Chapter 1: Prologue: Somewhere in the Stars
Summary:
The Crystal Gems happen upon a tiny little town just west of weird...
Chapter Text
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Oregon, 1843
Somewhere in the stars, there was a place they once called home.
None of them had seen it in centuries–one of them had never even seen it at all. None of them had any desire to see it either. Why would they want to, when everything they had fought so hard to save was right here on Earth?
No, as far as the Crystal Gems were concerned, they were exactly where they needed to be. For thousands of years, they’d wandered this strange, yet special planet together. They’d worked tirelessly to protect the humans who inhabited it from the echoes of the danger they first brought here. And though there were only four where there used to be many, they’d still stuck together through it all.
Even now as they headed into the unknown all over again.
Across hundreds of years of traveling the globe, the Gems had seen just about everything it had to offer. Sprawling deserts, towering tundras, lush rainforests, even the depths of the vast ocean. But there was something about the dense pine forest they found themselves wandering through that seemed… different than any other place they’d ever been to before. The canopy of trees blocked the sunny sky from view, casting the recently-forged trail ahead in deep shadow. In the distance, birds sang an almost haunting tune from their unseen perches as a gentle breeze whistled through the leaves.
The entire wood carried an eerie quality to it, the kind that would make the hair on the back of just about anyone’s neck stand on end just by walking through it. But the Crystal Gems weren’t just anybody. They’d seen and dealt with far more unnerving things than a peculiar forest before.
Still, that didn’t stop Pearl from being the first to voice what all of them were thinking.
“Rose…” she fell in step with their leader, gently gripping her arm. “Forgive me if I sound a bit… paranoid, but… there’s something about this place that doesn’t feel quite right…”
“I know…” Rose hummed in agreement. Her focused frown soon shifted into a playful grin as she laid her hand over Pearl’s, giving it a squeeze. “It’s fascinating , isn’t it?”
“...Fascinating isn’t exactly the word I would have used, but…”
“Who knows what we’ll find in a place like this?” Rose’s smile widened as she pressed on ahead. “The people we could meet, the things we might see, oh, I’m so excited just thinking about it!”
“Yeah!” Amethyst chimed in. Rose laughed as the much smaller gem climbed up to sit on her shoulders. “I love checkin’ out new places! And hopefully whatever humans they got hanging around here are way more fun than those two boring guys we kept running into back east were.”
“Lewis and Clark were a bit of a drag,” Garnet agreed, her arms crossed.
“Well… what if there aren’t any people out this way at all?” Pearl asked, frowning.
“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that, Pearl,” Rose’s eyes lit up as she noticed something on the road just ahead. “Look! People!”
“Oh… great…” Pearl deflated as she spotted them too. A covered wagon sat on the side of the fresh trail, its horses pausing to rest as the travelers accompanying it did the same. Rose hurried over to them, a friendly smile hanging on her pink lips as she waved them down. As happy to meet new humans as she always was, she didn’t even notice the startled looks the party of pioneers sent her way as she approached.
“Hello, there!” she cheerfully greeted. “Where are all of you humans headed?”
The group exchanged a confused, almost unnerved glance. One of them, a man who was likely the leader of the tiny party, spoke up. “Er… we were just leavin’ actually, ma’am.”
“Leaving… where, exactly?” Pearl stepped in to stand at Rose’s side.
“That god-forsaken valley just a few miles up ahead!” one of the other pioneers exclaimed, frantic. “The entire place is cursed , filled with all sorts of unspeakable creatures and vile monsters!”
“Monsters?” All four of the Gems questioned. They exchanged a worried glance, already on the same wavelength about exactly what these so-called creatures could be.
“It’s much too bizarre and bewildering of a place for anyone to live,” another traveler scoffed as he hitched up the horses. “Monsters aside, they say that settlement is haunted by a powerful sort of evil, a demon that watches ya in your dreams!”
“We don’t want no parts of that kinda black magic witchcraftery,” the leader of the group spit into the forest. By now, the rest of his party had reconvened and were ready to keep going in the opposite direction. Anything to get as far away from the place they all seemed so afraid of as quickly as they possibly could. “That’s why we’re headin’ out. I recommend you ladies do the same, iffen ya know what’s good for ya.”
With a tip of his hat, the pioneer leader mounted his horse and called for the group to move on. The Gems stood by, watching them go as a newfound anxious silence settled over the woods. It was only broken as Amethyst snorted out a laugh. “Those guys were funny.”
“Those monsters they were talking about…” Pearl mused. “You don’t suppose they could be…?”
“Corrupted Gems,” Garnet finished.
“Maybe…” Rose turned back towards the path. “Whatever it is, I think it’s worth our while to check it out, especially if there are people living there that could be in trouble.”
“What ‘bout that, uh… diamond thing those guys mentioned?” Amethyst asked obliviously.
“ Demon , Amethyst!” Pearl snapped harshly. Her hands coiled into tight fists, especially when she noticed Rose tense up beside her. “They said it was a demon . Which is nothing more than a silly old human superstition anyway.”
“P-Pearl’s right,” Rose said, her voice tight, almost anxious even. “We… We have nothing to worry about. Let’s keep going.”
Rose’s unsteadiness was largely lost on Amethyst and Garnet as they trailed along after their leader. Pearl lingered close by her side, not needing to say a word as she offered her a small, supportive smile. Even if it was a smile Rose struggled to return.
The Gems couldn’t claim to know much about this area, only recently dubbed “Oregon” by other pioneers who had come out west to claim it. But if there was one thing they had plenty of experience with, as much as they wished they didn’t, it was Gem monsters. After all, they’d defeated far more than enough of their corrupted comrades than they could even count.
As they ventured deeper into the woods, they kept their eyes wide open for any sign of corrupted Gem activity. What none of them noticed, however, were the many sets of eyes trained on them. At first, most were carved into the surrounding trees, largely unnoticed by the Gems as they passed them by. Rose shuddered when she did spot one of them, but when she glanced behind her shoulder, the frighteningly familiar slitted-pupiled gaze she thought she saw was gone. Nothing more than a trick played on her by the forest… and her own dread over something she’d left behind eons ago.
Or at least… that’s all she hoped it was.
Ever adventurous, Amethyst sprinted ahead of the rest of the group, despite Pearl’s warnings for her to slow down. She laughed as she haphazardly rolled down the hill leading to the valley the pioneers had mentioned, only stopping when she ran into something headfirst. “Ow!” she yelped, reeling back to sit on the grassy ground. She rubbed the side of her head as she finally noticed what she’d crashed into, a sight quite unlike anything she’d ever seen before. “Huh?”
She blinked, making sure she wasn’t just seeing things. But sure enough, the tiny man, only about as tall as her already short waist, was sitting a few feet away, a coned hat on his head and a long, gray beard on his face. From the looks of it, he appeared to be every bit as disoriented as Amethyst was, and every bit as baffled by her as she was by him.
“Whoa!” she leaned forward, grinning as she poked the tip of the man’s pointy hat. “What the heck are you ?”
“Schmebulock!” the man exclaimed gruffly.
“Ha!” Amethyst threw her head back, laughing. “That’s gotta be the dumbest name I’ve ever heard! I love it!”
“...Schmebulock…” the man frowned, glancing away in embarrassment.
“Amethyst!” Pearl hurried down the hill much more cautiously. She stopped short, however, as soon as she noticed the tiny man Amethyst had just grabbed and pulled into a loose headlock. “What in the world is that thing?”
“I dunno,” Amethyst shrugged. “A Schmebulock, I guess.”
“Schmebulock,”’ he repeated again. Oddly enough, he didn’t even try to struggle out of Amethyst’s hold, at least not until Pearl gently nudged him out of it with her foot.
“Let it go! You don’t know where it’s been!” she scolded.
“Aw, Pearl!” Amethyst pouted as Schmebulock tumbled out of her grip.
“Oh, look at that!” Rose gasped as she floated down to join the pair. Garnet followed along soon after. “It’s a tiny tiny human! This one’s even smaller than… oh, what are the little humans called again, Garnet?”
“Children.”
“Yes, those,” Rose knelt down so she could be at least a little more on the tiny man’s level. “I didn’t know they came in sizes this small though. How cute!”
“Schmebulock!”
“Oh!” Rose laughed brightly. “Well, ‘Schmebulock’ to you, too!”
“Rose,” Garnet tapped her on the shoulder. She pointed her gaze up to the surrounding woods, where many other tiny men just like Schmebulock were peering out at them from behind bushes and trees.
“What in the…?” Pearl trailed off, beside herself with confusion. That confusion spread to the other Gems as Schmebulock suddenly jumped to his feet and scurried off towards his brethren, proclaiming his name one final time all the while.
“Schmeeeeeebuloooock!”
“...Nice to meet you too!” Rose called after him, waving.
“That was strange,” Garnet stoically noted.
“Not as strange as that thing!” Amethyst chuckled, pointing to the forest behind them. A creature that appeared to be a bear emerged, though he was anything but ordinary. Not only did he walk on his hind legs, but he had not just one, but eight heads and eight limbs. He sauntered by the Gems, only pausing for a moment to stare at them curiously before he, of all things, spoke .
“Greetings,” his uppermost head said almost cordially. With that, he headed off without another word, leaving a group of very bewildered Gems behind.
“Um… hello?” Rose returned after a moment of awkward silence.
“Was that thing… a fusion?” Pearl wondered to herself. “Oh, what am I saying? Bears can’t fuse… can they?”
“Look out.” Pearl started when Garnet suddenly grabbed her, moving her out of the way just in time before a peculiar flock could fly straight into her. It was led by a creature that looked as if it were a grotesque mix between a hawk and an octopus, followed by a horde of bats the size of turkeys and a pack of palm-sized people with glittering wings.
“W-what is all of this?!” Pearl exclaimed, frazzled. She couldn’t hold back a startled cry when a giant wooden hand emerged from the forest canopy above. It grabbed a nearby grazing deer with ease before hauling it away to parts unknown.
“Oh my…” Rose frowned, worried for the animal. Pearl, however, had much bigger concerns on her mind and she had no problem voicing them.
“Rose, this place is… ridiculous !” she grabbed Rose’s arm and held on tight. “Between the miniature men and bear fusions and… and horned horses ?” She scoffed as such a creature emerged from the woods to graze, sporting a colorful mane and a sparkling horn on its head.
“Hmph ,” the “horse” turned its nose up at her. “Well, a horn is much more preferable to having some… some oversized gemstone on my forehead like you .” With another sneer, the creature elegantly trotted away, paying Pearl’s offended gasp no mind.
“See what I mean?!” she ignored Amethyst’s howling laughter behind her. “I think those travelers were right. Whatever this confounded place is, its-”
“It’s perfect !”
“Huh?” Pearl blinked when he realized Rose had gone on ahead without her. She was peering through the next layer of trees, stars in her eyes as she took in the vast valley ahead. The other Gems joined her, curious to see what the source of all this strangeness was. And really, “strange” only barely began to explain what awaited in the valley below.
The first thing they noticed was the pair of cliffs on the far side of the expanse, both cleaved through as they stood facing each other. In the shadow of those cliffs was a large lake, fed by a towering waterfall that sparkled in the afternoon sun. Beside that lake was the very beginnings of a settlement, a tiny town made up of wooden cottages and ramshackle lean-tos.
Humans had only just moved into the valley, that much was clear. But their much more unusual neighbors seemed right at home as they traversed the area freely. A herd of horned horses galloped through an open field while another flock of giant bats darted to a nearby cave to rest. The same wooden giant from earlier passed the Gems by at a distance, lying down in a sizable clearing for his afternoon nap. A group of tiny men and winged people were in the midst of some kind of argument at the foot of the hill. A large, mysterious shape loomed low just under the surface of the lake and a family of plaid-colored platypuses made off with a stash of food they’d stolen from the human town near their nest.
In almost every direction the Gems looked, they saw something surreal and spectacular. For all the years they’d spent living on Earth, they’d never encountered a place quite like this. A place that appeared to be out of the very pages of the myths and legends humans enjoyed telling each other. A place that was filled with the impossible around every last turn.
A place that practically seemed to call to them to come closer, to see more, to learn more. To experience more than they ever had before.
“Uh… I don’t think there are any corrupted Gems here,” Amethyst pointed out the obvious.
“Nope,” Garnet shook her head. “What is here looks like it's something far stranger than that.”
“Strange… but special ,” Rose wore a gentle smile. “I can’t even believe this place is even real, it's so… so…”
“Worrisome?” Pearl guessed.
"Wild," Garnet chimed in.
“Weird?” Amethyst finished, smirking.
“ Wonderful ,” Rose sighed happily. “It’s so wonderful, so beautiful because it's so unique ! I could have never imagined something like this existed on Earth, but here it is, right in front of us. So…” her smile turned a touch mischievous as she threw her arms around her entire team. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go see it all for ourselves!”
“Yeah!” Amethyst cheered as Rose swept them off their feet. She took a mighty leap into the air, carrying all three of them as they floated together into the valley awaiting them.
“R-Rose, wait!” Pearl tried to warn, only to be drowned out by the rushing wind surrounding them. “Oh… I hope we don’t end up staying here for too long…” she muttered with a tired sigh.
“You might want to hope for something else then,” Garnet remarked, adjusting her shades. Pearl didn’t have a chance to ask what she meant as they finally landed. Rose continued taking the lead as she eagerly ran on ahead into the valley proper, an excited smile spread wide across her face. The other Gems hurried after her, barely even noticing the relatively new sign they passed under. It gave a simple greeting to every new visitor to enter the valley, even visitors as otherworldly as the Crystal Gems:
“Welcome to Gravity Falls!”
Somewhere in the stars, there was a place they once called home.
And somewhere in these woods, they’d make a new one all their own.
Chapter 2: Tourist Trapped
Summary:
When Dipper and Mabel arrive to Gravity Falls, Oregon to spend the summer with their Grunkle Stan, they find a bit more than they bargained for with mysterious journals, lovestruck gnomes, pink lions, and new friends.
Notes:
Back so soon? What can I say, I'm inspired! I also had sooooo much fun writing this first chapter, introducing everyone and bringing our beloved Mystery Kids back together again (for the first time). Just some reminders to keep in mind as we head in here. While we're basically starting at the beginning of the Gravity Falls timeline, as far as Steven Universe goes, some episodes have already happened (a little out of order). The biggest thing to note here is that Bubble Buddies has already happened, which means Steven and Connie are already friends from the outset of the fic. With that out of the way, let's have some fun as our beloved MK face off the "dreaded" gnomes... ;)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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“Well, Mabel, it’s official: this summer is gonna be boring .”
“Whaaaaat?” Mabel finally pulled her face away from the window. It had been all but glued there for almost the entire 10 hour bus ride, giving her the perfect vantage point to point out anything even remotely interesting to her brother. And unfortunately for Dipper, Mabel found just about everything interesting. “No way! Just look around us, bro-bro! There are trees, and, uh… more trees!”
“Wow, trees ,” Dipper deadpanned as he turned his attention back to the book he’d been reading. “Definitely can’t see those anywhere else. Really makes you wonder why this bus isn’t full of tourists desperate to visit this ‘Gravity Falls’ place.”
Mabel couldn’t really argue with him there. Aside from the two of them and their stoically silent driver, the bus was empty as it veered down the forest-bordered road. All of the other riders had long since gotten off at other towns along the way. The twins’ destination was the final stop on the route, about as far out of the way as anyone could seemingly get. At least, that’s what it felt like to Dipper and Mabel.
“There’s gotta be some tourists there,” Mabel shrugged. “How else would Grunkle Stan be able to run that ‘Mystery Shack’ Mom and Dad told us about? I hope it's as mysterious as it sounds!’
“I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you, Mabel-” Dipper tried to warn, but it was already too late. He knew better than anyone just how hard it was to derail his sister from whatever zany paths her colorful imagination often led her down.
“What if he’s got a really big potato? Or a zebra with rainbow stripes? Or a chicken that can sing the alphabet backwards ?” With each new item she listed, she became progressively more excited. Her brother, on the other hand, became progressively less interested in her outlandish flights of fantasy. “Or what if he knows an alien–no, a bunch of aliens who are friendly and cool and play cards with him on weekends or something! Wouldn’t that be crazy ?”
“Crazy sums up pretty much everything you just said,” Dipper couldn’t help but smirk. If nothing else, at least Mabel had made this otherwise dull drag of a trip a bit more entertaining. At long last, though, it seemed as though that trip was finally coming to an end as the bus screeched to a slow stop. A lone sign on the side of the road marked the bus stop, other than that, the area was just as rugged and devoid of any signs of civilization as the rest of the woods.
Save of course, for the only person who was standing impatiently by the bus stop.
“Is that him?” Mabel asked as she took in the sight of the vaguely familiar suit-clad man.
“I sure hope not…” Dipper frowned, noting the openly surly look on the man’s wrinkled face.
Despite his reservations, he still let Mabel grab his arm and pull him out of their shared seat. He barely had enough time to grab his suitcase as they hurried off the bus, with Mabel nearly sending them both falling down the stairs onto the ground.
“Grunkle Stan!” she shouted, excited. Dipper wanted to warn her about getting ahead of herself–they hadn’t seen their great uncle in years after all. The last thing he wanted was for Mabel to embarrass them both in front of someone who could very well be a stranger. Not as if that would have stopped Mabel from tightly hugging the man’s leg anyway.
“Geez, kid,” he groaned, tapping his ear. “You wanna try that again a little quieter? You nearly busted my hearing aid out.”
“Oops, sorry!” Mabel dropped her voice down to a no-less enthusiastic whisper. “ Grunkle Staaaaan! It’s soooo good to see you! I love your silly hat! Did you get us welcome cupcakes? Oh wait, even better, are you gonna throw us a welcome party ? Exactly how many unicorns do you have at this Mystery Shack of yours? Are we gonna-”
“Alright, that’s enough of that,” Stan pried Mabel’s arms off his leg, gently shoving her away. “Don’t tell me she’s always like this, is she?” he asked Dipper.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Greaaaat…” Stan sighed, not even attempting a smile for either of them. Along the same vein, he made no effort to help either of them with their luggage as he turned to head off onto a trail cutting through the woods. “Well, I’m sure I’ve got some spare duct tape and a bottle of ibuprofen lyin’ around somewhere back at the shack to get me through the summer. And if that doesn’t work, I can always get some peace and quiet by sending you runts out into the woods to look for snipes or something stupid like that.” He stopped short, glancing back at the pair with what almost looked like concern. Even if it wasn’t exactly for either of them. “Say, your parents have insurance on both you kids, right? Just… just thought I’d ask. For no particular reason…”
Dipper and Mabel shared a shrug, which Stan mirrored as he continued leading the way into the forest. The twins exchanged an apprehensive look, neither of them too taken by the less-than-stellar impression their great uncle had left so far. “It’s… not too late to get back on the bus, is it?” Dipper ventured. He briefly turned back to the bus only to see it already starting to speed away without them.
“Guess it is,” Mabel quickly picked up a grin again. “Looks like we’re stuck here with Grunkle Stan aaaaaaall summer long!”
“If we manage to survive all summer long…” Dipper muttered, begrudgingly following his sister’s lead.
Stan didn’t say much on their short walk through woods, leading the twins to the very obvious conclusion that he didn’t have much experience interacting with kids. On top of that was the fact that Stan was already one of the most reclusive members of the wider Pines family in general. He never seemed to stray too far from his Oregonian tourist trap, rarely showing up for holidays, birthdays, or other family gatherings. Sure, they’d gotten the occasional card or phone call from him before, but they honestly couldn’t even remember the last time they saw him in person. Which is exactly why neither of them could really understand why their parents had asked Stan, of all their relatives, to watch them a summer of “fresh air in the great outdoors”.
If anything, the twins were even more confused when they finally caught sight of exactly what Stan was leading them to. On the other side of the short forest trail, there stood a sizable hut, with weathered wooden walls and a sloping, poorly-shingled roof. Moss and vines dotted the exterior along with more than enough signs and flags to point anyone in the tourist trap’s direction. The largest sign of all was perched on the roof, coated in discount yellow paint with bright, crimson letters proudly proclaiming this peculiar place as-
“The Mystery Shack!” Stan exclaimed, suddenly enthusiastic. He threw on a showman’s grin as he threw his arms out wide toward his abode, as if he were presenting it to a pair of tourists instead of his own niece and nephew. “The most mystical place this side of… well, anywhere! It’s chock full of ‘wonder’ and ‘magic’ and all that other stuff kids your age are probably into. So,” he rested his hands on his hips, grinning broadly. “What do ya little runts think? Go ahead, don’t be afraid to admit it. You’re impressed, right?”
“Oh my gosh! I know I am!” Mabel gasped. She grabbed Dipper by the arm, pulling his attention over to what had only just caught her eye. “Dipper, look at that !”
“Whoa…” Dipper was quick to catch his sister’s contagious awe when he saw it. In the distance not too far away from the Mystery Shack, there stood a tall, grassy hill. And, carved into the face of that hill was a massive statue. The statue depicted a woman, or least that was the twins’ best guess based on her abundant stony curls. She appeared to have two faces, one resting just above the other, with multiple arms, some broken, some not, raised into the air or curved around, oddly enough, a small, cozy, modern house. Despite that, the statue was nothing less than elegant and incredible as it towered high over the forest, as if it were silently watching the entire town from afar. Including the humble little ramshackle shack that rested in its shadow.
“Grunkle Stan, what is that thing?” Dipper asked the question both he and Mabel were thinking.
“Huh?” Stan glanced up at the statue. His smile vanished into a scowl the second he realized what the kids were so taken with. “Oh, that . It’s nothing either of you need to worry about. Let’s just leave it at that and never talk about it ever again, got it?”
“What?” Mabel protested. “But come on, Grunkle Stan! Just look at her! She’s so pretty! I love what she’s done with her hair!”
“If by ‘pretty’, you mean nothing more than an annoying eyesore that steals away all the photo-snapping tourists I could be getting rich off of instead, then sure , she’s ‘beautiful,” Stan rolled his eyes.
“Yo.” The twins started when someone else suddenly cut into the conversation. A large young man and a red-headed teen girl emerged onto the shack’s back porch, having overheard at least a little as they gave their two cents. “Are you dudes talking about the big statue on the hill? They say these three magical ladies live up there, protecting the town from monsters and stuff. No one sees them that much, but they’re basically like super cool-ninja guardians or whatever. Also,” he offered the twins a friendly smile, tipping his hat at them. “I’m Soos. Welcome to Gravity Falls, dudes.”
“Hiya!” Mabel waved up at him.
“‘Sup,” Dipper returned his easygoing grin.
“Tch, don’t listen to Soos,” the girl crossed her arms. “All that noise about ‘magical ladies’ is just some dumb rumor nerds who have way too much time on their hands like to spread around town.”
“It’s not a rumor,” Soos countered. “I read about it on this blog online, and as we all know, everything on the internet is 100% completely true.”
“Riiiiight… “the girl rolled her eyes before shooting the twins a cool grin of her own. “Well, anyway, the name’s Wendy. You’re Dipper and Mabel, right?” Her smile widened a touch as the twins nodded. “Nice to finally meet you both. Stan’s been pretty hype about you guys coming to hang here for the summer. He’s hardly shut up about it all week.”
“Hey, here’s a suggestion,” Stan shot his employees a flustered, aggravated glare. “Instead of wasting time yapping out here, why don’t you two get back to work? In fact…” he turned back to the twins. “Same goes for you two.”
“What? Work?” Dipper asked, confused.
“What does this place look like to you, kid, a hotel?” Stan grabbed the twins’ luggage and handed it over to Soos to take inside. “You wanna stay here this summer, you both gotta work . That’s pretty much the whole reason why I agreed to take you two in: I get two whole employees I don’t even have to pay! Plus, it’s not breaking any child labor laws if it's your family you’re putting to work.”
“Pretty sure it still is breaking at least some laws,” Wendy pointed out.
“Didn’t I tell you to get back to work?”
This time, Soos and Wendy did as their boss said. Wendy shrugged, offering the twins a playful wink before heading in after Soos as he toted the kids’ suitcases inside. Stan was just about to join them before his niece and nephew stopped him short.
“Aw, but Grunkle Stan, I don’t wanna work all summer,” Mabel whined, putting on a dramatic pout. “I wanna find an epic summer romance that’ll go down in history, just like in all of my favorite cheesy rom-coms!”
“Uh… yeah,” Dipper added as his gaze drifted back towards the hill. “And I wanna see what’s up with that statue and that whole ‘magical women’ thing. Even if it isn’t true, there’s gotta be something going on up there, right?”
“No, wrong,” Stan’s tone suddenly turned sharp and serious. After everything they’d seen from him so far, it was more than enough to catch both of the twins off guard. “There’s nothing up there for you to see, so stay the heck away from it. I mean it, I don’t want either of you kids going near that temple, you got it?”
“Temple?” the twins asked in curious unison.
Stan backpedaled as soon as he caught his own slip-up. “I-I didn’t say anything about a temple! I said temptation , yeah, that works. Don’t go near that temptation up there. Now, I don’t wanna hear any more buts about it except yours inside the shack to get your first shift started.” He practically shoved both of the twins towards the door, though they still spared one final glance at the mysterious statue behind them.
A statue that seemed to carry the promise of something, anything more interesting than the otherwise uneventful summer ahead of them.
The telltale flash of the warp pad signaled the Crystal Gems’ return from their latest mission. While they’d been successful, the argument that had sparked at the end of it was still going strong. Something that wasn’t very uncommon whenever Pearl and Amethyst happened to buck heads.
“Must you always be so careless, Amethyst?” Pearl scolded, frowning at the smaller Gem. “That monster nearly got away because of your recklessness!”
Amethyst groaned, pulling her head back. “Give it a rest already, P. It didn’t get away so I dunno what the big deal is. ‘Sides, at least I was having fun, unlike some other Gems.”
“Well,” Pearl scoffed, turning her nose up. “It’s a good thing I was there to reign you in, as usual.”
“Oh, please,” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “You didn’t even poof that thing. It was Garnet who-”
“That’s enough,” Garnet finally cut in. That was all it took to bring the squabble to an abrupt end as sudden calm filled the house in its place. At least until a small, knowing smile slipped onto Garnet’s face. “Nice try, Steven.”
A curly-haired head popped out from behind the wall between the house and the temple. “Aw, Garnet! How’d you know I was here?”
“Lucky guess,” Garnet said, shifting her shades.
“Yo, Steven!” Amethyst perked up, hopping off the warp pad. She pulled Steven into a loose head lock, giving him a playful noogie. “How goes it? Got any fun junk planned for today?”
Steven laughed as he pulled himself out of Amethyst’s hold. “Me and Connie are going down to the Mystery Shack. Can you guys believe she’s never been there before?”
“Yes,” Garnet crossed her arms.
“I just don’t understand what you find so fascinating about that place, Steven,” Pearl frowned. “You know we encounter so many more interesting things on a daily basis than anything that rundown old shack has to offer.”
“Aw, don’t be so boring , Pearl,” Amethyst teased. “The Mystery Shack has some freaky awesome stuff, right, Steven?”
“Yeah, like the sascrotch!”
“Er… yes, well…” Pearl looked away awkwardly. “Still, I’m not sure how I feel about you going down there all the time. Especially since its owner isn’t the most… trustworthy person.”
“What do you mean?” Steven asked, confused. “Mr. Pines is the best! One time, he gave me a half-eaten candy bar just to get me to leave the shack. What a swell guy!”
“How thoughtful,” Garnet deadpanned.
“I know, right?” Steven grinned, oblivious. No more than a moment later, a knock sounded at the front door. Steven didn’t hesitate to rush to answer it, a bright smile filling his face when he saw who was on the other side. “Connie!”
“Hey, Steven,” Connie laughed, charmed by his enthusiasm over the smallest of things. She was a bit surprised, however, when he pulled her into a sudden hug. They’d only just met a few weeks ago, and she was still getting used to just how forward and friendly Steven could often be. In fact, she only narrowly stifled the blush filling her face by the time Steven let her go. “Oh!” she only became even more flustered when she noticed the trio of Gems watching them from the far side of the house. “Um… hello-”
“Hello there, Connie!” Pearl returned, smiling cordially. Garnet offered her a cool, yet inviting grin while Amethyst waved to her. “Steven told us you two are headed down to that so-called “Mystery Shack” today,” Pearl’s smile faded slightly. “Are you sure you want to waste your time there though? None of the attractions there are actually, um… real , after all.”
“Oh, I already kinda figured that,” Connie laughed. “But I still want to check it out. Since my family only moved here a few weeks ago, I haven’t had a chance to check out any of the local attractions yet. And according to Steven, the Mystery Shack is the best one of them all.”
“It sure is!” Steven insisted. “It’s so cool , Connie! There’s stuff in there you have to see to believe!”
“Yeah, like the Outhouse of Mystery,” Amethyst chimed in, smirking.
“...Outhouse of Mystery?” Connie questioned.
“Yup,” Steven nodded. “It’s right next to the Bottomless Pit.”
“Interesting…” Connie mused, more intrigued than put off.
“Come on, let’s get going already!” Steven grabbed her hand, beside himself with excitement as he called back to the Gems. “See you guys later!”
“Now, be careful, you two!” Pearl cautioned. “Don’t get into any trouble down there!”
“But have fun,” Garnet added, smiling.
“Yeah, and say hi to Stan for me!” Amethyst grinned, throwing her arms behind her head.
“Will do!” Steven promised as he pulled Connie out onto the porch. There, Lion laid resting in the warmth of the summer sun, curled up into a cozy ball as he snoozed peacefully. His slumber wasn’t rouzed in the slightest as Steven hopped up onto his back, Connie climbing on more carefully soon after. “Come on, Lion!” Steven urged his pink pet. “You’ve gotta wake up so we can have a great time down at the Mystery Shack!”
Ever the stubborn feline, Lion didn’t even crack an eye open. Instead, he rolled over, sending both kids slipping off his back and onto the porch. “Oooookay, then,” Steven frowned as he sat up. “I guess we’ll go when Lion wakes up from his nap.”
“That’s fine,” Connie assured, laughing. “I have all day to hang out now that it's summer vacation.”
“Summer… huh?” Steven raised an eyebrow.
“You know, when school lets out for the summer?” Connie explained.
“I’ve never been to this–how do you say–’school’ before,” Steven mused, curious. “What is it?”
“Wait, you’ve never been to school?” Connie asked, even more baffled when Steven shook his head. She already knew his upbringing was unconventional to say the least–the fact that he lived with the Gems was more than proof enough of that. But to think he’d missed out on an experience as universal as school was downright bewildering. “Uh… ok, well, why don’t I explain it to you while we wait for Lion to wake up?”
“Ok!” Steven agreed. “And once he does, it's off to the Mystery Shack we go!”
Connie nodded, chuckling as she started from the beginning. All the while, neither of the kids noticed the many sets of tiny eyes peering up at them from the shrubs surrounding the base of the temple. Tiny eyes belonging to tiny shadows all waiting for just the right moment to launch their massive master plan.
Stan had given the twins a whistle stop tour of the shack, including the dusty attic that would serve as their room for the summer. While Mabel was fascinated by all of the bizarre exhibits the shack’s museum had on display, Dipper saw right through them for the obvious fabrications they all were. He already hadn’t been expecting much from Stan, but as he proudly showcased ridiculous taxidermied creations like the “grizzlycorn” or the “roostdeer”, it became more than clear. Their great uncle was a fraudster, a charlatan, a conman in just about every sense of the word.
When Dipper decided to call Stan out on it, he simply shrugged, unbothered by such an accusation. If anything, he seemed to thrive off of duping the simple-minded saps who willingly walked through the shack’s door, easily convincing them that everything they saw there was 100% real. Dipper and Mabel only got to witness a bit of that firsthand before Stan put them to work within an hour or so of their arrival. He handed them a stack of signs and told them to hang them up around the woods surrounding the shack to draw more customers in. A simple task that should have only taken a matter of minutes.
But as they’d soon find out, it was going to be the start of so much more than either of them could have ever imagined.
“Wow, Dipper!” Mabel grinned as she adjusted the stack of signs in her arms. “Wasn’t it super nice of Grunkle Stan to let us help him redecorate?”
“We’re just putting up signs, Mabel,” Dipper frowned as he hung up the first one to one of the porch’s beams. “And he’s not ‘letting’ us do anything. Just like how he won’t let us check out that weird temple on the hill. There’s something suspicious about that place, I can feel it. If only we could get just a little closer to figure out what’s up with it…”
“Hm… oh!” Mabel gasped, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “I’ve got an idea! What if we hurry and put up these signs really fast? Then we can sneak off and go see the giant statue lady and be back before Stan even realizes we’re gone!”
“That’s… actually a pretty great idea,” Dipper admitted.
“I know! I’m full of ‘em,” Mabel said with a proud grin. “So, let’s split up and get to it, bro-bro!”
“Right,” Dipper agreed as they parted ways.
While Mabel went off further into the woods near the shack, Dipper began hanging up signs in the area closer to the statue. He rarely took his eyes off of it as he absently hammered signs to trees, curiosity practically eating away at him all the while. For all he knew, the so-called temple could be nothing more than some old monument or historical landmark or even shameless another tourist trap like the Mystery Shack. But Dipper couldn’t help but feel like there was more to it than that. He’d always considered himself to be a fan of mysteries–even if the only ones he’d ever experienced were in books or movies. But now, a real-life mystery stood only a short walk up the hill ahead, one he couldn’t wait to solve.
But as he soon discovered, that wasn’t the only mystery hidden away on that hill.
Despite Stan’s earlier warnings, Dipper ventured off of the shack’s property lines, inching more toward the temple hill instead. He continued hanging up signs as he stared at the statue, until he happened to hit his hammer against one tree in particular. Its bark made an odd, unnatural banging sound, as if it were made of metal, and upon feeling its surface out for himself, Dipper realized that was exactly the case.
After wiping away a long-settled layer of dust, he found that a small panel had been built into the tree. It took a bit of a struggle, but with the help of his hammer, he managed to pry it open. Inside the small compartment was an old mechanical box with a few buttons and a rusted switch. Intrigued, Dipper fiddled with a few of them, though only the switch actually worked. As soon as he flipped it, the grassy ground just a few feet behind him suddenly shifted, with the patch of earth giving way to reveal the small dugout hidden underneath it.
“What the…?” he wondered to himself as he approached the shallow hole. Laying at the bottom of it, covered in decades’ worth of cobwebs and dust was, of all things, a book.
After sparing an apprehensive glance around, Dipper carefully pulled the book out of its hiding spot, wiping the dust away to get a better look at it. Its weathered, burgundy cover bore a shining gold six-fingered hand, with only a number three to mark whatever it was supposed to be. He didn’t get any more concrete answers when he creaked the old tome open, only to find a pastedown reading “Property of-” with the owner’s name torn clean off. Fortunately, when he turned to the first page, he quickly found there was much more to this mysterious book than met the eye.
“It’s hard to believe it’s been six years since I began researching the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon,” Dipper read aloud before turning the page. His eyes widened as he flipped through descriptions and vivid illustrations of all sorts of bizarre, otherworldly creatures. From giant vampire bats, to floating eyeballs, crystalline creatures, massive monsters, and even things as silly as living gnomes, each new page detailed something new and odd and unbelievable, all apparently living right here in Gravity Falls.
“What is all this…?” Dipper muttered, awash in awe as he continued leafing through the journal. He stopped short when he reached a page written in frantic,uneven script, a stark contrast to how the rest of the book appeared to be. The entry it carried fit its style, an anxious, almost manic message to any reader who may happen upon it.
“Unfortunately, my suspicions are confirmed. I’m being watched. I must hide this book before HE finds it. I can only hope she’ll understand and be willing to help me one final time. Remember: in Gravity Falls, there is no one you can trust.”
As if that wasn’t already ominous enough, the unknown author capped his last entry off with one final warning that left Dipper with even more questions than he already had. And with just how outright strange this journal claimed the town could be, he found himself starting to wonder if that warning may actually hold some weight after all.
“TRUST NO ONE!”
Mabel hummed brightly to herself as she skipped through the edge of the woods, pinning up signs every few trees apart. Though Stan had told her and Dipper to spread them out, she figured she’d get the job done much quicker this way. And with something as alluringly exciting as that alleged temple waiting for them at the end of this task, she had every reason to hurry.
She didn’t exactly share her brother’s suspicions about something cryptic or mysterious happening at the temple. While Dipper had a habit of going overboard with distrustful conspiracies, Mabel leaned more on the side of looking at things through a fun and fantastical lens. Maybe that’s why the rumor Soos had mentioned about “magical women” appealed so much to her. She pictured a group of super heroines in sparkling capes, flying in to save the town with their hair flowing, hearts blazing, and hands outstretched to any aspiring girls who may want to join them. Girls just like her who dreamed of adventure, romance, and a summer unlike any other.
As caught up as she was with wistfully imagining it all, she didn’t even notice the small obstacle in her path until she tripped clean over it. The signs fell out of her hands as she tumbled to the ground, her long hair falling over her face. “Oof,” she flipped her hair back, looking around. “Can’t let myself get tripped up like that again. I’ll never get to be a super cool magical lady if I’m clumsy .”
She spared a short glance over her shoulder, only to find exactly what she’d tripped over. “Oh, cute!” she stood, walking over to the tiny, toppled over man. “It’s one of those silly little garden gnomes! Weird, Grunkle Stan doesn’t peg me for the kinda guy who would be into kitschy yarn ornaments, but I’m not complaining! Now,” she reached down to pick up what she assumed was nothing more than a ceramic statue. “Let’s get you back over to the shack, little guy–ah!”
Mabel quickly dropped the gnome when she realized it wasn’t made of glass, but of cloth and hair and skin instead. She stumbled back, even more alarmed when the gnome stood up on its own and spoke only a single word that echoed through the surrounding woods:
“Schmebulock!”
“Wha-” Mabel didn’t even have time to get the full word out before the ambush began. She only barely spotted several more gnomes emerging from the nearby trees, racing toward her from all directions. Before she could even make an attempt at running, something covered her head as what she could only assume were ropes latched around her arms and legs. Within seconds, she was on the ground, effectively trapped as the gnomes worked together to hoist her up into the air and haul her away.
“W-whoa! Stop!” she shouted, though her voice was muffled through the sack over her head. She tried struggling out of her binds, but the gnomes had tied her up surprisingly tightly. “This isn't funny, you guys! Lemme go! Dipper!” she yelled for her brother at the top of her lungs, hoping he’d somehow hear her. Because if he couldn’t come to her rescue, then really, who else would? “Help!”
“And so, every summer, we all get several months off before we do it all again in the fall,” Connie finally finished her lengthy explanation of all things school-related. “Does that make sense?”
Steven sat in silence a moment, trying to grasp a concept that, by all accounts, was completely foreign to him. He couldn’t deny that he felt a little overwhelmed by everything Connie had told him–but she was so smart that he often felt like that any time she told him about something new. Not that he minded too much; he liked listening to whatever she had to say, even if it sometimes went a little over his head. “Uh… yeah, I think so… But what about-”
He stopped short when he heard a sudden clamor coming from inside the house. Connie caught onto it too as she looked past Steven, frowning. “Uh… what’s that?”
“Probably just Amethyst raiding the fridge again,” Steven shrugged. He jumped, however, when a sudden crash rattled from inside the kitchen. “Or… maybe not. I should probably go check. Be right back!”
Steven hopped off Lion and hurried inside. Almost immediately, he was met with a startling sight in the kitchen. His cabinets were all wide open, food strewn all over the floor and even more spilling out thanks to the tiny horde trying to steal from him. A horde Steven recognized all too well.
“Gnomes!” he exclaimed, startling the miniature men stiff. “What are you guys doing in here? I thought Pearl gnome-proofed the temple the last time you guys broke in.”
“We snuck in through the floorboards!” one of the gnomes replied, popping out of the microwave.
Sure enough, there was a gaping hole in the living room floor. Steven only briefly regarded it before he turned back to the gnomes, waving a disapproving finger at them. “You all know better than this! I’ve told you a bunch of times by now: stealing food out of other people’s kitchens is wrong!”
None of the gnomes responded, instead exchanging a brief glance before they collectively decided to ignore him. Instead, they kept on sorting through his food, happily snacking away on chips and fruit and everything in between. “Alright, that’s it,” Steven huffed. “I’m grabbing the broom.”
The gnomes erupted into a round of frightened protest as soon as they heard this. “No!” “Not the broom!” “I’m still picking straw outta my beard!”
“Then stop stealing my food!” Steven argued, broom already in hand. “I’ll just give you guys some if you ask nicely.”
An awkward beat of silence passed, and though the more polite option was the easier one, the gnomes didn’t bother taking it. “Nah.” “No way.” “Forget that.”
“Hey, fellas!” Another gnome suddenly poked his head in from the front door. “Forget about the food! It’s time to roll–we got her!”
“Huh?” Steven was knocked clean off his feet as the gnomes vaulted past him out the door, leaving his kitchen in a chaotic state. Not that it mattered to him much when he heard a frighteningly familiar scream pierce the air from just outside.
“Steven!”
“Connie!?” Steven jumped up, rushing outside. To his alarm, Connie was no longer sitting atop Lion where he’d left her. Instead, his pink pet was staring off down the porch steps, to where Connie was currently being dragged off by even more gnomes. In just the short amount of time Steven had stepped away for, they’d tied her up and stolen her glasses. Steven noticed only one gnome remained, wearing said glasses as he ran into the nearby banister over and over again.
“Hey! Those aren’t yours!” He snatched them away from the gnome, who merely hissed at him before running off to rejoin the others.
“Steven! Help!” Connie called for him again. The confused fear in her voice alone shook Steven as it prompted him into action, especially when he watched the gnomes disappear into the woods with her in tow.
“D-don’t worry, Connie!” he shouted after her as he climbed onto Lion’s back. “I’m coming for you! Let’s go, Lion!” he commanded boldly. “After those food-and-Connie-stealing gnomes!”
This time, Lion actually heeded his command. He roared valiantly as he leapt off the porch, with Steven holding on tight as he sprinted off toward the forest below. Little did he know, someone else not too far away was already doing the exact same thing for almost the exact same reason.
“Help!”
Fortunately, Mabel’s voice always carried extremely well. Dipper was still leafing through the journal when he heard her cry for help ring out from across the woods. “Mabel?!” he shouted back. When he didn’t hear her answer him, his stomach dropped with newfound concern. “Mabel!” he tried again, slamming the journal shut and tucking it inside his vest. There’d be plenty of time to continue looking over it later, after his sister was safe.
Without a second thought or a moment of delay, he ran past the shack, not even bothering to get Stan, Soos, or Wendy in the process. Instead, he rushed off alone into the woods, finding no sign of Mabel to speak of. What he did find were several sets of footsteps leading further into the forest, footsteps that were way too small to belong to his sister.
“Ooooh no, oh man, this is bad– really bad…” he began to pace, quickly spiraling into a panic. “We’ve only been here for a few hours and Mabel is already missing! What am I supposed to-”
He stopped himself, peering into his vest where the journal was safely secured. Even if he didn’t have the answers, certainly a book as extensive about everything this bizarre town had to offer could . “O-ok, then,” Dipper continued talking to himself as he pressed on into the woods. It was just about the only thing he could do to keep himself even remotely calm right now. “All I gotta do is go find Mabel and save her from… something armed with nothing but an old book. There’s no way this could end badly, right?” He answered his own question as he opened the journal again, burying his attention inside of it as he rushed through the forest at a quick clip. “Yeah, this is totally gonna end badly…”
As distracted with the journal as he was, Dipper paid little attention to where he was going, only occasionally glancing up to make sure he didn’t run into a tree along the way. The journal offered few answers, or if it did, he had no clue where to find them within its pages. The longer his desperate search through it continued, the more he began to realize he was getting no closer to what he was actually searching for: Mabel. Instead, he was simply running around the woods, completely directionless and hopeless. And even worse yet, completely alone .
Or at least, he was… until he ran into someone who could actually help him. Literally.
While Dipper was still frantically flipping through the journal’s pages, he didn’t notice the large pink blur dashing through the woods ahead of him until it was too late. All he heard was a deep, fearsome growl before something plowed into him, knocking him clean off his feet. He clung onto the journal, keeping it clutched close to his chest, especially when he looked up and saw exactly what had managed to pin him down.
It was a lion–large and powerful and oddly pink as it hovered over him, its teeth bared as glared down at its unfortunate catch with a menacing snarl. As soon as he processed exactly what he was looking at, Dipper let out a frightened yelp, covering his face with the journal just in case the lion decided to strike. Thankfully, that didn’t happen as someone else intervened just in time.
“Lion! Cut that out! We don’t have time to play around right now, we’ve gotta save Connie!”
“H-huh?” Dipper peeked out from underneath the journal, confused. The lion still had him trapped and still looked ready to rip him to shreds at any moment. But he didn’t, if only because of the boy peering down at him from the big cat’s back with a look of apologetic concern.
“Oh my gosh, are you ok?” he asked. He didn’t give Dipper a chance to answer before he scowled down at the pink beast beneath him, annoyed. “Lion, get off of him already!” The lion didn’t budge, at least not until the boy scolded him again. “Lioooon…”
The beast huffed, backing off at long last. As soon as he was free, Dipper scrambled to his feet, backing away from the big cat fearfully. “That’s… an actual lion …” he muttered, still in disbelief.
“He sure is!” the boy mustered a smile as he patted the lion’s side.
“And he’s pink ,” Dipper stressed, bewildered.
“I know,” the boy chuckled. “Isn’t he cool?”
“A-and he’s yours ?”
“Yup!”
“How…?”
“Oh, well it’s a really neat story,” the boy said, though his smile quickly fell. “But I don’t have time to tell it. I’ve gotta go find my friend Connie. Y’see, she was kidnapped by a bunch of gnomes and I-”
“Wait, did you say gnomes ?” Dipper interrupted. The sheer strangeness of such a statement should have been what caught him off guard, but it wasn’t. Instead, it was something he remembered catching a glimpse of in the journal. He flipped through it as quickly as he could, finding exactly what he was looking for as he turned the book over to show the boy. “You mean these things?”
“Oh, yeah, that’s them!” the boy nodded. “That’s a cool book you have there. Where’d you find it?”
“...That’s not important right now,” Dipper quickly shut the book, hiding it back inside his vest. “What is important is that I think those gnomes may have ran off with my sister too.”
“Oh no!” the boy gasped, genuinely alarmed. “Well, then we ought to team up to save her and Connie. Hurry, hop on!”
Dipper flinched, warily eyeing Lion as he shot him another bitter glare. “You mean… get on the lion?”
“Uh… yeah?”
“Are you serious?”
“Oh, don’t worry! Lion won’t bite!” the boy assured. “...Probably. B-but it’s ok, I promise!” He held a hand out to Dipper, wearing a warm, encouraging smile all the while. “Don’t you trust me?”
“I don’t even know who you are,” Dipper pointed out dryly.
“Oh, uh, right,” the boy rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “My name’s Steven. What’s yours?”
“...Dipper,” he replied a bit stiffly.
“Nice to meet you, Dipper!” Steven’s already friendly grin widened as he held his hand out again. “So now that we actually know each other… What do you say? Do you trust me now ?”
Dipper hesitated, looking between Steven and the hand he was offering to him. Briefly, the journal’s haunting warning echoed through his mind, cautioning against trusting anyone in this town. He already wasn’t the most trustful person to begin with, but how could he possibly extend what little trust he did have in him to a boy he barely knew, riding a pink lion through the woods? It was ridiculous, completely and utterly ridiculous. That’s exactly why he was more than ready to turn Steven down, to turn around and continue his search entirely on his own, except…
Except when he met the kind, soft, sincere smile Steven was sending his way once more, a smile so much like his own sister’s that it nearly hurt him to think about it… Dipper just couldn’t find it in him to say no.
“I… y-yeah, I guess I do,” he agreed, slowly taking Steven’s hand. The other boy’s eyes lit up with excitement as he helped hoist Dipper up to take a seat on Lion’s back behind him.
“Alright, we’re officially a team now! And a totally awesome one at that!” Steven cheered, nudging Lion back into motion. “So let’s go find those gnomes! Together!”
“Ok, so, how fast does this thing–” Dipper cut himself off with a shriek as Lion suddenly bolted forward. He had no choice but to cling onto Steven just to keep himself from falling off altogether. Steven couldn’t help but laugh as he glanced back to check on him, stirring up a conversation even despite the dire quest they were on.
“I’ve never seen you around here before,” he began. “Are you and your sister new in town?”
“Um, sort of?” Dipper said. “We’re just staying here with our great uncle for the summer. We actually just got here this morning.”
“Wow! Well, welcome to Gravity Falls!” Steven brightly exclaimed. “How are you liking it here so far?”
“I’m riding on the back of a pink lion to go rescue my sister from a pack of crazy, kidnapping gnomes,” Dipper replied dryly. “How do you think I feel about it?”
“You… love it?” Steven put forth an earnest guess.
Dipper rolled his eyes, though he still decided to venture a question of his own. “So, uh, what’s up with the lion, exactly?”
“Oh, yeah,” Steven leaned forward to scratch Lion’s ear as he continued running through the woods at a rapid pace. “I found him a few months ago out in the desert. He’s been my best buddy ever since.”
“The… desert?” Dipper asked, confused. “I get that this town is kinda weird, but there’s no way there’s a desert hidden somewhere out here… is there?”
“Oh, no,” Steven laughed. “I was out in the actual desert on a mission with the Gems.”
“The Gems?”
“Yeah! Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and me!” Steven proudly proclaimed. “We go on all sorts of magical adventures and fight monsters and protect humanity and stuff.”
“Uh… right…” Dipper cringed before muttering to himself. “And I thought Mabel had an overactive imagination… yeesh…”
“What was that?” Steven glanced back at him, smiling.
“Uh, n-nothing,” Dipper looked away, suddenly flustered for reasons he couldn’t quite place. Still, talk of mysterious lions and so-called ‘Gems’ aside, he couldn’t help but continue to be curious about the strange boy sitting in front of him. He felt like there was something more to him than there appeared to be, something different, though he had no idea what that something was. As far as he was concerned, Steven was very quickly turning into yet another mystery, alongside all of the others this town seemed to be secretly brimming with.
And that mystery, perhaps more than any other he’d encountered so far, was one he was determined to somehow solve.
By the time Mabel finally managed to shake the sack off her head, she found herself in a completely different place than the forest she’d been taken from. The low walls of a moss-covered cave surrounded her, though strangely enough, none of her gnome captors were anywhere in sight. In fact, she appeared to be entirely alone–save for the girl sitting right next to her, tied up every bit as tightly as she was.
“Whoa my gosh!” Mabel gasped. She immediately began to struggle against the tight ropes binding her all over again, wanting to help the other girl as much as herself. “Are you ok? Did those creepy little gnome guys kidnap you too?”
“Uh… yeah?” the girl glanced around, or at least she tried to. A sack still covered her head, completely covering her field of vision–not that she would have been able to see much anyway without her glasses. “Who said that?”
“Oh, it’s me, Mabel!” she greeted brightly. “What’s your name?”
“Connie,” the other girl introduced herself much less enthusiastically. “Um, if it's not too much trouble, could you help me get this thing off my head?”
“Well… I would if I could, but I’m sorta tied up at the moment–literally!” Mabel’s attempt at humor was largely lost on Connie, given their worrisome situation. “Just throw your head back really hard–that’s how I got mine off.”
“So… risk potential whiplash then,” Connie frowned under her sack. “I guess if there’s no other options…” She did as Mabel said, tossing her head back a few times until the sack finally shimmied off. The world around her was still mostly an unfocused blur, but she did manage to make out the vague pink-clad shape sitting a few feet away from her that must have been Mabel.
“There ya go!” she offered the other girl a cheerful smile. “Isn’t that way better?”
“It would be if I could actually see anything,” Connie said, squinting. “I lost my glasses when those, uh, ‘gnomes’ grabbed me.”
“Aw, that’s no good,” Mabel huffed, indigent as she pulled against her ropes once again. “Those gnomes are total pests! I wonder why they brought us both here anyway…”
“Great question, sweetie!”
The girls turned toward the mouth of the cave, where the gnomes were flooding back in from wherever they’d gone to. One gnome led the front of the pack, flashing a broad, satisfied smile as he looked between their captives before turning back to the others. “I gotta say, great job, fellas! Not just one, but two brides-to-be, all in one day? That’s a new record!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on,” Connie interrupted. She was only barely able to make out the multitude of beards and red cone hats before them. “Brides-to-be? What’s that supposed to mean?”
‘Oh, don’t worry, we’ll get to that,” the head gnome assured. “Let’s get introductions out of the way first. The name’s Jeff!” he proclaimed before rattling off the names of several of the gnomes standing nearby. “We also have Carson, Kyle, Jason, Tom, Pete, Andy, Mike, and, uh… I’m sorry, I always forget your name.”
“Schmebulock!” the gnome in question answered.
Jeff snapped his fingers. “Schmebulock, yeah! And then there’s–you know what, forget it. You’ll both have plenty of time to learn everyone else’s names later. Ya’see, ladies, us gnomes are lookin’ for a new queen! Right, guys?”
“Queen! Queen! Queen!” the gnomes cheered their uproarious support.
“Heh, ok? Cute, I guess?” Mabel let out an uncomfortable laugh. Likewise, Connie was already starting to get the jist of what was happening here, and she was every bit as unnerved by it. “So… what’s that have to do with either of us?”
“Soooo glad you asked!” Jeff threw on a coy grin. He was the first to drop to one knee, and all of the other gnomes followed suit as he pulled a large diamond ring out and presented it to the girls. “Would one–or both, we’re pretty open-minded–of you ladies join us in holy matri-gnome-y? Matri- mony, blah! Can’t talk today!”
A long, awkward beat of silence filled the cave in the aftermath of this proposal, only broken by Connie as she bluntly stated the obvious. “This is extremely weird.”
“Uh… yeah, I’m with Connie on that,” Mabel frowned. Still, she tried her best to turn the gnomes down as gently as possible. “Look, outside of the whole kidnapping thing, you guys seem kinda sweet, but… we’re girls and you’re gnomes and it’s like ‘what?’ Yikes…”
“So the answer is obviously no,” Connie continued, much less sympathetically. “With all that out of the way, could you all untie us and let us go and we can all pretend this whole thing never happened? Or-”
“Oh, sorry! No can do,” Jeff laughed. There was a clear, unhinged edge to it this time as he continued fixing the girls with a patronizing grin. “See, we really need at least one queen and we already went through so much trouble to kidnap you both so it's gotta be one of you. Oh, hey, here’s an idea! Why don’t we have you both fight to the death to decide which one it’s gonna be? That’d be fun, right?”
“Yeah!” The gnomes quickly rallied behind such a violent idea. “Fight! Fight! Fight!”
As morbid as such a suggestion was, it sparked a sudden idea for Mabel, especially when she stole another look at the surprisingly sharp ring Jeff was still holding onto. “You know what?” she spoke up, putting on the most convincing smile she could. “Fine. I’ll marry you guys.”
“Huh?” Connie started, caught off guard. “What are you doing?”
“I’ve got a plan,” she whispered just loud enough for the other girl to hear her. “Trust me.”
Connie didn’t know anything about Mabel other than her name–she had yet to even see the other girl’s face clearly as half-blind as she currently was. To place her trust in someone who was essentially a stranger, to rely on someone she’d only just met to help get her out of such a drastic situation… It was an overwhelming thought. But then Connie realized: she’d done the exact same thing the very day she’d met Steven just a few short weeks ago. Why couldn’t she do the same for Mabel too?
So, instead of letting worry overtake her as it so often did, Connie simply nodded, letting Mabel put whatever plan she had into action. “Hot dog!” Jeff happily exclaimed. “Go ahead and untie her, boys. She can’t carry a bouquet with her hands behind her back, now can she?”
The other gnomes did as they were told, freeing Mabel from her ropes, though strangely, they made no effort to do the same for Connie. Still sticking to her plan, Mabel smiled as she politely put her hand out, allowing Jeff to slip the ring onto her finger.
“Bada-bing, bada-bam!” he cheered as the other gnomes erupted into excited applause. “One down, one potentially still to go. You sure you don’t want in on this, honey?” he peered past Mabel to smirk at Connie. “We only had one ring, but we can always fix you up with a really shiny-lookin’ caterpillar or something-”
“You may now kiss the bride!” Mabel cut him off, her tone deceptively inviting.
“Well,” Jeff perked up, turning back to her. “Don’t mind if I do!”
The head gnome closed his eyes and puckered his lips for the kiss… only to receive a first slamming hard into his nose instead. “Ow! Ouch!” he collapsed backward into the crowd of gnomes behind him, “Seriously, ow ! What the-”
As distracted as they all were by this sudden twist, the gnomes largely missed Mabel running over to Connie. She used the sharp gem on her ring to quickly cut through the ropes tying the other girl down, finally freeing her as she lent a hand to help her up.
“Thanks!” Connie breathed a sigh of relief.
“Don’t mention it,” Mabel grinned. Her smile quickly fell when she took stock of the suddenly very angry horde of gnomes surrounding them. “Seriously, don’t mention it until we actually make it out of here…”
“What do we do now…?” Connie asked anxiously. The gnomes were already starting to inch in to restrain them again, essentially leaving both girls trapped back-to-back with no real way out in sight.
“Um… oh!” Mabel quickly grabbed the only thing in her range. It was a large, sturdy stick, one that she quickly handed off to Connie to arm her for the inevitable fray. “We’ll just have to fight our way through ‘em!”
“B-but I can barely see, remember?” Connie gripped the stick tightly, nervously.
“I’ll be your eyes then!” Mabel grinned back at her. “Just swing where I tell you to.”
“...Ok,” Connie agreed. After all, despite her unconventional ideas, Mabel hadn’t really steered her wrong yet.
“Get them!” Jeff ordered, still nursing his sore nose. With this command, the gnomes lept into action, and so did the girls. Still armed with the ring, Mabel began throwing punches, using the sharp stone to land more than a few heavy blows. At the same time, she made sure to keep Connie covered, calling out directions for her to swing her branch in.
“Left!” she yelled above the din of the brawl. Connie swung her stick as if it were a sword, plowing it into a gnome that tried to knock her off her feet.
“Right!” Mabel’s next direction came just in time for Connie to ram her branch into several gnomes all at once.
“Straight up!” She warned against the gnome that tried getting the jump on them both from above. Connie spiked it away from them with ease, leaving Mabel thoroughly impressed.
“Wow, Connie! You’re really good at this!”
“Thanks,” Connie smiled between heavy breaths. “I play tennis. This is… kinda like that. Ok, it’s not really, but still. Where’d you learn how to fight, Mabel?”
“... I dunno how to fight, silly,” Mabel shrugged as she threw her fist into another gnome’s face.
“Uh… ok, then…” Connie raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced.
There wasn’t much time for more talk as the gnomes kept coming, seemingly without end, forcing their focus onto the ongoing brawl. This was the chaotic scene Steven and Dipper arrived to find when they finally reached the gnomes’ hideout deep within the woods. As ready as they both were to charge in to save the girls, they ultimately stopped short in shock when they realized the girls were already in the midst of saving themselves.
“Whoa…” Steven’s jaw dropped in awe as he watched the girls hold their own against the gnome army. “Is that your sister?”
“I… think so?” Dipper was just as surprised as he watched Mabel punch a gnome back several feet away from her. “Mabel?”
“Dipper!” Mabel grinned, waving at him between punches. “It’s about time you showed up!” She paused, only very briefly when she noticed the boy standing alongside her brother. “Oh! Did you make a cool new friend too?”
“Yeah!” Steven caught Dipper off guard, throwing an arm around his shoulder. “Hi! You must be Mabel; Dipper’s already told me all about you. I’m Steven!”
“Steven!?” Connie gasped, unable to see him clearly in the distance.
“Connie!” Steven called back, relieved to see she was alright. Even if he was a bit taken aback when he watched her whack a gnome upside the head with her stick. “Wait, why are you guys beating up the gnomes anyway? I know they kidnapped you and everything, but… don’t you think all this is a little, uh… violent?”
“They tried to force us to marry them!” Connie huffed, indignant.
“And they wouldn’t take no for an answer,” Mabel added just as bitterly. “I know I was hoping for an epic romance this summer but not like this .”
“Oh, d-don’t listen to them!” Jeff hurried over to the boys with a forced, easygoing laugh. “This is all just one big misunderstanding. Neither of them are in any sort of danger. They agreed to marry all one thousand of us to become our new co-queens for all eternity. Right, sweeties?”
“As if!” Connie shot back fiercely.
“You guys are butt-faces!” Mabel yelled, kicking a gnome off her leg.
“Ok, that’s it,” Dipper cut in, sternly staring the head gnome down. “Let them both go, or else!”
“Y-yeah!” Steven added, before whispering to Dipper. “Or else what?”
“I don’t know,” Dipper shrugged. “I’m making things up as I go along.”
“You boys think you can stop us?” Jeff challenged. He hopped up onto a nearby stone to give himself an intimidating bit of extra height, though both Steven and Dipper were still a good bit taller all the same. “You have no idea what we’re capable of! The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-”
He was abruptly silenced when Dipper used another discarded stick to gently shove him off his rock. The rest of the gnomes were shocked by such a clear show of disrespect toward their leader, giving Mabel and Connie the opportunity they were looking for to finally give them the slip.
“This way!” Steven urged everyone to follow him out of the cave. “Hurry!”
While Dipper and Mabel easily began to make their escape, Connie had a bit more trouble as she tripped over a stray root, her vision still largely muddled. Steven ran to her side, helping her up as he pulled something out of his pocket before handing it over to her.
“I believe these belong to you,” he smiled as he helped her put her glasses back on.
“You found them!” she exclaimed, overjoyed to be able to see the world clearly again. “Thanks, Steven!”
“Thank me later,” Steven grabbed her hand when he noticed the gnomes beginning to give chase behind them. “We’ve gotta go!”
By the time they reached the cave’s exit, the twins were already there. And of course, the moment Mabel so much as caught her first glimpse of the pastel pink lion awaiting the group, she could scarcely begin to contain her excitement. “Oh. My. GOSH!” she squealed, ignoring her brother’s warning as she rushed over to the big cat. “This lion is PINK!” Without a single ounce of fear to speak of, she hugged Lion tightly, burying her face in his bright, thick mane. “And he’s so SOFT too! I must be dreaming because how can anything this cute actually be real?!”
“Ok, Mabel, can you freak out over the lion after we’re safe from the band of bloodthirsty gnomes?” Dipper practically had to pull her away from the beast.
“Aw, but look at him!” Mabel continued scratching Lion under the chin, garnering a deep purr from the big cat. “He’s just a sweet little baby!”
“That ‘sweet little baby’ almost mauled me in the woods earlier,” Dipper pointed out, deadpan.
“Yeah… but like I said, he totally didn’t mean it!” Steven chimed in as he and Connie arrived. “Oh, by the way, Connie, this is Dipper, Mabel’s brother. And Dipper, this is my friend Connie. And now we all know each other! Hooray!”
“Nice to meet you,” Connie chuckled as she held a hand out for Dipper to shake.
“Yeah,” he returned, mustering a small smile. “If only it wasn’t under the most insane circumstances imaginable.”
“Uh, speaking of insane,” Mabel paled when she turned back toward the cave. “We should probably get going!”
Sure enough, the gnomes were all racing to catch up with them, determined to reclaim their pair of “queens”. Steven didn’t hesitate to hop back up onto Lion, encouraging everyone else to do the same. “Come on!”
Though they all had to press in close, somehow, all four of them managed to fit on Lion’s back. The beast briefly struggled under so much weight, but he still stood fast, bolting off into the woods upon Steven’s command.
“Woo!” Mabel yelled, exhilarated as they rushed through the woods. “Ok, this day just went from totally weird to totally amazing ! Two new friends and a ride on a pretty pink lion?! It almost makes up for being kidnapped by a bunch of creepy gnomes! Almost.”
“They won’t be able to catch up to us, will they?” Connie glanced back, concerned.
“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Dipper assured, smirking. “Did you see their little legs? Those suckers are tiny .”
He was quickly proven wrong, however, when the forest floor suddenly began to tremble underneath them. Lion skidded to an abrupt stop as a towering shadow rose over the trees, allowing the kids to see exactly what tactic the gnomes had taken to catch them. The entire horde had come together, stacking on top of each other to create a huge, hulking amalgamation, fueled by the sheer anger of hundreds upon hundreds of vengeful gnomes.
“Uh oh…” Mabel muttered, her eyes wide with fear.
“I-it’s a super gnome !” Steven cried as the monster’s massive first rushed down at them. Lion pounced out of the way just in time, rushing into the trees as the gnomes who were scattered from the blow scrambled to rejoin the rest of the collective.
From the very top of the super gnome, Jeff held his post, calling the shots as he shouted a furious threat toward the fleeing group of kids. “Give us back our queens!”
Despite this, Lion didn’t slow down in the slightest, narrowly evading the super gnome as it launched several live projectiles at his passengers. The kids had no choice but to duck, lest they be struck by the gnomes’ surprisingly sharp hats. When one of them managed to grab onto Lion’s long tail, Mabel shook him off, while Steven shoved one who had landed in Lion’s mane away.
“Sorry!” he called as the gnome landed roughly on the forest floor behind them.
“We need to go somewhere we can get away from them,” Connie said, wincing as another gnome flew by only inches away from her face. “Somewhere we can hide.”
“The Mystery Shack!” Mabel readily suggested. “Maybe Grunkle Stan has some ‘gnome-be-gone’ we can spray on these guys to get rid of them once and for all!”
“Grunkle Stan?” Steven echoed, confused. “Wait, do you mean Mr. Pines? Mr. Pines is your great uncle?!” he gasped, awestruck. “That’s so cool ! Dipper, why didn’t you tell me that earlier?”
“Didn’t really find the time to bring it up between going on a rescue mission and running for our lives, Steven,” Dipper retorted.
“If that’s where we’re headed, we better hurry!” Connie warned. All four of the kids were caught off guard when one of the super gnome’s hands veered in close toward them. Once again, Lion dodged it, running as fast as his paws could carry him, though it was clear even he wouldn’t be able to keep up this frantic chase forever.
“The shack should be just ahead,” Steven leaned in as they approached the edge of a bluff. “Everyone, hold on tight!”
By the time the others realized what Steven was planning, it was already too late to change his mind. Instead, the most they could do was cling onto each other for dear life as Lion leapt off the low cliff, straight into the open air. Their shared screams echoed through the area as they flew over the forest. Steven buried his face into Lion’s mane, Connie tightly closed her eyes, Mabel hugged her brother tight, and Dipper didn’t even notice as his old brown cap went flying off his head, lost to the trees below. After several terrifying, breathless moments, Lion solidly landed on the ground once again, the heavy impact hardly phasing him at all as he continued his beeline toward the shack.
Unfortunately, the super gnome wasn’t daunted either. It slammed down the cliff, storming through the forest after the kids every bit as viciously as it had been before. In another attempt to slow the big cat down, it yanked a tree, roots and all, from the ground and lobbed it straight at the kids.
“Look out!” Mabel screamed when she saw it. While the others all pressed low to avoid the tree, Lion could only manage to swerve hard away from where it landed in front of him. Even then, he didn’t completely miss it; instead, he was forced to jump over it at an awkward angle. This time, he didn’t land on his feet, instead, rolling hard onto the ground of the clearing just outside of the Mystery Shack. All four of the kids were thrown off his back, scattered and dazed from such a brutal landing. They didn’t have much time to recover, however, before the super gnome was upon them all again.
“End of the line, kids!” Jeff exclaimed, grinning triumphantly at them from above. “You girls better marry us or we’ll have to do something crazy !”
The kids quickly came back together, with the boys taking a defensive position in front of the girls to do what they had to in order to protect them. “What now…?” Connie fretfully wondered.
“We could escape to the temple…” Steven frowned up at his house, just up the hill. So close, but so far, all at the same time. “But that last jump took it out of Lion. There’s no way we’ll be able to get up there without them catching us.”
“There’s gotta be some way out of this…” Dipper said, already starting to pull the journal out of his vest to look for a solution.
Mabel drew in a deep breath, sparing just a short, nervous glance behind her. In doing so, she happened to spot something none of the other kids had. Something that managed to be somehow even more terrifying than the fearsome gnome titan standing before them. “Uh… guys?” was all she had time to say before it happened.
A sharp, inhuman shriek pieced the air as something black and green flew straight over the kids’ heads, striking the super gnome hard in the chest. The incredible force of it was more than enough to split the gnomes apart, sending them flying in almost every direction. Their frightened cries were all but drowned out by even more monstrous noises coming from the shack’s direction, but the kids were focused more on the super gnome as it fell to pieces before their very eyes.
“No, no!” Jeff yelled as he fell to the ground. His underlings hardly heeded him as they skittered off into the safety of the woods, more than a few of them noticing the much larger threat behind their now former targets. “Wait! Gah!” He spun around, shaking his fist at the kids. “We’ll get you for this! All four of you! Us gnomes don’t stop until we get what we-AH” He screamed, stumbling back when a burst of bright green viscous liquid landed on the ground right next to him. Upon taking another glance up at the shack, Jeff made the quick decision that vowing vengeance wasn’t worth dealing with that . “... On second thought, I’m outta here. Good luck, kids. You look like you’re gonna need it.”
“Huh…” Steven frowned as they all watched Jeff and his gnome kin run off into the woods. “Wonder what he meant by that.”
They quickly found out when another feral screech sounded out, this time from just behind the four of them. No soon after dismantling one threat, the kids spun around to face a new one entirely. A gigantic centipede-like creature towered over them, a single eye resting inside of its sharp mouth as its green, crystalline body coiled even higher to the air than the super gnome had stood. It reared its head back, deadly acid bubbling in its throat that it clearly planned on unleashing on the terrified group of kids before it.
With no time to think and no time to act, all the kids could do was huddle together and brace themselves for that acid to rain down upon them. For their friendship–along with everything else really–to come to a sudden, violent end the very same day it began.
Notes:
Don't forget to comment! Next time, can our four new friends save the Mystery Shack from a centipeedle scourge? Wait and seeeeeee
Chapter 3: Gem Glow
Summary:
When the Mystery Shack is attacked by a monster onslaught, Steven's mysterious guardians, the Crystal Gems, come to the rescue. But will they be able to stop the centipeetle scourge on their own?
Notes:
Back again with part 2 of our two part beginning! This chapter isn't too far removed from the original version of it that was in old UF, save for a few necessary updates here and there. Still, I hope you enjoy the kids (and the Gems) going head to head with the Centipeetle! Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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A frightened scream rang out from Steven, Connie, Dipper, and Mabel alike as they stood in the towering shadow of the centipede creature. Unlike the gnomes, there’d be no escaping this disaster, not with Lion still down for the count from that last risky jump. Fortunately, they wouldn’t have to as a miraculous rescue arrived just in time.
Just as the monster was ready to unleash its acidic wrath upon its victims, something suddenly coiled tightly around its long midsection. The beast gagged as it was violently pulled away from the kids, toppling to the ground instead. As it fell, they were all able to see the small, yet strong purple figure who had managed to save them.
“‘Sup, Steven,” she grinned, throwing some of her long, lavender hair back.
“Amethyst!” Steven beamed, relieved. That relief only grew when he spotted the other Gems fighting the smaller centipede monsters scattered all over the area. “Pearl! Garnet! What’s going on?”
“S-Steven!?” Pearl shrieked when she realized he was there. She threw her spear down hard on one of the smaller creatures, and as soon as she did, it vanished into nothing more than a puff of bright smoke. “Stay back! It’s too dangerous for you out here!”
“Head inside the shack,” Garnet instructed much more calmly. She plowed her gauntleted fists into two monsters at once, likewise dissipating their forms. “It’s safer.”
“B-but I want to help!” Steven protested. He stepped forward, not noticing just how awestruck Connie, Dipper, and Mabel all were at what they were seeing.
“We appreciate your enthusiasm, Steven,” Pearl grabbed one of the nearby monsters, snapping its neck in short order. “But these centipeetles are a little more than you’re used to handling. Until you learn to control the powers in your gem, we’ll take care of protecting humanity, ok?”
“Aw…” Steven sighed. His disappointment didn’t last long as Connie abruptly pulled him out of the way of another burst of centipeetle acid. “Whoa…” he stared at the spot he’d been standing in, now nothing more than a heap of sizzling grass. “Thanks, Connie!”
“No problem,” Connie said, carefully eyeing the area in case any more trouble came their way.
“Steven,” Mabel grabbed his shoulder, stars in her eyes as she watched the Gems in action. “Who are they ?”
“Oh, those are the Crystal Gems!” Steven proudly proclaimed.
“Wait, you mean they’re actually real ?” Dipper asked, baffled.
“Real cool !” Mabel chimed in, amazed.
“Of course, they’re real!” Steven laughed. “We wouldn’t be able to see them if they weren’t, would we?”
“Well… yeah,” Dipper admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “But I thought you were just-”
“Oh my gosh!” Mabel cut him off with an excited gasp. “They’re those magical ladies who live up in that big statue, aren’t they?!” she pointed up at the temple.
“They sure are!” Steven nodded. “I live there with them ‘cause I’m a Crystal Gem too, see?” He lifted his shirt, showing off the bright pink gemstone where his belly button would otherwise be.
“Whoa…” Mabel gawked, dazzled. “It’s so… sparkly …”
“No way…” Dipper shook his head, even more bewildered than he was before. “That thing isn’t actually magical… is it?”
“It is, but… I don’t really know how to use it yet…” Steven frowned, covering his gem once more. “The only times I actually have used it to do anything have been by accident, like the first time I summoned a shield or the day me and Connie first met.”
“We were trapped inside of a giant pink bubble all day,” Connie recounted. Having her vouch for Steven’s claims made them at least a little more believable. “We almost drowned at the bottom of the lake and only barely beat a worm monster. Other than that, it was a pretty good day.”
Though the twins had plenty of other questions for Steven, they didn’t get a chance to ask any of them. Without warning, the largest centipeetle attacked them again, its pincher-like tail rushing at them at frightening speeds. Just as they ducked out of its path, Garnet leapt into the space in front of them, using her sturdy gauntlets and impressive strength to keep the centipeetle’s tail from snapping shut. Pearl and Amethyst offered their support on the offensive, lashing out at the beast with their own weapons.
“You guys!” Steven shouted.
“Steven?” Pearl frowned after the centipeetle swerved out of the way of her spear. “What are you still doing out here?! You and your friends need to find cover, now !”
“But I can help!” Steven argued once again. “We all can! We just fought off a bunch of crazy dangerous gnomes, and-”
“Uh, no offense, Steven,” Amethyst interrupted. “But gnomes aren’t dangerous, they’re just annoying . And like, also reaaaally pushy.”
“Tell us about it…” Mabel exchanged a knowing glance with Connie.
By now, Garnet managed to ward the centipeetle away from the kids with a heavy punch. At the same time, the shack’s side door swung open as Stan stormed out to see the chaos unfolding all over his yard. “Hey!” he snapped the second he spotted the Gems. As focused as his scowl was on them, he didn’t even notice Soos and Wendy curiously peer out of the shack behind him. “What in the sweet name of money is going on out here?!”
He got his answer, not from any of the Gems, but from the centipeetle that was scrambling onto the porch, eager to attack. Soos and Wendy both started, surprised enough by the creature, though they were even more caught off guard when Stan grabbed the broom resting against the doorframe, ready to beat the beast back on his own if he needed to. At least until Amethyst beat him to it.
“Heeeey, Stan!” she greeted with a grin, using her whip to yank the centipeetle off the porch. “How’s it hangin’?”
Stan rolled his eyes, more than used to Amethyst’s antics by now. “It’d be a lot better if I didn’t have an infestation of… whatever the heck these things are,” he roughly swept another centipeetle away when it tried scaling the side of the porch. “I should’ve figured this would be one of your messes,” he said, eyeing Garnet and Pearl as they ran by.
“Don’t worry, Stan,” Pearl stopped just long enough to skewer a centipeetle unfortunate enough to cross paths with her. “We weren’t able to contain these centipeetles before they escaped from the temple and migrated down here. But we’ll take care of them so you can get back to… whatever it is you do here.”
“Gee, thanks ,” Stan deadpanned, far from grateful. His surliness was quickly switched out for something else entirely when he heard a chorus of terrified cries ringing out from the far side of the yard. What would have otherwise been further annoyance became alarm when he realized two of the four kids under attack from another centipeetle were his own niece and nephew. “Kids!” he shouted, broom still in hand as he prepared to rush out to their rescue. Once again, however, the Gems managed to beat him to the punch.
Garnet slammed the offending creature out of the way, swiftly hoisting all four of the kids into her arms. She leapt high into the air, all four of them in tow, before gently depositing them onto the porch in front of Stan. “I believe these two are yours,” she said, nodding down at Dipper and Mabel. “And Steven, take Connie and go inside.”
“B-but Garnet, I-” Steven didn’t get a chance to finish his appeal before she kept back into the fray. Once again leaving the youngest of the Crystal Gems to do nothing but stand on the sidelines, just where he always seemed to be.
“Those beady-eyed little freaks better not cause any property damage or I’m sending you three the bill!” Stan shouted after the Gems, though none of them paid him any mind. He let out a disgruntled huff as he shot the twins a disapproving look. “And as for you two, what did I tell you about going around that temple?!”
“But we didn’t!” Dipper protested as Mabel adamantly shook her head.
“You really expect me to believe that?” Stan scoffed. “First, you two up and disappear for hours , and then you turn up again with him and those three,” he nodded back over to where the Gems were still battling the centipeetles. “And all of the disasters they always bring along with ‘em. There’s no way you didn’t go up there.”
“They’re telling the truth, Mr. Pines!” Steven was quick to jump to the twins’ defense. “We didn’t meet each other up at the temple; we met out in the woods! You see, it all started when my friend Connie here was captured by gnomes, so I-”
Stan quickly raised a hand to stop him. “Didn’t ask, don’t care. What I do care about is makin’ money, even in the middle of a crisis. You and your friend want to hang out in the shack, kid? Then you’ve gotta pay the full price of admission; no discounts, no exceptions. You didn’t forget what I told you the last time you tried coming around here without any cash, did ya?”
“Oh, don’t worry! I remembered this time!” Steven reached into his pocket, presenting a crumpled wad of money. “Here ya go, Mr. Pines! I saved all that up by helping my dad over at the car wash.”
Stan quickly counted the cash before nodding stoically. “Good enough. I guess you twerps can head in. Just as long as you don’t touch anything you can’t afford to buy.”
Steven nodded, smiling as he grabbed Connie’s hand and led her into the gift shop. After all, despite the skirmish unfolding outside, he’d still promised he’d show her the Mystery Shack and all it had to offer. Stan all but shoved Dipper and Mabel in after them, only sparing one more brief, bitter glance back at the Gems before slamming the door shut behind him.
His frustration went largely unnoticed by any of the kids as they spilled into the gift shop. Steven hurried through it with Connie in tow, showing off all of his favorite souvenirs and nick-nacks, however cheaply-made they might be. He also made sure to introduce her to the shack’s pair of employees, who had both returned to their usual posts upon noticing just how dicey things were outside.
“Yo, Steven!” Soos greeted with a smile as the boy bounded up to the counter. “It’s been a while since we’ve seen you down here, dude.”
“Yeah, how’ve you been, man?” Wendy asked as Steven fist bumped her and Soos alike. “You know, not counting crazy bug monster attacks or anything like that.”
“I’m good, with crazy bug monster attacks counted!” Steven said, chuckling. “Soos, Wendy, I’d like you to meet my friend, Connie.” The pair offered her friendly waves that she returned with a warm nod. The round of introductions didn’t go much beyond that, however, as a sudden, heavy quake rattled the shack. It was strong enough to send nearly everyone in the gift shop to the ground, save for Stan as he leaned against the wall for support.
“Ugh,” he scowled, looking out the gift shop window. Outside, the Gems were tackling the largest of the centipeetles, though based on just how fierce of a fight it was putting up, they weren’t having much luck with it. “Do they have to do this right outside my house?”
“S-sorry, Mr. Pines,” Steven frowned as he helped Connie stand. “I’m sure the Gems didn’t mean for this to happen outside of the Mystery Shack. And hey, at least they’re doing everything they can to stop it, right?”
Before Stan could answer, something suddenly flew straight through the window he was standing next to, shattering it on impact. It soon became clear that something was Amethyst as she fell onto the gift shop floor, whip still in hand and broken glass littering her hair. “Heh, whoops,” she smirked up at Stan, laughing again when she noticed the fury rising over his expression.
“Amethyst!” he growled hotly.
“Aw, what?” she picked herself up off the ground, shaking the glass out of her hair. The kids had to hide behind a nearby shelf just to avoid being hit by the sharp shards. “Don’t act like this is the first time I’ve busted one of your windows in. Though this was the first time it happened by accident… huh.”
With a carefree shrug, she hopped through the same hole in the window she’d created. Stan let out another aggravated groan as she left, pinching the bridge of his nose as he began making his way out of the gift shop. “Welp, I’ve officially had enough of this fiasco for one day. I’m heading to my office where I won’t have to deal with any more ‘magical’ mumbo-jumbo. Soos, Wendy, make sure none of those one-eyed freaks get in here or else I’m docking your pay.”
“On it, Mr. Pines!” Soos saluted dutifully.
“Yeah, whatever,” Wendy muttered, absently scrolling through her phone. “Not like you even pay us that much anyway.”
As soon as Stan was gone, all four of the kids quickly gathered around the broken window so they could watch the brawl outside. While their first impression of the Gems had already told Dipper and Mabel they were powerful, steadfast warriors, seeing them in action only proved that point further. They fought valiantly together, an even mix of Garnet’s strength, Pearl’s agility, and Amethyst’s speed coming together to take out most of the smaller centipeetles with ease. The only one of the creatures that seemed to give them any trouble was the one who had started all of this trouble, the large and fearsome centipeetle mother.
Steven frowned when he noticed his guardians once again struggling against the main monster. Despite their best efforts, none of their hits seemed to do much damage. If anything, they only served to infuriate the already feral creature even more as it continued spitting acid in almost every direction. The vicious liquid burnt through trees, shrubs, and even some of the decorative totem poles surrounding the shack. The kids took notice of the rapidly rising damage, as did Soos and Wendy as they joined them to watch by the window.
“Yeesh,” Wendy winced. “That thing isn’t messing around, is it?”
“Yeah,” Soos nodded. “It’s a good thing we’re safe and sound here inside the shack where it can’t possibly get to us!” Almost as soon as he said this, some of the centipeedle’s acid happened to spray in their direction. They all quickly ducked out of the way as the green liquid slipped in through the broken window, burning a sizable hole into the gift shop’s woden floor.
“...You were saying?” Wendy asked, raising an eyebrow at her coworker.
“Aw, man…” Steven sighed as he carefully peered out the window once more. “The Gems could really use some help out there! If only I could get my shield to work…” He lifted his shirt, tapping the area around his gemstone in the hopes that it would conjure something, anything that could help the Gems. “That’d be more than enough to save the day, I just know it!”
“Well, even without your shield, there has to be something we can do…” Connie said, perching a hand against her chin. “Maybe that monster has some kind of weakness the Gems just don’t know about.”
“A weakness, huh…?” Dipper muttered to himself as he patted the pocket of his vest where the journal was stored. He hesitated for a moment, looking between his sister and their new friends as a wave of doubt passed over him. It quickly vanished, however, when he remembered just how invaluable they all had been in their escape from the gnomes. If he could trust them then, certainly he could trust them now, right? “...Can you guys keep a secret?” he dropped his voice down to a whisper. Mabel, Connie, and Steven all eagerly nodded, following after him as he slipped into the shack’s den without Soos or Wendy noticing.
“Ok, so,” Dipper took a seat on the floor, pulling the journal out so they could all see it. “I found this weird old journal out in the woods earlier. Whoever wrote it apparently researched Gravity Falls for years and according to them, this place has this whole hidden dark side.”
“Whoa…” Mabel gasped, her eyes wide in fascination as she watched Dipper leaf through the book. “Shut. Up!”
“I mean, the gnomes alone were proof enough of that,” Connie mused. “Not to mention the Gems… no offense, Steven.”
“None taken,” Steven shrugged.
“And get this,” Dipper continued. “After a certain point, the pages just stop , like the guy who was writing it just… mysteriously disappeared.”
“Maybe he died?” Connie suggested, frowning.
“Or maybe he was abducted by aliens !” Mabel added dramatically.
“Or maybe he’s still out there somewhere!” Steven chimed, in much more hopeful. “Where’d you say you found that book again, Dipper?”
“Uh… up near the hill,” he admitted almost apprehensively. He quickly regretted sharing that when he noticed Steven’s eyes grow wide with concerned confusion.
“The hill… near the temple?” he asked, intrigued. “That’s… weird. I’ve lived there most of my life and I’ve never seen that book before. Maybe the Gems would know-”
“Um, speaking of the Gems,” Connie cut in, much to Dipper’s relief. “Maybe we ought to focus on finding a way to help them first.”
“R-right,” Dipper quickly, staunchly concluded. “The way I see it, if there was an entry in here on the gnomes, then there’s gotta be something about that monster outside too.” He began flipping through the journal once more, hoping to spot an illustration of the centipeedle somewhere in its weathered pages. “Ok, let’s see here… Ghosts… zombies…invisible cows… anthropomorphic bushes…”
Another crash rattled the shack from its foundation, a sure sign that things outside were only getting more and more dire by the minute. “Uh… you might wanna hurry up there, bro-bro!” Mabel urged, worried.
“Working on it!” Dipper shot back as he began searching at a quicker, more frantic pace. After what felt like far too many pages of useless information, he finally spotted exactly what he was looking for. “Aha! Here it is!”
Steven, Connie, and Mabel all drew in a bit closer to help Dipper examine the entry as he quickly read it aloud. “A common type of Gem monster, centipeetles can be identified by their pincher-like tails and their singular eyes. The acid they spit is highly corrosive and highly toxic; avoid at all costs.”
“We already know all that!” Steven pressed. “Does it say anything about how to get rid of them?”
“Um…” Dipper quickly skimmed the rest of the page. “Oh! Here we go: “ A centipeetle can be defeated through largely any method, though it should be noted that an effective way of stunning it is through electrocution."
“Electrocution!” Mabel echoed brightly. “So all we gotta do is find a way to shock that big green creepy-crawly and it’ll explode! Bzzt!” She playfully poked Dipper’s arm, though he didn’t share her excitement as he scanned the centipeetle entry once more.
“It didn’t say electricity would defeat it,” he said, closing the journal and tucking it away. “It only said it would stun it.”
“But that should be enough to help the Gems get a good hit on it!” Steven hopped to his feet. “Come on, we’ve gotta tell them!”
“Hold it!” All four of the kids froze, turning to find Stan standing in the den’s doorway, a disapproving scowl on his face. Briefly looked between the group, before he gruffly urged Steven and Connie out. “You two can go. You two,” he shifted his glare to the twins. “Stay put. It’s time we had a little chat about how things are gonna go this summer.”
The kids exchanged a nervous glance, but they all knew better than to argue. Steven and Connie quickly hurried out, intent on sharing their discovery with the Gems. Dipper and Mabel, on the other hand, could only wait to hear whatever their clearly frustrated great uncle had to say.
“Grunkle Stan,” Dipper tried to get the first word in. “We just-”
“Save it, kid,” Stan crossed his arms as he stepped into the den. “I know you two were planning on sneaking back outside, even though what’s going on out there has nothing to do with any of us.”
“Uh… but doesn’t it, though?” Mabel frowned. “I mean, those bug thingies are attacking your shack, so-”
“That’s not the point,” Stan cut her off. “Look, I didn’t want to say this in front of that Steven kid, but those ‘Crystal Gems’? They’re not our friends or neighbors, and they’re definitely not the big ‘heroes’ they try to pass themselves off as. I told you runts to stay away from that temple of theirs for a reason; they’re nothing but trouble, trouble that I don’t want either of you getting tangled up in.”
“But Grunkle Stan, they’re Steven’s friends, and Steven’s our friend!” Mabel earnestly insisted. “And we want to help them! We even know how too, don’t we, Dipper?”
“Yeah, we do!” Dipper added, just as determined. “And we could if you’d just let us- ”
“I don’t have to let you do anything,” Stan stood firm in his stubborn stance on the matter. “ I’m in charge of you two anklebiters for the summer, remember? Which means what I say goes.”
“But Grunkle Stan-” Both twins argued, only for Stan to swiftly shoot them down.
“Take it from someone who’s had to deal with those Gems and their messes for years ,” he turned away from the pair. “They’re nuisances , plain and simple. And if you know what’s good for you, then you’ll take after me for once and steer clear of ‘em. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.”
“I bet we won’t…” Mabel muttered, pouting. Dipper, on the other hand, quickly came up with a ploy he had a feeling their miserly uncle wouldn’t be able to refuse.
“You know, Grunkle Stan,” he began a bit leadingly. “As long as those monsters are outside, they’re going to scare tourists away from the shack. And until someone gets rid of them, well… I doubt you’ll be making too much money. But if someone like, oh, I dunno, us helps speed the process along, then you’ll be able to get the shack back up and running and make up for any potential lost profits. So…?”
Stan said nothing for a long, tense moment. In the end, however, he started to fold, letting out a long, tired sigh. “Oh, I really hate that you’re right, kid,” he grumbled, countering Dipper’s smug smirk with an annoyed glare. “Ugh, fine . But just this once. We are not making a habit out of getting wrapped up in their messes this summer.”
The twins shared a triumphant grin as they began to hurry out of the den before Stan could change his mind. They briefly feared he already had when he suddenly stopped them short. “Kids, wait,” his tone and face were initially unreadable. But then, he finally slipped on a small smile. It was the first sincere one he’d had for the twins since they arrived in Gravity Falls that morning. A smile that carried all the confidence they could ever need for the daunting mission ahead of them. “Go and make those eyesores pay for messing with the Mystery Shack.”
Steven and Connie emerged from the shack onto a scene that was quickly going from bad to worse. By now, most of the smaller creatures had been cleared out, leaving only the largest centipeetle for the Gems to contend with. The monster lashed out viciously, striking Pearl with its tail and sending her flying back toward the woods. Amethyst only narrowly missed being hit by a burst of acid while Garnet missed a direct punch to the eye in the centipeetle’s maw. No matter what strategy they tried, the monster always seemed to overpower them. At this point, it’d take nothing less than a miracle for them to come out on top in this fight.
A miracle that, right now, laid in the hands of their youngest member.
“You guys!” Steven shouted from his spot on the porch. “You’ve got to-”
“Steven!” Pearl scolded the second she heard his voice. “How many times do we have to tell you? Go inside!”
This time, Connie attempted to interject, even if she knew the Gems were even less likely to listen to her than to Steven. “But we-”
“We know you both want to help,” Garnet said as she landed an uppercut against the centipeetle. “But we need to keep you safe.”
With that, the battle raged on. Steven and Connie could only watch as the Gems were forced to take cover in the woods while the centipeetle unleashed an all-out barrage of deadly acid against them. “This isn’t working,” Connie shook her head. “How do we get them to listen to us?”
“We’ll make them listen!” Mabel proclaimed as she and Dipper emerged from the shack. “We made Grunkle Stan hear us out, so who’s to say we can’t make the Gems hear us out too?”
“But how are we supposed to do that?” Steven asked, confused.
“Hm…” Dipper thought for a moment before reaching the only real option on hand. Even if it wasn’t a very good one. “Ok, so this is gonna sound kind of crazy, but what if we just like, ran out there and-”
“Yeah!” Mabel cheered, already hopping off the porch. “Let’s do it!” Steven was quick to rally after her, fists pumping as they both hurried straight into the fray.
“You didn’t let me finish!” Dipper called after them.
“Oh boy…” Connie winced, worried. “We better make sure they don’t get themselves hurt.”
Dipper sighed, nodding. They both ventured into the yard, albeit much more cautiously as to avoid being spotted by the centipeetle. Not that it really mattered when Steven and Mabel began throwing rocks at the creature.
“Hey!” Steven shouted, finally drawing the monster’s attention away from the Gems. “Leave them alone!”
The centipeetle reeled its massive head back to stare down at the four much smaller kids before it with its singular eye. From their hiding spot within the woods, the Gems shared a frightened gasp, unable to stop the monster from shifting its angry attention to the group of defenseless kids instead of them.
The Gems’ shared cry for Steven was all but drowned out by another furious shriek from the centipeetle. In an instant, it began slinking toward the kids at a rapid pace, propelled by its plentiful legs as even more acid began dripping from its maw. Without any real way to fight back, the kids were left with no other options but to run as fast as they possibly could.
“We have to save them!” Pearl exclaimed, on the verge of emerging from their shared hiding spot. She was only stopped when the centipeetle’s tail sliced clean through the trees above them. It would have done the same to all three of the Gems if they hadn’t ducked out of the way just in time.
“Can we save ourselves first?” Amethyst asked as the centipeetle’s tail continued to keep them trapped.
The kids weren’t really faring much better. As long as the centipeetle’s body was, it was easily able to maneuver in any direction they ran in, effectively keeping them from escaping its wrath. “Anyone got a new plan we maybe could try?” Connie asked, anxious. “Because at this point, I don’t think just running away from this thing is really cutting it.”
“What we really need right now is a huge thunderstorm!” Mabel suggested. “Maybe, if we’re lucky, a lightning bolt will strike that monster right in its big ol’ eyeball and then bam! Problem solved!”
“Good luck with that,” Dipper scoffed. “There’s no way it’ll storm–there’s not a cloud in the sky!”
“No, wait!” Steven gasped, grinning. “She’s right! A storm is exactly what we need right now!” His smile widened as he spared a glance over his shoulder back at the Gems in the distance. “And I know just the Gem who can bring all the lightning we could ever need.” Suddenly, Steven stopped short, prompting the other kids to do the same as they tried figuring out what his angle was. “Hey, you guys!” he tried calling to the Gems again. He didn’t get a chance to say much else as the centipeetle spit a burst of acid at the kids. They only narrowly leapt out of its path as the Gems watched on in mounting horror.
“Steven!” they cried in panicked unison. With the monster’s pinchers still keeping them trapped, Garnet finally acted, wedging her gauntlets in between them to hold them in place. “Go!” she shouted to Amethyst and Pearl. The pair didn’t hesitate to slip out of their hiding spot, both of them running for the kids as fast as they could. Even then, it was clear they wouldn’t make it in time to stop the centipeetle’s next onslaught against the helpless group before it.
Time seemed to slow for Steven as he watched the monster prepare to unleash another wave of acid. It’s last attack had separated him from Connie, Dipper, and Mabel, though not by much. Still, it was clear they were the ones the centipeetle was taking aim at, and with the shack only steps behind them, they were essentially cornered, with no way to escape and no way to protect themselves from the monster’s fatal fury.
That is, until Steven threw himself between them and the beast.
He did it without thinking, acting on instinct and an earnest, deep desire to keep his friends safe. The Gems’ shared, terrified scream was all but lost on him as he closed his eyes and threw his arms out wide, bracing himself for the worst. But instead of hitting him… the acid struck something else entirely.
Dipper, Mabel, and Connie watched, equally awestruck, as a bright glow flooded out from under Steven’s shirt. From his gemstone, their salvation appeared in the form of a large, beautiful shield made of pink, glittering light. It stood firm against the centipeetle’s acid, not wavering in the slightest as the corrosive liquid sprayed against its surface. The Gems shared a stunned gasp at the sight of the shield, as did the other kids, prompting Steven to slowly open his eyes to see what had happened. He was every bit as amazed as they were to see he’d somehow summoned his mysterious shield for the second time ever, an incredible feat that couldn’t have come at any better of a time than now.
“Yeah, ok, it’s official,” Mabel whispered to Connie, absolutely starstruck. “Today is the best day I’ve ever had.”
“H-how… how are you doing that?” Dipper asked Steven, completely captivated by both the shield and the boy who had summoned it.
“I… don’t really know,” Steven admitted sheepishly. His own wonder turned to alarm when he noticed his weapon begin to flicker in front of him, a sure sign that it was starting to go away. “Wait! No! Don’t-”
“Steven!” Pearl and Amethyst cried. As their initial shock wore off, they’d not only noticed Steven’s shield starting to vanish; they also could tell the centipeetle was gearing up to attack again the second it was gone.
“Oh, that’s right!” Steven exclaimed as his shield finally disappeared entirely. “Guys! You have to shock the monster to stun it!”
“Shock it?” Amethyst raised a curious eyebrow.
“What?” Pearl was every bit as confused. “But… how do you know-”
Garnet didn’t question the idea, deciding to act upon it instead. She grabbed a firm hold on the centipeetle’s tail, using her magic to channel a strong electrical current through her gauntlets. The monster screamed as that charge flowed through its long body, causing it to jerk erratically as its long white mane stood on end. The current held the creature in thrall long enough for Garnet to finally leap out into the open to join her team in one final stand against the menacing beast before them.
“Gems! Weapons!” she ordered as they stood together, ready to end this. “Let’s go.”
With the centipeetle finally stunned, the rest of the fight unfolded in a matter of seconds. Amethyst pounced upon it first, using her whip to wrangle the monster’s head down to their level. From there, Pearl wedged her spear between its sharp fangs, prying its mouth open wide to allow Garnet to land the final blow. She plowed her fist straight into the centipeetle’s exposed eyeball with enough force that it could no longer stand the strain.
With one final scream, the monster suddenly exploded, just as all of the smaller creatures had before it. When the smoke cleared, all that was left was its lone eyeball, a small green gemstone that rolled across the ground until Garnet stopped it under her foot. She reached down, using her magic to conjure a secure maroon bubble around it. And with just a wave of her hand, she sent the bubble, and the monster’s gemstone away, finally freeing the shack from its destructive rampage.
“That was amazing, you guys!” Steven hurried over to the Gems, stars in his eyes. “That monster didn’t know what hit ‘em!”
“Thank you, Steven,” Pearl smiled graciously. “But I doubt we can take all the credit for this victory.”
“Yeah!” Amethyst grabbed Steven from behind, propping him up onto her shoulders. “You summoning your shield was totally awesome ! And how’d you know that electrocution thing would work, anyway? You totally saved our butts, man!”
“Oh, well we read about that in a-”
“I-it was a… lucky guess!” Dipper quickly cut Steven off before he could so much as mention the journal. He’d shared the knowledge of its existence enough today already, at least as far as he was concerned.
The Gems gave the twins a curious look for a moment or two before Amethyst sat Steven down, elbowing him with a playful grin. “You gonna introduce us to your new friends here, Steven, or what?”
“Oh, yeah! This is-”
“Hi!” Mabel eagerly rushed forward, catching the Gems’ off guard as she happily shook each of their hands. “The name’s Mabel! It’s soooo nice to meet you! You’re all so cool and strong and pretty!” Before any of the Gems could get a word in edgewise, she began rattling off a series of curious questions at a rapid-fire pace. “Do you guys always beat up giant monsters like that? Where’d you get all your neat weapons from? Do you really live up in that big statue on the hill? Are you accepting any new recruits?”
“Oh, um… well…” Pearl put on a polite smile as she tried answering each of those questions in order. “First of all, thank you. Second of all, yes, on a daily basis, Third of all, we summon them from our gemstones. Fourth of all, we do, it’s our temple. And… what was that last question again?”
“Er, you’re gonna have to excuse Mabel,” Dipper cut in at the risk of his sister embarrassing them both. “She can get a little… over-excited sometimes.”
“No, I don’t!” Mabel argued, sticking her tongue out at him. His point was quickly proven right, however, when Lion wandered back onto the scene from wherever he’d disappeared to during the fight. “Oh my gosh! The pink lion’s back! Yay!” She rushed over to him, hugging him tight.
“Uh… yeah, anyway,” Dipper turned back to the Gems. While he had more than a few curious questions for them himself, he was prepared to ask them much more calmly than his sister had. “I’m Dipper. I don’t know if this is weird to ask or anything, but, uh… what exactly are you guys?”
Though the Gems could and had answered that very question many times before, Steven suddenly lept in with a much more creative way of doing it. “We are the Crystal Gems-” he began singing a tune his guardians all knew well. A song he’d come up with for the four of them years ago, one that had stuck with them ever since.
“We’ll always save the day,” he continued, urging the Gems to join in. “And if you think we can’t-”
“We’ll always find a way!” the Gems happily joined his harmony.
“That’s why the people of this world believe in-” Steven threw his arms out to the Gems to let them take it away.
“Garnet,” she grinned, showing off the pair of gemstones on each of her palms.
“Amethyst ,” she smirked, pulling her top down a bit to reveal the stone on her chest.
“And Pearl !” she trilled as she gestured to the stone on her forehead.
“And Steven !” he proclaimed, lifting his shirt to show his pink gem once more.
A beat of silence passed as the song came to an end. While Mabel was quick to launch into impressed applause over their performance, Dipper whispered to Connie, confused. “What just happened?”
“Oh, you’ll get used to that,” she chuckled. “If there’s one thing you should know about Steven–and the Gems too–it’s that they love to sing.”
“So,” Steven began, hands on his hips. “Did that answer your question, Dipper?”
“Um… not really?” he frowned, looking between the Gems once more.
“What more do you need to know, dude?” Amethyst shrugged. “You heard the song. We’re the Crystal Gems.”
“And they always save the day!” Mabel cheerfully echoed the first lines of their song. Before both her and Steven could launch into an enthusiastic reprise of it, however, Dipper quickly cut in with another question.
“Ok, but you’re not like… gem -gems, are you?” he ventured, stealing another glance at each of their gemstones.
“Simplified down to our most basic forms, yes, we are, actually,” Pearl explained. “Unlike you humans, we don’t have organic beings. Our bodies are actually projections of physical light generated by our gemstones.”
“Wait, so like… solid holograms?” Dipper guessed. Even if he didn’t have the slightest clue as to how such a thing was even possible.
“Mm, yes, I suppose you could say that,” Pearl nodded, smiling.
“Whoa, Steven!” Mabel finally pulled herself away from Lion. “If you’re a Crystal Gem, then does that make you a hologram too?”
“Oh, uh, no,” Steven let out a bashful laugh. “I’m only half-Gem, on my mom’s side. The rest of me is all human, like you guys!”
“...Ok, well, now I’m even more confused…” Dipper muttered, shaking his head.
“Yeah, you’ll get used to that too,” Connie assured with a knowing grin.
“Dipper and Mabel are staying here in Gravity Falls for the summer,” Steven informed the Gems with a smile. “Mr. Pines is their great uncle! Isn’t that cool?”
“Huh,” Amethyst perched her hands on her hips. “Stan’s never mentioned he had any family before.” She offered the twins a wry, mischievous smile. “Would’ve never pegged him as the kind to take up babysitting duty for the summer though. Ya see,” she slipped in between Dipper and Mabel, throwing an arm over each of their shoulders. “Your uncle and us go waaaaay back-”
“No, we don’t,” Pearl scoffed, turning her nose up. “Just because you like to go gallivanting off with Stan and getting into trouble every now and then, Amethyst, doesn’t mean that we do or that we support such unruly, unethical behavior. Right, Garnet?”
“I’m not involved in this,” Garnet said simply. While she’d been stoically silent for most of this meeting, she finally offered the twins a small, cordial smile and a proper greeting. “Welcome to Gravity Falls. Hope you both enjoy your time here.”
“Oh, we totally are!” Mabel nodded. “Aren’t we, Dipper?”
“Well, it’s definitely been… eventful so far,” he shrugged, glancing back at the mess the centipeetle had left behind all over the yard.
At the same time, Stan finally emerged from the shack to survey his property. Even though the monsters were cleared out, he still seemed far from satisfied, especially as his sights settled on the Gems meeting with the kids.
“Hey, speak of the devil!” Amethyst waved him over. “We took care of your little pest problem, for ya! You’re welcome!”
“...Sure ya did,” Stan raised an eyebrow at the porch beam beside him. It had been completely burned through by the centipeetle’s acid, along with the countless other signs of damage the monster had caused to his business. “I sure hope you three don’t expect me to pay you for-”
“Oh, no, thank you, Stan,” Pearl made a point of interrupting him. “We have no need for any of your human currency. We simply take pride in protecting all members of the human race from any threat… no matter who they might be.”
Such a cold dig left Stan seething as his hands curled into fists at his sides. “Why I oughta-” He only stopped himself short when he spotted the concerned looks Dipper and Mabel were sending his way. “Ugh, whatever,” he crossed his arms. “Would you three just get outta here already? And take that munchkin with you,” he pointed at Steven. “I’ve already got enough hyperactive enthusiasm around here with Mabel. I don’t need any more.”
“Aw, but Mr. Pines,” Steven frowned. “I didn’t even get a chance to show Connie around the museum yet!”
“Actually, Steven,” Connie spoke up, taking a glance at the dusky skies above.”It’s getting pretty late. I should probably be heading home. We can always hang out again tomorrow though.”
“Yeah!” Mabel brightly exclaimed. “All four of us can! Maybe we can find even more cool weird stuff to fight and beat just like we did with those gnomes and that centi-monster!”
“Or,” Dipper said. “We could just hang out and do normal, non- life threatening stuff instead?”
“...We could,” Steven acknowledged.
“But where’s the fun in that!” Mabel said with a mischievous grin.
“Well, whatever we do, it’s bound to be interesting,” Connie chuckled. She offered Steven and the twins one final wave that they all gladly returned as she began to head for home. “See you guys later!”
“We’re leaving too,” Garnet announced. Pearl and Amethyst had already begun making their way to the hill that led up to their mysterious temple home, urging Steven to do the same. “Say good night to your friends, Steven.”
“Wow, I can’t believe today’s already over,” Steven turned back to the twins with a small smile. “I had so much fun with you guys! I can’t remember the last time I’ve been on such a huge, action-packed adventure!”
“Neither can we!” Mabel exclaimed.
“Mostly because we’ve never been on any real adventures before today,” Dipper grinned, crossing his arms. “But yeah, I guess it was kinda fun. Ya know, aside from all the times we almost died.”
“What do you mean?” Mabel asked. “Those parts were especially fun!”
The kids shared a warm laugh, one that only came to an end when Steven turned to climb onto Lion’s back and follow his guardians. “I guess I better get going,” he smiled down at the twins. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow! Good night!”
“Night, Steven.”
“Bye!”
Dipper and Mabel gladly called after him, watching as he joined the other Gems on their way to the sunset-soaked temple above. While they still had more questions than answers about it and the Crystal Gems themselves, one thing was clear: their ‘neighbors’ for the summer were far more interesting–and magical–than they ever could have anticipated.
“Well, that’s over with, finally ,” Stan spoke up from his spot behind the twins. “Now that you two ‘saved the day’ or whatever, I’m sure a pair if busy-bodied ‘heroes’ like you would have no problem cleaning up the mess those monsters made.”
“Aw, what?” Dipper asked, warily eyeing the damages. They were plentiful, with glass shattered, grass scorched, and wood splintered all across the shack’s property. “Grunkle Stan, do we have to?”
“Yeah, we’re soooo tired!” Mabel added with a long, fake yawn.
“Hey, I’m tired all the time,” Stan said, initially unsympathetic. “Doesn’t keep me from getting things done. Besides, you two are young; you should be chock full of energy!”
Stan stopped short when he heard the pair let out a disappointed sigh. When he looked between the two of them, he finally noticed just how worse for wear they both were. Their clothes were torn and ragged, their hair messy and wild, and their faces worn and exhausted from everything their first day in Gravity Falls had to offer. It was plain to see they’d been through a lot more than they could have bargained for, Stan could tell that much just by looking at them. And while he knew the Gems were to blame for at least a little of that, he still couldn’t help but soften up just the slightest bit when he remembered the hand they’d had in saving the shack today.
It was enough to make him think that maybe his first impression about these kids had been wrong. Maybe they were braver, tougher, and more stubborn than he gave them credit for. Maybe, just maybe, they were both a lot more like him than he thought.
“Eh… you know what? Forget it,” he shrugged, still trying to put forth a nonchalant front. “It’s late; we’ll take care of it tomorrow. Or I’ll go pester the Gems about fixing up the place instead. I’m sure they won’t–Pearl will probably go off on some long, boring rant about how it’s ‘beneath them’ or some garbage like that. But I maybe I could convince Amethyst to help out–she does owe me, after all, for the last time I bailed her out of-”
He was cut off by a genuine yawn from both of the twins this time. He couldn’t help but smile in spite of himself as he led them back into the gift shop. “Alright, I get it. Too tired to listen to your Grunkle Stan ramble, huh? But, uh…” He paused for a moment, glancing around the gift shop. Soos and Wendy had already headed home for the day, which meant that he wouldn’t have to work too hard to save face with what he was about to do. “Wouldn’t you know it? I, um, accidentally overstocked some inventory. So, uh, how’s about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, ya know?”
Dipper and Mabel exchanged a slightly suspicious glance at this. Over the past few hours they’d spent in Stan’s care, they’d learned very little about him. In fact, one of the only things they did know was that all he seemed to care about was money. But now… now they had reason to think that maybe that might not be the only thing that mattered to him.
Still, Dipper wasn’t entirely convinced yet. “What’s the catch?”
“The catch is do it now before I change my mind,” Stan huffed, glaring away from the pair. “And besides, you both technically helped save the shack from those eyesores, so this makes us even.”
“... We risked our lives and all you’re giving us in exchange is one cheap souvenir a piece?” Dipper questioned dryly.
“Hey, I could just give you nothing and be done with it, if that’s what you want,” Stan countered just as flippantly.
“I want something!” Mabel grabbed Dipper by the arm before he could say anything else to potentially ruin this for them. “Come on!”
The pair began their search through the gift shop, sizing up snow globes, postcards, and bobbleheads as potential finds. They soon split up as Dipper headed over to the hat display. He’d lost his old brown cap in their daring escape from the gnomes earlier, but he found a suitable replacement in a blue and white cap with a small pine tree printed on the front. “Hm,” he tried it on, smiling at his reflection in the nearby mirror as he solidified his choice. “That oughta do the trick!”
At the same time, Mabel sifted through a box of random items on the far side of the shop, gasping when she pulled out what she viewed as an excellent find. “And I will have a… GRAPPLING HOOK!” she proclaimed, holding it high into the air.
Stan and Dipper exchanged a brief, uncertain look. “Eh, wouldn’t you rather have like… a doll or something?” Stan asked, though Mabel’s mind was clearly made up.
“Grappling hook!” she shouted again, firing the hook up at the ceiling. It latched onto one of the support beams above her, pulling her up into the air as she let out a daring cheer.
“...Fair enough,” Stan concluded. “Now, off to bed with both of you runts. And remember what I said,” his tone turned serious as the twins looked back at him from their spot near the stairs. “No more getting tangled up with those Gems and all their messes, got it?”
The twins shared a glance before they both broke out into a largely fake smile; Stan wasn’t the only one in their family who could lie through his teeth, after all. “Got it,” Mabel agreed, crossing her fingers behind her back.
“But no promises,” Dipper muttered as soon as they were out of their uncle’s earshot.
Their coy smiles remained as they made it up to the attic. They both flopped onto their beds, finally giving themselves a moment to breathe after the incredibly eventful day they’d had. One that they were quickly starting to hope would be the first of many more.
“So, bro-bro,” Mabel sat up, flashing her brother a wide, knowing grin. “You still think this summer is gonna be ‘boring’?”
“With things like gnomes and monsters and magical women around?” Dipper laughed as he pulled the journal out of his vest. He flipped to the latter half of the book, completely blank and practically waiting for entirely new stories to fill its pages. And, after their first day in Gravity Falls alone, Dipper had a feeling he’d have plenty to tell across the summer to come. “Not a chance.”
The twins shared a laugh as they began settling in for the night. It wasn’t long before they were both fast asleep, especially after all of the action they’d been through earlier that day. As moonlight settled over the Mystery Shack, no one was awake or around to see Stan as he stepped into the gift shop.
He made sure there were no prying eyes, either from within his own house or from the temple just a short walk up the hill from it. With just a few taps on the keypad, the vending machine creaked open to reveal the passageway behind it. Stan stepped inside of it, looking around one more time just to be sure.
After all, the last thing he needed were those bothersome Crystal Gems to stumble upon his greatest secret.
And the last thing he wanted was for either his innocent niece or nephew to stumble upon his greatest regret.
Notes:
Don't forget to comment! Next time, we learn about fusion as the kids hunt down a legendary lake monster!
Chapter 4: The Legend of the Giant Woman
Summary:
Steven, Dipper, and Mabel team up to search for the legendary Gravity Falls Gobblewonker. Can they also find a way to convince the quarreling Amethyst and Pearl to fuse into the equally legendary Opal?
Notes:
Ok so I feel like I need to begin with something of an explaination here because some of you don't seem to understand what new UF actually is. It is not an entirely new fic 100%. It will share plenty of chapters in common with old UF, just with some fat cut out and a few additions added in. Hence, we have chapters like this, which are more or less revisions of old UF chapters as opposed to entirely new ones. So I don't want to hear anyone claim "this is the same as the old version of this chapter!" because I already know that. That was kind of the intention because, well, I liked the old version of this chapter. Didn't really see too much of a need to change it. There will be other chapters, especially later on that are like this, just revised versions of old chapters where a lot of the structure and dialogue is the same, but the prose and pacing is just improved upon. So with all that out of the way, let's go hunting for a Gobblewonker! Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
CWUITR PVR VEBK O NPYWPSE RMUKG
MFLZA WG DS FVOM UZ XQFA DLV ZWEFD
It wasn’t unusual for the Gems to be away all night on some far-off mission, and in the same way, it wasn’t unusual for Steven to get up early to wait for them. He was still in the middle of breakfast when the warp pad lit up with its telltale glow, prompting Steven to leave his cereal behind to welcome his guardians back instead.
“Hi, you guys!” he called, bounding over to the pad. “Whoa…” he stopped short upon noticing that the Gems were a little worse for wear after whatever they’d just been through.
“Hello, Steven,” Garnet greeted coolly, despite the feathers scattered through her disheveled afro. Amethyst cheerfully leapt off the warp pad almost as soon as they returned, toting a large, oddly colored egg over to the kitchen.
“Amethyst, we do not need that!” Pearl scolded as Amethyst began trying to squeeze her prize into the fridge. “It’s not going to fit in there!”
“Aw, c’mon, Pearl, I totally got this,” Amethyst assured. In one swift move, she pulled the middle shelf out of the fridge, sending any food that had once sat upon it onto the floor. From there, she pushed the egg in as she shot Pearl a smug grin. “See? It fits!” She slammed the door shut, wincing when a sickening crack sounded from within. “Oh man…” she looked away from the fridge, disappointed. “Eh, I guess it's not a total loss. Now we can make a big omelet, or a quiche, or a huge sunny side up!”
“Amethyst…” Pearl groaned, pinching her nose in annoyance.
“Uh, gimme a break, Pearl,” Amethyst crossed her arms. “You’re no fun anymore. This is why we never form Opal.”
“We don’t form Opal because you’re difficult and a mess ,” Pearl retorted just as crossly.
Amethyst stormed over to her, her hands in tight fists at her sides. “We don’t form Opal because you’re uptight and-”
“Guys! Guys!” Steven suddenly jumped between them, immensely curious. After all, it wasn’t every day that he got to discover something new about his mysterious guardians and their mysterious lives. And since he was technically one of them, he was always eager to learn more. “What’s Opal?”
“Opal is the two of us,” Amethyst smirked as she loudly clapped her hands. “ Mashed together.”
While that alone was more than enough to intrigue Steven, Pearl quickly jumped in to elaborate much more eloquently. “Is water just hydrogen and oxygen ‘mashed together’?” she asked, only to receive blank stares from Steven and Amethyst alike. “Ugh… analogy wasted.”
“Steven,” Garnet finally cut in. “What Pearl and Amethyst are trying to say is that Opal is the fusion of both of their forms. When Gems synchronize physically, mentally, and emotionally, we can unite into a single, more powerful Gem.”
“Whoa…” Steven gaped, stars in his eyes. For as many magical feats he knew the Gems were capable of, this ‘fusion’ thing sounded like it was one of the most impressive by far. “That’s so cool! Tell me more about Opal!”
“Well, Steven,” Amethyst wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “She’s an ultra-powerful, stone-cold betty–that part’s me. And she’s like… kinda tall? That part’s Pearl.”
“As I was trying to say earlier,” Pearl interjected. “Opal isn’t that simple. She’s an amalgam of our combined magical and physical attributes fused into a single entity.”
“Wow! So can you do it right now?” Steven asked, looking between the pair pleadingly. “Come on, form Opal!”
Amethyst and Pearl were notably quiet at such a request, exchanging an uncertain glance with each other first before looking to Garnet. She simply crossed her arms and nodded stoically, knowingly. “Well?”
“Uh… well…” Amethyst trailed off, scratching the back of her neck.
“Garnet, you know we only fuse when it's absolutely necessary!” Pearl protested, flustered.
“Alright then,” Garnet relented surprisingly easily. Even as Steven let out a loud, disappointed sigh. “If you don’t want to fuse, then I won’t force you. However, we should set out on our next mission immediately. We need to retrieve the Geode Beetles of Water and Earth.”
“Oh! Oh! Can I come this time?” Steven asked. It wasn’t often that the Gems allowed him to accompany them on their dangerous missions. But whenever they did, he leapt at the chance to join his team in their important, Earth-protecting work.
“Yes,” Garnet nodded before Pearl could put forth any concerns about his safety. Steven gasped, delighted, as Garnet continued. “We’ll be splitting up to retrieve them.”
“Well, I’m going with not Pearl,” Amethyst glared away from her teammate, crossing her arms.
“That’s fine with me because I don’t want to go with grammatically incorrect people anyway,” Pearl turned her nose up at the smaller Gem.
“You three go together,”Garnet commanded, turning back to the warp pad. “I go alone.”
“What? Why?” Pearl and Amethyst asked in disgruntled unison.
“The Earth Beetle is at the bottom of a boiling lava lake, and only I can swim through lava,” Garnet explained. With a wave of her hand over her face, her usual shades turned into a pair of swimming goggles suitable for the task ahead of her. “You won’t even need to warp to find the Water Beetle; it’s located somewhere around Lake Gravity Falls. It’s safer.”
“You mean boring -er ,” Amethyst huffed.
“You mean more boring,” Pearl corrected, rolling her eyes.
“So you agree with me.”
Pearl simply shot her an annoyed look before trudging her way over to the door. “Come on, you two!” she called to Steven and Amethyst, wanting to get this mission over with as quickly as possible. “Let’s go.”
“Coming!” Steven hurried over. He only stopped short when Garnet addressed him once more from her spot on the warp pad. “Steven! Remember to keep the harmony!”
While Steven didn’t know what quite she meant, he still offered her a firm salute as she warped away. “No problem!” He stepped between Pearl and Amethyst, both of them still far from pleased about having to undertake a mission together. Hopefully, they wouldn’t be for long, however, if Steven had anything to do about it. “You heard what Garnet said, guys!” he said as they all began their voyage out to the lake. “Today’s gonna be all about HAR-MON-Y!”
"Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?"
"I'm always ready."
"Then you know what this means…”
"Syrup race!" And with that, the battle was on. Dipper and Mabel tipped their syrup bottles back, eagerly awaiting to see which stream of sweet, sticky liquid would reach their awaiting tongues first. As usual, it was a rather slow race, one that Mabel ultimately won as she got the first taste of syrup.
“Yes!” she cheered, slamming her bottle back down onto the table.
Dipper simply shrugged, accepting defeat as he turned his attention back to the magazine he’d been reading. “Whoa, no way!” he exclaimed upon noticing an interesting ad. “Mabel, check this out.”
Mabel gasped, immensely fascinated by the bizarre novelty item the magazine was advertising. “Human-sized hamster balls? I’m human-sized! It’s like it was made for me!”
“No, not that,” Dipper pointed to the opposite page. “ This ,” The page in question promoted a monster photo contest, with the previous month’s winner looking far from impressive–-or even real for that matter. What really caught the twins’ attention, however, was the incredibly enticing grand prize: $1000 dollars for the winning photo. “We’ve only been here for a few days, and we’ve already seen way weirder stuff than that,” Dipper said. “We didn’t happen to get any pictures of those centipeetles? Or the gnomes?”
“Nope, just memories,” Mabel shook her head. “And a few minor acid buns. Oh, and this beard hair!” She held up a handful of gray hair she’d accidentally snagged during their escape.
“...Why did you keep that?”
Mabel could only shrug, not entirely sure of the answer to that question herself.
At the same time, Stan entered the kitchen, strangely upbeat as he offered the twins a seemingly sincere smile. “Morning, knuckleheads. You two know what day it is?”
“Um… happy anniversary?” Dipper guessed.
“Mazel tov!” Mabel chimed in for good measure.
Stan rolled his eyes, lightly tapping Dipper on the back of his head with his rolled-up newspaper. “It’s family day, genius! We’re cuttin’ off work and having one of those, ya know, bonding-type deals.”
“Grunkle Stan, is this going to be anything like our last ‘family bonding day’?” Dipper asked, concerned. “You know, when you forced us to help you make counterfeit money and said it was ‘arts and crafts’?”
“The county jail was so cold,” Mabel shuddered at the memory of what happened after they were caught.
“All right, so maybe I haven’t been the best summer caretaker so far,” Stan admitted. “But I swear, today we’re gonna have some real family fun.”
Despite their reservations, the twins shared a small, intrigued smile. They couldn’t deny they were curious to see what their uncle had in store for the day–just as long as it didn’t end up getting them in trouble with the law again. “Now,” Stan’s smile widened as he wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders. “Who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?”
“Yay!” the twins cheered, excited. At least until Dipper actually realized exactly what Stan had just said. “Wait, what?”
The ride to the lake was a bumpy one, not that Dipper or Mabel were able to see much of it through their blindfolds. Stan was a reckless driver to say the least, which was why it was practically a miracle when the Pines arrived at their destination in one piece. As soon as the car screeched to a stop, Stan escorted them out of it before finally letting them take their blindfolds off to see exactly what their ‘family day’ would entail.
While the twins had been expecting Stan to take them to a bank or a diamond mine or somewhere else where they could help him illegally acquire money, that wasn’t the case. Instead, the town lake stretched out ahead of them, its murky waters shimmering in the mid-morning sun. Countless boats and dinghies floated upon those waters, filled with townsfolk all there to enjoy the very same pastime Stan had brought them there for.
“Ta da!” he proclaimed with a proud, practically excited grin. “It’s fishin’ season!” While he had hoped his niece and nephew would share his excitement, the most they had to offer for him was confusion.
“Fishing?” Mabel questioned.
“What are you playing at, old man?” Dipper raised an eyebrow, suspicious.
“I’m not playing at anything,” Stan assured, surprisingly believably innocent. “You kids will love it. The whole town’s out here! And you know what they say: fishing is some quality family bonding.”
“I don’t think anyone says that,” Mabel said, frowning. “Ever.”
“Grunkle Stan, why do you want to ‘bond’ with us all of the sudden?” Dipper asked. After all, since they’d first arrived, Stan had been rather standoffish with both of them. Aside from his brief bout of appreciation after the centipeetle incident, he hadn’t shown much interest in spending any ‘quality time’ with either one of them in favor of putting them to work at the shack instead. Which of course, made today’s outing even more sudden and strange.
“Come on, this is gonna be great!” Stan encouraged, though the fact that neither of the twins shared his zeal in the slightest wasn’t lost on him. “I know what’ll cheer you sad sacks up,” he smirked as he pulled two fishing hats out of his vest and popped them on both of their heads. “Bam! Custom-made Pines family fishing hats! That’s hand-stitching, you know.”
“No kidding,” Dipper muttered as he and Mabel both pulled their hats off to get a better look. Stan had embroidered the twins' names onto the hats, though Dipper's was shorted to "Dippy" and the L in Mabel peeled itself off as she was holding it. As if the prospect of having to muddle through the mind-numbing boredom of fishing hadn't been bad enough, these embarrassing hats only turned the twins off from it even more. At least until Stan somehow managed to make the entire affair sound even worse than it already was.
“Yup, it’s just gonna be you, me, and those goofy hats on a boat, out on the open lake, for ten hours!”
“ Ten hours?” the twins asked in unified alarm.
“I even brought the joke book!” Stan cheerfully held up his copy of 1001 Yuk 'Em Ups , the "Uncle Approved" edition.
Dipper and Mabel shared a horrified gasp, knowing that the only thing worse than fishing and silly hats were bad uncle jokes . “There has to be a way out of this,” Mabel whispered, desperate and anxious.
Dipper shared his sister’s dread, though it soon turned to hope when he spotted a trio of familiar figures making their way down the shoreline. “There just might be…” he grinned, relieved. He pointed Mabel’s gaze in the direction of who they only hoped could save them from a dull day spent with Stan.
Steven trailed close behind after Amethyst and Pearl as they finally reached the lake. Ever since they’d left the temple, he’d been pressing them with a barrage of curious questions concerning Opal, questions that neither of them were too keen on answering. “So when you fuse, do you turn into a giant giant woman or just a regular-sized giant woman? Does one of you control the right arm and the other control the left?
“Come along, Steven,” Pearl urged over Amethyst’s exasperated groan.
“Wait! These are extremely important questions,” Steven asserted. “What if you eat a hot dog? Whose stomach does it go into? Or do you share the same stomach? That would be gross!”
“Steven, please,” Pearl shook her head, annoyed. “You know Gems don’t need to eat.”
“But Amethyst likes to eat!”
“True ‘dat!” Amethyst proclaimed, laughing,
"So would that mean that Opal would like to eat too?" Steven continued with his endless round of questions. "Or would she only like to eat sometimes, since you don't like to, Pearl?"
“That doesn’t matter right now,” Pearl concluded as they came to a stop on the shore. “What does matter is that we’ve finally reached the lake.”
“And on opening day of fishing season too!” Steven grinned as he spotted the banner hanging from the nearby bait shack. “Cool!”
“So where’s this Water Beetle anyway?” Amethyst asked, absently twirling her hair.
“It’s hard to say for certain…” Pearl mused, looking out over the lake. “For all we know, it could be anywhere around here, even at the bottom of the lake itself.”
"Great," Amethyst said dryly. "Then we better get our swimming caps on, huh, Pearl? After all, you wouldn't want to mess up that 'perfect' point of yours.”
Pearl scowled, raising a hand to cover the tip of her hair. "Actually, it would be completely illogical for us to swim all the way down there. Instead, I was thinking that we could use the nearby resources available to us to craft a vessel that could help us retrieve it. That is, if the beetle is even located in the lake bed… We should probably get to searching around for it first before we-”
“Hey, look who it is!” Steven interrupted, smiling when he finally caught sight of the twins. Ever since they spotted him, they’d discreetly been trying to catch his attention while Stan continued rambling on about the day of fishing ahead of them. “Dipper! Mabel! Mr. Pines!” he called, running over to them. Amethyst and Pearl followed, albeit at a much less eager pace.
“Oh geez…” Stan grumbled to himself, annoyed. “I can’t go one day without having to put up with them, can I?”
At the same time, Dipper and Mabel received Steven with a set of hopeful smiles. An unexpected adventure with him had already set their summer off on a strong note; if they were lucky, maybe he could help them keep that momentum going. Really, anything would be better than being stuck on a boat with their out-of-touch uncle all day; even squaring off against deadly, magical monsters like they had the other day.
“Hey, Steven,” Dipper said as Mabel offered him a cheery wave. “What are you guys doing out here?”
“ Please tell us you aren’t going fishing,” Mabel pleaded in a whisper.
“No, but I wish we were! That sounds like a ton of fun!” Steven said, optimistic. "We're actually here looking for a magical Gem thing called the Water Beetle. It’s-”
“I’m sorry, Steven,” Pearl cut in, resting a hand on Steven’s shoulder. “But there’s no time for you to play with your friends right now. We have to start looking for that Water Beetle.” She turned him around to guide him away from the twins, though not before sending Stan a distrustful scowl that he was more than ready to return in full.
"Yeah," Amethyst added boredly. "The sooner we get this mission done, the better."
"Yeah, well, we can't stand around and chat all day either,” Stan grabbed the twins by their arms, yanking them away from Steven and the Gems. “We have a full day of fishing ahead of us, right kids?”
Dipper and Mabel exchanged a nervous glance, knowing that their window for getting out of fishing was quickly closing. Trying to convince Stan to let them go with Steven and the Gems on their much more interesting adventure would be a hard sell. Fortunately, a new interruption suddenly rang out through the air from the far side of the shore just in time.
“I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!”
“Oh boy,” Amethyst chuckled, elbowing Steven and the twins. “Look out, everyone; crazy old man McGucket is having another one of his ‘episodes’.”
The kids turned their attention to the unhinged elderly man who had just cut his way through a group of fishermen gathered near the dock. He screamed again, frantic as a crowd began to gather to watch his frightened breakdown unfold. “The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!”
Before he could get another panicky word out, McGucket was quickly chased off by the lake ranger and the spray bottle he wielded against him. “Hey!” he scolded, spraying the old man. “What did I tell you about scaring away my customers?! This is your last warning, Dad!”
“But I got proof this time, by gummity!” McGucket protested as he began scrambling down toward the dock. The crowd followed, curious to see exactly what this “proof”, if there was any at all, might be. “Behold!” he motioned to the messy remains of a broken boat only barely resting above the water’s surface. "It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it! It had a long neck like that bird there!" He pointed at Pearl. She blushed, embarrassed as she placed a hand against her neck and shot Amethyst a fierce glare when she heard her laughing beside her. “And wrinkly skin, like this gentleman here!” McGucket pointed out Stan next, who largely hadn’t been listening to the old man’s meltdown at all. “It chewed up my boat to smithereens and then it shim-shamed over to Scuttlebutt Island! You gotta believe me!”
The crowd was silent for a beat as they took the hillbilly’s story in. A few folks were nearly on the verge of believing his claims, at least until the police boat pulled up to the dock with Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland on board.
“Attention all units,” Blubbs began into his intercom. “We got ourselves a crazy old man!”
Just about everyone broke into a round of laughter at the old man’s expense. Defeated, McGucket hung his head in shame as he sulked away, muttering incoherently to himself all the while. “Aw, donkey spittle! Banjo polish!”
The rest of the crowd dispersed soon after, everyone heading back to their boats to get back to fishing. With such a chaotic distraction finally cleared out, Stan was more than ready to do the same. “Well, that happened,” he concluded indifferently. “Now,” he grinned to the twins before he turned his own boat, a small, ramshackle thing that hardly looked like it was seaworthy. “Let’s get this boat untied and get out on the lake!”
Dipper and Mabel decided to largely tune Stan out in favor of turning their attention back to Steven. “Aw, poor Mr. McGucket,” he frowned, genuinely sympathetic for the old man. “I believed his story about the Gibble-… Grubble-… whatever that thing was called!"
“But did you guys hear what he said?” Dipper asked, spurred on by a newfound idea.
“Aw, donkey spittle!” Mabel quoted, swinging her arms just as McGucket had.
“The other thing,” Dipper said. “About the monster. If we can snag a photo of it, then we can split the prize!”
“What prize?” Steven asked, curious.
“This one,” Dipper pulled out the magazine he’d brought along with him, handing it over to Steven. “The winner of this contest gets $1000. And if we win, then each of us would get a little over $300 a piece!”
“Wow! $300?!” Steven gasped, awestruck. “That’s so much money! I don’t even know what I’d do with all of it!”
“Well, I already know what I’m doing with my share!” Mabel practically squealed with excitement. “Four words: Human. Sized. Hamster. Ball. Dipper, I am 100% on board with this!”
“So am I!” Steven readily agreed. “Even if we don’t win, I still want to see a super-huge lake monster! And who knows? Maybe this monster won’t try to kill us!”
“Then it’s on,” Dipper grinned as he put their plan into motion. “Grunkle Stan, change of plans. We're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker!"
"What?" Stan started, confused.
"And can I go with them?" Steven asked Amethyst and Pearl with a hopeful smile. "Please?"
“Only if you count me in!” Amethyst eagerly exclaimed. “I’m always down for a good monster hunt!”
“Yeah!” Steven cheered, quickly roping the twins and Amethyst into his zealous chant of “Monster hunt! Monster hunt! Monster hunt!”
“ Excuse me,” Pearl cut in, giving Amethyst and Steven a stern frown. “But we aren’t going on a ‘monster hunt’. We have a Beetle to find, remember ?”
“Ugh, come on,” Amethyst groaned, rolling her eyes. “Don’t be such a party-pooper, P.”
"I am not being a party-pooper!" Pearl asserted. "I'm simply thinking realistically! For all we know, this 'Gobblewonker' or whatever it is, might not even exist!"
"But Pearl, what if the Gobblewonker is really a Gem monster?" Steven asked. "Then shouldn't we stop it before it can hurt anyone?"
"Well… I suppose, if that was the case, then yes, but-"
“Yay!” Steven exclaimed before Pearl could continue, picking up their cheer from earlier. “Monster hunt! Monster hunt!”
The loud sound of a horn blaring cut through the excitement as a boat, much larger than Stan’s dinghy, pulled up to the dock. “You dudes say something about a monster hunt?”
“Soos!” the kids cheered, glad to see him.
“Wassup, hambones?” he offered the trio a friendly grin from his spot behind the boat’s wheel. “You know, you dudes could totally use my boat for your hunt. It’s got a steering wheel, chairs; normal boat stuff.”
"I bet we could use that boat for Beetle hunting too," Amethyst flashed Pearl a wide, smug grin. "Unless you wanna go for a pretty long swim."
Pearl returned her smirk with another glare, refusing to admit she was right. Really, she’d rather go on that ridiculous “monster hunt” than give Amethyst that kind of satisfaction. She figured the most she could do was try to keep her team focused on their actual mission as opposed to what she believed was nothing more than a wild goose chase. One that she wasn’t at all surprised to find Amethyst of all Gems so easily wrapped up in.
At the same time, Stan was quick to intervene as soon as he noticed Dipper and Mabel heading for Soos’ boat. “Whoa, hold on now,” he began, his tone stern and serious “Remember what we talked about the other day. There’s no way I’m letting you two go on some ‘magical adventure’ with… them ,” he fixed the pair of Gems with a bitter glare.
“But we’re not going with the Gems!” Mabel pointed out. “We’re going with Soos, and Steven and the Gems just so happen to be tagging along.”
“That’s right,” Dipper nodded. “I don’t see why you’d have any problems with that, Grunkle Stan.”
“Well, I do have a problem with it!” Stan snapped, though he swiftly settled down. The last thing he wanted was for their family bonding day to get off on the wrong foot after all. “Just… think this through, will ya? You kids could waste your time on some epic monster-finding quest… or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!”
Dipper and Mabel were silent for a moment as they weighed their options. On one hand, they had Stan and his leaky old dinghy, and the promise of a boring day out on the lake trying to catch fish that probably wouldn't bite all while having to put up with their embarrassing old grunkle. And on the other hand, there was the chance to search for the Gobblewonker, to have a real, exciting adventure that they could actually profit from, all while hanging out with Soos, Steven, and the Gems and exploring the mysterious unknown that lurked underneath the depths of the lake. Neither of them had to put much thought into what option sounded like the most fun.
"So?" Stan asked with a hopeful grin, trusting they’d make the right choice. "Whaddya say?"
“We made the right choice!” Mabel proclaimed as Soos’s boat sped away from the dock with all of them on board. Neither her nor Dipper felt too guilty about leaving Stan behind, figuring that he’d only briefly sulk about being ditched before going off to sullenly fish on his own anyway. Besides, how could they harbor any sort of regrets when a magical monster hunt awaited them alongside Steven and the Gems.
“Yeah!” Steven happily threw an arm around both of the twins’ shoulders. After their struggle against the gnomes and the centipeetles a few days ago, it was a nice change of pace to be going after a monster instead of being chased by one. “We’re gonna find that Gobblewonker!”
“ After we find the Water Beetle,” Pearl insisted firmly. “That’s our first and foremost priority, remember?”
“As if you’d let us forget,” Amethyst reclined back in her chair. “Chill, Pearl. We’ll find the Beetle whenever we find it. Can't you just hang back and go with the flow for once? Who knows? Looking for this monster might actually be fun."
“We're not here for fun," Pearl argued. “We're here on a mission . And maybe if you took things more seriously, then you'd insist on getting it done, like I do.”
By now, Amethyst had largely tuned her teammate’s usual nagging out in favor of turning her attention over to the kids and Soos instead. While Pearl wanted everyone to focus on the Beetle hunt, it was clear their priorities were more skewed toward the monster hunt instead as they began to carve a strategy out for it.
“Alright,” Dipper bega as he paced before the others. “If we want to win this contest, we have to do it right. So think: what’s the number one problem with most monster hunts?”
"Oh! I know!" Steven raised his hand. "When you run out of snacks! That happened to me once when I was on a mission with the Gems and I would have given anything for just a few chips or a cookie!"
"Or if you're a side character," Soos added. "Then you die within the first five minutes of the movie." He paused for a beat before reaching a startling realization. "Dudes, am I a side character!? Do you ever think about stuff like that?"
"No and no," Dipper shot both of their suggestions down. "Camera trouble! That’s why I brought twenty disposable cameras.” He grinned as he ran through all of the places he’d stored his extensive stock. “Two on my ankles, two in my jacket, three for each of you, and one-” his smile widened as he lifted his cap to reveal the final camera resting on his head. “Under my hat. There’s no way we’re gonna miss this.”
“Wow, Dipper,” Pearl said, surprised as he handed her a trio of cameras. “I have to say, your thorough preparedness for this situation is quite impressive.”
“Yeah, you would think something so dorky would be ‘impressive’,” Amethyst muttered, chuckling to herself.
“Thank you,” Dipper said to Pearl, proud that at least one of the Gems appreciated his drive. “Ok, everyone, let’s test those cameras out!”
The others did so, only for things to quickly begin to go wrong. Soos snapped a photo of himself by accident, startling himself with the bright flash as his camera fell out of his hands and into the lake. “Aw, dude!”
“See? This is exactly why we need backup cameras,” Dipper said, far from losing his cool. At least, not yet.
Unfortunately, his hopes were quickly dashed when a seagull flew in low, startling Mabel as she chucked her camera at it. “Ah! Bird!”
“Eighteen!” Dipper kept count, already starting to panic a little. “Ok, guys, I repeat: don’t lose your cameras.”
“Wait, what was that?” Steven asked. He’d just finished dropping a camera over the side of the boat on purpose, thinking that the fish below could use it to take group photos together. “ Do lose the cameras?”
“ Don’t .”
“Dude, I just threw another one away,” Soos confessed.
“Oh, yeah, I kinda thought they were snacks for later…” Amethyst admitted right after swallowing her second camera whole.
“O-okay, fourteen! We still have fourteen-” Dipper stopped short when he threw his fist down, inadvertently crushing one of the cameras in the process. “...Thirteen,” he sighed. “We have thirteen cameras.”
“So what’s the plan?” Mabel asked, already preparing to discard another camera. “Throw more cameras overboard or what?”
“No!” Dipper quickly took it from her, desperate not to lose anymore.”Ok, Mabel and Steven, you guys can be lookouts. Soos can work the steering wheel. Amethyst and Pearl, can you make sure we don't lose any more cameras?"
"Sure thing, dude," Amethyst yawned as she stretched out and closed her eyes, soaking in the sun as she prepared to settle into a nap. Pearl fixed her with an unamused glare, far from pleased with her usual laziness.
"Yes, I can," Pearl pointedly agreed. "And I suppose I'll have to keep an eye out for the Water Beetle as well."
"Really?" Amethyst grinned, cracking one eye open. "Thanks, P. I can always count on you."
“So how are we gonna find the Gobblewonker anyway?” Steven asked, peering out of the side of the boat. The lake’s surface however was just as still and calm as ever, without any signs of a large, looming creature in sight.
“We’re gonna lure it out using this,” Dipper motioned to the large barrel of fish foot resting on the far side of the boat.
"...You dudes think I should taste some?" Soos asked, eyeing the barrel curiously.
A beat of silence passed between the kids before they offered their mutual agreement. “Yeah, ok.”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Do it, Soos!”
“Here goes,” Soos scooped a handful of the food out before giving it a small lick. “Ugh!” he immediately gagged on the foul flavor. “Dude, I don’t know what I expected it to taste like!”
The kids got a good laugh out of this, especially as Amethyst rushed forward to swipe some of the fish food for herself. “I wanna try!” she yelled, leaping headfirst into the barrel and shoving a fistful into her mouth. “Mm! I dunno, Soos; I think this stuff is pretty great!"
While the kids were clearly enjoying Amethyst’s antics, Pearl was far from amused as she continued scouring the lake for any signs of the Water Beetle. At the same time, someone else noticed the noisy fun happening aboard Soos’ boat. And needless to say, Stan was far from happy about it.
“Traitors!” he shouted after the group as the boat sped even further away from his. “Who needs ‘em? I’ll just find my own fishing buddies instead.” He surveyed the nearby lake for anyone who might be willing to join him in place of the twins. “Aha!” he grinned as he spotted a young couple sitting on their own boat not too far away. “There’s my new pals!”
What Stan didn’t know as he drove his boat over to his new “fishing buddies” was that the young man was in the middle of attempting to propose to his girlfriend. A proposal that was rudely interrupted when Stan arrived.
“Hey!” he pulled his boat up alongside theirs, startling them. “You two wanna hear a joke? Here goes: my ex-wife still misses me… but her aim is gettin’ better!” He flashed a wide smile, only for the couple to meet him with shock and disgust at such a distasteful, off-color joke. “Her aim is gettin’ better!” he tried again, only to get the same unsavory result. “Y’see, it's funny because marriage is terrible.”
Without another moment of delay, the couple hurriedly began rowing away, hoping to get as far away from Stan as possible. Not that he really understood why when his sense of humor was obviously the peak of comedy. Or at least, he thought it was. “What did I say?”
Scuttlebutt Island was practically obscured by a thick, ominous fog, one that even the headlights on Soos’ boat couldn’t penetrate as it slowly cut through it. With the vessel already set on its course toward the island, Soos positioned himself at the back of the boat, trying to lure the Gobblewonker in with the fish food as he spilled it over the stern.
The kids, meanwhile, kept up their lookout post near the front of the boat, keeping a close eye out for any signs of the monster. Or at least, Dipper and Mabel were, as Steven looked back to Amethyst and Pearl instead. Their arguing hadn’t really let up since this mission began, a fact that left Steven feeling largely lost in the shuffle. Garnet had instructed him to keep the harmony, but so far, he hadn’t been doing a very good job of it.
So perhaps, it was finally time to try and change that.
“You know…” he said to Amethyst and Pearl, throwing on a small, convincing grin. “I bet Opal would be really helpful in finding the Gobblewonker…”
Pearl sighed, exasperated, as Amethyst simply turned her gaze tightly on the fog-covered waters. "Steven, we only fuse in deadly situations," she reminded him, not noticing as a pelican landed on the railing beside her. "Does this look like a deadly situation to you?" No more than a second after she said this, the pelican suddenly pecked her harshly on the side of her head. "Ow! Hey! Bad pelican!" she scolded the bird as it fluttered its wings and squawked at her. "Shoo!" As the pelican took flight, Amethyst couldn’t hold in her heavy burst of laughter any longer, much to Pearl’s embarrassed aggravation.
"Darn it," Steven hung his head. "I'm never going to get to see Opal…"
“Who’s Opal?” Dipper asked him, confused.
"Opal is Amethyst and Pearl fused together into a giant woman," Steven explained. "I've never seen her before, so I've been trying to convince the two of them to form her all day, but they just don't seem to be getting along…"
"Wait, how does that even work?" Dipper wondered. It seemed the more he learned about the Gems, the more fascinating they became with all of the peculiar powers they seemed to possess. "They don't actually fuse into one person, do they? That’s not–well, I guess they said so themselves. They are basically holograms, so maybe-”
"Who cares?” Mabel cut through her brother’s theorizing. “I wanna see a giant woman! Steven, we gotta convince them to form Opal!"
"Exactly!" Steven agreed, picking up a daring grin as he looked back at the pair of Gems. "And I think I know of a way to do it…"
Amethyst and Pearl were surprised to be pulled out of their ongoing, bitter silence by an upbeat, cheery song, courtesy of none other than Steven. “All I wanna do is see you turn into a giant woman, a giant woman!”
Steven stood between the pair, singing brightly even as the pair glared away from each other. “All I wanna be is someone who gets to see a giant woman.”
“‘All I wanna do is see you turn into a giant woman, a giant woman!”
“All I wanna be is someone who gets to see a giant woman!”
“How does he just… come up with songs on the fly like that?” Dipper asked, baffled as he and Mabel watched Steven’s performance.
“I dunno, but he’s great at it!” Mabel smiled, enthralled. “This one’s super catchy!”
“Oh, I know it’ll be great and I just can’t wait to see the person you are together,” Steven continued as he tried pulling Amethyst and Pearl into a hug. They both only barely tolerated it for his sake, bitterly looking away from each other the second they happened to make awkward eye contact.
“If you give it a chance you could do a huge dance, because you are a giant woman!”
“You might even like being together and if you don’t it won’t be forever-” The pair of Gems finally looked back at each other, both of them blushing before they finally pulled away from Steven–and from each other–entirely.
Steven sighed, but still continued in the hopes that he could still somehow convince them all the same. A feat that was starting to become more and more difficult on all accounts. “But if it were me, I’d really wanna be a giant woman, a giant woman!”
“All I wanna do is see you turn into a-”
“GIANT WOMAN!” Mabel joined him, loudly singing the song’s final words alongside Steven. The melody soon faded into the fog as silence settled back in; silence that seemed even heavier than ever between Amethyst and Pearl.
“I appreciate the… effort you put into that song, Steven,” Pearl began as gently as possible. “But no.”
“Yeah, sorry,” Amethyst said, even if she really wasn’t. “No amount of singing is gonna make me wanna fuse with her .”
Pearl glared harshly at her, crossing her arms and turning away. "Likewise," she said crossly.
“Aw…” Steven and Mabel shared a disappointed sigh. The both sulked back over to join Dipper at the front of the boat, still longing to see Opal in all her supposed glory. Something that, right now at least, seemed as elusive and improbable as the monster they were searching for.
“I really thought that would work,” Steven looked back at the Gems, frowning.
“Maybe next time you need to go bigger ,” Mabel said, already devising a master plan. “I can help! We can do another song, this time with a choreographed dance number, costumes, fireworks, the whole nine yards! If that doesn’t convince them, I don’t know what will.”
“Or maybe you guys could just let up a little?” Dipper suggested. “I wanna see how this whole ‘fusion’ thing works as much as you do, but it’s pretty clear Pearl and Amethyst aren’t up for doing anything together. They don’t always argue like this, do they, Steven?”
“No, not… always ,” Steven rubbed his arm. “But… they don’t always get along either. They’re really different from each other, but I just think that’ll make them coming together to form Opal even more amazing!”
“...If you say so,” Dipper said, not entirely convinced. “By the way, aren’t you two supposed to be on lookout duty?”
Almost as soon as he asked this, the boat suddenly, violently ran aground. Its bow dug into the sand of Scuttlebutt Island’s fog-enshrouded shore, throwing just about everyone off balance until it finally came to an abrupt stop.
“Look out!” Steven called, much too late.
“We’re look-out geniuses!” Mabel proclaimed, high-fiving Steven as the both hopped off the boat onto the shore. “Hamster ball, here I come!”
While not very large, Scuttlebutt Island was densely forested, which made traversing it a bit of a challenge. The Gems led the way, just in case any danger confronted the group, monster-related or otherwise. While silence as thick as the fog engulfing the trees settled upon the group, it was soon broken by a stark, unnerving noise echoing from somewhere in the distance.
“W-what was that?” Soos asked with a concerned frown.
“Oh! I bet it was the monster!” Steven exclaimed, running to catch up with Amethyst and Pearl. “Quick! You guys have to form Opal! If you don’t, then it’ll eat us all!”
“Steven…” both Gems groaned. If they didn’t see eye-to-eye on anything else, at least they could agree that Steven’s persistence on them fusing was starting to get old.
Once again, that sinister, snarling sound rang out, sending chills down Soos’ spine as he leaned in to whisper to the twins. “Dudes, I dunno about this… Maybe this isn’t worth it…”
“Not worth it?” Dipper echoed, appalled. “Guys, imagine what would happen if we got that picture! It's not just about the money; it's about the fame, the notoriety…”
"And being able to rub it in Grunkle Stan's face that we had way more fun monster hunting than we would have had fishing!" Mabel added with a grin.
"You guys are right!" Steven enthusiastically agreed. "We just gotta look at this from a different angle. In fact… I bet Opal would be tall enough to get a great view over the entire island. That way we could find the Gobblewonker and the Water Beetle all at once!"
"We don't need Opal to find the Water Beetle or the monster," Pearl asserted.
"Aw… but can you do it anyway?" Steven practically begged. "Pleeease? It would be easier, wouldn't it?"
“Not as easy as this!” Amethyst pulled her whip out of her gem, using it to cut through a thicket of branches blocking their path forward.
"Wow, Amethyst, that was a really good idea!" Mabel exclaimed, impressed.
"Hah, I know," Amethyst flashed a smug grin Pearl’s way. "I'm full of 'em."
As the group ventured through the thicket, the unknown, unsettling noises suddenly grew louder than ever before. As sure a sign as any that they were getting closer to something –hopefully the monster they’d come all this way to find. “Guys, wait!” Dipper stopped the group, already pulling a camera out of his vest. “This could be it!”
“Yes!” Steven and Mabel cheered in an excited whisper. Their enthusiasm wasn’t exactly shared by Soos as he grabbed a sharp stick, intending to use it to protect the kids if need be. Likewise, Pearl and Amethyst both took up their own weapon, just in case this alleged monster was real and a threat. At this point, they weren’t sure what to expect, but they figured they’d be better off safe than sorry given how unpredictable they knew Gravity Falls could often be.
As they approached the island’s far shore, a tall, very monster-like silhouette began to appear amidst the cloak of fog covering the water. Not wanting it to spot them, the group crowded behind a nearby log, preparing their cameras for the moment of truth. “Ok, everyone ready?” Dipper asked, and as soon as the others nodded their support, he issued the bold command to move out. “Go!”
Soos was the first to let out a brazen battle cry as he jumped out into the open, snapping a barrage of photos at random. The kids followed, largely doing the same as they made a beeline for the shore with the Gems not too far behind. But as they reached the water, it soon became clear that their “monster” wasn’t actually a monster at all. Instead, it was the wreckage of an old wooden boat, sticking high out of the water as a group of beavers happily cavorted upon it.
“Aw, beavers!” Steven smiled. “They’re so cute!”
“But… I don’t understand,” Dipper shook his head as he lowered his camera. “What was that noise then? I know I heard a monster noise!”
The answer to that question came from one of the beavers,haphazardly playing with an old, rusted chainsaw it had somehow gotten its paws on. “Oh, sweet!” Amethyst laughed as Soos snapped a handful of photos of them. “Beaver with a chainsaw!”
“Maybe that old guy was crazy after all…” Dipper sighed, realizing they’d wasted all this time on nothing.
“He did use the word ‘scrapdoodle’...” Mabel added, just as disappointed.
"Well, it just goes to show that you shouldn't believe everything you hear," Pearl spoke up with a small, satisfied grin. "Now we can finally put all this ‘monster’ business behind us and focus on finding the Water Beetle like we should have been doing all this time."
"Yeah, yeah," Amethyst boredly waved her hand. "We'll find the beetle. Quit obsessing over it."
"I am not obsessing!" Pearl snapped. "I'm simply acknowledging that we need to find it! It could be anywhere on this lake and we still don't have the slightest lead as to where it is!"
"Maybe you should freak out some more. That's really gonna help us find it."
Pearl’s fists curled into tight fists at her sides, her frustration mounting more and more by the minute. "I can't believe your attitude, Amethyst. All day long, you've been slouching around doing nothing to help!"
"Hey, it's not my fault we can't find the dumb Beetle!" Amethyst said defensively. "Why do you have to make things worse by squawking at me!?"
"I do NOT squawk!"
"Yeah, you do! You're squawking at me and commenting on my posture!"
"That wasn't squawking! THIS is squawking! SQUAWK! SQUAWK!"
The pair of Gems only continued to argue from there, all but ignoring Steven as he worriedly watched them on the sidelines. Not only had they failed to find the Gobblewonker, but he’d also failed to keep the harmony between his teammates as things only continued to get worse between them. And at this point, try as he might to come up with some way to turn things around for his team, for his friends … Steven knew he had no idea where to even start.
"Look, when you're threading the line—a lot of people don't know this—but you wanna use a barrel knot," Stan instructed the young boy he had happened upon and decided to teach his coveted fishing tips to. The very same tips he had wanted to teach Dipper and Mabel before they had abandoned him. "That's a secret from one fishing buddy to another!"
"Uh… I… who are you exactly?" the obviously frightened boy asked.
"Just call me your Grunkle Stan!" Stan proclaimed, giving the nervous boy a cheerful pat on the back.
"Sir? SIR?" the boy's mother angrily cut in. Along with his father, she was standing just on the other end of the family's small boat, obviously disapproving of the interaction between them. " Why are you talking to our son? If you don't leave right now, I'm calling the police!"
Stan chuckled nervously upon catching the suspicious glares of the boy's parents. "Uh… you see, the thing about that is…" he trailed off, before quickly switching his boat's motor on and speeding away as fast as he could. The last thing he wanted was to get the police involved again .
"Go bother your own kids!" the boy's mother shook her fist warningly as Stan's boat puttered across the lake, carrying only one lonely passenger upon it.
"You know, Pearl, I think that old guy was right about you being a bird, because you sure do squawk like one!"
"Stop accusing me of squawking! At the very least I get things done efficiently, unlike you , Amethyst!"
"Hey! I get things done and I have fun doing it!"
Steven frowned back at the pair of Gems behind him, who were somehow still arguing just as fiercely as ever. "Darn it…" he sighed as he sat upon the shore of the island alongside Mabel, absently drawing in the sand with his finger. "I can't believe we're not gonna get to see Opal or the Gobblewonker…"
"Tell me about it…" Mabel said, just as disappointed as he was. At least Soos was having fun as he continued to snap pictures of the beavers out on the wrecked boat, somehow blocking out Pearl and Amethyst's noisy bickering.
"What are we gonna tell Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked as he sat upon one of the large rocks resting in the water close to the shore. "We ditched him over nothing." With nothing better to do, he picked up one of the smaller pebbles resting on the stone he was sitting on and skipped it across the surface of the lake.
No more than a moment later, a stark, sudden ripple passed over the surface of the water, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Dipper. “Hey, did you guys hear that?” he asked Steven and Mabel. While neither of them had felt the first tremor, the second, much stronger one rattled the ground, throwing Dipper off the rock he was sitting in and into the shallow water surrounding it. He quickly swam the short distance back to the shore as Mabel helped him out while Soos and Steven turned their attention back toward the lake in newfound alarm.
“Wait…” Steven strained his eyes to make out the large, unknown shape moving through the mist head of them. “Is that…?”
“That’s gotta be it this time!” Dipper grabbed another camera, more than ready to snap the elusive, prize-winning photo he was after. It didn’t take him very long to realize he was the only one, however, as Mabel, Steven, and Soos all took a step back when another sinister growl sounded from the lake. “Come on, you guys! This is our chance!” he urged, knowing they could use all the backup photos they could get.
"Dipper…?" Mabel whispered worriedly as she watched the monstrous figure begin to rise out of the lake.
"Dude…" Soos breathed in obvious shock as his jaw dropped nearly to the ground.
"Uh… Amethyst? Pearl?" Steven asked, his voice shaking a bit. As distracted as they were by their ongoing argument, neither of the Gems heard him, nor did they notice the frightening beast preparing to strike.
Until, of course, it finally did.
Dipper turned back around just in time to see the fearsome creature face-to-face as it finally fully emerged from the fog. The Gobblewonker certainly lived up to the terror surrounding it. It was a massive, snake-like beast, complete with a wide maw filled with sharp, serpentine fangs. Its piercing, empty golden eyes peered down at the group down on the shore as it reared back, ready to swallow its newfound prey whole.
The beast let out a bone-chilling roar, one that finally caught Pearl and Amethyst’s attention as their bickering died out altogether. Likewise, as frozen in fear as he was, Dipper didn’t even notice the camera slip out of his hands until Mabel and Steven rushed in to grab him and drag him out of harm’s way.
“Run!” Soos shouted, kicking the inevitable chase off. The group began sprinting back toward the opposite shore as fast as their legs could carry them. The Gobblewonker was quick to follow after them, rampaging through the forest as it left a trail of destruction in its wake. Pearl made an attempt at landing a hit on the creature by tossing a spear at its head. Only for the Gobblewonker to swallow the entire weapon whole.
"This thing isn't a Gem monster!" Pearl cried, frantic.
"Who cares?!" Amethyst shouted back. "We gotta take it down, or we'll be as good as fish food!"
"You know what you guys could do?" Steven asked with an eager smile as he ran alongside them.
"Not now, Steven!” Both of the Gems quickly, sternly turned him down.
The Gobblewonker let out another fierce, furious roar, snapping its massive jaws down at the kids. Mabel only narrowly avoided them by hopping onto Soos’s back, while Steven stumbled forward, only keeping his footing thanks to Amethyst propping him back up. At the same time, Dipper attempted to run backward, aiming his camera up at the Gobblewonker to snap an up-close and personal picture of it. That effort was quickly thwarted when he tripped over a rock, sending the camera flying out of his hands.
“The picture!” he jumped back to his feet, running back to get the camera. Before he could even get close, Soos suddenly grabbed him by the back of his vest to keep him from throwing himself into further danger. “Soos!” he protested, struggling against his secure hold.
“Dude, if it makes you feel any better, I got a ton of pictures of those beavers!” Soos said between heavy breaths.
“Why would that make me feel any better?!”
Soon enough, the island’s opposite shore came into view, alongside Soos’ boat. No one hesitated to hop on board as Soos shoved it back into the water, before scrambling up onto it and steering it away from the shore. The Gobblewonker didn’t hesitate to follow them into the lake, determined to catch up to them and claim its slippery prey.
"All right!" Dipper took up a spot near the back of the boat with another camera in hand. "Here we go." However, as he looked through the viewfinder, he let out a dismayed scoff at what he saw. "Cracked lens!? Soos! Quick, get a photo!"
Soos did quite the opposite of that as he continued to steer the boat backwards, tossing all of his spare cameras at the Gobblewonker in the hopes that one would strike it. Amethyst joined him, letting out a wild battle cry as one of her cameras actually managed to hit the monster in its snout, enraging it even more.
"Yeah, that's right!" Amethyst brazenly challenged. "Oh, what? You want some more? Well, then take this!" she yelled as she threw another one of her cameras at the beast.
"Amethyst!" Pearl admonished, knowing she was only making their dire situation worse.
"What are you guys doing!?" Dipper panicked. He had no idea how many cameras were left now, though he imagined it wasn't that many at the rate they were going.
"Oh, don't worry, dude!" Soos reassured. "I still got one left!" He tossed his last camera Dipper's way, but his aim was off. It missed him and instead crashed into the nearby cliffside, shattering to pieces.
The Gobblewonker was clearly tired of playing games with its prey as it dove down into the water, deep enough so that it could no longer be seen. As Soos continued to push the boat as fast as it would go, the kids and the Gems all kept close to the railing as they peered into the water, keeping a close lookout for the monster that could easily swallow the boat whole if it managed to catch up with them. As distracted as they all were, none of them noticed as they sped straight past Stan’s boat, nearly knocking him off of it altogether.
“Hey!” he shouted after them, frustrated. Not that his own niece and nephew likely even cared amidst the “exciting” adventure they were having with Soos and the Gems. Something far more exciting than he knew he could ever offer them. With that in mind, it wasn’t surprising why Dipper and Mabel would choose them over him.
After all, it wasn’t like this was the first time he’d lost something to the Gems.
"Guys, I know you're still not really getting along, but don't you think now would be the perfect time to form Opal?" Steven pleaded with the Gems. Somewhere in the water behind them, the Gobblewonker briefly emerged, a sure sign that it was gaining on them far too quickly for comfort.
In light of the danger they were in, Pearl and Amethyst knew they really didn’t have too many other options. The Gobblewonker was too big and too vicious of a threat for either of them to conquer on their own. Which meant they had to do it together , whether they wanted to or not.
“Guys! Guys!” Steven grabbed Dipper and Mabel, forcing their attention away from the Gobblewonker and toward the Gems instead. “They’re gonna do it! They’re gonna fuse!”
“Steven, I don’t think we have time to focus on this right-”
“ Yes !” Mabel cut Dipper off, stars in her eyes. “Finally!”
Amethyst and Pearl began with a bow, one that soon split into two very different dancing styles. While Pearl performed an elegant spin, Amethyst shook her hips and spun about wildly. Pearl grumbled to herself, annoyed, as Amethyst grabbed her and tried pulling her in to finish their dance and fuse. The pair tripped together as a white light overtook both of their forms, captivating Steven, Dipper, and Mabel alike as they watched on in awe. And yet, instead of the long-awaited Opal, Amethyst and Pearl emerged from the light as it dissipated, falling away from each other onto the deck of the boat.
"So you wanna try that again?" Amethyst asked sourly. "With less hitting me in the face this time?"
"Well, it would have worked if your movements weren't so erratic and formless," Pearl countered just as coldly.
"So it's all my fault?" Amethyst asked as she got up and stormed over to her teammate. "You totally weren't even trying to sync with my dancing. You should know how I dance by now!"
Pearl practically shoved Amethyst away from her as Steven rushed forward to intervene. "Stop!" he cried, desperate for them to simply get along at this point. "Come on, guys! Please stop fighting! If you can't get along with each other, then we might never get to see your awesome fusion powers!" He paused for a moment as the Gobblewonker unleashed another fearsome roar. "And we might get eaten by a giant lake monster!"
Almost as soon as Steven said this, that exact thing happened. The Gobblewonker rushed at the boat, swiping its maw at the group gathered near the back of it. While Amethyst and Pearl were clear of its path and Dipper and Mabel managed to leap out of the way just in time, Steven wasn’t so lucky. The Gobblewonker entrapped him in its wide jaw, and in one swift movement, it hoisted him off the boat and swallowed him whole.
“ Steven!” Everyone let out a shocked, frightened cry. There was no time to do much of anything, even really react to what had just happened as the Gobblewonker came in for yet another attack. Its sharp teeth tore several holes into the side of the boat, and as water began to pour out of them, it was clear their vessel wouldn’t last for much longer at this rate.
“What do we do?! What do we do?!” Amethyst shouted, distraught over what had happened to Steven.
“I… I don’t know!” Pearl admitted, her eyes wide as she stared back at the Gobblewonker. They had no way of even knowing if Steven was still alive somewhere inside of its gut, but they could only hope that was the case. And if he was, then they had to do whatever they could to rescue him–and fast.
“Uh, I think it’s kinda obvious what you guys need to do!” Mabel shouted, anxious. “You’ve gotta form Opal and save Steven!”
The Gems exchanged a glance, both of them reaching the same conclusion at the same time. Even if they didn’t always see eye-to-eye with each other, there was one thing they could always agree on: keeping Steven safe. “She’s right,” Pearl said earnestly. “There’s no room for failure this time. We have to do this; for Steven.”
“For Steven,” Amethyst agreed, extending her hand out to her.
With that, their dance began anew, not that Dipper, Mabel, and Soos were able to pay much attention to it. The boat was approaching the waterfall at a rapid pace, and with the Gobblewonker still in hot pursuit, they didn’t have many other options on where to go. Unsure of if there was anything but a solid cliff awaiting them behind it, the trio braced themselves for a brutal impact. One that never actually came.
Instead of striking the waterfall and whatever was beyond it, they found themselves hoisted up off the sinking boat and into the air instead. Dipper and Mabel panicked at first, believing that the Gobblewonker had gotten ahold of them just as it had Steven. It was only as they dared to look up that they found that instead of being eaten, they’d been rescued –
By none other than Opal .
“Oh. My. Gosh ,” Mabel gasped in a stunned whisper as she took in the sight of the fabled fusion. “GIANT WOMAN!”
“No way…” Dipper gaped, just as awestruck as Opal kept them in her secure hold.
“Dudes, this has gotta be the coolest way anyone’s ever been rescued from certain doom, hands down,” Soos noted in stark bewilderment.
As for Opal herself, was easily 20 feet tall, if not more, with more than enough features to make it more than clear she was Amethyst and Pearl all at once. But as much as she was them, she was also someone else entirely. Her long, white hair blew in a ponytail behind her as she clung onto the cliffside near the falls, holding Soos and the twins in three of her four massive arms. She bore both Amethyst and Pearl’s gems, now cast in a color to match her pale lavender skin while her clothes carried hints of each of them as well. Sure enough, she was exactly what Steven had said she’d be: a fusion, in every sense of the word.
Opal spoke not a word, glaring down at the Gobblewonker as it continued speeding straight at them. She kept her protective hold on the three humans in her grip as she dove through the waterfall, gracefully landing in the cave on the other side. She didn’t sink into the water filling it, instead standing solidly upon its surface as she safely set the trio down on the edge of the cave.
“Stay low,” she instructed them, her voice deep, yet calm. The Gobblewonker arrived seconds after, crashing straight into the mouth of the cave only for its large body to stop halfway through, unable to clear it.
"It's stuck?" Mabel asked in disbelief. She glanced back to Opal, who offered no answer as she simply fixed the Gobblewonker with an icy, piercing stare.
Dipper breathed a laugh of relief at this, watching as the Gobblewonker struggled to break free from the cave entrance before a sudden realization struck him. "Wait, it's stuck?" he asked, acting fast. He patted himself down in search of a camera, only to find that they were all gone. That is save for one. Dipper was quite surprised when, out of all of them, Opal was the one who reached down and lifted his cap up to reveal the camera he had forgotten he had stored there.
"Oh, right! Thanks," he said to Opal, who gave him a small, brief smile in return.
"Did you get any good ones?" Mabel asked her brother after he had snapped several photos of the trapped monster.
"They're all good ones!" Dipper exclaimed, knowing that any one of these pictures could easily win the photo contest.
"Woo!" Mabel shouted triumphantly. "Hamster ball!"
As soon as Dipper was done snapping his photos, Opal stepped forward, knowing all too well Steven still had to be saved. From both of her gemstones, she called upon Pearl’s spear and Amethyst’s whip, bringing them together to form a single weapon all her own. A magnificent longbow formed in two of her hands, and as she took aim at the Gobblewonker, an arrow of pure light burst into existence under her other pair.
“Ok, I’ll admit it,” Dipper whispered, his eyes wide with awe. “Opal definitely lived up to all of the hype.”
“And then some!” Mabel added, her excitement only growing as Opal pulled her arrow back. Magical energy charged around its radiant tip, and once it had reached its powerful peak, Opal finally let it fly straight into the Gobblewonker’s face.
The monster reeled back, screaming and sputtering as its head fell into the water. Strangely, a plume of black smoke erupted from it as the light from Opal’s arrow burned its “scales”. Or rather, the fabricated scales meant to cover the metallic framework underneath it.
"What the…?" Dipper walked past Opal towards the Gobblewonker and touched its side. Sure enough, he felt nothing but cold, solid metal as opposed to smooth, slimy scales. "Huh?"
"Whoa…" Mabel said as she looked at the Gobblewonker's face. By now, the damage Opal’s arrow had done to it was clear as its facade at all but melted away, revealing even more machinery "What's going on here?"
Still curious, Dipper tentatively knocked on the Gobblewonker's side, only to hear nothing more than a hollow noise, further confirming his suspicions. Wanting to learn more, he climbed up onto the monster itself, disregarding the potential danger.
"Careful, dude!" Soos called with concern.
"I've got this! Hold on!" Dipper reassured as he climbed onto the monster's other side, only to make a startling discovery. "Hey, guys! Come check this out!"
Mabel and Soos quickly joined up, and even Opal leaned forward to see what was happening. As if things couldn’t get any stranger, there was a small handle on the Gobblewonker’s side, which Dipper turned to open the hatch it led to. As the door fully opened, the group was met with the surprising sight of who had been behind this “monster” all along:
None other than Old Man McGucket.
"Work the billows and the… eh?" the hillbilly muttered to himself as he frantically worked the rather complex array of switches and buttons inside of the Gobblewonker. Upon realizing that the trapdoor had been opened, he spun around, shocked that he had somehow been found out. "Aw, banjo polish!"
"Wha—you?!" Dipper exclaimed, bewildered by such a bizarre turn of events. Mabel and Soos shared his confusion, and even Opal raised an eyebrow in a silent show of bewilderment. "You made this? Why?"
"Well, I… I… uh…" McGucket stammered, looking for a viable excuse but finding none. "I just wanted attention."
Before anyone else could ask any further questions, Steven suddenly poked his head out from underneath the Gobblewonker's metal interior. He was thankfully unharmed and seemingly calm as he greeted his friends. "Oh, hey guys! What's up?"
"Steven!" Everyone exclaimed, more than relieved to see him safe and sound.
"Wait, wait, wait," Dipper said, still trying to make sense of all this. "Steven, how are you ok? We saw this thing eat you alive!"
"Oh, well I thought I was a goner too until I found Mr. McGucket controlling the monster," Steven explained, still smiling. "And even he gave me this in exchange for helping him run it!" He pulled something out of his pocket: a small, insect-like object with a turquoise Gem encrusted on its back.
"I found that there doo-hicky while lootin' for spare parts for my robut here!" McGucket said, oblivious.
"The Water Beetle!" Opal exclaimed as she stepped closer. Steven’s jaw dropped as he looked upon the fusion, stars in his eyes as he realized that his wish had come true after all, even if he wasn’t there to see it happen.
“Opal?!” he exclaimed, amazed. Opal simply nodded as she held out her large hand to him to help him out of the robot safely. “...Do you… know who I am?” Steven asked her shyly. After all, with his limited knowledge on fusion, he had no way of knowing if she retained any of Pearl or Amethyst’s memories.
And yet…
Opal chuckled softly as she sang a quiet, gentle reprise of Steven’s song from earlier. “All you wanna do is see me turn into…”
Steven gasped in joyful surprise as he finished the melody in a bright whisper. “A giant woman!”
“Aww!” Mabel gushed, charmed by such a touching exchange.
Dipper, on the other hand, still wanted answers as he turned back to McGucket. “Wait, I still don’t understand what’s going on here.”
"Well, first I just hootenannied up a biomechanical brain wave generator," McGucket began, going into the details of the inner workings of his robot. "And then I learned to operate a stick-shift with ma beard!"
"Okay, yeah, but why did you do it?" Mabel asked.
"Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays attention to you anymore," McGucket glanced down and removed his hat. "My own son hasn't visited me in months! So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robut!" He broke into a maniacal bout of laughter before slipping into a morose sigh. "In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the lengths us old-timers go through to spend a little quality time with our family."
The only thing Dipper and Mabel were able to think of when they heard this was Stan. Though he had an odd, almost offputting way of showing it, he had indeed put thought and effort into trying to have a genuine bonding experience with them. From taking a full day off work, to handcrafting hats for them, no matter how tacky they may have been, it was clear that he cared . And how had they repaid him for that? By ditching him at the first chance they got, leaving him all alone for the day without a second thought.
Soos was the first to point that fact out with a small, awkward laugh. “Dude, I guess the real lake monster is you two. Sorry, that was like–boom–just popped into my head there.”
“So did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?” Steven asked McGucket.
"No, sir, I got to work straight on the robut!" he proclaimed with a proud grin as a projector rose up from the Gobblewonker's side, showing off blueprints of his past inventions. "I made lots of robuts in my day! Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron, or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party and I constructed an eighty ton shame bot that exploded the entire downtown area! Well, it's time to get back to work on my death ray!" he ducked back down into the robot's interior to continue on his latest, no doubt dangerous project. "Any of you kids got a screwdriver?"
"Well, so much for the photo contest," Dipper sighed as pulled out his camera once more. Afterall, they couldn't very well submit a picture of a monster that was nothing more than a robot and still expect to win.
"You know, I still have one camera left," Steven smiled as he handed that camera over to Dipper.
"What do you wanna do with it?" Mabel asked a question that both her and Dipper already knew the answer to. And this time, they had no doubts about exactly who they wanted to spend the rest of the day with.
Stan let out a defeated sigh as he began steering his boat back toward the dock. Not only had he failed to catch a single fish, he’d also failed to find anyone even remotely interested in fishing with him. The twins, wherever they were, could catch up with him after their monster hunt, or whatever they were doing, was over. Not that he even cared at this point. They’d already shown him how much they cared about him, so why bother concerning himself with them?
“Hey! Over here!” Stan jumped as a massive shadow suddenly rose over his boat. He turned, nearly falling out of his dinghy entirely at the sight of the giant, four armed woman somehow standing solidly upon the surface of the water just behind him.
“What the–?!” he cut himself off when he spotted Steven, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos sitting casually upon her arms and shoulders. “Kids?! What the heck is goin’ on here? Who–or what is that ?” he stared up at Opal, confounded. “Don’t tell me she’s the ‘monster’ you went looking for. I mean, don’t get me wrong, she’s scary, but not that scary.”
“Hm…” Opal pursed her lips, both amused and disgruntled. But as a fusion of few words, she let it slide; this time, anyway.
Steven laughed as he offered an explanation for Stan. “This is Opal! She’s actually Amethyst and Pearl, fused into one giant Gem! Isn’t she the coolest?”
Stan sat in baffled silence for a moment or two before he ultimately shrugged. “Eh, I dunno if I’d call anything involving Pearl ‘cool’.” He ignored the critical look Opal sent his way, instead shifting his focus to the twins. “So let me guess. You two have been livin’ it up running around the lake with this big ol’ broad here and playing spin the bottle with Soos, right?”
“Actually…” Dipper scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. “We spent all day trying to find a legendary dinosaur.”
“But we realized the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here!” Mabel brightly proclaimed.
“Save your sympathy!” Stan exclaimed bitterly. “I've been having a great time without you! Makin' friends, talking to my reflection… I even had a run-in with the lake police! Guess I gotta wear this ankle monitor now.” He held up his ankle to reveal the beeping brace clasped around it. "So that'll be fun."
“So… I guess there isn’t room in that boat for three more?” Dipper asked, apprehensive.
Stan hesitated, trying to remain stoic and firm. He quickly broke, however, when he met the sincerely apologetic pouts both twins were sending his way. “You knuckleheads ever see me thread a hook with my eyes closed?” he asked as a small smile slipped onto his face.
“Five bucks says you can’t do it!” Dipper challenged.
“You’re on!” Stan readily accepted. At the same time, Opal set the twins and Soos down into Stan’s boat, allowing Steven to keep his proud perch upon her shoulder.
“Five more bucks says you can’t do it with your eyes closed, plus me singing at the top of my lungs!” Mabel added zealously.
“I like those odds!” Stan grinned, though it soon fell into a skeptical look as he eyed Opal once more. “You sure that tall drink of water there is up for fishing?”
“Oh yeah!” Steven nodded enthusiastically. “Opal’s great at fishing! Right?”
Opal proved that point as she plunged both of her lower arms into the water, pulling out two large handfuls of fish. “Pfft, showoff,” Stan huffed, though he was still smiling.
"Okay, everyone, get together," Dipper called as he held his camera up to snap a group photo. Even Opal and Steven managed to squeeze into the frame as everyone shared the same bright smile. "Say fishing!"
"Fishing!" they all shouted as the picture was snapped, the first of what would be many more.
From there, the rest of the afternoon was underway. Unlike their hunt for the Gobblewonker, this adventure was much safer, yet it somehow ended up being even funner , something that the twins could have never expected.
As it turned out, fishing was actually a decently good time, especially when Stan made good on his word and baited his hook with his eyes closed. The joke book that Stan had brought along actually turned out to contain quite a few side-splitters. A few of them made even Opal crack a smile as Steven nearly fell off her shoulder several times laughing at them.
As for Opal, she made the fishing experience all the more interesting as she performed a graceful dance atop the surface of the water at Steven and Mabel's request, which Dipper managed to catch several great pictures of. And of course, considering they were fishing with Stan, the trip was not without its mischievous escapades. After trying to steal a few fish from another nearby family, they were nearly chased off the lake by the police. The officers were quick to flee, however, upon being intimidated by Opal's towering, imposing presence. At the end of the day, not only did they catch plenty of fish, but even more memories that would last long after they left the lake.
As the sun began to set, Opal led the way towards the shore, with Stan's boat gliding across the water not too far behind her. Both Dipper and Mabel sat in front of Stan and Soos, both of them relaxed and content with the day they had had. In fact, the calm of the evening was only broken by the boat suddenly, softly shaking, something that didn’t go unnoticed by the twins.
"Whoa!" Mabel exclaimed as she glanced down at the water.
"What was that?" Dipper asked, sitting up a bit.
Mabel simply shrugged, and Dipper ultimately did the same as he relaxed once more, knowing that not all mysteries could be solved.
Little did either of them know that, far underneath their boat, one of the last disposable cameras was still sinking towards the bottom of the lake. Only for it to be caught by the maw of a real massive lake monster lurking far below the murky depths…
Garnet stood at the base of the temple hill, watching as the Pines returned to the shack after their successful fishing day. Not long after them, Opal and Steven emerged from the woods, with the latter waving farewell to his friends as the fusion headed for the temple. Garnet kept her post, her stoic expression unchanging as Opal helped Steven off her shoulder so he could run to meet her.
“Hi, Garnet!” he called happily. “We’re back!”
Garnet only briefly acknowledged him before glancing back up at Opal expectantly. “The Water Beetle.”
Opal’s usually calm exterior crumbled as she let out an alarmed gasp. “I don’t have it!” In an instant, a bright light engulfed her as Amethyst and Pearl abruptly fell apart, their fusion over, at least for now.
“Amethyst! You got distracted!” Pearl accused, her eyes wide.
“Hey! You were the one getting carried away with all those fancy backflips!” Amethyst shot back just as hotly.
“Guys, wait!” Steven cut in before another argument could break out. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the Water Beetle to Garnet. “I’ve got it!”
Pearl and Amethyst could only gape at each other, bewildered as Garnet took the Water Beetle and bubbled it alongside the Earth Beetle she had found. “Opal always has been very forgetful,” she noted, finally cracking a small smile. “Good job, Steven. I see you also helped your teammates fuse.”
“Yep!” Steven proclaimed with a proud grin. “And all I had to do was get eaten by a robotic lake monster!”
“Nice work,” Garnet nodded, turning to head back into the temple. “You’ll be great at fusing someday.”
“Yeah!” Steven held his smile. He began to follow his team, though he stopped dead in his tracks as he realized exactly what Garnet had just told him.
“Wait! I can do that too?!”
Notes:
Don't forget to comment! Next time, Sugilite, manotaurs, and more!
Chapter 5: Strong in the Real Way
Summary:
Inspired by the mighty Sugilite, Steven and Dipper try to learn what it means to be strong by a group of rowdy manotaurs. Meanwhile, Mabel and Connie participate in a local street art contest.
Notes:
Wow, we're just plowing through what used to be arc 1 huh? Kinda fast tracking a lot of these earlier chapter so we can get to the more interesting stuff. Even so, I do like how this turned out, even though a lot of it is similiar to the original version of this chapter (with some elements of other episodes that aren't being adapted into new UF added in, to cover bases). Still, enjoy some antics with manotaurs and Sugilite and everything in between!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
TLABP AMVWHMBS QL AAFJ IYL NRJYLQYMW
XJOK ELZKMGLY KSMKMKB YBCMGKLB UN XQGH
Stars were already in Steven’s eyes long before he and the Gems warped in to their destination. He wasn’t brought on missions that often, so any time the Gems did let him come along for the ride, he readily leapt at the chance. Tonight’s mission wasn’t going to be anything too adventurous or dangerous–more of a routine inspection than anything else, according to Garnet. Even so, that didn’t stop Steven from being beyond excited for it just the same.
“Whoa…” Steven gasped, wonderstruck when they arrived. The sprawling sands of the vast desert stretched out beyond the warp pad. Amidst the expanse, a crystalline structure rose up high into the starry skies, practically glowing in the light of the full moon. From its tip, a thin beam of light stretched even higher into the sky, eventually disappearing into space altogether. It was truly an impressive sight, though Steven had come to expect nothing less when it came to the mythical locales the Gems took him too. “What kind of magical place of mystery is this?” he asked, craning his neck to stare at the tower’s tip.
“Oh, I’m so glad you asked!” Pearl grinned, always eager to share Gem-related knowledge with Steven. “This was once a communication hub, used to send messages among Gem-kind! But lately, it’s begun transmitting bursts of electromagnetic interference!”
“What’s that mean?”
“It’s hurting television,” Garnet explained much more simply.
“Oh no!” Steven cried, alarmed. He leapt off the warp pad, running past the Gems as they headed to the tower. “We have to do something, guys! We can’t let television die!” With a determined shout, Steven shoved his weight against one of the tower’s load-bearing pillars. Despite his best efforts, however, the sturdy structure didn’t show any signs of budging.
“Sorry, dude,” Amethyst hoisted him up and set him aside. “But we need a Steven at least…” She smirked mischievously, using her shapeshifting powers to turn into Steven, albeit a marginally buffer version of him. “ This strong for the job!”
Steven gasped, amazed. “It’s all the me I could be!”
Amethyst laughed, turning back to the tower as she gave it a hefty punch. A small crack rippled through it, but it did little else to wear the structure down in any sort of meaningful way. “Amethyst,” Pearl spoke up, shaking her head disapprovingly. “We could be here all day taking these pillars down individually.”
“Ugh,” Amethyst groaned as she shifted back into her usual form. “I hate it when you’re right, You get this look on your face–” She paused to meet the aggravatingly smug grin Pearl was sending her way. “Yeah, that’s the one.”
“What we need is a well thought-out plan…” Pearl began strategizing. She even went as far as using her gem to project a hologram for the sake of visualizing such a plan. Until Garnet unexpectedly shut her down before she could even start.
“We don’t need a plan. What we need is Sugilite. Amethyst, fuse with me.”
“WHAT?” both of the other Gems exclaimed in equal shock.
While that shock continued hanging over Pearl, Amethyst erupted into a joyful scream. “Yeah! Let’s mash it up! Bigger! Badder!”
“Wait! Wait! Wait!” Steven cut into Amethyst’s bombastic celebration. “Are… you guys going to turn into a Gem fusion?”
Amethyst only offered another elated scream as her reply. Steven quickly joined her; after how amazing Opal had been at the lake just a few days ago, how could he not be excited about meeting another fusion? Pearl, on the other hand, was far less enthusiastic.
“Wait!” she interrupted, sending Garnet a pleading look. “Garnet, think about this. You and Amethyst can be a little, um… unstable when your personalities combine. We need to be careful in this situation. Why don’t you fuse with me instead?”
“We don’t need to be careful,” Garnet said. “We just need to be huge .”
“Oh yeah!” Amethyst bounded after Garnet. “Let’s wreck this joint!”
Steven made sure to get a front row seat as the pair began to synchronize. Very early on into their dance, however, Pearl rushed in and shielded his eyes, blushing profusely all the while. “Aw, c’mon, Pearl!” he whined, trying to push her away. “I wanna see!”
He managed to pry her fingers away from his eyes just in time to get a glimpse of the tail end of the ongoing fusion dance. Garnet swiveled her hips while Amethyst shook her shoulders about, grinning madly all the while. As Garnet opened her stance up, Amethyst ran into it, bringing both Gems together as the light of their emerging fusion shot high up into the air. A set of five glowing eyes appeared within that light, and as the new fusion fully stabilized, a sharp set of shades appeared to cover all but one of them.
And just like that Sugilite was on the scene.
She was massive , to say the least. She easily dwarfed Opal, standing tall and strong as she flexed all four of her powerful arms. Her unkempt hair ran long down her back, complimenting her bright violet skin and rugged attire. A loud, playful laugh rumbled across the desert from her sharp-toothed, practically twisted grin as she settled back into herself.
“Ha! It’s been a while!” she exclaimed, cracking her large knuckles. “I forgot how great it feels to be me!”
“ That’s Sugilite?” Steven asked, amazed. He’d already felt small standing next to Opal, but compared to Sugilite, he and Pearl were downright miniscule. Not that Steven minded for how impressive the larger-than-life fusion was already turning out to be.
“You got it, baby,” Sugilite smirked, leaning a bit more down to his level. “Hey, Steven, wanna see something cool?”
“Yeah!”
“Then check this out,” Sugilite rose back to her full height, calling upon Garnet’s gauntlets. She punched her fists together, allowing Amethyst’s whip to form and connect to the end of the now-joined gauntlets. She tossed her newly-created flail high into the air, letting it crash into the sand behind her with a resounding boom. Steven was nearly knocked off his feet by the quake, only barely maintaining his footing thanks to Pearl as he let out an excited laugh. “You like that, little man?” Sugilite asked him, grinning.
Steven nodded vigorously. “Are you gonna smash stuff with your giant wrecking-ball thing?”
“That’s the plan! Where should I start?”
“Do that one!” Steven pointed to the tower’s nearest pillar. Sugilite didn’t waste a beat, heaving her flail at the tower at full force. With one swing alone, she created a shower of rubble, putting a swift stop to any interference the tower was creating. Yet even though her work was already finished, Sugilite didn’t stop there. Her rampage continued as she kept slamming her flail into the tower’s remains, cackling wildly all the while.
“Steven,” Pearl grabbed him by the shoulders, already knowing well what was happening. She’d been around Sugilite more than enough to know exactly how uncouth and uncontrollable she could truly be. “We should go.”
“What?” Steven frowned. “No way! This is awesome!”
Before Pearl could protest further, a large piece of the tower fell to the ground only a few feet away from her and Steven, narrowly missing them both. “Watch what you’re doing!” she shouted at Sugilite. As usual, though, the fusion didn’t bother listening to her as she continued her reckless onslaught. As enthralled by it all as Steven was, he didn’t even notice the small rock heading his way until it struck him squarely in the forehead, knocking him to the ground. “Steven!” Pearl cried as she rushed to his side. As she helped him sit up, she made sure to spare a bitter glance back at Sugilite for her chaotic carelessness. “Ugh, you’re just… too much!”
“Maybe you’re just too little ,” Sugilite taunted just shy of letting her flail fly again.
Pearl jolted, disgruntled as she grabbed Steven and carried him off to the warp pad. “Steven, we’re going.”
“B-but I’m fine!” Steven pressed a hand against his injured forehead. “What about Sugilite? We can’t just leave her here!”
“She can find her own way home,” Pearl practically growled just shy of warping them both back to the temple. She did so just in time too as, only mere seconds later, Sugilite’s rain of destruction came crashing down onto the warp pad, shattering it to pieces.
“And she was like 50 feet tall, at least , and she had this big wrecking ball thing that she used to smash the tower to smithereens!” Steven excitedly detailed his latest outing to the Gems with his friends the next day. He’d invited Dipper, Mabel, and Connie to join him at Greasy’s Diner, less for breakfast and more so he could tell them everything there was to know about the mighty Sugilite. “You guys should have seen her! She was so cool and loud and fun!”
“I wish we could!” Mabel exclaimed, quickly catching Steven’s practically contagious enthusiasm. “Can we go ask Garnet and Amethyst to fuse right now? I’m sure they’d say yes! I mean, look at how easy it was to convince Pearl and Amethyst to form Opal!”
“If by ‘easy’, you mean it took us nearly getting eaten by a lake monster, then sure, it was a breeze,” Dipper deadpanned.
“Aw, well… I’m pretty sure Garnet and Amethyst are still fused,” Steven explained, rubbing the back of his neck. “But I don’t really know where they are right now since me and Pearl left Sugilite in the desert last night. I’m not sure why, but I don’t think Pearl likes her that much, even though she’s way strong and super powerful!”
“Uh, as great as Sugilite sounds, Steven,” Connie cut in, frowning. “I don’t think any of what you told us explains what happened to your head there.”
“Oh,” Steven pulled the copious layers of bandages Pearl had wrapped around his forehead down to reveal the very tiny scratch underneath. “I got hit by a rock!”
The beat of awkward silence that passed was soon filled in by a round of laughter. Steven was the only one of the kids who didn’t join in, failing to understand exactly what about his underwhelming injury was so funny.
“It must not have been a very big rock,” Dipper said, still chuckling.
“Well… uh… there’s… internal bleeding!” Steven protested, blushing. “My hurt is on the inside!”
“Steven,” Connie was the first to stop laughing when she noticed just how embarrassed Steven really was. Instead, she sent him a small, good-natured smile, one that Steven didn’t even attempt to return. “That little scratch didn’t actually hurt you that much, did it?”
“It did when I got it…” Steven muttered, slumping low into his seat. “Oh, I might as well face it. I’ll never be as tough or as strong as Sugilite! I’m soft…”
“Eh, don’t sweat it, Steven,” Mabel playfully elbowed her brother beside her. “It’s not like you’re the only one who’s ‘soft’ around here.”
“Um, what’s that supposed to mean?” Dipper asked.
“No offense, Dipper, but you’re not exactly ‘Manny Manington’,” Mabel explained with a wry, teasing smirk.
“Hey!” Dipper quickly protested, flustered. “I am too Manly… Manny or whatever it is you said.”
“Mm, I dunno,” Mabel mused, her grin widening. It was easy enough to get under Dipper’s skin, and if anyone was a proud master of it, it was her. “I mean, you did have to ask me to help you carry those boxes into the shack the other day…”
“Oh, come on,” Dipper crossed his arms, scowling. “Those boxes totally weren’t even heavy. They were just, um… weirdly bulky! Yeah, that’s it.”
“Ok, ‘tough guy’,” Mabel continued goading. “Then how do you explain Grunkle Stan walking in on you singing ‘Disco Girl’ in the bathroom the other day?”
“Mabel!” Dipper exclaimed, mortified.
“‘Disco Girl’?” Connie asked, grinning in light amusement. “Isn’t that by BABBA, that really popular Icelandic pop group?”
“Me and Amethyst heard that song while we were listening to the radio once,” Steven recalled. “She said that the only people who listen to that kind of music are middle-aged, single women. And Pearl.”
“Well, I wasn’t listening to it!” Dipper argued a bit too forcefully. “It’s not important anyway. I’m plenty masculine. You see this chest hair?” He pulled his shirt down a bit, revealing the completely bare chest underneath it.
“Um… no?” Connie said, raising an eyebrow.
“Ah! My eyes!” Mabel wailed, laughing at her brother’s expense. “Put it away!”
“Aw, man…” Dipper muttered, embarrassed as he pulled his shirt back up.
“Don’t feel bad, Dipper,” Steven said with a small, reassuring smile. “I don’t have any chest hair yet either. But I bet I would if I were a really beefy tough guy! Then I could be just as strong and cool as Sugilite!”
“Well, I don’t know about you Steven, but I already am tough and I can prove it,” Dipper firmly asserted. He found a way to do exactly that as he spotted the “manliness tester” game sitting at the far end of the diner. A sign was attached to it, advertising a free pancake breakfast as a prize for anyone who could conquer it. “Prepare to eat your words, Mabel,” he said confidently, getting up from the table. “And some delicious pancakes.”
Steven got up and followed close after Dipper, wanting to try his hand at the machine himself. But the closer they got to it, the more doubts he began to have, especially when he noticed a handful of the diner’s other patrons taking notice of their approach. “Uh… are you sure about this, Dipper?” he asked in a nervous whisper.
“Come on, Steven, this is gonna be so easy ,” Dipper said with a confident, almost cocky grin. That grin remained as he gripped the machine’s handle and pulled it back with as much force as he could muster. While he strained what few muscles he did have, the light on the machine steadily began to rise up to the top result of “manly man”… before it quickly crashed back down to the lowest level of “wimp”.
“Aw, what?” Dipper frowned as he grabbed the small card the machine spat out. Instead of a coupon for free pancakes, it only showed the image of an infant and the emasculating message: “You’re a cutie-patootie!”
“Aw, what a cute baby!” Steven exclaimed, though he quickly recanted when he caught the sharp look Dipper shot his way. “Uh, I mean… it’s not that cute…”
“This thing must be broken,” Dipper quickly, staunchly concluded. He tossed the card away, trying his best to save face as he turned back to the spectating patrons. “It’s totally broken, guys! It’s like, a million years old. Probably ran out of steam power or-”
He was suddenly cut off when boys suddenly found themselves abruptly shoved aside by Manly Dan. The burly lumberjack cracked his large knuckles as he prepared to take a crack at the machine, all but ignoring Steven when he spoke up to him. “Um… excuse me? But I was about to try-”
With but a simple nudge of his finger, Manly Dan not only managed to conquer the machine, but break it entirely. As it exploded, a shower of pancakes rained down onto the plates of the restaurant’s patrons, who erupted into a round of excited cheers. “Yes!” the lumberjack cheered. “Pancakes for everyone!”
Amidst the celebration, Steven and Dipper both shrunk back, humiliated. After such a disappointing display, how could they not be? If either of them hoped to prove their strength, they’d not only failed, but they were shown up completely, in front of a packed restaurant, including Mabel and Connie, to boot. “Uh, Steven?” Dipper whispered tensely, tightly grabbing his arm. “At the risk of embarrassing ourselves even further, I think we should go.”
“Good idea!” Steven nodded, flustered. Without even sparing the girls a goodbye, they ran for the door, clumsily tripping over each other on the way out. While Mabel laughed as she watched them go, Connie couldn’t help but wince instead.
“Yeesh,” she said, frowning. “What’s gotten into those two? I don’t see why they’re so concerned about being so ‘tough’ and ‘strong’ in the first place.”
“Eh, that’s boys for you,” Mabel shrugged. “They can get soooo wrapped up with being ‘the best’ that they don’t even notice when they’re being the worst .”
“You’ve got a point there,” Connie chuckled. “I mean, it’s not like we'd never get as carried away with anything as Steven and Dipper just did.”
“You know we wouldn’t!” Mabel raised her hand for a high five, one that Connie readily met. “Girls forever!”
On this note, Mabel dramatically downed the last of her orange juice. Connie did the same as both girls paid for their drinks and left the diner, heading toward town. “So, since the boys are, uh… busy, I guess,” Connie began as they walked down Main Street. “What should we do for the rest of the day?”
“Oh, I know!” Mabel pointed to a growing crowd across the street. “Let’s go see what that line over there is all about! It’s gotta be for something good, like snow cones or catlympics!”
“Catlympics?”
“They’re like regular olympics, but with cats!”
“Right,” Connie chuckled as they crossed the street together. They joined the back of the line, taking up a spot behind two other girls in front of them. Mabel was instantly intrigued when she noticed a lizard resting comfortably on the larger girl’s shoulder.
“Whoa!” she gasped, catching both girls’ attention. “You have an animal on your body! That’s the coolest thing I’ve seen all day! I’m Mabel, and this is my friend, Connie!” she brightly introduced them as Connie offered the pair a friendly wave.
“Hi! I’m Grenda,” the larger girl greeted in a surprisingly deep voice. “And this is Candy!” She motioned to the smaller, glasses-wearing girl beside her. She waved brightly, even despite the plastic forks attached to her hands.
“Why do you have forks taped to your fingers?” Connie asked.
“Improvement of human being,” she explained simply, yet eloquently.
“I’ll say it is!” Mabel readily agreed. “I’ve gotta get me some of those! After we’re done with whatever this line is, of course.”
“What’s it for anyway?” Connie wondered, trying to peer past the crowd to the front. At the very least, it was moving steadily toward a table manned by Mr. Smiley, owner of Funland Arcade.
“The annual Funland Summer Sidewalk Art Contest!” Candy explained. Sure enough, the surrounding sidewalks were filled with aspiring artists, young and old, all already hard at work on creating their chalk creations. “The winner gets free arcade tokens for a year and a very shiny trophy.”
“Oooooh my gosh!” Mabel clasped her hands together, delighted when she caught sight of the trophy sitting on the registration table. “It is shiny! And arcade tokens to boot–I could win so many stuffed animals from the claw machine with those!”
“That’s why we’re entering too!” Grenada boisterously exclaimed. “Oh! I have an awesome idea! What if the four of us all entered the contest together? Then we can split the prize and get even more stuffed animals!”
“Ah! It’s like you read my mind!” Mabel squealed, beside herself with excitement. She grabbed Candy and Grenda’s hands, all three of them bouncing up and down with glee over their newly-formed team. “Come on, Connie!” Mabel encouraged, holding a hand out to the girl. “You’ve gotta get in on this!”
“Eh, ok…” Connie hesitantly joined. “I’m not really that much of an artist, but I’ll still help out where I can.”
“Great!” Mabel cheered. By now, the girls had reached the front of the line, but just before they could register, someone else cut in front of them to beat them to it.
“Uh, yeah, I’ll go ahead and just take that trophy, thank you very much,” the blonde girl smirked, holding her hands out expectantly.
“Who is that?” Mabel whispered to Candy and Grenda.
“The most popular and richest girl in town, Pacifica Northwest,” Candy muttered, frowning. Pacifica’s clothing was proof enough of such a claim; they were far more fashionable and expensive than anything any of the girls behind her could probably afford.
“I always feel bad about myself around her!” Grenda wailed, shying away in shame-driven fear.
“Aw, sorry, lil’ Miss Northwest,” Mr. Smiley chuckled, wearing his wide, usual grin. “But I can’t just fork over the trophy. You’ve gotta enter the art contest and win-”
“Ha!” Pacifica let out a callous laugh as she spun around to face the girls behind her. “That’ll be easy . I mean, who’s gonna compete against me? Fork fingers? Lizard lady?”
“Hold me, Candy!” Grenda cried, embracing Candy for emotional support.
“Our kind isn’t welcome here!”
Pacifica made a point of turning away from them triumphantly so she could register for the contest. Meanwhile, neither Mabel nor Connie were too impressed by the cruel display they’d just seen. “Where does she get off, treating people like that just because she’s rich?” Connie asked, scowling. “Someone really ought to put her in her place.”
“Don’t worry, Connie,” Mabel stepped up to the registration table with a bold grin. “I’ve got it covered. We’ll compete–as a totally awesome team that’s totally gonna win!”
“ What ?” Pacifica glared over her shoulder, appalled by the very idea.
“Hiya!” Mabel greeted her cheerfully, holding a hand out for her to shake. As far as she was concerned, if there was one sure-fire way to overcome a stuck-up snob like Pacifica, it was sheer, unbridled friendliness. “I’m Mabel!”
Pacifica simply turned her nose up at the other girl, refusing to so much as touch her hand. “That sounds like a fat, old lady’s name.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment!”
“Hey,” Connie sharply stepped in, glaring at Pacifica. “Why don’t you back off?”
“Why don’t you , glasses girl?” Pacifica retorted just as crossly.
“Oh, wow, what a completely original insult,” Connie rolled her eyes. “It’s not like I haven’t heard that one a million times before.”
“Well, maybe you wouldn’t if you didn’t have those hideous things on your face.”
“I literally need them to see!”
“Oooookay,” Mabel stepped in between the quarreling pair. “I’m sensing a lot of tension here. Why don’t we all just take a minute and get started on the contest? After all, there’s nothing that relieves stress like drawing with sidewalk chalk!”
“Ew, and get my hands covered in all that colorful dust? I don’t think so,” Pacifica sneered. “Luckily for me, I won’t have to. Unlike all you poor people, I’ve hired someone to do it for me. Jacques!”
“Oui , Mademoiselle Northwest?” A tall, mustachioed French man stepped up to the girl’s side, toting two large boxes of professional grade sidewalk chalk.
“You know what to do,” she waved him off to begin ‘her’ art piece. “And remember what we talked about! I better not see a single smudged line or you’re fired!”
“Oui, Mademoiselle ,” Jacques nodded, rushing off to find an unclaimed stretch of the sidewalk.
“Wait… did you… commission someone to do your work for you?” Connie asked, baffled.
“Uh, duh,” Pacifica checked over her nails, disinterested. “What, you really thought I was gonna get down on the dirty ground and do it myself? Please.”
“Um… I think that’s cheating,” Mabel pointed out.
“You’re only saying that because you can’t afford to do the same,” Pacifica taunted. “Jacques is traditionally trained and he’s even had his pieces hung up in the Louvre in Paris.”
“What’s that mean?” Grenda asked.
“It means, none of you will ever be able to come even close to whatever he draws up. But it’ll be funny to watch you try.” Pacifica laughed callously, flipping her hair as she walked away from the group, all but confident in her victory. Even if it wasn’t really going to be hers to begin with. “Good luck! You’re gonna need it.”
“Nice meeting you!” Mabel called out after her, smiling.
Connie, on the other hand, was far less enthusiastic. She grabbed one of the free boxes of sidewalk chalk Mr. Smiley was providing for contestants, leading the way down the street and fuming all the while. “We’d better get started,” she said, ignoring the other girls as they cheerfully followed, already coming with fantastical ideas for their shared project. At the same time, Connie dropped her voice down to a whisper, hissing between gritted teeth as she sent one final, bitter glare Pacifica’s way. “She’s going down .”
“One… t-two… t-t-three…”
“Two… three… f-four…”
“H-hey… Dipper…?”
“Y-yeah, Steven?”
“Are… are you making any progress?”
“Hold on; let me check.” Grateful for the interruption, Dipper set the branch he had been trying and failing to bench press aside. Upon checking his chest, he was met with the same frustrating bare sight he’d found back at the diner. As it turned out, going out into the woods to “work out” as Steven had called it, wasn’t really amounting to much so far. “No chest hair yet…” Dipper flopped back to the ground, disappointed. “What about you?”
Exhausted from the handful of pushups he’d done so far, Steven paused to check his own chest. “Nope,” he sighed. Even so, he was quick to perk back up in the hopes of encouraging Dipper to do the same. “But we’re just starting out. I’m sure that if we keep at it, we’ll both be buff in no time!”
“More like in twenty years,” Dipper retorted dryly. “What are we missing here? Is it physical, is it mental? What’s the secret to being strong?”
“Maybe it’s magical?” Steven suggested. “I mean, Garnet and Amethyst are already super strong, but they got even stronger when they fused into Sugilite. Maybe… oh! I’ve got it!” He gasped, running over to Dipper, grabbing his hands, and pulling him up to stand alongside him. “Dipper! We should fuse !”
“We should… what ?” Dipper asked, caught off guard.
“Garnet told me the other day that I can fuse too!” Steven grinned, his grip on Dipper’s hands tightening. “So if we fuse, then we’ll be super strong, just like Sugilite is!”
“Uh, yeah,” Dipper pulled his hands away. “Only one tiny problem with that, Steven. Unlike you, I’m not a Gem, so I can’t fuse, remember?”
“Oh yeah…” Steven slumped his shoulders. “I didn’t think about that…” He took a seat on the ground, and as Dipper joined him, they both let out a long, shared sigh. “So I guess the only thing we can do is keep working out. We’re bound to get stronger eventually, right?”
“At this rate? I doubt it.” Knowing they both desperately needed a break, Dipper pulled out the bag of beef jerky they’d picked up on their way out to the woods for them to share as a snack. “We’re gonna need some serious help.”
Before either of the boys could dig into the bag of jerky, the ground beneath them suddenly began to tremble. Alarmed, they got to their feet as that shaking grew, watching with wide eyes as a herd of forest animals raced past them, trying to escape from something .
“W-what’s going on?” Steven asked above the chaos.
“Who cares?!” Dipper started when a fierce roar sounded out from somewhere beyond the trees ahead. “Let’s just get out of here!”
As the boys turned to flee, they quickly found there was no clear escape as a tree toppled over onto their path, narrowly missing them both. Unable to do much else, they turned to face whatever danger was heading their way, all but clinging onto each other out of sheer fear. They had every reason to be afraid too as a burly monster burst out of the woods. Or rather, something somewhere between a monster and a man.
He stomped into the clearing, letting out a roar that soon turned into a yawn as he easily picked up a nearby deer, using its antlers to scratch his back. Without much care, he tossed the creature aside before turning his attention down to the pair of frightened boys before him.
“P-please, don’t eat us!” Dipper pleaded.
“We don’t taste good at all!” Steven cried nervously. “And I’m really chewy; not in the good way, either!”
“Yeah!” Dipper agreed. “And I haven’t showered. And I’m all elbows! Elbows and grilse!”
“YOU TWO-” the manly creature bellowed in a deep, powerful voice. “Gonna finish that?” He pointed to the bag of jerky that had fallen to the ground between Steven and Dipper.
“Um… no…” Dipper frowned as he exchanged a confused glance with Steven. He tossed the jerky to the creature, who savagely tore the bag open and devoured the strips of dried meat as the boys stood by and watched curiously.
“Whoa…” Steven grinned, amazed. “He’s so beefy! He reminds me of Sugilite!”
“I can’t believe it,” Dipper said, just as awed. “Part animal, part human. Are you some kind of minotaur?”
“I’m a manotaur!” the creature roared. “Half man, half… uh… half taur!”
“Cool!” Steven exclaimed, his grin widening.
“So… did we like, summon you, or-”
“The smell of jerky summoned me! JERKY!” The manotaur punched a nearby tree before smashing a large rock against his head in a show of brute strength. “YEAH!” he let out a hearty laugh before he stopped short, bending down to curiously sniff the boys. “I smell… emotional issues.”
“Aw… you mean you don’t smell the scent of manly toughness?” Steven asked.
“Nope; the only things I smell from you two are sweat and desperation,” the manotaur said, crossing his buff arms.
“You got us,” Dipper sighed. “We’ve got problems, manotaur. Man-related problems.”
The manotaur nodded gruffly as he plopped down to the ground, patting his hairy leg. Dipper and Steven joined him, taking turns telling him of their lack of masculinity and all of the embarrassment and woes that came along with it. The manotaur nodded in understanding, surprisingly listening to all they had to say, even as their tale came to its anti-climactic end.
“Hey, you know, you seem pretty manly,” Dipper said to the manotaur. “Maybe you could give us some pointers?”
“Yeah!” Steven chimed in agreement. “If there’s anyone who knows about being tough, I’m sure it would be someone as manly as you!”
“Very well,” the manotaur rose to stand. “I shall train you in the arts of manliness! Climb atop my back hair, children!”
Dipper and Steven exchanged an uncertain glance as the manotaur knelt down to allow them to scale his grimy back hair.They did so anyway, but before they could really even get a good hold, the manotaur began barreling through the woods at a thunderous pace, disregarding any obstacles in his path. The boys held on for dear life as they crashed through tree branches, soared over a sizable gorge, and finally crashed through the rocky side of a mountain through sheer force alone. Though they were a bit shaken up from the rough trip, both Steven and Dipper were quickly stunned by the place they now found themselves in.
The large cave they had smashed their way into was an absolute mess, littered with discarded bones and food scraps. It was also outfitted with an impressive set of barbells, a few dart boards lining the stony walls, and even a foosball table. All of these activities were being enjoyed by the countless other manotaurs dwelling in the cave, each of them as tough and macho as the manotaurs the boys had first met
“Whoa… This place is amazing!” Dipper said as he and Steven dismounted the manotaur’s back.
“The gnomes live in trees, the merpeople live in the water… ‘cause they’re LOSERS!” the manotaur proudly proclaimed. “But we manotaurs crash in the MAN CAVE!” With another loud roar, he punched a nearby gong with his bare fist, catching the attention of the other manotaurs. “Beasts! I have brought you two hairless children!” he pushed both boys forward for the others to see.
“Hiya!” Steven greeted brightly
“…S’up,” Dipper said much more stiffly.
“This is Pubetor,” the manotuar began to introduce the others. “Testosteror… Pituitor… And I’m Chutzpar. And you two are?”
“I’m Dipper.” He was quick to add a masculine addendum to his name as the manotaurs booed, clearly not impressed. “The… uh… Destructor?”
The manotaurs nodded in complacent approval of this title before Steven quickly came up with a title for himself. “And I’m Steven the Strong Guy!” he boldly proclaimed, much to the amusement of the manotaurs.
“Dipper the Destructor and Steven the Strong Guy want us to teach them the secrets of our manliness,” Chutzpar informed the others.
“We really need your help, guys!” Dipper practically pleaded. “We’re both seriously lacking in the chest hair department!”
“And we wanna get huge, beefy muscles, just like all of you!” Steven added, flexing to show his desire for toned, meaty biceps. “And like Sugilite. She’s a really tough Gem fusion, just so you guys know.”
“GEMS?!” several of the manotaurs roared in suddenly angry unison.
“What business do you have with those dainty, frilly Gems, boy?” Testosteror snarled at Steven.
“Oh, well I am one,” Steven pulled up his shirt to reveal the gemstone on his stomach. “Well… half-one, anyway.”
The manotaurs erupted into a round of disgusted groans and sneers at the very sight of the stone. “Ugh!” “Put that thing away!” “It’s so sparkly and pink !”
“Long have we manotaurs quarreled with the Crystal Gems,” Pubitor bitterly explained. “Their girliness is an insult to our MANLINESS!” he shouted as he brutally punched Pituitor right in the face, only to get punched right back without even flinching.
“Oh, um… well…” Steven trailed off, unsure of how to defend himself or the Gems. He knew there were a handful of creatures in Gravity Falls they didn’t quite get along with; he should have figured a group as downright different from them as the manotaurs would be one of them. Even if he still didn’t really understand exactly why.
“Well, Steven’s only half Gem, like he said,” Dipper cut in just in time. “So… that shouldn’t really be that much of a problem, right?”
The manotaurs hesitated, muttering their dissent amongst each other as both boys anxiously awaited their verdict. Their discussion soon devolved into little more than a brutish fist fight, which was how the manotaurs solved most of their dilemmas. Eventually, the exchange of fists died down as the manotaurs apparently reached a consensus, which they finally relayed to Steven and Dipper. “After a lot of punching, we have decided to deny your request to learn our manly secrets.”
“Denied?” Dipper repeated, dismayed.
“Aw… Why?” Steven asked with a disappointed frown.
“The keys to manliness are far too sacred and awesome to give out to humans, and especially to prissy Gems!” Testostoraur growled firmly while the other manotaurs nodded their stern agreement.
“B-but what if we-” Steven began, though Dipper was quick to interrupt him as he acted on his newfound plan.
“Okay,” he said, feigning acceptance. “That’s fine with us. Obviously you guys must think it would be too hard to train us. Maybe you’re not man enough to try.”
“Not MAN enough?” one of the most burly manotaurs asked, clearly appalled.
“Destructor…” Chutzpar cautioned, though it was clearly already too late.
“Not MAN enough?!”
“He didn’t mean it.”
“I have three Y chromosomes, six Adam's apples, pecs on my abs, and FISTS for nipples!” the enraged manotaur shouted as he glared down at the boys. “We’re ALL more manly than you’ll ever hope to be!”
“I-I believe you!” Steven stammered nervously.
“I don’t know if I do,” Dipper crossed his arms. “Seems to me like you’re too scared to teach us how to be men. Maybe it’s just too much of a challenge for you guys. In fact… it kinda seems like you’re all a bunch of-”
“Dipper, don’t say it!” Steven pleaded, worried.
“Chickens,” Dipper finished with a bold, daring grin. The insult hit home exactly the way he’d hoped it to as the manotaurs formed another quick huddle, ultimately changing their minds in the process. Anything to save their surprisingly fragile pride.
“After a second round of deliberation, we have decided to help you two become men!”
“Men! Men! Men!” the manotaurs all chanted loudly as Steven and Dipper triumphantly high-fived. With the manotaurs finally bought in, their journey to manliness and strength would be all but assured. Or at least, that’s what they hoped.
“Thanks guys,” Dipper said with a satisfied grin. “Whatever we have to do, we won’t let you down.”
“Yeah!” Steven added enthusiastically. “Just you wait! We’ll be the toughest, strongest men the world has ever seen!” Despite his boldness, he quickly retracted this statement as the manotaurs all growled their mutual disapproval of it. “A-aside from you guys, of course!”
By now, the annual Funland Summer Sidewalk Art Contest was fully underway, with plenty of townsfolk out to take part in it. The local teens had teamed up to create their anti-authoritarian graffiti piece, Toby Determined drew a life-sized portrait of newswoman Shandra Jimenez, and Onion was hard at work on a startlingly realistic depiction of an explosion. Meanwhile, Mabel, Connie, Candy, and Grenda were bringing a colorful collage to life. There wasn’t much cohesion to it, with each of them drawing whatever they wanted to, something that Connie quickly noticed and couldn’t help but frown about. Especially when she peered over at the beautiful, lifelike landscape Jacques was sketching for Pacifica just a short way down the street.
“You guys, we need a better approach than… whatever all of this is,” Connie stood, brushing the chalk dust off her hands. She looked over what they had so far, from Grenda’s poorly-drawn pack of puppy-butterfly hybrids, to Candy’s attempt at a robotic horse, to the countless rainbows Mabel kept coloring over all of it. It was a mess to say the least, one that didn’t stand a chance against the actual artist they were forced to compete against.
“You’re right, Connie,” Mabel mused, accidentally smearing purple chalk across her face. “It needs even more rainbows!”
“No,” Connie swiftly shot her idea down. “It needs to have some kind of theme, a hook. And it needs to be… I don’t want to say better-drawn, but… yeah, it needs to be better-drawn, we really have to step up our game here.”
“But I thought we were just drawing whatever we wanted, for fun,” Candy stayed her hand mid-horse.
“Yeah, ok, having fun is fine,” Connie crossed her arms. “And we can have plenty of it after we win.”
“Aw, that’s cute,” Pacifica spoke up as she passed by the group. “You actually think you have a chance at winning. Hate to break it to you, but I doubt that eyesore you have going on over there will impress anyone.”
“B-but… we’re working so hard on it!” Grenda protested, upset.
“Oh, that must be why it’s so ugly ,” Pacifica let out a haughty laugh. “You ladies might as well enjoy your last glimpse of that trophy while you can. ‘Cause it’s heading home with me .”
“It shouldn’t even be yours in the first place because you’re cheating !” Connie shouted after her, though Pacifica paid her no mind. Instead, she returned to absently overseeing Jacques as he continued his work, still every bit as confident that she’d win. Connie, however, was ready to do whatever she must to keep that from happening.
“Alright, you guys, no more playing around,” Connie said sternly as she turned back to the others. “We’ve got to do better. We have to beat her!”
“Uh… ok?” Mabel let out a small, uncomfortable chuckle. “Or we could just draw and have a good time doing it?”
“Didn’t you hear what I said earlier, Mabel?” Connie huffed. “This isn’t about having a good time, it’s about winning ! And about wiping that smug grin off Pacifica’s face. Now, enough talking!” Connie got back down onto the sidewalk, furiously sketching out something she could only hope would bring their piece together. “Let’s get back to work!”
Mabel, Candy, and Grenda didn’t follow suit right away. Instead, they looked to each other with rising concern. Candy was the first to speak to that concern, dropping her voice down to a whisper in the hopes that Connie wouldn’t hear. “Mabel, I think that Connie may be starting to get a little…”
“Carried away,” Grenda finished, frowning.
“Aw, nah,” Mabel assured. “She’s just excited about the contest! So what if she’s being a little competitive? Everyone gets like that every now and then, right?”
“What did I just say?” Connie snapped at the trio, annoyed. “Less talking, more drawing!”
While Candy and Grenda exchanged a fretful glance, Mabel once again tried playing it off with a laugh. Still, even she couldn’t deny her own growing worry. She understood Connie’s frustrations with Pacifica; after how downright mean she’d been to all of them, Mabel wanted to see her taken down a peg too. But the way they were going about it, with such intensity and vitriol… she found herself wondering if perhaps they were going too far. If they’d lost sight of why they were even doing this in the first place.
If Connie was pushing herself so hard for something that ultimately didn’t even matter in the long run.
Pearl warped back to the temple, sighing tiredly after several hours of fruitless searching. Almost a full day had passed by now, and there were still no signs of Sugilite–or even Garnet and Amethyst’s return. She’d even gone as far as trying to travel back to the desert, only to find that the connection to the warp pad there strangely wasn’t working. While Pearl knew her teammates could hold their own, she still fostered at least a little concern for them. Especially when she remembered just how brash and volatile Sugilite, of all fusions, could be.
As she returned to the temple, the first thing Pearl noticed was a trail of discarded clothes leading up to the bedroom loft. She frowned at the mess as she followed it to the base of the stairs, going mostly unnoticed by the pair rummaging through a pile of clothes at the top.
“Steven? Dipper?” she called up to them, confused. “What are you two doing up there?”
“Oh, hey, Pearl-” Before Dipper could explain, Steven cut him off as his head popped up out of a pile of his own shirts.
“Pearl! Have you seen my sweatbands anywhere? We need them for something really important!”
“I can’t say that I have…” Pearl said, already picking up a few of Steven’s stray shirts and folding them neatly. “What do you need them for so badly anyway?”
“For sweating!” Steven proclaimed, emerging from his pile again, this time with a pair of sweatbands in hand.
“Uh… which we’ll probably be doing a lot of while we’re learning how to be real men from the manotaurs,” Dipper elaborated.
“What?!” Pearl asked, alarmed.
“Yeah!” Steven rushed down into the kitchen, stocking up on more jerky to help them stay in the manotaurs’ good graces. “They’re gonna teach us all sorts of stuff about being tough! We’re gonna get supa strong! Like Sugilite!”
Pearl flinched as soon as she heard the fusion’s name. Still, she quickly collected herself when she remembered the other problem now at hand. “Manotaurs?” she questioned, frowning. “How on earth did you two get tangled up with those brutes anyway? They’re hardly a good source of advice, considering the fact that they rarely think.”
“Oh yeah! They mentioned something about having some sort of rivalry with you guys,” Dipper said. “What’s the deal with that?”
“Well… it’s not so much of a rivalry as it is… a mutual sense of contempt,” Pearl admitted. “We try to get along with all of the various tribes and creatures of Gravity Falls, but the manotaurs have never been willing to meet us halfway. Apparently, they have a problem with our “girliness”, whatever that means.”
“Aw, come on, Pearl,” Steven countered. “The manotaurs aren’t so bad. Like we said, they’re gonna help us be manly!”
“Yes… Well, maybe that’s not such a good idea…” Pearl glanced away from the pair.
“What?” Dipper asked, puzzled as both he and Steven finally picked up on her apprehension. “Why not?”
“Um… Well…”
“But Pearl,” Steven protested zealously. “How else are we gonna become men?”
“You know, maybe being a… ‘man’ isn’t the most important thing in the world,” Pearl cautioned. “After all, you both are still rather young. You still have plenty of time to grow into actual men.”
“Yeah, but that’ll take way too long,” Dipper protested staunchly. “We’ve gotta prove that we’re strong now or else everyone will think we’re wimps forever!”
“Oh, I doubt that,,,” Pearl folded her arms. “Besides, there are many different ways of being strong…”
“But we wanna be strong in the real way!” Steven emphasized, not getting her point.
“Yeah!” Dipper agreed with a confident grin. “Like men!”
“Yeah!” Steven launched into spirited round of cheering, which Dipper was quick to join in on as the two headed out the door. “Men! Men! Men!”
“Boys! Wait!” Pearl called out after them, though they hardly heeded her as they left to head back to the manotaurs. She didn’t hold back a disdainful sigh as the door slammed behind them, turning back to the mess still scattered all over the house. A mess in more ways than one, really.
She should have guessed that Steven would still be enthralled with the idea of being “strong” after Sugilite’s wreckless display the previous night. What she couldn’t have anticipated was someone as seemingly level-headed as Dipper to get wrapped up in that same mania too, and with the manotaurs no less. If they had only asked, she would have been more than happy to educate them both on a kind of strength that was far more than physical: strength of mind, heart, and spirit alike. But instead, they’d chosen brute strength, alongside the likes of the manotaurs and Sugilite; something that, as far as she had seen, usually only led to disaster.
Unsure of how else to vent her frustrations, Pearl took to singing as she continued picking Steven’s clothes up off the floor. Her voice belted out across the empty temple in a passionate tune, one that carried just how discouraged she really was.
“Why do you have to look up to them? Aside from in a literal sense-”
“Don’t you know that big comes with a bigger expense?”
That expense, as far as Pearl was concerned, was common sense. Something that both Sugilite and the manotaurs had barely a trace of, something that she only hoped Steven and Dipper could find before it was too late.
“And can’t you see that they’re out of control and overzealous?”
“I’m telling you for your own good, and not because I’m-”
She sharply cut herself off, blushing. She didn’t want to admit it, she never would. But deep down, she knew the truth; she knew just how inferior she always felt when stacked up against a fusion that was much more massive and mighty than she could ever hope to be.
“I could show you how to be strong in the real way-”
“And I know that we can be strong in the real way!”
Pearl paused, only for a beat as she stared back at the front door, a new idea striking her. While she couldn’t very well stop Steven or Dipper in their foolhardy “manly” pursuits, the least she could do was follow along and make sure they were safe. Someone had to; she knew well from experience that safety, or even basic civility was far from the norm when it came to the brutish manotaurs.
So she ventured out of the house, hoping to catch up with the boys as she planned to protect them both from a distance. And if she could, to save them from chasing a kind of strength that, at the end of the day, was ultimately nothing more than a show.
“And I want to inspire you, I want to be your rock-”
“And when I talk it lights a fire in you…”
Upon their return to the Man Cave, Dipper and Steven found that the manotaurs had a complete “gauntlet of manliness” planned for them. As expected, each of their challenges were focused on physical strength or endurance, including their first trial of pulling the manotaurs’ “party wagon” up a steep hill. As the boys went through each of these manly tests, Pearl was never too far behind, hiding behind trees or lingering just outside of the Man Cave. A wistful refrain of her song rang through her head while she watched, worried, as the boys continued struggling for what they were misled to believe was strength.
“I can show you how to be strong in the real way.”
She couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she watched the manotaurs cover the boys in temporary tattoos or as they tried to glue hair to their bare chests. She’d always known the manotaurs were incredibly dense creatures, but their superficial views on masculinity were downright ridiculous in her eyes. Unfortunately, neither Dipper nor Steven seemed to think so as they followed their lead boldly and blindly.
“And I know that we can be strong in the real way.”
As for the boys themselves, they were actually having the time of their lives with the wild, eccentric, excitable manotaurs. True, their training methods could be seen as questionable, including the gator-filled obstacle course they made the boys run. Still, there was a refreshing sort of chaotic freedom to it all, one that they relished with each trial the manotaurs presented to them. And despite how difficult those trials may have been, they took them head on, just as any other “man” would.
“And I want to inspire you, I want to be your rock-”
Of course, the path to manliness wasn’t without a bit of pain. Neither of the boys were used to such strenuous activity, and Steven especially began to feel the burn as the day went on. In fact, he almost didn’t reach the top of the cliff they were tasked with climbing bare-handed, only barely making it thanks to Dipper helping him out, despite the manotaurs’ mantra of “every man for himself”. Pearl nearly emerged from hiding when she noticed exhaustion beginning to wear both boys down, but in the end she refrained. This was a lesson they had to learn for themselves, after all, even if they had to learn it the hard way.
“And when I talk it lights a fire in you.”
After several hours and several manly challenges later, the manotuars finally led the boys back to the Man Cave for what they claimed would be their final test in manliness. Neither of them knew what to expect as they stood together in the cave’s deepest chamber, awaiting further instructions about whatever supposedly deadly task they were about to undertake. Another gong sounded out through the candlelit chamber, calling everyone gathered to attention to witness this trial take place.
“Behold our leader!” Chutzpar announced. “Leadertaur!”
A rather old, somewhat small manotaur shuffled forward, his long beard grayed and his muscles nowhere near as impressive as those of his younger brethren.
“Aw… He’s so old and wrinkly!” Steven gushed, grinning.
“So, is he like the oldest, or the wisest, or…?” Dipper trailed off. No more than a moment later, however, the old manotaur was suddenly captured in the jaws of a much larger, much more monstrous figure.
“Nah, he’s just the offering,” Chutzpar corrected. “ That is Leadertaur” He pointed to the massive manotaur who had just devoured the elder whole, a fierce beast that was at least ten times as large as the other manotaurs and somehow even more masculine, if that was even possible.
Both boys were awestruck and admittedly terrified as they craned their necks up to get the full scope of the manotaur leader. “YOU!” Leadertaur bellowed at the boys viciously. “You wish to be men?!”
Though Dipper answered to this question with a bold battle cry, Steven simply swallowed and nodded nervously, trying his best to hide the fact that he was trembling. Leadertaur seemed to accept this, however as he continued. “Then you both must do this heroic act. Go to the highest mountain and bring back the head of…” The manotaur leader paused as he suddenly let out a loud roar, reaching in between his toned pecs before pulling out a pair of crude spears. “The Multi-Bear!”
The other manotaurs let out a collective gasp as Leadertaur threw the two spears down at the boys’ feet, providing them with weapons to complete this challenge. “The Multi-Bear?” Dipper asked, tentatively picking up one of the spears. “Is that some sort of bear…?”
“He is our sworn enemy!” Leadertaur growled scornfully. “Conquer him and your mansformation will be complete!”
“C-conquer?” Steven asked, taken aback. “As in… kill him?”
“Of course!” Leadertaur exclaimed as if it were obvious. “How else are you going to prove your manly strength?!”
Steven and Dipper exchanged an uncertain glance, neither of them too keen on the idea of actually taking out another living being, even something that sounded as frightening as the Multi-Bear. While Steven grappled with the idea in unsettled silence, Dipper spoke to their concerns first.
“…I don’t know, man…” he said with a hesitant frown. After everything they’d been through today, he wasn’t very intimidated by the thought of facing off against the Multi-Bear as much as he was by the task of slaughtering it in cold blood. He knew well that being violent was all part of being a man, but as far as he knew, the Multi-Bear was innocent. Did he really deserve to be killed just because of some ongoing rivalry he apparently had with the manotaurs?
“Hey, Destructor? Is this yours?” Chutzpar called to Dipper from across the cave. He’d been rooting through the boy’s backpack, finding, of all things, the BABBA CD he usually kept on hand inside of it. Dipper let out a frightened gasp as he quickly snatched it away, trying his best to hide his embarrassment as the other manotaurs began to murmur their dissent to each other over this choice of such feminine music.
“W-what? Are you guys kidding? Of course it’s not mine!” Dipper exclaimed, hiding the CD behind his back.
“But Dipper, I thought you liked BABBA-”
“Ha! Yeah right!” Dipper forced out a laugh as he slapped a hand over Steven’s mouth. “I don’t know whose this is. I’m just borrowing, uh… I mean, it’s a friend’s! Yeah, not mine. Not mine at all…”
The manotaurs didn’t seem to buy his weak excuses, instead shaking their heads with clear disapproval for both boys. Desperate not to be counted out too soon, Dipper acted quickly and on impulse, agreeing to their questionable final challenge before he could think better of it. “We’ll do it!” he proclaimed, bravely raising his spear high. “We will conquer the Multi-Bear!”
“Uh… y-yeah…” Steven followed along with a half-hearted, feeble grin. “What he said…”
With their goal in mind, the boys set out with the manotuars cheering them on as they left the Man Cave behind. As they set out on the arduous path toward the mountains, a lone figure stood hidden in the shadows, dread steadily filling her at the thought of the dangerous, violent mission they’d been sent on. Still, Pearl dutifully followed them, hoping that they wouldn’t go too far in their misguided mission. That they’d finally realize what real strength was before it was too late.
“Aaaaaalrighty, everyone!” Mr. Smiley announced over his megaphone. “Only five minutes left before judging begins! Put those chalk sticks to work on the final touches of your sidewalk spectacles!”
“Oh no!” Connie gasped, darting up from her work. For the past few hours, she’d been keeping the others on track to create an intricate, orderly forest scene, one that hardly captured much of the imagination of her teammates. Mabel, Candy, and Grenda followed her lead halfheartedly, sticking to the dull, natural colors and realistic designs she suggested instead of the bright, vibrant shades and inventive sketches they would have preferred. Still, as adamant about defeating Pacifica as Connie clearly was, they were hard pressed to protest her. Even if they’d stopped having anything resembling a good time a while ago. “We’ve got to hurry!”
“Eh, I dunno, Connie,” Mabel frowned as she looked over their piece. “I think it’s fine enough already. I mean, it's not as colorful as I would have liked, but it’s still pretty good-”
“Pretty good isn’t good enough to beat Pacifica!” Connie snapped, frustrated. “You know what? Here,” she abruptly snatched the chalk right out of Candy and Grenda’s hands. “Why don’t I finish it? It’ll be much faster.”
“Aw, but we wanna help!” Grenda exclaimed, gruffly upset.
“I know that, and I appreciate it,” Connie said quickly, unsympathetically as she rushed through her chalk strokes. “But we’re running out of time to win this thing!”
“Uh… Connie?” Mabel decided to voice her concerns. After keeping them to herself almost all day now, she figured it was about time she was finally honest, both with herself and with her friend. “Don’t you think you’re going a little… overboard with this whole winning thing? I mean, the whole reason we even signed up for this contest was to have fun, but this? Isn’t really fun at all…”
“For the last time, it doesn’t matter if it's ‘fun’,” Connie insisted sternly. “All that matters is showing Pacifica that she’s wrong about us, about everything! Something that I wish you guys would take as seriously as I am.”
“But you’re taking it way too seriously!” Mabel argued just as adamantly. “You’re driving yourself crazy and you don’t even see it! Who cares if Pacifica wins and we don’t?”
“I do!” Connie practically shouted, throwing her arms out wide. In her anger, she didn’t even notice the cup of water sitting next to her, meant to help erase any potential mistakes in their piece. That is, until her hand knocked it over, sending water spilling out across their art and creating a smudged, smeary disaster in the process.
“Yikes!” Candy cried, aptly alarmed.
“Aw, man!” Grenda facepalmed.
Connie jumped to her feet with a gasp, horrified at their now-ruined piece. “This… I… I didn’t mean to…” she swallowed hard, refusing to let herself give way to panic. Something that was far easier said than done. “I-I can still fix this!” she grabbed her chalk, preparing to start all over again if she had to. “We can still win, I know we can-”
“Aaaaand time’s up!” Mr. Smiley called, blowing a loud airhorn. “Chalk down, everyone! The judges will be around soon.”
“Oh, I can’t believe this!” Connie dropped her chalk, groaning in defeat. “This is all my fault. I ruined everything!”
“I wouldn’t say it’s ruined ,” Mabel mused. “Just, uh… a little… drippy and messy. It almost looks kinda cool in a weird, abstract sorta way.”
“It looks awfu l,” Connie countered with a mournful sigh. “And all because I had to get so hung up on winning. And I think… that’s the whole problem here.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” Grenda remarked, crossing her arms.
“You did kind of get sort of… unhinged,” Candy pointed out. “Just a little.”
“But… we know why you did,” Mabel placed a consoling hand on Connie’s shoulder. “You had every reason to be mad at Pacifica for what she said about us. But going this far to get the better of her was… Well, remember what I said about the boys earlier?”
“Uh… about how sometimes when they try too hard to be the best, they end up being the worst?” Connie recalled, quickly understanding how that related back to her now. “Oh, yeah… That… pretty much sums up exactly what happened here.”
The girls paused as the judges passed by their piece. As unimpressive as it was, they barely took the time to regard it, scribbling a few short notes down before moving onto the masterpiece Jacques had just finished creating for Pacifica. It truly was impressive, a stunning rendition of Gravity Falls from afar. Needless to say, the judges were duly amazed, duped into believing the wealthy girl had drawn it all herself as they lauded praise upon her for it. It wasn’t long after that Mr. Smiley took to the megaphone again after the judges relayed the final results.
“Ladies and gents, looks like we have ourselves a winner!” he grabbed the trophy, holding it up high for the crowd to see. “Congratulations to Miss Pacifica Northwest!”
As the crowd applauded, Pacifica stepped up to proudly claim her prize. She cared little for the free tokens, or even the trophy itself as she instead soaked in the adulation her family was known for receiving. “Thank you, everyone!” she fixed the group of girls with a sharp, smug grin. “It just goes to show what true talent is capable of.”
“More like what her parents’ money is capable of,” Connie muttered disdainfully.
“Everyone is invited to the after-party on my parent’s yacht!” Pacifica all but proved that point as she began leading the way to the lake. She stopped short in front of the girls, however, making a point of parading the trophy over them one final time. “Aw, what a shame,” she sneered down at what little remained of their entry. “You know, I wasn’t expecting much from you four to begin with, but this ? It’s just plain pathetic.” She laughed, influencing the crowd around her to do the same at the girls’ expense as they all continued onward. “Better luck next time, losers!”
Unlike before, Connie didn’t even have it in her to come up with any kind of comeback. Instead, she stayed put on the ground, staring down at their entry in solemn disappointment. “‘I’m so sorry, you guys,” she said softly, sadly. “I know you all just wanted to have a good time, but I wouldn’t let you. I was so obsessed with beating Pacifica that I didn’t even notice I was making all of you miserable . And in the end, it was all for nothing anyway.”
She was more than ready to watch as the others left her there to wallow in shame, and she wouldn’t blame them if they did, after how she’d treated them all afternoon. But to her surprise, that’s not what happened, as Mabel extended a hand out to help her up instead. “I wouldn’t say it was all for nothing…” she said with a small, leading smile.
“At least we still got to play around with sidewalk chalk,” Grenda shrugged. “That’s always a good time; I mean, just look at how colorful my hands are now!” She held them up, showing off the rainbow of chalk dust coating them.
“And now that the contest is over,” Candy added brightly. “We can draw whatever we want! For fun this time!”
“Who needs a ton of money or some fancy French artist or even dumb old trophy when we’ve got each other?” Mabel finished warmly. “That’s way better than any prize if you ask me.”
“...Yeah,” Connie couldn’t help but smile as she took Mabel’s hand. “I guess it is.”
From there, the girls moved on from their ruined entry, picking an empty section of the sidewalk to start over from scratch. This time, none of them focused on trying to create a specific theme or follow any singular idea. They all drew whatever they wanted to, however they wanted to, talking, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company all the while, just like they’d set out to do from the very start.
As the afternoon wore on, they continued to forge their newfound friendships through colorful chalk creations. And as they did, they all came to realize something important: why would any of them struggle so hard to be the “best” when sometimes, being the “worst” was way more fun ?
The trek to the Multi-Bear’s lair was an arduous one, spanning across the vast forests and hills of Gravity Falls. While it barely even felt like a hike to Dipper, Steven struggled to keep pace with him for most of it. As a result, the boys hadn’t gotten much of a chance to actually talk through the deadly mission they’d been sent on, much less what they’d have to do if they overcame it. But when they finally reached the dark maw of the Multi-Bear’s mountain cave, Steven found he couldn’t remain silent about his growing misgivings any longer.
“Dipper…” he began as they stood within the threshold of the cave. “A-are you sure about this?”
“Of course, I am,” Dipper nodded. The unsteady edge in his tone wasn’t lost on Steven. “Now, come on.”
“Wait,” Steven grabbed his arm to stop him. “I… don’t think this is a good idea. Maybe we oughta think a little more about this first.”
“Think about what?” Dipper raised an eyebrow. “We know what we’re here to do, so let’s go do it already.”
“But… I just…” Steven sighed, looking away. “This doesn’t feel right…”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean… is what we’re about to do really worth it?” Steven bit his lip, nervous. “I know the manotaurs said they don’t like the Multi-Bear, but does that really make it ok for us to just hunt him down and… end him?”
Dipper let out a small, forced laugh, trying his best not to show he was sharing many of the same doubts as Steven. “What? Are you serious? It’s totally worth it. The Multi-Bear is probably some horrifying monster that terrorizes these woods for fun. Getting rid of him will be for the best.”
“But what if it’s not?!” Steven countered earnestly. “What if… what if the manotaurs were wrong? What if being a man isn’t about being super macho or tough? What if being strong doesn’t mean being mean ?”
“Oh, come on, Steven,” Dipper called his bluff again. Even though he knew Steven was right, even though he knew so much about this was wrong, they’d worked so hard and come so far; there was no way he was backing down now. “I think the manotaurs know a thing or two about being manly. I mean, nobody’s ever gotten strong from sitting around and just talking about their feelings. And besides, weren’t you saying that you wanted to be super strong? Like Sugilite?”
“Well… yeah…” Steven admitted. “But at what cost? Hurting others doesn’t really seem like the kind of thing that makes a man; it’s the kind of thing that makes a bully.”
“So what?” Dipper asked, much harsher than he’d meant to. “You’re just giving up then? I thought you were with me on this!”
“I was!” Steven insisted, distraught. “But Dipper, this… this going way too far! I don’t care if it means I’m weak or afraid, I just… can’t go through with this. I won’t. And you shouldn’t either.”
For a moment, Dipper nearly listened to Steven. He nearly put his spear down and turned back before he could go too far. But with his pride on the line, with every ounce of strength he longed to have at stake, he found himself slowly stepping forward instead. “Sorry, Steven,” he barely spared a glance back over his shoulder, his tone cold and resolved. “But I have to do this.”
“Wait!” Steven shouted after him as he ran headfirst into the cave. “Dipper!”
Despite his worry, Steven didn’t follow Dipper into the cave, leaving him to face the Multi-Bear alone. Dipper figured that was just as well; Steven would only continue to try to change his mind, to sway him away from his ultimate goal. That goal, or rather, his target, soon became apparent as he noticed the large, unwieldy shape looming in the shadows behind him. His grip on his spear tightened as he spun around to face the monster when it out a fierce, echoing roar.
As it turned out, the Multi-Bear was quite literally a “multi” bear. The fearsome beast was made up of several bears conjoined together to create a singular, bulky, malformed body. His multiple arms and heads only made him all the more imposing as he towered tall over the small boy standing boldly before him.
“Bear heads, silence!” the central head commanded. However, the other heads apparently weren’t as intelligent as one of them continued to roar, though it was soon quieted by an authoritative smack. “Child, why have you come here?”
“Multi-Bear! I seek your head!” Dipper brazenly proclaimed. He did his best to chase away his lingering apprehension, forcing masculine courage to take its place. “Or… one of them, anyway. There’s like what? Six heads?”
“This is foolish!” the Multi-Bear bellowed angrily, his deep voice rattling the walls of the cave. “Leave now or die!”
Undaunted by this threat, Dipper took up an offensive stance as he pointed his spear at the Multi-Bear, setting his expression in an unwavering glare. “So be it…” the Multi-Bear growled as he rose to his full height, all of his heads roaring in violent unison.
The Multi-Bear was the first to charge, though Dipper easily leapt out of the path of his sharp claws. From there, he grabbed a nearby rock, chucking it hard at the Multi-Bear’s main head. With the beast dazed from the blow, Dipper rushed forward, hurriedly climbing up the behemoth’s back. He made good use of his spear, shoving it against the main head’s throat in an attempt at choking the Multi-Bear out. Despite the monster’s best efforts to break free, he ultimately ended up losing his breath, weakly collapsing to the ground in surprisingly swift defeat.
“A real man shows no mercy!” Dipper shouted, caught up in the rush of battle. He stood steady atop the Multi-Bear’s fallen form, ready to finish the job and prove his manliness and strength at long last, until…
“Very well, warrior…” the Multi-Bear sighed, clearly ashamed by his failure. “Victory is yours… But will you grant a magical beast one last request?”
“Uh… okay?” Dipper shrugged. After breaking into the creature’s own home and brutally conquering, he figured he might as well give him that much in his final moments. It was only fair, after all.
“I wish to die listening to my favorite song,” the Multi-Bear nodded one of his heads towards a tape player sitting on a nearby rock. Hoping that this wasn’t some sort of trick, Dipper hopped off the beast’s back and headed over to it, wondering what kind of music a Multi-Bear would be into. However, his curiosity was soon replaced with shock the moment he hit play and heard a song that he readily recognized: “Disco Girl”.
“You listen to Icelandic pop group BABBA?” Dipper asked in disbelief as he turned back to the Multi-Bear. “I… I love BABBA…”
“I thought I was the only one,” the Multi-Bear said. “All of the manotaurs make fun of me because I know all of the words to the song ‘Disco Girl’.”
“Oh, you mean: Disco girl …” Dipper began, singing along with the tape as the Multi-Bear joined in.
“Coming through…”
“That girl is you!” they both finished brightly.
“This is crazy!” Dipper laughed, bewildered by this incredible coincidence. “Finally someone who understands!” His smile soon shifted into a regretful frown however as he glanced down at the spear still in his hand, reminding him of what he had come here to do in the first place. “Oh yeah… Uh, I guess I’m supposed to… kill you? Or I’ll never be a man?”
“It’s fine,” the Multi-Bear closed his eyes, ready to die with dignity. “I accept my fate.”
“R-really?” Dipper asked, more hesitant about this than ever before. He remembered what Steven said, how he’d questioned whether being a man really was all about mindless violence and brute strength after all. The manotaurs claimed those were the only things manliness were, and yet…
He shook his head as he made up his mind. There was only one option here, regardless of the consequences he could face because of it. It didn’t matter if he was hailed as a true “man”, whatever that really meant, or not. He knew what he had to do.
So that’s exactly what he did.
Steven sighed as he paced just outside of the Multi-Bear’s cave, anxiously waiting for either Dipper’s return or a sign that he needed help. The sounds of the skirmish had faded quite some time ago, leaving only concerning silence in its place. He was nearly on the verge of venturing inside the cave to see what was happening when Dipper finally emerged, fortunately only a little worse for wear.
“Dipper!” Steven rushed over to him, wrapping him in a tight hug. “I’m so glad you’re ok! I was starting to think something had happened there!”
“I’m fine, Steven,” Dipper assured, smiling weakly as they broke apart. “Well… physically, at least…”
“What happened?” Steven asked, though he was already starting to piece it together. He was surprised, and admittedly relieved when he realized the Multi-Bear’s decapitated head was nowhere in sight.
“I couldn’t do it,” Dipper admitted, rubbing his arm. “You were right; turns out the Multi-Bear didn’t deserve it at all. I beat him and everything, but when it came down to killing him… it didn’t feel right… I guess that really does make me a wimp, huh?”
“Are you kidding?” Steven asked, laughing. “Not even a little! I think deciding not to go through with it makes you even braver and stronger than if you actually had done it!”
“Yeah, well you know what will take even more bravery?” Dipper asked, unable to share Steven’s smile “Standing up to the manotaurs and telling them they were wrong about everything.”
“Well, no matter what happens, I’ve got your back,” Steven threw an arm over his shoulder as they began to descend the mountain together. “And who knows? Maybe we’ll end up teaching those manotaurs a thing or two about what being manly really means!”
“You two know nothing about being manly!” Leadertaur roared angrily. Upon their return to the Man Cave, Steven and Dipper made their stand, and as to be expected, the manotaurs were anything but happy about it. “You were told! The price of manliness is the Multi-Bear's head!”
“But is it, really?” Steven asked diffidently.
“Listen, Leadertaur, alright?” Dipper began. “You too, Testostoraur, Pubertaur, and… I don’t know, whatever your name is? Uh, Beardy?”
“It’s Beardy,” the heavily-bearded manotaur in question confirmed.
“You guys keep telling us that being strong and manly means doing all these tasks, and being aggressive all the time, but I’m starting to think all that stuff’s malarkey.”
The manotaurs let out a shared gasp of shock at having their staunch views challenged outright like this. Despite their surprise, however, Dipper doubled down with just as much zeal. “You heard me: malarkey. So maybe we don’t have muscles or hair in certain places, and sure, when a girly pop song comes on the radio, sometimes I leave it on! Because dang it, top 40 hits are in the top 40 for a reason! They’re catchy !”
“And maybe I am a Crystal Gem!” Steven added, proudly showing off his gem once more. “But you know what? I’m proud to be one! The Crystal Gems are really brave and smart and heroic, even if they are all girls! I don’t see anything wrong with that, and neither should any of you.”
“So… what are you two saying?” Chutzpar asked, narrowing his eyes at the boys.
“We’re saying that the Multi-Bear is a really nice guy,” Dipper asserted. “And you’re a bunch of jerks if you want us to cut off his head!”
“Yeah!” Steven firmly agreed. “He did nothing wrong! You guys just like bullying him because he’s different from you. Why don’t you actually try getting along with him? Maybe then you could all be friends!”
“NEVER!” Leadertaur shouted stubbornly. “We’ll give you one last chance: kill the Multi-Bear or never be men!”
Steven and Dipper exchanged a hardened glance, not even needing to consider their choice. When it came right down to it, the answer really had been right in front of them all along. “Then I guess we’ll never be men,” Dipper said with calm finality. Steven added his agreement with a simple nod, knowing that the kind of strength that the manotaurs flaunted was only muscle-deep.
Expectantly, the manotaurs didn’t respond well. They were quick to erupt into a round of disapproving boos and jeers, not that the boys paid them much mind as they began to leave the Man Cave behind. Despite the manotaurs’ teasing, they both shared a smile, confident that they’d made the right choice and done the right thing, no matter how difficult it may have been.
“I can’t believe we just did that…” Dipper said as soon as he and Steven were out of the Man Cave.
“We did what we had to,” Steven shrugged, rubbing his shoulder to try and ease the soreness he was still feeling. “At least we don’t have to do any more “manly challenges”. I don’t know how many more of those I could take!”
Dipper let out a small laugh, though it soon fizzled out into a wistful sigh. “You know, even after all that, I still can’t help but wonder if we’ll ever be strong in the way we want to be…”
“I think we will be, someday,” Steven offered him a bright, encouraging smile. “We’ll be strong together , and once we are, nothing will be able to stop us!”
“You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that, Steven.”
“Huh?” The boys started, surprised when Pearl suddenly emerged from behind a nearby tree with a sheepish, yet satisfied smile on her face.
“What the…? Pearl?” Dipper asked, confused.
“Hello, Steven, Dipper,” she greeted cheerily, ignoring the bewilderment written all over both of their faces.
“What are you doing here?” Steven wondered curiously.
“Oh, well, I was concerned about the two of you hanging out with those brutish manotaurs, so I decided to tag along from a distance to make sure they didn’t push you too far,” Pearl explained. “But it turns out I had nothing to worry about! When given the choice between senseless violence and sound reasoning, you two made the right decision after all.” She rested a hand on both of their shoulders, her already kind and supportive smile widening with what she had to tell them next. “I’m very proud of you both.”
“Thanks, Pearl!” Steven grinned happily. “You were right all along; being tough and macho doesn’t actually make someone strong. I only wish we had realized it sooner. Sorry for not listening to you earlier…”
“Oh, it’s quite alright, Steven,” Pearl assured as she fondly ruffled his hair. “I knew you’d figure it out. And even more impressive yet, you both did it all on your own too.”
“Wait, so, not that this isn’t really touching but… can we go back to how you’ve been secretly following us around all day?” Dipper asked, eyeing Pearl warily. “Because I think we really ought to talk about that.”
“Er… well, you see, I-”
Before she could awkwardly elaborate, the ground suddenly began to rumble alongside the enraged shout echoing through the area. Alarmed, Pearl ran to the edge of the nearby bluff, Steven and Dipper not too far behind so they could all see the towering figuring rampaging their way.
“What is that?” Dipper asked, baffled by the massive, four-armed woman storming through the woods.
“It’s Sugilite!” Steven announced with an eager smile. It was quick to fade, however, when he noticed the bitter scowl on the fusion’s face as she continued shoving trees aside, easily topping them over.
“I’m BORED!” she yelled, her voice booming angrily across the forest.
“Y-you’re back!” Pearl exclaimed. Despite her relief, she instinctively positioned herself in front of the boys, just in case. After all, when it came to Sugilite, she never really knew what to expect.
“You left me behind!” Sugilite accused, glaring down at the much smaller group before her.
“I just thought you didn’t need any help!” Pearl tried to reason, even if she knew that Sugilite never listened. “Now, why don’t you two separate and we can all sit down and-”
“NO!” the fusion threw her fist down at them, knocking them off their feet and nearly cruising them in her blind rage.
“Listen to me!” Pearl quickly rose to stand. “You’ve been fused for too long! You’re losing yourselves!”
“I AM myself, and I’m sick of being split up!” Sugilite argued stubbornly. “So you better get used to me, baby! ‘CAUSE I’M HERE TO STAY!”
With another brutal shout, the fusion swung her lower fists out at the bluff, knocking off large chunks of earth as Pearl, Steven, and Dipper were forced to withdraw to escape her wrath. “ That’s what Garnet and Amethyst are like fused together?” Dipper asked, aptly frightened.
“Yeah, but I don’t get it!” Steven shook his head. “Why is she acting like this? Why is she attacking us?!”
“That doesn’t matter!” Pearl said over the sounds of the destruction Sugilite was causing. “You two need to get out of here!”
“But we wanna help!” Steven insisted, ready to do anything to get Garnet and Amethyst to return to their senses.
“Yeah!” Dipper agreed just as brazenly.
Pearl had no time to argue with them as another round of battle cries suddenly rose into the air. The clamor the fusion was causing hadn’t gone unnoticed by the manotuars as they rushed out of the Man Cave, more than ready to confront the danger threatening their home head-on. “HEY! YOU!” Chutzpar shouted at Sugilite. “We don’t care how big you might be; no woman is gonna come up here and wreck our turf! So beat it!”
“ Your turf?” Sugilite retorted with a harsh scoff. “Yeah right! This place is mine now, boys, so why don’t you beat it!? Or how about I just beat all of YOU!”
Without any effort at all, she grabbed a large boulder up from the forest floor and held it up high above her head, smirking darkly as she prepared to slam it down onto the manotaurs. Even with their muscles and spears, they quickly realized they were no match for the massive size and strength of the fusion. Which was why, in a rare act for the usually brave manotaurs, they all fled back to the Man Cave, right before Sugilite chucked her boulder after all of them, only narrowly missing as she let out a crazed cackle.
“Huh,” Dipper said to Steven as they watched the manotaurs’ cowardly retreat. “So much for ‘a real man never runs away from a fight’.”
With the situation only getting worse by the second, Pearl quickly decided to act. She rushed to the tip of the bluff, summoning her spear as she took aim against her own teammates, as much as she didn’t want to. “WHAT?!” the fusion challenged as she glared down at the much smaller Gem. “YOU WANNA FIGHT TOO?!”
“You’ll thank me for this later !” Pearl fearlessly leapt from her perch, only to be backhanded to the ground. She didn’t give up though, picking herself up as she took to the treetops to get a better vantage point. Sugilite tried punching her away again, but Pearl outmaneuvered her, landing a high kick that knocked the fusion’s shades off, revealing all five of her piercing violet eyes.
“YOU THINK YOU’RE SOMETHING?!” Sugilite roared, catching Pearl by surprise as she knocked her skyward. From there, she struck the smaller Gem hard in the side, hitting her over and over again from there, with each blow more brutal than the last. “YOU! AIN’T! NOTHING !”
Her final kick sent Pearl crashing to the forest floor, her entire form screaming with pain. She was still struggling to pick herself up off the ground when she saw Sugilite summon her flail, which she didn’t hesitate to viciously toss in her direction, thankfully missing her due to the cover of the trees.
“Pearl!” Steven’s concerned cry only barely reached her. Pearl didn’t even have it in her to steal a glance up at him as she tried and failed to stand, desperately clinging onto her spear for support as she dug its tip into the ground. Shame swelled up inside of her as she looked back up at Sugilite, realizing that her team members were still in there and that there was painfully little she could do to separate them now.
“I… I can’t do this…” she muttered, her tears finally falling as she bowed her head in defeat. “I’m sorry!” she cried up to the two boys watching her from the cliff. “Garnet… Amethyst…” she choked on another agonized sob, this time for her maddened teammates. “I wasn’t strong enough to save you… I’m not strong enough to do anything… ”
“That’s not true!” Steven countered, resolved to inspire her the same way she always inspired him. “Come on, Pearl! Don’t give up! I know you can take her down!”
“Yeah, you gotta get up, Pearl!” Dipper encouraged just as earnestly. “Who else is gonna separate those two?!”
“I can’t!” Pearl tearfully, woefully replied.
“Yes, you can!” Steven argued passionately, trying his best not to tear up himself. “You always know what to do! You gotta show her what you showed us! That you’re strong, Pearl! Strong in the real way!”
Pearl drew in a sharp breath as she heard that phrase again, ringing through her far louder than any of the shame or sorrow overwhelming her. There was no doubt that Sugilite had ample amounts of physical strength, but without restraint and control, what was that strength really worth? And as Pearl realized that she had so much more to offer instead of muscles or brute force, she wiped her tears away, her confidence renewed as she smiled, ready to stand firm and defeat the rogue fusion once and for all.
“Hey!” Pearl called out to Sugilite, refusing to back down this time.
“WHAT?!” the fusion snarled down at her. “YOU WANT SOME MORE?!”
“Any time!” Pearl proclaimed as she summoned another spear. “You’re no match for me! Not even CLOSE!” With this, she threw her spear up at Sugilite, landing a sizable cut across the side of her face. The fusion growled furiously as she threw a punch Pearl’s way, but this time, she was more than ready to leap out of its path as she began to outmaneuver her larger opponent.
“Yeah, Pearl!” Steven cheered her on. Dipper, on the other hand, was no longer content to simply sit and watch this battle unfold from the sidelines.
“Steven, we have to help her!” he said, resolved as he began to put his newfound plan into action. “Follow my lead!”
At the same time, Pearl made good use of the one thing she had on her side that Sugilite didn’t: speed. Using agile leaps, she made sure to steer clear of the fusion’s attacks, all while trying to come up with a plan for defeating her. However, it seemed as though the boys already had that covered as they managed to distract Sugilite by launching a barrage of small stones her way.
“Wha-?” the fusion spun around after being struck with several rocks from behind, only to find Steven and Dipper throwing them at her from the cliff.
“Hey, Sugilite!” Dipper called out challengingly. “Bet you can’t catch us!”
“You two?!” Sugilite scoffed. “Please! I’ll crush you like the bugs you are!”
Knowing that they had to act now, Dipper quickly took Steven by the hand and practically dragged him off the bluff just before Sugilite could smash it entirely. Running as fast as they could, the boys hurried down the hillside, racing through the forest as the fusion began to peruse them with thunderous footsteps. Pearl gasped, alarmed as realized the danger they were in, and she didn’t hesitate to give chase as well as she passed between Sugilite’s legs, unseen.
“What are you two doing!?” she demanded as she joined stride alongside them.
“Don’t worry!” Dipper reassured her a bit breathlessly as they charged through the woods towards town. “I’ve got a plan!”
Despite her reservations, Pearl decided to go along with whatever they had in mind. All the while, Sugilite continued to gain on them, her fury burning hotter than ever as she slammed her way through any and every tree in her path. “Get back here!”
“Ha!” Sugilite laughed triumphantly as she tossed a tree forward. It crashed down just shy of the group, blocking their path forward and leaving them with no other way to escape. “Nice try! But running away ain’t gonna save you now!”
“O-okay…” Dipper frowned as they all backed up a bit. “We may need to come up with a new plan…”
“I think I may have something in mind…” Pearl smiled as she looked over to the tall tree to her right. “You two stay down here and figure out a way to distract her. I’ll take care of her once and for all.”
Steven and Dipper did as she said, both of them splitting up to divert the fusion’s attention. Sugilite let out another furious growl, refusing to be tricked again as she slammed her fists down at them, only narrowly missing them once more. Before she could try again, however, a spear sliced across her chest from above.
Pearl stood atop one of the few trees that actually managed to stand taller than Sugilite, balancing on its point on her tip-toes. Sugilite took a swing at the tree, smashing it in half only after the Pearl jumped from it, soaring high over the fusion’s head. Not letting her get away this time, Sugilite quickly tossed her flail up at her, only for it to miss its target and continue sailing high into the air above her.
“Is that all you got?!” Sugilite sneered as she raised her foot to crush Pearl underneath it. “You think that’s enough to beat-”
The fusion was abruptly cut off when her flail suddenly fell back down from above, striking her squarely on top of her head. Such a devastating blow was more than even the mighty Sugilite could handle, despite all her bawdy bravado. In a massive explosion of light, she came undone as Garnet and Amethyst flew apart from each other, their wild, wicked fusion finally defeated and disbanded at last.
“Byeeeee, Candy! Bye, Grenda!” Mabel called out after her new friends, waving them a fond farewell. As the day began to draw to a close, the girls parted ways, though not before covering most of Main Street in a plethora of colorful chalk drawings. “See you for the slumber party next week! I’ll bring the cupcakes and neon lights!”
Connie chuckled as she waved goodbye to the pair as well. Still, she couldn’t help but sigh as she and Mabel began to head back toward the woods. “Mabel, I’m really sorry again for what happened earlier,” she said, earnestly apologetic. “You were right, I really was getting carried away.”
“Aw, for the last time, Connie, you don’t gotta worry about it!” Mabel assured, smiling. “Everyone goes a little overboard sometimes. Just look at how the boys were acting at the diner earlier!”
“Speaking of which…” Connie mused. “I wonder where they’ve been all day anyway…”
“Eh, they’re probably out beating each other up in the woods or eating dirt or something,” Mabel shrugged, unconcerned. “You know, normal boy stuff.”
Before Connie could question her logic, a sudden quake rattled the street they were heading down, nearly knocking them both off their feet. “Whoa!” Mabel exclaimed, surprised. “What was that?”
“It sounded like it came from the woods,” Connie turned in the direction of the forest, already leading the way there. “Come on, we should check it out!”
“Amethyst! Garnet!” Pearl raced over to her fallen teammates, who were both lying incapacitated on the ground in the aftermath of their defeat. Dipper and Steven joined her, both of them relieved to see that Sugilite had been taken down and torn apart. “Are you okay?!”
“Yeah…” Garnet moaned, clearly worn out as she remained unmoving on the ground. “Sugilite just overworked our bodies… It’s… a little painful.”
“Ugh… I’ve got a monster headache…” Amethyst muttered, agonized.
Pearl, however, disregarded their pain as she joyfully embraced them both, though she quickly released them upon hearing their unified groans of protest. “Whoops!” she laughed sheepishly as she allowed them both to rest and recover. “Sorry…”
“Pearl, you did it!” Steven congratulated enthusiastically.
“That’s not entirely true…” Pearl said with a fond grin as she wrapped her arms around both boys’ shoulders. “ We did it.”
Steven and Dipper exchanged a smile, finding room to be proud of themselves, even despite everything the manotaurs had told them. At the end of the day, they’d still found a way to prove their strength in a way that truly mattered. Not through vicious violence or wreckless destruction, but through unwavering courage and unending resolve instead.
“Dipper!” Mabel suddenly emerged from the nearby fallen treeline, with Connie following soon after. “Whoa! You’re a mess, bro-bro! And so are you, Steven!” she stopped short when she saw just how battle-weary they both were.
“What happened to you guys?” Connie asked, concerned.
“Sugilite got a little out of control, so we helped Pearl defeat her so she could split apart!” Steven explained with a proud grin.
“What?! You mean we missed her again?” Mabel groaned, dismayed. “Darn it! Oh well… Maybe we’ll get to see her next time!”
“Hopefully not…” Pearl muttered as she offered Garnet and Amethyst a thin, knowing grin.
“Well… Defeating a crazed Gem fusion wasn’t the only thing we did today…” Dipper admitted a bit hesitantly.
“Oh really?” Mabel asked, intrigued. “What else happened? Fill us in on all the deets!”
“So that these half-man half-bull humanoids were hanging out with us,” Dipper began, glancing away. “But then they wanted us to do this really tough, horrible thing, but it just wasn’t right. I was actually going to go through with it, but in the end, I decided not to.”
“It was really brave,” Steven vouched when the girls shared a surprised, doubtful glance. “And definitely super manly if you ask me!”
“Well, it sure sounds impressive,” Connie agreed, grinning.
“Hm…” Mabel looked her brother over, not entirely convinced. At least until she spotted something he hadn’t yet. “Wait a minute… Do my eyes deceive me? Dipper, I think you have a chest hair!”
Not skipping a beat, Dipper pulled his shirt down as he let out a gasp of pleasant surprise. “Oh my gosh! You’re right!” he exclaimed triumphantly. “This is amazing! I really do! Take that, man tester! Take that, Pituitor! This guy has a chest hair!” However, he only had a moment to celebrate that hair before Mabel suddenly reached over and plucked it right from his chest.
“Scrap-bookertunity!” she cheerfully plastered the hair in her scrapbook, ignoring the look of horrified shock that her brother was giving her.
“Eh, it’s ok, Dipper,” Steven laughed, throwing an arm over his shoulder. “I still don’t have any chest hair either.”
“Well, at least I know I’m not alone,” Dipper sighed, though he still smiled all the same. “So what did you guys do all day?”
“We played with sidewalk chalk,” Mabel grinned. The chalk dust covering both her and Connie was more than enough proof of that.
“Aw, what?” Steven asked. “We should have done that instead. It sounds way more fun than all those ‘manly challenges’ we did!”
“Heh, yeah…” Connie exchanged a knowing, good-natured look with Mabel. “It was fun… eventually.”
Pearl held her own satisfied smile as she watched the kids continue to converse, only for Garnet to softly speak up to catch her attention. “Pearl, we’re sorry. We should have listened to you… You were right.”
“Yeah,” Pearl nodded, her confidence and zeal quickly building. “Yeah, I was right, wasn’t I?”
“Go Pearl!” Steven cheered, just as proud of her as she was of him.
“Come on!” Pearl declared to her listless teammates. “I feel great! Who’s up for a mission?! Or…”
As she continued her cheerful rant, Amethyst and Garnet merely exchanged a passive glance, neither of them having the energy or really the right to derail her after Sugilite’s rampage. “How long is she going to keep this up?” Amethyst asked with an exhausted sigh.
“We deserve it,” Garnet admitted. After all, if Sugilite had no mercy on Pearl, then it only made sense for Pearl to take no mercy on them. “Take it like a Gem.”
Notes:
Next time, the hunt for the laser light canons begins...
Chapter 6: Magic and Mystery
Summary:
With the Red Eye threatening to destroy Gravity Falls, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel set out to search for the pair of Laser Light Cannons that once belonged to Rose Quartz.
Notes:
Woo baby! Hard to believe we're already at what was originally the end of old UF's first arc, huh? Honestly I'm glad for it though and I'm even gladder for how this chapter turned out, essentially combining what was once a two parter and sort of setting up a lot more for both the lore and the character dynamics. I think it turned out pretty great, so I hope you enjoy the search for the Cannons! Let's get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
OYFGSEAQUF RMR MR IA GVR KMY
YVUUL EAABBF DGT GUSVJ OATVQ SDA
“Ohhhhhh! He’s a frozen treat with an all-new taste!”
“‘Cause he came to this planet from outer space!”
“A refugee from an interstellar war!”
“But now he’s at your local grocery store!”
“Cookie Cat! He’s a pet for your tummy!”
“Cookie Cat! He’s super-duper yummy!”
“Cookie Cat! He left his family behind!”
“Cookie Caaaaat!”
“Now available at Gurgens off Route 109!” Steven brightly finished, holding his own Cookie Cat high into the air. As soon as Mabel finished her half of the rap duet, she eagerly stuffed her own ice cream sandwich into her mouth. Dipper, on the other hand, could only roll his eyes as he tore open his own frozen treat.
“And here I thought Mabel was the only person who memorized commercial jingles word-for-word,” he said, grinning nonetheless.
“Mm! So good!” Mabel exclaimed, ignoring the mess of ice cream smeared across her face. “Steven, where on earth did you get these Cookie Cats? I thought they stopped making them!”
“They did,” Steven hopped off the couch, heading over to the freezer where his Cookie Cat stash awaited. “But the Gems got a whole bunch of them for me from the factory a few weeks ago. I’ve eaten a few already, but I’ve been saving most of them for a special occasion. And what could be a more special occasion than you guys finally getting the chance to hang out here at the temple?”
“By the way, thanks for having us over, Steven,” Dipper said, reclining back onto the couch a bit. He didn’t get a chance to settle in long before Mabel tried stealing his Cookie Cat away, only to be met with a playful push. She quickly gave up when Steven returned with even more ice cream sandwiches in tow. “It’s nice to get a chance to relax and watch…” he paused, frowning as he turned his attention back to the TV. “What is this again?”
“It’s Crying Breakfast Friends!” Steven smiled as he plopped back onto the couch between the twins. He leaned in to catch up on the escapades of the incoherently sobbing cartoon foods on screen. “Isn’t it great ?”
“I don’t know if ‘great’ would be the word I would use to describe it…” Dipper noted, skeptical.
“Oh come on, bro-bro!” Mabel stuck her tongue out at her brother. “I love this show! It may not look like much at first, but it’s actually super deep and it has a lot of complex layers and themes. Plus, Mourning Muffin is absolutely adorable !”
“I know, right?” Steven agreed. “Personally, I’m a Bawling Bacon kinda guy myself.”
Despite their enthusiasm, Dipper didn’t really come close to sharing it. He was nearly on the verge of asking if they could change the channel when their mundane morning suddenly got much more interesting. A bright flash of light burst over the warp pad at the far end of the house, instantly catching the twins’ shared surprised fascination.
“Whoa…” they both whispered, completely dazzled. For his part, Steven simply offered them both a knowing smile; after all, this was an every-day sight for him.
As the light faded, the Crystal Gems appeared, hot off the heels of another successful mission. Pearl and Amethyst shared a proud smirk, while Garnet stood between them, a bubbled gemstone hovering over her hand. Much like she’d done with the centipeedle a few days ago, she sent the bubble to somewhere unknown with a mere flick of her wrist. Just one of the many peculiar, impressive feats the Gems could apparently pull off.
“Hi, guys!” Steven hopped up from the couch, running over to meet them.
“Oh! Hello there, kids!” Pearl greeted. She offered the twins a polite wave as they followed after Steven, still amazed by what they’d just seen. “What are you both doing here?
“Oh, don’t tell me,” Amethyst smirked. “You got tired of hanging around the shack with Stan, so you came up here to chill with us instead, right? Can’t say I blame you. The old guy can be a bit of a drag sometimes.”
“Um… well, we’re technically supposed to be working down at the shack right now…” Dipper admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.
“But what Grunkle Stan doesn’t know won’t kill him!” Mabel chimed in much more cheerily. “Maybe. Probably. Hopefully. I mean, he is pretty old… Hm…”
“Ha! Skipping work to have fun instead? Turns out you two are cooler than I thought,” Amethyst elbowed both of the twins as she pushed her way past them toward the kitchen. “Which is crazy; I never thought anyone related to Stan could be “cool”.”
“I hate to say it, but I can’t help but agree with Amethyst…” Pearl interjected, a diffident frown on her face. “While I usually wouldn’t approve of anyone shirking away from their responsibilities, you kids are probably much better off spending your time up here instead of at that so-called ‘Mystery’ Shack.”
“Oh! Oh!” Mabel’s hand shot up into the air. “Do you guys have any real mysteries here?”
“A few,” Garnet said vaguely.
“Oh yeah?” Dipper asked, instantly curious. Between lake monsters and manotaurs, he hadn’t gotten a chance to investigate the Gems as much as would have liked. And what better place to start than here, in the very temple they called home, getting answers straight from the source? “Mysteries like… whatever’s behind that door over there?”
He pointed to the large, elegant door that stood behind the warp pad, marked with a star and a gemstone resting on each of its points. “Oh, you mean the temple?” Amethyst asked, sticking her head back out of the fridge as she rooted through it.
“The temple?” Dipper repeated, confused. “I thought we were in the temple.”
“Nah, dude, this isn’t the temple,” Amethyst corrected. “This is just the house. It’s kinda like a lobby to the temple.”
“Wait, so does that mean my room is part of the lobby?” Steven asked. “Maybe I should set up a welcome desk for when visitors come by, just like a real lobby!”
“Anyway…” Pearl continued. “The temple serves as our base. Garnet, Amethyst, and I live inside of it, while Steven has his own room out here. At least until he becomes more accustomed to using his gem.”
“Yep!” Steven perched his hands on his hips, taking up a bold pose. “And when I do, I’ll be able to go in there any time I want, right?”
“Yes,” Garnet answered before Pearl could protest.
“Wow! I bet there’s so many cool things in there!” Mabel exclaimed, excited. “Mind if we take a peek?”
She attempted stepping past the Gems to get a better look, only for Garnet to block the way to halt her advance. “That’s not a very good idea.”
“What? Why not?” Dipper asked.
“Um… well, the temple… It’s a bit… dangerous,” Pearl explained, frowning awkwardly. “Especially for… non-Gems-”
“‘Non-Gems’, pfft, just say it like it is, P,” Amethyst cut in. “It’s waaaay too much for plain ol’ humans, like you guys!” She jumped in between the twins, ruffling their hair as she let out a laugh. In light of the circumstances, her “joke” wasn’t one that either Dipper or Mabel found very funny.
“Amethyst!” Pearl scolded, appalled by her rudeness. “But yes… The temple really is no place for humans. We’re sorry, but we just don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”
“But don’t be so down about it!” Amethyst encouraged as soon as she noticed the frowns on both of the twins’ faces. “At least you guys can still hang out here with Steven.”
“Yeah!” Steven exclaimed, wrapping an arm around each of their shoulders. “And you guys are welcome here any time!”
“...Thanks, Steven,” Dipper returned with a half-hearted smile. Still, he couldn’t quite keep his sights off the temple door, longing to get even just a peek at whatever lay beyond it. At the secrets the Gems seemed so keen on keeping completely to themselves.
“We have to go,” Garnet said to her teammates, already heading for the front door.
“What? But you guys just got back,” Steven frowned. “Don’t you wanna hang out with us for a while?”
“We’d love to, Steven,” Pearl said with a smile that didn’t meet her eyes. “But we have to perform our weekly check over the town. Gravity Falls isn’t going to protect itself, you know.”
“Right…” Steven sighed. “See you later, then?”
“See you later,” Garnet returned with a soft, sincere smile.
“Don’t have too much fun without us!” Amethyst sent them a wave as they headed out, leaving three mutually disappointed kids behind.
“They didn’t even answer my question…” Dipper said as soon as he was sure the Gems were out of earshot. “They didn’t tell us anything about the temple at all!”
“Yeah…” Steven rubbed his arm absently, looking away. “But that’s ok! I’ve asked them about it a bunch of times before too, and they’ve never really told me that much about it either.”
“Wait, seriously?” Dipper asked, appalled by this news. “You’ve been living here for how long now and they still haven’t told you anything about the giant door at the back of your own house? And you’re just… ok with that?”
“Um… well…”
“Aw, don’t be so blue, you guys,” Mabel made a hearty attempt at cheering them both up. “If the Gems won’t let us see the temple for ourselves, we can always guess what’s inside of it instead! That’s… almost as much fun, right? I bet it’s full of magical lasers and sparkly lava! Or maybe it’s a room that’s entirely underwater, stuffed with swords and other sharp pointy-things! Or maybe the real reason why the Gems don’t want us in there is because it’s super messy and they just need to tidy up!”
As Mabel continued her fantastical rambling, Dipper let out a long sigh, his brow furrowing as he turned his attention back toward the temple. Steven did the same, albeit much more apprehensively. If it were up to him, they’d have left the topic behind already, but unfortunately, Dipper wasn’t willing to let it go just yet. “Steven,” he began, the slightest edge of frustration in his voice. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but… how much do you really know about the Gems anyway?”
“Uh… I know that they’re really cool and strong and protect humanity from monsters and-”
“I don’t mean any of that basic stuff,” Dipper quickly cut him off. “I mean the actually important stuff, like where they came from, how they got their powers, how those powers even work, what they even are to begin with. Doesn’t it bother you that you know so little about them? I mean, it bothers me and I’ve only known them for a few days, but you’ve known them for your whole life, right? So why haven’t you tried learning more about them?”
“I-I…” Steven hesitated, swallowing hard. “The Gems… they don’t like it when I ask them too many questions and I don’t like upsetting them.”
“Well, maybe you should ,” Dipper countered, his voice and expression both hard, bitter. “Because it seems to me like maybe they’re not giving you as much truth as you deserve.”
By now, even Mabel had stopped to listen in on the tense conversation between the boys. She had little to say to it, biting her lip as she looked between the pair as they practically stared straight through each other. As much as she wanted to distract them both away from their worrisome thoughts, she didn’t get a chance as a heavy crash suddenly sounded from somewhere outside.
The kids exchanged a wordless glance, each of them quickly acting on the same decision. They rushed for the door, only to find that the world outside was bathed in a strange shade of faint pink. At the foot of the porch, the Gems stood, staring up at the oddly crimson-tinged skies. Steven, Dipper, and Mabel followed their gaze, only to find a sight that shocked them all stiff.
Upon a first glance, one could have mistaken it for the sun, but with the actual sun hanging not too far away from it, that clearly wasn’t the case. The crimson orb hung high, unnaturally, in the atmosphere above Gravity Falls, and as if that wasn’t unnerving enough, something else soon became clear about the unknown object.
It was moving , slowly but surely, toward to the earth below.
Curious to know more, the kids crept down the stairs, eavesdropping in on the Gems as they used a telescope to peer up at the orb. “This is bad…” Garnet noted, calm as ever.
“What’s it doing here in the first place?” Amethyst asked, glaring up at it.
“That’s not what we should be worried about right now,” Pearl shook her head, keeping her watch through the telescope. “Look at the size of it! I had no idea these things were so big !”
“Um… you guys?”
The Gems spun around, startled, as they faced the kids. “Oh! Steven! Dipper! Mabel!” Pearl threw on a wide, fake smile. “W-what are you three doing down here?”
Dipper ignored the question, in much of the same way the Gems ignored answering his earlier. If not for the ominous object hanging over all of their heads, he would have found some kind of satisfaction in that. “What is that?” he asked, pointing at the encroaching orb in the sky.
“And more importantly, can I see?” Steven cut in. Pearl handed the telescope over to him, allowing him a much better view of the mysterious orb. The longer he looked at it, the more its true nature became apparent as he spotted the large, single pupil at the center of it. “Wow…” he gaped, passing the telescope off to Mabel so she could see next. “It’s a giant eyeball! Awesome!”
“ Not awesome,” Pearl scolded, hands on her hips. “It’s a Red Eye.”
“Red Eye?” Mabel asked. “You mean like that disease that makes your eyes all crusty and gross?”
“Oh no!” Steven cried, alarmed. “It’s going to infect us all!”
“That’s pink eye,” Garnet corrected above Amethyst’s laughter.
“So what’s so bad about this Red Eye thing anyway?” Dipper asked, getting the conversation back on track.
“A Red Eye is sort of like a meteor,” Pearl explained with an anxious frown. “If we don’t do anything about it, then it will crash into Gravity Falls and crush us, along with a bunch of oblivious, innocent people. That’s why we have to stop it!”
“Whoa! This is sorta like that one video game where you have to stop the moon from falling on a town in three days!” Steven exclaimed, grinning. “Only… we probably don’t have three days to stop this thing, do we?”
“No,” Garnet answered bluntly.
“Is there anything we can do to get rid of it?” Dipper asked. The skeptical looks both Pearl and Amethyst sent his way weren’t lost on him. After what just happened, they likely wouldn’t want him or Mabel getting involved, deeming it “too dangerous”, just like the temple. Surprisingly though, Garnet still supplied an answer all the same.
“The only things powerful enough to destroy it are the pair of laser Laser Light Cannons that belonged to Rose Quartz.”
“Rose Quartz?” Mabel asked, curious. “Who’s that?”
“My mom,” Steven spoke up, glancing down. “She’s, um… not really around anymore…”
Neither of the twins pressed him for any further details. Unsure of what else to really do, they gave him largely the same soft, sympathetic look. A look that Steven had gotten plenty of times in the past, one that never really helped fill the hole in his heart for the mother he never got a chance to meet.
“Ugh, if Rose were here, this would be so easy !” Amethyst kicked at the ground, pouting.
“I know, but she’s… not…” Pearl said, her voice tight with barely-masked grief. “And both cannons have been missing for years. We’ll just have to find another solution.”
The kids paused for a moment, each of them trying to think up such a solution. While Mabel’s ideas were all rather improbable and over the top and Dipper’s were more complex and complicated, Steven was ultimately the one to actually speak to his first. “Oh! Oh! I know! If the cannons belonged to my mom, I bet my dad knows where they are. He can help us save the day!”
An off-putting silence filled the air between the Gems the moment Steven so much as mentioned his father. Pearl cleared her throat, clearly trying her best to mask her true opinion behind what she had to say next. “Greg is… nice, Steven, but I doubt Rose would entrust someone like him with such powerful weapons.”
“Your dad’s kind of a mess, Steven,” Amethyst pointed out matter-of-factly.
“ Amethyst !” Pearl snapped, flustered.
“I’m just sayin’,” Amethyst shrugged. “Even if she did leave them with him, he probably broke them, or lost them, or dropped them in the lake by now.”
“True,” Garnet nodded her agreement.
“No way,” Steven countered, resolved. “I’m sure he’s just keeping them somewhere safe. I’ll go ask him.”
“We can handle this, Steven,” Garnet assured before turning to Amethyst. “Ready?”
“You know I am!” Amethyst got into position. From there, Garnet hoisted her up and hurled her straight toward the Red Eye with as much force as she could muster. Amethyst let out a wild shout that came to a quick end the second she smacked hard into the Red Eye’s metallic surface. She didn’t even leave so much as a dent as she began to fall back into the woods below.
“I’m ok!” she shouted somewhere far in the distance.
“Um… we’re gonna go…” Steven announced, frowning.
“Ok, good luck,” Pearl absently returned, still watching the Red Eye carefully.
“So,” Steven turned to the twins as he put on a resolved grin. “You guys wanna come with me to see if my dad has the cannons?”
“Of course!” Mabel eagerly agreed. “Anything to help out in another epic Gem mission!”
“But Steven, what if your dad doesn’t really have them?” Dipper asked, eyeing the Red Eye warily.
“Oh come on, Dipper!” Mabel smirked. “Don’t be such a Negative Nancy! He’s gotta have at least one of them, right Steven?”
“I dunno,” Steven shrugged, honest. “ But it’s worth a shot.” He began to lead the way toward town and the twins tentatively followed, their backs turned to the looming Red Eye all the while. “Now, come on! We have a town to save!”
Soos whistled to himself as he scaled up the ladder to the shack’s roof, toolbox in hand to fix the broken weathervane. On the porch below, Wendy reclined on the couch, taking advantage of the slow morning to slip out of the shack for an “extended break”. Unfortunately, that break didn’t get to go on as long as she would have liked as Stan stepped out of the shack, as surly as ever.
“Hey!” he snapped, glaring around the yard before turning his attention to his employees. “Either of you see the kids around here? They’re supposed to be cleanin’ up the museum, but it’s still just as much of a mess as it was when I sent ‘em in there.”
Soos poked his head down from his spot on the roof. “Oh yeah. I think they said somethin’ about hanging out with Steven up at his house.”
“They what ?” Stan shot a sharp look up toward the temple.
“Geez, Mr. Pines, chill,” Wendy said, not looking up from her phone. “So what if Dipper and Mabel are hanging out with Steven instead of working? It’s not like we’ve even had any customers today anyway.”
“I don’t care about that!” Stan practically growled. The genuine anger in his voice was enough to catch both Soos and Wendy off guard. “I don’t know how many times I’ve told those two knuckleheads now. I don’t want them anywhere near that freaky ‘temple’ with those even freakier Crystal Crones.”
“Why not?” Soos asked, though his question was staunchly ignored.
“And as for you,” Stan turned back to Wendy, scowling. “Get back inside and get to work already, will ya?”
“Yeah, yeah, don’t give yourself a hernia,” Wendy rolled her eyes. “Lemme just snag a few selfies first. The lighting out here is totally sick right now.”
“Must be ‘cause of that new second sun,” Soos noted, looking up at the sky.
“Second sun?” Stan raised an eyebrow as he stepped off the porch to see for himself. “Soos, I don’t know what you’re babbling on about, but I don’t see any–” He stopped short, his eyes widening at the sight of the so-called “second sun” as it continued creeping ever closer to the town below. “What the hell is that ?”
“You guys are gonna love my dad!” Steven smiled back at the twins as they followed along after him. They headed through town at a quick pace, passing by more than a few folks who had already taken notice of the Red Eye as they watched it with worried curiosity. “He’s a lot of fun, gives great hugs, and he used to be a rock star!”
“Whoa, really?” Mabel gasped, stars in her eyes. “A real rock star? Did he have a band? Did he go on tour? Can I buy his CD?”
“He didn’t have a band,” Steven chuckled. “But he’d probably just give you one of his old CDs if you ask. He used to tour too; that’s actually how he ended up here in Gravity Falls in the first place!”
“So… why’d he give all that up to work at a… car wash?” Dipper asked as Steven led them to their destination: “It’s a Wash!”.
“‘Cause of my mom,” Steven said, though he didn’t elaborate further. “Now, if I know my dad, he’s probably doing something super important in his van right now…”
Steven ran over to said van, decked out in a colorful starscape, with the words “Mr. Universe” branded boldly upon the side. Dipper and Mabel followed along, neither of them sure what to expect from this “Mr. Universe”. Especially given that Steven and the Gems seemed to have such completely contrasting opinions on him.
“Dad!” Steven tried banging on the van’s back door. When he was met with nothing, he clumsily climbed onto the roof instead, jumping up and down. “Dad, are you in there?”
“Mr. Steven’s Dad!” Mabel took over knocking on the door. “Come on out! Me and my brother would looooove to meet you!”
“Yeah! And we have to save the world !” Steven added dramatically. As he jumped down onto the roof again, the van’s alarm set off, blaring loudly through the calm of the early afternoon. It finally proved to be enough to wake Greg up as he burst out the back of the van, brandishing, of all things, a waffle iron.
“Who’s there!?” he exclaimed, alarmed. “I have a waffle iron and I-” He stopped short when he finally noticed the equally surprised twins standing in front of him. “...Huh?”
“Dad!” Steven called. “It’s me!”
Greg turned, squinting up at his son as his eyes adjusted to the waning daylight. “Steven?”
Without warning his father, Steven hopped off the van’s roof, landing squarely in Greg’s arms. ”Dad,” he grinned as his father gently set him down onto the ground. “I want you to meet my new friends: Dipper and Mabel.”
“Oh yeah,” Greg offered the twins a friendly smile. “Steven’s told me about you guys. It’s good to finally meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Universe-”
Mabel quickly cut Dipper off, unable to contain her rising excitement. “So, Steven told us that you used to be a rock star. Just how famous were you? Did you ever sign a record deal? Did you go platinum ? Did you ever get a lunchbox with your face on it? Did you-”
“Heh, I wasn’t that much of a big deal back in the day…” Greg interrupted as he let out a bashful chuckle. “I used to dream about making it that big, but… well… sometimes things don’t always turn out the way you’d think they would…” He paused for a moment, smiling wistfully before he turned back to the twins. “But anyway, Steven says you kids are visiting Mr. Pines for the summer. He’s your great uncle, right?”
The twins nodded as Greg picked up a fond, respectful smile. “You know, I used to work for Mr. Pines when I first came here to Gravity Falls. It was a part-time gig, of course, but it put food in my belly and gas in my van back when me and Steven’s mom were going out.”
“Whoa!” Steven gasped, impressed. “Dad, you never told me you used to work at the Mystery Shack! That’s so cool!”
“Yeah, I don’t like to brag about it too much, but I was the first real employee there,” Greg smirked. “Mr. Pines was actually a pretty neat boss. In fact, he even helped me out with a small loan so I could buy the car wash here.”
“Wait, he actually gave you a loan?” Dipper asked, skeptical. He had every reason to be after just how clearly Stan’s usual miserly greed shined through. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same Stan here?”
“Pretty sure…” Greg mused. “Anyway, I gotta admit, you kids gave me a bit of a scare. I almost waffled your faces!” He laughed, embarrassed as he tossed the waffle iron back into his messy van. “What are you all doing up so early anyway?”
“It’s like… 1 p.m.,” Dipper noted, glancing down at his watch.
“... Oh,” Greg scratched the back of his neck. “It was a… slow day at the car wash. So… what’s up, Steven? Did you just want to introduce me to your friends, or did you wanna see your old man, pal around, learn some lessons about life?” He grabbed his son in a loose hug, giving him a playful noogie.
Steven laughed, breaking free from his father’s hold as he forced himself to be a bit more serious. “We need the Light Cannons that used to belong to Mom, so we can blow up that eyeball!”
“Eyeball?” Greg questioned. He turned his gaze up to where Steven was pointing, watching as Amethyst soared through the air, only to useless crash into the Red Eye once more. “Wait, is this a magical thing?” he asked uncomfortably as he turned back to the kids. “The Gems told me not to get involved with magic stuff. It could be dangerous, or interfere with what’s left of my hair…”
“But the Gems need Mom’s cannons!” Steven urged. “You gotta know where they are! Or at least one of them!”
“And if you don’t remember, then maybe we could try to jog your memory!” Mabel suggested. “Are they in a sparkly cave dungeon somewhere? Or what about at the top of a giant volcano, filled with lava?! Or they might be buried in a huge treasure chest at the bottom of the lake!”
“Well, I don’t know about all that…” Greg said, looking up at the Red Eye once more. “But I have an idea about where one of them might be… Maybe…
“Throw me again!” Amethyst encouraged as she emerged from the forest once again. Despite the brazen grin on her face, her form was quite a bit battered after multiple attempts “I think I’m starting to crack it!”
Garnet was about to do just that before Pearl cut in. “I… don’t think this is working. All we’re doing is wasting what little time we have left. We’ll have to come up with a different plan.”
“There’s not much we can do without those cannons,” Garnet stated plainly.
“I hope Steven isn’t too disappointed when he finds out Greg doesn’t have them,” Pearl sighed. “But it makes no sense that Rose would leave them with him without telling us, or at least me. After all, she used to tell me everything… ”
“Yeah, yeah…” Amethyst said, rolling her eyes. “We know . You’ve bragged about how much Rose trusted you a billion times. We get it.”
Pearl started, flustered as her cheeks burned in a blue blush. “W-well, that’s because I was-”
“Hey!” The emerging argument was cut off, courtesy of Stan as he stormed up the hill to the Gems. Without much else to do, Soos and Wendy followed, eager to watch whatever drama was about to unfold. “What’s the big idea here? What’s with that huge red thing in the sky? Trouble follows you three around like a shadow, which means you probably know what it is, so spill it.”
“Ugh, Stan, we don’t have time for this!” Pearl said impatiently. “If you couldn’t already tell, we’re in the middle of trying to deal with it ourselves. But if you must know, it’s called a Red Eye and-”
“And if we don’t get rid of it, it’s gonna smash into the town and take us all out!” Amethyst added with a dramatic flair.
“Ha! Yeah right!” Stan let out a snort of a laugh. “What, do you think I was born yesterday?”
“Compared to the three of us, you are!” Amethyst joked with a rouge grin.
“Amethyst wasn’t joking,” Garnet said. “Either times.”
Silence fell over the entire group as the severity of the situation began to set in. Though Stan remained largely apathetic, Soos balked as he stared up at the Red Eye while Wendy was the first to speak to it. “Wait… are you saying that thing’s gonna destroy the whole town?”
“Not if we have anything to do about it,” Garnet asserted firmly.
“We just need to find a way to get rid of it first…” Pearl added in an anxious mutter.
“Wait, what?” Stan asked, baffled. “You mean you don’t even know how to deal with that thing? Aren’t you three supposed to ‘protect’ the town from weird magical mumbo-jumbo like that? Or did you just forget how to do your job now that Rose isn’t here to boss you around?”
“Don’t you dare talk about Rose like that!” Pearl snapped, infuriated. “If she were here, she’d-”
“Pearl,” Garnet cut in, placing a hand on her teammate’s shoulder to settle her down. “There’s no time for this right now.”
The air briefly became awkward again, especially as Pearl shot Stan an unforgiving glare, one that he was more than happy to return. Not liking the rising tension, Soos cleared his throat to ask another pressing question. “So, uh… do you dudes have any ideas about how to ger rid of the eyeball?”
“Well, Garnet tried throwing me at it a whole bunch of times, but it’s not doing much…” Amethyst admitted. “So… yeah. We’re basically screwed. Unless Steven, Dipper, and Mabel can somehow find those Light Cannons. But the chances of that happening are… pretty low.”
“Oh, great ,” Stan deadpanned, thoroughly annoyed. “As if it wasn’t bad enough those two snuck up here after I told them not to, now you’ve got them running around town looking for magical cannons?”
“First of all, they volunteered to look for the cannons themselves,” Pearl clarified pointedly. “Second of all, they’re not in any danger. They’re across town asking Greg if he has them. So you have no reason to be concerned, Stan.”
“Hmph, well at least if they’re off bothering Greg, they ain’t bothering me,” Stan crossed his arms. He made a point of glaring away from the Gems, making sure his years-old resentment was more than known. “And they ain’t getting dragged into another one of your disasters.”
While the kids had anticipated that one of the Light Cannons would be hidden away somewhere spectacular or mythical, the place Greg drove them to was… a far cry from that. Instead, he pulled his van up to the local storage facility just a few blocks away from the car wash. As mundane as it was, Steven still found room to be impressed by it.
“Wow!” he exclaimed, hopping out of the van. “A magical storage unit!”
“Ha, not exactly,” Greg laughed as he searched his pocket for the key. “But some would say there’s magic inside…” He flashed a mysterious grin at the kids, only to be met with three blank, confused stares. “It’s just a shed I use to keep things that don’t fit in the van. If those cannons are anywhere, they’ll be in here.”
Without further ado, Greg unlocked the bin and pulled the door open, revealing the unorganized mess beyond it. The unit was packed to the brim with boxes, bags, and other loose articles, but as far as the kids could see from the surface, there was no Light Cannon in sight.
“It’d be a miracle if the cannons even fit in there at all…” Dipper said, frowning.
“Well, what are we waiting for?” Mabel asked with a daring grin. “Let’s get looking!”
“Yeah!” Steven plunged into the unit first. He made use of a headlamp he found near the entrance to light the way as he and the twins crawled into the mountain of clutter, with Greg wishing them luck from outside.
“Wow!” Mabel exclaimed as they slowly worked through Greg’s vast, unorganized collection “Your dad has so much cool stuff in here, Steven!”
“I know, right?” Steven agreed. “It’s like a Dad museum in here!”
“If it was a museum, it’d be the messiest one ever,” Dipper muttered, narrowly avoiding a box of long-spoiled crackers. “Mr. Universe, have you ever thought about having a yard sale? You know, so you can get rid of some of this junk and have more space?”
“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to for a while now…” Greg admitted. “I guess I’m just a little hesitant about parting ways with some of this old stuff…”
“I can see why!” Steven said, grinning. He stopped short upon finding a smaller box, filled with plastic cases he’d seen before. “Hey, Dad! There’s a whole box of your old CD in here!”
“So you did have a record deal!” Mabel proclaimed “I knew it!”
“Oh, nah,” Greg said with a wave of his hand. “I burnt those CDs myself way back when. I couldn’t give those things away. You know, before I ran the car wash, when I was a one-man band, I traveled the whole country.”
“We know, Dad,” Steven said. “I already told Dipper and Mabel all about that.”
“When I came to play a concert here in Gravity Falls,” Greg continued his story nonetheless. “No one showed up except-”
“An ALLIGATOR!” Steven finished dramatically.
“Whoa, really?!” Mabel asked, not noticing Dipper rolling his eyes behind her.
“No, it was Steven’s mom, Rose,” Greg corrected with a small, fond smile.”After I settled down here, we were always together. Until she gave up her physical form to bring Steven into the world.”
“Wait, that’s what happened to your mom, Steven?” Dipper asked, bewildered.
“Yeah,” Steven nodded through a weak, wavering smile. “The Gems told me that Mom passed her gem down to me, which is why she isn’t around anymore. I don’t really understand it all that much, but she must have been really nice to be willing to do that for me.”
“She was more than just nice,” Greg said warmly, wistfully. “She was sweet, and selfless, and funny, and brave, and beautiful, and amazing . I don’t know what a magical lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me.”
“Aw…” Mabel crooned. “How romantic !”
As caught up as he was in listening to his father, Steven didn’t notice the framed photo sitting near the back of the storage unit until he heard the sound of cracking glass under his knee. “Uh… Dad?” A wave of guilt shot through him when he got a better look at the image inside of the now-ruined frame. “I broke a photo. The one of you and Mom…”
“ That’s your mom, Steven?” Dipper asked as he and Mabel leaned in to get a better look.
“She was beautiful…”
“Yeah…She was, wasn’t she?” Steven couldn’t help but smile at the photo. In it, his mother and father stood blissfully together, pure love practically shining between the two of them. Rose’s eyes were closed but her smile was abundant, her soft pink curls cascading over her shoulders. All the while, Greg grinned up at her–despite the hot dog sticking halfway out his mouth–with nothing less than the most sincere adoration.”Sorry for breaking it, Dad…”
“Don’t worry about it, buddy,” Greg reassured kindly. “If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs!”
Suddenly, a soft pink glow began to brim from the very back of the storage unit. It drew the kids’ attention away from the photo, towards its source: the large, shimmering weapon they’d come here to find.
“A Light Cannon!” Mabel gasped, grinning from ear to ear. “We found one!”
“But where’s the other one?” Dipper glanced around, only finding a single cannon as opposed to the set they were sent to find.
“I dunno,” Steven shrugged. “For now, we should find a way to get it out of here. Now let’s see…” It didn’t take long for him to find what he was looking for, a box filled with sturdy extension cords. With Dipper and Mabel’s help, he tied several of them to the cannon before they ventured outside, securing the other end of their makeshift tether to the bumper of Greg’s van. It took a bit of doing, but eventually the van managed to pull the cannon forward and out of the unit… along with everything else that had been so tightly packed inside of it.
“This thing could help save the town!” Steven practically hugged the smooth side of the cannon like it was the saving grace it very much was. “Dad, can you get it back to the temple?”
“I can try,” Greg shrugged. “What are you kids gonna do in the meantime?”
“We’re gonna find the other one!” Mabel boldly proclaimed. “...Somehow.”
“Well, if you kids found this one, then I’m sure you can find the second one,” Greg said, proudly ruffling Steven’s hair. “But uh… you might wanna hurry…” He frowned up at the Red Eye, still orbiting far too close to the town for comfort as it continued painting the skies a sickly shade of scarlet. “No pressure or anything, but… I’m not so sure how much time we’ve got left…”
“Don’t worry, Dad! There’s nobody out there who can find that second cannon better than we can!” Steven assured, waving his father off as he drove away with the first cannon in tow. With Greg still pulling it along via extension cords, the bottom of the weapon scraped harshly against the street. The kids could only hope that it wouldn’t be badly damaged on the way to the temple.
“So,” Steven turned back to the twins with a confident smile. “One cannon down, one to go. You guys got any ideas about where it could be?”
“Oh! Maybe it's in another one of these storage units,” Mabel ran over to the next unit over. “Let’s break in and see! I can finally put that lock-picking lesson Grunkle Stan gave me the other day to good use!”
“Or, how about instead of breaking and entering,” Dipper quickly cut in before his sister could do anything illegal. “We could use this to look for it instead?” He pulled the journal out of his vest, suddenly very glad he’d happened to bring it along with him for the day.
“You think the journal might have something about the Light Cannon written in it?” Steven asked, eyeing the journal with measurable uncertainty.
“Maybe,” Dipper shrugged. “After all, it did have info on those centipeetles. Who’s to say the author didn’t know about other Gem-related things too?”
“Well, yeah, but…” Steven trailed off, biting his lip. He wasn’t sure why, but he hoped that wasn’t the case. A mysterious journal detailing the various oddities of Gravity Falls or even a handful of Gem monsters was one thing, but anything beyond that, anything concerning the Gems themselves? For whatever reason, nothing about that sat right with him.
That unsettled feeling only grew as he quietly watched Dipper leaf through the journal. As would be expected, its pages covered a plethora of Gravity Falls’ stranger facets, from gnomes to ghosts to giant moth creatures, and everything in between. Having lived here his entire life, Steven was already familiar with a handful of its entries. Fortunately, it didn’t seem as though anything Gem-related beyond the occasional monster was among them. At least until Mabel pointed out a page that seemed strangely thicker than the rest.
“What’s that?” she asked, thumbing the small metallic bumps on the edges of the otherwise blank page.
“Wait a second…” Dipper took a closer look, quickly realizing there was more there than there seemed to be. “Are these pages… stapled?”
“Whoa! They totally are!” Mabel unbent one of the staples, freeing it from the journal. “Weird…”
“But who would have stapled these pages together?” Steven asked, watching worriedly as Dipper pulled out the rest of the staples. “What could be on them that would-” He sharply cut himself off, his question all but answered as soon as he caught a glimpse of what the previously hidden pages had to offer.
There, in bold, dark ink, was the title “The Crystal Gems” , above a detailed drawing of Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and even Rose Quartz herself. That was hardly the end of it though, as each page of this new section seemed to detail more and more about the Gems. Their temple, their abilities, their weapons, and so much more were all laid out in carefully-documented detail. And while Steven was shocked into anxious silence, Dipper was beside himself over such a groundbreaking discovery.
“This is incredible!” he exclaimed, rapidly flipping through the next several pages. He’d make sure to read through each of them properly later on, but for now, simply knowing they existed was more than enough. “I knew the journal had to have some info on the Gems, but I could have never imagined there’d be so much here! We could learn so much about them with this!”
“Yeah, but… why is all this stuff in the journal anyway?” Steven was unable to chase the frown from his face. As caught up in his own excitement as Dipper was, Mabel was the only one to really notice it.
“What if the guy who wrote the journal was friends with the Gems?” she suggested. “And so they let him write about them in his book because they’re so cool !”
“Oh my gosh!” Dipper gasped, captivated by the very thought. “If that’s true, then that means that the Gems would know who the author of the journal is! Finding out who wrote this thing could be as easy as just asking them!” He quickly caught himself before he could get too carried away however, as his smile shifted into a sudden bitter scoff. “Not that they’d tell us even if they did.”
“Uh… why wouldn’t they?” Steven asked. All the while, his gaze never left the journal or all of the information about his own guardians gathered within it.
“You saw how they acted when we asked about the temple earlier,” Dipper let out a frustrated sigh. “If they won’t talk about something as simple as where they live, then there’s no way they’d want to talk about something as big as this.”
“Oh! Maybe they will if we prove to them how amazing we are by finding both Light Cannons!” Mabel said, grinning. “Speaking of which, we should probably get back to that. It’s not like that Red Eye is getting any further away at this rate.”
“Right, ok,” Dipper nodded, focusing his attention back to the matter at hand. Steven did the same, though he still wore a worried look as they peered through the Gem-centric pages together. After several entries on Gem monsters, artifacts, and even abilities such as shapeshifting and fusion, an unmistakable sketch of a Light Cannon finally appeared. “Aha! Here it is!”
“What’s it say? What’s it say?” Mabel asked, pressing against her brother to get a closer look.
Dipper lightly pushed her back, allowing him a bit more space to work with as he began reading the entry aloud. “The dual Laser Light Cannons are among the Crystal Gems’ most powerful auxiliary weapons. They appear to be powered by an internal source of magic and, upon activation, they emit a conjoined beam of pure energy strong enough to tear through many physical materials, terrestrial or otherwise. It should be noted that the cannons can only function to their maximum capacity when they are paired together, as their power is halved when they are apart.”
“Blah, blah, blah,” Mabel groaned boredly. “We already know all this stuff. What about where it’s at?”
“Hold on a minute,” Dipper skimmed over the rest of the page before he found another pertinent passage . “Because of how potentially powerful the Light Cannons are together, Rose believes that it is safer to store them separately when not in use. It is for this reason that she recently entrusted me with the care of one of her cannons until the Gems have need of it.”
“Wow…” Steven stared at the journal, wide-eyed. Alongside drawings of the Light Canon, there was also another sketch of his mother, ever the mystery, one he longed to someday solve. “Whoever this author guy is, my mom must have trusted him a lot to let him take care of one of her cannons…”
“See? That means the Gems definitely knew him, right?” Mabel asked.
“That doesn’t matter right now,” Dipper quickly concluded. “What matters is this map the author drew in here. It should lead us straight to the second cannon, if we can figure it out.”
“Hm…” Steven squinted at the three recognizable symbols on the sparse map. “Oh! I think that star there is supposed to be the temple!”
“So maybe that triangle thingy is the Mystery Shack?” Mabel pointed out. “It’s close enough to the temple. Oh! If that’s what it is, then maybe Grunkle Stan knew the author too!”
“I highly doubt that,” Dipper rolled his eyes. “Still, the shack could have still been there back when this was written…. Which means this X here-”
“Marks the spot!” Steven and Mabel both cheerfully finished.
“It looks like it's somewhere out in the woods,” Dipper noted. “We’d better head that way and start looking.”
“Woo!” Mabel cheered, leading the way. “Light Cannon #2, we’re comin’ for you!”
Steven let out a laugh, albeit a half-hearted one as he trailed after the twins. His smile quickly fell away, however as he stole a glance at the temple, standing tall over the trees in the distance. There was plenty that the Gems didn’t tell him about, and for the most part, he was used to that, to learning more about his guardians as they deemed fit to tell him. But something like this, an entire book filled with untold knowledge about them, about his mother? He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off about it, that something was wrong .
And as that feeling continued to grow, the more Steven began to realize: the sooner the Gems knew about that journal and all of the secrets it contained, the better off they’d all be.
One would think that a threat as large and looming as the Red Eye would be more than enough to bring anyone together. But when it came to Stan and the Gems, it only served as yet another point of contention among so many others. Soos and Wendy stood on the sidelines, watching in a mix of worry and amusement as both sides bickered about possible solutions to the destructive problem the Red Eye posed. None of which really seemed to be helping the town’s plight much at all, really.
“Why don’t one of you just go up there with a baseball bat or something and knock the stupid thing back up into space?” Stan sarcastically proposed another idea. And just like all of the other ones he’d come up with, the Gems were quick to shoot it down.
“Oh, please,” Pearl rolled her eyes.“That would never work. None of our weapons would even put a dent in the Red Eye; a bat would shatter into pieces upon simply striking it."
“Not if you hit it hard enough,” Stan said, grinning knowingly.
“Hey, I’m all for hitting it with stuff,” Amethyst agreed. “Maybe we could throw a car or a house or something huge at it. That might work, right?”
“No,” Garnet said flatly.
“Can’t you dudes like, I dunno, throw some fireworks or a big super bomb at it?” Soos offered another idea. Even if he didn’t offer any ideas about where they could go about getting such explosives along with it.
“Or you could shoot it with a bunch of guns all at once,” Wendy suggested only half-seriously.
“Uh, well, Rose’s cannons are kinda like really big guns,” Amethyst scratched her chin. “But we dunno where they are.”
“Wrong,” Garnet nodded toward the base of the hill. “We know where one is.”
The others followed her gaze to Greg’s iconic van as it slowly drove up the dirt path to the temple. And sure enough, grinding across the ground behind it was none other than-
“A cannon!” Amethyst gasped.
“I can’t believe it,” Pearl balked, dumbfounded. “He actually had one of them!”
“We’re saved !” Amethyst cheered. Garnet, on the other hand, was nowhere as excited as her teammates.
“Not quite,” she said. Because sure enough, there was still a second Light Cannon out there somewhere. And the mystery of its location had still yet to be solved.
“ That’s it?” Stan raised an eyebrow as he watched Soos and Wendy head to help Greg untether the canon from the van. “That’s the ‘big, bad cannon’ that’s gonna take out that eyesore?” He let out a sharp, sardonic laugh. “What’s it gonna do? Pelt the thing with flowers?”
“ No ,” Pearl countered crossly. “It’s going to save the town along with–” She stopped short, peering around Greg’s van before she turned back to him, alarmed. “The other one! You didn’t have the other one too?!”
“Hey, my storage unit can only fit so much,” Greg frowned sheepishly as he averted the Gems’ questioning gazes. “B-but don’t worry! Steven and his friends are out looking for it right now. I’m sure they’ll be back with it any minute now.”
“Those goofballs?” Stan sneered. “Yeah right. You really think they’ll be able to track another one of these pink peashooters down?”
“Come on, Mr. Pines,” Wendy sent her boss a disapproving look. “Don’t sell Steven, Dipper, and Mabel so short.”
“Yeah!” Soos eagerly agreed. “They did find that giant lake monster the other day–even it was a robot. Still, it was pretty cool, when it wasn’t trying to kill us.”
“And they found the first cannon,” Amethyst pointed a thumb back at the weapon in question.
“Besides, it’s not like we have too many other options at the moment…” Pearl muttered diffidently.
“You know how determined Steven can be, Mr. Pines,” Greg said, grinning as he came to stand alongside his former boss. “And from the looks of it, your niece and nephew seem to be the same way.”
“Yeah, they are and it’s annoying ,” Stan deadpanned just shy of turning back to the Gems.“So what happens when they don’t find it then?”
“Then we’ll figure something else out,” Garnet said simply.
“Garnet’s right,” Pearl agreed. “We’re not about to let this town be destroyed under our watch. We’ll do what we have to in order to protect it.”
“Like what?” Soos asked curiously.
All three of the Gems stopped short when all eyes fell on them. Normally, they’d have any number of answers to such a question. But now, with such mounting odds stacked against them, without their beloved leader to guide them…
They had no idea what to do. Not that they’d let anyone else know that.
“Like… well…” Pearl tried, though fortunately, Garnet stepped in.
“Like combining our efforts together in order to bring it down,” she explained. The fact that her answer wasn’t much of an answer at all wasn’t really lost on any of the humans present.
“Yeah, well as great as that sounds,” Stan rolled his eyes. “It’d be better if those kids hurry up and find that cannon. I’m not too excited about the idea of being flattened into a pancake.”
“I think you mean Stan-cake!” Amethyst joked, but even her laughter was forced and fake.
“They’ll find it,” Garnet said with clear, firm confidence. Confidence all three of the Gems had no choice but to carry now, alongside the earnest, genuine hope that the kids would succeed. Despite how utterly impossible that success may have seemed. “We underestimated them before. We are not going to underestimate them again.”
The Red Eye was getting closer by the minute, painting the town and the woods surrounding it in an eerie, almost bloody glow. As unnerving as it was, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel were undaunted by it as they trudged through the woods, following the author’s map as closely as they could. While keeping a thumb tabbed on the Light Cannon entry, Dipper took the opportunity to curiously skim through the other Gem-related pages. As awash in excitement as he was over it all, he wasted no time sharing what he uncovered with Steven and Mabel.
“You guys, listen to this,” he began, paraphrasing portions of what he just read. “Apparently, the Gems don’t need to sleep or eat or drink–they don’t even age! It says here that they’re “essentially immortal, unless the gemstone itself is damaged. ”
“Whoa, just when I thought they couldn’t get any cooler, they do !” Mabel exclaimed, just as amazed as her brother. “If they don’t age, then who knows how old they are? My guess is 100. They look super good for 100.”
“Try way older,” Dipper corrected. “The journal says they’re several thousand years old, at least . Just think of all the history they’ve had a chance to see first-hand, all the people they might have met!”
“Yeah! Like the guy on the $10 bill!” Mabel blithely chimed in.
“Steven, please tell me they’ve told you at least a little about what they did during all that time,” Dipper pressed, eager to know more. He had a feeling the Gems wouldn’t say anything if he asked; what happened at the temple was proof enough of that. So for now, he’d have to go to the next best source.
“Uh… no?” Steven shrugged, frowning. He let out the breath he’d been holding as he finally decided to voice his mounting concerns aloud. “Um, hey, Dipper? Maybe… we shouldn’t be reading all that stuff about the Gems. At least not until we get a chance to actually show the journal to them.”
“What?” Dipper glanced back at him, caught off guard. “We finally have all this info about the Gems, info we know they won’t tell us themselves, and you just expect me not to look at it? You can’t be serious.”
“Look,” Steven looked away, rubbing his arm. “I know you’re really excited about this, and I’m happy that you are, but… this sort of feels like we’re going behind the Gems’ backs…”
“I mean, yeah, maybe,” Dipper said quickly, dismissively. “But aren’t you a Gem too, Steven? If that’s true, then why are you ok with them going behind your back? Why are they so secretive all the time? Why do they keep you out of the loop?” His grip on the edges of the journal tightened as he met Steven’s gaze, full of obvious anxiety and apprehension. Both things Dipper couldn’t figure out the source of in the slightest. “If you really are a Crystal Gem, then why don’t Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl treat you like one?”
“T-they do!” Steven quickly, adamantly protested. Even then, there was little real conviction behind his voice when he said it. “It’s just… they… I don’t-”
“Uh, you guys? Can we maybe talk about this later? ” Mabel suddenly spoke up. She’d gone a bit ahead of the boys, happening upon a tall wall of vines blocking much of the path ahead. “I think I found something!”
“Oh no!” Steven frowned up at the leafy obstacle before them. “It’s a dead end!”
“No, wait,” Dipper said, turning his attention back to the journal. “This is where we’re supposed to be. But…” He stepped up to the vines, pressing a hand against them only to find they were surprisingly thick and sturdy. Clearly, getting past them would take more than simply shoving them aside.
“Oh, Light Cannoooon!” Mabel called through the surrounding woods. “Where aaaaare you?!”
“Hm…” Steven stepped up to join Dipper at the vine wall. However, when he skimmed his hand against it, both boys were surprised when the greenery slowly began curling back. Within seconds, the wall was gone, revealing the entryway it had been hiding, straight into what looked like a narrow, vine-enclosed tunnel.
“How’d you do that?” Dipper asked, confused.
Steven simply shrugged. At the same time, he glanced down at the journal in Dipper’s arms. The question he’d asked earlier still hung heavy in Steven’s mind, a question he knew he had no clear answer to. But maybe… he could . Maybe, if he showed the Gems that he could handle their secrets, they’d be more willing to share them with him willingly. All it would take was to show them the journal, to let them in on a secret of his own. A secret that, by all accounts, they had a right to know.
And then, maybe once he did, they’d finally start to see him as the true member of the team he spent his life longing to be a part of.
“Dipper?” he put on the most convincing smile he could muster. “Mind if I take a quick peek at the journal? Maybe I could find a clue about the cannon that you might have missed.”
“I really don’t think I missed anything,” Dipper looked over the Light Cannon entry again, frowning. “But… I guess there’s no harm in getting a fresh set of eyes on it.”
The way Dipper held the journal out to him so easily, with a soft, trusting smile on his face was nearly enough to change Steven’s mind altogether. But for as loudly as his heart was screaming at him to stop, his desire to be seen as a genuine Crystal Gem proved to be just a little louder.
“Thanks…” he took the journal with trembling hands, snapping it shut before hugging it close to his chest. “And… I’m sorry.”
And then, without another word, Steven ran off into the tunnel of vines with the journal in tow.
It took Dipper a moment to fully realize what had happened. And even once he had, neither he nor Mabel could truly believe it. “Steven?!” he wasted no time plunging into the tunnel himself. Mabel followed, and very quickly, the twins realized the vines didn’t just form a single narrow passageway; it was a maze , made up of more twists and turns than they ever could have anticipated. And there was no telling which one of those turns Steven had taken.
“Steven!” Dipper shouted for him again. “What are you doing?!”
“We have to show this journal to the Gems!” Steven’s voice rang out from somewhere in the maze. “It has so much stuff about them in it; they need to know!”
“W-well, ok! We were gonna show it to them anyway!” Mabel tried reasoning. “Right, Dipper?”
Dipper didn’t answer, at least not really. Instead, his pace slowed as he kept his focus straight ahead, taking in a deep breath as he struggled to force himself to lie. Not that he even needed to; his silence alone spoke volumes to Steven.
“You weren’t even gonna tell them?!” he asked hotly. He hugged the journal even tighter as he glared down at it, as if it were the source of all their troubles. And in many ways, it was .
“ How am I supposed to, Steven?!?” Dipper shouted back, frustrated. “They’ve already made it more than clear they don’t want to tell us anything . So why should we tell them anything about the journal? For all we know, they could take it away and hide it in that temple of theirs and then I’ll never see it again!”
“But we have to tell them! It’s the right thing to do!” Steven shot back as he plowed through the maze, distraught and directionless.
“Just because it may be right doesn’t mean it's fair!” Dipper argued. He finally caught a glimpse of Steven somewhere between walls of vines; as sure a sign as any that they were gaining on him. “How can you just take the Gems’ word for everything when you know they’re hiding so much from you?”
“Because I trust them!”
“Oh, like how I trusted you?! ”
Steven stopped dead in his tracks when he heard that. It didn’t take Dipper and Mabel long to catch up with him as their paths conjoined in an uncovered clearing. From here, the Red Eye could be clearly seen as it began drifting dangerously low. But for the two boys under its watchful gaze, it couldn’t have mattered less.
“That’s what you asked me, right? The day we all met?” Dipper asked as he stared Steven down. That day had only been a week ago, a week that somehow managed to feel like a lifetime. “I trusted you then. But now? Now I’m not so sure I should anymore.”
Thick silence settled over the maze, filled in only by the sound of the slowly, strangely rising winds. Steven swallowed hard, tears just behind his eyes as he held onto the journal like a vice. Even after all of this, he was still unwilling to give it up. Dipper would have hated him for it… if not for just how guilty, how remorseful, how genuinely sad he seemed to be.
“You guys…” Mabel was the one to finally break the silence. Whatever she planned on saying was quickly forgotten, however, as soon as she happened to steal a glance to her right. “Oh my gosh!” she gasped, grabbing her brother’s arm. “Look!”
“The cannon!” both boys exclaimed in equal surprise.
Sure enough, at the very end of the maze, surrounded by pink blooming shrubs, was the second Laser Light Cannon. It shimmered a faint, yet warm shade of pink against the haunting crimson light cast by the Red Eye. If they ever hoped to destroy that eye before it destroyed them, then they had no time to waste. They had to unite the Light Cannon with its twin before it was too late.
“How are we supposed to get it back to the temple?” Dipper asked. The answer to that question came almost immediately, and just about in the last way any of them could have expected.
A large, dark shape suddenly leapt high over their heads, briefly blocking the Red Eye from view. Four pink paws landed squarely just beyond the trio, and, given the circumstances, Steven had never been happier to see his finicky feline friend than he was right now.
“Lion!” he cheered, relieved. “What are you doing here, bud?”
“He’s here to help us save the day, duh!” Mabel grinned as she playfully scratched Lion under the chin. “Who’s a good, pretty pink boy? You are! You are!”
“I guess he’s better than nothing…” Dipper said, returning the sullen glare Lion was sending his way in full.
“Come on, grab some vines!” Steven called as he began ripping vines free from the walls around them. “We can tie them to the cannon and then Lion can tow it back to the temple!”
“Wait,” Dipper stopped short, noticing the book still tucked securely under Steven’s arm. “I think we need to talk about the journal before we go anywhere.”
“Oh, not this again,” Mabel groaned, face palming.
“Can’t we do this later, Dipper?” Steven asked as he spared a wary glance up at the Red Eye. “We really don’t have time for this right now!”
“Well, you forced us to make time for it when you stole in the first place!” Dipper snapped. He made no effort to hide just how upset, how angry he really was. Steven forced himself to avoid his gaze just so he wouldn’t have to feel the full force of it.
“I didn’t want to steal it from you,” Steven said softly. “I just wanted to be honest with the Gems-”
“But they aren’t honest with you!” Dipper argued, standing by the same point he’d had all this time. A point that, for whatever reason, Steven refused to even acknowledge. “When I first showed the journal to you, I asked you to keep it a secret, and I trusted that you would. But I guess… I guess that doesn’t matter to you as much as giving it all away to the Gems, huh?”
“That’s not… I-I…” Steven trailed off, unsure of what to say. The guilt already churning in his stomach finally turned into a full-on tidal wave when he finally met the practically pleading look Dipper was sending his way. His hands nearly moved to return the journal to him, to finally put an end to this downright petty disagreement once and for all.
But in the end, Mabel was the one who did that for them both.
“Ugh! That’s it! I’ve had it with you two!” she stormed to stand in between the boys. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re about to be smooshed by a giant eyeball, and you guys are standing here arguing over nothing !”
“It’s not ‘nothing’, it’s the-”
“I don’t care!” Mabel shoved a finger against her brother’s mouth to silence him. “What I do care about is getting that cannon back to the Gems. So I’m giving you guys till the count of five to sort this mess out and hug it out, or else I’m gonna make you .”
If the genuinely furious tone of Mabel’s usually cheery voice wasn’t enough to convince the boys to comply, the slow, yet severe start of her countdown was. “Five,” she crossed her arms, shooting a warning glare at them both. Under the weight of that glare, the weight of the eye hanging only a few hundred feet above their heads now, the weight of everything else along with it, Steven was the first to finally cave.
“Here,” he sighed, finally handing the journal back to Dipper. “Take it. You were the one who found it in the first place; it’s not up to me who you share it with and when.”
“Four.”
Dipper was silent for a moment as he took the book, looking between it and Steven remorsefully. Even if he hadn’t agreed with his methods, he understood why he’d taken the journal and ran. If their roles had been reversed, he wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t have done the same thing to gain the Gems’ respect. “I will tell the Gems about it,” he said, anxiously yet earnestly. “W-when I’m ready to. I just… need more time to think through how to go about it.”
“Three.”
“I understand,” Steven said, finally managing a small smile. “And when you are ready, I’ll be there to help you do it.”
“Thanks, Steven,” Dipper returned his smile as he tucked the journal away.
“Two–I still don’t see any hugging here,” Mabel said, tapping her foot impatiently.
To Steven’s surprise, Dipper was the one who stepped forward to start the hug. He returned it with a warm laugh, more than relieved to feel the tension between them finally starting to lift. But even with one problem solved, another, much more deadly one still awaited in the skies above.
“One! Finally !” Mabel ran forward, happily joining in on the hug. It swiftly disbanded, however, when the ground beneath them suddenly began to rumble, the already steady winds picking up into a forceful, violent gale. “Oh, and not a moment too soon either. We gotta get going!”
Steven and Dipper didn’t argue; the trio hurried to rip more vines from the walls, tying them together into a sturdy tether that they wrapped around the base of the cannon. From there, Steven secured the other end of the vines around Lion’s stomach just shy of all three of the kids climbing onto his back. Only for them to quickly realize they’d have to waste what little time they had left making their way back through the maze.
Or they would have, if Lion didn’t clear out a shortcut for them.
Without warning, he let out an ear-splitting roar. The sound of it alone sent out shockwaves that tore through the back of the maze, ripping the viney wall apart to reveal the forest beyond it. As soon as the path was clear, Lion darted forward, towing the cannon after him as he ran through the woods. The kids couldn’t even bother questioning his peculiar powers as they hung on for dear life against the raging winds and the scarlet light bleeding over almost every inch of the town.
A light that was set to consume it completely if they didn’t make it back in time.
Lion was usually a very fast runner, able to cover vast distances in mere minutes with his swift gait. But with the weight of not only three kids but a heavy Light Cannon weighing him down, his stamina quickly started to wear down the closer the group got to the temple. Something that was quickly starting to become a problem as the Red Eye began to press in for its final, frightening approach.
“Come on, Lion!” Steven urged, patting his pet’s side. “You can do it! We’re almost there!”
“Yeah! Look!” Mabel pointed as they broke through another layer of trees. “There’s the temple!”
“And the other cannon!” Dipper added, relieved. “Looks like Mr. Universe beat us here.”
“Well, we would have made it back sooner if someone hadn’t been fighting over a certain journal,” Mabel pointed out with a critical frown.
“Alright, Mabel, we get it,” Dipper deadpanned as Steven let out a flustered chuckle.
By now, Lion had made it to the base of the temple hill, where he finally collapsed out of sheer exhaustion, unable to take another step. Fortunately, with the Gems so close by, he wouldn’t have to. “Hey!” Mabel shouted up to the group gathered near the house. “A little help down here?!”
Gems and humans alike pulled their anxious sights away from the sky to find the kids struggling to push the cannon up the hill. As shocking of a sight as it was, the Gems led the group in rushing down to meet them.
“Incredible!” Pearl looked over the cannon, confirming it was the genuine article. “You actually found them both!”
“We knew you guys could do it!” Amethyst cheered.
“Yeah! Nice goin’, dudes!” Soos added as Wendy sent the group a proud thumbs up.
“Huh,” Stan noted largely to himself as he stood a few steps back from the others. “What do ya know? Those knuckleheads actually came through after all…”
“Where in the world did you kids find it?” Greg asked, amazed.
“It’s a… long story,” Dipper said tiredly.
“There’s no time to waste,” Garnet stepped up to the cannon. “We have to use the cannons now.” Upon summoning her gauntlets, she used them to get a good grip on the cannon before hoisting it up into the air. Despite her formidable strength, she still struggled under the weapon’s weight, which was why the others all stepped in to help her as best they could. Together, the group of Gems and humans carried the cannon up the hill, gently setting it down next to its twin. They both faced the Red Eye, the only two weapons capable of destroying it, and yet…
“So, uh…” Wendy cleared her throat as the cannons remained still and stationary. “Are they gonna blow that thing up, or…?”
“What should we do?” Dipper asked the Gems. “Is there like a button or a switch or something on them?”
The Gems exclaimed an anxious glance before Pearl admitted the frightening truth. “We don’t know how they work! They were Rose’s!”
“Dad, do you know how to use them?” Steven asked his father. After all, if Rose had entrusted one of them to him, certainly he’d know at least a little about it, right? Greg, however, could only offer his son a hopeless shrug in return.
“Steven, this is serious!” Pearl snapped. She started, however, when she noticed Steven’s shirt blowing a bit from the intense winds the Red Eye was stirring up. And under that shirt was none other than– “The Gem…” she gasped, eyes wide. “You have Rose’s gem!”
“That’s it!” Amethyst grabbed Steven, roughly shoving him against one of the cannons. Despite her best efforts, the cannon didn’t react to Steven or his gem, much to Amethyst’s mounting frustration. “Aw, come on!”
“Stop that,” Garnet ordered, taking Steven and setting him back onto the ground.
“So if Steven can’t activate them, what are we supposed to do?” Mabel asked, worried.
“Let’s just forget about the cannons!” Amethyst shouted. “Throw me again!”
“That’s not going to work,” Pearl scoffed.
“Maybe we should just beat the stupid things until they start working,” Stan huffed. His impatience only narrowly masked the dread rising in his gut each time he so much as glanced up at the Red Eye. Dread that nearly drove him to grab Dipper and Mabel and run for cover, leaving the Gems to fend for themselves. And yet, against his better judgment, he didn’t .
“Yo, dudes, maybe they're broken,” Soos suggested as gently as he could. “I could see if I could fix them really quick. Though I’m not sure where to put the nails or screws…”
“They’re not broken!” Pearl cried as she desperately gripped one of the cannons. “We just need to… Oh, I don’t know!” she admitted again, almost on the verge of tears. “If only Rose were here! She would know exactly what to do!”
As noisy fear rippled over the entire group, the kids spared a glance up at the sky, all three of them realizing just how dire their circumstances really were. The Red Eye nearly encompassed the entire sky above the forest, staring down at everyone and everything below it with some unknown, unstoppable intent. The closer it got to the ground, the more it began to develop a gravitational pull, dragging leaves and loose debris toward it. Even the cannons themselves weren’t immune, to the point that the Gems had to throw themselves onto the weapons just to keep them anchored to the ground.
“What do we do?! What do we do?!” Mabel grabbed the sides of her hair, utterly terrified.
Dipper wasn’t able to supply her with much of an answer outside of an equally anxious glance. He did peer down at his vest, pulling it back a bit to reveal the journal still hidden inside. In their search for the second cannon, he’d poured over anything even remotely mentioning the weapons. Yet nothing so much as hinted on how to actually activate them. What may have just been a minor oversight on the author’s part in the past could prove to be deadly to them all in the present, and yet…
“Please!” Steven resorted to pleading to the cannons directly as he stepped into the space between them. “You guys have to work, unlock, activate, go, something ! Everyone’s counting on you! My friends and I worked so hard to find you both in time! You can’t just be useless! I know you can help!”
Despite his emerging tears, the cannons still did nothing. Steven nearly choked on a sob as he felt his father’s hand come to rest securely on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s ok, kiddo,” Greg assured with a soft, sincere smile. “We’ll figure something else out. Something better.”
Steven sniffled, wiping a few of his tears dry. “Y-yeah,” he forced himself to share his father’s smile, his father’s hope . “If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.”
He was just about ready to move on, to begin looking for a different way to save the town. But then, without warning, both Light Cannons began to glow .
“Oh my gosh!” Mabel noticed it as soon as Steven did, and she wasted no time telling the others. “Look, you guys! The cannons are working now!”
Sure enough, both cannons were brimming a bright, vibrant pink light. As their muzzles began to open, their tips bloomed with a powerful kind of energy, a sure sign they were quickly charging for a decisive shot. And yet, without any support, the cannons fell forward, set to aim at the forest ahead instead of the Red Eye above. If they only had one shot at this, they certainly couldn’t let it go to waste like that.
Steven tried to lift one of them back up, only to quickly realize his strength wouldn’t be anywhere near enough. To his surprise, however, he soon found he wasn’t alone. Dipper joined him first, sharing the load of the same cannon as he offered him a small, supportive smile. A far cry from the panicked fury he’d had for him back in the woods.
More hands soon joined the effort, with Mabel, the Gems, Soos, Wendy, Greg, and even Stan piling in to help. They split up between the two cannons, pushing them straight up at the Red Eye as the ground beneath them rattled violently. There were only mere minutes left to spare, perhaps even seconds now. But even still, they all clung onto the Light Cannons, each of them silently hoping and praying they’d somehow be enough to save them.
“Ok, these things can fire any second now!” Stan shouted above the chaotic din.
“Wait! I think this is it!” Pearl called. Sure enough, the cannons began to shake as the light surrounding them both became practically blinding.
“Brace yourselves!” Garnet ordered. Her voice was almost entirely drowned out, however, as the cannons finally unleashed their incredible power in full.
They fired in perfect harmony, two beams of pale pink light dancing up toward the sky together. As they approached the Red Eye, they conjoined, briefly taking the shape of the very Gem the cannons once belonged to. Her visage spiraled toward the Red Eye until, in a flash of pure, radiant glow, it struck its target straight in its pupil. For a moment, the Red Eye’s crimson light was drowned out by the heavy white cracks overtaking its surface. And then, all at once, it exploded in a shower of light.
As that light faded, the world slowly began to regain its natural coloration as the night sky above came into view. The rushing winds stilled as gravity returned to normal, allowing peaceful silence to settle in, only interrupted first by the sounds of the Red Eye’s debris crashing down into the distant forest. And then, by the group who had stood in awe and watched the orb’s dazzling destruction.
“I can’t believe it…” Dipper muttered, still staring up at the sky. “It actually… worked… ”
“Now that was sick,” Wendy added, just as amazed.
“WOO WHOO!!!” Mabel cheered triumphantly. “We did it! We saved the town!”
“But… I don’t understand…” Pearl said. “How did you get them to work?”
“I just said that thing Dad always says,” Steven shrugged, smiling.
“That thing about the pork rinds?”
“Pork chops ,” Garnet corrected.
Despite the celebration surrounding him, Greg kept his sights on the spot where the cannons had fired, his eyes wet with tears. “Rose…” he whispered longingly, lovingly. Because even though she was gone, in some small way, through her son or through something else entirely, so many shades of her were still here all the same.
“Well, I gotta hand it to you runts,” Stan placed a hand on Dipper and Mabel’s shoulders, smirking down at them both. “You really came through by finding those girly cannons. I didn’t think you could do it, but… I guess you proved your ol’ grunkle wrong. Good job.”
“Aw, Grunkle Stan, are you going soft on us?” Mabel asked, playfully hugging his leg.
“No,” Stan turned his nose up as he tried shaking her away. “Get off of me, will ya, ya little gremlin?” He nearly succeeded in driving her off, until someone else happened to land squarely on his back, nearly knocking him over altogether. “Augh! Amethyst!” he yelled over her mischievous laughter. “Cut it out!”
Dipper couldn’t help but laugh himself as he watched Stan struggle to free himself from both of their forceful hugs. His attention was soon pulled away, however, when Steven stepped up and tapped his shoulder. “Um, Dipper?” he began quietly, apologetically. “I just… I wanted to say I’m sorry about what happened in the woods. I really shouldn’t have taken the journal like that. I was so worried about upsetting the Gems; I didn’t even think about how I might upset you .”
“It’s ok, Steven, really,” Dipper assured, smiling. “I get why you did it. You really look up to the Gems. And though they aren’t perfect, I can see why you do. They’re so different from anyone I’ve ever met before; they can use magic, they fight monsters, they’re apparently immortal . Can you really blame me for wanting to know just a little more about them?”
“No, ‘cause I do too!” Steven said with a small, genuine chuckle. “That’s all I’ve wanted most of my life! But until they’re ready to open up to us themselves, well… I guess the journal’s as good a way as any to start learning.”
“It sure is,” Dipper soundly agreed. He extended a hand out to Steven to show there were no lasting hard feelings. “Friends?”
Steven couldn’t help himself. This time, he leapt forward, throwing his arms around Dipper as he wrapped him in a tight, happy hug. “ Best friends!”
“Yay!” Mabel, now free from Stan’s leg, rushed over. Both boys were more than happy to welcome her into their fond embrace. “More hugs!”
The Gems were the first to share a warm laugh over such a sweet display, and everyone else soon followed. Even Stan managed a smile, one that didn’t go away as he and the Gems silently acknowledged each other. Despite the differences they had with each other, right now they shared the same sort of relief that they were still standing here, still alive.
And, they shared the same pride and gratitude toward the kids who had, against all the odds, somehow saved them all.
“RED EYE OFFLINE. SCAN FAILED.”
“What? Impossible. I had my top technicians calibrate that Red Eye. How are we supposed to check the status of the Cluster now?”
“You know, maybe I could help with that!”
“Oh joy … It’s you again… What could you possibly want this time, Cipher?”
“Aw, what? I can’t just pop in to say ‘hello’ to my good pal Yellow?”
“If that’s all you’re here for then please, be on your way. I have no time to indulge your ridiculous games.”
“What’s the matter, Yellow? Miffed that that eye of yours was blown to bits? You know, as big of a fan as I am of giant, standalone eyeballs, that thing wasn’t very idiot-proof, even for you.”
“Don’t you dare mock me, Cipher! I’ll have you know that Red Eye was the newest model, one of the finest pieces of our surveillance technology!”
“Geez, no need to get a crack in your gem there! Still, if that eye was so ‘advanced’, you gotta wonder how a bunch of plain ol’ fleshbags managed to take it out.”
“What are you… Wait… You mean humans destroyed it? That’s… No. Those primitive creatures could never have-”
“Hey, I’m pretty surprised myself, Yellow. I guess those dumb Earthlings are a bit more plucky than ya thought, huh?”
“It hardly matters. The Cluster will wipe the entirety of that pathetic species from existence soon enough. Still, I need to see how it's developing… I suppose I’ll have to send a Peridot there to reestablish the warp stream and evaluate the Kindergarten directly. Always something…”
“Aw, don’t be so blue, Yellow! Tell ya what, I’ll keep an eye on the place for ya too. If I find anything interesting , then you’ll be the first to know!”
“I’d better be… And as for the Earth-”
“Don’t worry about it! I’ve got big plans, you’ve got big plans, and once we put both our plans together, well, let’s just say that pesky mudball’s days in the sun are about to come to an end .”
“At last… After what happened to her , it’s the only fate that wretched planet deserves…”
Notes:
Next time, the Pines and the Gems contend with a charming new foe.
Chapter 7: Lil' Gideon
Summary:
Mabel, Dipper, and Steven contend with Gravity Falls' beloved phsycic, Lil' Gideon, who may not be as "charming" as he seems...
Notes:
Another chapter for ya'll! I will admit this one is somewhat similar to the old UF version of it, but there are some fun changes in it that I do like. So with that out of the way, I won't keep you here for too long. Let's meet Gideon, aka the most puntable child in Gravity Falls. Let's get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
G DRA TBX DHKSAIM ZMZY HM ZVCHMPW
E ZVZBOI SIOT FEB OKKRQS N RWW
Steven hummed to himself as he tuned his ukulele. It didn’t take him long to get it just right, and once he did, he launched into strumming a cheery tune off the top of his head. On the floor beside him, Dipper and Mabel tuned out the dull round of commercials playing on TV in favor of listening to the much more pleasant melody filling the shack’s den. It was a relaxing way to spend the afternoon, especially after their hectic search for the Light Cannons the previous day. As soon as Steven brought his song to an end, Mabel was the first to launch into bright applause over such an impressive performance.
“Wow, Steven! That was great! Where’d you learn how to play so good anyway?”
“Well, my dad taught me the basics when I was little,” Steven explained as he continued plucking notes. “But I taught myself a lot of the songs I know. It’s really not that hard once you get the hang of it.”
“It’s not, huh…?” Mabel mused as an idea struck her. “You know, I’ve always wanted to learn how to play something. Maybe you could teach me how to play the ukulele, Steven!”
Steven gasped, more than ready to accept, before Dipper spoke up in his stead. “Wait, Mabel, you mean you’re actually going to commit to learning how to play an instrument?” he asked, smirking. “Like you did when you tried to learn to play the violin? Or the oboe? Or the xylophone?”
“Oh, ha ha , Dipper,” Mabel chucked one of the balls of yarn she was knitting with at him. “We can’t all instantly ‘master’ the sousaphone, like some people…”
“Mabel!” Dipper protested, embarrassed.
“Wait! Wait! Wait!” Steven cut in. “First of all, of course I’ll teach you, Mabel! But only if you show me how to knit. I’d love to be able to make a sweater as good as you can!”
“Deal!”
“Second of all, Dipper, you can play the sousaphone?”
“Uh… kinda,” Dipper winced. “I only know how to play it because our mom forced me to.”
“Yeah, and he’s super good at it!” Mabel added, as much as Dipper wished she wouldn’t. “I bet you guys could play an awesome ukulele-sousaphone duet!”
“Yeah!” Steven smiled, stars in his eyes.
Dipper, however, was much less on board as he glanced away, flusteredly clearing his throat. “I don’t know if that’s-” He stopped short when a mysterious chime sounded from the TV, catching everyone’s attention.
Another commercial had come on, though this one already seemed to be far more interesting than the rest as an announcer posed the question: “Are you completely miserable?”
“Yes!” the actor on screen wailed dramatically.
“Then you need to meet… Gideon.”
“Gideon?” Dipper asked, raising an eyebrow.
“What makes him so special?” Mabel asked, intrigued.
“Oh, I know Gideon,” Steven said. “He’s-”
“He’s a psychic!” the commercial explained just before he could. “Don’t waste your time with other so-called ‘men of mystery’.” Said “man of mystery” was none other than Stan, as an unflattering image of him popped up on screen, with the word FRAUD stamped onto it. “Hurry on down to Gideon’s Tent of Telepathy tonight for an evening of magic and delight for all!”
“Oo! I’m getting all curious inside!” Mabel leaned in as the commercial continued. “This Gideon guy sounds pretty mysterious!”
“Steven, you said you know him?” Dipper asked. “Is he actually the real deal?”
“Er… Well, I’ve been to a few of his shows, and he sure seems like he’s a real psychic…” Steven rubbed the back of his neck. “The Gems don’t think so though, but then again, they don’t think most of the stuff here at the Mystery Shack is real either.”
“That’s because nothing here is real,” Dipper noted dryly.
“Eh, maybe,” Steven shrugged. “Still, I think the shack is a lot more fun than the Tent of Telepathy anyway.”
“That’s ‘cause the Tent of Telepathy is just a two-bit sham!” Stan entered the den. He’d overheard at least a little, and based on the sour look on his face alone, he was far from pleased with any of it. “Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I’ve had nothin’ but trouble! He’s a no-account punk, and that’s that.”
“So… is he a real psychic or not?” Mabel asked regardless.
“I say we go and find out,” Dipper suggested. While Mabel and Steven were both on board with this plan, Stan was quick to harshly shut it down.
“Never!” he snapped. “You’re forbidden from patronizing the competition! In fact, I’d rather you two be up at the Gems’ temple than anywhere near that Gideon freak.”
“So you’re ok with us hanging out at Steven’s place whenever we want?” Mabel asked with a leading smile. “Gee, thanks, Grunkle Stan!”
“What? No! That’s not what I–gah!” Stan huffed, annoyed. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you don’t need to go anywhere near Gideon’s to know that he’s a fake! He’s about as much of a psychic as I am a flamenco dancer.”
“Mr. Pines, you’re a flamenco dancer?” Steven asked, awestruck. “Wow! I’m learning so much about you guys today!”
Stan rolled his eyes, not even dignifying Steven with a response as he continued.. “Long story short, you two knuckle-heads better stay away from Gideon,” he issued the twins a stern warning. “No one that lives under my roof is allowed under his roof!”
With that, Stan turned on his heel and stormed out. Despite how forceful and final his orders had been, the kids’ shared curiosity still persisted all the same.
“Do tents even have roofs?” Dipper asked as soon as Stan was out of earshot.
“Not that I know of,” Steven said with a growing smile.
“Well, boys, I think we just found a loophole!” Mabel proclaimed, holding up a string she’d tied a loop into. “Literally!”
The trio laughed as they got up to head out and see the tantalizing Tent of Telepathy for themselves. As the commercial on TV came to a close, it beckoned them, and anyone else watching to do the same. To put Gravity Falls’ famous resident psychic's talents to the test:
“So come on down, folks! Gideon’s expecting you…”
It hadn’t taken much for Dipper and Mabel to convince Soos to come with them to the Tent of Telepathy, and likewise, Steven had managed to talk Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl into showing up too. Largely, because he hadn’t bothered telling them where they were even going until they arrived at the surprisingly crowded tent on the far side of town.
“Ugh, this place?” Amethyst groaned loudly as soon as she spotted the tent’s sign. “You’ve gotta be kidding, Steven. You know that Gideon kid is a fake! Why don’t we bail and hang out back at the shack instead? At least the stuff Stan has there is weird in a funny way and not in a lame way like… all this.”
Her point was all but proven when Soos called out to the group from his spot near one of the funhouse mirrors perched near the tent’s entrance. “Yo dudes! Check this out!” he waved at his warped reflection, utterly fascinated by it. “It’s like I’m saying hi to a version of me from another dimension where I’m like… super tall.”
A beat of unimpressed silence passed between the kids and the Gems before Pearl spoke up to end it. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree with Amethyst. There really isn’t anything of genuine worth here… Though I can’t in good conscience say the Mystery Shack is much better…”
“Aw, come on, you guys!” Steven urged the Gems to follow him inside. He threw on his best pleading pout for good measure; if there was anything that had a chance at changing their minds, it’d be that. “This place isn’t that bad. At least stick around for a while… for me? Please?”
The Gems shared a disgruntled sigh, unable to resist. As they begrudgingly took their seats alongside Steven, the twins, and Soos, they were far from the only ones to turn out for the highly-anticipated show. “Man, it’s amazing how many people showed up for this,” Dipper noted, glancing around at the packed tent. “Are Gideon’s shows usually this popular?”
“Yes,” Garnet replied, crossing her arms. “Somehow.”
“Shh!” Mabel quieted them as spotlights began flooding the stage. “It’s starting!”
“Let’s see what this ‘monster’ looks like,” Dipper muttered mostly to himself. The accusations Stan had levied against Gideon were brutal, but certainly, he couldn’t actually live up to them. Could he?
The crowd seemed to hold its collective breath as an imposing silhouette appeared behind the curtain. But when that curtain was pulled back, the figure standing behind it was… smaller. Much smaller, in fact.
For all the things Dipper and Mabel had been expecting, what they hadn’t anticipated was that Gideon would be just a child–a child younger than either of them at that. Most of his miniscule height was made up of his perfectly shaped white pompadour, which complimented his powder-blue suit and matching cape. He opened his performance up by flashing the crowd a winning smile, which they readily ate up in a round of adoring cheers.
“Hello, America!” Gideon greeted with a heavy southern drawl. “My name is Lil’ Gideon!” With a simple clap of his hands, a flock of doves suddenly flew out from their hiding place somewhere within his large hair.
While most of the audience was even more taken with such a trick, the Gems didn’t share their excitement in the slightest. “Oh please,” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “Any chump can get a bunch of birds to fly out of their hair. In fact…”
“No, Amethyst,” Pearl shot her emerging idea down before she could even say it aloud.
“ That’s Stan’s mortal enemy?” Dipper asked, baffled as Gideon continued adorably parading around the stage.
“But he’s so wittle!” Mabel protested, grinning.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you all here tonight!” Gideon proclaimed to the crowd. “Such a gift! I have a vision ; I predict that you all will soon say, “aww”.” With this, Gideon struck a cute pose, one that was more than enough to elicit a round of “awws” from the charmed audience before him.
“It came true!” Mabel gasped.
“I know!” Steven added excitedly. “Amazing, isn’t it?”
“What?” Dipper turned to the pair, scoffing. “I’m not impressed.”
“Oh, come on!” Mabel teased. “You’re totally impressed!”
“Hit it, Dad!” Gideon called to his father down at the piano. He began playing a jaunty, upbeat tune, one that Gideon broke into a cheery jig along to. The crowd’s growing delight only skyrocketed when he added a song into the mix. “Oh I can see what others can’t see! It ain’t some sideshow trick, its innate ability! Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined. And you too could see, if you were widdle ol’ me! Come on, everybody, rise up! I want ya’ll to keep it going!”
As Gideon raised his hand, the crowd did the same. Every last member of the audience stood, including Steven, the twins, Soos, and even the Gems. While Steven, Mabel, and Soos joined the crowd in clapping along to Gideon’s song, Dipper and the Gems were far more alarmed than enthralled.
“Wha–? How did he-” Dipper started, surprised that he’d stood when he hadn’t wanted to.
“What just happened?” Pearl whispered to Garnet and Amethyst. The pair could only shrug, though they were even more caught off guard when Gideon tossed a handful of “magic” down to the audience below. Most of it landed squarely on Steven and the Gems, as if he’d intentionally aimed at them, though they quickly discovered it wasn’t as “magical” as he claimed it to be.
“Is this uncooked rice?” Amethyst frowned, pulling a handful out of her hair. She answered her own question when she shoved what she’d gathered into her mouth. “Huh. Yeah, it is. Crunchy.”
“Ugh… When can we leave?” Pearl asked Garnet as she plucked rice out of her own hair.
Garnet didn’t answer right away, instead meeting the pleading look Steven was sending her way. “...Soon,” she said simply. For Amethyst and Pearl, that “soon” couldn’t come quickly enough.
By now, Gideon had wandered down into the crowd itself, singing straight to his excited audience as he showed off his “clairvoyance”. “You wish your son would call you more!” he pointed to an elderly woman.
“I’m leaving everything to my cats!” the woman exclaimed as a cat napped soundly in her lap.
“I sense that you’ve been here before,” Gideon predicted as he looked over to Sheriff Blubbs, who was decked out in Lil’ Gideon official merchandise.
“Oh, what gave it away!”
“I’ll read your mind if I’m able,” Gideon popped in beside Mabel, sending her a playful wink. “Something tells me your name’s Mabel!”
“How did he know?!” Mabel exclaimed, bewildered.
“Uh, maybe it had something to do with the fact that your name is on your sweater,” Dipper said, sending his sister a deadpan frown.
Gideon rushed back on stage, gearing up for his big finish. “ So welcome all ye… to the Tent of Telepathy… And thanks for visitin’… widdle ol’ me!”
As his song ended, the crowd went wild with applause and cheers, which Gideon was more than happy to soak in as he took a sweeping bow. “Thank you! You people are the real miracles! Now drive home safely, ya’ll! And don’t forget to stock up on Lil’ Gideon merchandise on the way out! Goodnight everyone!”
The audience was still cheering, even as Gideon left the stage. Though Steven and Mabel joined in on their enthusiasm, it wasn’t long before the Gems announced that it was time to go.
“At least it was mercifully short this time…” Pearl said as the group began filing out of the tent.
“Yeah, last time we got dragged into one of these, it was almost an hour,” Amethyst groaned, still picking rice out of her hair.
“Aw, don’t be like that, you guys,” Steven turned back to them. “Admit it: you all had at least a little fun tonight, right?”
“Not really,” Garnet said.
“Steven, we appreciate that you wanted us to join you, but you have to remember, we see real magical things every day,” Pearl pointed out.
“Yeah,” Amethyst hung her arms behind her head, grinning. “Nothing phases us. Especially not some four-foot-tall kid with a fancy suit who can put on a little song and dance.” She snorted out a laugh, and even Garnet and Pearl couldn’t help but smirk along with her at Gideon’s expense.
Steven knew he wouldn’t be able to win them over, so he decided to gauge the twin’s reactions to the show instead. “So? What’d you guys think?”
“Well, I didn’t think it was possible, but somehow, that kid’s an even bigger fraud than Stan,” Dipper said with an incredulous grin. “No wonder our uncle’s jealous of him!”
“If there’s anything you really can say for Gideon is that he does have a bit more… pizzazz than Stan does,” Pearl agreed, laughing.
“Oh, come on, you guys,” Mabel countered. “His dance moves were adorable! And did you see his hair? It was like, whoosh !”
“You’re too easily impressed,” Dipper teased.
“Yeah, yeah,” she taunted right back, giving him a playful shove.
As the group left the Tent of Telepathy behind, none of them noticed a pair of eyes trained on them from the shadows. Anger slipped into the spaces between budding infatuation as Gideon marched back into the now-empty tent, tightly clutching the dully glowing amulet that hung from his neck.
“So, those fancy-smancy Crystal Gems came to poke their noses ‘round in my business, huh?” he muttered, grinning darkly down at his amulet. At the first of hopefully many powerful artifacts he hoped to take from the town’s mysterious guardians. “Well golly,” he chuckled with nothing less than genuine malice. “I sure do hope they enjoyed the show…”
“Dipper!” Mabel shouted as she ran downstairs the next morning. Her excited call interrupted her brother as he read through the Gem-related entries in the journal. When he glanced up from it, he was met with the sight of his sister’s face completely covered in colorful sequins.
“Um… Mabel?”
“Check it out!” Mabel exclaimed brightly. “After a lot of practice and wasted sequins, I finally managed to successfully bedazzle my face! It’s just a little hard to blink though…” She did so, wincing as several sequins bounced off her eyelids.
“Is that… permanent?” Dipper asked, frowning.
“I sure hope so!”
At that exact moment, the doorbell happened to ring. Stan’s voice rang out gruffly from the kitchen right after it. “Somebody answer the door!” he shouted, too busy or lazy or both to do it himself.
“Oh, that must be Steven!” Mabel grinned, excited to get her first ukulele lesson underway. “I’ll get it!” She hurried for the door, expecting to find Steven standing on the other side. Except, when she flung it open, someone much smaller was standing there instead.
“Howdy!” Gideon greeted with a cheerful smile.
“Oh my gosh!” Mabel gasped, beaming. “It’s ‘widdle ol’ you’!”
“Heh, yeah, my song’s quite catchy,” Gideon chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Now, pardon me if I’m a bit bold here, since I know we haven’t formally met, but after yesterday’s performance, I just couldn’t get your laugh out of my head!”
“You mean this one?” Mabel let out a loud, almost obnoxious laugh. One that Gideon was completely charmed by.
“Oh, what a delight!” he practically squeaked. “When I saw you in the audience, I said to myself, ‘Now, there’s a kindred spirit. Someone who appreciates the more… sparkly things in life.’”
“You got that right!” Mabel agreed. Her smile soon slipped into a cough as she choked on some of the sequins she accidentally swallowed earlier. A few of them landed on the lapel of Gideon’s suit, making it even flashier than it already was.
“Enchanting…” Gideon whispered in captivated awe. “Utterly enchanting.”
“Who’s at the door!?” Stan shouted from inside the house. Remembering just how clear he’d made his disdain for Gideon yesterday, Mabel was quick to cover for him.
“No one, Grunkle Stan!”
“I’m much obliged for your discretion,” Gideon said, his voice low just in case. “Stan’s no fan of mine. I don’t know how a lemon so sour could be related to a peach so sweet.”
“Oh, stop it, you!” Mabel giggled.
“What do you say we step away from here and get better acquainted?” Gideon offered. “Perhaps in my… dressing room?”
“You have a dressing room?” Mabel asked, amazed. “We could give each other makeovers! Oh, but hold on… I was waiting for Steven to come over so he could teach me to play the ukulele! In fact, he should be here any minute now…”
“Oh…” Gideon frowned. Mabel didn’t notice his hands starting to ball up into tight fists at his sides the second she so much as mentioned Steven’s name. “Well, if you’re expecting company, then I understand. I’ll suppose I’ll just be on my way then…”
Mabel bit her lip as she watched Gideon slowly turn to leave. He’d come out all this way, just to see her; with that in mind, she couldn’t very well turn him away so quickly, could she? “Gideon, wait!” she called out after him. “I… I’m sure Steven won’t mind,” she forced a smile on, trying her best not to glance up at the nearby temple. “Besides, he can just hang out with my brother until I get back, so… makeovers, here we come!”
“Why, yes indeed!” Gideon perked up as Mabel hurried to follow him. He flashed a discreet, almost snide grin up at the temple as they passed by it. For as much as the Crystal Gems may have in their arsenal, he knew that he’d won an important victory against their youngest member. The first of hopefully many more. “Yes indeed…”
Steven frowned as he glanced up at the clock again. He’d arrived at the shack quite some time ago, only to find that Mabel wasn’t there for their first ukulele lesson. As confusing as that was, he decided to stick around to wait for her, passing the time by watching TV with Dipper.
“When do you think she’ll be back?” Steven asked. The last thing he wanted to be was impatient, and yet, he couldn’t help but be a bit restless as minutes began to pass on into hours.
“I don’t know…” Dipper said, making no effort to hide his growing worry. “It’s not like Mabel to be gone for so long. All she did was answer the door this morning and she hasn’t been around since.”
“You don’t think something’s happened to her, do you?” Steven asked, aptly concerned.
Before Dipper could even try to answer, the front door burst open, putting a quick end to both boys’ fears. “As if on cue…” he smirked as Mabel happily bounded into the den.
“Hey, guys!” she greeted, proudly showing off her ‘makeover’. Her done-up hair was stiff with copious amounts of hairspray, her face painted with makeup, and her nails sharply manicured as she waved them about. “What’s goin’ on?”
“Wow, Mabel!” Steven exclaimed, impressed. “You look great!”
“Thanks!” Mabel laughed. “I gotta admit, this is even better than bedazzling my face!”
“Mabel, where have you been?” Dipper asked, confused. “And what’s going on with those nails? You look like a wolverine.”
“I know, right?” Mabel let out a playful roar as she pawed at the air. “I was just hanging out with my new pal, Gideon. I gotta say, he is one dapper little man!”
“Wait, you were with Gideon all this time?” Steven asked. “But… I thought you wanted me to teach you the ukulele…”
“Oh, well of course I do!” Mabel quickly assured. “But Gideon invited me over, and I didn’t really want to turn him down since he’s so nice! You’re not mad, are you, Steven?”
“No,” Steven shook his head. “We can always start our lessons later. I mean, you were just out having fun, right?”
“I sure was! Gideon’s the best! We talked about all sorts of stuff, like unicorns and summer fashions and he even did my hair!”
“Mabel, what would Grunkle Stan say if he found out you were hanging around with his biggest rival?” Dipper asked warily.
“Well, he’s not gonna find out, ‘cause you’re not gonna tell him, right ?” Mabel shot her brother a pointed, pleading look.
“I guess not, but still, I don’t trust anyone who’s hair is bigger than their head.”
“Oh, leave him alone!” Mabel huffed defensively. “You never wanna do girly stuff with me! You and Soos get to do boy stuff together all the time!”
“What do you mean?” Dipper asked. Before Mabel could even answer though, Soos poked his head into the room, a packet of hot dogs in hand.
“Yo, dude, you ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?”
“Am I!” Dipper excitedly jumped to his feet. “Aren’t you coming, Steven?”
“Uh… nah…” Steven frowned as he watched Mabel turn away, crossing her arms. “You guys go on ahead without me.”
“Whatever you say, dude,” Soos shrugged as he and Dipper rushed into the kitchen and began watching the hot dogs explode, laughing all the while.
“Ugh,” Mabel rolled her eyes. “Do you see what I have to put up with, Steven?”
“Mabel, I’m sorry if you’re feeling left out,” Steven said with an earnest frown. “I know how hard that can be; the Gems leave me out of a lot of things too.”
“See? You get it!” Mabel sighed as she took a seat next to him. “And so does Gideon. It’s so nice to finally hang out with someone who’s into a lot of the same stuff I am. Sorta like you, Steven.” She gasped, gripping Steven’s arm as a newfound idea struck her. “Oh my gosh, you should totally come with us some time!”
“Uh… yeah, maybe,” Steven said with a small, halfhearted smile. “A-anyway, it’s getting kinda late. I’m gonna be on a mission with the Gems tomorrow, but… how does Wednesday sound for your first ukulele lesson instead? We can do it up at the temple, and we can have snacks and everything!”
Mabel sighed again, this time out of relief that there were no hard feelings between her and Steven. She couldn’t help but think about how lucky she was, to be able to keep a friend as good and as kind as him, all while making another one like Gideon. “That sounds perfect,” she said, determined not to let him down again.
The sun sank low over Gravity Falls, casting a lazy warm glow on the sleepy little town. Mabel and Gideon took in this stunning view from atop the factory where the latter’s popular merchandise was stored. After a day of shopping and even more makeovers, the pair of newfound friends had decided to bring their adventures to a relaxing end as they enjoyed the sunset together.
“Whoa, the view from your family’s factory is nuts!” Mabel exclaimed with an amazed smile. “It’s a good thing we both brought our…”
“Opera glasses!” They both pulled their glasses out, using them to peer at each other as they shared a warm laugh.
“Ok, but seriously though, this view is incredible,” Mabel said, still grinning. “You can see the whole town from up here! And I don’t think I’ve ever been able to look down at the Gem temple before!”
“Aw, that silly ol’ temple ain’t nothing special,” Gideon said, quickly changing the subject. “You know, Mabel, when I’m up here lookin’ down at all those little ol’ people, I feel like I’m the king of all I survey.” He briefly dropped his voice down into a whisper as an almost sinister smile claimed his face. “I guess that makes you my queen, huh?”
“What?” Mabel chuckled, not taking him seriously. “You are being so nice to me right now! Quit it!”
“I can’t quit it,” Gideon’s tone suddenly turned sincere. “I am speaking from the heart.”
“From the where-now?” Mabel asked, her smile fading just the slightest bit.
“Mabel, I must admit, I’ve never felt this close with anyone,” Gideon reached out to stroke Mabel’s hair, despite her growing discomfort. “So, so close…”
“Uh… Gideon, listen,” Mabel began as she pushed his hand away. He was quick to reach for it again, only for her to stop him again, a bit more insistently this time. “I like you a lot, I really do, but… maybe we should just be friends…”
“At least give me a chance,” Gideon said. “Mabel, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?”
“A play date?” Mabel asked apprehensively.
“Uh uh.”
“A shopping date?”
“Uh uh. It’ll just be one lil’ ol’ date. I swear on my lucky bolo tie,” Gideon gripped said tie, which almost seemed to shine in the light of the setting sun.
“Well…” Mabel hesitated. Her first impulse was to say no, to let him down gently and hope that things wouldn’t be too awkward between them from here on out. But at the same time all he was asking for was a single, simple date. She owed him that much, after how much fun she’d had with him these past two days. And besides, what’s the worst that could happen? “Okay, then… I guess one date wouldn’t be so bad…”
“Mabel Pines, you have just made me the happiest boy in the world!” Gideon caught her off guard with a sudden hug. She awkwardly returned it, only to notice something that made her regret saying yes, even if she knew she couldn’t take it back now.
“Wait… Are you sniffing my hair?”
Though Mabel had hoped her “date” with Gideon would be laid back and lowkey, he didn’t seem to get the memo. Instead, he showed up at the shack atop a magnificent white stallion, which they rode off to the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town. Even more than that, Gideon had reserved the most lavish booth in the place as the waiters strived to fulfill his every last request.
“Havin’ a good time, Mabel?” Gideon offered her a flirtatious grin. “Cause I know I am…”
“Um… sure…” Mabel said, averting his gaze. “I can’t believe they let us bring a horse in here!”
Sure enough, the horse they’d rode here on was currently drinking out of the elegant fountain at the center of the restaurant, without anyone even attempting to stop it. “What can I say?” Gideon propped his feet up on the table. “People have a hard time sayin’ no to me…”
“Ah, Monsieur Gideon! Ze feet on ze table! An excellent choice!” the waiter complimented as he came by to refill their waters.
“Jean Luc, what did we discuss about eye contact?” Gideon shot him a cold glare.
“Yes, yes! Very good!” the waiter immediately looked away as he left the table with a wide, compliant grin.
Gideon quickly perked back up as he turned back to Mabel, throwing on another broad, charming smile. “You know, Mabel, I can’t recall the last time I’ve had such a delightful time on a date.”
“You’ve been on dates before?” Mabel asked skeptically. After all, Gideon was a year or two younger than she was; and despite her own longing for a fantastical summer romance, she’d never really been on anything resembling a date herself. Until now, she supposed.
“Well… not traditionally…” Gideon admitted with a shrug. “But I hardly think that lil’ detail matters. After all, it only makes this first date all the more… special , don’t you agree?”
“Uh…” Mabel trailed off, not liking what he was hinting at. But as their food arrived, he decided to double down on it, much to her growing dismay.
“As far as I’m concerned, tonight’s date is turning out to be a complete success! And tomorrow’s date promises to top this one in every way!”
“Whoa, whoa, what?” Mabel cut in. “You said just one date, and this was it.”
Gideon’s smile didn’t slip as he changed the subject seemingly out of nowhere. “Hark! What a surprise! A red-crested South American rainbow macaw!” That very bird abruptly flew in, startling Mabel as it landed on Gideon’s arm. With a snap of his fingers, the bird delivered its rehearsed message loud and clear.
“Mabel! Will! You! Accompany! Gideon! To the! Ballroom! Dance! This! Websday—Wednesday!” The bird quickly corrected its error after Gideon gave it a shake. With that, it hacked up an invitation to the event onto Mabel’s plate and flew away just as suddenly as it had arrived.
For a moment, Mabel could only sit there at a complete loss for words. She was more than ready to gently turn him down, hoping to put a polite end to his romantic pursuits once and for all. That is until she noticed a growing crowd surrounding their table, full of folks just as eager to hear her say yes as Gideon was.
“So Mabel?” he asked. He sent a knowing nod to the anticipating patrons, all but playing up the fact that there were so many eyes on them.
Under the weight of so much pressure, Mabel struggled to say much of anything at all. Though she’d started this summer seeking some kind of sweeping romance, this was far from what she’d had in mind. While he was nice and she did enjoy hanging out with him, Gideon wasn’t quite what she considered to be “boyfriend material”. And as painfully awkward as it may be, she figured she may as well tell him as much before this could get any more out of hand than it already was.
“Gideon,” she began as evenly as she could. “I’m sorry, but I’m gonna have to say…” She drew in an anxious breath as whatever she wanted to say was lost when she stole another glance at the hopeful crowd. If there was one thing Mabel hated, it was disappointing anyone, especially so many people all at once. Fortunately though, she remembered wouldn’t have to. “I can’t. At least… not tomorrow.”
“Oh? And why ever not?” Gideon asked. The crowd, meanwhile, slowly dispersed with a round of dissatisfied sighs. Mabel tried her best to tune them out as she explained.
“I-I promised Steven I would hang out with him tomorrow,” she said, putting on a small, wavering smile. “You know him, right?”
“Ah, yes…” Gideon grinned a bit too widely, a bit too forcefully. “Young Steven Universe… I sure do know ‘im, and those curious compatriots of his, the Crystal Gems.” He let his smile fall into a concerned facade, catching Mabel off guard as his tone turned suddenly serious. “Ya know, Mabel, I’d be… careful hangin’ around them folks so much if I were you.”
“Uh… what do you mean?”
“I mean, those Gems are magnets for all sorts of trouble,” Gideon let out a haughty huff. “Dangerous monsters, mysterious artifacts–why, I’d bet anything that menacing eye in the sky the other day had somethin’ to do with ‘em!”
“W-well…” Mabel trailed off anxiously.
“Oh, but listen to me go on,” Gideon played his bitterness off with a blatantly fake chuckle. “Forgive me for gettin’ a lil’ paranoid there. I just don’t wanna see anything happen to ya.” Mabel winced, unable to pull her hand back in time before Gideon put his over it. “If I could offer any advice, I think, perhaps, it’d be in your best interest if you steered clear of Steven and those Gems. For your own safety. You understand, don’tcha, Mabel?”
“Um…” Mabel slipped her hand away, running it through her hair. While almost every part of her wanted to defend Steven and the Gems against Gideon’s cold claims, once again, she found herself struggling to say how she really felt when she needed to most. “Y-yeah, ok,” she lied once, before just as quickly doing it again. “But… I still can’t do another date on Wednesday. I’ll be busy with… o-other stuff. So much stuff. In fact, there’s so much stuff I can’t even begin to list all the stuff because it’d just be waaaaay too much stuff, that’s how much stuff there is!”
“Well now, don’t worry none about it,” Gideon laughed warmly. “After all, we can just push it on over to Thursday evenin’, simple as that.”
“Oh, y-yeah…” Mabel smiled to cover a cringe. “Thursday… sounds… great.”
“Excellent!” he proclaimed, clearly delighted. “To me and my darlin’ Mabel! The happiest couple this side of Gravity Falls!” Gideon held his glass of sparkling water up, calling the rest of the restaurant to a toast. One that Mabel couldn’t bear to take part of as she felt the walls starting to close in all around her, forming a painfully awkward prison she was powerless to escape from.
The second Stan saw the shocking photo plastered on the front page of the Gravity Falls Gossiper the next morning, he knew he needed answers. And that’s exactly what he demanded out of Dipper, Soos, and Wendy the next morning as he barged into the gift shop in a furious tirade.
“Hey!” he practically shouted, startling the trio as they started their shift. “What the heck is Mabel doing in the paper next to that crazy pickpocket Gideon?! I thought I told her to stay away from him!”
“Oh yeah,” Wendy said, pulling up even more photos of the “couple” on her phone. “It’s like a big deal. Everyone’s talking about Gideon and Mabel’s big date tomorrow night.”
“WHAT?!” Stan exclaimed, baffled. “That little shyster’s dating my niece?!”
“I wonder what the new name for the power couple will be,” Soos pondered. “Mabideon? Gideabel? Or what about Magidbeleon!?”
“Dipper, did you know about this?” Stan asked his nephew, still fuming.
“N-no!” Dipper quickly, anxiously lied. “I didn’t hear a thing about it! Plus, I told her not to!”
“Well, where is she now? I swear if she’s with that little weasel, I’m gonna-”
“She’s not,” Dipper cut in before Stan could finish. “She’s up at the temple hanging out with Steven for the day.”
“Hm, well I’d rather her be up there than with Gideon of all people,” Stan scowled as he pulled his suit jacket over his shoulders. “This all ends today . I’m going down to that little skunk’s house and putting a stop to this right now!”
Without another word, Stan stormed out of the house, shattering the speed limit as he drove straight to the Gleeful residence in the suburbs. As soon as he arrived, he wasted no time banging on the front door, making a point of knocking the knit sign reading ‘pardon this garden’ clean off of it.
“I will pardon nothing !” he snapped as he pounded on the door again. “Gideon, you little punk! Open up!”
Instead of being met with his longtime rival, Gideon’s father, Bud opened the door instead. Despite the rage practically radiating off of Stan, he met it with a friendly, downright cordial grin instead. “Why, Stanford Pines! What a delight!”
“Out of the way, Bud!” Stan pushed his way into the house. “I’m looking for Gideon! I have a bone to pick with him!”
“Well, I haven’t seen the boy around lately, but since you’re here, you simply must sit down for some coffee!” Bud kindly offered as he guided Stan into the den.
“B-but I came-”
“It’s imported! All the way from Columbia!”
Stan paused, suddenly enticed. “Columbia, huh? I went to jail there once.” Only now as his anger began to subside, was he finally able to notice just how spacious and well-decorated the Gleeful residence really was. “Wow, these are some nice digs ya got here.” He whistled as he took it all in a detailed painting of a sad clown hanging from the wall. “Oh this? This is beautiful .”
“Well, thank ya very much,” Bud chuckled as he handed Stan a piping cup of coffee. “Now, I hear that your niece and my Gideon are, well, they’re singin’ in harmony lately, so to speak.”
“Uh, yeah,” Stan forced a scowl back onto his face. “And I’m against it.”
“Aw, no, no, no!” Bud shook his head. “I hardly see this as a bad thing, Stanford! In fact, I see it as a fantastic business opportunity!”
“…Huh?”
“Yes, the Mystery Shack and the Tent of Telepathy,” Bud explained “Gravity Falls’ premiere purveyors of the supernatural! We’ve been at each other’s throats for far too long now, yes we have. But don’t you see? This could be our big chance to set aside our rivalry and… pool our collective profits, you know?”
Stan’s eyes widened at such a tantalizing offer. In fact, it was so tantalizing that it practically erased every remaining ounce of hatred he may have harbored toward Gideon altogether. After all, if there was any way to profit from this, then he wasn’t about to turn that chance down; no matter who he might have to work alongside to get it. “I’m listening…”
“Ok, so let’s start with the easiest cord of them all, a C,” Steven instructed, demonstrating where to put his hands so Mabel could see. She followed suit on the spare ukulele Steven was lending her for the sake of their lessons and it wasn’t long before a pair of C cords rang out through the temple house. “That’s perfect!” Steven cheered. “You’re doing great so far, Mabel!”
“Steven, you’ve only taught me one cord,” Mabel laughed. With just how stressed everything even remotely related to Gideon had her lately, she couldn’t deny just how good it really felt.
“Yeah, but that cord is the first step to so many songs!”
At the same time, Garnet stepped in from the kitchen, toting a plate a tray of warm, freshly-baked treats for the pair to enjoy. “Cookies are done.”
“Thanks, Garnet!” Steven gladly took one. “Your cookies are the best ! What’s your secret anyway?”
“They’re made with lots of love,” Garnet smiled, mysteriously adjusting her shades. “And just a bit of vanilla.”
With that, she headed back into the kitchen to make another batch. Not that Steven thought they’d need too many more when he noticed Mabel hadn’t touched a single cookie, even though there were plenty of them. “Uh, don’t you want some, Mabel?” he handed one of the treats to her with a small, encouraging smile. “I thought you loved cookies.”
“I do…” she sighed, staring down at the ukulele in her hands. “I’m just… not super hungry right now…”
Despite his best efforts, the smile Steven had been trying to uphold all afternoon finally slipped. He’d picked up on Mabel’s more than clear melancholy almost as soon as she arrived for her lesson. And after trying to break her out of it all day, he decided it was finally time to get to the bottom of it. “Ok, something’s wrong here,” he put his instrument aside to focus on her instead. “You don’t want cookies, you haven’t laughed at any of my music puns, and you didn’t even hug Lion when you first came in! Are you feeling ok? ‘Cause you sure don’t seem ok…”
“I am ok,” Mabel said, but even she didn’t believe herself. “It’s just… well…” She looked away from Steven as Gideon’s almost ominous warnings from the previous night hung in the back of her mind. Nothing about what he’d said sat right with her, not because she believed him, but because she didn’t . Steven and the Gems weren’t dangerous; they were heroes who protected the town from all kinds of harm. If there was anyone she could trust, it was them–she could trust him . After everything they’d already been through together this summer, Steven had already more than proved that and then some.
“It’s Gideon,” she let out the breath she’d been holding. “I went out to dinner with him last night, even though I really didn’t want to go. And when he asked me out again tomorrow night, I didn’t know how to say no! It’s like I’m trapped in this big old loop of really weird dates and I just can’t get out of it, no matter what I do!”
“So… what’s the problem?” Steven asked, confused. “I thought you liked hanging out with Gideon.”
“I do!” Mabel protested. “But not like that ! I like Gideon, but only as a friend/little sister! But I can’t just turn him down and break his heart after he’s been so nice to me, even if he is sorta clingy and creepy. I just need things to go back to the way they used to be. You know, friends.”
“Have you tried telling him any of this?”
“It’s not that easy,” Mabel groaned into a throw pillow. “Every time I try to work up the nerve to break things off with him, I get this icky, guilty feeling in my gut that forces me not to say no! I don’t know what I’m gonna do! I have no way out!”
“Hm…” Steven pondered the problem for a moment. While he wasn’t well-versed in situations like this, he decided to turn to someone who was far wiser than he could ever hope to be. “Hey, Garnet! Mabel needs help with-”
“I heard,” Garnet said, emerging from the kitchen.
“So, uh, any advice?” Mabel asked, hopeful. “I bet you, Amethyst, and Pearl deal with unwanted admirers all the time, since all three of you are super pretty.”
“We deal with them sometimes,” Garnet took a seat on the couch alongside the kids. “But we never let it get that far.”
“I wish I had done that…” Mabel muttered, remorseful.
“Mabel,” Garnet placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “The best advice I can give you is to just be honest with Gideon about how you really feel. It’s not fair for you to lead him on, and it’s not fair for you to force yourself to keep doing something you don’t want to do. It may not be easy, and it may not feel good at first, but chances are it will be better for you both in the long run. Trust me.”
“You make it sound so simple ,” Mabel sighed, still apprehensive. “But… you’re right. I guess I’ve finally gotta come clean. I just hope he doesn’t take it too hard.”
“Things will turn out fine,” Garnet encouraged. “You’ll see.”
“Wow, Garnet,” Steven said, impressed. “I didn’t know you knew so much about relationships! You’re like a romance master!”
Garnet stood, smirking as she turned back to the kitchen. “I guess you could say that…” she said, shifting her shades once more.
"Well, that’s that,” Mabel took in a deep, resolved breath. “All I’ve gotta do now is tell Gideon the truth and go from there.”
“Don’t worry,” Steven assured, smiling. “It’ll all work out, just like Garnet said.”
“Right,” Mabel agreed, choosing to believe that. For as awkward and unfamiliar as the situation she was facing was, she couldn’t help but be glad to have such sound support from the likes of Steven and Garnet to help see her through it. “Ok. Enough moping outta this Mabel!” she perked up, grabbing a cookie as she reclaimed her ukulele. “Are you gonna teach me how to play this thing or not?”
“You bet!” Steven chuckled, more than ready to get the lesson going again. As they did, Mabel was more than happy to let her lasting worries fall by the wayside, at least for a little while. And when she was with someone like Steven, that was easier to do than it was with almost anyone else.
“Hey,” Dipper greeted Mabel as she skipped the shack’s den that evening, wearing a wide, easygoing smile on her face. “You look like you’re in a good mood. What happened? Did you finally break things off with Gideon?’
“Not yet,” Mabel replied “But never you fear, bro-bro. I plan on doing exactly that tomorrow night.”
“You’re not going to flake out and not tell him again, are you?” Dipper asked, skeptical.
“Nope,” Mabel shook her head, smiling. “I got some pretty great advice from Garnet. She told me that the best thing to do is just tell Gideon the truth. So that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”
“Well, hopefully he’ll take it better than Stan did when he found out you and Gideon went out on a date.”
“What?!” Mabel gasped, shooting her brother an appalled look. “I thought you said you weren’t gonna tell him!”
“I didn’t,” Dipper corrected. “He found out on his own and so he went over to Gideon’s to straighten him out. He’s been gone for several hours now, so it’s probably safe to assume that he’s been arrested by now.”
“Wait a minute…” Mabel said, her eyes widening in realization. “That’s it! If Grunkle Stan tells Gideon it’s over, then that means I won’t have to! He’s doing all of the work for me! This is great!”
“I thought you said you were going to tell him the truth.”
“Hey, why put myself out there if I don’t have to? I should have let Grunkle Stan know about this from the beginning! I owe him big time for this!”
“You sure do, kid!” Stan proclaimed as he entered the den. Mabel spun around to face him more than ready to give him a grateful hug, though she froze when she noticed the tee-shirt he was wearing, with the words “Team Gideon” printed plainly on it.
“Um… Grunkle Stan?”
“Mabel, I have some great news for you!” Stan began with a proud grin.
“Uh… is it that you told Gideon he’s not allowed to see me anymore?” Mabel asked hopefully, anxiously.
“What?” Stan scoffed. “No! The good news is that you’re going to have to marry Gideon.”
“WHAT?!” Mabel practically shrieked, shocked.
“It’s all part of the long term deal I just made with Bud Gleeful,” Stan explained. “There’s a lot of cash tied up in this thing, so don’t blow it for me.”
“B-but I-”
“Plus this merger has some immediate benefits too. Like this shirt!” his smile faded as he glanced down at the shirt, noticing how it emphasized his bulging stomach. “Ugh, I am fat .”
Unable to contain her rising horror for another second, Mabel let out a shrill, distraught scream. That scream continued echoing through the shack as she ran upstairs, with Dipper leaving a very confused Stan behind as he hurried up after her.
“Bodies change, kids!” he shouted, before ultimately sighing, forlorn. “Bodies change…”
It didn’t take long for Dipper to find Mabel once he got to the attic. He’d seen her like this plenty of times before, sitting on the floor with her knees pulled to her chest and her face buried deep into the collar of her sweater. And as a result, he knew exactly how bad this really was.
“Oh no…” he frowned as he took a seat on the floor next to her. “Mabel-”
“Mabel’s not here,” she muttered bitterly. “She’s in sweater town.”
“Are you going to come out of sweater town?”
Mabel simply shook her head with a tiny, plaintiff squeak. Even so, Dipper put a consoling hand on her shoulder in an attempt at coaxing her out of her sweatered shelter. “Don’t listen to Stan. You can always just end things with Gideon yourself, just like you said you were going to.”
“That’s what I thought, but I can’t !” Mabel let out a mostly muffled wail. “Talking about it is one thing, but doing it? That’s totally different! I don’t wanna hurt Gideon’s feelings like I know I’m going to if I go through with this!”
“So… what?” Dipper asked. “You’re just gonna keep dating him forever then?”
“Ew, no!” Mabel hugged herself even tighter. “I just… Ugh! I don’t know what to do!”
As soon as Dipper heard Mabel bite back what almost sounded like a sob, he knew exactly what he needed to do. It may not have been the most conventional solution, but if there was even a chance that it could pull his sister out of such a miserable state, it would be more than worth it. “Alright, enough is enough. If you can’t break up with Gideon, then don’t worry. I’ll do it for you.”
“Y-you will?” Mabel asked, finally pulling her face out of her sweater a little.
“Of course,” Dipper nodded, grinning. “And if it makes you feel any better, I’ll even take Steven with me. Between the two of us, this will be a piece of cake.”
In an instant, Mabel was out of sweater town, nearly knocking her brother to the ground as she locked him in a tight, grateful hug. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she exclaimed, elated and relieved. “Have I ever told you that you’re the best brother ever ?!”
“You could stand to say it more often…” Dipper said, smirking. He let her have the playful punch on the arm she gave him in retaliation for all the stress she’d been putting herself through lately. Stress that, if all went according to plan, would come to a quick and easy end.
“Wait, so… why are we doing this instead of Mabel again?” Steven asked as he and Dipper arrived at the crowded restaurant the following night. It didn’t take long for them to spot Gideon, eagerly awaiting Mabel at the largest table near the back so their next “date” could get underway. The very date the boys had come here to dismantle before it could even start.
“She has a hard time letting people down–always has,” Dipper explained. “So I figured this would be a better way to get her out of this mess without any strings attached.”
“Yeah, but… Garnet told her she needed to be honest with Gideon,” Steven noted, frowning.
“It is being honest. What we’re gonna tell him is still coming from Mabel, even if she’s not the one saying it.”
“I guess…”
“So have you ever really talked to Gideon before?” Dipper asked, curiously eyeing the young psychic from afar.
“Not a ton,” Steven admitted, shrugging. “But he seems nice enough from how he acts in his shows, and he really does seem to like Mabel, so… maybe this won’t be as hard as she thought.”
“Here’s hoping,” Dipper said as they approached Gideon’s table. As preoccupied as he was with his menu, he didn’t notice either of them, until Steven cleared his throat to catch the younger boy’s attention.
“Um… Hi, Gideon,” he greeted with a small, awkward smile.
Gideon lowered his menu, clearly caught off guard to see the pair standing there in Mabel’s stead. “Oh, well look who it is!” he exclaimed, grinning. “Dipper Pines and Steven Universe! What a pleasant surprise! Tell me, Steven, how are those magical colleagues of yours doin’?”
“You mean the Gems?” Steven asked. “They’re fine, I guess.”
“Very good, very good,” Gideon nodded, his smile sharpening just the slightest bit. “So, have either of you boys seen Mabel around? It’s high time for our date to get in motion.”
“Um, yeah… Look, Gideon,” Dipper began, frowning. “Here’s the thing. Mabel… isn’t joining you tonight. To be honest, she, uh… she doesn’t wanna see you anymore. She’s… Well, she’s kinda weirded out by you, no offense.”
“She was going to tell you herself,” Steven added. “But she didn’t want to hurt your feelings. She just thinks it would be better for both of you if you went your separate ways. You understand, right?”
A beat of uncomfortable silence passed between the trio. Steven and Dipper exchanged a fretful glance, both of them missing as Gideon’s eye twitched in thinly-veiled anger. “So…” he began, his voice low and unstable. “What you’re sayin’ is… you’ve… come between us?”
“You’re not like, gonna freak out, or anything, are you?” Dipper asked warily.
To the boys’ shared surprise, Gideon quickly cooled down as he picked his former cordial grin back up without skipping a beat. “Oh heavens, no!” he assured warmly. “These things happen, after all. Bygones, you know.”
“Are you sure you’re gonna be ok?” Steven asked, concerned nonetheless.
“Oh, don’t you worry yourself over lil’ ol me,” Gideon’s grin widened to an almost unnatural degree. “I’ll be more than fine, I assure you.”
“Okay, cool,” Dipper said, allayed. “Again, we’re sorry, man, but uh… thumbs up, huh?”
With nothing else really left to say, Steven and Dipper decided to take their leave. While they both offered him a final set of awkward smiles, neither of them noticed Gideon’s own fall away the second their backs were turned. Neither of them noticed how it swiftly transformed into a bitter, downright hateful glare. “Thumbs up indeed, my friends… ”
At the same time, Mabel held her post just outside of the restaurant, anxiously awaiting the boys’ return. She couldn’t hold back a huge sigh of relief when she spotted them, apparently unharmed and even better yet, in good spirits. “So? How’d it go? Was he mad? Did he try to read your minds with his psychic powers?”
“Actually, he took it pretty well,” Steven said. “Better than we expected him to, anyway.”
“Oh, good,” Mabel eased up. “I was afraid he might go totally crazy on you guys or something.”
“Don’t worry, Mabel,” Dipper assured. “He’s just a kid. He doesn’t have any ‘psychic powers’ or anything like that.”
“…I guess you’re right,” Mabel chuckled, finally letting herself relax.
“So now that all that’s out of the way, you guys wanna come hang out at the temple for a while?” Steven suggested. “We still have plenty of Garnet’s cookies left over from yesterday!”
Neither twin was about to turn such an enticing offer down. The three of them cheerfully raced off towards the temple, heedless of the danger they had just gotten themselves into. Of the downright dangerous wrath their seemingly innocent actions had just incurred.
Gideon paced around his darkened room later that night, his footfalls heavy and harsh. As the town’s most beloved medium, if there was one thing he wasn’t used to, it was being told no, especially when it came to something he wanted this much. And, with no need to save face in front of anyone now, he had no problems letting his true fury flow toward the pair that had told him no in the first place.
“Steven Universe, Dipper Pines, you have no idea what you’ve just done!” Gideon growled, throwing his fist down on his desk. “If you two think you can keep me ‘n my precious Mabel apart, then ya’ll got another thing comin’!”
As enraged as he was, Gideon wasn’t one to give up so easily. Especially not when he had a certain secret weapon on his side, one that would be more than enough to put both of his newfound foes in their place.
“So, one of them darn Crystal Gems thinks he can steal somethin’ from me, huh?” he sneered hatefully. His scowl quickly shifted into a sinister smile as he claimed his bolo tie off the table, watching with twisted glee as an eerie glow enveloped the charm. “Well, I already beat ya at your own game, Universe! And as soon as I get my hands on even more magical Gem dohickeys, nobody, not even you and your high and mighty friends, will be able to stop me!”
With a mere wave of his hand, he called upon the artifact’s incredible power. Its teal glow transferred to his hand first, then to the furniture surrounding him. Under the artifact’s spell, the objects began to float, following Gideon’s command as he threw them down in show of destructive might.
“Look out, boys,” Gideon smirked as his devious, deadly plan solidified. “You’ll rue the day you ever tried gettin’ in my way…”
“Gideon Charles Gleeful!” Bud scolded as he poked his head into the room, only to find the absolute mess Gideon had just made. “Clean up your room this instant!”
“I CAN BUY AND SELL YOU, OLD MAN!” Gideon viciously snapped back at him.
Bud was silent, just for a moment. But under his son’s infamous temper, he was quick to fold and leave the boy to his usual devices, no matter how wicked they may have been. “...Fair enough.”
“Okay, dudes. Hit me.”
At that, Dipper and Mabel charged straight at Soos. Both of them bounced off his padded stomach as they collided with the pillow under his shirt, laughing as they fell back onto the ground.
“Huh, feels good,” Soos noted, surprised.
“This is so nice,” Mabel let out a relaxed sigh as she lay back on the ground.. “I’m so glad everything’s finally back to normal.”
“Well, as normal as things get around here,” Dipper said, grinning.
“I’m serious. I don’t have to be all stressy about Gideon at all anymore, and I have you and Steven to thank for that, bro-bro!”
“Eh, don’t worry about it. I know you would have done the same for me.”
“Ha!” Mabel laughed. “As if you could even get a date in the first place!”
Dipper rolled his eyes, but before he could offer any kind of comeback, the phone suddenly rang from inside the shack. “Your turn!” both twins exclaimed in near unison. However, since Dipper was just a second too slow to the punch, the task ultimately fell to him. Mabel stuck her tongue out at him as he trudged inside to answer, leaving her and Soos to continue enjoying the calm of the early evening.
“You know, Soos,” Mabel began, standing. “I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but I could get used to this whole being single thing. I mean, unless any cute boys come along who aren’t lowkey weird and pushy like Gideon was.”
“Hm…” Soos pondered for a moment as his gaze drifted up to the temple. “What about Steven?”
“What about him?”
“I dunno,” Soos shrugged. “You dudes have a lot in common; I may not know a whole lot about romance, but you two could make a pretty cool couple, I think.”
“Whaaaaat?” Mabel couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t be silly, Soos! Sure, Steven may be super nice and funny and he’s as big of a Crying Breakfast Friends fan as I am, but we’re just friends! And I’ve seen enough teen rom coms to know you don’t date your friends.”
“Wow…” Soos said, intrigued. “I didn’t know teen rom coms were filled with such vast wisdom. I should totally watch more of them.”
“ Everyone should,” Mabel concluded with a confident grin. At the same time, Dipper emerged from the shack, an excited smile on his face as he raced past the pair.
“Yo, dude,” Soos called out after him. “Where you goin’ in such a hurry?”
“The town paper just called,” Dipper only paused for a moment to explain. “They wanna interview me about all of the weird stuff we’ve noticed in Gravity Falls since we got here. Can you believe it? I could fill the whole paper with all of the crazy things I’ve seen so far!”
“Or you could just fill it with how you’re a huge dork!” Mabel teased.
Dipper didn’t waste time arguing with her, not when there was something far more important waiting for him. “Anyway, I’ll be back later. Don’t wait up!”
Mabel saw her brother off with a wave before turning back to Soos with a daring grin. “Okay, Soos. Get ready for round two!”
Soos tapped his pillow-shielded stomach, just as prepared as she was for another direct strike. “Dude, I’m always ready.”
Dipper frowned, confused as he looked between the address he had written down and the place it had led him to. An apparently abandoned factory nestled atop a cliff on the far end of town was an odd place to conduct an interview. Still, he figured that it was just a more spacious place for the reporter to get better pictures of him for the paper. Or at least that’s what he would have thought if he’d been the only one to show up at the warehouse’s entrance.
“Steven?” he called, surprised when he spotted the other boy from afar. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, hey, Dipper,” Steven greeted with a smile. “Are you here for the free ice cream too?”
“Ice cream?”
“Yeah! I got a call a little while ago about there being a free sundae bar here, and since the Gems aren’t back from their mission yet, I figured I’d come check it out. But…” Steven’s smile dropped as he glanced at the factory doors before them. “This is kind of weird. I thought there’d be way more people here if free sundaes were involved. Maybe I showed up too late?”
“Um… I think you might have the wrong place, Steven,” Dipper pointed out. “I’m here for an interview for the town paper; they didn’t mention anything about free ice cream.”
“Wait, really?” Steven raised an eyebrow. “Um… maybe the town paper is giving out the ice cream too and they just didn’t tell you?”
“Somehow, I highly doubt that,” Dipper deadpanned. “I guess there’s only one way to figure out what’s actually going on here…”
Steven nodded, pushing the doors open to reveal the dark, largely empty warehouse. The boys exchanged a dubious glance as they stepped inside, finding only boxes and crates instead of reporters or ice cream awaiting either of them.
“Um… hello?” Steven’s voice echoed through the factory. “Is anybody here?”
“Well, Steven, I think it’s safe to say we’ve both been set up,” Dipper crossed his arms as Steven went unanswered. “I don’t get it though. Who would tell us to come all the way out here for nothing?”
As if on cue, the lights lining the high ceiling suddenly switched on as the doors slammed shut behind the boys. They turned, both of them pulling on the doors, only to find that they’d somehow locked themselves up tight, leaving them all but trapped. As startling as that was, they soon found that they weren’t as alone as they initially thought they were as a distinct southern drawl offered them an icy greeting.
“Hello, friends… ”
“Ugh…” Dipper groaned, annoyed as he and Steven turned back to face the younger boy. “Gideon…”
“Are you here for the free sundaes too?” Steven asked with a small, wavering smile.
“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Steven,” Gideon’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “But there ain’t any free ice cream here…”
“So then why are we here?” Dipper asked with a knowing, distrustful scowl.
“Dipper Pines…” Gideon begins. As he spoke, the shadows on his chubby face seemed to darken with ill intent. “How long have you been livin’ in this town? A week? Two? You like it here? Enjoy the scenery ?”
Steven and Dipper looked at each other, genuinely unnerved, though neither knew exactly why. Gideon wasn’t exactly threatening, despite how much he was clearly trying to be. But something about this entire encounter was still concerningly… off all the same. “Uh… Gideon?” Steven tried speaking to it first, only to be quickly cut off.
“Oh, and how could I forget about you ,” Gideon’s bitter smirk sharpened as he looked Steven’s way.“Steven Universe, prodigy of the Crystal Gems. Even you have to realize that those three ladies cause this town more harm than good.”
“No they don’t!” Steven quickly rushed to the Gems’ defense. “They protect Gravity Falls from things that want to hurt it! They’re heroes!”
“Heroes, hm?” Gideon scoffed. “You poor, deluded boy. If you only knew the truth…”
“What are you even talking about?” Dipper asked, very bit as confused as Steven was.
“Listen carefully, both of you,” Gideon’s tone and expression both suddenly turned deadly serious. “This town has secrets you couldn’t even begin to imagine and so do those Gems.”
“Huh?” Steven frowned. Gideon didn’t offer an answer as he leapt out of his seat, his small figure somehow seeming strangely intimidating in light of everything he was saying to them.
“Wait, is this about Mabel?” Dipper asked. “We already told you, she’s not into you!”
“LIES!” Gideon snapped, furious “Me and Mabel belong together! She was my peach dumpin’! And she would have been all mine if it hadn’t been for you , Universe!”
“Me?” Steven asked. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, I think you know exactly what I mean, boy,” Gideon hissed, fixing him with a jealous glare. “You stole Mabel away from me! I don’t know what you did or how you did it, but you’ve got some gall to try and beguile a taken woman!”
A brief beat of silence passed, only broken as both Steven and Dipper let out a sudden, shared laugh. “Ok, I thought you were crazy before, Gideon,” Dipper said, still chuckling. “But now I know you’re crazy.”
“There’s nothing like that going on between me and Mabel,” Steven clarified. “We’re just friends, honest.”
“You must think I’m pretty dumb to believe that hogwash,”Gideon said, his face growing red with rising frustration. “You snatched her affections up and then you turned her against me to make sure they’d get together!” His voice rose to a heated shout as he pointed an accusing finger at Dipper.
“Yeah, because that totally makes perfect sense,” Dipper rolled his eyes. Gideon, however, was far beyond listening to any kind of reason at this point. Instead, he approached the pair in a slow, calculated stride, gripping his bolo tie tightly as it began to glow with emerging magic.
“Whoa,” Steven’s eyes widened. “What’s that?”
Gideon answered, not with words, but by raising his fist high into the air. All at once, Dipper and Steven both felt as though the very ground itself had been pulled out from under them. But, instead of falling, they slowly rose into the air, engulfed in the exact same teal glow as Gideon’s strange amulet. He didn’t keep them airborne for long though; simply by flinging his hand, he threw both boys hard to the far end of the factory. They crash-landed in a large pile of boxes, largely unharmed, but undeniably shaken in light of what had just happened, over the otherworldly power Gideon had just displayed.
“Readin’ minds isn’t all I can do…” Gideon smirked as he approached the pair. Using his amulet, he brought several scattered boxes up into the air, intent on brutally bringing them down on the hapless pair before him.
“B-but you’re a fake,” Dipper said, trying his best to hide his growing alarm.
“Oh really?” Gideon inquired, his eyes alight with sadistic delight. His amulet was still aglow as he stood ready to unleash even more telepathic torment upon Dipper and Steven alike. “Then tell me, Dipper; is this fake?!”
Mabel heaved a heavy sigh as she sat alone on the shack’s porch, absently chewing on a lock of her hair. As wrapped up in her lingering guilty thoughts as she was, she didn’t even notice Wendy stepping out of the shack until she took a seat alongside her.
“Hey, how’s that hair tasting, buddy?” she asked with a casual grin.
“Wendy, I need some advice,” Mabel began. She’d thought to go back to Garnet for such advice, but she knew she had no real right to. Especially since she hadn’t really followed her first round of guidance to begin with. “You’ve broken up with guys before, right?”
“Oh sure,” Wendy said. “Plenty of them. There was Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stoney Davidson…”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Mabel continued against Wendy’s ongoing list. “I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross inside…”
“Pysche Wirley, Nate Holt, that one guy with the tattoos…”
“I dunno… Maybe I made a mistake letting Dipper and Steven do it for me,” Mabel shook her head, remorseful. “Gideon deserves an honest breakup, just like Garnet said.”
“…Danny Feldman, Mark Epston… Oh man, I don’t think I ever actually broke up with him. No wonder he keeps calling me!”
“I know what I gotta do,” Mabel stood as she made up her mind. Perhaps it was finally time to take Garnet’s advice after all. It was time to be honest with herself and with Gideon about how she really felt, no matter what might happen after. “Thanks for talking to me, Wendy.”
Still focused on her former boyfriends, Wendy didn’t offer much of a response as Mabel set off. She didn’t get too far however, as she passed by the temple, crossing paths with the Gems as they headed down the hill. “Heeeey, Mabel,” Amethyst waved at her. “You look like you’re in a hurry. What’s up?”
“Uh… I, um… gotta go take care of something I should have done awhile ago…” Mabel rubbed her arm, averting Garnet’s gaze in particular.
“Well, if you’re heading into town, could you keep an eye out for Steven?” Pearl asked, frowning down at the piece of paper in her hands. “He left this note about going to get free ice cream at some factory on the other side of town. To be honest, the whole thing sounds a bit…”
“Strange,” Garnet finished for her.
“Wait,” Mabel stopped short, her eyes widening. “Did you say Steven went to… a factory?”
“Yes…?” Pearl arched an eyebrow.
“A factory…” she repeated to herself. “Just like the one Gideon…” She trailed off, overtaken by rising dread. It took her only seconds to put all of the pieces together. And as soon as she did, she didn’t like anything about the picture she was getting. “You guys! I think Steven and Dipper might be in trouble!”
“What?” All three of the Gems asked in surprised unison.
“Ok, so uh, long story short, I… didn’t exactly follow your advice, Garnet,” Mabel admitted. “I did tell Gideon the truth, but… I had Steven and Dipper do it for me instead of talking to him myself. They said he took it well, but what if he really didn’t and wants revenge instead?!”
“Uh… are you kidding?” Amethyst snorted out a laugh. “You really think Gideon ’ s gonna hurt either of them? What’s he gonna do? Dance at them ‘till they beg for mercy?”
“But he-”
“Amethyst has a point,” Pearl cut Mabel off, crossing her arms. “Even if your theory is right, Mabel, I doubt the boys are in any real danger when it comes to someone like Gideon.”
“But,” Garnet interjected. “If it makes you feel better, then we’ll go check anyway. Just in case.”
“Aw, really?” Amethyst protested, but as usual, Garnet’s word was final.
“Gems, let’s go,” she commanded, leaping away. Amethyst and Pearl followed, startling Mabel as they left her behind.
“Hey!” she wasted no time running after them. “Wait for me!” After all, she couldn’t let them be the ones to deal with her problem. Just as much as she couldn’t let Dipper or Steven take the fall for her mistake any more than she already had.
In a matter of minutes, the factory had been thrown into complete chaos. With so much of his own merchandise on hand, Gideon had plenty of ammunition to use against Steven and Dipper. He let out a twisted laugh as he effortlessly hurled another handful of crates their way, forcing them both to leap away from each other to avoid it. Gideon didn’t give them any chances to catch their breath as he sent several sharp shards of broken glass flying straight at them at frightening speeds.
“Look out!” Steven shoved Dipper out of the way of this attack just in time. As the boys tried to recover, Gideon came to stand over them, smirking triumphantly as he held several more crates in thrawl, ready to bring them down at a moment’s notice.
“Grunkle Stan was right about you,” Dipper glared up at him. “You are a monster!”
“Your sister will be mine !” Gideon proclaimed fiercely. Without warning, he brought the boxes down; though fortunately, Steven and Dipper both had the wits about them to roll out of the way before they could be crushed.
“Gideon, listen,” Steven implored as he helped Dipper regain his footing. “You don’t have to do this. I mean, think about it; is hurting us really gonna help you feel better?”
“Well, of course!” Gideon exclaimed as though it was obvious. “Once I take care of you two, no one will ever stand between me and Mabel again! And besides,” his grip on his amulet tightened as he sent Steven a downright murderous grin. “With you gone, Universe, that means there will be one less of those pesky Crystal Gems to get in my way!”
He targeted Steven directly this time, using the amulet’s power to brutally shove him against the nearby wall. His pained cry wasn’t lost on Dipper, who rushed over to help him without a second thought. “You ok?” he asked, helping him back up.
Steven weakly nodded as he turned his attention back on Gideon. “W-what do you have against the Gems anyway?”
“Ya’ll really wanna know?” Gideon called upon the amulet to bring both of his victims high into the air above him. Unable to escape his telepathic grasp, they could only struggle fruitlessly, utterly terrified of what he might do to them next. “Well, I’ll be more than happy to tell ya! They-”
Behind him, the warehouse doors suddenly burst wide open. On the other side of them, the Gems stood, baffled by the alarming scene playing out before them.
“Steven! Dipper!” Pearl gasped when she noticed their precarious position.
“Uh… what’s goin’ on here?” Amethyst asked, confused.
At first, Gideon stiffened, realizing he’d been caught by the very trio best poised to stop him. That is, until he remembered the piece of their power hanging securely around his neck right now. “Well, golly,” he let his hold on the boys go, allowing them to fall clumsily to the ground. “Look who it is. Ya know, we were just talkin’ ‘bout ya’ll. See, I was thinking I’d have to go outta my way to finish the rest of you off once I picked off your most useless member here. But since ya’ll were nice enough to show up, now I won’t have to! Much obliged, ladies, much obliged indeed.”
The Gems could only share a puzzled glance at this. None of them could say they had ever been outright threatened by a literal child, after all. “Dude, what the heck are you even talking about?” Amethyst asked, barely holding back laughter.
“I’m talkin’ about how I’m gonna get rid of you Crystal Menaces once and for all take control of this here town the second I do!” Gideon snapped, frustrated. After all, they clearly weren’t taking him seriously; but as far as that was concerned, that was all about to change.
With a fierce shout, he called upon the amulet to lift all three of the Gems into the air before throwing them clear across the warehouse. Steven and Dipper only narrowly missed being struck by them as they landed in a messy pile right behind them.
“Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl!” Steven ran over to them with Dipper not far behind.
“W-what just happened?” Pearl asked, shaking her head to clear it.
Garnet took pause as she looked back at Gideon. A small gasp escaped her when she finally took notice of what her teammates had missed: the tiny teal amulet he was clinging onto, brimming with a far-too-familiar kind of power. “The Levitation Charm!”
“The what?” Dipper asked over Pearl and Amethyst’s surprised reactions.
“The Levitation Charm,” Pearl repeated. “It’s an ancient Gem artifact, one that we lost track of years ago!”
“How’d a little freak like you get your hands on it?” Amethyst asked Gideon, disgruntled.
“By bein’ far smarter than any of you dull ol’ rocks could ever hope to be,” Gideon smugly proclaimed as he threw another barrage of boxes at the boys and the Gems. Garnet summoned her gauntlets to punch most of them away, with Pearl and Amethyst providing support with their own weapons where they could. Gideon, however, wasn’t about to let them get the upper hand so easily.
As the Gems charged forward to try and reclaim the Levitation Charm, Gideon readily used it against them to send them flying once more. From there, he rained a shower of various merchandise down upon them, from dolls to mugs to decorative plates. As bombarded as they were, the Gems didn’t get much of a chance to fight back, especially as Gideon flung them against the wall, keeping them securely pinned against it.
“Aw, geez!” Amethyst struggled to break free from the charm’s hold. Pearl and Garnet did the same, but even they weren’t immune to its immense, ancient might. “Are we seriously getting our butts handed to us by Gideon ?”
“This is just plain embarrassing…” Pearl added, cringing.
“Gideon!” Garnet snapped fiercely. “Hand the charm over, now . Its power is too much for you.”
“Oh, that’s where I’d beg to differ,” Gideon chuckled deviously. “If anything, I’d say it's too little power for me. But once I get a hold of even more of your fancy artifacts, that won’t be a problem anymore. This Levitation Charm is just the start. There’s the Replicator Wand, the Warp Whistle, the Hourglass, Gem shards, and so many more, all just ripe for the takin’! With all of ‘em combined, I’ll be nigh unstoppable!”
As Gideon broke out into a round of wicked laughter, the Gems could only look at each other, even more confused than they already were. “Wha–how does he know about all of those artifacts?” Pearl asked, genuinely shaken.
“Who cares ?” Amethyst growled, still fighting against the charm as best she could. “We gotta figure a way out of this so we can knock that stupid dork’s teeth in!”
“We may not have to…” Garnet muttered, nodding back to the ground.
The Gems watched in a mixture of relief and worry as both Steven and Dipper began to sneak up on Gideon from behind, hoping to catch him off guard and snag the charm away from him. Their plan ultimately fell apart, however, when Gideon noticed their approach at the worst time possible. He spun around with an enraged glare, trusting his empowered hand out towards them far before either of them could even get close. The boys found their bodies seizing up as they rose into the air, left completely at Gideon’s mercy, or lack thereof, all over again.
“Let us go!” Steven cried, wriggling aimlessly.
“Seriously, man!” Dipper agreed, shooting Gideon a defiant glare. “Just give it up! You’re never getting all those artifacts and Mabel is never gonna date you!”
“That’s a lie!” Gideon practically screamed. A bloodthirsty grin spread across his face as he noticed several boxes of his officially-licensed lamb sheers lying nearby. As far as he was concerned, there was no better weapon to put an end to two troublesome interlopers, once and for all. “And I’m gonna make sure you never lie to me again…”
The boys and the Gems alike watched with rising horror as the shears began to hover, their sharp blades opening as they drew dangerously close to Steven and Dipper. Though Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl fought harder than ever before to escape and help them, they were ultimately powerless to stop Gideon’s cruel attempt at finishing the job. Fortunately, though, someone else arrived just in the nick of time to do that in their stead.
“Gideon!” The factory doors swung open again, this time for Mabel as she stood with clenched fists and unwavering resolve. “We have to talk!”
The second he saw Mabel, Gideon let the shears clatter to the ground. While Dipper and Steven breathed a sigh of relief, they were still every bit as trapped as the Gems were. Something that Mabel quickly took notice of as she stormed straight over to Gideon. “M-Mabel!” he exclaimed in flustered surprise. “My marshmalla! What are you doin’ here?”
“I’m sorry, Gideon,” Mabel sighed. “But I can’t be your marshmallow. I needed to be honest and tell you that myself in the first place.”
“I… I don’t understand…” Gideon said, taken aback. He squeezed his amulet tighter, its magic suddenly suffocating Dipper and Steven from their spot in the air.
“Uh, Mabel?” Dipper barely managed to choke out. “This probably isn’t the best time to be brutally honest with him!”
“Y-yeah!” Steven agreed just as tightly.
Mabel glanced up at the pair, aptly concerned, before her gaze shifted over to the Gems. Garnet offered her a silent, supportive nod, not needing to reiterate her advice again. Not now that Mabel had finally found the courage she needed to follow through on it when she needed to most.
“Hey, but don’t be too upset, Gideon,” she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “We can still be makeover buddies, right? Would you like that?”
“R-really?” Gideon asked, finally letting go of the Levitation Charm
Mabel had been keeping an eye on the amulet this whole time, and as soon as she saw her opportunity, she took it. “No, not really!” she ripped the charm off his neck, holding it high out of his reach. “You were attacking my brother, not to mention Steven and the Gems! What the heck is wrong with you?!” The boys let out cries of surprise as they fell to the ground, released from the amulet’s power at last. Likewise, the Gems landed on the ground much more gracefully, and within seconds, they had Gideon surrounded on all sides.
“You have a lot to answer for,” Garnet said, hands on her hips.
“I’ll say!” Pearl added hotly. “You’ve got a lot of nerve to not just steal one of our incredibly dangerous artifacts, but you were plotting on taking even more ? You may be just a human child, but what you tried to do here is absolutely inexcusable, Gideon.”
“Yeah! You’re lucky we don’t pound you and your big dumb hair until you’re both flat!” Amethyst threatened, punching her palm. “In fact, I’m still not so sure we shouldn’t.”
“Gah!” Gideon shot a hateful glare up at all three of the Gems. “We’ll see who’s beatin’ who when I get that amulet back-”
“Nope,” Mabel pulled it even further away from him when he reached for it. “Steven, catch!”
Steven easily caught the charm when Mabel tossed it over to him, holding it high to make sure Gideon wouldn’t be able to get it again. “Ha!” Dipper sent him a victorious grin. “Not so powerful without that, are you?”
Unable to contain his building rage for another second, Gideon pushed past Mabel and the Gems alike as he charged straight for Steven and Dipper. He barreled straight into the pair, with enough force to not only cause Steven to drop the amulet, but to send all three boys crashing straight through the nearby window.
“No!” Mabel and the Gems shouted in equal alarm. Their fear was more than warranted, as the Gleeful family factory rested on the edge of a high cliff. As a result, Steven, Dipper, and Gideon were all left in a helpless freefall, only occasionally broken as they struggled against each other. As the Gems raced out of the factory and ran down the hill, it was clear they wouldn’t make it in time to catch any of them. But as they soon found, they wouldn’t have to.
Mere inches before any of them could brutally hit the ground, they stopped, suspended in the air by the power of the Levitation Charm. This time, Mabel wielded it to keep both herself and the boys aloft as the light of the full moon shined bright behind her. Her expression was set in a determined glare as she safely set them all down on the ground in the forest below.
“Listen, Gideon,” she said, wanting to make sure he’d get the message this time. “It’s over. I will never, ever date you.”
By now, the Gems had arrived, mutually relieved to see that everyone was alright. Mabel didn’t waste any time handing the charm over to Garnet, who made sure to bubble it and send it away before Gideon could even try to steal it again.
“My powers!” he cried, distraught. His panic swiftly switched out for bitter anger, however, as he shot the kids and the Gems the fiercest glare he could possibly muster. “Oh, this isn’t over,” Gideon warned crossly. “I’ll make all ya’ll pay, every last one of ya! This isn’t the last you’ll see of wittle. Ol’. Me…” With this threat relayed, he began to back away into the dark forest behind him in an attempt at making a dramatic exit. One that, much like all of his other plans tonight, fell through completely.
“Uh… we can still see you!” Steven called out after him.
“Well,” Pearl huffed. “This whole ordeal was rather…
“Stupid,” Amethyst finished, crossing her arms.
“Well, at least we’re all ok now,” Steven said with a small, relieved smile.
“But you guys almost weren’t , and it was all my fault,” Mabel looked away guiltily. “Garnet, you were right; I should have told Gideon the truth from the start. Maybe then he wouldn’t have tried to attack two guys I actually care about…”
“Aw, Mabel…” Dipper said, frowning. Likewise, Steven shook his head; both sure signs that neither of them blamed her for any of this, and yet…
“Like I said,” Garnet knelt down to the girl’s level as she rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Telling the truth about how you feel isn’t always easy. And if some people don’t take that truth well, that’s on them. What’s important is that you did what was right for your heart.”
“Yeah…” Mabel finally allowed herself a smile. Because for the first time in days, she finally felt unburdened by her own feelings. For the first time in days, she finally felt free . “I guess I did…”
“Ah, this is living,” Stan let out a contented sigh as he reclined back in his plush chair. He’d just finished signing the last of the paperwork that would seal the deal he and Bud had worked out, solidifying a partnership they were both sure would last a long time.
“Indeed it is,” Bud agreed, smiling as he sipped his coffee. “From now on, it’s all brand name foods and clown paintings.”
“That’s the way it should be,” Stan nodded. After all, he was more than happy to live the high life without having to put any actual work in for it for a change. Or at least he would have if it all didn’t fall apart before it could even truly begin.
This calm was suddenly shattered completely as the front door suddenly burst open and a livid Gideon stormed in. His already burning rage only intensified when he caught sight of exactly who was sitting in his living room.
“Well, look who it is,” Bud greeted his son brightly.. “Gideon, we were just-”
“Stanford Pines, I rebuke thee!” Gideon hopped onto the coffee table, pointing an accusing finger at him.
“Rebuke?” Stan raised an eyebrow. “Is that a word?”
“The entire Pines family has invoked my fury!” Gideon seethed. “And so have those darn Crystal Gems! You all will pay recompense for your transgressions!”
“What, you got a word-a-day calendar or something?”
“Oh, but sunshine?” Bud cut in with a nervous laugh. “What about our deal with Mabel and-”
“SILENCE!” Gideon screamed, his face red with fury. “The deal’s off! I want him out !”
A beat of uncomfortable silence passed, though it wasn’t long before Bud broke it with a small, awkward chuckle. “Well, uh, I see that he’s taken to one of his rages again. Sorry, Stan, but I have to side with Gideon on this one.”
Stan balked as Bud tore up their contract, abruptly ending any merger that could have happened between the Mystery Shack and the Tent of Telepathy. “Okay, okay,” he stood, shrugging in apparent defeat. “I can see when I’m not wanted.”
Just before he turned to leave, however, Stan suddenly ripped the clown painting clear off the wall behind him, not sparing either of the Gleefuls another word as he rushed out. “Um, Stan? I’m sorry, but I’m gonna need that painting back,” Bud called after him. “Stan?! Stan!”
Stan simply laughed as he tossed the painting into his car and sped off. At least he’d managed to get something out of this ruined deal, even if it wasn’t much. “Try and catch me, suckers!”
By the time the Gems and the kids finally arrived back at the Mystery Shack, Stan was also pulling up. He heaved a heavyhearted sigh as he got his clown painting out of the back seat, muttering, “I could have had it all…”
He stopped short when he noticed the group lingering near the porch, each of them exhausted and disheveled after everything they’d been through that night. Even the Gems were a bit worse for wear, a fact that Stan had no problems pointing out. “What are you all doin’ up so late?And what the heck happened to you? You look like you were attacked by an angry chipmunk– especially you three.” He fixed the Gems with a wry, teasing smirk.
“Pfft, if only it’d been a chipmunk,” Amethyst pouted, crossing her arms. “Would have been waaaaay less annoying.”
“It was Gideon,” Mabel responded simply and tiredly. Both Dipper and Steven echoed her with every bit as much fatigue.
“Gideon,” Stan repeated crossly. “Yeah, the little mutant ‘swore vengeance’ on all of us.. Heh, I guess he’s gonna try and nibble my ankles or somethin’.”
“Oh yeah,” Dipper perked up.. “How’s he gonna ‘destroy’ us now, huh? Try to guess what number we’re thinking of?”
“He’ll never guess what number I’m thinking of,” Mabel proclaimed. “Negative eight! No one would ever guess a negative number!”
Everyone got a good laugh at this, one that came almost entirely at Gideon’s expense. In light of all he’d put them through this evening, it was more than warranted. “Yes, well,” Pearl spoke up, still chuckling. “I think it’s safe to say that without that Levitation Charm, we won’t have have to worry about Gideon anymore.”
“Hm, as if we ever had any reason to worry about that puny punk to begin with,” Stan countered with a confident smirk. As the laughter continued on into the warmth of the night, it was easy for the Gems and the Pines alike to leave behind any and all notions of the largely empty threats Gideon had leveled against them.
Threats that, against all odds, he had more of a means to carry out than any of them could have thought.
In fact, Gideon was still fuming far into the night. He wasn’t about to take such an embarrassing loss lightly, especially not one that came at the hands of the very Gems he was determined to conquer. But now, it wasn’t just about them; it was about the Pines family too. As far as Gideon was concerned, every last one of them deserved to suffer. And he was going to do whatever it took to make sure that happened.
So he channeled his anger into small, crude wooden dolls of each of his foes to join the vast collection he’d already crafted of the rest of the town’s residents. He set about using the dolls to mock each of them in turn, starting with Mabel as he acted out what he was convinced she actually thought as opposed to what she’d already said. “‘Gideon, I still love you,’” he mimicked in a lovestruck, high-pitched voice. “‘If only my stupid family weren’t in the way.’”
Gideon picked up the doll he had made of Stan quite some time ago, dropping his voice down as he imitated his business rival. “‘Look at me. I’m old and smelly.’”
He let out a bitter sneer as he gathered the figurines of the Gems in his hands, holding onto them tightly as he glared at them mercilessly. “‘Oh we’re just so ‘perfect’!’ Everybody loves us, even though we’re nothin’ but a bunch of goody-two-shoes who horde all their power to themselves!’”
Gideon threw the Gems’ dolls across the room, doing the same to Steven’s soon after. “‘I’m just a two-timin’, no account girlfriend stealer!’” He screamed, watching with sadistic satisfaction as Steven’s doll shattered to pieces against the wall.
He was more than ready to give Dipper’s figurine the same fate after one final round of hateful mockery. “‘Hey, what are you gonna do without your precious amulet?’”
Gideon clenched his fist tightly around the now-empty space where the Levitation Charm used to be. He’d been careless, letting its power be taken from him far too easily. But that wouldn’t let it happen again. Not when he had the perfect source on hand to help him get even more .
“Oh, you’ll see, boy…” He closed the old book lying on his desk, a red, leather-bound volume with a golden six-fingered hand on the cover, marked with a number 2. “You’ll see…”
Notes:
Next time... the kids have to work together to save the town from a bright new threat...
Chapter 8: Attack the Light
Summary:
After accidentally unleashing a horde of light monsters upon Gravity Falls, its up to Steven, Connie, Dipper, and Mabel to team up to save the day by attacking the light!
Notes:
Woo baby, sorry this one took so long! My mental health took a nosedive near the beginning of this month for... reasons. Anyway! Enjoy this almost entirely original chapter, one that wasn't even in old UF and one that I had a pretty good time working on. Adapting a mobile game about a magical Prism into a written chapter can actually be fun, who knew? Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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“Oh, Steven!” Pearl’s voice trilled through the house as she, Garnet, and Amethyst warped in from their latest mission. While Steven had spent much of the morning engrossed in an engaging new RPG, the second the Gems arrived, his controller was tossed aside in favor of greeting them.
“You’re back!” he cheered as he sprinted down from the loft.
“Hello, Steven,” Garnet said. Between her hands, a strange, triangular object hovered, awash in a gentle aura of light. As soon as Steven spotted it, he was captivated. He always was whenever the Gems happened to bring home any mystical relics from their distant, daring quests.
“What’s that?” he asked with an eager, intrigued smile.
“This is an ancient Gem weapon known as a Light Prism,” Pearl eloquently explained. “In the hands of a powerful Gem, it could be used to command an entire army of light!”
“Whoa, cool!” Steven exclaimed, stars in his eyes. “Can I see it?”
“Oh, no,” Pearl quickly shook her head. “Absolutely not. It’s very dangerous. Well… in the hands of a powerful Gem anyway.”
“But in the hands of Steven,” Amethyst shrugged. “Eh, not so much.”
“Yeah!” Steven offered up a pleading pout. “Me no powerful…”
“The answer’s still no,” Garnet asserted. “This Prism isn’t a toy.”
“Garnet’s right,” Pearl staunchly nodded. She raised a hand to her gemstone, summoning a small glass box. “That’s exactly why we’re going to keep it contained in this protective case and bubble it inside of the temple for good measure.”
“Ugh, yeesh,” Amethyst rolled her eyes as she watched Pearl secure the Prism inside of the case. “You wanna lock it up in a safe while you’re at it, P?”
“Hm… That’s… actually not the worst idea you’ve ever had, Amethyst…”
“I was joking ,” she deadpanned. “Chill, Pearl. It’s just some dumb shiny triangle. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“I already told you what could happen!” Pearl huffed. She carefully sat the Prism down onto the kitchen counter as she prepared to bubble it away. “An army of light could-”
“Could what?” Amethyst interrupted. “ Blind us by being too bright or whatever? C’mon,” she snorted out a laugh. “We could take ‘em.”
“This is serious , Amethyst-”
“Serious? Like those dinky shrimp guys that gave you all that trouble the other week?”
“Those Crystal Shrimp were menaces ! Don’t think I don’t remember how you were struggling against them too! We were both lucky Garnet was there to-”
“You’re lucky I’m there any time the two of you need saving,” Garnet brought the argument to a quick end. She turned her back on her team in favor of opening the temple gate instead. As she entered, the most Pearl and Amethyst could do was simply a glance and a shrug.
“Garnet always wins,” Amethyst chuckled, embarrassed.
“I guess so,” Pearl muttered, stifling a blush. “We’ll see you later, Steven,” she only briefly glanced back over her shoulder as she and Amethyst ventured into the temple after Garnet.
“Oh,” Steven frowned. If there was one thing he knew the Gems were good at, it was disappearing as quickly as they tended to appear. “Yeah, ok… see you guys later…”
He began to heave a disappointed sigh when the temple door sealed itself shut. That sigh was cut off, however, when he spotted what was still sitting on the kitchen counter beside him. “Oh my gosh,” he grabbed the Light Prism, still enclosed inside of it's case. “You guys!” he shouted, rushing over to the temple gate and knocking on it. “You left your light thingy behind!”
Despite his best efforts, none of the Gems answered. Steven slumped against the door, the Prism still resting in his hands. “What am I supposed to do with you now?” he asked it, though of course, it offered no response. He heaved himself up onto his feet, his focus still on the Prism as he wandered over to the front windows. “I guess I should probably just leave you where I found you until the Gems come back out, huh?”
This time, his forlorn sigh actually made it out as he sunk onto the bench near the window. “I bet they found you on some super cool magical quest,” he lay down, letting the Prism rest on his stomach. “I wish I could go on a magical quest too…”
Unable to curb his restlessness, Steven sat up, peering out the window beside him. As he stared at the Mystery Shack at the foot of the hill below, a small smile spread across his face when a newfound idea popped into his head. One that he hoped could satisfy his craving for adventure at least in some small way.
“ Or… ”
“Ta da!” Steven proudly held the Light Prism high above his head for his friends to see. He’d convinced Dipper, Mabel, and Connie to meet him down at the shack in record time, and with good reason. There was no telling when the Gems would realize their newly-claimed artifact was gone, and Steven wanted to make sure he had a chance to show off something this special while he still had a chance.
“It’s… a triangle,” Dipper noted bluntly.
“A really shiny triangle,” Mabel added, much more fascinated. “Steven, is every Gem thing always so pretty and shiny?”
“Most Gem things are.”
“So is this Gem thing magical then?” Connie asked, curious.
“Uh huh,” Steven nodded. “Pearl said it can make, uh… what was it again? Oh, right! An ‘army of light’, but… I’m not sure what that could mean…”
“Well, whatever it does mean, it sounds awesome !” Mabel exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. “I wanna see it in action. Bust that baby outta that case and get the light show started!”
“It’s a light army , Mabel, not a light show,” Dipper corrected. “Which doesn’t sound awesome to me; it sounds dangerous .”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what Pearl said,” Steven frowned down at the Prism. “But then again… she said only a powerful Gem could make the light army and… last time I checked, I’m not that powerful yet , so…”
“I don’t know, Steven,” Connie shook her head. “I’m with Dipper on this. I don’t think we should play around with that thing.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. But…”
“ But you said it wouldn’t do anything for you,” Mabel pointed out as she plucked the Prism out of Steven’s hands. “And since we’re not even Gems, it definitely won’t do anything for us. So what’s the harm in taking just a quick peek?”
“The harm is that we shouldn’t even risk it in the first place,” Dipper protested. He managed to take it from Mabel, pulling it out of her reach when she tried to get it back from him. “I’ve been reading about Gem artifacts just like this in the journal, and a lot of them are incredibly powerful and-”
“Blah blah blah, boring nerd stuff, blah blah,” Mabel teased, sticking her tongue out at her brother as she snatched the Prism back. “That’s all I’m hearing from you right now. Relax, bro-bro.” She casually tossed the case up before catching it again. “If this thing really was dangerous, then the Gems wouldn’t have just left it lying around, would they?”
“Um… well, they sorta left it behind on accident,” Steven rubbed the back of his neck. “But before that, they were talking about bubbling it or locking it up inside of a safe.”
“That makes it sound like they thought it was dangerous, at least,” Connie noted.
“Exactly,” Dipper nodded, scowling. “So quit messing with it already, and-” He attempted to reclaim the Prism from Mabel, only to be met with a small shove, one that he readily returned as an argument quickly ensued. “Ugh, Mabel!”
“Dipper!” Mabel retorted just as harshly. “Why don’t you quit being so paranoid and just-”
“Take that thing back up to the temple where it belongs and-”
“Having some fun with it isn’t gonna hurt-”
“Anyone with any kind of common sense would know you shouldn’t-”
“Keep on trying to grab it from me, but you’re never gonna-”
“Stop being so-”
“You’re just so-”
“ANNOYING!” both twins snapped in fierce unison, though their bickering hardly stopped there. Steven and Connie could only stand on the sidelines and anxiously watch as they grappled with each other for the Prism, though it never managed to stay in either of their hands for too long.
“Is this how siblings normally act?” Connie whispered, aside. “I’ve never had one to know.”
“Me neither,” Steven shook his head. “B-but they shouldn’t fight like this! Come on, you guys,” he stepped forward, throwing himself into the struggle between the twins. “Why don’t we all just-” He stopped short when his hands finally latched onto the Prism–or rather, onto its case. The artifact itself suddenly slipped out, falling between the three of them. As caught up in their shouting match as they were, Dipper and Mabel didn’t notice it, but Steven did. Without thinking, he lunged low for the Prism, catching the precious treasure with both hands well before it could hit the ground.
And at that exact moment… Prism’s true power was suddenly unleashed
The second Steven so much as touched it, a powerful, practically blinding light erupted from it. The twins were caught off guard, as was Connie as they shielded their eyes from its sheer radiance. Steven did the same, only able to catch a glimpse of the Prism as it began to hover away from him as even more light began to violently erupt from deep within it.
“W-what’s happening?!” he cried. His voice was drowned out by the ear-shattering racket the Prism was somehow creating. He was finally forced to let go of it, forced to fall back to the ground alongside his friends as something emerged from the artifact. A massive ray of white light briefly bounced aimlessly around the yard in front of the shack, before it finally took a more, monstrous form.
It was a fearsome beast, with long, spindly claws and a singular red eye. It glared viciously down at the four frightened kids before it as it towered high into the air above them, ready to strike. With few options on hand to flee or fight back, they were only able to gape up at the monster, shocked stiff when it let out a furious roar that only seemed to grow louder by the second.
“W-well,” Steven breathlessly spoke up. “Look on the bright side. At least it’s just one monster instead of a whole army, right?”
Without warning, the monster stepped back, its arms raised high into the air. On the ground in front of it, the Prism flashed seven successive colors, not that any of the kids noticed as fixated on the monster as they were. Those colors soon overtook the monster, flashing erratically over its form until, in another blinding burst of light, it exploded .
At first, the kids thought and hoped that was the end of it. But then, they noticed seven consecutive bursts of light launch out from where the monster once stood. Each of them shot high into the air, scattering as they fell back down all across town. Only one of the light bursts crashed back down near the shack, flashing a vibrant shade of indigo as it split apart upon hitting the ground.
When the light finally cleared, the kids were able to see what had been left behind. Instead of one monster, there were several , each glowing indigo as they scampered aimlessly around the yard. Fortunately, they were much smaller than the white light creature had been, but they were no less dangerous as they soon turned their attention on the kids before charging straight for them.
“You were saying?” Dipper shot Steven a pointed look.
By now, they’d all picked themselves off the ground, each of them tensing up as the light monsters continued creeping towards them. “What do we do now?” Connie asked anxiously.
“Um… I don’t…” Steven trailed off. He looked up at the temple, expecting the Gems to emerge and save the day, just like they always did. Except… none of them came. They were left to fend for themselves this time.
Which is exactly what one of them did.
Dipper, Connie, and Steven nearly jumped out of their skin when they heard Mabel’s fierce and sudden shout. They turned just in time to see her running straight at one of the light creatures with a large rock raised high above her head. She threw the rock down hard at the monster, all but crushing it until it imploded with a bright flash to signify its defeat.
“Ha! Take that!” she cheered. “Mabel - 1, light army - 0!”
“Wha–how’d you know that would work?” Dipper asked, bewildered.
“I didn’t,” Mabel shrugged as she reclaimed her rock. Before she could hurl it at another monster, however, the kids and the monsters alike were caught off guard when the shack’s door abruptly burst open.
“Ok, what kind of kooky Gem nonsense is tearin’ up my yard this time?” Stan scowled as he surveyed the situation. Confusion filled in between his annoyance as he spared a quick glance over at the kids. “No, seriously, what are these things? Some kinda weird sparkly bugs? Should I call an exterminator? Or better yet, get the flamethrower?”
“No need, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel proclaimed. “I’ve got this covered!” She slammed her rock down on yet another light monster, getting rid of it in short order, just like she had before.
Stan couldn’t help but snort out a laugh at his niece’s brazen, surprisingly violent display. “Atta girl, pumpkin!” he said with a broad, proud grin. “Out here bein’ scrappy, just like your Grunkle Stan!” His smile folded into a more critical look when he glanced over at Dipper. “Why are you just standing there instead of lending your sister a hand, huh? Afraid those noodle arms of yours will give out if ya tried lifting a rock like that?”
“Grunkle Stan!” Dipper protested, his face red in embarrassment. “Not in front of Steven and Connie!”
“So,” Stan shifted his gaze over to Steven. “What’s the story with these creeps anyway? And why aren’t the Gems down here to take care of it before they can scare any of my paying customers away?”
“Sorry, Mr. Pines, this is all my fault,” Steven sighed as he reclaimed the fallen Prism. Fortunately this time, no other monsters emerged from it. “I accidentally summoned all these light monsters with this magical Prism thingy. And now, they’re not just here–they could be causing trouble all over town! The Gems told me not to play around with it, but I did anyway, and they’re gonna be sooooo mad when they find out-”
“So don’t tell ‘em.”
“Huh?” Steven blinked, surprised.
“Look, kid,” Stan began, crossing his arms. “If you don’t want the Gems to grind your gears over this, then all you gotta do is clean up the mess you made before they can ever find out about it. From there, it’s as easy as lying to them for the rest of your life.”
“I don’t want to lie to them!” Steven protested.
“But you’re ok with them lying to you, right?” Stan countered with a raised eyebrow.
“That’s what I keep saying,” Dipper muttered, averting the glance Steven sent his way.
“Besides,” Stan continued. “If Mabel keeps at it like she is, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about these little freaks for much longer.”
He nodded over to Mabel, who was in the midst of beating another light monster into oblivion with her trusty rock. “Bam! Pow!” she let out a spirited shout with each successive strike. “You light guys may be really sparkly, and you’re so bright that you may sorta hurt my eyes if I stare at you too long, but you’re no match for the power of MABEL!”
“You know… Mr. Pines does have a point,” Connie said to Steven and Dipper. “These light monsters aren’t really as tough as they look–I think we could take them if we all teamed up. If we can track the rest of them down and defeat them all quickly enough-”
“Then the Gems will never have to know about any of this!” Dipper finished with a small, but growing smile. “And even if they do, they’ll be so impressed when we’re the ones who end up stopping them and saving the town all on our own. It’ll be-”
“A quest!” Steven cut in, stars in his eyes. “A magical quest! Four heroes, coming together to make a super strong, super secret team!”
“Yeah!” Mabel tossed her rock aside after finishing another one of the indigo monsters off. She rushed over, pulling the others into a tight hug. “We’ve been on like, two whole magical adventures this summer so far. So if there’s anyone who knows how to deal with something like this, it’s us, obviously.”
“Hm… you know, this seems like the kind of dangerous thing a responsible guardian wouldn’t want you doing,” Stan noted before ultimately shrugging. “Good thing I’m an uncle. Have fun, don’t break any bones, and don’t get arrested. ‘Cause I ain’t paying any hospital bills or bail if you do.”
With that, Stan turned and headed back inside the shack, leaving the kids to finish off the indigo monsters with no real supervision, much less help. Not that they really needed it anyway. Only a few stragglers were left thanks to Mabel, who was just as quick to reclaim her rock and take care of the rest. Within a matter of minutes, the shack’s yard was clear of light monsters, and as she knocked out the last of them, the Prism suddenly flashed in the same shade of indigo. Unsure of what else to do, Steven held the artifact up, watching with wide-eyed wonder as countless scattered light particles surged back into it.
“Whoa…” he stared down at the Prism as the others gathered around him. “Did we… do something right?”
“Looks like it,” Dipper said. “Maybe once we beat all of the same-colored monsters, they go back inside the Prism where they belong.”
“If I remember right, the bigger monster split into seven different colors,” Connie recounted. “If we just beat one of them, that still leaves six more to find.”
“Aw, that’ll be easy-peasy!” Mabel grinned, confident. “Those little indigo guys were total push-overs. I bet the rest of them will be too.”
“Even if they are,” Dipper countered doubtfully. “We should at least try to go into this whole, uh… ‘quest’ thing prepared. We’re gonna need some weapons or some sort of gear or”-
“Yo, dudes!”
“Soos!” the kids happily greeted the handyman as he emerged from the other side of the shack.
“I couldn’t help but overhear that you guys are going on an epic magical quest, is that right?” he asked, curious.
“Yep!” Steven nodded. “We’re gonna save the town! Again!”
“Right on,” Soos offered the group a supportive thumbs up. “You know, if you dudes are in need of some super cool hero gear, I think I can hook you up.”
“Whoa, really?” Mabel asked excitedly. “Thanks, Soos!”
“No prob, hambone,” Soos opened the door to the gift shop, motioning for the kids to follow him inside. “Now, if you’ll just step into my office, I’ll get you suited up with everything you need.”
“Um, Soos? Your ‘office’ is a cleaning closet…” Connie pointed out with a frown as they all gathered around it. The tiny closet was packed with typical cleaning supplies and assorted tools, none of which looked like it would do much good against the light monsters, as much as Soos was convinced it could.
“I know, pretty cool, right?” Soos said with a proud grin. “Go nuts, dudes. You can pick out anything you want to fight off those light guys.”
“Well, I already know what I want!” Steven eagerly dove in first. He pulled out, of all things, a metal trash can lid, holding it out defensively in front of him. “It’s just like my real shield! Ya know, just… a little less magical.”
“Aw, heck yeah!” Mabel pulled herself out of the box she’d been digging through. “Check it out, you guys! Boxing gloves!” She readily slipped them on, throwing a few playful punches at the open air. “What were these doing in here, Soos?”
“Oh, they probably belong to Mr. Pines,” Soos said. “I’m sure he won’t mind if you use ‘em though.”
“Yay! I’m gonna beat the light right outta those monsters!” When Mabel swung her fist again, this time it caught her brother on the side of his face. While it hadn’t been a particularly hard blow, it was enough to make Dipper stumble back as he rubbed his suddenly sore cheek.
“Ow! Mabel!” he fussed, shooting her a frustrated glare.
“Whoops, sorry!” Mabel let out a flustered laugh. “Guess I don’t know my own strength.”
“Hm…” Connie picked through the closest’s contents next. “Oh! This will work.” She held out an iron crowbar, giving it a small, experimental swing–far enough away that it wouldn’t hit anyone.
“Whoa, that’s like, a legitimate weapon,” Dipper said, impressed. “Do you have anything else like that in there for me, Soos?”
“Let’s see…” he shuffled through one of the closet’s upper shelves. “Well, I got this air pump in case you need to inflate any pool floaties, an extension cord in case you gotta plug something in… Oh, and this broom.”
“In case you want to try sweeping the light monster away,” Mabel elbowed her brother teasingly.
“...I guess if there aren’t any other options,” Dipper sighed, defeated. “I’ll take the broom.”
“Good choice,” Soos nodded in approval as he handed it over.
“Looks like we’re all ready to set out on our adventure!” Steven proclaimed as he secured his “shield” behind his back.
“Oh, one more thing, dudes,” Soos stopped the kids short as he rummaged through the back of the closet. “It’s dangerous to go alone, so take this!”
He presented a backpack to the group, one that Steven recognized the moment he saw it. “My cheeseburger backpack!” he happily took it, hugging it tight. “I was wondering where this was! I thought I lost it!”
“You left it here a few weeks ago,” Soos explained, grinning. “Mr. Pines told me to just toss it out, but I knew how much you like it, so I figured I’d hold onto it for you.”
“Aw, thanks so much, Soos!” Steven gave him a grateful hug. “We can keep the Prism in this so it’ll stay safe and sound. Now we’re really ready to get this adventure started!”
“Yeah!” Dipper, Mabel, and Connie cheered, raising their makeshift weapons high.
Steven joined them in striking a brazen pose, their mission more than clear. With six colors to reclaim and an entire town to save, it was certainly a daunting task. But with their new “weapons” in hand, they were more than ready to face it. They’d stand strong against this mysterious new threat, and best of all, they’d do it together as a team.
“Let’s attack the light!”
“Ok, so before we start, there’s one thing I think we all need to agree on,” Dipper said as the group began making their way toward town. “This is all Mabel’s fault.”
“Whaaaat?” Mabel asked, aghast. “No, it isn’t!”
“Oh, so you weren’t the one who wanted to take the Prism out of its case and play around with it then?” Dipper retorted dryly.
“...Yeah, ok, I see your point,” Mabel sighed. “But how was I supposed to know all this would happen?”
“It’s not your fault, Mabel, it’s mine ,” Steven spoke up, frowning guiltily. “I was the one who let all of the monsters out of the Prism in the first place–even if it was an accident. But I should have just given it back to the Gems instead of messing around with it. No wonder they don’t bring me along on more missions…” He stole a sorrowful glance back at the temple as it towered over the trees behind them. “I just mess everything up…”
“Aw, Steven…” Connie placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “That’s not true and you know it. It doesn’t matter whose fault this was; all that matters is that we’re trying to fix it. And we’re going to fix it, right guys?” She asked the twins.
“Yeah!” they soundly agreed.
“...Yeah…” Steven allowed himself a small, warm smile at this, though it quickly fell as they approached the Big Donut. “Um… speaking of things that need fixing…”
The first signs of trouble were clear just from looking at the convenience store’s exterior. Its large front window had been shattered, allowing the kids to peer through to see the chaos unfolding inside. Violet light monsters meandered about, ransacking shelves, tearing apart displays, and antagonizing the pair of employees who were forced to stand on top of the counter just to avoid them.
“Oh no!” Steven cried. “Lars! Sadie! Are you guys ok?!”
“Oh, great ,” Lars deadpanned. “I thought these freaky little pests were bad enough, but now Steven’s here too. Just what we need… Ow!” He winced when Sadie hit him with one of the donuts she was tossing at the light monsters in a futile attempt at fending them off.
“Don’t be rude!” she scolded. “Sorry, Steven, but we can’t sell you any donuts right now. We’re… kind of in the middle of a situation right now, if you couldn’t already tell.”
“Don’t worry!” Steven pulled his ‘shield’ out, and the others followed suit with their own makeshift weapons. “We’re here to help! Let’s go!”
“Wait, we’re just gonna get in there and start fighting them?” Dipper asked, suddenly feeling unprepared. “Right now?”
“Well, we can’t wait until later!” Mabel shrugged. Just like before, she was the first to rush into the fray, boxing gloves equipped as she landed a hearty punch to the nearest violet monster. Steven quickly joined her, tossing his trash can lid at the monsters closest to Sadie and Lars, dazing them long enough for Connie to come in with her crowbar to finish them off.
With what he knew was the weakest weapon of the lot, Dipper hesitated to get in on the action, until a handful of encroaching monsters left him with no other choice. When one of them jumped at him, he impulsively took a swing at it, hitting it hard enough to send it flying into the nearby freezer. Two more followed soon after, colliding into each other and bursting into nothing more than light particles after they crashed through the freezer’s glass doors.
“Yeah!” Steven cheered as he ran by. “Way to go, Dipper!”
“Heh, thanks, Steven,” Dipper returned with a small, bashful smile.
“Just a few more left!” Connie called as she brought her crowbar down on another monster. “If only we could finish them all off at once somehow…”
“Oh! I know!” Mabel’s eyes lit up with a sudden, daring idea. “Let’s tip the donut case over on ‘em!”
“Tip the what over?” Lars and Sadie barked in equal alarm.
“I hate to sacrifice so many delicious donuts, but alas, it’s for the greater good,” Steven sighed. “Everyone! Get behind the case and push as hard as you can!”
“Steven, wait-” Sadie attempted to protest, but it was already too late. As the remaining violet monsters charged after them, the kids pushed their collective weight against the donut case as hard as they possibly could. It proved enough to send the case, donuts and all, toppling over onto the monsters, crushing each of them completely. Steven wasted no time pulling the Prism out of his backpack, watching with a smile as the violet light returned to it. A quick and painless end to the second leg of their magical quest.
Well, mostly painless.
“I can’t believe it,” Dipper said, amazed. “We actually did it!”
“Yeah, we did!” Steven exclaimed, just as excited. “First the Mystery Shack, and now the Big Donut–we’re saving all of the best spots in Gravity Falls today!”
“Saved?” Lars scoffed as he clumsily climbed off the counter. It wasn’t lost on Sadie when he made no effort to help her down. “Between those dumb purple monsters and you and your friends coming in here swinging around all that garbage, the place is completely wrecked!”
That much was true. Even besides the overturned and largely busted donut case, snacks were strewn all over the floor, cups and hot coffee spilled next to the broken freezer windows. The kids shared an apprehensive glance, knowing they were responsible for most of this disaster. Unlike Lars, however, Sadie didn’t let any of them feel too guilty about it for long.
“Don’t listen to him,” she shook her head. “You guys did save our butts. Even if the execution was… a little messy.”
“Speaking of messes,” Lars said, scowling. “You four better clean this one! ‘Cause I’m sure as heck not gonna.”
“Oh yeah,” Connie frowned as she looked over the ruinous state of the store again. “We probably should help tidy this up-”
“There’s no time!” Mabel cut in. “We’ve gotta find and beat the rest of those light guys before the Gems can find out, remember?”
“Oh, right…” Connie rubbed the back of her neck. “Um… Maybe after we’re done with that?”
“Thanks, you guys, but don’t worry about it,” Sadie assured. “It sounds like you guys are gonna be busy tracking more of those monsters down. So here,” she reached into the case behind her, dropping four donuts into a bag that she handed off to Steven. “Why don’t you take these for the road? On the house, as thanks for saving us.”
“Aw, yeah!” Mabel exclaimed. “Free donuts!”
“Wow, thanks, Sadie!” Steven smiled as he passed the bag around to the others. “Are you sure you don’t need any help right now?”
“Nah,” Sadie waved her hand. “We’ve got it covered.”
“Speak for yourself,” Lars took a seat behind the counter, reclining back as he scrolled through his phone.
“Yeah, no,” Sadie roughly tossed a rag his way. “You’re helping.”
“Tch, I didn’t make this mess,” Lars sneered. “Why should I help clean it up?”
“Because you work here!”
“So do you.”
“I’m not cleaning all this up on my own, Lars.”
“Then I guess it’s not getting cleaned.”
“Ugh! Why do you have to be so lazy all the time?!”
“Why do you have to be such a nag?!”
“I’m not nagging. You’d know if I was nagging.”
“Oh, I do know… that you’re nagging right now!”
The two only continued to argue from there, leaving the kids with little else to do but stand by and awkwardly watch. At least until Dipper spoke up to say what they were all thinking. “Uh… we should probably go…”
“Right.”
“Yep.”
“Agreed.”
Without any further ado, they quietly retreated out of the store, leaving its employees to continue duking it out. With five colors left to find, there was still plenty of ground to cover and plenty more monsters to defeat. But if the skirmish at the Big Donut was any indication, they were off to a decent start. Only time would tell if they’d be able to keep that momentum up as they fully headed into town.
“Alright, you guys,” Dipper began as they made their way down Main Street. “We’ve got to keep a sharp eye out for any more light monsters. For all we know, they could be anywhere, causing all sorts of damage, attacking innocent people or-”
“Or having an epic dance party in the park!”
“Huh?” the others turned where Mabel was pointing. There in the nearby park, a crowd of green light monsters was spinning and jumping about. A large group of teens surrounded them, strangely cheering them on as if they continued to “dance”. While the kids didn’t recognize most of the teens, there was one familiar face among them they all knew as soon as they saw her.
“Wendy!” they called, running over to her.
“Oh, hey, dorks,” she offered them a friendly wave. “You guys here for the show too?”
“Show?” Connie asked, confused.
“Yeah, these weird little green guys just showed up here while me and my friends were chilling,” Wendy explained. “Oh, by the way–hey, you guys!” She called to the rest of the group before turning back to the kids. “I want you to meet my friends. We have Lee and Nate…” The two teens chuckled as they playfully punched each other on the arms. “Tambry…”
“Hey,” Tambry muttered as she kept her focus down at her phone.
“Thompson, who once ate a run-over waffle for 50 cents…”
“Don’t tell them that!” Thompson cried, embarrassed.
“Jenny…”
“What’s up?” Jenny asked with a cool grin.
“Buck…”
“Yo,” Buck greeted, relaxed.
“Sour Cream…”
“How goes it?” Sour Cream nodded, smiling..
“And Robbie,” Wendy finished “You can probably figure him out.”
“Yeah, I’m the guy who spray painted the water tower,” Robbie said, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets.
“Oh, you mean the big muffin?” Dipper asked.
“Um, it’s a giant explosion,” Robbie corrected pointedly.
At this, everyone took a glance at the water tower rising over the trees. “Heh, it kinda does look like a muffin,” Nate agreed with a laugh.
Robbie let out an indignant huff as he shot all four of the kids a bitter look. “So what?” he asked Wendy. “Do you, like, babysit these dweebs or something?”
“Come on, Robbie,” Wendy rolled her eyes. “Dipper and Mabel are my pals from work, and Steven and Connie like to hang out at the shack with them. Speaking of hanging out,” she smiled as she turned back to the kids. “You guys should totally join us.”
Aside from Robbie, the other teens largely agreed. “Yeah, these little green dudes are nuts ,” Lee chuckled, pulling out his phone to record them.
“They’ve got some serious moves,” Buck noted.
“I could totally rave to this,” Sour Cream proceeded to do exactly that, pulling his jacket off and waving above his head as the other teens cheered him on.
“Whoa, Sour Cream!” Jenny laughed. “Don’t get too crazy there.”
“Um, I’m glad you guys are having fun,” Steven piped up, nervous. “But those things are actually really dangerous light monsters. We’ve gotta do something about them before they-”
“Whoa, Steven, chill,” Wendy cut in. “Look at those little guys; they’re just vibing. They’re not hurting anyone at all.”
“Hm…” Mabel stepped in closer to one of the monsters, giving it an experimental poke. “You know what, yeah! I don’t think these monsters are like the others; they just wanna have a little fun–OW!” She shrieked when the monster suddenly latched its claws into her hair, pulling hard. “Ow! Ow! Ow!” she panicked, trying her best to get a swing in at the monster, only to miss every time as it continued yanking aggressively on her hair. “Ok! I was wrong! This isn’t fun at all! Seriously, ow !”
“Mabel!” Steven, Dipper, and Connie all cried in worried unison. Likewise, a wave of sudden alarm washed over the teens, though none of them really knew what to do to help. That was why Steven leapt into action first, rushing forward with his trash can lid ready to strike. He didn’t get far, however, before another monster tripped him up, sending his weapon flying out of his hands before another creature pinned him securely against the ground.
“Oh no!” Connie exclaimed, already raising her crowbar high to attack before Dipper stopped her.
“Connie, I have a plan,” he said, resolute. “Follow my lead.”
She nodded, watching as he ran over to the nearest monster before batting it her way with his broom. Connie caught it with a brutal swing of her crowbar, swiftly defeating it before they moved onto the next creature. The teens could only stand by and watch the pair in awe as they worked their way through the crowd, quickly freeing Steven and Mabel alike before any further harm could come to them.
In the midst of this fray, one of the monsters happened to wander closer to Robbie, whose usual moodiness was completely lost as he scrambled up onto a park bench to avoid it. He let out a frightened scream as the creature tried climbing up after him, only for it to be knocked away just in time thanks to Dipper.
As if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, Robbie stiffened when he heard Thompson snort out a laugh on the ground beside him. “You scream like a girl, man.”
“Shut up, Thompson,” Robbie punched him in the arm as he sullenly stepped off the bench.
Dipper and Connie continued to lead the charge against the remaining green monsters, working off each other as they timed their swings just right. As the last of the creatures reared up against them, Dipper swung low, using his broom to knock the monster off its feet. Connie charged in next, bringing her crowbar down upon its head with enough force to put an end to it. As its form dissipated into light particles, Steven pulled the Prism out and held it high, allowing another color to safely return from whence it came.
“Not bad,” Connie offered Dipper a wry grin as they came back together. “It’s surprising what you can do with that broom.”
“Well, it’s no crowbar, but it works,” he smirked as he slung it over his shoulder. “Still, that was a pretty mean spike you gave it there at the end.”
“Thanks,” Connie chuckled. “Turns out tennis practice is good for something after all. I can show you some moves sometime, if you’d like.”
“I… may have to take you up on that offer,” Dipper said, rubbing the back of his neck. Fortunately, the sudden hint of red filling his face went unnoticed as Mabel rushed over to pull them both into a tight, celebratory hug.
“Oh my gosh, you guys, that was so cool !” she exclaimed. “You both were like bam! And boosh! And wa-pow! And then you took those green guys out like it was nothing!”
“Yeah, you guys are like total heroes,” Wendy added with a bright thumbs up.
“Real pros,” Buck added with a cool nod.
“Absolute bosses!” Lee and Nate added, pumping their fists.
“And already on your way to trending,” Tambry turned her phone to show off the video she’d posted of the battle.
“Heh, it was nothing, really,” Dipper let out a flustered laugh, unable to stifle a blush this time. “We were just-”
A sudden, startled scream broke through the air, quickly catching everyone’s attention as it cut through the celebration. “What was that?” Mabel asked.
“Sounds like more trouble…” Connie noted with a frown.
“I think it came from over near the arcade,” Steven already began leading the way in that direction, urging his friends to follow. “Come on, you guys!”
The teens waved them off as they hurried out of the park, though a long beat of silence passed between them all as they looked to the spot where the monsters had once been. “So, uh… what do we do now?” Thompson asked, clearing his throat.
“...Keep raving?” Jenny suggested with a shrug.
“Keep raving,” Sour Cream agreed as he broke out dancing again.
The other teens readily rallied onto this impromptu rave, even without any of the monsters around to add onto the “vibes”. “Go! Go! Go! Go!”
Even from a distance, the kids were able to tell that something was amiss at Funland Arcade. Several patrons were fleeing the establishment, crying out in fear as Mr. Smiley desperately tried to calm his paying customers down before he lost them entirely. “H-hold on there, folks! There’s nothin’ to worry about! Just a bit of a… infestation problem. B-but that shouldn’t stop ya’ll from enjoying all of the great games Funland Arcade has to offer!”
“Hey, Mr. Smiley!” Steven called as he and the others ran over. “What’s going on?”
“I’ll tell ya what’s goin’ on!” Mr. Smiley maintained his usual wide grin, despite the worry leaking into it. “Those little orange fellas are makin’ a mess of my arcade!” He pointed to said “orange fellas”, who, unsurprisingly, turned out to be a new group of light monsters. They’d already infiltrated much of the arcade, climbing atop game cabinets and raiding the prize counter without any sort of rhyme or reason. In the process, they continued scaring more and more customers off by the minute, much to Mr. Smiley’s growing frustration. “No!” he cried, running back into the arcade. “You little punks! Stop ragin’ on Teens of Rage ! Don’t fight on top of Fight Fighters ! And quit beatin’ up Meat Beat Mania !”
“Looks like we got here just in time,” Connie said as she brandished her weapon.
“Let’s go save video gaming as we know it!” Mabel boldly proclaimed.
Before any of the kids could charge in, however, they stopped short as someone else beat them to it. “Oh, hey, it’s Onion!” Steven said as the younger boy silently passed them by to head for the arcade. “Uh, Onion, buddy? You probably shouldn’t go in there. There’s a bunch of monsters, and it’s pretty dangerous. We’re gonna-”
Steven stopped short when Onion glanced back over his shoulder at the group. His expression remained neutral as he showed off the baseball bat none of them had seen arrive with.
“Whoa, where’d he get that?” Mabel asked, confused.
“Wait, he’s not going to-” Connie cut herself off with a surprised gasp. The others echoed it as they watched Onion get to work inside the arcade. From the very beginning, it wasn’t a pretty sight. In fact, it was downright gruesome, to the point that the kids found themselves extremely glad that they weren’t the light monsters taking the brunt of such a brutal beating.
“Uh… on second thought…” Dipper began stiffly. “I think Onion’s got this one covered.”
The others could only nod, wincing away from such an indescribable display of violence. The fact that it was all coming from someone even younger and smaller than any of them certainly wasn’t lost on any of them. If anything, Onion defeated the wave of orange monsters far faster than any of them could have, and in no time at all, another color found its way back to the Prism, without any need for their intervention at all.
The group did their best to try and forget what they’d just witnessed as they continued further on into town. It wasn’t long before another panicked wail rose through the air, a rather pathetic one at that. They quickly spotted its source just a bit further down the street, as a horde of blue light monsters surrounded Toby Determined just outside of the Gravity Falls Gossiper ’s office.
“Gobbling goose feathers!” he cried as the monsters inched ever closer. “Somebody, help!” He waited for said help, only for several people to pass him by without so much as a second glance. “Anybody, help!” he tried again, only to be met with similar, unsympathetic results. “Aw, shucks…”
“What do you guys think?” Steven turned to the others. “Should we help him?”
“Eh?” Dipper shrugged. Mabel and Connie did the same, not quite compelled to lend their aid, though they couldn’t really place why. In the end, though, they didn’t have to, at least not at first.
A loud, rallying cry rang through the air, signaling the arrival of a certain pair coming in from above. They leapt from their perch on the newspaper office’s roof, the larger of the two landing heavily on several of the light monsters, cushioning her fall and wiping them out all in one fell swoop. She caught her companion, who made use of her water gun to repel several more monsters in turn, even though it did little in the way of actually defeating them.
“Wait…” Connie paused, surprised as she recognized the duo. “Isn’t that-”
“Candy and Grenda!” Mabel exclaimed, excited. “Hi, girls!”
“Heeeeey, Mabel!” Grenda returned as she elbow-slammed a light monster.
“Hello, Connie!” Candy added amidst dousing even more creatures. “Are you all out performing acts of vigilante justice too?”
“Um… sort of?” Dipper said, shrugging.
“We’re saving the town by fighting light monsters!” Steven proclaimed, raising his trash can lid high.
“Oo! Like an epic quest!” Grenda grinned as she kept another monster pinned with her foot.
“Exactly!” Mabel nodded. “Oh, uh, speaking of that quest,” she slipped her boxing gloves back on as several of the blue monsters began scampering their way. “We should probably get back to it!”
None of the others argued as they leapt into the fray, joining Candy and Grenda in battling the blue monsters. They managed to rescue Toby, allowing him a chance to flee back into his office, screaming frantically all the while. Even so, the kids remained outside, working together as a larger team to work their way through the crowd of creatures. Mabel and Grenda plowed through their foes, swinging punches and kicks in any and every direction to send the monsters flying. Steven used his “shield” to cover Candy as she sprayed the surrounding creatures, stunning them long enough for Dipper and Connie to come in and clock them with their own weapons.
As they fought, a small crowd gathered at a safe distance to watch the action. That crowd erupted into applause when the kids all teamed up to take out the final blue monster with a final, bombastic blow, ending another threat and sending yet another scattered color flying back into its proper place in the Prism. It should have been no different than all of the other colors they’d managed to collect so far, except…
“...y… o….u…”
“Huh?” Steven started, staring down at the prism as it briefly flashed blue. He could have sworn he’d just heard a soft, distant voice, trying and failing to speak to him, and yet…
He quickly shook his head to clear it in favor of joining in on the celebration around him instead. A round of cheers also sounded from the kids as they exchanged smiles and high fives over a job well done. “That was great, you guys!” Mabel said with a satisfied grin. “Taking out these light guys is even easier when they’re more of us!”
“Maybe you two should join us,” Connie suggested to Candy and Grenda. “We only have two more colors to find before the town is safe, but we could always use the extra help.”
“Will we get to enact even more vigilante justice?” Candy asked.
“Um… sure?” Steven said, exchanging a confused glance with Dipper and Connie.
“Then count us in!” the pair heartily exclaimed. Before they could properly join the group, however, Toby poked his head out of his office, briefly glancing around to make sure the coast was clear.
“Bravo!” he exclaimed, grateful. “You all sure saved my bacon! Thanks to you, this lovable face is here to stay!” He flashed a wide, awkward grin, not noticing the cringes rippling through the spectating crowd as they quickly dispersed. “Mind if I grab a quick interview with the town heroes for the Gravity Falls Gossiper ?”
“Yes!” Mabel readily exclaimed. “I’ve always wanted to make the front page headline in a newspaper!”
“Me too!” Steven chimed in, stars in his eyes. “We’re gonna be world-famous! Or, y’know, town-famous, which is just as good!”
“Um, we don’t have time for this, remember?” Dipper stepped between the pair. “There’s only two colors left. We’re almost done, which means we can’t afford to get distracted, especially not now when we’re so close to the end.”
“Ugh, I hate it when you’re right…” Mabel heaved a disappointed sigh.
“We’ll do the interview!” Grenda boisterously volunteered herself and Candy.
“Fielding the press is an important part of vigilante justice, after all,” Candy nodded astutely.
“Aw, really?” Mabel smiled as she pulled the pair into a hug. “Thanks, you guys. You’re the best!”
“Um… yeah. How… thoughtful?” Connie let out a small laugh at the irony of it all. Of the pair who had only had a small part in their work was taking a good bit of the credit. Not that any of them minded, however; they had much bigger things to worry about right now than their time in the limelight anyway.
At that, Toby launched into his round of questions, all of which Candy and Grenda were more than happy to answer. Not wanting to get in the way of the interview, the others took their leave. As they continued on their way, however, Steven pulled the Prism out of his backpack, staring down at it curiously. Thoughts of that strange voice he’d heard when they’d defeated the blue light still lingered at the back of his mind, to the point that he couldn’t put them away so easily. Not this time.
“Hey, guys?” he spoke up, cutting through Dipper, Mabel, and Connie’s conversation. “When we got the blue light back just now, did any of you hear anything… weird?”
They exchanged a curious glance, shaking their heads before turning back to Steven. “Um… no?” Connie raised an eyebrow. “Did you?”
“I… maybe?” Steven looked down at the Prism once more. “It sounded sort of like a voice, but… I couldn’t really make out what it was saying. I think… it came from the blue light.”
“From the monsters?” Dipper questioned, incredulous. “But… we’ve been fighting them all day and we know they can’t talk. And if they could, what would they even have to say?”
“Other than ‘blarg, we want to destroy the town because we’re eeeeevil’!” Mabel threw on a deep, villainous voice to prove her point.
“Evil…” Steven echoed, his frown deepening. As it rested in his hands, the Prism looked so simple, so unassuming. And yet, the Gems had made their warnings about its power more than clear, power that they’d found themselves pitted against all day long. The Prism and the creatures it created were dangerous, there was no doubt about it. But evil? Could they really be called that if they were just acting on instinct? If they were simply being the army they were designed to be?
Could they really be any worse than the one who had unleashed them all upon an innocent town in the first place?
“Look alive, everyone,” Connie broke through his thoughts just before they could become too overwhelming. “Monsters, dead ahead.”
“Ooh, and they’re yellow this time,” Mabel added. Sure enough, a pack of bright yellow light monsters was besetting not just Gravity Fries, but the family that operated it. While Mr. Fryman tried fending them off with a potato peeler, it was clear the monsters weren’t even remotely intimidated by it. Peedee, meanwhile, peeked anxiously over the counter, refusing to come out to help his father confront such immense danger. His brother Ronaldo, on the other hand, was in the thick of it, though he wasn’t offering much help either. Instead, he had his phone in hand, eagerly recording every second of the monster attack with a practically manic grin.
“I can’t believe it!” he exclaimed, beside himself with excitement. “These otherworldly creatures are undeniable proof… that the sneople are real !”
“Sneople?” Fryman glanced over at his son. “Ronaldo, what the heck are you on about this time?”
“The snake people , Dad!” Ronaldo reiterated insistently. “They control our government at the highest levels! Look!” He pulled a dollar out of his pocket, pointing at the symbols on the back of it. “The snake represents their hold on our country, the triangle represents their all-seeing gaze, the diamond represents their underground mines, or their sharp teeth… the details aren’t important. They pit us mammals against each other with elections, sports, and anime message boards. We spend so much time fighting over 'dubs' or 'subs' that we miss the big picture! And these ,” he motioned down to a yellow light monster beside him. “Must be their spies! It only makes sense!”
The kids paused their approach only long enough to listen to Ronaldo’s unhinged rant. They spared a confused look at each other, none of them sure what to make about… whatever it was they just heard.
“Uh… is that guy crazy?” Dipper asked, baffled.
“Nah, he’s just Ronaldo,” Steven shrugged.
“Um, do you guys need some help?” Connie called to the Frymans.
“Yes!” Fryman and Peedee cried. Ronaldo, on the other hand, was far too engrossed in filming to even notice.
Even so, the kids didn’t hesitate to throw themselves into another fight. Unlike most of the other light monsters, the yellow creatures actually made something of an effort to dodge their attacks. Instead of hitting a monster, Connie’s crowbar met solid pavement, and Steven ended up tossing his trash can lid into the wall of Gravity Fries instead of any of the creatures. When Dipper and Mabel were met with similar results, they decided it was time to switch up their tactics a bit.
“We need some way to lure them all together so we can take them out without them slipping away from us…” Connie mused, catching her breath.
“Oh! I know!” Steven hurried over to the counter. “Hey, Peedee!” he peered over it, finding the boy still cowering just out of sight. “Gimme the bits!”
“What?” Peedee sat up, confused. “Why?”
“The bits!” Steven cheered without elaborating. “The bits! The bits!”
“Ok! Ok!” Peedee gave up and got up. He carefully scooped the leftover fry crumbs from the bottom of one of the fryer baskets, boxing them up before handing them over to Steven. “What are you even gonna do with these anywa-”
His unfinished question was answered when Steven suddenly threw the entire box of fry bits onto the street in front of the store. Intrigued, the yellow monsters began flocking over to the fallen food, less with the intent to eat it and more to merely investigate it. As distracted as they were, it allowed the kids the opening they needed for their attacks to actually land this time.
“This is working… surprisingly well,” Dipper noted between swings of his broom.
“Ha!” Steven grinned, throwing his shield down again. “No one can resist the bits!”
Between the four of them, it didn’t take too long to take most of the newly-surrounded monsters out. One of the pack, however, proved to be a bit more clever than the rest. It steered clear of the fry bits, maneuvering to make its move on the kids from behind. Mabel was the first to catch it in the act, though it swerved out of the way of her first several punches. In much of the same way, it veered right under swings of Connie’s crowbar and Dipper’s broom. It was nearly in the clear, until Steven managed to corner it against the shop’s nearest wall.
“My, aren’t you a tricky one?” he asked with a wry smirk. What he wasn’t expecting, however, was for the monster to answer him.
“...W…why…”
“Huh?” he started, his shield going slack in his grip. “You… you really did just talk, just like the blue monsters before!”
“Steven, hurry!” Dipper urged. “Finish it off before it can get away again!”
“Wait!” Steven glanced back at the others. “I think it's trying to communicate!”
He turned back to the last yellow monster, only to find that it was already too late. As the creature made a leap towards him, Mabel caught it with a heavy punch before it could even touch him. It proved enough to not only knock it out of existence, but send the scattered yellow light particles flying back toward the Prism. Which meant that whatever it had been trying to say would forever go unheard.
“Whoops,” Mabel tensed at the disappointed look on Steven’s face. “Uh… Sorry.”
“It’s ok,” he sighed, putting on a small smile. “I mean, at least there’s only one color left to find, right?”
“NO!” Ronaldo suddenly cried, crumbling to his knees. “What have you DONE?!”
“Um… we defeated the monsters?” Connie said.
“And you saved Gravity Fries,” Mr. Fryman added with a grateful smile. “I can’t thank you kids enough. Next time any of you stop by, fries–and, uh, ‘the bits’--are on the house. My treat.”
“Wow! Thanks, Mr. Fryman!” Steven beamed. His smile quickly fell as Ronaldo let out another plaintiff wail behind him.
“I was just about to start livestreaming too!” he mourned, his phone slipping out of his hand. “How am I supposed to dissect one of those things to uncover the secrets of the sneople now?!”
“Um… Ronaldo?” Steven frowned as he pulled the Prism out of his pack. “Those monsters didn’t come from the, uh, ‘sneople’. They came from this-”
“Oo!” Ronaldo snatched the Prism out of his hands before he could even try to stop him. “Yes, of course! Why didn’t I think of this before? I know exactly what this is!”
“Oh really?” Dipper asked, deadpan.
“This isn’t the work of the sneople after all…” Ronaldo turned the Prism over, inspecting it closely. “It’s actually polymorphic sentient rocks! They’re here to hollow out the Earth! It’s part of the Great Diamond Authority! They’ll take on any form, like those yellow monsters! You can read all about it… on my blog!”
He held his phone up to the kids, allowing Connie to read the title of said blog aloud: “‘Keep Gravity Falls Weird’?”
“Oo, you have three whole followers already?” Mabel asked, impressed. “Not bad!”
“Now all I’ve gotta do is break this magical pyramid wide open and the truth will finally be revealed!” Ronaldo proclaimed, holding the Prism high.
“Yeah, that’s not happening,” Dipper took the Prism back from him, handing it back to Steven well before Ronaldo could slam it onto the ground. “We’ve worked too hard to get all of those monsters back into the Prism. We’re not going through it all again, especially not for something as dumb as… this.”
“Nooooo!” Ronaldo cried. He desperately reached for the Prism even as the kids began to move on with it in tow. “My web-sclusive!”
“You have three followers,” Peedee unsympathetically reminded him as he continued crying in defeat. “Calm down.”
The sun was just beginning to set over the town as the kids made another lap through it. Unlike all of the other colors, their search for the final light was proving to be a frustrating challenge. They’d yet to happen upon it by accident or happenstance, and at this rate, it didn’t seem like they were going to before the day came to an end.
“Ugh!” Mabel let out a loud, tired groan as they rounded yet another corner. “This is taking forever ! How hard can it be to find one more silly ol’ light?”
“Maybe we’re just not looking in the right places…” Dipper scanned the town map he’d grabbed from the Big Donut earlier.
“Or…” Steven pondered, his thoughts going back to earlier. “Maybe we’re just not looking in the right way…”
“Steven?” Connie questioned, watching as he stepped up to the front of the group.
“Hey, uh, light monsters?” he cupped his hands around his mouth to project his voice. “It’s me, Steven. You kinda tried talking to me earlier? I know you’d probably rather stay out here instead of going back into the Prism, but… we have to keep Gravity Falls safe. So… if you could just give us a hint about where to find you-”
A flash of bright, red light cut him off as it sparked from the nearby lakeside. The kids ran over to take a look, and sure enough, several light monsters were scampering aimlessly across the empty shore. “They actually… listened to you?” Dipper offered Steven a skeptical glance.
“I think so,” Steven nodded, smiling.
“Alright, gang,” Mabel began, baring her fists for the fight ahead. “This is it. It’s time for the super climactic final battle! Let’s get ‘em!”
“Get ‘em! Get ‘em!” Tyler Cutebiker excitedly echoed from the sidewalk as kids charged out toward the lake.
The red light monsters noticed their approach well in advance, and they raced forward to meet it every bit as aggressively. They clashed somewhere in the middle of the shore, and though the kids held their own well, it was clear from the very start that this encounter was going to be different from the rest.
The first bad sign was when the red monsters resisted any of their strikes. They took beatings from their makeshift weapons far too well, all while doling plenty of attacks out of their own. The kids found themselves knocked to the sandy shore more times than they could count, though thankfully, the worst injuries they sustained were only minor bumps and bruises. After getting hit again, Steven rolled to the ground, unaware that his cheeseburger backpack had zipped open in the process. Even if he didn’t notice the Prism rolling out of it, the red light monsters certainly did.
A piercing screech rose up from the crowd of creatures as they forced their way past the kids in favor of surrounding the prone Prism. The artifact reacted in turn, flushing in a bright, white glow as it began to hover into the air on its own accord. All the kids could do was worriedly watch as the red monsters took on that same light before they inexplicably began to merge together.
The amorphous mass of light quickly changed its shape into a form the kids were quick to recognize. The menacing white light monster emerged with a fearsome roar, now empowered by the Prism itself resting in the center of its single glowing eye. In claiming the Prism, it had managed to absorb each of the recollected colors, all combining back together to create a creature far more powerful than any the kids had faced thus far.
“Well,” Dipper said, his voice tight with fear. “That’s not good.”
“What do we do now?” Connie asked as she anxiously gripped her crowbar.
“We fight it, duh!” Mabel raised her fists, rushing into the fray first.
“Wait!” Steven warned, but it came too late.
Mabel swung her fist at the white monster’s legs to try and topple it over, only for it to catch her by the arm with one of its large hands. It lifted her up, shrieking furiously, before it tossed her hard toward the lake behind it. Her scream was cut off as she landed in the water, shaken as she hurriedly swam up to the surface. “I’m ok!” she assured the others while wading her way back toward the shore.
While the monster was distracted, Dipper made an attempt at attacking it next. Unfortunately, the creature proved far too sturdy for his already worn broom, and as soon as he so much as struck it, its wooden shaft snapped clean in half. “Aw, man!” he protested, dismayed as he looked down at the remains of his broken weapon. It soon became the least of his worries, however, when the white light monster spun around, kicking him hard in the chest. The blow sent him flying, and Connie was flung in the same direction not long after as the monster snatched her crowbar and cast it off towards the depths of the lake.
Steven spun around with a gasp, nearly following his first impulse to check on the downed pair. He didn’t get a chance though, as the white light monster continued storming toward him with an angry roar that echoed across the entire shore. “H-hold on!” he pleaded with it, unsure of what else he even could do at this point. “We don’t have to fight! I know you’ve been trying to talk to me–and I want to understand you!”
To prove his point, he let his trash can lid fall to the sand beside him, holding his hands up defensively instead. “Please,” his voice wavered somewhere between fear and earnesty. He stole a glance over at his fallen friends, guilt weaving its way through his chest as he thought about how this fight had hurt each of them. About how his recklessness had hurt them. Which was why he had to do whatever it took to make it up to them, to stop this. To save them all. “Just… talk to me. I’ll listen. I promise.”
The monster stilled, staying silent for a moment. Steven wasn’t sure if it could even understand him, much less how he could understand it. But then… once again, in a voice he couldn’t even begin to describe, he heard it speak again, just as he’d asked:
“...a-are you… testing… me…?”
“What?” was all Steven had time to get out before the Gems arrived.
Garnet swept in seemingly out of nowhere, brutally slamming a gauntleted fist into the white monster’s side. Amethyst was next, tossing her whip to entangle the creature’s legs while Pearl tossed a spear straight for its head, clipping through a part of its massive form. The monster screamed, reeling back as it struggled to maintain its balance, but Amethyst held fast, keeping it from moving any further.
“Steven!” Pearl was at his side in seconds to fretfully check him for injuries. “Are you alright?” She worriedly winced when she looked over at Dipper and Connie as Garnet offered her hands to help them up off the ground. At the same time, Mabel kept a wide berth around the monster as she ran past it to rejoin the others. “What in the world is going on?! Is that… the Light Prism?!”
“How’d it get all the way out here?” Amethyst asked, pulling her whip taunt.
“Uh, it’s a funny story,” Mabel let out a forced laugh as she exchanged an uneasy glance with Dipper and Connie. “You guys are totally gonna laugh, trust me; it’s a real side splitter. Ya see, we-”
“We were playing around with the Prism and I accidentally unleashed an entire light army all over town!” Steven blurted out, far too guilty to keep it contained.
“What?” the Gems asked in aghast unison.
“I’m sorry!” he cried, remorseful. “I know you guys said it was dangerous, b-but I just couldn’t help myself! I didn’t mean to cause all this trouble, that’s why we-”
“There will be time to sort all this out later,” Garnet said, turning back to the monster. “Kids, stay back. We’ll handle this.”
“Wait!” Dipper shouted as the Gems leapt into action. “We can help!”
“I’d say you four have already ‘helped’ plenty today,” Pearl shook her head disapprovingly. “Fighting mindless monsters like this isn’t your place; it’s ours. So let us take care of it.”
“But… that monster isn’t mindless!” Steven countered. “It spoke to me, I heard it! Let me just-”
“Ught, Steven!” Amethyst summoned another whip, latching onto him to stop him from running into the fight. “Cut it out already! Do you want that thing to thrash you into next week?”
Steven didn’t answer as he wriggled his way out of the whip. Still, he did as he was told, regrouping with Connie, Dipper, and Mabel as they watched the Gems try and fail to get the upper hand against the light monster. Just like the kids before them, their attacks were largely ineffective; yet another sign that unlike the others, this creature couldn’t simply be beaten through brute strength alone.
“Seriously?” Dipper let out a disgruntled scoff. “Even after everything we went through today, the Gems still have to come to our rescue in the end? How is that fair?!”
“We’ve gotta show them just how heroic we really are!” Mabel proclaimed, pumping her fists. “If we can do that, then I’m sure they’ll let us help them out!”
“But how are we supposed to do that without any weapons?” Connie asked, eyeing the monster worriedly.
“We don’t need weapons,” Steven said with a small, confident smile. “Because we’re not going to fight it.”
“Huh?” the others asked, equally confused.
Steven, however, made his emerging plan more than clear as he climbed atop a nearby rock to give himself some extra height. “Can you guys cover me? Uh, just in case this doesn’t go like I hope it will…”
“Why wouldn’t it?” Dipper asked, concerned.
“Don’t worry, Steven!” Mabel chimed in with a bright thumbs up. “We believe in you!”
Steven nodded his thanks, though his smile didn't last long. He looked up just in time to see the white light monster breaking out of Amethyst’s whip, sending her flying straight into Pearl as they both landed hard in the shallows of the lake. Garnet held up for a little longer, though the monster managed to counter each of her punches perfectly. Amidst this barrage, the monster fixed its lone-eyed gaze on Steven, once again speaking to him a voice apparently only he could hear.
“...sorry… I failed… you…”
“Failed me?” Steven echoed softly. He decided to address the monster–the Prism– directly, hoping it could finally offer him some much-needed answers. “What do you mean ‘failed you’?”
“Who is he talking to?” Pearl muttered to Amethyst.
“I dunno,” she shrugged, just as confused as she was.
“...failed… test…”
“What’s it saying, Steven?” Connie asked.
“Something about… a test?” Steven scratched his head. He steeled himself as he looked back to the Prism, determined to figure this out, before it was too late. “H-hey, it’s ok!” he assured it with a wavering smile. “I… I want to help you!”
The monster stomped back at this, seemingly surprised. Its lost momentum wasn’t lost on Garnet as she glanced back over her shoulder. Upon spotting Steven and the others, it didn’t take her too long to piece together what was going on. “Steven! You’re communicating with it.”
“I’m trying to,” Steven frowned as he hopped off of his rock. He slowly began to approach the monster, and Connie, Dipper, and Mabel followed close behind, just in case. While Amethyst and Pearl let out a pair of fearful gasps, Garnet raised her arm to stop them from halting the kids’ careful approach. Whatever they were doing, whatever Steven was doing, was working .
Or at least, they hoped it was.
“...I’m… sorry…”
“You don’t have to be sorry,” Steven said to the Prism, his brow furrowing. As he inched closer to the monster, it continued shying away from him, as if it were afraid. Of what, exactly, none of the kids had any sort of idea.
“...what… do you… want… from me… master…”
“Wait a minute…” Steven started, his eyes growing wide. “You think… I’m your master?!”
“Ooooh, you know, that does make sense,” Mabel said, nodding.
“What?” Dipper asked, shooting her a puzzled look. “How?”
“Steven was the one who summoned all these light guys when he touched the Prism, right? So if he brought them all out here, then they oughta listen to what he says!”
“But they haven’t been listening to him, or to any of us,” Connie pointed out. “So then… why now…?”
Steven paused for a moment to ponder the exact same thing. All day long, the light creatures had been acting seemingly on their own accord, without any sort of guidance from anything or anyone at all. Their rampage across town had been a largely directionless one, a rampage that saw them randomly attacking whoever or whatever was closest to them without reason, purpose, without cause. Without a leader .
“Pearl!” Steven gasped when the realization struck him. “Didn’t you say that the Prism was used to command an army of light?”
“Well, yes,” Pearl began, frowning. “When powerful Gems held the Prism, they-” She froze, her voice softening as she looked to her fellow Gems with wide, wondering eyes. Could it be…? “Steven…”
“When I touched the Prism,” he continued, keeping his sights set squarely on the white light monster. “The light creatures came out to fight for me, but this whole time we’ve been fighting them! They must’ve been so confused!”
“Which is why they’ve been going so crazy all over town!” Connie added onto his theory. “They didn’t understand why we were attacking them, which led them to lash out.”
Steven shuddered, anxious and remorseful when the Prism almost seemed to back such claims up with a pleading moan. “...master…”
“I’m not your-” he stopped himself just before he could confuse the poor creature even more than he already had. “I-I mean… I know you’re fighting for me, but you don’t have to!” He finally bridged the gap between himself and the white light monster. A soft smile slipped onto his face as he extended a hand out toward it, his fingers gently skimming its surprisingly warm, shimmering surface. “You don’t have to be a weapon!”
“...what… do you… want… me to be…?”
“Whatever you want!” Steven’s smile widened as he offered the best answer–the only answer he could give. “You can be anything !”
Despite this encouragement, the white light stumbled back again, screeching wildly. Its limbs flailed as radiant rays shot out from its form, overtaking the entire lake shore. The Gems and the kids alike were forced to shield their eyes from it all, leaving them in the blind as to what was happening. To the entirely new form the Prism chose to take on next.
When the light cleared, they were all surprised to see that form… was none other than Steven .
And not just one Steven either, but several , all appearing out of thin air as apparitions of soft, glittering light. Each of them wore a wide, cheerful smile, a silent, yet sure sign that the conflict was finally over, that the “battle” had been won.
“Whoa…” Mabel gaped, awestruck. “Look at all the shiny Stevens!”
“This…” Dipper flinched as he gave one of the Light Stevens an experimental poke, only for it to disperse into nothing more than scattered light particles. “Is really weird…”
“Really cool, you mean!” Mabel chuckled, twirling in between the light as it started to spill back to the Prism.
Steven reclaimed the artifact, holding it high to allow the light to willingly return to its rightful home. It flowed back into the Prism calmly, easily, as it loyally followed its “master’s” call for peace. And then, as the last of the light vanished with a soft flourish, the Prism came to rest back within Steven’s hands, ready for the next time he might have need of its power again.
“Steven,” Connie broke the short beat of silence that passed as she placed a hand on his shoulder. “I know I’ve told you this before but… that was incredible.”
“Heh, thanks,” Steven grinned, blushing. He didn’t linger too long in it, however, as he turned to face the Gems, switching his smile out for a sheepish frown. “So, uh… I…” he sighed, holding the Prism up to them. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. The whole town was in danger today, a-and a whole bunch of people almost got hurt, and it was all my fau-”
“It was all our fault.”
Steven stilled, surprised as Connie, Dipper, and Mabel all stepped up beside him. They exchanged a stern nod, one that carried the exact same unspoken message. That for as much as they shared the burden of cleaning the mess they’d made together up, they’d share whatever consequences came after it too. That they were a team, no matter what they had to face, no matter how hard it might be.
No matter what.
At first, none of the Gems said anything. Aside from the frowns they all shared, it was hard to tell what any of them could be thinking, much less what they were going to say. Garnet was the first to open her mouth to speak, but her words were left unheard as someone else suddenly spoke up in her stead.
“Hey, there!”
The shout drew the group’s attention to the sidewalk behind them, where a sizable crowd had gathered at some point. Among the faces in it, the kids recognized more than a few folks they’d helped or been helped by earlier, all sending grateful smiles their way.
“Um… hey, everyone,” Steven offered the group a friendly, yet confused wave. “What’s going on?”
“A lot of us never got a chance to thank you guys,” Sadie explained. “You really bailed the Big Donut out of a lot of trouble earlier.”
“Even if it took us hours to clean up the mess you twerps left behind,” Lars muttered sourly. He quickly changed his tune, however, when Sadie elbowed him hard in the knee. “Ow! Ugh, fine . Thanks , I guess. Or whatever.”
“And the way you guys took out those green guys back at the park?” Wendy added, smirking. “I haven’t been able to get it out of my head all day. It was totally insane.”
“Yeah, you four are wild , man,” Lee nodded.
“Remind us to never tussle with any of you,” Jenny said with a small chuckle.
“Not to mention you saved the premiere source of local news, the Gravity Falls Gossiper !” Toby held up the latest issue, showing a photo he’d somehow snagged of the battle against the blue monsters.
“And got us on the front page!” Candy and Grenda proudly pointed at the newspaper.
“You saved my fry shack-” Mr. Fryman was cut off as his older son angrily jumped in front of him.
“And you ruined my investigation into the trans-dimensional polygonal poltergeists watching over the town from beyond the veil!” Ronaldo griped bitterly.
“I thought you were investigating the ‘sneople’,” Peedee pointed out, rolling his eyes.
“That too!”
The rest of the crowd was quick to drown his unimportant protests out with a ripple of support, including a silent, yet sincere thumbs up from Onion. Unsure of how to really respond to so much gratitude, the kids could only return their smiles bashfully, each of them happy to have helped where they could. The Gems, however, got a different message entirely out of the townsfolks’ hearty appreciation. A message that left them even more surprised with the kids standing before them than they already were.
“You four…” Pearl began, bewildered. “Fought off the rest of the light monsters?”
“Uh, yeah,” Dipper nodded. “That’s what we’ve been doing all day.”
“All by yourselves?” Amethyst asked incredulously. “Whoa, that’s… really hardcore.”
“But… how could you possibly… those monsters are designed to go up against the fiercest of Gem warriors, not a bunch of…” Pearl cleared her throat, picking her next word carefully as to not offend any of them. “Young… humans…”
“It was easy!” Mabel said with a spirited grin. “The four of us teamed up and together, we attacked the light and saved the day!”
While Pearl and Amethyst were still left in awe, Garnet stepped forward. “Playing around with the Light Prism was a very irresponsible thing to do,” she admonished sternly. None of them even tried arguing with her; they’d known from the very beginning just how reckless and foolish their actions had been. And just how disastrous things could have turned out for them, along with the town and everyone in it.
“But…”
Garnet’s stoic facade slowly faded into a small smile, one brimming with pride. “Despite making this mess, the four of you worked your hardest to fix it. You protected the town, you protected each other, and you even managed to gain control over the Prism in the process. And… despite the odds, you all did an amazing job with all of it.” Her smile widened as she folded the artifact securely into Steven’s hands. “Keep it. I have a feeling it would rather stay with you.”
Steven nodded warmly, taking care to safely tuck the Prism away back into its usual place in his Cheeseburger Backpack. At the same time, Amethyst ran over, shapeshifting an extra set of arms so she could hoist all four of the kids up into the air.
“Woo!” she cheered as the townsfolk erupted into applause. “Look at you guys! Savin’ the town from a bunch of bonkers light monsters, all without dying too! That takes some serious skill!”
“Oho, yes!” Pearl added, readily shifting gears to join in on the celebration. “I can’t say we couldn’t have done a better job ourselves. You four really surprised–and inspired–all of us today. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome!” all four of the kids chimed in happy unison.
“Give it up for the Mystery Kids!” Someone shouted from the back of the crowd. It took a moment, but eventually, the kids spotted Soos waving brightly at them.
“Mystery Kids?” Connie asked, confused.
“Yeah, I’ve been trying to think of a cool group name for you dudes ever since you left the shack,” Soos explained. “I decided to go with Mystery Kids ‘cause like, you went off to solve the mystery of where all those little light dudes went. So bam: Mystery Kids.”
“That… seems like a bit of a stretch…” Dipper frowned, not exactly fond of the name. Steven and Mabel, however, were taken with it almost as soon as they heard it.
“But it fits us so well!” Mabel exclaimed, excited.
“Yeah, it does!” Steven said, beaming.
“To the Mystery Kids!” Soos rallied once again.
The rest of the crowd, including even the Gems themselves, readily joined along. Soon enough, the air was filled with the same celebratory cheer that rang out freely into the evening air. A cheer meant for perhaps the most unexpected heroes and the most steadfast team Gravity Falls had ever seen.
“To the Mystery Kids!”
Notes:
Next time... Steven tries uncovering the secrets behind his mother's healing magic.
Chapter 9: An Indirect Kiss
Summary:
When Amethyst's gem is cracked, Steven takes it upon himself to uncover the secrets behind his mother's healing tears. Meanwhile, Dipper and Mabel accompany Garnet and Pearl on a mission to Rose's magical healing fountain.
Notes:
God so sorry this one too so long, ya'll. This holiday season got me busy like you wouldn't believe, but I'm still glad I was able to get this one out before Christmas. You'll notice I didn't really change a whole lot from this one, I think this chapter was one of the better ones in early old UF so it deserved to stay mostly the same. With all that out of the way, let's head on down to the fountain and get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
BVYA AEIYNBA GXAZF FFY FHRMYD ACFLEL
GMSLR'L NWGMWHT EISR F VYNEIVT PWMF
There were few other spots in Gravity Falls that offered a view as spectacular as the top of the temple hill. That’s exactly why the kids had picked it as the place for a scenic picnic. By the time Lion had hauled the four of them to peak, he was utterly exhausted, flopping down into the grass as the kids went about setting up their lunch.
Or at least, most of them did.
“Hurry up, Steven!” Connie called. Steven, however, stayed, languidly draped across Lion’s back, not moving a muscle.
“Yeah!” Mabel added as she pulled a handful of treats from the picnic basket. “You don’t wanna miss out on the special cupcakes I made! Check it out; they even have all our faces on them!”
“Uh, Mabel?” Dipper spoke up. “I don’t want to burst your bubble or anything, but the idea of eating something with any of our faces on it is… kind of creepy.”
“I think you mean creepily adorable ,” Mabel corrected, happily helping herself to one of the cupcakes.
Meanwhile, Steven finally responded with a gloomy groan as he let himself slip off of Lion and onto the ground. Instead of partaking in the picnic, he lay where he was, making no effort to hide just how despondent he really was.
“Oh no,” Dipper said, concerned. “Not this again…”
“What’s wrong with him?” Connie asked, taking a step closer to Steven.
“He’s a… little upset because of what happened yester-” Dipper began to explain before Steven quickly cut him off.
“I’m fine!” He scrambled to his feet, forcing a wide, fake smile onto his face.
“Really?” Mabel asked. “Because just earlier, you were talking about how you felt-”
“I-I feel great!” Steven tried to laugh as he took a seat alongside the others. “Really, I do. Just… great…”
None of the others were fooled as they shared a short, skeptical glance. “Are you sure you’re ok?” Connie asked, already knowing the answer. Still, she handed him a sandwich, hoping that having something good to eat may help cheer him up, at least a little.
“Yeah…” Steven muttered as he began nibbling on his sandwich. Whatever he was upset about, it was clear he had no interest in talking about. Which was why Connie hesitantly decided to change the subject.
“So… um… Is this fence new?” she glanced over at the freshly-painted white fence surrounding the edge of the nearby cliff.
“Uh, Connie?” Dipper whispered. “You might wanna avoid mentioning the fence. It’s sort of a… sore subject.”
“What? Why?”
“Ha! Yeah, the fence is new!” Mabel rushed in with an awkwardly loud laugh. “Now why don’t we forget it’s here and talk about something completely different? Like, we could talk about how… about… Oh! About how cute Lion is! Look at him over there, sleeping like a precious pink little baby!”
Despite this obvious attempt at lightening his mood, Steven wasn’t so easily swayed. “It’s new…” he let out a heavy sigh. “And how it got here is, uh, a long story.”
“Steven, you don’t have to tell it if you don’t want to,” Dipper said, shaking his head.
“Aw, but I wanted to tell Connie our side of what happened!” Mabel pouted as she crossed her arms.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Connie cut in, confused. “What exactly happened? Is it a magical story?!”
“You bet it is!” Mabel exclaimed enthusiastically. “And it’s an amazing one! Packed full of drama, action, and suspense!”
“Mabel!” Dipper scolded as he nodded over at Steven.
“What? I’m just stating the facts.”
“It’s… sort of a magic story…” Steven hesitated, not fond of the idea of having to recount it.
By this point, however, Connie was beyond intrigued. “Will you guys tell it to me? Please?”
“Sure!” Mabel readily agreed.
“ Only if Steven’s ok with it,” Dipper said, finally slipping on a small smile. “Because to be honest, it is kind of an awesome story.”
“Steven?” Connie asked, practically pleaded . And under so much scrutiny, especially from her , Steven was utterly helpless to the point that he couldn’t help but give in.
“Ok, ok,” he heaved another relenting sigh. “It’s not a happy story, but… here goes. It all started the other day when the three of us were hanging around up here with Amethyst…”
“Amethyst, be careful!” Steven anxiously warned. He had every reason to be worried too as Amethyst cheerfully skipped dangerously close to the cliff's edge, heedless of the deep drop below it. Whether she was simply fooling around or trying to impress the trio of kids who had come up to watch her, none of them knew.
“Steven, why are you getting so worked up?” Amethyst chuckled. “Aw… Do you care about me or something?”
“Yes!” Steven whimpered, distressed.
“Oh, Steven, I didn’t mean to make you—Whoa!” Amethyst gasped as she pretended to teeter backward, only to catch her balance just as quickly. “Ha! Made you guys look!”
“Um, Amethyst? Have you thought that maybe balancing on the edge of an incredibly high cliff isn’t the… smartest idea?” Dipper apprehensively asked.
“Pfft,” Amethyst scoffed. “You know who you sound like, Dipper? Like Pearl. And you know what Pearl does?” Her smirk widened as she shapeshifted into Pearl, perching atop her tiptoes on the cliff edge. “Well, you see, kids, I simply love to… nag, nag, nag, nag!”
Since Dipper was far from amused with such teasing and Steven was still too wrapped up in his fear to let out a single chuckle, Mabel did that for the both of them. “Ha! You and Pearl do nag a lot, bro-bro!” she elbowed her annoyed brother. “You should try loosening up. And if you need some help, I’ll show you how! Hey, Amethyst, make some room!”
“Sure thing,” Amethyst shrugged, smirking “Join the party!”
While Mabel was more than ready to rush over to the cliff’s edge, Dipper quickly stopped her before she could take even a single step. “Yeah, no. You’re not doing this.”
Mabel let out a loud, aggravated groan. “See? There you go again, being a big ol’ nag!”
“I’m not nagging,” Dipper protested. “I’m trying to keep you from going over the edge of a hundred-foot high cliff!”
“Dipper’s right!” Steven worriedly, adamantly agreed. “It’s too dangerous for anyone, including you, Amethyst! If you keep it up, you’re going to fall, and get hurt, and-”
“Steven, please,” Amethyst cut him off from her spot on the very edge of the cliff. “I’m a Gem warrior, I’m not gonna fall-”
And then, she fell.
The thin patch of dirt she was standing on crumbled out from underneath her, sending her plummeting down the cliff face. The kids’ terrified screams echoed after her, but all Amethyst could do as she continued her descent was facepalm. “Ugh, this is so embarrassing!”
From atop the cliff, the kids could only watch as Amethyst finally landed hard against a rock at the base of the temple. She didn’t stop there either; after bouncing off the rock, she rolled down the hill toward the Mystery Shack, slamming into several trees and shrubs along the way. She only came to a stop when she hit the side of the shack, shouting a rough “I’m ok!” back up to the kids on the hill.
Despite that, they still hurried down as fast as they could, just to make sure. When they finally, breathlessly arrived, they found Amethyst, surprisingly not much worse for wear aside from the twigs and leaves strewn through her messy hair. “Took you guys long enough,” she said, casually leaning against the side of the shack.
“Ok, how are you not seriously hurt from that?” Dipper asked, bewildered. “You fell off a cliff! I know guys are super-durable or whatever, but you can’t be that durable.”
“Uh, yeah we are,” Amethyst grinned, brushing a bit of dirt off her shoulder. “We’re like ROCKS.”
“Literally!” Mabel chimed in.
“Are you sure you’re ok?” Steven anxiously asked.
“Yes, Steven, I’m fine,” Amethyst huffed, annoyed. “Well… except for this !” She pushed her hair aside to reveal her eye, much larger and more lazy than usual. As alarming as that was, the kids didn’t get much of a chance to be shocked by it before Garnet and Pearl rushed onto the scene.
“Amethyst!” Pearl winced at the sight of Amethyst’s swollen eye. “Quick! Show me your gem!”
“Fresh!” Amethyst slapped her hand away. She wasn’t able to stop Garnet, however, from pulling her top down a bit to fully show the gemstone on her chest. As well as the small, yet deep crack torn across its purple surface.
Pearl let out a horrified gasp and even Garnet reeled her hand back in sudden alarm. “Amethyst! Your gem is cracked!”
“Rude!” Amethyst covered her gem up, flustered. She paused, however, catching her cool upon noticing the worried looks the kids were sending her way. “I-it’s not a big deal! Plus, now I have this cool googly eye!”
Garnet and Pearl both knew exactly what Amethyst was doing. And given just how severe something like a cracked gem was, neither of them approved of it. But before they could accost her again, they were suddenly, sullenly interrupted.
“Hey!” Stan snapped as he emerged from the shack and stormed over. “What’s all the racket out here?! I’m trying to give a tour and all this yelling is distracting my paying customers!”
“Grunkle Stan, Amethyst cracked her gem!” Mabel reported. “I don’t really know what that means, but it sounds super serious!”
“Amethyst cracked… wait, what now?” Stan asked, not following.
“Like I said, I’m fine,” Amethyst insisted, crossing her arms. “It’s just a little scratch.”
“A little scratch?” Pearl repeated, appalled. “Amethyst, you should know how serious this is! How did this even happen?”
“She fell off the cliff,” Steven said bluntly.
“And then she rolled down the hill, hitting every tree along the way,” Dipper added.
“Did not!” Amethyst protested, pouting.
“The cliff… of course!” Pearl frowned up at the towering hill. “How could I have been so blind!? We need to put a fence up there, so this will never happen again!”
“I’m surprised you haven’t already done that,” Stan remarked dryly “That cliff is a lawsuit waiting to happen. You know… if you wanted a nice fence up there, I’d be more than willing to hire Soos out to build one for you… At the low cost of one hundred dollars an hour, of course.”
Though Pearl was prepared to reject this idea, in the end, Garnet beat her to it as she stoically shook Stan’s hand in agreement. “Deal.”
“And that’s how the fence got here,” Steven hastily concluded, desperately hoping that Connie wouldn’t press him for more details. “The end!”
“Wha—but… that’s not how the story ended!” Mabel exclaimed. “There’s so much more to it than that!”
“Yeah, what happened to Amethyst?” Connie asked.
Instead of giving anything in the way of an answer, Steven simply let out a long groan as he forced himself to look away from his friends.
“You know you can’t just leave it there, Steven,” Dipper pointed out.
“C’mon! Tell me the rest!” Connie urged.
“Or at least let me and Dipper do it! Pretty please?” Mabel suggested, smiling.
“Mmm, I don’t wanna…” Steven muttered. Even still, it was clear to tell his resistance was on thin ice. Ice that only seemed to splinter even more when Connie continued to take a crack at it.
“Steven?” she started, frowning when he still refused to meet her gaze.
“Steven…” she tried again, this time with a pleading grin.
“Steven!” she snapped impatiently. And in the end, that’s finally what caused Steven to cave.
“Okay, fine,” he sighed, glancing over at the twins. “But only if you guys tell the sad parts for me.”
“Steven, we weren’t there for most of the sad parts,” Dipper said. Mabel, on the other hand, was quick to jump in and agree.
“You got it! And we’ll be sure to tell the high-stakes, adventurery parts too!”
“And one more thing,” Steven turned back to Connie. “Let me try on your glasses?”
“Only if you give me the rest of your juice,” Connie bartered.
“Okay, but it’s mostly backwash.”
“Good enough.”
“Ew,” Dipper cringed as the pair swapped items. At the same time, Mabel bounced up and down in her seat, beside herself with excitement over finishing their “epic’ tale.
“How do I look?” Steven grinned as he tried the pink-tinted glasses on.
“…I have no idea,” Connie squinted at the vague, colored blobs around her.
“Steven, you look great!” Mabel quickly assured. “Let’s fi nally get back to the story already! So, all of us were really worried about Amethyst…”
“So what’s the problem?” Steven asked after Stan and Garnet sealed their deal on the fence. “Amethyst falls off stuff all the time.”
“It’d be fine if it was just her body, but her gem is damaged,” Pearl explained.
“And that’s… bad?” Dipper assumed.
“Yes,” Garnet nodded, crossing her arms. “Very bad.”
“Please,” Stan scoffed, eyeing Amethyst’s gemstone. “That little cut? Just pour some rubbing alcohol over it, slap some duct tape on it, and she’ll be fine.”
“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Amethyst shrugged, grinning.
“Are you both insane ?!” Pearl hotly exclaimed. “This isn’t just some little scrape on the knee! Amethyst’s gem is cracked ! The very core of her being! You can’t just use something like tape, of all things, to fix it!”
“So… how do we fix it?” Steven piped up.
Pearl quickly softened at this question, sighing sadly as she stole a glance back up toward the temple. “Well, before… we had Rose.”
“Steven,” Garnet knelt down to his level, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Your mother had healing tears that flowed from her gem. She felt real love for those around her, and she felt real sorrow when they were hurt. You have her gem now. I know that power is in you too.”
“Whoa…” Mabel gasped as she looked at Steven, astonished. “Steven, if you really do have magical healing powers, that would be the coolest thing ever !”
“Yeah, it would!” Steven agreed, more than excited to try. “Amethyst, show me your Gem!”
“Yeah, alright,” Amethyst pulled her top down to reveal the cracked stone.
“Oh boy, this oughta be good,” Stan commented, smirking.
Steven took in a deep breath, posing dramatically as he closed his eyes and tried to summon tears. “The power… to heal!” he whispered, desperately hoping that he bore the same magical tears that his mother had.
Except…
Though he tried as hard as he could, his initial attempt didn’t accomplish much of anything. Between his straining and his disappointingly dry eyes, the only thing Steven managed to work up was a sweat instead of any actual tears. “It’s not working…” he heaved a tired, discouraged sigh. “I guess I’m just too tough to cry.”
“Just yesterday you were crying about snakes,” Pearl pointed out.
“They don’t have any arms!” Steven whimpered fretfully.
“And weren’t you crying just a while ago about the view from the top of the hill?” Dipper asked just as dryly.
“Maybe…” Steven hesitantly admitted. “I can’t help it! Gravity Falls is just so beautiful!”
“Well, look on the bright side, kid,” Stan placed a hand on his shoulder. “Considering how much of a sap you are, I’m sure you’ll have tears pouring all over Amethyst’s gem in no time. Wait… that came out wrong…”
“Amethyst might not have that much time to wait,” Garnet shook her head. “We have no choice. We’ll have to get some water from Rose’s healing fountain.”
“Healing fountain?” Dipper echoes, intrigued.
“Oh yes!” Pearl exclaimed. “Why didn’t I think of that? The water from Rose’s fountain can heal just as well as her tears could! We should go there right away!”
“Guys, I’m fine!” Amethyst waved her hand. “I’m not gonna get any wo-r-r-r-r-“ The others watched on as her face suddenly twisted up, another result of her gem’s damaged condition. When her face finally returned to normal, she continued speaking, only this time, her words were oddly backward. “Esrow. Ees? I dlot uoy! Ho, tiaw...”
“Yikes…” Stan cringed. None of the others, not even Amethyst, noticed the hint of genuine worry slipping across his face.
“Neat!” Mabel chuckled. “I wanna learn how to talk backward too!”
“Oh no! This is getting more serious by the second!” Pearl exclaimed. “That’s it! Amethyst, you have to stay here so you won’t exacerbate your crack!”
“Wa, tahw? Tub I annaw emoc!” Amethyst protested, her speech still scrambled.
“No,” Garnet insisted, somehow understanding her. “Amethyst, you need to stay.”
“Oh, I could stay too and take care of her!” Steven suggested. “And who knows? Maybe I could finally get myself to cry and just heal her with my tears!”
“I’d say that’s worth a try,” Garnet offered him a small, encouraging smile.
“But it’s such a long hike up to the temple…” Steven frowned as he looked up the path. “And Amethyst, you’re in no condition to walk that far…”
“I dluoc od ti fi I detnaw ot,” Amethyst crossly turned her nose up.
“You know, you’re totally right, Steven!” Mabel said, catching onto where he was going with this. “If only there was someone who would selflessly open up his home to his injured friend while Garnet and Pearl go to get some fountain water for her…”
Stan had already noticed the puppy-dog eyes both Mabel and Steven were giving him, but even despite them teaming up on him, he wasn’t so easily swayed. “Nope. No way. In case you kids didn’t notice, this is a tourist trap, not a hospital. I have a business to run and chumps to swindle. I don’t have time for any magical Gem nonsense today.”
“Wow, Nats. Ecin ot wonk uoy erac tuoba em oot,” Amethyst deadpanned, not even caring that he couldn’t understand a word she was saying.
“Seriously, Grunkle Stan?” Dipper asked, eyeing him critically. “Would it really kill you to just let Steven and Amethyst hang out here for a few hours? What harm could it possibly cause?”
“I don’t even think I have the energy to answer that question, kid,” Stan pinched the bridge of his nose as he turned back to the Gems. “Besides, past experiences have taught me not to get too involved with you guys. It causes me too many migraines.”
“Please, Mr. Pines!” Steven begged, grabbing onto the hem of his suit jacket. “We need you! Amethyst needs you! You gotta help her out, just this once! So, will you…? Please?”
Stan scowled down at Steven, stubbornly set in his decision. That is, until he happened to glance over at Amethyst. Despite wearing a glare just as sour as his own, there was just enough panic hidden in her eyes to start to break his resolve. It was only when those eyes met his, when her unbothered facade finally began to break into newfound fear that Stan realized he’d lost this battle before it even began.
“Ok, fine!” he groaned, ignoring Steven’s relieved cheer. “But only ‘cause it's Amethyst. Don’t think I ever do this for either of you two.” He shot a disparaging glance at Garnet and Pearl.
“We wouldn’t expect you to,” Garnet deadpanned.
“And I’m tacking on another fifty bucks to that fence,” Stan quickly added. “Consider that the… hospitality fee.”
“Ugh, fine,” Pearl rolled her eyes, annoyed. “Let’s just go, Garnet. We don’t have any time to waste!”
Before the pair could head out on their mission, they were suddenly stopped, this time by Dipper. “Um, hey, you guys? Well, I was just thinking…” anxiously trailed off. In truth, what he was about to present them with was an idea he’d been dwelling on for quite awhile now. And though he knew they'd almost definitely say no, he couldn't help but work up the nerve to ask all the same, hoping there was still some small chance they might agree to it. “M-maybe me and Mabel could go with you guys to the fountain. I mean, y-you guys probably don’t need any help, but just in case you did-”
“We’d be more than up for it!” Mabel eagerly leapt in. “Please let us come, you guys! I’ve always wanted to go on a magical, action-packed Gem mission! It’ll be so much fun !”
“Mabel…” Dipper groaned, embarrassed. He hadn’t factored Mabel’s often overwhelming enthusiasm into his plan; if there was anything that could turn the Gems off of the idea of bringing them along, it would be the notion that neither of them were serious about it. And if Mabel’s behavior was any indication, then clearly they weren’t.
“Oh, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, kids…” Pearl put on something of a forced smile. “It’s true that Rose’s fountain isn’t… explicitly dangerous… per say…”
“Then what’s the problem?” Dipper asked.
“Yeah, you guys should totally let Dipper and Mabel go with you!” Steven agreed, smiling at the twins. “Seriously, going on a Gem mission will change your lives! All of the action, magic… everything else, it’s incredible!”
After hearing this, the pair exchanged a hopeful smile, though those hopes were nearly dashed by Pearl a moment later. “Dipper, Mabel, listen…” she began, treading as carefully as she could. “I… I really don’t know how to say this, but… a Gem mission… Well, it might be a little too much for you…”
“What?” Mabel asked, mirroring Dipper’s dismay perfectly. “No way!”
“Yeah, we can handle it!” Dipper added. “We found the light canons, didn’t we? And we helped stop those light monsters!”
“Yes, but that was right here in Gravity Falls,” Pearl pointed out. “Rose’s fountain is far away, completely unfamiliar territory to the two of you. There’s no telling what could happen. And… well, you’re both only… human. Most Gem locales are dangerous enough for us, much less you. We just don’t want to see either of you get hurt, right Garnet?”
“They can come.”
“See? That’s what I was—wait, w-what?!” Pearl stiffened, ignoring the twins’ mutually awestruck gasp.
“You said so yourself, Pearl: this isn’t going to be a dangerous mission,” Garnet reassured. “We’re just going to Rose’s fountain, taking a bit of water, and coming back. It’s easy. Like they said, they can handle it.”
“A-are you sure?” Pearl asked, frowning. Still, Garnet simply nodded, her stance as firm as it usually was.
“You really mean it, Garnet?” Mabel looked up at her with a huge smile.
“I do,” she nodded once more. “But only if your uncle is ok with it.”
“Eh, what do I care?” Stan shrugged. “Go ahead and babysit the little knuckleheads for me for a few hours. I have a feeling I’ll be doing plenty of babysitting of my own with these two,” he pointed a thumb over at Steven and Amethyst.
At the same time, Dipper and Mabel looked at each other, beaming with excitement over the adventure ahead of them. Garnet and Pearl gave them little time to celebrate, however, as they already began making their way back up to the temple.” “Shake a leg, you two!” Pearl called. Garnet, on the other hand, slowed her pace a little to allow the kids to bid each other farewell.
“I’m so excited for you guys!” Steven threw his arms around the twins’ shoulders. “You’re gonna have such a great time! I wish I could go with you, but me and my potentially healing tears are needed here.”
“Speaking of which…” Dipper paused, watching as Stan and Amethyst headed inside the shack. As soon as he was sure they were gone and Pearl and Garnet weren’t watching, he pulled the journal out of his vest. “Here, Steven,” he said, handing the book over to him. “When the Gems were talking about your mom’s healing powers, I remembered reading about something that sounded just like that in the journal. So maybe you could use it to help you figure out how to get them working. You know, if crying doesn’t work out.”
“Whoa…” Steven said, stars in his eyes as he carefully held the mysterious tome. “Thanks, Dipper! With the journal’s help, I’ll be a magical healer in no time!”
“Yeah, well just don’t try running off with it this time, ok?” Dipper said with a half-serious smile. “And… don’t let Stan or Amethyst see it.”
“Huh?” Steven raised an eyebrow. “I get Amethyst; you said you were still trying to figure out how to tell the Gems about it. But… why can’t Mr. Pines see it?”
“‘Cause Dipper’s paranoid,” Mabel piped up.
“No, I’m not!” Dipper argued. “It’s just… if Stan got ahold of that thing, who knows what he’d do with it? For all we know, he’d probably try to sell it to some random tourist in the gift shop for like, ten bucks or something.”
“Eh, I think it’d go for at least 11,” Mabel said thoughtfully.
Dipper sighed, rolling his eyes before turning back to Steven. “Just… don’t go showing it off, please? The less people know about it, the less I have to worry about losing it.”
“Well… I don’t want you to worry…” Steven ran his hand over the one on the journal’s cover. Despite his misgivings about the book and its mysterious contents, if there was anyone he wanted to do right by, it was Dipper. Especially since he’d finally decided to trust him again after how he’d betrayed that trust by taking the journal before. “So… ok. I’ll keep the journal safe–and secret. I promise.”
“Thanks, Steven,” Dipper offered him a warm, relieved smile.
“Kid! You better get in here!” Stan called for Steven as he poked his head out of the shack. The second he did, Steven rushed to hide the journal out of sight behind his back. “Amethyst’s shouting about how she wants you, I guess. It’s kinda hard to tell since everything she says is backward now.”
“I’ll be there in just a second!” Steven shouted before turning back to the twins with a small, hopeful smile. “Well, I guess this is it. I hope you guys have a great time with Garnet and Pearl. And good luck finding the fountain!”
“Good luck to you too, Steven!” Mabel waved back to him as she and Dipper began hurrying off after the Gems. “I hope you can get yourself to cry! Oh, I mean—I hope your tears work! Er, um… I meant to say-”
“Ok, Mabel,” Dipper cut her off, pulling her after him. After all, the last thing he wanted to do was keep the Gems waiting after so narrowly managing to convince them to let them come along. “I think he gets it.”
“So the Gems really let you guys go with them on their mission?” Connie asked the twins, amazed.
“Yeah they did and it was awesome !” Mabel nodded, grinning from ear to ear.
“Well, it was awesome whenever we weren’t fighting for our lives,” Dipper added.
“Oh come on, bro-bro, those were the best parts!” Mabel nudged her brother teasingly.
“It sure sounds a lot better than what happened at the shack…” Steven muttered mostly to himself.
“Wait, but I thought Pearl and Garnet said going to the fountain wasn’t going to be dangerous,” Connie frowned.
“That’s what they thought,” Dipper said as he continued the tale. “What the Gems didn’t know, and what me and Mabel didn’t know, was that this mission was going to be a lot more dangerous than we could have imagined…”
“Wait, so we actually get to use the warp pad?” Dipper asked, awestruck. Garnet and Pearl had already stepped up onto pad, neither of them understanding exactly what was so novel about it.
“Yes…” Pearl raised a confused eyebrow.
“Like, the warp pad?” Dipper pressed again.
Both Gems nodded, even as Mabel let out an elated squeal. “Oh my gosh! Is the fountain in another dimension?! Is that dimension full of all sorts of magical Gem stuff?! Can we take pictures?”
“The fountain isn’t in another dimension,” Pearl explained. “It’s here on Earth, just like all of the places we warp too. It’s just too far away for us to simply walk there.”
“Ok, but how does it work?” Dipper eyed the pad curiously. “Is it like, magic or teleportation or-”
“Step up here and find out,” Garnet said with a small, amused smile. Mabel was the first to run towards the pad, grabbing Dipper’s arm and pulling him after her.
“Is everybody ready?” Pearl asked. Even she couldn’t help but smile when she noticed just how adorably dazzled the twins truly were. She usually wasn’t much on must humans, but… perhaps she could make an exception for the two of them. Just this once.
With that thought in mind, Pearl clapped her hands, allowing herself to share just a bit of their excitement. “Then keep your arms and legs inside the warp stream and… here we go!”
Dipper and Mabel gasped in equal wonder as the world lit up around them and the Gems. Without warning, the ground vanished from under their feet, the temple doing the same as a sparkling blue glow surrounded them on all sides. While Garnet and Pearl hovered gracefully, the twins floated much more clumsily, or at least Dipper did. Mabel laughed as she let herself float a little bit higher, performing a free flip in midair for fun.
“Mabel, please be careful!” Pearl quickly pulled the girl back down to their level. “If you keep fooling around like that, you could easily fall out of the stream!”
“What’s out there anyway?” Dipper asked, straining to see what little he could from beyond the pillar of light.
“A whole lot of nothing,” Garnet said simply, adjusting her shades.
No more than a few seconds later, the group arrived at their intended destination, landing squarely on another warp pad as the light cleared to reveal their surroundings. “And here we are!” Pearl announced. “Rose’s personal garden!”
“Whoa…” the twins muttered in awed unison as they surveyed the area. Despite its name, the place looked like anything but a garden. Instead of being lush and thriving, the local vegetation was choked with thistles and brambles, which congregated to a massive cluster of plants not too far away from the warp pad. Overall, the garden had a forlorn, lonely atmosphere to it, as though it had been abandoned and untouched for years on end. Which, considering Rose’s absence, it probably had.
Pearl hardly seemed to notice this at first as she and Garnet stepped off the warp pad, with the twins following not too far behind. “Oh, I remember how much Rose used to love this place…” she said with a nostalgic smile. “And of course, at the center of the garden is Rose’s fountain, overflowing with her healing, lacrimal essence!”
“I don’t see it,” Garnet pointed out as she glanced around.
“Wha-” Pearl started, alarmed, as she noticed the collection of tightly-knit brambles claiming most of the garden. “H-how did this happen?!”
“So is the fountain in the middle of all those giant thorns?” Mabel asked.
“Probably,” Garnet said. Despite her relative calm, Pearl didn’t come anywhere close to sharing it as she quickly collapsed into rising panic.
“N-now, now!” she exclaimed, clinging tightly onto Garnet’s arm. “Let’s keep it together! Our memories of Rose can’t be tainted by some overgrown brambles! Look at them,” she scowled down at the imposing vines. “They’re a mess without her guidance! Directionless, pathetic, clinging things. It’s going to be ok, Garnet!”
Garnet simply shrugged, clearly not as concerned about their predicament as Pearl was. “Sure.”
“Y-you really think so?” Pearl asked, her anxiety getting the better of her. “Well, then, let’s find a path! It’s what Rose would have wanted us to do, after all!”
“Is Pearl… ok?” Dipper asked Garnet, concerned.
“Pearl gets a little… emotional about anything concerning Rose Quartz…” Garnet watched as Pearl tore her spear through a handful of vines in a violent, almost unhinged sort of rage. “But she’ll be fine.”
“Healing tears… go!” Steven stood over Amethyst as he tried his best to force tears to come. She let out a bored sigh as she lay sprawled on the shack’s couch, still not too worried about her current condition as she watched Steven’s earnest efforts.
“Nod't ecrof ti, nam! Uoy'll teg a pmarc ro gnihtemos,” Amethyst commented with an amused smirk.
“I don’t know what you said, but don’t worry,” Steven assured. “All I need to do is tear up a little, and your gem will be as good as new. Then, Garnet and Pearl will come back and see that I saved the day! It’ll be awesome!”
“Revetahw uoy yas, Rm. Cigam-Relaeh,” Amethyst rolled her eyes.
“Yo, dude, how’s it going?” Soos asked as he entered the den alongside Stan and Wendy. “Are your magical fairy tears working yet?”
“No… not yet…” Steven frowned. “And they’re not fairy tears. Just Gem tears.”
“Oh, well that’s what Mr. Pines called them,” Soos shrugged.
“That’s ’cause they’re something out of a fairytale,” Stan crossed his arms. “You’re wasting your time, kid. There’s no such thing as ‘healing tears’, or whatever it is.”
“Yes, there is!” Steven protested devoutly. “My mom had them!”
“Listen, kid,” Stan began, leaning against the couch. “Back when she was around, me and your mom were never on good terms, but I’ve known her and the Gems for years, and for all that time, I never heard anything about healing tears.”
“But Mr. Pines, don’t you usually just argue with the Gems all the time?” Soos pointed out.
“That’s not the point,” Stan shook his head as he looked back to Steven. “The point is it’s all a huge sham that Garnet and Pearl told you just to make you feel better. Like how I ate all the cookies Mabel made the other day and I told her I would buy her the stuff to make more even though I’m not gonna. Or when I told Dipper that he won’t have such a bad time during puberty when he’ll probably hate every awkward second of it.”
“Pfft, don’t listen to Stan,” Wendy scoffed, hands on her hips. “He’s just salty because he had to close the shack early since you guys are here.”
“That’s not why I closed it!” Stan argued, suddenly flustered. “Business was slow today anyway and, uh… I wanted to clean the register tills out! Yeah…”
Wendy rolled her eyes before turning back to Steven with a genuinely encouraging smile. “Well, even if he doesn’t think so, I think you can do this, Steven.”
“Me too, dude!” Soos wholeheartedly agreed.
“Og Maet Nevets! Ma I thgir?” Amethyst cheered jokingly.
“Thanks, you guys,” Steven said with a bashful blush. “Now if I could just make myself cry…”
“Now that you mention it, that’s such a weird way to heal someone,” Stan noted. “I mean, who actually cries when someone else gets hurt? If Rose had been smart, she would have just bottled up her pansy tears and sold them to gullible saps like some sort of miracle elixir.” He paused immediately after he said this, his eyes growing wide in sudden realization. “You know what? I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go get some bottles in case this actually works out…”
As Stan took his leave, Soos and Wendy joined Steven near the couch so they could get a better look at Amethyst's damaged gemstone for themselves.
“Yikes…” Wendy frowned at the sight of the sizable crack. “That does not look good. Does it hurt or anything?”
“He, ton yllaer. Ti tsuj selgnit a elttil. Sselnu I evom a elohw tol, neht ti... adnik struh. A elttil,” Amethyst explained in her scrambled language.
“Uh… I’ll take that as a no?” Wendy shrugged, confused.
“So like, is there a time limit on how long it takes until the whole thing breaks or…?” Soos trailed off awkwardly, not sure how to finish the question.
“I don’t think so…” Steven said. “But Garnet and Pearl made it seem like it would be a big deal if it got any worse…”
“Ho, tahw od yeht wonk?” Amethyst sneered. No more than a second later, she let out a sudden squeal as she grabbed onto Steven’s sleeve, tugging on it excitedly. “Nevets! Nevets!”
“Um… are you trying to say my name?”
Amethyst nodded vigorously as she delved into her plan with as much clarity as she could. Which really wasn’t much clarity at all thanks to her backward speech. “Fi ruoy ydob nac't yrc no sti nwo, uoy'ev attog ekam ti!” she exclaimed, only to get blank stares from the group gathered around her. So instead, Amethyst resorted to a different method of communication. Bizarrely, she slapped her own face, ignoring the pain as she dragged her finger down her cheek to pretend she was crying.
“Oh, is this charades?” Soos asked, grinning. “Hm… ok… first word. Uh… funeral?”
“That’s… probably not what she was aiming for, Soos,” Wendy shook her head. “At least, I hope it wasn’t…”
“Wait!” Steven gasped in realization. “I get it! Pain! Pain can make one cry.”
Amethyst nodded once more, a proud grin on her face. At the same time, Steven glanced around the den, his brow knitted in tight focus. “Let’s see… where is pain…?”
“Whoa, dude, you’re not actually going to force yourself to cry by hurting yourself, are you?” Wendy asked, concerned.
“I’ll be worth it if it can help save Amethyst,” Steven said as he hurried to the kitchen. “And I’m not going to do anything too bad. Just enough to bring the tears on. Hey, Soos, do you mind reaching up on this shelf and grabbing a plate for me so I can break it and step on the glass?”
“Sure thing, dude,” Soos quickly agreed.Wendy, on the other hand, was quick to step in.
“Ooookay there,” she rushed to the kitchen to stand between Steven and the plate cabinet. “Maybe we should come up with another idea. Preferably one that involves less glass.”
“What was that?” Soos asked as he handed Steven another plate that had been sitting on the table instead. “We’re doing something else?”
“You, guys, wait-” Wendy tried to stop them, but she was ultimately too late as Steven happily slammed the plate onto the floor. Amidst the shower of broken glass, he stumbled back on a knee-jerk reaction, accidentally bumping into the dish cabinet behind him. Amethyst darted straight up from her spot on the couch, letting out a gasp as she noticed the plates begin to wobble, ready to come crashing down right on top of Steven. Completely forgetting about her damaged gem, she leapt off the couch, ramming into him and knocking him out of the way just as several plates fell off the shelf and shattered on the floor.
Despite the mess now strewn across the kitchen, Wendy breathed a sigh of relief. “That was too close…”
“Are you dudes ok?” Soos asked Steven and Amethyst.
“I’m fine!” Steven replied as Amethyst slowly slid off him to lie on the floor. “And Amethyst is-” He gasped in shock as he noticed that, in the chaos of her rescue, her gem’s crack had worsened, cleaving into its damaged surface even further. “Oh man! You fell right on your gem!”
“N-nod't yrrow ro gnihtyna… M'i-i doog,” Amethyst groaned with a weak smile and a small cough. That smile quickly slipped when her entire body suddenly glitched out–literally. To the shock of everyone watching, her head and her right foot swapped places in a flash. As bewildering as that was, Amethyst simply let out a frustrated growl when her attempts to shapeshift herself back to normal proved futile thanks to her cracked gem.
“Dude, that would be freaky awesome if it wasn’t so sad,” Soos said with a sympathetic frown.
“What is going on in here?!” Stan stepped into the kitchen with a scowl. His aggravation swiftly switched into anger when he noticed the mess of broken glass scattered all over the floor. “And what happened to my plates?!”
“Uh… we were trying to get me to cry by making me feel pain and, well—it’s a long story…” Steven frowned as he gently helped Amethyst sit upright.
“Somehow I knew something like this would happen,” Stan sighed, rubbing his temples. He flinched, however, when he noticed the dire condition Amethyst appeared to be in. “Sheesh, Amethyst, you’re looking worse than usual.”
“On esrow naht uoy, Nats,” Amethyst deadpanned tiredly.
“Quick, everyone! Help me get her back onto the couch!” Steven urged. Soos, Wendy, and even Stan joined in on hoisting Amethyst back over to the safety of the couch, where she languidly lay, not wanting to injure herself any further than she already had. “Now don’t move, Amethyst,” Steven ordered. He bit the inside of his cheek, knowing that he was running out of options. Fortunately, he still had something on his side that might just be able to offer him some help against his diminishing hope. “Can you guys watch her for a minute?” he asked the others.
“Why? Where are you going?” Wendy asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I… I-uh…” Steven hesitated, remembering the promise he had made to Dipper. A promise he had no intentions of breaking, even despite the severe circumstances. “I’m just gonna run to the bathroom and see if splashing hot water in my eyes will make me cry!” he lied, already running up the steps. “Be back in a second!”
Stan shook his head, incredulous, as he watched Steven leave. “I’ll never understand that kid.”
Dipper and Mabel made sure to follow Garnet and Pearl closely–but not too closely–as they tried cutting a path through the bramble-filled garden. It wasn’t unusual for Pearl to slip into bouts of dramatic despair or frustration over the state of the garden, fiercely swinging her spear at any unwanted plant in their path. Meanwhile, Garnet charged ahead, as calm and mindful of their mission as ever. Her steadfast attitude was what Dipper was trying his best to emulate, to show just how responsible and dependable he could be.
Unfortunately, his sister didn’t seem so keen on doing the same.
Instead, Mabel had taken to wandering around, collecting stray flowers while blithely, cheerfully humming to herself all the while. As distracted as they were with finding the fountain, Garnet and Pearl hadn’t noticed yet, but Dipper certainly had. And for the sake of making sure their first mission with the Gems wouldn’t be their last, he knew it was up to him to put a stop to it.
“Mabel,” he whispered harshly, grabbing her arm before she could reach for another flower. “What are you doing?”
“Picking a few flowers to bring back as a souvenir of our very first super cool Gem mission, duh!” Mabel grinned as she tucked one of her flowers behind her brother’s ear. Dipper wasted no time pulling it out and tossing it away.
“Can you please try to focus instead?” he pressed, aggravated. “We’re lucky to even be on this mission at all. Which is why we need to prove to Garnet and Pearl that we can actually help and that we’re not just tagging along like this is some sort of field trip.”
“I get what you’re sayin’, bro-bro,” Mabel winked. “We gotta kick it into overdrive !”
“Um, maybe let’s not do that,” Dipper shook his head.
“What? But you just said-”
“I know what I said. But if we ever want the Gems to take either of us seriously, then we have to take this seriously. And… well, uh…” Dipper glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck. “You can sometimes get kind of… over excited, Mabel…”
Mabel let out an appalled, scandalized gasp. “Dipper! I can’t believe you’d even accuse me of something like that! Who do you know that’s more serious than I am?”
“Literally everyone,” Dipper bluntly retorted.
“Well, I take offense to that!” Mabel turned her nose up at him. “I mean, come on, if I wasn’t serious, then would I have brought this along?” She reached into her sweater, proudly brandishing the grappling hook Stan had given her.
“ Why in the world did you bring that?” Dipper groaned, facepalming.
“‘Cause it’s super handy for high-stakes magical action, obviously.”
“You don’t even know how to use it.”
“Do too!”
“Do not–” Dipper stopped short before the argument could go on any further. He stole a glance around the clearing of vines only to realize they were the only ones in it. “Uh… Where are Garnet and Pearl?”
“Ha! Now look who’s not taking things seriously!” Mabel stuck her tongue out at him “While you were fussing at me, you got us separated from the Gems! Nice going, ‘Mr. Serious’.”
“B-but they were just in front of us a second ago!” Dipper said as worry began to set in. “Did they already find a path inside or something?”
“Guess there’s only one way to find out!” Mabel boldly proclaimed, grappling hook still in hand. “We’ll just have to find our own way through ourselves!”
“Mabel, wait-” Dipper warned as Mabel took aim. In the end though, he could do nothing to stop her from firing her grappling hook at the overgrown vines ahead of them. Instead of latching onto them to pull them away, however, the vines latched onto it instead. And they didn’t stop there either.
The twins shared an alarm gasp as the vines suddenly lashed out, coiling around Mabel’s outstretched arms with frightening speed. She let out a sharp cry as the brambles tore through the sleeve of her sweater, cutting into her arm and painfully tightening at each attempt she made at trying to wiggle free from them.
“Mabel!” Dipper yelled, rushing to her aid. Despite his best efforts at pulling his sister out of the vines’ strong hold, it wasn’t long before they started to converge on him too, wrapping tightly around his torso. From there, the twins could do little else but scream as even more vines lashed out and latched themselves around them, pulling them ever closer toward the dark thicket ahead.
“How do we get out of this stuff?” Mabel winced away from the thorns inching dangerously close to her face.
“I-I don’t–wait,” Dipper gasped when he caught sight of the grappling hook Mabel was still clinging onto for dear life. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but use the grappling hook!”
“Again?” Mabel asked, surprised. “But that’s how all this started! Why would you-”
“Just shoot it, straight ahead!” Dipper insisted, straining to find a gap in the thicket. “It’s gotta latch onto something on the other side. Just trust me!” He shouted as one of the vines sharply constricted against his leg, its thorns cutting in deep. “A-and hurry!”
Mabel did as he said, barely managing to pull the hook back in before she took aim as best she could. She found the same opening Dipper already had and fired, watching with wide eyes as the hook tore through the wall of thorns to miraculously find purchase onto an unknown object beyond it. As soon as it did, Mabel released the tension on the hook, sending both her and Dipper lurching forward. The most they could do was cover their faces against the brambles as they blazed through them, desperate for the sharp onslaught to end before the treacherous vines could reclaim them again and–
“Ah! Headache!” Steven’s sudden cry of pain cut straight through the action of the story.
“Then give me back my glasses!” Connie exclaimed in impatient frustration.
Steven nodded, quickly taking the glasses off as he handed them back to Connie. “So what happened next?” she asked the twins. “Did you guys catch up with the Gems? And Steven, what happened back at the shack?”
“Yeah, Steven, why don’t you take over for a while?” Dipper suggested.
“Tell her what you told us about the journal!” Mabel exclaimed before rushing a whisper to Connie. “Spoiler alert: it will make you cry.”
“Mm…” Steven sighed, but ultimately folded under everyone’s anticipating gazes. “Ok, I guess… So I was up in the attic, looking in the journal to see if I could find anything about my mom’s healing tears…”
“Ok, let’s see…” Steven muttered as he began leafing through the journal in search of answers. “Where would the part about healing tears be…? In the ghost section? Nah… Invisible wizard? Cool, but no… Oh, I know! It’d be in the part about the Gems!”
Steven wasted no time flipping through countless pages before he finally stopped on the section detailing the Crystal Gems. As much as he would have liked to read every word the unknown author had written about them, he knew there was no time for that now. Still, as he brushed past most of their pages, Steven couldn’t help but think about how wary Dipper still was about the possibility of the Gems discovering the journal. Certainly, he figured, they must already know about it if they had been written about it in such careful detail. Right?
Shaking such distracting thoughts out of his mind, Steven continued on through the journal, only stopping when he spotted the page about Rose Quartz. For a moment, he paused as he stared at the drawing of his mother on the crinkled brown page in front of him. She was presented just as beautifully as she always was, with perfect curls, a graceful gown, closed eyes, and a soft, kind smile.
The longer Steven stared at that drawing, the more inadequate he started to feel. Everything he’d ever heard about Rose Quartz had given him the impression that she was perfect; more than perfect really. She was incredible, intelligent, brave, compassionate, strong, magical, legendary, and everything in between. Everything that Steven knew he wasn’t.
But that didn’t stop Steven from wanting to be like her, perhaps more than he ever wanted anything else. He wanted to live up to her greatness instead of simply living in her shadow. The Gems expected it of him and he expected it of himself. And he knew that if his mother was still around, she would certainly expect it of him too. The only problem was, he wasn’t sure if he could even begin to try.
Steven didn’t even notice the warmth building behind his eyes until he remembered what he was supposed to be doing. And as soon as he did, he gasped as he jumped to his feet, bouncing up and down in newfound excitement. “Oh, oh! I’m getting all emotional!” he exclaimed, hoping that he wouldn’t lose it. “I think it's happening! I can feel it!”
Once more, Steven began straining, desperately trying to force his emotions to pour forth in the form of tears. But in the end, he was still left with little aside from exhaustion and disappointment. “Aw, come on! I had it!” he flopped down onto the floor beside the journal. “There’s gotta be something in here that can tell me how to do this! Anything!”
Steven skimmed over Rose’s page, disregarding any information that didn’t concern healing. When he did finally get to a small passage subtitled “healing tears”, he held his breath in anticipation before reading it aloud, throwing his voice to sound academic for added effect.
“After an accidental and particularly nasty run in with a hornet’s nest, I learned of another one of Rose’s unique abilities, perhaps her most miraculous one yet. As it turns out, she has healing powers! Her tears are capable of treating both minor and major physical injuries, from broken bones, to heavy wounds, to even the bothersome sinus headaches I get during allergy season. Interestingly enough, Rose’s tears work not only on humans, but on Gems too. At least that’s what Amethyst says, and considering how reckless she often is, I’m inclined to believe her.”
“Yeah, yeah, I already know all this stuff!” Steven huffed impatiently. “Tell me how they work!”
“How Rose’s healing tears work:”
“Yes!” he cheered, only for his smile to steadily fall as he began to read it.
“It would seem as though Rose's healing tears manifest from her Gem, though of course, they pour from her eyes (as tears should do). While I'm not completely sure if I understand it, her explanation of them implies that they are fueled by intense emotions, such as grief or compassion. Physical pain rarely ever brings them about, but then again, Rose hardly ever experiences physical pain considering how strong and durable she is. I suppose I'll need to do further research in the future to learn the exact science behind this phenomenon. But for now, I have to admit I'm very grateful for Rose's aid. If not for her, I'd be suffering from painful hornet stings for weeks!”
“Aw, what?!” Steven pulled back from the journal, disgruntled. “That didn’t help at all! The author didn’t understand how they worked, just like I don’t! I don’t understand anything !”
Discouraged, he shoved the journal away from him, fiercely glancing away from it as he stood up and fumed. “This should be easy! Why is it so hard?!” he groaned, unable to keep his rising distress contained any longer. “Why…. Why can’t I cry!?”
His angry shout bounced off the attic ceiling, leaving only an empty, bitter silence in its place. Even so, his frustration soon ebbed away into sad resignation as he slowly reclaimed the journal, lying down on the ground beside it. Once again, he looked at Rose's image in the old book, letting out a long sigh as he reached over and gingerly put his hand over it.
“It’s just… I mean…” he began hesitantly. It was silly, he knew it was, but he still spoke to the image as if it could somehow hear him. As if it was a way for him to talk to the mother he’d never been able to reach, the mother he’d never been able to know. “I don’t know how to feel about you, but everyone else does. And they’re always talking about how great you were and how much they miss you… I… I wish I could have met you… Then I could be sad and cry healing tears… like you…”
Connie’s sudden sniffle caught Steven off guard. As he glanced up, he was surprised to see all three of his friends on the verge of tears. Honestly, he should have figured as much given just how sad he’d felt himself at that moment. If only his tears had been able to come as easily as theirs.
“Are… are you guys ok?” he asked them, concerned.
Connie was the first to nod, taking a sip from her juice box, even despite her pressing tears. “Keep going.”
“Uh… maybe you guys should pick it up for now…” Steven said to Dipper and Mabel, hoping they could lighten things up.
“Huh?” Dipper quickly wiped his eyes. “Oh, um… sure, Steven. Uh, where were we…?”
Mabel sniffled, drying her damp cheeks as picked things up with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. Which, given what Steven had just told them, wasn’t anywhere near as much as she usually had. “We… we had just gotten out of the vines and we were all cut up from them, sorta like Grunkle Stan’s face whenever he tries shaving…”
For a moment or two, all the twins could do was lay on the ground as they recovered from the vines’ vicious attack. They didn’t even bother to get up and see if the bristles were still after them, but after a moment of much-needed stillness, they realized that the onslaught was over. For now.
“Are you ok?” Dipper finally asked. He noticed his vest had been ripped right off of him during their escape, but fortunately, his hat still remained.
“Yeah… I think so…” Mabel sat up, cringing at the lightly-bleeding cuts covering her legs and the holes torn across her sweater.
“Good,” Dipper said, though his relief soon turned to frustration. “Mabel, what were you thinking?! Those vines could have killed us!”
“Hey, how was I supposed to know they were alive?” Mabel retorted defensively as she rose to stand. “And you gotta admit; my grappling hook totally saved the day. Bet you’re glad I brought it along now, huh?”
“Ugh, whatever,” Dipper rolled his eyes as he also stood, brushing himself off. “Where are we anyway?”
The twins paused to take a glance around, noticing walls upon walls of brambles still surrounded them everywhere they looked. They created something of a dome, shielding the sky from sight save for only a single opening, allowing sunlight to leak in from above. But what that light was falling upon was much more interesting by far.
“Wait…” Dipper took a step closer to the impressive structure ahead of them. “Is that-”
“It is! It has to be!” Mabel beamed, already running toward it. “We found the fountain!”
Rose’s fountain was undeniably hers. At its peak stood a massive statue of the Gem who had built it, accompanied by four smaller statues sitting at each of the fountain’s four corners. It was quite a sight, but despite how beautiful it may have been, there was one disconcerting thing the twins quickly noticed about this fountain:
Nothing was flowing from it.
Before either of them could speak to it, however, Dipper and Mabel jolted in fear at the sound of a sudden boom behind them. They spun around to find a large boulder crashing into the clearing, seemingly out of nowhere. Its source soon became clear, however, as Pearl’s anxious voice echoed from the hole the rock had created. “We probably could have gotten in without hurdling a giant rock into Rose’s most precious sanctuary,” she said with a nervous chuckle. She clung close to Garnet, who still had her gauntlets summoned after punching the boulder to create a path. “But if you’re ok with it, I’m fine too!”
“Garnet! Pearl!” the twins exclaimed in relieved unison. They wasted no time rushing over to the Gems, only to stop short when Pearl met them halfway and wrapped them both into a tight, secure hug.
“Dipper! Mabel!” Pearl exclaimed, fretting over their minor injuries. “We’ve been searching all over for you two! Just look at you! What on earth happened?”
“The vines came alive and attacked us,” Mabel said as though it was the plainest thing to ever happen.
“ But… ” Dipper quickly cut in before Pearl could even begin to worry. “We escaped. All by ourselves. And we even found the fountain!”
“You sure did. Good job, both of you,” Garnet rested her hands on both of their heads, smiling. That smile quickly faded, however, as she stole a glance over at the fountain. “This isn’t right…”
Everyone followed her as she approached the fountain, giving them a better view over its walled side and into its deep, empty bowl. “The fountain isn’t running,” Garnet reported, adjusting her shades.
“W-what?!” Pearl gasped, alarmed. “What’s wrong with it?!”
“I’m not sure…” Garnet shook her head.
“Maybe the power’s out?” Mabel asked jokingly.
“Or maybe it’s just clogged somewhere,” Dipper suggested much more rationally.
“We’ll go find out,” Garnet turned back to the wall of brambles. “You two stay here.”
“Garnet, a-are you sure that’s such a good idea?” Pearl asked, frowning back toward the twins. “Last time we left them alone, they got hurt. We wouldn’t want that to happen again.”
“But Pearl, we’re fine,” Dipper countered.
“Yeah! These little cuts hardly hurt at all! See?” Mabel proved her point by giving her brother a light smack on the arm.
“Ow!” Dipper glared at her, annoyed. “Mabel, that would have hurt even without any of these cuts, you know.”
“Point is, maybe we could find a way to fix the fountain from here in case you guys don’t find one,” Mabel suggested with a pleading smile.
“I’m still not sure this is such a good idea…” Pearl said, though Garnet was quick to ease her nerves.
“They’ll be fine,” she assured, placing a hand on her teammate’s shoulder. “Now, let’s go.”
Though Pearl wanted to protest further, she ultimately sighed as she followed Garnet’s lead. “Be careful, you two!” she called to the twins as they disappeared into the cluster of vines once more. “And stay away from the brambles this time!”
“You don’t have to tell us twice!” Dipper shouted back.
“Garnet, are you really sure about this?” Pearl asked as soon as they were out of the twins’ earshot.
Garnet nodded. “They wanted to come so they could prove themselves to us. We might as well give them that chance.”
“But… but they’re human…”
“Pearl, you’ve been on this planet for hundreds of years. You should know not to underestimate humans by now.”
Pearl couldn’t really argue with that. So instead, the pair continued forging on ahead in search of answers. Back at the fountain, Dipper and Mabel were already doing the same as they split up to examine the structure from all angles. Indeed, it appeared to be as dry as a bone, and it likely had been for a very long time. Still, there had to be some way to get it working again, and if they could figure it out, then the Gems would see, without a doubt, that they were a little stronger, a little smarter, and a little braver than they seemed.
“Have you found anything yet?” Dipper called to Mabel from the other side of the fountain.
“Not yet!” she poked her head up behind the fountain wall.
“You’d think there’d be like a switch or a lever or something…” Dipper pondered, eyeing the fountain carefully in case he’d missed anything.
“Maybe the tiny statues of Rose have something to do with it,” Mabel pointed a thumb at one of the statues in question.
“Oh my gosh, Mabel! That’s actually a great idea!” Dipper exclaimed, quickly following this newfound lead.
“Like I keep telling you, bro-bro, you’re not the only one who comes up with good plans,” Mabel smirked as she followed her brother to the nearest statue. While much smaller than the one in the center, the sculpture of Rose was still roughly life-sized, dwarfing both of the twins by comparison. The statue’s expression was peaceful and gentle, and its hands were folded and covered with thick moss, dotted by small pink flowers.
“Hm…” Dipper perched a hand against his chin as he took this setup in.
“Whatcha thinkin’, Dippin-Dots?” Mabel asked as she came to stand alongside him.
“I’m thinking that maybe the moss on her hands might be covering up some way to activate the fountain…”
“Oh, sort of like a haunted house sort of deal… Well let’s get up there and brush that stuff off then!”
Dipper agreed, joining Mabel as she climbed onto the edge of the fountain beside the statue. The moss was surprisingly thick, but between both of them, they eventually managed to clear it off, only to find that the statue’s hands were disappointingly empty.
“Well, I guess that was a waste of time,” Dipper deadpanned, frowning.
“Eh, it’s no biggie,” Mabel shrugged. “We still have three more statues to try. And if all else fails, then maybe the big one will get it started.”
“It’s worth a try at least,” Dipper sighed, knowing this could take a while. While he was starting to climb down, however, he stopped short when he caught onto the sudden sound of an odd, low rumbling. “Do you hear that?”
Before Mabel could respond, a crash rattled the entire fountain, nearly knocking both twins off of the statue. They quickly spotted its source in the bowl of the fountain, from which masses of brambles were quickly starting to dart towards them.
“Not again!” Mabel yelped, frightened.
“Quick! Get off the statue!” Dipper warned, more than ready to jump the small distance to the ground. However, they were both a moment too slow as the vines caught up with them, latching onto their wrists and ankles before ripping them off the statue and dragging them down the side of the steep bowl. Miraculously, they only sustained a few more minor cuts and bruises on the way down, but they knew they wouldn’t be that lucky for much longer. Not when the vines looked like they were ready to finish the job.
Neither twin had much time to orient themselves after they landed at the bottom of the fountain. While the vines loosened enough to allow them to rip them off, that was hardly any consolation now that the writhing mass of brambles was only a few feet away from them.
“What are we gonna do!?” Mabel asked, worriedly watching as the vines continued creeping in.
“I… I, uh…” Dipper glanced around, desperately searching for any sort of solution. But with no clear way out and no real way to fight back or defend themselves, their options were few and thinning fast. “I don’t know!”
“What do you mean you don’t know?!” Mabel asked, her eyes wide. “You always have a plan or something to get us out of stuff like this! So come up with one!”
“It’s not that easy, Mabel! It’s not like we can just climb out of here before the vines get to us!”
“Then we need the Gems’ help!”
“Well, duh , but who knows where they are!?”
“So… what you’re saying is…?” Mabel trailed off at the sight of her brother’s defeated expression.
“I… I don’t have a plan this time…” Dipper sighed, ashamed for reasons far beyond just that. “I’m sorry, Mabel. This is all my fault. I just wanted the Gems to think we’re more than a bunch of dumb kids, but none of that even matters now. Turns out Pearl was right before; this really is too much for us…”
“Aw, Dipper…” Mabel frowned. Even despite the dire circumstances, she did what she could to comfort him as she rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Not that it really helped.
“I mean, let’s face it; who are we kidding?” Dipper let out a joyless, downright bitter laugh. “We’re not cut out for anything like this; every time we’ve been in trouble so far this summer, the Gems have always had to bail us out. Why did I think this time would be any different?”
“Bail us out…” Mabel echoed before drawing in a sharp gasp. “Wait, that’s it!” In an instant, she pulled her grappling hook back out. “Looks like you came up with a plan to save our butts after all, bro-bro!”
“What plan?” Dipper asked, not following. “That thing only barely helped us get away from the vines before. It won’t be able to help us hold them off forever.”
“It doesn’t need to,” Mabel gave her brother a sly wink as she aimed upwards. “It just needs to get us out of here.”
Just as the vines lurched towards them, Mabel grabbed Dipper and fired without a second thought. The hook sped straight up toward the main statue of Rose, latching tightly onto one of her hands. As soon as it did, the twins were yanked upward, and while it should have taken them out of the vines’ range, it didn’t. Instead, the brambles gave chase, practically defying gravity as they tried to wrangle the twins and drag them back down into the fountain below. They gasped, dismayed when they came to a grinding halt at the base of the hand, hanging only by thread above the raging sea of vines below.
And of course, just when it seemed like things couldn’t get any worse, that’s exactly when they did.
A sickening crack rang through the air, sending a chill down both of their spines. Dipper and Mabel glanced up, horrified to see the very hand they were hanging from beginning to splinter against the weight they were putting upon it. In fact, the entire fountain felt like it was rumbling–from what, the twins had no idea. All they really knew was that they were out of time, out of ideas, and most of all, out of luck.
And yet, right as the hand snapped off of the statue and they were sent hurtling back towards the vines, it became clear. Their luck hadn’t run out quite yet.
Out of nowhere, a massive surge of water burst from the statue’s eyes, raining down upon not only the twins, but the vines below as well. The moment the sparkling water flooded over them, the brambles were washed away, as if they were never even there at all. It took only seconds for the bowl to fill up, giving Dipper and Mabel a fortunately soft landing as they splashed into its warm, refreshing depths.
With the fountain reactivated, it was as though the entire garden sprung back to life. As healing waters poured down from the statue’s eyes like tears, the walls of brambles bloomed away into an abundance of gentle pink flowers. The blossoms rained down upon the fountain, which seemed to glisten in the open sunlight now hanging high above it.
It took both Dipper and Mabel a moment to regather their bearings after such a harrowing plunge. As soon as they shook off their initial shock, they quickly swam up to the surface to get some much-needed air. And once they did, they were met with quite a stunning sight: the garden, in all of its natural beauty and a fountain now freely flowing with the very water they’d come all this way to obtain.
“AHHHH! Dipper! We did it!” Mabel squealed, giving her brother a joyous hug. “We got the fountain to work again!”
“Huh?” Dipper lightly pushed her away just so her excitement wouldn’t end up waterlogging him. “Mabel, what are you talking about?”
“We broke the hand!” she pointed up at the statue’s broken arm, beaming. “That must have unclogged the fountain!”
“Wait… really?” Dipper asked. True, it was a bit hard to believe, and yet the evidence seemed to be clear. Against all odds, the fountain was indeed working again. “I… I guess we did! And look!” He lifted his arm up so Mabel could see that it was clear of all of the countless cuts and scratches he’d gotten during their battle against the vines. She gasped, awestruck as she checked her own arms, only to see that her wounds were likewise completely gone.
“Wow! I guess this stuff really is magical healing water after all!” Mabel said, thoroughly impressed.
“Oh thank goodness!” Pearl’s relieved cry caught the twins’ attention. Sure enough, the Gems had returned, standing over the fountain with their arms interlocked.
“Did you guys see what we did?” Mabel asked as she and Dipper swam to meet them at the fountain’s edge. “We figured out what was wrong, fixed it, and brought the fountain back to life!”
“And it was all thanks to Mabel’s grappling hook,” Dipper gave his sister a grateful smile.
“Don’t forget about that big brain of yours, bro-bro,” Mabel playfully elbowed him.
Despite their enthusiasm, Garnet and Pearl exchanged a confused glance at this claim. “I’m pretty sure me and Garnet unplugging a clogged chamber was what brought the fountain back to life,” Pearl informed with an awkward grin.
“You don’t think us breaking the statue’s hand had a little to do with that?” Dipper asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You broke the statue’s hand?!” Pearl gasped, scandalized. At least until Garnet stepped in to calm her down.
“You two may not have activated the fountain,” she said with a soft, proud smile. “But you still did a good job on the mission overall.”
“I don’t think we really did anything…” Mabel noted.
“You did what you were setting out to do all along,” Garnet reached her hands out to help them out of the water. “You showed us that you both can hold your own on a mission.”
“So…” Dipper began leadingly, hopefully. “The chances that you guys will bring us along on missions in the future are…?”
“Likely,” Garnet nodded, her smile widening just the smallest bit.
“Are you kids sure that you would want to go on a mission again?” Pearl asked almost coyly. “It seems like you had a bit of an… ordeal on this one…”
“Are you kidding? Of course we wanna come on more missions!” Mabel readily exclaimed.
“Yeah! This was amazing!” Dipper nodded in eager agreement. “You know, aside from the whole nearly-dying on more than one occasion thing. N-not that we can’t handle that–because we can! Obviously.”
Garnet snorted out a small laugh and even Pearl couldn’t help but chuckle. Despite everything this mission had put them through, the twins had managed to prove their mettle in all the ways that mattered most. Whatever doubts they may have had at the start of the summer didn’t seem to mean that much anymore. Now, it was more than clear: Dipper and Mabel were quite unlike almost any other humans they’d ever met before, and yet…
In some strange, distant way, they still felt almost familiar just the same.
They shook the thought from their heads as Garnet bottled up some of the fountain’s precious water. “We have what we came here for.” With no reason to linger any longer, she turned to lead the way back to the warp pad, bringing the twins’ inaugural mission to its successful end. “Let’s head back. Amethyst is counting on us.”
Steven jumped, startled at the sound of a sudden, shrill scream coming from downstairs. The leapt to his feet, tucking the journal away somewhere safe as he ran back down to the den as fast as he possibly could
“What’s going on?!” Steven cried, only to stop in his tracks at the alarming sight unfolding before him.
“We, uh, kind of have a situation here, dude…” Soos nodded to the mess of purple limbs, thinly stretched out and strewn all over the den. Steven’s eyes widened as he tracked the disjointed limbs back to Amethyst. Though she was literally all over the place, she still somehow had her head, which Stan loosely held onto to keep it from getting lost in the tangled limbs below.
“H-yeh, Nevets...” Amethyst spoke up, her voice weak to match her tired expression. “S-detrats gniyrc tey? Esuac I dluoc esu a elttil pleh…”
“What happened to her?” Steven asked as he carefully stepped over her scattered limbs.
“Why don’t you ask Stan?” Wendy shot her boss a withering look.
“First of all,” Stan huffed defensively. “I wanna say that this wasn’t my fault, I was just trying to fix Amethyst up using a little homemade remedy I picked up during my jewel smuggling days. Turns out using hot wax and a butter knife only ended up making things worse.”
“Oh man…” Steven frantically glanced around. “Amethyst, where’s your gem?”
She weakly nodded to the couch, where the base of her body still rested, including her gem. Steven hurried over to it, noticing that the crack in it had grown again thanks to Stan’s less-than-helpful intervention. With just how badly damaged it was already, Steven wasn’t sure how much longer it–or Amethyst for that matter–could possibly last.
“Oh… oh no…” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “What am I going to do? I… I don’t think I can fix this…”
“Aw, c’mon, dude, don’t give up so easily,” Soos rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Nobody can cry magic healing tears like you can. And I’m not just saying that either–though it’d be totally rad if I could. Just sayin’.”
“Y-you’re right,” Steven steadied himself the best he could. “I can’t give up! I gotta do this! For Amethyst…”
As Steven continued to try and force his tears to fall, Stan stole an apprehensive glance down at Amethyst’s head still resting in his hands. As bizarre as that was on its own, it honestly didn’t bother him as much as the reality of what might happen if Steven and his supposedly “magic” tears failed to come through. “You know, you can’t give up either,” he said to Amethyst, making sure none of the others could hear him. “F-for the kid’s sake, of course. ‘Cause if anything happens to you, then he really will be crying.”
“Ti's ton ekil I nac yllaer od hcum tuoba gnikcarc, Nats...” Amethyst sighed, glancing down. “Tub ti's ecin ot wonk uoy yllautca od erac, neve fi uoy nod't tca ekil ti.”
“Uh… well…” Stan cleared his throat. From the bittersweet grin she was sending his way, he was able to get just enough. And that’s exactly what he decided to give her in return: just enough. “It’d be pretty boring of you to… ya know… kick the bucket over something as dumb as this. Especially considering all of the crazy messes we used to get ourselves into back in the day.”
“Heh, haey esoht erew eht syad...” Amethyst let out a small, bitter laugh. “Sseug won si sa doog a emit sa yna ot llet uoy... woh hcum I hsiw sgniht dluoc eb ekil taht niaga...”
“You know I can’t understand a word you’re saying, right?” Stan said with a small, rueful smile.
“Haey… I wonk.”
They stopped short when they heard Steven’s loud, frustrated shout on the far side of the room. “Ugh! I can’t do it!” he flopped down onto the couch beside Amethyst’s body. “I can’t do anything right!”
Soos and Wendy exchanged a sympathetic glance at this. Even so, neither of them were equipped to do much to help him, and neither was Stan. In fact, the most he could do was carefully carry Amethyst’s head over to Steven, gently setting it down in his lap. While Steven knew they wanted to comfort him, it did the exact opposite instead. Because as he stared up at the frail, sad smile Amethyst was sending him, all Steven could think about was just how powerless, how useless he really was.
All he could think about was how he was failing someone so important to him when certainly his mother never would have.
“Amethyst, I’m so sorry…” he choked, barely even noticing the tears finally, finally building up behind his eyes. “I tried! I really did! But… I guess it wasn’t good enough… And now, I’m going to lose you, and it’s all my fault…”
Amethyst could even respond, her form glitched out again, weakening her even more. She let out a rough, coughing laugh as she grinned wanly up at Steven. “Hah, uoy c-care… about me…” she said, her words slow and slurred, yet somehow understandable.
Steven let out a small, tearless sob as he pulled as much of Amethyst as he could into a tight, desperate hug. The others all watched on in melancholy silence, though they suppressed a gasp as they noticed Steven at last begin to tear up.
“Please let me be a magic healer…” he whispered with every ounce of hope he had left. And with that, he closed his eyes and let his tears fall.
The first tear struck Amethyst’s gem squarely, landing right on the imposing crack. Steven gasped as he opened his eyes, a brief smile crossing his face as he waited for the stone to seal itself up again. And yet…
A second passed, and then another, and then another. And nothing changed at all. The gem was still as cracked as ever.
“Oh, come on!” Steven shouted, frustrated. Likewise, Stan, Soos, and Wendy shared a round of disappointed groans. Because if Steven’s tears couldn’t heal Amethyst at this point… then what could ?
No more than a second later, the front door of the shack burst open. The twins rushed in with Garnet and Pearl not too far behind, shattering the emerging grief filling the den. “We’re back!” Dipper announced with a satisfied grin.
“And we got healing tears!” Mabel proudly waved the bottle of fountain water Garnet had given her.
“At least somebody has them…” Steven bitterly muttered under his breath.
“Yeesh, you two look like you’ve been through the ringer,” Stan frowned as he looked over Dipper and Mabel, noticing the tatters and tears the vines had torn across their clothes. “What happened?”
“It’s a long story…” Dipper let out an exhausted sigh.
“My goodness! Look at how much bigger the crack got!” Pearl exclaimed as she hovered over Amethyst. “What were you doing all this time?!”
“I d-ndid't od n-gnihton...” Amethyst scowled, her voice still weak and wavering.
“Well, Amethyst, I hope you’re ready for some healing magic, ‘cause we’re about to bring it!” Mabel grinned, holding the bottle of healing water high over the cracked gem.
“Mabel, wait!” Dipper stopped her before she could haphazardly pour the precious water. “Be careful with that stuff!”
“Are you kidding? I’m being super careful!” Mabel scoffed as she shook the bottle up for good measure.
“Just let me do it,” Dipper said, reaching for it.
“No way! I wanna do it!” Mabel pulled the bottle out of his range. The twins continued to grapple for it, until it inevitably slipped out of their hands. For a breathless beat, the water fell toward the ground, though fortunately, Garnet managed to catch it just in the nick of time.
“Careful,” she advised before handing the bottle off to Steven instead. He frowned as he examined the pale pink liquid inside, noticing how it shimmered thanks to the magic contained within it. Magic that had once been his mother’s. Magic that would never be his.
His heart ached at the thought, but he forced himself to focus on Amethyst instead, for now. He slowly, carefully poured the water directly onto her gem, and sure enough, it began to work upon contact. The water and the gemstone alike took on a radiant glow, and the gathered group watched in marveled awe as the crack slowly but surely began to seal itself up and smooth over. Within seconds, every last trace of damage was gone, to Amethyst’s gem and her body alike as she finally managed to pull herself back together.
With her gem repaired and her strength renewed, Amethyst leapt off the couch with a triumphant cheer, pulling Steven into a celebratory hug. “Alright! Look at this guy, saving my life and junk!”
“Come on, Amethyst,” Steven gently pushed away from her. “You know it wasn’t really me.”
“Hey, did you guys bring back any more of that healing water?” Stan asked Garnet and Pearl. “Cause I think we could capitalize big time on something like this. And by we, I of course mean me .”
“Aw, don’t be so down, Steven,” Wendy said with an encouraging smile. “At least you finally managed to get yourself to cry. That’s gotta count for something, right?”
“Yeah, but they weren’t healing tears…” Steven sighed, dejected.
“Oh, Steven…” Pearl placed a hand on his shoulder, as if to soften the brutal blow of what she had to tell him next. “Of course you don’t have healing tears! You’ll never have any real magic powers, and we don’t want anything else to do with you!”
“She didn’t really say that, did she?” Connie asked in disbelief.
“No, she didn’t,” Dipper corrected. “Pearl and Garnet were actually super supportive. Weren’t they, Steven?”
“Yeah, but that’s what it felt like…” Steven heaved a heavy sigh.
“Is that why you’ve been feeling so low?” Connie frowned, concerned.
Steven simply shrugged, somehow feeling even worse now that the story was done. “Aw, cheer up, Steven!” Mabel encouraged. “So what if you don’t have healing tears? That’s not the worst thing in the world, is it?”
“I guess not…”
Connie bit her lip, unsure of what to say, what to do to help. The most she could manage was handing his mostly empty juice box back over to him, for whatever little that might’ve meant. “Um… you can have your juice back.”
“Nah, it’s ok,” Steven waved the box away. “It’s just… Everyone expects me to be like my mom… What if I never get those powers?”
“Then you’ll be like us,” Connie reassured as Dipper and Mabel nodded their sincere agreement. “That’s not so bad.”
“Yeah, and you still have the shield thing, don’t you?” Dipper added with a smile. “That’s pretty cool.”
“And even if you didn’t, we’d still hang out with you, Steven,” Mabel said warmly. “You’re the best!”
“B-but… if I don’t have powers, then I can’t hang out with Amethyst or Garnet or Pearl!” Steven gripped his pants tightly as tears began to well up in his eyes. “And I-I can’t go on missions, and… and…”
Steven trailed off when he realized that Connie had placed her hand over his. Dipper and Mabel joined her, until all of their hands were piled firmly, supportively on top of his.
“You don’t need any powers to be here with us,” Connie said, leaning just a bit closer to him. Steven stared between his trio of friends, almost unaware of the rush of sudden warmth flooding his face. That warmth only seemed to intensify as Connie continued drawing toward him, a warm summer breeze tussling her hair. Something was about to happen here, though Steven wasn’t sure what.
And in the end, he never got to find out either.
Suddenly, Connie pulled back, pressing a hand to her temple as she let out a sharp groan. “Ow!” she winced against her newfound migraine.
“What’s wrong?” Steven asked, worried.
“I think-” she cut herself off, squinting. “There’s just—something’s wrong with my glasses…” With the hopes of getting rid of her headache, Connie removed her glasses, only to gasp when she realized just how startlingly clear the world around her was. Clear in a way it never was without her glasses. “My… my eyes! I-I can see!”
“What?!” Steven, Dipper, and Mabel all exclaimed, shocked.
“I can see without my glasses!” Connie confirmed, just as dumbfounded as they were.
“Whoa! Are you secretly wearing contacts, Connie?” Mabel asked.
“No!” Connie shook her head, still reeling. “I’ve never even worn contacts before! I don’t understand-”
“Wait!” Steven gasped as the realization struck him. It couldn’t be true… could it? Except… what else could it be? “What if… D-did... Did I just heal your eyes?!”
“But how would that even happen?” Dipper asked, completely confused. “You weren’t even crying and even if you had been, your tears didn’t work on Amethyst! What could have…?”
He trailed off as everyone slowly turned their gaze towards the empty juice box Connie was still holding. The water, or backwash, still clinging to its straw, sparkled in the sunlight, giving the kids a pretty good answer as to how her eyes had been so miraculously healed.
“The juice box!” Steven balked as Connie swiftly dropped the box. “I don’t have healing tears! I have healing spit !”
“Gross…” Dipper cringed, disgusted.
“Cool!” Mabel grinned, delighted.
“What am I going to tell my parents?!” Connie asked. “What am I going to tell my optometrist?!”
“I don’t even know!” Steven laughed as he joyously jumped to his feet. “Oh, thank you, Connie!” Unable to contain his excitement, he warmly embraced her, not even noticing just how stunned she truly was.
“Um… y-you’re welcome?” she replied, unsure of if she should be happy or terrified.
“Steven, we have to go tell the Gems!” Mabel excitedly pulled Dipper to his feet along with her. “They’ll flip out over this!”
“And if they don’t at least they’ll be as confused as we are,” Dipper said, still a touch more baffled than elated.
“Yeah!” Steven agreed, already running over to Lion. “They’re never gonna believe this! Aren’t you coming, Connie?”
“Uh… I’ll catch up with you guys…” Connie said, glancing down at her glasses.
“Ok! See you later!” Steven cheerfully bid her farewell as he and the twins boarded Lion and began the trek down the hill.
Connie stood as she watched them go, taking in a deep breath as she tried to take it all in. She had known from the moment she met Steven that he was special, but this was something on a whole other level. For a moment, she had to stop and simply ponder over how their friendship had changed seemingly everything for her. Before, she had always been quiet, sheltered, reserved. Yet Steven had somehow helped her open up, guiding her out of the shell she had seemed to live her entire life in. His confidence, his cheerfulness, his spirit always seemed to inspire her, to invigorate her, to remind her that the world was filled with adventure, excitement, even magic.
And now, his spit had healed her eyes, through what she could only describe as an indirect kiss. She wasn’t sure if she really understood it, or if she really wanted to. But what she did understand was that something was different now. She was different now. She couldn’t explain it, but deep down she knew.
So she stayed silent as she stood alone on the hill, the wind in her hair, her head full of thoughts, her heart charged with emotions. After a moment, she took her glasses and popped the pink lenses out of them before putting them back on her face.
Because after all, for as much as things tend to change, they really do stay the same.
Notes:
Next time, the kids uncover the secrets of the Crystal Temple while the Crystal Gems uncover a different kind of secret entirely...
Chapter 10: Gems and Journals
Summary:
While the kids explore the temple, the Gems uncover an alarming secret...
Notes:
Happy new year, all! We're back at it with another chapter that I really liked in old UF that I really didn't change up all too much because of that fact. What can I say? It was a good original chapter in the old fic, its a good original chapter here. I don't have too much else to say other than the Gems are about to discover a certain journal and they'll react to it about as well as you think they might. With all that said, let's get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
OOXVQ PLPSM, WBRRXHNVA WZARM
UBN'E OCLXRT HQON PBU SJJY YRACM
“3… 2… 1… GOLF!”
That was all it took to launch Steven and Mabel into an intense round of Golf Quest Mini: Battle Royale. From their spot on the bed above them, Dipper and Connie watched on as the pair fiercely duked it out, striving to make it under par as quickly as possible.
“Oh no! A wild windmill appeared!” Mabel gasped as she frantically yanked her controller up.
“Whoever beats it has their score go back to 0!” Steven began mashing buttons. “Come on, come on, I’m way too close to par to lose this one!”
“Sorry, Steven, but it looks like I’m gonna sink this hole-in-one!” Mabel said as she landed the final blow on the windmill, reducing her score back to a perfect zero. Steven let out a defeated groan as he continued on, still trying what he could to come out on top.
“Wow! Mabel is really good at this!” Connie noted to Dipper. “Isn’t this her first time playing this?”
“Yeah, but mini-golf is like Mabel’s element,” he replied, grinning. “There’s no beating her at it. In real life or in video games.”
“Yes! I won!” Mabel proudly proclaimed. A triumphant tune played from the game as her character knocked Steven’s off the screen with a hearty whack of her golf club. “Pay up, Universe!”
“Aw, man…” Steven signed as he handed Mabel a huge bag of gummy worms.
“Mabel, please don’t eat all of those in one sitting,” Dipper advised. “You haven’t forgotten about the funnel cake incident, have you?”
“Pfft, please, bro-bro,” Mabel scoffed as she scooped a large handful of gummy worms out of the bag. “This will be nothing like the funnel cake incident. I’ve learned a thing or two about self-control since then.”
“What’s the story behind the ‘funnel cake incident’?” Connie asked, morbidly intrigued.
“Believe me,” Dipper crossed his arms. “You don’t wanna know.”
“So, Steven…” Mabel flashed him a challenging grin after her first round of worms. “Up for another round against the champ?”
“I would, but my thumbs are a little sore after that last one,” Steven admitted. “But we could do something else! I’m sure we’ll run into some sort of cool or magical thing if we went into town.”
“Yeah!” Connie eagerly agreed. “I’ve been wanting to go on another adventure with you guys! We may almost die every time we go on one, but I gotta admit: they’re really fun.”
“Woo! Let’s go on a crazy fun mystery hunt!” Mabel jumped up, ready to go. “Or a high-stakes magic hunt. Whatever we run into first.”
“Why go out hoping we run into a mystery when we have a whole book full of them?” Dipper grinned as he pulled the journal out of his vest. “We could just pick something out of here and go looking for it. I’ve been meaning to add onto the notes about some of the creatures in here anyway.”
“You’ve been adding your own notes to it?” Steven asked as they all crowded around to look at the journal. “That’s really cool, Dipper!”
“Eh, it's not that big of a deal,” Dipper chuckled, stifling a bit of a flustered blush. “It’s just a few pages in the back, nothing all that impressive. Not like everything the author wrote about.” To prove his point, he began flipping through the author’s entries, where many of the diverse and strange oddities of Gravity Falls were documented in careful detail. And somewhere in those entries, the kids’ next adventure certainly awaited.
“Floating eyeballs!” Steven exclaimed, amazed at the book’s illustration of them. “I bet it wouldn’t be too hard to spot them!”
“Giant vampire bats?!” Mabel gasped, stars in her eyes. “Yes!”
“No,” Dipper quickly turned her down. “I’ve read about them and they don’t turn into sparkling shirtless vampires, if that’s what you’re hoping for.”
“Darn it!”
“How about barf fairies?” Connie suggested. She quickly cringed away from the idea, however, upon actually saying it out loud.“On second thought… never mind.”
“The portal potty?” Steven laughed. “That sounds like fun! And we wouldn’t have to worry about taking a bathroom break until we found it.”
“We could always go looking for a hawktopus!” Mabel squinted to read what little the journal described about it. “Looks like Mr. Author didn’t write anything down about it ‘cause it's ‘too stupid to study’. Huh, I wonder why.”
“I’m sure he had his reasons,” Dipper concluded. “Maybe we should just go looking for-”
He swiftly stopped short the second the front door suddenly flew open. As the others whipped around, Dipper quickly shoved the journal out of sight, already anticipating one of the Gems. His hunch was right as Amethyst barged in, shapeshifted into a police officer wielding a water gun.
“Dumb police!” she bellowed in a deep voice, pointing her weapon at the kids up on the loft. “Uh… you guys are dumb!” Before they could even brace themselves, Amethyst doused them all, laughing mischievously all the while. While Steven and Mabel gladly accepted the soaking, Dipper and Connie did what they could to shield themselves against the watery blast.
“Amethyst!” Pearl scolded as she and Garnet stepped into the house a moment later. “Stop that this ins-”
She was cut off when Amethyst turned to her, using her water gun to drench her fellow Gems in turn. While Garnet was hardly phased, Pearl didn’t hesitate to show her annoyance. “Amethyst!”
“Oh man, I totally got all of you!” Amethyst smirked as she shapeshifted back into her usual form. “Especially you guys!” she turned back to the loft. “You should have seen your faces!”
“Sorry, kids,” Pearl apologized as she wrung out her sash. “I tried to stop her before she came in, but as usual, she wouldn’t listen.”
“Eh, no worries. That actually felt pretty good!” Mabel chuckled as she poked at her own sopping sweater.
“Speak for yourself,” Dipper muttered as he shook the water out of his vest.
“So what are you guys up to today?” Amethyst asked. “Anything exciting ?”
“Well,” Steven began. “We were gonna go out and look for some kind of monster or magical creature using the j-”
“Just o-our intuition and luck!” Dipper quickly interrupted, slapping a hand over Steven’s mouth just in time. When the Gems met him with a mutually confused glance, he did his best to play it off with a bout of awkward laughter. “Y-you know… like you do…”
“Ok…” Pearl said after a beat of silence. “Well, if you are going monster hunting, please be careful out there! There are plenty of perfectly benign creatures in Gravity Falls, true, but there are even more ravenous, blood thirsty ones.”
“Are there any that you guys would recommend?” Connie asked.
“Just don’t go looking for a leprecorn,” Garnet advised as she led the way to the temple door. “It’s not worth the annoyance.”
“And try not to get killed or anything,” Amethyst added. “We wouldn’t want to have to come save your butts again .”
“Amethyst!” Pearl chastised. Amethyst ignored her disapproving glare as she slipped into the temple with a sly laugh. “She didn’t mean that. If you four do get into any trouble, we’ll be more than happy to come and save you.”
“How will you guys know if we get into trouble?” Mabel asked, frowning.
“We’ll know,” Garnet adjusted her shades as she opened her own door to the temple and headed inside.
“Just be sure to exercise the proper amount of caution and you should be fine,” Pearl assured, using her gem to open her door next. “Oh, and take plenty of water with you! It’s hot out and you don’t want to get dehydrated.”
“Don’t worry, Pearl!” Steven called after her. “We will!”
“Very good,” Pearl nodded with a satisfied smile. “Have fun!”
With one final wave, the temple door sealed shut, leaving the kids alone once more. “That was too close…” Dipper muttered as he pulled the journal back out.
“Now that’s something I’d like to investigate…” Connie mused, still looking at the temple door.
“What? The temple?” Steven asked.
“Yes!” Mabel enthusiastically agreed. “The temple has got to be one of the most mysterious, coolest things in Gravity Falls! Who knows what kinda stuff is in there?”
“We don’t, because the Gems said we’re not allowed inside, remember?” Dipper said, scowling. “Apparently it’s ‘too dangerous for humans’.”
“Dangerous-schmangerous!” Mabel scoffed. “After everything that’s happened this summer so far, it couldn’t be too scary, could it?”
“Plus, why would the Gems live in there if it was so risky?” Connie wondered.
“Exactly!” Dipper agreed. “It’s so weird, isn’t it? Like the Gems only told us to stay out of there because they’re hiding something they don’t want us to see.”
“Aw, come on guys,” Steven cut in, frowning. “The Gems aren’t hiding anything! They probably just want their privacy and we should respect that. I mean, you wouldn’t want someone barging into your house without permission, right?”
“Steven…” Dipper groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How many times are we gonna have to go through this?”
“Through what?”
“You defending the Gems even though they’re clearly keeping something from you,” Dipper huffed as he glanced over at the temple door. “Don’t you think you deserve to know whatever that something is?”
Steven bit his lip; he desperately didn’t want to go down this road with Dipper again, not after what happened during the search for the second Light Cannon. And yet… “W-well, don’t you think they deserve to know about the journal? You still haven’t told them about it yet, even though you promised you would…”
“W-well, yeah, but… this isn’t about the journal,” Dipper shook his head as he set the book aside. “It’s about the temple-”
“And all of the super-secret magical stuff the Gems are keeping stowed away in there!” Mabel added with a zealous grin.
“Even you have to be at least a little curious about what’s in there, Steven,” Connie placed a hand on his shoulder. And if the twins’ coaxing wasn’t enough to nudge Steven just a bit closer onto their side of the debate, then that certainly was.
“I am, it’s just…” he looked away from his friends, anxious. “I can’t even get in there. My gem won’t open the door.”
“I’m sure you could do it if you tried, Steven,” Connie offered him an encouraging smile. “I mean, you healed my eyes even though you thought you couldn’t. How is that any different from opening up a door?”
“Yeah!” Mabel quickly launched into a round of supportive cheers. “Steven! Steven!”
Steven kept his gaze averted, even when Dipper and Connie joined in on the chant. If he was being with himself, he’d always wanted a peek inside that mysterious door. But he knew better, just as he knew the warnings the Gems had always given him about venturing inside. It was too dangerous for him, too risky, too… too much for someone like him. Someone so young and inexperienced, someone who barely even knew how to use his burgeoning powers, someone who couldn’t quite be considered a full-fledged Crystal Gem yet–
Or could he?
After all, he had summoned his shield, he had healed Connie’s eyes, he was unlocking more of his gem’s powers with each passing day. So, who’s to say he couldn’t find a way to unlock–quite literally–the temple door too?
“Ok, ok!” Steven rose to stand. “I’ll try it. But I don’t know if it’s gonna work.”
“Come on, Steven, you got this,” Dipper said with a small, reassuring smile. “If you can’t do this, no one can. Figuratively and literally–after all, you’re the only one of us who possibly could do this.”
“Uh… thanks?” Steven frowned, confused. Even so, he led the way down from the loft, taking a stance just past the warp pad in front of the temple gate. He tried his best not to let his nerves get the better of him, to not let the fact that his friends were all counting on him weigh too heavy upon his shoulders. Instead, he lifted his shirt up and aimed his gem at the door, staring hard at its replica resting at the top of the door’s star. “Come on…” he pleaded with both the door and his gem alike. “Open!”
The others all held their breath in anticipation while they stared at the door. And yet, despite their shared hope, it didn’t budge in the slightest, a disappointing reality that hit Steven the hardest out of any of them.
“Oh, come on!” he huffed, frustrated. “I could have sworn I was starting to feel some sort of magic!”
“Aw, it’s ok, Steven,” Mabel smiled as she rested a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll totally get it next time! Just like you did with your healing spit!”
“But this is different!” Steven pulled his shoulder away. “You guys were all counting on me, and I let you all down. No wonder the Gems never let me in on anything… I’ll never be like them or my mom…”
“Steven, you know that’s not true,” Connie shook her head.
“Yeah,” Dipper added just as sincerely. “You’re just… It’s sort of like…” He trailed off for a moment before coming up with something he hoped might help. “Maybe you’re just a bit of a… late bloomer.”
“Pfft, yeah, you would know, Dipper,” Mabel teased, elbowing her brother.
“Not helping,” he swiftly, staunchly shut her down.
“The point is,” Connie brought the conversation back on track as she took Steven’s hand. “You’ll get there, Steven. It might just take some time. And if it does, then don’t worry about it. We’ll be here with you for every step of the way.”
The twins nodded their wholehearted agreement and Steven couldn’t help but smile as he wiped away the tears that were starting to come. “Thanks, you guys. I… I needed that,” he said warmly. “And you’re right, Connie. I can’t give up! I just have to keep trying! And then someday, I’ll finally be a full-fledged Crystal Gem!” He grinned boldly as he concluded his speech, though his smile faded as he realized the others weren’t looking at him at all. Instead, they were staring straight behind him, their eyes wide in shock and disbelief as a strange pink light fell over them all. “Uh… guys?” Steven asked, confused. He quickly realized where their awe was coming from, however, when Dipper turned him around to face the temple gate. “Whoa…”
The top gemstone on the door’s star was, against all odds, glowing a bright shade of pink. Steven quickly pulled his shirt up again to confirm that his own gem was doing the same. A gentle chime sounded as the door began to peel back from the center, until it was completely gone. The kids gaped at the sight of what awaited them just beyond the gate. A vast, pink, cloudy expanse, now finally within their reach.
“AHHH!” Mabel squealed as she excitedly shook Steven by his shoulders. “Steven! You did it! You opened the door!”
“I… guess I did!” Steven broke into a wide, beaming grin. “I don’t know how I did it, but I did it!”
“See? We knew you could do it,” Connie chuckled, gently nudging him.
“Look at all this! It’s incredible!” Dipper took a step closer to the open door and glanced inside. “It’s like some sort of endless sky in there. We have to go check it out!”
“B-but the Gems are in there!” Steven protested. “What if they catch us?”
“Eh, the temple’s huge,” Mabel shrugged. “Or at least it looks like it is from the outside. We probably won’t even run into the Gems at all.”
“And if we do, then maybe they won’t be so mad,” Connie said. “Who knows? They might even be proud that you opened the door on your own.”
“I hope so…” Steven frowned, worried. Still, as he looked to the door again, he couldn’t deny how enticing it was. The mystery they’d been hoping for stood wide open right in front of them. How could he spoil their fun by passing it up? “Well… I guess there’s no harm in just looking around…”
“That’s the spirit!” Mabel exclaimed as she gave Steven a light push towards the door. “Now let’s go! I’m so excited, I can hardly wait!”
Dipper and Connie couldn’t deny they were on the same page as they quickly followed after the pair. None of them were quite sure about what they might find beyond the temple door, but as far as they were concerned, that was all part of the fun. With an entirely new adventure laying ahead of them, the kids stepped past the temple gate together–
And in doing so, they unknowingly left a certain journal behind.
From the moment the kids crossed the temple threshold, they felt like they were stepping straight into a dream. They entered a sea of puffy pink clouds, somehow walking well upon the seemingly endless sky. In fact, the only thing that broke that sky was the very door they came through; or at least it did until, in a quick, abrupt flash, the door disappeared altogether, leaving no other exit in sight.
“That can’t be good,” Dipper tensed up, frowning.
“Eh, I’m sure we’ll be able to get out of here somehow,” Mabel shrugged, unconcerned. “Can’t you just reopen the door for us again when we want to leave, Steven?”
“I don’t know,” Steven shrugged. While he would have normally been worried, he couldn’t seem to find space for it as he took another look around the pleasantly pastel cloudscape. “But for now, look at all this! It's huge in here!”
“And so empty…” Connie mused, taking a step forward. “This can’t be all there is, can it?”
“It couldn’t be,” Dipper shook his head. “I mean, what would the Gems even use a giant empty room like this for anyway?”
“Maybe they use it to practice skydiving!” Mabel exclaimed. To prove her point, she leapt into the air before quickly plummeting and belly flopping onto the clouds beneath her. “Ah! What a soft landing!”
“Oh, I wanna try!” Steven grinned. However, as soon as he said this, he suddenly found himself standing atop a high platform that had just appeared completely out of nowhere. Steven gasped as he looked down at the others, who were all staring up at him in confusion.
“Whoa… How’d you do that, Steven?” Connie called up to him.
“I have no idea,” Steven said as his awe shifted into a smile. “But this is perfect! Geronimo!” With an excited laugh, he leapt from his high perch, letting gravity pull him down into a freefall. His adrenaline soon turned to fear as he realized just how fast his descent really was. The cloudy ground might have been soft, true, but he wasn’t sure if it would be enough to cushion a fall like this one.
“O-ok! This might not have been the best idea!” Steven cried, covering his eyes. “I-I wish I had a parachute!” The moment that wish rang into the air, Steven felt a sharp, sudden tug. Shakily, he glanced up, finding, against all odds, a parachute strapped to his back as it slowly carried him back down. As soon as he landed, the parachute vanished into a puff of clouds, much like the platform had when Steven jumped off of it.
“Wow! That was crazy awesome!” Mabel grinned, stars in her eyes. “How’d you know that parachute thing would work?”
“I didn’t,” Steven admitted. “I just said it and it appeared! And I’m really glad it did. I thought I was a goner for a second there.”
“It’s almost like… like the room itself could hear what you wanted!” Connie theorized.
“But that doesn’t make any sense…” Dipper countered, incredulous. “It’s just a room. How can it know what anyone wants, much less give it to them?”
“It’s called magic , Dipper,” Mabel pointed out. “And it’s my turn to try it! Room, can I please have a litter of adorable puppies to play with? Oh, and can they have butterfly wings? And rainbow polka dots? Please?” She held her arms out, waiting for puppies to appear in them. And yet… the room didn’t seem to respond to her as readily as it had to Steven. “Hey, what gives? Where are my flying polka-dot puppies at?”
“Maybe something like that is too much for the room to handle?” Connie guessed.
“Maybe…” Steven mused thoughtfully. “Let me try. Room, can we get some puppies with butterfly wings and rainbow polka-dots?”
“That sparkle!” Mabel added.
“That sparkle.” Sure enough, as soon as Steven finished this request, the magical puppies popped into existence, flying around the room as they glittered and barked happily.
Mabel could hardly contain her excitement as she squealed and joyfully pulled several of the puppies into her arms, hugging them tight. “Yes! This is literally everything I have ever wanted!”
“This is just weird…” Dipper shook his head. “And I’m not just talking about the flying rainbow puppies. Though that’s weird too.”
“I think you mean adorable !” Mabel giggled as one of the puppies licked her cheek.
“The room only seems to grant your requests, Steven,” Dipper ignored his sister and continued. “So… maybe it only responds to Gems?”
“I’m not sure…” Steven frowned. “I mean, each one of the Gems has their own door that goes into the temple, but I’ve never seen the one that opened for me before… I do remember Pearl talking about how my mom used to have her own room in here, but nobody’s been able to get into it since she’s been gone. So maybe, since I used her gem to open it, this is her room!”
“Then that would explain why the room only listens to you!” Connie concluded. “Your gem must be connected to it in some way. It thinks you’re Rose!”
“Whoa…” Steven glanced down at the gem on his stomach. “I… don’t really know how to feel about that.”
“I guess that makes about as much sense as anything else…” Dipper took another look around the impossibly vast sky surrounding them. “Still, you gotta wonder how much this room can really do…”
“We can always find out,” Steven said with an eager grin.
“Yes!” Mabel agreed. “More puppies!”
“Actually, I was thinking something along the lines of… quadruple bunk-beds!” Steven exclaimed. A four tiered-bunk bed appeared underneath the kids, raising them all up as they sat on top together. “With slides! Water slides!” Steven added. At this request, four long, twisting waterslides jutted out from each side of the bed. Without skipping a beat, the kids jumped onto them, laughing all the way down. Each slide launched them high into the air, but none of them had to worry about a rough landing thanks to Steven’s next request: “Trampolines!” Those trampolines appeared just below each of the kids right as they landed, allowing them to bounce safely back onto the ground.
“Whoo!” Mabel happily flopped into the clouds. “Let’s do that again!”
“Steven, this is great!” Dipper exclaimed, grinning. “You can get literally anything you ask for in here! What do you have in mind next?”
“Oh, uh…. Hm…” Steven paused to ponder this. In the end, he simply blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “A tiny floating whale!”
Said tiny floating whale proofed into existence, small and pink and smiling as it let out a light bellow. Steven and Mabel both fawned over the adorable creature and even Dipper and Connie shared a laugh as it lazily glided past them. It was even more proof that the room could conjure up just about anything, from the simplest requests to the most complex. Or so it seemed.
“You know, as awesome as all this is, I sure am hungry,” Steven said as the tiny floating whale came to rest on his shoulder. Right on cue, a donut appeared out of thin air, floating right next to him. “Well, don’t mind if I do!” he laughed, grabbing the donut. “In fact, donuts for everyone!” At Steven’s command, three more donuts materialized in front of Dipper, Mabel, and Connie, who happily took the treats. However, they all soon found out these donuts weren’t exactly edible as they all poofed away as soon as they tried to eat them.
“Aw, what?” Mabel frowned as she waved her hand around the space where the donut once was. “Come on! I was really looking forward to that donut!”
“Maybe I should have been more specific…” Steven said. “Room, we want real donuts!”
Another round of donuts appeared, nearly identical to the first. And while the kids were expecting them to be tangible, once again, they were proven wrong when they tried taking a bite.
“This is really weird…” Connie tapped her chin. “I guess the room can’t make food for some reason.”
“Well, everything the room makes is made out of clouds…” Dipper mused. “So that might have something to do with it.”
“Aw, well. So what if we can use the room to make food?” Mabel shrugged. “It can still do anything else, right Steven?”
“Right!” Steven agreed as he gave the tiny floating whale a hearty high five. “And since we can do anything, we might as well get started with some… fireworks!” Without missing a beat, a grand fireworks display erupted in the pink skies above. The kids were able to enjoy it in comfort on the fluffy couch Steven called upon. Even if they knew none of it was truly real, none of them really minded all that much.
Because as fake as everything in this dreamlike world of clouds might have been, the memories they were making there together were anything but.
The otherwise empty house was suddenly filled with the chime of the temple door opening first. Followed by Pearl angrily scolding Amethyst soon after.
“Amethyst, how many times have I told you to stop stealing my swords?!” Pearl held one of her many prized blades close as she emerged from Amethyst’s room.
“I didn’t steal it,” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “Your junk always falls down into my room! That’s what you get for having so many dumb fountains all over yours.”
“Oh please,” Pearl scoffed. “You know I keep the majority of my collection in the center spire, all organized by size, shape, and sharpness. It’s a very effective system, unlike the complete disaster that is your room.”
“I have a system.”
“If by system, you mean an awful, awful mess, then you certainly do. You should really let me clean it for you sometime.”
“Like that’s ever gonna happen.”
Pearl gripped her sword a bit tighter, scowling down at Amethyst. She was just about to toss out a biting retort, but before she could, the temple door opened upon once again to allow Garnet to step out.
“Oh, Garnet! I’m glad you’re here,” Pearl rushed to cling onto her arm. “Can you believe it? Amethyst was in my room, taking one of my swords again .”
“I didn’t take nothin’,” Amethyst protested with a sullen pout.
“You didn’t take anything ,” Pearl corrected her grammar.
“Exactly!”
“Ugh!” Pearl groaned, exasperated. “Garnet, can you please tell her-”
“Pearl,” Garnet finally spoke up. “Nobody likes a tattle-tale.”
Against Pearl’s flustered surprise, Amethyst cracked up, glad to have somehow come out on top thanks to Garnet. Her satisfied smile stuck around even as she stole a glance up to the now-empty loft. “Huh, I guess the kids went mystery hunting after all,” she noted. “Kinda weird they left all their stuff here though.”
“Don’t go raiding through their things,” Garnet calmly instructed as Amethyst scurried up to take a look.
“I wasn’t going to,” Amethyst replied. “I was just gonna swipe a few of these gummy worms. And by a few, I mean the whole bag.” She grinned greedily as she grabbed the bag of candy, though she paused before heading back down after noticing a rather strange looking book lying on the nearby bed.
“Whoa… what’s that thing?” Her curiosity got the better of her as she grabbed the book to get a better look at it. Though she’d never been much into reading “human books”, she couldn’t deny that the rugged, red leather tome was interesting at least on some level. Even if she couldn’t exactly say how.
“Hey, you guys!” Amethyst ran downstairs, holding the book up high. “Check this old book out!”
“Didn’t Garnet just tell you not to root through the kids’ things?” Pearl asked disapprovingly.
“Sheesh, Pearl, you’re just on a roll with accusing me of things I didn’t do today, aren’t you?” Amethyst stuck her tongue out before turning her attention back to the book. “But forget about that; look at this crazy thing! I mean, a six fingered hand?” She chuckled as she shapeshifted an extra finger onto her hand, putting it over the one on the book. “You gotta admit, that’s pretty cool.”
“Let me see that,” Pearl snatched the book away from her. She wasn’t anywhere near as impressed as Amethyst as she looked it up and down and turned it over in her hands. “What kind of book is this? It doesn’t even have a title! Unless… 3 is its title, but what kind of a title is that?”
“Maybe you’d find out if you opened it up,” Garnet deadpanned.
“I-I was just about to do that!” Pearl fumbled to crack the book open to its first page. “Hm… Well, the name of its author is mysteriously missing…”
“Looks like the guy tore it out or something,” Amethyst said. “Wonder why he’d do that… And what’s that thing on the other page say…? ‘ Ad astra per aspera ’? What the heck does that mean?”
“Oh, that’s Latin for ‘ to the stars through difficulties ’!” Pearl smiled. “Whoever did write this must have been very well read.”
Garnet took the book next, turning the page as she silently read over the first entry “Hm…” she mused, her expression unreadable as she continued flipping through.
“What’s up, G?” Amethyst asked.
“This book seems familiar,” she replied, handing it back to Pearl. “I can’t pinpoint how, but it’s like… I’ve seen it before somewhere.”
“You’re right…” Pearl frowned. “Every page details a different oddity of Gravity Falls! And all of these illustrations, these descriptions… none of them seem like they’re very new at all…”
“Yeah, probably ‘cause we’ve run into most of these things before,” Amethyst took the book again. “I mean, gnomes, ghosts, the bottomless pit, the abominable bro-man, that weird stomach-faced duck thing… We’ve been here in Gravity Falls so long that all this stuff is normal for us now. But still… I do get what you guys are saying… All of the stuff written in here is pretty dang familiar…”
“But it doesn’t make any sense…” Pearl shook her head, watching Amethyst continue to slowly flip through it. “Wouldn’t we remember seeing something this comprehensive before? Shouldn’t we-”
Her question came to a stark halt as Amethyst turned the next page, revealing something that made all three Gems go stiff and silent. Until now, the book’s entries had all detailed the mysterious facets of Gravity Falls. But suddenly, the Gems were met with vivid illustrations and in-depth descriptions of themselves . While the depictions were clearly from years ago, there was no denying it. Each of them had a full page about them, listing their skills, abilities, powers, and so much more. Almost everything there was to know about them was laid plainly out on the pages before them, for anyone, anyone to read.
And considering where they’d found the book at, it was clear someone already had .
“W-what is all this?!” Pearl asked, completely appalled as she ripped the book away from Amethyst. “Why is there so much information in here about us ?!”
“Not just us,” Garnet scowled, her hands curling into fists. “About Gem monsters, the temple, and-”
“Rose…” All three Gems spoke their leader’s name in solemn unison when they arrived at a page solely focused on her.
While Garnet and Amethyst were surprised enough already, Pearl quickly reached her limit. She slammed the book shut, gripping onto it as she fixed it with a fearsome glare. “Who wrote this book?!” she asked, her voice tight with rising panic.
“And how’d they know all that stuff about us?!” Amethyst asked, her eyes wide in alarm. “Did they spy on us or something?”
“But who would have the nerve to do something like that?” Pearl’s hold on the book tightened, barely masking the fact that her hands were shaking. “And why were they recording all of this anyway? What did they plan on doing with this information?”
“And why did the kids have it? Where’d they even get it from? And why-”
“Enough questions!” Garnet suddenly shouted. Without warning, she took the book away from Pearl, slamming it down onto the counter. Even behind her shades, her rage was enough to rattle her teammates almost as much as the book itself had. “It doesn’t matter where this came from or who wrote it. Whatever this book is, it’s clear that it contains information that’s far too sensitive to be allowed to fall into the wrong hands. Which is why there’s only one thing we can do.”
Pearl and Amethyst nervously watched as Garnet swiftly bubbled the book as if it were one of the many monsters they’ve faced in the past. And, given exactly what that book contained upon its pages, it might as well have been.
“We have to get rid of it.”
There was no real way of telling time in the unchanging expanse of pink clouds that composed Rose’s room. That hardly mattered to the kids, though, especially not in a world here they could get just about anything they wanted. From a towering, high-speed roller coaster, to a sprawling, beautiful ocean, to a petting zoo with countless types of animals, all of them friendly. They enjoyed it all, heedless of how impossible it all was, because here, nothing was impossible.
The fun had gone on for a while, until they all settled down to watch the recently-released Dogcopter 3 on the massive screen the room had provided for them. How it was able to even show them the film at all, they had no idea, but they couldn’t care less as they thoroughly enjoyed it all the same.
“That was amazing !” Connie grinned, sitting up in her bean bag chair. “I’ve been waiting to see that movie for months! It was even better than I thought it would be!”
“And did you see those effects?” Dipper asked, impressed. “They were incredible! They totally make up for the lame CG in Dogcopter 2 .”
“I know, right?” Connie nodded her agreement. “And the after credits scene? It’s got me even more excited for Docopter 4 than I already was!”
“Well, when it does come out, we have the perfect place to come and watch it,” Dipper sighed contently, reclining back in his seat.
Connie warmly laughed. “It’s a date.”
“Are you two done nerding out yet?” Mabel flashed the pair a coy, teasing smirk. “You’ve been doing it for the whole movie.”
While Connie let out another flustered chuckle, Dipper decided to use the opportunity for some retaliation. “Hey Steven, can I get a pillow over here?”
“Sure thing,” Steven smiled. “Room, one pillow please!”
As expected, a pillow appeared out of thin air, falling into Steven’s arms before he tossed it over to Dipper. The moment he caught it, he didn’t hesitate to throw it at Mabel, knocking her off her chair and onto the fluffy ground.
“Well, as fun as this is, we should probably start thinking about heading back,” Steven said, standing. “I’m sure the Gems are probably wondering where we are, and I don’t really want them to find out we were in here this whole time…”
“Aw, but I wanna see the rest of the temple!” Mabel protested.
“Yeah, there’s gotta be more to it than this,” Dipper said. “What about the other Gems’ rooms?”
“They’ll definitely catch us if we go into them!” Steven exclaimed, anxious. “And besides, I don’t think we can even get to any of the other rooms from here… Can we?”
“Maybe this room can help out with that,” Connie suggested, shrugging. “There’s no way a place this big doesn’t connect to the rest of the temple, right?”
“Huh, I guess I hadn’t really thought of that,” Steven looked around. “I guess it’s worth a try… Room, we’d like to go see the rest of the temple, please!” He paused for a moment, quickly added something else before the room could follow through. “Oh, and uh, can we get a real way out of here? It wouldn’t really do us any good if you gave us a fake one.”
His request was granted as several of the clouds on the ground nearby parted, revealing what looked like another waterslide. A literal waterslide that twisted down through the clouds to an unseen point somewhere below the cloudy sea.
“Will that really lead to another part of the temple?” Dipper asked as they all came to stand before the wide slide.
“There’s only one way to find out!” Mabel grinned before abruptly pushing her brother down the slide. She followed soon after, laughing against Dipper’s fearful cries as they both took the plunge. Seeing no reason to wait, Steven and Connie followed suit, letting the slide carry them past the clouds.
The slide looped and curled its way past the confines of Rose’s room, with soft pink skies soon giving way to a deep, starry expanse. The kids didn’t get much of a chance to enjoy their new surroundings before the slide deepened into a steep waterfall. Their frightened screams were cut off when it ultimately dropped them into a deep pool of water. Just one of many this new room was made up of.
Upon swimming to the surface, the kids were able to see these other fountains, all of them flowing elegantly into the central platform they were floating in. Much like Rose’s room before it, it was peaceful and serene, a far cry from the kind of “danger” the Gems had warned them about.
“It’s so relaxing in here!” Connie said, smiling. “I wonder whose room this is?”
“Oh, it’s Pearl’s!” Steven snapped his fingers. “I’ve seen peeks of it before when she opens up her door!”
“Huge fancy fountains seem like they’d be Pearl’s sort of thing,” Mabel nodded.
“But if this is her room, then where is she?” Dipper asked, looking around for any signs of her.
“M-maybe all the Gems left to go on a mission!” Steven suggested. “Hopefully…” Because if they didn’t, if they found them wandering freely through the temple, against their orders… Steven didn’t even want to think about what they’d do.
“Hey, guys? Is it just me or is that big hole in the middle of the pool starting to get bigger?” Mabel nodded toward the seemingly growing indent at the heart of the central fountain.
“It’s not getting bigger!” Connie gasped in newfound alarm. “It’s pulling us towards it!”
“Everyone, quick! Swim to the edge!” Dipper shouted. They all did exactly that, fighting against the strong current as much as they could. In the end, however, the gaping crater sucked them down all too quickly, sending them plummeting down yet another waterfall. Once again, they were deposited into a deep pool, albeit in another room altogether.
Upon surfacing, the kids were met with a sight that was far different from the clean tranquility of Pearl’s room. This new room was massive and cavernous, with sparkling crystals and jagged stones hanging from the ceiling and jutting from the walls and floor. It might have been beautiful, if not for the endless clutter stacked high around every corner. From old food, to broken electronics, to ancient artifacts, and everything in between, there was no rhyme or reason to the mountains of mess almost everywhere the kids looked.
“What is this place?” Dipper asked as he and the others climbed out of the pool. “The Gems’ garbage dump?”
“No, actually, I think it's Amethyst’s room,” Steven said.
“Why does she keep all of this stuff?” Connie asked as they began to walk along one of the makeshift paths cutting through the clutter. “Does she ever even use any of it?”
“I think she just keeps it around for decoration,” Steven shrugged. “She likes to bring back stuff from missions all the time, so I guess this is where she puts it all.”
“Hey, check it out!” Mabel exclaimed as something up ahead caught her eye. The others followed her as she ran up to the purple bubble floating above a small pile of random tash. And, trapped inside of that was a small blue gemstone. “This thing probably belongs to one of those monsters the Gems fight all the time! It’s so cool looking!”
“Oh, so this is where they’re all bubbled away to!” Steven exclaimed.
“It does make a lot of sense,” Connie nodded.
“Mabel, don’t mess with that thing,” Dipper warned as Mabel cupped the bubble in her hands. “What if it pops?”
“Come on, I’m just getting a better look,” Mabel scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I’m being super careful! It’s not gonna-”
Pop!
All four of the kids froze, watching in shock as the gemstone fell to the ground. The second it started glowing, Steven rushed in to pull Mabel away from it, and just in time too. As the gemstone hovered off the ground, an almost humanoid shape formed around it, though it quickly shifted into a monstrous one. As the light cleared, the creature revealed its large, plantlike appearance; a glowing blue bulb, protected by four thick navy petals. It was supported by several slithering vine, two of which tapered out to sharp, thorny points. It easily towered over all of the kids as it let out a shrill hiss, its deadly vines poised to attack.
“Run!” the kids exclaimed in frightened unison. Before the monster could even lash out, they had all turned on their heels to sprint in the opposite direction. The monster was quick to pursue them, though thankfully the plentiful piles of clutter gave them decent enough cover from its long range attacks.
“Nice going, Mabel!” Dipper shot his sister a pointed glare.
“Hey, how was I supposed to know it was just like a regular bubble?!” Mabel shot back defensively. “I thought it was made out of glass or magic or something!”
“We can’t keep running from that thing forever,” Connie took an anxious glance back at the monster. “Maybe we should split up.”
“Or,” Steven smiled as he noticed what was right up ahead. “We can lose it in that tunnel up there!”
Sure enough, a narrow break in the rocky wall ahead provided them with a potential escape. Even if they didn’t know where it might lead, the kids took it, squeezing into the tunnel in the hopes that the monster couldn’t do the same. To their relief, the monster’s bulky body became trapped as soon as it tried barreling into the tunnel. It let out an enraged wail as it tried wriggling free to continue its pursuit, but in the end, it was all for nothing. It was stuck, which meant, at least for now, the kids were safe.
“Well, that was a close one!” Mabel let out the breath she’d been holding.
“So… is that monster just supposed to stay here, or…?” Dipper trailed off. He took an anxious step back as the creature attempted to lash out again.
“Amethyst will probably find it and take it out when she gets back to her room,” Steven started moving on down the tunnel. “For now, we might as well keep going.”
“I don’t think we really have a choice…” Connie frowned back at the monster, now completely blocking the way they’d come through. The tunnel ahead of them was long and twisting, but fortunately illuminated by the glow of its crystalline walls. The further away they got from the still-writhing monster, the better the kids all felt, even if its angry shrieks continued echoing in the distance behind them.
“So… who’s in favor of going back up to Rose’s room and playing with the flying puppies again?” Mabel asked, exhausted from the lengthy walk.
“At this point, I kind of just want to leave the temple altogether,” Dipper said, sighing. “I mean, it’s cool in here and everything, but now I can sort of see what the Gems meant when they said it was dangerous.”
“Yeah…” Steven said remorsefully. “Maybe we should have listened to them after all. They’re usually right about this sort of thing.”
“Well, look on the bright side; it looks like there’s a way out ahead,” Connie said with a small, hopeful smile.
“Wait a second…” Steven suddenly stopped before they could round the next corner. “Do you guys hear that?”
The others stopped and listened, confused at first, until they heard hints of familiar voices coming from not too far away. They were too distant to make out any clear words, but even so, there was no doubt about who they belonged to. “It’s the Gems!” Mabel excitedly exclaimed. “We should go say hi!”
“Are you crazy?” Dipper scoffed. “We can’t let them see us! Do you have any idea how much trouble we’ll be in if they find out we’re in here and that we let a Gem monster loose?!”
“I agree with Dipper,” Connie said, frowning. “We should just focus on finding a way out of here before anything else happens.”
“But the Gems are right up ahead,” Steven said nervously. “I guess we’ll just have to sneak past them… Somehow…”
The kids made sure to be as quiet as possible as they inched on ahead, until eventually, the end of the tunnel came into sight. The corridor let out into another large room, albeit from high above. This new room’s ceiling was exceedingly high, accommodating for the countless bubbled Gems frozenly floating near it. At the center of the room rested a pit of bright, burning lava, and gathered around that pit were all three of the Crystal Gems.
Though their high vantage point kept them from being spotted, the kids still made sure to press against the sides of the corridor to avoid being seen. Still, they couldn’t help but stop and watch the Gems as they paced around the room in a strange sort of shared apprehension.
“What are they doing down there?” Connie asked, curious.
“I don’t know…” Steven frowned. “I guess they’re having a meeting or something?”
“Shh!” Mabel quieted them. “I wanna hear what they’re saying!”
Garnet had come to stand still in front of the lava pit, her hands curled into fists. At the same time, Pearl continued to pace, while Amethyst sat near the edge of the room, looking through what looked like a book, though none of the kids could see it too well from their position.
“Man, I’ll give whoever wrote this thing this: they knew their stuff,” she said as she casually flipped through pages. “Plus, they did a pretty good job at drawing me, so props to them.”
“Amethyst, be careful with that thing!” Pearl snapped, taking the book away from her. Only now that it was closed were the kids able to clearly see the book clearly. And the moment he saw the golden six-fingered hand on its cover, Dipper froze in absolute horror.
“The journal?!” he exclaimed, completely forgetting about trying to be quiet and unseen. He quickly remembered though, as the Gems glanced around, confused. Fortunately, they shrugged it off and returned to their discussion, not that it made Dipper feel any better. He had worked so hard and had been so careful to keep the journal concealed, especially from the Gems. He had spent so long fearing that if they ever did actually discover it, then certainly he’d lose it and the answers it might hold forever. But no matter how careful and cautious he might have been, none of it mattered in the end. They’d managed to get their hands on it all the same. And, based on their clearly troubled expressions, they were anything but pleased by the discovery.
“Huh? How’d they find it?” Connie asked, confused.
“Looks like somebody was a bit of a scatterbrain and left it lying on the bed,” Mabel shot Dipper a critical look.
He let out a frustrated groan, facepalming as he pressed against the tunnel’s wall. “I can’t believe this! What am I gonna do now?”
“Is this really all that bad?” Steven asked. He couldn’t deny the spark of relief that was starting to spread through him when he looked down at the journal now resting in the Gems’ hands. At last they knew about it; at last there were no more secrets to be kept from them. At last… everything could go back to the way it was supposed to be. “I mean… you were going to tell them about it eventually anyway, right?”
“Uh… sure,” Dipper glanced away. He’d already told this lie to Steven far too many times already; perhaps the only upside to this was that he wouldn’t have to any more. “But the last thing I wanted was for them to find out about it like this .”
“Well, maybe if you ask them nicely, they’ll just give it back to you,” Mabel suggested.
“Yeah, that’ll work out just great ,” Dipper deadpanned. “‘Hey, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, I know you guys didn’t want us in your temple, but here we are anyway! Mind if I have that journal that’s filled with a bunch of secrets about you guys back? Thanks!’”
“You really think that’ll work?”
“Of course it won’t work!” Dipper snapped, stressed. “They’d probably just laugh right in my face!”
“I don’t know, Dipper…” Steven countered, offering him a small, consoling smile. “I think it’s for the best that the Gems know about the journal. It’s only fair since there’s so much written in it about them. And who knows? Maybe they even know who the author is!”
Dipper was more than ready to disagree, but before he could, he happened to overhear Garnet down below. And exactly what she had to say, what she was getting ready to do practically made his blood run cold.
“Both of you need to stop fooling around with that book,” she firmly commanded Pearl and Amethyst. They didn’t hesitate to hand the journal over to her, allowing her to bubble it once more. Garnet’s expression was solemn and resolved as she guided the bubble to hover over the lava pit. “It’s time to destroy this thing before it destroys us.”
When he saw the lava slowly begin to rise up, threatening to consume the bubbled journal, Dipper couldn’t stay silent and out of sight a second loner. “No!” he shouted, forgetting how high up the exit of the tunnel was as he leaned out of it. Time seemed to speed up as he started to fall, and while Mabel quickly caught him by the arm, she began to fall as well. Steven and Connie also tried their best to grab the twins before they slipped out of the tunnel, but in the end, they all managed to accidentally pull each other down. They plummeted down into the open room, ultimately landing in a messy pile only a few feet away from the Gems.
“Uh… hey, you guys!” Mabel greeted them with an awkward smile. “Fancy meeting you all here, huh?”
“...We live here,” Garnet said flatly.
“What the…? What are you guys doing in here?” Amethyst asked, bewildered.
“How did you four get into the temple?!” Pearl demanded, equally alarmed.
“Um… I sort of… opened the door…” Steven sheepishly admitted.
“You… Wait, what?!”
Before anyone could even say another word, a sudden, familiar screech sounded from the very tunnel the kids had emerged from. Their worst fears were all but confirmed when the monster from earlier dropped down into the room, landing squarely in the open space behind the Gems.
“The monster?!” Mabel exclaimed.
“B-but we trapped it! It was stuck! How did it break free?!” Connie asked, baffled.
“Hey, isn’t that the slinker?” Amethyst raised an eyebrow. “I thought it was bubbled in my room!”
“Why in the world would it be bubbled in that disaster instead of in here?!” Pearl glared over at her while she summoned her spear.
“Hey, don’t look at me! At least I’m not the one who popped it and let it loose in the temple, which is what I’m guessing you guys did,” Amethyst gave the kids a pointed look. None of them said a word, and none of them needed to. Their guilty silence was more than enough of an answer.
“We don’t have time to point fingers,” Garnet clenched her gauntleted fists as the slinker began to lurch towards them. As she did so, the bubbled journal floated away from the lava pit to the far side of the room. “However that thing was freed, it’s going right back where it came from. Gems, let’s go!”
“Wait!” Steven called. “We can help you guys!”
“No,” Garnet put her hand in front of the kids to stop them.
“But why not?!” Dipper protested. “We’ve already proven to you three several times that we can handle this sort of thing! Why won’t you just trust us?!”
“Because you’re not even supposed to be in here in the first place!” Pearl snapped, frustrated. “We told you it was dangerous, but you didn’t listen!”
“You didn’t trust us,” Garnet said much more calmly, sternly. “Which is why we can only trust ourselves with something like this.”
“Sorry, you guys,” Amethyst said, shrugging. “But you gotta sit this one out. Don’t take it too personally, k?”
Before any of them could object any further, the Gems leapt into battle against the slinker. Garnet got the jump on it, aiming her punches for its body, though the monster’s long tendrils were quick to latch firmly onto her wrists and throw her aside. Pearl attempted to cut her way through the snapping vines with graceful spins of her spear, but their strength proved too much for her as one of them managed to pry her weapon away from her. Amethyst went next, her whip aimed for the central bulb, but the monster preempted her attack and caught her by her torso, squeezing tight as it held onto her with an iron grip.
The fact that the tide of this fight was quickly turning against the Gems wasn’t lost on any of the kids. They watched the action unfold from the sidelines, still wanting to help, even though they’d been forbidden from intervening. And even if they hadn’t been, none of them really knew what to do to make much of a difference in this fight.
That is, until Dipper happened to spot the journal, still bubbled on the other side of the room.
“That’s it!” he exclaimed, already starting to rush over to it. “There has to be something about how to defeat that monster in the journal!”
“But the Gems told us not to get involved!” Steven spared a nervous glance towards the nearby fight.
“We have to do something , Steven!” Dipper argued. “Whether they like it or not, the Gems need help. They need the journal’s help. They need our help!”
“Yeah!” Mabel soundly agreed. “So let’s give it to them!”
“The Gems probably won’t be very happy about this…” Connie pointed out, even as she moved to join the twins. “But they’ll thank us for it later.”
“But… they…”
“Steven,” Dipper cut him off. He stepped back over to him, his long standing frustration every bit as clear as his unshakable resolve was. Resolve Steven only wished he could share. “How many times do we have to keep proving ourselves to the Gems before they finally start taking us seriously? How many times are you going to have to prove yourself to them before they admit you’re one of them?”
“I… They know I’m one of them,” Steven countered, but even as he said it, he didn’t truly believe it. “They-”
“Then why won’t they ever let you fight by their side?” Dipper pressed, earnestly, urgently. “Even after you discovered your healing powers-”
“Or after you stopped those light monsters and got them back into the Prism,” Connie added.
“Oh, or after you used your shield to fight off the Centi-thing,” Mabel pointed out.
“Or after every time we’ve had to show them that we can help them,” Dipper finished. “But they still won’t let us. I know you don’t want to rock the boat; I know how much you care about them and how much you don’t want to upset them. But they have to understand that we’re more than just a bunch of dumb kids who always need to be protected. So,” he held out his hand to Steven, finally managing a small, encouraging smile. “Will you help us make them understand that? Please?”
Steven hesitated, guilt mingling with longing inside his gut. Today alone, they’d already gone against the Gems so many times. They’d broken their trust, just as Garnet had said. And yet, at the same time, Steven felt as though his own trust with the Gems had been equally shaken. Rarely were they ever straightforward or honest with him, he knew that, he’d known that for far longer than he’d like to admit. They had so many secrets that they constantly refused to let him in on, secrets that he should be allowed to know.
After all, he was a Crystal Gem too, right? So maybe… maybe it was time for him to finally start acting like one.
“...Ok,” he finally took Dipper’s hand, returning his smile. “Let’s show them exactly what we’re made of.”
“Now we’re talkin’!” Mabel cheered. By now, she and Connie had already cleared the other side of the room, reclaiming the journal while the boys had been distracted. After popping the bubble surrounding it, she handed it back over to Dipper. He couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief upon holding the journal in his hands again, especially after how close it had been to being burned into mere ashes. Still, he knew this was no time to celebrate; he rapidly flipped to the section on Gem monsters, searching for an image or description of the one that the Gems were squaring off against. And, fortunately enough, it didn’t take much searching to find it.
“Here it is!” Dipper exclaimed before reading the entry aloud. “ The Slinker: This Gem creature receives its name from how it moves, by using its long, vine-like tendrils to ‘slink’ across the ground. Plantlike in appearance, the slinker makes use of its unassuming form for stealth and camouflage. However, it can be quite vicious and aggressive when provoked. The best way to subdue this monster is to confuse it. Entangle it in its own vines and it’ll be as harmless as a regular flower.”
“So just tie all of its vine things together?” Mabel asked. “That sounds easy enough!”
“We gotta let the Gems know!” Steven turned back towards the brawl. “Hey, you guys! We know how to stop the slinker!”
“Steven, please!” Pearl shouted as she struggled between two of the slinker’s vines. “We told you kids not to get involved in this! We can handle it!”
“But you guys are kinda losing!” Mabel called. “No offense!”
“Uh, maybe we should hear them out, you guys!” Amethyst said to her teammates as she tried to wriggle free from the slinker. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re kinda getting our butts handed to us here!”
Garnet and Pearl exchanged a tentative glance, knowing just how tight of a spot they truly were in here. As frustrated as they were with the kids intruding into the temple unwarranted, they weren’t fighting with as much clarity as they usually would. So perhaps, it was time to embrace the aid the kids were clearly so desperate to give them instead of stubbornly pushing it away.
Without a word, the Gems turned to the kids, expectantly awaiting their advice. And knowing that time was of the essence, Dipper didn’t hesitate to give it. “You have to tangle it up in its own vines! That should tie it up long enough for you guys to beat it!”
The Gems didn’t skip a beat. Upon breaking free from the slithering vines, they fanned out. Garnet took the initiative by firmly catching two of its tendrils as they sped towards her and tying them together tightly. Pearl leapt high over the slinker, all while another vine chased after her, only to collide and twist with another vine along the way. Amethyst used her whip to fake the slinker out, making it look as though it was another vine, until she stomped down on one of the real ones, tying up with the last free one.
As the slinker struggled to free its tangled tendrils, the Gems went in for one final assault. Amethyst made sure that the monster remained incapacitated and Pearl kept its snapping bulb at bay while Garnet plunged her fist into the area between the slinker’s body and head, grabbing onto the gemstone inside. With a swift, final pull, she tore the gem away, causing the slinker to instantly poof. In the wake of its defeat, Garnet wasted no time in bubbling it once more, allowing it to float up and join the huge collection of bubbled gems above.
Despite the Gem’s victory, there was little celebration over it. As the adrenaline of battle faded, a sort of uneasy tension took its place. The kids couldn’t help but nervously glance away as the Gems came to stand before them, disappointment written all over their faces. After a long, awkward bout of silence, Steven finally worked up the nerve to speak up first.
“Um… so…” he began carefully, apologetically. “I know you guys are probably really mad at all of us, and you have a right to be but… we just wanted to see what the temple was like!”
“Yeah!” Connie added just as earnestly. “We didn’t mean to free that monster or cause any trouble at all! Steven’s gem opened the door, so we figured we’d check it out. We’re sorry if we upset you.”
“That’s not the point,” Garnet said coldly, crossing her arms. “We warned all four of you against coming in here. Now, hopefully, you understand why we didn’t want you in the temple. Every monster we’ve ever fought and defeated is contained here. Playing around in here is like playing in a minefield.”
“We only wanted you kids to be safe…” Pearl said, her tone gentle and kind. “We understand that you’re all eager to help us, and we appreciate your enthusiasm. But sometimes we just have to draw the line in order to protect you.”
While Steven, Mabel, and Connie were more willing to accept such a sincere explanation, Dipper wasn’t. Especially not as he glanced down at the journal resting in his arms. “So, your idea of protecting us is not filling us in on anything then?”
“Uh… what are you talking about?” Amethyst asked, confused and caught off guard.
“I’m talking about how you guys never want to tell us anything!” Dipper said, not hiding just how much it bothered him. How much it had been bothering him since the beginning, really. “If you had just told us that the reason we shouldn’t go in the temple is because it’s where all of the monsters are bubbled, then we would have listened and stayed out. But you never gave us a reason why we shouldn’t be in here and you just expected that we wouldn’t want to figure out that reason for ourselves.”
“And we’re sorry about that,” Garnet replied. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you all still disobeyed us.”
“Yeah, but it’s over with,” Mabel said with a small, forced smile. “Everything’s ok now, isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t!” Dipper cut in again, He realized he was probably pressing his luck, being far too bold, but at the same time, he wanted answers. Answers that he knew were far past due. “This isn’t just about the temple. This is about how mysterious you three are all the time! Why are you keeping so many secrets?”
“S-secrets?” Pearl asked, appalled. “Like what?”
“Like… well…” Dipper paused. Really, he had far too many questions concerning the Gems that had yet to be concretely answered. Far too many questions to even begin to list them all, but for now, he’d do what he could. “Well, for starters, what are you guys really? Where did you come from? What’s the deal with your powers? Why… why were you trying to get rid of this?” He held the journal up.
The Gems exchanged an uneasy glance as they looked at the journal, almost as if it was something they were afraid of. Before Dipper could pull it away, Pearl took the journal from him, ignoring him when he reached for it in protest. “Where did you kids find this book?” she asked, her eyes wide as she looked down at the four of them.
“I… I found it on the hill a few weeks ago,” Dipper admitted hesitantly, unsure of how the Gems would react. They were silent for a long moment, their expressions unreadable as they glanced between him and the journal, until Pearl spoke up again.
“Dipper…” she began, her tone notably unsettled. “If you’ve had this book for that long… then why did you never show it to us? You do know it has… quite a bit of information about the three of us in it, don’t you?”
“We know,” Steven spoke up.
“Huh? Steven, you knew about this thing?” Amethyst asked, gaping at him in disbelief.
“Um… yeah…” Steven admitted. “We all did. We just didn’t tell you guys because…”
“Because I was afraid that you’d react to it exactly like you did, by trying to get rid of it,” Dipper said, glancing down. The last thing he wanted was for Steven to be the one to shoulder the blame here; he had already forced him to buck heads with the Gems far too much already, after all. He didn’t want to widen the gap between them any more than he probably had.
“You don’t understand,” Garnet shook her head. “The information about us in that book is extensive, extensive enough to be a clear danger to us all. Pearl, Amethyst, and I have survived for hundreds of years because we believed the same thing Rose Quartz did: that we need to constantly keep our guards up, no matter what the situation is.”
“But… how would the journal be dangerous to you three?” Connie asked. “Didn’t you allow all of that stuff to be written about you?”
“We most certainly did not!” Pearl exclaimed as she handed the journal off to Garnet. “We’d have to be completely daft to let someone write that much information about us!”
“What? But… didn’t you know who the author of it was?” Dipper asked. His heart sank even as he asked that question, as he realized the answer to the most important question was all too quickly slipping out of reach. And then, the uncertain glance the Gems exchanged ripped that answer away from him altogether.
“We… we don’t know who wrote this,” Garnet said, her usually stoic tone surprisingly troubled. “But none of us can deny that it does look familiar.”
“So you’ve seen it before?” Mabel asked.
“Nah, probably not,” Amethyst frowned. “But it sure does feel like it.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense,” Dipper shook his head. “The author makes it sound like he knew you three, or at least like he knew Rose.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Pearl quickly scoffed. “If Rose had allowed some mysterious person to write half of a book about us, then she would have let us know!”
“I dunno…” Amethyst said with a skeptical frown. “ Would she have?”
“Of course she would have!” Pearl snapped harshly. “Rose would have never kept a secret like this from us!”
“So… if Mom never kept secrets from you, then why do you guys keep secrets from us?” Steven asked, the hurt in his expression clear.
“Aw, Steven…” Amethyst began, though Steven quickly interrupted.
“I mean… I understand that everything you guys do is important and that it’s important for protecting the earth and everyone in it,” Steven continued, his tone calm, yet still conflicted. “But… you don’t have to do that alone! We want to help you! This is our home and we want to keep it safe just as much as you guys do! We know it can be dangerous sometimes, but we’re not afraid! Right guys?”
Dipper, Mabel, and Connie all nodded in firm agreement, but even still, Steven wasn’t finished yet. “We know we didn’t trust you on the temple thing, and we’re sorry. But trust is a two way street. All we want is for you guys to trust us, for you to let us help you! So… can’t we all just… learn to trust each other so we can work together and protect what we all care about?”
None of the Gems could hold back their proud smiles upon hearing their youngest member deliver such a heartfelt, inspiring appeal. Amethyst nodded with a side smirk as Pearl dried her teary eyes, all while Garnet placed a gentle hand on Steven’s shoulder. “Steven, your mother always believed that trust was something that shouldn’t be so easily given away,” she began, her tone patient. “She believed it was something that should be earned, and that everyone should give others the chance to earn it. And… perhaps… we haven’t given you four that chance. Until now.”
The kids exchanged relieved smiles at this. All at once, it felt as though a weight had been lifted, as though something was shifting. As though everything was finally going to start changing for the better. “So… you guys are going to stop leaving us out of everything?” Connie asked, hopeful.
“We’re going to try,” Pearl said with an affirmative nod. “After all, you four have certainly proven that you have determination and tenacity to spare, between today, what happened at the fountain, the Prism, Gideon, the light cannons, the Centipeedles–the way you’ve all risen to every challenge you’ve faced this summer really is admirable, to say the least.”
“Plus, you guys are pretty cool to have around,” Amethyst said. She stepped in between the group, playfully elbowing Dipper while ruffling Steven’s hair. “When you’re not accidently letting monsters run wild in the temple. Not that that sort of thing isn’t fun or anything. Honestly, it kinda is.”
“Yay!” Mabel cheered happily. “We’re all friends again! It feels so good to get rid of all of that weird awkward tension.”
“You can say that again,” Steven sighed contentedly. Because for the first time in quite some time, he finally felt at peace with both his friends and his guardians. With all of the people who mattered to him the most.
Even so, Dipper wasn’t completely satisfied, not when he looked at the journal still in Garnet’s hands. “So… I guess you guys are still gonna burn that thing, huh?” he asked glumly. “I guess I’d understand if you do. I mean, it’s not like it’s really mine anyway and besides, it does have a lot of information in it that you probably wouldn’t want getting out…” Dipper knew that he was trying to convince himself to accept the journal’s impending destruction more than anyone else. Still, he was quite surprised when he glanced up to see Garnet handing the journal back to him. “Huh?” he asked, bewildered. “I don’t understand. I thought-”
“There are a lot of secrets in this journal,” Garnet acknowledged, still holding it out to him. “Not just about us, but about Gravity Falls as a whole. But secrets are only really dangerous when they fall into the wrong hands. There’s no need to destroy the journal as long as it’s in the right hands. And as far as I’m concerned, it is in the right hands with you , Dipper.”
Dipper was hardly able to hide the shock on his face as Garnet securely pressed the journal into his hands. “A-are you sure?”
“Yes, Garnet, are you sure?” Pearl echoed anxiously.
“I am,” she nodded with a small smile. “I’m certain the journal and all the information it contains will be safe with Dipper. That is as long as he makes sure to be careful with it.”
“Yeah, and use it to help us fight off Gem monsters!” Amethyst added, smirking. “That thing’s got all the answers!”
“Oh, y-yes, of course!” Dipper nodded enthusiastically. After all, the Gems were essentially trusting him with their own well kept secrets. And that was a trust that he wouldn’t dare betray. “I’ll be super careful with it! And I won’t let any of you down! I promise.”
“That’s all we ask,” Garnet nodded as her smile widened just the slightest bit.
“Soooo, it looks like all’s well that ends well, huh?” Mabel asked with a bright grin. “What do you guys say we hang out a little longer, maybe explore the rest of the temple? Hm?”
“I… think you kids have seen enough of the temple for one day…” Pearl said as Garnet used her gems to open the door leading back to the house.
“But we can always save exploring the rest of it for another day!” Amethyst added. “Especially since this guy can open the door all by himself!” she grinned, pointing to Steven.
“Heh, it’s no big deal…” he bashfully rubbed the back of his neck.
“Are you kidding? It’s awesome !” Amethyst exclaimed insistently. “You’re getting to be just as magical as the rest of us, Steven!”
“Yeah…” Steven smiled, taking a glance behind him as the temple door shut. True, he may have stepped out of his comfort zone, and true, he may have pushed far past his usual limits when it came to the Gems. But for as much as he may not have wanted to, he knew that perhaps, that’s exactly what he needed . To not just grow closer to his beloved guardians, but to help him grow into the Crystal Gem he longed to be. The Crystal Gem he was just another step closer to becoming. “I guess I am…”
It was no secret that, after the harrowing day they’d had in the temple, the kids were exhausted as soon as they stepped out of it. Connie left first, and the twins followed soon after to make the short trek back down to the Mystery Shack. They left the temple with smiles on their faces and a certain weight lifted off their shoulders, glad to know that things between them and the Gems would be different now. To earn the respect and trust of beings as magical and special as the Crystal Gems… it was something both Dipper and Mabel couldn’t help but be just a little bit proud of.
“Well, looks like all your worrying about the Gems flipping out over the journal was for nothing,” Mabel playfully nudged her brother. “They were totally ok with it!
“Mabel, they did flip out,” Dipper pointed out, glancing up from the journal as he flipped through it to look for any potential damage. “I’m just lucky they actually gave it back to me. If anything, now I have to be even more careful with it.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Mabel rolled her eyes. “So… you wanna show it to Grunkle Stan next?”
“Are you kidding? After all that?” Dipper scoffed. “I’d just as well never show it to anyone else ever again if it’s going to cause that much trouble.” Ignoring Mabel’s teasing shrug, he turned his attention back to the journal, though he stopped in his tracks upon noticing a page that he hadn’t paid much attention to before. “Huh… That’s weird…”
“What’s wrong?” Mabel asked, stepping beside him to get a look.
“This page…” Dipper frowned, confused. “Everything here has been crossed out except for one word…”
“What word?”
He pointed to the odd word out, one that was nearly lost in the sea of dark ink. The only thing that remained of whatever this entry had once been, hiding in plain sight, almost as if it wanted to be found: “ Homeworld… ”
Notes:
Next time... Steven, Dipper, and Mabel discover a strange, surprisingly magical mirror...
Chapter 11: Mirror Gem
Summary:
Steven, Dipper, and Mabel discover a mysterious mirror with a strage sort of power...
Notes:
Aw, yeah! It's Mirror Gem time! You'll find I only really changed this chapter up a little since I already liked the original version of it in old UF. Even so, there are a few fun new additions in here, so keep an eye out for those. Anyway, let's get that mirror and finally bring Lapis into the chat! Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
EPV JSVE BYV KFDTU KVIACXY PIASVE SPQA
VRFKT QJE'H NTMIV VVD TFPOCFG CZSJ
MTC JVV IIEKG ZE BF SS WDMV
YSI ZIDV WJ XIGZG CMHLCW
On most days, Stan only barely tolerated Steven’s presence at the Mystery Shack. He was a bit too cheerful, a bit too saccharine for his liking or his patience. But if there was anything Stan was more than willing to let him hang around for, it was free labor. And fortunately for him, Steven was always more than happy to help, which was how he ended up spending the better half of the morning helping Dipper, Mabel, and Soos haul boxes around the shack.
“Thanks for letting me hang out today, Mr. Pines!” Steven flashed Stan a bright grin as he toted a large box past him. “Carrying all these boxes is great exercise!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Stan waved his hand as he continued counting through a stack of money. “Just be careful with that stuff, kid. Customers don’t want to buy broken garbage. Just regular garbage.”
“Grunkle Stan, why did you have us bring down all of this junk from the attic anyway?” Dipper asked. He and Mabel had taken to sorting through the boxes Soos and Steven brought them, on the hunt for anything even remotely valuable. Unsurprisingly, their efforts hadn’t yielded much so far.
“Because apparently someone needed more room for their sweaters…” Stan said, scowling.
“Aw, but Grunkle Staaaaan,” Mabel crooned, throwing on the most charming smile she could. “My sweater collection grows by at least one new sweater every day! Each of them needs enough space, or else they won’t be as poofy and cozy as I like ‘em. And that cramped closet just wasn’t cutting it.”
Stan rolled his eyes. “ Anyway , I figured that instead of letting all this stuff sit up there and collect dust, we might as well go through it and see if there’s anything worth selling here in the shack. Tourist season is starting up, which means we’re gonna need some hot new inventory. Inventory that I don’t need to spend money on, like all this stuff.”
“Oh, so it’s like a yard sale?” Steven asked.
“Nah, it’s more like… a turnover,” Stan corrected. “We’ll clean a few of these old trinkets up, brand it as ‘limited edition’ merch, and folks will eat it up like it’s going out of style! It’s a business model that can’t fail!”
“At this rate, I don’t see how it won’t fail,” Dipper frowned as he pulled a broken coffee mug out of one of the boxes. “Who would even want any of this busted up junk anyway?”
“I dunno, dude,” Soos proudly presented his latest find. “You know what they say: one guy’s trash is some other guy’s treasure. Like this cool frisbee I just found!”
“Soos, that’s a pie tray,” Dipper pointed out.
Soos’s smile only briefly faded as he looked back at the tray, before he quickly shrugged it off. “Well, now I have something to hold a pie in if I ever make one. That’s still pretty cool to me.”
“You kids find anything sellable in there?” Stan stood over Steven and Mabel as they rooted through another box.
“I found this pair of old glasses,” Steven laughed as he tried them on. “Are these yours, Mr. Pines?”
Stan snatched the glasses away with a surprising amount of speed. He looked over them, frowning deeply, before securely tucking them away into his pocket with a huff. “They’re not mine. Some poindexter must’ve left ‘em here years ago, o-or somethin’.”
“I found this neat old book,” Mabel held up what she’d discovered. “ Radical Fashion for Total Nerds, 1983 Edition ! It even has pictures! Check out this trendsetter!” She flipped the book open to reveal the traditional gaudy, neon style of the 80’s, complete with oversized blazers and multicolored pants. “Can I keep it, Grunkle Stan? Pretty please?”
“No way,” Stan took the book from her. Whatever strange sort of melancholy that had fallen over him moments ago was completely gone without a trace now. “Some nostalgic nutcase will buy something like this in a heartbeat. If you want it, then it's $20, base price, no haggling.”
“Aw…” Mabel’s shoulders sagged in disappointment. “I could have gotten so much inspiration out of that book!”
“You wanna know a good way to get inspired? By finding me more stuff to sell,” Stan ordered as he turned to his nephew. “Dipper, haven’t you found anything yet? All I see sitting next to you is a pile of trash!”
“That’s because there’s nothing in here but trash,” Dipper dryly replied. Sure enough, as he searched through the box in front of him, he found nothing of note other than a notebook with all of its pages ripped out and a few broken sea shells. He was just about ready to put everything back in the box and take it outside to the trash before he checked it one more time. And, to his surprise, he’d managed to miss the peculiar object lying at the bottom of it. “Huh? What’s this?” Dipper raised an eyebrow as he carefully pulled it out, holding it up so the others could see what it was:
A mirror.
It was clearly old, but surprisingly elegant–crystal clear glass set in a curving silver frame. But even more intriguing was the teardrop shaped stone fixed to the mirror’s back. It might have once been beautiful–shining as blue as the sea itself–if not for the deep crack splintering its otherwise smooth surface. Dipper only had a moment to look it over before Mabel suddenly plucked it straight out of his hands.
“Ooo, what a pretty mirror!” she grinned widely at her own reflection in it. “Almost as pretty as the person inside it. Isn’t that right, Mabel?” She let out a coy laugh before handing the mirror off to Steven so he could see it.
“Whoa… It's so fancy…” Steven said, thoroughly intrigued. “I wonder where it came from…”
“This thing looks way too interesting to just be sitting at the bottom of a box of old junk…” Dipper mused as he took the mirror again, turning it over in his hands. “Grunkle Stan, how long have you had this?”
“Heck if I know, kid, but I do know this,” Stan swept in to snatch the mirror. “It’s gonna make me a fortune! Just look at this old thing! Chances are I probably won’t even have to lie about this mirror being a rare antique; it already is one!”
“I bet that mirror belonged to some rich dude back in the day,” Soos theorized. “Like a king! Or a TubeTube star!”
“Well, now it belongs to another rich guy,” Stan flashed a greedy grin at his reflection. “Me!” When he turned the mirror over, however, his smile quickly fell. With a disgruntled scoff, he tossed it back over to Dipper, who only barely managed to catch it.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, steadying the mirror in his grasp.
“Haven’t you seen that rock on the back of that thing?” Stan crossed his arms. “It’s broken. And like I said earlier, no one wants to buy broken garbage. Much less broken garbage they can see themselves in; it’ll only make them feel even worse about their miserable lives than they already do.”
Steven, Dipper, and Mabel exchanged a glance before turning their attention back to the mirror. True, the stone was cracked–probably irreparably so. But everything else about it seemed pretty intact. Then again, none of them could claim to have the same sort of intel about antiques or selling them as Stan. Not that he had much intel himself when he regularly passed old soda cans off as “rare treasures” to his gullible customers.
“Aw, it’s a shame the mirror is broken, Mr. Pines,” Soos frowned. “But it’s not totally ruined. And who knows? Somebody might still buy it.”
“Yeah, for a few bucks at the most,” Stan turned his nose up. “It’s not even worth the effort to try to sell it. I’m trying to make big bucks here, not chump change.”
Steven couldn’t help but smile at the mirror when Dipper handed it over to him again. It never really took much to impress him–living with the Gems made sure of that. But a discovery this unique was more than enough to easily excite him all the same. “It doesn’t seem broken to me!”
“Aside from that stone on the back, it’s not really broken at all,” Dipper said. He stole another glance at said stone, noticing how it glistened when it caught the light. If not for the crack, it would have certainly shined even more radiantly than it already did.
“Oh! Oh!” Mabel looked to her uncle with a pleading pout. “Grunkle Stan, can we keep the mirror?” She laid it on even thicker by hopping up and running over to him, hugging his leg tight. “You don’t want it, so why not let us have it instead? Please? Please? Please ?”
“Alright! Alright! Fine!” Stan shoved her away. “Take the dumb thing. At least if you kids have it, then there'll be less clutter lying around the gift shop.”
Mabel and Steven shared an excited gasp as they held the mirror high between them. “This thing is great!” Steven happily proclaimed. “You know who would love something this cool? The Gems!”
“Yeah!” Mabel readily agreed. “We should totally go and show it to them! Come on!” Not wanting to waste another moment, she grabbed Dipper by the arm and dragged him along as she and Steven bolted out of the shack.
“Kids, wait!” Stan called after them. “We’re not done going through these-” He was cut off as the door slammed shut behind the trio. “Boxes…” He sighed in annoyed defeat as he turned to his handyman. “See, Soos, this is why I don’t believe in giving away things for free. I knew I should have charged those kids for that piece of junk mirror.”
“Don’t worry, Mr. Pines. I’ll help you finish cleaning out these boxes,” Soos said with a dutiful grin. For the moment however, he was preoccupied with flipping through Radical Fashion for Total Nerds. “Just as soon as I figure out where I can get these ‘totally tubular’ sunglasses…”
After a quick trek up to the temple, the kids found the Gems were away on another mission. They hardly minded though; there’d always be a chance to show them the mirror later. For now, they opted against returning to the shack (and to work) by taking their new prize out on the town instead.
“Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who’s the best Mabel in the land?” Mabel playfully asked it. She answered herself, though she pretended her reflection was doing so instead. “‘Why, you are, Mabel, of course!’ Well, thank you, mirror! How nice of you to say that!”
“Oh, let me try!” Steven took the mirror and held it a good distance away from him. “Now I see me…” With a quick flip of the wrist, he turned the mirror over to its non-reflective side. “Now I don’t! Now I see me. Now I don’t!”
“You guys sure are excited about that mirror,” Dipper cracked a smile as the pair erupted into bright laughter.
“Oh, come on, Dipper, don’t act like you’re not,” Mabel elbowed him. “Even you gotta admit this mirror’s pretty amazing.”
“It’s only a mirror,” Dipper deadpanned. “It’s not like we made any huge, incredible discovery by finding it.”
“Says the guy who found it and said it looked ‘interesting’.”
“Compared to all of the other junk in that box, yeah it was,” Dipper crossed his arms as he eyed the mirror, unimpressed. “But on its own, it's just an ordinary old mirror.”
“I don’t know if I’d call this mirror ordinary…” Steven mused, smiling at the mirror. “I think it’s pretty special. I don’t know how to explain it, but I can just… feel it, you know?”
“You can feel it?” Dipper questioned, skeptical. “Steven, that doesn’t make any-”
“What’s it feel like?” Mabel interrupted, fascinated.
“Hm… It’s sort of like-” Before he could finish, he happened to run right into Lars as he and Sadie were setting up tablets outside of the Big Donut. The kids had been so focused on the mirror that they had hardly even noticed that they were coming up on the convenience store. Until now, of course.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going, you little-” Lars sharply cut himself off when he met Sadie’s disapproving glance. “Sssssteven!”
“Oh! Sorry, Lars!” Steven said. “We’re just excited about this mirror here and we-”
“Mirror-schmirror,” Lars scowled. “Just keep on walking. Can’t you three see we’re trying to work out here?”
“Lars, don’t be rude!” Sadie scolded before turning to the kids. “Sorry, you guys. He’s probably just a little stressed since we have to set this extra seating up before the summer rush starts rolling in.”
“Wait, Gravity Falls gets a summer rush?” Dipper asked, surprised. After all, from what he’d seen so far, Gravity Falls was a sleepy little town, squarely in the middle of scenic nowhere. And aside from its more… unusual facets, there wasn’t really much worth visiting for.
“Sure,” Sadie grinned. “Folks come from all over the place, most of them wanting to ‘get in touch with nature’ whatever that means. It’s nothing to really get excited over. Just more people than usual running around town for a few weeks. But Lars has big plans.”
“You bet I do!” Lars put on a daring smirk. “All of those out-of-town summer babes traveling away from home without their boyfriends, if you know what I mean.”
“Nope,” Steven shook his head, oblivious.
“He means he’s going to hit on girls, Steven,” Dipper flatly explained.
“Ohhhh… I still don’t get it.”
“Oh, that makes me wonder if any cute boys are going to be coming to town!” Mabel gasped, stars in her eyes. “I have a feeling my pool of potential dreamboats is about to get a lot bigger!”
“Maybe I’ll get a few numbers…” Lars sighed wistfully, still caught up in his own fantasy. “Maybe I’ll even… call one!”
Sadie couldn’t help but hold back a snicker. Still, there was a hint of bitterness in her tone as she offered a snarky retort. “Yeah, well… maybe I’ll meet some new friends!”
“That’s a great idea!” Steven warmly agreed. “New special friends to have all sorts of summer fun with! Like you guys!” He gladly pulled both Dipper and Mabel into a sudden, but welcome hug.
“Oh my gosh! You’re right, Steven!” Mabel shared his smile. “We’ve already had so much summer fun together. Maybe if we keep using the mirror to guide us, we’ll find even more !”
“Guys, I already told you, it’s only a mirror,” Dipper said, exasperated. He quickly changed his tune, however, when he noticed they were already starting to head off without him. “Hey! Wait up!”
“Next time you see me, I’ll be on the arm of a hot woman!” Lars confidently called after the kids.
Sadie winced, looking away from him. “You can stop talking about it now.”
With the mirror in hand, Steven and Mabel’s hunt for their next summer adventure was on. They’d taken to walking backwards down the sidewalk, using the mirror to guide their way. By the time Dipper caught up to them, he was undoubtedly confused. “What are you guys doing?” he asked, walking forward as he fell in step beside them.
“We’re gonna walk backwards into whatever super cool thing the mirror helps us find!” Mabel enthusiastically replied.
“You should join us, Dipper!” Steven encouraged. “That way, when we find it, it’ll be a surprise for all of us.”
“Steven, I’m not gonna-”
Dipper’s protests proved pointless as Steven and Mabel suddenly grabbed him and turned him around anyway. Squeezed between the pair as he was, he wasn’t able to turn back around, even as the mirror was handed over to him so they could all see where it was leading them. Thanks to their backwards stroll, it wasn’t very easy for them to stay on the sidewalk. The mirror could only show them so much as they inevitably stumbled backward into the street. Fortunately, it was free of any traffic–until it wasn’t.
“May-or Dew-ey, May-or Dew-ey!” The mayor’s campaign van droned as it turned the nearby corner, rolling down the street the kids were on. It was still a good distance away, out of their notice as it zoomed straight toward them. But even though they hadn’t seen it yet, something else had.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going, you little-”
“Huh?” Dipper started at the sudden sound, somehow coming from the mirror. Likewise, Steven and Mabel heard its warning, confused as to why it had come out in Lars’ voice. Still, it was enough to direct their attention back to the mirror, which showed them a full view of the van speeding straight at them.
“Nooooo!” Steven cried, pulling Dipper and Mabel along with him as he spun around. With no time to clear the street, they braced themselves for impact. Fortunately though, the van screeched to a stop just a few feet away from them.
Mayor Dewey leaned out the window, offering the kids an annoyed scowl as he scolded them through his megaphone. “Car wash kid! And uh…” he raised an eyebrow as he looked at the twins. “Aren’t you two staying with Pines over at the Mystery Shack?” Dipper and Mabel prepared to answer, but Dewey was quick to cut them off before they could. “Ah, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is why were you kids walking in the middle of the street?!”
“I don’t know,” Steven shrugged. “Why were you driving through here? Isn’t your office only a few blocks away?”
“I’m the mayor!” Dewey protested sourly. “I’m not gonna walk anywhere. Now, go get run over somewhere else. I’m late for a speech.”
Turning his nose up at the kids, the mayor drove off, his van still glaring “ May-or Dew-ey ” all the while. Steven and the twins watched as the grumpy politician left, but they could hardly focus on that in light of the miraculous warning they’d somehow received.
“What just happened?” Dipper asked, looking over the mirror. To his surprise, the mirror actually somehow managed to give some form of a response. Its reflective surface suddenly whirled into what was almost like a recording of Steven and Mabel laughing from earlier. All three of the kids watched, astonished at what they were seeing. There was no doubt about it now; this mirror was far more special than they ever could have imagined.
“Whoa!” Steven gasped, awestruck. “You can talk?!”
“You can talk?!” the mirror repeated, mimicking his voice perfectly.
“Oh my gosh! This is so cool !” Mabel beamed as she grabbed the mirror from her brother. “It really is like a magic mirror! Ask it something, Steven! See if it’ll answer!”
“Um… ok…” Steven cleared his throat, giving the mirror a friendly smile. “So what’s it like being a mirror?”
The image in the mirror whirled again, this time to something Dipper had said earlier. “It’s only a mirror.”
“Ok, this is kinda weird…” Dipper frowned, uncomfortable. “Am I the only one who thinks that? I can’t be the only one who thinks that.”
“Weird? No way!” Mabel shook her head. “This mirror’s the best! Can you repeat anything?” she eagerly asked it.
“Yeah!” the mirror exclaimed in Mabel’s voice.
“Then that gives me an idea…” she broke into a mischievous smile as she stole a glance over at the nearby town square. There, Mayor Dewey was preparing to give a “rousing” speech to the tiny crowd that had gathered to hear it.
“Hello, Gravity Falls, my friends!” the mayor began with bravado from atop his van. “It’s great to be here to celebrate the start of the summer season. A warm summer breeze wafts through the air.”
“Ok, Steven, do it now!” Mabel urged as they arrived at the fringes of the crowd.
Steven smirked as he put their plan into action. He placed his palms to his mouth and let out a very loud, very clear fart noise. “PFFFT!”
A soft snicker rose up from the nearby crowd, but Steven and Mabel both knew that was only the beginning. Dipper gave them a curious look, unsure of where they were going with this. At least until Mabel knowingly pointed at the mirror in her hand.
“We all look forward to the sounds of the summer season,” Dewey continued his speech. And, somehow, the mirror knew to chime in, right one cue.
“PFFFT!”
“The smell of the mountain air…”
“PFFFT!”
“The hot wind blowing through the trees…”
“PFFFT!”
“The time to take that pressure that’s been building up all year and just let it out!”
“PFFFT!”
By now, Dewey had caught onto the fact that he was being mocked, especially when the crowd broke out into full-fledged laughter. Steven and Mabel high-fived over their success, soundly getting even with the mayor for his rude behavior earlier. Refusing to keep going under such conditions, Dewey gave up, annoyed, as he retreated to his van and the crowd quickly disbanded.
“Wow, you picked that up fast!” Steven chuckled, and the mirror imitated his laughter in reply.
“Ok, ok, that was pretty funny,” Dipper said, grinning. It quickly fell, however, as he looked back at the mysterious mirror again. “But I’m still not sure we should be playing around with that thing.”
“Oh boy, here comes ‘Mr. Fun Police’ again to ruin our fun…” Mabel sighed, exasperated.
“I’m not trying to ruin anything,” Dipper said, defensive. “I’m just saying we should be careful. We don’t even know how that mirror works or where it really came from! All we do know is that it’s been sitting in a box in Stan’s attic for who knows how long. And from the way he acted, he didn’t even seem to know it could do… this.”
“Maybe the mirror wasn’t able to talk until we did something to activate it?” Steven suggested. He smiled as he looked down at the mirror in his hands. “Is that it? Did we help you get your voice back?”
The mirror hesitated for a moment, but it eventually offered up a nervous snippet from Sadie. “M-maybe…”
“Well, that was vague,” Dipper said, making no effort to hide his growing suspicion.
“Come on, Dipper, can’t you just loosen up and have fun for once instead of questioning everything?” Mabel asked. “So what if it can talk back to us? You said so yourself: it’s just a mirror. It’s not like it's dangerous or anything.”
“You know, considering all of the crazy things we’ve seen in this town so far, I’m kind of regretting saying that,” Dipper frowned, rubbing his arm.
“I’m sure you’ll warm up to the mirror eventually, Dipper,” Steven warmly assured. “After all, it’s got so much personality!”
“…Sure, Steven,” Dipper rolled his eyes. He kept a withering look on his face as he stared at the mirror, refusing to trust it as easily as Steven and Mabel already had. Something was off about it, something unnerving. And while he couldn’t place exactly what that something was, he was resolved and ready to figure it out.
Because with so many mysteries tucked away in this town, what was one more to add onto the list?
While Steven and Mabel had already been enthralled with the mirror before, now that they knew it could communicate with them, it was on a whole other level. As the trio continued their walk through town, they pressed it with even more curious questions, all of which it gladly answered. The way it made use of its material was quite creative to say the least. It would reply in snippets of sentences from anyone it had overheard, from Stan and Soos, to Sadie and Lars, to even Steven, Dipper, and Mabel themselves. Its memory was impressive, yet it didn’t seem to mind the trivial questions Steven and Mabel posed to it at all.
“Ok, I got one,” Steven began. “What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever heard?”
The mirror responded exactly how Steven hoped it would with a hearty “PFFFT!”
“What a classic!” Mabel laughed along with Steven. “Oh! I have another one. Now that we know you can talk, mirror, I’ve been meaning to ask you… who’s your favorite Mabel?”
“Why, you are, Mabel, of course!” the mirror playfully imitated her.
“Yes! I knew you’d say that! You’re so smart, mirror!”
“Seriously? The only things the mirror actually knows is what it’s heard other people say,” Dipper said, underwhelmed.
“Yeah, but it uses that stuff to come up with some pretty great responses,” Steven said. “Why don’t you try asking it something, Dipper?”
“Um… ok…” Dipper cautiously took the mirror. “I guess I’ll start with something simple. How long were you in that box for?”
The mirror’s image flashed, going back to something Dipper himself had said earlier. “…who knows how long.”
“That’s what I’m asking you!”
“Don’t be rude!” the mirror scolded in Sadie’s voice.
“The mirror’s right, Dipper,” Steven chastised. “You should be nice to it, like me and Mabel are. Maybe then it’ll really answer your questions.”
“Yeah! You should say you’re sorry to it,” Mabel urged.
“You guys can’t be serious,” Dipper said, disgruntled. Even so, Steven and Mabel were adamant, which was why he ultimately folded, as much as he didn’t really want to. “Ugh, fine ... I’m, uh, “sorry”, mirror.”
“Well, thank you!” the mirror blithely replied. Dipper groaned when he realized it was essentially mocking him with such a sarcastic response. Not that it was able to do much else with the limited words available to it.
“Great!” Steven chimed in nonetheless. “Now we’re all summer fun buddies again!”His bright smile only grew as he noticed they were passing in front of Funland Arcade. “Whoa! Check it out! Looks like Mr. Smiley replaced some of the games those light monsters busted up a few weeks ago. They’ve even got a new Meat Beat Mania cabinet!”
“No way! I’ve been dying to try that!” Mabel grinned as they headed inside the arcade. “I heard they added a skillet special mode and everything! Let’s play a round, Steven!”
“Yeah!” Steven readily agreed. While Mabel was already making her way over to the game, Steven paused, turning back to Dipper as he held the mirror out with a pleading grin. “You don’t mind holding onto the mirror for us while we play, do you, Dipper?”
“Um, I guess not,” Dipper shrugged, hesitantly taking it.
“Thanks!” Steven called as he joined Mabel at the machine. And in doing so, leaving Dipper alone with the mirror.
“So… um… hi,” he greeted it awkwardly. And of course, the mirror didn’t hesitate to repeat it right back to him.
“So… um… hi.”
“Are you just gonna repeat everything I say?” Dipper asked, already annoyed.
“Are you just gonna repeat everything I say?”
“That’s not funny, you know.”
Instead of mimicking him again, the mirror flashed back to Steven and Mabel’s laughter, making its amusement more than clear. And while Dipper didn’t really want to indulge it and its aggravating teasing, he couldn’t help but give in and let out a small chuckle of his own. “Ok, fine, you got me. I hate to admit it, but you’re actually kind of clever.”
“You’re actually kind of clever,” the mirror retorted.
“Wait, are you actually being serious or are just mocking me again?” Dipper asked, unable to read the mirror’s intent.
The mirror’s image whirled again, but it didn’t get a chance to say anything else before it was interrupted. “Hey, Dipper!”
“Oh! Hey, Wendy!” Dipper offered her a wave and a smile as she approached. That smile soon fell, however, when he noticed the sullen teen she was with.
“You remember my boyfriend Robbie, right?” Wendy asked, nodding over to him. For his part, Robbie had not much more to offer Dipper than a bored sneer.
“S’up, dork,” he said, his hands stuffed into his hoodie pockets.
“Wait, Robbie is your boyfriend?” Dipper asked, confused.
“Uh, yeah, duh,” Robbie made a point of wrapping an arm around Wendy’s shoulder. “Why’d you sound so surprised about that? What, you don’t think I’m ‘good enough’ for a total babe like Wendy?”
“Uh… well…”
“Ugh, chill, man,” Wendy frowned at her boyfriend as she pulled her shoulder away. “So,” she turned back to Dipper, curious. “Who were you talking to just now?”
“Oh, uh… no one! No one at all,” Dipper tried playing it off with an awkward laugh. He knew the idea of a talking mirror would be a hard sell to just about anyone. Much less two teens who he didn’t want thinking he was crazy.
“So you were talking to yourself?” Robbie cocked an eyebrow. “Tch, figures. And what’s with that girly mirror you’ve got there?”
“Oh, it’s not mine,” Dipper anxiously glanced down at the mirror. Thankfully, it was silent for the time being, almost as if it knew he wanted to save face here. Despite the rough start he’d had with it, he couldn’t help but be grateful for that much. “I was just holding it for—Hey!” he started when Robbie suddenly swiped the mirror away from him.
“Ha, look at this thing!” he smirked as he looked it over. “It’s older than my grandma.”
“Come on, man, give it back!” Dipper protested. After all, he knew just how devastated Steven and Mabel would be if something were to happen to the mirror.
“Seriously, Robbie, don’t be a jerk,” Wendy crossed her arms, unimpressed by her boyfriend’s behavior.
“It’s cool, babe, I’m just checking it out for a sec,” Robbie grinned snidely at his own reflection. “I don’t know where you got this piece of junk from, kid, but you might as well take it back. It looks like it belongs in some old lady’s basement or something.”
Dipper pulled back from trying to reclaim the mirror when he heard this. He could only hope the mirror managed to catch his drift as he flashed it a wry, knowing grin. “I dunno, Robbie,” he said coyly. “I wouldn’t exactly call that mirror a plain old piece of junk.”
“Oh, what? Is it like a ‘magic’ mirror or something?” Robbie scoffed. “Yeah right. I bet you dug this dumb thing up out of a dumpster somewhere. Well, I-”
“PFFFT!” the mirror suddenly interrupted with its favorite gag. Startled, Robbie let out a frightened scream as he dropped the mirror. Fortunately, Wendy managed to catch it right before it could hit the ground.
“Whoa!” she exclaimed before handing the mirror back to Dipper with a wink. “Close one.”
“W-what the heck was that ?!” Robbie asked, alarmed. “What did that freaky thing just do?!”
“Hey, I told you it wasn’t an ordinary mirror,” Dipper said with a satisfied grin.
“Ugh, I should have known that mirror was weird, just like you, kid,” Robbie bitterly accused.
“Geez, Robbie, relax,” Wendy rolled her eyes. “Even you have to admit that was pretty funny.”
“No it wasn’t! It was-” Robbie cut himself off as he let out a frustrated growl. “Whatever. If you need me, I’ll be fixing my hair in the bathroom. In a normal mirror.”
“Yeesh, somebody’s a poor sport,” Wendy said as Robbie stormed off. “But seriously, dude, that mirror is sweet. How does it work? Is it like a tape recorder or something?”
“I’m honestly not sure how it works,” Dipper said, smiling at it. “Steven, Mabel, and I found it earlier today at the shack.”
“Well, it’s easily the coolest thing anyone’s ever found there,” Wendy nodded. “You know, I’d love to see what else that mirror can do, but I should probably go make sure Robbie didn’t pee his pants or anything. See you later!”
“Bye!” Dipper called out after her. As soon as Wendy was gone, however, his attention swiftly turned back to the mirror as he offered it a grateful grin. “Ok, I take back everything I said about you before. What you just did was awesome!”
In response, the mirror repeated another phrase he had said earlier. “That was pretty funny.”
“Pretty funny? It was hilarious!” Dipper laughed. “Robbie totally had it coming. The look on his face was priceless ! I can’t believe I’m saying this to a mirror of all things but… thanks.”
The mirror hesitated for a moment before echoing his gratitude right back at him. “Thanks.”
“Wait… what?” Dipper’s smile faded into confusion. “Are… are you really trying to thank me?”
“Yeah!” the mirror answered in Steven’s voice.
“I… I don’t understand. What for?”
Instead of relying on a single past phrase or word, the mirror suddenly did something entirely different. This time, it combined words it had heard out of context into a completely new phrase, flashing between Wendy, Mabel, and Stan, in that order. “You—found—me!”
Needless to say, that alone was enough to surprise Dipper. But exactly what it said caught him off guard even more. “W-what?”
“Whoa!” Steven exclaimed. Dipper nearly jumped out of his skin, alarmed when he and Mabel suddenly rejoined him. “It made something new! How’d you get it to do that?”
“I don’t know… It just sort of… did it on its own…” Dipper said, giving the mirror a curious look.
“Ooo! Mirror, say something else!” Mabel urged, pulling it away from her brother.
“Mabel—is—hilarious!” the mirror exclaimed, this time combining material from Steven and Dipper.
“Aw, thanks, mirror!” Mabel blushed, grinning. “You’re so sweet!”
“You’re so sweet!” the mirror parroted.
“No, you’re so sweet!”
“No, you’re so sweet!”
“No, you’re so sweet!”
“Ok, Mabel, that’s enough!” Dipper cut in, annoyed as he reclaimed the mirror and passed it over to Steven.
“Just when I thought this mirror couldn’t get any cooler, it does!” Steven beamed. “There’s so much stuff we could do with it! Oh! I wonder if it still remembers its favorite joke…”
“PFFFT!” the mirror quickly answered.
“It never seems to forget that one,” Dipper said, smirking.
“Man, it really got a lot of mileage out of that joke,” Steven chuckled, holding the mirror. “You’re pretty funny for a mirror.”
“You’re pretty funny for a mirror.”
“I’m not a mirror!” Steven blithely corrected.
Once again, the mirror combined statements to create something new, utilizing words from Steven and Lars. “You’re pretty funny for a—Sssssteven!”
“There you go!” Steven gave it a hearty thumbs up.
As he and the twins shared a laugh, none of them happened to notice who was watching them from just behind the corner of the arcade. He narrowed his eyes, in disdain first as he eyed the trio, but his tune quickly changed as he shifted his gaze to their peculiar mirror. A mirror with the ability to somehow speak, to echo back everything it had ever heard.
And certainly, it must have heard more than a few secrets in its time. Secrets that Gideon was determined to get his hands on.
“Got any other words of wisdom for us, mirror?” Mabel asked.
While the mirror started whirling with a new message, it abruptly stopped. It gave the kids no time to be confused before it pieced together a sudden, sharp warning: “Look–out!” And then, just like it had with Dewey’s van before, the mirror reflected a newfound threat rushing at them from behind. Albeit a much smaller threat.
The trio didn’t even have a chance to turn and face Gideon before he suddenly slid through the gap between them, ripping the mirror out of Steven’s hands in the process. From there, he hopped back to his feet, triumphantly running off with his stolen prize in hand.
“Gideon!” Steven, Dipper, and Mabel shouted after him, not hesitating to give chase.
“Sorry, ya’ll!” he glanced over his shoulder, smirking smugly. “But this fancy-schmancy magic mirror is mine now!”
The chase continued down the street, and soon enough, the kids found themselves having to bob in between passing pedestrians just to keep Gideon in their sights. The mirror did its best to help them, blaring random words and phrases so they could keep track of it. But in the end, it was all for naught when they ultimately ended up losing Gideon in the crowd. Even more so when he tucked into a secluded alley to put the mirror to the test.
“Alighty, now that the rabble’s gone…” he gave the mirror a devious grin. “I demand you tell me all there is to know about those pesky Crystal Gems!”
For a long moment, the mirror was silent. Gideon’s smile quickly shifted into an annoyed scowl, his already low patience plummeting. But then, the mirror slowly responded, echoing a quiet “...what?” from Dipper.
“I said I wanna know all of the Crystal Gems’ dirty little secrets!” Gideon snapped, shaking the mirror. “All of their powers, their weapons, their weaknesses ! Tell me how to get the upper hand on ‘em once and for all!”
The mirror responded, though what it had to say was far from coherent. Instead, it almost seemed to glitch out entirely, flickering between broken bits and pieces of everything it had heard that day, scarcely able to get a full word out of any of them. Its glass flashed erratically with faces and images, far too quickly for Gideon to even begin to make sense of any of them. Its speed only increased as it tried to force something out, as sharply scrambled as that something was.
“Nnnnnn-no–not–Crrrrrrystal–”
“–o-one–onnnne of–NOT one ooooof–”
“–Gems–Crystal Gemssssss–Hommme–wrrrrr–”
“Trai–Not–SSSSSSTOPPPPP! Reblssssssss–NOOOOO!”
“OOOOOOUUUUUTTTT! Let–me–ouuuuuuuu-”
“What in the world…?” Gideon wondered, aptly alarmed as the mirror kept crooning nonsense. He shook the mirror again, finally managing to snap it out of its frantic daze, though even still, Gideon was far from satisfied. “Confounded thing! Are you broken or somethin’?”
The mirror flickered, seemingly catching itself from its meltdown. It planted itself back in the present, turning its focus back on Gideon as it finally offered him a proper response. Just not the one he was looking for. “Are you–dumb–dork?”
“W-wha-?” Gideon started, offended. “How dare you!? Do you have any idea who you’re speakin’ to, you-”
“You little-piece of junk!” the mirror teased, courtesy of Lars and Robbie.
Gideon gasped, scandalized as his grip on the mirror’s handle tightened sharply. “Now you listen here. Nobody, and I mean nobody speaks to Gideon Gleeful like that! Now you’d best get to answerin’ all my questions or I’ll shatter ya to smithereens!”
The mirror clearly didn’t take his threats seriously. Instead, it simply, smugly doubled down on its putting Gideon in his place. “Try–it–jerk.”
“GAH!” Gideon yelled, unable to curb his temper any longer. He tossed the mirror as hard and as far as he could, eager to watch it meet its end against the concrete ground at the alley’s entrance. Fortunately, that wasn’t what happened as it landed safely in Dipper’s hand instead.
“Got it!” he announced, relieved, as Steven and Mabel joined him.
“Yeah!” Mabel cheered, giving her brother a hearty pat on the back. “Nice catch, bro-bro!”
“W-wait, no!” Gideon charged at the trio, hoping to reclaim the mirror. He didn’t get very far, however, as Dipper was easily able to hold it high out of his reach. “Give it back!”
“I don’t understand,” Steven frowned. “If you wanted to keep it, why’d you throw it away?”
“‘Cause that darned thing was makin’ fun of me!” Gideon snapped, furious.
“Really?” Mabel let out a snicker. “Oh man, I wish we could have been here for that! It must have been soooo funny. Mirror, you really are the best!”
“I-know,” the mirror proudly affirmed in Stan’s voice.
“If ya’ll know what’s good for you, you’ll hand that mirror over right now ,” Gideon growled. Despite his best efforts at being threatening, none of the kids felt very intimidated by him without the power the amulet used to give him.
“Yeah, not happening,” Dipper said, lightly shoving him away. “I don’t even get what you thought you had to gain by taking it in the first place.”
“Do you think I’m daft, boy?” Gideon narrowed his eyes at him. “I know that mirror’s another one of them magical Gem artifacts, one that I thought would hold all the answers I’ve been lookin’ for. Instead, I was sorely disappointed by nothin’ more than a malfunctioning menace .”
“You’re–the–menace!” the mirror shot back, much to Mabel’s amusement.
“Ha!” she chuckled. “Got ‘im!”
“Uh… I hate to break it to you, Gideon,” Steven began. “But the mirror isn’t a Gem artifact. We found it at the Mystery Shack this morning.”
Gideon took pause, genuinely surprised by this news. Dipper, Mabel, and Steven were unsure of what to make of the small, oddly sinister smile that spread across his face next. “...I see,” he said simply. Whatever he might’ve meant by that, they had no idea. Still, they were relieved when he began to back away into the shadows of the alley. “Go ahead and keep that silly ol’ mirror then,” he said, his smirk deepening. “I have a feelin’ I’ll be finding all the answers I wanted it to give me–and then some–soon enough somewhere else …”
With that, he vanished into the darkness, leaving an aptly confused trio behind. “Well,” Dipper said, frowning. “That’s ominous.”
“Do you think he knows that’s a dead-end alley?” Steven asked.
“Who cares?” Mabel shrugged as she led the way back out onto the street. She took the mirror from Dipper, happily holding it high as a show of their victory. “Sorry you had to put up with Gideon , mirror, but we’re soooo glad to have you back!”
“Thank-you!” the mirror returned, showing its gratitude the best it could by adding another unique phrase into the mix: “Sssssteven—Dipper—and—Mabel—are—my—new friends!”
As surprised as the kids were by this, they couldn’t help but exchange a set of warm smiles with each other and with the mirror. “Really?” Steven asked.
The mirror confirmed it with his own laughter, followed by a cheerful “Yeah!”
“Oh, mirror, you’re our friend too!” Mabel joined the mirror as it let out another bright chuckle.
“You know, normally I wouldn’t really consider something like a mirror as a friend,” Dipper began with a small, fond smile. “But…”
“Oh my gosh!” Steven gasped, stars in his eyes. “Dipper! You warmed up to the mirror, didn’t you?”
“Maybe… Just a little…” Dipper shrugged, despite his lasting smile.
“This is so great!” Mabel bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. “Oh! You know what? We still haven’t shown the mirror to the Gems yet!”
“You’re right!” Steven exclaimed, turning to the mirror. “They’ve gotta be back from their mission by now. The Gems will love you!”
“Nooooo!” the mirror suddenly shouted in all three of their voices.
“Well… that’s concerning…” Dipper said, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, I’m sure it’s just being a little shy,” Steven said, offering the mirror a comforting smile.
“Yeah, I mean, it did take the mirror a while for it to start talking to us,” Mabel added. “It’ll just have to get used to the Gems too!”
“Ok, but… are you guys sure that showing the mirror to the Gems is a good idea?” Dipper asked. “You do remember how much they freaked out over the journal, don’t you?”
“But this is totally different,” Mabel protested with a wave of her hand. “For starters, the mirror isn’t full of all sorts of super-personal junk about the Gems like the journal was.”
“And besides, we agreed that we were all going to trust each other,” Steven said earnestly. “What better way to start then by letting the Gems in on this?”
While Steven did have a solid point, Dipper wasn’t so sure he totally agreed with it. From what he’d seen of the Gems so far this summer, he knew they could be a bit… over-reactive sometimes. What had happened with both the Light Prism and the journal had been proof enough of that. There really was no way to know what they’d think about something like the mirror. But even so, if there was any to keep their promise to the Gems, to show they trusted them and prove they deserved to be trusted in turn… Dipper figured this would be it.
“Alright, fine,” he finally agreed. “Let’s go show the Gems.”
“Noooo!” the mirror screamed again, but Steven quickly, warmly reassured it.
“Don’t worry. They’re a good audience.”
By the time the kids made it back to the temple, night had fallen. Sure enough, the Gems were back from their mission, relaxing in the den when the kids arrived.
“Guys!” Steven exclaimed they burst into the house. “Wait till you see-”
“Yo! Ste-man! Dipstick! M’bel!” Amethyst playfully greeted each of them.
“Howdy,” Garnet pointed a finger gun at the trio. “Bang.”
“Hello, kids,” Pearl said politely. For some reason, she’d amassed a tall, yet very neat tower of random objects. She continued adding onto it with various household objects in the hopes of making it even more organized and aesthetically pleasing.
“Um… what’s with the huge pile?” Dipper asked.
“Pearl got in one of her ‘cleaning moods’ today,” Amethyst explained, smirking. “So she did… that. You guys wanna see something hilarious?” Her grin grew mischievous as she grabbed one of Steven’s stuffed animals, sitting it on the edge of the pile. Pearl only let it stay there for a split second before her spear skewered straight through its stomach.
“You don’t understand!” she scolded, the stuffed bear still impaled on her weapon. “Symmetrical means both sides have to be the same !” Amethyst broke down laughing as Pearl plucked the bear from her spear, throwing it down into a pile of other ruined items Amethyst had tried to add to the stack.
“M.C. Bear-Bear!” Steven cried, horrified at the fate of his favorite stuffed bear. He quickly got over it, when he stole a glance down at the mirror in his hand, letting excitement overtake him again. “Okay, that’s great. Anyway, check this thing out!”
With a huge smile, he held the mirror up so his guardians could see it. The second they so much as caught sight of it, however, they stiffened, their eyes growing wide with alarm as silent shock filled their faces.
“You guys are speechless, aren’t you?” Mabel asked, unbothered by their reaction. “We totally get it. This mirror is pretty amazing.”
“W-where…” Pearl finally regained her voice. She took a wavering step closer to the kids, her focus fixated solely on the mirror in Steven’s hands. “Where did you three find that mirror?”
“It was stored in a box down at the Mystery Shack,” Steven explained.
“What?!” Pearl balked, bewildered. “All these years we spent looking for it, and Stan, of all people, had it all along?! Amethyst, you didn’t give that to him, did you?!”
“Uh, no,” Amethyst crossed her arms, defensive. “Don’t look at me. You’re the one who lost it in the first place, remember?”
“Wait… You guys know about this mirror?” Dipper asked, surprised.
The Gems were quiet for a moment, only exchanging a brief, apprehensive look before Garnet finally replied. “That’s no ordinary mirror. We found it at the Galaxy Warp centuries ago.”
“Y-yes!” Pearl added, nervously wringing her hands. “It’s a Gem-powered mirror that can capture and display any event it’s witnessed in all of Gem history!”
“Whoa… really?” Steven asked, stars in his eyes.
Pearl slowly began to settle down as she knelt down beside Steven, putting an arm around him. “I have to admit, I’m very surprised you kids found this. But you’re in for a real treat! It’ll offer you everything you’ve ever wanted to know about our fellow Gems and our culture!”
“Hold on,” Dipper cut in, immensely intrigued. “You mean there are other Gems?”
“Uh duh!” Amethyst grinned. “There’s like, tons of us out there!”
“Wow!” Mabel exclaimed, awestruck. “Well, where are they?! We wanna meet them all!”
Another beat of suddenly awkward silence filled the air. The Gems hesitated, all in different ways; Amethyst shrunk into her spot on the couch, Pearl slipped a hand over her mouth, and in the end, Garnet answered with a vague, emotionless response. “That’s… impossible.”
“What? Why?” Steven frowned. Before any of the kids could press them for anything else, Pearl jumped in again. Largely in the hopes of distracting them away from such an uncomfortable topic above all else.
“O-okay!” she sharply exclaimed, turning the kids’ attention back to the mirror. “Why don’t we activate this mirror and give it a little test run?” Pearl cleared her throat before addressing the mirror firmly, authoritatively. “Show us the Galaxy Warp.”
Oddly enough, the mirror was completely still and silent, a complete contrast to how chatty it had been all day. “Show us the Galaxy Warp!” Pearl tried again, growing annoyed “Oh, come on! I know you’ve seen it!” She tugged on the mirror, glaring at it. She sighed, disappointed, when she turned it over and saw the cracked stone on the back. “I suppose it is in pretty rough shape. It must finally be broken.” She shook her head as she handed the mirror back to Steven. “What a shame.”
“But it’s not broken!” Mabel countered. “It’s been talking to us all day.”
“Wait, what ?” Pearl asked, taken aback.
“Yeah! It’s like a person!” Steven added. “Here, we’ll show you. Say “hey”,” he instructed the mirror. But once again, it didn’t utter as much as a single sound. “Lil’ buddy…” he urged gently, but still, the mirror would not comply. “Uh… excuse us.”
The twins joined Steven as he turned away from the Gems so they could speak with the mirror in private. “Come on, mirror!” Mabel encouraged. “Don’t be shy! The Gems won’t bite! Well, Amethyst sometimes does, but they won’t bite you!”
“Um… guys? I’m really not sure about this…” Dipper muttered. He stole a glance back at the Gems, taking notice at their mutually anxious, downright disturbed expressions. As sure a sign as any that this reveal wasn’t going anywhere near as well as they’d hoped.
Steven didn’t pay him much mind in favor of practically pleading with the mirror. “You wanna come out, don’t you? You have so much to say and funny noises to share from across the ages. Aren’t we summer fun buddies?”
For what felt like forever, the mirror remained still, almost as if it was in some sort of unspoken conflict with itself. Until it finally gave in with none other than its favorite joke once again: “PFFFT!”
“There’s the mirror we know and love!” Mabel happily cheered.
“You just couldn’t help yourself, huh?” Steven asked, chuckling.
“Just for—you—guys!”
The Gems could only watch on, dumbfounded, as the mirror launched into another round of repetitive laughter. “It’s… talking to them?” Pearl whispered, incredulous. “It shouldn’t be doing that. I-it should just be following orders.”
“Garnet, do something…” Amethyst urged between clenched teeth.
Sure enough, Garnet stood, towering over the kids as she stepped over to them. “Steven, Dipper, Mabel,” she began, her voice somehow even sterner than it usually was.
At the sight of Garnet’s approach, the mirror quickly switched from laughter to a panicked cry, startling the kids in the process. Still, even as they shrunk a bit away from her, Garnet did not back down. “You should give the mirror to us. It will be safer where we can watch it.”
“Yeah! Let’s bubble it!” Amethyst growled, cracking her knuckles.
“Nooooo!” the mirror wailed. The kids looked at it, torn between rising confusion and fear. Fear that only grew when Garnet held her hand out to them expectantly, demandingly .
“H-how will it be safer?” Mabel asked, worried.
“It just will be,” Garnet answered. The low light of the room filled her shades, making her entire face look uncharacteristically dark and cold. “Don’t make me take it away from you three.”
As the mirror howled in terror once more, Steven hugged it close to him. His eyes were wide but his stance was firm as he turned back to face Garnet, his heart aching all the while. “It doesn’t want to go with you! Can’t you hear it screaming?”
“Steven, it’s just a mirror, a tool,” Garnet stoutly dismissed his concerns. “It can’t want anything.”
“You’re wrong!” Dipper spoke up. While a part of him regretted his boldness, he didn’t flinch when Garnet shot a harsh glare his way. After all, the last thing he wanted–the last thing any of them wanted was for the Gems to abscond with the mirror and leave it to a fate unknown. “It talked to us! It has a personality and everything! You can’t just-”
“I can,” Garnet asserted. “And I will. You three should have never found that mirror in the first place. You’ll thank us for this later.”
As distraught as they were, the kids felt painfully powerless as Garnet began to reach out to take the mirror from them by force. All the while, the mirror kept on screaming, the faces in it changing rapidly, as if it were begging them to do something, anything . But what could they do?
True, they had promised they would start trusting the Gems more, but how could they trust them now, after all this? The mirror’s desperation and fear was startlingly clear, to the point that all three of them felt it, shared it. But even despite that fear, there was one thing they knew for certain: they weren’t about to hand over their new friend so easily.
“NOOOOO!” the mirror shrieked, somehow louder than ever before. And its cry, echoing their own voices right back at them, was enough to finally force one of them into action.
Steven let out a frustrated growl, unable to keep his dread, his worry, his anger contained any longer. “It wants to be with US !” he shouted, slapping Garnet’s hand away just shy of the mirror. His hand went even further than that as he struck her in the face, entirely on accident, knocking her shades off to reveal–
Not just one, but three eyes, all piercing them straight through with a burning, icy glare.
For a moment, nothing but deafening, crushing silence echoed through the house. Somewhere behind Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst stood, shocked stiff. The kids weren’t far off from them; for a moment, they were only able to stare back at Garnet, floored and fearful, unsure of what to do or say or even think. That is, until the mirror screamed again. And once more, that was all it took to get them moving, to kick them off on the same exact, terrified thought:
They had to run .
Before Garnet could even move to try and take the mirror again, they had bolted out the door. As they rushed down the porch stairs, Steven cried out a distraught apology for his guardians. Not that he thought they’d ever forgive him for what he’d just done. “I-I’m sorry!”
In the aftermath of their hurried retreat, Pearl and Amethyst approached Garnet slowly. She was still seething, clearly, even as she slipped her shades back on to hide her trio of eyes away again. “Those three kids are in big trouble,” she said, her hands curling into tight fists as she stormed after them.
“G-Garnet, wait!” Pearl called as she and Amethyst hurried to follow. As they dreaded every second of whatever was about to come next. “I’m sure they didn’t understand what they were doing!”
Finally, the mirror had stopped screaming, not that it made matters any less worse. The kids darted through the darkness of the woods, with only the dull light the mirror put off to guide them. And while that would have been frightening enough on its own, their hearts still pounded with fear over what had just happened with the Gems. True, they knew they wouldn’t hurt them if they found them, but the kids were hardly worried about themselves. Instead, their concerns rested solely with the mirror, with the way the Gems had reacted so badly to it, with the way they wanted to take it, to silence it, as if it didn’t deserve to have a voice of its own at all.
They couldn’t let that happen, not now, not ever. And if that meant betraying the Gems’ newfound trust in them, if that meant all but burning their bridges with Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl alike… then so be it. Anything to protect their newfound friend.
Eventually, the kids were forced to stop simply just to catch their breath. They tucked away behind a large tree near a creek, resting against it for support. They knew it’d only be a matter of time before the Gems found them, and once they did… they couldn’t bear to think about what might happen.
“What do we do?! What do we do?!” Mabel asked in a breathless frenzy.
“Uh… I-I don’t…” Steven bit his lip. He glanced down at the mirror, at a total loss.
“We are so dead!” Dipper sharply explained. He narrowly resisted the urge to pace around out of panic, if only to keep their hiding spot hidden. “They’re probably chasing after us even as we speak! How are we supposed to keep the mirror from them if they find us?!”
“We can’t let them have it!” Mabel said, her voice wrought with dread. “It doesn’t like them! It likes us! It should be with us!”
“What’s their problem with you anyway?” Steven asked the mirror. He was taken aback by the sight of his own reflection in it, at the wild terror filling his eyes. Terror he doubted he’d be able to shake any time soon.
To his surprise, the image in the mirror quickly changed, glowing brightly in the surrounding darkness. “A-are you trying to say something?” he asked as Dipper and Mabel pressed in closer to see for themselves.
The mirror’s image shifted quickly, its message distorted and disjointed, yet strangely clear enough all the same. “Away from home,” it began in Lars’ voice, though it whirled to show several other faces as it relayed a desperate plea. “Let—me—OUT!”
“What? What’s it talking about? Let who out?” Dipper asked, shaking his head.
“We don’t understand!” Steven exclaimed, gripping the mirror like a vice.
“Steven! Dipper! Mabel!” Pearl’s distant call echoed through the woods. It was as good of a reminder as any that they were quickly running out of time.
“Oh no! They’re coming!” Mabel whispered tightly.
“Please!” Steven pleaded with the mirror. Tears filled his eyes as he stared at its ever-shifting surface. “We want to help you! What can we do?!”
Suddenly, the mirror’s image changed to something completely different, completely new . Instead of using borrowed responses, it displayed a trio of silhouettes; it didn’t take the kids long to see themselves in them. They watched, practically entranced, as they pulled on the stone on the back of the mirror, until at last, it was free.
None of them had any idea what would happen if they did this, but they did know they had little time to question it. Instead, they simply exchanged a silent, resolved nod, determined to do whatever it took to help the mirror, regardless of the consequences. Steven gripped the smooth stone first, with Dipper and Mabel holding onto his wrist for extra support.
Even so, they struggled to pry it out of its perch, to the point that none of them noticed a thin stream of water crawling across the ground from the creek. More water soon joined it, slowly tracing an intricate pattern on the ground at their feet. Yet still, they paid it no mind, not when the stone suddenly began to budge, not when they could hear the Gems’ calls growing ever closer, not when they knew the mirror, their friend was depending on them.
And, with one final, fierce yank, the kids pulled the stone free.
In an instant, the mirror shattered as the stone flew out of Steven’s hand. It glided over to the stream, stopping just short of its edge. The kids watched, awestruck as a bright blue glow poured out from it, illuminating the entire forest surrounding it. And from this light, a figure–a woman –emerged, with short hair and a dress billowing out as the stone claimed a spot upon their back. She hovered in the air, only for a moment, until the light abruptly faded, leaving her to fall to the ground on all fours.
Unsure of what else to do, the kids slowly, carefully began to approach her. From what they could see of her, she was slim, agile, almost graceful in a way. She kept the coloration of her gemstone, with blue hair, blue skin, and a simple blue dress. And yet still, the crack on that stone remained, and if that wasn’t worrying enough on its own, then her eyes certainly were. She slowly glanced back at them with a vacant, mirror-like gaze, with eyes that reflected the kids as they stared into them. Her expression, while weak and weary, still carried some level of gratitude all the same as she softly spoke.
“T-thank you…” she almost sighed the words out in something akin to relief. She began pushing herself up off the ground, only to collapse, unsteady on her feet. Steven and Dipper both rushed to her side to support her when she tried again. To their surprise, she was only a few feet taller than the three of them once she pulled herself to her full height.
“You three... You actually talked to me. You helped me!” she offered them a warm, genuine smile as she looked between the three of them. “Let’s see… it’s… Steven… and Dipper… and Mabel… right?”
While still awash in awe, the kids returned her smile and nodded nonetheless. For her part, the woman’s own grin widened just a bit. “I’m Lapis,” she introduced herself. “Lapis Lazuli. Are you three really Crystal Gems?”
“Oh, we’re not,” Mabel pointed to herself and Dipper. “But Steven is!”
“Yeah!” Steven nodded with a bright smile.
“O-oh…” Lapis frowned as she turned her attention to the twins. “So then… what are you two?”
“Um… we’re human?” Dipper informed her.
“Really?” Lapis asked, genuinely curious. “Two humans and a Crystal Gem… But… you set me free.”
“But—wha-?” Steven questioned. Lapis didn’t get the chance to explain, however, before the Crystal Gems abruptly arrived on the scene.
“Kids!” Garnet shouted as she broke through the woods first, her gauntlets already summoned. Amethyst and Pearl gasped as they noticed the frightened Lapis, calling upon their own weapons for a fight. A fight that the kids could see coming just as much as they were resolved to prevent it.
“Wait!” Steven ran over to the Gems, while the twins stayed with Lapis. They weren’t sure if they could do much to protect her from their inexplicable wrath, but as they soon found out, they wouldn’t need to. Lapis could protect herself more than well enough.
“YOU!” she hissed at the Crystal Gems. As her hands curled into fists, the stream behind her suddenly swelled high into the air. It formed into the shape of a massive fist, towering high over everyone below it. As startled as the kids were, they could do nothing to stop Lapis as she flew into a fit of rage that far surpassed that of any of her apparent foes.
“You three knew I was in there, and you didn’t do anything !” she shouted, outraged. “Did you even wonder who I used to be?!”
With a sharp cry, she brought her water arm down hard upon the Gems. While Pearl and Amethyst rolled out of its path, Garnet caught it squarely, though even her formidable strength wouldn’t be able to keep it at bay for long.
“Steven! Dipper! Mabel! Run!” Pearl warned as chaos unfolded through the clearing. The kids hardly heeded that warning as they kept their spot near Lapis, baffled by her power, by her sheer might. By how someone so strong had seemingly been stuck in that mirror for so long.
“W-what are you doing?!” Dipper asked her. However, as caught up in her rage as she was, she made no effort to explain herself.
“I’m Lapis Lazuli!” she declared fiercely, both power and pain ringing through her voice. “And you can’t keep me trapped here anymore!”
Without even moving a finger, Lapis called upon the creek again. She raised its water high above the bank, forming a path that cut somewhere downstream. “They’re not going to let us leave…” she scowled, sending a hateful glare the Gems’ way.
“Leave?” Dipper asked, confused.
Lapis shook her head, using some of the creek water to push the approaching Gems back to buy herself some time. “Steven, Dipper, Mabel, come with me,” she said, offering her hand out to them.
“Where?” Steven questioned, warily eyeing the creek behind her.
Lapis held her head high, her voice stern with yearning and resolve alike “Home.”
“Y-you mean the creek?” Mabel asked, nervous.
“No,” Lapis took a wistful glance up into the night sky. “I mean home .”
Needless to say, the kids had no idea what she was talking about. None of them got much of a chance to ask her, much less answer her either. After all, their anxious silence alone was enough of an answer for Lapis.
“Fine…” she relented sadly. She allowed the wall of water blocking the Gems to finally fall as she turned to the kids one last time. “Don’t trust them,” she warned, her face awash in both anger and despair. “Goodbye.”
Without another word, Lapis stepped into the empty creek bed, letting its water wash over her. The creek spilled over in a heavy wave from the sudden overflow, knocking both the kids and the Gems back into the woods. By the time they’d gathered their bearings and finished coughing up water, the kids glanced up to find that Lapis–
Lapis was gone.
It wasn’t long after that the Gems descended upon them. Pearl was the first to pull them into a tight, protective embrace as she fretted over them for any potential injuries. “Are you three alright?!” she asked, pulling them even closer to her.
“We would be if you let us breathe, Pearl,” Dipper tightly complained.
“O-oh, yes! Of course.” She quickly let them out of her arms, allowing them the space they so clearly needed in the aftermath of… whatever just happened.
“So… that was another Gem?” Steven asked. He stared off in the direction Lapis had fled, to the point where the creek disappeared somewhere beyond the distant trees.
“Yes…” Pearl let out a long, remorseful sigh.
No one really knew what to say after that. Really, what could they say, about the mirror, about Lapis, about anything? Though the creek had settled and returned to its normal flow, signs of its upheaval still rested all around them, in the drenched ground and uprooted trees. Just as signs of the upheaval between the Gems and the kids still rested in the tense, uncertain silence standing between them.
In the end, that silence was eventually broken by Garnet, who only, simply said: “Steven, you’re grounded.”
Notes:
Next time, the gang takes back the falls (early!).
Chapter 12: Waterfall Gem
Summary:
The Gems and the Pines set out to restore the suddenly empty lake and upturned waterfall. But will the kids be able to convince the furious Lapis Lazuli to return what she has stolen?
Notes:
Back so soon? What can I say, its easy to rewrite chapters like this that I also think are pretty good and don't need much fixing. Still, it is always fun to do a little writing for Lapis, I do very much adore her. I don't have much more to say beyond that, so let's get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
ZN LILPR LQFRS HPW QLTE SHAN
USJBT AZP'LA ZWEUGV KZMTLSJ
“I’m grounded?!”
Steven was dismayed, and he made no efforts to hide it from the Gems. Neither did Dipper and Mabel as they stood alongside him to face not just them, but Stan too. They’d gotten him involved on the way back from the woods, dragging him back up to the temple and filling him in on exactly what his niece and nephew had helped Steven do. On exactly who they’d set free.
“Yes, you’re grounded!” Pearl sternly confirmed.
“You disobeyed an order,” Garnet added, arms crossed.
“And as far as I’m concerned, you knuckleheads are grounded too,” Stan scowled at the twins.
“Huh? Why?” Mabel asked.
“For not telling me that mirror could talk!” he crossly retorted. “Do you know how much money I could have made off of an attraction like that?!” He quickly changed his tune when he met the dry, disapproving look Garnet and Pearl were sending his way. “Oh, and uh, for letting loose some sort of crazy water witch, or something like that. I dunno.”
“So now we’re gonna bury you three ‘til you’ve learned your lesson!” Amethyst held up a shovel.
“Aah! That’s not how grounding works!” Steven gasped, alarmed.
“Are you guys seriously grounding us just for helping someone?” Dipper asked, appalled and angry. “Lapis was trapped in that mirror. Probably for a really long time from the way she acted. We did the right thing by helping her out!”
“Are you reeeeeally sure about that?” Amethyst asked.
“Perhaps we should remind you that she violently and viciously assaulted us with water?” Pearl asked with an indignant huff.
“Yeah, but she only did that after you guys tried to attack her first!” Mabel protested. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same if someone wanted to punch you in the face!”
“That doesn’t matter now,” Garnet said.
“Uh, I think it matters a lot,” Dipper gave the Gems a critical look. For as bad as things had gotten between them when they ran off with the mirror earlier, he saw no reason to try and salvage what was already broken now. He saw no reason not to call them out when they were so clearly, so obviously in the wrong. “You guys said you found the mirror hundreds of years ago. If you knew Lapis was trapped in there all that time, why didn’t you ever try to free her?”
“It wasn’t that simple, Dipper,” Pearl began. “It’s true we did know a Gem was powering the mirror, but we didn’t know whether or not she would be… dangerous if we set her free. It would have been a risk to us and quite possibly the rest of the world.”
“But if you guys had freed her back then, maybe she would have been thankful and you guys could have been friends!” Steven said with an earnest, hopeful smile.
“Uh… I hate to break it to you, Steven, but that probably wouldn’t have happened…” Amethyst frowned.
“Why not?” Mabel asked.
“It’s because they can’t get along with anyone,” Stan pointed a deadpan thumb at the Gems. Aside from a short, sharp glare from Pearl, they largely ignored him.
“There’s no point in thinking about what could have been,” Garnet concluded. “What’s important now is that with a Gem as powerful as Lapis Lazuli on the loose, the entire town could be in danger,”
“But Lapis doesn’t want to hurt anyone,” Steven countered, concerned. “She just wants to go home, wherever that is for her. What’s so bad about that?”
“Oh, Steven…” Pearl glanced away. She hesitated for a long moment, struggling to think of what to say, of what to tell him about where they really came from, what they really were. “‘Home’ for Gems is… well, it’s… you see… it-”
She didn’t get a chance to say much more, however, as the front door burst open to reveal a breathless, beleaguered Greg. “Dad?” Steven asked, surprised by the sudden intrusion.
For a moment, Greg could only lean against the door, trying to recover from his rushed run up here. Eventually, he managed to get it together enough to get something out. “Uh… you guys? There’s sort of a… situation going on down at the lake…”
“Greg, we don’t have time to deal with whatever might be happening down there,” Pearl groaned, annoyed. “We have a situation of our own to deal with here.”
“Yeah, well… you guys might wanna check this one out,” Greg frowned as he led the way back out the door. “It’s a bit of a doozy…”
By the time the Pines and the Gems arrived at the lake, most of the town had already beaten them there. The crowd was buzzing with quiet alarm over what had become of Gravity Falls’ most famous landmark. And upon a first glance at it, it was no wonder why.
The lake was, by all accounts, completely drained. What had once been a vast body of murky water was now nothing more than a dry, deep pit dotted only by the occasional puddle or long-sunken flotsam. It was easy to see exactly where all of its water had gone. Because instead of flowing down into the lake, the massive waterfall for which the town was named was now flowing upward instead. It soared high over the cliff, ascending somewhere beyond the clouds as it breached the very sky itself. A waterfall now rising ever higher out of reach with each passing moment.
The Gems stood among the crowd, craning their necks to try and see where the imposing tower might lead. Likewise, the kids were awestruck by it, and even Stan couldn’t help but adjust his glasses to make sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him again. “Well,” he said staunchly. “That’s somethin’ you don’t see everyday.”
“What happened?” Dipper asked, completely bewildered.
“That’s what everyone’s trying to figure out.”
“Connie!” Steven smiled as she walked over to join them. She didn’t really share his excitement though, in favor of offering her friends a worried frown.
“Where have you guys been?” she asked them. “The whole town’s been going crazy ever since the waterfall started… doing that.”
Steven, Dipper, and Mabel exchanged an uncertain glance. There was a lot to fill her in on, a lot that likely had to do with whatever was happening with the waterfall. But with the town as unsettled and unnerved as it was, they quickly found there was no time.
“Hey!” Mayor Dewey’s voice broke through the anxious din of the crowd. “It’s those magical ladies!” A frustrated scowl rested on his face as he hotly marched over to the Gems, megaphone in hand. “What’s going on here?”
“The lake is gone, obviously,” Garnet curtly replied.
“That’s right!” Dewey groaned, distraught. “And the waterfall is flowing up instead of down! This town is called Gravity Falls for a reason! This is false advertising! Aw, we’re gonna lose all our summer business!”
“And all the tourist babes!” Lars lamented. He hardly noticed Sadie rolling her eyes as she stood alongside him.
“Who’s gonna buy my fries?!” Fryman asked.
“And my pizza!” Kofi Pizza added angrily.
“And our bacon coffee!” Lazy Susan exclaimed, concerned.
“Who’s going to read all of the steamy gossip in the Gravity Falls Gossiper ?” Toby Determined wailed awkwardly.
“Who’s gonna have fun at Funland Arcade?!” Mr. Smiley frantically demanded.
“Who’s going to spend money at the Mystery Shack, by far the best tourist trap in Gravity Falls?!” Stan panicked above them all. A hush fell over the crowd as several other local business owners sent him flat, unimpressed glances. “What?”
“As mayor,” Mayor Dewey continued, his voice blaring at Garnet through his megaphone. “I demand that you explain this disaster immediate-” She quickly cut him off by slapping the megaphone out of his hand. That was all the warning Dewey needed to shrink away from her in fear as she succinctly explained.
“It was Lapis Lazuli.”
“Wait, Lapis did this?” Mabel asked, confused.
“Oh yes… I suppose that would make sense…” Pearl projected a holographic image of Lapis from her gem. The townsfolk all murmured in muted amazement, but Pearl hardly noticed as she continued. “Considering her ability to manipulate water, this would be an easy feat for a Gem like her.”
“But why would Lapis steal the lake?” Steven asked, frowning. “She’s a Gem, like us.”
The Gems exchanged an apprehensive glance. None of them had the heart to tell him the full truth, not now anyway; they had hoped they wouldn’t have to for a long time, and yet…
Now they weren’t sure they had much of a choice anymore.
Even so, Pearl turned away, looking past the water tower Lapis had made. Looking up to the sky that tower was slowly but surely creeping ever higher into. “There’s a lot you don’t know about Gems, Steven…”
It didn’t take long for the Gems to get tired of listening to Mayor Dewey desperately begging them to bring back the lake. After tersely assuring the townsfolk that they would fix the problem, everyone–Gems, Pines, Connie, Greg, and Soos–all congregated at the temple to strategize. Not that there was any clear-cut strategy when it came to a lake running dry and a waterfall flowing in reverse.
“How could I have known that the Gem contained in that mirror would be so powerful?” Pearl fretted, shaking her head.
“Who cares about her? How are you three gonna get the waterfall back?” Stan pointed an accusing finger at the Gems. “You heard what Dewey said! Without the lake, no tourists are gonna bother coming to this nowhere town. No tourists means no visitors to the shack. And no visitors to the shack means I won’t make any money! And if I don’t make any money… Oh, I don’t even wanna think about it!”
“Geez, chill out, Stan,” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “Don’t have a heart attack. We’ll deal with it. Somehow…”
“Maybe if you dudes just ask this Lapis lady to give the waterfall back nicely then she’ll do it,” Soos suggested.
“That won’t work,” Garnet quickly shot the idea down. “Lapis isn’t the kind of Gem that can be reasoned with.”
Steven, Dipper, and Mabel weren’t so sure they were willing to believe that. Even so, they didn’t bother wasting time protesting the Gems any further than they already had. Instead, the three of them pulled away from the others, huddling together to try and work through this problem on their own.
“This is bad, you guys,” Dipper said, frowning. “Really bad. And I can’t help but feel as though we’re kind of responsible for it.”
“Yeah, I mean, we were the ones who let Lapis out…” Mabel rubbed the back of her neck. “But how were we supposed to know that she’d go crazy and steal the lake?”
“She must have a good reason for it,” Steven said. “If only we could go talk to her and see what’s wrong…”
They stopped short, each of them gasping at the exact same time as the exact same idea struck them. “That’s it!” they proclaimed with newfound, unified resolve. It wasn’t much of a plan, but it was still a plan anyway, one that only they could carry out.
Because if Lapis wouldn’t listen to anyone else, then certainly she’d have to listen to them. She’d have to, they hoped, listen to her friends.
They took advantage of the adults distracting each other to prepare for the arduous journey ahead as quickly and quietly as they could. They were just about ready to slip out of the temple, unseen and unnoticed, so no one could try to stop them. Until Connie happened to catch sight of them as they crept towards the door.
“Where are you guys going?” she asked. And just like that, all eyes were suddenly on them.
Even so, Steven and the twins stood their ground, refusing to let anyone hold them back from what needed to be done. No matter how daunting and dangerous it might be. “We’re leaving to fix what we did to Gravity Falls,” Steven said, resolved.
“We’re the ones who set Lapis free from the mirror,” Dipper added, just as adamant. “Which means it’s our fault that the lake and the waterfall is gone.”
“So now we’re gonna go take back the falls!” Mabel bravely declared. “Or get really thirsty trying.”
Silence filled the air after that, for what felt like an unbearably long time at that. For the most part, no one seemed to react to their mission, which was why Dipper couldn’t help but ask the most obvious question first.
“You guys aren’t gonna try and… stop us or anything?”
“Because if you are, then we won’t listen!” Mabel stomped her foot down defiantly. “We won’t stop, we won’t rest until we bring that waterfall back! Right, Steven?”
“Right!” Steven readily agreed. “I mean, we might stop for a snack break or something like that, but we’re going to do this, whatever it takes!”
With valiant smiles, the trio prepared to set out, entirely on their own. They soon found that, to their surprise and relief, they wouldn’t have to. “Wait up, kids,” Greg stepped up to place a steady hand on Steven’s shoulder. “I’m coming with you.”
“I want to help you guys too!” Connie eagerly volunteered. “Also, I feel weird being in your house if you’re not here, Steven.”
As happy as they were to have their help, they got even more as Lion padded over and perched a paw on Steven’s head. His soft roar was all they needed to know he’d be coming along for the ride, as much as his very presence startled Greg, Stan, and Soos alike.
“Clearly,” Pearl spoke up, smiling. “We’re coming too.
“You’re ungrounded, by the way,” Garnet said with an approving nod.
“Whoo!” Amethyst cheered as she jumped up onto the counter. “Road trip!”
“Dudes, I’m totally down for a magical road trip!” Soos exclaimed, excited. “Especially if you got snacks like you said.”
“Wow, you guys… Thanks!” Steven said, beaming. His smile turned a touch warmer as he looked up at the Gems, at just how supportive and encouraging they were of this mission. It was a welcome change from the heavy tension of the previous night, as sure a sign as any that things were starting to go back to the way they were supposed to be.
Or at least, they would be once the lake was back in its rightful place.
“What about you, Grunkle Stan?” Mabel asked. She peered past the others to find that he was the only one who had yet to step forward to join their cause. “Aren’t you coming too?”
“Why should I?” Stan scoffed.”It’s not like I’m not the one who made the falls go wacko.”
The twins exchanged a look, already knowing they weren’t about to let Stan off the hook that easily. Not when everyone else was already fully on board. “Ok, but remember, Grunkle Stan, we did find that mirror in your attic,” Dipper pointed out. “And if word gets out about how that mirror was connected to Lapis and to what’s happening to the waterfall? Oof, a lot of people are gonna be pretty angry at you .”
“So?” Stan stubbornly crossed his arms. “Almost everyone in town is always mad at me for some dumb reason or another anyway. You really think I care about what any of those losers thinks about me?”
“You will care if it means they stop spending money at the shack,” Garnet cut in with a very convincing point. Too convincing, much to Stan’s frustration.
“Ugh, fine ,” he groaned as he begrudgingly joined the others. “But only because my profits depend on that stupid waterfall.”
“Yeah!” Amethyst shouted, already booking it for the door. “Let’s go! This is gonna be great!”
“Amethyst, wait!” Pearl scolded, running out after her. The others soon followed, leaving Lion and the kids to bring up the rear as Connie pulled her friends aside in clear concern.
“Are you guys sure you’re ready for something like this?” she asked, frowning. “I mean, from the way the Gems made it sound, this could be dangerous…”
“Pft, dangerous-schmangerous,” Mabel flashed a brazen grin. “We’ve been up against worse! Like… uh… Well, I can’t really think of anything right now, but I’m sure something will come to me eventually.”
“I think what Mabel’s trying to say is, this’ll be easy,” Steven assured. “All we need to do is find Lapis and ask her to give the waterfall back. She’ll listen to us. We’re friends.”
“But what if she doesn’t give it back?” Connie wondered.
A long beat of silence passed as Steven and the twins exchanged another anxious look. The truth was, Lapis was still every bit as much of a mystery now as she was when she was trapped in the mirror. There was no telling if the fact that they let her go would be enough to convince her to release the waterfall. And if it wasn’t, if they couldn’t change her mind… “That’s… a good question…” Dipper said, hoping that they wouldn’t have to find out.
Mayor Dewey sat in what used to be the shallows of Lake Gravity Falls, disheveled and unshaven as he tried desperately to refill the empty lake with only a garden hose. As he mourned the death of the town’s lucrative tourist season, he barely noticed the colorful van and pastel pink lion that sped past him, setting out toward the floating cliffs. The drive to the top of the falls would take hours, but with their bold mission in mind, none of them minded the distance it would take to get them there.
Or at least, most of them didn’t.
“Stan, could you please move over a little?!” Pearl huffed, severely annoyed. “Between you and Amethyst and all of this garbage back here, I have no room!”
She tried wriggling out of her spot between the pair, only to remain all but stuck in place. With Greg and Garnet up in the front of the van, that left little room for Stan, Amethyst, Pearl, and Soos in the back. As cramped as they were against each other and most of Greg’s belongings, they were all much closer to each other than they ever wanted to be.
“Why are you even complaining, Pearl? You’re the skinniest one out of all of us!” Stan retorted. “But if you really need so much precious ‘personal space’, why don’t you ask Amethyst to move instead?”
“Ugh, fine,” Pearl rolled her eyes. “Amethyst, could you-”
“Shh, P, keep it down!” Amethyst didn’t even bother looking over at her. “I’m trying to watch Soos play this cool video game!” She hardly noticed the aggravated glare Pearl shot her way as she focused her attention back on Soos’s Game Guy, only to watch him lose a life.
“Aw, man! I thought I had it that time!” Soos frowned.
“Mind if I try?” Amethyst asked, grinning.
“Sure thing, dude.” He handed the game over to her. Almost as soon as she got her hands on it, however, she ran her character straight into the nearest pit, resulting in an immediate game over.
“Nice!” Amethyst cheered, not noticing Soos’s confusion. “I won!”
“Ugh, I can’t believe those kids roped me into going on this crazy train,” Stan crossed his arms, scowling. “And how come Garnet gets to sit all nice and comfy up front while the rest of us are squeezed together back here like a bunch of sardines?”
“I called shotgun,” Garnet replied, glancing back with a small smirk.
“I’ll give you $20 to switch places with me,” Stan offered, dropping his voice down to a whisper as he leaned forward.
“You and I both know you won’t,” Garnet calmly called his bluff.
Stan leaned back, quickly admitting defeat. “Fair enough.”
“Aw, come on, you guys, it’s not so bad,” Greg said. “I live back there so I would know.”
“That’s not really reassuring, Greg,” Pearl deadpanned.
“I know! How about we turn on some tunes to lighten the mood!” Greg suggested, putting a tape in. “This was one of Rose’s favorites.” A heavy metal song began to play, jamming through the stereo as the entire van thumped from its loud bass. While Pearl and Amethyst cringed, Soos cheerfully banged his head along with the tune. Stan, on the other hand, was nowhere near as taken with it.
“Geez, Greg! Turn that mess down!” he shouted over the music. “You’re gonna bust my hearing aid out!”
“O-oh! Sorry, Mr. Pines!” Greg laughed awkwardly as he quickly turned the music down a bit. He perked up again as he looked over at Garnet sitting alongside him. “What do you think, Garnet?”
She said nothing, only giving him a dry, unimpressed look before she kicked the door of the van open and jumped out. She rolled across the ground, still completely straight-faced, even as she passed by the startled kids as they rode by on Lion. Even so, none of them questioned it; this was Garnet after all. And for Garnet, it wasn’t out of the ordinary.
The road leading to the waterfall was thin and narrow, which meant the van could only go so fast up it. It wasn’t long before dusk began to fall upon Gravity Falls, casting the imposing tower of water in a strange, almost shimmering shade of orange. The tower in and of itself was something of a beacon for the group, a constant reminder of their destination that only grew taller and more intimidating the closer they got to it.
At the very least, the van’s seating situation had been rectified. Garnet had taken to reclining on the roof, allowing Stan to claim her former spot up front. As Soos, Greg, and Amethyst snoozed in the back, Pearl had taken over driving while Lion kept pace alongside the van with the kids in tow. The entire group had grown steadily quieter the closer they got to the former falls, as the weight of what they needed to do set in more and more. For Steven, Dipper, and Mabel at least, this wasn’t just about getting the lake back; it was about setting things right with someone they only hoped was still their friend.
If Lapis had ever truly been their friend in the first place, that is.
Steven was the first to speak to it, his heart heavy with guilt he just couldn’t shake. “I can’t believe Lapis would do this…” he said, staring up at the tower’s cloud-covered peak. “Gems shouldn’t fight each other.”
Pearl stole a glance over at him, heaving a soft, sad sigh as she quietly admitted the truth. “We’re always fighting Gems, actually.”
“What?!” the kids all gasped in equal shock.
“But why?” Mabel asked, concerned. “If there are other Gems out there, wouldn’t you all be friends?”
“Well… it’s not that simple…” Pearl frowned. “Oh, how do I put this? All Gems aren’t necessarily… good…”
“What do you mean?” Connie asked.
Suddenly awake, Amethyst pushed forward in between Pearl and Stan to chime into the conversation. “All those monsters we fight used to be just like us! Right, Pearl?”
Pearl sighed again, nodding remorsefully. “Yes… but they’ve become corrupted and broken. We have to take care of them, subdue them, contain them. It’s the best we can do for them… for now…”
“Wait…” Dipper began. “If all of those monsters are really Gems, then how did they get like… that?” It was a daunting thought, to know that so many of the monsters they’d squared off against so far this summer were once sane, once humanlike, or at least as humanlike as Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were. Even the journal hadn’t revealed that much, a secret so surprising and yet so obvious in hindsight. How he hadn’t managed to put the pieces together, to figure it out on his own, Dipper had no idea.
But even if he’d missed out on discovering the answer to one question, he wouldn’t dare miss out on finding the answers to all of the new questions that came along with it. If only those answers were something the Gems were more willing to give.
Because instead of answering him, Pearl and Amethyst only exchanged a short, anxious glance. Garnet was finally the one to actually speak to it, but even then, it wasn’t much. “It’s a long story.”
Dipper groaned, knowing exactly what a “long story” meant. It meant it was a story they Gems weren’t going to tell him, a story they didn’t want him–or anyone else for that matter-hearing. “Just how many mysterious secrets do you guys have?” he asked, not bothering to mask the bitter edge in his tone.
“Forget it, kid,” Stan spoke up. “You’d be here all day trying to count all of the secrets these three try to keep from everyone.”
“Come on, Stan,” Amethyst playfully kicked the back of his seat. “Don’t act like you don’t have any dirty laundry of your own.”
Stan only shifted slightly in his seat, barely skipping a beat before saying, “Not as much as you guys, that’s for sure.”
Surprisingly, the Gems didn’t argue with that. Mostly because they were too distracted with what stood tall before them as the van broke through the trees to make it to the top of the cliff. The water tower was even more spectacular and more terrifying up close, glistening in the moonlight as it rose high into the heavens. It still pierced far past the dark clouds surrounding it, to the point that even this close, no one could clearly see where it ended. And, given just how daunting the tower on its own was, most of them weren’t so sure they wanted to.
“That’s some… magical destiny stuff right there…” Connie balked, awestruck.
“Guys, I just had the best idea for an album cover,” Greg said, peering at the tower in amazement through the van’s window.
“This is it,” Garnet leapt down from the roof. Pearl and Amethyst soon joined her, more than ready for whatever confrontation may lie ahead. “Lapis Lazuli is here.”
“Sheesh, she sure is into dramatic overkill, isn’t she?” Stan said. Even so, he shot the twins a worried look as they unmounted Lion alongside Steven and Connie. He’d had hints of this type of concern only a handful of times this summer alone, but now, it was unshakable, undeniable. Dipper and Mabel had gotten themselves into some kind of untold trouble with Gem stuff, even after he’d told them not to. Which was exactly why he was here to make sure they didn’t get themselves any deeper into that trouble than they clearly already were.
“I still don’t understand,” Pearl shook her head, confused. “What does she want with the waterfall?”
“Whoa… look at all this!” Connie stepped closer to the tower. “It’s like a giant aquarium!” And indeed it was. Countless fish, both big and small, swam freely in the water of the tower, oblivious of the new shape it had taken on.
“Yo, dudes, look! Isn’t that the Gobblewonker?” Soos pointed out the largest creature among them. One that certainly couldn’t have been the robot Opal had defeated days ago. “Huh. I guess Old Man McGucket wasn’t so crazy after all.”
“Either that or he built another giant robot,” Amethyst deadpanned.
“So how are we supposed to get Lapis to-” Dipper began. He was abruptly cut off, however, by none other than the Gem in question herself.
“You shouldn’t be here!” Lapis’ voice thundered from her spot high atop the tower. The fury in it was just as clear as it had been back on the creekbank last night.
Acting on a sudden burst of bravery, Steven rushed forward towards the tower. “Lapis Lazuli!” he called as loudly as he could. “It’s us! Steven, Mabel, and Dipper!”
“Yeah!” Mabel added, joining him. “We’re here to talk to you! And you know, getting the waterfall would be super nice too.”
Suddenly, the water at the base of the tower began to ripple. To everyone’s surprise, it remolded itself into the visage of Lapis herself, glaring down at the kids. “Go away!” she harshly ordered. “Before I make you!”
“But I thought we were summer fun buddies!” Steven exclaimed worriedly.
The water shifted once more, this time reverting to the same image the mirror had latched onto, of the kids screaming in unified panic. “Nooooo!”
“But we set you free from the mirror!” Dipper protested. “You said so yourself–we helped you! Doesn’t that mean anything in all this?”
“No, it doesn’t!” Lapis hissed as her face appeared in the water again. “It doesn’t change the fact that I was trapped in there for thousands of years, only to be used as a tool by everyone! Humans… Crystal Gems… You’re all the same! You only care about this place and nothing else!”
Pearl and Amethyst found themselves agitated upon hearing this, especially since they had a good idea about what Lapis was alluding to. Still, Garnet was the one to restrain them as they prepared to leap to the kids’ defense. “Easy,” she advised. “Let them handle this.”
“What do you mean?” Steven asked. “We’re all Gems, right? We just want to help you!”
“You don’t understand!” Lapis accused. A wave of sorrow washed over her expression as her face retreated back into the tower. “Just leave me alone…”
“Wait!” the kids called as they all ran towards the tower. They couldn’t let Lapis slip away that easily; they couldn’t leave without getting what they’d come all this way for, without restoring the falls, the lake, the very town itself. But for as much as they were determined to fix this, Lapis was determined to stop them. And as Steven, Dipper, and Mabel began pushing against the tower, that’s when she finally decided to lash out.
Out of nowhere, three hands suddenly shot out from the wall of water. They grabbed the kids by the collars, holding on tight as clearer shapes began to emerge around them. Three watery figures that looked exactly like Steven, Dipper, and Mabel. “I said…” Lapis began, her voice shaking with rage through her aquatic clones. “Leave me ALONE!”
Before either Steven or the twins could try to free themselves from the iron grip of their watery doppelgangers, they were brutally pushed away. Each of the clones shoved the kids back with heavy streams of water, hardly caring about where or how they might land. By luck alone, the Gems managed to safely catch them and set them back down on solid ground.
Lapis, however, was only just getting started. Because soon enough, three more watery clones stepped out from the tower, this time taking on the forms of the Crystal Gems. Each and every one of the clones set their glowing eyes on the group gathered before them in a chilling glare, giving away their clearly violent intent.
“Everyone! Stay behind us!” Pearl commanded. “We’ll handle this.”
“Sounds good to me!” Greg fearfully feld to take refuge behind a nearby rock.
“Yeah, you don’t have to tell me twice,” Stan agreed as he and Soos did the same. Likewise, the kids gathered a safe distance behind the Gems, not hiding, but not running forward into the fray either. As much as they wanted to help the Gems, they could already tell this was a fight that was one they should wisely sit out. The first few seconds of it alone were enough to prove that.
For as soon as the Gems called upon their weapons, their watery clones did the same, all but mirroring their every move. A troubling sign that this battle was going to be much more difficult than they thought. “Uh oh…” Amethyst muttered, her fist clenching tighter around her whip’s handle.
“Stay together,” Garnet firmly ordered. “Don’t let them separate us-”
Garnet barely finished speaking before her aquatic double rushed in and decked her hard in the jaw. The force of the blow threw her back into the woods, sending several trees toppling over in her wake. Still, Garnet forced herself to rise, especially when her clone came at her again. The two Garnets leapt at each other, their gauntlets brutally colliding over and over in a rapid barrage. It took ages for Garnet to finally find the opening she needed to slam her first straight through her double’s watery face. Only for the liquid to just as swiftly reform around her hand to push her back and kick her away into the nearest rock.
For her part, Amethyst wasn’t faring much better. Her whip latched around anything she could find: loose boulders, overturned trees, whatever it took to land even a single hit on her own clone. Unfortunately, her double was slippery, bending and twisting its shape out of the path of everything she threw at it. The more she launched at it, the more it became clear to Amethyst that she wouldn’t be able to keep this up forever. She’d run out of ammo eventually, and when she finally did, that’s when her tricky duplicate decided to strike.
Its whip coiled around her ankle before it sent her flying far back into the forest, far past Pearl as she struggled against her own counterpart. She guarded against her clone’s fast-flying spear as best she could, finally managing to land a hit against it by slicing it clear down the middle. Unfortunately, the two melting halves quickly reshaped into not just one watery Pearl, but two . “Ugh…” Pearl grumbled as she summoned another spear from her Gem to counteract the pair now poised against her. “I hate fighting me!”
Fortunately, the Gems weren’t alone in this battle. While the others were all hiding back behind the sidelines, Lion stood his ground to protect them by facing off against the clones of Steven and the twins. Unlike the Gems’ doubles, they bore no weapons, but even so, they dodged Lion’s barrage of sonic roars with ease.
“Come on, Lion!” Connie encouraged.
“You can take us!” Steven added, pumping his fist.
“You’re a war machine, Lion!” Mabel cheered. “An adorable war machine!”
For as much as the kids believed in him, in the end, even Lion’s formidable strength wasn’t enough. The trio of clones soon overwhelmed him, all three of them lashing out with a heavy blast of water to throw the pink beast back. He slammed into the side of Greg’s van, leaving a heavy dent as he fell back to the ground in a daze.
“Oh no, not the van!” Greg cried as he rushed over to his damaged vehicle/home.
“Revenge!” Steven brazenly rallied. He held up the water gun he’d brought along, and Dipper, Mabel, and Connie all supplied their own in turn. And even though the Gems had told them not to, they all began bravely, bolding running straight into the ongoing brawl.
Or at least, they tried to until Stan stepped in to stop them.
“Hold it!” he exclaimed, hands on his hips. “Look, I’m all about revenge as much as the next guy, but you four are way in over your heads with this one. So you kids just hang back and let me deal with those things instead, got it?”
“But what are you going to do?” Dipper asked, confused.
“Let’s just say I didn’t bring these babies along for nothing,” Stan smirked as he pulled out a pair of brass knuckles. “Soos! Watch the kids! This could get ugly.”
“You got it, Mr. Pines!” Soos dutifully saluted as he rounded up the kids. “Come on, dudes. Those water guys could mess you all up big time!” Despite their protests, there was ultimately little the kids could do but follow Soos’s lead as he took them a safe distance away from the fight. As soon as he was sure they were out of the line of fire, Stan stepped up, brass knuckles equipped and ready for a punch as he challenged the remaining water clones.
“Hey, you wet punks!” he called, glaring the kids’ doubles down fiercely. He forced himself not to think about who they resembled, much less how out of practice he was. The last real scrap he’d been in… he couldn’t even remember when or what it was, really. If he was lucky, muscle memory would kick in from all of the years he’d spent fighting his way in and out of trouble. “You’re itchin’ for a fight? Well come and get one!”
The twins’ doubles charged forward first. Stan met them evenly, throwing out low blows that the clones easily dodged out of the way of. Instead, they swerved around him, regrouping just behind his back before launching a sharp stream of water his way. Stan only barely managed to face them and duck out from under their attack, even if he still got drenched from it in the process.
“Ugh…” he winced as he wrung the water out of his suit jacket. “You know, it’s kinda weird fighting you two since you look so much like-”
He was cut off, this time by Steven’s clone as it suddenly ambushed him from behind. Stan saw it coming just in time, veering away before landing a heavy kick to keep one clone at bay. Unfortunately, the other two saw just the opening they needed to land a decisive blow. While Stan was distracted with Steven’s double, the twins’ duplicates teamed up to brutally blast him in the back. This time, Stan wasn’t quick enough to ward them off, and before he knew it, he was slammed straight to the ground by their aquatic onslaught.
“Grunkle Stan!” Dipper and Mabel cried from their spot on the sidelines. Even so, Stan wasn’t one to stay down for too long. Or at least he hadn’t been when he was much younger.
He hissed through clenched teeth as he felt the emerging ache ripple across his back, but even so, he somehow managed to pull himself onto all fours. “Gah… I’m gonna be feeling that in the morning…” he cringed against the searing pain. He had no choice but to ignore it, though, when he noticed the water clones slowly starting to approach him again to finish the job. “Oh what? You three want some more?” he goaded fiercely. “Well, bring it on!” As ready as Stan was to get back into the fight, his back had other ideas. A sharp crack sounded as he tried to stand, sending him falling right back to the ground as he only narrowly bit back a swear.. “Ffffudge! Ah, just… just give me a minute, and I’ll… W-when I get up, it’ll be all over for—ow! Geez! Seriously, ow !”
Despite his clear struggle, the water clones had no intention of giving Stan a chance to recover, much less fight back. They crowded around him, arms raised to unleash even more water upon him when he was at his most compromised. And they would have done exactly that too if not for several much smaller streams of water striking them from behind.
“Hey!” Steven shouted as he fired his water gun. “It’s us you want, not him!”
“Yeah!” Mabel bravely brandished her own water gun as Dipper and Connie did the same. “Give us your best shot, um, us!”
This was all the clones needed to swiftly switch their sights away from Stan and onto the kids instead. “Wait!” he raised a shaking arm to try and stop them. Of course, the kids hardly listened as they began haphazardly firing their “weapons” as the water clones hurried for them. “Soos! I thought I told you to watch them!”
“I was!” Soos peered out from the rock he was hiding behind. Oddly enough, he was dripping wet. “But alas, I was no match for their determination and Steven’s water gun.”
“Sorry again, Soos!” Steven called back to him.
“Uh, so how exactly are we supposed to fight these guys?” Dipper asked, warily watching as the water clones got ever closer.. “The Gems can’t stop them, much less Stan, so what can we do against them?”
“...This, I guess,” Connie shrugged as she grabbed a few rocks off the ground. She made the first move against the clones, tossing those rocks at them as hard as she possibly could. Steven quickly joined in with his water gun, which surprisingly halted his own double’s approach, at least for a moment. The twins’ doppelgangers, however, weren’t so easily deterred.
Acting on impulse, Mabel let out a wild battle cry as she ran to meet her clone head on. She kept her finger on her water gun’s trigger all the while, not noticing or caring when it didn’t do much at all to stop her clone. Still, her double didn’t make much of a move to retaliate, leading Mabel to think she was somehow gaining the upper hand already. At least until her water gun ran empty.
“Oops,” she pulled the trigger, only for a tiny spritz to splash out. She let out a forced chuckle as she looked back at her aquatic counterpart. “Uh… this is super awkward, but… I don’t suppose you could lend me some water to fill up here? I mean, you’re literally made of it, so I’m sure you could spare a little-”
Her clone was quick to silence her by lashing a whip of water out to knock her water gun away. Mabel yelped, clutching her now stinging hand as she frowned at her clone. “Ok, ok! I get it; you’re not big on sharing. Sorry I asked…”
While Mabel continued cautiously backing away from her double, Dipper had no choice but to confront his. He gripped his own water gun tightly, keeping his aim set on his clone as it continued gliding toward him. “O-okay… There’s nothing unsettling or insane about this,” he told himself in an effort to calm his frayed nerves down. “I’m just about to fight a water-clone of myself made by a Gem who probably doesn’t want to kill us all… right?” For a moment, he peered past his double, to the upturned waterfall behind it. To where Lapis was controlling all of this chaos from the safety of her stolen tower, seemingly not caring at all about who she might hurt, who he already had hurt in the process.
And in light of that, in light of everything… Dipper couldn’t help but wonder if they’d made the right choice in setting her free from that mirror after all.
As distracted as he was by such distressing thoughts, he didn’t even notice his water clone until it barreled into him and pinned him firmly to the ground. With his water gun thrown out of his hand, he had no time to even react before the clone unleashed a heavy torrent of water directly onto his face. Dipper tried raising a hand to stop it, but his double quickly forced it back down, ensuring he received the full brunt of the endless deluge. As a result, it wasn’t long before he ended up not just waterlogged, but struggling to get even the smallest gasps of air against the violent downpour. And yet, just as he was getting lightheaded, just as the corners of his vision were starting to grow dark, just when he thought there was no way out of this, it all came to a sudden, miraculous stop.
At first, Dipper didn’t even notice the clone had been abruptly knocked away from him until he took in a sharp, involuntary gasp. He choked on it, pain lancing through his chest and stomach as new air competed for space against the water still filling his lungs. He tried curling in on himself to ease that pain, until a gentle hand hoisted him up and rolled him over to let him begin coughing some of that water up.
“Come on, kid. Just let it out,” Stan’s usually gruff voice was surprisingly soft as he patted his ailing nephew on the back. “But at the same time, you might wanna hurry it up. Those guys don’t stay down for very long.”
After what felt like a lifetime of expelling unwanted water from his chest, Dipper let out a quiet groan as he tried focusing his still-blurry vision on his uncle. “G-Grunkle Stan… w-what-” he tried, only to end up cutting himself off with another bout of painful coughing.
“Shh. Just take it easy and let that big brain of yours rest for a while, ok?” Stan frowned and the worry in it was undoubtedly sincere. He made sure to be as careful as possible as he scooped Dipper up into his arms, only to freeze the second he heard a scream from Mabel pierce the air seconds later. “Oh, come on! Her too?!” he loudly complained. “Just how danger-prone are you kids?”
Sure enough, Mabel was in plenty of danger of her own. Despite her best efforts to outmaneuver her clone, it wasn’t long before she found herself knocked to the ground, unable to move thanks to the water tightly binding her ankles and arms. All she could do was watch, panicked, as her double raised up a massive swath of solid water high above her head, more than ready to bring it down upon her and crush her in an instant. Unable to escape, Mabel screamed again, this time in fear as she braced herself for the agonizing impact, an impact which fortunately never came.
Instead, Stan rushed over, Dipper still in tow, and swept her up with his free arm just before her clone could slam its deadly strike down. He didn’t bother looking back as he held on tight to both of the twins, running for cover as fast as he possibly could.
“Grunkle Stan, what are you doing?!” Mabel asked, alarmed by her sudden rescue. “I thought you hurt your back!”
“Hey, my bad back’s never stopped me before,” Stan retorted. Still, he was right before; his aching back would definitely feel all of this the next morning. If they all survived that long, anyway. “Besides, I’m not about to let you two get beaten up by yourselves. That would just be embarrassing for all of us.”
Mabel might have laughed at that, if not for the startling sight of her barely-conscious brother propped against Stan’s other arm. “Dipper!” she gasped, shocked at how pale and dazed he looked. “What happened to you?! Are you ok?!”
Dipper didn’t have much energy to offer her more than a weak smile and a small nod. “Y-yeah…” he croaked despite his sore throat. “I… I’m good.”
“If by ‘good’ you mean you almost drowned, then yeah, kid, you’re doing great,” Stan deadpanned. “That’s exactly why the three of us are booking it from this fight. The Gems have got it covered.”
“But what about Steven and Connie?” Mabel asked, worried. She managed to spot the pair, still tag-teaming it against Steven’s watery double. After a while, it seemingly grew tired of their barrage of rocks and useless water gun attacks and lashed out with an assault of its own. Before they knew it, both Steven and Connie found themselves hoisted into the air as orbs of water converged completely around their heads, cutting off any and all air. Fortunately, they had the wits about them to hold their breath, but that wouldn’t save them for long once their lungs began to burn.
Connie was the first to waver, desperately choking for air she couldn’t get as her struggling began to wane. Steven glanced over at her, alarmed as he watched her eyes grow heavy and her mouth hang open, letting water pour in freely. There was painfully little he could do to help her though, not when he was on the verge of drowning himself. At least until Greg’s van sped straight into all three of the kids’ watery clones, taking them all out in one fell swoop.
Steven and Connie fell to the ground, gasping for air. It took them a moment to regather their bearings, and they were largely still reeling when Soos stuck his head out of the passenger window to check on them.
“Yo, are you dudes ok?!” he asked, aptly concerned.
“W-we’re fine,” Steven shakily replied. “Right, Connie?”
While still breathless, Connie supplied a tiny, affirming nod all the same. Still, Greg was hardly relieved. “Is this a normal magical mission for you?!” he asked his son. “Because I’m not so sure how comfortable I am with you going on theses any-”
His question soon turned into a scream as the van suddenly shot high into the air. The water clones reappeared from where it had sat, and had sent it skyward, allowing it to catapult back towards the woods. Greg and Soos could only scream in terror until the van finally crashed back down to earth–hood first–into the trees.
“Dad!” Steven cried, already rushing over to the van.
“Soos!” the twins exclaimed, just as concerned. Still though, Stan insisted on carrying them both as he ran over to check on the wreckage. To everyone’s relief, Greg and Soos began to crawl out from it, seemingly, surprisingly unscathed.
“Are you guys ok?!” Connie asked.
“Ugh, a few bumps and bruises, but I think I’ll be ok,” Greg groaned as he flopped onto the ground. “But my poor van won’t be…”
Begrudgingly, Stan finally put Dipper and Mabel down so he could help Soos get out of the van on the other side. “You gonna be ok, Soos?” he asked with masked concern. “‘Cause I’m not paying you for any time off you might need after this.”
“Nah, I’m good, Mr. Pines,” Soos reassured, carefully rising to stand. “But that was totally crazy . I like, saw my whole life flash before my eyes and junk! Really makes me wish I’d taken those tap-dancing lessons when I had the chance…”
Even as everyone was trying to recover, it was clear the water clones weren’t quite finished yet. Steven glanced back to find all three of them still standing there, still ready to attack. He took pause at this, slowly turning his attention back towards his friends and family. While Greg and Soos checked themselves over for any unseen injuries, Connie had turned to continue coughing up the last bit of water still left in her lungs. Stan yelped as he stretched his injured back out the best he could, while Mabel helped Dipper steady himself back on his feet, despite the plentiful cuts and bruises she’d sustained herself in the brawl.
The longer Steven watched them, the more something started to settle in his gut. It wasn’t a feeling he was all too familiar with, one he didn’t like sitting in whenever it did come. But now, he let himself seethe with that anger, raw and real and rippling. It was one thing for Lapis to sick her watery puppets on the Gems; at least they were strong enough to defend themselves against them, even if they were still struggling to stay standing. But to attack powerless humans so viciously, so carelessly? To hurt an entire town by selfishly stealing their waterfall away? It was more than Steven could bear.
True, Lapis had been hurt and trapped and voiceless for so very long. He understood that, sympathized with that. But the simple fact was her anger, her bitterness, her pain was hurting others. If left unchecked, it could very well stand to do far more than that.
Which was why Steven refused to let this onslaught, this madness go on any longer than it already had.
“Lapis!” he shouted as he turned his attention back toward the tower. “We don’t want to fight anymore!”
If Lapis heard him, she didn’t show it. Instead, the kids’ clones poised themselves for another attack at the group of humans before them. Steven, however, wasn’t going to allow that strike to hit a single one of them as he stepped forward. “I said…” he held his arm out in front of him, hardly paying the bright glow blooming around his gem any mind. All that mattered now was protecting the people he cared about; that was all that ever mattered in the first place. “I don’t want to fight!”
In a brilliant flash of pink light, Steven’s shield solidified over his arm. A certain sort of energy pulsed from its surface, disintegrating the kids’ water copies on contact. They weren’t the only ones either; the Gems watched, shocked, as their own clones splashed out of existence. It couldn’t have come a moment too soon either, as each of them were nearly on the verge of defeat. Still, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were all stunned to look back and find Steven bravely brandishing his weapon until every last one of the clones had been taken care of. Until the battle was, at long last, over .
Steven silently let his shield vanish, but his expression remained solemn and stern as he slowly approached the tower. He all but missed Connie say his name as he passed her by, but what he couldn’t ignore were the twins when they rushed forward to stop him before he could go too far.
“Steven, wait,” Dipper caught up with him just shy of the tower’s base. “We’re going with you.”
“Yeah! There’s no way you’re going all the way up there to talk to Lapis without us!” Mabel added, firmly putting her foot down for good measure.
As much as Steven wanted to appreciate their support, he simply shook his head. “I can’t let you guys do that. Both of you almost got hurt really badly. There’s no telling what could happen up there…”
“But we’re fine , Steven,” Mabel assured with a small smile. “I mean, sure we nearly drowned or got crushed or whatever, but we made it out ok!”
“The point is, the three of us let Lapis out of the mirror together,” Dipper said, completely unshaken. “Which means we’re still in this together, no matter what. So we’re going with you, whether you like it or not.”
“B-but…” Steven began to protest. He had every reason to, as well. To protect his friends, to safeguard two humans from a dangerous Gem, to shoulder the burden the way his mother would have most likely done before him. But at the end of the day, the twins were right ; they’d created this mess together. Which meant they ought to fix it together too. “Ok…” he finally sighed. “Then I guess… I guess we’re doing this, huh?”
“You bet we are!” Mabel exclaimed. “Let’s get this waterfall back to normal!”
Steven and Dipper shared a solid nod as they all turned to face the tower again. “Lapis! We’re coming up to see you!” Steven called, craning his neck up towards its unseen peak. “So please don’t drown us.”
Connie gasped when she finally realized what her friends were about to do. What they were about to do without her . “Guys, wait!” she cried, rushing forward. And she was far from the only one.
“Kids!” Stan yelled, running for the tower. Because there Dipper and Mabel were, throwing themselves right back into danger so soon after nearly meeting their ends. He might have almost been proud of them… if he wasn’t so afraid of losing them all over again.
And yet, none of this so much as stopped Steven, Dipper, and Mabel in the slightest. Instead, they took each other's hands first before taking the plunge straight into the tower. Each of them tightly held their breath, even as a hand of solid water suddenly formed underneath them, pushing them upward. At least Lapis was willing to show them a little mercy by not forcing them to swim all the way up to the top.
They were quickly carried up through the length of the tower, spanning miles into the air until it finally cut through the clouds. Above those clouds was a calm, brilliantly starry night sky, dark enough to let the water tower shine even brighter against it. With only the lake water to supply it, the tower couldn’t quite breach the atmosphere. Even so, the ground was still nowhere to be seen when the kids finally reached its lofty pinnacle.
Even when their journey to the top reached its end, the kids still found themselves immoble thanks to the water still enveloping everything but their heads. Fortunately, they were able to breathe, not that it really meant much when the air was so thin and cold. Hopefully though, they wouldn’t have to be up here for very long. For, standing just a few feet away from them, atop the surface of her watery tower, was none other than Lapis Lazuli herself.
Her mirror-like eyes reflected only disdain for her former friends as she used her powers to hold them in thrall. When she spoke, her voice was low and icy and every bit as threatening as it had been when she confronted the Gems the previous night. “What are you three doing here?”
“What?” Mabel asked, confused at the harsh reception.
“I think the better question is what are you doing here, Lapis?” Dipper shot back. “You stole the lake and the waterfall, and you nearly killed us all! What’s up with that?”
Lapis glanced away. The slight hint of remorse that passed over her face wasn’t lost on any of the kids as she hugged herself loosely. “I already told you; you don’t understand…”
“Then help us understand!” Steven protested. “Why can’t we work this out? Gems should be friends. We-”
Without warning, Lapis suddenly pulled the water bubble all three of them were trapped in closer to her. “Don’t you know anything?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at them. “Your friends, the Crystal Gems, they don’t really care about other Gems! All they care about is the Earth. But I never believed in this place…”
She sighed as she turned her gaze toward the stars. Or rather, toward one specific star, beaming bright in its place somewhere far off in space. Her shoulders fell as she walked away from the kids, letting the bubble containing them finally burst. They fell onto the solid surface of the tower in a messy heap before picking themselves up and moving over to follow Lapis. They joined her as she sat at the center of her tower, silently, sadly staring up at the night sky so far above.
“So… is that why you stole the waterfall?” Steven asked after a while. “So you could go to… space?”
“Yes…” Lapis hung her head and closed her eyes. “All I want, all I’ve ever wanted… is to go home…”
“Wait… home…” Dipper repeated, his eyes widening as he remembered something. “Do you mean… Homeworld?”
“Yes…?” Lapis confirmed, raising an eyebrow. “That is where Gems come from, isn’t it?”
“What? I’ve never heard of Homeworld before!” Steven exclaimed, bewildered. “Dipper, how’d you know about it?”
“I saw it mentioned in the journal the other day, but I didn’t know what it meant until now,” Dipper said, utterly floored by such an incredible discovery. By yet another realization that had been staring him in the face all summer long, now finally, suddenly made perfectly clear. “This is crazy! If Gems really are from space then that means that they’re… they’re basically aliens !”
“What’s an alien?” Lapis asked, confused.
“Aliens are like these little green guys with big heads and huge eyes,” Mabel explained. “Well, at least the aliens on TV are. But I don’t think any of you guys look anything like that.”
“Mabel!” Dipper scolded, annoyed, before he clarified for Lapis. “An alien is anyone who doesn’t come from Earth. And while Gems being aliens would explain so much about them, it also raises so many new questions! Like how they ended up on Earth in the first place, or why they’ve stayed here for so long! Oh man, I wish I had the journal with me so I could-”
He swiftly stopped himself the second he happened to catch another glimpse of Lapis. By now, she’d turned her attention back up to the stars, her hands resting in her lap as her empty eyes seemed to shine with lasting longing. As Dipper stared at her, the less his own selfish desire for answers seemed to matter when weighed against Lapis’ desire for something so simple, so essential, so important as her own home. A home she’d spent untold years trapped so far away from, unable to return, unable to break free, unable to do anything but wait and want and wish, until…
Until now.
“...Lapis?” he decided to ask, even though he knew he shouldn’t. But he still wanted to know, wanted to understand why she’d do all this, why she’d go so far. Why she was somehow so angry and so sad, all at the same time. “Just how long have you been stuck here on Earth for?”
“...Too long,” Lapis muttered. If the kids didn’t know any better, her reflective eyes seemed to shine with what almost looked like tears. “ Way too long…”
“Lapis, we… we all know how important home can be.” Steven spoke up, solemn, yet resolved. “But that’s why we’re here. You took the waterfall, which is an important part of our home.”
“I’m only using this waterfall because my Gem is cracked,” Lapis said. “All I need to do is draw from this planet’s streams and rivers and eventually, the ocean. If I can just get enough water and stretch it far enough…” She trailed off as she took another look at that distant star, at Homeworld. A flash of grief filled in her features as she shook her head in emerging defeat over her impossible dream. “Oh, who am I kidding? This is never going to work…”
Silence filled the chilly air again after this. The kids were at a loss, really, about what to say, what to do, even what to think. Because suddenly, it all made sense; why Lapis had put up such a fight, why she was so desperate not to let anyone stop her or restrain her or cage her ever again. She wasn’t a monster, she wasn’t a foe, she wasn’t even really dangerous. No, instead, Lapis was just lost . She’d spent so long as a prisoner inside of that mirror, so long away from the comforting familiarity of her home. Was it any wonder why she was so determined to find a way back? If any of them were in her shoes (or lack thereof), the kids weren’t so sure they wouldn’t have resorted to the same drastic measures she had to get back to where they belonged.
The only problem was… they had no idea how to make that happen for her. No matter how much they may have wanted to.
But then, Mabel gasped as a sudden idea struck her like a bolt of lightning. “Oh! Oh! I know!” she hopped to her feet, excited. “Steven, you could fix Lapis’ gem with your healing powers! Just like you fixed Connie’s eyes!”
“Whoa, you’re right!” Steven smiled. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!”
“Wait, you have healing powers?” Lapis asked, incredulous. “Do they… work?”
“They work,” Dipper confirmed. “But how they work is sorta… weird.”
“Yeah…” Steven rubbed the back of his neck. “But I can give it a try if you want.”
“O-okay…” Lapis tentatively turned to face her back to him. “What should I do?”
“Um… Just hold still and…” Steven trailed off before giving his hand a generous lick. His healing spit sparkled in the starlight as he gently placed his palm against Lapis’ cracked gem. She shuddered against the odd sensation, but only for a moment. Because sure enough, Steven’s healing magic soon began to work its wonders.
The kids gathered close, watching in awe as Lapis’ gemstone was engulfed in a luminous, renewing glow. The practically ancient crack torn across it smoothed over, vanishing from sight as if it had never been there at all. And as soon as it did, two equal bursts of water flushed from her gem, taking on the shape of a pair of graceful, aquatic wings .
Overwhelmed with joy, Lapis smiled as she gave her water wings a small, experimental flap. That smile only brightened as she turned back to the kids, with eyes that were no longer empty, reflective voids. Tears were in them this time, but they were happy ones as she let her wings flow, open, wide and free behind her.
“Thank you, Steven!” she brightly exclaimed. “Thank you all . For letting me out of the mirror and… and for this.” She let out a small laugh, the first the kids had heard in her true voice as she looked back at her beautiful wings once more.
While Dipper and Mabel were still completely speechless, Steven somehow found his voice as he wiped the remaining spit off his hand. “N-no prob, Bob.”
Lapis’ smile faded off into slight confusion. “…It’s Lapis.”
“No, Lapis, that’s just an expression,” Dipper explained after a beat of awkward silence.
“Oh,” Lapis replied shortly, simply. Without much left to say, she turned toward the stars once more, but not before taking one final glance back at the kids behind her. “Well, okay. Bye.”
And that was it. With a single, mighty flap of her powerful wings, Lapis took off. In an instant, she was soaring, rocketing away from her tower and from the kids as they watched her leave in wide-eyed, silent wonder. For a moment, at least.
“Oh! Bye, Lapis!” Mabel called out as soon as her initial surprise wore off. “Hope you make it home safely! Don’t forget to write!”
As stunned as they still were, Steven and Dipper weren’t able to offer such a fond farewell as they watched Lapis grow ever smaller the further away she got. It was a bittersweet feeling, to watch their new friend leave so soon. And yet, there was still something so satisfying in knowing that they’d managed to help her, not just once, but twice. Even if it meant–
Even if it meant they might never see her again.
The thought only barely skimmed their thoughts before the water suddenly began to tremble under their feet. Without Lapis’ power to keep it together, the tower quickly started falling apart as gravity took hold of the water it was made of once more. The kids were barely able to get an alarmed shout out as the tower caved in on all sides. And, just as quickly, what was once solid ground gave out from under them entirely.
Far down on the ground below, the impact of the tower’s collapse could also be felt. “W-what’s happening?!” Stan shouted over the din of the rattling ground.
“The whole tower’s coming down!” Garnet exclaimed, staring up at its tumbling top.
“What about the kids?!” Greg asked in frightened concern.
Despite the others’ emerging panic, Connie and Lion exchanged a determined glance. There was no question about what they needed to do, and that if they were going to do it, they needed to move now . So that’s exactly what they did.
With the tower’s collapse, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel were sent into a literal freefall. In blind terror, the most they could do is cling onto each other and hope for a miracle as they hurtled fast toward the distant ground. Luckily, that miracle arrived in the form of a familiar pink feline.
Lion soared through the air out of seemingly nowhere, with Connie clinging tightly onto his back as she stretched a hand out to help her friends. “Guys! Grab on!” she shouted over the roar of the water falling all around them. The three of them reached out to meet her hand, narrowly missing it altogether until Steven grabbed hold of her first, quickly followed by the twins. Connie yanked them up as hard as she could, allowing the three of them to join her on Lion’s back.
Seconds later, a sparkling portal appeared near the base of the crumbling tower. The adults all breathed a sigh of relief when Lion and all four of the kids emerged from it, but even then, they weren’t quite in the clear yet. Behind them, the waterfall was still falling . And with the force it was coming down with, they all quickly realized one frightening thing–
It was going to take all of them down with it.
As dawn rose over Gravity Falls, Mayor Dewey let out another miserable sob. He’d been out all night, trying in vain to bring the lake back with his garden hose. As desperate as he was, he didn’t even notice as water slowly began flooding back into the shallows until a large wave swallowed him whole.
As the last of the tower fell, the waterfall surged over the cliff, pouring rapidly back into the empty basin below. Greg’s van was pushed over the edge right along with it, but as it fell, Steven’s powers once again came in to save the day. Before they could all be lost to the depths of the returning lake, he summoned a large, pink bubble to keep them all safe and oxygen-supplied. After that bubble came to rest upon the lakebed, Pearl carefully drove it out and back up to the shore. Only after they made it safely back to dry land, Steven finally let his bubble pop, allowing everyone a much-needed sigh of relief.
“That’s how you do it!” Amethyst gave him a playful punch on the arm.
“Nice one, kid,” Stan added, offering him a genuine thumbs up.
Steven returned their smiles, at least until the van suddenly dropped even further into the sand. With a loud crash, all four of its wheels gave way and its hood popped open, with smoke pouring from it thanks to the damage it had sustained earlier.
“Well,” Pearl let out an awkward laugh. She held the now-broken steering wheel as she spared a glance over at Greg. “What’s that thing you always say about the pork chop and the hot dog?”
Greg simply sat there in silent horror over what had become of his battered van. The others, however, were more than ready to celebrate in the aftermath of their narrow victory.
"Yes!" Stan cheered as he looked out over the restored lake. "The Mystery Shack is saved!" He was quick to correct himself, however, upon noticing the critical look Garnet was giving him. "Uh, I mean... Gravity Falls is saved, I guess. If you wanna look at it like that."
“Look!” Connie exclaimed as she pointed towards town. The other kids all turned to see a large crowd rushing to meet them, all of them cheering in delighted excitement at the sight of their beloved lake’s return. And they had every reason to celebrate too. The waterfall once again flowed normally from the floating cliff, pouring into the depths of the lake as it glistened in the light of the morning sun, just like it was supposed to. As sure a sign as any that their businesses, their families, and their town had all been saved.
Still, as the people of Gravity Falls lauded the kids as their heroes of the day, not everyone was so content. “So… Lapis made it off-planet,” Garnet said to Pearl. They kept their voices low to keep any of the others, especially the kids, from hearing their concerns.
“If she makes it back to Homeworld… what could that mean for us?” Pearl asked, worried.
Garnet simply looked to the sky. She didn’t dare bring up the ancient memories that even mentioning Homeworld stirred up for her and Pearl alike. “We wait and see,” she said calmly. Because at the end of the day, that was all they really could do. For now.
The elated townsfolk were more than happy to hoist the kids up on their shoulders and parade them around. And while they knew they should have basked in their moment of triumph, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel kept their sights on the bright sky above instead.
Somewhere up there, a Gem by the name of Lapis Lazuli, who had been trapped and spent such a long time dreaming of freedom… was finally on her way home. And while their hearts hung heavy with the weight of her departure, they found a strange sense of hope stirring in them all the same. None of them could really place it, but they all felt as though somehow, someway, they would meet her again, even if it seemed impossible.
After all, it wouldn’t be the first time the impossible had happened in Gravity Falls.
“Bye again, Lapis!” Mabel called, cheerfully waving up to the fading star that was Homeworld.
“See you around, Lapis,” Dipper offered up his own sincere farewell with a solemn tip of his hat.
“Yeah, see you, Lapis,” Steven warmly finished as he watched Homeworld–and any last trace of the Gem bound for it–finally fade from the fresh morning sky. “Wherever you are.”
Notes:
Next time, the kids set out to solve a history mystery.
Chapter 13: Irrational Treasure
Summary:
After uncovering a conspiracy about the alleged founder of Gravity Falls, the kids set out to unravel a historical mystery... and to prove the snobbish Pacifica Northwest wrong.
Notes:
Back at it with a chapter that, originally, wasn't supposed to be all that different from the old UF version of it until I had an ephiphany that I honestly think resulted in some pretty fun shakeups here. So get ready to celebrate Pioneer Day as we dive right in!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
IPS GVYKK BCWQBQ XLV WOUC'A VVWXFUY
JXMG VR XYH CJJMG BJ SEH SGATM ZCWKHRW
For as small of a town as Gravity Falls was, it usually didn’t take very long for Stan to head in, finish any errands he needed to get done, and head out. For today’s quick trip to the grocery store, he decided to bring Dipper and Mabel along with him. A decision he soon came to regret upon getting caught up in traffic for what seemed like the tenth time in a row.
Even so, the twins hardly minded the delay as they shared some nachos in the back seat. Mabel helped herself to two chips, fixing them to the studs on her ears to invent an entirely new type of jewelry altogether.
“Nacho earrings!” she proudly proclaimed, laughing. “I’m hilarious!”
“That’s debatable,” Stan sneered. His aggravation only spiked as he found himself forced to slam on his car’s breaks yet again. “Come on, what’s with all this traffic?! And why is it all… covered wagons?” He paled in sudden horror as he watched a horse-drawn wagon slowly pass by. “Oh no,” he panicked, throwing the car into reverse. “No! No! Not today!”
“Grunkle Stan, what’s going on?” Dipper asked, gripping his seat tightly against Stan’s frantic driving.
Stan didn’t answer. He was far too focused on trying to peel out of town as quickly as possible. “We gotta get out of here before it’s too late!” Unfortunately, his escape attempt was soon halted as another wagon rolled in to block the road right behind him. “They’ve circled the wagons! We’re trapped! Nooooo!”
Sure enough, the car was completely surrounded by the wagons and their riders, all clad in 19th century attire. As the twins peered out the window, it was as though they’d somehow entered another era entirely. And as perplexed as Dipper was by that, Mabel simply smiled over at the cow standing only a few inches away from her window. “I have a good feeling about today!”
Stan had no choice but to admit defeat and park the car, knowing they’d be getting nowhere fast in it. As the Pines began heading down Main Street on foot, they were able to get a first-hand look at its old-fashioned facelift. Most traces of modernity had been stripped away, replaced by what looked like an authentic frontier town. Still, despite the wooden stalls and makeshift teepees, there was an air of festivity in the air, with banners and flags flying high and crowds taking part in a variety of archaic activities from basket weaving to spoon whittling.
“Ugh, it’s Pioneer Day,” Stan explained, rolling his eyes. “Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded.”
“Welcome to 1863!” Toby Determined brightly exclaimed as he walked past the Pines.
“I will break you, little man!” Stan threatened, frightening Toby enough to chase him off.
“Grunkle Stan, what’s so bad about Pioneer Day anyway?” Dipper asked. “It seems harmless enough.”
“Yeah, and look at all the old-timey cool stuff you can do!” Mabel added, pointing out a handful of festival booths. “Candle dipping, gold panning, and-” She stopped short upon spotting a man who was being officially married to a woodpecker. “And… that, I guess.”
“Oh yeah. I remember reading about this,” Dipper said, recalling it from a passage in the journal. “Apparently it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers in Gravity Falls.”
“Oh it’s still legal,” the man said as he passed by with his new woodpecker bride. “ Very legal.”
“See what I mean? This holiday brings out the crazy in everyone in Gravity Falls,” Stan crossed his arms. “And that’s saying something considering how crazy everyone in this town is already.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we actually agree with you on this one, Stan.”
The Pines turned to find the Gems arriving. Steven and Connie followed not too far behind, both far more excited and intrigued than the Gems were by the surrounding festivities.
“Oh, come on, you guys!” Steven exclaimed. “Pioneer Day is great! It’s like we’ve stepped into some weird alternate dimension where people ride horses instead of cars and don’t bathe! You gotta admit that’s pretty cool.”
“Uh, Steven? It’s not so much that we stepped into an… alternate dimension then that we stepped back in time,” Connie corrected, smirking. “Not literally, of course, but still.”
“Whoa… Still cool!”
“Ugh, Pioneer Day isn’t cool, Steven, it’s lame ,” Amethyst groaned. “Can we go yet?”
“I’m already way ahead of you three on that one,” Stan scowled at a group of passing wannabe pioneers. “I’ve already stomached enough Pioneer Day for one lifetime. And if you two come back to the shack talking like these people,” he fixed the twins with a warning look. “You’re dead to me.”
To the twins, however, this was far more of an invitation than a warning. “There’s a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!” Dipper proclaimed first as he took on a faux western accent.
“Well, hornswabber my haversack!” Mabel exclaimed just as heartily.
“Oh! I wanna try!” Steven enthusiastically raised his hand. “Um… Ya’ll!”
Though the kids were able to enjoy a good laugh over this, Stan and the Gems didn’t come anywhere close to sharing it. For his part, Stan simply shook his first at the kids before angrily storming off, shouting, “Dead to me!”
“So…” Amethyst spoke up after a beat of silence. “Can we leave now?”
“Unfortunately, no,” Pearl sighed. “You know how Pioneer Day is. Since the people of Gravity Falls get so into celebrating it, they usually completely abandon modern common sense and safety practices. And even if they decide to disregard those things for an entire day, that doesn’t mean we should.”
“We need to stick around to ensure public safety,” Garnet summarized. “The last thing we want is a repeat of Pioneer Day 1968.”
“There were so many fish…” Pearl cringed at the unpleasant memory.
“Oh, so is that why you guys don’t like Pioneer Day?” Connie asked, curious.
“Oh, no. The real reason why we detest this pointless holiday is because it’s all one big sham,” Pearl crossed her arms.
“Sham?” Dipper wondered. “What do you-”
His question when unasked as the loud clang of a bell rang out from the nearby town square. An announcement filled the air along with it as a crowd began to congregate in that direction. “Come one and come all for the opening ceremonies!”
“Oh, this is always the best part!” Steven exclaimed, already running ahead. “Come on, you guys!”
As excited as Steven and Mabel both were, there was little Dipper or Connie could do to stop them from dragging them over to the square. The Gems, however, were far less impressed as they watched the wheels snap out from under a passing, poorly-built covered wagon. As telling of an omen as there ever was for how today was probably going to go.
“Can we leave now ?” Amethyst asked once again, annoyed.
“Amethyst…” Pearl groaned just as tiredly.
“Fine,” she pouted, crossing her arms in begrudging acceptance. “But I’m gonna keep asking until we actually can leave, so you might as well get used to it.”
Unsurprisingly, most of the town had shown up to take part in one of Gravity Falls’ most beloved pastimes. A large audience had gathered around the makeshift stage set up in the square, from which the mayor would give his annual Pioneer Day address. Mayor Dewey sat proudly alongside his son, Buck, who made no effort to mask just how bored he was by his father’s political posturing. On the other side of the stage sat the wealthy Northwest family, proudly heralding their status and prestige over the entire town. By the time the kids squeezed their way to the front row, Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland were just calling everyone to attention.
“Here-ye, here-ye! Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence!” Blubs called.
“Woo! I got a bell!” Durland cheered, happily ringing it.
“He sure loves his bell,” Blubs warmly smiled over at his partner.
“Alright, that’s enough, officers!” Dewey impatiently cut in as he took center stage. He flashed his constituents a flashy, anxious grin as he launched into his prepared speech. “Hello, my fellow pioneers! Welcome to the Gravity Falls of 1863! On this fine day, we celebrate the beginning of our beloved town and honor its fine founders: Nathaniel Northwest and my own great grandfather, William Dewey!”
At the command of a sign held up by one of the mayor’s aides, the townsfolk offered an obligatory round of applause before Dewey continued. “Of course, we all know the story of how Gravity Falls was founded way back in 1845, but for those of you who are unaware, allow me to briefly spin the heroic yarn. William Dewey and Nathaniel Northwest were a team of dashing, brave, intrepid pioneers, seeking to carve out their destinies in the wild frontier of the American northwest. Along their way, however, their wagon train was assaulted by a vicious, bloodthirsty monster! The other pioneers had all given up hope and prepared to turn back, but at the last second, William Dewey saved them all with his heroic, supernatural ability by turning into a fifty foot giant, carrying the wagons safely into this very valley we now stand in! The other pioneers were so impressed that they elected him as first mayor of Gravity Falls!”
Once again, the crowd applauded, though not everyone in it was so taken in by this outlandish tale. “What?” Dipper scoffed, incredulous. “That whole story seems pretty out there. And by out there, I mean impossible.”
“I guess it wouldn’t be too out of the question though…” Connie shrugged. “Gravity Falls can be a pretty strange place, but still…”
As the crowd continued to cheer for the heroic exploits of William Dewey, the current mayor happened to catch the aggravated glare that Preston Northwest was sending his way. “Dewey!” he snapped loudly enough so that only the mayor could hear him. “Remember what we agreed on!”
“Oh, right!” Dewey cleared his throat. Not wanting to risk any potential funding from the wealthy family, the mayor was quick to correct himself. “Aha! But I erroneously forgot to mention that our dear town here would have never been discovered if not for the quick wit and impressive navigating skills of Nathaniel Northwest! C-certainly, he is the true hero in this town’s founding!”
As the townsfolk clapped again, Dewey took a tentative glance back at the Northwests. He breathed a sigh of relief as he got a terse nod of approval from Preston. Not wanting to stumble any further, Dewey quickly ended his speech and moved on with the next part of the program. “A-and now, here’s our beloved town darling, Pacifica Northwest!”
Pacifica confidently strode forward, clad in an aptly trendy old-fashioned dress. She barely even spared Dewey a glance as she walked past him, her nose in the air as she grinned at the crowd below. “Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of Nathaniel Northwest. I’m also very rich.”
Somehow, that was enough to get the crowd cheering, and Pacifica readily soaked in the adulation before moving on. “Now if you’ve got the pioneer spirit, we ask you to come on up and introduce yourself!”
Mabel let out a delighted gasp and her wide grin mirrored Steven’s perfectly as they exchanged a glance. “Audience participation!”
“Finally, a chance for me to use this!” Steven pulled the ukulele strapped to his back forward.
“I don’t know, Mabel,” Dipper said, eyeing Pacifica warily. “Isn’t that girl kind of like your arch-enemy?”
“Yeah, don’t you remember how terrible she acted during the sidewalk art contest the other week?” Connie asked. She fixed the heiress on stage with a cross glare, still holding onto a good deal of resentment from their first encounter. Resentment that Mabel was much more willing to leave behind.
“Oh, that’s water under the bridge now,” Mabel waved her hand. “Come on, Steven!”
“Yeah!” Steven readily followed after her as she ran up onstage.
“Our first newcomer is-” Pacifica stopped short when she noticed who had joined her. Her broad smile swiftly fell into a hostile scowl as she bitterly growled, “Mabel…”
“And don’t forget about Steven!” he added with a wide smile.
“Let’s get this Pioneer Day started!” Mabel zealously exclaimed. “Right, everyone? USA! USA!”
“USA! USA!” the crowd gladly joined in on the patriotic cheer. Steven hoped to make their spirits even brighter as he began strumming a merry tune on his ukulele, before launching into a full, on-the-spot song.
“Ohhhh… Way, way back in 1845, Gravity Falls became alive!” Steven sang as the crowd clapped along to the beat. “So now we’re here to celebrate! Pioneer Day, isn’t it great?!”
Before Steven could go into his second verse, he was abruptly, harshly interrupted by Pacifica. “Uh, what do you think you’re doing?”
“Singing a song!” Steven grinned as he continued strumming.
“No, you’re not,” Pacifica deadpanned. “You’re making a total fool out of yourself. Sorry to break it to both of you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you two look and act ridiculous. I mean, a puppy playing basketball?” she scoffed, eying the design on Mabel’s sweater. “And who even plays the ukulele anyway?” she rolled her eyes at Steven. “Are you two always this silly?”
“But… ukuleles are really cool!” Steven protested, frowning. “And, i-it’s mine, and I like it!”
“Like I said,” Pacifica made a show of haughtily flipping her hair. “Silly.”
“Hey, we can both be serious!” Mabel puffed her chest out to make her look more mature. “Right, Steven?”
“Right!” Steven threw his ukulele over his shoulder as he took up a similar stance.
“You do have nachos hanging from your ear, hon,” Pacifica pointed out. Mabel was unable to stifle the hot blush that filled her face as she gently skimmed her nacho earrings in newfound regret.
“And as randomly singing songs in public,” Pacifica said to Steven, still sore over how he had almost upstaged her. “Just so you know, it’s not charming; it’s childish .” Steven winced as he looked back at his ukulele, suddenly wishing he hadn’t brought it along after all.
As the pair hung their heads in shame, Pacifica simply smirked, satisfied that she’d gotten the upper hand over them both. “Wow, I’m embarrassed for you guys,” she let out a small, patronizing laugh, one that the crowd soon began to join in on. “Give them a hand, everybody!”
The audience did as she said, save for Dipper and Connie. Instead, the pair exchanged an angry nod, knowing that they couldn’t let Pacifica get away with humiliating Steven and Mabel so easily. “Hey!” Connie snapped at her as the pair sadly sulked off stage. “You can’t talk to them like that!”
“Why not?” Pacifica shrugged, unsympathetic. “I’m just being honest. Heck, if anything I’m doing them a favor by giving them the reality check they so desperately need. That’s what makes me so nice . Isn’t that right, folks!?”
Though the town unanimously agreed with her, Dipper took the opportunity to lead Steven and Mabel away from the limelight to spare them any further embarrassment. Connie soon followed, though not before sparing one final, disgusted glare Pacifica’s way as she posed for a commemorative photo alongside her family.
“Everyone say Northwest!” she called, sharing a smug laugh with her equally elitist parents after the photo was snapped. “We’re perfect.”
As distracted as the crowd was, nobody noticed when the kids slipped away from it. Steven and Mabel were uncharacteristically solemn and silent, making it clear that Pacifica’s cruel remarks had cut them both deep. And as frustrated as both Connie and Dipper were by that, they knew the pair needed their support now more than they needed either of them to stand up for them.
“Hey, are you ok?” Dipper placed a consoling hand on his sister’s shoulder.
Mabel sighed as she took a glance back at the stage. “I need some old-timey butterscotch.”
“Same here…” Steven glumly agreed.
“Then we’ll get you both some,” Connie offered them a reassuring smile. It was all she could do to keep herself from marching back over to the stage to find some way to put Pacifica and her pompous attitude in her place. “Come on, let’s go.”
If there was one thing Stan couldn’t stand, it was getting caught up in the inane, annoying nightmare that was Pioneer Day. Unfortunately, escaping its clutches was far easier said than done. The streets going in and out of town were all closed for the occasion, forcing Stan to take a rarely used dirt road to get back to the shack. A plan that quickly fell through when his wheels got caught in a puddle of mud.
Though he tried to drive out himself, his car had all but stalled, stuck in place. Fortunately, it seemed as though his luck was about to turn as he spotted his usual mechanic passing by, dressed for Pioneer Day with a donkey by his side.
“Hey there, uh, donkey boy!” Stan called him over. “Give me a hand with my car, huh?”
“Here in 1863, I have never heard of a ‘car’,” the man said, playing up the Pioneer Day act. “Pray-tell, what is this magic wheel box?”
“Aw, c’mon, Jim, you’re a mechanic for Pete’s sake!” Stan exclaimed, exasperated. “Cut me some slack!”
“‘Slack’? I am unfamiliar with this bold, new expression…”
“I can’t take this anymore!” Stan wailed. “I’m getting dumber every second I’m here!”
A sudden whistle cut through the air as Blubs and Durland ran up, ready to stop any possible altercation. “Are we gonna have to intervene here?” the sheriff asked, suspicious.
“Oh look. The ‘constable’,” Stan mocked the pair. “What are you gonna do? Put me in ‘ye stocks’?”
As it turned out, that’s exactly what they did. Stan was shocked to find himself abruptly arrested, landing him in the stockade set up near the town square for the rest of the day. It was going to make for a frustratingly boring and downright embarrassing punishment, to say the least. Of course, just when things didn’t seem as though they could get anymore humiliating, that’s when they did.
“Well, well…” Pearl smirked as approached the stocks alongside Amethyst and Garnet. “Looks like someone finally had the common sense to put you right where you belong, Stan. You know, back in the real pioneer days, they used to lock the town’s most sleazy crooks in these very stocks. So I guess this is actually quite fitting.”
“Can it, Pearl,” Stan shot back. “I think I’ve been through enough torture today. I don’t need any more from having to listen to you run your yap.”
Despite Pearl’s offended gasp, Amethyst snorted out a much-needed laugh. “Good one, Stan! But seriously, being locked up in that dumb thing looks like it’s even more boring than just being at Pioneer Day alone.”
“And that’s saying something,” Garnet deadpanned, her hands on her hips.
“Tell me about it,” Stan grumbled. “Hey, here’s an idea. How about you three do me a favor and bust me outta this thing, huh?”
“And why in the world would we ever do that?” Pearl asked. “Chances are you probably got yourself into this mess by doing something illegal, so it’s only fair that you face the consequences.”
“So I insulted the cops. Who cares? That’s what they get for bein’ cops,” Stan scowled. “C’mon, just hook me up! If you help me out, I’ll… uh… I’ll stop complaining about you guys for a week. What do you say?”
Pearl and Garnet simply exchanged a flat glance, not even bothering with a response as they began to walk away. “O-okay! How’s this? I’ll extend it to a whole month!” Stan shouted after them. “And if I slip up and say something bad about you guys, then you can borrow Dipper and Mabel for a while! Take ‘em on your little adventures or use them to fix up the house or whatever! Come on! You’re not gonna get a deal like this anywhere else!”
By the time Stan was finished, Garnet and Pearl were already well out of earshot. Amethyst, on the other hand, had conspicuously hung back. “Don’t worry, Stan,” she whispered with a sly grin. “I got you covered.”
“This isn’t going to be anything like the last time you broke me out of jail, is it, Amethyst?” Stan asked, doubtful.
“Nah,” she shrugged. “Mostly ‘cause I don’t have a battering ram on me this time. But just sit tight for a while. You’ll be outta here in no time. Trust me.”
“...Ugh,” Stan let out a long, weary sigh as he watched her run off. But with little other options available to him, he found he had no choice but to rely on her risky, reckless schemes once again. “Why do I always get such a bad feeling in my gut whenever you tell me to trust you?”
After stocking up on a steady supply of butterscotch, the kids found a secluded spot near the statues of Nathaniel Northwest and William Dewey in the park. As dejected as they were, Steven and Mabel sullenly ate their butterscotch without so much as a word, much less a smile. It was a sight that worried Dipper and Connie alike the longer it went on for, to the point that they soon couldn't bear to watch it go on any more than they already had.
“Connie, we have to do something,” Dipper whispered. “I hate seeing those two so upset.”
“Same here,” Connie frowned. “It’s so quiet without Mabel cracking a joke or Steven playing his ukulele…”
“Well, hopefully it won’t be like that for long,” Dipper said, resolved. “I have an idea. Follow my lead.” After a brief bout of silence, he addressed the despondent pair. “So, um… how’s that butterscotch treating you guys?”
“It’s sweet…” Mabel pouted.
“And sticky…” Steven added, just as morose.
“How about we go to the gold panning booth or something?” Dipper offered. “After all, anything’s better than just moping around here, right?”
“And it could be fun,” Connie smiled. “I mean, we probably won’t find any real gold, but we could always pretend. And if there’s two things we know you both like, it's shiny things and pretending.”
“We appreciate what you guys are trying to do, but… no thanks…” Steven sighed. “We’re… just not up for it.”
“Actually… can I ask you guys something?” Mabel began. “Do you think me and Steven are silly?”
Dipper and Connie exchanged an uneven glance at this. Their initial silence alone spoke volumes to the pair sitting alongside them, even more so than the halfhearted, uncertain answers they tried to give.
“Um, n-no?”
“Not… always...?”
“Aw, man!” Steven flopped onto his back as he pushed his ukulele even further away from him. “Even you guys think so!? Why did nobody ever tell us?! No wonder the Gems are always leaving me out of stuff. They probably think I act like a clown.”
“Oh, Steven, I’m sure they don’t think that…” Connie reassured. “You both can be really serious when you want to be.”
“But not when it counts…” Mabel shook her head. “The nacho earrings, the sweater… I thought I was being charming, but I guess people just see me as a big joke." Not wanting to cling onto her silliness any longer, she tore off her nacho earrings and took off her sweater, tying it around her waist.
“Come on, Mabel, you love that sweater!” Dipper protested.
“I did before Pacifica ruined it for me,” Mabel glared at the ground. “She ruins everything!”
“Ugh, Pacifica!” Dipper stood and scowled up at the statue behind them. “Why does she think that being related to the town founder means she can treat people like garbage?”
“I can’t stand how she goes around acting like she’s so much better than everyone!” Connie agreed, indigent. “Being rich shouldn’t give anyone that much of an ego. Someone really needs to take her down a peg.”
“Wait a minute!” Dipper started in sudden realization as he pulled the journal out of his vest. “I feel like I read something about Pacifica’s great-great-grandfather before.”
After flipping through a few pages, he quickly found the section of the journal that detailed the history of Gravity Falls. “Of course! This is perfect!” he wasted no time in reading the passage aloud for the others. “In my investigations and through several hints the Gems have given me, I recently made a discovery: Nathaniel Northwest and William Dewey may not be the true founders of Gravity Falls! I believe this secret is buried somewhere in the enclosed document. If only I could crack the code…”
Sure enough, a document was taped to the opposite page. Upon unfolding it, the kids were met with a cryptic letter filled with mysterious symbols and indecipherable codes. “Oh man, I knew that story Mayor Dewey told about the town’s founding sounded ridiculous!” Dipper exclaimed. “If this cover-up is true, it means that Pacifica’s entire family is a fraud. This could be a major conspiracy!”
“Oh, just imagine how mad Pacifica will be when she finds out!” Connie said, chuckling. “We have to find a way to prove this theory and tell the entire town! They deserve to know the truth.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Steven interrupted, his eyes wide with newfound excitement. “I want to help you guys solve this mystery!”
“Me too!” Mabel volunteered. “After all, conspiracies are serious, right?”
“Oh yeah, definitely,” Dipper nodded.
“Well, if we help you guys crack this code, then nobody could ever call the two of us silly ever again!” Mabel reasoned.
“Yeah!” Steven jumped to his feet, holding his ukulele over his head. “No more silliness for me! From now on, you can call me Serious Steven!” With a daring shout, he prepared to slam his ukulele to the ground, at least until Connie rushed in to stop him.
“Steven, wait!” she exclaimed. “You don’t have to break your ukulele to be serious!”
“Oh, good!” Steven breathed a sigh of relief as he slung his instrument back over his shoulder. “I might have gotten a little caught up in the heat of the moment…”
“Ok, guys, let’s do this,” Dipper said, holding his hand up for the others-five. “Mystery Kids?”
“I thought you didn’t like that,” Mabel said. After all, out of all of them, her brother had been the least fond of the title Soos had given the four of them a few weeks ago.
“It’s starting to grow on me,” Dipper shrugged, smiling.
“Woo hoo! Mystery Kids!” Steven cheered as all four of them high-fived. Without any further ado, the group set off to begin their search for the truth, unaware of the pair who had been eavesdropping from the other side of the statues.
Blubs and Durland watched as the kids ran off, prompting the sheriff to activate his walkie-talkie. “This is Sheriff Blubs. We’ve got a code sepia!”
“What?!” the dispatcher on the other end exclaimed, alarmed. “And what are you doing about it?!”
“We’re following them right now,” Blubs confirmed.
“Find them and stop them. There’s no room for error.”
“I understand. Blubs out,” the sheriff put the walkie talkie away before turning to his partner. “Deputy Durland, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we’ve been training for our entire careers. Are you ready?”
Instead of offering an answer, Durland simply held up his bell and gave it another cheerful ring. “Woo!”
Blubs couldn’t help but laugh, as charmed by his partner as he ever was. “If being delightful was a crime, you’d be breaking the law!”
“Let’s go get ‘em!” Durland proclaimed, still ringing his bell. They both headed off, their mission to stop the kids from completing their quest clear. The very history of Gravity Falls, if not the entire nation, depended on it.
The kids decided to begin their search at the town library. If there was any place that could offer them the intel they’d need to decode the journal’s document, it’d be there. Dipper and Connie had already accumulated a tall stack of books and slides on cryptology while Steven and Mabel cleared a table for them to work. Solving a mystery of this caliber certainly wouldn’t be easy, but they were determined to rise to the occasion, just like they had several times this summer so far.
“Alright, you guys,” Dipper began. “If we can prove Nathaniel Northwest wasn’t one of the founders of Gravity Falls, then it will finally put Pacifica in her place.”
“And solving a real mystery will prove that we’re not silly!” Mabel added, exchanging a grin with Steven. “We’re serious. Seeeeerrioussssss…” She kept up a stoic expression on her face as she used her tongue to lap up the butterscotches sitting on the table nearby.
“Serious Steven!” he cheered loudly, only to be quickly shushed by the librarian. “Oh, sorry!” he called, only for the librarian to quiet him once more. “Sorry…” he whispered this time, blushing.
“Ok, it’s time to beat these books,” Connie said as she cracked a heavy tome open.
“Hey, what did they ever do to you?” Steven asked, concerned.
“It’s an expression, Steven,” Connie laughed. “We’re just going to use them to help us find a way to crack that code, right Dipper?”
“Right,” Dipper nodded before turning towards the projector slides he had gathered on various kinds of codes. “So, let’s see here…” He held the document up alongside the projector for comparison as he went through them. “It’s not Egyptian… It’s not numerology… It’s not—wait, of course! The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame!” He pointed to the large triangle that took up most of the page. “Lighting this parchment on fire will reveal a secret message!”
“Whoa, really?!” Steven loudly asked, only to be shushed by the librarian again.
“It’s so obvious!” Mabel exclaimed, still chewing on butterscotch.
“Alright,” Dipper grabbed the candle sitting on the table. “Let’s light this sucker up and—Mabel!”
Mabel froze at her brother’s surprised exclamation, taking a brief glance up at the paper hat she had quickly crafted out of the document. “Look! I made a hat!” she proclaimed, only to realize her error immediately afterwards. “Ugh, I did something silly again!”
“To be fair, it is a really cool looking hat,” Steven encouraged.
“Wait a minute,” Connie took a second, closer look at the folded document. “The way the symbols are all rearranged… It sort of looks like… a map!”
“Whoa, you’re right!” Dipper exclaimed, surprised. “Mabel, you folded it into a map! And I was gonna burn it…”
The kids’ shared excitement was suddenly broken when they happened to overhear a startling conversation at the front desk. “We’re on the lookout for four kids who might be reading,” Sheriff Blubs informed the librarian.
“We’re huntin’ them down for secret reasons!” Durland exclaimed, still ringing his bell.
Knowing they didn’t have much time left to spare, the kids abandoned their table, hiding behind a shelf just out of sight of the officers. They hadn’t guessed that their investigation might get them in trouble with the law, but that seemed to be the case now that Blubs and Durland were clearly on their tails.
In light of this information, the kids knew they had not a moment to spare as they quickly took to hiding behind a nearby shelf, just out of sight of the officers. They hadn’t guessed that their investigation might get them in trouble with the law, but that apparently seemed to be the case since Blubs and Durland were now on their tails.
“Okay, guys, maybe we should take this elsewhere,” Dipper anxiously peered out from behind the shelf.
“Way ahead of you, Dipper!” Steven gave a thumbs up as he lay on top of a wheeled stepping stool. He let out a laugh as he gave himself a push, riding the stool down the aisle as the others quickly followed after him.
“Steven, wait!” Connie called as quietly as possible. “We might get caught!”
“Yeah, and I want a turn!” Mabel protested.
“Wee!” Steven chuckled as he went down the row of books, glancing over at them curiously. “Wow! There are even cool books on the bottom shelves!” He’d just about ridden the stool to the end of the aisle when he happened to spot a stray book lying under one of the shelves. “Huh? What are you doing down there little buddy?” He picked both himself and the book up just as the others caught up to him. The tome was covered with dust, and from its blank, worn red cover it was clear to see that it was quite old. “Guys, check this book out!” Steven showed it off to his friends.
“Steven, it’s blank,” Connie noted, knowing they didn’t really have time for this. After all, the cops were certainly still on the hunt for them; they had to leave the library as soon as possible. Or else.
Steven let out an amazed gasp as he cracked the book open, only to find a detailed sketch of the Gem temple on one of its pages. “But look!” he flipped through several more of its pages so everyone else could see. “It’s full of drawings of magical Gem places! Just like the journal!”
“Wait, what?!” Dipper took the book, immensely intrigued. Indeed, it had sketches and descriptions of not just the temple, but other mystical locations as well, many of which he had seen in the journal before. Still, there were clear differences between this book and the journal, including the style of the illustrations and language used in the descriptions, proving that they were both written by different authors. “What is this thing?”
“Uh, we might not have enough time to sit down and read it here!” Mabel pointed out. She stole a peak through a gap in the shelves, spotting the cops as they searched the next aisle over for them.
The kids made a beeline for the exit, deciding to take the mysterious book with them. Fortunately, they made it out of the library without being noticed, giving them the time and space they needed to take a closer look at the book Steven had found.
“Whoa… Apparently this book was the journal of Buddy Budwick!” Connie pointed out as she read through the first few pages of the book.
“Buddy who-now?” Mabel asked, confused.
“Oh wait! I think I’ve heard of that guy,” Steven said. “Mayor Dewey mentions him every other year during his Pioneer Day speech. I think he was a friend of William Dewey or something.”
“Then that means he could have known something that can help!” Dipper theorized. “Connie, keep reading.”
“Ok, let’s see here…” Connie adjusted the frames of her glasses as she began to read the first entry. “ August, 1845. At last our long and perilous journey upon the Oregon Trail has reached its end. Our wagon train has found a place to stake our claims and start anew, a small, rather odd valley dubbed Gravity Falls. However, I would be absolutely remiss if I didn’t recount the miraculous circumstances that brought our leaders, William Dewey and Nathaniel Northwest, to this bold new land…
“We had been journeying upon the trail for many weeks; our food supplies and morale were starting to run quite low, but Mr. Dewey and Mr. Northwest refused to share their healthy rations with the rest of us. (Since this is my own personal journal, it would likely be safe for me to note that neither of them were very competent leaders.) However, as we were going over a precarious overpass, we were attacked by a monster unlike anything we had ever seen before!
“Mr. Northwest and Mr. Dewey prepared to flee for their lives, leaving the rest of us to fend the fell monster off alone. But alas! When it seemed as though all of our hope had died and the hour of doom seemed at hand, we were rescued! Our savior was a giant, eight-armed woman, an illustrious goddess of a creature! With ease, she defeated the monster and carried us and our wagons into the safety of the valley, before somehow splitting apart into four smaller, yet still quite impressive women.
“The women introduced themselves as the Crystal Gems, and their leader, Rose Quartz, warmly welcomed us to the fledgling town of Gravity Falls. However, she gave us a gentle warning that this land was one of untold dangers and that it might not be safe for us to stay. Mr. Northwest and Mr. Dewey harshly scoffed at her concerns and decided to settle down here anyway, as did most of the rest of us. Still, I cannot help but wonder if the Crystal Gems were right about this odd little town after all…”
“Wow, my mom and the Gems helped all of those people get here!” Steven grinned once Connie was done reading. “That’s so cool!”
“That’s not the only thing that’s cool about this,” Dipper said as he flipped through Buddy’s book for himself. “If what this Buddy guy wrote is true, then that means that Gravity Falls was already here way before Nathaniel Northwest and William Dewey got here! Which means-”
“It means that the Gems can turn into a giant, giant woman!” Mabel interrupted. “ I wanna see her and all eight of her arms!”
“No,” Dipper flatly corrected. “It means that Northwest and Dewey couldn’t have been the town founders! This book proves it!”
“And to think I found it just rolling around on a stool!” Steven laughed, before remembering his resolve. “I-I mean, I found it by being serious !”
“It’s proof… but I don’t think it’s the kind of proof anyone’s going to accept…” Connie mused, frowning. “We’re gonna need something bigger… Something that Pacifica and her family won’t just be able to shrug off.”
“You’re right,” Dipper agreed. “Mabel, let me see that, uh, ‘hat’ of yours again?”
Mabel handed it over, giving Dipper a chance to see exactly where the map was pointing them. “Hm…” he pondered over the abstract image of a pointing angel. “I’m… not sure what this is supposed to be.”
“Oh, I know!” Steven raised his hand. “I’ve seen a statue that looks just like that in the town cemetery!”
“Then that’s where we’re headed,” Connie said as she tucked Buddy’s book under her arm. “Let’s go!”
As the kids hurried off, Blubs and Durland emerged from the library following a fruitless search. Almost as soon as they did, Blub’s walkie-talkie buzzed to life once more. “Officer Blubs, have the targets been apprehended yet?”
“Negative,” Blubs shook his head. “But we’re close. I promise, those kids’ll never get past us!”
Of course, at that exact moment, the kids ran straight past the pair en route to the cemetery. “Hey! Get back here!” Blubs shouted after him. He and Durland ended up tripping over each other, however, leading to them falling into a messy pile of limbs at the bottom of the library stairs, much to the sheriff’s frustration. “Dang it!”
As was the case with every Pioneer Day, the Gems found that most of their time at the festival was spent meandering around and making sure that no one was blindly walking into danger. It was a painfully tedious task, one that they’d dutifully undertaken ever since the holiday was created years ago. As much as they all wished it’d finally come to an end, no matter how much the townsfolk may have enjoyed it.
“Well, no one’s broken any bones or set anything on fire yet,” Pearl noted as they walked down Main Street. “So I guess that’s a plus when compared to the last several years…”
“Knowing how Pioneer Day usually goes, I doubt the streak will be broken,” Garnet said dryly.
Oddly enough, Amethyst said nothing as she lagged a bit behind her teammates. She kept her focus over on Stan as he sat in the stocks, impatient waiting for her plan to kick into action. A plan she was more than ready to carry out… as soon as Garnet and Pearl weren’t looking.
“Heeeeeyy, look who it is!” Amethyst perked up when she noticed the kids approaching. Just the sort of distraction she needed right now. “How are you guys digging Pioneer Day? Hopefully you all aren’t bored out of your minds like we are.”
“Sorry, you guys, but we can’t stop to talk,” Steven said. “We’re in the middle of something super serious .”
“Oh really?” Pearl asked with a curious smile. “Like what?”
“We’re gonna find out who really founded Gravity Falls!” Mabel grinned daringly. “It’s a HUGE mystery and we’re not going to stop until we crack this nut wide open!”
“Sounds like a pretty big nut,” Garnet said, smirking.
“Wait a second! Maybe you guys can help us out,” Dipper said as he pulled out the journal. “You three were around when Gravity Falls was founded, weren’t you?”
“Well… not exactly…” Pearl frowned. “We came about a year late, but we were ‘around’ back then, so to speak.”
“So you guys would know whether or not Nathaniel Northwest and William Dewey were actually the town founders, wouldn’t you?” Connie pressed.
“Are you kidding?” Amethyst burst out laughing. “Those losers? Come on. They couldn’t have found their way to a tree. And in case you haven’ noticed, there are trees everywhere around here.”
“Plus, they didn’t arrive here until almost two years after we got here,” Pearl pointed out. “Yet the townsfolk have been so insistent on hailing them as the town founders for over one hundred years now for some inane reason.” As she continued, neither her or Garnet noticed as Amethyst discreetly looked away when no one was watching. “We’ve tried countless times to try and set the record straight, but the people of Gravity Falls are stubbornly set in their historically inaccurate ways. What a shame.”
“Then that means the book was right!” Dipper exclaimed, excited. Because certainly, with the Gems’ help, this entire conspiracy could come to a conclusive end right here and right now. All it took was asking the only question left unanswered: “So if Northwest and Dewey didn’t found Gravity Falls, then who did?”
“That’s easy,” Garnet replied, adjusting hershades. “It was-”
Just before she could finish, a sudden crash rattled the entire street. Garnet and Pearl spun around to find a startling sight. Amethyst’s attempt at breaking Stan out of the stocks had ended in failure, and a messy failure at that. Her scheme involved a bicycle, a blowtorch, and several fireworks, all of which she’d managed to gather in record time. While there’d been no injuries in the resulting explosion, several people were still sent running from the small fires it had set. Amidst this disaster was Amethyst, covered in soot as she stood beside Stan, still sullenly stuck in the stocks.
“Well, you gotta give me credit for trying at least,” she shrugged, patting the flames off his fez.
“I’d give you even more credit if you hadn’t ended up causing small-scale property damage,” Stan deadpanned.
“Amethyst!” Pearl scolded from across the square, her hands curled into angry fists. “What did you do?!”
“Just a little jailbreak, P,” Amethyst said, hanging her arms behind her head. “No biggie.”
“Well, there’s our disaster for this year,” Garnet said, already setting off across the street. “Might as well go clean it up.”
“Unfortunately…” Pearl grumbled. Still, she called back to the kids as she sulked after Garnet. “Have fun with your mystery hunt, kids! And stay safe!”
“But wait!” Dipper shouted after them. “You still haven’t told us who the real town founder is!”
Garnet paused for a moment, glancing back over her shoulder as she provided a very brief, very vague response. “You four will figure it out. In fact, the answer’s even closer than you think.”
“That… doesn’t really help at all…” Connie frowned as soon as the Gems went out of earshot.
“I guess finding out the truth is still up to us,” Steven shrugged.
“To the cemetery!” Mabel charged ahead to continue their quest. Only to end up bumping straight into none other than the very heiress they were trying to discredit.
“Hey!” Pacifica snapped, spinning around to face the group. “Watch where you’re–ugh,” she stopped herself with a groan. “Of course it’s you. What, are you guys late to the local goofball convention or something?”
As she let out a cocky chuckle, both Mabel and Steven shrunk back, still bothered by how she’d mocked them earlier. Dipper and Connie, on the other hand, weren’t about to back down so easily. Especially not now when they finally had some form of ammunition to use against her. “Actually,” Dipper began with a small, vindictive smile. “We’re on our way to prove that your entire family history is bogus and that your great-great grandpa was a total fraud.”
“You’re what ?” Pacifica asked, aghast.
“Yeah, turns out we have some pretty compelling evidence that Nathaniel Northwest wasn’t the founder of Gravity Falls after all,” Connie crossed her arms. “Though to be honest, it wouldn’t be that surprising if he really was a fake. Making yourself seem like you’re way more important than you actually are must be a Northwest family tradition.”
Pacifica reeled back, shocked and offended. Meanwhile, Dipper couldn’t help but snort out a laugh as Steven and Mabel perked up a little beside him. “Oo, nice one,” he said to Connie, impressed.
“Thanks,” she smirked, before quietly admitting. “I’ve been working on it all day.”
“Y-you… you have no idea what you’re talking about!” Pacifica hotly accused. “Even if you do have ‘proof’, nobody will ever believe you! I know I definitely don’t.”
“Well… what if we showed you?” Steven suggested.
“Showed me?”
“Yeah!” Mabel agreed, smiling. “Come with us. Then you’ll be able to see for yourself that we’re telling the truth!”
“Yeah right,” Pacifica scoffed, turning her nose up at the group. “As if I’d ever be caught dead anywhere with you losers.”
“...Uh… well, you’re kinda with us right now,” Steven pointed out, frowning. “So…”
“Fine, have it your way then,” Connie shrugged, turning away. “But don’t say we didn’t warn you when you and your family ended up disgraced and humiliated in front of the entire town.”
With that, they began to head off, leaving Pacifica behind to stew over everything they’d told her. And, as much as she adamantly didn’t want to believe a single word any of them said, as much as she didn’t want to think everything she’d ever been told about her family’s esteemed history was a lie… somehow doubt still slipped in through the cracks all the same. Doubt that managed to be just enough to convince her to begrudgingly change her tune.
“Ugh, wait,” she huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “This is so stupid, but… I guess I’ll come along. But only so I can laugh in all of your faces when you find out you’re wrong , which you are .”
“Great! Glad to have you along for the ride!” Mabel warmly chimed in before Dipper or Connie could make any sort of comeback. She caught Pacifica off guard when she slung an arm over her shoulder. “Check us out! Now we’re the Mystery Kids plus one !”
“Ew, no,” Pacifica swiftly pulled away. “Let me make one thing very clear: I am not and I never will be part of your dumb little nerd club.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Dipper shot her a cold smirk. “We’d never want you to be.”
“Come on!” Steven cut in before another argument could break out. The lingering tension was all but lost on him as he charged on ahead to continue their investigation. “To the cemetery!”
Pacifica stopped short, startled as the others led the way to the next step in their alleged discovery. “To the where now?”
“Are you guys serious ?!” Amethyst asked, distraught. She flinched when Garnet finished slamming the stockade down and Pearl securely locked her in right next to Stan. “What did I even do?”
“You nearly blew up the entire street!” Pearl harshly exclaimed. “And you were trying to break Stan out, even though he had been arrested by legal officials!”
“So?”
“So, you broke the law,” Garnet explained. “And even as a Crystal Gem, you are not above the law, Amethyst.”
“Pfft, yeah I am,” Amethyst muttered under her breath.
“What was that?” Pearl asked, hands on her hips.
“Nothing,” Amethyst flatly droned, rolling her eyes. “You guys do know that this dumb thing can’t hold me, right? I can just break out any time I want. Like this.” With a sly smirk, Amethyst shape-shifted her arms and head to the point that they were small enough to slip out of the stocks. An impressive trick that Garnet and Pearl were far from taken with.
“No, Amethyst,” Garnet shook her head. “You did the crime; now you have to do the time.”
“Come oooooonnnn…” Amethyst groaned as she begrudgingly positioned herself back into the stockade. “You guys are being so lame !”
“We’re not the ones who told you to set fireworks off into a crowd,” Pearl retorted. “If you two want to act like deviants, then you deserve to be treated like deviants. Let this be a lesson to you both.”
“Gee thanks, ‘mom’,” Stan deadpanned. “Got any more after-school special messages for us? Like how we should look both ways before crossing the street? Or how stealing is wrong?”
Pearl growled, far beyond fed up with them both as she stormed off. “Ugh, you two are hopeless…”
“Remember, Amethyst,” Garnet sternly advised. “No breaking out.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Amethyst flatly agreed. “I’ll sit here in time out like a good little Gem. You don’t gotta to worry about me.”
“I better not have to,” Garnet warned, adjusting her shades as she left.
A beat of silence passed between the two “fugitives”, though it was soon broken by Stan as he spared a knowing look over at Amethyst. “So you’re already thinking up your next escape plan, right?”
Amethyst grinned deviously as she shapeshifted one of her hands out of the stockade. “Oh, you know it.”
If Pacifica didn’t have a high opinion of Mabel, Steven, Dipper, and Connie before, the four of them dragging her to the town cemetery certainly didn’t do anything to change that. Even with her family’s pride at stake, she was already regretting her decision to come along on this ridiculous “adventure” of theirs.
“So what?” she cringed as they passed by yet another deteriorating tombstone. “Is this just where you dweebs like to come hang out, or is there actually supposed to be some kind of ‘proof’ here? ‘Cause I’m not seeing any.”
“If you really have to know,” Connie shot a critical look back over her shoulder at her. “Our next clue is right over… here.”
The group stopped before a tall, angelic statue, the very statue their map was pointing them to. Dipper and Connie approached it first, eyeing it carefully for any potential switches or secrets. “Hm… it must be pointing toward the next clue,” Dipper theorized.
“Yeah, but what?” Connie looked in the direction the statue was dictating. “There’s nothing over there but more headstones…”
“Oh, gross!” Mabel suddenly caught everyone’s attention. She giggled as she hung by the nose on the statue's pointed finger. “She’s picking my nose!” Her amusement quickly shifted into alarm when the statue’s finger suddenly snapped upwards. The second it did, the grave in front of the statue began to slide open, revealing a set of stairs leading somewhere underground.
“Whoa!” Steven gasped, stars in his eyes. “It’s a super secret tunnel! Great job, Mabel!”
“Ha! Who’s silly now , Pacifica?” Mabel fixed the other girl with a triumphant smirk. Only to immediately fall off the statue, landing hard at her feet.
“Uh, still you,” Pacifica sneered down at her. She didn’t keep the upper hand for long, however, as a sharp, fierce growl suddenly sounded from only inches behind her. She squealed when she spun around to see the large pink feline snarling at her, rushing to hide for cover behind Dipper without even thinking. “What the heck is that ?!” she asked, terrified.
“Oh, Lion!” Steven grinned, hurrying over to give his pet a hug. “What are you doing all the way out here, buddy?”
Lion simply offered a calm roar this time, happily accepting the ear scratches Mabel was giving him. Pacifica, however, was still far from allayed. “No, seriously, what is that thing and why is it pink ?” she asked, still clinging onto Dipper for dear life. At least until he made a point of pulling his arm away from her.
“Oh, this is just Lion,” Steven explained. “He’s… well, he’s Lion.”
“That explains literally nothing,” Pacifica deadpanned.
“Huh,” Connie watched as Lion led the way into the newly opened passage. “I guess Lion wants to come along with us.”
“Great!” Steven grinned, excited. “Every mystery-hunting team needs a super cute animal sidekick after all!”
“Yeah!” Mabel wholeheartedly agreed. She was the first of the group to follow Lion into the passageway, happily munching on the butterscotch she’d brought along for the trip. “Now we’re getting into real conspiracy mode! I’m feeling serious . Aren’t you, Steven?”
“I sure am!” Steven nodded as he launched into another impromptu song. “Oooh, we’re going on a mystery hunt! For some secret mystery stuff! Something, something, mystery something!”
“Oh my gosh,” Pacifica groaned, facepalming. “ Why did I agree to come with you annoying weirdos again?”
“You’d better watch it, Pacifica,” Dipper smirked when he noticed Lion glaring back at her. “Lion really doesn’t like it when anyone makes fun of Steven. Who knows? He might just get mad enough to make his next meal a gourmet one, if you catch my drift.”
“W-what?!” Pacifica paled, alarmed.
“Don’t worry, Pacifica,” Steven assured, chuckling. “Lion’s never eaten anyone before. Or at least… I don’t think he has… Huh.”
The entire group started, surprised, when Lion suddenly chimed into the conversation with a low, rumbling roar. He positioned himself in front of the group, blocking their path forward as he reared low, fixing Steven with an almost insistent look.”Uh… you wanna give us a ride?” he inferred. Lion didn’t respond outside of a single blink; and for Steven at least, that was more than enough of a ‘yes’. “Well, if you say so.”
“Whoa, hold on,” Pacifica watched, wide eyed, as the others climbed onto Lion’s back. “You don’t seriously expect me to get on that thing, do you?”
“Aw, what?” Connie goaded. “Don’t tell us you’re scared .”
“Tch, no ,” Pacifica bristled, blushing. She shoved the hand Mabel was offering her away in favor of clumsily climbing onto Lion herself.
Between all five of them, it was a very tight, cramped fit. Yet strangely, Lion didn’t seem to be bothered by all of the extra weight when, without warning, he took off running straight through the narrow tunnel. The kids had no choice but to cling onto each other, each of them screaming against Lion’s rapid pace. Their terror only mounted when Dipper managed to shine his flashlight ahead to the solid stone wall Lion was bolting straight towards.
“Dead end!” he warned, panicked.
“Lion, wait!” Steven pleaded, pulling on his pet’s pastel mane. “Don’t run into the-”
His cries were ultimately drowned out by the piercing roar that ripped out of Lion’s maw, a wave of sonic energy shooting out into the air along with it. This energy struck the wall squarely, imploding its stony surface on contact and creating a wide opening. Lion darted through that opening, into the vast, open chamber that somehow awaited on the other side of it. As he skidded to a stop on the surface of the shallow water covering the ground, all five kids fell off of him, equally stunned as they splashed into the pool.
“Oh my gosh!” Mabel gasped as she sat up, exhilarated. “Let’s do that again!”
“What are you, nuts?” Pacifica huffed as she wrung the water out of her hair. “I can’t believe this… First you dorks drag me to a filthy graveyard, then you force me onto the back of that probably flea-ridden thing ,” she fixed Lion with an icy glare that he was more than happy to return in full. “And now… now we’re in some gross wet cave and my custom-made Pioneer Day outfit is ruined !” She motioned down to her soaking wet, slightly muddy dress. “Whatever you nerds think you found better be enough to make you the town laughingstocks, or else you’ll be hearing from my exceptionally well-paid lawyers!”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know about us becoming the town laughingstocks,” Dipper dryly returned as he spared a glance at the surrounding cave. “But it looks like we sure did find… something .”
Indeed, it was an impressive sight; a deep cavern filled with jagged stones rising from both the ground and ceiling. And in the center of the chamber, resting in the water, was a huge, circular stone platform, practically shimmering in the cave’s natural light.
“You don’t think this could be some sort of magical Gem place, do you?” Connie wondered. The kids quickly got their answer when Steven stepped foot on the platform, somehow igniting it in a soft, otherworldly sort of light. A hand-shaped pedestal slowly rose up from the center of the slab, adorned with the symbol of a rose spiraled by thorns.
“Yep. Magic Gem place,” Steven confirmed. Unable to quell their curiosity, the kids gathered around the pedestal as Lion padded over to watch. “Uh, Lion?” Steven turned to him, frowning. “Normally I’m all about this stuff, but I don’t think there are really any clues here…”
In lieu of any actual answers, Lion simply fixed Steven with a cryptic gaze as he let out another tranquil growl. “What does that even mean, Lion?!” Steven fussed, exasperated. “What does that even mean?”
“Wait,” Dipper stepped a bit closer to the pedestal as he pulled out the journal. “I’ve seen that symbol before…” He flipped through a few pages before finally finding a sketch of the exact insignia resting on the hand. “Here it is: ‘The emblem of Rose Quartz’. ”
“My mom?” Steven asked, surprised.
“No way…” Mabel gasped. “Steven, if this place was your mom’s, then Lion must have brought you here for some super special destiny-type stuff! Give it a high five and see what happens!”
“Ok,” Steven did exactly that. As soon as he placed his hand on the pedestal, it was enveloped in the same white light as the rest of the platform, much to (almost) everyone’s fasciation.
“What in the world…?” Pacifica muttered, utterly bewildered by what she was seeing.
“Hey, I think it likes you!” Connie flashed Steven a wry grin.
Steven laughed, though it quickly faded when he tried to slip his hand off the pedestal, only for it to remain firmly planted in place. “Ah! My hand’s stuck!” he gasped, alarmed. “It won’t—come off!”
While Connie, Dipper, and Mabel rushed to Steven’s aid, Pacifica simply stood by, arms crossed as she tried and failed to make sense of all of this. She yelped, however, when she was nearly knocked off her feet from the shape that suddenly rose up from the platform right beside her. Said shape was a large, long case, holding a diverse set of unique, elegant blades, all hovering in a neatly organized line.
“Hey, swords!” Connie grinned, intrigued.
“No!” Steven fearfully cried. In an instant, the swords sunk back into the platform, as though they were never there at all.
“Ok, what is going on here?” Dipper asked, just as confused as the others were. “Steven, how’d you do that?”
“I don’t know…”
“Do it again! Do it again!” Mabel urged, shaking him by the shoulder. Just by this movement alone, another set of weaponry rose up from the platform: a collection of axes of all shapes and sizes. “Cool!”
“Whoa, that gives me an idea,” Dipper said. Without warning, he gave Steven a sudden jab on the shoulder and Connie, quickly understanding his plan, followed suit by pulling on Steven’s ear.
“Ow! You guys, what-” Steven tried to ask, only for Mabel to cut him off by poking him in the side. He could do little else but laugh as his friends poked and prodded him, hoping that each move might bring about some sort of reaction from the pedestal. “H-hey! Stop it! I’m ticklish!” he cried between his laughter. “Cut it out, you guys! I’m gonna pee!”
Despite his protests, the plan somehow worked as a large collection of armor emerged from the platform all around them. On that alone, Steven couldn’t quell his own curiosity for what else this mysterious chamber might hold as he cried, “Quick! Someone press my nose!”
Connie did so, swiftly replacing the armor with a trio of familiar-looking pink canons. “Are those light cannons?” Mabel asked, surprised.
“We totally could have used those to destroy that Red Eye a few weeks ago…” Dipper noted, deadpan.
“To destroy the what ?” Pacifica asked, even more lost in the shuffle than she already was.
Her question was ultimately left unanswered as Mabel tugged at the corners of Steven’s mouth. “Next!” As the light canons sunk back into the pedestal, a statue of a woman bearing three large flails hanging from each of her arms rose up in their place. “Ooo! Spikey chain balls!”
As Dipper poked the center of Steven’s back, the flails were replaced with perhaps the oddest sight they had seen yet. “A giant… penny?”
“Does that mean it’s worth more than a regular penny?” Connie pondered.
“Well, that would make ‘cents’ ,” Steven joked. And while that was more than enough to get a laugh out of the others, Pacifica had long-since passed the limits of her already low patience.
“Alright, I’ve had it!” she snapped, frustrated. “None of this useless garbage proves anything! Just admit it already: you were just mad about how I totally embarrassed you earlier, so you came up with all that conspiracy junk to try and get back at me. Well guess what? It didn’t work. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” she brushed her dirty dress off with a haughty smirk as she turned to leave. “I have a festival to get back to being the center of. Later, losers!”
“Aw…” Mabel’s shoulders drooped in disappointment. “And I really thought we were onto something too…”
“Yeah,” Steven agreed, sighing. “Now how are we ever supposed to prove that we’re serious…?”
Out of seemingly nowhere, the entire platform flashed brighter than ever before. Steven’s hand was finally freed from the pedestal as the platform rumbled gently against the water surrounding it. Pacifica stopped in her tracks at the edge, spinning around to join the others in watching something else emerge from the platform. While there were no weapons this time, there was just about everything else, between stacks of books, weathered scrolls, authentic antiques, and historical portraits. Despite her better judgement, Pacifica followed as Steven, Connie, Dipper, and Mabel ventured in closer to see exactly what this new discovery might hold.
“Wow! It's a treasure trove of historic-y, secret-y things!” Mabel grinned as she grabbed a document labeled “top secret”. Not only did the page reveal that Abraham Lincoln had an extra hand hidden under his top hat, but it also revealed Ben Franklin’s true gender. “Oh man! Benjamin Franklin secretly was a woman!”
“Huh, I never knew John Adams had a pet rhino…” Connie mused, looking over a portrait displaying the second president and his beloved pet.
“Whoa, this one has the Gems in it!” Steven held up a painting of the Gems clad in old-fashioned clothes on board a boat with several humans. In it, Garnet stood perched on the bow of the boat as she punched a shark squarely in the face. “Cool!”
It didn’t take long for Dipper to happen upon another groundbreaking document, one that contained the very info they’d come all this way to find. “Guys, check this out!” he called the others over to join him before reading it aloud. “ Let it be here recorded that, after being deposed from his position of co-wagon train leader, William Dewey, supposed first mayor of Gravity Falls, was actually just a common manure salesman. Likewise, his partner, Nathaniel Northwest, fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was, in fact, a fraud, as well as a waste-shoveling village idiot.”
“ WHAT?! ” Pacifica’s scandalized shriek echoed through the entire cavern. “Let me see that!” She snatched the document away from Dipper, rapidly reading it through for herself. And the more she read, the more dismayed she became by the truth behind what she thought she’d always known. “No… no, this… this has gotta be fake! There’s no way this is true! Nathaniel Northwest was a Northwest . He couldn’t have just been some… some nobody like… like all of you !”
“Uh, he could have been and it sure sounds like he was ,” Connie crossed her arms.
“Sorry to break it to you, Pacifica,” Dipper added, just as smugly pleased by their incredible find. “But your great-great grandfather–heck, your whole family really–was just one big sham all along. Man, just wait till the papers hear about this!”
“You guys…” Mabel quietly admonished when she noticed the genuinely distressed look on Pacifica’s face. A look that made her wonder if maybe they were the ones going too far in humiliating the one who had once humiliated them.
“I-I just… I don’t understand…” Pacifica muttered, shaking her head. By now, she was gripping the cover-up document so tightly her hands were trembling from sheer mortification alone. “If he wasn’t the founder… then who was ?”
“Oh!” Steven supplied an answer to this question as he spotted another document lying nearby. “According to this, “The true founder of Gravity Falls was Sir Lord Quentin Trembly III, Esquire.”
“Who’s Quentin Trembly?” Mabel asked, confused.
“That’s none of your business!” The kids turned, startled, to find Blubs and Durland standing in the entryway Lion had created earlier. As exhausted as they were from the lengthy trek down here, they leaned against each other for support, catching their breath for a moment before storming up to join the kids on the platform.
“Woo! We gotcha!” Durland rung his bell, letting it echo loudly through the surrounding cave.
“Uh, maybe you should have closed up that hole your roar made, Lion…” Steven frowned. For his part, however, Lion didn’t so much as budge from the spot on the edge of the platform he was napping in.
“Oh, officers! Thank goodness, you’re here,” Pacifica put on a sudden dramatic air. In an instant, her earnest despair was lost behind a mask meant to incriminate the ones who had, in her eyes, shattered her family’s history in an instant. “These four degenerates kidnapped me and dragged me all the way down here just so they could tell me such vicious lies about my dear great-great grandfather!”
“We did what ?” Connie sharply asked.
“Can you believe it?” Pacifica pretended to cower behind the cops. “I’m positively traumatized ! You ought to arrest all four of them–and confiscate any whistleblowing documents they might have on them–on the spot for everything they’ve done to me!” She pointed an accusing finger at the group, who could only stand by in a mix of alarm and disgust at how she was trying to turn the tables against them. “My father will demand it when he finds out about this!”
“Er… Sorry, Miss Northwest,” Blubs rubbed the back of his neck, frowning. “The jig’s up. We already know all ‘bout the Dewey/Northwest coverup and about Quentin Trembly. It’s a matter of national security.”
“What?” Pacifica balked, dropping her act in an instant.
“What do you mean ‘national security’?” Dipper spoke up.
“And who was Quentin Trembly?” Connie asked, just as confused.
“See for yourselves,” Blubs removed his hat to reveal a film reel. Fortunately, a projector was among the nearby collection, and so the sheriff put the tape in, casting the projection on the cave wall.
“Aw, it’s black and white?” Mabel complained. Dipper was quick to shush her as the film began.
A government official, clad in a stately suit, appeared on the reel to deliver a sternly serious message. “If you’re watching this, then you are one of the eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as this filming is complete.” The official paused briefly, glancing off-screen before letting out an allayed sigh. “Oh what? No? Whoo! Well that’s a relief!” After another beat, he looked back to the camera and continued. “Of all of America’s secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembly, the eighth -and-a-half president of the United States.”
“President?” all five of the kids questioned, mutually puzzled.
“After winning the 1837 election in a literal landslide, Quentin Trembly quickly gained a reputation as America’s silliest president. He waged war on pancakes, appointed six babies to the Supreme Court, and issued the de-pants-ipation proclamation. His State of the Union address was even worse:”
“The only thing we have to fear is gigantic, man-eating spiders!” a vocal reenactment of the former president boldly proclaimed.
“He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley that he named Gravity Falls, after plummeting into it at high speed. Trembly’s shameful term was erased from history and he was officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as president, local manure salesman William Dewey as Gravity Falls’ first mayor, and local nobody Nathanial Northwest as its founder. The whereabouts of president Trembly’s body are unknown.”
“Until now,” Blubs said as the tape came to an end. The sheriff nodded to the other side of the platform, where the body of the eighth-and-a-half president himself was encased in a large, opaque orange block made of some sort of unknown material.
“Whoa, is this like, amber or something?” Dipper asked as everyone gathered before the petrified president.
“The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle. Smooth move, Mr. President!” Blubbs goaded. “Trembly’s body has been missing for over a hundred years now, and finding it was our special mission. And now, thanks to you kids, it’s complete.”
“Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl’s trail of candy wrappers to a lion-sized hole?” Durland snickered.
Mabel and Steven couldn’t help but share facepalm at this. Because between the two of them, they’d led the officers straight to them, putting a sudden end to their quest just before it could reach its completion. All because they had to go and be silly , just like they always were, just like they’d always be.
“Now that you know the truth, well, we can’t let you go around talkin’ about it,” Blubs said, his hands on his hips.
“You don’t mean-” Connie began to ask, though Mabel was quick to finish the question.
“Are you going to kill us?!”
“Oh no!” Durland gasped, alarmed.
“No, no!” Blubbs quickly clarified. “We’re just gonna escort all of you and all this stuff back to Washington. You ain’t coming back by the way.”
“Ha!” Pacifica let out a triumphant laugh as she turned back to the others, taking vindictive pleasure in their frightened faces. “That’s exactly what you four deserve for thinking you could upstage the Northwest family. And even better yet, now nobody will ever know about this so-called ‘conspiracy’ you dug up. Go ahead and take them away, officers. Goodbye and good riddance.”
“Uh… well, actually…” Durland frowned.
“When we said all of you,” Blubs continued where he left off. “We meant all of you.”
“Wait, what?” Pacifica started when the cops began to corral her closer to the other kids. No doubt in an effort to round them all up and haul them off to the nation’s capital, never to return.
Despite their dire straits, Steven made an effort to try and save them all before it was too late. “L-Lion!” he called to his still-snoozing pet. “Could you maybe wake up and help us out?! Please?!”
Lion only responded with a tired roar as he rolled over on his other side, content to continue sleeping peacefully through it all. “Gee, Lion, nice to know we can always count on you,” Dipper scowled, annoyed.
“Alright, kids, enough stalling,” Blubs said he and Durland began to round them, and everything they’d uncovered, up. “We have a train to catch.”
“You can’t do this to me! Do you have any idea what my net worth is!?” Pacifica furiously pounded on the side of the crate she and the other kids had been locked away in. Steven, Connie, Lion, and the twins wisely steered clear of her as she shouted a barrage of empty threats at the cops, even if they’d abandoned them and the president's frozen remains in the cargo hold as soon as they’d boarded the Washington-bound train. “ I’ll have your jobs, your houses, your cars, your… your left kidneys! All of it is gonna be sued right out from under you for even thinking about treating me like a common criminal!”
“Can you please just quit it already?” Dipper tiredly interrupted her. “No matter how many empty lawsuit threats you make, it's not going to get any of us out of here.”
“Us?” Pacifica scoffed. “There is no us . You dorks are on your own . Once we get to Washington, I’ll just pay off the actual president to let me go scott-free. After all, if there’s one thing every president cares about more than anything else, it's cold, hard cash .”
“Well, even if you do bail yourself out,” Connie began, crossing her arms. “It’s not going to change the fact that your entire family history is one giant lie.”
“S-so?” Pacifica harshly asked. “You think I care about that? B-because I don’t !” Wanting to get the scrutiny off of her, Pacifica turned her angry attention on Steven and Mabel instead. “Besides, we wouldn’t even be in this mess if it wasn’t for you two and your stupid candy wrappers and your freaky lion.”
While Dipper and Connie were more than ready to leap to their defense, Steven simply let out a long, sad sigh instead. “You’re right…” he flopped down to sit against Lion.
“Huh?” Dipper asked, sharing a concerned look with Connie. “No, she’s not! Steven, Mabel, we would have never found the truth about who really founded Gravity Falls without you two!”
“Yeah,” Connie soundly agreed. “You both figured out every clue we came across today, in ways that Dipper and I would have never even thought of! Buddy’s book, the map, the graveyard, the cave… all of that was all you guys!”
“Nice try, you guys, but it’s not helping,” Mabel glumly sighed. “Pacifica, you had us pegged all along. We’re just two silly failures, like that embarrassing president whats-his-name.”
“Hmph,” Pacifica crossed her arms, smirking. “It’s about time somebody agrees with me.”
Another argument was clearly on the verge of breaking out, not that Steven and Mabel paid much mind to it. Instead, they both absently broke a piece of peanut brittle off of the petrified president for a much-needed snack. Only for the rest of his longtime prison to begin splintering before it suddenly shattered completely, freeing the former president from his century-long stasis.
“It is I, Quentin Trembly!” he declared as he ripped his pants clean off without even flinching.
“Y-you’re alive?!” Dipper asked, baffled. “But how?” Likewise, the other kids were stunned by such an incredible twist; even Pacifica couldn’t hide her shock as it swiftly replaced any signs of her former anger.
“Peanut brittle really does have life-sustaining properties!” Mabel gasped. “You’re not silly, you’re brilliant!”
“And so are you, my dear girl, and you too, my young friend,” Trembly offered Steven and Mabel a smile. “For following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb!”
“You also have Lion to thank, Mr. President,” Steven nodded to the pink beast. “He’s the one who led us to the cave where you were hidden.”
“Ah, yes! Thank you, my good man!” Trembly held out a hand for Lion to shake. He made no move to return it, instead simply plopping down to resume his earlier nap, not that the former president seemed to mind. “Oh, he’s so polite! How refreshing!”
“What the heck is wrong with this idiot?” Pacifica asked, put off.
“Either he’s been frozen in that peanut brittle for too long,” Connie began, frowning. “Or… he’s just like this.
“By Jefferson!” Trembly exclaimed, glancing around. ‘We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box…”
“It’s a crate, Mr. President,” Mabel clarified, grinning.
“Good thing I have the President’s Key, which can open any lock in America!” Trembly pulled the key out of his suit before slamming it into the side of the crate repeatedly.
“I… don’t think that’s going to work…” Dipper pointed out.
“Wood! My age-old enemy…” Trembly grumbled, putting the key away. “In order to get out of here, we’ll need the silliest plan ever conceived.”
“Well, there’s definitely someone in here who can help you with that,” Connie said with a knowing smirk.
“Really? Who?” Steven asked, oblivious.
“Hm…” Mabel mused, glancing around the crate. “How about… that hole!” She pointed out a tiny opening near the base of the crate.
“We shall leap through it!” Trembly zealously declared.
“Yeah!” Steven readily agreed. Without any hesitation, the trio leapt at the hole together, much to Dipper, Connie, and Pacifica’s shared confusion.
“Ok, seriously,” Pacifica huffed, thoroughly annoyed. “This has gotta be the dumbest day of my life, hands down.”
“Guys, I don’t think that’s working,” Connie said, frowning.
“Trust the silliness!” Mabel sternly asserted.
“We… can do it!” Steven cried, pushing hard against the hole.
“Fiddlesticks! Keep going!” Trembly urged as he led their ridiculous charge. At the same time, a woodpecker happened to fly into the cargo car through its open window, landing on the crate. It quickly noticed Mabel’s finger as she wiggled it out of the hole, mistaking it for a worm as it rapidly, loudly began pecking on the crate.
“Is that my third wife?” Trembly paused at the familiar clamor. “Sandy?”
The woodpecker only had to beat on the box for a few seconds before its integrity wore out. Its walls abruptly collapsed, releasing its prisoners–kids, lions, and former presidents alike.
“Yes! We’re free!” Steven cheered.
“Drat! We didn’t fit through the hole!” Trembly scowled. “Let’s rebuild the box and try again!”
“What? No!” Pacifica scoffed, leading the way to the door. “We have to get out of here, you old basketcase!”
“Also good!” Trembly concurred.
Fortunately, the door to the cargo train was unlocked. But as the door swung open, Durland just so happened to be passing by to get a bucket of ice. As soon as he spotted the escapees, however, he dropped it in shock and called for his partner. “Blubs!”
Not wanting to get captured again, the group quickly slammed the door in the deputy’s face and ran in the opposite direction. They were left with no other option than to flee to the top of the train, though they didn’t get very far before Blubs and Durland managed to catch up to them.
“T-there… is no… escape!” Blubs exclaimed, trying to catch his breath after such a hurried chase. “Oh… I gotta take a knee…”
“Are you okay?” Durland asked him, concerned. “Can I get you anything?”
“Edwin, darlin’, you are a diamond in the rough,” Blubbs warmly grinned at the deputy.
“Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?” Dipper asked.
“I’ve got no choice!” Blubbs said. “Our orders come from the very top.”
“B-but we won’t tell anyone!” Connie protested. “We promise!”
“Oh, we know you won’t,” the sheriff shook his head. “Because where you kids are going, there won’t be anyone to tell.”
“Well, at least that’s the bright side of all this…” Pacifica muttered, mostly to herself.
“Oh man, what do we do now?!” Steven asked, panicked.
“The only thing we can do,” Trembly said, his tone deadly serious. “We must leap off this locomotive and hope that the wild ocelots will be there on the ground to catch us!”
Everyone paused for a beat to stare at the former president in light of such a downright odd suggestion. Lion soon cut in with a sudden, loud roar as he reared low in front of Steven once more. The others all gasped when the feline’s eyes and mane both began to glow white, and they were even more taken aback when something began to slowly emerge from his forehead. The pink, thorn-printed hilt of… something .
Whatever that something was, Steven knew he had to take the opportunity Lion was giving him. He grabbed a hold of the hilt, though he struggled to pull anything out until Connie, Dipper, and Mabel joined him. Pacifica took a nervous step back while Trembly stood by, fascinated as the kids ultimately pulled a large, light pink blade out of Lion’s head together.
“You have a sword in your head?!” Steven asked Lion, dumbfounded. “Why don’t you tell me you can do these things you do?!”
“Ah, yes! Why didn’t I think of this?” Trembly grinned excitedly. “After all, everyone knows that lions are the best place to store one’s weapons!”
“...This has gotta be a dream,” Pacifica shook her head, incredulous. “It’s gotta be. There’s no way any of this is actually happening, it’s way too insane and weird and stupid -”
Her concerns were lost on the other kids as they continued clinging onto the sword. They realized they might just have the edge they needed, however, when they noticed the cops shrink away from their shared blade. “Um, stay back!” Dipper exclaimed as brazenly as he could. “We have a sword!”
“Oh no! Blubbs, what do we do?!” Durland cried, cowering behind his partner. “They have a sword!”
“I-I don’t know!” Blubs shook his head, just as terrified. “We weren’t briefed on what to do about kids with lethal weapons!”
“Uh, what are we going to do with this thing?!” Connie asked in a nervous whisper.
“I… have no idea,” Steven frowned at the sword. “I don’t really have any sort of plan, do you, Mabel?”
“I’m totally stumped,” Mabel shrugged. “But I gotta say this sword is the prettiest one I’ve ever seen! I don’t know if that helps, but I just thought I’d throw that out there.”
“It really doesn’t help,” Dipper rolled his eyes. Even so, her pointless comment–or more specifically, the silliness of it–did happen to give him an idea. “Wait! Maybe we don’t even need the sword. Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation?” he asked the former president.
“No, sir. I ate a salamander and jumped out the window,” Trembly proudly said.
“Then technically you’re still legally President of the United States, right?” Dipper turned back to Blubs and Durland with a confident grin. “You’ve gotta answer to this guy now!”
“Huh?” the cops paused, sparing a surprised glance. Still, Trembly hardly needed any prompting to issue his latest presidential proclamation.
“As president of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend that none of this ever happened!” he ordered. “And go on a delightful vacation.” No sooner had he finished saying this than the train happened to pass under a metal rail. While everyone else ducked under it, Trembly was struck cleanly on the back of his head by it. “Ow! Mmm yes!”
“Vacation?” Blubs turned to Durland with a growing grin. “What place have you always wanted to visit?”
“Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan!” they both proclaimed in happy unison. Fortunately for the kids, they didn’t need any further convincing to abandon their mission and set off on their dream vacation.
Under the president’s orders, of course.
After disembarking the Washington-bound train, Blubs and Durland were more than happy to board one headed for Michigan as Trembly and the kids waved them off from the station. Not wanting to worry about anything on their vacation, the cops had essentially cleared them all as free to go, regardless of any apparent matters of national security. Even if that matter was the long-missing eighth-and-a-half president of the United States.
“Well, my young friends, you’ve all done a great service to your country,” Trembly smiled at the kids once the train had left. “And so I would like to thank each one of you, starting with you, Mabel. I hereby make you an official U.S congressman!” The former president pulled a top hat out of his overcoat and handed it over to her.
“I’m legalizing everything!” Mabel brightly declared. She fixed Pacifica with a broad, knowing smirk as she elbowed her. “You wouldn’t call an official congressman ‘silly’, would you, Pacifica?” For her part, Pacifica only let out a sullen groan, far too exhausted by this whole ordeal to even dignify her with a response.
“And you, Steven, well I must say that we would have been remiss if not for you and your majestic pink feline! And so in light of that, I present you with this rare Medal of Honor!” Trembly gave him a large, stately medal, much to Steven’s excitement.
“Whoa!” he stopped short, peeling back a bit of the medal’s “gold”. “Is this medal made of chocolate?”
“It certainly is!”
“No way!” Steven gladly took a bite. Curious, Lion leaned in to try to do the same, despite Steven’s protests. “Wait, Lion, you can’t have any! Chocolate is bad for you!”
“Constance,” Trembly addressed Connie next. “I’d like to reward you with this.”
Connie gasped as the former president handed her a weathered piece of parchment. “Wow! Is this a copy of the Declaration of Independence?”
“Even better! It’s the original copy of the Declaration of Inde pants less!” Trembly proclaimed. “I penned it myself back in ’39. It frees all citizens of America from the burden that is having to wear pants!”
“Oh… Um… thanks?” Connie said with a perplexed smile.
“And Roderick,” Trembly turned to Dipper.
“Um, actually it's-” Dipper began to correct him. The former president interrupted him by kneeling down to his level and placing a hand on his shoulder.
“You, my dear boy, are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land. So I present you with my President’s Key!”
“Wow,” Dipper took the key, genuinely impressed by such an incredible, potentially useful artifact. “Thanks!”
“Don’t mention it!” Trembly rose to stand before finally looking to Pacifica. “And last but not least… hm… say, my dear, you bear a passing semblance to an old acquaintance of mine: Natty Northwest!”
“You mean Nathaniel Northwest?” Pacifica asked, surprised. “You knew my great-great grandfather?”
“Indeed!” Trembly nodded. “‘Nonsense Natty’, they used to call him. Claimed he was a powerful wizard whose powers allowed him to eat as much tree bark as he could stomach. I have to admit, his ‘bark buffets’ were quite impressive–and delicious!”
“Aw, come on, really ?” Pacifica face palmed. As if her already sinking opinion of her ancestor couldn’t get any lower. “Not only was he a fraud, he was a freak too? Can today get any worse?”
She got her answer when a chunk of tree bark landed squarely in her hands, courtesy of the former president. “In memory of your esteemed great-great grandfather!” Trembly proudly proclaimed before taking a sharp, sizable bite of his own bark. “Enjoy it, my dear!”
“...I’ll pass,” Pacifica winced, tossing the bark over her shoulder. She shot Dipper and Connie a sharp glare when she heard them laughing at her expense, and indeed, they were practically hysterical over what the former president had just told them. Steven and Mabel, however, couldn’t help but exchange a worried frown instead. Especially when they heard Pacifica let out a small, genuinely sorrowful sigh, when they saw her hang her head and tear her remorseful sights away from all of them.
When they realized that perhaps they weren’t the only ones who were afraid of being looked down upon in shame after all.
“And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for like, three hours,” Trembly finished up his anecdote as the group made it back to Main Street. “Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk.”
“Agreed!” Mabel soundly nodded.
At the same time, on the other side of the square, Amethyst had long-since broken out of the stocks. She’d taken to trying to find a discreet way of breaking Stan out without Garnet and Pearl noticing, not that her brute force methods were having much luck so far.
“Come on!” she growled as she hit the lock with a stone repeatedly. “This stupid thing won’t budge!”
“Is this seriously the best plan you could come up with?” Stan criticized.
“Hey, I’m just trying not to get caught by the ‘cops’,” Amethyst sneered. “Just chill out. I’ll get you out of here eventually.” She stopped short, however, her rock halfway raised, when she happened to notice who was passing by. “Hey, is that ol’ Trembly?” she asked, leaping off the stockade and running off to meet him.
“Amethyst?” Stan asked, confused. “Wait! Get back here and let me out!”
By now, Garnet and Pearl were making another round through the square themselves. They stopped dead in their tracks, however, the second they spotted none other than Quentin Trembly coming their way. “Ah! Well if it isn’t my dear friends, the Crystal Gems!” the former president greeted them with a wide, cordial grin. “Fancy meeting you all here!”
Before Garnet or Pearl could even show their shock, Amethyst popped up between them, completely unbothered by just how utterly impossible this entire encounter was. “Yo, Q.T! What’s up? Long time no see, huh?”
“Amethyst, what are you doing here?” Pearl asked, disgruntled. “You’re supposed to be locked up in the stocks with Stan!”
“Hey, I told you guys that thing couldn’t hold me.”
“And as for you,” Pearl turned to Trembly next, confounded. “How are you even still alive? You disappeared well over a hundred years ago! Human lifespans aren’t that long… Are they?!”
“We solved this huge mystery and found him!” Steven told the Gems. “Yeah, it was pretty serious. You guys are impressed, aren’t you?”
“We are,” Garnet said, smiling. “I knew you four would figure out the truth about who really founded the town. Good job.”
“But that still doesn’t answer my question,” Pearl frowned. “I hate to be this blunt, but Quentin, by all logic, you… shouldn’t be around anymore… So how are you here now?”
“It was quite simple, my dear Pearl!” the former president explained. “I froze myself in solid peanut brittle, taking full advantage of its well-known life-sustaining properties!”
“Whoa, so the peanut brittle thing actually worked?” Amethyst asked, amazed.
“Rose always said it would,” Garnet nodded knowingly.
As Quentin and the Gems continued catching up, Steven, Connie, and the twins shared a smile, happy to unexpectedly reunite old friends. Pacifica, on the other hand, was nowhere near as satisfied after everything she’d seen and heard today. “So let me guess,” she crossed her arms, her sights set bitterly on the ground. “You four are gonna spill the beans about this whole coverup thing to the entire town, aren’t you?” She sighed, shaking her head in defeat. “I guess ruining my family’s reputation is about as good a way as any to get back at me for making fun of you, so fine. Go right ahead,” she shrunk in on herself as she turned her back on the group. “See if I care,” she muttered morosely, making it very clear just how much she actually did .
The other kids fell silent at this, looking to each other with newfound uncertainty. They’d come so far to find the answers they’d uncovered; to not reveal them after all of that would be unthinkable. To not share the truth with a town that deserved to know its real origins would be unfair. To not revel in their hard-won victory over the very girl who’d made them feel so small and insignificant would be a waste. And yet…
“Actually…” Mabel began. She frowned down at the coverup document in her hands, already on the verge of making a decision. But what happened next only served to solidify that decision even more.
“Pacifica Elise Northwest!”
Pacifica froze, tensing up in alarm as she spun around to find her parents hurrying her way. And from the looks on both of their faces, they were far from pleased. “Where in the world have you been all day?!” Preston scolded. “You’re supposed to be here, representing your family before the unwashed masses, not wasting Pioneer Day gallivanting off to who knows where!”
“Uh, I-I was just-”
“And what on earth happened to you?!” Priscilla cut her off, scandalized. “You let your dress get soiled– ruined– as if you forgot how much it cost to import the incredibly rare fabrics it took to make it! And I don’t even want to comment on the state of your hair.” Pacifica cringed as she tried smoothing her locks, left wild and unruly from the chaotic events of the day. Not that it did much good in the eyes of her notoriously vain mother.
“The fact that you’d honestly stand out here in public looking like that is appalling,” Preston staunchly agreed with his wife. “Much less among the likes of such… low class rabble,” he eyed the other kids disparagingly, disapprovingly. “Come along so we can get you cleaned up before anyone starts spreading any sort of unsavory rumors. Or worse yet, before the press can snap a photo of you in such a sorry state.”
Pacifica could only obediently nod, rubbing her arm as she began to follow her parents as they swiftly walked away. At least until Mabel grabbed her by the arm to stop her.
“Pacifica, wait.” She took one last glance at the coverup document before, in one swift move, she tore the page clean in half.
“What?” Connie started, aghast.
“Mabel!” Dipper protested, just as shocked.
For her part, however, Mabel largely ignored them in favor of offering Pacifica a small, reassuring smile instead. “We won’t tell anyone about your great-great grandpa. Your secret’s safe with us.”
“R-really?” Pacifica asked, bewildered. “But… I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t you?”
“‘Cause we’ve got nothing to prove,” Mabel shrugged, still smiling. “After everything that’s happened today, I’ve learned that being silly is actually awesome !”
“Yeah!” Steven eagerly agreed. “Who needs Serious Steven when I can just be the Steven I was always meant to be: Silly Steven!”
“Besides,” Mabel continued. “It seems like what people think about you and your family is really important to you, just like being silly is important to me and Steven. We didn’t let you ruin that for us, so we’re not gonna ruin that for you.”
For a long moment, Pacifica was far too stunned to say a single word. Instead, she simply looked between the four of them, wide-eyed and wondrous, as if she was trying and failing to figure them out. In the end, all she really could do was shake her head, lost in the mystery that was, well, the “Mystery Kids”. “I… I don’t know what to say…”
“You could try with thanks,” Steven suggested with a small, sincere laugh.
Pacifica hesitated, ultimately biting the word out as if she didn’t want to say it. Which, by all accounts, she really didn’t, but still. But still . “T-thanks…” she managed, softly and sincerely. And yet, as she turned to leave, she couldn’t help but offer them all one final, almost astonished look all the same.
“Pacifica!” her father’s sharp call swiftly snapped her out of it.
“Coming!” she returned. But not before that last look suddenly shifted into, of all things, a smile .
Steven and Mabel returned that smile as they watched her run off. Dipper and Connie, however, couldn’t come close to sharing it. “Are you guys serious ?” Dipper asked, incredulous.
“Um… no?” Steven shrugged. “Isn’t that kind of the whole point?”
“How could you just destroy the evidence of the coverup?” Connie elaborated with an indignant huff. “After how Pacifica treated you guys earlier, she deserved to be just as embarrassed as you both were. But you instead, you just let her off the hook? Why?”
“Because I’m not so sure she did deserve it,” Mabel said, frowning. “She was mean to us, yeah, but… did you see how her parents were acting? It kinda explains where at least a little of that meanness was coming from.”
“And besides, it’s like we said,” Steven added. “No matter what anyone says, we don’t need to be ashamed of being silly; it’s just who we are! And well, I think who we are is pretty great!”
Despite their misgivings, Dipper and Connie couldn’t help but fold into a set of agreeing smiles at this. The sweetness of the moment was soon interrupted by Trembly as he bid the Gems a bizarre farewell (by ‘hopscotching’ away from them) to rejoin the kids instead. “Children, I am needed elsewhere,” the former president informed. “But just know that I’ll always be right here… on the negative twelve dollar bill.” Trembly pulled out said dollar and handed it to Dipper.
“Whoa,” he stared down at it, both impressed and underwhelmed all at once. “This is… worthless.”
“It’s less than worthless, my boy. Trembly away!” Without any further ado, the former president performed a magnificent leap and landed backwards on a nearby horse. The horse reared up on its hind legs before it ran off, galloping away with Trembly until they were both out of sight.
“Bye, Mr. President!” Steven called after him, waving.
“Where do you think he’s going?” Mabel asked.
Dipper offered a guess that’d be all too in-character for the silliest president the states had ever seen. “I’m gonna say… off a cliff.”
“And then Soos came by and talked to me for like an hour!” Stan recounted when the kids and the Gems came by to visit him in the stocks. “And Amethyst wasn’t any help, what with her crazy ‘escape plans’.”
“Hey, I tried!” Amethyst argued. “And I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn’t been for you guys,” she scowled at Garnet and Pearl.
“Well, clearly we learned that capital punishment doesn’t do anything for you, Amethyst,” Pearl crossed her arms. “But we wouldn’t have to implement such measures if you would just behave !”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
“Aw, poor Grunkle Stan! You’ve been through so much!” Mabel crooned, sympathetic.
“So, um, can we let him out now?” Dipper asked Garnet and Pearl.
“I don’t see why not,” Garnet shrugged, apathetic.
Fortunately, Dipper had just the tool on hand to do exactly that. He pulled out the President’s Key, which somehow perfectly fit in the stockade’s lock, true to Trembly’s word. “What do you know? It actually worked!” he grinned, pleasantly surprised.
Stan, meanwhile, rubbed his sore wrists and stretched his back out as he finally stood out of the stocks, curiously eyeing his niece all the while. “So what’s with the top hat?”
“I am a congressman!” Mabel proudly proclaimed.
“Pardon me?”
“You’re officially pardoned.”
“It’s so great how nicely everything turned out in the end,” Steven piped up, grinning. “You know, I think I feel a song coming on!”
“Yeah, Ste-man!” Amethyst cheered him on as he pulled his ukulele out and tuned it.
“Please, don’t,” Stan tiredly protested. In the end, however, nothing could stop the cheerful tune that inevitably ensued.
“Ohhhhhhh, that’s the end of another day! It was mighty serious, I have to say,” he sang excitedly. “Connie, Dipper, Mabel, and Steven too, we all looked really cool--when we found the eighth-and-a-half president of Americaaaaa!”
Steven ended with a bright flourish on his ukulele as he joined the others in a bout of warm laughter. “Nice song,” Connie commented with a smile.
“Geez,” Stan flatly looked between Steven and Mabel. “You two runts are never gonna make sense, are you?”
“No, we’re not, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel said, earnest. Likewise, Steven happily nodded his agreement, content for both of them to stay as silly as they pleased. “No we’re not. Mabel away!”
Without any warning, Mabel jumped backwards as a callback to Trembly’s earlier retreat. Steven didn’t hesitate to join her, laughing all the while, even as they both landed with a resounding, clumsy crash. “We’re fine!”
Notes:
Next time... the Universes and the Pines take to the stars... Or do they?
Chapter 14: Space Race
Summary:
Steven, Dipper, and Mabel decide to help Pearl see the stars again, only for their starbound mission to quickly get out of hand once the very Gem they're trying to help gets involved.
Notes:
Back with another quickie! I always liked this chapter in old UF, so I didn't really see a need to change too much of it, aside from a few alterations here and there. Still, I think it turned out pretty nicely. With all that outta the way, let's build ourselves a spaceship and get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
SAWCCK AZN LD AKQ XVZ IZT SVEJZ
RJKI MCOW ZCGW NOW HGU'B VG IO HEJ
“Whoa…” An awestruck gasp rose up from the kids the second the light surrounding the warp pad faded. The Gems had agreed to bring them along on their latest mission following their successful quest to reclaim the waterfall. Upon seeing how well Steven, Dipper, and Mabel had handled themselves then, they had few concerns about letting them come on this reconnaissance mission. In no small part because it would be simple, short, and most of all, safe .
“Welcome to the Galaxy Warp!” Pearl proclaimed, stepping on the pad first. Surrounding it was a vast collection of other warps, all damaged in some way or another as they sat upon a shimmering platform raised high above the open sea. “This hub was once used by Gemkind to quickly travel to and from Earth in a matter of mere minutes. Impressive, isn’t it?”
“Yeah…” Mabel grinned, stars in her eyes. “And sparkly !”
“To and from Earth…” Dipper echoed thoughtfully. “You mean from Homeworld, right?”
“Er… yes,” Pearl tensed ever so slightly. Behind her, Garnet and Amethyst exchanged a silent, apprehensive glance. “But they also used these warps to travel across the Earth more efficiently and-”
“How many Gems were on Earth back then anyway?” Dipper pressed, unable to quell his rising curiosity. Not now, not that he had the knowledge that the Gems were literal, actual aliens . “What were they doing here? And where’d they all go?”
“Dipper,” Garnet spoke up, but her warning went largely unheard. Just like how Pearl slipping her hands over her mouth went largely unnoticed.
“What’s Homeworld like?” he asked, narrowly resisting the urge to pull a pen and notepad out of his backpack. Despite the fact that he’d asked far more questions than he’d gotten any actual answers so far. “Is there still some way to get there–you know, aside from straight up flying there like Lapis did?”
“Uh,” Amethyst finally piped up, cringing all the while. “Why’d you even wanna go there in the first place, dude? From what I’ve heard, Homeworld is a total drag .”
“Why wouldn’t I–because it’s a completely different planet, duh!” Dipper exclaimed, as though it was obvious. “Why wouldn’t I want to go there?”
“Yeah!” Steven chimed in with a wide grin. “I bet it’s full of all sorts of other Gems who are just as cool as you guys are!”
“Trust us,” Garnet said staunchly, sternly. “It’s not.”
“Huh?” Steven exchanged a confused glance with Dipper. “But-”
“H-here’s an idea!” Pearl suddenly chimed in with a stressed smile spread wide across her face. “Why don’t we stop talking about Homeworld for a while and instead we focus on what we actually came here to do?”
“Ok!” Mabel agreed much easier than either of the boys wanted to. “Uh… what did we come here to do, again?”
“Eh, just to check if these things are still all busted or not,” Amethyst shrugged.
“That’s why I brought these!” Steven held up a stack of Crying Breakfast Friends stickers. “They’ll help us keep track of the ones we’ve checked and they’re scented!”
“Why do we need to check out all of these warp pads anyway?” Dipper asked as he gave one of the pads an experimental knock.
“It’s just something we like to do every few centuries,” Pearl explained. “Think of it as a… security inspection. We’re going to make sure that all these warp pads are inactive.”
“So… they aren’t supposed to work?”
“No,” Garnet answered simply.
“But why-”
“Ugh, geez ,” Amethyst cut Dipper off with an annoyed groan. “You wanna can it with all the lame questions already? I swear, you’ve asked like, a million of them since we got here.”
Dipper let out an indignant huff. While his tide of questions was stemmed (for now), he still couldn’t stop himself from quietly, bitterly muttering to himself, “Well, maybe I wouldn’t have to ask so many questions if somebody would finally answer them…”
“This one’s inactive!” Amethyst announced after trying and failing to warp on one of the pads. Steven rushed over to slap a sticker on it, officially marking the pad as unusable.
“Oh man, I hope I have enough of these left,” he fretted, counting over his small stack again. “I already used most of them decorating Lion’s mane. He just ended up eating most of them…”
“Well, then it’s a good thing I always carry some of these on me!” Mabel smirked as she pulled out her own collection of Crying Breakfast Friends stickers.
“Mabel, how are you always so prepared for things like this?” Steven asked, relieved.
“Eh, it’s a gift.”
“Inactive,” Garnet called as she checked another pad, prompting Mabel to put a sticker on it.
“Inactive,” Pearl frowned from her spot on a different one.
“Do we have to check all of them?” Amethyst asked, crossing her arms. “They’re all still inactive, like always. Nobody would even be able to fix them anyway.”
“We need to make sure,” Garnet asserted.
“Why?” Dipper asked. He ignored Amethyst’s aggravated sigh somewhere behind him in favor of posing yet another question anyway. “Wouldn’t this be, like, your one way of getting back to Homeworld?”
While Amethyst had long-since turned her back on this conversation, Garnet simply stayed silent, her lips pressed into a thin line. That left Pearl to supply an answer this time; or rather, to once again lead them away from the topic of Homeworld altogether. “Er… well…” she looked away awkwardly. “That and… other Gem-controlled planets all over the universe.” She finally managed a small smile as she stole a glance up at the endlessly starry skies high above the Galaxy Warp. “We would use them to travel to so many distant worlds, each more unique than the last…”
“Oo, like Pluto? Or Uranus?” Mabel asked, oblivious.
Pearl winced, uncomfortable. “Um…”
“If we can’t go to Homeworld, can we use one of these warp pads to go to a different planet?” Steven proposed. “Please? Pretty please?”
“Uh, we could do that,” Amethyst cut in. “If they weren’t all busted.”
“It’s true…” Pearl sighed. “The galaxy warps have all been inactive for thousands of years.”
“Can’t we fix them?” Steven asked.
“No,” Garnet quickly, firmly replied.
“Boo!” Mabel stuck her tongue out. “Why not?”
“Cause it’s just like I said earlier,” Amethyst said. “Nobody knows how to fix up these dumb old things, right G?”
Garnet only nodded as she began making her way back over to the only functional warp pad, their mission now complete. While Amethyst hurried to follow her, Pearl hung back, still gazing up at the night sky as she let out a soft, wistful sigh.
“Are you ok, Pearl?” Dipper asked as he turned back to her. Likewise, Steven and Mabel stopped short, sharing his concern.
“Oh, I’m fine,” she let out a small, fake chuckle. “I’ll always have my memories of other worlds. But now I’m here… on Earth… forever…”
“With us!” Steven exclaimed, smiling.
Pearl’s already faint smile withered even more as she looked away from the trio. “Right. With you. Still, it really is incredible out there…” She sighed again as she lifted her sights to the skies again, to the stars she’d once traveled between so freely, all so close… and yet so very far all the same. “I wish the three of you could see it…”
“Stay tuned for another episode of Crying Breakfast Friends!”
“Ok, you guys,” Dipper began as soon as the commercial break began. He glanced back at Steven and Mabel as they sat together on the former’s bed, happily enjoying the bizarrely depressing cartoon. “We’ve been watching this show for several hours now, and I still don’t really understand what either of you see in it…”
“Dipper, Dipper, Dipper…” Mabel shook her head. “Can’t you appreciate fine art when you see it? Crying Breakfast Friends is the best modern cartoons have to offer!”
“If this is the best there is, then cartoons are kind of in trouble,” Dipper muttered, critically eyeing the incoherently sobbing foods on screen.
“You gotta admit that it is pretty relatable,” Steven countered. “Like in that last episode for instance. Seeing how much Sad Apple wanted to go home reminded me of Pearl missing space at the Galaxy Warp yesterday. She seemed really upset about it…”
“Who can blame her?” Mabel reclined back on the bed. “I’m all bummed out about it too. Going to space would be so awesome!”
“It would be, but you heard what the Gems said,” Dipper shook his head. “We can’t go anywhere as long as all those warp pads are broken. As if they’d even let us go, even if we could…” He finished a touch more quietly, a touch more crossly.
Steven heaved a heavy, disappointed sigh. “I wish there was something we could do to help Pearl see space again,” he said, frowning. “If only there was some other way we could get to space…” He gasped, hopping off the bed as a sudden idea struck him–a rather brilliant one at that. “Wait! That’s it! Dipper, Mabel, let’s build a spaceship!”
“What?!” Dipper asked, taken aback. “Steven, we can’t just build a spaceship.”
“Why not?”
“Yeah, why not?” Mabel added. “It’ll be fun!”
“And completely impossible ,” Dipper crossed his arms. “I don’t know if you guys know this, but it takes a lot to build a spaceship. We’d need several years, at least , plus a ton of resources that we probably wouldn’t be able to get because we don’t have any money to buy them, and the list goes on.”
“Oh, come on, Dipper!” Mabel protested, pouting. “We could totally do it! After all, nothing is impossible if you work hard and set your mind to it! I read that on a cat poster once.”
“I really don’t think that saying applies to everything, Mabel,” Dipper deadpanned. “Especially something as huge as building a spaceship.”
“Yeah, but people have built spaceships before, and we’re people!” Steven pointed out.
“You can’t argue with that one, bro-bro,” Mabel playfully elbowed Dipper.
“And Pearl would love it so much to see space again!” Steven zealously continued. “We have to at least give it a try for her. Think of how amazed she’d be if we built an entire spaceship, just for her!”
As soon as the pair struck him with a set of pleading smiles, Dipper’s resistance to their idea quickly fell apart. Even if he knew there wasn’t a chance that idea would actually work. “Fine, I’m in,” he said, despite his better judgement. “But if you guys are really serious about this, then we’re gonna need some help. We’d have a hard time trying to build this thing by ourselves.”
“I’m way ahead of you on that one, Dipper,” Steven said, resolved. “In fact, I just so happen to know not one, but two people who would love to help us!”
“So, wait…” Stan glanced up at the stack of money he was counting through at his desk. “You munchkins want me to help you build a… what exactly?”
“A spaceship!” Mabel reiterated cheerfully.
Stan stared at the trio for a long time, his expression awash with both confusion and disbelief. “A spaceship, huh? Alright, which one of you two came up with this harebrained idea?” he asked, looking between Steven and Mabel.
“Grunkle Stan, how do you know I didn’t come up with the idea?” Dipper asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Because you’re not that creative or crazy,” Stan said bluntly, ignoring his nephew’s disgruntled scowl. “Now, what makes you kids think I know anything about spaceships? I’m not exactly a rocket scientist, ya know.”
“But you build all sorts of cool attractions for the Mystery Shack, Mr. Pines,” Steven pointed out. “I’m sure you could come up with a really neat idea for a spaceship if you wanted to!”
“Yeah, well I don’t,” Stan said, turning his nose up at the kids. “And even if I did, I have better things to do with my time than work on some crazy pipe dream. Instead of bothering me with this spaceship thing, why don’t you three get some boring brainiac to help you? Like Pearl, for instance. She’s into nerdy stuff like that.”
“Well, we would, but we’re actually planning on doing this for Pearl,” Mabel explained. “She’ll be so excited when she sees the giant, beautiful, spaceship we’re gonna build for her! And once it’s done, we’ll all get in it, and we’ll fly into space, and we’ll visit a bunch of other planets, and we’ll have so much fun, and we’ll-”
“Ok, Mabel, that’s enough!” Dipper cut her off. “Long story short, Grunkle Stan, we’re doing this so we can help Pearl see space again.”
“Oh, well that changes everything ,” Stan threw on a wide, fake smile. “You should have mentioned this was for Pearl. That definitely makes me want to help.”
“Really?” Steven asked, surprised.
“Of course not, kid!” Stan’s grin swiftly switched into a dry scowl. “The last thing I’d ever want to do is help Pearl out with anything, especially something as nutso as this.”
“I know you and Pearl don’t get along very well, Mr. Pines,” Steven frowned. “But I’m sure she’d really appreciate it if you helped out! And besides, it won’t be that hard, we promise!”
“Kid, do you have any idea what goes into building a spaceship?” Stan retorted. “First off, you need a bunch of money, which is something I’m not interested in investing unless I’m gonna have it at least doubled, if not tripled.”
“Well, what about space tourism?” Dipper asked.
“Space what?”
“You know, space tourism? When really rich people pay a lot of money to go on short trips into space?”
“....How much money are we talking here?” Stan asked, suddenly fully interested.
“I don’t know,” Dipper shrugged. “Thousands, maybe millions.”
That was more than enough to get Stan out of his chair, a huge grin spreading across his face at the prospect of earning untold cash. “Well, kids, I hate to say it, but you’ve sold me on this spaceship thing. I’ll help you build it, but only if you let me use it for this ‘space tourism’ thing. If this scheme takes off, then I could retire early and buy my own island!”
“You got it, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel boldly exclaimed, shaking his hand to seal the deal.
“But only after we take Pearl up to space with it first,” Steven clarified.
“Yeah, yeah, Pearl-schmearl,” Stan waved his hand, unconcerned. “What are we still standing around here yapping for? Let’s get this money-making, hunk of junk built!”
Unsurprisingly, it took far less for the kids to get Greg on board with their spaceship scheme than it had for Stan. As bewildered as he was by their proposal, he still drove the group all the way out to the countryside to somewhere they’d have plenty of space and supplies to get started. An old barn in the middle of nowhere, filled to the brim with all sorts of untold clutter.
“My aunt and uncle had a great love of aviation and each other,” Greg explained, nodding to the portrait of his relatives hanging from the barn’s far wall. “They cherished the years they spent together and they held onto every belonging they ever owned—kinda like me and my storage shed… I’m starting to think our family has a problem…”
“Ya think?” Stan kicked a nearby airplane rudder. “If I were you, Greg, I would have sold all of this junk for scrap metal years ago.”
“Aw, I couldn’t possibly,” Greg said, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s all precious family heirlooms.”
“Yeah, ‘precious’,” Stan rolled his eyes as he glanced over at a busted TV.
“Dad, this stuff is so great!” Steven excitedly exclaimed. “I hereby declare this barn to be Universe, Universe, Pines, Pines, and Pines Space Travel HQ!”
“So… UUPPP?” Dipper asked, smirking.
“Yeah!”
“Oh, I’m so excited!” Mabel bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. “I’ll start sewing us all company sweaters right away! We’ll need them since I hear it’s really cold up in space!”
“Well, we might as well start hauling all of these parts out of here,” Stan turned to Greg as Mabel ran off to get her yarn and knitting needles. “But if I find something actually valuable in there, I’m not making any promises that I won’t swipe any of this stuff and resell it at the shack.”
“M-Mr. Pines! Wait!” Greg called as he ran into the barn after Stan. “My aunt and uncle would kill me if I got rid of any of their stuff!”
“And we’ll work on designing the spaceship!” Steven volunteered, grabbing Dipper by the arm. “Come on, Dipper! This is gonna be so much fun !”
Dipper couldn’t help but laugh, charmed by Steven’s enthusiasm for this project, if nothing else. “Whatever you say, Steven.”
Without any further ado, “UUPPP Space Travel” got to work. Using an old chalkboard salvaged from the barn, the boys began sketching up designs. While Dipper tried taking their endeavor seriously with charts and graphs, it wasn’t long before Steven claimed most of the chalkboard with ambitious sketches of a fantastical spacecraft soaring through the stars. After sewing her own space-themed sweater, Mabel joined them, covering her brother’s equations up with doodles of planets and aliens, much to his annoyance.
Meanwhile, Greg and Stan busied themselves with sorting through the countless parts the barn had to offer. Sure enough, Stan’s experience building attractions for the shack came in handy as he pulled their supplies together to help the kids fashion their very own “spaceship”. Or ar least, something that could be loosely called a spaceship.
Once their work was complete, Steven invited Pearl out to the barn to join them for a “special surprise”. She didn’t know quite what to expect as Steven covered her eyes and led her… somewhere. And even after she saw what awaited her, she still had no idea exactly what to make of it.
“Okay… now!” Steven took his hands off of her eyes for the big reveal.
Pearl looked up to see the sign hanging from the doorway of the barn first, before turning to the kids, confused. “‘UUPPP Space Travel?’” she frowned. “What is this?”
“Only the most amazing thing you’ll ever see,” Mabel said, beaming.
“I… somehow doubt that, but alright,” Pearl smirked, amused. “I’ll go along with whatever this is, I suppose.”
“Good, because you kind of have to for this,” Dipper said with a halfhearted shrug.
“And what exactly is… ‘this’?”
“We built a spaceship!” Steven brightly exclaimed.
“A spaceship?” Pearl asked, intrigued.
“A spaceship!” Mabel reiterated as she showed off their creation.
Pearl’s interest quickly fizzled out as soon as she saw the simple “vehicle” sitting before her. Really, it was just a long wooden box on wheels, with a traffic cone nailed to the front and crude wings taped to the sides. A far cry from anything even remotely resembling the kind of space-faring craft she was used to.
“A… spaceship…” Pearl echoed again, utterly underwhelmed.
Even so, Steven and Mabel were eager to test the vessel out. They dragged Dipper into their maiden voyage, despite his anxious protests, as they pushed their ship up to the nearby hilltop. Pearl joined the group, watching warily as Stan and Greg prepped the intrepid group of “adventurers” for their journey.
“Alright, listen up, you three,” Stan began as he finished securing a loose bolt. “Your job is to make sure this rust bucket is safe enough for customers down at the shack to ride as long as they sign a liability waiver. I don’t want any parents suing me over ‘faulty craftsmanship’ when their clumsy kids fall out of it.”
“But, at the same time,” Greg added much more cautiously. “Remember that if you kids run into any trouble out there, you can always bail. There’s never any shame in bailing.”
“There is when my next potential attraction is at stake,” Stan countered. “So don’t let that thing crash, got it?”
“Contradicting advice—understood!” Steven saluted. “It’s time to blast off!”
“Um, actually, is there any way I can bail in advance?” Dipper asked, worriedly glancing back at the makeshift spaceship.
“Nope!” Mabel firmly, cheerily exclaimed.
“Are you all sure this is such a good idea?” Pearl apprehensively looked between the kids and their ramshackle ship.
“Yeah, we are!” Steven heartily confirmed. “This is gonna be so great! Just think, Pearl: soon you’ll be able to see space again, just like you said you wanted to!”
“…Right…”
“Are you kids ready?” Greg asked. He struck a match and held it up to the sparkler taped to the back of the ship, ready to launch at their leisure.
“You bet we are!” Mabel proclaimed. “Light the engines!”
“Roger that!” Greg laughed as he did exactly that.
“Next stop: outer space!” Steven cheered, raring to go as he shuffled around in the front seat.
“Or more likely, the ground,” Dipper muttered uneasily.
“Oh, come on, Dipper,” Mabel contered, confident. “Don’t be so worried! There’s no way this ship could fail! The only place this thing is going is up !”
Before Dipper–or Pearl for that matter–could protest any further, Stan gave the vessel a sudden shove with his foot. “Welp, there ya go!” he announced over the kids’ shared surprise. And just like that, the test flight was off.
The “spaceship” rolled down the steep hill, quickly gaining speed toward the wooden ramp they’d set up at the bottom of it. That ramp was supposed to give them the momentum they needed to launch the ship to the stars. Or at least it would have if this plan didn’t begin falling apart-literally.
As the tape on one of the ship’s wings wore thin, it was torn off entirely, sending the craft tilting unevenly to the side. To make matters even worse, the hull’s wooden side soon followed, along with a wheel, leaving the ship to rapidly grind against the grass.
“Uh, guys?! Now might be a good time to bail!” Dipper warned as the ship continued dangerously careening toward the equally makeshift ramp.
“No shame!” Steven shouted as he took the leap first. The twins quickly followed, and not a moment too soon either. Almost as soon as they were out, the ship struck a rock at the foot of the ramp, swiftly and violently tearing it apart.
“Whoa,” Mabel sat up alongside the boys to look over the wreckage. “That. Was. AWESOME!”
While Steven simply let out a relieved laugh, Dipper flopped back into the grass with an exhausted, exasperated sigh. Meanwhile, back at the top of the hill, Pearl could only shake her head over the ship’s doomed maiden voyage.
“Darn it! I told those kids not to crash it!” Stan scowled, disappointed.
“I… think your calculations may have been off,” Pearl dryly noted.
Greg let out a sheepish laugh. “Well, they can’t be off if you don’t do any.”
“Hm…” Pearl frowned as she looked over the chalkboard back at the barn. “These designs are… interesting.” She raised an eyebrow at Steven and Mabel’s outlandish, bizarre sketches. “I can certainly see where the initial concept derailed. Though these smudged formulas up here do seem to be onto something…”
“Oh, um, those were mine,” Dipper raised his hand, bashful. “They aren’t anything really important though; just some stuff on angular velocity and impulse momentum.”
“Impressive…” Pearl grinned, though that smile quickly faded as she turned to Greg and Stan. “I imagine you two didn’t bother to incorporate any of that into… whatever it is you helped the kids build, did you?”
“Hey, don’t look at me,” Stan shrugged. “I was only in this for the money. I’d like to see you do any better.”
“Well…”
“Pearl, you know how to build spaceships?!” Steven asked, amazed.
“I know a little…” Pearl wiped the chalkboard clean before beginning to draw a much cleaner conceptual design. “First of all, you need smooth, curving surfaces, otherwise, you’re never going to get enough speed to break through Earth’s gravitational pull. Probably swept-back wings for supersonic flight, airtight cockpit with ejector seat, and we’ll need some serious engines, or maybe rockets would be better.”
“I vote rockets!” Mabel zealously exclaimed.
“Wait… like real rockets?” Dipper asked, suddenly far more invested in this project than he’d ever been before.
“Well, of course,” Pearl nodded. “What other kind of rockets are there?”
“Rockets! Rockets!” Steven cheered.
Despite the kids’ rising excitement, none of them noticed the bewildered glance Greg and Stan exchanged behind them. “Whoa, whoa! Hold on a sec,” Greg cut in before the kids could get too carried away. “We’re not actually talking about building something like this, right?!”
“What? This?” Pearl glanced back at her design, letting out a forced laugh. “Of course not. That would be ridiculous!”
“Aw…” the kids all sighed, their hopes abruptly dashed. But only for a moment.
“I mean, yes, theoretically, it’s not a stretch…” Pearl thoughtfully continued. “You’ve got plenty of spare parts here, albeit for incredibly primitive propulsion-based space travel.”
“Then let’s do it!” Mabel encouraged as the boys nodded their agreement.
“Oh, but the idea is ludicrous,” Pearl dismissively waved her hand. “It would never work! Although… several humans, a monkey, and a dog did make it into space…”
“I heard on the radio that some doofus once had a pizza delivered to him out there,” Stan pointed out offhandedly.
“I don’t even wanna think about the delivery charge on that one,” Greg shuddered.
Pearl ignored both of them, largely in favor of her own growing fervor. “I don’t know why I’ve never thought of it before!” she exclaimed, grinning. “This could actually work!”
“Uh…” Greg began to speak up. His worries were ultimately left unheard as Pearl went on with her passionate proposal anyway.
“I hear what you’re saying, and I agree,” she took to pacing around as the idea continued to solidify itself more and more. “It would be incredibly dangerous; a fool’s errand! This couch is disgusting,” she cringed as she pulled a bit of stuffing out of the old sofa everyone was sitting on. “But aren’t the true fools the ones who don’t seize an opportunity, despite the inherent risks? And just think, kids: you’ll all be able to go where few humans have ever gone before, to see the wonders of the cosmos with your own eyes!”
“Like the moon!” Mabel readily rallied.
“And other planets!” Steven added, starstruck.
“And maybe even Homeworld?” Dipper eagerly suggested.
The way Pearl’s smile swiftly vanished the second he so much as mentioned her former home was all but lost on him, and all of the others. “Er… well, uh…”
“Alright, if no one else is gonna come out and ask, I will,” Stan spoke up. “Pearl, are you nuts ? There’s no way you, me, Greg, and a bunch of kids can build an honest-to-god spaceship outta all this useless junk, and if you think there is, then you’re even crazier than I already thought you were.”
“It’s not crazy , Stan,” Pearl crossed her arms, turning her nose up at him. “After all, anything is within the realm of possibility for those who are willing to work hard and truly set your mind to it.”
“That’s what I said!” Mabel said. “Did you read that off a cat poster too, Pearl?”
The confused look Pearl sent her way was soon interrupted by Steven. “I’m so excited, Pearl! This is gonna be even more fun than building the first ship was!”
“I’m so glad you kids agree!” Pearl clasped her hands together, delighted. “And who knows? Maybe for just a second, from a distance, I could see what’s been going on without me…” She looked to the skies once more, genuine hope taking the place of where only longing had once been. Hope to reclaim a part of her past she thought she’d never get to know again, no longer as far out of her reach as she once thought. “All right! Let’s do it!”
As the kids all congregated around Pearl to continue hearing her ambitious ideas, none of them caught the uncertain glance Stan and Greg shared. Despite their growing list of misgivings, they couldn’t very well voice them when the kids were so clearly caught up in the excitement of the moment. Especially not when Steven daringly rallied their ragtag team together as their lofty, starbound mission began anew.
“UUPPP Space Travel, go !”
To no one’s surprise, Pearl took the lead over the second build of the spaceship project. With her experience and intellect, she guided the others through a detailed inspection of the barn to pinpoint exactly what tools and parts they might need. Even if they were rather rudimentary, she assured the team that they’d be able to fashion something workable out of them… somehow.
“Oh, these will work perfectly,” Pearl smiled as she sorted through a box of old tools, picking out a drill from among them. “Greg, do you know if any of those plane parts in there are composed of any titanium or aluminum alloys?”
“Um… maybe?” Greg shrugged as he looked down at the discarded wing he and Stan were carrying. “They look like they could be made of something like that, I guess…”
“Well, no matter,” Pearl said as she continued working. “We can always strengthen the hull with carbon fiber towards the end. How are things going with that washing machine, kids?”
“They’re… going!” Dipper called as he strained to pry one of the internal parts off the old washing machine. Pearl had tasked the kids with taking the machine apart in the hopes of using some of its parts in the ship’s cockpit. Steven had already pulled off all of its dials and Mabel was in the middle of beating the back of it with a hammer when she paused and noticed her brother’s plight.
“Oh, let me get that for you, bro-bro!” She reached into the machine and easily broke the part off. “Hey Pearl, I got the twisty thing you wanted!”
“How did you do that?” Dipper asked, bewildered. “I’ve been trying to get that thing off for almost an hour!”
“I just pulled it right off,” Mabel shrugged. “What were you doing?”
“…Twisting it.”
“Well, there’s your problem, Dippin-Dots!” Mabel laughed, tossing the part up and down. “You were spending all that time wearing your brain out overthinking something that was super easy!”
Almost as soon as she said this, the part slipped out of Mabel’s hands, nearly falling to the ground until Pearl rushed in to catch it at the last second. “Careful, Mabel,” she advised, handing the part over to Steven. “We’ll need this agitator perfectly intact. It’ll make a good basis for a small-scale test propeller.”
“Can we help you build it, Pearl?” Steven asked.
“Well, of course!” Pearl beamed as she led the way back to the barn. “I’ll need all three of you to help with every stage of construction. After all, this was your idea in the first place; I’m just here to help get it off the ground. Now, who wants to get started on our first scale model?”
The kids didn’t hesitate to agree as they readily followed after her. Stan and Greg, on the other hand, were far less eager about what they’d seen so far today. “Again, I’ve gotta ask,” Stan shook his head, incredulous. “She can’t be serious about this whole spaceship thing, is she?”
“It’s hard to say…” Greg said. “I mean, she did give me this book on advanced avionics and told me to ‘study up’…”
“Yeah, well she can talk big and get the kids excited all she wants,” Stan crossed his arms. “Just as long as I get a decent kiddie ride to put in front of the shack, we won’t have any problems.”
“Eh, yeah, you’re probably right,” Greg nodded. “We might as well let Pearl and the kids have their fun. Still,” he frowned as he flipped through the heavy book she’d given him. “I really hope she doesn’t expect me to memorize any of this stuff…”
“So we have to remember to factor in both wind speed and velocity, as well as the slope of the take-off area…” Pearl paced in front of the chalkboard as Dipper jotted down everything she said. With day two of the project already well underway, Steven and Greg had driven back into town to grab everyone some lunch. Meanwhile, as Stan and Mabel continued gathering supplies, Pearl and Dipper had taken to working through a handful of complex calculations that were essential to getting their ship off the ground at all.
“Gravity will also be a very important thing to consider…” Pearl tapped her chin, thoughtful. “Dipper, do you know anything about kinematics?”
“Um… a little,” he shrugged. “Isn’t kinematics basically all about geometry and motion?”
“It is,” Pearl nodded, smiling proudly. “It really is impressive how much you know about all of these advanced concepts. From my experience, most humans your age usually have no idea how to solve parametric equations or how centripetal forces work, but you navigate those concepts with ease!”
“Oh, it’s no big deal,” Dipper let out a small, flustered chuckle. “Most of the other kids me and Mabel went to school with thought physics were boring and lame, but, I dunno, I thought it was kind of cool. So I guess I kinda just learned a bunch about it without even realizing it? I could have never guessed that I’d actually be able to apply any of it into building a real spaceship though.”
“Well, I certainly appreciate your zeal for it,” Pearl voiced her warm approval. “It’s good to know that someone else is just as concerned with the scientific side of this project instead of just the idea itself. Just think, Dipper: the equations we’re working on at this very moment will serve as the very heart and soul of our vessel! Without them, we might as well go back to that dinky little boxcar from earlier.”
“Uh, no thanks,” Dipper winced. “That thing was a disaster.”
“Agreed,” Pearl nodded. “Which is why we should hunker down and keep working on these formulas. Now, let’s see if we can configure our ship’s kinematic viscosity first…”
“Um, actually, Pearl, I do have one quick question,” Dipper leaned forward a bit on the stool he was sitting on. “If the ship actually ends up working… where exactly are we planning on taking it?”
“Well, I’d figured that much would be obvious,” Pearl turned back to the chalkboard to continue crunching numbers. “We’ll use it to explore the vast, untamed cosmos, visit star systems humanity has never even dreamed of seeing before, and-”
“Maybe even… go check out Homeworld?” Dipper proposed, as much as he knew he probably shouldn’t.
Pearl’s hand stalled mid-equation, her eyes wide as she stared straight at the board ahead of her. She quickly caught herself, letting out a diffident laugh as she shook her head. “Oh, no, no, no,” she said, wearing a smile that was a touch too wide. “That’s completely out of the question.”
“What? But why?”
It wasn’t long before Pearl’s fake smile flattened out into a anxious scowl. “Dipper, please, I’d really rather not discuss… that place any more than we already have-”
“Why not though?!” Dipper pressed, frustrated. “If Homeworld is where you’re from, then why are you so scared to talk about it?”
“I-I’m not scared, it’s just-”
“Besides,” Dipper refused to back down, not now. Not after being denied the answers he craved far too many times to count. “You guys said you’d start being more honest with us, but so far, you haven’t really done a great job at that. I mean, we had to find out that Homeworld is even a thing at all from Lapis instead of any of you! Why aren’t we allowed to know about something as basic as your home-”
“Homeworld isn’t our home!” Pearl snapped, finally reaching her limit. “It hasn’t been our home in centuries and it never will be again!”
That was finally enough to silence Dipper altogether, especially when he noticed the first hint of tears starting to form in Pearl’s eyes. If that wasn't a sign that he’d gone too far in his pursuit of knowledge, he didn’t know what was. As a result, he couldn’t quite ignore the guilt that suddenly swelled through him, along with the urge to make it right, in whatever small way he could.
So, after a long, heavy beat of silence, he finally cleared his throat and began again. “Pearl, I, uh… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s… alright,” Pearl sighed, wiping her eyes dry. “I’m just… not quite ready to talk to you kids about this yet, alright?”
Dipper nodded, knowing he couldn’t really argue with that. Whatever Pearl’s thoughts on Homeworld were, they were clearly deeply personal. With that in mind, it all suddenly felt less like a mystery he needed to solve and more like a subject he should steer clear of. If only to save the Gem he looked up to and respected the pain of having to confront her clearly complicated past.
“Still,” Pearl finally managed a small smile after another moment or two. “I have to admit, Dipper, for as… relentless as your curiosity might sometimes be, it is something to be admired all the same.” Her smile turned a touch warmer as she rested an encouraging hand on his head. “That’s exactly why there’s no one I’d trust more to help me get these numbers just right to build the best Earth-built spacecraft there’s ever been!”
Dipper quickly picked up the same smile, stars in his eyes. Because in all honesty, he wasn’t quite used to this; to being praised and affirmed for his intelligence instead of overlooked and mocked. And for that praise to be coming from someone as brilliant as Pearl? It wasn’t something he was about to pass up again in favor of questions that, by all accounts, he could wait to get an answer to. “R-right,” he agreed, sitting just a bit straighter and smiling just a bit brighter. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s get back to it!”
“Aaaaannnnd… You’re done,” Stan advised, looking over his niece’s work. Mabel let out an excited squeal as she threw her welding mask up to see that the bars had been melted together seamlessly. Yet another exciting piece of progress on the glider Pearl had dubbed “mach 2” .
“Grunkle Stan, how’d I do?” she asked eagerly.
“You did great, pumpkin,” Stan proudly patted her on the back. “And you get bonus points for not burning your hand off with that thing.”
“Yes!” Mabel cheered, waving the still-lit blow torch around in celebration. The tip of the flame only barely missed setting her brother’s hat on fire, much to his frightened alarm.
“Mabel! Be careful with that thing!” Dipper warned, taking his hat off to protect it.
“Whoops… Sorry!”
“Hey, Mr. Pines, can I give that blow torch a try?” Steven asked as Stan took it out of Mabel’s hands. “I want to melt things together too!”
“Sure thing, kid, but only if you do me a favor first,” Stan handed the torch over to him. “See that sandwich over there?” he nodded to the cheese sandwich sitting on the nearby workbench. “Bring that puppy over here and toast it up for me, will ya?”
“You got it!” Steven gave him a thumbs up as he retrieved the sandwich and began lightly grilling it.
“Yeah, that’s right,” Stan said with a hungry grin. “Fry it up nice and crispy, kid. And make sure to get both sides!”
“Grunkle Stan, are you sure you should be using a blowtorch to make a grilled cheese sandwich?” Dipper asked, frowning.
“I dunno,” Stan deadpanned. “Are you sure you should be using your mouth to complain about it?”
Dipper crossed his arms, letting out an indignant huff, especially when he heard Mabel chuckling behind him. Steven, meanwhile, was in the middle of toasting Stan’s sandwich when Pearl happened to walk into the barn with a hammer and a box of nails in hand.
“Well, Greg and I just about have the chassis built,” she reported. “How’s the glider go-” She stopped short, dropping her tools when she caught sight of what awaited her. “What are you doing?”
“Um… making sandwiches?” Steven said with an awkward grin.
“With a blow torch?” Pearl asked. She fixed her sights on the one she knew was truly responsible for this blatant disregard of safety. “Really, Stan?”
“Hey, I’m just trying to get a decent lunch here,” Stan took a bite out of his grilled sandwich as he grabbed the blow torch. “Not that you’d know anything about that, what with your boycott on eating and all.”
Pearl shot him a particularly sour glare, more than ready to unleash every harsh word she had to say at him. Or at least she would once the kids were no longer in earshot to hear them. “Steven, Dipper, Mabel, why don’t you three go help Greg tighten the bolts on the cockpit?”
“Aw, but we wanna watch you guys fight!” Mabel protested.
“What?” Pearl shook her head. “We’re not going to fight.”
“Yeah, Pearl’s just gonna nag at me and I’m just gonna tune her out, as usual,” Stan said, smirking as he watched Pearl’s eye twitch out of sheer annoyance.
“Kids, just… please, go outside, alright?” she insisted, pinching the bridge of her nose.
Defeated, the kids did so, leaving only a brief, awkward bout of silence between the pair they left behind. Stan was quick to break it as he fixed Pearl with a cold, expectant look. “Well?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Go ahead and let all that hot air out of your head. It’s been a while since we’ve had a good yelling match.”
“I’m not going to yell,” Pearl said as patiently as possible. “I am simply going to speak in a very firm, very unhappy voice.”
“Pfft, might as well be yelling, if you ask me.”
“Stan, if you’re not going to be taking any of what we’re doing seriously, then why are you even here?” Pearl asked. “The kids are all dedicated to the cause and even Greg is being sincere about helping. So what’s your excuse?”
“My excuse is that all this is kind of, oh, I dunno, completely insane?” Stan scowled over at the glider resting beside them. “To be honest, I figured you would be the first one to realize that and not just jump on board to such a wacky idea as gung-ho as you did. Guess I gave you too much credit.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about this whole spaceship thing!” Stan exclaimed, exasperated. “You really don’t think you’re gonna be able to build a real one, right?”
“We’re well on our way to that point,” Pearl countered, crossing her arms. “But we’ll never get there if you keep using our tools like they’re simple cookware. Just give the torch to me and I’ll finish this framework the right way.”
“And what makes you think I can’t finish this thing the ‘right’ way?” Stan pulled the torch out of her reach.
“Do I really even need to answer that? Really?”
“You know what? Why don’t you just run back outside and hammer nails into wood with Greg and the kids?” Stan deadpanned as he lit the torch. “I’ve got this covered.”
“Wellm, why don’t you just head back to the Mystery Shack and continue fooling the innocent masses with all your tawdry sideshow attractions?!” Pearl challenged just as harshly as she reached for the torch once more.
“Oh, you mean like this stupid fake spaceship you’re having all of us build?” Stan argued, shoving her away.
“It’s not a fake spaceship! It’s going to be a real one, one that will take us to the stars, and to-”
“And to the museum in the shack, ‘cause that’s the only place it’ll ever be able to fly to!”
Pearl growled, angrier than ever, as she finally got a good hold on the blow torch. “By the time we’re done, you’ll be eating those words just like you did that disgusting sandwich!”
“Hey! I’ll have you know that sandwich was pretty tasty!” Stan pulled back on the torch, trying to pry her hands off of it. “I mean, the kid burnt it a little on one side, but it was still decent!”
As they continued bickering over the blow torch, the group outside the barn sat in silence, listening to them yelling all the while. While they couldn’t hear most of what they were saying, the sheer intensity and ferocity of their fight wasn’t lost on any of them.
“Yikes… sounds like they’re really getting into it,” Greg frowned as he pulled his hammer back from the chassis.
“Should we go in there and stop them?” Dipper asked. “They are fighting over something that spits fire , after all.”
“Eh, I’ve learned over the years that it’s best not to get in between Mr. Pines and Pearl when they have an argument,” Greg let out a nervous laugh. “Trust me; things usually get… pretty ugly when those two duke it out.”
“But they shouldn’t be fighting!” Steven exclaimed. “We’re all here to build this spaceship together!”
“Maybe we should get them a big tee-shirt and force them to wear it together!” Mabel suggested. “That’ll force them to get along!”
“I… think it might be a better idea to just let this run its course,” Greg advised. “They’ll calm down eventually. Either that or they’ll end up burning the barn to the ground… B-but hopefully that first one will happen instead.”
Those hopes were set to be dashed as Pearl and Stan’s argument only proceeded to get even louder and harsher by the second. “Stan, give me that blow torch already!” Pearl demanded, still refusing to let up. Unfortunately for her, Stan was every bit as stubborn as she was.
“Why should I? I don’t need you to do it for me! I can finish this rig on my own!”
“Like that’s ever going to happen! Just let go of it!”
“No, you let go!”
“No, you !”
“No-”
Stan stopped short the second the blow torch went flying out of his hands thanks to their struggle over it. With its tip still aflame, it flipped over both of their heads, landing on the glider’s half-finished metallic framework. It rolled down a bit from there, finally coming to land near a set of crossing pipes as the torch began to slowly fuse them together. Not that it mattered much to either Stan or Pearl.
“Now look what you did!” she scolded right off the bat. “That thing could have set the entire barn on fire!”
“Yeah, well clearly it didn’t,” Stan pointed out. “Plus, this was also your fault, so don’t stand there trying to pin all the blame on me.”
“Ugh… Stan, sometimes, I swear you act more like a child than any of the kids do,” Pearl sneered as she began to reach for the blow torch. “Which is why it’s a relief for me to relieve you of this.”
“Wait! Don’t move that!” Stan suddenly exclaimed, catching her off guard.
“And why not? It’s not like I have to worry about it burning my hand like you would.”
“It’d be a good bit of karma if it could,” Stan scowled at her as he rushed for the blow torch himself. “But look at where that thing landed; that’s the perfect place to fix those two bars together. It’ll make the framework much more stable.”
“Please,” Pearl rolled her eyes. “That couldn’t be any further from my calculations. Why, its-” She took pause when she looked for herself, her jaw dropping when saw that the positioning of the bars was actually ideal for the glider. “You… you’re right… H-how did you know that?”
“Because maybe I might just know a thing or two about this sort of stuff myself,” Stan informed her pointedly. “Not that you’d think so, Miss ‘Supersonic Flight and Ejector Seats’.”
For a moment, Pearl could only stand by, dumbstruck, as she watched Stan finish off the weld job with a level of skill she could have never anticipated. Every position he pinpointed was practically perfect, lining up exactly to make the glider as aerodynamic as possible. And all without the need to do so much as a single equation or consult a single blueprint. “How… are you doing that?” she finally decided to ask.
“What, welding?” Stan scoffed. “It’s not that hard. Would’ve thought you’d already known for just how much you wanted to nab this thing from me-”
“No, I mean… How do you know where to attach the cross beams?” she pressed, still baffled. “You can’t just be guessing; everything here is far too spot-on for that to be the case. So… how…?”
“Like I said,” Stan didn’t bother glancing back at her as he continued his work. If only to keep her from seeing the way his hand tensed around the blow torch, the way the shadows around his eyes darkened. The way 30 years of forcefully-learned experience was coming in handy in such a surprising way. “I might just know a little more than you think.”
“I-I… yes.” This time, Pearl was the one to catch him off guard when she actually agreed with him. Something that, to his knowledge, hardly ever happened. “It appears that you do.” She cleared her throat as she slowly knelt down beside him to help him secure the rig. “I… suppose I owe you a bit of an apology. I think I might have blown things a bit… out of proportion.”
“Ya think?” Stan retorted.
“I mean, maybe you’re right,” Pearl continued, shrugging. “Using a blow torch to heat up a sandwich really isn’t that bad, I suppose.”
It took Stan a moment to realize Pearl’s angle here. To realize that she was actually being genuine with him for a change. It was a side of her he’d never seen before, something drastically different from every other bitter argument and heated interaction they’d ever had before. And, despite the age-old resentment he still wanted to cling onto, Stan slowly found himself deciding to meet her halfway.
This time, anyway.
“Ya know…” he glanced away after he passed the torch back over to her. “I could fry you up your own sandwich using that, i-if you wanted one, that is.”
“I would take you up on that offer, Stan, but I don’t eat, remember?” Pearl let out a small laugh. “Still, I appreciate the thought.”
“Yeah… well, don’t appreciate it too much,” Stan crossed his arms. “Ya know, I still think you’re an annoying, naggy stick-in-the-mud and no amount of ‘teaming up’ or ‘working together’ is ever gonna change that.”
“And I still think you’re a cheap, swindling scoundrel,” Pearl countered just as playfully. “A scoundrel who apparently has a surprising knowledge of aerodynamics.”
“What can I say?” Stan said with his usual, winning smirk. “Guess I’m more talented than I seem.”
Pearl couldn’t help but laugh again, unaware of the relieved smiles resting on each of the kids’ faces as they eavesdropped just beyond the other side of the barn wall. “I guess so.”
As hours turned into days, construction on the mach 2 model steadily marched on. It wasn’t long before they had a working engine (one that, unlike all the others, hadn’t exploded after an initial test run). And, after a few more days of continued construction and final tweaks and adjustments, UUPPP Space Travel finally had something to show for all of its efforts.
Mach 2 was, according to Pearl, the ideal prototype. It wasn’t too much to look at–just a simple glider with a three-seated chassis and a surprisingly powerful engine. It was small too, to the point only the kids were able to take it for its inaugural flight in the dusky skies above the barn.
“Ground control to mach 2,” Greg called to the kids via walkie-talkie. “Come in, mach 2. How are you kids doing up there?”
From their spot in the sky, the kids were only able to answer with a mix of exhilarated and terrified screams. Still, mach 2 cut through the air smoothly and gracefully, sailing straight through the atmosphere just as they all hoped the final ship would someday do.
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Stan remarked as the kids kept on screaming. “Told ya you should have put a windshield on that thing,” he said to Pearl.
“I’ll be sure to make that a footnote on the next model,” Pearl smirked as she scribbled on her clipboard.
“Uh, don’t you guys think we’re taking this a little too far?” Greg asked, wary.
“Oh, we’re not even close to being done,” Pearl shook her head.
“We’re not?”
“How much longer is this whole horse and pony show gonna take?” Stan asked impatiently. “I’ve already had to close the shack for almost a week now because of all this!”
“I can assure you both that it will all be worth it in the end,” Pearl assured before she addressed the kids through her headset. “Ok, you three. Go ahead and bring her down slowly .”
With this, the kids began their descent, though they did come in a bit too fast. Fortunately, they managed to avoid injury as the prototype screeched to a rough landing on the ground, ejecting its passengers safely onto the ground nearby.
“Mabel, she said bring it down slowly,” Dipper eyed his sister critically.
“Sorry! I just got excited and I couldn’t help it!” Mabel grinned. “That was so amazing!”
“It so was !” Steven exclaimed. “We were-”
The sound of a sudden explosion quickly cut him off. Sure enough, Mach 2’s engine had burst into flames as the glider wings collapsed behind them. It wasn’t lost on any of them just how lucky they were that this had happened now instead of while they were still in the air.
“Woo!” Steven cheered. “Let’s do the whole thing again! Especially that last part!”
“Was it supposed to… fall apart like that?” Greg anxiously asked Pearl.
“And catch on fire?” Stan asked, suddenly concerned.
“Don’t worry,” Pearl said, perfectly calm. “This was just to test my engine concept. I’ll work out the kinks in the next one.”
“Hang on, next one?!” Greg asked, alarmed.
“You do know we only have so much useless junk in that barn to make a spaceship out of, right?” Stan asked. “We’ll run out of supplies eventually.”
“Not if we conserve them,” Pearl pointed out. “By the way, do either of you know if there’s a shop in town that carries F-1 single-nozzle, liquid-fueled rockets?”
“You really are serious!” Greg gasped. “All this time I thought we were just doing this for fun, but you really plan on building this thing, don’t you?”
“Of course!” Pearl exclaimed, as though it was obvious. “Oh, and we’ll also need a space suit for each of the kids so they don’t freeze or explode.”
“W-what?” Dipper started. “You never mentioned anything about freezing or exploding before.”
“Can my space suit be pink?” Mabel asked regardless. “And covered in glitter?”
“I want my name on the back of mine!” Steven added just as enthusiastically.
“Um, Pearl?” Dipper cut in between the two of them, frowning. “Just for reference sake, what are the odds of someone, I dunno… actually dying in space?”
“About… 1 in 100, I’d say,” Pearl estimated. “But still, it’s definitely worth it!”
“Whoa there, Armstrong,” Stan stepped in between Pearl and the kids. “You’re not taking the twins into space. Especially not with odds like that.”
“And Steven’s not going either,” Greg firmly placed a hand on his son’s shoulder.
“Aw, what?” Mabel asked, dismayed. “But Grunkle Stan, we wanna go! Right, Dipper?”
“I’d wanna go more if there wasn’t a 1 in 100 chance that we’ll die out there, Mabel,” Dipper muttered. He changed his tune, however, after his sister elbowed him hard in the side. “Ow! I mean—y-yeah, we totally want to go. And preferably, not die in the process.”
“I don’t care what you two want!” Stan shot back. “Your parents would kill me if either of you ended up freezing or exploding out in the middle of space!”
“Well, that’s not going to happen,” Pearl stood her ground. “I’m taking all three of the kids into space and nothing is going to happen to any of us and that’s that!”
“No, it's not!” Greg protested. “We’re not allowing it! This is crazy , Pearl, and you know it!”
“Crazy is just another word for brilliant,” Pearl said dismissively.
“But Dad, why can’t we go?” Steven asked, fixing his father with a pleading look. “Isn’t this why we founded Universe, Universe, Pines, Pines, and Pines in the first place?”
“Steven, you’re grounded,” Greg asserted, crossing his arms.
“What?!”
“No, I mean you’re grounded . You don’t get to leave Earth.”
“Oh. What ?!” Steven exclaimed, even more distraught by this news.
“You two can’t possibly be serious!” Pearl scoffed. “What about all of our hard work?! You can’t just throw all that away!”
“Uh, I think I can,” Stan sternly countered. “Do I need to remind you that I’m the one funding this little project?”
“But Grunkle Stan, all of our supplies are here at the barn,” Dipper pointed out. “Did you even actually pay for anything?”
“Quiet, kid!”
“Well, I don’t need your supposed ‘funding’ anyway,” Pearl turned her nose up. “We’ll still be able to build a suitable spaceship on our own, right kids?”
“No, you aren’t,” Greg contented before the kids could even try to chime in. “As C.E.O. and supreme space commander, I hereby cancel this mission.”
“Aw man!” Steven exclaimed, disappointed. “Stupid company bylaws.”
“They ruin everything!” Mabel added in equal despair.
“Hey! Who made you C.E.O.?!” Pearl asked, appalled.
“They did,” Greg nodded over at the kids. Based on the sheepish smiles on their faces, it was apparently true, much to Pearl’s already peaked frustration.
“Fine!” Pearl shouted, livid. “If none of you will help, then I’ll just do it myself! Not like it’ll be much different...”
“Pearl, wait!” Steven called after her as she stormed off. He exchanged a downcast glance with the twins, each of them realizing the exact same thing at the exact same time. Their plan to help Pearl see the stars again, however innocent and altruistic as it may have started, had ended in complete and utter failure .
“Tch, yeah right, like she’ll be able to build an entire spaceship all by herself,” Stan sneered as he walked away. “If you need me, I’m gonna head back to the shack and have Soos rig me up a real fake spaceship for the tourists, like I should have done all along.”
“Sorry, kids,” Greg sighed, trying his best to console them. Even if it didn’t really work at all. “But sometimes, you just gotta know when to bail.”
Night fell upon the barn softly, bringing with it a radiant, starry sky. Though Stan had driven back to the shack hours ago, Greg agreed to stay the night back at the barn with the kids. Tomorrow, they’d begin cleaning up from their failed project, but for now, they slept soundly in a makeshift “campsite” not far from Greg’s van. At least until someone crept over to quietly nudge them awake.
Steven opened his eyes first when he felt something lightly poke his cheek. “Wha-?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. “Pearl?”
“What’s going on?” Dipper asked in tired confusion as he sat up next to him.
“Ugh, is it morning already?’ Mabel groaned, brushing her hair out of her face. “Where are the pancakes?”
“Shh!” Pearl quieted them. She glanced over at the van to make sure Greg was still asleep before she smiled and whispered, “Do you three want to see something really cool ?”
Unsure of what she might have in store, the kids got up and followed her back into the barn. What awaited them inside, however, was far beyond anything they could have ever anticipated. “Alright,” she pushed the barn doors open with a daring grin. “Presenting the brand-new, ballistic flight capable… UUPPP Mach 3!”
The kids were stunned stiff as a sharp, equally awestruck gasp escaped them all. Standing before them was a spaceship , through and through. A far cry from any of the prototypes or test models that came before it, it stood almost as tall as the barn itself, with a strong, sturdy hull and wide, graceful wings. It truly was massive, solid, sleek, and utterly impressive in every single way.
“So?” Pearl happily took in the kids’ dazzled reactions. “What do you think?”
“Spaceship!” Steven and Mabel loudly cheered as they ran toward it.
“Wait, you two!” Pearl chuckled. “Keep your voices down!”
“Pearl, how did you build this so quickly?” Dipper asked, baffled. “I thought you said we weren’t close to being done yet.”
“Oh, well it was actually quite simple,” she shrugged. “I just reworked a few of our equations, welded the hull together, reconfigured some old plane wings, rebuilt mach 2’s engine on a larger scale and, viola! The final model!”
“I love it!” Mabel hugged the side of the ship. “It’s so big and shiny!”
“And it even has the logo from the van!” Steven laughed, noticing the “universe” label from his father’s vehicle.
“If Greg asks, we’ll just say we borrowed it,” Pearl smiled. “Now, I wasn’t able to find anything that said 'Pines’ on it, so I just wrote it on the side in permanent marker.” She nodded pointed to word “pines” out to the twins, scrawled in elegant cursive under the label. “You’re welcome.”
“Whoa, look at all the buttons!” Mabel exclaimed as she climbed into the high cockpit. “I wanna press them all!”
“Uh, that might not be the best idea, Mabel,” Dipper warned. He stole a glance at the barn’s entrance, just to make sure Greg hadn’t heard them. For as amazing as Pearl’s ship was, the last thing they needed was to be caught playing around in it after how firmly both Greg and Stan had shot the project down earlier.
Pearl, however, had other ideas in mind.
“You know, if you kids wanted… we could always take her out for an engine test…” she offered with a mischievous grin. With a quick flash of her gem, she transformed her usual outfit into a form-fitting spacesuit. “It’ll be quick…”
“Yes!” Steven immediately agreed as he clumsily fell into the cockpit. He landed alongside Mabel, who was already bouncing up and down in her seat, beside herself with excitement.
“Yes! Yes! Yes! What are we waiting for?! Let’s go right now!”
“Well, if you say so!” Pearl laughed as she climbed into the cockpit herself.
“We’re… not actually going to space in this thing, are we?” Dipper asked as he hesitantly joined them.
“What? Of course we’re not! That would be ridiculous!” Pearl scoffed. None of the kids noticed when she crossed her fingers behind her back. “Now, let’s just start up the engines and… we’ll be off!”
Despite Pearl’s efforts to keep the spaceship hidden, its noisy, powerful engines gave it away the second they roared to life. The violent rumbling they caused was enough to easily scare Greg awake. As startled as he was by all of the noise, he was even more alarmed to find his van’s tires and custom logo were inexplicably missing.
And it didn’t take him very long at all to figure out why .
“Pearl!” he shouted, rushing to get up.
Of course, she hardly heard him. Instead, she was focused on making sure all three of the kids were securely fastened into their seats for the trip ahead. “Alright,” she grinned, pushing forward on the thruster. “Ready? Here we go!”
With a loud rev of the engines, the ship shot out of the barn with a powerful boom, rocketing across the yard as it lifted into the air just as quickly. The force of the blast was enough to knock Greg off his feet as he ran behind it. He didn’t need to think twice about whether all three of the kids were on it or not. But if he had anything to do with it, and if Stan had anything to do with it, they wouldn’t be for long.
Still keeping the ascending ship in his sights, Greg scrambled to dial up the Mystery Shack, impatiently waiting as the phone rang before Stan finally picked up. “Hello?” he answered, clearly groggy on the other end of the line.
“Mr. Pines, you need to get over here now !” Greg practically shouted, watching with wide eyes as the ship disappeared into the clouds. “We have a big problem!”
“Greg? What the heck is going on?” Stan sullenly asked. “It’s 3 in the morning for crying out loud!”
“It’s Pearl. She built the ship on her own and she’s taken the kids with her! We gotta do something!”
Stan was silent for a moment, before he ultimately let out a bone-tired groan. “See, this is exactly why I didn’t want to get involved in this mess,” he grumbled. “I’ll be there in a few.”
Greg didn’t have time to thank him before he hung up. Without wasting a beat, he grabbed his binoculars and his walkie-talkie, hoping against hope that he could convince Pearl to abort this dangerous mission and safely return the kids to the ground.
Meanwhile, high up in the air, Pearl steered the spaceship with confidence. She wore a proud smile as she watched the kids stare out the window, amazed as Gravity Falls grew ever smaller and more distant the higher they got.
“Wow! Look! You can see the temple!” Steven pointed the structure out.
“And there’s the Mystery Shack!” Mabel added, just as excited.
“Mm-hm,” Pearl nodded. Her smile turned a touch more coy as she thought about how such mundane, earthly landmarks would pale in comparison to the interstellar wonders she was about to show them.
“S-so, we do have a plan in case something goes wrong, right?” Dipper asked as he gripped the sides of his seat like a vice.
“There’s no reason to be concerned, Dipper,” Pearl reassured. “Nothing’s going to go wrong. I built this ship strong enough to withstand anything.”
“Yeah! How else would she have finished it so fast?” Mabel smirked over at her brother. He didn’t get a chance to question her obviously faulty logic before the ship’s intercom crackled to life.
“Hey, can you hear me?!” Greg’s voice rang through the com, stressed and frightened. “Where do you guys think you’re going?!”
“Hey, Dad!” Steven cheerfully greeted. “Guess where we are!?”
“I know where you are!” Greg exclaimed, still watching the ship through his binoculars. “It’s where you’re going that concerns me!”
“Oh, don’t worry, Mr. Universe!” Mabel chimed in. “We’re just going on a fun little test flight! We’ll be back down in a few!”
“Uh, no. I think you’ll be back down NOW!” Stan’s voice came in through the intercom this time. He’d only just jumped out of his car, but he didn’t even need any briefing from Greg to know that this had to be stopped as soon as possible.
“Uh oh… We’re in trouble,” Dipper exchanged an anxious frown with Mabel. Because regardless of how lenient Stan may have been with them this summer so far, there was no way he’d let them off the hook for this one so easily.
“Mr. Pines, how did you get here so fast?” Greg asked, staring at his former boss in bewilderment.
“I have my ways,” Stan quickly replied. He turned his attention back to the walkie-talkie as he ordered a stern, furious order up to the passengers on ship above. “Now listen up, Pearl! You better bring those kids down here right now , or so help me, I’ll-”
“Stan, please, calm down!” Pearl evenly interrupted. “This is perfectly fine. The kids aren’t in any danger whatsoever. We’re just going to pop over to the nearest star system for a quick visit. I’ll give them back in 50 years.”
“50 years?!” the kids all exclaimed, shocked.
Their alarm was perfectly mirrored on the ground as Greg and Stan exchanged a horrified glance. “What?!” Greg shouted. “We’ll both be dead in 50 years! Pearl, you have to land the ship! Or we’ll-”
He was cut off as Pearl abruptly turned the ship’s intercom off, succinctly ending all radio communication between them. “Hello?” Greg shouted at the walkie-talkie, only to get fuzz on his end. “Hello?!”
“That’s it!” Stan stormed off, livid. “If she won’t bring that ship down, then we will !”
“H-how?!”
“I don’t know! We’ll build something to disable its engines or something! Do I look like I know how to bring a spaceship down, Greg?!” Stan retorted harshly, desperately. “But we’re gonna figure something out, because I’m not about to let that crazy broad take my niece and nephew into space for the next 50 years! Now, come on!”
Back up in the air, the kids were busy with plenty of panicking of their own. Panic that was all but lost on Pearl as she continued steering the ship ever closer to the stars. “Pearl, they sounded really mad!” Mabel worriedly exclaimed. “I don’t think we’re supposed to go!”
“You think?!” Dipper scoffed bitterly. “I told you guys this was a bad idea, but you didn’t listen, like always!”
“Pearl, I thought you said we weren’t going into space!” Steven pressed, though Pearl was hardly listening to any of them. In fact, the only thing she was paying any attention to at all was the vast, terrifyingly distant destination that awaited them above.
“Oh, this is so exciting!” she trilled as she tinkered with the ship’s controls. “You kids are going to love it up there!” Gracefully, Pearl ran her fingers along the piano keyboard she had rigged to control the engine, hitting a loud, dissonant key that revealed the primary thrusters on the wings.
“Hold on tight!” she exclaimed, pushing the ship into a sharp, 90 degree angle. As the vessel rocketed upward, everything on the ground became even more miniscule, not that any of the kids noticed. Instead, they clung on to Pearl to brace themselves against sudden intense rattling of the ship all around them.
Still, Steven was the first to take a glance out the window, only to see a piece of metal fly past the ship in a sudden blur. “W-what was that?!” he asked, though he soon got his answer as the ship’s warning alarm began to blare.
“Uh, Pearl?” Mabel asked, just as concerned. She looked out of the other side of the cockpit to see more small pieces of the ship’s exterior beginning to break off. “Is that supposed to be happening?!”
“We can make it,” Pearl said, resolved. She paid little attention to the grating, growing warning signs as she pushed the ship even harder. As she pushed herself even harder along with it. “We’re almost there.”
As the ship approached the atmosphere, more and more bits and pieces began to peel away from it. The hull was starting to wear drastically thin, to the point that its internal engines were soon left exposed as thick, black smoke began to pour from each of them.
“Pearl, we have to stop!” Dipper shouted over the ship’s endless rumbling. “The ship can’t take much more of this!”
Of course, Pearl knew that, but it hardly mattered to her. Nothing did right now, other than staying the course, breaching the atmosphere, and reaching the stars. Her eyes shone with emerging tears, but she kept her sights skyward, even as the kids desperately tried to get through to her.
“Pearl!” Steven grabbed her arm and shook it.
She responded only in a whisper, more to herself than any of the kids as she simply said: “I’m gonna show it to you…”
“What do we do?! What do we do?!” Mabel panicked over the resounding alarms.
“We gotta get off this thing!” Dipper began looking around for an escape hatch, finding none.
“Yeah, but what do we do after that?!” Mabel pressed.
“We… uh… we should…” Dipper stammered, seizing up. After all, none of the countless calculations he had worked on to help make this ship possible could have ever prepared him for something like this .
At the same time, Steven took the first option he saw. He haphazardly pulled a lever labeled ‘hatch release, sending the cockpit’s roof flying clean off. While the kids braced themselves against the high winds and frigid air, Pearl finally broke out of her obsessive trance at long last.
“Steven! What are you doing?!” Pearl gasped as she gripped the ship’s yoke tight.
“We need to go, Pearl!” Steven shouted. “We’re not gonna make it!”
“But we’re almost there!”
“Yeah, but we’ll die once we get out there!” Dipper argued as he and Mabel clung onto each other for dear life.
“But… but I-” Pearl trailed off as she looked up to the sky once more. They were so close, so close to what she’d spent centuries dreaming of returning to. To the stars, the galaxies, the cosmos and all of the wonders therein. They could do it, they could make it , she knew they could. If they could just press on just a little further-
“Pearl!” Steven caught her off guard as he forced his gaze back down to him. Pearl started when she saw just how genuinely, utterly terrified he was, how all three of the kids were. By how that terror was only there because of her . “I know you miss space and I know you worked hard,” Steven continued his distraught, desperate plea. “But sometimes… you just gotta know when to bail.”
A shaky breath slipped out as Pearl stole yet another glance at the sky. The stars shined so brilliantly up here, every bit as brilliantly as they did back when she was among them herself so long ago. Back then, the sheer beauty of the cosmos had bewildered her, inspired her, liberated her in a way few other things ever could. Being there, among the stars, the planets, the galaxies, the universe, was a feeling that she couldn’t possibly begin to describe, one that she longed to know again. Over the past several days, she’d come to want to share that feeling with Steven, with Dipper and Mabel too, to watch their eyes light up at each new discovery the way hers once had eons ago.
And yet… she knew. Perhaps from the very start, she’d always known. She couldn’t do this to them.
She couldn’t endanger them like this. She couldn’t tear them away from everything they’d ever known. She couldn’t ruin their painfully finite lives in favor of satisfying just a fraction of her own. She couldn’t and she wouldn’t . She cared about all three of them far too much to even try, which meant…
It was time to bail.
Before she had a chance to change her mind, Pearl reached down and pulled the lever under her seat. Not skipping a beat, she grabbed all three of the kids and pulled them close, holding onto each of them as tightly as she could. They made sure to return that desperate embrace as the seat ejected from the crumbling ship and began its descent back down to Earth.
They’d bailed not a moment too soon, either. Only seconds later, the ship’s failing engines finally gave out, resulting in a violent explosion that tore the entire ship apart in an instant. The fiery blast was so immense that even from their spot on the ground, Greg and Stan could see it clearly.
“No!” they both screamed, torn between horror and emerging despair.
Frantic, Greg used his binoculars to scan the skies, praying for what he hoped to somehow find and dreading the very real possibility that he wouldn’t. “Please, please, please, please, please,” he pleaded for what felt like forever until he finally spotted it. A parachute-bound couch slowly, safely floating their way. “Oh, thank goodness! They’re ok!”
“Let me see!” Stan took the binoculars. He could hardly hold back the sigh of relief that slipped out when he saw them, before he crumbled to the ground alongside Greg. “Geez, these kids are gonna give me a heart attack one of these days!”
“Tell me about it,” Greg muttered as he lay down in the grass to try and ease his frayed nerves.
It took some time for the group to land gently back on the ground. Once it finally did, Pearl hesitantly released the kids from her embrace to let Stan and Greg take over for her.
“Oh, I’m so glad you’re ok, Steven!” Greg cried, pulling his son close. “Maybe now you’ll listen to me about going on crazy space missions. You know, I feel like that’s something very few other fathers even have to say.”
“Heh, yeah, I’m sorry, Dad,” Steven rubbed the back of his neck. “Still, I think you were right. Maybe we would have been better off just building a fake spaceship for fun instead of a real one.”
“Eh, well you kids had your hearts in the right place,” Greg shrugged. “Right, Mr. Pines?”
“Sure, whatever,” Stan deadpanned. His tone turned deadly serious as he pushed the twins away from him, glaring down at them both. “But if you kids ever pull anything like that again, then I’ll make sure you two stay grounded by fixing you both up with a pair of cement shoes, got it?”
“Um… got it?” Dipper frowned, concerned.
“Aw, Grunkle Stan, you care about us!” Mabel gushed, smiling as she hugged his leg again.
“Yeah, right,” Stan shook her away. “I just didn’t want to deal with the trouble that would come my way if either of you two yahoos exploded.”
“You care about us!” Mabel cheerfully teased all the same. “You care about us!”
“Stop saying that!” Stan scowled, finally settling for letting her swing on his arm.
“Um, kids?” Pearl spoke up. She hesitated, nervous and guilty, especially when everyone–kids and adults alike–turned to look her way. “I’m so sorry. I almost got us all killed…”
“I think we’re getting used to almost getting killed on a regular basis,” Dipper said, shrugging. “Not that that’s a good thing, but still, it’s not as crazy as it used to be.”
“And Greg, Stan? I’m sorry to the two of you as well…” Pearl continued. “I… might have gotten a bit… carried away with things…”
“A bit?” Stan raised an eyebrow.
“Pearl, you nearly took the kids into orbit,” Greg pointed out.
“Y-yes, well…” Pearl trailed off, flustered. “I’m still ashamed over how I blew up at you two earlier. I hope you can both forgive me.”
“Sure thing, Pearl,” Greg said, smiling.
“Yeah, fine,” Stan gruffly agreed. “But you owe me another sandwich for making me come all the way out here this late.”
“That seems… fair enough,” Pearl chuckled.
“Pearl, we’re sorry we couldn’t help you get into space…” Steven said, looking down. “But we’ll get you there someday, we promise.”
“Yeah! And it’ll be in an even bigger, and fancier spaceship!” Mabel exclaimed. “Oh! Maybe we can even plan a quick trip over to Homeworld. Just to say ‘hi!’”
“ Or ,” Dipper cut in. “Maybe we shouldn’t .” He sent Pearl a knowing look, one that she couldn’t help but return with a grateful smile. That smile only widened as she knelt down to all three of the kids, wrapping her arms around their shoulders.
“You know, I think I’d rather be here on Earth,” she said warmly, fondly.
“With us?” Steven asked, hopeful.
“Yeah,” Pearl agreed. Because at the end of all of this, now she knew. Everything she wanted wasn’t somewhere far off in the distant stars. Everything she could ever want, everything she could ever need… was right here on the humble planet she was proud to call home.
“With you.”
Notes:
Next time, as the twins run into a little trouble, Steven makes some delicious new friends.
Chapter 15: Measure Up
Summary:
As Steven discovers the power to grow sentient watermelons, Gideon gets his hands on a size-chaning flashlight, plotting to use it to bring the Mystery Kids, Stan, and the Crystal Gems down to size.
Notes:
Oof ok so, fun fact, I got this chapter rewritten in three days and it shows! Tbh we're sort of a the "middling" part of UF, shortened down a whole lot from how it was in old UF, but we still need these chapters to further the plot along, so here we are. I still think the original version of this chapter was pretty good, so I didn't do a ton to change it. So grab some delicious watermelons and enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
SHXXYQV JCH'NE LQRXP ZF JDEMLVD CZI'EA TTPC
FLPFR'O PEIEFC ZT JWTXVDQPZB FPEOIEE JZF HO AEP
In the dense silence of a dimly lit room, small hands flipped through the weathered pages of a book filled cover to cover with secrets. Gideon fervently, furiously scanned the many mysterious entries contained in journal #2, on the hunt for one thing and one thing alone:
Revenge.
“Zombie attack? Never works, they don’t take orders. Blood rain? Ew, that’d mess up my suit. Demon caterpillars? Drat!” Frustrated, he slammed the journal shut. “There must be a perfect way to exact my vengeance on the Pines family and those darn Crystal Gems! It’s not enough to harm ‘em. I need to take somethin’ from them. Something that’ll do the Pines in… Something that’ll destroy the Crystal Gems! Something that’ll give me ultimate power…”
He pondered the problem for a moment. Whatever he was going to do, it had to be huge , sweeping to outdo take each and every one of his many foes. To get back at them for humiliating him. And most of all, to make sure none of them would ever stand in his way ever again.
And as he stole a glance at the popsicle stick model he’d made of the Mystery Shack, Gideon came up with a way to do exactly that.
“Of course!” he grinned as he held up the scale model of what he hoped would soon belong to him. “It’s perfect …”
Business was slow at the Mystery Shack, which left the Pines with little to do other than sit around the T.V., catching up on the latest reruns of Ducktective . The boring calm of the morning was soon broken, however, when the doorbell suddenly rang.
“Whelp, looks like it's showtime,” Stan stretched as he got up from his recliner. He put on his usual charming grin as he headed over to greet what he thought was just another prospective customer. “Welcome to a world of mystery!”
“Stan Pines?” the suited man at the door asked.
“The tax collector! You found me!” Stan gasped, alarmed. Without warning, he threw a smoke bomb down as a distraction before rushing back into the den. Dipper and Mabel watched, confused, as Stan frantically ripped a portrait off the wall to retrieve the large stash of cash hidden away behind it. “They’ll never catch me–or my money–alive! I won’t allow it!”
“Mr. Pines,” the businessman entered the den, cutting Stan’s escape attempt off. “I’m from the Winninghouse Coupon Savers contest and YOU are our biiiiiiig winner!”
In an instant, Stan’s panic was replaced with a huge smile, especially when the massive check for ten million dollars was brought in alongside a shower of confetti and balloons. “At last! My one and only dream, which was to possess money, has come true!”
“We’re rich!” Dipper grinned, just as excited. “I’m gonna buy a butler!”
“I’m gonna buy a talking horse!” Mabel eagerly added.
“Just sign here for the money,” the businessman handed a clipboard over to Stan.
“You bet!” The very second he finished signing, however, none other than Gideon Gleeful jumped through the giant check, more than ready to get the jump on his enemies.
“Ha! Stanford, you fool! You just signed the Mystery Shack over to lil ol’ me!” Gideon reveled in the frightened shock over the twins’ faces as he broke into a celebratory jig. Stan, however, was nowhere near as concerned.
“Uh, you might wanna take another look there,” he nodded back down at the clipboard.
Confused, Gideon looked at where Stan had “signed”, reading it aloud. “The shack is hereby signed over to… suck a lemon, little man ?!”
Over Stan’s heavy laughter and Dipper and Mabel’s relieved sighs, Gideon let out a furious shout as he tore the contract to shreds. “How dare you! I am not a threat to be taken lightly!” He paused, briefly, to reach up for the businessman’s aid. “C’mere, hon, I need your arms.” The man lifted him up to Stan’s level as he issued another vicious threat. One that Stan didn’t take seriously in the slightest. “I’ll get you Stanford Pines! I’ll get you all!”
Gideon fixed the entire family with a hateful glare as he let the businessman carry him out. Once outside, he bitterly dismissed his cronies before he began heading home to plot his next scheme, stewing in unbridled anger all the while.
“Those fools won’t be laughing when I finally do steal that shack away from ‘em,” he muttered to himself. His already simmering fury only burned even hotter when he spotted the group heading down the path just ahead of him. A group he despised every bit as much as the Pines. “Speakin’ of fools…”
Gideon was practically shaking with rage as he watched Steven and the Crystal Gems walk back from town. The bright smiles on each of their faces soon faded when they noticed who was standing just a bit further on the path ahead. “Oh, um, hi, Gideon,” Steven greeted him with an awkward wave. “H-how have you been since-”
“Since you stole both Mabel and my Levitation Charm from me?” Gideon finished, fixing him with a cold glare.
“I think you mean the Levitation Charm you stole from us,” Pearl corrected. “We may not know how you got your hands on such a powerful treasure, but rest assured, you’ll never see it again.”
“As if I even need that silly ol’ thing!” Gideon hotly shot back. “As soon as I get my hands on another one of your precious artifacts, it’ll be all over for the four of ya, I swear it!”
“You’re much too young to swear,” Garnet said.
“Ha! Nice one, G!” Amethyst chuckled as she flashed a smirk Gideon’s way. “Look, dude, we get that you think you’re all ‘cool’ or whatever for giving us a little trouble like, one time, but without that levitation thingy, you’re, uh… you know… a loser.”
“Amethyst, that’s not nice,” Steven shook his head. He managed a small, yet sincere smile as he turned back to Gideon, kindly extending a hand out to him. “Gideon, I know you don’t really like us all that much, but I feel kind of bad about everything that happened a few weeks ago. I’m sorry that we had to stop your evil plans. But… maybe we could put all that behind us and start over, as friends?”
Gideon scoffed, scarcely able to believe what he was hearing. He swiftly slapped Steven’s hand away, appalled and angrier than ever before. “Friends? Friends ?! You think I’d ever be friends with the no-account scoundrel who stole my sweet Mabel away from me?!”
“But I didn’t-”
“Listen here and listen well, Steven Universe!” Gideon continued darkly, ominously. “I’ll make you pay! I’ll make all four of you pay! Ya’ll will deeply regret ever mocking Gideon Gleeful, ya hear?! I’ll destroy you and those bothersome Pines alike! I’ll ruin everything you hold dear! I’ll-”
“Alright, that’s enough,” Garnet cut him off by abruptly picking him up. Despite his struggling and ongoing threats, she all but ignored him as she set him back down on the path past them so her team could continue on their way.
“Yeesh,” Amethyst laughed as Gideon continued shouting after them. “That kid’s a mess . He was so mad I thought his poofy hair was gonna explode!”
“Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard someone throw out so many hollow threats at us,” Pearl said, smirking.
“It was annoying,” Garnet said flatly.
“So… you guys don’t think he was being serious?” Steven frowned, concerned.
“Seriously, Steven?” Amethyst scoffed. “What’s Gideon gonna do? Sing one of his goofy little songs at us until we surrender? …You know what, that actually would be torture. Too bad he’s too dumb to think of it!”
She broke down laughing again, with Pearl chuckling along as Garnet grinned, amused. Steven, however, didn’t join them. Instead, he spared a worried glance back in Gideon’s direction, unable to shake the worried remorse weighing on his shoulders. True, Gideon had tried to destroy them all in the past. But that didn’t mean he didn’t deserve a second chance; as far as Steven was concerned, everyone did. So why then was Gideon so adamant against taking that second chance? Why wouldn’t he even consider meeting them halfway for the sake of peace?
How could someone hold onto their hatred to the point that it hurt them far more than it hurt anyone else?
Despite Gideon’s earlier intrusion, the Mystery Shack quickly fell back into a lazy, customerless kind of calm. As frustrated as Stan was by the lack of business, he still allowed Greg and Steven to stop by to keep the twins entertained as he worked on his newest attraction. And, according to Greg, he’d come with a surprise.
“You kids will love this,” he grinned as he swung the doors of his van wide open. “Ta da! Watermelons for everyone!”
Steven, Dipper, and Mabel shared an excited cheer over such a delicious summertime treat. Even Stan stopped short as he passed by, carrying a mirror under his arm. “Wow, Greg,” he said, impressed. “That’s a nice haul you’ve got there. What, did ya smuggle them out of Mexico or something?”
“Um… no,” Greg shook his head. “I just bought them from a roadside fruit stand.”
“Eh, in that case, I’ll pass,” Stan turned his nose up. “Watermelons aren’t as good unless they’re brought over the border illegally. It’s a proven fact.”
“Proven… how, exactly?” Dipper asked, exchanging a confused glance with Steven and Mabel.
“Er, ok, then…” Greg frowned as Stan headed back inside. “More for the rest of us, I guess. Eat up, everyone!”
“All right, dudes!” Soos ran over, ditching the gutter he’d been cleaning out in favor of something much more enticing. “Watermelon party!” He grabbed one of the watermelons, easily cracking it open for the kids to share. And, once everyone had a slice to snack on, it wasn’t long before an unofficial seed-spitting contest was underway.
“Check this out, kids,” Greg grinned before taking a big bite. He spit two seeds out as he reclined back in his chair, letting them squarely land on his closed eyelids. “Heh? Heh? Betcha can’t top that.”
“I bet I can!” Steven exclaimed. He took aim at the empty soda can sitting on the far edge of the porch before knocking it clean off its perch with a single seed. “Ha! Beat that!”
“Whoa! Nice one, Steven,” Dipper said, grinning.
“That was impressive, my son,” Greg sent Steven a cryptic look. “But the name of the game ain’t distance nor accuracy.”
“It ain’t?”
“No, Steven. This challenge is all about who can spit seeds the coolest .”
“Oh! Oh! I wanna try!” Mabel volunteered. After taking in a deep breath, she launched a seed straight up into the air, grinning widely as it landed right on top of her intended target: Dipper’s hat.
“Hey! Mabel!” he protested, already reaching to get the seed off.
“Pretty good, hambone,” Soos said as he finished munching on his slice. “But I think I can do you one better.” Standing up from his seat, he sat his empty watermelon rind down behind him before bending over. The others all watched as he spit three seeds out in a row, all of which slid up through the rind and flung over his head to land squarely back in his hand. “Beat that , dudes.”
Amazed, everyone applauded Soos’ show of skill and luck. Even so, Steven was ready to try again. “That was cool… but was it this cool?!” He rushed to take in several quite bites of watermelon in, before taking on a daring sort of stance. “Hurricane… spit… spiiiin!” he shouted, his mouth full of seeds. They all went flying as he spun around, landing on everything in sight, including Stan as he stepped out onto the porch. “Ha! My hurricane spin is unbeatable!” Steven’s triumphant grin quickly faded, however, when he spotted the annoyed look Stan was sending his way. “Oh… um… Sorry, Mr. Pines!”
“Honestly, I should have expected to come outside to find something like this going on,” he deadpanned, wiping seeds off of his face and suit. “Greg, what have I told you about letting your kid spit seeds all over my porch?”
“I… Mr. Pines, you never told me anything about that.”
“Well, write this down for future reference: I don’t like it,” Stan said as he picked the last of the seeds off his shoulder.
“Heh, I’ll keep that in mind,” Greg let out a bashful chuckle.
“And if you’re done playing around out here, could you maybe get in here and help me haul these mirrors around like you said you would?”
“Oh, right!” Greg got up from his chair to head for the door. “Guess this will be a throwback to when I used to work here, huh, Mr. Pines?”
“Sure,” Stan stoically shrugged. “Soos, clean this mess up for me, would ya?”
“You got it, Mr. Pines,” Soos saluted his boss as the pair went inside. “Yo, Mabel? Can you pass me that dustpan on that shelf up there?”
“I got it,” Dipper volunteered instead, already closer to it.
“Thanks, but Mabel’s taller,” Soos nodded up to the high shelf.
“What?” Dipper asked, taken aback. “No, she’s not. We’re the same height. We always have been.”
“Mm… I don’t think so…” Steven shook his head as he looked between the twins.
“You might wanna check again, dude,” Soos agreed. He pulled out his tape measurer as Dipper and Mabel stood back to back so he could properly check. Steven stood apace from them so he could confirm as the twins were measured, taking care to be as accurate as possible before he announced his conclusion.
“It’s true! Mabel’s taller by exactly one millimeter!”
“What?!” Dipper exclaimed, surprised.
“Whoa, don’t you see what’s happening, Dipper?” Mabel asked with a growing grin. “This millimeter is just the beginning. I’m evolving into the superior sibling! Bigger! Stronger!”
“Like some sort of alpha-twin!” Soos added.
“Yeah! Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!” Mabel cheered.
“Come on, guys,” Dipper rolled his eyes. “Nobody even uses millimeters. It only makes you taller than me in Canada.”
“Wait, that’s how that works?” Steven asked, confused.
“You know, Dipper, I’ve always wanted a little brother,” Mabel teasingly smirked. “Who knew I already had one?! Ha!”
“Cut it out, Mabel,” Dipper scowled, annoyed. “It’s not that big a deal.”
“No, I guess it’s not… It must be a little deal instead!” Mabel let out a laugh despite her brother’s growing frustration.
“Aw, don’t feel bad, Dipper,” Steven placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Heck, I’m even shorter than both of you guys, but only by a tiny bit.”
“Ha! Tiny! Another short joke!” Mabel cut in. “Nice one, Steven!”
“I overheard the sound of mockery,” Stan poked his head out of the door. “Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule!”
“I’m taller than Dipper!” Mabel proudly proclaimed.
“By one millimeter,” Dipper quickly, defensively added.
“Hey, hey! Don’t get short with your sister!” Stan joked, unable to contain his laughter.
“Now Grunkle Stan, I hope you don’t think little of him,” Mabel remarked just as playfully.
“Ha! Yeah! And… and, uh… he’s short!”
Stan and Mabel broke down laughing, not noticing Dipper cross his arms and glare away from them. Soos and Steven exchanged a frown when they saw this, neither of them finding too much to laugh about in all of this.
“Come on, you guys, that’s mean and you know it,” Steven admonished.
“Yeah, maybe you dudes should lay off a teeny bit,” Soos agreed sympathetically.
“Ha! Teeny! Now Soos is on it!” Stan exclaimed, slapping his knee.
“N-no, I didn’t mean that,” Soos quickly shook his head.
Even so, by now, Dipper had heard more than enough. He didn’t bother saying so much as a single word as he stormed off, refusing to let himself be humiliated any longer than he already had. Steven briefly attempted to follow, before stopping short when he heard Stan and Mabel still laughing behind him.
“Don’t you guys think you were being a little—I mean, sort of hard on Dipper?” he asked. “So what if he’s a little shorter than you, Mabel? That’s not worth making him feel so bad about it, is it?”
“Steven, you wouldn’t get it,” Mabel sighed. “Dipper always has the advantage over me in everything. Brains, grades, basically every board game that exists… But now I’ve finally found something I’m beating him in! And it feels great!”
“Yeah but… don’t you think you went a bit too far with it?” Steven asked, frowning.
“Maybe…” Mabel rubbed her arm. Still, it didn’t take her long to bounce back from it as she shot Stan a knowing smirk. “But Dipper will forget about it. He’s got a… 3, 2, 1…”
“SHORT-TERM MEMORY!” They jeered together, all but ignoring the disapproving looks Soos and Steven sent their way. Even from the far side of the shack, Dipper could still hear them, still making fun of him for something he knew he couldn’t change.
Or maybe… he could .
His train of thought, however new it might have been, was soon broken however. A sharp crash caught him off guard, one that came just shy of a watermelon splatting to the ground only a few feet away, only narrowly missing him. As startling as that was, it didn’t take long for Dipper to spot the culprit behind it.
“Um… Amethyst, what are you doing?” Dipper asked as he watched her finish tying the end of her whip around a watermelon.
Amethyst flashed a wry smirk his way as she backed away from the prize she’d snagged from the back of Greg’s van when no one was looking. “Just trying something out,” she said with a daring smirk. Without warning, she cracked her whip, letting the watermelon fly high into the air. Amethyst followed that up with a high, spinning leap as she met the watermelon in the air before brutally kicking it skyward. She landed, grinning as the fruit disappeared somewhere into the distant atmosphere above. “Cool…”
“What was the point of that?” Dipper asked, searching the sky for the missing watermelon.
“I made a bet with Pearl a while back that I could turn anything into a weapon,” Amethyst explained. “Guess I can check watermelons off as a yes. It’s kinda crazy though; those things have pretty good reach.”
“Speaking of reach…” Dipper began. He knew he would have likely been better off asking Garnet or Pearl, but he’d take what he could get, he supposed. “I was just randomly wondering if there was any, oh, I don’t know, magical Gem thing that could make someone… taller?”
“What, you mean like this?” Amethyst shapeshifted her legs to raise herself two feet higher into the air.
“Well, yeah,” Dipper said, frowning. “But I can’t really do… that.”
“Pfft, what do you wanna be tall for anyway?” Amethyst scoffed as she returned to her original height. “Tall people are boring , like Pearl. Everyone knows that the shorty squad is where it’s at!”
“Apparently it’s not,” Dipper crossed his arms. “Especially since being only a millimeter too short makes you a total laughing stock.”
“A millimeter? That’s what you’re being such a sad sack about?” Amethyst laughed. “Then clearly you’ve got other things to worry about than being too short.”
“Can you just tell me how I can get taller?” Dipper asked, exasperated.
“Fine, if it’ll get you to stop whining,” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “But you can’t tell Pearl or Garnet that I let you know about this. They’ll think I’m being ‘irresponsible’ or whatever.”
She smirked as she slid an arm over his shoulder, lowering her voice against any prying ears. “So listen up. Way deep in the woods there’s a whole bunch of these crystal things. According to Pearl, they’re leftovers from some giant magical Gem weapon that was broken super long ago. But anyway, these things can make stuff grow or shrink whenever the light hits them. Pretty cool, huh?”
“That is cool!” Dipper smiled, amazed. “In fact, it almost sounds too good to be true… This isn’t just you trying to prank me, is it?”
“Dude, if I wanted to prank you I would have told you that you can grow just by standing in the sun like a plant,” Amethyst deadpanned. “But now that you mention it, if you do get one of those crystals, I’d love to borrow it sometimes. I could pull some totally awesome pranks with that!”
“I’ll… keep that in mind…” Dipper said as he prepared to head off into the woods. “Thanks for the tip, Amethyst!”
“Sure thing, dude!” She smiled, satisfied, as she watched him go, not even noticing as the watermelon finally landed (and splattered) on the ground behind her. “Yeah, there’s no way this could turn out badly.”
Amethyst’s “directions”, if they could even be called that, weren’t much to go off of, but fortunately, Dipper found he didn’t have to. The journal also made mention of these “size changing crystals”, complete with a map on where in the woods they could be found. And, after about only an hour or two of searching the forest, Dipper found the exact spot it was pointing him to.
Sure enough, countless colorful crystals were clustered throughout the secluded clearing, ranging in size from the massive to the miniscule. The flora and fauna in the area also seemed to follow that trend, if the bizarrely tiny herd of deer gathered under an unnaturally oversized mushroom were any indication.
That alone would have been proof enough for Dipper that these crystals were the real deal, but he soon got enough more. A passing butterfly happened to fly through a ray of light cast by one of the larger crystals, instantly growing to the size of a large bird. Just as quickly, it was shrunk back down to normal upon fluttering through another one of the crystals’ rays. Even more evidence that this peculiar Gem tech, whatever it might have once been used for, was every bit as magical as all the rest.
With that in mind, Dipper made sure to take caution as he chipped one of the smaller crystals off of the much larger mass. Wanting some sort of control over its potentially risky power, he pulled a flashlight out of his backpack and attached the crystal in such a way that its beam would hit it directly. He put this new tool to the test, first using it to shrink a nearby pinecone to the size of a seed before flipping the crystal over to scale it up until it stood even taller than the surrounding trees.
“O-okay, that might be a bit too big,” Dipper frowned, nervously backing away from the towering pinecone.”Still, this is perfect!” He quickly perked back up into a smile as he looked down at the incredible, powerful tool at his disposal. “Alpha-twin, here I come.”
Of all of the reasons the Gems could have expected for Steven to call them down to the Mystery Shack, this hadn’t been one of them.
Within the span of only a few hours, the shack’s yard had become a full-on watermelon patch. The fully-grown fruit spanned in almost every direction, and while that would have been a baffling sight on its own, the exact shape each of the watermelons had grown in was somehow even stranger.
Steven was the first to truly notice it as he lifted one of the fruits up to get a better look. “Holy watermelon!” he gasped, holding it up so the Gems, Mabel, and Soos could all see. “Is this… Can it be…? They’re me ! They’re all me!”
“Whoa, let me see!” Mabel hurried over. She looked between Steven and his watermelon double, shocked to find just how alarmingly identical they actually were. “Wow! You’re right! Look at these guys—they’re so adorable!”
“Looks like you have a twin now too, dude,” Soos said to Steven. “Only you have like… a ton of them. And they’re all watermelons.”
“I know!” Steven grinned even brighter as the Gems approached. “You guys, look! The watermelons all look like me! They must have grown from all the seeds I spit out earlier. Isn’t it neat?”
“Hm…” Garnet took the watermelon from Steven to inspect it properly. “This is really impressive.”
“I suppose…” Pearl apprehensively agreed. “Your mother did have the power to grow sentient plant life in a short amount of time to act as her defenders…”
“But Rose’s plants moved and stuff,” Amethyst picked up a smaller watermelon. “These guys don’t do anything.”
“Amethyst, be careful!” Steven cautioned as he took the tiny melon. It was only about half the size of all of the rest, the runt of the patch, by all accounts. “Aw… This one’s just a baby! So precious…”
“You should call him Baby Melon!” Mabel suggested.
“Dude, that name is super clever! How’d you come up with it?” Soos asked, awestruck.
By now, Dipper had returned from his trip into the woods, only to stop short upon spotting all of the oddly-shaped melons. As confused as he was, he was grateful for the distraction; it allowed him to tuck the size-changing light away into his backpack before Mabel could spot it. “Uh… what’s going on?” he asked, carefully stepping in the spaces between the watermelons.
“Dipper, check it out!” Steven excitedly exclaimed. “I grew a whole bunch of watermelons that look just like me!”
“…Uh, good job?” Dipper gave him an awkward smile and a thumbs up. He narrowly held back a wince when he looked down to find that the watermelons really did look just like Steven, almost unnervingly so.
“Oh come on, Dipper, you should be more excited about this,” Mabel smirked as she carried Baby Melon over and sat it down beside her brother. “We finally found something shorter than you!”
As much as Dipper didn’t appreciate his sister’s teasing, he didn’t let it get under his skin. Not this time, not when he knew there was something sitting in his backpack that would change everything. “Keep laughing it up, Mabel,” he said, carefully maneuvering around the watermelons to head inside. “Who knows? I might just gain a millimeter or two someday soon.”
“Ha! That’ll be the day!” Mabel called out after him. As Dipper headed in, Stan headed out with Greg not too far behind him. Only for both of them to stop dead in their tracks as soon as they saw exactly what awaited them in the yard.
“What the heck happened out here?!” Stan only barely managed to not crush any of the watermelons as he walked through them. “Which one of you yahoos planted a watermelon field out here without asking me, or at least paying me, first?”
“Um… that was me, Mr. Pines,” Steven guiltily raised his hand. “All the seeds I spit out earlier sorta grew into… this. But you gotta admit: they are all pretty handsome, aren’t they?”
“Just charming,” Stan deadpanned, scowling as he turned to his handiman. “Soos, I thought I told you to clean up all the seeds.”
“Oh, yeah… Sorry, Mr. Pines!” Soos rubbed the back of his neck. “I kinda got distracted when you and Mabel were making fun of Dipper earlier.”
“Ugh… This is really weird…” Greg frowned as he accidentally stepped on one of the watermelons, bothered by its close resemblance to his son. “What are we gonna do with all of them?”
Steven gasped, a sudden idea striking him as he stole another glance over at Baby Melon. “We could give them away! I’m sure everyone would love to have their very own Watermelon Steven!”
“Hey, hey, hey!” Stan quickly, sharply cut in. “Why on earth would we just give these puppies away?”
“Well, do you have a better idea in mind?” Pearl asked.
“‘Course I do! I’m—I mean, we’re gonna sell them! Right here at the Mystery Shack!” Stan grinned as placed a hand on Steven’s shoulder. “They’ll be our newest hot seller. For the low price of five—no ten—no twenty dollars a pop, anyone can take home their own Human-Shaped Watermelon of Mystery!”
“Oh, that is a better idea!” Steven exclaimed, stars in his eyes.
“Glad you like it, kid, ‘cause you’re gonna be the one out here selling ‘em,” Stan crossed his arms. “Everyone around here generally ‘trusts’ you, so I figure you’ll make it an easy sell. Plus, it’s just good branding when you sell something that looks just like you. How else do you think I’m able to push so many Mr. Mystery bobbleheads in the gift shop? Folks can’t get enough of this handsome face!”
“Huh, and here I thought people bought those things ‘cause they were so freaky looking,” Amethyst snickered, especially when Stan fixed her with an annoyed glare.
“Don’t worry, Mr. Pines! I won’t let you down!” Steven saluted. “By the time I’m done, everyone in Gravity Falls will have a Watermelon Steven to love and cherish! And eat, I guess, if they really wanted to.”
“Now hold on just a minute, Steven,” Pearl spoke up, frowning. “Are you sure this is such a good idea? These are magical watermelons after all; just selling them to the regular people of Gravity Falls doesn’t sound like a very good-”
“Excuse me? Did these watermelons spring up in your yard?” Stan asked, raising an eyebrow.
“W-well, no… but-”
“Then I don’t think you have any say over what happens to ‘em,” Stan smirked as he began to lead Steven off so they could set up a table and start selling. “Now come on, kid. I—I mean, we have a fortune to make!”
“There.” Steven smiled as he finished positioning all of the watermelons around the table Stan was lending him. “That’s a mighty fine looking table, right, Baby Melon?”
Of course, Baby Melon stayed as still and silent as ever from his spot on the edge of the table. Still, Steven fondly patted his head as he took a seat and officially opened for business. In lieu of any actual customers, however, his first visitor turned out to be Mabel instead.
“Hiya, Steven!” she cheerfully greeted as she skipped up to the table. “How’s it going? Sold any of these little cuties yet?”
“Not yet,” Steven shook his head. “Would you like to be my first customer, Mabel? I’m sure Mr. Pines will let me give you some kind of dis-”
“No discounts!” Stan shouted from inside the shack. “No exceptions!”
“Boo!” Mabel yelled back. “That’s not fair, Grunkle Stan! I really want one!”
“It’s called capitalism, pumpkin! Get used to it!”
Mabel groaned as she leaned against the table, not even noticing Dipper come outside until he walked up to her and Steven. “Hey, guys,” he greeted, smirking confidently. “Notice anything… different about me?”
The two of them stared at him, confused, for a moment, until Steven let out a surprised gasp. “Wait a second… Dipper! You’ve grown an extra millimeter!”
“What?!” Mabel exclaimed, shocked. Immediately, she hurried to stand back to back with her brother, using her hand to check and see if it was true. And sure enough, much to her dismay, it was . Some way or another, they were now exactly the same exact height.
“What can I say, sis?” Dipper shrugged. After how much she’d enjoyed getting a rise out of him earlier, he made no effort to hide just how much he was enjoying doing the same to her now. “Growth spurt.”
“Yeah, well mine happened first,” Mabel countered. “And I’m gonna be taller in the end anyway. It’s science, Dipper.”
“What? But we’re the same height now.”
That hardly seemed to matter to Mabel as she shrugged just shy of launching into another round of: “Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!”
“Oh yeah?” Dipper challenged. “Something tells me that I’ve got another growth spurt coming on right now…”
With that, he turned to head back inside, leaving his sister behind to wonder what he might have meant. And to wonder how he could have grown an entire millimeter so suddenly, so fast .
“This is weird…” she said, deeply suspicious. “I’m gonna go see what he’s up to. Good luck selling your watermelons, Steven!”
“Thanks!” Steven called after her as she headed inside. “And uh… good luck to you too?”
“Steven Universe!” His attention was soon drawn away by Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland, who had stopped by to inspect his makeshift stand.
“Oh, hi, officers!” Steven brightly greeted the pair. “Would you like to buy one of my Watermelon Stevens?”
“Would we?!” Durland asked, excited. He quickly reigned himself in, however, when his partner shook his head.
“What’s goin’ on here, kid?” the sheriff asked, hands on his hips. “You got a permit for this setup?”
“Um… I don’t have one…” Steven nervously began. “But Mr. Pines is letting me sell them here, so I’m sure he does! Don’t you, Mr. Pines?” His smile fell when he was met with no response from inside the shack. “Uh… Mr. Pines?!” Upon a second failed attempt, Steven quickly came up with another plan on the fly, one that he hoped could get him out of this tight spot. “Um… Hey! How about I give you guys one on the house?”
“Mm… I don’t know…” Blubs eyed the watermelons critically. “They’re kinda weird lookin’…”
“Aw, Blub, look!” Durland pleadingly held one of the Watermelon Stevens up. “It’s got lil’ arms and legs! Can we keep it? Pretty please?”
“Oh… You know I can’t resist that face!” Blub’s resolve crumbled the second his partner resorted to begging. “Alright, kid. You got yourself a deal. We’ll go ahead and accept your bribe.”
“Yes!” Steven and Durland both exclaimed, relieved. The cops carried their Watermelon Steven off, swinging it between them as if it were a child while Steven waved them off. Even if he hadn’t really “sold” it, he was still happy to see one of the melons go to a good home. Hopefully, the first of many as even more customers began to pass by.
“Hi, Sadie!” he called her over as soon as he spotted her.
“Hi, Steven,” Sadie smiled as she stepped up to the table. “What’s all this about?”
“Just a little side project that I got going on.”
“Oh really?” Sadie chuckled. “That’s great. How’d you get such handsome watermelons?”
“Let’s just say there’s a little Steven in every one of them,” Steven said with a mysterious smirk.
“Great sales pitch, dude,” Sadie said, amused, as she reached into her purse. “So, how much for one?”
“How much?” Steven stopped short. “Oh man… What did Mr. Pines say again? They’re supposed to be… uh… I don’t remember!”
“Come on, I insist,” Sadie said. “I love supporting local businesses.”
“Whoa!” The conversation was suddenly interrupted as Ronaldo happened to pass by, glancing up from his phone as he caught sight of the strange watermelons. “What’s going on here?!”
“Hey, Ronaldo-” Steven began, though he paused when Ronaldo began snapping photo after photo of his table.
“Don’t mind me, just doing some liveblogging about your weird watermelons,” Ronaldo said as he began typing away at his latest post.
“Liveblogging?” Steven raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah! For Keep Gravity Falls Weird!” he exclaimed, reading his blog post aloud as he typed it. “Check… out… these… weird… watermelon guys… down by… the… Mystery… Shack… it’s… really… weird…”
“Steven, you shouldn’t keep your customers waiting like this,” Sadie cut in as she pulled a dollar out of her purse. “I’ll just give you five bucks and take one, ok?”
“Sadie, wait!” Steven exclaimed as she left him the money and took one. Sure, five dollars was something , but he knew it wasn’t anywhere near as much as Stan had told him to sell them for. Not that it mattered much to Ronaldo as soon as he caught wind of the significant markdown.
“What?! You’re only selling them for five dollars?!” he asked in disbelief. “Hey, everyone! Come get a Watermelon Steven! He’s practically giving them away! Hurry up before they’re gone forever!”
Before Steven could get a single word out, a large crowd had already started gathering around the table. Unable and unwilling to turn them away, Steven accepted their lowball offers, more than happy to help his watermelons find their “forever homes” above all else. So he sold them off to any and all who came by, to the point that, in almost no time at all, he had a nearly empty table and a sizable stack of cash to show for it.
Not bad for his very first business venture, Steven supposed.
As much as Dipper hated to admit it, Mabel was right. In time, she’d grow another millimeter–or more–and she'd be able to hold it over his head again, just like before. Or at least she would if not for the newfound advantage he had on his side.
He made use of the size-changing flashlight once again, mere seconds before Mabel burst into the attic, hoping to catch him in the act. In the act of what, exactly, she had no idea, but she was determined to find out nonetheless.
“Give it up, Dipper! I know-” she cut herself off, gasping when she caught sight of her brother. When she noticed he was now somehow an entire foot taller than her, at least. “Whoa, what happened?”
“Oh, you know… puberty and stuff,” Dipper shrugged, proudly smirking down at her for the first time ever.
“This doesn’t make any sense…” Mabel shook her head, bewildered. “Just a second ago, you were—Wait a minute! This is some kind of magicky thing, isn’t it? Was it a wizard or something? There’s a wizard in the closet, isn’t there? ISN’T THERE?!”
“What? No!” Dipper said. Even so, Mabel wasn’t buying it for a second.
“You’re telling me that there is not a wizard in this closet. You’re telling me that if I open this door right now-”
“Fine! Open it!”
Mabel did so, glaring at her brother all the while. Of course, there was no wizard in the closet, but that hardly convinced her otherwise. “An invisible wizard! Really, Dipper?!”
Stan had long-since stopped monitoring Steven’s stall in favor of supervising Greg and Soos as they put together his new attraction. In the midst of ordering his former and current employees around, he was caught off guard when the doorbell suddenly rang. He half expected it to be one of the Gems, come to complain about the Watermelon Steven sale once more. But who was actually awaiting him at the door turned out to be much more annoying by far.
“Oh, it’s you…” he deadpanned down at Gideon.
“Oh, howdy, Stanford!” he greeted with a dark grin. “Listen closely. Inside this jar I have one thousand cursed Egyptian super termites. Hand over the deed to your property, or I’ll smash this jar with a bat and they’ll devour this shack with you inside!”
Despite this heavy threat, Stan simply rolled his eyes, unphased. “Hey, what’s that?” he pointed in the opposite direction. While Gideon was distracted, Stan pushed the jar of termites out of his hand, letting the creatures fly free the second it hit the ground.
“Oh no!” Gideon screamed as the termites violently swarmed him. “Get off! Get ‘em off me!”
His frantic distress only made Stan laugh even harder as he called back inside. “Hey, Soos! Greg! Get out here! I wanna take pictures of this!”
Enraged, Gideon growled as he turned back around, forcing himself to ignore the feverishly biting termites. “Ya’ll may have won this battle, but mark my words, Stanford! Your family has a weak spot, and I’m gonna find it!” His threats, however intense they might have been, were ultimately undermined when Gideon shrieked over the termites filling his pompadour. “Ah! My hair!”
Refusing to endure another second of embarrassment, Gideon sullenly retreated once more. He didn’t get too far, however, before he noticed a sizable crowd gathered around a table on the far side of the shack. Curious, he crept over to get a better look, unable to quell the wave of rage that washed over him when he spotted Steven as at the center of that crowd, selling his strangely-shaped watermelons at a surprising rate. Watermelons that Gideon couldn’t help but see some level of potential when it came to his next sinister scheme, whatever it might be.
Unaware that he was being spied on from afar, Steven finished off with another round of happy customers. In the calm that followed, he took time to count out his earnings, realizing he’d made a surprisingly decent profit. “And another… and another…” His grin widened as he finished piling his stack of cash. “Cool, one hundred pieces of money.”
Before Steven could put the rest of the Watermelon Stevens out for sale, he stopped short when he spotted something, or someone crawling out from under his table. “Oh, hey, Onion,” he greeted the young boy with a friendly grin. As usual, Onion didn’t say a word as he rose to stand before the table, expectantly holding his hand out to Steven.
“Um… you want… my money?” he guessed. Still, Onion didn’t seem satisfied as he shook his head and pushed his hand further towards Steven.
“You want to buy one of my Watermelon Stevens?” Once more, Onion declined. He decided to be more direct by pointing at none other than Baby Melon. “Oh, sorry, Onion,” Steven shook his head. “Baby Melon’s not for sale.”
Steven only turned away for a second, but that was more than enough. By the time he glanced back at the table, his smile fell when he noticed it was empty–and that both Baby Melon and Onion were gone.
“Onnniiiioooon!”
“Does he only respond to incantations?” Mabel asked, still trying to get the “invisible wizard” to show himself. “Expecto wizzarium! Wizle! Wiz-”
“It’s not a wizard!” Dipper finally cut her off, annoyed with her antics. “I grew myself using this.” Knowing Mabel wouldn't leave him alone otherwise, he finally showed her the size-changing flashlight. As much as he knew he’d regret doing so.
“Uh… that’s a flashlight,” Mabel pointed out, not impressed.
“No, this,” Dipper pointed to the crystal tied to the light. “It’s some sort of magical Gem crystal. Amethyst told me that it-”
“Lemme see that thing!” Mabel suddenly snatched it. She didn’t bother listening to the rest of her brother’s explanation as she made off with it, if only to keep him from using it any more.
“Mabel!” Dipper shouted as he gave chase. As the twins made it outside, they started grappling for the flashlight, nearly running into Steven as he hurried past in pursuit of Onion and Baby Melon.
“Come on, Onion!” Steven shouted, frustrated. “Give me back my Baby Melon!”
Even if Onion didn’t listen to him, Baby Melon did . Out of nowhere, the small watermelon turned its head back to Steven, breaking free from Onion’s grip as it jumped out of his arms. Not wanting to get caught, Onion kept on running, but Steven stopped the moment Baby Melon ran into his open embrace.
“My Baby Melon!” Steven cried happily, holding his most prized melon close. “My precious… I never thought I’d see you again…”
Despite his relief, Steven took pause as he looked back down at Baby Melon. Baby Melon, who had escaped on its own , who was winking at him with its seed eyes, who could somehow, suddenly move . “You’re… ALIVE!” Steven gasped, awestruck. “You know, I really shouldn’t be so surprised about this. We have to go show everyone!”
He found he wouldn’t have to look far as he spotted Dipper and Mabel across the lawn. He ran over to them, taking Baby Melon by the hand and gently pulling it along after him. “Hey, guys! Check it out! Baby Melon is-”
“Not now, Steven!” Both twins angrily exclaimed as they continued struggling over the flashlight.
Steven’s smile quickly faded when finally realized what was going on. “Wait… are you guys… fighting? What’s the matter?”
“Dipper won’t let me see his dumb magic flash-” Mabel cut herself off as she managed to pry the flashlight away from her brother, only to accidentally switch it on in the process. The beam happened to strike one of the Watermelon Stevens sitting nearby, causing it to grow at least ten times its original size.
“Whoa!” Steven gasped as Mabel dropped the flashlight, shocked. “Baby Melon, check it out! It’s a jumbo melon! How’d you do that?!”
“I don’t-” Mabel began again as she reclaimed the flashlight. Curious, she shined it on her own hand, shrieking when it suddenly swelled up well past the size it should have been.
“It’s ok,” Dipper said as he took the flashlight back from her. “It can shrink things too.” Steven and Mabel watched, dumbstruck, as he flipped the crystal around and used the beam to return his sister’s hand back to its regular size.
“Wow…” Steven was thoroughly amazed. Mabel, on the other hand, had quickly realized what Dipper’s ploy with this flashlight was. A ploy that she was determined to put a short stop to.
“Normal hand karate chop!” she shouted as she smacked her brother’s wrist and reclaimed the light.
“Hey!” Dipper protested as he ran after her.
Likewise, Steven hurried after them both, with Baby Melon sprinting not too far behind. “Guys, wait!” he cried. “You don’t have to fight! I’m sure we could figure out a way to take turns with the magic flashlight! Guys?!”
His pleas ultimately fell on deaf ears as the twins only continued battling over the flashlight. Each time either of them got control of it, they used it against the other one, from Mabel using it to size up Dipper’s head to Dipper using it to shrink down Mabel’s. While they were always quickly restored, that hardly stopped either of them in their duel to determine who the “alpha-twin” truly was.
Steven, meanwhile, pursued the pair, begging them to talk things out all the while, not that either of them were really listening. Things finally came to a head when Baby Melon tripped, barreling into Steven, who crashed into Dipper and Mabel in turn. And, when the kids all tumbled to the ground together, so too did the size-changing flashlight as it rolled out of their reach–
And over toward Gideon instead.
While still picking termites out of his suit, Gideon continued to angrily rant over his latest defeat, even if no one was around to hear him. “Curse the Pines family!” Gideon shouted, his face hot with fury. “Curse Stan! Curse Dipper! Curse-” He cut himself off as the flashlight suddenly landed right in front of him, quickly catching his eye “My, my, what delightful manner of dohickery is this?”
Dipper, Mabel, and Steven all gasped as they watched him pick it up. They had every reason to worry too after how much of a menace he’d been with the Levitation Charm in his possession. “This is bad…” Dipper muttered anxiously.
“What do we do?!” Steven whispered, just as tense.
“Cool it, guys,” Mabel said, much too plainly, much too loudly . “Maybe he didn’t see us use it and doesn’t know it’s a magic flashlight that can grow and shrink things.”
With Gideon standing only a few feet away, he easily overheard that, much to Dipper’s frustrated annoyance. “Really?” he asked, shooting Mabel a critical look.
For his part, Gideon simply smiled wickedly, wasting no time in turning the flashlight upon his defenseless victims. Before Steven, Dipper, Mabel, or even Baby Melon could even hope to get away, the pink light struck each of them squarely, working fast to shrink each of them down. Within seconds, the world around them seemed massive, with even grass and pebbles on the ground towering over all of their heads.
By comparison, Gideon seemed like a giant as he let out a booming, triumphant laugh at his miniscule enemies’ expense. With the mere blink of a flashlight, he’d gone from embarrassing defeat to an easy win, one that he wasn’t about to let slip away from him so quickly. Which was exactly why he’d used his now-empty termite bottle to trap his tiny foes before they could even try to get away.
However, what Gideon didn’t notice as he reveled in his victory, were the many prying eyes watching him intently. And, the second they saw that Steven was in danger, the remaining Watermelon Stevens didn’t hesitate to rush to his rescue.
“Wha-?!” Gideon spun around when he heard the Watermelon Stevens’ muffled war cries. He nearly dropped his bottle out of shock at the sight of the living melons alone, but he was even more alarmed when they suddenly started to attack him.
The army of melons tackled Gideon, punching and kicking as hard as they could, all in an attempt to claim the bottle he only barely managed to hold out of their reach. From within that bottle, Steven and the twins could only watch, baffled, unable to do much else in such a small state.
“Whoa! I guess they’re all alive!” Steven gasped, awestruck.
“But why are they acting so crazy?” Mabel asked, struggling to remain upright against the ongoing fray. “Baby Melon is way more chill than these guys!”
“I don’t know… Any ideas, Baby Melon?” Steven turned to the now-even tinier watermelon beside him. But Baby Melon only had a shrug to offer in response.
“Wait, that’s it!” Dipper exclaimed. “Steven, see if you can get them to listen to you! Maybe they can save us from Gideon and take the flashlight back from him!”
“Um… I’ll try…” Steven cleared his throat before he raised his voice as much as he could. “Hey, Watermelon Me’s! If you guys aren’t too busy, then could you maybe—whoa!”
Steven was cut off as Gideon abruptly tilted the bottle, knocking everyone inside of it over as he scrambled onto a tree stump to escape the rioting melons. As frazzled as he was from the assault, Gideon was far from the point of surrender. Especially when he figured out exactly how he could turn this sudden obstacle into a newfound opportunity.
“Oh what? You lil’ melon heads want him?!” Gideon challenged as he held the jar high over his head. The Watermelon Stevens all froze, each of them fixing their focus on it. “Well then, listen up! Unless you want me to smash this jar with all of ‘em in it, ya’ll are gonna listen to everything I say from here on out. Ya got it?”
The Watermelon Stevens reacted harshly, pressing up against the stump in another attempt at clamoring for the jar. Gideon, however, wasn’t about to let them be his undoing. He held the jar as high as he possibly could, aiming it at a nearby tree with the intent of brutally throwing it against its trunk. Much to the horror of everyone hopelessly trapped inside of it.
“I said do you got it ?!” he asked the watermelons once more. This time, they quickly got the message. Begrudgingly, they backed off, hanging their heads as they allowed Gideon to climb back down with a smug, satisfied smile.
“Wait! You guys, no!” Steven called as he beat his fists against the side of the jar. “Don’t listen to him! He-”
“Face it, Universe!” Gideon sharply cut him off as he held the jar in front of his face. “Ya’ll lost ! All three of ya! Your watermelon army is mine! Your magical shrinkin’ gadget is mine! And soon… the Mystery Shack and vengeance will be MINE!”
With a maniacal laugh, Gideon safely tucked the jar under his arm as he beckoned the Watermelon Stevens to follow him. The melons glumly did so, unable to do little else as he departed with their shrunken master in tow. And, only a few moments later, the Gems arrived, unknowingly missing everything.
“I wonder where Steven is…” Pearl frowned over at Steven’s now empty table. “He must have sold all of his watermelons by now… I’m still not sure if that was a good idea.”
“Relax, P,” Amethyst let out a bored yawn. “They’re just watermelons. And besides, when does anything bad ever happen around here?”
Garnet offered only a short, simple response to this, one that her teammates couldn’t help but agree with. “Every day.”
“Friends, I wish I was a highway so I could have the honor of being rode upon by automobiles as fine as these ones right here!” Bud Gleeful put on an air showmanship as he presented his customers with one of the several used cars on his lot. As soon as he tapped the side of that car, however, one of its hubcaps fell off and a possum squirmed out of its hood, hissing. “Engine possum at no extra charge.”
Even despite this, the crowd of customers went wild, waving their money around as they all scrambled to buy the car first. Bud’s greedy grin was only cut short as he happened to spot his son passing by, toting a mysterious jar as a single file line of watermelons trailed behind him. “Say there, son,” he called curiously. “What’s in the jar? And who are your… little friends?”
“That’s my widdle secret!” Gideon threw on a sickeningly sweet grin as he turned to face the onlookers.
The crowd was quickly charmed, even though none of them noticed the contempt that filled Gideon’s face as he turned away from them. “Mouth-breathin’ fools…” he muttered disdainfully once he went inside his house. He only gave his mother a short, very dry greeting as he passed her by. For her part, Mrs. Gleeful offered no response as she continued nervously vacuuming the kitchen like her life depended on it.
As soon as Gideon and all of the Watermelon Stevens had filed into his room, he finally unscrewed the jar and dumped Dipper, Mabel, Steven, and Baby Melon onto his desk. As small as they were, they knew there wasn’t much they could do to escape, lest they be on the receiving end of Gideon’s notoriously violent temper. “You three!” he shouted at the trio as they huddled in close to protect each other.
“What are you gonna do with us?!” Mabel asked, frightened.
“Why Mabel, I wouldn’t hurt a hair on your itty-bitty head,” Gideon chuckled twistedly. “If you agree to be my queen!”
“We live in a democracy!” Mabel exclaimed. “And never!”
“Maybe you’ll change your mind after THIS!” Gideon picked Mabel up by the collar of her sweater, much to Dipper and Steven’s shared alarm. Even so, she wasn’t one to go down without a struggle, however tiny that struggle was forced to be.
“No! I’ll fight you until the day I-” Mabel swiftly stopped when Gideon held her up to a bag of one of her favorite sugary treats. “Gummy Koalas!” She didn’t protest whatsoever as she was dropped into the bag, allowing her to happily snack on the candy, now half the size she was.
With Mabel pacified, Gideon turned his attention back on Steven and Dipper instead. “As for you two…” he began darkly as he turned the bright table lamp on them. “What’s the deal with these watermelons, Universe? Are they some sort of magical Gem thing?”
“Well, yeah,” Steven admitted. “I accidentally grew them using-” He was abruptly cut off by Dipper, who had slapped a hand over his mouth to keep him from revealing any more.
“We don’t have to tell you anything!” he defiantly exclaimed. Even so, he still tensed up just a bit when Gideon turned his angry attention onto him.
“Oh really?” he challenged. “Well I think my watermelon comrades aren’t too pleased with that. Right, fellas?”
Gideon glanced back at the group of Watermelon Stevens behind him, though not a single one of them moved so much as an inch at his command. “You seedy fools!“Get over here and intimidate them for me!”
At this, the watermelon lunged forward to once again attack Gideon instead of attacking for him. He let out a panicked wail as they pulled him to the ground, beating him just as brutally as they had back at the shack. “Augh! No!” he howled as one of the melons landed a kick straight to his face. “Get off me, you overly-ripe idiots!”
“Yeah! Get him!” Mabel cheered as she continued munching on her gummy koalas. “Kick his adorable butt!”
“Man, those guys really don’t listen well, do they?” Dipper said to Steven. “Not even to you apparently.”
“I’m not sure what their problem is…” Steven frowned as he glanced over at Baby Melon. “The Gems said that my mom used to grow magic plants that would listen to her, but… I guess I’m just not very good at it…” He heaved a disappointed sigh, though Baby Melon was quick to console him with a comforting hug. “Aw, Baby Melon! You’re the best! You know, I guess you’re even more of a ‘baby’ melon now that we’re all so tiny! Ha!”
Eventually, Gideon managed to push the rebelling melons off of him enough to pick himself up off the ground. They were more than ready to keep on attacking him, until Gideon swiftly swiped Steven up off the desk, holding him high in the air with a tight fist. Steven let out a frightened yelp when he realized just how far he was from the ground–and how deadly a fall from such a height could truly be.
“Back away!” Gideon fiercely warned the melons. “Back away or I’ll squish him like a grape!”
This proved to finally be enough to reign the Watermelon Stevens back in. They stepped back slowly, glaring at Gideon all the while as he roughly dropped Steven back onto the desk. “I’ll give those watermelons this,” Gideon growled as he straightened up his disheveled suit. “They’re about as smart as you are, Universe.”
“Oh, thank you!” Steven smiled, oblivious.
“You might as well just let us go, Gideon,” Dipper spoke up. “You have literally nothing to gain from keeping us here.”
“Oh, I don’t now?” Gideon questioned coldly. “Then tell me… How exactly did you come across that magic flashlight? Hmm? Did somebody tell you about it? Did you read about it somewhere?”
Dipper hesitated, knowing that the answers to both of those questions were technically a yes. Still, the last thing he wanted was to reveal the journal to someone like Gideon , of all people. So instead, he came up with a much better idea instead. “Lean closer and I’ll tell you!” he whispered, quickly motioning to Steven to cover his ears. While confused, he did so, just in time for Dipper to sound a nearby air horn right in Gideon’s ear when he leaned in.
“Ahhh!” Gideon screamed as he whacked the lamp away, glaring hatefully down at the boys. “I could squash you both right now!” he shouted hotly, holding his fist over the two of them.
The Watermelon Stevens lined in a bit closer when they saw this, ready to violently retaliate if need be. That alone was enough to get Gideon to back down, especially when he realized he shouldn’t be too hasty. At least not yet. “Steel yourself, Gideon. You can use them. You can use them…”
Stan grinned, satisfied, as he watched Soos and Greg finish setting up the myriad of mirrors in the parlor. The Mystery Shack’s newest attraction wasn’t exactly the most complicated, but Stan knew that it would still pull in the crowds regardless. After all, he’d learned a long time ago that it took almost nothing to impress the impressionable masses that were his customers.
“Soos, this maze of mirrors is your best idea that I’m taking credit for yet!” Stan proudly remarked. “We’re gonna make a fortune!” He took off his fez and smirked as he looked at his reflection on one of the many mirrors. “Huh… Have my ears always been this big?”
Soos hurried up to the mirror when Stan walked away from it. He made sure his boss wasn’t looking as he put on his fez and he stood boldly and wistfully before his reflection. “One day!”
“Hey, Mr. Pines?” Greg asked as he approached his former boss. “Is Steven still outside selling his watermelons? I haven’t seen him around in a while…”
“What?” Stan asked, disgruntled. “That kid better not be shirking off! He’s supposed to be out there making me—I mean, making us money!”
“Don’t bother going out there and looking for him,” Garnet said. Pearl and Amethyst trailed in after her as she entered the parlor. “He’s not there.”
“W-well then, where is he?” Greg asked, suddenly concerned.
“Aw, I’m sure he’s fine, Greg,” Amethyst waved him off. “He’s probably just hanging with Dipper and Mabel, going on some sort of ‘wacky’ adventure, or whatever those three do when we’re not around.”
The conversation was soon interrupted as the phone rang from the other room. As Stan went to answer it, he sullenly called back over his shoulder, “All those watermelons better be sold, or that kid’s gonna hear it!”
“You have no right to scold Steven, Stan!” Pearl yelled after him. “He-” She was quickly cut off before her rant could continue by Amethyst suddenly yanking on her arm.
“Whoa! Check out all the mirrors!” she bounced up and down excitedly at the sight of the mirror maze. “Last one in’s an uptight Pearl!”
“W-what?!” Pearl exclaimed, appalled as she watched Amethyst blindly rush into the maze. “Amethyst, get back here! Amethyst!”
As Pearl ran in the maze after Amethyst, only Greg and Garnet were left behind as an awkward sort of silence soon filled the room. “Uh…” Greg began, unsure of what to say. However, before he could get another word out, Garnet silently stepped into the mirror maze on her own accord. “Good talk!” Greg called after her, flustered.
“Yeah?” Stan dryly answered the phone. Somehow, he wasn’t surprised to hear Gideon’s voice on the other end.
“Stanford Pines, listen to me very closely,” Gideon warned, his tone dead serious. “And make sure you pass this message onto the Crystal Gems too. I have your niece and nephew, as well as young Steven Universe. Hand over the deed to the Mystery Shack right now, or great harm will befall them!” A beat of silence passed before he added, “This is Gideon, by the way.”
Much to Gideon’s frustration, Stan responded not with fear, but with laughter instead. “Oh yeah, this has gotta be your worst plot yet,” Stan snickered before he covered the phone. “Hey, you guys!” he called to the Gems as they made their way through the mirror maze. “Get a load of this! Gideon says he’s holding the kids ransom for the shack! Pretty hilarious, right?”
“Totally!” Amethyst’s laughter echoed from her spot in the maze.
“More like completely ridiculous!” Pearl scoffed, still chasing Amethyst all the while.
Garnet gave no response and Stan didn’t wait for one as he spoke to Gideon once more. “You’re full of it, kid. They’re fine. I saw them playing in the yard just a few minutes ago.”
“I have them in my possession!” Gideon insisted. “And I have an army of my very own! You don’t believe me?! I will text you a photo!”
“‘Text me a photo’?” Stan repeated, confused. “Now you’re not even speaking English!”
“But-” Gideon was cut off when Stan abruptly hung up. “Hello? Hello? Augh!”
Infuriated, he threw the phone against the wall in a fit of rage. Both Dipper and Steven had to quickly duck to avoid being hit by its debris. They soon realized they had even more to worry about as Gideon began to eerily laugh, only growing more unhinged by the second. “What am I doing? I don’t need a ransom! I have THIS!”
As he held the size-changing flashlight up, a wave of newfound fear washed over all three of the kids. Especially when Gideon made his sinister plans for it more than clear. “I’ll shrink Stan and take the shack for myself! And while I’m at it, I’ll shrink the Gems too, and crush ‘em like the rocks they are!”
“You can’t do that!” Steven boldly protested.
“Oh, I can’t?” Gideon retorted calmly, confidently.
“Yeah! We’ll stop you!” Dipper exclaimed.
“Really? You and what army?” Gideon smirked back at the Watermelon Stevens still lining the room.
“Oh yeah…” Steven frowned, rubbing his arm. “I guess we forgot about that…”
The tension of the moment was all but shattered as Bud called for Gideon from downstairs. “Gideon! The ice cream truck is here!”
“Oh! Comin’!” Gideon called with an excited grin. Before he left, he made sure that his captives would stay in line under the watchful eye of, of all things, his pet hamster. “Guard them, Cheekums,” he ordered before running off, taking all of the Watermelon Stevens with him. “I’m coming!”
As soon as Gideon had left, Steven and Dipper found themselves standing face to face with the oversized Cheekums. To their relief, they quickly found that he was far from an intimidating creature, especially as he let out a dormant squeak when Baby Melon stepped over to hug him.
“Aw…” Steven smiled, stars in his eyes. “That is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!”
“We gotta get out of here and save Stan and the Gems!” Dipper was quick to remind both Steven and Mabel of the dire matter at hand.
“I know!” Mabel agreed as she shoved the head of one of the gummy koalas into her sweater for safekeeping. “I will see you later.”
“Yeah, but how can we help them?” Steven asked. “Gideon’s huge compared to us and he has all of the Watermelon Stevens!”
“And he has the flashlight,” Dipper added, sighing. “On the bright side, at least you and me are the same height again, Mabel.”
“Actually…” Mabel frowned, uncertain. That alone prompted Dipper into demanding that they check again. It didn’t take long for them to find a ruler, and once more, Steven confirmed that Mabel was indeed just a millimeter taller.
“You’re still taller?” Dipper asked in disbelief. “Augh! How did this happen?”
“I guess it’s just another mystery,” Mabel shrugged, grinning.
“Whatever,” Dipper scoffed as he glanced down at the floor far below them. “Just another reason to get that flashlight back as soon as possible.”
“We’re gonna need a long ladder to get all the way down there…” Steven said, apprehensive. Mabel, however, had another idea.
“Cheekums, to freedom!” she hopped up onto the hamster, patting his sides. “To freedom!” Upon patting Cheekums again and seeing that he didn’t respond, Mabel quickly realized that her plan most likely wasn’t going to work. “Aw, you’re just a big ol’ dummy-dumb!”
“What is it, Baby Melon?” Steven turned as the small watermelon tugged on his shirt. “Do you have an idea?”
Baby Melon eagerly nodded as it grabbed Steven’s hand and pulled him over to the edge of the desk. Curious, the twins followed as Baby Melon’s plan became clear when they spotted the nearby clothes hamper. It had spilled over during Gideon’s last altercation with the other Watermelon Stevens, giving them a cushioned pile of powder blue-suit to land safely upon.
As small as they were, sneaking downstairs was easy enough. Still, they made sure to be as careful as possible as they crept into the living room, where Gideon was greedily enjoying his ice cream. The Watermelon Stevens stood by all the while, watching him like hawks, all but waiting for another reason to attack him all over again.
“Clean me!” Gideon sharply ordered his father. As soon as Bud was finished wiping his face off, Gideon turned his usual faux charm back on. “Father, could you give widdle ol’ me and my watermelons a ride to the Mystery Shack?”
“Oh, I’d love to, sugarpot,” Bud replied, grinning. “But I have a heck of a lot of cars to sell, I do!” His smile widened as he began lightly tickling his son. While Gideon laughed at first, he very quickly fell into yet another heated fit of rage.
“N-no, no! DON’T TICKLE ME!” Gideon suddenly screamed. With an enraged shout, he threw his tub of ice cream across the room, only narrowly missing his mother. “NEVER tickle me! What have I told you?! What have I—look at me—what have I told you?!”
“Ticklin’ is no laughing matter…” Bud meekly backed off.
“There you go,” Gideon coldly patted his father’s head.
“Do you still need a ride?”Bud still asked nonetheless.
“I’ll just take the BUS!” Gideon growled, knocking over an end table as took his leave. The Watermelon Stevens followed after him, leaving his parents behind in a mix of happiness and horror.
“Ah… precious memories…” Bud smiled, reclining back onto the couch.
“Just keep vacumnin’,” Mrs. Gleeful fearfully muttered to herself as she did exactly that. “Just keep vacumin’…”
As soon as the coast was clear, Dipper, Mabel, Steven, and Baby Melon all made a run for it, escaping the house through the low dog door. As soon as they were outside, however, another problem soon became obvious. At their current size, it’d essentially take them forever to follow Gideon all the way over to the shack. And by the time they’d get there, they’d be far too late to save anyone from his wrath.
“We need to get higher…” Dipper frowned as he glanced around the car lot for a solution.
“Yeah, especially you, ‘cause you’re short,” Mabel elbowed him teasingly.
“Ok, you know what, Mabel-”
“Guys, now’s not the time!” Steven cut in before another argument could ensue. “We need to work together to come up with a plan, not fight!”
“...Steven’s right,” Dipper agreed. “And speaking of plans, I have one.” He nodded up to a dollar sign balloon floating nearby. It took a bit of doing, but the group managed to scale the balloon’s rope, making it to the top of the balloon just in time to see Gideon and his watermelon army board the bus below.
“How are we ever gonna catch up with them?!” Steven asked as the bus took off without them.
“Oh flying discount dollar, if only you could fly us back to the Mystery Shack,” Mabel sighed, wistfully patting the balloon.
“Maybe it can…” Dipper grinned as he pulled out his pocket knife. It took a while for the tiny knife to cut through the rope tethering the balloon, but as soon as it did, it took to the sky with the kids sailing swiftly upon it. Fortunately, the winds were in their favor as it chased after the bus Gideon was on, and the dollar’s “wings” acted as perfect rudders to give them an extra level of control.
They arrived at the Mystery Shack mere moments after Gideon, landing atop one of the totem poles in the yard. From there, they used the flag rope as a zipline to get over to the shack, landing them on the roof just as Gideon stepped onto the porch.
“I’m comin’ for ya, Stanford!” Gideon deviously announced. With the flashlight secure in his grasp and the Watermelon Stevens marching behind him, his victory was all but assured. Until…
“I’m sorry, gummy friend,” Mabel sighed as she held up the gummy koala she had saved earlier.
“It’s for the greater good,” Dipper reassured her as both Steven and Baby Melon nodded their solemn agreement. With that, Mabel let the gummy koala go, letting it drop squarely on top of Gideon’s pompadour below.
“Ugh!” he let out a disgusted shout. “One of those infernal gummy koalas has gotten into my perfect hair! I can’t defeat Stan and the Gems looking like this!”
After commanding the Watermelon Stevens to stand by, Gideon dropped the flashlight and hurried over to the nearest mirror to fix his hair. This gave Steven, Dipper, and Mabel plenty of time to rappel down to the ground–and to the size-changing flashlight all but waiting for them to use it.
“Ok, guys,” Steven whispered. He stole a glance over his shoulder to make sure Gideon was still distracted. “We have to hurry and do this before Gideon gets back.”
“Right,” Mabel agreed, standing near the flashlight’s switch. “You get in front and I’ll re-grow you.”
While Steven and Baby Melon both nodded, Dipper wasn’t as on board with such a plan. “Wait… you’re gonna grow us back to equal height, right?”
“Dipper, that doesn’t matter right now!” Mabel groaned, annoyed.
“Well if it doesn’t matter, why don’t you just do it?”
“Guys! Come on!” Steven urged, distressed. “We don’t have time for this!”
“Why are you acting so weird?! Why can’t you just accept that I’m a little bit taller than you?”
“Dipper! Mabel! Please! Mr. Pines and the Gems are in danger!” Steven practically begged, only to be drowned out all over again.
“Oh, I’m acting weird? You’re the one who keeps calling me names and stuff!”
“Guys, cut it out! We gotta-”
“Oh what? You mean like little-”
“Don’t say it!”
“ Little Dipper .”
Gideon ultimately brought the argument to a stark end with this. In an instant, he snatched the kids and Baby Melon up with one hand, and the size-changing flashlight with the other. And in the process, he all but snatched their one chance at turning the tides in their favor away from them altogether. “Well, lookie what almost happened!” Gideon grinned down at his struggling captives. “I dare say you would have defeated me, if it wasn’t for your sibling bickering!”
“Gideon, wait!” Steven started to protest. Not that Gideon let him get much more than that out.
“Whatever it is you’re gonna say, Universe, save it!” he snapped. At the same time, the Watermelon Stevens pressed in closer upon noticing Steven was in danger. Something that Gideon once again was more than happy to use to his advantage. “And as for you lot, ya’ll are gonna go in there and act as my loyal army, or else I’ll squash him and all of you with him!”
Once more, the Watermelon Stevens had no choice but to back down and obey. Steven frowned as he noticed this, but before he could say anything to his sentient fruits, Gideon put his own twisted plan into action. He kicked the door of the Mystery Shack wide open, with the size-changing flashlight poised to attack whoever he saw first.
“The shack is mine , Stanford Pines!” Gideon triumphantly proclaimed. He switched the flashlight on, letting its magic shine full-force upon the target before him.
“No!” the kids cried as they watched Stan’s fez fall to the ground. As far as Gideon was concerned, however, this was just one foe down, three more to go.
“Well, well, Stanford,” Gideon began as lifted the fallen fez up. “It appears I finally got the best of- what ?!” He gasped when he realized the one sitting under the hat wasn’t Stan, but a much smaller Soos instead.
“Hm…” Soos glanced around as he put his usual hat back on. “Alright, something is definitely different here…”
More enraged than ever, Gideon gathered up all of his tiny victims and tossed them into his jar, shaking it as he demanded answers out of the handyman. “Tell me where Stan and the Crystal Gems are!”
“Never!” Soos bravely protested. “You’ll never find Stan and the Gems on the second floor to the left down the hall! …Wait, why did I say that?”
Gideon wasted no time jumping on this lead as he shoved the jar into his suit pocket and took off down the hall. “Oh, Stanford! I’m comin’ for ya!” he flicked the flashlight on and off as he issued another harsh order to the Watermelon Stevens. “Shake a leg, you seedy simpletons!”
As the situation grew more dire by the minute, the kids, along with Soos and Baby Melon, beat against the side of the jar keeping them trapped. Not that it mattered much now; it’d only be a matter of time now before Gideon shrunk Stan and the Gems down too.
And once he did, there’d be no one left to stop him.
“I guess I kinda Soosed this one up, didn’t I?” Soos asked, frowning.
“Nah, it’s not your fault, Soos,” Steven reassured. “I’d say someone else is a little more responsible for that…”
Under the surprisingly critical glare Steven offered them, Dipper and Mabel both quickly caved. Largely because they knew he was right . Their short-sightedness had, quite literally, gotten them into this mess and kept them tightly trapped in it with no way out. And all for the sake of an argument that, in the grand scheme of things, hardly seemed to matter anymore.
“I… I guess this was sort of my fault…” Dipper admitted, rubbing his arm. “I mean, I’m the guy who put that shrinking device together in the first place. It’s just… you kept teasing me, Mabel, like all day. What was that all about?”
Mabel sighed as she glanced away from her brother. “I guess it’s that… you’re better than me at almost everything, and you always rub it in my face. You always come up with the best plans and you know, like, everything… Sometimes… sometimes it feels like I just can’t… measure up to you. With this height thing, it finally felt like I was winning at something for once.”
“Aw, Mabel…” Dipper shook his head. “You shouldn’t worry about measuring up to me. Heck, if anything, I should be trying to measure up to you . You’re creative, you’re funny, and you’re like, the biggest social butterfly I’ve ever seen.”
“You mean it?” Mabel asked, finally managing a small smile.
“Of course I do,” Dipper nodded. “And now I feel like a big jerk about being so petty over this height thing all day…”
“Don’t you mean a little jerk?” Mabel joked. And unlike all of the others, this was one that Dipper couldn’t help but genuinely laugh at.
“Alright, I walked right into that one,” he chuckled. “Are we cool?”
“We’re cool,” Mabel agreed, firmly meeting her brother’s fist bump.
“Yay! We’re cool!” Steven cheered as he scooped both of the twins and Baby Melon into a happy hug.
“Let me get in there, dudes,” Soos joined them, squeezing all of the kids tight.
Sure, their situation may have seemed bleak, but somewhere in that hug, the kids still managed to find some hope all the same. Regardless of what size they might be, they were still standing together. And as long as they were together, then no matter how small they were, they knew they could make some big waves.
Waves that they hoped might just be big enough to somehow save the day.
The Watermelon Stevens entered the parlor ahead of Gideon, acting as bodyguards on all sides as he caught sight of one of his enemies in one the many mirrors filling the room. “Stanford!” he snapped vengefully, refusing to be made a fool of again.
“Oh, hi, Gideon,” Stan greeted, initially unconcerned. At least until he spotted the crowd of Watermelon Stevens surrounding him. “Hey! Where’d you get those?! I swear, kid, you better have paid full price for all those melons, or I’m gonna-”
“Pay for ‘em?” Gideon interrupted with a wicked laugh. “I don’t think so. They’re my own personal army! And together, we’re gonna destroy you and those darn Crystal Gems, and take this shack!”
“Sure you are,” Stan rolled his eyes. “By the way, I’ve been looking for someone other than Amethyst and Pearl to try out my new mirror maze. Then again, you’re an idiot. That’s the end of the sentence.”
Gideon clenched his fists, enraged, as Stan took off into the maze, laughing at his expense all the while. “You come back here!”
“Try and find me, twerp!” Stan brazenly challenged. A challenge that Gideon readily took.
“Fan out and find the Gems!” he commanded the Watermelon Stevens. “Or else!” He tapped the top of the bottle in his pocket as another grim reminder of what could happen if they didn’t comply. Or rather, what could have happened if his tiny captives weren’t already making a break for it.
Working together, they managed to tower on top of each other to pry the jar open when Gideon wasn’t looking. This time, their size proved to be an advantage as they were able to climb out of Gideon’s pocket without being spotted.
“Ok, we need to get that flashlight back before Gideon finds Stan or any of the Gems,” Dipper firmly reminded the others.
“There it is!” Steven pointed to the light, resting in Gideon’s other suit pocket. While close enough, none of them wanted to risk getting caught again. Which was why they took to sneaking around Gideon’s back in order to get to it, a route with obstacles all its own.
“Whoa! His hair is so shiny!” Mabel gasped, wonderstruck, as she took in the pristine brightness of Gideon’s white hair.
“No!” Dipper pulled his sister back before she could touch it. “Don’t look directly at it!”
“His neck is really squishy!” Soos grinned as he leaned into Gideon’s generous love handles. “Hey look! I’m making fat angles!”
“Ew! Termites!” Gideon cringed when he felt the sudden disturbance on the back of his neck. A mere swipe of his hand was all it took to knock Soos clean off, much to the kids’ shared alarm.
“Tell my storyyyy!” Soos called up as he fell. Thankfully, he made a soft landing in the shag rug below, where he made an exciting, delicious discovery. “Hey, there you are!” He picked up the half-eaten chip he had dropped days ago, taking a bite. “Thought you could get away from me, eh corn chip?”
Meanwhile, Gideon continued to pursue Stan through the mirror maze, never catching up as his countless reflections only served to anger him even more. Still, he soon remembered his other targets when he overheard them arguing nearby.
“There you are, Amethyst!” Pearl huffed, exasperated. “I can’t believe we wasted all this time chasing you through this mess of mirrors!”
“Hey, nobody told you that you had to run after me,” Amethyst shrugged, unbothered.
“Aha!” Gideon leapt out from behind one of the mirrors. He raised the size-changing flashlight, taking steady aim at the pair of confused Gems before him. “Stay right where you are! You ladies are cornered!”
After only a beat of silence, both Amethyst and Pearl broke down laughing at such a ridiculous demand. “What, you’re not like, serious, are you, dude?” Amethyst asked, chuckling. “You really think we’re afraid of you and some dinky little flashlight?”
“Oh you will be… after I do this !” Gideon flipped the flashlight on, cackling wildly as the pink beam shone upon the pair of Gems. And yet, what should have been a crowning moment soon shifted into confusion when he realized his foes weren’t getting any smaller in the slightest.
Instead, Pearl and Amethyst simply stood there, unsure of what was even supposed to be happening as Gideon began beating the side of the flashlight in newfound desperation. “W-what?!” he exclaimed, aghast. “Why ain’t it working?! It’s supposed to be working!”
“Uh… this is really embarrassing…” Amethyst muttered, frowning.
“Wait a second…” Pearl squinted at the small crystal tied to the front of the flashlight. “No, it can’t be… Is that… a piece of the Magnitude Modulator?!”
“Magnitude what-now?” Amethyst asked.
“The Magnitude Modulator!” Pearl pointedly repeated. “It was built by Gems ages ago in order to aid in construction by shrinking down or sizing up organic materials. That’s why it doesn’t work on us; we’re manifestations of light.”
“Oh, yeah, the size crystal things!” Amethyst exclaimed. “Ugh, darn it! I thought I told Dipper not to tell anyone about that!”
“You did what ?” Pearl asked, eyeing her suspiciously.
“Uh, I mean… I-I don’t know anything about them!” Amethyst countered awkwardly. “And I totally didn’t tell anyone else about them. That’d just be plain irresponsible, which you know I’m not.”
“...Oh, for crying out loud…” Pearl pinched the bridge of her nose. Still, there’d be time to ream Amethyst out for this later; there was a much more daunting matter at hand to deal with now. “Listen, Gideon,” she began, her tone firm as she took a step forward. “You need to hand that flashlight over right now. It's empowered with ancient Gem technology, and you have no business-”
“You really think I’m gonna just hand such a powerful tool over to you?” Gideon scoffed as he pulled the flashlight out of her reach. “Even if this didn’t work on ya’ll, I know something that will!”
With a sharp whistle, Gideon beckoned all of the Watermelon Stevens to his side. Pearl and Amethyst gasped, shocked at the sight of the now fully-animated melon army.
“They’re alive?!” Amethyst asked, stunned.
“They most certainly are,” Gideon grinned viciously. “And they’re about to take you Gems down a peg or two… Watermelons! Get them!”
At his command, the watermelons pounced on the two Gems, their violent nature taking full control. Regardless, Pearl and Amethyst were ready for the onslaught as they quickly summoned their weapons, using them to easily slice through the first several melons in their way. Still, there was little they could do to stop Gideon as he ran off, determined as ever to shrink Stan.
“Garnet!” Pearl let out a warning shout. “We’re under-”
“Attack, I know,” Garnet said as jumped down into the fray, her gauntlets already summoned.
“Steven’s watermelon guys came to life!” Amethyst lashed her whip out to knock back another melon. “And somehow that punk Gideon got them to attack us!”
“It makes sense,” Garnet replied as she punched one of the watermelons to pieces. “Rose’s plants lived to fight.”
“But how in the world did Gideon of all people get them to listen to him?!” Pearl asked as she cut a watermelon’s head clean off. “They’re supposed to be listening to Steven!”
Garnet clenched her fists even tighter as she stole a glance in the direction Gideon had run off in. “It’s because Gideon captured Steven and the twins,” she said, a hint of anger in her otherwise calm voice.
“What?!” Pearl and Amethyst exclaimed, equally alarmed.
“That little scoundrel!” Pearl hissed, gripping her spear as she prepared to chase after him. “We have to rescue them!”
“No,” Garnet quickly stopped her. “We have to take care of these watermelons. And besides, they have it covered.”
As much as they wanted to help the kids, Pearl and Amethyst couldn’t help but agree with their leader’s counsel as they continued brawling the murderous melons. After all, they’d seen the kids get themselves out of more than a few tight spots before. All they could do now was trust that they’d able to do it again.
Satisfied that the Watermelon Stevens could handle the Gems, Gideon maneuvered his way through the mirror maze, ready to shrink Stan down the moment he saw him. On a knee jerk reaction, he fired off a beam from the flashlight at one of Stan’s countless reflections, which bounced off nothing other than solid glass.
“Hey, Mr. Pines!” Greg called as he entered the parlor, carrying Stan’s fez. “I found your-” He was abruptly cut off as the size-changing beam suddenly bolted right past him, only missing him. Instead, it struck the taxidermied moose head on the wall next to him, swiftly shrinking it down. “Yikes!” Greg gasped as he turned attention to the chaos in the room below him. The Gems were brutally battling the Watermelon Stevens, while Gideon had begun breaking several of the surrounding mirrors to make tracking Stan down easier. Whatever was going on, it was clearly far beyond what Greg was comfortable dealing with, which was why he simply placed the fez on the banister before he slowly backed out of the room. “Uh… I’ll come back later…”
“Hey, watch the merchandise!” Stan shouted as Gideon smashed another mirror in his demented frenzy. His plan ultimately worked as Stan himself stepped out into the open, angrily storming towards him. And, unknowingly, towards his untimely undoing. “You little troll! Those mirrors cost me ten—I mean, twenty five—five hundred—five hundred dollars each, and you’re paying for all of them!”
“Oh contraire…” Gideon smirked as he held the flashlight up. “It’ll be you who pays!”
“We’re too late!” Steven cried as he and Baby Melon peeked out from Gideon’s suit.
“Grunkle Stan is doomed!” Mabel mourned as Gideon took careful aim at Stan.
“Not entirely doomed!” Dipper corrected as he came up with a sudden idea. “Quick! To his armpit!”
“Uh… what?” Steven frowned, confused. Likewise, Mabel shook her head in protest, until Dipper managed to pull them both back down into Gideon’s suit.
“Just come on!” he urged, knowing they had not a second to waste.
“Whoa, what is that thing?” Stan asked as Gideon used the flashlight to back him into the nearby wall.
Gideon offered no response as he launched into a confident, villainous monologue instead. “Finally, after all these years, after every humiliation! Your business, your family, everything will finally be mine! You have no one to protect you now! Prepare for the wrath of Gideon Glee-” He cut himself off, biting back an involuntary laugh before trying again. “Gideon Glee—oh, oh, hahahaha!”
Stan could only stand by, confused, as Gideon suddenly collapsed to the ground, dropping his flashlight as uncontrollable laughter overtook him. “Uh… I don’t know how to respond to this…” Stan said with an uncomfortable frown.
“N-no! No! Stop it! Hahaha!” Gideon howled, rolling on the ground to try and shake off whatever unseen force was aggressively tickling him. Unbeknownst to him, his four tiny captives were the culprits, working together to take him down in an unexpected, unintentionally hilarious way.
“Um, look, kid, I think this rivalry is getting to you,” Stan said over Gideon’s crazed chuckling. “I understand. I mean, I’m a pretty formidable foe. What can I say?”
Unable to regain his bearings, Gideon could only growl amidst his unstoppable laughter as Stan continued. “Hey now, come on! You’ll get me one of these days!” he patronized insincerely. “Maybe you should, you know, run your evil plan by some friends next time. Workshop it. But first, get your issues in order there.”
Deciding it was finally time to kick Gideon out, Stan used his foot to roll him across the floor, ignoring his agonized laughter all the while. “Up over the carpet, there we go, around the end table, and out the door.” Unceremoniously, Stan pushed him out, allowing him to clumsily roll down the porch steps and onto the grass. Luckily, Dipper, Mabel, Steven, and Baby Melon managed to jump off of him just in time, chasing after the flashlight after it fell out of Gideon’s hands.
Suddenly free from the tickling scourge, Gideon scrambled to his feet, panicking as he realized the flashlight was gone. “My light!”
“You’re the light of my life too, pal,” Stan deadpanned, slamming the door in Gideon's face. “Wow, what a freak show.”
With the flashlight secured, the kids raced to use it as quickly as possible. Steven sized Baby Melon up first, before using it on himself to do the same. When the twins’ turns came around, Mabel was caught off guard when Dipper motioned for her to go first. “After you.”
“It’s ok,” Mabel shook her head, smiling. “You can go first if you want—whoa!” She gasped as her brother suddenly turned the light on, bringing her back up to her regular height. She didn’t hesitate to return the favor, only to find a pleasant surprise when they compared their heights again. “Hey, you let me keep my extra millimeter!”
“You earned it,” Dipper shrugged, content. After all, if he’d learned anything after spending the day at a few inches tall, it was that a mere millimeter didn’t matter in the slightest. Especially if that millimeter got in between him and his sister.
“Aww… Thanks, little brother!” Mabel laughed warmly.
“Stop it,” Dipper warned, just shy of Steven pulling them both into a tight hug.
“I’m so glad you guys are getting along again!” His joy was short-lived, however, when the sound of shattering mirrors rang out from the far side of the room. Baby Melon pulled on Steven’s arm, reminding him that trouble was still afoot. And that the other Watermelon Stevens were still on the attack. “Oh my gosh, you’re right, Baby Melon! We still have to go help the Gems! Come on, you guys!”
“We’ll catch up with you in a second!” Mabel called out after them as they ran into the maze. “So, I guess we should destroy this thing, huh?” She handed the size-changing flashlight over to Dipper. “You know, so it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands and junk?”
“Seems like the smart thing to do,” Dipper untied the crystal from the flashlight, letting it fall to the floor.
“Die!” Mabel shouted as she brutally smashed it with her foot. Only a second later, however, a small, but familiar voice happened to catch their attention.
“There you dudes are!” Soos shouted up at them, still extremely tiny. “I’ve been trying to get your attention!” And indeed he had, using several small shards of broken glass to spell out “Help Soos!” on the ground. Dipper and Mabel exchanged a horrified glance as they looked between the tiny handyman and the now-shattered crystal on the floor. It would take a while, but they knew exactly what they needed to do.
“Glue?”
“Lots of glue.”
Steven was shocked when he saw exactly how bad the battle between the Watermelon Stevens and the Gems had gotten. With wide eyes, he watched as Garnet slammed her fists into the melons clinging onto her leg, rendering them to mere chunks. Pearl spun her spear to cut several of the melons straight in half like the fruits they were. Meanwhile, Amethyst’s whip caught several of the melons at once, crushing them mercilessly in the process.
“Wait, don’t!” Steven tried to warn the Gems. By all accounts, this was the last thing he could have ever wanted for his precious watermelons. But thanks to Gideon forcing them into such senseless violence, the Watermelon Stevens were now forced to pay the ultimate price as they met their delicious demise.
Try as he might to get past the wall of watermelon standing between him and the Gems, Steven found it was a useless effort. Still, he wasn’t about to give up so soon. “Come on, Baby Melon! We have to stop this!”
Despite their valiant efforts, it wasn’t long before the living fruits began to outnumber and overpower the Gems. They ganged up on Garnet first, pouncing on her to the point that they easily dragged her down to the floor. Steven gasped when he saw this, desperate to put an end to this onslaught, before it was too late for either side of it.
“Everyone! Please stop!” he shouted, hoping that the Watermelon Stevens would heed his command. “Look! I’m ok! You don’t have to fight anymore!”
“Ahhh!” Amethyst’s frightened scream caught his attention. He spun around to see that the Watermelon Stevens had managed to subdue her, holding her down as several more of them dug a hole right outside the window. “They’re gonna put me in the ground!” Amethyst fearfully thrashed about, especially as another Watermelon Steven carried a large bouquet of violets up to the hole they planned on burying her in. “Those flowers are lovely!”
Before Steven could hurry over to help Amethyst, he was distracted by Pearl’s frustrated shout. “Let go of my spear, you little twerps!” she growled, trying to tug her weapon away from the melons that had latched onto it. “I’ll destroy you!”
With the situation only getting worse by the second, Steven shook his head, at a loss over how to stop it all. “This is bad, Baby Melly. How do we end this carnage?”
For a moment, Baby Melon was still as it solemnly shut its seed eyes. But in the end, it ultimately knew what it had to do. It knew what sacrifice it had to make.
And so, in a sudden, single move, Baby Melon took a swing and punched Steven squarely in the gut.
It didn’t hurt too much, but it was still enough to knock Steven off his feet. As surprised as he was by this sudden attack, he was even more confused when the Watermelon Stevens all suddenly stopped assaulting the Gems… and turned their attention on the smallest melon among them instead.
“B-Baby Melon?” Steven asked, concerned. And yet, Baby Melon simply stood where it was, holding its arms out wide as the whole of the watermelon horde pounced upon it. “No!” Steven cried, distraught as he jumped to his feet. “Let me through, you melon heads!” He forced his way into the crowd of crazed fruit just as they began to settle down–
But by then, it was already far too late.
Tears were already in Steven’s eyes as he glanced down at what little remained of Baby Melon. The miniature melon had been beaten to pieces; only a portion of its rind was left intact, filled with chunks of lifeless pink fruit. “B-Baby M-Melon…” he choked out a sob as he gently picked up what was left of his fallen friend. “I understand… You stopped the watermelons from fighting everyone else… by making them fight you…”
Deeply upset, Steven stood, holding Baby Melon’s remains high for all of the other Watermelon Stevens to see. “Look what you’ve done!” he shouted angrily, mournfully. “You think I wanted this?! You should all be ashamed! He knew this was what it would take to calm your rage! He… he understood true loyalty…”
A heavy silence passed as the Gems exchanged a glance, equally impressed and unnerved. Even so, Steven couldn’t stand to look at his rebellious melons any longer after all of the strife they had caused. After the innocent life they’d so viciously cut short. “Go!” Steven ordered, pointing at the door. “Think about what you’ve done! And don’t come back until you understand what he did for me. For all of us!”
This time, the Watermelon Stevens finally listened to him. Quietly and orderly, they marched out of the shack, ultimately disappearing into the woods outside. Stan started as several of them passed him by, less concerned that they could move on their own, and far more concerned with the fact that they were leaving .
“Hey! Hey!” he shouted as he ran up to Steven and the Gems. “Why is my money walking out the door?!”
“They’re doing what they need to, Mr. Pines,” Steven solemnly hung his head. “It’s the only way they can really grow.”
“They’re watermelons !” Stan protested. “They’ve already grown!”
“Um, did we miss anything?” Dipper asked as he, Mabel, and Soos joined the group. Fortunately, they’d managed to reconstruct the crystal enough to restore the handyman to his full height again. Only to miss the entire battle against the Watermelon Stevens in the process.
“You guys sure did,” Amethyst grinned. “Steven just thrashed his watermelon guys! It was awesome!”
“Oh no!” Mabel gasped when she saw what Steven was still cradling in his arms. “Is… is that… Baby Melon?! What happened?”
“He made the ultimate sacrifice…” Steven sighed sadly. “He was the true hero today…”
Despite his despair, he still looked up when he felt Garnet’s hand come to rest on his shoulder. “Spoken like a true king.”
“They don’t need a king,” Steven said, just shy of taking a few bites out of Baby Melon’s sweet remains. Still, he stole a glance up as the last of the Watermelon Stevens vanished into the woods, free to pursue their own fate, whatever it might be. “They’re their own melons now.”
In light of his most humiliating defeat yet, Gideon was seething . He’d stormed home, shouting vicious, violent threats to the Crystal Gems and the Pines family all the while. Still, he knew those threats wouldn’t be enough, not anymore. The time for simple games was over; next time, he wouldn’t back down so easily.
Next time, he wouldn’t rest until he won , once and for all.
“Aw, son, don’t you mind that Stanford Pines or those Crystal Gems,” Bud tried to console his son as he intensely paced around the living room. “You’ll get your revenge one of these days.”
“No!” Gideon furiously flipped over a chair. “It’s not just about revenge! I want that shack! The physical building!”
“But why?” Bud asked, confused.
“Because it holds a secret you couldn’t possibly imagine…” Gideon said, steeling his resolve. And, along with it, his vow to take each and every one of his enemies down, no matter what it might cost. “A secret that’ll help me get everything I’ve ever wanted… And no one, I mean no one is gonna keep me from gettin’ it…”
Notes:
Next time... the kiddos have an existential crisis thanks to Garnet.
Chapter 16: Future Vision
Summary:
When Garnet reveals her unique ability to see potential possibilities for the future, Steven and Dipper get a little carried away with worrying about all of the ways the future could go wrong.
Notes:
Wow, quick turnaround for two chapters in a row, huh? I was much more inspired with this one than I was the previous one though, and it was pretty fun to work on, to my surprise. Quick note before I begin, because I feel like some of you will be confused otherwise, but in new UF, I'm taking out a handful of plotpoints from old UF. Among them is anything having to do with Dipper having a crush on Wendy because I kind of think its 1. unnecessary for the plot of UF as a whole and 2. lowkey one of the cringiest parts of Gravity Falls??? So yeah, just keep that in mind here and in future chapters. With that outta the way, let's peer into the future (and meet Waddles ^_^).
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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Lazy afternoons in the Mystery Shack’s gift shop weren’t uncommon, but if there was anyone who knew how to get through the dull, dragging hours of her job, it was Wendy. Early on into the summer, she’d begun doling out her tips for getting out of work to Dipper and Mabel, along with ways to keep Stan from noticing. Today was no exception as they worked together to invent a new game to pass the idle time–dubbing over the shack’s video security feed in real time.
“‘Do you have this tee-shirt in my size?’” Dipper threw his voice a bit to voice over one of the gift shop patrons.
“‘I have something even better!” Wendy filled in Stan’s response as he happened to bend over. “Behold! My butt!”
The trio broke down laughing, though it was soon interrupted as Mabel spotted someone stepping into the shack. “Oh, look! It’s Steven–and Lion! I got this one!” She cleared her throat for what Dipper and Wendy assumed would be an impression. Only to use her usual voice to talk over Steven as he offered Stan a bright grin. “Hi, Grunkle Stan! It’s me, Steven and I’m carrying a box!’”
While Wendy let out a small chuckle, Dipper simply looked at his sister, incredulous. “Mabel, I don’t think you’re getting the point of this game.”
“Oo, you guys are playing a game?” Steven asked as he stepped up to the counter. Sure enough, he had a box full of stuffed animals in tow, one that he had to pull away from Lion lest he start chewing on its contents–again. “Mind if I join in? I’d love to get a break from clearing all of my old toys out of the temple.”
“Whoa, dude, that’s pretty mature of you,” Wendy said, impressed.
“Well, I knew this day had to come sooner or later,” Steven sighed, looking down at his box of toys. “It’s a little tough letting all of them go, but I’m a Crystal Gem. I’m a big boy now. And I’ve gotta stop saying things like ‘I’m a big boy now’.”
“Yeah,” Dipper chuckled, not noticing Steven’s sudden blush. “You might wanna hold off on that one.”
“Well, if you don’t want these cuties anymore, I’ll be more than happy to take a few of them off your hands,” Mabel reached into the box, grinning as she pulled a stuffed pig out. “Especially this guy! He’s so pink, so precious ! Just like Lion, only you know, more of a pig than a lion.”
Lion simply let out a contented growl as Mabel plopped the stuffed pig onto his head. “Wow, they’re practically twins,” Wendy joked, smirking.
“Yeah, they are!” Steven readily agreed as he handed the rest of his box over to Mabel. “Here, Mabel. You can have all of them if you want. That way, I can come and visit them any time!”
“Oh my gosh, thanks, Steven!” Mabel beamed. “These guys will fit in great with all the rest of my stuffed animals!”
“As if she needs any more to clutter the attic with,” Dipper deadpanned to Wendy, aside.
She snorted out a laugh, one that was soon cut short as Stan shouted for her from the museum. “Wendy! Some brat knocked over the Fiji mermaid tank again! Get in here and mop up, will ya?”
“Ugh,” Wendy groaned, shoving herself out of her seat. “Duty calls. Wish me luck–I always need it whenever that gross fake mermaid is involved.”
“Good luck!” the kids called after her. Almost as soon as soon as she left, however, Lion suddenly sat straight up from his spot, his lips curling back into a bitter snarl.
“Whoa, Lion, are you ok?” Steven frowned as he tried to calm his companion down. He paused, however, upon catching a sudden strong whiff of something in the air. “Hey, do you guys smell a gallon of body spray?”
The source of that smell soon became clear as Robbie approached the counter, a bored look on his face as he leaned against it. “Hey, have any of you dorks seen Wendy around?”
“Who wants to know?” Dipper asked, crossing his arms.
Robbie didn’t answer; instead, he raised a suspicious eyebrow down at Lion, who was still glaring up at him distrustfully. “What is that thing?” he asked. “The world’s most girly stuffed cat?”
“This is my lion, Lion,” Steven said.
“Sure, and I’m a panda,” Robbie scoffed. As he passed Lion by, however, the fuming feline didn’t hesitate to lash out, snipping at the teen and tripping him up when he caught his sneaker with his sharp teeth.
“Hey!” Robbie snapped, angrily reclaiming his shoe. He made a point of ignoring Dipper and Mabel laughing behind him as he shot Lion a fierce glare. “Stupid pink mutt. Stay outta my way!”
“Aw, Lion!” Steven hugged his pet in the hopes of both calming him down and reining him in. “Don’t be upset; you’re not stupid–you’re super smart!”
“Yeah!” Mabel agreed as she fixed Robbie with a scowl. “He just doesn’t like mean or grumpy people like you .”
“Tch, that thing nearly bit my leg off,” Robbie sneered, turning his nose up at the kids. “I’ll be as ‘mean’ and ‘grumpy’ as I want-”
“Robbie?”
He quickly cut himself off, letting out a sharp, high-pitched squeak as he spun around to face his girlfriend when she emerged from the museum. “W-Wendy! I, uh, was just… paling around with these dweebs and their, uh…” He winced when he caught sight of Lion growling at him again. “Totally not-rabid dog.”
“Lion,” Steven corrected.
“Whatever.”
“Uh huh…” Wendy crossed her arms, not impressed. “Sure you were.”
She didn’t have much else to say to him as she walked past him to reclaim her spot behind the counter. Robbie joined her, slicking his hair back as he tried his best to come across as “sauve”. “So, Wendy, Nate and his girlfriend are going to Lookout Point this weekend. Maybe we should go too?”
“Are you kidding me?!” Wendy shot him an incredulous look. “First you stand me up last night, then instead of apologizing, you want me to go with you to Lookout Point? You can’t honestly expect me to let you off that easily, Robbie.”
Sensing the rising tension between the couple, Dipper, Mabel, and Steven stepped back a bit to give them some privacy. Albeit not much as they continued eavesdropping from the far side of the gift shop, curious to see exactly what was about to unfold.
“Look, Robbie…” Wendy began, sighing. “I’m just… not sure this relationship is working. Maybe… maybe we should see other people.”
“Whoa, hey!” Robbie nervously exclaimed. “Before you do anything crazy, I, uh… I want you to hear this.” He reached into his hoodie, pulling out a CD. Strangely, its dark surface seemed to glisten in the light, catching the eye of all three of the kids as they watched Robbie put the disc into the CD player.
“I wrote this song just for you,” Robbie said as a brooding tune began to play, one that he sang along to just as moodily. “When I think about you, I feel feelings so deep. I’m tossing and turning, and you know I’m losing sleep.”
“Yeesh,” Dipper cringed over the song’s sappy lyrics.
“Aw, I think it's kind of sweet!” Mabel exclaimed, grinning.
“Yeah, sweet enough to rot someone’s teeth out,” Dipper deadpanned, rolling his eyes.
“And I know I’m goin’ crazy when I look into your eyes,” Robbie continued singing. It wasn’t lost on him–or any of the kids–when Wendy abruptly went from barely listening to turning her rapt attention over to him. “Just listen to this song, and you’ll be hypnotai-ai-ai-zed.”
By the time Robbie finished the song off, Wendy was inexplicably awestruck. Her eyes were wide while her mouth hung agape, at least until she shook her head, almost as if she were breaking out of some sort of daze. “You know what?” she said, finally slipping on a small smile. “Maybe I was being too hasty. I’ll give you another chance.”
“Yes!” Robbie cheered as Wendy gave him a kiss on the cheek. The kids, meanwhile, couldn’t help but be confused over what they’d just seen.
“How’d he do that?” Dipper wondered, bewildered.
“Do what?” Steven asked.
“Get Wendy to change her mind with nothing but a sappy song!” Dipper shook his head. “It just doesn’t make any sense…”
“Boys, boys, boys,” Mabel said with a knowing grin. “You just don’t get it. If there’s one thing ladies love more than anything, it's being sweetly serenaded by a charming prince. Of course, Robbie isn’t really what I’d call ‘charming’ or a ‘prince’ so… maybe he just got lucky?”
“Yeah, and maybe Robbie doesn’t smother his hair in gallons of hair gel every day,” Dipper dryly retorted.
“Let me go grab my coat,” Wendy headed back into the den. Unable to quell his rising suspicions any longer, Dipper approached the teen in the hopes of getting to the bottom of this newfound mystery.
“Alright, Robbie, we saw that weird CD,” he began. “What the heck are you up to?”
“It’s called romance, kid,” the teen sneered. “Something you’d never understand.”
“So… is that CD made out of romance then?” Steven asked, confused.
“What? No,” Robbie scoffed. “But it might as well be, with how well it worked.”
Before the kids could pry any further, Wendy returned, sending Robbie an affectionate grin. “You ready?” she asked, linking arms with him. “I can’t believe you wrote that song for me.”
“I know. I’m just so insanely talented,” Robbie smugly agreed as he led Wendy out of the shack.
“Ugh, Wendy, girl, what are you doing?” Mabel groaned, even though Wendy was long since out of earshot. “She’s way too good and fun to be going out with a lame guy like Robbie .”
“Aw, I dunno, you guys,” Steven shrugged. “I think they make a pretty cute couple. Plus that song Robbie wrote was–” He stopped short when he noticed Dipper, inspecting the CD Robbie had left behind by, strangely enough, sniffing it. “Uh… what are you doing?”
“Ok, look,” Dipper held the CD up for the pair to see. Sure enough, it was quite unlike any other disc they’d ever seen before, practically pitch black as it dully reflected the light around it. “Call me crazy, but I think Robbie might have used his song to hypnotize Wendy!”
“Whoa….” Steven gasped. “But… I thought you needed a watch to hypnotize people…”
“I’m sure music could do it somehow too!” Dipper countered. “How else would Robbie get Wendy to forgive him just like that?”
“Maybe Wendy just liked the song?” Mabel shrugged, not convinced. “Not everything has to be some sort of bonkers conspiracy, Dipper. Music just has a way of bringing people together.”
“Yeah!” Steven agreed. “Take my mom and dad for example; they first met at one of my dad’s concerts and they fell in love!”
“Yeah, but this is totally different,” Dipper argued.
“Different… how, exactly?” Mabel asked.
“It just is!” Dipper huffed, annoyed. “Mabel, you said so yourself: Wendy is too good for Robbie, and she doesn’t even realize it! And how can she, if he’s just gonna keep using music to mind control her into liking him?”
“Hm…” Steven tapped his chin as he approached a nearby shelf to check out a new snow globe. “You know, maybe you do have a point-” He was suddenly cut off when, without warning, the shelf he was reaching for snapped clean off its rusty hinges. Steven let out a fearful cry as its contents began tumbling down at him, only for someone to slip in front of him, saving him just in time.
“Garnet!” Steven gasped as he watched her take the brunt of the snow globes shattering all over her. Not that she was even remotely bothered by them.
“Good afternoon to you, Steven,” Garnet nodded down at him and the twins. “Dipper, Mabel.”
“Oh my gosh! Garnet, are you ok?” Dipper asked, alarmed. He had every reason to be too, for all of the bits of broken glass poking out of Garnet’s hair.
“I’m fine,” Garnet confirmed as she plucked a few of those shards out of her afro. “I’ve taken a lot worse hits than that.”
“Hey, hey, hey!” Stan shouted as he stormed into the shop. “Who’s in here breaking all my merchandise?!” He paused, turning even more sullen as soon as he spotted Garnet standing in the midst of the mess. “Oh, I should have figured.”
“Garnet didn’t break anything, Mr. Pines,” Steven explained. “She saved me! Boy, Garnet, I sure am lucky you showed up when you did.”
“Luck’s got nothing to do with it,” Garnet said, adjusting her shades.
“Ooo, that sounds mysterious ,” Mabel said with a curious grin. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Garnet said as she turned to leave. The kids, however, weren’t about to let her slip away so easily.
“Hey! Aren’t you gonna pay for all this stuff?!” Stan called after Garnet as the kids followed. As intrigued as they were, Stan was left to be all but ignored.
“Oh, come on!” Steven begged as he ran to keep up with Garnet. “How do you always know where to be?”
“Seriously, it’s almost kind of creepy how you seem to know what’s going to happen before it happens,” Dipper agreed. “What’s up with that?”
Garnet stopped just shy of the door, her hands on her hips as she looked between the trio of kids, all staring up at her expectantly. “I don’t think you three can handle that information.”
“What? No way! We can totally handle it!” Dipper protested.
“Yeah! We can handle anything !” Mabel zealously added.
“Yeah! I’m a big b—large man now,” Steven said, catching himself just in time.
Under the pleading smiles all three of the kids were sending her way, it didn’t take long for Garnet to cave and tell them. For better or worse. “Well…. I guess you could say I have a sort of… future vision.”
“Future what?” Dipper repeated, puzzled.
“Future vision?” Stan raised an eyebrow. “You mean like some sort of hokey crystal ball-reading fortune teller? You know, my ma used to dabble in that. She was living proof that kind of stuff is just about the biggest sham there is.”
“Well, this isn’t,” Garnet shook her head. “I’m able to see possible outcomes to most situations. Which comes in handy, since you kids seem to attract a lot of danger.”
“Well, danger is my middle name,” Steven grinned, trying to act tough.
“That’s a lie,” Garnet knelt down to his level, giving him a playful tap on the nose. “Your middle name… is cutie pie.”
“So let me get this straight,” Dipper cut in. “You can see into the future?”
“No one can see into the future,” Garnet replied, standing. “I can see objects and trajectories. Time is like a river that splits into creeks or pools into lakes or careens down waterfalls. I have the map, and I steer the ship.”
“Whoa… like a time pirate!” Mabel exclaimed, grinning.
“Something like that,” Garnet said with a small, sly smirk.
“Pfft, this whole ‘future vision’ thing still sounds like a bunch of baloney to me,” Stan scoffed. “If you can really see what’s gonna happen in the future, then what am I about to do right now?”
“I just said I can’t see into the future,” Garnet corrected. “But as for what you might do in the future… You’ll probably send Soos in here to clean up this mess and then go back to stocking meat up for the apocalypse.”
“Ha! Shows what you know, shades!” Stan grinned smugly. “I wasn’t planning on doing any of that! It just goes to show that fortune telling or future vision or whatever it was you called it is completely bogus.”
Without sparing another word, Stan turned on his heel and headed back into the house, though not before he unintentionally proved Garnet’s vision to be completely correct. “Soos! There’s a huge mess in the gift shop!” he called. “Get in there and clean it up for me, will ya!? I’m busy stocking up on all of that brown meat I have to get ready for the apocalypse!”
“Wow! That’s amazing!” Mabel looked up at Garnet with stars in her eyes. “Everything you said totally came true, Garnet!”
“It doesn’t always work out exactly like I say it will,” Garnet said. “But most of the time, I’m pretty close to the mark, at least.”
“Ok… I think I get it now…” Dipper began, thoughtful. “So, your… future vision lets you see possibilities of what could happen in the future… Am I right?”
“You got it,” Garnet nodded.
“Oh! Oh!” Steven exclaimed, raising his hand. “What do you see happening next, Garnet?”
“Hm…” Garnet paused, thinking for a moment as another vision came to her. “A farm truck is about to break down in front of the shack.”
Before any of the kids could question this, the loud sound of a truck backfiring sounded from right outside. Curious, the kids ran out to find that, sure enough, a truck had stalled in the yard. The farmer driving it stood before its open hood, completely confused as to what the problem with his vehicle could possibly be.
“No way…” Steven gasped as Garnet joined them. “Your future vision really is spot on!”
“Mm hm,” Garnet nodded as she shifted her shades once more.
“Do you need any help over there?” Mabel called over to the farmer.
“Aw, consarnit!” the farmer pulled his head up from the hood, revealing his face smeared with engine oil. “I just can’t figure out what’s wrong with ol’ Bessie here!”
“Oo, maybe I can help!” Mabel volunteered as she ran over.
“Mabel, you don’t know the first thing about how to fix a truck,” Dipper dryly pointed out.
“Maybe I don’t,” Mabel shrugged as she offered Garnet a hopeful grin. “But Garnet’s future vision might!”
Garnet smirked, not even needing to take a closer look at the truck to foresee what might be stalling it. “Check just to the left of the engine,” she advised.
Mabel did exactly that, gasping as she grabbed onto something and pulled it out. “Aha! Here’s your problem! You’ve got a potato stuck in there!” she held the vegetable up before dropping into the farmer’s hands.
“So that’s where this sneaky little feller rolled off to!” the farmer exclaimed, baffled. He wasted no time turning his key again, and just like that, the truck’s ignition roared to life once more. “Gosh and golly gee, little lady! You really saved me and my bacon– literally !” He headed over to the back of his truck, flinging it open to reveal his impressive haul of-
“PIGS!” Mabel squealed, delighted, when she saw the herd of piglets packed into the truck bed.
“Yes, siree,” the farmer nodded. “I was just on my way to market with ‘em when Bessie gave up the ghost. Say…” he tapped his chin as a sudden idea came to him. “How’s about you take one of the lil’ critters, little lady? Consider it my way of sayin’ thanks for reuniting me with my precious Spudsy here.” He grinned as he lovingly caressed his prized potato.
“No. Way.” Mabel gaped, utterly awestruck. “Really?”
The farmer nodded, grinning. “Go on. Pick any one of the little porkers ya want.”
With a wide, eager smile, Mabel looked over the herd, scarcely able to pick between all of the immensely adorable piglets. Eventually though, one particular pig caught her eye, the smallest of the bunch, and by far the pinkest .
If she wasn’t already taken with the tiny piglet before, Mabel was even more dazzled when it let out a bright, adorable oink. “He said ‘Mabel’!” she gasped, beaming. “Either that or doorbell. Did you say ‘Mabel’ or ‘doorbell’?”
The pig oinked again, and that was all it took for Mabel to make her choice. “This one!” She reached forward, grabbing the piglet and hugging it tight. “He’s perfect !”
“Welp, he’s all yours,” the farmer concluded. “And so are these.” He handed her a fork and knife, confused when Mabel winced away from them. “What?”
“Oh wow!” Steven exclaimed, excited. “That’s so cool! Having a stuffed pig is one thing, but now Mabel has a real pet pig! What do you think she’s gonna name it?”
Once again, Garnet consulted her future vision, smiling warmly as she offered up an educated guess. “Waddles.”
“I’m gonna name you… Waddles !” Mabel quickly proved her right. She proudly cradled her new pet, hardly even noticing as the farmer drove off to continue on his way. “What do you guys think?” She ran back over to Steven, Dipper, and Garnet, more than happy to show Waddles off. “Isn’t he just the cutest little thing you’ve ever seen?”
“Yeah!” Steven chuckled as he fondly scratched Waddles behind the ear. Likewise, Garnet nodded as she lightly patted the pig on his head.
“Uh, sure he is,” Dipper frowned, gently pushing Waddles away when Mabel shoved him into his face.
“Oh my gosh, Lion!” Mabel practically screamed, beside herself with excitement as the feline strolled out into the yard. “Get over here and meet Waddles! I can already tell you two are gonna be the best of pink pals ever !”
Steven gasped, just as enthralled by the idea. He nearly followed Mabel as she ran over to introduce their pets, but instead, he stopped short as he looked back at Garnet, deeply impressed. “I can’t believe how right you were about all this, Garnet!” he exclaimed.“How come you’ve never told us about this whole future vision thing before now?”
Garnet was quiet for a moment, her smile slowly fading as she looked between the boys before her and said, “You’ll figure that out soon enough.”
While Dipper wanted to press her for more, he stopped short when he overheard laughter coming from the other side of the yard. There, Wendy and Robbie were hanging out near the teen’s van, something that Dipper still couldn’t help but find suspicious. But even if he couldn’t quite put his finger on what was wrong with that picture, that didn’t mean someone else couldn’t.
Someone who could just so happen to peer into all of the possibilities the future had to offer.
“Say, um, Garnet…” Dipper began a bit leadingly. “Since you can, you know, see what might happen in the future and everything, I was wondering if you’d be willing to-”
“You want me to help you break Wendy and Robbie up,” Garnet finished.
“I mean, I wouldn’t have put it that bluntly, but yeah, I guess?” Dipper shrugged. “Or at least help us figure out how he convinced her not to break up with him before. So, maybe you could just-”
“No.”
“What? But why not?” Dipper asked, dismayed. “All I need is a little intel. It won’t be hard!”
“That’s not the point, Dipper,” Garnet shook her head. “It would be wrong for me to help you break a couple apart. Future vision or not, I don’t support getting in the way of love of any kind.”
“Oh, that is true,” Steven nodded. “Garnet is a big fan of romance.”
“More than you know,” Garnet muttered, smiling slyly.
“Yeah but… but what if Wendy and Robbie aren’t really meant to be together after all?” Dipper countered. “Just today, Wendy almost broke up with Robbie, but then he won her over again using this!” He pulled the CD out of his pocket, holding it out for Garnet to see.
“That’s a disk,” she noted flatly.
“No, no, he sang this really cheesy song to her and it somehow convinced her or brainwashed her or did something to her that made her fall in love with him all over again!” Dipper sighed, exasperated as he handed the disk over to Garnet. “That doesn’t sound like true love, does it?”
“Hm…” Garnet looked between the CD and the couple in question, casually flirting with each other in the distance. While her future vision didn’t offer any immediate answers, her intuition alone was enough to tell her something was indeed off here after all. “No, it doesn’t.”
“So… you’ll help us out then?” Dipper asked with a hopeful smile.
“Yes,” Garnet nodded, still staring at the disc in her hand. “But only because there’s more to this than there appears.”
“Like what?” Steven asked, curious.
Garnet finally smirked as she knelt down to the boys’ level, wrapping her arms around their shoulders. “We’ll just have to figure that out for ourselves.”
As it turned out, Lion and Waddles hit it off almost immediately. As soon as Mabel sat the two of them next to each other, they quickly took to each other as if they’d always been the best of friends. Even now, Mabel watched, completely enchanted, as the pair cuddled up close to each other in the shack’s den, with Waddles happily napping in Lion’s soft, thick mane.
“I have gotta be the luckiest girl in the entire world…” she whispered, completely captivated by the snoozing duo.
Despite how adorable the pink pair was, Dipper, Steven, and Garnet were far too distracted to pay them much mind. Instead, they sat around Robbie’s CD, following Garnet’s suggestion that they “look further into it”. Little did either of the boys know she meant that literally .
“So… is something supposed to be happening?” Dipper asked after a long bout of silence.
“Maybe the CD will get up and start talking!” Steven theorized. “Then it might be able to tell us whether it's really hypnotic or not!”
“No,” Garnet shook her head. “We’re simply analyzing it for now.”
“For what exactly?” Dipper frowned.
“Proof.”
“So have you found any proof yet, Garnet?” Steven asked.
“Not yet, but we will,” Garnet adjusted her shades. “Trust me.”
Dipper sighed as he leaned back in his chair, struggling to do that. For as much as Garnet had already proven her foresight’s accuracy before, it wasn’t really doing much to help them now. Still, if she believed this would yield results, he figured he might as well go along with it. Anything to prove himself right, anything to help Wendy get out from Robbie’s apparent, underhanded control.
For however intensive their “analysis” might have been, it was soon interrupted when Stan walked into the den. He stopped in his tracks, surprised when he noticed not just one, but two pink creatures occupying his recliner. “Hey, hey!” he shouted, storming over to them. He simply sneered as Lion offered him a low, sleepy growl. “Yeah, right back at ya, bud. And where the heck did that thing come from?” he asked, glaring down at Waddles.
“Grunkle Stan, meet Waddles!” Mabel grinned as she popped up from the other side of the recliner. “I got him off the back of a truck! He’s gonna live here now. Isn’t that great?”
“Oh, he is now?” Stan scoffed, hands on his hips. “That’s funny. I thought I ran a tourist trap here, not a barn.”
“Aw, Grunkle Stan, please let me keep him!” Mabel pleaded, putting on the most convincing pout she could. “I promise I’ll take super good care of him! I’ll keep him clean and fed and I’ll make sure he doesn’t get into any of your favorite snacks and-”
“You might as well go ahead and say yes, Stan,” Garnet spoke up from the other side of the room.”You know you’re going to let her keep him anyway.”
“W-wha–how do you-” Stan cut himself off with a frustrated, relenting groan. “Fine, whatever, keep the stupid pig! But I better not catch that little runt rooting around in any of my secret cash stashes or else he’s outta here!”
“Yes!” Mabel cheered, waking Waddles up from his nap as she gave him a celebratory hug.
“And as for you three,” Stan turned to face the group at the table. “What are you up to over there? Don’t tell me you’re trying to ‘gaze into the future’ by staring into that disc or something.”
“We’re analyzing it!” Steven replied, smiling.
“There’s… a little more to it than that,” Dipper countered. “But you wouldn’t understand.”
“Aw, c’mon, kid,” Stan rolled his eyes as he took a seat. “Try me.”
“Well… this might sound weird…” Dipper began. “But I think Robbie might be brainwashing Wendy with music.”
“So we’re looking at his CD to try and find proof,” Steven added. “Right Garnet?”
“Right,” Garnet nodded.
To the boys’ surprise, Stan’s skeptical expression completely faded into a much more serious look. “I’ve seen this before.”
“Really?” Dipper asked, surprised.
Stan nodded gravely, mournfully. “Her name was Carla McCorkle. Carla ‘Hotpants’ McCorkle. Me and Carla baby would cut a rug together at The Juke Joint, our favorite 50’s themed 1970’s diner. For a while, everything was all sunshine and roses between us. Then one day, this new-aged tree-hugger starts playing his transcendental hippie music. Carla’s hotpants turned into bellbottoms before I even knew what happened. And then they shot off into space in an explosion of rainbows.”
“Whoa, really?!” Steven asked, amazed.
“Eh, my memories get a little hallucinationy at the end, but you get the gist.”
“Wait, so you actually believe my theory?” Dipper asked.
“You’re darn right I do!” Stan firmly exclaimed. “And we’re gonna get to the bottom of it!”
“That’s what we were already doing,” Garnet pointed out.
“What, by staring at that record or whatever it is?” Stan scoffed. “You’re not gonna get anywhere just by looking at it.”
“So what should we do?” Steven asked, before letting out an excited gasp. “Wait, wait! Garnet! What is Mr. Pines going to say we should do?”
“Kid, what-” Stan tried to ask before Garnet interrupted.
“The most probable outcome is that he’ll say we should check the CD for any subliminal messages. It’s a pretty good idea, actually.”
“...Tch, lucky guess,” Stan crossed his arms. “Y’see, kids, music has subliminal mind control hidden in it all the time. If you listen closely, even the music I play in the gift shop has subtle hidden messages.”
“Oh, like the really loud one about buying more keychains?” Steven asked.
“That’s just one of many,” Stan smirked, taking the CD as he headed to the record player. “If you wanna hear mind controlling messages, you gotta slow the record down. Let’s try it out with this LP.”
“That isn’t going to work,” Garnet warned as Stan put the disk on the record player.
“Why? Because your ‘future vision’ told you so?” Stan deadpanned as he put the needle on the CD. Of course, it wasn’t a record, which was why the only sound it produced was an earsplitting, unintelligible scratch.
“No, because common sense told me so,” Garnet returned just as dryly.
“What kind of subliminal message is that?” Steven asked, frowning.
“Probably not the one we’re looking for,” Dipper flatly replied.
For his part, Stan could only stare at the record player, baffled as the needle continued skipping over a CD that clearly wasn’t meant for it. “We’re doing something wrong here, but I can’t put my finger on it…”
“Alrighty, we’ve got the butterfly hat for Waddles,” Mabel smiled as she finished tying the themed hat onto the pig’s head. “And the ladybug hat for–Lion, no!” She gasped when she turned to Lion, only to find that he’d ripped the much-too-small hat off his head in favor of gnawing on it. “I just finished knitting that! Drop it!” She ran after Lion as he trotted off, ladybug hat still held tight in his maw. “ Drop it !”
As she chased him through the kitchen and out into the yard, the group sitting around the table barely even glanced up. Instead, they kept their focus on the CD they’d been focusing on for well over an hour now, each of them trying to come up with some way to unlock its unheard secrets.
“So what if we up the pitch a whole lot? Will that do anything?” Dipper asked Garnet. By now, he was all but relying on her for estimates on any idea, hoping that her future vision would be able to guide them to the right one.
“Chances are that’ll probably just make the song sound even more grating,” Garnet stoically replied.
“Ok… maybe we should translate the song into another language and then translate it back,” Dipper proposed. “Maybe that’ll give us something.”
“The probability of it being anything understandable is extremely low…”
“Oh, come on!” Dipper groaned, facepalming. “What else could we possibly do?”
“You’ve listed off just about everything we can do, kid,” Stan deadpanned as he got himself a can of soda from the fridge. “The only thing you haven’t thought of is to break the disk in half to see if any secret note or hidden code pops out.”
“Now that definitely wouldn’t work,” Garnet confirmed.
“Ugh! This was so stupid!” Dipper exclaimed, frustrated. “Of course there’s no hidden mind control messages in that song! We’ve been wasting all this time on nothing.”
“Hm…” Steven mused, picking up the CD nonetheless. Even if Dipper was on the verge of giving up, that didn’t stop the idea that suddenly came to him upon examining the disc one final time. “Oh! I know! What if we play the song backwards!?”
“Backwards?” Dipper and Stan repeated in confused unison. Garnet, on the other hand, finally cracked a smirk at this suggestion.
“You might be onto something with that, Steven,” she said, pressing the rewind button on the CD player. This time, however, instead of an unintelligible bunch of nonsense, a very clear, very ominous message came through:
“You are under my control. Your mind is mine.”
“Holy mackerel!” Stan spat out his soda, shocked.
“Bingo,” Garnet nodded knowingly.
“Wow!” Steven gasped, awestruck. “It looks like you were right after all, Dipper!”
“I know!” Dipper exclaimed with a small, relieved laugh. “It really is mind control! Oh my gosh! We have to tell Wendy!”
“Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face!” Stan grinned vengefully.
“You might want to be careful about how you let Wendy know, Dipper,” Garnet cautioned.
“What? Why?” Dipper asked, confused. “This’ll be simple: we show Wendy the message, she breaks up with Robbie, and he gets humiliated like the total jerk he is. How could anything possibly go wrong with that?”
Garnet opened her mouth, more than ready to list all of the outcomes she could see. Before she could get a single one of them out, however, Wendy strolled into the room with Robbie trailing not far behind her.
“Hey, guys,” she greeted the group at the table with a brief grin. “Forgot my keys.”
As she slipped into the gift shop to get them, Robbie hung back, raising an eyebrow at the equipment they’d been using to analyze the CD. “What’s all this junk?” he asked, shooting Dipper and Steven a condescending smirk. “Are you dweebs trying to figure out how to be less lame? Heh, good luck with that.”
If Dipper needed any further motivation to move forward with exposing Robbie, that snide remark was more than enough to convince him. Even despite Garnet offering him a silent, simple warning as she shook her head.
Robbie quickly put a fake, charming grin back on as Wendy returned to the room. “Ready to go to Lookout Point?” she asked, smiling fondly.
“Am I!” Robbie grinned as they began to head out. “Later, dorks. Catch you on the rewind!”
“Wendy, wait!” Dipper called her.
“What’s up, dude?” she asked, turning back to him curiously.
“Um, well..” Dipper hesitated, sparing a glance over at Garnet. She said nothing, simply crossing her arms as she left him to make the final call. And, with whatever warning she tried to give him now unclear, he had little other options than to take the leap. Regardless of how it might go.
“There’s something you need to hear,” he said, resolved. He pressed play on the CD, letting the love song roll normally first, before he hit rewind to reveal the secret message hidden behind it.
“You are under my control. Your mind is mine.”
Wendy gasped, floored by what she was hearing. “Whoa,” she turned to her boyfriend, eyes wide with alarm. “Robbie, what is that doing in our song?”
“B-baby, I promise, I didn’t know anything about that message!” Robbie exclaimed defensively. “In fact, I didn’t even write that song. I ripped it off from some other band! So we’re all good, right?”
“No, we’re not all good!” Wendy scoffed, aptly angry. “I don’t care about the messages. You said you wrote that song for me, and I actually thought it was sweet, you big liar!”
“I know, I know,” Robbie rubbed the back of his neck. “I lie about a lot of stuff. Like using your makeup and fighting a bear, although-”
“No. You know what? It’s over, Robbie. We’re through!” Wendy sternly, bitterly exclaimed.
“What?! Wendy!”
“Just… just go, Robbie, ok?” Wendy sighed, turning away from her now ex-boyfriend.
“But Wendy, I-” Robbie began. Whatever he wanted to say, however, ultimately fell through when he realized just how majorly he’d messed up. “Oh man…”
“Look, if it makes you feel any better, the apocalypse is coming soon,” Stan told the depressed teen as he hung his head in shame. “Bury your gold! You’ve been buying gold, right?”
“Aw, Wendy, we’re so sorry about what happened with you and Robbie,” Steven frowned sympathetically.
“But, you know, since your night is free now, maybe you’d like to go bowling or something with all of us instead?” Dipper suggested with a reassuring smile. Despite this effort to cheer her up, however, it almost immediately fell through as Wendy spun back around, tears in her eyes.
“Are you serious right now?!” she exclaimed hotly. “I just found out my boyfriend was lying to me for who knows how long! The last thing I wanna do is hang out! Ugh, what is wrong with guys? You only think about yourselves! All of you should just leave me alone!”
Before anyone could try to stop her, Wendy stormed out, still in tears even as Robbie ran after her. “Wendy, baby, wait! I’m sorry! Wait!”
“Well… that could have gone a lot better…” Steven exchanged a fretful frown with Dipper. Because even if their intentions had been good, they’d ultimately ended up hurting their friend instead of helping her. An outcome that, for as much as he wanted to be proven right, Dipper wished he’d had the foresight to see coming.
But even if he hadn’t, he was quickly reminded someone else had instead. Garnet stepped forward, arms crossed and her face set in a disappointed frown down at Dipper. He could only sheepishly meet it as he rubbed his arm and said, “Uh… so I guess I should have waited and listened to all those outcomes, huh?”
“Mmm hmm,” Garnet simply nodded.
“Well, maybe we could have avoided that mess if you’d just told the kid some of those ‘outcomes’, don’t ya think?” Stan shot Garnet a critical look.
“I tried,” Garnet shrugged as she took her leave.
At the same time, Dipper and Steven exchanged a wide-eyed, worried glance. Because if not listening to Garnet’s future vision could lead to trouble like this, then what else could it cause? What other disasters could they forestall or even avoid, if they only heeded the wisdom she was so willing to give them? What other frightful futures could they find facing living if they didn’t ?
With all of those troubling questions in mind, one thing was perfectly clear: Garnet held all of the answers to what the future might hold. Answers that Steven and Dipper were downright desperate to hear.
“Garnet, wait!” the boys exclaimed in frantic unison, all but scrambling over each other to follow her. To seek her guidance when it came to every aspect of their futures, both big and small
Stan simply shrugged as they left him behind, hardly noticing their rising panic. “Geez. So much drama with those two. What do you think, pig?” he asked Waddles. The pig simply offered a small oink as he passed by; honestly though, it was more than Stan had been expecting out of him. “Huh. Good talk.”
“Garnet!” Steven and Dipper managed to quickly catch up with Garnet as she stepped off the shack’s porch. She stopped short, looking down at the pair expectantly as they made their anxious appeal.
“Uh, e-even though all this secret message stuff is over with,” Steven began, wringing his hands nervously. “You wouldn’t happen to want to spend the rest of the afternoon hanging out with us, would you?”
“You know, j-just because?” Dipper added with a wide, wavering grin. “Not for any particular reason, e-especially not any that has to do with your future vision.”
“I have a feeling it does have to do with that,” Garnet said, hands on her hips. “Still, I’ll join you two as you head into town.” She folded into a small smile as she continued on her way, letting the boys follow close behind her as they both heaved a relieved sigh.
“Um, so,” Dipper cleared his throat to keep it from coming out too tight. “Just out of curiosity… there’s not anything… bad that could happen to us on the way to town… is there?”
“Hm…” Garnet looked around the surrounding forest before offering her intel. “Well, for starters, an old tree could fall and completely crush you both.”
“O-oh?” Steven asked as he broke into a cold sweat.
“You could step into a patch of poison ivy–or poison oak”
“R-really?” Dipper warily searched the ground for the offending plants.
“Or a pack of ravenous foxes could mistake you for their next meal and attack.”
“Um…” The boys looked at each other, aptly afraid in light of all of the many different ways they could meet their demise. Ways they never would have even considered before now.
“W-well, it’s a good thing we’re almost there!” Steven said, relieved as he spotted the first signs of town peeking past the trees. Thankfully, they arrived without any foretold harm befalling them, though that didn’t mean they were completely in the clear just yet.
“There can’t be any unforeseen danger just from walking down Main Street, right?” Dipper stopped just shy of turning in that direction.
“If the two of you head down Main Street,” Garnet began a lengthy, daunting list. “Then one of you might trip on a crack in the sidewalk and scrape your knees. Or you both could be robbed by a passing mugger. Or you could cross the street without looking both ways and get hit by a truck.”
“I guess we aren’t taking Main Street then…” Dipper muttered, swiftly turning in the opposite direction.
“What if I just order some fry bits?” Steven asked as they approached Gravity Fries. “Are there any possible futures where we might get hurt by that?”
“Hmm…” Garnet mused before bluntly saying, “Tons.”
“Like?” Dipper stressfully pressed.
“Well, for starters, Steven, you could be just going about your business, eating your fry bits, and suddenly you choke to death! Or you could both get so distracted that you fall down a manhole. You could get food poisoning, or be bullied by wasps. And that’s just a few instances off the top of my head.”
As Garnet listed each deadly outcome, the boys’ eyes widened in increasing horror. With each suggestion came another way they could be injured, another way their lives could end , all so simple, all so sudden, all so unforeseeable. Or at least they used to be.
“W-what if we stand perfectly still?” Steven asked, trying his best to do exactly that.
“You’ll probably get a really bad sunburn,” Garnet shrugged as she began to walk off. Of course, the boys hurried after her, not wanting to risk a single moment without her intel. Without knowing what disasters seemed to await them around every last corner.
“Garnet, wait! What’ll happen if we go by the lake?” Dipper anxiously asked. “Will we get eaten by some sort of freshwater shark or something?”
“Or what if we go to the Big Donut?” Steven asked, his hands curled tight into trembling fists. “Are there any futures where the sign might fall on us?”
“O-or a future where we head back to the Mystery Shack and it catches on fire in a freak accident?”
“ Or a future where we’re just walking along and all of the sudden Cookie Cat comes down from space and turns out to be evil and zaps us with his spaceship and we-”
“Steven! Dipper!” Garnet suddenly cut them both off. By now, they’d come full circle, making it all the back to the crossroads between the temple and the shack. “Both of you need to calm down. Nothing bad is going to happen to either of you.”
“But you keep telling us about all of the bad things that might happen!” Dipper protested. “How do you expect us not to freak out about that?!”
“Just because I see all of those terrible possibilities doesn't mean they’ll be the ones to actually happen in the end,” Garnet rationalized.
“But… but we…” Steven trailed off as Garnet knelt down to his level, placing a hand on both his and Dipper’s shoulders.
“Listen,” she said. “I have to go on a solo mission and I need both of you to stay here.”
“You’re leaving?!” Steven clung onto her arm as tightly as he could. “You can’t go! We need you!”
“Yeah!” Dipper agreed, just as distressed. “At least tell us what’ll happen if we-”
“Shh,” Garnet calmly quieted them both. “ “I can’t be with either of you all of the time. Just trust me when I say that you both are in control.”
She offered them a soft, reassuring smile, one that the boys slowly found themselves sharing. At least until they heard the final warning Garnet had for them. “One more thing,” she said, her tone suddenly deadly serious. “It’s going to storm later. Do not go outside when it does. No matter what!”
Without another word, Garnet leapt off towards the temple. And as she did, she left a pair of very confused, deeply concerned boys behind in her wake, struggling to make sense of what she’d just said.
Struggling to face a future neither of them were able to clearly see.
“One popcorn for you,” Mabel grinned as she tossed a piece of popcorn up into the air. While Waddles didn’t catch it, he did blink adorably as it lightly bounced off his head. Still, he readily ate it as it fell back onto the bed before him. “And one popcorn for me!” Mabel tossed another piece up, and much like Waddles, it also missed her mouth. Not that she minded much as she continued munching on her snack alongside her pink pet. As far as she was concerned, it was the perfect snack to enjoy while she watched the major meltdown unfolding on the other side of the attic room.
“Why did she tell us not to go outside during the storm?” Steven asked, pacing in step alongside Dipper. “What will happen if we do?”
“ Anything could happen!” Dipper exclaimed as he ran a hand through his hair. “We could get struck by lightning, or… or get carried away by a flash flood-”
“Or we could get soaked by the rain and get really sick and die!” Steven proposed, frantic. “Or tons of other terrible things we probably haven’t even thought of! What are we gonna do, Dipper?! What are we gonna do ?”
“You think I know!?” Dipper pulled back from Steven after he grabbed him by the vest and shook him. “Garnet’s the one with all the answers about the future and she’s gone! Until she gets back, who knows what might happen?!”
“What are you two freaking out about?” Stan poked his head into the attic. “What, are you still crying about how Wendy yelled at you, kid?” he asked Dipper.
“No, but thanks for reopening that wound,” Dipper said, frowning.
“Garnet left to go on a mission,” Steven explained. “Which means she can’t tell us what’s gonna happen in the future, which means we don’t know what’s gonna happen, which means anything could happen, which means-”
“Geez, kid, slow down!” Stan interrupted. “You keep talking that fast, then you’ll get a speeding ticket. Ha!”
“Grunkle Stan, this is serious!” Dipper stressed. “Our lives could be in danger!”
“Oh what? Just because shades isn’t here to give you a weather forecast?” Stan scoffed.“I don’t know why you two are worrying so much about stuff that might happen. Who cares about the future? You can’t control it anyway.”
“That’s exactly what we’re afraid of…” Steven sighed.
“Listen, kids,” Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. Even so, what he had to tell the pair next was surprisingly sincere. “Both of you should get your heads out of the future and start living in the now, just like I do. Plus, the way I see it, the long term doesn’t really matter anyway, what with the apocalypse coming up and everything.”
With this, he left the pair to heed his advice, however bizarre it might have been. Or at least, they would have, if their own rising dread wasn’t still taking charge instead. “T-the apocalypse?” Steven nervously wondered. “Garnet didn’t say anything about that!”
“The only thing she did tell us about was that storm,” Dipper let out an unsteady sigh. “And we still don’t even know what’s going to happen with that ! How are we supposed to-”
“Oh my gosh, relax already, you guys,” Mabel piped up as she rolled over the edge of her bed. “Grunkle Stan was right. You’re both getting all bent out of shape about all of the bad stuff that might happen; did you ever think that something good might happen instead?”
“Good?” Steven questioned. “Like what?”
“Like what happened earlier, with the farmer’s truck!” Mabel grabbed Waddles, pulling him to a tight hug. “Garnet was right about that, and it led to me and Waddles finding each other, like fate or destiny–or both!”
“Mabel, do you actually have a point with all this?” Dipper asked flatly.
“The point is,” Mabel huffed. “I don’t think Garnet spends all her time looking into the future for ways we could all get hurt or die. And I don’t think you two should either. Whatever’s gonna happen is gonna happen, whether you see it coming or not. So why spend all your time stressing about the future when you can just look forward to it instead?”
As much as neither of the boys really wanted to admit it, Mabel had a surprising point. Simply knowing the future couldn’t really do much to change it, try as they might to prepare or anticipate what it may hold. What good did stressing so much over it really do for either of them in the end? What was the point of panicking over something they were ultimately powerless to prevent?
The thought was almost enough to calm them both down, or at least it was… until a loud crash of thunder rattled the entire shack from somewhere outside.
“Ahh!” Steven gasped, his eyes wide with terror. “The storm! Garnet was right!”
“We can’t go outside!” Dipper exclaimed. “Steven, come on!” Without wasting another second, he grabbed Steven’s hand and together, the boys ran out of the attic, determined to hide from whatever unknown horrors the future might have in store for them.
“Huh,” Mabel glanced over at Waddles with a satisfied smile as she watched them headout. “Glad to see they’re taking my advice to heart.”
“Ok, g-go fish,” Steven said as he struggled to focus on his cards. Likewise, Dipper was largely distracted from their game; ironic, since the game was meant to distract them away from the storm in the first place. Only to end up doing anything but.
Instead, both of them tensed up whenever thunder roared beyond the den’s walls. Instead, they kept sparing nervous glances out the window at the pouring rain. Instead, they dreaded each flash of lightning as if it were the last thing they’d ever see.
And for all they knew, it very well could be.
Dipper let out an uneasy sigh as he drew a card from the pile, though it soon slipped from his grasp when another thunderbolt roared somewhere high above the shack. As on edge as he already was–and had been for the past several hours–this proved to be what finally pushed him over it entirely. “Steven, what are we doing?” he asked, setting the rest of his cards down.
“Um, trying not to think about all the different ways we would get hurt if we go outside?” Steven replied, frowning
“Yeah, but why ?” Dipper stood, his hands in tight fists at his sides. “I mean, it’s just like Mabel said: whatever Garnet saw is probably bound to end up happening somehow, right? So why are we sitting in here hiding from it like a bunch of babies?”
Steven hesitated, but it didn’t take him very long to agree. “Y-you’re right. We can’t keep living in fear like this! I mean, we are big boys, aren’t we?”
“Uh, I wouldn’t exactly put it like that ,” Dipper rubbed the back of his neck, flustered. “But yeah. Yeah, we are!”
“And big boys, er, uh, large men– whatever we are–aren’t afraid of some silly old storm, are we?!”
“Heck no, we aren’t!”
“So let’s face this thing–the future – together !” Steven boldly exclaimed as he took Dipper by the hands. “Come on, let’s go!”
“Wait, you mean, like, right now?!” Dipper anxiously asked. Still, there was little he could do to stop Steven from dragging him to the door. They burst outside into an absolute downpour, to rain falling in thick sheets and a sky as black as night. It took only seconds for both boys to become drenched as they ran out in the yard, searching high and low for any signs of potential danger.
“Ok, we’re out here!” Dipper shouted over the heavy rain, bracing himself for the worst. “So what now?”
“Yeah! What are you gonna do to us, future?!” Steven shouted up to the sky. Despite their bravado, however, the storm still kept going steady, without a sign of breaking–or even getting worse–in sight.
“Why isn’t anything happening?” Dipper asked, bewildered. “Garnet made it sound like something was supposed to happen! She wouldn’t have told us not to come out here otherwise, right?”
“Maybe we’re not in the right place…” Steven gasped as he spotted a ladder left perched against the side of the shack. “The roof! That’s gotta be it! Come on!”
“The roof? Steven, what-” Dipper didn’t get a chance to ask as Steven pulled him along once more. Still, he didn’t bother arguing with Steven as he followed him up the ladder and onto the shack’s slippery-wet and dangerously high roof.
“Alright, this is it,” Dipper said, trying not to shiver against the chilling rain. “Whatever’s gonna happen to us is bound to happen here, so-”
He stopped short when Steven cut him off with a tight, sudden, tearful hug. “Dipper, I just want to say that if we’re both about to go out in some horrible, unforeseen accident, I’m so glad that at least we get to go out together!”
“W-wow, Steven,” Dipper stiffened, before slowly, sincerely returning his hug. “Me too.”
They stayed like that for longer than they normally would have, if only to brace for whatever disaster they were certain was about to strike them both. Except…
Nothing came.
Instead, they jumped, practically startled out of their skin, as a firm shout reached them from somewhere on the ground far below. “Steven! Dipper!” Garnet yelled over the storm. “Get down from there!”
“No!” Dipper protested just sternly. “Our minds are made up! Whatever’s gonna happen to us… we’re just gonna let it happen.”
“Neither of you understand!” Garnet argued, concerned.
“No, you don’t understand!” Steven shouted back. “Everything we do shoves us violently towards the end! The more we know, the more we don’t know!”
“It’s just like what happened with Wendy and Robbie!” Dipper adamantly exclaimed. “Things only went wrong because I didn’t listen to any of the ways it could end badly. I thought things would be alright, but now they’re worse off than ever before!”
“No, that’s not-” Garnet tried, only for Steven to cut her off.
“Augh! We can’t live like this!” Steven cried, gripping the sides of his head. “Why did you even tell us about your future vision, Garnet?! What’s going to happen outside?!”
Garnet paused for what seemed like forever. And then, she took a deep breath and simply said, “This.”
“W-what?” Steven and Dipper asked as they exchanged a puzzled glance.
“I knew you both might do this if I told you about my power,” Garnet shook her head as she explained. “I saw this, but I told you anyway.”
“But why?” Steven asked, confused.
“I took a risk at the expense of both of you,” Garnet sighed. “I was hoping that you would understand this, that you’d learn from it…”
To the boys’ surprise, Garnet removed her glasses, revealing her trio of eyes and the clear remorse filling all three of them. “Steven, Dipper,” she said, her voice noticeably tremulous and earnest. “It’s true that there are so many things that can hurt you. But it’s not your job to worry about any of them.”
“That’s… kind of like what Grunkle Stan and Mabel said…” Dipper said, frowning.
“Then they were right,” Garnet put her visor back on with a small smile. “There are millions of possibilities for the future, but it’s up to you to decide which become reality. Please understand; you both choose your own futures.”
For a moment, silence filled the thick, stormy air, only broken by the pattering of rain against the shack’s roof. In the end though, the boys slowly found sense in what Garnet was saying. In spending so much time and energy focusing on the future, they found themselves missing out on the present, on learning from the past. When it came to the future, as frightening as it might sometimes be, they still had some control over how it might turn out.
And as far as they were concerned, some control was better than none at all.
“I… we do understand…” Steven slowly relented. “I can’t believe it took us this long to do it though…”
“Oh man, what are we even doing ?” Dipper asked, embarrassed. “We really took this way too far.”
“Yeah, we… might have gone a little overboard,” Steven chuckled, rubbing his arm. “I guess we can’t really see a future for ourselves up here, huh?”
“Probably not,” Garnet smirked. “But I can see a future where the three of us go inside where it’s safe and dry and where I’ll see if Stan will let me make some hot chocolate for you both.”
“Sounds good to me!” Steven readily agreed. He led the way back down the ladder, running over to Garnet to give her a tight hug, one that he didn’t hesitate to pull Dipper into. “And don’t worry, Garnet,” Steven said, smiling up at her. “We’ll watch out for ourselves from now on.”
Garnet paused for a moment, distracted with the stormy skies above. With both boys still held in her secure embrace, she slowly lifted her free hand up in time to catch a lightning bolt just before it could strike them both.
“What was that?” Steven asked, oblivious to the passing danger.
Garnet shrugged, ultimately deciding to leave them out of the loop of this one. After all, there were some futures they didn’t need to know. “Oh, nothing important.”
True to her word, Garnet made hot chocolate for Steven and Dipper as soon as they went back inside. Of course, when they stepped into the kitchen soaking wet, Stan and Mabel had plenty of questions, which the boys answered as they dried themselves off from the ordeal.
“So let me get this straight,” Stan asked, raising an eyebrow. “You two nearly got yourselves killed in a thunderstorm just because you thought something bad might happen to you?”
“Yeah…” Dipper admitted, frowning. “Now that you mention it, it doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense.”
“Your reaction was understandable though,” Garnet reassured as she handed both boys mugs of cocoa. “And at least none of the bad outcomes I foresaw during that storm actually came true.”
“Oo, like what?” Mabel curiously asked as she shifted Waddles in her lap.
“Well..”
“We don’t want to hear them!” Steven and Dipper exclaimed in sharp, sudden unison. After all, the last thing they needed was to slip into yet another paranoid spiral anytime soon.
“Y’know, if I was a more responsible uncle, I’d think twice about letting you kids hang around the Gems after all the times they’ve put your lives in danger so far this summer,” Stan crossed his arms, shooting Garnet a critical look.
“You could think twice about that,” Garnet said, grinning knowingly. “But you won’t.”
“Oh yeah, and how do you know-” Stan cut himself off, remembering Garnet’s future vision. And, for as much as he still might not have believed in it, he ultimately shrugged in defeat all the same. “Eh, you know what? Fair enough.”
“Well, I’m just glad everything turned out ok in the end,” Steven smiled as he sipped on his hot chocolate.
“Yeah, everything except for what happened with Wendy,” Dipper sighed. “I shouldn’t have meddled in her personal life. She probably hates me now.”
“Aw, chin up, kid,” Stan encouraged, grinning. “That’s just how women work. You ruin their date, drive their hippie boyfriend’s van into a ravine and somehow you’re the ‘bad guy’.”
“Whoa, who did all that, Grunkle Stan?” Mabel asked, intrigued.
“Eh, just a guy I used to know.”
“So um, Garnet?” Dipper began. “I probably shouldn’t even ask this but, uh… can you see any futures where Wendy forgives me?”
Garnet smiled, nodding as she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. And to his relief, this time her prediction was as comforting as it could be. “Plenty.”
“Oh! Oh!” Mabel raised her hand. “Garnet, how many futures do you see where Waddles is the most perfect, precious pig on the entire planet?”
Garnet couldn’t help but laugh as she fondly patted the pig’s head. “Also plenty.”
“Hooray!” Mabel cheered. She proudly held Waddles high over her head as she paraded him around the kitchen, much to Steven and Dipper’s amusement.
Stan, however, wasn’t as taken as he let out an exhausted groan. “That ‘future sight’ or whatever it's called of yours wouldn’t happen to see any way Mabel and that doofy pig of hers get less annoyingly adorable, would it, shades?”
“Sorry, Stan,” Garnet grinned, adjusting her shades. She didn’t even need her future vision this time, not when the answer was already so obvious to everyone. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
Notes:
Next time, Amethyst, Steven, and Dipper go on the run...
Chapter 17: On the Run
Summary:
Steven, Dipper, and Amethyst try life on the road out. Meanwhile, Mabel, Connie, and Pearl desperately search the town in the hopes of finding the missing boys.
Notes:
Don't got a lot to say about this one, other than that I had a fun time working on it! It's kind of a nice mix of the original, heavy plot of the OG chapter/episode and then a much sillier b-plot I decided to bring in for some levity, so I hope you all enjoy it! With that out of the way, let's take a trip to the Kindergarten. Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
DPRB GRSE KH LBVTBZ SLZ TYX INBBU
EC BOLCBRT DPR OEEJ, GVFW FKE AHA SORKA
EAN MIHR EUW, KAIL'BM UDVURY UHRR
DPR GEEMEI'L SAVG WXWK HEXNR
“Whoa, how are they gonna get out of this one?” Steven gasped, his eyes glued to the newest No Home Boys novel. He turned the page, reading on past the suspenseful cliffhanger to get his answer. “Oh, that’s how!”
“Aaaaand… it's done!” Mabel drew his attention away from the book, just as she put the last finishing touches on her latest sweater. “Here you go, Steven!” she proudly held it up for him to see. “What do you think?”
“What do I think?” Steven echoed, stars in his eyes. “I think it’s amazing , Mabel! It’s got a star on it and everything!” He set his book aside and wasted no time slipping the pink sweater over his shirt. “Oh, wow! It’s a perfect fit!”
“My sweaters always are,” Mabel nodded, satisfied. “What do you think, bro-bro?”
Despite their enthusiasm, Dipper showed no effort to share it. Instead, he kept his focus solely on the journal, burying his face in it to hide his unshakably fretful frown. “Uh… Dipper?” Steven tried again after a beat of stilted silence.
“Hm?” This time, he offered a response, though it wasn’t much of one.
“I asked you what you thought of the sweater I made for Steven,” Mabel huffed, motioning over to said sweater.
“Oh. It’s cool,” Dipper answered, without so much as stealing a single glance up from the journal. While Mabel simply flopped back onto the couch with an annoyed groan, Steven couldn’t help but frown as he kept his sights set on Dipper. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he could sense something was up. And he wasn’t above trying to figure out exactly what that something was.
“Dipper, is everything ok?” he asked, concerned.
“What?” Dipper blinked, finally looking up from the journal. Though the question caught him off guard, he did what he could to collect himself as quickly as he could. “Oh, uh, yeah. Everything’s fine,” he reassured with a weak, fake smile. “What makes you think it’s not?”
“Uh, because you haven’t looked up from that journal all morning,” Mabel pointed out. “Something you’ve already read cover to cover at least ten times now can’t be that interesting, can it?”
“I have a feeling this doesn’t really have much to do with the journal,” Steven shook his head. “Is something bothering you, Dipper?”
“N-no,” Dipper firmly denied. He quickly caved, however, upon meeting the wide, curious stares Steven and Mabel were both sending his way. Clearly, they weren’t about to let him off the hook that easily, so he might as well come clean, as much as he didn’t want to. “Ugh, fine, it’s just… I’m still thinking about what happened the other day. Y’know, when I was sort of, kind of, totally responsible for breaking Wendy and Robbie up?”
“Why’d you be bummed out about that?” Mabel raised an eyebrow. “You helped Wendy get out of a bad relationship with a super icky guy. You’re like, a total hero!”
“Yeah, well, I sure don’t feel like one,” Dipper shut the journal and looked away from the pair. “She was really upset over what happened, and I can’t help but feel at least some of that is fault for telling her what Robbie was up to in the first place.”
“But Dipper, you did the right thing letting Wendy know the truth,” Steven offered him a consoling smile. “Garnet even said so herself.”
“Well, Garnet also said that Wendy would eventually forgive me but that hasn’t happened yet.”
“Well there’s your problem!” Mabel exclaimed. “You’ve been wasting all this time waiting for Wendy to come to you, when you should be the one to go to Wendy!”
“Mabel’s right,” Steven agreed. “Maybe Wendy hasn’t talked to you about it yet because she doesn’t know you’re still upset about it. I’m sure you guys could smooth things over if you just asked her to!”
“Are you guys serious?” Dipper scoffed. “If anything, that would just remind her of what happened and make her feel worse! She doesn’t deserve that, not after everything that’s already happened.”
“So… are you just going to keep avoiding her then?” Steven asked, frowning.
“…Maybe…”
“Oh, Dipper,” Mabel chastised. “You can’t just run away from all your problems! You should do what Grunkle Stan says: man up and punch them in the face!”
“Somehow I feel like that would only make things even worse…” Dipper said, rubbing his arm.
Luckily for him, however, Steven and Mabel didn’t get a chance to press him any further as the warp pad on the far side of the temple lit up ahead of the Gems’ return. They arrived in their usual flashy fashion, in the midst of an argument that had been going on for quite a while from the sounds of it.
“Ugh, who cares ?” Amethyst groaned. “It’s not like it’s even that big of a deal.”
“I’d say it’s a very big deal!” Pearl protested. “We should have been more careful. Who knows what dangers just letting Lapis return to Homeworld could bring? If she tells them about us… they might try to return to Earth…” She drew in a sharp breath, her eyes wide with sudden panic. “We can’t let them come back!”
“Pearl, calm down,” Garnet reassured, resting a hand on her shoulder. “We checked the Homeworld warp and it’s still inactive. We’re cut off. The Earth is safe.”
“Safe from what?”
The Gems froze stiff at the sound of Steven posing this question. They exchanged a quick, anxious glance before Pearl forced out a loud, fake laugh. “K-kids!” she exclaimed with a too-wide smile. “We… we didn’t know you three were here!”
“Hey, check this out you guys,” Amethyst smirked as she showed off the large rock she’d brought back with her. Her mischievous smile only widened as she crushed it with her bare hands. “Kaboosh!”
“Amethyst, please!” Pearl shielded herself from the resulting shrapnel. “Be serious for once!”
“Pfft, never,” Amethyst scowled, crossing her arms.
“So, uh… What were you guys saying about Homeworld just a minute ago?” Dipper asked, as carefully as he could. By now, he knew just how touchy of a subject this was for the Gems, and the last thing he wanted was to slip up and steer them away from it somehow.
Unfortunately for him, Steven and Mabel were set on doing that instead.
“What would be so bad about letting Gems from Homeworld come visit Earth?” Steven asked, genuinely curious.
“Yeah, meeting all those new Gems would be a lot of fun!” Mabel added. “Just like meeting Lapis was, only hopefully with a little less waterfall theft.”
A beat of silence passed between the Gems before Pearl hesitantly broke it. “Kids… What happened with Homeworld… Well, it’s… it’s complicated.” She was ready to leave it at that, at least until Garnet rested a steadying hand on her shoulder.
“Remember, we promised we would start being more honest with them,” Garnet gently reminded her.
“Right…” Pearl slowly agreed. She knelt down to the kids’ level, finally telling them at least a faction of the story they’d been yearning to hear for weeks now. “You see, kids, a very long time ago, Gems came to the Earth and tried to do something… very bad. It was something that would have damaged the entire planet, irrecoverably so. Some Gems, like Rose Quartz, Garnet, and myself, felt that this was unfair to the life that already existed here, and so we swore to never let the Earth be used for their… purposes. Even if it meant-” She stopped short as Amethyst shattered another rock somewhere behind her, all but breaking through the seriousness of her story. Pearl heaved an aggravated sigh, but continued nonetheless. “Even if it meant we could never go home.”
“Long story short,” Garnet said. “We chose Earth.”
Despite how vague that story really was, it still was a lot to take in. And yet, while Steven and Mabel were satisfied by what they got, Dipper couldn’t help but try to press for a few more details. Just in case the Gems were willing to reveal a little more than usual today. “Wait, so what exactly was Homeworld trying to do anyway?”
Garnet and Pearl exchanged a worried glance at this, and that was all Dipper needed to know he’d once again prodded too far. Sure enough, Pearl shut him down by simply saying, “We’ll… save that for another time.”
“Aw, come on!” Mabel let out a groan alongside her brother. “You guys don’t have to end Gem story time here! We’re always down for hearing more cool dark secrets about you guys!”
“Well… some of our ‘secrets’ are a little darker than others…” Pearl frowned, rubbing her arm.
“Whoa, wait a sec!” Steven cut in, suddenly excited. “If you guys can’t go back to your home… then that means… you’re just like the No-Home Boys!”
Everyone turned to look at him, mutually confused. “The what?” Pearl asked.
“ The No-Home Boys !” Steven held his book up for them to see. “It’s a book series about these boys who have no home. So they travel around the country, living in boxcars, riding river rafts and solving mysteries! They had a successful run, until the disastrous graphic novel adaptation. But my favorite story is this one: On the Run. In it, the No-Home Boys are chased across the countryside by a mysterious pursuer, which turns out to be the very fear resting within themselves.”
“Whoa! That’s like, your total life story!” Mabel said to the Gems.
“Oh, please,” Pearl rolled her eyes. “We are not like the No-Home Boys. Steven, we are literally standing in your home right now.”
“Yeah… that’s a bit of a stretch,” Garnet nodded. She trailed after Pearl as she turned to head for the temple gate, though not without adding, “ On the Run does make for a pretty gripping title though.”
“Bye, you guys!” Mabel cheerfully called after the pair as the door slid shut behind them. Amethyst, however, hung back as she plopped down on the now-empty couch.
“Ok, then…” Dipper turned to her, hoping she’d be willing to offer more information than Garnet and Pearl had. “So Amethyst… you wouldn’t mind telling us what Homeworld Gems really want to do with the Earth… would you?”
“Who cares?” Amethyst curtly replied, perching her arms behind her head.
“We do!” Steven exclaimed with a pleading grin. “Will you please tell us about it, Amethyst? Please? Please? Please?”
“Ugh…” She rolled away from the kids with a loud, annoyed groan. “Why do you guys always wanna know about all that dumb old stuff anyway? It all happened way long ago so none of it matters anymore. Which means we don’t need to talk about it, ok?”
“Oo, well, an answer like that definitely has me even more curious than I already was!” Mabel crooned, intrigued.
“You can keep on being curious, then,” Amethyst stubbornly crossed her arms. “Cause I don’t nothin’ to tell you guys that you haven’t already heard.”
“Somehow, I seriously doubt that,” Dipper muttered, scowling.
“We don’t have to keep talking about it if you don’t want to, Amethyst,” Steven offered her a small, apologetic smile. “Why don’t we all do something fun instead?”
“Oh, I’ve got an idea!” Mabel raised her hand. “We should have a Pink-Off! A contest to decide, once and for all, who’s pinker: Lion or Waddles!”
“Yeah!” Steven readily agreed.
Dipper, on the other hand, wasn’t as taken by his sister’s suggestion. “Uh, I don’t know if that’s what I’d call ‘fun’...”
“Ditto,” Amethyst grumbled from her spot on the couch.
Mabel, however, was far from deterred as she ran for the door. “Aw, you guys will change your mind once we get started. Let me run back down to the shack to grab Waddles and the ultimate Pink-Off can commence!”
As she left, a newfound silence settled over the house. It was soon broken by Steven, however, as he let out a long, wistful sigh while staring down at the book in his hands. “You know,” he began, absently flipping through the novel. “I wish I was a No-Home Boy. No past, no future. Just the open road!”
“Yeah…” Dipper agreed with a sigh of his own. “That whole no past, no future thing actually sounds pretty nice right about now… Too bad it’s impossible.”
“Impossible?”Amethyst suddenly sat up. “Says who?”
“Well, Dipper said it just a second ago,” Steven pointed out.
Amethyst rolled her eyes as she moved to take a seat on the couch between the boys. “Listen,” she slid her arms over their shoulders with a growing, daring grin. “You guys wanna see the open road? Then let’s do it.”
“What?!” they exclaimed in baffled unison.
“Yeah,” Amethyst nodded as her smile widened. “Let’s run.”
“Really?!” Steven asked, excited.
“Sure, why not? Sounds like fun.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Dipper quickly cut in. “Amethyst, we can’t just… run away!”
“Uh, yeah we can,” Amethyst dryly argued. “All we gotta do is get out the door and go .”
“Where are we gonna run away to?” Steven asked, eager and ready.
“Doesn’t matter where, dude,” Amethyst shrugged. “We can go wherever we want, do whatever we want, and best of all, no one will be around to tell us that we can’t. Unless somebody plans on being totally lame about this, Dipper .”
“I don’t think it's lame to think that randomly running away is, I dunno, just a little crazy ?” Dipper protested. “Amethyst, I know you don’t have to eat or anything, but Steven and I do, and it’s not like food is something that’s really easy to come by when you’re on the run with no money or no way of getting money.”
“Oh! I know how to handle that!” Steven said, grinning. “We’ll just do what the No-Home Boys do! We’ll pack bindles of food and supplies to start us out for a few weeks and when we run out, we’ll use our quick wit and determination to salvage more and survive on our own!”
“Yeah!” Amethyst brazenly cheered.
Still, Dipper wasn’t so sold on such a risky plan quite yet. “Steven, somehow I doubt being literally homeless is as fun as those books of yours make it sound. Besides, somebody will notice we’re gone eventually. What about Mabel, Grunkle Stan, Pearl, Garnet–”
“Ok I’m gonna stop you right there,” Amethyst interrupted. “One: I don’t care about what Pearl or Garnet might say about this. And two: Stan won’t care because he’s done stuff way crazier than this before. I should know; I was there for a bunch of it.”
“Please come with us, Dipper!” Steven pleaded as he grabbed his arm and held on tight. “If you don’t, then we can’t be like the No-Home Boys because Amethyst’s a Gem and I’ll be the only boy!”
“Seriously, dude, loosen up for a change,” Amethyst added. “Take a chance, have some fun. You really wanna sit around all day with your nose in that dumb old journal when you could be out living life wild and free?”
“Hey, that wasn’t all I was going to do today,” Dipper countered, crossing his arms. “I was… I was gonna… I’m going to head back down to the Mystery Shack after you guys set out ‘on the road’, or whatever.”
“Oh, good!” Steven said with a supportive smile. “Maybe while you’re down there, you and Wendy can finally talk about what happened the other day! That’ll make you feel better for sure!”
Dipper stopped short at this suggestion, quickly changing his tune as soon as he heard it. Because really, anything was better than having to face such an awkward confrontation–even risking life and limb on the open road. Right?
“…On second thought… I think I might actually join you guys after all…” he hesitantly relented, hoping he wouldn’t regret this decision. Even if he already did from the moment he made it.
“Whoa, really?” Amethyst asked, surprised. “That’s pretty hardcore of you, dude. Nice.”
“Hooray!” Steven cheered as he pulled Dipper into a celebratory hug. “Oh man, this is gonna be so much fun! We’ll pack up our bindles, hitch a ride on a train, build a fire to keep us warm at night and tell stories around it, and see the world! What could be better?!”
“Y-yeah…” Dipper agreed with a bit of an uneasy laugh. “What… what could be better?”
“Nothing could. You guys know why?” Amethyst asked, more than ready to lead the way. To what exactly, the boys had no idea–they’d just have to figure that out as they went. “‘Cause this crew’s going ON THE RUN!”
“Alrighty, everyone! Sorry I took so long– somebody was taking his daily beauty nap and did not want to get up–but we’re here now to decide-” Mabel stopped short, Waddles in her arms, as she stole a proper glance at the house. The noticeably now empty house.
“Uh… hello?” she frowned as she set Waddles down. “Dipper? Steven? Amethyst? Anyone here?”
She took a moment to look around, checking up the loft, in the kitchen, even going as far as peeking into the bathroom. And yet, to her rising alarm, there wasn’t a single sign of any of them. It was as if they’d somehow, suddenly mysteriously disappeared. Or even worse–
“Oh no,” she gasped, her eyes wide with fear. “They’ve been-”
She didn’t get a chance to finish such a dreadful thought as the door suddenly opened behind her. “Hey, guys!” Connie greeted, shuffling the backpack slung over her shoulders as she entered the house. “What’s… up?” She stopped, frowning, when she found only one of her friends was there to greet her. “Mabel, where are-”
“Connie!” Mabel ran back over to her, gripping her by the shoulders. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re here! We have a serious situation on our hands!”
“Uh, and that situation is…?”
“Steven and Dipper have been kidnapped !”
“What?!” Connie started, aghast. “When? Why? By who?!”
“I don’t know,” Mabel shook her head, frantic. “But we’ve gotta find ‘em and save them! We’re gonna need at least six bazookas, maybe a tank, definitely a helicopter, or two, or ten-”
“Whoa, slow down,” Connie cut in, lost in the shuffle. “Why don’t we start with gathering the facts first? Now,” she pulled a notepad out of her backpack to jot things down on. “When was the last time you saw either of them?”
“A few minutes ago,” Mabel reported. “Before I went back down to the shack to get Waddles. They were hanging out with Amethyst, and-”
“Wait,” Connie stopped her. “Are you sure they were actually kidnapped ? Maybe they just went somewhere with Amethyst instead.”
Mabel paused to ponder this suggestion, but only for a moment before she ultimately shrugged it off. “Mm, no, they were kidnapped. I’m at least 70% sure of it, which means it must be true!”
Before Connie could even try to question her logic, the chime of the temple gate opening caught their attention. While they both hoped Steven and Dipper would somehow walk out of it, Pearl emerged instead, “Oh, hello, girls,” she greeted them with a smile that quickly fell when she noticed how stressed they both looked. “Um… is everything alright?”
“Uh…” Connie frowned, apprehensive. “Well…”
“No, it’s not!” Mabel wailed, distraught. “Steven and Dipper are gone ! They’ve been kidnapped!”
“Kidnapped?!” Pearl asked, aptly alarmed. “Are you sure?”
“Not really-”
“Positive!” Mabel shouted over Connie. “They’re in super huge danger! I can feel it in my gut, and like Grunkle Stan says, you should always trust your gut, especially when it's getting close to lunchtime.”
“W-well, if they really were kidnapped, then we have to find them!” Pearl exclaimed. Connie couldn’t help but look at her, bewildered by how quickly she was willing to believe such an outlandish story. Not that she had much of a chance to try and talk her down from her distress as she continued. “Who would even do such an awful thing?!”
“It’s gotta be someone who has it out for them,” Mabel theorized, a hand perched to her chin. “Or someone who might wanna use ‘em as a ransom, like in the movies!”
“Someone with not just a motive, but the resources to pull such a sinister scheme off,” Pearl added. “Someone small enough to slip in and out unseen. Someone like-”
Pearl and Mabel both gasped as they reached the exact same conclusion at the exact same time. “Gideon!”
“Gideon?” Connie questioned. “You mean that psychic kid you guys told me about? Why would he kidnap Steven and Dipper?”
“‘Cause he totally hates them!” Mabel explained. “Well, to be fair, he hates all of us, but I think he hates them the most.”
“We should have anticipated he’d do something like this after what happened with those watermelons and the Magnitude Modulator the other day,” Pearl shook her head. “I swear, he’s only getting bolder and more brazen by the day. Well, don’t worry,” she assured as she summoned her spear from her Gem. “I’m not about to let him simply get away with this one.”
“Wait, Pearl!” Mabel called after her as she headed for the door. “Let us come with you! We can help!”
“We can what?” Connie asked, utterly confused.
“Hm…” Pearl paused for a moment. “Well, since Garnet and Amethyst aren’t around, I could always use some extra backup–not that Gideon is much of a threat, but still. Yes, I suppose you two can come along.”
“Yes!” Mabel cheered as she pulled Connie along after her. “Don’t worry, boys! This super cool girl squad is comin’ to the rescue!”
“Um, maybe we should sit down and talk more about this first-” Connie’s concerns were ultimately left unheard as she was all but dragged along for the mission. Whether she thought that mission carried any weight or not.
And, as the trio set off on that mission, not a single one of them noticed the note innocently sitting on the counter. A note Steven wrote, explaining everything, they all unknowingly left behind.
Since Amethyst had insisted on leaving as soon as possible to avoid Garnet and Pearl, Steven and Dipper were left with little time to prepare their bindles. They were only able to grab a few snacks from the kitchen before they set out with only those bindles and the clothes on their backs.
And just like that, they were off, on an adventure to parts unknown. On a quest to find their destinies. On the run.
After slipping out of the temple and past the shack, it wasn’t long before the intrepid trio was on the road heading into town. Still, between their conflicting excitement and apprehension over this endeavor, if there was one thing Steven and Dipper couldn’t help but agree on.
“You know, I wish we’d gotten a chance to say goodbye to Mabel before we left…” Dipper frowned as he spared a glance back at the shack in the distance.
“Yeah…” Steven nodded. “But it’s ok! I’m sure once she reads the note I left, she won’t be too upset.”
“Ugh, Steven! What did I tell you about leaving a note?” Amethyst face-palmed. “It’s not running away if you just tell everyone where you’re going!”
“Oh, don’t worry, I didn’t,” Steven assured. “Mostly ‘cause I don’t know where we’re actually going.”
“Uh, yeah, now that you mention it,” Dipper spoke up. “What exactly is our, uh, plan with all this anyway?”
“Plan?” Amethyst scoffed. “There is no plan. We go wherever we want, whenever we want.”
“Like the No-Home Boys!” Steven chimed in.
“Right…” Dipper dryly pretended to agree. Still, he had to admit, this was better than the alternative. It was better than trying and likely failing to repair a damaged friendship he wasn’t so sure could even be saved.
As much as he wanted to take his mind off of Wendy, however, it seemed as though fate had other plans in mind. The trio was caught off guard by the sound of a sudden car horn as a packed vehicle pulled to a stop alongside them.
“Heeeey, what’s up, you guys?” Jenny greeted from her spot in the driver’s seat. Somehow, most of the other teens were squeezed between the front and back, with Buck, Sour Cream, Lee, Nate, Thompson, and Tambry all vying for space. Dipper noticed that Wendy and Robbie were absent, something he was hugely grateful for. Even as he desperately hoped their other friends knew nothing about his role in their recent breakup.
“Hi, guys!” Steven exclaimed with a friendly smile. Likewise, Amethyst offered the teens a cool, casual nod.
“What’s with the sacks?” Lee asked, eyeing their bindles. “You guys practicing being hobos or something?”
“Uh, yeah, actually,” Amethyst shrugged..
“We’re on the run!” Steven exclaimed.
“O-on the run?” Thompson asked, concerned. “From who?”
“Oh, from no one,” Steven reassured. “We’re just doing it for fun. Right guys?”
“Yeah…” Dipper halfheartedly agreed. “Fun…”
“You guys are really living wild and free,” Buck nodded his approval. “I like it.”
“Do you three ‘hobos’ need a ride to wherever it is you’re going?” Jenny asked, smirking. “We still got a little room back there, right guys?”
“Meh,” Tambry flatly responded. Even as tightly squeezed as she was between Thompson and Nate, she was still as engrossed in texting away on her phone as ever.
“...We can make room,” Sour Cream said a moment later.
“We’d love a ride to the outskirts of town!” Steven grinned. He ran over to the car and jumped up front in between Buck and Sour Cream. “Thanks so much, Jenny!”
“Don’t mention it,” Jenny laughed before turning back to Amethyst and Dipper. “You guys coming too?”
“You bet,” Amethyst readily hopped into the back. “Anything’s better than having to just walk like a bunch of squares. Right, Dipper?” She made a point of fixing him with a broad, challenging smirk. A challenge that, given the circumstances, he had no real choice but to take.
“Uh, yeah,” he begrudgingly squeezed into what little space was left in the vehicle. “Thanks, you guys.”
“So, where were you guys going before you passed by us?” Steven asked as the car continued on its way.
“We were just on our way to the Mystery Shack to pick Wendy up from work,” Nate said. “She said she wanted to hang out, blow off some steam, you know?”
“Can’t blame her, dude,” Lee frowned. “She’s been feeling pretty down ever since her and Robbie broke up the other day.”
“Yeah…” Steven sighed. “Me and Dipper were actually there when they broke up. Wendy seemed really, really upset…”
“ But ,” Dipper quickly cut, slapping a hand over Steven’s mouth before he could say much else. “J-just so you guys know, neither of us had anything to do with it! So, uh… yeah!”
“Wait, really?” Amethyst spoke up, confused. “Because just the other day, Garnet was telling me all about how you told Wendy that-” She only stopped when Dipper harshly shushed her. To his relief, none of the teens really seemed to notice much.
“Yeah, we don’t really know a whole lot about what happened between those two…” Sour Cream mused. “All we know is that it was some pretty heavy drama.”
“Wendy won’t really tell us anything about it and none of us have heard from Robbie since then,” Jenny shrugged. “Guess that’s just par for the course when it comes to dating friends.”
“It’s like asking for trouble,” Buck stoutly concluded..
“It still sucks that we can’t all hang out like we used to because of this,” Thompson said, pouting.
“Eh, they’ll get over it,” Tambry said, still not looking up from her phone.
“Aw, I’m so sorry, you guys,” Steven said, earnest. “I know how hard it can be when your friends fight… But I think Tambry’s right! Wendy and Robbie will feel better eventually and then you can all hang out and have fun together, just like before!”
“We hope you’re right, Steven,” Buck said with the smallest hint of a smile.
“I hope so too…” Dipper muttered, only to himself.
“Well, here we are,” Jenny said as she brought the car to a stop. “The outskirts of town. You guys getting out here?”
“Yep!” Amethyst leapt out, grinning at the nearby sign reading “ Now leaving Gravity Falls.”
“Thanks again for the ride, you guys,” Steven smiled at him and Dipper got out of the car with their bindles. “I hope everything turns out alright!”
“Thanks, dude,” Lee grinned. “Hope your whole ‘hobo’ thing works out too!”
“Oh, it will,” Amethyst muttered, looking away. “It has to this time...”
“Bye!” Steven waved as the teens drove off.
With that, the trio of ‘runaways’ was alone on the otherwise empty road. And to Dipper, at least, this whole thing suddenly seemed a lot more immediately, a lot more real . “So… what now?” he asked, barely masking his worry.
“Now,” Amethyst smirked. “We just keep on running.”
“Until when?” Steven asked.
“Till whenever!” Amethyst laughed as she hosted both boys onto her shoulders. “C’mon!”
Unable to do much else, the boys were simply along for the ride as Amethyst ran into the surrounding woods with both of them in tow. Of course, it wasn’t long before she shoved them off, forcing them to walk as forests soon gave way to open fields. A new member had joined them during their trek through the woods, a curious raccoon that Steven was more than happy to let tag along–at least until it turned on him and Dipper, vying for the food in both of their bindles.
Still, random raccoon attacks aside, the boys were quickly discovering that running away was surprisingly liberating. While Steven had already been completely on board, Dipper found himself starting to come around the further they got from Gravity Falls. From everything he wanted to distract himself from, and more importantly, from what he was too ashamed to face.
But now, out here, none of that seemed to matter much at all anymore. With the endless skies above them and the open road ahead of them, there were no limits, no rules, no regrets. They could go anywhere, do anything, be anything they wanted.
And with nothing and no one to stop them, that’s exactly what they were going to do.
It didn’t take long for Pearl, Mabel, and Connie to make it to the Tent of Telepathy. If anything, they made it in record time, hoping to save the boys as quickly as possible. If they even needed saving in the first place, anyway.
“Alright,” Pearl whispered. She clutched her spear tightly as they crept around the perimeter of the tent before finding a way to slip in unseen. “If Gideon is in there, then it stands to reason that Steven and Dipper should be too.”
“They’ve gotta be, I just know it!” Mabel added quietly, yet zealously. “And we’re not leaving without ‘em!”
“Um, are you guys really sure about this?” Connie asked. “I mean what if Gideon didn’t actually capture Steven and Dipper after all? Are you sure you two aren’t jumping to conclusions with this whole thing, just a little?”
“I appreciate your concern, Connie,” Pearl said, a hand on her hip. “But there’s really no other plausible explanation for why the boys would just disappear for no reason.”
“Maybe they just left and forgot to tell Mabel?”
“Pfft, nah ,” Mabel waved the suggestion off. “They’d never do that. Their lives are definitely in danger and we’re the only ones who can save them. Obviously.”
“But-”
“That’s right,” Pearl sternly agreed. “Now, let’s get in there and do exactly that!”
“Yeah!” Mabel raised her fists, ready for whatever confrontation was to come as she followed Pearl inside. Connie trailed after them much more anxiously; while she knew there was no stopping them, at least she hoped she could keep them out of trouble. Hopes that were quickly dashed as soon as they found their way to Gideon’s dressing room.
They exchanged a set of brief, resolved nods before they made their dramatic entrance. Pearl burst in first, brandishing her spear and boldly proclaiming, “Alright, Gideon, give it up! We know what you’ve done!”
“And we’re not about to let you get away with it!” Mabel added just as dramatically as she hopped in after Pearl.
“W-wha-” Gideon started as he spun around to face the intruders. Since he was in the middle of getting ready for his next show, his usually neat-pompadour was only half-hair sprayed, his blazer unbuttoned, and his eyes wide with genuine alarm. “M-Mabel, darlin’! How unexpected! And, ugh… you ,” His sudden, excited smile fizzled completely when he looked over at Pearl. “What in the world are ya’ll doin’ here?!”
“Don’t try to play dumb!” Mabel pointed an accusing finger at him. “We know you captured Dipper and Steven as part of one of your big, dumb ‘revenge’ schemes!”
“I did what now?” Gideon asked, baffled.
“So spill it!” Mabel demanded. “Where are you keeping them? In here?” She ran over to his wardrobe, throwing it open as she ripped several of his freshly-pressed suits out of it. “In here?” Next, she threw a chest open, only to find it filled to the brim with hair-care products instead of any signs of the boys. “Or what about here?!” She finished with the minifridge, pilfering through Gideon’s generous stock of sparkling water, all in vain.
As dumbfounded as Gideon was, he could only let out a small, frightened squeak when he suddenly found himself on the wrong end of Pearl’s spear. “Listen here, you little menace,” she began, her voice low and vicious. “Over the past several centuries, I’ve learned over 200 different interrogation tactics and I’m not afraid to use any of them if it helps us get Steven and Dipper back safely. So you’d best start talking or else .”
“Uh, Pearl?” Connie piped up behind her. “Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?”
“Oh, no, no,” Pearl shook her head as she inched her spear even closer to Gideon. “If anything, I’m being far too lenient on this… degenerate .”
“B-but I didn’t even do anything!” Gideon protested. “Today, at least.”
“Ha! Likely story!” Mabel exclaimed. “If you didn’t capture Steven and Dipper, then where were you on Tuesday the 6th?”
“Huh?”
“Okay, I think that’s enough,” Connie cut in as she came to stand between the irate pair and Gideon. “You guys, I really don’t think he did what you’re accusing him of.”
“Oh, thank heavens!” Gideon heaved a sigh of relief. “Finally someone with some sense, uh…”
“Oh, that’s right, you two haven’t met,” Mabel snapped her fingers. “Gideon, this is Connie. Connie, Gideon.”
“Uh, hi?” Connie briefly glanced back at him.
“Howdy,” Gideon returned, frowning.
“Enough introductions!” Pearl huffed impatiently. “I’m only going to warn you one last time, Gideon; tell us where Steven and Dipper are or face dire consequences!”
“For the last time, I didn’t make off with those two!” Gideon snapped, frustrated. “I already tried that before, remember? Twice . And though I’m loathed to admit it, neither attempt went very… well. Do you really think I’d be dumb enough to give it a third go?”
“Frankly? Yes,” Pearl said point-blank.
“Fine!” Gideon scowled as he stood, throwing his arms up. “Go ahead and search the whole tent if ya want. I promise you won’t find any evidence of any sort of misdeeds or malevolence.”
“And if we do?” Pearl eyed him distrustfully.
Before Gideon could even offer a response, Mabel jumped in with a much more violent response. “Death by ocelots!”
“ Or ,” Connie interjected. “We could just call the police?”
A beat of silence passed, but to her and Gideon’s relief, Mabel and Pearl largely agreed with her much more rational idea.
“Oh, yeah, I guess we could do that.”
“Probably should have done that from the beginning, to be honest.”
With that, the group got to searching, all while dragging Gideon along with them just to make sure he didn’t try to slip away behind their backs. After checking every last inch of the dressing room, they investigated the stage and storage areas, even going as far as combing through the parking lot. And yet, despite their keen examination, they didn’t find so much as a single trace of either of the boys. The very outcome Connie had anticipated all along, even if Pearl and Mabel were completely confounded by it.
“I don’t understand,” Pearl shook her head as they regrouped outside of the tent. “We searched high and low… Where in the world could they be?”
“Well, I can sure tell you where they’re not ,” Gideon scowled as he stormed back over to the tent. “A word of advice for you ladies? Next time ya’ll wanna accuse someone of a crime they didn’t commit, make sure you actually got some genuine proof first. And more importantly, make sure ya don’t interrupt someone when they’re in the middle of preening their pompadour! That’s just plain rude .”
He turned his nose up at the trio, haughtily stepping back into the tent to leave them to their fruitless quest. One that they had no more leads to now than when they started.
“Alright, so maybe Gideon didn’t capture them,” Mabel finally admitted.
“Oh, really?” Connie deadpanned, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, that still doesn’t explain what actually did happen to the boys,” Pearl frowned. “They could be anywhere. I suppose we’ll just have to search the entire town until we find them.”
“Um, or we could check the temple again just in case they went back while we were gone?” Connie said. Even if she already knew her idea, just like all of the others, would fall on deaf ears when it came to Pearl and Mabel.
Her hunch was proven right when the pair only needed to exchange a glance before they reached the exact same decision. However misguided it might be.
“So we’re searching the town then?”
“Oh, absolutely.”
And, just like before, neither of them heard Connie’s disgruntled sigh as she begrudgingly followed along after them. Someone had to make sure they didn’t incorrectly accuse someone else of an actual crime–or worse. Someone had to stop them from getting too carried away, from going too far, from falling straight over the edge into insanity.
And unfortunately for Connie, that someone was her.
As the sun began to sink through the sky, Steven, Dipper, and Amethyst hopped onto an open train car as it sped through the valley. It was a much quicker, far more scenic way to travel, one that gave them a much-needed break after the lengthy hike out of town. As they settled into the hay-filled car, Steven decided to pass the time by entertaining his companions with, of all things, a song.
“It’s time to get moving, time for us to have some fun,” he began a bright, upbeat tune.
“There’s no time to hang around, our adventure’s just begun!” While Dipper was caught off guard by the sudden performance, Amethyst grinned as she tapped her hand against the floor of the car to create a fitting beat.
“We’ll be thinkin’ ‘bout our friends as we chase the setting sun–”
“But we’re leaving them behind,” Amethyst joined in as Steven brought the first verse to an end. “We’re on the run!”
“Come on, Dipper!” Steven encouraged, grinning. “Sing with me!”
“Uh… no thanks,” Dipper tried his best not to cringe. “I don’t really do much of… that. I think we’re both better off leaving the whole singing thing to you.”
“Aw, but it’s so easy–and fun!” Steven implored as he grabbed his hand. “Please? Just this once? For me?”
As Steven gave his hand the slightest squeeze, Dipper started, his face suddenly warm for some strange reason. Despite how unbearably awkward the thought of randomly breaking out into song was for him, he couldn’t help but start to cave when he met the earnest, hopeful look the other boy was sending his way. “I-I, uh… wouldn’t really know what to sing…”
“That’s ok!” Steven warmly assured. “You can just follow along after me.” He sat a bit straighter, clearing his throat as he kicked off the next verse.
“We’re on the run…”
For his part, Dipper took in a deep breath, ignoring the blush still burning his face as he prepared to sing after Steven. At least until Amethyst jumped in with a verse all her own before he could even get a single note out.
“I don’t care about what all the others say.”
“We’re on the run…” While surprised, Steven still continued his part of the melody. Dipper simply shrugged, secretly grateful for the unexpected save.
“Well I guess there are some things that will just never go away.”
“We’re on the run…”
“I wish that I could say that there’s no better place than home-”
“But home’s a place that I have never known!” Steven and Amethyst finished on the same strangely wistful sentiment. One that was clearly coming more from one of them than the other.
“That’s why we’re on the run…”
As the song faded against the sound of the train’s whistle, a beat of silence fell over the trio. It carried something almost akin to melancholy–until Steven cut through it with an indignant huff. “Aw, man, Amethyst!” he pouted, disappointed. “As good as that was, you didn’t give Dipper a chance to sing at all!”
“Whatever,” Amethyst shrugged, unconcerned.
“It’s fine, Steven, really,” Dipper said with a small, diffident smile. “I can always join you, uh, next time, right?”
“Yeah!” Steven cheered, stars in his eyes. “Just think of all the other great new songs we can come up with and sing out here on the road! And look at that sunset!” He waved his hand out past the car doors, where the crisp glow of the sun was just disappearing over the distant hills. “This is the life!”
“You can say that again,” Amethyst agreed, propping herself against a hay bale.
“Yeah, you know, I gotta admit, I wasn’t really feeling it at first,” Dipper rubbed the back of his neck, grinning. “But now that we’re actually out here, it’s kind of nice and relaxing.”
“That’s what I was trying to tell you, dude,” Amethyst said. “Out here, there’s nothing to worry about. We go with the flow, ride the rails, and do nothing but chill. It’s way better than having to follow a bunch of dumb rules and be whatever someone else wants you to be.”
“And the best part is, we still have plenty of delicious snacks to enjoy!” Steven pulled a sandwich out of his bindle as Dipper did the same. And yet, before either of them could chow down, a familiar, frightening face just so happened to leap into the train car to stop them.
“Ah!” Steven cried as the raccoon pounced on him, stealing his food. “The raccoon is back!”
“Hold on, Steven! I got this!” Dipper grabbed the stick of his bindle to beat the critter back. Of course, it saw his swing coming and grabbed the stick just in time, pulling on it hard enough to knock Dipper off his feet altogether. With that, the raccoon skittered off, taking both boys’ supply of food along with it.
“Aw, man!” Steven exclaimed, dismayed. Still, they weren’t out of options just yet. “Um, Amethyst? Could we maybe have some of your food?”
Of course, at that exact moment, Amethyst was already in the middle of dumping her entire bindle into her mouth all at once. “Huh?” she asked, her mouth full of food she certainly wasn’t going to share. “Oh, uh… sorry, guys.”
“See? I knew this would happen,” Dipper crossed his arms as he sat down on another hay bale.
“I guess our bindles couldn’t fit enough for us and a raccoon…” Steven sighed against the sound of his rumbling stomach.
“Why didn’t you just bring your backpack?” Amethyst asked him.
“...It wouldn’t fit in my bindle?” Steven shrugged, embarrassed. He wasn’t about to let that get the better of him, however. Not when they were so early on into their on the run adventure. “Maybe I can just sleep the hunger off. Just like the No-Home Boys.”
“Might as well… Dipper agreed, as he lay down. It wasn’t long before the train hit a rough bump, one that sent both him rolling off his stack of hay and onto the hard metal floor. “Ow!” he yelped, resting a hand against the sore-spot on the back of his head. “Ugh, why did I think that would be a good idea?!”
“You know,” Steven said as he sat up, frowning. “I feel like I’ve been misled about hay. It always looks so soft in those illustrations, but it’s actually really scratchy.”
No more than a minute later, the train jolted again, sending one of the stacked hay bales toppling down right on top of him. And, ironically enough, that proved to be the literal straw to break the camel’s back. “Amethyst, I wanna go home now.”
“Same here,” Dipper sighed. “I hate to say it, but I think going home and finally facing Wendy would be easier than having to live like… well, this. N-not that I’d actually do that if we do go home, but still.”
“Pfft,” Amethyst scoffed as she took a seat on the edge of the train car. “You guys need to get over yourselves. Have you ever tried not being such wimps?”
“…Doesn’t running away technically make us all wimps?” Dipper questioned.
“Well, either way, I think I’m done being a No-Home Boy,” Steven tiredly concluded.
“Not me,” Amethyst said as she continued staring at the passing scenery.
“Amethyst, you don’t honestly expect us to be able to last out here forever, do you?” Dipper asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I dunno, maybe,” Amethyst turned her nose up at both boys. “You might if you learn to toughen up a bit.”
“But… I’m sure Garnet and Pearl and Mr. Pines and Mabel are worried sick about us,” Steven pointed out. “They’re probably wondering when we’re coming home right-”
“That’s not my home,” Amethyst suddenly, sharply cut him off.
“Huh?” Steven asked, confused.
“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Dipper said. “You’re from Homeworld.”
“That’s not my home either!”
By now, both boys were more than a bit puzzled and perplexed. As on-edge as Amethyst clearly was, they almost didn’t even want to ask. But in the end, curiosity got the better of them as Dipper decided to voice the question they both had on their minds. “Then… where are you from?”
To their surprise, Amethyst simply offered them a slow, mysterious smile, saying nothing else other than simply, “I’ll show you.”
With their mission more than clear, Pearl and Mabel led the way into town, with Connie tentatively tagging along behind them. They stopped just about everyone they saw, either asking or outright interrogating them as to Dipper and Steven’s whereabouts. They checked the local restaurants, quickly getting kicked out of Fish Stew Pizza and Greasy’s Diner for disturbing the peace. They passed by the police station, still not reporting the situation in favor of trying in vain to get answers out of Onion instead. They even investigated the dump, only to quickly retreat upon finding Old Man McGucket in the middle of a heated argument with his raccoon wife.
And yet, for all their intensive searching, there still wasn’t any sign of either of the boys to be found. By the time they began trudging back to the temple, the sun sat low in the sky and they’d long since exhausted all of their options. And while Mabel and Pearl were still determined to get to the bottom of this troubling mystery, Connie couldn’t help but finally voice what she had been thinking all day.
“Ok, you guys,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as they scaled the temple steps. “We asked basically everyone in Gravity Falls. Can we finally admit to ourselves that Steven and Dipper probably weren’t kidnapped by anyone?”
“Anyone in town ,” Mabel corrected. “There’s all sorts of crazy stuff in the woods that could have taken them, like a witch or a giant worm or a talking waffle with really buff arms.”
“...What?”
“ Or ,” Pearl countered much more reasonably. “A corrupted Gem could have gotten ahold of them, or, even if they weren’t captured, they could be off somewhere, stuck and afraid and desperately in need of help!” She reached the door first, opening it to allow the girls in ahead of her. “That’s why we came back here to get some backup and-”
Pearl stopped short when she glanced up, only to find they weren’t alone. Instead of finding the boys safe and sound, however, Garnet stood in the kitchen, looking over a piece of paper, instead. “G-Garnet?” Pearl asked, surprised.
“Welcome back,” she greeted simply, not looking up from the paper.
“What are you reading?” Connie asked, curious.
“This note Steven left behind explaining where he, Dipper, and Amethyst went off to earlier.”
“ What?!” Pearl started, aghast. She swiped the note when Garnet handed it over to her, rapidly skimming it before she let out an appalled gasp. “They ran away ?! On their own accord?”
“Wait, so they weren’t kidnapped?” Mabel asked, baffled.
“Ugh, no ! They weren’t !” Connie snapped as she finally reached her breaking point. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you two all day! But did either of you even think about listening to me? Noooo, you were too busy threatening everyone even remotely suspicious!”
“Eh, to be fair, Gideon is like, always suspicious, all the time,” Mabel pointed out. “He just… wasn’t as suspicious as usual today.”
“That’s not the point,” Connie shook her head, annoyed. “They point is, you both got too carried away with this whole thing that you couldn’t even see clearly. And because of that, we wasted the entire day on nothing .”
Pearl and Mabel both took pause, exchanging a wide-eyed, apprehensive glance. Still, if neither of them wanted to admit they agreed with her, Garnet was more than ready to do so in their stead. “Connie is right,” she said, crossing her arms.. “Pearl, you’re not going to want to hear this, but from the way it sounds, you acted impulsively today. Recklessly. A bit like Amethyst, if you ask me.”
“W-what?” Pearl gaped, scandalized. “No, Garnet, you don’t understand. I was just… I-I didn’t mean to… I was… Like Amethyst ?” She ultimately folded into defeated dismay. “Really?”
“And Mabel-”
“Eh, it’s ok, Garnet,” Mabel shrugged. “Dipper’s gotten on my case a ton of times about how I get too carried away with stuff. He’s right and so are you, Connie.” She offered the other girl a small, apologetic smile as she rested a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry we didn’t listen to you. I’ll try to do better next time, ok? Especially since you’re usually right about almost everything.”
This caught Connie off guard just as much as Mabel suddenly pulling her into a tight hug did. Stll, she chuckled softly as she moved to return it, despite the warmth building up behind her cheeks. “W-well, I don’t know about everything ,” she said, flustered. “But thanks.”
“Wait, I still don’t understand,” Pearl shook her head as she read over Steven’s note again. “This says that Amethyst took the boys and ran away, because of course she would do something like that.” She huffed, rolling her eyes. “But where exactly are they running away to?”
Garnet adjusted her shades, relying on her future vision to show her an answer. And a troubling one at that. “The Kindergarten,” she said, her expression darkening.
Though Pearl let out an alarmed gasp, Mabel and Connie simply looked at each other, confused. “A kindergarten?” Connie asked, raising an eyebrow. “Why would Amethyst take them to a place like that?”
“Yeah, I mean, Dipper and Steven are a little old to be going back to kindergarten,” Mabel pointed out. “As fun as it is with all of the snacks and crafts and naps-”
“It’s not that kind of Kindergarten,” Garnet said flatly.
“Oh, of all of the thoughtless, irresponsible-” Pearl cut her angry grumbling off as she stormed over to the warp pad. “I’m going to go get them and bring them back before anyone gets hurt. Are you coming, Garnet?”
“No.” Garnet caught Mabel and Connie off guard when she put her hands on their shoulders and gently nudged them forward. “They are.”
“Huh?” the girls asked, equally surprised.
Likewise, Pearl started, baffled by the very suggestion. “No, that… that’s out of the question. The Kindergarten is extremely dangerous, Garnet. None of the kids should be there, that’s exactly why I’m going to get the boys. It was outrageous for Amethyst to even think about taking them to-”
“But it was perfectly alright for you to take the girls on an interrogation-spree all over town,” Garnet countered calmly.
Pearl blushed, clearing her throat. “I… I see your point. Alright, girls, come along then. But please stay close to me the entire time. The Kindergarten is… unnerving, to say the very least.”
Despite this ominous warning, Mabel readily ran over to the warp pad and hopped up onto it. Connie approached more cautiously, at least until Mabel grabbed her by the arm and pulled her up to join them. “Well, at least we actually know where Steven and Dipper are this time…” she said, apprehensive.
“Yeah, and we’re gonna save ‘em for sure this time!” Mabel boldly proclaimed. “Let’s hurry, Pearl, before they’re attacked by a pack of ravenous five-year olds fighting over the last chocolate milk!”
“Again,” Pearl sighed, equally exhausted and anxious as she warped them out. After the day she was having, it was hard not to be. And she had a feeling that, with their daunting destination in mind, it was only about to get worse from here. “It’s not that kind of Kindergarten.”
Amethyst made a point of ignoring the boys’ questions as she led the way to her mysterious ‘home’. She’d been largely silent since they’d left the train, but as they approached their apparent destination, she finally seemed to perk up. As for that destination, however…
The second they stepped past the threshold of a dark, towering canyon, something felt… off. That feeling only grew the deeper they descended into the canyon, between high walls of dry, desolate earth. Outside of their own echoing footsteps, the still, stale air was densely, deathly silent. At least until Amethyst cheerily decided to break it.
“Here we are!” she beamed, as if nothing was wrong about this unsettling place in the slightest. “Welcome to the Kindergarten! What do you guys think?”
“Um… It’s great!” Steven exclaimed, forcing a smile.
“Uh, Amethyst?” Dipper spoke up. “This… isn’t a kindergarten.”
“What? Yeah, it is,” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “I mean, there’s no flashy sign or anything, but this is the real deal, for sure. Believe me, I would know.”
“No, I mean-” Dipper cut himself off before starting over in terms a literal alien would understand. “Look, a kindergarten is like… well basically, it’s a school for really little kids. And this place… Well, this place couldn’t be any further than that.”
“Oh, what, you don’t believe me?” Amethyst challenged. “Come on, I’ll show you!” She grabbed both boys by the arms, dragging them further into the colorless canyon. As they went, they began to notice holes dotting the stony walls surrounding them. Deep holes of all sizes, each of them oddly almost human -shaped. Even stranger yet were the massive, drill-like machines clinging to the cliffsides, hanging precariously high over their heads like shadows against the dull sky. It all came together to create a place that felt practically haunted, as if they were intruding upon ground that should not be tread. Ground that had been taken and tainted by some destructive, devastating force.
Ground that had the very life sucked straight out of it so very long ago.
“Ok, Amethyst, what is this place, really?” Dipper finally posed the question both he and Steven were thinking.
“It’s kinda where I’m from,” Amethyst glanced back, shrugging.
“But… I thought Gems were from space?” Steven frowned, confused.
“Pearl and Garnet are,” Amethyst explained. “But I was made here on Earth. Like you two!”
“Wait, you’re from Earth ?” Dipper asked, taken aback. “But how-”
“Don’t act so surprised, dude,” Amethyst flashed him a wry smirk. “You know, you’re skeeving out the exact same way your uncle did when I brought him here a bunch of years ago.”
“ Stan’s been here before?” Dipper asked, bewildered.
“Oh, totally,” Amethyst chuckled. “I invited him out here to my old digs to chill with me, but he was like, kinda weirded out by all this? Don’t know why though. The Kindergarten’s where the party’s at. Oh, and check it out!”
She ran on ahead to a nearby boulder, happily throwing her arms around it. “Oh man, I missed this guy!” she exclaimed, grinning. “It’s my climbing rock!”
“Uh, hello!” Steven greeted the rock with an uncertain smile.
“Steven, that’s a rock,” Dipper deadpanned.
“Heck yeah it is!” Amethyst chuckled. “And over there-” She pointed to another boulder, vaulting herself up on top of it. “That’s the sitting rock! And that one was the rock that I kicked into two rocks!” She flashed a smile down at the boys below her. “Pretty cool, huh?”
“So, how long did you live here?” Steven asked.
“For a while, I guess,” Amethyst shrugged. “At least until I met your mom and the others.” She didn’t say much else as she flopped off the climbing rock and ran further into the Kindergarten. While Steven eagerly followed, Dipper stopped short as they passed directly under one of the drills, daunted by the sheer size of it alone.
“Whoa,” he breathed, unsettled. “What are all those things anyway?”
“Eh, it’s just some old Gem junk from a long time ago,” Amethyst dismissively replied. “It’s probably busted by now. But who cares about that? Check this out!” She pressed on ahead to one of the many holes dotting the cliff face, a noticeably smaller one against the ground. “Here’s the hole I came out of!”
“What?!” both boys exclaimed as they hurried over to see for themselves.
“It’s my hole ,” she repeated, smirking. “Look! It’s me siiiiizeeed…” Amethyst laughed as she inserted herself into the hole, sliding back into it seamlessly, as if it was indeed made for her and her alone. “Ah, it’s still got that good hole smell.”
“Let me get this straight,” Steven interrupted as he and Dipper peered into the hole.. “You came out of this hole?”
“This is where I was made, dude,” Amethyst nodded. “One day just… pop ! Right outta this hole.”
“Hold on,” Dipper said, floored as he tried to wrap his head around what she was implying. “So that’s how Gems are made? You guys just… come out of the ground?! Well, actually, I guess that makes sense, seeing as how gem gems are made, but still—this is crazy!”
“Yep! That’s exactly what Stan said too,” Amethyst said with teasing grin.
“So… if this is your hole…” Steven backed away to get a better look at the hundreds of other holes on that wall alone. Hundreds among potentially thousands lining the Kindergarten walls. “What about all the other holes?”
This question was ultimately left unanswered, however. Because just then, the boys started at the telltale chime of the nearby warp pad, making the arrival of three familiar faces.
“Oh, look! There they are!” Mabel shouted as she waved down to the boys. Likewise, Connie let out a sigh of relief that their lengthy, chaotic search had at long last reached its end. Even if it was in a place like, well, this .
“ Finally ,” Pearl shared their sentiment. Even so, she hesitated in climbing down from the warp pad to join the others on the ground. Rather, she stole an anxious glance around the Kindergarten. A place she’d been too far too many times, one that carried far too many unpleasant memories along with it.
“ Great ,” Amethyst groaned as she pulled herself out of her hole. “Here comes the fun police…”
“We’ve been looking everywhere for you guys,” Connie told the boys. “And I mean everywhere . I’m pretty sure half the town is in the process of filing restraining orders after our, uh, ‘investigation’ for you two.”
“Uh… that sounds… intense?” Dipper said, concerned. “What do you mean?”
“We’ll fill you in on all the deets later. For now, I’m so glad we finally found you!” Mabel pulled both boys into a tight hug. And then, just as quickly, she pulled away to swiftly smack them both on the backs of their heads.
“Ow!” Dipper shot his sister a glare. “Mabel, what-”
“That’s for running away without us, you dummies!” she pouted angrily. “If you’d actually waited for me and Connie, then we could have come along and joined in on the fun too. I would have even packed us some cookies for the road!”
“Well, they probably wouldn’t have lasted that long anyway thanks to the racoon…” Steven frowned.
“Trust us, Mabel, life on the road isn’t as fun as it sounds,” Dipper shook his head. “We just-”
“I don’t wanna hear a peep outta you, Mr. ‘Runs-Away-So-He-Doesn’t-Have-To-Face-His-Problems’,” Mabel turned her nose up at him. “I know you only did this so you wouldn’t have to talk to Wendy, even though that’s what you need to do!”
“Oh, come on!” Dipper exclaimed, exasperated. “That’s not what this is about!”
“Really?” Steven asked. “Because I thought you said that you weren’t going to talk to Wendy, even if we-”
“Steven!” Dipper harshly cut him off. Fortunately though, before their conversation could really continue, Pearl intervened as she came over to check on them.
“Oh, I’m so relieved to see you boys are alright,” she sighed, both relieved and exhausted. “Garnet said you’d all be here, but I didn’t want to believe it. Amethyst, what were you thinking bringing Steven and Dipper to a… Kindergarten ?”
“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Mabel frowned as she glanced around the stony, hole-ridden walls. “Huh. This place really doesn’t look a lot like your usual kindergarten. Where’s the toys and milk and little kids sitting on a rug for storytime.”
“It’s not that kind of kindergarten, remember?” Connie pointed out in a whisper.
“Well, Amethyst?” Pearl raised an eyebrow down at the other Gem. “Care to explain?”
“I dunno,” Amethyst scowled, kicking a nearby pebble. “We were in the neighborhood. And hey, don’t act like I’m the only bad example. You brought Mabel and Connie here, after all.”
“Only because Garnet said it was alright,” Pearl asserted, crossing her arms. She started, however, when she felt Steven lightly tug on her sash to get her attention.
“Pearl?” he began, apprehensive “Was Amethyst really… made here?”
Pearl drew in a sharp breath as she sharply turned her attention back on Amethyst. “How much did you tell them?”
“What? You mean about the bad thing?” Amethyst asked, growing angrier and angrier by the second. “How this bad place is where bad Gems came to grow more bad Gems? Is that what you’re talking about?!”
“No way. They made other Gems here?” Dipper asked, awestruck.
“Cool! Where are they?!” Mabel grinned, glancing around.
“Thankfully, not here,” Pearl said. “Amethyst, none of them are ready to hear about this!”
“A-about what?” Connie asked, unnerved.
“Oh, but don’t worry, you guys,” Amethyst faked a smile as she pressed past Pearl to step closer to the kids. “Everything’s just fine now.”
“Amethyst-” Pearl attempted to cut in, only to end up ignored.
“It all worked out. We won !”
“ Stop -”
“And we shut this place down so the Earth would be safe from parasites like me !”
“Amethyst! That’s enough !” Pearl shouted as she protectively stepped in front of the kids.
“Pearl?” Steven spoke up, worried. Dipper, Mabel, and Connie all shared that worry, none of them quite sure of what to think. Something was going on here, something with roots far deeper than any of them could have anticipated. Something that none of them had the slightest clue how to even begin to approach.
“Oh, kids, I’m so sorry,” Pearl sighed as she glanced back at them. “None of you should have ever had to see this horrible place.”
Amethyst bristled when she heard this. If everything else hadn’t been enough to set her off, it proved to finally be what pushed her over the edge. “Then why don’t you just leave ?!” she snapped as she summoned her whip.
Pearl barely had a chance to glance back at her before Amethyst’s whip coiled around her waist. The kids gasped, alarmed, as Amethyst tossed her hard toward the nearest drill, which she crashed into brutally before hitting the ground.
“Admit it!” Amethyst yelled, furious. “I’m just an embarrassment to you!”
This time, Pearl managed to dodge her whip, not noticing as it sliced through one of the legs of the drill. At the same time, the kids rushed forward, still at a loss over what to do. But even still, one thing was clear: they had to put a stop to this sudden violence, and fast.
“Amethyst, wait!” Steven exclaimed, distraught. “You don’t have to do this!”
“Y-yeah!” Mabel agreed. “You guys are friends! You shouldn’t fight!”
Amethyst said nothing as she turned on the kids, shapeshifting her hand to be big enough to grab all four of them at once. There was little they could do as she tossed them all aside, refusing to let them distract her from the true target of her rage. Refusing to let them get in the middle of the tension that had been building between her and Pearl for far too long now.
“Uh, guys?” Dipper said once they landed, thankfully unscathed. “Maybe we shouldn’t get involved in this…”
“No way!” Steven exclaimed. “We gotta stop this before they hurt each other!”
“Or before they end up hurting us on accident,” Connie winced as she shielded herself from the rubble of the rock Amethyst had just viciously shattered.
“Amethyst!” Pearl shouted as she summoned her spear, just in case. “I don’t want to fight you!”
“I wouldn’t wanna fight me neither!” Amethyst snarled.
Far too enraged to back down now, she curled into a ball and sped straight at Pearl at a frightening speed. She rolled out of the way just in time, firing a few energy blasts from her spear to try and slow Amethyst down. That tactic proved fruitless when Amethyst simply outmaneuvered them, rolling against the wall of the canyon before leaping high into the air. From there, she threw her whip down at Pearl hard, only for her spear to end up slicing it clean in half.
“You guys!” Steven rushed forward again, despite his friends warning against it. “Stop it!”
“Stay out of it!” Amethyst fiercely ordered. She summoned another whip, tossing it at him and letting it tie itself around him tight. The force of it alone was enough to knock him back and send him to the ground, though it wasn’t long before the others were at his side to pry him free.
“Are you ok?” Connie asked, worried.
“I’m fine,” Steven quickly assured. He frowned as he looked up to see Pearl and Amethyst still duking it out without any signs of stopping. “But they’re not.”
Once again, Pearl easily leapt out of the way of Amethyst’s whip. By now, this brawl had clearly reached a stalemate, something Pearl knew just as much as she knew Amethyst would never admit it. “Amethyst, stop this!” she urged sternly. “You can’t beat me!”
“I don’t CARE!” Amethyst practically screamed. In her rage, she pulled two more whips out of her gem, brutally cracking them in Pearl’s direction. Both of them latched onto her spear and she yanked hard enough to nearly rip the weapon clean out of her hands. “I’m not gonna let you stand there and remind me of everything I hate about myself!”
With another seething shout, she rippled her whips again, letting a burst of energy split through them both. Pearl could do nothing to stop the resounding explosion they caused, one that rattled the entire Kindergarten, knocking the kids to the brittle ground. For her part, Pearl was thrown back hard into the same drill she’d struck earlier, struggling to pick herself up after such a brutal blow even as Amethyst stormed over to her.
“I never asked for it to be like this.” Pearl looked up to find that Amethyst’s anger was quickly giving way to despair. Heavy tears streaked down her face as she choked out a sob, her voice ragged as she admitted the truth. And what an utterly devastating truth it was. “I never asked to come out here! I never asked to be one of them! I never asked to be made !”
For a moment, Pearl was stunned into silence. All she could do was stare at her teammate, nearly moved to tears herself at the sight of just how clearly miserable she really was. By how miserable she’d probably been for a long time now, without any of them even noticing at all.
“Amethyst…” she muttered, unsure of where to even start. Not that she got much of a chance to as the kids finally found their chance to intervene.
“Amethyst, please, no more!” Steven pleaded tearfully. Connie, Dipper, and Mabel joined him, all just as intent on finding some way, any way to stop this. “I know you’re upset, but I can’t stand to watch you two hurt each other.”
“Seriously, can’t you two just… talk this out or something?” Dipper anxiously suggested. “It’s bound to be easier than just beating each other senseless.”
Amethyst only had time to draw in a breath before a sickening creak echoed through the air above. Everyone glanced up to find an alarming sight: one of the legs keeping the drill hanging over their heads had snapped. Acting quickly, Steven summoned a bubble around himself and the others, only to find that someone was still standing right outside of its protection.
“Amethyst!” Steven cried, afraid. He shouted for her again, only for Amethyst to look between him and the drill before she ultimately ran off, alone. Right as the drill came crashing down on them all.
Thankfully, the bubble did its job perfectly. As the dust began to settle, Steven let it fall, revealing the machine’s wrecked remains, and little else.
Amethyst was nowhere in sight.
“Amethyst!” Steven ran forward, desperately searching for her. The others weren’t far behind, all of them hoping against hope that the worst hadn’t happened. That it wasn’t already too late.
“Amethyst, where are you!?” Mabel called as loudly as she could.
“Wait, do you guys hear that?” Dipper asked as he caught the faintest sound of something nearby.
“Hm…” Connie paused, listening for it again. “It sounds like it’s coming from-”
“The hole!” Steven gasped. He led the way, running for Amethyst’s hole, only to find it blocked by a heap of rubble. Pearl stood a distance away, shaken, as she watched the kids work together to remove the blockade. Still, she couldn’t deny the overwhelming relief when they peered inside and found exactly who they were looking for.
“Amethyst!” Steven exclaimed, surprised at the sight of her. She was huddled at the very back of her hole, her back to them, her shoulders shaking, and her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Still, if nothing else, it seemed as though she had escaped the drill’s collapse mostly unscathed. Physically, at least.
“Go away,” Amethyst muttered bitterly. “I’m bad and you guys shouldn’t be around me.”
“What?” Connie asked, confused. “That’s ridiculous!”
“Yeah!” Mabel soundly agreed. “Amethyst, you’re like, one of the coolest Gems we know! Then again, we only know like, four Gems, but still, you’re great!”
“And hey, even though things are kind of… rough right now, we still had a fun time hanging out with you today, even if we almost died several times,” Dipper said, “Right, Steven?”
“We did!” Steven nodded. “Look, Amethyst, we don’t really know what any of this means, but-”
“Yeah, you don’t,” Amethyst coldly cut in. “‘Cause if you did, then you wouldn’t be talking to me.”
The kids exchanged a glance of this, none of them knowing how to respond. Even without the full story of this place, they could tell it caused plenty of pain in the past, not just for the Earth, but for the very Gem created in it. Pain that none of them truly understood… but that didn’t mean they couldn’t turn to someone else who just might.
“I have an idea,” Steven suddenly said. “Pearl, you gotta get in here. You have to help us.”
“But-”
“You have to talk to her,” he sternly insisted.
“Maybe if you do, then she’ll feel better and come out!” Mabel added with a small, reassuring smile.
For as many misgivings as she might have had with this plan, Pearl still drew in a determined breath all the same. “Y-you’re right,” she said. “As difficult as all of this is, avoiding it isn’t helping anything.”
“Hey, doesn’t that sound familiar, bro-bro?” Mabel asked, elbowing her brother.
“Mabel, now’s really not the time for this,” Dipper returned in a whisper. Even if he knew she was right, as much as he really didn’t want to admit it.
Meanwhile, Pearl knelt down to the hole, slowly easing her way into the opening in the wall to take a seat next to Amethyst. For what felt like ages, neither of them said anything, until Pearl finally worked up the courage to go first. “Amethyst…” she reached her hand out, only to end up pulling it back “Amethyst, I had no idea you’ve been upset about this.”
“What?!” Amethyst scoffed as she finally turned to face her. She made no effort to hide the tears still rolling down her face. “You had no idea?! This is like, my entire existence! You wanna pretend like none of this ever happened! You think I’m just a big mistake !”
“No, no!” Pearl quickly protested. “Amethyst, you’re not the mistake. You’re just the byproduct of a… big mistake…”
She trailed off, flustered by her own slip-up. Understandably, Amethyst only offered her a bitter glare while the kids shook their heads disapprovingly. Still, Pearl tried her best to recollect herself and recover from it. “No, that’s not-” she awkwardly tried again. “I… I just never thought of this as you . None of this is your fault. You didn’t build this place.”
Despite everything else, Amethyst paused when she heard this. Because nobody, not even Rose herself, had ever told her this before. Nobody had ever told her that she wasn’t actually part of this problem after all. Nobody had ever told her that this wasn’t her burden to bear.
Nobody… until now .
“I’m sorry, Amethyst,” Pearl gave her a small, sincere smile. “I hope you can forgive me. You’re the one good thing that came out of this mess. I always thought you were proud of that.”
That gentle smile stayed as Pearl extended an inviting hand to her. One that sought to pull her out of the guilt she’d been drowning in for practically her entire existence. Guilt that, Amethyst slowly realized, should have never been hers in the first place.
So, she took Pearl’s hand and let her lead out of her hole. Away from the shadows of her past and to a better, brighter future instead. And unlike so many times before, this time when she left the hole she’d emerged from… she didn’t bother looking back.
The kids shared a sigh of relief when the pair of Gems emerged from the hole together. That relief only grew when they watched Amethyst silently showed her gratitude to Pearl in the form of a tight, tearful hug. One that she was more than happy to return.
“Aw, they’re friends again!” Mabel said, beaming.
“Yeah…” Steven nodded with a content smile of his own. “And you know? I have a feeling things will be even better between them from now on.”
“Even better…” Dipper repeated to himself. If spending the entire day on the run hadn’t taught him his lesson the hard way, what just happened here certainly had. He couldn’t avoid the problem staring him in the face any longer. Much like Pearl and Amethyst, he had to stop running and confront it. He had to talk to Wendy–no matter how difficult it might be.
Because maybe, just maybe, if he did, then things might actually end up even better after all.
“Is everybody ready to head home?” Pearl asked as she led the way to the warp pad.
“ More than ready…” Connie said, yawning after such a taxing day.
“Yes!” Steven agreed. “Let’s go home so Steven can sleep in a bed!”
“Yeah, I think I’ve had enough of life on the road for one day…” Dipper said, just as tiredly.
“Seriously though, if you guys ever decide to do this again, please let us know!” Mabel pleaded.
“Somehow I doubt we’ll be doing this again…” Pearl sent Amethyst a sly smirk. She returned it in full, knowing she had no reason to run anymore. Not now that she knew exactly where she belonged.
With that, the Gems and the kids warped away, leaving the Kindergarten behind. And yet, even still, in the empty silence that followed, something almost seemed to echo faintly through the canyon.
The echo of the Gems who had built it centuries ago.
By the next day, everything had finally seemed to return to normal. Or almost everything, something that Dipper planned on fixing as soon as he could. That was exactly why he was sitting outside of the Mystery Shack, anxiously and eagerly waiting, all while rehearsing what he wanted to say. None of that seemed to matter much though, when he finally spotted who he was waiting for strolling in for her shift.
“Wendy!” he called as he got up and ran over to her.
“Dipper!” Wendy offered him a relieved grin. “There you are, dude! I was looking all over for you yesterday.”
“W-wait, really?” Dipper asked, surprised.
“Well, duh! My friends told me that they gave you, Steven, and Amethyst a ride out of town yesterday because you all were ‘on the run’ or something?”
“Oh, right…” Dipper frowned, a bit embarrassed.
“Gotta say, that’s pretty gutsy of you, man,” Wendy grinned, though it quickly faded. “But at the same time… it could have been pretty dangerous out there. I’m glad to see you’re back safe and sound. Hobo living… probably isn’t for you.”
“Yeah, it really wasn’t…” Dipper chuckled, rubbing his arm. Ultimately though, he decided to get to the point. After all, there really was no point putting this off any longer than he already had. “So uh, Wendy? Can I talk to you about… something?”
“Anything, dude,” Wendy nodded, smiling.
“Well I, um, just wanted to tell you that… I’m sorry for what happened the other day,” he said earnestly. “You know, for how I kinda ended up breaking you and Robbie up?”
“Oh what? You’re still worried about that?” Wendy asked. “Don’t be, dude. I’m really not even that torn up about it even more and you shouldn’t be either.”
“What?”
“I said it's ok,” she assured with a warm laugh. “I mean, yeah it totally sucks that that happened, but like, you did the right thing. I’m glad you told me the truth about what Robbie was doing. You sort of bailed me out of a relationship that had, to be honest, been going downhill fast for a long time.”
“B-but you were really upset,” Dipper said, frowning. “And I thought you-”
“Well, yeah, I was upset at first,” Wendy shrugged. “But I’ve had time to get over it. I’m sorry if the way I blew up over it made you feel bad or like you did something wrong. Because like I said, you didn’t.”
“So… so we’re cool then?” Dipper asked, hopeful.
“Yeah, man,” Wendy smirked as she fist-bumped him. “We’re totally cool. You know, I was gonna steal Stan’s ties and put them on a bunch of random exhibits in the museum. You wanna help?”
“Oh man, do I!” Dipper agreed, laughing as he ran inside after her.
At the same time, Steven, Mabel, and Connie emerged from their hiding spot around the corner of the shack. As much as none of them wanted to admit they’d been eavesdropping, they were still all more than relieved to see that once again, everything had turned out alright. Just like it had in the Kindergarten the previous day.
“Well, it looks like Dipper had nothing to worry about after all,” Mabel concluded, grinning. “I can’t wait to rub it in his face that I was right all along later.”
“I’m just glad things are finally calming down around here,” Connie let out a relaxed sigh. “Who knew that just talking stuff out and listening to each other could solve so many problems?”
“I think it’s safe to say we’ve all learned an important lesson here,” Steven agreed. “Sleeping on hay is really overrated.”
The girls couldn’t help but laugh at this, and though Steven joined them, his laughter soon fell into silence at the thought of the Kindergarten. To be honest, he’d been thinking about it ever since they left it; the image of those dead, decaying canyon walls was practically haunting his mind. And so too was everything Amethyst had said about it.
“How this bad place is where bad Gems came to grow more bad Gems?”
“Oh, but don’t worry, you guys. Everything’s just fine now. It all worked out. We won!”
“And we shut this place down so the Earth would be safe from parasites like me!”
The Kindergarten… a place where Gems were brought to life, at the expense of the very planet they were formed in. It was a daunting thought, especially when Steven remembered just how many other empty holes the Kindergarten was filled with. How much damage had Gemkind done to this planet in the past? Had they noticed? Had they even cared ?
Maybe most of them hadn’t… but some had.
Steven allowed himself a smile as he stole a glance back up at the temple. The Crystal Gems had stood up for this planet, even if none of the rest of their kind did. They’d fought for it, they’d saved it, and they’d stayed here to protect it with their very lives. That was why Steven knew he could rest easy. Because as long as they were here, then their planet, their home would be safe.
He was certain of it.
Notes:
Next time... Lion starts to act a bit strange...
Chapter 18: Straight to Video
Summary:
As Steven starts to wonder more about what his mother might have been like, Lion begins acting strangely. Meanwhile, Dipper and Mabel are having mother-related woes all their own.
Notes:
A shortie this time, but an actually pertty important one that sets stuff up for waaaaaay on in the future (like as far out as UF2). I don't have much else to say about it, other than I like how it turned out. So lets pop the tape in and see what this whole thing is all about! Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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P WAIGX, T GTQ, TNS QXMDVBEH WMOGIW
AAP BNHMWE P PBOC'W FACI
YICEELN VXASC MO QI VLPMFES
“Hm…” Steven perched a hand against his chin, deep in thought. The Mystery Shack’s vending machine had a lot to offer, and he wanted to make sure he made the right choice for a snack. Fortunately, he had plenty of support on his side when it came to making such a momentous decision.
“You got this, Steven,” Wendy smirked from her spot at the counter.
“Thanks, Wendy,” Steven nodded, his attention still devoted to the machine. “It’s just so hard to choose though! I mean, I could get a bag of chips, which would be tasty, but I always get chips. Shouldn’t I be living life to the fullest and trying new things?”
“Dude, if that’s how you wanna roll, I totally recommend the new spicy pretzels in row seven,” Soos cut in. “They’re easily the most dangerous thing in there, trust me.”
“Hm… good point…”
“If you still can’t make up your mind, why don’t you ask your buddy over there?” Wendy nodded over at Lion as he strolled over to the ice cream freezer. As he bluntly pressed his muzzle against it, Steven groaned, already knowing all too well what his pink pet was asking him for.
“Ugh, Lion Lickers?” Steven cringed. “Lion, those are gross. No offense.” Disgruntled, Lion padded off, flopping to lie down on the other side of the gift shop as he fixed Steven with an annoyed glare all the while.
“You guys better hurry it up,” Wendy advised. “We have to close up for the night soon.”
“Yeah, you don’t want Mr. Pines chasing you out with the hose again like last time,” Soos added, frowning.
“Well, I wouldn’t mind, but Lion doesn’t really like getting wet,” Steven flashed a knowing grin Lion’s way. For his part, the pink beast only briefly, dryly regarded him before letting out a low growl before he made a point of curling up to go to sleep. “Hmph,” Steven crossed his arms. “Looks like somebody’s being a grumpy-grump today.”
“Well, he is a cat–sort of,” Wendy pointed out. “They can be pretty temperamental little guys.”
“Or in Lion’s case, a big guy,” Soos added, chuckling. Steven laughed along with him, but only for a moment as a conversation coming in from the other room caught everyone’s attention.
“So we got the waterfall back and saved the town,” Mabel wandered into the shack, cordless phone in hand. She wore an excited grin as she detailed the events of the summer so far to whoever was on the other end of the line. “And then we solved this big huge conspiracy and found the eighth and a half president and then we almost went to space–and almost died–and then we-”
Mabel stopped short, her smile slowly fading as she paused to listen to the harsh-sounding voice on the other side of the phone. “Oh,” she said, her shoulders dropping a bit. It wasn’t lost on Steven, Soos, or Wendy when she let out a small, disappointed sigh as she absently twirled a lock of her hair. “R-right. Uh… sorry… Yeah, I… I’ll get him.”
She sighed again when she pulled the phone away before calling for her brother. “Dipper!”
“Yeah?” he asked, poking his head into the gift shop.
“Mom wants to talk to you,” Mabel said as she held the phone out to him.
At the mere mention of their mother alone, Dipper froze, his eyes going wide. He quickly played off his alarm, however, when he noticed the group that was standing behind Mabel, watching curiously. “Uh… Y-yeah, ok,” he hesitantly took the phone, steadying himself for a second before he offered his mother a terse, tense greeting. “H-hello, Mom.”
Whatever she had to say to him was lost on all the others, though Mabel could hear a little as she stayed close by her brother’s side. To Soos and Wendy, this entire conversation seemed strange, from the way the twins kept exchanging unease, almost anxious glances, to the way Dipper could barely get a word in edgewise as their mother continued hotly rambling to him about something .
To Steven, however, this was all so fascinating .
He stood by, watching the twins with wide eyes as they spoke to their mother, an experience he’d never had and never would. It was so intriguing, to the point that he hardly even noticed just how unusual his friends were acting. He hardly even noticed just how much they didn’t really want to be speaking to her at all.
“Y-yes, I have been,” Dipper nodded, clutching the phone like a vice. “I know… But I-” He stopped short, suddenly paling at whatever his mother was telling him. “N-no! You don’t have to–Mabel was just kidding about all that stuff, you know how she can get!”
Mabel let out a scoff at this, fixing her brother with a frustrated glare that he all but ignored as he continued pleading with their mother. “Seriously, Mom, we’re fine. You don’t have to come check all the way up here to check on us–” His dread evened out into something akin to resignation with whatever his mother told him next. “Yeah, no, right, of course. You’re way too busy for that anyway, I forgot.” He scowled down at his shoes as he sullenly returned her farewell. “Yes, I will. T-thank you. Bye.”
The moment Dipper hung up, he finally let out the loud, irritated groan he'd been biting back the entire call. He shoved the phone back into Mabel’s hands as he stormed over to the other side of the gift shop, ranting all the while. “‘Ugh! She drives me nuts ! ‘Make sure you’re keeping up with your summer studies so you can get into an ivy league someday’ this and ‘Stop reading those mystery novels, they’ll rot your brain’ that. Even when we’re several hours away, Mom’s still acting like she can control every little thing we do!”
“Well, hey,” Mabel shrugged, forcing on a small smile. “At least she sort of listened to some of the stuff I was telling her about this time. Until she told me to ‘stop making up wild stories again’ anyway…”
“Yikes…” Soos spoke up, frowning. “No offense, dudes, but your mom sounds sort of… intense.”
“‘Intense’ doesn’t even begin to cover it,” Dipper huffed, crossing his arms. “Our mom is probably the most stubborn, overbearing, bossy woman on Earth.”
“ But ,” Mabel piped up as her already wavering smile widened. “She only acts like that because she really loves us a whole, whole lot!”
“Yeah,” Dipper bitterly scoffed under his breath. “ Sure, she does…”
Steven, on the other hand, was more than ready to enthusiastically agree with Mabel. “It sounds like she really cares a lot about you both. It’s nice that she calls in to check on you every now and then while you’re so far from home.”
“More like she calls to nag ,” Dipper countered, rolling his eyes.
“Aw, come on, man,” Wendy said, smiling. “Steven’s right. Sure, your mom sounds like she can be a little over the top, but who’s mom isn’t? From what I remember about my mom, she was the same way.”
A long beat of silence passed as the others slowly took in what she’d just said. In the end, Steven was the one to finally voice the question all of them were thinking. “Wait… Wendy, your mom isn’t around anymore?”
Wendy nodded, sighing. “Yeah,” she looked away, loosely rubbing her arm. “She went out driving when it was raining one day years back. She got into a really bad wreck and, well, you can probably figure the rest out.”
Sad silence filled the gift shop once more, though this time, Wendy didn’t let the others linger in it for too long. “But it’s ok,” she assured, putting on as much of a smile as she could manage, especially for the kids. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I miss her a ton, but… I’ve learned to deal with it and live without having her around.”
“I know what you mean,” Steven spoke up. “I don’t really know what it’s like to have a mom around at all since mine gave up her physical form to have me.”
The twins offered him a set of sympathetic glances and Soos did much of the same. “Oh man, dude, I always kind of forget you don’t really have a mom…”
“Yeah,” Wendy added, frowning. “At least I got to have my mom when I was a kid. But if I’d never had her, not even any memories with her… man, I couldn’t even imagine. But you, Steven? You’re still so upbeat despite all that. You’re pretty tough.”
“Um… thanks?” Steven smiled. Even if he wasn’t exactly sure what was so ‘tough’ about growing up without a mother, something he’d gotten so used to he hardly ever thought twice about it anymore.
“You know…” Mabel said, staring thoughtfully down at the phone in her hands. “Hearing all that makes me feel kinda grateful for our mom. I mean, sure, she does fuss a lot and she isn’t always the best listener. But at least she’s still there for us, right, Dipper?”
Dipper sharply turned to his sister, drawing in a breath to answer before he swiftly stopped himself. He backed down when he met the questioning looks other others were sending his way, ultimately deciding against whatever it was he really wanted to say in favor of a soft, noncommittal, “Yeah, sure, whatever.”
“She does sound like she’s pretty great,” Steven obliviously agreed. “Next time she calls, you’ve gotta let me say hi to her!”
“That’s… a bad idea,” Dipper apprehensively muttered. Mabel, on the other hand, was much more taken with such a suggestion.
“Yeah!” she excitedly exclaimed. “I have a feeling Mom would just love you, Steven!”
“Thanks,” Steven chuckled. “I’m sure my mom would have loved you guys too! Maybe. Probably. I think?” His smile slowly faded as he paused for a beat. “I’m not really sure, actually. I just wish… I knew a little more about my mom. Just to know what she was like for myself.”
Almost as soon as Steven said this, he jumped as something soft suddenly settled against the side of his arm. He looked over to find Lion, leaning his furry forehead against his arm without any sign of moving. Steven gasped, stars in his eyes at this unexpected show of affection. One that Mabel was more than happy to snap an adorable photo of for her scrapbook.
“That’s a keeper!” she grinned as he proudly pulled the polaroid out of her camera.
“Blink if this means you love me,” Steven whispered to Lion, watching him intently all the while. After a moment of silent, blank staring, Lion did exactly that–only after Steven gently blew in his face to force it along. “He loves me!”
As touching as this exchange was, it was soon broken by Stan as he sullenly strolled into the room. “Hey, hey!” he snapped when he got a look at the state of the gift shop. “What’s everyone doing lazin’ around in here? It’s quitting time! And the sooner you all amscray, the sooner I can settle in to watch my show.”
“You mean that old soap opera about that duchess?” Dipper asked, smirking.
“N-no!” Stan exclaimed, defensive. “And even if I did watch a show like The Duchess Approves , I would only do it for the deeply relatable characters and the gripping real-world commentary.” He stopped, only for a moment, to meet the confused looks the others were all sending his way before he let out a frustrated sigh. “You know what? Forget it. Soos! Wendy! Close up shop, will ya!”
“You got it, boss!” Soos readily saulted.
“Uh huh, I’ll get right on it,” Wendy deadpanned as she took her name tag off and grabbed her jacket.
“And as for you, kid,” Stan scowled down at Steven. “Hit the road! And take that frilly furball with you.”
“Aw, ok, Mr. Pines,” Steven begrudgingly agreed. “See you guys, tomorrow!” he waved to the twins as he headed for the door, with Lion padding along after him.
“Bye!” Dipper and Mabel called as they saw him off. Almost as soon as he was gone, Mabel gasped as she looked down at the phone again.
“Oh my gosh, I forgot to tell Mom about Lion!” she exclaimed. “I’ve gotta call her back so she can hear all about how adorable he is and-”
“No,” Dipper flatly cut her off as he snatched the phone straight out of her hand.
‘Ditto,” Stan sourly agreed as he took the phone away from them both. “The last thing I need to hear is more of your mom yapping about how she doesn’t ‘trust me’ or how she thinks I’m ‘irresponsible’ or a ‘criminal’.”
“But Grunkle Stan, you are a criminal,” Mabel pointed out.
“Yeah?” Stan didn’t bother arguing as he held the phone even further out of the twins’ reach. “And your point is…?”
“And… all done!” Steven proclaimed as he finished taking the cushions off the couch to fashion a bed for Lion. “I made sure to make it extra cushy, just the way you like it!” While he smiled, satisfied with his work, Lion paid it little mind. Instead, he leapt up onto the loft to take up shop on Steven’s bed.
“Hey! Get out of there, Lion!” Steven chastised as he ran up to join him. “This is the Steven bed, not the Lion bed.”
Despite this, Lion didn’t so much as budge, even as Steven tried pushing him off with as much force as he could muster. “Come… on! Whoa!” As he fell to the floor, Lion rolled himself up in the comforter, pulling one of Steven’s many stuffed animals into his mouth along with it. “Hey! Sir Bearrington!” Steven scowled as he held his hand out expectantly. “Lion…”
To his relief, Lion dropped the toy before sullenly slinking off of the bed and back downstairs where he belonged. “You know, Lion, I usually love it when you act all cute like this, but it’s kinda late and I’m really tired,” Steven sighed as he climbed into bed and covered up. “But we can play tomorrow if you want, ok? Night, Lion!”
Lion only offered a soft snore as a response, one that Steven barely heard over his own sleepy yawn. “Love you…” he mumbled as his eyes began to grow heavy. “…in the morning…”
With that. Steven drifted off to dreamland. And what an odd sort of dreamland it was tonight.
When he opened his eyes, he was met with the sight of a pale, bright sky above, with tall, oddly pink grass surrounding him on all sides. It was quite unlike anything he’d ever seen before, to the point that it quickly caught him off guard as he tried to take it all in.
“Whoa…” he thought, intrigued. “What is this place?”
As bewildered as he was, he soon reached another newfound realization. One that was much more alarming by far.
“I can’t breathe!”
Sure enough, no air entered his lungs, despite his mouth hanging open, begging for it. Suddenly frantic, he tried flailing his limbs, only to find they were stuck under something heavy. Just as he was starting to running out of air, however, a familiar voice slowly began to break through the otherwise breezy silence.
“Steven…?” they called, their voice soft as the corners of his vision began to darken. “Steven?!”
“ Steven !” Pearl cried, aghast at the sight before her. Most of Steven’s upper body was securely pinned under Lion, with only his legs out, kicking wildly in a frenzied attempt to escape. “Steven! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Hang on! I’ve got you!” Pearl shoved her weight against Lion, who stoically remained firmly planted in place, much to her annoyance. “Ugh, Lion! Let him go!”
At a loss, Pearl switched tactics, moving to pull on Steven’s legs instead. This proved much more effective, as Lion finally gave up and stood, freeing Steven and allowing him to take in a large gasp of air.
“Oh thank goodness!” Pearl grabbed Steven, pulling him into a tight, practically suffocating hug.
“P-Pearl!” Steven exclaimed, still breathless. “I can’t-”
“Oh! Sorry!” Pearl blushed, quickly letting him go.
“What happened?” Steven questioned, disoriented.
“Steven, are you alright?” Pearl pressed. “Why was Lion sleeping on top of you?!”
“I don’t know…” Steven looked over at Lion, curious and confused. “He’s being a little clingy today. But that’s ‘cause I’m his favorite!” At this, Lion suddenly grabbed him with his paw and shoved his face into his mane. “See?” Steven asked, his voice muffled before he pushed himself away. “Wait… why are you here, Pearl?”
“M-me?” Pearl flinched. “Nothing! I was just, uh… w-well, you know how I always say, um… I just… uh…”
She anxiously trailed off, any and all excuses falling apart the longer Steven and Lion silently stared at her. In the end, she gave up, with no choices left to reveal the strange truth. “I like to watch you sleep sometimes. And by sometimes I mean… often.”
Awkward silence filled the room, but only for a moment. Unsure of what to make of this revelation, Steven shook his head and announced, “Okie-dokie, it’s time for everyone to leave Steven alone. I’m a growing boy and I need my rest.”
With that, Steven marched back to bed and flopped back into it. Before he could even try to sleep, however, he soon found Lion standing by his bedside, staring down at him intently.
“Lion, that means you too,” Steven grumbled, closing his eyes. When he opened them a moment later, not only was Lion still there, but Pearl was too. Frustrated, Steven grabbed a pillow, jumping to his feet to shoo them both off. “Rah! Rah!” he shouted, watching as both of them crawled away at long last. “Ugh…” Steven sighed, exasperated, as he lay back down. As tired as he already was, sleep should have come easy to him. Except…
He started when he felt a sudden weight moving onto his chest. “Wha-” he opened his eyes again, only to find Lion resting a heavy paw on top of him. “Lion!” he loudly complained as he shoved the pink paw away. Only for Lion to set it right back down in the exact same place. All Steven could do was let out a long, resigned sigh as he stared up at Lion, thoroughly annoyed.
“This is gonna be a long night, isn’t it?”
“Ready…? Race!”
“Woo!” Mabel slammed the button on her controller down as the kart race began. Dipper was just a split second behind her from the starting line, and she didn’t hesitate to playfully taunt him over it. “Uh oh, bro-bro, looks like you better wake those reflexes of yours up! Or else you might not win this time around!”
“Mabel, I’ve won the past three races now; my streak isn’t about to end anytime soon,” Dipper grinned triumphantly. “Still, speaking of waking up…” his smile faded as he noticed Steven’s kart, in dead last as it drove straight into a wall.
Confused, the twins paused the game and stole a glance back at him. He was laying on his stomach on his bed behind them, with his face pressed against his controller while he softly snoozed. “Uh, Steven?” Dipper tried. Steven, however, stayed soundly asleep.
“Hey, Steven! Wake up!” Mabel shouted much more loudly. She went a step further by poking him squarely in the cheek, finally startling him awake.
“Huh?” Steven groggily mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up. “Dipper? Mabel? When did you guys get here?”
“Um, we’ve been here for almost an hour now,” Dipper said.
“Yeah, and you were a lot more awake when we got here,” Mabel pointed out, grinning.
“Oh, right,” Steven nodded, as a long yawn slipped out. “Sorry. I’m just a little…” he trailed off as he nodded off again, only for Mabel to wake him up with another cheek poke. “Tired. I didn’t really sleep that well last night.”
“Why not?” Dipper asked, frowning.
“Well,” Steven yawned again. “It’s all because a certain lion of mine kept trying to sleep on top of me last night.” He shot a dry glare back at Lion. Ironically, he was getting far more sleep than Steven had last night as he peacefully napped on the other side of the bed.
“Aw! He just wanted to cuddle!” Mabel brightly exclaimed. “I know what that’s like. Waddles always wants to sleep on top of me all the time too! It’s so precious !”
“Yeah, it was really cute. The only problem is that Lion’s a lot bigger than Waddles is…” Steven sighed. “Between him and Pearl watching me while I was trying to sleep, I barely got any rest last night!”
“Wait, why was Pearl watching you sleep?” Dipper raised an eyebrow.
“I… have no idea,” Steven blankly admitted. “But anyway, I’m so tired I could…” Once again, Steven’s eyes slipped shut as his head lolled forward. While Dipper was ready to wake him up, Mabel ended up beating him to it.
“Oh! Oh! Oh!” she grabbed Steven by the shoulder and shook him awake again. “Steven! I have an awesome idea! You should stay at the Mystery Shack tonight! That way Lion can’t get in and sleep on your face and we can have the most epic slumber party ever!”
“Whoa, Mabel, that’s actually a really good idea,” Dipper agreed, smiling. “Though it probably won’t be too much of a ‘party’ if Steven’s that tired.” He nodded back at Steven, who, unsurprisingly, had already started falling back asleep again.
“Wha-?” Steven perked up at the sound of his name. “No way. I’ll totally stay awake long enough for us to… what are we gonna do again?”
“We’re gonna have the slumber party of the ages!” Mabel excitedly exclaimed. “And it’ll be great! We’ll have snacks, do crafts, watch movies, have a pillow fight-”
“And most of all, sleep ,” Dipper firmly asserted. “Right, Steven?”
All Steven could offer was an exhausted thumbs-up as he flopped onto the bed, far too tired to keep his eyes open for another second.
As planned, that night, Steven headed back down to the shack with the twins, backpack and sleeping bag in tow. He’d made it more than clear to Lion that he wasn’t invited to this slumber party as he left him behind at the temple. And as Steven settled into the attic that evening, he was confident that he’d actually get some much-needed sleep tonight.
Though not without having a little fun first.
“Ok, Steven, this is one of the most important choices we’ll ever make,” Mabel began, her tone and expression both dead serious as she asked, “Should we make our friendship bracelets with beads or charms?”
“Oh, definitely charms!” Steven exclaimed, smiling. “That way they’ll be even more special!”
“Agreed!” Mabel nodded as she set their tools out for the craft ahead of them. “By the way, you don’t mind passing those mini-cupcakes over here, do you?”
“Not at all!” Steven happily handed her the tray of tiny cupcakes they had made earlier. “But only after I have another one,” he laughed as he took one for himself and scarfed it down in one bite.
“Uh, don’t you guys think that maybe you shouldn’t be eating so much sugar right before bed?” Dipper glanced up from the book he’d been reading, concerned.
“What? No way!” Mabel scoffed. “Cupcakes are the number one pre-bedtime snack. All the experts agree!”
“And by experts you mean… you, right?” Dipper asked, deadpan.
“Yep!”
“Then there’s pretty much no use trying to argue with that logic then,” Dipper concluded, rolling his eyes.
While Steven and Mabel continued to work on their friendship bracelets, Stan poked his head into the attic to offer the twins usual nighttime greeting. “Night, kids.”
“Night, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper and Mabel called back.
Steven warmly did the same. “Good night, Mr. Pines!”
“...Hold it,” Stan stopped short, opening the door just a bit wider to take the scene before him in. Including Mabel, Steven, and all of the craft supplies and snacks strewn all over the floor. “Alright, since when is there one more of you runts than usual?”
“Steven’s staying here tonight, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel cheerfully informed him. “We’re having a slumber party!”
“Oh yeah? Says who?” Stan asked. “Because none of you munchkins ever ran this little ‘slumber party’ plan by me first.”
“Oh, please let me stay for just one night, Mr. Pines!” Steven practically pleaded. “I didn’t get any sleep last night because Lion kept sleeping on me and I’m so tired and I need to keep up a healthy sleep schedule or else I won’t-”
“Yeesh, kid, slow it down a second,” Stan cut him off. “What’d ya say? That pink pest of yours keeps trying to use you as a pillow? Did I get that right?”
“Uh huh,” Steven nodded. “Which is why I need to get a night away. Please, Mr. Pines? I promise, you won’t even notice I’m here!”
“In case you haven’t noticed, kid, the Mystery Shack isn’t a hotel,” Stan scowled. “Though I guess it could be for one night, if you were willing to pay room and board.”
“I don’t have any money,” Steven pointed out, frowning.
“Well then, I guess you better head on home and get used to that big cat of yours laying on your face,” Stan said as he started to usher Steven out. “Now don’t let the door hit you on the way out, kid.”
“Aw…” Steven and Mabel sighed as their slumber party plans fell through. Or at least, they almost did until Dipper cut in just in the nick of time.
“Grunkle Stan, you’re seriously not about to force Steven to walk all the way up to the temple this late at night, are you?” he asked critically.
“What? It’s not that far of a walk. ‘Sides, a little tussle with a wolf or two never hurt anyone,” Stan shrugged, unconcerned. He was all but set in his decision, despite the disapproving looks the twins were sending him. His resolve ultimately crumbled, however, when he caught another glance over at Steven, who was offering him just about the most convincing, pathetic pout he could muster.
A pout that, unfortunately for Stan, even he couldn’t resist.
“Ugh, fine ,” he finally relented as he shoved Steven back into the room. “You can stay, but just for one night! And just for the record, I’m adding this onto your dad’s tab.”
“My dad owes you money, Mr. Pines?” Steven asked, confused.
“He does now,” Stan huffed. “Don’t be up all night you three. And keep the noise down! That goes double for you , Mabel.”
With that, Stan slammed the door shut, grumbling grumpily to himself all the way back downstairs. Back in the attic, Steven and Mabel could barely contain their delighted squeals over their saved slumber party. At least until Stan shouted up at them to put a swift stop to it.
“I said keep it down!”
Steven and Mabel managed to drop the volume just a bit, though that hardly dimmed their excitement in the slightest. “Oh, this is so great!” Mabel exclaimed, beaming. “What should we do next? Play Tangler? Give Waddles a makeover? Make a blanket fort?”
“Go to bed?” Dipper suggested much more rationally.
“Oh, but it’s still so early, Dipper!” Steven protested. “It’d be a waste to go to bed now. There’s still so much to do and so many tasty treats we can eat!”
“Uh yeah, about that? Like I said earlier, you might wanna lay off the sweets this late, Steven,” Dipper cautioned. “They can give you some pretty unhinged dreams. Just ask Mabel.”
“Oh yeah, I have crazy dreams aaaaall the time from eating candy before bed!” Mabel chuckled. “One time, I had this dream where I was on a roller coaster, but I was riding a whale down the track and my hair was made out of rainbows! It was so cool!”
“Whoa, I wanna have a dream that cool!” Steven gasped, amazed. “Hand me more of those cupcakes, Mabel! They’re gonna help me have the craziest, most awesome dream ever!”
“Yeah!” Mabel cheered, giving him the snacks. “We’re keeping this party going forever !”
“Oh boy…” Dipper sighed, already exhausted. Because unfortunately, if this was going to be a long night for the two of them, then it meant it was about to be a long night for him too.
“Hey, you know what? I feel wide awake now!” Steven proudly proclaimed. “I must have been so tired earlier that I just overcame it and now my body thinks it's daytime again! I’ve conquered sleep itself!”
“All hail Steven the Sleep Conqueror!” Mabel declared. “Nighttime and snooze buttons tremble in his presence!”
Dipper shook his head as he tried to calm them down–a largely impossible feat at this rate. “You guys, that’s not-”
“I couldn’t possibly go to sleep now!” Steven said, completely confident.
“Me neither!” Mabel zealously agreed. “Let’s stay up all night! Maybe even longer than that!”
“No,” Dipper tried to protest, but once again, he was outnumbered.
“Yeah!” Steven cheered. “All night! All night!” Mabel joined him, drowning out Dipper’s defeated sigh as he continued reading, trying his best to tune them both out. He only hoped he could do the same for the rest of the night, but as it soon turned out, he wouldn’t have to.
Ultimately, “all night” only ended up being about an hour. Steven was the first to clock out as his exhaustion caught up with him, and it wasn’t long before he was sprawled out on the floor, snoring soundly. Mabel wasn’t too far behind him as she flopped onto her bed, drifting off as Waddles gently licked cupcake frosting off her face. Dipper couldn’t help but grin, amused by the irony of it all as he clicked the lamp off and headed to bed last. And, soon enough, the attic was filled with nothing more than the moonlight pouring in through the window and the sound of soft, peaceful snoozing all through the night.
Or rather, through some of the night.
The bright sun was crisp and warm as it shone upon the tiny island where Steven sat across from Dogcopter, pondering over what his next move would be in their decisive game of checkers. After a moment or two, he proudly put his piece down in a maneuver that he knew would win for sure. Or so he thought. In the end, Dogcopter caught him by surprise as he set his chess down on Steven’s checker, securing a sudden victory.
“I win,” Dogcopter smoothly concluded.
“Oh what?” Steven asked, gawking down at the checkerboard. “That was a good move.”
“Thanks.”
“Dogcopter, how do you do it?” Steven questioned, amazed.
“How do I do what?” Dogcopter asked, cool and collected as ever.
“I mean, what’s your secret? How’d you get so talented?”
“Don’t focus so much on talent, Steven,” Dogcopter advised. “Making art is all about communication. Look to what inspires you and then reshape it into something you love even more.” He paused for a moment to eat his chess piece whole. “Don’t worry about trying to be broad or appeal to everyone. Just be true to yourself, and people will appreciate your honesty.”
“Whoa…” Steven said, utterly impressed. “Thanks for the advice.”
“Of course. Oh and take a deep breath,” Dogcopter said, suddenly flying away at an alarming speed.
“What?” Before Steven could even comprehend what was happening, the island beneath him abruptly crumbled to pieces. Still, Steven had the wits about him to take Dogcopter’s advice as he drew in a large breath just as everything faded to black.
When his vision cleared, Steven once again found himself surrounding by the very same pink grass that had featured in his dreams last night. “Here again…?” he wondered. He knew from experience he wouldn’t have any air here, so he held his breath as he peered a bit higher over the grass to get a better look.
Sure enough, the pastel pink grass seemed to stretch on for miles around him. The soft blades danced lightly against the warm, pleasant breeze somehow blowing through the peaceful sky, creating a calming atmosphere. Or at least it would have if that atmosphere had any air to speak of. “I don’t know what this place is but it feels… familiar…” Steven continued to muse inside his thoughts. “Why can’t I breathe? Wait a minute… Lion!”
With this, Steven began to struggle underneath Lion’s weight outside of his dream. The noise from his muffled cries was more than enough to wake Dipper and Mabel up, even though they’d slept straight through Lion sneaking into the attic to begin with.
“Ugh… what’s going on?” Mabel drowsily sat up. Her hair was a mess as she resisted the urge to flop back onto her pillow and drift off all over again.
“I don’t know…” Dipper mumbled just as tiredly. He quickly jolted wide awake, however, upon spotting the alarming sight in the middle of the room. “Wait, Lion?!”
“Ugh!” Steven shouted as he finally pushed Lion off of him. “Lion! My face is not your bed!”
“Steven, how did Lion get into the shack?” Dipper asked. He and Mabel hopped out of their beds, every bit as confused as Steven was by Lion’s unexpected appearance. “I thought you told him to stay back up at the temple.”
“Aw, looks like somebody was all lonely after not being invited to our slumber party,” Mabel chuckled. She reached out to scratch Lion’s chin, only to yank her hand back when he rejected her with a sharp, warning growl. “Whoa! Well excuse me, Mr. Night Owl.”
“Lion, that’s so not like you!” Steven scolded. “You love it when Mabel pets you! What’s going on with you lately?”
This question went unanswered as the attic door suddenly burst open. Stan charged into the room, baseball bat in hand, ready to attack any and all intruders. “Kids, somebody’s broken into the shack!” he shouted fiercely. “The front door was hanging wide open! I don’t know how they managed to get past me, but when I catch that lousy, no-account beginner, whoever they are, I’m gonna-” He cut himself off the second he spotted Lion sitting next to Steven, and just like that, his panic fizzled out into aggravation. “Oh. Well I guess this is my fault then. I should have figured this would happen if I let you stay here, kid.”
“I’m really, really, sorry, Mr. Pines!” Steven apologized. “I don’t know how Lion managed to get in here, but I can promise you he’s going home right now .”
“You’re darn right he is,” Stan scowled as he stormed over to Lion. “It’s bad enough I have to babysit you for one night, kid. I’m not running a zoo here with that thing too! Now come on, pinky. Beat it.” Lion simply turned his nose up at Stan, setting him off even more than he already was. “Oh yeah? That’s how you wanna be? Well two can play at this game.” Stan reached down to grab the pink pest by the ear, planning to drag him out of the shack himself. Instead, he only narrowly missed having his hand torn wide open as Lion suddenly lashed his claws out at him with a vicious snarl.
“Lion!” Steven gasped, appalled.
“O-on second thought,” Stan backed away from Lion, aptly afraid. “He can stay. Heck, I-I’ll even make him breakfast in the morning, yeah! Just as long as he keeps those claws of his far away from me.”
The kids exchanged a disappointed glance as Stan quickly retreated, lest he incur any more of Lion’s dangerous wrath. “Well, we can always count on Stan to be helpful in a pinch,” Dipper crossed his arms.
“I just don’t get it…” Steven frowned at Lion. “What’s wrong with you, Lion? You’re acting so weird. Weirder than usual, I mean.”
Lion only responded with a loud groan as he flopped onto his side and rolled over onto his back. He looked up at Steven almost pleadingly as he exposed his soft, pink stomach to him. “Oh my gosh,” Mabel whispered, stars in her eyes. “How can he be so cute ?!”
“Wait… you just wanted a belly rub?” Steven asked, confused.
“Oh come on,” Dipper shook his head. “He couldn’t have come all the way down here just so you could give him a belly rub. …Could he?”
Lion let out another soft roar, giving Steven more than enough of an answer. “You never let me touch your belly!” he exclaimed, delighted, as he rushed to rub his pet’s stomach. Mabel hurried over to join him, but before she could get close, Lion suddenly grabbed Steven with his front paws and pulled him close. Startled, Steven struggled to free himself from Lion’s surprisingly strong hold. “Ah! It’s a trap!” he cried. “An adorable trap!”
“Steven!” Both of the twins rushed to try and save Steven. They didn’t get far before Lion sent them a low, surly growl, as if he was warning them both to back off. After how unpredictably he’d been acting all night, neither of them needed to be told twice.
“What do we do? What do we do?!” Mabel asked, fretful. “We can’t let Lion smoother Steven with hugs! No matter how sweet it is!”
“Well we can’t let ourselves get mauled by an actual lion, Mabel!” Dipper protested.
“Guys!” Steven struggled to lift his head to catch a breath. “It’s ok! I-I’m… fine!”
“Really? Because it honestly doesn’t look like it,” Dipper shook his head, doubtful.
“N-no! I’m-” Steven cut himself off as he blew some of Lion’s fur out of his face. “Ok, Lion, you got me. Will you finally let me go now?” Despite his pleas, Lion remained resolute, refusing to release Steven for anything.
“Come on! Ugh!” As Steven tried to pull himself free from Lion’s grip once more, he retaliated by pushing him down once again. This time, he took it a step further by digging his claws into Steven’s back to make sure he’d stay put. “Ow!” Steven cried as he finally, forcefully yanked himself away.
“Whoa, Steven, are you ok?!” Mabel placed a steadying hand on his shoulder.
“Ugh, yeah I’m fine,” Steven sighed, rubbing his back. “But Lion’s not! That’s it! You’re on time out!” Refusing to let his pet get the better of him, Steven marched over to Lion and began pushing him out of the attic. Not that he got very far as Lion refused to budge even an inch. “Y-you’re going outside to think about what you’ve done!”
“Uh, Steven? I don’t think that’s working,” Dipper dryly pointed out.
“No, I-I just gotta—whoa!” Steven stumbled backward as Lion turned around on him. Fortunately, he didn’t try to shove Steven’s face into his mane this time, instead only giving him a surprisingly, strangely sad sort of look. His ears were flopped down, his eyes doleful and pleading as he purred of all things. A far cry from how beastly and brutish he’d been acting all night.
“He loves me!” Steven whispered with an enchanted gasp.
“And I love him!” Mabel added, just as enthralled. “He’s so adorable I could die !”
“Yeah, you could if you get anywhere near him,” Dipper scoffed. “Between taking a swipe at Stan and nearly suffocating Steven, I definitely don’t trust this whole ‘cute’ act of his and neither should either of you.”
“I know… But I just can’t stay mad at that face!” Steven threw his arms around Lion in a wide hug. “You’re a wonderful human being, Lion! Except you’re not. ‘Cause you’re a lion.” As Steven pressed his face into Lion’s mane, a soft pink light suddenly started to radiate from it. While he didn’t notice, the twins did, and needless to say, they had no idea what to make of such a sudden, magical shift.
“Whoa…” Mabel gasped, amazed.
“What the…?” Dipper frowned, bewildered.
No one was more confused than Steven himself, however, as he opened his eyes to find himself in the same pink grass from his dreams. And yet this time, he was awake–he knew he was awake. So how in the world had he gotten here?
With a sharp gasp, Steven pushed himself out of the grass–and out of Lion’s mane. He fell back onto the attic floor, his eyes every bit as wide as the twins’ were as they stared down at him, confounded.
“Steven, that was so cool,” Mabel whispered, dazzled.
“What was that?” Dipper asked, incredulous.
“I don’t-” Steven cut himself off as he looked at Lion once again. To his surprise, the place where his hand rested on Lion’s mane was still gently glowing. After exchanging a brief glance with the twins, Steven sucked in a deep breath and plunged his head inside Lion’s mane once more.
And, just like that, he was somehow back in the wide pink field from his dreams yet again. “I’m inside Lion’s mane?!” Steven thought, shocked. Then again, it all strangely added up. He’d only ever dreamed about this place when Lion slept on him, after all. But to know that it didn’t only exist, but it existed inside of his lion’s mane, of all places… it was almost too bizarre to believe.
Still, that hardly meant Steven’ didn’t believe it.
When he pulled himself out of Lion’s mane again, he didn’t give Dipper or Mabel any chance to ask him any of their pressing questions. Instead, he took in another deep breath and shoved his face back into Lion’s mane over and over again, if only to test it out. Each time, he was thrust back into the pink grassland, proving that the mane was indeed a portal. He couldn’t help but laugh as he pulled his head out again, only to meet Lion’s disapproving look while the twins stared at him in suspense.
“Sorry,” Steven gave them all an apologetic grin. “I couldn’t resist.”
“So what’s in there?” Mabel asked, overwhelmed with curiosity. “More of Lion’s super-soft fur?”
“No, actually,” Steven shook his head. “I don’t really know how to explain it but, like… there’s a huge field full of pink grass in there! Almost like it’s a whole other world, one that doesn’t really have any air in it, but it’s still so awesome!”
“What?” Dipper asked, puzzled. “Steven, that’s imp—Ok, you know what, maybe it’s not impossible after everything we’ve seen this summer, but still. How could an entire world fit inside Lion’s mane?”
“Who cares?” Mabel asked. “I wanna see it!” Taking in a deep breath, she shoved her face straight into Lion’s mane, only for it to remain as solid and fluffy as ever. “Aw, what gives, Lion?” she frowned, pulling away from him. “You’re really not gonna let me in to see your pink grass dimension?”
“Maybe I’m the only one allowed in there…” Steven proposed. Sure enough, he put his hand against Lion’s mane, which lit up the second his fingers so much as skimmed.
“Well then go in there and check it out!” Mabel urged. “And tell us everything about it! Who knows what kind of other wild pink stuff might be in there?!”
“Uh, that might not be such a good idea, Steven,” Dipper cautioned. “What if you get lost or run out of air or something?”
“Aw, Lion won’t let that happen,” Steven reassured. “After all, he did all this just so I could find that place. There’s gotta be something in there I’m meant to see, right?”
“Oh! What if there’s another, smaller version of Lion inside Lion’s mane?!” Mabel theorized zealously. “And another Lion inside that Lion’s mane! You know, like those cute little dolls that go inside each other.”
“Well, I guess there’s only one way to find out,” Steven said, resolved. “I’m going in.” Without any further ado, Steven fully leapt right into Lion’s glowing mane, leaving a fascinated Mabel and a perplexed Dipper behind.
“Good luck, Steven!” Mabel called out after him. “Oh, and if you really do get lost in there, I call dibs on your Crying Breakfast Friends special edition box set!”
“Mabel…” Dipper scolded, rolling his eyes.
Steven didn’t hear either of them as he popped back up amongst the pink grass. He kept his breath tightly held as he took a curious look around. “Am I… supposed to do something in here?” Steven pondered. After all, Lion wouldn’t have been so insistent on showing him all of this for nothing, right?
He soon got his answer as he spotted something peeking over the grass in the distance. He moved closer to it, until he was finally able to make out the silhouette of a tree standing tall against the pale pastel sky. Fortunately, it didn’t take him long to reach the base of the hill it was resting on, the only break in the grassy expanse in sight.
As for the tree, it towered over the field, with long branches lush with perfectly pink leaves. Even more intriguing, however, were all of the various items resting around the tree. Steven didn’t get much of a chance to get a look at any of it however. Instead, he had no choice but to dive back into the grass, desperate to get a gasp of the air his lungs were begging him for.
The twins gasped, surprised, when Steven’s head abruptly popped out of Lion’s mane. They let him catch his breath, only for a moment, before bombarding him with all of their curious questions.
“So, what’s it like in there?” Mabel pressed. “Did you find anything cool or magical or anything that looked like a tiny Lion?”
“Or was it just a huge empty expanse of literally nothing?” Dipper asked, skeptical.
“No, there’s something in there!” Steven exclaimed. “It was a tree!”
“A tree?” both twins asked, confused.
“Yeah, and there was all sorts of stuff lying all around it.”
“What kind of ‘stuff’?” Dipper asked, raising an eyebrow.
Steven paused, unsure of how to describe any of what he’d very briefly seen. “Hold on a second,” he said instead. And then, he took another breath and another plunge back into the world that awaited within Lion’s mane.
Fortunately, he re-emerged at the exact same place he’d been at the foot of the hill. Pushing himself through the last of the grass, Steven scaled the hill, stopping just shy of its base to take in the peculiar collection surrounding it.
Standing at the far side of the tree’s base, a tattered pink flag gently waved against the breeze. Hovering over one of the branches nearby was a bubbled gemstone, squarish, colorful, and secure. Steven even spotted the same pink sword he and his friends had pulled out of Lion’s mane the other week, digging into the ground near the base of the tree. He didn’t really remember putting it back, so he figured Lion must have reclaimed it, landing it back in its proper place here,
Even more surprising yet, however, was what was hanging from another one of the tree’s branches. He recognized the black t-shirt as one of his father’s, back from Greg’s touring days, with a “Mr. Universe” logo brightly branded on the front. A large chest sat against the tree, with a photograph of both of his parents carefully propped up against it. By now, Steven’s curiosity was beyond peaked, especially when he stopped short upon finding aVHS tape sitting on the ground near his feet. He picked it up, briefly looking it over before finding a label on the side, which simply read: “For Steven.”
“For me?” Steven wondered, frowning down at the tape. “Who would put this here? And how does this huge place fit inside of Lion’s mane anyw-” His thoughts stopped short when he quickly realized he was running out of air again. He panicked, turning to run down the hill, tightly clinging onto the tape all the while, until his foot caught on the edge of a small rock. Within seconds, he was on the ground, tumbling down the hill until he crashed back down into the grass below.
While Steven was exploring Lion’s mane, the twins stood by outside, anxiously awaiting his return as seconds started to turn into minutes. “Uh… do you think he’s ok in there?” Dipper asked, concerned.
“I’m sure he is,” Mabel shrugged. “It’s he, Lion?” She sent the pink cat a fond smile, only to be swiftly shoved away by a simple push of his paw. “Aw, love pats!” Mabel laughed as he kept her lightly pinned to the ground.
“Mabel, I don’t think that’s-” Dipper stopped short when Steven suddenly fell out of Lion’s mane, gasping harshly as he landed on the attic floor.
“Steven!” the twins exclaimed, equally surprised.
“Are you ok?” Dipper asked, offering a hand to help him up.
“Um… yeah, I think so,” Steven said, still a bit breathless.
“What’s that?” Mabel nodded to the tape in his hands. “Oh! Is it a movie?”
“I… don’t really know,” Steven frowned down at the tape. “I just sorta found it in there, and it says it's for me, so I just… took it.”
“But why would there be a video tape inside of Lion’s-” Dipper cut himself off in the middle of his question, ultimately letting out a tired, defeated sigh. “You know what? I feel like that’s definitely not the right question to be asking right now.”
“You’re right! The right question to ask is: can we see what’s on it?” Mabel asked, offering Steven an eager grin.
Steven shrugged as he glanced over to Lion. For the first time all night, he finally settled down. As sure a sign as any that he’d managed to lead Steven to whatever it was he wanted him to find. “I don’t see why not.”
The kids hurried downstairs as quietly as they could in the early hours of the morning, hoping not to wake Stan and annoy him any more than they already had. Lion and Waddles followed after them, curling up together for a nap in the corner of the den as the kids got comfy around the TV in preparation of their mystery viewing.
“Hey, dorks,” Wendy greeted as she arrived for her early morning shift at the gift shop. As tired as she was, she offered the kids a warm smile, only broken by a brief, groggy yawn. “You guys are up awfully early. What, did you have a crazy slumber party and stay up all night?”
“Uh, yeah, actually,” Dipper admitted, shrugging.
“Steven found a video tape inside of Lion’s mane, so now we’re gonna watch it!” Mabel explained, grinning.
“A tape, huh?” Wendy chuckled as she slung her jacket over her shoulder. “Mind if I join you guys then? Anything’s better than having to open up the gift shop this early.”
“Sure, Wendy. Let’s just start it up here and…” Steven slid the tape into the VHS player, pushing play. He took his spot on the empty recliner, with the twins and Wendy settling in not too far away as static filled the screen.
A familiar image soon took its place: a wide shot of the woods near the temple. The bright sun shined through the trees, as birdsong filled the air, coming together to create a peaceful scene. The video cut to focus on the sky next, filming the fluffy clouds lazily floating through the cheery blue atmosphere.
More nature shots followed, from blades of grass waving in the breeze, to leaves hanging calmly from their branches. Things got a bit more intriguing when the Gem temple came into clearer view, however. The camera tilted down to where the house should have been, showing nothing but the warp pad and the temple gate, exposed to the open world around it.
Once again, the tape cut back to the woods, only this time, it panned over to a much younger version of Greg. His hair was still full and long as he attempted to climb a nearby tree, only to end up clumsily landing back onto the ground. Somewhere off screen, a soft voice let out a gentle chuckle, amused by his antics. “What are you doing?”
Steven took in a small gasp at the sound of that voice. He’d never heard it before, but he didn’t need to to know exactly who it belonged to. Inside Lion’s mane, this tape had been sitting right next to a photo of his parents. And if Greg himself was in this tape, then it only made sense that the one filming it was none other than… his mother.
Rose Quartz.
The tape continued to show Greg, fast asleep as he lay in the middle of a clearing as a squirrel sat on top of his stomach. Rose chuckled fondly at the sight, dropping her voice down to a whisper as she said, “Greg made a friend.”
The moment was suddenly broken when the squirrel loudly chattered, abruptly startling Greg awake. “Wha–?!” he darted upright, scaring the squirrel off in the process. Rose laughed again, catching Greg’s attention as he blushed, flustered.
Greg remained the focus of the next shot, standing against the forest as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Go on…” Rose gently encouraged.
“Sorry, I’m getting stage fright here,” Greg admitted, glancing away.
“Tell us about yourself.”
“Well… let’s see here,” Greg began thoughtfully. “My name is… Greg. No, no no!” he suddenly panicked. “This is all wrong!”
Once again, the tape cut, this time to a bird nesting high in a tree. “Ok, go!” At this, Rose tilted the camera back down to Greg. With a pair of sunglasses perched on his face and his guitar in hand, he seemed ready to put on some sort of performance. “They call me…” Greg trailed off, dramatically strumming his guitar. “Mr. Universe! Get ready, baby! You’re gonna have the coolest dad this side of the cosmos!” Greg smirked as he played his guitar once more, singing along to his light riff. “Press the button, Rose!”
“Oh, right!” Rose exclaimed, hitting a button that caused a colorful stream to wash over the screen. “Was that the right one?”
“Uh… maybe?” Greg shrugged.
“Now, what does this one do?” Rose wondered. She pressed another button, sending a star iris to take over the screen, cutting to black.
When the screen cleared, Greg was sitting in the middle of the clearing, his back turned to the camera as he peacefully played his guitar. After a moment of this gentle, calming melody, Rose began to speak, not to Greg, but to someone else entirely.
“Isn’t it remarkable, Steven? This world is full of so many possibilities. Each living thing has an entirely unique experience. The sights they see, the sounds they hear, the lives they live… are so complicated… a-and so simple…”
Steven leaned forward, tears already welling up in his eyes as a smile slowly spread across his face. To hear a message from his mother, a message meant for him … it was something he never thought he’d get, as much as he might have wished for it. But now, here he was, listening to every warm and loving word his mother had to offer him. Listening to everything he’d always longed to hear.
“And there’s no place on this planet where that’s more clear to see than right here, in Gravity Falls,” Rose went on, panning the camera around to the trees. She gradually turned the camera in a full circle as she spoke, letting her shot land on the Mystery Shack down below for a moment or two. “There are things here that I’ve never seen anywhere else, things I could have never even imagined before we came here. So many strange, yet wonderful creatures and people… I can’t wait for you to join them. This place is so special to me, Steven. I hope that it’ll become just as special to you too someday…”
Rose paused, turning the camera away from the shack and over to herself instead. Her pink curls spilled over her shoulders, her eyes as bright as she spoke with both affection and intention. “Steven. We can’t both exist. I’m going to become half of you. And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you. Because you’re going to be something extraordinary.” She pulled the camera a bit closer to her, a soft, adoring smile crossing her features as she said–
“You’re going to be a human being.”
“Hey, Rose!” Greg called from somewhere off-screen. Still, Rose looked to the camera one last time to offer her son one final, hopeful message.
“Take care of them, Steven.”
The shot shifted one final time as Rose set the camera down. She headed over to join Greg, revealing her pregnant stomach, which he gently skimmed a hand against. The battery meter on the side of the screen was blinking low as the couple leaned in for a kiss–
And just like that, it was over.
Static crackled on the screen for another moment or two before it cut to black and the tape popped out of the player. In the silence that followed, not a single eye was dry in the den after everything they’d just heard. Still, Stan had no idea what he was about to walk into as he barged into the den, a steaming cup of coffee in hand.
“Alright, kids, quit loungin’ around in here watching cartoons or whatever,” he grumbled as he wiped the sleep out of his eyes. “It’s time to open-” Stan cut himself off as the group around the TV all turned to face him, tears in each of their eyes. Unsure of what to say, Stan slowly backed out of the room, startled as Dipper suddenly got up and ran past him to hurry upstairs without another word. Mabel wasn’t too far behind him, leaving Stan to do little but call after them, completely confused. “What the heck did you kids watch?”
When he didn’t get an answer, he ultimately gave up, shrugging as he took a sip of his coffee and stepped back into the kitchen. Meanwhile, Steven couldn’t help but smile as he pulled the tape out of the VHS, hugging it close. His face was still wet with tears as he looked at the label on the side of it, his name likely written there by Rose herself. True, he may never get to meet her; but at least he had this. At least he had her final message for him, filled with hope for his future, hope for his happiness, hope in him .
At least he knew how much she’d loved him, far before he was even born. And for Steven, that was more than enough.
“Steven, wait up,” Wendy stopped him before he could head out. She finished wiping away her own tears, still wearing a smile as she stepped over to him and rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Um… well, uh… You know, if y-you ever need to talk to someone about the whole… ‘no mom’ thing… you can always talk to me. I know how that feels, after all.”
“Thanks, Wendy,” Steven said with a grateful smile. “You know, it’s… kind of weird. I never met her, but… I feel like I finally know her after watching that. But, it was only a few minutes, so… that’s silly, isn’t it?”
“Nah, man,” Wendy chuckled. “It’s really sweet. It’s just… Wow,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I can’t stop thinking about that whole thing she said, about how you both couldn’t exist at the same time? She knew what was going to happen to her, but she still chose you anyway. She really loved you, Steven.”
“...Yeah,” Steven muttered. “I guess she did…” The way his heart both soared and ached at the thought practically rattled him to his core. Indeed, his mother had loved him so much, to the point of giving her own existence up entirely.
To do that, to sacrifice that much, all for him… maybe she’d loved him too much.
“I wish I could have had the chance to meet her,” Wendy continued, grinning. “She seemed like she was pretty cool.”
“Same here…” Steven solemnly agreed. “By the way… I’m sorry again about your mom, Wendy. I bet she was really nice, like my mom was.”
“She was…” Wendy said with a wistful sigh. “But like I said, it's ok, dude. We actually have a bunch of tapes of her at home just like your mom’s. Ok, well, maybe not just like hers’ but still. We have something to remember her by.”
“Yeah…” Steven’s smile slowly returned as he looked down at the tape in his hands. “Something to remember her by…”
“Anyway, I better get to work before Stan has an aneurism,” Wendy joked as she headed for the gift shop. “See you later, Steven.”
“Bye!” Steven called after her. By now, the sun was up, which meant it was time for him to get ready for the day too. He stopped just short of the door, however, when Lion gently bumped his head against his back.
Steven turned back to him, his smile turning a touch brighter as he gave his pink pet a tight hug. “Thanks, Lion,” he whispered warmly. A happy sigh escaped him as he looked down to the tape one last time, his mother’s words of wisdom still echoing inside his mind.
“Take care of them, Steven…”
Steven leaned his head against Lion’s chest as he closed his eyes, clinging onto the image of his mother’s kind, smiling face. For him, that image would only ever exist in photos and tapes, but maybe that was all he really needed. Because now he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that his mother was always with him, wherever he went.
“Don’t worry,” Steven promised her softly and sincerely. After everything she’d given up for him, it was only fair that he return the favor. It was only fair that he did his best to live up to everything she wanted him to be. “I will.”
Mabel already anticipated the state she’d find her brother in when she arrived in the attic–she wasn’t too far from it herself, after all. Sure enough, Dipper sat on his bed, his knees curled to his chest as he scowled down at the family photo they’d brought from home. Neither of them had bothered looking at it all summer–the last thing they needed was a reminder of just how bad things had been before they left. But there was no avoiding it now, not after what they’d just watched, not after the unstoppable tide of conflicting emotions that came along with it.
“Dipper…” Mabel started as she hurried over to him. She didn’t get a chance to say much more before he spoke up, his voice low, bitter, angry .
“It’s not normal; you know that, right?” he asked, shifting his still-teary gaze up to his sister. “The way Mom treats us? The way she’s always on my case about every little thing? The way she hardly ever pays any attention to you ? The way nothing either of us do is ever good enough for her? It’s not right. It’s not fair!”
“O-oh, come on, bro-bro,” Mabel forced a smile as she rested a hand on his shoulder. “Nobody’s mom is perfect. Ours is just… you know, she’s just sort of-”
“Can you please stop making excuses for her, Mabel? Just this once?” Dipper coldly pulled his shoulder away. “You saw that tape too. You saw how Rose talked to Steven, how she smiled at him, how she told him she loved him? Mom’s never done any of that for either of us…”
“No. Mom does love us,” Mabel firmly insisted. “I know it. She just… has a hard time showing it.”
“Sure,” Dipper scoffed as he threw the photo back down onto the bed, shoving it away from him. “Just like Dad has a ‘hard time’ standing up to her. Or how they both have a ‘hard time’ even trying to get along with each other.”
Mabel shook her head, desperate to come up with some way to turn this around. To convince herself that what her brother was saying wasn’t true, even when she knew it was. “They’re just… going through a rough patch right now, just like Dad said. That’s why we’re here, so they can spend the summer… you know, bonding and team building or whatever married people are supposed to do.”
“I don’t care what they’re doing,” Dipper said, finally wiping his tears away. “I’m just glad we finally get to have a break from both of them. Which is why…” He trailed off, sighing as he reached a decision. One he’d been toiling over for far too long now. “Mabel, I don’t think we should tell Mom or Dad about what we’ve been doing up here.”
“Huh?” Mabel asked, confused. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, we can’t tell them about how weird Gravity Falls is,” Dipper explained, resolute. “We can’t tell them about any of the monsters or magical creatures we’ve run into, and we really can’t tell them about the Gems.”
“Whaaaat? But why not?!” Mabel protested, aghast. “All of that stuff is so cool and amazing, and we’re having so much fun–why wouldn’t we want Mom and Dad to know about all of that?”
“I don’t mind Dad knowing as much as I’m worried about Mom knowing,” Dipper clarified. He paused for a moment, anxiously glancing around, as if their mother was somehow standing in some unseen corner, listening to every word he said. A ridiculous thought, he knew that; but after all of the eggshells he was used to walking on back home, he couldn’t quite break the old habit that easily.
“You know how she can be,” he finally continued. “Heck, Dad even told us it took weeks for him to convince her to let him come up here at all. If she found out we were messing around with monsters and magic and aliens, if she knew we were risking our lives every other day, if she knew we were actually having any sort of fun for the first time in our lives? She’d be up here in a heartbeat to put a stop to it all.”
“You… you really think she’d come up here?” Mabel asked, suddenly worried. “That she’d take us home?”
“I know she would,” Dipper sternly insisted. “She threatened to do it on the phone the other day. The fact that she’s let us stay here this long is a miracle. We can’t give her any sort of reason to change her mind.”
“...I… I don’t want to go home…” Mabel softly, sadly admitted. “Not now, not yet.”
“Neither do I,” Dipper agreed just as solemnly. “So… you know what we need to do, right?”
Mabel hesitated at the sight of the hand her brother was extending for her to shake. At the vow of silence he was asking her to share with him… a vow that could very well save them both.
It didn’t take her very long to take that hand and shake it. And to use it to pull her brother off his bed and into a tight, much-needed embrace.
Both twins fell apart almost at the exact same moment. Mabel’s sob came first, but Dipper’s was shortly behind it as they slowly collapsed to the floor together, tightly hugging all the while. In the back of both of their minds, Rose’s tape for Steven echoed, full of unconditional kindness and care. Filled with all of the things their own mother had never bothered showing them.
Filled with so many things they still found themselves endlessly, hopelessly craving all the same.
They’d tried so hard to forget about it all, to distance themselves from the troubles haunting them back home. Up here, hundreds of miles away, surrounded by new friends and new adventures around every corner, it was all so easy . Easy to smile, easy to laugh, easy to be themselves, easy to breathe . And in much of the same way, it was easy to forget just how truly fragile it all really was.
Which was why Dipper and Mabel both knew–all of the secrets they found here had to stay secrets. It was the only way to keep the fun going, to salvage the friendships they’d forged, to save their summer.
To stay here in Gravity Falls, a place that felt like home far more than their real home ever could.
Notes:
Next time, Stan and Amethyst are out for good, old-fashioned revenge... ;)
Chapter 19: Revenge Trip
Summary:
After being on the receiving end of Gideon's sabotage, Stan and Amethyst team up to get some much-needed revenge.
Notes:
Back at it with a chapter from old UF I honestly really love. That's why you won't really notice a whole lot changed about it, I mean it is an entirely original chapter in the old fic, so why shake it up too much since its already good (aka if it ain't broke don't fix it). Even so, let's hit the road and get some revenge!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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“Well, ladies and gentlemen, we’ve just about reached the end of our tour,” Stan told his latest crowd of tourists. He grinned when he heard a loud round of disappointed sighs from his enthralled guests; as sure a sign as any that he had them right where he wanted them. “I know, I know. It’s a shame such a good time has to end. But… just because you folks have been such a great audience, I’ll let you all get a glimpse at one last exhibit. What do ya say?”
The crowd didn’t hesitate to show their loud, excited support. Stan obliged as he led them over to a covered cage. “Well, if you say so…” he began. “Other boring old ‘museums’ might claim to have authentic dinosaur bones , but what if I told you we have real, live dinosaurs right here at the Mystery Shack?”
“Ooo,” the crowd crooned, leaning closer in fascination.
“Well, get those cameras–and your money–ready, folks,” Stan grabbed the curtain before dramatically throwing back. “And behold! 100% genuine, real-life dinos!”
As confident as Stan was in his latest attraction’s appeal, his audience’s reaction proved to be the exact opposite of what he was expecting. Angry boos echoed from the crowd, and it didn’t take long for Stan to figure out why. The wiring at the back of the cage had been cut completely through, leaving a massive, gaping hole. And through that hole, every last one of his “dinosaurs” had made a clean getaway into the woods.
“What?!” he asked, aghast. His alarm only grew as the crowd continued complaining behind him.
“I can’t believe this!”
“What a rip off!”
“I want my money back!”
“Wait! No!” Stan cried after the tourists, trying his best to calm them. Even so, there was little he could do to stop them from leaving unsatisfied–and without paying the additional fee for what should have been a standout exhibit. “Kids!”
With how harsh this call was, it didn’t take long for Dipper and Mabel to come running out of the shack to respond to it. “Grunkle Stan, what’s wrong?” Mabel asked, concerned. Her alarm only grew when they both noticed the hole in the back of the cage in front of them. “Oh my gosh! The dinosaurs are gone!”
“Mabel, for the last time, they aren’t dinosaurs,” Dipper dryly pointed out. “They’re just regular lizards Grunkle Stan dressed up in tiny t-rex costumes.”
“I know that!” Mabel protested. “And they were soooo cute too! I was gonna come up with silly little names for them and everything! What could have happened?”
“That’s what I wanna know,” Stan scowled. “There’s no way those little freaks could have busted out. I had Soos rig this cage up to be completely lizard-proof. Which means somebody cut that hole in it on purpose. And no one around here is resting until I found out who!”
“Yo, Stan!”
The twins were surprised when Amethyst suddenly joined them, dropping in from above. Stan, however, was in no mood for her antics.
“Not now, Amethyst,” he sullenly brushed her off. “We’re kind of in the middle of a crisis here!”
“Oh what, you mean your missing ‘dinosaur’ crisis?” she asked. “Well then, you might wanna take a look at this. Found it on the way down here.” She handed him a small piece of paper, which he read aloud to the kids.
“Dear Stanford, hope ‘ya’ll’ don’t mind me fixing your cage for you. I thought your newest attraction could use some extra roaming space. But look on the bright side. With those little critters gone, all your customers are bound to come on down to my Tent of Telepathy instead! Warmest regards: Lil Gideon.”
“You guys wanna see something funny?” Amethyst whispered to the twins. Her mischievous smile only widened as she watched Stan’s face turn red as he crumpled the note in his fist. “Wait for it… In three… two… one-”
“GIDEON!” Stan shouted, furious. “That four foot, pig-nosed, pompadour-pedaling little creep! It took me ages to sneak those lizards out of the pet store without anybody noticing! And now I’ll never find ‘em!”
“Aw, don’t be so blue, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel encouraged. “Those little guys have gotta still be around here somewhere! I’m sure we can find them!”
“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Dipper shrugged, much less enthusiastic. “Unless they’ve already been eaten by an owl or a mountain lion or something, which is… probably pretty likely.”
“I appreciate the thought, kids, but it’s no use,” Stan shook his head, sighing. “Gideon probably cut through the cage while we were all sleeping. I knew I should have had Soos stand guard out here all night!”
“Geez, Stan, don’t be such a sadsack about it,” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “Look at it this way. Sure, Gideon’s a clever little punk who ruined your new attraction and has a way flashier setup than yours. But you still have something that he doesn’t.”
“Oh yeah, what’s that?”
“Oh… you wanted me to give you an answer to that? ‘Cause I thought you would have one.”
“Not helping, Amethyst,” Stan grumbled. He stopped short, however, his frustration turning to surprise when he stole a glance up at the temple. “Uh, by the way… have you seen your place lately?”
“Huh?” Amethyst turned to find a truly shocking sigh. She hadn’t noticed it when she’d left earlier, but now, there was no missing it. The entire surface of the temple’s statue was coated in a layer of pale, powder blue paint, complete with a layer of sparkling glitter on top. Still, as dumbfounding as it was to everyone else, Mabel still managed to be dazzled by it all the same.
“Oh my gosh! The temple looks so pretty in blue!” she exclaimed, grinning. “When did you guys paint it?”
“We didn’t,” Amethyst shook her head. “Besides, even if we did ever paint it, we wouldn’t-”
“AMETHYST!”
“Oh boy…” Amethyst winced at the sound of Pearl’s angry shout echoing from up the hill. “I better run on up there before Pearl gets a crack in her gem. See you guys around. And hey, who knows? Maybe your missing lizards will turn up somewhere. You know, if they haven’t been eaten or anything.”
“Yeah, I sure hope they do,” Stan said. He barely paid Amethyst any mind as she leapt off to return to the temple; he had far more pressing concerns than whatever was going on with the Gems this time. “‘Cause if they don’t, I’ve gotta find another pet store to rob, all because that skunk Gideon has to stick his dumb nose where it doesn’t belong…”
Amethyst heaved a heavy sigh as soon as she caught sight of Pearl, Garnet, and Steven as they gathered outside of the temple. Her teammates were anywhere from confused to annoyed by the statue’s sudden paint job, both sentiments Amethyst could relate to as she caught up with them.
“There you are, Amethyst!” Pearl huffed impatiently. “Care to explain this little disaster?”
“Uh, the temple’s blue, dude,” Amethyst shrugged. “Anyone with eyes could see that. Duh.”
“No, that’s not-” Pearl cut herself off with a frustrated groan. “What I meant was, what in the world possessed you to do something as ridiculous as painting the entire temple?!”
“Wait… you guys think I did this?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time you did something like this,” Garnet said, crossing her arms.
“Yeah…” Steven agreed, rubbing his arm. “There was that time you filled the entire house with golf balls… Or that April Fool’s Day when you washed all my clothes and shrunk them in the dryer on purpose…”
“Or the time you emptied a box of cicadas into my room,” Pearl listed, scowling.
“Or the time you broke the microwave trying to stuff it full of pinecones,” Garnet added.
“Or-”
“Ok, I get it!” Amethyst cut in. “Sometimes I get a little carried away with my pranks, alright? I know that. But do you guys really think I would waste so much time painting the temple just to get a quick laugh out of it?”
“Yes,” Garnet, Pearl, and Steven all answered in perfect unison.
“Amethyst,” Garnet began, her tone firm. “We understand that you enjoy getting a rise out of others. But sometimes, you take things too far. And this is definitely one of those times.”
“But I didn’t do it!” Amethyst argued. “I’m serious! Steven, you believe me, right?!”
Steven flinched, purposefully glancing away. “Uh… well…”
“Oh come on!” Amethyst protested. “I swear, I didn’t do this!”
“Well if you didn’t do it, then who did ?” Pearl asked.
“Uh… I don’t…” Amethyst bit her lip. Just when it seemed as though she was out of ideas and out of time, however, she stole a glance down at the Mystery Shack, remembering something important in the process. “It was Gideon!”
“Gideon?” Steven asked, confused. “But he hasn't been all that bad since the whole thing with the size crystal and the Watermelon Stevens a few weeks ago. What makes you think he did this?”
“‘Cause he just punked Stan too!” Amethyst pointed out. “Gideon let Stan’s new attraction loose, and he even left a note behind saying he did it! Heck, if you guys need proof, then I can even have Stan vouch for me!”
“Oh, because Stan is definitely a reliable source,” Pearl rolled her eyes.
“So what, are you saying that little punk wouldn’t do something like this?” Amethyst pressed. “I mean, the kid’s made it pretty clear that he hates us. Messing with our temple like this would be just up his dumb little alley. Plus, the temple’s painted like, the exact same shade of blue as his dorky suit is.”
“We’re not saying he couldn’t have,” Garnet said. “But there’s just no real proof.”
“So basically… what you’re saying is that I’m getting the blame for this?!”
“For now, yes,” Garnet nodded.
“Which means,” Pearl added. “You’re the one responsible for cleaning this little ‘mess’ up too.”
“Aw, what?!” Amethyst exclaimed, dismayed. “You guys can’t be for real right now! You want me to clean the entire temple?! That’ll take hours !”
“Well then, that leaves you with plenty of time to contemplate the consequences of your actions while you work,” Pearl remarked. “And maybe next time, you’ll think twice about doing something so… destructive and defiant!”
“I told you, I didn’t-” Amethyst ultimately cut herself off. After all, it wasn’t like anything she had to say mattered anyway–it hardly ever did. “You know what? Who cares? I’ll clean the stupid temple. Even though I shouldn’t have to.”
“Taking responsibility for your actions is an important lesson to learn, Amethyst,” Garnet said as she and Pearl started to head inside. “You’ll thank us for this later.”
“I bet I won’t,” Amethyst muttered crossly.
“Aw, I’m sorry, Amethyst,” Steven frowned. “To be honest, I think you… probably didn’t do this? But I guess there really is no way to know for sure.”
“Pfft, come on, Steven,” Amethyst huffed. “That little freak Gideon did this, I’m sure of it. If only I could make Garnet and Pearl see that. Or better yet, get back at that scummy runt for it…” She paused, only for a moment, as a sudden, perfect idea struck her. “That’s it!”
“What’s it?” Steven asked, curious.
Amethyst drew in a sharp breath, catching herself and coming up with something just in time.. “Oh uh… nothin’. I… I just thought of a way to… clean the temple up really fast! Yeah.”
“Oh… well, do you want some help?” Steven offered with a smile. “Because between the two of us, I’m sure we could get it done a lot faster!”
“Nah, Steven, I got this,” Amethyst waved him off. A sly smile found its way onto her face as she turned her attention back down to the Mystery Shack. To where her old partner in crime awaited. “ We got this…”
Stan let out a long, tired sigh as he cracked open another can of Pitt Cola. Without his pack of makeshift dinos, what was supposed to be a profitable day had turned into a total disaster. There’d been no sign of any of the lizards anywhere near the shack, aside from one of their discarded costumes lying in shreds on the forest floor. And without the draw of his new attraction, Stan ended up making far less for the day than he’d been hoping for. A brutal blow for someone who loved money as much as Stan did.
“Ugh…” Stan groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Stupid Gideon…. Always ruining everything…”
“Tell me about it.”
Stan glanced up to find Amethyst perched in the open kitchen window. A scowl hung on her face as she stretched out, her entire body coated in flecks of blue paint and glitter.
“What are you doing down here so late?” Stan asked her. “And what happened to you? You look like one of Mabel’s arts and crafts projects.”
Amethyst blew her hair out of her face as she jumped down and headed over to take a seat at the table across from Stan. “I just spent the past seven hours scrubbing paint off the temple because Garnet and Pearl think I made the place all blue and sparkly.” She took one of Stan’s several empty soda cans, swallowing it whole. “Of course, I didn’t do it. But you wanna know who I think did?”
“Let me take a wild guess…”
“ Gideon ,” they both answered, equally sullen.
“Ugh, that pint sized psychic is a real pain in the neck,” Stan said. “Who does he think he is, anyway? Messing with us like we’re just gonna lie down and take it. Somebody really oughta teach that kid a lesson.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking…” Amethyst said with a growing grin.
“Hm, you almost sound like you’ve got a plan or something in mind,” Stan asked, eying her curiously.
“Hey, I can come up with those too,” Amethyst said, her smile widened. “‘Sides, it’s nothing too crazy. Just a lil’ something you and I like to call a… Revenge Trip ?”
The second Stan heard this, any interest he might have had fell to pieces. “No.”
“What? Come on!” Amethyst urged. “It’s been years since we’ve done one! Don’t tell me you haven’t been itching for a wild night of righting wrongs, taking names, and getting even! You ‘n me used to be revenge masters, remember?!”
“Yeah that’s just it, we used to be,” Stan pointed out. “We haven’t pulled a Revenge Trip in over fourteen years. And back when we used to do ‘em every week, something almost always went wrong. I already told you, I’m done with those.”
“Since when did you get so lame ?” Amethyst pouted. “So what if we got busted a few times? It’s like you always used to say: ‘no pain, no gain’. And we gained a lot back in our revenge days. You can’t deny that.”
“Heh, yeah we did,” Stan agreed, almost smiling. He quickly chased it away, however, when he caught the coy, knowing smirk Amethyst was sending his way. “B-but we can’t go on another Revenge Trip. Not now. Things around here… they aren’t like they used to be.”
“Oh yeah? How?”
“Uh… well… I… I got the twins to worry about now. What if something happened, huh? Who’d take care of ‘em?”
“They don’t live here all the time, do they?” Amethyst let out a laugh as she threw her voice to playfully mimic him. “‘Oh, look at me! I’m Stan and I’ve turned into such a huge softie all ‘cause I took in two kids for the summer’. Chill out, dude,” she said in her usual voice. “Dipper and Mabel would be fine. They’d just get sent home or whatever. No biggie."
“Sure, ‘no biggie’,” Stan scoffed. Because unlike Amethyst, he knew exactly what the twins getting sent home would mean–both for them, and for him. “By the way, don’t you have one of your own you should be worrying about?”
“What, you mean Steven?” Amethyst asked, glancing away. “He’d be fine if something happened to me. Heck, he’d probably be better off with just Garnet and Pearl taking care of him anyway.”
Stan’s expression finally softened when he heard this, when he noticed the crestfallen look filling Amethyst’s face. “Hey, uh… you know the kids told me about your little trip to the Kindergarten the other day. Is… is that what this is really all about?”
“What? No!” Amethyst adamantly denied. “This has nothing to do with the Kindergarten! This isn’t about ‘blowing off steam’ or anything stupid like that! No, you know what this is really about, just as much as I do. It’s about revenge!”
“Wouldn’t be a Revenge Trip if it was about anything else,” Stan conceded, grinning.
“And it won’t be a Revenge Trip if I try to roll solo,” Amethyst pressed. “Come on, Stan. I know you wanna go do this, as much as you might act like you don’t. The look on Gideon’s face will be priceless once we get even with him! It’ll totally be worth it.”
“It won’t be if we get caught.”
“Then we just won’t get caught,” Amethyst said, as if it were the easiest thing in the world. “Don’t tell me that you miss the thrill of going out on the road, the excitement of sneaking in and out of places, the sweet reward of sticking it to the man! You used to be all about that kind of stuff before you got all old and boring.”
“Hey, hey, hey! Who said anything about me being old and boring?” Stan protested.
“You did, by saying you don’t wanna go,” Amethyst smirked, crossing her arms. “Never would have pegged you to be such a scaredy cat, Stan. Especially given your track record. But I guess it was bound to happen eventually. You just can’t keep up with me anymore.”
“Oh yeah? Well, I think you’re wrong!” Stan slammed his first down on the table. “I could keep up with you just as easily now as I used to back when!”
“Then prove it!” Amethyst goaded as she leapt onto the table.
“Fine! Then I will!”
“So you’re in?”
Stan hesitated when Amethyst extended her hand out to him. It was a risky endeavor, perhaps the riskiest they’d ever considered undertaking. And yet… he couldn’t deny the practically contagious spark of burgeoning excitement Amethyst was sharing with him through her eager smile alone. He couldn’t deny it any more than he could deny just how he’d never been able to turn any of Amethyst’s dares down before. This one was no exception.
“I’m in,” he finally agreed, giving her hand a solid shake to seal the deal.
“YEAH!” Amethyst cheered, jumping up and down on the table, beyond exhilarated for the night ahead of them. “Stan and Amethyst are BACK in business, baby! Revenge Trip, here we come!”
Back in their Revenge Trip heyday, Stan and Amethyst had never left any stone unturned. Tonight’s endeavor wasn’t going to be any different. They took time to plot out their three-fold scheme to get back at Gideon, one that was bound to be more than enough to put him in his place. From there, gathering the necessary supplies was as easy as it was essential. After all, there was no room for error on a Revenge Trip; they’d learned that the hard way far too many times in the past.
“Ok, so Greg agreed to foot the bail this time in case things do go wrong,” Stan said as he hung the phone up. “Apparently, he expects me to ‘pay him back’ this time or somethin’. I dunno.”
“I don’t even know why you bothered to ask him anyway. I already told you, nothing’s gonna go wrong,” Amethyst scoffed. She’d just finished laying out their supplies on the table, everything from hammers and screwdrivers to a fire extinguisher and a set of crowbars. There was no telling exactly what they’d need from this haul, but it was always better to go in prepared than the alternative.
“Still, we’re better safe than sorry,” Stan crossed his arms as he looked over their tools.
“Geez, Stan, since when did you start caring so much about the fuzz?” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “Weren’t you the guy who crashed his car into the side of the jail just to break me out?
“You bet I was,” Stan couldn’t help but chuckle fondly at the memory. “And then the next time around, you shapeshifted into a bulldozer and broke me out.”
“Hey, you know I always come through,” Amethyst grinned proudly. “Still… we’ve had some pretty wild Revenge Trips. You can’t imagine how hyped I am to finally be going on another one after all these years!”
“Yeah, well save that hype for the road,” Stan advised. “Cause the last thing I wanna do is wake the-”
“Grunkle Stan?”
The pair froze when they turned to the threshold of the kitchen, where a sleepy, confused Dipper and Mabel stood watching them. “Uh… heeeeey, you guys,” Amethyst offered them a forced grin. “What’s up?”
“I feel like we should be asking you guys that question instead,” Dipper said, yawning. “What are you doing with all that stuff?”
“Are you guys gonna go rob a bank?” Mabel asked curiously. “And if so, can we come! I’ve always wanted to be an accomplice in a high-stakes bank robbery, just like in the movies!”
“Yeesh, kid, we ain’t robbing any banks tonight,” Stan countered. “We’re just going to take care of a little… personal business.”
“At 11 o’clock at night?” Dipper asked, glancing over at the clock.
Stan and Amethyst exchanged an uneasy glance, but only a brief one. If there was anyone skilled at playing something like this off, at finding a way to dodge suspicion, it was them. “Yeah, maybe,” Stan bluntly replied. “What’s it to you, kid? I’m a grown adult and Amethyst is a… grown magical rock person. Which means we’re allowed to be out as late as we want and do whatever we want while we’re out.”
“Oooo, you guys are gonna do something super mischievous , aren’t you?” Mabel asked, thoroughly intrigued.
“We don’t know,” Amethyst shrugged. “It depends.”
“Depends on what?” Dipper asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Depends on a whole lot of none of your business,” Stan crossly concluded. “Now why don’t you two just run on back to bed and pretend like this was all just a weird dream, k?”
“Yeah, and don’t go telling Pearl or Garnet about any of this,” Amethyst added firmly. “It’ll be our little secret, got it?”
The twins looked at each other, bewildered. Still, it was clear they weren’t getting any further answers, and by all accounts, they were both far too tired to challenge that as much as they might’ve otherwise. “Fine,” Dipper relented. “We’ll go and leave you guys to whatever most-likely illegal thing you plan on doing.”
“Good luck with it!” Mabel exclaimed brightly as she followed her brother out. “And have fun!”
“Oh, we will…” Amethyst flashed a broad, devious smirk Stan’s way.
“Yikes, that was a close one,” he heaved a sigh of relief. “I thought those twerps were never gonna leave.”
“Well, at least you managed to drive them off,” Amethyst said. “Guess you are still as smooth as you used to be. Still, it doesn’t prove that you can still handle a crazy, high-stakes, fast-paced night on the run.”
“Well then I guess there’s only one way to find out,” Stan smirked as he spun his car keys on his finger. “Let’s roll.”
Amethyst could hardly contain her excitement as she hopped into the passenger’s seat of Stan’s car. “What are we waiting for?” she impatiently asked as Stan turned the key in the ignition. “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s GO! We’re burning moonlight!”
“Geez, hold your horses!” Stan laughed as he pulled the car into motion. “The Revenge Trip hasn’t even started yet.”
“I know, but I can’t help it! I’m just so pumped! Tonight is gonna be legendary !”
“Sure, just as long as we don’t get caught.”
“Come on,” Amethyst grinned. “I already told you. Nobody’s catchin’ us. We’re way smarter than like, anyone in this lame old town. That’s why they call us the Kings of Revenge!”
“Oh yeah? Who calls us that?” Stan asked, raising an eyebrow.
Amethyst paused for a moment, though she just as quickly perked back up when she said. “I do!”
The pair shared a laugh, one that eventually evened out into a pleasant sort of silence as they drove down the dark, narrow road. With only the dim moonlight lighting their way through the trees, the path ahead seemed strangely peaceful, comforting almost. It was a feeling neither Stan or Amethyst had known in quite some time, not since the last time they hit the road together years ago.
“Heh, I kinda forgot how nice this feels,” Stan smirked as he sped freely down the empty highway. “Nothin’ but the open road and revenge schemes… It just sorta takes ya back to the good ol’ days, you know?”
“Yeah, I do,” Amethyst readily agreed. “Oh man, remember that one time we got revenge on ol’ Dewey for that zoning ordinance he put on the shack?”
“Of course!” Stan chuckled. “People around here still talk about how his dumb van was blaring ‘Mayor Screwy’ for a whole week! What a classic! Still, nothing compares to the time we pushed Toby Determined’s car into the lake for that stupid article he published about you Gems.”
“Hey, it served him right,” Amethyst crossed her arms. “Dude should have known better than to try and get all up in our personal biz. But yeah, that was one of the best ones…” She sighed happily as she propped her arm against the car door and looked out the window. “Hey, Stan?” she spoke up after another beat of silence. “You still remember the night we met?”
Stan let out a small laugh, shaking his head fondly. “Please. How could I forget that mess?”
22 Years Ago…
“Good night, ladies and gentlemen! Thanks for visiting the Murder Hut! And remember: we put the ‘fun’ in ‘no refunds’!”
Stan’s broad, showman’s smile slipped away the moment he saw the last tourists of the day off. He shut the door behind them, letting out an exhausted sigh as he leaned against it. “Sheesh, I thought they’d never leave…”
Now that they were gone, though, he didn’t intend to waste any time. After grabbing a quick bite to eat out of the fridge, he could easily head down and get right to work on what was really important.
Or at least he would have if not for the sudden crash that rang out from right outside.
Though he would never admit it, Stan was almost always on guard these days, and with good reason. That’s why he kept a baseball bat on hand under the gift shop counter, which he didn’t hesitate to grab as he slowly crept toward the door. He creaked it open, sneaking out into the early evening just as quietly as he quickly scoped out the surrounding lawn. While he didn’t see anything, he heard the same clatter again, clearly coming from the trash cans on the far side of the shack.
At first, Stan suspected it was probably just a racoon rooting through his trash. He was willing to let it be, at least until the can suddenly toppled over. Garbage came tumbling out of it, spilling onto the ground, but that wasn’t all. A small, oddly purple figure landed along it, their face covered in dirt and their short, scruffy hair littered with scraps of trash. Stan couldn’t help but stare at the… person? Child? Animal?--in disbelief as she grinned over at the pile of discarded cans sitting a short distance away from her.
“Hey, buddy,” she looked up at Stan. “Mind kicking one of those cans over here? Those babies aren’t gonna eat themselves.”
“Uh… sure?” Stan shrugged, kicking the empty can near his foot over to her.
“Thanks, old guy!” she exclaimed, happily tossing the can into her mouth and swallowing it whole. Stan could only watch, dumbfounded, before he caught himself to question this strange little tresspasser.
“Hold it!” he scowled down at her, still gripping his bat. Just in case.“Who the heck do you think you are and why were you rummaging through my trash? You know I could call the cops on you for this sorta thing. If I wasn’t going to just fine you for it myself instead.”
“Whoa, wait a sec,” she hopped to her feet. “Your trash? You mean you live here?”
“Uh… yeah,” Stan replied. “Why? You got a problem with that, kid?”
“Kid?” she chuckled. “I’m waaaaay older than you, old guy. But still, this is crazy! Rose always says nobody lives down here, but what do ya know?! And here I was, thinking Music Man was coming down here and squatting all the time, but no! It was you! …Whoever you are.”
“Wait, wait, wait, did you just mention… Rose?!” Stan asked, suddenly alarmed.
“Uh yeah,” she nodded. “Why? Do you know her? Because everybody knows Rose. Especially me, and Garnet, and Pearl! Oh, and Music Man too, I guess.”
“So that means… you must be one of those Crystal Crones who live up in that statue on the hill!” Stan exclaimed hotly.
“Sure am!” she proudly proclaimed. “Though we’re actually called the Crystal Gems . But I get it. You humans aren’t always the best at pronouncing junk. At least that’s what Pearl is always saying.”
“Beat it, kid!” Stan snapped, pointing up to the temple. “Your kind isn’t welcome around here!”
“Aw, what?” she asked, dismayed. “But we just became friends!”
“Friends?!” Stan scoffed. “Please. I wouldn’t be friends with any of you ‘Gems’ if my life depended on it! I don’t want anything to do with any of ya! Now go and scamper back up to your giant eight-armed statue before I have you run in for trespassing!”
She stared up at him, blankly confused for a moment or two before she simply shrugged and turned to leave. “K, fine. Whatever you say, old guy.”
Stan watched sullenly as she began to make her way back up to her temple home. He only allowed himself a sigh of relief as she disappeared into the woods, leaving him to return to the quiet solitude he needed for the night ahead.
Except…
As soon as he shut the door behind him, something suddenly landed squarely on his shoulders. He let out a frightened yelp when a pair of hands covered his eyes, all but blinding him in the process. “What the–?!”
A frustratingly familiar voice rang out in a loud, rambunctious laugh. His uninvited guest stayed steady on his shoulders as she watched him stumble around in the dark. “Ha! Gotcha! Guess you weren’t ready for a sneak attack, old guy!”
It didn’t take long for Stan to catch his bearings and throw her off his back, glaring fiercely down at her as she landed on the floor, still howling with laughter all the while. “Well, that was fun!” she said, smirking. “Don’t ya think?”
“No!” Stan shouted, infuriated. “Get the heck outta my house!”
“Oh come on,” she pouted up at him. “You don’t really want me to go, do ya? If your beef really is with us Gems, then don’t worry! I’m not like Garnet, or Pearl, or even Rose, I promise! ‘Cause unlike them, wherever I go, I bring the party!”
“I don’t care! I don’t want a party or company or anything else! All I want is for you to leave and never ever come back here! Got it?”
“Naaaah…” she flopped down onto the floor. “I think I’m just gonna hang around here for a while.” With another laugh, she threw her arms up towards the ceiling. Stan stumbled back, shocked when her arms abruptly, unnaturally lengthened so she could wrap them around the support beam high above them. She pulled herself up, allowing the rest of her body to casually hang as if it were a hammock. “Get it? Hang around? Ha!”
“H-how did you…?” Stan began to ask before shaking his head. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you’re outta here, purple. Or else.”
“Or else what?”
“O-or… or I’ll-”
“Ha! I knew you didn’t have anything!” she chuckled, dropping down from the ceiling. “You humans are so funny when you try to act all tough like that!” Once again, she shapeshifted, this time into Stan himself as she mimicked his gruff tone. “‘Oh, you better get on outta here, purple. Or else I’ll… I’ll uh… do nothing!’” By now, she’d worked herself into a fit of laughter as she shapeshifted back, hardly paying Stan’s growing anger any mind at all.
“Yeesh, you Gems are even more annoying than I thought…” Stan grumbled, thoroughly irritated.
“So, you got a name, old guy?” she asked curiously.
“Yeah, I got a name for ya,” Stan scowled. “It’s amscray before I call the cops.”
“Huh, kind of a weird name, but whatever,” she shrugged. “K, Amscray-Before-I-Call-The-Cops, I’m Amethyst. Nice to meet ya!”
“Pleasure’s all mine,” Stan deadpanned, rolling his eyes.
“So, what do you wanna do now?” Amethyst asked, eagerly grinning. “Eat some more cans? ‘Cause you got plenty of cans out there and I don’t wanna hog ‘em all to myself if you want any. That’d just be rude.”
Stan’s scowl shifted into a sly smirk as a sudden idea came to him. “Actually, yeah, let’s do that. Why don’t you head on out there and grab the rest of them up for us?”
“Sure thing, Amscray-Before-I-Call-The-Cops!” Amethyst hopped to her feet and headed for the door. “Oh man, we’re gonna have such a great time! I-” She was cut off when Stan suddenly slammed the door right in her face, swiftly locking her out. “Hey!” she exclaimed, beating on the door. “Amscray!”
“Yeah, that’s right!” Stan called with a satisfied smirk as he walked away from the door. “Just amscray back up to your little statue and your ‘perfect’ Rose. And stay the heck outta my hair! Goodbye, good riddance!” He heaved an exasperated sigh as he headed back to the gift shop. “And if I never see another Gem again, it’ll be too soon.”
Amethyst raised an eyebrow when she noticed Stan veering off into the suburbs, of all places. “Uh… Stan? Where are we going?”
“What?” Stan glanced over at her. “You said so yourself. For our plan to work, we’re gonna need a good backdrop. And there’s only one artist I trust with getting us that backdrop.”
“Wait…” A wide grin spread across Amethyst’s face when she realized what he was implying. “You don’t mean…”
“That’s right,” Stan nodded, smirking. “We’re heading to V’s place.”
Amethyst cheered as they pulled up to a familiar house. She rushed for the door, eagerly knocking on it as Stan followed not too far behind. “Oh man, V’s gonna be so surprised to see us! Well… at least me.”
“Hey, me and V always got along just fine,” Stan said, defensive.
“Yeah, but were you ever her muse?”
Before Stan could respond, the door swung open, revealing the smock-clad, shotgun-toting woman behind it. “Who’s there?!” she shouted fiercely. “It’s almost midnight! You can’t just-” She stopped dead in her tracks, her jaw and her gun dropping as she noticed the familiar pair standing on her doorstep. “Whoa, hold it… Amethyst?! Stan?!”
“Vidalia!” Amethyst happily exclaimed as she hugged her old friend.
“I can’t believe it!” Vidalia laughed as she returned the embrace. “It’s been years since I’ve seen you guys.”
“Tell us about it,” Stan chuckled.
“Man, you’ve changed!” Amethyst smirked as she sized Vidalia up. “You look terrible!”
“You look the same…” Vidalia grinned just as playfully. “Terrible! And Stan, well, I don’t even think I need to touch on how you look.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Stan rolled his eyes. “Good to see your personality hasn’t changed even if your looks have, V. You’re still just as bratty as I remember you being.”
“Hey, that’s what I was known for back in the day,” Vidalia shrugged. “Come on in, you two. Just keep it down. The kids are trying to sleep.”
“Whoa, kids?” Amethyst asked, bewildered as they stepped inside. “What the heck happened? I thought you only had one! What, did you and ol’ Farty Marty hook up again?”
“Please. I don’t know where that fool is! And I don’t care either,” Vidalia smiled. “It’s just been me and Yellowtail for a while now.”
“Whaaaat? Yellowtail?” Amethyst gaped.
“How’d you manage to land that catch ?” Stan joked. “Get it?! C-cause Yellowtail’s a-” He cut himself off when he noticed neither Amethyst nor Vidalia were laughing. “You know what, never mind.”
“Same old Stan, same old awful jokes,” Vidalia shook her head, grinning. “But yeah, things just kinda happened. Next thing you know, I’m living with a fisherman and I have another little troublemaker on my hands. And here he is now.” Her smile grew as Onion ran into the room and jumped into her arms. “You’re supposed to be in bed, mister.” As usual, Onion didn’t respond, even as his mother took the pair of scissors he was wielding away from him.
“Heh, we get it,” Amethyst elbowed Stan in the knee. “Kids, am I right?”
“Whoa, I didn’t know you, of all people, finally decided to settle down, Stan!” Vidalia exclaimed. “How’d you end up turning into such a silver fox?”
“Please,” Stan scoffed, crossing his arms. “They’re not my kids. I just took in my great niece and nephew for the summer. And honestly, the little scamps are more trouble than they’re worth. Most of the time.”
“Aw, looks like somebody’s finally gone soft in his old age.” Vidalia sat Onion down, allowing him to run back upstairs.
“That’s what I was saying!” Amethyst exclaimed. “V, can you believe that this old loser nearly chickened out on going on a Revenge Trip with me tonight?!”
“Yeah, well I didn’t!” Stan protested. “I’m here now, ain’t I?”
“Only ‘cause I dared you to.”
“Oh, so that’s what you guys are up to, huh?” Vidalia asked. “I kinda figured that this wasn’t just a personal visit. So what are you two in the market for tonight? Disguises? Life-sized doubles?”
“Just a painting, actually,” Amethyst shrugged.
“A painting? Of what?”
“The Tent of Telepathy,” Stan said. “You know, that chump Lil’ Gideon’s place on the other end of town? We’re gonna need a huge backdrop of it, as big and as real-looking as you can make it.”
“Oh yeah?” Vidalia put her hands on her hips. “You guys are going after Gideon Gleeful? Sounds like kind of a risky move, especially since you two have been out of the game for so long. You really sure you’re up to this?”
“You know we are, girl!” Amethyst pumped her fist. “We already got everything all laid out, we just gotta go do it! And we need one of your ‘masterpieces’ to help us, V!”
Vidalia let out a long sigh, shaking her head as she looked between the pair. “You two are never gonna learn, are you? But fine. I’ll do your Tent of Telepathy painting. When do you need it by?”
“By the end of the night,” Stan said, resolved. “If not sooner.”
“What?!” Vidalia asked, alarmed. “Stan, it’s gonna be a ten foot canvas! I’ll be up all night if I-”
“V, come on,” Stan urged with a charming smile. “You’re the best artist in town. If you can’t pull this off, nobody can. Besides, it wouldn’t be the first time you performed a miracle for us. So… what do ya say?”
Vidalia gave him a skeptical look, one that ultimately petered out as soon as she caught Amethyst’s pleading pout. “Flattery will get you nowhere, old man,” she deadpanned, grinning. “But just for you guys, I’ll have it ready by sun up. If you don’t end up getting arrested first, that is.”
“Alright, V!” Amethyst cheered.
“Thanks, V,” Stan said, fully sincere. “I knew we could count on you.”
“Who else would you count on?” Vidalia chuckled as she led them out. “I’m the only person who won’t rat you clowns out. Now get on out there and get your revenge. And have some fun for me, will ya? After all, I am gonna be stuck in here painting all night…”
“Will do!” Amethyst saluted as she and Stan got back in the car. “See ya, V!”
“Later!” Vidalia waved them off as they drove away. “And good luck!” She laughed to herself as she shut the door before heading for her workshop to begin the task ahead of her. “Hard to believe that after all these years, the dynamic duo is finally back again… Who could have guessed?”
Stan grumbled tiredly to himself as he downed his fifth cup of coffee in a row. He usually stayed up most nights working anyway, but what he wasn’t used to was someone beating on his doors and windows into the early hours of the morning, trying their best to get back in. He had no idea why Amethyst didn’t just give up and go home, but she was painfully persistent about wanting to “hang out” with him for some reason.
Right before he went out to chase her off with the hose, however, she suddenly stopped just past sunrise, strangely leaving without another word. Not that Stan minded much; at least it left him to open the Murder Hut up for the day in some semblance of peace.
“Hey, Mr. Pines!” Greg greeted as he came in for his shift. Stan only offered him an exhausted groan as he slumped against the counter, clinging onto his coffee mug like a vice. “Uh… Are you ok?” Greg asked, concerned.
“Yeah…” Stan mumbled. “Just had a long night last night…”
“Oh… Well, uh… then maybe now’s not a good time…”
“Not a good time for what?” Stan asked, sitting up a bit.
“Well… There’s someone who… kinda begged to come down here with me this morning…” Greg rubbed the back of his neck as he turned to the still-open door “Um… You can come on in now!”
Stan bolted upright the second he saw Amethyst walk in with a guilty look written all over her face. “YOU!” he shouted furiously. “You little punk! I barely got any sleep around here last night with you bangin’ on stuff all night long!”
“I know… And I’m sorry, Amscray,” Amethyst pouted sincerely.
“Amscray?” Greg looked to Stan, confused.
“Ugh, stupid kid,” he scowled. “My name’s not Amscray.”
“But you said-”
“I know what I said!” Stan snapped. “Listen, couldn’t you just-” He cut himself off with a frustrated sigh before turning to his employee. “Greg, could ya give us a minute here? This won’t take long.”
“Oh, um… sure, Mr. Pines,” Greg looked between the pair, uncertain for a beat, before he stepped outside. A long, stated silence followed, until Stan finally broke it with another irritated sigh.
“I just don’t get you, kid. What’s your deal with me anyway? Why couldn’t you just run back up to the statue last night when I first told you to?”
“I dunno…” Amethyst admitted, rubbing her arm. “I guess… I was just so excited to meet you! I don’t know too many humans aside from Music Man out there, and he’s already super tight with Rose, so… you were like, a totally new face to me! I just thought you were kinda cool.”
Stan raised an eyebrow, genuinely surprised to hear this.“Well… don’t you have Rose and those other two bozos to hang out with? Why don’t you just pester them instead?”
“Rose, Garnet, and Pearl are gone,” Amethyst informed, frowning. “They went on a mission yesterday and… they just… didn’t bother to tell me about it I guess.”
“Oh, well boo-hoo,” Stan deadpanned, unsympathetic. “I bet it's just soooo rough for you, not being able to punch monsters with all of your buddies.”
“It’s not rough,” Amethyst shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time they left me behind. They’re always doin’ it. Probably ‘cause they don’t want me messing stuff up or whatever.”
Stan knew he shouldn’t ask. He knew he shouldn’t. But what she’d just said… well, it hit far too close to home than he’d ever like to admit. “Uh… what do you mean?”
“Eh… It’s just… I’m not as skilled or strong as the other Gems…” Amethyst sighed, crossing her arms. “Garnet’s really powerful, Pearl’s super smart, and Rose… Rose can do anything . And me? I’m just the dumb ol’ rock that follows them around.”
“Oh geez…” Stan muttered before he could stop himself. “I know how that feels…”
“You do?” Amethyst asked, intrigued.
“Course, I do. When I was a kid, everyone used to always compare me to-” Stan quickly cut himself off before he could let too much slip. “E-everybody else. And when it came right down to it… Well, let’s just say I was never at the top of anyone’s list.”
“Hey, same here!” Amethyst let out a small, halfhearted chuckle. “That’s sorta why I like shapeshifting so much. Why do I have to be a nobody…” She smirked as she transformed into Greg, Garnet, and Rose, all in seamless succession. “When I could be anybody ?”
Stan couldn’t help but laugh. And this time, he didn’t try to play it off. “You know, as freaky as that whole shapeshifting thing is, it’s pretty impressive. You ever thought about goin’ on the road with that, kid?”
“Meh, it’s no big deal,” Amethyst shrugged as she turned back into herself. “But this place you have going on here? It looks awesome!” With an excited grin, she looked around the gift shop, taking in all of the odd sights on display. “What is all this cool junk anyway?”
“What, you’ve never heard of the Murder Hut before?”
“Murder Hut?” Amethyst stuck her tongue out. “Ugh, that name’s terrible ! Who would wanna come to a place with murder in its name aside from crazy people? You should really think about changing it. An old mysterious shack like this deserves to be called something just as mysterious!”
“Mysterious shack, huh…?” Stan mused thoughtfully. “Then how about… the Mystery Shack? What do ya think about that?”
“Oh, man, yeah!” Amethyst eagerly agreed. “That’s way better!”
“You think so?”
“Yeah I do!”
“Yeah, well I-” Stan cut himself off. He forced the smile straight off his face as he stole another glance at the gemstone resting on Amethyst’s chest. As sure a reminder of any as to why this conversation shouldn’t– couldn’t continue. “Pfft, well, it’s not like I care about what someone like you thinks. I mean, I don’t even know you, much less like ya, kid.”
Amethyst rolled her eyes, grinning. “You know what I think? I think that’s a lie, old guy. I think you do like me. At least a little.”
“No I don’t!” Stan sternly protested. “I don’t like any of you Gems! I thought I made that pretty clear last night.”
“Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, old guy.”
“Will ya stop calling me old guy, kid?”
“Only if you stop calling me kid,” Amethyst coyly agreed. “But if I can’t call you old guy and I can’t call you Amscray… then what can I call you?”
Stan sighed in spite of himself. He knew he should have kicked Amethyst out the minute she walked in and yet… the playful smile on her face, the mischievous glint in her eye, the way she’d been left behind, forgotten, ignored… it all rang so familiar.
It all reminded him so much of himself that he found he just couldn’t just turn her away. Not when he’d been turned away far too many times to count.
Stan,” he finally answered. And this time, he didn’t bother to hide the smile he found himself sharing with his new, strange, unlikely friend. “You can call me Stan.”
“Well, we’re here,” Stan announced as they pulled up to the woods surrounding the Tent of Telepathy.
“Yeah! Here comes the revenge !” Amethyst bounced up and down in her seat. “We’re gonna roast that little punk! I can’t wait to see the look on his face tomorrow when he-”
“Hold it, Amethyst,” Stan stopped her before she could jump out of the car. “We can’t just go out there and do this as if it were any old Revenge Trip. If V was right about one thing, it’s that this is a high stakes job.”
“Heh, I get it! Stakes!” Amethyst laughed. “Cause we’re gonna take the stakes outta the tent! Good one!”
“I mean it,” Stan insisted. “Gideon may be a chubby little shyster, but he’s a chubby little shyster with a whole lot of clout around here. Which means if we’re not careful, then he could have the entire town turn on us in a heartbeat.”
“Pfft, like I care about what any of those squares think,” Amethyst scoffed. “But fine. If you’re so scared of getting busted, then I’ll cool my jets for you. But only ‘cause I don’t wanna get yelled at by Garnet or Pearl if we do end up getting caught.”
“Good,” Stan grabbed his gloves and hammer from the back seat. “Then let’s hit it.”
Amethyst nodded, holding up her can of spray paint as they got out of the car. Under the cover of night, they crept toward the tent, keeping a close eye out for any sort of security patrolling. Fortunately, the tent was unguarded, leaving them with plenty of space to get to work.
Stan hurried around the tent first, pulling out each of the pegs holding it down. Meanwhile, Amethyst stood at the back of the tent, taking in the empty “canvas” before her. Her paint can was poised and ready to go and yet…
“Well, I got all the pegs,” Stan joined her, holding up a full bag of stakes. “All it’ll take is one good gust of wind and this whole place will come toppling down. What’s the holdup back here?”
“I can’t think of anything to write!” Amethyst groaned. “I mean, normally I’m super clever and witty when it comes to insults, but I’m so pumped up on Revenge Trip adrenaline right now. I’m drawing a blank!”
“Geez, do I still have to do all the heavy lifting on Revenge Trips even fourteen years later?” Stan smirked, reaching for the spray paint. “Gimme that thing. I’ll show you what a good tag looks like.”
Amethyst watched, curious, as Stan quickly and confidently graffitied on the side of the tent. His message was simple, but impactful, and Amethyst couldn’t help but break down laughing the second he was done. “Oh my gosh, that’s hilarious ! That stupid kid will never be able to live this one down!”
“Hey, I told you,” Stan tossed the spray paint back to her. “I haven’t lost my touch just yet.”
“Man, I’m sorry for ever doubting you!” Amethyst chuckled as she followed Stan back towards the car. “I guess this means you’re not boring. Just old.”
“Yeah, well we’re not done yet,” Stan pointed out. “We still gotta-”
He froze when he accidentally bumped into one of the abandoned cars parked near the tent by mistake. Without warning, the car alarm started blaring through the otherwise quiet night air. Stan and Amethyst exchanged a wide-eyed glance as all of the lights in the nearby houses switched on, hoping that it wasn’t already too late for them to slip away unseen.
“Uh, that’s our cue hightail it the heck outta here!” Stan exclaimed, dashing for the car. Amethyst ultimately beat him to it, but he paid her little mind as he tried to start the car, only for it to stall out at just about the worst time possible. “Oh come on!”
“What’s wrong?” Amethyst asked, glancing out the back window. People had already started emerging from their houses as the car alarm continued obnoxiously beeping. If they didn’t hurry, they’d be found out for sure.
“Ugh, the stupid thing won’t-” Stan cut himself off as he threw his fist down on the dash of the car. Somehow, that was exactly what it needed to roar to life once more. “There we go!”
“Well, come on! Let’s hurry before someone sees us!” Amethyst anxiously urged.
“Hey, you don’t have to tell me twice!” Stan pulled the car into reverse before speeding back onto the road. Amethyst was thrown back in her seat when floored it, burning rubber as he drove away from the scene as fast as his car would go.
“WHOO!” Amethyst screamed, exhilarated as she stuck her head out the window. “Yeah, baby! Pedal to the metal!”
“You think that’s fast?” Stan asked with a challenging grin. “Then you ain’t seen what this baby can really do!” His smile widened as he shifted gears, causing the car to rocket even faster than ever.
“Aw, yeah!” Amethyst yelled as her long hair blew wildly behind her. “This is the best!” She beamed as she sat back in her seat, reclining her legs up on the dash. “This is totally just how it used to be back in our old Revenge Trip days, and I love it! Doesn’t it just make you feel alive ?”
“Heck yeah it does!” Stan boldly agreed. “I don’t even know why I was worried before! Like anybody’s ever gonna catch us this time! Even without Revenge Trips, we’ve still broken in and out of plenty of other tight spots over the years. This’ll be a piece of cake!”
“You’re darn right it will be!” Amethyst exclaimed. “I mean, we’re already one third of the way done! The night’s still young and the rest of this Revenge Trip is in the bag! Ain’t nobody gonna stop this party! And why’s that?”
Stan laughed as he caught the eager, expectant look Amethyst was giving him. Which was why gave her exactly the answer he knew she wanted to hear. “Because this party’s going all night!”
They were more than ready to keep it going all night too. They rode the high of their first success as the second phase of their scheme got underway. They made several stops all across town, basically anywhere where any sort of advertisement for the Tent of Telepathy could be found. From billboards, posters, bus ads, and everything in between, nothing was safe from Stan and Amethyst. Each one was coated in graffiti in entirely unique ways, each more creative than the last and all meant to humiliate Gideon in any way possible.
Defacing the ads was easy enough, to the point that they only had one close call in the middle of it. Still, they cleanly dodged the patrolling cop car thanks to Stan’s quick thinking and Amethyst’s shapeshifting. The same dynamic combination that got them out of trouble more times than they could count back in their old Revenge Trip days.
From there, the rest of their work was even more of a breeze. They took to side roads out of town, speeding down them purely for the thrill of it all. Between their laughter, they reminisced on Revenge Trips gone by, on daring escapades and countless close-calls. And with a moon in the sky and righteous vengeance on their minds, for a moment, it felt as though nothing had changed. For a moment, it felt as though they’d never stopped doing this at all.
For a moment, they both felt as young, wild, and free as they had on their first Revenge Trip over twenty years ago.
“Yo, Stan!” Amethyst burst into the gift shop before claiming her usual perch on the counter. Her visits to the newly-dubbed Mystery Shack weren’t uncommon, and while Stan complained at first, by now he’d gotten used to them. After all, Amethyst certainly wasn’t the worst company to have around, not that he’d ever actually admit that out loud.
“Amethyst,” Stan greeted her dryly. He didn’t look up from the newspaper he was reading, unable to chase his bitter scowl as he kept on reading.
“Whoa, what’s with the long face?” Amethyst asked. “What, was someone a penny short on buying a bobble head?”
“Pfft, I wish,” Stan scoffed as he set his paper down. “Have you seen this? Some chump “travel destination reviewer” or whatever he calls himself came by here the other day, disguised as a regular old tourist. And then, after I kicked the creep out for asking too many stupid questions, he goes and writes this crummy review about the shack in the town paper!”
“Oh yeah? What’s it say?”
“Nothing but a bunch of complaints about how this place is ‘run down’ and my business practices are ‘shady’,” Stan crumpled the paper up and tossed the paper away. “What a load of bullshit. I ya ask me, weasels like that deserve to be dropped off a very high cliff.”
“Dang, this fool sounds like a real jerk,” Amethyst said, crossing her arms. “What’s his deal anyway? This place is totally cool!”
“Exactly!” Stan agreed. “That’s why I’m gonna put that reviewer in his place tonight with a little good old fashioned revenge.”
“Ooo, revenge?” Amethyst asked, intrigued. “Sounds neat! Whatcha you gonna do?”
“Eh, nothin’ too fancy. I was just gonna go find his house and then let a bunch of rabid squirrels loose inside of it while he’s sleeping.”
Amethyst nearly fell off the counter laughing when she heard this plan. “Dude, that’s hilarious ! You gotta let me come with you and watch! Or better yet, help you round up all those squirrels!”
“Oh, no,” Stan shook his head. “No way. I work alone, kid. Especially on petty heists like this.”
“Aw, come on…” Amethyst pleaded. “I won’t get in the way! I promise! Besides, I need to see some action! Everything’s been so boring lately…”
“What, you mean you haven’t been out tossing that whip of yours at creeps with your buddies recently?”
“Haven’t been any creeps to toss it at,” Amethyst shrugged. “And when there are, the others usually just take care of it without me. As usual.”
“Hpmh, what else is new with those three?” Stan huffed. “Still, kid, you can’t come with me tonight. Mostly ‘cause I just don’t think you can keep up with an old pro like me.”
“Pfft, I know I can!” Amethyst daringly exclaimed. “I’m a magical Gem warrior! I can handle anything that any ol’ loser might throw at us!”
“That’s a pretty bold claim…” Stan mused with a growing smirk. “You really think you can back it up?”
“Duh!”
“Fine,” Stan shrugged. “Then I’ll give you a shot. But if you start dragging me down for even a second, then I’ll drop you just like I’m gonna drop those squirrels in that critic’s house.”
“Deal!” Amethyst took his outstretched hand and firmly shook it. “Aw, man, this Revenge Trip is gonna be great!”
“Revenge Trip?” Stan raised an eyebrow, confused. “What the heck is a Revenge Trip?”
“It’s what we’re gonna do tonight!” Amethyst brightly explained. “Ya know, since we’re going on a trip to get some revenge. So it’s a Revenge Trip!”
“Geez, that’s corny,” Stan sneered. “You may have been right about renaming this place to the Mystery Shack, but you might wanna think twice about that whole ‘Revenge Trip’ thing.”
“Eh,” Amethyst shrugged, grinning. “You’ll warm up to it eventually.”
As expected, phase 2 had taken hours. Still, exhaustion was barely even a thought for Stan and Amethyst–it never was when it came to Revenge Trips and the spiteful adrenaline that fueled them. It kept them going all the way up to their penultimate destination: the Gleeful merchandise factory.
Stage 3 was set to be the most risky part of their plan by far, one that could land them in serious hot water if they were caught. Vandalism and property damage were one thing; but the scale of the theft they were about to commit was staggering. Not that either of them were all too daunted by that fact. After all, there was one hard and fast rule they always kept in mind on any Revenge Trip:
“Instead of just going big, always go bigger.” And that’s exactly what they were going to do tonight.
“You know the plan, right?” Stan asked as they pulled up to the warehouse.
“Duh,” Amethyst smirked. “We get in there, get all the stuff, get out, and dump it in the lake. Simple as that.”
“Sure, ‘simple’,” Stan deadpanned, getting out. “It’ll be real simple if we manage to make it outta here without getting busted. Now, can you give us an in?” he asked, handing her a crowbar.
“You got it!” Amethyst gave him a thumbs up. She took a high leap at one of the warehouse's windows, perching herself on the ledge as she used the crowbar to pry it open. Stan only had to wait for a moment before the front doors swung open, revealing a satisfied Amethyst standing inside.
“What do ya know?” Amethyst said as Stan walked past her into the factory. “Looks like I haven’t lost my touch either.”
“How could you when you break into my house at least once a week?”
“Aw, come on. You know you love it.”
“Love is a strong word. How about we say I tolerate it and leave it at that?”
“Pfft, whatever,” Amethyst snorted.
The warehouse ahead of them was stocked to the brim with Gideon’s self-promoting paraphernalia, piled up in boxes and crates stacked up to the ceiling. And yet, where some would see an intimidating challenge, Stan and Amethyst only saw a golden opportunity, one that they were more than ready to take.
“So…” Amethyst cringed as she kicked a Lil’ Gideon plushy aside. “Where should we start?”
“With anything breakable,” Stan said, clutching his own crowbar. “And then everything else we’ll haul down to the lake.”
“Sounds like a plan to me!” Amethyst readily agreed.
From there, the pair got to work. They stormed the warehouse, swinging their crowbars at everything and anything. Amethyst took it a step further by shapeshifting into a bulldozer, slamming her wrecking ball into the stacks of merch while Stan stood by, laughing and cheering her on all the while. Their rampage was messy, noisy, and above all else, utterly chaotic.
Just like any good Revenge Trip should be.
Once they’d finished that rampage, they began rounding up everything else. It was a fairly sizable load of clothing, figurines, posters, and more, and not all of it would be able to fit in Stan’s car. That’s where Amethyst’s shapeshifting came in handy. She essentially turned herself into a “sack” to hold all of the remaining merch, tethering herself to the top of Stan’s car with all of their stolen goods secured underneath her.
“K-k!” Amethyst exclaimed, her voice tight. “I… I think I’m ready!”
“Are you sure?” Stan asked. “‘Cause you look like you’re pushing yourself pretty hard up there.”
“A-aw…” she let out a weak laugh. “Y-you really do care about me, S-Stan!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Stan waved his hand dismissively. “Let’s just get going already. The sooner we finish, the sooner I can finally go home and get in bed. Coffee only does so much to keep a guy my age going, you know.”
“Then c-come on!” Amethyst urged as Stan got back in the car. “L-let’s finish this!”
With that, Stan drove off, going slow enough to help Amethyst keep her spot on the roof. Still, they had every reason to be more careful now; the large, purple mound on top of the car would be a dead give-away if anyone spotted them. Fortunately, the night was on their side as they finally managed to make it to the lake undetected, satisfied they’d be able to pull off the final part of their plan without a hitch.
Or so they hoped.
Amethyst let out an exhausted sigh as she shapeshifted back to her usual self the second the car pulled up onto the shore. All of the stolen merchandise fell off the roof along with her, with several boxes already drifting away into the shallows of the lake.
“You ok?” Stan asked, standing over her. “Or are you gonna need a minute?”
Amethyst responded with a feeble thumbs-up. “I-I’m… good...”
“Good, because we don’t have a lot of time to waste,” Stan said. “We gotta shove all this junk into the lake before sun-up, or else we’ll-”
“Or else what , Stanford?”
Stan and Amethyst froze stiff as a pair of glaring headlights suddenly flooded them both. And of course, standing between those lights, was none other than the very target of tonight’s Revenge Trip himself.
“Gideon?!” the pair exclaimed, shocked.
“Well, good evenin’ both of ya!” Gideon offered them a fake, friendly smile. “Or perhaps I should be saying good mornin’ since it's, oh, about 3 a.m.! Now that begs the question… what are ya’ll doin’ out here this early with such a fine array of merchandise from my factory, hm?”
“Oh, this?” Stan asked. “We were just moving it all for you. Yeah, we figured that a bunch of useless tacky junk like this belongs better at the bottom of the lake than it does all nice and cozy in that warehouse of yours.”
“Oh, well I’m much obliged, Stanford, much obliged,” Gideon nodded as his smile sharpened. “’Course, you both realize that I can’t just let something like this lie. Especially since all of my signs all around town were also shamelessly vandalized tonight. Ya’ll wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”
“Ugh, just shut up , you little twerp,” Amethyst groaned, annoyed. “You already caught us red-handed, you don’t have to be an annoying jerk about it.”
“Very well then, I suppose you're right,” Gideon shrugged. “Guess there really is no need in bein’ pleasant if you ain’t gonna be. I’ll just settle for dialing up the police and letting them handle this.” He grinned darkly as he pulled out his phone. “I’m sure the town prison will just love to welcome two new inmates in one night.”
“Ok then, go ahead and call them,” Stan challenged, unconcerned. Amethyst shot him a confused glance, but he quickly reassured her with a sly, subtle wink. “And while you’re at it, go ahead and tell them how you trespassed onto my property earlier and cut through my lizard cage. Or about how you vandalized the Gem’s temple and painted the whole thing blue. I’m sure they’d love to hear about that.”
“Ohhhh!” Amethyst exclaimed, laughing. “You can’t smooth-talk your way outta that, Gideon! We know you did all that stuff!”
“Maybe so,” Gideon acknowledged. “But it’s my word against ya’lls. And really, who are they gonna believe? Poor lil’ ol’ me? Or the town crook and a Gem with a known record of causin’ mischief?”
Stan and Amethyst exchanged an anxious glance at this. Neither of them wanted to admit it, but they knew he was right. Gideon practically had the entire town wrapped around his finger; it’d take a miracle to convince anyone that they were in the right, especially after everything they’d done so far tonight.
“So are we making a break for it?” Amethyst muttered to Stan.
“Do you even have to ask?” he replied in a quick whisper. “Getaway time!” he shouted, throwing a smoke bomb down. While Gideon was blinded by the blast, Stan and Amethyst jumped into the car and sped off down the shoreline, leaving their haul of merchandise behind in favor of escaping.
“Wha—hey!” Gideon shouted, enraged. “Get back here, you— augh !” He ran to the car behind him, hopping into the passenger’s seat beside Bud. “After ‘em, Daddy!” he ordered harshly as he began dialing up the police. “Don’t you dare let them get away!”
Meanwhile, Stan floored it as he swerved back onto the road, while Amethyst stole a nervous glance out the back window. “Uh, he’s following us!”
“Of course he is, the little troll!” Stan growled. “Wouldn’t have expected anything else. We’ve gotta lose him!”
“Yeah! Now you’re talking!” Amethyst exclaimed. “Oh, wait! I got an idea!” She turned around in her seat, reaching for the mound of plushies that they had shoved in the back and grabbing several of them. Opening her window wide, she threw them hard at Bud’s car, watching with a satisfied smile as he had to swerve out of the way to miss them.
“Nice one!” Stan grinned. “Now we just gotta-” He cut himself off the moment he heard police sirens ringing out from behind them. Amethyst gasped as she looked out the back to see a patrol car had joined the chase, riding alongside Gideon and his father as they chased after them.
“Aw, come on!” Amethyst groaned. “How’d they get here so fast?! I swear, it’s like that kid can get anyone to do anything for him!”
“It doesn’t matter!” Stan said, speeding on the narrow forest road. “‘Cause we’re about to shake both of them as soon as I find the dirt path up ahead.”
“That old thing? You’ll never be able to find it as dark as it is out here!” Amethyst protested. “Let me drive, I have a much better idea!”
“What?! You really think I’m gonna let you drive my car?!” Stan scoffed. “Now you’ve really lost it!”
“Come on, Stan, just trust me on this!” Amethyst pleaded, reaching for the wheel. “I have a plan! You know me! I always have a plan!”
“Yeah, well if you always have a plan, then why didn’t you plan on this happening, huh?!” Stan retorted, pulling the wheel away from her. The car wildly weaved back and forth on the road as they grappled for it, but even still, both Gideon and the cops kept tight on their tail.
“I could have planned for it!” Amethyst argued hotly.
“Then why didn’t you?!”
“Because… because I… Look out!” Amethyst let out a frightened shout as the car rounded the next turn hard.
Fortunately, they managed to lose Gideon and the police with this maneuver, but neither of them were able to stop the car from veering out of control and off the road altogether. All they could do was share a scream as the care plowed into the woods, the breaks proving useless thanks to their dramatic descent downhill. They only narrowly managed to avoid hitting any of the trees in their path thanks to Stan steering their way through them, despite plenty of dangerously close calls. After what felt like ages, the car finally came to a stop in the middle of a wide clearing, a bit worse for wear, but miraculously still in one piece.
As the car finally went still and the engine mercifully cut off, the pair sat in stunned silence. While Stan leaned back in his seat to try and catch his breath, Amethyst let loose a loud, triumphant cheer.
“Whoo! We lived! And it was awesome !” she exclaimed, stars in her eyes. “Man, I wish I could have seen the looks on our faces as we were rolling down that hill! What a wild ride! Huh, Stan?” Amethyst grinned as she glanced at him, only to find him staring down at his lap in shaken disbelief.
“Amethyst, we nearly just died,” he said, his tone harsh and cold.
“Well, yeah, almost, I guess,” Amethyst shrugged. “But we almost died a bunch of times on Revenge Trips before, so what’s the big deal? Like we said, this party’s going all night! And nothing’s gonna stop us from-”
“Dammit, Amethyst!” Stan practically shouted. “I’m serious!”
“Pfft, since when?” Amethyst scoffed, crossing her arms. “Oh yeah, that’s right. Since you got old and boring. Should have known you’d wimp out on me in the end. Just like last time.”
“And I should have known that everything would turn south, just like last time,” Stan countered just as bitterly. “I don’t even know why I agreed to come along on this disaster. I knew I should have just trusted my gut and stayed home. At least then I wouldn’t be on the lamb again .”
“Oh yeah, cause anything’s better than going on another Revenge Trip with me, right?” Amethyst asked sharply. “I’m too ‘rambunctious’, too ‘reckless’, too much for anyone to handle, even you! But for some reason, I still thought you could.” She let out a hash breath as she tore her sights away from him. “For some reason, I thought you were actually cool way back then. Guess I was totally wrong all along.”
“Whatever,” Stan coldly retorted. “You really think I care what you think about me? Or about what anyone thinks of me? Well, I don’t! Never have! And you know why? Because unlike you , I’m totally fine on my own! I don’t need anybody to pick me up when I’m down and tell me I’m gonna be ok, ‘cause that’s not how the real world works! I don’t need to go out and act up just to make myself feel better! The only reason I ever went along and did any of that was because of you !”
“Oh yeah? W-well, who said I ever needed you to make me feel better?!” Amethyst shouted, her hands curling into tight fists. “I was just fine before I ever met you! Back then I had Rose, and she’d always tell me that I was special, that I was important, no matter what!”
“Oh wow, real inspiring ,” Stan deadpanned. “I’m sure she really meant it too. Just like how she said she was gonna stick around you guys forever, huh? And look at how that ended up turning out.”
Amethyst suddenly threw her fist down hard on the dashboard, utterly enraged. “Don’t you ever talk about Rose like that!” she screamed, tears welling up in her eyes. “You think it’s not hard enough that she’s gone?! I don’t need to be reminded of it, especially not by you ! You couldn’t possibly know how hard it is to just lose someone like that!”
“Oh, really?!” Stan asked. The way he looked at her, with such unkempt fury, such unspoken pain , nearly caught her completely off guard. “Shows what you know. I do know what it’s like to lose someone important. I knew how that felt way before you ever did! In fact, I-”
He quickly cut himself off as he drew in a sharp, sudden breath. He barely managed to bite back the bitter tears Amethyst had been powerless to stop on her end. For a long, tense moment, silence filled the car, until Stan finally broke it with a long, tired sigh. “See, this right here is why we stopped doing Revenge Trips…”
“What are you talking about?” Amethyst asked, curling in on herself. “We stopped because you got lame on me, just like everyone else…”
“No,” he countered, shaking his head. “We stopped because this exact same thing happened the last time too, remember?”
“...Yeah, of course, I do,” she muttered, unable to hide the shame that had stuck with her for well over a decade now. “That night ruined everything …”
14 years ago...
The first “Revenge Trip” had been a rousing success, paving the way for many more. Any time Stan and Amethyst found enough of a reason, they ran the roads by night, wreaking revenge on anyone who might’ve wronged them. They took chances, caused chaos, got even, and best of all, always had the time of their lives doing it all for eight years straight.
Despite many close calls, they were rarely ever caught, and whenever they were, either Stan would talk their way out of it, or Amethyst would force their way out of it. Otherwise, they spent their nights riding high and free, brightly breezing their way through every Revenge Trip, each more exciting and more risky than the last.
Until the night it all came crashing down.
It was supposed to be a simple job. A local supplier had failed to deliver a shipment of merchandise that Stan had already paid for, and they adamantly refused to give him a refund for it. Needless to say, he called upon Amethyst that very night, and just like that, they were off on another Revenge Trip. At first, it had been as easy as driving up to the factory a few towns over, breaking in, and sneaking out with the merchandise Stan had ordered. They were old pros at heists as straightforward as that by now, to the point that they’d gotten more than a little cocky, overconfident even.
And in the end, that overconfidence proved to be their downfall.
Things went wrong almost as soon as they arrived, when they accidentally set one of the factory’s many alarms off. Unfortunately for them, security was already on-site, and the police weren’t far behind them. And unlike the lenient cops back in Gravity Falls, these cops weren’t willing to let them go with just a slap on the wrist so easily.
And that’s how the pair found themselves sitting in a jail cell, facing more than a few serious charges for their latest escapade.
“I can’t believe we got caught,” Stan grumbled as he reclined against the stone wall behind him. “All these years and we’ve never been busted like this before! Guess that’s why we got caught in the first place: we got sloppy.”
“Yeah, we did, but you know what’s not gonna be sloppy?” Amethyst asked with a sly smirk. “Bustin’ outta here.”
“What? You can’t be serious,” Stan scoffed. “Amethyst, we aren’t in Gravity Falls anymore. These cops aren’t as dumb or easy to fool as the ones back home. If they were, then I would have already talked us out of this cell and we’d be off the hook.”
“Oh, so what?” Amethyst asked. “You’re just gonna sit here and serve five to ten just because we made one dumb mistake?”
“No, but I’m just saying. We need to see how this is gonna play out before rushing into anything else. Tonight’s already turning out to be enough of a mess as it is, we don’t need to make it any worse.”
“Since when did you start wimping out on me, Stan?” Amethyst asked, indignant. “You’re always telling me about all of the wild and crazy things you used to do back in the day, so what gives?”
“‘What gives’ is that this isn’t worth it!” Stan argued. “It’s all fun and games until something like this happens. And I’ve been in enough scraps of my own to know that when things go downhill as bad as this, that’s when it’s time to bail out.”
“Wha—Yeah, b-but… that’s what makes it all so fun!” Amethyst protested. “It wouldn’t be worth it if it was easy! The risk is what makes a Revenge Trip a Revenge Trip! Duh!”
“See, that’s always been your problem, Amethyst!” Stan scolded. “You always gotta go bigger than you need to and it always ends up getting both of us in trouble! Which is why…” He let out a long sigh, hanging his head in defeat. “I’m done.”
“D-done with what?”
“With this! With Revenge Trips, with getting arrested, with-”
“With me?!” Amethyst asked hotly, her hands curling into tight fists.
“Maybe!” Stan shouted before he could stop himself.
He regretted it immediately, as soon as he heard the sharp, pained gasp Amethyst took in. Her eyes were already welling up with tears that she refused to let fall as she simply glared at him, her expression saying far more than words ever could. “A-Amethyst,” Stan began, unsure of how to fix this. Any of this. “I… I don’t… I didn’t mean-”
“Amethyst!”
The pair started, surprised, as a familiar pair marched up to their cell. Stan didn’t try to hide his aggravation from Garnet and Pearl. Amethyst, on the other hand, was much more concerned.
“Oh no…” she muttered, knowing that this had just gone from bad to worse. Knowing that after eight years of keeping all of this a secret from the rest of her team, it was all over. They’d been caught red handed.
“Well, it looks like you were right after all, Garnet,” Pearl said, glaring at the pair inside the cell. “I didn’t want to believe that Amethyst would engage in something so deplorable, especially with a miscreant like you, Stan, but here we all are! Care to explain?”
“Sheesh,” Stan rolled his eyes. “As if getting arrested wasn’t bad enough, now we gotta sit here and listen to you lecture to us, Pearl? Might as well just send me off to death row and get it over with instead.”
Pearl let out an appalled gasp as she grabbed Garnet by the arm. “Did you hear what he just said to me?! What a no-good, callous, unscrupulous, lying, cheating-”
“Pearl,” Garnet cut in. “Calm down.”
“What are you guys even doing here?” Amethyst asked, dismayed. “And how’d you find out about any of this? We’ve been doing this kinda stuff for eight years, and you guys are only busting our chops for it now ?”
“Eight years?!” Pearl exclaimed, shocked. “We just started thinking that your little nighttime ‘solo missions’ weren’t what they seemed just the other week! How have you two been keeping this insane ruse up for eight whole years?!”
“Uh, maybe it’s because we’re way smarter than you, stretch,” Stan deadpanned. “Ever thought about that one?”
“Clearly you weren’t smart enough to not get arrested,” Garnet returned just as sarcastically.
“So what? Are you guys gonna break us outta here or not?” Amethyst asked with an exasperated sigh.
“Of course we’re not!” Pearl asserted. “As far as I’m concerned, you both deserve to learn the consequences of your horrible actions! Isn’t that right, Rose?” She turned, only to find that their leader was nowhere to be found. “Rose?”
“Oh, sorry, Pearl!” Rose called as she finally stepped into the cell block. “I was just making sure none of those officers you knocked out earlier were seriously hurt and—Oh…”She stopped short. Her pregnant stomach was starting to become rounder by the day, and a cloud of near-constant exhaustion seemed to hover over her usually bright features. Exhaustion that only deepened when she took in the sight of the pair sitting in the cell before her. “Stan.”
“Rose,” Stan greeted her just as dryly.
“Rose…” Amethyst guiltily muttered, staring at the ground.
“Amethyst…” Rose began, her tone soft yet firm. “What’s all this about? What were you doing to end up here with… him?”
“Rose, these two have been up to no good for nearly eight years now, right under our noses!” Pearl quickly informed her. “Can you believe it?! Eight whole years! And we never noticed until now! I can’t imagine how they managed to-”
“It doesn’t matter now,” Rose calmly interrupted. “Pearl, let me handle this. Please.”
Pearl took in a sharp breath, nodding as she backed away to let Rose step closer to the cell. “Amethyst?”
“Y-yeah…?” Amethyst looked up, feeling even smaller than she usually did.
“I don’t understand,” she shook her head. “I know you like to act out from time to time, but this? It’s just… You can’t…” She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment to collect her thoughts. “You can’t act like this. You know you can’t. When I’m… gone, you, Garnet, and Pearl will be the only Crystal Gems left. And I need to be able to depend on you to protect humanity in my place. But how can I if you’re going to go out and cause this kind of trouble?”
Amethyst didn’t say anything; how could she? Rose’s words, while gentle and well-meaning, hit her hard. Shame swelled up inside of her, to the point that she could barely stand it, shame that she knew she’d never be able to shake. Not when the Gem she looked up to, the Gem she idolized, the Gem who helped her become who she was today… couldn’t trust her anymore.
“And as for you, Stan,” Rose’s tone turned a touch harsher. “I really don’t understand your part in all this. I thought we both made it more than clear where we stood with each other. You said so yourself: you didn’t want anything to do with any of us. But then you suddenly start hanging out with Amethyst? Why? What do you have to gain?”
“Maybe I didn’t wanna ‘gain’ anything from it, huh?” Stan retorted, scowling. “Maybe we just did it for the heck of it. Besides, it’s not like you really have grounds to gripe at me about any of this; at least I’m not the one who’s always leaving Amethyst out of everything.”
“Wha—what are you talking about?” Rose asked, genuinely caught off guard. “We… we don’t… Amethyst… is… is that how you’ve been feeling?”
Amethyst didn’t meet her gaze as she simply, sheepishly nodded. “Yeah… a little…”
“I… I’m so sorry…” Rose said, her eyes wide and her voice shaken. “I had no idea… I never wanted you to feel like I used to-” She stopped herself, shaking her head once more. “You didn’t know–and how could you have? After all, he’s already fooled everyone else, so why wouldn’t he have tricked you too? I knew I should have told you to stay away from him from the very start…”
Stan sat up a bit straighter under the brief, withering gaze Rose sent his way. “Oh, sure ,” he sneered bitterly. “Go ahead, blame me for all of this. You already blame me for everything else, so why not this too?”
“Well maybe I wouldn’t have to blame you if you had just left us all alone like you said you would!” Rose snapped back at him.
“Maybe I would have left you alone if you had kept your nose out of things for a change!” Stan shouted, standing.
“Maybe I would have stayed out of things if you hadn’t shown up here in the first place and started undoing everything we had worked so hard to-”
“Stop it!” Amethyst suddenly shouted. She came to stand between the pair, desperate to break the unexplainable fury flowing between them up in any way she could. Even at her own expense. “Just stop it! I don’t even know why you guys are arguing when this is all my fault anyway!”
“What?” Rose asked, surprised. Likewise, both Pearl and Garnet exchanged a confused glance.
“Amethyst, what-” Stan started to ask until Amethyst Interrupted him.
“You heard me,” Amethyst said, resolved. “This is all my fault. Not Stan’s. He didn’t trick me or anything like that. I was the one who went down to his house eight years ago and… I dunno, we just sorta became friends. In fact… I was the one who came up with the whole Revenge Trip thing in the first place.”
“But-” Stan tried to cut her off, only for Amethyst to continue taking the blame. Even though he knew she didn’t deserve it.
“I’m the reason why we got in trouble and wound up here,” she insisted. “So… if you’re gonna yell at anyone, yell at me. But… don’t blame Stan for this, please. I know you don’t like him, Rose, but… I do. He’s like… the only person who’s there for me when you guys aren’t. I feel… I feel like I can really be myself around him… Doesn’t that mean anything?”
For what felt like ages, Rose didn’t say anything. Instead, she simply started down at Amethyst, her expression awash in countless different emotions all at once. In the end, the most she could offer was a small, resigned sigh as she rested a gentle hand against her stomach. “Oh, Amethyst…” she began, glancing away. “I… We… We’ll talk about this when we get back to the temple… For now, let’s… let’s just get you out of there.”
As surprising as this shift was, neither Stan nor Amethyst complained when Garnet stepped up to the cell and used her gauntlets to pull the bars apart to let them out. No one said much else as they made their way out of the jail, not that there was much left to say anyway. Still, as Stan headed for his car, he couldn’t help but stop short to spare a glance back at Amethyst. She glumly followed behind the other Gems as she returned his gaze, catching the soft ‘thank you’ he mouthed to her. Amethyst could only offer him the smallest, most bittersweet smile before they both turned away.
And just like that, the final Revenge Trip was over.
“You wanna know what Rose said to me when we got back to the temple that night?” Amethyst asked softly as she hugged her knees to her chest.
“Amethyst, you don’t gotta-” Stan started, but she quickly cut him off.
“She told me she was disappointed in me. And… while that hurt, a lot , in a way it was sorta… ok. ‘Cause I knew I took the brunt of everything for you and… I was really glad I did…”
Stan knew he could have said just about anything at this juncture. But instead, all he could ask was, “So… are you still glad you did?”
Amethyst paused to think the question over. In the end, she didn’t get a chance to answer as a sudden light filled the car from right outside. The pair shielded their eyes, alarmed, as they expected Gideon and the cops. Only to be just as startled by who had actually found them instead.
“Amethyst!” Pearl shouted from her spot in front of the vehicle. “Get out of that car this instant! You too, Stan!”
“Aw, geez…” Amethyst facepalmed.
“Yeesh, history really does repeat itself, doesn’t it?” Stan deadpanned in a futile attempt to lighten the mood.
Once they were both out of the car, the pair was able to see that Pearl wasn’t alone. Garnet had joined her, of course, but so had Steven, Dipper, and Mabel, all clad in their pajamas, and all equally tired and confused about being dragged out of bed and into the woods.
“Amethyst? Mr. Pines?” Steven asked, frowning. “What are you guys doing out here in the middle of the woods this late?”
“Getting busted, apparently,” Amethyst scowled, kicking a nearby rock. “Also what gives?” She shot a glare over at the twins. “I thought you guys agreed to not spill any of this to Pearl or Garnet. Not cool, dudes.”
“Just for the record, we didn’t tell them anything about what you guys were up to,” Dipper said, defensive. “Mostly because we didn’t even know what you guys were up to ourselves.”
“Yeah, they just came by and got us out of bed so we could come down here and find you guys,” Mabel let out a yawn. “So what were you guys doing anyway? Racing through the forest against squirrels or something? Because that sounds like a lot of fun!”
“I can tell you right now what they were doing,” Pearl gave Stan and Amethyst a critical scowl. “Getting themselves in all sorts of trouble, that’s what.”
“Hey, we only got in trouble ‘cause we got caught,” Stan countered crossly. “How’d you find us all the way out here in the middle of nowhere anyway?”
“Just like how we found you the last time,” Garnet said, shifting her shades. “Future vision.”
“Ugh, of course,” Amethyst winced. “That always comes in to bite us in the butt somehow.”
“Honestly, Amethyst, I can’t believe you would go out and do another one of these heinous… ‘Revenge Trips’ again!” Pearl scolded. “Didn’t you both learn your lesson last time when you got arrested for one of these nights of reckless abandon?”
“Whoa, you guys got arrested together before?” Steven asked, curious.
“Why don’t you guys ever tell us about all this cool stuff you used to do?!” Mabel asked, just as intrigued.
“‘Cause it doesn’t matter, kid,” Stan said, crossing his arms. “That was years ago. Which means nobody should hold it against us anymore.”
“I think we have every right to, seeing as how both of you are still acting just as childish now as you were back then!” Pearl exclaimed. “I mean, just think of the terrible example you both are setting for the kids!”
“Uh, to be fair, they didn’t set an example that any of us would really follow,” Dipper pointed out. “What, with the whole driving a car into the forest thing.”
“Yeah, see?” Stan shrugged. “If the kids aren’t all torn up about it, then why should you be? It’s not even a big deal.”
“It is a big deal,” Garnet said firmly. “What you two did tonight was irresponsible and reckless.”
“I completely agree, Garnet,” Pearl soundly agreed. “Amethyst, didn’t you listen to a word that Rose said to you that night years ago?! Oh, just think of what she would say if she were here now. She’d be mortified by your irresponsible, heedless, dangerous, selfish-”
“Hold it!” Stan cut in the second he spotted the shame-filled look on Amethyst’s face. Shame that he wasn’t about to let her bear the brunt of, not this time. “Now you two can stand here and scream at me all you want for what happened tonight, but I’m not about to let you let Amethyst take the fall for any of it.”
“Uh, Stan?” Amethyst asked, suddenly confused.
“Oh?” Pearl asked, sizing him up. “And why is that?”
“Because… because this was my idea!” Stan firmly proclaimed. “Guess I was just getting a little stir crazy and needed some action. So I roped Amethyst into going on a classic Revenge Trip with me. You can’t really fault her for coming along to blow off some steam, especially since you two are always fussing at her all the time anyway.”
“Whoa… Grunkle Stan, is all that true?” Mabel asked as she and Dipper stared at him, eyes wide.
As much as Stan didn’t like the critical look his niece and nephew were giving him, he had no choice but to take it. After all, Amethyst had done the exact same thing for him years ago. It was only fair that he returned the favor. “You’re darn right it is,” he said, resolved. “Isn’t that right, Amethyst?”
For her part, Amethyst could only stare at him, stunned. In the end, however, she decided to take the out she was giving her. How could she not, when he was offering it so freely, so selflessly? “Yeah… that’s right,” she said, narrowly suppressing a grateful smile.
And just like that, the debt they owed each other for years now had finally been repaid.
“Well, we should have figured as much,” Pearl scoffed, glaring at Stan. “Nothing ever changes with you, does it, Stan? You’re still just as irresponsible now as you’ve always been. In fact, I have half a mind to-”
“Pearl,” Garnet interrupted, stepping past her to approach Stan. He crossed his arms as he looked up to her, expecting to be reamed out even more. Only to be caught off guard by the genuinely sincere look on her face. “Stan,” she said. “Thank you for telling us the truth. This doesn’t make what either of you did tonight right, but… it does prove a lot that you’re willing to put yourself out there for Amethyst. Which… to be honest… isn’t something even we can say we do for her that often.”
“Well then, maybe you should start,” Stan replied, completely earnest. “Cause you know, she really ain’t half bad.”
“Heh,” Amethyst chuckled, elbowing him in the knee. “Same goes for you, ‘old man’.”
The kids couldn’t help but smile over such a sweet exchange. Even Garnet and Pearl found themselves strangely touched by it as their former frustration swiftly ebbed away. The tender moment was cut off all too soon, however, by the heavy sounds of approaching footsteps and nearby voices.
“I saw a light over this way!” Gideon’s tell-tale accent called out. “C’mon!”
“Aw, man! It’s Gideon!” Amethyst whispered worriedly. “We forgot all about that little loser!”
“Wait, you two were trying to get revenge on Gideon?” Dipper asked. “Well, I guess that makes sense after what he did to the, uh, ‘dinosaur’ cage earlier.”
“And the temple,” Steven added.
“Aw, you guys totally should have asked us to come with you for this whole ‘Revenge Trip’ thing!” Mabel exclaimed. “We would have loved to help you get even with Gideon!”
“Ugh, and he’s got the fuzz with him too?” Stan scowled when he heard other voices following after his rival’s. “Whelp, that’s it! We’re pretty much done for this time! Might as well just surrender now, because how in the world would we ever get outta this one?”
“Like this,” Garnet suddenly said. “Stan, Amethyst, take the kids and hide. We’ll handle this.”
“Wha—we will?” Pearl asked as the others ran off to take cover in the woods. She quickly changed her tune, however, when she caught the insistent look Garnet sent her way. “Oh! I mean, o-of course we will! Right…”
“Aha!” Gideon exclaimed as he burst into the clearing alongside Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland. “There they—are?”
“Evening, officers,” Garnet coolly nodded as she leaned against Stan’s car. Pearl stood much more stiffly alongside her, though she still made an effort of putting on as convincing of a smile as she could. “Gideon.”
“Wha—You two?!” Gideon exclaimed, dumbfounded. “What are ya’ll doing here? Where are Stanford and Amethyst?! I demand you bring ‘em out here so they can pay recompense for their crimes against me immediately!”
“Oh, we would, if they were still here, of course,” Pearl said. “And if they were actually guilty of any crimes at all. But, as it stands, you were the one who engaged them in a high speed car chase and apparently from the looks of it… ran them off the road, endangering both of their lives and nearly causing a case of vehicular manslaughter…”
“What?! I did no such thing!” Gideon protested hotly. “Officers, they’re lyin’ to ya both right through their teeth! Can’t you see through their wicked Gem trickery?”
“Hm…” Blubs mused, glancing between the two Gems. “Well, if our two ‘culprits’ aren’t here, then where are they?”
“They went home,” Garnet replied.
“That’s right,” Pearl added, nodding. “The poor things were both so traumatized after the whole experience that they asked the two of us to retrieve Stan’s car while they recovered. And of course, how could we ever deny a request from two… t-two… upstanding members of the community?”
“You really think we’re buying any of that trash?” Gideon scoffed before he turned back to the officers. “I saw the two of them trying to dump all of my merchandise into the lake! Check the car! I’m sure ya’ll will find more than enough evidence.”
“You heard him,” Blubs said as he and Durland stepped forwards. “Step aside, ladies.”
“O-oh… Of course!” Pearl exclaimed, nervous. Fortunately though, Garnet had a plan.
“Wait! Look at that!” she shouted, pointing in the opposite direction. Luckily, the cops, as well as Gideon, were all gullible enough to fall for this ploy. It gave Garnet just enough time to shapeshift her arm to grab the remaining merchandise out of the back of Stan’s car. While the others were still distracted, she easily tossed the haul across the forest seconds before they turned back around. “Alright, go ahead and check.”
The officers did exactly that, shining their flashlight in the backseat only to find it was completely empty. “Well, golly, nothing’s in there!” Durland exclaimed.
“W-what?!” Gideon gasped, shocked. “But… but they-”
“Looks like you have no evidence for your bold claims, Gideon,” Pearl shrugged coyly. “You might as well just head on home. It’s beyond past your bedtime, after all.”
“Well, it’s definitely past our bedtimes,” Blubs concluded with a tired nod. “Come along, Durland. I’ll pick us up some early morning coffee on the way back to the station.”
“Oh boy!” Durland exclaimed brightly, following his partner up the hill. “Can I have extra whipped cream in mine?!”
“No, wait!” Gideon called out after the cops. When his pleas fell on deaf ears, he spun back around to offer the Gems a hateful glare. “You conniving Gems may think you’re so clever, but very soon ya’ll are gonna regret ever makin’ an enemy outta me! You think painting your precious temple all up is bad? Just wait until I smash it to smithereens!”
“Oh, so you were the one who did that?” Pearl asked, crossing her arms. “And here we were thinking it was Amethyst all this time! I guess we owe her an apology!” She said loudly enough that Amethyst would easily be able to hear her.
“And believe us, we’re already regretting having you as an enemy,” Garnet deadpanned. “Having to put up with you alone is about as annoying as it gets.”
Gideon let out a furious growl as he spun on his heel and stormed off into the woods, grumbling threats against the Gems all the while. Only once they were sure he was gone did Garnet and Pearl let the others know the coast was clear. The kids rushed out first, amazed by how smoothly the pair had handled such a dicey situation. Of course, no one was more impressed than Stan and Amethyst themselves.
“Oh my gosh, you guys, what you just did was awesome !” Amethyst exclaimed, beaming. “That little chump’s gonna be crying about this for weeks!”
“Yeah, I gotta admit you two pulled a pretty decent con back there,” Stan acknowledged with a smile. “And believe me, I know all about cons.”
“Well, thank you, Stan,” Pearl said, satisfied. “But for future reference, don’t ever make us lie like that to cover for you again. I nearly gagged trying to convince myself to call you an honest citizen.”
The group shared a short laugh at this, one that faded when Steven spoke up. “Well I’m really glad we’re all getting along again! But, uh… could we maybe go home now? I don’t know about you guys, but these past few nights haven’t been the best for sleeping…”
“Agreed,” Dipper tiredly nodded.
“Sleep! Sleep! Sleep!” Mabel cheered, surprisingly energized.
“Alright, alright, we’ll take you all home,” Pearl chuckled as she and Garnet began to lead the kids away. “Are you two coming?” she asked Stan and Amethyst.
“Eh, we’ll catch up with you all later,” Stan shrugged. “We still have one more thing we gotta do.”
“Oh yeah! That’s right!” Amethyst exclaimed, remembering the final part of their plan. “Uh… we’ll be back in a while. Don’t wait up!”
“We won’t,” Garnet assured as they all headed off into the woods. Stan and Amethyst lingered back as a strange sort of silence filled the air between them. That silence only continued as they both got back into the car and began to drive out of the woods. At least until Amethyst finally worked up the nerve to break it.
“Uh… Stan?” she began. “I… I, uh… Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Um… you know, nobody’s ever really… stuck up for me like that before. It… it was nice, for a change.”
“Yeah, well, nobody stuck up for me the way you did all those years ago, either,” Stan shrugged, finally cracking a small smile. “So I guess that means we’re finally even, huh?”
“Guess so…” Amethyst let out a contented sigh. “Uh… I know tonight ended up being a huge mess but… you really did prove that you can still keep up with me so… that’s pretty cool. I guess we’re still sold off of doing any more Revenge Trips though, huh?”
“Are you kidding?! Of course we’re gonna do more!” Stan exclaimed, as if it was obvious.
“What? But you said-”
“You really think I’m gonna let one nearly bad night stop us now that we got our mojo back?” Stan snorted out a laugh. “No way! I haven’t felt this young in years . And just for the record, I’d do tonight over again in a heartbeat, screw-ups and all.”
“Heh, same here,” Amethyst chuckled warmly. “After all, where would screw-ups like us be without plenty of screw-ups of our own?”
“Old and boring,” Stan replied, smirking. “That’s where. Now, let’s finish this Revenge Trip once and for all. Because how long is this party going?”
Stars were practically Amethyst’s eyes as she was more than happy to let out a daring cheer as they drove off into the night. Into wherever this Revenge Trip ended up taking them next. “This party’s going all night long!”
“Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to humbly welcome you to my lil’ ol’ Tent of Telepathy!” Gideon brightly greeted his latest group of tourists the next morning. “Inside this tent, ya’ll will find a world of wonder and enchantment! So why wait any longer? Let’s head on-”
He was suddenly cut off as he walked smack into the wide, large, solid canvas behind him. Gideon topped over along with the elaborate painting of the Tent of Telepathy, realistic enough to fool even him. His guests all gasped in shock as the ruse collapsed, revealing the actual tent behind it. Or rather, what was left of it.
Without the pegs to keep it standing, the tent had collapsed to the ground overnight. To make matters even worse for Gideon, it had fallen in such a way that it revealed the biting insult spray-painted onto it in bold, red letters: “Gideon Peeful”.
“W-what?!” Gideon exclaimed, mortified. A mix of laughs and boos came from the crowd, which quickly disbanded when they realized Gideon had absolutely nothing to show them.
As he desperately ran after the tourists, Gideon failed to notice the pair hidden just out of sight in the bushes nearby. Stan and Amethyst finally let loose the laughter they’d been holding back once Gideon was out of earshot, exchanging a high five over another Revenge Trip gone right.
“Man, V really came through for us this time!” Amethyst chuckled, glancing back at the fallen painting. “That worked perfectly!”
“Hey, all the best Revenge Trips always do, don’t they?” Stan asked, grinning.
“Heck yeah, they do! I already have a bunch of new ideas for our next one, whenever it is. That is, if you’re game for it.”
“You know I am,” Stan confidently nodded. “Though, uh, we might wanna wait a while before we pull another one. After something as wild as last night, I’m gonna need a little time to recover, you know?”
“Pfft, whatever you say, old man ,” Amethyst joked, playfully elbowing him.
“Now listen, kid, ” Stan sternly began. “I thought I told you to- ” He quickly backed off though in favor of a laugh he was powerless to hold back. “Aw, you know what? I’ll let it slide.” He sent a wink Amethyst’s way, one that she was more than happy to return. “This time.”
Notes:
Next time, everyone's favorite evil corn chip makes his official new UF debut...
Chapter 20: Dreamscaperers
Summary:
To stop Gideon's latest scheme to steal the shack, Dipper, Mabel, Steven, Connie, and Soos venture inside of Stan's mind to confront their most tricky foe yet, the devious dream demon Bill Cipher.
Notes:
OHOHOHOHOH Let me tell ya'll I am SO excited about this one! its a MASSIVE upgrade from the old UF version of this chapter, which was very by the books and not all that interesting of an introduction for a character as iconic as Bill. But here in new UF? Oh man there's so much going on here, I can't wait for you all to read it! So with all that said, let's venture inside the mindscape and get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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EKSHIE PBPW CNS GMV'G UWVUGR
EILV ZG'S WEBXL, KW'U A AMMZ
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When it came to gloomy, rainy days, there really wasn’t much to do around the Mystery Shack. Tourists were few and far between, which was why Stan had decided to close up shop as early as that morning. Still, Steven and Connie had already made the trip over to the shack, so they opted to join the Pines in just about the only kind of “fun” that could be had on a day like this: lazing around the den watching TV.
Of course, it didn’t help that there wasn’t much on the local public access movie channel. The kids were all on the verge of nodding off until Stan snorted out a sudden laugh at the cheerfully musical ad on screen.
“Oh geez, get a load of this shlock,” he roused the others. He only barely managed to hold his laughter back as the commercial for the Tent of Telepathy played on.
“Who’s cute as a button, and always your friend?” Gideon sang with the most cheesy, charming smile he could muster. “ Lil’ G-I-D to the E-O-N! Wink!” He finished off with a sly wink as a voiceover from Bud further promoted his son’s act: “Lil’ Gideon!”
“Ugh, Gideon,” Dipper groaned, rolling his eyes.
“Remember when I wouldn’t date him and he tried to destroy us?” Mabel asked, wincing at the memory.
“Or the time he tried using all my Watermelon Stevens to destroy the Gems?” Steven added, frowning mournfully. “Oh, Baby Melon, may you rest in peace—er, pieces.”
“Yeesh, he’s really a menace, isn’t he?” Connie asked.
“‘Menace’ is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to that little freak,” Stan scornfully scowled. “He’s always trying to trick me into losing the Mystery Shack. Not to mention how he nearly got me and Amethyst arrested the other night.”
“Uh, actually, I think you and Amethyst nearly got yourselves arrested,” Dipper pointed out.
“Don’t change the subject!” Stan snapped. “That doesn’t change the fact that Gideon’s still a creepy punk.”
“Seriously though,” Wendy agreed as she and Soos stepped into the room. “One time I caught him stealing my moisturizer.”
“And yet, our mutual hatred for him bonds us together,” Soos concluded.
“Come on down to Lil’ Gideon’s Tent of Telepathy!” Bud’s voiceover exclaimed as the ad came to an end. “Opening soon at this location.”
The shot suddenly changed to, of all places, the Mystery Shack. It didn’t stay put for long though, as a second Tent of Telepathy fell smack on top of it, crushing it altogether. Soon after, a wrecking ball slammed into the Gem temple in the background, shattering the statue’s face first before everything else fell apart soon after it.
“Oh my gosh!” Steven gasped, alarmed. “The temple! And the Mystery Shack! Oh this is terrible! How did Gideon do that while we were all standing in here?!”
“He didn’t, Steven, it was just an effect,” Dipper deadpanned. “Still… should we be worried about that?”
“Please,” Stan waved his hand, unconcerned. “The only way Gideon’s taking over the shack is by breaking in and stealing my deed.”
No sooner had he said this than the stark sound of shattering glass echoed through the shack, startling everyone. “You mean like, right now?” Wendy asked, frowning.
Sure enough, Gideon had indeed busted into Stan’s office, already hard at work trying to decipher the combination to the tightly-locked safe. “38? 41?” he muttered as he frantically turned the lock. “Oh, heavens to betsy!”
“Gideon!” Stan shouted from his spot in the doorway. Behind him, the kids, Soos, and Wendy gathered, all morbidly curious to see the confrontation about to unfold.
“Well, well, Stanford, my arch-nemesis” Gideon greeted him with a devious smirk. “Just like the other night, it seems as though we have entered a dangerous game of cat and mouse. But the question remains: who is the cat and who is the-”
“Soos,” Stan interrupted, holding his hand out. “Broom.”
“Oh no, not the broom!” Gideon cried. It didn’t take long for a chase to break out, with Stan getting a few good whacks of the broom in. Though Gideon tried to retaliate by hissing, Stan ultimately swept him away, finally forcing him out of the room–and out of the shack altogether.
“And stay out, you chump!” Stan ordered from his spot at the door.
“You mark my words, Stanford!” Gideon spun back around, angrily shaking his fist. “One day I’m gonna get that combination! Nobody can stop me! Not you, not those bothersome Crystal Gems, not anyone! And once I get that deed, you’ll never see the Mystery Shack again!”
Stan could only roll his eyes; he’d never taken any of Gideon’s threats seriously before and he sure wasn’t about to start now. “Good luck, bucko,” he sneered. And with that, he slammed the door shut, leaving Gideon to bitterly seethe in the pouring rain.
Even so, Stan made sure to check the safe in his office once more, just in case. As he expected, Gideon hadn’t even come close to cracking it, and Stan was confident it would stay that way. “Heh,” he chuckled to himself as he headed out. “The combo to this safe is in the one place he’ll never find it: my brain.”
Still, Gideon wasn’t one to give up that easily. As he spied on his rival through the window, a cunning scheme began to take shape. One that was sure to finally give him everything he ever wanted and then some.
“Your brain isn’t as safe as you might think, Stanford Pines!” Gideon grinned as he pulled the second journal out of his suit. “This is the last straw! It’s time to unlock the journal’s greatest secret…”
His smile turned nearly manic as he flipped to the entry he was looking for. The page was practically covered in codes and cryptograms, but one thing was more than clear: the strange image of an allegedly otherworldly being. A being that promised anyone who summoned them untold power and knowledge.
Only time would tell if that promise carried any weight.
The eventful stir Gideon’s break-in had caused quickly faded. In its place, boredom set in all over again. The kids did what they could to ward it off as Dipper and Connie had taken to playing a board game while Steven and Mabel huddled in close to watch silly videos on the former’s phone. Both initially innocent time-wasters that all too quickly became far too noisy for Stan’s liking.
“Ugh, that’s it!” Stan interrupted their laughter, swiftly silencing it. “I want every kid who isn’t related to me outta here– now ! And to be honest, the kids who are related to me are on pretty thin ice too…” He muttered, scowling down at Dipper and Mabel.
Steven and Connie exchanged a look at this, surprised. “But… it’s pouring down rain outside,” Connie pointed out, frowning.
“So?” Stan shrugged. “Umbrellas exist for a reason, don’t they? Besides, if you brats wanna bother someone so badly, I know a whole temple full of Gems who definitely have it coming.”
“But Mr. Pines, the Gems are on a really dangerous mission today,” Steven explained. “Which is why Pearl told us to come spend the day down here. She said that you owe her and Garnet for what happened with the cops the other night.”
“Oh what, and Amethyst doesn’t?” Stan huffed. “She was part of that just as much as-” He cut himself off the second he caught the curious looks the kids were sending his way. “Uh, I mean… never mind. I guess you two can hang out here for a while. But only until the Gems get back and only as long as you stop trying to give me a headache.”
“Don’t worry, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel assured, smiling. “We’ll be super quiet.” Almost as soon as she said this, however, her hand slipped on Steven’s phone and a loud song blared out. Before either of them could try to stop it, Stan swiped the device away from them in short order.
“Hey, my phone!” Steven protested, reaching for it.
“Obviously you two can’t handle the responsibility of- ” Stan paused as he looked over the phone, confused. “Whatever this weird noise box is. So until you can, I’ll just hold onto it. Same goes for this mess.” Dipper and Connie were caught off guard when Stan suddenly stepped over to them and pulled their board game up–pieces and all.
“Wha–but Grunkle Stan, we weren’t even being that loud!” Dipper argued, annoyed.
“You were being loud enough,” Stan dryly countered. “Don’t throw a fit over it, kid; I can almost guarantee you weren’t gonna win anyway.”
“Hey!” Dipper exclaimed. His already flustered blush only deepened when he heard Connie softly chuckle behind him,
“Well, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel piped up. “If we aren’t allowed to watch TubeTube videos or play any games, then can we at least watch a movie that we’ll all enjoy instead of… that?” She frowned as she nodded over to the lackluster old western playing on the nearby TV.
“He put the old in ‘old west’.” The TV advertised. “They call him ‘Grandpa the Kid!’”
“I’m tired during the day,” the film’s elderly cowboy grumbled.
“Hey, I’ll have you know I can relate to this!” Stan snapped, defensive.
“But that old junk is sooooo boring,” Mabel whined, sticking her tongue out. “Which is why I have the perfect suggestion for what we should watch instead!” She held up a very colorful VHS tape. “ Dream Boy High ! ‘Where love is on your permanent record’.”
“What?” Stan blinked, completely confounded.
“No,” Dipper flatly rejected his sister’s suggestion.
Connie more or less did the same. “Uh…”
Steven, on the other hand, was much more taken. “Oh wow!” he exclaimed, smiling. “This movie looks like it’ll be great. Just look at how cool and colorful these guys are!” He pointed to the duo of 90s neon-clad teens on the tape’s cover.
Before they could reach a final decision, however, a sudden crash sounded from the kitchen. Soos ran into the den soon after it, frazzled. “Dude, there’s a bat in the kitchen! It tried to touch me with its little bat fingers!”
“Don’t worry, I got this under control,” Stan said, before he casually reclined back into his chair and nonchalantly handed the task off. “Dipper, take care of it.”
“What?” Dipper asked. “Why can’t Mabel do it?”
“Cause life ain’t fair,” Stan shrugged, unsympathetic. “Now go fight a bat so we can watch TV.”
While Dipper knew it’d be far easier to just hang his head and do as his uncle said, that’s not what happened. Instead, he stood his ground, far more than a little frustrated with how unfairly Stan had been treating lately. “No way, Grunkle Stan!” he firmly refused, standing between his uncle and the TV. “You’re always making me do dumb chores and I’m tired of it! I’m putting my foot down this time!” He did exactly that too, hoping it showed just how much he actually meant it.
The others were all thoroughly convinced as they let out a chorus of intrigued “ooos”. Stan, on the other hand, wasn’t amused.
“I said do it, kid,” he harshly ordered. “Now!”
Even under such a severe command, Dipper did his best not to waver. Instead, he crossed his arms and fixed Stan with a stern glare, one that was returned in full, and then some. Their matching scowls only intensified by the second–
Until Stan’s fierce, downright threatening stare ultimately won out in the end.
“Ok! Ok! I’ll do it,” Dipper relented, defeated. Without another word, he headed for the kitchen, with Mabel, Steven, and Connie not far behind him, curious to watch whatever was about to unfold. “Ugh, stupid chores…” Dipper muttered as he armed himself with a spoon and a saucepan.
“You got this, Dipper!” Steven warmly encouraged. “The good thing about bats is that they’re really small, but then again… they can fly… which means they might be kinda hard to catch…”
“Just remember,” Mabel cut in with what she believed was much better advice. “Bats are more afraid of you than you are of them.” Dipper didn’t really take their well-meaning, misguided help to heart as he took in a deep breath and stepped into the kitchen. Mabel didn’t pay him much mind in favor of thoughtfully correcting herself instead. “Or maybe I’m thinking of ducklings…”
“Um, you guys?” Connie frowned as she watched what was happening in the kitchen. Noisy chaos had already broken out as Dipper tried and failed to wrangle the bat. Not that Steven or Mabel really noticed as they continued their conversation.
“Ducklings are so cute!” Steven exclaimed, smiling.
“Guys-” Connie tried again, only for her growing concerns to be drowned out.
“I know, right?” Mabel cheerfully agreed. “Quack! Quack! Quack!”
For her part, Connie simply rolled her eyes and sighed before opting to go in and help Dipper herself. Between the two of them, they finally managed to chase the bat out of the kitchen through an open window. Still, the ordeal had left Dipper with a few cuts and bruises, which the others helped him clean and dress once the “emergency” was over with.
“Ow, ow!” Dipper hissed in pain as Soos dabbed disinfectant over the cut on his arm.
“You know, Dipper, this would be way faster and easier with my healing spit,” Steven pointed out, giving his hand a generous lick. “This stuff will fix you right up, just ask Connie!”
“Can’t really argue with you there,” Connie chucked, adjusting the empty frames of her glasses.
“Uh, thanks, Steven, but I think I’m good,” Dipper glanced away, blushing.
“Well, ok,” Steven shrugged. “But the offer’s still on the table for if you ever have to chase off another bat or something!”
“Uh… right…” Dipper winced as Mabel finished bandaging the cut on his forehead. “I just don’t get it. Why does Grunkle Stan always pick on me? Think about it! The more painful or difficult the chore is, the more likely it is I’ll have to do it! Why doesn’t he pick on you guys like that?”
“Pfft, what are you even talking about?” Mabel shook her head. “Stan’s not hard on you, silly! He just likes showing tough love sometimes!”
“Yeah, like when he tells me and the Gems that we’re ‘annoying’ and that we’re ‘the worst neighbors ever’,” Steven said, oblivious. “Amethyst says that’s just Mr. Pines’ way of joking around with us! Which means he must love joking around with us because he says that sort of stuff so much!”
“... Sure , Steven,” Dipper deadpanned. “That’s what it means.”
“Dipper, Stan’s personality is just one of life’s great mysteries,” Soos spoke up. “Like whether or not it’s possible to lick your own elbow.”
“I bet you can’t!” Mabel challenged him.
“I bet I can!” Soos began his first attempt as Steven and Mabel cheered him on.
“Lick it! Lick it!” the pair rallied as they followed Soos out of the room. Connie hung back with Dipper, who kept his bitter glare fixed on a portrait of Stan hanging on the nearby wall.
“You sure you’re gonna be ok?” Connie asked him. “I’m sure it's not too late to take Steven up on that healing offer.”
“Huh?” Dipper started. “Oh, no, I’m fine, I just-” He trailed off, sighing as he scowled back up at the photo. “I wish I knew what Grunkle Stan’s problem with me is. The last thing I need is someone else being super hard on me when I already get enough of that back ho–” He sharply cut himself off, ignoring the curious look Connie sent his way as he made a point of clearing his throat. “N-nevermind. Still, it’d be nice if Stan would just ease up on me, just a little, you know?”
“Believe it or not, I sorta do,” Connie said as she took a seat across the table from him. “My mom is pretty hard on me sometimes too. From what I understand, she does it so she can, and I quote, ‘prepare me for the ever-changing demands of an increasingly complex society that I’ll have to eventually face as an educated career woman’. Or something like that.”
“Uh… that’s nice, I guess?” Dipper raised an eyebrow. “But I doubt Stan’s trying to prepare me for anything other than taking on all of the things he doesn’t feel like doing himself.”
Before Connie could say anything to this, Stan suddenly yelled another order from the other room. “The sink’s clogged! Dipper! Get in here and fix it!”
“Ugh, see what I mean?” Dipper simply groaned, far from surprised at this point. After all, he’d come to expect his uncle’s cold contempt by now. And, as far as he could tell and as much as he might have wished otherwise, that wasn’t something that was bound to change anytime soon.
The rain had finally let up enough to allow Mabel, Steven, and Soos to venture outside. They headed towards the woods, and all the while, Soos continued his ill-fated attempt to lick his own elbow, with the kids still cheering him on nonetheless.
“Lick that elbow! Lick that elbow!” Despite their support, it wasn’t long before Soos had no choice but to give up, letting out a sigh of defeat.
“Like the infinite horizon, it is beyond my grasp,” he admitted as Steven and Mabel shared a laugh. The levity didn’t last long, however, as a familiar, devious laugh sounded from the woods nearby.
“What was that?” Steven asked, peering toward the trees.
“Wait,” Mabel paused as the laughter continued. “Is that who I think it is…?”
The group pressed a bit further into the forest, where sure enough, they found the laughter’s source in a clearing not too far away. “Ugh, Gideon?” Mabel groaned from their hiding spot in the surrounding shrubs. “What’s he still doing here?”
“Looks like he’s playing around with some candles?” Steven frowned, confused.
“In the middle of the woods?” Soos shook his head disapprovingly. “Where’s that bear who’s always talking about not starting forest fires when you need him?”
The trio fell silent, leaning in to watch whatever Gideon was doing with his strange setup. In the center of the ring of candles sat a photo of Stan with his eyes crossed out, a sign that was every bit as worrying as the book in Gideon’s hands. None of them could see its cover clearly as Gideon flipped through its weathered pages, intently searching for something.
“You think that combination’s safe in your mind, Stanford?” Gideon grinned twistedly when he finally found the entry he was looking for. “We’ll see what my new minion has to say about that!”
Using his unknown book as a guide, Gideon began to recite something from it–a spell of sorts–in another language entirely. “Triangulum, entangulum. Vene foris dominus mentum. Vene foris videntis omnium!”
From their spot in the woods, Mabel, Steven, and Soos could only watch, bewildered, as the book slipped from Gideon’s hands. His eyes began to glow a blank, bright blue as he doubled over, possibly in pain.
“Whoa, dudes, looks like something’s up with him,” Soos noted, his eyes wide.
“Maybe we should go out and check on him?” Steven asked, unable to hide his concern.
Mabel was more than ready to shoot that idea down when Gideon suddenly collapsed to his knees, letting out an unnerving, indecipherable chant. “ Egassem sdrawkcab. egassem sdrawkcab. Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab!”
As that chant reached its peak, time itself almost seemed to slow to a total stop. Likewise, almost all traces of color drained from the surrounding forest, leaving only dull shades of grey in its place. And yet, as alarming as that already was, things only took a stranger turn as a bright flash suddenly sparked above the summoning circle.
From that spark, a triangular shape began to emerge, filled with stars and traced by bright blue flames on all sides. As a large, single eye opened in the center of that triangle, a laugh , of all things, echoed through the empty air, loud, boisterous, and demented. As the startled trio in the woods hunkered down into hiding, Gideon took a nervous step back as whatever he’d managed to summon took on its full, peculiar form.
A snappy-dressed golden triangle with a mischievous glint in his one and only eye.
“Oh, Gravity Falls, it is good to be back!” he exclaimed in his bright, pitchy voice. “Haven’t seen this old place since I rattled those rocks all those years ago. But I’ll spare the boring details on all that–spoilers, ya know.” With that, he adjusted his top hat and his bowtie before gliding in closer to Gideon, who could only gape up at him in disbelief. ”Name’s Bill Cipher! And I take it you’re some kind of living ventriloquist dummy. Ha! Just kidding! I know who you are, Gideon!”
“W-what are you?!” Gideon squeaked, frightened. “And h-how did you know my name?”
“Oh, I know lots of things!” Bill exclaimed before his voice suddenly dropped, turning deep and ominous. At the same time, countless images rapidly flashed across his flat form, far too quickly to be made out clearly. “LOTS OF THINGS… Hey, look what I can do!” Just as quickly, Bill was back to his usual yellow as he reached a hand out toward a deer grazing at the edge of the clearing. With just a flick of his wrist, each and every one of the doe’s teeth were yanked from its mouth before landing in a pile in Bill’s palm. “Deer teeth!” he cheerfully dumped his prize into Gideon’s hands. “For you, kid!”
“Augh!” Gideon cried, disgusted as he let the deer teeth fall to the ground. “You’re insane!”
“Sure, I am! What’s your point?” With another wave of Bill’s hand, the deer’s teeth glided right back to where he’d gotten them from. “I never did understand why you fleshbags get so worked up whenever I pull that parlor trick. It’s supposed to be charming .”
By now, Gideon’s patience was starting to wear thin. He gathered his nerve, rising to his full (still quite short) height as he boldly voiced his demands. “Listen to me, demon! I have a job for you. I need you to enter the mind of Stanford Pines and steal the code to his safe!”
Mabel, Steven, and Soos all did what they could to suppress a round of startled gasps. To think that Gideon would go this far, summoning a literal demon just to get his hands on the Mystery Shack… It was clear that this time, he was through playing around. This time, he meant business.
Bill, however, simply laughed, clearly not taking Gideon that seriously. “Yeah, sure, I-” He suddenly stopped short, his eye shifting into a glare as he turned away. “Wait… Stan Pines…” He pondered the familiar name as several more images flashed through his form before his eye grew wide in realization. “You know what, kid? You’ve convinced me. I’m sold!” he proclaimed as he turned back to Gideon. “I’ll help you with this, and in return you can help me with something I’ve been working on! We’ll work out the details later.”
“Deal!” Gideon exclaimed without a second thought. Regardless of just how ominous Bill’s unknown “conditions” might have been.
As Bill extended his hand to seal the deal, it erupted into an unnaturally blue blaze. Gideon flinched, hesitating away from the cool fire at first. Until he took the plunge and shook the demon’s hand, determined to get his revenge. No matter what.
“Well, time to invade Stan’s mind! This should be fun!” Bill exclaimed with a snap of his fingers. “Remember: Realityisanillusiontheuniverseisahologramtheclusteriscomingbuygold bye!”
And with that, Bill disappeared in a flash. The second he was gone, color bled back into the world as time picked back up to its normal speed, as if nothing had even happened at all. Still, Gideon let out a maniacal laugh, confident that his sinister schemes were starting to come together at last. The trio hiding in the bushes, meanwhile, couldn’t be any less worried by everything they’d just seen.
“Guys, this is really bad,” Mabel said, frowning. “We can’t let that triangle guy get inside Stan’s mind. Who knows what’ll happen if he does?”
“Dudes, that guy was crazy bonkers creepy!” Soos agreed. “Did you see what he did with those deer teeth? I totally thought I was gonna puke!”
“And the way he just… laughed about it, like it was actually funny,” Steven shuddered. “It was scary. Even if his little top hat and bow tie were kinda cute. But what can we do to stop him?”
“Oh! Oh! I know!” Mabel exclaimed with newfound excitement. “Who better to call to get rid of super evil things like that than the three coolest Gems in Gravity Falls? Well, the only three Gems in Gravity Falls, but still! I’m sure they’d be able to beat that triangle guy, no problem!”
“Yeah!” Steven nodded, only for his smile to quickly fade “Oh, but wait… they’re gone for the day and I don’t know when they’ll be back. And I don’t think we really have a lot of time to wait for them…”
“Dang it!” Mabel huffed. “Well then, I guess we’re gonna have to do this ourselves. To the Mystery Shack!”
“To the Mystery Shack!” Soos and Steven echoed, completely on board. Until-
“Uh, actually, can we maybe stop off for snacks first?” Soos piped up. “You can’t fight a triangle demon on an empty stomach, dudes.”
Steven and Mabel paused, only for a beat, before they both unanimously agreed. “To the Big Donut!” Steven zealously proclaimed as Soos and Mabel followed suit.
“To the Big Donut!”
After handling the problem with the sink, Stan had “rewarded” Dipper by giving him a whole list of other chores that needed to be done around the shack. While Connie had kindly volunteered to help him out with them, Dipper still couldn’t shake the frustration that filled him every time he so much as glanced at his uncle. He gripped his broom just a bit tighter as he swept the floor in the den, sparing an annoyed glance over at Stan as he peacefully napped away in his recliner nearby.
“What is going on in that guy’s head…?” Dipper wondered to himself as Stan mumbled incoherently. He didn’t have time to pursue the question any further, however, before Mabel, Steven, and Soos rushed into the den in a panic.
“Dipper! We gotta help Stan!” Mabel cried. Despite her high volume, Stan didn’t so much as flinch from his steady slumber behind her.
“Wait, what?” Dipper asked, confused. Likewise, Connie stepped out of the kitchen, curious to see what all the fuss was about.
“This evil triangle guy said he’s gonna break into Stan’s mind and steal the combination to his safe!” Soos exclaimed, his mouth full of Burrito Bites. “Also, we stopped for snacks on the way here.”
“We watched Gideon summon him out in the woods,” Steven continued to explain.“They made like, some kind of deal, I think?”
“Ok, ok, slow down,” Connie cautioned. “Are you all sure about what you saw? I know there’s a lot of weird stuff around here, but a triangle guy? That sounds far-fetched, even for Gravity Falls.”
“Wait,” Dipper cut in, pulling the journal out of his vest. “I feel like I’ve seen something like this before…” He briefly flipped through the book before landing on a page he’d only ever skimmed through. Instead of the author’s usual clean script, this entry appeared to have been hastily, anxiously written, with what looked like dried blood splattered onto the parchment. Its content only proved to be even more disturbing as Dipper read it aloud for the others to hear.
“Beware Bill! The most powerful and dangerous creature I’ve ever encountered. This nightmare in disguise will seduce you with never ending flattery until he gets what he wants. Whatever you do, never trust him and never let him into your mind. There is no telling what damage Bill might do. Do not summon at all costs.”
This reading was suddenly interrupted when Stan loudly started tossing and turning about in his sleep. “Grunkle Stan!” Mabel cried, alarmed. Still, none of them could do a single thing when the triangular shadow of Bill Cipher himself appeared on the wall behind Stan. Just as quickly as he’d appeared, he was gone, sinking out of sight and straight into Stan’s mind, just as Gideon had instructed. The effect on Stan was immediate, as his movements turned jerky and erratic. His eyes shot open–eerily, emptily glowing–proving that he was anything but awake in light of whatever the demon might be doing to him.
“Well,” Connie started, bewildered. “I-I guess that proves he’s real after all.”
“Oh no! We’re too late!” Steven exclaimed. “What do we do?”
Mabel quickly found an answer when she grabbed the journal from Dipper and read an excerpt from the next page aloud. “It is possible to follow the demon into a person’s mind and prevent his chaos. One must simply recite this incantation.”
“Oh, this is just great,” Dipper said, scowling. “I spend all day cleaning sinks and fighting bats for Stan and now I have to save him from some crazy brain demon?”
“But we gotta help Mr. Pines, Dipper!” Steven earnestly urged. “If we don’t do something, then who knows what might happen?”
“Gideon might steal the shack!” Mabel fretfully added. “Or worse!”
Without warning, Stan let out another scream against his restless thrashing. If that wasn’t enough to prompt everyone into action, then nothing was.
“Fine,” Dipper begrudgingly agreed. If only because he knew Mabel and Steven would never let him hear the end of it if he didn’t. “Get ready, guys. We’re about to journey into the most horrifying, disturbing place any of us have ever been: our uncle’s mind.”
Despite the determination the kids had for their daring mission, Soos cut in with a curious question. “You think I can take these Burrito Bites into Stan’s brain?” he asked, holding the bag of snacks up. “Thumbs up? Thumbs down?” He paused for a moment, ultimately reaching his decision with a small laugh. “You know what, I’m just gonna bring ‘em.”
Working quickly, the group relied on the journal to help them get everything in order. After dimming the lights and arranging a circle of candles, everyone gathered around Stan, preparing themselves for the daunting task ahead.
“Ok, guys,” Dipper said as he turned through the journal to the incantation. “In order to save Stan, we’re gonna have to follow that dream demon into his mind.”
“I wonder what it’ll be like in there…” Steven mused curiously. “Oh! Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a tiny version of Mr. Pines in there who will take us on a tour? It’d be just like it is here at the shack!”
“Oh my gosh, that would be the cutest thing ever,” Mabel agreed with a delighted smile. “Especially if Tiny Stan sang and danced! I’ve always wanted the real Stan to do that, but he never does ‘cause he says it's ‘too cheesy’.”
“Somehow I seriously doubt that’s how any of this works,” Connie said, frowning.
“Guys, come on,” Dipper cut in. “Stop messing around. The sooner we get in there, the sooner we can get out and be done with this whole thing. ”
“I wonder what Stan is thinking right now,” Soos said. With a small grin, he pulled his boss’ jaw up and down and threw his voice to put words in his mouth. “‘I love Soos like a son!’”
“Soos! This is serious!” Dipper impatiently scolded.
“‘Sorry!’” Soos exclaimed, still pretending to speak through Stan.
“So if we’re finally done wasting time,” Dipper shot the others a disapproving glance. “Then let’s do this.”
Once everyone had placed a hand on Stan’s head as a point of contact, Dipper began to recite the incantation straight from the pages of the journal. “Videntis Omnium. Magister Mentium. Magnesium Ad Hominem. Magnum Opus. Habeas Corpus.” As the spell went on, all of their eyes–and even the gemstone on Steven’s stomach–began to take on the same blue glow as Stan’s. None of them really noticed, however, as Dipper finished the incantation off. “Inceptus Nolanus Overratus. Magister Mentium. Magister Mentium! Magister Mentium!”
A very bright, quick flash filled the room, blowing out every last candle in its wake. And in that flash, the entire group disappeared in the blink of an eye–
Only to find themselves in what felt like another world completely.
Each and every one of them was taken aback by the grayscale dreamscape surrounding them. The air was still and lifeless, without a single speck of color to spare. The same could be said about the barely recognizable Mystery Shack standing before them. The structure was even more dilapidated than usual, hewn and stitched together without any form or order to speak of. Curious, the group moved in closer to it, taking care with each step lest this illusory world fall to pieces all around them.
“Whoa… is this really Stan’s mind?” Mabel asked, eyes wide.
“This is… surreal,” Connie commented, amazed.
“I figured there would be more hot old ladies,” Soos said.
“And I guess there’s no Tiny Mr. Pines after all…” Steven frowned, disappointed.
“Remember everyone,” Mabel said, her tone turning serious. “We’ve gotta look out for the triangle guy.”
“Yeah, look out for the triangle guy!”
The entire group jumped when Bill himself made his arrival, rising up from somewhere below the shack’s porch.
“It’s him!” Soos exclaimed. “It’s the guy!”
“Oh my gosh,” Connie exchanged a dumbfounded glance with Dipper. “He really is a triangle.”
“You leave our uncle’s brain alone, you isosceles monster!” Mabel warned. Her boldness got the better of her as she charged straight for the demon in the hopes of catching him off guard. However, Bill was more than ready for such an attack as he allowed Mabel to leap right into him, hardly caring as she disappeared into his triangular form for a moment before she came tumbling right back out. “Gotcha!” Mabel exclaimed, only to find that her hands were empty. “Wait, what?”
“Ah, Stan’s family. We meet at last,” Bill greeted, tipping his hat. “Question Mark, Shooting Star, Pine Tree, I had a hunch I might bump into you! Oh wow, and Sword Swinger too; we’re really shaking things up this time around, huh?”
The group looked at each other, thrown off by this round of peculiar nicknames. “What are you talking about?” Dipper asked, confused.
“Oh, you don’t know?” Bill asked almost coyly. “Alrighty then, why don’t I lend you a hand ?”
He pointed a finger straight at Dipper, or more specifically, at his left arm. A blast of energy sparked from that finger, and though Dipper didn’t feel a thing, when he looked over, his arm was completely, horrifically gone . He screamed, utterly panicked, though it was quickly drowned out by Bill’s twisted, downright sadistic laughter.
“Aw, don’t get so bent out of shape about it, Pine Tree!” he cheerily exclaimed. “It’s not like this is the last time you’re gonna lose track of that thing anyway. Isn’t foreshadowing just so much fun ?”
“Hey!” Steven suddenly spoke up, appalled. “You can’t do that to him!”
Bill’s eye widened ever so slightly, sparking with newfound interest as he turned his attention over to Steven. “Well, look who else joined this party!” Suddenly, he vanished, reappearing right behind Steven as he slung an arm over his shoulder. “Hey there, Rosebud! How are you and those Crystal Chumps doing?”
“You mean… the Crystal Gems?”
“Well, duh!” Bill rolled his eye. “I’d ask how good ol’ Quartzy is, but that would be pretty redundant, if you catch my drift.”
“Wait, Quartzy? As in… Rose Quartz?” Steven blinked, surprised. “You knew my mom?”
“Boy, did I ever!” Bill chuckled. “Me ‘n Quartzy go waaaaaay back! She sure was something else, let me tell you! But I know you all didn’t come all this way to watch me wallow in nostalgia.” With this, Bill hovered back over to his former spot on the porch. “Instead, why don’t we chat about how you kids are gonna leave and let me go about my business, hm?”
Despite the still-lingering shock over his missing arm, Dipper quickly collected himself upon hearing this. If only to try and show this cunning creature he wasn’t afraid of him–even if he very much was. “Not a chance! What do you want with our uncle’s mind anyway?”
“Oh, just the code to the old man’s safe!” Bill pulled a cane out of thin air, casually spinning it around. “Inside the shack is a maze of a thousand doors representing your uncle’s memories. Behind one of them is a memory of him inputting the code. I just need to find it and Gideon will pay me handsomely!”
“Not if we stop you!” Connie challenged.
“Ha! Fat chance!” Bill scoffed. “I’m the master of the mind. I even know what you’re all thinking about right now!”
“That’s impossible!” Mabel confidently proclaimed. “No one can guess what I’m thinking!”
She was proven wrong as soon as Bill snapped his fingers. In a flash of colorful light, a pair of young men, both clad in the gaudy neon fashion of the 90s, appeared on either side of Mabel.
“Ahhhhh!” she let out a joyful squeal as she beamed up at the pair. “Xyler and Craz from Dream Boy High ?! You two are even dreamier in person, if that’s even possible!”
“Whoa, where are we, bro?” Xyler asked, looking around.
“We must be in heaven, ‘cause I just saw an angel!” Craz pointed at Mabel, smiling.
“Oh please…” Connie groaned, rolling her eyes.
Mabel, however, simply let out another happy scream as she hugged Craz’s leg tight. “I’m never letting go of your leg!”
“Well, this has been a real blast, but I’m afraid I’ve gotta split.” Bill paused for a moment, tapping his “chin” as an idea came to him. “On second thought, so do all of you. So… see ya!”
Before anyone could ask what he meant, Bill suddenly snapped his fingers. In an instant, every last one of them vanished. Still, they could all still somehow hear the demon’s laughter taunting them even as they disappeared.
Mabel gasped as she suddenly reappeared somewhere , letting out a frightened cry as she fell through the open air. Fortunately, she landed in a pair of strong, steady arms–the arms of her “Dream Boys” to be exact.
“Whoa there!” Xyler exclaimed. “Arm throne!”
“An arm throne totally fit for an awesome princess,” Craz added, smiling down at Mabel.
Once again, Mabel squealed as she blissfully reclined back in their arms. “I could stay like this forever…”
“Uh, are you sure about that, dude?” Soos suddenly popped into her field of vision. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it does look super comfy, but we kinda have a few problems on our hands here.”
“Oh yeah?” Mabel sat up, still propped up in the boys’ arms. “Like wha– oh .” She stopped short when she got a better look around. A grayscale, disjointed interior stretched before them, with staircases rising and falling all around. In almost every direction they looked, there were doors, some big, some small, all hiding untold secrets behind them.
Or, if what Bill had told them was true, memories behind them.
“Are we… inside of the mind-Shack thingy?” Mabel wondered, bewildered.
“Radical!” Craz exclaimed, grinning.
“I also think it's radical!” Xyler enthusiastically agreed.
“How’d we end up in here?” Mabel asked Soos.
He shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine, dude. One minute we were outside with the others, and then, like bam ! We’re in here, and Dipper, Steven, and Connie are gone.”
“They’re what ?!” Mabel gasped, hopping down from her perch. She glanced around, sure enough finding that her friends were nowhere to be found. “Oh no! Bill must have split us all up! We’ve gotta find them–and the code to that safe–and fast!”
“Mabel is talking!” Craz exclaimed, duly impressed.
“ So rad!” Xyler nodded, just as excited.
“Where do we even start looking though?” Soos wandered over to one of the doors. “This place is like some sort of bonkers mind-maze-”
He stopped short as he curiously opened the door, only to find a much younger version of Stan, sitting in a jail cell between two rugged inmates. “Jorge, Rico,” Stan smiled as he threw his arms over their shoulders. “You’re the best Colombian prison friends a fella could make.”
“Espero que muera,” Rico said, fixing Stan with a hateful glare.
“Si,” Jorge agreed simply.
“Whoa,” Soos stepped back from the door, surprised. “These doors really are Mr. Pines’ memories!”
“That means one of them’s gotta be the safe code,” Mabel threw another door open. Behind it was yet another memory of a younger Stan, trying his luck at pedaling vacuums as a door-to-door salesman.
“Sir, would you like to buy a Stan-Vac vacuum?” he began his pitch with a flashy grin. “Stan-Vac: It sucks more than anything.” Needless to say, that was more than enough to convince the customer to slam the door right in his face. “Gotta work on that…”
“That’s not it,” Mabel frowned, shutting the door. “This could take a while… But we can’t give up! We’ll find that memory–and everyone else–and then we’ll be out of here in no time! And we’re not gonna let some crazy, polygonal demon stop us!”
“Yeah!” Soos, Xyler, and Craz all cheered in agreement.
“Now,” Mabel smiled, determined as she turned to the next door down the hall. The first of many, many more ahead. “Let’s get to memory-hunting…”
Dipper gasped as he sat up, his right hand darting to his left side for an arm that should have been there, but wasn’t. His heart sank when he realized that hadn’t been a dream–or rather, a nightmare –after all. And neither was the strange space he now found himself in.
“What the…?” he wondered, standing to get a better look at the winding halls and corridors stretching before him. He quickly found he wasn’t entirely alone, however, as he heard a soft groan sound behind him.
“Oh my gosh! Connie!” Dipper exclaimed, running to her side to help her up. “Are you ok?”
“Ugh… Dipper?” Connie winced, resting a hand against her head. “Where are we?”
“I… have no idea,” Dipper admitted. “I’m gonna guess we’re even deeper in Stan’s mind? Looks like Bill separated us from the others too.”
“That sounds about right,” Connie nodded. “It’s probably a lot easier for him if we all have to look for each other on top of that safe combination. But,” she put on a confident smile as she turned to the vast hall ahead of them. “That doesn’t mean we can’t look for both of them at the same time.”
“Right,” Dipper agreed, though his own smile soon faded as he skimmed his hand against a nearby door. “I wonder what the deal with all these is…” Curious, he turned the knob, only to be surprised by a scene of Stan and Amethyst on one of their infamous Revenge Trips inside.
“I thought you said nobody saw you steal those tires!” Stan swerved his car as police sirens blared behind them.
“Hey, how was I supposed to know that place had a security camera!?” Amethyst scoffed. “Just do what you always do when the heat shows up. Floor it!”
“I can do better than that,” Stan smirked, shifting his car into gear. Amethyst roared with laughter as Stan stuck his head out the window, taunting the cops as they fell far behind them. “Try and catch us now, suckers!”
“Well, that was… something,” Connie said, raising an eyebrow. “I guess these doors must represent all of Mr. Pines’ memories. Who knows how many of them there might be?”
“I’m sure there’s plenty of Stan bossing me around,” Dipper scowled. He found himself wishing he still had both arms so he could cross them. “Can’t wait to see more of that.”
“Come on, Dipper,” Connie urged. “I know you’re too happy with Mr. Pines right now, but we can’t just let Bill or Gideon win! Besides, we also need to find the others; for all we know, they could be in trouble somewhere in here.”
“Fine,” Dipper relented, sighing. “But let’s be clear: I’m not doing any of this for Stan.”
“If you say so,” Connie couldn’t help but smirk as she motioned for him to pass her by. He shot her a sharp look, one that only made her coy smile widen, much to Dipper’s annoyance.
“I thought you were on my side with this,” he dryly pointed out.
“I am,” she shrugged, following after him as they headed down the colorless hall together. “Doesn’t mean I still can’t have at least a little fun along the way.”
”Steven…”
“Oh, Steeeeeveeeeen….”
“Steven!”
Steven groaned, slowly opening his eyes to find a trio of silhouettes hanging above him. At first, he thought they were Dipper, Mabel, and Connie. Only for his vision to clear, leaving him shocked at who had actually found him instead.
“Wha–Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl?” he sat up, looking between the trio with wide eyes. “What are you guys doing here?” He glanced past them, almost just as caught off guard by the vast array of doors and stairways that surrounded them. The Gems, however, didn’t seem to be anywhere near as disoriented by any of it.
“We came down to the shack and noticed that you and all your friends were gone,” Garnet explained.
“And we found the journal, opened up to some sort of spell allowing you to enter someone else’s mind,” Pearl continued, frowning. “So we put the pieces together and assumed that you all decided to venture here into Stan’s mind, for some reason.”
“So we decided to roll on in here ourselves and join you guys for whatever weird and wacky thing you’ve got going on this time,” Amethyst finished, smirking as she hung her arms behind her head. “Isn’t that like, super cool of us?”
“Yeah, it is,” Steven allowed himself a relieved smile. “I’m so glad you guys are here! Gideon’s trying to get the code to Mr. Pines’ safe, so he summoned this triangle guy named Bill to come in here and steal it for him. That’s why we followed him in here, to try and stop him, but he-”
“Now, now, Steven,” Pearl cut in, shaking her head. “What did we tell you about making up tall tales like that?”
“Yeah, seriously, a ‘triangle guy’?” Amethyst scoffed. “Get real, dude.”
“B-but it’s true!” Steven protested. “We all saw him! He blasted Dipper’s arm away! He made these two super colorful guys appear for Mabel! And he even said he knew Mom! We’ve gotta-”
He cut himself off when he felt Garnet rest a gentle hand on top of his head. “Steven,” she began, calmly and firmly. “Even if what you saw was real, I’m sure it’s not as serious as you’re making it out to be. But… if it makes you feel better, then we can look around for the combination to that safe.”
“We need to find everyone else too!” Steven insisted, anxiously hugging Garnet’s leg. “I think we were all split up somehow. And this place is huge ; they could be lost in here–or worse! Please, you guys, we have to-”
“Ugh, geez, fine ,” Amethyst groaned, annoyed. “If it’ll get you to stop whining, then we’ll keep an eye out for ‘em.”
Steven pouted as Amethyst passed him by, roughly bumping her shoulder against his. He was more than used to her brand of teasing, but something about this felt… different in a way he couldn’t quite place. A way that he wasn’t entirely sure he liked.
“Come along now, Steven,” Pearl urged, already leading the way ahead. “We’re not going to wait for you if you start to lag behind in here.”
Now that was strange too. On every mission he’d ever been on with the Gems, they’d been nothing but patient with him, knowing he wasn’t quite at the point where he could keep up with them yet. But now… all three of them were acting like they didn’t want him here at all. Like he was a burden instead of an equal.
And the strangest part was Steven had no idea why .
Still, he hoped that by following their lead, he might find out. Just as he hoped he’d find that safe code along with his friends. After all, he’d never had any reason not to trust the Gems before, and as far as he was concerned, he wasn’t about to start now. Even if they were acting a bit odd or off. Even if some small part of his mind was screaming silent warnings at him. Even if his instincts were begging him to see that something about this wasn’t right .
Even if he knew he was already lost before they even began.
Dipper couldn’t hold back a frustrated shout as he tried and failed to open a particularly stubborn door. This wasn’t the first time this had happened since their search had started, to the point that he’d gone as far as kicking a few doors to try in vain to open them. It all added up to make what he viewed as an already aggravating mission even more so. But at least there was one bright side; at least he didn’t have to wander the maze-like halls of the mind shack on his own.
Once again, Connie caught him off guard when she reached forward and opened the door for him. Dipper sighed, looking away as he let out a soft, exhausted, “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” Connie offered him a small, supportive smile. With that, they both turned to see the memory behind the door, showing Stan on a dinner date with Lazy Susan.
“So, uh… your eye is weird,” Stan awkwardly began. “Let’s… let’s talk about that.” Lazy Susan merely let out a loud laugh, and Stan halfheartedly joined in as his thoughts narrated over the memory. “Ugh, this is going terrible. I can’t think of anything to say and she… she looks weird up close. Think of a way out!” Stan’s “way out” came in the form of him standing up from the table and shouting, “Non-specific excuse!” And with that, he shoved everything off the table and took off for his car outside.
“Yeesh,” Connie cringed, swiftly shutting the door.
“Ugh, this is taking forever ,” Dipper said, thoroughly annoyed. “We must have opened at least a hundred doors by now, but we’re still not any closer to finding that code or any of the others.”
“You’re right,” Connie agreed. “But there really is no other way to go about doing this. All we can do is keep going and hope that we stumble across that code before Bill does.”
“Right…” Dipper sighed as he followed after her. It wasn’t long before he stopped short, however, as they passed by a door simply labeled: “Dipper Memories”. “Whoa, hey, Connie, check it out! Memories about me!”
Connie frowned as she watched him reach for the doorknob. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” she said, nodding to the “Keep Out” sign on the door.
“Listen, I just want to know what the old guy really thinks of me.”
“I get that, but that’s not what we’re here for” She caught him off guard when she grabbed his hand and purposefully pulled it away, pulling his focus back on her in the process. “Come on, Dipper, let’s just go,” she urged gently, earnestly. “We still need to find Steven, Mabel, and Soos, remember?”
Though he hesitated for a beat, Dipper ultimately nodded, letting Connie lead the way away from the door. Still, he found himself glancing back at it as his pace slowed, finally coming to a stop once Connie turned the corner ahead of them. He hated to leave her on her own like this, but he had to look. He had to know.
Which was why he turned on his heel, hurried back to the door, and ventured inside of it alone.
What awaited was another hallway, one that was far more narrow than all the rest. Most of the doors were already open here, allowing Dipper to see glimpses of several of Stan’s memories of him. None of them were all too surprising; plenty of familiar scenes of Stan mocking him, criticising him, or barking orders at him lined either side of the hall. Dipper paused at one of the more recent memories, one from only about a week or so ago.
“No buts!” Stan harshly exclaimed as he pointed to a pile of wood in the yard. “Now go and chop that firewood already!” With that, he sent Dipper on his way, though not before adding injury to insult by smacking him on the head with a rolled-up newspaper. From there, Stan returned to his spot on the couch alongside Soos and Amethyst to supervise the chore from a distance.
“Dude, Stan, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Soos began with a concerned frown. “Why are you so hard on Dipper all the time?”
“Yeah, seriously,” Amethyst agreed after wolfing down another empty soda can. “I mean, yeah the kid’s a nerd, but you pick on him like, a ton . Can’t say it isn’t funny though, ‘cause it totally is.”
From his spot at the door, Dipper rolled his eyes, though he did lean in closer to hear more as Stan began to explain. “Listen, you two. I’m gonna let you in on something.”
“What, about how you wet the bed until you were like, thirteen?” Amethyst smirked. “Too late; you already let that one slide to me, Stan.”
“N-no! And I never said anything about that!” Stan exclaimed, flustered. “Just… ugh, look. You really wanna know what I think?”
At first, Stan dropped his voice down to a whisper that only Soos and Amethyst could hear. But once Dipper was able to clearly make out what his uncle was saying, he quickly wished he couldn’t. “ The kid’s a loser. He’s weak! He’s an utter embarrassment! I just wanna get rid of him.”
That was all Dipper needed to hear. In one fell swoop, every last one of his suspicions, his fears , had been all but confirmed. He wasn’t sure what else he’d expected to find here, but he hadn’t thought he’d hear Stan say it so bluntly, so plainly. And as much as it might have hurt–and god, did it hurt –if nothing else, at least now, he finally knew.
He knew just how much his own uncle didn’t care about him. He never had and never would.
“Um, so,” Steven cleared his throat. He’d been trying to start a conversation with the Gems for a while now, but strangely, none of them seemed all that interested in talking. “How’d that mission you guys just got back from go?”
“It was fine,” Garnet said shortly, simply.
“Yes,” Pearl agreed. “It went very smoothly with just the three of us.”
Steven flinched under the withering, almost critical look Pearl sent his way. Amethyst only managed to double down on that with what she had to say next. “I bet this mission would be a lot easier if it were just the three of us too.”
Steven shrunk back, unsure of what to even say as he fell to the back of the group. This was just one of several cold comments he’d gotten from the Gems since they found him earlier, and each one only stung more than the last. He’d seen each of his guardians in a bad mood before, but he’d never seen anything like this from any of them before. So much scorn, so much contempt, so much disdain, all aimed solely at him. And even worse yet, he had no idea what to do about any of it.
He didn’t try striking another conversation after this. Instead, he followed after the Gems in solemn silence, joining them in briefly opening and closing doors in search of the safe combination. After a while, Steven noticed that the Gems were staying true to their word about leaving him behind as they pressed further ahead into the halls at a quick pace. Not that he minded the distance that much–especially when he happened upon one intriguing memory in particular.
Steven was surprised when he opened a seemingly random door, only to find his mother on the other side of it. Rose stood across from a younger Stan in dark space Steven didn’t recognize. The pair fixed each other with a sharp set of steadfast scowls and when Rose spoke first, Steven was taken aback by just how serious she sounded. A far cry from the gentle warmth he’d heard from her tape just a few nights ago.
“I can’t—I wont’t let you do this,” she said, shaking her head. “We need to stop this thing from causing any more harm than it already has-”
“So what? You’re gonna try and stop me, pinky? Is that how this is gonna be?!” Stan bristled in raw, genuine anger. Though exactly where that anger was coming from, Steven had no idea.
“...I’m sorry, but… yes,” Rose sighed, but the determination in her voice was more than clear. “I’ll do whatever I have to keep you from reopening it. It’s the least I can do for him after… after everything.”
Steven leaned a bit forward, curiosity practically overwhelming him. He had no idea what either of them were talking about, who the “him” in question might’ve been, why both of them were so upset. But if he kept on watching this mysterious memory unfold, maybe he might just be able to fill in all of the holes in a story he’d never known anything about until now.
“B-but you don’t understand, I-”
“No, YOU don’t understand!” Rose fiercely cut Stan off. “I’ve given up so much to keep this planet safe; I won’t let anything happen to it as long as I’m around! We should have never built this thing in the first place, but it's too late to take that back now. But it's not too late to stop the very worst from happening. Even if… even if that means we’ll never see Fo-”
Steven nearly jumped out of his skin when the door suddenly slammed shut, starkly cutting the memory off. He glanced up to find Garnet’s hand resting against it, barring him from seeing any more. Her expression was unreadable as he stared down at him, a bizarre, almost golden glow reflecting from her glasses.
“What do you think you’re doing, Steven?” she asked, her voice low and stern.
Steven swallowed hard as he backed away from the door. “I-I… I was just-”
“Just sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong?” Amethyst chimed in, leaning out from behind Garnet. “Better be careful, Steven. You might end up seeing something you’re not supposed to.”
“Uh… like what?” Steven dared to ask, even though he knew he probably shouldn’t.
Pearl stepped up to stand alongside Garnet as all three Gems shifted into a set of smiles, unnaturally wide and eerie to the point that Steven took another step back from them. As they pressed in after him, he wondered if they could hear the sound of his heart pounding in his chest. If they could tell just how frightened they were truly making him.
“You really want to find out?” Pearl asked, her twisted grin deepening.
“I…y-yes. Yes, I do.” Steven squared his shoulders, putting on as brave of a face as he could. He’d finally reached his breaking point; as far as he was concerned, enough was enough. “I want to know why you guys have been so weird all day. What’s going on with you three? Why aren’t you acting like yourselves?!”
The Gems were silent for a moment, but their wicked smiles still remained as they shared a low, unnerving laugh. “Aw, that’s a shame,” Garnet sneered. “I thought for sure you would have been able to figure it out by now.”
“Your mom used to be able to see right through me back when we used to play these kinds of games,” Amethyst let out a haughty, playful chuckle.
“But it looks like you’re nowhere near as bright as she was,” Pearl finished, grinning gleefully. “Are you, Rosebud ?”
Steven froze, his eyes wide as he watched the Gems come together, their forms fading into nothing more than pale light that soon took on an all-too familiar shape. The shape of a triangle, to be exact.
Bill let loose a wild laugh as he shifted back into his usual, singular form. That laughter only turned louder and more teasing when he caught sight of the utterly shocked look on Steven’s face. “I-it’s you!” he exclaimed, aptly alarmed.
“No, duh, kid, who else would it be?” Bill proudly adjusted his bowtie. “And here I thought I’d be a bit rusty after all these years, but nope! I’ve still got just as much of a knack for pulling off a few convincing Crystal Chump impressions now as I did back then, if I do say so myself.”
As confused as Steven was by that, he didn’t let that get the better of him. He knew all too well that a threat was floating right in front of him, which was why he held his arm out defensively in front of him. Unfortunately, his shield was just as stubborn about showing up as ever, even now, when he needed it most. “W-what do you want with me?” he asked, eyeing the demon nervously.
“Aw, ease up, Rosebud!” Bill encouraged as he hovered a quick circle around Steven. “I just wanna chat! You like chatting with your friends, don’t ya?”
“Uh, yeah, with my friends ,” Steven winced away from him. “But not with bad guys like you!”
“Bad guy?” Bill asked, feigning surprise. “That’s a little harsh, don’t ya think, Rosebud?”
“No, it’s not,” Steven sternly asserted. “You’re working with Gideon to help him steal the Mystery Shack! You blasted Dipper’s arm off for no reason! And you pretended to be the Gems just to trick me! All of that sounds pretty bad to me.”
“Yeesh, kid, don’t take it all so personally,” Bill shrugged, unconcerned. “I’m just messing around–that’s what I do. Now, your mom? She got my sense of humor right off the bat. Do you think someone as ‘good’ as Quartzy would have hung around with me if I was really as ‘bad’ as you think I am?”
Steven hesitated when he heard this, unsure of what to think. “You… really were friends with my mom?” he asked, uncertain. Because if it were true, then the Gems would have brought Bill up at least once… right?
“ Good friends,” Bill assured, and he sounded surprisingly earnest. At least as earnest as someone like him could be. “And you know, Rosebud, we could be friends too, if you’d like! I’m bound to be a much better pal for you than any of those Crystal Chumps anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t act like you haven’t noticed; the way they treat you like you’re just some dumb kid, like they’re someone they need to babysit instead of a true, blue member of the team?”
“You mean like how you treated me while you were pretending to be them?” Steven accused, crossing his arms.
“Well, yeah, but was I really that far off?” Bill asked. To prove his point, his flat surface began projecting more than a few moments of the Gems counting Steven out or leaving him behind. Moments that stung far more than he’d like to admit. “Face it, kid. They don’t really see you as one of them, and really, who can blame ‘em? See, most space rocks like them come outta the ground primed and ready to go into any fight, but you? You had to start from square one with those powers of yours. And I bet you still haven’t gotten the hang of them either, right?”
“Well…” Steven looked down at his feet. “I-I mean… I have healing spit and I can sometimes summon a bubble and my shield, but I-”
“But you’re still waaaaaay behind all the rest of those chumps,” Bill cut in. “Who knows, Rosebud? At the rate you’re going, you might never catch up…”
Steven tensed at such a dreadful thought, though it certainly wasn’t one he was a stranger to. How many restless nights had he spent, wondering when his time would finally come, when he’d finally turn into the Crystal Gem he always longed to be? How long would it take for him to even come close to living up to his mother’s lofty legacy? How much would he have to struggle just to stand alongside a team he knew might never truly be a part of?
But then, as if he was reading his mind, Bill continued. “Still, it doesn’t have to be like that…”
“It… doesn’t?” Steven blinked, stirring himself out of his own worrying, racing thoughts.
“Nope,” Bill pulled out his cane and leaned against it. “Being one of the last-remaining guardians of an entire planet is an awfully big burden, but who says it has to be your burden, Rosebud? I mean, think about it; you’re just a kid. These are the best years of your life and you deserve to enjoy them instead of always being dragged around on big, life-threatening missions, don’t you think?”
“Um… well, I mean… I never really thought about-”
“About any other options? Well, you’ve got ‘em, kid!” Bill brightly proclaimed. “Or at least you could if you let me help you out. All I’d need is a little something from you in return. So…” He held a hand out, ignoring the way Steven flinched when blue flames sparked to life over it. “What do ya say, Rosebud? Why don’t you let your new friend make all your ‘magical destiny’ woes disappear–once and for all?”
Needless to say, Steven had plenty of questions, but before he could ask any of them, Bill suddenly started ringing . The demon himself seemed caught off guard by the intrusion as his eye twitched and his form briefly flashed a sharp shade of red. Without warning he spun away from Steven to answer the “call” that was coming in with a tap of his bowtie.
“ WHAT?! ” he growled down the screen that appeared below his tie.
On that screen was none other than Gideon, eagerly anticipating the latest news from his so-called “minion”. “Bill! Did you find the memory with the combination yet?”
“Geez, hold your horses, short stack,” Bill rolled his eye, annoyed. “I’ll take care of it later. I’m in the middle of something waaaaay more important than some silly old safe code.”
“More important?!” Gideon scoffed in disbelief. “What, prey tell, could possibly be more important than-”
“Oh wow, look at that, gotta go,” Bill boredly brought the conversation to a hasty end. “See ya!” He abruptly hung up before Gideon could get another word in edgewise. “Pesky little freak. Now, where we were, Rosebud?” he asked, turning back to Steven–
Only to find that Steven was gone .
Even so, Bill couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, what do you know, Quartzy?” he mused as he eagerly began to give chase through the colorless halls. “Maybe your little brat isn’t as boring as I thought he was…”
After everything he’d heard earlier, Dipper couldn’t find much of a reason to stay in Stan’s mind any longer than he already had. Any dwindling desire he had to help his uncle in any way burnt out entirely the second he saw that last memory. All he wanted to do now was find the others and find a way out of here.
And as for what might happen to Stan, honestly, Dipper couldn’t really care less anymore.
Still, finding a way out would have been a lot easier if the mind-shack wasn’t a maze in and of itself. After countless twists and turns, he still hadn’t caught sight of a single sign of anyone else. His fruitless search felt like it was set to go on forever–until his foot happened to catch on something, sending him tumbling to the ground.
“Ugh, what now…?” Dipper glared back at what had tripped him up. He found a rug that had been shoved aside in his fall, revealing the hatch to another door that had been tucked away underneath it, built into the floor. While Dipper didn’t really care to see any more of Stan’s memories, his curiosity ultimately got the better of him as he decided to take a quick peek behind this bizarrely-placed door.
This memory was a short and simple one, featuring Stan in his office. In his hand was the deed to the Mystery Shack, which he carefully placed inside of his safe. “ There ya go,” he said, shutting the door. “And now to input the code. 13, 44, and finally-”
The memory door fell shut as its handle slipped out of Dipper’s grasp. “Oh my gosh!” he gasped. “Here it is! The safe combination! I can’t believe I found it-”
“Neither can I!”
Dipper let out a frightened cry as he spun around to find none other than Bill casually hovering right beside him. The demon simply let out a laugh at his alarm, hardly seeming to care when Dipper rushed to protectively stand before the door on the floor. “W-what do you want?!” he asked far more anxiously than he would have liked.
“What do I want?” Bill echoed, scoffing. “Haven’t you been paying attention, kid? What I want is that code sitting right behind you there. Now, I could always just do this the boring way. You know, where I pass you by without any effort at all, snag that memory, and there’d be nothing you could to do to stop me.”
To prove his point, Bill seamlessly teleported behind Dipper before he pulled the entire door from the ground with just a flick of his wrist. “Wait, no!” Dipper reached for it, panicking. Only for Bill to yank it high out of his reach.
“What’s the matter, Pine Tree?” Bill asked, spinning the door on his finger. “I thought you were mad at ol’ Fez. Why are you suddenly so set on trying to save his skin after everything he said about you?”
“I-I’m not!” Dipper exclaimed before he could think better of it. “I mean–I’m just… Stan isn’t-”
“Well? Make up your mind, kid!” Bill urged. “Your uncle’s sure made his mind up about you it seems, but you already know aaaaaall about that, right?”
“D-don’t-” Dipper started, tensing up. The last thing he wanted to hear was any of that again, but of course, Bill was all too happy to remind him.
“Now, what did he say again? That you’re weak , an embarrassment ? That he just wants to get rid of you? I mean, I can’t really blame him for being right, but you sure can! After all, it’s only fair you’d want a little payback after how he’s been treating you lately.”
“Payback?” Dipper asked, not following. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, nothing too crazy,” Bill assured with a nonchalant wave of his hand. “Heck, you don’t even have to do anything really! Here’s how it’ll go: I go ahead and take the memory of this combination and you just stand there and look the other way. Nice and easy, right, Pine Tree?”
Dipper bristled when he heard this “plan”, quickly remembering exactly who he was dealing with here. “Yeah,” he scoffed, his remaining hand curling into a fist at his side. “Nice and easy for you to go off and hand that combination over to Gideon so he can steal the deed to the shack! I know what you’re up to, and I’m not about to fall for it! The journal said to never trust you and I-”
“Oh yeah, ‘cause that dusty old journal is soooo reliable,” Bill deadpanned, rolling his eye. “Listen, kid, that book you found was written by a certified crackpot. Take it from me, I know– knew him well; really well.”
“Y-you did?” Dipper started, suddenly overwhelmed with curiosity. With questions he almost asked… until he caught himself, until he remembered every claim the author had made about Bill. A monster made up of nothing but deception and lies.
“Sure, but who cares about any of that right now?” Bill brushed the matter off anyway. “Let’s get back to what really matters here: making your uncle regret every harsh word and annoying chore he’s ever sent your way!”
“I… I don’t know…” Dipper said, looking away. As much as he hated to admit it, what Bill was suggesting did sound at least a little tantalizing. Especially when he thought about what Stan had said, about how, even before that, he’d treated him like he was a failure, like he was worthless, like he was the weakest link their family had to offer. He’d not only treated him like that, he’d made him feel like that.
So who was to say Stan didn’t deserve to feel that way, just this once?
Bill continued that same line of thinking aloud as he smoothly glided past Dipper, knowing he had him right where he wanted him. “What’s the harm of letting your uncle take a bit of a fall? Wouldn’t it be soooo refreshing to see him have a rough time instead of you? Wouldn’t it be nice to watch him be taken down a peg, just a little, so you can finally-”
“Stop,” Dipper suddenly cut him off. He stiffened as he closed his eyes, taking in a sharp breath as he tried to bite back the guilt that swelled through him when he said, “Just… just take it.”
That should have been the end of it. It should have been easy, no matter how wrong it might’ve felt. Except–
“Dipper?”
“Connie?!” Dipper gasped when he found that, sure enough, there Connie was, standing at the end of the nearby fall. Exactly how long she’d been there, he had no idea, but from the shock taking shape on her face, clearly, it’d been long enough.
“What are you doing?” she demanded, stepping closer.
“I… I was just-”
“Oh, don’t worry, Sword Swinger!” Bill chimed in, popping up in the space between the two of them with the memory door still in hand. “Pine Tree here was just in the middle of handing over the code to Stan’s safe over to me. Isn’t that just so swell of him?”
Connie started when she heard this, completely taken aback. “You what ?!” she peered past Bill, looking at Dipper in disbelief.
“No, Connie, it’s not like that,” Dipper quickly tried to clarify. “I was only-”
“Anyway,” Bill interrupted as he flew high above them both. “As much as I’d love to stick around and watch you two nerds duke it out, I’ve got places to be and codes to cash in. Thanks again for all your help , Pine Tree!”
With that, Bill rushed off down the nearest hall, taking the memory of the code along with him. As fast as he was going, neither Dipper or Connie could hope to catch up with him as he disappeared around a corner. Not that one of them even really wanted to.
“Please tell me he was lying,” Connie spun back around to face Dipper. “There’s no way you’d ever actually give him the code… right?”
Dipper simply glared away from her, not answering. He didn’t really need to either; his silence alone was more than enough to fill in the gaps for Connie. “Seriously, Dipper?!” she sharply exclaimed. “What were you thinking?! You know Bill’s just going to hand that code over to Gideon and once he gets it, Mr. Pines will lose the shack!”
“Yeah, I do know that,” Dipper surprisingly, bitterly agreed. “And you know what? I don’t care . And you wouldn’t either if you’d seen what I had. Stan’s always picked on me and now I know why; he hates me!”
“I’m sure he doesn’t-”
“He does . He basically said so himself in one of his memories. Which is why I’m not helping him, not this time.”
“Yeah, no, obviously not,” Connie scoffed. “Instead, you just go and help the literal demon we came here to stop! I feel like you just don’t understand how bad that-”
“No, you don’t understand!” Dipper snapped, frustrated. “Stan never cuts me any slack on anything I do, he never lets up on ordering me around, he never even bothers acting like he cares about me! You have no idea what that feels like!”
Connie fell into stark silence when she heard this. She looked away from him, rubbing her arm as she quietly muttered, “I have some idea…” She sighed, letting her former anger fill back in as she shook her head. “Still, none of that makes what you did right. You can’t just sell out your entire family just because of what you thought your uncle said about you. You’re not “getting even” with him; you’re just being selfish !”
“You can call it whatever you want,” Dipper coldly turned away from her. If only to hide the growing remorse on his face that he wasn’t so sure he’d be able to suppress otherwise. “It’s too late now anyway.”
For a long moment, all Connie could do was stare at him, dumbfounded and disappointed. As much as she might hate to admit it, she was just wasting precious time here. His mind was made up, every bit as much as hers was. “Maybe it’s too late for you ,” she turned her back on him. “But it’s not too late for the rest of us.” Without another word, she headed off down the hall, leaving Dipper behind.
Only in the empty silence that followed did the weight of what he’d just done start to sink in. And under that weight, suddenly any reasons he might’ve had to justify it didn’t seem to make sense anymore. Suddenly, he realized, it was indeed far too late, to stop Bill, to stop Gideon, to stop any of this.
Suddenly, in the colorless shadows of the mind of the uncle he’d just betrayed… Dipper had never felt more alone.
Connie wasn’t sure if she was fast on her feet or if luck was on her side today. Still, it didn’t take her long to realize she was close to catching up to Bill when she heard his loud, unmistakable voice ringing out from a nearby hall.
“Y’ello?” he greeted upon answering yet another call from Gideon.
“Bill!” he snapped, clearly still fuming from being hung up on earlier. “My patience is wearin’ mighty thin! Do you have that combination or not?”
“Yeesh, relax,” Bill said, pulling the memory door into view. “I got it right here.”
“Perfect!” Gideon exclaimed, grinning. “Now, give it to me and we’ll finish our bargain.”
From her hidden vantage point behind the nearest corner, Connie knew she had to do something, and fast. Fortunately, she found a solution just in time, in the form of a decorative ax hanging from the wall next to her. As she took it from its perch, she knew painfully well she’d only have one shot at this; which meant she had to make it count.
“Finally!” Bill exclaimed before referring back to the memory behind the door. “It’s–you got a pen there? It’s 13, 44-”
Just before he could read the final number off, an ax slammed straight into the door, sending it careering out of Bill’s grasp. Its short journey through the air came to an end when it collided with a nearby wall, where the wooden door–and the coveted memory hiding behind it–both shattered to pieces.
Bill spun around, his eye blown wide with shock that swiftly shifted to fury the second he spotted where that ax had come from. “Whoa,” Connie let out an incredulous laugh, quite surprised herself. “I can’t believe I actually did that. Much less that it actually worked .”
Gideon, on the other hand, perfectly matched Bill’s stunned fury. “The combination! It’s gone!” he exclaimed, quickly turning his frustration back on his “minion”. “The deal’s off!”
“Wait!” Bill protested, suddenly panicking. “No! Wait!”
“I should’ve known this wasn’t gonna work!” Gideon snapped, scowling. “I’m switchin’ to plan B!” With that, the screen on Bill’s flat surface abruptly shut off. In turn, the rest of his triangular body began to crumble like broken glass. It reformed just as quickly, though this time, in a sharp shade of scarlet red to match the raw rage filling the demon’s blackening eye.
“SWORD SWINGER!” Bill practically screamed as he charged over to her. Connie stumbled back, still unsure of why he was calling her that, though that was the least of her concerns right now. “Do you have ANY idea what you just cost me?!”
Despite her nerves, Connie steadied herself before her fear could get the better of her. “W-well, whatever it was,” she began as firmly and as curtly as she could. “It looks like you’re not getting it now.”
“Oh, wow, you’re sooooo clever , kid,” Bill harshly scoffed. “I’d almost say I was wrong about you being the least interesting one out of all four of you Mystery Twerps. If there wasn’t about to be one less of you after I tear your molecules apart for that little stunt you just pulled!”
As soon as she saw piercing blue flames flicker over both of Bill’s open palms, Connie didn’t doubt that threat. But by now, she’d managed to back herself against a wall, leaving her without much in the way of an escape.
Fortunately though, she wouldn’t need one.
Instead, a sudden battle cry sounded just as Bill threw his flames down. Connie didn’t even have time to glance over before someone barreled straight into her just in time, knocking her out of the way. They both landed safely on the ground some distance away, allowing Connie to see exactly who her unexpected savior was.
“Mabel?!” she exclaimed, surprised.
“Connie!” Mabel pulled her into a tight hug before she could even properly sit up. “Are you ok?”
“I’m fine,” Connie couldn’t help but chuckle as she returned the hug. “Thanks to you.”
“All right!” Xyler cheered as he popped into view behind Mabel. “Mabel to the rescue!”
“She’s rad and fantastic!” Craz chimed in alongside him. “She’s rad-tastic!”
“Oh, great,” Connie deadpanned as Mabel helped her up. “They’re still here.”
“Mabel?” Soos called as he rounded the corner. He breathed a sigh of relief when he spotted the girl, who had run on ahead just a few moments ago. “There you are, hambone! And you found Connie too! Oh.” He stopped short, eyes wide with alarm when he noticed Bill hovering nearby. “A-and Bill too, I guess. Uh… nice?”
“That’s it!” Bill snapped, angrier than ever after this intrusion. “I’ve had it with you annoying meatskins getting in my way! You think you’ve got the upper hand now that the stupid combination memory is gone? Well, that’s only ‘cause you haven’t seen me WHEN I’M MAD !”
Mabel, Connie, Soos, and even the dream boys struggled to keep their bearings as the ground suddenly started to rumble beneath them. As Bill brought his hands up, the floor rose up right along with it, revealing what he’d conjured underneath of it: a massive stone effigy of Stan’s head. As it got ever higher, the black and white halls of the mind shack soon gave way to a dense starscape. Not that the change in scenery offered any of them much comfort as Bill grew to tower dangerously over them all.
“So I guess he gets really mad when he’s mad,” Soos noted stiffly to the startled girls beside him.
That seemed to be exactly the case as Bill leered over them, more than ready for the violent onslaught he was about to unleash. “EAT NIGHTMARES!”
Steven wasn’t sure how long he’d been running. He did know he’d lost track of Bill a while ago, but he still didn’t want to stop so long as his friends were still missing somewhere in the mindscape. And he had all the more reason not to stop after the downright unnerving conversation he’d had with Bill earlier.
He tried his best not to think about any of that as he navigated through the mind shack’s twisting halls. Despite his best efforts, he still hadn’t spotted a sign of any of the others, to the point that he was starting to wonder if he’d ever find them at all. As distressed as he was, he barely even noticed one of the friends he was trying to find until he’d almost passed him by completely.
“Dipper?” Steven gasped, stopping short. He spun around, sure enough finding Dipper sitting against a wall, his knees hugged to his chest with his face buried in them. He did glance up, however, when he realized he wasn’t alone anymore.
“S-Steven!” he exclaimed, surprised. It wasn’t lost on Steven when he hastily wiped his face dry, as if he’d been crying for some reason. “What are you doing here?”
“Uh, looking for you and everyone else,” Steven frowned as he took a seat next to him. “Are you ok? You look like you’re… kind of upset about something…”
Dipper sighed, running a hand through his hair as he looked away. “To be honest? No, I’m not ok. I… I messed up, Steven. I messed up really badly and made a huge mistake, all because I was mad at Stan.”
“Aw, come on,” Steven encouraged, resting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure whatever you did wasn’t that bad-”
“I basically handed the memory of the safe combination over to Bill.”
“...Ok, that is pretty bad,” Steven couldn’t help but agree. “B-but maybe we can still fix this! If we can catch up to Bill before he gives the code to Gideon, then-”
“I appreciate the thought, Steven,” Dipper said as he got up from his spot on the floor. “But it’s probably already way too late by now. I thought getting even with Stan would feel good after how he treated me, but now I only feel even worse . Connie was right,” he sighed again as he lightly leaned against a nearby door. “I really am selfish…”
While Steven wanted to protest that, he didn’t get a chance to. Instead, anything he planned on saying fell away when Dipper accidentally leaned a little too heavily on the door behind him, unintentionally pushing it open. Curious, both boys peered inside to see what memory might await.
“Aw, this again?” Dipper huffed at the sight of the same memory he’d seen earlier. He scowled as he watched Stan order him to chop firewood before he coldly condemned him all over again.
“He’s a loser. He’s weak. I just wanna get rid of him,” Stan said, every bit as callously as he had before. Steven frowned as he watched the way Dipper bristled at these comments, ready to close the door so he wouldn’t have to listen to them any more. Until…
“Heh, yeah. Those were all things people said about me when I was a boy.”
“Huh?” Dipper pulled the door back open. He exchanged a surprised glance with Steven as they both leaned in to hear more.
“It was terrible,” Stan went on. “I was the biggest wimp on the playground!”
Suddenly, another door right behind the boys creaked open to reveal another memory. This one featured Stan as a child, being pelted in the face by a ball thrown by bullies. He ran off in tears, embarrassed in a way that neither of them could ever imagine the Stan they knew being.
“So one summer, my pop signs me up for boxing lessons.” Another door swung open, showing Stan taking those lessons and losing as his father stoically watched from the sidelines. “It was even worse than the school yard!” The boys winced as they watched Stan take a brutal swing straight to the face. “Y’know, at the time I thought my pop was trying to torture me.”
Yet another door opened, revealing Stan as a teenager, waiting in line for the movies. “But wouldn’t you know it? The old man was doing me a favor all along!” Suddenly, behind Stan, a shady man walked up to a young woman and began trying to snatch her bag away from her.
“Gimme that bag!”
“Help! My purse! Help!”
That was more than enough to prompt Stan into action. “Left hook!” he cried, spinning around. He landed a strong uppercut to the thief’s jaw, knocking him out cold. The surrounding crowd erupted into cheers while the girl rewarded him with a grateful kiss on the cheek, much to his delight.
“Geez, Stan,” Amethyst chuckled back in the first memory. “You sounded like you were a major loser back in the day. Like, even more than you are now, if that’s even possible.”
Stan shot her a look but ultimately took her teasing in stride. “Yeah, well that’s exactly why I’m so hard on Dipper,” he concluded. “I don’t want him to be a loser like I was. I’m trying to toughen him up. So when the world fights, he fights back.”
“Do you think it's working?” Soos asked.
Stan simply grinned as he nodded over at Dipper, who finally managed to chop the block of wood he’d been working on for a while now. “I-I did it!” he exclaimed with a small, triumphant grin. “Yes!”
“He’s really comin’ along!” Stan’s smile turned a touch warmer. “When push comes to shove, I’m actually proud of him. Just don’t ever tell him I said that. His head is big enough as it is.”
Outside of the memory, Dipper found himself sharing his uncle’s smile. He’d never really heard Stan say anything like that before, much less about him. But to know he’d been wrong, that his uncle actually did care about him, that he’d been trying to help him grow and come into his own all along… it changed everything .
And yet… for as uplifting as it all may have been… it also only served to make him feel even worse for what he’d done.
“Aw, Dipper! Did you hear that?!” Steven brightly exclaimed, grabbing him by the shoulder. The suddenness of it startled Dipper to the point that he stumbled forward–straight through the threshold of the door and into the memory itself.
He froze when he caught himself, realizing three new sets of eyes were resting on him. Back on the other side of the door, Steven gasped, his hands covering his mouth out of shock. Strangely though, Stan didn’t seem to be as surprised as either of the boys were.
“Whoa, kid, what are you doing here?” Stan frowned as he looked between this Dipper and the one that belonged in this memory. “Looks like you’re missing something there. Let’s fix that up.” All Stan needed to do was point at Dipper’s left side and then, in an instant, his arm reappeared, as if Bill had never blasted it away to begin with.
“W-what the-” He grabbed his returned wrist to confirm it truly was back after all. “How did you do that?”
“Word to the wise, kid,” Stan smirked. “We’re in the mind! You can do whatever you can imagine in here.” To prove his point, he conjured a can of Pitt Cola out of thin air before taking a sip.
“Huh. Well how about that?” Dipper smiled, glancing back at Steven. Their relief was short-lived, however, as a loud crash sounded from somewhere else inside of the mind shack. Followed by a set of worryingly familiar screams.
“Oh my gosh!” Steven cried, alarmed. “Connie, Mabel, and Soos! They sound like they’re in trouble!”
“It looks like you were right, Steven,” Dipper turned to him, resolved. “There might just be a way to fix this after all. And it starts by stopping Bill. Come on!” He stepped out of the memory, grabbing Steven by the hand as they raced down the hall together to do what they could to turn this around. To save their friends from perhaps the most dangerous, cunning foe they’d had to face yet.
“Huh,” Stan grinned to himself as he watched his nephew run headfirst into the fray with all of the courage he only wished he’d had when he was his age. “Fighting back.”
“One nightmare, coming up!” Bill snarled from his spot high above his foes. With no way to escape and no way to fight back, Connie, Mabel, and Soos could only huddle close and anticipate the worst when it came to the demon’s wrath.
“Nightmare?” Soos frowned. “Hope it's not that British dog man I’m always dreaming about…”
Of course, at that exact moment, the very dog man in question appeared right next to him, cockney accent and all. “‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello! Who’s crike for a stick in the pudding?” he exclaimed, poking Soos with his cane.
“Ah!” he screamed, taking cover behind the girls. “It’s everything I’ve ever feared!”
“You’re next!” Bill exclaimed, fiercely setting his sights on Xyler and Craz.
“Cool! We’re next!” Craz grinned as he and Xyler obliviously began to dance. Their partying came to a quick end, however, when Bill blasted them both off the platform. In the empty void of space surrounding it, the already illusory pair burnt up before dissolving away entirely.
“My dream boys!” Mabel cried, distraught over their demise.
Connie, on the other hand, was far less upset to see the pair go. “Finally…” she said, smirking. That smile didn’t linger long when Bill turned his attention on her and Mabel as fierce blue flames began to intensely burn over both of his hands.
“And last but not least, you two .” He raised those flames even higher, ready to bring them down upon the girls in a deadly torrent. In the face of their impending doom, Mabel and Connie clung tightly to each other, unable to do much else.
At least until help arrived right when they needed it most.
“Hey, Bill!” Dipper called as he flew up to the platform. Steven glided in alongside him, offering the demon a teasingly cheery wave.
“WHAT?!” Bill started at their sudden arrival.
“Think you could give me a hand ?” Dipper taunted as he took his opportunity to get even. Making good on Stan’s advice, all he needed to do was imagine a powerful laser blasting from his eyes and it happened, shooting one of Bill’s arms clean off. The furious shriek the demon let out was only cut off as a familiar pink shield slammed straight into his eye courtesy of Steven.
“Wow!” He exchanged a smile with Dipper. “I wish it was that easy to summon all of the time!”
“Steven! Dipper!” Mabel shouted up at the pair, relieved.
“Guys, we just learned you can conjure whatever you can conceive in Grunkle Stan’s mindscape!” Dipper informed as he and Steven hovered down to their level.
“What?” Connie raised an eyebrow, confused.
“Just think of cool fighting stuff and it’ll happen,” Dipper clarified. “Like this!” He swiftly aimed another blast at the British dog man, finally ending his reign of terror over Soos.
“Heh, he’s dead now,” he said, letting out a relieved laugh.
“What?!” Bill asked, his eye wide with alarm. “Who told you that?! Don’t listen to him!”
“We can do anything?” Mabel asked with an eager smile. “Like have kittens for fists?” As soon as she said this, her hands turned into pink kitten heads, which she was more than happy to fire off at Bill. “P-pow! P-pow!” She chuckled as the kitten heads hit their mark, furiously gnawing on their beleaguered target.
“Um… I’ll take another ax, I guess?” Connie shrugged. She gasped when the weapon appeared in her hand, but she quickly decided to take it a step further. “Bigger.” She grinned as the ax grew, never getting any heavier in her hand, even as she brought it up to a massive size. “ Bigger !”
Once the ax was twice as big as she was, Connie chucked it straight at Bill. It caught him off guard, slicing him straight in half. While he quickly pulled his body back together, the blow was still more than enough to disorient him, along with what Soos came in with next.
“Soos love stomach beam stare!” A colorful question mark beam fired straight from his shirt, powerful enough to almost knock Bill over the edge of the platform entirely. Before he could try to come in with any kind of counterattack, however, Mabel made the next move.
“Rise, Xyler! Rise, Craz!” At this call, both dream boys rose from beneath the platform, fully revived as they jammed out on a synth drum and keytar.
“No!” Bill shouted, horrified. “Synthesized music! It hurts!”
“And now to imagine your worst nightmare!” Dipper boldly proclaimed. “A portal out of Stan’s mind!”
“Out of Stan’s mi-ind!” Mabel sang along to Xyler and Craz’s synth music.
“Let’s do this! Together!” Steven rallied the others. He raised his hand, letting energy brim around it as he smiled over at Dipper, who did the same. The others joined them in imagining a gaping, swirling vortex directly under Bill, which quickly began to pull him in.
“No, no, no!” He struggled against it, only for a moment, before he put a sudden end to the tides turning against him. “ENOUGH!”
All at once, the world turned into little more than a still white void. The portal disappeared as Bill readjusted his hat and regathered his bearings. “You know, I’m impressed with you guys. You’re more clever than you look. So I’m gonna let you kids off the hook for now. You might come in handy later. In fact, I know at least a few of you definitely will…” He paused, only for a second, as he sharply set his sights on Steven and Dipper in particular. Almost as if he could see something none of the others could.
“BUT KNOW THIS,” Bill suddenly changed his tune. He held his hands up as the symbol of a six-fingered hand, much like the one on the cover of the journal, appeared between them. “A darkness approaches. A day will come in the future when everything you care about will change. And when it does, I won’t be the only one you’ll have to worry about…” At this, the hand shifted into four diamonds stacked together, with a noticeable crack torn across the bottommost shape.
“Until then, I’ll be watching you!” Bill cheerily finished his final warning off as he rose high into the air. Once again, countless images flashed through his flat form, far too quick for anyone to catch. Not that the demon gave them much of a chance to as he made his fast and flashy exit. “ I’LL BE WATCHING YOU…”
And just like that, Bill was gone. For now, at least.
In the aftermath of his defeat, everyone shared a triumphant cheer. Soos pulled the kids together into a relieved hug over a hard-won victory, but a victory nonetheless. One that was short-lived as they all noticed a strange shift rippling across the mindscape.
“Whoa…” Steven frowned as he stole a glance at his hand. “What’s going on? We’re getting all fade-y.”
“Stan must be waking up,” Dipper concluded.
“Will I ever see you guys again?” Mabel pouted as she turned to her dream boys.
“In your dreams,” Craz said, grinning.
“Good one, bro,” Xyler solemnly nodded. “Good one.”
“I’m gonna miss them so much!” Mabel sniffled, turning away.
Connie couldn’t help but roll her eyes, patting her on the back as they drifted out of the mindscape altogether. “You’ll live.”
When the group awakened, none of them were too surprised to find themselves back in the shack’s den. Despite how harrowing their trip through Stan’s mind had been, they’d somehow managed to find their way back to reality, safe and sound once more.
“Woo!” Mabel loudly, happily cheered. “We did it!”
“W-what?” Stan groggily asked. He’d only just woken up, but was clearly still a bit out of hit as he leaned back a bit in his chair. “Did what? What are you all doing here? And why was I dreaming of two brightly colored and radical young men?”
“Grunkle Stan, you’re ok!” Dipper exclaimed, relieved. He hurried over, climbing onto Stan’s chair as he warmly wrapped his arms around his neck. After hearing his uncle’s true, touching thoughts on him earlier, how could he not?
“What is this?” Stan asked, confused. “A hug?”
“Nope!” Dipper smirked as he suddenly, playfully tightened his hold around Stan’s neck. “It’s a choke hold!”
“Heh,” Stan chuckled. He got back at Dipper by pulling the brim of his hat down over his eyes. not bad, kid. Not bad.”
Once that heartwarming display came to an end, Connie piped up, rubbing her arm remorsefully. “Um, hey, Dipper? I just wanted to say… I’m sorry for calling you selfish earlier. I was just mad and-”
“Nah, you were right,” Dipper admitted with a sheepish smile. “I was only thinking about myself. I was just so angry and I guess I couldn’t see beyond that anger until it was almost too late. I’m the one who should be sorry.”
“Well, for what it's worth,” Connie grinned as she elbowed him. “I think you more than made up for it by coming to our rescue like you did. You really put Bill in his place.”
“Heh,” Dipper rubbed the back of his neck, blushing. “I-it was nothing-”
“Aw, this is so nice!” Steven suddenly popped up between the two, throwing his arms over their shoulders. “Everyone’s happy and getting along! I love it when everything turns out great in the end like this! Just like it always does.”
“I’m just glad Gideon didn’t get into the safe,” Mabel added just as warmly. “I really love this old shack.”
“Group hug!” Soos exclaimed. He held his arms out wide, only for none of the others to join him. “No? I never know the right time!”
As satisfied as everyone was that they won the day, that illusion was all too quickly broken. Without warning, the nearby wall was brutally, violently blasted straight through. The resounding explosion briefly sent everyone flying before they all landed in a heap in the remains of the now-ruined den. As the dust began to settle, an all-too familiar figure approached, smugly standing over his disoriented foes.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Pines family,” Gideon flashed them a sharp, knowing grin. “Did I wake you?”
“But… but we defeated Bill!” Dipper protested, confused.
“Bill failed me!” Gideon harshly snapped. “So I resorted to plan B: dynamite!”
“What? Bill?” Stan cut in, completely out of the loop. “What are you guys talking about?”
“Spoiler alert, Stanford: I got the deed!” Gideon’s devious smile widened as he held up his prize. “The Mystery Shack belongs to me ! So get out of my property!” He didn’t spare another word on any of them as he turned, issuing orders to Bud over his walkie-talkie on the way out. “Daddy? Bring it ‘round front.”
“Uh… so I wasn’t the only one who didn’t see any of that coming, right?” Steven asked, bewildered.
“Right,” Connie stiffly agreed.
“D-don’t worry, guys!” Dipper anxiously tried to reason. “It’s just part of the dream! We’re gonna wake up any second now, right? Right?!”
He was quickly proven wrong when they all peered out the front door. Sure enough, Bud was driving a bulldozer straight to the shack. It was enough to force everyone outside as the wrecking ball smashed right into the Mystery Shack’s iconic sign.
“Someone pinch me, dude…” Soos muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.
Even still, none of it felt real for any of them. At least not until what little was left of the shack’s sign came crashing down right in front of them, proving this was far from a dream.
It was a nightmare.
Notes:
Next time... the Mystery Kids ban together to stop Gideon, before its too late...
Chapter 21: Gideon Rises
Summary:
After Gideon steals the Mystery Shack, Dipper, Mabel, Steven, and Connie pull out all of the stops in order to save their summer together.
Notes:
Man, hard to believe we're already here huh? This was already on of my favorites in early old UF, so you likely won't notice too many changes here, but I still think it's a lot of fun and very action-packed to finish off this part of the story. With all that, let's watch the epic fight against the Gideonbot unfold and get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
G JDXHYF CG ZPH FFVEUX XWFOG GIS MUEQ
XVEFS FOAVMBT KCNXVDPG NSS YOVDPZL GCNTL
JIOET OKK URZWAH, HAOVJW KVMZ VNIQKS
NOR PNMQ MH QPSL, RQYIG JJZE XMDVFNOUX
Though the rain had passed and the skies had cleared, a storm still hung heavy over the Pines family. A storm that seemed set on turning their lives totally upside down.
Gideon’s hostile takeover of the shack had come so swiftly and suddenly; there’d barely been enough time for Stan, Dipper, and Mabel to gather what few possessions they could before they were forced out. Fortunately, they weren’t out on the street quiet yet. Steven had kindly offered to let them gather their bearings up at the temple, where they quickly filled the Gems in on everything that had happened.
Needless to say they were every bit as lost in the shuffle of it all as the Pines themselves were.
“Ok, so let me see if I understand this,” Pearl began to summarize. “Gideon stole the deed to the Mystery Shack and managed to kick the three of you out?”
“Yeah, that’s… pretty much what happened,” Dipper said, sighing. Of course, there was plenty more to tell after their run-in with Bill, but there’d be time for that later. Right now, Gideon was the much more immediate problem by far.
“The stupid little punk would have never blown that hole through the wall if I had been paying more attention,” Stan scowled from his spot on the couch. “What I wouldn’t give to knock his lights out and take my deed right back from his grubby little hands!”
“Yeah… sounds great,” Amethyst eagerly cracked her knuckles. “Let’s do it!”
“No,” Garnet cut in. From her spot near the door, she watched as Gideon proudly rode his bulldozer around his newly-claimed property just down the hill. “Gideon may have taken the shack by force, but trying to take it back by force won’t work anywhere near as well. Trust me.”
“Oh, so what?” Stan scoffed. “We’re just supposed to sit around and let Gideon turn it into the Tent of Telepathy Part 2?”
“For now, it’s all you can do,” Garnet replied, crossing her arms.
“What are we gonna do in the meantime?” Mabel asked, frowning. “Without the Mystery Shack, we have no place to stay! Where are we supposed to sleep? Or eat? Where am I gonna make Mabel juice?! Or knit sweaters?! Or-”
“Wait a minute, Mabel,” Steven cut in. “I think I have an idea. While we get this whole thing with the shack sorted out, you guys could always… stay here at the temple with us?” he suggested, offering the Gems the most charming, convincing smile he could muster.
“Oh my gosh, Steven, that’s the best idea I’ve ever heard!” Mabel brightly exclaimed, grabbing his hands. “If we stayed up here at the temple with you, then it would be like a never-ending magical slumber party! Doesn’t that just sound awesome ?”
Stan wasn’t quite taken with the idea as he offered up a flat, dry, “No.”
“Yeah, I don’t know about that…” Dipper frowned as he glanced around Steven’s admittedly tiny home. “I mean, it’s not like this place really has enough space for three more. Then again, I guess it’s either here or… nothing.”
“That’s the spirit!” Steven happily proclaimed. “Oh, this is gonna be so much fun! We can-”
“Now, hold it just a minute, Steven,” Pearl interrupted. “I’m not so sure this ‘never-ending slumber party’ is the best idea either. Not because of the lack of space, but because of… well…”
A beat of awkward silence filled the room as Pearl’s gaze slowly drifted over in Stan’s direction. He was hardly surprised as he simply let out a disgruntled huff. “You know, Pearl, if you don’t want me here, you can just say so.”
Pearl started, flustered. “T-that’s not what I–I mean, I wouldn’t have put it that bluntly, but-”
“Aw, don’t listen to Pearl,” Amethyst plopped down onto the couch beside Stan. “You guys can totally crash here! Heck, it might even be kinda fun having some new roomies. Means I’ll have more people to pull late-night pranks on, right Steven?”
“Uh, yeah, speaking of which,” Steven began, rubbing his arm. “Amethyst, can we talk about that frog you put in my bed last night later on? ‘Cause I think we kinda need to talk about that.”
“Oh, please, please, please let us stay!” Mabel resorted to begging to Garnet and Pearl. “Just look at us!” She pulled Dipper up beside her while whispering, “Be as cute as you can!” He did as she said, throwing on a pout to match his sister’s as she continued her appeal. “We’re cold, lonely, and lost in the world with nowhere else to go! Can’t you find it in your hearts to take in two poor, adorable kids and their cheap, but lovable uncle for a while? Pretty please? After all, we are your favorite twins!”
“Uh, yeah, what she said,” Dipper nodded. Still, he made the effort to throw on a downright doleful, pleading look. If, between the two of them, they couldn’t manage to convince the Gems, then no one could.
Steven did his part to help, silently mouthing “please” over and over again when the Gems looked his way. They said nothing for what felt like an eternity, until Pearl’s lip began to quiver and Garnet let out a small, relenting sigh.
“That’s not fair,” she said. “You know you’re all much too cute to say no to.”
“Oh, how could I even think of turning you two away?!” Pearl cried, wiping her tears away. “You both can stay here for as long as you need to! No questions asked!”
“Yay!” Steven and Mabel happily cheered.
Dipper, on the other hand, wasn’t ready to relax quite yet. “That means Grunkle Stan can stay too, right?” he asked, watching as Pearl’s face fell the moment he did.
“Well…”
“Stan can stay too,” Garnet cut her off. Her stern tone alone made it clear there would be no arguing about it, not that Stan was all too grateful.
“Oh gee, thanks ,” he deadpanned, rolling his eyes. “Not only do I get booted out by a blue-suited gremlin, but I also get to sleep on a couch and put up with you two nagging about it, all in the same day! How lucky can a guy get?”
“Aw, c’mon, Stan, it won’t be so bad,” Amethyst elbowed him, grinning. “Now that we’re roomies, it’ll be a non-stop party around here! Or at least it will once you stop bein’ all crabby about losing the shack or whatever.”
“My house was just stolen out from under me,” Stan sneered. “I think I have a right to be as crabby as I want.”
“Don’t worry, Mr. Pines!” Steven encouraged. “We’ll think of some way to get the shack back, I’m sure! And in the meantime, all of us are gonna have a great time living together! We’ll be like one big happy family!”
“Yeah, we will!” Mabel heartily agreed. “We could even redecorate the mailbox so that it has both of our last names on it!”
“You mean like… Unipines?” Steven suggested, smiling.
“Or Pinesuverse!” Mabel added.
For his part, Stan had already started making himself at home as he moved to comb through the fridge for a snack. Though not without plenty of opposition from Pearl in the process. .
“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked, eyeing him critically.
“What? I’m famished here,” Stan shrugged as he pulled a sandwich out of the fridge.
“You can’t eat that! It’s not your food!”
“Hey, it’s not like you’re gonna eat it.”
“Ohhh! Got ‘er!” Amethyst exclaimed, laughing. She kept that laughter up as she stood on the sidelines of the argument that quickly broke out between Pearl and Stan, a largely pointless one at that. Their bickering only added to the noisy excitement Steven and Mabel were filling the room with, which only grew when they brought Lion into the mix. On the fringes of all of this chaos, Garnet and Dipper stood, unable to do much else other than watch it all unfold.
“There’s no way this is going to work out, is it?” Dipper couldn’t help but ask.
“It could…” Garnet noted, shifting her shades.
“But will it?”
She paused, just long enough to consult her future vision, before supplying the most obvious answer there was. “…No.”
Steven’s house was, simply put, small. Greg and the Gems had built it to have plenty of space to accommodate him… and not really anyone else. Especially not three displaced, unexpected house guests.
Still, Steven did what he could to find space for the Pines. He pulled the cushions off the couch to create a wide, makeshift bed on the den floor for them, only for Lion to quickly claim it as his own instead. When he refused to budge from his nap, everyone simply agreed to let him be for a bit in favor of watching a little evening television. The Gems eventually joined them on the crowded loft, with Stan, Dipper, Steven, and Pearl focusing on the TV while Garnet, Mabel, and Amethyst formed a “braid train” to pass the idle time.
“Whoa, Amethyst, your hair is so soft and smooth!” Mabel noted as she ran a hand through the lavender locks. “I always thought it would be super tangly and sticky since you drink so much chocolate syrup and hot glue. What’s your secret?”
“Heh, I’ll never tell,” Amethyst smirked as she flipped her bangs.
“It’s because she shakes it all out of her hair,” Garnet explained in her stead.
“Like a dog?” Mabel asked.
“Exactly like a dog.”
“And it's never failed me yet,” Amethyst crossed her arms. “Hey, Stan, you sure you don’t want in on this braid train? I mean, you don’t really got a lot of hair anymore, but I’m sure I could make something out of it.”
“Amethyst, cut it out!” Stan smacked her hand away when she reached for his hair. “You too, Mabel.” He was just as quick to shove his niece’s hand back as he nodded toward the TV. “The news is finally on.”
Everyone turned their attention to the top story of the night as Shandra Jimenez began to report. “In a movement that has all of Gravity Falls buzzing, child psychic Gideon Gleeful has taken surprise ownership of the Mystery Shack, previously belonging to area shyster, Stanford Pines.” At this, an incriminating photo popped up of Stan, clad in a devil costume and surrounded by flames.
“That picture’s taken out of context,” Stan quickly pointed out.
The report moved on to an interview segment filmed in front of the tall wire fence that had been built around the shack. “Now that you have the shack, what exactly are you planning on doing with it?” Shandra asked Gideon.
“I have a big announcement to make tomorrow,” Gideon flashed a charming grin at the camera. “And I’d cordially like to invite all the good people of Gravity Falls to join me. Free admission to anyone who wears their Lil’ Gideon pin!” He winked to the camera as he held up one of his self-promoting pins. “It’s my face!”
“How tacky,” Garnet dryly commented.
“I just can’t believe Gideon beat us,” Dipper sighed, discouraged. “Normally I’m able to save the day, but this time? I have no idea what to do! This is all my fault.”
“What? No it’s not,” Steven said, frowning sympathetically. “There really wasn’t much that any of us could have done to stop Gideon from breaking into the shack. And there’s not really a whole lot we can do to stop him now either.”
“Steven’s right,” Mabel agreed, jumping to her feet. “But don’t worry, Dipper! I guess this just means that Mabel’s gonna have to be the new hero of the family now! I’ll defeat Gideon with my… grappling hook!” With a daring grin, she pulled the tool out and held it aloft for everyone to see.
“Mabel, no offense, but that grappling hook has only ever helped us out once,” Dipper bluntly noted.
“Soon to be twice ,” Mabel corrected. “Those crazy thorn plants at Rose’s fountain were no match for this bad boy, and neither will Gideon. Just watch this!”
She took aim at the temple gate, hoping to snag one of the smaller rocks surrounding it, only to catch a much larger one instead. As the grappling hook sent the stone hurdling back at the group on the loft, Garnet took action, deflecting it with a single punch that sent its shattered pieces spilling all over the house.
“See what I mean?” Dipper rolled his eyes. “That thing usually causes more harm than help.”
“That’s just because I wasn’t aiming right,” Mabel protested. “Let me just try again and-”
“O-ok!” Pearl cut in with a forced grin. “Why don’t we put that away and everyone heads onto bed now, hm?”
“Aw, already?” Steven pouted. “But we’re having so much fun!”
“I don’t know if ‘fun’ is the word I would use to describe any of this,” Stan said, scowling.
“Can’t you guys just hang out with us a little longer?” Steven implored the Gems as they began to head out. “I’m sure we would all feel better after some jokes or a story or something. Please?”
“Alright,” Garnet surprised everyone as she returned to the loft and took a seat on the bed. Steven climbed up onto her lap, as the twins moved to sit alongside Amethyst and Pearl. “I have a story for you kids. It’s about Alexandrite.”
While Amethyst let out an excited squeal, Pearl blushed as she gaped at Garnet in surprise. “A-Alexandrite? Garnet, are we really going to tell them about… her?”
“Sure,” Garnet shrugged. “It’ll help them feel better.”
“Who’s Alexandrite?” Mabel asked, confused.
“She’s only a complete and total boss!” Amethyst exclaimed, beaming brightly.
“You all remember Opal and Sugilite, right?” Pearl asked. “Well, Alexandrite is… sort of like them. Only… bigger.”
“A lot bigger,” Amethyst added.
“Alexandrite is the fusion of myself, Pearl, and Amethyst,” Garnet explained properly. “She is very massive and very powerful.”
“Plus, she has six arms and can summon, like, all of our weapons!” Amethyst’s smile grew even bigger as she took in the awe filling all three of the kids’ faces.
“However,” Pearl cut in. “As fearsome and formidable as Alexandrite is, she’s a bit… unstable. Her true potential can only be realized when the three of us fuse with a singular goal in mind. Anything else and… well…”
“We fall apart,” Garnet concluded.
“Wait, so all three of you can fuse at the same time?” Dipper asked, immensely curious. “But how? I thought only two Gems could fuse at a time.”
“Nah, man,” Amethyst countered. “There’s no limit to how many of us can mash it up at once!”
“Please,” Stan scoffed, far more skeptical than any of the kids. “This ‘Alexandrite’ broad sounds like she’s nothing but a big fairy tale to me. Then again, you three are like something out of a nutso fairy tale by yourselves, so maybe she isn’t too far out there.”
“Well, I think Alexandrite sounds amazing!” Steven exclaimed, stars in his eyes. “Can we meet her? Right now?”
“Yeah!” Mabel zealously agreed. “If Alexandrite is really as big and strong as you guys are saying, then I bet she’d be able to go down to the shack, beat the snot out of Gideon, and get the deed back, no problem!”
“Whoa, that’s… actually a pretty good idea,” Dipper said, surprised.
And yet, for as short and sensible of a plan as it may have seemed, the Gems weren’t quite on board with it. “Oh, well, we would love to help, kids, but… we really only fuse during deadly situations,” Pearl said, frowning. “And losing the Mystery Shack to Gideon… really isn’t one.”
“Hey, it is to me!” Stan protested. “Without that dusty old shack, I’m making zero profits! That’s the deadliest situation imaginable!”
“Eh, you’ll live,” Garnet said, shrugging.
“Don’t be so down, you guys!” Amethyst encouraged as she hopped off the loft. Garnet and Pearl followed along not far behind, ready to turn into the temple for the night. “At least you get to chill here for a while. ‘Sides, what’s Gideon really gonna do with the shack anyway? Paint it blue like he did the temple? Come on.”
“We’ll have more time to discuss a more realistic plan tomorrow,” Pearl assured. “In the meantime, good night, kids. And uh… you too, Stan, I suppose.”
Stan could only roll his eyes as the Gems disappeared inside the temple on such an unsatisfying note. “Whelp, I should’ve guessed those three wouldn’t be any help,” he said, crossing his arms.
“Aw, well… I bet the Gems will help you guys out however they can,” Steven offered the Pines a small, hopeful smile. “And I’ll help too! Don’t get me wrong, I love that you guys are staying here, but I already miss going down to the Mystery Shack and seeing all the great stuff there!”
“Yeah… Same here…” Mabel let out a homesick sigh. “I mean, the temple is great and everything, but it’s a lot different than the musty, weird, creakiness of the shack.”
“Not to mention it’s a lot cleaner here,” Dipper deadpanned. Even so, his worried frown betrayed his sarcasm. “But still, you guys are right. For as old and rundown as it is, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it too.”
“And that’s why we gotta get it back,” Stan said, resolved. His verve was suddenly broken, however, when Lion suddenly swiped his fez clean off his head, claiming it as his newest toy. How fitting that something else be stolen from him without any sort of warning at all today. “The sooner we get it back and get out of this nuthouse, the better.”
The next morning saw a huge crowd coming out to Mystery Shack on Gideon’s invitation alone. An air of excitement hung over that crowd, with everyone eagerly awaiting whatever their favorite town icon had to say.
“Gideon is the psychic-est!” Lazy Susan exclaimed, delighted. “He guessed the secret ingredient to my coffee omelet!”
“The kid was able to predict how many games there are at Funland Arcade without even counting ‘em!” Mr. Smiley added, also quite impressed. “I don’t even know how many games I got in there!”
“Somehow he knew about my secret birthmark!” Toby Determined awkwardly wailed.
“His hair is very poofy and soft,” Nanefua noted, smiling. “I wonder what conditioner he uses.”
“Is that why we are here instead of at work, where we should be?” Kofi fixed his mother with an impatient scowl. “Because if so, this is a waste of valuable pizza making time-”
He was abruptly cut off as Manly Dan let out a loud, boisterous shout right beside him. “I love that child psychic so much!” he cried, pulling Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland into a sudden hug.
“Y-you’re chokin’ me!” Blubs gasped for air against Dan’s tight hold.
“G-grandma, is that you?” Durland asked, his face turning purple.
The townsfolk only continued to praise Gideon as they waited for the promised show to begin. As distracted as they were, none of them noticed another group blending into the back of the crowd. Knowing they wouldn’t be welcomed otherwise, the Pines, Soos, and Steven made sure to don disguises, even if they weren’t exactly the most discreet.
“Just gonna say it,” Mabel smiled as she fiddled with her faux mustache.. “I don’t know what we’re doing here, but I’m loving these fake mustaches!”
“It’s like a tiny little caterpillar on top of my lip!” Steven happily patted his own stache.
“Dudes, if anyone asks, I’m not Soos,” Soos pointed to his hat, which sure enough read ‘Not Soos’.
“Guys, can we at least try to take this seriously?” Dipper asked, unamused.
“All of you, shut your yaps,” Stan scolded, nodding up to the makeshift stage. “It’s starting.”
A hush fell over the crowd as Gideon took the stage, sending his audience a broad, triumphant grin. “Ladies and gentlemen! Today I am delighted to announce my plans for the former Mystery Shack! I give you…. Gideonland!”
With a dramatic flourish, he unveiled a scale model of, of all things, an amusement park, complete with rides, signs, and even a towering statue of Gideon to top it all off. While the crowd roared with excited cheers, the group gathered at the back could only share silent shock over what Gideon had planned.
“That’s right, folks!” he proudly proclaimed. “We’re gonna turn this dirty ol’ shack into three square miles of Gideon-tertainment! And, if all goes well, then we’re even lookin’ to expand up the hill a bit…” His smile took a more spiteful turn as he stole a greed glance up toward the temple. “Now, allow me to introduce our new mascot: Lil’ Gideon Jr!”
“Lil’ Gideon Jr.” turned out to be Waddles, clad head to toe in a Gideon costume, complete with a suit and white wig. While he looked completely miserable, Gideon hardly seemed to care as he exclaimed, “Boom! He’s a Pig!”
“Waddles!” Mabel cried, distraught at the sight of what her beloved pet had been reduced to. “You monster!”
“Alright, that’s it!” Stan shouted, hotly throwing off his disguise. The others did the same, following Stan as he charged through the crowd and onto the stage. “Listen up, people!” he shouted, furious. “Gideon’s a fraud! This kid broke into the shack and stole my property!”
“Arrest him, officers!” Mabel fiercely commanded.
“Yeah!” Dipper added, knocking the nearby podium over to further their point.
“Such accusations!” Gideon gasped, feigning innocence. “Stanford, I recall that you gave the property to me. Look, I have the deed right here!” He pulled the document out of his suit, showing it off to the crowd as evidence–all without so much as mentioning that he’d stolen it in the first place.
“Well, that’s all the proof I need to see,” Blubs concluded, shrugging.
“We love you, Lil’ Gideon! Sing them funny songs!” Durland exclaimed with an oblivious grin.
“Wait!” Steven cried as he joined the Pines on stage. “Gideon’s lying! He really did steal the deed to the Mystery Shack! I was there when it happened; we all were!”
“Y-yeah!” Stan exclaimed, nodding. “What the kid said!”
To Gideon’s surprise, a mummer of doubt began to ripple through the crowd at this. And he didn’t like any of what he was hearing from it:
“Huh… that Universe kid seems pretty certain about this.”
“I’ve never heard a lie from Steven before…”
“Yeah, he’s so honest. Maybe he’s the right one here…”
Gideon hadn’t anticipated Steven’s reputation to precede him like this. Which was why he was quick to jump in and save his own skin before this got too far. “Oh ho ho! Certainly you must be misrememberin’, Steven, my dear friend ,” Gideon forced a sharp smile onto his face as he threw an arm around Steven’s shoulder. “Then again, it must be hard for you to keep track of what’s what when you’re always runnin’ off on adventures with those Gem compatriots of yours. Spending time with rocks probably knocks the ol’ noggin around a bit. You know what I’m sayin’, folks?”
The crowd eased up at this joke, sharing a laugh–one that was almost entirely at the expense of Steven and the Gems. “B-but I-” Steven’s protests were cut off when Gideon suddenly snapped his fingers. On his command, two burly thugs marched onto the stage to round up the “rabble”. Despite their struggle, the guards easily grabbed the Pines, Soos, and Steven before leading them away. Though not before Gideon flaunted his victory over Stan one more time.
“Now, get off my property, old man!” he shouted as he slapped one of his pins onto Stan’s lapel.
“I’ll show you who’s the old man!” Stan challenged. Only for his hearing aid to undermine him with a harsh screech at the worst possible time. “Ow! My hearing aid!”
“Thanks for visiting Gideonland!” Gideon cheerfully called out after the group as his thugs dragged them away. “Don’t come back, I don’t care for ya’ll.”
In no time at all, the guards tossed the group onto the other side of the chain-link fence surrounding the property. For good measure, they made sure to stand by just to make sure that the “intruders” wouldn’t try to sneak in again. Not that they even considered the thought after just how badly their first attempt had gone.
“Well, that was a disaster,” Stan said with a defeated scowl.
“My poor, precious Waddles,” Mabel lamented. “Subjected to that kind of humiliation ! What did that adorable little angel ever do to deserve this?”
“It’s ok, you guys,” Dipper encouraged, resting a hand on his sister’s shoulder. “We’ll get the shack back somehow.”
“Yeah!” Steven supportively agreed. “And until then, you’re always welcome up at the temple! There’s no way Gideon could steal that too… right?”
“Uh, don’t look now, dudes, but…” Soos nodded up towards the temple hill. At its base, billboards were already being put in place advertising “Future Gideonland Expansion Site.” A troubling sign on top of everything else that had already happened.
A sign that this storm was about to somehow get even worse if they couldn’t find a way to stop it.
“And then he had these really beefy guys drag us away, all before anyone could hear what really happened,” Steven filled the Gems in on the morning’s events. “And he’s even started putting up signs that he’s gonna try to take the temple too!”
“What?” Pearl and Amethyst exchanged a baffled look. Garnet, on the other hand, let out a soft sneer as she leaned back in her seat.
“Don’t worry,” she assured her teammates. “Even if Gideon stood a chance at taking the house, he can’t get into the temple without one of our gemstones. The bubbled Gems inside are all safe.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” Pearl sighed. “Still, the fact that he’s even considering making a claim for the temple at all is… concerning.”
“Concerning enough for you guys to do something to help us stop him?” Dipper asked leadingly, hopefully. “Like, oh, I dunno, fuse ?”
“No,” Garnet rejected the idea outright.
“Garnet’s right,” Pearl nodded. “We need to come up with a simpler, easier, and less… gigantic way of handling this situation.”
“We could always just beat the little loser up without fusing,” Amethyst suggested, shrugging. “That kid’s just asking for a good punch in the face after everything he’s pulled lately.”
“We’re not going down there to beat a child up, Amethyst,” Garnet shook her head. “Even if that child is as annoying as, well, Gideon.”
“So what can we do?” Mabel asked, frowning. “Don’t get me wrong; staying up here with you guys is great, really, but I’m running out of room to store all my sweaters!” She nodded to Steven’s cramped closet, filled to the brim with her vast collection of sweaters.
“What’s Stan gonna tell Mom and Dad?” Dipper asked. “Chances are they’re probably not gonna like hearing that we got booted out of the shack and we’re all technically kind of homeless now.” The deep worry written all over his face was equally matched by Mabel as soon as she heard him pose this question. One that reminded them both of exactly what they both agreed upon only a few days prior, of how there was even more they could stand to lose.
“You guys aren’t homeless! Your home is here with us!” Steven chimed in with an understanding smile. “Well, for now at least. Right, guys?”
He turned to the Gems, only to be met with an exchange of uncertain glances. While none of them wanted to admit it, this arrangement was only a short-term solution to a much bigger problem. A problem that nobody, not even the Gems, had the faintest idea how to truly solve.
“And besides,” Steven continued nonetheless. “I’m sure Mr. Pines will think of something to tell your parents. He’s good at-”
“Lying?” Pearl offered.
“Well, I was gonna say coming up with stuff…”
“Yeah,” Amethyst chuckled. “That’s pretty much what lying is in a nutshell.”
This proved to be just enough to lighten the mood as the other Gems and the kids shared a short laugh. And yet, none of them would have laughed if they could hear the very serious, very severe phone call happening on the porch right outside.
“Uncle Stan, are you sure everything’s ok? I heard about what happened with you losing the shack and everything, and I’m just worried about-”
“ Don’t worry,” Stan staunchly, sternly told his nephew. “The kids are fine. I, uh…” He paused, briefly frowning up at the temple behind him before he continued with a smooth, simple lie. “I put ‘em up in this amazing four-star hotel! Real ritzy place. Plenty of space for them to run around, and uh… there’s even a fancy statue right outside for them to play on!”
“Oh. Well… that sounds nice. But are they-”
Stan winced when he heard a much harsher, angrier voice chiming in the background on the other end of the line. “You tell that no-account crook of an uncle of yours that we did not send our only children all the way up there only for them to be living out on the street! It’s bad enough they had to stay in that filthy, probably termite-infested shack in the first place… Of all the ridiculous, asinine things you’ve managed to come up with, shipping them up there to spend the summer with him takes the cake.”
“Uh… o-ok, honey. I’ll tell him-”
“Yeesh,” Stan dryly cut in. “Your wife’s still as much of a ‘ray of sunshine’ as I remember her being.”
“Uncle Stan…”
“What? I’m not wrong.”
“She’s just trying to look out for Dipper and Mabel and so am I. They have enough to eat, right?”
“Uh, s-sure,” Stan lied once more. “We’ve got… plenty to eat.”
It wasn’t entirely untrue; Greg kept the temple’s fridge well-stocked for Steven. But for three more on top of him, not so much. Stan knew he couldn’t very well ask his former employee to pay for his groceries; his pride wouldn’t allow it. But with most of his savings still hidden in various nooks and crannies in the shack, there weren’t too many options left. Not that he’d ever let anyone, especially not the twins, know that.
“Uncle Stan, I’m still not so sure the kids should stay-”
“Relax,” Stan quickly cut his nephew off before he could finish that thought. “If I thought I couldn’t take care of these kids, I’d send them back right away.”
His nephew didn’t say anything for a moment or two, leaving Stan in suspense. In the end, he narrowly suppressed a sigh of relief when he heard him say, “Alright, if you say so. But if anything changes, if things take a turn for the worse, then you can always send them back home.”
“Yeah…” Stan agreed, softly and sadly. “I… I know.”
“Keep us posted, please. Talk to you soon.”
“Right,” Stan barely managed to bid his nephew a farewell. He hung the phone up, heaving another sigh as he set his sights on the Mystery Shack. It was just a short walk down the hill, but it still somehow felt miles out of his reach.
As much as he might have wanted to blame Gideon for this mess, Stan knew he could only really blame himself. He should have been more careful, should have taken Gideon’s threats and schemes far more seriously than he had. Maybe if he had, they’d all still be safe and secure at the shack. Maybe if he had, the future would look as uncertain as it did.
Maybe if he had, he wouldn’t have to do the impossible. To do what was best for the twins, even if it wasn’t what was best for him.
The fireplace in the shack’s parlor burned bright as it consumed the Pines’ family photo Gideon tossed into it. He chuckled wickedly as he watched his foes “burn” before turning his attention back to the second journal. He was quickly distracted, however, by Waddles’ latest attempt to escape out the window.
That attempt was put to a swift end as Gideon harshly blew his whistle. “You! Back to your corner!” he ordered, and the terrified pig complied. Satisfied that he’d stay put, Gideon began leafing through the journal, paying his father no mind as he entered the room with his reclaimed sad clown painting.
“I’ve been meanin’ to ask you, boy,” Bud began. “Shouldn’t you be celebratin’ instead of sticking your head in that there book all day?”
“Father,” Gideon coldly turned to him, holding the journal tight. “Have I ever told you the true nature of this book? It was written many years ago by a brilliant, unknown author who learned secrets too powerful for one man. He hid his journals where he thought no one would ever find ‘em, because he knew that if the journals were ever brought together, they would unleash a gateway to unimaginable power!”
A greedy, ambitious grin filled Gideon’s face as he set his sights back on the journal and all of the secrets it still held. Secrets that he was closer to uncovering now more than ever before. “Codes and maps have led me to believe that the other book is buried somewhere on this very property, and I intend to find it!”
“So that’s why you wanted the Mystery Shack,” Bud inferred.
“Exactly,” Gideon nodded, grabbing a nearby shovel. “It’s time to begin the search for the other journal! And once I find it, not only will this town finally belong to me, but I’ll also be able to get rid of the only ones who could possibly get in my way: the Crystal Gems!”
Gideon’s sinister laughter filled the shack as he held the second journal aloft. Once he secured the first volume, he’d have the key to all the power he could ever hope for. All the power he’d ever need to crush the Crystal Gems, or anyone else for that matter, who dared to stand in his way, once and for all.
“Ok, Amethyst, it’s your turn,” Steven said. With little else to do, the kids had taken to passing the time with a board game. While Steven hoped it would do at least a little to cheer Dipper and Mabel up, things quickly took a turn in a much more peculiar direction once the Gems joined in.
“Aw, sweet!” Amethyst grinned at her card. “I got another dare one. Quick! Someone throw out a dare! Whatever it is, I’ll totally do it!”
“I dare you to body slam the table right now!” Mabel challenged.
“You’re on!”
“Now hold on just a minute! You’re not-” Pearl tried to stop her, to no avail. With a mischievous laugh, Amethyst leapt high into the air before coming down onto the coffee table, sending its broken pieces scattering across the house.
“Yeah! I win again!” Amethyst cheered, laying in the mess she’d made.
“I’ll say you did,” Garnet said, brushing splinters off her shoulder.
“Uh, maybe we should play something a little less… destructive?” Dipper suggested, frowning.
Before they could move onto a different game, however, the front door swung open as Connie rushed inside. “Alright, everyone!” She stepped up to the loft with a notebook in hand. “I’ve been spending the past few days researching property law to see if Gideon could steal the Mystery Shack just by taking the deed.”
“Oh my gosh, Connie, that’s great!” Dipper exclaimed, perking up. “I didn’t even think about that! There’s gotta be some kind of law that makes what Gideon’s doing totally illegal, right?”
“Um… actually,” Connie frowned as she glanced away. “The laws in Gravity Falls are sort of weird. Turns out a deed is all you need to take ownership of a property. Well, that and proof that you don’t have a taste for human blood, which… yeah, I don’t know how they go about proving that.”
“Aw, man!” Mabel groaned. “What are laws even good for in the first place?!”
“Come on, you sad sacks,” Amethyst made an attempt at encouraging the kids. “This mess isn’t over yet. I’m sure if we all knock our heads together, we’ll come up with something!”
“Uh, actually… about that…” Stan cleared his throat as he stepped into the kitchen. “Kids, we gotta talk.” The forlorn look on his face alone was enough to tell them he came bearing bad news. But nothing could have ever prepared any of them for what he had to say next.
“Look, I’ve been thinking and… I can’t take care of you anymore. I don’t have a house or a job or too much of anything else really. The plan is… you’re goin’ home. Your bus leaves tomorrow. Here are your tickets.”
With a remorseful sigh, he lay a pair of bus tickets on what was left of the table. At first, no one said anything, as shocked as they all were by such a sudden, terrible turn of events. Still, that didn’t mean Dipper and Mabel weren’t the first to try and change their uncle’s mind. Especially when the thought of going home, going back to their parents , so soon was all but unthinkable to either of them.
“Grunkle Stan, you can’t give up!” Dipper protested. It took almost everything he had in him to not come across as too distraught in front of so many others. Even if he absolutely was. “There’s still time for us to figure this out.”
“Seriously, Stan!” Amethyst adamantly agreed. “I’ve known you for a long time and I’ve never seen you just throw in the towel like this!”
“That’s true,” Pearl nodded. “I hate to admit this, Stan, but if there’s one thing you’re not, it’s a quitter.”
“ Please don’t send us home, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel pleaded, nearly in tears as she tugged on his sleeve. “There’s still so much summer fun left for us to have here in Gravity Falls! It can’t end just like that!”
“Look, I lost, ok?” Stan forced himself to look away from the twins. If only because he knew he wouldn’t be able to bear the grief weighing heavy on both of their faces. “The best thing for you both is for you to be with your parents. Sorry, kids. Gideon won. Summer’s over.”
On that note, he headed out, trying his best not to fall to pieces, not now, not yet, not in front of the twins. A dense silence filled the house, one that was only broken when Mabel let out a soft sniffle. As a few eyes fell on her, she quickly wiped her face dry, but the sorrow on her face still hung as heavy as the anger brewing over Dipper’s.
“‘The best thing is for you to be with your parents’,” he quoted Stan with a bitter scoff. “Yeah, right. Being with them is just about the last thing we need…” He dropped his voice down to a near whisper as he struggled to hold back his frustrated tears. That struggle only became even harder when he felt a hand resting on his shoulder. As it turned out, Steven was standing between the twins, silently offering what little comfort he could to them both.
Likewise, the Gems were just as quick to swoop in and offer up their sympathies. “Oh, we’re so sorry, kids,” Pearl began with a sincerely sad frown. “I don’t understand why Stan thinks he needs to do this. We already made it very clear that you both are allowed to stay here for as long as you need to.”
“It’s because Stan’s being a stupid quitter, that’s why,” Amethyst growled as she kicked the crumbled table before her.
“You guys can’t just go!” Steven shook his head. “It feels like we just met a few weeks ago!”
“It was just a few weeks ago, Steven,” Dipper glumly pointed out.
“Yeah, but still, you can’t leave so soon!” Steven turned to the Gems, practically pleading. “Isn’t there something, anything we can do to keep this from happening?!”
The Gems exchanged a brief glance, but it was clear they were at just as much of a loss as the kids were. Garnet could only let out a small sigh as she rested her hands on the twins’ shoulders. “Dipper, Mabel,” she began gently, earnestly. “The last thing any of us want to see is for either of you to go… But in the end, this isn’t our choice, or even yours. It’s Stan’s. And if his choice is to send you home then… you’ll have to accept that. All of us will have to accept that.” She finished off by looking to her teammates first, then to Steven and Connie.
And unfortunately, as much as they might want to argue or protest, they all knew she was right.
Amethyst and Pearl could only hang their heads in defeat as they followed Garnet over to the temple gate. While they had nothing more to say, Garnet did have one final thing to tell them. One final way to impart hope in them where there wasn’t much left. “Again, we’re sorry,” she stopped just shy of the door, glancing back at the kids with a small, knowing smile. “But remember: even if Stan has given up, that doesn’t mean you have to.”
With that, the Gems left them alone to soak in what she had just said. Once again, her wisdom proved sound. Even if Stan didn’t see a light at the tunnel, that didn’t mean they couldn’t find it instead. After all, together they’d managed to do the impossible before; they’d just have to do it again.
“Ok, Mabel, that’s enough!” Dipper exclaimed with newfound resolve. “Garnet’s right. If Stan won’t get our home back from Gideon, then we’ll have to do it ourselves!”
“Yeah!” Mabel readily cheered.
“Count us in too!” Connie exclaimed, smiling. “Between the four of us, there’s bound to be a way to get the shack back!”
“We’ll do whatever we can to help!” Steven proclaimed brightly. “Nobody can break the four of us up! Know why? Cause we’re…” He trailed off, hoping that the others would follow his lead, but they didn’t. “Uh, this is the part where we’re all supposed to cheer ‘Mystery Kids’.”
“Oh…” The others quickly got with the program, letting out a hearty, unified, “Mystery Kids!”
“With the four of us working together, this’ll be a piece of cake!” Mabel said, confident. “And besides, Gideon may have the upper hand, but we have something that he doesn’t.”
“The journal!” Dipper proclaimed as he held the book up.
“A grappling hook!” Mabel declared at the same time as she presented her own tool. She awkwardly changed her tune when she caught the odd look the others were sending her way. “Oh, right. The… the journal. Journal!”
Early the next morning, the kids set out on what might’ve been their most important mission yet. With the rest of the summer on the line, they knew they had to act, and fast. To that end, they began with a stakeout, hiding in the shrubs surrounding the shack in the hopes of finding some way in. The sight of the ongoing construction on “Gideonland” was intimidating enough on its own; hopefully, it’d come to a swift end if they had anything to do about it.
“Alright,” Dipper began. “The bus that’ll take us out of Gravity Falls comes at sundown. If we wanna stay in town, we’ve got to get past those guards, make it through the fence, and get Gideon to hand over that deed.”
“Sounds easier said than done…” Connie frowned up at the towering fence.
“Don’t worry, guys!” Mabel whipped her grappling hook out again. “Just leave that to Mabel! Wa-chaw!” Without paying any attention to her aim, she fired, letting the hook strike a tree before it ricochet back and struck Dipper squarely in the face, knocking him to the ground.
“Ow!” He glared at his sister as he picked himself up, rubbing the sore spot on his head. “Now will you admit that grappling hook is useless?!”
“Nope!”
“So how are we gonna get over that fence?” Steven got the group back on track. “Are we gonna build a catapult and fling ourselves over it? Because I’ve always wanted to use a catapult!”
“What? No,” Dipper shook his head. “We’re gonna use this, remember?” He pulled the journal out, leafing through it as the others gathered around to get a better look. “Now, what can we use to defeat Gideon? Let’s see… abominable bro-man?”
“Yeah!” Mabel and Steven excitedly agreed.
“Nope,” Dipper quickly turned the idea down. “Butternut squash with a human face and emotions?”
“What?” Connie asked, bewildered.
“Yeah!”
“No,” Dipper rolled his eyes. He flipped to yet another page, one that caught everyone’s attention.
“Whoa, what’s all that?” Connie asked, eyeing the complex, intricate design filling the parchment.
“I honestly have no idea,” Dipper admitted with a frown. “I’ve stared at this page for hours. It seems like a blueprint to build some kind of strange futuristic super-weapon-”
“Boring!” Mabel interrupted. “To get rid of those guards, we need some kind of army.”
“Wait a minute!” Dipper gasped as an idea suddenly struck him. “An army! Mabel, that’s it! The gnomes!” He flipped to the entry on the tiny men, holding it up for the others to see.
“Uh…” Mabel tugged at the collar of her sweater, exchanging an uncomfortable glance with Connie.
“I don’t know about that…” she said, wincing at the harrowing memory of their capture.
Steven, on the other hand, was much more supportive of the idea. “Hey, that could actually work!” he said, smiling. “There are so many gnomes out in the woods that Gideon wouldn’t know what to do with them all! Plus, they’re really, really stubborn to boot.”
“Well, you’re not wrong about that,” Connie flatly agreed. “But after what happened a few weeks ago, what makes you think they’ll even want to help us?”
Dipper smirked as he closed the journal. If there was any time for all of the lessons Stan had taught him and Mabel about persuasion, it was now. “I’m sure we’ll think of something…”
Fortunately, the mystical forest that the gnomes called home wasn’t too far of a hike from the shack. Still, the kids kept their guard up as they ventured into the cove. They had every reason to after just how violent their first confrontation with the gnomes had turned.
“I gotta admit, I never thought we’d ever come back here on purpose,” Connie said, keeping a close look out for any tiny, prying eyes.
“I wonder what gnomes do out here all alone in the forest?” Mabel mused. She quickly got an answer to that question, though it was far from a pleasant one. Because there, sitting in a bathtub filled to the brim with scurrying squirrels, was Jeff. He happily relaxed in his “squirrel bath”, until he noticed the group of kids watching on in shocked disgust.
“Ah!” he exclaimed, alarmed. “This… this is normal. This is normal for gnomes.” To prove his point, he scrubbed his armpit with one of the many squirrels running around in the tub. The kids could only exchange a repulsed glance, unsure of what to say or do. Fortunately, Jeff filled in the awkward silence for them.
“Well, well, well,” he cracked a broad smirk, reclining in his tub. “Look who came crawling back. Take five, Chris,” he said to one of the countless squirrels, which hopped out of the tub. “The rest of you guys keep doin’ what you’re doin’. So, you ladies changed your mind about marrying us, eh?”
“Ew, hardly!” Mabel nearly gagged. “We just need your help. And seriously, ew!”
“You want our help?!” Jeff asked hotly. “After you both left us at the altar? No dice!”
“Oh, come on,” Connie huffed, annoyed. “How could you have expected either one of us to marry any of you after you captured us and tied us up?”
“What?” Jeff shrugged, defensive. “That’s a customary gnome courtship ritual! We’d have broken years of tradition if we hadn’t done that!”
“Even if it was tradition, it was still super mean of you guys,” Steven spoke up. “And so was forming a giant super gnome to chase us all through the woods, by the way.”
“Oh look, it’s that Gem kid again,” Jeff dryly noted. “Are those three knockouts you live with still playing hard to get?”
“Uh, yeah… Pearl’s still mad about the last time you guys tried to sneak into her room and sing that love song to her.”
“Hey, not all our plans can be winners,” Jeff admitted before he turned back to Mabel and Connie. “We’re still short one queen here, no matter how you cut it. So, are either of you dolls gonna marry us, or what?”
“Uh, no, that’s not happening,” Connie firmly shook her head. “Ever.”
“Aw, but why not?!”
“Because… because we can get you a new queen!” Mabel cut in, rolling with her sudden idea. “One that’s even more beautiful than me or Connie!”
“Oh yeah!” Dipper added, catching Mabel’s drift. “Her name is Gideon, and she has lovely white hair.”
“Huh?” Steven asked, confused. “But Gideon’s not a-”
“Shh!” Connie slapped a hand over his mouth just in time.
“Whoa, mature woman, huh?” Jeff asked, intrigued. “Hey, Shmebulock! Get my cologne!”
“Shmebulock!” The gnome in question proclaimed, carrying in a bottle of cologne that was almost as big as he was.
“Is Shmebulock all you can say?”
“…Shmebulock…” Shmebulock nodded sadly.
Jeff simply shrugged as he turned back to the kids with a broad grin. One that they shared as they realized their plan was coming together perfectly. “It’s a deal!”
By now, construction on Gideonland was in full swing. Not that Gideon was devoting much of his attention to it. He was far more focused on his first and foremost goal instead: finding the other journal.
“Where are you, journal?” Gideon muttered to himself. He started digging another hole next to the countless empty ones he had made on the fringes of the property. A testament to just how fruitless his search had been thus far. “Where are you!?”
“Boy, I hate to interrupt you,” Bud cut in as he approached his son. “But you have some guests.”
“What?” Gideon scowled over at the fence. To his surprise, Dipper, Mabel, Steven, and Connie were all gathered just outside of it.
“Give us the deed to the shack, Gideon!” Dipper demanded. “Or else!”
Gideon rolled his eyes, refusing to take them seriously. “Oh, I’m just shakin’. Am I supposed to say ‘or else what’?”
“Yes, you are supposed to say that!” Mabel exclaimed before she called out to what was hiding in the nearby woods. “Now!”
At this, the kids cleared out of the way to allow the gnomes to take over. They stormed out of the forest, riding atop various woodland creatures as they easily tore through the fence. Gideon cried out in alarm as even more gnomes appeared on top of the shack, aiming their pointy hats straight at him. Unable to escape, there was little Gideon could do as the kids pressed in to confront him.
“Nice work, you guys!” Steven rewarded a handful of gnomes with a bag of chips. “You all did great! It just goes to show that teamwork always works!”
“Where’d you hear that one from?” Connie asked, chuckling.
“I made it up!”
“It’s over, Gideon,” Dipper sternly said. “You’re surrounded by an unstoppable gnome army. Now give us back our deed and get off our property!”
“And let the marriage ceremony begin!” Jeff declared from atop his deer steed.
To everyone’s surprise, Gideon seemed to cave under the pressure almost immediately. “Very well,” he sighed, reaching into his suit. “I suppose this deed belongs to-” He stopped short as he pulled a whistle out instead of the deed. When he blew it, its high-pitched tone sent shockwaves through the gnomes as they fell from their formations, frantically covering their ears against the harsh noise. “Ha! What do you know? It works on gnomes too!” Gideon chuckled as he blew the whistle again.
“Stop!” Jeff pleaded as he bowed in submission before Gideon. “We’ll do anything! How can we serve you, your majesty, the most beautiful girl we’ve ever seen?!”
“I am not a girl!”
“Really? But your skin is so soft. Do you moisturize or-”
“Subdue them!” Gideon fiercely ordered. The gnomes were quick to comply, charging for the kids as they easily outnumbered and captured all four of them. Gideon smugly laughed as he watched his foes struggle in vain, relishing how the odds had been turned back in his favor. “I have to admit, ya’ll, I am impressed by your creativity! How did you ever manage this little scheme?”
“We just bribed them,” Connie bluntly explained.
Before anyone could say another word, Steven suddenly caught everyone off guard with a startled gasp. “Oh no! Connie, you’re hurt!” he exclaimed, eyeing the small cut on her cheek their scuffle with the gnomes had left her with. “Here, I can fix it! Just let me…” He trailed off, licking his hand as he tried to reach past the gnomes to get to Connie. Only to stop short when he heard Gideon let out a sharp, appalled scoff.
“Oh, I understand what’s goin’ on here…” he said with a dark, jealous scowl.
“Huh?” Steven frowned, confused.
“Don’t act like you don’t know, Universe!” Gideon angrily snapped. “It’s clear to see that you’re nothing but a two-timing, womanizing scoundrel!”
“…What?”
“Just look at yourself! Cheatin’ on poor Mabel right in front of her with–I’m so sorry, darlin’, remind me of your name again?”
“Connie?” she raised an eyebrow when he glanced her way.
“Connie, right,” Gideon nodded, his scowl returning as he looked back at Steven. “You oughta be ashamed of yourself. Just goes to show that Mabel should’ve chosen me instead of you.”
“Cheating?” Steven shook his head, bewildered. Likewise, Mabel and Connie exchanged a truly baffled glance, wondering how in the world Gideon could have jumped such a drastic conclusion. “What are you talking about? I’m not with-”
“Oh, and don’t think I haven’t forgotten about that little stunt you tried to pull at my openin’ ceremony the other day!” Gideon smirked smugly as he got in Steven’s face. “You almost had me worried there for a moment, tryin’ to convince the townsfolk of the ‘truth’, but in the end, you should have known it was destined to fail. Face it, Universe; this town may like you, but they love widdle ol’ me.”
“Ok, that’s enough!” Dipper cut in, thoroughly agitated by this point. “Lay off Steven already, Gideon! He didn’t do anything wrong, unlike you -” He cut himself off while trying to pull himself away from the gnomes’ surprisingly tight grip. “Come on, let go!” He continued to struggle, not even noticing what suddenly slipped out of his vest until it hit the ground with a thud.
“No, could it be?!” Gideon gasped at the sight of the alarmingly familiar book. A book bound in the same weathered burgundy and gold as the one in his possession. “It is!” He readily claimed it, flipping through its pages to confirm it was true. “Of course! It all makes sense!”
Gideon laughed as he held the journal far out of Dipper’s reach, not that he could have taken it anyway with the gnomes still holding him back. “The one place I’d never think to look!” Gideon triumphantly taunted. “ You had it the whole time! And to think I actually considered you a threat!”
“No!” Dipper protested, desperate to get the journal back. Because to lose anything, especially something as important as that, to Gideon now was all but unthinkable. Even as it was becoming a reality right before his eyes. “Give it back!”
“Every victory you had was because of your precious book!”
“Give it back, or I’ll-”
“Or you’ll what , boy?” Gideon challenged. He held the journal painfully close to Dipper, and yet, it was still so far out of his reach. “You’ll what ? Huh? Huh ?! No muscles, no brains. Face it! You’re nothin’ without this!”
With that, he starkly pulled the journal away as he pointed the gnomes to the hole in the fence they’d made. Another blow of his whistle was all it took to get them to haul the kids off, leaving him with yet another stolen prize. “Bye, bye forever, ya’ll!”
“No!” Dipper shouted one last time. But even then, he knew it was pointless. As the gnomes dragged them off, the journal stayed put in Gideon’s hands. The last thing that could have stopped this, one of the final shreds of hope they had left–taken away. Just like everything else, it seemed.
The gnomes finally dropped them off just beyond the fence, not bothering to stick around much longer than that. “Next time, do your own dirty work,” Jeff sullenly told the kids. “Come on, boys!” At this call, three squirrels ran to him and jumped into his pants right before he scampered off. The other gnomes followed after him, leaving a group of dejected, defeated kids behind.
“Well, that’s it,” Dipper sighed as he took a seat on a nearby tree stump. “Guess the bus should be here soon.”
“What?” Mabel asked. Steven and Connie mirrored her surprise. “Dipper, don’t give up! You always have a plan!”
“Yeah!” Steven agreed, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Like the time you figured out how to stop that Gem monster when we were exploring the temple!”
“Or just the other day when you found a way to follow Bill into Mr. Pines’ mind,” Connie added just as supportively.
“Don’t you guys get it?” Dipper asked, making no effort to hide his growing grief. “The journal was what bailed us out both of those times, not me! That’s always what has a plan! Gideon was right. The only cool or courageous things I’ve ever done have been because of that journal. Without it… I can’t help us, or Stan, or anyone…”
“B-but… there’s gotta be something we can do…” Mabel softly insisted, fighting back tears.
“What can we do?” Dipper could only meet his sister’s mournful gaze by sadly shaking his head. They both knew–without even needing to say it aloud–what going home would mean for them. They knew it meant the end, not just of their summer, but of so many other things. The mysteries, the magic, the friendships they’d come to cherish so much in such a short amount of time. They were about to lose it all in one fell swoop, and once they left, there’d be no doubt–
That much like the shack and the journal, they’d never get any of that back.
Sunset came far too quickly. And with, came the bus that would take Dipper and Mabel back to California.
A large group gathered at the bus stop to see them off, made up of the friends they’d made so far this summer. There was scarcely a dry eye among them, with plenty of solemn hugs and sad farewells shared. Amethyst could only let out a small, defeated sigh as Pearl struggled to hold her pressing sobs back. A stray tear even slipped out from under Garnet’s visor as she promised the twins they’d all meet again someday.
A promise that Dipper and Mabel only wished they could believe.
Saying goodbye to Steven and Connie was the most painful by far. In such a short amount of time, they’d formed such a close and special bond. After everything they’d been through together, it felt like such a waste for them to be split apart so soon. But they knew all too well there was nothing they could do now. Nothing other than tearfully embrace each other, say one final, heartbroken goodbye–
And watch as the Mystery Kids fell apart before their very eyes.
Stan was the last to bid them farewell, bringing a remorseful apology along with it. He didn’t have much else to say to the twins after that as he urged them onto the bus. All the while, he tried his hardest not to let his anger, his guilt, his shame get the better of him. There’d be plenty of time to fall apart after they were gone.
It felt like the twins were stepping into another world entirely when they boarded the bus. Its lonely leather seats and grimy exterior would usher them out of this strange, exceptional little town, back to the dull, unextraordinary lives they used to know. Back to the real world, where there were no such things as gnomes or monsters or magical aliens. Back to a home filled with all of the strife they had longed to leave behind.
Maybe that’s why they took the back seat of the bus, in the hopes that it’d let them stay in Gravity Falls for just a second longer. From that vantage point, there were able to watch everyone send them one final, tearful wave as the bus pulled away–
And Dipper and Mabel’s summer came to an end.
“I’ve got it! I finally got it!” Gideon proclaimed as he burst into the shack with his new journal in tow. He was beside himself with excitement over what he was set to claim now that both of the coveted books were his. “Get out!” He fiercely ordered his parents, who both rushed out of the den without a word.
“It’s finally mine!” Gideon rushed over to where he’d left the second journal. “At last, I have journal number-” He sharply cut himself off when he set the new book down, only to find a different number on its cover instead of the 1 he’d been expecting. “Three?! There are three of them?! But where is journal number one!? I must have all three of ‘em for the power to be unlocked! Where could it-”
Gideon stopped himself as another realization struck him. “Dipper! He must know where it is! He gave me the third one and kept the first for himself! I can’t let him leave Gravity Falls!”
Refusing to let any promise of ultimate power slip through his fingers, Gideon knew what needed to be done. He raced out of the shack with both journals in hand, stopping just shy of the recently-completed statue of himself. “You there!” He shouted up at Old Man McGucket, who had built the impressive machine from the ground up. “Is it ready?!”
“Heh, only one way to find out!” McGucket laughed. He pulled a lever on the statue’s head, bringing the complicated machinery inside to life. The statue’s– robot’s –eyes lit up as it jolted with energy, as sure a sign as ever that it was primed and ready to go.
Gideon had intended for the Crystal Gems to be the first targets of his robot’s power. But this would be more than enough of a test run to see what it was capable of. Knowing there wasn’t a moment to lose, Gideon entered the bot, putting his motion-sensor suit on in order to take control of the automaton. As designed, it followed his movements as he slammed the Gideonland statue it was holding into the ground. Gideon grinned twistedly as he guided his robot to action, pushing it ahead on its vengeful onslaught to the path heading out of town.
Meanwhile, McGucket stood by, watching with a satisfied smile, unaware of the devastation his creation was about to bring. “I’ve got a good feeling ‘bout that kid!”
“Well, Stan, this is it,” Stan lamented to himself, his head in his hands. After the bus had left, he’d retreated back to the temple, hoping to distract himself with a bit of TV. Not that anything could really take his mind off of that last, miserable look the twins had sent his way. “Rock bottom. No friends, no family, stuck watching infomercials for whatever that is…”
“Are you sick of piles of owls constantly blocking your driveway? Well then you gotta get Owl Trowel!”
Stan heaved a tired sigh as he set his sights on the Gideon pin sitting on the bed next to him. “How’d you do it, kid?” he asked, picking it up. “Why are you always one step ahead? Maybe he really is a psychic after-”
He stopped short at the sound of another high-pitched, painful whine. “Ah! My hearing aid! What keeps causing that?!” Stan groaned, annoyed. He paused, however, upon staring down to the pin in his hands. Curious, he pulled it closer to his ear, awestruck when his hearing aid screeched yet again. Just like last time. “Wait a minute! That’s it! I know Gideon’s weakness!”
“Stan,” Pearl began as she climbed up onto the loft. “If you’re going to be staying here for a while, there’s a few ground rules we need to-”
She cut herself off when Stan ran up to her, scarcely able to contain his excitement as he hugged her tight. By the time he let her go and ran out of the house, Pearl could only stand there, equally baffled and repulsed by whatever that was about.
Stan didn’t pay Steven or Connie any mind as he rushed past them on the porch before hopping into his car and speeding off. “I wonder where he’s going in such a hurry,” Connie said, confused.
“Maybe he’s going to chase after that bus and bring Dipper and Mabel back…” Steven muttered, slumping against the porch table.
“Aw, Steven,” Connie rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I miss them too… But look on the bright side; at least we got to say goodbye to them before they left.”
“We shouldn’t have had to,” Steven let out a frustrated huff. “They should have been able to stay here for the rest of the summer, Connie. It’s not fair!”
Connie couldn’t really argue against that, nor did she want to after losing two of the only friends she really had. “No, I guess you’re right,” she glanced down, dejected. “It’s really not.”
“We were supposed to have so much fun together!” Steven continued, distraught. “There were still so many Gem missions and mystery hunts for us to go on! And now they’ll never happen… It’s over… They’re gone…”
“If only we could have done more to help them,” Connie said. “Hanging out with you and Dipper and Mabel this summer has made me believe that pretty much anything is possible. That no challenge was too big or too dangerous to get through. But… I guess that isn’t always true; even the four of us working together wasn’t enough to get us through this time…”
Steven glumly nodded as he rusted his head against the table again. And yet, that table didn’t stay still for long as the entire temple began to suddenly shake from its very foundations.
“W-what was that?!” Connie exclaimed, struggling to stay in her chair. That was a battle Steven lost as he was sent tumbling out of his as the ground only continued rumbling violently. It was enough to bring all three of the Gems out of the house, each of them every bit as alarmed as Steven and Connie were.
“Kids, what’s going on?!” Pearl asked, eyes wide.
“Yeah, what’s with all the sha-aking?!” Amethyst tried to ask as another earthquake knocked her off her feet.
Before either Steven or Connie could try to answer, Garnet suddenly let out a strong, warning shout. “Look!” She pointed down at the shack. The group on the porch watched, stunned, as the massive statue built in Gideon’s image somehow ran towards the woods. It briefly stopped and spared a glance up at the temple, before it ripped a tree from the ground and brutally threw it their way.
Fortunately, Garnet lept into action just in time, punching the tree in half before it could hurt anyone. Even so, the “Gideonbot” continued on its way, surprisingly not even bothering to launch another attack on them. At least not yet anyway.
“The statue Gideon built down at the shack… I-it’s a giant robot?!” Steven asked, aghast.
“We can’t let Gideon take that thing into town!” Pearl exclaimed. “Who knows what kind of damage he might cause with something like that!”
“That’s not where he’s heading,” Garnet said. She adjusted her shades as she watched the robot as it disappeared into the woods in the opposite direction of town. “It seems like he’s going for the cliffs.”
“But why?” Connie asked.
“Hey, maybe he’s gonna do us a favor and toss that huge eyesore right off the cliff,” Amethyst said, scoffing.
“No,” Garnet let out a gap as her future vision provided her with the truth. A very frightening truth at that. “He’s going after Dipper and Mabel.”
“What?!” Pearl and Amethyst exclaimed, equally shocked.
“Oh no!” Steven cried. “Garnet, are you sure?”
“Positive,” Garnet nodded as her hands curled into tight, angry fists.
“W-well, we have to stop him!” Connie exclaimed. “He could really hurt them with that thing!”
“You two go on ahead,” Garnet told Steven and Connie. “We’ll catch up with you soon.”
The pair shared a resolved nod, more than ready to do whatever they had to to help their friends. To this end, Steven called upon Lion, knowing they’d need his speed on their side if they ever hoped to catch up to the Gideonbot. “Ok, Lion,” he said as he helped Connie onto his pink steed’s back. “Let’s go save Dipper and Mabel!”
Lion let out a fierce roar as he ran off, leaving the Gems behind. “So, what are we gonna do?” Amethyst asked the question she and Pearl were both thinking.
Fortunately, like always, Garnet had a plan. She held her hands out to her teammates, the gemstones on both of her palms already glowing. “Gems,” she said as they took her hands. As they prepared to come together to save what they all cared so much about. “Let’s synchronize.”
The further the bus got out of town, the lower the sun seemed to sink in the sky. As if Dipper or Mabel really needed yet another reminder that their all-to-short time in Gravity Falls was, much like the day itself, coming to a close.
Much of the ride so far had been steeped in sorrowful silence. But as they finally passed the town’s iconic water tower, Dipper broke that silence with a thought neither one of them wanted to face. “Everything’s going to be so much worse when we get home,” he muttered, not even glancing over at his sister. “There’s no way it won’t be.”
Mabel winced, but she still forced on a small, hopeful smile, more for herself than her brother. “You don’t know that. Mom and Dad have had a few weeks by themselves. Who knows? They might’ve worked things out by now-”
“Knowing them?” Dipper quietly, bitterly scoffed. “Not a chance.”
For a moment, Mabel said nothing as she loosely hugged herself. She nearly extended that hug to her brother, but ultimately didn’t. Instead, she resorted to a different tactic–trying her best to distract them both from what they were only hours away from facing. “W-well, we don’t have to think about all that heavy junk right now. Wanna play bus seat treasure hunt instead?”
“I’m not in the mood,” Dipper said, sighing.
“Aw, come on!” Mabel encouraged. She pulled the seat next to her up, listing out what she found under it. “We got Canadian coins… gum that’s shaped like Ronald Reagan’s head… and ooh! Miscellaneous fluid stain?”
“Giant robot!”
“Yeah, a giant robot” Mabel stopped short, puzzled, when she realized what her brother had just said. “Wait, what?”
“Look!” Dipper pointed out the back window. And there, sure enough, was a giant Gideon-shaped robot, chasing after the bus in a heated pursuit.
“Halt!” Gideon’s voice rang out fiercely from the rampaging machine. “I command you to halt!”
Unsure of what else to do, the twins ran to the front of the bus, terrified by such a shocking turn of events. “Mr. Bus driver!” Mabel cried, panicked. “There’s a giant Gideonbot coming for us!”
“Oh hey, dudes!” Soos greeted as he turned to face the kids from his spot in the driver’s seat.
“Soos?!” the twins exclaimed, surprised, yet relieved to see a familiar face.
“What are you doing here?” Dipper asked, confused.
“Well, since the Mystery Shack shut down, I’ve had to take on a bunch of part time jobs,” Soos explained. “Don’t worry, I’ve been a bus driver for at least 40 minutes now. One of these is probably a clutch…”
Fortunately, he found the clutch just in time, warning the twins to hang on as the bus picked up speed. From their spot a few seats back, they were able to see the Gideonbot reaching for the vehicle. It only narrowly missed thanks to Soos swerving the bus at the last second, though Gideon was never one to give up that easily.
“Soos, look out!” Mabel warned. Without warning, the Gideonbot easily leapt over the bus, landing just up the road to block the path ahead.
Acting quickly, Soos spun the wheel, veering off the road and onto a dirt path that led toward the floating cliffs. With Gideon still relentlessly on their tail, they couldn’t even think of stopping, not even as the bus smashed through a “road closed” sign.
“I don’t understand. He already won!” Dipper said, exchanging a fearful glance with Mabel. “What does he want from us?!”
As alarming as the robot behind them was, the twins soon found they had something else to worry about when they looked ahead. “Soos, cliff!” Dipper warned as they came up to the edge at intense speeds. Soos floored the breaks, but even that wasn’t enough to keep the bus from spinning wildly out of control. By some miracle, it finally grinded to a halt right before it could plummet over the cliff altogether, leaving it precariously teetering just on the edge.
There was no time for any of them to even breathe a sigh of relief, however. Because with a mere tug on the bus’ roof, the Gideonbot ripped it clean off as if it were nothing. For his part, Soos quickly began leafing through the bus’ emergency manual, hoping to find some sort of solution there. “Okay, what’s closest to our present situation? Raccoon in the engine or angry grandparent won’t leave the bus? P-probably the second one.”
It didn’t take long for Gideon to notice neither of the twins were still inside of the bus. Instead, they’d taken the opportunity to slip away onto the train bridge connecting the floating cliffs below. They didn’t get far before the Gideonbot slammed onto the bridge just ahead of them, blocking any hope of escape.
“Tell me!” Gideon demanded as his robot towered over them both. “Where is journal #1?!”
Dipper and Mabel could only exchange a glance at this, completely confused. “Journal #1?”
“Don’t play games with me, boy!” The Gideonbot’s fist struck the cliff right above the twins. As a rain of stone and shrapnel rained down, Dipper made sure to block Mabel from the brunt of it. Still, there wasn’t much else he could do to shield either of them from Gideon’s inexplicable wrath.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Dipper shouted. “You took the only journal I ever had! What do you even want with these journals anyway?!”
“That is none of your concern!” Gideon harshly returned. “If you won’t tell me where that first journal is, then I’ll find it myself!”
Suddenly, the Gideonbot brought both of its massive hands down, snatching up Dipper and Mabel before they could even think of escaping. While they tried to stay together, Gideon easily separated them, holding one twin tight in each of his robot’s metallic hands. Something in Dipper snapped when he heard Mabel let out a particularly shrill shriek–possibly from the robot squeezing her too hard, though it could have just been out of fear. Whatever the reason, Dipper wasn’t about to let it go on as he began beating against the hand keeping him away from his sister. “Let go of her!”
“Ha!” Gideon only laughed at this demand. “You still think you’re some kind of hero?! You ain’t NOTHING!”
With that, the robot suddenly tossed Dipper aside. While still in its grip, Mabel could only watch, horrified, as her brother landed on the other cliff, hitting the ground hard before his head brutally struck a stray rock. Pain exploded across his vision, all but briefly blacking him out. When he came to a moment later, his nose was bleeding, his back was aching, his body felt heavy, and his sister–
His sister was being carried off against her will.
“Once I find that final journal, I’ll rule this town with you as my queen!” Gideon victoriously proclaimed to Mabel. “And I think I’ll begin my reign with shatterin’ three pesky Gems and their annoyin’ little prodigy!”
Mabel gasped, eyes wide, when she realized she wasn’t the only one in danger here. Steven, the Gems, perhaps the entire town could be at stake if Gideon wasn’t somehow stopped. “Dipper!” she cried, desperately trying to pull herself out of the robot’s grip. “Help me!”
Her panicked cry alone was more than enough for Dipper to shove himself to his feet, swaying a bit as he tried to steady himself. He approached the edge of the cliff, all while realizing his time and options were quickly running out. Once again, Gideon’s vicious words filled his thoughts, cutting him deeper than ever: “No muscles, no brains. Face it! You’re nothin’ without this journal.”
It all only continued to echo as Dipper took a small step back, his breath hitching and his chest tightening. Gideon was only getting further and further away with Mabel in tow and yet–he couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t do anything . Not without the journal, which he’d been lucky to stumble across in the first place. But on his own? He didn’t have Mabel’s creativity, Steven’s compassion, or Connie’s cleverness. So what did he have instead?
Nothing. He had nothing, just like Gideon had said.
And yet…
Even if he had nothing, that didn’t mean he couldn’t do something .
And so, acting on impulse and desperation alone, Dipper took in a deep breath, ran to the edge of the cliff–and leaped .
He propelled himself through the air with a loud, determined shout, hoping that gravity would take care of the rest. For one breathless, terrifying moment, he felt like he was flying –until he crashed straight into one of the Gideonbot’s glass eyes. Dipper broke through it, feeling the sting of shattering glass lacerating his skin, but he hardly cared about that. He hardly cared about anything right now, other than saving his sister and stopping the one who had stolen so much from his family.
Dipper’s feet barely even hit the ground before he barreled straight into Gideon, tackling him to the ground. Mabel yelped as the Gideonbot reeled backward on the narrow bridge. It only continued to stumble as a brutal brawl broke out inside the robot’s head as both sides struggled for control.
“Let go of my sister!” Dipper demanded. He held Gideon down, landing a direct punch to his jaw, one that sent the robot’s head spinning.
“Never!” Gideon shouted back, as she shoved Dipper down and returned the favor. “I finally won this time!”
The fight only continued from there, made even more apparent from the way the Gideonbot clumsily reeled around the bridge. This was the chaotic scene Steven and Connie arrived to find as Lion came to a stop on top of the cliff alongside the stalled bus.
“Whoa!” they both exclaimed, bewildered as they watched the Gideonbot inexplicably flail about.
“What’s going on?” Connie asked Soos.
“Dude, I’m gonna level with you and say I have, like, no idea,” he admitted with a shrug.
“Steven! Connie!” Mabel shouted the second she caught sight of them.
“Mabel!” Steven cried down to her. “Don’t worry! We’ll save you!”
“Wait, where’s Dipper?!” Connie asked, not spotting him in the robot’s other hand.
“He’s-” Mabel was cut off when the Gideonbot veered back once again. Inside of its head, Dipper had just thrown another jab Gideon’s way, one that he sent back just as fiercely. Despite his size, Gideon hit surprisingly hard, but Dipper ignored the bruise forming on his jaw in favor of catching his next swing with his open palm. He was more than ready to turn it right back on his opponent–only for a sudden, booming rumbling outside to catch them both off guard.
“Huh? What’s-” Steven’s confusion was cut off as he and Connie turned to see the source of this commotion. They watched, jaws dropped, as a massive figure ran their way. She was a titan of a woman, with magenta skin, teal hair, and six powerful arms. She arrived on the cliffside, her anger thinly concealed under her dark shades as she let out a furious roar through not just one mouth, but two.
“GIDEON!” she snarled, her voice deep and mighty. The battle inside of the Gideonbot came to a total standstill at the arrival of such an intimidating being as Dipper and Gideon both stopped and stared at her, dumbfounded.
“W-who is that?!” Dipper asked, alarmed.
“No…” Gideon began, completely floored. Because by all accounts, it was as though the ferocious fusion had stepped out of the pages of the second journal itself. “It can’t be…. It’s-”
“Alexandrite!” Steven gasped in realization. It had taken a moment to spot everyone’s gemstones, but sure enough, they were all there, all shining in harmony to protect the ones they all held dear.
With another bold shout, Alexandrite jumped down onto the bridge to square off against the Gideonbot face-to-face. “Let them go!” she sharply shouted. “NOW!”
In an instant, Gideon broke out of his shock. Instead, he shifted into a dark smirk as he shoved Dipper aside in favor of focusing on the fusion before him. “Well, well… If it isn’t all three of the Crystal Gems, fused into one. Looks like I’ll get to kill two—or rather, several —birds with one stone!” His sinister smile only deepened as he geared up for the decisive battle ahead. “Are you ladies itchin’ for a fight? Well, I’ll be more than happy to oblige!”
The Gideonbot threw the first blow, catching Alexandrite off guard as she stumbled back across the bridge. Still, she was nothing if not resilient as she charged at the robot, using her several sets of arms to push it back into the side of the cliff. Gideon’s attempt at swinging back at her was cut off when Alexandrite caught the robot’s first, all while another one of her ample arms landed a solid uppercut.
“Yeah! Go, Alexandrite!” Steven cheered from his spot on the sidelines.
“This is seriously the coolest thing I’ve ever seen,” Connie said, eyes wide.
“Tell me about it, dude,” Soos agreed, just as awestruck.
By now, Alexandrite made an attempt at freeing Mabel from the robot’s hold, only for the Gideonbot to yank her out of her reach. Frustrated, Gideon shoved the fusion away, hoping to go in from a different angle. Before he remembered Alexandrite wasn’t the only one he had to worry about.
Before Gideon could even throw another punch, Dipper tackled him once more, slamming him to the floor. Outside, Alexandrite watched, confused, as the robot tilted dangerously to the side, its head spinning all the while. Despite this, Dipper did his best to hold his own, blocking swings and staying as steady as he could manage. It was only as Gideon kicked him squarely in the chest and into the metal wall behind him that his injuries began to get the better of him. His vision tunneled and his limbs shook, to the point that he struggled to keep himself up. A struggle that came to a swift end when Gideon kicked him once more.
“Ha! Stay down, boy!” Gideon smirked as he watched Dipper fall, barely conscious, to the floor. “Maybe that’ll teach ya. Now, back to the main event-”
Gideon stiffened, alarm overtaking his expression when he glanced back up to Alexandrite. Using her many arms, she summoned Pearl’s spear and Amethyst’s whip, before bringing them together to form Opal’s mighty longbow. She summoned an arrow of pure light, pulling her bowstring taunt as she took aim straight at the Gideonbot’s face. She was completely set to fire, until-
“Wait! Stop!” Mabel cried, looking to Alexandrite in a pleading panic. “Dipper’s in there!”
The arrow missed its target; Alexandrite made sure of that as she shifted her aim just in time. Even so, that was all the ammunition Gideon needed as yet another twisted idea came to mind. “Looks like you might actually be useful after all, boy.” He grinned as he Dipper by the wrist and hoisted him up off the ground. With his head pounding and his chest heaving for air, there wasn’t much he could do to resist him, as much as he may have wanted to.
“Listen here, Crystal Gems!” Gideon shouted. “Either you three stand down, unfuse, and leave town forever, or… I’ll throw Dipper Pines out of this robot and off this bridge into the chasm below! Now, which’ll it be?”
“What?!” Mabel started, shocked at such a deadly threat. “No! Dipper!” Fearful tears filled her eyes as she tried harder than ever to pull herself free from the robot’s grasp, desperate to help him before it was too late. After all, the thought of losing him, especially after he’d so selflessly tried to rescue her, was more than she could bear.
Likewise, Alexandrite froze, at a sudden loss over what to do. Her longbow vanished as her components desperately searched for a solution that would somehow save Dipper, finding none they could soundly agree on. As a result, it wasn’t long before indecisiveness gave way to instability.
Alexandrite jolted, her form flickering with sudden light as the Gems who made her began to fall out of sync with each other. “No!” she ordered herself. It wasn’t lost on anyone how her once-singular voice was starting to split into three, just like the rest of her. “Cooperate!”
Even from a distance, Steven could tell things weren’t going well. Fortunately, he was quick to come up with a backup plan. He leaned in low, whispering in Lion’s ear. This time, he actually listened, letting out a gruff growl as he took off running away from the edge of the cliff with Steven and Connie in tow. All without Gideon even noticing.
Instead, Gideon was much more focused on watching Alexandrite fall to pieces. Dipper was watching too, overwhelmed with fear when he realized the Gems wouldn’t be able to save him.
Which meant he had no choice but to save himself this time.
It took a tremendous amount of effort, but he forced himself to move, despite his body’s painful protesting. Still, he managed to wrench his arm out of Gideon’s grasp before, just as quickly, pulling both of his opponents’ hands behind his back. “Hey!” Gideon shouted, trying and failing to break free. “How dare you-”
“You guys!” Dipper shouted to Alexandrite through Gideon’s mic. “Hit him! Now!”
That was all Alexandrite needed to hear. In an instant, they pulled themselves together, remembering exactly what they were fighting for. With this newfound momentum, Alexandrite struck the Gideonbot squarely in the gut. As it stumbled backward from the blow, Dipper pulled Gideon hard to the side, shifting the robot’s center of gravity until one of its feet slipped over the side of the bridge. Unable to right itself, the entire machine began to dangerously tilt, and while Alexandrite reached out to catch it, she was ultimately too late–
Too late to stop the Gideonbot from slipping right off the side of the bridge.
Now in a freefall, the robot descended toward the valley below at a frightening speed. Its grip on Mabel finally loosened, not that she saw much relief as she was left careening to the ground just the same. At the same time, Dipper fell out of the robot’s head through the same eye he’d shattered through earlier. The twins could only share a terrified cry as they caught each other in the air, knowing that wouldn’t be enough to save them. Still, Mabel hoped that something else would.
Acting fast, she reached into her sweater and grabbed her grappling hook. Before Dipper could even ask, Mabel fired it straight up at the bridge above them–only to end up missing it by just a few short inches. The twins watched, dismayed, as the hook began to fall back down toward them–until a flash of light sparked through the air and a familiar pink beast emerged from it.
“Lion! Catch!” Steven pointed at the falling hook. Lion did just that, gliding through the air to catch the rope just before the hook in his maw. With a heavy tug, he pulled his head up, flinging both of the twins upward. They landed squarely behind Connie on Lion’s back, and as soon as they did, Lion roared another portal into existence and leapt through it.
As the Gideonbot finally crashed to the ground, the resounding explosion was loud and bright enough to catch the attention of nearly everyone in Gravity Falls. As the smoke cleared, a chaotic crash site was left behind as the robot’s mangled remains lay smoldering far beneath the bridge. Amidst these ruins, Lion emerged from another portal with the kids in tow, all finally safe and sound.
“Grappling hook!” Mabel triumphantly held her tool high. “Told you it would come in handy!”
“You did great too, Lion,” Steven patted Lion on the head as he collapsed to the ground, completely exhausted. “Take all the time you need to rest.”
“Speaking of great, how about this guy!” Mabel proudly pointed at Dipper. “Taking on a giant robot like a total boss!”
“Aw, come on, Mabel,” Dipper let out a bashful laugh. It soon turned into a pained hiss as he rested a hand against the back of his still heavily-aching head.
“Uh, are you ok, Dipper?” Connie asked, concerned.
“Well, to be honest, pretty much everything hurts,” Dipper admitted, gently rubbing his lightly bleeding arm. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I probably have a concussion and might need stitches in a few places. But I’m sure it’s nothing Steven and his, uh, healing spit can’t fix, right?”
Stars were in Steven’s eyes as he gasped, giving Dipper an excited hug. “Of course, Dipper! I’d be more than happy to heal you up!”
“Ok, ow!” Dipper cried. “Like I said, everything still hurts, Steven! You haven’t healed me yet!”
“Oh, sorry!” Steven pulled back, blushing. That blush only deepened when he heard Mabel and Connie laughing behind him.
“Oh, there they are!”
The kids turned to find Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl rushing in. They’d unfused at some point; understandable now that the threat the Gideonbot posed was no more. “Oh, kids!” Pearl threw her arms over them in a relieved embrace. “We’re so glad you’re all alright!”
“Well, mostly alright,” Connie said, exchanging a glance with Dipper.
“Man, that thing went down hard, huh?” Amethyst looked over the remains of the Gideonbot. “We totally owned that slimy punk and his dumb robot!”
“We weren’t completely responsible for that…” Garnet said. She picked up the third journal as it lay amidst the wreckage before handing it back to Dipper with a small smile. “Excellent work, Dipper. I believe this belongs to you.”
“Thanks,” Dipper gratefully accepted the book. Simply having its familiar, brittle leather surface in his hands again filled him with unspeakable relief. Especially after he’d come so close to losing it forever.
“You guys were so cool!” Mabel told the Gems, amazed. “Or I guess I should say, Alexandrite was so cool! She was like ‘bam’! And ‘woosh’! And ‘punch’! And all sorts of other awesome actiony words!”
The Gems shared a warm laugh, one that was short-lived as others began to congregate to the crash site. The townsfolk, curious to see the cause of the explosion, approached the robot’s wreckage, murmuring in confusion amongst themselves.
“Is this the thing that exploded?”
“Look! It’s over here!”
“Hey, those magical women are here!”
“Did they have something to do with this?”
As this group began to gather, Gideon slowly, sullenly climbed out of the remains of his robot, tearing off what was left of his motion-sensor suit. The moment the townsfolk spotted him, the Gems and the kids were left forgotten as everyone crowded around the beloved child psychic instead.
“Gideon!” Durland cried as he and Blubs rushed to retrieve Gideon from the robot’s ruins. “Oh, good heavens! What on earth happened here?!”
“I-it was the Pines twins!” Gideon hotly exclaimed. “They tried to attack me and blow up my statue with dynamite! And then those Crystal Gems pushed it off the bridge and nearly killed me! Arrest ‘em! Arrest ‘em all!”
“What?!” The kids and the Gems exchanged a baffled glance at such bold, dishonest claims.
“Officers, he’s lying!” Dipper argued.
“He certainly is!” Pearl firmly agreed. “You can’t possibly believe such a preposterous claim. We were trying to save the kids–and the entire town– from him, for crying out loud!”
“Pearl’s right!” Steven turned to the crowd, earnestly imploring them. “I mean, just think about how many times the Gems have saved Gravity Falls before! Like the time we brought the waterfall back when it was stolen! Remember that?”
A wave of soft agreement rippled through the crowd as they considered what Steven had to say. Gideon, however, wasn’t about to let it last long. “W-well, even if that is true, that doesn’t change the fact that they destroyed my property! I demand you arrest them! Every last one of them, at once!”
Unfortunately for the kids and the Gems, Gideon’s argument proved to be far more convincing. As devoted as they were to him, there was little they could do to change their minds now. To the point that the cops simply shrugged and turned back to the group with handcuffs in hand, ready to do exactly as Gideon told them.
“Aw, what? You can’t be serious!” Amethyst angrily exclaimed. “We didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Sorry, folks, but we trust Gideon,” Blubs said. “And nothing short of a miracle would ever change our-”
The sound of screeching tires cut the sheriff off as a familiar car veered onto the scene, ramming into the side of the cop car. Stan hardly cared as he jumped out, clad in his boxers and bedroom slippers as he loudly caught everyone’s attention. “Wait! Wait! Stop everything! I’ve got somethin’ to say!”
“Ugh, not this guy again…” Blubs shared an annoyed groan with the rest of the crowd.
“Just wait!” Stan ran to stand in front of the ruined robot. “So, you all think Gideon is so perfect and honest , right? ‘Oh, I could never tell a lie! I’m Gideon!’”
“He’s more honest than you !” Blubs countered, sending Stan a suspicious glance.
“Yeah! And he’s psychic too!” Durland added.
“Oh really? How’s this for psychic?!” Stan kicked a panel of the robot away. “Take a good look!”
The crowd drew in a shared gasp as they realized what they were looking at. Inside of the robot were countless small screens, all showing what appeared to be surveillance feeds of the people of Gravity Falls.
“Wait a minute, is that me ?!” Lazy Susan exclaimed, spotting a screen showing her pouring coffee into an omelet to make her famous coffee omelet.
“Hey, look! That’s me!” Mr. Smiley shouted, aghast, as he saw a video of him signing a notice to add several new games to Funland Arcade.
“And me!” Toby pointed to the screen where he was showing his disgusting birthmark to a doctor.
The other townsfolk were quick to spot themselves on other screens, alarmed and horrified by what they were seeing. “That’s right! These pins were hidden cameras!” Stan held a Lil’ Gideon pin up for them all to see. “And my hearing aid was picking up the feedback! Who’s the fraud now?”
With a satisfied grin, Stan crushed the pin, revealing the tiny camera hidden inside. The very same camera that all of Gideon’s pins had been hiding, all meant to constantly watch his adoring public, without any of them even knowing.
“Gideon… we gave you our trust…” Durland said, deeply hurt.
“You LIED to us!” Manly Dan shouted, enraged.
“P-please!” Gideon pleaded. “I… I—It’s not what it looks like! I-”
“Oh, it's not?” Pearl coyly cut in. “Because what it does look like is that not only were you blatantly spying on the people of Gravity Falls, but it also looks like you used a giant robot to chase down two defenseless, innocent children, nearly killing them both in the process. And then you proceeded to try and pin the blame on us for it. So, I believe this is exactly what it looks like. Wouldn’t you officers agree?”
Blubs and Durland could only nod in sad agreement over what they knew they had to do. “Lil’ Gideon, you’re under arrest for conspiracy, fraud, use of a giant, deadly robot, and breaking our hearts,” Blubs said, wiping a tear away. “Durland, the tiny handcuffs.”
“Wha–no!” Gideon cried as the handcuffs were latched around his wrists. Despite the overwhelming evidence against him, he still struggled as the cops led him over to the squad car. “Let go of me!”
Stan smirked as held the door to the cop car open for Gideon. Still, he stopped him short, picking his rival up to shake him dry first. Among everything else that fell out of Gideon’s pockets was the deed to the Mystery Shack, which Stan was more than happy to rightfully reclaim. “I believe this belongs to me.”
“No! No!” Gideon protested as he was shoved into the back of the cop car. “You can’t do this to me! Y’all are sheep! You need me!” He only continued to throw out hateful threats, even as the cops began to drive him away to prison. “You’ll hear from my lawyers! I’ll be back! I’ll destroy the Pines family and the Crystal Gems alike, I swear it!”
“Sooo… what are the chances we’ll actually hear from him again anytime soon?” Amethyst asked Garnet.
“Not likely,” Garnet adjusted her shades with a confident grin.
“There you have it,” Shandra Jimenez reported as she stood before the Pines and the Gems. “Local hero Stanford Pines has just exposed Lil’ Gideon as a fraud after the Crystal Gems took down his giant robot of doom. Is there anything any of you would like to say?”
“Well,” Pearl began. “Firstly, I think it’s important to note that we-”
“The Mystery Shack is back, baby!” Stan boldly interrupted. Despite this, the kids and the Gems shared a joyful laugh, all of them more than ready to pick things up right where they had left off.
Because now, at long last, the storm was finally over.
With the reclaimed deed in hand, the Pines easily moved back into the Mystery Shack, tossing out anything Gideon had left behind in the process. The Gems, Steven, and Connie were all happy to help them restore the shack back to working order. And, as soon as its doors opened for business again, it was more popular than ever before.
With Stan now hailed as a town hero for exposing Gideon, locals and tourists alike were eager to get his autograph and tour the museum. Soos and Wendy gladly returned to their usual posts, even if the sudden rush made their jobs quite busy. And above all, Dipper and Mabel were able to breathe a sigh of relief, knowing the rest of their summer in Gravity Falls was safe and secured.
With so much to celebrate, the twins had barely found time to properly move back into their room in the attic. Steven and Connie had come down to help, joining Dipper and Mabel in reorganizing books and rehanging posters. It wasn’t long before a knock on the door sounded, with Stan and the Gems entering soon after it.
“Uh, you kiddos settling back in okay?” Stan sent the twins a small, content grin.
“Yep!” Mabel brightly nodded. “All of my favorite moldy spots on the ceiling are still there!”
“We just came by to tell you kids how proud we are of all of you,” Pearl said, smiling. “You all were very brave in a situation that, to be perfectly honest, even had the three of us a little frightened at times.”
“Yeah, you dudes totally kicked butt!” Amethyst smirked. “Guess they call you four the Mystery Kids for a reason, huh?”
“Yeah, they do!” Steven proudly exclaimed.
“Um, speaking of mysteries…” Dipper hesitantly spoke up as Stan took a seat on the bed next to him. “Well… me and Mabel have been talking and… I think there’s something we should finally tell you.”
He took a deep breath as he reached into his vest and pulled out the journal. To his surprise, Stan didn’t seem to react to it much, at least not compared to how the Gems had before. “This is a journal I found in the woods,” he handed it over to his uncle so he could peruse it for himself. “It talks about all of the crazy stuff that lives in Gravity Falls, including the Gems. Gideon nearly destroyed the whole town trying to find it. I don’t know what it means, or who wrote it, but after all we’ve been through, maybe it’s time you knew about it.”
For a long while, Stan didn’t say anything as he looked through the journal. When he finally did speak, it came in the form of a question posed to the Gems. “So you three knew about this thing already, huh?”
“Well, we didn’t at first…” Pearl admitted, frowning. “But when we did discover it, it came as quite a shock, seeing as there’s quite a bit in there about the three of us.”
“Yeah… We might have overreacted over it and tried to burn it,” Amethyst shrugged. “You know, like you do.”
For his part, Stan fell into silence once more, this time only for a beat or two as he closed the book and took in a deep breath. “I’m glad you showed me this, Dipper,” he said, his tone surprisingly solemn. Until he suddenly burst out laughing . “Now I know where you’ve been getting it all from! Spookums and monsters—this kooky book has been filling your head with crazy conspiracies!”
“Wha—but it’s all real!” Dipper protested.
“Dipper’s right, Mr. Pines,” Connie vouched.
Steven readily joined in. “Yeah! We’ve seen a lot of the stuff in there this summer! Plus, everything in it about the Gems is true too! Right guys?”
While the Gems nodded, Stan simply chuckled as he flashed a sarcastic smirk. “Oh, yeah sure it is. You kids gotta quit reading this fantasy nonsense for your own good. Although some of these would make great attractions!” He nodded to the page about the butternut squash with a human face and emotions. “Can’t come up with this stuff! Mind if I borrow this for a while?”
“Wait, no!” Dipper panicked as Stan got up, taking the journal with him. “Grunkle Stan!”
“’Magic’ book,” Stan scoffed as he left the attic. “Ridiculous!”
“Stan, I need it!” Dipper cried, ready to chase him down and get it back. At least until Mabel stopped him.
“Dipper, you don’t need that book! Don’t you see? On your own, you defeated a giant robot with nothing but your bare hands! You’re a hero whether you’ve got that journal or not!”
“Mabel’s right,” Garnet soundly agreed. “The courage and determination you showed in facing off against Gideon the other day was something that you couldn’t have found in the pages of that journal. That was entirely your own, Dipper. And that is something to be proud of.”
“Yeah!” Steven and Connie cheered.
“Definitely,” Pearl nodded with a warm smile.
“Totally, dude!” Amethyst grinned, softly punching him on the arm.
“Whoa…” Dipper whispered, realizing they were all right . That when push came to shove, he’d risen to the occasion to help the ones he cared about. He always would–journal or no journal. “Thanks, guys… But, I still want the journal back though.”
“I’m sure you’ll get it back,” Mabel assured. “What would a boring old man like Stan want with that book anyway?”
“Knowing Stan, he’ll probably end up using it as a door stopper,” Pearl chuckled.
“Or a paperweight,” Garnet said, crossing her arms.
“Or he’ll try using it as a weapon during our next Revenge Trip,” Amethyst smirked. “Yo, speaking of trips, we were gonna go check out this cool old Gem tower later. You guys wanna come with?”
“Do we!?” Steven exclaimed, beaming.
“Yeah, we do!” Mabel happily agreed.
“Well then, come along,” Pearl laughed as she led the way out. “That tower’s not going to explore itself!”
The kids happily followed them out, excited for whatever magical adventure awaited. Especially now that they knew, more than ever before–
They had plenty of summer left to spend together .
The shack was quiet that night, something Stan was grateful for. Under the cover of quiet darkness, he slipped into the gift shop, making sure no prying eyes were watching as he dialed the code into the vending machine. And, just as he had almost every night for the past 30 years, he descended the staircase into the hidden basement below.
It had been nothing short of a miracle Gideon didn’t discover this, not that Stan had expected him to be smart enough to anyway. As it stood, he was still the only one who knew about the complex laboratory awaiting in the depths beneath the shack. He was the only one who knew about the momentous machine standing just beyond it.
Stan took a seat at the desk, setting the third journal down alongside the second book he’d snatched from Gideon when no one was looking. As for the first, he’d had it for years now, only one piece of a puzzle he’d been struggling for so long to put together. But now…
“After all these years…” he muttered to himself, utterly awestruck. “Finally, I have them all.”
Finally, after spending so much time searching, scheming, hoping, waiting. Finally, the one journal Rose Quartz herself had vowed he’d never claimed… had somehow been found by his own nephew. Somehow it was sitting right in front of him alongside the others. Somehow, at long last, he’d completed the set he’d always needed.
Without waiting any longer, Stan turned each book to the proper page, arranging them in the right order. The schematics they revealed were complicated, but he hadn’t spent the past several decades teaching himself all he needed to know for nothing. He followed the journals’ instructions, punching in the right codes and pushing the right buttons until–
For the first time in 30 years, the machine sparked with life.
“It’s working!” He jumped to his feet, running into the larger room. With as much force as he could muster, he pulled the lever standing before it, allowing even more energy to pass through. It wasn’t ready quite yet–chances were, it wouldn’t be for quite some time. But for now, Stan could only smile as he basked in its bright, momentous glow, knowing everything he’d ever worked for was finally about to pay off.
“Here we go.”
Notes:
Next time... anybody up for a little kareoke?
Chapter 22: Scary-Oke
Summary:
The Pines and the Gems band together to defeat an undead threat... with the power of music!
Notes:
Oh boy, we're really rolling alon here in new UF, huh? Hard to believe we're already at this point, but I'm glad we are. I always really liked this chapter so you probably won't notice a ton of changes here, but I still think its a fun read reguardless. Anyway, with that outta they way, lets sing away some zombies and get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
ASZFIXZ SVQ TBEJR, O EPVK YKWPFA
VAMUUOO SMS ZAVL EFC GFSWRY
ASZFIXZ SVQ TPEUJ, O EFKVWS VUEMW
LGS EIIHGV CR TWQWSVUOO KGMS ISWRY
Under the cover of night, Gravity Falls slept silently, peacefully. Or at least, most of the town did.
Tonight, Steven and Greg had stayed up for a movie marathon. Nestled into a cozy pile of blankets in the back of his father’s van, Steven kept his eyes trained on the monster flick playing on the tiny TV. Despite the film’s cheap effects, he still gasped when the hero landed the finishing blow on the last of the zombies pursuing his group.
“Oh man, that was the scariest movie we’ve watched tonight yet! I wonder if real-life zombies would be as terrifying as that one.”
“Eh, probably not, Schtu-ball,” Greg shrugged, smirking. “I mean, that zombie was pretty slow. The guys in the movie could’ve outran him if they’d gone at more than just a light jog.”
“Oh yeah? And how would you know?” Steven flashed his father a challenging grin. “Have you ever outran a zombie, Dad?”
“Can’t say I have,” Greg chuckled. “And I wouldn’t really want to either.”
“Well, what about any of the other monsters here in Gravity Falls? You’ve lived here for a super long time-”
“I’ve only been here for 26 years, Steven. Then again, I guess that is a pretty long time…” Greg frowned. “Yikes. I’m getting old.”
“Exactly!” Steven agreed. “You’ve been around long enough to see all the cool stuff here. Have you ever been chased by gnomes? Or high-fived a manotaur? Or hugged a werewolf?!”
“O-oh well, uh, I don’t know about all that…” Greg rubbed the back of his neck. “Your mom and the Gems usually would handle all that supernatural stuff. I’ve always figured it’s best not to get involved with it.”
“Aw, but you could have totally helped them, Dad! It would be so cool to see you fighting alongside me and the Gems using—wait for it…” Steven tapped the side of the van, creating a suspenseful drumroll before finishing with, “The power of music!”
“Heh, well, I’m not really sure what good the ‘power of music’ would do against a werewolf or a zombie,” Greg grinned. “Still, it’s good to know you still think your old man is cool enough to keep up with the best of them.”
Steven laughed as his father pulled him into a playful noogie. As sweet of a moment as it was, it was soon interrupted by a stark, bright flash of light flooding in through the van’s back windows. “Whoa!” Steven broke free from his father’s arms, crawling over to get a better look. Only to find nothing but darkness surrounding the temple outside. “What was that?”
“Eh, must have been a flash of heat lightning,” Greg said. But when he stole a glance out the front window, the sight of the Mystery Shack at the base of the hill quickly proved him wrong. Another, duller pulse of blue light flickered from the ramshackle old building. Greg’s heart practically sunk to his stomach when he saw it; he knew all too well what it meant.
He knew all too well what his former boss had been trying–and was still trying–to do.
“Uh, h-hey, Steven!” He drew his son’s attention away before he could notice. “How’s about we pop another one of these movies in, huh? This next one has a mummified cow on the cover.”
“Oh! You mean The Cowwy !?” Steven happily plopped back down into the blankets. “That’s one of my favorites! Put it in! Put it in!”
“Way ahead of you, kiddo,” Greg did just that before settling back in alongside his son.
Still, he couldn’t help but spare one last glance out the window, to the shack engulfed in unnatural light at the bottom of the hill. Somewhere beneath that shack sat a secret, and a well-guarded one at that. A secret Rose had whispered warnings to him about, far out of anyone else’s earshot. A secret Stan had all but begged him to keep, no matter how risky it might be. A secret that seemed to linger even now, after so much time had passed, after so much had changed.
Greg could only wonder, as he watched the shack flicker from the ground up once again… just how much else could that secret still stand to change?
Stan was no stranger to late nights spent in solitude. He’d had plenty over the past several decades, hard at work in the lab buried far beneath the shack. Work that finally felt like it was actually going somewhere now that he had a full set of journals on his side.
Still, that didn’t mean his work wasn’t any less taxing or trying. Decoding the journals’ advanced notes and blueprints was a feat in and of itself, but Stan was used to that by now. What he wasn’t used to was working on something so massive, so blatantly dangerous with his niece and nephew, asleep and unknowing, just a few floors above it all.
He tried not to focus on that as much as he could help it. Instead, he allowed himself a smile when he noticed the machine’s energy levels continue to steadily climb. “Thirty long years and it’s all led up to this. My greatest achievement!” Stan grinned as he basked in the machine’s intense light. His smile quickly faded when he glanced down at boxers. “Probably should have worn pants.”
As unstable as it was, the machine was prone to spitting out the occasional burst of fire or two. Stan barely flinched as one such flame struck him in the shoulder. He quickly patted it out before it could cause any reel damage. “Feisty. I like it!” he smirked as he headed back into the control room. From there, he continued working, watching the monitors above the desk like a hawk for any hopeful signs. There weren’t any, but he’d been expecting as much this early on. Besides, he still had plenty of time left.
“If I finally pull this off, it’ll all have been worth it…” Stan sighed as he sunk into his seat behind the desk. His excitement shifted to smug satisfaction as he flipped through journal 3, landing on a page with a sketch of Rose Quartz herself. “Hmph. And you said I wouldn’t be able to do it. Shows what you knew, pinky.”
He only lingered on that page for a moment more before turning back to the blueprints he needed. “I just have to play it cool; I’m already dodging a bullet with the Gems, but if any of them, or anyone else, ever finds out about this…” Stan trailed off, frowning as he glanced at the picture of Dipper and Mabel that he kept on his desk at all times. Worry welled up inside his chest as he took in their bright, innocent, smiling faces… only for him to quickly shrug it off. “Yeah, right. I’ve come this far. Who could possibly catch me now?”
Little did Stan know, as he flipped another switch and poured even more untold power into the machine, someone already had .
“See, there! There it is again!”
“Incredible… We haven’t seen readings like this for thirty years!”
“This is different from that smaller spike we had a few weeks ago around the same area…”
“Is it coming from deep space? An enemy weapon site?”
“Zoom in on those coordinates, private.”
“Yes, sir.”
“...Just as I suspected. Gentlemen, we’re going to Gravity Falls.”
The next day saw a flood of visitors–tourists and locals alike–to the Mystery Shack, for a very special occasion. After all, it wasn’t every day that the shack reopened its doors after being reclaimed from a hostile takeover at the hands of a tiny tyrant.
As he emerged from the basement in the early hours after dawn, Stan couldn’t help but think how much had managed to change in only about a week or so. Gideon was in prison, he was now the town’s hero, all three journals were sitting safely downstairs, and all their problems were finally over. Or at least, all of the problems everyone else could see.
Still, Stan was nothing if not a skilled showman. He put on a broad, excited smile for the eager crowd that had gathered for the grand reopening. That smile didn’t even disappear when the Gems arrived to receive just as much adulation for their victory against the Gideonbot. Garnet remained as stoic as ever as she signed an autograph book, Pearl awkwardly thanked the crowd for their applause, and Amethyst gladly soaked it all in by crowd-surfing as the kids watched on nearby.
“Oh my gosh, that looks like so much fun!” Mabel exclaimed, grinning. “I wanna try!”
“Me too!” Steven agreed. The pair had only just begun to climb up to the counter when Stan stepped in to stop them.
“Hold it, you two. There will be plenty of time to throw yourselves at random strangers later. For now, it’s time to humbly accept all the praise and love they wanna throw our way first.”
“Why do I get the feeling like Stan isn’t actually going be ‘humble’ about this?” Dipper whispered to Steven and Mabel. While the kids got a laugh out of this, Stan stepped up onto the counter as the Gems came forward for the festivities to truly begin.
“Welcome, everyone!” Stan bellowed to catch the crowd’s attention. “To the grand reopening of the Mystery Shack! We’re here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk Lil’ Gideon!” Stan helped up a plushie of the now-jailed physic. Remembering how Gideon had unlawfully spied on all of them, the townsfolk erupted into a round of boos and jeers. “Please, please,” Stan interrupted. “Boo harder !” The crowd did just that as Stan tossed the plushie over to Amethyst, who tore it in half with a smug grin.
“But I didn’t catch that porkchop all alone,” Stan slung his arms over the twins’ shoulders. “These two scamps deserve some of the glory.” He quickly corrected himself, however, after Mabel playfully elbowed him in the gut. “Okay, okay. Most of the glory.” Still, the twins weren’t about to let Stan get off the hook without giving full credit where it was due. Dipper made sure of that as he cleared his throat and nodded over to the Gems. “Fine,” Stan rolled his eyes, still grinning nonetheless. “I guess the Gems helped too, if you wanna get specific about things.”
“If by ‘helped’ you mean squared off against a massive deadly automaton, then yes, we ‘helped’,” Pearl said proudly. “And then some, actually.”
“Yeah, we almost died,” Amethyst shrugged. She soaked in the impressed gasps from the crowd as they once again applauded the Gems’ heroism. “But we’d totally do it all again to save you all from certain doom or whatever.”
The crowd continued to cheer as Toby Determined squeezed to the front to get a photo of the ground for the town paper. “Smile for the camera!”
“Your camera’s a cinder block, Toby,” Stan deadpanned.
“I just wanna be a part of things…” Toby lowered his cinder block, disappointed.
“Smile for a real camera,” Shandra Jimenez cut in as she arrived with her news crew.
“Everybody say something stupid!” Mabel exclaimed as they all gathered in close.
“Something stupid!” Everyone enthusiastically returned, still laughing even long after the photo was taken.
“And don’t forget to come to the after-party tonight at eight!” Stan proclaimed to the crowd, holding up a poster advertising the event.
“It’ll be wild !” Amethyst rambunctiously added.
“But not too wild,” Pearl chimed in, much more cautious.
“You’re both kind of right, actually,” Garnet said, not bothering to elaborate.
“No matter how wild the party’s gonna be, you won’t wanna miss it!” Mabel piped up. “Lights! Music! Enchantment! And an amazing karaoke performance by our super-huge, super-awesome band: Love Patrol Alpha!” With a proud grin, Mabel held up her artistic rendition of this makeshift band. One that included not just her uncle and brother, but Steven and the Gems, all clad in flashy sequin jumpsuits.
“Oh wow! I can’t wait!” Steven exclaimed, delighted. “I love karaoke! And what could be better than singing it with some of my favorite people in the world?”
“Absolutely nothing!” Mabel readily agreed. “Isn’t that right, you guys?”
Despite their shared excitement, none of the others were that taken by the idea. “Uh, I don’t know about that…” Dipper frowned, rubbing his arm.
“I never agreed to that ever,” Stan said plainly.
“Hm…” Garnet mused, eyeing the poster.
“Do we really have to wear those outfits?” Amethyst cringed.
“Goodness, I hope not…” Pearl muttered.
“Too late!” Mabel grinned. “I wrote all your names on the list! It’s happening!”
Before anyone could protest, Wendy burst into the shack, blowing an airhorn to catch the crowd’s attention. “Buy a ticket, people! You know you don’t have anything going on in your lives!”
Eager to claim their spot at such a special occasion, the crowd quickly filed out of the gift shop. This left the Pines and the Gems behind to share a tired, yet happy sigh over a successful grand-reopening. “Ah, this is the life,” Stan smirked as he leaned against the counter. “The town loves us, we finally got that Gideon smell out of the carpet, and everything is finally going my way.”
“I have to say it is a welcome change of pace,” Pearl agreed, smiling. “It’s hard to believe we’ve gone over a week without facing any deadly threats or dangerous monsters. Everything’s been so peaceful lately!”
“Ugh, it’s so boring ,” Amethyst groaned. “It kinda makes me wish something crazy would finally happen, ya know?”
“Seeing as how you three are basically disaster magnets, we probably won’t have to wait too long for that,” Stan joked.
“We can’t really argue with you there,” Garnet shrugged as Pearl and Amethyst shared a small laugh. For their part, the kids could only watch on as they shared a smile. It was strange, really, to see Stan and the Gems getting along so well. But with Gideon’s defeat, it was as though something had changed between them. Smiles were shared more easily, laughter was much quicker to come by, even the very air between them all felt lighter somehow.
Indeed, the past week had brought plenty of changes. And for Steven, Dipper, and Mabel, to see their families finally starting to come together was the best change of them all.
Yet even so… there were still a few things left up in the air.
“Uh, hey, Grunkle Stan?” Dipper spoke up. He figured now was as good a time as any, especially since Stan appeared to be in such a good mood; besides, he’d already waited far longer than he wanted to to pose such an important question. “Now that we have a moment, I’ve been meaning to, um, maybe ask you for my journal back?”
“Wha-? Journal?” Stan raised an eyebrow. For a moment, Dipper feared that he was going to say no; instead, he did the exact opposite. “Oh!” He reached behind the nearby counter and pulled the journal out from under it. “You mean this old thing! It was so boring, I couldn’t even finish it!”
“Aw, what?” Amethyst huffed. “You mean you didn’t even get to the pages about us in there? Come on, Stan. There’s some pretty juicy tidbits about Pearl in there, if you know what I mean…”
“Amethyst…” Pearl shot her an annoyed glance.
“Amethyst’s right, Mr. Pines,” Steven added. “There’s a lot of really neat stuff about the Gems in the journal! And the pictures of them in it are super fancy and realistic! You should have checked them out!”
“Meh, I might have glanced over them for a minute or two,” Stan shrugged as he handed the journal back over to Dipper. “I dunno. I honestly don’t really remember or care.”
It was a lie, of course; he’d poured over those pages copiously, just in case Rose might’ve slipped something onto them to throw him off course. Not that the Gems needed to know that. Or anything else that he’d been doing with that journal in the meantime, for that matter.
For his part, Dipper could only stare down at the book in his hands, shocked. “You’re just… gonna give it back to me? Just like that?”
“What else do you want?” Stan asked, smirking. “A kiss on the cheek?”
Naturally, Dipper had about a million questions he wanted to ask, but as he glanced between his uncle and the journal, he knew now wasn’t the time or place for any of them. Something wasn’t adding up here–in fact, many things weren’t. And, just like all of the other mysteries they’d faced this summer so far, Dipper knew he had to piece it all together. Somehow.
“Uh, I… I gotta go!” He hugged the journal tight to his chest as he hurried out. Still, he didn’t intend on going entirely on his own. “Steven, Mabel, you too!”
“Huh?” The pair exchanged a puzzled glance.
“We do?”
“Yes! Now, come on!” Dipper grabbed them both by the arms to drag them privacy upstairs.
“Hm… I wonder why they’re in such a hurry…” Pearl mused, curious.
“Who cares?” Stan asked as Soos stepped up beside him.
“You know, I wouldn’t mind a kiss on the cheek.”
“Not gonna happen.”
As soon as they made it to the attic, Dipper slammed the door shut and pulled the shudders tight. Steven and Mabel could only stand by, confused by his sudden paranoia. But for Dipper, it was the least he could do to keep Stan, the Gems, or anyone else from that matter, overhearing everything he didn’t want them to.
“Uh, Dipper? Is everything ok?” Steven finally asked.
“Are you kidding me? Of course not!” Dipper exclaimed, his grip on the journal tightening. “Almost losing my journal made me realize that we’re already a good way into the summer and I’m still no closer to figuring out the big mysteries of Gravity Falls. Gideon almost destroyed the town to get his hands on this journal, but why? The Gems were ready to burn the journal without a second thought because of what’s written inside of it, but even they don’t know any of the answers to the big questions about it. Who wrote it? Where are all the other journals? What was Bill talking about when he said everything will change? There’s something huge going on right under our noses, and it’s time we stopped goofing around and got to the bottom of it!”
“Bro, you’ve looked at that thing like, a bazillion times,” Mabel pointed out. “There’s nothing left to discover! Half the pages are blank, remember?”
Dipper sighed, frustrated, as he flipped through those pages, and, sure enough, found nothing on them. “But there’s still so much we don’t know about the town, the Gems, everything . I feel like I’m just one puzzle piece away from finally figuring it all out…”
“Don’t worry, Dipper!” Steven encouraged. “I’m sure you’ll get to the bottom of everything eventually. And until then, you can always count on us to help you out, right, Mabel?”
“You bet!” Mabel grabbed Waddles as he passed by. “Lord Mystery Ham is on the case! ‘I play by me own rules, wot, wot?’”
“Aw, we should make him a little detective’s outfit!” Steven suggested.
“Funny you mention that because I’ve been working on one!” Mabel held the half -finished costume up. “Isn’t it adorable ?”
“Oh, totally!”
“I don’t know why I tell you guys things,” Dipper grumbled, shutting the journal. Because much like Stan, much like the Gems, even his own friend and sister weren’t taking him seriously. And if none of them did, then who finally, actually would ?
While the townsfolk were busy buying their party tickets on the other side of the shack, a mysterious black vehicle pulled into the parking lot. Two imposing figures stepped out, neither of them too impressed with the kitschy tourist trap standing before them.
“Hey, Mr. Pines?” Soos frowned as he watched the car from the gift shop window. “What’s the code word I’m supposed to yell when I see a government vehicle?”
Stan didn’t catch the question at first amidst the friendly arm match he and Garnet were having. While he was already losing, he froze the second he heard Soos mention the government, allowing Garnet to slam his hand down with a triumphant smirk.
“Wait, what? Government vehicle?” Stan stood, startled. He rushed over to the window, his eyes widening at the sight of the discreetly official-looking car.
“The government?” Pearl whispered to Garnet, concerned. “What are they doing here again?”
“Yeah, I thought we smooth-talked them outta here years ago,” Amethyst scowled. “You’d think they would’ve gotten the memo that there’s nothing around here for them to see.”
“Just remember what Rose always told us about dealing with local governments,” Garnet calmly advised. “No mentioning magic, Homeworld, or anything of the like. We keep our powers under wraps and refuse them access to the temple, no matter what they say. Until they leave, we’re to blend in, pass ourselves off as normal humans the best that we can.”
“Way ahead of you, G,” Amethyst seamlessly shapeshifted into a tall, “normal”-looking business woman. “How’s this for a boring, average, unassuming human?”
“Humans don’t shapeshift, Amethyst,” Garnet reminded, crossing her arms.
“Ugh, fine ,” Amethyst rolled her eyes as she turned back. “But the minute these guys leave, I’m totally gonna shapeshift into them and make fun of ‘em behind their backs.”
While the Gems solidified their action plan, none of them noticed Stan’s rising panic. Acting fast, he pulled the shades down over each of the shop’s windows before shouting into the intercom, “The Mystery Shack is now closed! Everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!”
A ripple of confusion ran through the customers, but even so, they started to file out, just as the kids came back down to see what all the fuss was about. “Grunkle Stan, what’s going on?” Mabel asked, confused.
“Yeah, you never shut down the gift shop early,” Dipper added, just as puzzled.
“Oh no!” Steven gasped. “Are we under attack by some sort of invisible Gem monster or something?”
“Steven, shh!” Pearl warned, anxiously glancing around.
Stan was every bit as on edge as he paced around the gift shop, at least until a heavy knock sounded at the door. He made sure to put on the biggest, most inconspicuous smile he could muster as he went to answer it. All he needed to do was put on a convincing enough show, a believable lie; easy, he told himself, just like he had every day for the past 30 years.
On the other side of the door, a pair of tall, suit-clad men awaited. Right off the bat, they brandished their government IDs. Stan tried his best to pretend he didn’t notice them as he held his too-wide smile and cheerfully greeted the duo. “Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you? Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents?” His grin grew a bit more anxious as he pulled a $5 out of his sleeve, hoping it would work. Unfortunately though, these stoic agents weren’t the kind to be driven off by a mere bribe.
“My name is Agent Powers and this is Agent Trigger,” the senior agent introduced himself and his partner. “We’re here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town.”
“ Activity !” Trigger added for extra emphasis.
“Mysterious activity?” Stan laughed, nervous. “In the Mystery Shack? You gotta be joking!”
“I assure you I’m not,” Powers dryly affirmed. “I was born with a rare disorder that makes me physically incapable of experiencing humor.”
Stan chuckled again, thinking he was only joking. Even so, Powers was entirely unmoved. “I don’t understand that sound you’re making with your mouth. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re conducting an investigation.”
“Investigation!” Trigger exclaimed, pointing a threatening finger at Stan as they passed him by.
There was little he could do to stop either of them as they began poking around the gift shop. The Gems stiffened when they saw the agents, but still, they kept their cool as much as they could. Despite their best efforts to remain unnoticed, the agents still set their sights on them all the same.
“Ladies,” Trigger gave the Gems a terse nod as he and Powers passed them by.
“Agents,” Garnet smoothly returned. Amethyst and Pearl hovered close by, much less-straight faced compared to their leader. Their worry only sharpened at what Powers had to say next.
“You three look familiar…” Powers noted as he sized them up. “Have we met before?”
“Can’t say that we have,” Garnet shrugged.
“Y-yes, I think we would have remembered encountering such… esteemed members of the American administration as yourselves,” Pearl added with a forced smile. “Don’t you gentlemen agree?”
The agents exchanged a glance, seemingly buying this. Still, they weren’t done with the Gems just yet. “If you don’t mind me saying so, you three look a little… out of place in a small town like this…” Trigger noted with a skeptical frown.
“Oh, that’s because the Gems are from spa-” Steven was quickly cut off when Pearl suddenly covered his mouth.
“Spain!” she exclaimed, panicking. “W-we’re from Spain! Right, you two?”
“ Sí ,” Amethyst shrugged. Since her Spanish was a little rusty, she didn’t bother saying much else. Fortunately, Garnet had it covered.
“ Es precioso allí en esta época del año ,” she said fluently. Fortunately, this was enough to finally shake the agents. With a simple nod, they moved on, allowing the Gems to breathe a sigh of relief. Steven, however, couldn’t do the same.
“What gives, you guys?” Steven asked, frowning. “Why did you just lie to those agents like that?”
“Steven, we-” Pearl quickly stopped herself when she caught one of the agents glancing back at them. “We’ll tell you later.”
“But-”
“We’ll tell you later ,” Garnet echoed much more firmly. Despite his lingering confusion, Steven knew better than to argue with her.
The agents didn’t get much further along in their inspection before they were interrupted once more, this time by Dipper. “Wait!” he exclaimed, running up to the pair. “Did you guys say you’re investigating the mysteries of this town?”
“That information is classified, but yes,” Powers knelt down to the boy’s level. “Look, between you and me, I believe there is a conspiracy of paranormal, or perhaps even extraterrestrial origin all connected to this town. We’re just one small lead away from blowing the lid off this entire mystery.”
Stan barely stifled an alarmed flinch when he heard such troubling news. Dipper, on the other hand, was elated. “No way! I’m investigating the exact same thing! I found this journal in the woods which has almost all the answers. If we work together, we could crack the case!”
The agents exchanged an uncertain glance. Nonetheless, Powers handed him a stately business card. “If you have evidence of these claims, we should talk.”
“We could talk right now!” Dipper eagerly offered. “Please, come in! I have so much to show you!”
Before any of them could take another step, however, Stan swiftly swept in. “I’m sorry, agents,” he said, fixing himself squarely between the pair and his nephew. “The kid has an overactive imagination. And like, a sweating problem.”
“Ha! Zing!” Mabel shouted from across the gift shop.
“Paranormal town stuff is just part of gift shop lore,” Stan continued. “Sells more tickets, you know?”
At the snap of his boss’ fingers, Soos stepped in to equip the agents with complimentary Mystery Shack memorabilia. “Bam! Swag!”
“Stan is absolutely right,” Pearl spoke up. “There really isn’t anything ‘paranormal’ a-and there certainly isn’t anything ‘extraterrestrial’ here in Gravity Falls. It’s a perfectly normal little town!”
“That’s right,” Garnet nodded her agreement.
“Yeah, nothin’ to see here,” Amethyst coolly shrugged.
“C-certainly nothing that would warrant any looking into!” Pearl pressed before Amethyst elbowed her hard in the knee. “Um, I mean, nothing at all!”
Powers and Trigger exchanged another look, but they seemed to take Stan and the Gems’ word for it. For now, anyway. “Regardless of whether or not that’s true, we still have other spots to investigate,” Powers said as they both turned to leave. “We’ll be on our way.”
“I’m confiscating these as evidence,” Trigger grabbed a large armful of Mr. Mystery bobbleheads on the way out.
“Smart move.”
“No, wait!” Dipper called after them. “We have so much to talk about!”
“Hold it, kiddo,” Stan quickly stopped him as the door slammed shut behind the agents. “Trust me, the last thing you want around during a party is cops.”
“Seriously, those guys were total buzzkills,” Amethyst huffed. She made good on her word as she shapeshifted into Agent Powers, even going as far to throw her voice to mock him. “‘Oh, blah, blah, blah, we’re investigating weird stuff, blah, blah, conspiracies, blah, blah, paranormal, blaahhh.” She groaned as she shifted back into herself. “I’m glad they finally left. They were putting me to sleep!”
“So… why didn’t you guys let me tell them you’re from space?” Steven asked the Gems. “I mean, all of us know about it. So what’s the problem with telling other people?”
“The problem, Steven, is that we’ve lived in Gravity Falls a very long time,” Pearl sighed. “Long enough that the people of this town have gotten used to our presence here and think little of it. But outside of Gravity Falls… well…”
“People out there don’t adapt as well to the unknown as they do here,” Garnet said. “Especially to things like the supernatural.”
“Yeah, or aliens,” Amethyst added.
“But you guys are aliens!” Dipper exclaimed, frustrated.
“And your point is…?”
“The point is those agents have no business sticking their noses around here,” Stan concluded. “Which is why I’m confiscating that card.”
“Hey!” Dipper protested when Stan swiped the agents’ card away from him, stuffing into a box of other “contraband”.
“Now how’s about you try being a normal kid for once,” Stan sneered over his shoulder. “Flirt with a girl, steal a pie off a windowsill or something.”
“But Grunkle Stan, you don’t understand!”
“And don’t go talking to those agents!” Stan left on that stern order. One that Dipper was far from happy about.
“Ugh, that could have been my big break!” he groaned, thoroughly annoyed. With Stan gone, he had only the Gems left to focus his frustration on; and after what just happened, there was still plenty of it left to spare. “You guys can’t be serious about all this.”
“We’re completely serious,” Garnet confirmed.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we’re with Stan on this one,” Pearl said. “Having those agents poking around will only needlessly complicate things.”
“But they could help us finally figure out why Gravity Falls is so weird!” Dipper argued.
“Or they could totally ruin everything,” Amethyst countered. “Listen, dude. We got a sweet deal here. Everything’s finally chill for once. Why risk shaking it all up for a few lame old mysteries that don’t even matter?”
“They do matter!” Dipper stressed. “You guys know they do! You can’t just shrug all of this stuff off like it’s nothing!”
“And we’re not,” Garnet shook her head. “But there are a lot of things that take priority over those mysteries. And making sure we can continue to protect this town uninterrupted is one of those things.”
“Uh, speaking of which…” Amethyst peered up the hill from her spot in the doorframe. “We got agents at the temple…” Sure enough, the government vehicle was already parked mere steps away from the Gems’ home.
“Ugh, we should have expected as much,” Pearl groaned as they began to head out. “They just don’t know when to quit. I suppose we’ll just have to trick them into leaving just like we did the last time the government decided to pay us a visit.”
“Looks like we’ll have to break out the smoke machines,” Garnet noted.
“And the crossbow!” Amethyst smirked mischievously. “You know what? This might be fun after all!”
As the Gems left, Dipper could only let out another disgruntled sigh. To his surprise, Steven echoed it as he watched the Gems go, a perplexed look written all over his face. “I still don’t know why the Gems are so worried….” he mused, frowning. “I mean, what’s the worst that could happen if they let other people outside of Gravity Falls know about all the brave stuff they do to protect the Earth every day?”
“I know, right?” Dipper sullenly agreed. “Those agents have the experience and resources that could help us solve everything, but it’s like they just don’t care! What are the Gems and Stan so afraid of anyway?”
“Boys, boys, boys,” Mabel cut in, grinning. “You’re both so worried about all this heavy stuff, but maybe Grunkle Stan and the Gems are right. We’re throwing a party tonight! Dipper, can’t you go one night without searching for bigfoot or raising the dead or whatever?”
“I’m not gonna raise the dead,” Dipper scoffed. “I just need a chance to show those agents the journal…”
“Trust me, bro, the only book you’ll need tonight is right here!” With a flourish, Mabel held up a book of karaoke songs that came along with the machine she’d rented for the party.
“You know what, Mabel? You’re right,” Steven finally folded into a smile as he leafed through the book. “We’ve waited this long to look for answers; I’m sure we can wait just one more night. Besides, I can’t wait to jam out to every song in here tonight!”
“That’s the spirit!” Mabel cheered. “When I say kara—, you say —oke! Kara—”
“—Oke!” Steven finished, stars in his eyes.
“Kara—”
“—Oke!”
“Kara—” Mabel started again, pointing to her brother this time. For his part, Dipper simply fixed the pair with a disapproving scowl. Not that either of them minded; after all, the promise evening of singing under the stars was more than enough to excite them on its own. “We could do this all day.”
Long before anyone even arrived at the party, the Mystery Shack was aglow with anticipation that evening. Soos had already set up a generous snack table while Wendy put up posters and streamers. Steven and Greg had even come down to help set up, and Stan wasted no time putting them to work hanging up strings of lights around the yard.
“You should have seen those agents, Dad!” Steven exclaimed. “They were so tall and serious . I don’t think I saw either of them smile once! Even the Gems were kind of freaked out by them. Isn’t that weird?”
“Eh, not really,” Greg said. “You mom wasn’t a big fan of the government back in the day. She said it reminded her of-” He swiftly cut himself off as he stole a glance down at his ever-curious son. “Uh… it reminded her of... Huh, what do you know? I d-don’t really remember! Sorry, kiddo.”
“Aw, really?” Steven frowned, disappointed. “Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl didn’t want those government guys to know much about them… Do you think it was because of whatever Mom said?”
“P-probably,” Greg nodded as he worked on changing the subject. “But you don’t need to stress yourself out over all that stuff tonight, Sto-ball. Just cut loose and enjoy the party!”
“Hm… yeah, I guess…” Steven half-heartedly agreed. Even though the Gems had only started to share some of their secrets lately, it always seemed as though they were hiding so many more. Secrets that Steven longed to know, to understand, to be a part of.
After all, he asked himself for what felt like the hundredth time now, he was a Crystal Gem too, right?
Greg cut through his troubled thoughts. “Well, I think we’re just about done hanging all these—whoa!” He yelped as a blast of confetti struck him from behind, nearly knocking him off his ladder.
“Sorry, Mr. Universe!” Mabel called from her spot on the porch. “But hey, at least we know the confetti cannon works!”
“It better for as much as I’m paying to rent that thing,” Stan said, barely glancing up from his party checklist.
“Oh! And the karaoke machine has all the best songs!” Mabel turned to the machine as she switched through its offerings. “‘We Built this Township on Rock and Roll’, ‘Danger Lane to Highway Town’, ‘Taking Over the Stars’ by &ndra!”
“Oh my gosh, I love that song!” Steven exclaimed, beaming.
“Me too!” Mabel excitedly agreed. “We’re all gonna sound totally awesome singing it tonight!”
“Listen, kid,” Stan cut in. “You do not wanna hear this voice singing. Trust me.”
“Grunkle Stan, karaoke isn’t about sounding good,” Mabel countered. “It’s about sounding terrible together . Right, you guys?” she called to the Gems as they arrived at the party.
“What are we talkin’ about?” Amethyst asked.
“We’re talking about how we’re all gonna do karaoke together later!” Steven smiled. “It’ll be a great bonding experience for all of us! Maybe one that could help us all open up about ourselves a little more?”
“Oh, right,” Pearl said, disinterested. “The singing thing.”
“Huh. I figured you three would be a little more excited for some karaoke action,” Greg said with a small chuckle. “You know, seeing as how you guys love to sing.”
He continued laughing, only to find that the Gems didn’t so much as crack a smile his way. Something he’d gotten more than used to ever since they’d all lost Rose years ago. “Heh, woo boy…” Greg muttered as the Gems moved on. No matter how much time may have passed, it seemed as though some things would never really change.
Dipper shot the Gems a brief, distrustful glance as they passed him and Wendy by. He had every reason to be upset after how they’d warded the agents off earlier, if only to save themselves from their scrutiny. And now, because of them and Stan, he was right back to square one, back to having far more questions than all of the answers he longed to reach.
Wendy took notice of the heavy scowl hanging on Dipper’s face, so she made an effort to lift it by lightening the mood. “Check it out! These black lights make my teeth look scary!” she grinned as she stood in the glow of a nearby neon light. “It’s like a crime scene in my mouth! C’mon, you know you love it.”
Instead of so much as even trying to smile, Dipper let out another aggravated sigh. “It’s not fair. Finally, I meet someone who can help me solve the mysteries of this town and what happens? The Gems just drive them off while Stan confiscates their card from me.”
“Dude, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this,” Wendy lowered her voice so her boss wouldn’t overhear. “But I’m pretty sure Stan hides like, everything in his room. If that card you want is anywhere, it’s gotta be in there.”
“Really?” Dipper asked, intrigued. “But wait… If I go into Stan’s room, I could get in so much trouble.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Wendy nodded, before playfully punching him in the arm. “That’s what makes it fun, dummy!”
Dipper didn’t need much more convincing beyond that. The pair continued solidifying their plan, grateful for the buzz provided by the first few party guests arriving at the shack.
“Aw man, I can’t wait to smash these Stañatas!” Soos smiled as he finished setting the Stan-shaped piñatas up. Only for someone else to come along and bust them open in his stead.
“Smash!” Grenda body-slammed into the table, sending the Stañatas–and the candy inside them–flying. “Grenda has entered the party!”
“Stan’s brains look delicious!” Candy happily scooped up some of the treats for herself.
“Girls!” Mabel hurried over to her friends, pulling them both into a tight hug.
“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, Mabel!” Grenda yelled, her eyes wide with wonder. “Is that a boombox sweater?!”
“See for yourself.”
“Poke!” Grenda tapped the play button on the sweater. Mabel beamed as it began flashing and playing upbeat music for her and her friends to dance to.
Steven grinned as he stood by and watched, but he didn’t bother joining them. Largely since he was still so preoccupied with how strange the Gems had acted earlier, at least until he caught sight of the hand Connie was waving in front of his face.
“Hello? Steven? Anybody in there?”
“Oh! Sorry, Connie,” Steven rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling. “Glad you could make it!”
“Yeah,” Connie’s smile quickly faded into confusion. “So, uh, why aren’t you joining in on all the fun?” She nodded over to where Mabel, Candy, and Grenda were still excitedly dancing together.
“Well… I would,” Steven admitted. “But… I’ve just been… doing some thinking instead…”
“Oh yeah?” Connie leaned in, curious. “Thinking about what?”
Steven opened his mouth to answer, only to stop short when the Gems suddenly stepped in to join them. “Hello, you two,” Garnet greeted them.
“You guys ready to PAR-TAY?!” Amethyst asked, pumping her fists.
“Y-you bet we are!” Steven let out a forced laugh. “In fact…. We’re so ready to party that we’re gonna go get a head start on it over here! A-and we’re totally not gonna talk about anything we shouldn’t be talking about. So, uh…. yeah! Bye!”
With that, Steven grabbed Connie and led her off–well out of the Gems’ earshot. “Well, that was strange…” Pearl noted with a frown. “But I’m sure it’s nothing we need to be concerned about.”
“The only thing I’m concerned about is that snack table over there,” Amethyst licked her lips as she rushed over to it.
“Amethyst, wait!” Pearl called, running after her. “You can’t just eat all of those snacks! Oh, at least use a plate, for crying out loud!”
By the time the party properly started, plenty of guests had arrived. No one wanted to miss what Stan had touted as “the biggest celebration Gravity Falls has ever seen”, after all.
“Aw, I thought this was gonna be a rave…” Thompson frowned as he and the other teens filed in.
“Thompson! Take off your shirt and make it a rave!” Nate challenged.
“I’ll do anything for your approval!” Thompson cried as he tore his shirt off.
“Ooo! Now it’s a real party!” Jenny laughed as Sour Cream pulled out a glow stick and started waving it around. Meanwhile, Tambry snapped a photo of the now-shirtless Thompson with her phone, wasting no time posting it to social media.
Guests only continued to pour in from there as Stan gladly took their money at the ticket table. “Wow, Mr. Pines,” Greg said as he helped him count his cash. ” Who knew that so many people would be willing to spend $10 to come to a party that they could have otherwise gotten into for free?”
“Tell me about it,” Stan smirked. “The whole town is showing up! And no sign of those pesky agents either.”
“Oh yeah, Steven was telling me about them,” Greg said. As the tide of guests came to a brief lull, he lowered his voice and asked, “So, uh…. What are you gonna do if they find out about-”
“They won’t,” Stan coldly cut him off. “I’ve gotten this far without anyone finding out about it. I’m not about to let two crackpot government crooks ruin everything.”
“Sounds like you’re on the same page as the Gems about those guys,” Greg pointed out. “Though I guess they’re worried for entirely different reasons.”
“Pfft, whatever,” Stan crossed his arms. “Let ‘em be skeeved out by those dumb agents. As far as I’m concerned, they’re not gonna find out about it, and you’re not gonna tell them, right, Greg?”
“Hey, I’ve kept that promise for over twenty years now,” Greg assured. “I have no reason to break it now.”
“Good,” Stan nodded as he turned his attention back to the party. “Wendy, Dipper! How are those posters coming along?” He called, only to receive no response. Sure enough, a glance over his shoulder showed him neither of them were at their assigned post.
And, after their run-in with the agents earlier, Stan didn’t have to think too hard about what his notoriously hard-headed nephew might be up to.
As soon as the party got busy enough, Dipper and Wendy snuck inside the shack, unseen. They quietly made their way to Stan’s room, which was tacked with all sorts of warnings to keep his niece and nephew out. Not that Dipper was about to let that stop him.
“I’ll keep an eye out for Stan,” Wendy said. “You go rustle through his weird old man biz.”
Dipper nodded as he moved for the door, only to find it wouldn’t budge. “What? It’s locked!”
Before either of them could even think about coming up with anything, something suddenly dropped from the ceiling, landing squarely between them and the door. “Boo!” Amethyst shouted, grinning at Dipper. “Ha! You should have seen the look on your face, dude! It was classic.”
“A-Amethyst?!” Dipper exclaimed, alarmed. “What are you doing here?”
“Eh, just hangin’ around,” Amethyst lengthened her arms so she could hang from the rafters above them. “I think the better question is what are you guys doing trying to get into Stan’s room? What, are you gonna try and see if he has any cool weird stuff in there?”
Dipper hesitated, unsure of what to say. Fortunately, Wendy spoke up in his stead. “Yeah, maybe,” she shrugged. “Why? You gonna tell Stan or something?”
“Pfft, why would I do that?” Amethyst scoffed. “I’ve broken into Stan’s room plenty of times just to tick him off. In fact, here’s a bit of advice. He keeps the key on top of the door frame.” She kicked the door, sending the key tumbling into the palm of her hand before she handed it off to Dipper. “Here ya go.”
“Whoa… uh, thanks, Amethyst,” he said, equally surprised and grateful.
“No prob, dude,” Amethyst smirked as she began to head off. “If you find anything creepy awesome in there like a dead body or a week-old sandwich, let me know!”
The second Amethyst turned the corner, Dipper and Wendy shared a sigh of relief. “Ok, that was way too close, dude,” Wendy frowned. “You might wanna get in there and get out before someone like Garnet or Pearl shows up. Chances are they won’t be as easy to get rid of as Amethyst was.”
“Good point,” Dipper agreed. Without wasting another second, he unlocked the door and slipped inside.
He hadn’t really been in Stan’s room before, and with good reason. It was a musty, poorly-lit space that smelled of… something Dipper couldn’t quite place. The less time spent in here, the better, which was why he got to work searching for what he came here for.
“Alright, Grunkle Stan, where did you hide that card?” he muttered as he began inspecting the drawers. At first, all he found were old copies of Gold Chains for Old Men magazine, boxing gloves and brass knuckles, and, disturbingly enough, catalogs of women’s clothing and swimwear. Dipper didn’t even want to think about what use his uncle might’ve had for those.
He stopped his search when he noticed the large, smug portrait of Stan hanging just above the bed. At first, Dipper didn’t think much of it, at least until he noticed just how oddly it was hung. Stepping up onto the bed, he pushed the portrait aside to find a secret compartment hidden behind it. And within that compartment sat Stan’s coveted contraband box. “Yes!” Dipper exclaimed, quickly finding the agents’ card inside. “I got it.”
Not wanting to waste any time, Dipper rushed for the phone resting beside Stan’s bed and quickly dialed the number on the card. He anxiously held his breath as it rang for a moment before someone finally picked up. “Agent Powers speaking.”
“Hi! This is Dipper, the kid from the Mystery Shack,” Dipper began, trying not to let his excitement get the better of him. “The one with the, um, ‘sweating problem’? B-but anyway, I have that journal I wanted to show you!”
“And you’re certain this ‘journal’ will help our case?”
“I’m a hundred percent positive.”
“Very well,” Powers said after a moment or two. “We’re on our way.”
Before Dipper could even thank the agent, the line abruptly went dead. He turned to find none other than Stan standing right behind him, his finger on the receiver and an angry scowl on his face.
“Sorry, Dipper!” Wendy called from behind him. “I got distracted…” She held her phone up to show the photo of Thompson “raving” that Tambry had just sent her.
“Kid, why did you call those agents?” Stan took the phone away from Dipper and staunchly hung it up. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times! The only weird thing in Gravity Falls is the Gems, and even then they’re not that weird once you get used to ‘em. But aside from them, there’s nothing ‘supernatural’ in this town.”
“Yes, there is!” Dipper protested, frustrated. “After everything that’s happened, you have to know that by now!”
“All I know is that your dumb obsession is gonna get us all in trouble someday,” Stan sullenly shoved his nephew out of the room “Now go enjoy the rest of the party. ’Cause when it’s over, you’re grounded!”
While Dipper wanted to argue, the downright fierce look on Stan’s face was enough to tell him it wouldn’t do any good. Not that it mattered much anyway; he got what he wanted. It’d only be a matter of time before the agents arrived. It’d only be a matter of time before this mystery was finally solved, once and for all.
And so, without another word, he turned and walked away, ready to do whatever it took to make that happen.
The tension between her brother and uncle tonight was all but lost on Mabel. Instead, she cheerfully roamed the party outside, warmly greeting guests as they began enjoying the festivities. She only stopped short when she happened upon the cops as they pulled in to “investigate” the rowdy scene before them. “What’s the problem, officers?” Mabel asked them. “Did you catch my face going ninety smiles per hour?”
“We’ve got complaints about the loudest party in town,” Durland reported.
“Three words,” Blubbs said, his tone dead serious. “We want in.”
Mabel readily complied by slipping party horns into both of her mouths as she dropped her voice down to an excited whisper, “Welcome to your dreams!”
As the party heated up, the Gems were mostly content to stand on the fringes of it. Or at least, that’s what Garnet and Pearl did as Amethyst enjoyed herself, dancing in her own unique way. That is, until Greg happened to pass by.
“Uh, hey, you guys,” he greeted them with an awkward smile. “How are you liking the party?”
Garnet simply shrugged and said, “It’s alright.”
“Heh, yeah,” Greg chuckled. “You know, Mr. Pines asked me to play a few songs from my old set later on. You guys should come check it out. They were some of Rose’s favorites.”
“Oh really?” Pearl shot him a critical glance.
“Y-yeah,” Greg blushed, realizing that his attempt at small talk was floundering fast. “So um… have any of you guys seen Steven around lately?”
“Not since he and Connie ran off earlier,” Amethyst shoved a handful of chips into her mouth. “They’re probably playing spin the bottle or whatever.”
“Amethyst!” Pearl scolded. Likewise, Greg’s eyes widened at the thought.
“What? It’s probably true.”
Except it wasn’t exactly. True, Steven and Connie had slipped away to a quieter corner of the party, but mostly to talk more than anything else. Without the Gems around, Steven was able to fill her in on what happened that morning, including the agents and the Gems’ reaction to them.
“And when I asked them why they lied to the agents, they just said something about how people don’t adapt to things like them outside of Gravity Falls,” Steven explained, frowning. “But I still don't get it. I’m sure if people knew about how hard they work to protect the earth, then they wouldn’t be afraid of the Gems! They’d love them, just like people here do!”
“I don’t know, Steven…” Connie said, thoughtful. “Maybe the reason why the Gems are so afraid of the government is because they’re not from Earth in the first place.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“I’m just saying, from what I’ve heard, the government doesn’t really react the best to aliens. Haven’t you ever heard of Area 51?”
“Area 50-what?” Steven asked, confused.
Connie raised an eyebrow, but she didn’t get much of a chance to explain before Mabel hurried over to them. “There you guys are! The karaoke extravaganza is about to begin! You gotta come watch. It’s gonna be kar awesome! ”
“We’ll be there in a second, Mabel,” Connie assured, smiling. “We were just—whoa!” She was cut off as Mabel suddenly grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back towards the rest of the party.
“Come on, Connie!” Mabel encouraged, brightly beaming. “You too, Steven! We’re gonna miss the first act if we don’t hurry!”
“Don’t worry, I’m coming!” Steven stood to follow the girls. Only to stop in his tracks when Dipper caught his arm and whispered something in his ear.
“Whoa, really?” Steven asked, impressed by what he’d just heard.
“Yeah, and I’m gonna need your help,” Dipper said with a daring grin. “Come on!”
Steven nodded, following along after Dipper before either Mabel or Connie could notice they were gone. And yet, as they got further away from the party and into the woods, Steven couldn’t help but have second thoughts. “...Dipper, are you sure about this?” he glanced back towards the shack and the temple. “I mean, your uncle and the Gems really didn’t want any of us talking to those agents. What if they find out and we get in trouble?”
“If we do, then it’ll be more than worth it,” Dipper countered, unshaken. “This is exactly the chance I’ve been waiting all summer for, Steven! A chance to finally connect all the dots and figure everything out all at once. A chance to get someone to finally take me seriously for once-”
“I take you seriously,” Steven cut him off. “Isn’t that enough?” Dipper stopped short, startled by just how earnestly he was looking at him, how much he truly seemed to mean it. His face flushed hot, but before he could even say a word to respond, the sound of a car door shutting somewhere behind them caught his attention.
As the agents approached, Steven offered them a friendly, upbeat wave. “Hi!” he greeted, before he caught Dipper shaking his head. A silent reminder of what he’d just said, of how much he wanted both of them to be taken seriously here. “Oh, uh, I mean… good evening,” Steven corrected himself, lowering his voice a bit for extra effect.
“Alright, boys, let’s make this quick,” Agent Powers said. “We don’t have all night.”
“Don’t worry; you guys won’t regret this,” Dipper assured. “Working together, we can crack all of the big questions of Gravity Falls! Trust me, this book is the lead you’ve been looking for.” He pulled the journal out and handed it over to the agents so they could get a better look. “So I’m thinking we do a full scale investigation; forensics, researchers… Do you guys have a helicopter? Oh, I’m sorry, helicopters .”
“I wanna ride on a helicopter!” Steven exclaimed, his usual excitement returning. Even so, the agents weren’t quite convinced.
“Kid, I’d love to believe you, but this just looks like more junk from your uncle’s gift shop,” Powers scoffed as he pointed out one of the journal’s more outlandish entries. “I mean, a Leprecorn? I can’t be the only one who thinks that’s not funny.”
“I can confirm,” Trigger shook his head. “Not funny.”
“No! It’s real, I swear!” Dipper protested, realizing that this one and only chance was already starting to slip away from him. “You should ‘send it to the lab’. Am I saying that right?”
“Your uncle was right about that overactive imagination of yours,” Powers dismissively handed the journal back to Dipper. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we have paperwork to do.”
“ Boring paperwork,” Trigger emphasized as they began to head back to their car.
“But wait!” Dipper called after them. “What if I told you we have real, actual aliens right here in Gravity Falls?!”
“He’s right!” Steven vouched for him. “They’re called the Crystal Gems and they’re from a planet called Homeworld, way out somewhere in space! Believe me, I should know. I don’t just live with them, I am one of them!” With a hopeful smile, he lifted his shirt to show off his gemstone. Even still, the agents weren’t anywhere close to interested.
“Kid, I’ll level with you,” Powers said. “That thing looks more like a tacky decoration anyone could buy at the local dollar store than anything even remotely resembling an alien artifact.”
Steven and Dipper exchanged a worried glance. Whatever ground they thought they had, they were quickly losing it. “B-but it's true!” Dipper stressed, desperate. “The Gems really are aliens and they can do magic and—Steven! Quick! Show them your shield or your bubble or-”
“I think we’ve heard enough,” Powers interrupted as he and Trigger turned away. “Like I said, we don’t have time to entertain flights of fantasy like these.”
“No, wait!” Dipper practically begged. “I can prove all this stuff is real!” Acting fast, he turned to the journal, rapidly flipping through its pages to find something, anything that could change the agents’ minds. “Gnomes… cursed objects… Gem stuff… spells, aha! Listen to this!” He began reading out an incantation written out in the journal, not bothering to check what it was even for. “Uh… Corpus levitus! Diablo dominus!”
“Um… Dipper?” Steven spoke up. On the first few words of the spell alone, an unsettling breeze began to whip through the trees above them. Dipper, however, didn’t notice or care. How could he, when he was on the verge of something so huge?
“Mondo vicium!” he finished loudly. The final words of the spell echoed only for a moment, until they were drowned out by the rumble of the earth beneath their feet. Dipper snapped the journal shut as he exchanged a wide-eyed glance with Steven. But whatever that incantation was, clearly, it was far too late to take it back now.
The good news was at least they had the agents’ full attention now. Not that meant much against the rapidly increasing earthquake. It quickly turned violent, to the point that it tore a wide, deep crack in the forest floor. Steven only narrowly managed to catch Dipper before he could fall into it, and it was a good thing he did too. Because what emerged from that dark crevice–
Was nothing short of a nightmare .
A hand shot up first–long, spindly fingers with flesh rotting from each one. The rest soon followed, a being that almost looked human–and maybe it once had been, when it was alive. Now, it was nothing more than a decrepit, decaying corpse, skin sloughing from exposed bones and empty, glowing eyes hanging from their sockets as it dragged itself out of the depths of its grave. On its own, it was a sickening sight; but the fact that it was moving , lumbering slowly entirely on its own, was terrifying on a whole other level.
While Steven and the agents were shocked stiff, Dipper couldn’t help but let out an incredulous laugh. For as grotesque as it was, this creature was exactly what he needed right now. “Ha! A zombie! A real, actual zombie! Everything else in the journal is just as real as that guy too. Now can we work together?”
As shaken as both of the agents were, this question was all but ignored. “Mother of all that is holy!” Powers exclaimed, his usual calm composure completely gone now.
“What do we do?!” Trigger took a step back as the zombie drew in closer.
“It’s just one zombie,” Dipper said, already leafing through the journal for a way to ward it off. “Trust me, we see things like this all the time here, right, Steven?”
“Uh, y-yeah…” Steven offered up a nervous grin. “If worse comes to worse, we can always find the Gems and have them—AH!”
He screamed when the zombie suddenly pounced at them, ready to attack. He threw his arms out wide, forming a bubble around himself and Dipper just before the corpse could come crashing into it. There it remained, clawing and beating against the sturdy pink surface keeping the frightened boys behind it safe. They could only watch as Agent Power bashed the zombie’s head in with a rock, sending it to the ground. “Whoa…. That was a close one…” Steven muttered, staring at the downed zombie.
“W-what is that?!” Trigger eyed the pink bubble, awestruck.
“Oh this?” Steven skimmed the side of it. “It’s my bubble.”
“See? We told you guys!” Dipper exclaimed, grinning. “The Gems really are magical aliens! Now you have to believe us, right?”
The agents could only stare at each other, utterly dumbfounded by everything they’d seen. Still, Steven made an effort at easing some of the tension with a small, anxious laugh. “W-well, hey, at least we only had to deal with that one zombie, huh?”
Almost as soon as he finished speaking, he was suddenly proven wrong. The ground trembled once more as more decomposing limbs began to pop out of the crack the first zombie had come from. More and more undead creatures were crawling out of the fissure by the second, quickly coming together to form a horde that vastly outnumbered the still-living humans watching them. Humans that they all too quickly began to hungrily turn to.
“Oh my gosh!” Dipper gripped Steven’s arm for support as the zombies began leering toward them. “Y-you guys can help, right?”
“Kid, we’ve been chasing the paranormal for years but we have never seen anything like this before!” Power exclaimed, shaking his head.
“Get down!” Trigger warned his partner, but it was already too late. Before either of them could see it coming, the zombies attacked them from behind, dragging them to the ground. The boys could only narrowly pull themselves away before the zombies could get them too, but there was nothing they could do to help the agents. Nothing but watch as they were dragged into the darkness of the forest, until even their screams fell into sudden silence.
“Oh man, what have I done?!” Dipper exclaimed, distraught. He didn’t have much more time on his side to regret his disastrous decisions though. After all, the zombies were still very much on the prowl.
“Dipper, look out!” Steven shoved them both out of the way just before another zombie could strike. Still, the others showed no signs of stopping, with even more emerging until the surrounding forest was practically flooded with them. And every last one was determined to make the boys their next meal. “We’ve gotta get out of here. Come on!” Steven grabbed Dipper by the hand and took off toward the shack–
With a deadly undead army following right behind them.
By now, the “karaoke extravaganza” was well underway. Blubs and Durland took the stage before a cheering crowd, entertaining them with an impromptu rap number.
“What up, fools, its Blubbs and Durls-”
“Makin’ all that money and getting’ them girls!”
“Is this party legendary or what?!” Mabel took the mic to rally the crowd. “When I say ‘Mabel’, you say ‘Pines’! Mabel-!”
Instead of echoing her, a sharp scream rang out through the air instead. It came as the ground around the shake began to shake, sending even more frightened cries through the crowd. Not that Mabel noticed as she kept the excitement going. “Mabel-!” she tried again, only for someone to suddenly shout-
“We’re all gonna die!”
“Why does that never work?” Mabel wondered, frowning.
“Whoa, I think it’s an earthquake!” Wendy shouted, blowing an airhorn to catch the terrified partygoers' attention. “Hey, everybody! We gotta get outta here!”
Not a single guest argued. Instead, they all made a beeline away from the shack. Amidst that crowd, Connie struggled to find any of her friends in the chaos of it all. “Steven?!” she called, deeply worried. “Mabel? Dipper?”
“Connie!” Candy and Grenda caught her off guard as they ran past her. “You gotta escape while you still can!”
“But what about-” Connie was cut off as someone bumped into her, knocking her to the ground. Even as she picked herself up, she was unable to fight against the tide of frantic, fleeing party guests. “No, wait!” she cried, trying to break free, but to no avail. She was left with no choice but to follow the flow of the crowd as they ran for their lives. She was left with no choice but to leave her friends to whatever catastrophe was apparently unfolding.
“Wait! Don’t leave!” Mabel shouted after the escaping guests. “We haven’t even done our double-family karaoke song yet!”
She didn’t get a chance to chase after them as she spotted Dipper and Steven, returning to the party in just as much of a hurry as everyone else was leaving it. The boys only stopped just shy of the stage, desperate to catch their breaths and their bearings after everything they’d been through.
“Guys, what’s going on?!” Mabel asked them, concerned.
Steven was the first to try to offer an answer, albeit a broken, breathless one. “W-we…. agents…. woods… journal… spell… zom-”
“Zombies!” Mabel finished for him. Sure enough, the army of the undead was only just emerging from the woods, groaning and growling as they marched straight for the Mystery Shack. As frightening of a sight as it was, Mabel couldn’t help but fix her brother with a frustrated glare. “Dipper, what’s the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?”
“Raise the dead…” Dipper said, sighing.
“And what did you do?”
“Raised the dead…”
“S-so, uh, what are we gonna do?” Steven drew in close to the twins as the zombies continued their approach. “There’s so many of them, and only three of us!”
“Make that four!” Soos proclaimed as he came to stand before the kids. “Stay back, dudes. This is about to get intense.”
Despite his resolve, there was little any of them could do but back up against the shack as the zombies pushed in. “We gotta find the Gems!” Steven cried over the noisy onslaught.
“How are we supposed to do that?!” Dipper asked. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re totally surrounded!”
“Duck!” Mabel warned just in time. Everyone did exactly that as one of the zombies slung its disembodied head straight at them.
“Dudes, stay calm,” Soos cautioned. “I’ve been training for this moment my whole life. With all the horror movies I’ve seen, I literally know everything there is to know about how to avoid zombies.”
He barely had time to finish speaking before the unthinkable happened. A zombie came up from behind, latching onto Soos’ arm and sinking its teeth in deep. The kids watched, shocked, as his skin paled and his eyes began to glow. Sure signs that he wasn’t just the zombies’ first victim; he had become one himself. “On second thought,” he turned back to the kids. “Gonna flip the script. Can I… eat your brains? Yea or nay? Seeing some yea faces over here.”
The kids only answered him with a shared, scared scream. With no one left to guard them and no real means of fighting back, escape was their only option. Not that they had much of a chance as the zombies began to surround them on all sides, all more than eager to get a bite or three.
But then, just when it seemed like there was no way out, rescue finally arrived. A large table slammed into several of the zombies, mowing them down in an explosion of detaching limbs. Seconds later, a familiar spear skewered several of the corpses straight through the chest, while a whip coiled around several more, squeezing them until their brittle bones snapped.
The kids heaved a sigh of relief as the Gems dropped in from above between them and the zombies, their weapons already poised for more. “Ugh, zombies ,” Amethyst groaned, lashing out at one that came in too close for comfort. “Man, it’s been years since we’ve beaten some old dead heads in. Heck, it’s been so long I can barely even remember what happened last time...”
“Kids! Are you all alright?!” Pearl glanced back at the trio behind them. “What happened?”
“Dipper accidentally summoned the zombies to try and convince those government guys that all the weird stuff in Gravity Falls is real!” Steven quickly explained.
“Steven!” Dipper snapped.
“Oh, was I not supposed to tell them that? Sorry!”
“You did what ?!” Pearl looked at Dipper, appalled.
“Dude!” Amethyst scolded as she fought to break the end of her whip away from a zombie.
“I-I didn’t mean to!” Dipper protested. “I was just-”
“There will be time to talk about this later!” Garnet shouted over the groaning corpses. “For now, you three need to get inside! We’ll deal with them.”
None of the kids argued with this plan. Instead, they took the clearing the Gems created for them, leaving them to fend the creatures off as they tried to find a way inside. For their part, the Gems stood strong against the horde, or at least, they did at first. Garnet slammed her fists hard into several drooping jaws at once, sending more than a few zombie heads flying in her wake. Amethyst summoned another whip, using both weapons to slam several zombies straight into each other, swiftly splitting them apart. Pearl took to the air, leaping high before diving back down to cut down a pack of zombies that had gone after the kids. She was just about ready to call upon another spear when a zombie managed to chomp down hard on her exposed arm when she wasn’t looking.
“Ow!” Pearl yelped, swinging her other arm out to punch the zombie away. “Ugh, it’s times like these I’m glad that we’re made of light instead of flesh. Still, that doesn’t make these things any less annoying!”
“Seriously,” Amethyst kicked the zombie gnawing on her leg away. “How many of these creeps did Dipper even summon anyway?!”
“Stand your ground, Gems!” Garnet ordered. “Don’t let them overwhelm you!” And yet, the zombies were doing exactly that as they forced the Gems back up against the shack. A troubling sign when there were still so many of them and so few of the Gems.
At the same time, Dipper, Mabel, and Steven continued their desperate search for a way inside. To their dismay, almost every entrance was blocked by yet another flock of zombies. With no apparent way in, there was only one other tactic left to resort to: escape.
“Quick! The golf cart!” Dipper led the way to the cart first, hoping they could use it to outrun the horde. Before they could even get close, however, another group of zombies pounced on it, knocking it onto its side. “Oh come on!”
“Hoo, that’s a bummer,” Soos piped up from somewhere in the zombie pack. “Good news for me though.”
“Soos!” Dipper scolded, annoyed.
“Sorry, dude, I just really want those brains!”
Once more, the kids found themselves pressed against the shack. Any entrance was far too out of reach, as was any real means of defending themselves. “What do we do now?!” Mabel anxiously asked.
“Uh… maybe I can try summoning my shield?” Steven suggested. “Come on! We could really use you right about now!” He pulled his shirt up, practically begging his gem to work. But of course, right when they needed its power most, it stubbornly refused to respond. Just like always, it seemed.
“Stay back!” Dipper shouted at the zombies as he threw the nearest thing on hand. The tiny disco ball went flying into the mouth of one of the zombies, which swallowed it whole. Trapped inside of its exposed stomach, the ball colorfully shined from inside of its ribcage, casting the rest of the horde in a sharp, garish sort of light.
“Give it up, dudes!” Soos encouraged, leading the pack. “Your fighting only makes us look more rad!”
“Oh man, it’s like things just keep going from bad to worse tonight!” Steven cried as he and the twins huddled in close.
“W-what happened to the Gems?” Mabel glanced around for any sign of help, finding none. “And where’s Grunkle Stan?”
“How’s he supposed to help?” Dipper bitterly scoffed. “He doesn’t even believe in the supernatural!”
Or at the very least, that’s what Stan claimed.
Because at that very moment, deep beneath the Mystery Shack and far out of the chaos of what was happening around it, sat Stan. He’d taken to the basement awhile ago, if only to do what he could to keep his work hidden from those bothersome agents and his even more bothersome nephew. Even now, he was still fuming about it all–only less at Dipper and more at himself.
He hated that it had to be like this. While he was a regular pro at lying and sneaking around, to do it with his own family like this, for so long? It made him feel guilty in a way he couldn’t shove out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. It might’ve been a little easier if the twins weren’t so smart, but the problem was they were , especially Dipper. Not only was he smart, he was determined, dangerously so, to get the answers he was after.
Just like someone else Stan used to know.
“Those agents could ruin everything,” he muttered as he flipped through the first journal. “Darn kid! He has no idea what he’s messing with. He’s stubborn, that’s his problem.” Stan paused as he closed the journal, catching his own reflection on the golden six-fingered hand on its cover. “Sorta like me, I suppose…”
Another troubling thought, one that Stan swiftly forced out of his mind. Because watching Dipper–or Mabel for that matter–turning out like him, like either of them? It was unthinkable.
“Ugh, I’ve got too much on my mind to worry about those kids right now.” Stan sat the journal down in favor of focusing on the machine. As daunting of a task as it was, it was far less stressful than thinking about anything else right now. Especially the twins. “Now, let’s see here…”
Above ground, zombies were still swarming around the shack from seemingly every side. They continued to pose a problem for Steven, Dipper, and Mabel, as they struggled to find a way to slip inside. All while struggling to not get caught and killed in the process.
When one of the zombies reached for her, Mabel whacked it away with the only thing she had on hand: the karaoke machine. “Take that, suckah!” she shouted, plowing the machine straight into the corpse’s head and sending it flying. “Huh, this thing’s a surprisingly good weapon!”
Still, the zombies kept on coming, with two more always seeming to show up to take the place of any of their fallen kin. With the path to the door finally clear, the kids charged for it–only for it to swing open right before they could reach it. They shared a startled cry as they fell onto each other just shy of the door, glancing up to see who had opened it for them.
“Kids?” Greg frowned down at them. “What’s going on?”
“Dad!” Steven hurried to his feet before helping the twins up. “No time to explain! We gotta get inside, now!”
Before Greg even had a chance to ask, the kids pushed past him into the shack, slamming the door and locking it tightly behind them. “Quick! We need to board up all the windows!” Dipper shouted, already searching for supplies to do exactly that.
“W-what for?!” Greg asked, alarmed.
“K, so long story short, there’s like a ton of zombies out there,” Mabel quickly explained. . “So we’re hiding out in here, trying not to get eaten by them. You know, normal party stuff.”
“Z-Zombies?!” Greg started, frightened. “I’m in the bathroom for what, five minutes, and suddenly there are zombies running around? Where are the-”
He didn’t get a chance to finish before the door suddenly slammed open, its locks broken through. At first, everyone fearfully thought the zombies had already made it in. Thankfully, it turned out to only be the Gems instead. They quickly closed the door behind them, once again locking it up as they leaned their full weight against it for good measure. As exhausted and beleaguered as they were after the battle they’d just been through, it was all they could do to give themselves a much-needed rest.
“Guys!” Steven ran over to them. The obvious bites they sported on their skin was more than enough to make him worry, but unlike Soos, they didn’t seem to be suffering any ill-effects from them. Not that any of them got much comfort out of that in light of everything else.
“There’s too many of them,” Garnet reported, shifting her cracked shades. “Even for us.”
“We barely made it in here alive!” Pearl shook her head. “These zombies are so much more aggressive than the ones we’ve dealt with in the past!”
“And they just don’t know when to quit either!” Amethyst shoved a plank of wood in front of one of the windows to keep the zombies out. “They’re easy to beat, but so dang hard to get rid of!”
“S-so what do we do?” Dipper asked, hoping that the Gems would have some kind of solution. And yet, as they exchanged a terse, uncertain glance, it became clear that they didn’t.
There was no time to think of anything either. The zombies suddenly managed to crash through one of the barred off windows, giving them an open way inside. “Hey, dudes!” Soos brightly greeted as he leaned into the window. “By the way, I taught the zombies how to get into the fuse box. To these dudes, I’m like, a genius or something! Get those brains, dawgs!”
No more than a second later, the power starkly shut off, plunging everyone inside into near-total darkness. Still, the Gems summoned their weapons, knowing they had to do whatever they could to protect the kids and Greg. Even if they could barely protect themselves.
“Stay strong,” Garnet commanded, her fists tight as the zombies lurched towards them. “And if we go down… we go down fighting!”
“Right!” Amethyst and Pearl agreed as yet another violent scuffle began.
Meanwhile, Greg grabbed his guitar and urged the kids to follow him deeper into the shack, hoping to find some cover there. “This way!” he shoved the den door open, only to find a zombie standing right behind it. With a frightened shout, he swung his guitar at it, bashing the bones in its chest to pieces. Still, there were plenty more where that one came from to keep them from taking even another step forward.
“Dipper, isn’t there something in the journal about defeating zombies?!” Mabel asked as they were all forced to crowd into a corner.
“No!” Dipper frantically flipped through the book for what felt like the hundredth time tonight alone. “There’s nothing in here about their weaknesses!”
“S-so is this…?” Steven trailed off, pressing against his father for support.
“I… I think so…” Dipper shut the journal, guilt sweeping through him. Guilt that only mounted as more zombies continued pouring into the shack, as the Gem tried and failed to fight them off, as his friends, his sister , cowered in fear for their very lives. “This can’t be happening…” he shook his head. “I wanted answers so bad that I put everyone in danger. Now we’re toast, it’s all my fault, and no one can save us!”
He’d barely finished speaking when a grisled, bony hand suddenly latched tightly around his arm. Dipper didn’t even hear Steven and Mabel shouting for him as the zombie hoisted him up into the air, drawing him ever closer to its wide, salivating maw.
“Whoa! H-hold on!” Greg drew his guitar back to swing. “I’ve got-” He stopped short as another zombie latched onto his instrument-turned-weapon, nearly prying it out of his grip altogether. “Hey! Greg shouted, desperately trying to take it back before it was too late. “Let go of that!”
Try as they might to pull Dipper back to safety themselves, the zombie’s hold on him was much too strong for either Steven or Mabel to break. Even Dipper’s own thrashing and kicking proved useless against the inevitable. Against the dark, dreadful fate he had no one to blame for but himself. “Steven! Mabel! I-I’m sorry!” he managed to get out in what he knew would be his final seconds.
Except… they weren’t. Because just before the zombie could clamp its jaw on his shoulder, nothing short of a miracle happened.
Out of nowhere, something slammed into the back of the zombie’s head hard . As its skull fell to the floor, its grip on Dipper loosened, allowing him to fall to the ground, largely unscathed. He barely had a chance to glance up when he saw the zombie’s head shatter under Stan’s foot.
He stood firm, his fez missing, his suit torn, and a bloodied baseball bat slung over his shoulder as he fiercely glared down at the kids, sharply ordering, “You two! Attic! NOW!”
“Grunkle Stan…?” Dipper asked in breathless disbelief. Stan, however, was having none of it as the zombies began crowding back in.
“I said NOW!” he barked, pointing to the stairs. “Same goes for you two!” he yelled at Greg and Steven. No one bothered arguing with him as they rushed for the stairs, encountering a stray zombie or two along the way. Greg made quick work of them with his guitar, allowing them to escape to the relative safety of the attic as Stan stayed behind to help the Gems. Much to their bewilderment.
“What are you three looking at!?” Stan scowled at the Gems as he knocked another round of zombies back. “Haven’t you ever seen a man beat a zombie’s head in before?”
Despite their gawking, it only took a moment for them to pull themselves together again and get back into the fray. “Woo! Heck yeah, Stan!” Amethyst cheered as she jumped in alongside him. “Let’s show these dead creeps who’s boss!”
“We were just rescued, by Stan , of all people…” Pearl muttered, dumbfounded. “I can’t believe it…”
“Believe it,” Garnet returned, decking another zombie in the jaw. Pearl followed suit, shaking her awe away as she swung her spear at a group of incoming corpses.
“All right, you dead jerks,” Stan snarled at the zombies surrounding him and Amethyst. “Are you ready to die twice?!”
“Yeah! Let’s get ‘em!” Amethyst lashed her whip out, sending several zombies flying.
Stan joined her, beating even more with his bat as the brawl moved into the living room. “The only wrinkly monster who harasses my family is me !” Stan shouted as he brutally kicked a zombie back. “And the Gems, every now and then.”
“Hey!” Pearl protested.
“Behind you,” Stan nodded at the zombie coming up right behind her. With a startled gasp, Pearl spun around and stabbed it straight through its chest.
“Dang, Stan! You are on fire tonight!” Amethyst hooted, excited.
Stan didn’t bother responding as he swung for another zombie, only for the corpse to catch it and nearby bite it in half. Still, Stan came into this fight more than prepared. He abandoned his bat in favor of his brass knuckles, which he used to clock the zombie clean between the eyes. “Anyone else want a piece!?”
“Looks like they do,” Garnet said. Despite their progress, the horde only continued to outnumber them, with even more spilling in through the front door now. “This way! Quick!” Garnet pointed to the stairs. The Gems followed her up toward the attic, and Stan trailed behind after sending the grandfather clock careering down the staircase into the undead crowd to buy them some time.
For their part, Greg and the kids had only just made it to the attic. They had no time to catch their breath, however, as someone started pounding on it. No doubt the zombies, arriving to finish them all off. “Stay behind me!” Greg warned the kids as he raised his guitar to strike. Fortunately, he didn’t have to use it as Stan and the Gems were the ones who bursted into the room instead.
“Ugh, ow!” Stan coughed as he leaned against the door, exhausted. “Everything hurts.”
“Bar the door,” Garnet ordered, pushing him aside. Pearl jammed her spear against the door handle to keep any unwanted corpses from entering.
“Yeah, and put that thing down, Greg,” Amethyst scoffed, eyeing Greg’s guitar. “What, are we gonna defeat the zombies with the ‘power of music’ or something?”
“Hey, you can’t blame me for being a little tense,” Greg said, frowning. “We are dealing with actual flesh-eating zombies after all.”
“Just like in the movies!” Steven exclaimed, hoping to lighten the mood. Given their grim circumstances, it didn’t do much. “O-ok… so maybe not just like the movies…”
“Grunkle Stan, that was amazing!” Dipper exclaimed, initially impressed. Until he noticed just how battle-worn and weary his uncle truly looked. “Are you alright?” Stan only answered with a dry, withering look, one that all of the Gems shared as they looked to Dipper for an explanation he didn’t really have. “Heh, w-well… at least you can’t deny that magic exists anymore, right?”
In the beat of silence that followed, Stan had no choice but to avert his nephew’s gaze as he quietly admitted, “Kid, I’ve always known.”
“Wait… what are you talking about?” Dipper asked, taken aback.
“I’m not an idiot, Dipper!” Stan exclaimed. “Of course this town is weird! And the one thing I know about that weirdness is it's dangerous!”
Before anyone could get another word out, a zombie’s hand broke through the door, forcing everyone to move to the far side of the room. “And that danger is exactly what we’ve been trying to warn you kids about!” Pearl sternly agreed. “But did you listen to us? Of course not! Otherwise we wouldn’t be surrounded by an untold amount of reanimated corpses right now!”
“Ok, I’ll admit that what I did was really dumb,” Dipper said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Really, really dumb,” Mabel chimed in.
“Not helping!” Dipper shot his sister an aggravated look before turning to Stan. “But that still doesn’t explain why you’ve been pretending like none of this stuff exists all summer!”
“Oh really? Because I think it’s pretty obvious,” Stan said. “I’ve been lying about it to try and keep you away from it. To protect you from it!” Another zombie broke through the window, though it didn’t get far before Stan sent it plummeting to the ground far below. He stayed by the window, staring down at the mass of corpses set to overwhelm the shack–and all of them–in a matter of minutes. “Looks like I didn’t lie well enough…”
“So… what now?” Greg pleadingly looked to the Gems. “You guys have a plan, right?”
The Gems could only look to each other, at a total loss. “We don’t…” Garnet admitted, looking down. “Not this time.”
“B-but we have to do something !” Steven urged. “We can’t just let them climb up here and eat all our brains! I’m still using mine!”
“Well, normally the journal would help us,” Dipper took the book out one last time. The page he’d read from to summon the zombies offered no answers. Or so it seemed. “But there’s nothing in there about defeating zombies! It’s hopeless!”
“Wait!” Mabel gasped as the journal happened to catch one of the black lights lying on the floor. “Look at the text! It’s glowing in the black light!”
“What?” Dipper grabbed one of the lights, holding it over the book. Sure enough, when the neon struck its brittle pages, it illuminated countless notes and images he’d never even seen before. “No way!” Dipper exclaimed, awestruck. “All this time I thought I knew all the journal’s secrets, but they were hidden in invisible ink this whole time!”
“Invisible ink…?” Stan muttered, his eyes widening. It was so simple, so obvious … how had he never thought of it before?
“Wow!” Steven grinned. “And just when I thought the journal couldn’t get any cooler or more mysterious, it does! This is awesome!”
“Should we be concerned about this?” Pearl whispered to Garnet.
Garnet didn’t answer, at least not until she punched another zombie who had made it to the window away. “We’ll have plenty of time to be concerned about it later,” she told Pearl. After all, there were much bigger problems on their hands right now.
It didn’t take long for Dipper to find what he was looking for in the journal’s previously-concealed notes. “This is it!” he exclaimed before reading it aloud to the others. “Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by the combination of a stringed instrument and a perfect several-part harmony.”
“A stringed instrument, huh?” Greg grinned at his guitar. “What do you know? Looks like the power of music might just save the day after all.”
“Yeah, but how do we create a several-part harmony?” Dipper wondered, looking over the journal once more. “I have a naturally high-pitched scream…?”
“I can make noises with my body,” Stan offered. “Sometimes intentionally.”
“Boys, boys,” Mabel shook her head. “I think you’re both missing the obvious solution here.”
“Yeah! We gotta sing!” Steven exclaimed, stars in his eyes.
“Sing?” Everyone else shared a bewildered glance at such an outlandish idea.
“Uh, I don’t think we’ve ever used singing to beat monsters before…” Amethyst frowned. “Most of the time we just beat them up till they go away. But since that isn’t working for these guys…”
“I suppose we don’t really have any other viable options…” Pearl mused. “But could something that simple really work?”
Garnet only shrugged as she nodded at the window, reminding everyone they had no time to lose. Whatever they were going to do, they needed to do it now. “It’s worth a shot.”
The number of zombies assaulting the shack–inside and out–was easily in the hundreds by now. They stormed the house, searching high and low for any potential victims. Only to find that those victims had already formulated a plan to stop them in their tracks.
The sudden screeching of a microphone drew the horde’s attention, leading most of them back outside. On the roof awning high above them, the Pines and the Gems did what they could to get ready. Mabel made quick work of setting the karaoke machine up while Greg plugged an amp in and tuned his guitar.
“Ok, Pearl, it’s 56383,” Steven read the song number from the karaoke book.
“56383…” Pearl punched the number in again after several failed attempts already.
“Uh, sometime tonight, Pearl?” Stan urged, glancing down at their undead “audience”.
“I’m trying!” Peal snapped. “Steven, are you sure that’s the right number? I keep typing it in, but it won’t play!”
“Oh, you need to hit start.”
“...I see.” As soon as she did, an upbeat pop track began playing. Greg quickly picked up on the tune, and it wasn’t long before he was strumming along to it.
“Zombies and gentlemen!” Mabel shouted into her microphone. “I’m Mabel, they’re Dipper, Stan, Steven, Mr. Universe, and the Crystal Gems, and together we’re Love Patrol Alpha!”
“I never agreed to that name!” Dipper quickly clarified.
“Uh… kids? Our lives may not be worth this,” Stan said, frowning.
“Stop whining,” Garnet sternly countered. “Just sing.”
“Hit it, Steven!” Mabel encouraged. And Steven was more than ready to belt the first words of the song out with plenty of bravado to spare.
“We can’t help it if we make a scene,” he began, proudly strutting across the makeshift stage. “On Friday night in our hot pink limousine…”
“Partying till dawn,” Dipper picked up where Steven left off, albeit much less confidently. “Got my favorite dress on?! You guys, this is stupid!” he huffed, embarrassed. Even so, Steven and Mabel hardly cared; they were already having the time of their lives, even despite the deadly threat just a few feet below them.
“We’re rolling to the party, turning heads, stopping traffic,” Mabel sang, swaying to the beat. “I just keep dancing, posing, joking, laughing-”
She cut herself with a scream as a zombie made it up to them, lashing out at her with a fearsome hiss. Right before it could reach her, Stan kicked it off the awning, letting it crash back down to the ground below. Even so, it was just the reminder they all needed: like it or not, their lives depended on this performance. “Guys!” Mabel turned to the others. “We have to sing together or it won’t work!”
“Way ahead of you!” Amethyst grinned as she boldly took the next verse. “I’ve got a pair of eyes that they’re getting lost in!” She smirked as she playfully bumped into Pearl, prompting her to sing along with her.
“Who cares what they say? We keep on walking,” they harmonized before Stan begrudgingly joined them.
“The boys are dazzled but they’re all just bores,” he sang, wincing at both the words and his own gravelly voice singing them.
Fortunately, Garnet continued on after him, clear and smooth. “When I point, they look–just show them the door!” She motioned for everyone to gather around her as Greg strummed even louder when the chorus arrived.
“Ohhh, haven’t you noticed, girls are what we are?” They all sang together, harmonizing as much as they were able. As their voices combined, a ripple of pained screams shot out from the zombies blow. The effect was already immediate, as several of their heads exploded, unable to handle the music flowing through them. It was an encouraging sight, one that gave them all just a little hope about their chances as they continued. “Ohhh, we’re taking over the stars! Ohhh, haven’t you noticed we made it this far? Ohhh, girls are what we are!”
As the song reached a break, Greg played a powerful riff on his guitar, grinning as he watched even more zombies go down during it. Everyone else shared his smile, each of them proudly part of this performance now as it only continued to gain momentum from there.
“Oh, everybody needs a friend,” Steven, Dipper, and Mabel sang together.
“And I’ve got you, and you, and you,” the Gems twirled, playfully pointing to the kids.
“So many, I can’t even name them-” Stan and Greg continued the buildup before everyone enthusiastically joined in.
“We’re queens of the disco! We’re too famous!”
With all the fun they were having, none of them were paying the zombies too much mind now. Not that they even needed to; their tune caused wave upon wave of corpses to collapse, their skulls shattering, bones breaking, tides turning against them. And all the while, one strong, happy harmony rang out through the night, overcoming the undead army that nearly destroyed them all.
“Ohhh, haven’t you noticed girls are what we are?”
“Ohhh, we’re taking over the stars!”
“Ohhh, we’re coming into view as the world is turning!”
“Ohhh, we’ve made it this far!”
Still, some zombies managed to make it through most of the melody. One of them heaved itself onto the roof, catching Steven and Dipper off guard as it towered over them, ready to attack. At least until a burst from Mabel’s confetti cannon sent it flying just as they all came together for the song’s big finish.
“Now everyone can see us burning!” the adults began before handing the next line off to the kids.
“Now everyone can see us burning!” they sang, bringing everyone back in for one final, triumphant line.
“Now everyone can see us burning!”
With one final guitar riff from Greg, the song reached a satisfying end. In its wake, the now-silent air filled with cheers and laughter just as the sun started rising over the Mystery Shack. “Thank you!” Mabel blew a kiss to the yard, now strewn with unmoving zombie parts. “We’ll be here all night!”
“Deal with it, zombie idiots!” Stan laughed.
“We’re all karaoke beasts!” Amethyst howled, pumping her fists.
“I have to give you some credit, Greg,” Pearl offered him a small, genuine smile. “You really came through for us with that guitar of yours.”
“So, thank you,” Garnet nodded, just as sincere.
“Aw… well…” Greg blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re welcome. That really means a lot coming from you guys. You know, I-”
He stopped short as the karaoke machine suddenly started playing the song all over again from the very beginning. “Uh, Pearl?” Dipper asked, frowning. “Exactly how many times did you enter the song before hitting start?”
“Probably about 15 times,” Pearl replied. Even so, Steven and Mabel shared a delighted gasp, already leaping at the chance for even more karaoke fun with their families and friends. Especially now that their lives no longer depended on it.
“Encore!”
After about five or so repeat performances, the Gems fanned out through the shack’s property, checking for any last straggling zombies. Once they confirmed the coast was clear, the Pines and the Universes came down to inspect the mess for themselves. Needless to say, the shack was a wreck, with the withered bodies of the decaying dead laying battered and broken at nearly every step.
Inside the shack, things weren’t much better. Furniture had been overturned, windows broken, doors busted in. And yet, for as horrific as the entire onslaught had been, everyone was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief that they’d managed to make it through it alive.
Still, that didn’t mean it was all over quite yet.
“I’m really sorry about this, guys,” Dipper sighed as they all surveyed the damage in the den. “I totally ruined everything.”
“Dipper, are you kidding me?” Mabel cut in, grinning. “I got to sing karaoke with some of my favorite people in the world! No party could ever top that!”
“Yeah!” Steven warmly agreed. “That was seriously the funnest life-threatening situation we’ve ever been in. And I think we’ve been in enough life-threatening situations to know.”
“Still…” Pearl piped up. By now, all three of the Gems were fixing Dipper with an equally disappointed look. After everything that happened last night, he couldn’t say he didn’t deserve it. “I do happen to recall a certain someone telling us that he would be “super careful” with a certain journal… Don’t you, Dipper?”
“Right…” Dipper looked away, rubbing his arm. “I guess I sort of broke that one, didn’t I?”
“Sorta?” Amethyst scoffed. “Dude, you summoned a whole army of zombies.”
“Ok, I get it, you guys are mad,” Dipper said, still averting their gazes out of shame. “Which is understandable. But… you’re not gonna make me hand over the journal or anything, are you?”
The Gems exchanged a glance, their expressions hard at first, though they soon began to slowly soften. “We can’t very well do that,” Garnet admitted. “After all, we already told you that you could keep it. But we do expect you to start using more responsibly from here on out.”
“Well, after what just happened, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that,” Dipper said with a small, relieved smile.
“We’d better not,” Garnet advised. “But in the end, whether or not you get to keep that journal isn’t our call. It’s Stan’s.”
As surprised as Stan was to hear this, he still met his nephew’s pleading gaze evenly. “Kid, listen,” he began with a tired sigh. “This town is crazy . And if you wanna know exactly how crazy, just ask the Gems, ‘cause they’ve been here way longer than I have. But still, you need to be careful. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I’ll let you hold onto that spooky journal, as long as you promise me that you’ll only use it for self-defense and not go looking for trouble.”
“Okay…” Dipper tentatively agreed. “But as long as you promise me that you don’t have any other bombshell secrets about this town.”
Stan set his jaw, a knot already forming in his gut over the lie he knew he’d have to tell. Still, he nodded, even if he was crossing his fingers behind his back when he said, “Promise.”
“Promise,” Dipper said, doing the exact same.
With all this talk of promises, Steven couldn’t help but frown as he stole a glance over at the Gems. He still felt like they were keeping something from him, something big, even after they’d promised to be more open, more honest. Whatever it was, they hadn’t wanted the agents knowing about it–or anyone else for that matter. It had to go beyond their unearthly origins; this went deeper, somewhere far beyond even that. And while Steven desperately wanted to know what it was, he knew he wasn’t ready to pose that question to the Gems. At least, not yet.
“Yikes, we have got a lot of damage to clean up,” Stan glanced around the ruined living room. “Where’s my handyman anyway?”
As if on cue, Soos wandered into the room, still zombified as he let out a ravenous groan. “Brains…. Braaains…”
“Holy Moses!” Stan grabbed a chair, ready to launch it at a moment’s notice.
“Aw, geez! Another one?!” Amethyst asked as all three of the Gems pulled their weapons out.
“No wait!” Steven cut in before they could attack. “It’s just Soos!”
“Oh…” Stan and the Gems eased up, despite their shared confusion.
“Good thing there’s a page in here about curing zombification,” Dipper pulled the journal out again. “It’s gonna take a lot of formaldehyde.”
“Ooh, and cinnamon!” Mabel exclaimed, reading over her brother’s shoulder.
“Come on, Soos, let’s fix you up,” Dipper used the chair Stan had dropped to prod Soos into the kitchen.
“Brains… Brains…” Soos groaned, still trying to reach the kids. Not that any of them were genuinely afraid of him.
“Soos, cut it out!” Mabel scolded.
“Yeah, everybody knows it's super rude to try and eat peoples’ brains,” Steven added, smirking.
“Heh, sorry dudes!” Soos chuckled, unable to resist his zombie instincts.
As the others headed into the kitchen, Dipper slowly followed. He couldn’t help but smile as he pulled a black light out to get a better look at the journals’ hidden entries. “I can’t believe it!” he exclaimed, glancing over the invisible passages, each one more interesting than the last. “All this time the author’s secrets were hiding in plain sight! A whole new chapter of mysteries to explore…”
As dawn rose over the forest, a quiet calm had fallen over the trees in the aftermath of the zombie attack. That stillness only lasted for a moment, before two disheveled, exhausted figures pulled themselves out of the fissure the zombies had come from. Fortunately, they weren’t corpses, though after everything they’d been through last night, they’d gotten dangerously close to becoming ones more times than they could count.
“That was insane!” Trigger brushed the filth off his suit as he rose to stand. “I’ve never seen anything like this! Zombies, aliens, magical books! Who do we even report to?”
Powers’ was unmoved as he pulled the skull attached to his suit coat off, watching as it crumbled to dust in his hand. “This is bigger than we imagined,” he said with cold resolve. “We need to bring in the big guns.”
“But they’ll never believe us!”
“Then we’ll make them believe us,” Powers asserted. He narrowed his eyes as he set his sights on the Gem temple, just past the trees. Much like the quiet, impossible little town it sat within, clearly, there was far more to it–and these so-called “Crystal Gems”--than met the eye. “This is the town we’ve been looking for.”
Notes:
Next time... a new threat arrives from somewhere far away.
Chapter 23: Marble Madness
Summary:
Tension arises between the kids and the Gems when Steven and Dipper discover something unsettling in the warp stream.
Notes:
Wow, a chapter that's barely over 10k? Who can believe it! I can, mostly because I drastically shortened this chapter down from its original incarnation, and in doing so, cut a lot of unneccessary fat. As a result, I think it's a lot tighter, which is good for a chapter that introduces everyone's favorite clod, Peridot! So with that outta the way, let's get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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After a good amount of begging, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel had been allowed to come along with the Gems to track down another corrupted monster. It was a relatively safe mission: a single creature easily caught in a sunny, wide-open meadow. Even so, watching the Gems in action was always a delight–especially when they didn’t have to worry about fighting for their own lives this time.
“I can’t believe that went so well!” Pearl exclaimed, satisfied. She and Amethyst were the first to make their way out of one of the many towering flower patches filling the meadow.
“Yeah,” Amethyst agreed. “That was kinda great when you hit it with your spear and it went like ‘boosh’!”
“And the way you were circling around it?” Pearl added, blushing. “Almost looked like strategy.”
“Heh, well you know,” Amethyst smirked, glancing away. “I can do that stuff too.”
Garnet trailed after her teammates, silently keeping mind over the kids, or more specifically, on Mabel as she happily frolicked through the flowers. “Ok, so I just gotta say that this is the prettiest Gem place we’ve ever been to, hands down!”
“Speak for yourself,” Dipper shoved his way out of the flowers. He shot his sister an annoyed glare as he nursed his sore and swollen arm. “I got stung by at least four bees back there, all because of that dumb flower crown you just had to make me.”
“Don’t act like you didn’t love it,” Mabel teased as she adjusted her own flower crown. “What’d you do with it anyway? Don’t tell me you just threw my careful craftsmanship away like it was nothing , Dipper!”
“I didn’t,” Dipper rolled his eyes. “I gave it to Steven. Not sure if that was the best choice now though…”
He frowned as he glanced back at Steven, who barely managed to make his way out of the flowers. Assaulted by allergies, his eyes were red and his nose was running, but even so, he sported his flower crown with pride. “Sorry I couldn’t help much with the monster,” Steven sniffled, completely congested. “I think the flowers are making me-” He cut himself off with a sneeze, with most of it landing on Garnet’s nearby leg. “Oh! Sorry, Garnet!”
“I’ll live,” Garnet coolly wiped the mucus off her hip.
“Steven!” Pearl scolded. “You’re supposed to sneeze into your antecubital fossa!”
“My… what?”
“You’re—this thing!” She pointed at the crook of her elbow before continuing onto the warp pad.
“Steven, if you’re so allergic to the flowers, why don’t you just, I dunno, take the flower crown off?” Dipper asked.
“Why would I do that?” Steven frowned. “It’s so pretty and Mabel worked really hard on it!”
“Well at least somebody appreciates it,” Mabel smirked.
With their work here complete, everyone crammed their way onto the warp pad. After one final safety check from Pearl, they set off for home. The telltale column of light engulfed them, sending them on a quick trip through a space that could only be described as magical. Even after several trips, the kids were still utterly mesmerized by just how swift, seamless, and surreal it all was.
“Hey, you guys know what this would be a great time for?” Mabel pulled her camera out of her sweater. “A scrapbook-ertunity! Everyone huddle in and say ‘we beat a Gem monster!’”
The Gems were quick to do as she said, all but pinning Steven and Dipper in the center as they exclaimed, “We beat a Gem monster!” Mabel snapped the photo, striking a bright flash from the camera. The suddenness of it was enough to stir up another oncoming sneeze for Steven. He heaved, trying his best to hold it back, but it was already clear that was a battle he was about to lose.
“Do it at Pearl!” Amethyst encouraged, laughing.
“Steven! Your fossa!” Pearl warned, eyes wide with panic.
This exchange was all but lost on Steven as he finally let his heavy sneeze go. The force of it was enough to send him reeling backwards, until he crashed right into Dipper. The boys careened dangerously close to the edge of the stream, and even the Gems weren’t able to catch them in time before they were shoved half out of it.
The first thing either of them felt was cold. Bitter cold that only their heads were really exposed to. Still, that hardly seemed to matter when weighed against what waited beyond the walls of the stream. A dark, vast, overwhelmingly empty expanse, only dotted by the occasional speck of distant light. Ominous clouds swirled over that emptiness, roaring with thunder and flashes of lightning–a storm brewing, only barely contained. It was captivating as much as it was terrifying, but in the short seconds that followed, it only doubled down on being both of those things.
It happened so fast they barely managed to catch sight of it. A flash of light burst its way into existence as a straight, endless line across the void. And, speeding somewhere inside of that light, something round and small shot straight upward. Traveling through warp space just as all of them were.
Both Steven and Dipper opened their mouths to ask each other what it could have been. Only to find themselves choking on air that, suddenly, neither of them were getting enough of. Fortunately, they were a long way from suffocating when a steady pair of hands grabbed their shoulders and pulled them back to safety.
Before either of them could make sense of what was happening, Pearl hovered over them, checking them both for any sort of harm. “Careful! It’s dangerous to stick your heads outside of the stream!”
“There’s not much air,” Garnet calmly explained. “And it’s very cold.”
“Whoa… Did you guys die out there?” Mabel asked the boys, her eyes wide with curiosity.
“Heh, looks like it to me,” Amethyst snorted out a laugh. True, both of them looked pretty out of sorts after their brush with the void. Or more specifically, their brush with what they’d seen there.
“Y-you guys!” Steven took in a sharp gasp. “We… we saw something out there!”
“What?” Pearl raised an eyebrow.
“H-he’s right! There was-” Dipper cut himself off with a cough, trying to recover lost air. “There was something else warping out there!”
“No way! Really?” Mabel asked. “I wanna see it too!” Her attempt to swim over to the edge of the stream was quickly stopped by Garnet’s hand.
“There’s nothing to see out there.”
“Huh?” Steven and Dipper exchanged a confused glance.
“Garnet’s right,” Pearl agreed. “It’s impossible that anything would be out in warp space. Perhaps the lack of air out there made you both see things?”
“I can see perfectly… Pearl?” Steven guessed, squinting against his allergy-ridden eyes.
“You guys, we know what we saw,” Dipper insisted. “Ok, well… maybe we don’t know exactly what it was, but it was definitely out there! If you don’t believe us, just check for yourselves.”
“Sure, whatever,” Amethyst shrugged. “If it’ll chill you guys out.” She proceeded to pop her head out of the stream for a moment or two before coming back in, completely unshaken. “Yep, just like we’re sayin’. Nothing’s out there but a bunch of clouds and cold.”
“But it was there!” Steven protested. “We both saw it!”
“Yeah! If you guys would just-”
“Dipper, Steven,” Garnet cut them both off. “It’s like I said. There is nothing out there. There hasn’t been anything else for a long, long time.”
Pearl and Amethyst nodded, totally aligned with Garnet. Even Mabel could only offer the boys a halfhearted shrug. Steven and Dipper, however, weren’t so ready to move on. No matter what the Gems might say to convince them otherwise, they both knew what had happened, that they’d seen something out in the vast depths of warp space.
The only problem? They had no idea what that something even was.
Steven struggled to get even remotely comfortable in bed that night. How could he, when the warp pad was only setting just a few short feet away? If something really was drifting through warp space right now, was there a chance that it could somehow wind up warping straight into the temple itself somehow? And if it did, would he even be able to do anything at all about it?
Even against such troubling thoughts, he could feel his eyes begin to grow heavy, but he didn’t dare let himself sleep so easily. He had to be on guard, alert and ready for whatever that thing might be. As long as there was a chance, no matter how small, that it was real and could show up here, he refused to rest.
Steven nearly jumped a foot out of his bed as a pale light suddenly flooded the loft. He whipped his gaze over the kitchen, expecting a dangerous intruder. Instead, all he found was–
“Amethyst!”
“Hey, Steven,” she grinned at him as she finished her late-night fridge raid. “Want some macaroni-cheese?”
Steven raised an eyebrow at the bag of powdered cheese, watching as Amethyst hungrily downed it whole. “W-wait!” He stopped her as she made her way back over to the gate. “I… I can’t sleep.”
“Why?” Amethyst licked the cheese powder off her hand. “Are you scared of that thing you and Dipper saw earlier warping right into the house and attacking you in your sleep?”
“…No…” Steven squeaked, anxious.
“Oh good!” Amethyst flashed him a teasing smirk as the gate opened behind her. “Glad to know you’re not totally wimping out on us after all! Well, nighty night! Don’t let the ‘warp monster’ bite! Ha!” With that, she disappeared into the temple, leaving Steven alone and utterly afraid of what the next few hours might hold.
“Looks like I’m not sleeping tonight…” he sighed, slowly heaving himself out of bed. He grabbed his water gun and crept downstairs, ready to serve as the temple’s first and last line of defense. Somebody needed to, and since no one seemed like they even wanted to try to believe him or Dipper, Steven knew it had to be him.
“Steven…” Pearl cooed as she lightly tapped his forehead the next morning. From his spot against the front door, Steven barely budged. Despite his devout efforts to stay awake, sleep had ultimately defeated him in the early hours after dawn. “Steven,” Pearl tried a little louder this time. “We’ve got a surprise for you-”
“Ah!” Steven jolted awake, reflexively pulling the trigger on his water gun. He pointed the weapon at whatever was “attacking” him, which just so happened to be Pearl. She fell back onto the floor, stunned and soaking wet, by the time Steven realized his mistake. “Oh! Sorry, Pearl!”
“Now you’re not getting any cookies,” Garnet said, a tray of freshly-baked cookies in her hands.
“Cookies?!” Amethyst hurried over. “I’ll take ‘em!”
Garnet could only stand by as Amethyst snatched the tray and poured the treats straight into her mouth. “Amethyst, slow down,” she advised, but Amethyst did anything but.
“I’m really sorry, you guys,” Steven said, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. “I just… I guess I didn’t…”
“Didn’t sleep,” Garnet finished, hands on her hips.
Steven confirmed her suspicions as he let out an exhausted yawn. “Maybe…”
“Good morning, everyone!” Mabel greeted as she burst into the house. She stopped short upon taking in the peculiar scene in front of her. “Whoa, what’s going on here? Were you guys having a water gun battle? ‘Cause if you were, I wanna play! I’ll just have Dipper go get-”
She cut herself off as she glanced back at her brother, leaning against the doorframe, half-asleep. “Seriously? Again ?” Mabel huffed, yanking him inside. “Now what did I tell you, bro-bro?”
“Uh… something about staying up all night reading the journal?” Dipper groggily guessed.
“That’s right. I told you not to do that because it would make you super tired the next day,” Mabel crossed her arms. “And what do ya know? I was right again, ‘cause you’re totally about to clonk out for like, the 20th time today!”
“No, I’m…” Dipper trailed off as he began to doze off once again. At least until Mabel roused him with a sharp snap of her fingers. “Huh?! What’s going—I-I mean, I’m totally awake! Yeah, not tired at all!” He let out an awkward chuckle, though clearly, Mabel and the Gems weren’t buying any of it. “So, uh… What were we talking about again?”
“Yeesh,” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “If I didn’t know any better, Dipper, now I’d think that you and Steven were twins instead of you and Mabel. You know, ‘cause you both have the same big ol’ bags under your eyes.”
“You didn’t sleep last night either, Dipper?” Steven asked, concerned and curious.
“Ugh, no,” Dipper sullenly admitted. “I was up all night looking through the journal for any hints about that… thing we saw in the warp stream yesterday!”
“And you didn’t find anything about it, which means that you pretty much wore yourself out for nothing,” Mabel concluded. “Which is something you do all the time, but hey, I’m not here to judge.” She paused, before loudly whispering to the Gems. “Yes, I am.”
“Hold on a minute,” Pearl said as she wrung the water out of her sash. “Is that what all this fuss is about? You two are still thinking about whatever it is you think you saw yesterday?”
“We don’t think we saw anything, because we really did see it!” Dipper argued. “Right, Steven?”
“Yeah,” Steven nodded, insistent. “It was real, you guys! Something was warping somewhere in the warp!”
“And we need to figure out what that something was,” Dipper contended. “What if it’s something dangerous or violent? You three would care about it then, right?”
“Sure, we would,” Amethyst said with a shrug. “If it was real.”
“But come on, you guys,” Mabel added. “When have Gem things ever been dangerous or violent before?”
“Are you seriously asking that question right now?” Dipper dryly asked. “Seriously?”
“We wouldn’t lie to you guys about something like this,” Steven practically pleaded with the Gems. “If you’d just hear us out, then we could-”
“Listen, both of you,” Pearl placed her hands on each of the boys’ heads. The gesture meant to calm them, but along with what she had to say next, it did anything but. “Nothing on Earth can use the warps but us. Nothing. Do you both understand?”
When they answered her with only silence, Pearl didn’t hesitate to firmly repeat herself. “Steven, Dipper. Nod in agreement if you understand.” They didn’t of course, still resisting what they knew couldn’t be true. Unfortunately for them both, Pearl was determined to do the same. “Nod in agreement if-”
“I’m confident Pearl is right,” Garnet interrupted. “There’s no use in either of you staying up all night and waiting or looking for something that you’re not going to find. But… if it’ll make you both feel better, we can go check.”
Steven couldn’t hold back a sigh of relief. Even if they didn’t entirely believe them just yet, something was better than nothing. Dipper almost felt the same way… until he realized exactly what the Gems’ angle here really was. They were simply placating them with a plan they hoped would prove them wrong.
Honestly, with such a frustrating thought in mind, he couldn’t wait until they were the ones who ended up being proven wrong instead.
“Woo! Warp tour! Warp tour!” Mabel cheered,always eager for another adventure, no matter the occasion. She was the first to make it to the warp pad, with everyone else squeezing in soon after. With only a single nod from Garnet, they were off on what was for most of them, nothing more than a simple “warp tour”.
But for Steven and Dipper, it was so much more than that.
Their first stop was their most recent destination: the flowery meadows. It hadn’t changed a bit since yesterday, as its tall blossoms still swayed in the peaceful breeze as the group warped in. “Nothing unusual here,” Garnet concluded. It hardly discouraged the boys though; after all, there were plenty of other places left to check.
“Oh boy! Since we’re back here we can make more flower crowns before we go!” Mabel clasped her hands together in delight.
“No,” Dipper quickly rejected the idea. For multiple reasons.
Still, just as they left, Steven heaved out another sneeze; not even the first one today with his allergies still acting up the way they were. Garnet excused him as she warped them off to the next stop on the tour.
To almost no one’s surprise, their other stops turned out to be just as uneventful. The kids had been to some of these places before, while others were entirely unfamiliar. Even so, they all kept their eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary, especially Steven and Dipper. They started out with high hopes that they’d find something to prove them right. But with each passing hour and each new stop, those hopes slowly started to dim more and more.
Still, they didn’t doubt what they’d seen, not even for a moment. As long as they had each other as witnesses, there’s no way they could. Even if no one else in the entire world could be bothered to believe them.
“Well, this is the last place to look,” Garnet said as they arrived at the towering Sky Spire. Just like all of their other stops, there was nothing to see here. Nothing to show that either of the boys’ claims should be taken seriously.
“W-what?!” Dipper asked, alarmed. “But… but that can’t be it! There’s got to be somewhere we haven’t checked yet! We need to-”
“Ugh, give it a rest already, Dipper,” Mabel groaned, annoyed. “Every place we’ve been today was super cool, yeah, but also super quiet. Why can’t you guys just accept that and let this thing go?”
“I agree,” Pearl nodded. “You both have blown this way out of proportion. We’ve looked all over! There’s nothing out here to find.”
“But you’re wrong… ” Steven muttered, looking away.
“Excuse me?!” Pearl asked, narrowing her eyes.
Steven flinched under the weight of her stare, realizing he’d accidentally crossed a line. “I-I mean-”
“No, don’t take it back, Steven,” Dipper cut him off. He met the surprised looks the Gems were sending him squarely, refusing to back down, even a little. Not this time, not when he knew how things were and he wasn’t afraid to say it. “You are wrong, and we can prove it!”
“Oh, really?!” Pearl retorted just as harshly. “And how are you going to do that? Might I remind you that nothing on Earth can use these warps but us? So how do you intend on disproving that proven fact? With that little journal of yours? Ha! Good luck with that!”
As much as he wasn’t planning on admitting it, Pearl had a point there. After spending an entire night combing through the journal, Dipper hadn’t found anything even remotely close to what he and Steven had seen yesterday. It left him with no real theories about what it could be, where it came from, why it was warping–
At least until Steven quietly offered up a compelling theory of his own. “Well…. What if… what if it was from space?”
The word ‘space’ alone was enough to send the Gems into stark, sudden silence. Amethyst nervously glanced away as Garnet’s hands curled into tight fists at her sides. Even Pearl, her eyes wide with barely-concealed alarm, was only able to say, “I… don’t appreciate your tone.”
No one had a chance to get a word in edgewise before she abruptly warped the entire group away. They arrived at the Galaxy Warp moments later; it was the only place they hadn’t checked yet, but even so, there were no clear signs of unusual activity. Which, no doubt, was exactly what the Gems wanted them to find.
“These are the warps that once connected us to other planets,” Pearl explained as she made her way over to the central warp pad. “If something tried to come from space, it would be through here. But wait! This warp pad is broken, marked inactive by the very depressed cartoon breakfast sticker you placed here yourself, Steven!”
She sharply pointed to the Wailing Waffle sticker Steven had slapped onto the warp pad weeks ago. That, paired with the countless cracks torn across its surface, all but proved her right. Nothing could have used any of the broken, useless warps here to travel to Earth from space.
But still…
“Look,” Amethyst spoke up. “Pearl’s right, as usual. Sure, it’s annoying, but you get used to it.”
“Seriously, you guys need to chill out,” Mabel added. “Dipper, it’s already bad enough that I have to deal with you getting all paranoid over almost everything , but now you’ve gone and rubbed that paranoia off on Steven to the point that you both are covered in it and neither of you are any fun anymore! It’s driving me nuts!”
“We’re not being paranoid!” Dipper stressed. “We’re being careful , which is clearly something that none of the rest of you care about, otherwise we would have already found that thing by now!”
“If there was actually anything to find,” Pearl pointed out. “Which, as we’ve just proven, there isn’t. ”
Garnet stepped in, smiling softly as she placed a gentle hand on both of the boys’ heads. “We’re safe.”
Even if they had a leg to stand on in arguing with them Gems, Steven and Dipper knew they couldn’t. Not now, not against so much irrefutable evidence. Not when they’d already made it so powerfully, painfully clear they weren’t going to hear them out, no matter what they said or did.
Unable to admit defeat, Dipper could only sigh, bitterly glaring down at the ground. Steven, on the other hand, took a step closer to the central warp. He frowned as his hand skimmed the sticker, unsure of what to truly believe, “Well…” he said softly, sadly. “I guess so…”
The Gems pounced on this response, sharing a satisfied sigh over the “battle” they’d apparently won. “Oh man, finally !” Amethyst exclaimed. “That took all day!”
“Now we can finally head home and put this whole thing behind us,” Mabel slung her arms over the boys’ shoulders, grinning. “And maybe you two can actually get a good nights’ sleep tonight instead of staying up worrying over nothing.”
Neither Steven or Dipper could say they appreciated that comment. But what the Gems had to say next only made them feel worse .
“Still,” Garnet said, her hands on her hips. “It was important to make Steven and Dipper feel secure.”
“Yes, they both feel much better now,” Pearl concluded. The condescending edge in her voice wasn’t lost on either of them in the slightest. Condescension that had only been building all day, to the point that it all quickly began to boil over until-
They simply couldn’t take it anymore.
“I’m a little tired…” Steven began, his voice low, bitter, angry . “Of you guys telling us how we should feel!”
“Seriously, you guys are treating us like we’re little kids who are just making this stuff up, but we’re not ,” Dipper insisted just as fiercely. “We’re telling you the truth!”
“We know we saw something outside the stream!” Steven exclaimed, livid.
“And I know you didn’t!” Pearl quickly shot them both down. “Both of you, listen to me. I’ve been around much longer than either of you have. I know everything there is to know about the warp system. Which is why you two don’t tell me what I already know!”
“We’re not trying to!” Steven argued. “We just want you to listen to us! You don’t care what we have to say! You never do! You just want to do it your own way!”
“Yeah! Whatever happened to ‘oh we’ll start trusting you guys more’?” Dipper asked, scoffing at the memory and how little it meant now. “If you really trusted us, then you’d actually hear us out and stop pretending like nothing’s wrong, just like you always do!”
The bickering only raged on from there. As Pearl, Steven, and Dipper continued shouting at each other, Garnet, Amethyst, and Mabel were left to stand on the sidelines and simply watch. As ugly as things were getting, none of them were too keen on getting in the middle of it anytime soon.
“Uh, this is new,” Amethyst couldn’t help but chuckle. “I kinda like it.”
“Shouldn’t we try and stop them?” Mabel asked Garnet. She shrugged, unsure of what to do herself at this point.
“Ugh,” Pearl groaned, rolling her eyes amidst the shouting match. “You two just don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, we’re the ones who don’t know what we’re talking about?” Dipper asked, offended. “Sure, I mean, it’s not like we were the ones who actually saw it or anything!”
“It sounds like… maybe you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Steven shouted at Pearl. The way his words echoed back at him across the Galaxy Warp made it more than clear there’d be no taking them back. Not that he really wanted to anyway.
Pearl went rigid when she heard this, and though she was more than ready to say more, Garnet cut in before any more furious words could go flying. “Alright,” she said, stepping between Pearl and the boys. “That’s enough.”
Steven and Dipper both tried to plead their case nonetheless.“But-”
“I said, let it go,” Garnet simply held her hand up to stop them. As sure a sign as any that they were done here, a sign that that they were going to look into this any more than they already had.
The only sign they needed to know… that they had lost.
Mabel smiled as she finished positioning the pillows on her bed in just the right way. Satisfied with her work, she hoisted Waddles into his proper place of honor in the pillow fort. “There you go, my perfect pink angel. Now we can have a nice, cozy night’s sleep, unlike some people…”
“Complain all you want, Mabel,” Dipper didn’t even bother gratifying her. Instead, he kept his focus in the exact same place it had been last night: on the journal and whatever answers it might hold for him. “But I’m not giving up until I figure out what that thing in the warp stream was!”
“Why nooooot?” Mable groaned. “You heard what the Gems said! We’re safe!”
“That may be what they think, but I’m not about to believe it until I have proof.”
“Ugh, you’re so annoying when you get all obsessy like this! Remember the last time you went all crazy trying to prove something, Dipper? ‘Cause I do! In fact, I remember it involving a bunch of gross zombies that tried to eat our brains out!”
“This is totally different!” Dipper snapped, defensive. “Look, I’ll admit that I was a little reckless when it came to the zombies, but I’m being the exact opposite about this! I’m trying to figure out the truth about this thing so we can all be safe .”
“Is that really why you’re doing this, Dipper?” Mabel asked, narrowing her eyes at him. “Or are you just trying to prove that you and Steven were right and the Gems are wrong?”
She was right, at least on some level, though Dipper would never give her the satisfaction of knowing that. Before he could keep the argument going, however, Stan popped his head into the room, already annoyed right off the bat. “You two! Can it with all the yelling already! It’s late, and I don’t wanna play referee if you munchkins get into a fist fight or something. Plus, I don’t have my camera on me to record it.”
“Grunkle Stan!” Mabel whined. “Dipper’s being dumb and he keeps stressing out over this stupid thing that him and Steven saw when we were out with the Gems yesterday!”
“Mabel!” Dipper protested, flustered. Stan, however, simply leaned against the doorframe and sent his nephew an even, almost curious glance.
“Oh yeah? What kind of thing?”
“I-it was-”
“He doesn’t know what it looks like because they only saw it for like, a second,” Mabel interrupted. “ If they saw anything at all. I’m with the Gems in thinking that they didn’t.”
“Oh, so now you’re seeing things, kid?” Stan asked, raising an eyebrow. “Figures. Reading a kooky journal like that will do it to ya.”
“Grunkle Stan, I’m not just seeing things!” Dipper argued. “What me and Steven saw in the warp stream was real, and it was-”
“Yeesh, calm down,” Stan cut in, smirking. “I was just kidding. Still, if the Gems said it was nothing, then, as much as I hate to admit it, they’re probably right. They are the authority on all of that magic mumbo-jumbo, after all.”
“See?” Mabel sent her brother a smug smirk. “Told ya so.”
“Now both of you, get to bed,” Stan ordered on his way out. “And if you two actually do end up getting in a fight, don’t expect me to come up here and break it up. Besides, we all know Mabel would win anyway so it would be pretty much pointless to try and intervene.”
“Hey!” Dipper snapped, even more embarrassed. Mabel simply let out a teasing chuckle as she tucked herself into bed alongside Waddles. Dipper was more than happy when she fell asleep; at least he’d be able to get through the rest of the night without any of her snide remarks. Instead, it’d be just like he liked it: just him, a flashlight, and a journal that he refused to stop searching until he found at least some kind of clue.
At least until he heard a soft, sudden tapping on the attic window.
Mabel didn’t even flinch, as fast asleep as she already was. Dipper, however, didn’t hesitate to get up and check it out. He quietly climbed up onto the nightstand, peering down to find an unexpected visitor standing in the yard below.
“Steven?” he whispered, surprised. Sure enough, Steven smiled up at him as he dropped his handful of pebbles, no longer needed now that he’d gotten Dipper’s attention.
Still taking care to not wake Mabel, Dipper hurried to slip his hat and jacket on, creeping downstairs and past Stan as he snoozed in front of the TV in the den. He made it out into the crisp evening undetected, meeting Steven at the start of the path leading up to the temple.
“Steven, what are you doing out here this late?” he asked, glancing back to the shack to make sure he wasn’t followed.
“I need your help,” Steven caught him off guard when he grabbed his hands and held on tight. “The Gems still won’t believe me, and I can’t stop freaking out every time I look at the warp pad, and you’re the only person I can count on with this because you saw it too and I-”
“Whoa, Steven, slow down,” Dipper interrupted. “What exactly do you need help with?”
“I-I want you to help me keep an eye on the warp pad,” Steven said, unsteadily, anxiously. “Just in case… it comes through. We still don’t know what it is, and… I really don’t want to be alone if it does show up.”
“You won’t be,” Dipper assured. He was tempted to pull his hands back, but he didn’t; instead, he met Steven’s with a small, reassuring squeeze. “If that thing does warp in, I don’t want to miss it. And besides,” he managed a smile, despite his anger, his nerves, and everything else they might be up against. “I’m still with you on this, even if no one else is.”
Steven barely stifled a sob as he threw his arms around Dipper, leaning in close to whisper a deeply grateful, “Thank you so much.”
“O-of course,” Dipper stiffened when they pulled apart, his eyes wide and his face hot for reasons he couldn’t quite place. Still, he was quick to shake it off and get back to the matter at hand. “Now come on! We better get going,” He took Steven’s wrist, already pulling him along up to the temple. “That thing could show up any minute now!”
“Any minute now” turned out to be a lot longer than either of the boys could have anticipated. The house was calm and quiet when they arrived, and so it had stayed for the past few hours as they took vigil near the warp pad. Dipper kept the journal close on hand, just in case its intel might be needed. Meanwhile, Steven tried passing the time with a midnight snack, though it really was much of one.
“You want some macaroni-and-no-cheese?” Steven asked, offering his bowl to Dipper.
“What? No,” he only briefly glanced away from the warp pad. “Why are you eating that without cheese?”
“Amethyst ate it all,” Steven frowned down at his depressing, favorless pasta. A beat of silence followed, the latest of many they’d sat through since this seemingly endless wait began. In this kind of quiet, dread and doubt easily began to creep in, or at least it started to for Steven. And the more those feelings started to settle, the harder he found it to keep silent about everything going through his head. “Ugh, Dipper, what’s the point of this?”
“The… macaroni?” Dipper asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
“No! This!” Steven threw his arm out to the warp pad. “It’s been two days since we saw that thing. If it hasn’t shown up by now, then how do we know it's gonna show up at all?”
“Oh it’ll show up,” Dipper snapped his attention back over to the warp pad, refusing to tear it away. Refusing to give up, no matter how foolish this all seemed. “It has to. And when it does, we’re gonna get the Gems and show it to them and then they’ll finally, finally realize that we were right all along!”
“But what if it doesn’t come?” Steven pressed. “What if… What if we were wrong and everyone else was right?”
“What if we were wrong?” Dipper scoffed, appalled. “Steven, you know we saw that thing just as much as I do! The Gems, Mabel, everyone thinks we’re crazy for thinking that it’s real, but we’re not! And we have to show them that we’re not!”
“I know, but this-” Steven stood, shaking his head. “Staying up all night and sitting around waiting for who knows what? This is crazy ! Let’s just face it, Dipper; nothing’s going to come through that warp pad-”
He didn’t even get a chance to finish speaking before something arrived. Nott from the warp pad in front of them… but from somewhere above .
Without warning, it slammed into the house, breaking its way through the roof before it crashed to the ground only a few feet away. On impulse, the boys froze, utterly dumbfounded by the sight of the tiny, marble-like sphere sitting before them. The sight of it alone was shocking, but they were even more surprised when it started to move . Four stumpy appendages emerged from it, detached from the orb, yet still serving as “legs” for it to walk around on. It struggled to gather its balance as the boys stared at it, completely speechless.
And then, at the exact same moment, they both began to laugh .
“Oh my gosh! This is it!” Dipper grinned, excited, as he watched the marble clumsily hobble its way towards them. “This was that thing in the warp stream! We were right !”
“No way!” Steven gasped, equally amazed as he looked up at the hole the orb had left in the ceiling. “It really did come from space! Oh man, the Gems totally are gonna freak out when they see-” He stopped short when he looked at the marble again. It continued clamoring forward, not paying either of them much mind as it made a determined beeline straight ahead, straight to- “The warp pad! I think it’s trying to get to it!”
“What? But why would it-” The marble itself ended up cutting Dipper off as it tried squeezing its way between the two of them, roughly shoving its tiny legs against them both. “Hey!”
“Whoa there, little guy,” Steven put his hands on the marble to stop it. “Hold on for just a–ow!” He yelped when the orb suddenly lashed out, slamming a metal leg hard into Steven’s side. Still, his hold on it didn’t yield as he glanced up at the temple gate just ahead. “Guys!” he shouted to the Gems, hoping they’d hear him. “Come out here and check this out!”
As distracted as he was, Steven didn’t notice what Dipper had. He didn’t see a small hatch opening on the front of the orb, with a small nozzle hidden just behind it. “Steven!” he cried, anticipating some sort of laser or projectile from it. “Look out!”
Before the marble could unleash whatever “attack” it had in store, Dipper slammed the only thing he had on hand into it–the journal. The book’s hard cover sent the marble flying to the other side of the room, now sporting a small crack over its otherwise pristine seafoam surface. A strange, pale green liquid began to pour from the crack, forming a thin stream that trailed along after it as it skittered about, disoriented.
“What do we do?! What do we do?!” Steven panicked as he jumped to his feet.
“Uh… we should…” Dipper trailed off in favor of focusing on the marble again. Especially as it began making a mad dash straight to the warp pad. “We gotta stop it! Come on!”
Steven didn’t argue as they both charged for the warp pad too. He was the first to reach it, latching onto the marble just as it climbed on. Dipper followed soon after, landing his hands firmly on top of Steven’s. In that one, short moment, the grave danger this bizarre, unknown thing could bring wasn’t lost on either of them. Especially not on Steven.
“Dipper-”
“I told you,” he cut him off with a ghost of a smile. “I’m with you, no matter what.”
Steven struggled to share that smile, especially when he noticed the warp pad lighting up underneath them. Somehow, the marble itself was activating it, intent on bringing them along on wherever it planned on going, whether they liked it or not. “W-wait!” Steven yelled, desperately looking to the temple gate. “Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl-”
He couldn’t even finish calling for help before they were on their way. The boys continued to cling onto the marble, even as it dragged them upward through the stream. “I don’t understand!” Dipper shouted, perplexed. “Where’s it trying to go?”
Steven had no answer for this question, and no time to even think of one either. He winced when something struck his back–another marble, identical to the first. And even more alarming yet, plenty more were on their way after it. “T-they’re coming from all over?!” he exclaimed, trying and failing to push them away.
Even more marbles were gathering their way into the stream by the second. They converged on the boys, roughly pushing them against each other before, slowly but surely, they started forcing them over to the edge of the stream. Though Steven and Dipper did what they could to struggle against them, it was a battle they were quickly starting to lose. But they’d only known they’d lost it entirely when the marbles made one final push against them–
And completely shoved them both out of the stream into the empty, icy depths of warp space.
None of the marbles followed them, leaving them alone to drift further and further away from the stream. And even further yet from the dozens of streams streaking through the void, each carrying countless marbles along on their journey to some unknown destination. As shocked by the sight as they were, the boys both tried to suck in a gasp–only to end up choking on air that was barely there.
“Wha—t-they’re all-” Dipper cut himself, suddenly breathless. He gripped his throat, trying to conserve the air he still had for as long as he could. Steven did much of the same, all while trying to find a way to get them both back inside the safety of the stream.
“N-no!” He grabbed Dipper by the arm, using his other arm to “swim” them back over toward the stream. “Wait!” He’d nearly made it, they nearly made it–until the stream suddenly vanished, taking all of the marbles along with it, and leaving them behind–entirely on their own.
All of the other streams were far too distant for them to make it to in time. In the bitter cold, barely breathable atmosphere all around them, they found there were few options left to escape, to save themselves, to even simply survive . Still, that didn’t mean one of them was about to give up so easily.
“S-Steven!” Dipper gasped, his chest tightening more and more by the minute. “W-we gotta find a-another-” He stopped short when he heard Steven, of all things, laughing beside him. “Steven, what-”
“W-we were right , Dipper,” Steven said with a hazy, bittersweet smile. “We w-were right… And now…” His smile faded as grief and fear overtook him, until he finally settled into a sort of sad acceptance over what was about to happen here. About the dark fate he’d dragged them both into. “W-we…. We’re gonna die… Two tired… frozen… little s-sadsacks…”
Still, even if Steven had already resigned himself to an icy, airless demise, Dipper wasn’t about to, at least not yet. “N-no! We can’t!” he cried, distraught and desperate. ““We… There… T-there has to be…” He trailed off, practically fighting to breathe by this point. Unsure of what else to do, he grabbed Steven by the shoulders and shook him, all but begging him to keep his eyes open, to stay awake, to not leave him like this. Steven only met his efforts with a weak smile as tears started filling his eyes, tears that Dipper soon found himself sharing as the crushing realization set in.
Sure enough, they’d both been right. They’d gone as far as they possibly could to prove they were right. And now… none of that even mattered. How could it, when the price they were paying for the truth they’d found was far too high?
Still, in what could only be their final moments, they held on tight to each other, the only anchor either of them still had in a sea of nothingness. As huddled and heartbroken as they were, neither of them noticed a new warp stream flashing into existence only a few feet behind them. In fact, neither of them knew it was there at all until a pair of hands grabbed onto them and pulled them back into the safety of that stream, just moments before it was too late.
Those hands continued to protect them, guiding them into a secure embrace. The boys took in sharp, desperate gasps as they vaguely realized exactly who was hugging them, who had saved them. “Stay calm,” Garnet advised. “Take slow, deep breaths.” They did exactly that, hardly noticing as she held up one of the marbles that had gotten lost in their earlier onslaught. “So this is what you both saw.”
As breathless as they still were, both boys went rigid at the sight of one of the orbs that had nearly cost them lives. Dipper could only slowly, anxiously nod. Steven, on the other hand, choked out a sharp, distraught sob. “I don’t care about that!”
“I do,” Garnet lifted a hand to her visor, wiping away what could only be hidden tears. “I should have listened to you two. We promised we would start trusting you more, but we didn’t. I’m sorry.”
Despite it all, she offered the pair a small, sincere smile, one that they couldn’t help but return. In that moment, it felt as though a weight had been taken off their shoulders, as if all of the tension of the past few days had been broken. It was a welcome change, but even so, it wasn’t enough to solve everything. The marble still resting in Garnet’s hand was proof enough of that
“Finally!” Mabel exclaimed as she, Pearl, and Amethyst caught up with them. “There you guys are! What’s with you two, going on a crazy midnight warp run like that? The least you could have done is ask me to come along too!”
“Are you both okay?!” Pearl asked the boys, worried. “Amethyst heard the warp pad activate, and Mabel had come to the house looking for Dipper, and Garnet said you were both floating outside the stream and-” She starkly cut herself off, her eyes wide as she noticed what Garnet was holding. “W-what is that?”
“You mean… you don’t know?” Steven asked, confused.
“Whoa…. That thing’s far out!” Amethyst peered at the marble, fascinated.
“I wanna touch it!” Mabel reached a hand for it, only for Garnet to pull it out of her reach.
“Not until we know for sure what it is.”
“It’s some kind of space robot!” Steven exclaimed. “There were tons of them! And it looked like they were all going to the same place.”
The Gems fell into silence as they exchanged a glance, unsure of what to make of this news. That silence was soon broken, however, as Dipper cleared his throat. “Ok, so, I know this is probably a bad time for this, but…”
“Oh boy…” Mabel rolled her eyes. “Here it comes.”
“We told you so!” Dipper exclaimed, grinning. “We were right all along and we told you so! Guess you guys will think twice about not believing us next time, huh?” His smug smile swiftly fell when he met the incredulous look all three of the Gems sent his way. “Oh, uh… l-like I said, bad time…”
Unsure of what else to do, Garnet let the marble go, letting it lead the way to its ultimate destination: the Galaxy Warp. As soon as they arrived, the marble rushed over to join the others as they gathered around the central warp, covering it completely.
“What are they doing to the Homeworld warp?” Pearl asked, unnerved.
“Dang, there’s a ton of them!” Amethyst exclaimed. The group could only stand by as the marbles suddenly shuffled away from the warp pad, revealing the peculiar liquid they had coated it in was gone. In its place was a warp that looked brand new, scrubbed clean of all of the ancient cracks and crevices that had once disabled it. “What? They fixed it?” Amethyst asked, bewildered.
“So what does that mean?” Mabel looked to the Gems for answers. Only this time…
They had none.
There was no time to come up with any either. Because suddenly, for the first time in hundreds, thousands of years, the Homeworld warp activated .
While Pearl and Amethyst froze, Garnet leaped into action. She grabbed both her team and the kids, leaping to hide just out of sight behind one of the many rocks bordering the Galaxy Warp. From this vantage point, they were well-hidden, but still able to see when the light on the Homeworld warp cleared, revealing what–or who it had brought.
Only this time, it wasn’t another marble; instead, it was a Gem .
At least, that’s what the kids suspected. The bright green gemstone on her forehead was telling enough, and so was her perfectly triangular hair. Her tall, slender form sported a simple, practical uniform, and strangely enough, her “fingers” were disjointed from the ends of her arms, though they still hovered close to it. A calm, calculated look rested on her face as she glanced around, inspecting both the Galaxy Warp and the pad she’d just come in on.
“W-who is that?” Pearl whispered nervously.
“No idea,” Garnet returned, intent on staying hidden. No matter what this strange new Gem’s intentions might be.
Fortunately, she was still unaware of their presence as she lifted her hand. Her fingers repositioned themselves to form a screen of sorts, filled with indecipherable information that her remaining finger tapped away at. “Log date 3 1 2,” she began recording a report. “This is Peridot, performing Earth hub maintenance check.”
“Peridot,” Steven repeated with a small smile as he glanced down at the others. “Her name is Peridot!”
The Gems quickly shushed him, terrified of blowing their cover. The kids, however, couldn’t help but be much more curious instead of cautious. “Maintenance check?” Dipper muttered, raising an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Warp repair was a success,” Peridot continued, briefly glancing down at the marbles surrounding her. “All 79 flask robonoids deployed and accounted for. Preparing to locate and manually reactivate Kindergar-”
She stopped short when she noticed the damaged robonoid, the very same one Steven and Dipper had first encountered, lying at her feet. It struggled to reclaim its footing as Peridot sent it a critical glance, something that wasn’t lost on Steven as he observed her from afar.
“Aw, the little ones are like her babies!” he whispered with a charmed smile.
As it turned out, that couldn’t have been any further from the truth. Annoyed with her damaged tech, Peridot apparently determined the machine’s usefulness had reached its end. She perched her foot on it, pushing down until the marble completely, violently popped to little more than broken, lifeless pieces.
“I-if that’s how she treats her babies then she really shouldn’t be allowed around them anymore!” Mabel exclaimed in a horrified whisper.
Peridot, on the other hand, was quick to move on with her task. “Now to activate the domestic warp.” She stepped off the Homeworld warp, stopping short when she caught sight of something out of the corner of her eye. She turned to claim the Crying Breakfast Friend sticker stuck to its side, staring at it suspiciously before she took another glance around the Galaxy Warp.
“This site may have been compromised…” she muttered warily. She briefly turned back to the Homeworld warp, weighing her options, before she ultimately shrugged, pocketing the sticker. “No matter. This status investigation shouldn’t take long. All I need now is to find the domestic warp to get to the Prime Kindergarten and… aha!” For the first time, she smiled when her screen detected the right warp pad, the only unbroken one among all the others. The robonoids trailed after her as she made her way over to it, with the Gems and the kids still watching her all the while.
“The Kindergarten?” Mabel asked, frowning. “What’s she gonna do there?”
“Maybe she just wants to see where Amethyst was made?” Steven suggested.
“Maybe she should mind her own business,” Amethyst scowled, crossing her arms.
Garnet and Pearl could only exchange an unsettled glance, absolutely terrified by all of the possibilities. Lost in that terror as they were, they nearly missed Peridot taking the warp in question, though not before placing a small, unknown device on it. As she warped away, the device flashed, abruptly deactivating every last robonoid in sight. Even still, the Gems and the kids didn’t emerge from hiding–even if some of them wanted to.
“We’ve gotta follow her,” Dipper said, determined. “We have to figure out what she’s doing here!”
“Yeah, and why she sent all those marble guys here,” Steven soundly agreed.
“What, are you guys nuts?” Amethyst asked, baffled.
“There is no way we are going after a dangerous Homeworld Gem,” Pearl firmly began, trying her best to hide just how frightened she truly was. “Armed with who knows what kind of weaponry and technology, on her way to the Kindergarten , of all places and-”
“Wait!” Garnet sharply cut her off. She was the first to try and stop all three of the kids as they rushed out of hiding, only to miss them by mere inches. They bounded over to the same warp Peridot had taken, but as soon as they hopped onto it, an entirely new problem emerged.
“Uh… so, how are we gonna get there without the Gems?” Mabel frowned as the Gems emerged from hiding themselves, if only to stop them from embarking on such a dangerous trip.
“Um… uh…” Steven glanced around, searching for a solution. In the end, only one idea came to mind, even if he wasn’t sure it would even work. Still, he held his arms out wide, closed his eyes, silently begged his gem to work–
And for the first time, he warped entirely on his own.
Steven gasped when he realized he was drifting through a new warp stream, with both of the twins holding on tight. He couldn’t help but let out a small, incredulous laugh when he realized exactly what he managed to do. Dipper and Mabel shared his excited smile, but there was no time for congratulations now. Instead, they fell into sharp silence the second they arrived in the dark, densely quiet canyon that was the Kindergarten. A haunting place none of them were too keen on coming back to anytime soon.
No sooner had they stepped off the warp pad than the Gems arrived, hot on their tails. Their weapons were already summoned, ready to fight Peridot off. Or at least they would have, if Peridot was anywhere in sight.
“Huh?” Amethyst lowered her whip. “Where’d she go?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Garnet stepped down to where the kids were. “We need to leave before she realizes we’re here.”
“No!” Steven backed away from her reach. The twins did the same, glancing over their shoulders as they tried to spot any signs of where Peridot might’ve gone.
Pearl shook her head disapprovingly. “Steven, you don’t understand. You may have been right about those orbs, but you need to listen to us when it comes to this. None of you know who you’re dealing with here-”
“And you guys do ?” Dipper questioned, doubtful.
“W-well, we… uh…”
“Garnet,” Steven said, resolved. “You said you were sorry you didn’t listen to us before. So why won’t you guys listen to us now ?”
Garnet had no answer for such a question. Instead, she simply put her hand up to silence Pearl and Amethyst’s protests, making it more than clear that this time, they were going to listen . “Peridot came here for a reason, right?” Dipper asked. “If she really came all the way from Homeworld, don’t you think it’d be worth our while to figure out what that reason is ? Maybe even stop it if it’s something bad?”
“And if it's not bad,” Mabel chimed in. “Then we can be her official “Welcome to Earth” committee! You think she’ll want green balloons for the party? Green seems to be her thing, so-”
“Shh,” Garnet cut her off. She nodded over in the direction of sudden movement in the distance. Sure enough, a telltale triangular shadow trekked through the dense fog covering the Kindergarten floor. Garnet directed the group onward, with the unspoken mission to follow and observe. Perhaps even intervene if the situation proved direenough for it.
Everyone stopped short, hiding behind a rock well out of Peridot’s sight. She stood by, waiting in silence until, just like all of her other robonoids, a new arrival came crashing down to Earth from distant space on her command.
Unlike all of the other marbles, however, this one was massive, even bigger than Peridot herself. She stepped out of the way, watching her machine get to work as it shot a burst of energy at a certain point in the ground. The brittle soil gave way, creating a sizable hole, perfectly shaped for the pyramid-like form the robonoid had shifted into. It lowered itself into the gap, stopping just long enough for Peridot to step onto it, before it began to carry her down into whatever awaited in the depths below.
Once the coast was clear, the kids and the Gems emerged, gathering around the hole to get a better look. “Oh, I don’t like this at all…” Pearl muttered, her eyes wide.
“So, uh… I guess we’re following her down there?” Dipper asked, suddenly uncertain about such a risky endeavor.
Garnet only nodded as she stepped onto the sharp slope leading into the darkness. The others followed her, sliding down at a steady pace. To their surprise, the path down was far from empty. Clusters of thick, dimly-lit wires coiled into the earth surrounding them. Even from a glance, it was easy to tell that nothing about this was natural–and nothing about it felt right.
“What is all this…?” Pearl whispered, shaken by the sight of it all.
“Wait, so… you guys have never seen any of this stuff before?” Dipper asked. The thought was worrying; if the Gems had no idea where they were heading, then there was no telling what they were getting themselves into here. There was no telling what they were about to find or face.
“Nah, man,” Amethyst anxiously shook her head. “This is just as new to us as it is to you guys.”
It wasn’t long before they reached the bottom of the pit, where a large, metallic chamber awaited. There was plenty of space below it for the Gems and the kids to hide, and that’s exactly where they crowded long before Peridot could spot them. From her spot in the center of the room, she continued working on even more screens, calling even more of her peculiar machines to action.
“Established manual link with control room,” Peridot said, filing another report. As she did, two massive metal hands emerged from the glowing walls, plugging their fingers into ports on the floor. “Plug Robonoid has successfully landed on planet Earth and entered the Prime Kindergarten Control Room in Facet Five. Will now proceed to perform status check of the Kindergarten.”
“Uh… what’s she doing?” Amethyst asked in a worried whisper.
“Is she trying to reactivate the Kindergarten?!” Pearl gasped, horrified by the very idea. “Doesn’t she know it’ll destroy all life on Earth?!”
“Why don’t we just ask her?” Steven asked.
“Yeah! I’m sure she’d tell us all about it if we just asked,” Mabel eagerly nodded.
“Uh huh, sure, she would,” Dipper deadpanned, rolling his eyes.
“So you agree with us,” Mabel grinned, his sarcasm completely lost on her.
“We’re not going to ask her anything,” Garnet laid down the law. “We’re facing an enemy we don’t know with technology we don’t understand. This isn’t the time to be asking questions.”
“Really sounds like it is…” Steven muttered, dissatisfied.
“Ok, here’s the plan,” Garnet turned back to her teammates. “We can’t let her see us, so we wait for an opening. When she’s distracted, we destroy the power source on the far wall. The kids stay here.”
The Gems continued strategizing, all without realizing the kids were doing the exact same. They exchanged a silent nod, knowing what they had to do. They couldn’t just resort to senseless, wordless violence like the Gems wanted to. They needed answers, they needed the truth. And right now, there was only one person–or Gem–who had either of those things. Whether she would want to share it with them or not.
By the time the Gems wrapped up their plans, the kids had already put theirs into action. They quietly climbed the wires up into the chamber, ignoring the Gems’ softly alarmed pleas for them to stop. They’d already gone against the Gems so many times tonight alone that this time, they hardly even gave their latest bout of disobedience a second thought.
Peridot still hadn’t noticed their approach, as caught up in her inspection as she still was. “Now accounting for all operational injectors,” she said, her back turned to them and her focus set on her screens. “Checking for aberrations in perimeter.” At this, the robotic hands activated another set of panels on the walls, summoning a group of cylinders from the ceiling above. “Ugh, this Gem tech is simply archaic…” Peridot sneered as she continued her work.
Steven figured this was as good a juncture as any to speak up. “I don’t know, I think it looks pretty cool.”
“Yeah,” Mabel added, smiling. “It’s all sparkly and futuristic-y. You guys really know what you’re doing with this stuff!”
Dipper could only sigh, facepalming as he realized the angle the pair were going with here. To offer a set of bright, friendly greetings to a brand new Gem who could very well turn out to be a foe. Outside of Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, the only other Gem they’d ever met was Lapis; and, based on first impressions alone, Dipper had a feeling Peridot wasn’t going to be anything like she was. A feeling that Steven and Mabel didn’t seem to share.
At the mere sound of any voice other than her own, Peridot froze up in alarm. She spun around, her eyes wide as they settled on the trio standing only a few feet before her.
“Hi!” Steven waved up at her. Mabel did the same, while Dipper only offered Peridot a cold, distrustful glare, if only to try and show he was the serious one among them. “I’m Steven, and this is Dipper and Mabel!”
Whatever shock Peridot had quickly melted away into annoyance as she focused on her screens once more. “There appears to be an infestation of ‘Stevens’, ‘Dippers’, and ‘Mabels’ in the Kindergarten,” she sullenly muttered.
“…What?” Dipper asked, confused.
“Aw, we’re not so bad once you get to know us!” Steven said with a smirk..
Peridot glared back at the trio, raising an eyebrow as she sized them up. “And how many more Stevens, Dippers, or Mabels are present in this area?”
“Oh, it's just us!” Mabel said. “Well, us and the-”
Dipper quickly cut her off by slapping a hand over her mouth. “Uh, like she said, i-it’s just us! Nobody else!” He let out a nervous laugh, only hoping that the Gems would appreciate him covering for them, and knowing that, against everything else they’d done tonight, they wouldn’t.
“Hm, well, that’s a relief,” Peridot sneered. “So tell me: have Stevens, Dippers, and Mabels replaced humans as the dominant species on Earth?’
“What?” Mabel laughed. “We are humans, silly!”
“Oh really?” Peridot asked, barely interested.
“Yeah, but there’s lots of other humans too!” Steven exclaimed. “There’s my dad, Connie, Mr. Pines, Soos, Wendy, Onion… I think. But yeah, lots of people, including us!”
“Hm…” Peridot mused, rolling her eyes. “I suppose it is impressive that your kind managed to survive this long… Even if you won’t for very much longer.”
“Whoa, hold on, what?!” Dipper interrupted, alarmed. And yet, Peridot offered no elaboration, not that Steven gave her much of a chance to.
“Now we get to ask you a question,” he said with a small, coy grin. “What are you doing?”
“Oh,” Peridot began, as apathetic as ever as she set her sights back on her screens. “Just picking up where we left off…”
Whatever this might’ve meant, they’d never know. With just a tap, Peridot called upon one of the robotic hands, bringing it to hover high above the kids’ heads. However, just as she brought it down to crush her unexpected, unwanted guests, a sturdy pair of gauntlets caught it in the nick of time.
“A Gem?!” Peridot stumbled back, frightened as Garnet tossed the hand away from the kids. “Ah!” she squeaked, backing away even further when Pearl and Amethyst joined her. “ More ?! But the Red Eye didn’t report the presence of any Gems on this planet!”
“That’s because we destroyed it!” Pearl exclaimed, holding her spear aloft.
“Y-you what?!” Peridot frantically looked at her screen. “So you were the ones who—B-but the records say that Gems were wiped out on Earth! Wait a minute… you’re the ones who destroyed that flask robonoid! Are you the reason the Homeworld warp was down in the first place?! Is this your bizarre icon?!” She pulled the Wailing Waffle sticker out, holding it away from her as if it were deadly. “Augh! Why are you trying to get in my way?!”
“Because we are the Crystal Gems!” Pearl fiercely proclaimed. “We’re still alive, and we’re still the guardians of this planet and all its living creatures!”
Peridot’s fury shifted into blank confusion as she quietly echoed, “The… Crystal Gems?”
She had no chance to ask for more information, not that the Gems would have given it anyway. Instead, they charged straight at Peridot, barely giving her enough time to program the robotic hands to defend her. They met the Gems’ first attack squarely, shielding her from their wrath, even as they brutally beat against them. “Stop!” Peridot shouted at them, furiously tapping at her screen as she struggled to keep control. “How dare you! I’m doing this one way or another! You’re just making it really difficult!”
“Uh, so I guess we won’t be needing any balloons for a welcome party, huh?” Mabel asked amidst the chaos.
“Seriously?” Dipper shot his sister a critical glance. “ That’s what you’re thinking about right now? Really?”
Between the three of them, the Gems managed to push the first hand back, slamming it brutally against the wall until its fingers fell off of it. The other hand swept in to try and stop them, only for Amethyst to coil her whip around it just in time. “Destroy!” she screamed, throwing the hand down hard. It crashed into the power source at the back of the chamber, sending the room into near total-darkness. And in this darkness, Peridot began to make her escape.
She ran straight past the kids, hopping back onto the platform she’d used to get down here. Even as it began to carry her back up, nobody was willing to slip away that easily. “Wait! Stop!” Steven cried, running after her. The Gems rushed by, only stopping long enough to grab him and the twins as they all hurried after her.
“Don’t let her get away!” Garnet ordered, leaping high after the platform. Amethyst and Pearl did the same with the kids in tow. All three of their weapons struck the bottom of the platform squarely, sending it shooting up and out of the pit. Peridot’s panicked scream was ultimately cut off as she clumsily crashed to the ground, only to find yet another one of her precious machines had been brutally destroyed.
“You dull-as-dirt deviants !” she snapped over her shoulder as she began to run. “Quit destroying my things!”
“Never!” Pearl yelled, tossing a spear her way. Peridot only narrowly ducked out of its path as she fled to the warp pad. Likewise, she evaded Amethyst’s whip and the rock Garnet threw her way as she scrambled onto the pad, warping away with the kids and the Gems right behind her.
Peridot only had seconds to spare when she arrived back at the Galaxy Warp. The Gems were upon her almost instantly, determined to catch her, to stop her, at all costs. Unfortunately, she was just one step ahead of them–literally.
She leapt onto the Homeworld warp, only turning back long enough for her to furiously shout, “I’m reporting this, you CLODS!”
And, with a flash of warping light, she was gone, on her way to where she’d come from. On her way back to Homeworld.
The Gems stopped short just shy of the pad, petrified of accidentally following on such a taboo trip. They dropped the kids as the adrenaline of the chase began to fade… and raw, unbridled fear began to set in.
“T-they’re coming back…” Pearl said, her voice trembling with years-old terror. “I can’t do this! Not again!”
“We’re dead!” Amethyst shouted, distraught. “We are so dead !”
“Did… did she really come from Homeworld?” Steven asked, eyeing the warp pad. None of the Gems bothered answering, and none of them needed to. The answer was already more than obvious.
“She said she was ‘picking up where they left off’...” Dipper echoed. Mabel hung close by him, every bit as anxious as he was after everything they’d seen and heard. After the overwhelming discovery none of them could have ever expected to make. “What could that mean? What was she trying to do?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Garnet cut in. Her expression was heavy and dark as she approached the Homeworld warp, her gauntlets already raised. They grew even larger as she held them high over the warp pad. And then, in a heavy, powerful swing, she crushed it, severing their ties with Homeworld all over again. Even though she knew it was only temporary now, even though they knew they couldn’t stop them forever. Even though all three of the Gems knew just how much trouble they were all truly in. “She’s not coming back!”
Notes:
Next time... let's take a trip... into the bunker...
Chapter 24: Into the Bunker
Summary:
A journey to the author's hidden underground bunker reveals some unsettlng secrets, while forcing Amethyst to confront her insecurities.
Notes:
So let me set the stage for this one for a second before we dive in. Its kind of tied to what I said a few chapters ago, about how I kind of took the element of Dipper having a crush on Wendy completely out of new UF? As a result, this chapter had to have some drastic changes made to it, but I dunno, I kind of really like the direction I took it in. Has some nice character development for Amethyst while letting us still see Wendy getting in on the action too. With that outta the way, let's venture underground to confront one certain shapeshifter...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
ZPDSIF KMJI AZLOIC XZL OWHYEV
BNISDK AJVVVLZ WXPD IM KHYEV
QUHX EHSJ LYIW FOJ EDDIDL OEGD
HDA LV BJEP SWAWTIF MZNXRU SUD USW
“Sniffling Croissant!” Steven grinned at the results of the Crying Breakfast Friends personality quiz he’d just finished. “You really know me, internet.” He looked up from his phone, to where Pearl and Stan were hard at work helping Greg fix his van. “Hey, guys!”
Greg glanced back, wiping the sweat from his brow–while unknowingly smearing oil across his forehead in the process. “Yeah, Steven?”
“You should all take this online quiz I found,” Steven held up his phone so they could see. “It tells you what character you are from Crying Breakfast Friends !”
“Crying Breakfast-” Stan cut himself off, completely confused. “Kid, what the heck are you talking about?”
“Oh, it’s a great cartoon with a huge cast of really interesting, relatable characters!” Steven explained, smiling. “And every single one of them is a result you can get in this quiz! Like I said, you should totally take it!”
“Uh… why?” Pearl asked.
“It’s just fun to see yourself as a cartoon character,” Steven shrugged, looking back at his phone. “Like Weeping Egg Cup, who’s neurotic and uptight, or Pining Grapefruit, the sensitive older one who wishes he were a better role model, or Forlorn Pancake, who’s ill-tempered but has a hidden heart of gold.”
The adults exchanged a glance that was somewhere between bewildered and annoyed, before Greg finally said, “Uh, maybe we can do that after we fix the van.”
“Or better yet, never,” Stan muttered as he got back to work.
“Aw, ok,” Steven sighed. He wasn’t disappointed for long, however, before Amethyst broke him out of it.
“Yo, Steven!” she called, standing alongside Garnet at the start of the trail leading into the woods near the temple. “You ready to go?”
“Oh yeah! I almost forgot!” Steven jumped to his feet, shoving his phone into his pocket.
“Are you three going off on that ‘mystery hunt’ you mentioned earlier?” Pearl asked him.
“Yep!” Steven nodded. “We’re going to meet Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy in the woods right now. Aren’t you coming, Pearl?”
“Oh, well, I-” Pearl stopped short when something inside of the van’s hood burst, sending out a plume of dark smoke into the air and a thick spray of oil over Stan and Greg. “I… think I’m needed here more,” Pearl shook her head. “But make sure you don't do anything too reckless. And make sure Amethyst knows that goes double for her.”
From her spot at the bottom of the hill, Amethyst stuck her tongue out at Pearl. Steven, on the other hand, was more than happy to comply with a dutiful salute. “Don’t worry, Pearl. I’ll make sure everyone stays safe and has a ton of fun with this great quiz!”
While Pearl saw her team off with a smile, it soon faded as she turned her attention back to the troublesome van. “Do either of you understand that cartoon show?” she asked Stan and Greg.
“I don’t really understand anything anymore,” Greg admitted.
“Ditto,” Stan sullenly agreed.
Meanwhile, once Steven joined Garnet and Amethyst at the base of the hill, the group was off. As they ventured into the woods, Amethyst helped herself to the messy sandwich she’d brought for the trail. “So where’s this ‘super mysterious’ place Dipper wants us to check out again?” she asked, her mouth half-full.
“On the other side of the temple hill,” Garnet replied, keeping her focus on the path ahead. “He said it's in the very same place where he found the journal. So this mission will hopefully give us some answers that are a long time coming, which means I expect you both to take it seriously.”
“Don’t worry, G,” Amethyst smirked. She didn’t bother to wipe away the mess her sandwich had left all over her face. “You know me. I’m as serious as they come.”
“Same here!” Steven agreed. “Oh! Speaking of serious stuff, you guys gotta take this online quiz: ‘Which Crying Breakfast Friend Are You’?”
“I’ll pass,” Garnet said.
“Yeah, same,” Amethyst cringed. “That show’s really weird. Who wants to watch a cartoon about people crying?”
“I do!” Steven protested, tears already in his eyes.
“Ok, ok!” Amethyst quickly recanted. “Uh, what’s the first question?”
Steven perked up as he started the quiz over again to read the questions aloud. “Do you ever act without thinking?”
“Nope.” Amethyst tilted her head back, throwing the remainder of her sandwich into her wide-open mouth.
“Are you afraid of taking risks and trying new things?”
“ Terrified ,” Amethyst deadpanned as she backflipped over a fallen log.
“Amethyst, are you taking this seriously?” Steven asked, frowning.
“Of course, I am,” Amethyst rolled her eyes when Steven wasn’t looking.
“Are you insecure about your relationships and how you are perceived by other people?”
It was an oddly intense question, one that caught Amethyst off guard. She stole a glance over at Garnet, who offered no answers for a question that wasn’t meant for her in the first place. “Er… no?” Amethyst frowned. “Yes? Uh, what’s the right answer?”
“There is no right answer,” Steven said. “You’re just supposed to answer honestly.”
Amethyst considered the question for another beat or two before ultimately shrugging the entire quiz off altogether. “Eh, I’m bored,” she said, making a point of pressing on ahead to catch up with Garnet.
“Wait!” Steven called as he ran after her. “I still have loads more probing personal questions to ask you!”
“They’ll have to wait till later,” Garnet spoke up as they came to a stop. “We’re here.”
“Hi, guys!” Mabel warmly greeted the trio. She stood alongside Soos and Wendy in the shade of a tall tree, one that strangely stood alone in the center of a sizable clearing. Dipper wasn’t far, pacing near the tree as he leafed through the journal, only stopping when he noticed Steven and the Gems had arrived.
“There you guys are!” he said, relieved. “I’m glad you could make it. Thank you all for coming.”
“Hey, when there’s a mystery, you can count on your sister-ey!” Mabel exclaimed, winking.
“That’s an amazing rhyme,” Soos chuckled as he tried his own. “When you want some… some good… When you need a Soos, you… Oh, gosh, I got nothing,” he admitted as Wendy snorted out a laugh.
“This is so exciting!” Steven exclaimed. “What mystery are we gonna solve this time? Why fairies are so small and sparkly? Or how gnomes celebrate President’s Day?”
“Neither,” Dipper shook his head. “We’re here to solve the number one mystery in Gravity Falls: who wrote this journal?” He held said journal up, flipping to the torn pastedown that would have otherwise revealed its writer’s identity. “Thirty years ago, the author vanished without a trace, but according to this new clue, I may have found his secret hiding place.” After flipping to another page, Dipper pulled a portable blacklight up, shining on a drawing of the very same tree standing before them. The blacklight revealed yet another secret, a winding staircase wrapped around the tree, leading the way to a hidden underground chamber.
“Wait, so you’re saying this author guy has been squatting right underneath our temple for the past 30 years?” Amethyst raised an eyebrow, doubtful. “All without us knowing about it? That seems kinda, I dunno, impossible ?”
“We don’t know who the author is,” Garnet countered. “But he somehow knew a lot about us. For all we know, he could have gotten that information by observing us right behind our backs.”
“Literally!” Steven joked.
“I don’t know…” Dipper frowned as he looked back down at the journal. “Based on how the author wrote about you guys, it still doesn’t seem like he got all this info just from spying on you… But that’s what we’re here to find out. We find that author, we learn the answers to everything. We just need to figure out a way to get down there…”
“Tch, is that all?” Amethyst stepped forward. “Try giving me a real challenge here.” The others watched as she approached the tree. She didn’t bother scoping the situation out first before going in with sheer brute force. She slammed straight into the tree, hoping to plow her way into some sort of entrance, only to end up bouncing off its audibly metallic surface. Ultimately, she landed at Garnet’s feet, blushing when the other Gem stared down at her wordlessly, expectantly. “Uh… lemme give that another go,” she let out an awkward laugh as she brushed the dirt off of herself. “I’ll wear it down eventually if I keep on-”
“Hey, guys,” Wendy cut in as she peered up the length of the tree. “Is it just me or does that branch kinda look like a lever?”
“Huh, yeah,” Dipper agreed, referring back to the journal. “But how do we get up there…?”
“Heh,” Amethyst grinned, as she summoned her whip. “Looks like I’m comin’ to the rescue again.” She pulled her arm back, ready to redeem herself after her earlier embarrassment, until she looked up–
And found somebody was already beating her to it.
In no time at all, Wendy had skillfully scaled the tree, easily reaching the lever before she pulled her ax out of her belt. With a flick of her wrist, she hit the lever with the dull end of the weapon with a satisfied “Boosh!”
“Whoa! Wendy, dude, that was awesome!” Soos exclaimed, awestruck. Almost all of the others echoed his sentiment, equally impressed by just how masterfully Wendy had tackled this obstacle.
Even so, she took the praise in stride. “Oh yeah, my dad used to make me compete in these lumberjack games when I was a kid,” she shrugged. “Guess I kinda ruled at it.”
“Whatever,” Amethyst grumbled, mostly to herself. “I could’ve done that too, without even having to leave the ground.”
Fortunately, no one heard her over the sound of the tree suddenly rumbling. Wendy only barely made it back to the ground surrounding the tree when it began to open up. She jumped away from the emerging hole, joining the others as they crowded around it to see what awaited them below. Just as the journal depicted, a staircase led into the darkened depths of the earth, where untold secrets were no doubt buried.
“Uh… G?” Amethyst spoke up, unnerved. “Am I the only one of us who’s thinking this looks sort of…”
“Familiar…” Garnet finished. “No, you’re not.”
“Wait, have you guys been here before?” Steven asked.
“I don’t… think so…” Amethyst frowned, bewildered.
“Still, it feels like we have…” Garnet shook her head. She sighed when her future vision failed to offer her any answers; how could it, when the answers she was searching for were so deeply rooted in the past? “It’s… hard to explain…”
“Well maybe going down there and checking it out will help jog your memory!” Mabel encouraged.
The pair of Gems exchanged a glance. Neither of them were sure what they might find down there. But as long as there was a chance that they could finally find the truth, they had no choice but to take the plunge. And, as usual, Amethyst was the first one to do it. “Well, what are we waiting for?” she asked, grinning mischievously as she began bounding down the staircase. “Let’s crash this joint! Come on, you guys!”
“Alright, this is it,” Dipper said, steeling his own resolve before he followed. “Remember: what happens down there, we tell no one.”
The others all agreed and, with that, they were off. Though Amethyst haphazardly led the way, everyone else scaled the stairs much more cautiously, finding a sturdy metal door at the bottom of them. Luckily, it was unlocked, albeit rusty from going unused for so long. As it creaked open, no one really knew what to expect. And what they found was just about the last thing any of them could have anticipated.
A dark chamber had been carved out of the earth, its walls reinforced with metal to protect the supplies stocked within them. A small cot sat on one side, a cabinet meant to store weapons on the other alongside shelves piled with boxes, each labeled with a different year. Dust and cobwebs clung to nearly every surface, a further testament to a space that, by all accounts, seemed to be completely abandoned. For quite some time at that.
“Ok, this is stupidly cool,” Wendy grinned as they all stepped inside to investigate.
“I know, right?” Steven said, stars in his eyes. “Who knew all this stuff was hiding right behind the temple?”
“Hm…” Garnet looked around, her lips pressed in a thin line. She skimmed a hand on the calendar hanging from the wall, permanently set to 1982. Try as she might to remember anything unusual that could’ve happened to her and the Gems that year, she ultimately couldn’t. She certainly couldn’t remember standing in this very chamber 30 years ago–or ever, for that matter.
So then why did it still feel as though she’d been here before?
“So, uh… what is this place anyway?” Wendy asked as she wedged the door open. After all, the last thing any of them wanted was to end up getting trapped down here.
“It’s like a fallout shelter or something,” Dipper said, scribbling his own notes about it into the journal for good measure. “It must have belonged to the author. It looks like he was preparing for some kind of disaster.” He paused, trying to imagine the mysterious author himself standing in this very room. Only to stop short when he took another look at the massive stock of supplies said author had apparently amassed. “But… what kind of disaster would need supplies for over sixty years…?”
“Yeesh, sucks to be him if he lived in this dusty old box,” Amethyst said. “Still, at least there’s plenty of good cans lying around to snack on.” She snagged an empty one of the ground, easily downing it whole. It helped, a little, to settle the pit in her stomach that had been forming ever since they’d stepped foot down here.
“Oh my gosh!” Soos gasped as he opened up the weapons locker and pulled anything but a weapon out. “A Smez dispenser! I remember these things. What’s that?” He held the dog-shaped dispenser up to his ear.“Why yes, I will have some of your old-timey face food!” He pushed a piece of candy out of the dispenser and ate it, only to end up choking on its staleness. “Ew, dusty!” he cringed, before popping another one into his mouth.
“Ha! Look, Steven!” Amethyst grabbed a gas mask hanging on the wall before she playfully put it on. “I’m a pachyderm!” Steven laughed, though he stopped short, alarmed, when Amethyst pulled a skull–albeit a fake one–out of the mask. “Oh! And there’s a prize inside!”
“Amethyst,” Garnet spoke up. “I thought you said you were going to take this mission seriously.”
“Hey, I am being serious,” Amethyst quickly tossed the gas mask aside. “Just figured I’d liven this grimy old place up a little is all.” She offered the other Gem a hopeful grin. Garnet, on the other hand, shut her down with sullen silence as she moved on. Amethyst only barely managed to stifle a sigh as she did; if she’d failed to impress Garnet before, she certainly wasn’t making any headway on that front now.
“Wait, guys!” Dipper got everyone’s attention as he picked up one of the countless cans discarded on the floor. One that still happened to have a bit of food still inside. “I think this can was opened recently…”
“The author still might be alive down here, then!” Soos exclaimed.
“Wait a minute…” Wendy ran a hand over the far wall, where a large map of Gravity Falls hung. It took a moment to notice, but sure enough, it was rattling against an unseen breeze. Or rather, against the air leaking in from the hatch behind it when Wendy pulled it aside. “I think I know where he might’ve gone…” she smirked as the others gathered around the entryway.
“Here’s the plan,” Garnet firmly began. “We’ll follow this tunnel to wherever it leads. But since this is unknown territory we’re in, Amethyst and I will take the lead and the rest of you follow behind us.”
It was as safe a plan as any, which was why no one found any room to argue with it. Garnet went in first, crawling through the tight tunnel as it led even deeper into the darkness. Amethyst squeezed in after her, followed by everyone else in a single-file line.
“Oh Garnet,” Steven smiled. “Stern but practical. Just like Spilled Milk.”
“Ugh, you’re not still on about that dumb cartoon, are you?” Amethyst asked, annoyed.
“Oh right, the quiz!” Steven pulled out his phone, struggling to hold it as he shimmied through the tunnel.
“Oh my gosh, you don’t mean the Crying Breakfast Friends personality quiz, do you?!” Mabel cut in, excited. “I just took that this morning. I got Sad Pear, just like I knew I would!”
“Whoa, Sad Pear is totally you, Mabel!” Steven agreed. “I got Sniffling Croissant, and now I’m trying to see which character Amethyst is. So, next question: Do you get defensive when people ask you questions about the feelings you prefer to keep hidden?”
Amethyst tensed, only for a beat, before she shot a harsh glance back at him and hissed, “Don’t get all psyc-o-logical on me, Ste-ven.”
Steven flinched, surprised. “Um… sorry?” he frowned, unsure of what nerve, if any, he may have struck.
“Everyone, watch your step,” Garnet interrupted as she reached the end of the tunnel. The group emerged in yet another chamber, with walls, floor, and ceiling all made up of metal tiles with strange, cryptic symbols. Though the purpose of such a room was beyond any of them, they still took a moment to scope it out, if only because of how otherworldly it all seemed.
“Wow! And I thought that the first room was cool!” Steven exclaimed, glancing around with wide eyes. “This one’s even more mysterious!”
“I know, right?” Wendy agreed, smirking. “Was this place built in the past or the future?”
“I dunno, dudes…” Soos muttered, worried. “This room is way creepy…”
“Meh, I’ve seen creepier,” Amethyst said, leaning against one of the blocks sticking out of the wall. She yelped, however, when the tile on it suddenly sank in under the pressure she was putting against it. The room shuddered as the other tiles all turned a sharp, warning shade of red. To make matters worse, the door they’d come through swiftly slammed shut, leaving them all trapped as the tiles all began to slowly inch forward, designed to crush any unfortunate intruders caught between them.
“Amethyst!” Garnet snapped, shooting her an accusing glare.
“What?! I didn’t do anything!” Amethyst defensively shot back.
There was no time to argue, not with the walls pushing in on all sides and time steadily ticking away. “W-we’ve gotta get out of here!” Steven cried as he crowded in close to Dipper and Mabel.
“Way ahead of you, Ste-man!” Amethyst leapt into action. While the others tried holding the tiles at bay, she went high, using the shifting blocks to give herself a boost toward the ceiling. She shoved her hands and feet against two of them, pushing hard to try and keep them separated. Below, Garnet had summoned her gauntlets to do the exact same thing.
“Yo, G!” Amethyst called down to her. “Check this–huh?” She stopped short as she glanced up at the glowing tile right above her head. The symbol etched onto it seemed far too familiar for comfort, to the point that she couldn’t resist the urge to reach up and touch it. Her eyes lit up as she pressed down on the tile–on the switch , watching as it shifted from red to blue. “Hey, guys!” she yelled down to the group below. “Look what I-”
Even if Amethyst failed to get everyone’s attention before, she certainly did when she let out a sharp, sudden cry. They all looked up just in time to see the tiles pincer her body far too tightly. Though she tried to shapeshift her way out of the trap, it was ultimately too little too late. As two of the tiles pushed together, Amethyst’s stomach was brutally crushed between them. With one final shout, her body disappeared in a puff of purple smoke, leaving nothing but her gemstone behind.
It was a sickening sight, one that only got even more frightening when Amethyst’s gem began to fall through the air. Steven managed to catch it just before it could strike the ground, and he held it close to his heart to protect it from any further harm. Not that his efforts would matter for much longer; if they couldn’t find a way out of here soon, they’d end up just like Amethyst–or worse.
“Amethyst was onto something,” Garnet cut through the rising panic filling the room. She nodded up to where Amethyst had been, catching sight of the switch she’d activated mere moments before her “demise”.
“Wait, she was!” Dipper exclaimed. He held the black light over a page in the journal describing this very room. Hidden text revealed a set of glowing marks, no doubt the only key out of this death trap. “There are five more of these symbols. Quick! Everybody find one!”
While Garnet worked to hold the tiles back, the others split up as much as they could. It didn’t take long for Soos to spot the first tile, slamming his first down on it as he called out, “One!”
“Two!” Wendy jumped up to give another switch a hearty punch.
“Three!” Steven scaled another block to reach the next one.
“Four!” Mabel called, high fiving another tile.
Dipper froze, frantically looking around for the only remaining symbol. He ran for it as soon as he spotted it, climbing up the blocks leading to it and hitting it just before another tile could cover it completely. “Five!’
With all six switches activated, a door revealed itself on the far side of the room. It gave the group a window of escape, though not much of one as more tiles continued converging to block their way. “Run for it!” Mabel shouted. Garnet abandoned her post as she leapt through the opening first. The others followed soon after her, with Steven making it out last, still clinging desperately onto Amethyst’s gem. They escaped not a second too soon, as the last of the tiles finally slammed into each other. It was a miracle that they’d managed to make it out in time, that no one had been caught in the crushing crosshairs; no one other than-
“Amethyst!” Steven wailed. Tears were in his eyes as he placed her gemstone on the floor in front of him so everyone could see.
“W-what happened to her?” Mabel asked, her eyes wide with alarm.
“Is… is she like… gone?” Soos asked, worried.
“No,” Garnet calmly assured.
“But Amethyst got crushed to-” Dipper cut himself off. “Well, I guess being crushed to death wasn’t exactly what happened to her, but…”
“Whatever did happen to her wasn’t pretty…” Wendy shook her head as she eyed Amethyst’s gemstone. “I mean, how could she have actually survived something like that?”
“A Gem’s body is a construct of light,” Garnet explained. “Our physical forms are illusions. And sometimes, when we’re badly damaged, we’re forced to release those physical forms and retreat into our gemstones to regenerate.”
“So… she’ll be ok, then?” Mabel asked, hopeful.
“She’ll be just fine,” Garnet smiled. “This sort of thing happens to Amethyst all the time, believe me.”
“It happened to Pearl too, a few months ago,” Steven sniffled. “A-and it took her two whole weeks to come back, and I already miss Amethyst so much!”
“Don’t worry,” Garnet rested a hand on his shoulder. “She’ll be back before you know it.”
As if on cue, Amethyst’s gemstone abruptly began to glow. “Literally…” Garnet’s smile faded as she watched it rise into the air. A bright silhouette surrounded the stone, shifting several times before it settled on a familiar form.
Or at least, a mostly familiar form.
Once the light faded, Amethyst landed on the ground, disoriented, but otherwise, entirely uninjured. She barely had time to gather her bearings before Steven was upon her, wrapping her in a tight, relieved hug. “Amethyst’s back! Amethyst’s back!”
“Ugh…” Amethyst groaned, pushing him away. As she did, she noticed something off about her hands–more specifically, that they weren’t exactly hands anymore. “Huh?”
“Uh, Amethyst?” Dipper spoke up, perplexed. “What happened to your… arms?”
“I think you mean legs ,” Mabel corrected. Because sure enough, in her latest regeneration, Amethyst’s arms had been replaced with a second set of legs.
“Looks like you grew a few feet since the last time I saw you!” Steven joked. While his humor was largely lost on Amethyst, that didn’t mean someone else didn’t get a good laugh out of it.
“Nice one, dude!” Soos chuckled. “Oh, I got one! Hey, Amethyst, can you lend me a foot? Get it?! C-cause you have-”
“Yeah, Soos, I get it,” Amethyst deadpanned.
“That was fast,” Garnet said, frowning down at her. “Even for you.”
Amethyst pushed herself to her feet (her usual feet), stifling a blush as she clumsily brushed her bangs out of her face. “Eh, it’s no big deal,” she shrugged, flipping to stand on her new set of hands. “I didn’t wanna keep my biggest fan waiting!”
Steven laughed, at least until Amethyst set one of her feet on top of his head. He rolled his eyes, still grinning, as he shoved her off, not noticing the stern, disapproving frown Garnet was wearing behind him.
“Let’s just keep moving,” she concluded as they continued on through the next chamber. Amethyst huffed an aggravated sigh as Garnet passed her by; her hasty regeneration was a hit with just about everyone. Everyone but Garnet, clearly. Just like almost everything else she did, it seemed.
“Hm, looks like this door is jammed…” Dipper frowned as he tried and failed to pull the door ahead open. “A little help here?” he asked the Gems.
Amethyst strode forward first with a confident grin. “No prob, dude. I’m totally down for lending a hand.”
“Shame you don’t have any to spare,” Garnet deadpanned, crossing her arms. Amethyst winced when she glanced down at her “foot-hands”, realizing she wasn’t in much of a position to help after all. Still, that didn’t mean someone else couldn’t rise to the occasion instead.
“Mind if I take a crack at it?” Wendy asked, pulling her ax out.
Garnet nodded, stepping aside. “Go ahead.”
Wendy paused before the door, sizing the situation up before, with one swift, heavy swing, she wedged her ax squarely into the almost microscopic space between the door and its frame. After perching a foot on the nearby wall, she threw her weight against the ax handle, shouting as she struggled against metal and stone. And then, with one final, heavy shove, she pried the door wide open, revealing the way ahead.
“Whoa, Wendy, that was amazing!” Dipper exclaimed, awestruck.
“Yeah!” Steven agreed, stars in his eyes. “You’re super strong!”
“Eh, actually, strength doesn’t really have a whole lot to do with it,” Wendy smirked as she slung her ax over her shoulder. “It’s all about hitting the log–or door , I guess, in this case–at just the right angle at just the right time. At least, that’s what my dad always told me back when he taught me how to use this thing.”
“It’s a solid strategy,” Garnet patted her on the shoulder as she passed her by. “Well done, Wendy.”
While Wendy accepted this kudos with a humble nod, Amethyst was taken aback. Garnet’s praise was hard to come by; if anyone knew that, it was Amethyst, for how much she vied for it. But now, not only had she failed to get even a hint of her leader’s coveted approval; now, someone else–someone who wasn’t even a Crystal Gem–was getting that approval instead. Approval that Amethyst knew should have been hers ; and she was determined to make it hers. She had to be stronger, better, smarter. She had to show Garnet she was a worthy member of the team.
Above all else, she had to show everyone, even herself, that she wasn’t just the joke they all thought she was.
“Whoa, look at this crazy surveillance room,” Mabel said, fascinated by the next chamber. The group emerged into an observation deck, with a wall lined with monitors and control panels. A few of the screens still glowed with a live feed of somewhere else in the bunker, though exactly where, no one knew.
“Check it out, dudes!” Soos held a pair of glass beakers up to his eyes.
“Soos, Soos,” Wendy said, breaking into a grin. “That is hilarious.”
“This is so weird…” Dipper said, looking between the journal and the surveillance monitors. “We’re already so far in, but there’s still no sign of the author. I thought for sure he’d be hiding down here somewhere, but…” He sighed, tucking the journal back into his vest. “I don’t know. Maybe I was wrong.”
“Aw, don’t give up, Dipper,” Steven encouraged, resting a hand on his shoulder. “The author could still be down here; we’ve just gotta keep looking! Like… Oh! I know!” He ran over to what appeared to be nothing more than a metal closet. “Like in here, for instance!” With an eager grin, Steven pulled the closet open, only to find it disappointingly empty. “Huh,” he frowned as Dipper came to stand alongside him, rolling his eyes. “You know, I really thought he’d be in there…”
“I dunno, you guys,” Wendy joined the pair. “Is it just me or is there something sorta… off about this closet?”
“Hm…” Dipper stepped inside of the closet, giving its back wall an experimental knock. “Whoa, you’re right! I think there’s something on the other side of it.”
Amethyst saw the chance emerging here, and she didn’t hesitate to take it. The last thing she wanted was for yet another opportunity to prove herself to suddenly slip away from her. “Well, what are we waiting for?” She entered the closet, slamming her hands, or feet, rather, hard into the sheet of metal. She repeated this process over and over again, wailing away to the point that she didn’t hear Garnet issue her a timely warning.
“Amethyst,” she began, taking a step forward. “Wait-”
Whatever she was going to say was left unheard as Amethyst broke through the back of the closet, revealing the earthen opening behind it. “All right!” she cheered as she ran into the gap. She stopped just long enough to urge Dipper and Steven to follow her. “Come on, you two! Do you wanna find that author guy or not?”
The boys exchanged a wary glance, but in the end, they ventured further into the darkness. Wendy wasn’t far behind them, her hand already resting on the handle of her ax, just in case. “Well?” Amethyst shouted to Garnet, Mabel, and Soos. “You guys coming or not?”
While Soos and Mabel were more than ready to follow, Garnet put up a hand to stop them. “Get back up here, all of you. Now ,” she advised, her voice suddenly rigid.
“Aw, what? Why?” Amethyst scoffed, annoyed. “You told me to take this mission seriously, so now I am! What’s more serious than taking charge and, like, ‘venturing off into the unknown’, or whatever?” To prove her point, she turned her back on Garnet, crossing her leg-arms as she pressed on ahead.
“Amethyst, you don’t understand,” Garnet said, her hands in tight fists. “There’s a-”
Amethyst suddenly stopped short, though not because of Garnet’s warning. Her foot sank into the ground, onto the stone-turned switch she’d accidentally stepped on. The second it was activated, another slab of metal slammed down from above, sealing the closet shut again and cutting the two groups off from each other.
“Oh no!” Steven cried, beating against the door.
On the other side, Garnet did the exact same thing, albeit with her gauntlets. Unlike the door Amethyst had kicked down, this new one was much sturdier and much thicker by far. As a result, the most Garnet was able to do was put a sizable dent in it. Not that a dent would do much to help anyone trapped on the other side.
“We’ll have to find another way in,” Garnet let out a disgruntled huff. “And fast.”
“Uh, why fast?” Mabel asked, suddenly worried.
“Because they’re not alone in there,” Garnet shifted her shades as she relayed the frightening intel her future vision had just revealed. “There’s a monster on the loose.”
“Welp, that’s that,” Amethyst shrugged only seconds after the door came down. “Guess we’ll just have to find another way outta here.” With that, she turned and began to head further into whatever the next part of the bunker might hold.
“Uh, Amethyst?” Wendy began, glancing back at the door. “Are you sure that’s such a good idea?”
“Tch, ‘course, I am!” Amethyst said, holding her head high. She shot a smug smirk back over her shoulder at Wendy. “What, you’re not scared are you?”
“I’m not,” Wendy coolly assured. “But these two?” She nodded over at Steven and Dipper, grinning. “They seem sorta skeeved out to me.”
“W-what?! No way!” Dipper protested, flustered.
“Yeah! We’re super brave!” Steven agreed. He quickly undermined himself, however, yelping in fear when a sudden noise echoed somewhere deeper in the cavern. “Uh… w-what was that?”
Dipper pulled the flashlight he’d brought along out of his vest, switching it on to shine some light on the situation. This new chamber was by far the most specious yet, built between high, cavernous walls dotted with deep burrows of all shapes and sizes. Pipes, tubes, and monitors all connected the main features of this room: a series of empty glass pods, all damaged to various degrees. The sparse lighting overhead flickered ominously as the group ventured further inside to get a better look, all while silently dreading what they might find here.
Still, despite that dread, Dipper still found plenty of room to be fascinated by it all just the same. “Whoa, a hidden lab!” he exclaimed. “Maybe the author did experiments down here.”
“Hm,” Wendy frowned at the hole-strewn walls. “What do you think dug all these tunnels?”
“I don’t think I want to find out,” Steven muttered. He barely stifled a gasp, clinging tightly onto Dipper’s arm when a deep, sinister growl echoed through the shadows of the lab. A growl that only seemed to be getting closer with each passing second.
“Don’t worry, guys, whatever this thing is, I’ve totally got it covered,” Amethyst assured. She tried summoning her whip, only for her lack of hands to leave it slipping out of her gem before it landed uselessly on the ground. “...Oh, right.”
“Run?” Wendy stiffly whispered.
“Run!” Dipper exclaimed in rising panic.
While Steven, Dipper, and Wendy didn’t hesitate, Amethyst did as she stole another glance down at the whip at her feet. Only now did she realize how pathetic her new form truly was; how was she supposed to get anything done if she couldn’t even use her own weapon? While it wasn’t a permanent solution, she quickly shapeshifted her hands back into actual hands to claim her whip before taking off after the others.
With few other options available, they took to one of the larger tunnels carved into the base of the walls. They could only hope these passageways were interconnected, or better yet, led them back to Garnet, Mabel, and Soos somehow. Those hopes were all too quickly dashed, however, when they ran straight into a dead end. All with some unknown, ravenous creature still hot on their tails.
“Stay back!” Amethyst warned as they watched some haunting, unknown shadow draw near. While Steven and Dipper did as she said, Wendy still stepped forward, tightly clutching her ax. Amethyst started when she glanced over at her, on the verge of telling her that she didn’t want or need her help–
But in the end, none of that even mattered when someone else jumped in to their rescue instead.
The group froze, stunned as they watched the shadow of a man pounce on the unseen monster. He fiercely tackled the beast, undaunted by its size and ferocity. With just a few heavy punches, he beat the monster into submission, finally wrangling it under control.
“Back, you heinous beast!” the man yelled as he ripped something away from the creature. The beast howled before it ultimately exploded into a puff of smoke. From that smoke, the man emerged, finally allowing the others to see him clearly. His goggles, lab coat and gloves gave him the air of a scientist, and while he was a bit on in years, he still stood firm in the aftermath of the battle he’d just won. “Well, I just pulled out a monster’s tongue,” he announced, throwing it to the ground.
At first, no one knew quite what to make of this mysterious newcomer. That is, until Dipper remembered exactly why they’d come all the way down here, and exactly who this man had to be. “I-it’s you!” he exclaimed, shocked.
“Uh, who?” Steven whispered to him, confused.
Dipper was more than eager to explain, though the man cut in before he got the chance. “Hurry now,” he urged the others to follow him back through the tunnels. “I scared it off, but it’ll regenerate. These Gem monsters always do.”
Amethyst raised an eyebrow at that. Not only did this strange man know what Gem monsters were, but he managed to defeat one, entirely on his own? How could that be? Unless…
“I wasn’t expecting guests,” the man interrupted her train of thought as he turned back to the group. “I’ve been down here for a very long time. Years! Weeks, maybe. I miss orange juice.”
“Y-you don’t understand,” Dipper spoke up, overwhelmed. “You’re the guy I’ve been looking for!”
“He’s the guy?” Wendy asked, surprised.
“He’s totally the guy!”
“The guy?” the man cut in, confused.
“Oh my gosh!” Steven gasped, finally getting it. “You’re the author of the journal, aren’t you!?”
The man took pause, only for a moment, before he broke into a wide, proud grin. “Why, yes. Yes I am,” he confidently confirmed. “Always a pleasure to meet fans of my prolific work.”
“I’ve got like, a billion questions!” Dipper exclaimed, scarcely able to contain his excitement. How could he, when the one who held the answers to all of those questions was standing right in front of him? “Why did you write the journals? Who was after you? Why did you build this bunker? Wait,” he stopped short, turning to Amethyst before looking back to the author. “You knew the Gems, right? Do you recognize Amethyst? Amethyst, do you recognize him?”
The author’s smile fell, only slightly, when he set his sights on Amethyst. Despite the sharp, suspicious look she was sending his way, he simply let out a bold, reassuring laugh. “Well, of course, I do! How could I not recognize one of the Crystal Gems, my dearest friends? Certainly, you still remember me, even after all this time… don’t you, my dear?”
For what seemed like ages, Amethyst didn’t say a word. She only continued staring at the author, unsure of what to say, what to do. In the end, she finally settled on some sort of strategy; she could only hope it was the right one. “Oooooh, yeah! Totally! Author dude!” she exclaimed, throwing on a wide, believable smile. “Almost didn’t recognize you. Glad to see you’re not, uh, dead or anything.”
The author’s own smile widened as he gave her a small, satisfied nod. And yet, the second his gaze was off of her, Amethyst’s grin swiftly fell back into a cold, distrustful glare. Still, she figured she’d stay the course as best as she could; no need to tip him off so soon, not when she still needed to get a better read on exactly what was going on here. On exactly who this alleged author actually was.
“I’m afraid you’ve all shown up at a rather bad time,” the author said, leading the way back into the lab. “One of my experiments broke out of its cage. It’s a shapeshifter, able to flawlessly take the form of anyone or anything it sees!”
“Oh, hey! That sounds just like you, Amethyst!” Steven exclaimed.
“Uh huh,” Amethyst absently nodded, narrowing her eyes at the author.
“I’ve gone half crazy trying to catch the creature alone,” the author continued. “But now you’re here!” With a sincere smile, the author knelt down to Dipper’s level, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “My boy, will you help me catch it?”
Dipper could only gasp, beside himself with excitement. Meeting the author was one thing, but working together with him to solve a mystery? It was more than he could have ever hoped for. He readily nodded, as did Steven, both of them more than happy to help the author in any way they could.
“Very well then! Let’s get started! Come in! Come in!” the author beckoned the group into another tunnel. This one seemed to hold some sort of unkempt living space, no doubt the author’s. “I apologize for the state of things. I don’t get many non-mole people visitors. Now, the beast must have some kind of weakness we can exploit. I just wish I had my research on me! But alas, I lost my journals so many years ago…”
“Did you say journals?” Wendy sent Dipper a knowing grin.
“Dude, I found one of them!” Dipper quickly pulled the journal out and presented it to the author. “That’s how we tracked you down here!”
“What? Could it be?” the author asked, eagerly taking the journal to get a better look. “My boy, I can’t express my gratitude! Oh yes… after all these years!” He turned away to properly inspect the book, grinning greedily as he leafed through every page, poured over every entry, absorbed every detail.
Almost as if he hadn’t written every word of it himself after all.
As Garnet continued searching for a way past the door barricading them from the others, Soos and Mabel were left with little to do. Other than wait and root through the drawers in the surveillance room for anything interesting.
“Hey, do I look smarter with this coat and briefcase?” Soos asked as he slipped the tight-fitting coat on and held up an old metal briefcase. “I feel like I look smarter…”
“Oh yeah, you totally look 110% more genius-y, Soos!” Mabel sent him a supportive thumbs up.
“Yes!”
“Both of you,” Garnet suddenly cut in from her spot at the control panel. “Come over here and take a look at this.”
“What’s up, Garnet?” Mabel asked as she and Soos joined her. “Oh, is it those neat tube-y things?” She pointed to the glass tubes on one of the working monitors. It didn’t take her long to find the button connected to them, one that read “Cryogenic Activation”. “Whoa!” Mabel exclaimed when she pressed the button, which froze the interior of the tube in an instant. Excited, she hit the button over and over again, happily proclaiming, “Frozen! Unfrozen! Frozen! Unfrozen!” each time she did.
“That’s not what I meant,” Garnet gently moved Mabel’s hand away from the button. “I was talking about that.” She nodded to a note taped to the far side of the control panel. Soos grabbed it and read it aloud.
“Experiment number 210: the shapeshifter. Warning: extremely dangerous! Do not engage!
“A shapeshifter?” Mabel echoed, frowning. “You don’t think that’s the monster you said was on the loose, do you, Garnet?”
“I’m almost certain of it,” Garnet grimly nodded. “We can’t wait any longer than we already have. We need to get in there now .”
“Uh, but how are we-” Soos stopped short as Garnet held up a hand, calling for silence. Without warning, she ripped one of the monitors clean off the walls, perching it against the metal door. She rubbed her fingers together, creating an eclectic spark that she transferred to the broken wires jutting out from the back of the monitor. As soon as she was done, she leapt back, throwing her arms out wide to shield Soos and Mabel from the resulting explosion. One that was just powerful enough to blast a wide hole straight through the door.
“Dude,” Soos muttered, eyes wide. “That was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“If the author really is down here, don’t you think he’ll be mad about us breaking his stuff like that?” Mabel asked.
“I don’t care,” Garnet bluntly admitted.
As they ventured into the lab, they found it in a state of relative calm; no sign of the shapeshifter, but no sign of any of the others either. Not that they could see much in such thick, looming shadows. “Oh man, it's so dark!” Soos said. “How will we ever find them?”
“Leave that to Mabel!” Mabel proudly pressed the light bulb on her sweater, which actually functioned as a literal light.
“Whoa, that’s so rad!” Soos exclaimed, impressed. “Although isn’t electric clothing kinda like a fire hazard?”
“No, it’s a fun hazard,” Mabel corrected. “Now let me light the way!”
“We’re coming for you, dudes!” Soos called in the hopes that the others might somehow hear him.
“And for that shapeshifter too…” Garnet added under her breath. With such a dangerous threat lurking through these caves, there was no room for mistakes or missteps. There was no room for poor judgement or blind action.
There was no room for all of the things Garnet desperately hoped Amethyst wasn’t doing.
The author continued reacquainting himself with his work, and the others gave him space and time to do just that. Certainly, he’d have a plan to deal with that shapeshifter soon, and in the meantime, the most they could do was wait. Or in Amethyst’s case, watch him as closely as she possibly could.
“Isn’t this amazing?” Dipper whispered, beaming. “I still can’t believe we’re actually meeting the real author!”
“Yeah, he’s soooo cool!” Steven agreed. “And it’s even cooler that you recognized him, Amethyst! Just wait until Garnet and Pearl see him again–they’ll be so excited!”
“Steven, I’m gonna be totally honest with you,” Amethyst dropped her voice even lower. She kept her sights on the author all the while as she admitted the truth, “I’ve never seen that guy before. I have no idea who he is.”
“What?” Dipper, Steven, and Wendy all asked in equally confused unison.
“Then… why’d you act like you did?” Wendy asked, raising an eyebrow.
“‘Cause he’s like… super weird,” Amethyst said. “Something’s seriously off about that guy. I don’t know what it is, but he just gives me the creeps. I feel like there’s something he’s not telling us–something big .”
“Like what?” Dipper asked, wary. He couldn’t act like he agreed with Amethyst on this; the author largely seemed like he was on the up and up to him. The very picture of everything he ever imagined he’d be. And yet…
Amethyst barely had time to open her mouth to answer before the author suddenly cut in. “Oh! Did you all hear that?”
Steven poised a hand to his ear to listen, only to shake his head. “I don’t hear any-”
“It must be that Gem monster from earlier!” the author interrupted. He tucked the journal away into his coat as he dashed off into the nearest tunnel. “Come, everyone! We ought to subdue it first before we even think about finding that shapeshifter.”
No one had much room to argue. After all, if there really was a rogue Gem monster down here, then it needed to be taken out just as much as this mysterious shapeshifter did. With their weapons in hand, Amethyst and Wendy followed first, with Dipper and Steven not far behind. While the author had slipped out of sight, it didn’t take them long to run into the monster–and a familiar one at that.
“Whoa!” Steven narrowly hopped out of the path of one of the beast’s slithering tendrils. “That thing looks just like that slinker monster that was in the temple a few weeks ago.”
“Heh, easy pickings then,” Amethyst smirked as she lashed her whip out. She caught the creature across its bulb-like body, yanking hard in the hopes of poofing it. Strangely though, its form didn’t yield. Instead, it let out a sharp screech, its body somehow narrowing as it slipped out of her whip’s hold. “Huh?” Amethyst pulled her weapon back, confused. She didn’t get much of a chance to try again, however, when Wendy ran past her, charging straight for the monster.
Her ax was already raised as she launched herself off of one of the narrow walls, slicing one of the creature’s tendrils clean off as she blazed by it. It tried to catch her, only for her to slide straight out of its reach, landing safely on the other side.
“Woo!” Dipper cheered her on from the sidelines.
Steven was quick to join in and do the same. “Go Wendy!”
“Augh!” Amethyst yelled, thoroughly annoyed. “So she can pull off a few fancy moves? So what? Who cares ?! You guys wanna see something actually cool? Check this out!”
After calling upon a second whip, Amethyst rushed for the monster. She leapt high, or at least as high as the low cavern ceiling would allow, before flying straight at the creature. Both of her whips cracked down at it, but the monster saw them, and her, coming. While one of her whips landed its strike, the other was sent flying right back at her. Amethyst swerved out of its path, but in doing so, she failed to notice the monster’s tendril surging for her until it was too late. It wrapped around her midsection, all but squeezing the life out of her until, in almost no time at all, her form gave way all over again.
“No!” Steven cried, frightened. He tried to run forward to catch her gemstone, only for Dipper to hold him back, lest he meet the same fate. Fortunately, Wendy rushed back into the fray at just the right time.
She sliced through another one of the monster’s arms, distracting it long enough for her to slide in and catch Amethyst’s gem before it could fall into the creature’s open maw. She passed it over to Steven before she pushed both boys back through the tunnel, determined to get them all to safety. “Hey, author dude!” she yelled over her shoulder. “A little help, maybe?!”
Fortunately, only the sound of the monster’s struggling screams followed them. They could hear the author taking it on in the distance, but with Amethyst down for the count, none of them were too keen on helping him. They headed into a different tunnel instead, only stopping when they thought they were finally safe enough to catch their breaths.
“Aw, Amethyst…” Steven pouted down at the gemstone in his palms. “I can’t believe she got poofed again .”
“Well, hey, look on the bright side, Steven,” Dipper put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll be back soon. And who knows? Maybe she can use this as a chance to fix that whole, uh, ‘foot-hand’ thing.”
“Y-yeah,” Steven smiled at the thought. “And maybe she’ll-”
He cut himself off when Amethyst’s gem began to glow again. It was surprising, how sudden her next regeneration was–even quicker than her last. And, as the light faded and her new form fully took shape, far more peculiar than the last too.
“Aw, yeah!” Amethyst flipped her hair as she steadied herself. With her new telltale hat and flannel top, it was clear to see who she bore a striking resemblance too. Regardless of how strange that resemblance truly was. “This is much better. What do you guys think?” Her smile sharpened as she met Wendy’s baffled gaze in particular. “Don’t I look totally Wendy -ful?”
There was no denying it now; in her new form, Amethyst looked almost exactly like Wendy. While the boys were left speechless by such an odd choice, Wendy was the one to actually voice what all three of them were thinking. “Uh… Amethyst, I’m not gonna lie. This is kind of weird.”
“What’s weird about it?” Amethyst asked, smirking as she sauntered over to her. “You’re just so cool and capable . Why wouldn’t I want to be less like me , and more like you ?”
Wendy winced as Amethyst made a point of brushing past her, still looking far too close to her for comfort. Fortunately, she wasn’t alone in finding this whole thing creepily uncanny. “Amethyst, are you ok?” Dipper asked, unsure of how else to phrase the question.
“Of course, I’m ok!” Amethyst snapped as she spun around. “I’m always ok! W-why wouldn’t I be?!”
“You’re acting like you’re not…” Steven pointed out, genuinely concerned.
“Ugh, whatever ,” Amethyst sneered, turning her back on them. “You guys don’t know what you’re talking about.”
A strained sort of silence filled the air after this, only broken when the author’s voice rang out through the nearby tunnel. “Ah! There you are!” he exclaimed as he rounded the nearest corner. “That was quite a scrap. What a shame your poor friend was taken down so brutally by that-” He stopped short, his eyes widening when he spotted Amethyst. At first, it seemed as though he was taken aback by her new form, until his surprise shifted into a frustrated scowl. “H-how did you return so quickly? I thought for sure you were done for when I-” He sharply cut himself off, realizing his slip-up as he took a staggering step back. “Er… I-I mean, when the monster- ”
“No, I think you mean you, ” Amethyst corrected. She fixed the so-called author with a fierce glare, not bothering to hide her suspicions this time. Not when all pretenses appeared to be rapidly falling apart. “Got something you wanna tell us, ‘Mr. Author’?”
With his ruse ruined, the “author” started to show his true colors. He let out an inhuman hiss as his neck began to unnaturally lengthen. “Why don’t I show you instead?” he growled, his voice drastically deeper. The others could only watch, alarmed, as he dropped to all fours, seamlessly climbing up the nearby wall–and taking the journal with him. By the time the creature reached the cave’s ceiling, its true, frightening form was finally clear. Disproportionate, wiry limbs, slick, slimy skin, wide, vacant eyes, and a round maw rimmed with vicious fangs. Sure enough, the shapeshifter the “author” had told them about was real–
And they were looking right at it.
“How do you like my true form?” it asked from its perch on the ceiling, clearly reveling in the disgusted shock on the faces of its prey. “Go on, admit it! You like it!”
“You!” Dipper exclaimed. He tried his best to keep his voice from shaking, to hide the fear that was very much there. “What did you do to the real author?!”
“You’ll likely never find out,” the shapeshifter coldly taunted. “That six-fingered nerd hasn’t been himself in thirty years! But I thank you for bringing me his journal. He used to write it while I was in my cage. So many wonderful forms to take!” The creature laughed as it began to flip through the journal, eagerly transforming into several of the entries within it. From a gnome, to a centipeetle, to the slinker, it replicated them all with fluid, perfect accuracy, if only to show just how skillful its shifting was. And to show just how much of a threat it could truly be.
Even so, not everyone was impressed or intimidated by it. “Oh, what, you think you’re the only one who can shapeshift around here, buddy?” Amethyst smirked as she ran through the exact same round of forms in rapid succession. “Why don’t you try tussling with someone a little more on your level?”
“I gladly would,” the shapeshifter jeered. “If anyone even close actually existed. But for now, I suppose I’ll just have to settle for you .”
Amethyst bristled at that cutting comment, quickly calling upon a whip before shouting over her shoulder at the others. “Get outta here! I’ll deal with this chump!”
“B-but the journal!” Dipper protested. “That thing still has it!”
“Ugh, here!” Amethyst lashed her whip out. She managed to catch the shapeshifter off guard when it coiled around the journal, and she easily managed to yank it out of its grip. It landed on the ground just behind Amethyst, and Dipper didn’t hesitate to reclaim it. “There! Happy now?” Amethyst huffed, aggravated. “Get going already!”
“Y-you got it!” Steven grabbed Dipper by the arm, following after Wendy as she led the way down the tunnel. Amethyst steadied herself once they were gone, determined to stop this creature. To prove she didn’t need to be bailed out or held back. To show she could stand strong all on her own.
The shapeshifter dropped back down to the ground, shuffling through several monstrous forms, each more gruesome and deadly than the last. Even so, Amethyst stood fast and firm; alone as she was, she had no choice but to now. “You should have let them stay,” it mocked, twistedly eager for the fight ahead. “After all, the more the merrier to watch me grind that gem of yours back into the dirt it came out of!”
There was no telling how long Amethyst would be able to hold the shapeshifter off for. With that in mind, Dipper, Steven, and Wendy hurried through the winding tunnels the creature had carved out, searching for some kind of escape. In the end though, they found something–or someone –else instead.
Both groups practically ran into each other as they each turned a corner. Garnet stopped just short enough, but Mabel and Soos crashed right into the boys and Wendy. After a brief moment of confusion, relief spread through the group, though even that was ultimately short-lived, given the circumstances. “Wait!” Dipper cautioned, eyeing the others warily. “How do we know they’re not the shapeshifter?”
“Whoa, maybe I am!” Soos gasped. “Mabel, inspect my shape!” He lifted his shirt, allowing Mabel to playfully poke his stomach. “Do that again!” He laughed when she gave him a second poke. “Even better the second time!”
“It’s definitely them,” Dipper dryly concluded.
“You guys, what happened?” Mabel asked. “And where’s Amethyst?”
“We got attacked by the shapeshifter,” Wendy quickly explained. “He broke out of his cage, pretended to be the author, and he wants Dipper’s journal.”
“Amethyst stayed back to fight him, but…” Steven frowned as he looked back, where Amethyst and that monster were no doubt still duking it out. “I’m worried about her, going up against that thing all on her own.”
Garnet frowned, not surprised, but not happy to hear this either. “We need to subdue that creature, at all costs. If we don’t, then there could be dire consequences.”
“Imagine if it escapes into town!” Dipper said, anxious. “It can transform into anything! We could never trust anyone ever again!”
“Well,” Wendy began. Her expression was heavy with firm resolve as she gripped her ax, more than ready to use it. “That thing took us into his home, tricked us, and tried to destroy us. I say we return the favor.”
“No,” Garnet said, catching everyone off guard.
“Huh?” A chorus of confusion echoed from the others.
“Like Dipper said, we can’t let the shapeshifter escape from this bunker,” Garnet elaborated. “I’m leaving it up to all of you to make sure that it doesn’t. I’ll go help Amethyst take it down. In the meantime, you all need to stick together. The last thing we need is that creature tricking any of us again.”
It was a good plan, one that everyone more or less agreed with. Without much further delay, they split up, leaving Garnet to track Amethyst and the shapeshifter down. It didn’t take her long to begin hearing cold, cruel laughter echoing through the tunnels, followed by the sound of a brutal impact. Clearly, whatever battle Amethyst had waged, she was losing it.
“You know, I really do remember you Gems,” the shapeshifter taunted. It took the form of a swift, snakelike monster, ready to catch Amethyst between its deadly fangs. “You’re the little loudmouthed one who always thought your meager shapeshifting could outdo mine. It must really burn you up that even all these years later, I’m still far more superior at it than you’ll ever be.”
“That’s some pretty big talk for something that looks like a gross, oversized milk sack,” Amethyst harshly retorted. She rolled out of the way of the shapeshifter’s strike, transforming into a mighty gorilla. With her added strength, she grabbed the shapeshifter’s tail, slamming it hard into the side of the tunnel before she turned into a bird to fly deeper into the tunnels. Not only did she hope to put some distance between the shapeshifter and the others, she hoped to find a bit more of an open space for this fight to unfold. Unfortunately, she didn’t get very far before her plan abruptly fell to pieces the second she crossed paths with Garnet.
Amethyst practically fell out of the air, reverting to her usual form. Or rather, her new form, still resembling Wendy. Garnet paused, taking in the sight of her before she offered up her honest verdict on it. “Amethyst,” she said sternly. “This is not a good choice for your form.”
Amethyst pulled herself up, meeting her leader’s judgemental gaze with a bitter scowl. “Lighten up, Garnet. Can’t you take a joke?”
“It’s not funny,” Garnet coldly countered. “You made yourself ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous?!” Amethyst scoffed, offended.
“Keep your voice down,” Garnet hissed, glancing around. “The shapeshifter-”
“What do you care?! My form is my business!”
“It’s my business when it affects the strength of the team!”
“So what?!” Amethyst spat, furious. “Are you saying I’m not strong enough? Are you saying I’m weak ?!”
“She may not have, but I certainly would…”
Amethyst barely had time to gasp when a massive, clawed hand grabbed her from behind. The shapeshifter threw her to the ground, keeping her pinned there. It partially reverted to its true form as it glanced up to find Garnet, her gauntlets already summoned to fend it off.
“Well, well, well…” the creature began, somewhere between excitement and anger. “After all these years… finally, you Gems come crawling back down here… Oh, but it seems that we’re two short. Tell me, where’s that tall, skinny one? Or better yet, that meddling Rose Quartz? What I wouldn’t give to rip her to shreds for helping him trap me down here in this subterranean hell all those years ago!”
Garnet and Amethyst exchanged a glance at this, equally confused. “Uh, what are you talking about, dude?” Amethyst asked, still struggling to escape.
“You mean you don’t remember?!” the shapeshifter asked, bewildered. “How could you not!? You were both there! All four of you Gems played a hand in what happened here over thirty years ago!”
“We didn’t, as far as we remember,” Garnet said, baring her fists. “But if we really did have a hand in stopping you all those years ago, then we’ll gladly do it again.”
“Ha! So you think…” The shapeshifter pulled back, stretching its legs to rise high over them both. “But whether you fools remember me from before or not, I’ll make sure you do this time when I shatter you both and get that journal once and for all!”
With a fearsome roar, the creature transformed into a monster with a wide, toothy maw meant to devour them both. Garnet easily leapt out of its path, not that the shapeshifter got very far before Amethyst’s whip latched around its mouth, clamping it shut.
“You can just sit this one out, G!” Amethyst yanked her whip back, dragging the shapeshifter towards her. “I got this one covered.”
“Amethyst, you’re not going to-” Garnet only had time to duck when Amethyst was thrown back at her. She landed back in the lab, struggling to pick herself back up before the shapeshifter was upon her again. She didn’t let it get the better of her this time as she sized her fists up, punching the creature back into the wall. It managed to push her back by taking on the form of a grotesque, goblin-like monster, using its sharp horns to repel her. Amethyst stumbled back, unable to even think of another attack before the shapeshifter filled its mouth with knife-like teeth, which it gladly used to chomp down on her exposed arm.
“Amethyst!” Garnet called when she heard her pained cry. While she was more than ready to rush to her rescue, Amethyst wasn’t about to let her. She wasn’t about to let Garnet think she was even more of a failure than she clearly already did.
“I said stay out of this !” she screamed, using her free arm to lash her whip out at one of the broken cryogenic tubes. With a labored shout, Amethyst hurled it over at Garnet, if only to block her from intervening. To keep her out of the fight Amethyst had started and was determined to finish, alone .
“You’re awfully determined to die even sooner, aren’t you?” the shapeshifter laughed as it drew its clawed hand close to Amethyst’s exposed gem. “Well, if that’s what you want, then I’ll be more than happy to help you along!”
“Shut up!” Amethyst pushed the creature’s hand away just in time to shapeshift into a kangaroo so she could kick it back. She didn’t let up from there, turning into a large bull as she charged at the creature, horns poised to attack. The shapeshifter countered by morphing into an even larger, several-armed monster. It caught her squarely by the horns and brutally tossed her into a nearby storage shed. She emerged from the wreckage, back in her original form, battered and beaten. Even so, she shakily stood, clutching her injured arm as she summoned another whip, watching worriedly as the shapeshifter slunk back over to her.
“Persistent little thing, aren’t you?” it jeered in its true form as it stood tall and intimidating over her. “No matter. I know something that’ll get you to stay down. Or should I say, someone …?”
Amethyst’s eyes widened, terror overtaking her as the shapeshifter took on another new form. Unlike all of the others, this one wasn’t anything close to a monster. Instead, this form was every bit as beautiful as it was bittersweet. A shadow that still hung so heavy over Amethyst even after all this time.
“R-Rose…”Amethyst choked. Her whip vanished as she stepped back, shaken by the shapeshifter’s imitation. It was scarily spot on, complete with Rose’s curly pink locks, to her spotless white gown, to her soft, gentle features. And yet, where there always used to be a kind smile, only a sinister smirk hung as the shapeshifter seamlessly stole her voice on top of everything else about her.
“What’s wrong, Amethyst?” it asked, its tone deceptively, sickeningly sweet. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”
Amethyst drew in a sharp breath, still backing up as Rose–as the shapeshifter– only continued to press closer. “I… You… you’re not-” she stammered, unsure of what to say, what to think, what to do.
“Oh, come now,” the shapeshifter cloyingly cooed. It held a hand out to Amethyst, while conspicuously keeping its other behind its back. “I’m not going to hurt you… And I know you would never hurt me, right, Amethyst?”
By now, Garnet had managed to break through the obstacle holding her back. Even so, she froze as soon as she saw “Rose”, every bit as taken aback as Amethyst was. Until she noticed exactly what the shapeshifter was doing with its hidden hand.
“Look at you, so small and innocent…” the creature finally reached Amethyst, placing a gentle hand under her chin. “You’re missing something, something more than just memories… But what is it?” It paused, mulling over its own question for a moment, before its pink lips curled into a sadistic smile. “Oh. I know.”
Before Amethyst even realized what was happening, the shapeshifter’s elongated arm swiftly constrained her entire body, lifting her up as it started to strangle her. “You’re missing her ,” the creature whispered, its voice shifting back into its own. Tears had only just started filling Amethyst’s eyes, but they never had a chance to fall. Because in one quick, devastating pull, it sliced her head clean from her body, sending her back into her gem for the third time today.
“Amethyst!” Garnet leapt into action. Startled, the shapeshifter spun around to face her, morphing back into its true form as it lunged at her with a feral hiss. Garnet cleanly vaulted over it, far more interested in claiming and protecting Amethyst’s fallen gemstone instead. She tucked the stone under her arm, still ignoring the furious shapeshifter as she ran right past it. Her future vision gave her all of the insight she needed to know that the others had a plan. One that would hopefully put a stop to this madness once and for all.
Steven and the twins heaved a sigh of relief as Garnet rushed into the tunnel they’d been hiding in with Soos and Wendy. Still, with the shapeshifter chasing after her, that relief was short-lived, especially when they realized Garnet had returned alone.
“A-Amethyst?” Steven wondered, worried. Garnet simply sighed as she placed her gemstone into Steven’s hands. As distressing of a sight as it was to see again, this time, no tears came along with it. “Is it weird I’m getting numb to this?”
“It’s coming,” Wendy reported as she peered out of the tunnel. “Is everybody ready?”
The others nodded, all on board with the plan. The kids and Soos had scavenged what they could from the lab–busted metal pipes, broken test tubes, and more–fashioning them into weapons to use against the shapeshifter. Together, they hoped to force it into one of the still-functioning cryogenic chambers. Once they did, the threat it posed would be taken care of with just the push of a button.
It was a plan that would be far easier said than done. Especially when it ended up botched before it could even get off the ground.
Whatever cover they could have used to get the drop on the shapeshifter was suddenly broken when Amethyst’s gemstone began to glow at the worst possible time. Steven tried to stifle the light, only for the gem to hover out of his reach just as the shapeshifter arrived. It eagerly made its move, charging at Amethyst while she was still trying to settle into a solid form. Her emerging body was sent careening down another tunnel as the shapeshifter swiftly reeled back on the others.
“Hand over that journal, boy!” it demanded as it lunged for Dipper. It didn’t get far before Wendy’s ax slammed into its side just in time.
“Split up!” she shouted. With few other options left, that’s exactly what everyone did, taking to different tunnels in the hopes of confusing the shapeshifter. Certainly, it couldn’t go after them all… right?
Steven and Garnet both chose the tunnel Amethyst had been knocked into, hoping against hope that she was alright. At first, there was no sign of her–until a large, unwieldy shadow rose up against the cavern wall. Garnet gripped Steven’s shoulder, a gauntlet summoned just in case it was the shapeshifter. Only for Amethyst to lumber into view instead.
“Okay, you know I wasn’t feeling this at first…” she grinned as she awkwardly stumbled toward the pair. Her latest form was, simply put, a mess. One of her arms and one of her legs were much larger and more muscular than the others, her hair wild and unkempt and her expression strained. Though it looked like every step was a struggle for her like this, she still struck a pose as she came to stand before her teammates, apparently proud of her mismatched new form. “But I think I might be coming around! Yo, Steven! My seams straight?”
Steven clung onto Garnet’s leg, wincing as he worriedly sized Amethyst up. “Does that new form… hurt you?”
Amethyst jolted, surprised. “N-no,” she scoffed, forcing another grin. “Hey Garnet, how’d you like to mix it up with this !?” She laughed, flexing her new muscles. “Just a little something I put together, ya know.”
“This form isn’t sustainable, Amethyst,” Garnet admonished, her voice low. After all, the shapeshifter could be just about anywhere now; the last thing they needed was to draw attention to themselves. Not that stealth seemed to matter much to Amethyst.
“B-but…” Amethyst blushed, quickly reaching her boiling point. “You’re the one who said I needed to be stronger!” She threw her massive fist down in a fit of rage; Garnet only narrowly managed to shield Steven from the resulting shower of rubble. “You know what?! Fine! I’ll take that dumb old shapeshifter out myself! Then maybe you’ll finally see that I’m just as good as you or anybody else!”
Before anyone could try to talk her down, Amethyst stormed off, punching everything in her path in her furious search for the creature. “Amethyst, wait!” Steven called after her. But before he could try to follow, Garnet stopped him short.
“Listen,” she advised, nodding back to the tunnel behind them. The sounds of a struggle echoed from nearby, with the shapeshifter’s fearsome growls and hisses rising above it all.
“The plan!” Steven exclaimed, quickly reclaiming the metal panel he’d found earlier. “We’ve gotta help the others.”
Garnet agreed, wasting no time in grabbing Steven and taking off. There’d be time to worry about Amethyst later, but for now, they made their way back to the main lab to find an intense scuffle was already underway. Armed with only their makeshift weapons, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy did what they could to push the shapeshifter toward the cryogenic tube. Not that the creature was making it very easy for them as it constantly fluxed between forms, each more dangerous than the last.
“Whoa!” Soos ducked out of the way of a clawed swing just in time. “Dudes, this would actually be kind of rad if we weren’t, you know, fighting for our lives and junk.”
“Eh, it’ll be cool when we look back on it later,” Mabel shrugged as she slammed her pipe into the shapeshifter’s knee. “Just like all of the other life-threatening stuff we do.”
“You weak single-formed humans can’t keep me contained down here any longer!” the shapeshifter snapped between switching forms. “Once I slaughter you lot, I’ll take that journal up to the surface and burn it alongside your precious author the moment I find him!”
“Like we’d ever let that happen!” Dipper retorted, determined to protect the journal–and all of the heavy secrets it held–from falling into the wrong hands.
Still, the shapeshifter was relentless. It maneuvered around Soos and Mabel, shifting its hand into a long, curved blade. It swung it fast and hard, intent on prying the journal out of Dipper’s arms. And if it managed to slice one or both of those arms off in the process, so be it.
Fortunately, that blade only struck a solid sheet of metal instead. Steven had leapt in with this makeshift shield just in time to protect Dipper; it wasn’t the same as his actual shield, but it served its purpose just as well. Garnet came in right after, slamming her fist hard into the shapeshifter’s already injured side. Wendy followed up just as skillfully as she struck the creature’s head with the broad side of her ax, disorienting it. It was just the opening everyone needed to give the shapeshifter a shove in the right direction–straight to the open cryogenic chamber behind it.
“Quick! Push him in!” Dipper shouted over the monster’s snarling and screeching. Sure enough, all it would really take was one more push to get the shapeshifter into the tube, and yet-
“Not so fast, you shifty creep!” Amethyst yelled as she suddenly dropped down from above. The others could on watch, startled, as she used her thicker arm to secure the shapeshifter into a tight, unyielding headlock. “Ha! Not so much fun being all tied up, is it?”
“Amethyst, what are you doing!?” Dipper asked, alarmed.
“Oh, you know,” Amethyst grunted, struggling to hold a smile. “Just handling your monster problem for ya! After all, the only shape shifter we need around here is me !”
“Amethyst, let it go!” Garnet ordered. “Now!”
“No!” Amethyst grappled with the shapeshifter as it began to overpower her and pull her down. “You wanted me to be stronger and I’m doing it! I’m being what you want!”
“I don’t want this!” Garnet argued earnestly, anxiously.
Amethyst shouted as she tried to shove the shifter towards the cryogenic chamber, only to be shoved that way herself. “Then what do you want?!” she asked Garnet, desperate. “Just tell me and I’ll do that!”
“I can’t tell you, Amethyst!” Garnet tensed as she watched the shapeshifter slam Amethyst to the ground, hard . “You have to figure this out for yourself!”
“She can’t!” Steven gasped as he realized exactly why Amethyst had been acting so strangely all day. Exactly why she’d been struggling so much ever since they first stepped foot underground. Perhaps even long before that. “She doesn’t want to think about herself!”
Amethyst froze, completely shocked as she looked straight at Steven. And in that moment, she knew–he was right . Not that she had much of a chance to admit it.
Before anyone could say another word, the shapeshifter slammed its full weight down on her. Amethyst didn’t make a single sound as her form caved under the pressure of it, of everything . She didn’t so much as make a single sound she vanished once more, leaving only her gemstone behind for the shapeshifter to eagerly claim.
“What a weak, pathetic fool ,” it laughed as it held the stone up for everyone to see. Its grip on it tightened as it formed claws, threatening to scratch, crack, and shatter the very core of Amethyst’s being. “You all are, for thinking you could ever defeat a master of forms like me! Now, prepare to meet your-”
The shapeshifter cut itself off with a sharp scream as the edge of Wendy’s ax landed squarely in its gut. Amethyst’s gemstone went flying out of its hands as it stumbled back, dripping blood. Fortunately, Steven was quick to catch the stone for the third (hopefully last) time today.
“Good catch,” Garnet told him before rallying the others, “Now’s the time!”
No one gave the shapeshifter another chance to strike back. Instead, they all barreled into the monster together until they finally pushed it into the cryogenic tube. While it tried to fight its way out, Garnet made sure it couldn’t escape as she slammed the door shut on it. In the shuffle, Soos and Mabel had returned to the surveillance room, where they made sure to push the button to activate the chamber once the shapeshifter was secured in it.
“Frozen!” Mabel cheered as frost began to coat the window of the tube.
“Boosh!” Soos fist-bumped her as they returned to the lab to join the others.
As soon as the shapeshifter realized what was happening, it did everything it could to try and escape its frozen fate. “No! Let me out!” it cried, desperately beating against the glass. All the while, it morphed between several scattered forms, from a rock monster, to a flame beast, to its ‘author’ disguise, to even Rose Quartz. In the end though, it settled back into its true form as the glass coldly misted over, covering the creature and silencing its screams.
Silence slowly settled back into the lab in the seconds that followed, tense and tremulous. For a moment, all anyone could do was stare at the cryogenic chamber, fearing the shapeshifter might somehow break out of it. To their relief, it never did. “Is… is it over?” Steven was the first to softly speak.
“It would seem so,” Garnet said, finally letting her gauntlets disappear.
“Let’s get out of here, dudes,” Soos concluded, already turning to head back the way they came. The others all moved to follow, more than eager to leave such an unsettling place behind, until–
They heard the shapeshifter’s low, wicked laughter echoing behind them.
Surprised, everyone spun around to see the creature was still stirring. It pressed against the glass, ice encroaching on its limbs as it used its final seconds to taunt its foes one final time. “And so once again, you Crystal Gems think you’ve bested me…” it said, setting its sights on Garnet. “That ‘future vision’ of yours may grant you glimpses of what’s to come, but it can’t fill in the gaps of your past, can it? He must have done something to you three, something that made you forget about all of this. Still, I can’t help but wonder if Rose ever had those gaps at all…”
Garnet didn’t bother dignifying its malicious, mysterious words with a response. Still, her hands curled into tight fists at her sides, if only to hide the fear and doubt filling her by everything it had just implied. Everything she refused to believe.
“And as for you, Dipper…” the shapeshifter sent the boy a piercing glare. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you? But you have no idea what you’re up against. You’ll never find the author. If you keep digging, you’ll meet a fate worse than you can imagine. And this will be the last form you’ll ever take!”
Just before the tube could completely freeze over, the shapeshifter took on one last new form: Dipper’s. It let out a panicked scream in voice, one that would be permanently preserved as it finally froze solid. Ironically, the real Dipper was similarly frozen, albeit with fear as he stared at his own reflection in the icy glass before him.
As the shapeshifter’s dire warning echoed hauntingly inside his head.
Even so, Soos managed to let out a small laugh, to lighten the mood, if nothing else. “Heh, good luck sleeping tonight!”
No one saw much of a need to linger in the bunker for much longer after that. The group returned to the entrance in tense, anxious silence. Still, they all shared a sigh of relief as they climbed the stairs back up into fresh, evening forest air. The fireflies flickering through the dusk-painted trees was a comforting sight; a stark contrast to the dark, dank, deadly depths they’d been submerged in almost all day.
“Dude, I think I’m kind of adventured out for a little while,” Soos was the first to speak to the exhaustion they were all feeling. “My face hurts from doing this all day,” he pulled a shocked, screaming face.
“Yeah, but you gotta admit we’re all total heroes!” Mabel said, grinning. “Right, Steven?” Her smile swiftly fell when she noticed Steven staring sadly down at Amethyst’s still-unreformed gemstone. “Steven?”
“Don’t worry,” Garnet assured, resting her hands on both Steven and Mabel’s shoulders. “She’ll be fine.”
“B-but she’s usually back by now!” Steven protested. “Do you think something’s wrong?”
“No. Not this time,” Garnet finally cracked a smile as her sights settled on Amethyst’s gemstone. She didn’t need her future vision to tell her that something was changing inside of it; changing for the better .
“Just as long as she doesn’t come back looking like me again,” Wendy muttered to Dipper, aside.
“I’m still bummed that we’re no closer to finding the author guy,” Soos heaved a disappointed sigh. “Oh well, at least I got his sciencey coat and briefcase.” He held said ‘briefcase’ up, only for it to flop open and reveal a dusty screen and computer keys inside. “Whoa! What the-?”
“Soos, that’s not a briefcase!” Dipper exclaimed, surprised. “That’s a laptop!”
“And a really busted up one too,” Mabel noted as she eyed the time-weathered tech.
“Wow! It’s so old and cool!” Steven said, fascinated. “I wish Amethyst were here to see this! Well, technically she is here…” He nodded down at her gemstone. “But still.”
“I bet I could get this thing fixed up in a few days,” Soos said as he took a better look at the machine. “It’s gonna take a lot of duct tape…”
“This could be our next clue!” Dipper grinned, relieved to know that their trip into the bunker hadn’t been entirely in vain after all. “But… will it actually tell us anything?” he asked, turning to Garnet for answers once more.
“Hm… it’s definitely worth looking into…” she nodded. “I do think you ought to be careful in how you go about it, but still. There’s a good chance that we’ll be able to get at least a few answers out of it… But as always-” She paused, stealing a glance back as the bunker resealed itself shut behind them, cutting the menacing creature frozen in its depths off from the outside world once again. Along with all of the answers it could have given them, if only it had been willing to. “It's all about looking in the right places…”
Thoroughly worn from their underground adventure, everyone regrouped at the Mystery Shack to rest and recover. Pearl was already there, having just finished Greg and Stan fix the van. Needless to say, she had plenty of questions, especially when she saw her team return one short. As the kids settled in to relax around the den, Garnet took her aside to explain all that they’d seen and heard from the shapeshifter. Out of everyone else’s earshot, they spoke in worried whispers about shadowy secrets and missing memories. About the identity of an author that was still so far out of their reach.
“So, that shapeshifting creature claimed to know us?” Pearl asked, overwhelmed. “And Rose?”
“Yes,” Garnet tersely nodded. “It said we knew the author too.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense,” Pearl shook her head. “Until a few weeks ago, we had never even seen that journal before! How in the world would we have-”
“Something isn’t adding up,” Garnet interrupted, her arms crossed as she glanced down. “Everything down in that bunker felt so… familiar… I don’t know how to explain it. But it was the same feeling I got when I saw that journal for the first time.”
“So… what should we do?”
Garnet was silent for a moment, mulling the question over. When she answered it, any trace of uncertainty in her tone was replaced with calm, steady resolve. “We keep looking for the truth. And we don’t stop until we find it.”
Pearl could only nod, despite her lingering uneasiness. Their conversation faded as they returned to the den, to find Steven still dutifully keeping watch over Amethyst’s gemstone on the floor. “So,” Pearl rested a hand on his shoulder. “How long has it been?”
“Four hours…” Steven muttered, forlorn.
“Four hours?!” Pearl exclaimed, surprised. “She’s never taken so long! What do you think she’s doing in there?”
“I’m not sure,” Garnet replied, shaking her head. “I was too hard on her…”
“So, what happened to her this time anyway?” Stan piped up from his recliner. “She didn’t throw herself off another cliff, did she?”
Everyone exchanged a wide-eyed glance, remembering their promise to keep what happened in the bunker a secret. Which was why Garnet simply shrugged and said, “She got hit playing chicken with a train.”
“Again?” Stan snorted out a laugh. “That’s gotta be like, the third time she’s bit it to a train! Sheesh, Amethyst will never learn, will she?”
“Actually…” Garnet smiled when she noticed Amethyst’s gem slowly beginning to glow. “I think she will this time…”
“Oh! Oh! She’s back!” Steven jumped to his feet to give her some space to return. “Alright, everyone, be supportive.”
Just like before, Amethyst’s gem rose into the air, cycling through her past regenerations before settling on an entirely new one. One that wasn’t uneven or an impression, but rather, entirely her own. Just right, exactly the way she was supposed to be. The way she wanted to be.
She started as she came to land and opened her eyes, only to realize she’d come back in front of an audience. “What?” she asked, trying to play her surprise off.
“Aw, you barely changed!” Steven pouted, disappointed. It was true; the only real shift in this form was her newly black top and purple leggings. Not too different, but just different enough for her.
“Well, I think you look great, Amethyst!” Mabel complimented her, smiling. Beside her, Dipper and Soos both warmly nodded their agreement. “Seriously, black is so your color!”
“It’s a marked improvement!” Pearl clasped her hands together, delighted. “You finally fixed that shoulder strap that’s always bugged me!”
“Yeah, lookin’ good,” Stan agreed with a wry smirk. “You’d better still be able to pull off Revenge Trips in that new getup of yours.”
“Heh, you know it,” Amethyst chuckled. Her smile quickly faded, however, as Garnet approached her. A beat of silence passed between the Gems as Amethyst bashfully looked away–until she caught Garnet smiling down at her out of the corner of her eye.
“It’s perfect,” she said, with nothing less than genuine, wholehearted approval.
“Eh, whatevs,” Amethyst shrugged, blushing. “It’s just what feels right.”
“That’s why it’s perfect,” Garnet said and Amethyst couldn’t help but agree. After spending all day searching for herself, she finally found what she’d been looking for. Something honest, something real . She may not be the biggest or the best; but she was still herself, something this new form showed off far better than any other.
And at the end of the day, that was all she really needed.
Even still, there were a few loose ends she had to tie up. She made her way over to the far side of the den, where Wendy stood leaning against the wall, scrolling through her phone. Amethyst joined her, crossing her arms as she blew a bit of hair out of her eyes before she softly said, “Hey, I, uh… I’m sorry. About that one form I took earlier. You know, the one that looked just like you?”
Wendy gave her a small, understanding smile. “It’s ok, man. Really.”
“No, it’s not,” Amethyst huffed, ashamed. “I dunno, it just… ticked me off to hear everybody go on about how cool and tough you are. I wanted everyone–especially Garnet–to say that kinda stuff about me . But I just kept messing up, and… well, I just thought that, if I was more like you, then…”
“Then they’d all think you were cool and tough too?” Wendy filled in where she trailed off. Amethyst avoided her gaze as she sheepishly nodded. “That’s… honestly kinda wild to hear. Especially since you’re already way cooler than I could ever be.”
“Huh?” Amethyst looked up at her, surprised.
“I mean, think about it,” Wendy said. “You’re like, an immortal alien with a bunch of awesome superpowers. I’m just some normal teenager who’s pretty decent with an ax. Plus, you went toe-to-toe with that freaky shapeshifter, alone . Even I couldn’t have done that.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t beat it…” Amethyst muttered, rubbing her arm.
“So what?” Wendy asked, smirking. “You still put up one hell of a fight anyway, didn’t you?”
“I… I guess so.”
“Don’t sell yourself so short, dude,” Wendy let out a good-natured laugh. “You gave that thing a real run for its money. Admit it: you’re a total badass!“
“Alright, alright,” Amethyst finally broke down chuckling too. “I’m a badass. But if I am, then so are you! Seriously, you gotta show me some of those fancy ax swings of yours sometime.”
“Sure, but only if you show me all your sickest whip tricks.”
“Deal,” Amethyst grinned as they fist-bumped to seal it. The pair exchanged a satisfied smile, relieved as any remaining tension finally faded away. And in its place, they could both feel something else starting to take shape. A newfound friendship, built not on petty rivalry, but on earnest, honest respect.
The moment was suddenly broken when Steven caught Amethyst off guard, hugging her tightly from behind. “Welcome back!” he happily exclaimed.
Pearl joined in, proudly proclaiming, “Well done, Amethyst!”
As Garnet entered the growing embrace, Mabel excitedly hopped off the couch, hurrying over. “Oh boy! Group hug!” she cheered, pulling Stan out of his recliner as she forced him into the fold.
Everyone else quickly followed suit, all crowding around Amethyst, despite her flustered embarrassment. “Guys, cut it out!” she groaned, blushing. “Do we really have to do this?!”
“Yes,” Steven insisted, hugging her even tighter. “It’s hug time!”
“Ugh, this is so dumb!” Amethyst rolled her eyes. Still, she couldn’t say it was a nice change, to be at the center of so much praise and pride. To be congratulated instead of called out. To know that so many people genuinely cared about her after all.
Which was why, only when she was sure when no one was looking, Amethyst smiled after all.
Notes:
Next time... let the fusion fiascos begin... :3
Chapter 25: Alone Together
Summary:
After trying to learn the ropes of fusion, Steven makes a life-changing discovery thanks to Connie.
Notes:
God dammit. This chapter. Not only was it a struggle for me back in old UF, it was a struggle for me here. What can I say, I just... didn't really have like any good ideas to shake it up? So we end up with, in my own admission, a fairly weak one, that's kind of only meant to be a jumping off point for the (much better) next two. Still, I hope you all manage to enjoy it, and Stevonnie here, all the same. With my whining out of the way,we might as well get started.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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Fusion, as it turned out, was a lot harder than Steven ever thought it would be.
The Gems had spent most of the day trying to teach him, and with good reason. They’d been on edge ever since their encounter with Peridot in the Kindergarten. While nothing had really come of it so far, they knew they had to be ready for if and when something did. They all had to be.
Garnet had been the one to suggest it; Steven would need to learn how to fuse eventually, so why not start now? He eagerly leapt at the offer too; fusion was, by far, one of the most amazing talents the Gems possessed. And according to the Gems, he could do it…
If only he could get the hang of dancing first.
In a way, it was funny; he’d never had much trouble dancing on his own before. But wherever he tried to keep up with the Gems’ complicated moves, he struggled, to say the least. Amethyst swayed her hips in ways he couldn’t even hope to copy. Pearl’s twirls and pirouettes left him lying dizzy on the floor. And every move Garnet made was much too fast and fluid for him to even memorize, much less imitate.
Hours passed, with little to show for it. Try as he might to follow along, Steven only found himself falling behind, even if it was only by a beat or two. As a result, he couldn’t harmonize, he couldn’t synchronize, and above all–
He couldn’t fuse.
By the time Steven hit the ground for the tenth time in a row, the Gems finally decided to call it quits for the night. They were nothing but supportive as they led Steven over to the kitchen for a much-needed breather. Still, even if they weren’t disappointed, he certainly was. “I don’t get it,” he said after taking a swig of water. “I thought I almost had it… What could I be doing wrong?”
“Don’t worry, Steven,” Pearl reassured, smiling. “Nobody expects you to be able to perform fusion right away.”
“Yeah!” Amethyst hopped up onto the counter. “It’s really hard, even for us!”
“Not for me,” Garnet coolly countered.
“We’ll keep working on the dance for now, and who knows? Maybe in a few years…” Pearl trained off as her smile slowly faded “Though… I wonder if Steven’s body is even capable of fusion. Fusion merges the physical forms of Gems , but Steven’s half human . He’s organic.”
“Organic?” Steven cut in, frowning.
“Aw, come on,” Amethyst scoffed, unconcerned. “This is Steven we’re talking about here! Who knows what’s gonna happen?!” She laughed as she pulled Steven in for a noogie, laughing all the while. Though Steven tried to join her, he couldn’t really get past a smile as the first inklings of fear started to sink in. The fear that he might never fuse, no matter how hard he tried.
Before he could fall too deep into that fear, however, Garnet stepped in. “Well, I think Steven can do it,” she said with the utmost confidence.
Steven only wished he could share that confidence, but how could he? The Gems had years of experience when it came to fusion, from the swift and skillful Opal, to the strong and sturdy Sugilite, to the massive and mighty Alexandrite. Meanwhile, Steven had only just learned what fusions were a few weeks ago. Not only was he flagging behind them, he was flagging far behind them. And at this point, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever catch up.
After all, how could he ever aspire to form fusions as incredible as theirs if he couldn’t fuse at all?
“And we’ve been at it all day, but I’m still no closer than I was when we started,” Steven sighed as he filled his friends in later that evening. They’d taken to relaxing in a clearing not too far away from the temple, enjoying the fading glow of twilight under the trees as fireflies lazily flickered about. Or at least, most of them were enjoying it. “Pearl thinks I might not be able to do it at all because I’m ‘organic’, but Garnet said she thinks I can do it. But to be honest, I’m not so sure…”
“Aw, don’t sell yourself short, Steven!” Mabel reassured. “You said the same thing about your healing powers and look at you now! You’re the spitting image of a magical healer!”
“Heh, good one,” Steven chuckled while Dipper and Connie could only roll their eyes at such an obvious pun. “Thanks, Mabel.”
“I don’t get what dancing has to do with fusion in the first place,” Dipper said, tapping his chin. “I mean, how does it even work? Do each of the Gems use the same dance no matter who they’re fusing with, or is it different every time? How do they even know if they’re doing it right? Is it like a feeling or is it something else?”
“I wish I knew…” Steven pouted. “Because whatever it is, I don’t have it…”
“Can’t you just get the Gems to write out the steps?” Connie suggested. “That’s bound to make it a little easier to understand, right?”
“No… I don’t think it’s just about the dancing,” Steven said, glancing down. “When they fuse, they glow and kind of… phase into each other. I don’t know if I can even do that…”
“Well, maybe all that stuff happens after you get the dancing part down,” Mabel theorized with a growing grin. “And until then, you can always practice your dancing skills with us! Right, guys?”
Dipper and Connie both tensed up, eyes wide as they exchanged an awkward, uncertain glance. “Uh, I don’t know about that…” Dipper said, far from enthusiastic.
“Me either…” Connie agreed as she rubbed her arm.
“What’s there to know about?” Mabel scoffed, smirking. “It’s just dancing! Come on, Steven, let’s show ‘em! It’s time for a random dance party for no reason!”
Steven could only laugh when Mabel pulled him to his feet. Their ‘dance’ wasn’t much more than the two of them spinning circles around each other, lost to a giggling fit the entire time. It came to a sudden end as they clumsily tripped over each others’ feet, bringing them both toppling to the ground in a breathless, but happy heap.
“You know, I’m not sure if this will really help me learn how to fuse,” Steven said as he helped Mabel back up. “But it sure is fun!”
“That’s the idea!” Mabel warmly agreed. “Come on, you two!” she hurried over to Dipper and Connie, all but yanking them both up off the ground. “Show us your moves!”
“Uh, I don’t really… have any ‘moves’,” Connie admitted, blushing as she looked over at Dipper.
“Me neither,” he shook his head, just as flustered.
“Sure, you do,” Mabel grabbed her brother by the arms and spun him around.
“M-Mabel!” Dipper protested, already dizzy. Even so, it came with a laugh he couldn’t hide behind annoyance.
“What’s the matter, bro-bro?” Mabel teased as she grabbed his shoulders from behind. “Would you rather dance with Steven instead?”
He yelped as she shoved him over to Steven, who stood eagerly ready to welcome him with open arms. At least until Dipper stopped himself just shy of getting there. “Uh, t-that’s ok,” he forced out a laugh, despite the warmth spreading through his face when he caught Steven’s confused frown. “Why don’t you dance with Connie instead?”
“Ok!” Steven quickly perked up. As Mabel pulled Dipper into another haphazard dance, he turned to Connie as she stood on the outskirts of their ‘party’, watching apprehensively, but strangely not participating. “Do you want to dance with me, Connie?” he smiled as he offered her his hand.
“O-oh,” Connie started, her face flushing with embarrassment as she glanced away. “Well… well, it’s just… I… I’ve never really danced in front of anyone before…”
“Really?” Steven asked, surprised.
“Yeah…” Connie sighed. “There was a dance at my school, and I was really excited about it but… I just couldn’t bring myself to go. I couldn’t stop thinking about everyone staring at me…”
Steven frowned, unsure of what to say to make her feel better, other than, “Well… no one’s staring right now…”
Connie paused, stealing a brief glance over at Dipper and Mabel. As distracted as they were with their own dance, they certainly weren’t looking. But then there was Steven, standing there with a soft smile as he extended his hand to her again. A hand she almost took, except… “Um… you are,” she stiffly pointed out.
“Oh yeah…” Steven glanced away, blushing. “One sec.” He quickly fished his phone out of his pocket, pulling up a tune to play. As he sat it down in the nearby grass, a light, upbeat pop melody filled the warm evening air.
“Woo! Finally, some jams to dance to!” Mabel cheered from across the clearing. She quickly caught onto the beat and didn’t hesitate to drag Dipper along to it, against his barely-serious protests.
Connie couldn’t help but laugh at her unbridled enthusiasm, though it soon faded when she noticed what Steven was doing. He stood a pace away from her, one arm covering his eyes as he held his other out to her. “So what I was trying to say was…” he began with a shy, yet earnest smile. “Come dance with me.”
And this time, that’s exactly what she did.
She forced her anxiety down as she grabbed his hand, unable to stifle a blush when he finally uncovered his eyes to look at her. True to her word, she had no experience when it came to dancing, which was why she let him take the lead. Their dance started much slower than the one the twins were still battling over somewhere in the background. But for Steven and Connie, this was more than enough to get them both smiling as the music started to swell.
The gentle glow of the nearby fireflies was dazzling, but Steven found himself dazzled by another sight altogether as he and Connie pulled apart a bit. Her former fears finally faded as she let out a joyful laugh, spinning freely without a care in the world. Steven joined her, pulling Dipper and Mabel along after them as they ran, skipped, and danced around the clearing, endlessly laughing all the while. And with that laughter ringing loud and clear, even the emerging shadows of dusk couldn’t compare to just how bright it felt for all four of the kids in that moment.
But as they’d soon find out, it would only get brighter from there.
It didn’t take long for the twins to crash into each other, knocking them both back into the grass. Steven and Connie tripped over each other too, but she managed to catch him far before he could ever fall. And in that moment, with their faces flush and only inches apart as laughter once again bubbled up in both of their chests–
Something nothing short of magic happened.
It took only a moment, for Connie to close her eyes, relishing this moment for all it was worth. It only took a moment, for Steven’s gem to envelop them both in a warm, rosy glow.
It only took a moment, for two to become one .
They took in a breath like it was their first, their eyes slowly opening to find the same forest surrounding them, but from a strangely different perspective. An odd sort of sensation struck them as they sat there, disoriented. It felt as though they were still holding onto each other, but that couldn’t be right. Instead, they were on the ground, arms loose at their sides as they stared at their long pair of shapely legs.
A single pair of legs.
“Whoa…” they gasped in a voice they didn’t recognize. “Why am I-” They stopped short when they found Steven’s flip flops and Connie’s flats, lying discarded in the grass beside them. Their arm–much longer than it should have been–reached out to take a sandal, holding it against their foot. “Why is… your sandal too small for my—your feet…?”
They trailed off when they finally noticed the pair of wide, awestruck eyes upon them. They glanced up to find Dipper and Mabel staring at them, their jaws dropped in shock they couldn’t understand the source of. “Guys, what’s…” they blinked down at their hands, still trying to get used to the sound of their own voice. “What’s going on…?”
After what felt like an eternity, the twins finally managed to find their own voices again. “That’s… a great question,” Dipper said, his eyebrows raised.
“Ok, you’re a really cool-looking mysterious stranger, whoever you are,” Mabel began a small, puzzled smile. “But, uh… where’d you come from? And where did Steven and Connie go?”
“Huh?” they frowned, confused. “What are you talking about? I’m… I… we’re… right here…?”
The twins exchanged a glance that was filled with enough doubt to make them share it as well. They took another look at themselves, at their strangely long limbs, their jean shorts, pink shirt, and turquoise top, their long, dark, curly hair, and–
And the all-too familiar gemstone sitting squarely in the center of their stomach. The surest sign there ever could have been that they weren’t just one or the other.
They were both .
“Steven?!” they exclaimed, eyes wide as it suddenly hit them all at once. “Connie?! I-I did it! You did it?”
The twins stood by, warily watching as they struggled to pick themselves up off the ground. “Wait,” they began again, legs wobbling as they pulled their unfamiliar weight onto them. “This is—no. This is… great !” A huge grin spread across their face as they stole another glance down at themselves, stars in their eyes. “Oh my gosh, look at you now! I can’t believe it!”
“Um, hey, remember us?” Dipper raised his hand. “Care to explain what the heck is going on here?”
“Dipper, Mabel!” they beamed down at the pair. “It’s me! It’s us !”
“Uh… who?” Mabel frowned, shaking her head.
“You guys!” they laughed, elated as they proudly proclaimed, “I’m a fusion !”
“What?!” the twins both exclaimed, more bewildered than ever.
“Wait, whoa, hold on,” Dipper put his hands up as he tried to make sense of this. “So what you’re saying is…you’re Steven and Connie… fused together?”
“Uh huh,” they nodded, grinning.
For as much as Dipper might’ve been confused, Mabel was nearly every bit as beside herself with excitement as the fusion themselves was. “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh !” she squealed as she ran up to them, taking both of their hands. “This is the coolest thing to ever happen in the history of everything ever! You’re so tall and pretty… and so Steveny and Connieish all at the same time!”
“Well, I am our fusion, so I hope I’d be pretty ‘Steveny and Connieish’,” the fusion said, chuckling.
“How did this even happen in the first place?” Dipper asked as he curiously circled them. “I thought only Gems could fuse with each other.”
“I have no idea,” they shrugged. “One minute, we’re just dancing and the next, we’re like… this. It’s… weird.” For the first time since they formed, their smile slowly faded into something more contemplative as they held up their hand, slowly turning it over. It felt as foreign as it looked, yet it was still them , all of this was, in a way they scarcely knew how to describe. So they didn’t bother trying to, at least not right now, when they were still riding this high.“B-but in a good way! It’s like… we’re both here, but there’s less of us, a-and more of us! Does… does that make any sense?”
“None at all,” Dipper bluntly admitted.
“Nothing needs to make sense when you’re a totally amazing fusion!” Mabel cheerfully proclaimed. “So who’s in charge of what? Does Steven control your legs while Connie works the arms, or is it the other way around? Are you guys taking turns talking or are you both talking at the same time and it comes out as one voice? Do you have any special fusion powers? Like flying? Or invisibility? Or speaking French?”
“Hm…” the fusion thoughtfully tapped their chin. “I don’t think we–I mean, I have any special powers–aside from the ones I– Steven already has, anyway. As for who controls what… I think we’re just doing it together. It’s kind of hard to explain if you can’t really feel it for yourself.”
“I want to feel it!” Mabel’s hand shot straight up. “Fuse with me next! Oh!” She grabbed her brother’s arm, pulling him up alongside her. “And Dipper too! All four of us, at the same time! That way, we can all feel what it’s like, together !”
“Mabel…” Dipper groaned, flustered as he yanked his arm away from her. “Steven and Connie literally just fused. Don’t you think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself here?”
“Aw, I guess so,” Mabel sighed, still smiling. “Sorry, you guys. I didn’t mean to overshadow just how awesome you two are on your own. You guys deserve your time to shine! So you know what we’ve gotta do now, don’t you?”
The fusion raised an eyebrow, unsure of the meaning behind her leading grin, at least at first. It didn’t take them long to get it, and once they did, they quickly folded into an eager smile themselves.
After all, as long as they were together, they might as well make the most of it, right?
So they took both twins by the hands, pulling them along after them back towards the temple as they happily exclaimed, “I have to show everybody !”
“So?” the fusion asked, arms held out wide as they showed themselves off. “Pretty cool, right?” They couldn’t help but smirk when they saw the stunned looks on each of Gems’ faces, almost identical to how the twins had been back in the woods. Dipper and Mabel stood alongside them now, every bit as curious to see how they’d react to Steven’s first fusion. Especially after they’d worried if he’d ever be able to fuse at all, worries that were all but completely unfounded now.
Pearl was the first to shake her shock off as she stiffly spoke up. “H-he fused? With Connie?!”
“Pearl,” Amethyst elbowed her, letting out a snort of a laugh. “Look at Garnet.”
They both peered over at her, only to find the massive, delighted grin spread wide across her face. Despite that grin, she said nothing, only gleefully staring at the fusion as her teammates continued taking them in.
“So,” Amethyst flashed the twins a wry grin. “Were you guys there when these two… you know…?” Her smile turned even more mischevious as she linked her fingers together.
“ Amethyst !” Pearl warned, flustered. Fortunately, the innuendo mostly went over the kids’ heads. Mostly.
“Uh, yeah, we were there,” Dipper rubbed his arm, uncomfortable.
“And we saw the whole thing!” Mabel chimed in. “Including the part where they both got all shiny and they whoosh –turned into the same person! It was super cool!”
“And kind of confusing,” Dipper countered with an honest shrug.
“It’s more than just confusing,” Pearl agreed as she examined the fusion from almost every angle. “It’s unprecedented! A Gem fusing with a human being? It’s impossible! Or at the very least inappropriate…”
Amethyst suddenly shoved her out of the way so she could grin up at the much taller fusion. “Don’t listen to Pearl. You two look great together! How does it feel, Steven? Connie? … Stevonnie ?!”
“That’s it!” Mabel snapped her fingers. “I’ve been trying to come up with something to call you guys that isn’t just ‘Steven-and-Connie’. Stevonnie is perfect ! It fits you so well!”
“It's literally just Steven and Connie’s names mashed together,” Dipper dryly pointed out.
“Uh, yeah, that’s what makes it so great,” Amethyst said, smirking. “Because they literally are Steven and Connie mashed together.”
“Stevonnie, huh?” the fusion couldn’t help but smile at the name. “I like that.”
“Then it’s settled!” Mabel exclaimed as she took their hand and shook it. “Stevonnie, it’s so nice to meet you!”
“You already know us,” Stevonnie laughed. “But thanks.”
“Yes, well…” Pearl cut in with an apprehensive frown. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourselves, but… you two should unfuse this instant.”
“What?” all four (three) of the kids asked in surprised unison. Above all of them, Stevonnie was the most taken aback as they looked down at themselves first, then back at Pearl.
“I don’t understand,” they shook their head. “Pearl, you were so worried that Steven wouldn’t be able to do this. Aren’t you proud of him?”
“O-of course I am!” Pearl started, anxious. Unsure of what else to say, she decided to defer to someone who was a bit more experienced in navigating waters like these. “Garnet, help me out here.”
Garnet complied, walking up to Stevonnie and placing her hands on the sides of the fusion’s face. They stared up at her, worrying she might request they split up, just like Pearl had. Only to get something entirely different from her instead.
“Stevonnie, listen to me,” Garnet began, strong and steady. “You are not two people. And you are not one person. You… are an experience! Make sure you’re a good experience. Now…” Her earlier smile returned in full force as she offered them one simple, easy piece of advice. One she knew they’d have no problems following to the fullest. “Go have fun !”
And so, that’s exactly what Stevonnie set out to do.
They’d rushed out of the house, practically dragging Dipper and Mabel after them as they headed out into the early evening. After all, if they were going to go have fun, they figured they all should get a chance to, fused or not. Even so, it quickly became apparent that the twins couldn’t quite keep up as Stevonnie’s excitement began to expand into all-out euphoria.
They led the way across town, over to the lake, where the moon shined brightly upon the surface of the water. With a smile on their face and the wind in their hair, Stevonnie jogged up the shoreline, leaving the twins to watch as they bounded up to the short cliffs nearby. They hesitated, only for a moment, before they dove off the edge of one of those cliffs, howling with laughter even as they splashed into the dark water below.
That laughter only continued to echo as they let the current carry them back to shore. High above them, the sky was sparkling with stars that had never seemed as bright or as beautiful as they did right now. Likewise, every breath they took felt fresh and invigorating, every thought and action felt bold and boundless in ways they’d never known before. It was if they could go anywhere, do anything, be anyone they could possibly dream of.
And the best part was, they’d get to do it all together .
Eventually, Dipper and Mabel found them as they stepped out of the shallows, wringing the water out of their hair. “Oh, hey, guys,” Stevonnie greeted them with a bright smile .”Why do you both look so tired?”
The twins practically leaned against each other, completely breathless after chasing the fusion all the way over here. “Oh… no reason…” Dipper deadpanned, exhausted.
“Whoo!” Mabel perked up much more quickly. “Well, that was one heck of a late night run! So what do you guys wanna do next?”
“I don’t really know…” Stevonnie admitted. “Garnet told us to ‘have fun’, and I am, but… I feel like I’m supposed to be doing even more than that. I’m just… not sure what, exactly…”
“We could always find a monster for you guys to fight,” Mabel suggested with a daring grin. “Then you can put your super fusion skills—if you have any, anyway—to the test!”
“Or maybe we could do something a little less… life-threatening?” Dipper countered as they all started making their way back toward town. “Like check out what that’s all about.”
He nodded in the direction of a nearby parking lot, one that was usually abandoned during the day. But in the low light of evening, a small fire had been set in, of all things, a dumpster sitting on the pavement. From a distance, the kids could see a group gathered around the dumpster, laughing as they lobbed random objects into the blaze.
“Oo, a real-life garbage fire,” Mabel cooed, intrigued. “I’ve heard about them, but never actually seen one in person before!”
“I don’t know, you guys…” Stevonnie frowned, rubbing their arm. “That looks pretty intense…”
“Yeah, it’s intense, but so are you, Stevonnie,” Mabel encouraged. “Intensely awesome !”
“We might as well at least go see and see what’s going on over there” Dipper said, shrugging. “And if it’s too intense, we can always just bail out.”
“Y-yeah,” Stevonnie agreed, forcing a bit more confidence into their step as they followed after the twins. “We can always bail…”
In the dim street light, the kids’ approach went largely unnoticed by the crowd in the parking lot. They decided to take refuge behind the trees surrounding it, scoping the scene out now that they had a better look. It didn’t take them long to realize the “intense” group gathered around the fire was far more familiar than they first thought.
“Oh, hey, looks like it’s just Wendy and her friends,” Dipper pointed out. Sure enough, many of the local teens were present and accounted for, including Wendy as she hung back and laughed at her friends’ rowdy antics.
“See? Nothin’ to worry about,” Mabel smiled up at Stevonnie. “Just a bunch of teens being teens.” She paused for a moment, perching her hand against her chin in thought. “You know, Stevonnie, you sort of look like a teen now too. You should totally go join them!”
“W-what? Me?” Stevonnie started, eyes wide. “I-I mean, on one hand it’d be fun to see if I could just blend right in with them, but… I shouldn’t. It’s dishonest.”
“Maybe a little,” Mabel acknowledged. “But when are you ever gonna have a chance to hang out with the cool kids—er, cool older kids, since we’re already pretty cool and all—again? When you’re older? By then, all the older kids will be even older and then-”
“Mabel, you’ve already stopped making any sense,” Dipper cut in, rolling his eyes. “Still… it would be interesting to see if you guys could blend in with them. With the way you look now, none of them would probably even recognize you.”
“And even if they do recognize you, I’m sure they’ll love you since you’re so amazing !” Mabel encouraged. She attempted to give the fusion a gentle nudge out in the open, not that she even got them to budge with how much taller they were than her. “So get out there and mingle, Miss-uh, Mr.? Both? Neither? Whichever applies here? Aw, who cares!” She gave them another shove, one that, paired with a burst of their own courage, was finally enough to get them out of hiding. “Just go!”
As nervous as they were about this, Stevonnie figured it couldn’t be too bad if they had both twins in their corner, silently cheering them on from the sidelines. So they ventured out, stepping onto the parking lot’s still-warm pavement with their bare feet. They tread softly, all the way over to where the teens were still occupied with throwing sticks and rocks and pieces of trash into the garbage fire, just to see how it would react. Stevonnie wasn’t so sure what about such an activity was so enchanting or enticing in the teens’ eyes, but maybe they would, when they were older.
Which, of course, was what they were supposed to be acting like they were right now.
“Come on, Thompson!” Lee cheered as Nate enthusiastically echoed.
“Toss the can! Toss the can!”
“Uh, I-I don’t know you guys,” Thompson frowned as he held up a can of air freshener. “Won’t it like, explode or something?”
“Yeah, it will,” Wendy said, smirking. “That’s exactly why you’ve gotta throw it, man! It’ll be sick.”
The other teens jumped in, excitedly encouraging Thompson until he finally threw the can into the fire. Naturally, it exploded, rattling the dumpster as it filled the air with a fresh, pleasant scent.
“Nice,” Tammy smirked as she snapped a photo of the blast.
“Hm,” Jenny noted, grinning as she took the aroma in. “Smells like my Gunga’s linen closet out here now.”
“Cozy,” Buck nodded his approval. “Like laying down in a pile of fresh laundry.”
“Ha! Or like a lion laying down on your face while you’re trying to sleep!” Stevonnie finally chimed in, chuckling. Their levity was short-lived as the entire group turned to face them, confused by them and their sudden appearance. Stevonnie backpedaled, suddenly anxious under so many eyes on them, though they still forced a smile all the same. “I-I mean… uh, how do you do, um, fellow teens?”
“Uh… do we know you?” Tambry asked, eyebrows raised.
“Um, sort of?” Stevonnie shrugged, though they quickly caught themself. “I-I mean, no! Nope. Never met neither of us-I-I mean, just me before-”
“Whoa,” Wendy spoke up, incredulous. Her eyes were wide as she stared straight at Stevonnie; or rather, at the completely exposed gemstone on their stomach. “No way… Steven ?”
Stevonnie froze, startled, but fortunately, no one paid them much mind in favor of looking over at Wendy, completely confused. “Uh, Wendy?” Lee said. “That’s not Steven.”
“Look, I know it sounds crazy, guys,” she glanced at her bewildered friends. “But they’ve got his-” She stopped short when she looked back at Stevonnie–
Only to find that Stevonnie wasn’t there.
“They probably won’t recognize us, huh?” Stevonnie snarked the second they made it back to the twins. “Well, Wendy sure did just now!”
“Sorry,” Dipper winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess I sort of forgot about Steven’s gem. There really is no mistaking it for anyone else’s, huh?”
“Why’d you run away, Stevonnie?” Mabel asked, frowning. “If you’d stuck around, I’m sure you would have hit it off with them just fine.”
“I-I wanted to stay, but…” Stevonnie trailed off, loosely hugging themself. “I just… t-they were all looking at me, and I didn’t know what to say, so I just-”
“Bailed.” The kids all flinched when they realized they’d been caught. Wendy stood behind them, casually leaning against a tree as she offered them a wry smile. “So, ‘Stevonnie’, huh? What’s all that about?”
Stevonnie rubbed their arm, nervously glancing away. “Um… well…”
“Wendy, it’s only the coolest thing ever , you’re never gonna believe it!” Mabel explained in their stead, already going a mile a minute. “Steven and Connie fused ! It’s this super cool thing we thought only Gems could do where they get all glowy, and combine with each other, and turn into just one, brand-new Gem, but then Steven and Connie did it and bam –we’ve got ourselves a Stevonnie!”
Wendy paused, surprised, as she looked to Dipper for confirmation. All he could really do was offer up a shrug. “We couldn’t make this kind of stuff up if we tried.”
“Guess I have no choice but to buy it then,” Wendy shook her head, smiling at Stevonnie. “It's pretty wild that you guys were able to do something like this. But what I still don’t get is why you took off like that just now. My friends are super chill. They totally wouldn’t have freaked out if they found out who you really are.”
“A-are you sure?” Stevonnie asked, nervously running a hand through their long hair.
“Positive,” Wendy nodded. “Why don’t you come back out there with me? I won’t even blow your cover if you don’t want me to. I’ll have your back the whole time, trust me.”
“Really?” Stevonnie asked, exchanging a brief glance with the twins. Just like before, their encouraging smiles proved just enough to urge them onward, even against the dread trying to drag them down. “O-ok, I guess.”
“Don’t worry,” Dipper assured. “We’ll be right here if you need us.”
“And remember what Garnet said,” Mabel enthusiastically added. “Have some fun !”
“Fun…” Stevonnie softly echoed as they hesitantly followed Wendy back over to the others. “Right…”
“Hey, guys, I’m back,” Wendy greeted her friends as they remained around the dumpster. “And there’s someone I’d like you to meet. This is Stevonnie.”
“Uh… hi,” they stiffly waved. To their relief, the teens returned it with welcoming nods and sincere smiles. A far cry from the suspicious, downright unnerved reaction they’d been expecting–and afraid of.
“Oh, it’s Stevonnie !” Jenny exclaimed. “For some reason, Wendy thought you were our friend Steven.”
“O-oh, really?” Stevonnie asked with a much too-wide smile.
“Cut me some slack, Jenny,” Wendy crossed her arms. “This garbage fire only gives so much light to go off of out here.”
“Uh, about the fire,” Stevonnie spoke up, curious. “What’s the deal with it? Did one of you guys set it, or…”
“We just found it like this,” Nate shrugged. “Already on fire and everything.”
“Really?” Stevonnie asked, surprised. “Weird.”
A beat of silence passed as they all regarded the still burning blaze before them, started under circumstances that would forever remain a mystery. “Yeah, you know, it is pretty weird,” Buck finally agreed.
“So are you like, new around here or something?” Tambry asked Stevonnie, barely looking up from her phone.
“Uh… I guess you could say that,” they said. At least it wasn’t a total lie; Stevonnie, as a fusion, was only a few short hours old, after all. As strange as that thought was for someone who could and was passing for a teen.
“Aw, man!” Thompson’s forlorn wail cut through the conversation. He shook a trash can out, revealing it was completely empty. “We’re all out of random junk to throw into the fire!”
“Boo!” Lee and Nate jeered, sticking their thumbs down.
“Eh, no big deal,” Wendy shrugged, unconcerned. “We should probably get going anyway. We’re gonna be late.”
“Late for what?” Stevonnie asked.
“Sour Cream’s throwing a rave in the abandoned warehouse on the other side of town,” Jenny explained. “He’s got his whole DJing rig set up there and everything, and we promised we wouldn’t be late this time…” She shot a critical look at Lee, Nate, and Thompson.
“Hey, don’t blame us,” Lee raised his hands defensively. “Thomspon’s the one who held us up with all those dumb errands last time.”
“S-sorry,” Thompson rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “But my mom said she’d cut my allowance if I didn’t pick up the dry cleaning!”
“You’re gonna make us late again if you don’t quit yapping about it,” Nate playfully elbowed him.
“A rave… like a dance?” Stevonnie pressed, suddenly intrigued.
Jenny nodded, smiling. “You should totally come with us, Stevonnie! There’s gonna be free glow sticks and everything. It’s gonna be crazy .”
Stevonnie perked up at the idea of it. Of a dance, just like the very thing that had brought them together in the first place. Of an evening filled with the kind of fun they could only have as a fusion. Of a chance to finally find out who they truly were when they were together.
“Yes!” they said with far more confidence than they’d felt in a while. “I’ll definitely be there! I just have to… take care of something really quick first,” they glanced over their shoulder, back to where the twins were hiding, just out of sight. “You all go on ahead. I’ll meet you there.”
Fortunately, the teens didn’t question them as they began to head out, leaving the dumpster fire behind to eventually burn out. “See you there, Stevonnie,” Buck coolly waved them farewell as a few of the others did the same. Wendy lingered at the back of the group, if only to check on Stevonnie once the others were well out of earshot.
“Well, look at you two, about to go to your first ‘teen party’,” she said, impressed by their boldness. “You sure you’re up for it? There’s supposed to be like, a ton of people at this thing.”
“A-a ton?” Stevonnie asked, suddenly wary. Still, before their nerves could overwhelm them again, they forced them back down where they belonged. Back under the surface as far as they could possibly go. “Uh, y-yeah! Sure, I’m up for it! It should be fun.”
“Yeah, it should,” Wendy clapped a hand on their back. “Don’t take too long back here. You don’t wanna miss any of it.”
She offered the fusion one final grin as she followed after her friends. For a moment, Stevonnie was left standing in the parking lot, entirely on their own. With no one watching them, their smile slowly faded as they found themselves staring down at their hands. As that uncertainty, that anxiety, that dread started to roll in like an oncoming storm they couldn’t seem to stop, no matter how hard they tried.
“Are you ok?” they softly asked themselves. Their gaze stayed on their hands, close together at first, until they slowly let them drift apart. “We can stop if you…” They trailed off, their brow furrowing as they struggled to make sense of what was flowing through them. And why it made them feel so wrong when everything about them should have been so right .
“N-no, it’s fine,” they shook their head to clear it. They pulled their hands back together again, clasping them tightly, securely. Desperately. “I’m fine. Don’t worry.”
They nodded, choosing to accept that. Even if neither of them truly believed it.
“Ooooooh my gosh, Stevonnie !” Mabel’s excited squeal caught them off guard. And so did the moment she barreled into them from behind, hugging their legs tightly. “See? We told you they’d love you! They even invited you to their super cool teen dance party!”
“You’re not actually gonna go to that, are you?” Dipper asked, perplexed.
“I mean, I said I would,” Stevonnie rubbed the back of their neck. “So why wouldn't I?”
“What if they find out you’re not really… you know,” Dipper frowned as he motioned to the fusion as a whole.
“Then they’ll find out,” Mabel shrugged before Stevonnie could even consider the question. “No big deal, right, Stevonnie?”
“Y-yeah,” Stevonnie said, trying to prepare themselves for the night ahead. And whatever experiences came along with it, good, bad, or both. “No big deal…”
True to the teens’ word, the abandoned warehouse was already aglow in neon lights by the time Stevonnie and the twins arrived. Inside, a crowd gladly danced to the smooth beats Sour Cream was mixing, cheering as he turned the tunes up even more. For a while, the kids stayed just out of sight, hiding behind one of the factory’s broken walls to watch the party from a distance. For as fun as it might’ve looked, Stevonnie couldn’t deny it was every bit as intimidating too. To the point that they would have nearly bailed then and there–if not for the pair still standing by to support them.
“Remember,” Dipper began with an encouraging grin. “Just like before, you guys can always bail if you need to.”
“But you shouldn’t need to because you totally got this!” Mabel confidently countered. “Now go on in there and show everyone how awesome you two are together !”
Stevonnie nodded, gathering up all of the courage they had. It was almost enough to chase the anxious clouds hanging over them away. Almost. “Yeah,” they agreed nonetheless. “We’ve got this.” They stood tall, closing their eyes as they stepped out into the open, as ready to head into the party as they’d ever be.”We’ve got this.”
“Have fun!” Mabel shouted after them as they ventured inside.
“Mabel! Not so loud!” Dipper scolded, pulling her back behind the wall. “This is a teens-only party. We’re not even supposed to be here, remember?”
“Oh yeah,” Mabel nodded. Still, she called out to Stevonnie one final time, albeit in a whisper, much to her brother’s annoyance. “Have fun!”
As for Stevonnie, they strode into the party as steadily as they could, trying their best to ignore the handful of intrigued stares from a few of the people they passed by. “You’ve got this,” they echoed again as they squared their shoulders. “I’ve got this.” They stole a glance over their shoulder, back to where the twins were peeking out from the wall to offer them a set of smiles and thumbs-ups. With so many eyes already lingering on them, their encouragement did little to ease the worry all but starting to eat away at them now. “I-I… I’ve got this-”
“Got what?”
Stevonnie stopped just on the outskirts of the group of teens they’d been hanging out with earlier. They were clearly pleased to see them, but the curiosity in a few of their gazes made Stevonnie uneasy in a way they couldn’t shake. Especially when they realized so many more strangers were looking at them the exact same way. “Uh… I’ve got… a feeling this party will be great!” they perked up as much as they could. They allowed themselves a sigh of relief as a few of the teens agreed with a round of whoops and cheers.
Things only got even more exciting from there as the bass thrumming through the warehouse picked up a bit. It wasn’t lost on any of the partygoers as even more of them took to the dance floor to enjoy it.
“Looks like Sour Cream’s pumping things up,” Buck coolly noted.
“Rave time!” Lee and Nate proclaimed together.
“You know what that means, Thompson!” Lee goaded, grinning.
“No! I’m not taking my shirt off this time!” Thompson protested. At least until Lee and Nate inevitably wore him down.
“Thompson! Thompson! Thompson!”
“The peer pressure’s too strong!” he cried, ripping his shirt off and waving it over his head. “Tambry, you better not post any pictures of this online like last time!”
“Too late,” Tambry deadpanned, already in the process of uploading one.
“Aw, man, this is great,” Wendy shared a laugh with Stevonnie over their antics. “See? I told you guys you’d have a great time.”
“Yeah…” Stevonnie agreed with an unshakable smile. “Yeah, I am.” They stood a bit taller as they started to take in the party with a fresh set of eyes, an entirely new perspective. This wasn’t something to be afraid of, it wasn’t something to run away from. It was something to embrace, to enjoy every second of all it was worth. Much like fusion as a whole was, really. This was an experience, just like Garnet had said.
An experience they were finally ready to have together .
With a spring in their step and not an ounce of hesitation, Stevonnie made their way out onto the dance floor. For once, no one watching them seemed to matter in the slightest as they made their first move, bold and smooth. Wendy and her friends were among the first to spot them, the twins soon after from their spot on the sidelines, but it wasn’t long before plenty more followed suit. After all, how could they not watch such a spectacular sight?
The rest of the world seemed to fade away as Stevonnie freely flew across the floor. Working only with the beat of the music and the beat of their now-shared heart, they darted, dove, danced entirely on their own. Except they weren’t on their own, not anymore. Because as long as they were together, how could they ever be alone?
Their dance reached its height as they launched themselves high into the air, gracefully spinning as gravity brought them back down. They landed low, catching themselves with a satisfied sigh as they felt a welcome rush of warm flow through them. It was the very feeling they’d been chasing ever since they’d first formed, a feeling hard-earned, but here all the same.
The feeling of knowing, truely, wholly, wonderfully, knowing exactly what and who they were supposed to be.
If only that feeling could have lasted forever.
Stevonnie opened their eyes to find many more resting solely on them. In the low, colorful light, they could only just make out the shocked expressions, only barely hear the awestruck gasps over the music. While no one said a word, one thing was more than clear. Stevonnie had their attention, whether they wanted it or not.
And they most certainly did not .
“I-I thought this was a dance party,” they let out a nervous laugh. They glanced around, finding Wendy in the crowd as they silently begged her for help. But even she was left speechless by the completely captivating performance they had just put on. “Why isn’t anyone else dancing?”
Just like that, the cloud was back, raging in like the thunderous torrent it was. With it, came a flood they couldn’t escape from, a flood of worry, fear, and confusion that was so unlike the sunshine knowing had been. And this time, there was no chasing any of it away.
“This… this is what being cool at a cool dance is, right?” they asked, their eyes darting around the room. “This is how it’s supposed to be… Why isn’t it like it’s supposed to be?!”
Their breathing grew short as the walls started coming up all around them. Those walls were deceptively beautiful, sparkling bright as they seemed to suffocate Stevonnie more and more with each passing second. Their heart raced, their hands shook, their mind reeled with dread and dismay and all the while they could still feel so many eyes staring straight at them. The weight of those stares crushed them every bit as the glittering walls closing in on them were, keeping them trapped.
Trapped in a feeling they were desperate to escape from. Trapped in something that should have been so good, gone so wrong. Trapped by something that threatened to tear them apart altogether.
But then–someone suddenly stepped straight through that trap. They’d never seen him before, a young man, stylishly dressed with a calm, confident look on his face as he sized them up. A shiver ran down Stevonnie’s spine when he settled on a smug smile.
“Hey, baby,” he smoothly greeted them.
“Huh?” Stevonnie was surprised, not just by that, but also by all of the other party goers. The shining walls were gone, and now that they were, no one was staring at them any more. No one but the overly-bold boy standing before them.
“Get ready,” he leaned in, far too close for Stevonnie’s liking. “It’s Kevin Time.” He reached for Stevonnie’s hand, but it was slapped away long before he could take it. Not by Stevonnie but by someone else entirely.
“You better take a good, long step back if you know what’s good for you, Kevin,” Wendy scowled as she defensively stepped in front of Stevonnie.
“Wendy!” Stevonnie sighed, relieved to see a friendly face when they needed one most.
“Hey, like I said, I got your back,” Wendy grinned back at them. That smile was short-lived as soon as Kevin spoke up again.
“Well, look who it is,” Kevin offered Wendy an icy smirk. “I guess you’re really not over me after all, Wendy. Not that I blame you though; I’d get jealous too if I saw me flirting with another girl.”
“Doing what with another who now?” Stevonnie spoke up, completely confused.
“Ugh, get real, Kevin,” Wendy rolled her eyes. “ I broke up with you , remember? Then again, maybe you don’t. You were too busy swooning over your own reflection when I dumped you.”
“Whatever,” Kevin scoffed. “Why don’t you just step aside and let me and this cutie dance?”
“They’re not interested.”
“Why don’t you let her decide that for herself?”
“Oh, well, uh…” Stevonnie flinched as both of them looked their way. “She’s right… I-I’m really not interested…”
“See? Told you,” Wendy shot Kevin a triumphant smirk. Stevonnie was more than happy to let her lead them away from this uncomfortable conversation, but not before she sent one final warning Kevin’s way. “Oh, and if I catch you messing with them again tonight, then there won’t be any teeth left in that stupid smile of yours. Just keep that in mind, ‘baby’.”
Neither of them wasted another word on him as they walked off, out of the party altogether. Just beyond the wall outside, the twins anxiously awaited to hear from Stevonnie. Especially after watching them nearly fall to pieces earlier, unable to help, no matter how much they might have wanted to.
“Are you guys ok?” Dipper asked, concerned. “What happened in there?”
“I… I don’t know!” Stevonnie frantically admitted. “E-everyone was just… staring at me and… and I didn’t know what to do or what to say! I… we just froze up and panicked and… and…” They let out a groan as they buried their face in their hands. “This is way harder than I thought it would be…”
“Did it have anything to do with that weird guy who came up to you?” Mabel asked. “What did he want anyway?”
“Ugh, that was Kevin,” Wendy crossed her arms. “We dated for like, a week, a while back. But I dumped him as soon as I realized how much of a self-absorbed sleazebag he is. Trust me, Stevonnie, he’s definitely not someone you want to hang around.”
“I’ll take your word for it…” Stevonnie quietly agreed. Truth be told, Kevin was just about the last thing on their mind right now though. As for what was…
They wanted to be together, to experience this together. But… how could they, when every step they took felt so uncertain, so unsteady? How could they, with all of the fear and doubt they were feeling was waging a war against the hope and happiness they wanted to feel?
How could they stay together when everything around them, everything inside of them seemed so set on tearing them apart?
Their own thoughts seemed so loud compared to everything else that they barely even heard what Wendy asked them as she set a hand on their shoulder. “What?” Stevonnie blinked, struggling to focus on much of anything.
“I asked you if you’re sure you wanna go back in there,” Wendy repeated, frowning. “Because to be honest… you’re not looking like you’re doing so hot…”
Stevonnie shook their head, straightening their posture as they put on as brave of a face as they possibly could. “No, we’re… I’m fine,” they said, trying to convince themselves more than anything else. “It’s like I keep saying: I-I’ve got this…”
While Dipper and Wendy exchanged a worried glance, Mabel wholeheartedly believed them. “Yeah, you do!” she cheered. “Go Team Stevonnie!”
Stevonnie allowed themselves a much-needed laugh at this, even if it wasn’t much of one. Still, it was finally enough to sway Wendy into escorting them back into the party. Even if they weren’t entirely sure they wanted to go back at all. “Just take things at your own pace this time,” Wendy said, already leading the way back inside.
“And don’t be afraid to be yourself!” Mabel chimed in with what she thought was very sound advice.
However, Stevonnie could only echo it halfheartedly. “Be myself…”
If only they knew the first thing about who that self was supposed to be.
Still, Stevonnie stayed the course. They’d already made it this far, so why back out now? They trailed back into the party after Wendy, weaving their way through the crowd with the plan to stick close by her for support. And thankfully, it was support she was ready and willing to give them. “Don’t worry,” she spoke loudly over the blaring bass beats. “I’ll be here for you guys as long as you need-”
“Yo, Wendy!” Lee suddenly hurried over with Tambry and Buck in tow. “You gotta get over here! Thompson’s about to do the worm with his shirt off!”
“Ten bucks says he cuts his stomach on some gravel on the floor and cries,” Tambry challenged Buck.
“You’re on.”
“Ok, ok, just hold on a—whoa!” Wendy didn’t get a chance to convince Stevonnie to come along before her friends grabbed her by the arm and began to whisk her away.
“Come on, Wendy! You’re gonna miss it!” Lee urged as he dragged her off. Stevonnie gasped, trying to follow the teens, but it wasn’t long before they were all lost to the thick crowd of party goers.
“Wendy? Wait!” Stevonnie called, alarmed. Even as tall as they were, they couldn’t spot her through all of the flashing lights and endless noise. To make matters worse, they only ended up even more disoriented when they tripped over the leg of a nearby dancer. Stevonnie stumbled back, almost falling to the ground until a hand caught them just in time to pull them upright. But they felt nothing even remotely close to relief when they realized exactly who their ‘rescuer’ was.
“Well, hey there, baby,” Kevin gave them a sultry smirk. Despite their attempts at reclaiming their hand, he kept a steady grip on it, all while ignoring the fear flashing through their eyes. “Glad to see you finally got away from that buzzkill Wendy. Are you finally ready for our dance?”
“L-like I said,” Stevonnie finally managed to pull away. “I really don’t want-”
“Playing hard to get, huh?” Kevin coyly interrupted. “I like that. Guess you just need some convincing first.”
He sent the fusion a flirtatious wink as he stepped away from them. They didn’t even get a chance to breathe a sigh of relief as they watched him break into a sudden solo dance. Nearby partygoers also paused to watch Kevin’s surefooted, skillful moves, clearly impressed. But not everyone was so taken with the teen’s deceptively sauve facade.
“Ugh, that guy is such a creep!” Dipper complained as he and Mabel watched from the other side of the wall. “Why won’t he just take Stevonnie’s no for an answer?”
“Seriously!” Mabel agreed, scowling. “Somebody really outta teach him a lesson in-” She cut herself off, startling her brother as she suddenly shook him by the shoulders. “Dipper! I just got the best idea ever! We should fuse, go in there, and beat the snot out of that Kevin guy for messing with Stevonnie! It’s the perfect plan!”
For a moment, the most Dipper could do was stare at her, incredulous, until he sarcastically began to agree with her. “You know, Mabel, that’s a great plan, it really is. Except… there’s just one tiny problem with it.”
“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”
“We can’t fuse! We’re not Gems, remember?”
“Oh yeah…” Mabel frowned, disappointed. That disappointment turned to concern, however, as both her and Dipper finally glanced back at the party. Only to realize a certain fused friend of theirs was nowhere to be found. “Hey, where’s Stevonnie?”
Stevonnie had, in fact, taken the first opportunity they saw to get as far away from both Kevin and the crowd as they could. Instead of retreating back outside, this time, they found refuge against a wall in a quieter corner of the warehouse. They leaned against it, their chest heaving for air they could never seem to get enough of. Despite how big the warehouse was, it couldn’t have felt more cramped to Stevonnie as the storm raged on far worse than it ever had before.
They could feel it, somewhere deep inside of them. A tight, tugging feeling that viciously pulled against both of the halves that made them whole. It would only be a matter of time now, before it tore them both apart. But even still, they were desperate to not let it win. To stay together, no matter how much they were struggling, even if it seemed all but impossible now.
“I don’t understand what’s wrong,” Stevonnie shook their head as they stared at the floor. “You have fun dancing, but this dance isn’t fun. You’re supposed to like this. W-why don’t we like this?!”
They let out the sharp breath they’d been holding in as they stood upright once more. With no one to stand beside them, no one to see them through this, all they had to lean on now was themself. As if that even meant anything at all anymore.
“I wish you were here…” they sighed, closing their eyes and hugging themselves in a weak attempt to feel closer. It didn’t work. Instead, they had never felt further apart than they did right now. “If we were together, it would be ok. But… we are together, and it’s not… I… I’m alone… ”
“Not tonight.”
Stevonnie’s eyes flew open at the sound of Kevin’s voice. Sure enough, there he was, leaning in close with his hand pressed against the wall beside them. His nearly-constant smirk was still showing, and the mere sight of it alone was nearly enough to make Stevonnie sicker than they already felt. “Hey baby, why’d you leave me on the dance floor?”
“I-I don’t-” Stevonnie cut themselves off. They forced themselves to be firm this time as they shoved Kevin’s hand away, sternly scowling. “I don’t want to dance anymore.”
“What are you talking about?” Kevin scoffed, running a hand through his hair. “We’re the best thing that’s ever happened to this place! Come back out with me.”
“Why should I?” Stevonnie asked, thoroughly aggravated by this point.
“Because we’re angels walking among garbage people,” Kevin patronized. “We’re perfect for each other.”
“How can you say that?!” Stevonnie sharply exclaimed. “You don’t even know us!”
“Whoa, whoa,” Kevin held his hands up, chuckling. If he didn’t take them seriously before, he certainly showed no signs of starting now. Much to Stevonnie’s steadily rising frustration. “I’m just looking for a dance! Don’t get crazy.”
“No one is crazy! I just don’t like being alone here!”
“Well, if you’re so lonely, then dance with me!”
That’s when it struck them, suddenly and all at once. They weren’t the problem here, they never had been. It was everything else around them, all of the expectations, the assumptions, the eyes , all staring at them, waiting for something to judge. All night long, Stevonnie had let those things push and pull them around. They’d let everyone else decide what their experience was going to be. And as a result, that experience had become a bad one instead of the wonderful one it should have been all along.
Well, no more. Because starting right now, the only one Stevonnie was going to let decide what they’d do, how they’d feel, and who they were… was themself.
“Fine,” they shot Kevin a bitter cold glare. “You wanna dance? Let’s go.”
Not only was Kevin surprised that they’d accepted; he was even more caught off guard when they grabbed him by the hand to drag him onto the dance floor. “Oh, and it’s Stevonnie,” they clarified, making sure there would be no mistake about that. Not now or ever again. “I am not your baby.”
Before Kevin could even get another word out, Stevonnie started dancing. Unlike their smooth, graceful moves from before, this time, they decided to let it all out, all at once. All of their fear, frustration, and fury drove their manic movements as they forcefully jumped around, ignoring the music–and their unwanted partner–altogether.
Kevin could only watch them, eyes wide with alarm as his usual confidence started to crumble. “O-ok, bring it back girl.”
But Stevonnie did nothing of the sort. They couldn’t care less about him–or anyone else who might be watching them for that matter, not anymore. Their limbs were flying, kicking and punching the air as they made a statement, all without a single word. It was a simple statement, not meant for anyone else other than them, one that finally, finally answered the question they’d been asking themselves all night.
Who were they supposed to be? That was easy: everything Stevonnie was… was everything Steven and Connie were. Everything they were when they were together… or alone.
And, only once they knew that for sure, they finally decided to let themselves fall apart.
Light engulfed their gemstone first, before it swiftly spread to the rest of their body. They were still dancing as that light swallowed them up and sharply, suddenly split them.
And, just like how they’d first formed, in a flash, Stevonnie was gone.
In their place, Steven and Connie fell hard to the ground. At first, they were both to dazed to say a word or move a muscle. Even the shocked gasp from the surrounding crowd was all but lost on them. What wasn’t, however, was the satisfying sound of the alarmed cry Kevin let out.
“That’s two kids !” he exclaimed, deeply, utterly embarrassed. “I’m out !”
No one was really sad to see him leave as he rushed out of the party altogether. Steven and Connie certainly weren’t as they both began to sit up, exchanging a wide-eyed glance. “W-we’re back…” Steven stiffly said, unsure of where to go from here.
Connie, on the other hand, didn’t say a single word. Instead, she could only laugh as all of the dread and fear they’d both been feeling finally began to flow right out of her. Steven soon found himself joining in as they helped each other to their feet. Sure, everyone was still staring at them, completely stunned, but they could hardly care less about that now. How could they care about anything, really, after the night they’d just had?
Soon enough, music began to fill the silent space between their laughter. From his DJ booth, Sour Cream turned the jams back up as he tossed a handful of glow sticks out into the crowd below. With nothing holding them back anymore, Steven and Connie reveled in that shower of light, their laughter ringing loud and clear as they ran across the dance floor together.
Outside, the twins were almost every bit as dumbfounded as all of the party goers were. But only for a moment. “They’re back!” Mabel exclaimed, excited. “Come on, Dipper! If they can join the party, then so can we !”
“Mabel, wait!” Dipper tried to protest, but it was already far too late for that. Without warning, she grabbed his hand and ran out into the open, dragging him along after her for all the teens to see. Still, no one really seemed to pay them much mind as Mabel joined Steven and Connie’s frantically elated dance while Dipper quietly slipped into the crowd to join Wendy.
“This has seriously been one of the weirdest nights ever,” he said point-blank.
“Tell me about it,” Wendy said as her shock evened out into a smirk. “So, how long is it gonna be before all four of you guys pull off this whole ‘fusion’ thing?”
“W-what?” Dipper asked, flustered. “I-I don’t… I mean, I don’t know about them, but I’m not going to-”
“Don’t stress about it, man,” Wendy couldn’t help but laugh. “I was just kidding. But then again, maybe not. You never really know when it comes to you guys. But for now,” her grin widened as she playfully shoved Dipper out to join the others before she followed suit. “We’re at a party. Might as well act like it.”
It wasn’t long before everyone else began to heed that advice too. Despite the cloud of confusion still hanging over their heads, the kids and the music alike urged them back out onto the dance floor. It really didn’t take much to convince any of the teens to simply shrug it all off, to let everyone enjoy such an exciting evening, no matter who, or what, they were.
Through it all, Steven and Connie stayed close together through the night. Each time their hands touched and they shared a smile, they felt echoes of their fusion, warm and sweet, even now that it was over. Even at their worst moments, Stevonnie had been incredible, something they’d never thought possible before, a dream they’d somehow managed to bring to life together. It was a dream they couldn’t wait to have again; whenever the occasion arose for them to bring Stevonnie back, they’d gladly take it, no matter when or what it might be. After all and despite it all, both Steven and Connie both soundly, proudly knew:
They were one experience that was well worth sharing.
Notes:
Next time... Steven and Mabel get just a little too attached... to each other ;3
Chapter 26: Together Forever
Summary:
After accidentally fusing, Steven and Mabel get a bit carried away as the overly-exciteable Maven.
Notes:
Yessssss Maven is back in action, babes! Honestly though, I rrally liked this chapter in old UF so it was fun to revisit and revise it here. Maven is always a delight to write and reintroducing them was a lot of fun. So without any further ado, let's get started and meet Maven!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
FWJ JEQE NTVDIOW GAGZXUQR VW BZE
RLL IOPPQ FHZC JMNO XB QNY EYX TCI SGN?
“Alright, Steven,” Pearl said with a satisfied smile as she finished folding the last t-shirt. “That should be more than enough clean shirts to last you until we get back.”
“But you guys are only leaving for one night,” Steven frowned at the towering stack of shirts Pearl had prepared for him. “You really think I’ll need that many?”
“Well, you never know-”
“I do,” Garnet interrupted on her way over the warp pad. “He won’t.”
“Don’t worry, Pearl,” Steven assured. “Even if I do run out of shirts, I’ll be fine while you guys are gone. Even better once Connie, Dipper, and Mabel get here…”
“Ooo, Steven!” Amethyst cooed, intrigued. “I know you’re not planning on throwing some kinda wild party without us. ‘Cause if you are, I’d totally rather stick around for that than some lame old mission.”
“You’re still going,” Garnet said, folding her arms. “Party or no party.”
“Aw, man!” Amethyst groaned as she trudged over to the warp pad.
“Sorry, you’ve got to miss out on this one, Amethyst,” Steven said. “Especially since Mabel and I have been planning a ton of super fun stuff for all of us to do.”
“Well, that certainly sounds… exuberant,” Pearl chuckled, though her smile was quick to fall into concern. “Though I have to admit, Steven, sometimes when you and Mabel put your heads together, things tend to get a bit… overenthusiastic. N-not that that’s a bad thing, of course! All I ask is that you both try to keep the mess–particularly any messes involving glitter –here in the temple to a minimum, ok?”
“We’ll do our best!” Steven offered her a solid thumbs-up. “Now, get going already, you guys!” He all but pushed Pearl over so she could join the rest of the team on the warp pad. “The sooner you’re gone, the sooner the party can get started!”
“Sheesh, cool it,” Amethyst smirked. “We’re leavin’ so we won’t ‘cramp your style’ in front of all your friends.”
“Have fun,” Garnet advised. “But don’t have too much fun. That goes for both of you.”
Steven raised an eyebrow, confused by the strange, sudden seriousness behind this warning. “Both of who?”
“You’ll figure it out soon enough,” Garnet paused to shift her shades. “Or at least I hope you will.”
“Can we just go already?” Amethyst huffed. “You guys are acting like we’re gonna be gone for years .”
“Yes, we really should be on our way,” Pearl agreed. Still, she offered Steven one final fond wave just shy of warping off. “Goodbye, Steven! We’ll see you tomorrow!”
“See you!” Steven called after them. His smile hardly disappeared once his guardians were gone. If anything, it only grew as he eagerly counted aloud to himself, “Three, two, one-”
“It’s PARTY TIME!” Mabel announced, bursting through the front door. With Waddles in one arm and a bag stuffed with party supplies in the other, she was more than ready for the festivities to come. Dipper and Connie were a little less so, but still, they appreciated Mabel’s zeal as they filed in soon after her.
“Right on time!” Steven hurried over to welcome them. He dropped his voice low, putting on a playfully conspicuous air as he glanced around the temple. “You brought… the stuff , right, ‘Ms. Pines’?”
Mabel smirked mischievously as she pulled a large, gleaming bottle of glitter out of her bag. “Frankly, ‘Mr. Universe’, I’m offended that you even had to ask.”
Stars filled Steven’s eyes at the sight of the shiny jar. “You know, Pearl told me she doesn’t want us to make a mess with the glitter this time, but… Pearl’s not here .”
Mabel was the first to fall into a giggling fit at this, and Steven wasn’t far behind her. While Dipper simply rolled his eyes at their antics, Connie couldn’t help but snort out a soft chuckle along with them. “Wow, Steven. That’s so rebellious of you.”
“Well, you know,” Steven proudly perched his hands on his hips. “Rebellion is my middle name.”
“Really?” Mabel asked, completely believing him.
“...Nah.”
“So,” Dipper spoke up. “You two have been hyping up this whole ‘party’ of yours for days now. Are you finally gonna tell us what all you have planned for it?”
“What don’t we have planned?!” Mabel exclaimed as she pulled out an extremely colorful list. “Me and Steven have thought up enough stuff to make the next 24 hours the most exciting anyone’s ever seen!”
“We’ll watch movies, play video games, play flashlight tag,” Steven used his fingers to help count his own list. “Maybe we’ll even go hang out in my mom’s room again since the Gems aren’t around to tell us that we can’t!”
“You’re really doubling down on that whole rebellion thing, huh?” Connie asked, impressed.
“That’s right,” Steven confidently agreed. “I’m doubling down on rebellion… while dialing up the fun!”
“We’ll dial it aaaaaall the way up!” Mabel added, pumping her fists. “This party is gonna be the party to end all parties! You know why?”
Dipper flinched, surprised, when his sister pointed at him for an answer. “Um, because there won’t be anything trying to kill us this time?”
“No! It’s ‘cause it's a ‘Mabel-and-Steven Party!’” Mabel happily slung an arm over Steven’s shoulder. “And nobody, I mean nobody, knows how to have a good time like the two of us do.”
“Yeah!” Steven cheered. To prove their point, they both tossed a handful of glitter high into the air. They eagerly basked in the colorful rain that followed, until they were both drenched in it, sparkling from head to toe. All while ignoring the equally shimmering pile of glitter left behind on the floor beneath them.
“Well, there’s no arguing that nobody is as good as glitter-bombing themselves as you two,” Dipper deadpanned, grinning.
Meanwhile, Connie couldn’t help but let out another laugh. Even if the party hadn’t even started in earnest yet, Steven and Mabel were already providing more than enough entertainment. “So where’s those snacks you guys were talking about anyway?” Connie asked, looking to the kitchen. “I’d like to have a few, preferably without any glitter–even if it is the edible kind.”
“It’s not,” Mabel coughed a bit of glitter up.
“Oh, yeah, the snacks!” Steven looked to the twins expectantly. “You guys did bring them, right?”
They exchanged a glance, one that ended with Mabel sheepishly looking away from the others. “Seriously, Mabel?” Dipper asked her. “I told you not to forget them like, 20 times before we left the shack.”
“I know…” Mabel heaved a defeated sigh. “But I was just so excited about the party, I could barely think straight!”
“Same here!” Steven admitted. “In fact, you could say I’ve been thinking… bendy- ”
“Like a balloon animal!” Mabel quickly chimed in.
“Exactly! Mabel, you know me so well.”
“About as well as I know myself. Which is, ya know, pretty dang good.”
While Dipper didn’t bother hiding how exasperated he was by them both, Connie simply shook her head, fondly smiling. “What are we ever gonna do with you two?”
“Love us ‘cause we’re great ,” Mabel suggested with a coy wink.
“I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do,” Dipper turned to head for the door. “I’m gonna go get those snacks. Come on, Mabel.”
“Oh, you know, I would come, but…” She plopped down onto the couch, in the space between where Lion and Waddles were peacefully snoozing. “I just got comfy. Sorry, bro-bro, but I’m a no-go.”
“Figures,” Dipper scoffed, annoyed.
“ I’ll go with you, Dipper,” Connie volunteered. “If we hurry, maybe we can get back before the entire temple is coated in a thick layer of glitter.”
“I doubt it,” Dipper managed a small smirk. “But we can always try. Just don’t get too carried away with all that ‘fun’ you guys have planned while we’re gone, ok?”
“No promises…” Steven exchanged a sly wink with Mabel.
While Dipper wasn’t anywhere near convinced they’d be able to hold the fort down on their own, he ultimately gave up when Connie lightly skimmed his arm, urging him along. Almost as soon as they were gone, Steven and Mabel turned to each other, barely able to hold their boundless excitement back.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking,” Steven began, his tone dead serious, despite his smile.
“Steven, if you know me, then you know I am,” Mabel hopped off the couch and hurried over to him. Steven joined her as they grabbed each other’s hands and loudly, happily proclaimed:
“Let’s get this party started!”
They didn’t waste another minute either. Even though Dipper and Connie were gone, Steven and Mabel got to work, tossing what little was left of the glitter around the temple, with streamers and confetti following soon after. Mabel fitted party hats onto Lion and Waddles while Steven tuned the radio to a lively pop song, filling the temple with music.
And with that music, it wasn’t long before the first–and only–dance of the day was underway.
Steven started it, shuffling his way across the house to the song’s bright beat. Mabel burst out laughing as she watched him slide to the floor, only to end up falling flat onto his face. She helped him back up, but their hands didn’t part after she did. Instead, he took her other hand, pulling her along for a fast, free-spirited swing, one that she was more than ready to follow him along on.
Their spinning only continued from there. Breathless laughter bubbled over both of them, all but drowning out the music entirely. Still, they twirled together, happy and heedless of how dizzy they’d be when they were done. After all, how could they imagine ever stopping now, when they were having so much fun ?
Eventually, their laughter ran dry, but their smiles certainly didn’t. Steven’s was already ear-to-ear, but then it somehow deepened, turned a touch warmer, a touch more sincere. A touch more adoring in a way that made Mabel’s eyes widen and her heart race. In fact, she was so distracted by it that she didn’t even feel her heel catch the edge of a floorboard.
She didn’t even realize she was falling at all until she began to pull him down along with her.
He didn’t even realize there was light pouring from his gem until she landed right on top of his heart.
They didn’t even realize what was bringing them together until there was nothing left to keep them apart.
For a moment, they lay where they fell, a blissful smile spread wide across their face. That smile soon faded only seconds after they opened their eyes–
All four of them.
They could feel them. Two eyes where they should have been… and two more resting just above them. All four blinked in tandem with each other as they tried to adjust to just how alarmingly wide their field of vision suddenly was. Their mouth hung open as they took it all in–the fact that they could see from the very top of the ceiling to the very base of the floor. But even as bizarre as that was, it was only the beginning of what they were about to discover.
“Four eyes…” they finally, softly spoke. Their voice, much like their vision, was off . Not in a bad way, but an entirely unfamiliar one. “Like literally , I have four eyes! Without glasses or anything!” They snorted out a laugh as they slowly sat up. “I hope I wouldn’t need any glasses now that I can see this good! Speaking of, what’s the deal with my voice? I mean, it sounds good , but it doesn’t really sound like, uh… you? No, I mean, me … Wait, who? Uh… What are we talking about again?”
They paused, scratching their head in confusion. Only to find their hair—darker, curlier, and so much more than they remembered there being. “Whoa…” they ran a hand through it, all four eyes wide. “So poofy… and so pretty !” They gasped, grabbing handfuls of their long, thick locks so they could get a better look. Their hair, just like the rest of them, was doused with glitter–which was honestly the least surprising thing about any of this.
“What is all… this…?” They trailed off as they properly looked down at themselves for the first time. What they found told them all they needed to know. A shorter than usual sweater, a purple jean skirt, braces gleaming on their teeth, long white socks with a familiar pair of flip flops on top, and–
A rosy pink gemstone at the center of their now- shared stomach.
“Oh. My. Gosh.” All four of their eyes were huge as they stared down at that stone and realized exactly what had happened here. As they realized exactly what they had become. Their awe over that realization only lasted a moment… before it turned into nothing less than equal, overwhelming joy .
“We FUSED!” They squealed, elated, as they hugged themselves so tightly that they fell back onto the floor, frantically kicking their legs. “We fused, we fused, we fused !”
They darted upright, stirring up a cloud of glitter as they beamed over at Lion and Waddles. The pair still sat on the couch, curiously watching the newfound fusion as they worked to gather their bearings. Despite their enthusiasm, their first attempt at standing on their own legs wasn’t much of one. As unsteady as they were, they ended up falling flat onto their face while their abundant hair spilled out all around them. “Oops…” They blew their bangs out of their upper eyes. “Guess I kinda forgot we’re like, super tall now. Let’s give that another go…”
It took a few more tries, but eventually, they managed to pull themselves up onto their feet. Even if they were a bit more wobbly than they would have liked to be. “Ha!” they laughed nonetheless. “Look at us! Standing and all that cool junk! We’re total pros at this whole fusion thing already! Now, let’s try walking next!”
They did so, only to end up falling to the floor all over again as soon as they took a single step. They let themselves lay there for a minute, unable to do much else but laugh at themselves, at how they were still so delighted , even if they could barely even walk. Delighted to be something special, something unexpected, something new.
To be not just a fusion, but to be a fusion together .
This was the state Dipper and Connie found them in when they returned to the temple. Connie entered first, holding the door for Dipper as he carried a large box of snacks in. That box quickly ended up falling to the floor when the pair caught sight of the unfamiliar, glitter-covered heap lying laughing on the floor just a few short feet away from them. Of all of the things they’d expected to find upon making their way back up here, this hadn’t been one of them.
The pair exchanged a glance, unsure of what to say or do, much less what to make of what they’d just stumbled upon. In the end, Connie was the first to offer up a small, tentative, “Uh… hi?”
“Oh!” The fusion’s head bolted upright, bringing a spray of sparkles along with it. They were far from alarmed or even startled; if anything, they were excited as they scrambled to pick themselves up off the floor. “Dipper! Connie! I’m so glad you’re back!” they shakily stood, wearing a wide smile all the way up. “Notice anything… different about us?”
They made a point of motioning between their braces and their gem. It was all Dipper and Connie needed to figure out what had happened while they were gone. As bewildering as it all might be. “Oh my gosh,” was all Dipper was able to get out, his eyes wide when it clicked.
“That’s exactly what I said too!” the fusion chuckled.
“We left you two alone for five minutes,” Connie shook her head, baffled. “And you guys managed to fuse ? Just like that?”
“I know , right?” the fusion beamed as they bounced on the balls of their feet. “We were just dancing around, and then bam ! Fusion city, baby! Isn’t it awesome ? Aren’t I awesome?!”
“Um… well,” Connie forced a smile. “You sure are… sparkly?”
“Aw, thanks!” the fusion exclaimed, blushing. “It’s one of my best features–and I should know, I have so many!”
By now, Dipper managed to shake his initial shock off, especially as he watched the fusion perform a bombastic twirl–only to end up toppling to the ground all over again. “You know what?” he said to Connie. “We honestly should have seen this coming. Just like we should have expected that this is exactly what a fusion between Steven and Mabel would be like.”
“Excuse you, Dip-bro,” the fusion sat up, wagging their finger. “I think you mean I’m what a Maven would look like.”
“Maven?” Connie asked, confused.
“Yeah, Maven!” they cheerfully proclaimed. “It’s the super cool fusion name I just came up for myself, just like Stevonnie! The ‘Ma’ part is from Mabel, and the ‘Ven’ part is from Steven. Put ‘em both together and you get…”
They trailed off, motioning to Dipper and Connie to finish for them. They ultimately did, albeit with nowhere near the amount of enthusiasm the fusion themselves would have shown. “Maven?”
“Bingo!” Maven cheerfully clasped their hands together.
“So, um, what’s up with the whole four eye thing?” Dipper asked.
“Aren’t they neat ? And check this out! Now I see you…” Maven smirked as they covered their lower eyes with their hands. “And now I still see you! It’s the kind of crazy cool eye magic only a fusion as special as me could pull off!”
“Only a fusion as special as-” Connie sharply cut herself off. She did her best to ignore the unpleasant pang of something that rushed through her almost every time she looked at Maven. Something she didn’t dare admit out loud, not to Maven, not even to herself. “Um… Maven?” she started again, much more evenly this time.
“Yeeeeesss?” Maven asked, still grinning. As if they’d really stopped since they found out they had fused in the first place.
“You, uh… you two sure seem like you’re having a really good time together,” Connie noted, rubbing her arm.
“Oh, it's more than just good, it’s fantastic !” Maven exclaimed, ecstatic. “You guys can’t even imagine how wonderful this feels–”
“Um, I think I can,” Connie interrupted, frowning.
“Oh, yeah, right, right,” Maven said almost dismissively. “But this ? This feels… it's totally different!”
It wasn’t lost on Dipper, at least, the way Connie’s hands curled into tight fists at her sides. It was enough to compel him to ask in her stead, “Different… how, exactly?”
Maven took pause, all four eyes wide as they looked between the pair. They sensed they’d said something wrong here–they just weren’t sure exactly what. “It… just… is!” they concluded with a smile and a shrug. “B-but enough about that. Now that we’re together, you guys know what I wanna do…?”
“Uh… unfuse so we can get on with everything you guys had for the party?” Dipper suggested, hopeful that they would. Even if he already knew they wouldn’t.
“Pfft, forget the party,” Maven scoffed. “ I’m way more fun and exciting than any party could ever be!” They proved their point by taking another twirl, spinning until they fell back onto the floor behind them. It wasn’t long before Lion and Waddles both wandered over to lick the fusion’s face as they let out another loud laugh.
“Are you guys sure you aren’t having too much fun?” Dipper asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Whaaaat?” Maven sat up, incredulous. “Too much fun? Since when is that even a thing? But speaking of fun, I just got the best idea for what we should do next! Oh yeah, what is it? I think you already know…” Their smile spread wide as they hopped up to stand, maintaining their footing this time as they zealously exclaimed. “Let’s take our fabulous fusion show on the road!”
“On the road… You mean into town?” Connie asked, apprehensive.
“Yeah! Where else?” Maven shrugged. “Stevonnie got to show off how awesome they were, so we should too!”
“I… don’t know if that’s such a good idea, you guys,” Dipper said, looking the fusion up and down. Or more specifically, looking at their four very noticeable, very unusual eyes.
“Pfft, of course it is!” Maven assured with a wave of their hand. “I know you guys both love me already, but it’s not fair to keep someone as special as me all to yourselves. So come on!”
Dipper and Connie followed from a safe distance as Maven bounded over to the door. They boldly threw it open, basking in the first rays of the sun that fell upon their freshly-fused form. “Great ready, world, for your first taste of Mav-ah!”
For as ready as Maven was for the world, they weren’t quite ready to tackle stairs. They went tumbling down the porch steps, landing in a shrub at the bottom of them. Dipper and Connie ran out of the house to check on them, only for the fusion to blithely confirm, “I’m ok!”
“Oh boy,” Dipper heaved a tired sigh. “Why do I get the feeling today is going to be a really long day?”
Connie could only frown as she watched Maven regain their footing, wrapping themselves in a tight, triumphant embrace. The sort of embrace, the sort of feelings Stevonnie had never really gotten to share. “Tell me about it…”
Maven quickly decided to start their so-called ‘Fusion Road Show’ down at the Mystery Shack. They practically dragged Dipper and Connie along after them, enthusiastically rambling about anything and everything all the way. Their excited chatter was only ever broken whenever they inevitably ended up tripping over their own two feet. Clumsy as they were, they half-walked, half-rolled down the hill, still keeping a spring in their step and a smile on their face nonetheless.
That smile grew even brighter as they made their next “debut”, bursting into the gift shop as they struck a bombastic pose. “Did somebody say MAVEN ?!”
“Why would anyone say that other than you or either of us?” Dipper asked, shoving his way inside past the fusion.
“Maybe you should have had us come in first to introduce you?” Connie suggested.
“Oooooh, yeah, that would have made for a much better entrance,” Maven agreed, nodding. “Let’s do it again! I’ll make it even more magical next time!”
“Hey, you!” From his spot behind the counter, Stan sent the fusion a surly scowl. Soos, on the other hand, stopped sweeping to stare at Maven, eyes full of wonder and awe. “Tall, loud, and kooky! Close the door and buy somethin’, or I’ll fine you for coming in here with two too many eyes.”
To his surprise, Maven laughed, entirely unbothered by such harsh words. “Ha! Grunkle Pines, you’re always so funny!”
“Huh?” Stan blinked, completely confused. He only got more confused when Maven stepped over to him, amazed by just how much they managed to tower over even the adults in the room.
“Whoa, I’m even taller than you are now, Mr. Stan!” they exclaimed. “I mean, I already knew I was taller than Dipper–not that it’s too hard to be taller than him–” They snorted out a laugh, ignoring the disgruntled glare Dipper sent their way. “And even Connie, but you and Soos too? Who knew fusion came with so many great perks?!”
“Again,” Connie bluntly spoke up. “I did.”
“...Sure, you did,” Maven smirked, waving their hand. They hardly noticed the annoyed huff Connie let out as they turned their back to her and Dipper alike.
Stan was almost every bit as aggravated as he looked to the smaller pair for answers. “Either of you wanna explain what the deal with four-eyes here is?”
They didn’t even get a chance to before Maven cut in with a scandalized gasp. “Why, Grunkle Pines! I can’t believe you don’t even recognize your own… neighbor-niece? Niece-neighbor? Eh, same thing.”
“Um, long story short,” Dipper cut in to clarify. “‘Maven’ here is, um… Mabel and Steven, fused into the same person.”
“Fused?” Stan raised an eyebrow at Maven. They eagerly nodded to confirm it. “You mean that thing the Gems do when they turn into giant broads with a bunch of extra eyes and arms?”
“Yep!” Maven beamed. “And this broad just so happens to have four of those! Eyes, I mean, we only have two arms, but wouldn’t it be so cool if we had four? Oh, by the way, what is a broad anyway?”
“Sheesh,” Stan rolled his eyes. “Well, there’s no doubt about it; fused or not, that’s definitely Mabel and Steven in there. Nobody else is able to give me a migraine like those two, and you did pretty much the second you started talking, so thanks for that.”
“Aw, you’re so welcome!” Maven cheerily, obliviously returned.
“Dudes, this is so cool!” Soos piped up. He hurried over to the fusion, almost as excited as they were as he pulled a sloppily-drawn sketch out of his pocket. “You’re like, exactly what I pictured a Steven-Mabel fusion would look like! See?”
“Oh wow!” Maven gaped at the drawing, impressed. “It really does look just like us!”
“Soos, why did you draw a picture of Steven and Mabel fused?” Dipper asked, puzzled.
“...No reason,” Soos said as he swiftly stuffed the drawing into a thick folder labeled “fusions”.
“So, about this whole ‘fusion’ thing…” Stan skeptically sized Maven up. “You two aren’t doing anything… weird in there, are you?”
“Weird?” Maven innocently tilted their head. “Like what?”
“Like holding hands, or hugging, or ki–”
“O-ok, that’s enough of that!” Connie quickly cut in, flustered. She made a point of shoving Maven over to the door, if only to keep this incredibly awkward conversation going even further than it already had. “Maven, you said you wanted to head into town, right?”
“Oh, I did say that!” Maven straightened, making the rest of the way to the door by themself. “You know, I’m already planning a personal ‘Meet-n-Greet with Maven’ with everyone in Gravity Falls! That’ll be great! We’ll have to go super fast if we want to say hi to everyone , but if there’s anyone who can get it done, it’s us since we’re sooo magical and marvelous and Maveny and-”
“Alright, we get it,” Dipper interrupted. He barely bothered to hide how exasperated he already was by them, by all of this. At least Connie made a little more of an effort to try. “You guys are excited-”
“Ah ah ah, Dip-bro,” Maven advised. “You gotta come up with another M-word like I did so it’ll match.”
“...Here’s one,” Dipper finally gave them the last shove out the door. “ Move .”
Maven did just that, practically skipping out of the shack so they could keep their Road Show going. Only after they were gone did Stan finally allow himself a sigh of relief. “Woo, glad they left when they did. I was almost worried I was gonna have to tell ‘em about the birds and the bees.”
“You can always tell me about bees and birds, Mr. Pines,” Soos offered, oblivious. “Maybe I oughta add them to the picture I drew of our fusion!” He pulled another sketch out of his fusion folder–one that was much harder to look at than Maven’s had been. “I call him ‘Stoos’!”
“Soos, put that thing away,” Stan cringed away from the picture. “My eyes are burning just looking at it.”
“Oh, don’t worry, the next version will be even better ,” Soos assured. “I could even give him four eyes, just like Maven has!”
“Yeah, you do that. I’ll just be over here,” Stan deadpanned as he swiftly headed for the den. “Waaaay over here…”
Unsurprisingly, the trip into town wasn’t much different from the trip to the shack. Maven carried a lively conversation–one that was mostly between themself and themself alone.
“So, I think I’m finally getting the hang of this whole ‘walking without falling’ thing,” they rambled on to Dipper and Connie as they trailed after them. “There’s really nothing to it once you–ow!” They ran straight into a pole they’d been too distracted to notice. “Hey now! Who put you there, you sneaky little pole? Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, that’s right: walking!”
“Yeesh,” Dipper watched, incredulous, as Maven enthusiastically greeted every last passerby to pass them by. “They’re somehow even more obnoxiously friendly when they’re together than they are when they’re apart.”
Connie was only able to stifle a snicker when Maven glanced over their shoulder, grinning wryly. “I heard that, Dipper! And you know what I think? I think you’re just a little bit jealous .”
“Jealous?”
“Yeah, ‘cause now you’re the only one of us who hasn’t had a chance to fuse yet!”
Dipper winced, suddenly uncomfortable. “Uh, and why would I want to do that?”
“Why wouldn’t you want to?” Maven laughed. “Everything about it is so… so… amazetastic! See what I did there? I fused amazing and fantastic together to make a whole new word, just like Steven and Mabel fused to make me! A fusion, making a fusion! You can’t get much more amazetastic than that.”
Proud of their achievement in wordplay, Maven skipped on ahead. Their Road Show continued, as they cheerfully said hello and warmly introduced themselves to everyone they met. Connie couldn’t help but notice just how at ease they were; if anything, they were in their element when they were showing off how special they were. And indeed, they were special, every bit as much as they were bright, buoyant, and brimming with charisma and charm.
Everything a certain other fusion wasn’t .
“How do they do it…?” Connie softly wondered, more to herself than to Dipper. “They make it look so… easy .”
“They make what look easy?” Dipper asked.
“Being fused,” Connie frowned. “When Steven and I were Stevonnie, it only felt that great at first, when it was just us, when we didn’t have anything else to worry about. And even at our best, we were nothing like… well, that .” She nodded over at Maven, who was in the middle of heartily shaking a bewildered Mr. Smiley’s hand.
“Well, you know Steven and Mabel,” Dipper said, shrugging. “They’re just about the two biggest social butterflies to ever exist.”
“It’s more than that,” Connie sighed. “They’re so… comfortable and confident , in all of the ways Stevonnie hadn’t been. How can they pull that off… when we–when I couldn’t…?”
She loosely wrapped her arms around herself, doing all she could to avoid even looking at Maven. In fact, she only glanced up when she felt a hand come to rest on her shoulder. Dipper looked at her intently, his expression so genuinely concerned and sympathetic that it nearly made her heart skip a beat. “Are you ok?” he asked. “Because you sure don’t seem like you are.”
Connie tensed, ignoring the warmth blooming in her cheeks as she awkwardly stammered, “I… I’m, uh…”
“We could always ask them to stop and unfuse,” Dipper went on, completely serious. “I’m sure they would if they knew how you’re-”
“N-no, no,” Connie shook her head to clear it. “I’ll make it. And besides,” she managed a small smile as her sights settled on his hand, still sitting upon her shoulder. “At least I don’t have to put up with this–with them on my own.”
Dipper nodded, smiling himself as he pulled his hand away, even if Connie silently wished he didn’t. The moment was already over though, even more so when Maven’s excited squeal filled the air. “Candy! Grenda!” they ran a bit further down the street to meet the pair. “Hi! It’s so good to see you guys!”
“Who are you, mysterious, sparkly stranger?” Candy asked, dazzled.
“And where did you get that adorable sweater?” Grenda added, just as wonderstruck.
“Both great questions, that both have the same answer,” Maven grinned, rocking back and forth on their feet. “You see, I’m what happens when you take a Steven and a Mabel, and you fuse ‘em together into an awesomely magical, always lovable Maven!”
“I’m not so sure ‘lovable’ is the word I’d use to describe them…” Dipper joked to Connie, aside.
Candy and Grenda, on the other hand, were completely taken with the fusion. “Whaaaaat?!” they both exclaimed, stunned.
“Crazy, I know, but it’s true!” Maven exclaimed. “Don’t just take my word for it: Dipper and Connie were there and they saw it all with their own eyes.”
“Um, no, we didn’t?” Connie corrected. “We showed up just after you guys fused, remember.”
“Oh, right,” Maven shrugged. “Eh, close enough.”
“You two look incredible together!” Candy told Maven as soon as her initial shock was gone.
“I know, right?” Maven proudly grinned. “I’m like, the total package. Beauty, brawn, and… some other third thing!”
“Brains?” Connie ventured.
“Ew, no!” Maven stuck their tongue out. “We don’t have brains all over us! That’d be gross !”
“Oh my gosh, you guys, oh my gosh!” Grenda cut in with a huge gasp. “You two fusing is just like what me and Candy do when we turn into Grendy !”
“No way! You guys can fuse?” Maven asked. They completely believed them, even if Dipper and Connie weren’t convinced in the slightest. Even so, Candy and Grenda were more than happy to demonstrate.
Candy climbed up onto Grenda’s shoulders, a sturdy perch that allowed their ‘fusion’ to take shape. Even if that fusion was still quite a bit shorter than the real fusion among them. Nonetheless, Maven was duly impressed.
“Wow!” they exclaimed, stars in all four of their eyes. “And I thought I looked cool! You guys make such a beautiful fusion! It’s so nice to meet you, ‘Grendy’.” They giggled as they shook Candy’s hand.
“Nice to meet you too, Maven,” Candy and Grenda tried to say in unison. Only to end up clashing over each word to the point they were barely even understandable. Still, they laughed, and so did Maven; even Connie and Dipper couldn’t help but crack a set of smiles over something so silly. The fun was short-lived, however, when a sharp, haughty sneer cut through it all.
“Hey, Candy!” Pacifica called as she sauntered by. “How’d you manage to hitch a piggyback ride from a real pig?”
She let out a smug snicker, hardly noticing or caring when it ended up tearing “Grendy” apart. Candy frowned, fretful, as she got off of Grenda’s shoulders. Both of them were far too embarrassed to say much of anything as they sadly walked away. But that didn’t mean someone else couldn’t in their stead.
“Hey!” Maven snapped before Pacifica could get too far. “That was a really mean thing to say, Pacifica!”
“Oh yeah? What are you gonna-” Pacifica stopped short when she turned around, only to find a tall, sparkly, four eyed stranger angrily staring down at her. “Uh… What the heck are you supposed to be?”
“ What I am is Steven and Mabel, fused together into the perfect all-in-one package,” Maven introduced themselves, brimming with confidence. “It’s ok to be impressed by how great I am. I would be too, if I wasn’t already, well, me .”
“Are you kidding?” Pacifica scoffed, hands on her hips. “Who would ever be impressed by you ?”
“Oh, lots of people,” Maven began counting them on their fingers. “For starters, these two were pretty starstruck-” They nodded back at Dipper and Connie. “And so were Soos and Grunkle Pines. And I’m sure the Gems will be too once they get back!”
“I don’t see how anyone would be,” Pacifica rolled her eyes. “I mean, just look at you! You look like a teenager, but you’re dressed like you’re five, your hair seriously needs to meet a straightener, and don’t even get me started on that creepy four-eyed stare of yours.”
For once, Maven fell into total silence when they heard such brutally scathing critiques. They stood stiff, all four of their eyes wide, but their expression was otherwise unreadable. Pacifica simply raised an eyebrow at them, expecting them to say something in response. But when they didn’t, Dipper and Connie stepped up to the plate to defend them instead.
“Hey, Pacifica, why don’t you back off ?” Dipper asked, glaring at her relentlessly.
“Seriously, what’s your problem?” Connie added just as sharply. “Maven didn’t do a thing to you, so leave them alone!”
“Hey, it’s not my fault that something weird happens whenever you are around,” Pacifica turned her nose up at them. “Honestly, I’m surprised you two haven’t ‘fused’ into the world’s biggest nerd yet.”
The pair was more than ready and willing to fire back at her–until Maven put their hands on each of their shoulders as they quietly, calmly stepped past them. They stopped just short of Pacifica, towering tall over her as they stared down at her, all four eyes strangely bright and piercing. “You know, it’s so weird, Pacifica,” they began with a playful pout. “You almost made it sound like you didn’t like me. But that couldn’t be true. Everyone, and I mean everyone , likes me …” By now, their voice had gotten alarmingly low and quiet, their smile sharpening to the point it was downright unnerving when they asked, “Even you, right ?”
The smugness drained straight out of Pacifica’s face, and so did most of the blood as she gaped up at the fusion she found herself standing in the shadow of. She drew in a breath she forgot to let out, terrified to break eye contact with Maven every bit as much as she was terrified to keep it. In the end, she finally forced herself to look away, shrinking a bit as she took an unsteady step back.
“I, uh… I gotta go,” she muttered. Her face was already starting to get red, but it grew even hotter with embarrassment when she tripped over the curb behind her, only barely managing to catch herself before she fell. She only spared one uneasy glance back at Maven before she hurried off, all while the fusion cheerily waved her farewell.
“Bye, Pacifica!” they exclaimed, as if nothing had happened at all. “Let’s hang out again soon! Maybe next time you can help us uncover another big secret conspiracy that isn’t about your family!”
“Um, what was that all about?” Dipper asked, almost as wary as Pacifica had been.
“What was what about?” Maven asked, oblivious.
“What you just did…” Connie said, frowning. “Getting Pacifica to just leave like that. How’d you do that?”
Maven looked between the pair with an utterly blank look on their face. In the end, they simply shrugged, nowhere near as bothered as either of them were. ]The pair exchanged a worried glance, but they didn’t get a chance to voice any of their concerns as Maven eagerly marched on. “Come on, you guys! This Road Show’s nowhere close to slowing down yet!”
“Um… are you sure?” Dipper asked, more for Connie’s sake than his own. “Aren’t you guys getting a little… tired?”
“Tired?” Maven glanced back.
“Of being fused?”
The very question caught Maven off guard. They flinched at first, but they were quick to throw on another carefree smile as they scoffed the notion off. “How could I ever get tired when I’m having so much fusion fun ?”
That was all they needed to say as they abruptly turned and blithely bounded off. As they did, they left Connie and Dipper behind, unable to ask the questions that were starting to weigh heavy on them both: Just how long would it take for their “fusion fun” to finally come to an end?
And what would happen if it never did?
For the rest of the afternoon, Maven kept their Fusion Road Show going strong. They stocked up on snacks at the Big Donut until Sadie asked and Lars demanded them to leave. They paraded through the park, stopping to enthusiastically join in on Old Man McGucket’s daily hamboning session. They hit up Gravity Fries for some fry bits, not noticing when Ronaldo went off on a lengthy conspiracy about their extra set of eyes. And so it went on and on, with the fusion never once waning into exhaustion. Even if Dipper and Connie had already passed that point a long time ago.
By the time they made their way back to the shack, the pair nearly collapsed on each other, bone-tied. Maven, on the other hand, was as exuberant as ever as they settled onto the porch's couch. “Woo! What a swell day!” they said, bouncing up and down in their seat. “I don't think I’ve ever had so much fun in my life! Oh, same here! We should do this every day ! Wouldn’t that be great? Yeah, it would be!”
“No, it wouldn’t ,” Dipper dryly retorted.
Connie stepped in to clarify much more politely, despite her own thinning patience. “Uh, I think what Dipper means is that you guys can be… a little hard to keep up with, especially like… this .”
“Oh, sorry!” Maven chuckled, a bit embarrassed. “I didn’t even realize! I hope you two didn’t feel too left out of my Road Show. Next time, I’ll let you guys be front and center. Oh! Maybe you can even be my opening act! Doesn’t that sound fun?”
Dipper and Connie exchanged a glance, unsure of what to even say to such a self-serving offer. Still, it was hardly a surprising one, considering who it was coming from. “Sure…” Connie said, looking away from the fusion. “A-anyway, it’s getting late. My parents will be expecting me home soon.”
“Aw, already?” Maven asked, pouting. “But we’re all having such a great time! Are you sure you have to go, Connie?”
“Yeah, I really should,” Connie insisted. An idea suddenly struck her, one that she jumped on the second it did. “But… before I go, I was kind of hoping I could say goodbye to Steven and Mabel first…”
“Oh,” Maven leaned forward, before offering a bright, oblivious. “Bye!”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not what she meant,” Dipper pointed out, crossing his arms.
“He’s right,” Connie admitted. “I want you to-” She stopped short when she saw the way all four of Maven’s were curiously, innocently staring at her. It was enough to force her to dance around it, to ask again, all without saying what she really meant. “I… I mean… I want to say goodbye to both of you. Steven and Mabel.”
As direct as she tried to be, Maven still didn’t really get it. Instead, they hopped up from their seat, hurrying over to Connie to pull her into another fond, crushing hug. “Bye, Connie! Have a great night! We’ll see you tomorrow!”
Connie could only sigh as they parted ways. She made no effort to hide her disappointment–she knew Maven wouldn’t even notice it anyway. “Yeah…” she muttered, not even looking back once she turned to leave. “See you… tomorrow.”
In much of the same way, Dipper didn’t wipe the critical scowl in his face when Maven glanced his way, grinning. Their smile soon fell into confusion when he made a point of raising an eyebrow at them. “What?”
“Don’t you think you guys have been at this long enough?” he asked, much more bluntly than Connie had.
“At what? Being fused?” Maven simply laughed, not taking him seriously. It wasn’t surprising–they seemed to take so little seriously to begin with. “Come on, Dip-bro, I’m just getting started! I’ve gotta stick around at least long enough to show the Gems when they get back tomorrow.”
“Wait, so… you’re just gonna stay fused?” Dipper asked, unnerved by the idea. “Overnight?”
“I don’t see why we can’t,” Maven shrugged. “It’ll be just like a slumber party! It’ll be way better than our last one too, as long as Lion doesn’t sneak in to sleep on our face.” They laughed, before letting out an excited gasp as another train of thought took them. “I’ve never slept as a fusion before! I wonder if our dreams will fuse with us! Oh, I sure hope they do! That’d be so cool!”
“You guys, wait-” Dipper tried, but he was too late to stop Maven as they headed inside the shack to get their slumber party underway. He let out a tired sigh as he followed, hoping against hope that the night ahead would go by fast. That he’d get Mabel and Steven back sooner than later.
Unfortunately, the evening went by anything but quickly. Or at least it felt that way to Dipper; for Maven, it seemed to speed by. They made a mess of the kitchen, baking up cookies, cupcakes, and any other sweet treat they could think of. They snuck Lion into the shack under Stan’s notice to create a cozy “cuddle” pile with both of their pink pets. They tried on different pairs of sunglasses–sometimes two at once–over both sets of their eyes. By the time the night was through, they’d already filled several pages of Mabel’s scrapbook with plenty of “Maven Memories”. Memories that they couldn’t wait to make even more of after a good night’s sleep.
As they happily busied themselves getting ready for bed, Dipper sat on his bed, peering over the top of the journal at them. Any hopes he might’ve had that they’d somehow split sometime over the past several hours had been dashed. Maven wasn’t just delighted to be together, they were determined to stay together, no matter what anyone else said or thought.
Still, that didn’t mean Dipper couldn’t try to change their minds– mind anyway.
“Um, Maven?” he spoke up, shutting the journal.
“‘Sup, Dip-bro,” Maven grinned back at him from their spot at the mirror.
He hesitated, unsure of how to proceed. Ultimately, he decided to tread carefully; the last thing he wanted was to set them off the way Pacifica had earlier. The last thing he wanted was to be on the receiving end of their haunting, almost hypnotic stare. “I was just wondering… how long do you guys plan on… being together like this?”
“Hm,” Maven paused to stretch. “‘Till whenever, I guess. I wanna ride this out for as long as it keeps feeling good. And right now? It feels really good.”
“But… you guys know you can’t just stay fused forever… don’t you?”
Now it was Maven’s turn to hesitate. Their steady smile faded and they made a point of averting Dipper’s questioning gaze. “Y-yeah, I know that,” they said, though they sounded noncommittal about it. “But… I don’t see what the big deal is. We’ve only been fused for like, a day. What are you so worried about?”
“I’m worried because this is still totally new territory you guys are in,” Dipper said. “You heard what the Gems said; before Stevonnie, there’s never been any human-Gem fusions before. We still don’t know if there’s any crazy side effects to this sort of thing or not. I just don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”
For a moment, a fleeting moment, Maven almost looked like they were actually listening to him. They almost looked like they were actually thinking beyond themself. But then… “Aw, don’t be silly, Dipper!” they assured, laughing. “We’re not gonna get hurt just from being fused ! We feel fine–better than fine even. We feel perfect !”
No matter how bright their smile was, Dipper refused to share it. Instead, his brow furrowing in a mix of frustration and worry that Maven didn’t give him a chance to speak to before they said, “B-but hey! If it makes you feel any better, we’ll, uh… we’ll unfuse, after the Gems get back tomorrow.”
“Really?” Dipper asked, not convinced in the slightest. “You really mean that?”
Maven forced a smile, hiding their hands behind their back, just out of sight. They crossed their fingers, biting back guilt as they said, “I-I promise.”
Fortunately for them, this was just enough to satisfy Dipper, at least for now. “Well, that’s good,” he let out a relieved sigh as he sat the journal on the bedside table. “I’m sure you guys are probably about ready for a break from each other anyway, right?”
Maven nodded absently. They plopped down onto Mabel’s bed, only to take pause at the way their long legs dangled over its edge. “Aw, the bed’s too short!”
“You’re like, six feet tall now,” Dipper said, finally managing a small smile himself. “Did you really think it wouldn’t be? Anyway,” he clicked the nearby lamp off just shy of saying, “Good night.”
“Good night…” Maven’s smile fully fell as they curled up into a ball on the tiny bed. The two halves that made them whole clung tightly onto each other, now more than ever, dreading the moment tomorrow when they’d have to let go.
But maybe, they thought, drenched in darkness and desperation alike, they wouldn’t have to after all.
The next morning, Maven rose with the sun. And they made sure Dipper did too.
“Dipper, wake up!” they shouted, vigorously shaking him. “Wake up! Wake up!”
Dipper groaned, still groggy despite this rude awakening. “Ok, ok, I’m up-”
“Get up already!” Maven practically yanked him out of bed. “We gotta hurry! The Gems will be back from their mission any minute now! I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces when they see me; they’re gonna go nuts !”
“No more nuts than you already are,” Dipper grumpily muttered as he slipped his hat and vest on.
“Come on! We’ve gotta go !” Maven grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the attic, down the stairs, and out of the shack entirely. They dashed up the hill to the temple, not wanting to miss the moment the Gems arrived. They made it just in time too, bursting into the house just as the warp pad lit up to signal their return.
“Steven!” Pearl called. “We’re back and we-” She stopped short–all three of the Gems did, when they realized Steven was nowhere to be found. Instead a sparkle-covered, sweater-clad, four-eyed stranger stood before the warp pad with a smile as bright as the sun itself.
“Hi, guy!” Maven greeted as that smile turned a touch cheeky.
“Uh… who the heck are you?” Amethyst asked, confused.
Maven drew in a breath to answer, but they didn’t get a chance to before Dipper finally arrived, utterly breathless from chasing them all the way up here. “O-ok,” he leaned against the door for support. “I made it. What’d I miss?”
“Pretty much everything ,” Maven smirked back at him. “Try to keep up next time, Dip-bro.”
“Dipper,” Pearl spoke up. “Do you know this… person?”
“Uh, yeah. They’re-”
“Shh,” Maven quickly cut him off. “I want them to guess!”
Despite their hopes to drag this out, it didn’t take the Gems long to figure their identity out. All it really took was one look at the braces on their teeth and the gem on their stomach for Amethyst to let out a shocked gasp. “No way! Steven? And Mabel?”
“Maven,” Garnet corrected her.
“Ding! Ding! Ding!” Maven grabbed a handful of confetti from yesterday and tossed it into the air. “You got it!”
“Hold on now,” Pearl cut in, brushing the confetti off of her shoulder. “You mean to say that you’re Steven and Mabel– fused ?”
“Yep!” Maven proudly grinned. “And aren’t we awesome at it! Look! I even have extra eyes like you guys get when you fuse!” The Gems only had the chance to exchange a brief glance before Maven drew in an excited gasp. “Oh! I just thought of something! I’m technically a Gem now too, right? And if I am, then that means maybe we can break that flashy shield out! Oh yeah! Let’s try it! Maven Fusion Weapon Summoning Powers… go!”
They struck a bold pose, arms wide in the hopes that a pink shield would appear over one of them. When it didn’t, they were more than ready to try again. “Go!”
Still nothing. But that hardly stopped Maven from once again shouting, “Go!”
“I don’t think it’s working,” Dipper flatly told them.
“I must be saying the wrong thing,” Maven mused. “It’s not really about saying the right thing, though. It’s more about having… the right feeling . What kind of feeling? I’m not sure yet, but whatever it is, it’s a good one! Oh, sort of like how we feel, all the time? Yeah, a lot like that, actually…” Their smile turned a touch softer, warmer and more earnest than it usually was. But it was swiftly switched out for surprise when they noticed their gemstone suddenly begin to glow.
“They… can’t summon the shield when they’re fused…” Pearl muttered to Garnet, incredulous. “ Can they?”
“It’s not a shield,” Garnet shook her head as she watched an entirely new weapon materialize in Maven’s hand. “It’s a-”
“GRAPPLING SHIELD!” Maven exclaimed, grinning from ear-to-ear. There were no other words to describe such a weapon. With a purple gun and barrel and a small pink shield in the place of its hook, it was peculiar, to say the least. Even so, Maven adored it from the moment they laid eyes on it; it was special, unlike any other weapon they’d ever seen before. But even better than that, it was entirely, unquestionably theirs .
Dipper, on the other hand, wasn’t quite as taken with it. “A grappling shield? What kind of weapon is that supposed to be?”
“This kinda weapon!” Maven took aim and pulled the trigger. The shield burst out of it, tethered by a shimmering rope that gave Maven full control over its trajectory. The Gems were just quick enough to duck out of the way when the shield darted at the, ricocheting off the warp pad. It bounced over to the kitchen, shattering the microwave door before it slung up to the loft, tearing through a pillow and sending feathers flying. By the time Maven finally managed to yank the shield back over to the barrel, it had left quite the mess in its wake. Maven simply let out a small, awkward laugh as they took it all in. “Oops. Guess this thing really packs a punch, huh?”
“Could you two please be more careful?” Pearl asked, distressed. “I know this is new for both of you, but you need to exercise at least some level of self control.”
“Aw, don’t worry, Pearl,” Maven assured, twirling their grappling shield. “I’ve got it completely under con-” They cut themselves off when they accidentally fired their weapon. The shield struck them squarely on the side of the head, sending them falling to the floor. “I-I’m ok!” they assured as their weapon disappeared in a shower of sparkles.
“Pfft, you guys are hilarious together,” Amethyst said, chuckling. “Steven and Mabel should have fused a long time ago. You’re a total riot!”
“You bet I am,” Maven smirked as they stood back up. “I’m just full of laughs, aren’t I, Dipper?”
“Oh, you’re definitely full of something alright,” Dipper said, scowling.
“When did this happen anyway?” Pearl asked Maven. “Did you fuse just now, before we got back?”
“Nope,” Maven shook their head. “It happened right after you guys left. We’ve been keeping this fusion party going ever since.”
“W-what?” Pearl started, aghast. “You’ve been fused since yesterday ? That’s… that’s unheard of, especially for a first-time fusion! A few hours is understandable, but an entire day and night ? There’s no telling what effect that could have on either one of you! You need to unfuse right-”
“Pearl,” Garnet cut in, resting a firm hand on her shoulder. “I’ll handle this.”
Pearl stepped back to let her do exactly that. While Maven had been taken aback by Pearl’s alarm, they quickly fell back into an easy smile when Garnet approached them. “So, Garnet?” they asked with eager anticipation. “What do you think? We’re total experience , aren’t we?”
For a long moment, Garnet said nothing. When she did speak, her gaze never left the fusion as she simply said, “You’re not being careful.”
“Huh?” Maven blinked, confused. “Oh, you mean the whole thing with the grappling shield, right? Like I said, I’m sorry about that, but if get some practice in with it, I’ll be a grappling shield pro in no time-”
“That’s not what I meant,” Garnet shifted her shades. “When Gems fuse, usually they do it to get something done. Fusion allows us to work off of each other’s strengths, to become something ever greater than we on our own.”
“I know!” Maven enthusiastically agreed. “Steven and Mabel are both pretty great on their own, but now that they’re me, we’re even better than we’ve ever been!”
“It makes sense that you’d feel that way,” Garnet said. “It’s exactly how you’re supposed to feel when you're fused. When the bond between your halves is healthy and strong, then so is your fusion. But ,” her tone took a shift for the serious. Even more serious than she already was. “There’s a danger to that feeling–the danger of becoming dependent on it. Of losing yourselves.”
“L-losing ourselves?” Maven echoed, suddenly unnerved.
“It’s what nearly happened to Amethyst and I the last time we formed Sugilite,” Garnet explained. “For some Gems, the longer they remain together, the more their individual personalities begin to fade away into their fusion. The line that stands between them begins to blur, until there’s nothing left to keep them apart. And once that happens, if they stay together for too long, the halves that make them who they are-”
“They disappear,” Dipper gravely finished, figuring it out even before Maven did. Garnet only nodded as an uneasy sort of silence began to hang heavy in the air. Not that Maven let it last long as they forced out a harsh laugh.
“Whaaaaat?” they asked, scoffing. “Come on, you guys, you know us! We’re not gonna ‘lose ourselves’ or anything like that! We’re totally fine! We can stop any time we want to-”
“Oh, you mean like right now?” Dipper asked, pointedly looking up at them. “Like you promised you said you would?”
“Uh…. I…” Maven hesitated, especially when they met the expectant looks the Gems were sending their way. Still, despite those expectations, they still weren’t ready to let go. Not now, not yet.
Not ever .
“I-I can’t!” they exclaimed, all four eyes wide as they desperately searched for an excuse. “B-because… because… We have to wait until Connie gets here first!”
“Why?” Dipper pressed, crossing his arms.
“‘Cause we just do , ok?!” Maven snapped, annoyed. They quickly recoiled, however, when they caught sight of the unimpressed glance Garnet was giving them. “I-I mean-”
“Maven, listen,” she rested a steadying hand on the fusion’s shoulder. “I’m not going to tell you that you have to unfuse. That’s a choice for you to make on your own. I just want you to remember what I said. When the time is right, you’ll know what’s for the best.”
“Uh, y-yeah, I’ll know…” Maven anxiously agreed. But even as they did, they could still feel it. Their halves drawing ever closer, their bond cinching ever tighter. The line between them was indeed beginning to blur, just like Garnet had said.
If only they still had it in them to even care.
When Connie arrived at the shack a few hours later, she wasn’t all too surprised to see that Maven was still around. What she was surprised by was the state they were in after everything Garnet had told them. What she was surprised by was that fusion who seemed so buoyant and bubbly yesterday… was slowly starting to unravel .
And even if that’s what she’d wanted yesterday, she couldn’t deny it was hard to watch now.
“And then she told us we might ‘lose ourselves’,” Maven hotly recounted as they paced around the den. “Which is crazy because who’s more us than us?! So, I told her I’m fine, and I am! I mean, I look like I’m fine, don’t I?”
“Um, yeah,” Connie shrugged, frowning. “But maybe Garnet did have a point. I mean… you guys have to unfuse eventually… right?”
“Uh huh, yeah, ‘eventually’,” Maven flippantly waved a hand. “But I don’t see why that needs to happen right now .”
“So when is it going to happen?” Dipper asked.
“ Eventually ,” Maven sharply answered. “We’ll unfuse eventually , just like I said.”
“And you’re not at all worried?” Dipper pressed, every bit as doubtful as he was concerned. “About losing yourselves, like Garnet said? About your personalities totally disappearing?”
“Of course, I’m not!” Maven huffed, crossing their arms. “They’re both still in here, in me! And that’s where they're gonna stay till… till whenever!”
Dipper and Connie exchanged a glance. The way they fusion had phrased that hadn’t been lost on either of them. “‘They’?” Connie questioned, raising an eyebrow.
Maven flinched, quickly realizing their mistake. “I-I mean we ! We’re both still in here.” They paused, struggling to meet the openly apprehensive look the pair was giving them. “Oh, come on, guys! Quit worrying! Everything’s gonna be just fine, you’ll see!”
“So you keep saying…” Dipper said, sighing. There was a conversation they needed to have here, one that Maven clearly didn’t want any parts of. They weren’t getting anywhere with them, clearly. But maybe, between just the two of them, they might be able to find a solution to this problem, before it was too late. “Hey, Connie? Mind helping me in the kitchen with something really quick?”
“Ok,” Connie nodded, already understanding his intentions. “We’ll be right back,” she told Maven as they hurried just out of their earshot.
“Ok, but don’t take too long, you two!” Maven called after them as they settled into the recliner. “I have even more plans for all sorts of fusion fun today and I want to get started on it as soon as we can!”
And so they sat there and waited. And as they stared, all four eyes wide open, down at their hands they thought .
That strange feeling was back, the same one they’d felt earlier, up at the temple. A newfound sort of tightness, tugging on their heart, gripping their mind, squeezing their entire being without any signs of stopping. It had been there yesterday too, but back then, they’d barely noticed it. Now though? It was only getting worse by the minute, like a storm they couldn’t stop, like a wave rolling in to pull them out to sea.
Like two voices fading into silence. Like two candles burning out. Like two souls, slowly melding together into only one-
Maven gasped, pressing their hands against their head to block out such troubling thoughts. They weren’t losing themselves, they weren’t . They were in control, they had to be. They could stop whenever they wanted to.
The only problem was… they still didn’t want to.
It wasn’t long before they heard it–small, faint snippets of the conversation in the kitchen. Curious, Maven got up and crept over, leaning in to hear what Dipper and Connie could be talking about. To their surprise, they soon realized they were talking about them .
“So you agree this is getting way out of hand, right?” Dipper asked, exhausted.
“Absolutely,” Connie firmly nodded. “They’ve been fused for way too long now! We have to do something about it! But what?”
“Well, the last thing they’re gonna want to do is unfuse,” Dipper pointed out. “They’re obsessed with staying together. It’s like splitting up isn’t even an option for them.”
“It needs to be their only option,” Connie asserted. “It’s for their own good! If they don’t unfuse, then they’ll be gone and we’ll be stuck with ‘Maven’ forever!”
“And what’s so bad about that?!”
Connie and Dipper jumped, surprised when Maven emerged from hiding to confront them. Based on the look on their face alone, they’d heard plenty, and they were far from happy about any of it. “You guys,” Dipper tried to ease them. “We were just-”
“I don’t want to hear it!” Maven sternly cut him off. “You two are just as bad as the Gems. You all think you know what’s best for me, but you don’t ! None of you do! Only I know what’s best and what’s best for me is to stay fused, for as long as I want!’
“But it’s not ,” Connie protested. “Not if it means we all end up losing Steven and Mabel forever. Not if it means you end up losing them.”
“For the last time, I’m not losing them!” Maven stomped their foot down, indignant. Neither Dipper or Connie were sure of what to make of it, of the way all four of Maven’s eyes almost seemed to spark an even brighter shade of pink in their anger. “I’d know if I was, and I’m not !”
“Prove it then,” Connie challenged, her hands in tight fists at her sides. “Unfuse and show us they’re both still here.”
“N-no!” Maven stepped back from them both, distraught. “If I unfuse, then you’ll try to keep me apart, I know you will!”
“We wouldn’t do that,” Dipper tried to reason, but Maven was having none of it.
“Yes, you would! You don’t like me! You never liked me! You only care about them .”
“You are them!” Connie fiercely reminded. “Or are you so far gone that you’ve already forgotten that?!”
“Ugh!” Maven bitterly turned their nose up at both of them. “I don’t need to listen to this.”
They turned on their heel, ready to leave them both behind–until a much smaller set of hands grabbed hold of one of theirs. “Maven, please ,” Dipper implored them. He lacked any of the fury Connie was clinging onto; if anything, he choked up a little when he said, “I can’t– We can’t lose Steven. I can’t lose my sister.”
Maven shuddered as they yanked their hand away from him. The sheer sadness on his face was nearly enough to change their mind altogether. Nearly… but not quite. “You won’t ,” they said. But even they were starting to struggle to believe that.
“It’s too late,” Connie spoke up. The anger slowly drained out of her, and the same sort of sorrow that had already settled over Dipper quickly started to claim her too as she realized, “We already have.”
For a moment, the room, the shack, the entire world seemed to fall into silence. But then… Maven began to laugh .
It wasn’t anything like their usual cheerful laughter. Instead, it was a low, unhinged sort of sound, uneven and utterly joyless as tears filled all four of their eyes. That laughter echoed dangerously, to the point that Dipper and Connie stood ready to guard each other–from exactly what they had no idea. Even so, Maven kept laughing, kept crying, kept fracturing until they finally, quietly admitted the truth.
“You’re right ,” they said, somewhere between a chuckle and a sob. Between delight and devastation. “And you know what? I don’t care .”
With those three words alone, Dipper and Connie felt as though they’d both been shot straight through the heart. And as for Maven, they didn’t even stick around long enough to watch the fallout of any of it. Instead, they swiftly turned, their laughter shifting into an all-out agonized wail as they rushed out of the shack. They didn’t once bother to look back.
It had started raining sometime in the past hour, not that Maven even noticed as their sandals splashed in the mud. Somewhere in the distance, they could hear Dipper and Connie calling after them, but they didn’t dare stop as they disappeared into the darkness of the woods. They didn’t know how long they kept on running, even though their hair was sopping and their sweater was soggy. They kept on running, because they had no choice to do anything else, not now, everything they ever used to be was starting to fade away entirely. They had to escape, to get away from it all. From the others, from their guilt, from their fear–
Maybe even from themselves.
Eventually, their pace slowed to a walk before they finally stopped, hunching over to catch their breath. They felt cold, despite the humid air and warm rain drenching their skin. They felt cold right down to their heart, their soul, their halves–whatever might still be left of them. If there was anything even left at all.
In the wake of a distant clash of thunder, they heard it. Two voices, laughing somewhere in the rain. Their head bolted up as they desperately searched for any sign of them. They soon spotted them, but only just a glimpse. They were there, both of them, still warmly laughing as they weaved between the trees, just out of reach.
Steven and Mabel, still so close, still slipping away from them far too fast.
“W-wait!” Maven shouted after them. They stumbled forward, determined to reach them, to hold onto them and never let them go again. To never lose themselves they way they clearly already had. “Wait, come back!” Maven cried as tears slipped down their cheeks, mingling with the rain soaking them. Still, the pair was so far ahead of them, too far for them to ever hope to catch up with them, to ever hope to get them back. “Wait! Please , I-”
Their foot suddenly struck a rock, sending them crashing to the ground. They fell face-first into the mud near a small stream, and as they sat back up, they could still hear their halves. Laughing at them and their foolishness until they faded back into silence. Until they faded altogether. “Please…” Maven reached a trembling hand out into the empty air. “Come back…”
But they wouldn’t. How could they, when they’d been the one to let them go in the first place?
A sob shook Maven as they wiped a bit of mud from their face. They peered down at the stream, finding their reflection staring back at them in its waters. Outside, they still looked like a perfect mix between Steven and Mabel. Inside… they weren’t so sure if that was true anymore.
“It’s just us…” they whispered, morose. “It’s just me …”
They couldn’t stand the sight of their reflection for a second longer. They pushed themselves away from the stream, taking refuge against a tall tree. As they pulled their knees to their chest, a soft pink bubble formed around them, to shelter them from one storm, even if it did nothing to keep out an entirely different one. The storm raging inside their heart and head, one that they feared might last forever.
And it would… as long as they stayed together.
“H-hey,” they spoke to themselves, their voice small and anxious. “Are… are you still there? …Yeah, I’m still here.” They winced against that awful feeling, against the line violently diminishing, determined to take both of their halves with it. “S-should we…? Yeah, I guess so, but… I don’t want to be alone right now. Neither do I…” They hugged themselves even tighter, hoping for comfort and finding none as they woefully wondered, “What are we gonna do?”
“I think you both know the answer to that.”
Maven glanced up with a gasp to find Garnet standing just outside of their bubble. She was just as drenched as they were, but she hardly seemed to care. “W-what… w-when did you-” Maven stammered, unsure of what to even ask as they let their bubble fall.
Garnet knelt down to their level, not hesitating to pull them into a tight, soothing hug. “Shh,” she gently advised. “Relax. Steady yourselves and breathe.”
Maven did just that, though the breath they took in ultimately came out as yet another ragged sob. They leaned heavily into Garnet’s embrace, crying as they laid everything out, unable to fathom doing anything else. “I-I said… I said I didn’t care if they disappeared, but I do, Garnet, I care so much!” they wailed, overwhelmed with grief. “I-I don’t want to lose them, b-but I don’t… I-I can’t… I can’t unfuse!”
For what seemed like ages, they could only keep on crying, all while Garnet calmly kept a comforting hand on their back. Eventually, she spoke to them, her voice soft and sympathetic as she perched a hand under the fusion’s chin, guiding their gaze up to her. “Maven, you and I both know you can unfuse. Nothing is stopping you… except yourselves. So, tell me why you don’t want to.”
Maven sniffled, wiping their face dry in vain. “Because it feels so good . It’s like, oh, I don’t know, like we’re both at a party where the only guests are us, but that’s ok because we’re both having such a fun time together! It… It’s wonderful . Or at least.. it was .”
“It’s not wrong for you to feel that way,” Garnet assured. “It’s good that you’re both so comfortable and carefree when you’re together. But you have to remember, your feelings aren’t the only ones that matter.”
“...No, I guess they aren’t…” Maven sighed, guilty. “Dipper and Connie were so upset when I told them I wanted to stay fused. I feel bad about that, but… they don’t get it! They don’t understand how much I like being me, being this! Why can’t they just… let me?”
“It’s not that they don’t want you to be you,” Garnet clarified. “It’s that they can still see something that you’ve started to forget.”
“A-and what’s that?”
“For as much as you are a fusion, you’re also two people with entirely separate lives,” Garnet explained. “If you were to remain fused, then those lives would be forever intertwined, following the same parallel path through every moment and experience. For… some Gems,” she subtly looked away. “That’s better than staying apart would be. But Gems aren’t like humans. They don’t have the same kinds of connections–like friends or family–that you two do. And the effect that you two staying together would have on those connections… well, it could spread wider than you could imagine.”
“I… hadn’t really thought about it like that before,” Maven said, frowning. “I guess… I was so focused on me that I blocked everyone else out. B-but I never meant to hurt anyone! I just… I love the feeling of being fused so much! I… I don’t want it to ever end…”
“And it doesn’t have to-”
“But it will !” Maven insisted, adamant. “Everyone’s so worried about Steven and Mabel fading away, but what about me ?! If they unfuse, then… then I’ll disappear…”
“No, you won’t,” Garnet countered, resting her hands on their shoulders. “Maven, you’re now a part of Steven and Mabel every bit as much as they’re a part of you. You’re the symbol of their friendship, their bond. And as long as that bond exists, then so will you, whether they’re fused or not.”
“A-are you sure?” Maven asked, doubtful and hopeful all at once.
Garnet nodded with a knowing smile. “Still, it’s your choice to make. I trust that you’ll make the right one, for everyone.”
The right choice… What was that choice, really? They only had two options, two paths they could possibly take, each equally uncertain. They could stay together like this forever, never to part, no matter what anyone might say. Or… they could split up.
It should have been an easy decision to make, but it wasn’t. What they wanted, what they needed, what everyone else around them wanted and needed… none of it seemed to match up. That feeling still lingered, burrowing deep inside their chest, threatening to take them both down with it. To keep them trapped in a prison they built entirely on their own. To force them to stay fused, whether they wanted to be or not.
It was only as the storm began to fade that Maven realized… they couldn’t let it. They knew exactly what they had to do and when to do it. They knew–they’d known all along–what the right choice really was.
The right choice for everyone–for themselves most of all.
The second it stopped raining, Dipper and Connie hurried out of the shack, determined to find Maven, no matter where they might be. Convincing them to unfuse was the furthest thought from either of the minds; all they really wanted to do was make sure they were ok after such a massive meltdown. And if that meltdown had been any indication, then they certainly weren’t .
“What are we even supposed to say once we find them?” Dipper asked, frantic, as they headed for the woods. “Hey, guys, sorry for complaining about you two being fused earlier. Now do you mind finally unfusing already?’ I’m sure they’d just love to hear that.”
“We’ll think of something,” Connie said, resolved. “Right now, we need to focus on tracking them down. If they’re anything like Stevonnie was, then being that upset and all alone could be… pretty bad.”
“Yikes, you know, the more I hear about fusion, the more it makes me never want to experience it for myself,” Dipper shuddered, anxious. “Let’s just hurry and find them, before it’s too late.”
“Don’t worry, it’s not.”
The pair stopped short just shy of the forest, surprised when Garnet emerged from behind the trees. “Garnet?” Dipper asked, confused. “What are you doing here?”
“Just bringing these two home,” Garnet smiled, glancing over her shoulder. Nothing could describe the rush of relief Dipper and Connie felt when not Maven, but Steven and Mabel stepped out from behind her.
“Uh, hey, you guys,” Steven awkwardly greeted them. “Long time no see, huh?”
“Steven!” Connie rushed forward, pulling him into a tight, happy hug.
“Mabel!” Dipper did the same, holding onto his sister tightly, lest she slip away all over again.
“I-I guess you guys really did miss us, huh?” Mabel let out a half-hearted laugh.
“You have no idea,” Connie couldn’t help but chuckle herself.
Still, for as warm as their reunion was, it didn’t come without a bit of remorse on both sides. Mabel spoke to it first when they all finally parted ways, rubbing her arm as she looked away from the others. “Ugh, look, you guys, we’re really sorry for, you know, going so nuts over this whole fusion thing.”
“Yeah…” Steven scratched the back of his neck. “It’s just… we were having such a great time together. But we were so distracted by that–by ourselves– that we didn’t even realize we were hurting you.”
“Steven, neither of you hurt us,” Connie assured. “We were just so worried about both of you! We didn’t want to lose you and we’re so glad we didn’t.”
“That’s right,” Dipper soundly agreed. “If anyone should be sorry, it should be us! We didn’t mean to set you guys off like that. We should have been more careful when we-”
“ You should have been more careful?” Mabel asked, incredulous. “Bro-bro, we’re the ones who should have been more careful. Did you forget the part where we almost jumped off the deep end into fusion insanity?”
“Yeah, we were pretty out there…” Steven admitted, sighing. “But maybe we can make up for it by finally throwing that party we were supposed to have yesterday?”
“That sounds like a great idea,” Garnet grinned, already leading the way back up to the temple. Dipper and Connie eagerly followed her, but Steven and Mabel hung back a bit. After all, there was still plenty left to say that their fusion hadn’t.
“Steven?”
“Mabel?”
They said each other’s names at the exact same moment. Maybe it was a holdover, a sign that they were still of the same mind after spending so much time fused. Still, they shared a small laugh over it all the same.
“You first,” Steven encouraged, still smiling.
“Well, I just… I wanted to…” Mabel trailed off, ashamed. “I’m sorry for… uh…”
“Holding on too tightly?” Steven finished. “I’m sorry too. I guess we’ll just have to be a little more careful next time we form Maven, huh?”
Mabel started, genuinely surprised to hear this. “N-next time? You… you’d want to be Maven again, even after all that crazy drama?”
“Of course, I would!” Steven exclaimed, beaming. “Being Maven with you was so much fun ! We have to do it again sometime.” His smile softened, turning a touch bashful as he held his hand out to her. Not with the promise of fusing again now , but eventually. With the promise of Maven’s return… and so much more than that.
Mabel wasn’t sure how long she stared at his hand, how long she stared at him . Her eyes were wide, her heart beating just a bit quicker, her face turning just a bit more flush. For all the time they’d spent together this summer so far, it had never felt like it had when they were fused. And it never felt like this either. It was a sensation she’d spent so long searching for, but she’d never truly known.
Until now.
When she finally took his hand, she felt like was flying and falling all at once. It was different than fusion had been, but no less wonderful. If anything, it felt even better when his hand gently squeezed hers. When his smile–a smile meant for her and her alone-widened ever so slightly. When they walked all the way up to the temple–hand in hand and hearts both light.
Maven may not have been there anymore, but in many ways, they still were. They were in Mabel, in Steven, in every smile and every laugh shared between them. They were there, waiting somewhere deep inside them both, until the day they’d finally bring them back again. But for now, they were simply glad to still be together , even if it couldn’t last forever.
Because they were still together, even when they were apart.
Notes:
Next time... Steven and Dipper struggle to connect :3
Chapter 27: Forever Alone
Summary:
GAWWWWD THIS CHAPTER YA'LL. It was already one of my favorites in old UF, but the direction I ended up taking it for new UF? It surprised even me! I honestly love it so much though, the stuff I do here is so thematically important and honestly so special, I'm so very proud of it. But I won't keep you here with my yapping. Enjoy the debut of my special boy Stepper and let's get started!
Notes:
Steven tries to help Dipper unwind by fusing with him. But can Stepper find a way to stay together when both of his halves are so drastically different?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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Lion let out a lazy yawn, perfectly content to lay sprawled out on the floor of the shack’s den. Despite the pair of busy, noisy “stylists” tending to his fluffy pink mane.
“I can’t believe we haven’t done this sooner,” Mabel grinned as she finished clipping another braid in place. “By the time we’re done, Lion’s mane is gonna be the prettiest portal to a secret magical tree that’s ever existed!”
“Yeah!” Steven excitedly agreed. “And he’ll be even prettier after we add some-”
“Glitter!” the pair proclaimed as Mabel held the shiny jar up.
“Aw, this stuff reminds me of Maven,” she said with a fond smile.
“Yeah, we were pretty sparkly,” Steven chucked. “You know, that’s got me thinking. I’ve already fused with you and Connie… but I wonder what it would be like to fuse with-” He stopped short at the sound of footsteps rushing down the nearby steps. “Dipper!” he greeted, smiling as the other boy ran by them. “Hi!”
“Hey, Steven!” Dipper called as he rushed into the kitchen. “I can’t talk right now; I’m super busy.”
“Oh, wow; looks like somebody finally crawled out of his ‘conspiracy cave’ to get some fresh air,” Mabel teased.
“Ha! As if there’s even time for that.” Dipper emerged from the kitchen with an armful’s stash of Pitt Colas. “I only came down here to refuel. I feel like I’m on the verge of uncovering something huge and if I don’t keep going, I might lose it completely!”
“Oo, that sounds exciting,” Steven leaned forward, intrigued. “What are you working on anyway?”
“Steven, don’t ask him that,” Mabel groaned, exasperated. “You’re just gonna set him off on another one of his nerd rants about his boring research.”
“Hey!” Dipper protested. “This research isn’t boring. It’s actually really important! You guys remember what Peridot said at the Kindergarten the other week, right?”
“‘I’m reporting this, you CLODS!’” Mabel exclaimed, throwing her voice to sound more like Peridot’s.
“No,” Dipper shook his head. “ Before that. She said she was there to ‘pick up where we left off’. What does that mean? Who’s ‘we’? Homeworld? Someone else? What was Peridot really doing at the Kindergarten? What was that underground control room for? Why-”
“Ok, ok, we get it!” Mabel interrupted, annoyed. “So there’s a lot of questions we don’t have answers for yet. That’s fine . The Gems have totally got that mystery covered, don’t they, Steven?”
“Um… not really,” Steven admitted. “They’ve been kinda busy with other missions lately; they haven’t had a lot of time to look into the whole Peridot thing.”
“Which is exactly why I’m doing it for them,” Dipper said with a determined grin. “I’ve been studying the journal, looking for anything that might help. Once I find it, I’ll figure out whatever Peridot is up to so we can stop her once and for all. And then, Gems will be so impressed by all my hard work that they’ll have no choice but to take me seriously from now on.”
“Dipper, you don’t need to prove anything to the Gems,” Steven reasoned. “They already take all of us seriously.”
“Steven, we almost froze to death outside of the warp stream just because the Gems didn’t take us seriously, remember?” Dipper dryly asked.
“Oh yeah…” Steven frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. “W-well, hey! You sound like you could really use a break from all that researching. Why don’t you hang out down here with us for a bit?”
“Yeah!” Mabel enthusiastically agreed. “We’re giving Lion a makeover! If you stick around, we’ll even let you put the bow on his tail.”
“As… tempting as that sounds, I think I’ll pass,” Dipper said, wincing when Lion shot him a warning glare. “Besides, I’ve got to get back to work. I’ve already wasted enough time just standing around here talking, and every minute I’m not upstairs is another minute we still don’t know what Peridot’s planning. This is serious stuff, you guys, and if I were you, I’d be taking it every bit as seriously as I am.”
“You know what I’m taking seriously?” Mabel asked as she playfully pressed her hands against Lion’s cheeks. “Lion’s cute face! Isn’t that right, Lion? Isn’t that right?”
Dipper, on the other hand, was nowhere near as charmed. Instead, he simply sighed, shaking his head as he turned to head back upstairs. Still, Steven heard him when he sullenly muttered, “Sometimes I don’t know why I even bother…”
As soon as he was out of earshot, Steven let out a fretful sigh of his own. “I’m kind of worried about Dipper,” he told Mabel. “I know he likes researching stuff, but he sounded stressed about everything and he looked so tired…”
“That’s just how he is when he goes all ‘obsessy’ like this,” Mabel said with an irritated scowl. “He gets all grumpy and turns into a total loner, spending all his time with his dumb books and notes. Every time I try to get him to ease up, he just says, ‘Cut it out, Mabel, I’m busy!’ or ‘Go away and leave me alone!’. Then he usually just ends up crashing after a few all-nighters because he totally wears himself out. Happens every time.”
“Well… maybe we can help him take a break before he wears himself out,” Steven suggested with a hopeful smile.
“Good luck with that,” Mabel scoffed. “I’m telling you, Steven. Anything we might try to get Dipper to loosen up won’t work. He’s one of the most stubborn people I know.”
“But there has to be something we can do,” Steven pressed. “Even if Dipper can be stubborn sometimes, he’s just trying to help us all by looking into what Peridot is up to. We should show him how much we appreciate all his hard work by helping him unwind a bit.”
“I don’t know how you’d even start,” Mabel said, crossing her arms. “It’d take nothing short of a miracle to get Dipper to-”
“Oh my gosh! That’s it!” Steven cut her off with an excited gasp. “I know the perfect way to get him to relax and have a little fun–no, the most fun he’s ever had!”
“Uh… how?” Mabel asked, confused.
Steven’s smile only grew as he looked in the direction Dipper had gone. His idea was a daring one, but if it worked… he had no doubt it would be a wonderful experience for them both. An experience he couldn’t wait to begin as he eagerly said it aloud:
“Because Dipper and I are going to fuse.”
Steven’s plan was a simple one, and despite Mabel’s doubts that it would actually work, she was along for the ride all the same. They made quick work of setting things up outside: snacks and balloons and a CD of tunes they knew even Dipper wouldn’t be able to resist. Really, the hardest part would be luring him away from his precious research in the first place.
Fortunately, they knew the perfect pink cat for the job.
They sent him up to the attic with the orders to slip in as quietly as possible. As engrossed in studying the journal’s blacklit secrets as he was, Dipper didn’t even notice his approach until it was too late. But by then, Lion had already chomped down on one of his many notebooks and was already making off with it.
“Hey!” Dipper hopped off the bed and hurried after him. “Lion! Get back here with my notes!” Of course, Lion was much faster than he was, making it to the bottom of the stairs with a single, graceful leap. As Dipper gave chase, Mabel was left with the perfect opportunity to sneak into the attic and swipe a certain journal, entirely unseen.
She made it back outside via the gift shop, just in time for Lion to come trotting out into the yard with the notebook still in tow. By the time Dipper came angrily running after him, the journal was well-hidden under the porch steps. Without it, there’d be nothing to distract him, nothing to keep him away from the-
“Surprise!”
Dipper stopped short just outside of the door, caught off guard by Steven and Mabel’s happy cheer. To their credit, he was certainly surprised by what awaited him. The shack’s lawn had been brightly decorated with streams, balloons, and other party favors, all alongside a sizable snack table. Aside from that, they’d roped off a wide open area, marked as the ‘Dancing Zone’ thanks to the colorful sign Mabel had made for it. Even so, Dipper still found himself quite confused by all of it.
“Um… what’s all this?”
“It’s a party!” Steven ran up to him, grabbing him by the arm to pull him over. “For you, Dipper!”
“For me?” Dipper echoed, yanking his arm free. “But why?”
“To finally get your head out of all that lame research, that’s why,” Mabel said, crossing her arms.
“What she means is you’ve been working really hard lately,” Steven explained much more earnestly. “If there’s anyone who’s earned the chance to kick back and relax, it’s you!”
“So we rounded up a bunch of decorations, all your favorite snacks, and listen!” Mabel held up a boom box and pressed play to an Icelandic pop tune. “We even found one of your BABBA CDs!”
“So, what do you think?” Steven asked with a wide smile. “Do you like it?”
Dipper hesitated, trying his best not to sound too harsh when he said, “I think… I’m going back inside.”
“What?” Steven exchanged a panicked glance with Mabel. Their plan hadn’t even gotten off the ground yet, and it was already starting to fall through. Still, Steven wouldn’t let it, not yet, not until Dipper had at least a little fun. He dashed past Dipper, wedging himself squarely in the doorframe to block his way back inside. “You can’t leave yet, because… uh… b-because…”
“‘Cause how are you gonna get any research done if you don’t have your journal?” Mabel piped up.
If nothing else, that was more than enough to catch Dipper’s full attention. “What do you mean…?” he asked, warily looking back at his sister.
“Ha!” she let out a triumphant laugh. “We got you! While you were chasing Lion around, I snuck in and stole the journal, and I’ve hidden it somewhere you’ll never ever find it!”
“You what?!” Dipper exclaimed, alarmed. “That’s not funny, Mabel! Give it back!”
“Oh, I’ll give it back,” Mabel began, grinning. “Only after you enjoy this super fun party we made for you.”
As aggravating as it was, Dipper knew he couldn’t say no. Not when he knew nobody was as good as hiding things as Mabel. He could spend all day searching for the journal and still not find it. Which meant that, unfortunately, the quickest way to get it back was… “Ugh, fine ,” he groaned, turning back to the party. “I’ll stay, but only to get you two off my back.”
“That’s the spirit!” Mabel obliviously cheered.
“You don’t have to stay that long,” Steven assured. He took the next part of the plan and ran with it, even as his face began filling with warmth he couldn’t quite place. “How about… just one dance? Then you can head back inside, I promise.”
“A dance?” Dipper froze when he noticed the hand Steven was extended to him. His eyes widened as he realized what Steven was asking him, all without words. Still, he unsteadily managed to ask, “W-with you?”
“Y-yeah,” Steven nodded, his blush only deepening. “Is… is that ok?”
“Steven, I… I don’t really dance,” Dipper shied back a bit, rubbing his arm.
“That’s ok! Connie didn’t either when we-” Steven quickly cut himself off. The last thing he wanted to do was to ruin the next surprise too soon. “Uh, I-I mean… it’s ok,” he continued on a different track. “I can lead, if you want.”
Steven’s hand stayed where it was, and for the longest time, Dipper could only stare at it, at him . It hadn’t even dawned on him that his own face was starting to turn every bit as red, not that it mattered when he had no idea what to say or do. A stern, nagging voice at the back of his mind screamed at him to say no, that this wasn’t right or proper or something he should ever even think about doing–
But then there was his heart, begging him to say yes. And, for once, just this once, he let his heart win out.
Which was why Dipper rested his trembling hand in Steven’s and softly said, “O-ok.” And just like that, they were off.
Mabel barely stifled a cheer as she stood back, letting them take to the makeshift dance floor on their own. Steven chuckled as he led Dipper along before taking both of his hands to pull him into a starting spin. Dipper held on tight, if only because he knew that if he didn’t, he might just let go and end this entirely. Somewhere in the background, BABBA’s “Disco Girl” began playing, but Dipper couldn’t focus on anything other than the way Steven was smiling at him.
Nobody had ever smiled at him like that before. It chased the last of his worries away until his head and heart were both as clear as the bright blue sky above. And as he continued basking in the warmth of that smile, it wasn’t long before he found himself smiling right back.
Steven’s own heart skipped a beat when he finally saw Dipper smiling, when he finally heard him laugh. Really, the plan was the last thing on his mind as they twirled in perfect time together. All he could think about was just how glad he was to share even a bit of joy with Dipper, how lucky he was to be the one to make him so happy. It made him want to keep that happiness going, to ensure that would never end, to find a way to share this moment, this feeling with him forever.
Maybe that feeling couldn’t last forever. But it was more than enough to bring them both together now.
The pale pink light starting to flush from Steven’s gem was lost on them both. Instead, they kept on laughing, blissfully spinning faster and faster until their dance reached its peak. Just as that light overtook them both, Steven swept Dipper off his feet–literally. What happened next, no one saw–the light hid it, and them, from view. And when that light faded–
He was all it left behind.
A blissful smile still hung on his face, but it faded as soon as he opened his eyes. It hit him suddenly, just how… strange everything felt, inside and out. It wasn’t a bad kind of strangeness, but it still rippled through him, like waves on a pond, sparking something new and unknown every single second. His brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of it, only to realize something else entirely–
He was standing there alone .
“W-where did you-” He slapped a hand over his mouth. The voice that came out of it wasn’t his, it wasn’t any that he recognized. But when he tried to speak again, it was all he heard. “W-what’s going on with my… voice…?” He trailed off when he looked down, only to find Mabel staring up at him, her jaw dropped in awe. “Mabel? What’s wrong?” he asked, anxious. Unsure of how to answer, she simply pointed at his arm, her amazed expression unchanging. It took him a moment to get what she meant. “Huh? My arms? What’s-”
He starkly fell silent the second he looked down at his arms. He expected to see just two–but nothing could have prepared him for four .
He screamed before he could stop himself, reeling back in sudden panic. His upper arms gripped both of his lower ones, resting just beneath his proper pair. He tried to yank them off, refusing to believe they were even real at all, but sure enough, they were. He could see them, feel them, move them–like it or not, they were his , every bit as much as his new voice was as he frantically asked, “W-what’s going on?! How did I– Where did these even–Aren’t they cool ?! What? No! They’re weird and unnatural and– long , oh my gosh, so are my legs! Wait a minute-” He drew in a gasp, eyes wide as the realization struck him. Or at least, it struck half of him. “It worked !”
At last, Mabel managed to shake her own speechlessness off to confirm it. “It worked! You actually did it!”
“Did… what?” he asked, completely lost, if only for a second before another smile spread wide across his face. “Yeah, we did! How do we look?”
“Oh, you guys look totally awesome together!” Mabel exclaimed, beaming.
“T-together?” he frowned as he looked down at himself once more. Only as he stared down at his ( four ) arms, half trembling with fear, the other half trembling with excitement did he finally manage to piece what he was. “N-no,” he froze, his voice catching in his throat as terror shot through his chest. “No, we didn’t… We couldn’t have–We did!” Joy suddenly sprung into the place fear had once filled, rushing through him without warning. “We FUSED!”
His upper arms enclosed him in a tight, happy hug, while his lower set hung stiff at his sides. His breathing quickened as panic overtook him all over again, practically going to war with the elation he was also somehow feeling. Together, they left him constantly flipping between delight and distress, unable to speak, unable to move, unable to even think until-
“Uh… hey?” Mabel snapped her fingers up at him. Given how much he towered over her now, she had to stand on her tip-toes and even then she still couldn’t reach his face. “You guys ok in there?”
He shook his head, but that hardly cleared the cocktail of conflicting emotions flooding his shared mind. “Yeah, of course I am! This is great! This… this is wrong . This is really, really wrong! W-we can’t stay like this! We need to split up right now ! No!” He wrapped his arms around himself–the lower set this time–desperate to soothe himself, to calm himself, to keep himself together in any way he could. “It’s ok! You’re fine! We’re fine! Nothing about this is fine! We have the same body, we have the same mind, we’re the same person and we’re-”
“A-and you look so cool!” Mabel suddenly cut in before he could spiral too far out of control. Before he could split mere moments after his very existence began.
“What?” he blinked, caught off guard.
“Here, I’ll show you.” She grabbed one of his lower arms, leading him back toward the shack. Despite his longer legs, he was hardly unsteady on them, at least not as unsteady as Maven and Stevonnie had been when they first tried walking. Even if he was much more unsteady on every other front.
Mabel took him up to the attic, where the floor-length mirror awaited. She gently urged him to stand before it, and despite his misgivings, he did, only to find someone he didn’t recognize–and someone he knew so well–staring back at him all at the same time.
All four of his arms were apparent, but they weren’t the only things he noticed. His face was surprisingly pleasant, his eyes (only two of them, fortunately) bright and captivating in a completely different way than Maven’s had been. His hair, short, dark and curly, peeked out from under a pine tree printed cap. A dark blue vest sat over a pink star shirt, both with new holes and sleeves meant to accommodate his extra arms. The pink gemstone on his stomach, long jeans and a pair of flip flops capped it off, and as he slowly took it all in, he realized something he couldn’t help but admit out loud.
“We… we don’t actually look all that bad…” he said, trying his best to ignore the extra arms, even if he couldn’t. “Yeah, we look great! In fact, we–whoa.”
He cut himself off as he caught sight of something in his reflection. He leaned forward, beginning to push his bangs back to get a better look at his forehead and the peculiar mark upon it. He barely got a glimpse of it, however, before one of his lower hands yanked the one skimming the mark away. “D-don’t look at that! Why not? What is it?”
“Oooh, it must be Dipper’s birthmark,” Mabel said, grinning.
“No way! You have a secret birthmark?” The fusion gaped back at his reflection. Despite his amazement, an embarrassed blush also dusted his cheeks. “N-no! No, I don’t! Can I see it? Please? Pretty please?” He put on as much of a convincing, pleading smile as he could muster. And even if that smile was on his own face, it still proved enough to make him cave. “Alright, fine, just… just don’t laugh, ok? Don’t worry, I won’t.”
And sure enough, he didn’t. If anything, he was amazed by what he saw when he finally brushed his bangs aside to see it. “Oh wow ,” he gasped, stars in his eyes at the sight of the “stars” on his head. “It’s the Big Dipper, just like the constellation! Wait, is this where you got your name from? Uh… well, it’s-”
“Dipper isn’t his real name,” Mabel candidly pointed out. “It’s just a nickname.”
“Would you please stop telling him things?!” he snapped, frustrated, then dumbfounded. “Whaaaaat? I’ve known you this long and I don’t even know your real name?! No, you don’t and you don’t need to know it either. Why not? I promise I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to. That’s not the point! I already let you see the birthmark, there’s no way I’m going to let you know that too.”
“Sheesh, it’s not even like your real name is even that embarrassing, Dipper,” Mabel huffed. “But speaking of names, that reminds me. You don’t have one yet!”
The fusion’s annoyance lifted into confusion as he looked over at her. “Uh… yes, we do?”
“No, I’m not talking about Steven or Dipper, I’m talking about you ,” she elaborated. “Their fusion! Stevonnie and Maven both had super cool combo names, so you need one too!”
“W-why would we need a name if we’re not going to stay–Oh my gosh, you’re right!” he interrupted himself. “I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that yet! Got any good ideas, Mabel?”
“Hm… let’s see…” Mabel thoughtfully perched a hand to her chin. “How about… Stedip?”
“Oh, absolutely not ,” the fusion cringed. “Yeah, that’s not really a great name for a fusion, but might be a great name for something else! Like a boat or a ship or–”
“Oh! I got another one!” Mabel chimed in. “Dipven!”
“What? No,” he scoffed, crossing his upper arms before asking, “Got anything better?”
“Hey, cut me some slack,” Mabel said. “It’s not like it's as easy as tossing Steven and Dipper together and getting-” She stopped short, gasping as she grabbed the fusion’s lower hands. “I got it, for real this time! You’re the one, the only… Stepper !”
“...Stepper?” he echoed, incredulous at first. It wasn’t long before stars showed up in his eyes as he drew in a dazzled breath. “Stepper! I love it! It’s perfect for us! F-for us ?” He looked back at his reflection, intentionally stepping away from it as his blush only deepened. “There is no us–there’s no… this ! Huh? I-I don’t understand…” He frowned at his reflection, struggling to see what the problem was. “Aren’t you having fun?”
Stepper scoffed, forcefully turning away from the mirror so he wouldn’t have to look at himself for one more second. “ Fun ?! We have four arms! I feel like I’m barely even here at all but there’s so much more of me than there’s supposed to be! I can’t focus, I can’t think straight, I can’t do this ! Yes, you can! It just takes a little getting used to! Right, Mabel?”
“Uh huh,” Mabel nodded. “Then again… it took us almost no time at all to get used to being Maven, so… maybe you just need to be a little patient?”
“I don’t want to be patient! I don’t want any of this!” Stepper snapped, half of his hands curled into tight fists. “But… but the plan–Plan? What plan?”
“Um… Well, y’see…” Mabel rubbed the back of her neck. “We wanted to help you–uh, the Dipper half of you–relax and unwind and Steven came up with the idea that maybe you could if you guys, uh… fused?”
For a moment, Stepper was so appalled by this news he was stunned speechless. But it wasn’t long before the storm brewing inside of him loudly raged on. “You wanted this to happen all along?! I-I did, I thought you’d like it–like Mabel and Connie did! Why would I ever enjoy being like… like this !? B-because it’s–No. Like I said before, we need to stop this, we need to unfuse, right now !”
He closed his eyes, trying to tear himself apart by sheer force of will alone. But instead, he remained, desperate to let go and desperate to hold on, all at the same time. “P-please…” his voice broke a bit as he quietly pleaded with himself. “Don’t…”
Mabel stood by, unsure of what to say or do to help this fusion, so unlike the one she’d been a part of. Even Stevonnie, for as anxious as they might’ve been, had been united about staying together. But as for Stepper…
He couldn’t be any further from what a fusion was supposed to be.
“Please…” he said again. He lightly rested his lower hands against his upper arms, trying anything he could to calm himself down. “I know this is a lot for you, but… just give it a chance. W-why should I? This feels so… so weird and confusing and bad –I know.” He took in a slow, steadying breath as he closed his eyes once again. “I can feel all of that too. But… I know how good it can feel.”
“That’s right,” Mabel finally spoke up. “It feels like the best thing that’s ever happened to you! Or at least, that’s how it felt for Maven.”
“And that’s how it felt for Stevonnie too,” Stepper agreed. “And… well…” his small smile turned a touch sweeter as he gave his arm a slight squeeze. “That’s how I want it to feel for us too… But why? Because,” he couldn’t help but warmly laugh. “You deserve it. You deserve to have some fun, to feel so wonderful, so happy . I… I want to be the one who makes you that happy…”
Stepper stiffened, his eyes wide and his face flushing as he honed in on what just came out of his mouth. It should have been the breaking point, enough to split them up, just like he wanted. But it only ended up having the exact opposite effect on him instead. It made him want to hold on to this, even if almost every part of him was screaming that he shouldn’t.
It made him want to hold onto him in all the ways he’d never thought to before.
He fell into a rare sort of silence at this as he stared down at his arms, at himself. Dread still hung heavy over him, but something else was just starting to shine through it. It felt like peace, like comfort, like hope . It wasn’t the kind of unbridled joy half of him was waiting for, but it was still something good. Something that was worth chasing until he finally found it–until they finally found it, together.
“Ok,” Stepper said, forcing himself to accept that choice, however uncertain he might be of it. “We… we can stay like this. Really?! Yeah, b-but only for a little while! After all, I don’t want the same thing that almost happened to Maven happening to me.”
Mabel stuck her tongue out at him, but she was quick to perk up all the same. “Oh, I’m so excited for you guys!” she exclaimed, beaming. “You’re gonna have so much fun together, you’ll see! What do you want to do first? Go into town and show everybody how great you are?”
“Yeah! We should totally–Oh no, there’s no way we are letting anyone else see us like this,” Stepper quickly curbed his own enthusiasm as he shot such an idea down. “But why not? Everyone would think we’re so cool! Oh, yeah, sure and they definitely wouldn’t go running the second they see all four of our arms. Oh, right… almost forgot about that.”
“So if you’re not gonna go out on the town, what are you gonna do?” Mabel asked, disappointed.
“We’re gonna have some fun!” Stepper exclaimed, smiling. “After all, that’s the whole reason why I wanted to fuse with you in the first place. I don’t know how you expect us to have any fun as long as we’re like this.”
“Well, maybe you could if you’d just loosen up and chill out for a change, Dipper ,” Mabel said, pouting up at the fusion.
“Hey, I can loosen up just fine!” Stepper raised his upper hands defensively. “I’m just not so sure this is helping anything on that front. I-it could, if we… um… hm…” He lay back on the bed, equally at a loss over how to spend his precious, fleeting time together. “We should go somewhere, do something , but… No, I told you, I don’t want anyone seeing us. Not even the Gems?”
Mabel gasped, taken with the suggestion the moment she heard it. “Oh my gosh, Stepper, that’s a great idea! Let’s go show you off to the Gems!”
Before Stepper could even agree or disagree, Mabel grabbed him by the arm, yanking him up off the bed. “Mabel!” he yelped in protest as she dragged him back downstairs. “W-wait! No, it’s ok! The Gems will love us! B-but what if they don’t? What if they think we’re-”
“Quit stressing so much!” Mabel encouraged as they left the shack. “You’ll make a great first impression, just like Maven and Stevonnie did. All you need is the perfect intro–and you can leave that to me!”
Stepper offered her a shot-lived smile, soon wiped away by the constant worry he couldn’t seem to shake. It was more than just worry, really; it was fear . Fear of what others might say, what they might think, who they might tell about what he was, what he was doing, how he felt. Staying like this in seclusion was one thing, but showing himself–and who he was made of–off to the world wasn’t what he’d bargained for in the slightest. Revealing himself to anyone, in any way would be terrifying .
Still, he hoped that if there was anyone who might understand, it’d be the Gems.
By the time they made it up to the temple, Stepper was nearly on the verge of dashing back down to the shack to hide. He only narrowly managed to ground himself, standing by to anxiously wait for his cue as Mabel headed inside. Fortunately, the Gems were all on hand, relaxing on the couch as she ran over to greet them.
“You guys! The most amazing thing just happened–you’ll never believe it!” she threw her hands down on the coffee table. “Now, I bet you’re all wondering: where are Steven and Dipper?”
“Why, yes, I was wondering that actually,” Pearl nodded. “Are they still down at the shack?”
“Nope,” Mabel shook her head. “They’re right here !” She threw her hand out at the door, but it stayed shut, even when she tried again. “I said, they’re right here…” She glanced back at the Gems, briefly regarding their shared confusion before she said, “Give me a minute.”
The Gems stayed where they were, exchanging a glance as she headed back out onto the porch. There was the brief, muffled conversation, cut short when Mabel shoved Stepper into the temple, right into the Gems’ view. He gasped as he caught himself, eyes wide with panic as he met their equally surprised stares. The second that panic passed, he folded into a bright, cheerful smile as he raised one of his lower hands to wave at them.
“Hi, guys!” he exclaimed before he pushed his hand away. He blanched, suddenly anxious as he forced himself to turn on his heel toward the door. “O-on second thought, maybe this was a bad idea-”
“Oh, no, you don’t,” Mabel blocked his way out before pushing him back over to the Gems. “Everybody, I’d like you to meet Stepper!”
Stepper said nothing. Instead, he only stiffly waved at them once again, too petrified to do much of anything else. At first, the Gems were just as stunned into silence–until Amethyst broke down laughing.
“Oh, this has gotta be the best one yet!” she practically howled. “I told you guys we should have been placing bets on when this was gonna happen!”
“You know I would have won,” Garnet said, shifting her shades.
“And man, just look at you!” Amethyst hopped up and hurried over to the fusion. “Steven, I gotta hand it to you; first Connie, then Mabel, and now Dipper? You really get around!”
“Amethyst!” Pearl sharply scolded. For his part, Stepper had already been taken aback from the moment Amethyst started laughing. But that remark alone was more than enough to turn his face several shades redder than it already was.
“Hey, check me out!” Amethyst continued to tease. She shapeshifted a second set of arms, just under her usual pair, playfully waving them around. “I’m pulling a Stepper!”
“Could you please stop terrorizing them?!” Pearl rushed over to push Amethyst away. She paused to steal a curious glance at the fusion for herself. “S-so, Stepper, was it? It’s actually quite fascinating that you’d have four arms, seeing as how you’re technically 75% human!”
“Fascinating?” Stepper raised an eyebrow. When his mood shifted, he made the effort to try and hide his extra arms behind his back as he asked, “You mean it's weird, don’t you?”
“Oh! No, I didn’t–I was just implying that your additional arms are unusual when you consider the already improbable chances of your existence as a fusion!”
“A-are you saying I shouldn’t exist?”
“No, no!” Pearl adamantly shook her head. “What I was trying to say was–W-well, you see I–Oh, why is it so hard to talk to these new fusions?”
Fortunately for her, Garnet stepped in at just the right time. “I’ll take it from here, Pearl.”
“Good idea…” Pearl muttered, shrinking back in embarrassment.
Stepper remained wary, even as Garnet approached him. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting her to say, but he had a feeling it wasn’t going to be good. So he figured he might as well beat her to it as he let out a small, sad sigh and said, “Some ‘experience’ I am, huh, Garnet?”
Garnet drew in a sharp breath when she heard this, but otherwise, she stayed silent. She studied him for a moment longer, before ultimately placing a gentle hand under his chin to guide his gaze up to meet hers. When she finally spoke, what she told him was nothing less than the brutal truth. “Stepper, you… are an unstable fusion.”
Of all the things she could have said, Stepper hadn’t expected that . He backpedaled away from Garnet, shaking his head while he anxiously asked, “I-I’m what?”
“Unstable. Out of sync. Unbalanced-”
“I’m wrong ,” Stepper cut her off, shuddering. “ All of this is wrong! I told you that from the very beginning! N-no, that’s not–We can’t stay like this! Not for one more second! We were never supposed to be this in the first place! We need to unfuse before we-”
“Stepper!” Garnet grabbed him by the shoulders to keep him from spiraling any further than he already had. “Listen to me. Nothing is wrong with you or about you.”
“B-but you just said-”
“I know. You may be unstable, but you are not a mistake,” Garnet firmly assured. “Please, don’t think for a second that you are.” She caught him off guard when she pulled him into a comforting hug. “Believe me when I tell you that you are everything you are supposed to be.”
He wanted so badly to believe that, so badly that it nearly hurt . He wanted to, and yet… “B-but something’s still not right about us… about me… ” he muttered, despondent.
Garnet pulled back, still keeping her hands on his shoulders to keep him from falling apart again as she began to explain. “Fusion is a state that requires a bond of complete and total trust between two Gems–or more. For a fusion to be stable and healthy, the sum of its parts must be united in every way there is. Both halves have to want the same thing. That’s the very foundation that fusion is built upon. And you, Stepper… you don’t have that foundation.”
“How can you tell?” Stepper pressed, frowning. “Can you, like, feel it or something?”
“Don’t need to feel it,” Garnet shook her head. “I can see it.”
“Yeah, it’s kinda obvious you're a nervous wreck,” Amethyst plainly pointed out. “No offense.”
“You two… do seem rather unsteady,” Pearl couldn’t help but agree. “B-but what fusion isn’t their first time around?”
“Maven wasn’t!” Mabel piped up. She quickly changed her tune, however, upon noticing just how distressed Stepper truly was. “I-I mean, we were totally unsteady, just one big, awkward, four-eyed disaster!”
“No, we weren’t,” Stepper corrected, shaken. “Maven was fine. Better than fine–they were perfect ! Stevonnie was perfect! I’m…” he trailed off, staring down at all four of his trembling hands as he fought against the cold feeling creeping up inside of him. “I don’t know what I am…”
“Stepper,” Garnet caught his attention again. “Even if you are unstable, that doesn’t mean you’re not sustainable. After all, you’ve already managed to remain fused for this long. Something in both Steven and Dipper wants to keep you together, to see this work out.”
“I do want this to work out!” Stepper stressed. “I want us to have this, I want it to be something special for us both.” He drew his arms in close, curling in on himself as he tightly whispered. “I… I think I want this too, but… I can’t–You can ,” he smiled. His eyes were only starting to turn wet, but he wiped the tears away before they could come. “It’s ok. You can let yourself have this. You should let yourself have this. Please…” He closed his eyes as his upper hands came to rest just over his–over their –heart. “ We can have this. But we can only have it if we’re together . So…”
He took a deep breath, pulling himself to his full height as he opened his eyes to face the others. “How do we become stable?” he asked Garnet, calm and resolved.
“You’re already making progress,” she acknowledged, proud of what she’d just seen. “But to be truly stable, you need to find the harmony between yourselves. You have to meet each other on common ground and allow a connection of true trust to grow between you both. And once that connection has grown, you’ll find the harmony you’re looking for.”
“That’s… vague,” Stepper noted. “B-but I think we can do it!”
“So do I,” Garnet nodded, finally smiling. “It won’t be easy, but if you both believe in this, if you believe in each other, then the experience you end up having together will become one you’ll never forget. Trust me.”
Stepper also smiled, and this time, it didn’t fade away so quickly. While doubt and dread still ate away at him, that same sort of hope he’d felt earlier was starting to settle back in. Hope that their fusion could mean something, that it could be something better, that it could be something more wonderful than either of his halves could even imagine. But whether or not that’s actually what happened… was entirely in his hands now.
How lucky he was, then, to have four hands to rely on instead of only two.
“Alright then,” he said, resolved. “Let’s figure this out. And let’s do it together!”
“That’s the spirit!” Mabel cheered him on. “I can help you guys with this whole harmony thing! Thanks to Maven, I know everything there is to know about being a super-stable fusion, so my expertise is bound to come in handy.”
“Expertise?” Stepper raised an eyebrow. “You’ve only fused once .”
“Hey, so have you, Ste-bro,” Mabel countered. “Or at least, half of you has. The other half has fused three times now, so you’re already off to an even better start because of that! Now come on!” She grabbed Stepper by the arm to pull him along again as she headed for the door. “We’ve got some harmony to find!”
“Yeah, we do, and it’s gonna be great !” Stepper excitedly agreed. Just as quickly, he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly uneasy as Mabel shoved him outside. “Or it’ll end up being even more of a disaster than this has all already been. But even disasters can be fun sometimes! Well, this one sure hasn’t been so far…”
The fusion’s one-sided conversation only continued, until the Gems could no longer hear it. Once the kids were out of earshot, Pearl voiced the question they were all undoubtedly asking themselves. “Are you sure he’ll be alright, Garnet? He seemed rather, well..”
“He’s a wreck, just like I said,” Amethyst simply shrugged.
Garnet only adjusted her shades. Her future vision offered up many possibilities for what might happen here. But in the end, she knew that only Stepper could decide which one became a reality. Which was why the most Garnet could tell her teammates was, “All we can do is wait and see.”
“Ok, boys,” Mabel zealously tapped the chalkboard she’d set up in the shack’s den. “Operation Find the Harmony is a go!”
“Ok… and you wrote that on a chalkboard for some reason?” Stepper tilted his head, confused.
Mabel paused, glancing between him and the chalkboard before letting out an exasperated sigh. “Yeah, I guess I did, but that’s not what matters here! Stop asking so many questions, Dipper , and focus on the mission here!”
“Hey, that wasn’t me this time!” Stepper argued before he sheepishly raised a hand. “He’s right. That was me this time.”
“Oh! That’s good!” Mabel exclaimed, excited. “That means you two are starting to rub off on each other! Quick, the Dipper half of you: say something Steven would say!”
“I… don’t think that’s how this works…”
“No, no, no!” Mabel scolded, shaking her head. “I said something Steven would say, not any of your usual ‘Doubtful Dipper’ stuff.”
“Ha! Doubtful Dipper! That’s a good one!” Stepper chuckled, though his humor quickly drained into annoyance. “Ok, are we actually going to be serious about this whole harmony thing, or are we just here to mess around? Aw, we’re just having a little fun. That's the whole point, remember? You may be having fun, but I’m sure not. Then we have to fix that! Um… Let’s see… we could always start with-”
“Kids!”
Stepper and Mabel both gasped, startled, as Stan’s voice rang through the shack. Before he even entered the den, Stepper was on his feet, scrambling to hide, to keep anyone else from seeing him, from knowing what they’d done. In his panic, he hunkered down and hid behind the first thing he could find–which just so happened to be Mabel.
“What in the name of that’s all that’s worth money is all that junk you runts left in the yard?” Stan stepped into the room, scowling. “That dumb pig and that crazy lion got into all those snacks and left a huge mess that somebody’s gotta clean up, and it sure isn’t gonna be-” He stopped short the second he spotted Stepper, trying and failing to hide with Mabel providing him barely any cover at all. “Uh, Mabel? What’s with the four-armed freak back there?”
“F-freak?” Stepper squeaked as he clumsily fell flat onto the floor.
“Aw, Grunkle Stan, you scared him!” Mabel scolded as she helped Stepper up. “Look at him, he’s got that deer-in-the-headlights look and everything!”
“N-no, I don’t!” Stepper protested, flustered. “Yeah, it’s ok, Grunkle Pines. You may have startled us a little, but I know you didn’t mean to!”
Stan simply stared at him, completely confused for a moment. His face swiftly fell back into a scowl as soon as he got a better glimpse at the fusion, letting him quickly put together exactly what he was looking at here. “Oh, great, another one,” he rolled his eyes. “Let me guess… it’s Steven and Dipper this time, isn’t it?”
“Um… W-well,” Stepper glanced away, unsure of how to explain himself to someone like Stan. To someone who may not be as receptive to him, to this, as the Gems were.
Fortunately, Mabel jumped in to explain for him. “Yep! Grunkle Stan, meet Stepper! Isn’t he great ?”
“Well, he sure is something , pumpkin,” Stan noted as he curiously circled the fusion. “To be honest, I didn’t think either of them swung that way, but whatever floats their boats, I guess.”
“I-I didn’t mean to!” Stepper suddenly blurted out, eyes wide with fear. “It was an accident! We were just dancing a-and this just happened and… and–It’s ok, please, just–N-no! No, this is bad . We shouldn’t have done this! Mr. Stan, please don’t be mad! We’ll unfuse, we’ll-”
“Hey, hey! Slow down there, motor-mouth!” Stan cut in. He rested a hand against the fusion’s back, concerned by just how fast and frantic his breathing was. “What’s got you so worked up anyway? What makes you think I’d be mad about,” he vaguely gestured up and down at Stepper. “Any of this?”
“B-because we fused,” Stepper muttered, deeply ashamed. “We fused and we’re both… you know… boys .”
Stan’s eyes widened when he heard this. He didn’t have to think too hard about which half of the fusion that shame was coming from. And what–or rather who –was the one behind that shame to begin with. He swiftly stifled the rage rising in his chest at the very thought of her, in favor of focusing on the distraught fusion standing in front of him instead.
“Look,” he let out a steadying sigh. “I’m not mad, not even a little. As far as I’m concerned, you can, uh… ‘fuse’ with whoever you want. Boy or girl, doesn’t matter. We’re all still people at the end of the day, aren’t we?”
“Um, actually, Steven’s half-Gem,” Mabel pointed out.
“Aw, you both know what I mean,” Stan scoffed with a wave of his hand. “Point is, you’re fine,” he rested a hand on Stepper’s shoulder, offering him a genuine grin. “Or at least, about as fine as someone with an extra set of arms could be.”
“Wow, thanks, Grunkle Pines!” Stepper said, finally managing a smile himself. “Yeah, uh… thanks. I guess… I was just worried you’d be like-”
“You don’t have to worry,” Stan firmly assured. “I’m about the furthest thing from her you’re ever gonna get.”
It didn’t take long for Mabel to pick up on who they were talking about. She joined in on the moment, hugging Stepper’s leg tight, to silently tell him she was on his side every bit as much as Stan was. It made him feel the same way Garnet had earlier, that he deserved to exist like this, that he wasn’t wrong for being together, for wanting to be together.
It made him feel as though finding the harmony, finding himself might not be as hard as he thought.
For as sweet of a moment as it was, it was soon broken as Soos and Wendy wandered into the den, curious to see what all the fuss they’d heard from the gift shop was about. “Uh…” Wendy stopped short, surprised by what they found. “Are we interrupting something?”
“Whoa,” Soos stared at Stepper, fascinated. “Nice extra arms, dude.”
“Um… thanks!” Stepper tried hiding those arms, only to end up waving them instead.
“Oh! I’m glad you guys are here!” Mabel hurried over to the pair. She threw a hand out at Stepper, cheerfully introducing him. “I’d like you both to meet Steven and Dipper’s soon-to-be super-harmonious fusion: Stepper!”
“Mabel, come on…” Stepper groaned, hiding his face. “I told you I didn’t want to show myself off to everyone. Aw, it’s not everyone, it’s just Soos and Wendy! They’re cool, right, you guys?”
“Not as cool as you are, dude! Dudes? Dude,” Soos nodded, satisfied that he got it right. “Still, I gotta admit, I’m a little disappointed… I mean, you look totally awesome, don’t get me wrong, but you don’t look anything like my design for a Steven-Dipper fusion!”
He pulled his ‘fusion folder’ out, showing Stepper a drawing that bore a striking similarity to him. Or at least, half of him thought so. “Soos, what are you talking about?” Stepper raised an eyebrow. “That looks exactly like us. Mm… I don’t know. I mean, it’s a great drawing, Soos, but it doesn’t really look much like us at all… Seriously?”
As his one-sided debate fizzled out, Wendy stepped closer to the fusion, curiously looking him up and down. “Huh,” she said, impressed. “You guys seem a lot different than Stevonnie does, and I'm not just talking about the whole four arm thing. How are you feeling?”
Stepper took pause, unsure of how to answer such a question. Mostly because he had far too many answers to it to even count. “I feel great!” He stopped himself, shaking his head. “And weird . B-but it’s fine! We feel fine! No, I feel… I don’t know, uncomfortable? Overwhelmed? Excited! And scared … It’s… it’s kind of a lot… ”
“Uh… are you guys ok?” Wendy asked, suddenly concerned.
Stepper looked up, not even realizing just how much he’d paled, how almost all four of his hands were trembling. “Yeah, no, like I said! We’re– I’m fine,” he assured with a forced laugh. “I’m… Y-yeah… W-what he… what I said…”
Stan suddenly stepped into the space between his employees and the fusion to put an end to this awkward exchange. “Alright, quit gawking at him already. It’s not like they’re any less of an annoying smart-alec or a happy-go-lucky goofball like this than they are when they’re apart. Though speaking of gawking…” He smirked back at Stepper in the hopes of lightening the mood a little. “Those four arms of yours do have some potential. I think folks would pay good money to see that many arms not glued onto a person, but on a real… sort of person instead.”
“Wait… what?” Stepper asked, confused at first, then delighted. “Oh my gosh, Mr. Stan! You really want to make us an attraction here at the Mystery Shack?”
“Eh, sure,” Stan shrugged, still grinning. “Seeing as how you’re half-family, that means I’d only have to half-pay you. Or I just won’t pay you at all. Works even better, if you ask me.”
“Oh wow! Yeah, of course, we’ll– No !” Stepper fiercely cut himself off. “No way, Grunkle Pines! We are not headlining as any kind of attraction just for people to point and laugh at us! I’m sure they wouldn’t laugh! They’d probably think we’re really cool and–Are you serious ?”
“Whoa, uh, hey,” Stan tried to cut in when he noticed the turn for the worse things were taking. “I was just joking-”
Stepper ignored him. Instead, he held his arms out wide, glaring between them with disgust and disdain. “Just look at us! We’re a mess–a freak ! No, we’re not! Yes, we are ! Why won’t you just admit it already? The reason why we’re so unstable is because we’re not even supposed to be like this in the first place! N-no,” he hugged himself even tighter, tears brimming in his eyes as he begged , “We just need to find the harmony, like Garnet said! If we come together, then this won’t be so–I don’t want to come together! I don’t want to feel like this anymore! I don’t want to be this! I just want to be myself–”
He cut himself off with a sharp scream that echoed through the shack. As it did, his entire body was enshrouded in sudden light that poured out from his gem. Soos and Wendy gasped and Stan froze, his eyes wide with alarm. Still, Stepper kept on screaming, the silhouette of his limbs desperately flailing from his wavering form. Mabel was the first to jump into action, knowing what was about to happen here. From somewhere within the light, she found the fusion’s lower hands, holding tightly onto them before they could disappear entirely.
“Stepper!” she cried. It shook her, when she heard his singular voice begin to split; when she realized she could hear Steven and Dipper’s voices screaming instead. He– They were in pain, she realized; even if it wasn’t physical, it was agonizing in a way that anyone could hear. And as far as Mabel knew, there was only one way to make that pain stop . “You guys gotta stick together!” she encouraged. “Remember what Garnet said! Operation Find the Harmony isn’t over yet! You guys can still turn this into something good! Don’t give up on each other yet, please !”
The fusion, or whatever was left of him, jolted when he heard this. Her words seemed to inject him with something he so sorely needed. He pulled his lower hands away, locking those arms around himself in a tight, desperate hug. His upper arms soon followed, his screams finally dying out as his voices merged back into one once again. He had to stay together, he had to . He needed this , even if he refused to see it. But he’d show him, he’d make him see.
He’d keep them together. He had to. Whether he wanted it or not.
After what felt like an eternity, the light slowly faded, and Stepper was still there. A wave of exhaustion passed over his face, the toll of such a strain weighing heavy upon him. Just as he began to sway, Stan rushed in to catch him, barely keeping the taller fusion steady enough to keep standing. Still, Stepper recovered from the ordeal quickly enough. He took in a deep breath as he pulled himself back onto his feet, squaring his shoulders as he refused to meet any of the concerned stares he knew he was getting. With his lower arms still clinging onto himself, he simply turned and walked out of the room without another word.
“Stepper!” Mabel called, running after him. “Wait up!”
A beat of awkward silence filled the den once they were both gone. Stan quickly broke it as he let out a playful scoff to break the heavy tension in the air. “Yeesh, talk about your split personality, huh?”
His attempt at humor was completely lost on Wendy as she asked, “Uh, should we be worried about Steven and Dipper?”
“Yeah,” Soos agreed, frowning. “They just kinda had a major meltdown there…”
“Oh, they’ll be fine,” Stan waved his hand, pretending not to care. “But I’ll tell you what you two should be worried about: getting back to work!” He pointed them to the gift shop, and they hesitantly left, still sparing a fretful glance at the door Stepper had left through.
As soon as they were gone though, Stan couldn’t hold back his own troubled sigh any longer than he already had. “I hope you kids know what you’re doing…” he muttered to himself with worry that had been weighing heavy on him for a while now. Worry that he couldn’t seem to shake any time he saw the twins entangle themselves with Steven and the Gems.
Worry that would only remain the closer they continued to get.
“Stepper!” Mabel hurried outside after the fusion. He finally stopped in the yard, but he didn’t turn to face her, his head hung and his lower hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. He made a point of averting Mabel’s gaze as she ran up to check on him. “So, uh… Operation Find the Harmony may have hit a bit of a snag back there, but that’s ok! You two still managed to pull it back together, which means there’s still plenty of things we can try to-”
“What’s the point?” Stepper spoke up, sighing. “We can barely stay together as it is. How are we ever going to find a way to be stable when we’re just so… different ?”
“Aw, don’t sell yourself short!” Mabel encouraged, eager to cheer him up. “If there’s anyone who can do this, it’s you two. All you need is a really good bonding experience to get you help you both singing in perfect harmony!”
“Well… I do like singing…” Stepper acknowledged, before flatly countering, “She didn’t mean that literally. And besides, isn’t this ,” he broadly motioned at himself. “The very definition of a ‘bonding experience’?”
“Well, yeah , fusion is a great way to bond, but you guys are still having a little trouble with it,” Mabel said. “So you’ve got to take it a step further than that. You’ve gotta do something you both enjoy. Like… Oh! I know! Dipper, you like mysteries, right?”
“Um… yeah, I guess so?”
“And Steven, you like adventures?”
“Oh! You know I do!”
“Then there’s one sure-fire thing that’ll make you as stable as a Stepper can be,” Mabel concluded, grinning. “A mystery-adventure ?”
“A… what?” Stepper frowned, confused.
“A fusion, between a mystery and an adventure!” Mabel explained. “It’s pretty fitting, don’t you think?”
“So… you want us to go on an adventure and solve a mystery?” Stepper inferred. “I guess there wouldn’t be any harm in that. And it might even be fun! Uh… yeah, well, I don’t really know where you expect us to find a mystery to go adventuring for without the–” He cut himself with a sharp, sudden gasp. “Oh my gosh! The journal! I almost forgot about it with all this fusion stuff going on!”
He tensed at his own realization, and another soon struck him. Namely that for as much as the journal had indirectly been what had brought him together, it could just as well end up tearing him apart too. “O-oh, well… w-what do we really need it for anyway?” he forced out an awkward laugh. “It’s not like it has any answers about how we can find harmony. Maybe not, but it does have other notes about fusion that might help. The only problem is, I don’t know where it is because somebody felt the need to hide it earlier.”
Mabel readily returned the irritated scowl Stepper sent her way. “Hey, don’t look at me! It was the only way we could get you to stay out here. And aren’t you glad you did? You guys would have never fused at all if I hadn’t hid that journal!”
“I know…” Stepper sighed, glancing down worriedly. “I-I still don’t think we really need it. But you know where it is, don’t you? I-I do, but… But what? Just show me where it is so we can get on with this?”
“So we can finish this,” he could practically hear himself saying. “So there won’t be any reason for us to stay like this anymore. So we can split up and never, ever be together again.”
“No,” he said, his eyes wide with sudden panic. “No? Why not? B-because we… Y-you can’t…I-” He trailed off, closing his eyes. He needed something , anything to distract him, to steer his thoughts as far away from the journal, as far away from splitting up as possible.
Fortunately, his gem just so happened to have the perfect distraction to give him.
Stepper gasped, startled, when the stone on his stomach suddenly started to glow again. All four of his hands flew away from it, especially when an unknown shape projected from it. “W-what’s happening?!” he asked, alarmed. “Oh! It’s ok! I think it’s just our-”
He stopped short when the light faded from whatever his gem had materialized. It almost fell to the ground until Stepper caught it with his lower arms. His confusion only grew when he held it up to see what it really was. “Is this… the journal?” he asked, incredulously staring at the book. “No, it’s… It looks… What is this thing?”
While the book in his hands was roughly the same shape and size as the journal, the resemblance stopped there. Its dark pink cover almost seemed to shimmer and its pages were much more pristine than the journal’s worn and tattered ones. The emblem on the front of it was by far its most striking feature though: a deep blue Big Dipper against a bright yellow star. A fusion, every bit as much as the one holding it was.
“Whoa,” Mabel chimed in, dazzled. “Looks like the journal got an upgrade! It’s way prettier and shinier than it usually is!”
“Hm… I think…” Stepper honed in on the peculiar, yet strangely familiar energy the book was putting off. “This is our weapon…”
“Huh?” Mabel asked, confused. “How is a book supposed to be a weapon? Are you just supposed to throw it at monsters or something?”
“I don’t know…” Stepper turned the journal over in his hands. “Maybe there’s something inside of it that-”
“Oh! Good idea!” Mabel pulled it away from him before he could stop her. “Let’s see here…” She began flipping through it. “Well, there’s no secret knife hidden in here like Grunkle Stan has in some of the books at the shack… What if it’s some kind of magical spellbook instead?”
“Oo, a spellbook could be cool!” Stepper grinned as Mabel handed the journal back over to him. “I guess it would be better than nothing, but–wait.” He paused, taken aback by what he noticed about the actual contents of his journal. “Is this all about… us ?!”
Sure enough, it was true. Every page was filled with details and drawings of Dipper and Steven, split squarely down the middle between them. From likes and dislikes, fears and frustrations, even memories–both recent and forgotten were meticulously logged onto the journal’s magical pages. It might’ve been impressive… if it didn’t feel so utterly unnerving .
“H-how did all of this stuff get in here?!” Stepper asked, rapidly flipping through the book. “Who knows? But isn’t it awesome ?! We could use this to learn so much about each other! Like this!” He grinned eagerly as he stopped on a particular page that held the answer to a question that had gone unanswered earlier. “It says here that your real name is actually Ma-”
With one set of arms, he slammed the journal shut before using his second pair of hands to cover his mouth. His entire face burned hot with the embarrassment he’d already been feeling all day, of having his secrets laid so bare, of having his privacy torn to shreds, of having someone peering at him straight down to his very soul. It was intrusive, unwelcome, unwanted , to the point that he wasn’t sure just how much more of it he could truly take. He wasn’t sure if finding the harmony, however good it might feel, was worth all of this.
He wasn’t sure if he could hold on any longer than he already had.
By now, Mabel had snatched the journal away from him again to get a better look at its pages for herself. “Ohhh, I get it! The journal’s 50% about Dipper, 50% about Steven, and 100% about you , Stepper! It makes perfect sense!”
“It doesn’t make any sense,” Stepper took the journal back, glaring distrustfully at it. “Why is this book about us and nothing else? Maybe because it’s a magical fusion weapon? This thing isn’t even a weapon at all! There must be something we’re not seeing… No, we’ve seen all of it and it's useless !”
With that, he threw the journal down, turning his nose up at it as it disappeared in a burst of light. “What did you do that for?!” he asked himself, frustrated. “If we’d taken a better look at it, we could have figured out what it can really do! It’s a book for crying out loud. It can’t do anything! Well, maybe it could if you’d just give it a chance! And maybe while you’re at it, you could give this a chance too!”
“Guys!” Mabel attempted to intervene. “Don’t fight! Remember Operation Find the Har-”
“I am giving this a chance!” Stepper hotly exclaimed. “I’ve been giving this a chance all day, but it’s getting harder and harder to accept things like four arms and a creepy journal and all of these feelings that I can’t control!”
“Stepper-” Mabel tried again, only for the fusion to drown her out once more.
“I keep trying to tell you, you’ll get used to all of that!” he pressed, his upper arms tightly gripping his lower ones. “You keep saying that, but it’s not happening! Because you won’t let it happen! Well, maybe I would if you’d stop trying to force us to stay like this!” He paced around the yard, his voice only raising more and more as his arguing escalated. It had gotten to the point that all Mabel could do was stand by and watch in worried silence as Stepper continued fighting with himself. As he continued unraveling more and more with each passing minute.
“I’m not forcing anything! I just want to help you! Help me what? Feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore? Because if that’s what you were trying to do, then great job! It definitely worked! Ugh, how do you still not get it?! The whole reason why I want this to work out so badly is because I-”
The tension between him was sliced straight through as a brutal crash rang through the air. The ground trembled in its wake, sending Mabel falling to the ground. Stepper only barely managed to maintain his footing, glancing to the woods where the sudden commotion had come from.
“Whoa, what was that?” Mabel asked, standing. She was admittedly grateful for the interruption, for the way it distracted Stepper away from himself and his anger. “Come on, let’s go check it out!”
Stepper tentatively followed her into the forest, to the spot where the ongoing mechanical clatter was leading them to. They peered through the trees to find an alarming sight. An entire clearing had been decimated by a pod of metallic green orbs, much like the marbles Peridot had sent a few weeks ago, but much larger and more menacing. They stormed through the area on stout, sturdy legs, almost as if they were searching for something. Stepper and Mabel made sure to remain out of their sight, even as the Gems arrived to confront the imposing pack of machines.
“Whoa! Look at these crazy things!” Amethyst narrowly dodged one of them when it tried to kick her.
Pearl sent her spear flying at another robot. “I can’t believe Peridot’s still sending her pesky robots here.”
“Believe it, you Crystal Clods!”
One of the marbles rose up higher than the others to reveal a screen, showing none other than Peridot. She flashed her foes a broad, smug grin, content to let her robots do the dirty work for her. “You three must think you’re soooo on top of things after that stunt you pulled back at the Prime Kindergarten. But you failed to anticipate that your traitorous behavior would go unpunished. I’m not about to let you defective rebels interfere with my assignment again. So I’ll just take you out the easy way and then simply proceed as planned.”
“So what? Are you just gonna bore us to death with all this ‘revenge’ talk?” Amethyst asked, rolling her eyes. “Or are we actually gonna fight?”
“Hmph! See? This is exactly why you Crystal Gems deserve to be taken out!” Peridot snapped, annoyed. “You’re just a bunch of impetuous lumps!”
“Takes one to know one,” Garnet coolly retorted. Behind her, Pearl and Amethyst shared a laugh, setting Peridot off even more than she already was.
“We’ll see who has the last laugh when my attack robonoids are through with you!” she shouted, tapping away at her screen to call her machines to action. “Go! Shatter them so I can be rid of their aggravating meddling once and for all!”
She let out a vengeful laugh as her robonoids got to work. Long, sharp tendrils burst out of their round bodies, besetting the Gems on all sides. While they held their own at first, it was clear they were already outnumbered and outgunned; which meant it wouldn’t be long before they were overwhelmed entirely.
“Oh no!” Mabel exclaimed. “The Gems are in trouble! We have to get out there and help them! Come on!” She darted forward, though she quickly stopped short as soon as she realized she wasn’t being followed. “Uh, Stepper? Aren’t you coming?”
Stepper flinched, tearing his gaze away where they had been–on his hands–to focus on her instead. “Uh, give me a minute,” he said, stepping back a bit. “I’ll… I’ll be right behind you.”
“...Ok,” Mabel hesitantly agreed. “I’ll see you out there, I guess.”
Stepper said nothing as she ran on ahead. He watched her join the fray alongside the Gems, despite the grave danger they were facing. Normally, he would have been the first to do the same, they both would have, but…
“We need to go help them…” he shook his head. “I know, but… we can’t… Not like this…”
He took another step back into the shade of the trees as an appalled scoff escaped him. “Are you really that embarrassed about being this that you can’t even let it go during an emergency like this? I’m not embarrassed, I-I’m just–Yes, you are! I can feel it! You’re embarrassed by our arms and our journal and… and by me .”
He stiffened as the shadows of the forest only seemed to grow darker around him. Sunlight still spilled out from the spaces between the branches and leaves, but he hardly noticed when the color of that light seemed to shift. When it turned to vibrant, contrasting shades of pink and blue that painted his entire body.
“I-I’m not… embarrassed by you,” he said, and it was true. He wasn’t the problem; the real problem… was something that went far beyond them both. “I just… I can’t shake the feeling that this is something we shouldn’t be doing. Why shouldn’t we? There’s nothing wrong with fusing! There is when it’s like this… .”
He stared down at his arms, at the colors clashing on them, staining them in two entirely different shades. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong? Why you’re feeling like this?” he implored, desperate to figure out what was keeping them apart, even when they were together. To know why they both still felt so alone . “You wouldn’t understand…” he muttered, loosely hugging himself. “I could try, if you’d just let me in. I want to… I want to so badly , but…I can’t -”
“You mean you won’t ,” his tone suddenly turned sharp as a bitter realization struck him. “Even now that we’re together, you still keep shutting me out. I-I’m not, I just–You are . You think you always have to be alone, but you don’t . I want to be there for you, I want to show you just how much you mean to me! But…” He found he couldn’t hold back a heartbroken sob as he forced himself to admit the truth, no matter how devastating it might be. “But you don’t want me .”
He hung his head as his tears kept flowing; neither of his halves had it in him to stop them now. “That’s why we can’t find the harmony. There is none between the two of us. We don’t belong together, we never will. We’re just… too different…”
The second he said this, the colors covering him seemed to split. Pink and blue enshrouded him evenly on either side, with a clean divide between the two. Just like the clean divide between the two halves of his heart. “I… I wanted this to work out too, you know,” he admitted brokenly, bitterly. Anger slowly began to fill in the space between his tears as he refused to let him pin all of the blame solely on his shoulders. He wasn’t the only thing wrong with their fusion. They both were.
“You sure aren’t acting like it,” he returned just as crossly.
“I do–or at least I did!” he shot back fiercely. “Until you decided you were going to force us to stay together, no matter what I wanted!”
“T-that’s not–I didn’t-”
“Oh, yeah you did! I can feel it–It drives you crazy that we’re not as stable as Maven and Stevonnie were, that I can’t give you the same feeling Mabel and Connie did!”
“No, I just–” he cut himself off, running a hand through his hair as he let out a defeated sigh. “I just wanted to feel that way again…”
“Well, I’m sorry I’m not good enough to make you feel that way!” he tearfully snapped. “All I’ve been making you feel is all of the stress and confusion and guilt I’ve had ever since any of this began, right ?!”
“Hey, that’s not my fault that you feel like that! We can stop any time you want-”
“No, we can’t because you won’t let us !” His voice was echoing through the forest by this point, but he could hardly care less. The storm, the war, the divide–they all raged on, determined to rip him apart.
And right now, he honestly hoped that they did.
“I tried letting go when we nearly fell apart at the shack earlier,” he continued, distraught. “I wanted to let go, but you… you just pulled me back in.” He drew in a sob as he stared up at the colors spilling upon him, desperate to stay together and desperate to escape. “You didn’t ask whether that’s something I wanted or not. You didn’t even care …”
He gasped, his eyes going wide with shock, as if he’d been struck by what he’d just said. “Y-you’re right…” he barely managed to whisper. Guilt washed over him, practically drowning him as the colors began to fiercely pull away from each other. Their tug only worsened when he realized exactly what he’d done… and exactly who he’d hurt. Who he was still hurting, every second they stayed together. “I didn’t care… I didn’t even think about… a-about what you might’ve–”
Without warning, the colors violently snapped apart. And with them, so did Stepper.
The forest resumed its normal hue as they hit the ground away from each other. Somewhere in the distance, the din of the Gems battling Peridot’s robonoids still echoed, but they hardly heard it. Instead, Dipper slowly sat up, nursing a hand against his throbbing head. “Ugh, why do I have such a–” He stopped short at the sound of his voice, his own voice, at the sight of his own short legs and his own two arms. “Oh my gosh!” he exclaimed, relief flooding through him. “W-we’re back! It’s just me again! And–Steven!” He spun around to look for him. “Steven, we un-”
“Yeah… I know…” Steven sat only a few feet away from him, his knees pulled to his chest and his face buried in them. From the way his shoulders were shuddering, Dipper could easily tell he was still crying. He absently skimmed his own face to find it was still wet with tears–with Stepper’s tears, lingering even still. As he took another look at Steven, it took all he had in him to keep fresh tears–entirely his own this time–from falling in their place.
Unsure of what else to do, Dipper slowly took a seat on the ground beside Steven. They sat together in silence for a moment or two, only broken by the soft sound of Steven’s despondent sobbing. There was so much Dipper wanted to say, but he figured it’d be best to start with, “Steven, look, I’m-”
“Dipper,” Steven spoke up, his voice small and full of shame. “I’m so sorry…”
“What?” Dipper frowned, confused. “Steven, no. If anyone should be sorry, it should be me-”
“No, it should be me !” Steven finally lifted his head. His expression, so rife with guilt and grief, was nearly enough to shake Dipper to his core. “I didn’t just trick you into fusing with me, I forced you to stay like that, even though I knew you weren’t comfortable! I wouldn’t listen to you, all because I wanted another ‘perfect’ fusion. But Stepper wasn’t perfect, and I couldn’t accept that. So I just kept pulling you back in, without even giving you a choice about it! I-I made you feel–”
“Trapped,” both boys finished together. They exchanged a glance, and for the first time all day, they were exactly on the same page about just how remorseful they both truly were.
“Steven…” Dipper sighed, unsure of where to even start with his own apology. Except Steven still wasn’t finished with his.
“You know what the craziest part is?” he let out a small, bitter laugh. “This all started because I wanted to help you have a little fun. A lot of good that did. I only ended up making things even worse , all because I had to go and take it too far.”
“You only had to do that because of me !” Dipper protested, adamant. “Every time you tried to reach out to me, all I did was push you away! A part of me really did want to give it a chance, but every time I did, I just… I couldn’t stop thinking about how it felt like something was wrong with us a-and with me for feeling that way about…” He trailed off, his face turning red when he met the earnest look Steven was sending his way.
“A-about me?” he finished for him. His brow furrowed in confusion, even as a soft blush began to dust his own cheeks when Dipper hesitantly nodded. “I still don’t understand. Why were you so scared about us being together?”
“Oh, come on,” Dipper forced out a laugh. “Don’t tell me you didn’t feel a little awkward about it too. I mean, I’m not exactly like Mabel or Connie.”
“Um… I know?” Steven raised an eyebrow, still not following.
Dipper groaned, covering his face in embarrassment as he finally said it plainly. “Steven, we’re both boys .”
“Yeah? And?”
“A-and we shouldn’t–I-it’s not right for us to-” Dipper cut himself off. It suddenly struck him, just how silly all of the arguments he could have made actually sounded. Just how little sense everything he’d ever been told truly made, how little it all seemed to matter now. How could anything, when weighed against the way felt when he looked at the boy sitting by his side, smiling at him like he was the most important person in the entire world?
How could anything about this be wrong when it felt so right ?
“It’s… o-ok…” he said, trying to help himself believe that. He didn’t yet, not entirely, and maybe he wouldn’t for quite some time. But with someone like Steven by his side, maybe someday, he could. “There’s… there’s nothing wrong with us… with me …”
“You’re everything you’re supposed to be,” Steven finished. His smile turned a touch fonder as he rested his hand over Dipper’s, giving it a gentle, affirming squeeze. “Just like Garnet said.”
If Dipper was already on the verge of breaking down before, that’s what pushed him over the edge completely. He threw his arms around Steven, sobbing against his shoulder with a smile so full of joy and relief it was almost overwhelming. Steven shared those feelings as he held him close, patiently waiting until Dipper was ready to speak again. When he did, his voice came out soft as he admitted, “We’re really different…”
“I think that’s a good thing,” Steven returned just as gently.
“Do you think… we’re too different?” Dipper pulled back to wipe his eyes dry. “I mean, you’re used to fusing, but… it was just too much for me. It’s so easy for you to let others in, but… it’s nowhere even close to easy for me…”
“That’s ok,” Steven took his hands again. “I should have never expected you to just get used to it like that. I just… I wanted to feel that good again, yeah, but I wanted you to feel it too! When you fuse, and when it’s just right… it's incredible . There’s nothing in the world that can bring you down from that.”
“But I wouldn’t let us feel like that,” Dipper said, sighing. “I was so wrapped up in how bad I was feeling, I couldn’t even imagine the way you wanted us to feel. We could have had such a great time together, but… we didn’t…”
“Well,” Steven said, casually leaning his shoulder against Dipper’s. “We still could… If you want to…”
“Hm,” Dipper smirked as he pretended to mull the offer over. Even if he already knew exactly what his answer would be. “Well, Mabel and the Gems do still need our help taking on Peridot and her machines. I think I know someone who might be able to lend them an extra hand or two… or four.”
Steven’s smile brightened as he stood, extending a hand out to Dipper to help him up. “I don’t know anyone better for the job.”
Dipper didn’t even hesitate to take Steven’s hand this time–after today, he was sure he’d never hesitate again. “Neither do I,” he said, just shy of pulling Steven into another dance.
There wasn’t a single note of music, but their shared laughter was more than enough of a soundtrack to accompany their joyful dance. As it reached its crescendo, they drew in close, foreheads almost touching as a warm, welcome light enveloped them both. No one was around to see it–not that anyone could have anyway–when within that light, one of them lightly kissed the other’s forehead, right in the center of his birthmark.
It was more than enough to bring them back together again.
“Whoa,” Stepper gasped when he opened his eyes. He looked down at himself, shaken by just how different this was than it had been before. By just how complete he finally felt. “Is… is this... Yeah, it is,” he smiled warmly, proudly. “This is how it’s supposed to feel.”
He couldn’t hold back the laughter bubbling up inside his chest. It rang through the trees, free and clear as both sets of arms wrapped tightly around himself. He let himself fall backward into the soft grass, practically glowing with just how right this was, by how beautiful it was, by the harmony he had finally found.
But it didn’t stop there. He sat up with a gasp when he noticed his gem glowing, summoning something unbidden. The same bizarre journal from before flashed into existence, but this time, it didn’t fall. Instead, it hovered in the air, its cover opening entirely on its own accord as its pages rapidly turned. Stepper could only watch, fascinated, as it stopped on the book’s center pages, where an intricate drawing of Steven’s shield spread in full, vivid color. Curious, Stepper rested his lower hands under the book as he rested an upper palm against those pages. And as he lifted his hand up, he conjured a smaller version of that very shield into existence, entirely out of nothing.
“Wow…” he muttered, stunned by the sheer power ringing through the book in his hands. By the kind of incredible magic he could only do together . “Well, what do you know?” he grinned as he sent that shield flying fast through the trees. “I guess a book really can be a weapon after all.” He turned his attention back to the battle he knew was raging just behind the trees. A battle he was finally ready to make his mark on. “And I think I know the perfect way to test it out…”
As much as they didn’t want to admit it, the Gems weren’t doing well. Peridot’s robonoids were much sturdier and more aggressive than they could have anticipated. Even their strongest attacks barely managed to put a dent in them. What’s more, the fight had only gotten more tricky when Mabel rushed in to try and help, only to end up in every bit as much trouble as the Gems were. It had gotten to the point where the robonoids basically had them pinned, trapped, or tied up, all while Peridot held her incoming victory over all of their heads.
“Struggle all you want,” she sneered, smirking from her screen. “None of it will matter once you’re all broken to itty-bitty bits!”
“Not if we break your insipid robots first!” Pearl snapped as her spear just barely missed the nearest robonoid.
“Ha! Like that will ever happen,” Peridot let out a mocking laugh. “You all might as well face facts: you’re about to face an agonizing and crushing defeat at the hands of a far superior Gem! I’m so excited about it, I can hardly contain myself!”
“Hmph! Contain this !” Mabel yanked one of her shoes off and threw it straight at Peridot’s screen.
“Hey!” Peridot scolded. “Your gravity connector cover scuffed up my robonoid! Just for that, I think I’ll finish you off first, you ‘Mabel’!”
As wrangled and hoisted high by the robonoids as she was, there was little Mabel could do but gasp, terrified, as another tendril came rushing right for her. But it never hit her. Instead, something flew in to slice it in half just in time. Another pink blur followed, cleanly cutting the coils keeping Mabel trapped, allowing her to safely fall back down to the ground.
“What?!” Peridot gawked, baffled. Likewise, Mabel and the Gems were every bit as surprised to see exactly who had come to their rescue.
“Stepper!” Mabel exclaimed, excited to see him, especially the way he was now. He stood tall, far more confident than ever before, with his newly-dubbed shield journal hovering over his hand. Floating just above it, a small shield hovered, raring and ready to go as Stepper met Peridot’s shocked look with a stern and steady glare.
“Peridot!” he boldly shouted, entirely unafraid. “Let them go! Or else.”
For a moment, Peridot simply stared at him, completely dumbfounded, before she caught herself with an irritated scoff. “Oh, please . Why would I ever do that when I’m so close to winning ?”
“Fine,” Stepper shrugged, smirking. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
With that, he sent his first shield flying. It cleanly sliced through the coils ensuring the Gems before it slammed straight into one of the robonoids, cutting deep into its hull. As the Gems fell, they could only watch, bewildered, as Stepper rushed past them, straight into the fray.
“Boys, wait!” Pearl called, alarmed. “You can’t fight like that! You’re unstable!”
“Not anymore,” Garnet countered, smiling proudly.
Sure enough, Stepper seemed far from unstable as he launched another shield straight at the nearest robonoid, all but tearing it in half. He leapt off its remains to plunge another shield into the machine beside it, sending it crashing hard into the ground. All the while, he easily dodged out of the way of the tendrils racing for him, blocking their approach with the shield journal and his own quick thinking.
After watching a third robonoid explode, Peridot let out a frustrated shout as she pushed her remaining machines harder than ever to stop him. “Who do you think you are, you interloping, four-armed… whatever you are?!”
“Who am I?” Stepper echoed with a coy grin. He repositioned his shield journal, readjusting his hat as he held his head high. “It’s funny; I’ve been trying to figure that out all day. But now, I know for sure who–and what–I really am.” He cast another shield to easily deflect the coils Peridot sent speeding for him as he proudly proclaimed. “I’m Stepper, and as long as we’re together, then I’ll never be alone.”
“...Huh?” Peridot raised an eyebrow, not following. Stepper didn’t bother explaining it; he didn’t need to. Not when he knew he was everything he was always supposed to be. So instead, sent even more shields speeding at the remaining robonoid, causing substantial damage in his wake. Still, even he didn’t notice one of the coils coming in from behind until it was too late. It latched tightly onto one of his upper arms, just as one of his lower wrists was tightly trapped. The shield journal fell out of his other upper hand as it was restrained, pulling him high into the air as it pulled all of his captured limps tight. Stepper stifled a pained cry from the strain of it, not losing face even when Peridot drew in to taunt him.
“Well, it looks like you’re all out of options, you ‘Stepper’,” she goaded, grinning smugly. “So what now?”
“Oh, gee, it looks like you’ve really got me, Peridot,” Stepper put on a fake pout. “I’d almost say you won, except…”
“Except what?”
Stepper smiled as he swiftly turned the tides back in his favor. “You forgot my fourth arm.”
He pulled it out from behind his back to reveal the small shield still hovering over it. He threw it hard at Peridot’s robonoid, watching in satisfaction as it tumbled back, badly damaged. The other robonoids under its control followed suit, collapsing to the ground as the connection between them was suddenly severed. Stepper wrenched himself free from their coils, landing squarely on the ground just in time to watch Peridot try and fail to salvage her flagging plain.
“Augh! No!” she shouted as her screens blared with countless errors. “You overly-limbed, malformed abomination of a clod!” she snapped at Stepper, furious. “I’ll make you wish you never came out of the ground! This isn’t the last you’ll see of me! I’m going to complete my mission, no matter what I have to do! Even if I have to come to that miserable planet of yours myself, I’ll-”
Peridot’s threats were ultimately cut off as her robonoid finally exploded, ending her transmission altogether. In the newfound silence that followed, Stepper could only smile at his handiwork, amazed that he’d managed such a feat. And if they could accomplish something like this… there was no telling just what else they could do when they were together, as one.
Still, Stepper loosely hugged himself as he slowly, easily unfused, at least for now. As the light faded from them, Dipper and Steven exchanged a brief, dazzled glance. They didn’t get a chance to say a single word to each other though, before Mabel eagerly pounced upon them both.
“Oh my gosh, you guys, oh my gosh !” she nearly screamed as she pulled the pair into a tight, triumphant hug. “That was so awesome ! You totally kicked Peridot’s butt! Well, not her butt, but her robot’s butts. Wait, do robots have butts?”
“I think what Mabel is trying to say is that you both did a fantastic job!” Pearl enthusiastically praised. “Both of you should be very proud of yourselves.”
“Yeah, you guys totally bailed us out!” Amethyst added, grinning. “Who knew that all it took to beat Peridot’s dumb robots would be four arms and some freaky shield book?”
“I guess we did,” Steven said, chuckling.
“I gotta say,” Dipper began with a wry smirk. “The look on Peridot’s face when we flung that last shield at her? It was-”
“Priceless!” both of the boys finished, sharing a warm, cheerful laugh.
When it was over, Garnet stepped in to rest a hand on each of the boys’ shoulders, smiling down at them both. “It looks like you two managed to find the harmony after all,” she noted, pleased. “And maybe even a bit more than just that…” She laughed softly as Steven and Dipper exchanged a startled gasp, both of them brightly blushing. “I never doubted that you’d come together,” Garnet continued. “You know, some of the strongest fusions are made up of two halves that may seem like total opposites, but they often have more in common than they think they do. Take it from me,” her smile turned a touch more mysterious as she coolly shifted her shades.
“This is so great!” Mabel exclaimed as she looked between the boys. “Since you guys are totally filled with harmony right now, you should totally form Stepper again! I’d love to see all the cool stuff your fancy journal can really do! Please?”
“Eh, I think we’ve had enough of Stepper for one day, Mabel…” Dipper said with a small, tired smile.
“But I’m sure we’ll see him again soon,” Steven assured. “Right, Dipper?”
“I know we will,” Dipper firmly, wholeheartedly returned. “But for now, I think there’s something really important I need to get back to…”
“Let me guess…” Mabel heaved a sigh. “More researching?”
“Nope,” Dipper shook his head as he threw his arms around Steven and Mabel’s shoulders. “Hanging out with you guys.”
“Aw, Dipper!” Steven exclaimed, stars in his eyes. He didn’t hesitate to pull both of the twins into a tight, happy hug, one that the Gems were glad to join in on.
Even after it was over and everyone began to head back through the woods, Steven and Dipper lingered close, walking in step with each other. They didn’t say much, content to listen to Mabel go on about how impressive Stepper had been in battle. But when no one was looking, Dipper slowly and silently took Steven’s hand, lightly linking their fingers together. Steven smiled as he softly squeezed it, meeting Dipper’s fervent, flustered gaze.
Something was starting here, something neither of them were sure they could even really explain. But they couldn’t help but think that for as much as things might’ve changed today, they’d both been changed for the better. They’d both been changed for good.
And so they walked through the woods together with their hands held tight. They walked together with their hearts filled with hope and harmony.
They walked together, so happy to know that from now on, they’d never have to walk alone.
Notes:
Next time... we'll uncover just a few more of Rose Quartz's secrets...
Chapter 28: Rose's Scabbard
Summary:
Steven and the twins make a discovery that leads them to learning more about the ever-mysterious Rose Quartz.
Notes:
Back with a surprisingly short one honestly. Tbh I didn't change this one up too much from the original, I think it was already pretty decent as is. Also I'm sort of speedrunning now that we're out of the fusion chapters to get to the end of S3 (if you know you know what's soon to come heheh). Even so, we might as well get started by uncovering a long-burried scabbard! Let's get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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Surprisingly, not all of the Gems’ missions involved fighting monsters. More often than not, they traveled to check in on long-abandoned ruins or to go searching for some sort of ancient artifact. These harmless, easy endeavors were the kind of quests the Gems were much more willing to bring the kids along on whenever they begged to join them. And today’s trip to a distant, sunny, grove was no exception.
“Whoa,” Steven took in the landscape, fascinated, as soon as they warped in. “I’ve never seen so many strawberries before!” He ran over to one of the larger fruits, which was almost as tall as he was. Plenty more surrounded it, all ranging from massive to miniscule as they thrived in the lush greenery.
“Looks like I wore the right sweater today,” Mabel grinned down at the strawberry stitched onto her sweater. “Oh!” She stopped short, just shy of nearly running into a giant sword sticking out of the ground. “I guess I should get started on a big sword sweater to wear the next time we come here…”
“Um, what’s the deal with all these weapons anyway?” Dipper asked the Gems as he cautiously touched a nearby spear.
“Excellent question, Dipper,” Pearl chimed in with an eager smile. “This field was the site of a historic battle. Every weapon here was left by a Gem over 5,000 years ago!”
“No way!” Steven gasped, amazed. “But… why did they leave all of these things behind?”
“Many of them didn’t even mean to,” Pearl explained. “Most of these weapons serve as the final memorials to the Gems who met their ends here. I don’t like to disturb them, but Garnet says we can’t just leave them lying around.”
Sure enough, Garnet had already pried a massive battle axe out of a patch of strawberries. “Never know when you might need one of these,” she easily slung the weapon over her shoulders.
“I need one of those all the time!” Steven exclaimed, stars in his eyes.
“Me too!” Mabel agreed. “Can we take some giant weapons home too, Pearl?”
“Come on, Mabel,” Dipper scoffed. “These are huge, deadly weapons we’re talking about here. We can’t just carry them back to the shack like they’re some kind of souvenir… Can we?” he asked, looking to Pearl.
“Hm…” Pearl paused to ponder the question. “I suppose there’s no harm in it. But instead of one of these larger weapons, why don’t you kids look for something that’s a bit more… you?”
“Done and done!” Mabel hardly heeded her advice as she rushed over to a tall purple saber. “This one just screams me, doesn’t it?”
“It’s taller than you are,” Dipper dryly pointed out. “How are you even going to get it back over to the warp pad?”
“...Where there’s a will, there’s a way!” Mabel blithely proclaimed. “Now get over here and help me with this thing, will you? It’s gonna look sooooo cool hanging over my bed!”
“As if it’ll even fit over your bed,” Dipper deadpanned. Even so, he joined his sister as she worked to pull the weapon out of the ground. While Amethyst could have helped them, she opted to simply stand by and watch, laughing to herself every time they failed.
Steven perked up when he saw the twins make such an impressive find, hoping to have one of his own. “Ok, Lion! Come help me look!” Despite his enthusiasm, Lion simply walked off in the opposite direction, without so much as sparing Steven a second glance. “Aw, come on!”
“You really need to train that thing better,” Pearl frowned as Lion passed her by.
“We’ve been making progress,” Steven said. “Now he even looks at me when I say his name. Watch: Lion!” Unsurprisingly, Lion was barely listening; instead, he’d taken to digging in a nearby patch of leaves, not even looking back when Steven tried again. “Lion! Lion!” He winced when he caught the doubtful look Pearl was sending his way. “Uh, well, sometimes he does…”
By now, Lion had pulled his head out of the dirt to reveal he’d actually found something. “What’s he got now?” Pearl curiously eyed the object in Lion’s maw. Her suspicion swiftly turned to shock however, as soon as she realized exactly what it was. “It’s the scabbard for Rose’s sword!”
“Really?” Steven watched as Pearl managed to pry the scabbard away from Lion before she shooed him away. From what he could see of it, the scabbard was unsurprisingly pink, as most things related to his mother seemed to be. Still, he couldn’t help but be utterly fascinated by it all the same. “Hey, guys! Get over here and check this out!”
Garnet and Amethyst were the first to head over, and the twins followed soon after, temporarily abandoning their struggle for the sword stuck in the ground. Pearl happily held the scabbard out for all of them to see as they gathered around. Despite being exposed to the elements for untold centuries, it was miraculously intact and immaculate–even if it was noticeably empty.
“Ooo, so pretty…” Mabel cooed, dazzled. “What is it?”
“It’s a scabbard,” Dipper said, only to catch blank looks from Mabel and Steven alike. “You know, the thing you put a sword inside? And to be honest…” he took another glance at it. “This scabbard looks… kind of familiar.”
“What?” Pearl’s smile swiftly fell. “Oh, you must be thinking of a different scabbard. This scabbard has been missing for years now. Why, it’s been centuries since I've even seen it!”
“Uh, no, I’m pretty sure this is it,” Dipper flipped through the journal to a sketch of the very sheath Pearl was holding. “I mean, the author didn’t label it or anything, but they look exactly alike, see?”
Pearl’s eyes widened with alarm as she briefly examined the page. Even so, she was quick to shrug it off as she turned her nose up at the book. “I-I’m sure that’s just a mere coincidence,” she dismissively concluded. “Whoever drew that must’ve only guessed what the scabbard looked like and… somehow got incredibly close to the real thing by accident!”
“A coincidence?” Dipper questioned as he looked back to the journal. “But how would he have-”
“And besides,” Pearl continued. “This isn’t just any ordinary scabbard. This is the scabbard to Rose’s very own sword, the very same weapon she skillfully wielded in battle in this very field centuries ago!”
“Mom fought here?” Steven asked, intrigued.
“That’s right!” Pearl proudly nodded. “And I fought alongside her!”
“Man, I bet that battle was nuts !” Amethyst exclaimed, excited. “I wish I could have seen it!”
“No, you don’t,” Garnet firmly countered. “Countless Gems were broken here. It was a maelstrom of destruction and death-”
“But we won !” Pearl cut in, grinning. “Steven, your mother led us to glorious victory! The odds were against us, and our hearts were uncertain. The enemy’s forces outnumbered our own, but we didn’t give up!” She struck a heroic pose as she continued regaling her epic tale to the captivated kids.
“We chose to fight by Rose’s side as we made our stand against our Homeworld! She was the one who led us to victory that day, and in every battle that followed it. She was the one who brought us together, who inspired all of us to be more than what we were made for…” A soft blue blush dusted Pearl’s cheeks as she held the scabbard a bit closer, a bit tighter, a bit fonder. “She was… exceptional …”
With their newfound treasures in hand, the Gems and the kids left the strawberry battlefield behind. Pearl still held onto the scabbard, even as they warped back into the temple. In fact, she was so distracted by it, that she hardly even paid attention to the others and the much larger weapons they’d managed to haul back with them.
“This is great!” Amethyst grinned down at the armful of smaller swords and flails she’d claimed. “My room’s been needing another pile.”
“Now, be careful with this sword, you two,” Garnet instructed the twins as she lowered the oversized saber into their arms. “It’s very sharp and very heavy.”
“Don’t worry, Garnet,” Mabel assured, confident. “Getting this thing back down to the shack should be a piece of–” She stopped short the second Garnet let go of the sword. Even between the two of them, they weren’t able to keep the weighty blade from slipping out of their hold as it fell to the floor at their feet.
“You were saying?” Dipper raised an eyebrow at his sister.
“Um, Garnet?” Mabel asked. “A little help here?”
“I’m a bit busy,” Garnet grunted as she lifted her own giant ax onto her shoulders, heading to the temple gate. “Amethyst! Help me with this ax!”
“I guess we’ll just have to figure out some way to get it down the hill ourselves then,” Dipper concluded, frowning down at the sword.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Mabel shrugged, smirking. “All we gotta do is round up a bunch of squirrels and build them tiny sleds–or ‘squeds’ as I like to call them–to carry the sword down the hill on. Duh.”
Dipper shot her a baffled look before he finally, flatly deadpanned, “...Honestly, I don’t know why I expected you to come up with anything else.”
For his part, Steven stayed on the warp pad, barely stifling a laugh as he watched the chaos unfold. His attention was soon drawn back over to Pearl as she stood alongside him, letting out a wistful sigh as she stared at the scabbard in her arms. “It’s been ages…” she gently murmured. She quickly snapped out of it, however, when she noticed who was curiously looking up at her. “What is it, Steven?”
Steven hesitated, rubbing his arm as he looked over at the portrait hanging on the far wall of the house. He’d asked this question before, and had gotten plenty of different answers, but he still couldn’t help but wonder once again: “What was Mom like?”
Pearl’s blush only deepened as she glanced up at the portrait herself. “She was… courageous, and brilliant, and beautiful …” She sighed again, warmly smiling down at the scabbard first, then at Steven. “Sometimes, you look so much like her.”
“Really?” Steven asked with a wide, schmutzy grin.
“Er…” Pearl paused to look back at Amethyst and Garnet. Unsurprisingly, they were still trying to simply just get the ax through the temple gate. Likewise, Dipper and Mabel were warped up with arguing over how to even get their saber off the ground, much less how to get it down to the shack. With no one really paying much attention, Pearl figured now was as good a time as any to pass the torch–or rather, the scabbard.
“Hey, Steven,” she said as she held it out to him. “Maybe you should hold onto this…”
“Whoa…” Steven carefully took the scabbard, running a hand over the emblem on its surface. “Thanks, Pearl!”
Pearl’s already soft smile turned a touch sweeter as her gaze slowly drifted back to Rose’s portrait. She could scarcely begin to count all of the emotions stirring inside of her as she softly, longingly adoringly whispered to it instead of Steven, “You’re welcome…”
After plenty of failed plans and false starts, Mabel, Dipper, and Steven somehow managed to get the saber all the way down to the Mystery Shack. Stan saw them coming with it, and he sternly turned down all of Mabel’s begging and pleading to take it inside. Still, he did agree to shove it into the ground right outside of the shack as a way to draw in tourists. A job that was much easier said than done.
“Ok, keep pushing!” Mabel called down from her spot on top of the sword’s hilt. Below her, Stan and Dipper were still trying to dig the tip of the blade deep enough into the ground to keep it standing upright. “I said keep pushing ! It’s barely moved an inch!”
“Well, you know, it might be a little easier if you actually came down here and helped us, Mabel!” Dipper countered, exhausted and annoyed.
“I am helping!” Mabel protested. “I’m sitting up here so I can weigh it down for you guys! Nothing’s more helpful than that.”
“Geez, could you have picked a bigger sword to drag home with you?” Stan scowled as he wiped the sweat from his brow. “My back’s not cut out for this. Why don’t you get over here and do this instead, kid?” He looked over at Steven, who had busied himself with swinging Rose’s scabbard around as if it were an actual sword. “I bet it’d be way more, uh, ‘fun’ than playing around with that girly blunt object you got there is.”
“This isn’t a blunt object, Mr. Pines,” Steven chuckled. “It’s a scabbard that used to belong to my mom! Isn’t it neat?”
Stan only briefly looked at the scabbard, clearly unimpressed as he let out a sneer. “Sure, whatever you say, kid.”
Steven’s smile slowly faded as he looked down at the scabbard again. A memory of a memory stirred, one that he’d seen during their excursion inside Stan’s mind a few weeks ago. He hadn’t gotten to see much of it, thanks to Bill, but what he had seen still left him more than a little curious enough to ask,” Hey, Mr. Pines?”
“Ugh!” Stan grunted as he finally managed to secure the saber into the ground. The sudden movement sent Dipper stumbling back as Mabel fell off the hilt, ultimately landing on top of her brother in a messy heap. Still, Stan didn’t bother checking on either of them as he glared over at Steven. “Yeah, what do you want?”
“You knew my mom when she was still around, right?”
“Tch, yeah, as much as I wished I didn’t,” Stan huffed, indignant.
Steven hardly paid that remark any mind as he perked up and headed over to Stan with the scabbard still in hand. “Then maybe you could tell me more about her! I mean, the Gems are always talking about her, but it’d be nice to get an outside perspective, you know?”
Stan let out an aggravated groan as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Kid, I’m in no mood to open that can of worms right now.”
“What do you mean?” Steven asked, confused. “Did you guys just not get along or…” He hesitated, unsure of how to mention the memory he’d seen without actually mentioning it. “Or did something happen a long time ago that-”
“I’ll tell ya what happened,” Stan hotly cut him off. “Your mom was an annoying busybody who just couldn’t keep her nose out of my business! She’s pretty much the whole reason why it took me so long to get the-” He stopped suddenly, his eyes widening when he realized the twins were listening to him just as intently as Steven was. “Uh… Y-you know what? Never mind. Doesn’t matter anymore anyway now that she’s, uh… out of the picture.”
“Aw, what?” Mabel asked, disappointed. “You can’t just leave it at that!”
“Yeah, seriously, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper agreed. “What happened between you and Rose that made you hate her so much?”
“Like I said, it doesn’t matter,” Stan crossed his arms as he turned away from the kids. “Besides, she still rubbed me the wrong way from the second I met her. She always acted like she was sooo much better than everyone else, like she could do no wrong, like she was perfect-”
“You mean she wasn’t?” Steven questioned.
“Of course not!” Stan exclaimed. “I don’t know what fluffy lies the Gems have been feeding you, kid, but your mom was far from the flawless goddess those three thought she was.”
“And you could tell that much just as soon as you met her?” Dipper asked, doubtful.
“Sure could,” Stan nodded. “When you’ve been in the con game for as long as I have, you learn how to tell when folks are hiding things. And even if I never found out exactly what Rose was hiding, I always had a gut feeling that she wasn’t all she was cracked up to be.”
“That’s quite enough, Stan!”
Out of nowhere, Pearl descended into the shack’s lawn from above, almost as if the mere mention of Rose’s name alone had summoned her. Even more so since that mention had been so blatantly negative.
“Oh, great, the ‘Rose Protection Squad’ is here,” Stan rolled his eyes. “What, did you come down here to worship the ground she used to walk on again?”
“How dare you!” Pearl snapped, furious. “You have no right to talk about Rose like that! You barely even knew her!”
“I knew her enough to figure out that she was a pompous, self-righteous snob,” Stan sullenly sneered. “Just like you, Pearl. Guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Pearl argued. “Rose was kind, and selfless, and honorable, and-”
“And nosy, and stubborn, and a liar ,” Stan coldly finished. “With the time you spent with her, it’s crazy that you never saw her for what she really was.”
“More like she saw you for who you really are!” Pearl fiercely countered. “She knew from the very start that you were nothing more than a cheating, scandalous charlatan !”
“Hey! I don’t know what half of what you called me meant, but I take offense to that!”
“Good! You were supposed to!”
“Oh yeah? Well, I-”
“Stop it!” Steven suddenly cut in. He rushed to stand between them, hoping to simmer things down before they could get any worse than they already were. “Look, I get that you both have really different opinions on Mom, but… if she were here, I think she’d hate to see you guys fighting about her, just like I do!”
Pearl’s fury slowly started to melt away when she heard this. “You’re right…” she admitted, sighing. “She would…”
“And I may not be an expert about what Mom would have done,” Steven continued with a small, pleading smile. “I’m sure she would have wanted to see you make and get along. Please?”
Stan and Pearl both bristled, neither of them keen on being the first to cave. In the end though, Stan ultimately shrugged, still scowling as he turned to head back inside. “Whatever,” he dismissively waved his hand. “I’ve had enough drama for one day. I’m gonna go, uh, take a nap or something.”
Still, Stan stopped short just shy of the shack’s door, sparing one last glare over his shoulder back at Pearl. “But you know, one of these days, you’re gonna wake up and realize that Rose wasn’t as wonderful as you think she was. And when you do, I’ll be right there to give you the biggest ‘I told you so’ you’ve ever heard!”
Pearl simply scoffed as Stan slammed the door shut behind him. As much as she didn’t want him to get the last word, she decided to let it go for now when she noticed the set of worried stares she was getting. “Oh, kids…” she rubbed her arm, glancing away. “I’m sorry you had to hear all that. But I just couldn’t stand Stan trying to besmirch Rose’s good name like that! Especially when not a single thing he said about her was anything close to true.”
“It sounds like things between Rose and Grunkle Stan weren’t just bad,” Mabel noted, frowning. “They were really, really bad.”
“Yeah, but I still don’t get why ,” Dipper said. “What happened that could’ve made them have such a problem with each other?”
“I might know…” Steven muttered, only to himself. Because that memory, one from seemingly so long ago, could have very well been the source of all of the bitterness between Stan and Rose. A memory he had no context for, no beginning, and no ending. A memory that even Pearl didn’t seem to know about as she offered up a completely different explanation instead.
“It’s quite simple really,” she began with a haughty grin. “Rose was always as honest as she could possibly be, while someone like Stan doesn’t know the meaning of the word honesty. So it only makes sense that there’d be tension between someone as morally upright as her and someone as shady and unscrupulous as… him .”
Pearl shot a sharp look back over at the shack before she quickly brightened up and changed the subject. “ Anyway , all that nonsense aside, Steven, how are you liking that scabbard?”
“Liking it? I’m loving it!” Steven happily held it high over his head. “I’ve been practicing with it ever since we left the temple. If anything comes out of the woods to attack us, I’ll bop ‘em with this!”
“That’s just the scabbard, Steven,” Pearl couldn’t help but laugh. “It held your mother’s sword. Nothing else could fit so perfectly inside. For all this time, it’s been… incomplete.”
“Well, let’s complete it then!” Steven boldly exclaimed.
“Yeah!” Mabel agreed. “Let’s find that sword and shove it in there! Where is it anyway?”
Pearl hesitated, even as all three of the kids curiously looked to her for answers only she could give. “I-it’s been missing for years now…” she admitted. “I know where it might be, but… it’s a secret.”
“A secret?!” Steven loudly, excitedly gasped.
“Shh!” Pearl swiftly silenced him as she knelt down to his level. “Keep your voice down, Steven. It’s a secret, even to Garnet and Amethyst.”
“Really?” Dipper pressed, immensely intrigued. “What kind of secret?”
“A very special one,” Pearl kept her voice low as she stood. “Rose had a special place she kept hidden from all but me. But Steven, you have her gem. That place is yours now! And I can show it to you! If Rose’s sword is anywhere, it would be there.”
“Wow…” Steven muttered, stars in his eyes.
Mabel was every bit as impressed as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. “This place sounds so cool and mysterious! Can we go see it right now, Pearl? Can we? Can we?”
“Um… well…” Pearl winced as she looked away. She didn’t want to say it aloud and she certainly didn’t want to upset either of the twins. But this was one secret she intended to only share with Steven and Steven alone. But instead of letting either of them know that, she opted to let them down much more gently.
“This place, it’s… not exactly the easiest to access,” she began on something of a lie. “True, it is right here in Gravity Falls, but it's buried deep underground. And besides, its entrance is rather… taboo to most humans. Rose hoped to ward off intruders by hiding it away within the town cemetery and-”
“Wait, a magic Gem place hidden in the cemetery?” Steven piped up. “Why does that sound so familiar…?”
“Because it is familiar!” Dipper exclaimed in realization. “Pearl, this place you’re talking about… I think we’ve been there before!”
“W-what?” Pearl froze, surprised.
“Oh, yeah!” Mabel said, grinning. “That super sparkly cave filled with all those weird weapons! We found it on Pioneer Day while we were being chased by the cops. Good times, good times.”
“S-sparkly cave… filled with weapons?!” Pearl exclaimed, aghast. “But how did you–no,” she sternly shook her head. “There’s no way you kids could have been there before. You three must be thinking of some other place, certainly!”
“Well, why don’t we just take you there ourselves?” Dipper suggested. “That way, you can tell us whether or not it's the same place.”
“Hm… Very well,” Pearl reluctantly agreed. She did her best to ignore her slowly-growing dread as she followed the kids along on the path heading into town. As she desperately hoped that one of the final few precious secrets she and Rose had shared hadn’t been defiled after all. “I suppose it's worth a look…”
Pearl kept quiet for most of the trip to the cemetery, but she was only barely able to hold back her alarm when the kids led her to an all-too-familiar statue once they were there. She watched with wide eyes as the kids easily activated the hidden switch on its finger, revealing the underground entryway just beneath it. Still, she kept as much of a straight face as she could as she followed the kids into the dark tunnel, hoping against hope that they’d veer off course and wind up somewhere else.
Even if she knew this path only led to one place.
“So, is this looking familiar yet, Pearl?” Steven asked, smiling as he walked alongside her.
“Oh, well, uh…” Pearl glanced around at the tunnel she’d been in plenty of times before. Not that she’d ever admit that so openly to the kids. “It might look… a little familiar. But I’ve seen plenty of dark, winding corridors in my day, so it’s really too soon to say for certain if this is the one that leads to Rose’s private sanctum.”
“Why’s this place such a big secret anyway?” Mabel wondered. “Is it because of all the awesome Gem weapons stashed there?”
“Er–perhaps,” Pearl apprehensively answered. “But there are plenty of other places all over the Earth where Gem weapons have been left behind, like that battlefield we went to earlier. The weapons that Rose held onto were far more powerful and far more unique than any of those, which is why she decided to hide them away somewhere they’d be safe and secure until she ever needed them.”
“So, if the only thing that’s really ‘secret’ about this place are those weapons, then why didn’t Rose tell anyone but you about it, Pearl?” Dipper asked.
“Well, that’s because I was Rose’s sole confidant,” Pearl proudly explained. “For the words and secrets she could share with no one else, I was there to listen!”
“Why’d she keep so many secrets?” Steven asked, frowning.
“She had to, Steven!” Pearl insisted. “It’s the mark of a great leader. Knowing just what to keep hidden from everyone you’re trying to protect. Everyone except me !”
Dipper was the first to find the flaws in that logic, if only because he’d heard that excuse plenty of times before. “But how is hiding things from people supposed to protect them?”
“Yeah, wouldn’t it have been easier for Rose to just tell everyone everything?” Mabel added. “Then everyone could have been in on those secrets and-”
“And then they wouldn’t have been secrets anymore,” Pearl finished, shaking her head. “I don’t think you kids really understand. Then again, how could you? None of you have ever had to face any of the life-or-death dilemmas of a planet-wide war before, not like Rose did. Believe me when I say that everything she did–and all of the secrets she kept from others–it was all for the greater good.”
The kids exchanged a glance at this. For as much as Pearl’s argument may have made sense, in many other ways, it didn’t. If anything, it all simply sounded like Pearl was defending Rose, but against what, they had no idea. With that in mind, what Stan had told them earlier might've actually rung true. Rose could do no wrong in Pearl’s eyes. Even if, to everyone else, the decisions she’d made didn’t always make much sense. Even if the secrets she kept seemed too plentiful, too great.
Even if Pearl still harbored some of Rose's secrets that even she couldn’t share.
By the time they reached the end of the tunnel, Pearl couldn’t deny it any longer. The second they stepped into the shimmering shallows flooding the cavern, she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, exactly where they were. All she could do was stand by and watch as the kids splashed into the cavern undaunted, as if they’d been there before, which they apparently had .
“Here we are!” Steven hopped up onto the central platform.
“Ah, this place hasn’t changed a bit!” Mabel grinned as she glanced around. “It’s just like how I remember it looking when we found ol’ President Trembly in here a few weeks ago!”
“President Trem–You found him here ?! In Rose’s secret armory?” Pearl exclaimed, shocked. “But I thought… Oh, I don’t know, he just broke out of that peanut brittle and wandered his way back up to the surface somehow!”
“No, this is definitely where we found him,” Dipper countered. “Connie was with us, and uh, so was Pacifica Northwest. Also, we… might’ve accidentally led the cops here. Apparently, it was a matter of ‘national security’, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire U.S. government knew about this place by now.” He paused, quickly backpedaling when he noticed the distraught look on Pearl’s face. “B-but hey! Maybe they don’t!” he tried to reassure before muttering, “Though that’s a pretty big ‘maybe’...”
“That’s… n-no,” Pearl sharply shut her rising fears down. “That’s not possible. Rose and I are the only ones who have witnessed the armory’s magnificence before now!”
“Except for us!” Steven insisted. “But when we first found it, we didn’t really know what it was, if that helps any…”
“It doesn’t ,” Pearl took to pacing as a way to try in vain to ease her stress. “How did you kids even find out about the armory in the first place?! Don’t tell me there’s somehow an entry on it in that… that journal , of all things, is there?”
“Hm… well, there’s no entries on it,” Dipper pulled the book out, flipping through it.
“Well, that’s a relief,” Pearl sighed. But that relief didn’t last long when Dipper continued.
“But it was what led us here…”
“ What ?!”
“Yeah, it led us to a bunch of really fun clues about how to get here,” Mabel explained. “Me and Steven figured them out like the total mystery-solving pros we are.”
“Clues?” Pearl asked, incredulous. “But… Rose would have never left any clues behind about how to find this place. Much less with some… random stranger for him to share with the world in his silly little book!”
“Hey! It’s not silly!” Dipper protested, frustrated. “It’s-”
“And besides,” Pearl made a point of cutting him off. “Whatever so-called ‘clues’ you found certainly couldn’t have been enough to lead you here alone.”
“Oh, they weren’t,” Steven corrected. “Lion brought us here.”
“The lion?!” Pearl questioned, baffled.
“Yeah,” Mabel nodded. “He roared super loud and it crashed through the wall and then we were here, in this super-pretty, super-sparkly, super-secret cave!”
“And there’s all sorts of great stuff hidden here too,” Steven added as he approached the pedestal.
“I know!” Pearl huffed. “That’s why I wanted to bring you here! Now, let me show you how you can access the artillery.”
“That’s ok!” Steven brightly reassured. “I can do it without you.”
“W-what?” Pearl could only stand by and watch as Steven slapped his hand onto the pedestal. Nothing happened at first–not a single weapon emerged from the massive collection–and he soon realized why.
“Oh, that’s right!” he glanced over at the twins. “You guys mind lending a hand again?”
“You bet!” Mabel enthusiastically ran over to him. Dipper joined her on Steven’s other side as they worked together to bring the armory out into the open.
“Ok… go!” Steven exclaimed. Mabel started by poking him on the cheek, summoning the first collection of weapons up on the platform’s far side. “We got some axes!”
“The Axes of Ages…?” Pearl muttered, eyes wide.
The axes were switched out for an array of flails as Dipper pushed Steven’s shoulder. “We got spikey chain lady and her metal dealies!” Mabel listed, grinning.
“The Heretic’s Anguish?!”
“And a three-pack of Light Cannons,” Dipper added after Mabel tapped Steven’s nose.
“The Quartizine Trio!”
“Oh, and a whole lot of armor guys,” Steven reported when the twins poked both of his sides.
“The Armor of the Fallen!”
By now, all three of the kids could tell just how upset and unnerved Pearl was getting with each new weapon that emerged. Realizing they ought to wrap it up, Steven looked over at her and asked, “Um, what were we looking for again?”
“Her sword! Your mother’s sword!” Pearl projected a holographic image of the blade in question from her gemstone. “It’s a straight-edged saber that’s pink with a red handle. There are vines etched in the guard that connect to a rose-shaped pommel. And it-”
“Oh! We’ve seen that before too!” Mabel suddenly exclaimed.
Pearl froze, alarmed, as her projection swiftly disappeared. “Huh?”
“Yeah, actually, we found it right after we found this place,” Dipper added as he exchanged a knowing glance with Steven.
“And I know where it is now!” he eagerly exclaimed. “Come on, I can show you!”
Once again, Pearl found she could do nothing but follow the kids as they led the way out of the armory. As they led her straight to everything she thought she’d guarded so well, everything they somehow all already knew .
To all of the secrets that suddenly, somehow weren’t so secret anymore.
“Dadadadadadada… here it is!” Steven sang as he pulled the pink blade out of Lion’s mane. He and the twins had gathered all three of the Gems back at the temple so they could watch as they finally reunited Rose’s sword with its scabbard. Needless to say, no one was more shocked than Pearl when she found out exactly where it had been hidden all these years.
“R-Rose’s sword…” she faltered when Steven handed the weapon over to her. “But… how did it get in there?”
Steven shrugged. “There’s tons of stuff in there. I keep stuff in him too!” To prove his point, Steven leapt straight into Lion’s mane. He emerged a moment later, riding on the bicycle he’d stashed away in there some time ago. “Ta da!” he rang its bell as he rode it around the den. “By the way, Mabel, here’s that ice cream cone you asked me to store in there last week.”
“Thanks, Steven!” Mabel readily grabbed it and took a lick. “No way! It’s still cold and everything! Just like I knew it would be!”
“It has grass on the other side of it,” Dipper dryly pointed out.
“Well, since this grass came out of a magical lion’s mane, I’m sure it’ll taste just as magical.” Mabel put this theory to the test, only to end up choking on that grass. “Ugh! I was wrong! I was so wrong!”
“So, how’d you figure out that sword was in there anyway?” Amethyst asked Steven. “What, did that ol’ journal tell you about it?”
“No, but it’s in here,” Dipper held the journal up along with his blacklight. Under its glow, Rose’s sword shined through in its scabbard, hidden before, but now clear to see. “It was pretty cool on the author’s part to draw it using invisible ink.”
“Yeah, it was,” Steven enthusiastically agreed. “It’s like some sort of blacklight bonus!”
“It’s not ‘cool’ in the slightest,” Pearl harshly cut in. “None of this is!”
“Is… something wrong, Pearl?” Mabel asked, confused and concerned.
“What’s wrong is that book!” she snapped, glaring down at the journal in Dipper’s arms. “Spying on us from afar and jotting down a few notes is one thing, but to know about Rose’s sanctum, her sword, about her so intimately and accurately… How did this ‘author’ person even get any of that information!?”
“Maybe he really was someone you guys used to know back when Mom was still around,” Steven suggested. “And he just… I don’t know, wrote the journal without telling you?”
“I don’t know…” Dipper countered as he leafed through the book. “There isn’t really anything in here that makes it sound like the author was trying to keep the fact that he was writing about you three a secret. In fact, there’s actually a bunch of places where he makes it sound like you helped him with his research on Gravity Falls.”
“Oh yeah?” Amethyst asked, doubtful. “Like what?”
“Like this,” Garnet took the journal when Dipper handed it over to her. She honed in on the entry he pointed out to her, reading it aloud for the others. “Today the Gems presented me with another odd magical item they found in their travels: the Cloak of Occasional Visibility. This mysterious article makes its wearer completely invisible—half of the time. The other half of the time, it flickers on and off again, usually at the worst possible moment, while you wander around trying to find a good invisibility ‘signal’. Very frustrating. In fact, it’s so frustrating that the Gems professed that it never works for them, so they found it best to give it to me. Not that I’ll ever have much use for such a thing, but all the same, I appreciate the thought.”
“T-the Cloak of Occasional Visibility?” Pearl balked, bewildered. “But we didn’t give that thing away to anyone! We just lost it! D-didn’t we?”
Garnet simply shrugged, not having much of an answer. Amethyst took the journal next, flipping through a few more pages before she landed on another interesting entry. “Oh! This one’s about that creepy bunker we went to the other day. Listen up: We found a location for our hidden storage bunker! Rose had originally suggested that we could keep our supplies within the temple, or more specifically, in Amethyst’s room, but seeing as how I’ve actually been inside of that disastrous mess before, I don’t think storing our extremely dangerous equipment in there would have been a very wise idea. Hey!” Amethyst protested, offended. “My room is not a mess. I have a system , Mr. Author-Guy.”
“H-he’s been inside the temple too?!” Pearl frantically glanced back at the gate. “Who would have ever opened the gate for him? I know I never let some strange, unknown wander into the temple.”
“Neither did I,” Garnet said, crossing her arms.
“Don’t look at me,” Amethyst shook her head.
“Maybe it was Mom?” Steven innocently suggested.
“But that’s… that’s just preposterous!” Pearl bitterly exclaimed. “There’s never been a human Rose trusted enough to take into the temple before. And even if there had been, we would have known him too!”
“But we didn’t know him,” Garnet calmly countered. “And I think it might be time we finally come to terms with that, Pearl.”
“But it doesn’t make any sense! Give me that thing!” Pearl suddenly swiped the journal out of Amethyst’s hands. She furiously flipped through its pages, hoping to find any evidence to prove her right. Only to find the exact opposite instead.
“It ’s clear to me now that in these uncertain times, the only one I can still turn to is my original research partner, the Gem I would trust my life with, Rose Quartz,” Pearl read. It wasn’t lost on any of the others, how she only grew more unsteady and distraught with each passing word. “In light of everything that’s happened, I feel as though Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl would shun me, but Rose has never been so quick to judge. Even if the bond between us has been tested, it still stands all the same. I was always able to bear my secrets to her, just as she often entrusted her own secrets to me. I can only hope that she’ll understand. She has to understand. She’s the only one I…” Pearl trailed off, her voice breaking as she softly finished the solemn entry, “ T-the only one he only I still completely trust…”
The journal snapped shut as Pearl turned away from the others, holding the book tight against her chest. A beat of awkward silence passed between the others, and no one knew quite what to say until Amethyst casually piped up first. “So, uh… I guess that sorta proves that author guy really did know Rose, even if we didn’t. I mean, it is sorta weird that she never introduced us to him or anything, but it’s not like it’s the end of the world or anything.”
Pearl spun back around when she heard this, making no effort to hide just how livid she truly was. “No!” she shouted fiercely. “There’s no possible way Rose could have known the author, because if she had, then I would have known him too! And even if I had, Rose wouldn’t have imparted her most precious secrets to some… some nobody !”
Some nobody, who somehow knew so much even when they knew so little about him. And if he knew that much, if he had found his way into so many of Rose’s best kept-secrets…
Pearl shuddered to think of what else he might have known. To imagine someone, anyone stumbling upon the biggest secret of them all.
“W-well,” Steven cut through her racing thoughts when he spoke up. “What about Mom’s, uh… super secret place?” he asked, dropping his voice down to a whisper. “You knew about that.”
“The author sorta knew about that too though, didn’t he?” Mabel asked, aside.
“Shh!” Dipper quickly quitted her. After all, the last thing he or Steven wanted was to set Pearl off even more than she already was.
“And… Oh! The sword!” Steven added. “You knew about the sword!”
“Yeah, and I don’t think the author even knew where it was hidden,” Dipper pointed out. “The journal never mentions Lion at all.”
“I didn’t know anything about him either!” Pearl glared at the pink cat. She approached him and his magical mane, determined to learn more, until Lion gave her a stern, warning growl. “Did… did Lion have something to do with Rose too?”
“Oooh, of course!” Amethyst exclaimed. “ That’s why he’s pink!”
“It was a little obvious,” Garnet flatly agreed.
“But… Rose didn’t have a lion,” Pearl shook her head.
“Well, it sure seems like it’s her stuff in there,” Steven said as he pushed his bike back into Lion’s mane.
“No!” Pearl harshly protested. “Rose didn’t have a lion, because if Rose had a lion, I would have known about it! And the same goes for that author person, whoever he was!”
“Rose kept many things secret,” Garnet rationalized, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Even from us. If she didn’t see fit to tell us about Lion or the author, then she must have had a good reason for it.”
“But she never kept secrets from me !” Pearl stressed as she pulled away. “I was the one she told everything to!”
“Yo, you’re not the only one who misses her!” Amethyst argued, scowling.
“You can’t understand how I feel!” Pearl practically shouted. In one arm, she clung onto the journal, and in the other was Rose’s sheathed sword. Both the sources of all of her pain, both things she refused to let go of, even now, especially now. “None of you had what we had!”
“S-she probably just wanted to protect you,” Steven offered. “Like everyone else.”
“Yeah, I mean, you did say so yourself,” Dipper carefully reminded. “She kept secrets from everyone for, uh, the ‘greater good’, or something like that.”
“And that it was the mark of a great leader!” Mabel added much more enthusiastically.
“That’s right,” Steven nodded with an earnest, anxious smile. “It’s probably just like Garnet said. Mom must have had a good reason for not telling you-”
“How would you know?! You never even met her!”
Pearl’s furious voice wasn’t all that rang through the temple when she said this. She slammed her fist hard into the wall behind her, only a few feet below where Rose’s portrait hung. The sudden jolt knocked it loose, sending it tumbling down, straight toward Pearl, who could only gasp up at it, at Rose as the image of her fell.
And as everything she ever thought she knew about her fell along with it.
Fortunately, Garnet stepped in to stop the portrait just in time. She held it steady, even as Pearl stood, trembling silently just behind her. She didn’t say a word, didn’t even bother looking over at Steven, or at anyone else for that matter.
Instead, she simply took the sword and the journal alike… and she ran .
“Fine, go!” Amethyst angrily yelled after her as she warped away. “Go cry about it, just like you always do!”
“Aw, poor Pearl!” Mabel exclaimed, genuinely worried. “We’ve gotta go after her and make sure she’s ok!”
“Not to mention, she still has the journal! We have to get it back!” Dipper added, alarmed. He caught himself, however, when he caught the critical looks Steven and Mabel were both sending his way. “And, uh, also go check on Pearl, just like you said.”
“Where did she go?” Steven turned to the other two Gems for answers.
“Who cares?” Amethyst sullenly crossed her arms. “I hate it when she gets like this.”
“Garnet?” Steven pressed, but she offered no reply. Instead, she stayed where she was, still holding Rose’s portrait up, unable to speak to any of her own warring emotions. When she didn’t even glance over at Steven, he decided he might as well take the initiative in her and Amethyst’s stead.
He might as well be the one to bring their team back together again, just like his mother must have done before him.
“We’re going to find her,” he turned to the twins, resolved. “Lion, do you know where she went?” For his part, Lion simply let out a sleepy roar. Still, it was more than enough for Steven. “I’m going to assume that means you do.”
“Let’s go!” Mabel proclaimed as Steven pulled her and Dipper onto Lion’s back behind him. With a single, mighty roar, Lion opened up a portal all his own, one that would hopefully take them right to Pearl before she could slip too far away from them.
It was only as the kids rode through that portal that Garnet finally looked up to offer them a soft and uncertain, “Good luck.”
As it turned out, Pearl returned to the very same place the day had begun: the strawberry battlefield. Night had fallen over the oversized fruits, leaving the entire landscape bathed in silver moonlight. Under that light, the kids easily spotted who they were looking for almost as soon as Lion’s portal landed them there.
“Pearl!” Steven called when he saw her. She glared back at them, still clinging onto the journal and the sword, with no signs of letting either of them go.
“Leave me alone!” she yelled back just shy of sprinting away. The kids exchanged a glance, unsure of what she was really running from: them, or something else altogether. Still, they hadn’t come all this way to simply leave without her.
Lion summoned another portal to help them catch up to her. Pearl gasped, alarmed, when they emerged alongside her, prompting her to run even faster to get away. “Wait for us!” Steven shouted, pushing Lion as fast as he could go. “We just wanna help you!”
“Yeah!” Mabel added just as fervently. “If you slow down a bit, then I’m sure we can all just sit down and talk all of this really heavy stuff out and-”
“No, we can’t !” Pearl sharply shut such an idea down. “Now, get that thing away from me,” she hatefully glared at Lion. “And all of you, go home!”
She briefly stopped at the edge of a cliff, though there was still a path for her to take upward, across several floating patches of earth. She didn’t hesitate to follow it, to escape from everything that stood to remind her of everything she’d lost. Of everything she might have never even had in the first place.
Without another word, Pearl took a high leap, jumping along the broken path without any signs of slowing down. Lion stopped just shy of the cliff's edge as the kids watched Pearl continue to flee. At this point, none of them had much of an idea of what to do or say to stop her–
But Steven still had to try all the same.
“You better sit this one out, Lion,” he hopped down, patting the pink cat’s side. He hesitated, rubbing his neck as he looked away from the twins before saying, “Uh… actually, maybe you guys should too?”
“Aw, what?” Mabel frowned, disappointed. “But we wanna help you help Pearl!”
“I know, but…” Steven took a glance up to the highest cliff, to where Pearl had already disappeared out of sight. “I think this is something I need to do on my own.”
Before Mabel could protest again, Dipper cut her off. “We understand,” he said, offering Steven a small, hopeful smile. “We’ll be waiting right here for you. Good luck, Steven.”
“Thanks,” Steven turned back to the daunting path–and the daunting task–ahead of him. “Pearl!” he called as he took his first leap. He clumsily landed on the first floating patch, struggling to stay steady on top of it. “I-it’s ok! I had a talk with Lion and he’s gonna, uh, chill out here! It’ll be just the two of us, nice and private!”
“Do you think he can actually make it all the way up there on his own?” Dipper wondered with a worried frown.
The twins paused to watch Steven nearly fall into the endless chasm below as he jumped to the next platform. “Eh, I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Mabel said, shrugging.
Despite the danger, Steven kept going. By the time he reached the platform closest to the cliff, he was breathless and exhausted, but he still forced a smile as he shouted up to Pearl again. “T-this is really hard to do in sandals!” he joked with a feeble laugh.
“Go away!” Pearl yelled over the edge of the cliff at him.
“Pearl!” Steven called back, much more seriously this time. “Did I… Did I do something wrong? You gotta tell me!”
Pearl didn’t answer, not that Steven was really expecting her to. From his spot on the last floating patch, he backed up before giving himself a running start. And then, with all of the hope he had to spare, he jumped as high and as far as he could possibly go.
For a moment, for just a moment, he glided through the open night air. Far below, Lion and the twins watched, eyes wide, as Steven sailed straight for the final cliff. It almost seemed like he’d actually make it too, until–
Until he caught sight of Pearl. Until he saw Rose’s sword in her hands, hovering high over the journal as it lay on the grassy ground at her feet. Until he realized exactly what she planned on doing, the connection she was so desperate to sever in any way she could, until-
“Pearl!” Steven called for her once more, just before she could bring the sword down.
Pearl’s head snapped up. And when he saw her face, so filled with grief, with anger, with betrayal -
He fell .
“Steven!” Pearl dropped the sword the second she saw him miss the edge of the cliff. The twins echoed her cry from the ground below, fearfully watching as Steven plummeted through the air. He only barely managed to catch himself by grabbing hold of the vines dangling from the side of the cliff. As he clung on for dear life, he looked back up, only to find Pearl peering down at him from high above. Still, she didn’t move to help him, didn’t even say a word, before she disappeared from sight all over again.
“Steven!” Dipper shouted up to him. “Are you ok?”
“Uh… yeah!” Steven glanced back. By now, his knuckles were white from hanging onto the vines so tightly, but he didn’t plan on letting go anytime soon.
“You want us to come up there and help you out?” Mabel offered.
“N-no!” Steven called as he steeled himself for the climb ahead of him. “I got this!” He heaved a sigh as he started scaling the vines. Somehow, he had a feeling whatever awaited at the top would be far more of a challenge than even this. Even so, he whispered to himself, forcing himself to find a way to believe it: “I got this…”
After what felt like an eternity, Steven finally reached the top of the cliff. He heaved himself up onto solid ground, lying there for a moment or two to catch his breath. Still, he looked over and found Pearl, sitting a distance away, her knees pulled to her chest as her shoulders shook with silent sobs. She hadn’t ended up stabbing the journal after all; instead, it sat alongside Rose’s sword on the ground right beside her. Slowly, Steven got to his feet and took a small step toward her. But he stopped in his tracks when he heard her finally speak.
“To think that she would entrust her secrets, secrets that she only ever shared with me and me alone… to a complete and utter stranger… ” she muttered, keeping her sights set on the journal. “Who was he? Why didn’t I know him? Why did he matter so much to her that she would trust him… over me? Did… did she tell him? About everything? About who she really-”
She suddenly cut herself off, tightly pressing both hands against her mouth. Steven frowned as he watched her shudder; even if he didn’t truly understand what she was going through, there was no doubt it was painful. And right now, the only thing Steven truly wanted… was to help make that pain go away.
“P-Pearl,” he began, taking another step closer. “Pearl, you have to tell me what’s wrong.”
A small, bitter laugh slipped out when Pearl heard this. “Sometimes… you even sound like her…” Her hand dug into the grass beside her. “Do you remember this place? Do you have any of her memories? We were right here.” She finally stood as Steven stopped just behind her. “It was over 5,000 years ago, on a night just like this one…”
Steven watched, eyes wide, as another projection flushed out of Pearl’s gemstone. Even from behind, and even though he’d never seen her in person, Steven instantly knew who she was. Pearl bowed low to one knee behind her, and when “Rose” finally turned to face her, she spoke for both of them.
And she shared a story she’d never, ever forget.
“Pearl…” Rose began. Pearl made her voice sound both soft and grave before she switched back to her own as she looked up at her intently.
“Yes?”
A look of deep remorse washed over Rose’s face as she forced herself to look away from Pearl. “I’m going to stay and fight for this planet. The things that live here… they’re all so precious and special… They deserve to live and thrive and be free . And so… I’m going to do all I can to give them that freedom. This war… it won’t be easy, and it won’t be short. You don’t have to do this with me.”
“B-but I want to!” Pearl protested without a moment’s doubt or hesitation. “I want to stand by your side! To be there for you, every step of the way!”
“I know you do,” Rose sighed sadly. “But this isn’t as simple as you think it is. It’s not just about fighting and battles and the other Gems… It’s about what comes after all this is over. Please, please understand: if we lose, we’ll be killed. And if we win… then we can never go home.”
Pearl could only smile, shaking her head as she warmly, lovingly said, “Why would I ever want to go home, if you’re here?”
Rose started, surprised for a beat. And then, she let out a gentle, adoring laugh. Her smile remained as she extended a hand down to Pearl and sweetly said, “My Pearl…”
“You’re wonderful…” Pearl blissfully returned. But the moment she took Rose’s hand, the hologram burst into bits of light as the memory came to an end. Pearl’s hand fell back into her lap, tears still hanging heavy in her eyes as silence filled into the space between her and Steven. When she finally broke it, her voice was quiet and filled with yearning for all that had been lost a long time ago. For all she was slowly starting to realize she’d never get back.
“Everything I ever did, I did for her…” she said, turning her tearful gaze toward the stars. “I followed her to the ends of the Earth and trusted every last word she said. And she trusted me too… or at least, that’s what I thought…” She only spared a brief glance at the journal. She couldn’t bear to look at it, to think about everything it represented, everything that it might’ve meant. It carried so many questions, too many questions only Rose held the answers to.
Rose, or the unknown author, who seemed to be every bit as much of a fading memory as she was.
“Now she’s gone…” Pearl struggled to admit it out loud, but she did nonetheless. There was no denying it now, no matter how much it hurt. “But I’m still here. Sometimes I wonder if she can see me through your eyes.” She sighed, shame slipping into her voice as she shook her head. “What would she think of me now…?”
Pearl gasped, startled, when a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around her from behind. Steven rested his head on her shoulder, filling the gaps his mother left behind in the only way he could when he said, “Well, I think you’re pretty great.”
If Pearl was already on the verge of breaking down, that was what pushed her over the edge entirely. She choked on a sob, with plenty more following as Steven continued to hold onto her. They stayed like that for a while, with no words proving enough to say what either of them were truly feeling. Even when they eventually broke apart, the most Pearl had to offer Steven was a small, soft apology. He warmly accepted it before he took her hand and began to lead her back down to earth–
Just like his mother always used to do whenever she drifted too far.
Dipper and Mabel were relieved to see them both return. Pearl offered the twins a frail smile as she ultimately handed the journal back to Dipper. Likewise, she turned Rose’s sword over to Steven, entrusting it into his care. Still, she was surprised when he placed her hand back onto the blade. When he silently reminded her that she wasn’t wrong for remembering Rose, for loving her, even still.
And for the first time in a long time, Pearl decided to let herself believe that.
Lion’s eyes glowed as he bowed low, allowing Steven and Pearl to return the sword and scabbard alike to the safety of his mane. And yet, Steven didn’t stop there. He reached further into the mane, pulling out a string of hankies as a playful “magic” trick in the hopes of cheering Pearl up. The twins joined his efforts, helping him pull even more out of Lion’s mane as they all cracked jokes and jabs along the way. Pearl slowly found herself smiling, even laughing a little. But her interest only truly peaked when Dipper passed the journal back to her, pointing out a passage she’d never seen before. One that shifted everything Pearl thought she knew about this book and its mysterious author altogether:
“If there’s one thing about the Crystal Gems that can’t be denied, the breadth and depth of Pearl’s devotion to Rose. Her every word, thought, and action all show her undying loyalty to her leader and her cause. While some might call this kind of behavior obsessive or even manic, I find her dedication to be admirable, and Rose agrees.
She once confided in me that Pearl’s resolve serves as a constant source of inspiration to her–it has from the second they arrived on this planet together centuries ago. To pledge oneself to another, not out of fear or obligation, but out of the deepest kind of love and respect… It’s no wonder that kind of loyalty would inspire someone as inspirational as even Rose Quartz herself.”
Teardrops fell onto the page far before Pearl finished reading it. Even if she didn’t know the author, the author knew of her, of the way she felt towards Rose and of the way Rose felt about her. She might’ve once thought the author mattered more to Rose than she ever had. But now, reading this, learning just how easily he had seen that someone as spectacular as Rose had truly, wholeheartedly admired her after all?
Maybe, just maybe, the author, whoever he’d been, might not have been so bad after all.
She thanked Dipper for showing her that as she returned the journal to him. At the same time, Steven called for her attention to show her the latest find he was pulling out of Lion’s mane: a pink battle flag, tattered, but still in-tact. A flag that Pearl knew well, one that represented the stand she had Rose had made here, in this very battlefield, eons ago.
She decided to tell the kids the story of that battle, of all of the bravery and boldness they’d shown in it. They took a seat against Lion, captivated as Pearl dramatically recounted her tale. She reenacted it, how she had stood alongside Rose and the other Crystal Gems as they fought back against their former Homeworld for the sake of the Earth and everything living thing upon it. Just one of the many battles they’d waged for the planet they’d all come to care so much about, the planet they gave up everything to save.
By the time Pearl’s story came to an end, everyone decided it was finally time to leave the battlefield for the night. Pearl sat atop Lion with the flag slung over her shoulders; behind her, the twins were both half asleep and in front of her, Steven smiled as he led Lion back to the warp pad. She stared down at him, unsure of what to say, unsure of what to even think, really.
Steven was so much like his mother, so much that sometimes it practically hurt Pearl to look at him. And yet… for all the ways he was just like Rose, in so many other ways he wasn’t . She wondered what Rose would think of her son, so filled with quiet compassion, with earnest patience, with the kind of kindness that was so rare among the rest of Gemkind?
What would she think of her son, who could somehow see straight through to the heart in ways even she never could?
As Lion slowly padded his way through the battlefield, Pearl couldn’t help but continue to ponder it all. For all of the years she’d spent at Rose’s side, she knew so many of her secrets. One in particular still weighed heavy on her heart, one that they had never spoken of from the second it was made. Rose couldn’t have shared that secret with the author–she wouldn’t have shared it with anyone other than Pearl.
And perhaps, for the first time ever, she felt no pride in being the only left to know it.
Because she longed to tell Steven, to tell everyone, but she couldn’t , no matter how hard she tried. Sure enough, Rose had kept plenty of secrets to protect her friends, and even some secrets to protect her too, just as Pearl had always strived to protect her–
But after thousands of years of bearing the weight of the most massive secret there’d ever been, Pearl knew–it was only a matter of time before it came crashing down upon them all.
Notes:
Next time... dinner is served.
Chapter 29: The Dinner Shack
Summary:
After Connie's parents insist on meeting Stan and Steven's parents, the Mystery Kids find themselves in the middle of one messy dinner date.
Notes:
Here we go with a pretty fun chapter that I always really liked in old UF. I updated it as needed, of course, but largely kept it the same since the OG version is pretty fun. And honestly, its kind of the last pure "fun" chapter we'll have for a while since the "seven chapter angst storm" as I like to call it is about to begin :3 But for now, enjoy dinner with Alexandrite! Let's get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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“Doctor, it’s my son. There was an accident, I-”
“I know what we have to do. Nurse!”
“Yes, doctor?”
“Prep the patient for emergency surgery. We gonna go… under the knife!”
“Oh, this show is so good!” Connie exclaimed the second it went to a commercial break. She’d recently recommended her favorite medical drama, Under the Knife , to Steven, Dipper, and Mabel, and they’d eagerly arranged for a marathon of it at the temple. Sure enough, it took only one episode to get them all hooked on the show’s gripping–and somewhat over the top–plot and characters.
“Tell me about it!” Mabel enthusiastically agreed with her. “That one nurse guy is sooooo dreamy.”
She flopped upside down onto the bed, sending her hair cascading over the edge as it fell onto Dipper as he sat on the floor beside Steven. He smirked as he threw it back up at his sister. “Personally, I think that the ongoing mystery epidemic subplot is way more interesting. I’m calling it now: there’s gonna be a twist villain before it’s all over with. It just makes sense.”
“Ooo, that’d be so twisty ,” Steven agreed, chuckling. “I’m glad you showed us Under the Knife , Connie. It’s something really cool we can all enjoy together!”
“Well, I’m glad you all like it so much,” Connie retuned with a smile. “By the way, thanks for letting me watch it here, Steven.”
“Why can’t you watch it at home?”
“My mom says this doesn’t represent a real emergency room.”
At that exact moment, the nurse from the show dramatically chimed in: “How did his legs get into… his brain?!”
“I guess she would know; she does work in a hospital, after all,” Connie shrugged. “But she doesn’t understand that it’s just satire .”
“So she just doesn’t let you watch it?” Mabel asked, frowning. “That’s crazy! Grunkle Stan lets us watch whatever we want.”
“Which is way more than we can say for how things are back home…” Dipper muttered mostly to himself.
“The Gems let me watch whatever I want too!” Steven added. “Like Crying Breakfast Friends , and Lonely Blade , and Ducktective , and Tiger Fist , and Canine Court , and-”
“I think we get it, Steven,” Connie let out a half-hearted laugh. “Still, I have a feeling my parents are… just a little more strict than Mr. Pines and the Gems are.”
“What do you mean?” Steven wondered.
Connie didn’t get a chance to answer though, as her cellphone began buzzing from her bag. “Hold that thought. It's probably my mom,” she said, retrieving her phone. “Called it.” She cleared her throat as she put her frameless glasses back on before she finally answered. “Hello, Mother. It’s Connie.” She paused for a moment, listening to what her mother had to say. “Yes, ma’am. I’m at the home of Steven Universe, hanging out with him and Dipper and Mabel Pines.”
“Tell her we said ‘hi’!” Mabel obliviously encouraged.
“Mabel, shh!” Dipper quickly quieted her.
“You shh!” she returned, sticking her tongue out at him.
“O-oh,” Connie’s sudden worry caught everyone’s attention. “You… want to know if there’s a supervising adult in the house? Uh, well… Dipper and Mabel’s great uncle isn’t here, but–What? Steven’s parents?” She drew in a sharp breath, shooting an alarmed glance Steven’s way. “They’re, uh, in the other room. You… would like to talk to Steven’s mom? Oh, ok. H-hold on a moment…”
“So,” Mabel said as Connie pulled the phone away from her ear, blocking it so her mother couldn’t overhear. “I guess saying hi to your mom is out then?”
“What am I gonna do?!” Connie anxiously asked. “It would take us way too long to go down to the shack so she could talk to Mr. Pines, and as for Steven’s mom…”
“She gave up her physical form to make me,” Steven pointed out, frowning.
“I can’t tell her that!”
“Wait,” Dipper cut in. “I think I have an idea. If she can’t talk to Steven’s real mom, then why can’t she just talk to the next best thing?”
“Ohhh…” Steven nodded, before admitting, “I don’t get it.”
“Just come on,” Dipper urged, leading the way down from the loft. The others followed, and together, they found Garnet relaxing on the couch in the den below. “Ah, this is perfect,” Dipper said, relieved. “Garnet, we’re glad you’re here.”
“We need your help!” Steven added. “You have to pretend to be my mom to Connie’s mom!”
Garnet didn’t protest as Connie passed the phone over to her. She kept a completely straight face as she greeted Dr. Maheswaran. “Hello. This… is Mom Universe. Yes,” she paused, adjusting her visor. “The children are playing swords. Sorry, playing with swords. They’re bleeding. Oh no, they are dead. Don’t call again.” With this, she abruptly hung up and handed the phone back to Connie. “Sorry, I panicked.”
For a moment, the only thing any of the kids could do was stare at her, completely floored by just how badly that had gone. Still, Connie did all she could to remain positive about it. “O-ok,” she began, forcing a smile onto her face. “This is ok. This… this is fine ! I just need to stay calm. M-maybe my mom won’t totally freak out over this!”
“Yeah!” Mabel agreed, grinning. “I’m sure she’ll just think Garnet was joking.”
“Yeah…” Connie’s smile slowly fell. “Except… my mom doesn’t really do jokes, especially ones that involve me messing around with swords and bleeding to death…”
“Again, sorry,” Garnet reiterated.
“So what should we do now?” Steven asked, concerned.
“Well, my mom hasn’t called me back yet,” Connie checked her phone. “That can only mean one of two things: either she actually did think it was a joke, or… she’s really angry and on her way over here right now.”
A beat of nervous silence passed between the kids, with none of them too keen on seeing what might happen if Dr. Maheswaran really did show up. Which was why Mabel quickly offered up another plan instead. “All in favor of hiding out down at the Mystery Shack until this whole thing blows over?”
Connie, Dipper, and Steven’s hands all shot straight up. Without wasting any time, they hurried out of the temple, practically running down the hill to the safety they hoped the shack would provide. Only to find another disaster entirely was already unfolding there.
As soon as they entered the den, they could already hear that Stan was on the phone with someone. And, based on just how surly he seemed to be, the conversation was clearly far from a pleasant one.
“I dunno what you’re yellin’ at me for, lady,” Stan sneered, hardly even noticing the kids as they watched from the sidelines. “How am I supposed to know if your kid and my two runts are whacking each other with swords? What, do you think it’s my job to keep an eye on ‘em 24/7 or something?”
“Oh no…” Connie muttered as she quickly pieced together what was happening here.
“Oh, come on,” Dipper said. “It’s not like your mom would actually call up Grunkle Stan about this whole thing. Would she?”
“Believe me, she would ,” Connie grimly confirmed. “She must have found his number in the phone book or something. This… won’t end well…”
She was quickly proven right as Stan continued on his indifferent rant. “And so what if they were playing around with swords? I say let ‘em nick each other with some glorified pocket knives for a few rounds, get a few scratches, maybe even a scar or two. Builds character if you ask me.”
“Well, it’s safe to say my mom’s blood pressure is skyrocketing by now,” Connie muttered, her face in her hands.
“He can’t be serious,” Dipper shook his head in disbelief. “I know Grunkle Stan likes to speak his mind, but this is ridiculous.”
At the same time, Mabel tugged on Stan’s sleeve, hoping to do something to try and save this rapidly sinking ship. Even if it was already far too late for that. “Um, Grunkle Stan?”
“Not now, kid,” Stan waved her off. “Can’t you see I’m having an adult conversation here?” He paused to listen to what Dr. Maheswaran had to say before he let out a harsh scoff. “What? Me? Irresponsible? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I let my niece and nephew run around and do pretty much whatever they want to, and they’re both still alive and kicking. I mean, sure, there’s been a few close calls, like that time both of them nearly drowned or when we were all almost eaten by zombies, but still. Point is, I’m as responsible as a caretaker as they come, and I’m not gonna have some uptight prude like you tell me otherwise.”
By now, all four of the kids' jaws hung in shock over what they were hearing. But of course, Stan only had to go and make it worse as he angrily shouted, “Oh yeah? Well, same to you, lady!”
With that, he slammed the phone down. Only to find four stunned, very stressed kids standing right behind him.
“What?”
“What do you mean your mom won’t let you come over? It’s the midseason pre-finale of Under the Knife !” Steven exclaimed, dismayed. The next day, he and the twins had gathered to hang out at the temple again… but Connie hadn’t. And when they called her up, they quickly found out why.
“Look, you guys, I’d love to come over, but my parents are really upset about what happened yesterday.”
“Oh gee, I can’t imagine why they would be,” Dipper said. “Garnet only told your mom we impaled each other while Stan got into a shouting match with her. How could she not be upset about that?”
“Oh, she is,” Connie confirmed. She anxiously glanced over her shoulder, hoping her mother wasn’t listening. “When I got home yesterday, she was fuming . Both her and my dad won’t let me see any of you again until they meet Mr. Pines and both of Steven’s parents in person!”
“But that’s impossible!” Steven protested.
“Yeah, especially after what happened yesterday,” Mabel added, frowning.
“I know,” Connie heaved a worried sigh. “But they want all three of our families to go out together for dinner.”
“Ooo, that sounds so adult ,” Steven couldn’t help but smile, intrigued.
“No, it sounds like a horrible idea,” Dipper countered. “Connie, do your parents really think they’ll be able to have anything even close to a normal dinner with Stan after the awful first impression he made on your mom yesterday?”
“She said she wants to give him the benefit of the doubt,” Connie replied. “Still, I don’t think she’s all too excited about meeting him face-to-face after yesterday’s… incident.”
“Well, like Dipper said, that was only Grunkle Stan’s first impression,” Mabel said with a hopeful smile. “So maybe his second impression will be a whole lot better!”
“Or it’ll only be even worse ,” Dipper said, thoroughly doubtful.
“Well, I think dinner sounds like a great idea, Connie,” Steven cut in. “It’ll be the perfect way for your parents to get to know all of us, and Mr. Pines and the Gems too! I wonder if Fish Stew Pizza will take a reservation for… the four of us, Garnet, Pearl, Dad, Amethyst, Mr. Pines, your parents… all 11 of us!”
“W-what?” Connie asked, alarmed. “Steven, you can’t bring everybody !”
“Why not?”
Connie hesitated before inevitably blurting out the awkward truth. “Because… I told my parents you have a nuclear family!"
“Nuclear?!” Steven echoed, appalled. “Sure, the Gems may blow stuff up sometimes, but that’s because they’re magic, not radioactive!”
“Wait, they’re not?” Mabel asked, not noticing Dipper face palming beside her.
“Steven,” Connie groaned. “Nuclear means two adults and their child and/or children. My parents think you live with your mother and father.”
“B-but none of that is true!” Steven shook his head. “Connie, you never told your parents about the Crystal Gems?”
“No, and I’ve never told them about all of the weird paranormal stuff we’ve run into either,” Connie said, resolved. “And it has to stay like that. If they find out that I lied to them, they’ll never let me hang out with any of you again!”
“Oh, hey!” Mabel piped up in realization. “That’s kinda like what we-” She quickly cut herself off when she caught the warning look Dipper sent her way. True, they’d agreed on never telling their own parents the full story of their summer adventures. And in doing so, they’d also agreed to never tell their friends about that decision either. “Like what we, uh… said we’d never do, because lying to your parents is like, super bad and junk! Yeah!”
“...Well, thanks for rubbing salt in that wound…” Connie muttered, rubbing her arm. “Look, I don’t want to lie to them, but they just… wouldn’t understand. Can you guys help me out with this? Please?”
“Mmm, ok,” Steven tentatively agreed. “I guess I’ll just have to bring one of the Gems to dinner instead of all three of them. Still, I don’t get why I have to bring both a dad and a ‘mom’ when Dipper and Mabel don’t.”
“Oh, that’s ‘cause our mom and dad are back home in California,” Mabel informed. “I mean, we could always call them and see if they want to drive 10 hours up here for dinner, but-”
“Let’s not and say we didn’t,” Dipper swiftly, sternly shut the idea down.
“So, it’s settled then,” Connie got them all back on track. “And just so we’re clear, Steven, you’re bringing your dad and only one Gem to dinner, right?”
“Right…” Steven agreed, even though he had no idea who that Gem would be.
“And Dipper, Mabel, are you sure you can convince your uncle to be a little more… civil when he meets my parents?”
“Um, we can sure try,” Dipper said, uncertain. “But we can’t make any promises that Grunkle Stan won’t end up offending your parents on accident. Or, you know, on purpose.”
“Then we’ll just have to make sure he’s on his best behavior!” Mabel enthusiastically resolved. “I’m sure it won’t be too hard if we annoy him about it enough.”
“Or if we just bribe him,” Dipper shrugged.
“Oh! And you know what? I just had an awesome idea!” Mabel continued, excited. “Why don’t we all have dinner down at the Mystery Shack? Connie, you can tell your parents that Grunkle Stan invited them over to show there’s no hard feelings about what happened yesterday.”
“Whoa, that’s… actually a great idea, Mabel!” Connie eagerly hopped on board with it. “It’s just the sort of sign of goodwill that’ll hopefully convince my parents that Mr. Pines is responsible and respectable.”
“Which, he’s not, but I’m sure we can fake it enough for just one night,” Dipper added, smirking.
“Oh, this is so exciting, you guys!” Steven cheerfully hopped to his feet. “Finally, the Universe, the Pines, and the Maheswarans, all coming together for the first time in history! This is gonna be the best dinner ever !”
“This dinner is gonna be a disaster ,” Dipper whispered to Mabel the second they finished explaining everything to Stan later. The look on his face alone was enough to tell them he was far from a fan of any of it.
“Let me get this straight,” he leaned back in his desk chair. “You two want me to go through all the trouble of turning the shack into some sort of ritzy restaurant and you want me to make nice with that crazy Maheswhatever lady after she called me up and nagged at me about nothing?”
The twins exchanged a stiff glance before Dipper apprehensively nodded. “Yeah, that’s… pretty much the gist of it.”
“Ha!” Stan snorted out a gruff laugh. “What do you kids take me for, some kind of spineless sap? If there’s one thing being in the tourist trap business as long as I have has taught me, it’s that apologizing is for chumps. Either folks take you for the way you are, or they don’t, and if they don’t, then that’s on them.”
“Ok, that’s like, a really good life lesson, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel said with a forced grin. “But if you don’t let the Maheswarans come over for dinner and say you’re sorry to them, then they won’t let Connie hang out with us ever again!”
“So?” Stan raised an eyebrow. “How is that my problem?”
“It is your problem since you were the one who insulted her mom in the first place!” Dipper argued, frustrated. “Besides, you only have to act… not like you usually do for just one night. Then you can go back to being as blunt and rude as you want.”
“Plus, you won’t be the only one pretending,” Mabel added. “Steven and his dad and one of the Gems pretending to be his mom are gonna be here too. So it won’t be the most awkward dinner party of all time; just moderately awkward.”
“Oh yeah, because having one of the Gems here will really make it smooth sailing,” Stan deadpanned. “If you ask me, this whole fancy dinner meeting sounds like a bunch of nonsense. Back when I was your age, you didn’t see anyone’s parents getting all worked up over their kids’ business like this. If one kid decked another in the face, they just worked it out with each other. They didn’t get their parents to go down to the nearest diner to have a two-hour ‘civilized debate’ over it.”
“Come on, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel implored. “Can’t you just open up the shack and your heart this one time? Connie’s one of our best friends and we’d be completely and utterly heartbroken if we could never see her again!”
“Yeah, sounds like it,” Stan scoffed, still unmoved.
“We’re serious, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper firmly insisted. “This is really important to us! Can’t you at least do this for me and Mabel?”
“Yeah, do it for us!” Mabel threw an arm around her brother’s shoulder as they both put on the same pleading pout. “Pretty please, Grunkle Stan? We are your favorite niece and nephew after all…”
Stan shot them both a dry, dour glare, one that they quickly wore down the longer they kept their adorable vigil up. A vigil that even someone as bitter and hardened as Stan couldn’t resist forever. “Ugh, fine,” he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You two win, what else is new? When are you both finally gonna get too old to win me over with that dumb puppy eye trick?”
“We dunno,” Mabel grinned, rocking back and forth on her feet. “Maybe after we have a lovely dinner tonight with Connie’s family.”
“But that can only happen if you behave yourself, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper reiterated. “Which means no putting your feet up on the table, no inappropriate jokes, and no controversial political opinions. Think you can handle that?”
“Please, kid, you’re acting like I’m some kinda caveman,” Stan rolled his eyes as he stood up. “I can put on a clean tie, fake a nice smile, and pretend to be ‘polite’ for a few hours. How else do you think I’ve managed to con so many clueless rubes out of their hard-earned cash over the years?”
With that, Stan headed out of his office, leaving his still very worried niece and nephew behind. Dipper simply shook his head as Mabel let out an anxious laugh. “You were right,” she said with all of the stress they were both feeling over tonight’s fateful dinner date. “This is gonna be a disaster .”
“How am I supposed to bring only one of you to dinner?” Steven wondered as he paced in front of the Gems. He’d already filled them and his father in on tonight’s arrangements, and while they were all on board, there was still one difficult decision that needed to be made. A decision Steven was heavily struggling to make. “You’re all so… so cool!”
“Why does it have to be dinner anyway?” Pearl asked, cringing. “We get all the energy we need from our gems, and while we are capable of eating, I find the entire process very uncomfortable.”
“Heh, I love eating!” Amethyst grinned as she pulled out a bag of chips and shoved a handful into her mouth. “Feels weird…”
“Ok, let’s focus,” Steven got them back on track. “We’ve only got a few hours left before Connie and her family get to the shack for dinner and we’ve got to be ready! Now, which one of you would make the best, most nuclear mom…?”
He paused, looking between the three of them as he weighed his options. “Garnet! You keep us safe by scaring off bad guys, just like a mom would!” Garnet simply nodded her agreement. Steven, however, was quick to change his mind when he remembered yesterday’s less than stellar phone call. “But… you’re not the best conversationalist…”
Garnet only shrugged as Steven moved onto the next Gem in the lineup. “Amethyst! You would be a super fun mom!”
Amethyst snickered, chip crumbs scattered all over her face as she casually picked her nose. “You bet I would!”
“Uh…” Steven frowned, suddenly apprehensive. “Can moms be gross?”
“Why not?” Amethyst shrugged as she wiped a bit of drool from her face.
Steven stuck his tongue out as he quickly moved on. “Pearl! You’re always worried about me, you teach me lots of stuff, you’re approachable, and you’re totally not gross!”
Before Pearl could agree with him, she caught another glance at Amethyst shoveling chips into her mouth. She let out a repulsed gag as she forced herself to look away, reminding Steven of the only problem bringing Pearl would pose. “But… you can’t eat dinner…”
He sighed as he headed over to the couch, plopping down next to Greg as he finished squeezing into an old, but presentable sweater for the occasion. “Man, Dipper and Mabel are so lucky. They only have to bring one family member to dinner. Why did Connie say I have one mother instead of zero… or three?”
“Hey, we’ll figure this out, bud,” Greg assured, resting a hand on his shoulder. “We just have to put our heads together.”
Steven gasped when he heard this old adage as a new idea struck him when he looked back over at the Gems. “Why didn’t I think of it before? It’s so obvious! You can all come to dinner–all three of you, fused into one!” He snapped his fingers as he eagerly jumped to his feet. “Alexandrite!”
“What?!” Pearl exclaimed, surprised.
“Whoa!” Amethyst gasped, just as startled.
“Who?” Greg asked, completely confused.
“Steven, you know we only fuse in deadly situations,” Pearl shut the idea down, shaking her head.
“Yeah, like the time we punched Gideon’s stupid robot in the face,” Amethyst said with a wry smirk.
“Oh, come on, you guys!” Steven pleaded, desperate. “If Alexandrite comes to dinner, then it’d… it’d be like I’m actually bringing my whole family!”
Garnet stood firm on their stance against the idea. “Fusion is serious magic. Not a trick for dinner parties.”
“I… I know…” Steven heaved a disappointed sigh. “Then I guess this is it… The end of the Mystery Kids… We’ll never get to see Connie again.” He laid it on thick, tears brimming in his eyes as he dramatically lamented such a devastating loss. “Oh, Connie… I’ll never know a star that shines as bright as you…”
The Gems’ resolve quickly fell apart when they heard that. Pearl and Amethyst looked to Garnet, who could only sigh as she gave in. “We have no choice.”
With little time to lose, Dipper and Mabel got to work getting the shack ready for dinner. With Soos’ help, they found two large tables and a handful of chairs, pushing them all together in the shack’s front lawn. They brought a slight air of elegance to it all with a vase of semi-wilted flowers and a string of mostly-functional Christmas lights. Helpful as always, Soos volunteered to be the chef for the evening, though exactly what he planned on making, the twins had no idea. Still, they tried their best to be hopeful that tonight would go well–even if they knew there were plenty of ways it could just as easily go horribly wrong.
“Ok, I think everything’s just about ready,” Mabel smiled, satisfied as she looked over their handiwork.
“Well, almost everything,” Dipper nodded over at Stan as he emerged from the shack.
“I mean it, Soos!” Stan called back inside. “You’d better not use any super-fancy, expensive ingredients in whatever you’re gonna cook tonight! We’re not trying to impress these people; we just want ‘em to shut their yaps.”
“...You think we’d be able to get through dinner with Grunkle Stan wearing tape over his mouth?” Mabel asked Dipper, aside.
“Unfortunately, no,” he sighed as they both headed over to meet Stan. “Hey, Grunkle Stan? You do remember what we told you about being friendly and polite tonight, right?”
“‘Course I do,” Stan adjusted his tie. “You want me to smile, shake their hands… and tell them off for being so annoying and uptight.” He flashed a teasing grin down at the twins, only to find that neither of them were laughing in the slightest. “Kidding! I’m just kidding! Sheesh, can’t you kids take a joke?”
Dipper and Mabel shook their heads disapprovingly, but they didn’t have time to chastise Stan any further as a car pulled up and parked on the other side of the shack. “Oh my gosh, they’re here already!” Dipper exclaimed, alarmed.
“Ok, places, everyone!” Mabel called. “Dipper, turn on the classy piano music!”
“Right,” Dipper nodded as he pressed play on the nearby radio.
“Soos!” Mabel shouted into the shack’s open door. “Cook that food!”
“On it, dude!” Soos called back. The startling sound of pots clattering to the floor echoed from the kitchen soon after. “Oops!”
“Grunkle Stan, turn that frown upside down!” Mabel finished her orders, though Stan hardly shifted from his usual surly scowl. “We’re having ourselves a dinner party!”
As the Pines made their last-minute preparations, the Maheswarans emerged from their car. While Connie could barely keep her nerves in check about tonight, her parents exchanged a skeptical glance as they got their first look at the Mystery Shack. “ This is where you’ve been spending all your time at this summer?” Mr. Maheswaran asked his daughter, unimpressed. “The entire place looks like it’s about to fall down at any minute!”
“Oh, uh… that’s just part of the… rustic Oregonian charm?” Connie let out a nervous chuckle.
“So, where is this Mr. Pines fellow anyway?” Dr. Maheswaran wondered. “I have a few choice words I’d like to say to him after our little conversation yesterday…”
“Mom…” Connie protested, embarrassed.
“Oh, don’t worry, Connie,” she assured. “I only intend to give him a well-deserved rebuke for his complete and utter lack of decency and manners. That is, unless he can prove he’s capable of the opposite this evening.”
“I sure hope so…” Connie muttered to herself. Still, she and her parents were both caught off guard when they rounded the corner to find the surprisingly decent setup the Pines had put together for dinner.
“Hi, Connie!” Mabel brightly greeted as she ran over to them. “Hi, Connie’s parents! It’s super great to finally meet you! I’m Mabel, and that’s my brother, Dipper, and over there is-”
“Ok, Mabel, maybe just tone it down a little?” Dipper sharply whispered as he rushed to grab her arm and reign her boundless enthusiasm in. “Um, it’s nice to meet you both,” he said to the Maheswarans, offering them a polite smile as he pushed Mabel away.
“Likewise…” Mr. Maheswaran dryly returned.
“I’m assuming you’re Mr. Pines, then?” Dr. Maheswaran asked Stan came over to join them.
“Nah, I’m just the creepy old hobo who shacks up in the storage closet,” Stan joked, only to catch a genuinely disturbed, disgruntled glance from the Maheswarans. Likewise, Dipper and Mabel both elbowed him in the knees, silently reminding him that he needed to make a good impression. Something that he clearly wasn’t off to a great start to. “Ugh,” he groaned, but ultimately held his hand out and introduced himself. “Stan Pines.”
“Priyanka Maheswaran,” Connie’s mom returned, begrudgingly accepting his handshake. “And this is my husband, Doug.”
“It’s a… pleasure,” Doug stiffly nodded, clearly on the same page as his wife was.
“So, about our conversation on the phone yesterday…” Priyanka gave Stan a critical look as she crossed her arms.
“Oh yeah,” Stan said every bit as coldly. “So, are you gonna apologize for nagging my ear off, or are you–ow!” He cut himself off as both twins elbowed his legs again. “Geez! What’s with you kids, tonight? If you keep this up, you’ll be footing the bill for my orthopedic surgery!”
“Hey, um, why don’t we all sit down and get ready to eat?” Connie suggested as she directed her parents over to the table. As the adults headed over that way, she stopped the twins short, making no effort to hide her growing worry as she asked them, “You guys, where’s Steven at?”
“Who knows?” Dipper shrugged as he glanced up toward the temple. “He should be here by now.”
“Maybe he’s just having a hard time deciding which of the Gems he should bring to dinner?” Mabel guessed. “I know if I were him, I wouldn’t be able to pick between those three either; they’re all so cool!”
“I hope he hurries up and makes a decision,” Connie said. “My parents aren’t going to like that he’s running late.”
“Well, look on the bright side,” Dipper tried to reassure. “At least Stan’s mostly behaving himself so far.”
“Look, all I was tryin’ to say yesterday was that kids and swords are a good combination,” Stan told the Maheswarans as he leaned back in his chair. “Especially when you need to beat a bunch of muggers in a knife fight. Just send the kid in for you with a sword and you’re golden. Even if the kid usually isn’t by the end of it.”
“Looks like you spoke too soon…” Connie muttered to Dipper as they made their way over to the table.
“Ha! That’s our Grunkle Stan!” Mabel cut into the conversation with a loud, forced laugh. “Doesn’t he tell the most hilarious jokes?”
“I don’t know if ‘hilarious’ would be the word I’d use to describe them,” Priyanka said, scowling. “But distasteful jokes and questionable child-rearing methods aside, Mr. Pines, our daughter mentioned you’re in the… tourism business?”
“Uh, duh,” Stan said, as if it were obvious. “What, did you not see the giant ‘Mystery Shack’ sign when you pulled up here?”
“W-well, of course, I-” Priyanka cut herself off with an aggravated growl. “What I meant to ask was, what exactly is this… ‘Mystery Shack’ of yours anyway?”
“Oh! Oh! I’ve got this one covered!” Mabel’s hand shot up. Dipper and Connie exchanged a glance, briefly fearing that Mabel’s near–constant excitement was about to get the better of her again. Fortunately, she went in a different, much more appropriate direction instead. “The Mystery Shack is a very fun, very safe place where people come to see all sorts of amazing stuff they can’t see anywhere else!”
“Oh really?” Doug asked, curious. “Like what?”
“Like, uh…” Mabel looked to her brother for help.
Dipper quickly jumped in, heeding the warning Connie mouthed to him about mentioning anything even remotely magical or supernatural. “L-like… rare indigenous rocks and unusually shaped leaves?”
“How… interesting,” Priyanka mused, even if she clearly wasn’t interested in the slightest. She shifted her attention over to Dipper and Mabel next as she intently looked between them. “So, Connie says that you two are only staying in Gravity Falls for the summer?”
“Um, that’s right?” Dipper nodded, a bit confused.
“Oh, that’s a relief,” Doug muttered to his wife. “At least we won’t have to worry about anything going on between Connie and the boy.”
“ Dad !” Connie practically shrieked, completely mortified. Likewise, Dipper choked on the sip of water he’d been taking, his face every bit as bright red as Connie’s was as they exchanged a flustered glance.
Mabel, meanwhile, let out a huge burst of laughter as she beat a fist against the table. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe they thought–” She cut herself off, nearly in tears as she continued laughing. “That’s seriously the funniest thing I’ve ever heard! Though now that you mention it, you two would be pretty cute together!”
“Mabel!” Dipper snapped, beyond embarrassed by this point.
“Well, thank you for making things even more awkward than they already were, Doug,” Priyanka shot her husband a critical glance.
“How was I supposed to know?”
“Wait, you’re telling me you two aren’t an item?” Stan looked over at Dipper and Connie, incredulous. “Huh, you’re kiddin’ me. And here I thought nerds of a feather flocked together. Ha!”
Dipper could only groan as he buried his face in his hands. At the same time, Connie shook her head as she softly, worriedly wondered, “Steven, where are you…?”
Little did she know, she was about to get an answer to that question. Even if it wasn’t the one any of them could have ever expected.
The tension around the dinner table was suddenly broken as a low rumble sounded from somewhere nearby, shaking the ground beneath them all. The Maheswarans exchanged a startled glance as the kids looked around, hoping to find the source of the disturbance. It didn’t take them long to spot something making its way through the woods, toppling trees over as it approached the shack. When it finally emerged from the forest, everyone around the table was nothing less than shocked by what–or who –was standing before them.
“Hi, Connie!” Steven called from his seat on Alexandrite’s shoulder. Greg was perched on her other shoulder, much more uncertain about this arrangement than his son was. Still, Alexandrite stood tall and steady, a towering, six-armed sight to behold if there ever was one. “Hi, Dipper, and Mabel, and Mr. Pines! And hello , Mr. and Mrs. Maheswaran!”
While the Maheswarans could scarcely believe the sight of the massive woman standing before them, Dipper and Connie were shocked for entirely different reasons. Mabel, on the other hand, was delighted to see the fusion again as she warmly waved a greeting of her own, “Hi, Alexandrite!”
Alexandrite quietly waved one of her many hands as she set Steven and Greg down on the ground. “Thanks… honeybun?” Greg said, glancing back at her.
“You’re welcome… Greg,” Alexandrite stoically returned.
Greg let out an awkward chuckle as he turned to the still-awestruck Maheswarans. “Hi there. I’m Greg Universe and this massive drink of water is my wife, Alexandrite.”
“Hiiii…” Alexandrite stiffly hissed. Still, the Maheswarans nodded their own terse, bewildered greetings, unsure of what else to say or do.
“Alright, I’m just gonna come right out and ask,” Stan said, baffled. “Greg, what the heck is that gigantic, six-armed… thing and what is she doing in my yard?”
“Oh, um…” Greg rubbed the back of his neck. “Well…”
“Oh, Grunkle Stan, you’re so silly!” Mabel interrupted. “You remember Alexandrite, right?”
“No.”
“You know, Alexandrite?” Dipper pressed before dropping his voice down to a whisper. “The Gems?”
Stan simply took another confounded look up at Alexandrite, not fully buying it. Still, the kids were all grateful when he didn’t blow their cover. Instead, he simply shrugged and said, “Hmph, if you say so.”
“Heh, yeah, so…” Greg began as he and Steven took their seats at the table. Alexandrite joined them, squatting to sit at the foot of the table since there was no chair big enough to hold her. “When do we eat? I’m starved.”
“Food will be ready soon, dudes,” Soos announced as he stepped out of the shack with a covered basket in hand. “For now, enjoy these delicious hot breadsticks made by me, Soos.”
“Uh, Soos?” Dipper frowned as he lifted the napkin over the basket a bit. “I think these breadsticks are burnt.”
“No way, dude,” Soos shook his head. “The recipe I found online said to bake them to a crispy, golden brown.”
“Yeah, they’re crispy alright,” Stan deadpanned as he took one of the charred breadsticks and snapped it clean in half.
“Well, ‘Mom’ seems to like them,” Steven grinned up at Alexandrite. She’d already taken a handful of burnt breadsticks, sloppily shoving them into her mouth.
“I hope that Soos person can make unlimited breadsticks,” Doug muttered to his wife, aside.
“Don’t be rude,” Priyanka chastised.
It quickly became apparent just how split Alexandrite really was on eating as she gagged a bit on her food. With a protesting groan, she stuck her tongue out, revealing the mashed-up mess still sitting on her tongue. Still, Greg did what he could to direct everyone’s attention away from her as he let out an uneasy laugh. “Isn’t my wife a riot?”
“She certainly is… something,” Priyanka said, diffident, as the conversation moved on. “So, how exactly do your two families know each other?”
“Well, I used to work for Mr. Pines here at the Mystery Shack before I-”
“Heh, those were the days,” Stan cut Greg off before anyone could hope to stop him. “You know, Greg wasn’t just a decent cashier, he was also a pretty reliable cover man. Like this one time, when I set a bunch of wild racoons loose in city hall. He kept his cool the whole time the police were here interrogating us about it. I got off on the whole thing scott-free, and it was hilarious ! Cops, am I right? It’s so easy to pull the wool over their eyes!” He shot Doug a wry smirk. “This guy knows what I’m talking about!”
“Actually, I don’t,” he returned with a heavy scowl. “I just so happen to be a member of the local law enforcement myself.”
Stan quickly stopped laughing, instead shying back with an irritated huff of his own. “Great, just what we need around here,” he muttered, indignant. “A cop. As if these two couldn’t get any more boring.”
“Ha! Like we said,” Mabel cut in with an awkward chuckle. “Our Grunkle Stan loves telling jokes!”
“But he didn’t actually mean any of it, of course,” Dipper quickly assured. “A-and he’s totally never done anything illegal at all!”
Connie breathed a sigh of relief when her parents seemingly bought this lie, at least for now. She mouthed her thanks to the twins, but unfortunately, the conversation only kept going from there. “So, tell me, Mr. Universe,” Priyanka began. “How did you and your, uh, wife meet?”
“Huh? How did we meet?” Greg took pause; of all things, Steven hadn’t prepared him for this question. “We… we, uh…”
“They met on a roller coaster!” Steven proclaimed, standing on his chair. Everyone looked at him, confused at such an improbable claim, given Alexandrite’s size. Connie silently pressed for him to elaborate on it, which he was more than happy to do. “She… she was too tall to ride!” He forced out a laugh as he took his seat, one that was short lived as he caught Connie shaking her head at him, unimpressed by every part of this plan.
“Uh… yeah,” Greg tentatively went along with it. “I remember it like it was yesterday. Right, h-honey?” He placed his hand against Alexandrite’s leg, only to quickly retract it when she recoiled away. “Er… sorry.”
Alexandrite quickly retaliated as she shoved Greg’s face into his plate. “Have some more breadsticks… dear.”
“Geez, talk about your dysfunctional relationship,” Stan deadpanned, rolling his eyes.
“Uh, so,” Doug said, clearing his throat. “What is it you two do for a living, Mr. and Mrs. Universe?”
“Well, I own a local car wash,” Greg said, smiling. “And my dear, sweet wife here-”
“My mom works on an apple farm!” Steven chimed in, once again putting no thought into his response.
For her part, all Connie could really do was rest her head against the table with a defeated sigh. There really would be no turning tonight around, would there? Not with Stan acting the way that he was, or with Alexandrite… being there at all. Of course, her mother only added insult to injury by sternly reminding her, “What did we say about heads on the table?”
At the same time, Dipper incredulously muttered to Mabel, “An apple farm? Seriously? That’s the best he could come up with?”
“H-hey, Steven!” Mabel tried to save this ploy regardless. “Aren’t you gonna tell them how your, uh, ‘mom’ got hired at that apple farm?”
“Oh yeah!” Steven exclaimed. “Uh, well… they hired her because… because she can use all her arms to pick apples out of the huge trees!”
“You know what they say,” Greg casually cut in. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
“Yes,” Alexandrite agreed. “I hate doctors.”
“Well,” Priyanka scoffed, offended. “I’m a doctor.”
“Steven, Dipper, Mabel, could I talk to you three inside for a second?!” Connie suddenly asked with a wide, sharp smile. The others exchanged a confused glance, but complied nonetheless as they followed her into the den.
“So,” Steven began, smiling. “Things are going pretty good so far, huh?”
“Steven, please say you’re joking,” Dipper raised an eyebrow at him. “Stan’s been incriminating himself all night, and as for Alexandrite-”
“She’s a total mess ,” Connie finished, rubbing her temples. “Steven, what in the world were you thinking by bringing her to dinner?”
“She’s my family,” Steven countered. “All of the Gems, fused into a six-armed giant woman.”
“Why couldn’t you bring just one of the Gems?” Connie asked, stressed.
“Because that would be a lie,” Steven frowned. “And I couldn’t pick just one. So… I thought this would work out instead.”
“Well, it’s not,” Connie sighed as she turned to the twins next. “And honestly, Mr. Pines isn’t either. What gives, you guys? I thought you said he’d be on his best behavior.”
“This is his best behavior,” Mabel shrugged. “He just sort of says whatever pops into his head, no matter how messed up or illegal it is.”
“Can’t you get him to, I don’t know, filter himself somehow?” Connie pleaded. “If things keep going the way they are, I’m pretty sure the night will end with your uncle and my dad getting into a fist fight or something.”
“I’m not sure what you expect us to do here, Connie,” Dipper said, crossing his arms. “Stan’s just… being himself. And unfortunately for all of us, that means he’s gonna say whatever he wants, no matter how many times we try to stop him.”
“And the Gems are just being themselves too,” Steven added. “Or at least… as much of themselves as they can be when they’re all fused together… like…” He trailed off, narrowing his eyes at Connie as he noticed something he hadn’t before. Something that had been right in plain sight all this time. “Connie… your glasses…”
“W-what about them?” Connie quickly glanced away from the others.
“I healed your eyes,” Steven pointed out. “You don’t need to wear those anymore.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Dipper said, just as confused. “Wait… Did you just… pop the frames out of your glasses to make it look like you still needed them?”
“I-I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” Connie crossed her arms as he turned her back on them.
“Oh my gosh, you did !” Steven gasped, appalled. “All that stuff you told your parents about my family… about both of our families—you’re just ashamed of us!”
“No, I’m not!” Connie spun back around, flustered. “It’s just… Well, what am I supposed to tell my parents? That we’ve fought gnomes and Gem monsters? That we go on wild, life-threatening adventures at least once a week? That Steven’s spit healed my eyes and that we literally fused into the same person? Even if they did believe any of that, they’d go crazy if they ever found out about all of the dangerous stuff we’ve done!”
“Yeah, but what’s so bad about all that stuff?” Mabel asked. “We’ve had so many great times together this summer. Don’t you want your parents to know about at least a few of them?”
“Ugh, you guys just don’t get it!” Connie exclaimed. “My parents are nowhere near as hands-off as Mr. Pines or the Gems are! If they found out that the Gems were magical aliens or that Mr. Pines is a swindling conman, then they’d never let me hang out with any of you guys ever again! That’s why I have to keep this all from them! So I won’t lose any of you !”
All three of them into silence when they heard this. While Steven offered Connie a sympathetic frown, Dipper and Mabel exchanged a knowing glance. They both understood where Connie was coming from, far more than they knew how to admit. But maybe now was just the time to come clean, not to their own parents, but to their friends about the secrets they’d also decided to keep. About the lengths they were going to to keep their friendships from falling apart.
“Connie…” Dipper began with a relenting sigh. “We do get it… Our mom is… well, she’s actually a lot like your parents. Super strict and stubborn and overbearing-”
“And she’s, uh, not always the most open to things that are… ‘different’,” Mabel agreed, rubbing her arm. “Like magic or aliens or monsters. Which is why me and Dipper decided to do the same thing you are.”
“We haven’t told her or our dad about most of what we’ve done this summer,” Dipper put it plainly. “We can’t. She… she’d never let us stay here if she knew. So yeah, we know what it feels like. And…” He sighed, glancing down solemnly. “We know just how hard it can be to keep such an important part of your life hidden from the people you should be able to trust with anything.”
“....Really?” Connie asked softly, her eyes wide with worry and wonder alike.
“So… you guys are lying to your parents too?” Steven asked, loosely hugging himself as he reached a distressing realization. “Is… is it just me then? Are all three of you ashamed of me ?”
“What? No!” Mabel quickly reassured him, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Steven, this has got nothing to do with you, we promise! We could never be ashamed of you, you’re awesome!”
“But not awesome enough,” Steven pulled his shoulder away. “‘Cause if I was, then maybe you’d all actually be honest with your families about who I am and what we do and who we are to each other.”
“Steven…” Dipper tried reaching out to him again. “It’s not like that. Just listen, we-”
“No, I totally get it,” he let out a bitter laugh as he turned away from all of them. “It’s way easier to just pretend like my family is normal and ‘nuclear’, so we might as well just do that, right?”
Connie could only sigh as she watched Steven head back outside. She exchanged a fretful glance with the twins, but they all ultimately followed him. Because really, what else could they do but keep the facade up? What else could they do but continue to live a lie they couldn’t afford to let go of, no matter how much they wished they all could?
Unsurprisingly, by the time the kids returned to the table, an all-out brawl had broken out between Stan and the Maheswarans. Greg anxiously sat and watched it unfold, unsure of when and how to cut in, while Alexandrite remained as silent and stoic as ever. As the kids returned to their seats, they were all but unnoticed by the adults as their shouting match only continued on.
“Mr. Pines, not only was everything you just said unquestionably immoral; it was all completely illegal!” Doug exclaimed, aghast. “How did you manage to pull any of that off!?
“By being smarter than any of the morons who tried to stop me, duh,” Stan simply shrugged
“But what would even possess you to do any of that nonsense in the first place?” Priyanka asked as she issued him a relentless glare. “Certainly you know such an extensive criminal record stands as a horrible example for your niece and nephew, right?”
“Pfft, come on,” Stan scoffed with a wave of his hand. “I’m a great example for the little runts. Why, if it wasn’t for me, they wouldn’t have important life skills like breaking and entering, forgery, or pick pocketing. And if you don’t take my word for it, just ask six-arms over there.”
“Don’t,” Alexandrite returned, shooting a critical look Stan’s way.
Desperate to turn things around, Connie spoke up and changed the subject completely. “S-so, Steven was just telling us that on his mom’s apple farm, they’re bioengineering a gala-fuji hybrid.”
“Yeah, that’s… definitely true,” Steven sighed, knowing he didn’t have much of a choice to keep this charade going. Because even if he hated the guilt that came along with every last lie he was helping his friends tell, he hated the idea of losing Connie even more.
“Is that right, Mrs. Universe?” Priyanka asked, barely curious. Before Alexandrite could answer, Soos emerged from the shack with a large pan in tow.
“K, dudes, dinner is served!” He set the tray down at the center of the table to reveal tonight’s main course: piping hot spaghetti. “Bon apple pie! Or whatever it is those fancy French chefs say.”
“Uh, Soos? Why does this spaghetti smell so weird?” Mabel asked as Soos served her some.
“Oh, well, we were all out of spaghetti sauce. So I figured I’d just use the next best thing: ketchup!”
“Ketchup?!” Priyanka asked, alarmed. At the same time, Doug gagged the mouthful he’d taken back onto his plate in utter disgust. Stan and Greg both pushed their own plates far away from them while the kids all looked to Soos for an explanation.
“Wait, I don’t get it. Ketchup and spaghetti sauce are both made out of the same stuff, right?” He took a forkful to try it for himself. Only to quickly realize just how bad it really was.“Ugh! Wrong! Wrong! Why did I ever think this was a good idea?! Gah!”
In the midst of this uproar, Alexandrite still helped herself to a heaping spoonful of the ketchup-flavored spaghetti. As soon as she took in a whiff of it, one part of her in particular let out a loud, protesting groan. “Ugh! What are you doing?!” Pearl’s voice became clear as she shoved the pasta against her face. “I’m hungry !” she growled with a touch of Amethyst’s fervor. “I don’t think so!” she huffed, slapping her own hand away. Her second mouth soon split open under her face as another part of her scolded the others. “Cut it out, you two!”
Still, things only got even worse from there. Alexandrite essentially started fighting herself, slapping and pushing each of her arms as she struggled to both eat and not eat, all at the same time. The others could only watch, dumbfounded by whatever they were watching, even if none of them knew how to explain it, much less stop it.
“Dudes, this is so freaky and so rad,” Soos muttered to the twins, aside.
“Stop!” Steven shouted to Alexandrite, unable to watch her bicker with herself anymore. “You don’t have to eat it!”
She hardly listened. If anything, she only grew more unstable as a literal crack tore wide open across her face. Light filled the spaces between it as the rift among her components continued to grow, until she finally, inevitably, split apart.
All three of the Gems yelled as they hit the ground away from each other. The adults all bolted out of their seats, surprised by this sudden shift, albeit some more than others. “Oh man, I was worried this might happen…” Greg muttered, shaking his head.
“Oh huh, that thing really was all three of the Gems after all,” Stan noted before he simply took his seat again. “Eh, you know what? I’m not even surprised. I’ve come to expect way weirder from those three.”
“Steven!” Pearl cried as she began to gather her bearings. She dragged herself across the ground to get to him, her body still weak from the strain of fusion. “Oh, thank you so much! You don’t know how horrified I was when that foul dreck nearly fell into our mouths—no offense, Soos.”
“None taken,” Soos shrugged.
“But eating food is so disgusting !” Pearl cringed as she sat up. “You chew it into nasty mush, swallow that goop, and then it comes out of you? What a completely horrid experience!”
“Heh, speak for yourself,” Amethyst said, grinning. “I love it when mush passes through my body!”
“It doesn’t matter what you two think,” Garnet stood between the two as she summoned her gauntlets. “We’re doing this for Steven!” Frustrated, she bonked them both squarely on the heads as punishment for tearing their ruse apart–literally.
“So… I guess it’s safe to say dinner’s ruined now, huh?” Mabel asked, frowning.
“Was it ever really not ruined?” Dipper dryly retorted.
“What is going on here?!” Doug finally spoke up after he shook his shock off. “Who are they?!”
“I-its ok!” Connie anxiously cut in. “I can explain! They’re just-”
“You knew about this?!” Priyanka asked, completely appalled. “I can’t believe this. What else did you know that you failed to tell us? That Mr. Pines is actually a renowned criminal? That tonight’s dinner would be practically inedible?”
“B-but, Mom, I-”
“I knew I should have trusted my bad feelings about these new friends of yours,” she shook her head, frustrated. “But I never thought I wouldn’t be able to trust my own daughter!”
That alone was more than Connie could take. She drew in a sob as she felt all of her lies and secrets violently colliding all around her all at once. And in the wreckage of it all, under the weight of her parents’ crushing disappointment and her own rising shame, Connie quickly fell to pieces. She turned and ran from her angry parents and this disastrous dinner alike. With only a short glance between them, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel decided to follow her, hoping to help, even if they weren’t so sure they could.
“Connie!” Steven called through the trees surrounding the shack. The twins glanced back, glad to see that none of the adults were following them. This was something that needed to be between just the four of them.
They found Connie at the bus stop not too far away from the shack. She stood hugging herself tightly, barely holding back tears, even as her friends hurried up to her. “You guys,” she began, glancing back at them. “I’m so sorry. I’m not ashamed of any of you. I was just so worried that my parents would think all this magic and paranormal stuff is weird and dangerous. What if… what if they don’t let me hang out with you guys anymore?”
She couldn’t stop herself from breaking down all over again at such a horrible thought. The others could only stand by, every bit as shaken by the possibility of them being torn apart. Of their friendship being forced to end, no matter how much they all wanted to stay together.
“Oh, Connie…” Steven sighed, deeply remorseful. “ I’m sorry. I messed up everything by bringing Alexandrite tonight. This is all my fault.”
“Eh, it’s our fault too,” Dipper pointed out. “We should have tried harder to reign Stan in. Maybe if we had, things wouldn’t have gone… Well, they probably still wouldn’t have gone great , but at least they might’ve been a little better.”
“Point is, we’re all sorry!” Mabel chimed in with a small smile. “Together!”
The tension finally started to lift as they all shared a much-needed laugh. Still, even if things were repaired between the four of them, there was still so much uncertainty hanging in the air. Uncertainty that they couldn’t bear to face, even together.
“You know…” Steven began with a wistful sigh. “I wish there was a way we could all just… hang out without having to worry about stuff.”
“Wait a second, that’s it!” Connie exclaimed. “You guys, I know what to do. Let’s just hop on a bus and live somewhere else without telling anyone! That way no one can be mad about all of us being friends!”
A beat of silence passed after such a sudden, outlandish suggestion. One that the others were surprisingly, immediately on board with.
“That sounds like a great idea!” Steven said, grinning.
“I don’t see any problems with it,” Dipper shrugged.
“This is gonna be so much fun!” Mabel happily cheered. As if on cue, a bus pulled up to the stop at that exact moment, and all four of the kids hurried to pile on and share the back seat.
“So, where’s this bus taking us?” Steven asked as they took off.
“It doesn’t matter,” Connie said, resolved. “Wherever we end up, we’ll find a way to survive. I’ve been reading about sustainable living.”
“Yeah! We’ll live off the land!” Mabel proclaimed. “Just like real hobos do!”
“Or maybe this bus will take us to a real apple farm!” Steven proposed with an excited grin.
“What’s up with you and apples today?” Connie chuckled.
“Wait a second,” Dipper cut in as he realized something. “Guys, did we really just get on a bus heading out of town without telling anyone or without coming up with any sort of plan?”
The others exchanged a glance, unsure of how to answer that. There was no time to think their decision through either, as a sudden quake rattled the bus from somewhere on the road behind it.
“Um, what was that?” Connie asked, peering out the back window. The others did the same, only to find a massive, familiar shadow chasing after the bus at a frightening speed.
“STEVEN!” Alexandrite’s furious voice boomed through the surrounding forest.
The kids screamed, terrified, as she caught up to the bus with only a few short steps. As she easily lifted it up into the air, Mabel couldn’t help but point out, “Whoa, you know, being on a bus chased by a loud, angry giant is like, a total déjà vu moment.”
“You four!” Alexandrite shouted at the kids through the back window. “Come out of that bus this instant!”
“Y-you don’t have to tell us twice!” Dipper exclaimed, frightened.
“Y-yeah!” Steven agreed, just as afraid as their ‘runaway’ plan quickly fell to pieces. “Just put the bus down first!”
As soon as the kids were off the bus, Alexandrite unfused, allowing the Gems to escort them back to the shack. There, Stan, Greg, and the Maheswarans stood waiting in a mix of frustration and fear. Both things that were on full display when they confronted the kids for their foolish, reckless plan to run away.
“I don’t even begin with you, young lady,” Priyanka scowled down at her daughter. “You should have known better than to-”
“What the heck is wrong with you two knuckleheads?!” She stopped short when she overheard Stan harshly calling the twins out. “Did you really think you’d be able to make it out there on your own? You kids don’t know anything about how dangerous life on the road is–take it from someone who’s been around the block more than a few times. And I don’t care how fun and glamorous I make it seem sometimes, I don’t ever want you two going out and living on the lamb like I did. Seriously, what were you thinking?!”
“Uh… I guess we weren’t thinking?” Mabel shrugged apologetically.
“Yeah, in hindsight, it was… kind of a bad idea…” Dipper frowned, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Bad? More like downright stupid!” Stan scolded. “And if I ever catch either of you pulling a cockamamie stunt like this again, then I’ll make sure you both get that bus ride you wanted so badly. Only this time, it’ll be a one-way trip back to your parents, you got it?”
The twins exchanged a wide-eyed, fearful glance when they heard this. From Stan’s tone alone, they could tell he was completely serious about this. About sending them home, away from their friends, their fun, their freedom . It was enough to scare them out of ever doing anything like this ever again. And, it was enough to remind them that they needed to keep this summer going, to hold onto it for as long as they possibly could.
Even if that meant they had to keep on lying. Even if that meant they had to keep on hiding everything they’d come to love in such a short amount of time. Even though they still knew… all of this wouldn’t–couldn’t–last forever.
While Stan was confronting the twins, the Gems and Greg were doing the same with Steven. And after how harrowing everything about this evening had been, they made no effort to hide just how upset they truly were with him.
“Steven, we can’t believe this!” Pearl exclaimed, incredulous. “What’s gotten into you, running away with Connie and the twins? You could have gotten yourselves hurt!”
“Or gotten mangled in traffic,” Garnet staunchly added.
“Or thrown in prison,” Amethyst finished, crossing her arms.
“Steven, you are in very big trouble, and we have no choice but to punish you,” Pearl firmly concluded.
“But-” Steven tried to defend himself until Garnet swiftly cut him off.
“No dinner for 1,000 years.”
“1,000 years?!” Steven gasped, alarmed.
“We would never starve you, Steven,” Pearl shook her head. “But you will lose your TV privileges… for 1,000 years.”
“No!” Steven wailed, distraught. “I’ll miss the midseason pre-finale of Under the Knife ! How could you do this to me!?”
“Because we love you, Steven,” Greg said, resting a hand on his shoulder.
“And as for you two,” Stan turned to the twins to dole out a punishment of his own. “If you think I’m such a pushover that I’ll let you get away with something like this scott-free, then you got another thing coming. Consider yourselves grounded from going on any of your little magical, ‘mystery hunts’ until further notice.”
“What?!” Dipper exclaimed as he exchanged a distressed glance with Mabel. “Come on, Grunkle Stan, you can’t just-”
“I can and I am,” Stan coldly returned. “In case you two have forgotten, I’m the boss around here, not you. And it’s about time you runts finally realized that.”
While Steven and the twins were left reeling, a round of applause suddenly sounded from the Maheswarans, of all people. “Wow,” Priyanka said, genuinely impressed. “That was a masterful use of both the ‘because we love you’ and the ‘I’m the boss’ shutdowns. I’m quite partial to ‘it’s for your own good’ myself.”
“Yeah, well it may not have been pretty,” Stan shrugged. “But sometimes these kids gotta learn the hard way.”
“More like the lame way,” Mabel pouted, kicking a rock at her feet.
“Oh, I completely agree,” Priyanka offered Stan with a satisfied smile. “You know, I think I might have been a bit too quick to misjudge you, Mr. Pines. Despite your shady history and your… rough-around-the-edges personality, it’s clear to see that you really do care about your niece and nephew. So I suppose… we both owe you an apology.”
“Yeah, well… I guess I kinda owe you one too,” Stan agreed as he shook Priyanka and Doug’s hands. “Ya’ know, just as long as you don’t call me up anymore to fuss at me over being ‘irresponsible’ or anything like that.”
“I don’t think that will be a problem in the future,” Priyanka chuckled. At the same time, the kids exchanged a confused glance. Because suddenly, without really intervention on their part at all, things were somehow smoothing themselves over. And all it really took was an ill-thought-out runaway scheme. How could they have ever guessed?
“I gotta say,” Doug turned to the Gems with a smirk. “That ‘1,000 years of no dinner bit’ was pretty funny.”
“All comedy is derived from fear,” Garnet sternly said. Nonetheless, the Maheswarans couldn’t help but agree as they shared an amused laugh.
“I didn’t know what to make of the two—excuse me— four of you, at first,” Priyanka began. “But I see that you are all responsible parents—uh, caregivers? Guardians?”
“Heh, thanks,” Greg humbly grinned. “Hey, you know, since dinner here turned out to be a bit of a, uh… bust, why don’t we all just go out for pizza instead? My treat!”
“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Doug nodded.
“Now we’re talking!” Stan agreed just as quickly.
“Did somebody say pizza?” Soos poked his head out of the shack. “Dudes, wait up! I’m coming too!”
“Wait!” Connie cut in before they could all take off. “There’s just one more thing I need to know. Can… Can I still hang out with Steven, Dipper, and Mabel?”
Doug and Priyanka exchanged a brief, skeptical glance, but in the end, they gave the answer all four of the kids were hoping for. “Sure,” Priyanka agreed. “But only if you’re not keeping any more secrets from us.”
“O-oh… well… uh…” Connie trailed off, looking to the others. There were plenty of other things she hadn’t shared with her parents about this summer, things that went far beyond anything they’d seen tonight. While Steven offered her a soft smile, encouraging her to be honest with her parents, Dipper and Mabel did the opposite. Because even after everything that had happened, they were still on the same page as she was. They were still determined to keep their most daunting, dangerous secrets hidden from their parents… and so was she.
“No,” Connie finally said as firmly as she could. “No, ma’am, there… there’s nothing else.”
“Hm,” Priyanka nodded, thankfully buying it. “Very good then.”
“All right!” Mabel cheered as she pulled the others into a celebratory hug. “The Mystery Kids are here to stay!”
While Dipper and Steven shared a laugh, Connie anxiously glanced over at her parents in the midst of this embrace. Sure enough, Doug quickly stepped in to separate them all before the hug could go on a bit too long. Still, it hardly mattered to any of the kids.
After all, they still had all summer left to share plenty more hugs, more smiles, and more special, magical moments together .
Notes:
Next time... an old friend flies back to Earth.
Chapter 30: Dipper and Lapis
Summary:
Dipper makes an unexpected discovery when he finds an old friend near the lake.
Notes:
GOLLY this chapter. I loved it in old UF and I still love it here. I didn't really make any massive overhaul changes to it, but all of the small, subtle shifts I made here really add up to give it kind of a totally different vibe than it had before. I really hope you all like it, but I need to advise you that the dynamic between Dipper and Lapis is strictly platonic. PLEASE do not come into my comments section saying you ship them (like seriously, that's a several thousand year old alien and a literal child, you weirdos). With that warning out of the way, let's get the message and get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
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The evening air was crisp and warm, filled with chirping crickets and glittering fireflies. It was the kind of night that was meant to be enjoyed, to be shared. And that’s exactly what the kids had invited the Gems down to the Mystery Shack to do. After a bit more begging, Stan came out to join them on the porch as they all took in the peaceful scene together.
Steven finished strumming an easygoing tune on his ukulele as he decided to kickstart a conversation instead. “This is so nice,” he said with a soft smile. “All of us, just hanging out and relaxing without having to worry about any super dangerous stuff for a change.”
“For real,” Amethyst agreed as she swallowed the empty soda can Stan passed over to her. “It feels like we’ve been dealing with some kinda crazy junk pretty much every other day this summer.”
“Which is why it’s soooo great to finally have a chance to kick back and relax like this,” Mabel heaved a happy sigh as she reclined back against Lion, with Waddles comfortably tucked into her arms.
“It is certainly a welcome change,” Pearl agreed. “Especially after some of the more… chaotic circumstances we’ve found ourselves in lately.”
“Well, hey,” Dipper began, grinning. “Since the last few weeks have been so intense, maybe that means the rest of the summer will be a little calmer, right?”
He was only joking, they were all able to tell as much as a few of them even chuckled along. At least until Garnet let out a soft, yet still very audible hum as the smile slowly fell from her face. “Don’t count on it,” she said before she could really stop herself.
None of the others really thought too much of such a comment, but Dipper did, especially when he noticed how Garnet very intentionally looked away from everyone else. “What do you mean?” he ventured. While he was hoping for an actual answer this time, he was soon disappointed when he got anything but.
“I… Nothing,” Garnet adjusted her shades as she quickly caught herself. “It’s nothing.”
The kids exchanged a glance, and so did Amethyst and Pearl. Surprisingly, out of everyone, Stan was the first to speak to the curiosity they were all sharing. “What’s the matter, shades? Did your ‘future sight’ clue you in on any freaky disaster heading our way?”
While he let out a laugh, Garnet stayed noticeably silent as she slowly shook her head. If nobody else bought it, at least the Gems did as Pearl made a point of letting out a relieved sigh. “Oh, thank goodness! It’s good to know that we won’t have to worry about any trouble that Homeworld might-”
She starkly cut herself off, her eyes wide as Garnet shot her a stern, warning glance. If that wasn’t enough to tip all three of the kids off that something was up, then nothing would have been.
“Homeworld?” Steven asked. “What might Homeworld do?”
“Nothing,” Garnet quickly assured. “Just like I said.”
“You guys sure aren’t making it seem like it’s ‘nothing’,” Dipper pointed out. “Is… something about to happen soon? Something that has to do with Homeworld?
“ Nothing’s gonna happen,” Amethyst said, shrugging. “The Homeworld warp’s all busted and Peridot’s got the message we don’t want her around, so why stress about it?”
“Amethyst is right” Pearl asserted, though the dread in her voice was clear. “We don’t need to worry. Homeworld isn’t coming back.”
“Ok…” Dipper said, not convinced. “But what if they do come back someday?”
“They’re not ,” Garnet firmly asserted.
“But how do you know that?” Dipper pressed. “Garnet, if your future vision is showing you something bad, don’t you think you should tell us about it so we’ll be prepared for it? Especially if what you saw really was Homeworld coming here?”
“I didn’t see anything,” Garnet insisted. “And even if I did, there’s no guarantee that it would even happen.”
“And besides,” Pearl added, crossing her arms. “We don’t need to prepare for Homeworld, because they’re not coming here . They have no reason to step foot on this planet ever again, so we don’t need to discuss the possibility of it any further than we already have.”
“But-”
“Geez, kid, give it a rest already,” Stan cut Dipper off with an annoyed groan. “If you keep yapping on about all this ‘Homeworld’ stuff, you’re gonna give us all headaches, for sure.” He leaned over to Amethyst to whisper. “Uh, can Gems get headaches?”
“Nope, but we sure can get bored ,” she said, shooting Dipper a pointed look. “Seriously, dude, you worry way too much. No Homeworld chumps are gonna step up on our turf as long as we’re around.”
“Sounds like you guys are just in denial to me,” Dipper said, scowling away from the Gems.
“Nah, Dipper, it sounds to me like you’re just being paranoid , as usual,” Mabel countered, rolling her eyes. “If the Gems are saying nothing’s gonna happen, then nothing’s gonna happen. Why can’t you just believe that?”
There were about a million reasons why; why he couldn’t rest easy, why he couldn’t let this go. All reasons that he was sure the Gems would shut down, just like they always seemed to. He’d hoped that, after everything that had happened this summer so far, he might’ve finally proved himself to them, that they’d finally started to take him seriously. That he was more than just the simple human kid they so clearly saw him as.
Turns out he set his hopes far too high.
Without another word, Dipper stood from his spot in the grass, barely stifling an indignant sigh as he turned to the shack. He’d already lost this battle, clearly, so why bother trying to fight it any more than he already had? Even so, he didn’t slip away as unnoticed as he would have wanted. “Hey, where are you going?” Mabel asked him.
“To bed,” Dipper curtly replied, not glancing back.
“Already?” Steven frowned. “But it’s still pretty early…”
Dipper shrugged as he finally let out the sigh he’d been holding back. “Sorry, I’m just really tired all of the sudden.”
With that, he went inside before anyone else could try to stop him. He hadn’t been lying either; he was tired, but in a way that he knew sleep wouldn’t be able to solve.
Which was exactly why he wasn’t going to.
It took another hour or so before the gathering outside ended and Mabel headed to bed herself. She whispered a good night to Dipper that he didn’t return, even if he was still wide awake as he pretended to sleep. It was only when he started hearing his sister’s soft snores that he slipped out of bed to get to work.
With the journal and his own notes in hand and a mission in mind, he headed for the solitude of the roof. He wasted no time getting his latest round of research underway, pouring over the journal’s pages for one thing and one thing alone: anything that may even remotely hint at Homeworld.
On one hand, he could understand where the Gems were coming from. Homeworld was a touchy subject for them, and why wouldn’t it be after how they’d abandoned it for the Earth? In their eyes, that should have been the end of it–at least until Peridot started showing up. Until the distant threat Homeworld once posed suddenly began to surface all over again.
Unfortunately, it was a threat Dipper knew painfully little about, in no small part because of the Gems. The journal only offered so many precious scraps, but the ones who actually had any worthwhile answers always refused to give them. The Gems weren’t going to be honest with him, clearly, which was why Dipper figured he’d just have to go over their heads. True, he wasn’t likely to find much on his own–he hardly ever did, but he was determined to try all the same. He was determined to try and find a way to help, to be useful, to finally be listened to and heard for a change.
And above all else, he was determined to find the truth. No matter how twisted or terrible that truth might be.
“Come on, journal,” he muttered as he held his blacklight just above the book. “If the Gems won’t talk about Homeworld, then maybe you can point me to someone who will .” Someone like the missing author, or another tape Rose might’ve left behind, or–
Or the loud streak of light tearing its way across the night sky.
Dipper tore his gaze away from the journal to watch such a dazzling display. At first, he suspected it was nothing more than a shooting star, maybe even the start of a meteor show. His fascination soon turned to fear, however, as that “star” only grew bigger and bigger before it finally crashed down to Earth.
He jumped to his feet as the echoes of the resounding explosion reached him, watching in awe as the light faded from somewhere near the lake, if he could guess. Far, but not so far that he couldn’t get over there and check it out before the sun came up. Someone had to, and after how they’d failed to act the last time something crash-landed on Earth, Dipper wasn’t about to just leave this in the Gems’ hands. Not this time, when he was more than capable of investigating it for himself.
Still, a little backup never hurt when it came to dealing with the unknown. He hurried back inside, tucking the journal away before he tried to rouse his sister. “Mabel, wake up,” he kept his voice low so Stan wouldn’t hear. After all, they were still grounded from mystery hunting, and what he was about to do certainly fell under that category. Not that their punishment mattered much to Dipper right now. “I just saw something come down from space and it crashed near the lake. We’ve gotta go check it out!”
Despite her brother shaking her shoulder, Mabel simply rolled over, groggily muttering, “Mm, cake…”
“No, the lake !” Dipper corrected, annoyed. “We have to hurry before whatever that thing is disappears or runs away or-”
“I’ll be right over, brooo…” Mabel cooed, still mostly asleep. “Just gimme an hour… or two… or ten…”
“Mabel?” Dipper tried one last time, to no avail. “Ugh, fine ,” he facepalmed as he turned to grab his jacket. “Guess I’m on my own then. What else is new?”
Without skipping a beat, Dipper snuck downstairs, relieved to find Stan was nowhere in sight. That made it easy enough for him to slip out of the shack as a timely plan struck him. Getting over to the lake on foot would take hours that he might not have. But the trip would only take minutes … on the back of a certain magical lion he just so happened to know.
On nights like this, Lion often slept outside, just under the temple’s porch. He peacefully snoozed away, at least until he sensed someone quietly approaching. In a flash, he was on his feet, teeth bared as he glared and growled at Dipper before he could get too close.
“Um, h-hey, Lion!” he greeted with a forced smile. “So, I know you and I aren’t exactly the best of friends–” He stopped short as Lion snarled even louder, as if to remind him of that fact. “Ok, we aren’t really friends at all , but maybe we could forget about that just for tonight? I need you to give me a ride over to the lake, alright?”
At the very least, Lion didn’t outright attack him as he turned his nose up and turned back to his sleeping spot. Fortunately, Dipper came prepared. “What if I make it worth your while?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a mostly-frozen Lion Licker. Lion snapped his gaze back at the treat and almost swatted it right out of Dipper’s hand before he narrowly pulled it back. “Hold it. You want this? Then give me a ride to the lake.”
Lion agreed to these terms, albeit with a begrudging huff as he sat and allowed Dipper to climb onto his back. He quickly got back at him by taking off without any warning, and though he nearly fell off, Dipper still managed to steady himself as Lion rushed through the darkness of the woods.
“Ok,” Dipper took to talking to himself to calm his nerves along the way. “We’re just gonna go see what that thing was, and if it seems dangerous, then we’ll go get the Gems. But… knowing them, they probably won’t believe me, again .” He sighed as he set his sights on the waterfall cliff–and whatever might await him there. “W-well, maybe I won’t need them anyway. I mean, I’ve dealt with stuff like this before. I can totally handle whatever this thing is, right?” He looked to Lion for an answer, only to quickly remember who he was talking to when he got nothing more than a sullen growl as a response. “Right… Good talk, Lion. Good talk.”
As soon as they made it to the top of the waterfall cliff, Lion brought this ride to a sudden end. He reared onto his front legs, kicking Dipper off his back and onto the ground. “Ow! Lion, what-” Before he could even sit up, Lion stood over him, growling down at him to demand his “payment”. “Ok, here! Take it!” Dipper pulled the Lion Licker out of his pocket and tossed it away from him. Lion pounced after it, tearing the plastic off as he eagerly devoured the treat. Dipper paid him little mind as he picked himself up off the ground and turned to the “crash site” ahead of him.
Whatever it was, it had come down with enough force to tear a large hole into the top of the cliff. The edges of that hole were still steaming, and strangely wet as they glistened in the moonlight. Suddenly uneasy, Dipper grabbed the first stick he could find as he made his slow approach. It wasn’t much of a weapon, but at least it was something to help him fend off… whatever it was he was about to face.
He found he had even less time to prepare as he reached the edge of the crater. As wet and slippery as the stone beneath him was, he quickly fell. Unable to catch himself in time, he tumbled straight into the hole, plummeting down into the waterfall cave with a frightened shout. And yet, just before he could hit the cave’s hard, unforgiving floor, something caught him just in time.
That something, Dipper soon found out, was water. He choked on a mouthful of it as he desperately swam up to the surface, not of a pond, but of a bubble , hovering only about a foot or so above the ground. As bewildering as it was, his first thought was to escape it somehow. A thought that quickly fell away when a soft, strangely familiar voice sounded from the shadows of the cave.
“Dipper…?”
“Huh?” he froze, alarmed to find he wasn’t alone. “W-who’s there?! I’m warning you, I have a–well, I had a stick…” He frowned down at his “weapon”, now lying uselessly on the floor below him.
His shifted his gaze up, however, when a bare, blue foot slowly stepped into the moonlight spilling into the cave from above. Whoever they were, they hesitated, only for a beat, before they finally revealed themselves. Before Dipper found himself standing– swimming –before a Gem he was so sure he’d never see again.
“Lapis?!”
He could scarcely believe it, but sure enough, there she was, her eyes wide as the surprise on her face practically mirrored his own. For a moment, neither of them spoke as they simply stared at each other, unsure of what to say to break the stunned silence between them. At least until Dipper glanced down at the orb of water Lapis had caught him in.
“Uh… do you mind…?”
“Oh, right.” With a wave of Lapis’ hand, the water dispersed as soon as she lowered it to the ground, leaving Dipper free, but soaking wet. “Sorry. I thought you were… n-never mind.”
Dipper frowned, confused, but he didn’t press the matter further. After all, he had plenty more questions on his mind right off the bat. “Um, not that I’m not happy to see your or anything–I am , but-”
“Dipper,” Lapis suddenly interrupted him. “What are you doing here?”
“What am I-” he cut himself off, bewildered. “I was just about to ask you the same thing. I thought you flew back to Homeworld after Steven healed your gem.”
Lapis shuddered as she loosely wrapped her arms around herself. “I did, but…” She shook her head and let out a deeply sad sigh. “Let’s just say Homeworld… it wasn’t anything like how I remembered it…”
“What do you mean?”
Lapis didn’t answer. Instead, she turned her back on him, still hugging herself as she softly said, “Dipper, you should go.”
“No!” Dipper protested before he could stop himself. He couldn't stand it, the thought of being locked out of knowing by yet another Gem. But as angry as it made him, he quickly cooled down when he caught the startled look Lapis sent his way. “I-I mean… I thought you wanted to go back to Homeworld, more than anything. Heck, you even stole the lake just so you could get there. So… what happened once you got there that made you want to leave so quickly?”
Lapis sighed again, still silent as she walked over to the outcropping overlooking the waterfall pool. She took a seat on its edge, and Dipper joined her, listening intently as she offered up her solemn answer.
“You’re right. I did want to go back. I just…” Lapis hesitated as she stared into the water below them. “When I got back to Homeworld… I realized that I just… didn’t belong there anymore. I was trapped in that mirror for thousands of years, and so many things changed while I was gone. It was barely even the same planet anymore. It didn’t even feel like I was home…”
Just like that, any shred of curiosity Dipper felt was swiftly replaced with sympathy instead. He couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for Lapis, to spend so long waiting for something, only to finally get it and find it was nothing like she’d hoped it’d be. He honestly didn’t know what to say to console her beyond, “Oh man, Lapis… I’m so sorry things didn’t work out…”
“It’s fine,” Lapis said, even if it wasn’t. “It’s not like it’s your fault anyway. And despite… everything, I still owe a lot to you and Steven and Mabel. If it wasn’t for you three, well, I’d still be stuck in that mirror right now.”
She let out a bitter laugh that Dipper didn’t share. Instead, he looked down, his brow furrowed as he posed another question. “So… why did you decide to come back to Earth?”
Lapis took pause, her eyes widening, for just a moment, until she looked away, rubbing her arm. “I, um… couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. But I don’t plan on staying for long. Just a few hours to clear my head, and then I’m-”
“A few hours?” Dipper cut in, frowning. “Are you sure you don’t want to stick around just a little longer than that?”
“Why would I?” Lapis asked. “You know I haven’t had the best experience on this planet…”
“R-right…” Dipper couldn’t help but agree. Still, some selfish part of him forced him to persist all the same. “Well, it’s just… the last time any of us saw you, you were either trapped in a mirror or trying to take the waterfall. It’s not like we really got to hang out with you between any of that.”
“Hang out?” Lapis questioned, not following.
“Yeah, you know, just relax and have some fun?” Dipper said with a small, earnest smile. “I mean, I guess we had a little fun with you while you were still in the mirror, but it wasn’t the same as you being here in person.”
“No, I guess it wasn’t…” Lapis admitted with a wistful sigh.
“Well, now you are here,” Dipper pointed out. “And I’m just sort of wondering… what’s the rush? You made it all the way to Earth, so why not just take it easy for a few days? Rest up and figure out what you want to do next?” He almost added a “please” to his appeal, but he thought better of it. True, he hadn’t gotten to spend much time around Lapis before, but he knew enough to want to tread carefully around her. Less for his own sake, and more for hers; the last thing he wanted was to make someone who had been trapped for so long ever feel that way again.
But what he wanted even less was to lose a friend like her all over again.
Try as he might to not come across as too pleading, Lapis still caught it in his face all the same. It didn’t take her long to cave under that thin, hopeful smile, infectious to the point that one slowly began to slip onto her face too. “O-ok,” she hesitantly agreed. “I… I’ll stay. But only for a few days.”
“Really?” Dipper asked, barely hiding his excitement. “Well, that’s great! Steven and Mabel will be so happy to see you again and-”
“Whoa, hold on.” Alarm flashed over Lapis’ face as she rested a firm hand on his shoulder. “You can’t tell anyone I’m here on Earth. Not Steven, not Mabel, and especially not those Crystal Gems.”
“Uh… why not?” Dipper frowned, caught off guard by just how gravely serious she was about this.
“Oh, well… I-I… I just want to lay low for a while, you know?” Lapis said, but Dipper could tell there was more to it than that. But whatever the true reason was, she wasn’t telling and he wasn’t about to force it out of her. Not right now, anyway. “A-and… you said so yourself: Steven and Mabel would be pretty excited to see me again, right? If that’s true, then… then I don’t want them to be disappointed when they find out I’m leaving in a few days…”
“Yeah, I’m sure they won’t be the only ones disappointed by that,” Dipper sighed, crossing his arms.
“A-and you too, Dipper!” Lapis quickly corrected herself. “I don’t want you to be disappointed either. To be honest, I was… kind of hoping that no one would find me out here at all…”
“I’m… sorry for finding you on accident then?”
“No! That’s not what I-” Lapis cut herself off with a steadying sigh as she ran a hand through her hair. “Look,” she began, putting her hand back on his shoulder. “I just… don’t want anyone else knowing I’m here, ok? I'm hoping that all this can stay between the two of us. You can do that for me… can’t you, Dipper?”
It dawned on Dipper almost immediately exactly what Lapis was asking him to do. She wanted him to stay silent about her return, from Homeworld, of all places; to not tell anyone about such a momentous, important discovery. To keep it all under wraps, not just from the Gems, but from Steven, from Mabel, from everyone . It was a heavy responsibility, one that he ultimately found he couldn’t really say no to when he noticed the quiet panic, the sheer desperation written all over her face.
And besides, Dipper was so used to everyone else always keeping secrets from him. Maybe it was time for him to start keeping one of his own.
“Yes,” he finally, soundly agreed. “Yes, I can. I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”
Lapis breathed a sigh of relief as her hand slipped off his shoulder. “Thank you,” she said, smiling. “I knew I could count on you.”
“Of course,” he returned just shy of a tired yawn slipping out. The adrenaline of the night’s escapade was slowly draining from him, leaving him sleepier by the second. It was starting to get harder to keep his eyes open as he absently leaned against whatever was closest to him. Which just so happened to be Lapis.
She flinched, surprised, as she looked down at him as he began to drift off. Still, he was awake enough to smile and softly mutter, “You know, Lapis, it really is good to see you again…”
“Dipper?” Lapis frowned, unsure of what was happening to him. She lightly nudged him, only to jump when his head slipped off her shoulder. He slumped, already fast asleep by now, to the point that his head to lay on her lap. Lapis’ hands flew away from him, her eyes wide with alarm as she tried rousing him again. She only stopped when she noticed the soft smile still hanging on his face, when she realized that whatever state he was in right now, he was as comfortable as he could be.
It struck her deeply, just how small and innocent he truly looked in the cave’s low light, resting perfectly peacefully on her lap. She didn’t understand, really, why it felt so good to see him that way. Why she wanted him to stay that way for as long as he could. Why seeing him that safe and happy somehow made her feel safe and happy too.
She shared his smile as she reached down to gently brush his hair out of his eyes, content to sit here in silence, to let him do… whatever it was he was up to. Content to stay on a planet she once wanted to leave more than anything else as she slowly started to realize–maybe not everything here was as bad as she thought.
“Yeah,” she finally agreed with him, her voice no more than a fond whisper when she said, “It’s good to see you again too.”
Despite only getting a few short hours of sleep, Dipper couldn’t remember the last time he woke up feeling so well-rested. For a moment, he didn’t even bother opening his eyes, simply lying there and listening to the gentle rush of water somewhere nearby.
Wait, rushing water?
His eyes flew open, and for a brief moment, he had no idea where he was. His alarm soon faded when he glanced up to find Lapis leaning over him with a worried frown on her face. “Dipper? Are you alright?”
“Um… yeah?”
“Oh, good. You just… closed your eyes and stopped moving for the past few hours. I thought something was wrong…”
“Lapis, I was just sleeping,” Dipper raised an eyebrow when he caught a blank look from Lapis. “Uh, it’s something humans sort of need to do every night?”
“Oh,” she nodded, without really understanding.
“Still, I can’t believe I fell asleep–” He stopped short when he sat up and glanced back at where he’d been lying. “On your lap ?! Oh my gosh,” he covered his face as it flushed red. “That’s so embarrassing ! I’m really sorry, Lapis-”
“It’s fine, really,” Lapis chuckled. “I didn’t mind at all. Whatever this ‘sleep’ thing is, it seemed like you were enjoying it, so I didn’t want to interrupt you. I might have to give it a try myself sometime.”
Dipper eased up a little at that, though panic set in all over again when he glanced up at the hole above them, only to find the first hints of dawn lighting up the sky. “Oh man, it’s already morning?!” he asked as he hurried to his feet. “I gotta get back to the shack before Mabel and Grunkle Stan notice I’m gone. Lapis, can you give me a lift back up?”
“Sure,” Lapis nodded. Using a bit of water from the pool, she created a solid platform for him to stand on, one that rose up toward the hole with him in tow. “I guess I’ll see you later then?”
“You will,” he assured, smiling. “Uh, by the way, thanks for letting me crash here last night.”
“But you didn’t crash into here,” Lapis corrected, confused. “You fell, remember?”
“...Right,” Dipper let out a small laugh. He knew the Gems were literal to a fault, but Lapis took it to an all new level, it seemed. Still, he offered her one final wave before he landed back on solid ground above. While he hated to leave her on her own, he still smiled as he began to make the trek back to the shack, knowing it wouldn’t be for long. He’d be back to keep her company, for however long she planned on staying, for however long she wanted him to keep him the secret she saw fit to trust him with.
Trust that he was determined to uphold, no matter how incredible or impossible that secret might be.
Somehow, Dipper made it back to the shack just as the sun finished rising, no thanks to Lion. Still, he managed to make the trip on foot before sneaking back into the shack without Stan noticing. He wasn’t so lucky when he got to the attic, however, to find his sister already wide awake and ready for the day.
“M-Mabel!” Dipper froze up in the doorway as she shot him a wide-eyed look. “What are you doing up so early?”
“I’m always up this early,” Mabel pointed out. “Everyone knows right after sunrise is peak knitting hours. But the better question is, why are you up so early?” She offered him a broad, sly grin. “And where did you run off to last night? What, did you have a midnight date or something?”
“Wha–no!” Dipper quickly clarified. Still, he wasn’t about to say where he really was either. “I didn’t go anywhere last night. I was just, uh… getting back from a-an… early morning run! Y-yeah, uh… just a plain-old, totally normal, morning run. Nothing weird or suspicious about that at all.”
Mabel snorted out a laugh. “You? Going on a ‘morning run’? Yeah right! I’ve never seen you do anything like that in all 12 of the years I’ve known you for. So spill it, brother!” She dramatically pointed a finger at him. “What kind of sneaky shenanigans were you really up to last night?”
Before Dipper could even think of an answer, Steven happened to poke his head into the room with an eager smile on his face. “Did somebody say sneaky shenanigans? We’re starting early today, huh? Usually we wait for some kind of magical or mysterious stuff to kick things off.”
“Well, Dipper’s already way ahead of us on that,” Mabel crossed her arms. “He snuck out super late on his own last night.”
“Whoa, really?” Steven asked, impressed. “That’s so cool! Where’d you go?”
“Ugh, nowhere, Steven,” Dipper reiterated, rolling his eyes. “Mabel’s just overexaggerating, as usual.”
“I am not!” Mabel stomped her foot down in protest. “I remember you trying to wake me up last night to get me to come along with you to check out some kind of cake or something. Or maybe you said lake instead... I dunno, I was still mostly asleep.”
“The lake?” Steven asked as Dipper tensed up. “What was over at the lake?”
“I-it was nothing!” Dipper shook his head as he came up with a quick lie. “I thought I saw something out that way, so I decided to go check it out. Turns out it was just, uh… a-a bunch of tourists setting off illegal fireworks!”
“Fireworks, huh?” Mabel asked, still skeptical. But for now, at least, she was willing to let it go, much to Dipper’s relief. “Whatever you say, bro-bro. But you better hope that Grunkle Stan doesn't find out about your little midnight run over to the lake. We’re still grounded from mystery hunting, remember?”
“You’d better not tell him, Mabel!” Dipper called as she headed over to join Steven at the door.
“Don’t worry, I won’t,” Mabel put her hands up, grinning all the while.
“Well, we're off to go make some pancake omelets!” Steven said. “Since you're already up, Dipper, you should join us!”
“Uh... I think I'll pass,” Dipper headed over to the nightstand to reclaim the journal. “I have some… stuff I need to take care of.”
“What kind of stuff?” Mabel narrowed her eyes at him.
“Just… just some errands in town, ok?” he glared back at her as he threw his backpack over his shoulders. “Would you cut it out with all the questions already? You’re turning nothing into something, just like you always do.”
“Fine, Mr. Grumpy-Pants,” Mabel scoffed as he passed her and Steven by. “We’re gonna go have fun, like normal people. See you when you decide to stop being all cryptic or whatever.”
Dipper didn’t bother dignifying that with a response as he headed out, leaving his very perplexed sister behind. “Steven, please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks he’s acting super weird,” she let out a frustrated huff. “Weirder than usual, I mean.”
“He did seem a little on edge, now that you mention it,” Steven noted, concerned. “Do you think something’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” Mabel admitted. “If something was wrong, he’d totally tell me about it. We never hide anything from each other.”
“Well… maybe he just doesn’t know how to tell you about… whatever it is.”
“Maybe…” Mabel mused, perching her hand to her chin. “Which is why we’re gonna figure it out first.”
“Wait, we are?” Steven asked, caught off guard.
Mabel nodded as a confident, daring grin spread wide across her face. “If Dipper thinks he can keep a secret from me , he’s got another thing coming. We’re getting to the bottom of this, and nothing’s gonna stop us!”
“Uh, can we make those pancake omelets first though?” Steven asked. “We can’t solve a mystery on an empty stomach.”
“...Ok, yeah, you’ve got a point,” Mabel couldn’t help but agree. “But after that, nothing’s gonna stop us!”
Lapis wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself. She hadn’t come to this planet with much of a plan or a strategy or anything really. If she was perfectly honest with herself, she wasn’t sure why she’d even come back here at all. She had no fondness for the Earth, no desire to stay any longer than the thousands of years she already had. She might’ve already left by now too; she might’ve taken to the stars, flown as fast and as far as her wings could take her, if not for–
“Lapis! It’s me: Dipper! Are you still down there?”
She couldn’t stifle the smile that showed up as soon as she heard his voice. She peered up at the hole in her cave to find Dipper looking down at her with a smile of his own. To avoid a repeat of last night, Lapis made a watery platform to bring him down to her level.
“Morning, Lapis. How are you holding up down here?”
“About as good as I can, I guess. I’m surprised you came back so soon.”
“Well, I didn’t really feel like sticking around the shack only for Mabel to pester me with a million questions about where I was last night,” Dipper scoffed, somewhere between a smirk and a scowl. “So I figured I’d come hang out here with you for a bit. Is… is that ok?”
“I don’t mind,” Lapis shrugged. “But… I still don’t really know how this whole ‘hanging out’ thing works…”
“Well, like I said last night, it’s just about unwinding and having fun,” Dipper explained. “We could start by going somewhere and-” He cut himself off, abandoning the idea when he caught the wary face Lapis was making. “O-or we could just stay here and, I don’t know, talk or do something you enjoy?”
“Something I enjoy…” Lapis echoed, thinking for a beat. “Well, I like practicing with my powers.”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s something I can really do with you,” Dipper pointed out. “But I can always just watch. It’d be cool to see your magic in action when you’re not using it to try and kill us.”
“Yeah… again, I’m really sorry about that…” Lapis winced as she hopped down to stand on the surface of the pool below. With just a flick of her wrist, its water was hers to command and she did so with ease to create a beautifully flowing fountain out of nothing at all.
Dipper took a seat on the edge of the bluff, already fascinated as he watched her work. It didn’t take him long to pull the journal out of his bag so he could sketch out what he was seeing. As caught up in his new entry as he was, he didn’t notice when Lapis glanced back up at him only to find that he was distracted. With a single flap of her watery wings, she was back on the bluff again, standing behind him as she decided to watch him instead of the other way around.
“What are you doing?”
“L-Lapis!” Dipper started, slamming the journal shut. He nearly dropped it into the pool below, but he narrowly managed to catch it as he stood and tucked it behind his back. “I was, uh, just watching you! Like I said I wanted to do!”
Lapis raised an eyebrow at such a poor excuse. Still, her curiosity quickly got the better of her as she asked, “Can I see it? Please?”
Dipper hesitated, but he ultimately handed it over. Lapis’ face filled with fascination as she began leafing through the book’s bizarre entries. “What is all this?”
“It’s… a journal I found in the woods at the beginning of the summer,” he explained, glancing down. “It’s filled with a bunch of notes about all the weird, supernatural things that live here in Gravity Falls.”
“I’ve never seen creatures like these before…” Lapis mused, amazed. “Did you write all of this?”
“Me? Oh, no, of course not!” Dipper laughed, flustered. “Well, at least not most of it. I still don’t know who wrote the first half, but, um… I have been keeping a few pages of my own in the back. But they’re really nothing special; you don’t have to look at them if you don’t-” He stopped short when he noticed Lapis eagerly flipping to the back half of the book. “And… you’re going to anyway… great…”
He looked away, already anticipating the mockery and criticism to come. He could almost hear it, not in Lapis’ voice, but in someone else’s entirely as they coldly said, “ This is what you’ve been wasting your summer on?”, “None of this nonsense even matters in the first place!”, “Why don’t you do something worthwhile for a change?”
Except… Lapis didn’t say any of that. Instead, she offered him a warm, gentle, downright proud smile and said, “These are really, really good, Dipper! You must have worked very hard on them.”
He froze, unsure of how to even accept such genuine praise, so unlike what he was so used to hearing. “I-it… it was no big deal,” he muttered, suddenly bashful. “But thanks…”
“I can’t believe you’ve actually seen all these things,” Lapis continued examining the journal’s contents. She paused, however, when she caught sight of a sketch of herself among its many pages. “Is that… me?”
“No!” Dipper suddenly snatched the journal away from her. She frowned as she met his wide-eyed, embarrassed gaze. It slowly folded into something more akin to shame as he let her see the book once again. “Ok, fine. It’s just… there’s a lot of Gem-related stuff in there, a-and I thought you should have your own page too, but… I’m sorry. I should have asked you first. I can just tear it out if you-”
“No,” Lapis closed the book and smiled as she handed it back over to him. “You should keep it.”
“R-really?”
“Really,” she nodded, pressing her hand onto its cover. “If it’s important to you, then it’s important to me too.”
“If it’s important to you, then it’s important to me too.” That single sentence, as simple as it was, had Dipper reeling from the second Lapis said it. Nobody had ever, ever said something like that to him before, not his friends, not his sister, certainly not his parents back home. But now… here was Lapis, standing here, smiling at him, and wholeheartedly telling him that what he cared about actually mattered. She didn’t just shrug it aside or push him away, but willingly, eagerly listened as he started showing her even more of what the journal had to offer.
She sat down alongside him, engrossed in his stories, asking all the right questions and laughing right along with him. And as he painted the picture of summer so far, from the Gobblewonker to the Gideon-bot and everything in between Dipper couldn’t help but think about how lucky he was to have found an entirely new kind of friend, unlike any he’d ever had before.
How lucky he was to have finally found a friend like her.
When he woke up the next day, Dipper didn’t have to think too hard about where he wanted to spend it. Evading Mabel was easy enough this time around–he pretended to sleep in before he slipped out through the gift shop while she was busy tending to Waddles. From there, he made his way over to the waterfall cave, to meet with Lapis and kick off the adventure they’d both agreed upon the previous day.
After detailing so many past investigations and escapades, Dipper extended the offer to Lapis to have a new one, entirely of their own. While hesitant, Lapis soon found herself agreeing, if only to watch the way his eyes lit up with excitement when she said yes. Fortunately, they wouldn’t have to go far to find such a quest. The journal described a series of tunnels carved just beyond the waterfall cave, leading all the way through the surrounding mountains. They weren’t entirely sure what they’d find there, but they still set off into the darkness together, eager to see what might await them inside.
“So, what are we looking for again?” Lapis wondered, looking around. Guided by Dipper’s flashlight alone, the tunnels were winding, narrow, and seemingly empty as their voices echoed right back at them.
“I’m not really sure,” Dipper shrugged. “I guess we’ll just have to keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary–or just wait for something strange to run into us first. That’s what usually happens on a mystery hunt–n-not that this is one of them! After all, I’m technically grounded from mystery hunting, so… yeah. Totally not a mystery hunt.”
“Oh, yeah, totally not,” Lapis chuckled. “But don’t worry. Even if it was, it’s not like I’m going to tell anyone.”
“Heh, thanks,” Dipper said, though his smile soon fell. A question was eating away at him, one that had been at the back of his head ever since Lapis’ first night back. One that he figured now would be as good a time as any to ask, in the privacy of the very depths of the earth. “Um, speaking of not telling anyone… Are you really sure we can’t let Steven and Mabel know that you’re back?”
“Yes, I am,” Lapis tersely, tensely replied. “I already told you: the fewer people who know I’m here, the better.”
“But why?” Dipper pressed, even though he knew he shouldn’t. Not when it was so clearly such a sore subject for her. But still, he couldn’t help himself from asking, “Does… does it have to do with why you left Homeworld?”
“No,” Lapis sternly shook her head. “Dipper, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“Well, I do !” Dipper insisted, fueled by frustration he’d been feeling for far too long now. “All I want, all I’ve ever wanted is to know the truth, but nobody wants to give that to me, not even you! What really happened on Homeworld that made you want to leave it so badly?!”
Lapis simply, silently walked past him, wrapping her arms around herself as she let out a sad, unsteady sigh. Even so, that was nowhere near enough to get Dipper to back down now. Not when he was so close to finally getting the answers he’d been looking for. “You trusted me enough to not tell anyone you came back, right?” he implored, practically desperate at this point. “W-well, you can trust me with this too! I won’t tell anyone why you left Homeworld either, I promise!”
“Dipper, that’s not-” Lapis cut herself off. The dread in her voice was as clear as could be as she tried in vain to explain herself, even if she had no idea where to even start. “Look, I want to tell you what happened, I really do, but I just–oh!”
She jumped, startled, when something suddenly bumped into her leg from behind. Whatever she was about to say was soon forgotten when Dipper brought his flashlight up so they could both see what awaited them ahead. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of small, sparkling orbs hung from the cavern walls, shining like crystals when the light hit them. Even more impressive yet, these crystals seemed to be alive , gently moving against each other as they let out a soft, chirping sort of song.
“What are these things?” Lapis carefully picked the one that had bumped into her up. Its little legs kicked about a bit as it rested in the palm of her hand, squeaking in protest all the while.
“I think I’ve seen these things in the journal before…” Dipper pulled the book out to leaf through it. “Oh, here they are. ‘Geodites: These creatures resemble living geodes. They make high-pitched chirping and humming sounds, and amble about on clanking crystal legs. Considering their odd, pack-mentality and their aforementioned crystalline appendages, I'm inclined to believe that these Geodites are Gem in origin'. ”
“Wait, these things are Gems ?” Lapis frowned down at the tiny, feral creature in her hand. It certainly didn’t look like any Gem she’d ever seen before. “But how?”
“They must be more of those corrupted Gem monsters,” Dipper concluded as he put the journal away.
“Corrupted…?” Lapis wondered in a whisper. She didn’t get a chance to ask about it any further, however, before the Geodites’ song suddenly shifted. It grew louder, higher-pitched, far more eerie than it had been mere moments ago. The haunting melody echoed through the cavern, only ceasing as a sudden, startling rumbling rose up over it. The source of that clamor soon became all too clear as another Geodite, far more massive than all the rest, stormed into the cavern with a deep, menacing roar.
“There’s a bigger one?” Dipper asked, surprised. He had half a mind to pull the journal back out and add onto the journal’s notes about these creatures. In fact, he had only just reached into his backpack for his camera when a sharp warning cry from Lapis caught his attention instead.
“Look out!” She acted quickly, pushing Dipper out of the way of the largest Geodite’s heavy legs. It hardly stopped there, though. It continued its rampage, swiveling around to mindlessly charge at the pair of intruders that had stumbled onto its territory.
“Come on!” Lapis grabbed Dipper by the wrist, pulling him along after him as they ran back in the direction they came. The small Geodites were quick to cut their only escape route off, clustering around the open tunnel to keep them trapped with their much larger, more dangerous counterpart.
When the large Geodite lunged at them again, Lapis met it squarely with a sturdy wall of solid water formed from her very own wings. She managed to push the creature back, but only barely, as it quickly recovered to beset them again. “How do we stop this thing?!” Lapis asked, straining against the Geodite beating against her aquatic shield.
“I don’t know!” Dipper rapidly flipped through the journal for clues. “There’s nothing in here about big Geodites, just the little ones!”
Before Lapis could say another word, the Geodite suddenly slammed into the wall of water–and straight into her along with it. Lapis hit the nearest wall hard, to the point that she barely heard Dipper’s worried call for her as she struggled to pick herself up off the ground. The Geodite rushed for her, ready to finish what it started, at least until something struck it squarely in the side.
“Hey!” Dipper grabbed another smaller Geodite, more than ready to throw it, just like he had the last. “Leave her alone!”
Just as the larger Geodite turned, he let its tinier kin fly straight for its “face”. He was surprised to find the collision left a sizable chip in the creature’s crystalline body–just the sort of advantage they needed right now. “Oh my gosh, that’s it!” Dipper exclaimed. “Lapis, I know how to beat it! We just need to-”
He was sharply cut off when the Geodite, as enraged as ever, lashed out at him this time. Lapis recovered just in time to see Dipper get kicked down and pinned to the cave floor by his vest. As the Geodite raised one of its other legs to crush him, to kill him, something inside of Lapis snapped . She thought of nothing other than the fact that she had to save him, to protect him, no matter what it took.
With a sort of fury she didn’t know she had in her, she raised her arms with a vicious shout, shaping her wings into a powerful hand. She brought it high, ready to brutally beat the monster away from Dipper, until he suddenly stopped her just before she could. “Lapis, wait!” he called, still struggling to pull himself free. “Hit it with the smaller Geodites! They're the only things that'll put a dent in it!”
Lapis didn’t question his advice. Instead, she quickly followed it, using her watery hand to scoop up as many of the smaller creatures as she could. From there, she rapidly fired them at the larger Geodite, refusing to let up until it finally reared back away from Dipper. Lapis hardly stopped there though; she kept on launching Geodites until she ran out of them, but by then, all of the creatures had gotten the message. As Lapis hurried over to Dipper to help him off the ground, the lead Geodite let out another deep trill, beckoning the rest of its kin to follow it deeper into the tunnels. They retreated without any further incident, leaving Dipper and Lapis to share a much-needed sigh of relief.
“Lapis, that was amazing!” Dipper said with a wide, impressed smile. “I’ve never seen anything like that before. You took that thing on like it was nothing!”
“Heh, well, I couldn’t have done it without you figuring out how to stop it in the first place,” Lapis playfully ruffled his hair. “Looks like we make a pretty good team, huh?”
“Yeah, we do,” Dipper warmly agreed. Even so, he could still feel a bit of tension lingering between them from before. Tension he knew he started, which was why it was up to him to resolve it. “Um, Lapis? I’m sorry about earlier. It’s just… I’m so tired of nobody being honest with me. But, you’ve been through so much and I guess I just sort of… forgot about that. If you don’t want to talk about Homeworld, then… then that’s fine with me.”
“...Thank you…” Lapis said as her smile faded away into something much more solemn. Something was still troubling her, that much was clear. And while he didn’t know exactly what that something was, Dipper quickly came up with a way to take her mind off of it all the same.
“Hey, uh, you know, we did just beat back a huge, rampaging Gem monster. We should celebrate.”
“Celebrate? How?”
“Let’s take a photo,” Dipper pulled his camera out of his bag. “That way, we’ll always have a way to look back on our first mystery hunt.”
Lapis stared at the unfamiliar object in Dipper’s hand, completely confused. Even so, she decided to take his word for it. “Um, ok then?”
Dipper stepped a bit closer to Lapis, urging her to lean down to his level as he turned the camera around to face them. “Ok, just look here and smile in 3, 2, 1-” He snapped a photo, briefly filling the cave with the camera’s bright flash.
Lapis blinked, caught off guard by it as she rubbed her eyes to clear them. “What was that ?”
“It was just the flash,” Dipper laughed as he pulled the developed photo out of the camera. “It just makes sure there’s enough light for us to take the picture, see?”
Lapis reacted just about the last way he could have expected her to when he passed the photo over to her. “No,” a sharp, horrified gasp escaped her, her eyes wide with fear as she stared at the picture in her hand. “No, not again!”
“Lapis?” Dipper spoke up amidst her rising panic.
“Dipper, that… that machine of yours, it trapped us inside this piece of paper!” Lapis exclaimed, distressed. “I don’t know how it did it, but here we are, stuck inside of this thing with no way of getting out, just like the mirror!”
“…What?”
“I can’t do this again! And I can’t let you be trapped like I was either! Maybe if I tear it, then we’ll-”
“Whoa, Lapis, wait!” Dipper took the picture from her just in time. “We’re not trapped inside this thing. It’s just a picture of us from a few minutes ago. It’s ok.”
“B-but…” Lapis trailed off, frowning down at the photo. It was only as she met the small, reassuring smile he was giving her that she finally managed to calm down. “It… it's ok…”
“Um, you can have this, if you want,” Dipper handed the photo back over to her. “Then again, maybe we ought to take a better one.”
Lapis hesitantly agreed, still keeping a wary eye on the camera when Dipper snapped another photo. She still didn’t smile though, at least not until she got a bit more encouragement from Dipper. The rest of the pictures came out much better as a result, turning from distrustful to downright cheerful in only a matter of minutes. By the time they were done, Dipper had plenty of smile-filled photos to take back with him, and plenty more for Lapis to keep for herself. An entire collection of photos for them to share, forever capturing such a special moment in time.
A moment neither of them were bound to forget anytime soon.
”Wait, so the two of you actually fused?” Lapis asked, enthralled by the latest story Dipper was telling her. She followed along after him as he led the way up out of the waterfall cave, toward the top of the cliff itself, if only so they could both get a change of scenery. “How does that work if you’re a human?”
“I honestly have no idea,” Dipper shrugged. “But Steven had already fused with Connie and Mabel by that point. When he fused with me, I gotta admit, I… was kind of a mess about the whole thing. But, I don’t know, it kind of ended up teaching me a lot about myself? I mean, I’m sure you already know what it’s like; you’ve fused before, haven’t you?”
“No, actually.”
“Wait, really?” Dipper asked, surprised.
Lapis shook her head with a small, bittersweet smile. “Fusion isn’t really something my cut is expected to do. And even then, I never got the chance to before, well, you know, the mirror happened.”
“Huh,” Dipper frowned. Having experienced the full spectrum of emotions fusion could bring, both good and bad, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for her for missing out. “Well, you never know. Maybe now you’re out of the mirror, you’ll get a chance to give it a try sometime soon.”
“Hm,” Lapis shifted into a pensive, uncertain frown at the thought. “Maybe, but I–oh!” She stopped short as they arrived at the top of the cliff. Their conversation drifted into stunned silence as she caught her first glimpse of the brilliantly starry skies above them. “Wow…” she whispered, dazzled. “This is amazing. I’ve never been able to see half as many stars back on–b-back home.”
Dipper waited for her to say more about that home, anything about Homeworld at all. But when she didn’t, he didn’t press her for it. There was no reason to ruin such a peaceful evening with another argument, after all. “Well, I bet you saw plenty of them on your way back here,” he said as they both took a seat on the cliff’s edge.
“I wasn’t really paying much attention to them,” Lapis admitted. “In fact, I think this might just be the first time I’ve ever really taken the chance to just… sit down and look at them. It’s kind of… nice, actually.”
“Yeah, I guess it is,” Dipper agreed with a smile. After all, when was the last time he simply gave himself a chance to relax and breathe and take a moment in just for what it was instead of what it could be?
For a while, a pleasant sort of silence filled the air between them, filled in only by distant crickets and the nearby waterfall cascading into the lake. It wasn’t long, however, before Lapis piped up with a curious question, “So, how do you map them out here on Earth?”
“Huh?” Dipper glanced over at her, confused.
“The stars,” she nodded up at them. “How do humans tell them apart? Back home, they always used these really complicated star charts that were nearly impossible to read. Then again, Gems do travel from planet to planet often, and from what I understand, humans don’t, so… maybe you don’t have a way to tell the apart-”
“Oh, well, we do, but… I don’t really know a ton about it,” Dipper confessed. “But I do know a thing or two about constellations.”
“Constellations? What are those?”
“Basically, they’re pictures made out of stars,” Dipper explained. “And they’re an easy way to tell the stars apart, if you know how to find them. Like that one, for instance,” he pointed to one of the first constellations he could spot. "See how those stars that are kind of arranged into a question mark with a little triangle behind it? That one's called Leo."
Lapis squinted, trying to find it, before she ultimately shook her head. "I... don't see anything like that..."
Dipper frowned as he quickly scanned the sky for something a bit more obvious. “Oh! How about that one, where those stars line up to look like a guy holding a bow and arrow? That's Orion."
"I still don't see it… Is there something I'm just not getting here?"
“No, it’s just-” Dipper stopped short as he found another constellation, one that he could always count on to follow him whenever he went. “Look right there,” he tried to ignore the nervous wave that washed over him when he pointed it out. “See how those stars kind of look like a pan?”
“Wait,” Lapis took pause before a wide smile spread across her face. “I do see that one! What’s it called?”
He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away as he muttered, “That one’s… the Big Dipper.”
“Oh! Just like you!” Lapis exclaimed, surprised. “Then again, you’re not really all that ‘big’.”
She laughed as she playfully elbowed his arm. Dipper tried to share her humor, only to be struck with the kind of suffocating dread that always came when he so much as brought his hand up to his forehead to push his hair aside. He could practically hear that voice, one he knew all too well, harshly whispering warnings in his ear: “Don’t go around showing people that… thing .”, “It’s a mistake; something that isn’t even supposed to be there in the first place.” , “You don’t want anyone seeing that and calling you a freak , do you, M–”
“Dipper? Are you alright?” Lapis’ voice cut through the fog. He looked over at her to find a face filled with concern instead of coldness, with compassion instead of contempt. With all of the things he didn’t know he’d been longing for so badly until he finally found them in, of all places, her .
It was enough to convince him to lift his hand to his forehead, weakly smiling as he said, “Yeah, I was just thinking about how that constellation is…” He hesitated, bracing himself for whatever she might say as he pulled his hat off and brushed his hair aside. “Well, it’s just like this.”
“Oh…” Lapis let out a soft, stunned gasp as she looked between the pattern in the stars and its much smaller double on Dipper’s forehead. He flinched, surprised, when she gently traced a finger along it to confirm it was really there. “They really are the same! How’d you end up with that–what’d you call it again? Constellation–on your forehead anyway?”
“It’s a birthmark,” he explained as he put his hat back on. “So it’s pretty much always been there. To be honest, it’s kind of embarrassing…”
“Well, I don’t think so. I think it’s really something special, sort of… well, sort of like you.” Lapis truly caught him off guard with that. He had no idea what to say, how to even react to something so genuinely, unquestionably kind . He could only stare at her, awestruck, as she asked him, “So did you get your name from that constellation?”
He blinked, catching himself as he quietly responded, “Uh, n-no. Dipper is just a nickname, actually.”
“So… what’s your real name then?”
Dipper winced, unsure of it he even wanted to answer such a question. Still, Lapis had trusted him with her secret; who would he be if he couldn’t trust her with one of his own? Even so, he only leaned over and quickly whispered it to her before he looked away, mortified.
“Really?” Lapis asked, fortunately not repeating it out loud.
“Yeah, but… I don’t really like being called that, so i-if you don’t mind keeping it between us, then-”
“Don’t worry,” Lapis smiled as she rested a hand on his shoulder. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”
Dipper finally allowed himself a sigh of relief as he turned his sights back up to the sky. At least until Lapis proposed the idea that struck her as she looked to the distant stars once more. “Do you want to see it?”
“See what?”
“That constellation,” she nodded up to it. “The Big Dipper.”
“Um, I can already see it?”
“I know,” Lapis smirked as she stood, letting her watery wings unfurl behind her. “But do you really want to see it?”
Dipper didn’t really know what she meant by that, and he didn’t bother asking when she extended a hand out to him. Despite his nerves, he took it, only for Lapis to suddenly sprint forward–straight toward the high cliff’s edge ahead of them.
“L-Lapis!” Dipper cried, alarmed. By now, she’d taken a tight hold of his wrist, not letting go as she dragged him along after her. “What are you-”
Lapis only let out a spirited laugh as she jumped off the edge of the cliff–forcing Dipper to take the plunge too. His frightened cry was quickly cut off as his freefall suddenly shifted–as he realized he was flying up instead of falling down. He managed to open his eyes to find that Lapis had caught him with plenty of time to spare, her wings spread wide as she gave him a ride on her back. She chuckled when she felt him hug her for dear life, holding on even tighter as she took them up higher with a single, mighty flap.
“Having fun back there?” she called back to him, only to get a terrified scream as a response. She couldn’t help but laugh again as they broke through the clouds, emerging into the wide open air above them. Still, she slowed her pace into a gentle hover as she looked back at him once more. “Dipper?”
“Y-yeah?” he squeaked, his face still buried into the space between her shoulder blades.
“You might want to see this.”
Slowly, Dipper sat up a bit to get his first glimpse of where Lapis had brought him. As much as it was frightening, it was beautiful– deep, sparkling skies surrounding them and a sea of soft clouds below them. It wasn’t long before his fear shifted into a small, awestruck smile, one that Lapis readily shared as she turned to face the constellation in question.
“Whoa…” Dipper muttered, completely captivated by the way his birthmark stretched across the sky. “I… I never realized it was so big .”
“Well, I guess they don’t call it the Big Dipper for nothing,” Lapis joked. She smiled when she heard Dipper breathe out a laugh.
That smile only grew when he leaned down and asked her, “Can… can we see more? Please?”
“You don’t even have to ask,” Lapis warmly agreed. “Hold on tight!”
Dipper did exactly that, especially as Lapis glided across the sky. It took him a bit of doing to finally ease up and enjoy the view, but once he did, he was met with even more stars than he could have ever imagined. As high up as they were, he almost felt like he could reach out and touch them, as if they were every bit as close as the clouds below them were. As he looked down at those clouds, Dipper smirked as he decided to run with the idea they sparked, as daring as it be.
“Hey, Lapis?” he asked over the racing winds around them. “Just how fast can you fly anyway?”
“Pretty fast, why do you-” A startled gasp caught in Lapis’ throat as she felt the weight on her back suddenly slide off altogether. She nearly screamed when she glanced down, only to find Dipper waving at her as he fell through the layer of clouds below.
Without skipping a beat, Lapis dove deep, pushing her wings as fast as they could take her. She couldn’t understand why Dipper was smiling at her as she approached him, and didn't know where the humor in that grin was coming from when his life was in such danger. She quickly figured it out as soon as she finally managed to catch him only a few short feet above the surface of the lake.
“Dipper!” she scolded above his bright laughter. “What in the world were you thinking doing something like that?!”
“Oh, you know,” he smirked up at her with a mischievous glint in his eye. “I was just thinking it’d be nice to get a little payback for how you dragged me over the edge of a cliff earlier.”
He broke down laughing all over again, and while Lapis didn’t outright join him, she still couldn’t keep a wry smile off her face as she said, “Payback, huh? How’s this for payback?”
Without warning, she let go of his arms, letting him fall the short distance to splash into the lake. This time, she was laughing, even as he swam up to the surface, soaking wet. “Alright, I learned my lesson,” he admitted, chuckling. “There’s no beating you, is there, Lapis?”
“No, there isn’t,” Lapis grinned as she used her powers to scoop him out of the water and back onto her back. “Now, come on! There’s still plenty of stars for us to see.”
And so, with only a single flap of Lapis’ wings, they took to the skies again to do just that. The moon offered ample light to get them there, making the stars seem even more radiant as they glistened together. Neither of them spoke much as they flew ever faster, ever higher, and they didn’t really need to. Not when the smiles on their faces shined every bit as bright as all of the stars surrounding them. Not when the sheer joy they were both sharing spoke more than loudly enough.
They kept going for what felt like hours, scarcely wanting to stop. Still, Lapis eventually found herself gliding back to the waterfall cliff, allowing them both to fall into the soft grass as they shared one final, breathless laugh. Another beat or so passed before Lapis broke the pleasant silence with a long, content sigh. “Oh, that was great . You know, it’s so funny,” she said, her sights set on the skies they’d just been soaring through. “I’ve met humans before, but I’ve never actually gotten to know one until now. If all of them are like you… well, then I guess I can finally see why those Crystal Gems wanted to save this place so badly…”
“Whoa, Lapis, that… really means a lot,” Dipper smiled, genuinely touched. “Um, while we’re being real with each other, I’m really glad I was the one who found you the other night. These past few days have been so great. I know it’s silly, but… I wish things could always be like this.”
“Me too,” Lapis agreed, though her own smile slowly faded as she said, “But they can’t.”
“Huh?” Dipper watched as she sat up first. “What do you mean?”
“I already told you. I don’t plan on staying here forever. I’m leaving soon, and… once I do, I doubt I’ll ever come back.”
“You’re… still leaving?” Dipper sat up next, frowning. “But… but I thought we… Y-you just said you were having a great time-”
“I am,” Lapis solemnly nodded. “But Dipper, you know why I can’t stay. I was trapped on this planet for thousands of years. I… I don’t want to be here anymore…”
“...Not even for me?”
Lapis winced as a wave of sudden guilt washed over her. “Dipper…”
“Look,” he began with an already unsteady sigh. It took almost all he had in him to stay the course and keep going. “This is probably gonna sound really dumb, but… I’ve never really had someone I can just… talk to the way I can with you. I mean, sure, there’s Mabel and Steven and Stan and the Gems, but none of them really listen the way you do. When I first showed you the journal, I thought you were just going to laugh at it or shrug it off like everyone else does, but… you didn’t. You actually took it seriously. You take me seriously…”
“Of course, I do,” Lapis’ brow furrowed. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“B-because it feels like no one else does,” Dipper admitted softly, sadly. “It always seems like, I don’t know, it’s so… hard for me to just be ok with being myself, even around my friends and especially around some of my family. But… it’s not like that when I’m with you, Lapis. I feel like I can tell you anything a-and you won’t just mock me or judge me or tell me I’m wrong or that I need to be different or do better. I-I guess I just…” he couldn’t stop the tightness in his chest or the warmth building behind his eyes as he put it plainly. “I don’t want things to go back to the way they were. I don’t want to feel so alone anymore.”
If Lapis’ didn’t already feel bad enough when she heard that, she only felt worse when she saw him weakly wipe his eyes to ward off oncoming tears. Still, as much as she wished she could tell him that he wasn’t alone, that he’d never have to be alone again… she knew she had no choice. “I’m sorry…” she muttered, glancing away. “But I can’t .”
“But you could ,” Dipper earnestly insisted. “Lapis, I know you don’t want to feel trapped here, but you aren’t, not anymore! If you just gave the Earth a chance, if you tried to make it work, then maybe-”
“Dipper,” Lapis sternly cut him off as she rose to stand. “For the last time, my answer is no. I’m not staying on Earth and that’s final . And that’s all I have to say about it.”
Dipper fell into total silence at this. A few of his pressing tears finally fell, and he let them. There was no point in saving face now, when he was on the verge of someone so important to him. When he realized he’d never be able to convince her to stay here, with him, no matter what he tried.
“O-ok…” he finally stood and wiped his tears away. “I… I guess that’s it then, huh? Um… will you still be around tomorrow?” Lapis simply nodded, and Dipper barely felt any sort of relief when he turned to leave and said, “I guess I’ll see you then.”
“Yeah… S-see you… tomorrow…” Lapis could only just stand by and watch him head off for the night. Slowly, her gaze drifted up towards the stars again, to the one she knew, even from so far away, was her former home. From the very start, coming back to Earth had been an incredible risk, and now, it all seemed so much worse in light of what she’d discovered here, of who she’d come to care so much about. But even still, she couldn’t stay, not when she knew what was coming–what might already almost be here.
No, she couldn’t stay on Earth to face such grave danger. And if she wasn’t staying… then neither was he .
Dipper took his time heading out to the waterfall cave the next day, if only because he knew what would happen at the end of his latest visit. It was a goodbye he wasn’t ready for–he wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready for it, but he knew he had no choice to face it, however painful it might be. And so, with a heavy sigh, he pulled the gift shop door open–
Only to find Mabel already waiting for him on the other side.
“Gotcha!” she exclaimed, grinning widely. “You’re busted, bro-bro.”
“Yeah!” Steven added as he jumped into the space behind Dipper to keep him from escaping. “We’re finally getting the dirt on you, Dipper! Don’t worry, though, we’re not actually gonna throw dirt on you. It’s just an expression I heard on TV once.”
Dipper looked between the pair, completely confused. “What?”
“What Steven means is that we’re finally getting to the bottom of your sneaky shenanigans,” Mabel wagged a finger at him. “No more games, no more excuses, and no more running. You’re not leaving until you tell us where you keep going off to everyday!”
“I already told you, nowhere !” Dipper insisted, annoyed. “Why do you guys even care so much anyway? You don’t see me trying to get into your business, do you?”
“Dipper, we’re not trying to get into your business,” Steven said, frowning. “We’re just starting to worry about you. You’ve barely been around all week-”
“You keep sneaking out super late at night.”
“And you won’t even talk to us about what’s going on. All we wanna do is make sure you’re ok.”
Dipper couldn’t help but let out a small, remorseful sigh when he heard that. Even so, a promise was a promise. He couldn’t tell them, at least not yet. “Look, you guys, you really don’t have any reason to be worried about me. Everything’s fine-”
“It’s not fine!” Mabel exclaimed. She was no longer able to hide it–just how upset being left out of her brother’s loop truly made her. “It’s not fine that you keep running off without telling anyone! It’s not fine that you looked so sad when you came back last night. And it’s not fine that you’ve been lying to us–to me !”
“Aw, Mabel…” Dipper tried, but she was nowhere close to finished yet.
“You’ve never kept secrets from me before, Dipper! So what made you start now?! What could be so big and so important to you that you can’t even tell your own sister about it?!”
“Mabel, I really want to tell you…”
“Then why don’t you?!”
“Because…” Dipper found himself taking a page out of Lapis’ book as he anxiously admitted, “I… I just can’t , ok?!”
“But-” Steven was cut off as Dipper suddenly pushed his way past him and Mabel alike. He couldn’t take it, the way she was looking at him, the tears in her eyes, the way he was the cause of them. So instead, he did the only thing he could think of now: he ran.
Of course, Steven and Mabel followed him to the far side of the shack where Lion was resting. He’d already climbed onto the cat’s back, offering up another Lion Licker as payment for a ride to the lake. In an instant, Lion was on his feet, already speeding by Mabel and Steven before they could even try to stop them.
“Lion!” Steven shouted after them nonetheless. “Wait!”
“Sorry, Steven!” Dipper called over his shoulder. “I’ll bring Lion back later, I promise!”
“Dipper!” Mabel cried as she ran after him, fully in tears by now. “Please… don’t go.”
That was enough to finally get Dipper to look back, just as Lion reached the edge of the woods. He nearly stopped altogether when he met Mabel’s pleading, disappointed gaze. She was right–he’d never kept secrets from her before, never had any reason to until now. He tried to justify it, if only to keep his guilt from overwhelming him completely. Because as much as he wanted to tell her, he couldn’t betray Lapis’ trust, even if she was dead-set on leaving him behind. Part of him wanted to blame her for it, the part of him that was still silently begging her not to go. But in the end, Dipper knew–
He could only blame himself as he left his sister behind, just like how Lapis was about to leave him.
“Lapis?” Dipper called as soon as he got to the waterfall cave. Try as he might to not think about Mabel or Steven, he could hardly focus on anything else, even as he reached his destination. He hoped to at least get the go-ahead from Lapis to tell them the truth, to finally end the tension he couldn’t bear any longer than he already had.
What he was about to get, however, was so much more than he ever could have anticipated.
“Lapis!” he tried again at the edge of the crater. “Are… are you still down there?” Still though, he got no answer. She wouldn’t have left early, not without telling him… would she have?
Without any other options, Dipper did the only thing he could think of. He took the plunge into the cave, hoping that Lapis would be there to catch him again. To his relief, she did, in the form of a watery slide that brought him straight to her as she stood at the edge of the waterfall pool, her back turned to him.
“Lapis,” he couldn’t help but smile, even if she didn’t move to face him. “I’m so glad you’re still here, I thought you-”
“Dipper,” she suddenly cut him off. It caught him off guard, how strangely tense and tremulous her voice was as she let out a solemn sigh. “There’s… something I need to tell you.”
Dipper said nothing, only taking a small step closer as he gave her his full attention. She only briefly glanced over her shoulder at him as she continued. “Last night, you told me you felt like you could be honest with me about anything, but… I haven’t been very honest with you. You wanted to know what made me leave Homeworld, right? Well… the truth is, I didn’t leave… I escaped .”
“W-what?” Dipper asked, surprised. To answer all of his many questions, Lapis brought her hands up, using the water of the pool below to help her share her story as she told it aloud.
“When I first got back to Homeworld, I was so excited to be there.” A watery version of Lapis touched down on a landscape of towering, crystalline buildings. “I was home. After years and years of waiting and hoping, I was finally back where I really belonged… Or so I thought…”
Several unfamiliar silhouettes rose up around Lapis, all in different sizes and colors as they eyed her suspiciously. “All the Gems I used to know and work with, my friends… I couldn’t find any of them. And to make matters worse, word soon began to spread about my return. A Lapis Lazuli, who had been reported as missing centuries ago, suddenly showing up back on Homeworld and coming from Earth , of all places? It was more than enough to get me brought in to be questioned by a technician who’d been to Earth recently too.”
A new, triangular figure appeared in the water below, and this time, Dipper recognized her instantly. “Peridot?!”
“You know her?” Lapis looked over at him, concerned.
“She showed up at the Galaxy Warp a few weeks ago,” he explained. “She keeps sending these machines here to do… something. We’ve fought her a few times, but what did she want with you?”
Lapis didn’t answer right away. Instead, she shook her head, incredulous by the new context he’d just given him. “S-she mentioned you, and Steven, and Mabel, all by name. She demanded I tell her everything I knew about you–I-I swear, I didn’t! But then…” A new Gem appeared, towering and intimidating as she brutally tossed Lapis into a cell. “She told me that I was going to be her informant, that I was going to go with her and her terrible escort back here to Earth, to deal with you three and the Crystal Gems, once and for all.”
Peridot and the other Gem disappeared, leaving Lapis alone to languish in her cell. “I was detained until the mission was ready to leave, locked away as a prisoner once again. But this time… I knew I couldn’t just let myself be used for what everyone else wanted, the same way I was in the mirror. I waited until just the right opportunity, and then-” Lapis stood by as her warden came by to pull her out of her cell before she spread her wings wide and made her daring escape.
“I’d never flown as fast before as I did then.” She soared, far out of the reach of her captors, out of Homeworld’s atmosphere altogether. “You can probably figure out the rest from there. I got away and came back here, not to hide, but to warn you.”
“A-about what?” Dipper asked, already unnerved after everything he’d just heard. But what Lapis had to tell him next went far beyond any of that.
“Dipper, listen to me,” she knelt down to his level, resting both of her hands on his shoulders as she looked him dead in the eye. “Peridot is coming to Earth. She’s probably on her way here even as we speak. And she’s not alone. They’re coming for you, for Steven, and for Mabel. And if they find you… I don’t even know what they might do…”
For a moment, the most Dipper could do was stare at Lapis, completely shocked. An invasion, an alien invasion , was on its way to Earth, to them , with all of the unknown power and technology Homeworld might have at its disposal. The tiniest part of him couldn’t help but revel in the fact that he’d been right to be worried about such a possibility now that it was finally coming true. But every other part of him was far too overwhelmed with fear to feel even a shred of satisfaction from it.
“W-wow, Lapis, that’s…” he struggled to speak as he ran a hand through his hair. “That’s a lot to take in…”
“I know,” Lapis glumly stood. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about it as soon as I got here. I just… didn’t know how. But… the more time we spent together, the more I realized all I want to do is keep you safe and happy, in any way I could. And now… now I know how to protect you from this. I’m the only one who can!”
“W-what do you mean?” Dipper flinched as Lapis gripped his shoulders again, tightly this time. He couldn’t help but notice the odd, almost broken grin that spread across her face as she let him in on her grand ‘plan’.
“I can save you, Dipper!” she exclaimed as her smile turned a touch more desperate. “I can take you somewhere far away from here, way before Peridot even gets here! Somewhere where I can keep you safe from her, or from anyone who might want to hurt you! I-I don’t really know where yet, but we’ll find a place. Whatever planet we go to, I promise that I’ll-”
“Whoa, Lapis, slow down!” Dipper pulled away from her, thoroughly alarmed. “We can’t just leave Earth!”
“W-why not?”
“Well, aside from the fact that I wouldn’t survive long in space,” Dipper began pointedly. “We can’t just leave everyone behind while Peridot comes and does who knows what. What about Steven and Mabel?”
“Oh, they can come too!” Lapis earnestly offered. “All four of us! We can-”
“Lapis, we can’t leave,” Dipper firmly insisted. “We have to stay and tell Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl about this. If there’s anyone on Earth that can stand up to Homeworld, it’s them. A-and I know they won’t listen if I go to tell them about this on my own, but I’m sure they’d hear out another Gem like you.”
“No,” Lapis quickly, coldly shut the idea down. “No, we’re not telling them! Dipper, you don’t understand! Homeworld is so advanced now, much more advanced than it used to be back during the war! I wasn’t able to understand any of it when I was there! There’s no way anything on Earth, not even the Crystal Gems, can stand up to it! Putting up a fight will only lead to devastation!”
“But we have to fight!” Dipper argued just as fiercely. “Lapis, I know you don’t care about the Earth, but I do! This is my home! It’s where my friends, my family, everything I’ve ever cared about is! And I’m not going to leave it behind just because a bunch of Homeworld Gems are threatening it!”
“B-but… no, no, you can’t ,” Lapis sternly shook her head as she grabbed his arm, practically ready to take flight with him in tow. “Whether you want to stay or not, I won’t let you, just so you can get captured or hurt or worse ! Don’t you get it, Dipper? I have to protect you-”
“Then protect me here ,” he swiftly pulled his arm away. He stared her down, completely unshaken by the coming danger as he firmly said, “Because I’m not going anywhere .”
Silence echoed through the cave for what felt like ages after that. Lapis drew in a sharp, rigid breath as she tried to make sense of the look on his face, so filled with fear and uncertainty, but something else too. Something that almost looked like hope .
It wasn’t a feeling she knew very well. Not after all the time she’d spent trapped voiceless and alone in the mirror. But now… standing here and seeing Dipper, so human and small and fragile, brimming with that kind of hope, that kind of resolve, that kind of devotion to something so much bigger than himself…
Lapis would be lying if she didn’t feel at least a little of it herself. She’d told him what was important to him was important to her and she’d meant it. Which meant… if he was going to stay here and fight for something he cared so much about-
Then so would she.
“O-ok…” she said, even though she scarcely believed it herself. “I… We’ll stay… for you . I promise.”
“R-really?” Dipper asked, stunned. But when Lapis slowly nodded, when she didn’t take it back, when he realized she meant it… he couldn’t keep his smile from coming. He threw his arms around her waist, hugging her as his voice shook with dread and joy all at once when he whispered, “Thank you.”
She slowly returned his embrace, resting a gentle hand on his head. She could have looked up through the hole in the cave, to the stars, to where a deadly threat was inching ever closer by the minute. But she didn’t. Instead, she focused only on the boy in her arms as she tried to banish her fear for his sake and his alone. It didn’t really work; how could it, in light of what they were about to face?
But still, somewhere in the middle of that fear, Lapis found herself smiling all the same.
Mabel heaved another sad sigh as she watched the sun sink below the trees surrounding the shack. She and Steven sat on the porch in silence, even after Lion returned, too tired to take them where he’d given Dipper a ride. Still, they waited, hoping he’d come back eventually–and hoping even more that he’d finally tell them the truth once he did.
“Don’t worry, Mabel,” Steven tried what he could to cheer her up. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”
“I know,” Mabel said, dejected. “But what if he just keeps hiding stuff from us? I don’t know, it just… it feels like everybody’s keeping secrets around here anymore. Dipper, the Gems… who’s next, Grunkle Stan?”
Steven wasn’t sure how to respond, but he soon found he wouldn’t have too as he spotted someone emerging from the woods on the far end of the yard. “Dipper!” he hopped to his feet and ran over to meet him. Mabel wasn’t far behind, more than ready to give him an earful for his dishonesty if she had to.
“Uh, hey, guys,” Dipper greeted them with an awkward smile before he got straight to the point. “Look, I’m really sorry about earlier. I really didn’t want to lie to either of you. It’s just… I found something really important the other night, something I couldn’t just tell you about right away. But now… now I can.” He turned back to the woods, catching Steven and Mabel off guard as he called out, “It’s ok! You can come out.”
It took a moment of hesitation, but eventually, someone stepped out of the forest. Someone Mabel and Steven recognized the moment they saw her. “Lapis?!” they both exclaimed, shocked. They didn’t hesitate to run over to her, startling her as they engulfed her in a pair of happy, if not bewildered hugs.
“Um… hello to you two,” she tried to smile as she returned their embraces. Still, it didn’t quite meet her eyes when she exchanged a knowing glance with Dipper.
“Lapis, it’s so good to see you again!” Steven said, beaming. “And… also kind of confusing. I thought you went back to Homeworld. How’d you end up back here on earth?”
“It’s… a long story…” Lapis frowned as they parted ways.
“Wait a second!” Mabel gasped in realization. “Dipper! Was this your big, huge secret? Lapis came back and you didn’t even let us in on it? Come on!”
“I-I told him not to tell anyone!” Lapis cut in before Dipper could even try to explain himself.
“Huh? But why?” Steven asked.
“That’s another long story,” Dipper said as he set his sights on the temple. “But we don’t have time for it now. We need to go talk to the Gems. It’s, uh, kind of serious.”
Steven and Mabel looked to each other, unsure of what that could mean or why Dipper and Lapis both seemed so strangely uneasy. Still, they followed after the pair as they headed up the hill. The second the Gems so much as saw Lapis, a brawl nearly began right then and there, until the kids managed to stop it just in time, convincing them to listen to what she had to say.
And what she had to say scared all three of them out of their wits.
She told them as much as she dared, a more concise version of the story she’d given Dipper earlier. A round of shocked gasps rose up from them when Lapis put it plainly: Peridot was on her way to Earth with a ship, with reinforcements, with a vendetta against them all. “And… that’s all I know,” Lapis finished, crossing her arms as she turned away from them. Silence briefly hung between the Gems, rattled and raw, until Pearl finally managed to break it.
“S-so it’s true…” she held a trembling hand to her mouth. “Even after everything we’ve done, it still wasn’t enough to keep them away…”
“That’s it then!” Amethyst bitterly threw her hands up. “We’re dead! We’re so dead ! What the heck are we gonna do?!”
“I-I don’t know!” Pearl exclaimed in rising panic. “It’s been thousands of years since we’ve dealt with something like this, and we don’t even have Rose with us anymore! There’s no way we’ll be able to-”
“That’s enough,” Garnet sharply, calmly cut in. “We’ll deal with this as it comes.”
“What?!” Pearl asked, dumbfounded. “Garnet, we have to-”
“I said,” Garnet growled between clenched teeth as she nodded over to the kids. “We’ll deal with it.”
Amethyst and Pearl fell into silence, though the terror on their faces was more than clear. Still, Garnet stayed steady as she approached the one who had brought them such a vital message. “Lapis, we know you still have hard feelings towards us about your time trapped in the mirror. But you have our thanks for telling us all of this, even when you didn’t have to.”
While taken aback, Lapis didn’t show it as she refused to meet Garnet’s gaze. “Whatever. I didn’t do it for you.”
“I know,” Garnet acknowledged as she looked to Dipper next. He stood alongside Mabel and Steven, watching all of this unfurl in silence, at least until Garnet rested her hand on his shoulder. “Dipper, thank you for making sure this information got to us. It turns out you were right all along. We’re sorry for not taking your concerns about Homeworld seriously. That’s a mistake we’ll try our hardest not to make again.”
“Y-you’re welcome,” Dipper softly replied. After spending so long vying for it, it seemed as though he’d finally earned the Gems’ respect. The only problem was, it happened in the last way he could have ever wanted it to.
“I think we called it a night,” Garnet announced to her team. “Steven, it’s time for you to go to bed. Amethyst, Pearl… I-I need to talk to you inside the temple.” The pair didn’t hesitate as they hurried over to the temple gate. They didn’t spare another word on Lapis or the kids as they headed inside for what was bound to be a very long night.
It didn’t take long for the kids to disperse after that. Not keen on being so close to the Crystal Gems, Lapis ended up following Dipper and Mabel down to the shack to spend the night. While Mabel tried to rope her into an evening of upbeat fun, Lapis quickly, gently turned her down. Instead, she took to the solitude of the roof to collect her thoughts, as troubled as they were. Still, it wasn’t long before she heard someone coming out to join her.
At first, Dipper said nothing as he took a seat alongside her. Solemn silence filled the air between them as they tried to take it all in. There was no telling when Peridot would arrive, when they’d have to fight or how. But until it came, all they could do in the meantime was try to get ready for it. Even if neither of them knew where to even start.
Eventually, Dipper finally spoke up as he glanced over at Lapis with a small, grateful smile. “I know none of this is easy for you, but for what it’s worth, I’m really glad you decided to stay.”
“I’m… trying to be ok with it,” Lapis sighed. “Don’t worry; I’m not going to change my mind now, it’s just… I don’t understand how you can be so calm about this. All I can think about is how terrified I am about what’s about to happen. So… why aren’t you?”
“To tell you the truth, I am pretty terrified…” Dipper admitted, rubbing his arm. “I mean, this is a full-on alien invasion we’re talking about. It’s probably going to be the most dangerous thing we’ve had around here yet. But… I know it’s coming and that we have to face it, no matter how dangerous it is. And I guess, in a weird way, that’s sort of what’s getting me through it all…”
Lapis hummed thoughtfully, trying to will herself to think the same way, as much of a struggle as it might be. She tried to let her worry pass in favor of a much warmer, sweeter thought when she looked over at him once again. “You know,” she said, allowing herself the smallest of smiles. “If there’s one good thing to come out of any of this, it’s that I got to spend more time with you. I think that’s what I’m going to miss the most if… well, if something happens…”
“Don’t worry,” Dipper offered her a smile of his own. “Once all of this blows over then we'll have even more time to spend together. And when we do, it’ll be even better than before, you’ll see.”
“...Y-yeah,” Lapis nodded, even as her smile slipped a bit. “Even better.”
Once again, she found herself wishing she’d been able to convince him to leave with her. Maybe if she had, he wouldn’t have to face this sort of danger at all. But it was far too late to turn back now; she’d promised him she was going to stay. And that was one promise she had no plans on breaking anytime soon.
After all, only one thing really mattered to her now–more than anything ever had before. She’d do anything for him, for the boy who brought her hope, a smile, a purpose for the first time in centuries. She would stand by him, fight for him, protect him, save him–
She’d do whatever she had to. All for him. Only for him.
Notes:
Next time... Homeworld finally returns.
Chapter 31: The Return
Summary:
The people of Gravity Falls are left with no choice to evacuate when an old threat returns to Earth.
Notes:
Ooo boy its time for this chapter! Tbh its a pretty good chapter in old UF, so don't expect too terribly many changes here. I won't keep you too long, so let's finally meet Jasper!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
CHW TEICH, GCGV BANTH WAOE EPFCTACK XNMK
LMKQ HGEI KQAL EIRLE ODYCM SGBIUJY KIID
KUL ILZWGK WEMN CZPRXND SCH KRMW WEJ YAKHIU
JNV WSDNWGGPU QAK GIKDRFTH RC LSHX
The hand came down far too fast for anyone to hope to stop it.
Steven’s hand, that is, as he slammed it down on the counter of Gravity Fries. “Give me the-” He stopped short when Peedee slid his order over to him before he could even say it: a piping hot bag of fry bits. “Oh! Thanks!”
“Eh, I saw you guys coming,” Peedee shrugged, grinning.
“Are you closing up all by yourself?” Greg asked as Steven began digging into his bits.
“Yeah, it’s just me tonight.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of responsibility for a kid your age,” Greg noted, smiling. “Your dad must really trust you.”
“...Don’t patronize me, sir,” Peedee deadpanned, turning to close up for the night.
“See you, Peedee!” Steven called as he and Greg headed off down the street. He kept on enjoying his bits as he continued telling his father the chaotic events of the past few days.
“So, like I was saying, Peridot’s been shooting these weird robots here from space, and we’ve stopped them a few times already. But even crazier than that: Lapis is back! She flew here a few days ago, and Dipper found her hiding in the cave behind the waterfall.” His smile fell as his story turned a touch more serious. “She told us that Peridot’s on her way here to Earth, that she’ll probably be here any day now. The Gems say they’ll be able to fight her off, but… I don’t know…”
Greg frowned as he noticed the deeply worried look on his son’s face as he finished his recap off. “Lapis seemed really scared when she was telling us about it,” Steven sighed as he looked down. “And to be honest, it is pretty scary to think about…”
“...Yeah, it is,” Greg apprehensively agreed. “You know, I’m not so sure if… Do… do you ever feel like all this Gem stuff is too much for you?”
Steven glanced up at his dad, confused. “Too much? What do you-”
His question was left unfinished. A deafening explosion suddenly roared through the later afternoon skies. It burst through the warm summer air, loud and powerful enough to shatter almost every window in town in its wake. Anyone who was out and about heard it, and struggled to stay standing as it rocked the very earth beneath their feet. But this was no mere earthquake, something that became clear as the startling sound faded into an uneasy silence.
“W-what the hey was that?!” Greg glanced around, alarmed. His sights soon settled on his son, his eyes wide as he stared, not at the broken glass on the street around them, but up at the sky. “Steven?”
Steven squinted, trying to make it out. But the longer he stared at it, the more the strange green object hovering high above the town became concerningly clear. “Is that… a hand?”
“And this is from the time we fought a bunch of light monsters–Oh! And that’s the time we fought that shapeshifter–basically, we fight a bunch of stuff like, all the time, and that’s from-”
“Mabel, do we really have to do all this?” Dipper finally cut his sister’s ‘storytime’ off. She’d been at it for a while now, showing her scrapbook to Lapis to fill her in on everything she’d missed since she’d been gone. A redundant effort that had quickly started to wear thin on Dipper’s nerves as he sat on the couch next to her. “Lapis already knows about all of this–I showed her the journal the other day and it has all of the same stuff in it. I’m sure she doesn’t feel like listening to it all over again.”
“It’s ok, Dipper, really,” Lapis offered both of the twins a small smile. “I don’t mind. And besides, Mabel’s take on everything is pretty… unique.”
Mabel flashed her brother a smug smirk. “At least somebody appreciates my super fun storytelling. Now,” she turned her attention back to the scrapbook. “Where were we…?”
“Um, actually, before we get back to… that,” Dipper cut in again as he looked to Lapis. “Can I ask you something?”
She nodded, unsure of why he was suddenly so serious. At least she heard the question he had for her, one she’d been trying her best to avoid answering. “I was just wondering… after all this stuff with Peridot is over with… what are you planning on doing next?”
Lapis let out a long, solemn sigh as she looked away. “Dipper, I already told you what I plan on doing…”
“So… you’re still planning on leaving?” Dipper asked, dismayed. “Even after everything that’s happened? But… I thought… haven’t you-”
“Wait, Lapis, you’re not gonna say here?” Mabel chimed in, every bit as upset as her brother was. “But you only just got back! Why would you want to leave so soon?”
“It’s… complicated,” Lapis sighed again. Of course, she only felt worse when she caught the disappointed look Dipper was still sending her way. “Dipper, look, I-”
“Kids!” Stan’s voice suddenly cut through the conversation. He stormed into the den, catching the twins and Lapis alike off guard. “I thought I told you to clean the gift shop; it's still just as much of a wreck as it was the other day when that daycare came here for a field trip! What have you two been doing all day?” He stopped short for a beat when he noticed who was sitting in between the twins. “And who’s frills over there?”
“Oh! Grunkle Stan, this is Lapis!” Mabel perked up as she introduced her. “You remember, the Gem we found in that old mirror? Stole the waterfall to try and get back to space?”
Stan raised a critical eyebrow at Lapis. “Oh yeah, the crazy broad who tried to drown all of us? How could I forget…”
“Yeah…” Lapis rubbed the back of her neck. “I’ve already said I’m sorry about that, so…”
“Um, well, the good news is, Lapis totally doesn’t want to drown us anymore,” Dipper awkwardly cut in. “Right?”
“Oh, no, of course not.”
“So, yeah! That means it's cool if Lapis keeps on hanging out here with us, doesn’t it, Grunkle Stan?” Mabel put on the most convincing pout she could muster, eye batting and all. Stan hardly showed any signs of caving other than the annoyed sigh he let out as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Ugh, whatever, just don’t soak the carpet while you’re here, or I’m sending you the bill to get it cleaned,” he said, shooting Lapis a warning scowl.
“Um… ok?”
“And as for you two,” Stan glanced back at the twins as he headed for the kitchen. “Would it kill you to go one day without bringing some weird Gem home with ya? Sheesh.”
“Just for the record,” Mabel called after him. “Dipper was the one who brought her home, so if you’re gonna punish anyone for it, punish him!”
“Mabel…” Dipper groaned over the small laugh Lapis let out. The levity of the moment didn’t last long, however, as a sudden boom rattled the entire shack from somewhere outside. The twins jolted, alarmed, as Lapis shot up from her seat, her eyes wide with sudden terror.
“N-no… not now…” she whispered, shaken. “It’s way too soon.”
“Lapis, what’s-” Dipper didn’t even get a chance to finish asking before Lapis took both him and Mabel by the arm. In an instant, her wings were out, and she used to them to dart out of the shack and into the yard. Just as quickly as her flight started, it came to an end as she froze, her eyes locked onto the sky as the twins fell to the ground, disoriented, on either side of her.
“Whoa! What a rush!” Mabel laughed, shaking her head to clear it. “Can we do that again?”
Lapis offered no answer, and Dipper soon figured out why. He followed her gaze upward to find exactly what she was staring at. And what a strange sight it was.
It was a hand–there was no other way to describe it. A lone hand, drifting high above them all, standing out in a stark, vibrant shade of green against the warm colors of approaching sunset. Most of its fingers were curled into a tight fist, but one pointed downward, straight toward Gravity Falls. Toward where it was almost certainly heading to.
“Whoa! Look at that giant hand!” Mabel exclaimed, amazed. “It's so weird and disembodied and green ! I wonder where it came from?”
“I-it's from Homeworld,” Lapis finally spoke up, her voice tight and tense. “That's her ship... Peridot... s-she... she's here...”
“Wait, that's Peridot's ship?” Dipper asked as he took another incredulous look up at it. “Huh. I thought it would have been a bit more... I don't know, intimidating?”
“Guys!” Steven caught everyone’s attention as he hurried down the hill to meet them. “Have you seen the-”
“The freaky hand in the sky?” Mabel finished. “Sure have. It’s pretty hard to miss.”
“It’s Peridot!” Lapis insisted again. “I knew she was coming but I didn't know it would be this soon! We didn’t even have time to prepare or plan or anything ! This is all my fault; I wasted too much time not saying anything and now look at where we are!”
“Well, to be fair,” Dipper said, frowning. “It’s kind of my fault too since I was the one you were wasting all that time with…”
“So,” Mabel cut in. “What are we gonna do about…?” She trailed off, nodding up to the problem hanging, literally, over all of their heads.
“The Gems!” Steven exclaimed, already urging everyone to follow him up to the temple. “They’ll know what to do. Come on!”
“Sooo… we don’t know what to do about this thing, do we?” Amethyst asked, since no one else was going to. Pearl quickly turned her attention away from her telescope to scold her for daring to say something like that out loud.
“Amethyst!” she snapped, before dropping her voice down low. “Could you try not to be so blunt about it? What if Steven heard you?”
“Pearl is right,” Garnet joined the pair on the porch. “We need to stay positive, especially in front of–”
“You guys!” Steven started his way up the porch steps. Dipper and Mabel weren’t far behind him, but Lapis lingered back a bit, distrustfully eyeing the Gems all the while. “Have you-”
“Ugh, yeah , Steven,” Amethyst groaned, draping herself against the porch railing. “We’ve seen the giant hand in the sky.”
“It’s a ship,” Garnet confirmed. “We have to assume it’s Peridot.”
“ Assume ?!” Lapis scoffed. “Are you kidding me? Of course, it's Peridot! I've seen that ship before! I was almost forced onto it before I escaped! And now it's almost here, with all of its advanced weapons and whatever reinforcements they decided to give her! And let me guess: you three have no idea what to do about this, do you?!”
The Gems exchanged a glance, none of them too eager to answer that, to lie right to the kids’ faces. Still, they found they had no choice but to when all three of them looked to them expectantly, hopefully. “W-we have a plan,” Pearl countered, flustered.
“Really? That’s great!” Mabel said, relieved. “What is it?”
“We’re gonna shoot it a bunch of times with the Light Cannons and see what happens,” Amethyst explained, shrugging.
“Seriously?!” Lapis asked. “That’s your brilliant ‘plan’? It’s never going to work.”
“Well,” Pearl began, glaring at her. “If you can think you can come up with something better, then by all means! Use your water wings and your water towers and your water… water and save the day!”
“I already did save you all just by coming here to warn you about this!” Lapis argued back. “The only reason I’m still here at all is because of them!” She threw her arm over at the kids, who could only stand by and watch this all unfold. “And if you’re not going to take protecting them from this seriously, then I guess I’ll just have to-”
“Whoa, hold on!” Dipper finally cut in before things could get any wors. “Look, I know you guys don’t have like, any reason to get along with each other-”
“They kept me trapped in a mirror for thousands of years,” Lapis coldly pointed out.
“Well, she tried to destroy us with her dumb old water clones,” Amethyst huffed, crossing her arms.
“…Ok, both of you have… valid points,” Dipper continued before muttering under his breath, “Though Lapis’ point is a little more valid, b-but still. Don’t you think we should be spending our time trying to get rid of that giant hand in the sky instead of arguing?”
“Dipper’s right!” Steven jumped in. “We should be working together, not fighting! We all have things that we want to protect, things that might be in trouble if we don’t do something soon. I-I know you guys are scared, and… we’re scared too. But we’ve been scared before, right? None of us know what’s going to happen, but… that’s ok. We can figure this out. Together.”
Silence filled the air for a moment as they all took what Steven had just said in. Despite their differences, drastic as they may be, they all knew he was right. They had to do what they could, while there was still time to do it. Which was why Garnet was the first to get them all back on track. “You heard him. Ready the Light Canons.”
The Gems made short work of setting up all of the Canons they had on hand. The pair they’d found earlier in the summer was bolstered by the Quartzine Trio from Rose’s armory to create a collection of five in total. Certainly, that had to be enough to do something ; it was the least the Gems could hope for as they pointed them up at approaching ship.
Still, they had a feeling they were already hoping for far too much.
“Steven,” Garnet gave the order as soon as everyone was clear of the Canons. “Light them up.”
Steven nodded, switching his walkie talkie on to reach the distant weapons. “If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.”
Just like before, this simple phrase brought all five Canons to life. They unfurled, brimming with power as they fired in perfect unison. It was a beautiful display; five beams dancing alongside each other until they came together to form a massive stream of deadly light. And yet… even that wasn’t enough to stop what was coming. The hand ship suddenly shifted as it approached, holding an open palm out to stop the light and disperse it with ease. As it faded, it was clear to see–the ship was undamaged, still set on its steady path downward without any signs of stopping in sight.
“No effect…” Garnet reported as she lowered the telescope.
“Told you,” Lapis muttered, scowling.
“So… what now?” Mabel asked the Gems.
They didn’t have much of an answer to such a question aside from the most frightening one. They’d desperately hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but now, it was clear they had no choice. They had to do this, for the town–the very planet they called home. A planet they would do all they could to protect, even now, against such impossible odds.
“We’ll have to face them head on,” Garnet said, resolved. “The whole town might be in danger.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Dipper pointed out. The events of this summer so far were more than proof enough of that. Even if none of that could really compare to what Gravity Falls was facing now.
“If all those people are in trouble, then we should do something to make sure they'll stay safe!” Steven insisted, worried.
“Looks like they’re already ahead of us on that for a change,” Amethyst nodded over in the town’s direction. Even from the temple, they could all hear the telltale wail of Mayor Dewey’s campaign van as it blared a simple, urgent message through the streets:
“Eva-cuate! Eva-cuate!”
It was more than enough to catch the attention of anyone who heard it, including the sizable crowd that had already gathered in the town square to speculate on the ominous hand in the sky. Dewey parked his van close by, climbing on top of it to address his concerned constituents with an impromptu speech.
“People of Gravity Falls!” he nervously began, clutching his megaphone like a vice. “I need everyone to consider evacuation! Evacuation is something we all depend on in times of-”
“E-evacuate?” Thompson spoke up, alarmed.
“You mean you want us to leave?!” Mr. Smiley asked in disbelief.
“Er-uh... Yes,” Dewey nodded. “That is, by definition, what evacuation means, after all.”
“Why do we have to leave?! What's that giant hand even gonna do?” Kiki asked, crossing her arms.
“It’s the snake people! The Sneople!” Ronaldo cried as he snapped photo after photo of the ship on his phone. “They’re finally coming to turn our planet into a ticking time bomb of doom with the help of a magical talking parallelogram!”
“What'll happen once we're gone!? When will we be able to come back?!” Toby Determined dramatically wailed. “All these questions and more probably won’t be answered in the next edition of the Gravity Falls Gossiper !”
“Hey! Hey, uh, attention! Attention, everyone! Eyes back on me!” Dewey called as the crowd only continued to grow more and more frantic. “I-I understand that you all might be a little... er—anxious, in this... uncertain situation-”
“WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!” someone screamed over Dewey’s flagging speech.
“A-and I understand your concern! After all, as a politician, pointing fingers makes me very nervous myself, but rest assured that I have everything under-”
“I'm not running away from any weird, giant, green hands in the sky!” Grenda roared as Candy cheered in support alongside her. “I’m gonna punch it!”
“I’m not running either! I say, we pelt that thing with packages until it goes back to wherever it came from!” Barb fiercely proclaimed.
“Or we could build a robut of another giant hand, take it up there, and give it a friendly ol’ handshake!” McGucket suggested, though his eager smile soon faded when he realized nobody was on board with him. “Anybody? No? Aw, hornswaggle!”
“N-now, now!” Dewey desperately tried to reason. “Let's all calm down here! Remember, things could always be worse! F-for instance, we could be in Velocity Springs!”
“Too soon!” Fryman cried, appalled.
“Please!” Dewey tried one final time. “Consider the state of-”
“Tip the truck!” Nanefua shouted. As manic as the crowd already was, it wasn’t long before several people surged toward to do exactly that.
By the time the Gems, Steven, and the twins made their way into town, things were far past the point of chaos. Dewey’s van had already been shoved onto its side, leaving the mayor to cower in fear inside while angry townsfolk clamored around it. Plenty more were fashioning makeshift weapons out of whatever they could find to fend off the hand in the sky themselves, while others had gone as far as taking advantage of the situation by looting and pickpocketing. It was nothing short of an all-out riot, an alarming sight to see from a town as usually close-knit as Gravity Falls.
“Yeesh, this is a mess,” Mabel noted as she watched an empty car somehow catch fire.
“You know, for how often Gravity Falls is almost destroyed, it's surprising this is the first real riot we’ve seen break out over it,” Dipper agreed as someone threw a cinder block into a nearby storefront window.
“Everyone looks so scared…” Steven said with a sympathetic frown. Because even despite the anger filling the air, there was plenty of fear to be found there too. Fear that couldn’t be so easily quelled.
The Gems had seen more than enough. They took to the top of Dewey’s overturned van, though most of the townsfolk barely noticed them. Their frenzy only came to an end as Garnet summoned her gauntlets and loudly slammed them together, swiftly silencing everyone. “You all need to leave Gravity Falls as soon as possible!” she ordered far more sternly than Dewey had. “No more questions and no more rioting.”
“B-but what about that scary hand in the sky?!” Lazy Susan fearfully questioned.
“We'll take care of that!” Pearl countered. “You can rest assured that Gravity Falls will be safe and secure under our watch while you're all away.”
“If it's going to be so 'safe', then why do we need to leave in the first place?!” Kofi shouted as several others echoed in agreement with him.
“Well, you have to leave because… um… b-because…” Pearl trailed off, unsure of how to explain it all. Much less to a crowd of already emotionally unstable humans who certainly wouldn’t understand the sort of threat Homeworld posed to them. Fortunately for all three of the Gems, that’s where Steven came in.
“Everyone, please!” Steven joined them on top of the van. “I know none of you want to leave your homes. But I also know that you’re all going to be ok because I know each and every one of you! You’re smart, tough, brave, and resourceful. And you all care more about each other than you do a giant green hand that came from outer space! I know it hurts to leave the place you care about, and I know it hurts to have to face the unknown. But are we really going to hurt each other?”
The crowd had already started to settle, deciding to hear Steven out as he made such an earnest appeal. One that rang just a bit louder than all of the fear and panic stirring among them. “Of course not! We’ll face this evacuation and we’ll survive until it’s all over and we’re all safely back here again! So, what do you say? Are we all in this together or not?”
A murmur of agreement was already rippling through the townsfolk, only bolstered by the supportive cheer Dipper and Mabel started to help Steven’s cause. Several more people soon joined in, turning outrage to understanding in almost no time at all. All thanks to Steven.
“Hmph, way to steal my mayoral thunder, kid…” Dewey muttered as he clumsily emerged from his van. “Er–what the Universe kid said!” he called through his megaphone nonetheless. “Now, everyone! Let’s…” He tapped a button in his van to switch his intercom back on, rallying the town with the first of many more:
“Eva-cuate! Eva-cuate!”
“Eva-cuate! Eva-cuate!”
The call from Mayor Dewey’s van echoed even as far out as the Corduroy’s cabin in the woods. Wendy gripped her ax even tighter when she heard it, her sights fixed squarely on the hand in the sky. She had a feeling it was related to the Gems, as so many odd happenings in Gravity Falls were, and if the ongoing evacuation had anything to do with it, then chances were, it wasn’t friendly.
Still, even if everyone else was heading out to save their own skins, that didn’t mean she had to. She had every intention of staying, of helping out however she could–
If only she didn’t have her father and brothers to contend with.
The only noise that could rival Dewey’s evacuation alarm was the chaos going on inside of the house behind her. Her brothers were a rowdy bunch on their best days, but now, they were a mix of terrified tantrums and angry outbursts that even Manly Dan couldn’t calm. Which was why he was quick to turn to the one person he could always count on to do just that.
“Wendy!” Manly Dan burst out of the house as his sons continued carrying on behind him. “Get in here and help me round up your brothers! We gotta hightail it outta here before that hand pokes us all into a bunch of flannel-wearing pulps!”
“I’m not going,” Wendy sternly said. She didn’t even bother turning around to tell him that; not when she knew how he was bound to react.
Sure enough, she heard her father draw in a sharp, angry breath before asking, “What did you just say?”
“I said, I’m not going, Dad. I’m gonna stay here and help fight that… that thing off before it can totally wreck Gravity Falls.”
“No, you’re not!” Dan practically roared. “You’re gonna get in the truck with me n’ your brothers, and we’re all gonna hit the road with everyone else.”
“You guys can go ahead and do that then,” Wendy finally glanced back. Past her red-faced father, she could see her brothers curiously congregating in the door frame to watch another infamous argument break out. This time, it was an argument she was determined to win. “But I’m not going anywhere.”
Manly Dan growled in frustration as his burly fists tightened at his sides. “Why do you always gotta be so damn stubborn , girl?! Don’t you know how serious this kind of thing is?!”
“Yeah, I do,” Wendy turned to fully face her father. “And if you were really as ‘manly’ as everybody says you are, then you’d be on the same page as me about staying and fighting instead of running away like you always do when things are too much for you to handle. Just like you did when Mom died.”
That was enough to freeze Dan stiff. Wendy could tell she’d struck a nerve and she’d meant to. If there was one thing her father could never argue with her about, it was that. What she wasn’t expecting, however, was for Dan to take a different approach entirely.
Somehow, he settled his raging temper enough to let out a steadying sigh as he stepped forward, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Wendy, listen,” he began, his gruff voice filled with genuine worry and regret. “I may have taught you to be a fighter, but even I know there are some fights you just can’t win. And this is one of them fights. Now, I’m not about to lose you like I lost-” He cut himself off, wiping at his face to ward off tears that were dangerously close to coming. It caught Wendy off guard enough to convince her to hear him out, if nothing else.
“You know you’re the only thing still keepin’ this ragtag group of lumberjacks and lumberjuniors together,” Dan nodded back at the house and his sons. “We depend on you, just like we did your… your mom. So, you gotta come along with us and book it outta here until this whole ‘evacuation’ thing is done. After all, without you, we’d be like a tree without roots: ready to topple over without even takin’ a swing.”
“You know I never get your weird lumberjack analogies, Dad,” Wendy shook her head, though she still managed a smile all the same. “But… I think I get this one…”
She stole another look at her brothers, all looking at her with the same pleading gaze her father was. It took only seconds under that gaze for her resolve to quickly crumble, for her mind to swiftly change. What kind of big sister would she be to let any of them down? Who would she be to abandon her family, right when they needed her most?
“Ok…” She sighed as she slipped her ax back into her belt. Her smile widened a bit as her father patted her shoulder, as her brothers spilled out of the house to bury her in a happy hug. “You guys win. I’ll go.”.
“Eva-cuate! Eva-cuate!”
“An evacuation, huh?” Vidalia pulled her paintbrush from her canvas when she heard the alarm sound. “We’ve had pretty much everything else in this town, but I don’t think we’ve ever had one of those... Aw, well.” She shrugged as she stood, brushing her apron off as she headed out of her garage studio and back into the house. “Boys, get down here! We gotta go!”
Vidalia stood by the stairs, arms crossed as she waited for either of her sons. Sour Cream was the first to wander down, headphones on and thumping as he nodded along to the beat. “Sour Cream,” Vidalia began, but he didn’t hear her. “Sour Cream,” she tried again, following him into the kitchen.“Sour Cream!” Vidalia finally managed to get his attention by lifting one side of his earphones up.
“Oh, hey, Mom,” Sour Cream greeted as he pulled a soda out of the fridge. “What’s up?”
“You hear that?” Vidalia paused for the sake of the evacuation alarm. “It means it’s time for us to go.”
“Wait, you mean the whole ‘evacuation’ thing?” Sour Cream asked, barely concerned. “Yeah, Tambry already texted me about it. But I didn’t think we had to, you know, actually go.”
“Uh, that’s sorta the whole point of an evacuation, SC. To get people to leave .”
“But I was gonna rave to the weird hand in the sky later! That thing’s totally sick. It’s already inspired me to mix out a ton of new beats and-”
“Well, you can mix them all out in the car on the way to the hotel.”
“It won’t be the same…” Sour Cream said, sighing. “Hey, what about Yellowtail? Isn’t he supposed to get back from that fishing trip tomorrow? What’s he gonna think of us just running off like this?”
“I’ll be sure to call him once we’re settled in for the night,” Vidalia assured. “And Sour Cream, would it kill you to call him ‘Dad’ for once?”
“Meh,” Sour Cream shrugged as he headed upstairs.
Vidalia called up to him one last time, even as he put his headphones back on. “Hey, while you’re up there, tell Onion to-”
She stopped short when she felt her smock rustle. She grinned as she pulled it up to find her younger son hiding underneath it. “Boo! Found ya!” Vidalia chuckled, though Onion didn’t join in. Instead, he stayed as silent as ever, even as his mom rustled his hair. “You ready to deal with a weird alien hand in the sky, my little troublemaker?”
A small scowl crossed Onion’s face as he pulled a baseball bat out of nowhere, tapping it against his free hand. “No, not like that,” Vidalia laughed again as she took the weapon away from him. He simply let out a soft sigh as she hoisted him into her arms so they could prepare for their unexpected trip out of town. “We’re gonna take a… bit of a less hands-on approach. Still, if we need to take on a burglar or a little league team, we’ll keep that plan in mind.”
“Eva-cuate! Eva-cuate!”
Pacifica stood at the library’s largest window, her eyes wide with fear as she watched the skies begin to shift from the familiar shades of dusk to a sickly sort of green. The hand was getting bigger by the second, there was no doubt about it now, which made the evacuation call seem all the more urgent.
Or at least, it was urgent for everyone but the Northwests.
It wasn’t long before her watch was interrupted by her parents. They burst into the library, distracted as ever, as servants frantically rushed through the halls behind them. Pacifica couldn’t help but wonder if her parents had ordered them to evacuate along with everyone else–or if they were forced to stay here to attend to the mansion’s upkeep. Probably the latter, if she had to guess.
“Oh, Pacifica, there you are!” Priscilla exclaimed. “What do you think you’re doing in here?”
“I-I was just looking at… at that…” Pacifica pointed at the hand, which in turn, was pointing right back at her.
“Yes, Pacifica, we’re all well aware of the ‘hand’,” Preston rolled his eyes. “But, it’s none of our concern. Now, come along. It’s time to bunker down inside the panic room until all this nonsense blows over.”
“Wait, what?” Pacifica frowned, confused. “We’re not going to evacuate like everyone else?”
“‘Everyone else’ doesn’t have the luxury of a steel-doored, double-enforced panic room like we do,” Preston pointed out. “And besides, it’s not like we can just leave and risk losing our mansion, our factory, our titan’s ore mine, every piece of the proud Northwest empire that stands here in Gravity Falls! That would be absurd!”
“But Mayor Dewey said-”
“Mayor Dewey can barely even be considered competent,” Preston let out a haughty scoff. “What with him entrusting the safety of the town with those unkempt Crystal Gems instead of actually taking charge of things himself for a change.”
“Ugh,” Priscilla cringed at the mere mention of the Gems. “They’re so tacky.”
“But…” Pacifica still tried to protest. Even though she knew from experience that she really shouldn’t. “Shouldn’t we-”
“Pacifica,” Preston cut her off, his patience wearing thin. “We are going to the panic room, whether you want to or not. Now, I’m only going to tell you to come along one more time.”
Pacifica watched, dread sinking into her stomach, as she watched her father reach into his suit pocket. She knew all too well what he was looking for, and before he could so much as pull it out, much less ring it, she quickly caved to her parents’ demands. Just like she always did.
“R-right,” she nodded as she hurried over to meet them. “I… I’m coming…”
Neither of her parents needed to say another word. Instead, they simply turned and headed out of the library, trusting that their daughter would follow after them. Still, Pacifica couldn’t help but glance back at the window one final time, at the hand looming high above the town, ready to destroy it all.
Even as they went off to hide from that hand, Pacifica still found herself hoping that someone might actually stand up to it. Someone stronger and braver than she could ever even hope to be.
“Eva-cuate! Eva-cuate!”
“Peedee!” Fryman grunted as he tried to pull his panicking son away from the counter of Gravity Fries. “Come on! We gotta go!”
“But are we coming back?!” Peedee cried, desperate to stay put. Even as Dewey’s evacuation alarm only continued blaring through the heart of downtown the loudest.
“I don’t know, maybe!” Fryman tried reasoning with him, only to get accidentally kicked in the face. “Ow! Peedee, seriously! This is ridiculous! The shop will still be here when we get back, I promise!”
“But you don’t know that!” Peedee wailed. “For all we know that hand could come down here and smash the entire town! Then how are we gonna make an honest living, Dad? How ?!”
Fryman had no answer for his son outside of an exhausted sigh. He was getting nowhere with Peedee, clearly, which was why he was quick to turn to his older son for some assistance. Not that he expected much on that front either. “Ronaldo!” he shouted, peering his head out of the fry shop. “Get in here and help me with your brother!”
“Dad! I can’t!” Ronaldo protested, keeping his sights and his phone fixed on the hand in the sky. “I gotta vlog this invasion for my blog! Keep Gravity Falls Weird is gonna explode in followers after I post this! I might even start trending! This is gonna be huge !”
“I don’t even know what any of that even means!” Fryman argued, annoyed. “Ronaldo!” He tried again, but to no avail. Ronaldo was far too distracted to even think about pulling away from his blog now. Admitting defeat, Fryman finally let Peedee go as he moved on to finish packing.
“I can’t believe this,” he muttered to himself as he threw his belongings into a duffle bag. “I spend all these years trying to run a profitable business, trying to raise my boys in a safe, stress-free environment, and what do I get in return for it? A giant hand in the sky, an evacuation, and two sons who don’t even have enough common sense to wanna leave during all of it! I swear, if this is the last time some dangerous disaster happens in this crazy town, it’ll be too soon…”
Fryman only continued grumbling to himself, completely unaware of the pair of shadows lingering right behind his restaurant. They stayed stealthy, out of sight of the frantic, fleeing townsfolk as their stakeout continued, even in the middle of an all-out emergency like this.
“Powers, these readings are incredible!” Agent Trigger exclaimed as he looked over his satellite monitor. “I-I’ve never seen anything like this before! It’s almost like that thing is extraterrestrial or something!”
“Of course, it's extraterrestrial, Trigger,” Powers stoically scowled at the hand in the sky. “Frankly, it could be considered a UFO if we weren’t, in fact, able to identify that it’s a hand.”
“So… technically it’s an IFO, then? An Identified Flying Object?”
“Exactly.”
“Shouldn’t we report this to the higher-ups?” Trigger asked. “If aliens really are on that thing, then this could very well be a matter of not just national, but worldwide security!”
“Not yet,” Powers sternly shook his head. “Remember, this isn’t what we were sent here to investigate. So for now, we’ll just bide our time and see where this so-called ‘invasion’ goes, but we’ll add it to our general report nonetheless. And if this gets out of hand, then we’ll call for backup.”
“Heh, out of hand,” Trigger smirked. “Good one, sir.”
“Good what?” Powers asked as his own unintentional joke went over his head.
“Er, uh—never mind.”
“Eva-cuate! Eva-cuate!”
“Whoa…” Soos frowned as he peered out the window. “Abuelita, I think that freaky green hand in the sky is getting bigger… Or closer. If it’s that second one, then I guess that’s why that evacuation alarm keeps going off, huh?”
“Si ,” Abuelita nodded as she continued packing for the trip. “Soos, mijo , come help me with this trunk. We must go before the giant sky hand comes and flattens us into pancakes.”
“Oo, or tortillas,” Soos mused. “Or a flatbread, or heck, even a pizza. Aw, now I’m getting hungry. You think I have time to make something before this whole evacuation thing?”
Abuelita didn’t get a chance to answer before the phone suddenly rang on the other side of the den. “Oop, on it,” Soos dutifully headed over, only to end up nearly knocking the lamp off the end table. He caught it before it could shatter on the rug, getting tangled up in its cord as he struggled to make it over to the phone in time. He narrowly did, picking it up as he tried wriggling out of the cord, to no avail. Even so, he answered anyway. “Hello?”
“Soos!” Stan’s voice was sharp enough to startle Soos to the point he nearly dropped it.
“Oh, hey, Mr. Pines,” he greeted, surprised to hear from his boss on his day off. And in the middle of a town-wide crisis, no less. “What’s up?”
“I need you to get over here as soon as you can.”
“Uh… are you sure about that, Mr. Pines?” Soos asked as he took another look out the window. “I don’t think there’s enough time for me to make it all the way over there. I’m pretty sure we’re all supposed to leave town because of-”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, the big green hand,” Stan quickly cut him off. “Listen, I just need you to pick the twins up, take them with you, and keep ‘em outta town until this whole ‘evacuation’ thing blows over, you got it? I’ll even give you the money to put them up in a motel for the night and everything, just make sure they’re gone by the time that hand hits the ground.”
“Wait…” Soos cut in, suddenly concerned “You mean... you’re not going with them?”
There was a long, almost heavy pause on the other end, one that made Soos worry even more when Stan finally let out a long sigh and said, “No. No, I’m not.”
“Why not?” Soos asked as he finally pulled himself out of the cord tangle. “I mean, I dunno what this hand thing really is, but it’s gotta be pretty dangerous if we all have to leave because of it. Don’t you think you should go too, just to be, you know, safe and stuff?”
Stan sighed again. Even from the other end of the line, Soos could hear the stress in his boss’ voice, though exactly where that stress was coming from, he had no idea. “Listen, Soos, it’s… complicated… I-I’ll tell you more when all this hand business is said and done, but for now, the only thing I care about is keeping those kids safe from whatever this… thing is. Can I count on you to help me with that?”
Soos hesitated, but only for a moment. Stan was depending on him, and under his orders, Dipper and Mabel would too. And if the entire Pines family was depending on him, then Soos considered it an honor and privilege to help them, in any way he could.“You know you can, dude.”
It took over an hour for Dewey’s evacuation alarm to finally fade into silence. By then, everyone had gotten the message, and many were already on their way out of town. Some, however, weren’t as ready to leave so soon–or at all, if they could help it. As Steven and the Gems headed back to the temple to prepare, Dipper and Mabel made their way to the shack with a plan of their own in mind. A plan that they quickly realized would be much harder to convince Stan of than they thought when they found him, already waiting for them in the den.
“There you two are! At this rate, I thought you’d already made good on this evacuation mess and hitched a ride with somebody outta town.”
“Wait, you thought we left?” Mabel exchanged a confused glance with Dipper.
“Uh, yeah?” Stan shrugged. “And to be honest, I kinda wish you had; it would have made things way easier for me.”
“Well, uh… actually, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper apprehensively began. “We’re not-”
“Eh, I know you’re probably not ready to leave, so I figured I'd take care of that for you,” Stan picked up the pair of suitcases on the ground beside him. “Since you were taking your sweet time, I went to the trouble of packing your bags for you. You can thank me later, or better yet, tip me. I’d appreciate that even more.”
“Grunkle Stan-” Mabel tried again, only to be cut off.
“Now, come on,” Stan said, heading for the door. “That creepy alien hand thing is getting closer and closer by the second. Soos will be here any minute now to-”
“Grunkle Stan!” Dipper finally broke through. “Um… Mabel and I were talking and we’re, uh… we’re actually thinking of skipping out on the whole evacuation thing…”
Stan looked between the pair as he let out a flat, “…What?”
“What Dipper means is… we’re actually just gonna... stay here...” Mabel smiled as she anxiously wrung her hands. “Just like we always do whenever anything super dangerous like this shows up.”
A tense beat of silence passed, one that was only filled in by the sharp scoff Stan let out. “Oh, you’re not staying.”
“Uh… yes, we are,” Dipper countered, but Stan was having none of it.
“No, you’re not,” he firmly reiterated. “I know you kids think I’m irresponsible, which is probably true, but I’m not crazy . This is a full-on alien invasion we’re talking about here, not some weird magic spell or monster of the week. I’ve let you two get caught up in all this wacko Gem business so far this summer, but I’m not about to let you get yourselves killed over it!”
“But Grunkle Stan!” Mabel protested. “We have to stay and help Steven and the Gems fight Peridot off!”
“I don’t care about who you think you have to fight off,” Stan argued just as fiercely. “Someday you kids need to learn that not every tiny little thing that comes your way is your problem.”
“But this is our problem!” Dipper stressed, frustrated. “It’s our problem, every bit as much as it is the Gems’ problem! We’ve fought Peridot and beaten her–more than once, and we can do it again! When are you and the Gems finally gonna realize that we can actually handle this stuff and let us help?!”
“When are you gonna realize that you’re in way over your head?!” Stan shot back. “If you kids knew even half of how dangerous all this Gem stuff really was, then you’d-”
“Mr. Pines! I’m here!” Soos announced as he stepped the shack. He quickly stopped short as soon as he sensed the thick tension filling the den. “Uh… Am I interrupting something?”
“No, Soos,” Stan simmered down a bit. “You made it just in time.” He shoved the twins’ suitcases into their arms before he corralled them toward the door. “We’re done arguing about this. Stop whining and go with Soos. I’ll see you when I see you.”
As disappointed as both of them were, Dipper and Mabel quickly stopped short as soon as they realized exactly what Stan had just implied. “Wait… Grunkle Stan, you’re not coming with us?” Mabel frowned back at him.
“Er—uh…” Stan avoided the curious looks they were sending his way. He didn’t have any concrete answers for them, nothing he could explain in full. So instead, he simply told as much of the truth as he was able to, even if he knew it wouldn’t go over well. “Not right now, no.”
“You can’t be serious!” Dipper angrily exclaimed. “How can you make such a big deal about us leaving if you’re not even gonna leave yourself!? If you get to stay here, Grunkle Stan, then so do we!”
“I’m not staying!” Stan snapped. It was a lie, but a necessary one; just like all the others he’d ever told them. “I just… I’m just gonna be a little bit behind you kids is all. I gotta make sure the shack’s all locked up and secure, you know? Just ‘cause the Gems have some weird giant hand coming down to beat the stuffing outta them doesn’t mean my business should have to suffer for it.”
“But Mr. Pines,” Soos cut in, confused. “I thought you said you weren’t-”
“T-that I wasn’t going to tell you to wait up for me or anything!” Stan quickly cut him off. “So… yeah, there ya have it. You kids are leaving, and so am I. End of story. Now get goin’ already, will ya?”
With that, Stan gave the twins one final shove out of the shack, without even so much as saying goodbye as he slammed the door shut behind them. He leaned against the other side of that door as his facade finally crumbled, as he let out a long sigh and brushed his hand against his face. “You did what you had to do,” he told himself, struggling to believe it. “You can’t let anything happen to those kids.” He stood a bit taller, squaring his shoulders as he began to head for the vending machine in the gift shop. “You can’t let anything happen to that either.”
Back outside, Soos helped the twins load their luggage into the back of his truck. Neither of them had much to say; what could be said, really, when they were about to leave their friends to face the burden they shouldered all on their own? Still, what else could they really do? Stan had put his foot down, and as much as neither of them wanted to, they both knew they had no choice but to go.
Still, that didn’t mean they had to be happy about it.
Just as they were about to get in the truck, however, Dipper stopped short when he noticed someone landing at the edge of the lawn. “Lapis!” he hurried over to her, hoping that she’d hear him out. Just like she had before, just like so few others ever seemed to.
“Dipper, what’s going on?” Lapis looked between him and the truck. “Where are you going?”
“Lapis, you’re never gonna believe this,” Dipper began, disgruntled. “Grunkle Stan is making me and Mabel evacuate along with everyone else, which is just… just crazy after all the stuff we’ve been through this summer, and-”
“Wait, you’re leaving?” Lapis asked, her eyes wide. “Oh, that’s such a relief! If I knew that ‘Grunkle Stan’ person could actually convince you to escape when I couldn’t, then I would have asked him to do it from the start!”
“Wait… what?”
“Dipper, listen,” Lapis lowered herself to his level as she rested a hand on his shoulder. “I know you don’t want to leave, but… you really should. Whatever’s coming… It’s… Peridot could…” She steadied herself as she shook her head. “I don’t want you to be around for this. I want you to be safe, more than anything else. You know that, right?”
“Y-yeah…” Dipper hesitantly agreed. “But… I just want to-”
“Help, I know,” Lapis finished with a small, sad smile. “But you already did help. Dipper, if you’ve shown me anything these past few days, it’s that you’re brave and that you’re stubborn, probably more than any human really has the right to be…” She laughed, and even Dipper couldn’t help but crack a smile when he heard it. Still, Lapis turned a touch more serious as her hold on his shoulder tightened just the smallest bit. “But bravery and stubbornness aren’t going to get Peridot and whoever else is with her to turn around now. Which is why you need to go, Dipper. Please. For me… and for yourself…”
Dipper couldn’t very well say no to that. He sighed as he met her earnest, pleading gaze, knowing that he owed her this much after everything he’d asked of her. He couldn’t let her courageous decision to stay be in vain. He couldn’t let her bravery be all for nothing. “Ok…” he finally relented. “I… I’ll go. But… What about you, Lapis? What are you going to do?”
Lapis stood, looking up to the hand ship with fear and resolve alike as she said, “I’m going to stay.”
“R-really?” Dipper asked, surprised.
“Really,” Lapis confirmed. “I already told you I was. I can’t keep running from this. I have to face it head on. Besides,” she smiled as she playfully ruffled his hair. “Somebody once told me that it’s important to fight for what’s worth protecting. And how could I ever let that ‘somebody’ down?”
This time, Dipper genuinely laughed as he caught Lapis in an unexpected hug, one that she was more than happy to return. She kept her hand on his head as she beamed down at him, longing for the day when all of this was finally over. When they’d both be safe and free and together , without any danger left to hang over their heads and keep them apart.
“I don’t know what I’d do if… if something were to happen to you…” she whispered, worry creeping into her voice as she struggled to keep her smile up. “So… stay safe…”
“Of course,” Dipper assured as they parted ways. “But only if you do too.”
Lapis hesitated, but she still nodded all the same. “Right,” she agreed to a promise she wasn’t sure she could really keep.
“Well, I guess I should get going then,” Dipper nodded back to the truck, where Soos and Mabel were waiting for him. “I’ll see you soon, ok, Lapis?”
“Ok…” Lapis waved him off. It was only when she was sure that he wasn’t looking that she finally let her smile fall. She finally let her fear fully show as she stared up at the hand ship and all of the devastation it was so close to bringing. “S-see you soon…”
By now, most of the town had evacuated, leaving an eerie silence stretching across the entire valley behind. That silence reached as far as the temple as the Gems raced to come up with a last-ditch plan. They kept Steven out of most of it–the last thing any of them wanted was for him to know just how ill-prepared they really were. They masked their terror as best they could for the sake of reassuring him that they could handle this, that they could stop this, that they’d save the day.
Even if they knew they couldn’t, not this time, not against something like this.
As for Steven, he shuddered as he stole another look at the hand ship through his telescope. From the way it was pointing, it was clear it was headed straight for the temple–and all of them. He turned to tell the Gems as much–only to find them in the middle of helping Greg pack his van up for the trip.
“Hey! That’s a great idea, Dad!” he called over to them. They all stopped dead in their tracks as he hurried over to help. “You should leave with the rest of…” Steven trailed off, confusion filling his face as he spotted his own cheeseburger backpack and hot dog duffle bag in Pearl’s arms. “Is that… my luggage?”
The Gems exchanged an uneasy glance with Greg as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “…Who wants to tell him?”
Pearl shook her head as she desperately looked over at Amethyst. “Hey, you know I’m not good with this stuff!” she exclaimed, crossing her arms.
“W-what do you need to tell me?” Steven asked, even though he already had a strong hunch.
The others stayed silent and uncertain as Garnet stepped up to the daunting task in their stead. “Steven,” she knelt down to his level as she placed a steady hand on his shoulder. Her voice was a welcome sort of calm amidst this storm, against the worry he couldn’t hide no matter how hard he tried. “I know you don’t think we trust you. I know more often than not we treat you like a human child. But the truth is… we rely on you. Your voice inspires us, binds us, reminds us of why we promised to protect the planet. You must be that voice now, for them.”
She nodded over to the road leading out of town, jammed with the noisy traffic of the evacuees. Steven followed her gaze, caught between a tide of conflict as Garnet solemnly continued. “If anything happens, you need to be there to protect them, just like your mother once did. It’s your destiny.”
Steven almost argued, almost begged and pleaded with her to let him stay, to stand alongside his team and fight with them. But as he looked back to the road again, to all of the people who were being forced away for their own safety, he knew what he had to do. He couldn’t leave them without a defender, without a Crystal Gem to guide them back home. It was a job only he could do, and no matter what might happen, he was going to do it as best as he could.
“I won’t disappoint you,” he vowed, resolved. “I promise.”
“I know.” Garnet caught him off guard as she pulled him into a sudden, tight hug. Pearl and Amethyst were quick to join in, and Steven couldn’t help but notice there was a strange sense of finality to it all. That if they all let go of each other, they might never come together like this again.
But that couldn’t happen, he knew it wouldn’t. They’d all be together again soon… wouldn’t they?
With weak smiles and heavy hearts, they finally parted ways. Steven sat in the front seat of his dad’s van, waving back at the Gems through the rear-view mirror. The Gems returned his silent farewell, one that they shared with Dipper and Mabel too when they spotted them in the back seat of Soos’ truck. Two less problems to worry about, they figured, relieved. Two less people to watch them all to pieces once everyone was gone.
Garnet only let her team wallow in despair for a moment though. They couldn’t lose themselves to their fear, not now, when there was still so much at stake. “We did everything we could,” she assured them, her usually calm voice wavering with dread. “Alright. Let’s pull it together!”
Pearl and Amethyst agreed as they all moved to ready themselves for the battle ahead. High on the cliff above the temple, Lapis landed to watch, shaking her head at their futile efforts. She couldn’t care less about what happened to the Crystal Gems. The only thing that mattered to her now was on his way safely out of town, safe and sound. All she could do now was fight to make sure he stayed that way–
Even though she knew that this fight was one she was going to lose.
Steven could scarcely keep his sights off the hand ship as they passed it by on the road out of town. The night skies were engulfed in its green, otherworldly glow, casting everything below it in a similar eerie shade. Gravity Falls was already far behind them now, but Steven still yearned for it, and for the Gems more and more with each passing mile.
Still, he could take solace in the fact that he wasn’t evacuating on his own. He had his father by his side, and in the rear view window, he could see Soos’ truck, carrying Dipper and Mabel in tow. At least some of his friends were safe, even if he knew the ones he left behind weren’t.
Even so, Steven did what he could to stay on the bright side. “Maybe when Peridot gets to Earth,” he turned to his dad with a small, hopeful smile. “She’ll see how nice all the people are and she won’t wanna hurt anyone.”
Greg offered up a bittersweet, wistful grin of his own as he mused, “Just like your mother…”
“Yeah?” Steven asked, his smile brightening.
“Yeah...” Greg let out a sigh as a worried frown took over his face. “But these other Gems aren’t like her. They aren’t like Garnet, Amethyst, or Pearl. They aren’t gonna start caring about people now. They didn’t the first time they-” He quickly stopped himself before he could say too much, too soon. Still, that hardly stopped Steven from asking.
“T-the first time they what?”
Greg swallowed hard. There was no dancing around it, not this time, as cornered as he was without any of the Gems to lean on. He had no choice but to face his son and tell him what they all had always struggled to give him: the truth.
“I-I mean… it was thousands of years ago! It’s—it’s not like I was there!” he let out an uneasy laugh. “Look, the Gems should be telling you all this stuff, but I get it. They… they don’t want you thinking of them like that.”
“Like w-what?” Steven pressed, his brow furrowing as Greg anxiously hesitated. “Dad, like what?!”
“Like aliens , Steven! Aliens who invaded Earth!”
“W-what?” Steven asked, his eyes wide. He knew the Gems were aliens, of course, but to find out they had come to earth, uninvited and unwelcome so many years ago… It was startling, to say the least.
“All they do is try to make up for it,” Greg continued. “But they just can’t forgive themselves. Gems were doing something awful to the planet a-and your mother couldn’t stand it anymore.”
Steven gripped the side of his door, overtaken with alarm as he remembered the Kindergarten.. The way Amethyst called herself a parasite, how she’d said other Gems had been made there, how Pearl had claimed it harmed the planet… Was that all a part of this somehow?
“She told me that’s why she had to turn on her own kind. She gave up everything just to stop what they started here and drive the invading Gems off of Earth.”
“I’m going to stay and fight for this planet,” Rose had said in the memory Pearl had showed him in the strawberry battlefield. “The things that live here… they’re all so precious and special… They deserve to live and thrive and be free. And so… I’m going to do all I can to give them that freedom.”
All she could… even wage a war against her very own kind. “S-so she saved the world!” Steven tried to let himself be comforted by that fact. “That’s good!”
“No such thing as a good war, kiddo,” Greg shook his head sadly. “A lot of Gems were destroyed, people too… In the end, your mother could only save a handful of her closest friends. If it weren’t for her shield… man, I don’t know…”
Greg quickly caught himself when he glanced over at his son. Steven was shaken, to say the least, with a hand held tightly over his stomach–or more specifically, his gem. Greg could tell he’d gone too far, which was why he did all he could to try and change the subject. To try and save his son from the sort of stress he and Rose never wanted him to shoulder. “B-but hey! Let’s look on the bright side! We’re gonna drive past that waffle place in a couple miles! M-maybe we could see if Dipper, Mabel, and Soos are up for-”
“We gotta go back,” Steven suddenly said, panic rising on every word. “Dad, we gotta go back! Turn the van around!”
“W-what?!” Greg gaped, alarmed. “No way! The Gems don’t want you going back!”
“I know they’re just trying to protect me,” Steven urged, distressed. “But I have to protect them! I have Mom’s shield!” He pulled his jacket up to show his gemstone. “They need me!”
“I need you too!” Greg argued just as intently.
“Please, Dad, what if they get hurt?!” Steven cried, tears welling up in his eyes. Greg, however, didn’t say a word, didn’t show a single sign of caving as he kept the van going straight ahead. Straight away from what Steven knew he had to go back to.
“Dad, turn around!” he begged again, choking on a sob. His father’s silence only upset him even more. Couldn’t he see that he had to do this? That he had to help them? That no one else could? “Dad! Turn the van around, please !”
Fueled by fear and grief alike, Steven slammed his fist into the dashboard. Not only was that enough to break it, it also sent the airbag bursting out into his face. Startled, Greg slammed on the brakes, swerving to the side of the road and watching in horror as the airbag launched Steven out of the van through the roof. Fortunately, he summoned a bubble just in time to protect himself, and to cushion his fall into a ditch just off the road. Still, it was a rough landing when the bubble burst, leaving him disoriented until he heard his father calling for him nearby.
“Steven!” Greg hopped out of the van. He hardly cared about the traffic that had been forced to stop behind him; his only concerns rested with his son and the tears still streaking down his face.
“D-Dad…” Steven whimpered, leaning into his father’s embrace. There wasn’t time to say much else, however, before someone else rushed in to check on him.
“Steven!” Dipper and Mabel hurried down into the ditch. Soos stood nearby; his truck had been parked almost as soon as the twins’ saw the pink bubble sailing through the air and begged him to stop.
“That was totally crazy!” Mabel exclaimed as Greg helped Steven to his feet. “You were all like ‘crash!’ and then ‘whoosh!’ and finally ‘boom!’ Are you ok?”
“Yeah,” Steven weakly nodded. “I… I’m ok…”
“Are you sure?” Dipper asked, noticing his still very-apparent tears. “You’re crying. What’s the matter?”
“I-it’s the Gems!” Steven got right to the point. “They need my help! I gotta go back to Gravity Falls and help them! Or else they-”
“Yo, Greg!” He stopped short as the group in the ditch noticed the townsfolk gathering around to check on Steven. It was the least they could do for the one who had rallied them to evacuate in the first place. “Are you and your kid ok?!”
“Yeah, yeah!” Greg assured as he rested his hands on Steven's shoulders. “We’re fine!”
“But it’s not fine!” Steven countered as he turned back to his father. “Dad, please. I-I have to go back. I have to! They don’t have my shield. They need it! You… you understand?”
Greg sighed sadly. He couldn’t hold his son back from this; even if he tried, it wouldn't be right to stop him from doing something he believed so strongly in. Even still, his heart was heavy as he wiped one of Steven’s tears away and said, “Yeah, ok, just… be careful, or I’m gonna run fresh out of family.”
Steven nodded as he put on a thin smile to match his father’s. “Stay with everyone and keep them safe. I’ll figure out some way back to Gravity Falls-” He froze when he felt something soft plop down on his head. It only took a glance back to find that Lion had somehow managed to find him when he needed him most, even all the way out here. “Oh, this’ll work!”
“Steven, wait,” Dipper caught him off guard by grabbing his arm. He smiled, resolved and unshaken as he said, “We’re coming with you.”
“Yeah!” Mabel cheered, pumping her fist. “Let’s go take that freaky alien hand ship out!”
Steven froze, alarm flashing over his face as he looked between the two of them. Two of his best friends, so eager and ready to help him, and yet… “You guys…” he sighed, shaking his head. “You… you can’t, not this time. This isn’t like Lapis and her water clones, or Gideon and his robot. This is something huge, something really bad , and-”
“So?” Mabel countered, smirking. “We’ve faced huge, really bad things before and made it out ok every time, haven’t we?”
“Besides,” Dipper added. “Peridot wouldn’t have had any reason to come here if it wasn’t for us. So it’s only fair that we all fix this mess before it can get any worse than it already is.”
“B-but-” Steven drew in an anxious breath. “You don’t understand. Dad told me a lot of people– humans –they…” He trailed off, unsure of how to tell them something so grave, so heavy. So he decided to try a different tactic instead, one that he could only hope would convince them to let him do this alone like he knew he needed to. Even if he desperately didn’t want to. “I-I’m supposed to protect you. It’s my job, my destiny . So… y-you can’t–you need to-”
“Steven,” Dipper cut him off as he rested a steadying hand on his shoulder. “So far this summer, we’ve been up against Gem monsters and giant robots–”
Mabel chimed in with plenty of examples of her own. “Brain-eating zombies, a creepy shapeshifter, an even creepier child psychic-”
“An army of living watermelons, a crazy dream demon,” Dipper continued, his smile only widening as he finished, “Heck, both of us have even fused with you. And you know what all of those things have in common?”
“Um… we almost died a bunch of times?” Steven guessed, frowning.
“...Well, yeah, but even more importantly, we faced it all together ,” Dipper soundly concluded. “So, what makes you think that some dumb old hand in the sky is going to change that?”
Steven didn’t know how to argue with that–he wasn’t so sure he wanted to either. Because at the end of the day, he knew they were both right. Even if he’d only known Dipper and Mabel for a few short weeks, they’d already been through so much together, both good and bad. Which was why there was no one else he’d rather have by his side right now, when he needed someone to lean on the most.
There was no one else he’d rather go with to meet the greatest threat they’ve ever faced.
“You’re right,” he finally agreed, smiling warmly. “Let’s do this–together. Mystery Kids?”
Dipper and Mabel didn’t hesitate to pile their hands on top of Steven’s as they all proudly, bravely cheered together, “Mystery Kids!”
It took a bit of doing for the twins to convince Soos to let them go with Steven. But with enough begging and bribing, he finally caved and cleared them to go, under the condition that Stan wouldn’t find out. And so, with little time left to lose, Lion began the journey back to Gravity Falls with all three of the kids in tow. Along the way, Steven filled Dipper and Mabel in on as much as he could, about what Greg had told him, about why they were going back in the first place. A haunting tale that only made their mission even more momentous than it already was.
“So… let me get this straight…” Dipper began as soon as Steven was finished explaining it all. “Homeworld Gems were trying to destroy the Earth thousands of years ago, but your mom started a rebellion to stop them and won, but only after most of her friends died. Did… did I get all that right?”
“Yeah, that’s pretty much the gist of it,” Steven nodded tersely as he pulled out his phone. “And we’re gonna make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
“Uh, how?” Mabel asked, frowning.
“Um… with my shield, I guess,” Steven shrugged as he scrolled through his contacts. “To be honest, I don’t really have much of a… plan.”
“...Well, that’s reassuring,” Dipper deadpanned.
“We’ll figure something out” Steven turned his attention back to his phone. “Come on… pick up…”
“Who ya calling?” Mabel tried leaning past her brother to see. Before Steven could answer, however, his call went straight to voicemail.
“You’ve reached the Maheswaran residence,” Dr. Maheswaran’s voice sounded over the speaker “Please leave a message after the beep. And keep it short.”
“H-hey, Connie,” Steven began as casually as he could. “It’s Steven. Dipper and Mabel are here too-”
“Hiiii, Connie!” Mabel cheerily called.
“Mabel, shh!” Dipper was just as quick to quiet her so Steven could continue.
“Uh… we were just… seeing what you were up to… Don’t know if you knew, but, uh, there’s some crazy stuff going on with a giant space hand and we all might die, so, uh… I guess, call me back when you get this and talk to you soon! Bye!”
He abruptly hung up, without really explaining much at all. He caught the incredulous look both of the twins were sending his way as he offered them an awkward shrug. “I panicked.” There wasn’t much more to say as he put his phone away and focused on the path ahead.
After all, there was no more looking back now.
Stan shuddered as he heard the shack shake above him, glass shattering and shingles snapping from whatever was going on outside. The power had long since gone out, but the backup generators in the basement kept his work going steady. He was grateful for the distraction–anything to keep him from thinking about the looks on Dipper and Mabel’s faces when he sent them away without even giving them a proper goodbye.
“Doesn’t matter,” he muttered as he flipped through the first journal. “They’ll be back in a few days. You can make it up to ‘em then.”
He glanced up at the machine on the other side of the glass, aglow in the darkness surrounding him. He couldn’t bear to leave it behind, not like how he had when Gideon had taken over the shack. Stan knew his clueless rival never would have stumbled upon it, but these “Homeworld Gems”, a bunch of literal aliens with who knows what kind of technology on his side? They were much more likely to find it, to ruin everything he’d spent the past 30 years working so hard for.
Which was why he was going to do whatever it took to keep that from happening.
“Don’t worry, poindexter,” Stan shut the journal, gently resting his hand over the one on its cover. “I won’t let them find it. Not now, when we're so damn close…”
He simply sneered when the earth above him rattled again. “If those Homeworld freaks want this thing so badly, then just let ‘em try to get to it,” he grabbed the bat lying next to his chair, deciding to keep it close on hand. Just in case. “I’ll be ready for them.”
Stan finally managed a confident smile as he spared a glance at the photo on the desk ahead of him. At the twins, somewhere safe and sound and so far away from all of this–exactly where he wanted them to be. “I’ll be ready.”
The hand ship loomed large, only a few hundred feet away from landing by the time the kids arrived back in Gravity Falls. The entire town was bathed in its sinister green glow, though no one was around to really see it, much less to feel the rapid winds its approach was stirring up. Lion’s pace didn’t slow as he raced past the Mystery Shack and up the hill toward the temple. Steven quickly brought him to a stop as soon as he and the twins found what awaited them just beyond the tree line.
The Gems had pulled out all the stops to try and slow the ship’s approach. Pearl and Amethyst came together to form Opal, who fired a barrage of energized arrows at Garnet’s command. And yet, just like the Light Canons, they had no effect on its apparently impenetrable hull. The kids exchanged a worried glance as they watched from the sidelines; if nothing the Gems had done so far could stop this, then what could ?
“Stay here,” Steven ordered Lion as he and the twins hopped off. “If something happens, Dad will need a new son.”
“So, do we have a plan now ?” Mabel nervously eyed the hand ship.
“No, and it’s safe to say the Gems don’t either,” Dipper watched as Garnet and Opal looked to each other, completely at a loss.
“That’s why they need our help,” Steven said, already leading the way forward. “Come on!”
At the same time, Opal lowered her bow. Neither she nor Garnet needed to say it. There wasn’t much they could do now. “At least Steven is safe…” Garnet muttered, barely relieved. Until–
“Hey, guys!”
The Gems spun around, shocked at the sound of his voice and even more shocked to see not just him, but the twins too. That shock was enough to split Opal apart, throwing Amethyst and Pearl to the ground as they followed Garnet’s gaze over to the kids. “Steven! Dipper! Mabel!” she snapped, her hands in tight, trembling fists at her sides.
“You came back!” Amethyst cried, narrowly masking a smile.
“What are you doing?!” Pearl wailed as she scrambled to stand. “Get out of here, all three of you, now!”
The kids were more than prepared to protest, but they didn’t have a chance. The hand ship was almost here, finally slowing its descent as it came in for a landing. “It’s too late! Stay behind us!” Garnet ordered as she summoned her gauntlets. The kids did that much, especially as several trees toppled over under the weight of the massive hand pressing down upon it. Its fingers flattened out, slamming into the ground and rattling the surrounding forest. The Gems and the kids could only watch as a smooth green orb emerged from its open palm, rolling down to the very tip of the ship’s index finger.
The orb opened to reveal a peculiar pair. First, there was Peridot, already thoroughly annoyed as she glared down at the Crystal Gems. “That’s them alright,” she said to her much larger companion. “They’re the ones who keep breaking my machines!”
The other Gem let out a dismissive sneer. “This is it?”
“Jasper!” Peridot huffed. “They keep interfering with my work!”
Jasper stepped forward, finally allowing the group below to see her clearly. She was massive, to say the least, a full head taller than Garnet, with muscles to spare. The orange tint of her striped skin and wild hair were masked by the ship’s green glow, but even that couldn’t hide the color in the gemstone that sat where her nose would have been. Her sharp features settled into a cold scowl as she grumbled, “Looks like another waste of my time. You sure this is their base?”
“Affirmative,” Peridot nodded as her fingers formed into a screen. “These are the exact coordinates that Yellow Diamond’s ‘informant’ wanted to pass along to us…”
“Hmph,” Jasper boredly regarded the group on the ground once more. “I thought you said there was one more of them.”
“T-there was!” Peridot insisted. “It was some kind of four armed abomination–it used a human information dispenser to generate projectiles that took out my attack robinoids! It referred to itself as a ‘Stepper’, whatever that is!”
Steven and Dipper exchanged a startled glance when they heard this. There was no denying it now; Stepper’s triumph over Peridot had been the very push she’d needed into coming here. Which meant that all of this, from the ship, to the evacuation and everything in between… It was all their fault.
Still, now wasn’t time to wallow in guilt. If there’d even be time for that later at all.
“A ‘Stepper’, sure…” Jasper deadpanned, rolling her eyes. However, before she could say another word, the Crystal Gems finally stepped forward and drew their weapons. It was all they could do to stand firm before their foes, as frightening as they might be.
“You need to leave immediately!” Garnet fiercely demanded.
“Yeah, step off!” Amethyst growled, raising her whip high.
“This is not a Gem-controlled planet!” Pearl cried, clinging to her spear like a vice.
Jasper and Peridot simply ignored them as they jumped from the ship to land in the grass beneath it. “And you didn’t see Rose Quartz?” Jasper asked, feigning disappointment. “What a shame. I’d hoped to meet her. I was looking forward to beating her into the ground!”
Steven cringed, shocked at how gleefully violent Jasper was about such a vicious threat. It almost made him glad his mother wasn’t here to be on the receiving end of her wrath–even if the rest of them weren’t so lucky.
“ This is all that’s left of her army?” Jasper raised an unimpressed eyebrow at the Crystal Gems. “Some lost, defective Pearl? A puny, overcooked runt? And this shameless display?” She stopped short, narrowing her eyes when she caught sight of the trio of kids cowering behind them. “What are they ?”
Peridot didn’t get a chance to answer before someone new suddenly swooped straight into the middle of this confrontation. In a flash, Lapis landed from high above, her arms and wings all spread wide as she put herself squarely between the kids and their foes. “Don’t touch them!” she viciously warned. “They’re only humans! They aren’t threats at all! They aren’t part of them, so leave them alone!”
“Well, well, well…” Jasper cracked a dark smile. “Look who it is. Our little runaway Lapis Lazuli...”
“Lapis!” Dipper called, surprised.
“Dipper!” Lapis glanced back at him with wide, worried eyes. “Steven! Mabel! You three need to-”
She cut herself off with a yelp as Jasper suddenly grabbed her by the wrist, easily pulling her up into the air. “You made a mistake coming back to this worthless planet,” she taunted with an icy smirk. “You could have kept on running, and we might’ve never found you. So why didn’t you? Because of them?” She nodded over to the kids, scoffing as she dropped Lapis to the ground at her feet. “What a waste…”
Lapis said nothing, struggling to pick herself up as she sent the kids another desperate look. She was practically pleading with them to leave, but they had no intentions of going anywhere now. Not that they were so sure a brute like Jasper would even let them leave alive anyway.
“I’ve seen enough,” she concluded as she turned to leave. “You don’t need me for this. Just blast them with the ship.”
“Ugh, fine…” Peridot scowled as she recalibrated her screen. The ship followed her inputs to point at the kids and the Gems again, though this time, its finger sparked with a bright, dangerous sort of glow. It only continued charging with more and more energy with each passing second, building up to what would no doubt be a devastating attack.
“Kids! Get out of here!” Garnet shouted over the near-defening din of it all.
“W-we can’t!” Dipper shouted back as he glanced over at Lapis. “We won’t .”
“Yeah! We have to help you guys!” Mabel added just as intently.
“I won’t let any of you risk your lives!” Garnet sternly argued back.
“But this is our home!” Steven protested, tears welling up in his eyes. “And you’re all my family!” The Gems could only stare at him, just as distraught as they all realized they couldn’t stop what was coming. They couldn’t save the kids–they couldn’t even save themselves.
Still, Steven pressed forward, not even noticing the pale glow building just underneath his shirt, just as the ship fired its brutal blast. “I… I’m a Crystal Gem too!” With that, Steven charged forward, thinking of nothing other than the friends–the family he was so desperate to protect.
And protect them he did.
The explosion rattled the woods, uprooting even more trees in its wake. Jasper glanced back to make sure the job was done–only to find something shocking instead. Not only were the kids and the Gems all safe and sound. They were safe and sound behind the massive pink shield Steven had summoned to save them all, just in time.
“That shield!” Jasper gasped, fully turning to face it. “That symbol!”
Despite his best efforts, Steven couldn’t uphold the shield for long. It vanished the second he fell to his knees, exhausted by the energy it took to make it. He barely had time to catch his breath before Jasper stepped into his field of view. “You!” she barked in angry disbelief. “You have the power of Rose Quartz!”
" Now do you believe I needed an escort?!" Peridot interrupted.
"Fire a barrage!" Jasper sharply ordered. "Widespread! Now!"
Peridot hurried to do just that as she slid a finger across her screen. The ship followed suit, blasting a clear line into the ground that would have struck Steven, if Garnet hadn’t pushed him out of the way just in time. Amethyst and Pearl weren’t so lucky as the resounding explosion knocked them back, and Dipper and Mabel only narrowly avoided it by jumping away. Still, Steven wasn’t out of harm’s way yet as Jasper stood over him, powerful and menacing.
“Rose, why do you look like that?” she asked, glaring down at him relentlessly. “Why are you so weak ?”
“Don’t hurt him!” Lapis hurried to her feet and rushed over. She didn’t get far before Jasper stopped her, long before she could even hope to make it to Steven’s side.
“You knew about this!” Jasper accused as she shoved her back. “And you didn’t say anything about it when we interrogated you?!”
“I-it wasn’t relevant to the mission!” Lapis shook her head, frightened.
“Forget about the mission!”
“What?!” Peridot exclaimed, appalled.
“I said, forget it !” Jasper growled as she scowled back down at Steven. “Yellow Diamond needs to see this… thing… ”
By now, Steven had started crawling away from Jasper, far too petrified to pick himself up and outright run. His heart hammered in his chest as he locked eyes with her, finding nothing but sheer hatred for him and his mother alike shining in her golden gaze. But just before she could get her hands on him, Garnet came to his rescue once again.
She rose up from the ground behind him, gauntlets ready to attack. Jasper was just as prepared as she eagerly summoned her own weapon: a study battle helmet. Garnet’s fists slammed squarely into it, knocking both Gems back. Still, Garnet stayed steady as she offered Steven one final, desperate warning, “Steven, run !”
Steven only just managed to pick himself up off the ground when the twins made it back over to him. They hovered close, especially when they noticed he was still trembling with untold fear. “Steven, are you ok?” Mabel asked as she quickly checked him over.
“Y-yeah,” Steven lied as he weakly nodded. “I-I-” He cut himself off with a gasp when he watched Garnet rushing for Jasper once more. She simply smirked as something bright flashed into his hand–though none of the kids could really make out what it was. Still, based on the way both Lapis and Peridot fearfully backed away the moment they saw it, they could tell it wasn’t anything good.
Garnet barely paid it any mind, however, as she pounced at Jasper, her fists raised to meet her rapid approach, But in the end, they never hit her. Instead, Jasper struck her with a blow so sudden that not even her future vision could have ever seen it coming.
It hit her squarely in the chest, spreading electrifying lines across her entire body as she froze stiff in shock. Just a few feet behind her, the kids could only watch, shaken, as those lines thickened, until they began to slice her limbs clean off. Somewhere in the distance, Pearl and Amethyst cried out in horrified alarm, but they barely heard them. All they could hear instead was the sickening buzz of the deadly energy all too quickly tearing Garnet apart. She fell back toward them, her shades sliding off as anguish filled all three of her eyes. But in the end, she didn’t even have time to tell them she was sorry before–
Before she fell to pieces before their very eyes.
There was nothing left in the flash that took her form along with it. Nothing other than the pair of gemstones that usually rested in her palms as they fell flat into the dirt, one red, the other blue. For one silent, sorrowful moment, the kids simply stared at them as the realization sunk in that Garnet was gone .
And if Garnet was gone, it would only be a matter of time before the rest of them followed.
Dipper was the first to find his voice again, tight and terrified as it was when he said, “O-ok, that… that was seriously messed up!”
“S-Steven, is… is Garnet going to be…” Mabel trailed off, unable to even finish asking the question.
Steven had no answer for it anyway. Instead, he kept on staring at Garnet’s gemstones, desperate for her comforting presence and steadfast protection more than anything else in the world right now. What he got instead was the very Gem who had so viciously taken her out.
“I was there, you know,” Jasper all but ignored the twins as she bridged the gap towards Steven. “At the first war for this garbage planet. I fought against your armies, respected your tactics. But this?!” She grabbed Steven by the shirt, roughly lifting him up to her level. “This is sick !”
“Unhand him!” Pearl demanded, rushing forward with Amethyst at her side.
“Steven!” Likewise, Dipper and Mabel reached for him, even as Jasper kept him high out their reach.
“I don’t get what you’re planning, Rose,” Jasper hissed as Steven weakly struggled against her unyielding hold. “But look! Your base is taken. Your armies are ruined! You have failed!”
With this, Jasper let her helmet disappear. She didn’t need it as she rammed her head straight into Steven’s, knocking him out cold. “And now…” she smugly smirked as Steven fell, limp and unconscious, in her grasp. “You’re my prisoner.”
“No!” Jasper glanced up to find Pearl and Amethyst launching themselves at her. And yet, before they could land a single hit, they froze midair, held aloft by the pale green tractor beam Peridot was projecting.
“Ugh, Crystal Nuisances,” she growled up at them.
“Make sure you pick these two up too,” Jasper nodded back to Garnet’s gemstones. “Looks like we’ll be going home with a whole ship full of traitors.”
With that, she slung Steven over her shoulder, showing little care for her helpless captive as she began to head back to the ship. Only to stop short when a rock, of all things, struck her squarely in the back of the head. “ What-”
“Let him go!” Dipper demanded as he raised another rock high. Mabel held up a similar handful of stones, prepared to let her ammunition fly–whatever it took to save Steven before it was too late.
Jasper let out a disgusted groan as she turned around to face them. “Tch, humans …”
“N-no!” Lapis flung herself forward. She might not have been able to save Steven, but she wasn’t about to let Dipper–or Mabel for that matter–meet the safe fate. “No! Leave them alone! They’re not-”
She didn’t get far before Peridot’s tractor beam stopped her, just as it had with Pearl and Amethyst. “Can you hurry it up already? I’m running out of limb enhancers here!”
Jasper ignored her as she approached the twins, letting out a haughty scoff as she looked between the two of them. “Figures Rose would keep a bunch of pathetic organics like you around. But the fact that you two would defend her, even after everything she’s done? Hmph, I guess you humans really are as dumb as you look.”
“H-his name is Steven ,” Mabel corrected. Her hand shook as she readied another stone, though she didn’t dare throw it, not when Jasper was this dangerously close. “And he didn’t do anything! So put him down!”
“Oh, really?” Jasper let Steven slip off her shoulder. As he fell into the grass behind her, the twins tried to lunge for him, only for Jasper to stop them in their tracks. She grabbed Dipper by the arm and Mabel by the leg, yanking them high into the air as her crushing grip bruised them both. “You two really think Rose Quartz did nothing ? Maybe I ought to remind you that she ‘saved’ this measly hunk of rock you call home. Oh, but of course , you humans wouldn’t be able to forget about that, would you? But what you don’t know is that Rose didn’t save the Earth; she doomed it. She doomed you !”
“W-what do you-” Dipper didn’t get a chance to finish asking. Without warning, Jasper flung them both away, straight into the rocks surrounding the temple. They hit the stones hard, enough to knock the wind out of them as they fell to the ground, dazed and disoriented.
Jasper simply scoffed as she watched them struggle so much as pick themselves up off the ground. “You know what?” She grabbed Steven again, to take him even further out of their reach–and there wasn’t a thing they could do to stop her. “If you still care so much about defending her, then you both deserve to die along with this ruined waste of a planet. Just like Rose here will the minute the Diamonds get their hands on her…”
With that, she turned her back on the injured twins, heading back to the ship with Steven in tow. Peridot followed, carrying Pearl, Amethyst, and even Lapis along after her. Mabel only barely saw it before her swimming head finally overwhelmed her as she slipped out of it completely. But Dipper was still just awake enough to watch as Lapis was dragged into the ship first.
“N-no…” he groaned, holding a shaking hand out in protest. “L-Lapis… S-Steven… Mabel, we… w-we have to-” He tried to push himself up, to do something, anything to stop this. But in the end, Dipper found he could do nothing as his body punished him for the effort by painfully pulling him right back down into the dirt. Tears were only beginning to fill his eyes as he looked up and caught one final glimpse of Steven as Jasper threw him onto the ship. The last glimpse of Steven he’d ever get to see before it all went black.
The hand came down far too fast for anyone to hope to stop it.
And it took far too much with it when it left.
Notes:
Next time... It's time for a jailbreak.
Chapter 32: Jailbreak
Summary:
As the hand ship prepraes to leave Earth behind, Dipper and Mabel resolve to save Steven and the Gems, no matter what it might take.
Notes:
Golly, I always loved this chapter in old UF and I think it got a pretty good glowup here! It really does set all of the next arc of the story in motion (Sock Opera, anyone?) in such a dramatic way! With all that in mind, I won't keep you from it any longer than I already have, so let's get going and enjoy a lovely tune from Garnet along the way!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
XUSL EGJ SRCTAORV
N TXXFVPX WAEK
GLX YOET SY ZHVVV EUVV
EMGMS JGVHTG KUVHAGY TEKTEK
There were only three things Mabel could feel when she slowly started to wake up. The first was pain, pounding through her head, lancing across her back, eating away at her ankle most of all. The second was her brother, half on top of her, half pinned underneath her, and every bit as out of it as she still felt. The third was the air, thick and heavy, as if a storm was still surging, stirred by raging winds and the distant rumble of something she couldn’t quite place.
The rumble of an unearthly engine roaring to life.
That sound alone was enough to startle Mabel awake. She darted upright, ignoring the dizziness that struck her as her mind raced to fill in the gaps. It didn’t take her long to remember what was happening when she glanced back to find it, still looming so close, yet so very far.
“The ship!” she scrambled to her feet, wincing against the sting of protest in her ankle when she put weight on it. Amazingly, the hand hadn’t left yet, but if the whirl of its engines was any indication, it wouldn’t be here for much longer. And neither would any of the captives that had been dragged onto it. Unless…
Unless someone found a way to save them first.
“Dipper!” Mabel wasted no time trying to rouse her brother. She noticed the sizable bruise forming on his wrist, one that matched the bruise on her ankle–right in the same spots Jasper had grabbed them both. Hopefully, Steven would be able to heal them both up later–if he wasn’t dragged off to Homeworld first.
“Dipper, come on!” Mabel resorted to shaking him by the shoulders when he didn’t stir right away. “That freaky hand ship is about to leave and Steven is on it! We gotta stop it somehow, or we’ll never see him or the Gems or Lapis again!”
“Lapis…?” Dipper muttered as he slowly started opening his eyes.
“Yeah!” Mabel insisted. “And Steven and the Gems too! Peridot and that big mean cheese puff are about to take them into space, which means we have to-”
“Space?” Dipper blinked, finally gathering his bearings. He only fully woke up when he caught sight of the hand ship, slowly starting to drift away from the ground beneath it. “Oh my gosh, the ship!” he pushed himself up, his eyes wide with alarm. “Mabel, we have to stop-”
“I know!” Mabel grabbed him by the arm to pull him to his feet. “But how? We’ll never reach it in time!”
“We…. uh… w-we should…” Dipper trailed off as he raced to come up with an idea. By now, the ship was already steadily hovering, rotating to face the stars it was all but set to return to. And if it did, then there was almost no chance it would ever come back. They’d never see Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, or Lapis ever again. They’d all be left to some dark, unknown fate on a planet that almost definitely wanted them all dead.
They couldn't let that happen; there was no other option. They had to stop that ship, or at the very least catch up with it, no matter what it took. The only problem was, they had no idea how .
But fortunately, Lion did. He caught them both off guard as he ran over to them, all but scooping them both onto his back as he only continued racing forward from there. Dipper and Mabel barely had enough time to hold on as Lion roared a portal to life and plunged straight into it. They emerged on top of the temple cliff, just as the hand ship was rising up toward it. For one brief, terrifying moment, the ship was almost entirely on their level, almost close enough that they felt like they could touch it.
But all too quickly, it drifted out of their reach. And the further it began to slip away, so too was any chance they had at saving Steven and the Gems.
“It’s about to leave!” Mabel shouted over the din of the engines. “Dipper, we have to do something!”
“I’m working on it!” Dipper tried nudging Lion in the side to get him going again. Instead, he stayed standing still on the very edge of the cliff, staring sharply up at the hand ship, but hardly making any move to stop it. “Ugh, come on , Lion!” Dipper snapped, frustrated. “Jump onto it or roar at it or do something to help us reach that thing! You can’t just go back to being as stubborn as you usually are now !”
“Wait,” Mabel grabbed him by the shoulder as a sudden idea struck her. “Maybe we don’t need Lion for this after all. Not as long as we’ve got… the grappling hook!”
She grinned as she pulled it out of her sweater, only to find her brother sending her a doubtful look. “Mabel, how is that thing supposed to-”
“There’s no time to explain,” Mabel cut him off, nodding back to the ship. Sure enough, it was rising ever higher; in no time at all, it’d be gone. “You just need to trust me on this one. You do, don’t you, Dipper?”
Dipper hesitated, but only for a moment. With the ship only seconds away from leaving Earth forever–with Steven and the Gems in tow–it wasn’t as if they had too many other options right now. But even if they had, Dipper knew they wouldn’t have needed them. Because when push came to shove, he knew he could rely on Mabel and whatever trick she had up her sleeve, no matter how outlandish it might be. Which was why he barely had to think twice as he took the hand his sister was offering him and said, “With my life.”
“Great,” Mabel said with a daring, almost manic grin. “Then let’s do this crazy thing!”
Without skipping a beat, she took aim straight at the hand ship. Dipper had no idea how she spotted it–a barely-visible chink in the hand ship’s otherwise smooth hull, probably caused by the Light Canons or one of Opal’s arrows. Still, it was just enough of an opening–exactly what they needed to latch onto and slip inside. Mabel steadied her shaking hands, knowing she’d only have one shot at this, a shot none of them could afford to miss.
And by a miracle, or something else entirely, she didn’t.
The hook struck its mark, its claws digging deep into the edges of the hole. On the other end of the line, Mabel tightened her hold as Dipper clung onto her–and not a moment too soon. Without warning, the ship shot upward, taking both of the twins right along with it. As it soared through the air, they were both left dangling after it by a thread, holding on for dear life as the roar of the engines drowned out their frightened screams. Somewhere in the chaos, Dipper made the mistake of glancing down just in time to see his hat fly off his head and into the now-distant sea of trees below. The very same fate they both might meet if they were anything other than insanely lucky.
With the winds whipping all around them, it was a struggle to move much at all, but somehow, Mabel forced her hand to work just enough to pry her finger off the grappling hook’s trigger. Even against such incredible force, the hearty little tool did what it was supposed to. It coiled the twins back toward the hook–and the ship, mere seconds before it left the Earth’s atmosphere. They found themselves tossed straight into the crack in the hull, and into the ship itself, without a second to spare.
The easy part was over; they were in. Which meant that the hardest part was about to begin.
“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah…”
A song was the first thing Steven heard when he woke up, his heart hammering in his chest and a gasp slipping out of his mouth. His left eye twitched when he tried opening it, his vision blurred a bit as he skimmed a hand against the blackened, bruised skin surrounding it. The rest of his head didn’t feel much better, and he nursed a hand against it as he forced himself to sit up to find–
Dark green walls and a thin, shimmering sheet of yellow surrounding him. A cell, he quickly realized. A jail cell on board the hand ship, which Jasper no doubt tossed him into right after she knocked him out.
The recollection hit Steven like waves, each more worrying than the last. But as distressing as their first–and last–encounter with Jasper had been, it was what he couldn’t remember, what he wasn’t even awake for, that worried him even more. Especially when he finally realized–
He was in here all alone .
“Amethyst?! Pearl!?” He called out before he could think better of it. A sudden spark of fear struck him as he caught sight of countless other cells lining the hall beyond his, a kind of guilt-driven dread that drove him to wonder aloud, “D-Dipper? Mabel?”
He got no answer from any of them; he wasn’t sure if he should be relieved about that or not. Certainly, Jasper and Peridot wouldn’t have only captured him, would they? As much as he wished that was the case, he had a feeling the Gems weren’t so lucky. Especially not–
“Garnet!” Steven gasped at the memory of two gemstones, landing only feet apart from each other. At the memory of Garnet being violently torn to pieces only a few feet in front of him. At the memory of the Crystal Gems losing their most important battle yet.
“Where are they?!” He forced himself to his feet as he ran to the far edge of his cell. The strange yellow wall softly buzzed with energy–electricity, if Steven could guess. The only other sound he could hear beyond that was steady, almost frantic pounding against a wall somewhere in the distance. Just another mystery to solve on top of so many others.
Steven hesitated as he reached his hand out to the electrified wall. To his surprise, he was only met with a sudden, painless jolt when he skimmed his fingers against it. Even more surprising yet, when he tried touching it again, his hand clipped clean through it, as if it were nothing more than a wall of water. “Ew…” Steven couldn’t help but grin when he noticed the golden current running across his hand, illuminating his veins. That current only spread as he pushed his hand even further into the strange force field, sending even more waves of warm, peculiar energy pulsing through his body. “Cool!”
His next idea was a bit risky, but Steven figured it was worth a try. Anything was better than sitting around inside a cell, unable to do anything other than anxiously await his fate, after all. And so, he pushed the rest of his body through the barrier, shuddering against the strange current until, just as quickly as it had started, it was gone.
“Oh!” Steven glanced back at the unphased wall of energy–and the now-empty cell–behind him. “I’m out! Now,” he wasted no time focusing on the hallway ahead of him as he began to rush through it. “Where is everybody? Gotta find them, gotta find them, gotta find-”
In his haste, he’d nearly missed her. Still, Steven stopped short when he spotted another occupied cell. The only problem was, the Gem inside of that cell… wasn’t one he recognized.
She was surprisingly small, barely about his size, if he could guess. She sat hunched against the wall, her red arms hiding her face from view to the point that all he could really see of her was her short, squarish, burgundy hair. Steven couldn’t help but frown, worried, when he heard her let out a low, distressed groan. If she was a prisoner here too, captured by the likes of Jasper and Peridot, then that meant she couldn’t be as bad as they were… right?
“Uh, hello?” he took a small step closer to her cell. “Are… are you ok?”
The Gem bolted upright, her eyes wide with alarm. Only now could Steven see her simple outfit and the scarlet gemstone resting in the center of her left palm. “Ugh!” Rage suddenly overtook her features as she slammed a heavy fist into the wall next to her. “Great! This is just perfect!”
Steven glanced around, unsure of what she meant. “Uh… do you need any help?”
“No!” the Gem snapped. “I-I mean—I–You shouldn’t—Augh! Don’t look at me! Just–just go away!” With that, she curled in on herself, turning away from Steven. Unsure of what else to do, he turned to move on, until she suddenly stopped him short. “Hey, wait!” She sat upright as soon as the realization struck her. “You’re out! How did you get past the field?”
“Oh, I just kind of…” Steven reached his hand toward the wall of energy between them, much to the red Gem’s chagrin.
“Wait! No, no, no–you-” She cut herself off, shocked, as she watched Steven’s hand go straight through it. “It’s… ok?” Confused, she attempted to do the same, only to harshly yank her hand back when the field gave her painful zap. “Aught! What’s going on…?”
“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah…”
“Someone’s singing…” Steven frowned at the sound of the distant voice, the same one he’d first woken up to. The red Gem, on the other hand, turned frantic the second she heard that haunting tune.
“Sapphire…” she whispered. She turned to Steven, distraught as she pleaded with him. “Let me out of here! Please! Sapphire needs me!”
“Sapphire? Is she your friend?” Steven asked. “I’m looking for my friends too-”
“She’s all alone!” the red Gem implored, truly desperate. “I have to find her!”
“Don’t worry,” Steven assured, smiling. “We’ll find our friends-” Without skipping a beat, he stepped into the barrier, using his body to create a gap wide enough for the red Gem to slip through. “A-and we’ll do it t-together!” He shuddered, still grinning, even against the energy tingling just beneath his skin. An odd sensation to be sure, but it was more than worth it to save a newfound friend.
The red Gem quickly made her escape, sliding under his arms and out of the cell. She didn’t stop there, bolting down the hall to the point that Steven had to sprint to catch up with her. By the time he caught up with her, he was struggling to catch his breath, but he still did when the Gem held a hand up to silence him.
“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah…”
“Looks like the coast is clear,” she noted as her brow knitted into a scowl. “Come on!”
“Wait!” Steven stopped her short.
The Gem barely stifled an impatient groan. “What now ?”
Despite this, Steven still wore a friendly smile as he extended a hand out for her to shake. “My name’s Steven. What’s yours?”
The Gem’s stern expression finally softened as she stared at Steven’s hand. She didn’t take it as she almost meekly answered, “Ruby.”
Steven’s smile brightened a bit, even as he put his hand down. “It’s nice to meet you, Ruby.”
Ruby simply, gruffly nodded as she hurried on ahead. Steven followed after her, still perplexed by her to the point that he couldn’t help but pose plenty of questions, even as Sapphire’s song continued ringing through the ship’s winding halls. “So, were you and Sapphire caught by Jasper and Peridot too? What did you do to-”
“Quiet!” Ruby cut him off as she clutched the sides of her head. “Ugh! I can’t see!”
“Ah-ah-ah-ah, ahhhh-ah-ah-ah…”
Ruby swiftly looked up, quickly realizing the song alone was all she had to go off of. If only it didn’t seem to be echoing from everywhere all at once. “This way!” she chose a path nonetheless. Steven trailed along, keeping an eye out for Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl–and even Dipper and Mabel, along the way. What he found were plenty of empty prison cells instead.
“How many more Gems are trapped here?” Steven wondered with a frown. He wasn’t all too surprised to find that Ruby was apparently every bit as clueless on that front as he was.
“Don’t know, don’t care,” she succinctly replied. She slid to a sudden stop, however, the second the green halls around them fell abruptly, startlingly silent. “She stopped singing,” Ruby muttered, shaken. “Sapphire!”
Though she pressed on, Steven found himself stopping as they passed by a wide window–the first he’d seen on the ship so far. On the other side of that window was space , an inky expanse flooded with glittering stars. He was relieved to recognize Earth, looming large beneath the ship as it hovered just above its atmosphere. So close and yet so painfully far.
He had to get back to it. All of them did. Going anywhere else, especially to the distant, dangerous Homeworld, was unthinkable. Which was why Steven didn’t even let such troubling thoughts distract him. Instead, he continued on his way, determined to get himself and his friends–humans and Gems alike–all back to where he knew they belonged.
Back to the world they all truly called home.
After such a harrowing break-in, Dipper and Mabel decided to give themselves a much-needed moment to catch their breath. They wisely put some distance between themselves and the hole they’d snuck in through, especially when it became a vacuum the second the ship slipped past the stratosphere. As soon as they were sure the coast was clear, they took to a nearby nook, leaning against the wall and each other as it slowly started to dawn on them exactly what they’d done… and where they were.
“Oh my gosh,” Dipper said as soon as he got enough air back to speak. He stared down at the green metal floor beneath them, the floor of the hand ship as it shot straight out of the Earth’s atmosphere and into space. “We really just did that.”
“Heck yeah we did!” Mabel, on the other hand, was ecstatic. The adrenaline of it all still clung to her as she hopped to her feet, dragging her frozen brother up along with her. “And it was awesome !”
“I can’t believe we just did that,” Dipper stiffly reiterated. His voice hitched with panic as he swiftly unraveled, as the insanity of it struck him all at once. “I can’t believe we just did that! What were we thinking ?! We could have died –we still might die if Peridot or Jasper catches us! W-what are we even doing here?! How are we supposed to save Steven or the Gems or even ourselves now that we’re-”
“Whoa, slow-slow, bro-bro,” Mabel grabbed him by the shoulders before he could spiral too far. It wasn’t lost on her, just how wide his eyes were or just how much he was trembling. Only now did she realize she was trembling too. “L-let’s try to reel it back in, ok?” she encouraged, both to him, and to herself. “For starters, we’re totally not dead, and we’ve already made it this far! There’s no turning back now–mostly ‘cause we can’t , but also ‘cause we gotta rescue everyone! We’re the only ones who can!”
Despite his nerves, Dipper knew he couldn’t really argue with any of that. “You’re right,” he said with a steadying sigh. “Steven and the others are counting on us. But if we’re going to do this, then we need to be careful . The last thing we need is to get caught and tossed out into the cold depths of space, which–oh my gosh– ” An all new wave of stress struck him as another startling realization soaked in. “That’s where we are right now–this is crazy and stupid and we’re totally gonna die- ”
“Ah, ah, ah,” Mabel wagged a finger at him. “No dying, at least not yet anyway–I mean, we will die eventually , everyone does someday, but-”
“Not helping, Mabel!”
“Right, sorry. We should get going,” she grabbed him by the arm to drag him along after her. “We’ve got some Gems to jailbreak!”
A lone glance out into the hallway told them both that was a job that would be much easier said than done. Long, narrow corridors stretched out in either direction, with no signs of anyone–friend or foe–in sight. Still, they chose a direction, hoping that it would somehow lead them to who they were looking for–and as far away from who they were trying to avoid as possible.
“So, what do you think these guys wanna do with Steven and the Gems anyway?” Mabel asked as they pressed on ahead.
“Well, you heard what Jasper said,” Dipper said, frowning. “She wants to haul Steven off to Homeworld and show him to ‘Yellow Diamond’, whoever that is.”
“You think she’s bad news?”
“Seeing as how pretty much anything connected to Homeworld is bad news, I’d say so.”
“Well, it's a good thing we’re here to save the day,” Mabel concluded, forcing a confident smile onto her face. “I wonder if–after we save them and everything–the Gems will be so impressed that they’ll officially name us honorary Crystal Gems! If they do, then I’m totally changing my name to Mabelite, oh, or maybe Mabelstone, or- ”
“Stop talking,” Dipper cut her off as he suddenly stopped short.
“Uh, rude!”
“No, I’m serious. Do you hear that?”
It took Mabel a moment to catch it, but once she did, it was undeniable: the sound of a soft, almost eerie melody gently ringing through the halls.
“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhh, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhh…”
“Oo, pretty,” Mabel smiled. “Who do you think that could be? One of the Gems? They do love to sing, after all.”
“It doesn’t really sound like any of them,” Dipper shook his head. “And I doubt it’s Jasper or Peridot either; call me crazy, but they don’t really peg me as the type to burst into song.”
“What about Lapis?”
That was enough to make Dipper pause as he listened to the strange tune again. As much as he didn’t like to admit it, that wasn’t the voice he’d gotten so used to hearing over the past several days. A voice–and a Gem–he sincerely hoped he’d get to see and hear again soon. “It’s not her either.”
“Well, why don’t we follow it to see who it really is?” Mabel suggested. “It might be someone who could help us find Steven and the others!”
“Yeah, or it could be another Homeworld Gem who wouldn’t waste any time getting rid of us,” Dipper dryly pointed out.
“I guess there’s only one way to find out,” Mabel shrugged as she trudged on ahead. Dipper had no choice to follow her and her plan, even if it wasn’t much of one. Still, if nothing else, it was a clear direction to go one, one that led them ever deeper into the ship. It didn’t take long for them to get close to the source of the song, to the point that they were practically right on top of it as it echoed, loud and clear, through the air. Unfortunately, they quickly found that someone had already beaten them to it.
“Hide!” Dipper warned in a harsh whisper the second he heard footsteps thundering down the adjacent hall. He pulled both himself and Mabel just out of sight, right before Peridot and Jasper could pass them by. Miraculously, they didn’t see them, if only because they were already caught up in an argument of their own.
“But we can’t leave yet!” Peridot protested as she trailed after Jasper. “The whole point of coming here was to check on the Cluster!”
For her part, Jasper ignored her in favor of one of the surrounding cells. She slammed her fist into the wall beside it, abruptly silencing the song altogether. “Stop singing!” she ordered before she harshly turned to Peridot next. “Rose Quartz takes priority, above everything else!”
“B-but… but I also picked up on some strange energy spike, originating somewhere close to where we landed!” Peridot countered, adamant. “It was more powerful than anything our sensors have ever found on Earth before! We need to go find it, to investigate it and see if it can be an asset to our Diamo-”
“I don’t care!” Jasper growled, more than fiercely enough to get Peridot to shy back. “I’m in charge of this mission, remember? Not you. Now, get back to the bridge and set a course for Homeworld!”
With that, Jasper stormed off, leaving Peridot to largely do the same as she grumbled sullenly to herself. “‘Go to Earth,’ they said. ‘It’ll be easy ,’ they said…”
Only after they were sure the pair was well out of earshot, Dipper and Mabel shared a sigh of relief. “Yikes!” Mabel glanced out of their hiding spot first. “That was way too close.”
“Tell me about it,” Dipper agreed, still leaning against the wall. “I didn’t like the sound of that ‘energy spike’ Peridot mentioned. What do you think it could be-”
“Who cares?!” Mabel interrupted. A wide smile filled her face as she looked further down the hall to find a surprising, exciting sight. “Look!”
Dipper quickly found what she was pointing at, trapped within the only occupied cell among many others. A Gem–one neither of them had ever seen before–stood behind a field of electric energy. She was surprisingly elegant, with long hair covering much of her face and a ball gown cascading around her petite form. Her gemstone sat upon her right palm, every bit as blue as the rest of her was as she folded her hands and raised her voice in the same hauntingly beautiful song they’d been hearing since they boarded the ship.
“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhh, ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhh…”
“Who is that?” Dipper asked, not daring to slip out of hiding just yet.
Mabel, meanwhile, was nowhere near as concerned as she enthusiastically exclaimed, “I don’t know, but she’s so pretty! We should go over and say hi!”
“What? No, we shouldn’t!” Dipper pulled her back just in time. “Mabel, we can’t just run up to some strange Gem we don’t know and expect her to be friendly.”
“Says the same guy who spent the past week becoming besties with some ‘strange Gem’ he barely knew,” Mabel bluntly pointed out.
“Lapis is totally different!” Dipper argued. “What if that Gem isn’t like her, or Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl? What if she’s on Peridot and Jasper’s side?”
“Yeah, it sure sounded like she was on their side when Jasper was screaming at her just a minute ago. Besides, why would she even be locked up like that if she was one of them?”
“Fine, I’ll give you that. But she’s not who we’re looking for. We have to find Steven, Lapis, and the Gems as soon as possible. We don’t have time for any random side quests.”
“Aw, but she’s just one Gem, Dipper!” Mabel pleaded. “It’ll only take a second to get her out of there. And she might even know where the others are!”
“I doubt it,” Dipper scoffed, unmoved.”We’re not saving her, Mabel. That’s final.”
“Uh, yeah we are.”
“No, we’re not .”
“Yes, we are !”
“No, we’re-”
“You both know I can hear you, right?”
The twins froze, startled. Hesitantly, they peeked out of their hiding spot to find the Gem staring straight at them. There was no hiding anymore, something that Mabel was more than ready to revel in as she hurried over to greet her.
“Hi! I love your song! And your dress! And your hair! Are you some kind of Gem princess?”
“No,” the Gem replied as both of the twins approached her cell. She looked between them, shaking her head as she let out an almost disappointed sigh. “You two aren’t supposed to be here… And to be honest, I’d hoped that you wouldn’t come, but… I suppose it was inevitable.”
“Um, what do you mean?” Dipper asked, eyeing her warily.
“It’s… complicated,” the Gem frowned. “But don’t worry. Everything will become clear soon, Dipper.”
“Wha–H-how did you know my name?” Dipper flinched, surprised.
“She probably heard me say it when we were arguing, dummy,” Mabel elbowed him in the gut. Her smile brightened as she turned back to the blue Gem. “But if you wanna hear mine again, it’s Mabel! What’s yours?”
The Gem finally managed a tiny smile as she pulled off a truly graceful curtsey. “I’m Sapphire.”
“Oh my gosh! How’d you know I was hoping you’d do a super fancy curtsey?” Mabel practically squealed with delight.
“It was a… lucky guess.”
“Yeah, well, it was, uh, nice meeting you,” Dipper cut in as he began shoving Mabe away from the cell. “But we really should get going. We have people to find, places to be, you know how it is. So, we’ll just, see you around and-”
“Wait!” Sapphire called after them. “I need you to let me out of here, please. I have to find another Gem who’s trapped on this ship. Her name is Ruby.”
“Oo, two new Gems in one day!” Mabel headed back over to the cell, intrigued. “Well, three, actually, if you count Jasper, but she’s kind of a jerk, so we won’t. So, this Ruby–she’s a friend of yours?”
Sapphire simply sighed as she stared down at her palm–not the one that bore her gemstone, but her other one, completely bare. “She’s… a bit more than that. Much more…”
“Well then, we’d better get you outta there so we can help you find her!” Mabel enthusiastically offered.
While Dipper already wasn’t keen on helping, he was even less so when he watched his sister reach a hand toward the glowing energy field keeping Sapphire trapped. “Mabel, wait! Don’t touch-”
“Whoa!” Mabel gasped as her hand passed straight through the barrier, as if it wasn’t even there at all. Sapphire took a step back, just as surprised, though she made no effort to touch the field for herself. “This is so cool!” Mabel grinned as she slid her hand in and out of it. “Have I somehow gained the power to walk through walls!?”
“Sorry to burst your bubble, Mabel, but no,” Dipper pushed his own hand through the barrier just as easily as she had. “This… doesn’t seem like it's a super effective prison cell if you can just walk right through it.”
“Oh!” Sapphire exclaimed in newfound realization. “ That explains it. This energy field destabilizes the physical form of Gems , but it can’t detect humans at all.”
“Awesome!” Mabel cheered. “Humans–1, Homeworld Gems–0! Now, how do we bust you out of here?”
“There should be a panel on the wall that disables it,” Sapphire explained, nodding over to it.
“Hold it,” Dipper grabbed Mabel’s arm as she began to reach for it. He shot Sapphire another distrustful glance, one that she met squarely, almost stoically even. “We’re not letting you out that easily. Not until you explain who you really are and why you’re locked up here in the first place.”
“I’m afraid there’s no time for that,” Sapphire shook her head. “Dipper, I know that you don’t believe you have any reason to trust me. But I can promise you that you won’t regret helping me, especially if you want to save Steven and the others.”
“H-how did you–” Dipper ultimately cut himself off with an annoyed groan. “Let me guess: it’ll ‘become clear soon’, won’t it?”
Sapphire simply nodded. And while that alone wouldn’t have convinced Dipper, the doleful, pleading look on his sister’s face unfortunately did. “Fine,” he grumbled as he let her wrist go. “Let’s just get this over with.”
“Yay!” Mabel blithely tapped the panel. In an instant, the energy field disappeared and Sapphire stepped out, offering them both a grateful smile.
“Thank you both,” she said as she turned her attention to the hallway ahead.
“You’re welcome!” Mabel returned, beaming.
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Dipper dismissively waved them on. “Can we get going now? Every minute we waste standing around here talking is another lightyear we get away from Earth, which–yeah, if I think about that any longer than I already have, it might just drive me crazy–”
“Crazi er ,” Mabel teased.
“You’re right,” Sapphire agreed with Dipper. “There’s not much time to waste. This way, hurry!”
With that, she took off down the hall, her dress billowing behind her. Mabel eagerly followed her lead, and Dipper found he had no choice but to do the same. After all, any ally, even one as mysterious as Sapphire, was a welcome sight like now. Still, only time would tell if their decision to help her would be a wise one or not once they made it out of here.
Only time would tell if they’d even make it out of here at all.
Ruby wasn’t much of a conversationalist. Steven quickly found that out when all of his questions were only met with terse nods or the briefest of answers. She was much more focused on her search for the elusive Sapphire; even without any signs of her in sight, she refused to rest until she was finally found. Steven could relate–as tired as he already was, he knew he couldn’t breathe easy until he knew his friends were all safe and sound.
After what felt like hours of searching, they finally found another occupied cell. Ruby stopped first, letting out a hopeful gasp–until she realized the Gem they’d stumbled upon wasn’t the one she was looking for.
“Oh, it’s just you…” she grumbled, disappointed. Steven, however, was the exact opposite when he saw her.
“Lapis!” he smiled as he hurried up to her cell.
“S-Steven?” Lapis glanced back at him. She sat alone, her arms loosely wrapped around herself and her face filled with dismay. Dismay that didn’t lift in the slightest even as Steven raised a hand to help her.
“Lapis, I can get you out-”
“Stop!” She warned, fearfully backing away from the barrier between them.
“No, it’s ok. I can-”
“No!” Lapis sternly insisted. “I don’t want your help! Things are bad enough as it is. I’ve already caused too much trouble. The only bright side in all this is that Dipper and Mabel are still safe back on Earth-”
“Wait, really?” Steven asked, overwhelmed with relief. Because if they were there, at least he could ease a little of his worries. At least he wouldn’t have to fear for their lives on top of his own.
Lapis nodded, sighing. “They are, but, you, Steven… I-I-” She choked up, suddenly unable to meet his gaze out of guilt. “I can’t do anything to help you now–no one can. Once we get to Homeworld, they’re going to decide what to do with us-”
“Augh!” Ruby suddenly shouted, frustrated. “I don’t have time for this!”
“Ruby, wait!” Steven called after her as she ran off. Before he could follow her, however, Lapis stopped him short.
“Steven, whatever you’re doing, just stop,” she pleaded with him. “If we do everything they say, then they might go easy on us.”
“But… but they’re mean!” Steven protested. “They hurt my friends! They hurt my face! They’ve got you here in prison!”
“That’s why we can’t fight them.”
“That’s why we have to fight them!”
“I already tried that, Steven!” Lapis bitterly argued. “I tried fighting back. I tried escaping them! I tried to prevent all of this from happening! And look at where it’s gotten me. I’m right back to where I started: trapped , just like I’ve always been. Just like I’ll always be…”
Steven could only watch as Lapis turned away from him, pulling her knees to her chest. He wasn’t getting anywhere with her, clearly, but he wasn’t going to give up on her that easily. Not as long as she was still one of his friends and not as long as she still needed his help. “I’ll come back for you, Lapis,” he assured as he turned to catch up with Ruby. Still, he glanced back at her to offer her one final, hopeful smile as he said, “I promise.”
Lapis only wished that was a promise she could believe. Still, as she sat alone there in her dark cell, she strangely found some small sense of solace. She couldn’t save herself now–she couldn’t escape the final fate that awaited her on Homeworld, not this time around. But at the very least, she’d made sure that was a fate Dipper wouldn’t share with her. At least she’d done all she could to shield him, to save him, to make sure he’d see a future, even if it wasn’t one she’d be a part of. And as long as he was safe, then Lapis couldn’t care less what Homeworld might do to her. Let them imprison her, crack her, even shatter her if they wanted to.
If that’s what it took to protect what mattered most, then she’d suffer as much as she had to. All for him. Only for him.
Sapphire was surprisingly fast . The twins had to nearly run to keep up with her as she weaved her way through the halls, almost as if she somehow knew where she was going. As suspicious as that made Dipper, Mabel was content to keep a conversation going. She posed plenty of curious questions to their intriguing new companion–even if she didn’t give her much of a chance to answer any of them.
“So, how did you get your hair to look so perfect? Do you have any other pretty ball gowns like that one that you’d be willing to lend out for a while? I know you said you aren’t a Gem princess, but do Gem princesses actually exist? And if so, do you know any? Do you think-”
“Ok, seriously, Mabel, cut it out already,” Dipper interrupted, annoyed. “We’re trying not to get caught, remember? If you keep this up, then Peridot or Jasper will hear you for sure!”
“Aw, but I can’t help it!” Mabel protested, pouting. “It’s not every day that we get to meet a new Gem, especially one who’s nice and friendly and doesn’t wanna kill us for a change!”
“…Well, I can’t really argue with you there…”
“I appreciate your enthusiasm, Mabel,” Sapphire finally spoke up, even though her sights were still set on the path ahead. “And I want you to know that you’ll have all of the answers you’re looking for soon.”
“All of them?” Dipper asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.
“Alright, well, most of them will be answered soon.”
“How soon?” Mabel asked, impatient.
“Very soon,” Sapphire glanced back at the pair. “In fact-”
“Sapphire!”
She stopped dead in her tracks as a sharp gasp slipped out. The twins exchanged a glance as this sudden call echoed through the halls around them. Based on Sapphire’s reaction alone, it didn’t take much for either of them to guess who it might be coming from.
“In fact, you’re about to find out right now,” Sapphire quickly took both of the twins by the arm. “Come on!”
Before either of them could so much as say a word, Sapphire took off again, dragging them along after her. This time, however, she ran much more rapidly, to the point that all three of them were gliding through the narrow corridors. When Sapphire finally came to stop at the entrance to an open atrium, the twins collapsed on either side of her, shaken by such a sudden, speedy trip.
“W-what was that?” Dipper shook his head to chase the lingering dizziness away.
“Totally awesome, that’s what!” Mabel exclaimed, grinning. “Can we do that again, Sapphire?”
Sapphire didn’t answer; instead, her focus was locked on the entrance far on the other side of the chamber. Or rather, on the red Gem who was about to step into it.
“There you are!” Steven heaved a sigh of relief as he finally reached Ruby. “Y-you were running so fast, I almost thought I wasn’t gonna-”
Ruby cut him off with a loud gasp the second she spotted the blue Gem, standing still so far from her, but in plain sight at last. “Sapphire!”
“Ruby!” Sapphire returned just as happily. Without wasting another second, the two Gems raced for each other, finally allowing the kids to see each other from across the room.
“Steven!” the twins called in relieved unison. Steven, on the other hand, stood stiff, shocked at the sight of them. Their names hung unsaid in his mouth even as he rushed forward to meet them in the middle. They slammed into each other in a messy hug, torn between laughter and near-tears on Dipper and Mabel’s part. And stunned, almost terrified silence on Steven’s.
“We’re so glad you’re ok!” Dipper’s smile only faded slightly when he noticed the dark bruise hanging heavy over Steven’s eye. “Well, mostly ok.”
Somehow, Steven finally found his voice again as he softly, shakenly asked, “W-what are you doing here?”
“We were worried about you!” Mabel earnestly exclaimed. “That’s why we snuck onto the ship–using my quick thinking and my grappling hook–to save you and the Gems! Oh, and Dipper helped a little, I guess.”
“Mabel…” Dipper shot her an aggravated glance.
Steven normally would have laughed, but he couldn’t even manage as much of a smile. Especially not when he noticed the scratches and bruises both of them had sustained in such a risky mission. Honestly, they were both so lucky that they hadn’t gotten so much worse in doing this, in trying to save him .
They were both so lucky that they hadn’t gotten themselves killed because of him.
“Y-you both did all of that…” he began, his brow knitted in worry. “For me?”
“Of course, we did,” Dipper warmly assured as he rested a hand on his shoulder. “We couldn’t just let them take you all the way back to Homeworld. We promised we were in this together, no matter what happened.”
“And nothing, not even an unplanned trip into outer space and a super high stakes jailbreak, is ever gonna change that!” Mabel boldly finished.
Both of the twins shared a bright, confident smile, one that even still, Steven found he couldn’t join in on. Not after all of the danger they’d had to face for him, all of the danger they were still so deeply in just by being here. Going back to face the hand ship with him had been one thing, but this? This was on a different, much more deadly level entirely. A level he’d never wanted either of them to be on, but here they were, standing right in front of him anyway.
And Steven knew he only had himself to blame for that.
And yet, all of the things he wanted to say to them, all of his gratitude and grief alike were ultimately left unsaid, as overwhelmed as he was. Instead, he only barely turned his attention to where the twins were looking as Dipper wondered aloud, “So, uh… what’s going on with… that?”
From the moment they’d reunited, Ruby and Sapphire clung onto each other, desperately and devoutly, as if they’d both found the lost piece of themselves they’d been looking for. That embrace didn’t break as their faces drew in close enough for them to whisper sweet nothings to each other.
“I hated being split up,” Ruby whined as she ran a hand through Sapphire’s hair. “It’s like torture…”
“Ruby…” Sapphire chuckled fondly. “We were only apart for a few hours.”
“Every second I’m away from you feels like years to me…” Ruby sighed as Sapphire’s fingers gently skimmed the side of her face.
This proved to be peculiar enough to break Steven out of his troubled thoughts. He exchanged a confused glance with Dipper as he asked, “Um… what’s going on?”
“Oooooh, my gosh,” Mabel let out a soft gasp of realization. “How do you guys not get it? Ruby and Sapphire are more than just friends–they’re a couple ! And a super adorable one too!”
“Huh?” The boys blanked, equally baffled. Still, there was plenty of evidence that was the case as the pair only nuzzled even closer, even going as far as sharing the chastest of kisses on the cheeks. It was a strange sight to see in the middle of a sinister war ship, of all places, but still, a warm and welcome one nonetheless.
Ruby and Sapphire stayed close as they finally parted, if only because they were so afraid they might be separated again if either of them drifted too far away. Ruby caressed Sapphire’s cheek, her brow knitted with concern as she looked her partner over. “Did they hurt you?”
“No, no, I’m ok,” she assured as she rested her hand on top of Ruby’s. “Did they hurt you ?”
“Who cares?!” Ruby laughed, tears filling her eyes.
“ I do!” Sapphire leaned forward to kiss those tears away. Those peppered kisses soon shifted when Ruby pressed her lips against Sapphire’s as she swept her off her feet. The pair only kept on laughing as Ruby spun Sapphire around in a joyful dance, one that shined even brighter as their gemstones began to glow in perfect harmony. The kids could only watch, dazzled, as the light of an emerging fusion enveloped them both, as two voices turned into one that they recognized every bit as much as the Gem they came together to form:
Garnet.
She was still laughing, delighted as she basked in the glow of her return. She looked different now, with more vibrant shades of magenta, blue, and violet filling her form. Her smile was as wide as any of the kids had ever seen it as they watched her land, far too shocked to speak, at least at first. In the meantime, Garnet was more than happy to instead.
“Steven! Dipper! Mabel!” she beamed, all three of her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Thank you!”
Steven was the first to collect himself, stars in his eyes as he stared at her with surprise, relief, and everything in between. “Garnet! You’re a fusion?!”
Garnet let out a small, awkward chuckle as she nodded. “Aw, sorry! We didn’t want you meeting us here like this.”
“No way!” Dipper exclaimed, beside himself with amazement. “How did we never figure out that you were a fusion this whole time?! Everything about you makes so much more sense now, like your three eyes, your two gems, why you’re so strong, and-”
“And the way you give such great fusion advice!” Mabel interrupted, delighted. “You’d know more about it than anyone, for sure. You’re a fusion-pro fusion!”
“ And ,” Dipper cut back in. “This explains how Sapphire already knew who we were! Oh, uh… Sorry for not really trusting her–or, uh, you? Whichever one of those applies here?”
“It’s alright, Dipper,” Garnet said, smirking. “You had your reasons for wanting to be careful. Still, I told you that you wouldn’t regret helping Sapphire.”
“Yeah,” Dipper rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m totally not regretting it now that we know the truth.”
“And the truth is so amazing!” Steven added, beaming. “So, um… did we make a good first impression? On Ruby and Sapphire, I mean?”
“Oh, Steven,” Garnet’s smile softened as she knelt to his level and rested a gentle hand on his head. “We already love you. All three of you.” She didn’t hesitate to pull Steven, Dipper, and Mabel all into a fond embrace, one that they were more than happy to return. Still, it didn’t last long as a fearsome, outraged shout soon sounded through the surrounding halls.
“Where is she?!”
“It’s Jasper,” Garnet rose to stand. Her tone turned stern and serious as she turned back to the kids. “You need to find the others and get to the control bridge.”
“But we don’t know where they are,” Steven shook his head. Garnet quickly fixed that by leaning forward and planting a soft kiss on his forehead. Steven gasped as he caught the briefest glimpse of Pearl and Amethyst, forlornly trapped in two cells right next to each other somewhere deeper in the ship. “Whoa! I just saw where they were! How’d you do that?”
“Future vision,” Garnet offered him a wry wink.
“Wait, what are you gonna do, Garnet?” Mabel wondered.
“Someone has to take care of Jasper,” Garnet cracked her knuckles for the fight ahead. “And I want to show her exactly what happens to anyone who tries splitting us up.”
“After what she did to you back on Earth?” Dipper asked, worried. “Are you sure you’ll be able to beat her on your own?”
“It’s ok,” Garnet assured with a resolved, ready grin. “I’m never alone.”
The kids couldn’t help but share her smile when they heard this. With both of her halves whole once again, there was no doubt. Garnet was more than able to overcome any challenge that stood in her way.
So they left her to do exactly that. Just in time too, for mere seconds after they ran off, Jasper rushed into the atrium to find that Garnet was more than ready for her.
“Oh great…” she growled, disgusted at the mere sight of the fusion standing before her. “You’re both out? And you’re fused again? Why? Fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak Gems stronger. Quit embarrassing yourselves! I’ve seen what you really are.”
Garnet simply chuckled, knowing the kind of truth that a Gem like Jasper could never understand. “No, you haven’t.”
With that, she did just about the last thing Jasper could have ever expected out of her. She began to sing.
“This is Garnet, back together-”
“And I’m never going down at the hands of the likes of you because I’m so much better.”
“And every part of me is saying ‘Go get her’.”
By now, the two Gems had slowly started circling each other, each waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. Even still, Garnet kept going, even as Jasper pulled out her destabilizer, ready to tear her apart all over again.
Only this time, Garnet wasn’t about to let her.
“The two of us ain’t gonna follow your rules-”
“Come at me without any of your fancy tools-”
“Let’s go, just me and you.”
Garnet smirked as she summoned her visor back over her eyes just as Jasper rushed forward to meet her challenge. Just as the battle finally began.
“Let’s go just one-on-two.”
Garnet moved swiftly, easily dodging the first punch Jasper sent her way as she sang, with both of her halves in nothing less than perfect harmony.
“Go ahead and try and hit me if you’re able-”
“Can’t you see that my relationship is stable.”
She easily flipped out of the way of the destabilizer each time Jasper lunged it at her. While her foe’s moves were fueled by rage and hatred, Garnet’s were fueled by something else entirely. Something that she knew would come out on top every single time.
“I can see you hate the way we intermingle-”
“But I think you’re just mad ‘cause you're single!”
When Jasper swung for her again, Garnet swept low enough to kick the destabilizer clean out of her hand. Without skipping a beat, she snapped the awful tool clean in half, ensuring it could never split her up again.
“And you’re not gonna stop what we made together-”
“We are gonna stay like this forever.”
“If you break us apart, we’ll just come back newer-”
“And we’ll always be twice the Gem that you are.”
Now that the playing field was finally even, Garnet summoned her gauntlets to finally start this fight in earnest. Jasper followed suit as she called upon her helmet, wasting no time in charging straight at her. Even so, Garnet was more than ready for her. Both of her halves were as they proudly proclaimed exactly what they were–and who Garnet truly was.
“I am made o-o-o-o-of lo-o-o-o-ove, oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhh–”
Even though their cells were right next to each other, Pearl and Amethyst sat in solemn silence, resigned to their no-doubt dark fate. That is, at least until rescue arrived from an unexpected source. The pair was already surprised enough to see Steven, out and free, but they were floored to find that Dipper and Mabel were with him. Still, there was no time to fret over them, or even thank them. Right now, they had to focus on getting back to Earth, in any way they could.
“Lo-o-o-o-ove–”
So, they heeded Garnet’s advice and made a beeline for the bridge. Of course, Peridot was already there, steering the ship back to Homeworld. She gasped, startled, as the unwelcome intruders arrived, and even if she was outnumbered, unfortunately, she wasn’t outgunned. She grabbed the nearest destabilizer, determined to stop this sudden revolt in its tracks–
Only for Steven to swiftly stop her first. He met the destabilizer with open hands, barely even flinching as its current coursed through him when he pried it out of Peridot’s hold. Dipper and Mabel were right behind him to trip her up when she stumbled back, leaving her open for Amethyst and Pearl to swoop in and subdue her.
“Lo-o-o-o-ove–”
“Don’t touch that!” Peridot snapped as Amethyst coiled her whip around her, planting her firmly to the floor. Pearl rushed past her to the control panel, more than ready to seize control of the ship right out from under her. “You clods don’t know what you’re doing!”
“Oh, we know exactly what we’re doing,” Mabel smirked down at her. “We’re beating you! Boom!”
“And what do you know?” Dipper added just as smugly. “Looks like we didn’t even need four arms and a magical journal to do it this time either, huh, Steven?”
“R-right,” Steven returned with a halfhearted smile. “I… I guess we didn’t…”
“Gah! You’ll all pay for this, you filthy traitors!” Peridot threatened, seething.
“Yeah, yeah, keep on yelling about your ‘revenge’ or whatever,” Amethyst rolled her eyes, unbothered “You got this, Pearl!”
“Okay, ship. Turn us around!” Pearl plunged her hands into the panel, shuddering as lines of unreadable code filled her eyes. Even so, she easily managed to tap into the ship’s navigation system, all while the kids kept an eye on one of the surrounding monitors. From there, they were able to watch a live feed of the atrium, where the brutal battle between Garnet and Jasper raged on.
“Lo-o-o-o-ove.”
Sure enough, Jasper had to be one of the most formidable foes Garnet had ever faced. But what she had in strength, she lacked in speed and skill, which Garnet had in spades. She easily outmaneuvered most of Jasper’s blows, while even landing a few of her own. She had a good momentum going, at least until Jasper caught her by the wrist. She threw Garnet down hard into the ground, but she only let herself stay down for the briefest of moments.
She regained her footing just in time too, to deflect Jasper as she charged at her again. Garnet struck her in the stomach, sending her flying up into the glass dome above them. Unphased, Jasper curled into an electrified ball of sheer energy, racing straight down at Garnet at an impossible speed. While she fended off the brunt of this attack with her gauntlets, it wasn’t enough to keep them both from crashing straight through the floor as it broke beneath them. They fell, still fighting all the while, through several layers of the ship until they finally landed at the heart of the vessel–the engine room. Their chaotic descent had left Garnet a little worse for wear, beaten, but unbroken as she stood strong and started singing again as the smoke cleared.
“This is who we are, this is who I am–”
“And if you think you can stop me, then you need to think again–”
“Because I am a feeling and I will never end–”
“And I won’t let you hurt my planet, and I won’t let you hurt my friends!”
All too quickly, Jasper was upon her again, angrier than ever. Garnet beat back most of her swings, though one nasty left hook plowed her into the ground. Still, Garnet smiled as she forced herself back up, ready to take as much as Jasper could dish out for as long as she had to. Because as long as they were together, she’d never stop fighting. And as long as they were together, then she knew she’d never lose.
“Go ahead and try and hit me if you’re able–”
“Can’t you see that my relationship is stable?”
“I know you think I’m not something you’re afraid of–”
“‘Cause you think that you’ve seen what I’m made of.”
Garnet launched a kick straight at Jasper’s head. She only barely dodged that, but she wasn’t quick enough to miss Garnet’s fists. They slammed into both sides of her helmet, shattering her visor and sending her stumbling back. An enraged roar cut through Garnet’s song as Jasper madly spun at her all over again, determined to finally take the frustrating fusion down.
“But I am even more than the two of them–”
“Everything they care about is what I am–”
“I am their fury, I am their patience–”
Relying on her future vision, Garnet saw the path Jasper was about to take. She caught her squarely by the helmet, meeting her furious surprise with a confident smirk.
“I am a conversation.”
And with that, Garnet launched Jasper over her head, straight into the very core of the ship.
“I am made o-o-o-o-of lo-o-o-o-ove, oh-o-o-o-oh.”
The second Jasper slammed into it, the engine exploded, sending shockwaves across the entire ship. Jasper and Garnet were both thrown back by it, abruptly bringing their bitter battle to an end. And it was more than clear which one of them had come out on top, despite the odds stacked against her. Garnet grinned as she hurried away from the failing engine, leaving Jasper behind so she could rejoin her team.
“L-o-o-o-o-ove-”
“And it’s stronger than you.”
Back on the bridge, Amethyst, Pearl, and the kids could barely keep their footing as the ship rattled violently around them. Amidst this chaos, Peridot managed to wriggle out from under Amethyst’s foot. Even if she was still wrapped up by the whip, she frantically squirmed across the floor until she found an unseen button, all but slamming her head into it. The Gems and the kids could only watch as a strange green orb formed around her–an escape pod, one that quickly launched itself out of the ship altogether as it flung back to Earth.
The very same place the now-flagging ship was rapidly hurtling toward.
“L-o-o-o-o-ove, o-o-o-o-of l-o-o-o-ove-”
“And it's stronger than you.”
When the bridge door slid open behind them, they were half-expecting and half-fearing Jasper would come barging in to make matters even worse. Nothing could compare to the relief they felt when they saw Garnet standing there instead.
“Garnet!” Pearl and Amethyst shouted first, relieved to see her back in one piece.
“This ship is going down!” she urgently announced what they were all afraid of.
“But what about Lapis?” Steven asked, worried.
“There’s no time!” Garnet insisted. And while Steven and Mabel knew they had no choice but to accept that, Dipper couldn’t .
“What? No!” He wasted no time trying to push Garnet so he could search for Lapis. “We can’t just leave her behind! We have to-”
“There’s no time,” Garnet sternly repeated, barring the door. “I’m sorry, Dipper, but it’s too dangerous.”
Dipper was more than ready to argue, but he didn’t get the chance. Without warning, the ship violently jolted as it re-entered Earth’s atmosphere, catching fire as it only continued to fall from there.
“L-o-o-o-o-ove, o-o-o-o-of l-o-o-o-ove–”
“And it's stronger than you.”
Even from her cell, Lapis could feel the ship shuddering all around her. She had no way of knowing what was really happening, but she could tell it wasn’t good. Not that it even mattered anyway. There was nothing she could do to stop it, to escape, to save herself. Nothing she could do other than sit and wait out whatever was about to unfold.
The hand ship plowed through the clouds above Gravity Falls, though there was scarcely a soul around left to see it. It ultimately came crashing down against the base of the cliff near the lake, already smoldering far before it even hit the ground.
“O-o-o-o-of l-o-o-o-ove, l-o-o-o-ove.”
And then, only seconds after its disastrous descent, the entire ship exploded.
The blast rattled the entire town, showering the lake shore with broken metal and blazing green fire. Between the wreckage, Lion weaved his way through the steaming shrapnel and scorched sand. It didn’t take him long to pick up on what he was looking for–the only other living things left on the shore after such a tremendous crash. He let out a powerful roar upon a pile of debris, blowing it back to reveal a shimmering pink bubble and six figures huddled close within it.
The minute they were free, Steven finally let his bubble fall with a tired sigh. “Nice one,” Garnet grinned down at him for his quick thinking. Thinking that had saved them all in the nick of time.
Steven returned her smile, though it soon turned into an excited gasp. “Oh my gosh! Garnet, I still can’t believe you’re a fusion all the time!”
“You guys met Ruby and Sapphire?” Amethyst asked, surprised.
“Heck yeah, we did!” Mabel exclaimed. “And they were adorable !”
“Thank you,” Garnet smirked as she adjusted her shades.
“Oh no!” Pearl frowned. “We were going to introduce you! Garnet, your plan!”
Garnet simply shrugged. “We were waiting for your birthday, Steven.”
“We can still do it!” Steven reassured. “I’ll just pretend I didn’t know! We can all act surprised!”
The Gems couldn’t help but share a warm laugh at this, one that the kids quickly joined in on. It was more than welcome too, after what they’d just been through. But when it ended, Garnet sobered up as she rested a firm hand on each of the twins’ shoulders. “Dipper, Mabel, what you two did was very dangerous.”
“I’ll say it was!” Pearl cut in. “Sneaking onto a highly advanced Homeworld ship mid-flight using a grappling hook of all things?! You could have been killed!”
“Yeah, you guys are totally nuts!” Amethyst added, just as stunned. “What if Jasper or Peridot had found you? They would have beaten you into squishy human pulps!”
Dipper didn’t hesitate to rush to his and Mabel’s defense. “But–we just wanted to-”
“ But ,” Garnet interrupted with a small, grateful smile. “I was also going to say that it was very brave too. You risked your lives to help all of us, even though you didn’t have to. And for that, we all owe you both our deepest thanks.”
Though they hesitated, Amethyst and Pearl ultimately nodded their agreement as they joined in on thanking the pair. Steven, however, said nothing. Instead, he forced his sights away from the twins, wanting to say so much to them, but not having the courage to get even a single word out. All of his mounting emotions were ultimately forced to the wayside once again, however, because as they all soon found out–
This disaster wasn’t over yet.
A hand suddenly shot up from a pile of rubble only a few feet away. The Gems and the kids watched, startled stiff, as Jasper shoved her way out of the wreckage, damaged and disheveled as she fell to her knees with a pained groan. And yet, even as defeated as she was, she still wore a hateful scowl, one that she didn’t hesitate to fix on Garnet first.
“Don’t think you’ve won…” she growled viciously. “You only beat me ‘cause you’re a fusion! If I had someone to fuse with, I’d-”
She stopped short as more of the debris shifted nearby. Yet another Gem emerged, shoving a sheet of metal off of herself before she collapsed to the ground, exhausted.
“Lapis!” Dipper called for her, relieved to see she’d survived. That relief would be short-lived though, especially after what happened next.
“D-Dipper?” Lapis glanced up at him, but only briefly. She caught Jasper approaching out of the corner of her eye, and didn’t hesitate to try and slip away. She only managed to get as far as summoning her wings and hopping off the ground before Jasper seized her by the ankle and dragged her back down.
“Come here, brat!” Jasper snarled, all but trapping Lapis in her unyielding grip. “Aw, don’t fly off so soon!”
“Hey! Let her go!” Steven’s cry was ignored. Instead, Jasper pulled Lapis even closer, only sneering as the other Gem tried pulling away from her in fear. Fear that only grew when Lapis heard exactly what Jasper wanted out of her.
“Lapis, listen! Fuse with me!”
“W-what?” Lapis stiffened, confused.
“How long did they keep you trapped here on this miserable hunk of rock?” Jasper sneered over at the Crystal Gems. “These Gems, they’re traitors to their Homeworld. And those humans aren’t much better. They kept you prisoner. They used you! This is your chance to take revenge!”
Only now did Jasper let Lapis fall to the ground at her feet. For her part, she didn’t bother looking at any of the Crystal Gems, but rather, at the kids. While Steven and Mabel met her gaze with terrified silence, Dipper stared at her with something else entirely. With the same sort of desperation that had been in his eyes the other night, when he’d begged her to stay, to fight, to stand by his side.
If only she still could.
“Come on.” She heard Jasper purr, her voice both leering gentle and dripping with malice all at once. “Just say yes .”
“Lapis, don’t do it!” Steven shouted as Amethyst barely managed to hold him back.
“Y-yeah! It’s not worth it!” Mabel added from her spot tucked behind Garnet’s leg.
Lapis barely heard either of them. Instead, she kept her sights solely set on Dipper. He said nothing, his eyes wide as they met hers, as he softly, soundlessly shook his head. She could already tell he didn’t want her to do this, that he wanted her to stay safe and free and with him. She wanted that too, more than she could bear for all of the countless decades she’d spent trapped and alone. She’d had no choice when it came to the mirror, but she had a choice now.
And she already knew what that choice had to be.
Jasper was ruthless, there was no question about that. She was the kind of Gem who didn’t show mercy or restraint, who would gladly shatter or kill anyone who stood in her way. Her hatred for humans had come across loud and clear; she wouldn’t hold back on any of the kids just because they were young and small and defenseless. It would take almost nothing for her to snuff all of their lives out in an instant, for her to snuff Dipper’s life out without a second thought–
But Lapis wouldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t. She’d do whatever she had to. All for him. Only for him.
And so, she took in a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and offered her hand, her power, her very life up for his. It should have been that simple. But the second Dipper saw Lapis hold her hand out to Jasper, something inside of him broke .
“W-wait!” he cried as he finally found his voice again. “Wait, no!” Pearl and Mabel both tried to stop him, but they were too late to keep him from rushing forward to do something, anything to keep this from happening. “Lapis, stop! You don’t have to do this! You can’t just-”
He was swiftly silenced the second the back of Jasper’s hand slammed straight into his stomach. “Stay out of this!” she hissed alongside the attack. It was a brutal blow, one that sent Dipper flying back into one of the many chunks of metal littering the shore.
Lapis jolted as she watched him land with a pained cry, scarcely able to pick himself up off the ground at all. In an instant, Mabel was at his side to help him sit up, but even still, he wrapped his arms around his chest. Lapis noticed it all too well–the small trickle of blood dripping from his mouth as he winced against some sort of unseen agony. And the more she saw, the more upset, the more furious she became–
And the more she knew, she had to do this. There was no other way.
“Stupid, useless humans. They just don’t know when to quit,” Jasper grumbled before she turned her attention back to Lapis. “Now… where were we?”
“L-Lapis,” Dipper weakly choked as he held a trembling hand out to her. “ Please… ”
The heavy look on Lapis’ face finally softened when she met his nearly tearful gaze once more. There was so much she wanted to say to him, and not a single second for any of it. So instead, she simply mouthed the only final message she could bear to give him, knowing it wouldn’t be anything close to enough:
“I’m sorry…”
By now, even Steven and Mabel knew they couldn’t stop this, but Dipper still wanted to, more than anything else. Even though he knew his own injured body wouldn’t let him, even though he knew whatever he might try or say wouldn’t work. He still wanted to get up, to run to Lapis, to even just scream at her that she shouldn’t do this, that she couldn’t do this, that he needed her –
But in the end, all he could do was sit there, frozen on the shore, as Lapis gave Jasper her hand and their vile dance began.
It lasted only seconds, long enough for Jasper to spin Lapis before dipping her low. With that alone, their gemstones began to glow, illuminating the wicked grin on Jasper’s face as she got exactly what she wanted: more than enough power to destroy all of her foes in one fell swoop.
The glow of fusion engulfed them both, rising high above the shore as limbs began to pour out of it, as eyes started to form. The Gems and the kids could only watch in growing terror as an entirely new fusion emerged, far more monstrous than any of them had ever seen before.
She was a titan of a creature, towering above both the wreckage and everyone below her. She stood on a set of four sturdy legs, with sickly green skin only made all the more striking by the fires surrounding her. A wild mane of white hair framed her face, four manic eyes and lips curled into a cruel smirk as she gained her bearings and let out her first laugh in a voice that wasn’t her own. Instead, it was the voices of the Gems she was made of, just as mangled and mashed together as everything else about her seemed to be.
“Yes!” she cheered as she raised her hand high. With it, the lake itself did her bidding; a massive swath of water swelled into the air, more than ready to crush the Gems and the kids cowering before her. “Just try and stop me now! You’re no match for Malachite !”
Malachite’s triumphant cackling only continued to ring out over the shore, leaving her foes at a loss about what to do to stop her, to save themselves. But as they’d soon find out, they wouldn’t have to–
Because Malachite stopped herself instead.
“Huh?!” She started, surprised, when her watery attack suddenly shifted. It latched onto both of her wrists, taking on the form of tight, unyielding chains . “W-what?!” Even more chains followed, this time to bind her legs and torso. The others stood still, only able to watch as those chains began to drag Malachite back toward the lake behind her.
“What are you doing?!” she roared, struggling against her own hold. Her shocked anger suddenly swerved into something more raw, more resolved as she yelled, “I’m done being everyone’s prisoner. Now you’re my prisoner! And I’m never letting you go!”
Malachite’s screams, anguished and outraged, rattled the group below. She thrashed against the chains, desperate as they pulled her ever closer to the lake, to her prison . She even went as far as trying to split herself apart, only for her other half to keep her firmly locked into their fusion. After all, this was what she’d wanted; why not let her have it–and everything that came along with it?
“Lapis!” Steven tried calling to her, but his voice was all but drowned out in the chaos. Meanwhile, Mabel kept a tight grip on Dipper’s shoulders, but she could feel him shuddering under her hold. He couldn’t stomach the sight of any of this, and yet… he couldn’t look away.
He couldn’t bear to miss the last glimpse of Lapis he might ever get to see.
By now, Malachite had finally pulled herself out into the middle of the lake. She was barely struggling to stay above the surface as she let out one final scream, furious and firm all at once.
“Let’s stay on this miserable planet together !”
And, with one last tug on her chains, she was gone. Dragged into the darkness of the lake, lost to the murky depths below.
Silence filled the shore, hanging heavy over the group standing upon it. Slowly, the lake’s waters grew still, the waves lapping less heavily onto the shore. As if nothing had even happened at all. Only the wreckage of the hand ship remained, still aglow as it burned all around them. When the silence was finally broken, Garnet was the first to do it as she bluntly said what they were all thinking.
“Yikes. They are really bad for each other…”
Pearl clung loosely onto Garnet’s arm as Amethyst kept staring at the lake, her jaw dropped in shock. Without thinking, Mabel leaned in to hug her brother tight, but Dipper didn’t return her embrace. Instead, he stayed still, unable to lift his sights from the spot Malachite had sunken through. Unable to do anything at all but let the first of his held-back tears finally fall.
Steven jumped, startled, when he heard his phone cheerfully ringing from his pocket. His hands were still shaking as he reached for it, answering it with a small, wavering, “Uh, hello?”
“Steven?!” Connie’s voice was frantic on the other line. “I got your message. Are you guys ok?! What’s going on?”
Steven didn’t answer. How could he, after everything they’d seen, everything they’d been through? How could he when the entire world had been turned totally upside down?
How could he, when it felt like nothing would ever be the same?
“...Steven?”
Notes:
Next time... the kids have to pick up the pieces.
Chapter 33: Full Disclosure
Summary:
In the aftermath of the invasion, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel all struggle to pick up the pieces, while Connie struggles to get answers.
Notes:
Time for another underappreciated UF classic! I always really loved the structure of this one, though I def think this rewrite fixes a few of its problems both writing wise and also structually. With that out of the way, it's time for some tough confessions! Lets' get started!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
VVR MEFV BVNL HSYQ JJGU CHLGF FUEUW
TSNNGG N REJC BVNL OIFY FW XIQRV
The shore was ablaze, still smoldering in the fires of the wrecked remains of the hand ship. The lake reflected those fires–green water tinged with the shades of an emerging sunrise as it washed onto the sand. It all too quickly covered up the tracks left behind by the fusion who had just dragged herself into its darkened depths.
The Gems were the first ones to get it together, if more for the kids’ sake than their own. Amethyst rubbed the back of her neck, forcing her gaze away from the lake, while Pearl held onto Garnet’s arm like vice. Still, she put on a small, wavering smile as she said, “That… could have gone a lot worse!”
Garnet glanced back at the wreckage around them, frowning. “Could have gone a lot better too…”
“W-well, look on the bright side!” Pearl continued. “At least the kids are all fine! Er… well, mostly fine…” Her smile finally faltered when she actually looked over at the kids to see just how ‘fine’ they really were.
Mabel still clung onto Dipper, not daring to let go for anything. He didn’t ask her to either; he couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, could barely even think after everything he’d just seen. His ribs ached horribly–no doubt Jasper had broken at least a few of them–but even that couldn’t compare to the other kind of pain he was feeling. Pain that was far worse than any he’d ever felt before.
“D-Dipper?” Mabel’s voice finally reached him, soft and uncertain. “Are… are you…” She trailed off, unable to even finish a question she already knew the answer to. Of course, he wasn’t ok. And, if she was perfectly honest with herself, neither was she.
“Steven?” Mabel didn’t get much of a reaction out of him either. He stood stiff, and every bit as silent as Dipper, his eyes wide as he stared at the lake. All the while, Connie’s concerned questions continued echoing from his phone–and all of them went unanswered.
“Steven? Are you there? Are Dipper and Mabel with you? I got your message. What happened?”
Steven didn’t get the chance to say a word–not that he knew what to say anyway–before Amethyst suddenly chimed in. She broke through the quiet covering the shore, whooping and hollering as she ran around in an excited frenzy.
“We WON!” she shouted straight into Steven’s ear before moving onto Lion. “We won, we won, WE WON!”
“Is that… Amethyst?” Connie asked over the phone. “W-what’s going on? You said that there’s some kind of giant space hand and you all might die?”
Once again, Steven couldn’t get anything out before Amethyst dragged both him and Mabel into a tight, triumphant hug. Steven didn’t join in on her laughter, but Mabel did, even if hers came out much more hesitantly.
“Y-yeah! I guess we did win!” she exclaimed, forcing herself to believe it. She went a step further, tagging along after Amethyst as she sprinted across the shore in a celebration no one else was joining in on. “We brought that freaky hand down to high five with the cliff and we won!”
“Heck yeah, we did!” Amethyst high-fived Mabel before rushing over to scoop Pearl up into a messy embrace.
Mabel, on the other hand, ran back over to Dipper. He hadn’t moved an inch, and he still didn’t, even when his sister started shaking him by the shoulders. “Dipper! Dipper! Dipper! Did ya hear? We won!”
Somehow, that was finally enough to snap Dipper out of his longstanding silence. For the first time since Malachite disappeared beneath its waves, he looked away from the lake to set his sights on his sister instead. “What?” he asked, his voice barely audible.
“I, uh. I said we won!” Mabel’s smile turned a touch wider, a touch more nervous. “Everything’s ok now!”
Dipper sharply looked away from her the second she said that. He loosely wrapped his arms around himself as he looked back at the lake and said, “No, it’s not. We didn’t win.”
“But we-”
“We didn’t win,” Dipper said again, more firmly this time. He kept his gaze locked on the surface of the lake, on the prison Lapis had locked herself beneath.
A prison she was only in because of him.
Only now was Steven able to find his voice again. He gripped his phone a bit tighter, intent on finally telling Connie everything she needed to know. “Connie! You’re not going to believe what happened! Where do I even start?! It’s been a madhouse over here–we have so much to tell you! Right, guys?”
He spared a glance over at the twins. Dipper didn’t so much as glance away from the lake, while Mabel looked back at him, her face filled with worry. That same sort of worry hit Steven squarely in the gut as he slowly lowered his phone, even as Connie kept asking more and more questions.
Questions he suddenly realized he had no good answers to.
Those questions were all but forgotten as a familiar van suddenly sped onto the shore. “Steven!” Greg cried as he skidded to a stop. He hopped out just as quickly, overwhelmed with relief as he rushed to meet his son.
“Dad!” Steven called, smiling. “Connie, I have to go. I promise I’ll call you back!” Steven didn’t hear any of Connie’s protests as he abruptly hung up on her. Instead, he cheerfully bounded over to his father–so glad to see him after such a chaotic night apart. “Dad’s back! Dad’s back!”
“Oh, thank goodness, you’re ok!” Greg scooped him up into a tight hug. “I saw the spaceship start to leave and then it crashed so I came back and–Oh, your eye…” He cringed at the sight of Steven’s black eye, still heavily swollen, despite his bright smile. “But you’re ok! I guess those jerks were no match for the Crystal Gems!”
“No way, they were super strong!” Steven shook his head.
“But… you were able to beat them back?”
“No, they totally stomped us!” Steven began to explain. He hardly noticed the way Greg’s eyes widened, the way fear only continued to fill them with every new, frightening thing he heard. “This warrior Jasper was super beefy and knocked me unconscious. Then they abducted me onto the ship because they wanted to take me away forever. And then we crashed the ship and we almost died!”
By now, Greg was in an all out panic. He clutched a hand against his chest, distraught as he tried to wrap his head around everything his son was telling him. Around all of the danger he hadn’t been around to protect him from. “W-what did they want with you?!”
“They think I’m Mom.”
“T-they think you’re…” Greg starkly cut himself off. “Are more Homeworld Gems gonna come after you?”
“I…. I don’t know…” Steven admitted, frowning. “Maybe?”
Greg drew in a sharp wheeze, his hands tangled tightly in his hair. “Steven, I’m supportive and very proud of you–And I’ll be right back.”
Without another word, he jumped back into the van as he struggled to catch his breath. “O-ok! Gotta calm down! Where’s my relaxing music CD? This one?” He shoved the first disc he could get his hands on into the player, hoping for calming guitar melodies, only to get blaring heavy metal instead. “Ah! Wrong one!” Greg practically fought with his van to get it out. “Stop! Eject!”
Steven could only stand by as his father’s van continued thumping until two of its wheels fell right out from under it. He wasn’t the only one watching Greg’s breakdown either. Mabel skimmed Dipper’s shoulder, drawing his attention over to the startling sight. Greg was usually so calm, so laid-back and easy going. But suddenly, the mere idea of what his son had been through had him in a full-on panic attack. As Dipper and Mabel exchanged a glance, they couldn’t help but wonder if someone else they knew might react the exact same way.
They couldn’t help but wonder if Stan’s reaction might be even worse.
As shaken as Steven already was by his father’s meltdown, he flinched when he heard his phone ringing again. He almost answered it, but when he glanced back up at Greg, he stayed his hand. What if this happened all over again? What if he made Connie feel just as bad as Greg did, just by telling her it all at once? What if he dragged her into this mess the same way he already had Dipper and Mabel, without even meaning to at all?
What if he made everything even more unbearable than it already was?
That thought alone is what made Steven look down at his ringing phone. And this time, he made no effort to answer it.
After the Gems dragged Greg and his van back over to the car wash, they decided it was finally time to go home. After all, there’d be plenty of time to start cleaning up the ship’s wreckage later, after the fires finally burned themselves out. The Gems escorted the twins back to the shack first, instructing them to get some much-needed rest. As they parted ways, Steven lingered back for a bit, knowing he couldn’t leave them without saying something.
If only he knew what that something should really be.
“Um, you guys?” he turned back and they did the same. “I just… I, um… I wanted to-”
He wanted to thank them, to apologize to them, to tell them how afraid for their lives he had truly been. He wanted to tell them that they never should have risked so much to save him, that he never should have let them come back to town with him at all. He wanted to tell them both just how much they meant to him, just how glad he was that he hadn’t lost them when he so easily could have, just how much he never wanted to see them in such terrible danger ever again.
He wanted to tell them so much… but he couldn’t get a single word of it out. Not when he noticed the slight limp Mabel was still walking with. Not when he noticed the bruise on Dipper’s arm, still wrapped loosely around his chest. Not when he noticed the exhaustion, the worry, the sheer sadness on both of their faces. They’d both gotten hurt, badly, all for his sake. He’d hurt them, by getting them involved in this, by dragging them down with him into a disaster they were never meant to face.
And Steven couldn’t help but wonder if he was hurting them even still.
“Yeah, Steven?” Mabel broke him out of his troubled thoughts. Both her and Dipper looked to him expectantly, only for Steven to stumble back, shaking his head.
“I, um, I forgot,” he said with a half-hearted smile. “Guess I better be getting back. S-see you guys later.”
With that, he shoved his hands into his pockets and hurried up the hill, not even bothering to look back. The twins exchanged a confused glance, but they ultimately shrugged his strange behavior off. It had been a long night for everyone, after all. They could all do with some sleep and some time to recover. Or at least, to try to recover.
“S-so,” Mabel began as they made their way to the shack. She put on as much of a smile as she could muster, hoping to lighten the mood. “I bet Grunkle Stan’s still out of town like everyone else. He probably stayed in one of those super cheap budget motels with cracks in the walls, only two channels on the TV, and a friendly hobo sleeping in the bathtub!”
She laughed, noticing all too well when Dipper didn’t join in on it, when he didn’t so much as crack a smile or even look her way. She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck as she got a bit more serious. “Um, actually, speaking of Grunkle Stan… Maybe… maybe we shouldn’t tell him about all this. I mean, Mr. Universe flipped out when Steven told him. Grunkle Stan’s like, really, really old; I don’t think his poor elderly heart could take that kind of stress! So… we ought to just keep our epic jailbreak adventure to ourselves, don’t you think so, bro-bro?”
Dipper only offered a long, tired sigh as he mumbled, “Fine, whatever…”
Mabel winced; she’d seen her brother upset before, but never this outright depressed. She didn’t have to think too long about where that depression was coming from either. After what happened to Lapis, it would be strange if he wasn’t acting like this. Still, that didn’t stop Mabel from wanting to cheer him up all the same.
“Well, uh, we’ll probably have the shack to ourselves for a few hours until Stan gets back,” she said, forcing a hopeful smile back on. “You wanna raid the gift shop for snacks? Grunkle Stan wouldn’t have to know… It’ll be super fun!”
Dipper jolted when Mabel lightly, playfully elbowed him. “Stop,” he sullenly warned as he shoved her away. “I’m not in the mood, Mabel.”
“Dipper…” Mabel said, frowning. She didn’t get a chance to say much else as they headed inside, only for a sharp crash to suddenly echo through the shack, startling them both.
“Alright, you Homeworld mooks!” Stan stormed into the gift shop with a baseball bat in tow. “You found it! But you’re as cracked as Amethyst was that one time if you think I’ll let you get any closer to it! I’ll give you one warning to get out before things get ugly! I’m not about to stand by while you creeps come in here and try to take away everything I’ve-”
The bat slipped out of his hands the second he spotted the twins. He stiffened, eyes wide with surprise as he looked between the two of them for a beat. It didn’t take him long to regain his composure as he straightened up and cleared his throat.
“What are you two doing back here so early?” he asked, cringing as he noticed the state they were in. “And yeesh, what happened to you? You look like you were in some kind of street brawl. Take it from somebody who’s been in plenty, I would know.”
“Uh, w-well, you see, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel chuckled nervously. “I-It’s really a funny story. You’re gonna laugh so hard when you hear it! In fact, maybe you don’t wanna hear it after all; you might just pass out from laughing at how hilarious it is!”
Stan raised an eyebrow, unphased. “I think I’ll live.”
“Oh, well, uh, we-”
“Grunkle Stan,” Dipper suddenly cut in. “What are you doing here? Didn’t you evacuate right after we did? How’d you get back to town so soon?”
This time, it was Stan’s turn to tense up. He forced his sights away from the twins, from all of the mysterious injuries they’d somehow gotten when they were supposed to be far out of harm’s way. From the way Mabel looked so oddly anxious, from the way Dipper looked so strangely sad. They weren’t telling him something, clearly.
And if they weren’t telling the truth, then neither would he.
“Eh, I just came back to make sure the shack was still standing,” Stan glanced around at the gift shop. A few items had been knocked from their shelves and the windows were all but shattered, but otherwise, the damage was surprisingly minimal. “Looks like the old place held up during that big ‘alien invasion’ or whatever it was. Still, I guess I’ll have to get Soos to fix all these broken windows. Speaking of which, where is he? He did bring you both back here, didn’t he?”
“Yes!” Mabel rushed to confirm, to lie. “Yeah, h-he totally brought us back! A-and after he dropped us off, he went home to, uh… eat breakfast…?”
“Hm,” Stan nodded, seemingly buying it. “Can’t say I really blame him. All this evacuation nonsense has me starving. What about you kids? You, uh… you want me to cook us all up some breakfast or something?”
Dipper was the first to turn this offer down as he headed for the stairs, forlorn. “I’m not hungry…”
“Y-yeah… me neither…” Mabel agreed, sighing. “I, uh… I think we’re just gonna rest for a while. But, um… thanks anyway, Grunkle Stan!”
“Oh, yeah, don’t… mention it,” Stan frowned as he watched Mabel hurry after her brother. He’d never really seen the two of them like this before. If he knew his niece and nephew, he knew they were excitable, outspoken, overzealous, if not a bit annoying at times. But now? Now it was as if the spark he knew they both should have had been suddenly snuffed out altogether. And what bothered Stan most of all was that he had no idea why.
“Oh, geez,” he muttered, far more worried than he’d ever admit. Far more worried about the kids than he’d ever been before. “What am I gonna do with those two…?”
“Waddles!” Mabel rushed to hug the pig snoozing on her bed. She hoisted him into her arms, holding him close as he happily nuzzled against her. “Oh, my sweet little angel! I’m so sorry for leaving you behind! Everything happened so fast and I didn’t have time to come back up here to get you. You wouldn’t believe what we-”
She stopped short when she noticed Dipper slowly approaching the nightstand. Carefully, he picked up the photos he and Lapis had taken in the waterfall cave a few days ago–though it felt like a lifetime ago now. In those photos, they both looked so happy, as if nothing in the world could ever tear them apart. How could either of them have known that something so devastating ultimately would?
“Dipper…?” Mabel set Waddles down to devote her full attention to him. She wasn’t really sure what to say to him, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t try and ease the pain he was in, even just a little. “I’m so, so sorry about what happened to Lapis,” she rested a gentle hand on his shoulder. “But… think of it this way! She totally saved all of our butts from Jasper! She’s a hero!”
“Yeah, she is a hero,” Dipper surprisingly, bitterly agreed. “But she’s also trapped, again. And she’s trapped because… b-because…” He all but threw the photos back onto the table, tightly closing his eyes to fight back tears that he was only barely able to keep at bay. “Because of me.”
“Oh, Dipper…” Mabel’s grip on his shoulder tightened. “You know that’s not true. None of this is your fault!”
“It is,” he insisted as he pulled away from her. “The only reason she fused with Jasper at all was to protect us, to protect me. She never would have done that if I hadn’t–I-it we hadn’t spent all that time together, then she wouldn’t have felt like she had to–She’d still be-”
It was getting harder and harder to hold his tears back, especially as he choked out a dry, miserable sob. He pulled himself out of his sister’s hold, unable to face her, unable to face any of this. Unable to face a world where he was safe and free and Lapis wasn’t.
“Dipper-” Mabel made another attempt. But once again, he wouldn’t hear her out.
“I don’t wanna talk about this anymore, Mabel,” he sighed as he settled into bed. “Let’s just… try to get some rest, ok?”
“Y-yeah…” Mabel had no choice but to agree. “I mean, we did just pull an all-nighter. M-maybe we’ll both feel a little better after a good nap.”
Dipper didn’t answer; by now, he’d already rolled over in bed, his back turned to her. Mabel simply sighed as she climbed into her own bed, pulling Waddles close for some much-needed comfort. As tired as she already was, it didn’t take her long to drift off to sleep, longing to wake up and discover that the past night had been nothing more than a bad dream.
It wasn’t, of course, something she knew all too well when she awakened, barely rested, a few hours later. She rolled over to find her brother’s bed was bare; he must have quietly slipped out while she’d been sleeping. She didn’t have to think too hard about where he might’ve gone either, and while she wished he hadn’t gone out on his own, she made no effort to follow him. After all, maybe that’s just what he needed right now; or at least she hoped it was.
Even though, in reality, she had no idea what either one of them really needed to fix this.
“Now, Connie, please don’t freak out, but a giant laser hand tried to steal me into space. B-but it didn’t, it didn’t! We’re back and everything is… fine now…”
Steven trailed off, frowning down at his phone. Try as he might to rehearse it, he just couldn’t figure out a way to explain it all to Connie. At least, not in a way that wouldn’t make her completely shut down the same way Greg had. Not in a way that wouldn’t hurt her the same way he’d already hurt Dipper and Mabel.
“Um, Connie? F-funny story! As it turns out, there’s a lot more Gems out there than we thought. And I think they wanna… kill me?”
He’d left the temple awhile ago to get some fresh air, only to find a Gravity Falls filled with silent, unsettling stillness. The evacuees had yet to return, and in their place, the streets were littered with shattered glass and the hand ship’s broken remains. The debris only got worse the closer he got to the lake, making it even harder to ignore all of the things Steven only wished he could forget.
“Uh, h-hey, Connie! That message I left you was… i-it was just a dream! Eh, she’s too smart for that…”
Steven stopped short not far from the path leading to the lake. He shuddered as he stared at the wreckage scattered all over it; even if it wasn’t on fire anymore, it still wasn’t any easier to look at. It still served as a strong reminder of the vessel he’d been dragged onto as a prisoner, every bit as much as the lake itself reminded him of the twisted fusion now trapped beneath it.
So much had gone wrong over the past several hours alone, and even if they’d ‘won’, so much was still wrong. Lapis and Jasper were bound together by hatred, in a fusion that never should have existed in the first place, chained to the unreachable bottom of the lake. Peridot had escaped and was probably somewhere out there, already plotting her next move against them all. And even beyond them, the threat of other, even more powerful Homeworld Gems hung over their heads. They could come at any time, just as easily as Jasper and Peridot had, to take them all captive or even take them all down.
They’d barely stopped them this time; how could they ever hope to stop them again?
As lost in thought as he was, Steven didn’t notice he wasn’t the only one out and about. His focus was fixed on his phone to the point that he didn’t even see Dipper until they almost crashed right into each other. “Wha—Dipper?” Steven stopped just in time as he looked up from his phone. “What are you doing out here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” Dipper frowned, his hands shoved into his vest pockets.
“I was just… you know, checking out the town, making sure everything’s ok” Steven explained. “What are you doing here? I thought you and Mabel went back to the shack.”
“We did,” Dipper said. “But Stan was there, and he started asking us a bunch of questions that we don’t really know how to answer yet, so, uh… I just… d-decided to step out for a while. To clear my head, and all that.”
“Oh,” Steven’s brow furrowed when Dipper looked away from him and towards the lake. To the last place he’d seen Lapis; to the place Lapis still very much was. “Well… what about Mabel?”
“She’s still at the shack, getting some rest.”
“Don’t you think you should be doing the same thing, Dipper?” Steven asked, concerned. “We just had a really long night. Aren’t you tired after… well, everything?”
“No, I’m not really tired at all,” Dipper shook his head. It wasn’t really a lie either; how could he rest easy now, while Lapis was waging a war that might never end?
“Um, does your chest still hurt?” Steven pressed. “I could heal you if you-”
“I’m fine, Steven, really.”
“Are you sure? Jasper hit you pretty hard. Maybe I should take a look, just to be safe-”
“I said I’m fine,” Dipper insisted, even if he wasn’t. Even if his ribs sparked with all new pain every time he so much as moved. Even if he knew relief from that pain would be as easy as letting Steven work his magic. But he couldn’t; because if Lapis was suffering for his sake, then he might as well suffer too.
Steven sighed as he realized this was a debate he wasn’t going to win. Even so, he wasn’t blind. He could tell Dipper was nowhere near as “fine” as he said he was. The grief hanging heavy on his face as his gaze lingered on the lake was more than enough to tell him that. “Dipper… What happened to Lapis… It was-”
The bright chimes of his phone ringing abruptly cut him off. Steven blushed, fumbling to silence it as Dipper turned his attention back over to him. “Let me guess: Connie?”
“Yeah,” Steven nodded as he shoved his phone into his back pocket. “I-I still haven’t told her about the whole hand ship thing yet. And after how my dad reacted to it, I’m not so sure if I even want to…”
“Mabel feels the same way about telling Grunkle Stan,” Dipper said, rubbing his arm. “But I don’t think we’ll be able to keep it a secret from him for that long. There was just… so much that happened… I just can’t imagine keeping it all to ourselves forever, you know?”
“Y-yeah…” Steven drew in a sharp breath. “K-keep… keeping it to… ourselves…”
Now it was Dipper’s turn to be worried. If only because of the undeniable guilt written all over Steven’s face. “Are you ok, Steven? You seem sort of stressed, which–hey, I get it after everything you went through, but-”
“N-no, no! I’m ok!” Steven forced a smile onto his face. “I just… I want you to know that if you’re not ok, then I’ll be right here to help!”
But if you’re helping me, then who’s helping you? Dipper almost asked, but he didn’t. Instead, he nodded, knowing he was in no place to help Steven anyway. How could he help any of his friends when he’d already failed one of them so very badly? “Ok, well… I’d better get going,” he glanced back over at the lake. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
“Y-yeah, see you…” Steven couldn’t even bear to watch as Dipper walked away. As he let just one of his closest friends begin to drift away from him.
He couldn’t shake the feeling that might just be for the best.
With both townsfolk and tourists gone, Stan anticipated today would be a slow one at the shack. After spending all night up, waiting down in the basement for the worst to come, he decided to take it easy and relax in front of the TV. If only that relaxation could come as easily as he hoped it would.
If anything, his worries only persisted when he spotted Mabel groggily step into the den–noticably alone. Stan tried his best to offer her a smile all the same. “Hey, kiddo. Did ya have a nice nap?”
“Um, yeah,” Mabel rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “It was very… ‘nappy’?”
“Well… that’s good,” Stan sat up a bit straighter in his recliner. “Anyway, you hungry yet? ‘Cause that breakfast deal is still on the table, even if it is kinda late. I don’t think any breakfast police will barge in here and arrest us for making pancakes at 1 in the afternoon, do ya?”
Usually, Mabel would have laughed at such a corny joke. But instead, she barely cracked a smile. “No thanks, Grunkle Stan. I’m still not very hungry.”
Now Stan knew something was wrong. Mabel never turned down pancakes under any circumstances. Still, he kept his cool, shrugging it off for now. “Eh, whatever floats your boat then. What about your brother? Is he still conked out?”
“Uh… y-yeah, yeah he is,” Mabel nodded, biting her lip. She barely stifled a sigh of relief when Stan seemed to buy her very obvious lie.
“Hm, well that’s good, I guess. The kid seemed pretty mopey earlier,” Stan noted. “Not that that’s anything new. Seems like every other day he’s whining about something. ‘Oh, I can’t figure out why Gravity Falls is so weird!’, ‘Oh, a bunch of evil Gems are gonna sack the planet!’ And the list goes on. Wonder what’s got him all down in the dumps this time. Probably just another one of his ‘nerd’ problems, huh?”
“Maybe he just lost someone he really cares about and he blames himself for what happened to them!” Mabel suddenly snapped. Stan flinched, caught off guard by just how upset she was. And by how quickly she forced herself to reign it all in. “Uh, I-I mean… I’m not saying that is what happened. B-but if it was… then, I think he’d have a pretty good reason to be so down…”
“…Yeesh, sorry for hitting a nerve, I guess…” Stan rubbed the back of his neck as he swiftly changed the subject. “So, uh, that’s some bruise you got on your leg there. What, did you bust it up climbing into Soos’ truck or something?”
“Um… yeah, let’s go with that,” Mabel tucked her leg behind the other one to hide the offending bruise.
“Well, now you’ve got me thinkin’ there’s a little more to it than that,” Stan raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t lost on him, the way Mabel tensed up under even the smallest bit of scrutiny. Something she didn’t usually do, at least not around him.
“Uh, look, Mabel,” Stan began, clearing his throat.“I’m not the best at this… sentimental stuff, and this is gonna come out of left field but… if anything is bothering you or your brother, and I mean anything, no matter how big or how small it might be… you know you can always come and talk to me about it… right?”
Mabel drew in a wavering breath when she heard this. She wanted to tell him everything: the good and the bad, the exciting and the terrifying, the challenges they’d conquered and the dangers they still faced. She wanted to say it all right here and now… and yet…
If she told Stan everything, there was no telling what could happen. He could stress himself into a complete fit, just like Greg had before him. He could explode with rage, going on a furious rant about how they’d both deliberately disobeyed him. Or even worse yet, he could end up sending them home, to a pair of parents who certainly wouldn’t understand even half of what they’d been through, much less how to help them.
No, she knew she shouldn’t–she couldn’t. So instead, she simply forced yet another smile onto her face and said, “Uh, y-yeah! But, um, for now, I think I’ll finally take you up on that whole breakfast thing.”
“Wait, really?” Stan asked, surprised. “Uh, are you sure there isn’t anything you wanna, ya know, talk about or something?”
“Nope! Nothing at all!” Mabel shook her head as perkily as she could. “So I guess we better get to making those pancakes before those, uh, breakfast police bust in and haul us off to, um… pancake prison?”
“Eh, I was thinkin’ flapjack jail, but that works too,” Stan shrugged as he stood. “Still, it’s about time you put some grub in that empty gut of yours.” He stopped short, smiling as he playfully ruffled Mabel’s hair as he passed her by on the way to the kitchen. “Now, let’s get cooking! Who knows? Maybe I won’t even burn the pancakes this time!”
“Heh, yeah…” Mabel’s smile finally fell the second Stan could no longer see it. Not that her smile had ever been a real one to begin with. “That… that sounds… great…”
The lake was calm and quiet, almost deceptively so, despite the debris covering its shores. Despite the warring Gems locked in a vile fusion just beneath its waters.
Somewhere in the space between the wreckage, Dipper silently took a seat upon the brittle sand. For a long while, he did nothing but watch the gentle waves as they pushed and pulled their way onto the shore. It was almost like a dance, really, steady and unstoppable. Just like the dance that had created Malachite in the first place.
What was Lapis going through right now, all the way down at the bottom of the lake? Did she still have Jasper locked uptight in the depths of their fusion’s mind? Or was it a constant struggle for control, a battle that neither of them would ever truly win as long as they were stuck together?
Dipper didn’t want to think about any of that, but he found he couldn’t really think of anything but. He figured it was only fair he was haunted by it all, given the part he’d played in making this happen in the first place. He had gone to investigate that crash. He had convinced Lapis to stay on Earth. He had come back even after he’d promised her he’d leave.
And worst of all, he’d done nothing but stand by and watch as she gave up every part of herself to save him.
The silence filling the shore soon became overwhelming. It all but crushed Dipper as he stumbled to his feet and took a few steps closer to the lake. He stopped just shy of the water, staring out at the sunlight sparkling on its surface. It might’ve been beautiful–if it wasn’t nothing more than a lonely prison now.
“L-Lapis?” he wondered aloud. His voice was barely audible at first, but he tried again a bit louder, hoping he might reach her somehow. “Lapis, I don’t know if you can hear me, but if you can, I… This is… I-I didn’t want-” He stopped short, unsure of where to even start when there was so much he wanted to say. So much more than he could even bear.
“I didn’t want this,” he finally said as he wrapped his arms around himself. “I didn’t want any of this! All I wanted was for you to stay here with me, but now you’re stuck down there with her and it’s–it’s not fair!” His voice quickly hitched into a frustrated shout, not that he cared, not that it even mattered at all. None of this did, but he still didn’t stop, he couldn’t stop now. Everything that he’d been holding back, anger, sorrow, tears and all, came flooding out of him far faster than he could ever even hope to keep up with.
“It’s not supposed to be like this! You were already trapped in that mirror for so long, y-you can’t just let yourself be trapped all over again!” He resorted to begging; it was futile before Malachite had been formed and he knew it was futile now. But he still couldn’t stop himself from begging, from trying anyway. “You don’t have to do this for me! I’m so, so sorry if I ever made you feel like you did! I don’t want you to protect me if this is–I-if you have to–I just…”
Words all but failed him as he slowly slipped to his knees. He choked on a sob as waves began to skim his legs. As he realized this was about as close to Lapis as he’d ever be able to get anymore. “Come back…” he whispered, heartbroken. “Please…”
She didn’t, of course. But to his surprise, something else suddenly did.
He barely caught it out of the corner of his eye, bobbing up and down on the waves as it drifted ever closer to shore. But sure enough, it was there. There was no mistaking his hat, lost last night in all of the chaos of their harrowing break-in. He sat stiff, only watching as the lake brought it right back to him, settling it on the sand at his feet–mangled and waterlogged, but still in one piece. And as he picked it up with trembling hands, Dipper knew–this couldn’t be a mere coincidence.
Even now, even still, Lapis was looking out for him, helping him in any way she could, even though he knew he didn’t deserve it. How could he, when she was locked in a vicious struggle while he sat here, doing nothing all over again?
“No.” He sat up a bit straighter, wiping the tears from his eyes. “I can’t just do nothing. You saved me, s-so… so I’ll find a way to save you!” He stood, wringing the water out of his hat before he put it back on his head. He faced the lake with a new kind of resolve, with a promise that he was determined to fulfill, with hope he didn’t dare let his despair drive away–not this time. Not as long as she still needed his help.
“I’ll save you, Lapis,” he sternly repeated in the hopes that she might just hear him after all. “No matter what it takes.”
Steven groaned as his phone rang for what must have been the hundredth time today alone. He had no doubts it was Connie, but even still, he didn’t answer. At this rate, he wasn’t sure if he ever would.
His wandering through town had eventually taken him to the top of one of the floating cliffs overlooking the valley. From this vantage point, he easily could see the damage the hand ship left behind. Gravity Falls was no stranger to strangeness, but Steven couldn’t remember a time his home had ever been shaken up quite like this. From the humble panes of the Big Donut, to the sparkling glass of Northwest Manor, almost no window in Gravity Falls had been spared from the explosion’s fallout. Even beyond that, chunks of debris still sat in the empty streets of a town that was usually so full of life. A town that had been so deeply changed over the course of but a single, terrifying night. And for as many scars as that night had left behind, Steven knew that if this were to ever happen again, even more would follow.
If Gravity Falls was even lucky enough to survive Homeworld’s wrath a second time.
“Yo!”
Steven snapped out of his thoughts when he realized he wasn’t as alone on the cliff as he thought. “Oh, hey, Ronaldo,” he turned to greet the teen far less cheerfully than he normally would have.
“Didn’t you hear?” Ronaldo asked as he joined him. “Mayor Dewey is calling everyone back into town. We can go home now.”
Steven expected as much, but he couldn’t say he was looking forward to it. More folks coming back meant more questions that he wouldn’t be able to answer. More people he wasn’t sure he’d be able to protect. More ways he could fail them all even more than he already had.
“Ooooh! I see!” Ronaldo crooned in sudden understanding. “You come up here to brood too!”
“Brood?”
“Yes, Steven,” Ronaldo said, gravely serious. “That’s just what people like us do. Suffer quietly, shouldering the knowledge no one else can bear. As an aficionado of the weird yourself, you’ve probably noticed ordinary people fear the cold, lead anchor of the truth. The abyss is no Sunday swan dive.”
“I know!” Steven agreed. “My dad flipped out when I told him, and Dipper and Mabel are both still super torn up over everything we went through!”
“Sounds typical,” Ronaldo stoically nodded. “But it’s a good reminder. This is no easy path we’ve chosen here. There are… sacrifices. Look at them all down there, Steven,” he waved a hand out at the town spread below them. “It’s our duty to let those simple people live out their simple lives, without ever knowing the burden of being friends with us.”
Steven couldn’t really argue with that. Even if the mere idea of such a lonely life was far more than he could ever hope to bear. “W-well, at least we can be there for each other,” he looked to Ronaldo with a hopeful smile. Only to find out they weren’t as “together” on this as he thought.
“Is that giant hand from the sky sitting right beside the lake?!” he let out a dumbfounded gasp. “I gotta get some pics of that for my blog!”
Without even saying goodbye, he ran off, phone already in hand as he left Steven behind with only his thoughts. Thoughts that only continued to drag him down more and more by the minute, to the point that he could hardly keep them contained anymore. And with no one around to hear him, he figured he might as well get them all out the best way he knew how.
“Everybody told me Gem stuff’s dangerous,” he began to sing, both to himself and the distant town below. “I guess I didn’t believe it until now-”
“Dad always seemed apprehensive. And now he’s really freaking out. What do I do?”
“I don’t want that for you…”
At that very moment, his phone rang again, almost as if Connie knew he was thinking about her. He fished it out of his pocket, setting it onto the ground next to him as he did what he could to block out his bouncy ringtone until it finally fell silent again.
“Everybody tells me life is precious on the planet Earth,” he flopped back to lay in the grass as he reached for his phone. He scrolled through his gallery, through snapshots of the summer so far. Photos of himself, Connie, Dipper, and Mabel, all having carefree fun together. All nothing more than mere memories now.
“And that means you, and I have to protect you-” Even though he’d already failed to protect two of them.
“What if somehow you get hurt?” Even though they had gotten hurt to help him.
“What do I do? I don’t want that for you…” Even though Connie simply wanted to know all of the things he couldn’t bear to tell her.
His phone rang again, only this time, Steven was surprised to see someone else on the caller ID. Not that he was any more keen on answering Mabel’s incoming call than he had been about Connie’s. So instead, he let it go, sadly singing along with his ringtone as it echoed brightly across the cliffside.
“Oooooooo, ooooooooo, ooooooooo, ooooooo...”
“Everybody told us to run and stay safe, but we didn’t listen-”
“And look at us now. We barely made it back here.”
“I didn’t want this to happen–What do I do?”
“I don’t want this for you.”
By the time his phone went silent again, Steven buried his head into his knees as he tried and failed to block it all out. But even that wasn’t enough to stem the tide of unpleasant memories, each hitting him heavier than the last.
“What am I going to tell you?”
The fearsome winds stirred up by the hand ship’s landing.
“You’re better off not knowing the trouble I’m in.”
The sheer terror in Garnet’s eyes when she was torn apart.
“I don’t want you to worry-”
The pain rattling in his skull when he woke up alone in a tiny cell.
“About what I’ve just seen, about where I’ve just been-”
Ruby. Sapphire. Lapis. Peridot. Jasper-
Dipper and Mabel, in a place they never should have been in, all to save him.
“How am I going to save you?”
The explosion rocking the hand ship as it dragged it back to Earth.
“My problems shouldn’t be yours anymore-”
The bubble he’d only barely managed to form in time to shield them from the fallout.
“I know you just want to help me-”
The hatred in Jasper’s eyes as she threatened to destroy them all.
“But this is more than anything we’ve faced before-”
The pained resolve in Lapis’ face when she offered herself up.
“You don’t have to be a part of this-”
The grief, so heavy and raw, in Dipper’s voice when he begged her to stop.
“I don’t think I want you to be-”
Malachite’s twisted, tangled laughter turning into frantic, desperate screams.
“You don’t need this.”
The way they all felt when it was finally over. The way they all felt even still. They way his closest, dearest friends would all continue to feel, unless-
Unless he made sure this never, ever happened to them again.
“You don’t need me.”
“Oooooooo, ooooooooo, ooooooooo, ooooooo...”
Steven’s eyes flew open as his phone began vibrating again. Mabel, Connie, or even Dipper–he couldn’t care less who it was. He couldn’t let them shoulder this burden. He couldn’t let them in any more than he already had.
Maybe they all would have been better off if he’d never let them in in the first place.
“Oooooooo, ooooooooo…”
His hand trembled as he took his phone and made his decision. This was his problem. He had to deal with it on his own. He had to protect them, to save them, to make sure their lives were safe and happy, even if–
Even if that meant he couldn’t be a part of them anymore.
“Oooooooo, ooooooooo…”
So, with one simple swipe of his finger, Steven rejected the call-
And he shut them all out once and for all.
Mabel frowned as she watched her phone go to voicemail. It wasn’t like Steven not to answer–and she desperately wished he had. What she wouldn’t give to have someone to talk to right now, someone who had been there, someone who understood. Someone like Dipper or Steven–
If only either of them could bother to be around.
With Dipper still at the lake and Steven nowhere to be found, Mabel found she had few other options at her disposal. So she decided to chat with Waddles instead, if only to help her unwind a little bit. Still, she quickly realized that even if he was utterly adorable, he wasn’t really the best conversationalist.
“And then Ruby swept Sapphire up off her feet and BAM!” she clapped her hands together, beaming. “They fused into GARNET! Can you believe it?! She’s a fusion, all the time, 24/7! Seeing that was the best part, hands down.” Her smile slowly faded as she leaned back into her bed. “As for everything else… It was… bad. Really bad. Especially the whole Malachite thing.”
She rested her arm over her eyes, not even smiling as Waddles cuddled up close to her side. “Dipper is sooooo upset about that, I can tell. I mean, you heard him earlier, blaming himself for what happened to Lapis, even though it's totally not his fault! But he won’t listen to me, a-and I don’t know how to help him, or make him feel better–I don’t even know how to make myself feel better about all this super heavy junk!”
She rolled over, barely disrupting Waddles as she groaned into her pillow, completely miserable. “I wish none of this had ever even happened. Or that everything could just go back to normal around here. I don’t know how much more of this I can take…”
There wasn’t much left to say after that. She stayed where she was, her face buried into her pillow and her pig by her side, hardly comforted by either of them. At the same time, she didn’t even notice Stan when he peeked into the attic through the barely open door to check in on her.
While he hadn’t heard much of what she’d said, he still frowned as he watched her, lying still and silent when he was used to her being anything but either of those things. Mabel was rainbows and glitter and sugar and singing and shouting and smiles. But ever since she and Dipper had gotten back earlier that day, Stan hadn’t seen much of any of those things from her. And, come to think of it, he hadn’t seen much of Dipper at all.
It all made Stan worry even more than he already was. Something was up with those kids, his kids, something he couldn’t quite figure out. And whatever it was, he didn’t want to get to the bottom of it anywhere near as much as he wanted to fix it. As much as he wanted to get Dipper and Mabel back to their normal cheerful, clever, wonderful selves.
And as he heard the front door opening downstairs, Stan knew exactly who he could count on to help him do that.
“Yo, Mr. Pines!” Soos called out for his boss. “You back from that evacuation thing yet? Or did you not end up going like you told me you weren’t-”
“Soos!” Stan cut him off just in time as he hurried into the gift shop.
“Oh, Mr. Pines! I’m so happy you’re ok!” Soos breathed a sigh of relief. “That giant hand thing was totally bonkers crazy! Did you see it crash back into town? It was-”
“Yeah, yeah, giant hand, who cares?” Stan waved the topic off. “Listen, Soos, I’m glad you’re here. I need your help with something.”
“You mean fixing all these broken windows?” Soos nodded to the nearest one. “‘Cause you probably don’t want all this glass lying around everywhere, even if it is kinda pretty when the light hits it the right way, see?” He smiled as he picked up a small, colorful piece of glass and held it to the sun. “Aw, dude, this is like, the most magical thing I’ve ever seen, hands down.”
“Forget about the glass, Soos,” Stan huffed. “What we’re gonna be tackling is way more important than that.”
“Oh yeah? What is it?”
Stan grinned, thinking of nothing other than the kids and the smiles he hoped to spark on their faces. Smiles, he realized, he was so eager to finally see again. “We’re gonna cheer up some kids.”
“Oh, come on!” Amethyst groaned as she leaned against the fridge. “You don’t really expect us to pick up all that junk, do you?!”
“No whining,” Garnet crossed her arms. “We need to start cleaning up the debris sooner rather than later.”
“Garnet’s right,” Pearl firmly agreed. “It’s only been one day and people are already starting to come back into town.”
“We need to keep them away from the lake,” Steven suddenly spoke up. He stood near the window, his voice and expression both cold as he peered through the blinds. “If any humans got access to Gem technology, they could really hurt themselves. We should force them to stay out, and not just out of the lake either–out of the temple too. Maybe that'll finally keep them all safe.”
Amethyst raised an eyebrow at him, put off by how strangely he was acting. Pearl, on the other hand, hardly even noticed. “Hm, closing off the temple… You know, we did once have a fence… Let’s get a new one! With barbed wire!”
“This time, let’s build a moat,” Amethyst suggested, smirking. “I could be… the crocodile!” She shapeshifted her head into a crocodile’s, snapping her long jaw in Pearl’s direction as she waved her hands around. “Jazz hands!”
“No,” Garnet sternly turned the idea down.
“Aw, why not?”
“Because you always say you’ll be the crocodile, but you never commit!” Pearl scolded as Amethyst turned her head back to normal.
“Hmph, you wouldn’t be saying that if you knew about the time I had to be a crocodile during one of me and Stan’s Revenge Trips.”
“And why, pray tell, would you have ever needed to be a crocodile for one of your nights of debauchery?”
“That’s for me to know, and for that lake full of endangered fish we ransacked to never find out.”
“No fence around the temple either,” Garnet got them back on track.
“But Garnet-”
“We can’t close the temple off again,” she shut their protests down. “Steven needs to be able to see his father and his friends.”
“No, I don’t!” Steven argued intently. “I can’t keep clinging to the vestiges of my humanity. It’s time I got serious.”
For as serious as he tried to be, it all fell to pieces the second his phone rang again. “Steven?” Pearl questioned as she noticed him tense up. “Why is your communication device making that sound?”
“I-it’s Connie,” Steven sighed. “She’s been trying to call me. But I can’t face her anymore. And I can’t face Dipper or Mabel anymore either.”
“Uh, why not?” Amethyst asked, frowning.
“B-because!” Steven exclaimed, distraught. “I have to protect them! But I can’t do that if they’re just gonna face Homeworld invasions and sneak onto giant hand-shaped spaceships to try and help me! So the way I see it, the only way I can keep all three of them safe and keep them from getting hurt anymore is if… if we just… don’t hang out anymore…”
“Steven, that line of reasoning... doesn’t really make much sense…” Pearl pointed out, shaking her head
“Pearl’s right,” Garnet agreed. “Steven, you can’t shun yourself away from your friends or your culture. You may be a Gem, but you’re also a human. And you can’t allow yourself to lose touch with that side of yourself just because of what just happened.”
“But I have to focus!” Steven insisted. “If this whole invasion thing showed me anything, it’s that all this Gem stuff is even more important than I thought! I have to help you guys keep the planet safe, just like Mom did, which means I can’t let myself get distracted anymore. It’s a lonely road, but somebody has to walk it. And that somebody is gonna be me.”
“So you’re just going to avoid Connie, Dipper, and Mabel forever then?” Pearl asked, perplexed.
“Yes. It’s the responsible thing to do.”
“Eh, that’s gonna be kinda hard seeing as how Connie’s coming up the steps right now,” Amethyst noted as she peeked through the blinds.
“W-what?!” Steven gasped, alarmed. Upon checking the other window, he found that sure enough, Connie was already at the door, knocking with one hand and clinging onto her phone with the other. He tucked just out of sight as Pearl went to answer it.
“Oh! Hello… Connie…” she began, offering her an awkward smile.
“Is Steven home?” Connie got right to the point. And as she did, she failed to notice Steven climbing out of the window only a few feet away so he could silently slip right behind her.
“Uh, no…” Pearl tried her best not to look at Steven as he vaunted over the porch railing to make his escape.
“Is he ok?” Connie pressed, concerned. “I’m just really worried about him, a-and Dipper and Mabel too. I haven’t heard from any of them since yesterday morning! What’s going on?”
“Um, I don’t know…” Pearl admitted as Garnet came to stand beside her. “I don’t understand your human relationships. So, uh… goodbye!”
With that, the screen door slammed shut right in Connie’s face. As surprised as she was, she knew she wouldn’t get the answers she was looking for from the Gems anyway. Her questions were ones only Steven, Dipper, and Mabel could answer–
Or at least they could if she could actually get in touch with any of them.
That was exactly why she’d made the trek all the way out here in the first place. After what felt like the hundredth missed call, she figured it was finally time to go straight to the source of the troubling message she’d gotten yesterday. A message that, as short as it may have been, left her fearing for all three of her closest friends’ lives.
All she really wanted to know is if they were all alright, a simple question that should have had a simple answer. Steven, unfortunately, wasn’t making it very simple for her to get an answer at all. Connie had no idea how many voicemails she must have left him, begging him to pick up, to tell her what was happening, to just talk to her. But for whatever reason, he wouldn’t.
But if he wouldn’t, that didn’t mean she couldn’t get the full story from someone else. And as she headed down the stairs and spared a glance down at the shack, she knew just who to go to for the truth she was so desperate to find.
And Connie wasn’t going to let anyone, even her best friends, keep her from that truth any longer than they already had.
Mabel had no idea how long she’d been lying listlessly in bed by the time Stan suddenly shouted up to her, startling her up. “Mabel! Get down here–now!”
“Oh,” she whispered, her eyes wide as she glanced over at Waddles. “He sounds maaaaad. H-he… he doesn’t know, does he? Do you think he knows? How would he have found out–we didn’t–W-we promised we wouldn’t tell-”
“Come on, kid!” Stan impatiently cut in. “Don’t make me come up there myself! I’m too old to be climbing up stairs all the time and you’ve got two legs that aren’t broken, so hurry it up!”
“C-coming!” Mabel swallowed hard; there was nothing she could do now but go down there and face the music. Still, it sure would be nice if she didn’t have to face it all on her own.
She found Stan waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, his arms crossed and a scowl resting on his face. “It’s about time. I was starting to think you were playing dead up there. By the way, where’s your brother?”
“Uh, I-I… h-he…” Mabel bit her lip. She couldn’t just tell him–the truth would come along with way too many questions she had no real answers to. So instead, she lied, just like she’d been doing all day. She lied, just like she feared she’d have to keep doing for the rest of her life. “I guess he’s still in town? O-or he might be hanging out with Steven, I… I really don’t know. Sorry…”
If Stan didn’t believe her, he didn’t let it show as he simply shrugged and headed for the kitchen. “Oh well. Guess he’s just gonna miss out then.”
“Miss out on what?” Mabel asked as she followed after him.
Stan finally cracked a smile as he stopped just shy of the kitchen to block Mabel’s view of it. “On this.” His smile only widened as he stepped aside to let her see exactly what he’d set up for her.
“Surprise!” Soos cheered as he blew on a party horn. He threw a hand out to the table, filled to the brim with sweets and snacks lined up in a messy, yet colorful display. The rest of the kitchen was in a similar state, complete with poorly-hung streamers and semi-inflated balloons. Still, plenty of effort had been put into all of this, something that Stan and Soos were both proud of as they admired their handiwork.
“Eh, we had some supplies left over from that party a few weeks ago,” Stan explained. “I noticed you’ve been down in the dumps for whatever reason, so I just figured we’d put a little something together to try and perk you up already. Ya know, not ‘cause, I-I care or anything. But because I can’t have two mopey kids hanging around here. It’s bad for business, o-or something like that.”
“Wait, Mr. Pines,” Soos cut in, confused. “Didn’t you say we did all this to try and cheer Mabel and Dipper up because you were worried about them and wanted them to feel better? ‘Cause I thought all that stuff was pretty sweet, to be honest.”
“Can it, Soos!” Stan scolded, flustered. “So, uh, yeah,” he turned back to Mabel, rubbing the back of his neck. “You into all this, kid, or not? ‘Cause if not, then I can always just sell this stuff for way more than it took me to make any of it. Because inflation, or some other kinda economical nonsense, I-I don’t know.”
He waited for what felt like forever for Mabel to say something, to even just react at all to any of this. But instead, she simply stood there, a stunned look on her face, but little else to let him in on how she might’ve been feeling. And the longer it went on for, the more concerned Stan started to get. “Uh? Mabel? You in there, kid?” he asked, stepping closer to her. His brow furrowed when he saw her bottom lip begin to tremble, when he saw the very first hints of tears welling up in her eyes. “K-kid, what’s-”
Even if he saw it coming, nothing could have prepared Stan for the sorrowful scream Mabel let out. Nothing could have prepared him for the way her miserable sobs filled every last inch of the shack.
Nothing could have prepared him to watch his niece fall apart right in front of him.
Stan exchanged an alarmed glance with Soos, only to find he was every bit as clueless as he was. This was something different, something new, something terrifying, if he was perfectly honest with himself. But the second he watched Mabel crumble to her knees, crushed by her own inexplicable grief, Stan suddenly, somehow knew exactly what to do.
“Oh, Mabel, sweetie-” he dropped to his knees, pulling her into a tight hug. She sobbed into his shoulder as he rubbed comforting circles into her back, trying his best to calm her down. “Pumpkin, w-what the matter?! Don’t you like the party? Ugh, I knew we should have just gone and raided a store for some real cupcakes instead of just trying to do it ourselves like a bunch of clueless bozos! Soos! Why didn’t you-”
“N-no!” Mabel finally said something between her broken tears. “G-Grunkle Stan, I love the party! I-I love all the streamers and the b-balloons and h-how you tried to put l-little smiley faces on the c-cupcakes even if they all look sorta gross and m-melty and I j-just… I love how much work you put into all this, a-and that you cared enough to do it in the first place, a-and Dipper would love it too if he was-”
She cut herself off with another sharp cry, words failing her all together as she bundled her fists tightly into Stan’s suit. He didn’t dare let go of her, keeping his voice as soft and soothing as he could manage as he gently reassured her. “Shh, it’s ok, sweetie. I-I got ya. It’s all gonna be alright. Just let it all out.”
“L-let it all out…” Mabel repeated in a whimper. She really didn’t have much of a choice now, did she? Maybe it was finally time to tell him–to tell anyone the truth–for better or worse. “G-Grunkle Stan? Can… can I tell you something?”
“Of course,” Stan nodded. “Like I said, if something’s bothering you, I want you to tell me about it. Especially if whatever it is is makin’ you bawl your eyes out like this.”
Mabel sniffled, still resting her head against his shoulder as she started slow. At least, at first. “Grunkle Stan, I didn’t really hurt my leg getting into Soos’ truck.”
“O-oh?” Stan exchanged a brief, knowing glance with Soos.
“No, I, um…” She paused to take in a deep breath.
And when she let that breath out, she pried the floodgates wide open along with it.
“S-so, we were leaving town, just like you wanted us to, but then Steven crashed out of Mr. Universe’s van and said he was coming back here to help the Gems and me and Dipper talked him into taking us back with him, so we got back just as the giant green hand got here and these two mean Gems named Peridot and Jasper got off of it and Jasper split Garnet in half with this weird zappy wand thing and she captured Pearl, and Amethyst, and Lapis, and Steven, but when me and Dipper tried to stop her, she beat us up and that’s why my leg is all messed up, but then the ship started to leave so we used my grappling hook to sneak onto it to save Steven and the others and it was really cool but also really scary, and then we found this other Gem named Sapphire, whose girlfriend is a Gem named Ruby, and they fused and it turns out there were really Garnet all along, which was awesome, and then Garnet fought Jasper and broke the ship and it crashed near the lake, but Steven kept all of us safe in a bubble, but then Jasper popped up out of the broken ship bits and she convinced Lapis to fuse with her into this scary Gem called Malachite, but before she could totally destroy all of us with water, Lapis dragged both of them into the lake and she’s keeping them trapped down there and that’s why Dipper hasn’t been around–he’s been at the lake because he blames himself for what happened to her, and the reason I didn’t wanna tell you about any of this is because when Steven told his dad, he totally freaked out and I didn’t want you to freak out too and I’m sorry Grunkle Stan!”
She finally took in a much-needed breath, though she hardly stayed silent for long as sobs overtook her all over again. “I’m so, so, so, so, so, so sorry for not telling you! Trying to hide all of this stuff from you has been the worst and I was scared you’d send me and Dipper home ‘cause we didn’t listen to you, and I-I didn’t know what else to do, and I’m sorry! This was so bad and it feels so bad and what I did was so bad and I… I-I just-”
She couldn’t keep it together any longer than she already had. She broke down crying again, burying her face back into Stan’s shoulder as he simply sat there, stunned by everything she’d just told him. She’d got it all out so rapidly, so frantically, that there’d barely been any time to soak any of it in. But he figured he got the gist of it; and from how Mabel was acting–
The gist was that they’d all had one hell of a night.
“Whoa, uh, that’s kind of a big load you just dropped on me there, kid,” he said when he finally found his voice again.
“I know,” Mabel muttered weakly. “I’m sorry…”
“Aw, geez, will you quit apologizing already?” Stan patted her on the back. “I get it: you’re sorry. You don’t have to keep harping on about it, especially when there’s nothin’ for you to even be sorry about to begin with.”
“Huh?” Mabel pulled back, her face still damp with tears. “But… but aren’t you mad?”
“Mad? About what?”
“We didn’t listen to you!” Mabel insisted, adamant. “You wanted us to leave with everyone else, but we came back and we nearly died doing it! Y-you were right, Grunkle Stan. We really were in over our heads with all this Gem stuff. I-I… I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to send us home… We’re causing you way more trouble than you deserve…”
Stan could only let out a long, tired sigh when he heard this. “Kid, I already have so much trouble in my life; a little more isn’t gonna make things much worse.” He smiled a bit as he gently thumbed some of her tears away. “So calm down and quit worrying. I’m not going to send either of you runts home.”
“R-really?”
“Really,” Stan nodded as his smile widened “And I’m not mad about all this either. Mostly, I’m just kinda shocked. You two really snuck onto an alien spaceship? All by yourselves?”
Mabel nodded, pouting, only to be caught off guard when Stan snorted out a laugh.“Wow. I thought I was the master of breaking n’ entering; that’s something on a whole other level! You kids really showed those Homeworld chumps who’s boss, huh?”
“W-well, I don’t know if I’d say that…” Mabel rubbed her arm. “But Peridot was really mad when we tied her up and took over her ship… So, I guess that was pretty cool…”
“Ha! Sounds like it!” Stan ruffled her hair. It was just enough to finally get her smiling, finally get her laughing again after all this time. “I wish I could’ve been there to see it! You gotta bring me along with you the next time so I can get in on the action too! Those punks would have been no match for my brass knuckles.”
“Heck no, they wouldn’t have!” Mabel enthusiastically agreed. “I bet if you had bopped Jasper right in the face, she would have gone down, just like that!” She lightly punched Stan on the shoulder to prove her point. He laughed along with her, and so did Soos. As sure a sign as any that maybe, just maybe, things might be able to go back to normal, to the way they were supposed to be, after all.
“Grunkle Stan, I’m really sorry about trying to hide all this stuff from you,” Mabel sighed as she wiped the last of her tears dry. “I was just worried about how you’d react and-”
“Kid, what did I tell you about saying sorry so much?” Stan interrupted, grinning.
“Oh, right! Sorry!” Mabel gasped, covering her mouth. “Oh, there I go again! Sorry! Aw, dangit! I just can’t stop!”
Another round of laughter filled the kitchen as Stan stood and glanced back at the treat-filled table. “Well, we got all this junk food laid out; we might as well go ahead and enjoy it.”
“Aw, yes!” Soos eagerly grabbed a cupcake. “Standing here looking at all this food has made me so hungry, dude! I don’t care if these cupcakes are sloppy and lame, they look like the best things ever right now!”
“Not so fast, Soos,” Stan stopped him before he could take a bite. “We’re still one short. Mabel, go down to the lake and get your brother. Oh, and while you’re at it, tell him you two are ungrounded from all that mystery hunting junk. I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear that.”
“I’m sure he will,” Mabel returned with a hopeful smile. She didn’t waste anymore time, rushing for the door and throwing it open, only to find someone already standing on the other side, preparing to knock. “Connie!” she cheered, catching her up in an unexpected hug. “It’s so good to see you! You missed out on a lot, and I mean a lot-”
“I know,” Connie huffed as they pulled apart. “Or more accurately–I don’t know, because nobody will tell me anything!”
Mabel’s smile faded into confusion when she heard this. “You mean… Steven hasn’t told you yet?”
“I haven’t been able to get in touch with Steven since this morning,” Connie shook her head. “He won’t answer his phone, no matter how many times I call him. I just checked up at the temple, and the Gems said he wasn’t there either. I’m really starting to worry about him…”
“Hm…” Mabel perched a hand to her chin in thought. “I haven’t heard from him most of the day either, but… I think I know where he might be. Dipper too, actually.”
“W-well, then what are we waiting for?” Connie grabbed Mabel’s wrist to bring her along. To help her piece together a puzzle she was desperate to complete. “Let’s go find them both.”
“Whoa…” Connie stared, baffled, out the window of Soos’ truck as it pulled up to the lake shore. He dropped her and Mabel off, leaving them to their “mission” as they ventured into the green wreckage glinting in the sunlight. “This is where it all happened?”
“Most of it, yeah. Everything else happened… up there,” Mabel nodded up to the sky. She’d already filled Connie in on the broad strokes of the story, each more alarming than the last. Still, she took it all surprisingly well. Or at least as well as anyone could be expected to for how overwhelming it all really was.
“You guys really were up in space…” Connie said, bewildered. Mabel simply nodded; even several hours later, she could scarcely believe it all herself. “So…” Connie frowned as she skimmed a hand against a piece of debris. “Why would Steven and Dipper still be here with… all this?”
Mabel didn’t get the chance to answer before they both rounded a corner, only to find one of the two boys in question. Dipper had his back to them as he paced around, using a stick to sketch something into the sand, though neither of them could make out what it was. Likewise, they only caught bits and pieces of what he was whispering to himself, his brow furrowed in deep concentration as he toiled away on some sort of scheme.
“Ok, maybe if I just–No, that’ll never work. But if I could just come up with some way to–Oh, I don’t know!” He groaned, running a hand through his hair. “First I’ve got to get down there without drowning before even thinking about splitting them up, so maybe I should just-”
“Uh, Dipper…?” Mabel finally decided to cut in.
“M-Mabel! Connie!” He spun around to face the girls, his eyes wide with surprise as he rushed to cover up what he’d been working on. “W-what are you guys doing here?”
“Looking for you and Steven,” Connie took a small step forward. She tried peering past him to see what he’d drawn in the sand, but he wasn’t keen on letting either of them get a clear view of it. “What have you been doing?”
“N-nothing!” Dipper snapped, flustered. He spread his arms out a bit wider, only for Mabel to all but shove her way past him to finally get a better look.
“Were you doing math in the sand? For fun?” she couldn’t help but snicker. “Oh my gosh, bro-bro, you’re such a nerd sometimes! And here I was, thinking you were out here ‘cause of Lapis, but-”
“This is for Lapis.”
Mabel swiftly fell silent, her smile disappearing when she heard that. “What?”
Dipper sighed, his shoulders dropping as he gave up the ghost. “I’ve been… trying to come up with a way to help her. That’s what all this is about,” he motioned to his sand drawings and equations. “I thought… I don’t know, maybe I could figure something out to split her and Jasper up, to get her back up here safely, but, so far…”
“No luck?” Connie filled in where he trailed off.
Dipper shook his head as he let out a bitter, joyless laugh. “Who do I think I’m kidding? How am I ever gonna get through to an insane, hatred-filled fusion chained to the bottom of a lake when I couldn’t stop any of this from even happening in the first place?! This is all so stupid, I know it is, but I-I can’t just let her stay down there and suffer like that, all because of me! I have to do something, I just… don’t know what…”
His voice softened on a sad sigh as he rushed to wipe the tears from his eyes that were dangerously close to falling. He kept his solemn sights set on the ground, unable to even think about looking at the lake. At the biggest reminder of what he’d caused, of what he knew he’d never be able to fix, no matter how hard he tried. But then-
He felt a hand come to rest on his arm. When he looked up, he found Mabel, offering him a smile–sad, yet sincere all at once. “Well, no wonder you haven’t been able to figure anything out. You’ve been out here trying to do this all on your own!”
“That’s because I have to, Mabel,” Dipper insisted as he pulled his arm away. “Lapis is down there with Jasper all on her own, s-so I have to–I-I deserve to be-”
“Please, don’t say that, Dipper,” Mabel quickly cut him off. “You’re not as alone as you always think you’ve gotta be. I’m with you on this. We all are, right Connie?”
“That’s right,” Connie rested a steady hand on his shoulder. “We’ll all pitch in to help you figure something out, Dipper. We are a team after all, aren’t we?”
Dipper hesitated to meet the warm smiles they were both sending his way. No matter what they said, he felt like he still didn’t deserve what they were offering him. When he thought about what Lapis was putting herself through for his sake, honestly, he thought he deserved much worse. But maybe this wasn’t about him.
This was about Lapis. And Dipper knew–he was ready to do whatever it took and get help from whoever he had to, all to set her free.
“I… O-ok,” he finally shared their smiles–even if his never quite reached his eyes. Even if guilt and grief were both still weighing it down. “We’ll find a way to help her–together.”
“That’s the spirit!” Mabel cheered, swinging an arm over his shoulder. “We’ll get started right away! Or at least, we will after we track down Steven.”
“Oh yeah,” Dipper raised an eyebrow as he glanced around the shore. “Where is he anyway?”
“You mean you don’t know?” Connie asked, worried.
Dipper shook his head, every bit as clueless as the girls were. “I haven’t seen him since earlier.”
“Steven!” Mabel took the initiative in calling for him. “Steven, are you out here!? You’re like, the only one of us who hasn’t had a satisfying emotional resolution yet!”
Unsurprisingly, they got no response. Connie huffed, annoyed, as she pulled out her phone. “I guess he wants to do this the hard way, then…”
They all paused to listen for a familiar ringtone ringing across the shore. It didn’t take them long to catch it, along with a sharp thud that rattled one of the larger pieces of debris. Connie was the first to actually spot Steven, darting between two larger chunks of metal in the distance. “There he is!” she pointed him out to the twins. “Steven, wait up!”
To their surprise, Steven didn’t slow down–in fact, he didn’t so much as even glance back at any of them at all. Instead, he hurried even further away from them, away from the three people he wanted nothing more than to be close to. But what he wanted didn’t matter anymore. It couldn’t, not when he knew all too well what he could lose.
Not when he stood a chance at ever losing the ones he longed to cling onto the most.
“Steven!” Connie shouted for him again as a chase gave way. They darted through the rubble, barely managing to keep track of him at all. Still, they weren’t about to let Steven give them the slip so easily. They couldn’t as long as there were so many questions left unanswered, so many things left unsaid.
By the time they reached a break in the debris, Steven had practically disappeared. They stopped short, exchanging a confused glance as they tried to spot him hiding anywhere nearby. “Ok, this is getting weird…” Dipper noted with a frown. “Steven was acting… well, I wouldn’t call it ‘ok’ when I ran into him earlier, but he definitely wasn’t acting anything like… this.”
“M-maybe he’s not running from us,” Mabel guessed. “Maybe he’s just trying to run from his feelings instead! Only he’s doing that… literally, for some reason. Steven!” she called once more. “It’s ok! You don’t have to keep all of that heavy junk inside! You can come out and talk to us about it! We know exactly how you feel, trust me!”
If anything, however, hearing this only made Steven feel even worse than he already did. He pulled himself up even tighter against the chunk of metal he was sheltering behind, fighting back against the suffocating guilt rising in his chest. Guilt that only stood to strangle him even more when he heard what Connie had to say next.
“Steven, this is ridiculous!” she shouted, adamant. “Why are you avoiding us?! Are you in trouble? Is something wrong? D-did… Did I do something wrong?”
No! He wanted to tell her, more than anything. It wasn’t her, it could never be her, or Dipper, or Mabel. It was him, it had always been him. Before any of this had even begun, he’d always been the only one to blame.
“Steven, come on!” Mabel urged. “You can’t keep hiding from us forever! You have to come out and tell us what’s wrong!”
“She’s right,” Dipper firmly agreed. “You told me earlier that you’d be right here to help me if I needed it–well, right now, we’re here to help you. You just have to let us. Please.”
Steven buried his face in his hands, nearly in tears by now. He didn’t deserve them, he never had. Their care, their kindness, their compassion–none of that was meant for him after what he’d done, after all of the danger he’d dragged them into.
None of that could ever be his–and neither could any of them.
As if on cue, his phone rang again, despite his best efforts to silence it. Connie tensed up when she heard his ringtone, refusing to give up on him–now or ever. “Steven, we know you’re here!” Why are you hiding from us?! From me?!”
Shockingly, she actually got an answer. Her phone buzzed with a new text from Steven, one that carried a message meant for all three of them: “I don’t want to be friends anymore.”
“What?” the twins exchanged a startled glance. Connie, however, wasn’t about to leave it at that. She barely held back a sob as she dialed Steven up one final time. And this time, for the first time all day, he finally decided to answer her.
At first, only silence filled the other end of the line. “S-Steven?” Connie questioned all the same.
“I can’t be with you anymore,” he finally spoke, his voice stern and resolved. “Any of you. I have a destiny–one that none of you can be a part of.”
“Steven, that makes no sense,” Dipper shook his head, incredulous. “Since when have you ever cared about ‘destiny’ and all that stuff anyway?”
Steven didn’t have much else to say beyond a short and simple, “I do now.”
Connie couldn’t take it anymore. Her tears had long since reached the surface, and they only kept coming, fueled by anger and despair alike as she shouted, “Come out here and say that to my face, to all our faces! Say you don’t want to be friends anymore! If you can do that… If you can do that, then I’ll leave you alone. All three of us will! But we won’t believe it until you say it to our faces!”
“Look!” Mabel pointed to the top of the hand ship’s broken thumb as it stuck up out of the sand. There, standing atop it, was none other than Steven, his face drowned out of sight by shadow.
For what felt like forever, he didn’t move a muscle, and neither did anyone staring up at him from below. When Steven finally leapt from his perch to stand before them, Connie was the first to speak up, to demand what could make or break their friendship altogether. “Well?”
None of them were quite sure what they’d been expecting out of him. But they certainly weren’t expecting his face awash in tears when he finally glanced up and sobbed, “I still wanna be friends with you guys!”
Connie’s anger completely fizzled out the moment she so much as caught sight of his injured face. “Steven, your eye! What happened to you?!”
“M-my eye… it… it’s nothing,” Steven glanced away, tears still streaming down his cheeks. “I didn’t want you guys to worry about it.”
“Steven, I’ve been worried sick about you for the past two days,” Connie said, exasperated. “What do you think I’m doing here?”
“Honestly, we were all pretty worried about you,” Dipper crossed his arms. “What’s the deal with you trying to flat-out ignore us like that?”
“I-I’m sorry…” Steven sniffled. “I just… I just wanted to protect you guys, and-”
“Stop,” Connie cut him off as she rested a supportive hand on his shoulder. “Just tell me everything.”
And so, he did. They all did.
They took a seat on the shore to share their story with Connie, leaving no detail unmentioned or stone unturned. From the invasion to the jailbreak to the crash to the aftermath, she got to hear it all, both good and bad. Somewhere in the middle of it all, Steven made sure to finally heal the injuries they’d all sustained–and his own eye included. Still, that hardly swept away all of the shadows last night had left behind. It hardly healed the kind of pain that would last long after the dust finally settled and the debris was cleared.
But still, if nothing else, it was a start. And maybe right now, that’s all they really needed.
“So, let me get this straight…” Connie began, carefully taking in everything they’d told her. “Lapis and Jasper are somewhere underwater…”
“Yeah,” Steven nodded sadly. “A-and Peridot escaped while the ship was coming down. She could be anywhere…”
“That is a lot to take in…” Connie said, her eyes wide as she stared out at the lake.
“Tell us about it…” Mabel heaved a tired sigh.
“There’s still one thing I don’t get though…” Dipper frowned over at Steven. “I guess I understand why you were hiding from Connie, but why were you hiding from me and Mabel? We already knew about all of this stuff; heck, we lived through it. So, why were you trying to shut us out too?”
Steven made no effort to hide the remorse, or the fear, in his voice as he looked away from the twins. “Y-you guys could have really gotten hurt. I mean, you did get hurt, but you could have… I could have lost-”
He drew in a shaky breath, only narrowly holding back tears as he started again. “You two put yourselves in so much danger to try and help me. A-and if something had happened to either of you, I… I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself… So, I was just trying to keep you from feeling like you ever had to do something like that again. I guess I didn't really do a very good job of that though, huh?”
“Aw, Steven!” Mabel crooned, blushing. “Did you really think you could ever stop us from caring about you? Sorry to say, but that’s never gonna happen–ever.”
“That’s right,” Dipper soundly agreed. “We didn’t feel like we had to save you. We did it because we wanted to! You would have done the same for us, wouldn’t you?”
“Of course, I would have!” Steven insisted without a second thought.
“See? That’s just it!” Mabel said, smiling. “Looking out for each other is just what the four of us do! I mean, could you imagine how boring things would be if the four of us weren’t friends? That’d be way worse than almost dying on an alien spaceship, for sure!”
They shared a laugh at this, one that they all so desperately needed to ease the tension between them. Every bit as much as they needed each other to get through this, and every moment after.
“Thanks, you guys,” Steven rubbed his arm sheepishly. “I guess I never thought of things like that before…”
“Well, you should from now on,” Dipper warmly encouraged. “Because no matter what comes next, we’ll all face it together.”
“Yeah! Together!” Mabel cheered, throwing her hand out to the others. Dipper and Connie were the first to pile theirs on, but Steven still hesitated all the same.
“I can’t ask you guys to do that…” he shook his head, worried.
“We want to, Steven,” Connie firmly assured. “I—I mean, we want to be part of your universe!”
The twins were just as quick to agree. Steven paused as he looked between the three of them, his face warm as he felt something stirring inside of his chest. Something sweet and soft and suddenly new. That feeling only grew when he completed the pile, placing his hands on top of theirs as he shared the smile they were all so eager to give him. And that feeling sparked even brighter still when he soon found himself locked tight in the middle of a group hug that he didn’t want to ever end.
It ultimately did, however, as Greg’s van pulled up to the lake. “Kiddo!” he called, sticking his head out the window. The easy-going smile on his face stood in stark contrast to the last time Steven had seen him–so stressed and distraught. “There you are! Hey, Connie, Dipper, Mabel. Do you kids need a ride back to the shack? Mr. Pines actually just called me a little while ago; he said something about some cupcakes and cookies going to waste?”
“Oh man, I totally forgot about that party Grunkle Stan set up for us!” Mabel gasped. “Dipper, you should have seen it! He put up streamers and balloons and tried to put little faces on the cupcakes even though they didn’t really work out, but it was so sweet!”
“Weird,” Dipper smirked. “The word ‘sweet’ usually isn’t what I think of when someone mentions Grunkle Stan.”
“Well, what he did totally was sweet. You’ll see when we get back,” Mabel perked up as she turned to the others. “Steven, Connie, you guys come too! I’m sure there’s plenty of junk food to go around!”
“Sure,” Connie chuckled fondly. “Sounds like fun.”
“Yeah,” Steven agreed, though his smile fell a bit when he looked back at his father. “Dad, are you doing ok? You seem a lot calmer than you were earlier…”
“Eh, I got it out of my system,” Greg shrugged, grinning. “Now I’m back to being your cool dad!”
The kids all laughed as they accepted Greg’s offer, piling into the van before it left the battered lake shore behind. Along the way to the shack, they could see that even more townsfolk had returned, all of them more than ready to pick up right where they left off.
Mr. Smiley was as chipper as ever as he swept up the broken glass in front of Funland Arcade, while just across the street, Toby Determined tried and failed to sell the latest edition of the Gravity Falls Gossiper. Lazy Susan had already reopened Greasy’s Dinner, where several folks were lining up for dinner, while Fryman recruited both of his sons to help fix the broken letters of his shop’s sign. McGucket chased his racoon wife down the street as several of the teens casually cruised by in Jenny’s car. At the Big Donut, Lars and Sadie readjusted the outside seating, though it was clear they’d be back to business soon as Blubbs and Durland pulled into the parking lot for some coffee and pastries.
The more the kids watched on from the van’s windows, the brighter their smiles became. The invasion had come and caused what damage it could, but in the end, none of that damage proved permanent. The people of Gravity Falls were moving on, cleaning up the messes and carrying on with their lives.
Maybe it was time for the four of them to do the same.
In just a single day and night, so much had changed, in so many ways they still didn’t fully understand. But as they sat together, hands intertwined in a promise worth holding onto, riding through the town they all cared so much about, just as they had so many times before–
It was as if nothing had really changed at all.
Notes:
Next time, let's set the stage....
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