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It’s a Friday night and a collection of empty bottles of soju lie between Mark and Jaehyun.
This wasn’t Mark’s idea. Typically, it would be, and he’d already be lying face-down on the floor. Though, he took it easy for once, and maybe he switched places with Jaehyun tonight. Jaehyun, who is the reason behind the majority of those empty bottoms of soju, sways where he sits across from Mark.
The real reason Jaehyun invited Mark over is still unknown to him, but he has a feeling he already knows why, or who. Any excuse to be drinking that much is a very pitiful one. Something happened and Jaehyun is unwilling to announce exactly what it is while sober, so he had to resort to liquid confidence. Still, no luck whatsoever, and Mark is rather concerned since he hasn’t seen Jaehyun this drunk—with a tolerance as strong as his—in a very long time. Though it shouldn’t be as entertaining as it is.
Their conversations covered at least everything from the times they first met up until this point because Jaehyun is the type to reminisce or stare off into space. It’s a back and forth of rambling to silence. He sometimes repeated himself and Mark wouldn’t correct him, too infatuated by Jaehyun’s voice as it went deeper and thicker with the influence of alcohol. He could listen to him speak forever like a broken record on replay—Mark would collect the vinyls and store them somewhere safe, and if only Jaehyun could understand, maybe the sentiment would make sense to him. Jaehyun collects records as a hobby. Jaehyun is so much more than Mark’s hobby.
“I think you should slow down,” Mark ends the moment of quiet, feeling slow himself, but he isn’t going to catch up with Jaehyun. He has to be the responsible one tonight if Jaehyun is in this state. “I’m going to get some water.” When he stands, he wobbles, and he’s convinced that he needs to sober up. He doesn’t wait for Jaehyun to respond before he leaves.
He fills two glasses with tap water, and when he returns, Jaehyun has taken another bottle and has brought the rim to his lips, drinking straight from it. Mark panics and quickly sets down the glasses before snatching the beverage out of Jaehyun’s grasp in one, not very smooth motion.
“What did I just say?” he asks incredulously but Jaehyun just blinks at him catlike.
Jaehyun’s hand is still suspended in the air, and he looks at it before letting it drop down. “Um,” he tucks his fringe behind his ears, an old habit, and smacks his lips, “sorry, I think I’m…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, and he stares straight up at Mark who still stands above him.
The angle…Mark has to tear his gaze away and shakes his head. “Just,” he can’t tell if it’s the alcohol or Jaehyun really just sent him spiraling like this, “drink the water.” He backs away and returns to his cushion on the floor, putting his face in his hands. When he dares to look back at Jaehyun, he’s hit with the image again.
Fuck, Mark thinks, and it’s the only coherent thought he’s had this entire evening.
Jaehyun’s simply staring at him with his lidded eyes glazed over, chest rising and falling slowly. He doesn’t seem to notice how flustered Mark is and a smile breaks out across his face, chin dipping down as he does. Messy strands of hair fall in front of his face and Mark’s hands itch to brush them out of the way for him.
“Mhm,” a small hum broken by a giggle and Mark so badly wants to kiss him. It’s eating him up from the inside and out, leaving guilt to fill in the space.
“Hyu—”—Mark’s voice dies in his throat when Jaehyun maneuvers himself onto his hands and knees, crawling into Mark’s space with some difficulty given how uncoordinated he is until he’s just inches away from him—“—hyung?”
There is a very blurry, very minuscule line dividing boundaries between them. If there even is one in the first place. But this. This is something Mark’s never experienced with Jaehyun. Jaehyun who can be reserved and more on the receiving side of affection, particularly physical affection. Usually, Mark is the one to initiate something between them, and if Jaehyun ever were, it would be to tease him in some way like a tickle or pinch at the skin. All for Mark to reciprocate with a slap to the butt or a bone-breaking embrace.
Yet, a sudden weight is on Mark’s chest that isn’t just his own bundled up nerves manifesting themselves, but Jaehyun’s forehead resting there. A head of thick hair is all Mark sees as he looks down, and the second it trembles, his hands instinctively shoot up to rest themselves on Jaehyun’s shoulders to steady him.
Another giggle and now all of Jaehyun’s weight is pushing against him. Mark laughs despite himself, his entire body tingling with many urges he wouldn’t dare act on, but. He sucks in a breath, leaning back to hold Jaehyun’s chin in his fingers and tilt him up to see his face.
A gaze so empty, so vulnerable meets Mark’s, surrounded by flushed rosy skin. He could do anything, anything and Jaehyun wouldn’t…he wouldn’t mind. His lips are stuck in perpetual pout and Mark now notices how shaky his breathing’s gotten as he presses the pad of his thumb on Jaehyun’s lower lip. It goes easily, revealing the bottom row of his teeth and Jaehyun’s still looking at him in the same way. Defenseless and unaware.
Fuck.
Mark immediately lets go of his lip and almost retracts his hand entirely but Jaehyun’s relaxing into his hold until Mark has to cup his entire cheek in his palm. It’s warm to the touch and his thumb dips into the dimple which forms as Jaehyun presses his mouth together.
“If only you could see yourself,” Mark whispers and Jaehyun licks his lips, “do you want me to show you?”
The question of course doesn’t make sense to Jaehyun and he doesn’t immediately respond, just once again smiles and Mark returns it but it’s not as innocent.
“Show me?” he asks, words slower than usual and Mark nods, moving his free hand to dip underneath Jaehyun’s shirt and brush against his skin there. Jaehyun’s eyebrows pinch in confusion, but he remains still, and Mark wonders just how far he could go.
Mark’s hand tucks away the loose strands of Jaehyun’s hair, leaving a chaste kiss on his exposed forehead before he pulls Jaehyun fully onto his lap. A whine in small protest leaves Jaehyun as Mark’s grip tightens around his waist then slides down to rest at the cleft of his ass, groping at him there with an entertained grin that just can’t seem to leave his face now.
He looks up at Jaehyun who is holding onto his shoulders sluggishly. “Are you going to be good and stay still for me, aegi?” He raises his eyebrows expectantly and feels something ignite deep within him when Jaehyun blinks blearily down at him, nodding his head obediently, or perhaps because he doesn’t know any better.
Rolling his hips upward, Mark rubs his crotch against Jaehyun’s ass, and he relishes in the surprised moan which escapes Jaehyun. He does it again, spurred on by Jaehyun’s expression pinching in pleasure he doesn’t understand but one his body does as he grinds down, and Mark clenches his jaw in order to calm down. Just about having enough with being restricted by clothes, Mark busies himself with undoing Jaehyun’s belt and pants, tugging them off as Jaehyun gasps above him, unable to process this all at once. But that doesn’t matter to Mark who feels his mouth water as Jaehyun’s half-hard cock flings up once he pulls the waistband of his boxers down.
Mark spits into his hand and wraps it around Jaehyun’s shaft, teasing his head with the tip of his finger and relishing in the moans which escape his lips. If Jaehyun were of sound mind, he would muffle himself with his mouth stubbornly pressed into a straight line, unwilling to debase himself so easily, but he’s not. He is without filter, without restraint. He bucks into Mark’s hands eagerly, choking on his own breath as Mark squeezes him in his grip and he’s already cumming onto Mark’s shirt with an embarrassingly loud cry in a matter of seconds.
“Jaehyun,” Mark says his name through an awed laugh, surprised at Jaehyun’s sensitivity, but immediately shuts up when he sees the teary look in Jaehyun’s eyes, “oh, aegi…”
“Shit,” Jaehyun is blinking, and they spill down his cheeks. He doesn’t bother to wipe them away, or simply doesn’t think to, as he’s pulling his own shirt over his head then using it to wipe at the mess on Mark’s, “I’m sorry, hyungie.”
Mark freezes in place, heart skipping a beat and jaw falling slack. The term must’ve flown over Jaehyun’s head the same way his top did, and Mark feels his sanity slip from his grasp just as his blood rushes south. Jaehyun’s chest and torso are also flushed pink the same as his face, swaying ever so slightly and heaving shakily as he attempts to rub his release off of Mark’s clothes. Throat feeling too dry to speak, Mark takes hold of Jaehyun’s wrists and forces them to stay still. He’s met with no struggle, of course, and Jaehyun drops his shirt to the floor without another thought.
Fixing his hands on Jaehyun’s narrow waist just above his hips, massaging there as he tries to recollect himself, Mark—just to make sense of it despite that being all Jaehyun lacks in this state—quietly repeats, “Hyungie?”
It takes a second before Jaehyun realizes and Mark knows that when his eyes go wide, complexion turning scarlet. “Oh,” it leaves him as a moan and Mark watches as his cock grows hard again at attention, “ hyungie.” He drawls out the syllables, lower lip jutting out as he ruts into nothing but air, and Mark wonders if he’s about to witness Jaehyun masturbate on top of him. To accidentally calling Mark “hyungie” in the heat of the moment.
“Fuck me,” Mark mumbles to himself, sitting up straighter then taking Jaehyun into his hand once again before thinking better of it and gripping his torso, “hyung’s got you, c’mere.” He heaves Jaehyun up to lie him down on the floor, to which Jaehyun whines quietly at—not due to being moved, but for the lack of stimulation on his dick—and Mark’s rolling his eyes fondly as he slides a cushion under the small of Jaehyun’s back and situates himself between his thighs.
Jaehyun wraps his legs around Mark’s waist as if on instinct and pulls him closer, whining incoherently. His fingers splay out as they drag over Mark’s arms to his shoulders and Mark watches as the reddened pads press into his skin, soft with firm muscle. There are moments like this where Mark feels bigger than he actually is. Above Jaehyun, controlling Jaehyun. Manipulating the way Jaehyun behaves beneath him, taking his wrists in his hands just as so, and attempting to ignore how his fingers wrap themselves completely around Jaehyun’s thin wrists. To even regard Jaehyun as dainty, now, and so breakable. Mark would be a fool to not admit he always particularly enjoyed the way Jaehyun fit in his hands. His ass, for one thing, but his entire stature—it’s not like Mark could help himself when Jaehyun is always letting him.
The same way Jaehyun is letting Mark pin his wrists above his head with his one hand while his other glides its way up to Jaehyun’s neck then his chin. He grips Jaehyun and Jaehyun jostles ever so slightly by Mark’s suddenness, lips falling open as if on command.
“What’s going on in that head, aegi?” Mark asks, albeit with a hint of cruelty, and he inserts two fingers into Jaehyun’s mouth down towards the back of his throat. There’s not even a struggle, Jaehyun’s wrists stay perfectly still, though his neck does jerk as Mark collects enough spit from his mouth to use to finger him, which he does.
Jaehyun’s more relaxed than he was before, he barely moves as Mark stretches him open. It’s a slow process given they have no lube with them, but Mark makes do and…Jaehyun is in no state to complain. He’s dazed, staring off into space yet still greedily taking Mark’s fingers and keeping his legs open accordingly—Mark would dare think obediently, but Jaehyun’s never lacking in compliance, it just boldens when there’s drugs in his system. He becomes almost inanimate. Like a doll.
The thought causes Mark to blink, abruptly stopping his movements and doing a once-over of Jaehyun. What is he doing? Jaehyun isn’t even fully conscious, and Mark is afraid of how much he doesn’t care. Mark swallows thickly wondering if Jaehyun will even remember this when he wakes up. When he wakes up. If Jaehyun knows—Jaehyun will—what will he do–? Mark wets his lips and retracts his digits from Jaehyun’s hole, and there’s precum at the tip of his own cock which he uses to lubricate himself. What if Jaehyun wakes up, debauched, cum spilling out of him, and he likes it? Mark imagines Jaehyun mortified, not knowing what to do and his eyes roll to the back of his head as he sinks himself into Jaehyun.
Poor, little Jaehyun who takes him, so pliant.
Maybe it wouldn’t take a lot for Jaehyun to bend over. Maybe if Mark asked, Jaehyun would already be on his knees. Or, maybe, Mark doesn’t need to say anything, and he could simply move Jaehyun himself to his liking.
“Agh, fffuuuckkkk,” he moans, thrusting languidly into Jaehyun, removing his hand from Jaehyun’s wrists and feeling lightheaded at the fact Jaehyun keeps them there above his head. He grasps Jaehyun’s dick and thumbs at its slit, watching as cum spurts out from it and smiling at the loud whines Jaehyun elicits.
His cock is thin, too, veiny with a thicker one protruding from the base to the head. Mark follows it, up and down, rhythmically as he jerks him in pace of his own thrusts. The motion begins to squelch the more cum Jaehyun lets out, the slide becoming wetter and wetter. When Mark glances at Jaehyun, his eyes are glassy and he’s still delirious, which is a sight Mark wants to never let go of. It’s him reducing Jaehyun to this mess, it’s only him that gets to see Jaehyun like this.
“Hyung,” Jaehyun warbles. Mark ignores him, caught up in his heat and how lewd he looks under him, “hyungie, I need to, wait—st–stop.”
Mark furrows his eyebrows and squeezes Jaehyun in his hand, tilting his head to the side, but the second he asks what’s wrong, Jaehyun’s trembling and cumming. Though, it’s not just cum. He squirts out piss as his orgasms rocks through his body and he tries to cover himself but Mark’s immediately pinning his arms at his sides.
“No, please,” Jaehyun whimpers and tears are pouring down his cheeks as he peers up at Mark through his bangs, twitching uncontrollably with another stream of pee escaping. “Please, please, please.” His voice becomes unintelligible again, under his breath and through wobbly lips.
When Jaehyun wakes up, Mark now wants him to remember all of it. He hasn’t been harder in his life. “You couldn’t hold it in?” He sounds as if he's in disbelief—which he is, he somehow overwhelmed Jaehyun enough to start pissing himself—and perhaps Jaehyun has more power over him than he’s realized. Anything Jaehyun does Mark becomes unbearably horny over.
Chin trembling, Jaehyun shakes his head. “Please,” he repeats but makes no move to push against Mark.
“‘Please’ what?”
Wordlessly, Jaehyun’s gaze slides over to the opposite side of the room where the bathroom is, and Mark lets out a laugh. To catch him off-guard, Mark continues to fuck into him and Jaehyun gasps, finally straining against Mark’s hands but only because he begins to pee involuntarily. Mark feels the warm liquid hit his stomach and he bites down hard on his lower lip, watching Jaehyun writhe around and moan in embarrassment and arousal. So much for Jaehyun to process, he doesn’t handle it well. He cries and his moans become sobs, and—oh…Mark wants to keep him this way forever.
There’s been very few instances of when Mark has caught Jaehyun crying. Jaehyun has always avoided being vulnerable in public, and if it were someone he cared for that was crying, he’d try and escape the scene as soon as possible if he could help it. Not because it was awkward for him. It’s just that he would want to cry, too. In the rare moments Mark would see him in such a state, it would be stray tears and silence. To describe it as crying would be an overstatement. He still looked so pretty, and Mark only became curious of what Jaehyun would turn into if really pushed to his limits.
He guesses he finally has accomplished that. Fuck around and find out. Literally.
“What a mess,” Mark comments, all but growling as he slams his hips against Jaehyun’s ass, “shouldn’t you apologize?”
Jaehyun’s arms stay at his sides even as Mark lets them go, placing his hands back on Jaehyun’s waist to hold in place. “’m sorry, I’m so sorry, hyungie,” he babbles and hiccups, arching his back prettily when Mark recoils one hand and punctuates one of his thrusts with a slap to Jaehyun’s thigh. “Please…” He no longer knows what he wants.
Pathetically, more piss escapes and Jaehyun’s completely debauched. The liquid spills down his stomach and legs, filthy. The embarrassment subsides from Jaehyun as quickly as any thought does, and he’s like putty in Mark’s hands. Any pressure Mark pushes against his bladder, any chastising, and he’s farther than gone. He is no longer there, just a figment of Mark’s pleasure. An instrument for Mark to play with. All of his strings pulled taut and close to snapping. What Mark is obsessed with is that Jaehyun lacks any awareness of this, and he truly is a doll.
He should take a picture to relive this moment, but his phone is somewhere in his jeans’ pocket, which he does not want to waste any time fishing around for. Feeling himself coming close, he moans and barely notices the way Jaehyun’s legs fall from where they were hooked around his waist. Jaehyun’s entire body has relaxed, and he looks tranquil, no longer sniffling, though muddled whines leave him as Mark chases after his orgasm.
Mark bends down to swallow any leftover cry Jaehyun has, kissing him hard enough to leave his lower lip bleeding as he pulls away with it caught between his teeth. Jaehyun’s eyes had closed shut, long lashes laying gently on his cheekbones, and it’s as if he never was touched. He’s unresponsive when Mark finishes inside him, skin on fire as he pulls out and watches the cum spill out of his hole to the floor. He could get hard again, so he averts his gaze and watches Jaehyun lie there. The shallow rise and fall of his chest create a chasm in Mark’s, guilt settling inside once again.
He breathes heavily and stands up on shaky legs, the floor feeling like quicksand just about to consume him. His hands tremble as he grabs his clothes and hastily puts them back on, tripping over his own feet as he makes his way to the door where his shoes are. His skin feels sticky and his clothes cling to his body uncomfortably. Remnants of Jaehyun are left all over him. He feels himself growing hard again as he vividly remembers the sounds of Jaehyun’s broken moans echoing through his ears. Fuck.
Mark doesn’t look back when he leaves.