinner he even added a small charge to it, too. Now Alastor won't have to start from scratch on its power level.

He gave the stick back to Charlie, who looked on with literal stars at his work (yes, he truly did a great job, it looks way better now that he added a little color to it, not that the asshole will appreciate it) before giving it to the shade (what was its name again? Oh, it's still written on the floor "Umbre") who absorbed the microphone, probably for safekeeping. 

Charlie's friends look somewhat skeptical, but he isn't about to pick their side over his daughter's. 

Umbre then nodded to both the king and princess, silently thanking them before moving back under the blanket, presumably to Alastor's true shadow.

Charlie clapped once and stood up grinning "Glad we got that done, all that's left is-" As Charlie turned to the hotel she saw the destruction this last extermination caused, all of her happiness from her accomplishments dulled as her hard work lay crumbled, as dazzle lay dead. As Sir Pentious very ashes were blown in the wind.

"...Everything." She finished despondent. 

((The Finale W/O foreshadowing, Al is napping in the bg as they rebuild and Husk isn't smiling thinking he's free. Al wakes and joins the song at the same time as canon))

Construction noises woke Alastor up, feeling slightly off. There wasn't any pain in his chest.

Not to say that he had chronic pain, but he remembered pretty vividly that he was this close to death's doors when he locked all his joints to be able to still stand as Lucifer quickly lowered him and Charlie before flying at Adam (there is absolutely no way he would kneel nor keel over in front of Lucifer).

So how come he was laying down, with a duck pillow, comfortable in a soft blanket, smelling of sweet apples?

Nevermind, this probably means this was Lucifer's doing, but why?

As he wondered, Umbre came out of his shadow carrying his microphone- which was surprisingly in one piece, also even more shockingly, as he grabbed it he could feel it was charged with basically the same amount of energy he had added to it in the last 7 years.

It was a jarring gold in the middle, further proof that Lucifer was favoring him for whatever reason...

Could his performance of keeping Charlie safe already be bearing fruit? He did put a lot of effort into protecting Charlie (to get on her good graces, not because he cared), and it did occur to him that Lucifer would also probably appreciate his shot at guarding the princess, but this was a bit too much, too quickly.

Channeling some power to Umbre, he quietly asked to view his memories of what happened while he... recharged. 

“No need to lie when it's just us. You were fully fainted, Alastor. Eyes off and everything.”  Umbre communicated smugly through their link.

“I miss the time when I couldn't hear your voice.” Alastor grumbled, his dark friend too fond of making fun of his misfortunes.

“Why, you just asked me to show what happened and already you're telling me to quiet down, where is your consistency, hmm?”  Was the teasing response to his grumpy complaint “I'm glad you are well.”  Umbre finished more tenderly.

Alastor sighed “Don't go sappy on me now.” He playfully answered before watching how Adam was killed, how Charlie stared at him starry eyed then asked her father to let him sleep, how Lucifer helped him on his daughter's demands but also didn't seem to be doing so too grudgingly, and how Husker objected to him receiving his power and focus back.

Narrowing his eyes, the Overlord couldn't help but to think the same thought he has been having reason to revisit again and again since his return from his seven year "sabbatical". Husk is getting too bold.  

He wasn't just dreaming and planning of managing to find a loophole and to be free (Alastor never begrudged his contractees this desire, he's very aware that desire for freedom simply is the common part of the human soul, hells he even made a hidden loophole so the other two souls he put into one of his Contracts could “run away” after they were no longer useful- they were weak and just planned to flee after, if there was even a whisper of vengeance against him in their movements he would have ended them, of course.)

But Husk isn't acting like he found the way to free himself. He's acting like he's already free. Like he isn't Alastor property. Like he has no debt to pay.

That'll not do; while Husk was the most harmless of the Overlords he subdued, this behavior will not be tolerated, not even from that amusing drunkard. It seems he needs to plan a lesson for his cat.

That can wait, however. First he needs to have a talk with Charlie, while it seems that his improvised heroic show worked even better than expected, he needed to know where it left their relationship at.

If he got her trust, the better for him, but he can't make assumptions based just on the princess's kindness. 

Standing up, he snapped his fingers to exchange his clothes to ones not torn and bloodied, another snap and he held the pillow and blankets now neatly folded. They were merely conjured, but he liked to be tidy, whenever he could be.

He gave the duck themed objects to Umbre, to avoid being seen holding such colorful, cutesy things. “You just don't want to admit you liked their texture and smell and that you found the ducklings charming and that you want to make sure no one else will take them so you can use them later to sleep.”  The specter contradicted his thoughts like he could read them, laughing as he dutifully moved the soft materials into his body.

Alastor's eyebrow and ear twitched as he moved in the direction of the hotel where he could hear the others singing while rebuilding, determined to ignore the lying dark shape as it mimicked guffawing when he shut off the link so he wouldn’t have to listen to him anymore. 

Chapter 4: Alastor is a surprisingly good teacher

Summary:

Alastor's eyebrow and ear twitched as he moved in the direction of the hotel where he could hear the others singing while rebuilding, determined to ignore the lying dark shape as it mimicked guffawing when he shut off the link so he wouldn’t have to listen to him anymore.

Notes:

Fair warning: I made up some rules for society in hell and I didn't watch helluva boss yet, so if it's very inconsistent to actual canon, I'm sorry but I'm not changing it lol

Hope reignited, hotel rebuilt bigger, better and with the proper mementos for her fallen family, Charlie feels ready to begin again. Lucifer's magic made the process much faster, it took just some hours to get this all in place.

Going back in she turned to Alastor, who came along to fix their project as soon as he was up (another point to her theory that he’s been actually trying!) "As you were sleeping Al, I'll explain what we did. Everyone's room will be decorated as they want, but we left the kitchen bare- I asked Niffty what she wanted since she's the one who cooks, but she said you're the one with preferences in kitchenware. So- "she said grandly as they reached the kitchen "The floor is yours! Do whatever you want here, if you need to conjure something and can't for whatever reason, ask my dad to make it for you!" She finished nudging her father, who'd followed from a minor distance to keep an eye on the radio demon. He knew if he got too close and "started" a fight his daughter would be disappointed; she asked him to get along with the sinner and he didn't want to add to her stress after just managing to get her happy again. 

The broadcaster looked around, Lucifer wasn't good at differentiating between his perpetual smiles but somehow his expression seemed pleasantly surprised. Maybe he was flattered they’d let him decorate it?

"Thank you, Charlie dear. I do have many preferences; most of my recipes taste better with the proper appliance, and, well, I admit to hating how complicated the all-automatic things are to use." Charlie seemed ecstatic at Alastor, he assumes it was because he disclosed a weakness or whatever it is she thinks is more likely to land him in heaven. "But before I start making a proper kitchen, could we have a word, my dear, alone?" He asked before she could turn this into a trust exercise between him and the king.

"Of course!" She moved away from her father, still in his line of sight, but far enough that she deemed Lucifer won't be able to hear and spoke "Actually, I'm glad you wanted to talk, because I wanted to speak to you real quickly too!"

"Oh? Then by all means, dames first." The deer's ears stood at attention as he looked curiously.

"So, I noticed what you've been doing all this time." Charlie said, smiling sneakily.

Oh? By her expression, he's been doing something very good. What could it be?

"And I'm super thankful and your actions have made me and dad so much closer than we were in years- I don't remember us ever being this close- but I wanted to say you don't have to force yourself to antagonize my dad just to make him competitive and spend time with me." She continued, holding on his sleeve, being mindful to not touch him directly. 

Meanwhile, Alastor's mind blanked for a moment before hushing with emotions: elation and relief, knowing his tiring experience acting like an altruistic hero worked so well. Then confusion, what kind of mental gymnastics did she do to reach ‘acted against Lucifer to trick him into being more fatherly’? Finally he felt exasperation that she thought the reason her father bothered him was that he was pretending to dislike him in some convoluted plan to convince that- that sperm donor to start actually acting like a real parent.

"I can take it from here, Al. If you want, you can try to be his friend from now on! We talked and he promised to let bygones be, all you have to do is be yourself and I bet you two will be like a house on fire!" Oh something will be on fire, alright.

Fucking hell. She manipulated herself so well for him. Why did she have to insist on him and Lucifer becoming friends? He recognized this was good for his plans, but it's Lucifer. Alastor debated mentally, face frozen but for the twitch in his ear.

Umbre nudged his ankle, a signal they worked to ask to open their link, so he focused to hear him. “ You know a good relationship with him will help you with Charlie. Depending on things he might be able to fix your ‘problem’ before you even have to involve her!” The shadow opined, waving to the girl when she saw him, smiling further when she waved back. “ Admit it, this kitten grew on you. She's just the type you like to befriend: useful and likable.”

Ugh . The expression on the Overlord’s eyes told the shade the radio demon agreed, even as he was annoyed. 

“You don't even deny liking Charlie? Damn this hotel really's making you soft .” The specter snickered at Alastor. 

Discretely sending a small shock at the shadow didn't quiet the dark pest, but it did bring him joy to hear the yelp in between giggles. 

He didn't want to cut off his teasing of the fallen angel (admittedly one of his biggest merriments as of late), but maybe he could frame it more friendly, like how he treats Umbre. He can already imagine Umbre’s dramatic response to no longer being the only male he treats “amicably”.

Deciding to be somewhat truthful to avoid future headaches, the Overlord (now ignoring the shadow) spoke "It wasn't exactly all pretense, Charlie. I hate bad parents, and from what I heard 'absent' is barely the word to describe his neglect. When did you say was the last time you had an actual conversation with him? When did you last see him face to face before the hotel?"

The girl deflated, and Alastor had to repress the urge to pet her head and take back what he said "It was 8 years since our last meaningful call. Mom took me to live with just her, but left a bit over 7 years ago. When we lived together he was always in his room, so I didn't see him a lot growing up... But! Sometimes when it was just me and dad, mom would come and take me away! He seemed to want to spend time with me! I don't know, maybe they were already fighting back then..." She finished teary-eyed.

It isn't often that Alastor feels guilt. Maybe this hotel was affecting him more than he thought. Sighing, he decided to try and comfort her "Very well, I guess I can attempt to befriend your father. If he doesn't just leave again and starts making an effort to be present for you."

Charlie's beaming expression proved that was the right answer to her plight, he offered her a handkerchief to dry her wet eyes as she started to ask "Well, that's what I needed to talk to you about. What did you need to tell me?"

Accidentally she answered his question of how their relationship progressed from his efforts during his fight, but he couldn't say that. Now, what to say instead?

Inadvertently catching sight of the bright gold now decorating his staff he had an idea. It'd certainly satisfy the girl to hear that he wants to extend an olive branch to the king. "My microphone." Alastor held the cane up, a claw tapping the shiny design "I assume it was fixed by Lucifer, correct?"

"Huh? Is anything wrong with it? Was it not fixed right?" Charlie worried, looking for obvious damages on its body. 

"No, it was done perfectly. He even added extra magic in it. It was..." he hummed, looking for the right word "Surprising. To find it back in one piece and charged, too."

Now appearing confused, Charlie blinked, "Oh-kay? So..?"

"I wanted... to thank His Majesty properly. Rebuilding it was a nice gesture but filling it with his own magic was, pure and simple, a kindness on his part. Merely saying 'thank you' is an empty action, I'd prefer to repay him correctly than to own him." Alastor added, unsure why the girl needed him to explain everything detailedly, he thought she'd be glad he was pointing out an action he appreciated from her father and his desire to repay in kind.

"Oh! Well that's- uh nice? I guess? But, you don't own him for it? It was a gift?" Her befuddled reply clarified what was missing in this conversation, she was more politically untrained than he'd presumed.

"We're in Hell, darling. You do understand Deals, Contracts and Exchange of Favors, right? No gift comes without strings attached, especially from someone who doesn't like you." He said trying to sound gentle, but he was stunned she could even conceptualize the idea of a free gift, being born and raised in the land of eternal fiery punishment.

"Not always! My dad wouldn't do that! And what about Rosie? She helped us, no strings attached! And I do know the difference; one is quick, one is long and the other is, uh itchy?" That explains it; she's interpreting repertoire with blind trust, no wonder she's so naively unwary. It’s also good that her golden rule seemed to be ‘Never make a Magical Agreement’, since she knows so little about them.

It illustrates how and why her fiasco on the News happened, back when he first came to know of her hotel. If she doesn't know everything is tied up, she won't know that you need to push and pull the ropes to move the puppets "Rosie's ‘strings’ were to have a buffet of angel meat, a contact of good relations with the princess of hell, a boost to her reputation and a stand to acquire more power and territory- helping stop the Extermination makes a statement about her strength, after all. On top of all that, any further conditions to that transaction would've been tied to me, as I was the one to present you to her."

Charlie frowned, confused "What? What do you mean tied to you? If we failed I-" 

Alastor gently interrupted her. “Give me a moment, dear, I’m not finished.” He waited for her to settle before continuing “While your explanation was nicely succinct, I felt it showed you don’t truly understand the 3 pillars that carry hell’s society. So I’ll try to briefly explain, and maybe it’ll make what I did with Rosie more obvious.” He then held up three fingers. “There are 3 types of magical transactions that demons can make: Deals, Contracts and Favor Exchanges.”

“Deals are quick verbal agreements that have to follow the spirit of the accord. So, if I were your prisoner and we made a Deal of ‘Free me, I’ll give you information’, you have to free me and let me go , you cannot kill me right after, and I have to give you the full information and details.”

“Contracts are long and follow the letter of what was written. If you find a loophole in the text, you may get out of it. With the same example in a Contract: ‘Free me, I’ll give you information’, I may not give you the full information, and you may kill me right after I give you what you wanted. Or as the contract didn’t stipulate dates, you may decide to keep me prisoner for years before freeing me; the time captive might convince me to give you all you want.”

“Lastly, Favors are long, verbal and affect only sinners; you and your father are not sinners, you are a hellborn and a fallen angel. So you won’t feel ‘itchy’ at all. To sinners it feels unbearable the longer they ignore their half of the transaction. If you don’t use magic to make a proper Deal, magic may stick you with a Favor. Ideally you follow the spirit of the agreement, but since favors are difficult to quantify you may enter a cycle of give and take for a long time. It may lead to long term alliances or long term feuds.”

" You , for lack of a better description, were something I promoted as being able to gain victory. Had we failed, it'd have been me who sold a bad Deal . You may be the princess but you've no obvious power, no army and no political background of note out of royalty circles. You are an unknown that I promised could deliver in a large scale fight; if you couldn't, it’d be on me. Simple as that." He said as if it was as easy a concept as 'The floor is down, the sky is up'.

"But... aren't you and Rosie friends?" He felt almost bad, she sounded like he was crushing her hopes, but she needed to start understanding the social structure sinners lived in.

"We are. Which is the reason she accepted the transaction without a formal Deal, but we did use the proper magic to get the transaction settled as such. She knew I'd repay her fairly if we'd shown a lacking performance. But as Overlords, we have many rules that were established to ensure that hell wouldn't fall to chaos and civil wars between factions. One of these rules is ' When an Overlord presents another with a Deal, any failure and consequence of said failure falls on the demon who first offered said Deal. ' You are the Deal in this case. It stops Overlords from indirectly killing or harming and absorbing another by giving a purposely bad Deal, letting them self-destruct and reaping whatever is left afterwards. It means that instead, the other Overlord can demand the first to compensate them with whatever is equal to their losses. And if they die, the other Overlords can, and usually do, demote the instigator." He found this rule very fair when he first joined their ranks.

"What would have happened had we lost?" The poor girl looked lost herself, maybe it was too much information at once? He'll try to give her small lessons on how politics work outside of eldritch, non-sinner royalty.

Chapter 5: Charlie still delulu & Lucifer heard that, it gave him crisis

Summary:

"What would have happened had we lost?" The poor girl looked lost herself, maybe it was too much information at once? He'll try to give her small lessons on how politics work outside of eldritch, non-sinner royalty.

Notes:

There's a bit of a DLC content on this chapter ;) check out my other piece in this series! :D

"Hmm. I'd probably need a short leave from the hotel; Rosie'd probably ask me to find enough souls to pay back the losses of her citizens, then work at her emporium for a while. She likes using me as a mannequin." He deduced, not too worried. He knew Rosie would forgive him even had he made the wrong call and her losses were more than gains.

His loss of reputation is the worst part of this; he's sure he saw Vox's flying camera filming him losing to Adam, protecting the princess and needing to be saved. Which all painted him as weak and Vox will use that.

"Having said all that, we still didn't cover the main reason for this discussion. What Favor should I give your father as thanks for his assistance?" Reiterated the Overlord, hoping that with all this Charlie will offer some sensible options for him to choose.

Still looking overwhelmed, she shook her head to think clearly and be able to answer. This talk showed her the only relationships he knew were negotiations with Deals as middle ground. She’s sure now the Deals he offered were made without malice, it's just all that he knows. That's why he offered Husk, Niffty and his own services as soon as he came to the hotel. He feels that if he doesn't give equally to the relationship, the balance breaks and becomes fine print in a Favor Exchange.

Maybe their Deal was because of that. He wanted to give her something simple, with easy to untie strings; a favor that'll hurt no-one.

If he needs to give something to feel safe in a relationship with her dad, she'll help him find what to give. And work on trust exercises so he can believe in Deal-less friendships later. "Well, he likes rubber ducks, apples, sweets..." She tried to think of less obvious options but it appears she doesn't know what to get her father that doesn't involve one of those 3 things. 

Alastor blinked. Letting her struggle for a moment before saying "When exchanging a present for a Favor, it's customary to give what is equal to what was received. He did something nice to me, which I didn't need him to do, and it was appreciated. I'd like to do the same." He held a claw up at each specification mentioned.

"Nice, not needed but appreciated?" Charlie repeated, and Alastor nodded.

"For an object , it should be useful. If it's an action , maybe the king has some chore that can be delegated and he won't mind me taking care of it?" He hoped for this option, being seen doing something for the royal, speaking for him with his authority, would mean they're in an Favor Exchange, hell won't know when they began the Favors; other demons might speculate the reason he made such a spectacle of himself in the fight against Adam was because he already had dealings with Lucifer.

"Er... I don't really know about any chores... are you sure a rubber duck isn't enough?" The princess intoned, unsure.

"Charlie dear, that'd be offensive for both your father and myself. That’s almost like I'm saying my staff is a toy and what Lucifer did was a joke." The sinner shook his head "Well, if you don't know I guess I'll just ask His Majesty while we fix the kitchen." He finished airily.

"Sorry, Al." He probably asked because he wanted to use this as our favor to get our Deal over with, but I couldn't help, so it didn't count. She regretted not being able to answer him.

"Never you mind, my dear." Alastor petted her head to show he forgave her, but he couldn't help mentally question how little she knows, how isolated was she?

They stood in silence for a second before the deer demon clapped once and turned to walk back towards Lucifer. "Well, then- if you want Charlie, you may just go do more important things, I'm sure I can fix the kitchen with your father." If she's not there to dictate an overly friendly relationship, we may work out something more agreeable between us.

—

Lucifer never did tell Charlie that angels (and archangels even more) have better senses than mortals and their souls. It just never came up in regular conversations.

He's kind of glad because he wants to know what the asshole wants to talk with his daughter and now she stops well into his hearing range to spy- he means keep a reasonable and discreet amount of attention on them.

"Actually, I'm glad you wanted to talk, because I wanted to speak to you real quickly too!" Hm? What could she want to say to the radio demon of all people that she didn't want me to hear??

"-Your actions have made me and dad so much closer than we were in years- I don't remember us ever being this close- but I wanted to say you don't have to force yourself to antagonize my dad just to make him competitive and spend time with me." The fallen angel blanched. There’s absolutely no damned way that asshole has been doing all of this to get him and Charlie closer, he refuses to believe something this ridiculous. 

"It wasn't exactly all pretense, Charlie. I hate bad parents, and from what I heard 'absent' is barely the word to describe his neglect. When did you say was the last time you had an actual conversation with him? When did you last see him face to face before the hotel?" See, he just- wasn't there, so Alastor got pissed.

Wait, did he say "it wasn't all pretense"? As in, some of it really was acting??

"-I didn't see him a lot growing up... But! Sometimes when it was just me and dad, mom would come and take me away! He seemed to want to spend time with me!..." Oh Charlie, he always wanted to spend time with her, if Lilith had let him, he'd exist entirely around his little girl, but his wife always said he had to focus on work, and stop filling her head with silly stories and fairytales that gave her false hopes about hell.

"-I guess I can attempt to befriend your father." Ha! He'll believe it when he sees it, tacky piece of- "If he doesn't just leave again and starts making an effort to be present for you." ...Ouch.

"-What did you need to tell me?" Ok, focus. Let's find out what the sinner wants to interfere before he asks something awful of Charlie, or worse convinces her into a Deal.

"My microphone. I assume it was fixed by Lucifer, correct?" Really? He's going to complain about it?? Wow, he knew the ungrateful ass wouldn't even say thank you but- "it was done perfectly. He even added extra magic in it. It was...Surprising. To find it back in one piece and charged, too." Eh?

"I wanted... to thank His Majesty properly." What does he mean, ‘properly'? Just thank me?? "Rebuilding it was a nice gesture but filling it with his own magic was, pure and simple, a kindness on his part. Merely saying 'thank you' is an empty action, I'd prefer to repay him correctly than to owe him." Ohhh, he’s treating this like a Favors Exchange! That's- actually kinda nice? After all, that's the respectful way to treat someone that gave you a gift, particularly if they don’t like you.

"-you don't owe him for it? It was a gift?" Lucifer refrained from scratching his head, didn't he teach Charlie the proper etiquette for Favors?

"We're in Hell, darling. You do understand Deals, Contracts and Exchange of Favors, right? No gift comes without strings attached, especially from someone who doesn't like you." Exactly! Didn't Charlie know that?? Had he missed those lessons? This is serious! He's almost sure he told her all of this the same day he told her not to accept candy from strangers! Right ??

"-My dad wouldn't do that! And what about Rosie? She helped us, no strings attached! And I do know the difference; one is quick, one is long and the other is, uh itchy?" Well... he wouldn't ask payment from his daughter, of course! And she’s the one to ask him to heal Alastor and fix his thingy; he wasn't going to demand any return. But, wow, it's pretty pleasant, to know that the Overlord regards him enough to ask what’d be meaningful enough for his Favor and wasn't just- putting on Charlie's tab and leaving her with the bill later.

But, boy, he needed to give his girl political lessons ASAP, it’d be dangerous if someone abused her lack of knowledge. 

Also who’s Josie?

"Rosie's strings were-" Yeah that name "-On top of all that, any further conditions to that transaction would've been tied to me, as I was the one to present you to her." Lucifer tried to tactfully lean on the wall as his knees almost buckled. Alastor took the bill for Charlie?? He- ha he went ahead when his baby needed help and he made an agreement where he 'd pay the price for her if things went bad?

He heard numbly as the deer demon casually explained a concept he’d just thought he should give to Charlie lest someone use it against her, in a very concise way he can’t even envision himself accomplishing, then proceeding to say how he brought her to meet an Overlord, to get her what she needed to defend her dream, all while planning to foot the bill if everything failed. As it almost did.

Lucifer isn't tooting his own horn when he says he tabled the turns in that fight. Alastor had been fully prepared to shoulder that loss if he hadn't appeared when he did.

Maybe he shouldn't be so surprised after seeing that Alastor's first instinct to seeing Charlie fall was to jump after her.

"When an Overlord presents another with a Deal, any failure and consequence of said failure falls on the demon who first offered said Deal." Huh, he should check the Overlord post... that rule certainly wasn't there last time he heard any reports from the sinners' politics.

"-She likes using me as a mannequin." He hopes he meant that Rosa person made him dress up in costumes to see them in real people, but considering hell, he can only imagine Alastor used like a designer mannequin, cloth pinned directly to his skin as whoever it was planned where to sew the outfit.

Or maybe they'd freeze him and put him on the shop windows just to show off they could . What if they made him wear less clothes than he's comfortable with??

What if they made him showcase lingeriiiiieh-hehe. Ahem, wow. What was that?? Picture??? That appeared all of a sudden in his brain? Ha! That was- ah- really outta pocket there. Alastor wearing, oof. No- nonono. Better not think on this anymore before he humiliates himself by admitting something like the mental image being actually very appeali-

Fucking hell, I'm a fucking lost cause. Lucifer dropped his head on his hands, he loved his wife for thousands of years, still wears their ring. But she left. 7 years ago and didn't tell anyone anything. She didn’t let him hold Charlie growing up, never let him tell her stories, took her from him, then left her alone too.

And Alastor's an ass but... Charlie's right, if he wasn't suspiciously and creepily living in his daughter’s hotel, he would have heard her for a grand total of one minute, told her to stop dreaming and left and- he wouldn't have looked back.

But he had to keep an eye on the antagonizing weirdo with her, and because of that he saw how amazing his little girl grew up to be, he paid enough attention to see she needed help. That wouldn't have happened if the radio demon hadn't pushed every last one of his boundaries.

And Alastor was keeping the hotel safe, everytime his daughter needed help and Lucifer wasn't there, Alastor kept her safe (with extreme prejudice, too). And maybe that made something in him perk up.

HIS BRAIN. He meant something in his brain perked- it got his attention a-and...

Why did I imagine him in lingerie again?? Lucifer lamented as he pulled his hat over his eyes. This is like Lilith all over again.

That gave him pause. Because it is. This is exactly how he acted when he fell for the first woman. Wow, was he seriously this easy? Add some Nice-to-Charlie coins and he's ready to marry? I mean, if that's the method, Alastor is ahead of Lilith.

"Fuck me." The noise of a screeching radio startled him from his pity party, pushing his hat up and uncovering his eyes just to meet the gaze of the reason he's having a crisis to begin with.

"Excuse me?" The sinner incredulously asked, and Lucifer felt his blood hush to his face until it glowed (the joys of having luminous gold blood). He probably looked horrendously yellow.

"Gye!" He tried to say something, failed miserably, only to be further embarrassed as his wings popped from his back and cocooned him, like a fledgling trying to hide by covering his eyes. "Fuck, this hasn't happened since heaven- why??" But he knew why, he knew. He did the same thing when Lilith talked to him in Eden. He's got himself a new crush.

Chapter 6: Alastor is oblivious and Lucifer is also a bit delulu

Summary:

But he knew why, he knew. He did the same thing when Lilith talked to him in Eden. He's got himself a new crush.

Alastor was worried when the first thing out of the king's mouth as he came back was so crude. But his subsequent reaction showed that he wasn't meant to be heard, maybe Angel Dust's vulgar and random come-ons have him weary, if he didn't notice that Lucifer was clearly distracted and not speaking to anyone in particular.

They were at each other's throats merely hours before, there's no reason to suspect such behavior from the fallen angel.

Also, the fact the archangel's wings pop up involuntarily if he feels sufficiently flustered is marvelous news to know, he'll be sure to use this fact wisely for his entertainment in the future. If he has to be friends with Charlie's father, then he'll be sure to get his worth in fun.

He watched amusedly as white fluffy wings fought against their owner, refusing to retract, so he could only catch small glimpses of a yellowed face (which is also interesting information, apparently all divine beings share the gold blood), and were those teary eyes? My, my. Maybe befriending this small sad man will be more agreeable than I initially thought. 

He appreciated the view of the monarch of hell making a fool of himself for about a minute before he decided to satisfy one of his curiosities; are those feathers as soft as they look?

Reaching his hand, he slowly ran the back of his finger up along the wing closer to him to mess them up, marveling at the fact the covers Lucifer had conjured for him had a remarkably similar texture. Apparently he now knows what it's like to sleep on angel's wings.

He giddily noticed that his action made the king freeze and shiver as his feathers fluffed up and he had the thought to take a handful and pull, but he resisted the urge, much like when he was alive and had the desire to kill small animals- he much preferred to save those cravings for when he's playing with one of his victims. 

Now that the king is standing still, Alastor could see his eyes (wide and staring at him dazedly, certainly shocked at his gall) and he kept intense contact with them as he moved his finger down, watching as the quills settled in the right places almost immediately.

On the other hand, Lucifer shivered so hard his very breath trembled and the Overlord was overjoyed that such a simple touch could bring such revulsion to the fallen angel, this strong a reaction meant he can win any argument if he can get his hands on the Devil's wings.

Cocking an eyebrow and just to provoke some more he chuckled "Ticklish, I see."

Lucifer swallowed hard ( My, visibly holding back anger already? This friendship truly will be a droll ), the sinner finally deemed enough time wasted on frivolous ribbing and turned to decorate the kitchen.

—

Holy shit he touched me. That felt so good. He was so gentle, you can be rougher. My wings can take a hit at terminal speed, you can grab a handful and pull. Please grab a handful and pull. Not all pretense my left foot. He held back being gentle like this because he was angry I wasn't treating Charlie right. Is he flirting right now? This has to be flirting. He's smelling like my magic from the conjured blankets. Can I touch too? I want to touch his ears.

"Ticklish, I see." Lucifer could only swallow hard, feeling conflicted with how fast the tracks switched, what was before obvious contrariety is now coy teasing, just by changing his tone a bit. Alastor truly was a talented radio host.

As the Overlord focused on decorating, Lucifer tried to hold on to the wall as he leaned back, knees still quivering, his ring making a soft clink as it got hit on the surface and he looked at it.

He loved Lilith. Their time together was amazing. But as the years passed, she became so embittered.

Not to say he wasn't but it was supposed to change after they had Charlie. Lilith brought up the idea, suggested he change to be able to carry her, advised for a girl, said they'd love and raise her together.

And as he held his little ray of sunshine he felt his love for life reignite, his hopes and dreams felt almost tangible as that warm being breathed and cried on his arms, as he cried with her.

His wife didn't seem to feel the same. She looked at any chore that involved taking care of a baby to be beneath her, and seemed almost insulted every time he asked for help in anything that related to Charlie during her first year of life.

And then after that first year she made an almost complete flip, demanding him to stop participating in Charlie's upbringing to focus on being king, stop delegating everything and act like royalty.

Suddenly, he wasn't allowed to read her bedtime stories, sing to her, feed her. As soon as she learned to go potty Lilith basically strong-armed him into never leaving his office nor spending time with her, he only saw his little joy when she sneaked in, hiding from tutors or just wanting to see her daddy.

Lilith told him over and over that his behavior was poisoning Charlie, he was setting her to fail. He was forming her to be just like him, a catastrophic fuck-up.

Lilith threw her wedding band at him when she left. She took Charlie when she left. And then she left her too.

And Lucifer was too scared of Lilith being right to go to his little girl.

He took the ring off of his finger, inside was inscribed " Unconditional Love ". That's what they promised each other, heaven always said that there were supposed to be so many regulations on love. They wanted, needed to have their love be a sure thing, to be true no matter what they were to face. To have no conditions to be . 

But he's starting to suspect that, while he didn't know which conditions she had, his wife had many of them. 

He always thought that he didn't have any, but recently he noticed that some hard rules were good too.

‘To love and care for Charlie first’ sounded like a very nice condition. He thought, looking at the back of the cheeky deer demon, who dared to establish that rule against him of all people.

He was irrevocably charmed.

Lucifer put the ring in one of his pockets and observed Alastor make the barren place into what he preferred for a cooking and dinner area. Considering how his daughter's hotel used to look under the Overlord's purview, he imagined the kitchen would come out straight from a witch’s horror house.

But instead it was... cute? Dated yes, but homely in a way that made him feel safe and welcome.

The floor was checkered in wine red and white, the walls now a off white that looked cream under the soft, warm light he picked for the space. Cabinets, drawers and appliances were the color of ducklings (and that must be another coy message, come on, duckling yellow?), the freezer and other utensils also had dark red details to match the floor.

In the middle there's a large white table, big enough to fit ten seats, three on each side and two both on the head and at the foot. The chairs were white to match the table, with red stuffing in the backs and yellow in the seats.

Finally, the walk-in pantry was fully white; door, walls, shelves and floor. "To better see dirt and pests; it stores our food, after all." The sinner explained, probably noticing Lucifer confusion at the total lack of color. 

The royal nodded, and with a snap of his fingers the pantry was filled from top to bottom in all types of food, so anyone would have ingredients on hand to cook and eat or snack on.

Seemingly satisfied, Alastor turned to the king "Now that we're done with this, I need to ask you a question on another matter, Your Majesty ."

"Me? Uh... okay?"

"I wanted to thank you appropriately for fixing my staff, going out of your way to also charge it was very much appreciated. I know one usually asks close friends or family for an Exchange of Favors, but Charlie couldn't think of anything valuable enough to offer and I don't have contact with anyone else close to you. If you have anything in mind? Or perhaps you could delegate some of your royal matters to me so you can have more time to dedicate to your daughter?" Before, the king would have taken the words for an insinuation of his failure as a parent, a peacocking arrogant demon trying to one-up him by implying he's better at spending time with his family, but the tone didn't match, he sounded like he was lightly teasing, and maybe also testing him. 

Lucifer felt his heart skip a beat at the suggestion, he managed to hear most of the sinner's discussion with his baby girl (before his love crisis made him deaf and blind to his surroundings) but he heard how Alastor established he'd only maintain good relations with him if he was more present in Charlie's life. And now he is here, giving him a way to do so (Lucifer already delegated almost everything to spend all day making rubber ducks, but the radio demon doesn't know that. He probably thought he was too busy and that maybe this way he'd have time to commit to his princess' project).

Touched by the proposal, the archangel accepted. Giving one of the last tasks he hadn't delegated yet; inspecting the borders of the pride ring. It's a job he only has to do once per month, so that's the reason he never bothered to give the task to anyone. Well, that and because it's 100% a certainty that if he asks others to do it regularly, there will be corruption in about, uh, 3 months. Tops.

But since it's Alastor it should be fine.

The demon had a happy expression at their agreement ( I mean, he's always smiling but he looks giddier than usual, I guess? ) glad that the Favor was rightfully tallied and paid, and Lucifer won't have to go into that annoying TV demon's territory and he gets to have more time with Charlie this month. Everyone wins.

The Overlord was ecstatic, Lucifer agreed to his half of the Exchange without hesitation; invoked the official paper delegating the job to him for this month, signed and handed it to him much quicker than he had even hoped for.

And he didn't look to have done that to get rid of the chore, his expression was almost moved, like he actually believes he gave the option so the king could have more time with his daughter.

Could Charlie have talked to him of her ideas that he'd been manipulating them to be closer? Dare he actually think that his "good actions" have landed him such an ally as the literal Devil?

If that is so then this friendship will be much easier to manage than he imagined. Why, if Lucifer keeps being this docile, it might even become genuine. He thought, amused.

Putting his (permission to annoy everyone at their own territory) king's order inside Umbres’ negative space, he decided to keep fomenting their alliance, and what better way than spending time together, preparing a meal in this very kitchen? Food always brings people closer, as his mother would say. 

Also, he wanted to be the first one to cook there, sue him.

"Now that all the work is completed, what do you want your Majesty?" Alastor asked, looking expectantly at Lucifer.

"W-what I want? What do you mean?" The smaller man questioned, a bit flustered. 

"Why, I may not be a professional but I'm very proud of this fine establishment we did! And there was never a meal I made that wasn't complimented. So, requests, my dear. I'll make enough for everyone in the hotel." The sinner said animatedly, laying his cane by the counter as he washed his hands, then snapped his fingers, producing a wine red apron and a pair of rubber gloves.

"Are you putting on gloves to cook?" The king confusedly frowned at the choice.

"I prefer to wear them; it’s more sanitary." The demon deadpanned in response, well used to others questioning his preferences.

"Oh, ok. What recipes do you know?" The smaller moved on, already distracted by the promise of home cooked dinner. 

Chapter 7: Umbre sees it and he knows just how to use it

Summary:

"Oh, ok. What recipes do you know?" The smaller moved on, already distracted by the promise of home cooked dinner.

He felt a bit flattered the king didn't ask further on his inclination for wearing gloves, ear flicking in pleasure at not having to forcefully maintain his boundaries he relaxed and spoke jovially "If I were to list all I can prepare we'd be here all night!" He added laugh tracks to the comment to keep the mood light. "It'll be easier if you tell me what you're in the mood for, sire."

He watched as Lucifer made a pensive pose, and had to once again repress the urge he usually has around adorable little defenseless critters, when finally the angel opines "Maybe some kind of stew, with pork meat?"

"Hmmm." Not finding trouble with the request, he proceeds to conjure pork, bell peppers, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, carrots, peas, onions, garlic, herbs, spices and green apples. Then he also made rice appear to add more grains.

"Ohh, looks healthy!" The king remarked, seemingly mystified by the ingredients “What the apples for? Dessert?”

Looking at the assortment of food with a judgemental eyebrow cocked, the deer demon commented dryly "This is merely the bare minimum necessary for a balanced meal. And no, the apples are a bit of a secret ingredient, my mother added their juice to give it a little extra kick."

"Huh, sounds healthy, too. So, speaking of, what of dessert?" The archangel continued, attention moving to another topic as he remembered nobody took him up on his celebratory pancakes. Maybe I can make them for after the meal!

"The food isn't even started and you're already only thinking of sweets?" Alastor wasn't sure if he was feeling amused or critical of the oldest being in the hotel being completely unable to concentrate and skipping to the cookies before eating his vegetables so to speak. 

"What? Sugar is also important for the 'balanced meal' or whatever you call it." The Devil crossed his arms and huffed, frowning and pouting which would look ridiculous on anyone else.

Well, it does look utterly ridiculous on him, too. He thought fondly, not even noticing how much endearment he felt.

"Sire. Are you, perhaps, a child- no, this actually explains so much. You spent your whole life skipping the main dishes and eating only the cake, didn't you. That's why you never grew up ." He spoke airily, leaning elbow on the sink so he could rest his head on his fist.

"What?? You fucking asshole, you're still going on about my height?! I thought we were trying to be friends!" The king complained uncrossing his arms to be able to gesticulate his affront. 

"Oh, yes. Of course, we are attempting to see eye to eye, my apologies." He said imperiously, grabbing Lucifer by the waist to sit him on the counter "There, now we are on the same level." He finishes, lightly tapping the smaller man where his nose would be and chuckling as the action embarrassed (or maybe frustrated) the other to the point his wings popped out again.

"Ah- asshole! Look what you've done!" He blushed as Alastor chuckled, gently brushing the feathers aside to open space so he could go back to working on the food.

As he imagined, giving up teasing Lucifer wasn't feasible. It's too enjoyable to stop.

—

Umbre has known Alastor since just about the moment the deer stepped foot in hell, he just so happened to be lurking about at the place where the sinner spawned, so he had front roll to the little psychopathic fawn taking his bearings and then quickly adapting to being in hell.

He couldn't explain why or how he knew the other would take the world by storm, but he just felt there was no way he wanted to be anywhere but in the eye of it.

So after accompanying him in secret for a week or so, he approached with a Deal.

Before their Deal he was fully mute, so gaining (and then keeping) attention was a struggle, especially when you're a literal shade. It was even more challenging when Alastor refused to look down or to the sides, laser focused as he walked and pridefully refusing to act like prey, never checking corners and over his shoulder to see if he was followed. 

He finally appeared on a light background to write and mime his intentions; Alastor's shadow would be his and his shadowmancy could be used freely, the deer then offered a bit of his control over radio waves just to facilitate communication and the rest, as they say, is history. 

He watched from front and center as the Overlord found new, fascinating ways to turn hell inside out and upside down for 9 decades and counting. He'd be lying if he said there are no emotional attachments, you can't spend all this time by someone's side if you don't like them.

After knowing Alastor for almost a century now, he knew how to read him better than he knew the back of his own hand. Or at least he did, before his 7 years captivity.

It changed a lot about the deer. Not all of the changes were good, not all of them bad, but they made him a whole new brand of unpredictable. Not to say that was negative; one of the main reasons the shade felt the need to follow the newly arrived sinner was because he perceived that crazy unpredictability and he wanted to watch it from up close.

And in all this time, he'd never seen the red haired demon get as worked up as when he met the king. And now while together, Lucifer called to Alastor like the sun did a sunflower.

Of course there are strategic advantages to interacting with the angel the way he did, his friend is no saint nor is he a fool moved by his emotions, but the fact of the matter is that there are emotions. He's quite sure his friend didn't notice, though. 

The last time he showed even a bit of interest in someone was Vox some 50 years ago, but he was clearly just curious of the other demon that tapped into the radio waves like he could (that TV was very disappointing. The little time they squandered trying to see what type of creature he was still feels like a waste of a perfectly good month).

This is completely different, the instant he saw Lucifer he wanted his regard, he never cared if he wasn't recognized but when the king didn't know him (and didn't seem to want to) he got so… Well, that petty sing-off they did was certainly catchy.

Now he's here cooking for the midget. Oh, he does this every so often, he can even hear that phrase he says every time he uses this particular tact to manipulate people into liking him- food brings people closer. But not once did he do so in front of them, he demands solitude, makes what he wants to eat, has others enjoy his meal and that's the end. He doesn't ask for requests, doesn't plan a balanced meal, and sure as fuck would bite the head off any fool who dared think of dessert before the main dish. He doesn't like sweets and how offended he gets if one thinks of them when he's making real food.

He can see clear as day in his friend's eyes, he's looking at Lucifer like he wants to squish him to death, which is aggressive yes, but it's the same way he looks at anything he finds cute .

He's not sure what's more surprising, the fact that Alastor can find a person appealing at all, or that, since he can find people attractive, it means in the last 90 years he never found anyone else who fit the criteria. And that's not even counting his human life, which he knows also was devoid of dalliances. 

He's even touching the angel! And not just to make him uncomfortable by invading his personal space, he's looking relaxed in a way he never fully manages to when he's pushing his own boundaries just to push other's harder.

This is priceless.

This is also dangerous as fuck.

Before the Contract, he’d say he knew exactly how his friend would react; if he caught on too quickly, he’d freak out, shut down all feelings, lash out and then run the other way like he was scalded, pretending he felt nothing and as such, that it can't be used against him. He has always been too paranoid about having any weaknesses. Not that Umbre blames him, the last 7 years proves that even all his preparation still wasn’t enough against the maliciousness of hell.

The good news is that they're on the right track, Alastor looked contrary even at the very thought of not getting to tease his interest. Second good news is that Lucifer seems captivated too, if him putting away his wedding ring meant anything.

Bad news is that he can’t say for sure what will make Alastor buck now-a-days, also they're being stupidly obvious and if someone blathers before the deer is in too deep to go back, that dumbass might retract violently and ruin everything, which they can't afford because of the cursed Contract.

He'll have to shift everyone's focus to another matter, and talk with Charlie to get her on his side to plot matchmaking scenarios (which is hilarious to imagine, Umbre never lacks entertainment since he joined his fawn sinner) and also to see if she is even ok with her father going back to dating, if she starts rebelling from this it'll be all for naught after all.

As he looked around the kitchen his eyes caught sight of his partner's cane and he thought of the perfect way to spin this, he just needs to speak to Alastor and food will be served with a show to distract them all into not seeing what he wanted to go unnoticed.

The Overlord ended up allowing the archangel to make his quote unquote Best Pancakes Ever for dessert to celebrate their overall win against heaven.

While the smaller man was focused on his production, Umbre signaled to speak to his friend to tell of his idea. 

It was simple, if he acted correctly it'll paint him in a better light to Charlie (and subsequently her father), and best of all (and main reason to act on the idea), it'll teach Husker a lesson of his place under his Contract. All for the low, low cost of being nice to everyone at the table.

Agreeing to the plan, Alastor could feel a thrill of expectation for dinner now. He never forgot why he'd made a Deal with Umbre, but it was moments like this that showed why they're friends.

Now all he had to do was wait and stop Lucifer from eating his damned pancakes before the stew finished cooking. He started spelling the sweets to keep them warm and fresh (it doesn't last long, but it's enough for the duration of the meal) , then covered their plates to maintain the king's sticky fingers away.

"Sweets after the salts, your Majesty." He said as the dainty hand moved once more towards the finished pancakes "If you're done making the dessert, then you should go call everyone to come eat. By the time you're done the stew should be ready. If you manage to call them here before I’m done, set the table, would you please?" He finished gently as he grabbed the hand and used it to pull and spin the angel away from temptation and to his newly assigned chore.

Lucifer pouted again at being denied his pancake tax before snapping his fingers; conjuring a set of yellow and white plates all with simple line art of ducklings drawn in red at the corner and matching silverware.

As he walked beside the table, the plates, knives and forks floated to their proper places, quickly and organized, settling in front of each seat. He then left the kitchen to search for his daughter and her friends so they could eat Celebratory Pancakes. And Alastor's food, too.

Chuckling at the obedient tantrum, the deer focused on making sure all the potatoes and meat were tender. Just ten more minutes and they would all be eating and the show could begin.

Chapter 8: The dinner

Summary:

Chuckling at the obedient tantrum, the deer focused on making sure all the potatoes and meat were tender. Just ten more minutes and they would all be eating and the show could begin.

Notes:

Kaiamond's comment on last chapter gave me an idea to add to chapter 8, so this one is dedicated to you lol

They were having such fun this evening, although this all was very bad to Lucifer's poor bruised heart. When the sinner grabbed his waist he was sure he’d have to stop a very bold deer from stealing a kiss (he’s definitely not ready for such a forward step!), but it turned out the redhead was just still mercilessly teasing him, lightly handling him to lead him wherever he wanted. Poking him in ticklish spots then laughing when he squirmed. Not to mention he was unable to refrain from caressing his wings anytime they were out and anywhere in his reaching distance.

Everytime they stood remotely close while moving pans and preparing ingredients it was a constant tap or prod or nudge, the fallen seraphim’s skin was tingling from it all after so long in isolation. At one point the cheeky sinner had the gall to pinch his wing! He almost dropped a pancake! And then the jerk had the audacity to try and look innocent like he hadn’t done a thing!

He started to use his own tail to swat back at the Overlord, but that just encouraged the other, somehow it became a game of who could get more in the way of the other without actually doing something that could be considered as obstruction. And it was fun for both of them, if their soft giggling was any indication.

Alastor didn’t want to admit the childish behavior was entertaining but he was having a blast, usually he can only be a fool around Umbre, maybe Rosie- if he has enough blackmail or gossip material to keep her from subtly bringing it up at the next meeting (she enjoys teasing him too much, and isn’t mute like his shadow, to his eternal chagrin). He couldn’t believe his king was added to the short list, but it made a certain amount of sense; the devil couldn’t say anything considering he was participating just as much in the clowning and how to silence him was as easy as tickling his wings out then taking them hostage, so to speak.

And it seemed that the royal had been lonely enough that a subject who didn’t cower and refused to treat him with somberness was appreciated more than he’d ever confess. And of course, even if the angel were to try and tell anyone of how they were acting in the kitchen, no one would trust his word, so the deer felt safe in his antics.

To the small man it all felt surreal, it was all still so utterly different from how things were just months ago in their previous encounters, where looking at each other seemed to only bring hate and antagonism for them with the barest provocation. He’s still in disbelief that the broadcaster has been holding back on all of his tender and friendly acts just for the sake of staying angry with a bad parent he thought had abandoned Charlie.

Finally, when the sinner deemed their dinner mostly done he, once more, grabbed and boldly twirled the blond, "Sweets after the salts, your Majesty. If you're done making the dessert, then you should go call everyone to come eat. By the time you're done the stew should be ready. If you manage to call them here before I’m done, set the table, would you please?"

Lucifer, frazzled and giddy from all the contact, and pouty still for the fact the other kept blocking his attempts at eating his own pancakes (the nerve!), decided to rebel by doing his requests out of order; fixing the table before coming back soon enough with all the other current inhabitants to the cozy kitchen, wasting no time to bring them back to the sight of a fragrant steam rising from a pot of pork stew placed at the center of the table, organized timely as they rejoined the deer.

Charlie compliments the overall appearance of the room as they sit down, and chatter fills the air as they gather around the table. Seated at the head of the table is Alastor with a welcoming smile, and his grin only grows as he makes eye contact with Husk across the table; the cat has seen this method before. This wasn’t the first time the radio demon made a meal to get others to let their guard down around him.

The Overlord gestured to the portions he already had put on bowls “Dig in, everyone! The pork stew turned out wonderfully tonight.”

Cherri commented, rubbing her hands together eagerly while sitting closer to the door “I could smell this all the way from Angel’s room! It better be at least half as tasty as the smell is!” She playfully threatened before taking a bite and moaning at the flavor.

The group begins to eat, passing around conversations “Would anyone care for a glass of wine? I imagine it’d pair well with the stew.” Asked Alastor.

Lucifer, who, to the quiet surprise of everyone, willingly sat beside the redhead at the other seat on the head of the table, finished swallowing and responded “Nah, I prefer apple juice.” then made his own glass appear.

The deer nodded, conjuring a wine glass and bottle for himself, looking at those around him, silently asking if they wanted some.

Charlie politely denied “Mmm, thank you, Alastor, but I just want water. Veggie?” She asked her girlfriend sitting to her left, who agreed with her “Two waters, please. This stew is divine! What's your secret ingredient?” She asked, happily thinking her plan had worked; her dad and partner hotelier appear to be on much friendlier terms since her conversation with the Overlord. She's glad they were able to move past their initial problems.

Always happy to be complimented, Alastor proudly shared “Ah, it’s my dear mother’s recipe- a dash of paprika and a green apple’s juice. Gives it that tangy flavor.”

Veggie took her time eating, it tasted marvelous but she vividly remembered the state of the meat on the breakfast she caught the demon “enjoying”. She was apprehensive, but since her girlfriend’s father witnessed every step of the production, she was choosing to trust the meat. For now.

Angel Dust nodded approvingly “This is really good, But I’m really avoiding pork dishes, so if we could have a second option next time, maybe?” He didn’t think of the fact he was contradicting a powerful Overlord until he saw Husk’s frightened expression to what he said.

Quickly gulping his mouthful, the spider was about to apologize when the carefully phrased response came “I will… endeavor to remember your preferences next time, Angel Dust. If you could bother to remember mine as well? I do get tired of having to repeatedly tell you ‘no’.” The demon was holding his wine cup lightly, seemingly appreciating the reflection of the light on the blood colored liquid.

Feeling distinctly like he dodged a bullet but that the gun was still pointing at him, he laughed awkwardly “Hehe, my bad, is just… force ov’habit, y’know?”

“Yes, I did think it was so. But do make an effort, won’t you?” He sipped the wine, then tenderly lowered the glass chalice “Now, wine? Or perhaps water or juice?”

After that, the tension wanes and conversation flows effortlessly, ranging from lighthearted banter to deeper discussions as the stew disappears between hungry teeth. Only Husk noticed as Umbre ate Alastor’s portion discreetly, the shadow grabbing at the forkful of bites before they could reach the deer’s mouth. The cat sinner took it as further proof that the radio demon had done something or was currently doing something with the meal to trick everyone, but he bit his tongue and bided his time- he had a bet with himself that he’d be able to extract some truth from his Contractor if played his cards right.

As their hunger was satiated, Angel Dust finally leaned back in his chair; content, full and no longer worried about having deathly offended the Radio Demon “Nothing brings people together like good food and company.”

Nifty jumped in her seat, eagerly agreeing as she raised her knife like one would a glass to cheer “Here, here! To nights like these—filled with food, laughter and opportunities to stab !”

The clinking of silverware-to-plate stopped as the others processed what the small insectoid woman said, looking at each other before Charlie finally raised her own glass, sheepishly but cheerfully toasting to friendship and delicious food. However, amidst the jovial atmosphere the girl created, a strained undercurrent lingered as Alastor and Husk exchanged pointed glances and the others slowly noticed the brewing conflict.

The deer demon’s smile looked certainly passive aggressive as he spoke “ Husker , don’t you like stew? You have barely touched your plate.”

‘Barely touched his plate’ isn’t at all accurate, as they look toward the cat sinner they see he hasn’t even attempted to move the food in his portion. He was frowning, never taking his eyes off the Overlord. “No, thanks, Boss. Lost my appetite.” He said coldly, deliberately antagonizing him.

The others exchange uneasy glances, unsure what the situation was about.

“I see. And perchance, did you lose it before or after you tried to set Charlie and Lucifer against me? I heard you had lots to say about having my staff fixed and powers restored while I was undisposed.” Alastor drowled, interlacing his fingers to rest his head on top, gaze disapproving, teeth bared in his grin.

Now understanding the reason for the fight, Charlie nervously tried to diffuse it “C’mon, Al. No harm no foul, right? Dad got your cane all in one piece so there isn’t a problem, right?”

“The problem, my dear” the deer demon continued, not breaking eye contact with Husk “Is that, as an ex-Overlord, Husker knows very well that after a big fight like that, where I was publicly shown to have been weakened, there is a big chance I’d receive many pests attempting to overpower me. Being in my position means there’s always an opportunistic shark waiting, hoping to smell blood in the water. And while I’m sure I’d be able to fight off any that came along, he was deliberately setting me to struggle. Which is very poor form on his part.”

Husk, still banking that he could get under his employer’s skin and get him to reveal his real intentions behind this dinner, replied sarcastically, “Oh, so you’re afraid you aren’t strong enough to kill all of us, save maybe Lucifer, even without a crutch?”

Alastor held back an offended growl as he forced his response to sound mocking “Why exactly would I harm someone in here, hmm? Because I’m an evil Overlord with no morals, is it? You know all about being a deprived Overlord with no qualms about attacking the weak, exploiting their vulnerabilities to trick souls into Deals. Am I right?”

Angel frowned looking from Husk to Alastor, and confusedly asked “What d’you mean, Smiles?”. But Husk's expression remained stony, the barman only frowning harder at the deer and refusing to elaborate on his comment. Angel Dust then turns to the gambler and persistently asks “No seriously, what’s the big deal? Husk, what is he talking about?”

Only then does the cat break eye contact with Alastor, ears folded back, not looking at anyone.

Got you. Alastor thought as he sighed “You see, that’s exactly one of my main problems with Husker here, he always acts like I’m such an awful monster, I own him and mistreat him oh so badly. Like I didn’t win his soul fair and square, like our Deal wasn’t honorable.”

Husk slammed his hands on the table as he stood up “You cut the bullshit, Alastor you-”

“ You . Tried. To. Own. Me . First .” The deer hissed, interrupting his employee as his antlers grew and his eyes shifted into dials.

Notes:

fun fact: originally this chapter had 3k words and was going to just be a super chapter bc i had no idea how to either shorten or lengthen it, but Kaiamond's comment pushed the word count to 4k, so i got to divide it in two XD

Chapter 9: Husk’s Contract

Summary:

“You. Tried. To. Own. Me. First.” The deer hissed, interrupting his employee as his antlers grew and his eyes shifted into dials.

Notes:

I can't take this anymore, I want to post the second part of the dinner confrontation, so early post for everyone XD
THIS CHAPTER HAS AN ACCOMPANYING PIECE!! Check out the second fic in this series for DLC content :D

The quiet was absurdly loud at the table as all the residents of the hotel slowly processed the words of the radio host.

But Alastor knew better than to let the silence linger long enough that the cat sinner would have time to formulate a defensive argument “On that day you tried to hook Valentino on a bet, and you gave him every. Single. Soul you owned, but he quit while he was ahead, so you had nothing and then you tried to get me. The Deal was ‘whoever loses, signs the other’s Contract, our souls on the table, nobody else's.’” The radio static kept getting thicker as the radio demon's anger seemed to grow “I didn’t set the terms, I didn’t establish the rules. I just stopped you from cheating in that game, took the three cards up your sleeve and the two Aces in your seat and that’s it. You shuffled that deck yourself, you gave me that Flush yourself. You know very well that your Contract with me is impartial as can be. You know it, Husk, but for some reason you still act like I’m in the wrong like you didn’t land yourself in hell for selfish reasons yourself.”

The atmosphere grows increasingly uncomfortable when Alastor summons a Contract paper. “This is your Contract, Husk, signed by you in your name, agreed by our Deal in that gamble, your soul is mine by your own games. You were indirectly hindering me.”

The cat sinners eyes widened, he hadn’t expected the discussion to go this far “I didn’t-”

Alastor interrupted the barman “Tell the truth. When you were trying to stop his Majesty from fixing my cane, you were deliberately seeking to make me weaker, Yes or No?”

“Yes.” Husker spitted like the very word was poison.

“Tell the truth. You know how many enemies I have. You know if I’m weaker there’s a bigger chance I’d die. Yes or No?” The broadcaster continued to press.

“Yes.” The furry ears pinned themselves closer to his head in apprehension as the others around him gasped.

“You still remember the 5th term in your Contract, don’t you? What was it you used to do to your souls to punish them when they purposefully or even accidentally messed up your plans or got in your way, hmm?” The Overlord asked, eyes narrowed at the gambler.

Husk gritted his teeth, either denying or too afraid to answer.

“Very well then, I’ll answer my own question for you then.” He sneered, getting up and stalking towards the cat threateningly “You’d beat them. You’d stuck them in humiliating and demeaning positions and if they pissed you off enough, you would go out of your way to find the most vile, disgusting, aggressive and violating beast to sell their souls and Contracts to.” He listed, slowly circling his prey.

“Should I do the same to you?” He paused briefly, enjoying the fear he could see in Husk’s expression. He could almost hear his thoughts ‘Did I mess up too badly? Is this the time I’ll get killed or sold to a gutter dungeon of depraved monsters worse than even the Radio Demon? ’ “I don’t actually want to. But I can’t leave your impudence unaddressed. So,” He continued as he moved to the opposite side of the table, closer to Cherri who’d sat across the gambler, magically producing the chains of Husk’s Contract in his hand and pulling, making the furry demon fall atop his full plate, getting dirty as he was dragged belly down to the middle of the furniture. “I’ll do something simple, since I’m feeling forgiving, today.”

“Let’s go over your full Contract, shall we?” he scorned, holding the paper but listing the terms without needing to read it.

“1. I shall be able to summon you whenever I want, wherever I am. Unless I order you to, you may not ignore a summoning from me. Easy enough, I actually stole this from your regular Contracts, didn’t I? Summoned you once a month, if that much, but let you act as you want all the rest of the time.”

“2. I shall not starve you, nor deprive you of water, nor deprive you of sleep, nor give permission to others to deprive you while you’re under my Contract. I thought this was very kind of me, many want to be able to deprive their contracteds, so I imagined you’d be glad that I even bothered to add this amendment.”

“3. I shall not touch you inappropriately, nor give permission to others to touch you while you’re under my Contract. Self explanatory. Also, I don’t think you’re thankful enough that I put in your contract multiple terms that pertain to me, for your protection. Because if I ever got compromised, unlikely as it was, the shit wouldn’t spill over to you.”

“The next two are important so I’ll say them together;” He was still speaking from memory, not checking the physical Contract at all.

“4. I shall not demand you to do anything you find morally reprehensible. If you found something morally reprehensible yet demanded some other soul to do it, then I shall be able to demand you to do it anyway. And 5. I shall treat you the same way you treat your contracted souls .”

You’d be able to hear a pin drop at the stillness in the dinner room. The broadcaster, knowing very well how to dramatize even the most dull text, was feeling in his element as he narrated the Contract he gave to the barman “Have I ever treated you any worse than you did to your… belongings?” He jeered.

As the cat kept quiet, Alastor scoffed and continued to read.

“Terms 6 to 9 are that you shall not share anything you learn of Me, My allies, My dealings or My properties. Unless the information is a widespread rumor or common knowledge about me.” When saying ‘me, my allies, my dealings or my properties’ he signaled each with a finger, counting the four differing terms.

“10th, You shall not ask for compensation for any services rendered to me. Which I found fair,” He said pulling the collar again to force Husk closer still “Considering you never paid any wages to any of your contracted. And you had them work everyday for you, while I demanded one day per month. Again, at most.” 

“11 and 12 is that you may not Directly or Indirectly aid anyone's plot to harm, kill, hinder, or otherwise get in my way. Which is the term you breached.” Another yank, this time the chain started to hoist the cat up by the neck.

“And my personal favorite-” He spoke right to Husks’ face “ 13. At the trigger words "Tell the truth" you shall speak truthfully, without hiding information from me. This has been the most useful. Almost every time I summoned you I had to use this one. Not because I want to, but because you insist on lying to me.” The radio static at the end of the phrase made it almost unrecognizable.

“In exchange for your soul, under the compliance of the terms in this Contract, I shall grant you power equivalent to half your prime as an Overlord and status to prove you're not merely a pawn to be forced under foot. Signed by Husk.” He finished with gradour before sending the Contract away again.

Moving back but still holding on to the chain, Alastor's eyes returned to normal as he visibly controlled his anger “It's also worth mentioning that I have only ever owned three souls, counting you, in all the time I've been in hell. The other two I have even set free. How many souls have you put under your control, Husk? Tell the truth.”

His tail flicked back and forth while he was visibly trying to withhold answering, but was unable to fight the compulsion written in his Contract as he bit out “At least 4 thousand. Didn't really keep track.”

“And after I contracted you, did I stop you from living however you like? From contracting more souls? Getting more power as you like?” At Husk's pointed silence he sighed long and hard, sounding frustrated and disappointed. “Tell the truth.” He added emotionlessly through his permanent smile.

“Only when you summon me.” hissed Husk.

“And how many souls have you got since you lost yours? Tell the truth.” The flat way the Overlord spoke showed his dissatisfaction at having to keep repeating the trigger words.

“200.” Was the quick answer.

“And how many do you have right now? Tell the truth.” During all of this the deer looked straight at the eyes of his contracted, no matter how the other tried to avoid his gaze.

“23.” Was said in a much more subdued tone.

“That's a vastly smaller number, isn’t it? Did you set any of them free like I did? Or were you just betting their souls in your games again? Tell the truth.” He questioned tilting his head, mockingly sounding like he was merely wondering out loud, but still demanding a reply.

“Lost most when you summoned me here.” Husk barely mumbled, now doing his best to stare at the table, shying from the eyes of the others as he felt their heavy judgment, especially Angel’s. 

“That's what I thought you’d say.” Alastor agreed “You didn't get a worse overall life after I owned your soul, maintained your autonomy and got to make most of your choices,  the worst I do to you is to treat you the same way you treated those below you, I don't even force you to stay here full time. You're not kinder than me. Not nicer, nor more benevolent. Less violent, maybe, but we both know that you sent your souls to buyers worse than me just to punish them.”

The redhead let the almost silence linger for a moment, only the white noise of a radio to fill it as the hotel habitants witnessed this discussion “You don't get to act high and mighty. You don't get to pretend you're the good guy. You don't get to imply I need to be humbled. I'm not taking that bullshit from you, Husk. You don't have grounds to say any of it. Am I clear?”

“Yes.” The cat assented quietly.

“Do I need to be more direct,” He shook the magical chains “Or you'll remember to never again utter that garbage of ‘As Alastor’s contracted’ to play victim as you set others against me?” He mimicked the gambler's voice perfectly as he quoted Husk’s previous words to Lucifer.

“I'll remember it.” The winged sinner nodded.

“Good.” Alastor released his hold on the chains, allowing them to dissipate “Eat the dessert at least. His Majesty was the one who did it. Him, you will respect. Correct?” There is an implied ‘or else' very unsubtly added.

“I'll eat.” While no longer held still, the furry sinner didn't move to leave the table as he trembled.

“Good boy.” He snapped his fingers, cleaning the mess on the table while keeping the cat’s fur dirty as to make a statement and moved in the direction of the door, but stopped after clasping the handle, glancing over his shoulder at Lucifer “Your Majesty, you may keep my portion. I'm afraid I’ve also lost my appetite.” With those parting words he left, gently closing the door behind him; which was very chafing after his display of wrath.

The others sat in tense silence. Angel looked conflicted, and all tried to avoid looking at Husk's dirty front after he finally crawled out of the table.

Lucifer floated the plates of pancake over to the table, awkwardly offering to all present. They ate mostly to accompany the cat sinner, who seemingly couldn’t refuse.

After finishing their pancakes the group disperses, the disagreement weighing heavy in the air.

Notes:

If you missed the notes on the beggining of the chapter, I made an extra one shot with a bit more of an insight in Husk's Overlord days. it's the second chapter of DLCs of Peace of Mind :D you don't need to read it understand this fic

Chapter 10: It starts with sorry ✨pleen pleen✨

Summary:

After finishing their pancakes the group disperses, the disagreement weighing heavy in the air.

I nailed that performance. Alastor thought as he went back to his room. Now all he had to do is give it a little time then apologize to Charlie for his “anger outburst”. Maybe she’ll ask him to express regret to the other residents but he can manage to say a couple of “heartfelt” sorries to keep the act going.

Actually… it’s an absolute certainty she’ll want him to make amends for his gig, but if he does so before she can ask him to, he'll make her even more sure of his “goodness”. All he has to do is time it right so she’ll see him apologizing.

He tells Umbre of his plan and sends him to keep tabs on them, he’ll begin with Angel’s, he sleeps closer to Alastor’s room and he’ll accept quickly, probably just to escape the awkwardness of being apologized to by an Overlord.

After him should be Charlie and her girlfriend, as he’ll be sure she’s nearby the chances of “accidentally bumping” on her and thus deciding she’s next on his list of pardons is high. And wherever Charlie is, Vaggie is soon behind.

Cherri might be gone by then, but if she isn’t, she’ll be in Angel’s room, so he’ll also ruefully tell her he didn’t mean to ruin the night while he’s there anyway.

Lastly, by then hopefully Charlie will leave him alone to find Lucifer so he can excuse himself and make amends for making dinner so tense and not even enjoying his Best Pancakes. He’ll have to make a good show as he’s trying to get the king to like him, but it shouldn’t be difficult.

He doesn’t need to justificate himself to Niffty and by then, the Morningstars should be on his side over Husks’ so it’s more likely that he’ll get an apology from the cat sinner, instead.

What a marvelous plan from Umbre, not only did he get to put Husker in his place, the gambler even has to redeem himself to Alastor, now.

He spawns a radio to put on some jazz and begins to relaxedly decorate his new room as he waits for the next phase.

—

The shade carefully entered back into the kitchen to watch as slowly and stiffly the inhabitants of the hotel eat the dessert the king made. How lovely it is to witness chaos and the aftermath of it.

They seemed to also have “lost their appetites” but as Husk had to eat, they felt obligated to finish the meal, too.

Lucifer looked dazed, but was still saving Alastor's portion, too. It appears his friend will have to eat his sweets and compliment the chef when he goes to talk to his majesty later.The specter snickered to himself at that, and settled to observe. This opportunity will present to him how the sinners and royals now feel in relation to the Overlord and to the gambler.

But from what little he has observed already the drama worked exactly like he hoped. The porn star was looking at the cat like he wasn't sure about anything they had said to each other anymore, Alastor’s line of how Husk loved preying on those down on their luck probably hit close to home there. He might even be wondering if he wasn’t being used in some way.

Cherri was leaning a hand on her friend and was giving some very pointed glances to the barman too, she must have had to help her companion after he was tricked by a lover more than once, so seeing it almost happen again might be triggering her protective instincts. Looks like she'll be staying, Alastor will have to give her an apology tonight too.

Charlie seems to be brainstorming ways to make things right again, exchanging many glances with the angel girl, who surprisingly looks like she might be taking Alastor’s side. Maybe the point of how Husk used to be an Overlord has her questioning how much trust she gave the furry sinner just because he was supposedly harmless when compared to his master.

Nothing needs to be said about Niffty, the dearie is enjoying her pancakes very much.

Lucifer on the other hand looks sadly and absently at his plate, either uncomfortable with the atmosphere, bothered that the deer didn’t get to eat his food, some other inane reason the shadow couldn’t even begin to imagine, or a combination thereafter.

But the big star of best reaction to the drama goes straight to Husk. He certainly looks like he learned something from this exchange. It really shows how much he cheated at poker to win, his emotions are all over his face, and best of all, the clearest ones are anger and humiliation. Oh, how he hopes the others misread his expression and starts accusing him of more misdeeds against Alastor, that would be the true cherry on the cake.

None of them will be questioning his fawn relationship's with the so-called temptation incarnate. The idea spanned out so well he can barely control his giddiness. 

The painfully slow consumption of dessert finally ends and the demons all start to head to their rooms. Umbre moves back to the broadcaster, who was sitting, reading in his newly furnished abode fitted with the entire bayou on the back, and signs to speak.

“ They were more partial to you, or at least more doubtful of Husk. It worked flawlessly. ” The shadow grinned mischievously, mirrored by the other as he saved his page and stood up, twirling his cane.

“How was Charlie?” He asked merrily, crossing his legs as he leaned on the staff.

“ Looking like she couldn't wait to implement some forgiveness techniques to lower the tension. ” He dutifully replied, pivoting from wall to floor around the red headed demon.

“Well then, almost time to ask for forgiveness.” He mocked a tone of altruism, fixing his already perfectly straight bow tie “Is Cherri still at the hotel?” He asked as he exited his quarters.

“ Angel looked like he was processing what Husker ‘really is like’. ” The specter snickered, “ So the chances are high for a pajama party. ” The silhouette closed the door for his friend with a dark tendril.

“Keep a lookout for when Charlie approaches. I'll wait near his suite.” He muttered as he walked down the corridor in the direction of the spider’s lair, maintaining the link he had with the shadow to hear his warning.

Umbre nods, crawling as a dark shape near the stairs and elevator, ready to rush back after telling the Overlord his cue. Which wasn’t long after, barely 15 minutes before the princess proceeded from the elevator in the direction of Angel’s lodgings for her supposed pep talk with him, her girlfriend in tow.

“ You can knock, she’s here. ” The shadow informed through their radio connection, quickly moving to fuse with the dimness under Alastor as he rapped on the door, pretending he didn’t notice the girls who turned the corner then hurried back into the lift’s corridor as they saw him.

“Ugh, Charlie I really don’t wanna talk with you right now.” The muffled whine came from the other side.

“I’m afraid it’s not our dear princess. May I speak with you? Preferably inside?” He said, making sure his voice was light and gentle. As a podcaster, his best talent was to make sure his tone expresses exactly what he needs others to perceive.

The dampened sound of someone stumbling could be heard moving closer “Smiles??” The porn star opened the entrance to his abode, his make up clearly smuggled by tears. Cherri sat in the back, on his bed with a box of tissues and looking bewildered at the deer sinner “Holy shit, it’s really you.” He spoke baffled while standing in the passageway.

“It truly is. May I come in?” He’s mostly accustomed to having doors closed right on his face as people confusedly try to comprehend how come he’s existing in the same general space as them, but he has to confess to not particularly appreciating having to talk like a Jehovah's Witness, but he can’t just barge in someone’s territory when he’s trying (to pretend) to be nice and remorseful.

The spider looked back at his one eyed friend, uneasy with letting the recently very angry and now very strangely calm cannibal sinner inside his safe place “Uhh, I’m not sure I want…”

“It won’t be long. I’m not trying to offer a Deal, ” He attempted to convince, sighing at the unsure face that turned back to stare at him “I merely… I wanted to apologize.” he said, not having to fake discomfit as he had this discussion in a hallway, instead of a more private setting.

“Uh… say what?” the perplexed cyclops said from inside, on the bed, where she hasn’t moved from since the start of the conversation.

“I said I wanted to apologize.” Alastor cleared his throat and tapped the microphone out of habit, but refrained from jokingly asking if the object was functioning, he was trying to sound genuine, after all “I was frustrated with Husk and my own situation and my actions soured the meal that should have been a celebratory occasion.” He decided to simply say, if this scene wouldn’t go as smoothly as he wanted it to be, then at least it would end sooner rather than later.

Anthony now looked amused at the radio host, “Did Charlie set you up?” he asked, looking to the sides in the corridor, likely expecting the girl to be “hidden” at the corner, watching the sinner act in one of her redeeming exercises.

“No. I came of my own volition.” The deer frowned, somewhat offended to be discredited to such extent (even though he was in fact just pretending at apologizing), he decided to complement his earlier justification “I dislike the very idea of depriving one from food, the fact it happened because of my harsh words and deeds means I should, at the very least, express my regrets to those affected. I was under the impression that anyone from this hotel would be able to conceive of the fact I have enough class to admit when I did them wrong, even while we aren’t exactly close- which is not surprising, considering our clashing personalities, but, well...” he finished openly, not really sure how to continue as he drummed his claws agitatedly on his cane.

“Ah…” The spider awkwardly started, uncertain how to take the genuine response from the hotelier “Umm, I guess the feeling is appreciated? I’m not really sure what to do with a ‘sorry’ from The radio demon…”

He leaned more into his staff to stop fidgeting with it as he spoke next, hoping this conversation would be over soon, so he can leave to “accidentally” meet Charlie, this apologetic scene is more bothersome than he had cared for. “You needn’t do anything, not even forgiving me is a requirement; you as well Ms. Cherri Bomb.” He nodded to the girl, her eyebrow raised as she was taken aback at being included in the apology. He went back to addressing Angel, and explained “As someone under an Overlord you might be uncomfortable and unused to one of us treating you as a thinking being but I was given the title on a technicality and have always been odd by their standards.”

“Wait, really?” The two friends looked curious, exchanging glances like they were asking each other if they ever heard of a rumor of the radio demon being just “technically” an Overlord.

Smiling further, the deer proudly gestured to himself; while asking for forgiveness was a bore (even if it was to advance his plans), he’d always be willing to brag about himself “If I am to share a long podcast then I do demand to be let in, I’d never tell a good story standing.”

The younger sinners looked at one another, making sure they were on the same page.

They let Alastor in.

Chapter 11: A special podcast

Summary:

They let Alastor in.

TW: Brief Gote as Alastor describes his favorite methods of torture for his broadcasts

Notes:

(...) = means someone is asking Alastor a question
I didn't write it because I didn't want to break the flow of narration
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.
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Friendly reminder that I updated the DLCs shots with a new chapter on how Alastor became so strong even with so few soul Deals :D check it out if you want!

Well, where should I begin? I guess the first thing that maybe the two of you won’t know is that ‘Overlord’ is supposed to be a title of Noblesse Oblige, but much like any other position of power it was corrupted until it was barely recognizable by the time I came around.

The second thing you need to know is that I’m a serial killer, and my preferred prey even back when I was alive are the powerful who specifically target those beneath or frailer than them. Classless, the lot of them. Rude, aggressive, perverted . Brave only when facing someone that can’t hit back.

So when I first spawned in the fiery pits, I didn’t take long to find who I would devour.

Oh, the Overlords weren’t my first kills, I do admit. I started small, refinding the pigs I had murdered topside. I’ll have you know, every single one of the 48 of them were all down here. So, I can’t say their death was very regrettable. Of course there were others that warranted a star spot in my broadcasts in between, but those men deserved to be hunted .

I enjoyed myself very much, and I’ll confess to maybe even overindulging with some of them. But I can say without doubt that they earned everything I did to them.

I played around until I gave them a second death that truly punished them as they deserved, I didn’t know that was supposed to be impossible if you weren’t an Exorcist. 

Actually, can you believe that because of that, there were some rumors that I was an angel? Ha ha! To this day that makes me laugh. Me? An angel? Even a fallen one? It’s truly to bring tears of mirth to one's eyes!

Anyway, I’m not sure why it was so easy to end them. To me it was just… natural. I took until there was nothing to get from them, then kept going further still. 

So after I got my bearings and got used to things around these bands; when I understood who was top dog and what they did from up there, I began to aim higher. That’s where most of my legends and rumors come from. I’d see an Overlord, research them, find what made them tick, and then give them what was fair for what they did to those around them. There were many that laughed before they understood how bitter their own medicine was.

They were so very disappointing. Flour of the same sack as those 48 I dealt with back when. Weak to the strong, but strong to the weak. I even bothered to give them one last chance before actually picking them apart.

I asked each of them; why ? A simple question, right?

The first ones I got? They were very honest. They bragged: Because I can .

Well, I could too, so I did too!

Skinned, flayed, torn to pieces, left to bleed dry, from the extremities to the heart, scalped, given as food to beasts; oh! And my favorite one, blinded, tongue removed, nose and ears carved from his face and then, only then, boiled alive. 

All broadcasted to all of hell.

Four decades had passed since I died, by then. And not so long after, I met a very strange sinner, a newly arrived demon. He had descended not even twenty years before but he had Vision , he’d say. Ambition and Drive. 

Vox.

And I got curious because he was the first entity other than myself who could interact with the radio waves at all. That was all my territory before, so imagine my surprise when I felt a fly trampling all over my web.

He was noisy, clearly didn’t understand what he was doing, and annoying to boot. But since he was a foal learning to walk I wanted to hear him out before I decided what to do with him.

I wasted a month to see if there was even one small detail about him that could be praisable as he was also a demon based on a form of entertainment. Instead, I found out the only reason he could crudely interact with radio waves were the bunch of cables he commissioned.

The problem is, I was famous by then, and the fact I approached him went all the way up his head. I don’t think you understand, he acted like me seeking him out before he could meant I was subservient to him. He thought I was coming to lay down and declare him my king!

He went on and on about how he planned to explore a loophole and become a big boss by establishing a company as an Overlord. The corporation would do the needed steps to be considered an Overlord, and since he’d own the corporation he’d get the title.

I found Vox’s plan ridiculous, I didn’t want to step up the ladder on someone else’s winds, not to mention that nothing stops the mob of enemies you’d get by becoming an Overlord from killing you, if you’re not strong enough to keep your position. But he was certain his plan would work, especially with me as his attack dog.

No. He didn’t call me that. To my face, at least.

But it was clear that was his intention; he had one of the requirements to being an Overlord, allied himself to Velvette who had another of those prerequisites, and had sent Valentino to contact Husk to get the final necessity. Doing the simple math left me as the muscle of the operation, nothing more than the dumb, strong underling that does as he’s told to.

(...)

Oh, you don’t know what are the qualifications to being “ennobled”, let me rectify this then.

To become an Overlord there are 3 stipulations you must complete at least:

You need to have enough territory to house 500 souls;  You need to own 500 souls; And you need to be known by 500 souls.

Vox is the owner of the building that could fit 600 employees at once, Velvette is an Influencer who came a couple of years before him and was already known by over 1000 demons. All they needed was 500 souls, which is where Valentino and Husk come in.

Husker had a bad habit, as I said before, to go after those down on their luck, and also the new meat who doesn’t know any better yet. Valentino had just appeared then so nobody knew him or who he associated with. Apparently Vox knew him when they were alive, so as soon as he arrived they allied together.

Husk had a tried and true method to get the souls of new blood; a poker game, a string of losses and then one big win. He’d call you into his casino, let you play around, win some rounds, then he’d ask for a game, lose on purpose, do it until he had “no soul left” so he had to bet his own, bet all in the game, cheat and bam, one more to his roll.

Sinners usually fell for it but Vox had already warned Valentino, so when Husker gave all his 800-some souls, Valentino got up, took his winnings and left.

I had gone after that overgrown moth to see what “super smart, you won’t believe it” method that Vox kept bragging about. And I have to give it to that talking box, I truly couldn’t believe it.

They really were trying to stack 3 very weak demons on top of each other under a trenchcoat organization and call that an Overlord.

One building, not to house but to employ; souls acquired in bulk in one bet, none of them strong; and a reputation fickle as fashion seasons, influencing for seconds at a time.

I was going to tell Husk who exactly had decided to trick him out of his 'hard earned' souls when he came to me demanding I play and gamble my soul on it. I got offended because he'd thought I’d fall for the newbie trick, so I accepted thinking I’d get some money and own him instead.

What was not common knowledge back then, is that there was an alternative to the rule pertaining how many souls are necessary to be an Overlord. Apparently, being the master of someone who had owned that many souls at one point counted.

I was already extremely infamous as the radio demon, practically everyone had heard of me in Pentagram City, so that point was checked. And my territory is radio waves, everywhere that sound can reach is mine in a way. I thought it was metaphysically speaking, but it was valid enough for the magic of the Overlord Ledger.

So on that day, Husk’s massive loss of power- due to losing his souls and giving me his own- meant he was no longer ennobled and I got saddled with the title when I won our poker game. An emergency meeting was called, I felt it as I was added to the list of invitees, the others gave me a copy of the Contract stating I was bound to it; I tried to find a way out of accepting, but the Contract was solid. So unless I become as weak as a human, I’m stuck with this responsibility.

Which wouldn’t have been so bad, except-

On the very next day, VoxTech was founded and those three clowns became one Overlord put together, so now we were colleagues. And unfortunately, one of the rules of that magical Contract was that an Overlord could not kill the other Overlords. To do so is to be stripped of all your power.

At least there are rules on who can be an Overlord now. The label used to be automatically granted to those who fit the bill, so to say, which is why I got it accidentally. But after all this blunder they made it so the whole of the council had to vote on accepting the candidate .

If I had known how bothersome it all would’ve been, I’d have killed Vox the moment I felt him galivating on my radio waves.

(...)

It’s not that I hate Vox. It’s just that he’s an annoying, conniving asshole. If there’s a way to trick others to do it for him, he’ll always pick that option. He’s lazy, arrogant while being extremely insecure, full of himself while constantly changing himself to fit other's perception of perfection, begging for validation from those around him, and worst of all, he has no morals. Nothing is too low for him.

Had I known the type of man Valentino was I’d have killed him immediately, but I focused too much on Vox and not enough on his companions. I’d never let a serial rapist walk free, but I discovered it only after we all became Overlords, making them untouchable because of the Ledger.

Because of Vox’s stupid plan, they’re barely strong enough to count as one Overlord when put together, but entitled and spoiled thinking they have what it takes. Gambling the title on no bomb exploding Vox’s main building, Velvette not saying the wrong thing and losing all of her followers or Valentino being able to corral who knows how many souls on barely binding Contracts.

(...)

The fact you’re standing in this hotel is proof that your Contract isn’t truly binding, Angel. You’re a part-timer prostitute. That’s not a part-timer profession. Valentino simply doesn’t have enough power to have you under his full control, so he made you a “freelancer”.

(...)

Well, yes. Technically Husk is the reason you’re stuck with Valentino. However, I don’t think you should blame him, there was no way to imagine his actions would lead to your situation.

I can’t- and wouldn’t- ask you to forgive someone, but I do advise to at least hear him out if and when he tries to explain himself to you. I’ve seen him when he’s using someone’s vulnerability to get something from them, so I can say with certainty that he has only been after your friendship when the two of you interact.

You two are surprisingly good to each other. I called him thinking that his history as an alcoholic would make him useful to the hotel, but your chemistry together was beyond expectation.

(Sigh) Maybe that’s the reason he wanted to leave his Contract by making me more likely to die, he was hoping to be able to kill Valentino and free you, then. As he isn’t allowed to interfere since he’s my subordinate.

(...)

Could I free him, like I did the other two souls I used to own before Husk..? HA!

I’ll tell you a secret, that you are Not to share with him. I hate owning souls, my mother was black, and it was just beginning to be illegal to own my people back then, so it leaves a bad taste in my mouth to possess others like that.

So when I made the Contract of that couple I made a term that allowed them to demand freedom, which I could then grant, finalizing the Contract without breaking it. Which I do not recommend, I’m told it’s very painful for the owner to forcefully terminate it.

I put the same term on Husk’s Contract, but he never noticed. Isn’t it funny? All he needs to do is pay attention to the wording of his chains and he can be free, but he never bothered. He prefers to complain about me behind my back and refuse to eat my food.

Well, I think this was a long enough podcast for tonight. I shall leave you two to enjoy your evening. Good night!

Chapter 12: Angel’s POV intermission & Charlie heard all of that

Summary:

Well, I think this was a long enough podcast for tonight. I shall leave you two to enjoy your evening. Good night!

Notes:

¹ The song playing in the elevator is called - You're the cream in my coffee. The link will lead to the song on youtube.

There's a new chapter of DLC too, it's just explaining who are the other 2 souls Alastor had a Deal with.

Angel Dust isn’t really sure he ever had a conversation this long with Alastor before. Well, as much as it could be called a conversation, it was mostly a monologue from the radio host.

He feels like he knows the deer way better now. To think one of the strongest Overlords in Pentagram City got the title by accident is almost laughable. To be honest he’s not even sure he believes the story fully, but it’d make sense; he kind of wondered how come Val was an Overlord with no territory under his name.

And it was fairly calming to know that Smiles probably wouldn’t try to kill him. He made it sound like he usually went for the type who abused their power, and Angel was only a Power bottom, who Abused substances.

Also, he knows this is the Pride ring and all, but seriously, how many demons looked at Al and thought they could trick him into being their personal living weapon is surprising. There was that Mimzy girl, Vox and apparently even Husk. He’s starting to suspect that people legitimately forgot just how powerful the radio demon was because he was chill, or maybe it’s better to describe it as “selective of who he’ll murder painfully and slowly”? 

The bottom line is that it’s shocking that he needs to list names of people who tried. Even more so that they’re all alive to tell the tale; maybe Alastor is a bit more merciful than he tries to pass himself off to others?

Speaking of mercy… 

Alastor said that Husk can be free. One of the terms in his Contract can land him out of it.

He’s not really sure how he feels. On the one hand he’s happy for his friend, he could get himself untied from his chains. On the other hand he’s starting to notice he didn’t know the barman as much as he thought he did.

‘No one could relate to the gruesome ways in which I’m damaged’, huh? Taking some of your own medicine sure sounds gruesome. He thought bitterly, wincing at his resentment soon after.

He gets he’s being unfair, he doesn’t know what it’s like to be under Alastor’s thumb. But that’s exactly the problem he’s facing; Husk never told him what his Contract was about, what he had to do since he lost his soul. He said it was bad, but couldn’t contradict the deer’s claim that he never treated him worse than the cat did to his own contracted.

He guesses the best way to deal with this situation is to follow the advice he was given; when Husk comes about to explain himself he’ll listen and see how he feels about their relationship after that.

He turned to Cherri, after all this talk he’s way less depressed, so that means this was now a Pajama Party, not a Pity Party and he needs to discuss with her the fact that even Strawberry Pimp thinks he and Husk have Chemistry .

—

Charlie knew that Husk was a big influence on Angel’s journey to redemption, so she had to talk to the spider about how he was feeling when they finished their meal and the group dispersed in such low spirits.

She had quickly brainstormed some exercises with Vaggie, wondering if it was better to talk about the benefits of forgiveness or if she should validate his emotions and help him discharge in ways that didn’t involve sex, drugs, death or any combination of them.

So imagine her surprise (and considering how wide Vaggie’s eye was, she was also floored) when they turned the corner only to see Alastor knocking on the door to Angel’s room. And to apologize, no less! 

She looked at her girlfriend, checking if she wasn’t hallucinating, but the incredulous face mirroring hers meant that it really was The Radio Demon, without prompt once again acting so nicely to the hotel members.

Another point to her theory that he was sneakily redeeming himself! He learned the lesson of “Saying Sorry” and he even applied it in real life!! She’s so happy Vaggie has to hold her hand, lest she start running to the Overlord to give a Congratulatory Hug for a great job being nice!

And while she totally wanted to respect their privacy as they moved from the topic of apology (and how proud she was that Al even told Angel that he didn’t need to forgive him if he didn't want to, he was being so respectful of feelings and boundaries!), she learned that the hallways were really extra echoey and since the door wasn’t fully closed they heard all that talk about how the deer became an Overlord, and how he got Husk under Contract, and why he doesn’t like Vox, and Holy Shit, that he actually left a way out for Husk!!

So Alastor actually never owned that many souls and the ones he did, he made sure to give them Contracts that could be easily ended! The Deal he offered Charlie surely was just so he could get her help without making her be indebted to him after, he’s so nice!

Now she’s kind of feeling really bad that she judged him so much when they first met, his reputation really was way worse than it should be. Yes, he was murderous and very dangerous, but he chose his targets with a much finer comb than she was led to believe. He has a much bigger heart than you’d imagine after you hear about his broadcasts.

Soon after she heard the hotelier bid the other sinner good night and hushed back with Vaggie to the elevator, pretending she had just come off it. She didn’t want to embarrass her friend by making it obvious they heard everything.

When the deer turned the corner, he perked at seeing the princess and fallen Exorcist and addressed them warmly “Charlie, my dear, I was just about to come look for you!”

“Me?” She froze at being addressed “What for, Al?” She asked somewhat nervously, afraid she was caught.

“Why, I needed to apologize for my harsh words during dinner, I wasn’t feeling too well.” The hotelier leaned on his cane casually “The fight against heaven might have exasperated me more than I had noticed, and I ended up making a spectacle. I don’t usually act like that in polite company. That is meant for yourself as well, Vagatha, I didn’t mean to make the meal so tense.” He finished with a nod to the smaller girl.

“Oh! It’s ok, Al! I mean, yeah, you exaggerated, what with how you treated Husk, but admitting the error and asking for forgiveness is a great step! I’m really proud of you for going and expressing this!” She said genuinely with a big grin while giving a thumbs up.

“Yes,” The radio host cleared his throat “I just came from apologizing to Angel and his guest. I’ll search for your father next, he was really looking forward to having me taste his pancakes.” Charlie noticed that his voice sounded rueful, you really could hear the regret in his tone. She considered how truthful Alastor had been when he said that one shouldn’t assume his emotion based on his smile, you can only understand what he really feels by hearing it in his voice.

“Don’t worry, he saved your portion! Dad really likes making pancakes, he did them all the time when I was young.” She said warmly, remembering her childhood, before sobering “But… You’re doing great, really, but what about Husk?” She ended, worriedly.

Her partner hotelier sighed, brow furrowed even as his lips continued to beam “Husk’s contempt for my food is a sore spot that we had discussed before between ourselves. At least for tonight, I don’t think I can speak to him without losing composure, so I’ll leave that for later, if at all.”

“But, well…” The girl tried, quietly.

“My dear, you heard him. He was deliberately hoping that by convincing your father to not fix my staff, that I would end up in a position to be hurt or worse. I can’t forgive that, not this soon.” Was the firm but not unkind response she received.

“You’re right, it’s unfair to ask that of you.” She agreed, nodding but still looking saddened.

The deer demon patted her head to console her “If it makes you feel better, I have no intentions of doing anything else against Husk, just reminding him that it was his own actions that landed him in my Contract is enough for me.” He offered as a compromise.

“Actually, yeah, it does. Thanks, Al.” The demon moved his hands from her hair to her face, gently touching the corners of her lips to remind her to smile, and she chuckled a bit at this insistence on her facial expressions.

“Not at all, my dear.” His own smile grew at her obvious better mood “I should be going, but do have a good night. If you want to check on Angel, he seemed in much higher spirits after our little talk.” He stepped back and turned in the direction of the lift “Before I go, could you tell me where your father is?”

“Oh! He was still in the kitchen last I saw, but if he left he’ll be in his room by now for sure.” Was her much more gleeful response.

“Marvelous! Thank you, dear Charlie.” He spoke, twirling his microphone as the doors from the elevator slowly closed; soft, cheerful music¹ playing from the inside now, clearly a reflection of the mood of the radio demon.

“Bye, Al!” She waved, now lighthearted.

“Yeah, uh, good night.” Vaggie watched silently, not really sure how to add to such bizarre conversation as the sinner left; The Radio Demon, apologizing? Consoling? Being nice? Even seeing it with her own eye, she just couldn’t believe it.

“Well, that makes our job easier, right, Vaggie? Come on, let’s check on Angel real quick and go to sleep. Tomorrow I’ll talk to Husk about his actions and how to apologize, too.” The princess turned to reach the suite of the spider, holding her girlfriend’s hand. She was feeling energized and ready to give one last pep talk on that day.

—

There are many aspects about Alastor’s powers that Umbre finds fascinating; his ability to shift into a bigger form is pretty rare, how little sleep he actually needs, the voodoo magic he learnt when he was alive, the fact that he can feel (or technically, hear) radio waves at all times. But of all he can do, his favorite is that, when his mood is just right, any radio near him will start playing a song with the same genre as the emotion he’s feeling.

As this started happening almost from day one of his stay in hell, his friend doesn’t really pay attention to the music playing around him everytime it happens. Umbre is quite sure now is one of those times where the notes enter one fluffy ear and go out the other.

Maybe he doesn’t have to worry too much about getting the Overlord to fall properly for Lucifer, if the thought of going to see him already makes his mood fit the genre of a Love song.

Chapter 13: Lucifer and Alastor talking in the kitchen~ h o l d i n g ⋆ h a n d s

Summary:

Maybe he doesn’t have to worry too much about getting the Overlord to fall properly for Lucifer, if the thought of going to see him already makes his mood fit the genre of a Love song.

Notes:

The song is again - You're the cream in my coffee
The link will start the music a bit further ahead, where the song started in Lucifer's perspective ;)

Lucifer was cleaning the dishes by hand. He usually just magics them into being done but he was feeling extra depressed, and so he was doing them manually to help him calm down with the repetitive motions.

The dinner had been going so well. Or, at least he thought it was? Did he read Alastor all wrong? He didn’t even notice that he was vexed until the argument with Husk started.

Lilith used to complain all the time that he didn’t pay attention, they had many fights back when Charlie was too young to even remember it. She’d be angry and he’d miss all the signs, and that made her angrier. Their arguments usually happened at the dinner table, too. He’d be enjoying his food like a moron and Lili would blow up because he fucked something up, didn’t notice and didn’t even pay her enough attention to see she was incensed about anything to begin with.

If he wasn’t so… himself, he would notice that kind of thing before it had to become an argument, then the first woman wouldn’t have to make a scene just so he’d see how fucked up things were so he finally do something about it.

And apparently nothing ever changed because here he was, eating like all was fine and dandy and suddenly everything blew up and all of the clues of what led to it flew right over his head.

Maybe Lilith was right. His being here will only teach Charlie all of his worst flaws.

What was that crap he was thinking before dinner? He has a crush on Alastor? Is he for real? He can’t even notice when he’s super angry, there’s no way he can be in a relationship when he can’t even get something this simple right. Like, he was clearly pissed, just like his ex-wife used to always be. He has no excuse whatsoever, by now he should be able to fucking not overlook this kind of shit before it hits the fan.

He’s the most hated creation in existence, isn’t he?? Shouldn’t he be capable of spotting when someone is fuming? Was it something he did, or didn’t do? Could he have made that fight not happen? Is he the cause of the displeasure? Is someone going to slap him for fucking up again?

He wasn’t aware his spiraling thoughts had made him silently cry until he saw a drop of water in the plate he had just finished drying. He blinked, bewildered, before understanding what it was. But apparently becoming aware fully broke the flood gates because suddenly he was sobbing.

Great, I just washed that and now I have to clean it again because now it’s all dirty with my useless snot. Congratu-fucking-lations Lucifer, you managed to fail at washing the dishes . His cruel mental reprimand only made him hiccup, and he bit his lips as he covered his eyes, trying to slow the flow of tears.

The king isn’t sure how long he stood there, bent over the counter, pathetically crying over a plate he could just clean again. But the fact he had to wash it once more because he failed at doing it right the first time somehow made his knees weak and locked his whole brain in this downward hole.

Suddenly the radio on the corner of the kitchen clicked, and an upbeat song¹ started strumming, a bit scratchy at first but quickly tuning correctly.

You're the cream in my coffee~ You're the salt in my stew~ You will always be my necessity, I'd be lost without you. 

“Huh?” The archangel sniffled, looking up at the radio, “ Why did it turn on?”

You're the starch in my collar~ You're the lace in my shoe~ You will always be my necessity, I'd be lost without you.

As the meaning of the lyrics registered in his mind, the confused king blushed lightly and started to dry his face with his sleeves, wondering why the love song was playing.

Most men tell love tales, and each phrase dove tails~ You've heard each known way, this way is my own way | You're the sail of my love-boat,~ You're the captain & crew,~ You will always be my necessity, I'd be lost without you.

The lyrics ended and the song continued only instrumentally. Meanwhile, the fallen angel now feeling more flustered than miserable sniffled, unsurely smiling as another minute passed with the cheerful music coming from the corner. Promptly, the door to the kitchen opens, and in walks the radio demon “ Did he put that song himself..? For… me? ” 

“Ah, marvelous, you’re still here, your Majes-” The radio scratched as the song stopped and the deer immediately moved besides the blond “You were crying?” He asked, almost looming over his face to check for tear tracks to accompany the swollen eyes and blushy complexion.

“Ah, I…” The king rubbed under his eyes, trying to erase any more proof of his earlier outburst.

“You were.” Alastor carefully pushed the hands away from the smaller man’s face, as he was just chafing his skin by now.

“No! No, I was just, er…” Lucifer tried to lie, but he was caught so wrong footed, the emotional rollercoaster of his depressive episode, plus the surprise from the song and from the Overlord’s sudden entrance still had him reeling.

 “Was it… because of my discussion at dinner?” Awkward shuffling of his feet was the only answer from the devil “So it was. I… my apologies. I didn’t mean to distress you.” He finished gracelessly, not needing to fake his regret when confronted with the real sorrow in the tear filled eyes.

Usually, Alastor wouldn’t even conceive of apologizing genuinely. Guilty very rarely was ever utilized in his vocabulary, but the Morningstar family made him softer in many ways he hadn't considered possible before.

He’d never imagine that his drama would be so disquieting to any of the residents of the hotel, much less to the strongest monarch of hell. He honestly envisioned that he’d come to a pissed archangel, angrily mumbling of how he ruined his dessert with his display. Maybe Lucifer would call it a hissy-fit or cruel or any other negative characteristic, but to come in to catch him crying?

No, this isn’t what he expected. This isn’t what he wanted .

Any further thought was cut by the frantic speech of the blond “No, it isn’t your fault, I- I’m sorry! Just- Lili always wa-would tell me how shitty that I can’t tell when she was pis-angry! And clearly I didn't learn anything from our marriage because, -aha here I am! Still fucking up and never seeing when people are angry around me and it made everything at the meal shitty and- I’m sorry, if you’re still angry you can- just-” He stumbled fast over words, gesturing and nervous.

“Sire.” The deer absently grabbed the monarch's hands to stop him from his negative self-talk. In the past he often enjoyed it as demons tore themselves apart in self-critique, but somehow he didn’t want to see his king doing the same.

A timid “Yes?” came from the man he was holding, the broadcaster unaware that he was caging him against the sink.

“That fight was in no way, sense or form, your fault. I wasn’t really angry until Charlie proposed a toast and Husk didn’t even raise his glass. My emotions aren’t your responsibility, either way. I came to apologize to you for me souring the celebration. And now I see I also need to apologize for upsetting you. Your Majesty- Lucifer .” The fallen angel blushed, he doesn’t think he ever heard the sinner call him by name before. “I am sorry.” The demon finished, distractedly running his thumbs over the smaller hands. Not noticing what he was doing as he was caught up on the fact that he was being totally honest as he expressed his regret.

“Oh.” Was whispered in response, the blond focusing more on the gentle caress as his heart skipped a beat. He doesn’t remember the last time anyone touched him this tenderly.

If Alastor is apologizing, it means that mess hadn’t been Lucifer’s fault, so he isn’t a total failure, and it also means that no one is angry with him, no one will scream and hit him and tell him to leave. No one is telling him that it all would have been avoided if he was better.

Lucifer thought numbly on his earlier second guesses about his feelings regarding the demon and he can only conclude those doubts have just been crushed to fine dust. He can even feel his wings attempting to pop out and flutter on his back, but he valiantly keeps them hidden.

The deer finally perceived how close they are, how the archangel can’t really move any way as he was pressed to the sink behind him, and how he’s holding both his hands carefully. “Ah.” He fumbled back and released his king. Thankfully, Umbre caught his cane when he dropped it in his hush to comfort the other. Even after being freed, the smaller man kept the pose he had until then, hands in front of his body, leaning on the counter, looking up at the sinner with… relief? Awe? He wasn’t sure what it was, but he wasn’t comfortable having it directed at him. “I believe we should go to sleep, emotions have been running too high this evening, what with the fight against the Exorcists and the argument after.” The radio demon cleared his throat.

“I… need to finish the dishes. Cried over some of them, so… gotta clean them properly.” The archangel said awkwardly.

“Ah, yes.” He cleared his throat again “I’ll help you, no reason for you to do it alone.”

“No no, I can do it.” argued the monarch.

“I insist, I…” The hotelier continued hesitantly “I still feel bad for not eating your pancakes, so I’d like to help with this much, at least.”

“Oh, that reminds me, I saved your portion!” He said as he pointed to one last covered plate on the counter “I recasted the spell to keep them warm and fresh so they should be tasting good.”

Alastor nodded, quickly helped finish washing the plates and grabbed the mentioned pancakes, ears slightly downturned as he hadn’t actually wanted to eat the sweets, but deciding that it’d be only fair after he apparently made Lucifer cry alone in the kitchen.

He bit the pastry without any syrup, only to stop and comment “Oh, they taste pretty good.”

The blond laughed “Wait until you actually add something on top, like maple or chocolate! Like that you can only-”

“Taste the actual part you made from scratch? I am aware.” The broadcaster interrupted playfully “Also, I don’t like overly sweet things so I much prefer them pure.” he complemented.

Lucifer blushed and felt strangely flattered at the admission that the other was enjoying his pancakes for their flavor alone. “I can make you some more if you want.”

The sinner shook his head “As I said, we should sleep, but- Charlie said you like making them. You could make me some for breakfast, if it won’t be a bother?” He didn’t want to admit but they were pretty good, and if the other was volunteering to feed him, it’d be only polite to accept.

“Not at all! I do love making pancakes! I’ll make them for you anytime you want!” The king offered eagerly, grabbing his apple staff he had left leaning in the corner.

“I will… hold you to that, I guess.” He finished his plate, cleaned and put it away. “Well, I’ll be off to bed, see you in the morning, Sire.”

“You can, I mean, after all this you should just call me by my name, you know?” The smaller man commented, fidgeting with his own cane.

Clearing his throat again at the request that felt peculiarly intimate, the Overlord decided to comply anyway “Very well. Good night, Lucifer, sleep well.”

“You too. Good night, Alastor.” Was the fond reply.

The deer then left for his room, oddly flustered after hearing his name from the king’s mouth.

Notes:

Friend Reminder :D DLCs updated again today!

Chapter 14: Umbre is preparing for his Plan

Summary:

The deer then left for his room, feeling strangely flustered after hearing his name from the king’s mouth.

Well, the good news is Alastor is falling quickly. Umbre thought ruefully after third wheeling that scene. The bad news is that he might be becoming self aware. If he notices that he’s head over heels too soon, things could take a big turn for the worst.

What should he do? Pick up the pace or slow them down? His head says slowly, but his instincts say to hit the gas. He’ll have to go talk with the princess as soon as he puts his friend to sleep. He needs to make a decision ASAP.

The deer was so out of it he almost hit the elevator’s door face first before properly entering it. Reaching his room, Alastor started to ready himself for bed; undoing his tie, unbuttoning and slipping out of outer garments and putting red voile pajamas. The shadow debated with himself if he should give him the duck themed covers or if that would be too much too soon.

Fuck it. The shade thought as he took the soft blankets and pillow out of his negative space and made a nest for his fawn. To make it seem as if he was just picking on his friend, he grinned impishly at the radio demon when he turned to lay in his bed and saw the comforters.

His idea worked; the demon took his actions as only teasing, and rolled his eyes as he laid on the soft materials without complaint, clearly enjoying the smell of apples as he inhaled deeply.

The specter turned off the lights and pulled the curtain for the Overlord, knocking on the floor twice as the sign for ‘good night’ they’d made years prior, so the other didn’t focus on the noisy radio waves when he’s about to fall asleep.

“Good night.” His friend responded, dozing off quickly as the sensation of angel wings made him feel unusually comfortable and safe, the shadow congratulated himself for it as he used the opportunity to crawl to Charlie’s room as soon as he confirmed that the other was fully “off”. 

He snaked the dark hallways until he was outside her quarters, hoping she hadn't drifted to morpheus yet, he made a tendril to knock on the door. He did feel bad coming this late but he needed to talk to her urgently.

“Yes?” She answered soon enough, and although she was wearing pajamas, thankfully she didn’t look like he woke her up. She looked from side to side, trying to find who came to her until Umbre hit on the frame to call her attention down “Oh! Umbre, what do you need? Is it Alastor?”

Umbre made a so-so with his hands and pointed inside her quarters, asking silently to come in.

“Of course, we’re getting ready to sleep, but if it’s important..?”

The shadow nodded and moved inside, looking around for the radio he knew with certainty his friend would have put in the lodging already. When he saw it, he turned it on using a tendril to tune it to the specific channel the deer had given to him to be able to communicate out loud in case it was needed.

The shadow then moved to the wall beside it; he knew it was easier to grasp he was speaking if they could see his lips moving when they heard his words “Can you hear me?” the shade said in an undertone, testing the volume.

“Oh my goodness, you can speak??” Wondered the half angelic girl, her fallen angel girlfriend reacted at the same time with “What the hell, it can speak??”.

“Only with radios, Alastor gave me a channel and enough power over the radio waves to do this much” Umbre gave a brief deadpan look at the white haired girl before continuing in the same tone, mindful of the time and of the sleeping deer that could hear him if he was too loud while in his frequencies “I needed to speak to you, princess, it’s important.” He soon continued, not wanting to be sidetracked.

“Of course, what is it?” The young monarch assented as her lover looked skeptical. 

“I wanted to ask 2 things, the first is more… personal to you but it isn’t bad, just…” The specter paused for a brief moment to search for words “How open are you to the idea of your father dating again?” He decided to just rip the bandaid.

“My dad? Why?” Both women looked at Umbre with confusion.

“Well you see, before dinner as he was talking with Al, he removed his ring in a very… telling manner, so I wanted to know if I could try to matchmake my fawn with your father or if that’ll upset you.” He tried to say in a way that seemed casual. Hoping she’ll agree because otherwise, he’ll have to plan to set them up in secret, which will be much more difficult.

“No. Way!!” The stars that started to literally fly around the girl gave him a positive vibe that he thought meant she was in “You serious?? Oh gosh, do it!! I want my dad to be happy, he hasn’t been in so long. If he wants to date Al, I’m all for it.” She was so glad she talked with Alastor to tell him he didn't need to antagonize her father for their relationship, she could barely contain her happiness at the idea that her partner and parent could actually like- like each other.

“Charlie, are you sure?” Vaggie asked hesitantly, still not sold on her girlfriend's theory that the demon was secretly nice “ I mean, I don’t want your dad to be lonely either but you’re sure you care to do it with Alastor? I mean is he even interested?” She pointed rationally.

“Oh believe me,” Came from the radio as Umbre spoke again, moving his hand the way he sees the Overlord do when he gossips with Rosie “I’ve never seen Alastor this interested in anyone ever, and I've known him from the moment he came to hell. Literally, I was there when he spawned.” He shared in a fake whisper, having fun pretending he was doling out a secret.

“See, it’ll be fine. They’re going to be so cute together!!” The blonde girl reassured the fallen angel, shaking with glee “What’s your plan, Umbre? Also I’ve been meaning to ask, are you non-binary or..?” She remembered to ask as she wasn’t sure what pronouns the 2D demon had.

His eyes widened before softening in a fond look “I go by they/him. I prefer male pronouns but if you don’t call me ‘ it’ or too feminine terms I’m fine.” He lifted an eyebrow to quietly sass Vaggie for calling him ‘it’ moments ago, to which she winced a bit and mumbled an apology.

He nodded and winked to sign his forgiveness and continued “I don’t really have much of a plan; I had to touch base with you now because they’re moving fast and I’m not sure if I should slow them down or quicken the pace. Both have pros and cons, but it’d be bad if you didn’t want your dad in a relationship.” He chuckled to lighten his announcement.

“They're making moves??” The girl’s expression would make you think he informed her politely that every demon has been redeemed and is waiting in Heaven to throw her a big party.

“More or less, you had to see them making dinner together, if I had teeth I’d get cavities.” The shadow laughed lowly, careful to not wake Alastor “But this all comes around to the second reason I had to speak to you- even if it’s still kinda about matchmaking.”

“I’m helping, whatcha need?” Vaggie sighed and vowed to give her girlfriend another lecture on not promising to help or do ‘anything’ when she doesn’t know what is being asked of her.

“I think I can trust you to not share this, please don’t go spreading this around.” Umbre’s lips trembled in amusement as the shadow guessed the reason for the angel’s slightly exasperated exhale, but he continued his request as the princess’ naivety only aided him “Al has trust issues a mile wide. Because he trusted the wrong person once, and it led to his 7 year disappearance. I was… somewhat involved, so I know all about it.” He paused a moment before proceeding as he felt sharing this bit of information was for the best “He thought they’d keep their word but instead… They tricked him and kept him imprisoned for all the time he was missing.”

Twin stares were the only response to his shocking revelation “I know, right? The big and scary Radio Demon was taken and kept for 7 years, how did he escape?” He intoned dramatically, acting like a storyteller “... well, he didn’t.” He finished much more somberly.

“I can’t share it all because the Contract has no loopholes on a bunch of things, including that people close to him can’t tell who he has a Contract with, what for, where he was kept for all those years… and I can’t say much because that’ll trigger stuff, too. But I can tell you this; the real reason he came to the hotel is because he needed help to get out of the Contract he was forced into, and well, you’re the princess of hell, so there was a non-zero chance you could and would do something for him.” He shrugged, turning his hands palm up like he was balancing the things he was talking about, “But the Deal that landed him in trouble means that he has a lot of trouble trusting people, that includes to start relationships, so if we don’t do this right he might freak out and run.” He finished, mimicking throwing everything up and away at the word ‘run’.

“He’s stuck in a Contract? What for?” She frowned.

“As I said, I can’t tell you the ‘Whys’ and ‘Whos’; he didn’t escape- he was let go because we tricked Them into thinking he had no more use.” The specter breathed deeply and looked at the blonde very seriously, “Alastor’s restrictions are stronger than mine, he can’t say anything about any of it. I can say that it was for his soul and that he needs help.”

Charlie was floored, the reason the radio demon came to the hotel was for help. But he couldn't ask for it directly; so he stayed to try and get it anyway.

“I know this is a whole lot to take in at once this late at night, and I’m sorry princess, but after spending all this time with you, as much as both me and Al consider you a real friend now, I know you don’t have the training necessary to help him.” He spoke quickly when he saw she was about to protest ” Personally . You can’t help him yourself . But, well, not only is Al interested in your father, I’m quite sure Lucifer could help my friend. So I’m warning you now, for my respect of you as a friend, that my utmost goal is to get them together since they like each other, but also I want my fawn to be able to be himself fully again, and the best way to do that is by setting him up with the biggest powerhouse that I can find.”

“I... I‘m not sure I agree with that.”

“Don’t worry, you don't have to make any decision on if you’ll help me right now. And hell, I’m not saying that I’m using your father, I’m just being a little opportunistic, you’ll see what I mean when you see them together.” he laughed “They almost look like they’re already married, Alastor put so much effort into being mean to Lucifer but the truth is that he thinks your father is really cute.'' The shadow exaggerated the facts to convince the girl into helping him, he needed to make sure the two would fall fast for each other so the deer wouldn’t have time to be scared of his own emotions.

“Ok, I'll see how it is tomorrow.” The girl tentatively agreed.

“That’s all I ask. Thank you, princess.” The shadow made a show of bowing to her in gratitude.

“Call me Charlie.” She corrected, not comfortable being treated as royalty by any of her friends, even if she wasn't sure about Umbre's intentions with her father.

The shadow straightened and nodded, bidding the women good night before leaving to his “shared suite” with Alastor. This conversation went as well as he could have hoped for.

Hopefully his majesty will do as promised and make pancakes for Alastor, that would be just what he needed to convince the girl of how the two were attracted to each other.

Notes:

Friendly reminder that Charlie’s problem is with Umbre here, she thinks Alastor is only in love with her dad, and the only one who wants to use her father is Umbre.
just in case I didn't make that clear in there :P

Chapter 15: Not even one day has passed since the Extermination

Summary:

Hopefully his majesty will do as promised and make pancakes for Alastor, that would be just what he needed to convince the girl of how the two were attracted to each other.

When the shade left, a concerned Vaggie turned to Charlie, holding her hand and guiding her to sit on the corner of their bed. Today was all too much; the fight against the Exorcists, Pen’s death and Alastor’s injury, Alastor’s quarrel with Husk, catching him apologizing, and now his shadow coming to suddenly ask for help because apparently someone out there decided to take the Radio Demon’s damned fucking soul and he might have a crush on Lucifer.

And they can’t just go to sleep yet, they have to be on the same page because Vaggie has a feeling that tomorrow is going to be another episode of the soap opera their lives are now.

While the fallen angel was looking for the words to begin, the princess managed to speak first. “So, Vaggie, what a… different request we got, huh?”

Vaggie leaned forward, eyebrows furrowed, “Yeah, today just doesn't seem to end.” She smiled tiredly at her girlfriend’s snort and mumble of ‘You can say that again.’, before continuing “I'm not sure it's the right move for us.”

Charlie caressed the hand holding her own “I get where you're coming from, Vaggie. But I really think we should consider it. Al needs help and my dad could finally start moving on and being happy again.”

The one-eyed girl shook her head gently and contradicted “Is it really that simple, though? I know it seems tempting, Charlie. But have you thought of the risks? If it doesn't work out how we hope? Umbre even admitted he’s asking to set them up for Alastor’s own gain.” 

“I know. It’s sudden, and yesterday life seemed like it was being written by a completely different author.” The princess sighed, “But I have this feeling we'll regret it if we don't give it a shot.”

Her lover replied, troubled “I understand you want to take a leap of faith, you’re all about second chances, and I love you for it. But we've worked so hard to get where we are now. I don't want to see us throw it all away on something that might- might be a plan against you.”

Her warning reminded the half angel of how people keep telling her to distrust the deer demon, but in the end he was often kind, guiding and aiding in her hotel and personal life. It lit a flame of determination on the blonde, who turned earnest eyes to her companion “I hear you, Vaggie. And I value your opinion more than anyone's. But, c’mon, Al’s been with us for a while now! Is he even half as bad as the rumors say? Didn’t he help time and again while he’s been here? I believe we can make this work. We always find a way to overcome obstacles together.”

Vaggie paused at her words, hesitant but softening with her argument “I guess you're right, maybe he’s not so bad. We’ve been through a lot together, and we've come out stronger. But you know I don’t trust easy, so just… promise me you’ll be careful, whatever your decision.”

She placed her other hand on top of Vaggie's to further reassure her “I know it's scary, Vaggie. But I can feel it in my bones; this will be good for us, for all of us.” she finished with certainty.

The white haired girl sighs, contemplating her life choices “Okay, Hon. If you're sure about this, then I trust you. Let's give it a shot.” She finally decided, pulling their joined hands to kiss the back of her girlfriend’s palm.

Charlie gratefully hugged her, happy they reached an agreement “Thank you, Vaggie. I promise I won't let you down. We'll tackle this together, just like we always do.”

The two share a heartening smile and finish getting ready for bed so they can at last sleep.

— Bet you thought the day was over —

Husk had many regrets over the course of his existence.

From when he was still alive he regrets drinking as much as he did; regrets spending so much of his money on useless bets; cheating, both in his games and in his relationship. Regrets how he dealt with the situation when his at-the-time girlfriend dumped him for his bad habits.

After death, his remorses came from his actions as an Overlord.

The worst part, what filled him with the most guilt now, is how long it took for him to regret it all. When he first appeared in hell, he was like a fish in water, his bad habits were badges of honor for the degenerate. His light paws and ease at hiding aces guaranteed his safety and prestige as they helped him accumulate power. He used to fuck some pretty thing when the mood strook him down here, but after the third time he woke up with lighter pockets he swore that off.

Souls became nothing more than trading cards pretty quickly. Once, he heard that when you see people as things, heads start looking an awful lot like stepping stones. He’s ashamed that that is exactly what happened to him.

When Alastor caught him and made him his pet he felt- degraded. He felt pissed. He couldn’t believe someone dared to do to him something as humiliating as putting him on a leash.

The terms in his Contract were also absurd. He remembers how he was delusional enough back then to feel offended that there were added protections for him . He can’t be deprived of food, water or sleep? What kind of weakling is this asshole taking him for?

As time wore on, and he couldn’t find a way out, but wasn’t punished severely for many things he used to beat his souls for he even started thinking that maybe the Radio Demon was weak.

Honestly, he wonders if Power can be considered a strong drug. It sure gave him a trip.

After one too many mouthy days, Alastor just dragged him to one of his broadcasts and made him watch. The piece of shit he had captured kept trying to summon his Contracted to take his place in the torture chamber, over and over attempting to get any other soul to face his death sentence.

That shut him up pretty fast. Suddenly those protections stipulated in his contract were a damn sight for sore eyes. Nobody could force him to be collateral for the Radio Demon.

Suddenly, not being forced to star on those podcasts didn't hurt his pride. It did hurt his head trying to understand why he was spared, though. That’s the thing with Alastor. You don’t get him, you think you might be starting to and that’s when he throws another curve ball at you.

He spent decades trying and has yet to come even close to a stalemate in any kind of mind game against the fucker. The only thing he managed to trick the bastard with is emotions, the cat apparently could hide almost anything behind an annoyed mask.

Which is why he’s worried, because his time at this shit hole hotel did soften him up. The 7 years of freedom from his leash made him start back on his old path; accumulating souls, betting and drinking. Then a couple months here and somehow he begins to realize that being sober wasn’t so bad, that forcing others on his heel doesn’t feel so good when you know one of the people who has to crawl under a bastard personally, that gambling has yet to give him anything that he didn’t regret later.

Maybe Hazbin won’t ever redeem a soul, but it could still be the best thing to come out of hell. And he has no idea what's the motivation behind the Radio Demon’s interest in this little oasis. There’s just no way he was protecting the place and the princess out of any sort of goodwill.

So he tried the only thing that worked once or twice to at least give him a hint when it comes to the Smiling Enigma, making him angry and seeing what he says and does when he’s furious (the only time when he’s not thinking 50 steps ahead).

It’s how he managed to bypass the term that says he can’t try to harm or kill Alastor and tell Lucifer to not fix his cane. He wasn’t attempting to get him hurt, just making him incensed and careless with his words.

And then came dinner time and he saw the demon using the tact he used again and again to fuck people over, so he had to intervene. The most discreet way was easy to set; the bastard always got offended when people didn't eat his food.

He spent the whole time not even touching his fork, he put his money on that as soon as everyone was done eating he would get his ass handed to him by a fuming deer, but at least the others wouldn’t be involved and there were chances he’d get a clue to what the lunatic wanted with the only good thing in hell.

He lost his bet. Instead, he was pulled and humiliated in front of everyone; his regrets listed and his own hypocrisy highlighted and underlined in metaphorical neon colors.

It’s not like the souls he sent to bigger monsters than Alastor didn’t deserve what they got. The thing about owning souls is that after a while you learn what vices sent them to hell, just because you spend enough time together to get that kind of information. The worst offenders often get lynched in prison, he was just continuing tradition, and he knows the deer approved af that, at least. But he didn’t argue, he knew it’d only double his punishment. Best to accept the shit show while it’s only airing his dirty laundry.

He wonders what Angel thinks of him now; it’s one thing to know he used to be an Overlord, it’s another to come to terms that he was still acting like one until he was called to part time as the fucked up barman-slash-therapist.

He ate the pancakes robotically, not really seeing or hearing anything. He got nothing from pissing off his boss this time, just a stain on his chest and on his reputation among the ragtag group he has been internally calling friends. He holed up underneath his alcohol counter with his cheap booze as soon as he was done with the sweets. Either nobody noticed, or they pretended to not see him go to lay on the floor.

Betting never gets him anything he doesn’t regret later.

— This day ends when I say it ends —

After Alastor left the kitchen in a bit of a flustered hurry (at least Lucifer thinks that was what happened, hoped and wanted it to be what happened, because if it was then that could mean the butterflies in his stomach also are plaguing the deer) the seraphim took a last look around the welcoming and warm room; it felt stifling moments ago when he thought he had once more screwed up and acted like the fool his ex-wife called him time and again, but the words and actions of the Overlord made the space feel safe once more, like when they built it earlier. He exited and started to head to his room for the night.

It was surprising. The longer he actually spent with the radio demon the more it became obvious that his previous relationship was full of inconsistent conditions.

You're the cream in my coffee~ You're the salt in my stew~ You will always be my necessity, I'd be lost without you. She’d sing when she was happy, but he doesn’t remember her ever serenading a love song, telling him he was missed, wanted, always needed .

“You were crying?” She was always going on and on about how he never paid her moods attention to prevent them from getting bad, but she never was there for him when he was sad, she never cared when he cried, just demanded he stop and fix whatever it was already.

“My apologies. I didn’t mean to distress you.” Not only was she never emotionally there for him when he was feeling at his worst, when she made him miserable he had to apologize to her.

“That fight was in no way, sense or form, your fault.” She always insisted it was all his fault. “My emotions aren’t your responsibility.” Even as things only got bad or worse because of her. “I came to apologize to you for me souring the celebration. And now I see I also need to apologize for upsetting you.” If she even bothered to apologize it’d be ‘Sorry you got upset.’ “Your Majesty- Lucifer. I am sorry.” Never did she show remorse for her actions and words.

 “I’ll help you, no reason for you to do it alone.” He doesn’t remember her ever doing something unprompted with him just because. Just so he wouldn’t have to do it alone.

“Taste the actual part you made from scratch? I am aware.” She didn’t appreciate the small things he did. It all had to be grand and eye-catching with her.

He entered his quarters and turned on the radio before readying for and laying on his bed, closing his eyes and enjoying the now calming static sounds as he drifted off.

Chapter 16: It’s technically a new day

Summary:

He entered his quarters and turned on the radio before readying for and laying on his bed, closing his eyes and enjoying the now calming static sounds as he drifted off.

Hopefully the link will load properly and the lot of you will get a visual aid for what I mean about the balconies of Lucifer's and Alastor's rooms in the rebuilt Hazbin Hotel

—

Alastor woke up silently but abruptly exactly 2 hours after he went to sleep, it was now around 1AM. He laid there in the apple scented nest of duck themed blankets, staring at the ceiling before cursing mentally and standing, slipping on a burgundy robe over his pajamas, for once wanting to feel comfortable during the quiet night instead of dressing for the day.

He decided to waste some time while enjoying a good view. Both his and Lucifer’s quarters were connected by a long sundeck, with the best view the hotel had to offer. There was a passageway dividing the terrace but the doors at both ends of it were open and he didn’t bother to close them. It was made with the purpose of giving them space and highground to defend the building, but it afforded privacy, and was a nice feature in times of peace, he supposed.

Moving to the balcony of his room he leaned his elbows on the railing to watch the still very awake Pentagram City bursting with lights from neon signs or explosions or maybe even both, full of energy after the first successfully thwarted Extermination in all of hell’s history, and allowed his thoughts to roam on the reason he was currently awake while even his shadow was out cold in the darkness beneath his bed, even as he was, admittedly, exhausted after the big fight against heaven.

The Contract he was forced to take on was directly to his detriment in many ways; his minder wanted him weak, as such many of the terms were made to keep him tired.

He was not allowed to cook for himself, nobody he had a Deal or Contract with could make his food either, he was not allowed to clean himself with his own hands, he was not allowed to sleep more than 2 hours every 3 days. Those and other terms were made as a mockery of his own clauses that stipulated the protection and basic necessities of the souls under his thumb.

They wanted him delirious from sleep deprivation, filthy and stuck between starvation and the paranoia of eating from someone he didn’t and couldn’t trust to not poison or drug him. He can even imagine that right now they are picturing him crawling on the floor in some alley, no dignity or reputation left. They needed hell to panic wondering what could degrade The radio demon to that state.

Sadly for them, they didn’t research him properly before making the rules he had to follow. They were banking on him being to weak to cannibalize other sinners and didn’t know he could eat even putrid meat without repercussions, didn’t know he knew spells to wash himself (even if they were inferior to a good shower or brushing his teeth, he refused to smell like a bum), didn't know he preferred to sleep only 2 hours daily, and could go longer still before feeling the effects of lack of rest. Didn’t know he was faking a deplorable state until after he knew he was no longer under surveillance.

Their mistake was assuming he was incapable of swallowing his pride in front of his enemies. He just had to falsify symptoms while under their watch. Pretend to be seeing and hearing things, to be unable to move, wide his eyes and stay on his knees when they come to punish him for whatever perceived slight.

He was mixed-black born in the 1890s, and a soul who prospered in hell for almost a century; he knew how to act to save his life.

Sighing, he contemplated going inside to grab his pipe to at least have something to do other than stargaze, though another option would be sneaking in the office to do more paperwork he’s quite sure Charlie has been putting off again.

But he wasn’t really in the mood to smoke and the second alternative implicated he needed to put on actual clothes and considering the whole hotel was blown apart there were even chances that the papers were destroyed either way, and who would bother to reproduce them after?

Truly, sheer boredom will always be his biggest enemy. Nobody took account of just how much time one gets when they sleep as little as he does, there’s simply not enough things to occupy the hours of the day.

Suddenly his ear twitched as he heard noises coming from Lucifer’s room. He inclined his head in curiosity and approached, deciding to spy what his majesty was up to at this time of night to make such a racket. Passing throught the two doorways to the opposite side, he saw that his glassdoor to the porch was left open and peeked inside. The king was tossing and turning in his sleep, tying himself in his sheets; what he heard was most probably the mess caused by the wings that had popped out of the small back, flapping and hitting objects that had been on the bedside table as he unconsciously tried to free himself.

He debated leaving now that he satiated his inner cat, but he felt rooted on the spot. The blonde had a pained and scared expression as he twisted knots on his covers, feeding his nightmares with the idea he was unable to move.

And somehow he felt responsible; maybe the stress he caused at dinner was the cause of the night terror, it certainly affected the other enough to bring him to tears.

Doing the kitchen to look like a replica of his childhood home wasn’t such a good idea, he realized. Entering to see Lucifer’s looking frail and teary transported him straight back to one of his strongest memories of his mother while she was still alive, weeping on the counter over bills and a letter from his shitty father stating he had run away with a new lover, leaving them with his debts and nothing more. Much like now, he’s reminded of his mama sleeping on the couch of their new one-bedroom home when they had to sell the old one to pay for the “heirloom” of that fucker.

He’s starting to think that Charlie may have been truly blessed by the queen’s decision to abandon her, if the parallels he's drawing of his father and Lilith, and of his mother and Lucifer are any indication.

He couldn’t resist any more when the monarch started whimpering words that sounded like his ex-wife’s name accompanied by pleas for her to stop, and basically teleported to his side before once more hesitating as he tried to avoid three pairs of wings, remembering the strong reaction touching them had garnered earlier.

He then noticed the radio that had been knocked aside near his foot, and decided that it’d be better to put a soothing music before attempting to comfort someone, as he was very much not in the habit of doing such things, maybe a song could bridge his own inexperience.

He hurriedly made the wireless play a melody he recalled his mother humming to him whenever he had bad dreams and then gently approached Lucifer, pulling at the covers, as he thought that being untied would work to his peace of mind better than anything he tried to say in an attempt to be pacifying.

His plan seemed to work, as slowly the blonde calmed his jerks and even slower blinked awake, vision clearly adjusting to the darkness quickly for they soon were gazing into each other’s eyes as his expression went from fear to confusion at finding Alastor beside him in place of whatever horror he’d been plagued with. “Huh?” He intoned, finishing unbinding himself from the covers.

“I, ah, excuse my intrusion. I heard noises and saw you were having a nightmare.” He spoke gesturing to the open varande entrance, doing an excellent job of making his voice not sound as awkward as he felt from this entire interaction.

The king blinked in realization, mouth in an ‘o’ shape, looking to the balcony then back and adjusting his position to sit appropriately against the headboard “Thank you.”

“No need.” He responded absently as a strange heavy silence settled between them.

After a moment the fallen angel finally clumsily continued, running his fingers over his hair, aiming to tame his bedhead “You , uh… what were you doing awake, again?”

“I… need significantly less sleep than most do. I was mostly just willing the hours away like I usually do at this time of night.” He debated lying, but something about catching the archangel in such a vulnerable state convinced him to be honest for the moment.

“Oh, how convenient. I need the full 8 hours. Much like a human does.” The blonde responded, fascinated in the biological difference.

The deer demon snorted, amused at the opposite opinion to his own “Be thankful, it’s really boring having so many extra hours in the day. I often read books, but it’s not like those don’t get tiresome too.” He said as he carried the radio back to the bedside table and then leaned his back on it, half sitting on the sturdy furniture.

“C’mooon, you had decades to get used to that! you gotta have night hobbies, right?” Lucifer ribbed playfully, unthinkingly poking the sinner lightly on his arm.

“I do, but now that I’ve been living in the hotel I try to be minimally mindful of the fact that others still need to sleep.” The hotelier ignored the casual touch, half surprised that it hadn’t bothered him at all. “I’ve been trying to find a good permanent soundproofing spell to add to my room so I can partake in some of those hobbies, actually.”

“Really? What for?” The devil asked interestedly as he criss-crossed his legs and leaned his elbows on his knees, then rested his head on his hands.

Usually, someone showing this much nosiness would get at the very least bitten by the radio demon. He rarely cares to share with others details about himself that can be used against him, much less after having been betrayed and imposed into a Contract.

But maybe he had finally lost his mind, because he couldn’t see any malice in the eyes of the man before him, his question sounded friendly, his expression open… he answered truthfully almost inadvertently “Besides playing music through out the night? I found decades ago a marvelous spell that can create a… it’s like a pocket dimension, linked to a real place. I have a real bayou in my room, I used to hunt when alive and continued as soon as I got the magic down. But shotguns make a lot of noise as you can imagine.” He could feel his smile turning genuine as he spoke. Maybe the angelic wound made him sick?

The angel perked up and complimented “Ooh, that’s pretty advanced for a soul not even a century old! I know a muffling charm that can work well enough for what you need.” Then continued nervously “Uh, that is, if you want my help, of course.”

Not expecting the suggestion, the deer demon blinked “Your Majesty-”

“Call me Lucifer, remember?” Reminded the blonde.

“Yes, of course…” He could feel his eyebrow tick minutely at the interruption, but he carried on “Lucifer I haven’t even repaid your last favor yet, I can’t accept this.” He might be losing his marbles in this conversation but he will not own Favors to anyone. Not again.

“You woke me from my nightmare.” The smaller man argued.

The radio demon very much did not agree, closing and pinching between his eyes as if to stave off a headache from the statement, he contradicted “Teaching magic is infinitely more valuable than just- waking you up.”

The archangel seriously insisted “Not to me…C’mon, Al. I want to repay you, too.” He finished, unwittingly making the same pleading eyes Charlie did whenever she was asking for something unreasonable like his participation in one of her silly exercises.

Alastor wanted to deny, he didn’t want to add to his debt before he had a chance to pay off the last one, so he stayed silent as he hesitated.

Chapter 17: Are you tired yet?

Summary:

Alastor wanted to deny, he didn’t want to add to his debt before he had a chance to pay off the last one, so he stayed silent as he hesitated.

Notes:

I updated with a new DLC chapter :D It isn't anything deeply important to the plot, but I had fun writing it lol

Sensing the reluctance, the monarch started leaning forward, automatically moving his wings to balance the movement “Pleeease- ouch .” The small adjustment pinched some of the feathers that were bent out of shape during his nightmarish struggle “Oh, great, this again.” He frowned at the angelic members.

“What is this?” The radio demon asked, also frowning at the ruffled limbs.

“I moved around too much, and now a bunch of my feathers got misaligned. Ugh, this will take all night to fix.” The blonde complained looking much like a bird while inspecting the quills.

At the reply, the sinner didn't immediately respond, silently contemplating his next words, before humming and saying “I'll help you, then.”

“Eh?” The small man turned to look at the deer demon, head bent almost upside down from the way he was previously scrutinizing his appendages.

“If you insist on teaching me the muffling charm, then I'll only accept if I can repay you by helping with your scuffled wings.” He thought with how Lucifer acted when he touched them earlier that he'd surely deny him now and stop this nonsense of magical lessons for one wake up call, he knows very well how valuable those are. He won't be tricked like he was 7 years ago.

But the stars that exuded from the king gave him the impression that he miscalculated. “You’d really do that for me?” He said with shiny eyes.

“... Won't it make you uncomfortable..?” He was much more hesitant, it was now evident he had misunderstood something, he was certain the response would be at least much more negative to such a suggestion, based on the previous reactions.

“No, not at all! Grooming is a bonding activity for angels. Lili- uh, I mean, no one wanted to help me with them since I fell, because I can't treat them properly so they're a bit oily and that's kinda icky, I guess.” He said embarrassed, scratching his neck before hurriedly adding “I swear it's nothing disgusting or unhygienic, they're just… not perfect. Not like they used to be. You don’t have to force yourself, I understand if you don’t want to do it.” He ended in a sad tone.

Clearing his throat, he decided to just bite the bullet and get this venture done with “I proposed this, and I'm a man of my word.” ‘Grooming’ sounded like an intimate and very touchy affair, but he couldn't go back when he was the one to offer it, even if he didn't imagine he'd be taken on his proposal. At least it did sound like something equivalent as a Favor for the magic lesson “For what's worth, I found them very soft when I touched them earlier. Much like the blankets you conjured for me.” He spoke mostly to convince himself that this wouldn’t be so bad.

His comment however made the smaller man blush “Oh, yeah, I made them inspired by the most comforting things I could think of, haha…”

Not really shocked, the sinner snorted, “Is that why they were covered in ducklings and smelled of apples?”

“What if it is?” The king pouted, crossing his arms.

He replied smugly “Nothing at all Lucifer, just found it an interesting fact to know.” Alastor felt tempted for a brief moment to squish the rosy cheeks of the blonde, along with his entire face, as his defiant expression reminded him of a fragile hamster. 

The royal Fidgeted “Well, if you're sure about helping with my wings…” He waited for a nod from the hotelier before continuing “Then I guess I should show you how to groom them. Here.” He angled his body and placed one of the fluffy limbs between them “The concept is the same all over, I just can't reach the ones further in my back, so I’ll like the help there the most.” He explained as he delicately straightened the feathers that were obviously out of place, from their base he seemed to be removing excess oil and at the same time spreading it more uniformly as he went through their length. “You basically just need to unbent them.”

He paid attention to the motions. I won't do a shit job, not if it'll be to pay for the king's Favor. he thought. After watching him do two other feathers he chose one that Lucifer could see and mimicked his gestures. “Like this?” He confirmed, and at the monarch’s nod he moved and made himself comfortable on the bed, right behind the archangel, and started doing the same on the plumes that looked like they would be more difficult to reach.

As he worked, the deer demon noticed that although the skin contact at the base of the quill was peculiar, simply caressing the soft fluffy and forward was not unpleasant. He caught himself wondering if laying on them would be as relaxing, especially when compared to his nest. It’d still smell of apples. He concluded humorously.

After repeating the process over thirty times, Alastor got bored. It truly was tedious just doing the same thing again and again, so in a bit of a fit, he ran his hand up the wing he was treating, gently ruffling many feathers on the way, as he knew from experience he just needed to run his fingers down to fix his mischief.

“Eep!” He was rewarded with the little royal arching his back, wings all doubling in size as they fluffed from the sensation “Damn it, Alastor! Are you helping or making things worse??”

“Oh, do calm down. All I have to do is this-” He said as he gently passed his claws over the soft texture. The wings truly acted exactly as he expected, feathers calming and moving back to their previous positions. It actually seemingly helped, as many quills that were only slightly out of place settled properly from his handiwork.

The reflexive trembling breath from the blonde made Alastor note he misread the reaction from earlier, it wasn’t revulsion or ticklishness but more akin to overstimulation. Probably from not being touched for too long, his king couldn’t take this much contact so suddenly.

Chuckling, he went back to treating the bent plumes, intrigued that they only needed to be manually tidied for them to be good as new. The hand motions also reminded him of the couple of times he helped his ma gel her hair when she wanted to look perfectly put together.

He maintained pace, until he went for a feather that was in the middle of Lucifer’s back. Clearly, the fallen archangel couldn’t reach the area at all, if the state of the tangled fuzz there was any indication. It was also demonstrated by the fact that as soon as he started smoothing the quill, it was plucked right out.

He blinked and paused with the small thing in his hand, half waiting for another admonition from Lucifer. When none came, he continued, now focused on neatening the fluff between the royal’s shoulder blades.

Many feathers fell as soon as he uncoiled them, prompting him to notice that they actually all looked older and less glossy, they were probably supposed to fall naturally and got stuck with the still healthy plumes, but since they were out of the monarch's range, he couldn’t remove them, making a bit of a clutter back here.

He was making a small mound of them when he decided that it be faster to once again fluff the wings. Not thinking twice about it he simply said “Excuse me, Sire.” And dragged both his hands from the small of the blonde’s back all the way to his neck.

The king let out a surprised moan, body undulating and wings shivering as they doubled in size “Alastor!” He complained blushing.

“It’s just to be more efficient, Sire.” He proved his point by detaching several dead feathers; with them all ruffled he could distinctly see which were loose and in need of disposal. He had to repeat the process twice more before he managed to remove all of them, as his king relaxed unconsciously and his wings settled. He did a third run of his claws up the pale back just because the gasping and quivering reaction continued to amuse him to check he didn’t miss any, then brushed them down “There, all loose feathers gone.”

Lucifer twisted to look at the shockingly large pile of plumes, doing a double take at the amount, then blinked and snorted, snapping his fingers to conjure a white pillowcase and started to place all the fluff inside it, magically sealing the entrance once he was done “There!” He said, handing it to the sinner.

“Pardon?” The radio demon grabbed the cushion instinctively “What am I to do with it?” He asked, looking at it with a lifted eyebrow.

“You will not manage to convince me that you don’t want an angel feather pillow. I feel like it’s exactly like you to want something like that, even if just for the shock factor- ‘Oh, this pillow? It’s made of angel feathers, from the devil himself!’. I bet you’d say that.” The blonde smirked.

Now looking at the pillow contemplatively, he hummed “That would be amusing-” He ignored the soft ‘Knew it!’ he heard from the monarch “Very well, you persuaded me. As this would just be discarded otherwise, I’ll accept this.” He snapped his fingers to make the material black to fit the color scheme of his room.

Blushing pleasantly, the royal nodded “How are the bent feathers coming along? Are there still many?”

Concentrating back to the task at hand, the hotelier put the pillow beside himself and studied the angelic members once more “... Not many, no. It seems that shaking your wings got most things back in place, but is that ok? I thought we needed to spread that oil over the feathers?”

“Not really, the oil just appears when the quills get damaged, you’re supposed to spread it as you fix them for them to stay healthy for longer. It makes sense that all that movement did a good enough job of it.” He responded, noticing that in the areas he could reach there were also just a couple more plumes still bent, ones he had seen had gotten the worst damage before.

“Didn’t you know that before?” Alastor asked curiously, he would have thought that being an entity with tens of thousands of years of life, that he’d know something so apparent about the gigantic wings that were quite literally an essential part of his body.

“Not really? There wasn’t a lot of fighting up in heaven, as you may guess, and I didn’t even know I could shiver and fluff my wings until you did that.” He admitted. “It’s not like anybody ever decided to just massage them like that before.”

“I see.” Said the broadcaster. It most certainly wasn’t his king’s intention, but that phrase alone told a lot about his relationship with the queen of hell.

Notes:

Reminder that the 6th DLC extra chapter is up!

Chapter 18: Pillow talk

Summary:

“I see.” Said the broadcaster. It most certainly wasn’t his king’s intention, but that phrase alone told a lot about his relationship with the queen of hell.

Notes:

¹ I didn't even think about it, but in this chapter there is a line that only makes full sense if you read Chapter Extra 3, of my DLCs chapters, so be sure to check it out. I mean, you can probably deduce what I mean by the context, but if you simply decided to not to read the other piece of this series at all, you'll feel like you missed a bit of info I think. I put the link at the line where the Extra chapter brings context.

² Music of this chapter is INFATUATION
The link will start at 0:14

They kept in silence for a bit longer before finishing the last of the still-bent feathers, which took less than 10 minutes. Finally the Overlord asked “And how often do angels groom each other?”

The archangel blinked, not expecting the question “Uh… once each month, more or less.”

Alastor knew what he was about to propose would establish them in a very long Exchange of Favors, it could only lead to either a long standing alliance or an eternal feud. But something in him refused to let those matters be.

“Then,” He started, avoiding the inquisitive eyes of his king “Could I suggest we repeat this every month?”

For several seconds, Lucifer stared at him in silence. He could feel the monarch’s keen gaze trying to corral him into no longer shying from him. “Alastor. Look at me.” He stiffened at the serious tone only to relax at a much gentler word that came after “Please.”

He turned his face so they could explore each other's expressions, the atmosphere heavy with their moment. The blonde then modestly held his hand, just his fingertips touched in a timid grasp that he could escape at any moment. Strangely, he didn’t feel the need to slip from it.

“That’s a nice Favor.” The angel visibly swallowed “What would you like in Exchange?”

Alastor closed his eyelids and forced his shoulders to untense. He knew exactly what he wanted for his Favor.

He couldn’t ask for it. He was not allowed to. Because of that cursed, damned, fucking Contract.

He can only ask for something entirely vague and pray that somehow it’ll be answered. That it’ll be enough. “Don’t betray me. Don’t…” Why was he even bothering? He knows the archangel wasn’t bound in the Favor Exchange, not like he, as a sinner, would be “Don’t deceive me.”

Lucifer’s other hand lightly caressed his cheek, his ear twitched from the sudden sensation, but he still didn’t dare open his eyes “I…” his voice sounded much closer than moments ago, like his face had neared “I like those conditions a lot. But it seems unfair to you, a Favor wouldn’t affect me… But I have an idea.” His king stopped speaking for a second, probably waiting for some reaction, he received none as the deer barely breathed “You help with my wings, when you want and have free time to do so. I won’t betray you, and I won’t deceive you.” The words were almost whispers directly against his lips “Deal?”

Alastor’s eyes shot open, shiny with hope, his hand not held by Lucifer coming to lay atop the one on his cheek and this time it was his breath that trembled from the actions of the blonde. “You- are you stupid? A massage for your forced loyalty? Won’t you at least demand the same?”

“I don’t feel I need to demand it.” Now that he could see, the broadcaster could discern the kind smile directed at him “I’m quite sure you’ll devote it to me even with the freewill I plagued humanity with allowing you to choose otherwise.”

Plagued. That would never be the word he’d use to describe it. He’d hate to permit anyone to call it such, even the devil himself. “Freewill was the biggest blessing ever granted to humanity.”

“I literally made hell by doing it.” The smaller one pointed out.

“Evil existed before we could recognize it. Animals also know how to kill just for entertainment, males know how to forcefully couple with females, stronger creatures know how to subjugate the weak to give themselves more sway. Ignorance wouldn’t absolve humanity from doing evil, just stop us from understanding it was done. Choosing not to do evil brings people joy. Thinking on how to be better is what made us human.” He pratically ranted, but he would not let Lucifer speak so badly of the gift that guaranteed humans even could form souls. Without the free will and knowledge, they'd be the same as any animal, at the end of their lifetime, no matter how meaningful, they'd just discipate into the ether¹. Each and everyone of them, even the winners in heaven, owe their afterlifes to the devil.

His king blushed and laughed breathlessly “You say that, but humanity did some pretty fucked up shit since I gave them freewill. Still I always hated taking it from people, always will. So, all that being said; help with my wings, whenever you can and want, and I won’t betray you, I won’t deceive you. Deal?”

The hotelier could almost cry with joy. Yes, of course the snake would hate to take away the ability to choose from a sinner, wouldn’t he? “Deal.” The word was choked out from how glad he was, as he felt the magic settle and tie them in a Deal that’ll last for as long as they live. No matter how his Contract fucks him over, he’ll have one sure thing to fall back on.

Differently from Charlie’s, this Deal didn’t make the entire hotel tremble, although it was as powerful, if not more. They weren’t desperate for what each other would provide right now, it was a storm compared to a calm ocean, instead of shaking everything around them he could feel it flowing into his bones.

Blinking his eyes open (when had he closed them?), Alastor looked at Lucifer, who still touched him, held his hands, sitting forward with his face so close. Yet he didn’t feel the urge to add space between them, didn’t feel claustrophobic with the other inside his personal bubble. “Thank you.”

“What for?” His king asked in a low voice, matching his tone.

“Peace of mind, I guess.” The radio demon didn’t know he could feel so exposed, so unguarded, yet still safe. Not like he was invincible, it was just that he was fully relaxed and there was nothing dangerous around him.

The angel huffed amusedly “Then, thank you, too.” His wings flapped a bit, before he suddenly yawned.

Noticing that their whole depluming process and Deal took the better part of 2 hours, the sinner said “Hmm, this seems to be my cue. You clearly need sleep, mon ange.”

Blushing, the angel yawned again “Yeah. It’s, wow, three in the morning! I need some Zs if I’m going to be making your pancakes for breakfast.”

“You can sleep in, pancakes for brunch aren’t uncommon.” He tried to compromise.

“Nah, sleeping-in late throws off my schedule. But before I sleep, I’ll just go quickly add the muffling spell in your room.” The smaller man tried to get up and head to the other’s room, only to be stopped from even standing by a hand calmly placed in his chest.

“No.” He spoke firmly and pushed him back in bed “You will go to sleep. Tomorrow after breakfast you have all the time in the world to cast the spell.”

“But-”

“No buts!” Alastor interrupted “I know your type, if you get up from this bed you’ll only lay back down tomorrow night. Leave the matters of morning for after the sun’s come up.” He all but ordered while tucking his king in his, surprise of all surprises, duck themed covers.

“Well… fine.” Lucifer finally agreed, laying back in the bed.

Alastor gave the seraphim’s jaw one last caress as he saw his eyelids close, then grabbed his pillow and moved to the balcony, to head back into his own room. As soon as he entered back in, he tried to think of what else to do with the rest of the night, but all he really wanted was to enjoy the feeling of his Deal with Lucifer, still weighing his marrow, grounding him. Maybe he’ll just get comfortable back in his nest, even if can’t sleep, laying might be good for him.

He crawled over the covers, just the slightest bit less soft than the wings he spent over an hour combing, and curled around his new pillow, hugging it. Unconsciously he breathed in deeply, taking in the smell of the archangel, which emanated strongly from the cushion, and felt his muscles uncoil. And like this his mind drifted, emptied as if he was dreamlessly sleeping.

Hours later, when Umbre woke up he almost did a double take, thinking somehow Alastor managed to sleep in before noticing that he was awake, just soft and loose with comfort in a way he had never seen before. And with a new pillow?

The shade knocked thrice on the bed frame, to say ‘good morning’, and call friend’s attention.

“Good morning to you too, Umbre.” He said languidly, hazy eyes focused on the specter, as he was broken from his accidental meditative state. He hugged the pillow one last time then began to sit, so he could start his morning routine.

The shadow noticed the lazily happy tone and used a tendril to change the station on the nearby radio to ask on it “ Well, someone’s in a good mood today! What’s the occasion?”

“What indeed,” His indolent smile grew, but as soon as he opened his mouth to share of his midnight encounter with his king, the radio suddenly tuned wildly and played a song² he’d never heard before. Which isn’t that unusual, the wireless gaining life of its own when near him, but this time it started not at the very beginning, and the lyrics were certainly curious.

Love is the drug~All my diction disappears for him~(Ooh, and I need you now but it's infatuation)
And I've been listening too long to Lucifer~(Ooh, and I need you now, it's infatuation)
Something is wrong, this obscene occupation~What a drag to drag you down into infatuation

“What now?” Alastor questioned, confused, and if he could Umbre would have paled. That music was too on the nose! The shadow didn’t know what to do short of destroying the radio, but that wouldn’t work, so he wrapped his sinuous body around the deer and decided to have a very awkward talk about emotions with the other when the intention behind the rhythm dawned on his oblivious fawn.

Pale is the moon~Pay attention if you're counting stars~(Ooh, I need you now, it's infatuation)
'Cause Mephistopheles would love to leave you scars~(Ooh, I need you now, it's infatuation)
Something is wrong with this blank invitation~To retrieve your outworn evening gowns
Shooting my brain, little shots of salvation~What a drag to drag you down into infatuation

He watched as furry ears started lowering, likely understanding the meaning as ‘infatuation’ kept being repeated. The good news is that he wasn’t trembling and magic wasn’t leaking, so maybe he won’t explode and use anger to hide his true feelings?

Umbre jumped as the redhead quickly stood to turn the offending thing off, harsh movements almost breaking the radio. Damage control was the name of the game now. He’s glad he already set the princess into being in favor of her father’s soon-to-be new relationship, because there is absolutely no way he’ll let his friend walk out of this room without coming to terms with his crush on the tiny royal.

He tapped his fingers against the wood of the bed to make noise, he needed his friend to listen to him. The flickering of the ear gave away the fact that the Overlord wasn’t too worked up as to be unable to hear, which meant he could still be made to think clearly.

The shade touched the radio host’s ankle, to be sure he’d be paying attention to his frequency and catch what he had to say.

“I know, this seems kinda sudden to you, Al. But I had noticed the beginnings of this back when Lucifer came to the hotel. This is nothing bad. And! We can use this, c’mon. You trust me, right?” He spoke fast, hoping that Alastor would agree with him.

“What do you mean ‘use this’?” He zeroed on the exact words the shadow had hoped for.

Chapter 19: In the devil’s room, in the devil's mind

Summary:

I noticed only after posting chapter 17 that I neglected Lucifer’s POV, so I edited a couple of lines out of the original chapter (and some of chapter 18, but none of you saw that 😛), to add more to Lucifer’s perspective to what was going on in his room here

So since Alastor POV ended already on the next day, I decided to go ahead and post this chapter at the same time to connect the dots properly. That being said; enjoy the double update!

“You’d really do that for me?” Lucifer couldn’t believe he heard right, Lilith never wanted to hear talk about his wings and what was necessary to keep them healthy, but Alastor went right ahead and offered to help him groom? The same man that seemed so averse to touch when they first met that he didn’t even shake his hand, and opted to grab at his apple cane instead?

“... Won't it make you uncomfortable..?” The deer wondered hesitantly, and the fallen angel felt even more moved that the sinner wanted to be sure of his comfort for this.

“No, not at all! Grooming is a bonding activity for angels. Lili- uh, I mean, no one wanted to help me with them since I fell, because I can't treat them properly so they're a bit oily and that's kinda icky, I guess.” He didn’t want to imply it was the spouse’s responsibility to groom their partner, but he remembered all the times he’d ask for his wife’s help only to be denied with the explanation that they looked dirty which- “I swear it's nothing disgusting or unhygienic, they're just… not perfect. Not like they used to be. You don’t have to force yourself, I understand if you don’t want to do it.”

As he morosely reminisced about Lilith, Alastor cleared his throat “I proposed this, and I'm a man of my word. For what's worth, I found them very soft when I touched them earlier. Much like the blankets you conjured for me.” He complimented.

He knew he was blushing, but wing talk is very much viewed as sweet nothings to archangels “Oh, yeah, I made them inspired by the most comforting things I could think of, haha…”

The deer snorted, “Is that why they were covered in ducklings and smelled of apples?”

Crossing his arms and huffing, he challenged “What if it is?” The king pondered if he should tell he could smell the scent of apples very clearly on the other, too much for him to have used the blankets only earlier as he recuperated. Which meant he had kept the conjured comforters and likely even laid on them again.

Alastor's reply was smug, not knowing the other could perceive he slept in the apple-ducks nest. “Nothing at all Lucifer, just found it an interesting fact to know.” The retort was so typical of that asshole, that Lucifer could do nothing but chuckle, only to then pause and fidget a bit as he saw the intense stare he was subjected to after his contestation.

Finally unable to withstand the consuming expression directed at him, he turned matters back to what they were discussing previously “Well, if you're sure about helping with my wings…” He only continued after a confirmation  “Then I guess I should show you how to groom them. Here.” He straightened the feathers as he spoke, demonstrating how to oil them up for their overall health. “The concept is the same all over, I just can't reach the ones further in my back, so I’ll like the help there the most. You basically just need to unbent them.”

The sinner very attentively followed his motions and instructions, like the whole process was sumally important, and he didn’t want to risk messing it up. Then he carefully imitated the seraphim on one of the bent feathers “Like this?” and Lucifer nodded, swallowing dryly as Alastor moved to his back to keep tenderly brushing his wings.

He found it difficult to concentrate on his own progress as the barest movements of his plumes being fixed by someone else (someone he cared for and was trusting at his back kept) jumped to the forefront of his mind. More than once he noticed that the distraction made him close his eyes for a moment as he simply enjoyed the feeling of friendly hands on his angelic members. He doesn’t recall the last time he felt that. Maybe it was before his fall…

“Eep!” Suddenly he was brought out of his bittersweet memories by the feeling of his wings being ruffled “Damn it, Alastor! Are you helping or making things worse??”

“Oh, do calm down. All I have to do is this-” He said, moving his claws back over the expanse of the angel's back, sending shivers up and down his spine, and then went back to his self imposed task, like he wasn’t playing with Lucifer’s heartstrings.

The royal took a deep breath and resolved to keep working in silence, he could feel the hands on his wings moving to between his shoulder blades, focusing in there for now. Until the sinner simply said “Excuse me, Sire.” and began to assault his senses again, this time caressing his entire back, from tailbone to the nape of his neck.

“Alastor!” Lucifer moaned, unable to control himself as the pleasurable feeling was felt over his entire body.

“It’s just to be more efficient, Sire.” The cheeky sinner explained as he continued adjusting feathers. Now, every so often, he felt some pulling on his plumes, and he blushed furiously. Biting his lip to stop from making unholy noises as the deer went and stroked him again and again every time he was finally finishing riding the sensation he was evoking in him.

On the last fondling, the sinner seemed to take pity on him and petted his feathers down, calming him from the high he was driving him towards “There, all loose feathers gone.”

Lucifer hazily turned to look, only half listening to the words until he saw the amount of plumes now laying on his bed, the fact their removal didn’t hurt at all meant they truly were only stuck to his healthy quills. They’re enough to fill a pillow! He thought astounded, then snorted, deciding to fill a pillowcase to the sinner “There!”

“Pardon? What am I to do with it?” He asked, even as he took the pillow.

The blond proudly gestured to the cushion like it was a prize to Alastor “You will not manage to convince me that you don’t want an angel feather pillow. I feel like it’s exactly like you to want something like that, even if just for the shock factor- ‘Oh, this pillow? It’s made of angel feathers, from the devil himself!’. I bet you’d say that.”

He hummed, clearly already sold on the idea “That would be amusing- Very well, you persuaded me. As this would just be discarded otherwise, I’ll accept this.” Much to Lucifer’s delight, the deer even magiced the fabric of the pillow to be black, clearly intent on making it part of the exposed decoration of his own room.

Only then realizing he had just given a gift that would smell exactly like himself to the deer, basically marking to other angels as ‘taken’, the angel blushed slightly, but decided not to comment on his action, just nodding and asking “How are the bent feathers coming along? Are there still many?”

The deer took another look “... Not many, no. It seems that shaking your wings got most things back in place, but is that ok? I thought we needed to spread that oil over the feathers?”

“Not really, the oil just appears when the quills get damaged, you’re supposed to spread it as you fix them for them to stay healthy for longer. It makes sense that all that movement did it enough.” He responded, noticing that only the worst damaged feathers were still bent.

“Didn’t you know that before?” Alastor asked curiously, but without judgment.

“Not really? There wasn’t a lot of fighting up in heaven, as you may guess, and I didn’t even know I could shiver and fluff my wings until you did that. It’s not like anybody ever decided to just massage them like that before.” There weren’t many opportunities to learn of this particular quirk, his brothers weren’t much for tickle fights.

“I see.” The Overlord commented and went back to fixing the final plumes, not taking too long to finish the process of brushing them in place “And how often do angels groom each other?”

The archangel blinked, not expecting the question nor understanding what would be the reason to ask it “Uh… once each month, more or less.”

“Then,” Alastor seemed to hesitate for a moment before timidly asking “Could I suggest we repeat this every month?”

Lucifer was floored, was the sinner truly suggesting a long Exchange of Favors with him? He was under the impression that, like any other sinner, he tried to avoid having unpaid Favors with beings that wouldn’t be magically bound to keep their side of it, especially if it required routined meetings “Alastor. Look at me.” He noticed how the Overlord tensed at his tone, which had been harsher because of his surprise, and hurried to soften his voice “Please.”

The king held the deer’s hand, as he’d noticed that he tended to avoid skin contact, preferring quick moments of contact, but he felt the need to hold onto him like Alastor had done to him in the kitchen mere hours before. “That’s a nice Favor.” The angel began, noticing that the other didn’t make any move to separate them “What would you like in Exchange?”

He watched as Alastor closed his eyes with a resigned expression, like he already expected to not receive what he’d ask in the Exchange  “Don’t betray me. Don’t… Don’t deceive me.”

And Lucifer suddenly knew, with certainty, that he was misled before. That at one point he had a hellborn ally, maybe even a friend, and he trusted some piece of himself that was viciously taken from him. The king caressed his cheek, honored to be given this chance, this promise, for them “I… I like those conditions a lot. But it seems unfair to you, a Favor wouldn’t affect me… But I have an idea.” The royal didn’t even notice as he moved closer and spoke in a quieter tone, like he this moment should be only between them “You help with my wings, when you want and have free time to do so. I won’t betray you, and I won’t deceive you… Deal?”

The deer finally looked at him, hope and fear in his eyes as he held onto the archangel’s hand “You- are you stupid? A massage for your forced loyalty? Won’t you at least demand the same?”

“I don’t feel I need to demand it.” Lucifer smiled kindly, wanting to make this a good Deal to offset the bad experience the sinner probably had.  “I’m quite sure you’ll devote it to me even with the freewill I plagued humanity with allowing you to choose otherwise.”

“Freewill was the biggest blessing ever granted to humanity.” He replied simply.

“I literally made hell by doing it.” He was repeated told how much he fucked up by that decision.

“Evil existed before we could recognize it. Animals also know how to kill just for entertainment, males know how to forcefully couple with females, stronger creatures know how to subjugate the weak to give themselves more sway. Ignorance wouldn’t absolve humanity from doing evil, just stop us from understanding it was done. Choosing not to do evil brings people joy. Thinking on how to be better is what made us human .” Lucifer never heard such passionate words about arguably the worst thing he ever did, his biggest mistake was being praised like doing otherwise would be blasphemous. His heart was beating a mile per second , strong and loud enough he wondered if the other could hear, he knew by the slight reflection of light on Alastor’s face that his luminous blood had flowed to his face in an intense blush.

And he wonders why I don't want to demand his loyalty in our deal. He laughed breathlessly and decided to continue “You say that, but humanity did some pretty fucked up shit since I gave them freewill. Still I always hated taking it from people, always will. So, all that being said; help with my wings, whenever you can and want, and I won’t betray you, I won’t deceive you. Deal?”

“Deal.” The deer agreed, slightly teary eyed, before the magic enveloped them, flowing gently but strongly in their veins. As the energy settled inside, they opened their eyes and looked at each other “Thank you.” The sinner whispered.

“What for?” Lucifer asked just as quietly.

“Peace of mind, I guess.” He said lightly, as if a weight had been lifted from his mind.

What a silly reason. Lucifer grinned “Then, thank you, too.” Flapping his wings from happiness, then he yawned, not being able to cover his mouth as his hands were occupied with Alastor’s.

“Hmm, this seems to be my cue. You clearly need sleep, mon ange.” The sinner added some space between them, like only then he’d noticed how close they were sitting to each other.

Lucifer blushed at the endearment even as he began yawning again “Yeah. It’s, wow , three in the morning! I need some Zs if I’m going to be making your pancakes for breakfast.”

Alastor shook his head “You can sleep in, pancakes for brunch aren’t uncommon.”

The fallen seraphim shook his head, trying to stand as he explained “Nah, sleeping-in late throws off my schedule. But before I sleep, I’ll just go quickly add the muffling spell in your room.”

The sinner placed a hand on his chest, “No. You will go to sleep. Tomorrow after breakfast you have all the time in the world to cast the spell.”

“But-” He was interrupted before he could say his piece.

“No buts! I know your type, if you get up from this bed you’ll only lay back down tomorrow night. Leave the matters of morning for after the sun’s come up.” Alastor ordered as he tucked him in.

“Well… fine.” How to resist this much pampering? Lucifer thought with a blush, sinking in his comforters, already feeling his heavy lids struggling to stay open, especially as the radio was still playing that serene melody the sinner used to wake him from his nightmare.

As he was almost sleeping he could feel a light caress on his jaw. He could feel his heart skip at once more being proved of how much the sinner truly cared for him.

He couldn't wait for them to continue growing closer.

Chapter 20: The NOT evil plan to fall in love

Summary:

“What do you mean ‘use this’?” He zeroed on the exact words the shadow had hoped for.

Notes:

The summary of this chapter comes from chapter 18 bc 19 is exclusively Lucifer’s POV of the night he and Alastor shared. Technically I should move it to the DLCs bc it breaks the continuity, but I notice from the comments that not everyone sees the DLC chapters as I post them, and his perspective is kinda important to understanding where he finds himself in his relationship with Al
So yeah, chronologically you should move from chapter 18 to chapter 20, as we’re mainly following Alastor’s narration. Sorry about that 🥹

“Just exactly what I said. This doesn’t need to be just you getting involved with someone. This won’t be a weak spot to explore; it’ll be just… getting an ally and enjoying having someone strong on our side and the perks might be a bit different this time... Just like any of our other plans, layers on layers and using a curve ball throw at us.” He had a bit of a better speech ready, but he hadn't had time to practice it quite yet, he thought he’d have at least a couple days before they got to this… just what happened while he was asleep?

Different perks… that didn't sound too bad. Alastor remembered how he felt when around his king, how right it felt to relax around him. And for good or for bad if he was going to let his guard down around anyone it'd be better for it to be the kind of person who readily made a Deal with him to not ever betray him, someone that can and will protect him.

Not that he'll ever need the protection, it’s just, considering the cursed Contract… if he was… indisposed… This is ridiculous, I’ve never lied to myself and I’ll not start now. He sighed, “I'll need advice in this kind of matter.”

“Of course.” Umbre replied quickly with relief.

“I've never…” Alastor’s smile strained as he couldn’t finish that sentence, not deceiving himself was not the same as being able to speak out loud about the bothersome things involved with… vulnerable emotions.

“I know, I've been with you the whole time. You never found any person or soul alluring in all the 90 years we’ve been traipsing over hell.” The shade then hurried to assuage “It's normal to not feel this kind of attraction.”

“Is it? I remember quite well to have often been looked at as weird when this kind of talk sprouted and I didn’t immediately sing prose about body parts and night conquests.”

“I've asked Rosie before.” The dark silhouette admitted “I worried when we first met and you showed some aversion to being touched. That's usually a sign for rape.” Umbre scratched his neck embarrassedly.

“I was not -”

“I know, I had asked decades ago, and then never brought it up because it wasn't relevant, I'm just giving context to why I talked to Rosie about this kind of thing.” He nodded, it became more apparent as time went on that the reason behind was merely a preference to his own personal space, and in many occasions a clear dislike for whichever demon approached “She said it's actually not too strange to find people who just don't like touch, for any number of reasons, so yeah, there's nothing wrong.”

The deer licked his lips, not wanting to admit it made him feel marginally better that he wasn't unnatural as much as uncommon. Small as the thorn was, it’s gratifying to not be bothered by it anymore. “That's… all well and good but what to do about Lucifer.”

“Nah, that's the least of our problems, he's super into you. At first I worried because if he came on too strong, you'd bite his head off. But instead you were kinda reciprocating so I went to planning how to make this work.” He dramatically rubbed his hands together, like a cartoon villain.

The radio host frowned, confused at the shade’s certainty “How would you know he's into me?”

“Al, I've been with you for 9 decades. I know when someone is into you.” It’s somewhat difficult to recognize an eye roll from a creature without irises, but Alastor knows this particular creature well enough to do so.

“There were others??” The shadow could feel his lips tremble with amusement at his confused intonation; it has always been an infinite source of delight how nothing could befuddle his fawn quite like questions of intimacy.

“Irrelevant information.” Umbre waved off the surprised question, “And before you worry about that; Charlie is aware her dad might be moving on from her mom and is going to date you.”

“Huh?” The deer demon startled.

“Talked with her discreetly yesterday. She's a bit iffy on details but I'm hoping watching Lucifer make you pancakes like a whipped man will get the last of her doubts away.” He continued his explanation “Sorry, I set you to sleep and went to talk to her behind your back.”

The deer shook his head, he knew that the real reason he went alone was likely to be able to speak of matters he would be Contractually obligated to interfere “I… didn’t think making pancakes could be considered a punishment?”

“Oh no, Al it- whipped is youngster lingo, it means that he’s already acting married to you.” The specter tried his best to not laugh at the misunderstanding, the broadcaster truly ignored anything in the context of relationships.

“Ah.” It was even more difficult to not cackle at the embarrassment he could spot in the others expression. To anybody else he probably looked at most like the blunder was an unforeseen discovery, but those who knew him can tell when he’s flustered and hiding it “My question still stands, either way. How is making pancakes for me considered married behavior?”

He let the conversation move on as it was more important than his mirth, “Eh, I don’t really know all social cues involved. It’s just that, in general, making food is usually reserved for a beloved person.”

“Don’t I make food for people all the time?” The radio host paled and the shade chuckled as he could see as he wondered if he’s been flirting with randos for years.

“It’s different when they take in consideration your preferences. Like making coffee and eggs the way you like should feel more intimate than making a big pot that’ll feed everyone. It’s the difference between doing something nice versus just meeting a necessity.” He explained to reassure him.

“That makes sense.” The redhead sighed in relief at not having been accidentally coquettish.

The shadow then smiled mischievously as he continued, leaning into his friend's personal space “It’s also something you did unconsciously yesterday when you specifically asked Lucifer what he wanted for dinner, instead of just making whatever.”

Any tension he had lost came back with the comment “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“My little fawn, you and I know that you don’t ask for preferences, you don’t take requests even on which music to play in your radio show!” As much as he didn’t want to spook the other by giving too much information, they already got to the point of an extremely obvious song playing. Slowing or hindering the realization would be just a waste of time. “C’mon, we’re already having this conversation, this already proves you’re interested.”

Alastor stood and paced his room, burning out the excess energy this discussion was causing him. And meanwhile, Umbre watched silently; he’s aware this was a big change for the other- it’s very unexpected for both of them.

They were under the impression that the Overlord’s type was No™, only to find out that if you dig deep into the farthest parts of hell you can find what makes his heart tick. With minimal amounts of violence, too!

So he’ll allow his friend this chance to come to terms with his new found preference… And tease him relentlessly later, as is his due as his longest friend.

Finally, the deer hissed a long sigh and moved back to his bed to sit at the corner. “Is that… the reason I don't like seeing him cry?”

“Ah, yeah. Probably.” He made a tendril to pat his back commiseratingly, then added “Also, I’m quite sure you think he’s cute. You look at him the same way you do small animals.”

“I want to squish small animals to death.” Was the puzzled argument.

“Yeah, because you think they’re cute.” The shadow contradicted.

The Overlord just sighed once more then covered his mouth in a thoughtful expression. After a minute or so of silence, finally, he spoke “There might be a correlation, I guess.”

No longer able to hold back, Umbre guffawed. He loved when Alastor did this, he had such a serious expression; he looked like he was playing mental chess against God and winning. But in reality, he was superimposing Lucifer’s picture to a kitten and concluding that he is adorable, who would’ve guessed?

“Stop that, you moron.” He zapped the shade, who yelped at the shock but didn't, in fact, stop.

“Sorry, sorry.” The specter gasped for air, breaking in giggles before managing to say “This is good, though. Just continue being yourself and accept his advances as they come. I think Lucifer will be going slow so it should be alright.”

Grumbling grumply, Alastor finally nodded and began to dress himself for the day; off with the night wear, clean clothes, suspender and tie, monocle and shoes, and ending with his coat. The routine relaxing the last of the distress from this whole debate. Meanwhile, Umbre took his apple scented nest and pillow to stash in his negative space, thinking it’d be better to have it on hand, or at least out of view, for now.

He held the handle of his door and froze, suddenly remembering a detail about his Contract that’ll throw a wrench in their plans for this morning “I can’t eat Lucifer’s pancakes anymore.” He ignored the shadow’s puzzled exclamation and continued “We made a Deal last night.”

“Fuck! Change of plans come back in and explain to me properly, what happened while I was asleep?” Hopefully he could still spin this in their favor, he’ll have to have another talk with Charlie before breakfast.

Alastor narrated how he spent some time in the balcony after waking at 1AM, heard a commotion from Lucifer’s room, went to investigate and then proceeded to spend 2 hours fluffing his feathers and at the end proposed they made a repeated performance every month, which lead to the latest Deal he had. “I help with his wings whenever I can and want, he can’t betray or deceive me.”

“At least it’s a very good Deal.” It obviously benefited the Overlord more, but the devil was aware of it when he agreed to it, and probably won’t complain over it later if they were in a relationship. The biggest problem he can foresee is that Alastor has a Deal with Charlie, which he’s quite sure Lucifer won’t approve of, and now he has a Deal with the king too, which will similarly not stand with the princess. “You have to finish your Deal with Charlie. Publicly.”

“I do.” Maintaining both would just make them nervous about his plans for the Morningstars. The king will be unhappy that he had his daughter for any amount of time but if he openly lets her go it’ll make it seem like that was his plan from the beginning; he can imply he was just trying to not produce a Favor Exchange.

As it was agreed as her half of a Deal, it couldn’t be just any token action; The sinner can’t just ask for her to bring him a book from another room and call it the favor, it has to be a gesture worthy of an Exchange, but how to orchestrate this? How to do it as soon as possible?

The shade also would prefer if it all tied Lucifer and his fawn in an actual relationship. This wasn’t in the plan when they came to the hotel, but now that the opportunity came, there was no way he’d let it go. 

Finally, the specter thought of a method that could potentially tie all of their loose ends “I might have an idea. We’ll go down and say we need to speak to both the king and princess alone, add Vaggie if she can’t let you with them unsupervised.” The shade smirked; on the one hand the fallen angel was too paranoid for her own good, on the other hand leaving Morningstars in a room with just Al really was a Deal in the making, apparently. “There, you’ll give me Charlie’s Favor.”

Notes:

This chapter now has a DLC! check the second fic of this series for the extra content :D

Chapter 21: Duckies in a roll

Summary:

“There, you’ll give me Charlie’s Favor.”

Notes:

INFATUATION plays again, but this time it starts at 2:32

“Then I'd leave the room.” The deer finished for him, implying how the shade would be able to better explain the situation.

“Exactly. I think I can spin this into the best case scenario.” The shadow nodded but now his expression had turned contrite “Just… Do you mind?” He couldn’t say what he meant by that, overwise the Contract would activate, but his friend can understand the implication; he’ll share many of Alastor’s secrets to paint him in a better light. Make him look like the victim.

“I knew what the plan connotated when we first came here.” He wasn’t blindly optimistic nor stupidly hopeful; when the specter guided him to the TV displaying the News coverage of Charlie’s hotel and her colorful dream for hell’s inhabitants, he was aware the plan involved swallowing even more of his dignity and asking for help at some point. 

He has had many occasions to train his pathetic act in those last 7 going on 8 years. Too many, by far. But now wasn't the time to stop quite yet.

Umbre nodded, he hated exposing his fawn, he was such a private person. But there was no way to free him, to get his soul back, without at least showing some of his underbelly.

Details ironed out, the deer demon took a deep breath and went once again to the door, leaving his room, smile as always a permanent fixture on his face, but his eyes were stormy with the knowledge that the day barely started and already there were promised complications. The looming Extermination on the previous day was less bothersome.

He reached the kitchen and paused at the doorway, observing the small hummingbird of a devil he was apparently infatuated with. Lucifer was dressed very casually today, no coat or top hat as he was making his promised pancakes; which he’s actually sad that he’ll have to decline, they were surprisingly tasty. Happily singing¹ along to-

You're my latest sick obsession (and I need you now)~But it's infatuation~You're my latest sick obsession~I could watch you eat your breakfast~You’re my late-

Alastor doesn’t remember the last time he destroyed a radio, his powers acting out and frazzling the internal machinery to the point it’ll never again be turned on.

The sudden dying screech of the wireless startled the blond who’d been enjoying the love song that started sounding a couple of minutes ago. He had hoped that the Overlord would come along soon but he hadn’t expected such an entrance. The monarch turned to the sinner who was looking like a true deer under headlights. Which was strange, he was the one spooked by the exploding radio… unless that was an accident?

“That song. Was it you who picked it?” The demon held his microphone in front of his chest like a lifeline as he asked.

“No? I thought you did? Like yesterday?” Lucifer had woken up in a marvelous mood, practically skipping on his way to the kitchen. His day only got better as the song began playing, half way sure the radio turning on by itself was purposefully made to lift his spirits further before the other fully joined him in the kitchen, as the sinner had caught him mid-nightmare last night and might have thought he needed a pick-me-up.

“Yesterday?” Probably nobody has ever had the chance to hear The Radio Demon sound this unsure and perturbed in all his years in hell. Not even during the seven years he had been captured and forced into the cursed Contract.

“Uh, yeah? It was cutesy, uh, ‘you’re the sugar to my coffee and the salt to my food’, something like that.” The fallen angel only half recalled the actual lyrics, he had enjoyed the cheerful rhythm and the overall message and didn’t focus on every word said.

This was mortifying, when Umbre said he had been reciprocating his king’s advances he didn't think he had been serenading the archangel with love songs like a teenager with a first crush… It was his first crush, but that did not erase his point. “My apologies.”

“Eh? Why? I liked the songs…” The blond frowned, bewildered as he considered what the other had been doing as a kind deed.

“I… hadn’t intended- I wasn’t- I-” After interrupting himself for a third time he seemingly gave up, pinching between his eyebrows to stave off a headache “Nevermind, forget I said anything.”

“Alastor, you should tell him the truth.” his fawn flinched at the words told into their link, then pretended to not hear him and continued speaking to the royal.

“Either way I needed to talk with you and your daughter, alone. It’s important.” His folded ears hinted to Lucifer that the conversation will be serious, it was clear even with his permanent grin.

The archangel nodded, worried, especially when things were going so well. Did he regret their Deal? He thought, putting aside the pot where he was mixing the pancake batter, and moving with him to the parlor of the hotel, where Charlie was setting up for today’s exercise with Vaggie.

“Charlie? May I speak with you and your father? Privately.” Alastor continued as he saw the fallen angel ready herself for an argument. “Your girlfriend may come along, of course.” 

The princess looked unsure at her father, but he shook his head, this was as much a mystery to him. She then focused back on the deer demon when she caught sight of his shadow; Umbre had a pleading face, whatever Alastor needed to say could only be important.

She nodded and took Vaggie’s hand, guiding the group to one of their non-used guest rooms and gently closing the door after they all entered. After accidentally overhearing the Overlord talk with Angel yesterday she knew the hallways were very echo-y.

The first thing the deer demon did was sigh, long and tired. Yet the exhalation didn’t remove any of the tension on his body, fingers and ears obviously still twitching with nervous energy “First I’d like to apologize to the both of you. I swear I had no nefarious ideas when I did this.”

“Did what?” The archangel asked, ill at ease. What happened between the wee hours and now? How did it involve Charlie?

“Could I ask that you listen to what Umbre says before you do anything?” The sinner avoided his king’s gaze, holding his cane in front of his body like a barrier between himself and them.

“You’re worrying me there, pal?” The smaller was starting to feel distraught, his relationship with the radio host had just begun turning positive, what was happening right now?

The redhead took another deep breath and slowly lowered his cane, moving closer to the archangel and holding his hand much like his own had been held the night before; a shy touch that could be shrugged off easily, in case it was unwelcome “Lucifer, I can’t speak of this matter. Could you please listen to Umbre?”

A heavy silence settled in the room as they waited for the royal’s answer. Finally, after a couple of charged moments he decided to hesitantly trust the other “I will...”

“Thank you.” He lightly squeezed his fingers before releasing him and taking a step back, turning to the princess “Charlie, dear? I need to call on our Deal now.”

“Your WHAT?” Lucifer was aghast. A Deal?? With his Charlie??

The deer quickly continued at the monarch’s exclamation “The Favor I need is for you to listen to Umbre and at least consider to help with what he’ll ask. Then our Deal is done. Please.”

Another quiet weighed the atmosphere as they now waited on her response. Thankfully, his promise to finish their Deal at least seemed to significantly calm the blond man, but he’ll have a talk with the deer later. One for him to do with his own words.

The girl, herself, wondered the motivation of this, she thought Al would ask for something to be more of a token for his Favor. Then again, he just apologized before starting this conversation, and one look at the shade reminded her of what they discussed late last night. Did something big change this morning?  “... Ok, Alastor.”

Her suspicions only heightened when the sinner nodded and started moving towards the door. Umbre did say that there were many restrictions that impeded him from speaking on the matters that troubled him, but he could leave the shadow to speak for himself “Thank you, Your Highness, Your Majesty. Now, I’m afraid I must leave this discussion.” It was actually alarming to see him with his ears lowered as he actually bowed to both of them before he left, closing the door behind him.

The radio in the corner (that she’s sure the partner hotelier installed in every room just so his dark friend could talk whenever he felt like it) turned on and the specter rose on the wall beside it to speak. “Forgive him. It was a bit of a rollercoaster this morning.” 

“What happened?” Charlie asked, concerned by the display from the radio demon. She’d never seen him this…subdued.

The shade scoffed tiredly “ There’s a long story to answer that question. But that’s the reason I’m here.” He then awkwardly scratched his neck, going for a straightforward approach “ First; your majesty, I told him in the kitchen to tell you this, but he ignored me. So now instead of being able to say it proper and pretty like he’d probably like, it’ll be bluntly told by me. Because sadly, it’s part of the answer to ‘What happened’.”

“One of his powers is that radios just play music based on his strongest emotion. So if he’s very happy, a nice tune starts playing, if he’s sad it’s blues.” The 2D impression clearly grew flustered as he gave the next example “If he’s in love, a love song plays.”

“Lo-love??” The small archangel exclaimed as his wings popped out from the heightened emotions he felt. Charlie and Vaggie looking shocked at the abrupt second-hand confession.

“Yup. You’re the cream to his coffee~, the salt to his stew~ and his latest sick obsession~” The shadow partially hummed the lyrics he assumed the king had heard. “To be fair to him, it’s still a bit early to call it love, it’s more of an infatuation now. But he never half assed anything in all the time I've known him, so, expect the big L-word sooner or later.”

All three stood in silence at the seemingly ill-timed revelation, they couldn’t have imagined that this would be the first thing that had to be addressed after the Overlord called for them to have a private talk, Charlie especially had thought that instead of matchmaking plots being hushed like this, that they would be informed of a threat that had been made noticeable this morning and that’d be the reason they were pulled aside as the shade explained everything to them.

“Yeah so…” Umbre spoke half uncertain; he knew this was a very strange place to start this all, but he had had minimal time to prepare for this monologue as is and he had to get all his duckies in a roll to turn this into an opportunity. 

He had to get the lot of them up to date with many aspects of his friend to make this flow in their favor. This included that all of them had to know of his feelings, so he could manipulate their view of Alastor into being more positive. But also because if Lucifer wasn’t aware of that fact, he could misunderstand something. And Umbre was not about to let his fawn’s heart be broken by a pathetic reason like ‘lack of communication’. He’ll manage his anger at being over-exposed later, when this is over. “This is the realization he had this morning when we had a talk about his new pillow and Deal.”

“Deal? With who?” Vaggie blurted out “Who carajos made a Deal with the radio demon last night?! We didn’t feel anything like Charlie’s, I think we’d wake up if the whole place threatened to fall down again!”

The fallen angel didn’t notice the king’s blush, but the man’s daughter certainly did.

Chapter 22: Umbre’s monologue

Summary:

The fallen angel didn’t notice the king’s blush, but the man’s daughter certainly did.

“DAD!??” The princess exclaimed, surprised that her ‘Don’t let any demon fuck with you’ father would break his own rule in the middle of the night. With her partner hotelier, too!

“Yes. When he said he had no nefarious intentions he meant by making Deals with the both of you.” Umbre said, pointing at the morningstars “Charlie’s was mostly so they wouldn’t fall in an Exchange- I’ll expand on that in a moment- and Lucifer is mostly, well, Al’s unconscious desire to be closer to your father.”

“He told me this morning and we noticed that no one would think he did it mostly on accident and that he had no evil plans lined up if we didn’t come up front and nulled at least your Deal,” The shadow continued, now pointing only at Charlie “The problem is that we don’t have a ready made Favor that would be equivalent to what Alastor did for you, to safely end the Deal. But as I said yesterday, we do have a problem that could be helped by the both of you.”

“So now I’ll be giving the three of you all the information that I can. As Al said, if you at least consider helping that’d already be enough to finish the Deal, counting as his Favor. It’s such a big mess even that much is enough.” He shook his head then pointed at the seats in the unused guestroom. “You may want to sit, I don’t know how long it’ll take until I’m done here.”

They took him on his advice; Lucifer popping his wings back in as he picked the loveseat, and Charlie and Vaggie choosing to sit together at the end of the bed. The shade found this promisor, it meant they really were willing to listen to him and trust what he was going to say.

So he began narrating the tale of how his friend was snared in this mess.

—

Alastor met Them almost… 9 years ago now? One year previously to his “sabbatical” as you may have heard him call it.

They pretended to have a problem when he was passing by, and then when he helped Them, pretended that it made Them feel indebted into a Favor Exchange. Remember what Al taught you, princess? An Exchange will only be felt by sinners. They acted like They fell in the category, but in reality They very much felt nothing.

They did it to spend a long time with him; They’d do something to “repay” Their end of the fake Favor. Alastor, on the other hand, truly felt the Favor and would need to give something back. They’d say whatever he did made Them feel “indebted again” with some bullshit or another, usually that Their monstrous spouse was so bad any good action made Them feel in debt.

Favor Exchanges are tricky like that; it’s the reason most sinners put a lot of effort into making Deals instead. If we were sinners and I help you, for example, cut your hair for free, you may feel the need to reciprocate, but I just so happened to know how to do it and I don’t have hair, by the time you do something else for me, I’ll be the one who feels indebted to you.

They kept with this back and forth, artificially creating the “stuck in a Favor Exchange” effect to create some repertoire between them; They wanted Al to think it was a lifelong alliance.

But as I said They just wanted Al to consider Them a friend, to trust Them. And well, Al is a bit of a sucker for traumatized spouses. Reminds him of his mom, so he has a bit of a soft spot.

After he was good and fooled, we were fooled; They let their simulated Exchange “balance out”, that’s what sinners call when the two sides seem happy with their Favors and no longer feel the need to reciprocate. So as they were “free” of the Exchange They said They had an idea and wanted Al’s help, but so they wouldn’t fall in another Favor They offered a Deal.

They would show a spell that lets Them leave hell, and Al would have to sign their Contract.

After all, they’d been “stuck in a Favor” for a year, so They knew Al’s mom’s in heaven. They implied he’d be able to visit her with this.

They would show the spell, then the Contract would be finalized right after. It was supposed to make life in hell better. So Al agreed; he thought they were friendly, like he and Rosie.

The spell was just to send the caster anywhere they’ve been before; he couldn’t use it to get to heaven at all. They showed the spell by bringing him along with Them to a prison cell, where They chained him with anti-magic heavenly iron and then froze me. They thought I was just a construct; most do since I can’t speak and usually stay in Al’s shadow, so I wasn’t taken as a witness. It’s the only reason I’m alive.

I faked coming undone from Al’s "lack of magic" and spied on Them for all the time They had him.

The Contract They had him sign, as you can imagine, was bullshit. And clearly based on his old one with the couple he’d let go free years before. How They got a copy of it, we don't know. 

I wrote a copy of it, to make sure I wouldn’t forget any details about it, to find better loopholes, to find a way out of it. Anything. Here:

* You shall not be able to eat any food you’ve prepared for yourself, nor any food made by one that is or was under Contract or Deal with you.
* You shall only sleep 2 hours every 3 days.
* You shall not drink from normal cups.
* You shall not clean yourself with your own hands.
* I shall touch you anyway I want.
* You shall do anything I tell you to do.
* You shall not share anything you learn of me, my allies, my plans, my dealings or my property in any way, sense or form, even if you find yourself no longer bound to me by this or any other Contract you have with me or others.
* You shall not give any type of hint to the fact you’re under Contract.
* If your allies or contracted somehow discover about any of this (who you have a Contract with, where you’ve been with me, or my plans for heaven and hell), you shall find a way to stop them from sharing it. Shut them up permanently if you have to.
* You can’t directly or indirectly aid plots to harm, kill, hinder, or otherwise get in my way.

In exchange for your soul and 50% of your power, I granted you a showcase of the spell to teleport to places the caster has been to before. You must comply with the terms in this Contract, otherwise you grant me total and complete control over every function in your body, turning you into my puppet forever more.

Thankfully, They only had the old couple’s Contract; in Husk’s there were those terms to ‘Summon you wherever’, ‘Can’t lie’ or 'Work for free'. Small mercies and whatnot.

Remember, Deals have to follow the spirit of the agreement, so he had to sign this Contract. It had to be as he was presented it, it couldn’t be later, it couldn’t be renegotiated.

But there was no Deal that said They had to let Alastor go as soon as he signed the Contract.

So he signed and then spent 7 years under Their “care”, under those conditions.

He was only given dog food to eat, because the Contract said his food couldn't be made, but processed stuff worked, see? And he was only allowed a bowl of water, they’d beat him if he held the bowl to drink more normally, he had to lick the water like an animal. The good news was it clearly showed this other loophole; he can’t drink from normal cups, but other things work.

He can sleep only every 3 days. Apparently it’s simply impossible to drift off before that time frame. We just discovered after this Extermination that fainting from blood loss doesn’t count as sleeping, so that’s a new loophole.

They forced him to either accept baths given by Them, or to be unclean. Some sick power play to let Them say Alastor was the one to let Them put hands on him. If he chose to stay dirty instead, They’d use the 6th clause and demand he roll in filth, and then he wasn’t offered to “let Them bathe him” for weeks.

The 9th clause was a bitch, but that fucker nicely put examples in the written contract and forgot to add ‘et cetera’, so we can bluff out with a Deal between me and Al prohibiting me from talking specifically on the things cited in the clause. I can’t say anything to do with Who, Where and What They plan, but all else is fair game as long as Al has very plausible deniability about it, since he had me agree to a Deal to silence me on what really matters according to the Contract.

Since They thought I was just a construct, like the ones Al makes to fix the wall when someone comes and blows it, I had a pretty easy time hiding in the shadows, so I know all of Their plans, but I can’t share it. I just heard and saw everything.

He couldn’t eat, drink, sleep or wipe his own fucking ass, They kept touching him any way They wanted, beating him for stupid invented reasons, ordering him into ridiculous poses, obscene clothes and acting in humiliating ways. Then finally, I discovered what Al had to do to not be entertaining anymore. So he’d be thrown back here, free to look for help. I saw that the more resistance he showed, the more into it They got; so I told Al to act like all of it was getting to him. Like the deprivation of his basic needs, the pointless pain and the indignity brought him to lunacy. Usually I wouldn’t have him pretend to be pathetic, Al doesn’t know why I got desperate and demanded he start that act, and we’re keeping it that way. But… They had started to look suspiciously like his opposition was turning Them on. They were getting horny to watching my best friend be debased.

I won’t let him be raped. I refuse. So I told him to act broken, and it worked. Fuck, Thank fucking Everything, it worked.

They got bored and threw him away like garbage back down, thinking that it’d help Their plans anyway because They assumed the residents would soon find The Radio Demon, incapable of speaking coherent sentences, which would put hell in a frenzy. I can’t say more on that because of the Deal. I can’t say the full reason They targeted Al either. I can just say it’s because he’d naturally get in the way of what They want.

The last thing I can share is a stupidly small detail, but it’s all I can fucking say. They had a Deal with Adam and a higher up I never learned the name of, I don’t know how long it’ll take for Them to come for us now that the first prick is dead. But, I mean, They for sure felt when Adam died, so if They didn’t pop up as soon as it happened it’s because it’s not happening anytime soon, at least.

So this all is the reason Al didn’t want to just give you the information on Exorcists without settling a Deal first, it’s nothing personal. It’s just the last time he was helpful he ended up tortured. And well, we kinda did want your help so it’s good that you have to at least hear us as a Favor before you can say no, you know?

—

Finally done with the entire monologue, the shade stood still and waited on his audience’s response. After a minute of silence however, he finally broke and asked “Sorry, I know this was a lot of information, but I’ve been holding off on sharing it until we found anyone that could and would help for years now, so... Any questions?”

Chapter 23: That 20 Questions game

Summary:

Finally done with the entire monologue, the shade stood still and waited on his audience’s response. After a minute of silence however, he finally broke and asked “Sorry, I know this was a lot of information, but I’ve been holding off on sharing it until we found anyone that could and would help for years now, so... Any questions?”

His question finally appeared to wake the others from their reverie, and they started issuing their concerns, at first they spoke all at once, but as they noticed the shade couldn’t even understand what they were saying, they slowed and after exchanging glances decided on the order of who’d begin the interrogation.

Lucifer nodded to his daughter to give her the first word. Soon followed by Vaggie, who also felt her own queries weren’t urgent. Charlie thanked both and went on to ask worriedly “Is Alastor really functioning under all of those restrictions?”

The shadow smiled at the girl; he’s glad that her first priority is to wonder about his friend’s health and comfort, “We have some loopholes we’ve explored over time. As I said, he can’t eat hand made food, but he can eat raw stuff-”

“I saw him eating a rotting deer, is that why? How was he even eating that?” The princess’ girlfriend accidentally cut off as the words reminded her of the disturbing breakfast she interrupted when she went to demand the deer demon find a way to get rid of the eggy boys.

Umbre wasn’t offended as he’s always happy to expand on his fawn’s quirks “That’s a funny story actually; Al got’s all kinds of funky powers because of the voodoo he learned when he was alive, some of those have consequences that affect him after death. Like, because of the Crash of '29 he had no money for food and he couldn't hunt everyday, that'd fuck up the whole ecosystem where he lived. So he made a ritual to be able to eat rotting food, so he could get the free castoffs off the fair. He says it tastes kinda good, like it was smoked and spiced with paprika. But in exchange he can’t hold plants and food-stuff directly. Everything just decays, so he wears gloves to cook, too- Oh! Another of those magics was to have better control of his own emotions, believe me he needed that one, that’s what stitched the smile on his face.” He pulled at his cheeks to mimic the deranged smile in the Overlord’s expression.

“Stitched??” The princess alarmed exclamation only seemed to confuse the specter.

“Yeah, you saw the stitches when you made your Deal with him?” The awkward silence showed that it was too soon to touch the fact Alastor managed to get the magical agreement out of the girl, so he decided to quickly change the focus of the discussion “Yeah, that reminds me, as you know in the Contract he can’t eat food that was made by people he has a Deal with, so sadly, your Majesty, he can’t eat your pancakes unless you can make his Contract void?” He knew it couldn’t be that easy, but he’d lose nothing by at least trying.

The rueful look he received fastly put those hopes in proper graves however “Ah, I’m afraid I can’t… not like this. I’d need the one who wrote the Contract to be present.”

“... I see.” As much as he knew that’d be the most likely response, he couldn’t stop his mind from imagining that the king would be able to just snap his fingers and do it. On the bright side, now he’s sure there’s a method, though it means he’ll have to allow that torturer near his friend.

It also means he has to take in consideration that They will be in the same room as the royals and Alastor when he’ll ask for the deer’s freedom “And would you? When They come, because They will come, will you free my friend?”

Lucifer took a long time seemingly thinking about it, and Umbre would sweat cold if he could; this decision will be what truly dictates their entire chances of success. If the archangel says ‘no’, or that he’ll decide only after hearing the other side, or even if he says ‘yes’ too hesitantly…

The small man was recalling every interaction he had with the sinner; two days ago he’d have many doubts, and would not be able to say he’d side with the broadcaster wholeheartedly. He has so many secrets, there are mysteries at every conversation and action, and no way to find out more. The radio demon is a cryptid on the best day, a ghost tale on his worst, and clearly preferred it that way. He lies, manipulates and makes Deals with even the Devil himself.

He lied saying he didn’t like Lucifer, manipulated him into spending more time with his daughter, and made a Deal to give him company as long as he isn’t betrayed. The Deal wasn’t even Alastor’s idea, he’d initially offered a simple Exchange. Even with all the baggage he had with this exact situation.

Last night, he had said to the sinner that he didn’t think he needed to add clauses to keep his loyalty, and that still holds true. Somehow he found himself trusting the deer he was cursing out not even 48 hours ago, it’s almost funny. All that was said about the man paled in comparison to the real person behind the facade, and the blond can’t deny that he liked the hints that he has managed to uncover hiding behind the rumors. He wants more than just the peek he got until now.

“I will.” The two words were said firmly, the shade could see in the monarch’s eyes that he was determined to do as he says

The shade felt years of stress bleed from his back at the promise full of certainty and laughed breathlessly for a moment. It wasn’t magically written in stone, but the king seemed to keep his word honest, so he could hope for his friend for the first time in years.

Trying to conceal how glad he felt at the royal’s clear response, Umbre decided to share another loophole the deer found in his Contract. Also because he didn’t want anyone to good-naturedly offer to help clean his friend, chances were they’d lose a body part if they dared “In case you’re wondering, he’s not unhygienic, he uses cleaning magic since he can’t ‘use his own hands’. Works the same, just not as relaxing” None of them commented on how relieved the specter had sounded “And about his teeth, they’re just like that. One of his last strengthening charms he did here in hell made all his bones yellow.”

“You’re not serious.” Vaggie added, gaping.

“I very much am.” His mischievous grin split his face, to the point his eyes almost closed in amusement; that’s exactly the reaction he was hoping for.

However, soon the atmosphere is once again thickened by Lucifer's concerned question “Is he ok, sleeping so little?”

The dark silhouette felt pleased at the genuine worry exhaling from the archangel, happy his friend's future beau was demonstrating his care and regard so easily “Yeah, it isn’t that much less than what he usually sleeps naturally. They thought he slept regular hours and didn’t check to see if it was the truth, but thankfully he actually needs- less than 2 hours daily? So, as it is, It’s a bit bothersome, but he can easily deal with it.”

“Wait, I just remembered something; didn’t he eat dinner with us yesterday?” Charlie wondered, as she had been thinking about how many inconveniences her partner has been braving alone.

The shade shook his head “No, I ate his portion. I didn’t think we’d be spilling the beans about all of this so soon. Usually we try our best to make things seem like nothing is wrong. You don’t know what others can use against you.”

“We’d never use it against Al!” The girl seemed almost offended at the implication.

“...Princess, I’m not really saying you would, but, you do understand that trust is a two way street, right? If people don’t trust you, why would you trust them fully?” Umbre lifted an eyebrow even as his tone was gentle, she didn’t have a mean bone on her body, but sometimes that’s exactly what stopped her from noticing how life in hell works for the common folk.

“I trust him!” The blond girl frowned, she didn’t like the implication that she wasn’t putting her whole faith in the hotel and its inhabitants.

The shadow nodded with a sheepish smile, as he knew she confided in others to the point of naivety. But she wasn’t grasping the problem here, so he pressed the meaning of what he was trying to say more obviously “You and who else?”

The princess looked at her father and girlfriend, Vaggie avoided her eyes, while Lucifer looked abashed as he replied “I am trusting more as time goes by. But I do admit that not at all before yesterday.”

“Guys! Vaggie!” She exclaimed, aghast. No wonder Alastor hadn’t befriended anyone in the hotel, if Husk kept him at arm length (which is fair because of their Contract, but doesn’t erase the fact there is distance there), and Vaggie also never tried, then Angel and Pentious probably followed their trend and never attempted to draw the radio demon closer to their social circle…

“Charlie, you have to understand, even angels hear about his reputation. It’s not pretty what they say about The Radio Demon…” Her girlfriend tried to reason.

Charlie looked frustrated before Umbre laughed “C’mon, princess. Even you took your sweet time to stop doubting him. I’m quite sure only after he saved you from Adam, you started to look like you weren’t expecting him to be plotting something nefarious when you weren't paying attention!” It always amused both of them how easily people assumed that Alastor had some grand masterplan in the backburner.

The girl now looked contrite. Did I change the way I act and treat him that much?

Seemingly reading her mind, the shadow nagged “You don’t act too differently, but to survive in hell you need to be able to get someone’s mood at least a little. You used to take what Al said with a spoonful of salt, and now you’re believing him more readily. Which; do be careful, people can orchestrate dangerous situations so they can save you to get you to trust them.” Just because he and Al were, in fact, using her trust to receive more benefits, didn’t mean they wanted her to be manipulated more maliciously by others.

“About the Contracts,” Lucifer then asked, “with Adam and the other one… Can you tell us anything more about those?”

“Not really.” The shade shrugged regretfully, “Their interactions with Adam and the other one always involved things about what They had in mind for Their plans.”

“I see…” The king replied sadly.

“That reminds me. We’ll need a signal so I can alert all of you that we need help with the matters I can't share about." He tried to vaguely, but very pointedly, imply that he meant the clause on 'Who, Where and What' Alastor's Contract was about.

He made tendrils to touch all of their hands and lightly squeeze "If I do this- It means Code Red, What I can't talk about is right in front of you.” The shade didn’t give them time to comment before continuing “You have to trust me. No matter how surprised you may be with Code Red, it's not good news. Please, you have to believe me.”

“Umbre, we are believing you.” Charlie reassured the specter.

“You don’t get it, princess. You’ll question everything. But I swear, nothing good will come from what They want. Whatever you need to believe in me, I’ll accept any Deal to prove myself, but when I give the signal, don’t hesitate. Get in between Code Red and Al immediately, and Lucifer, please, at least use sealling magic.” He pleaded.

While the princess looked stupefied at his vehemence, she accepted and said there’d be no need for a Deal. The king frowned at the described danger, but nodded seriously. The shade then turned to Vaggie, who also agreed; whatever or whoever fucked up the radio demon would be a threat she’ll not let near her girlfriend.

Umbre felt delighted with this talk; in one fell swoop he just acquired 3 knights to keep his friend safe, all willingly too! He’s feeling positive! It may take a long while still until his fawn is free from Them. But the chances are in their favor!

With the proper consideration of the shadow’s words and subsequent agreement to help him, green magic started to zero into Charlie’s wrist, forming a chain that then broke; signifying that her Deal with Alastor was officially paid in full.

Like it was a cue, the room’s occupants felt that it also showed that there wasn’t anymore they needed to discuss immediately; the shade had said his piece and gave his warnings, and his audience asked all they thought was currently pertinent.

As such, they decided to leave the room and give the verdict of their conversation to the Overlord outside, or as much as they can tell him considering his Contract.

Chapter 24: Boy, don’t be proud

Summary:

As such, they decided to leave the room and give the verdict of their conversation to the Overlord outside, or as much as they can tell him considering his Contract.

Notes:

Musics: ¹ Won't Say I'm in Love (Mashup) | ² If I Loved You 5:42

— Before the talk, Alastor’s POV —

As soon as the door was closed behind him, Alastor moved far from it and endeavored to distract himself so he wouldn’t focus on Umbre’s frequency to listen to what was being talked. The quickest and surest method he could think of was to make breakfast. And from what he saw earlier, Lucifer had been focusing solely on making his “Best Pancakes”, so he decided to make food with some more sustenance to add to the morning menu.

Entering the kitchen he produced an apron and gloves like the night before, then went to the fridge and pantry to get eggs, chicken meat, cheese, vegetables, tomatoes, spices and herbs; planning on making omelets filled with everything. He also got strawberries, blueberries and bananas; if his king insisted on making sweets, he’d demand they be eaten with fruits at least.

After that he concentrated on dicing and slicing all of his ingredients, leaving the fruits to be added as toppings for the pancakes in a bow separated from what he’ll be using in the omelets.

He grabbed a frying pan and started by cooking the chicken and some of the vegetables, then shredding the meat and mixing it to everything else, including the 16 beaten eggs for last. Then he went back to fry it in the same skillet he had used, to make 8 portions of scrambled eggs.

After this talk, they’ll probably know I can’t eat my own meals. He stared hazily at the sizzling food, wondering if maybe he should make enough for just 7 portions instead, before shaking his head. Umbre likes eating even if he doesn't need it, so it’s not like the dish will be wasted.

He also needs to consider that maybe Husk, Angel or Cherri Bomb will eat with them, and while he can withstand the Morningstars (and he practically counts Vaggie as a member of that family already) knowing, he’s not about to share his shortcomings with the others.

He continued to make omelets until his pot was empty and he had 8 plates filled. Deciding then to also make coffee to fill in more time, he took the brewer out. It was a bit more modern than he was, being from the 1950s, but it wasn’t VoxTech nor filled with unnecessary functions, so he conceded on having at least it and a couple of more up-to-date wares as they were outfitting the dining space.

Food done and pot of coffee filled, the whole process barely took 40 minutes. It only took that long because he was taking his sweet time with the motions.

Their conversation wasn’t done. It’d probably only be when his Deal with Charlie is terminated.

He spelled the plates and pitcher to be fresh and warm and went to wait closer to the room they were discussing what feels to be his future and life.

The good news was that there’s no reason to break the Deal, so the process should be painless when the princess finalizes her end. He’ll just sense the magic dissolving naturally, instead of her father finding it in some worse way and canceling it forcefully.

The bad news is that he’s realizing he truly cares for what Lucifer will think of his Deal with his daughter. And it makes him scared.

Scared? No. What a ridiculous notion. He’s just apprehensive. If the devil is angry with him, Umbre’s plans will be made infinitely more complicated. And as he established earlier, his silly infatuation means he doesn’t want to be on his king's bad side. That doesn’t scare him.

Just… bothers him. It’s bothersome.

Differently from the kitchen, the new suite he picked to wait had a functioning radio that suddenly started tuning¹ after his latest thoughts.

If there's a prize for rotten judgment~ I guess I've already won that~
All those days chasing down a daydream~ That's ancient history; been there, done that
Who do you think you're kiddin'?~ He's the earth and heaven to ya~ Try to keep it hidden~ Honey, we can see right through ya (Oh no)~
Boy, you can't conceal it~ We know how you feel~ And who you're thinking of (Oh)
No chance, no way (Let it go, let it go)~ I won't say it, no, no (Can't hold it back anymore)~
(You swoon, you sigh; Why deny it? Uh-oh)~
It's too cliché~ I won't say I'm in love

Another damned love song, it seems he’ll just not be able to escape them today. Now it’s even daring to nag him!

I thought my heart had learned its lesson~ It feels so good when you start out (You'll be there someday)~ My head is screaming "Get a grip, boy~ Unless you're dying to cry your heart out"
(Oh...) You keep on denying~ Who you are and how you're feeling (I'll)~ Baby, we're not buying (Make a man)~ Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling (Out of you)~ (Oh, no)
Face it like a grown-up~ When you gonna own up~ That you got, got, got it bad? (Oh)

Is… is he seriously this torn up about his own emotions? So much that absurd lyrics urging him to ‘get a grip’, ‘be a man’ and confess ludicrous sentiments will start haunting him now?

(I'm wishing) No chance, no way~ (I'm wishing) I won't say it, no, no~
(So this is love) (Give up, give in)~ (Check the grin; you're in love)~
This scene won't play~ I won't say I'm in love

He’s not wishing for anything, and his smile is quite permanent; there is no ‘in love’ grin here!

(You're doin' flips)~ (Read our lips: "You're in love")~
You're way off base, I won't say it~ Get off my case, I won't say it (Almost there)

Damn it! There is no ‘almost there’!

Boy, don't be proud, it's okay~ But if I know you, I know what you'll do~ You'll love me at once~There may be something there that wasn't there before~Wish that I had~ (A whole new world) I know every mile~ (With new horizons to pursue) Will be worth my while~ (I'll chase them anywhere, there's time to spare) I will go most anywhere~ (Let me share this) To feel~ (Whole new world) Like I~ Maybe love is the reason why~ For the first time ever we're seeing it eye to eye~ (If I go there's just no telling how far I'll go)

The deer demon covered his ears as the many messages began being mashed at once, but it didn’t block the noise at all. What in the blazes is going on with these cursed lyrics!

He doesn’t remember the last time radios went this crazy around himself. Actually he’s quite sure they never got this bad before; This music had such a strange tempo, he imagines there’s more than one song playing at once.

Oh, at least out loud~ I won't say I'm in~ (Sha la, sha la, sha la, sha la, sha la, sha la la la la la) (My, oh my)~ Love (Ooh)

The sinner warily lowered his hands as the rhythm appeared to end, scoffing at the finishing words. But he couldn’t deny what was obviously right in front of him; his powers were very clear, his feelings may be all over the place, but telling himself a lie would not make them disappear.

Evidently, his humiliating Contract wasn’t enough, when he finally goes back to hell he manages to fall in love, of all things.

He’s not just apprehensive of Lucifer not wanting to help him get free from his Contract, he’s not just infatuated. He’s worried his actions may have deprived him of a possible relationship. Which is unbelievable! Him? The Radio Demon? Afraid of what someone may think of him? Frantic and nervous with the idea he won’t get to have more social interactions?? With a man??

He really should check the side effects of holy power, because it still sounds like utter nonsense even as he thinks it. But the way his heart freezes when he wonders if his experiences with his king the previous day will be a one-off thing is terrifyingly indisputable. He's not even wondering if the Deal he made with his king will be dissolved forcefully as much as he's dreading not being allowed to touch his wings again.

That song wasn’t even entirely accurate to myself. He grumbled mentally. It was clearly about someone who had fallen in love before and Lucifer is the first time I’ve felt like this.

As soon as he thought those words the radio crackled and another song² played, this one began in the middle of it.

If I loved you,~ Words wouldn't come in an easy way~ Round in circles I'd go!~ Longin' to tell you,~ But afraid and shy~ I'd let my golden chances pass me by!

Growling, the deer demon decided to wait in the corridor; he didn’t want to break any more of the wireless radios he installed all over the hotel, but he imagined his powers would turn them on again if he merely turned them off. Easier to just take the path of least resistance and go where there weren't any of the infernal machines.

Now he stood on the hallway, further from the closed door where his shadow, the princess, her girlfriend and (ugh) the subject of his passion were discussing matters he shouldn’t think too hard about, lest his Contract activates. With nothing better to do, the Overlord started pacing; he wanted to be relatively near for when they’re done. He sighs as he notices he really has nothing left to do but wait impatiently for them.

The broadcaster could hurry back to his quarters to grab a book, but he won’t be able to concentrate on it, so it’s a moot point. He already made food and coffee for all current occupants of Hazbin. Can’t go inside almost any room unless he suddenly decides he’s in a mood to hear cheesy love notes. All that was really left as an option was to lean on the wall and count tiles. Wondering endlessly about this mismatched place he's been burrowing into, he worries of what Charlie will think of him now that she'll know exactly what secondary intentions he had when he approached her. Thinking of how he managed to find a spot in damnation that he actually calls a second home in his heart of hearts, but now can't stop fretting with the anxiety that Charlie All-the-chances Morningstar will look at him with pity, or anger, or disappointment after discovering his sordid past.

He almost wishes to just go back to his suite so he could lay on his nest and pretend this day has yet to begin and all of this was just a hallucination caused by the intoxicating scent of the angel feathers pillow. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to say how much he truly liked the cushion, it was so soft, and the hint of sweet apple he could smell from it relaxed him almost as much as caressing Lucifer’s wings did. Alastor felt so at ease with the blond he would honestly call him home too.

He leaned against a wall and bumped the back of his head on it as he sighed once more. Denying his affections really was just a waste of time, wasn’t it?

How the mighty have fallen; one day you’re one of the most fearsome Overlords in all of hell, on the other you’re silly as a schoolgirl, and soft, warm things that remind you of your crush make you helpless and giddy. He can't believe how much he feels like he belongs here, like he belongs with Lucifer.

Really, he should do as Umbre advised and try to find ways to use it in some manner so that it isn’t just a new weakness, as he clearly can’t run from how much he likes the small archangel and anything he associates with him.

Just as that thought crossed his mind, he could feel as his magic dissipated and his Deal with Charlie came to an end. It seems like they reached a conclusion there.

He was correct. Soon after, the entrance to the unused guest room opened, and all of the 4 occupants walked or, in the case of the shade, slithered out. As he watched them he found himself wondering if Lucifer will be angry, he wonders if he’ll have a chance to fix their relationship into what it was during the wee hours of morning they shared.

The clear proof of my new case of stupidity, is that even now I’m still focusing on such an insignificant detail. His ears lowered at his frustration, but also because now would be the moment of truth.

Does he still have a chance with his king?

Notes:

I updated the DLCs too! The chapter actually relates to chapter 20, but I only got to write it yesterday so I'm posting only today :P

Chapter 25: Wrapped around each other's pinkies

Summary:

Does he still have a chance with his king?

Lucifer told himself he’d give a very stern talking to the deer for what he did; tricking Charlie into a Deal was a big no-no to him, and it isn’t just because he’s handsome that he’ll be forgiven!

But then the shadow made his point of how desperate the Overlord’s situation was during the last 7 years, and he can understand that he didn’t want to leave an Exchange open ended after the mess he got into with, uh, Them. He recalled thinking about how likely it was that Alastor had been back-stabed for him to be so shaken at Lucifer's unhesitating Vow to never betray him.

So he decided to give Al some slack in the end and not tell him off for his deed. No one was harmed and apparently it was just for a Favor. He hopes his daughter at least put some stipulations on the type of favor she’d be willing to do, he’ll have to ask her later.

He wants to make it very clear that his forgiveness came entirely because he trusts the sinner now and his tale made Lucifer quite sure he had no evil plan. It has absolutely nothing to do with the glimpse he managed to catch as they left of how he looked all morosely leaning on the wall with droopy ears that quickly raised back up when he saw them.

He’s the ruler of hell, it’s not that easy to get his heart all melted. His heart doesn’t get melted at all, he’s a hardened fallen archangel!

It also did not help Al’s case at all that when Lucifer approached him to be able to talk politely and discreetly about the decisions they took while inside, the sinner fluff ears flicked like they wanted to flat against his head but he forced them to stay high and attentive to the king. Nor that he seemed to be bracing himself physically and emotionally for whatever the blond had to say.

No. None of that made any significant changes to what he was going to say to the broadcaster, he had planned to forgive him as soon as he went out because he was clearly under duress when he made the Deal with Charlie, and that’s it. “We, ahem, reached a consensus about the matters your shadow had to say.”

“Yes… you probably shouldn't tell me about it. Just in case.” The deer tactfully cautioned, much of his life hinged on him knowing as little as possible about said matters.

“No. I mean, yes! I mean, you’re right, best not to go too deep into that, haha…” The royal clumsily scratched the back of his neck. He wasn’t going to overshare, but he’d thought he would like to at least hear a ‘We’re on your side’?

He guesses the method of closing his eyes and trusting them entirely to not fuck him up behind his back is more sure to work, but wouldn’t that be extremely unnerving considering he hadn’t even trusted them to tell all this information until it was absolutely necessary to share?

They stood in awkward silence as Lucifer tried to think of something to say that’d state he agrees with Alastor, but without mentioning anything that could be correlated to the Contract.

Looking at the sinner’s somewhat shy demeanor, he suddenly recalled what the shadow had first talked about in the room, and he imagines the other will understand he means a lot to the monarch if he were to confess his reciprocated feelings. So he took a deep breath and filled himself with courage to then turn to the redhead, “Actually, there is something that Umbre said that I think I can and should bring up to you.”

The blond couldn’t miss the flinch his sudden words brought “Of a… different matter, Sire?”

“Hey, I said it before, call me Lucifer.” He could feel his cheeks puff at the fact he had to remind the Overlord again.

Alastor paused as he looked at the royal, before slowly, almost timidly asking “May I?”

As he looked at him, the archangel saw only worry and wariness, and it occurred to him that while he knows the other likes him, the inverse can’t be surely said. Feeling emboldened by that fact, he declared “Yeah. You should call me by name. Because I was told this most interesting fact about those songs that started to play randomly on my radio.” The deer demon froze wide eyed and said nothing. He tried to take it as a positive sign, so he swallowed and continued “You see, I was told that it’s apparently a sign that… That, uh, we might be- dancing around each other?”

The response to his uncertain words was a dazed expression. But slowly the Overlord blinked and his grin became more natural, amused “That sounded an awful lot like a question, not a statement, Your Majesty.”

“Oh, shut up, you ass. And I just said to not use titles!” The king huffed.

“Hmmm, it seems you did.” The broadcaster leaned closer, taking a hand and kissing its back as he basically purred “Lucifer.” 

This act surprised and flustered the archangel, making his wings pop once more “Shit, I’m getting real tired of this happening!”

On the other hand, the sinner seemed delighted by causing it again “I like it.” He didn’t want others to see them ruffled, so he refrained from running his hands up on the wingspan, but couldn’t resist at least caressing gently down the feathers to watch him shiver. Then he lowered his head to rest their foreheads together “Thank you.”

The stimuli to his wings made his reply breathless “What are you thanking me for this time?”

The redhead hummed again “Peace of mind.”

“That’s the same reason you thanked me last time.” The king teased lighty as he now understood how much this all meant to the sinner, and the look he received in response was warm, so much it was smoldering and he could feel himself blush “I-in that case, thank you, too!” He hushed and avoided his gaze.

As he was attempting to gain the ability to see through the wall opposite from the deer demon, he could only hear the quiet laughter in his answer “I’m quite sure I’m not giving you any peace now, so what are you thanking me for, ma maison?”

Lucifer still steered away from his eyes, blushing further at the sweet nickname, but his wings surrounded the two of them in an almost embrace that didn’t touch the other directly “Believe me, I’m feeling really peaceful right now.”

It was Alastor’s turn to blush as he suddenly found himself surrounded by Lucifer’s scent and he noticed again how much he likes it. The royal caught sight of it and felt smug as it’s the first time he caused it! He turned to him properly, and was close enough to note it went down the neckline of his clothes. How far down did it go?

Foul played by his own intrusive thoughts, the archangel could feel as his face started glowing.

Their little bubble burst when Vaggie suddenly commented “Wow, I really get what you meant yesterday, Umbre.”

They separated and turned to see the girls and Umbre amusedly witness their flirtation, and shared a look before Lucifer cleared his throat and hid his wings again, while the sinner dusted off invisible lint “Yes, this was- informative for all of us I imagine. Now that we are all more or less on the same page, I say we should start the day proper! I made breakfast while you talked, so let’s go eat it while it’s fresh.” Alastor commented and began walking, ignoring the feeling of warmth in his cheeks.

Charlie giggled as her girlfriend appeared perturbedly entertained, and the sinner was glad he was the only one able to hear the shade cooing about how sweet they are together.

His king nodded before blinking confusedly “Wait a minute, I was making breakfast!” He complained as he started following the Overlord.

“You were making pancakes. They’re not a full breakfast. They’re dessert.” The deer replied matter of factly.

“Pancakes are breakfast food!” The small man argued, crossing his arms.

“Correct, but one needs more than just sugary batter for a meal. I made Everything Omelet, with vegetables, cheese and chicken meat. I also took the liberty to cut some fruits to add on to your pancakes as toppings.” He lightly tapped Lucifer’s head with his microphone, tone teasing.

The archangel rolled his eyes and batted the cane off “Why do you insist on such healthy things? We’re in hell, we don’t need to watch our figures.”

“It’s not to ‘watch your figure’ it’s-” The sinner paused, steps faltering before he once more picked his pace, but he didn’t finish his sentence.

After waiting for a couple of moments where he continued to not end his phrase, the blond finally intoned “It is..?”

The redhead sighed but flusteredly admitted at last “It’s just- how I show I care, I guess. It’s how my mother showed she cared.” The archangel responded by quietly blushing, and uncrossing his arms to be able to brush their hands together. To which Alastor briefly hooked their pinkies before releasing him and just continuing their saunter.

The princess had stary hearts floating out of her as she observed her father and business partner. Yes, she saw now what Umbre had meant yesterday; he was gladly taking 'advantage' of the opportunity he was presented with, but the basis of their feelings for each other was rock solid. She could barely believe even as she watched them walk closely and talk friendly, especially as the deer demon spoke of his emotions and how he expressed them!! Vaggie had to hold her hand to guide her forward with them as she was so focused on the older men while they moved in the direction of the kitchen.

They reached the dining room and seated themselves on the long table where the omelets were already plated, as Alastor had left them. However, when the girls and monarch were about to eat they remembered that their cook wouldn't be able to join them. The broadcaster, seemingly immediately discerning their troubled mood, said “Don’t mind me,” He then moved his hand above his food, and where his shadow passed, Umbre took and ate his meal “I’ll grab something from my bayou soon enough.”

“It’s not fair.” Charlie hated that there wasn’t anything she could do to help her friend, that he had to eat raw and-or apparently rotting meat and couldn’t even have her father’s pancakes.

“Maybe it isn’t.” The deer demon chuckled and drank from his mug (not a cup, never a cup) of coffee that the shade brought to him with a tendril. “But then again, it is hell.”

Vaggie cut a piece of the omelet in front of her “Isn’t there, uh..." She paused, thinking to make sure her phrase couldn't insidently trigger his Contract "Do you really have to eat meat like that?”

He shook his head “Heating, freezing, seasoning, cleaning, peeling, conjuring, and even storing it properly so it’ll rot slower. Vegetable gardens die prematurely from my care. Only processed, pre-packed rations have the characteristics I need in a meal, but I can’t depend on them, as foodstuff in hell is unremarkably found spiked with drugs regularly.”

“We never had spiked food in the palace…” The princess thoughtfully added.

The radio demon patted her head, amused “I’m quite sure it was that Lucifer made sure any workers allowed to darken the palace were under at least three Contracts that stated they could not even think of harming, sabotaging, poisoning, drugging or looking at you wrong, mon étoile du nord.”

The king looked fondly at the sinner, having caught the sweet name he had addressed his daughter with. He was so touched that Alastor was comparing his little light as his guiding star, he was glad that after all he'd been through recently that he was viewing this hotel as home.

The girl blinked and turned to her father, "Did you really get all our servants under Contracts?" The fallen seraphim turned to her and shrugged then bashfully nodded, maybe his princess won't be all too happy that he forced his servants under Agreements to make them harmless to his family but that was something he’d never regretted insisting on (Lilith tried to assure him it wouldn't be necessary after some tens of centuries, as he was a very powerful king, but he preferred not to give them the chance to get bold).

Also, with how quickly the deer figured him out, he could only imagine that it was something he agreed with and would’ve done himself in his position, which relieved the monarch to think that their little star would receive every morsel of protection they could give her.

“Oh.” Just as Charlie makes a surprised expression, the door to the kitchen opens and Husk walks in.

Notes:

"ma maison" means my home in french
"mon étoile du nord" means the north star that guides one home (bc she guided Al to Luci), lucifer didn't catch yet that he's home)
SerenityRena had the cute idea for the nicknames, so I implemented it 🥰

Chapter 26: Husk really overestimates Alastor’s evilness

Summary:

“Oh.” Just as Charlie makes a surprised expression, the door to the kitchen opens and Husk walks in.

— What happened —

They stared at the cat sinner, still grimy with the stew smeared on him from when he was pulled by the collar for his words and for not eating. He looked like he hadn’t slept well the night before.

“Just… wanted some coffee.” Husk mumbled, aiming for the mostly full jug while trying to avoid everyone’s gazes.

“Husk…” The princess began unsurely; she didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes after last night, but she wanted her friends to no longer be at odds “I know yesterday was- a lot. But maybe you could start today with, uh, maybe a healthy application of my lessons in apologizing? If you remember them, or I could give you a refresher about it? Alastor did a really good job last night going to each of us and apologizing for spooking everyone, but tensions were high and I bet we were all a bit strung up from the extermination. I can’t really blame him for getting a bit angry about you not eating the food he made us, and well…” The girl trailed off as she noticed the cat sinner had a vacant expression, like wasn’t really listening.

Alastor saw the spiraling cat sinner, and knew he was having one of his depressed episodes. It happens sometimes, days where the furry demon drowned in sorrow. He guesses he really exaggerated if he caused not only Lucifer, but even Husk to have a mental meltdown.

They stayed quiet for a moment until Alastor spoke “I don’t necessarily want your apology. I like to think that after knowing you for all those years that I can guess what went through your head when you did what you did.” The broadcaster spoke somewhat louder to break the cat from his mind, continuing as he saw the other actually turn his attention to him “But after all this time, you know although my job may be the podcast, I am a man of actions rather than words.” He knows he says some fucked up things, but the barman should know by now that if he was going to hurt him, he would have done so already.

He relaxed and rested his head on his interlaced fingers, deciding to no longer hold a grudge regarding Husk’s attempt at bothering him “I don’t need any empty words, but you know what would be a good way to show me we’re on the same page about your troublesome behaviors?” As long as you stop that hunger strike method you know pisses me off like nothing else. He pointedly looked at one of his omelets.

He smiled as the gambler sat down to eat “Good man!” He clapped once, choosing to help the winged cat as his actions inadvertently aided him in his own endeavors “While we’re here, I guess I should be the bigger person and admit I also exaggerated yesterday. My retaliation was more aggressive than what your deeds deserve, so as a token of goodwill I’ll give you an advice; I may not care for an apology, but I’m quite sure Angel Dust is expecting a good explanation. So do talk with him instead of vaguely complaining about the unmentionable horrors suffered under my command.” 

He might’ve been a bit too nice if Charlie’s starry eyes were any indication. Even Vaggie looked like he did good. He refused to turn to Lucifer as he felt his hand affectionately pat his thigh.

Husk nodded after a bit. “Yeah, I should talk to him.”

— What Husk saw —

Husk fell asleep under his alcohol counter. This wasn’t the first time, but never before he woke up the next day completely sober. He grunted as he sat up and looked down at his chest where the dirt from last night’s dinner had dried up and now uncomfortably stained his fur.

He had no idea what to do.

Yesterday when he mouthed off to Alastor he’d thought he would get one of his slap on the wrist punishments, like when he talked about being able to feel his new leash; some screams, some threats, menacing remarks that’ll keep him up at night because he’d seen them done to others in one or two broadcasts and to this day he has no idea why he didn’t star in one of them.

But he forgot the first rule for when dealing with the Radio demon; you can’t predict what he’ll do next. He also didn’t take in consideration that he was getting close to everyone at the hotel and that he cares a whole lot about what they think about him now. And currently they probably think he’s flour of the same sack as the other Overlords.

He’s not stupid. He knows Charlie won’t demand he’s laid off from his barman bit, she’s all about second, third and millionth chances. But that’ll just make this all the more awkward, because she’ll insist on keeping him so he can be redeemed but no one will treat him the same.

Angel won’t treat him the same. He could see plain as day that the guy was this close to crying when he heard about how he truly was as an Overlord.

Fuck . He dropped his head on his hands, half pulling his hair, half clawing at his scalp as he pictured the spider. He probably went to his room to tear up all night with Cherri . How was he supposed to fix this shit?

This was giving him a headache, so he decided to get off his ass and go grab a coffee to start this already shitty day. He can’t hear the princess nor her girlfriend in the parlor where they’re usually setting an activity by this time of the day. With a bit of luck they decided to take today off after the mess from the Extermination, rebuilding of the hotel and dinner.

Of course. As soon as he opened the door to the kitchen he saw that his luck truly ran out yesterday and didn’t magically come back while he was wallowing. At least Angel isn’t here. “Just… wanted some coffee.” He frowned, avoiding their gazes as he felt overly self conscious of how he looked like he'd been on a bender. He made it half-way to the coffee pot before Charlie called to him.

“Husk…” She paused, trying to choose her words delicately “I know yesterday was- a lot. But maybe you could start today with, uh, maybe a healthy application of my lessons in apologizing? If you remember them, or I could give you a refresher-”

Apology? He lost focus on what was being said as he suddenly noticed how they were all huddling around Alastor, chummy and clearly on his side. It wasn’t just that he’s now being viewed as one of the Overlords, they’re also looking at the broadcaster in a better light.

You know what? That tracks. The radio demon never did anything by halves; Husk’s punishment was also to elevate himself in their trust. How long has he been planning this?

He stood there, wondering if there was any point trying to speak his side of things, or if he should just go with whatever scheme he incidentally participated in. But one look at the serial killer in the room and he had his answer.

The bastard looked smug. He looked like he was hoping for Husk to try and spin this into not being his fault just so he can twist it back, so he’ll be even more tied to the role of bad guy. His perspective was not likely to help him, actually if he spoke of it he’ll probably just incriminate himself further somehow.

The cat sinner wasn’t evil, but he wasn’t a hero nor was he a moron. He could try to warn them about how manipulative Alastor is once more, try to remind them that they’re playing to his hand. But that could cost his head.

He’s been betting too much recently. Losing too much. Did he care so much about this shithole, little corner of heaven hotel? Would he gamble his life for it?

He didn’t know. He didn’t think so.

The furry demon was brought out of his thoughts by the radio host’s abrupt commentary “I don’t necessarily want your apology. I like to think that after knowing you for all those years that I can guess what went through your head when you did what you did.” Husk swallowed, that tracked too. Alastor probably knew exactly when and how he’d rebel at any given point, by now. He was expected to act out yesterday, and it was allowed as it worked out for the deer. “But after all this time, you know although my job may be the podcast, I am a man of actions rather than words.”

Husker froze at those words. Was he- threatening me with the broadcast? In front of all of them?

The Overlord continued, head resting on his interlaced fingers “I don’t need any empty words, but you know what would be a good way to show me we’re on the same page about your troublesome behaviors?” He finished looking pointedly to the plate where an omelet rested.

He sat down and started eating.

“Good man!” The redhead clapped his hands once before continuing “While we’re here, I guess I should be the bigger person and admit I also exaggerated yesterday. My retaliation was more aggressive than what your deeds deserve, so as a token of goodwill I’ll give you an advice; I may not care for an apology, but I’m quite sure Angel Dust is expecting a good explanation. So do talk with him instead of vaguely complaining about the unmentionable horrors suffered under my command.” Alastor rolled his eyes, but his tone was light.

The cat demon looked up and saw the princess look proudly at the deer demon, the fallen Exterminator appeared begrudgingly approving and Lucifer also seemed to be staring… fondly? How did the radio demon turn even the devil into his fan in so little time?

He thinks about the words just spoken to him, before nodding “Yeah, I should talk to him.” He doesn’t know what the Overlord’s plan is, and it’s clear that he wouldn’t be able to stop it from happening anyway. There’s nothing to do but agree now and prepare to mourn in the future.

At least he's apparently allowed to ask forgiveness and try to make amends with Anthony.

“Also, go take a shower when you're done eating. I know I say ‘you’re never fully dressed without a smile’, but a clean appearance is also helpful to one’s overall readiness for the day.” The Overlord complemented.

“Hey, you’re gonna send him off as soon as he finishes your eggs? What about my pancakes?” The king poked at Alastor’s arm and most shockingly to the cat demon was that he didn’t get his head bit off for touching the sinner.

“You could make them to be… appreciated during Charlie’s exercise for today.” He replied casually as if he considered the royal a dear friend, like he didn’t cut off hands for less.

“You’ll be joining us today, Al?” The princess excitedly asked.

Ok, hold on. Why do I feel like I joined a family meal? The cat frowned confusedly at the unexpectedly closeness the 4 were displaying.

“Hmm, I guess it’ll depend on if I’ll have some time to myself before I am to join the class.” The broadcaster claw clinked on his empty plate twice as he spoke.

“Oh! Of course, Al! We’ll need some time to get the parlor ready for today, and Angel usually only comes down after 10AM and considering how tiring yesterday was, I was thinking that anything that happens will be after lunch probably.” The girl visibly brightened as she shared her plans for the day.

“In that case, I have no objections to participating today, mon étoile du nord.” The deer agreed before sipping his coffee, sounding like a father indulging his daughter with play time after work.

What the fuck? Did he fall off into an alternate dimension? What did Alastor just call the princess??

Chapter 27: I’m not sorry for the part 2 of the wing thing

Summary:

What the fuck? Did he fall off into an alternate dimension?

Somewhat in shock, Husk excused himself as soon as he finished his omelet, hopefully to take a shower as the deer had told him to. For some reason the cat sinner seemed disturbed, Alastor amusedly pondered why. Was it really that weird to be in my presence when I’m being nice?

"What was it you just called me, Alastor?" Charlie asked, she imagined the chances of her getting an answer were better now that the bartender had left the kitchen. But the deer demon only blinked, he hadn't noticed himself calling her anything in special. Noticing his confusion she expanded "You called me something in french..?"

Thinking back on what he had said it suddenly dawned on Alastor that he called the girl his North Star. Before he thought how to answer Umbre spoke into their link "You also called Lucifer Hooome~"

"I did not ." He was so startled by the statement he spoke out loud.

“Did not what?” His king asked, not understanding the adamant denial.

The deer waved him off “I’m speaking to Umbre. I did not.” He repeated less ardently, ignoring as Charlie commented of "Oh, so Al can hear Umbre even without radios!"

“You did! You called him ‘ma maison’, and just now you called Charlie ‘étoile du nord’. It’s over my fawn, it’s terminal now, you’re calling them cutesy french names!” Although the other occupants of the kitchen couldn’t listen to him, it was obvious that the shade was laughing and mocking Alastor from his big, taunting smile.

Meanwhile Alastor was stupefied. He only heard tales of how his mother’s mother only addressed her husband as Home, and how his grandmother and her family had the habit of saying their children are their North Stars, guiding them to the future. And now he’s unconsciously labeling them like, like they’re all already a big family??

How long has this been brewing? How long has he been viewing Charlie as his, not just to tease Lucifer with but his to protect, and care for, and to guide and be guided by?

At least long enough for you to want better for her, for you to bodily defend her, for you to start viewing her father as a home she led you to. His traitorous mind informed him.

He was brought out of his thoughts by the princess “Are you ok, Al?”

“Yes! Yes, it’s. I’m fine. Don’t mind what I called you by, mon- my dear. It’s nothing important.” He’s right tired of emotional revelations, that’s what he is. He wants to hide, he wants to bite something or someone, he wants the ritual that’s supposed to help him control his emotions to help him control his emotions - he’s quite sure he’s feeling too much, how is he feeling so much for the Morningstars?

“It means North Star in french.” Lucifer translated, incidentally bringing Alastor attention to him and out of his ranting thoughts “He’s calling you a guiding star, isn’t it nice? You’re our little light in the darkness, Char-Char.”

Our little light. And somehow the devil’s words calmed his latest upheaval, because he had already accepted that he loves Lucifer, and if the king is his, then of course his daughter is also his; she’s their’s. His family, his child and his precious beau. His home and the one who guided him to it.

“Oh! That is super nice! Please continue calling me that if you want, Al!” And Alastor looked in her eyes, saw that she was happy- glad even- that he was considering her to be his and he let go of this anxiety.

“Very well, mon étoile du nord.” He patted her head.

Umbre sighs and untenses, he's glad this discussion didn’t break the broadcaster, he noticed his fawn slipping for a moment as he was informed of his nicknames for the Morningstars. Knowing his mother spoke French he assumed there was some kind of weight to the words, but thankfully it all worked out and didn’t have to run after the spooked deer.

Breakfast resumed with light conversation after that. When the family was done eating their portions they all stood to leave, the girls to the parlor to complete the preparations for today's exercise, while Alastor turned to head to his room for his own meal.

At first he thought Lucifer was going for his own suite and was just happily walking with him while their path coincided, but he noticed as they were in his corridor that his king was following him to his quarters.

“Lucifer?” Not to say he disliked the company, but the morning was emotionally intense and he wasn’t much in the habit of allowing others near when he was trying to enjoy a good chase. Not to mention that feeding is mostly a private matter for him now-a-days, people rarely want to watch him eat raw meat.

The fallen archangel made a questioning noise, so the broadcaster explicitly asked “Are you coming to my room?”

“Yes? I said I'd put the muffling charm in it, we agreed last night.” The blonde reminded.

“Ah, I had almost forgotten. Very well then, but will it take long? I do want to eat.” Alastor opened the door for his king, letting him enter first.

“I can do it fast enough so you can hunt something for yourself.” Lucifer started to fold his sleeves to work his magic.

“I might not need to hunt today.” The deer demon shook his head and then moved in the direction of his bayou. “I put a trap last night, after my disagreement with Husk. I didn’t check it this morning, but if I caught anything, it won’t be a pretty sight by now.”

“Wait, you didn’t eat at all last night?” The smaller man hurried after him and asked worriedly.

“Just your pancakes, yes. Would make too much noise with a gun, and I was too tired from settling in my room and putting up the bayou to chase something.” The broadcaster chuckled but slowed his pace a little when he noticed the other was being left behind by his longer legged steps.

“You run after prey??” The archangel was so bewildered he didn’t even notice the other’s mirth.

“Yes? I can't use my guns and don't have nor know how to use a bow. I could just instead lay traps all the time but it's easier for everyone involved if I can let most of my aggression out on unwanted ‘guests’ and my hunts, so.” He shrugged as Lucifer followed in silence, Alastor could only imagine the reason had to do with his admitted violent tendencies.

He went immediately to the lure he’d left; it led to a hole filled with pikes to give whatever he captured a quick death. No reason to have a random animal suffer if it wouldn’t even satiate his bloody predilections.

However it was not to be. The trap laid completely empty. Alastor sighed, but he would at least be able to shoot something soon, as now there wasn’t anything stopping Lucifer from adding his promised charm to his room.

“Oh, that’s too bad. But hey, quick question, can I watch you hunt?” The blonde finally spoke.

“Pardon?” The deer blinked in surprise.

“I’m just curious, I can’t imagine you running and eating a deer to be honest. If you’re still tired, you can just say no.” He finished awkwardly, noticing that it was an unusual request.

Alastor thought of denying but he had slept well and relaxed further still thanks to the angel feather pillow, not to mention the excess energy he's been feeling all morning thanks to his own emotions. Lucifer also seemed genuinely interested in seeing what it looks like when he stalks his prey, and he so adores to show off his strength.

“Very well.” He starts to shift his form to be a bit bigger, focusing on his arms and shoulders so they match the length of his legs, adding to the span of his horns, then extending his neck, and finally his shoes disappeared, allowing his hoofed feet to touch the ground.

“Why are you looking like that?” The royal questioned, circling the demon. He absently noticed that the deer-like creature was holding his hands in a strange manner to stand now, using his knuckles to walk, much like a gorilla.

The cryptid soul turned his head to look at his beau. “I noticed pretty early on that deers would recognize the sound of a bipedal pursuer, but tolerate the approach of a quadruped, especially one with hooves. It takes about half the time to find and capture my food when I do it like this.”

“I see.” The monarch hummed, pensieve “Then I guess I better follow your lead!” He smiled and with a puff of magic turned into a deer version of himself.

Alastor stared at the dainty herbivore and could feel himself salivate at the pretty white fur, imagining it covered in blood and mounting the marvelous golden antlers on his wall, biting that neck which probably tasted sweet as the forbidden fruit the first humans ate long ago.

He was brought out of his bloodthirsty vision by Lucifer’s voice “Like what you see?” He said while wagging his eyebrows, tail shivering at being stared at so intensely.

He finished shaking his desires off and commented “Yes, I’m afraid. Maybe you should make yourself into a small bird to accompany me. I rarely eat those.”

The monarch blinked confusedly before understanding what the sinner meant and snorting “Wait, you want to eat me? Literally?”

“Why yes, you look delectable. Now please stop delaying, I’m hungry.” With that, he twisted his head forward and went further into the bayou.

“Ok, ok.” The white deer turned into a white bird, and sat on one of the spikes from the demon's head to observe this hunt.

After that it was quick work to find an actual deer, Alastor knows how to track and does this habitually, so running to burn off his emotions while keeping on track was easy enough. After spotting it he calmly made his way to it, not trying to hide himself nor make less noise, and Lucifer watched fascinated as the herbivore continued to graze trustingly.

By the time the animal thought to look properly at its new companion it was too late. It tried to leap away but the sinner jumped upon its back and crunched the jugular of the creature, exactly in the place he pictured 'nibbling' on Lucifer not long ago.

Not caring to wait or drag the carcass to the table he usually uses for his meals, the broadcaster simply took mouthfuls, enjoying the yet warm, fresh meat.

The monarch watched impassively, still perched on his antlers. While he didn’t fancy the thought of eating raw meat like that, he had thousands of years to see the damned having much worse meals. Also he saw the demon eat the loan-sharks, so this was tamer in comparison.

After feeding, Alastor dragged his leftovers back to his furnished area, laying the body on the table to eat for his next snack.

Meanwhile the blond turned back to his original form and rolled his sleeves again to apply the charm for his- boyfriend? Intended? They don’t have a label so far… Anyway he was doing as promised and making the place soundproof for the radio demon, who came to watch the process once done with his food.

Actually he came really close to look over his shoulder as he chanted the incantation, their faces now right beside each other as the golden light was shaped into the right spell.

With his last words, magic weaved itself and headed to the walls, lines of gold decorating floor to ceiling. “There we go! Anything that happens in this room should be very difficult to hear while the door is closed now!” Lucifer smiled, proud of himself and hoping for a compliment for a job well done.

“So I see, the spell itself isn’t complicated, the most difficult part seems to be the control over magic one has to exert. Too little and it doesn’t work?” The deer commented, not moving from his position near the archangel.

“Yup. And too much fucks up the entire thing and makes the noises inside the room louder, for some reason.” The devil replied a bit flustered by the proximity.

He shivered as the next words were basically purred into his ears “So now the chances of anyone hearing us would be… very low, correct?” 

“... Yes?” He whispered, somewhat unsure as he wasn’t expecting this behavior from the sinner.

“Marvelous.” He said, guiding his king gently by the hand to his bed “There is something I’ve wanted to do, now that we’re alone.” He pulled the smaller man onto his covers, keeping ardent eye-contact as he did so. The blond swallowed as he let himself be steered. As soon as he laid on the covers he was asked “Can you bring your wings out for me, ma maison?” And he didn’t hesitate to do as requested. “Good.”

And Lucifer expected many things from the tone of voice and where he was and the way he was ushered to the covers. What he didn’t expect was for Alastor to flop on top of him, pinning him to the bed with his weight (and even some tentacles) and then proceeding to caress his wings. Not softly or forcefully, but unrelenting. Up and down his feathers, fluffing then soothing non-stop.

Worse still, was that the deer laid in a way to allow himself to smoosh his face on a wing, which added another layer of stimulation that had the royal squirming, not ready for this assault.

“What are you doing??” He asked urgently as he blushed fiercely, unsure if he wanted to twist away or into the hands on his body.

“Enjoying myself.” Alastor replied unrepentantly, the words spoken against the feathers caused the fallen to try to arch his back as he moaned “Oho? I see my voice has even more of an effect like this.” He continued to speak now that he knew it caused such strong reactions, relishing on the trembling he could feel beneath him. "Every time he saw these wings I wanted to do this, ma maison, I could live just like this." How intoxicating it is to watch as his touch, as his words, wrap the literal king of hell around his finger. He worried about how much influence this entity has over him, but it calms his analytical mind to know that with so little effort he also controls the other. The only thing containing him from doing this in the kitchen was the thought of others catching wind of this weakness; no, he wants this advantage all to himself.

And now he can explore it some more. “You see, I noticed after you gave me the pillow last night that angel’s feathers have a rather agreeable result on me, so I’m planning on using that fact to my best ability.” And to appreciate the view of you unraveling under me.

“You-! How long do you think you’re going to do this to me??” He demanded breathlessly.

“Why, until dear Charlie comes to collect us for her exercise! But don’t worry-” Was the cheery answer “As I can’t sleep tonight, I’ll endeavor to continue this for as long as possible later.”

Something snapped in Lucifer as he thought about it; this sinner keeping him awake all night long just by driving him absolutely crazy with gentle hands. Doing something straight in the middle between innocent caresses and indecent fondling, clearly delighted by the pleasure he can so easily give him.

He forcefully freed one of his hands from the shadow tendril that had captured it, and grabbed the cheeky demon by his bow tie to smash their lips together, now it was his turn to luxuriate in the pleased noises he could pull from the other. Even if the bastard still tasted a bit like blood and managed to continue to pet his wings as they kissed.

At least he did stop when Charlie knocked on his door hours later.

Chapter 28: Alastor calls Lucifer cute

Summary:

At least he did stop when Charlie knocked on his door.

He was surprised when the blond grabbed him suddenly to pull their lips together. He probably should’ve expected something; most would react when overwhelmed or overstimulated, but he imagined the archangel would’ve displayed some warnings before biting back. Although, as far as retaliations go, he’d enjoyed kissing Lucifer. He wouldn’t have thought he’d like it.

It was just so weird, he never before felt anything but discomfort as he touched others. He tried holding hands, hugging, kissing. There were even two very regrettable "passionate" nights back when he was human, young and trying to fit in. The first time his own attempt at understanding what's the fuss about; the second, someone trying to "help him fix his problem". Both times he couldn't even bring himself to "stand up" for the occasion. At least he discovered that knowing how to play a plethora of instruments gave him daft fingers.

His time under Them only solidified his disgust for touch.

But with Lucifer it was nothing like that, his skin’s texture was entirely inhuman, he couldn’t classify what it felt like because he never encountered anything like it, and all his clothes were clearly made the same way as the ducky covers- all felt soft as angel feathers given a sheet like form. The small instances of contact before just kept making this fact more and more clear to Alastor; his king was uniquely perfect for him. Effortlessly cute but without constantly triggering his desire to aggressively ruin him, easy to bother but didn’t insist on escalating their bickering to physical fights, even his skin almost appeared to weave itself into his favorite pattern for him to want to burrow into. Strong enough to be the indisputable sovereign of hell, magically knowledgeable to create the whole realm and he can add or take anything he desires with nothing more than a snap of his fingers.

He couldn’t understand why the queen would ever want to give up on any of this.

Alastor shook his head, it’s not like he cares to ponder what brings others to commit mistakes and self-destruct, he just makes sure to learn from their errors and use them to pave a nice even road for him to get whatever he wants.

When the princess knocked on his door he considered for a moment to ask her to return later, but he had promised her he’d join the redemption class. Oh well, Lucifer didn’t contradict him when he said they’d continue later that night.

He stood and conjured a full body mirror to straighten up his tie and clothes, side-eyeing the devil who continued to lay disheveled, dazedly staring at him. Alastor cleared his throat “Lucifer, that’s probably Charlie at the door. Won’t you even stand up?” Was he going to let his daughter see him like that?

“Right!” The small man exclaimed and hurried to his side by the mirror to fix his appearance, his hair was a bigger mess than his clothes, however. Just as he was about to magic it back into place, the sinner started running his fingers on his locks, brushing it more or less into place.

The archangel froze under the tender caress, which the broadcaster took as permission to do as he wanted. Once satisfied with the hair, he brushed invisible lint from his king’s shoulders, tidied his bow tie and refolded his collar. “There. Ma maison is presentable, at last.” The redhead demon nodded to himself, dismissing the mirror and going to open the door for the princess, not seeing the absolutely besotted expression that settled on Lucifer’s face as he turned.

Umbre, on the other hand (who had been trying his best to close his eyes and ears to the steamy Make out session, even as he had been still inside Alastor's shade), saw all of that and almost couldn’t believe his eyes. That was truly sickening. He has never felt so single in his entire existence.

The girl, who willfully didn't question why her father was in her partener's room, led the way to the parlor now that they were ready for a new class on how to redeem themselves. “My plan for the day,” she explained, “Is Sharing About Yourself: SAY something about you so others can feel closer to you!”

Alastor wasn’t sure he wanted to participate in that, but agreed when she added that anything counted and it didn't have to be a lot of information. “Favorite color or a deep secret, whatever you are comfortable talking about!” They went to the cozy sofas, the deer and the king being the last ones to join. Apparently, even Husk had already come, now clean from the dirty from last night. As they sat, the princess clapped once “Okay, everyone! Who wants to start?”

There was a moment of silence before Husk spoke “It’s not about the exercise but I need to say this, especially to you Angel.” He took a deep breath “I know I fucked up. I kept a lot of details out of every description of how I used to be when I was an Overlord. I know you’re hurt, and probably pissed too. And you’re right, I should’ve been honest about how I did Deals then. I shouldn’t have acted like we’re in the exact same boat when I used to drown others before.” The winged demon sighed “But I didn’t want you to see my worst parts, I wanted… I’m not even sure what I wanted. I guess I was mostly just ashamed and wanted to pretend who I was isn’t relevant anymore. I’m sorry. If you want, I’ll tell you everything.” Then the cat sinner seemed to remember the others around him “Er… preferably between just us.”

They stayed in silence at his words until Charlie started applauding, they turned to the girl to see her tearing up “That was beautiful, Husk! I’m so proud of you and your progress!”

“Right. Thanks.” The cat finished awkwardly.

After that, the residents gave honest (if stilted) information about themselves, to the obvious delight of the princess. Well, everyone but Alastor.

“Al, aren’t you going to participate?” She gently asked the deer demon.

He sighed but dutifully listed “My favorite color is red, precisely blood-red. My mother’s name was Clementine and mine was supposed to be Alastair, with A-I-R at the end, not O-R, but the clerk who wrote my birth certificate was almost illiterate.” He tapped his finger to his chin, trying to think of another anecdote to mention “Oh, and I love Swing music. Recently, I discovered the youth reinvented it, calling the new version Electro-Swing, which I find marvelous. Good to know people still have good taste, ha ha!”

The redhead looked at Lucifer, sitting beside him, who also had shared only that he liked ducks, sweets and his daughter. He had been glad for the short answer, as it gave him leave to hand pick inconsequent facts that can’t be used against him later.

At his gaze, the devil smiled and shifted his form into a snake and curling into his lap, and Alastor could only stare at the animal; a small snout, big soulful yellow eyes with deep red pupils, smooth white scales that had a nice texture, and a blood-red belly that one could only see partially from his coiled position.

He wanted to squish it, tear it apart, twist it into a knot, maul it to paint it gold and see the colors contrast with each scale, bite it and chew and savor - He removed his claws before he could accomplish any of the thoughts running in his mind “I recommend you take back your natural form, Lucifer.”

“Huh? Why? Do you hate snakes? I’m sorry…” He timidly apologized.

“Ma maison, I only have a small problem regarding cute animals. I’ve an insatiable urge to kill them. Violently. So could you turn back? It’s easier to refrain with your normal form.” It was only with the deafening silence that came after his words that he noticed he indirectly called Lucifer cute, in front of everyone, too.

He looked up to see Charlie with stars and hearts flowing out of her, Husk seemed extremely disturbed, Angel and Cherrie looked like they were watching their new favorite soap opera, Niffty’s face perturbed him, she looked like when he found her reading one of her bizarre japanese comic books (Yois or whatever was the name she called them…). And Vaggie’s expression was an Ode to one’s regrets about merely existing. He felt much like her.

Alastor isn’t used to feeling embarrassed, or to saying and expressing more than he meant to. He wasn’t sure what to do now that he admitted he found his king cute, of all things. He gazed back down when he felt the archangel shift into himself again, still sitting in his lap and now blushing a glowing gold. He still wanted to squeeze the life out of him.

He was just coming up with something to say when he felt it. The magic. The loathsome presence. Here.

Freezing, the deer demon turned towards the door. “Umbre.” He spoke quietly, not quite a whisper, but near enough to alarm the others who weren’t prepared to the whiplash of their carefree moment ending so suddenly.

Thankfully, the shade only needed to do a double take on his friend's expression to understand how serious the situation had just turned. The specter quickly slithered outside to spy on the approaching threat.

As soon as he spotted Them moving past the gates of the hotel he hurried back, immediately sending his tendrils to the Morningstar family as the sign that the one that had cursed Alastor with his Contract was coming.

— Lute’s intermission, we’re going all the way back to Extermination day —

The dimly lit break room the Exterminators come to when they come back from hell never bothered her before. It didn’t use to feel cold and dark. Usually, Adam is there to crow about their latest success in culling the sinners into more agreeable numbers, removing threats.

She wanted to go back down immediately. She wants to get revenge for her superior, for the First Winner, for the Best humanity had to offer. Teach those fuckers who is the bitch. Remind them that they’re allowed to breathe still only because heaven let them.

But as soon as she stepped out of the portal she was handed thrice the amount of paperwork she usually gets after one of their expeditions and steered to a room she had never been to before to fill them urgently. “Unbelievable.” She muttered bitterly “You’d think they want more than signed papers after what happened.”

Her hands trembled as she grasped her pen tighter, furious about the unending heartless protocols. Adam just died, and instead of organizing the retaliation or the funeral, she’s- she’s-

She’s signing contracts dictating she’ll be taking his place.

They didn’t even ask if she needed a doctor or a healer before pushing all this bureaucratic bullshit on her. Drops of blood and sweat (it was sweat and Not tears, she wasn’t crying; she knew the priorities and now was not the time to cry. Fuck you, those weren’t tears) dirtied the documents. “Do they even care?”

Raw grief mingled and simmered with her anger. Adam was important for her, for all of the Exorcists; they were his girls and he was their man, superior and friend. He was funny, he was her life and laughter. She’d even dare to say he was her love. And yet she was drowning in red tape to take his place instead of giving him any of the things he deserved; if not a good burial, then at least the heads of the demons responsible.

“It’s not fair.” She growled after a cherub left what is apparently going to be her new office, leaving behind even more papers for her to sign “None of this is fair!” She's already been at this for hours, but now it’s clear she’ll be busy for days.

Amidst her desperation, she had an idea. If she was going to be stuck here for who knows how long, writing her name until her wrist fell off, and going to meeting after meeting with the higher ups (because now that it was common knowledge what they were doing in hell, things had to be protocoled like never before, with three copies of everything and reports done by hand by every Exterminator, read and signed by her, methods, weapons, numbers. Fuck that bitch for coming up here and exposing the Extermination), then she was going to delegate someone else to take care of the garbage.

However, it seemed almost like they wanted to imprison her. Every time she left, a cherub would usher her back with at least twenty more pages for her to fill. By the time she finally managed to sneak out of her “new office”, the night had turned to day and then to afternoon. Almost 24 hours since the Exorcists had left for hell the day before.

It took her who knows how long to move discreetly to the beach house of the first whore , but she was now finally in front of her. Hours and hours after her battle, still filthy with sinner’s blood and her own, missing a limb, missing Adam. In front of the first moron who for some inexplicable reason didn’t want to be married to him, went and fucked a failure of an archangel, went and fucked the entire Humanity while she was at it too! Only to come back crawling to heaven at the first opportunity she got.

And she was here. Relaxing and Sunbathing. Like she had absolutely no responsibilities to any of the numerous travesties that had befallen paradise almost exclusively from her actions.

What is worse is that Lute knows how Contracts and Deals work. This fucker felt it the moment Adam died and all she’s been doing in tanning.

“Adam is dead. Your Deal is done. And I’m in charge now.” Lilith didn’t even move to acknowledge her words and she reeled in her desire to kill this reprobate by taking a deep breath, she had to get some use out of her first “Your brat is threatening the very foundation of Heaven. And if you want to stay here, you’re going down there and stopping that bitch. You understand me, Lilith?” She pointed down towards hell then at her.

She might be stuck up here wrangling heaven into taking any action against those worthless souls between her new piles of useless bureaucracy. But this trash had all the freedom to be doing something useful, and by God she’ll get her to fix at least her dog of a daughter into behaving before she beheads every single one of them.

If Lilith cooperates properly she might even consider letting her come back up one last time for 5 minutes before she finishes her off. Better not to leave any sinner in existence, after all.

Notes:

Go cuss me out in the comment section XD I might post the next chapter early if you do lmao

Chapter 29: Lilith’s Intermission

Summary:

If Lilith cooperates properly she might even consider letting her come back up one last time for 5 minutes before she finishes her off. Better not to leave any sinner in existence, after all.

Notes:

Fair warning, I'm going to imply that God said men and women should be equal when He made Lilith, but changed His mind by the time He made Eve.
Bc I think that was a thing? Children should serve women should serve men should serve God? I remember vaguely that that was the hierarchy taught in christianity... (in my grandma's house?) anyway I don't know much about religion so my point is that I might be changing biblical (???) canon lmao
Rozemyne21 pointed out that Lilith is from the Jewish folklore so I guess I'm not doing any worse than canon hazbin levels of saying the christianity isn't accurate haha

Lilith hadn’t wanted to create hell. That wasn’t her intention when she started questioning and contradicting Adam. She hadn’t even wanted to end their marriage when she told him off for all the times he would talk over her or interrupt her.

She just wanted them to be equal.

That’s how they were made, to be equal to each other. But Adam didn’t seem to have gotten the same memo as her. He acted like he was the closest thing to God she could ever reach, like his word was law, like his interests, opinions and preferences were more relevant than hers.

She just wanted for him to listen to her. Make an effort to do what she wanted, instead of her having to basically demand it. She spent so long arguing and fighting the first man.

And then she met Lucifer, then known as Samael. And he did everything she always hoped Adam would to do for her; agreed, complimented, helped. Most often than not without her even needing to ask him to do it. At the beginning, their relationship was purely platonic. Angels and other holy beings were born entirely sexless and chose how to express their gender later in life. Sometimes they never even formed any specific genitalia. Samael was like that, androgynous and male only in pronouns.

Her friendship with him made her even more aware of how lacking Adam was in comparison. With the blonde there was dialogue, he paid attention to her, she mattered to him.

Adam didn't like how much time his wife spent with another man, even a “dickless one” as he’d call Samael. When the archangel began showing interest in her, her then-husband was even more against it.

At first, she’d egged on the archangel’s crush just to piss off the first man, and to show him that he had competition. She was hoping jealousy would motivate him into being more to her taste, or at least more willing to listen to her.

Instead, God gave Adam a new tame little girl and told her to be with Samael.

That’s not what she wanted, and she wasn’t happy with it. However she was not going to crawl back to Adam. If the first man was going to get the perfect wife for him, she was going to make Samael the perfect husband for her.

But the main difference between the two men is that the archangel was way stronger than her. The first man was human just like her, after all. What happened if she pushed too far on the blonde's boundaries? What were his boundaries?

She started testing them; subtle things of course, just some requests to make the other exactly like she wanted; always meet me with flowers, wear this, lower your voice, speak with a deeper tone from now on, be smaller, be bigger, change this feature, remove this, add that… Seeing how far he’d bend with just her words. Then how much did she have to do? Ask repeatedly? Tell him she asked this a long time before? Would he recognize when she was lying? What’d he do if he caught her in a lie? What gets him angry? What makes him retaliate?

But she simmered at the fact she had to do all of those tests to get her perfect partner, while her ex-husband had his pre-made just to his size. 

So when she was sure of how moldable and tame her new lover was, she thought to get a little revenge on Heaven. Nothing drastic, it’s just that she had the Light-Bringer doing her bindings without question, so why not use that?

Hence, she started to get him to question things he was and wasn’t supposed to do according to God. It was inadvertently another good test; would he put Father above her in the priority list?

The answer was a glorious ‘No’. Oh, he needed a little bit of convincing, but at the end of the day, he listened to her. With some more time and planning she got the perfect idea to get back at Heaven and her ex.

His new pet wife would get in trouble for doing something she shouldn’t, and she’d do that by making The Samael be the one to lead her into doing the deed. Maybe it would even make Adam understand that having a thoughtless follower for a bed warmer isn’t a good idea.

But Eve fucked that plan. After biting the Forbidden Fruit she went and got Adam to also eat it. How was she supposed to know knowledge would bring evil to all of humanity? Lucifer had to shoulder the consequences of his actions and she was stranded into hell with him for being his wife. Like being his wife was reason enough to condemn her to eternal punishment when she hadn’t even wanted to be with him in the first place.

Falling to hell was painful, and the place was dreadful, but you can never say she didn't try to get the best out of an awful situation. At first it was tolerable to be down there with Lucifer (as he lost the right to call himself Samael when he fell), as she had trained him well into a befitting partner for her. But he was depressed. She tried everything to get him to stop acting like he got the short end of the stick when she was the one pulled down with him, but the longer the time they spent in there, the worse he seemed to get.

She should be considered a saint for how long it took to start letting her frustrations out on him, how long it took for her to find better partners to warm her bed when he couldn't deliver. The least he could do was take it all, being the reason she landed down there. But after some thousands of years, even that wasn't enough to compensate for the shit she had to withstand.

Therefore, she was completely in her right to plan on how to get back at God and all of heaven for banishing her without reason. She needed some compensation, and if God wasn't forking it up, she'd get what she wanted herself.

And what she wanted was for heaven to have a taste of the disgrace that surrounded it, to have its precious peace broken like they did to her own. She wanted war between the realms.

Except, just after she amended the Overlord Ledger so that it would automatically notify her to any new souls bound to it so she could cherry pick the strongest from the beginning, Sera was already asking about unrest, and the angels took no time to instill the Exterminations when even a whisper of such arose. Lilith knew whatever soldiers were amassed in one year would never be able to topple heaven, so her plan got more sophisticated. Holy beings were naturally cocky. Too sure about their power and of God’s favor. She’d make them utterly overconfident, unable to see what was going on behind the screens.

All she had to do was make a couple of Deals. Usurpers, riots and insurgencies that’d affect other realms (secretly instigated by herself) were reported quickly (given just enough time to appear like a possible threat) in exchange for the luxuries that were hers by right; safety and some land in heaven.

There was always someone greedy for more power, more territory, more souls. It was just a matter of leaving one of the borders insufficiently protected then tattling to the self righteous holy chickens.

Then, when the Extermination focused on the “rebels”, she’d pick the strongest ones, those with the most potential, and she’d “save” them from certain death. That way she’d slowly collect the best, most vicious, most powerful subjects and when the time was right, she’d have all she needed to destroy everything cherished by God, starting with his little golden children.

Culling demonkind almost yearly may seem counterintuitive by a human’s mortal standards, but she has eternity to realize her vision. All she did was prune off the weak. And it was going exactly as planned; the first woman had a dozen Overlords in her pocket, each known for how capable, influential and fierce they were. 

She’d feed them thousands of souls, watch them grow, reward their arrogance, and when their army looked ready to blow, she create an argument with Lucifer about how this or that was coming to ruins because his useless depressed self was doing whatever he was doing while she had to haul ass to get what she deserved of her afterlife.

While the so-called king of hell was distracted by the inane imaginary problem she made up, she’d create an opening in the barriers on some spot, then she’d give a tip to her Overlords of which border had “less magic” floating in that direction to produce a mutiny.

Like that, for thousands of years she had slowly made her perfect soldiers; bloodthirsty souls to one day throw up at God and make him watch as his play things were taken from him .

And then almost every one of her heavy hitters was destroyed by 1950. Done by One. Single. Soul. And not even a holy one.

Alastor popped in hell almost like he was exclusively made to get in her way. He’d target only the souls that were part of her army, be them Overlord or not. Every time he’d come in contact with one, he’d End them. That shouldn’t even be possible for a human sinner soul.

It got to the point that she was suspected of some foul play, considering how consistently her reports used to be. “Wasn’t it human nature to be violent? Why the sudden drop in your reports?” But from the moment he appeared, she couldn’t rally the fuckers because they were too scared of the Radio Demon to act out, even to spy on him. She couldn't denounce them before they did anything, couldn’t know more about him nor how he killed the sinners. What sense would it make for her to fake a huge paper trail pointing him to be a threat to heaven if everytime any angel saw him they would come back with tales of the demon who facilitated their jobs by killing or guiding them to heaps of obviously hidden demon soldiers?

Not only did she have to start from scratch, every step she gave forward was stopped immediately. She had to slow down her multiple-millenia-in-the-making plan. All because of one deer.

At least it also showed that she needed a safety net. Someone to point at in case the Saint Shites clued in to the fact she isn’t a dumb blondie dancing to their tunes. And so she made a report of how Alastor was murdering hordes before she could get intelligence on them, to excuse the fact that recently they had less attacks to deal with. But that also meant she couldn’t kill him immediately (though she couldn't even get anyone to try to assassinate him), or it’d be obvious that someone was planning something and she didn’t want to waste her time “organizing an investigation”.

Then she turned to her mostly useless husband and demanded an heir, but she was not going to lower herself to the undignified position of bearing their spawn so she had him use magic so he’d be the one pregnant. With a girl, as they’re easier to manipulate. Someone to raise into a general. A scapegoat she can blame if the “higher-up” starts wisening up again to the fact that they were following her tune.

The princess got a bit too many of the worthless aspects of Lucifer, and she wasn't sure if the girl took roughly thrice as many years to age on the fact she was a nephilim or on her being a hellborn, but she was dependent and controllable, at least. At the time Charlie became an adult by her father's calculations, Lilith left for a well earned vacation in heaven, sure that without her guidance the child would be lost and finally understand how awful hell is and would be more than willing to do her mother’s bidding to destroy God and His creations.

The only thing that could stand in her way was the deer. It had been long enough that she wouldn’t be suspected if he were to go missing, but she thought it would be better to let some one else end the Radio Demon just to be sure. Not to mention she was curious about how he managed to destroy souls without heavenly steel. So one year before she had planned to leave she made contact with him and slowly got him to trust her, and then when she had him, she got to the fun part of breaking him piece by piece. It was almost disappointing how quickly he bent, she was starting to enjoy herself imagining how else to put him in his place. Also unfortunate, that he didn't seem to know his own method of ending souls.

She threw him back into hell so some other sinner could devour or enslave him, sure the appearance of the defeated Overlord would work in her favor, and brushed her hands off this particular annoyance.

Then she started enjoying her rightful place on her comfortable beach. She was thinking of letting her daughter steam in hell for a decade, so she had at least two more years to tan under the perfect sun of heaven.

But not even a year later Lute came to rudely tell her that Charlie was instigating rebellions on the scale that were “threatening the very foundation of heaven”.

She did love when her plans worked even more efficiently than she had hoped for.

Notes:

Did this help? No? I'm sorry, I was feeling evil when I wrote this part of the fic.
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What? I'm not post 3 chapters on the same day wait for tomorrow :P

Chapter 30: Code Red

Summary:

She did love when her plans worked even more efficiently than she had hoped for.

Lilith stood up at Lute’s demand for her to go to hell, mostly so the angel would leave and so she could prepare to go back down and continue her plans. Her Deal was with Adam after all, the Exorcist had no control over her.

The (now) one armed girl went back to wherever she came from (hopefully to shower, seriously, she was covered in blood) and the first woman took her time getting ready to go celebrate her daughter’s first fight against heaven. She needed to reward her good behavior to ensure Charlie repeated it from now on.

Off with her swimwear, on with her best dress, makeup and perfume, hair done and crown in its proper place, her favorite heels and her fine jewelry. She gave herself one last look in her mirror to see her perfect figure, ready to once more lead hell to glory. Ready to restart her guiltless crusade against God.

She teleported to the Pride Ring, and took in the direction she felt the princess was dwelling in; she made sure to leave a tracking spell on her future general before leaving, in case the silly girl got some rebellious idea in her head against her queen while she was gone.

Lilith calmly walked through the district, she landed close to where her spawn should be but she wanted to sightsee. She couldn’t help noticing that hell didn’t change much since she left. Pity. She was hoping for some more carnage and proof that without her influence this place would come to ruin. Guess it takes a little longer before the effects are truly visible.

She already could see the building the girl is currently at. It’s grand, although the giant apple was tacky, and reminded her too much of Lucifer. But at least the girl wasn’t like her father. If she hadn’t insisted, the fool would have them live in a small house.

The tart scent of angel blood was still stinking the place, considering how little time has passed since the apparent slaughter of the Exorcists she wasn’t surprised.

She entered the perimeter of the building and saw the outdoor announcing it the Hazbin Hotel and scoffed. Of course, I was giving the child too much credit. Lucifer’s blood wouldn’t have a proper place for someone of her station; no, she’s living in a hotel. Ugh. Lilith frustratingly massaged her temple and approached. At least the place was luxurious.

The queen threw open the entrance, and the first thing she saw was Charlie standing beside an angel girl. Did she manage to corrupt some of the Exorcists? My, how devious.

Then was her ex-husband, what was he doing here? Maybe Lucifer heard about the last Extermination and that’s why he’s here? She’ll have to teach Charlie to simply slap the failure archangel then close the door on his face, from now on.

Finally she saw her old toy. Could it be that as soon as I got rid of the thing, my daughter came and continued to entertain herself on the broken plaything? She could feel a smile spread on her face at the thought. Imagining Alastor crawling back in hell, maybe with one last hope of being able to find a corner to lick his wounds and find a way back in power, only to become the pet of her own spawn.

“Sweetie, you should ask permission before taking in stray animals. Lucky you, I already know this one is house-broken and trained, so I guess you can keep it.” Lilith prowled to the group, noticing some other sinners behind them but looking only at Alastor. The pest didn’t look as submissive as he’s supposed to be “Which reminds me. I’ve already taught you to not be on the furniture, pet.”

She barely had time to feel satisfaction at watching the radio demon kneel as she conditioned him to do in her presence when she suddenly found herself bound by golden chains. “Lucifer! What’s the meaning of this??” She snapped as her arms were rigidly stuck to her sides and legs tied together, the chains now the only thing keeping her up, as the sudden position would have unbalanced her otherwise.

But the archangel didn’t answer. He was looking at her in a cold manner she’d never seen from him before, opening and closing his mouth, clearly looking for something to say. Lilith saw an opportunity in his indecision “Release me this instant! Your incompetence as a parent does not give you the right to do this to me, as your wife-”

“Quiet.” The word had clearly been bespelled to be compelling, for she truly couldn’t speak anymore. The small man stared at her for a full minute, and nobody moved as they wondered what could be going through his mind. Eventually he closed his eyes and sighed, then snapped his fingers enforcing her magic to produce the Contract she had with Alastor.

He read it. It was exactly like Umbre had said. Every clause was as hellish as was described. He didn’t know what to say, faced with how depraved his wife became. Was she always like that? If yes, why did he fall in love with her? Or when did she get this bad? Was this his fault? Did he ruin her? Was it hell that did it?

He felt himself spiraling, as he often does when he dwells too long on Lilith, but then he felt a pull on his leg. He looked down and saw Alastor kneeling on the floor, but carefully reaching for his pants. Lilith probably ordered him at some point to always revere her presence.

He might not be sure about what he’ll do with the first woman, but he did promise to free his- boyfriend? If that's their label…

Shaking his head he turned back to the Contract and sent his magic into it to tear the chains, watching as his wife convulsed in pain, probably silent only because of his earlier command. Meanwhile Alastor had the marvelous feeling of his powers flowing back to him, warming him from inside as he stood, no longer bound by Lilith’s demand to always bow to her. While the first woman had to suffer as no small amount of magic was ripped from her, not even receiving a pittance back as she would have, had she broken the Contract herself.

“As my Wife, you said.” The king intoned sharply “Yes, that’s what you’re supposed to be. My wife. The mother of my child. You’re not supposed to throw your wedding ring at me and take my daughter from me only to abandon her right after. You were supposed to be with her instead of kidnapping a random soul just to torture him for years using a inhumane Contract.”

He looked at the woman he loved for many millennia, removing the compulsion to stay silent from her as he asked “Why? Why did you leave Charlie? I can understand why you left me, you made no secret about how much I pissed you off every other day in the last thousands of years, but you were the one to suggest we have a child as soon as reports of hell becoming safer surged. So why take her from me, only to leave her behind?”

Lilith breathed heavily from the pain, still unable to move. She looked up, gazing intently at her husband's eyes before spitting “I own no explanation to you. Now release me. Before I get angrier with you.”

Lucifer knew what she wasn’t saying. That as soon as she was released she’d make him pay for making her lose face. Once or twice when he ‘Spoke out of turn’ she’d beat him for attempting to make her subservient to him. He felt bad on those occasions, for he thought it was his failure that she felt for even a moment that he wanted to force her into the role of obedient wife.

But he’s so tired. And he didn’t love her anymore, and didn’t think she loved him anymore, for him to keep siphoning his energy into the toxic relationship he’s been in for thousands of years. For him to lay and take whatever she’d dish out to him just to keep their Marital Contract.

Or to be more accurate, their Marital Deal.

“Lilith. Be truthful, do you love me?” He finally asked, lacing his fingers together, seeming almost like he was praying.

She scoffed and sneered “Seriously? You didn’t take the hint when I threw your cheap useless ring on your fool face? No, you idiot. I. Hate. You.”

The devil kept still for a bit, looking at her with hazy eyes, not really seeing her at the moment and speaking with an emotionless tone “Maybe I am a fool. Holding to the hope that this could be ended without me having to hurt you. That you’d have an explanation you’d run to tell me. But you want to hurt me, both physically and emotionally. All those years together, did they mean nothing to you, Lili?”

The first woman scowled and rolled her eyes, trying to wiggle out of her restraints as she angrily retorted “Fucking God! Do you even hear yourself? Before I met you I had a comfortable and stable place under the sun, I lived in paradise! I was Holy! You ruined my life! I had to marry you and watch as my dick of an ex got everything handed to him on a Platinum platter! And when you made Eve eat that Apple I got thrown down with you! What meaning do you want me to find from a mud house built among pigs??”

Lucifer questioningly inclined his head “I think I should remind you that the Apple was as much your idea as it was mine, but that’s irrelevant right now.” He shook his head and then asked, still in the same even tone “When you promised me Unconditional Love, were you lying?”

She tsked “You were useful, so long as you could be a showthing to prove to Adam I got the better end of the stick when he got a living sexdoll for him, exactly to his specifications. I had to make you fit, and you never truly learned your place, did you Lucifer?”

She watched with perverted glee as tears streamed from the king’s eyes. He might be putting a brave front, but he was clearly distraught. She hated the man, but she always loved to witness such a powerful creature bend and cry for her.

However, her smile disappeared from her face when the archangel cupped his hands around a white magic band that was tying them to each other. She frowned in confusion, until he started speaking again, in a multitude of voices she recognized from when he used to be divine.

“Lilith Morningstar, First woman made in God’s image, First Sinner, Royal Queen of hell. Our Bond was to be eternal. Our Promise was to be forever. Our Deal was until existence did us part. To Love, And Continue Loving, Unconditionally. You admit to not Loving me, to not Having ever Loved me, and only accepting me under Conditions. Thus, you breached our Deal before God and Magic. By His Grace, this Deal is null. By my Grace, it’ll no longer be maintained. By magic’s Grace, let it be Broken.”

Having finished the chant, the white bond started fraying, and his voice was back to normal as he added “It’s funny, heaven and hell have the same system for magic agreements. Contracts, Deals and Favors. But heaven has a shit ton of bureaucracy. It’s always a ceremony with them. You’d complain about that all the time. Actually, I don’t remember you ever not complaining about Eden, Hell, Adam, God or me. If it exists, you find a way to bad mouth it. What will you complain about now, Lilith No-name, First woman and First sinner?”

With those words, the bond snapped.

Chapter 31: Oh snap

Summary:

With those words, the bond snapped.

Lilith barely had time to register what Lucifer had said to her before unimaginable pain assaulted her senses, and she could do nothing but scream, contorting in the chains that still bound her as she felt her entire self burn while almost all of her power was stripped from her.

Like the archangel had said, both realms had the same system for Magical Agreements, and they work in a similar fashion to each other; power flows in and is distributed according to the binding words, spoken or written. 

To finish Magical Agreements, you can either Die (if you cease to exist, no dues need to be paid), Finalize the agreement (if both sides pay their part, the Agreement painlessly dissolves, giving them a boost), or Break it.

Now to Break a dealing depends on if it was worked in the form of a Vow or a Pact. In a Vow, magic is used to guarantee no stipulations can be broken. While in a Pact there is no forceful maintenance of rules, and the magic only exists to keep the agreement valid.

Those who agreed to a Vow (willingly or not) can’t Break them, as those are anchored on the magic of whoever made them. The maker of the Vow can break it if they want, or you can petition Lucifer, as the king of the sinners, to purview and break it instead. Whichever the case, the method is to root through the anchoring magic and forcefully terminate the agreement. Then, whoever had the shortest end of the stick gets back all that was being funneled into the Vow, while the other will lose everything they were getting, and won’t get back anything they were channeling into it. Much like what he did between Lilith and Alastor. The deer got all his powers back, while she lost the magic she was draining from him and got nothing in return.

Otherwise, a Pact may be Broken only by being renounced by the one who made it, to which the power will then be returned according to what was given. The one who received the most power out of the agreement will be the one to feel the most pain, as the magic rushing back out of their body will feel like someone took their very veins and pulled. The more balanced the exchange of power, the less painful it will be to rupture it.

The Deal between the king and queen of hell was done more so Lucifer would know his wife would be fine, especially when their Fall was a certainty. The Pact was made quietly, whispered to each other as his wings were cut off and his halo ripped out of his head, holding hands and promising to love and share equally. At least, the king had thought they were promising each other, but Lilith had been only emptily agreeing.

The first woman wasn’t aware their words at that moment were binding. That most of her magic had been given to her by her Deal shared with Lucifer and not by her Fall. She assumed she could feel her strength grow as they plumeled to the abyss because being a demon granted more power than being a human.

Anything she’d wished well for the archangel or gifted with no secondary intentions would count for the Deal. But she never tried to do anything to keep the balance in their relationship. That means that, once more, she was only having her powers taken from her.

Lucifer on the other hand, watched sadly as he couldn’t feel himself lose anything, proving to him once and for all that his wife truly hadn’t wanted to share anything with him, in all the 10 thousand years they had together.

The small blonde man started to frown however when more than a minute passed and her screaming didn’t abate “Something is wrong. The amount of power she lost would be painful but not this continuous, it should’ve stopped by now.”

“I can answer that.” He turned back to the others at Umbre’s voice, coming from a radio in the parlor. And saw the shade look at the broadcaster.

The exchange of gazes meant something to the sinner, for he reached out his hand to grasp the specter’s own “You have my permission to speak. Our Deal is now done.”

A small spark of magic flared between them before the shadow nodded “As you’ll remember, I said that she tricked Al into an Exchange of Favors. Sinners will suffer the longer they leave a Favor unpaid, but Royals don't count as sinners.” He turned to the king “She’s no longer your wife, she’s not a queen. Which means she’s not a royal anymore. So every Favor she owns, from every demon she owns, for the many years she owns; they’re now hitting her all at once. And she did this to way more sinners than just Al. She’ll have to hunt down every one of them that’s still alive and strike a Deal with them to repay whatever they’re entitled.”

She continued to express agony in a horrifying display. Lucifer and Charlie could no longer look, not wanting to watch the woman they had such a close connection with be tormented, even understanding now some of the things she’s done.

As the princess cried on her girlfriend’s shoulder, Vaggie asked “Is there nothing we can do? I know she, kinda- deserved? Some of this? She did it to herself, but this is a bit too much…”

The shadow looked pensieve for a moment. “To be honest, I don’t know of anything we can do, I’m not even sure she can do anything- she needs to be able to speak or at least make herself understood to strike a Deal. And she currently can’t stop screaming…”

Charlie sobbed; her mother was always distant and overbearing, and she couldn’t imagine why she attacked Alastor, but that didn’t mean she wanted her to suffer, especially not this much.

The deer demon watched the woman who did her best to torture him for 7 years, the beast that had treated Lucifer so horribly, the sad excuse of a mother who abandoned her child for petty comforts in heaven. His permanent smile was not easy to read, although the others were too busy or distracted at the moment to try. He was content, he felt satiated and vindicated. He was free, and his freedom brought this tormentor indescribable pain. If he was alone he’d have allowed her to simmer in the consequences of her actions for months, at least.

He wasn’t alone, however. And while he felt glee at the show he was witnessing, the pest’s poor daughter was soft and distraught and her father also griefed over her, and as much as he hated to admit, Umbre was right when he said he’d cared for them.

He sighed as he himself would cut short the suffering of an enemy, but there was nothing to be done, “I can think of one method to possibly alleviate her pain, at least enough that she might be able to speak to get herself in order afterwards.”

The princess perked up “Really?? Oh Alastor please, I know what she did-”

“Mon étoile du nord, I offer this only because you and your father are equally miserable with our current situation, otherwise I’d grab a snack and a drink and simply enjoy myself. So don’t thank me.” He gently interrupted, not wanting to give her the wrong idea “Now, I imagine that her biggest suffering may come from me, as she didn't really tally our Favors and betrayed me as a 'balance' to a Deal, so I suppose if I make a Deal worded just right and she accepts it, she’ll just be in a lot of pain, instead of this debilitating amount.” He wondered out loud, tapping his chin in thought.

With those words, he took his time mentally preparing the Deal he’d kindly offer the ex-queen (if he spent a couple extra minutes just to enjoy her pain a little more, no one will know) “You don’t inform or even hint to anyone about what you did to me while I was under your Contract, don’t ever try to damage my reputation, attack me or fight me in retaliation for my freeing myself from you and give up whatever plan you were concocting that brought you to kidnap me, I’ll consider all of the Favors you own me repaid and won’t demand any further retaliation for your previous slights against me. Do we have a Deal? You need only nod to agree to the terms.”

He knew she could hear and understand him, for the glare she turned on him was so poisonous he was sure if looks could kill, he’d be pulverized where he stood. She tried to say something in response but couldn’t control her vocal cords nor mouth enough to enunciate any words, barely able to lower her voice in an attempt to hold back her screams.

His grin only grew at the fact she loathed to be dependent on his benevolence, having to rely on him after all the years she treated him like an animal. Even more because he voiced that her hated spawn and ex-husband was the only reason he was offering; considering how proudly she stated her negative feelings for them, it probably added a nice dose of insult to injury.

Not to mention it’ll force her to give up whatever goal she had. He got the impression that’ll be the part that’ll piss her off the most. Which means it’s his favorite part of this Deal.

The deer continued to witness her struggle, smiling maliciously while the ex-queen painfully tried to weigh the pros and cons. By now he’d usually urge his prey to make a choice, pressure them into agreeing to his terms, but every minute that Lilith took was another minute he could watch her suffer. So just this once he was easily being very patient.

Finally, she admitted defeat and shamefully nodded, sealing her fate.

The magic took hold, forming the Deal. The first woman slumped, screams subsided to pitiful whimpers as most of her pain went away; the Favor she had with Alastor being answered with that monstruos Contract was the main root of the problem, as most of the demons she truly took advantage of died and so didn’t factor on the agony she had been feeling.

Her eyes, now filled with a mixture of both hatred and relief, bore into Alastor’s. He merely continued to smile, unwavering and sinister as he basked in her humiliation. He had shattered her plans, her pride was now in tatters and he even came out the over way smelling of roses; both the king and princess were clearly on his side as he had helped his new little future family against her.

What a bitter pill she had to swallow.

Lucifer turned away, unable to look at the broken form of the woman he once loved. “For our time together, Lils, I wish things had been different.” His voice was filled with sadness “You can’t stay here, for obvious reasons. And you are no longer welcome in the palace, for uh- even more obvious reasons…” he trailed off awkwardly, unsure how to say that now she was very much homeless unless she had something that wasn’t the Heaven beach house.

Thankfully, the ex-queen seemed to understand where he was getting at, as she shortly responded “I’ll be staying in the house I got for Charlie 7 years ago.”

Charlie sorrowfully spoke, cutting off her mom “Ah, actually that house got destroyed 6 years ago in a gang fight, the neighborhood was really bad. I sent you a voicemail, guess you really didn’t listen to any of them...” She finished in a mumble.

“Well, where the fuck am I supposed to live in, then??” The first woman demanded like it was their fault she had absolutely no safehouse in hell.

And Alastor would be more than happy to suggest she go live in some gutter, but he knew that’d only convince Charlie to offer the entitled soul a place in the hotel. So he instead hummed and snapped his fingers, summoning the paperwork of one of the Overlord's latest meetings dealing with territories and their population.

“Between Frederick von Eldritch's and Rosie’s domains is a bit of no-man’s land that recently saw a decline in violence and gang disputes, although that may have changed during this last Extermination. It was currently the safest place for new arrivals and we noticed a wave of weaker souls migrating there for this reason. Carmilla has the most gang fights on her borders, but if you agree to sign her Contract she’ll allow you to live in her area, which is pretty secure. Vox swears his zone is perfectly safe. You better hope to never step into Zastiel's territory, without being queen that's certain death. All the others state that hell is hell and there’s no reason for them to give a report about their district and I have no physical province.” With that he snapped his fingers again and the report disappeared.

“I recommend getting something nearer Rosie’s, you have too little meat to look appetizing to most cannibals.” He finished.

Chapter 32: Unraveling the evil

Summary:

“I recommend getting something nearer Rosie’s, you have too little meat to look appetizing to most cannibals.” He finished.

Just like that, amidst long winded rants and complains that could amount to nothing now that she had as much power as your average human, Lilith got kicked out of the hotel - Lucifer promising to send her belongings to her new place of residence as soon as she has one. Independent as she was, she had her finances split from Lucifer’s when she had first left for heaven, so that was a problem already dealt with. Now everyone can and will go their separate ways as wanted.

And while Alastor has no reason to stay here helping Charlie run the place, he now finds himself emotionally attached to this mess.

For the first time, the Radio Demon has a physical territory to his name. Or he will have as soon as he officially claims it in the next Overlord meeting. How fun it’ll be to see their expressions of disbelief as he explains that from now on he’ll be anchored to this goody hotel. They were probably betting on how long it’d take until my nefarious plans were revealed. Alastor chuckled.

After all, in all the months he has been a resident hotelier of Hazbin, he never marked any of it as his, really. It’s a known fact his radio tower is mobile so it being here wasn’t an indicator of anything. Any sinner could approach and do whatever they felt like, with the understanding that he was also in the region and bothering him was a surefire way to die painfully.

But now these grounds will be his, meaning any Overlord needs to ask his permission to come. And sinners associated with another Overlord, like Angel Dust, will also need to have a special permission to enter, agreed by both him and whoever they sold their soul to. Which means he should probably do something about the spider’s Contract with Valentino. Or at least hint at the fact that Lucifer can do something about his situation, see if he doesn't wise up.

But those were matters for the future, as of now what he truly wants to know is what in the fuck were Lilith’s plans, now that he’s out of her clutches. “Umbre, could you share what were her actual plans? I’ve been dying to know for years now.”

“Ah, yeah.” The shadow nodded “The very morning after she got you in heaven, Adam came to visit her to ask if she had gotten all that she wanted from hell. Their conversation led me to believe there was someone even higher up than him also aware that her beach house was ‘well occupied’ as was.”

“Wait,” Vaggie interrupted as the words registered to her “You mean to tell me that the whole time the Queen of hell was missing she was in heaven?!” The other residents of the hotel felt their eyes also widen at the question and Lucifer and Charlie gasped, it was finally dawning on them how much the first woman had betrayed them in the last years.

The shade jumped at the exclamation, having almost forgotten the audience before answering “Oh yeah, that’s not even the beginning, uh, I’ll try to be chronological, but I did discover all this in fragmented texts she wrote and as I spied on her, so. Y’know, fair warning and all that.”

“Lilith’s plans, from what I gathered from her army's reports, started- 7 thousand years ago? She’d mumble about getting back at God for sending her to hell with Lucifer after she put a lot of effort into making the Apple look like ‘Not her idea’, how she was sure nothing connected her to that clusterfuck, so she was deeply offended she got the same punishment as ‘The perpetrator’ when she had been forced to marry him in the first place.” Lucifer could feel his jaw drop. Lilith had started her plans that far back? No, that shouldn’t surprise him, she’d admitted she never loved him. But it’s difficult to believe that all their years together were just a convenient arrangement to disguise her real goals.

And she was offended they deduced she was involved in that mess? It's a known fact He sees all, and there wasn't even anybody else in Eden to have egged him on and convinced him to break one of God’s actual Laws.

“She also complained she couldn't convince Lucifer to make hell into a dynasty under her control so she could become empress or something. Apparently you were too depressed but still too into humanity to turn every sinner soul into a slave for her so she abandoned that idea and started on her current plan.” The archangel suddenly remembered how after the first couple of millenia down here, his wife became violent and more likely to gripe about any of the choices he had in the ruling of hell. Especially when he became disenchanted with the sinners, who only grew worse and more capable of evil, but still refused to take their freewill and just chain them to the royals as thralls.

“Which was to ruin everyone’s afterlife! Since she couldn’t get her desired afterlife being treated like some kind of pampered saint or minor goddess, then no one can be even minimally happy!” Umbre gesticulated with his hands.

Lucifer could feel a piece of his soul wither and die at the absurdity, but considering that he made her queen with a huge palace filled with servants and gold, precious gems, dresses, shoes and anything else she could desire was just a snap of his fingers away, and she still described it as a ‘mud house among pigs’, this all shouldn’t shock him as much as it does. Which, what the hell, she didn't even own a hut back in Eden, what was she talking about calling their palace in hell a 'mud house'?

Guess he was just in disbelief that Lilith really was Adam’s equal where it really counted. Both the first humans were truly made in God’s image, huh? Egocentric, narcissistic and full of shit.

“So her plan was to slowly make hell into a violent realm that would demolish itself as it blew apart heaven, hopefully to swallow the human plane in the war and, in her fucked-up words when she ranted to herself, ‘destroy all of God’s little toys in one swoop’. She wanted to form a bloodthirsty army to accomplish her dreams of mass suicide, but no way heaven wouldn’t notice that, so she’d inspire and empower the denizens like any queen is expected to do, carefully lead them into getting the idea to sprung war up to heaven in a way that couldn’t be traced back to her, then send a message about ‘what the sinners were doing’ to get repertoire with the higher up’s behind the pearly gates. When the angels started raining on us, she’d find the toughest and more malleable and give them a safe haven in exchange for a Contract. That way everyone trusts her and doesn’t see what she’s doing behind the scenes.” The shadow kind of paced as he explained the bulk of lunacy of the ex-queen.

You could hear a pin drop as the hotel’s inhabitants processed the fact that the queen of hell had been plotting a mass kamikaze operation against everyone’s wills simply because she had ‘her place in heaven’ compromised by her own pettiness. Seeing that no one was going to interrupt him yet with any question, the shade continued “After 7 thousand years accumulating Sinners and Hellborns Contractually obligated to help her tear into heaven someday, her army was just shy of eighteen thousand; can’t save too many soldiers on each Extermination and sometimes a bunch of her Contracted would die by not getting out of the way of the heavenly steel fast enough.” 

“For her warnings to heaven she got a Contract for some good stuff that we can’t get in hell; quality non-hellish meat and produce, heavenly materials and, after she had made herself to be on their side by warning them of enough insurgencies, some nice plot of land where she built a picturesque beach house with a prison dungeon. Y’know, like one does.” He said mockingly. “I guess because she was comfortable, as much as she complained she wasn’t being coddled enough, she didn’t mind that her plan was very long term. She was seeing as year after year hell was becoming more violent and filled with the kind of bastard that will realize her dream of killing God and everything around him, so it’s fine.”

He then pointed at his deer friend “But then, 1933 brought about the death of our Alastor here, spawning the Radio Demon into hell. And while that wouldn’t be notable, Al’s targets to kill and the type of soul the ex-queen had under Contract made a fascinating van diagram. It was a perfect circle.” The shade illustrated his joke by making a ring with his fingers “By 1957 all of her Overlords were ended and all of her gangs erased to the last member. Remember our game of guiding Exorcists to nests of scum? Not even one of them wasn’t in her pocket.”

The deer blinked, he’d never imagined his fun killing without having to bother hiding the bodies or disguising his activities was foiling Lilith’s plan from the beginning. But that made little sense; it’s been almost 7 decades since he accidentally started pulling the rug from under her, why did she attack him only 7 years ago?

Lucifer was confused by the timeline too, for he inquired “That was the year she asked me to have Charlie, why would she want a child while all that was happening?”

Umbre nodded, feeling like a detective explaining a crime scene “I asked myself, too. It’s pretty common knowledge the Princess was a planned baby, so why have her when all your hard work is falling around your ears? Also, why didn’t she go after Al when he’d been tap dancing on her schemes? I spent some time stuck on this, wondering if Lilith had half given up her murderous plots and decided to settle down and have a family, and something else happened now, leading to her sudden urge to fuck everything up again, but that didn’t seem to fit...”

But then he shrugged “In the end, it wasn’t something she wrote down on her diary so I can’t say for sure what was going on in her head when she decided to bring a baby into hell, but the one official that always visited to receive her reports on insurgencies gave me a pretty clear picture of what is the role Charlie takes on Lilith's mind now.”

“My role?” Charlie asked.

“You seem to be mostly a scapegoat. The official was pretty suspicious about how recently there weren’t reports nor signs of armies forming in hell and Lilith would point to the fact you existed, going on about how she ‘worked tirelessly’ to make hell a safe place for you and that’s why we don’t have one revolution per year anymore. It's clear that she was using the fact you were isolated during your childhood and not very known even now, as every so often I saw her make fake documents pointing to intelligence stating that you were a general in control of a small group of rebels, like she was making a paper trail to have you be a figure head leading her armies in case something got in her way again or someone found her operation before she could launch the crusade against heaven, so you’d take the fall in her place.”

“So Charlie was part excuse, part weapon, part safety net.” Vaggie grumbled, angry that her girlfriend had been used, that Lilith dared to set her up to conveniently take the blame if her revolting ideas didn’t bear fruit again. She calmed herself as the princess sobbed, covering her mouth, horrified that her mother viewed her like that. “Vida-” the fallen angel was interrupted by a hug as the taller girl started crying.

—

Alastor was somewhat glad the wretched woman had left already and that he had invested in that ritual that gave further control over his own emotions, because he was so incensed he could only imagine the insurmountable rage he would go into had either of those factors not been in place. Charlie, bright and cheerful Princess Charlotte, had been a planned baby alright, the plan merely involved using her and throwing her away at any opportunity.

How dare she? Lilith was holy? She had her place in heaven taken from her? Lucifer was born an archangel! His king was to be among the heaven’s court! The first woman must have been made with some kind of lunacy, for thousands of years thinking she was the one who was handed the worst hand. 

She bewailed so much about her lot in life God gave her a much better option and she dared to still gripe about it! She tricked the only other woman in existence at the time out of the childish egocentric desire to be Adam’s ‘only one’, when she was the one to argue she deserved better in the first place! It’s clear to the deer demon that she never treated her now ex-husband with any interest in making a good relationship, she only wanted to be worshiped; and here he was thinking that her actions during his interlude under her were an offshoot behavior.

He looked at Lucifer, suddenly wondering how much of his 7 years of torture mirroed the seraphim’s 7 thousand of ‘marriage’, and he vowed to never incorporate any of the first woman’s behaviors in his treatment of the small blond. He may have been apprehensive of allowing himself into a relationship, wishing to be able to use it to his advantage more than for any feelings he may have. For many reasons he still isn’t sure footed about it (his own inexperience, his parent’s marriage, Lucifer’s experiences…) but he’ll be damned if he ever becomes the sort of parasite that will do to this man anything similar to that bitch .

He will always look out for the best options for himself, but from now on he’ll be sure to also aim for the good of his beloved king.

—

Lucifer’s eyes were also shiny, his wife- Ex -wife had planned to have his baby girl only because she wanted to be able to point at someone and clean her hands of any blame. Because last time she tried to use Lucifer it didn’t work, so maybe a child could be raised into it.

All the times she forced Lucifer away from his daughter was so she could more easily brainwash her into being a general that’d accept any accusations in her place. All the times she nagged he was making her too soft is because she saw his little ducky as ammunition in her future war. Not only did she never love him, she never cared for Charlie either.

The king jumped as he felt hands on his shoulders leading him to the couch, so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t seen Alastor approach him. The deer had his permanent smile stamped on his face, but just by looking in his eyes it was obvious he was disgusted by the first woman’s actions, and he could also see a passion directed at him as he was gently led to a seat. And suddenly he felt truly grateful for this sinner, whose actions indirectly lead to his daughter's birth, who protected his baby and her dreams and inadvertently showed that a greedy wolf has been salivating over his little light for decades.

“Marry me.” Lucifer barely registered the words that had come from his mouth.

Chapter 33: Calling you up

Summary:

“Marry me.” Lucifer barely registered the words that had come from his mouth.

Alastor was caught so completely off guard he bleated. Thankfully for the deer's pride, the noise was mostly covered by the loud static noise that blared from the radio in the lobby (and echoed in many others spanning a good half of the pride ring), he hurriedly stopped the racket then flusteredly demanded “Good heavens- you just annulled your marriage to your wife not even one hour ago, are you listening to yourself?!”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to say that- not that I don’t want to marry you- it’s just not everyday you find out your boyfr- uh- date! Wait, partner? Friend? Ugh, whatever! You’re kinda the reason I have a daughter, apparently- and you’ve been keeping her safe by killing the secret army of the queen for decades. You did a lot for me so I just blurted that out, just pretend I didn’t say anything!” Lucifer rushed to explain, then hid his face under his hat to mumble “Father help me.” 

The scene was interrupted by loud laughter as Umbre started guffawing, and the residents of the hotel had the opportunity to witness the Radio Demon looking embarrassed as he scolded “Be quiet, you odious silhouette.”

However, the shadow didn’t seem to be able to stop, and after waiting a while, Alastor simply rolled his eyes and muted the radio with his powers. Ignoring Lucifer impromptu proposal (but also not answering it with a 'no') he cleared his throat “I can probably finish whatever he had to say anyway. Lilith wanted to get rid of me so she could go back to her plan, now that enough time passed that she could get away with it. Tricked me into signing a Contract and selling my soul, had me kidnapped for 7 years, and threw me back in here when she got bored. Was there anything else you had to add, you overgrown stain?”

None of the others could hear him, as the deer didn’t unmute the radio, but they watched his lips move as he brushed shadowy tears from his eyes. So hurtful, you. But I think I need to talk about her active Contract she had with the angel, at least her Deal with Adam is over. And Lucifer better find her later to check and make sure she can’t cash in anything dangerous in hell.

Whatever he said was deemed reasonably important by the Overlord, as they soon heard the shade speak again, directing his question at Lucifer. “You can verify any Contract Lilith owns, right? I think we need to contact heaven about the active one she has with a higher up and make sure she doesn’t have some Ace hidden down here.”

The king nodded “Of course, I can’t know about the Contracts she has with heaven, but I can already tell you that no subject of mine has an active Dealing with her. I would have noticed if she had one while our marriage Deal was being torn apart.”

That simplifies matters. Umbre thought rubbing his hands together “Then, let’s call some of our upstairs neighbors and tell them we’re changing the management of hell and point out who’s going to be affected by this change!”

Charlie sniffed having stopped crying while the shade was having his laughter crises, but was still puffy eyed from her tears “Let me call Emily, she looked like the… most reasonable one from the meeting we had, she’ll probably hear us out.”

Umbre shrugged, “Just show me a photo of her so I can tell if she’s the angel I saw with Lilith.”

— Let’s go back a few hours, with Emily —

Emily felt completely unreasonable right now! She was just so happy! Redemption worked! Like Charlie was talking about in their last meeting! One of her souls came here after all!!

Sir Pentious wasn’t expected, considering he was a newer resident of the hotel but that’s totally fine, everyone has a different learning curve, so no one could have imagined this little prodigy would pop up so soon.

And she was also a little (well, to be honest, very) disappointed with Sera, because she had insisted on her Exterminations, and persisted that it couldn’t even be pushed back six months to go back to the schedule it used to have, and now they have definitive proof that this all could’ve been resolved peacefully. But no, another massacre happened to the poor souls of hell.

She had half a mind to give her superior a good talking to. Or well, maybe she’d go find Gabriel¹ to give the message more properly. It’s not really her place to admonish a High Seraphim when she’s still in training.

Although, considering how shook Sera looked, maybe she should go find Raphael²…

But exactly because Sera was so off her game, Emily was able to put a bunch of bureaucracy to make the exterminations more difficult. She might not be able to stop those awful things completely yet, but she’ll be sure to have the first word before those Exorcists can talk about how genocide is a better tact than redemption.

She’s surprised that she has to build a case at all, but at least now she has a very strong point in her favor for that meeting.

…

It’s been a tiring 26 hours, she’s been working non-stop with her Cherub assistants to get in between Lute and any higher ups. She needs to get her report to them first, so she can help Charlie like she promised.

She got worried for a moment when she heard Lute had managed to sneak out of her new office (and, Oh my Father, Adam is dead. She knew this Extermination business was an awful, terrible idea, it was asking for someone to get hurt or worse) but Emily thinks she didn't manage to contact anyone before she got ushered to the medics.

She might have forgotten the Lieutenant was hurt in the battle. But everything is ok, her arm wasn’t taken off by a holy weapon so it was healing fine and would grow back during the week. Which was good for Emily, because that week would be spent in the hospital under observation and far away from any superior.

And that would make her relax, if it wasn’t for the fact that as she was building her case, she went to check all the reports about the Exterminations, as that would show her what arguments she had to bring forth to appeal for the Redemption approach.

But she wasn’t finding any helpful documents. Just a few pages every so often with Adam’s calligraphy stating the annual “meeting” with hell was successful and all “unrest” was “subdued”.

They were reports written by Adam, archived by Sera, presented to her superiors not yearly (like the timetable of the Exterminations), but every six years, at specific dates where the relations between heaven and hell are supposed to be discussed.

They… looked a lot like the words were carefully picked so no one not in the know would know that meeting means Extermination, unrest means Run for their afterlifes and subdued means Ended mercilessly. Well, she knows that no one below Sera in the hierarchy knew about this but, could it be? Certainly not…

Could the Exterminations not be something agreed by the Higher ups? Was Sera leading a mass slaughter every year behind everyone’s back?

She’s been pulling her hair out trying to find any paper trail that proves that she’s just getting paranoid after the mess with Charlie’s hearing, but she couldn’t find anything! It wasn’t under Exterminations, nor under Culling, or Yearly Reaping. She gave up entirely and started checking the entire hall of yearly reports, with as much help as she could get, but there was no paper to say ‘By orders of So and So, we have done this awful thing with our conscience completely free! Here’s the number of how many souls we erased from existence xoxo’. Nothing, zilch, nada!

Emily stares wide-eyed at the files around her, all checked and rechecked for any hint of proof that her superior wasn’t committing a heinous crime. Suddenly her cellphone chimes and she just about jumps out of her skin, before her trembling hand reaches it to see who is calling her.

“Charlie.” She mumbles in shock, for one instant she considers denying the call, but it could be important, and she has a duty to help, no matter how much her life feels like it was turned inside out, upside down and then twisted over salt and lemon.

Maybe she needs to sleep, her comparisons are starting to sound a bit morbid.

She accepted the call, vaguely looking at the organized chaos of the Record Hall “Hey, Charlie-” she stops when she hears the panic in her own voice. Some hours ago she was daydreaming about calling this girl to tell her about Sir Pentioius, now she can’t even greet her properly.

“Emily! Hey! Uh, are you ok? Your voice sounded a bit off…” Was the worried response.

“I’m… not sure I’m ok, to be fully honest.” She was told to be truthful. With no but or unless, just be mindful to not hurt any feelings but always the Truth. Sera taught her that. “Charlie… I can’t find any reports that prove the Exterminations were an above the table job, nothing to say this wasn’t all just Sera. No stamp from a higher up saying ‘Go ahead, murder away!’... Nothing.”

“I- what??” The confused princess asked.

“Yeah. So, is there any way this was a verbal Deal between your father and someone and, I don’t know, nobody wrote it down or something?” She knew she sounded maniac, but she’s been awake for some time now and she could almost feel this eating her alive. So.

“Uhhhh, one moment!” a muffled ‘Dad!’ could be heard before the voice got too far away from the phone to be identified.

Emily swallowed dry, this was all she had left; asking someone older than her, someone directly affected by this whole ordeal. Maybe Lucifer will pick the call and tell her how silly she was being, Gabriel was right there when they sealed this Deal, it’s archived in a different Hall, now let’s all take a deep breath and focus on the positive stuff.

—

“-What should I do????” Charlie asked her father after telling him what the seraphim had just told her on the phone.

Lucifer’s jaw was completely dropped, he didn’t know what to do either! Sera had been the go between heaven and hell since the beginning, none of his siblings wanted to see him after he fell so he had no reason to believe that any of them would want to be present to the Deal for the Extermination of any insurgence that appeared in the realm of eternal punishment.

“Can’t you check the veracity of any Deal, short king??” Angel Dust panicky inquired.

“I could if Sera was one of my subjects! I know my Deal is tied to heaven, but I can’t know if it’s with Sera who is in heaven, or with all of heaven which is in heaven!” Retorted the king.

“You didn’t check it when you made the Deal a million years ago??” Husk demanded.

“It was 7 thousand years ago and of fucking course I didn’t check! I was half extremely depressed as my marriage started going through the harshest patch ever and half working with the idea that righteous seraphims would treat Deals as sacred and one wouldn’t try to trick me into allowing the death of trillions. Why would I suspect someone I called a work colleague not that long ago at the time!” The fallen archangel held his apple cane in front of his body like a shield at the onslaught of questions.

“So all this time we’ve all been duped by a bitch in heaven?” Cherri Bomb wondered aloud.

Although the last question wasn’t directed at him, the king began hyperventilating, overwhelmed with all that was happening. He flinched as he felt Alastor’s hands on his shoulders but the calm enunciation of his name relaxed him soon after “Lucifer, ma maison. Breath, no one here is blaming you. Don’t you worry. But do you know who Emily should call to verify this Deal? Since we can’t do anything more from down here…”

We. Even now the deer was supporting him, one phrase to calm him down and one word to prove he’s not going to be left to flounder and fix this alone. He’s so fucking in love. 

Maybe I should ask him to marry me again?

Notes:

¹ I read in some angelology that Gabriel is the Herald of God’s words, so the joke is that he would be ideal to tell Sera that she’s not following the teachings of God and failing her job as a High Seraph.

² Again, some angelology said Raphael is the Seraph of healing, Sera needs to go see a doctor before she faints, lol.

Chapter 34: How do I send a polite corporate email to the COO that my manager is sus?

Summary:

Maybe I should ask him to marry me again?

Lucifer shook the thought out of his head, now wasn’t the time for his crush. Now that his anxiety had been placated the king breathed in deeply, then grabbed the phone to share the best advice he could give for this situation “Phanuel was given domain over Truth, and as an angel they’re probably easy to get a hold of on short notice. And ask Michael; everything in heaven that’s big has to go through him. Our Deal for sure would need to be approved by him if it was above ground." Then he pressed the speaker function, so the response from the seraphim could be heard by all.

“Phanuel or Michael, ok, right. Just ask Phanuel if my superior has been lying to everyone for multiple millenia and if they can’t just go to the biggest boss in heaven without counting God. I can totally do that. Easy.” The worst part is that the girl didn’t sound sarcastic at all, just scared out of her mind.

“Hey, Emily, right? That’s what Charlie called you?” Lucifer read her contact info to be sure of the name, waiting until he heard a ‘yes’ before continuing “I know this looks very intimidating right now, but you’re just projecting your worries, happens to the best of angels. You need to breathe in… and out. Great, you feel calmer now?” He guided, listening as she followed his instructions and assented “Greheheat! I didn’t say ‘or’ you’re going to speak with both of them. But! You don’t have to worry! You’re just an intern; calling your boss's boss to clarify a small doubt about the paperwork for the Extermination that's been going on yearly in hell for the last 7 thousand years. If Michael was aware of this, he’ll tell you everything you need to know about it. If he didn’t know about the situation, that’s when you call Phanuel, because you’ll want a witness that can reliably say you’re telling the truth while you share about all of this.”

The silence on the other side of the line was very, very loud. “She fainted, didn't she.” The devil spoke out what every person in the lobby was thinking. 

—

Thankfully it didn’t take long for the seraphim to regain consciousness and she immediately sat up on the desk she was sitting at and checked her phone to see if it was still connected to the call with the princess “Did your father really tell me I should have a witness?”

“Emily! Finally!! We were worried, you got silent for a minute there!” Charlie responded quickly in relief “Uh, well, to be honest, that seems like solid advice, all things considered…”

“I- I don’t know… I don’t have Michael’s number…” the stressed girl tried for an excuse.

The king’s voice chimed in response, “I have his old number, I don’t think he’d change it.”

“Couldn’t you call him, sir? I, I’m really nervous to call The Michael, especially with bad news…” Emily asked, running her fingers through her hair, jittery with nerves.

Lucifer sucked air through his teeth and answered “Yeah, that won’t work. See, the last I saw my siblings was, uh, y’know, in front of the Gates while I was being kicked out. I don’t think he wants to even hear my name, much less my call; either way, anything with hell’s area code is preemptively blocked in his cell, so… it has to be you.”

Emily swallowed dry, every angel has at least one guilt-pleasure dream of contacting one of The Seraphims. Like, The Big Ones. They’re Legends. Emily even pictured once, after Charlie left, that she’d meet them because she spearheaded the Redemption Program and that caused hell to, eventually, peacefully disappear, and that’d be so amazing.

This is nothing like any of her daydreams.

“Look.” Lucifer soothingly spoke again, clearly sensing how torn up she was about this “This won’t be easy, but it’s not as complicated as you’re afraid of right now. I’m going to give you Phanuel’s number, and you’ll send them a message saying ‘Hey, you don’t know me, but I was advised to have you on speed dial because I might be delivering some bad news to Michael, so are you free in case of an emergency?’. They’re going to say ‘Yes, of course!’ Because Phanuel is super nice and super helpful like that. Then, you’ll call Michael and say- are you writing this down? You’ll feel better with a script when it’s time to do it by yourself.”

Emily jumped, she had been trying to absorb the words coming from the phone like they’re Gospel, but writing it down seemed like a much better idea. She went about looking for a piece of paper that wasn’t the back of any of the reports she had been reading before “Right! Gimme a moment to grab a paper aaand- there! ‘Phanuel, are you free? I need your help because I’m delivering bad news-”

Alastor interrupted the young seraphim, picking the right words was always his specialty. “Don’t forget to present yourself first, ‘My name is-, you don’t know me’. Also write ‘Might be delivering bad news’; maybe Michael knew this all along and nothing of this is news to him.”

“Yes, right. ‘Good afternoon Phanuel. My name is Emily, you don’t know me, but I felt the need to contact you because I need to know if you’re free? I need help because I might be delivering bad news to Michael.’... Hmm, I don’t know, I feel like I put too many ‘needs’ in there…”

“Try; ‘Good afternoon Phanuel. My name’s Emily, you don’t know me, I’m contacting you because I need to know if you’re free. I might be delivering bad news to Michael, and I’d be grateful if you’d vouch for the truth of my words in case it’s necessary.’ ” The deer edited.

“That does sound better.” They waited a moment while she wrote down the final version of her future message to Phanuel “And Michael..?”

The king of hell continued “Ok, to Michael you’ll say; ‘Hey, my name is Emily, I got your number because I wanted to clear some doubts with you about the paperwork on Exterminations’ …uh, how to say this next bit…”

Alastor completed the phrase for him “Maybe ‘I hadn’t known about any of it until recently as my superior took some liberties on who needed to know about it, but now that the cat’s out of the bag, I’m a bit lost on how to follow protocol here.’ ”

“Oh, good one. ‘I’m just trying to follow protocol’ is the best get-out-of-punishment-free card.” Lucifer agreed.

—

They could hear the scratching noises as she wrote this down, too. “And done! ‘Hi Sir, I’m Emily. I got your number because I’d like to clear some doubts about the paperwork for the yearly Exterminations in hell. My superior hadn’t told me about any of it until recently, and I’m a bit lost on how to follow protocol now.’ but what if he asks me why I’m not asking Sera all of this?”

The radio demon answered this time “Then you tell him it’s because she’s somewhat busy now that the Extermination is to happen every semester and while looking for how to proceed you called someone, who called someone, who gave you Michael’s number. It’s the truth after all, you talked to Charlie, who called Lucifer, who gave you Michael’s contact.” As an angelic being, she’s certainly against lying, so telling her to just be a bit vague is for the best. Helping without any recompense isn’t much his style, but he can’t afford to not make sure this young lady goes to battle as prepared as possible, her next actions might change a lot about how hell works.

And considering how his relationship with Lucifer is going (he still can’t believe the endearing fool asked for his hand, in front of everyone), he imagines soon he’ll be very glad if he were to make hell a more peaceful land to govern over.

“But if we got to this point, Michael already knew about the Exterminations, so then just ask him what kind of process you need to follow and we all continue as usual. If he didn't know about it, trust me he's not going to ask what Sera has to say about it.” Lucifer chuckled sheepishly.

“What will he say?” Emily asked apprehensively. 

“Oh, uh- if he's still anything like he was back in the day he'll freak out a little bit, that's when you hang up on him and call Phanuel. Don’t worry about hanging up on his face, as long as you tell him where to meet before you do that he doesn’t mind.” Lucifer advised.

Umbre blinked, that sounds a lot like the type of act you only get a pass to do because you have younger sibling privilege. Should he warn the girl..? Nah, I need to have my fun with something. He laughed quietly to himself.

“Really? That’s a… very laid back attitude.” The young seraphim was shocked that someone as ancient and known as Michael wouldn’t care for such disrespect. But she didn’t know him like Lucifer did, so he probably knew best. (How Umbre wished he could be there to witness The Archangel Michael’s expression when this random girl hangs up on his face .)

“Yeah, he’s hard about rules but this stuff is water down a duck’s back for him.” Lucifer assured.

“Ok, I guess this is me then. Off to message Phanuel.” Emily encouraged herself.

“You do that, and call us back if you need anything else. Oh! On the very off chance Phanuel isn’t free right now, ask them for Eistibus number, Eistibus can Divine the truth of a statement if Phanuel can’t do it at the moment. Then just send the same message you sent Phan to Eistibus and you’re apples!” Lucifer said giving a thumbs up, even though it’s a phone call.

“Ok I- Oh!” They all flinched a bit at the loud exclamation of the seraphim when she seemed to be about to hang the call “Charlie! I almost forgot! I have huge news to tell you!!”

“Bigger than Sera might have been duping us all?” The princess was a bit apprehensive but Emily sounded enthusiastic so she was trying to be optimistic.

“Yes!! And much better news too! Sir Pentious!! He’s up here!” The seraphim giddily shared.

“What??!?” All the occupants in the lobby yelled. Husk, who was taking a swing of his cheap booze started choking on the bitter liquid and Angel bumped his back to help spit the alcohol.

“Yes! He appeared out of nowhere in the meeting room I had reserved to talk to Sera about stopping the Exterminations- again. And suddenly there he was! All confused but healthy and hale! Redemption works, you were right!” The girl cooed.

Even Alastor’s jaw had dropped, Charlie would have fallen if she hadn’t already been sitting down. None of them expected this, at all. Not only was redemption really possible, Sir Pentious was to be the first documented successful case of a Sinner turned Winner.

“I’m so glad I remembered to say this now! I’ve been beside myself since he came. We got him a nice place and some of the cherubs are giving the grand tour and I can’t believe I almost forgot to tell you! It’s the whole reason I was looking for the paperwork for the Extermination in the first place, I wanted to build my case because now that we have real proof this can and will work then we can ask again for the higher ups to reconsider the, uh, current methods of dealing with the- overabundance? Of sinner souls?” She finished a bit unsurely, testing the phrasing of her future request to the higher officials of heaven. She didn't seem to notice that there was no response from the demons, still too shocked about this turn of events.

“Anyway, I should go contact Phanuel and Michael. Thank you so much, Charlie, you really helped me. You too, Lucifer and, uh, I didn’t catch the name of the other demon that spoke to me but thank you too! I’ll call back when I have more to share. Wish me luck, you guys! Bye!”

With that the young Seraphim hung up on the quiet hotel room, unknowingly avenging the shock Lucifer sprung on her moments before.

Chapter 35: Emily talked with the HR, it was super effective!

Summary:

With that the young Seraphim hung up on the quiet hotel room, unknowingly avenging the shock Lucifer sprung on her moments before.

Notes:

I imagined Phanuel as Grian from @d0not-disturb

Also I made up that heaven had a communication device, like, over 10k years ago. It wasn't called a "phone" back then, but since humanity invented the phone they would die and immediatelly compare the device to a phone, and after a while the name got changed as there are now more humans than there anre ancient angels

Emily wasted no time writing to Phanuel, biting her lip as she anxiously awaited their response. Thankfully they responded barely minutes later.

<(Hey! G afternoon, Emily! Wow it’s been a while since anyone came to ask for bail in case Mike gets angery haha Luci used to do that all the time, he call him to say whatever mess he got himself in and just blurt whatever place we’d meet Mike then hang on him

<(Drove Mike right insane but he love Luci too much to get angry for long

Emily could feel herself sweat as Phanuel described how Michael liked Lucifer too much to mind the disrespect… would Lucifer’s advice land her in hot water?

So quick question, do you think Michael will be angry with me if I do that?)>

Just say where to meet us and hang on him?)>

She stared at the blinking three dots as the angel took their time writing their response. She was about to lose her nerve and just ask what she should do instead when the answer finally came.

<(DO IT OMF DO IT PLEASE

<(Mike is totally going to love it 

<(Like at first he’ll be pissed but it’s gonna remind him of Luci

<(I mean Lucifer

<(You think he'd be ok with me calling him Luci?

<(Anyway, Mike always appreciates a good little shit, so do it

<(But tell me where we meeting first, that’s kinda important bc I need to be there to say u didn’t mean anything by it and so u can tell me what u telling Mike

The young seraphim let out a huge sigh of relief, so Lucifer’s plan sounds like a good idea even to someone more up to date with Michael’s personality, good to know. She went on to think of where’d be a good place to meet the two ancient angels. Somewhere that won’t be too strange to talk about the Extermination… Oh! Sir Pentious new home! So if Michael is in favor of the Exterminations I can already start my argument for redemption by presenting him to them! You’re a genius, Em!

She wrote down the recently redeemed soul’s address and waited for confirmation that she’ll be met there before starting to head out. She’s ready for this!

—

Phanuel¹ likes this girl, she has spunk. And considering there’s no way in heaven that a second angel was born with the same penchant for tomfoolery as Luci, she probably had his contact and asked him for help.

And Luci advised her to do his tried and true method of stating ‘Something is on fire, meet me there, it’s not my fault, I’m telling the truth’.

Phanuel is glad that silly duck is still the same he was all those years ago. That his punishment and apparent resentment towards his siblings didn’t mean he wouldn’t tell a younger angel how to get on Michael’s good side.

They found the address; an apartment complex with a beautiful banner on the front saying ‘Welcome to your new home, Sir Pentious 💕’ Aww a new Winner just came along! That’s nice! They noticed a young seraphim looking around, seemingly trying to find someone, and decided to ask if they were the Emily they’re meeting.

“Oh! Hello! It’s so nice to meet you, thank you for being able to meet me on such short notice.” The girl bowed, her polite tone inadvertently proving that there was no way she had the idea to contact them by herself.

Phanuel chuckled “Don’t sweat it, dove! But you gotta tell me how you got Luci to accept your call! Gabs been missing him something fierce and he’d love to get to call the baby bro again.”

Emily frowned confusedly “How? I mean, it was pretty easy, his daughter gave me her number when she was here and then she called him because I was sooo lost, so I asked her for help, but she didn’t know either so she asked him for help.”

Phanuel could feel their incredulous expression from hearing this. Baby Luci has a Baby? Baby girl Luci is a thing that exists right now??? “Wow! Slow down! Luci is a dad?? Oh my Father! I knew that he was angry with us, but I didn’t think he wouldn’t even tell us we have a niece.”

The young seraphim’s eyes widened at the exclamation from the other “Angry with you? Well… he didn’t sound angry? It sounded to me more like he thought no one here wanted to hear from him? He said any call coming from a hell area code was blocked from Michael’s phone, so I imagine he tried calling before…”

“What?! No way! Mike would never block his number! He’s been keeping the same number for thousands of years hoping one day Luci’d call him! Luci said he didn’t want to receive any mail or call from us so we’ve been respecting his wishes!” Phanuel is sure there’s no way to fake the kicked puppy look that appears on Michael’s face whenever he thinks about his younger sibling.

“No way, he seemed so bummed no one wanted to hear from him… did you try to call him instead?” Emily wondered.

The angel shook their head “We don’t have his new number; the tech back then was made for angels, so he couldn’t keep his phone from up here, but after hell stabilized we told Sera to tell him he should call when he made hellphones and if he wanted to give us his contact we’d call him too, but he didn’t want to hear from us, so he didn’t even pass his number.”

“Oh no, Sera?” Emily was seeing an extremely worrisome pattern.

“What is it?” Phanuel could hear the unease in the tone of the seraphim.

Emily paced, gesticulating with her hands as she spoke “Well, you see, Sera didn’t tell me of the Exterminations until Lucifer’s daughter, her name’s Charlie, came to ask heaven to reassess accelerating the timetable, since Charlie wanted to work on a project to redeem the souls in hell. And I was all for it, but Sera said no, that the higher ups had already decided so I should drop it. But I didn’t want to drop it, and in this last Extermination Sir Pentious here got redeemed! He used to be a sinner, so I wanted to open the floor to review the ‘ending a bunch of sinner souls every year, maybe twice a year if we feel like it’ because we have proof sinners can learn from their mistakes. But as I was looking for the paperwork on the Exterminations to work on my arguments I couldn’t find anything that proved that Sera had the approval of the higher ups. And I’m starting to really worry that she doesn’t… tell people the truth?”

She finally finished her long winded explanation, turning to the angel of truth, only to see their expression of shock slowly changing to anger.

“You’re telling the truth.” Were their words. Not asking to reaffirm what she’d just said, but a statement of how they felt only sincerity in what she spoke.

“I… am, yes.” The girl timidly assented.

“And what exactly are the Exterminations?” They got that it was apparently to end some souls in hell, maybe a public execution of dangerous souls? There is no reason to destroy a soul, even more if the parameter to choose a condemned soul could accidentally let one fall through a crack, after all one of them even managed to ascend!

“It’s an army of angels picked and lead by Adam, well, now it’s Lute because Adam died in the last Extermination, anyway, they go down to hell to kill hundreds, if not thousands of souls to maintain the amount of sinners to a minimum and to discourage any rebellions against heaven.” Was the honest response they received from the seraphim.

Thousands of human souls, extinguished. An army. And this mess killed Adam?? “And you were going to tell all of this to Michael?”

She nodded “I wanted to know if Exterminations are really approved by the higher ups. But in case they weren’t we, I mean Charlie, Lucifer and I, were worried I wouldn’t be believed.”

“Hence Lucifer told you to call me.” Phanuel concluded.

“Yeah… Am I in trouble?” Emily worried at her fingers, the angry and cold expression on the angel’s face gave her a feeling of foreboding.

“No! Not at all! Just- You don’t have to ask Mike, I can already tell you no one above Sera would approve of those Exterminations.” They stared ahead in disbelief, eyes appearing and disappearing over their forms at their overwhelming emotions “I’m just so angry, Sera never talks about Lucifer to me, I thought it was because she wasn’t comfortable repeating harsh words but apparently she wanted to tell only to other people, because when they repeated the information to me, it would ring true. Unlike if she told me herself! She’s been tricking us!”

“What are we going to do?” She asked in dread.

“You are going to stay right here, maybe call that sinner-winner while I call Michael and tell him all that you just told me. Then we, and all of the other seraphim, are going to head to Courtroom 5 and we’re calling Sera and her gospel better be as accurate as yours, or she might just find out what it feels like to be demoted dishonorably.” Phanuel absently growled, taking their phone out and quickly finding Michael’s contact. “Mike, I’ve some bad news, some worse news, some shocking news, and I-don’t-even-know-how to categorize news, and the couple of not-so-bad news I also have might not balance out all of that, so are you sitting down yet?”

Emily fidgeted for a moment before deciding she wasn’t at ease listening in to this conversation, she felt too much like she was eavesdropping, even though she could hear Michael's side of it with her seraphim hearing. So she turned to the apartment building to find and knock on Sir Pentious’ door like Phanuel advised.

Soon she was faced with the snake ex-sinner, who looked puzzled as he was opening the door but soon brighted as he recognized the young woman “Misss Emily!”

“Hello, Sir Pentious, how have you been settling?” She asked politely but somewhat tiredly, the last 28 hours have been very long.

“I've been settling marvelousssly, my dear. The neighborss are very kind. I’m mosst unused to thiss all, it’ss difficult to believe none of the dessssertsss are drugged.” He commented looking over his shoulder at the mountain of pies, cakes, cookies and cutesy sweets he received from those around him in the time since he was presented as a new resident.

“I’m glad you’ve been having a good time.” Her wan smile was pure as she tried to be happy for her new found friend.

“I truly am. But if it will not trouble you, misss Emily, could I asssk if maybe you have a way to contact Charlie? I’m worried about my friendsss.” While the snake could sense the girl was exhausted he couldn't help but ask for a way to verify how things are below.

“Ah. Yes, actually I got a call from Charlie earlier. I could call her again now, but I think there were no other casualties other than you, Pentious.” She patted his arm, consoling him.

“Oh, that iss very calming to hear. But wass that all that you wanted to talk to me about, misss?” Now that he knew there wasn’t anything to fear, he was contemplating offering her the couch, she seemed to need a nap.

Emily shook her head to clear her mind, now that Phanuel was taking care of updating Michael and she found herself in a cozy atmosphere, she almost tricked herself into believing the job was done “Goodness, you’re right. No, I needed to ask you if you’re free this afternoon, and well, the foreseeable future too, I guess…”

The snake curiously tilted his head “I have nothing in my ssschedule. Why?”

“Because we’re, kind of, being called as witnesses?”

Chapter 36: Getting higher~Than the ceiling 🎶

Summary:

“Because we’re, kind of, being called as witnesses?”

Notes:

The little numbers are links to the videos :D

¹ 1st song is called - Party Like Its 1929
² Also added a link to the examples of dips there is in swing to help anyont imagine how those two are dancing
³ 2nd song - Morning Light

Back in the Hazbin hotel it took a while to process the shock of hearing that redemption was actually a possible endeavor. Lucifer himself had the worst of if, considering how many millennia he spent trying for this result. On one hand, he’s sad that no matter what he did he never managed to convince even one soul to change their ways, that he gave up on his dreams. On the other hand, he’s full of pride knowing his baby ducky got it right. And on her first try too!

It took half an hour before they collectively worked through their disbelief, Charlie deciding now that they knew Sir Pentious was doing ok in heaven that they needed a more festive class to match! But she couldn’t think of anything on the spot so she asked everyone’s opinion (“no, Angel, that’s indecent. Cherri, don’t encourage him.”) for what could be a fun group activity.

“Maybe…” Every head turned to Alastor, not really expecting him to add to this discussion “A dance class? I imagine it’d be celebratory enough.”

Charlie hummed “That’d be really fun, Al, but I’m not seeing how that’d teach anything for redemption…” she bit her lip, it was a fun idea, and she hated turning down a suggestion from her fellow hotelier who so rarely wanted to participate at all…

Lucifer however liked the plan, especially because he wanted to dance with Alastor, so he tried to expand on it “Maybe the dance can be a Trust exercise; partner up, one has to be blindfolded and trust their partner to lead them in the dance?”

The princess gasped “That’s a great idea! That’ll be so much fun!! Does everyone agree to this new lesson plan?” She asked the other residents, not excluding them in the choice.

“Giving a lap dance while blindfolded? I’m all in, baby!” The pornstar wiggled his eyebrows.

“No, Angel.” Vaggie scolded.

“Spoilsport.” He playfully scoffed, already knowing that option wasn’t on the table.

“We’ll choose our own partner on the first dance, then we’re inverting who has the blindfold and who’s leading, third song we’ll mix the couples, then fourth inverts who’s blind, so on, so forth. Anybody can take a moment to rest at any time they need, but let’s try to have at least the first and second dances, leading and being led at least once!” The young nephilim laid the rules.

As soon as Charlie gave the go ahead, Husk surprised Angel by extending his hand to him, silently asking to be his partner. The spider didn’t think the cat sinner would come to him instead of the other way around, especially because then he gruffly added “You lead if you want.” 

Anthony smiled, he doesn’t fully trust the ex-overlord yet after yesterday’s dinner, but he’ll gamble this one dance.

Meanwhile Umbre was picking who he’d approach. He’d usually participate with Alastor, but everyone knows he’s not just a shadow now. Also this looked fun and he wanted to dance with his eyes closed, sue him.

Husker already took itsy-bitsy and there’s no way he’ll interfere with the Morningstar couples. That leaves Niffty and Cherri. Choices, choices. On the one hand Niffty is a devil on the dance floor, but she does prefer to disco with Mr. Broom or Ms. Roach. Not to mention when it’s his turn to dance blind she’ll probably forget and just continue to twirl with her eyes closed.

Cherri it is, then! The shadow thought as he went to the bomb maniac.

Lucifer turned to Alastor “Do you want to go first or should I?” The king asked, the confidence in his voice a bit forced, but genuine fondness in his eyes as he offered his hand.

“Hmmm,” Alastor looked at the short blonde with a heavy gaze, making the seraphim fidget under the intense scrutiny. Finally, his smile somehow got bigger as he reached for the dainty hand “You better know how to lead a swing, I want to be properly spun and dipped.”

Lucifer barked a laugh at the demand “You really don’t do things by halves. Alrighty, you’ll be too dizzy to do the second dance by the time I’m through with you.”

“Promises, promises ~” The broadcaster sang as he snapped his fingers, making four blindfolds appear and gently fall for all the pairings that had formed. Husk and Cherri grab the clothes at the same time as the radio host, taking no time to put them on.

The fallen angel swallowed dry, seeing his tall redhead tying the silk to his eyes, twitching his ears as he adjusted to not seeing. He seemed relaxed but when Lucifer went to take his hand, his whole arm flinched back before the sinner visibly forced himself to unclench his muscles.

“Apologies.” His grin was fixed still on his face, but his ears again flickered, and the king could hear a hint of self-consciousness in his voice.

“Not at all,” He then thought of how to make the sinner more comfortable with the sudden touches, and started describing his next actions “I’m going to hold your left hand.” This time, the hotelier didn’t flinch at all, “Right one, now.” He continued, guiding the other until they were in a ready position to start dancing. He then turned to his daughter waiting for the sign to begin.

Charlie noticed the look and winked, already holding a blindfolded Vaggie, ready to go “We’re just waiting for a song!”

Alastor took that as his cue to put the radio to work, picking one of his favorite tunes¹. The electro-swing rhythm easy to dance to. That is, if you hadn’t goaded your partner to throw you around like the deer had done.

Lucifer wasn’t holding back, and if the radio demon wasn’t as good a dancer as he bragged he would’ve been floundering being coiled and curled every which way². He soon began laughing as he was whirled for twice as long as he should have been before the king whispered “Let’s see if you can do a Chainsaw Massacre now!”

“I’ll have you know, I can swing even without a leg, you won’t be making me miss a step with your cheap tricks!” He said while, indeed, making a perfect execution of the dip.

“Yeah? So you danced without a leg, but have you ever done it without the floor?” With that Lucifer unfurled his wings and started hovering, staying right above the other’s heads.

Alastor did not yelp as he was brought up suddenly, scoffing as he reprimanded “Now this doesn’t seem fair, how can I participate like this?”

“Why, all you have to do is trust me to teach you how to sky dance!” Lucifer chuckled as he wondered if the deer would get the hang of this style; it’s an angelic dance where the partners keep their feet close to each other while most of the twirls and dips have to work against gravity.

Usually both participants are capable of flight but he’s quite sure he can adapt the whole thing, now the question is: can Alastor?

The redhead grunted, pulling himself up by the arms until he was flush against Lucifer, he'd say eye-to-eye, but he couldn't see and the small fallen angel probably didn't reach his face.

He wasn't sure what to do then, but then he felt the seraphim's legs brushing his own and thought the best way to accompany the other was to use his feet as ground. He kicked up and stepped on his shoes “Are you sure you want to insist on making our dance only possible with me standing on your toes, your Majesty? You're already short enough as is.”

Said royal rolled his eyes “Well, fuck you, too. Now let's see if you can still keep up!”

The Overlord interrupted before he could start moving however “I find it in poor taste that you feel the need to add yet another restriction to me, you must feel really inadequate from how much better I am at dancing than you.”

The blonde spluttered “Oi, what's gotten into you? Why you're attacking me like that?”

“Isn't it obvious, ma maison.” He leaned in to whisper in his king’s ear “Because you like it.” He relished in the yelp he heard in response, clearly he was spot on in his assessment that the king also had fun with their banter. If he could see the luminous gold painting the fallen angel’s face, he'd know he underestimated just how much Lucifer liked the treatment. He cleared his throat but began moving again.

From there they started anew, and Alastor fully enjoyed how tricky the whole thing became; twirling was much more difficult when you had to make sure your one foot couldn’t skid off the uneven ground you stood on, and when Lucifer pushed him pirouetting away, he’d be almost horizontal. When he was dipped, he had to constantly calculate how to slip his legs along the tips of the shoes, using them as floor while holding a lot more of his weight with his arms, as he couldn’t add traction with his soles to pull himself back up again. Trusting that the angel would move his feet to meet his as he was pulled up again was adrenaline inducing.

Finally Lucifer guided him into a final Lockup at the last moment of the music, holding him bridal style instead of putting him down as he lowered them to the floor.

His shoes landed on the carpet of the hotel and Alastor took off the cloth, breathing hard. The last time he worked up this much sweat while dancing was when he was human. He laughed as he ran his fingers through his hair, brushing it out of his face “That was passable.”

The seraphim, who’s also doing his best to cool down, turned and looked incredulously to the deer “What?! Passable?? C’mon bambi, look at yourself, you’re barely standing!”

“You promised me I wouldn’t last to the second dance. I can keep going.” He retrucked sassily.

“Fuck, you’re impossible!” The blonde laughed.

“It was so impressive, dad!” The princess complimented, the choreography her father did with Alastor was simply incredible. She kind of regretted that only half the people in the hotel saw it.

“I wish I could ride someone on the ceiling like that.” Angel said wistfully, Husk turned to him with a disturbed expression, now glad that he was blind to whatever the fuck that was, Cherri snickered as she noticed the face the cat was making.

“Thanks, Charlie!” Lucifer bravely ignored the porn star’s comment. The spike in the static coming from the radio proved that so did the deer.

Soon, Alastor conjured three new blindfolds for the pairings to exchange (everyone sweated over the first one, and he knows Umbre can’t wear one and will just close his eyes) and all got in position for the second dance.

The vision of his king surrendering himself and tying the cloth over his eyes had affected him more than he imagined it would, somehow reminding him of how earlier that same day he held down this monarch and had his way with him, that he had promised to do so again tonight.

Suddenly the song³ began to play by itself and he knew it’d be another bothersome love song, but the rhythm was alright and he didn’t want to think of an excuse for why he stopped it. Nobody will pay attention to the lyrics anyway.

He led the seraphim on the proper steps of swing, not resorting to the tricks the other used on him, just guiding Lucifer on a couple dips and twirling him artfully. He knew the secret was How you do it, not How Much. After all, if you're more than friends with your partner, you can touch them a little more intimately.

Nothing indecent, of course. You just naturally feel the difference between someone barely touching your shoulder to someone cupping your neck. Holding your hand versus sliding their fingers to grasp and caress your wrist. Moving both your legs in synchrony contrasting to rubbing them against each other. Someone breathing heavily in your ear.

He wasn’t attracted to anyone before but he knew dancing, and he learned every ploy there is. Suffice to say, Lucifer fell weak kneeled on the sofa as soon as the song was over.

“Are you too dizzy for the next song, ma maison.” His king didn’t answer and just pointed his middle finger in his general direction.

Chapter 37: The just desserts

Summary:

“Are you too dizzy for the next song, ma maison.” His king didn’t answer and just pointed his middle finger in his general direction.

Winners have been hounding Sera every day and night. This has been going on since Lucifer’s daughter came and Adam didn’t manage to keep his mouth shut for 1 entire hour about the Exterminations, and now she had to do damage control all the time.

p

At least nobody important has heard about it yet.

It was a constant barrage of “My relative made some bad decisions”, “My asshole of a brother landed in hell”, “My daughter became a prostitute”. Excuses, excuses, excuses!

“So-and-so is in hell but I don’t want them to be permanently ended, so is the Extermination safe for them? They don’t deserve to be ended!” Whining constantly!

Why is she, a High Seraphim , older than the human race, constantly having to baby those fucked up monkeys that some useless sinner souls won't be destroyed as they keep tabs and only dealt with dangerous souls that might try to attack heaven. Why does she have to lie over and over again, why can't those useless things trust her word and share with each other what she told one of them so she can say this bullshit only once?!

She got Adam to help her in the process of reassuring people that they were very humane (ugh, what a shitty adjective) on their proceedings. But the useless man went and died! And now all the lower winners are jumping all over like frenetic fleas. “Adam died! What about my whoever in hell?!”

Does she look like she cares??

It's been an entire day since she ended up stuck in her office having to hear the same garbage a million times!

At least the Exorcists stopped making themselves annoyances after the first hour. Whoever gave them paperwork to fill had her eternal gratitude, at least she didn't have to withstand their tears about the death of “The best humanity had to offer”.

Now she had time to try to plan what to do with the sinner that popped up like a demented poppy, ready to destroy everything that she held dear.

There has to be a way to make him conveniently disappear, she just needs Emily to leave well enough alone so she can have him accused of something, maybe she won't even have to plant evidence, she doubts he’ll manage to not act like the sinner he is. Then he'll fall back down, and differently from Lucifer, this snake probably won't survive the fall to continue causing her problems after.

Another good news is that pest of a princess didn't and won't hear about this anytime soon, so she won't be going on about how redemption works and whatever nonsense she insists on.

A couple more hours later and a cherub came knocking “Pardon me, Ms. Seraphina, but high seraphims are being assembled in courtroom 5.” Sera frowned, that's the room where they meet for disciplinary actions. She wonders who has been misbehaving among the higher ups.

Well, whatever freed her from the idiots making a line out of her door at all hours of the day.

She didn't bother to tell Emily where she was going, the girl was spending all her time doing something or another to get the snake better settled in heaven. She sighed, massaging between her eyes as she was almost reaching the courtroom. As soon as she gets distracted for long enough I'll get rid of this new serpent poisoning my paradis-

She paled when she entered the Courtroom however. This wasn't just a disciplinary hearing, the place was packed full with every single High Seraphim there is. This only happens in cases of high treason!

But she knew it was truly all over when she looked higher up and saw Emily with that filthy snake right between Michael and Phanuel.

—

The “lesson” lasted some more hours after that. The blindfolds were abandoned at some point, much like the idea of pairings, soon everyone was dancing however they wanted in a group. Halfway through the party, Lucifer sneaked off to rest and make some celebratory pancakes, and Alastor, tired of socializing, followed him.

Lucifer took a moment to contemplate now that the party was flowing and the youngsters gave up any interest in continuing the pretense of “lesson” that they had before. The atmosphere between him and Alastor now that they were alone was markedly different from their first meeting, no more sharp edges and tension, now it was a softer, more intimate air as they huddled together in the kitchen, brewing a comfortable warmth, the kind that spoke of two beings settling into each other’s presence.

The fallen seraphim brushed the broadcaster’s fingers as they grabbed ingredients and prepared the food, the sinner caressing the royal’s hand in return every so often, but contently focusing on cutting fruits for topping and to make juice by hand. Alastor’s usual sharp grin was soft and genuine as he trusted the other with his shared space. 

Their silence was so different from when they had met months ago, no longer heavy with unspoken challenges but instead a peaceful lull, like the pause between familiar breaths. The deer was the first to break it, his voice gentle and almost hesitant "I’ve been thinking on that first meeting of ours," He began, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the back of his king’s hand as he picked an orange to slice "I went with all my bravado, expecting to see Lilith’s husband, to see the father that abandoned his child without a second thought. I wanted to intimidate you, or at least to match your presence. I never imagined I would truly understand you."

The blond smiled softly, his gaze focused entirely on Alastor. "We both had our defenses up, didn't we? I had many doubts, my personal reservations too. There’s a lot of talk about you in hell, and that unsettled me. But now... I see much more than just the Radio Demon."

Alastor looked up, his eyes meeting Lucifer's, allowing his vulnerable feelings to show in a rare display of openness "And I see more than just the ruler of Hell," he replied quietly. "There’s a depth to you, which has been drawing me in since then. I want to know every part of you, somehow I even want you to know my hidden parts. What are you doing to me, ma maison?"

Lucifer leaned forward slightly, resting his chin on his hand as he studied Alastor. "It’s your own fault though, isn’t it? You’re the one who had those plans to help Charlie. I didn’t expect any of this, mon étoile du soir. I came in thinking I was meeting my daughter and that not soon after we wouldn’t be seeing each other again in this decade still, mostly thought she’d tell me to fuck off after I fucked up something..."

Alastor’s smile grew tenser as his heart ached, he knew the symbolism behind the nickname Lucifer picked for him, nevermind the fact the monarch chose to use his own mother language to refer to him as the star that represents consistency and reliability. He can't continue feeding this misconception, not when Lucifer seems to legitimately view him as someone who guided him to his personal growth, who came truly to aid him with new beginnings.

"Ah. Now might be the proper time to admit I didn’t plan to help Charlie. I’m not sure how she concluded I was, or rather am, this kind man who only has her best interest in mind, but… I wasn't hoping to bridge your relationship with your daughter.” The deer was no coward, he wouldn’t avert his gaze. But he couldn't control the drop of his ears as he saw the blond frown at his words “I was- if you were to shut down the hotel, or even just join in it yourself, I could’ve been kicked to the curb before I knew it. I thought she was the only one that had a chance of helping me, and my short time here had me believe the price to pay for her help wouldn’t be too steep. There wasn’t any of that selfless planning you two seem to be thinking happened."

The sinner stood still, unsure of what he was doing. But the fact of the matter is that not too long ago he discovered Lilith has done nothing but use this angel, and he couldn’t stomach the thought of doing as she did. Just taking for granted all that his king- the king- has been doing for him, allowing the royal to continue pursuing him while abusing the misunderstanding that led them into this relationship.

He wants to grab onto his small angel and selfishly lie to be able to have him forever, say he was joking and that, of course he’s as compassionate as he and his daughter dreamed him up to be. However, he’s also shamefully in love, and somehow keeping up the pink smoke and rosy glasses to trick Lucifer into seeing only this imaginary good personality feels like chugging poison. Alastor can’t do that. He can’t close his eyes and cover Lucifer’s and have them both enter this affair blind and misled. He won’t do that to the being who offered a Deal of eternal loyalty to him while saying he didn’t think it was necessary to demand the same in return.

The broadcaster flinched when Lucifer reached out, his hand hovering for a moment before gently resting on Alastor’s cheek. The touch was light, hesitant, as if he was still uncertain of how to navigate this. But Alastor leaned into his palm, unable to resist getting closer even as he confessed to them both that he wasn’t the man worthy of their relationship.

"I want to know everything about you, mon étoile du soir." Lucifer said softly, his voice carrying the weight of sincerity, still calling him this new damned nickname that was doing horrible things to Alastor's heart "Maybe you’re not nice or gentle. But you’re not just a mask of power and mystery and evilness or whatever. Beneath it all you’re a person. You were scared, and you saw an opportunity. But you already got what you wanted, you could just leave. Instead you’re still here, kind and present and faithful. Telling me ‘we’ll do this together’ and trusting me to dance with your eyes closed even when I took you to the ceiling. Hell, you’re making pancakes with me and telling me the truth and nobody is making you do any of it."

The monarch stepped even closer to the redhead, speaking just above a whisper “Didn’t we settle last night that as the devil, y’know, the biggest fuck up in humanity’s history, I’m not in a place to nitpick the sinners for not being perfect?”

Alastor melted under his hands, the apprehensive grin fading into a genuine smile. "Funny that, I seem to remember telling you that you gave humanity its most precious gift, and questioning your sanity for proposing a Deal with such low guidelines. But I guess you’re not tall enough to set higher standards for yourself.” His smile grew at the low growl his jab earned “I guess I’ll just have to meet my own expectations for the kind of partner you deserve then, if you insist on seeing me in such a good light.”

Lucifer blushed and let out his wings to cocoon them both in an angelic hug even as he scoffed “Asshole. When are you going to drop all the short jokes?”

The distant sounds of the party in the background was the only sound as the deer didn’t respond, only embracing the smaller body closer as their discussion ended. The two demons, once guarded, now sat together in a moment of contentment, intertwined and with their hearts slowly opening to one another.

Lucifer ended the hug, and smile grew, full of wonder in a child-like genuine expression that was rarely seen by others now-a-days as he held the hands of his partner "We’ll take our time, mon étoile du soir. To know each other, to stop hiding. Show who we truly are."

Alastor nodded, his thumb gently brushing over the back of Lucifer’s hand. "I’d like that. I’d like that very much, ma maison."

And so they finished making the snacks, joining back with the others to share in the good cheer.

Notes:

SerenityRena is a god's sent commenter and also gave the most marvelous nickname for Al. It is *chef's kiss" absolutely perfect
Below are bits of their full explaination on the beauty of the nickname:
"[...] given luci's name(morningstar) and al's own nickname for charlie (northstar) i thought this might fit.(and a really long night with no sleep and google search lol). for luci to have his to most loved stars within reach.(alastor and charlie)
lucifer's nickname for alastor _ my eveningstar = mon étoile du soir(french)
[...] the eveningstar is the symbol of Hope and New Beginnings, it is the symbol of guidance, it also symbolizes consistency and reliability. and brings a sense of peace, tranquility, and reassurance.
the eveningstar encourages one to seek closure in their own life’s chapters and endeavors, allowing for personal growth and new beginnings.
[...] It is often seen as a guiding light in the darkness, serving as a beacon for lovers lost in the vast ocean of emotions.As the Evening Star appears consistently at twilight, it symbolizes stability and faithfulness in love, reminding us that no matter how much the world changes, love remains constant.The Evening Star’s brilliance in the dusky sky is a testament to the power of love to illuminate even the darkest times, giving hope and comfort. It inspires us to hold onto love, no matter the circumstances, and to let this love guide us through life.
and Venus is the brightest of all planets. It can be seen sometimes in the eastern sky before sunrise and in the western sky just after sunset. Hence, it is called the MORNING or EVENINGSTAR. (this had me thinking radioapple = two havles of a hole)"

Chapter 38: Gonna take you home with me tonight~Make you lose your mind 🎶

Summary:

And so they finished making the snacks, joining back with the others to share in the good cheer.

Notes:

I updated the DLCs too :D

The older men soon enough came back to the party bearing the pastries; Alastor himself happily enjoyed his pancakes topped only by sliced strawberries.

After that, the two old men participated in the festivities while sitting down, talking quietly to each other. Every so often, Charlie would look in their direction and squeal in happiness, her dad and Alastor looked so soft and content together, she was so glad they found each other.

Some time later, when dinner time came around, the two men left again. It didn’t take long before the music was interrupted and Alastor’s voice came from the radio “Head to the kitchens you lot, food is served. You can go back to your wild party after getting some fuel.”

Angel snorted at the message “How does it feel to have two dads, Char?”

The princess blinked, it was a weird thought; that at some point in the future, The Radio Demon is going to be her stepdad- wait. Holy shit, He’ll be Vaggie’s stepfather-in-law! She didn’t notice she was staring wide eyed at her girlfriend until she asked “Cariño?”

“Nothing!” She rushed to say. Let’s leave that realization for later. Maybe when we’re fiances.

When they reached the kitchen they salivated from the divine smell that assaulted their noses from the door. “You know what, I might just come live in the hotel and give this redemption thing a shot if you lot eat like this everyday. Like, holy fuck.” Cherri hurried in to sit and grab a plate.

Angel Dust was laughing at his friend when he saw at Niffty and something clicked in his brain "Wait. Smiles, you said you only had two other Contracts other than Husk, yeah?" Alastor hummed questioningly as he was putting the final touches on today's dinner, not really paying attention to the spider "What about Niffty?"

"What about her?" The deer parroted.

"You don't own a Contract or something with her?" Anthony complemented his question.

"Oh!" He made sure to grin his most disturbing smile as he cracked his neck 180° to stare at the porn star "Not at all, never actually. We're just the same type of crazy." Alastor cackled, Niffty giggled along as he turned wearing a black apron and carrying a tray with a huge stuffed turkey surrounded by vegetables. On the table, there already were pots with mashed potatoes, rice, gravy and salad. “Tonight I made turkey, it was going to be gator meat, but the devil is a coward.”

Lucifer growled “I’m not a coward, I’ve eaten alligator meat before and it didn’t taste good.”

Alastor calmly continued as if he heard nothing, “I also discovered the devil is a very bad liar.”

“How would you know that- I’m not lying!” the blond gesticulated, voice loud in exasperation.

“What does gator meat taste like?” the deer hummed cheerfully as he finished laying the table.

“I already told you, chicken!” Lucifer argued while handing his plate to the Overlord, who dutifully put a bit of everything in before handing it back.

Alastor then did the same for Charlie’s plate before filling his own. “And that’s how I know, ma maison.”

“Everybody says alligators taste like chicken!” The seraphim looked ready to pull out his hair as the deer sat, everyone else was too far from him to serve. He also didn’t want to.

“Yes. Everybody who never ate gator but heard from someone it tastes like chicken, says that.” The sinner closed his eyes and took a bite from his food, trying to control his reaction as he savored the flavors; it’s been years since he tasted his own cuisine.

Lucifer groaned, pointing to the fact that this discussion had been going on in circles for some time now, he then slid his hand over his face “Fine, tomorrow you can make alligator.”

“I will. You’ll like it, it tastes like chicken!” The deer gleefully responded with a shit eating grin.

“You just said-! I give up.” the devil quieted while swallowing a forkful of turkey.

—

Lucifer and Alastor retired after the meal, but while passing his room, the overlord grabbed his king and started pulling him in “I promised you a long night, ma maison. And a good partner always deliver.” He turned to Umbre, who’d entered his shadow as usual “Go find somewhere else to sleep tonight.”

The shade didn’t need to be told twice, and winked before slithering away.

The devil gulped, and let himself be brought inside and to the bed. “Wings out.” The radio demon caged him in as he laid the fallen angel on his covers, praising him when he obeyed “Good boy, now as I said earlier, I’ll be taking my pleasure and my sweet time with you. Your job is to be noisy and to tell me if I hurt you in a way that isn’t pleasurable.”

“Are you calling me a masochist?” The angel’s eyebrow ticced at the insinuation.

In response Alastor started slowly bringing his face closer to topper-most right wing and opened his mouth, as if he was going to take a bite of the member. The blond stared at him intensely but made no move to wiggle away. So the deer just gradually closed in and added pressure, his king breathing deeper and blushing but refusing to admit he liked the feeling.

The Overlord could see the sensation was enjoyable to Lucifer, but the deer was impressed; he applied enough pressure to bend metal and his sharp teeth had barely managed to break skin. When the archangel shivered, his breath hitching, Alastor quickly let go humming “Guess I was mistaken about that, we won’t be doing this anym-”

“Wait! No, you know I was liking it, don’t stop!” He practically begged.

“Don’t hold back and tell me if it’s not pleasurable.” The deer reinstated his terms.

Lucifer bit his lip, those were pretty much the opposite of what Lilith used to demand in bed, she liked him quiet, and she didn’t care at all for his comfort during any type of intercourse. He’s really unused to this. Even more because they’re still fully dressed.

But he nodded because he was already very interested in how this was going.

The broadcaster narrowed his eyes at the non-verbal response, but did start moving his hands all over the feathers, roughly brushing instead of the barely-there touch he had done earlier.

Lucifer closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on being noisy, but it wasn’t easy. While pain and pleasure were very well intertwined in his brain, the more pain he felt, the quieter he became, until he was just breathing loudly as Alastor pulled his lower wings to get better access so he could scratch from the base out before going back in, holding around where the feathers met skin and squeezing with his claws in a pulsing rhythm.

The overlord tilted his head, this wasn’t bad, but the angel had better reactions earlier, with tiny moans that he had rather liked, and wanted to hear more and louder of. Hence his demand for louder. And as he noticed that some pain had excited the other, he added more of that, too. But instead now he sounded unfocused, not like he wasn’t into it, but not really like before… time to change tactics.

He removed his hands from the bases of the wings and went back slowly over the plumes, brushing lightly and non-stop, then he lowered his head back where he bit not long ago, laid his lips over the area and hummed, long and deep.

And Lucifer buckled and moaned before biting his lip to silence himself, then remembering he had been asked to make more noise and letting the sounds go.

Bingo. While sharp spikes of pain accentuated the pleasure, too much or too continuous wasn’t ideal. And the seraphim seemed unable to really tell when he was no longer enjoying himself and just taking pain for pain’s sake. He’ll have to keep an eye on that. “Won’t you look at me, my love?” The blond blinked and focused fiercely on him, giving a loud moan as Alastor used this time to give the wing another much quicker but just as strong bite, before speaking into the feathers “There you are, I was feeling lonely, ma maison.”

His king whined and pulled his face in again to kiss him much like he’d done earlier, and the sinner was having a lot of fun discovering where else his little dove liked being pinched.

At some point, Lucifer learned that a good way to derail Alastor is to scratch the base of his ears (which were as soft as he had imagined, and made the sinner basically purr and melt under his hands) and that his lower back wasn't somewhere he wanted touched "Not yet." Alastor said as he held the devil's wrist firmly when he had tried to follow the way down his spine with his fingers. And how proud Lucifer was at having made the radio host sound breathless, to have him lose his careful control of even his voice, now devoid of the static he was so used to hearing.

They kept discovering where and what was too much or not enough until a bit before 1AM, when a thoroughly ruffled, and now shirtless, Lucifer begged to be allowed to sleep, and as he couldn’t see much reason to deny his request, the broadcaster, equally as undressed, acquiesced. The angel couldn’t much move either so Alastor very graciously offered to share his bed for the night. It’s not too different from what they had been doing for the last hours, after all.

The seraphim scoffed but accepted when even attempting to sit up had his legs uncontrollably trembling from their long, overstimulating and very pleasurable fondling, and so the radio demon had lovely dreams, hugging his newest pillow until 4 o’clock in the morning, when the deer sinner woke up and started to carefully stretch, trying to avoid disturbing his companion. He hasn’t slept this well or long in decades, but that’s not surprising as he just got his soul back and his comfortable angel feather nest just got updated.

Delicately leaving his covers, he stood and dressed for the day; he could still get ready in time to do his morning broadcast if he hurried.

Later, he'll go to the Overlords meeting to share his permanent occupation of this area and any other relevant news. Thankfully he won’t need to call it, as the 2nd day after an Extermination is already always used to report property damage and to word any casualties as calculated losses to make sure you don't look like you received any blow to your forces.

And he’ll have the immeasurable delight of telling all of them that he has the liberty and the honor to explore the borders of each of their territories, and with his shadow powers, allowing him in is allowing him all over it. By this time next month, he’ll be swimming in blackmail.

He finishes tying his bow tie and checks himself over the mirror, looking for anything amiss. But the only thing he spotted is the reflection of his king on his bed.

He’s a bit unsure on how to proceed; The devil won’t be too happy to wake up alone, however he did say he needed 8 hours of sleep like any human, and it was currently- Alastor scans his pocket watch- 4:23. Which is barely over 3 hours since he went to sleep.

As he contemplated whether to stay or to go, he recalled once long ago, in one of the many times he was dragged into a conversation about sexual preferences and dates and types, how one of the men admitted that when he had to beat a hasty retreat the next day, he’d leave a message with sweet nothings and apologies for essentially abandoning his night’s partner. Maybe that’s the most proper way to deal with this? But what to write?

Signing, he decided to simply be truthful for the sake of brevity, quickly penning and leaving the note on the bedside table. Hopefully the monarch will see it as soon as he wakes. And if Lucifer is bothered too much by his sneaky exit, he can always complain later.

—

It was past 10 AM when Lucifer finally woke up from the best sleep he’s had since he fell from heaven; the earthy smell of the bayou from Alastor’s pocket dimension and, well, Alastor’s own scent in general relaxed him more than he could remember feeling in way too many centuries.

He lounged on the bed for a moment before blinking his eyes open as he noticed that he was alone in the room, at once seeing the post-it that the sinner left for him.

     Good morning, ma maison
I had to leave for my morning broadcast and
I didn’t want to wake you. 
                      Stay as long as you want
             We shall share more nights together

He giggled at the paper, giddy that his lover, his étoile du soir, had thought to leave him a little message for when he woke up and stated upfront that he liked sleeping with him, although waking up with him would have been better.

He should’ve been back from a morning broadcast, though. The king wondered before remembering it’s the 2nd day after the Extermination and grinning devilishly.

Notes:

In case you didn't see the beginning A/N, this chapter comes with a little Extra in the DLCs ;) it's Husk and Angel's private talk and the hopeful start of Husk's redemption arc lol

Chapter 39: Meetings

Summary:

He should’ve been back from a morning broadcast, though. The king wondered before remembering it’s the 2nd day after the Extermination and grinning devilishly.

Notes:

¹ Link with the art from @MI00M10 > that is how I visualize Lucifer's brothers
² Alternative link with only the art bc brazilians can't access X

Also, there's an Extra to this chapter too :D check the DLCs :)

The meeting room buzzes with low chatter as the Overlords slowly situate around the large conference table, eyes flicking towards the clock as they await the start of the Extermination report. The door swings open, and in walks Alastor, radiating confidence. Dressed sharply in his tailored suit, he takes a seat besides Rosie, a clearly smug smile playing on his lips.

As everyone was already present, he decided to not wait for the official beginning of the gathering, wanting to jump straight to the niceties he cleared his throat to call for the other’s attention "So, I just wanted to share some exciting news before we get started today. I know we're only supposed to talk about casualties and territory adjustments that may come from that, but as this is going to be pertinent before our next scheduled encounter, and it's relevant to districts in general, I feel like I should tell this tidbit a little early."

The room fell silent, all eyes on the deer sinner. Some of his colleagues exchange curious glances, wondering what he’s about to announce. "As you know, I've been working closely with the princess on her pet project. Well, it turns out that our king noticed the hard work I've been putting in." He leans back in his chair, letting the words hang in the air for a moment. "So he's given me the role of inspecting the borders of the pride ring, out and in side of every territory."

Gasps ripple through the room, followed by a wave of murmurs. The news hits hard- the radio demon managed to land his claws on the one chore no soul has been able to pry from the devil, mostly because anyone could and certainly would abuse the excuse to spy on all the others. One tried to hide his spite and fear as he asked "Wow, Alastor. That's... that's incredible. Could I see the permit? How did you manage that?"

Casually, the broadcaster replied  "Oh, don’t worry , it’s just this next inspection. As you can imagine, working beside royalty is bound to give one some perks if you work hard and apply yourself. So Lucifer has come to really trust me. I guess I just get his vision."

The room is quiet now, several demons exchanging looks of barely concealed alarm and envy, kicking themselves for laughing at the princess, not seeing the opportunity she was. Alastor watches in satisfaction, and Rosie, knowing that she and her secrets are safe as an ally and friend of the satisfied sinner, half-jokingly comments "Guess we all know who the favorite is, huh?"

Alastor laughed lightly, basking in their anger, admiration and on the chaos "I wouldn't say favorite yet , but..." He shrugs nonchalantly "When you know what he likes, it’s easy to deliver." 

Not favorite yet, ha! He wants so badly to break the rule that states the meeting after an Extermination has to focus on territorial matters but it's for the best, he shouldn't point out that he stripped the queen of her royal status- if her enemies attack her too soon, Charlie will think she needs to offer the hag a safe place. Not to mention he's quite sure he heard that the Von Eldritch had relations with the family before, better to be sure of how "friendly" they were with Lilith before buying fights that'll certainly affect the hotel.

He should have more class than to crow about his "royal conquest" either way, Lucifer isn't a pawn he's using nor a fling, after all.

As he finished speaking, the door swung open. The room collectively holds its breath as Lucifer strides in. Impeccably dressed, and exuding authority, commanding attention with his presence. The deer focused on the devil, he’s never seen the small angel exhibiting so much Pride before.

The angel smiled warmly as he locked eyes with the broadcaster "Sorry to interrupt, everyone. I just needed a quick word with The Radio Demon."

Alastor straightens in his seat, he hadn't expected Lucifer to make an appearance, much less in front of the entire council. The others glance at each other, sensing the subtle shift in energy between the two powerful entities from the monarch’s use of his title.

The blond moved closer to Alastor, voice dropping to a more intimate tone "I just wanted to thank you again, Alastor. You've been doing an outstanding job with Charlie. You’re the perfect choice for this role beside my family." The room is dead silent and tense as the king places a hand on the sinner’s arm, leaning in slightly. The others can't wrap their heads around the image of the notorious 'don’t touch me, I bite' demon allowing, much less leaning into the touch of the royal as he’s currently doing.

Said sinner is trying to maintain his composure as his heart races from this new waltz they’re dancing, the message they’re giving to the powerhouses of hell  "Glad I am of service, Lucifer." He made sure to call the archangel by name, both because his king had asked him to and because he couldn't resist this opportunity to rub all their faces on how he's on a first name basis with the biggest powerhouse of hell.

The monarch agreed with a playful voice "More than of service. I practically owe you a Favor."

The room seems to collectively inhale, shocked at the blatant preferential treatment. Alastor didn’t bother to suppress his grin, "Why, my beloved king, we already made the one Deal, didn’t we?" Some of the demons choked at the endearment, and at the inference that the radio demon had made a Deal with the ringleader of eternal damnation. Like he wasn’t already one of the strongest sinner souls.

Straightening up, Lucifer’s gaze lingered on Alastor a little longer "Deals or Favors, the offer is always open to you. As for the rest of you..." Turning to address the room, his tone shifted to cold and professional "Keep up the work, but for your information I’ll be more active as king now. Alastor will handle the reports of these meetings for me, so I expect you all to behave to him."

With that, Lucifer gives Alastor a final, almost imperceptible wink before heading for the door. The moment it clicks shut, the room erupts in hushed whispers. Alastor leans back in his chair, a victorious smile on his face, as his colleagues try to process what just happened.

He could barely believe he was given the reins so easily, now that he’d be the middle ground between the Royal and Overlords, he has the power to shift perceptions about those present. Usually that wouldn’t mean too much, but since Lucifer said he’ll be more active, it just established that the radio demon’s word could now possibly demote someone. Not to mention the remark of how he’s always allowed- encouraged - to make Deals with the devil. That alone would be enough social clout to practically elevate him to Eldritch Noble status! He wasn't aware Lucifer could play this game. But this is perfect, clearly marking Alastor as (at least) a soon to be lover, or a very favored adviser, without stating that Lilith lost her rank yet.

Although, he couldn't deny he appreciated the strong indication to the Overlords that she'll be losing it soon. He had no wish for that poor excuse of a woman to have an easy life, after all she did.

The room buzzes with a mix of jealousy, apprehension and curiosity as Alastor basks in the glow of his new position—and the archangel’s obvious affection. He sighed in bliss before saying "Now that that was dealt with, back to the matters of this meeting; I'd like to claim the area of and around the princess's Hazbin Hotel as my official territory." How he loved to be the cause of absolute mayhem.

—

Later, when Alastor got back to the hotel, he rushed to Lucifer, grabbed him in a big hug and spun him around as he laughed “That was the best meeting I’ve ever attended!” He lowered the monarch to the couch and sat beside him, lowering his head to purr in his ear “You should’ve told me you knew how to flirt!”

The devil shivered and blushed, glad his actions were well received, but not expecting such a strong reaction from the usually private deer.

“Hey! If I can’t fuck on the couch, then no one can!” Angel hollered from the bar from where he and Husk witnessed the strange sight of a giddy radio demon, the cat sinner even checked out the window to see if hell had frozen over after seeing his boss initiating a happy prancing hug.

The broadcaster rolled his eyes, but did add space between him and his king, keeping his arm over the smaller’s shoulder, his thumb gently caressing in small circles from his good cheer.

The blond chuckled and was about to retort when he was interrupted as a portal from heaven opened in the lobby, from which Michael¹, Gabriel, Raphael², Emily and Sir Pentious moved past.

The devil immediately stood in fear, thinking of the worst case; Were they kicking Sir Pentious from heaven? Was Emily in trouble? Are they all going to be divinely punished? At least they let the two get off from a portal instead of throwing them from the gates like was done to him.

Alastor cursed and moved closer to Lucifer in a discreet battle ready pose, they had absolutely no chance against the 3 strongest archangels in heaven, even with all his powers he couldn't take even one of them and his king was visibly scared of them. They were in trouble.

The tense atmosphere was broken by none other than Emily, who gave a peppy greeting “Hey, everyone! Sir Pentious wanted to visit, and we had a lot of news to share from that last call! Sorry if I sound a bit jittery, I haven’t slept in over 48 hours and I was allowed coffee!”

“We tried to tell her to sssleep, but sshe insssisssted to come.” The snake angel commented tiredly, not having slept since he was called as witness himself.

“There’s no way I’m going to power through all the difficult parts and then not be present to witness the beautiful and touching family reunion!” Was her fiery explanation as Raphael shook his head, meaning he advised her to rest more than once.

Gabriel had a worn-out expression, which he was trying to hide, and Lucifer wondered what was the bad news; he always looked like that when he braced for the response he’d get to his words. 

Michael, on the other hand, gave his little laugh that anyone who isn’t his sibling always assume is him scoffing at their shenanigans, and the fallen seraphim finally relaxed, if his brother was laughing then they’d probably come out of this alive and even mostly unharmed. “Yes we’ve much to discuss. But first, could we meet our niece? She had an important role in all of this and, well, admittedly we just want to see her, if we’re allowed.”

The king took a moment to really look at his siblings, and although he hadn’t seen them in so many millenia, didn’t talk to them in all that time either, he could tell they meant no harm. It had always saddened him that he asked Sera to let everyone know they were welcome to visit his baby any time, yet none of them ever took him up on his offer.

He nodded and Alastor took another moment to judge all the holy beings before sending Niffty to go retrieve the girls in their room.

Raphael nodded and bowed at the show of trust. “We apologize for not calling ahead but Emily's phone is being held as evidence and she didn't remember Charlie's number by heart.”

The fallen seraphim blinked confusedly “Couldn't you just call me then..?”

“That's one of things we need to discuss, actually.” Gabriel admitted, scratching his neck.

The archangel was interrupted by Emily “Turns out Sera wasn't passing along any message you had for each other. She was lying! Even though she taught me to always tell the truth!”

Raphael chuckled at the young seraphim's indignant tone, that had been the worst point of contemplation for the girl, she couldn't fathom someone would insist to others that they needed to be honest, but simply didn't apply the rule on herself.

“WHAT?!” Screamed Vaggie from atop the stairs where she, Charlie and Niffty were rejoining the group. While the princess is surprised at the hypocrisy, she hadn't grown up constantly hearing about the virtues and following them faithfully, she wasn't indoctrinated in the idea that high seraphims were pure and the one exception was kicked out of heaven so long ago it was basically considered a fluke. Mostly surreal was the idea Sera had lied to The Michael! She can withstand Sera lying to those ‘beneath’ her, but to Sir Michael??

The tan girl answered the ex-Exorcist “Yeah, she told all the higher ups that Lucifer said he never wanted to hear from them again, and then told him they said they didn't want to see him. And worse! She blocked hell's area code from every high seraphim's phone! That was so evil I cried.” She finished teary eyed.

Sir Pentious nodded seriously “It'sss true, sshe cried in the courtroom.”

“Wow, I had no idea she did something so terrible.” Charlie frowned, not understanding why Sera did all this.

Gabriel nodded and moved towards the princess, reaching to offer a handshake “Yes, well, technically that's the least of her offenses. And that's why we're here. But that can wait, you must be our niece then. Charlie, right?”

The blonde girl perked up and reciprocated with a firm handshake “Oh, yes. Nice to meet you…”

“Gabriel, I'm the youngest after your father, then it's Raphael and the serious-looking one is our oldest Michael.” He pointed at each seraphim as he named them “He's the one in charge when dad's not home so he acts extra mature all the time but don't let that trick you, he's the biggest prankster of us brothers.” The still present sad expression on his face softened as Charlie giggled at his words.

Michael sighed but smiled fondly “At this moment we want to know more about you, as Emily said, Sera did her utmost to keep us out of the loop of everything regarding Lucifer so we'd like to hear from you and anything you feel comfortable sharing about yourself.”

Notes:

In case you didn't see at the beginning, there's an Extra DLC Chapter to this! Be sure to check it too :D

Chapter 40: On the same page, seeing eye to eye

Summary:

Michael sighed but smiled fondly “At this moment we want to know more about you, as Emily said, Sera did her utmost to keep us out of the loop of everything regarding Lucifer so we'd like to hear from you and anything you feel comfortable sharing about yourself.”

Notes:

Again, the 3 brothers of Lucifer I visualized the way draw by @MI00M10

— Again how I visualize the archangels | Alternative link in case you can't access X —

“Oh.” The princess blinked “Well, I don't really know what to say… what do you want to know?” These men have been strangers to her all her life, very rarely would her father talk about them; he loved them, but their separation hurt too much for him to easily speak about his siblings.

Theorically, he could have gone to visit them in heaven, but the only thing he ever told her about them was that they didn't like him after the mess he made of Eden, so once she understood how delicate a topic this was, she was careful to avoid it. To discover Lucifer had been tricked this whole time and that she could have had a large family, full of uncles that cared for her and her family, was quite shocking.

Raphael hummed “To be fully honest, we didn’t think we’d get this far. Emily said it didn't sound like Lucifer was against the idea of us, but it’s been very long and we weren’t even aware you existed until yesterday.”

Lucifer jerked in surprise, they already said Sera hadn’t given them any of the messages he told her, but it hadn’t yet dawned on him that even the news of his daughter had been hidden.

Charlie frowned, struggling on where to start, and the silence stretched until a single clap broke it. They all turned to Alastor, as the man slowly moved to the sofa area of the lobby “I say we begin by settling down. Come along, guests! Husker, bring refreshments! Alcohol anyone? Or just water or coffee? I don’t recommend the tea, Niffty likes to add cockroaches in it.”

The tension abated and they all moved to the sitting area, althought the seraphims frowned confusedly at the radio host for some reason as they passed him to their seats, murmuring what they’d prefer as they chose which place and how close to who they were willing to be.

The radio demon once again spoke, voice airy but gaze sharp, still taking his time to properly judge the characters of the divine beings in his hotel “Well, I imagine it’s difficult for Charlie to speak about herself, especially to strangers. So how about you start by sharing a bit more of your side of the equation, hmm? We’re all rather curious about the steps that led to this visit, and if we’re all on the same page, it might be easier to talk.”

Michael seemed startled but nodded, agreeing the young nephilim wouldn’t feel secure sharing too many details when she knew so little of them and why they’re here “This started being set in motion yesterday, when Emily contacted Phanuel to ask their help asking me what to do about the paperless process that were Exterminations. Phanuel was close to us brothers, but after Lucifer fell they were basically our rock.”

Gabriel half interrupted, half continued the story for him “So Phan knew there was some bullshit afoot when Emily described the whole thing, so they called Mike, to info dump and y’know, to ask if he knew about any of this, then, when Mike started freaking out, they just said-”

Michael sighed as Raphael interrupted their brother “They did that thing you always used to do, Lucifer. They just said ‘Courtroom 5’, then hung up on him. When Mike got there Phan was just standing outside with our young seraphim and her recently turned winner friend, and they said ‘Call for a full hearing because we’re getting Sera to say exactly what this is about.’”

“So we had the full court in.” Gabriel spoke again “When sera got there and saw the full room she paled but when she saw Emily and Sir Pentious she got so white she was transparent. Of course, she tried to play it off a bit and move to her seat but Mike was all ‘You know you are to sit in the accused section, Seraphina.’”

Lucifer gave a full body shiver as that phrase brought some terrifying memories to the forefront of his mind and a brief silence came after the youngest of the siblings shuddered, the middle brothers hadn’t considered how the devil didn’t have the luxury of having 10 thousand years of interactions with them to diminish the echo of when he was condemned and cast out, and were simply gossiping. Michael knew things wouldn’t be so easy.

Sitting here, being welcomed, they could almost trick themselves into forgetting that they were deceived into believing their brother hated them. But it wasn't just them who thought they would be scorned. The fallen angel had been painfully demoted, his halo forcefully pulled from his head, and the final punishment their Father had sentenced was to have his wings ripped out then to be actually sent falling all the way down to the desolate land where he would forever more witness what his mistake brought them all. All this time under the impression that if he were to dare visit heaven, he'd meet only angry expressions and loathing.

While they had time to heal among each other, Lucifer has been left to fester. He hoped there was still hope for their family, even if Father was almost never home anymore. Or maybe that’d make things easier?

Michael shook his head and picked up the story “To make a long tale short, she’d made up all authorizations she has spit at you for years. She had no approval on the Exterminations, every redemption effort you gave her was sumally shredded. Adam also had no right to form an army of winners and condemn them all. And they are condemned as their actions were of senseless violence and enjoyment of it; we’re still analyzing who’ll receive the willful-ignorance punishment for following orders they knew were wrong, and who’ll get… cast off, for actively finding pleasure in the pain and suffering of others.” Silently implied was that those Exorcists would all be sent to hell, and it was doubtless they’d be well received by the inhabitants that recognized them.

The seraphim then inclined forward, elbows resting on his knees, and Lucifer's shoulders tensed as he recognized the pose for what it was; the worst news was about to come “We found out she and Adam had made separate Contracts with someone. Someone from hell.”

The residents of the hotel straightened and exchanged looks in silence, the divine beings clearly waiting for their disbelieving reactions, finally it was Umbre who perked up in understanding, and used a shadow tendril to turn on the nearby radio “Could it be that we all forgot to tell Emily during our call that we knew that Lilith had a Contract with a higher up?”

There was a collective ‘Oh!’ from the demons while the holy entities had varying states of shock at the nonchalant comment.

“You knew?! How??” Gabriel asked, and Lucifer was glad that this was the ‘bad news’ he noticed was going to be delivered by his brother; simply that his wife betrayed him and all of hell. Well, it was awful, but not really news anymore…

The devil shrugged “Did it come up during the trial that Lilith had been keeping another sinner soul captive during her time in heaven?”

Raphael froze, and spoke in a deceptively calm voice “She. What.”

Umbre decided to speak again, as he was the one to share this information before he found it fair to do so again now “As a shadow, I’m always overlooked, so while she had my friend held captive I spied on her and discovered she had a Contract with a higher up I didn’t know the name of. And a Deal with Adam, but since Adam died we weren’t too worried about that. We thought it’d be smart to warn heaven someone could still be in Lilith’s pocket, but our last call with Emily was a bit chaotic, I guess we forgot to tell her.”

They turned to said seraphim, but she was clearly dazed, half sleeping on Sir Pentious shoulder.

Michael laughed lightly at the girls losing fight against sleep, but frowned in concern as he turned back to his brother “And are you ok? About all of that?”

Lucifer scratched his neck awkwardly “Well, I’m not really sure. But she’d thrown her ring at me 7 years ago, and I’m recently seeing someone new, so I guess it’s going to be ok?”

Gabriel stood up from the bombshell “You’re dating someone new?? What? Since when? Who is it? No, you gotta present this one! We need to veto them!”

The fallen seraphim blushed while Alastor chuckled and replied “That’d be me. I’ve been helping Charlie with her redemption hotel idea for the last months, there were some sparks between us since we met.” His king laughed at the misleading description of their first meeting “But we have begun dating only recently.”

Gabriel dramatically swooned and sat down bemoaning over Raphael’s shoulder “My poor brother's chastity!” He ignored Lucifer's comment in the background of how he’s been married for too many years to still have anything chaste “It's no wonder this deer smells so much like our dear Luci. Our baby is losing his purity to sinner after sinner!”

The devil snorted, of course his siblings could sniff out his apple scent all other Alastor (said Overlord was confused, and worried briefly if he had walked all over the Pride Ring truly smelling so strongly of his king) “I do have a reputation of falling for sinners, y’know?” Lucifer sheepishly laughed at his siblings’ kicked puppy looks at the joke “Sorry, too soon for those falling puns, huh? I had a lot of time to get used to it.”

Charlie interrupted their bickering before they could digress any further from what was being discussed previously “Hey, uh, uncle Michael? So, quick question, just a curiosity, but what about Sera? What’ll happen now? Why did she do all of that?”

The seraphim blinked at his niece and whispered ‘uncle’ softly under his breath, but shook his head and went on to answer her “Apparently her reasoning was that she didn’t like human souls. Before eating the Apple, humans had the same type of soul as any animal, and would dissipate as them when they died. Knowledge made humans eligible to enter heaven and she hated it. She hated that Lucifer made it so she had to deal with winners everyday, so she wanted him to suffer more than Father’s punishment would do. She wanted him to regret ever falling for a human. So she began spreading some whispers of how hated Lucifer was for dooming humanity, how he was the most hated being in all of existence, to make it so human souls wound go to hell 'filled with rage against the devil'. Adam helped out of some petty revenge for having ‘lost’ his first wife to Lucifer.”

Raphael continued for him “When you first came to her with an offer of how to redeem some souls she got incensed that you were trying to ‘lessen your punishment’ by removing failure souls out of hell, so she got it up in her head that she needed to do ‘what was required’ to both keep the status quo and your suffering the way she liked it. She soon entered in contact with your wife to ask if there was any words of unrest rising in hell and since there were whispers of a rebellion, she had the perfect excuse to add a new layer of hurt to all of this; not only was she going to say your proposal had been denied, we, the ‘higher ups’ decided to send an Extermination force to keep everyone down here where they belong.”

Lucifer had a sudden flashback of that day, so long ago, as Sera looked down her nose at him and used those exact same words “The Higher Ups have decided that souls should be kept where they belong. There’s nothing to be done, they already know what is required to keep the balance between realms.”

Gabriel broke him out of his reverie “At first, she didn’t relay our messages to each other just for pettiness sake, but after that she knew if we communicated at all, the ruse would be up. So she started lying about how we hated you, and you hated us. She talked with Adam and they both started corroborating on how they met you frequently, or at least your representatives to keep tabs on things, but you ‘didn’t share about your life’, so she couldn’t really tell us anything.”

Michael finished responding “Now she’s being held in a magical prison cell. You were cast to hell for the crime of giving humanity Choice, which they could send themselves to hell with, so you were to oversee them. She willingly and systematically destroyed human souls for 7 millenia and condemned the members of the Extermination Army by proposing this mess, knowing there were attempts of cleansing sinner souls to give them another opportunity at heaven. And simply because she didn’t like them, and she didn’t like you for liking them, she chose to ignore this option. That's without even taking in consideration that she allowed Lilith to own land in heaven when she knew damn well that your and hers banishment means neither of you are allowed to do so. Her offense is extremely heavy, but we can’t give her a good enough penance without Father here either.”

Gabriel shrugged “We didn't know what to do about that, so we decided to let her simmer in prison for some time and come visit you now that we knew you didn’t hate us, so here we are.”

Michael nodded "I also hope you understand that Lilith is officially forbidden of ever stepping foot in heaven ever again. She more than abused of that mercy. Maintaining someone captive in heaven? Doing Deals, selling her people for material futilities? Buying land when she knew that was not allowed? Absolutely not." He shook his head and sighed, his tone now softer "Other than, we came to inform you clearly that there won't be any more Exterminations, as they're against God’s Law to begin with. And now that we know redemption is possible it's very encouraged for you to explore that option." He finished with a smile as his niece and her friends cheered at the news, while Lucifer took the hand of his new partner, probably conflicted about his ex-wife and the knowledge that humans will finally be allowed to attempt redemption.

The tender way the sinner looked at his brother as he offered him confort made Michael optimist about his family and their future happiness.

Notes:

It's not necessary to read it, but JustARandomCommenter (Guest) had some pertinent questions that made me edit the ending of the 3rd Extra Chapter to give it more details, if anybody wants to go check it out \o/

Also I'm thinking about post the last chapter later today, comment if you guys want that :V

Chapter 41: Romcom Final Credits

Summary:

The tender way the sinner looked at his brother as he offered him confort made Michael optimist about his family and their future happiness.

Notes:

There's one last Extra that comes with this chapter! :D go read it after this! <3

After that, conversation flowed more readily. Charlie presented her own girlfriend, to the delight of her uncles as Veggie was an almost redeemed Exorcist, they were glad their niece had good angelic tastes- differently from Lucifer, who had clearly picked another ‘bad apple’, but at least this one was more… genuine? At least he seemed to already like their brother the way he was and was willing to help and stand by him instead of always telling him to do something or act a specific way for him, like the first woman used to do back in Eden.

The other members of the hotel all cheerfully gave their names and occupations (a bit too cheerfully in Angel’s case, as he winked to the archangels and teasingly spoke of how he was a professional whore, ready to ‘be of service’).

And they all witnessed as Cherri and Sir Pentious had their touching reencounter after the last goodbye they had shared. Cherri gave the snake a nice and long kiss, then punched his arm ”Don’t give your life up like an idiot if you can kiss that well!”

Sir Pentious was clearly even more smitten and asked her “Will you be trying for redemption, Misss Cherri Bomb? I’ll wait for you in heaven, for asss long asss it takess. Or! If you’re not interested in ssuch, I’ll find a way to visit you!”

Cherri was very touched, but admitted she wasn’t sure yet, to which she received another kiss and a promise to keep in contact and to do what she’d thought was right.

If you were to look in the background, you’d see Charlie and (a drunk on sleep) Emily fangirling over the beautiful and emotional scene they were seeing. After all, most of the greatest love stories all have star crossed lovers promising that no distance was too great, and let’s be honest, what is a bigger chasm than between heaven and hell?

After hours, the seraphims confessed they should head back to heaven. Lucifer was sad to see them go so soon after so long, but understood they were still busy with the last happenings. He gave them his number and asked them to come visit him whenever they wished, he’d always find time to welcome them. He cried as he received a similar promise as they made him swear to go visit them in heaven too.

Alastor assured the siblings he'd send invites to his and Lucifer's future wedding as the seraphims were leaving, simply because he noticed the devil’s brothers giving him many side-eyes and he’s a little shit like that. He didn’t notice Lucifer’s red-rimmed heart-eyes at being promised a marriage already.

Emily fainted as soon as she passed the portal back to heaven. At least Raphael was already there to take care of her.

— During the next decade —

Years later and hell was flourishing, in a good way. And all because of the Hazbin Hotel.

Don’t be mistaken, the fiery pits are still a place of the worst that humanity had to offer, it’s just that now the sinners that regretted their choices had many options to attempt redemption.

After their talk, Lucifer kept in contact with his brothers and sent them all the copies of his original ideas to save sinners, and they were almost all approved (a couple of silly ducky ones were rejected due to being improbable that they’d work).

The Hazbin name was kept, as it made sense in a way; all the occupants would be “has been sinners” once they ascended, so it was adopted as the mark of their brand of “Redemption in many shapes”, with multiple establishments all over the rings. Alastor was giddy when he’d convinced Lucifer to make a royal decree that every Overlord territory had to have at least one of those “redemption places”, spying on others was now as easy as demanding an inspection of the Hazbin in there. Lucifer knew that was one of the reasons for the request, but his deer couldn’t trick him into believing that was the sole reason, it was very obvious Alastor was very proud of being the Hazbin Manager, and he always dutifully and thoroughly check the establishment before even contemplating using the excuse to spy on the Overlord of the area.

The V’s lost their status as Overlords soon after this. As Lucifer said, he became more present and interested in his job as king, it didn’t take him long to check the ledger and call bullshit on the corporation standing as an Overlord. Without the title, the 3 demons disbanded over fights for territory, souls and power, who contributed more and had the rights to more. Althought, none of them could receive anything that was under the name of "The V's", which was almost everything. Valentino ended up owning a single cheap brothel, and had to work nights himself. Velvet couldn’t keep anything from her Overlord brand, and became a small-time influencer again. Everything Vox had was under the corporation’s name, so without the title he couldn’t have any of it. Any souls that were tied only to the "corporatioin" were redistributed between the other Overlords.

It was decided that if any of the V’s ever manage to crawl back up the social ladder into the title of Overlord again, they can argue to reclaim the territories and monies, but who knows how many years that could take. And whoever did it first got it all, so there would be no “we help each other then share after”.

Alastor spent an entire day playing many “I told you so” songs on his radio broadcast. If the songs were particularly louder anywhere near the 3 demons, well...

Lucifer undid his big, empty palace; he didn’t like it and it wasn’t needed as he lived in the hotel, sharing the room with his radio demon. His radio demon! They officially married recently, though many believed they were already considerable as such, as they did everything together and were never too far apart, and seemed pretty content with it too. Many couldn’t understand how they liked spending time together when they’re always bickering, but the devil said it was simply their love language (while his beloved smiled sinisterly behind him, daring the fucker to ask that same bullshit twice).

As promised, Alastor sent an invitation to every one of Lucifer’s siblings, penned by hand. He didn’t let Lucifer read what he wrote and the small blond was worried he was antagonizing his brothers, but they seemed to mellow out a lot towards his beloved when they reached the ceremony, and they all told him that maybe he did choose a ‘good apple’ this time.

Charlie and Vaggie exchanged promise rings and are now fiances, the wedding doesn’t have a date yet as they are happily focusing on Charlie’s love and dream of redemption, and don’t want to ‘waste’ too much time in planning anything that doesn’t directly correlate to that.

Their friends are secretly organizing the wedding for them, sneakily asking opinions disguised as new Hazbin buildings arrangements. As soon as they have everything planned, Lucifer will make the venue. It’ll be the biggest, most grand and beautiful matrimony in every realm, and many heavenly officials will be there.

After their marriage, Alastor became royalty, and was automatically removed from the Overlord Ledger. Then it didn't take long for Angel to convince the deer sinner to at least tell Husk that there is a trick to get out of his Contract especially when Lucifer terminated his own with Valentino (Angel had been one of the souls that had a Contract only under Valentino, not the Vs, so it was really kind of Alastor to tell him to inquire for the king's help). Husk spent an entire week maniacally rereading his own Contract, not finding the "get out of Contract free" term. Umbre finally took pity on him and explained that if he set any of his own Contracted free, Alastor could then "treat him like he treated his Contracted". The cat sinner finally set free every soul under his power (which was a bit of a thoughtless move, he spent 2 days in pain in his bed after breaking all of his Contracts so suddenly), and soon both him and Anthony managed to ascend. Like many other residents of any of the Hazbin Angelic Places: Planned Yonder (yes, Charlie insisted on the HAPPY acronym), they come back down to visit everyone whenever they have time. Sometimes hell inhabitants get visited by one of their relatives that went upstairs as a form of incentive. (Nobody said anything when Alastor cried after seeing his mother for the first time in a century when she decided to come down).

Cherri has yet to dedicate herself to redemption, as she likes chaotic explosions and doubts heaven will condone her habits. Sir Pentious visits her regularly and always assures her he’d never force her to choose between him and what makes her happy, he’s more than ok with seeing her and talking with her and being allowed in her life. He’s talking with some officials about installing places with already broken things where souls can be allowed to destroy to their heart's content to let out their emotions in a healthy way, and to add more festivals with fireworks and pyro performances. Even if that still doesn’t entice his Cherri up, he knows many Hazbin winners will be happy with the playground opportunities.

Emily got apprenticed to a different High Seraphim to finish her training. She’s still sad about what Sera did, indignant that all that was taught to her was ‘Do as I say, not as I do’, she visits Sera in her holding cell regularly, as the archangels don't know how to punish her otherwise without God's imput and He has yet to come back.

Sera hates that Emily does that, because she sees her junior look at her in such disappointment, because she’s told of how amazing things are without her, how her not being there advanced heaven and broke the status quo and made everyone happy, be them divine or human souls, how nobody but this naive little girl misses her at all. And she wishes she’d be left alone so she could pretend that the entire realms blew apart without her there to do what was required and keeping humanity in check.

Charlie felt bad for Lilith when reports of how she wasted all her money in futilities landed her homeless, penniless and in hot water with some debt collectors, not to mention how some demons that hated the ex-queen were starting to search for her now that they knew she was no longer a royal. Although Alastor convinced the princess not to take the first woman into the hotel, she talked her father into getting her a safe house that couldn’t be taken so she’d at least have a safe hoof over her head. 

Lilith hates the place, it’s lousy and simple. But nobody wants to sell her a proper house because she has shitty credit, the nobles she used to be friends with aren't even looking in her direction now, and nobody wants to hire her for the good jobs as those snobs can’t stand her strong personality. People keep talking about her wherever she goes because hell was a shit-hole while she was queen, but not even a decade after the radio demon assumed the reins they already lived in much better conditions, and food was regulated so it couldn’t be drugged, and there were people being redeemed. And some of those fuckers were following her, salivating at the chance to attack her. And she hated hated hated how loved the deer was, he was nothing but her filthy animal, but she couldn’t tell anyone because of their Deal and everything was so unfair - Anyways, she’s still a bitter woman, but she’s alive.

And this is the story of how everyday is now a happy day in hell!

Notes:

(And I get peace of mind because I finally wrote this down)

 

That's a wrap! maybe you're disappointed with this overview ending, but it's my 1st fic, and this is what I felt I could write as I wanted a closed circuit story with a happy ending. I am working on the sequel and most of these loose paragraphs are going to be reworked into actual chapters in it, but take in consideration that it'll take me a long time to post it, and it also depends on my obssession with hazbin not wanning too much in the time it takes to write it... probably more than a year considering how long this fic took
so I wanted something that wouldn't fell unfinished in the chance the sequel ends being abandoned or enters a long hiatus 😔😅 that turned up being that ending in romcoms where the characters get a brief paragraph telling what happened to them after the happily ever after is announced. What happened to each character here was not necessarily chronological, so the order in which things happened would change a bit in the sequel

I'll post a new chapter here in the event of the sequel being completed 👌 thank you everyone, for reading this whole thing, for the ideas along the fic, for being interested and commenting on the chapters 🥹 this was super fun and a marvel of an experience for me 💖

You're all welcome to continue leaving comments and ideas, bc they might still become a Extra or might be incorporated into the sequel (as it's sitll in the beggining stages, anything has a chance to be added 👀). It might even help me actually continue it and guarantee it won't be abandoned lol

Also! Nobody asked especifically but I give blanket permission to use anything I put in here as inspiration for your own fics! if any scene in particular tickled a plot bunny you can feed it XD just send me a link after bc I want to read your fic too! and it'd be nice if you credited me in your work, depending on how heavy the inspiration was lol
Also-Also! Podfics, Translations, and Recomendations in other sites are more than Ok in my books (I consider them an honor tbh) just credit me and we're golden👌

Again, thank you everyone 💖 And in case you didn't read the A/N at the beggining of this chapter, there's one last Extra in the DLCs fic :D go check it out!

Notes:

This fanfic has 41 chapters, with extra chapters in the second fic if this series. If you leave a comment in this fic, it might inspire me to add a couple more Ks to the Extras XD
I'm working on a sequel, too!

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of My mind is never at Peace