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Madison bit her lip, adjusting her skirt and fixing her hair one last time before setting out. She was wearing panties today, as she always was when she went outside, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that any affini who caught a glance would somehow know her... recreational activity. It likely be the end of her life as an independent, but more importantly, it would be mortifying .
It was just a quick grocery trip, it should be fine, right?
Satisfied, or rather, acknowledging that her hair and clothes weren’t going to get better, Madison backed away from the mirror with a sigh. A cuddle with BunBun would help, as would her paci, but she couldn’t risk either. A pat on the plushie’s head as she headed out would have to suffice.
The bright Cassian sun was thankfully hidden behind a thick blanket of morning clouds, the cool crisp air fresh in Madison’s lungs. It soothed Madison’s nerves somewhat, but barbs of it still pricked her. She would stay in and compile everything if it didn’t mean she’d lose half her reasons for leaving the hab. The city wasn’t as dangerous as it used to be, but old habits die hard.
Its crowds hadn’t changed much, however. A bit thinner since the Affini banned vehicles, opening the streets for foot traffic, and the new outer boroughs had seen many leave but for all those who left it seemed just as many moved in. Even this early in the day, the streets were bustling. Madison loved the way it made her feel invisible as she made the short trip, even if the noise could get a bit much.
The massive double doors of the grocery store slid open, and Madison was immediately greeted by a cheery Affini. “Good morning, Madison! It’s nice to see you again.”
“Mornin’, Miss Stellata.” Madison smiled, Aurelia Stellata, seventh bloom, was something of a friend, the closest thing she had to one in the city, if she was honest. Which was likely just because she was one of the only people she saw with any regularity, as depressing as that was to dwell on.
“How are you today, cutie? Any fun plans?”
Madison shrugged, “Go home, relax, maybe talk to people online and watch some stuff. Go for a walk later. How about you? Anything new come in?”
“A lot of things actually! I've been busy stocking most of the night, but just about everything is on shelves now. That reminds me,” Miss Stellata stood nearly a full four meters as she rose up from her checkout, stepping out to approach Madison. Stars , she always felt so small standing next to an affini, but Miss Stellata especially. She had a habit of making her heart and stomach flutter. “We’re getting a new type of juice in soon, we’re offering samples today!” The affini offered a cup, containing a dark liquid that stained the sides purple. “I’d think you’d really enjoy it.”
Madison took it almost purely on reflex. She was never good at saying no, and everything being free had made it harder to refuse. More than that, there was something to its sweet smell that was drawing her in. Calling her. The taste was even better, all the delights of summer and spring dancing on her tongue with all the grace of the wind. She savored it, feeling a sting of disappointment as the last few drops delighted her tongue.
“That was good , what was that?”
“Just a mix of berries, specially developed for cuties like you~” Vines gently lifted the cup from Madison’s hand’s and she caught a whiff of her; a floral scent that stuck in her nostrils as much as her mind. “We should have the first shipment of it in two or three days, and I wanted to give sophonts something to look forward to. I think I might need to put in a bigger order at this rate. Don't worry, I'll save you some, little one~”
Madison's spine tingled as Miss Stellata pat her, ducking out from under it in a panic. “Riguhmthanks!” She hurried off, grabbing a cart with a clamorous sound and heading off as quickly as possible. Hopefully the Affini didn't see how hard she blushed.
“Just make sure to let me know if you need anything~!” Miss Stellata called after her, almost signing.
Once in the aisle, Madison let out a sigh. Stars, that was close. Getting caught acting like a floret was a fine way to end up one—which was fine and all, but that wasn't for her! She liked living alone, it was quiet, uneventful, and most of all private . No one could judge her for her... proclivities. Stars, what would Miss Stellata think about her if she knew? She'd probably think she was disgusting, or call her a freak, or—
Madison bit back the welling emotion before she drowned in it. No one knew, and she was going to keep it that way. She was going to get milk, cereal, some fruit and veggies, a few other things, and then go home and cuddle BunBun for the rest of the day. Maybe even indulge in her guilty pleasure. She felt a twinge down below just thinking about it.
The best part about coming to the grocery store so early was how empty it was. Terrans shopping only just outnumbered the Affini stocking the shelves, and roaming the store to help those in need. Madison greeted a few along the way, having become a familiar face over the last year and change.
There were a lot of new options on display today. It seemed like there was genuine local produce being grown now—something unthinkable to Madison just two years ago. She grabbed a locally grown apple to compare with the usual stuff, grown on the massive ship parked above the city. She barely noticed something cool and comforting settling in her gut as she examined the two options. They looked and weighed about the same, and despite being born and raised here she wasn't as proud of her home as some Cassians. Still it was nice to know she would be—would this be supporting anything, actually? It's not like it was paid for.
Madison shrugged, putting some of both into her cart before carrying on. They gave it to the grocer so people would eat it, and she was curious to see how they tasted. A warm feeling crept into the corners of her mind, melting something. A faint pressure in her abdomen faded as quickly as it came. Goodness, there were so many different types of carrots. She just grabbed some of the baby ones to move on with her day.
The best part about getting milk in the Compact, outside of it actually being available and not a rehydrated synthetic powder Madison could barely afford, was that the stasis units would keep it fresh until it was used. No more looking at expiry dates, or worrying about accidentally drinking it after it went sour~ There was another faint stirring that she couldn't place. She was probably just a bit stressed about being out, better hurry and finish up.
That nagging in her came and went a few times as Madison wandered the isle. It was getting a little hard to focus on anything else, but she just couldn't figure it out. It was so oddly familiar, and yet even as it built it just felt like she was looking at it from the wrong angle. Like she was trying to gauge a painting from behind.
It was a very good thing Madison had picked up groceries often enough to be able to do most of it on autopilot. Whatever it was, she was nearly done, she just needed the last few items; some cereal, and a less than healthy snack of some variety. They were both in the same aisle. Goodness there were a lot of options though, the choices running over her mind like water. Pretzels? Sticks, rods, or classic? Cheese squares? Which flavor? Any of a hundred pastry cakes? She rarely picked up the same thing twice, and she really needed to go already.
Oh. Oh, no .
“Do you need help, Madison?”
Madison turned to find Miss Stellata, and in shock let go. Hot shame leaked from her, dribbling down her legs and pooling beneath her. A hand shot down to stop the source as she desperately fought to reign her bladder in. How didn't she notice how close she was? She never had an accident before, not even when she had tried to!
“Oh mulch, Madison?!”
It was too late. It was too late. Madison collapsed into the cooling embarrassment in despair, crying as she lost control completely. She was soaked in her own piss from her socks to the hem of her shirt. Now Miss Stellata was going to think she was gross and we're and tell her to grow up an’—an’—
Vines lifted Madison up, cradling her, soothing her with long strokes up and down her back. “It's okay, Maddy, I got you, shh, shh, you're alright now.”
“Wanna go home!” Madison cried, burying her face in the large woman. “Wan’ BunBun!” Everything was going wrong. This was supposta be a quick chore, and now she was wet, and her one almost-friend was gonna hate her!
Miss Stellata brushed away the tears, “I'll see that you get home nice and dry, okay? And I'm not upset or disappointed either. But why didn't you wear your diapers, petal? You know little ones like you need them.”
“Wha?” Madison pulled away to look up at the Affini. Did she say what she thought she said? “I-I dun’ wear diapers.”
“Now petal, lying is very rude. I'm going to let it slide this time because you're having a bad day, but if you keep doing it I'll have to punish you.” Madison felt her brain go critical, her face burning with its radiation. How did she find out? Punish how ?! “Ah, Tillia, there you are. Could you get me the stuff we talked about while I clean up here and take care of Maddie? Thank you.”
Oh fuck , other sophonts were seeing her like this?! Madison desperately tried to push her way into Miss Stellata, having abandoned any thought besides ‘escape.’ Even if she wasn't upset with her, that didn't mean everyone else suddenly no longer found her disgusting. The leaves and vines refused entry.
“Calm down little one, I promise no one is judging you being small. It's impressive you managed to pretend to be so big for so long, but you don't have to do that anymore, alright? You can let go now.”
Something in Madison fractured, tears once again stinging her eyes. “Bu-but, it's gross, an’ weird, an’ Imma freak, and, uhm, I need to act my age, don't I?”
Miss Stellata poked Madison in the nose. “What did I say about lying, little one?” She playfully chided.
Tillia returned, giving her a pat as they delivered a bundle. “I'll be in front while you take care of your little one if you need more help.”
“Thank you, actually, could you get Nora on that? I want you to” The rest was in that singy language Affini spoke. Vines set Madison down, and in a flurry stripped her in full view of Tillia and anyone passing by. She was thankful she picked such a quiet hour, she could hardly handle the embarrassment of a fellow Terran seeing her like this. Not that she could bear to look.
“Of course, I'll be back as soon as possible. Good luck with your... customer.”
Miss Stellata laid a mat out, placing Madison on it and lifting her legs. Realization hit at the same time as the cool wipe did. “I-I don't need diapers! I've never had an accident before!”
“Awww, of course you don't!” The Affini cooed as she ruffled Madison’s hair. “But don't worry, we'll get rid of the rest of that pesky ‘potty training’ soon~”
“You can't—I'm not—that's—” Madison stammered, as Miss Stellata cleaned her off. The Affini pulled a thick bit of padding from its case and began to fluff it. It had bunnies on it. Her voice squeaked, “Have you been spying on me? D-did you drug me?!”
A pacifier was pushed into Madison's mouth, “We'll have to sort out your behavioral issues too, accusing others is not nice, petal.”
Madison wanted to spit it out, to protest. Miss Stellata was treating her like a misbehaving toddler! She should give her an earful, let her know this was an unacceptable way to treat an almost-friend, and march home, naked or hot! And yet, as she lightly held the paci in place, powdering her so she could diaper her—it was like something out of her wildest fantasies, the kind she rarely allowed herself. It wouldn't be so bad to just go along with it a little , would it?
Madison suckled on the paci; it was immediately soothing. Yeah, enjoying this was fine.
“There's a good sprout~ I knew Maddie was sweet little girl who just needed a some help out of her shell~ Now, let's get you nice and padded~” Madison was in no mood to oppose her, and even if she did, it's not like she could fight the Affini. Miss Stellata was more than twice her height, let alone size. All she could do was enjoy her wonderful new paci, and the gentle nuk-nuk it made. It was funny how much more relaxing it was than her old one at home.
Miss Stellata lifted her legs and slid the diaper underneath Madison. She could have mistaken it for a cloud with how soft it was, and as thick as one too. It would be a miracle if she could do better than a waddle even when it was dry. Stars , she probably couldn't even walk when it got soaked. She definitely had to compile some of these when she got home. An errant thought of crawling in front of Miss Stellata, waiting for a change, breezed through her empty head.
The Affini cooed as she picked Maddie up, standing her, but not actually allowing her legs to hold any weight. A shirt and skirtalls were put on her, short enough that the diaper was easily visible. It also has a lotta cute bunnies and was all pink n’ white! It also had vines n’ flowers too. The shirt had little hearts dotting it.
Booties followed, and they were the bestest color—pink! They had little marbles in ‘em. It was a good thing Miss Stellata was holding them. She fixed Maddie’s hair, too, pulling the shoulder length brunette into two short twin tails at the top of her head. The final touch was a bunny clip attaching the paci to the skirtalls. She looked so super cute right now! It was all so matchy and adorbs! Miss Stellata seemed to agree, vines writhing with joy as she squealed.
“Oh, aren't you just precious ?! Goodness, I should have done this months ago, after I caught you blushing at the diaper display.” Miss Stellata sweeped Maddie up, binding her to her chest like a baby. “At least we're doing it now, isn't that right, little one?”
Maddie giggled, what were they doing? She couldn't really ‘member. She protested as the paci was removed, but a bottle of the juice quickly pressed to her lips got her to calm down. It was so nummies! “I didn't lie when I said this was just a berry blend, you know. It’s just that these berries have some side-effects when combined with a secondary xenodrug, and a disposition for a certain mindset makes it all the more slippery~ To put it in terms you can still understand, you're gonna leak all your ‘big’ into your diapees! Isn't that fun~?”
A puff of Miss Stellata’s scent came over Maddie. That did sound fun! Being big was like an itchy coat she was forced to wear. Pluses she got yummy bottles of juice! No, wait, she had, uhm, resposibitys and stuff, didn't she? An’ people were gonna—gonna think she was—she couldn't ‘member, it wuz gettin’ real toughies to think, but it was bad . She was bad for liking this, she needed to stop! Maddie just barely managed to stop before the bottle was half-drained, pulling away. “Nyooo, c-can’t!”
“Aww, is my little one getting fussy? Does she want her paci?” The Affini swapped it with the bottle, and Maddie spat it out.
“Mish Stewwahwa! Peease!”
“That's ‘Mommy’ to you little one.” She placed the paci back in, this time holding it in place. “And I know you feel like this behavior is wrong, that's why I'm doing this.” Maddie instinctively suckled on it, and felt her thoughts start to slow, that comfort wrapping around her mind like a blankie.
“I saw you get dressed so cutely hidden away in your hab, happily cuddling your plushies, only to decompile the whole outfit in the morning, trembling. I saw the way you longingly looked at other littles, only to throw a fit when you came how. I saw how fearful you were of getting caught, how carefully you hid your padding and yourself from those around you. I saw a little sprout too afraid to ever be authentic, and I saw how that hurt her. I could stand by no longer. You are not broken, you are not bad, you are you , and you deserve to be loved.”
Maddie sniffled, trying not to cry. Mommy dried her tears, looking down at her with eyes that sparkled. Silver and gold and flecks pink dancing, swirling. “It's okay to let go , little one. You're safe with me.”
Warmth flooded Maddie's pants as she smiled, and she felt something else loosen inside. Like somethin’ supa heavy was finally slipping offa her. Was that her ‘big’ that Mommy was talking about? She couldn't wait to lose the rest of it, but she was pretty sure her bladder was empty at the current. It was hard to tell.
Mommy carried her to the front of the store, past a blushing Terran. Maddie gave them a wave. Oh! There was a whole playpen next to it now! With bricks and books and crayons and—and—BubBun was there!!! She reached towards her, making grabby hands.
“Seems like my little girl is in a better mood now~” Mommy grabbed the front of Maddie's diapee with a large hand. “Awww, so precious ~ Don't worry, these can hold a lot more. Before I let you go play, I need you to finish your baba, okay?”
“Baba! Baba!” Maddie giggled, letting her paci fall out. Mommy gave her the rest of the nummy juice, playfully chiding her for trying to drink so fast. It was even betterer now that she knew what it actually was! Or maybe Mommy gave her something else too? It didn' really matters no more.
Mommy set her down in the spacious padded playpen with a pat. Maddie immediately latched onto BunBun, giving her a good squeeze. “We gotta Mommy BunBun! She's really nicies and, uhm, we like her a lots.”
“I love you too, cutie. Play with your toys while Mommy checks out this nice Terran. Look, I even got you a nice activity page.”
“Yes, Mommy!” Maddie took the sheet, crawling over to crayons. She picked it the cutest pink and started to fill it out. A lot of it was boring words, some were too big to even wanna try reading, but she did get some of ‘em! ‘No dressing herself allowed’ and ‘always in diapers’ and other fun stuffs! There was a word search, and a maze, and a place for her to doodle them together and a word unscramble!
Maddie lost track of time as scribbled on the sheet, the occasional warmth in her plampers the only thing letting her know time had passed. By the third one, she didn't even feel a warning twinge before it happened. Mommy said she was almost totallys unpotty-trained! Oh! That was the others thingy that was going on. Mommy would make sure was doing alright, checkin’ in on her. She’d say funny stuff about ‘maturity bleed’ an’ regression permanence’ an’ sometimes give her another bottle for a little!
The other other things was other people! Lotsa Affini and some Terrans told Mommy how cute Maddie was! That always made her super blushy. It was good thing Mommy gave her BunBun it m to hide in. Some of them even gave her a pat or played with her a little. A few even checked her diaper!
Finishing the playmat was really toughies, but with Mommy's help Maddie finished the whole thing! She was really happy when she figured out the letters made their names. “Awww, this is the most adorable contract I've ever had! I think I'm going to have to hang this on the statis cubby when we get home. After filing it, of course.”
Maddie beamed with pride, Mommy was proud of her! “Fankyoo!” She beamed with her paci still in her mouth.
“No, little one, thank you.” There was a glint in Mommy's eyes, woah, She had lotsa sharp teefies. “Now, let's check that diaper.”
Maddie giggled as Mommy squeezed her padding. “Yep, that's definitely soaked. You need a change, little Maddie~” Mommy set down the mat, placing her on it. Maddie enjoyed her paci, looking around as Mommy took care of her. Goodness, she was never going to get over how great the wipes were, or how niceys the powder smelled.
Huh, Maddie didn't realize she had been, like, in the store window this whole time. Eyes would catch her own, before darting away just as fast. Was something wrong with her? Oh! She was naked and having her diaper changed! Maybe they were just jelly cuz they didn't have a Mommy to change their diapers. Yeah, that had to be it!
“ Maddie .” Mommy's tone was sharp enough to demand her attention. Ohgoodnessgosh, she was peeing again! She couldn't even feel it as she watched it come out! For a little bits, Maddie was worried Mommy was mad. Not only had she peed everywhere, she had got Her wet too!
A scritch proved otherwise. “Congratulations, little one, you're completely urinary incontinent~”
“Wha?”
“That means—” Mommy moved in a flurry. Vines wiping her off, drying and powdering her. The diaper beneath her was swapped with a fresh one, and She booped her nose as she taped it on. “You belong in diapers~”
Maddie giggled, “I coulda told yoo dat, Mommy!”
“I'm sure.” Mommy smiled, the warmth of the sun itself in Her eyes. She swept her up, cradling her in her arms. “Now, how about we go home and I show you your nursery, hm?”
“Yes, Mommy!”