Chapter Text
Regulus rarely dreamt any more.
It was mostly nightmares as soon as he closed his eyes. He dreamt of dying, water filling his lungs and hands clawing at his body. He dreamt of his brother, whose name he still refused to look up, screaming as their mother tortured him. Sometimes, that brother was replaced with Draco, and Regulus would wake up sobbing.
And ever since detention in the Forbidden Forest, he had dreamt of the Dark Lord. Those snakelike red eyes staring at him, the feeling of being flayed open and left vulnerable… The dreams were so vivid that Regulus knew — he knew that the Dark Lord had somehow played a role in his death.
Regulus stared into the mirror. He had dark circles under his eyes. They were starting to get bad enough that his parents had noticed.
“Is it You-Know-Who again?” Draco asked as he joined Regulus in their bathroom.
“Always,” Regulus sighed, and splashed his face with cold water.
“I wish I could stop your dreams,” Draco sighed.
“They’re memories. Not much can be done there.”
Draco stepped up to the mirror as well to start fixing his hair. Regulus looked down at his brother and smirked. Draco glared. Regulus had also hit a small growth spurt and was now taller than Draco, much to his brother’s chagrin.
“Oh, do shut up. You’re only a couple of centimeters taller than me.”
“First of all, I didn’t even say anything. Second of all, it’s noticeable.”
“Fous le camp.”
“Rude! I’m telling maman!”
“She won’t believe you!” But Regulus was already running off with a laugh. Draco gave chase, and they ran down the manor hallways. Just as Draco was catching up, they both slid to a stop. Their blood ran cold and they shivered.
They were stopped just outside of their father’s study.
“Lucy?” Draco wondered.
“Ya, Coco?”
“You know how father’s study has always felt… bad?”
“Of course.”
“It feels… worse this summer.”
“I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed, Coco.” Together, they peered into the study.
Their father was pacing the room, muttering under his breath. The room felt icy cold, several degrees colder than the rest of the manor. The atmosphere of the room made Regulus’ skin crawl and his throat dry. He was suddenly very thirsty.
“Coco,” he pleaded. Draco grabbed his brother’s hand, and tugged him away. He didn’t speak again until they were outside in their maman’s garden.
“Coco,” Regulus said shakily, “I’m scared for father.”
“He’s been weird this summer. Do you think something’s happening at work?” Draco agreed.
“I don’t know, but I’m worried.”
“Me too.”
“Draco! Regulus!” their maman’s voice called from inside. They got up and walked into the main foyer. Their maman stood there with an older woman.
“Grand-mère!” the twins exclaimed together, and ran forward to hug the woman.
“Mes petits choux!” Druella cooed, hugging the boys. “Oh, Regulus! You’ve grown!”
“Yes, I’m taller than Draco now!” Regulus grinned.
“Just barely,” Draco huffed. “But I’m still growing, too.”
“Both of you are growing up so fast. Second years already, oh my!”
“Is grand-père here, too?” Draco asked, his eyes darting around. Regulus also tensed up. They loved Druella. She was kind and always spoiled them, but their grandfather Cygnus… he made them nervous.
“Just me today, my dears,” Druella said. “Cygnus hasn’t been feeling well lately.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” maman said, “Perhaps once the boys are back in school I can make the time for a visit.”
“Your father would certainly appreciate that.”
“Ah, Druella,” their father said as he joined them. Both Regulus and Draco looked up at him, observing. His eyes were tight and his smile forced. The twins shared a worried look.
“Hello, Lucius. How is work?” Druella asked as they kissed each other’s cheeks in greeting.
“I’ve been busy. It has been hard work helping our new Minister settle into office.”
“I’m sure he appreciates the help, though. And working directly with the Minister? Cissy, you did choose your husband well.”
“I’m proud of him,” their maman said, smiling up at their father. The twins fake gagged, earning eyerolls from both their parents.
“Oh boys, one day you will find women that you love and you’ll understand,” Druella huffed. Regulus' throat clenched. He did not want to think about marrying a woman.
“I’ll put on some tea,” said their maman. “Lucius, why don’t you and maman go out to the garden. Boys—”
“We were actually going to grab our brooms and practice,” Draco interrupted. They hadn’t planned on that today, actually, but they didn’t want to sit and talk, so…
“We can try out for quidditch this year,” Regulus added. “Potter made the team first year, but we’re both going to join this year for Slytherin.”
“We need to step up our game to defeat Gryffindor this year.”
“Yes, of course,” their father said. “Maybe you can practice over the gardens then, show us how you’ve improved?”
“Yes!” Draco grinned. “Lucy, you go grab our practice uniforms. I’ll quickly polish our brooms!” Regulus smirked and raced off upstairs. He grabbed his and Draco’s uniforms from their wardrobe then took off down the hall again. As he reached the top of the stairs, however, he saw Dobby at the top, crying.
Dobby was his and Draco’s first friend. The house-elf had been there since their earliest memories, watching over them and playing with them. They had told Dobby about their entire first year at Hogwarts when they arrived, from the people they met, to their classes, and even their detention, although it was the same abridged version their parents had been told.
Regulus and Draco had also told Dobby every rumor they had heard about Professor Quirrell, from the vampire theory to the rumor of the Dark Lord almost returning, to even the ones about Harry Potter.
“Dobby? Are you alright?” Regulus wondered, kneeling down next to the cowering house-elf.
“O-Oh, Master Regulus!” Dobby sniffed. “Dobby cannot say! Master Lucius has forbidden Dobby from speaking!”
“That’s okay, you don’t have to talk!” Regulus exclaimed. If his father had ordered Dobby not to talk, then he would not force the house-elf.
“Young master Regulus is always so kind,” Dobby said miserably. “Always looks after Dobby.”
“Of course. You’ve looked after Coco and I our whole lives,” Regulus said.
“Then please, listen to Dobby. Do not go to Hogwarts this year.”
“What?” What was the house-elf saying? “I have to go to Hogwarts! I have so much to learn!”
“But… what if something happens?” Dobby whispered. Did… Dobby know about what happened? His parents had been told an abbreviated version of what happened in the Forbidden Forest. They were under the impression he had been attacked by something, but not that it was the Dark Lord. Dobby could have overheard his parents talk about it, or maybe he had overheard him and Draco?
“What happened last year was a one off thing,” Regulus reassured the house-elf. “Hogwarts is safe, and Coco and I will be safe.”
Dobby whimpered and covered his eyes.
Wind bit at his cheeks, turning them red. His robes flapped behind him and his eyes watered slightly. Regulus had the quaffle gripped tightly under his arm, and he sped towards Draco. Draco flew perpendicular to him in the opposite direction. As he flew over his brother, he released the quaffle.
It was a shit pass, but Draco wanted practice catching those. Regulus smiled proudly as his brother pulled his broom up in time to stop and catch the quaffle, and then he was off again.
“You’re getting good at catching those,” Regulus said after Draco had shot the quaffle through their makeshift goal.
“You’ve been helping me practice,” Draco grinned. “Gryffindor doesn’t stand a chance this year.”
“No they do not!”
Draco began to throw the quaffle from various distances to see how accurate he was at getting the ball into the goal. While his brother did that, Regulus flew through the garden as fast as his broom would allow him. He flew under arches, dodging hedges, testing his reflexes. He was good. He knew he was good. He was one of the best seekers for years the last time he was at Hogwarts.
After a few runs, Regulus soared up. He stopped his broom and hovered a couple dozen meters above the manor. He could still see Draco flying below him, and he could see one of his parents out on the balcony. Likely his mother.
“Seeker already, huh?”
Regulus turned to see his brother flying next to him. His other brother, not Draco. A memory, then.
“Of course,” Regulus huffed in response.
“Damn, the main seeker of a House team, and only in your third year! Mother must be proud,” his brother said with a laugh.
“Mother doesn’t know,” Regulus said, “and she won’t know. She wouldn’t want me on the team.”
“I won’t tell if you don’t,” his brother grinned. “Can’t wait to play against you now that I’m finally on Gyffindor’s team, too. Still can’t believe you made seeker younger than I could.”
“I guess this means I’m just a better seeker than you.”
“Oh, you did not just say that, Reggie!”
“I guess we’ll have to see who’s better at our first game. Tell me, is Gryffindor prepared for complete and utter defeat?”
“You bastard!” his brother laughed and reached over to ruffle his hair. Regulus squawked.
“Lucy?” Draco’s voice cut through the memory, and his other brother disappeared.
“I’m fine,” Regulus said. “Just remembering…” Draco stared at him. He always seemed to know when Regulus was remembering his other brother. He couldn’t tell if his brother was concerned or jealous half the time he did.
“Why don’t you want to remember your brother?” Draco suddenly asked, and Regulus jumped from where he sat on his broom. So far, his other brother had been something they never discussed unless Regulus was recounting a memory.
“Why are you asking?” he whispered.
“Why are you running from him?” Draco challenged, his gaze hard. “Why don’t you want to remember him?”
“I just can’t,” Regulus hissed, and he began to fly back towards the ground. His brother followed him closely.
“You’re scared. Why are you scared?” Draco asked as they landed on the ground.
“I—” Regulus’ breath caught in his throat. “I just… It’s going to hurt. I want to stop hurting.”
“Remembering your other brother is going to hurt?”
“There’s only two ways it can go, Coco!” Regulus cried. “Either I remember him, and he’s dead! He’s dead and I never get to see him again! Or, he’s alive and I died and left him and I won’t get to reconcile with him because I’m supposed to be dead and—” He broke off in a ragged sob.
“Lucy—” Draco tried to say.
“I-I-I need a moment. Alone. I-Is that okay?”
“Of course. I’m sorry, Lucy. Can I find you later?” Draco asked, his voice quiet.
“Yes, please,” Regulus said. Draco gently took the broom from his grasp, and he smiled gratefully at his brother, and then he was rushing inside.
His other brother’s face was flashing through his mind. Little snippets of a smiling face, mischievous eyes, tattoos. Regulus let out a soft sob. He wanted to remember his other brother, he did. But he was terrified of what he would remember.
He rushed up the stairs, hoping he wouldn’t run into his parents. He turned down a hallway, and froze. Ice filled his veins, and he realized he had stopped in front of his father’s study once again. His vision swam.
Regulus sat in a dark room. The only light was the singular candle he had lit. He had to be quiet, or his parents would hear him.
He drew the book off the bookshelf. It was thick, bound in faded dark leather. He let it fall open in his hands, and he began to read.
… it is the foulest and most evil of magic…
To create… must deliberately murder… without regret or remorse…
… immortal, but at great cost…
Regulus blinked, and was back in the present. He realized with shame that he was crying. He couldn’t remember everything he had read in the book. He had only flashes of words, and a memory of feeling only horror and distress. What was that book? What information had he learned? And why did it scare him so much?
Regulus woke with a start after seeing red eyes again in his dreams. He was sweating and his face was wet. He looked over to see Draco still asleep, and was grateful he hadn’t started to scream like he sometimes did.
Still, his heart was racing and the darkness was pressing in on him, and he bolted from his bed over to Draco’s. His brother, even in his sleep, shifted to make room for Regulus, and he slipped under the covers. He curled into Draco’s side and was able to slow his breathing enough to doze off again.
He woke when his brother did, since he was unable to fall fully asleep again. Draco said nothing when he noticed his brother in bed with him. He just threw his arms around his brother and squeezed.
They made their way down to breakfast together. Their parents were already awake, and they seemed tense.
“Another raid,” their father hissed as the twins entered the dining room.
“They’re becoming more frequent,” their maman responded.
“The Ministry is paranoid. But still, it might be best to…”
“Of course it would be best to get rid of some of those items. You can sell them when we take the boys shopping.”
Regulus and Draco looked between their parents, confused.
“Sell what?” Draco asked, unable to contain his curiosity.
“Nothing you need to worry about, boys. Just some old artifacts that the Ministry wouldn’t like,” their father sighed.
“Dark Magic items?” Regulus wondered. It made sense. Most old pureblood families had items of Dark origin. It’s just the way things were.
“Yes, just some old family heirlooms. They aren’t important now,” their father said. “Of course, there are some things I will keep.”
“Like what?” Draco asked.
“You needn’t worry yourselves about it boys. You’ve many years before you have to worry about taking over the Malfoy estate.”
“Do any of the items have anything to do with You-Know-Who?” Regulus asked. He tried not to let his gaze waver, but he had to know.
“Why… would you ask that?” Father had become guarded.
“You were forced to serve You-Know-Who during the war, weren’t you? Maybe the Ministry won’t blame you for having things if You-Know-Who was the one who forced you to have them?” It made sense. Their father had been forced under the Imperius curse to join the Death Eaters. Regulus felt sad whenever he thought about it. Afterall, he had also been subjected to the same thing, not that his father could know.
“Right, yes.” Father’s voice was strained. “I was forced, yes. A shame, really, about the Dark Lord. His stance on things was correct. We need to eradicate mudbloods from our society and promote pure lineages to secure the integrity of our magic, but he went about it wrong.”
“Is there a right way of ‘eradicating muggle-borns?’” Regulus asked. His pulse was fast. He wasn’t the one to question things, not Before. That was his brother’s job. But his brother wasn’t here this time, so Regulus had to step up.
“Regulus, I’m not sure what you are asking—” father started to say.
“Do you want help clearing out some of the items?” Draco interrupted.
“No,” their maman answered firmly, also seeming eager to change the subject. “Your father will be fine clearing them out. You boys need to start thinking about what to pack and gather a list of the things you need for the year. It’s almost time to do our back-to-school shopping, after all.”
“Yes maman,” the twins answered together. After they finished breakfast, Regulus followed Draco upstairs to their room, and he could feel his father’s gaze on him as he left. Something had felt off about that entire conversation. His father’s views on blood purity, of course, made Regulus uncomfortable. He had long since accepted he had different views, due to his time Before.
But there was still something off about his father this summer. Regulus really hoped it was nothing.