Chapter Text
“Just because your stitches are out now doesn’t mean you can go back to handling things yourself,” Hiragi lectured. “Now that we know about your little bleeding issue, we gotta have a plan in place as a precaution.”
“Yep!” Umemiya agreed cheerfully from where he and Hiragi were seated across from their lone underclassman. “Your class has already been debriefed on what to do if you get hurt in a fight, so no worries! All you gotta do is let them help you!”
“And,” Hiragi added in a stern tone, “no arguing if they decide you need a trip to the hospital. Got it? We don’t need you bleeding out or stitching shit up on your own.”
Umemiya waved his hand in the air in a carefree demeanor. “Remember, your friends just wanna help you! So try not to make it harder for them, okay?”
“And for fuck’s sake, tell them if you feel like you’re about to pass out,” Hiragi grumbled, scowling in both anger and stress-induced pain as his stomach flared up just at the memory of Suo collapsing so suddenly.
“And try to open up a little” Ume suggested with that friendly smile never leaving his face. “We all really care for you, Suo-kun. So trust us a little more, yeah? We’ve got your back.”
Hiragi crossed his arms. “In other words, quit being so damn stubborn and fucking talk to someone about whatever’s goin’ on. And don’t even try to pretend nothin’s happening,” he added irritably. “We can all tell something’s up. But we can’t fucking help ya if we don’t know the details.”
Umemiya sighed, his cheerful smile becoming more gentle as he fixated a soft gaze on the first-year in question. “What Hiragi means to say is that we can see something is still bothering you, Suo-kun. Your classmates are worried. Even Sugishita-kun says you seem really on edge ever since the incident. We don’t know what’s going on exactly, but Nirei-kun and Sakura-kun have also come to us with some concerning thoughts. They’re really worried, you know. We all are.” Umemiya’s eyes softened further as he met the younger’s lone red eye. “We just don’t want to see you hurt.”
Suo did his best to remain outwardly unfazed by the odd good-cop-bad-cop routine he was receiving. But he’d caught himself several times throughout their lecture subconsciously fidgeting with the tassels on his earrings. It was a nervous tic he’d never quite been able to suppress. His other hand rested on his lap, blocked from view by the table, so his upperclassmen couldn’t see his fingers digging into his thigh in an effort to ground himself in the present. He’s been doing that a lot lately - getting so lost in his anxious thoughts that he’d completely space out and miss out on whatever was going on around him. They were right that he was on edge.
And how couldn’t he be?
It had been a little over a week, almost two weeks, since he’d been injured, and he had yet to hear a word from his Master. Not a phone call, nor a text, nor letter in the mail. Nothing.
The nervous anticipation was eating away at Suo - scrambling his mind - coiling his guts - carving out his insides.
It dawned on Suo that this might be a new form of punishment. He wasn’t sure which was worse. Facing his Master’s immediate wrath and getting it over with right away, or agonizing over the possibilities of what’s to come. He was leaning toward the latter. Because he could hide a few bruises under his clothes easily. But it was becoming a rather difficult chore to hide the apprehension he felt at every given moment nowadays. And he so very much hated the thought of his unbothered façade crumbling before him for everyone around to see what lied beneath. He still did his best, of course, to put on that carefree smile. To remain cheerfully stoic. To focus on teasing his classmates rather than his own issues.
But he couldn’t help but feel they were starting to see through him.
And not just Sakura, who had somehow recognized bits of Suo’s true self from the very beginning. Now, it seemed his whole class was constantly observing him more closely. Asking him how he was doing. If they could do anything to help. Trying to get him to share his true feelings with them. Pressing him for info about his situation. And apparently they’d started going to the higher-ups once they’d realized Suo wasn’t one to give in so easily.
So now here Suo was, faced with not only class one’s Tamon King but also Bofurin’s top representative himself. They were both waiting, one patiently and one not so patiently, for a response. And Suo honestly did not know what to say. He certainly wasn’t going to tell them the truth. He’d rather not be pitied, or worse, forced into a situation where they’d try to legally separate him from his Master - who was essentially the only family he had left after his brothers reached adulthood and left home. Although he had doubts the man could even be called family, given how little he was actually physically present in the teen’s life. But it was all the same to Suo. He may have a healthy fear of the man, but that just came with his Master being an adult, didn’t it? Parental figures were supposed to be authoritative. After all, how else would Suo learn the proper steps to adulthood if he weren’t firmly disciplined when he strayed from the proper path?
But he had the feeling these two wouldn’t understand that.
Umemiya, who acted childishly even though he was otherwise the ideal adult in Suo’s eyes. And Hiragi, who was strict as an adult should be, but had trouble accepting others’ perspectives. So no, Suo couldn’t bring himself to tell them the truth. He knew they would just try to change things….and Suo was already on edge with how everything in his life had been spiraling as of late. He just wanted things to be as they were - where he could rest comfortably at home. Alone. Deal with his troubles on his own. And no one would be none the wiser.
But apparently that was no longer an option.
“Thank you for your concern,” Suo finally replied, his voice light and professional. Rehearsed. “Albeit it is unwarranted. I have simply been on edge lately because I was banned from patrol while I was healing, and I have been worried something might happen to the others in my absence,” he lied. His smile of a mask carved itself onto his face easily, as though it rightfully belonged there. But no doubt it seemed as fake now as the practiced tone he used.
Hiragi sighed, long and slow. Like he was reaching his wit’s end.
Umemiya simply shook his head lightly, like he’d been expecting this, while keeping that happy smile on his face as his eyes watched Suo sadly. His voice was quiet and gentle when he spoke again. “For now, we’ll take your word for it,” he assured. “But only if you promise us you’ll be honest when it really matters. If you feel unsafe, for any reason….come to me. Your big brother has your back, Suo-kun. As does everyone else in Bofurin. We just want to help however we can, and it’s alright for you to rely on us. We want you to feel safe coming to us with whatever’s troubling you. And we’ll tell you that as many times as you need to hear.” His gentle smile grew into a pleasant grin as we awaited the response. “So? What do you say?”
Suo stared back, longing for the sense of safety that emitted from the older student. His smile faltered, and he glanced away, blinded by the other’s dazzling optimism. “...Alright,” he agreed, giving in. If it would get the third years off his back for now, he would agree to come to them when necessary. Even if Suo himself was a terrible judge of when seeking help was actually needed. But….part of him genuinely wanted to give in. Wanted to allow himself to be shielded in the safety of Umemiya’s shadow. In the safety of Bofurin. But the other part of him rejected those feelings, clinging too strongly to the lessons his Master had instilled in him of never allowing his weakness to be seen. “If it’s okay with you, then….I should be getting to class,” he said, wanting to break away from this conversation before they could persuade him further. Suo gracefully got to his feet and offered a small bow to the two third years before turning on his heel and heading toward the rooftop door.
“Okay!” Ume called after him. “Nice talking to you, Suo-kun! Remember your promise~!”
Suo didn’t look back as the other called out to him. He didn’t look back as he opened the door to the stairwell and stepped inside, letting it close heavily behind him and drown out anything else the other’s might have said to him. Now in the silence and warmth of the dark stairwell, he allowed a small sigh to escape his lips. His fingers trembled uncharacteristically at his sides, and it wasn’t from being out in the cold winter air. Clenching his hands a few times, he curled them together behind his back and squeezed in an effort to still them and regain some control over his nerves. He took a moment to breathe deeply, calming himself before carrying on down the stairs.
His footsteps echoed in the empty stairwell, bouncing off the walls. Emphasizing the loneliness he felt in that moment.
He shouldn’t feel this way.
He knew he shouldn’t.
Everyone around him was constantly reminding him that he wasn’t alone, that he could confide in them whenever he needed. It felt like a betrayal on his part to continue feeling this way when his friends and classmates were obviously trying so hard to get him to realize that he didn’t have to shoulder his burdens himself.
But Suo felt so conflicted.
Like two halves of his life were clashing and waging turmoil within his soul.
Everything his Master had instilled in him - all of the thoughts and behaviors, everything Suo had ever known, everything that made him who he was - was being picked apart by the very people who had previously accepted him as he was. And whatever they’d caught a glimpse of whenever they looked too closely obviously was not pleasing them. They didn’t like it. And Suo couldn’t blame them. He didn’t like it either. But….everything that he’d lived through…it was what made him who he was.
Without his Master, who would he even be?
…After all, he was nothing but a scared little boy, too afraid to face his friends with anything but a smile.