Silk and Linen

by GrandmasBrisketBasket

Summary:

Voryn Dagoth is quiet, pensive, and most of all focused on getting his degree as quickly as possible so he can return to Kogoruhn. To normalcy. To the things he recognizes and knows. That is until he has a fleeting moment with a blue-eyed mer, and ends up being consumed by him entirely.

Chapter 1: Mudcrabs and Marriage

Notes:

That one Waffle House fic got me thinking about modern morrowind au and it was only a matter of time before i caved and put these two idiots on a college campus

 

Mudcrabs and Marriage 

Voryn Dagoth stood in the music club's practice room and glared at the grand piano in front of him as if he made to burn it down with the power of his stare alone. It was his fault really, and that was the worst part. He couldn't even blame the accident on anyone! All he could do was replay the embarrassing moment he decided to move the piano by his lonesome and broke it. 

The leg had snapped and buckled from the friction of being dragged across the carpet, and because the lid had been open when he moved it, threw the delicate guts of the piano skittering across the room. Snapping wires and splitting hammers and scraping keys. 

"So," Vivec made a point to sip his iced drink loudly once the dust had settled. "What now? Don't suppose you can strum the broken strings with a viola bow, can you?" He remarked dryly, kicking a splinter of wood to the side. 

Voryn dug his nails into his palms. He was painfully aware of all the eyes staring at him, the voices murmuring, the thrumming in his chest. If you had told him he was having a heart attack, he'd believe you without a second guess. An elbow dug into his side.

"Hey," Vivec had moved closer, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Unclench your butthole, I was just joking. That piano is probably from the merethic era anyway, it was on its way out the door. You just...sped up the process."

"I'll grab a broom!" Kijhu hissed out, scaly tail disappearing down the hallway. 

"Don't stand there like a s'wit, help us pick up!" Aben scolded.

Voryn hadn't even noticed that people had moved to start cleaning up the mess. He promptly sprung into action, slightly frantic as he gathered scraps of wood and metal to dump into the trashcan. Just then, the teacher presiding over the music club that day walked in. 

"What in the ten hells?" She balked. "How did the piano break?"

"It's my fault sera," Vivec called out. "I tried to move it and the fucker broke." 

It was Voryn's turn to balk, as that wasn't the truth at all. Voryn had been the one insisting he could move the piano alone and Vivec didn't even touch the damn thing! But the lie sounded so innocent and casual falling from his lips, that even the people who had witnessed the incident didn't say anything to contradict it. 

"Vivec, you fucking know better!" She scolded. "I have explicitly told you all that moving the piano is a two-person job at least! It should be three given the constitution of you lot." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Regardless, we'll have to do without for now. I can see about a replacement later. Maybe the jazz kids have an extra upright they can lend us..."

"Great!" Vivec grabbed his drink and his bag and started for the door. "Glad that's all resolved, I'll see y'all next week. C'mon Voryn."

"Excuse me?" Aben hissed. "What the fuck? Where do you think you're going?"

He stopped just before the door. "I've been yelled at, the piano is broken, and my mood is ruined. Do you expect me to play my best under these conditions? You would feed a plant acid and expect it to bloom?"

Vivec didn't have a 'team' mentality when it came to things. It was always himself first with no exceptions. If he wasn't one of the best harp players in Resdayn he would've been kicked out of the club long before this day. But, alas, they needed his talents and he knew that, and he used it to his advantage. So he turned and left without so much as another word, knowing that they wouldn't dare do shit about it. 

After many hurried apologies to the people in the room, Voryn grabbed his things and started after Vivec, glad for an excuse to escape. 

"You didn't have to cover for me like that, really. It's not that big of a deal." Voryn mumbled. 

"Oh please." Vivec took a cigarette from behind his ear and lit it with a match. "You would've pissed yourself and started crying if you had been yelled at like that. And as thoroughly arousing as the sight would've been, I'm feeling charitable today."

"Arousing?" Voryn squeaked in surprise, unsure if he heard the other correctly. 

Vivec ignored him, instead taking out his phone and checking his notifications, the lit cigarette loose between his lips as he typed with one hand. 

"My roommates are requesting an energy drink run, wanna come with?"

"...sure."

Voryn followed him numbly. Sure he knew Vivec, he saw him twice a week at music club - three if they had rehearsals - but he wasn't considered a friend. At least Voryn didn't. He scrubbed his mind for a reason as to why Vivec would invite him to spend time together but came up empty. Regardless, it would be beneficial to have Vivec as a friend, even if he was trying at times. Vivec had a lot of connections in the college, some more unsavory than others, but connections nonetheless, and they might come in handy for Voryn.

The Great College of Mournhold, or just The College if you don't have much time, was actually several different institutions haphazardly welded together by a barely functioning bureaucracy. It started out as a school for Medicine and Restoration, before branching out to other sciences and eventually encompassing any and all fields one could hope to study. It even boasted one of the best (albeit smallest) business schools this side of the Inner Sea. 

The campus was massive, spanning multiple buildings, and was large enough to warrant the use of guild guides to cross from one end to the other. There was even a silt strider line that ran from the dorms to Brindisi Plaza so that students could do shopping and whatnot. The campus itself sat a substantial distance outside the walls of Mournhold Proper, nestled like a boil on the side of the city. Shops, apartments, and even a concert venue nearby, and beyond that the rest of the city's neighborhoods. 

After a round of cussing out the vending machine and a trip through the guild guide, they made it to the environmental sciences wing of the campus. Voryn was surely lost at this point, as he had only ever set foot in this area once during a campus tour years ago. He spent all his time in the Fine Arts and Music Halls, occasionally the medical wing when he went to visit Almalexia and study with her, and this part of the college was practically foreign to him. 

This area of the campus was more recently built and still smelled of fresh brick and mortar. The tile was only slightly dirty, as opposed to the worn and melted mosaics of the older parts of the college. It was bright, and every veritable surface you could conceive of sat either a potted plant, sculpture, or tableau displaying migratory flight patterns and restoration efforts.

He thought that a department of sciences would be neat and organized but this...was organic in a way he couldn't quite describe. It was a fantastic departure from the austere halls he was used to. 

Round several corners and up a flight of stairs, the pair arrived at a room. '406 Laboratory' a placard read beside the door. Vivec didn't even knock before entering, which Voryn found quite rude. 

"Helooo~" Vivec called out in a singsong-y voice. 

"Is that the sound of libations I hear?" A voice called out from a table. 

He was a young Chimer with long grey hair down to his shoulders. He hunched over some kind of machinery, dwemeri from what Voryn could make out. Long oak tables with lacquered tops spanned the length of the room. There were tanks filled with fish and other critters, and shelves filled to the brim with jars of specimens. 

"Rejoice! Libations upon ye!" Vivec tossed a can across the room, and the Chimer dutifully caught it and set it between his legs to hold it steady while he popped the tab of the can. 

As Voryn stepped into the room, he could see why. His left arm was gone from below the elbow, and Voryn immediately everted his eyes, lest he be impolite. 

"Where's Neht?" Vivec asked. "I got him that stupid Aedric Energy he wanted."

The grey-haired Chimer gestured to the table on the other side of the room. "He's got his headphones in, you'll have to kick him."

Vivec groaned and walked over. He looked down at the ground, clearly contemplating something. He held up the can and dropped it. It made a resounding thud as it collided with its target, and was followed by a cry. 

"AAH! Fuck was that for?"

"Think you meant to say 'you're welcome',"

"What're you doin here? I thought you had band or some shit."

"Read your phone dingus."

The mer stood up and stretched. He was faced away from Voryn but he could tell he was Velothi, given the tattoo on the back of his neck. His clothes were that of a standard college student, worn t-shirt and all, but the piercings adorning his ears were made of chitin and bone, as opposed to the precious metals favored by their urban cousins. His hair was white and fluffy, cut into a half-mohawk-half-mullet style that fell to about his shoulder blades. 

"What the fuck? How the hell do you break a piano that bad?!?" 

Vivec jutted his chin in Voryn's direction. "Ask him,"

He turned around and looked at Voryn and he thought for a moment that he had been punched. He was incredibly beautiful, with sharp blue eyes that ripped through Voryn like a hot knife through flesh. Two small rings adorned either side of his lower lip, and a crescent shape hung from his septum. The mer flashed a lopsided grin, and it was all Voryn could do not to blush. 

"What did the piano insult your mom or something?"

Voryn said nothing because he wasn't sure he would say what he wanted to if he opened his mouth. 

"I tease! Accidents happen. Azura knows I've broken enough tanks and equipment to fund a trip to High Rock!" He laughed. "I'm Nerevar, by the way."

"Voryn Dagoth."

"Oh shit, aren't you the heir?" Nerevar raised his eyebrows.

Voryn just nodded in response, doing his very best to remain impassive and unreadable. Nerevar scooted up and onto the table, crossing his legs and turning to face him. 

"That over there is Sotha Sil, he's doing engineering, and I'm in the marine biology program. What about you?"

The younger mer from the table waved at Voryn, and he gave a polite smile, before returning his attention to Nerevar and Vivec. He opened his mouth to respond to Nerevar's question but before he could Vivec squealed. 

"Eek! Neht! One of your nasty pets has escaped! Put it BACK!" He clambered up onto a table in his panic, and sure enough, Voryn could see a mudcrab skittering across the floor, hissing angrily. 

Nerevar lept off his perch, scooped up the crab, and turned to Vivec looking truly hurt. 

"He's not nasty!" He patted the top of the crab, and Voryn was surprised it didn't try to bite or pinch him. "Don't listen to him, he's just jealous he's not as pretty as you,"

"If I didn't know any better I'd say that you're aiming to marry the wretched thing!" Vivec spat, still sitting on the table. 

"He'd make a better husband than you!" 

"Excuse me?!?"

The pair went back and forth, arguing about how and why someone should (or should not) marry a mudcrab. Voryn watched the scene play out with mild amusement before he heard someone clearing their throat right in front of him. He looked down to see Sotha, sitting in a wheelchair. 

"I'm Sotha, it's nice to meet you."

Voryn gave him another polite nod before looking away. 

"Hey!" Sotha sounded terse and annoyed. "I'm not a fucking gargoyle, you can look at me. You act as if I'm going to put a curse on you."

A small amount of panic rose in Voryn's chest, forcing his mask to slip slightly. "I-I'm sorry! I just've never-"

"Save it. Whatever you're about to say I've already heard and I can guarantee you it's going to just piss me off even further."

Voryn steadied himself and considered his next words carefully. Finally, he met the other mer's eyes. 

"You're right, my apologies. I should have acknowledged you when you introduced yourself the first time." Sotha seemed pleased at that, and his smile returned. "You're an engineer, right? Are you focused on anything in particular?" 

Sotha's eyes flashed with a quiet excitement and motioned for Voryn to follow as he wheeled back to the table with the Dwemer contraption. He couldn’t make sense of what was on the table. Wires running to and fro across a metal plate, it looked like a circuit but bore none of the modern silicones and metals they were typically made of. It was all dwemeri metal and copper wires.

"I do work in electrical engineering, and this is part of my thesis. I want to prove that circuits using magicka are just as viable as electronics, if not better.”

“What’s wrong with electronics?”

”Nothing, they’re great. They do a lot of good in the right hands, but they have their issues. For one, they need a lot more work and effort to work under water or in extreme temperatures. There’s also the fact that they warp over time when in prolonged contact with magical currents.”

”What? I thought the whole ‘magic ruins your phone’ stuff was just a myth?”

”Eh, not exactly. The occasional spell won’t toast your devices, but say if you’re doing research on a magical source, or if you live in a place where the veil between the planes is thin, or if you’re wearing a powerful enough enchantment, over time the device will start to malfunction. This is at most inconvient for the average person, but when it comes to precise measuring devices and medical equipment, it can mean life or death. However, if I can get a magical circuit to work in a way that the current is secure, that won’t be an issue.”

"Have you gotten it to work?"

“…no. The circuit works, but every time I make a connection it fizzles out. The longest I’ve managed to get it to work is five minutes, then it burns through the wires and fries itself. Maybe if I could get my hands on some more Dwemer goods, I could see about fabricating some wire from it, see if that’s the reason why it keeps bugging out.”

Just then Voryn's phone buzzed in his pocket. He looked at the phone to see that Almalexia was calling him. Shit. He completely fucking forgot that he was supposed to meet her for studying after music practice today. Looking at the clock on the wall he saw that he was more than half an hour late for that. He cursed under his breath and grabbed his bag. 

"I've got to go, sorry."

And with that, he hurried out the door. 

 

Notes:

I recently got my nose pierced and the only thing keeping me sane rn is writing this fic and blasting the Ultrakill soundtrack on repeat < / 3

Chapter 2: One Mer’s Trash Is Another Mer’s Friend

Notes:

Yo guess what i figured out how italics work on this website yippee

 

The path was clear, the morning fog just barely rolling in as the sun rose and warmed the melted cobbles. It was a perfect temperature, cold enough that you won’t over heat with the shining sun ensuring you won’t freeze your butt off. 

His leg burned, his heart thundered in his chest, and pure adrenaline coursed through every nerve in his body. He had to resist the urge to pant and gasp for air, keep his breathing under control. Tired. He felt so tired and all he wanted to do was stop, but he couldn't. The ache in his lungs bade him push forward, body mind and soul craving the acrid ache in his teeth. 

His mind involuntarily flittered back to his home. His childhood. Even though he remembered so little, if he closed his eyes, and concentrated hard he could just barely catch a whiff of the pond gardens he used to play in. The smell would always be overwhelmed with blood and sulfur before he could enjoy it. The burn in his lungs as he ran was not too dissimilar to the suffocating smoke he had woken up to. 

But here he was: alive. Free. Free from his racing mind and his aching heart, free from the shackles that kept him bound to that fucking hospital bed for so many years. Free from the pain and torment that plagued his very soul. He was free. His mind was still and the only thing his heart did was keep the blood pumping. The only thing that mattered, the only thing that was keeping him from collapsing into a pathetic pile of despair, was the fact that he kept moving. 

As Sotha rounded the block, he could see the porch of the shared apartment come into view, along with the blonde haired chimer that sat on the front step. Nerevar waved as he came into view, bringing a small smile to Sotha’s lips. He slowed to a stop in front of the porch, bending down and placing his hand on his knee, the metal hinge of his running blade cool beneath his palm despite how the rest of his body melted. 

“Here,” Nerevar handed him a water bottle. 

Sotha accepted it gladly. “Thanks!”

It took all his self-control not to chug the entire water bottle, forcing himself to take small steady sips. Once he had caught his breath enough, he started up the stairs, arm slung over Nerevar’s shoulder for stability. Typically he could make it up just fine on his own, even if he had to carry his wheelchair up, but running always turned his leg to jelly and he’d had one too many falls down the steep steps to be left taking any chances. Maybe one day they’d be able to find a place that had no steps or at the very least a ramp, but places like that rarely popped up in the market, and when they did they were expensive. 

After they made it to the top of the stairs, Sotha went inside and sat on the couch. He reached down and pressed the button on the bottom of his socket, pulling the shell off his leg with a wet hiss. Sliding off the rubber sock, he groaned as he gently massaged the end of his leg. 

“You need anything else, or you good?” Nerevar asked. 

“Nah, I should be good, thank you though.” He took another sip from his water bottle. "What do you have going on today?" Sotha asked. 

"I don't have anything planned, but I’m gonna be going into work today, Kelseigh’s asking for coverage. I gotta bunch of shit I need to print and go over for my research, so I was thinking about going to campus and hanging out there for the night. Vivec's out at work all day today, he picked up another double."

Sotha snorted, gently massaging the sore end of his limb. "He's gonna kill himself if he keeps doing that."

"And he has a 'date' tonight."

He frowned at that. "I hope he's doing ok"

"Sometimes I hope he gets arrested just so that the court will order him go to therapy."

"He'd rather plead the death penalty!"

Nerevar gave a dry laugh. "Yeah..." 

After a few moments of deliberating, the pair decided to make their way to the H.M. Library, after Nerevar got off work in the evening, as that particular building on campus was older and quieter. After a quick pit stop, so Nerevar could check the status of his tanks and take some readings, they arrived at the old Indoril-style building. With all sloped arches and pointed parapets, the place smelled of a kind of dusty formality, austere and rigid. What few windows the building had were either stained murals or yellowed and distorted with age. 

Being as it was Loredas, the library staff had left early and locked the doors. After swiping their badges (or rather, Sotha swiping twice because Nerevar had left his at home) they found a secluded spot on the lower floor nestled between large shelves. There were some other tables and chairs nearby, but no one was occupying them. The moment Sotha set down his bag, his stomach started to kick up a fuss and make its ire known.

"I think I have some snacks in my bag if you want some." Nerevar chuckled. 

"No offense Neht but I'm not in the mood for whatever hippy granola brick is crumbling away in the bottom of your book bag,"

"They're good for you! You're an athlete, you should be all over my 'hippy granola bricks',"

"I've never met another athlete that has anything resembling a healthy diet. I'm gonna see if they finally put a vending machine in this godforsaken crypt."

It seemed that fortune smiled upon Sotha because not only was it a new vending machine with a card reader and anything, but he recognized the company name as well. He smirked to himself. When are those guys gonna learn? After ensuring no one was nearby, he stood from his wheelchair and knelt down. He reached behind the metal case, feeling and fumbling around for the thin cord. After a moment, he managed to disconnect it: the Ethernet cable. He made sure to only pull it out a little bit, so that whoever found it would assume improper installation or a faulty part, as opposed to the very intentional tampering Sotha was doing. With the internet disconnected, he could swipe his card as many times as he wanted and the payment wouldn't register. 

He made off with a modest amount of snacks, not wanting to draw suspicion, and returned to the table in the corner. Nerevar was organizing a massive binder full of papers, reports, and printed PDFs of old studies. Sotha shook his head at the ridiculous sight. Nerevar for whatever reason, preferred to do his work entirely by paper, only submitting digital copies because when his professors insisted. 

"Any chance you're gonna join the modern era anytime?" He jabbed. 

"Not a fat chance in hell, Sil,"

"It's utterly fascinating how you forget your id and house keys but manage to keep track of hundred pieces of paper."

"Oh, make no mistake, I've lost many I'm barely holding down the fort over here." He chuckled. "But the information sticks in my brain better when I'm actually holding it, never remember shit unless its physically written down."

Sotha laughed and set his ill-gotten goods on the table. He transferred from his wheelchair to the bench and after sating his hunger with a bag of chips, two candy bars, and soda for good measure, he pulled out his laptop and started to pull up his research. It was nothing exciting, but research rarely is. It takes time and work and grueling hours spent staring at a spreadsheet until you went cross-eyed. 

At the very least he had managed to figure out the source of the power surge. He thought it had been the switch malfunctioning, but upon closer inspection, the switch was working fine. But once the switch was turned on, the circuit couldn’t be turned off. The soul gem that took the place of the battery in a regular circuit continued to put power into the wire at an increasingly faster and faster rate, until it burnt out completely. His most successful attempts were when he looped part of the circuit back on itself so the excess output would flow back into the soul gem. Unfortunately, this led to the deterioration of the crystal itself.  

He had tried a few other things, but all of them had failed. Maybe he needed to take a step back and reevaluate his whole setup. Who says a magicka circuit needs to mimic an electrical one? There might be a different way to go about this entirely. Groaning, he put in another request for more soul gems on the mage’s guild website. Shutting his laptop, he leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes. He will succeed, he just has to be patient. 

----

Nerevar had been so engrossed in his work that he barely noticed time passing by. When he finally pulled himself out of it at the behest of his bladder, he saw that Sotha was sleeping with his head tilted back on the seat. He chuckled to himself as a small amount of spittle dripped out of Sil's mouth and onto the carpeted floor. 

After he relieved himself, he decided to walk about and stretch his legs. Was it really one in the morning? No wonder Sotha had passed out so thoroughly. Nerevar knew he was going to be miserable in the morning, and he briefly debated whether it was even worth it to go to sleep at this point. He at the very least had to go back to the apartment and make sure Vivec had returned in one piece. And Sil deserved to sleep in his bed, not in the arms of an unforgiving chair. 

He gave himself ten minutes to wrap up his research and then packed his bag. Just as he was about to shake Sotha awake, he noticed something that sent a chill down his spine. Sitting with his legs tucked under himself, crooked nose buried in a book, was a tall Chimer with dark hair. How long had he been sitting there? Nerevar hadn't heard anyone come into the library, at least not anyone that sat down nearby. He was pretty vigilant when it came to public spaces, as he had been harassed for his heritage more times than he had fingers and toes, and he had the scars to prove it. The fact that someone had sat down so close to their table without alerting their presence unnerved him deeply. 

The fact it was someone he recognized alleviated the unease, but not by much. He scrubbed his mind for the mer's name, he knew it, on the tip of his tongue. Voryn. That's right, Voryn Dagoth, of house Dagoth. He knew that it was one of the Great Houses, that they were the only house known to actively trade with the Dwemer, and that they rivaled the other Houses in terms of espionage, but that was it. He had heard even more outlandish rumors about Voryn himself. Some people spoke adamantly about his inherent cruelty and lack of emotion, others still staked their life on the claim that he was a Demiprince in disguise mothered by Mephala herself to glean the secrets of the college.

But the mer was nothing like that, at least, Nerevar couldn't see it right now. Sure, Voryn was tall, intimidating, and kept to himself, but that was hardly worth the 'Demiprince of Darkness And Destruction' reputation that had been thrust upon him. His hair fell in long curtains in front of his face, ruby red eyes roaming gently over the words in his book from behind his glasses. He had dark circles under his eyes and wore a plain black hoodie with matching sweatpants. How could someone so dorky be anything other than innocent? Vivec claimed (not that he would EVER believe Vivec) that Voryn nearly burst into tears when he broke the music club's piano, apologizing to everyone profusely. 

And then Voryn looked at him, in the eyes, and Nerevar understood immediately. Those bright red circles bored through him like the fangs of a snake, and he couldn't contain the audible shudder that wracked through his body. Voryn regarded him with a kind of dark hunger as if he would leap up from the chair at any moment and devour Nerevar on the spot, leaving not even a single drop of blood undigested in his belly. And the worst part was Nerevar would let him. 

Voryn turned his gaze away, and back to his book. He brought a thumb to his lips, red-stained muscle flicking out briefly to wet the pad of the digit, and gently turned the page in his book. 

"Is there something I can assist you with?"

That voice had such an edge to it, not quite aggressive but level and calculated. Something that could only come from being a young lord, carefully raised with the skills needed to take over as head of household. 

"N-no! Sorry, we were just leaving, enjoy your evening."

He shook Sotha awake and dragged the half-awake mer out of the library as quickly as possible. 

"What was that all about?!?" Sotha wheeled behind him. "What fucking time is it?" He yawned. 

"Sorry, I just-" He stopped, giving Sotha a moment to collect himself and rub the sleep out of his eyes. "That guy had weird vibes it all."

"Who, Voryn?"

"Yeah."

"I don't get any weird vibes from him, at least when I met him in the lab a few weeks ago. He even had the guts to apologize to me for being a jerk."

"He was a jerk to you?"

Sotha rolled his eyes. "You know how people get all weird about my arm and leg? Like the don't wanna look at me for fear of turning to stone or some netchshit?"

"I'm familiar." Nerevar had to redirect many a question back to Sotha during conversations, lest others get it in their head that Nerevar somehow spoke for him. 

"Yeah, well he was doing the exact same swill when he came in with Vivec the other day, and I was feeling particularly combative that day so I called him out on it. And he actually apologized, then started talking to me about my work."

Genuine apologies were hard to come by for Sotha, which Nerevar found infuriating, so he was glad to know that Voryn was an exception. Everyone always wanted to deflect, or ignore, or do mental gymnastics to turn the issue around and somehow make it Sotha's fault. He always tried to let it roll off him, not let it drag him down but Nerevar could always tell that it still bugged him. 

"But did he say or do something weird to you?"

"No, not really."

"What's up then? You seem really tense..."

"I don't know," Nerevar mumbled. They wandered down a flight of stairs, only in the vaguest direction of home. "Actually I do know but..."

"But what?"

"Promise not to judge?"

Sotha nodded. "You can talk to me Neht, always."

"He looked at me like he wanted to eat me. It was bizarre." Nerevar kicked a rock as he walked behind Sotha. "And the weirdest part was I kind of wanted him to," 

Sotha flashed him a concerned look from over his shoulder, then shook his head. "If your weird fetishes get you executed by the Morag Tong for cozying up to the heir of a great house I'm going to laugh at your ashes for the rest of eternity,"

"Hey!" Nerevar jogged up and smacked him in the chest. "I'm not cozying up to nothing, what gives?"

"I'm just teasing chill!" Sotha paused. "You should see how red your face is though."

"The next time you're late for class I'm hiding your leg in the sewers,"

"I'm putting a bomb in my leg then, have fun being the first Ashlander terrorist. Make your ancestors proud!"

"Waaaooow. That's fucked."

Sotha shrugged, then laughed. Then they both laughed, and all was well. 

----

They had made it to the platform just in time to catch the last silt strider heading to the Plaza. They thanked the driver profusely for slowing down and letting them clamber into the back before taking their payment. Sotha fell asleep, and Nerevar had to once again shake the sleepy mer to oblivion and back once their stop arrived. It was about a twenty-minute walk to their shared apartment from the platform. The Carnival District was named for, you guessed it, a carnival that used to take place every year since the city of Mournhold had been founded. That carnival no longer exists, and the Carnival District was now a modest housing project that catered to Mournhold's lower class.

"City of light my ass," Nerevar grumbled as he took a torch out of his bag. He lit it with a small spell. "The age of the internet and we still have to use torches at night."

"The folks in Godsreach don't have to use torches." Sotha commented, before stifling a yawn. 

"Some day I'm gonna get out of this place, man."

"And go where?"

"I dunno. Away."

"...I'd be sad if you left."

Nerevar smiled to himself. "Thank you Seht." He held the torch aloft. "Anyways, lets get back and see what state Vivec is in."

"Ten drakes he's drunk asleep on the couch,"

"I'll raise you five and say he's half-naked."

"He's always half-naked, that's hardly a fair bet!"

They walked for several blocks, shooting the shit between each other amongst the dark and quiet streets. A necessary shortcut, but one that always turned Nerevar's stomach to take, was along one of the grand canals that vivisected the city. The rushing water and darkness made it easy to cover up footsteps, and the permadamp conditions made it far too easy to lose one's footing. 

Nerevar's ears twitched. There was a noise, he was fucking sure of it right on the edge of his periphery. He stopped. So did Sotha. And so did the noise. 

"...Sorry, I thought I heard something,"

"Don't scare me like that, we're fine! You're being paranoid!" But Seht scooted a bit closer to the other, eyeing the canal suspiciously. 

Nerevar resumed his steps, but couldn't shake the feeling that something was out in front of him. They could turn and run, but it was a ways back to the edge of the row, and there were no alleys they could duck into or bridges they could cross. All the pair could do was take tentative steps forward. Then Nerevar heard it again. Low, rumbling...growling? 

"D-Do you hear that?" Sotha whispered. 

"It's probably just a rat. I'll make quick work of it."

He was lying, to himself and Sotha, the noise was far too loud and feral to be a simple rat...and last time he checked rats didn't growl like that. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a knife. It wasn't supposed to be used for fighting, it was a tool for shucking clams and oysters, but it worked as a shiv in a pinch and was innocuous enough that it didn't draw attention from the Ordinators. 

He took a tentative step forward, holding the torch in front of him. All he saw was a mass of broken barrels and foul-smelling garbage. A shadowed shape skitters across the cobbles. Once the creature finally came into dim view, Nerevar gasped. 

"What the fuck is that?" Sotha called out. "That doesn't look like any rat I've ever seen!"

It was brown and shaggy, with a black button nose and ears that drooped against its face. It was just barely bigger than a rat, and although it was growling fiercely it made no move to attack either of them. 

"I definitely don't think it's a rat." Nerevar said. He moved closer, casting more light on the animal so he could better see it. "It looks like a...dog?"

"What the hell is a dog doing loose in Mournhold?"

While the Nords loved their four-legged companions, the Chimer had yet to see the appeal. Dogs were imported to Resdayn mostly to fight in cage matches in arenas. If the poor thing was lucky it'd be used for its pelt and meat. Some Chimer had taken to the trend of keeping them as pets, but it was always viewed through the lens of it being 'exotic' to keep them. They were, after all, just animals to the vast majority of mer in Resdayn. 

"He probably escaped from a trader, I'm guessing." Nerevar put his knife away and handed the torch to Sotha. He slung his backpack off of his shoulder and dug around. He knew he had a piece of scrib jerky or something in there...aha! He broke off a few pieces and tossed them towards the dog. 

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Sotha hissed. "You're gonna get bit,"

"Nah, it's just hungry."

The dog sniffed at the jerky, nose-twitching, still growling. It wasn't long before the animal's resolve broke, and it lapped up the meat greedily. Nerevar broke off a few more pieces and tossed them, this time a little closer to where he crouched. It eyed him suspiciously, before stretching out slowly, using its forepaw to bat the treat closer. He tossed a few more, then a few more, then some more, each time inching the pup forward a few steps. It had long since stopped growling, crunching down on the cured meat without fail each time. Nerevar reached out his hand, palm up, with a particularly large chunk of jerky, directly in front of the dog. It didn't even hesitate this time, inhaling the hunk and coming back to clean up the crumbs. 

"Yeah, you were just hungry, weren't you?" He reached out a hand and gently stroked the animal's head. It was softer than Nerevar expected. "Hungry and lost, you're not dangerous at all!" 

The dog started wagging its tail and Nerevar grinned. He picked up the pup without any issue, giggling as it licked his face. 

"Sil! You should-...why are you looking at me like that?"

"I don't know how Vivec's gonna take to having a new roommate,"

"I-listen-...we don't have to keep it."

"We do have to keep it because you think it's absolutely adorable and you're gonna cry if we don't," Sotha said with bitter resignation, like a prisoner on his way to the chopping block. 

Nerevar stayed quiet. "It'll be my responsibility then."

Sotha gave him a look. "Yeah, who the fuck else?"

"Shut up, look how cute it is!" He held the puppy out to the other mer, its disposition changed now that it had something in its belly. 

"...I guess it is kind of cute, in a sort of ugly sort of way...why is it writhing like that?"

"It means its happy,"

"It signals joy by wiggling?"

"Among other things, I assume."

...

They opened the door of the apartment to find a very awake, fully clothed, and shockingly sober Vivec who immediately laid into the pair when they walked in the door. 

"What the fuck were you two thinking being out this late? Huh? You could've gotten killed or worse! You two are the dumbest fucking s'wits I've ever FUCKING encountered!"

"You traipse around the city in the wee hours of the night too, ya know." Sotha bit back. 

"I know this city like the back of my hand, you two have soft faces and sweet dispositions that-.............what the fuck is that?"

Nerevar looked down at the dog in his arms. 

 

Notes:

I’m so tired but my brain is on fire so i guess i shall e right yay! :)))))))

Chapter 3: An Unhealthy Obsession

Notes:

FYI i am writing this as I go so not all of the stuff that happens is mentioned in the tag right away. I will update them as needed with each chapter so just be sure to double check em fore reading an update :3c

An Unhealthy Obsession

"So," Almalexia sat down across from the pensive mer, startling him out of his daze. "Who's the lucky one that's caught your stalking eye?"

Voryn glared at her. "I'm not a stalker!" He hissed. 

"And I'm not a redhead." She grinned back. 

Ok, so maybe, he was a little bit of a stalker. But he wasn't a creep! He wasn't doing anything nefarious he was just...observing. He just so happened to know that Nerevar was a part of the gardening club, and just so happened to see a post on their Tamagram that they were having a fall plant sale, and he just so happened to have a free moment in his schedule and it just so happened that the Architecture building had a seat next to a window on the first floor with a perfect view of the quad. Happenstance, a convient coincidence indeed. 

It was a cycle Voryn had been through before. He would fall for someone at a distance, learn everything he could about their schedule, and place himself in hidden spots so he would be able to see them. It wasn't his fault! Some people were just so fascinating and pretty that he couldn't help but orchestrate crossing paths. The absolute most he would do was take a carefully curated picture or two, maybe scrub through their social media, but he would never dream of hurting or making someone uncomfortable. Sometimes he'd try to work up the courage to talk to the person instead of being a sack of saltrice about it, but he never managed. After a few weeks, the feeling would fade, and he'd get bored, and he'd forget the person entirely. 

But not this time. It had been nearly two months and Voryn was still absolutely smitten with the blond-haired chimer. He returned his gaze out the window, doing his best to ignore Almalexia. Nerevar was helping organize a row of potted Kanet flowers, as they had been knocked over by the fall breeze. He was wearing a tan knit sweater to stave off the slight chill, and his hair was pulled up into a bun. 

"So," She leaned forward eagerly. "Who is it? Wait! I wanna try and guess..." Voryn groaned as she pressed her face to the glass, looking out onto the crowd of people gathered around the tables. "Hmm...it's gotta be someone working the plant sale, right? Otherwise, you wouldn't bother sitting here for so long. Is it the girl with the bob? You've always had a thing for blondes."

"Different blonde," Voryn mumbled. Maybe if he played along with her teasing, she'd leave him alone. "The one with the mullet."

She snorted. "Nerevar? That's fucking hilarious."

Voryn's attention snapped back to her. "You know him?"

"He and I had a very brief fling last year. I wouldn't even call it dating, really. We just bumped uglies a few times." She rubbed the side of her neck, blushing slightly. "A lot more than a few times, now that I think about it..."

His nails dug into the table slightly, and he had to remind himself that he and Nerevar weren't even friends- let alone lovers- and he had no right to be jealous. But still...something about the information made his throat burn. The other half of him wanted to ask every gory detail about what Nerevar was like in bed, but he knew that would be crossing a line, so he returned his attention once again to the window. 

"When did you notice him?"

"About two months ago." He recounted a summarized version of the day he broke the piano, and followed Vivec dumbly all the way to the EVS wing of the campus. 

"Two months? That's a bit long for you isn't it?"

"Yeah...he's driving me mad!"

She chuckled. "He has a special knack for doing that. Dare I ask how much you know about him?"

"He's going into his fourth year, after that, he's doing a graduate program for marine biology. He's from the Ahemmusa tribe and he does work doing security for a bar near here. He's part of the gardening club. His favorite dish to eat is mudcrab and he's also very fond of the animal itself. I think his favorite color might be blue, because he wears it so often. He fidgets with his hair when he's nervous. He has two roommates: Sotha Sil and Vivec and they all live in an apartment in the Carnival District."

Almalexia gave him a concerned look. "...You know where he lives?" 

He held up his hands. "I did NOT follow him home if that's what you're implying!" He insisted. "He hosted a study group a few weeks ago and he put the address on his Tamagram which makes it public information." Almalexia stared at him intently. "Which anyone could look up if they so desired." He added. 

"Thank the Three you have an anxiety disorder, otherwise you'd be behind bars by now!" She shook her head. 

Voryn glared at her. "I'm not a monster, I wouldn't do anything even if I had the courage to, and you know that,"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." She chuckled. “Did you know that he’s also on the swim team?”

His eye twitched. “I did not.”

”Yeah, stalk him well enough and you might get to see him half naked.” She teased.

Voryn rolled his eyes at her and returned his attention to the window only to realize he could no longer spot Nerevar. He searched the crowd looking for him. His heart sank a little, and he hoped that Nerevar hadn't left already.

"Just be careful." Almalexia said. "Nerevar is a very friendly person and if he starts seeing you around a bunch he might get it in his head to-aw fuck."

He looked at her and saw her grinning widely. 

"This is gonna be good," She laughed. 

"What-"

"Ayem!" A voice called out from behind where they were sitting. 

A shot of ice ran through his veins as he recognized the bright, happy timbre. No. No! Nerevar was supposed to be outside helping with the fundraiser. Not-

"It's so good to see you!" He bent down and gave Almalexia a tight hug. "Gah! It feels like it's been forever! How's your PhD going?"

Almalexia gave Voryn a mournful look over the mer's shoulder, mouthing a quiet apology. She pulled out of the hug, turned to Nerevar, and smiled. 

"It's going well, thank you. How have you been?"

"I've been good! Things are going well for me." He turned to Voryn. "You're Voryn, right? I remember meeting you. You and Ayem are friends?"

Voryn didn't respond he couldn't respond Nerevar was talking to him that wasn't supposed to happen Nerevar was supposed to stay outside and Voryn would watch and then they would go their separate ways and Nerevar would never know that Voryn was there that was how it always worked that was how Voryn kept control he shouldn't he wasn't he can't-

"He and I are friends yes, we met a few years ago."

"That's super cool, Ayem's a good person. You're lucky to have her on your side. Speaking of luck..." Nerevar sat a small potted plant on the table in front of Voryn. "Corkbulb, it's supposed to bring good luck. Figured you might need some after the piano fiasco." He gave a knowing grin.

Voryn's mind went blank. He stared down at the plant, blinking.

"Nerevar," Ayem sighed. "Isn't it a little cruel to keep giving out plants you know are going to wither and die?"

He snorted. "Corkbulb isn't very hard to take care of, you water it thoroughly once a month, and it takes care of the rest."

"You told me the same about the stone flower you gave me and that died within a week!"

"Cause you put it in direct sunlight, it grows at the base of trees of course it's gonna wither if you blast it with light! I even told you as much, I said 'Ayem, move that plant out of the window or else it's gonna die' and you said you'd move it. It's your own fault at that point." He crossed his arms. "I can't help that you don't like doing what you're told."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "So you just assume that everyone has a green thumb then?"

"Green thumbs are grown, not given. You gotta want it."

Voryn wanted it! He wanted it badly. He stared down at the small bulbous plant. Off-green leaves and thick tan roots, humble, and honestly ugly as far as plants went. But in that moment, glimmering in the sunlight streaming through the window, Voryn never saw something more divine in his entire life. 

"Aren't the people from the gardening club going to be upset you've made off with merchandise? Ya little thief." She teased. 

"Oh please," He waved his hand. "They grow enough of these things to supply an entire plantation. Besides the fundraiser is winding down, we'll probably end up gifting the rest of the plants we didn't sell anyways."

A gift... No, Nerevar barely knew him, what was he doing giving gifts to Voryn, of all people? Shouldn't his attachments be on Almalexia? Ex or not, Nerevar seemed much more connected with her than him. Much more worthy of such a precious display of affection.

"Say Voryn," He was shocked out of his trance, looking up at the blue-eyed mer. "You have MarChat?"

Voryn nodded. Why is he asking this?

"Sweet! I'll-"

"Nerevar! Get back here and help us break down the tables!" A Breton yelled from down the hall. 

"Sorry!" He called out sheepishly. "I gotta go, I'll see you around though, right?" And with that, Nerevar disappeared. 

His head swam and his heart hammered in his chest. If it weren't for the potted plant in front of him, he might've chalked it up to a bizarre hallucination. Vision flattening, he felt a familiar fuzz wash over his mind. Static. All he heard and saw was static. 

"Yo," Almalexia grabbed his wrist, startling him so badly he jumped and nearly knocked over the entire table. "Hey, breathe. You're ok." 

Eventually, with enough coaxing from Almalexia, he returned to reality. He said nothing, and neither did she. He closed his eyes and just focused on breathing for a moment. He watched out the window as Nerevar and the rest of the garden club broke down the folding tables, and loaded the remainder of the pots on a cart. Time seemed to slow down to a crawl as the group disappeared from view, likely on their way to put the tables back in whatever storage room they hailed from. 

His phone buzzed, rattling loudly on the table. He picked it up and looked at the screen. A warm flush spread across his cheeks and ears as he read the notification. 

N3r3vr! Sent you a friend request!

"Hm?" Almalexia looked over at his phone and grinned. "My dear Voryn, it appears that you may be in trouble. 

He swallowed thickly, sharply tapping the small green 'accept' button on the screen as if his finger would burn if he held it there for longer than needed. 

"It appears that I am indeed, in trouble."

-----

An impatient chittering noise filled the room. At once, Voryn was struck upside the head with a hard carapace, antennae and barbed feet pricking at his neck. He swore, setting the potted plant on his desk before disentangling the clingy insect from his hair and glaring at it. 

"Hello, yes I am home. Would you stop doing that!"

The large red beetle clacked her mandibles together, wriggling in Voryn's grasp. He sighed, pressing her to his chest. 

"I missed you too, Umi."

She chittered angrily. 

"I know you want to go with me, but people are intimidated enough as it is, they don't need to see me wandering around with a carnivorous insect,"

Umi wriggled out of his grasp and fluttered to the corner of the room, facing away from him. Normally he would chide her for throwing a fit like that, but he didn't have the energy. He was so fucking tired, and everything was far too bright. Oh, how he missed the dim-warm candles and oil lamps back in Kogoruhn. The electric lights here were too intense and buzzed like cicadas at the edge of his hearing, driving him mad. He quickly dressed in more comfortable clothes, sorted through his book bag, and then switched off the lights. He also closed the curtains for good measure and pulled the covers over his head. 

His mother had all but threatened the college over Voryn's living arrangements, insisting that because he was heir to their house he couldn't share a dorm. He was too high-profile a person to be left vulnerable to a stranger like that, and since Voryn hadn't met any friends outside of Ayem (who wasn't allowed to walk two steps without an Ordinator trailing her, let alone stay in the dorms with other students) his room was empty save for himself and Umi.

Initially, he had been glad for it. The idea of having someone else who he didn't know, someone who might be weird or sleep at odd hours or snore or kill him or worse touch his stuff without permission, made him nauseous. But now, he couldn't help but wonder if that held him back. Maybe he wouldn't be so awkward if he were forced to share a space with someone. Maybe it would've driven him mad. He at the very least would have fewer opportunities to take a blade to

Umi had sensed the distress and flew to Voryn's bed, chittering softly as she found a way under the blanket. Voryn welcomed the touch, despite his headache, and rolled over so she could rest on her favorite spot just above his stomach. Her chubby legs massaged small circles on his chest, and Voryn let out a deep sigh, relishing the comfort. Despite how nasty her attitude could be, they were bonded. And if Voryn was upset, she was upset, and Umi couldn't stay upset for very long. His phone buzzed, and fumbled to find it. 

N3r3v6! Sent you a photo!

Voryn didn't do social media. He wasn't tech illiterate and there were a few...select...websites he had accounts for, but he didn't post anything anywhere. He certainly didn't talk to strangers. He downloaded MarChat mostly to talk to Ayem and send her memes, and occasionally fuck around with the weird filters they had. His favorite squashed your face and turned you into a nix-hound.

He tapped on the notification and opened the picture. It was of his arm outstretched past the camera holding what looked like a stunted wolf. The caption read: "Puppy"

What should he do? How the hell does he respond to that? Where and when did he even get a dog? He typed out a response, then deleted it, then typed another, then deleted that too. How the fuck do people do this shit? He thought for a moment, then opened the camera. Ignoring his disheveled appearance, he pulled back the blanket and snapped a picture of Umi sitting on his chest. "Scarab" he typed into the caption bar and hit send. 

N3r3v6: :O! Is that a shalk?

Voryn: She's an ash scarab.

N3r3vr: I didn't know those could be kept as pets

Voryn: She's not a pet 

N3r3vr: Oh, so she's to eat then? Haha lol 

Voryn: No!!1

Voryn: You know how witches have familiars? It's kind of like that.

N3r3v6: OH! I'm so sorry! My bad 

Voryn: it's ok

N3r3v6: can I ask her name

Voryn: Umi. 

N3r3v6: I've never seen her, don't familiars have to be kept close?

Voryn: I said she's LIKE a familiar, we're not tethered that closely. But she is more than a pet. 

N3r3v6: That's really cool! I'd love to meet her she looks adorable 

Never in all the years Voryn had been alive, had he EVER heard someone outside of House Dagoth call an ash scarab 'adorable', or anything close to affectionate. They were large, carnivorous, jealous, territorial, and quite frankly terrifying even if you grew up around them. 

Voryn: You think she's adorable?

N3r3v6: Yeah! :D She's very round and chunky, it's cute

Voryn: I don't like bringing her out because people get scared.

N3r3v6: ah, that's fair 

Shit, no no. He wanted to see Nerevar, telling the truth about why Umi wasn't around was a mistake. He took a deep breath. 

Voryn: But I suppose if you want to meet her that's fine. What are you doing tomorrow?

N3r3v6: I'll be in the H.M. Library at 2. See you then!

Voryn: Sounds good. 

He turned off his phone and ran a hand through his hair. He didn't realize how much he had been sweating. Rolling out of bed and ignoring Umi's protests he walked to the bathroom, splashing his face with cold water until the flush left his cheeks. By Three...he needed strength. Nerevar was talking to him, for whatever godforsaken reason, and seemed interested in being his friend. Voryn knew that wouldn't be enough. It's why he kept his distance. 

If they became friends and started sharing space in each other's lives, Voryn would want more. And more. And more. Until Nerevar was all but subsumed into himself. It truly scared him just how possessive he got over others. When Ayem started dating her current boyfriend, Voryn didn't talk to her for a week, and they were just friends! What would happen if Nerevar did the same? Or worse, found something unsavory about Voryn and hated him? He couldn't bear the thought. 

And yet...he was drawn to the other. He truly was helpless to stop it. He sighed, turning off the tap, and looking into the mirror. The bags under his eyes, the pimples on his cheek, the spots where his skin tone was uneven and hyperpigmented, the crook at the top of his nose from where it had been broken, the weird dimple in his chin...he wanted to break that fucking mirror. 

Instead, he turned off the light, and crawled back under the covers, hoping against hope that he would feel better in the morning. 

----

He did NOT feel better in the morning. Umi was excited, knowing that she was finally able to leave the stuffy dorm and go out and explore and Voryn was terrified. And the more nervous he felt, the more she fed off his energy and got more erratic, and the more Voryn worried. She ended up chewing a hole in his book bag halfway through his morning lecture, and would only settle if she was sitting in his lap or on his shoulder. Voryn would just have to deal with the mortification of being witnessed, and the embarrassment of putting his busted book bag in a garish tote he bought from the student store. 

Voryn decided that his lecture after lunch was not worth missing out on meeting Nerevar, so he emailed the professor letting him know that he wouldn't be able to attend, and to please email him back with the presentation at his earliest convenience, thank you. He purchased lunch, ate a few bites before his stomach turned on him, and then made his way to the library. Umi walked in front of him, intentionally running underneath people's legs to scare them and jumping out from behind corners. After the third squeal, he picked her up again. 

"This is why I don't let you out! You're a menace!" She hissed and squirmed, but Voryn kept his grip firm. "Knock it off or you're going back in my backpack." She stopped squirming at that, but crawled up and onto his shoulder. 

He finally made it to the library, grateful that it was mostly empty. He felt his face flush as he sat in a secluded corner on the upper floor. The last time he was in this library...he was also with Nerevar. 

Voryn had been sitting in his usual spot, on the first floor, next to a window where he could see out into the night, curled up in an armchair. It was his favorite place on campus. Then, Sotha Sil had walked in, with Nerevar following closely behind. That time, truly, it had been a coincidence. And Voryn was thoroughly unprepared. 

Nerevar had seemed not to notice him, and he was determined to keep it that way. He sat stock still, eyes glued to his book, not moving a muscle, even until the wee hours of the night wore on. He snuck glances now and then, but only when he was certain Nerevar was thoroughly wrapped up in his work. 

Eventually, he heard Nerevar get up, and after several minutes of listening and not hearing anything, closed the book. He could leave, and go to bed, and cease the pounding in his heart. He mentally cursed to himself when he saw Nerevar's stuff was still sprawled out on the table, and worse still Sotha was sleeping. He heard footsteps coming down the hall. 

So he slunk back in his chair, prepared for this to be a long night. He tried and failed to just get lost in the book he was reading. He heard Nerevar shuffling, putting his things away, and stretching. His heart cried in pain and his brain sighed in relief. Then the noise stopped. Nerevar hadn't left. He felt his skin burn and prickle uncomfortably in his clothes. 

He looked up, and his eyes locked with an ocean of blue. Beautiful blue. Calming and soothing and so incredibly pretty, they looked like precious stones that a king would gift to his lover. No wonder it was his favorite color. Seeing Nerevar this up close, and not in a picture or from across a building he was painfully reminded of just why Voryn was obsessed with him. 

Nerevar grimaced and then shuddered in disgust when he met Voryn's gaze. 

Voryn might as well have been stabbed. 

Ah. So that's what Nerevar thought of him...very well then. 

He turned his gaze away, closing himself off once again. "Is there something I can assist you with?" He said with all the dry irritation he could muster. 

Nerevar left in a hurry after that, practically carrying a half-asleep Sotha down the steps of the library. Voryn remained rooted to the spot, unable to see anything through the mist that clouded his eyes. 

He shook himself and checked his phone. 12:49. He still had over an hour of waiting before Nerevar showed up. If he showed up, that is. Nerevar might have been doing this out of pity, or maybe spite, to laugh at him behind his back. He didn't think that Nerevar would do that, but then again...you can never truly know someone and their intentions. 

 

Notes:

Umi exists to sow chaos in Voryn’s life and nothing else

Also i made up the ash scarabs bc i wanted Umi to be special and not just a shalk shaped familiar

Also also google some pictures of scarabs, specifically dung beetles they’re cute as FUCK and so chonkers!!!!! Love bugs < 3

Chapter 4: Cherry Soda

Notes:

time for bug crimes :)

Nerevar stood in front of the dim light of the dreaded vending machine. He stared at the options before him, trying to imagine which one Voryn would like the most. The mer was impossible to read, always keeping a firm stare of benign boredom. Nerevar wondered if his eyebrows were stuck like that permanently, or if he was even able to smile. Hell, he hadn't said a single word to Nerevar yesterday, just nodding placidly when he asked Voryn about his social media before he was rudely pulled away. 

He had tried multiple times before to flag him down in the hallway or give him a friendly smile from across a room, only to be met with a glare. What had he done to make the mer so upset? Normally he wouldn't give a shit, brushing it off as just a passing-in-the-night sort of ordeal, and move on. But Voryn was terribly and irrecoverably handsome (despite his lack of self-care) and Nerevar was terribly and irrecoverably mortal (despite his insistent humility). And to top it off, Voryn's aloof nature only played into the miserable side of Nerevar who loved a challenge and a puzzle to solve. Vivec would always tease, saying that all you needed to kidnap the headstrong mer was the promise of pretty faces. 

And Voryn's was a pretty face indeed. 

Nerevar sighed. He was going to be late if he kept standing here, he had to pick something or nothing at all. Initially, he went for the tea, not wanting to presume if Voryn drank that much caffeine or what kind, but then he stopped. He instead punched in two sodas, one lemon and one cherry flavor. Fun, whimsical, low stakes. It would have to do for now, and besides, if Voryn decided he didn't want either of them Nerevar would drink it, or bring it back home to Sotha. 

He pulled out his phone and sent a message to Voryn. 

 

N3r3v6!: On my way!!!

Voryn: I'm on the second floor. Table next to the window. 

 

Nerevar smiled to himself and made his way to the library through the labyrinthine tunnels. Few students used the tunnels to get from building to building, which made the trek easy as Nerevar could avoid the crowds of students that were thronging to get to and from classes. Up the stairs and round the corner he popped a golden head of hair out into the sunlight that streamed through the atrium. 

The H.M. Library was truly a different beast during the day. Even though it remained fairly empty the daylight made the whole building look as if it would start breathing air and eating food. He scanned the balcony of the second floor as he made his way up the stairs. Table by the window...aha! He saw Voryn sitting at the far end of the balcony and made his way toward him. 

Voryn didn't seem to hear him approach, and Nerevar would have called out if it weren't for the fact that the sunlight hit Voryn's face in such a way that caused him to suck in a breath at the sight. Without the sternness of his gaze, Voryn's features looked almost...soft. Delicate. He looked fucking regal and Nerevar couldn't help but imagine if he looked that divine in his sleep or the throes of passio-

A ferocious hissing noise filled the air, and Nerevar could see the forelimbs of a bright red insect wriggling in Voryn's folded arms. Voryn looked at the bug, then to Nerevar then back to the bug, scowling. 

"Calm down!" He hissed. "He's not here to cause trouble."

"Hello!" Nerevar grinned and set the drinks down. "I brought some sodas, you can pick which flavor you want, I don't mind either."

Voryn's right eye twitched several times in a row as he stared at the cans on the table. Nerevar didn't know what to make of that reaction. 

"Of course, no pressure if you don't like soda-" He started to backpedal.

"I'll take the cherry." He mumbled, almost too quiet for Nerevar to hear. 

"Of course, whatever you like." Nerevar set his bag down and pulled out a chair for himself. 

"Thank you." He took the can and opened it before taking a sip. 

Voryn looked different than he had yesterday, and it wasn't just the sunlight hitting his face. His hair had been brushed and carefully braided into a plait that fell to the side, curling around his ear. Both of which were now clad in gold rings and cuffs, and he had traded out his usual hoodie and sweatpants for a dark turtlenecked sweater and a pair of nice trousers. Even his baby hairs had been smoothed down and into place. Nerevar was more than happy to believe that the change in appearance was because of his presence, but he quickly pushed that thought aside. He probably just has an interview or a presentation today, and besides it's none of his business anyway how Voryn chose to clothe himself and why.  

"So do you like cherries?" 

"...Yeah. Cherries are good." Voryn paused, lips moving in half-measures as if his tongue were paralyzed. "Do you like lemons?"

Nerevar snorted. "Not to eat, but it's good in soda and candy. As far as fruit goes I'm a huge fan of mangoes."

"Mangoes?" He relaxed, seeming curious now and a little more open. 

That's good, Nerevar thought. "Mangoes are fruit from Elswyr, they're yellowy-orange and very sweet." 

Voryn's eyes narrowed. "I know what a mango is...I just didn't figure you for having exotic tastes is all."

"Ah, well-" Before he could get into the details of how exactly he had tried his first mango decades ago as a canvassari - and ever since then couldn't get enough of the mouth-numbing fruit to save his life - the large red beetle clambered onto the table and made her anger known. 

Voryn gave an exhausted sigh. "You're right, I'm sorry. I should have properly introduced you. Umi, this is Nerevar. Nerevar, Umi."

The beetle, Umi, was about the size of a dinner plate, maybe a touch smaller and bright red with flecks of shimmering orange in her carapace. Black lines swirled and angled along her back, interrupting the sea of red before curling down and meeting her limbs. Nerevar recognized the patterns. 

"Ah, I see where your house gets it's family crest." His smile deepened. "Hi Umi, it's nice to meet you."

He extended a finger to try and touch the scarab but she skittered away before he could make contact, buzzing her wings in indignation. 

"She wants you to ask permission, first." 

"That's reasonable, I'm sorry Umi."

Umi buzzed again, louder. "And...she also wants a snack from you. She thinks its unfair you brought me something and didn't bring her as well." His lips formed a thin line, clearly fed up with her antics, but Nerevar didn't mind.

"Aha, well then. What does she like to eat?" 

"She eats meat, mostly."

Nerevar rummaged around in his bag for his lunch box and took out the tried and true scrib jerky. He offered it to Umi. She approached, carefully, before opening her mandibles and chowing down on the stick. The moment she was done she started headbutting his hand, evidently expecting more. 

"Aw, I'm sorry Umi but that's all I had." Oh, how she fumed at that. "I promise I'll bring you a whole bunch next time I see you, ok?"

The fit subsided, and without warning she started towards him, crawling up and onto his shoulder. She was lighter than he expected but her presence was felt on his chest. As the beetle settled into a spot, she started to make a low trilling noise. Voryn raised both eyebrows at that. 

"What? Is this a good thing or a bag thing?"

"It's really good, it means she likes you. She usually can't stand other people -even if they feed her- but she seems to have taken a liking to you."

Nerevar grinned. "I'm glad!" The trilling noise was soothing, almost like a cat purring. "So is it like, telepathy or something?"

"Not exactly. It's a feeling."

"Feeling?"

"Yes. Right now I know she's happy because I can feel it. And she also knows how I feel. It's not...it's not like a voice. Her thoughts are mine, but I know which ones are hers. Our moods also affect one another. "

"That's fascinating! Does she speak?"

Voryn shook his head. "No, she doesn't. But as you have seen that doesn't mean she's quiet." He gave a wry laugh. 

Umi had clambered onto Nerevar's back now, still trilling happily. 

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday." Nerevar started.

"Apologize? For what?" Voryn's face remained passive. 

"Oh! Well..." Nerevar wasn't expecting that. "I kind of snuck up on you, and you didn't seem to pleased that I made fun of you breaking the piano."

"You meant to make fun of me?" He leaned forward with his elbows on the table, hands folded in front of his mouth. 

"NO! No, not at all. Genuinely, I meant it as a gift." Voryn's interrogative gaze made his skin prickle. 

"You have nothing to apologize for, then. And I found it to be quite the thoughtful gift." His posture relaxed slightly, resting one palm on his chin while the other reached for another sip of the soda. 

"Really? I'm glad then, I was worried I had offended you."

"If you had you would know." 

 Nerevar gave a chuckle, slightly unnerved but that only made him more curious about Voryn. 

"So, uh...tell me about your family. What are they like?"

"Why do you ask me that?"

Nerevar blinked. "Well, because that's the kind of things friends ought to know about each other, shouldn't it?"

"You would consider us friends?"

He felt as though he were playing a delicate game of diplomacy and all it would take was one wrong move to earn him a spot in a cardruhn. Playing and toying with a fire that could burn him just as easily as it could protect him. He had done the same delicate dance with Ayem, seeing just how close he could get to the serpent before he got bit. 

But here, Voryn was a spider with rigid unmoving posture and patient prying eyes. Nerevar countered by leaning back in his chair, careful not to squish Umi, and smiling. 

"You're really not that keen on socializing are you?" He chuckled. "You don't have to tell me about your family if you don't want to. And yes, I do consider you a friend."

His eye twitched. "Really? And why is that?"

"Cause you're drinking the soda I gave you." His eye twitched again. Ah, a tell. But of what? Lying? Surprise? Anger? "And Umi likes me. You said so yourself, if Umi's happy then you're happy. If you truly hated me you wouldn't even be here."

"And what if didn't?"

"Didn't what?"

"Hate you."

"Hmm." He rubbed the back of his neck, pretending to ponder the statement. "Then I suppose we would indeed be friends, Voryn."

"Very well then. We are friends."

"Fantastic!" He leaned forward. "Now, tell me about your family. What are they like?" 

A small smile threatened the corner of Voryn's mouth before it was quickly smothered. 

"I have a mother and seven older brothers."

"Seven? That's quite a few, you're lucky to have a big family like that."

"I wouldn't go that far, it's more trouble than it's worth. It was like pulling teeth to convince them to let me attend this place."

He snorted. "Is the Great College of Mournhold not up to the standards of House Dagoth?"

"They didn't want me to go at all."

That was odd, most nobles nowadays sent their children to higher education even if they were dumb as guar shit and failed all their classes.

"Why not?"

"They wanted my education to be handled internally, within the House. And while Dagoth scholars are more than qualified to teach I just...wanted to get out. Even if it was just for a few years." He worried at the inside of his cheek. So Voryn's emotionless walls were not impervious after all. "You said I was lucky to have a large family, Is your family small?"

Ah. Nerevar should have expected that Voryn would ask about his family in return, it was only natural. But fuck, the way that question was phrased stung like hell. 

"Yeah...I don't really have a blood family like that. Vivec and Sotha are the closest I've had to one in a really long time. I didn't get to meet my mother, and my father could be dead for all I care."

"That bothers you?"

It was less of a question and more of a statement. Fuck, was Nerevar really that easy to read? He'd have to work on that. 

"It used to," Bald-faced lie. He hoped Voryn couldn't tell. "But you can always find friendly faces wherever you go, and that's enough for me."

"You've met a lot of people then?"

"Yeah, I used to be a caravan guard before I moved here. I've been all over Tamriel, managed to make it up to High Rock a couple of times, and I spent some time in the Summerset Isles even." 

"Really?" Voryn seemed truly interested in that. "What's the strangest thing you've seen?"

"I got to see a mammoth give birth."

His jaw dropped. "What?!"

He launched into the story. It started well enough, he had just left a job in Resdayn and, having had enough of stuffy Telvanni nobles for six lifetimes, made his way to Skyrim. It was his first time out of the country and after proving himself to an order of mercenaries, joined their ranks. They got hired to guard a Kajhit trading caravan on its way to Whiterun. 

Despite their reputation, the Giants of Skyrim could be bargained with and the caravan sought protection from a blizzard in exchange for some goods. While staying in the cave, one of the mammoth cattle went into labor and the whole troupe had been roped up into fetching water and stoking fires for the animal and its caretakers. In reality, Nerevar had snuck away from the group to watch once he heard what was going on, but he didn't feel the need to admit that detail to Voryn. 

Instead, he shifted to another story. He told all the classics: the first time he tried a mango, the time he got his coin purse swiped in the Imperial City Market and ended up chasing the thief halfway to Chorrol, the woman he courted who ended up being a Dremora in disguise, of having to resort to eating snakes when stranded in the Alik'r Desert, and many more. All of them, of course, carefully embellished in certain places to make the plot more interesting and the stakes more dire. Any adventurer worth their weight in salt did that.

He was in the middle of recounting a harrowing tale where was almost captured by a group of ogres whilst traveling in Cyrodil when Voryn's face suddenly shifted expressions. He blanched, looking downright horrified before he leapt across the table and snatched Umi off of Nerevar's shoulder. 

"What is your problem?" He held the squirming insect in his arm and tried to wrestle something from her mouth. "I'm so sorry, she's-I-this has never happened!" 

Nerevar saw a tuft of blonde hair hanging from Umi's mandibles as she twisted and writhed under Voryn's grasp. He lifted a hand to the back of his scalp, feeling that a lot more of his hair was missing than what Umi currently had her jaws on. Blinking, he wondered how Umi had been so quiet and stealthy. He was honestly amused. Voryn, on the other hand, seemed to be spiraling a bit. 

The moment the lock was pried from her, she let loose an awful ugly noise that shot through the air and crashed into the walls of the library. Halfway between a child's scream and a warrior's cry and loud enough Nerevar was surprised his eardrums didn't implode. Voryn doubled over, smothering the crying insect in his chest, pleading and begging for her to stop. 

"Please! Stop! You're making a scene!" His breathing grew ragged and frantic, eyes wide and fearful. "Nonono, stop!"

But the more he pleaded, the more she seemed to thrash against him, his voice drowned out in the noise. Voryn stood, still holding Umi in an attempt to soothe her. 

"I'm so sorry-I don't. I don't know what's gotten into her I-" He snatched his bag, but before he could leave Nerevar grabbed his wrist.

Voryn stared at him, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. "Hey, it's gonna be ok, I'm not upset."

Umi had stopped screaming but still wriggled in Voryn's grasp. "What-"

"What is the meaning of this?" 

Nerevar whipped around to see the silvery mask and blue robes of an Indoril Ordinator, a gloved gauntlet resting on the pommel of his sword. The head librarian cowered behind him, shooting them a distrustful look. 

"It's my fault, sera, you see when I went to move my chair I accidentally pinched the leg of Voryn's familiar. It startled her is all, I'm very sorry for the disturbance."

The Ordinator studied them from behind the angled expression of his mask. "Are you students here?"

He heard Voryn's breathing start to quicken, and he tightened his grip on the mer's arm. "Yes, but we were just leaving anyhow."

"Move along, then."

The pair quickly packed up their stuff and promptly left the building. Voryn gasped for air as if he were just drowned, sucking it in and out desperately through his teeth. He found a bench under a tree and led the other by the arm. He sat unsteadily and put his face in his hands. Umi was skittering up and down the length of the bench, onto Voryn's back and shoulders then off again. Flitting around from place to place like a wayward moth stuck in a lantern. 

"Hey I'm serious!" He put on the best smile money could buy. "I'm not upset, besides I was due for a trim anyway." Voryn looked up at him blankly. "She did a pretty good job all things considered. Wager you'd have people lined out the door to pay top dollar for her services." He flipped what remained of his hair dramatically for added effect. 

Voryn's face contorted, before he doubled over, and laughed. It was hoarse and awkward as if it were the first time he ever heard a joke but it was earnest and frankly charming. Nerevar made a small vow that he would do everything in his power to hear that wonderful noise again.

"Well," He caught his breath and ran his sleeve across his cheek. "I'm glad. I was worried I had offended you." Voryn smiled, and for the first time Nerevar saw something other than eerie darkness move inside his eyes. 

Nerevar chuckled. "If you had you would know." 

 

 

Notes:

I rlly wish this site had a like function for comments bc I want y’all to know I read ur comments and i cherish them deeply but also I don’t always have a response to if you see this and leave a comment on this fic i like the it and yeah thank youe :D

Chapter 5: Carnival Games And Dildo Names

Notes:

Yo if you live in the US please go to vote.org and check to make sure you're registered! It takes literally 30 seconds to put in your info, and only five minutes to register. A lot of states are doing shady shit to purge people from the voter rolls and take away their right to vote. You can also look up the polling place for your area and what's gonna be on the ballot. Make a plan to vote and request a mail in ballot if you need it.

I am registered to vote and I'm gonna vote in person on the 5th. I'm actually really excited bc it'll be my first time voting, so I'm stoked. And to sweeten the deal, if you dm me a screenshot on Tumblr (@grandmasbrisketbasket) showing that ur registered to vote (sensitive info blocked out ofc) I will give u a small doodle of anything of your choosing!

Also also some states let you pre-register to vote so that the day you turn 18 you're already on the voter rolls. Here you can see if your state offers pre-registrations for minors https://www.ncsl.org/elections-and-campaigns/preregistration-for-young-voters

Now back to our regularly scheduled program of Voryn making an absolute fucking fool of himself.

Voryn would never forgive Umi for as long as her miserable life continued. Not only had she embarrassed him in front of Nerevar and screamed so loud she drew the attention of a fucking Ordinator, but as a result of her gnawing on Nerevar's hair he had shaved his fucking head.

All that sun-bleached silk was gone. Reduced to an ugly stubble. No longer did fine waves adorn his shoulders, blow artfully in the breeze, or expose the nape of his neck when pulled into a bun. No more fine baby hairs stick out at wild and charming angles, and no more watching awe-struck as he ran his fingers through it, imagining instead that Voryn was the one messing up the mohawk.

Nerevar was ruined ...or at least he would have been if it weren't for the fact that he wore the haircut well. Voryn didn't know what was worse, the fact that it was gone or the fact that he looked quite handsome with his head shaved. He ended up avoiding the mer out of sheer embarrassment. He had barely left his dorm except for the classes he couldn't do online and had even started to skip out on clubs.

Almalexia was the one who finally coaxed him out of his solitude. Every year the sororities put on a fall festival, complete with carnival games and fried foods. And it was here, Voryn stood, Loredas afternoon, absolutely miserable. It was cloudy, it was cold, and there were far too many people crowded onto the quad.

He loathed the quad. It was always busy and the vastness was nauseating. He felt as though he might fall into the sky, disappearing forever into the clouds. Ayem had insisted that getting out of the dorms for a bit would do him some good, but Voryn never felt safe outside, no matter who he was with or what he was doing. She always joked that if it weren't for his height he'd be mistaken for being half-Dwemer with how often he stayed locked inside.

The only saving grace was the earmuffs he wore. He had put in a pair of earplugs, and with the muffs, no one would notice. It made it hard to hear Ayem, but the alternative was having to listen to the thronging crowd of people along with her shouting. She kept his attention, whether with pamphlets advertising a new service offered by the college or with sickly sweet treats from the food trucks. They walked around, admiring the vast array of vendors and local artisans.

“So, how have you been? You’re more antisocial than usual.”

“I’m fine I suppose.”

She smirked. “Is it because Nerevar cut his hair?” She teased. “I didn’t think you’d be the type to drop someone over a haircut.”

Voryn shot her mean glare. “I already feel guilty enough as it is, I don’t need you making fun, Ayem.”

“Guilty? What do you mean?”

He mentally cursed himself. Of course, she didn’t know what he was talking about, and if he had just kept his mouth shut he wouldn’t have to recount the embarrassment of what happened in the library.

“Oh that’s hilarious,” She stifled a laugh. “But yeah, I understand why you’d wanna stay inside after that fiasco.”

“Yeah…”

“Hey.” She stopped walking and turned to look at him. “I’ve known Nerevar for a while now. He’s not one for lying and it honestly takes quite a lot to anger him. If anything he most likely finds the whole thing amusing.”

Voryn smiled. “Thank you.”

Eventually, they made their way to the section of the fair that had games. Voryn could tell that most of them were rigged to hell and back and that the prizes weren’t good quality either. Nevertheless, they both purchased some play tickets at the front booth and tried their hand at a few. Ring toss, a duck shooter, and one with a small tub that held rubber frogs that you caught with a flimsy plastic rod.

Then, he saw it. A gigantic mudcrab plushie the size of a guar pony. A small sign saying “Grand Prize” was stuck to it with safety pins. Did Nerevar like plushies? Nerevar liked mudcrab, so he would probably like this, right? He went up to the orc managing the stall.

“How much for the mudcrab?”

The orc laughed at him. “If people could just buy it there wouldn’t be much sense in having a stall here. Besides, it’s much more honorable to win your spoils.”

Voryn, annoyed, asked what he had to do to win the crab.

The orc smiled, baring his tusks in a triumphant display. “All you have to do is beat little ‘ole me in an arm wrestle. That’s it. Should be easy enough for a guy like you, right? The starting fee is two tickets. 30 seconds. If you manage to hold your own against me, you get a small prize. If you manage to move my arm a little, you get a medium prize. Beat me completely and that mudcrab will be yours.”

He spent all his remaining tickets trying to beat this orc in an arm wrestle to absolutely no avail. He couldn’t even hold his own for the thirty seconds, losing spectacularly every time. Voryn knew that winning was a long shot, but still, his heart ached a little at the realization of just how weak he was. Maybe he should start training a little bit. Almalexia seemed to catch his somber gaze.

“Here,” she said firmly, placing two of her tickets on the table. “Let me try.”

“Ayem, you don’t-“

“C’mon, what else am I gonna spend it on?” She grinned. “Besides,” She cracked her knuckles. “It’s been a minute since I’ve had a good challenge.”

The orc rested his elbow on the table, and he and Ayem clasped hands. Three, two, one! The orc seemed startled slightly when his hand started to move, already halfway to touching the countertop. He refocused, trying to gain ground on Almalexia, but she stayed put. Closer and closer, inch by inch, the orc’s fist moved closer and closer to the table. Holy shit, she might actually win this!

A group of mer and men had formed around the pair, hooping and hollering. The timer was forgotten as the orc and Ayem struggled for dominance. Pushing, pulling, straining to win. There was a glint in Almalexia’s eyes, a fire that was rarely seen by any. At least not many who lived for very long. Then, without warning, there was a sickening crack as Almalexia’s arm gave way. She fell to the ground, screaming.

 

———

 

Voryn paced up and down the length of grass outside the first aid tent. The orc, Bogrol, had been the first to rush to Almalexia’s aid when her arm broke, and the one who helped Voryn get her to the first aid tent. She had grit her teeth the entire time, and Voryn was thankful that the crowd parted the way for them. It had more to do with the furious Ordination yelling at them rather than a sense of goodwill, but he was still grateful nonetheless.

Once they got to the first aid tent and Ayem was being tended to, the Ordinator began to interrogate Bogrol right there in the quad. Asking if this was his plan all along, whether he had upped himself with strength potions, or if he intended to murder the heiress of House Indoril. Ayem was yelling from the tent at the Ordinator to stop the entire time, but he didn’t listen. He didn’t want to listen, he wanted Bogrol’s head on a spike.

After a whole lot of chaos and a lot of yelling at the Ordinator to leave the poor orc alone and yes that was a direct order and no he could not argue about it, Ayem emerged from the tent with her arm in a sling.

“How is it? Are you ok?” Voryn asked.

“The break wasn’t that bad, and the healers were able to set it and mend the bone. The muscles are still sore though, and I’ll have to rest it for a few months but other than that I’m fine.”

“Thank the Three,” He sighed. “And the healers, of course.” He added.

“Indeed.”

A voice called out. “Hey!”

The pair turned to see Bogrol jogging toward them, stuffed mudcrab held aloft in his arms.

“I believe this is yours, miss.” he held out the crab.

“Nonsense,” Ayem said. “I didn’t beat you under the terms of the challenge. It would be dishonest of me to accept this.”

Bogrol shook his head. “I’ve been runnin’ arm wrestling competitions for thirty some odd years now, and you are the only person in those thirty some odd years to come close to beating me. That takes strength. Not only that, but you were so intent on winning that you broke the bones in your arm! That takes determination. You also had every opportunity to order the guards to throw my sorry ass in jail for the rest of the era out of spite, and you didn’t. That…” he smiled widely. “…takes honor. I’d say you’ve more than earned it.”

Convinced, Ayem grabbed the plush with her free arm and gave it to Voryn to hold.

“Thank you Bogrol, you yourself are a very honorable man.”

And with that, Bogrol waved goodbye, and dissapeared into the crowd.

“Now,” Ayem said. “Time for you to go give this to your crush.”

He blushed. He hadn’t even told her why he wanted to win the mudcrab, how did she know? “I-“ Voryn stammered. “I don’t know if he’s even here.”

“Yes he is, he’s by the food trucks, see?” Almalexia held up her phone screen. “I just texted him.”

Voryn balked. “I don’t know, does he even like plushies like this? A lot has happened today and ACK-“

Ayem yanked Voryn down by the collar of his hoodie. “I did not break the bones in my fucking arm winning you this plush for Nerevar just for you to pussy out at the last second, mkay?” She was smiling, but her eyes betrayed the truth of her anger.

He swallowed. “Okay,” Voryn squeaked.

The food truck ring was bustling with many a mer, man, and beast, all looking for and enjoying overpriced but tasty food. Nerevar sat on the grass with a few people Voryn didn’t recognize. He took a few steps forward before he realized Ayem wasn’t coming with. He trotted back to her.

“Ayem-“

“Nope!” She shook her head, then grinned. “This one’s all you buddy. Time for baby bird to fly the nest.”

He glared at her, and turned to walk towards Nerevar and his friends. It must look ridiculous, watching him walk around with the giant stuffed crab. He definitely felt ridiculous. His vision started to flatten. Why were there so many people here? Why was the quad so flat and open?

Everyone’s eyes must be looking at him, mocking him, judging him, he was sure. He didn’t see it but he felt it, he knew it! And surely Nerevar was right alongside them too, gawking at this awkward mer holding a cheesy plushie, and for what? He wasn’t even able to earn the damn thing himself. Voryn did his best to shove the thoughts down as his pace and his pulse quickened.

Nerevar’s back was turned to him as he approached, and when he did Voryn stopped, unsure of how to get his attention.

“Uhm, can we help you?” One of the people sat near Nerevar piped up.

The others regarded him with an odd look he couldn’t quite pin down, but it sure as shit didn’t feel nice. Then Nerevar turned to look up at him and Voryn was lost in that ocean blue.

“Voryn!” He grinned. “Glad to see you.” He looked at the plush crab. “Who’s the friend? He looks adorable,”

Voryn’s brain short-circuited. “This is for you!” He shouted, way louder than was necessary, threw the plush at Nerevar, turned tail, and sprinted through the crowd.

He didn’t stop until he had reached the edge of the ring where Ayem stood. He doubled over, panting and gasping for air. His lungs and legs burned. He definitely should start training. At the very least he should go for a walk once in a while.

“Fucking smooth, Romeo. I think you might have given him whiplash with that throw.”

“Shut up or I’ll break your other arm.” He rasped.

She snickered. “Considering how you performed with Bogrol, I’m not that worried.”

 

——————

 

Voryn was embarrassed, stressed, and tired. So, he did what anyone else would: he treated himself to a shiny new sex toy. Sedusa’s was conveniently located a few blocks away from a silt strider line, and it just so happened that Voryn had a 20% off purchase coupon he’d been saving for a moment like this. It was also Sundas, which meant he had all the time in the world to browse to his heart’s content.

It was a local joint, small, but they boasted a wide selection of goods and offered discrete packaging for free. They also sold local art like jewelry and sculptures, as well as lingerie for all your filthy needs. You might not even peg it for an adult store until you take a closer look at what the mannequins in the window were wearing (or rather, what they weren’t wearing).

He was also out of lube, and they just so happened to carry his favorite brand. Distilled with fire salts to give an extra sensation to the fun and made, not with synthetics, but with dreugh wax so it doesn’t dry sticky on the skin. It was expensive, but he deserved it after all he had been put through. Other than that, he honestly didn’t know what he was going to leave with, and that was half the fun of it.

The interior of the shop was larger than it looked from the outside but still cozy. The walls were lined with toys, harnesses, and the like divided into sections according to fetish, and in the middle sat racks of clothing and various accessories. To the left was a stage, roped off from the public, and to the right a few cases where lube and other miscellaneous items sat. It was comfortably dim thanks to the heavy curtains in the window but not so much that you couldn’t see what you were looking at.

Habji, the Alfiq Khajjit who ran the shop, stopped licking her paw to greet him. She sat atop a shelf on the wall behind the counter, fluffy tail swaying lazily behind her.

“Voryn! Haven’t seen this one in some time. Habji was beginning to worry.” She bared her teeth in a rough approximation of a smile.

“Thank you, Habji. I am well, just busy. How has the shop been doing?

“Business is good, could always be better.” She shrugged. “What brings you in? Looking for anything particular, or just browsing?”

“I’m just browsing today, Habji.”

“Very well, let Habji know if you need anything!”

He turned a dildo over his hands. It was nice, good-quality silicone with enough subtle detail to make it feel like the real thing. Then he saw the name. ‘Soren The Stallion’s Sumptuous Schlong’. He put it back. Whoever is in charge of naming dildos needs to be smacked upside the head. He’d rather stare at a box that had a serial number across the top.

‘Emperor Erectus’, ‘The Fisting Hands Of The Molagmer’, ‘Lusty Argonian Labia’, ‘Dres Daddy Dick Dominator’, ‘Malacath’s Massive Masturbator’, ‘Rorik’s Rectal Ruiner’, and perhaps most egregious of all: ‘The Morag Tong Moaner’ and its counterpart ‘The Camona Tong Cummer’. Buy both and you get a “double agent” discount.

Voryn moved away from the dildo section and found himself flipping through the racks of clothing. Lingerie marketed for men was ugly as sin, and he didn’t exactly have a feminine figure, so finding pieces that both fit and looked good on him was difficult. But he found a few items that looked promising and decided there wasn’t harm in trying.

One thing he appreciated about Sedusa’s is that they had changing rooms with full-length mirrors. Don’t get too excited. There was no door, only a curtain, and they were placed right next to the counter so that the employees would hear anything that might be going on. Not that Voryn would ever do anything, of course.

He ended up with two things that worked. A leather catsuit that laced up the sides from the ankles to the top, with an off-the-shoulder neckline and a deep v-cut that kissed his navel, laced as well. The laces allowed him to fit it perfectly to his body without crushing the ever-loving fuck out of his dick, and it wasn’t nearly as sweaty as he expected it to be. Paired with a fur coat and a pair of stilettos, he might pass for a proper tramp. It even had a zipper in the crotch for easy access.

The second piece was a robe in his favorite shade of blood red. Long and silken, with a feather-lined hem and cuffs. It was loose and elegant and quite frankly comfortable as fuck. Voryn considered the idea of wearing it to bed as a nightgown rather than for any tawdry purpose. The silk was soft and the feathers were sewn in securely. It was reasonably priced given how luxurious it felt. Draped on Voryn’s body, it looked like something a noble would buy for his mistress to keep her happy. And it did make Voryn very happy indeed.

He put the ill-fitting items back on the reshelving rack near the changing rooms and headed to the front counter. Just as he got there, one of the displays at the front caught his eye. He leaned down. An assortment of multicolored and strange-shaped toys sat on a shelf inside the plexiglass case. A small placard read: Oblivion Creations - Dohvakiss Collection. Each dildo looked weirder than the last. Some were twisted, others curved, some had ridged textures and others were smooth. All looked nothing like a regular mortal penis. The base of each dildo sported a scale-like pattern to mimic the skin of a dragon. Now that was different!

“Ah, we just got those in last week. Habji hears good things about this brand.” The khajit remarked from atop her perch.

One in particular grabbed his attention. It was an iridescent purple that faded to yellow at the tip. It tapered towards the base and sported a series of plate-like ridges along the bottom of the shaft. It looked good and was honestly the most normal-looking one in the case.

“I’d like to take a look at this one, the purple one on the far left.”

“Very well. Oleth!” Habji called out. “This one needs help with the case.”

“Yeah, yeah!” A voice replied from the employee-only section. “I’m coming you mangy housecat, you don’t need to yowl!”

A Chimer pushed aside the curtain and stepped through. As he did, Habji -hackles raised and fangs bared- swatted at his head several times. He cursed, ducking down and pressing a hand to his cheek where she had cut him.

“You refer to Habji by her name or under Habji’s employment you will find yourself no longer!” He had never heard a khajit yell like that, much less an alfiq, and it was clear this was not the first out-of-pocket comment spoken by Oleth.

Oleth stood, glowering, and addressed Voryn as if nothing had happened. “Whad’ya want?”

“Firstly, apologize to Habji, there’s no need to be vulgar like that.”

Oleth’s glower hardened, but he turned around and muttered a half-assed apology. As he did, Voryn could see the Telvanni mage sigil tattooed onto the back of his neck. He had to stifle a laugh. No wonder he was such an ass to Habji. Oleth must be pretty down on his luck to find himself employed at a sex shop, and a piss-poor mage at that. Voryn wondered if maybe he had been kicked out of the Telvanni guild, or if this was punishment for some crime.

The mage turned back to Voryn but before he could say anything, Voryn interrupted.

“Secondly, I want you to wash your hands before touching anything. You’re getting blood everywhere.” He sneered. “It’s disgusting.”

The mer looked just about ready to leap over the counter and strangle Voryn, but instead, he turned back, ducking past the curtain. He came back a few moments later, drying his hands on his tunic.

“Now.” Oleth tried to put on his best customer service smile and failed spectacularly. “How can I help you?”

“I’d like to take a look at the one on the far left, the purple one. Thank you.”

Oleth grimaced as he bent down to slide open the plexiglass door. He picked up the toy and hastily set it on the counter as if it were going to bite him on the hand. He shot Voryn a judgmental look. You’re the one working in a sex shop, not me. Voryn kept that thought to himself.

“Is that all?” Oleth asked.

A smile threatened the corner of his lips. “No. Could you grab me the one in the middle…oh! That yellow one looks fun. And that red one on the far right. I want to make sure I get the perfect fit.” He met Oleth’s eyes. “You know what I mean, right Oleth?”

The mer looked mildly horrified as he grabbed the dildos from the display case, and it brought a small warmth to Voryn's heart to see him suffer slightly. He did deserve a little bit of his own medicine after all.

“Very well, that’s enough.” He waved his hand dismissively at Oleth, who in turn stormed off with his fists clenched at his side like a toddler.

Habji buried her face in her paws and snickered. “Serves him right,” She giggled.

“I had to get him back for that comment somehow, Habji.”

“Habji appreciates it,”

He picked up the aforementioned red dildo and examined it. Short and thick, with a smooth texture save for some veins at the base. Not really his style, but it looked fun nonetheless. The yellow one was far too large, at least for now, so it too was out of the running.

“Where and why did you even hire a mer like that, Habji?” Voryn asked.

Habji sighed. “Habji owed that one’s father a favor. Oleth is a spoiled rotten brat who needs experience in the real world. Though Habji tries her best, Oleth is still a god-forsaken douche nozzle.”

“I admire your patience, Habji.”

“It grows thinner every day with this one!”

A different Chimer stepped out from the curtain. This one had a shaved head and a vicious scar across the right side of his face. A much more welcome sight.

“Hey!” Jiub rasped. “Long time no see, eh?”

“Indeed. Say, what do think of these ‘Oblivion Creations’? Habji says they have good reviews.”

“Oh yeah, they’re a local brand. Made right here in Mournhold, though they don’t have a physical store right now. But they do take online orders.” Jiub slipped him a business card with a website and email adress on it. “As for how they feel…they’re a little too adventurous for my liking so I really can’t say. You’ll have to trust the reviews on this one.”

Voryn thought for a moment. He had been growing bored of the usual toys he found, and it might be nice to switch it up.

“I’ll take this purple one then, would you box it up for me?”

“Sure thing.”

As Jiub was packing the toy away, Voryn grabbed a few bottles of lube and set them on the counter along with the clothes he bought. After his coupon, the total only came out to 80 bucks and change.

“Oh! I nearly forgot.” Jiub grabbed an event flyer and handed it to Voryn. “There’s a rope play workshop being hosted by yours truly next weekend. It’s just beginner stuff, but I figure you might be interested.”

“Thanks, I might check it out.”

Just as he was turning to leave, he heard a voice call out.

“Voryn? Is that you?”

No. No! NO! Not here, not now. Why here? Why now? Why was that fucking bastard in every corner of Voryn’s life all of a sudden? Had they always been in such close proximity and Voryn never noticed? Abusrd! What on nirn had he done to deserve this? He turned around to meet the blue-eyed-no-longer-blonde-haired mer.

“I didn’t expect to see you in a place like this, I didn’t figure you for the type.”

Nerevar was standing next to a rack of magazines. A rack of magazines that happened to be right next to the front counter. The front counter where Voryn had just spent about fifteen minutes closely examining locally sourced dragon dongs. Voryn prayed to all the spirits, aedra, and daedra that Nerevar had been too absorbed in the magazines to see what Voryn was doing. He knew that wasn’t true.

“Oh uh-“ He scrambled for an excuse, any excuse, to save face and make himself look like less of a weirdo. “I’m just buying a gift for my mother.”

The words left his mouth before he had a chance to process the sentence, and before he had a chance to claw them back into his throat.

Is this what dying felt like?

 

Notes:

The juxtaposition between Voryn’s leather slut suit and frilly neglige will never not be funny to me. Truly the duality of man

Also I wasted so many brain cells coming up with those dildo names i hope you enjoyed them

Also also VOTE.ORG CHECK UR REGISTRATION AND MAKE A VOTING PLAN. TELL UR FRIENDS!

Chapter 6: Pacifism and Masochism

Notes:

!!!!! I re-wrote the first and second chapters!!!!!! I recently watched an amazing video by Cy the Cyborg on yt about the ‘perfect prosthetic’ trope in writing and it got me to completely reevaluate Sotha Sil’s entire character arc. He won’t be a perfect representation of a disabled person as I am able-bodied, but hopefully, I’ve made things a bit better. I put a TLDR in the notes @ the end for those that don’t wanna re-read.

I have Tumblr @grandmasbrisketbasket i have some fanart up

I’m having way too much fun with the sex shop stuff someone please take away my laptop

Also forewarning this chapter gets a little steamy

Just two totally not gay for each other bros doing some casual bondage together.

 

 

Nerevar fell backward under the weight of the plush mudcrab. When he wrestled it off himself he found that Voryn had sprinted halfway across the quad, disappearing behind a food truck. 

“Thank you!” He yelled after the mer, unsure if he could hear him. 

He looked down at the plush crab, grinning like an idiot. Did he get this from one of the carnival games? It was lumpy and weird and shockingly soft. It was the cutest thing he had seen. It was also anatomically incorrect, mudcrabs are filter feeders and don’t possess the standard mouthparts seen in other crustaceans. Some have argued that mudcrabs are more taxonomically related to barnacles rather than true crabs. 

Athyr and Ren started laughing. 

“What a fucking weirdo!” Ren snickered. 

“Oh c’mon, he’s not that weird. He’s actually a sweetheart if you get a chance to talk to him.” Nerevar set the crab plush to the side and leaned back on it. “Besides, I’m pretty sure he’s got an anxiety disorder or something, it probably makes it hard for him to be around people.”

Ren rolled her eyes. Athyr and Ren were two chimers who shared a couple of classes with him. They hung out around campus a few times and Nerevar, being ever friendly, joined them at the fall festival when they invited him over. Now, he realized that he had misjudged their character. 

“Yo, did you see that weird bug he brought with him a few days ago? I heard the little beast ate someone’s face in the library, but because he’s an heir no one did anything,” Athyr said.

Nerevar frowned. “Umi’s not a little beast, she’s just a bug. And no, she didn’t eat anyone’s face, I was there with Voryn the whole time in the library.”

“Nerevar, you really gotta stop doing those pity dates, you’re just gonna get your organs harvested.” Ren sighed. 

“Knock it off, both of you! You’re being asshats.”

“Why are you even defending that freak, anyway?” Ren sneered.

“Why are you talking shit about someone you’ve never met? Has he even done anything to you?” Nerevar sneered back. 

Ren shifted in her seat. “Well no, not exactly. But it’s not hard to realize something’s up with him. He’s always hanging around Vivec and Almalexia. They’re clearly planning something!”

“I’ve heard that Vivec is company-for-hire for some of the wealthy nobles, I bet Voryn is using him as a spy, and bringing that information back to Almalexia,” Athyr said.

What in the hell was going on? Ren and Athyr were perfectly cordial and fine, but the moment someone they don’t like shows up, their brains turn to soup.

“Vivec doesn’t care enough about politics to be a spy,” He felt gross. 

“Oh? And I suppose you know how he thinks?” Athyr inquired. 

“Yeah.” Nerevar couldn’t stop the irritation that rose in his voice. “Vivec and I go way back. We’ve been living together for years now, and I happen to consider him one of my closest friends. He’s the reason why I even decided to go to college in the first place. So please, I won’t ask you again, knock it off. There’s no need to levy baseless accusations and spout conspiracy theories.” 

“Wait,” Ren looked at him incredulously. “I thought you lived with Sotha?” 

“Yes, and Vivec. We share an apartment.”

“Oof, I feel sorry for the both of you.” Ren grimaced. 

“Wait so is it true?” Athyr said, far too excited for Nerevar’s liking. “Is he really whoring himself out to nobles?”

“Vivec’s personal affairs are none of your fucking business, s’wit!” 

“Hah, I fucking knew it!” Athyr’s grin widened. 

Ren snorted. “Who the hell would wanna fuck a mannish prostitute like him?”

“Some people get off on that kind of stuff.”

“Okay, I’m not having any of this shit.” Nerevar stood and gathered his things and slung the mudcrab under his arm. He needed to get the hell away from these asshats before he did something regretful. 

“Oh come off it Nerevar, we’re just messing around!” Ren pleaded. 

“Yeah,” Athyr added. “Don’t be like that.”

Nerevar whipped around, furious. “Be like what? A person who has empathy and treats people with respect?”

Athyr laughed. “You have empathy for those retards?”

He didn’t do violence, at least not anymore. His glory days as a sellsword were over, and he adhered to a strict commandment of pacifism. Nerevar believed, truly, that every conflict can be resolved if you can just get the other party to see reason. Love over war, compassion over fear, et cetera et cetera. He had even sworn an oath to Azura never to raise a hand ever again. But sometimes, a bitch said something so egregious it warranted an ass-kicking. 

By the time he was through with it, Ren was dragging a bloodied and unconscious Athyr to the medical tent, all the while screaming about how he would pay for this. He’d like to see those fetchers try. 

 

—————————

 

“Greetings, welcome to Sedusa’s,” Nerevar looked down to see a tabby-colored alfiq trotting across the floor towards him. “Let Habji know if you need anything,”

“Thank you,” He looked around the store. 

He thought he had mentally prepared himself for what the inside might look like. Despite his nature as an equal-opportunity fuckboy, he had never actually been in a store like this. But he knew what was inside, so surely it wouldn’t be that surprising. Oh, how wrong he was. He hadn’t even fully stepped into the store and already he saw things that he could not possibly discern the use of. 

Habji cleared her throat. “Habji requires that you move, friend.” She sat at his feet, looking up expectantly. 

“Oh! Sorry, my bad.” Nerevar shuffled to the side. 

“Many thanks,” 

Habji leaped forward and scaled the side of the wall, landing on an outcropped perch. The perch was bathed in the sunlight that streamed over the top of the curtain, and Habji looked quite pleased as she stretched out in the golden beams. She turned around a few times and curled up. A yellow eye opened to find Nerevar still looking at her. 

“Can Habji help you?”

“No, my apologies, sera. I’m just jealous of your lofty seat is all.”

“Jealous?” Her tail twitched curiously. 

“You look radiant in that light. I myself tried a few times to sunbathe as the Khajit do, but all I get in return is a nasty sunscorch on my backside.” He chuckled.

Habji stared at him. “Habji has not heard of an elf being jealous of sunbathing. Most decry us lazy for it.”

“If I had fur to cover my ass I’d take naps in the sun too!”

Habji laughed at that. “You are funny blue eyes. You are welcome in Habji’s store any time.” She purred. 

Nerevar smiled, and Habji returned to her nap. 

Now that he had exhausted all methods of stalling, he had no choice but to venture further into the unknown. He found himself standing in front of a rack of magazines near the front counter. A bald chimer with a nasty scar over his right eye talked to a customer. They were discussing and standing over a case of…Nerevar had no idea. They were multicolored and frightening. 

He looked back at the rack of magazines. Most of them had truly outrageous titles. “Busty Bosmer Babes Vol 5”, “Orgasmic Orismer,” “Fantastic Fucks”, “Swords and Spears”, “Quiverfull”, and an especially dusty volume titled “Mysterium Sexys”. He snickered. 

Just then the mer at the counter bid his goodbyes and left. Nerevar caught the sight of his face as he walked by. 

“Voryn, is that you?” The mer stopped and turned around. He looked slightly pained. “I didn’t expect to see you in a place like this, I didn’t figure you for the type.” He thought a little banter might ease him. 

“Oh uh,” His eye twitched. “I’m just buying a gift for my mother is all.” 

Voryn’s face went paler than a bleached butthole and contorted into an expression of pure mortification. He whipped around and left the store so fiercely that he nearly took the hinges off the front door. Nerevar blinked, processing what just happened. 

“Uh, well then.” The mer at the counter cleared his throat. 

“I don’t think he meant to say that,” Nerevar said, trying to preserve some of Voryn’s dignity. 

“Poor fop. Of all the things he could have said.” He shook his head. “I’m Jiub by the way, holler if you need anything,” He grabbed a few of the rainbow mystery items from the counter and put them back in the display case. 

Nerevar, ever curious and never keeping to himself, asked about them. “What exactly are those things?”

“Dragon dildos. They’re from a local company called ‘Oblivion Creations’ and this is their latest collection.” Jiub said nonchalantly as he shut the display case. “You interested in them?”

“Dragon….what?” He squeaked. 

He approached the case with trepidation in his feet and suspicion in his eyes. There was no fucking way….people put these things inside of…what? They looked nothing like anything he had ever seen before. Curved, coiled, and textured, they looked far too ridiculous to be taken seriously. A bright yellow one that sat on the bottom shelf was as long as his forearm and three times as thick. Another red one looked normal until you got to the bulbous-shaped head. Wait…did that mean….did Voryn buy one of these? With the intention of using it? Nerevar shoved that thought aside, swallowing thickly. 

“You good?” Jiub rasped. “You look like you’ve seen the face of death herself.”

“I uh,” Nerevar rubbed the back of his neck. “Have never seen anything like this.”

“Yeah, they’re a bit of an acquired taste. We do have some tamer options over in that section. Feel free to look around and browse.”

Nerevar looked to where Jiub had gestured and went beet red. Somehow the realistic, normal-sized cocks were worse to look at. It gave him butterflies of embarrassment in his stomach. He looked at the floor instead. He shuffled stiffly over to a shelf to make himself look occupied. Why was he so embarrassed? Sure some stuff was weird, but a lot of the stuff he had seen already in porn. And yet he felt like he was seeing a naked body for the first time again, all clammy and nervous and at the same time excited. 

“First time in a place like this?” Jiub’s voice startled him. 

“What’s it to you?” 

Jiub snorted. “Oh please babe, I can spot a virgin from a mile away. No need to be embarrassed by it.” 

His skin prickled and he blushed. “I’m not a virgin, not that it’s any of your business.” He crossed his arms over his chest. 

Jiub raised an eyebrow in disbelief. 

“I have sex like, all the time!” He mentally cringed when he heard himself say that. “You looking to call my bluff?” He smirked. “Ply me with enough alcohol and I can show you just how skilled I am~”

”A tempting offer, but I’m already spoken for, kid.”

Kid. Kid? Just who does this asshat think he is?

”Are you always this rude to your customers?” He snapped. 

Jiub chewed the inside of his lip, thinking, and studying Nerevar. “It’s normal to be a little flustered. Seeing this kind of stuff up close and in person is different than seeing it online or hearing about it.” Gods fucking damn it all to Oblivion, Nerevar needed to get a poker face. “Don’t sweat. And there’s no judgment here either, and don’t feel pressured to buy anything. Plenty of folks come in just to see what’s what cuz they're curious.”

Nerevar stood there for a moment. 

“…I don’t even know where to start,”

”A vibrator would be a safe choice. They’re a good pick for a first toy, and they’re pretty versatile too.”

”Versatile?”

”Yeah, anywhere it feels good to touch with your hands, it’ll feel good to touch with a vibrator. I’ve met very few people who don’t like them.”

Nerevar was interested and took a look at the options. As Jiub answered his questions, he felt far more at ease. He learned a lot, like what materials a toy should be made of, how to keep it clean, and that under no circumstance should he ever put anything inside himself that wasn’t designed for that purpose or didn’t have a base. Jiub was very insistent upon that last point. He ended up going home with a small pink vibrator that had ten different settings on it, and Jiub even let him take it out of the box so he could test it. 

Jiub rang him up and even gave him a first-purchase discount. As he was grabbing the bag, he saw a flyer on the counter. It was for a rope play community workshop, hosted at Sedusa’s about a week from now. 

“What’s bondage?”

”Damn man, you really are vanilla!”

Nerevar shot him a glare. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t make fun like that. But bondage is a type of kink that involves restraining you or your partner’s movements. Handcuffs, harnesses, rope- stuff like that. Rope play is a specific subset of bondage. Because it can take a little more time to set stuff up, a lotta rope play tends to focus more on the foreplay aspect of sex.”

”…so this is like…” He turned the flyer over. “Advertising an orgy? For people who like to be tied up?”

Jiub put a palm to his face. “Gods, no!” He took a deep breath. “It’s an introductory workshop. It’s a place where people -like you- who are interested in but not familiar with kink to explore it in a safe place with the guidance of an expert.”

”Oh, sorry.” He took a closer look at the flyer, and saw Jiub’s name on it next to the word ‘instructor’. “Ah, so you’re the expert on all things bondage, then?”

It was Jiub’s turn to blush, and Nerevar felt a little better knowing he wasn’t the only one suffering a little embarrassment today. 

“I wouldn’t go that far…but I am experienced. I’ve hosted a few beginner workshops on rope play before.”

”So, what is it like? The workshop, I mean.”

“Well, it starts with a presentation, just kinda going over what rope play is and stuff. Then there’s a portion about general safety and such. After that, I’ll demonstrate a few simple ties, and then if folks want to try for themselves they can.”

”Why would people wanna get together to do that stuff? It seems a lil weird…”

”It’s definitely not something people are used to, for sure. But it can really help if you’re not the only one trying to figure things out for the first time. You can ask questions, get feedback, all that good stuff.”

Nerevar chewed the inside of his lip. ”Huh. Do you mind if I take one of the flyers?”

”Sure! And again, no pressure to attend and there won’t be any judgment if you do.”

”Thanks.”

—————————

Nerevar stood near the stage in Sedusa’s. Jiub and another chimer with olive skin and short hair set up a projector on a table. More fool him, Nerevar had shown up a whole half-hour early to the event and thus had to stand awkwardly in the corner while he waited for people to arrive. He had misremembered the time on the poster. 

“Do you…uh….need help with anything?” Nerevar asked. 

“Nah, but thank you though.”

“Right.” He cleared his throat. 

“I’m Enarus, by the way, I don’t think I introduced myself earlier.” The mer had turned to Nerevar. 

Their face was androgynous, with two small tusks curling from their lip. Nerevar couldn’t tell if they were half-orismer or just a devout worshipper of Malacath. They wore casual clothes, all in dark colors, and chunky boots with silver metal accents. Their hair was a deep brown, almost black, and cut into a chunky bob with very short bangs. 

“Oh! I’m Nerevar, it’s nice to meet you. Do you also work at Sedusa’s?”

“Nah, I’m Jiub’s partner, I’m just helping him with this ‘lil shindig. You got a partner coming?”

“No, I’m afraid.” Nerevar rubbed the back of his head, briefly forgetting he had shaved it recently and jumping slightly at the sensation of the short hairs tickling his palm. 

“Really? We don’t get that many solos, usually, it’s all couples trynna spice up their sex life.” Jiub piped up. “With the way you bragged about how much sex you had, I figured you at least have a side piece here.”

“No offense but that would be a horrible idea. Not that I have any side pieces to begin with.”

“Wait,” Enarus stopped fiddling with the cords on the projector. “Do you, or do you not sleep around? I don’t get it.”

“I don’t ’sleep around’ I just…I have a lot of one-night stands is all.”

Jiub laughed. “Buddy that is sleeping around, that is literally what you just described.”

Nerevar had no response. Why was he talking about his sex life to strangers? They really didn’t need to know that. But something about the way Jiub and Enarus casually plied him with questions made his lips loose. It made sense really, they were in a sex shop. What else were they going to talk about? The weather? Fortunately for him, a couple walked through the door and served as a distraction.

“Fucks sake, I put 6 on the flyer didn’t I?” Jiub muttered to himself. “You tramps are eager, eh?” 

The brown-haired mer gave him a swat on the back of the head. Jiub shot them a rude gesture in response. The mer rolled their eyes. 

“Heyo! We’re gonna get started in a bit, feel free to browse the store while you wait.” Jiub said. 

As more and more people filed into the shop, the more and more Nerevar felt like he was out of his element. Everyone was either talking to whatever partner they brought with them or scrolling on their phone waiting for the event to start. Jiub and Enarus were occupied with setting a table out near the projector. Several bundles of red cording sat on the table, along with a stack of zines. They looked handmade. 

There were about half a dozen couples now, and a group of three that Nerevar thought might be a polycule. Or maybe they were just friends…who brings a friend to an event like this? But even as Nerevar thought that he wished someone was here with him. Vivec, Sotha, hells he’d even take Arthyr or Ren if it meant he could have someone to talk to (even if it was an unpleasant conversation). 

His prayers were answered soon enough, for who should walk through the door but Voryn Dagoth, his long hair flowing loosely down his shoulders, wearing dark jeans and a black hoodie that said ‘emotionally exhausted’ in red lettering. Nerevar thanked his lucky stars that someone he knew was there. Voryn, however, seemed to feel differently. 

The moment they made eye contact across the room, Voryn balked. He balanced and tripped over his own feet as he turned back towards the door. Absolutely not, thought Nerevar. He needed Voryn, he needed him here. He jogged after the tall mer and grabbed his arm before he could make it to the door. 

“Voryn! Thank the Three, I’m so glad you’re here!” Nerevar couldn’t stop the slight frenetic tone in his words.

Voryn blinked down at him. “What.?”

“Yeah, I wanted to do this rope…uh…thingy, tonight but I think I’m a little over my head here. Have you been to one of these before?”

The mer looked at the door, then to Nerevar, then back to the door, then settling on Nerevar. He relaxed slightly. “Not to this one in particular, but I am familiar with this kind of stuff.”

”Really?” Nerevar was disappointed, not because he wanted Voryn to also be uncomfortable, but because he wanted someone he could sit in the discomfort with.

”Yeah…” 

A thought popped into his mind. A potentially destructive one, but it also had the potential to endear himself to Voryn. Besides, he couldn’t help himself when he was in a position to make a good joke. 

“I see.” Nerevar let go of Voryn’s arm and stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets. “Did your mother teach you?” He grinned impishly. 

”I didn’t mean to say that!” He hissed. “I…I just panicked ok? I wasn’t expecting to see you…” He looked down at the ground, glaring harshly. 

”I tease! I know you didn’t mean to say that. Not gonna let you live it down though.” He chuckled. 

Just then Jiub called from the stage, announcing that they’d be starting soon and to find a seat. 

“Well then,” Nerevar said before offering his hand to Voryn. “Shall we?”

Voryn just nodded and took the hand in his. Voryn and Nerevar sat on a bench that had been brought out for the workshop. There were a few more benches along with a handful of folding chairs all arranged in front of the stage. Jiub, seeing the two of them holding hands, wiggled his eyebrows at Nerevar. He blushed, hard, hoping that Voryn wouldn’t notice. 

Then, the presentation started. 

Jiub stood on stage and introduced himself and his partner, Enarus. A short presentation followed, explaining the history of rope play and how it can enhance time in the bedroom. A non-sexual version of this is used in several religious rites, mostly in rituals for Mephala. He couldn’t help but sneak a look at Voryn at the mention of the spider queen. Voryn’s face was impassive, and Nerevar couldn’t help but let his imagination wander at what such a ritual would entail. The presentation then moved onto the topic of consent and ‘safewords’. 

“In BDSM, safewords are used to ensure that if anyone feels unsafe during play, they can immediately signal that to their partner. Safewords should always be discussed before starting anything, and ideally, they should be short and easy to remember. They should also be unique enough that they won’t accidentally be said during the play itself.

When the safeword is said, what happens afterward is something you and your partner need to discuss. This may mean the end of play entirely or it may mean just taking a break before heading back in. Some people have a few different safewords for different things, like whether you want the play to stop completely, or if you just want to go in a different direction. This is, again, something you need to discuss with everyone involved before starting play.

There are a few reasons why you might want a safeword as opposed to just telling your partner to stop whatever they’re doing. Firstly, saying a single word is much faster than a whole phrase. There are also certain role play scenarios where saying ‘stop’ or ‘no’ isn’t enough to communicate your needs.”

Then, it was on to the demonstration. Enarus stood on stage while Jiub took one of the bundles of rope and bound Enarus at the wrists. He talked about the kinds of knots you can tie, how to make sure you’re not tying them too tight, and all the while demonstrating how to verbally check in on your partner and make sure they’re alright. A small length of rope and a stick were passed out so people could practice the various knots. Jiub then went on to show a few more simple ties, including a fancy leg pattern that looked deceptively complex. 

“Another thing to note about rope play specifically is that while it is a subset of bondage you don’t actually have to restrict your partner’s movement or make them uncomfortable. There are a number of ties that serve to just create pretty patterns on the body, or provide extra hand holds for more complex or physically demanding positions.”

The aforementioned leg pattern was one such example, creating a cross-cross of diamonds up and down the length of Enarus’ leg. 

“Now, that concludes both the presentation and the demonstration. Thank you Enarus.” The mer gave a little curtsy and left the stage. “If, and there is no pressure, anyone would like to try it out for yourself, you can pair up with someone or Enarus is available to be your bunny. I’ll be around to help and give advice. Does anyone wanna volunteer a safeword?”

“Pineapple!” Someone shouted. 

“Alrighty then. The terms of the safeword shall be such: If someone says ‘pineapple’ they need to be untied immediately and without question. If the person doing the tying says the safeword, I will step in for them. For the sake of everyone’s safety, tying anything around the face or neck will not be permitted tonight. I have a pair of rope scissors should anyone get stuck.

There will also be no lasso-ing and playing cowboy, there will be no tying of nooses -even as a joke- and there will be no - I repeat - absolutely no removal of clothing. Keep your shirts on, please, and thank you. Everyone understands?”

The crowd murmured in agreement.

“Beautamous, now keep in mind I have both the right and the strength to kick your sorry ass outta here should you violate these rules. Now,” Jiub gestured broadly to the table. “Feel free to come up and grab a bundle of rope and an instruction booklet, and practice some of the ties. If you just wanna sit back and watch, that’s also fine.”

As people filed onto the stage, Nerevar shifted in his seat. “I’m-I really wanna try this. You ok with being my test dummy?” He laughed nervously. 

“Sure,” Voryn said. “Have you done this before?”

”No, I didn’t even know this was a thing.”

”Then you can practice on me first.” Voryn stood from the bench and grabbed a bundle of rope and one of the booklets. 

Nerevar flipped through it. It was a collection of simple ties, with plenty of pictures and instructions. 

“Do you uh, have a preference for any of these?”

”No. Dealer’s choice.”

”Ok, uh…” Nerevar picked a pattern and grabbed the bundle of rope. ”Have you ever done this before?”

”Yes, I’ve been on both sides of this before. You asked me that earlier.”

Nerevar swallowed. He untied the bundle and slung the loose coil over his forearm, nestling it in the crook of his elbow to prevent it from getting tangled as Jiub showed. Voryn took off his hoodie, making Nerevar blush slightly as his shirt rode up to reveal a dark trail of hair flowing down his navel. He wondered what it would be like to run his tongue across it. Nerevar swallowed, again. 

“You good?”

“Oh! Yeah, just worried…I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.” Nerevar refocused his attention on the booklet. “I wanna make sure I get this right, is all.”

Reading the instructions, he realized this pattern was a touch more complex than he initially thought. Still, he pressed on. He started by measuring out a length of the rope four times the length of Voryn’s forearm. From there Voryn’s arms were crossed in front of his chest and bound together. While it wasn’t particularly difficult, it was a lot more tedious than Nerevar thought. Ten minutes had passed and he wasn’t even halfway done with the pattern. 

“The knots you’re tying are very good, I thought you said you hadn’t done this before,” Voryn remarked. 

”Yeah, I haven’t done any of this…bondage…stuff…but! Back when I lived on the coast I was one of the people in charge of making fishing nets for the rest of the clan. I would also tie fishing lines and weave crab baskets.”

”I wasn’t aware the Ahemmusa had such an intense tie to the ocean.”

”You don’t even know the half of it. Our wise woman said that Azura was born from the foam of the morning tide, holding the pearl that would become the Prophet Veloth-“ He stopped and looked at Voryn. “How’d you know I was from the Ahemmusa?”

Voryn’s eye twinged. “Lucky guess.” He stated firmly. 

”Lucky guess indeed.” Nerevar chuckled. “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were stalking me! I don’t really talk about my heritage that much…I probably should though.”

”Why don’t you?”

He sighed. “It’s…complicated.” Nerevar had finished tying Voryn’s arms together and was moving to the second half of the pattern, which wrapped around Voryn’s waist and down one of his thighs. “I wasn’t born into the clan, I was just kinda…dropped off, to put it nicely. They raised me well enough, but I could always tell I was viewed as an outsider…no matter how many sacred tattoos I got.”

”I’m very sorry to hear that, Nerevar. That must have been hard on you as a kid.”

”It was…but there’s no use crying over a past you can’t change. I found my people sure enough, Vivec and Sotha are my real family as far as I’m concerned.” Nerevar had finished the last part of the rope tie and stood back to admire his work. 

Voryn looked down at his bound hands, flexing his wrists against the rope. “Solid knots, you did well.”

Nerevar blushed. “Thanks.” He shifted slightly. “So like, what now? Do I untie you?” 

Voryn shrugged. “Only if you want to.”

His face was impassable, and Nerevar felt the air grow warm around him. He didn’t want to know how red his face looked. 

”How’re you folks doing?” 

Nerevar nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Jiub behind him. 

“We’re fine, Jiub,” Voryn said. “You should see this, Nerevar did very well for such a complex pattern on his first try.”

Jiub bent down to look at the bind on Voryn’s arms. He tugged at a few of the knots. 

”Damn kid, it appears I’ve underestimated you. It’s not too tight either, I’m impressed. Let’s see you untie this though, without getting the rope tangled.” 

That last part was easier said than done, but Jiub took pity on him and helped so that the rope wouldn’t get severely matted together. Voryn grabbed the coil and turned to Nerevar. 

“Did you want to be tied up?” 

The forward nature of the question left Nerevar reeling. Yes, he did, but saying that out loud felt weird. So he just nodded. 

“Alright, then. Pick a pattern.” Voryn held the zine out to him. 

“D-dealer’s choice.” Oh, how Nerevar loathed the stutter in his voice. 

Voryn flipped through the booklet, chewing the inside of his lips. He flipped through it. “I honestly can’t decide…they’re all pretty boring-” he muttered under his breath. 

Boring. Boring?

”You could always improvise then~,” Nerevar said. “You’ve done this before, right? Surely you could come up with something a little more creative.”

Voryn sighed as he flipped through the book a second time. “I could, but it’s probably not the best idea. It’s your first time, we should stick to something simple. Besides, I don’t want to be on the wrong end of Jiub’s scissors.”

”What if you got his permission?”

Voryn looked at Nerevar, and that raw hunger flitted in his eyes. He looked the other up and down, chewing the inside of his lip. 

“I can go ask…” Voryn trailed off, mind elsewhere, as he turned and walked toward Jiub. 

Jiub was currently occupied with helping a mer untangle their rope, and Voryn tapped on his shoulder and motioned for him to step to the side so they could talk. Nerevar couldn’t hear what was said, but Jiub was facing toward him. He saw Jiub’s eyebrows raise, and then he shrugged before saying. Voryn stepped past him, onto the stage, and grabbed two more bundles of rope.

He locked eyes with Jiub, and Jiub’s eyes narrowed. Not out of animosity or any other negative emotion, just…studying him. Nerevar felt his insides squirm. As Voryn trotted down the steps of the stage, Jiub grabbed his shoulder and pulled him down to whisper something into his ear, still while looking at Nerevar. Voryn nodded. 

Maddening! Utterly maddening it was to watch two people -who you know are talking about you- talk about you and you are unable to hear what they are talking about! Voryn’s face remained impassive as he walked back to their seat and Nerevar hoped to Azura that he didn’t look the same way he felt. Desperate and eager. 

As much as Nerevar wanted to go into this blind, Voryn declined that particular offer. 

”I’m not going to do that, respectfully. I am going to walk you through the steps so you know what’s happening.” 

Nerevar pouted. “I’ve already seen most of what’s going on, I know what’s what. It’s no big deal.” 

Voryn crossed his arms. “You don’t know what I’m going to do to you. You asked me to improvise, and because Jiub trusts me and knows that I know what I’m doing, has allowed me to do so. I will be telling you what I’m doing.” His voice had an air of seriousness that informed Nerevar that Voryn wasn’t fucking around. 

He swallowed. “S-sorry…what did you have in mind, exactly?” 

He set the bundles of rope on the table and took out his phone. “This-“ he turned the phone screen to Nerevar. “Is a kind of frog tie. What do you think?” 

On the screen was a drawn image of a figure in a sitting position, with their legs tied so they were forced to kneel with their legs spread. Their arms were tied behind their back, and a criss-cross diamond pattern not unlike the one shown on Enarus’s leg caressed their torso.

“That looks fun.” Nerevar’s mouth was so fucking dry. He swallowed anyways. “Sure.”

A small smile played at the edge of Voryn’s lips as he slung the bundle of rope over his forearm. “On your knees then.”

Nerevar was neon red now, he was sure of it. He sank to the ground, and slid his jacket off his shoulders. Voryn joined him on the floor, and started his work. As he went, it became clearer and clearer to Nerevar that the other was no amerture. He started with Nerevar’s legs, binding them with two separate lengths of rope, before joining them together in the back. Then it snaked up his torso and ended at his shoulders. The last length of rope was used to tie his arms together behind his back, using the same pattern as the one on his legs. Or so Voryn told him, Nerevar couldn’t exactly see what was going on back there. 

“I’m done. How do you feel? Anything digging in or uncomfortable?”

”No…where the hell did you even learn to do this stuff? And learn to do it so well?”

”My mother taught me.” Voryn remarked dryly. ”In all seriousness, most of this shit is online. There are courses and books you can buy.”

”I see. I might have to ask you to lend me some of those books sometime.” Nerevar smirked. 

Voryn blushed. “Uh, sure.”

People started to crowd around him, oohing and aahing at the work Voryn had done. Nerevar squirmed under their gaze, very quickly realizing that he couldn’t move. At all. He could turn his head but that was about it. The rope was so secure and snug against his body, almost steadying in a way. His eyes fluttered closed. He wondered what he looked like to them, kneeling and squirming on the ground, perfectly poised and seated. If they wanted to, they could start touching him and he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. A horrifying feeling washed over Nerevar. 

He was growing thoroughly aroused by the idea of that. 

“P-Pineapple! Pineapple! I’d like to be untied now!” He squeaked. “My shoulder is starting to hurt really bad!” He tacked on at the last minute, hoping it would dissuade any questions. 

The crowd around him dispersed, and Voryn dipped down to untie him. Jiub and Enarus also helped, and within mere minutes, he was free. Nerevar stood and stretched. He walked over to a quieter corner of the shop to get some space. Voryn followed him.

”Are you okay?” Voryn asked gently. 

“Yeah, heh. I just got kind of overwhelmed with everyone standing over me like that.” He blushed, and rubbed the back of his head. “I’m fine now though, thanks.”

Except he wasn’t. He could barely look Voryn in the eyes knowing that he had almost popped the boner of the century at the thought of a crowd of strangers groping him while he was tied up.

”I’m really sorry, I should have gone with something simpler. Is your shoulder ok?” Voryn wrung his hands together.

“Nah, you’re good. I was the one who asked after all. I’m fine really. I just need a little air.”

”…Alright then.” And with that, Voryn shuffled back to where the others were, and started to gather up the bundles of rope. 

The rest of the workshop continued without incident. Nerevar joined the others as Jiub said goodnight, and thanked everyone. They all filed out of the store, but not before Jiub grabbed Nerevar to talk to him and make sure everything was ok, which he found genuinely sweet. 

Nerevar stepped out of the store to find Voryn standing on the street corner. It was dark now, what little stars survived in the magelight of the city twinkling weakly against the sky. With his long hair and dark clothes, Voryn looked almost like a wraith in the dark. As he approached, he could see Voryn fidgeting with a small device in hands. It was one of those vape things Vivec always complained about (not that he had any right to throw such large stones in such a small glass house). Voryn stuffed it in his hoodie pocket when he saw Nerevar. 

“Hey, I just wanted to say I had a really fun time with you tonight. Even if everything didn’t go exactly as planned. It was nice.” 

Voryn just stared at him, blinking. ”Thanks.” He spoke slowly, as if his tongue were made of molasses. “I had fun too. You did really well for your first time. I was impressed. You don’t make for a bad bunny either.”

“What does that mean? Cause Jiub called Enarus a bunny earlier too.”

”Oh…” Voryn’s cheeks flushed. “The person who is doing the tying is called the rigger, and the person being tied up is called a rope bunny.”

”Ah, well in that case I’ll have to bring ears and tail next time.” Nerevar smiled. 

Voryn snickered. “It’s not literal…”

”I know…” They stood there for a moment in the darkness, and in the silence of the street. 

“Oh! There’s something I’ve been meaning to give you-“ Nerevar patted his pockets for the small braid of hair. “Aha! Here, it’s for Umi. I figured she might be in need of a snack.”

Nerevar held out the lock of his hair to Voryn. He didn’t know why he had felt compelled to save some of it for Umi. Maybe her cute bug shenanigans had rubbed off on him. Mostly he just wanted to make Voryn laugh. Voryn, wide-eyed and open mouthed, said nothing. Nerevar shifted. Was this weird? No it was definitely weird and now Voryn thought he was weird as well. Fuck. Eventually he muttered out a small ‘thanks’, and took the braid from Nerevar. 

“No worries, I hope she enjoys it. Anyway, I gotta get going, the strider’s gonna be here soon and Vivec’s gonna have my ear if I’m out too late again. Text me ok?”

”Ok.” Voryn stood staring at the braid for quite some time. 

Notes:

Google docs kept autocorrecting Jiub to Joubert and it was the funniest fucking thing.

Also I went to a Halloween party recently dressed as a “witch” (im alt/goth and just picked the fanciest broom skirt in my closet put on my docs and called it a day) and someone told me i looked like an androgynous Cyndi Lauper and. yall. The gender EUPHORIA!

Changes to first 3 chapters:
>Sotha’s research is now focused on circuits that draw on magicka as opposed to electricity (rather than literally making a ‘perfect prostetic’.” Magic interferes with electronics in certain circumstances, so Sotha wants to provide an alternative.
>Sotha sil is no longer on the track team, but he does still run. It’s for himself and it’s a self-care thing
>Nerevar is back on the swim team because I wanted at least one person on a sport team for Drama purposes later down the line.

Chapter 7: Inspiration

Notes:

I really like the ‘voice’ I ended up with for Umi. She was originally inspired by ‘His Dark Materials’ and the daemons that appear in that series. Life-bonded magical creatures that serve as counsel and companion, etc etc. idk if any of you read those books, but Umi originally spoke. But then I thought about a more subtle psychic connection, based on the vauge imagery of the Alethiometer from the same series, and i like it a lot more.

Also: I am pullin the lore for the scarabs straight out of my butthole

 

Voryn slumped against the wall of his room. Umi shot into his arms, chittering with excitement. Blue gemstones, and golden rolling waves. Tasting honey on your tongue. The sensations flashed dully in his mind, repeating over and over. She knew he had visited Nerevar, she could smell him on Voryn. 

 

“Yes…I saw Nerevar today.” He reached up and plucked a stray piece of lint from her carapace. “You haven’t been sneaking into the air ducts again, have you?” 

 

Umi declined to answer that particular question, instead he saw more rolling waves of gold-spun silk, smelling faintly of roses and incense. 

 

Voryn chuckled. “It seems you are just as obsessed with him as I am…” Then, he tasted…something odd. Soapy and stringy, but still yielding under his teeth with a crunch. “Bleh! That’s what his hair tasted like? Why did you eat so much of that stuff, it’s disturbing…” The taste intensified, a piece of burnt toast that perfumed a lonely kitchen. “Stop that!” He hissed. 

 

The taste and smell and image faded, though she chittered angrily. She settled on his back as he changed into more comfortable clothes. Ash Scarabs weren’t -aren’t- familiars, but not exactly pets. One of a few creatures on Nirn who are capable of sapient thought and psychic magic, House Dagoth has been using them -sparingly- as confidants and companions for millenia.

 

While anyone with even a scrap of magic in their blood can talk to an ash scarab, their way of ‘talking’ via psychedelic multi-sensory imagery can be hard to decipher. They’re also quite reclusive and picky, especially when it comes to non-members of House Dagoth. It is considered a great honor to be chosen to bond with a scarab, and few mer outside of Voryn’s immediate family ever receive it. The mer who do get chosen are incredibly skilled spies and mages, people who have proven a deep loyalty to the house. A bond like that is sacred, and a whole host of esoteric rituals are involved.

 

Ash scarabs that aren’t bonded either live in colonies of their own on the slopes of red mountain, or are employed by house Dagoth. Some ply their trade as pest control, spies, and even nannies for small children. An integral part of life in Dagoth lands, especially in the daedric strongholds many of the nobles and politicians call home. 

 

Voryn’s particular family line were the founders of House Dagoth, and subsequently the first ones to bond with ash scarabs. Legend has it that the first lady of Dagoth found refuge from an ash storm by listening to a scarab sing. She was so grateful to the scarab that she prayed and used her magic to turn her eyes the same shade of red as the scarab. The scarab, flattered by the display of devotion, promised that he and his children would be her ears in places she couldn’t hear, her eyes in places she couldn’t see, and her voice in places she couldn’t speak.

 

And in the wind of greyest night,

Mep’ha’la’s whispers died outright

But above the din of fear and fright

Our insect brother sang our plight 

 

Forty-two stanzas follow that one, but because of the transliteration from Ald Daedweris (the secret language spoken and given to the Prophet Veloth by Boethiah before their exodus) to Ald Chimeris (the language that followed from Ald Daedweris and is spoken today), only about half of them rhyme properly. There’s other re-writes that force the rhyme scheme, but Voryn much preffered the clunky charm of the original translation. 

 

Voryn was ruminating on this, and other, related thoughts, when Umi started screaming. He whipped around to find her snuffling around the pockets of his pants. The ones he had been wearing earlier, and the ones he had stuffed the lock of Nerevar’s hair into. He crossed the room in one great stride and plucked Umi off the ground.

 

”NO!” He yanked the braid from her jaws. “I won’t let you have this!”

 

Umi screeched in indignation, and Voryn desperately wanted to carve his eardrums out of his skull so he would never have to hear it again. She wriggled around in the folds of his mind, pulling forth Nerevar’s own words from his memory. ‘It’s for Umi.’ She chittered furiously. A fire ripping through a forest. Searing hot pain as the fur was burned from his hide. The sensation was overwhelming.

 

“STOP! PLEASE!” He cried out. “Just let me have this! Please!”

 

Shorebirds fly south for the winter, and north again for the summer. A pack guar frees its foot from a puddle of muck. Smells of books and tomes in a library, and the sound of pleasant conversation. The fire is back, killing the shorebirds in the fury. 

 

An ultimatum. Either let her eat the lock of Nerevar’s hair, or take her out into the world with him, together, as they were meant to be. He chewed his lips. I was just hair…he honestly didn’t need to be so weird about it. He shouldn’t be taking this long to answer the question. Voryn was a stranger to Nerevar, hell he knew more about Umi than he did about Voryn. Nerevar did say it was for Umi, and what if he found out Voryn kept it? What would he think? Besides….he was being delusional. Even if Nerevar did get close to him, it wouldn’t take long for Voryn’s quirks to gross him out. Keeping the hair would only make that moment hurt even more. 

 

”You’re right…here you go,” He held the braid out to Umi, expecting her to inhale it greedily and be satisfied. “Umi?”

 

She stayed stock still in his arms, quiet. She slid out of his grasp and onto the floor and crawled over to her nest, a mess of blankets and pillows not unlike Voryn’s own bed, and curled up. 

 

“Umi?” No response. “I don’t understand! I gave you what you wanted!” 

 

No. You didn’t. 

 

“What do you mean?” He pleaded with her, tired and exasperated. “What do you want?” 

 

A guar and a cliff racer chase each other. Playfully, laughing in their own strange way. They are different, but happy. Together. The guar loses its footing in the ashen mud, pulled under. It turns to the cliff racer, but it is already disappearing beyond the horizon. Umi was silent after that. 

 

“I-……” He sighed. “It’s….ugh!” He clenched the braid in his fist, nails digging into flesh. “You’re loud, frightening and unruly! Even when you promise to behave, you don't! If you’re so intent on leaving then why don’t you?” 

 

Tears streamed down his face. They weren’t his. 

 

“You cut that shit out!” Voryn wiped his eyes, choking back Umi’s sobs. “I-”

 

The weight of the sadness brought him to his knees, palms cool against the carpet of the dorm. Umi didn’t move, she didn’t speak, she just wept. And she used Voryn’s body to do it. 

 

“Puh-PLEASE!” He sobbed. “I-I’m sorry! Make it stop!”

 

Finally his lungs belonged to him again, and he was able to dry his nose and face. He sat on the floor, bringing his knees to his chest. Umi was silent once more. It seemed hours before he spoke again. 

 

“I’m scared, Umi…people already don’t like me, but they’re adult enough to keep it to themselves at least. With you…being cruel to animals is much easier.” An angry zap traveled up his spine. “I know you’re not an animal, but they don’t know that and it’s hard to explain and there’s so many people at this fucking college and half of them wouldn’t give two shits if you were squashed underfoot!” 

 

Honey coated his tongue. “Yes…Nerevar does appreciate your beauty.” He chuckled. 

 

He loved Umi, truly he did. Back in Kogoruhn, she was always with him no matter what he was doing. Breakfast, dinner, even going out into the surrounding town to visit the market. He would bring back tidbits of gossip for her, and she would find him interesting trinkets for his art. They would pause behind the corners of hallways and jump out to scare whoever was rounding said corner, snickering to each other all the way. He wanted that back, desperately.

 

“Umi…” He took a deep breath. “We’ll try it, ok? But you have to promi-”

 

Umi was on him in an instant, intannae tickling his face eagerly. He couldn’t help himself, and soon he was giggling and nuzzling into her carapace affectionately. Although he welcomed the touches, he couldn’t help the well of fear that settled in his stomach. So many variables, so many -too many- unknowns. There’s no way in hell he was going to be strong enough for it all. 

 

The small scarab soothed the fears as best as she could, but it was no use. He needed something a little more. He rummaged around for his vape, and though he found it, realized he was entirely out of fluid. He didn’t remember going through it that fast, but then again, he didn’t remember a lot these days. Groaning, he rummaged around for his backup stash. Two dusty ass blunts in the very back of his dresser. Not ideal, but it would have to do for now. He’d visit Cauis in the morning before class, if the old coot was even awake that early. 

 

Tossing on a hoodie, he scooped Umi up and trotted down the hall towards the dorm courtyard. There was a nice spot behind a tree, shaded from the bright floodlights of the quad that he often visited. It was here he smoked before bed, and before class, and whenever he could get a chance really. After he was sufficiently blitzed, he tottered back to his room, Umi in tow.

 

Then it was shower time. Hot, searing hot, as hot as he could tolerate. He welcomed the warmth of the water with open arms. He always felt better after a shower. He swayed in the darkness, only half-remembering to wash his body, and nearly falling over several times. Two blunts was one too many apparently. He forgot how strong Caius made them. He eventually found his way out of the shower and into clean clothes.

 

Grabbing the braid Nerevar had given him, he tucked it carefully under his pillow -a childish affection he would inevitable cringe at come the morning- and flopped into his bed. Hair still damp, he tugged the covers over his head. The image of Nerevar perfectly poised and restrained beneath him danced behind his eyelids. The way Nerevar had asked, -no, begged- for something more than a simple arm bind. The entire time Nerevar was on his knees the only thing Voryn could think about  was shoving his cock down that tattooed throat.

 

A wave of guilt washed over Voryn as he remembered that Nerevar had not in fact enjoyed being tied up, and clearly panicked when he realized he couldn’t move. Fuck. Not only did Voryn have to go and be a weirdo but he had to go and scare the hell out of the guy he had a crush on. But then again, if Nerevar had been that put off by the whole thing, he wouldn’t have talked to Voryn afterwards, and he certainly wouldn’t have given that lock of hair. Then again, it was intended for Umi, not him. 

 

What did Nerevar have to gain by doing any of this? Sure Nerevar was kind, but no one was ever that kind without an ulterior motive. His gut tensed. What if he was trying to get to Umi? To hurt her or experiment on her? No! He shook himself and rolled over in his bed, taking deep breaths. He was being paranoid. And even on the off chance that Nerevar was trying to do that, Umi is fully capable of dispatching him should the need arise. 

 

Focusing on his breathing, he let his mind wander and his muscles relax against the warm fuzz of the weed in his system. He lazily replayed the events of the day in his mind, ruminating, thinking, speculating. He wondered if Nerevar missed his clan, or the Coast of Azura, and how long he spent making fishing nets and crab baskets before coming to Mournhold. Baskets. Hair. Weaving. Braids. 

 

Creation.

 

Any good artist worth their weight in salt knows you never pass up a moment of inspiration. It doesn’t matter how tired or weary you are, or what you may be doing. It doesn’t matter if the idea is hastily scribbled on a napkin or misspelled in a corner of your notes app. The moment your muse blesses you with an idea you hold on tight and follow that thread through to its completion. 

 

Voryn rolled out of bed, shuffled around for his sketchbook and pencil, almost frantic in his movements. Umi startled slightly at the rough movement, but he paid her no mind. It had been months, literal, months since he was struck with decent inspiration. He had to force himself to use his allotment of studio hours each week, and even then he could only focus on skill-based works. 

 

And now he had a (potentially) good (maybe even brilliant) idea for something worthy of a proper sculpture. The sketches were messy, as they always are in the first stages, figuring out the movement of the figure, whether there should be multiple, the scale, and what colors it would be.

 

The combination of weed and sleep deprivation made the pencil loose and wild in his hand. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to read back the sketches and notes in the morning, but he didn’t mind. He did his best work like this. Bleary eyed and shaking. When he was finally satisfied with the initial sketches, he willed himself to go to bed. 

 

As he was scrolling for a suffient YouTube video to fall asleep to, a notification from MarChat popped up on his screen. 

 

“n3r3v4r! Posted to their Story!”

 

Of course, he clicked on it, curious as to what Nerevar was talking about so late at night. What he saw made his heart leap into his throat. It was a mirror selfie, zoomed in on his stomach. Tight abs, full happy trail, pajama pants hanging low on his hips. On his navel hung a tasteful piece of jewelry, a sky blue pearlescent star. The caption read: “new piercing! Wdyall think?”. 

 

Voryn had never downloaded an image so fast in his entire life. He screenshotted it for good measure, and stared at it in his camera roll until his eyes hurt. Had he been sober, he would have chastised himself for being so shamelessly thirsty, but he was too far gone for that. That picture of Nerevar was doing wicked things to him in body and mind. 

 

It took no time at all for Voryn's hand to travel in between his legs, and even less for him to finish.  

Notes:

Not me googling “how vape weed pen works” because I’ve only ever done edibles and i don’t smoke