Chapter Text
Nancy stared at her appearance in the mirror right in front of her. Her reflection stared right back at her. She could feel the burning in her eyes.
As usual, the bathroom was messy, which was the result of sharing a bathroom with two other people. Her parents had their restroom, but it didn’t mean it was nicer.
Nancy ran her hair through her greasy curls and poked at her smudged makeup as she thought of what had just happened—how her entire life had turned around over one singular event.
She thought the Upside Down was the worst thing to have ever happened but somehow it was topped off with the disappearance of two people she needed.
“Oh.”
The air stood silent as the frigid breeze whisked by, despite being a summer night. The police officer stared at Nancy with sullen eyes. Nancy slightly widened her mouth in an attempt of trying to say something. Just anything to get her tongue off of the words she was desperate to say.
“I’m truly sorry for your losses, ma’am. " The officer continued to speak more about the legal cases afterward, but Nancy couldn’t think properly. Her voice was stolen, and all that came out was a hoarse attempt.
They had just defeated the Mindflayer and hoped that maybe this time, it was the last time. Only God knows the fear they have felt over the past few years. She was aware that many Hawkins residents had tragically passed away due to the devastating effects of the Mindflayer and the Upside Down, but she didn’t think it could be someone so close to her.
“What about Holly?” she dryly said.
The officer blinked away. “We’re not sure, but we assume she’s at home. It’s rather late, so hopefully, she’ll be asleep. We have someone going over to check on her.”
“Okay.”
Nancy turned her head to search for Mike as the officer told her her options as an almost legal adult: either take Mike and Holly to a group home or apply to become their legal guardian.
The thought of paperwork made her feel sick. And she had to plan her parent’s funeral on top of all that, plus deal with the bills that came with it.
She wasn’t sure how to tell Mike or Holly what had happened, and she couldn’t even think of their reactions. Their parents are dead and Nancy has no idea what to do.
Nancy finally found Mike sitting in the back of an ambulance, red and blue lights illuminating his face. His eyes stared blankly at the ground, and there was no one to comfort him and no mother to soothe him.
“Ms. Wheeler, are you listening?”
Nancy snapped back to the officer and nodded. “Yeah, sorry.”
“Think about your options tonight and we’ll come back tomorrow.”
“Alright, thanks,” Nancy smiled briefly before rushing off to Mike. Just anything to not stare into the eyes of the policeman. But her feet couldn’t move. She had walked up to Mike but she was stuck; all of her emotions came rushing through her in a stiff breath before bursting out into tears. Mike caught on and ran up to her, speechless, and asked her what the problem was.
Nancy wrapped her shaky trembling arms around her younger brother, wrapping him in a tight embrace. Mike didn’t question it and hugged her back, something they had never done before. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as it looked, but it could’ve used a little work.
All Nancy could do was stare into his eyes as she tried to find the words.
“Come on Nance, what is it? What’s wrong?” Mike began to tear up and Nancy spat it out.
“Mom…Dad…” Nancy whispered, “They’re dead.”
Mike stiffened and backed away from Nancy. His lips quivered as they gently parted. A tear fell down his cheek. Nancy hadn’t seen him cry in years. “Oh.”
Mike bit his lips and avoided eye contact with Nancy. The whole world faded away from them and Nancy could only see Mike.
But Mike didn’t see her. He stared at Nancy as if she were a stranger and not someone who had known him his whole fourteen years of living. And Nancy did the same.
But that stare only lasted a split second, and in that small second, Nancy saw her brother and how everyone else in this damned town viewed him.
Tall. Skinny. Pale skin. Clammy hands. Curly hair that his mom spends half an hour straightening every morning (at least she used to). Frightened face. Soulless eyes.
And within that small window through the eyes of the town, Nancy felt this small pang of anxiety.
Not anxiety, but fear.
She feared for his future in their town and was afraid of what was going to happen to him.
But all of this happened within a second.
Nancy blinked, forgetting her disturbing thoughts.
“Nancy!”
Nancy blinked again. There was a slight ringing in her ear.
“Is Holly okay?”
“Yes, the police told me they’re checking up on her,” Nancy softly spoke. The lights started to dim and the night sky pulled through. People were going home.
There were over a hundred deaths in the small town of Hawkins, two of them being their parents. What is she going to do without them?
“What’s going to happen?” Mike asked just before a familiar voice interrupted them. Joyce gently placed her hand on Mike’s shoulder.
“Oh sweetie,” she sighed. “They just told me what happened. God, I am so sorry.”
Nancy watched as Mike clutched onto Joyce, hugging her tightly. Joyce held him in his arms but she looked at Nancy. Not even eighteen yet she has to care for her younger siblings.
Nancy couldn’t think properly, and she certainly couldn’t feel anything.
Joyce offered to spend the night at the Wheeler’s. Although Nancy didn’t ask her to, she was relieved that she offered to take care of them until Nancy’s birthday the next month.
She just needs July to speed by, then maybe things will be okay.
Nancy insisted that all of Joyce’s kids come over for the night.
“ There’s plenty of space and I don’t want you so far away from them. ”
Jonathan was sent to sleep in the basement, Will with Mike, and Eleven in Nancy’s room. Thankfully, Holly had been fast asleep, but Nancy stood in the doorway watching her sleep. Holly was only five and would grow up without a mother or father .
Nancy couldn’t think of a way to tell Holly what had happened.
She didn’t mind El sleeping on her bedroom floor, after all, she was in the same boat as her. Hopper had died during the explosion so with nowhere to go, Joyce took her in. She hadn’t spoken at all the entire time she was at the house, but no one forced her to.
Nancy knows little about El besides that she’s a superhero (as quoted by Mike) who has saved the world a few times. She is also Mike’s ex-girlfriend. Nancy feels guilty that she doesn’t know El for who she is or what she’s done.
Continuing her night, Nancy tiredly brushed her teeth and washed her face with cold water. She was exhausted and just wanted the day to be over.
Tomorrow was another day.
-
The soft buzzing of the house kept her up. Nancy tossed and turned in her sleep, but her mind was so overfilled with her thoughts. Eventually, she sat up in her bed.
“Nancy?” A voice called out from the darkness of her room. Nancy whipped her head and immersed her eyes in the general direction of the voice.
El.
“Nancy?” El whispered again. Nancy turned over to face Eleven and whispered back.
“Yeah?”
Silence passed between them.
“What’s going to happen now?”
Nancy picked at a hangnail on her finger and clicked her tongue. “I….don’t know.”
“Joyce was talking about leaving, but I don’t want to leave. I like Hawkins,” El whispered back. She sat up on her sleeping bag but stared at her hands.
“I hope she doesn’t leave,” Nancy’s voice cracked. “Without her, I wouldn’t know what to do. I have no one.”
Even more tears welled up in Nancy’s eyes before she wiped them away. It was so stupid to cry about a situation like this. She needed to be strong, to be strong for her family. They were relying on her.
“Are you like their mom now?”
“I guess,” Nancy shrugged. “Unless I take them to a group home.”
“What’s that?” El questioned. Nancy suddenly remembered that El doesn’t have much knowledge of the modern world.
“It’s like a big house where kids without parents stay, usually run by churches or states, and they’re given food and shelter.”
“So Mike and Holly will move away?”
“Well, I wouldn’t want them to. It would be traumatic for them just to leave at a young age. And besides, I’m sure you wouldn’t want your little boyfriend to leave you,” Nancy teased.
Nancy wasn’t exactly sure why she said that. Her entire life, people have always asked her, “ Do you have a little boyfriend yet ?” And it always pissed her off. But now she’s pestering a young girl with the same question.
An immediate wave of guilt swallows Nancy with just that one question. Not even a question, a statement. It wasn’t even related to the subject at hand; why would she say that?
Besides saving the world a few times, Nancy knew nothing much about Eleven. Sure she was Mike’s girlfriend, but is that all? Is she really thinking the same way all those older women thought years before her?
Girlfriend seems far too serious, especially for someone such as her brother. She and Mike weren’t the closest siblings in the world, but Nancy still looked out for him. To her, Mike is still her baby brother, even if he’s taller than her.
Nancy’s mind went through a million thoughts per second before her train of thought was interrupted.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” El stated after a few seconds. She tossed over in her sleeping bag to face the wall. “I don’t think he’ll be my boyfriend ever again.”
“Are you guys still fighting?” Nancy asked. She never bothered to know anything about her brother’s love life, but she knew they were fighting; she just didn’t know it could be that serious.
“No. We’re friends.”
“What happened? I promise I won’t tell anybody,” Nancy scooted off the bed and sat on the floor before Eleven. El sat up and faced her.
El hesitantly looked off to the side before even slightly opening her mouth. “I don’t think…I ever liked Mike.”
“Well, that’s fine,” Nancy reassured. “You guys are still young, and dating is complicated.”
El stayed silent.
“What exactly is love ?”
Nancy silently smiled to herself. She remembers when she was that young.
“It’s like a deep affection for someone. It could be romantic or platonic.”
“Platonic?”
“Platonic is like loving someone but without dating. Like how my parents love me.”
Nancy paused.
She forgot.
El kept on asking. “So I loved Mike?”
“That’s for you to decide. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you want to date them. Love is how you display your affection and show someone you care for them. You don’t have to love Mike if you truly didn’t.”
El nodded and smiled again.
“Thank you, Nancy.”
“No problem. Hey, I don’t think anyone else is awake. Do you want to go sneak downstairs? I could make some pancakes or see what else we have,” Nancy offered. El’s face lit up.
“Hopper always made pancakes for me,” Eleven whispered as they walked down the stairs. “I would put a lot of chocolate syrup on it and then he would take it away and say that it’s unhealthy. Then he would pour a bunch on his pancakes.”
Nancy rested her hands on the kitchen counters.
“I miss him.”
“I’m so sorry, El,” Nancy blinked away tears.
El slightly cocked her head. “But you didn’t kill him.”
“I-I know but if we had just done things a little differently, maybe he would’ve been okay and-”
A loud thud upstairs startled both of them. Both girls stared at each other.
“I’ll go check on that,” Nancy whispered as she walked out of the kitchen, keeping her eyes glued to the ceiling where the thud was–Mike’s room.
Nancy silently walked up the stairs. The house was eerily silent, but Nancy needed to check on that odd thud. The last step creaked as she placed her weight on it. Nancy stayed shut. She heard muffled voices behind Mike’s door and assumed maybe he and Will were talking.
Although it probably wasn’t the smartest decision, she wanted to invite them for pancakes. She leaned her head against the door and placed her hand on the doorknob, but she couldn’t find the strength to open it.
She could hear them speak a little clearer then, but still muffled. But she could hear crying. Sobbing.
Mike was crying.
Instinctively, Nancy turned the doorknob and opened the door immediately. She was quicker than the two boys could react and she saw how they did. Mike was on the edge of his bed, his face covered by his hands, and with Will by his side. Will was sitting on the other side of the bed but Nancy knew that he was right next to Mike. Even in the dim light, she could see the indent on the mattress beside Mike.
Will stared at her with wide eyes and began to stutter.
“Go away,” Mike muttered. Nancy walked back and nearly closed the door, but she remembered why she even opened the door.
“What happened? I heard a thud and thought-”
“Go away!” he shouted. Mike picked up his head to stare at Nancy with a scowl, but it immediately wore off. His face was flushed with red and Nancy could see the tears on his face. Will sat still like he was afraid to be close to Mike. Nancy apologized and shut the door.
She swiftly ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. Her face felt numb as she replayed that little moment in her head. It was all within ten seconds.
“Hey,” Jonathan gave a half smile.
“Jonathan? Why are you up? It’s like five in the morning and I-”
“I just woke up,” he rubbed his eyes, “I heard shouting and I thought something was wrong.”
“What was that?” El asked.
“Uh…” Nancy stuttered. “It was Mike.”
No one questioned that. Nancy would have to ask Mike about that later. But how? She hadn’t had a serious talk with him in a while and she wasn’t sure if she was even capable of doing so.
But it’s not like she can get out of it. She needs to talk to him and make sure he’s okay. Chances are, he’s not. Nancy isn’t okay either. But she needs to let him know that Nancy will always be there for him and Holly no matter what.
(At least she’s trying to).
“Are we still going to make pancakes?” El asked. Nancy nodded and brought out the supplies to make it. Nancy walked to the pantry to pull out the pancake mix and realized it was fully stocked. Her mom probably had just gone to the store that day to buy food. For some reason, the thought of it made Nancy’s heart hurt.