Chapter Text
Veneer was sick of his sister's shit.
He was so so so tired of repeating the same stuff.
And now he was possibly becoming a felon.
He'd cry and cry about it, and realized he had a way out. He could get therapy for his depression soaring through some wild heights. He could do literally anything else as well.
Therapy is expensive, even for a rich daddy's-money boy like Veneer. His and Velvet's parents were both dead now, however. Both passed in a "freak accident" about two years prior to their fame. Velvet was also hit by bouts of depression, she just didn't let it show whatsoever.
Veneer was scouting through a list of very bad coping mechanisms, essentially laughing at all of them. Except for one.
Veneer dug into his bookbag. As a college student, he had many many school supplies. He grabbed a pencil sharpener and walked into the kitchen, where the knife sharpener was.
SCCCCCCREAAAAACH
The noise was god awful. Velvet screamed from her room.
"STOP IT WITH THE FUCKING SHARPENER!"
if only she knew what he was about to do.
Veneer went back into his room, put the blade on his thin arm, and dragged it horizontally. Little beads of blood welled up on the surface of his pale skin.
It hurt. It hurt so good. He inhaled through his teeth.
Again.
Blood welled up a bit more, barely dribbling down his arm. It was so addictive, like sugar, or kisses from your partner. But Veneer didn't have a lover or any candy on hand, so I guess this'll do.
He continued to drag the blade across his arm until the whole thing was covered in shallow cat-scratch-like cuts. He was running out of space, so he switched arms. Wincing and sore on his left arm, he used his blood covered arm to slice up the clean one.
Velvet knocks on the door. "Veneer, god damnit, I need you to open this door!"
Veneer hid his arm and the blade as velvet marched in. "You stole my phone charger!" Velvet snapped. Veneer huffed. "Don't get THAT mad about it, sis."
"I can get mad about whatever I damn well please."
She walks out, charger in hand, and slams the door.
Veneer continued to cut.
When cutting his right forearm, he pressed too hard and he saw white. It went from a small white cut, to welling with blood. He panicked but knew it would probably be fine.. right?
He wanted more.
He pulled his shorts up and etched both horizontal and vertical lines into his thin thighs.
He bled. Not a lot, but he did.
He cleaned the blood up, stopped the bleeding, and put on sweatpants and a "Mount Rageous University" sweatshirt, before walking out into the living room.
Velvet scowled at her brother "what have you been up to? You've been cowered in your room for an hour." Veneer scoffed. "None of your business if I'm being completely honest." Velvet rolled her eyes. "Why are you wearing that sweatshirt?" Veneer smiled, covering up the truth. "It's autumn and I'm cold."Velvet nodded, before clicking the TV remote to turn on her favorite medical show, New Amsterdam. Veneer sat to watch with, even though hospital TV shows weren't really his favorite.
"You won't mind if I go to a party tonight, right?"
Veneer looked at her. "You're 22, why should I care?"
Velvet shifted towards him. "Because I know you hate it when I get drunk." "Then don't get drunk." Veneer said, rolling his eyes. "I don't plan to." Velvet muttered. "Only thing I'll be drinking is Dr. Pepper if I have any say in it." "If I have to pick you up from the party I'm gonna be really pissed." Veneer joked.
"If my soda gets spiked, you're gonna be picking me up from the county jail."
Later that night, Velvet went to the party in a purple mini-skirt and a purple crop-top, along with her nails painted (with special drug-detecting stuff in them so she doesn't get drugged) and she comes across Ritz, the news reporter. They're chatting with eachother a lot. "Vel, you look hot as fuck in that."
"You're not too bad yourself," she said, giggling.
Ritz reached for Velvet's board-flat chest. She smirked. "Not much to touch there." Ritz was obviously hard, and began to love on Velvet, who was super into it and loved it. They went to Ritz's hotel room and jumped on his bed. Velvet took her shirt and skirt off, so she was topless with underwear and nothing else. Ritz moved her panties out of the way and just started plowing.
"I'm not on the pill!" Velvet panicked.
"It's fine," Ritz added. "I'm pretty sure I'm almost completely infertile anyways, and even then, I have plan-B."They fucked almost all night. Ritz had Velvet bent over the bed, over the kitchen counter, and had her cowgirl him right before they fell asleep at around 4 am, intertwined in each other's arms. Right before Velvet leaves, she finds a pack of Camel cigarettes on the ground of the hotel room.
"Can I smoke one?" She inquired. Ritz nodded.
She took one out of the box, lit it with a match, and then put the match in a bowl of water with many other matches on it on Ritz's nightstand. Gross, but understandable. She sets the cigarette in her mouth and inhales, and then starts coughing. "Jesus!" She yells through hard coughs. "The fuck?!" Ritz smiled. "Try again. That's how it is your first time." She inhales again and it's nice. She smokes 6 or 7 cigarettes before she leaves the hotel room.
Veneer is in his room again. He heard a scream from outside, and it made him want to bang his head against a wall. It was a female scream, and it reminded him of when Velvet and Veneer were kids.
"Venny. Venny, it's gonna be okay."
Velvet's voice was calm, even though she was tearing up and panicking. Veneer was crying. "Why are Mom and Dad fighting again?" Velvet began to cry. "I.. I don't know." They were only 8 at the time, and listening to their parents scream at each other.
"FUCK YOU, CRYSTAL!" their dad screams. The scream is followed by a smack, and then a female scream-cry. "STOP! YOU'RE HURTING ME! YOU'RE HURTING ME, BABE!" There's another loud smack, a bang against a table, and more scream crying.
Veneer cries as he remembers this. His dad was drunk every single night, and would beat the shit out of his mom. He remembers curling up in Velvet's arms and sobbing, while she sobbed too. At this moment, he grabbed his pencil sharpener blade and slashed his thigh. A long, deep wound formed on him. He saw white.. slowly turning into red. It spilled over, and he used bandaids to patch himself up. He's going to be so scarred up after this.
It's all too much.
Venny, wake up.
Daddy says we have to leave.
Venny...
He wakes up, panicking. He breathes in hard, and then exhales. His anxiety was through the roof and all he could do was pause. Venny was what his sister called him from a really young age, and he liked the nickname. He felt safe. Until their parents fought, of course. The sweet "you're the best brother ever, Venny!" That once left Velvet's mouth would turn into "Venny, I'm scared. Daddy has a soda again."
When they both turned 14, their parents went on a trip. They thought it'd be a great idea to be alone in a car driving 17 hours away. Velvet got a call a day later saying their car was flipped over on the interstate and they were both dead on impact.
This broke the two, even though their youngest years were filled with their parents fighting. They both started singing together and completely sucked ass at it, so they worked harder and harder. Now, they're rich and famous. However, both are falling into depression.
Veneer looked at his body. He's covered in cuts. How humiliating. But they felt better. He had a release, though it was a bad one. Velvet came stumbling through the door reeking of tobacco. She tore off her hoodie, threw it in the washer, along with... The rest of her clothes. She luckily was not seen nude, veneer didn't dare leave his room when he heard a shirt flip onto the ground. Veneer was so tired. He just laid on his bed in defeat and took a long nap. Velvet also knocked straight out in her bed.
Veneer woke up later and went to get in the shower. He took off his shirt and pants before standing in his boxers, looking in the mirror. He let out a loud sigh at how he looked. His marked arms and cut thighs made him sink onto the floor. He did this to himself, and all he could do was regret it. It's a bad habit. A horrible habit. The sting he felt when his wrists opened by the sharp metal dragged across it was sickeningly sweet, like honey. He couldn't get enough, but he was ruining his body. He hated it, but he loved it. All he could do was wish. Wish.
Wish what?
He can't wish for more pain but he can't wish for less. It's up to him.
He's practically addicted to the blood that dripped down his legs.
He wishes he wouldn't have ever done this.
But he wants more.
He wants it to be over.
But he can't stop.
It's an endless cycle.
He can't just stop, can he?
It's addicting.
It's sickening.
It's disgusting.
It's horrible.
He's ruining everything, just like he did when he was little.
His mind races.
Fuck this.
He wants death.
It'll all be over if he dies.
But he just can't lose vel.
He hits himself.
Again.
And again.
And again and again and again and again and again again again again again again again....
Again..
Then he stops.
"I hate this so much" Veneer whispers to himself. "Let me leave. Let me go home. I'm stuck." He sighs.
"Let me leave..... I just... I just want to be happy." He curls against the wall and lets out a shaky breath, followed by tears streaming down his porcelain-like face. The shower runs, steam filling the bathroom. The plastic sheet wasn't in the tub, so water began to spill over the floor. He began to feel a headache, he felt paralyzed in his sadness, and just... Cried. He finally stopped crying and came to when warm water pooled beneath him, and he realized that he was flooding his bathroom. He panicked and grabbed three towels. After cleaning it up, he gets in, and fuck it stings. He regrets everything, he always will. But this isn't the end, not yet.
The story isn't over.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER TWO SOON.
Chapter 2: God Damnit, Veneer.
Summary:
Veneer fucks himself up, learns some secrets, and... Velvet does some stuff.
Chapter Text
WARNINGS FOR HOMOPHOBIC SLURS (in this story, the character saying them is queer, but still.)@
Veneer felt like shit. He stared in his bathroom mirror at himself. The majority of his cuts had faded by now, but he still had a lot of scars. Some on his arms and some on his thighs. He had been lonely and depressed, only getting worse when he noticed the bit of a tummy he was getting from overeating. He was normally overly thin because he didn't eat much, but now he's actually getting chubby. He pulled an oversized shirt on and threw on some sweatpants. He didn't feel like putting on any hair gel, so he had his usual fluffy mullet rather than that slicked down one he had on TV and in photos. He laid on his bed and turned on a show, quietly watching until he heard a key in the door. The door swung open, closed, and there was giggling. He stayed with his eyes glued on the screen and listened. It was muffled, but he knew it was Velvet and that news reporter again.
"God, Ritz, wait until I'm in my room!" Velvet giggled, playfully yelling.
"I can't wait, Vel. You're so beautiful. I can't help but wanna rip those clothes off right here!" Ritz yelled back. There was another laugh, and then a smack. not skin-on-skin, but more body on furniture. Then squeaking. Behind Veneer's door, Velvet and Ritz were at it on the couch. Velvet was on the couch, and Ritz was on top of Velvet with his fingers inside of her tight pussy. He pounded his fingers in and out repeatedly with one hand and covered her mouth with the other. Velvet's moans were so loud that you could easily hear them through the door and through his hand. Veneer didn't like it one bit. Hearing his sister get fingered? Not how he wanted to spend his night ever. He turned his show up louder. He ended up turning it off to go to bed and Velvet and Ritz were still going at it an hour later. He began to have dread fill him, not because of this, although this made him disgusted, obviously.
Veneer opened the padlock on his drawer and opened it. It was filled with eyebrow razors, pencil sharpeners with loose screws, and some first aid supplies. He just had to get a release for the dread filling him. He grabbed one of the eyebrow razors and opened it, lining it up with his lower arm. He pressed slightly, and yanked it to the right. This left a cut that was white, slowly filling with blood, that opened a bit. He panicked and grabbed some bandages to close the cut, then did this a few more times. He went to bed with an arm that had 6 or so bandages on. He wishes that Velvet would keep her night life to herself. He wishes that he had a night life, but because Velvet was thinner, curvy, and more of a tease, she was wanted by both men and women. Even straight women wanted her. Veneer was left in the dust for his sister constantly, he just waited and wished every single day that someone would come around and ask if he was alright. But a boy can only wish.
The next day, he wakes up to being shook violently. Velvet snuck into his room to leave something in there as a joke and saw his slashed up arms. She panicked and began to shake him.
"Ah- o-Ow! Velvet, Velvet! I'm awake, stop!" Veneer yelped as he saw Velvet just above him.
"You wanna explain the fucking Barcodes, Veneer? Is this why you've been hiding in your goddamn room constantly?" Velvet yelled, in a panic.
"Barcodes? That's so insensitive. Get out of my room!" Veneer yelled.
"Dude, you're in MAGAZINES! YOU SIGNED UP TO GET YOUR PHOTO TAKEN AND POSTED IN 'THE BOP ON TOP' LIKE, TOMORROW!" Velvet yelled. "Now I'm worried about your safety and about the fans! Where are your blades, Veneer?"
"None of your goddamn business."
"It IS my goddamn business. Give em."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Hand them to me.'
"You're horrible at making me feel better."
Velvet paused and then looked at Veneer again.
"O..oh God." She whispered, finally studying him. "This got so bad. How did I not notice?"
Veneer's voice shook. "You just never question sweatshirts." He clears his throat. "Are they going to push me out of the magazine if I have cuts?"
"Probably not. But you know how fans'll be." Velvet sighed. "I'm horrible at comforting. The best I can do is tell you that I don't want you doing this because you're my brother I love you but I know that I can't make you stop."
"That's probably the best that'll come out of your mouth." Veneer joked.
"Can I be honest with you?" Velvet flips her hair a bit and sighs, looking solemnly at Veneer.
"Yes. Of course, sis"
"I used to cut myself too. Mom and dad didn't care enough to check, and you didn't notice, I wasn't going to bring it up. Never. But now I feel I should, because you're going through the same thing. It sucks. It's the worst, and you're going to be in a horribly dark place if you continue." Veneer sits up and Velvet makes eye contact with him. "You'll only want to go deeper. You'll never think one cut is enough, and eventually, you'll be the dumbass that cuts fat-deep on accident and sneaks off to the ER. It's embarrassing."
Veneer's stomach drops. "When did you cut that deep?"
"When I was out with my friend when we were thirteen. I lied to the emergency people and said I was homeless and that I cut my hip at the park." She begins to laugh. "I lied and told them it was on a rusty bit of a slide. They gave me a tetanus shot right in the ass. Never again. Don't lie to healthcare workers. On the bright side, I still don't need another one of those for another year."
Veneer sort of laughed. "That's really dumb, but really smart."
Two days later, at the photoshoot.
Velvet is posing for the magazine in a small top and small bottoms. Veneer thinks it's gross that he's in the room for this, but she's not bad at modeling. He's next, and has to wear tiny shorts and a crop top. He's nervous, and when he changes into the outfit, he can just feel eyes on him. The bit of tummy, the scars, all of it seems like he's screaming that he doesn't care about himself. He gets in the pose... Velvet ends up leaving to go "to the bathroom" which essentially meant she was hiding so she didn't have to see it. Thank God. He wasn't allowed to leave because he was up next. The photos were quickly taken and they left. A week later, the magazine photos were up. Veneer's scars and stomach were edited out. This actually bugged him, because they filtered out something of his. Something on his body, because it was an imperfection. He decides to call the producer, and after a tussle, they agree to re-releasing the image. He thinks even if his fans get pissy, that's their problem. At least some community would be represented.
At home, Velvet sat in her bedroom next to Ritz with a lit cigarette in hand. Pretty much their entire relationship is fucking eachother and Smoking with eachother. Velvet's top was off and she was partially covered by the blanket. Ritz laid against her, setting his own cigarette in his mouth after lighting it on hers.
"I'm pretty sick of this fame-shit right now." Velvet muttered, blowing smoke into the air. "Photo after photo, I never get a damn break from the attention. This is what I want to do with my life for at least a week. No images, no... Stupid ass headlines. Just getting wined n' dined every night and then smoking after. And maybe not listening to my twin sob. That's not great." She places the cigarette back in her mouth.
Ritz laughed. "I can see why you like the 'get dinner, fuck and smoke' days we've been having together."
"I do like it. It's bad for me, but I'm young, why get up my ass for it?" Velvet sighed, glancing at her fingers. "Veneer's gonna kill me." Ritz looked at her in extreme concern.
"Why, exactly?" He asked, his eyes full of worry."
"I'm smokin' in the apartment."
"Who cares," Ritz says, blowing smoke into Velvet's face. "He can stay out of the hole in his pillow and I'll stay out of his business."
Velvet coughs and wafts the smoke away from her face. Ew. "I don't wanna know how you know that my brother fucks a pillow. You wanna watch him? You some kinda pervy-faggot combination?"
"He's lonely, velvs." Ritz started, putting his cigarette out. "I hear him moaning in there, he has a pillow with some weird shit in it, and if I'm being totally honest, he seems like a furniture-fucker." Velvet scoffed, not wanting to hear about her brother doing that. Ritz is greatly unaware of the true behaviors of Veneer. The amount of horrible ideas he has in his head, the pure suffering that he was unfortunately involved with... Jesus. It's a lot. But maybe, just maybe, Ritz was right for once.
...
Two days later, Veneer is alone in the house and in his room. He's a bit pent up, not having really any source of relief from constant thoughts about doing awful shit to himself. But he finally had a free moment, and he was hornier than a rabbit. He grabbed said pillow, grabbed a plastic bag, and rolled the pillow up with the bag inside. Thank god for this, because nobody wants to fuck him, especially after his photos were released. He retrieved some lube and closed his eyes, just.. hoping he'd forget what he was doing.
We're not gonna go into detail about that night.
Chapter 3: Untold sickness
Summary:
An update.
Chapter Text
WARNING FOR: emetophobia (puking) Weed smoking Possible limrence Dissociating
Veneer's arms and legs shook. A feeling of anger and pain struck his body. How could this happen to him? His first love in a matter of months, and now he was nauseous, looking at a text admitting to cheating. He typed in the number. xxx-xxx-xxxx, hoping for a response from his love a year ago. A feeling of dread sent whirling through him as he clicked send, and he began to feel vomit rise in his throat as he thought of his girlfriend's name. A cheater. Velvet was in the other room without Ritz, but the entire place reeked of that weird faded skunk-spray smell. He knew what was going on. "What do you want?" The text stated. Finally. For months, with only small breaks, Veneer absolutely lusted over this man. The beauty of his voice, his smell, all of it. He wanted him more than he wanted air, and he'd give up almost anything to get him. If he had to pick between this boy and his best friend, though, that boy would get pushed to the curb faster than you could register who was standing in front of you. Not worth losing a friend over a lover. In one of his college classes, he smelled something that smelled exactly like the former lover, and went practically feral. He couldn't stop thinking about it all day. His crush filled his mind and practically all hours, so much so he could barely get his head in the game for work. He wouldn't shut up to the number, but all he had to do was *get him back.* Then, he'd be set for life. When the time came for a goodbye, well, It took only three days for the ex to split again, and Veneer wasn't exactly crushed, but he wasn't NOT upset, and definitely not NOT destroyed because he was definitely- totally going to get this guy who dumped him. He was practically surviving off a piece of burnt toast and a redbull that he chugged at 7:40 that morning. Not a good state for someone who could barely brush his teeth at night. He was finally getting back in the game, functioning at least somewhat normally by the end of the week, but the ASMR girlfriend audios he was listening to just didn't hit the same after a week, and actually filled him with shame. He stopped listening to it after he heard the fake kissing noises and realized he needed to get some hoes or get his shit together. Memories flashed back to him, as he sat on his phone scrolling through shit baking videos. Crying over something small and stupid, just to stand up and see his best friend looking up at him. He felt so.. tall. Like he wasn't in his body. He could feel the warmth, but it felt like their head was resting on the middle of his chest, when truly, they're not much shorter than him. It was like he was floating above his body. He was constantly in agony by this point, filled with a sense of dread. He didn't want them to see him crying, he had to absolutely get his shit together. Velvet was in the other room, too engrossed in what she was doing to see veneer spaced out. She took a huge inhale of a joint, coughed a little, and then laughed before taking her phone out of her pocket and calling her best friend who was staying the night. There was a pickup in an instant. "You good, Velvs?" The voice said, confused. "Oooh yeah. Perrrrrrrfect..." "You're having a good time. I'll be there in ten." "Yeah, course. I should probably stop smoking so I don't get high." "Maybe. Don't be too crazy." *Beep!* It wasn't unusual for her to be smoking. After all, she enjoyed it. She heard a little creak, and a snap coming from her brother's room. He was crying. "Lil bro?" Velvet said, genuinely worried. "What do you want? Get out." Veneer snapped. "I know what that sound is. Give me the box cutter." "No." "Give it or I'm gonna fucking pounce on you." Knowing Velvet was heavy, and heavier than he was, he gave it to her. She opened a window and threw it straight out. "We don't do that shit, Ven. You'll die. No dying." "I'm sad." "Well be sad and don't cut yourself. You know what helps when I'm sad?" "What? Weed?" "Go cry in the shower. Scream it out for ten minutes. It's great." "...sure." Velvet snickered, and grabbed something from behind the door. A soft pillow. "Beat the shit outta that." Velvet left and went into the kitchen to get food. He was in the shower by then, crying. Velvet felt cruel, but texted her friend. "Wanna go out for a bit before coming to my place?" "Where?" "Man, I dunno.. the shopping center? We can go look at all the dumb stuff." "Why not?" Her friend comes in, a white person with tattoos, dyed hair, piercings, a cropped band shirt, and a pair of South Park sleep pants that were definitely too big on them. Along with that, some platforms. They went out for a couple hours and ultimately screwed around everywhere. they both fell asleep in the living room that night with a show playing. By the middle of the night, veneer was blaring music and looking desperately for someone. Something. Anything. Anyone. He resorted to chatbots to fill the hole. His music was blasting out of his earphones, and he had tears streaming down his face. He was so lonely, lonely enough to talk to something with no soul just to fill a void. He turned his phone off, chucked it against the wall, turned over, and fell asleep. As morning came, Velvet's friend decided to stay another night, A strange tall black girl with dyed hair and a tomboyish outfit came in to stay the night as well, following that with ruffling the other friend's hair. In this moment, he only knew one thing. He was safe.
Chapter 4: Get off me, bitch
Chapter Text
WARNING FOR
sexual assault
Puke/bulimia
Veneer was having a dream. A dream of one of his years of middle school. He sat there, remembering something.
"C'mon, but I want you so bad!" The girl whined.
This wasn't a dream, it was a nightmare.
"It's just a kiss. You're not gonna get in trouble."
A girl forced veneer into a relationship with her in sixth grade. He was scared, because she was nearly (or over) 200 pounds and taller than him. He let her kiss him. He didn't want it. His lips tingled like it was love, but his stomach flipped like it was forced. he broke up with her after she shoved him against a wall in the girl's bathroom and kissed him. He didn't want that and it made him late for class.
That summer, he went into the bathroom with a new boyfriend. The same stall. He remembers nothing after touching the door to close it, except for pain and "it's gonna hurt.'
Two weeks later, he watched his boyfriend make out with a girl in front of him.
During seventh grade, he gained weight rapidly. He went into the bathroom, turned the water on, and shoved a toothbrush down his throat.
Gag.
Again.
Gag.
Again.
He threw up about a third of what was in his stomach.
Again, again, again until what he ate was no longer visible in the vomit. He did this for two weeks, before developing emetophobia. The toothbrush was thrown away after this incident.
Veneer looked over at a vape. His sisters, to be precise. She was a vaper. He picked up her vape, the dark red cylinder in his hand just.. itching to go in his mouth. Of course, he didn't bag on her for vaping. He did, however, bag on her for vaping black cherry. Cherry everything tastes like SHIT to him. He had vaped a couple times himself, but the dark red reminded him of the girl, who had red hair.
"Babe, do I smell like vape?" She said before shoving his head into her chest. They were both 11.
He threw the vape across the room, before Velvet came in, picked it up off the floor, and laughed. .
He hadn't seen that girl in years
And didn't wanna see her again.
Never again.
He saw her in eighth grade.
But never again.
Sigh.
Veneer flops over and hugs his pillow.
"I'm okay. Everything is okay."
Not in his head, it wasn't. He had the intro of a sick, twisted piece of media swirling in his head.
"Cause there's a place you can escape to mentally
For only silliness is making forced entry
For the purpose of self preservation
Here at Alfred's playhouse!"
He only watched the show once, and hated Emily Youcis. But whenever things got bad again, he heard that familiar, grating voice in his head.
"You know why else you can't remember?"
These little blocks would only last for a day or two, but they sucked.
Luckily, he could tell this block would only last a night.
As he laid there, the intro stopped.
It stopped as velvet pressed her hand to his shoulder.
"Venny."
she hadn't called him Venny in years.
"You're gonna be okay. Whatever's in that head of yours? Don't let it bother you. You're safe with me."
You're safe
You're safe
You're safe
Maybe everything would be okay?
.