Chapter Text
* Christine
The Opera Garnier was on fire.
I ran after Raoul, holding his hand tightly as he led us through the flames. I used my free hand to protect my nose and mouth from the dust. My eyes were starting to sting from the fire.
I couldn't believe that in all this time, from when I was kidnapped by Erik until now, the fire brigade hadn't shown up to put out the fire.
I silently prayed that Madame Giry and Meg would be safe outside.
Then I thought about who we left behind. Who I left behind in the underground. I could only hope he would get out in time.
Suddenly, freezing, I remembered something very important. Namely, the only valuable thing I had - a photo of my father - was still lying on the dressing table in my dressing room.
It was an impulse. I knew I was being stupid. I should run as fast as I can towards the exit.But the knowledge that I would never see my beloved father's face again terrified me.
I ripped my hand from Raoul's steely grip and, without waiting for his reaction, I ran towards the dressing rooms.Behind me I heard Raoul's voice shouting my name.
I didn't pay attention to him.At the sound of a loud bang, I turned my head slightly to see one of the columns break, separating Raoul from me and my way to the exit.
**********
I ran as fast as I could, still covering my nose and mouth from the smoke. When I reached the door to my dressing room, I breathed a small sigh of relief. No signs of fire. I pressed the doorknob and quickly went inside. I quickly rushed towards the dressing table.
On the table, between bobby pins, a brush and makeup supplies, there was a framed photo of my father. Feeling the pressure, I reached for the frame with shaking hands and took the photo out with one movement. I quickly folded up a photo of my father, worn over the years, and stuck it into the neckline of my dress.
Involuntarily, I allowed myself to quickly look through the wardrobe where I had spent so much time. Various memories flashed through my mind, including how Meg and I could spend hours gossiping here, lessons with my "Angel of Music" and meeting my fiancé, Raoul, after many years.
Shaking my head, I wiped the tears that ran down my cheeks with my fingertip and ran out of the room.
I ran as fast as I could. The wedding dress Erik made me wear didn't help. Several layers of petticoats and the heavy material of the dress did not make running easier for me. I had to hold my dress with one hand so I wouldn't trip over it. I was still trying to cover my face with my other hand.
I coughed, feeling more carbon dioxide build up in my throat. My eyes burned more and more with each passing moment.
I looked around. The ominously dancing flames were beginning to consume this part of the opera as well.
I hesitated for a moment.I considered turning around and leaving the opera house by a different route, but I quickly came to the conclusion that it wouldn't help. It'll only make my chances of getting out of here smaller.
I ran ahead. I ran by heart, because all I saw were flames and smoke.
At one point I tripped over what I thought was a rolled up carpet. I bumped into a fallen, broken wooden beam.
I felt a burning pain on my arm. I suppressed a cry of pain. When I looked, I saw a large, deep wound through the torn material of the sleeve. I pursed my lips into a thin line and stood up. I squeezed the painful spot with my left hand, while my right hand hung limply.
I felt my lungs slowly running out of air.
I made another attempt to get out. Every now and then I would have a coughing fit and my eyes would sting more and more. Regardless, I started running again. Running through the wisps of smoke, I was relieved to realize that I was close to the exit of the opera house. I could almost smell the frosty air outside.
After a while, I had to stop because the flames around me intensified. It felt like the fire was playing with me, mocking my attempts to get out.
I had to cough again. This time it was worse than the previous ones. It felt like my vocal cords were tearing from the inside and my lungs were on fire. My eyes were filled with tears from coughing.
While wondering how to get around the circle of flames without falling into them, I heard something above me.
Looking up, I saw a several-meter-high burning beam that could fall down at any moment. It was getting lower and lower every second.
The flames were beginning to cradle my body dangerously close.
Without having time to move or jump away, I saw the beam falling in slow motion. It fell with a muffled thud. The next thing I knew I was lying on the ground, crushed by a heavy, hot beam. I felt a throbbing pain in my left leg.
Desperate, I tried with all my strength to pull it off. With no effect. It was too heavy. I was breathing heavily and unevenly under the influence of the beam. I realized with horror that this was the end of me. Even if I managed to get out from under the beam, I wouldn't make it out of the opera on time.
I was still, at best, a dozen or so meters away from the exit, which was also already covered in flames. There was also no indication that the fire brigade would be able to get inside the opera house in the next few minutes.
The flames continued. I felt them glide along my dress and body, hissing like snakes. With each passing moment, I felt my whole body burning more and more.
I cursed myself for my foolish decision. But I knew deep down that if I had to choose again, I would choose again to try to save my father's photo. For me, the photo was the most valuable thing I had.
Second by second, I felt my body getting weaker and my eyelids getting heavy.
I tried to fight it for a while, but I quickly gave up. It was useless.
I slowly closed my eyes, praying for a quick death
******
Notes:
Hi,
I am happy that you decided to read my story. It means a lot to me. I hope you will like this.
English is not my first language so if there are any mistakes in the sentenses or in the grammar, please let me know, so I could change it.
Chapter Text
*Erik
Unnoticed, I slipped out of a long-forgotten passage on Rue Scribe. I was greeted by the cool night, touching my body with cold air. The smell of smoke wafted around me.
I wrapped myself tightly in a scarf that I found to cover the deformed part of my face as best as possible.
I sighed quietly.
I could still feel Christine's bittersweet kiss on my lips. The kiss that changed everything. I felt as if I was seeing everything anew. I no longer felt like a powerful Phantom, terrorizing everything just to get his way.
Oh, no.
The ghost disappeared, leaving behind what I always was. Only Erik. Erik, wishing with all his might for someone to love him.
I couldn't look her in the eyes, not after what I had done to her. I didn't deserve this angel in human flesh. I saw the truth for the first time. I would never give her even a substitute of what Raoul would give her. Christine deserved to have a beautiful, lavish wedding that would be covered in the Parisian newspapers. She deserved a comfortable home, "normal" looking children, and, most importantly, a husband who she would wake up next to without flinching at the sight of his face.
The only thing I could give her was my music. I used to think this was enough, but now I realized what a fool I had been.
I let my thoughts come back to reality.
Hiding in the shadows, I moved quietly and silently. I wanted to look at the opera one last time before I leave this place forever.
I looked up.
Something grabbed my heart as I helplessly watched the Opera Garnier, my temple, my home, the place where I could feel truly safe for the first time... burn.
I could only blame myself for that.
I had let my love for Christine become a sick obsession, and now I had to pay the price.
I was getting ready to leave when my eyes landed on a certain scene.
Right in front of the opera house, guards stood preventing the curious crowd of onlookers from getting closer. The young man standing closest to the guards tried to get into the opera house. Intrigued, still hiding in the shadows, I came closer, correcting the scarf once again. I froze. The man was that, oh God, the foppish Count Raoul de Chagny.
"She's there! Let me through!" he shouted desperately, trying to get between the two guards
"Mr. de Chagny, with all due respect, please step aside. I can't let anyone pass. Appropriate services will arrive any moment. I'm sure they'll get your fiancée out in time," said the first man
"Count, control yourself or I will have to use force" added the second one, taking an object resembling a police baton from his belt and swinging it right in front of his nose.
I felt myself getting weak. Christine was left in the burning building.
Right behind the count, stood two women. Madame Giry embraced her daughter, Meg Giry. Meg Giry sobbed softly. Her mother whispered words inaudible to me, probably words of comfort. She stroked her daughter's loose hair soothingly. Although the woman seemed composed, I saw her anxious gaze fixed on the opera house.
I quickly backed away and, making sure I wasn't noticed, headed for the hidden, long-forgotten passage I had just escaped from.
***
Smoke. Raging smoke spread all around me. I quickly removed the scarf from my face, creating a makeshift shield from the smoke.
With each heartbeat, I became more and more terrified.
The feeling that I wouldn't find her in time was eating me up inside.
I decided to first check the interior of the opera house, which is closer to the exit.
Every now and then I shouted her name as loud as I could, listening for anything that would put me on the right path.
Christine could really be anywhere.
I mentally cursed that damned fop for letting Christine stay in the burning opera house.
I walked through the main hall, begging God, a God I never believed in, to spare Christine's life. I would gladly burn here alone, endure all the tortures in the world, in exchange for Christine's safety and life.
I stopped when I heard the muffled sound of coughing.
Christine.
I would recognize her voice anywhere.
At that same moment, I heard more than saw the wooden beam on the ceiling begins to crack.
I shouted loudly through the flames for her to run. I was too far away. She didn't hear me.
Bang.
One heartbeat later, the beam lay on top of Christine, crushing her.
I wanted to rush forward, but several boards on the floor burned, blocking my way.
I managed to jump away at the last moment.
As I focused on another passageway, out of the corner of my eye I saw a beam gently rise and fall.
In a rush of adrenaline, I managed to jump over the gap that separated us.
Being a few steps away from her, I felt a cold sweat break out on me despite the fire raging around me.
In a second I grabbed the beam and lifted it with all my strength. I cursed as the heat burned my hands. With gritted teeth, I tossed the beam aside. Then, in the blink of an eye, I knelt down next to Christine. My heart sank at the sight.
She was unconscious.
Her face was covered with dust particles. Her face was twisted in silent agony. Eyebrows slightly drawn together and lips slightly parted. I heard her ragged, wheezing breathing. Her skin was burned from her left cheek along her neck.
On her right shoulder I saw a medium-sized open wound.
Gently, being careful not to hurt her, I picked her up. Then, holding her in my arms, I quickly but carefully moved forward.
*****
Notes:
What do you think of this chapter?
Chapter 3: Chapter 3.
Chapter Text
*Christine
I felt a stabbing pain spreading along my body. My whole body was burning and tingling.
"What happened?" I tried hard to remember.
My mind was completely blank.
I tried unsuccessfully to move. I tried to open my eyelids, but they seemed too heavy.
I felt weak and sore.
Somewhere in the distance I heard a soothing male voice. He whispered something gently towards me. However, I was unable to catch his words. The voice sounded familiar. But I couldn't remember where I'd heard it before.
I felt like I was in someone's arms. We were moving.
I immediately felt panic rising. I was completely defenseless. I was completely at the mercy of the person who held me.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I had a strange sense of security. I felt that I didn't have to fear for my life. That I am well cared for.
I could only hope it was true.
With that thought, I lost consciousness again.
*********
Chapter Text
* Erik
I easily found an old passage inside the opera house that had not been used for years. It was located in the wall, right next to the grand staircase. The wall was decorated with a statue of the head of one of the great musicians of the previous century.
It's probably a miracle that this section of the opera hasn't been completely consumed by fire yet.
Adjusting Christine in my arms, I positioned her so that I could easily open the tunnel with one hand. After two attempts, I came across an almost invisible protrusion on the wall opening a passage.
I went inside and closed the passage behind me. I tightened my grip on Christine. The corridors were dark. At such moments I was glad that I had lived underground for many years. While a normal person wouldn't be able to see anything in front of them, I could see all the details.
I headed towards the stairs in front of me.
Still holding the unconscious woman in my arms, I started walking down the stairs.
****
When we finally descended the stairs, I heard the calm sound of running water nearby. I quickened my pace when I saw the boat left on the shore, which I usually used to get home. This is the boat where Christine and Raoul left when I told them to leave.
I looked at the woman resting in my arms.
She was still unconscious, but I could still hear her gasping for air. This sound grabbed my heart every time. I was sure that sound would haunt my nightmares. Her face was still left contorted in pain.
" Hold on for a moment. Everything will be fine" I whispered to her
Once at the boat, I carefully placed Christine on it. I adjusted the pillows that were lying on the boat and placed them comfortably under her head.
I moved a bit away from the boat, looking around for an oar. I cursed under my breath when my eyes caught sight of an oar broken in half, abandoned some distance away. This fool must have hit a rock just off the shore and broken the oar.
I returned to the boat. There was no other option, I had to wade through the lake and push the boat to the other side to my house.
I pushed the boat gently until the entire bottom was in the water.As the boat moved forward, I went deeper into the water. The underwater lake wasn't very deep, at its deepest point the water reached up to my neck.
The icy water made my body shiver involuntarily every now and then. Still, I kept pushing forward.
Every now and then my eyes wandered to Christine.
No signs of improvement or worsening.
At one point, my sole hit a small stone. It was so unexpected that I lost my balance, pushing the boat forward. For a split second I submerged myself in the water. I immediately popped my head out of the water, quickly coughing the water out of my mouth. Although my eyes were stinging from contact with water, I didn't wipe them.
Without waiting a moment longer, I desperately rushed towards the boat, which was gently drifting sideways. I couldn't let the boat get too far away. I grabbed one of the edges tightly, gradually stopping her.
After making sure Christine was okay, I resumed my hike.
I was relieved to see the large metal bars that served as the entrance door to my underground kingdom. Having pushed the boat to the shore, I got out of the water. Ignoring the water dripping from me, I walked over to Christine and carefully picked her up. Holding her in my arms, I began to climb the dungeon stairs.
I carried Christine into the room I had created with her in mind, for her, when I had still naively hoped that this pure being could love a monster like me.
I carefully placed Christine on the bed, gently brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen onto her face.
Wasting no time, I practically ran out of the room.
The unpleasant squelching sound from my leather shoes made me take off my soaked shoes on the way to the kitchen, leaving me in short ankle-length stockings.
While in the kitchen, I chaotically started searching for the products I needed. After a while, having everything, I returned to Christine.
I put a bowl of water and a bottle of chamomile on the table next to the bed. I looked at Christine and froze.
Earlier, fearing for her life, something as obvious as what I had to do next had never crossed my mind. Namely, I had to wash her and bandage her burnt skin, and to do this I had to take off her dress.
"No. I can not do that. "She will never forgive me for this," I frantically tried to think of an alternative. But I knew in the back of my mind that every moment counted, "I have to do this for her sake."
With a heavy heart, I walked over to the bed, carefully turned her on her side, and began to unlace the bodice of her dress.
I felt like the worst criminal. What I was doing was unacceptable. I shouldn't have done it, I had no right to do it, and yet I had to take off another layer of clothes over and over again. Only the knowledge that I was doing it to save her helped me survive.
I was afraid of what her reaction would be when she found out that I had to change her clothes. I'm sure she'll be furious and terrified.
When she was left in just the corset, petticoat and stockings, I felt even more awkward.
Reluctantly, I started taking off the corset. When I took it off, something fell out. Upon picking up the object, it turned out to be a photo of Christine's father, Gustave Daae.
I put the photo on the table, promising myself that I would move it to another place later.
Christine's porcelain skin was covered in dirt and grime. She was also partially burned. Her face, neck and chest were covered with various sizes of redness and blisters. There were splinters sticking out of Christine's right arm. First, having found the tweezers, I gently began to pull the splinters out of the arm.
Then I soaked a cloth in a bowl, wrung it out thoroughly and gently began to wash Christine's skin with cool water. As much as possible, I avoided looking at her body and looked at her face.
After washing Christine with water, I reached for a bottle of chamomile which I had prepared myself some time ago. I gently rubbed it on the burnt areas. I then began to gently smear chamomile on Christine's face, neck, chest, hands and calf.
I waited until it absorbed a bit and bandaged the larger burns, which were on her right calf and chest.
When I was finished, I took a clean nightgown from the closet intended for Christine and carefully put it on her.
Pulling back the covers, I placed Christine on the mattress, then covered her with the covers and sat on the corner of the bed.
I listened to her breathing for some time. It was still uneven, but not as hoarse as when I found her.
Suddenly I felt a surge of tiredness. I rubbed my face with my hands. I felt a burning sensation on my hands. Looking at them, I saw that both the outside and the inside of my hand were red from touching the large beam that had crushed Christine. I should have washed my hands and put chamomile on them, but I didn't have the strength or desire to do so.
I didn't care. My hands could have been burned. I could even have burn scars. All I could think about now was Christine. I had to be with her and watch over her. The only thing that mattered was that Christine lived.
*****
Notes:
What do you think of the chapter?
How do you think Christine will react when she wakes up?
Chapter Text
*Christine
I was lying on a soft mattress. This was my first thought after waking up.
Where am I? Certainly not at home*. At Madame Giry's, Meg and I have always slept on hard mattresses because, as Antonina Giry used to say, it has a positive effect on the body and improves posture, and for corps de ballet dancers** such mattresses were perfect.
So where was I?
At Raoul's?
No it is not possible. What would I do there? I wanted to laugh at myself for this absurd idea. Yes, I've been to Raoul's estate a few times, but I would never, ever stay there overnight.
Oh, I can already see in my mind's eye those rumors, those newspaper articles like "an opera singer set a trap for a young count, wanting to become a countess"
I felt the air around me was humid. There were no sounds coming from anywhere. It was quiet here. I would even go so far as to say it was too quiet.
I was sore.
Although no, this word does not accurately describe the pain I felt.
It felt like someone was sticking a thousands of needles into my body and pushing them deeper into me over and over again, causing a new layer of pain.
After trying hard, I managed to force myself to lift my eyelids.
Darkness greeted me.
The only tiny source of light in the room I was in was a candle standing on the table.
I looked around the room carefully, trying to recognize it, but to no avail.
Hearing the creak of a chair, I turned my head to the right.
At first I froze.
Right next to me, a man was sitting on a chair. Well, I don't know if the word "sat" was appropriate, because he was sleeping in a chair. His head was resting on the backrest, his arms were folded on his chest, and his legs were stretched stiffly in front of him. He looked like he was very uncomfortable in this position. I noticed that his whole body was tense.
When the first fear and shock of the figure in the chair passed, I realized that this man was my former angel of music, Erik.
I suddenly had a coughing attack. I felt like something was stuck in my throat. Wanting to get up, I firmly placed my right hand on the mattress and almost howled with the pain that violently shot through me.
The moment I started coughing, Erik jumped up from the chair so quickly that the porcelain mask he was wearing hit the floor with a silent groan. Without caring about it, Erik was right next to me and, wrapping one arm around my waist and holding my hand with the other, he helped me get up to a sitting position.
"Christine" Erik said with relief in his voice, looking at me
"E..Erik" I said and then grimaced
I grabbed my throat with my left hand. I sounded terrible. I couldn't believe that what I heard, that disgusting, hoarse voice, could have belonged to me.
"Wa...water" I croaked
One moment I saw Erik reach for a jug of water and pour water into my glass, and the next moment he was next to me, extending his hand with a glass towards me.
"Can you hold a glass in your hand? "he asked, looking at me worriedly
"I'll try" I replied
With a slightly trembling hand, I reached for the glass. Despite my best intentions, my hand wouldn't stop shaking. When I finally put the glass to my lips, I slowly started drinking the water. The water gave me temporary relief from my thirst, but after a while I was unable to drink any more sips. I felt as if my entire esophagus was irritated. I gave up and handed the glass to Erik, who put it on the nightstand next to the bed I was on.
" How are you feeling? " he asked
"Everything... hurts " I replied tiredly. I wanted to add more, but I didn't have the strength.
"You need to change your dressing. Try not to move too much. I'll be back soon" after these words he left me alone in the room.
Taking advantage of this moment, I forced myself to intensely remember what happened.
Oh, my head was pounding.
The last thing I remembered was that I had escaped from the underground with Raoul. We escaped from the opera together. But why were we running away? From what?
Erik let us go, let us both go...
Has he changed his mind? When we were running away, did he catch up with us and kidnap me again?
No...
I started coughing again. I felt like I was going to spit my lungs out. Once I calmed down and wiped away the tears from my cough with my fingertip, I had an epiphany.
I took a sharp intake of breath.
There was a fire in the opera! That's why I ran away with Raoul! And when we were halfway to the exit, I turned back to my dressing room to get a picture of my father! So I was stuck in a blazing fire!
But... that still doesn't explain how I got here.
How did Erik find me? And what happened to the photo of my father? Had my attempt to save it been in vain?
My thoughts were interrupted when Erik entered the room again.
I was surprised to see the mask covering the right side of his face. "He must have a lot of them," I thought
He held a bowl of water in his hands. He placed her on the floor, right next to the bed.
"Will you let me fix you?" he asked, stopping next to the bed. He seemed uncomfortable with the situation.
"Of course," I replied, my voice slightly strained.
"'ll look at your leg first... You sprained your right ankle and your entire calf was badly burned when I found you" he said as he gently began to unwrap the bandages and wash the calf with cool water " Of course, I immobilized the ankle and took care of it properly "he added
He got up from the bed for a moment, walking to the table with various glass bottles. He took one of them, and the bed sagged under his weight again as he sat on it
"This is chamomile extract. It accelerates the healing of wounds and helps in the treatment of burns "he explained, then unscrewed the bottle and gently began to apply the said chamomile on the calf.
Even though he tried to be gentle, every now and then I winced from the pain I felt.
I breathed a sigh of relief when he started wrapping the bandage around my calf again.
" What... How did you find me there? "I asked, sincerely curious, unable to bear this awkward silence between us any longer.
Erik, who was just removing the bandage from my right arm, froze for a moment with the bandage in the air.
When I saw his stony face, I thought he wasn't going to answer me when he started talking.
"It was right after I managed to get out of the opera through an exit forgotten by the world. I was about to leave when a certain scene caught my eye. In front of the entrance to the opera there was a man shouting something towards the soldiers who were blocking the passage. As I got closer, I realized that the man was your boy, the Viscount - he said the last words with visible venom in his voice "I quickly realized that you had to stay inside. Without hesitation, I returned to the opera. It took me a while to find you... I saw... this sight will haunt me for the rest of my days... "he sighed deeply. His gaze, which had been fixed on me, suddenly seemed distant to me, Erik remained suspended for a moment until he suddenly blinked rapidly a few times, looking at me again "I have never been so afraid in my life... I saw thea beam fall on you. When I got to you and freed you from under that beam, you were unconscious. I was afraid you were dead... When I heard you gasping for air... "he paused again "I knew every second counted. When we got here, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to help you. Those few days during which you were unconscious were a real torment for me. I was watching over you all the time, I even prayed to your God, begging him for you to survive... You don't even know how relieved I felt when you woke up today"he finished saying.
As Erik returned to my arm, I was lost in thoughts.
I felt like the worst, meanest person in the world.
The last time we met, he confessed his love to me, and I, like a coward, I gave him back his ring and ran away without a word! I broke his heart. I hurt him beyond belief. He should hate me after what I did. He shouldn't care about my fate at all. What's more, he should even be happy that I was stuck at the opera for all the pain I caused him. Many people in his place would have done so. And yet, despite all the pain I caused him, he came back to the opera for me without a second thought. He had the opportunity to escape, to save himself, and he risked his freedom and, above all, his life, trying to save me.
"Why... why did you do it?... I... I hurt you so much... and you... Why? " I asked, feeling a lump growing in my throat.
I felt like crying from all the emotions.
I avoided looking at his face, instead staring at him at the rolled-up sleeve of his white shirt as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.
" I love you. I couldn't live knowing I left you there. That I didn't try to save you."
I looked up at him. I saw the truth in those sad blue eyes. I saw sincere fear for my life, as well as relief that I was alive and sincere love.
"Thank you... for saving me" I grabbed his hand with my left hand, squeezing it lightly. While saying this, I kept staring into his eyes.
I saw a trace of emotion cross Erik's face. He was confused. Maybe for the first time in his life he didn't know what to answer me.
."Please don't thank me," he finally choked out.
I smiled at him.
After that, Erik went back to changing the dressing and I found myself lost in thought again.
This time the silence between us wasn't as awkward as it had been moments ago.
****
Notes:
* Christine lives with Madame and Meg Giry
** corpse de ballet- a group of dancers
Chapter Text
*Christine
Fire was spreading around me. I ran forward to save myself. I suddenly turned to the right and froze. I've hit a dead end. I wanted to scream with all my might in despair. I had the impression that the opera house seemed to be built differently, because I was sure that I had been to this part of the opera many times before, and I could easily go further. However, I couldn't think about the layout of the opera house walls right now.
I was trapped.
My back touched the wall as I started coughing. The flames slowly started moving towards me. Tears appeared in my eyes. Is this how I will end? Will I burn alive? Suddenly the fire increased and began to spread around the room at a surprisingly fast pace.
" No! "I screamed in fear to the flames surrounding me
Suddenly I felt heat at my feet. Terrified, I saw that the inevitable had happened. The flames touched my dress. I felt the heat of the flames gradually rising towards the top of the dress. The fabric of the dress had already caught fire and was now burning my skin. I heard a muffled sound. After a while, I realized that it was me who was screaming out of desperation and fear. Tears, as big as peas, were flowing down my cheeks. I couldn't catch my breath. At one point I started to wonder why I was going to die. From the flames or will I suffocate with my own tears.
"Christine" I felt like the flames were hissing.
"Christine," the fire crackled next to my ear.
"Christine" between the hissing flames I thought I heard a voice. He sounded worried.
" Christine, it's just a nightmare, you're safe.... Wake up" I felt a cold touch on my shoulder.
I immediately opened my eyes and jumped out of bed into a sitting position.
My heart was beating like crazy. It felt so true. I could still feel the invisible flames running through my body. A sharp pain shot through my body.
I pulled my knees up to my chin and wrapped my arms around them. I hid my face in my knees. I felt my body tremble. After a while, I realized that something wet was falling on my dressing gown. I was surprised to discover that I was crying.
"It's just a nightmare. It didn't really happen," I repeated in my mind, trying to calm down. To no avail. This was no ordinary nightmare. It was more like a modified memory. I still remembered perfectly every moment, every second, when I tried to get out of the burning opera house.
As I tried to calm down, I felt the bed mattress sag under someone's weight.
Erik.
Due to the excess of emotions swirling inside me, I completely forgot about his presence.
I couldn't see him, but I could easily imagine him wondering how to help me.
Suddenly I heard his voice. His beautiful, velvety voice. For a moment it seemed as if my imagination was playing tricks on me, but with each subsequent word I became more certain that what I was hearing was true. Erik sang a lullaby. And not just any kind. He sang a lullaby that my father sang to me when I was a child.
My father sang it to me whenever I was afraid of something. I remember singing this lullaby during my first lessons with the Angel of Music to warm up my voice.
I felt my breathing gradually return to normal under the influence of his soothing voice and the strange sense of security that the lullaby brought. I stopped crying some time ago, enchanted by the lullaby.
When I felt like I had calmed down, I lifted my head from my knees. The first thing I saw was Erik's worried eyes staring at me. The last lines of the lullaby were now coming from his lips. Erik sat just within arm's reach.
"Christine... " Erik wanted to say something but I interrupted him
"Can... can I hug you?" I asked awkwardly. The image from my nightmares was still in my mind. Flames that run through my body and I can't do anything. I wanted to hug so I could feel safe for a moment.
I saw obvious hesitation on Erik's face. When I thought he wouldn't agree, he nodded slightly, almost invisibly.
Without waiting any longer, I started to change my pose to hug him. Although I felt pain with every movement of my body, I didn't care about it now. When Erik spread his arms slightly, I immediately clung to him. I placed my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist.
I felt Erik's hands shaking as he slowly hugged me. He hugged me gently, as if he was afraid he would hurt me. He sat stiffly for a while, but after some time I felt his body gradually relax. Once he relaxed, he gently started stroking my hair with one hand.
I closed my eyes, enjoying being in his arms. It was incomprehensible to me. I shouldn't feel this way. I saw what he was capable of. He killed two people, who knows how many have died during the fall of the chandelier. He tried to kill my fiancé and force me to marry him! I should want to be as far away from him as possible. However, I felt an incomprehensible peace and something like happiness when he hugged me like that.
At some point I opened my eyes. Without stopping to hug Erik, I shifted in his arms. My head was now level with his shoulder. I wanted to rest my head against it when I froze.
Behind Erik, a candle was burning on the table. t's flames swayed peacefully, yet I felt fear creeping into my heart. I felt my breathing become shallower. Erik must have sensed the change in my emotions, because I felt him no longer hug me.
"Christine? What happened?" he asked
I didn't answer him. I kept staring at the candle on the table as if the fire was about to spread.
When I didn't answer him, Erik turned his head, following my gaze. When he saw what I was looking at, he turned his head towards me again.
" Candle. On the table...can cause a fire. Please, take it away... the candle, take it away "I started repeating these words like crazy, at one point grabbing his hand.
" Of course... I apologize should have guessed that... I'm sorry, I'll take it from here" Erik got up from the bed "But you can't stay enveloped in complete darkness. Would the light in a kerosene lamp be better for you? "he asked
" Yes... the lamp will be better" I told him
"Then I'll be back in a moment "he promised, took the candlestick in his hand and left the room.
Before I knew it, he came back holding a kerosene lamp in his hand.
" Will you feel safer now? "he asked, putting the kerosene lamp on the table
"Yes... thank you" I said, giving him a small smile
Erik hesitated for a moment until he finally sat down on the chair next to my bed.
" Do you want to talk about this nightmare of yours? Apparently it helps"he said, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand
I was surprised to notice that Erik was wearing a bathrobe. He also didn't have his wig, which meant that I must have woken him up with my nightmare.
"Did I wake you up? If so, I'm sorry " I said, pulling the blanket over me
A flicker of surprise crossed Erik's face.
"It doesn't matter "he waved his hand "I didn't sleep anyway. And it turned out well. When I heard your scream from your room, I immediately came to see what happened."
I saw that he wanted to know what I dreamed about. And although just a moment ago I wanted to keep it to myself, under the influence of his look I decided to tell him. He looked really worried.
" I dreamed that I was trying to get out of the opera. There were flames all around me and I couldn't get out. I came to a dead end, and the flames were getting closer to me with every moment. Then they started burning me, my skin... " I was silent for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts. Erik saw it and waited patiently for me to put it together. "It was so true. I felt like I was experiencing it all over again... I still feel like I can feel those flames on my body "I shuddered just thinking about it.
" Christine, it was just a bad dream. I know it's little consolation, and please forgive me for it, but I've never been very good at consoling... What I mean is that what you went through is now a thing of the past. Yes, various ghosts of the past may haunt you now, but that's what they are, unpleasant memories. These flames won't hurt you anymore. I promise that as long as you are here, under my care, I won't let anything happen to you. I will not allow a situation like this to happen again."
"Thank you, it means a lot to me"I smiled at him "Do you think that... I'm weak? Because of what happened? "I asked, looking down at the hand with which I was gripping the blanket, afraid of the answer.
"Of course not - Erik's eyes widened at my question" I think you're the strongest woman I've ever met."
I gave him an incredulous look.
" What happened to you recently... " this time he started to avoid my eyes in embarrassment " it's normal that you may be afraid of fire now, that you're tormented by nightmares, it's also normal. You experienced great trauma. You cannot expect, nor should anyone expect from you, that everything will be as it was before after these experiences."
"If you want "he started talking again "I can try to help you overcome your fear of fire. Of course, we would start slowly, gradually " he added when he saw my terrified face.
" All right. I agree. I want you to help me overcome this fear" I said after a while.
I was sure of my decision. Despite recent events, I was sure that when things got difficult and I felt that it was too much for me, Erik would respect my decision and would not force me to do anything.
Erik sent me a shy smile
" Okay, I think you should go to sleep. You're certainly tired" he said, and as if on cue, fear sprouted in my heart.
Fear of having another nightmare.
Erik was just about to get up from the chair when I grabbed his hand at the wrist.
"Please wait " I said, letting go of his hand " Could you sing me something and stay here until I fall asleep? I'm afraid that as soon as I close my eyes, that nightmare will come back "I admitted, looking at him with pleading eyes
I saw a trace of disbelief on Erik's face, but then he nodded.
"If that's what you want, then of course, I'll stay until you fall asleep" he said, taking a seat in the chair again
After a moment, his velvety tenor voice rang around the room as he began to sing. It was a composition unknown to me, so I suspected that it was something Erik composed himself. The song he sang was beautiful, I haven't heard such beautiful words for a long time.
Influenced by his voice, I made myself comfortable on the bed. I closed my eyes and fell asleep listening to his voice.
*******
Notes:
Did you like this chapetr?
Chapter 7: Chapter 7.
Chapter Text
* Christine
When I woke up, I reached out to turn on the light.
The artificial light scattered around the room.
My thoughts went back to the moment the night after the nightmare, when Erik came to my room and offered to plug in the electricity*. I remember how I initially assured him that he didn't have to do it for my sake, but he wouldn't let me convince him. When I finally gave up, Erik got to work right away.
Now, a few days later, I was enjoying the artificial light source.
The quiet ticking of the clock was the only source of sound echoing through the room. I glanced at the white baroque clock that stood on the dresser. The clocks hands showed a few minutes past seven.
Stretching slightly, I rose from the bed to a sitting position. The bed creaked.
I slowly put my feet on the fluffy carpet lying under the bed. I put on my slippers, grabbed the edge of the bed and stood up.
I shifted my weight to the left side to relieve my right ankle. My ankle still hurt, but fortunately the swelling I had, had gone down.
I headed to the bathroom connected to my room. After I finished, I went to the sink. Above the sink hung the only mirror I had noticed in Erik's entire house. It was a medium-sized mirror with a thick, square frame.
A woman covered in small wounds and blisters on her face was looking at me from the mirror. My skin was burned red from my left cheek along my neck to my chest.
Despite the fact that I applied Erik's ointment to the redness every day, the burn refused to heal. I was starting to worry that my skin would never heal.
I returned to my room and went to the wardrobe. I opened it and pulled out a dress in a beige shade. It was modest, perfect for walking around in the privacy of the house.
After a moment of reflection, I returned to the bathroom to wash myself.
I hadn't bathed in over a week, because I was too weak, but today I decided to change that.
I turned on the hot water tap and waited for the tub to fill with water.
It was still hard for me to believe that Erik had managed to connect the pipes so that he could have hot water. Most of Paris could still only dream of that.
I put my left foot in the tub and, holding on to the tub with all my strength, shaking, I moved my right foot into the tub as well. With a quiet groan, I submerged myself in the delicious water.
As I washed myself, I let my thoughts wander.
I wondered once again what Raoul was doing. Was he worried about me? Was he looking for me? I tried to ask Erik to inform Raoul or at least Madame Giry that I was okay, but he flatly refused. He justified himself by saying that it was unwise and dangerous.
Apparently, the opera house fire had started various riots in the city. The police tried, unsuccessfully, to control the people. Erik had also heard that the police were summoning all the artists and spectators present at the performance for questioning.
Erik promised that when I recovered, he would take me upstairs and that I would be with Raoul again.
So I decided to let the subject drop for a while.
Despite this, I couldn't help but think about Raoul, Madame, and Meg.
*****
I headed towards Erik's kitchen, which, to my surprise, was quite well equipped, considering the conditions. Several dark cabinets hung next to each other, a kitchen with two burners and a stove stood against the wall. In the middle of the kitchen stood a table with four chairs. I wanted to ask Erik why he needed so many chairs, but I refrained. That would be rude of me. A certain thought occurred to me that maybe he was trying to convince himself, that he was living a "normal" life? That one day he would have guests? I felt a surge of sympathy for him at that thought.
"Good morning Christine "Erik greeted me, placing the bread in the middle of the table.
"Good morning "I smiled at him
I went to the chair I had been occupying for a few days, and Erik pulled it out and helped me sit down on it.
"Did you sleep well? " he asked, placing the teapot on the table and sitting down on the chair opposite
"Yes, after you sang to me, I slept like a baby, thank you"
Since that night I was afraid to fall asleep, afraid of nightmares, so I asked Erik to sing to me before going to sleep, so I could sleep through the night without them.
I said a quick prayer before the meal, meeting Erik's surprised look.I reached for a slice of already cut bread and spread strawberry jam on it.
" Aren't you eating? "I asked when I wanted to take the first bite of sandwich
Erik had only poured himself some tea in a cup.
"I'm not hungry"he replied avoiding my gaze
I put the slice of bread on a plate.
"Tell me Erik, when was the last time you ate? "I asked curiously because since I was here with him I had never seen him eat
"It was.. a few days ago" he mumbled taking a sip of his tea
My eyes widened.
"A few days? And you're not hungry? "I asked
Erik looked at the table filled with food.
"I'll eat later"he waved his hand
"Why not now?"
"When I eat I have to take off my mask"he confessed
Oh.
"So what's the problem? Take it off"I encouraged him
Erik looked at me terrified.
"Christine...I can't"
"Yes you can" I said and then added more gently "Please, your face doesn't bother me, and you will do me great pleasure if you eat breakfast with me"
"B...but"
"If you're not going to eat, I'll skip breakfast too"I decided to use blackmail on him-
"You're not serious"
"I'm completely serious "I pushed my plate away from me.
I couldn't let him starve himself to death. I was ashamed to admit that my request was fueled by selfishness. If anything happened to him, I would be condemned to spend the rest of my probably short life in the basement of the opera. I wasn't naive, I was perfectly aware that I wouldn't be able to find my way out of here on my own. The basement had too many corridors filled with traps. That's why I couldn't let him starve. Who knows how long those "few days" lasted.
I crossed my arms under my chest, looking at him defiantly.
Although I wanted to give up a few times, I defiantly maintained eye contact.
I intended to get my way.
Of course, my stomach decided to betray me at the most inconvenient moment, loudly demanding food.
After that pathetic sound from my stomach, Erik's gaze softened.
He looked at me for a moment longer and then sighed loudly. His hand touched the porcelain mask and, sending me one last look, he slowly removed the mask from his face.
"Better?" he growled angrily, looking at my face.
I saw him searching my face for any sign of fear or disgust. In vain.
"See? Better right away "I smiled at him
Erik looked at me as if I was crazy.
With a smile on my face, I reached for my sandwich.
Erik, every now and then time looking at me uncertainly he reached for a slice of bread.
During breakfast I tried to distract Erik with thoughts about his face asking him about various trifles. Despite this, he ate so that I had the least opportunity to look at his deformed part of his face.
"You don't have to wear a mask in my presence "I said after breakfast when Erik reached for it.
" I'm sure it must be terribly uncomfortable to wear it all the time.... The mask rubs against your skin all the time, irritating and hurting it " I added
"I don't wear it all the time, I take it off to sleep "he smiled at me showing the handsome side of his face
"You know what I mean " replied
" don't want you to be forced to look at this" he pointed his finger at his face
"Tell me Erik, do you see me flinching at the sight of you?" I tried to convince him otherwise
"No" he said after a moment of thought
" Exactly, that's because your face doesn't bother me. Please, I want you to feel comfortable in your own home...when you're home alone, do you wear a mask?"
" I...it depends...sometimes I wear one"
Oh, poor Erik.
"Please..."
Erik sighed.
Looking at his face without the mask, I didn't feel fear. I never did. The first time I thoughtlessly took it off, I was terrified not by his face, but by his anger.
I admit, it wasn't the most handsome face I'd ever seen. But I felt uneasy when I looked into his cold, lifeless half-mask. Especially since the other side of his face expressed so many emotions.
His blue eyes filled with sadness were now staring at me.
"It's hard for me to deny you anything" It seemd to me that he whispered
"Fine, I won't wear a mask, if that's what you really want...but promise me that if you feel that you can no longer look at me without a mask, you'll tell me right away, all right?"he asked
I swallowed hard, realizing that if I couldn't look at his face any longer, I would never tell him. I wouldn't have the heart to. Not when I saw something in his eyes that looked like desperate hope. Hope that someone could look at him without judging him and thinking he was a monster. That someone could see him for who he really was.
I nodded. That was enough for me to see Erik's shoulders relax and he gave me an uncertain smile.
"In that case, come, my dear, it's time for our lesson," he said, changing the subject, holding out his arm to me.
A lesson?
I hesitated for a moment before taking his arm and Erik led me to his living room.
*****
Chapter Text
*Erik
"...it's time for our lesson "I said entering the living room.
Sensing her hand tightening on my arm, I looked at her.
Her gaze was fixed on the burning fireplace. I saw her breathing quicken and fear lurked in her eyes.
"Calm down Christine, I promised to help you overcome your fear of fire, remember? "I gently grabbed Christine's chin so she would look at me.
Christine's frightened eyes looked at me, and I began to wonder if I had done the right thing planning our lesson that day. Maybe it's too soon for her? Maybe she needs more time?
"If you don't feel up to it, we can postpone this lesson for another day "I added immediately
Christine thought for a moment.
" I want to try " she finally whispered in an uncertain tone, and I let out my held breath.
-"Alright. If at any point you feel like this is too much for you, just tell me and we'll end the lesson. There's a bucket of water right next to the fireplace, I can put out the fire at any time. - I pointed to the aforementioned bucket
Christine nodded slightly.
"Our first lesson will be to ignore the flames. I'd like you to forget that the fireplace is lit "I said
Christine's eyebrows rose in surprise.
"I've prepared chess for us if you'd like to play. We can also read. The choice is yours"
" Can we play chess?"
"Of course "I led Christine to the chess table. I helped Christine sit down on a chair and then took a seat opposite her.
"Christine?" I watched worriedly as her terrified eyes stared at the fire in the fireplace.
Maybe we should end the lesson today?
Christine blinked rapidly a few times, shook her head and moved her gaze to me.
I shuddered, remembering that she was looking at me without a mask. I shifted in my chair, turning my head so that the woman sitting opposite me could see the side of my face that was as free of the deformity as possible.
"Shall we start?" she asked in a tense voice, playing with her hands that rested on her thighs
"Which ones do you want to play?"
She shrugged.
"I doesn't matter to me"
It turned out that Christine played with white pieces and I played with black ones.
We played a few games when suddenly Christine straightened up in her chair and looked at me suspiciously.
"I was never good at chess..." she confessed "...and now I win time and time again" she looked at me, narrowing her eyes slightly "...You let me win, don't you?"
She surprised me so much that she saw through me so quickly that I didn't know how to react.
" I...well I.."she interrupted my pathetic stream of words
"Please, let's play fair, otherwise it makes no sense. I would like to be able to enjoy a real victory"
"As you wish"I nodded
I won.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Christine had no chance against me.
I watched in fascination as she squinted her eyes and bit her lip, contemplating her next move. Every now and then, sounds of shock and indignation escaped her lips as I got rid of her pawns.
She pushed her brown curls that fell in front of her face behind her ear, while I imagined what it would be like if I could do the same.
She was so focused on the game of chess that I had the impression she had forgotten about the burning fireplace.
At the beginning of our game, all tense, she would steal, fearful glances at the fireplace. Now, I had the impression that she hadn't looked there for a long time.
I was glad of that.
I was proud of her for deciding to try to overcome her fear.
Or maybe two.
Despite her assurances, I sincerely doubted that she wasn't afraid of my face. Even my poor mother couldn't look at me, let alone this woman. I admired her, that despite everything I had put her through, she was able to sit in the same room with me. That she smiled at me and talked to me. I didn't deserve her kindness.
-"Ha! I won "I heard Christine's incredulous cry, accompanied by a giggle.
I could listen to her voice, her laughter for hours. Her voice was still hoarse, but it didn't matter to me. I don't remember the last time I was able to hear her sweet laughter in my company. I think the last time I was still pretending to be her Angel of Music...
"Erik? Is everything okay? "I blinked and saw Christine's worried face.
"Yes, yes of course... why wouldn't it be?"- I asked carelessly, trying to cover up my distraction.
-"You've been sitting still for a long time... "she said with... concern?
Fool! I didn't even want to imagine how terrified I must have been when I was lost in my thoughts and she had to stare at my hideous face devoid of any emotion.
Fool! I screamed to myself in my thoughts.
"Everything is fine, my dear... -"under the influence of my thoughts I got up from the chair and fell at Christine's feet.
Christine looked at me confused.
" Erik? What.. what are you... " I gently grabbed her hand interrupting her.
" Christine.. "I looked into her eyes "I want to apologize to you... Let me be able to confess how much I regret what I did... How for many years I lied to you and manipulated you, allowing you to believe in this whole farce with the Angel of Music. I was sure that this was the only way, that this was the only way I could teach you and get to know you. You wouldn't have accepted me as your teacher if I had introduced myself to you in person. Even if you hadn't somehow escaped at the sight of the mask, I had already observed you enough to know that, holding on to your father's promise, you would have rejected my offer, waiting for the Angel of Music... Of course, that doesn't excuse my actions "I quickly added "... I want to apologize to you for witnessing my madness... for seeing a man die at my hand..."
I felt Christine's hand, covered by mine, tense up slightly
"..I had no right to kidnap you and I had no right to give you an ultimatum... I will never forgive myself for the fact that you suffered in the fire because of me... Christine, no words can describe how much I regret my actions and how much I want to apologize to you for them " in the middle of my speech, tears began to flow down my cheeks.
I put my head on Christine's knees, sobbing.
" Oh, Erik... " feeling a gentle touch on my shoulder, I tensed.
I raised my head to see that tears were also flowing from Christine's eyes.
"Erik... I also want to apologize to you... When you revealed yourself, I should have given you a chance to explain your lies, and I, terrified and hurt by your lie, avoided you... Many times I wanted to talk to you, ask you to explain everything... but... that night of Il mutu..." she fell silent for a moment "... when Bouque died... I was terrified. I was afraid that maybe you would want to hurt me too..." at some point Christine slid off the chair. We were both kneeling on the floor. Her hand found mine and, squeezing it, she continued "I'm sorry that I took off your mask without asking... I'm sorry that I took part in Raoul's plan so that the officers could capture you. I tried to dissuade them somehow, but to no avail. I didn't want to take part in this... But Raoul... he convinced me so much that in the end... -"her lip trembled.
At some point she rested her head in the hollow of my neck. She hugged me around the waist.
Unused to touch, to a nice, pleasant touch, I tensed my muscles.
After a moment, breathing shallowly, I returned her embrace.
I don't know how much time we spent like that.
Crying, hugging each other, on the floor in my living room.
I wanted this moment to last forever.
Christine's tears fell on my shirt. Every now and then I heard her sniffling.
I closed my eyes. Although I couldn't see her face, I imagined that her face was slightly red from crying, her long eyelashes were covered with dew from the tears that were running down her cheeks.
I wanted to be able to kiss away each of her tears, whispering to her that she had nothing to apologize for.
I am to blame for everything that happened to us, not her.
Who in her place wouldn't have done differently?
One day you are taught by the Angel of Music, and the next you find out that your Angel of Music is a man with the face of a demon terrorizing the opera where you sing.
Many people in her place would have run screaming from the opera, never to return.
I shuddered at the thought of what a fool I had been.
Christine and I were still hugging each other, but each of us had stopped crying some time ago.
I felt as if this moment of apology and mutual forgiveness was necessary for us.
I felt as if we had broken through some invisible wall, thanks to which peace had reigned between us again.
I hadn't felt such peace, such freedom in Christine's company for a long time. Last time when I felt like that I was just a voice to her, a mysterious Angel of Music.
I promised myself in my mind that I would do everything in my power to make sure that this wonderful woman would not regret giving me a second chance.
I would take care of her until she got better. I would help her overcome her fear of fire.
And then...
Then, I would let her go.
I would let her make her choice, as I should have from the beginning.
No matter how much my heart would ache from her decision.
I would not become the selfish monster who wanted to keep her by my side at all costs.
When Christine feels better again and the riots subsided, I would let her go.
Even if, by doing so, I would sentence myself to death.
Because I could not imagine my life without her.
****
Notes:
Let me know guys what do you think of this chapter.
Tomorrow I post the next chapter <3
Chapter Text
*Christine
A few days have passed since that day, when we both cried and apologized to each other.
It was back to how it was between us, when I only knew his voice.
We talked freely, without the distance and stiffness that had accompanied us since I found myself back in his house.
We also spent more time together.
In the first days, when I spent days in bed because of the pain, Erik would come to me only for a moment, and then hide in one of the rooms for hours. Now, however, we were able to talk for hours on various topics again, like we used to after the singing lessons.
Erik continued to help me overcome my fear of fire. Several times I was so scared that I jumped out of the chair, running away from the living room. I remember how much I was shaking. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it would jump out of my chest.
When Erik left the room a moment later, he whispered in his hypnotizing voice that everything was fine. I remember how in those moments he pulled me closer to him. Embracing me, he whispered in my ear that he was proud of me. Although it was irrational, once again I felt peace being in his arms.
A few days later, immersed in a more comfortable couch, I listened as if enchanted to Erik reading a book aloud. Erik, sitting opposite me in an armchair, played with his voice, changing the tone and color of his voice depending on the character he was reading at the time.
He had a talent for it.
Once again I wondered what kind of life he could have had if he had not been born with such a face.
Would he have been a famous composer? A singer? He would certainly have been a respected gentleman in society.
Maybe he would have a wife? A bunch of small children?
If he had a "normal" face, would we have met? Would our fates have turned out differently?
My head hurt from the flood of thoughts.
I tried to focus on Erik's voice again, noticing that he had stopped reading.
Closing the book, marking the page he had finished on, he turned to me.
"I was thinking... maybe you would like to get some fresh air?"
Get some fresh air? It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't been outside for a few weeks.
" I would love to "I smiled
"What do you say now?"
The smile on my face widened. I felt sparks of happiness dancing in my eyes.
I nodded eagerly, and Erik laughed at my enthusiasm.
I was glad to see that he felt more comfortable in my company. He no longer flinched when I looked at him. He also didn't try to hide his face from me.
"Change into something warmer. We'll meet again in a few minutes in the living room."
Without wasting a second longer, I went to the room I was in.
After a moment of thought, I pulled a warm dress in the color of rotten green out of the closet.
After changing into it, I left the room where Erik was waiting for me. He was wrapped in a black scarf that covered some of his face. His white mask flashed from behind the scarf. I suspected that he put it on to feel more confident outside.
"Here, this is a coat for you" Erik unfolded the coat, helping me put it on
I slid my hands into the sleeves, feeling how the warm coat warmed my body.
It was a beautiful black wool coat. The collar and cuffs were trimmed with fur.
Then Erik handed me gloves. Putting them on my hands, Erik led me to the exit of his house. He moved the curtain, then let me through it first.
I shuddered involuntarily, looking around. My thoughts returned to the night of Don Juan. It was here that Erik forced me to choose between him and Raoul. Closing my eyes for a moment, I saw Raoul again, desperately holding the lasso around his neck with his hands. Again I heard his despair and pleas for mercy. Again I saw the agitated Erik in front of me...
I blinked and the image disappeared.
The last time I was here, this room had been lit with candles. Now it was dark. The only source of light, an oil lamp, was held in Erik's hand.
We walked to the boat that Erik helped me get into.
Then he put the oil lamp on the bench, grabbed an oar and we set off.
**
We walked along the corridors of the opera house.
I didn't know where to look.
The multitude of beams, torn walls, curtains and marble were covered in dust. The remains of burnt furniture, sculptures and carpets were lying all around me.
My heart ached at the sight.
I felt like I was in a different place.
I couldn't believe that this place, which had become my home after my father's death, looked like a ruin.
The sight of Erik's clenched jaw made me realize that he was thinking the same thing.
We walked through numerous corridors in silence until we came across the doors leading to the roof of the opera. Erik struggled with them for a while, until finally, pushing with his whole body, he opened them..
Slowly, holding on to the railing, I took the next steps up the stairs.
Erik walked right behind me.
When I stood on the last step, Erik carefully stood next to me to open the door.
He climbed the roof first and helped me out.
I was greeted by frost that began to sting my cheeks. The wind tore my hair in all directions as I began to draw in the frosty air into my lungs.
I had no idea I missed it so much.
The roof around me was covered in a white blanket.
Smooth snow, unmarked by human footsteps, shone gently.
I lifted my head up, noticing that it had started to snow.
Smiling, I stretched out my hand, watching as snowflakes fell on it, only to dissolve a moment later.
Happy, giggling like a little girl, I began to spin around my own axis. I loved snow.
For a moment I forgot about the world. Only after a moment, remembering Erik's presence, did I stop. Embarrassed by what he must have thought of my behavior, I looked at him shyly. Erik was still standing by the door.
"I missed this," I admitted, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, "...Did something happen?" – I asked when Erik didn't react
" ...I have to admit something to you" he looked at me"that night of the premiere of Il muto, I saw you, I saw you and the boy... I hid there, behind the statue of Apollo "he pointed to the statue
I followed him with my eyes.
"I swear, I didn't intend to follow you and eavesdrop"he added quickly" ... I hid here before you two got here... " he explained himself
I brought that night to my mind.
I was terrified of what happened. I thought that with Raoul we would only be there, on the roof, safe from the Phantom. I wanted to laugh now at this stupidity.
"If you were here, it means you heard... everything that... Erik, I'm sorry..."
I said many words under the influence of emotions, which I later regretted. And now that I found out that Erik had heard them, I wanted to sink into the ground.
"Don't apologize, I deserved your words back then. I scared you beyond belief that night... " Erik's muscles tensed
An awkward silence reigned between us again.
Unable to bear it, I decided to ask him something. Especially since we were reminiscing that night...
"What happened that night? Why did you kill Joseph Bouque?" I was afraid of his answer, but I wanted to finally know the truth
"If I tell you... Will it change anything?"
Not knowing the answer, I remained silent. I avoided eye contact.
" That night, the "disaster beyond imagination" was supposed to be the situation with Carlotta. She was supposed to lose her voice so that you could replace her.... I was careless. Bouque saw me when I switched the bottles. He would have reported me. I couldn't let him do this. I pulled the lasso out of my coat and took him by surprise.... "he fell silent for a moment. I could see the pain on his face "... I had to do it Christine. I had no choice... If I hadn't done it, he would have reported me and that would have been the end for me. I would have been thrown in prison and then sentenced to death. Or I would have ended up in the circus again... " if possible his muscles tensed even more at the mention of the circus.
I remembered Raoul's words about Erik's past. "They kept him in a cage, beating him and showing him to people like an animal.." It was the only time Raoul spoke of Erik with compassion.
Admitting to his actions from that unfortunate night, Erik's shoulders sagged.
He looked like a child who had confessed that it did something wrong and was waiting for his mother's reaction.
Although it may be stupid, I believed him.
I believed that he did it to protect himself. Although I did not approve of his actions, I felt a huge relief that it turned out that he did not do it because he was a bloodthirsty killer.
"I understand, Erik" I walked up to him and grabbed his hand.
I felt his hand tighten on mine.
For a moment we stared into each other's eyes, trying to convey different emotions.
After a moment I walked away from him, looking at the busy streets below us.
Some were rushing somewhere, others were moving slowly. Carriages pulled by horses were driving along the streets, and the clatter of their hooves could be heard even on the roof. A few children were running between the adults, throwing snowballs at each other.
Suddenly an idea came to my mind. I grabbed a handful of snow from the statue next to me, rolled it into a ball, then turned and threw it at Erik.
I watched as the snow shattered against Erik's shoulder.
"Christine? What happened? Are you mad at me? "he asked looking at me with a look of confusion on his face
I frowned.
"No, of course not"
"Then why did you hit me with snow?"
"You... "I widened my eyes "You've never played a snowball fight?
"No, I've never played a snowball fight "he announced crossing his arms under his chest.
"You don't even know what you've lost. It's very simple. You just take some snow in your hands and form a small ball out of it, and then throw it at someone, in our case you throw it at me "I explained
"For what purpose? "on the exposed part of his face his eyebrow went up
"For fun"
I bent down and forming a ball out of snow I threw it towards Erik.
The corner of Erik's mouth lifted. He scooped some snow off the wall and started to form a ball.
Seeing this, I started to run away while grabbing snow in my hands.
That's how we started the snowball fight.
I don't know how long we were throwing snowballs at each other. I lost track of time.
Squealing and laughing, I ran away from the balls being thrown, trying to hit Erik all the time.
Having thrown a ball in his direction, Erik tried to run away. I saw one leg hanging in the air, and then Erik lying on the roof.
Laughing at him, I wanted to stop, but I also lost solid ground under my feet. I don't know how, but when I was falling Erik managed to catch me so that I fell not on the hard roof tiles, but on him.
I lifted myself off his chest. Seeing the look on Erik's face I couldn't help but laugh again. A moment later Erik joined me. He had a beautiful laugh.
I stopped laughing only when my stomach hurt from laughing.
I looked at Erik.
The mask covering the deformed part of his face tilted slightly.
I saw sparks of happiness dancing in his eyes. He gazed at me with love. A blissful smile was on his lips.
Is this what our life together would look like if I were to be his wife? Would it be full of laughter, joy?
Forcing myself to stop my thoughts, I saw that Erik had taken off his glove and wiped the tears of laughter on my face with his bare hand. His hand slid down to my cheek. He held it there for a moment, until he cleared his throat and took it away. After taking his hand away, I felt an overwhelming cold on my cheek.
"How's your leg? Is it not bothering you?"
I had completely forgotten about my ankle. After Erik's question, I felt a slight pulsation in it.
"I can feel it a little, but it's fine," I said, not wanting to worry him.
"I think we should go back...we don't want you to get sick here, do we? " he said, standing up and dusting himself off the snow.
He extended his hand to me, which I gladly accepted and Erik helped me up.
"But we'll come back here, right? "I made a pleading face at him
"Of course"
After taking a few steps, I hissed under my breath. I felt my ankle hurt.
Erik looked at me worriedly. After telling him that the ankle hurts me, he picked me up and took me in his arms.
I protested, but Erik started walking without reacting.
After a moment, understanding that this time I wouldn't win with him, I put my arms around his neck, resting my head on his chest.
I felt his heartbeat.
Without saying anything, I let Erik carry me to his house.
****
Notes:
*In my story the premiere of Don Juan and the fire in the opera takes place at the end of Junuary. That's why in this chapter there is snow.
So, what do you think of this chapter?
You can expect the next chapter next week :)
Chapter 10: Chapter 10.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
*Christine
I listened and watched as if enchanted by the grace with which Erik's fingers moved on the organ.
I had the impression that Erik had become one with the instrument while playing.
When the last sounds of the organ faded away, Erik turned towards me.
"That was wonderful," I praised him.
Erik thanked me.
"I miss this," I confessed, sitting down right next to Erik, on the edge of the stool.
Erik's attentive gaze watched my every move.
"So... would you like to resume our singing lessons?" he asked with a hint of uncertainty, placing his hands on his thighs.
I opened my mouth, then closed it.
I could have expected such a question.
"I... I'm not ready," I finally confessed.
I couldn't sing.
Not at that moment.
My voice... My voice still didn't sound the same as before. I was starting to wonder if there was even a chance that I would regain it in full.
A few nights ago, I tried to warm up my voice to sing. I broke down then. I sounded terrible. I squeaked like an unoiled hinge.
"I understand..." I saw Erik's muscles tense up almost imperceptibly.
Was Erik angry with me? Did he really want to hear me sing?
"I can't sing because of the burn. Believe me, I really want to... but not now... this... this is too fast... my voice..." I touched my neck with my hand. "We both know I sound terrible when I speak, let alone if I would sing. I can't... I can not do this.." I looked down.
"Of course, I'm sorry, I should have thought that..." he stopped in mid-sentence.
I looked up at him slowly.
"Erik? Just because I can't sing doesn't have to change anything. We can lose ourselves in music in a different way. Maybe we could play a duet? You on the organ and I on the violin?"
Erik's face softened and his gaze sparkled.
"If that's what you want, then I'm all for it. Do you have a particular piece in mind?"
I thought for a moment.
"Chopin, Nocturne in E flat major, op. 9, no. 2?"*
Erik got up from the stool and went to the chest of drawers from which various scores were spilling out.
Handing me the appropriate sheet music so that I could arrange it on the organ, Erik went to get the violin.
Getting up from the stool, I felt excitement in my lower abdomen. It had been so long since I held a violin in my hands.
Taking the violin from Erik, I immediately placed it on my collarbone. Holding the bow in my other hand, I was about to extract the first sound from the violin when I heard Erik's voice.
"If I could say something..." I looked at him questioningly, "would you let me correct your pose?"
"Of course."
The man stood right behind me.
-You hold the violin correctly by the collarbone, while by the strings the violin should be held gently down.
I felt his warm breath by my ear. My back was almost touching Erik's torso.
I felt my cheeks turn red.
He stood so close to me.
His hand covered mine, in which I was holding the bow. He moved it along the strings.
Covering my other hand with his hand, he also pressed it gently along the strings.
Along with this, we were accompanied by the delicate sound of the instrument, which had been woken from sleep.
"That's perfect"I felt Erik's warm breath brushing my ear when he said that.
He moved away from me.
"Shall we start?"I asked, trying to keep my voice normal.
My head was spinning. It felt so good when he was so close to me. Part of me wanted him to stand so close to me. But the other part of me wanted to be in the other side of the room, away from Erik.
I didn't understand what I was feeling.
I put my feelings down to the fact that this was something like our first, face-to-face lesson together. After all, Erik had taught me from behind a mirror before, however strange and absurd it sounded.
Yes, that had to be it. That's why I felt disoriented. Because it was the first time Erik had touched me to correct my pose. When he had pretended to be the Angel of Music before, he couldn't do that, and he had to be content with explaining verbally what pose I should have.
Having sat down on the stool, Erik turned his head slightly to look at me.
"Ready?"
I nodded slightly.
Erik's hands hovered over the keys. I put the bow to the violin.
In an instant, the sound of music echoed through the room.
I missed it.
I felt like I had been transported to another world,
With every next note, with every next sound, I felt that the music had taken over me.
I closed my eyes for a moment. I was enjoying the melody. That feeling.
We played in perfect harmony.
We played together. Neither of us tried to drown out the other person with our instrument.
We were both completely immersed in the music.
I felt like at that moment our souls had left their bodies for a moment to become one at that moment.
At some point, finishing the song, the music stopped. My chest was heaving from the excess of emotions.
"It was... I don't even have words," Erik said after a moment.
I agreed with him.
"I don't remember the last time I played a duet with someone," Erik said.
Intrigued by the fact that he had said something about himself, I put the violin on the table and sat down on the stool next to Erik.
Seeing the curiosity on my face, he added:
'I remember that when I was a lad only when I was making music, my poor mother didn't flinch from me. Naturally, for this reason, I tried to play as often as possible. Sometimes she even joined me. Then I played the piano and she played the flute... I remember how in those moments I convinced myself that my mother loved me and that was why we spent time together...
" Did you love her?" I said these words before I thought about them.
Bravo Christine! What made you ask such an absurd question? I scolded myself in my thoughts, wanting to sink into the ground.
"Yes... "he replied after a moment "Like every child I guess I loved my mother... No matter how much she hated me, in the first years of my life I had, and I only knew her...."
"You know... I didn't know my mother, she died just a few days after I was born... Even during the pregnancy she wasn't doing too well, doctors warned her and tried to convince her to rest, but she... Father said that until the last moments before giving birth she preferred to stand and sing on stage... "I smiled at the memories of papa " ... Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if she had survived... What kind of mother would she have been? Would I come to her with every problem? Or Papa?... But I'll never know "I smiled weakly at him.
" And you? You mentioned your mother, but what about your father? "I asked
" My father... My mother didn't mention him much... She said he left her after I was born, stating that it was impossible for his child to have the face of a demon.... So I never saw him. I know I was supposed to be named after him, but they changed their minds after I was born..."
"Do you know what that name is? "I put my elbows on my thighs and held my head in my hands.
- Beau
Handsome.
"Ironic, don't you think?"
"So how did your name end up being Erik?" I asked, not wanting to answer his comment
" I got it by accident" he replied evasively.
"By accident? How so? " my eyebrow went up.
"I'll answer that question another time, my dear " I could see Erik's muscles tense up
Did I ask him too much? Didn't he feel comfortable enough to answer every question I asked about him and his past? I decided to let it go.
"Okay," I smiled at him.
I straightened up on the stool. I fixed a lock of hair.
"You know...when we were playing...I remembered papa's favorite piece...He often played it when we went from village to village," I started to speak after a moment of silence when each of us was lost in our own thoughts.
Erik looked at me from the corner of his eye.
"What was that piece?"
"The Resurrection of Lazarus...it's a piece that the world has forgotten," I added, convinced that he hadn't heard of it.
"Composed by Misha Segal**?"
"Yes!" Not expecting him to know it, I clapped my hands. "Do you know it?"
"Of course...I know that piece by heart," he replied.
"Could you...could you play it for me? I haven't heard it in a while..." I asked, looking down at my hands.
Erik got up from the stool and walked over to the table where I had placed my violin. I watched as he took the instrument in his hands and placed it against his collarbone.
From the first sound of the violin I felt tears gather in my eyes.
I've been crying way too much lately I thought
Ignoring them, I listened to every second of Erik's playing.
For a moment I felt like I had gone back in time. When I closed my eyes for a moment, I could easily imagine that it was my father playing for me.
However, when I opened them, I had to admit that I could hear a clear difference in the way Erik played and my father played. My father played as if he had been playing his whole life, while Erik played as if he had been born playing.
"Thank you" I finally whispered, wiping my tears.
At first Erik looked terrified by my tears, but seeing my smile, he smiled shyly.
He put the bow to the strings, and after a moment I listened again as Erik played.
It was an unknown composition to me. From the rhythm and its style I guessed that the composer could be Mozart. The melody was happier than the Resurrection of Lazarus. Like Erik was trying to cheer me up.
*****
Notes:
Hi, sorry for the delay of the chapter.
How did you like it? Let me know in the comments.
* Chopin, Nocturne in E flat major op.9 no. 2 is a piece usually played on the piano, however there are also versions of this piece in the form of a duet (piano, violin)
** Misha Segal is the composer for the film The Phantom of the Opera from 1989.
"The Resurrection of Lazarus" is of course a reference to the book.
In my story, when writing about the piece "The Resurrection of Lazarus" I meant the piece from the film in which Erik plays the violin for Christine, in the cemetery. The piece in the 1989 film is called "Cemetery Violin"
As a curiosity, I will add that it is not certain whether the composition "The Resurrection of Lazarus" really existed, fans have been trying to find it for years, but to no avail...
Chapter 11: Chapter 11.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
*Christine
I was worried about Erik.
I got used to the fact that when I entered the kitchen, Erik used to greet me, who was preparing breakfast for us. That's why I was surprised when I found no one there. I thought that maybe for the first time since I was there, Erik had fallen asleep soundly. Passing quietly by Erik's room, I stopped by the door. I put my ear to the door. I didn't hear the bed creaking from time to time, or any other sound coming from Erik's room. It was too quiet there.
Hesitating for a moment, I knocked quietly on the door. Silence answered me.
Starting to worry a little, after a while I knocked again. When I didn't get an answer then either, I grabbed the door handle and pressed it.
"Erik?" I whispered as I opened the door slightly.
Erik's room was dark. The only source of light came into the room through the light in the living room.
I took an uncertain step towards the room. I had never been in his room. Even though I couldn't see much, I noticed that his room was furnished with Louis VI mahogany furniture. Books and sheet music were lying everywhere.
But there was no sign of Erik. I closed the door behind me and walked away from his room.
He wasn't home.
So where was he? How long ago had he been? Why hadn't he told me anything?
I racked my brain about this. Every now and then my mind would come up with a darker and darker scenario. I imagined Erik leaving the opera to replenish his food supplies. On his way back he was stopped by the police. Or attacked by a gang of thugs... wounded... What if he was bleeding to death in some dark, forgotten alley?
I thought I would go mad from not knowing.
The quiet splashing of water made me jump up without a moment to what was supposed to be the front door to Erik's house. Peeking out from behind it cautiously, I saw a male silhouette rocking on a boat. As the figure approached the shore, I noticed with relief that it was Erik. He was back! He was alive!
Without waiting for him to enter the house, I ran down two steps and quickly walked towards him.
"Erik! Where were you? " I asked in an angry tone.
Pulling the bow of the boat onto the shore, Erik looked at me. From under the mask covering Erik's entire face, I saw in his eyes... anxiety?
"Christine... I didn't think..." he tried to explain, but under the influence of emotion I interrupted him.
"God only knows what I was going through here... You didn't tell me anything, you didn't even bother to leave a note!" I raised my voice slightly "... I was worried about you" I added more calmly.
"I'm sorry Christine that I scared you. I didn't think it would take me so long... I was sure I'd make it back before you got up "he explained, sending me an apologetic look.
Feeling the cold in this part of the underground, I wrapped my arms around myself.
" Will you tell me where you were?"I asked
I watched him carefully.
" I will, but let's go inside first, okay? "Erik reached for a package from the boat, and together we entered Erik's house.
" It's not how I planned it, but"... - he took a deep breath " Happy birthday, Christine."
I looked at him like he was an idiot.
What was he saying?
Erik must have seen the confusion on my face, because he added:
" Today is your birthday, Christine."
What? How is that possible? Today was supposed to be March fifteenth?... That's impossible... That meant I'd been with Erik for almost two months?
"... I went to buy a cake for you, but the customer before me probably came there to gossip instead of buying something, so I had to stand behind her for I don't know how long and listened to how a certain woman whose fiancé had left her got drunk and danced on the table... "I laughed as I imagined how Erik had involuntarily listened to the gossip.
It warmed my heart that Erik had decided to go out in public for me, just so I could eat a birthday cake.
"Erik, thank you, you didn't have to buy it "I said as he took off his mask
"I had to. It's your birthday. People usually eat cake on their birthdays, right? " he asked.
I sensed a bit of uncertainty in his tone. Did this man ever celebrate his birthday?
I nodded at his question and he gave me a wide smile.
"Wait here for me, I'll go get the gifts" before I could blink, Erik was gone.
Gifts?
**
Sitting in the living room, I slowly pulled the first gift out of the gift bag. I carefully unwrapped it. The gift turned out to be a beautiful, dark navy dress. It was suitable for everyday wear. It was elegant, but not overly so. In its own way, it was a dress with a simple cut. Getting up from the sofa, I held the dress to my body and turned around with it. The material followed me with a quiet rustle.
"It's beautiful, Erik, thank you," I smiled at him radiantly.
Erik sat in his armchair, and with some concern watched my reaction to the gifts.
Promising myself that I would put it on later, I gently put it on the sofa.
I reached for the second gift. From the size and appearance of the wrapped gift, I guessed it was a book. I carefully unwrapped it. I looked at the title.
I froze.
I blinked several times in shock.
I thought my mind was playing tricks on me.
But the more I stared at the title of the book, the more it seemed true.
I ran my fingertips over the engraved letters.
"Stolthet och fördom"
Pride and Prejudice.
I couldn't remember the last time I saw something written in my native language. Let alone the last time I was able to read something in it.
My eyes welled up.
It was the most beautiful and thoughtful gift anyone had ever given me.
"Christine? Are you okay?" I heard Erik's voice from a distance.
I looked up at him.
"Yes... I just..." I cleared my throat slightly, feeling a lump in my throat from the emotion. "... It means a lot to me..." After these words, I closed the space between us and approached Erik. Standing on my tiptoes, I wrapped my arms around his neck. At first I felt Erik stiffen under my touch, but then he relaxed. His arms gently wrapped around my mid-back.
"How.. how did you manage to get it?"I asked, freeing myself from the hug.
It was hard to find foreign language books in Paris. I looked many times, but every time it ended in disappointment for me.
"It wasn't easy, but I have my ways " he smiled mysteriously.
" Thank you... you don't even know how much it means to me... I missed reading literature in my native language "I confessed.
Erik nodded.
" I know, that's why I did everything I could to get you this book."
I looked again at the beautiful cover of the book.
"You remembert..? - I asked again, raising my gaze to him.
I remembered how a few years ago Meg and I read Pride and Prejudice. I liked this story so much that after one of my singing lessons I told it to my Angel of Music. I confessed then that I would love to be able to read this book in my native language.
"I remember everything about you," Erik replied.
At the sound of his words and his gaze I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks. Trying to hide it, I put the book down on the table with almost reverence and then began to open another present.
**
"I have to admit that this cake is delicious" I said, taking a piece of cake on a fork.
"I'm glad, because that means it was worth listening to all those gossips. I thought my ears would wither from listening to them" Erik made such a funny face that I laughed.
" Erik? Can I ask you something?" The change in tone in my voice made Erik's wide smile decrease. He shifted slightly in his chair.
"You'll probably think it's stupid..." I hesitated...what if he laughs at me?"Christine, I promise I'll never think anything about you is stupid" he said, covering my hand with his.Seeing the sincerity in his eyes, I continued:
"You see...Meg and I had a tradition together...namely, on each of our birthdays we danced. Depending on which of us had a birthday, the other one became her dance partner... We laughed that we were dancing with our dream partners... And so I thought... would you dance with me? " I felt my hand covered under Erik's hand sweating with every word I said.
"Me? "he finally asked, surprised.I nodded." I don't know... I can't dance."
"I can teach you the basic steps of the waltz."
"Music... we don't have music... How are you going to dance without music? " Erik tried hard to get out of it.
" It never bothered us with Meg... I saw your gramophone*, you don't want to convince me that you have a gramophone but no records, do you? " I fell silent and then added "... If you don't want to dance, tell me... You know what? Let's forget I even mentioned it "I wanted to free my hand from Erik's, when he gently grabbed my wrist.
"Okay, let's dance."
I looked at him skeptically.
"Erik, if you don't want to, I really don't..."he didn't let me finish.
"I want to...really...forgive me if you took it differently...I just...I've never danced with someone, and I don't know how to do it...I don't want to step on your toes while dancing. " he said, looking into my eyes.
"I'm sure it won't be that bad " I smiled at him.
Erik got up from the couch and offered me his hand, helping me up.
We walked together to the gramophone next to which on the floor stood a wicker basket with packed records. I never paid much attention to it.
After rummaging through them for a moment, Erik took out one record.
"What do you think about this one?"
He chose a piece by one of my favorite composers.
"It'll be perfect."
With a deft movement, he placed the record on the turntable.
I watched, enchanted, as the vinyl began to spin, so that the first sounds of the piece could finally be heard.
I had heard about this new invention many times, and had seen it many times in newspaper advertisements or in shop windows.
However, this was the first time I had been able to see and hear how the thing worked.
Meg, who was interested in all new inventions, was convinced that it would not be long before we would be able to talk to each other from different ends of the city! That would be amazing...
"Christine?"
I moved away from the turntable.
"I'm sorry... I've never seen a turntable work before and I got distracted..."
"Interesting little device, isn't it?"
"Oh yes... it's fascinating that humanity managed to invent something like this. Something that records and saves sound!...After all, this sound...it's nothing compared to what you can hear and feel when listening to a live orchestra.
Erik nodded in appreciation.
"I completely agree with you, my dear. This is only a pathetic substitute for what you can experience when listening to live music."
"So, ready to dance?" Changing the subject, I held out my hand to Erik.
***I had to admit that Erik learned the steps quickly.
At first, it was awkward for me, because I was used to Erik teaching me something, not the other way around. However, with each passing moment I felt more comfortable in this new role. I corrected Erik several times during the dance.
Halfway through the dance, Erik started leading. It happened so naturally that at first I didn't even register it. We spun around Erik's living room to the rhythm of the waltz from the ballet Sleeping Beauty.
Smiles blossomed on our faces. We improvised the dance steps a few times.
I had to admit that Erik was a great dancer. I felt good dancing with him. Freely.
At that moment, everything stopped mattering. There were no worries. Only us mattered.
The dance was coming to an end, and we were still swaying to the music. Finally, we could hear the distant sound of a needle on a spinning record, but neither of us cared.
We were under some kind of spell.
We were staring into each other's eyes. I saw a glint of happiness in Erik's eyes. I knew he saw something similar in mine.
I don't know when it happened, but I felt our faces getting closer at some point.
Neither of us pulled away.
I felt Erik's lips on mine.
His lips were soft. They tasted like a mixture of chocolate and sweet red wine.
The kiss was calm. Each of us was uncertain in it. Despite this, with every second we lost ourselves in it.
After what seemed like a moment, we ran out of breath. We pulled away from each other.
For a moment, we met each other's eyes. I saw a confusion of emotions on Erik's face. I imagined, or did his cheeks turn pink?
He opened his mouth a few times to say something, but then he closed it immediately.
"I.." Erik cleared his throat. "I'll go make dinner."
He wanted to go to the kitchen when I called:
"Can I help you?" I asked automatically, nervously fixing a lock of hair. I stared at the floor.
"No...I can handle it- without waiting a moment longer, Erik disappeared from the living room.
I was left alone in the living room.
I raised my hand and touched my lips with my fingertips.
I couldn't believe that just a moment ago they were kissing Erik's lips.
Wait...
I kissed Erik.
I really kissed him!
Thousands of thoughts went through my head.
On legs like cotton wool, I sat stiffly on the couch.
I grabbed my hair at the base of my head with my hands and pulled it lightly.
What did I do?!
******
Notes:
*the first device that recorded and played sound was created in 1877, the first gramophone in 1887
The first device resembling telephones was created around 1857.
Since my story is not historically correct, let's assume that telephones were created later.
I will try to publish the next chapter next week.
Let me know in the comments if you liked this chapter.
Chapter 12: Chapter 12.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
*Christine
I closed the door behind me and threw myself on the bed.
I patted my cheeks with my hands.
What had I done?
I felt so many conflicting emotions that I thought I would explode.
The rest of the evening passed in stiff politeness.
During dinner, each of us was lost in our own thoughts.
Unable to bear the atmosphere between us any longer, I decided to go back to my room.
Explaining to Erik that I was tired, I quickly ran to my room.
I tried to analyze what had happened between us as thoroughly as possible.
Did Erik kiss me? Or did I kiss him?
Regardless of who kissed whom, the conclusion was the same... I had betrayed Raoul!
I felt a pang of guilt.
How could I do this to him? How could I allow such a situation to happen?
And most importantly... why did I wanted to repeat it?
Uhh... I groaned in despair into the pillow.
I am a terrible woman.
I closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them after a moment, my gaze went to the standing photo of my father. I reached for it. Then I grabbed it and pressed it to my chest. I pulled my legs up.
I wanted my father to be with me so much. He would know how to comfort me. What to do and say to cheer me up. He would help me understand what I was feeling.
I had to think about it all.
"I am a terrible, treacherous woman!" I screamed into the pillow, which fortunately muffled my scream.
***
*ErikI closed the door behind me and leaned against it.
I let out a deep breath.
No matter how hard I tried, I could only think about one thing.
A kiss.
It was like a dream.
I could still feel her sweet lips that tasted like chocolate.
I could still smell the sweet scent of Christine's perfume in my nostrils.
I felt joy. Sorrow. Love. Sadness.
Everything was mixed together.
I didn't know what to think about all of this.
The moment I felt her lips on mine, I thought I died. I died and somehow I found myself in paradise. I wanted to drown in her lips. I wanted that moment to last forever.
In that moment I was the happiest man in the world.
The woman I loved was kissing me!
We pulled away too quickly.
I saw a mixture of emotions on Christine's beautiful face. It was hard for me to guess what she was feeling.
I wanted to fall at her feet and confess my undying love.
Did Christine somehow return my feelings?
As quickly as that thought had sprouted in my head, I came back to earth.
Didn't Christine herself say that when she and Meg danced they always imagined their dream partners?
This time it had to be the same.
Christine lost herself in her dreams.
She probably imagined that she was dancing in Raoul's arms.
That's why that beautiful, dreamy smile was on her lips.
It wasn't meant for me, but for him.
That's why we kissed. Because she thought it was him.
I felt a squeeze in my heart.
Of course. I should have known that. I shouldn't have hoped that Christine's feelings for me would ever change.
For a monster like me, her friendship should be enough.
With the pain in my heart, I kicked the bed leg with all my might. For a moment, I could concentrate on the physical pain.
I kicked the bed leg a few more times until I fell defeated to the floor. I leaned my face forward, touching the floor with it. I clenched my hands into fists. I don't know when the first tear fell from my eyes.
***
Notes:
Let me know what do you think of the chapter.
Chapter 13: Chapter 13.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
*Christine
I lay awake all night thinking about that kiss.
I felt a pleasant warmth in my lower abdomen as I imagined what it would be like to kiss him again. To feel his soft lips on mine again...
After a while, however, my feelings changed. I felt guilt again, which was starting to eat me up.
I wanted to bring this up with Erik first thing in the morning. I didn't know what to say to him, but I felt that we had to talk about it.
That's why I was surprised when I got up that I was alone in Erik's house again. This time, taking my words to heart, he left me a short note that he had to take care of some important matter and that he would be back soon.
I bit my lip, sitting down at the table.
Is it because of yesterday's kiss?
Apart from yesterday, Erik never left me alone in his house.
Trying to clear my mind, I started preparing breakfast.
I promised myself I would talk to Erik about the kiss as soon as he got back.
**
"Erik, we need to talk"I said right after Erik crossed the threshold of his house.
He looked at me with a dejected gaze.
"Yes, we need to" he gestured for us to go to the living room.
Sitting on the couch, I adjusted the folds of my skirt, trying to gather my thoughts.
How should I start this conversation?
The moment I opened my mouth, Erik spoke:
"You're coming home today, Christine" he said calmly.
I blinked in surprise.
"Excuse me?" I asked, pulling my eyebrows together. I was sure I misheard.
I looked at him. I persistently tried to read something in his eyes.
Erik, just like yesterday, came home with a mask on his face. And although yesterday he took it off immediately, he didn't do it today. The mask covered his entire face. He was wearing a mask of which he said "I invented it so I could be around people. Look. No one would even pay much attention to me. I look like any other man in it"
I had to admit that he was right about that. At first glance, the mask looked like a normal face.
It was matched in color to Erik's skin tone. Above his eyes were drawn quite realistically thick eyebrows. The mask had a straight nose, from under which slightly curled black mustaches.
However, the longer I looked at it on Erik's face, the more I noticed that it was indeed just a mask.
A mask that remained impassive the whole time. Devoid of life.
I had a strange feeling as if at that moment Erik's eyes had also put on a mask. They also seemed so, so...devoid of the shine I had become accustomed to.
"You're going home today," he repeated, and my thoughts returned to the situation.
"B..but"I stammered, not knowing what to say"...why?"
"Just a moment, and I'll think you'd like to stay here"he tilted his head slightly. "I was in the city today, the riots died down, and as we both know, your leg is better now. I don't see the need for you to stay here any longer"he added nonchalantly, adjusting himself on the couch.
"I understand" I said quietly.
I wasn't going to argue with him. I didn't want to overstay his welcome. It wasn't appropriate for me to beg him to let me stay.
Silence fell between us.
I focused my gaze on the vase standing on the table.
I wandered over the floral patterns on it. At that moment, they seemed extremely interesting to me.
"Pack up and be ready by six o'clock- he said.
After his words, I felt Erik get up from the couch.
Hearing his footsteps, I looked at him furtively.
He walked forward towards his room.
**
I smoothed the bedspread with my hand.
Although I should have felt excited about seeing the faces I loved again, at that moment I felt sad.
I wondered if it was the situation with the kiss that made Erik tell me to go home.
Did he not feel anything? Did his feelings for me change?...
What was happening to me? Why did I care so much about what Erik felt for me?
Trying to think about something else, I looked around the room that I had recently started to consider mine.
I cleaned it up, putting everything in its place.
The room looked more or less the same as when I first moved in.
I was never going to enter that room again. I would never sit in front of the dressing table, never choose a dress from the closet, never sleep in that oh-so-comfortable bed again.
Erik had told me to pack earlier.
I put on the dress that Erik had given me just the day before. As I had suspected, it fit me perfectly.
On the dresser, there was a book by Jane Austen waiting for me, in which I had hidden a photo of my father.
None of the other things in the room really belonged to me. So for a long time, packed, I watched as the hands of the clock inevitably approached six o'clock.
A few minutes before six o'clock, I left the room.
Erik was already waiting for me.
He was wearing the same mask as before again. He was wearing a cape and a fedora on his head.
He glanced at me briefly.
It was hard to tell what he was thinking.
"Ready?" he asked, offering me his arm.
No, I wasn't ready. I didn't want to leave yet. I wasn't ready to part with Erik. But I couldn't tell him that.
That's why I forced a smile on my face that didn't reach my eyes and nodded slightly. I grabbed Erik by the arm.
**
With every step that brought us closer, brought me closer, to the exit from the opera, I felt my heart beating faster.
I didn't want to, I didn't feel ready to go back to my previous, normal life.
It was hard for me to believe and accept that maybe this was going to be the last time I would see Erik.
We were going to say goodbye and part ways. Forever.
Over the last two months, we had grown closer. We had become, in my opinion, even closer than when he was my maestro.
I felt that I could tell him everything. That he would understand me. He would listen. I felt that with him I could truly be myself...
I didn't even notice when the air became colder and fresher.
When I realized how close we were to the exit, I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down.
" In five minutes, the cabman I ordered will appear in front of the opera. He'll take you wherever you want "said Erik turning towards me.
He put the lantern he was holding on the ground.
I nodded.
I didn't know what to say. How to behave in our last moments together.
"Well... " Erik began after a moment "...it seems that our story has finally entered the right path, don't you think?"
Astonished by his words, I made an incomprehensible face.
"In every fairy tale, a beautiful princess marries the prince of her dreams, while the villain is left alone, defeated..."
"...Are you comparing our real life to a fairy tale?"
"Of course."
A quiet, nervous chuckle escaped my lips.
"I'm glad, we live in the real world, not in a fairy tale... Although I have to admit that if our story were really a fairy tale, it would be a downright revolutionary story " I laughed.
Instead of a princess, a singer. Instead of a prince, a vicomte. Instead of a villain, a man misunderstood by society...
"You know..."I became serious on my face, putting a strand of hair behind my ear "Erik, to me you were never a villain" I confessed.
I felt that Erik needed to hear these words.
Erik's lips parted slightly. He raised his gaze to me. In his eyes, which remained devoid of emotion, I saw a slight outline of disbelief.
"It's true, despite everything that happened between us, I never thought of you as a villain."
I was telling the truth.
Yes, there were moments when Erik scared me, but every time I tried to understand and explain his actions somehow.
I believed that he didn't do it because it gave him pleasure. Thanks to the opportunity to spend time with him, I had the opportunity to understand different situations from his perspective, which only confirmed my suspicions.
That Erik was never evil.
Unable to hold back, feeling that my words shook him, I hugged him.
Erik reacted automatically. At the moment of embrace, I felt his hands pulling me towards him.
He hugged me tightly, like never before.
I put my ear to his chest.
I could hear his heart beating faster.
The pleasant warmth I felt from Erik was replaced by a cold wind when we pulled away from each other.
"I have something for you," Erik said, searching through his pockets.
"This key opens this gate... if you..." he hesitated, "... if you ever need my help... just open this gate and walk forward. That way you'll get to my house," he said.
I had the impression that this key was a symbol. An expression of the fact that Erik trusted me. If he didn't, he wouldn't have given me the key that leads straight to his house.
And... Although I would never do that to him, it crossed my mind that by entrusting me with this key, he also somehow entrusted his fate into my hands.
All I had to do was hand the key over to the police, and they could easily break into Erik's house and detain him.
"Thank you. I'll watch over it, I promise," I said, taking the key from Erik's hand.
I pressed the key to my chest.
Erik smiled weakly.
"You should go now, Christine, it's better that the cabman doesn't see you leaving through that gate," Erik said.
"Oh..of course," I stammered, feeling a lump in my throat.
I won't cry. No way. I said to myself in my thoughts.
"Goodbye, my Christine," Erik said, enveloping me with his voice for the last time.
"Goodbye, Erik," I said, trying to sound normal.
After casting a last glance at Erik, who had hidden in the shadows, I turned towards the gate.
Taking a deep breath and exhaling, I forced myself to head towards the exit.
*****
Notes:
Hi, let me know in the comments if you liked this chapter.
I will try to publish a new chapter still in this year.
Chapter 14: Chapter 14.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
*Christine
I played nervously with my hands as I rode in the cab.
I was getting closer to home with every passing moment.
I felt conflicting emotions.
I was excited to see the beloved faces of Antonine and Meg Giry any minute now. How I missed them..!
Part of me also felt uncertain. How will they react to seeing me after two months of separation?
Finally, the cab stopped at the address I had given him.
As it turned out, Erik had paid the cab in advance, paying him for the longest possible route he could take.
I felt a warm feeling in my heart that Erik had thought of that.
I was ashamed to admit that I had no money with me.
On trembling legs, I got out of the cab. Wishing the cab a good evening, I headed for Madame Giry's apartment.
Madame Giry's apartment, where I moved after my father's death, was a ten-minute walk from the opera. It was a nice, quiet neighborhood.
Seeing the light from the living room through the window, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
For a moment I heard someone struggling with the door, and then finally... Madame Giry stood in front of me.
She hadn't changed at all. Her hair was combed into a crown as usual. She was wearing a black, home-made dress that she had started wearing since her husband died.
Madame Giry's face changed instantly.
The slight smile she greeted me with changed in a second to an expression of shock. Her eyes widened, and her mouth opened slightly into an "o" shape.
I could see how much her hand was shaking, the one she was holding the scarf she was wrapped in.
"My God," she gasped after a moment.
Without waiting a moment longer, I hugged her.
Madame Giry's arms surrounded me. With motherly concern she began to stroke my back.
"How is that possible? Where have you been all this time?" the woman asked, moving away from me.
She touched my cheek tenderly.
I saw tears welling up in her dark eyes.
"I'll tell you everything, but let's go inside first, okay?" I suggested.
Together with the still overwhelmed Madame Giry, we headed towards the living room.
**
We impatiently awaited Meg's return.
Meg, like the rest of the dancers, resumed their dance rehearsals. As I learned from Madame Giry, they all agreed that they couldn't afford to take a long break from dancing. Thanks to the acquaintance of our prima ballerina, Sorella, the girls were able to practice twice a week in a rented room in some small theater.
I also learned that Madame Giry had given up supervising the dancers, because her knee was bothering her persistently.
Finally, we seemed to hear the sound of a key hitting the lock of the door. The front door opened and Meg's voice reached our ears:
"I'm so glad I'm home. Sorelli's gone crazy, I tell you, Mom... She gave us such a hard time that I can't even feel my legs," saying this, she entered the living room with a crooked step.
As her voice came closer to us, I stood up.
Her gaze immediately fell on me.
Her eyes opened wide, as did her mouth.
She opened and closed them a few times, unable to get a word out.
After a moment, forgetting about the pain in her feet, she quickly ran towards me. She threw herself at me with such force that for a moment I thought she would knock us over.
"I knew it..." she gasped" I knew you were alive" saying this, she hugged me even tighter.
"Meg, I missed you so much" whispered into her curls.
We pulled away from each other. We both noticed that tears were lurking in our eyes.
"Where have you been? Do you know how worried we were about you?... The police.. they considered you d-dead " with a trembling voice she uttered the last words.
Her lip quivered dangerously.
"I was in good hands" I assured her, grabbing and squeezing her hand lightly "Believe me, I wanted to contact you, but it could have been risky. I apologize for this "I said, moving my gaze around the women.
"You have to tell me immediately what happened to you" she demanded, placing one hand on her hip, and raising the other in front of herself, waving a finger in front of my nose.
Meg's face assumed a serious expression.
" I'd like to know that too," Madame Giry said, stirring her tea with a spoon.
All three of us sat down on the couch.
Taking a deep breath, I told them everything.
From the moment Erik and I disappeared from the stage until we said goodbye. The only thing I kept to myself was our kiss on my birthday.
Both women were hanging on my every word. When I finished speaking, there was silence in the living room for a moment.
"And he just let you go?" Meg was the first to speak.
I nodded.
"...he's a madman...what certainty do you have that he'll keep his word?"
"Meg..."I took her hand in mine" I swear to you on my life, Erik has changed... Now he is..."I thought for a moment about the choice of words " Now he's a better man. "
Although my gaze was fixed on Meg, I saw Madame Giry pondering my words from the corner of my eye.
After a moment, Meg nodded slightly.
" The most important thing is that you're okay, honey. " Madame Giry said, stroking my arm " ...Girls, it's been a long and exciting day. I'm going to bed now " she got up from the couch and wished us a peaceful night, limping on one leg she headed towards her room.
" Oh, Christine, I have so much to tell you "Meg said when we were alone. She grabbed my hands "..but let me ask you first. Have you been to Raoul's yet? How did he react?"
Smiling at Meg's enthusiasm, I shook my head.
"I haven't been to see him yet. I wanted to see you first."
"You're lucky, I would be terribly angry with you if I found out you went to Raoul first," she said, teasing. "You absolutely have to see him tomorrow. Believe me. The last time I saw him, he was a wreck. He took it really hard."
After Meg's words, I felt negative thoughts starting to get to me again.
Poor Raoul...
Meg didn't let me think about him for too long, because after a moment, moving to our room, she started telling me about everything I had missed over the past two months.
**
With a beating heart, I approached the door to Raul's estate.
I knocked on the door with a shaking hand.
I took a step back.
A moment later, a young, petite girl dressed as a maid stood in the doorway. A few strands of her fair hair were escaping from under her cap. Large, green eyes were looking from under her eyelashes.
Her face was decorated with delicately scattered freckles.
She glanced at me briefly and then curtsied gently.
"How can I help you Madam?"
"Is Mr. Raul de Chagny at home?"
The young girl nodded. I smiled broadly.
"Yes, he is at home, but Mr. de Chagny is indisposed... he asked not to let anyone in." Her words made me a little gloomy.
"Please, could you make one small exception? It's very important..."
"I don't know..." I saw the torn face on the maid's face.
"Please. I'm Christine Daae, I'm Mr. de Chagny's fiancée."
Her eyes sparkled with interest. After a moment of silence, she said:
"Okay. Come in Madam...Wait in the vestibule, and I'll call Mr. de Chagny. - When I stopped at the aforementioned place, the girl was climbing the stairs, pulling up her skirt slightly.
When she entered, she disappeared from my sight.
After a moment, a muffled sound of a chair being pushed away abruptly could be heard from upstairs, and then something falling to the floor. After that, I heard the sound of footsteps.
Looking up the stairs, I saw Raoul rushing towards them.
At the sight of me, he stopped dead at the very top of the stairs. His face expressed disbelief. After a moment, he began to run down the steps.
Before I knew it, Raoul was just within arm's reach. Before I could react, Raoul grabbed me in his arms and began to spin us around.
An uncontrollable giggle escaped my lips.
When Raoul put me down on the ground, I could finally get a better look at him.
His blond hair was longer than I remembered.
Always carefully combed, now it stuck out tangled in every direction.
His face was covered with a beard.
His skin had taken on a slightly dull shade. There were bags under his eyes. He looked as if he hadn't slept well for a long time.
"Christine," he said, looking at me tenderly.
All my thoughts evaporated from my head. Everything I wanted to tell him had been forgotten by me.
He was here! I really was standing face to face with him. Until now I hadn't realized how much I missed him.
Raoul's gaze scanned my entire body. He lingered longer with his gaze on the still unhealed scar from the burn. I began to doubt whether this scar would heal.
Under his intense gaze on the burn, I felt embarrassed. I knew that Raoul meant no harm, but under his gaze I wanted to hide the scar.
I cleared my throat slightly, and Raoul moved his gaze to my eyes.
"How is that possible...?" without finishing the sentence, I knew what Raoul wanted to say.
I told him the whole situation in general. That Erik saved me. That he bandaged me and took care of me.
Raoul listened to my words with contempt when I mentioned Erik.
"Good God... it must have been a nightmare," he said when I finished speaking. He gently lifted my hand to his lips and placed a kiss on it. "You were brave, Little Lotte."
"It wasn't that bad, Raoul," I denied, shaking my head slightly. "When I was with him, Erik changed."
"Nonsense, little Lotte. It was all just a masquerade. That monster is good at it. But you're safe now," he said, pulling me closer to him.
There was no point in convincing Raoul. He strongly believed his own version that I had spent the last two months under severe trauma.
"Is that monster still in the opera?" Feeling uneasy with this question, I answered evasively.
"I don't think so..." I said. I didn't want to lie to Raoul, but I felt subconsciously that I couldn't confess the truth.
Raoul cursed quietly under his breath. I raised an eyebrow in surprise, because I had never heard such words come out of Raoul's mouth.
" It doesn't matter... I'm sure that monster didn't manage to hide far. We just have to go to the police and testify about him. " Raoul grabbed my hand, as if he was ready to go to the police with me at that moment.
I pulled my hand away from him slightly, stunned.
"To the police? Testify?"
"Of course, we can't let that monster walk free. I won't let him haunt you again " said Raoul, taking my hand again.
" Raoul, it's nice that you're worried about me, I really appreciate it " I said, touching his overgrown beard with my free hand. " But I won't go to the police, I won't report him."
Raoul's eyes narrowed slightly.
" Why is that?"
"How could I report someone I owe my life to? If it weren't for him, Raoul, I wouldn't be here now "I said firmly.
"Well, if it wasn't for him, your life wouldn't have had to be saved. Have you already forgotten that he started the fire?"
"No, I haven't "I said quietly "..but don't try to shift all the blame onto him. You and I also contributed to this."
" I don't recall you or me dropping the chandelier on innocent people."
"But if you hadn't forced me to take part in that cruel plan, and I hadn't taken part in it in the end, everything could have turned out differently..."
"So you want to put the blame on me now? "Raoul raised his voice.
" No "I denied quickly " ... I just want to say that each of us made such and not another decision, which ended with those events... "I took a deep breath "But the truth remains the same, if he hadn't found me then, I would have been dead. So let me repay him by letting him live."
Raoul's angry gaze softened a little.
"And that's why I love you, little Lotte," he finally said with a small smile on his face, "you're too good for your own good."
He hugged me, resting his chin on my head.
I smiled slightly, feeling like I had won our argument.
Raoul's arms wrapped around me tenderly, and I breathed in the familiar scent into my nostrils.
******
Notes:
I would like to wish each and every one of you a Happy New Year <3
Chapter 15: Chapter 15.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
*Christine
I stood against the wall sipping champagne.
I watched the people around me.
Every one of them was deep in conversation. Here and there young ladies were discussing their outfits, while others were sharing the latest gossip.
Elsewhere, young bachelors were having more or less casual conversations with young ladies under the watchful eyes of their mothers.
It was noisy everywhere.
I tried in vain to spot Raoul in the crowd.
The party I was at was organized by his sister, Genevieve*. Raoul had invited me some time ago on behalf of his sister. At first I wanted to refuse, but after a while, at Raoul's urging, I agreed.
I had expected that a party organized for the upper classes might be different from the ones I was used to, organized by the opera. I just didn't expect it to feel so different.
I felt like an intruder.
I didn't fit in.
The furtive glances sent my way confirmed my belief that they thought similarly.
"I don't believe it," at the sound of the voice next to me, I jumped slightly. "It's really you."
I turned towards the voice.
A blonde woman a head taller than me stood next to me. Her hair was elegantly tied up. She was wearing a pink dress, decorated with beautiful hand-made embroidery.
The young woman smiled radiantly.
"Excuse me, do we know each other?" I asked embarrassedly, quickly leafing through my memories.
"My name is Eugénie de Durand, I'm a big fan of yours. I was lucky enough to watch you play both Margaret and Amity... I have to say," she added after a moment, "that you inspired me to take singing lessons... Of course, my singing is not as good as yours, and neither is my teacher..." she stopped suddenly. Her eyes widened slightly and she covered her mouth with her hand. "Excuse me. Raoul mentioned that it was quite a sensitive topic... I didn't want to bring up unpleasant memories... "I saw a shadow of worry on her serene face.
"Do you know Raoul? " I asked, surprised.
"Of course, our parents have been friends forever. Raoul and I have known each other since childhood."
I knew Raoul for so long, and he never mentioned this girl.
" I am very sorry, but I have to say hello to someone. Once again, I am very glad that I could meet you " just as unexpectedly as she appeared, she disappeared.
After a moment I noticed a familiar figure approaching me. Raoul.
" Are you having fun? " he asked, kissing my forehead.
" Yes "I replied, not wanting to offend him.
"I am sorry that I could not spend more time with you earlier... the duties of the host " he said, making a pained face.
" It's okay, don't worry about it. I understand" I said touching his hand.
Raoul gave me a big smile.
We talked for a while when his sister Genevieve approached us.
"There you are" saying this she stood next to Raoul.
She moved her gaze to me. She assessed my appearance. She wrinkled her nose slightly.
"Christine, what a surprise" she said with exaggerated joy in her voice"I wasn't expecting you."
I froze. How come...? Raoul mentioned that I was invited by her.
"You have to help me. We'll have to take the guests to the main attraction of the evening soon." she turned to Raoul
Raoul sighed quietly under his breath.
"It was nice to see you Christine"throwing a sweet smile she walked away from us.
"You said that your sister invited me" I took up the subject as soon as we were alone" For someone who invited me, she looked surprised by my presence..." I gave Raoul a sharp look.
"Okay, I admit, I invited you. Genevive had no idea about it" I opened my mouth to say something when he quickly added"..But it's almost as if she invited you. We are siblings, and this, as she insists, is our joint party" he emphasized.
I looked at Raoul with a languid expression.
Before either of us could say anything, we were interrupted by a clap of hands.
I looked in that direction. It was Genevive standing on the step, waiting for all the guests to pay attention to her.
"My dears, I invite everyone to head to the garden" she said, drawing out each word slightly. She gave everyone a broad smile, then gracefully stepped down from the step and headed towards the garden.
Grabbing Raoul's offered arm, we both followed the rest of the guests to the garden.
**
The aforementioned attraction of the evening turned out to be the wonderful acrobatic, illusionistic and musical shows.
Each artist did a wonderful job.
We waited with bated breath for the last show.
Several people entered the makeshift stage. A few people were holding long sticks in the shape of the letter x, two others were holding a medium-sized stick. Each end of the stick was lit on fire.
The performers on stage were gently swinging their sticks, setting the fire in motion.
Halfway through the performance, a few more people came to the front of the stage.
They were swinging their sticks faster, as were the people on stage. At one point, one man put the fire to his face, and a large jet of fire came out of his mouth.
I took a step back.
I heard shouts of surprise and applause behind me.
The movements of the circus performers began to become bolder. They began to approach the crowd of cheering people.
I couldn't catch my breath.
The fire was moving right in front of my nose.
I wanted to escape from there, but I couldn't force my body to obey.
I was trapped.
I didn't know what to do.
The world around me began to spin.
"Christine? " I heard Raoul's voice from somewhere in the distance.
I wanted to turn towards him, to speak, but I couldn't.
I barely felt Raoul's hands wrap around my waist. He started to lead me somewhere, but I couldn't see anything in front of me. My vision was blurry.
I was shaking.
"Christine, can you hear me? Breathe " I could still hear Raoul's voice from the distance.
I was panicking, unable to catch my longed-for breath.
It was squeaking in my ears.
I squeezed my eyelids shut, unable to bear it.
...
"Breathe, Christine. Repeat my movements, okay? Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Everything is fine, my dear. You are safe. You know that nothing will happen to you with me, right?" Erik's voice enveloped me.
I didn't want to wonder where he had come from. Nothing else mattered to me, except that Erik was with me. He was talking to me. He was calming me down. Although it took a while, I gradually calmed down. I breathed on Erik's advice.
When I finally calmed down, I opened my eyes.
How surprised I was when I saw the face of a worried Raoul in front of me.
My imagination was playing tricks on me. Erik wasn't here.
...Of course, how could he be here?
"You see, little Lotte, you did it," Raoul smiled radiantly.
Only now did I notice that he was holding both of my cheeks, gently stroking them.
I tried to smile.
"I'm sorry. If I had known you would react like this, I would never have let my sister rent them."
I could see the remorse on his face.
"Don't worry about it, Raoul. How could you know?" I touched his shoulder.
"I'm sorry. I probably caused a scene," I hung my head down.
What must all these people have thought of me?
"Are you really worried about that now? Because I can't think about anything else but the fact that you just had a panic attack."
We sat in silence for a moment, hugging each other.
"Raoul?" I moved away from him and added, "I'd like to go home."
"So soon?"
"Yes, I can't imagine staying until the end of the party."
"Okay...Jean," he called to the servant who was walking towards the garden with a tray of food. The servant stopped. "Could you please bring a coat for my fiancée and me?"
The servant nodded and disappeared from our sight.
"Raoul, you're here, I saw you suddenly disappear during the performance..." Raoul's sister entered the living room where we were.
"Christine felt worse." Raoul said.
"Oh, yes..."she said thoughtfully, shifting her gaze to me.
"I'll take her home." Raoul added.
Genevive perked up.
"You can't. We're about to make a toast. In our family, it's a tradition for the count to do it. Philippe got out of it by doing business, so this honor fell to you as the viscount. You can't leave now. Just think of the light this will put our family in..."
Raoul wanted to say something when I spoke up.
"Raoul. You don't have to take me home, I can handle it myself" interrupted.
I didn't want Raoul to leave the party because of me. Especially since I saw how outraged it made his sister.
Raoul thought for a moment, then nodded.
"Okay, I'll stay," he said, looking at his sister.
Happy she clapped her hands.
"So I'll see you in the dining room in a moment. "she turned to leave. At the door she turned - It was nice to have you Christine."
"Are you sure you'll manage? "he asked looking at me carefully.
" I'm sure "I confirmed.
Raoul gently brushed my hair away from my face.
"Mr. Viscount, here are the coats you asked for "servant Jean entered the living room with the coats.
" Thank you Jean, but plans have changed. All we need is a coat for Miss Daae "he took my coat from Jean
"Could you ask Susanne to escort my fiancée home?"
"Of course Mr. Viscount "Jean left the living room with Raoul's coat.
"Is that necessary? "I asked as Raoul helped me put on my coat.
" I'll be calmer knowing that you'll get home safe, little Lotte"
"Let's go, let's not keep Susanne waiting " we left the living room.
This Susanne turned out to be the maid who opened the door for me over a week ag
After saying a fond farewell to Raoul, we set off.
On the way we talked a little. Susanne turned out to be a very nice person.I learned that she comes from a large family. Her parents died, leaving her seven younger siblings in her care. In order to be able to feed them, she took a job at the de Chagny estate four years ago.
When she made sure that I was standing at the door of the house, she bowed gently in farewell, then turned back while I went inside.
**
"Christine? You are home already? " Meg entered our shared room.
"Yea.."I shrugged, closing the Jane Austen book I had started reading.
"What happened? "Meg sat down by my bed.
She stared at me with excitement.
I told her what had happened at the party. That I had a panic attack. I also mentioned to her that it was thanks to the imaginary Erik that I had managed to calm down.
Meg listened to my every word with interest.
"Think about what that says about me!" I mumbled into the pillow. "I didn't calm down thanks to my fiancé, but thanks to the false image my mind had given me. I am the worst fiancée in the world, and then there was that kiss..." I buried my head in the pillow.
"Wait, wait...what kiss?" I froze at Meg's words.
How could I mention it?
I wanted to get out of it somehow, but under Meg's gaze I told her everything. About the kiss, and about the emotions it had evoked in me.
"I think you know what it means, you just don't want to admit it to yourself..." she said with a mysterious smile.
I gave her a surprised look.
"Think about it" she perked up and adjusted herself on the bed " In your worst moment, when you couldn't think straight and calm down, your mind suggested the soothing voice of your Angel of Music, thanks to him you were able to calm down. To me, that means you have feelings for him."
"Of course it is, Erik is my friend."
" Friend or something more? " Meg's eyebrows rose playfully "Think about it. It was thanks to Erik that you calmed down, not thanks to Raoul. And... forgive me, but when you described your kiss with Erik you were literally glowing, and when you described the kiss with Raoul you seemed... almost ordinary? "she concluded "Oh, don't be offended by me, I'm just telling you my observations " she added at the sight of my face.
..I love Erik?
It's impossible.
I loved Raoul.
I fell in love with him at first sight, when he saved my red scarf as a boy.
Plus...he was a handsome, well-mannered man.
He always knew what to say and when to say it.
I knew that with Raoul I could live a good life.
A life without music, a sneaky voice in my head told me.
Two months ago, I was ready to leave this world. The world of opera. It didn't seem like a big sacrifice to me when I was supposed to have Raoul as my husband.
But...
The last two months have made me realize that I wouldn't live the rest of my life without music. I couldn't suffocate if I couldn't sing for an audience.
I missed it so much.
Every cell in my body was pulling me to sing, or at least play an instrument.
And...today it hit me that all those aristocratic people will never accept me. Today's party showed it clearly. I could feel their stares and whispers about me.
With Erik, you could spend the rest of your lives lost in music, I heard that little voice again.
What did I really feel for Erik?
Yes, I valued his friendship.
I appreciated how devotedly he took care of me when I was unable to do basic things on my own.
And, although I admitted it reluctantly, over the course of two months, I wondered several times what my life with Erik could look like.
What had seemed like the worst nightmare to me on the night of Don Juan, did not seem so terrible to me over the weeks we spent together.
With Erik I could be sure that I could count on him in every situation. He respected my opinion. I knew that he respected me, and that he had such deep feelings for me that at one time it scared me.
Meg was right.
Kissing him stirred more emotions in me than any kiss with Raoul before.And... that warmth in my stomach that I felt near Erik... I hadn't felt it with Raoul for so long.
I recalled all the situations I had experienced with Erik, as well as with Raoul.
I remembered what exactly I had felt with each of them.
After, I don't know how long, I opened my eyes wide.
"I... I love him."I looked up at Meg, who smiled broadly at me in response.
******
Notes:
Let m know what do you think of the chapter
* In the book Gaston Leroux wrote that Raoul has sisters. However, He do not give their names. That is why in my story I decided to call her Genevieve.
Chapter 16: Chapter 16.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
*Christine
"Ready, little Lotte?" Raoul's voice tore me from my reverie.
"For what? "I asked distractedly.
Raoul laughed under his breath, sending me a gentle look.
"What do you mean? To talk to the priest, of course - Raoul gently stroked my hand with his thumb.
The smile on my face diminished.
"Raoul..."
There was a bustle around us.
All the people were just leaving Madeline's cathedral.
I couldn't concentrate during the entire mass.
I had been stressed since morning about seeing Raoul again.
That day I planned to break off my engagement with him.
I had no idea how I was supposed to do it.
When Raoul came to Madame Giry's house before noon to go to mass with us, as we had agreed, I didn't know how I was supposed to behave.
When Raoul leaned in to kiss me in greeting, I turned my head so that his lips met my cheek.
Embarrassed, I moved away from Raoul then, meeting Meg's supportive gaze, as well as a certain surprise from Madame Giry.
Not wanting to drag this moment out, I briskly began walking towards the cathedral, which was only a few streets away from the house.
During mass, I tried hard to think of a way to break off the engagement.
Hearing that Raoul wanted to go to the priest, I panicked.
"Raoul.." I took a deep breath. "We have to talk about something."
"Of course we do. We have a whole wedding to plan," he said, cheering up.
"I..." I swallowed, "about another topic."
"Can't we talk about this after we talk to the priest? I'm sure it can wait."
I denied it.
I could see the conflict on Raoul's face. Finally, however, he agreed to talk to me.
Since we were in a public place as well as in God's house, I suggested that we talk at Madame Giry's house.
Raoul was going to go home with us anyway, since he had been invited by Madame Giry for tea some time ago.
I gave him a small, uncertain smile.
Taking Raoul's offered arm, I left the cathedral.
God, give me strength.
**
We sat on the couch in silence.
We were alone in the house.
Meg dragged her mother out of the house, making the excuse that she absolutely had to buy a new pair of gloves. Madame Giry, albeit reluctantly, left us alone in the house.
I was grateful to Meg for having managed to convince her mother to go. I couldn't imagine having this conversation, knowing that just behind the wall, Madame and Meg could hear every word I said.
I nervously played with my fingers. It was a kind of nervous trick of mine.
"Christine, I'm starting to worry. What's going on?" Raoul asked.
He gently took my hands in his.
I looked up at him. He was looking at me worriedly.
I took a deep breath.
Spit it out.
"I... I can't marry you," I finally blurted out.
Without releasing my hands from his grip, Raoul shifted slightly on the couch.
A frown appeared on his face.
For a moment he looked as if he didn't believe me, and then a smile appeared on his face, as if I had told a joke.
"Really, a delicious joke, little Lotte," he said with an amused expression on his face. "Now tell me what this is really about."
"That's it, Raoul. I can't marry you," I repeated.
Seeing my seriousness on my face, Raoul's smile disappeared from his face.
His eyebrows drew closer together.
"He's coming after you again, isn't he? Is he blackmailing you? I won't let him. I'll find him and kill him," he said, squeezing his hands tighter on mine.
"What? No... Raoul... It's not like that.."
"You deny it because you're intimidated by him. But don't worry, he'll pay for it," he said firmly, taking one of my hands to place a kiss on it.
"Raoul. Listen to me," I said, lightly pulling my hands out of his grip.
I took a deep breath.
"I can't marry you," I repeated firmly. "It wouldn't be fair to you. I...I recently understood my feelings" I laughed nervously " I understood that what I feel for you...these are the feelings one has towards a dear friend...to a brother " at the last words Raoul flinched.
"You deserve someone who will give you sincere, deep feelings. I used to think that someone was me, but... "Raoul's shoulders were slightly hunched. I gently reached out my hand to touch him, when he jumped up from the couch as if I was going to at least burn him.
"Christine, spare me this sad discourse" said Raoul in a voice full of emotion. He turned his back to me, trying to calm down. After a moment he turned to me, saying " I can't believe it...How stupid I was. I was ready to stain my family's good name for you. " he said, agitated.
I straightened up on the couch.
He laughed. It was a laugh full of despair and anger.
"You blinded me. " he threw it at me " I was ready to go against my brother's will. Against my social status, wanting to marry someone as lowly as you. And you... You took advantage of it. Tell me, did you want to promote yourself on my name? Was that your plan? " he raised his voice.
I blinked, shocked by his words.
"What? Of course not. How can you say that? " I asked desperately, getting up from the couch.
I wanted to go to him and explain everything to him, but something in Raoul's gaze made me stop halfway.
"You're right... " he said slowly after a moment, tilting his head. He was looking at me the whole time. " Everything was fine until that fire broke out. Your behavior has changed since you came back. This is about that monster, right? " I saw a shadow of hope in his gaze. Hope that my behavior was actually due to fear of Erik.
I hated myself for having to crush his hope into a thousand pieces.
"Please, don't call him that" I started." You're right. It's partly about Erik. About my feelings for him..."
Raoul's gaze changed. In the blink of an eye, it became icy. He looked at me, disgusted.
"You...choose him?"he asked in disbelief." Him?!"
"Raoul, let me explain..."he interrupted me.
He laughed, without an ounce of joy.
I shuddered.
"No. Enough. Little Lotte. I understand everything... Tell me, does the thought of having his face between your legs turn you on? Does it turn you..." he didn't finish.
Crack.
I saw Raoul's look of complete disbelief as he massaged his cheek.
All shaking, I felt a burning sensation in my right hand.
I don't even know when I got close to Raoul. I didn't register the moment my hand went up.
For a moment, all I could hear was our quickened breaths.
"How can you talk to me like that?"I felt a lump in my throat as I said those words. I clenched my fists.
"I..."he started, but fell silent.
"Get out of here. "I said.
Raoul didn't move from his spot.
"Raoul. Get out of here. " I repeated the order.
Without waiting a moment, Raoul turned and headed towards the exit.
He didn't stop on the threshold, he didn't glance at me one last time.
He left. Just like that.
After a moment I heard the door slam.
While being alone, I let my emotions get the better of me.
I let out a deep breath.
The moment I slid to the floor, the first tears flowed from my eyes.
**
"Christine!" I felt a small hand touch me.
Meg.
I looked up at her with a pained gaze.
"Was it that bad? " she asked, concerned.
I nodded.
She hugged me. She gently stroked my hair as I began to sob in her arms.
"Can one of you explain to me what happened here?" I heard Madame Giry's voice behind me.
Fighting back tears, I said:
"I broke off my engagement with Raoul," I said without breaking away from Meg.
"Excuse me?"
"I had to do it... It wouldn't be fair to him. I don't love him," I said, calming myself down. I moved away from Meg.
I wiped my tears with the tip of my finger.
As usual, under Madame Giry's steely expression, it was hard for me to guess her thoughts.
"It's true, mom, she loves Erik," Meg added, for which I nudged her with my elbow.
I looked at Meg accusingly, to which she made an innocent face, raising her hands in surrender.
Confused, Madame Giry sank onto the couch. She touched her temple with her hand.
"I don't quite understand...I thought Erik scared you..?"
"That was the case at first, but the last two months spent with him allowed me to get to know him better and understand him...I think that this feeling appeared when I only knew his voice...I wanted to drown it out when Erik revealed himself. I felt betrayed then and didn't want to know him. By a twist of fate, Raoul appeared in my life again..." I paused for a moment." He appeared so unexpectedly. Raoul reminded me of the joyful years of my childhood, when my father was still alive. We were so happy and in love then as children...When I saw him again, I was convinced that this feeling had come back to life. I was certain that what I felt for him was love...But now I know I was wrong."
Madame Giry didn't say a word for a moment, her gaze flickering between me and Meg every now and then.
"My child, are you sure about your feelings for Erik?"
I nodded.
"I've never been so sure about anything."
I saw a shadow of a smile on Madame Gira's usually serious face.
"I'm glad, Erik deserves a little happiness in life. I believe you can give it to him."
"I would like to see him so much, but I'm afraid..."I confessed after a moment.
"Afraid? Of what?"Meg asked.
"When we last saw each other, he sent me back to you, home. He did it so suddenly. I'm afraid that his feelings for me have changed..." I was afraid that after our kiss, Erik didn't feel anything. That that was why he sent me back.
"As for Erik, I'm sure of one thing. His feelings for you are so strong that nothing, ever, will be able to change them" the older woman summed up.
I looked at her with hope in my eyes.
"Do you think so, Madame? "I asked, suddenly feeling like a little girl who needed her parents' approval.
Madame Giry nodded.
I couldn't help the smile that was creeping onto my lips.
"Christine, you should go to him. Talk to him and confess your feelings to him " said Meg, squeezing my hand with emotion.
I looked out the window.
Although my heart wanted to see Erik as soon as possible, I decided to hold off. I wanted to think about everything I wanted to confess to him.
"Tomorrow. "I decided, looking at both women. I smiled " I'll do it tomorrow."
****
Notes:
Hi,
I would like to apologize for the delay of the chapter.This is the pre-last chapter of "The choices we made".
I will try to publish the last chapter next week.
Please let me know if you liked the chapter.
Chapter 17: Chapter 17
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
* Christine
The Opera Garier was just a stone's throw away.
Meg happily chirped the whole way, saying she was happy for me and that she was rooting for us.
Her company cheered me up.
Too soon, however, we parted ways. Meg set off to rehearse the dance, and I discreetly approached the forgotten gate, from Rue Scribe.
I squeezed the key that Erik had given me in my hand.
After making sure that there were no people around me, I quickly inserted the key into the lock and turned it.
I pressed the handle, opening the gate. This was accompanied by a loud creaking of the gate.
I quickly entered, locking the gate behind me with the key.
I looked ahead, towards the dark corridor.
I took a battery-powered flashlight from my small bag*.
The light scattered thanks to it was small, but I preferred it to nothing.
I set off.
**
I got lost.
All the roads looked the same.
I stopped, trying to guess which corridor I should go next. The road in front of me was splitting in two directions.
"Just keep going forward" Erik's words came to mind.
I thought sarcastically that Erik's advice would be of no use to me.
At some point I got goosebumps.
I felt someone's eyes on me.
I held my breath.
Slowly I turned my head.
I raised the flashlight a little higher, squinting my eyes.
I gasped in terror when I saw someone's silhouette in the shadow of the corridor.
My heart jumped into my throat.
I stepped back abruptly.
Unfortunately, the hand I was holding the flashlight with hit the wall. The impact caused the flashlight to slip out of my hand, hitting the ground with a loud clang. I felt one of the flashlight's batteries bounce off my shoe.
Panicked, I waited for the figure in the shadows to move.
If I scream, will Erik hear me?
"C-Christine?" I let out a deep breath, hearing a familiar voice.
"Erik?" I asked uncertainly.
I've never felt such relief hearing his voice.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I wanted to see you," I said.
Erik didn't answer. When the silence began to drag on, I began to worry that he had abandoned me.
"E-erik?" I cried, feeling terrified at the thought that he had left me alone in this dark place.
I groped in front of me, trying to catch him.
My hand met Erik's torso. With my cheeks slightly flushed, I withdrew my hand.
At almost the same moment, Erik's hands wrapped around mine.
"I'm here," he whispered.
"For a moment I thought you had abandoned me," I confessed quietly.
"Never. I would never leave you " he said in a gentle but firm tone.
I felt warmth in my heart after his words.
"Why did you want to see me?"
"To talk."
"Would you mind if we talked at my house? "he asked.
Answering that I didn't mind,Erik gently lowered my hand.
Still holding his own in it, he began to lead me.
**
I was sitting on the couch in the living room, in Erik's underground house.
Taking advantage of the moment of solitude, I looked around the room.
During my stay at Erik's house, he always took care of order in his apartment, which is why I was very surprised to notice the state of the living room.
Many things were scattered everywhere.
"Your tea " Erik put the tea he had prepared for me on the table.
"Thank you."
"What did you want to talk to me about? " he asked, sitting down in the armchair opposite me.
I thought he felt awkward, because he sat down very stiffly in the armchair.
I looked at him.
His half-white mask returned to his face.
I could see great tiredness on the exposed part of his face. His eyes were bloodshot, as if he hadn't slept for at least a few days. His pale complexion seemed even more devoid of color.
His clothes were also different from what I was used to. I always saw Erik in full attire, as if he was always ready to find himself at any moment in some excellent social gathering. He was always dressed neatly and very elegantly.
Now, the man sitting in front of me was dressed only in a white, crumpled shirt, which he had tucked into his pants haphazardly.
Wanting to occupy my hands with something, I reached for the steaming cup.
"I broke off my engagement with Raoul," I finally confessed.
I looked up at Erik.
"Why?"he asked after a moment, adjusting himself in the chair.
"I realized that I don't love him"I said truthfully.
It was hard for me to read anything in his face.
"You came here...to tell me that you broke off the engagement?"
I nodded.
"I... "I hesitated" I understood that my heart belongs to someone else." Saying this I looked at him from under my eyelashes.
"I still don't understand why you came here... Are you afraid that I could hurt you? Did you come to beg the monster for mercy?" The cold tone of his voice made me shiver.
His face still didn't express any emotion.
"No Erik. I came here because I understood that this person is you... It's you I love," I confessed focusing my gaze on him.
"What did you say?" he asked in a distant tone.
"I love you, Erik."
Erik sat still for a moment, then abruptly stood up from the armchair.
He walked over to the unlit fireplace.
"No," he said, clutching his head in his hands.
He was thinking intensely about something.
"Erik?"I asked worriedly.
Putting the cup of steaming tea on the table, I approached Erik. Although I really wanted to touch him, I stopped a few steps away from him.
"You can stop pretending now, Christine. I know that soldiers will burst in here any moment, led by the viscount. I know that you were supposed to distract me..."
before I could react to his words, he added" You can rest assured, I won't try to escape...Please, just spare me those words..."
I blinked, surprised by his words.
"What are you talking about Erik? What soldiers?"
"The ones you work with."
I couldn't breathe.
He thought...he thought that I was taking part in some kind of ambush?
"Y-you...you think that I...that it's an ambush?"overwhelmed,I took a step back.
Erik didn't answer, but I saw in his gaze that he was really convinced of it.
I looked at him with a pained gaze.
"I swear to you, this is not an ambush. I swear. it"I added, emphasizing the last word. "From the moment I returned, I did everything to ensure your safety. I lied to the police. I convinced them that you were dead."
In the first days after my return, a policeman came to Madame Giry's apartment. He questioned me about that night. I couldn't let them reach Erik, so I made up a story, sticking to the real events.
I told how Erik, after saving me from the fire, suffered from the fire himself. That as a result of the burns, he died a few days after the fire.
I remember that the policeman was extremely pleased with my testimony.
"You did what?" Erik's incredulous voice pulled me out of my memories " Why did you risk so much?"
"I wanted to ensure your safety. It was the only way they would leave you alone"
"Christine...I don't know what to say..."
I waited for him to make a move.
I wanted him to come to me, take me in his arms, look deep into my eyes and confess his love.
But the man standing before me remained unmoved.
I realized that this must mean that I shouldn't have come here. Erik's feelings had changed.
I felt shame flood my body.
I shifted from one foot to the other.
"I...should go back. I've abused your hospitality enough. "I said awkwardly.
The moment I wanted to leave the living room, I felt Erik's hand gently tighten on my wrist.
Shocked, I turned my gaze to it, then looked at Erik's face.
"Please, don't go. " he said tenderly.
"If you really feel what you said about me, then I beg you, don't leave me " he brushed a strand of hair away from my face with a trembling hand.
I looked at him with determination.
"I love you" I repeated.
I carefully touched his exposed cheek.
Erik nestled his cheek in my hand. He closed his eyelids.
I was overcome with doubt again. Although Erik asked me to stay, I still haven't heard those important words from his lips.
I bit my lip out of nerves.
"And you..?"I asked in a tense voice.
Feeling like I made an idiot of myself, I removed my hand from the man's cheek, simultaneously lowering my gaze.
I felt bile rise in my throat.
I wanted to remind him that I should go, when I felt Erik lift my chin up.
"Your words brought me such great joy that for a moment I was lost in my own thoughts" he moved his hand to my cheek, gently stroking it. " Of course I love you, Christine. Nothing in this world could make my feelings change. " he stared at me intensely.
His words, his gaze made me feel like a huge weight was lifted from my heart in an instant.
Erik still loved me.
Smiling broadly, I felt tears running down my cheeks.
"Christine? What happened? Did I say something wrong? " he asked panicked, brushing my tears away with his thumb.
I shook my head.
"It's from happiness, Erik," I said. "I cry from happiness."
On the spur of the moment, I stood on my toes, approaching him.
A quiet sigh escaped Erik's lips when our lips met.
Our kiss was slow, full of uncertainty and love. We both tried to find a common rhythm.
We pulled away from each other when we ran out of air.
Trying to calm our breaths, Erik bowed his head a little so that our foreheads touched.
The warmth I had felt from Erik until that moment was half replaced by his porcelain mask.
"May I?" I asked, pulling away slightly. I extended my hand towards his mask.
For a split second, I saw hesitation in Erik's eyes, but he nodded.
Slowly, my hand met his mask.
I gently grabbed it and pulled it up. Holding it in my hand, I placed it on the mantelpiece.
I looked back at Erik.
His face looked irritated. It was flushed.
"Erik"smiling sadly, I touched the deformed part of his face with my fingertips.
Making sure that my touch was not harming him, I began to examine his face.
Under my fingertips, I could feel that in some places his face was smooth, and in other places rough. Here and there, I could also feel scars under my fingers.
I heard Erik hold his breath when, holding his face in my hands, I suddenly approached and placed a gentle kiss on his deformity.
I repeated this action, placing kisses on his face over and over again.
At some point, I felt a salty liquid on my lips.
Surprised, I looked up, noticing tears flowing from Erik's eyes.
We sank to the floor.
"No one has ever... Oh, Christine... no emperor has ever received such a gift. No man has experienced greater joy and emotion than I do now " Erik confessed in a voice tense with emotion. He wrapped his trembling hands around my hands.
" You are music... beautiful music... and you are life to me... "under the influence of emotion, the words of one of our duet flowed out of me "You are music... beautiful music... and you are life to me.**"
It was the first time since the fire that I sang.
My voice still left much to be desired, but I couldn't imagine not singing these words to him.
It was one of our first duets.
Erik transformed our ritual warm-up into a duet.
I saw surprise in his eyes when I started singing.
When I finished singing, Erik leaned his face towards mine, and to my great joy, he connected our lips.
When we pulled away from each other, I hugged him.
Erik eagerly pulled me towards him.
Laying my head on his chest, I could hear his heart beating.
I smiled broadly.
Here, in his arms, I felt safe like never before.
I felt cared for, loved.
I wanted to stay in his arms until the end of my life.
*****
Notes:
* The first flashlights were invented in 1899.
** The song that Christine sings is the song "You are music reprise" from the musical Phantom - Yeston & Kopit.
This was the last chapter of " The choices we made"
I would like to thank all of you for the kudos and your comments. It really motivated me to write.
If you liked my story, I would like to invite you to following me. In near future I plan to post a new story, also with Erik and Christine.
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