Chapter 1: A Mother's Son [Would Not Ignore The Pain Of Another]
Chapter Text
So much pain.
That's the only thing that filled Daisuke's mind at that moment.
So, so much pain in shoulders, in his eyes, in his body.
Swansea's and Jimmie's voices flew over his head, both full of worry. He failed. He failed so much. Anya is dead. And it's his fault. Curly is probably gonna be dead, too. He should have been faster, stronger, better . Swansea is disappointed in him. And Jimmy… He's not sure what he is even going to do.
Swansea and Jimmy continued to argue over him, their screams at each other muffled by his pain. Oh gosh why is it hurt so much? Why couldn't it be a little less painful… why-why-why-
Suddenly, a new pain washed over him as something touched his shoulder.
IT BURNS. IT BURNS SO MUCH. Why-why-why-
Daisuke clenches his teeth, tightening his grip around his body. Everything hurts, and the cut open shoulder starts to feel both numb, freezing and burning at the same time. This is horrible, horrible, horrible-
Swansea's voice got louder, as the Jimmie's started to stammer down. Did he do that? Why-why-why- He knew- H-he KNEW that mouthwash would only make the situation worse. WHY- w-why did he do that.
Anya said- Anya said that sugar would only make it worse. Did he not listen? Did he ever listen to her? What is wrong with him-
Suddenly, Swansea's voice became clearer, as he lowered right in front of Daisuke's face. What's going on?
— Daisuke… Please close your eyes.
He can't-he can't-he can't.
But he does. As the ax swings in the air, he feels slight pain for a millisecond, and then
Daisuke wakes up, as the comfort of his good ol’ blanket surrounds him. What? What… What happened? Why is he- Alive?
He softly lifts his hand up, touching his face and chest. No wounds… Was it a dream? Nightmare? He sure hopes it was, but it felt… too real to be a dream. Too graphic, too painful, too realistic. It's weird. Way too weird.
He slowly rises out of the bed, hunched over his covers. All of this is so wrong. He feels it in his bones, in his mind, in his spine.
…He should probably go out to see the others. Sighing, he shook off his frown. Can't be like Swansea and mop around on the ship, after all! Plus, everyone is probably already awake! Quickly changing, Daisuke stormed out of his room, moving to the hall. The quietness of his room immediately changed to the chatter of his crew, letting him relax. Yes, yes. All a dream. Nothin’ happened to everyone! As he walked into the hall, he saw Swansea discussing something with-
— Anya! You’re okay! – Daisuke smiled, as he tackled her into a hug.
— O-oh! Daisuke, p-please warn me before doing something like this- – She sighed, hugging him back, – Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?
— Right-right. – Daisuke nodded, trying his best not to think, – just had some silly nightmares, ha-ha.
— …Don’t worry, I will always be okay with you around, Daisuke. – Anya ruffled his hair, smiling back.
— Yeah, yeah, we know ya two care for each other. Now fuck right off, we have a party to throw. – Swansea suddenly pulled him, grumbling, – Unfortunately for me.
— Yessir! – He saluted back, running off forward.
Right! It’s Capitan’s birthday today! He should prepare the main room for him! Daisuke ran off into the storage rooms, grabbing all the decorations and trying to fit them all in his arms as he walked back. Go-go-go! Curly deserves the best birthday ever for being the best captain ever! He… never saw anyone else being a captain, but he’s still sure that Curly is the best one! Hanging up the poster with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”. As he finishes up placing the balloons, he climbs down to the door and puts on the little birthday hat. Just any moment now!
He sees Anya and Swansea staying near the door too, each wearing the same birthday hat. Jimmy came in last, hurriedly taking the hat and putting it on, not caring for the precision. Heh, classic Jimmy. Daisuke almost jumps up from the wait. Just a little! And-
Door opens, as Curly enters the room.
— Surprise. – Jimmy says, like it’s a burden. Party pooper, tsk.
— Suuurrrrpriiiiise! Hah, look at your face! – He smiles, as Captain looks back dumbfounded at him.
— Heheh. Gotcha! – Anya giggles, making a smile. It’s been a while since he saw one from her.
— …Cheers. – Simple and dry, but he doesn’t miss the subtitle smirk on Swansea’s face. He never can hide his emotions, hehe.
— Oh wow… – Cap smiles, a tad bit confused. – What’s, em, the occasion?
— Well, you see… – Anya smirks as she speaks, – We only get one communal birthday party per trip, right? So we can have it whenever!~
— Only one person can be surprise birthday-ed per year. – Jimmy muttered, as he frowned. Gee, what is this guy’s deal? – We did Swansea’s last haul, remember?
— Whaaaat? – Damn, he really wished he could be here to see that! – Aw man, ain’t no way! Bummer that I missed that.
— You were next on the list. – Jimmy dryly said, – So. Congratulations.
— Unfortunately only you have the authority to make the cake, so you have to do that on your own, – Anya said, before patting Curly on the shoulder and pushing him towards the machine, – But we found the recipe! It's on the fridge by the machine. Now, hop to it, Cap!
She smiled as Curly nervously started looking around the kitchen, seeking the right packs to make the cake. As he fumbled with the buttons, everyone sat down at the table. Daisuke sneaked a glance towards the cake that the Capitan set up. Maybe it’s some tasty fla-
It’s pink.
Just like in the dream.
O-o-okay maybe it's just a coincidence! Ha-ha, he shouldn't worry. He shouldn’t. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Right. He clunches the fork in his hand. This is fine. Daisuke shakes his head, and with a heavy sigh, puts a smile back on his face. It’s a birthday party! He can’t be sad on this day. With the shaking hand, Daisuke leans towards Curly, pushing the words out of his mouth.
— Hey! Captain, ya should do the speech! No birthday party is the same without a speech! – He said, trying to steady his breath. Everything is okay. It’s just a dream.
— Well… I… actually have some bad news to deliver. – No. No-no-no, – Pony Express… They are firing us all. The company is getting closed. We do get paid for this, but overall we all getting fired at the end.
— …So the Pony Express finally kicked the bucket, huh? – Please-please-please. – What a joke. And we are the crappy punchline.
— I… Don't have any savings… The pay won't be enough… – It can’t be- It cannot be. – T-they can’t just do this… Right?
— The Pony Express is the last manned crew delivery company. – PLEASE- p-please – The writin’ been on the wall since forever.
— When. – IT CANT. IT CANT. – When did they tell you?
— … This week. They instructed me to tell me at the haul destination. – Don’t- – But I couldn’t hide this from all of you. It’s unfair.
— So you got what you wanted. Without the guilt.
Shut up.
— And I, o the worst Jimmy, can go back to… Ah, how did you put it?
Please shut up.
— “Struggle of a life.”
Please.
— Daisuke will be okay. He got his Momma and Daddy to cover his ass.
Don’t. Please.
— Swansea doesn’t have any more years in his employment, that's for sure.
SHUT UP.
— Anya never got into the medical school because she’s… Well, let's be real. Just a little talentless who-
— SHUT THE FUCK UP, – His voice crackled, face wet with tears. When did he start crying? – Just- Shut… up. Let’s… Let’s eat the cake. O-okay?
Daisuke shook, as he covered his eyes. He didn’t hear whatever nonsense Jimmy screamed at him back. He didn’t hear Anya’s worried voice. He didn’t hear how Swansea argued back at Jimmy, just like before. He didn’t hear how Curly tried to stop this. He just looked at the empty plate.
The dream.
It was real.
It was real all this time.
He saw Anya die. He saw Curly become a shadow of himself. He saw Jimmy become an animal of a man. He saw how he bled to death. He saw how he died.
He can’t let anyone die. He can’t let Anya be harmed. He can’t. He wants to throw up. He needs to be stronger. He wants to run. He needs to find the reason why they crashed. He wants to cry. He needs to-
— Daisuke- Daisuke. – Suddenly, his thoughts were cut short by gentle shaking from Captain, – Are you okay?
— Ah? Oh, yea, I’m- I’m fine. I’m fine. – Daisuke slowly nodded, putting back a smile on his face, – Don’t worry about it!
— You sure?... – Another nod, – Okay. Sorry about this mess. I really should’ve said all of this after the party.
— It’s okay, Captain. Let’s just eat the cake.
Daisuke sighed, as he picked at his slice. This is awful-awful-awful. How can he prevent what happened? He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want Anya to die. He doesn’t want Cap to become… That. He’s afraid, but can he
even
afford being afraid right now? He remembers that the crash happened 6 days later. He doesn’t want anything to happen. He needs to do something,
something
.
He shoved a piece of the cake into his mouth. Calm down. He can’t let himself panic right now. Not with everyone’s lives depending on him. Making himself eat the poor slice, Daisuke breathed heavily, looking at nothing and everything at the same time. This is bad. This is really, really ba-
Wait.
Did Swansea forgot to take his slice? Oh no! He should fix that immediately! Standing up, he takes another cake slice and, gently placing it on the plate, almost starts to run towards the hall, as then a gentle hand stops him.
— Oh, Anya, hi!
— Daisuke… You didn’t need to. – She said, her expression dropping.
— An… Of course I did! I can handle him sayin’ all bad stuff about me, it’s not like it’s new, but you! – He gently headbutted her, smiling – You’re like- My big sis! I can’t just let him badmouth you!
— Awww, Daisuke… – Her face brightened, as she ruffled his hair. He made her happy! Success! – Still, you didn’t need to. Jimmy is… just like that. I’m used to it.
— Just like what? An asshole?
— Phahah- Боже… Heh. Maybe you’re not entirely wrong. – She smiled, as she suddenly picked his cheeks, – Also, don't call An! I have a name you know, you little rascal!
— Eeeekkkk- Okay-okay I won't! – Despite his protests, Daisuke still grinned at her.
— Good! And now go-go-go! Before Swansea runs off! – She giggled as she tried her best to sound strict, – …And I think you are also a little brother to me, Daisuke. I’m glad that you trust me.
— Of course I trust you! You’re the best, after all.
— Sure, sure… – Anya once again smiled, as she gently pushed him, – Now, Swansea is probably waiting for you. Cmon, go, ты мелкий глупыш.
— Okay-okay, I will! – He giggled back, as he started walking towards the hall.
Daisuke waves to her before he runs off in the hall, still carrying the plate with a cake slice. He should be near the cryopods, he always likes to rest here! He juggled further, and, after taking another turn, stopped as he saw Swansea standing over at the wall.
— Swanseaaaa! – He eagerly waved at him, – I brought ya cake!
— Oh. Hello kid. – He grumbled, as he turned his fac- wait.
— What happened?! – Daisuke exclaimed, as he circled around Swansea, – Did you fight with Jimmy or somethin’?!
— No, I just fell onto the floor way too hard, of course I got into a fight with that skunk! – He grumbled even more, crossing his arms, – I ain't gonna let men like him get scott free after sayin’ such stuff. Some bruises ain't a biggie.
— Swansea… You know we shouldn't fight…
— Sometimes you need to, kid. – Swansea's voice turned serious, as he looked straight into his eyes. – We can't just ignore someone who actively hurts others. No matter what.
— …Maybe you’re right. – Daisuke sighed, as he shook his head, – Anywho!, I brought you the cake! You forgot to take your slice.
— Ah. Thanks, kid. — Swansea gently ruffled his hair, a faint shadow of a smile appeared on his lips, – I appreciate it.
— No problem, sir! – He saluted back, as he started to run towards his room, – Now, back to the job, ya know?
— Sure, sure. Now, run off, kid.
Daisuke smiled as Swansea started to eat his cake, calmly smiling to himself. He crossed the hallway, its gray walls accompanying him in his thoughts. Now. He can't slack off. He needs to think of the plan and think what to do. He is afraid though… Ugh, this is way too complicated. He was used to playing games at home, not thinking of– a way to survive after being thrown back in time from death!
He feels horrible. Really horrible.
His hand trailed down at the metal, its rust and age making it rough. He wonders how many others also placed their hands upon these walls. Somehow, the thought of others having the same experience calms him. Daisuke sighed, leaning his head on the cold wall. Maybe he should make a wall of clues so far? There is no way Curly intentionally drove the ship onto an asteroid, so there must be another reason for the crash.
…He needs to find that board in his room. And the marker.
Chapter 2: World Is His Canvas [And Blood Of The Traitor Is His Paint]
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
He didn't know when he managed to pass out.
Daisuke just woke up in the middle of his room, laying down at the desk full of notes, covered by a blanket. Huh, must’ve been Anya. Anywho, he needs to go on with his deductions. Gently shaking the blanket off his shoulders, Daisuke lifted up the desk, placing it against the wall and letting him fully view his notes so far. He doesn’t have that much, though.
Swansea doesn’t seem like someone who could, or even want to crash the ship. He does have a family on the earth, after all. He himself is out of the question. Anya… While she can have some motive related to her… Death. Jesus it’s still scary to think about. But she also isn't the type of person to do that. She’s lively, fun loving and hopeful. She wouldn’t just- drive the ship into the asteroid. Plus, she doesn’t seem to be able to do so physically. So the only one is left.
Jimmy. Daisuke had a feeling that something was wrong with him, but now, having come back from his death, he had to put all his actions into a new perspective. And that perspective isn't looking good. The way that he acts is abnormal, and Anya did say that he failed the mental check up multiple times. And… While he doesn’t like to remember the- time when he died… He does remember how Curly always screamed when it was Jimmy’s turn to give him the pills. Jimmy has the power and is unreasonable enough to crash the ship. But the motive… The motive is missing.
UGH- this is stupid-stupid-stupid. Daisuke ruffled his hair, breathing heavily. What can he even do? It’s not like they have any rooms where they can lock Jimmy in. And even if they did, what if he gets out? What if he becomes even more unstable? Gosh this is hard. And he doesn’t even if it is Jimmy! Just-
Suddenly, he heard a gentle knock on the door. Who? Daisuke immediately walked up to the door and, with a gentle push, slided it to the side, looking at the person behind it. Oh. It’s Anya.
— …Hello? – Daisuke said, tilting his head to the side, – Do you… Need something? Oh- did the vent system break again? Damn, I just fixed it-
— No-no, everything's fine. Just. I- – She looked really nervous. Almost unnaturally. Stress doesn’t fit her, – I need to talk to you. About… something.
— Oh. Sure-sure! Do I need to cle-
— No. Not here, – She gripped her arms, fiddling with the uniform. It hurts him to see Anya like this, – Medical. It has the locks. No- No one would hear us.
— Ah. Okay. – Something is wrong. Something deeply, deeply wrong, – Show the way.
— …Thanks. – She smiled, her eyes wavering. She shouldn’t be like this.
— No need to thank me right now. You can do it later, when you tell me what you need.
— …Mhm.
This is incredibly worrying. Daisuke doesn’t let it show, though. He needs to be strong for her, after all. He followed her, as she continued to grip her arms. It's painful to look at. He gently offers her a hand, and she quickly grabs it, almost clenching it. It hurts, slightly, but it’s better than seeing her so… Scared. Like she’s cornered. Like someone is going to attack her if she isn’t careful. Her being like this is like a knife to his heart. He squeezed her hand back.
Hall after hall, door after door, they stopped at the medical bay. Just a little more. She quickly entered the room and, after he got in, closed the door, the lock making a slight ‘click!’. Anya deeply sighed, and, waving him over, sat at the mat. Daisuke sat down next to her, tilting his head. Just- What happened to her? Why is she so scared and worried? This is concerning.
— Daisuke. Please don't tell anyone about what I'm saying. – Anya broke the silence, her voice shaking, – Promise me.
— …I promise. – It hurts so much seeing her so vulnerable, – You can tell me anything, Anya. I will never judge.
— …Okay. T-thank you. Thank you. – She takes a deep inhale, and clutches her pants, – It's about Jimmy.
— What did he do?
— I'm- I-i – Her eyes fill with tears, – I'm pregnant. He- h-he- I-
— …He forced you, didn't he? – Everything clicks now. Everything makes sense now. He knows what to do now, – -I… I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
— Don't… Don't be. – That fucker. That animal of a man. She looks so defeated now, but at the same time relieved, – I'm-
— Can I hug you?
— …Y-yes.
Daisuke immediately tackled her into a hug, cradling her close to heart. This is disgusting. To make her feel like that, be like that- It's unacceptable. He squeezed her in his hold, feeling the tears stain his shirt. Doesn’t matter. It's better that she feels better, than to worry about his clothes. Anya still was shaking, but at least she stopped crying.
— С-спасибо. Спасибо. – She muttered, gripping his shirt, – Не уходи. Пожалуйста.
— Shhh, I'm here. I'll always be here for you, Anya.
— I- I will be too, Daisuke.
He continued to hold her, as she breathed heavily. Daisuke knows what to do now. He finally has a purpose in his life. He won't run away this time. He will take responsibility. What did the mouthwash say? “Kills 99% of germs”? Well, ain't that ironic. He just knows a perfect germ to hurt. He- He won't kill him, though. He can't. But he will hurt him enough.
— …Better? – He muttered, gently patting her head.
– Y-yes. – Anya said, slowly breaking away from the hug and wiping her eyes, – Again, thank you. For listening. And for believing me.
— What? I would always believe you. Why wouldn’t I? – He genuinely said, a bit dumbfounded.
— Pft. Never change, Daisuke. – She smiled. He missed that.
— Well good news for ya! I'm not planning to!
— Phahah. You little rascal. – She laughed, her smile getting bigger. That's much better, – Now, go back to your room. I'm sure you still wanna sleep, you bedhead.
— Okay, okay, I will! Bye-bye, Anya!
— Bye, Daisuke.
And so, he closed the Medbay door, walking towards Swansea's room. He needs to take the axe. Carefully crossing the halls for the umpteenth time, he stopped in front of a door. Breathe in. Breathe out. He will figure out an excuse. Bursting through the door, he straightened up, putting on his happy act back.
– Mr.Swanseaaa! I- oh. – Only to be met with an empty room. Huh.
Well, this is awkward. Where’s h-
The axe.
It's here.
Completely unguarded.
He knows what to do.
Clenching his fists, he takes the axe like it's the last thing on the ship, and tightly grips it in his hold. He knows what to do. He knows. His spine flared up with rage. It's Friday today. Jimmy always likes to stand around the cryopod hall at this time. Daisuke knows what to do.
He will take responsibility.
Stalking through the corridors, he once again stood in the middle of a hall, the monster looking at him, confused.
— What are you doing, Daisuke? – It said, it's maws dripping with poison.
— You know what you did, Jimmy . – He will take the responsibility.
— What?- What are you-
He dashed forward, his axe digging into the flesh. The monster looked scared, pleading for something. He didn't care. It run, towards the captain's pod. It won't go far. Daisuke chased after it, axe bloodied. He knows what to do. His hands are shaking with anger. Jimmy looked back, his eyes full of fear.
He won't run from justice.
Jimmy stopped, cornered at the end of a hall, the door jammed and blocked. He forgot that it's locked on Fridays. Perfect mistake.
Daisuke raised his axe once more.
He hit the monster several times, it trying to fight back. Scratching at his legs, cutting his face with his axe. He won’t stop, though. Not anymore. The Alarms go off, painting everything in red. Jimmy screams at him, something about him being useless, something about Anya being a bitch. He didn’t care, though. He won’t care though. The monsters don’t have a right to say such things about someone so beautiful. His eyes stung with boiling hatred.
Daisuke didn’t move when Jimmy overpowered him, stabbing him in the shoulder with the axes back blade.
He can’t move away. He needs to take responsibility.
Daisuke raised the axe, and took a swing.
Red. Goes the axes metal.
Red. Goes the Daisuke's shirt.
Red . Goes the walls of the hall.
Red. Goes the light in his eyes.
Red. Goes the blood on his hands.
RED. Goes the wounds on his body.
RED. Goes the floor with the crime.
RED. Goes Daisuke's legs after Jimmy stopped moving.
Wait. Stopped? Daisuke froze, looking at his hands. They were bloodied. What- What did he do? He looked back at Jimmy. Or, more correctly, his corpse. It was stuck in perpetual scream, not moving an inch. The red meat was going outside of his body, the guts spilling onto the floor. His face was broken in two, eyes looking at the ceiling. Oh no- oh no-no-no.
He didn’t mean to. He didn’t mean to kill him. He only wanted to cripple him! Fuck-fuck-fuck what can he do- He shook, the axe dropping from his hands. Oh no- He will get in jail now! He can’t go to jail! He’s too young, he needs to be here for every-
— Daisuke? – A voice said behind him. Swansea. – What did you do?
— I- I’m. I’m s-sorry- I-i didn’t I d-
— Hey- hey. Calm down kid. – He dropped down, holding his shoulders. When did he drop on the floor? – It’s okay. I’m here.
— I- I wasn’t- I’m not
— It’s okay. we will deal with this, kid. – Swansea’s voice soothed him. He’s so scared, – We will fix this. Everyone. Together.
— O-okay. Okay. – It’s hard to keep eyes open. He is so scared, – I’m sorry.
— Everything will be okay, kid. We are here for you. – Swansea patted him on the back. Daisukes scared that if he closes his eyes he will go back to that room, with the split in his face, – We are here.
Daisuke is afraid to close his eyes. But he does.
When he opens his eyes, he finds himself in his bed. Panicked, Daisuke tries to rise, as then a soft hand pushes him back, his shoulder and face slightly stinging with pain. Who? He looks around, and catches a gentle face. Anya.
— Uh-uh-uh. No sudden movements, young man. – She said, looking at him sternly, – I am not giving you new stitches if you open up your wounds again.
— Wait- but I-
— Killed Jimmy? Yea, I know. – Anya’s eyes softened. He doesn’t deserve that, though – While I… Don't really know what to think of it, it was freeing to know that he's dead.
— W-what- What about the others? Capitan? Swansea?
— Swansea thinks that you did the right thing after… I told him. – As he tried to say sorry, she immediately shushed him, – No, no, it's my decision. Plus, I would've told him today either way.
— And… Capitan? He- He hates me, right?
— …No. No he doesn't. – She sighed, slightly patting his hair, – …He thinks you did it in self-defense. That you killed him accidentally.
— But… I didn't. Kill him in self-defense. – Daisuke muttered, fiddling with the blanket, – I'm… I am a mu-
— Now, don't call yourself that. We can tell Curly at the haul. – She gently ruffled his hair, smiling, – And Swansea said that you didn't intend to kill him, right?
— Y-yea.
— So part of that is true! – Anya pinched his cheek, – So don't worry too much. Plus, it's not like he didn't deserve it.
— Yea, you're right… Still, I'm sorry. I should've- I shouldn't-
— Hey. – She said, looking him in the eyes, – Calm down. Everything is fine. Now! Wanna play some games later? Your luck can't save you all the time, after all!
— Pfft. You're way too calm about finding out your friend has killed someone, – Daisuke smiled back, crossing his arms on his chest.
— Well he killed someone who- uh… forced himself onto me. So why would I be mad?
— Heh. Fair. – He giggled, and then flashed a smirk towards her, – Don’t think that I'm gonna lose to you that easily, though!
Maybe everything will be okay. Maybe no one has to be hurt anymore. Maybe he did the right thing.
…He hopes he did.
Notes:
Hi-hi-hi~! Stestir here.
Never thought I would branch out of my good ol' UTY fandom, but Mouthwashing captured my heart with Daisuke.
On the fic: I seen so many fics where Swansea kills Jimmy, and while I respect them - honest honest! They are awesome - I don't think its that likely. After all, it is implied that Anya told Swansea and convinced him to not kill Jimmy. While he is hotheaded, he's also a really honest and "man of his word" kind of guy, which stops him from doing the deed.
Daisuke on another hand... If he didn't listen to Swansea, he could've not listen to Anya too~UPDATE: First off- WOAH??? More than 100 kudos?? Yall are crazy, I am very very grateful to each one of you!!!! Second of all- BIG ASS THANKS TO AMAZING AND COOL AND AWESOME AND GREAT DAISUKEMADIK FOR DRAWING AN ART FOR THIS FIC!!!! Please go to their tumblr [https://www.tumblr.com/daisukesukkamadik?source=share] and support them!!! They are amazing [did I already say that?]!!!!
Anywho, thanks for each and every one of you for reading this silly fic! I did expect it to do so well, considering that its just something impulsive that I wrote for fun of it, ha-ha.
prosto_cofeUnU on Chapter 1 Sun 27 Oct 2024 07:42PM UTC
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Stestir on Chapter 1 Mon 28 Oct 2024 02:51AM UTC
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prosto_cofeUnU on Chapter 1 Sun 27 Oct 2024 07:52PM UTC
Last Edited Sun 27 Oct 2024 07:52PM UTC
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Last Edited Mon 11 Nov 2024 01:10PM UTC
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