Lupin III: Invasive

by LoopSpoop

Summary:

Most people wouldn’t eat food taken from an underground criminal syndicates laboratory. Lupin III is not most people. What follows leaves the gang scrambling for answers before it’s too late.

Chapter 1: Heist

Silently making his way through air ducts, Lupin smirked as he peered through a vent and into a technical room full of scientists. This would be one of the easiest jobs he had ever pulled! Slipping a small oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, the thief carefully tossed a gas capsule into the room through the slots in the vent cover, scientists passing out and collapsing once the capsule went off.

 

Taking the vent cover off before he climbed down, Lupin went to a computer and began trying to get into the system. Goemon and Jigen were disguised as a common cargo loading crew and, once Lupin managed to get the proper codes entered into the computer, they would remove their precious cargo from the premises: over a million dollars worth of funding hidden in a safe in the basement!

 

“Easy peasy!” Lupin snickered, pressing a finger to his earpiece. “Alright, pookies~! The safe should be open.”

 

“Don’t call me ‘pookie’, you ass.” Jigen’s gruff voice crackled in his ear, Goemon’s protesting vaguely audible in the background as the thief cackled.

 

“You know you love me~. I’ll meet you two back at the loading dock.” Lupin smiled, heading toward the exit before he hesitated.

 

On one of the desks was a clear plastic bag full of what appeared to be nuts. He wasn’t really sure what kind but…he was kinda hungry and they were just sitting there. He figured the scientists would be more pressed about losing their money than a bag of nuts. Ah, hell, why not? Swiping the bag, Lupin placed it in his pocket as he slipped out the door and down the hall toward the loading dock.

 

~~~~~

 

Laughing from his passenger seat in their truck, Lupin pulled the bag from his pocket. They had gotten their loot with no trouble and were long gone by the time the alarm was sounded, passing cops cards adding to his glee. Now, it was time to relax and celebrate their success!

 

“The hell is that?” Jigen glanced over from the drivers seat, raising an eyebrow. “Where did you get a bag of nuts?”

 

“Snatched it out of the technical room.” Lupin shrugged. “They won’t miss it more than their money.”

 

Goemon peered over from the back seat, scrunching up his face. “I do not think it’s wise to eat food from a lab.”

 

“Yeah, who knows what they put in it.” Jigen shook his head. “I wouldn’t chance that, man. I dunno what those even are…”

 

“Man, you two are no fun! I’m hungry and it’s free food.” Lupin rolled his eyes, scoffing. “It’s nuts, they’re fine!”

 

“Fine, then. Your funeral.” Jigen sighed, shaking his head as he stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray.

 

Lupin pouted, shoving a handful of nuts into his mouth. What did they know? Hmph! Chewing slowly, Lupin did his best to not visibly scrunch his face up. These were…not very good..like, not at all. Glancing to the side, he could see Jigen and Goemon subtly eyeing him. Well, he couldn’t let them call him on this! Willing himself, Lupin swallowed and forced a smile despite the…weirdly acidic taste?

 

“See? So good I’m already full!” Lupin smiled, tucking the back back in his pocket. “Yum…”

 

“Mhm. Whatever you say, Lu.” Jigen rolled his eyes, snorting. “Don’t come cryin’ when it makes your hair fall out or somethin’.”

 

~~~~~~

 

Hours later, Lupin filled up his fifth glass of water of the hour. He felt sick as hell but he just couldn’t stop drinking. He felt like he was walking through the Grand Canyon or something! He didn’t understand why he was so thirsty…he felt like he was more water than Lupin at this point.

 

“What the hell are you drinkin’ so much for?” Jigen raised an eyebrow as the thief basically inhaled the glass. “Don’t tell me Goemon’s got you drinkin’ more water.”

 

“Water is good for you.” Goemon shot Jigen a look before looking back at Lupin. “But, no. I have not told him to drink this much water.”

 

“Weird.” Jigen shook his head, taking a drag off his cigarette. “Dehydrated fucker.”

 

“Hey! I can hear you, you know?!” Lupin huffed, biting his lip as he eyed the tap again. Thirsty….

 

Yeah, I know.“ Jigen snickered, turning back to look at him fully. “You’re bein’ weird as hell, though. I’ve seen you drink maybe two glasses of water a day, tops. You’ve had five in the last hour and I can see you eyein’ a sixth.”

 

Goemon frowned, walking over to him curiously. “You should stop if you have had that maybe. Too much water can kill you.”

 

“I know that.” Lupin sighed, hesitantly putting his glass in the sink. “I’m just….thirsty.” So, so thirsty. Like a dying cactus…

 

“Whatever.” Jigen sighed, standing as he pulled his hair back into a ponytail. “Go find soemthin’ to distract yourself. It’s my night to make dinner and I don’t need you in my way while I’m workin’.”

 

Lupin huffed, crossing his arms as he walked toward the living room. “You’re lucky you look sexy as hell in that apron you wear…”

 

“Damn straight, now git!” Jigen grabbed a spatula, pointing at the door as he shooed the thief and samurai out of the kitchen.

 

Rolling his eyes as he blew Jigen a kiss, Lupin did his best to ignore the dry feeling in his mouth. He was basically past over-hydrated at this point…why was he still thirsty? Sitting on the sofa, the thief laid his head back against the cushions and looked up at the ceiling quietly.

 

“Are you alright? You seem..off.” Goemon’s concerned face appeared over his own, brow creased.

 

“I’m alright, doll. Just my bad habits probably catching up to me.” Lupin smiled softly, shrugging. “We can’t all be beautiful, healthy samurai after all.”

 

Snickering at the blush spreading across Goemon’s cheeks, Lupin carefully pulled him down and planted a short lived kiss on his lips before sitting up and grabbing the remote. He just needed a distraction. Goemon and Jigen were very good distraction, especially when flustered like that.

 

“That…is why you should take better care of yourself…” Goemon’s mumbled, eyes anywhere but on the thief.

 

“Get over here.” Lupin glanced back, laughing softly. “There’s a samurai movie marathon on tonight, I figured you’d want to watch.”

 

“…yes.” Goemon nodded faintly, blush still present as he moved around the sofa to sit beside the thief. “Thank you.”

 

Lupin smiled, laying against him carefully. He thought it was funny he could still fluster Goemon after so long together. Hell, it was funny when he could manage to fluster Jigen too, rare as it was. They were his boys… He was sure once the night had passed (and his incredible thirst, good god!) they could blow all this money on extravagant dinners and nights out for each other like normal.

 

~~~~~

 

Pain.

 

Lupin’s eyes opened, the darkness of the bedroom just vaguely less enveloping than the darkness of sleep. What had woken him up? Shifting slightly, the thief’s breath caught at the painful stab in his right side under his ribs. Right. Yep. That. Hissing quietly, Lupin curled in on himself, arms wrapped around his middle. Okay. It was a cramp. That was fine-

 

Another stab.

 

Grunting, Lupin choked faintly when even taking a breath seemed to aggravate the pain further. Hands shaking slightly, he tried to minimize his breathing so the pain would decrease. What the fuck? It felt like it was spreading across his abdomen, but why? Was this from all the water? Another stab of pain hit him, a low whine escaping from deep in his throat.

 

“Lupin?” A half awake voice came from his left.

 

Damnit! He hadn’t meant to wake anyone up. He just wanted this shit to pass. Another wave of pain was enough to make his hands jerk slightly, which added to the burning sensation under his ribs. Vision swimming, Lupin tried to catch his breath as carefully as he could.

 

“Lu? You up?” A lamp flicked on from his right. Jigen. “Fuck, man, you alright?”

 

A hand on his back, Goemon’s judging from the hand shape and softness. “Are you ill?”

 

He could only manage a half grunt, clenching his eyes shut. “Just…a cramp..” he mumbled through his teeth, body tensing as another wave hit him. “Damn-!”

 

“Those science acorns or whatever-the-fuck must’ve made you sick.” Jigen sighed, shaking his head. “Told you.”

 

“‘S not that…” Lupin groaned, shaking his head. “Feels- Ack-!” He curled up further, panting slightly as his vision spotted.

 

“Easy.” Goemon’s hands carefully found themselves on Lupin’s own guarding his abdomen. “What does it feel like?”

 

“S-Stabbing….but like I’ve actually been stabbed…” Lupin wheezed, glancing down at Goemon’s hands on his own. How long had he been shaking for? He hadn’t felt it….

 

“Well you haven’t been stabbed.” Jigen’s hand pressed against his cheek for a moment. “You’re not warm….sweaty as hell though, Eugh…”

 

“Be nice.” Goemon glanced at the gunman before looking at Lupin carefully. “Do you think it’s because of all the water you had earlier?”

 

“Maybe? Fuck, I don’t know.” Lupin laid his head back, eyes closed tightly. “I felt fine before…”

 

“Jigen, could you get the heating pad from the hallway closet?” Goemon’s hand gently ran up and down Lupin’s arm.

 

“Alright.” Jigen grunted, joins popping as he got out of the bed and shuffled off out of the bedroom.

 

“Let’s lay you on your left side, okay?” Goemon looked down at him gently, frowning. “Will you be alright if we do?”

 

“Mhm.” Lupin nodded, carefully turning onto his side as he hissed.

 

He felt Goemon’s hands on his back, rubbing carefully. The gentle movement was a good distraction. He needed more distractions than normal today, apparently. Glancing over, Lupin watched Jigen walk back in and set up the heating pad before passing it to the thief.

 

“You’re a real peach, Ji.” Lupin smiled weakly, carefully laying the pad across his abdomen. “Sorry I woke you two up..”

 

“Do not even worry about it.” Goemon continued to trace patterns into his back with gentle hands. “Any better?”

 

“A bit..” Lupin nodded, exhaustion starting to take hold as the cramps died down. “A lot…uuuugh you two are life saversssss.” He groaned.

 

Jigen snorted, laying down beside him as he buried his face in his pillow. “Don’t you fuckin’ forget it either.”

 

Goemon’s quiet laugh came from behind him. “Glad to be of service.”

 

“You two’ll get a first class breakfast tomorrow morning.” Lupin mumbled, dozing faintly. “Whatever you want.”

 

“You’ll live to regret those words.” Jigen snickered, words muffled by his pillow.

 

Maybe he would regret them. He didn’t much mind right now. He was a lot more comfortable and tired as hell. He would return the favor in the morning.

Chapter 2: Oddities

Lupin definitely regretted his words, oh, he regretted them so much. The pain was back again, not that he would let on about that fact (though he was sure it was noticeable anyhow). It was painful to breathe, more than the previous night, but he couldn’t be still. He had things to do, after all. Breakfast to make for his boys.

 

Taking a careful breath, he flipped a pancake and checked the rice he was working on. He did owe them, after all. Pancakes and eggs for Jigen and rice and an omelette for Goemon, a first class breakfast for sure. He would have to tell them he had already eaten, too pained to join them for breakfast even if he wanted to. He would eat once it was gone, once the pain had subsided.

 

Hissing softly through another stab, Lupin glanced over when Jigen sleepily stumbled into the kitchen. He was always pretty slow to wake up, not that it bothered any of them much since they got to snuggle for longer on slow mornings. A sleepy gunman was particularly domestic, something Lupin couldn’t get enough of.

 

“Mornin’.” Jigen’s head rested on top of his own, strong arms around his hips. “Goe up?”

 

“Yup, in the shower.” Lupin nodded, closing his eyes as he leaned back into Jigen carefully. “Enjoy having the bed to yourself?”

 

“If you mean nobody hoggin’ the blankets, then yes.” Jigen snorted quietly. “Quite a spread you’re workin’ on there.”

 

“I promised you two a first class breakfast.” Lupin shrugged, flipping another pancake carefully. “I know you didn’t forget that.”

 

“Nope. Never would.” Jigen pulled away carefully, eyeing him from under his hat. “Ya still look like hell.”

 

“Psh..you’re a real peach, Jigen dear.” Lupin swatted at him with the spatula teasingly. “Just what a guy wants to hear.”

 

“Mhm. I mean it, though.” Jigen leaned against the counter, lighting a cigarette as he frowned. “Still feelin’ like shit? You’re tense and pale and those bags under your eyes don’t suit you.”

 

“…Probably just from being tired.” Lupin shrugged, keeping his eyes focused on the eggs. “I’m fine, promise.”

 

“Lupin..”

 

A door opened from down the hall and Goemon walked in, toweling his hair dry carefully. Lupin couldn’t be more relieved, honestly. He was fine and he didn’t need to have people try to convince him he wasn’t. Hell, he was Lupin the Third! If he said he was fine then he would be fine.

 

“How was your shower, Goe?” Lupin looked over, smiling softly. “Sure wish I could’ve joined ya~”

 

“Focus on your food, not my body.” Goemon blushed, pouting a bit as he threw the towel over the thief’s head.

 

“Like he could ever do that.” Jigen snickered, grabbing some plates as he passed one toward Goemon. “You know he’s a dirty pervert.”

 

“A dirty pervert you’re both dating, thank you very much.” Lupin huffed, throwing the towel aside as he plated both their breakfasts. “There we are, boys.”

 

“Bone apple tit.” Jigen nodded, smirking at his absolutely butchering of the French phrasing. “Y’know you think it’s funny.”

 

“Butcher someone else’s language.” Lupin crossed his arms, trying to hide a very betraying smile.

 

“Mhm.” Jigen snickered, popping a fork full of eggs into his mouth. “Not on your life.”

 

“Where’s your breakfast, Lupin?” Goemon looked up from his food, eyebrow cocked.

 

“I ate while you two were in bed.” Lupin waved a hand, starting to wash his meal prep dishes.

 

The two behind him went quiet, though he could hear their almost inaudible whispering. They had to be whispering about him. Ugh, of course they were. He was fine, he was always fine! That was his thing, coming out of things fine! They didn’t need to spend their time worrying over nothing.

 

Washing his dishes carefully, Lupin watched light from the window run across the skin on his hands. Huh….that felt really good. So warm..like a heater but more…loving? He didn’t remember the sun ever feeling this nice before…

 

~~~~~

 

“Lupin? Lupin, hey, Earth to Arséne!” Jigen’s hand was in front of his face, waving.

 

“Huh? Sorry, what?” Lupin blinked, hesitating as he took Jigen’s hand. “What’s up?”

 

“You’ve been standin’ there for over an hour.” Jigen frowned, hand on his shoulder. “The hell’s the matter with you?”

 

“Nothing. I’m watching Goemon do his morning workout.” Lupin shrugged, smiling softly.

 

“…Goemon finished that 30 minutes ago.” Jigen frowned more. “Your pasty ass is gonna get sunburnt standin’ out here like this, man.”

 

“30…?” Lupin looked around, frowning.

 

Had he lost track of time? He had been watching Goemon working out and then…huh. He couldn’t really remember, could he? The sun was so warm and inviting and…

 

“Lupin!” Jigen shook his shoulders, frowning. “What the hell, Lu? You’re spacin’ out on me.”

 

“Sorry, sorry. Probably just..lack of sleep catching up with me.” Lupin shook his head a bit, holding his hands up. “I’m good. I promise.”

 

“Mhm. Get your ass inside and lay down.” Jigen shooed him toward the patio doors, hand on his back. “I’m making lunch and you’re takin’ a break before I decide to tie you to a chair or somethin’.”

 

“Ooooo~” Lupin cooed, smirking as he walked inside.

 

“Shut the hell up!” Jigen huffed, pushing him toward the couch. “You know what I mean, freaky little bastard.”

 

“You love it.” Lupin smiled, sprawling across the sofa as he winked at the gunman.

 

Jigen only grumbled, waving his hand toward him like one would to a pest before going into the kitchen. Sighing from his spot on the couch, Lupin hissed as the pain in his side flared to life again. Damnit! Wrapping his arms around his torso, Lupin curled up on his side and closed his eyes. Whatever this was, he needed to sleep it off.

 

~~~~~~~

 

“Lupin? Lupin! Lupin, stop!”

 

Eyes flying open, Lupin blinked several times as he tried to orient himself properly. Hesitating slightly at a…unusual taste in his mouth, the thief looked down at himself and froze. Dirt. Dirt all over his lap, in his hands, across the floor, most certainly the strange (yet somehow inviting) taste in his mouth.

 

“What the hell are you doin’?!” Jigen hissed, pulling him back away from the potted plant he had ruthlessly taken dirt from. “Don’t fuckin’ swallow it-!”

 

Too late. Lupin had swallowed the mouthful of dirt he had, somehow not aggravating the pain in his side at all. Cringing slightly at the knowledge of what he had done, he couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with his partner.

 

“What the fuck , Lupin?” Jigen was bewildered, his grip on the thief strong. “What the fuck?”

 

“I…have no idea.” Lupin shook his head. “I was doing it in my sleep? I don’t…I don’t know.”

 

“What’s all the yelling about?” Goemon’s voice drifted over from the bedroom area, silence filling the room once again. “….what did you do to my jade plant?”

 

“Don’t tell him-“

 

“I just caught Lupin eatin’ the dirt outta the pot.” Jigen frowned, side-eying the thief. “Somethin’s wrong with him.”

 

“He…ate the dirt?” Goemon walked over, taking Lupin’s face in his hands as he frowned. “You ate the dirt…”

 

“Can we all stop talking about how I ate the dirt?!” Lupin groaned, huffing. “I did it in my sleep, I didn’t plan on it!”

 

“In your sleep?” Goemon pulled him closer, inspecting his face carefully. “You are not well.”

 

“Well obviously he ain’t well if he’s eatin’ dirt.” Jigen crossed his arms. “I told ya somethin’ ain’t right.”

 

“Look at him, though. Sunken eyes, pale..you feel warm.” Goemon frowned, shaking his head. “Let’s get you cleaned up and into bed, okay?”

 

“You’re making a big deal out of something little-“

 

“We definitely aren’t.” Jigen shook his head. “Goemon, you take care of him while I clean up in here. Knock his ass out if you have to.”

 

“Hey-!”

 

“I will not be knocking him out.” Goemon shook his head, gently taking Lupin’s hand. “I think we can come to a compromise.”

 

“What type of compromise?” Lupin frowned, cocking an eyebrow. “I’m not a child.”

 

“Of course not. But I know how much you enjoy co-bathing-“

 

“Okay, I’m in, let’s go.” Lupin nodded, not one to turn down a shower with one of his partners.

 

“Okay, fair enough.” Jigen shrugged. “I’ll leave ya to it then.” He gave Lupin a stern look before going to find a broom.

 

“Rude.” Lupin huffed, sticking his tongue out in the direction Jigen walked.

 

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” Goemon led him toward the back of the house carefully.

 

Lupin followed behind quietly. He was trying to save face, but something really was off. Eating dirt, spacing out, the pain in his body? Something was wrong for sure. He could only hope that it was pass soon and things could go back to normal.

Chapter 3: Downward Spiral

Lupin sighed tiredly as he carefully maneuvered his shirt off while Goemon started the water. Hissing loudly when the pain in his abdomen flared, Lupin gripped the edge of the bathroom counter to steady himself. What the hell was this?

 

“Lupin? Oh my-“ Goemon’s hands found place on his back and upper arm. “Lupin, are you alright?”

 

“…all good here, Goe. Just…Just need a second…” Lupin huffed, clenching his eyes shut as sweat ran down his face.

 

“You don’t look well at all…” Goemon carefully wiped at his face, cupping his cheeks as he looked him over. “You seem thinner than normal..have you actually been eating?”

 

“I mean…the dirt-“ Lupin mumbled, opening his eyes as the pain receded somewhat.

 

“Besides the dirt.” Goemon shook his head, frowning. “Have you eaten?”

 

“Not since yesterday…but that shouldn’t make me any thinner.” Lupin pouted, shaking his head. “I can’t be.”

 

“Mm..” Goemon hummed, nodding slightly. “That’s true, but you are.”

 

Lupin glanced down, hesitating slightly. He could see it now, how his skin seemed more pale than usual. How his bones stuck out more than they should. What the hell? What was going on with him? Glancing at the mirror, Lupin grimaced at what he saw. Dirt around his mouth, eyes sunken in and dark with lack of sleep…he looked wrong.

 

“Let’s get you bathed, okay? Maybe that will help.” Goemon gently ushered him toward the tub, carefully undressing him before lowering him in.

 

“Fuuuuuck...” Lupin sighed, laying his head back as he closed his eyes again.

 

The water was warm but…it was more than that. It was refreshing against his skin in a way he never knew. Like having a drink for the first time in ages but for the skin. It was like he was drinking it from the outside in almost. Fully relaxing as the pain in his side ebbed away almost completely, Lupin nearly dozed off where he was.

 

“Is it alright?” Goemon asked softly, gently pouring some water over the thief’s chest.

 

“It’s perfect.” Lupin nodded tiredly, cracking an eye open to regard him as he smiled a bit. “Thanks, doll.”

 

“Mhm.” Goemon offered a weak smile, wetting a washcloth as he cleaned the thief’s face. “You look a bit better now…are you painful?”

 

“Nah, it’s better now.” Lupin mumbled around the rag as he leaned into his partners touch. “Much better…”

 

Goemon hummed, cupping his cheek to clean better. “Rest. I will take care of you.”

 

Lupin hummed in response, eyes closing as he fully relaxed into the water and Goemon’s gentle touches. Dozing away, he became lost in the sensations and the sound of the water (and Goemon humming? What’s that what he was hearing?) as his mind blanked out. The water felt so nice, seeping into his very being. As he fully drifted off, the water sounded like wind through leaves.

 

~~~~~

 

Lupin wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he opened his eyes again but he knew two things: it was a significant amount of time and he was no longer in the bathtub despite the fact that he was soaking wet. Sitting up cautiously, dread welled up inside of him.

 

He was laying out in the yard in the rain, completely covered in mud.

 

What.

 

The.

 

Fuck.

 

Running a hand through his hair, Lupin cringed slightly as he looked around. He had obviously dug a hole and just…rolled around in the mud. Fuck, hopefully he hadn’t ingested anymore, though the taste in his mouth was convincing him otherwise. What the hell was the matter with him? Sleepwalking to eat dirt and roll in the mud? This wasn’t normal…

 

“Lupin?! Where the fuck are you?!” A voice cut through the dark, then another.

 

“Lupin?! Answer us, Lupin!”

 

Damnit! Goemon and Jigen were going to find him out here in the mud again like some sort of loose toddler! Quietly accepting his fate, the thief stood and made his way back toward the house.

 

“I’m here, I’m here.” He raised a hand, sighing softly. Why did it feel bad to leave the mud, worse than the dread and embarrassment he felt?

 

“Lupin! What the- what the hell are you doin’ out here?!” Jigen ran over, shining his flashlight on the thief as he frowned. “Jesus Christ…”

 

“Lupin, are you alright?” Goemon was beside him, checking him over. “I don’t know how you got past us…what were you doing?”

 

“Sleep walking again, apparently.” Lupin frowned, biting the inside of his cheek as the pain in his abdomen began to creep back in. “I dunno, just…let’s go back inside, okay?”

 

“This is gettin’ outta hand, Lu.” Jigen frowned, glancing around the thief toward the hole in the yard. “Did you dig a hole-?”

 

“Jigen, please.” Lupin grunted, pushing past him toward the porch steps. He felt weighed down…

 

“Lupin.” Goemon caught his wrist carefully, concern evident. “It is okay.”

 

“No, it isn’t.” Lupin huffed, pulling his hand away. “This is gross! Eating dirt, waking up in the mud, what about this is okay?!” He ran his hands through his hair, pulling at it slightly. “This isn’t-!”

 

Come back out.

 

You know you want to join us.

 

Wasn’t the mud so nice? The rain so refreshing?

 

The nutrients…the soil…

 

Return to the soil….

 

“Lupin? Hey, you with us? What the hell is goin’ on?” Jigen took his shoulder, waving a hand in front of his face.

 

“Huh? Wha-?” Lupin blinked, glancing around. Where was that coming from.

 

“You zoned out on us again.” Jigen frowned, squeezing his shoulder gently. “Eyes got all fuzzy and shit.”

 

“Let’s go inside and clean up, then we can discuss this.” Goemon frowned, carefully ushering him inside and out of his dirty wet clothes.

 

Glancing between Jigen and Goemon Lupin could tell they were thinking the same thing, he looked about as bad as he felt. He wasn’t sure what was wrong…how much more this would progress. He was praying that it wouldn’t get any worse.

 

~~~~~

 

Lupin laid on his side quietly as he stared from his spot on the couch out the window. The trees, he concluded, were what he was hearing (not that he would tell Jigen and Goemon that) and they were calling to him just about constantly now. The ache in his side had intensified significantly and it made it nearly impossible for him to move from his spot. He wasn’t going to tell them how uncomfortable he was, though. He put them through so much already.

 

“Lupin? You doin’ alright there?” Jigen leaned over the back of the couch, frowning. “Need anythin’?”

 

“Mm no, thanks, Jigen.” Lupin smiled weakly, looking up at him quietly.

 

“Man, don’t look at me like that ya sap..” Jigen huffed, carefully putting his hand over the thief’s face. “Freakin’ simp…”

 

Laughing tiredly, Lupin looked back out the window tiredly. Would this pass? He hoped it would pass. He missed actively spending time with Jigen and Goemon, he didn’t want to be their burden anymore. He wanted things back to normal.

 

“Man, I think you killed Goemon’s plant, Lu. Smells like it’s rottin’.” Jigen frowned, taking a drag from his cigarette.

 

Lupin hummed, biting the inside of his cheek. He would just agree. Jigen didn’t need to know that that was a new symptom too. He had given up hoping that it came from the mud incident after it wouldn’t wash out. Either way, nobody needed to know. He was fine. He would be fine.

Chapter 4: Over-Grown

Lupin could hear them whispering from his spot on the couch. Things about his health, things about doctors. He was not going to a doctor. That meant having to deal with Pops and he was not going to have to bother with that right now.

 

Rolling onto his back, Lupin wheezed slightly as he wrapped his arms around his middle. Breathing was difficult now due to the pain. He found himself choking on his breaths more often with every hour that passed, the stabbing pain running up into his chest and into his mid back.

 

“Lupin?” Goemon’s face hovered over his own through swimming vision. “Are you there?”

 

“…right here..” Lupin looked up at him, trying to keep his breathing steady and his eyes focused as he flashed what he hoped was a convincing smile.

 

Goemon hummed, cupping his cheek gently. “You’re worse…you need to see a doctor.”

 

“No. No doctors.” Lupin shook his head, hissing at a jolt of pain in his chest. “‘M good…so good…”

 

“Lu, you can barely even breathe right.” Jigen leaned over the back of the couch. “You look like shit.”

 

“Guys, I’m fine...” Lupin grunted, carefully pushing himself up into a seated position despite his tilting vision.

 

“Sure, if fine means ‘about to eat shit and die’.” Jigen scoffed. “Be realistic, Lupin.”

 

“Jigen-“ Goemon frowned, looking toward the gunman scoldingly.

 

Lupin cringed, trying to breathe through increasing waves a pain. He couldn’t focus on their conversation anymore. He felt worse, the pain was worse, and he felt like his insides were going to rip apart. Get up. He needed to get up. Something in his throat felt wrong.

 

“Lupin?” Goemon’s voice cut through the static running in his head, hands on his arm.

 

“Hey, you’re gonna fall-!” Jigen’s voice was tense, a warning.

 

Lupin grunted, grasping at his throat as his vision hazed to dark and he stumbled into someone’s arms. Wheezing and rasping in gasps, he felt like something was lodged in his airway all of a sudden. Where was his air? He couldn’t breathe.

 

“He’s choking!”

 

“What?! What the hell is he chokin’ on?!”

 

“Do something!”

 

Hands were grabbing him wherever they could manage, slapping on his back and trying to open his mouth through his gasping and choking. Was this how he’d die? Suffocating on something that came from nowhere Suddenly, he was on his hands and knees and, though painfully, he had managed to hack up whatever was in his throat onto the ground. Hands shaking, Lupin panted as he looked down at what had nearly killed him.

 

“What the fuck is that-?”

 

In front of him was some sort of piece of woody vine and some dark colored leaves, flecked with spots of blood that definitely explained the metallic taste in his mouth. Cringing as he carefully picked up the vine, Lupin could feel the thorns digging into his skin and he was sure that was at least part of the problem. Besides the whole vine being inside him in general problem…

 

“I….How even-?” Goemon was crouched beside him, expression a mixture of concerned and surprised. “This couldn’t be from eating the dirt?”

 

“Nah, I’ve never seen anything like that before…” Jigen frowned, looking it over from under the brim of his hat. “Lupin?”

 

“Dunno…” Lupin mumbled, laying on his side.

 

To be fair, he really didn’t know. But part of it was also just that he was too worn out to want to care at this point. He definitely should, he did in some capacity, but the energy put into finding answers was not something he had.

 

“This isn’t good.” He heard Goemon from beside him, hands on his back.

 

“Tell me about it.” Jigen sighed, footsteps heading toward the bedroom. “Keep an eye on him, I’ll see what I can do.”

 

~~~~~

 

“Alright, thanks. Call me when you figure out what it is.” Jigen hung up the phone, frowning.

 

He rarely liked to do things like this, but it was an emergency and he knew he could at least trust Fujiko for the most part with this. Asking her to go back to the lab for information was something he was going to have to owe her for, something big from what she said. Whatever, he would do that if he had to.

 

Huffing a sigh, Jigen stood from his spot on the bed and walked out of the bedroom. He would check in on Lupin and try to keep things calm until Fujiko got them whatever they needed for this.

 

“Jigen! Jigen, hurry!” Goemon’s voice came from the bathroom, panic ebbing in with each shout.

 

Sliding into the bathroom doorway, Jigen’s eyes widened as he saw Lupin leaned halfway into the bathtub as he retched and choked past more plant matter and dripping blood. Goemon stood beside him, gripping the back of his shirt desperately as he tried to find some way to give him relief.

 

“Shit-!” Jigen made his way in, slapping Lupin on the back firmly as he looked him over anxiously.

 

His eyes were wide and anxious, though hazy and clouded over from the lack of proper oxygen. Pale and sweaty, he looked like hell, especially with the blood dripping from his mouth and chin as he finished bringing up whatever was stuck in his throat.

 

“It’s getting worse, we have to see a doctor.” Goemon frowned, helping Lupin sit back carefully as he cleaned his face with a wet rag.

 

“What’s a doctor gonna do for this? Cut him apart? The cops will be all over the place even if we give him a disguise, y’know how Pops is.” Jigen frowned, scrunching his nose at the mess of blood and vines in the tub. Jesus…

 

“We can’t just let this go on! He’s going to suffocate at this rate!” Goemon narrowed his eyes, holding Lupin against his chest.

 

Jigen bit the inside of his cheek, watching the thief slump uselessly against the samurai’s chest. His breathing was so labored, wheezing and raspy and punctuated at times with coughs rough enough to bring up more leaves and flecks of blood.

 

“Look, I got Fujiko lookin’ into it, okay? She’ll get what we need and get back to us. We just need to keep him awake and breathin’.” The gunman rubbed at his nape, shaking Lupin’s shoulder softly. “Right, Lu?”

 

The thief barely managed a grunt in response, eyes struggling to focus on him as they rolled back slightly. Goemon’s hand was patting his cheek, trying desperately to keep him as alert as he could be. Jigen was beginning to doubt if he should be denying a doctor…even though Lupin was also denying a doctor. 

Halfway through the thought, Lupin lurched and choked, blood spilling past his lips before it bled into a more transparent brown substance. Hands gripping at his neck and chest, Lupin gagged and thrashed as wooden tendrils began to work their way out of his mouth. Freezing in terror, Jigen could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he watched. It was like the room had muted itself, Goemon was shouting something and shaking Lupin, trying to find some way to help him as tears and what had to be bloodied sap ran down the thief’s face as vines made their way from his mouth and began to coil around his body.

 

“Jigen!”

 

The sound hit him suddenly enough to make his breath catch, eyes wide as he shakily tried to tear sharp vines away from his partners body. Lupin gurgled around them, body nearly convulsing as his eyes rolled back in his head. Wheezing and groaning through breaths and blocked air, the vines began to wrap around his limbs, digging in with their thorns and ends enough to draw blood as they overtook the thief completely.

 

The shaking had stopped.

 

They were left with a limp, wheezing thief cocooned in vines.

 

“Fuckin’…Lupin? Lupin, can you hear me-? Lupin?!” Jigen shook him desperately, nearly hysterical from what he had just seen.

 

With a stomach churning snap, Lupin’s head jerked toward him. Though his eyes were rolled back in his head, Jigen felt like he was being stared down by something inhuman. Eyes wide, Jigen slowly began to move backward, gaze flicking toward Goemon.

 

“Goe…move slow… we need to back our way outta here-“

 

A snap.

 

Jigen felt the air leave his lungs as a knot of vines shot from Lupin’s arm and into his abdomen, sending him sprawling backward onto the ground in the doorway.

 

“Jigen-!”

 

Grunting as he held his sides, Jigen tried to manage his way backwards as quickly as possible. Lupin wasn’t in control of whatever that was and whatever that was wanted them dead. They needed to get the hell out of that bathroom and get some distance between themselves and the thief.

 

“Lupin! Lupin, stop! I don’t want to hurt you!” Goemon shouted, hand hovering anxiously over the handle of Zantetsuken. “Lupin, please!”

 

“You might not want to hurt him, but he wants to hurt us! Shove his ass in the tub and get out!” Jigen called, trying to keep his own hand from flying to his Magnum.

 

He could see the guilt on Goemon’s face as he quickly slammed his full weight into Lupin’s body, sending it crashing into the tub. He quickly ran to the door, shoving Jigen back quickly as he turned and slammed the door shut. Hands grasping the knob firmly as he held the door tight, Goemon looked to Jigen worriedly.

 

“What do we do? I can’t cut him down, I won’t.” The samurai narrowed his eyes, glancing toward the door as something slammed against the other side. He couldn’t kill Lupin.

 

“Fujiko’s supposed to be gettin’ back to me anytime. We need to either find a place to keep him or find a way to keep him from killin’ us until she gets here.” Jigen glanced around, trying to think of some sort of plan.

 

Something slammed against the door again, vines sliding their way between the door and the framework before ripping it from its hinges. Jigen and Goemon shouted as they stumbled backward from the shock, vines jutting out toward them quickly as Lupin stood in the doorway.

 

No. He wasn’t standing.

 

He was hanging.

 

The vines across his body were holding him upright, like some sort of monstrous spider from hell coming to drag them into the depths. Jigen could feel the hair on his body stand on end, hands shaking as he grabbed onto Goemon’s wrist and ran to the front door. They had to get the hell out of here.

Chapter 5: Creeping

Goemon stumbled after Jigen, glancing back at the monstrosity pursuing them out of the house. He was sure that this was from the nuts Lupin had taken from the lab, he had even told Jigen as much when Lupin began to feel unwell. They just had never imagined that this would be the final result…

 

“Goemon, hurry it up!” Jigen barked, jerking him to the side as a vine narrowly missed them from behind. “Shit-!”

 

“We can’t just keep running like this! We have to try to contain him somehow!” Goemon frowned, watching the vines carry Lupin after them.

 

It was unnerving, shaky and halting, like some sort of staccato puppet made by a macabre mastermind in a nightmare. Lupin’s cocooned body hung limply in the center of the vines, blood and sap merging with tangled woody vines and sparse foliage. It made him feel nauseous to see, especially knowing it was Lupin in there.

 

His stomach lurched suddenly as something caught around his ankle and jerked his body backward. Crying out, Goemon found himself hanging upside down in front of Lupin. He could hear the thief struggling the breath past the vines in his mouth, rattling and wheezing in a way that made his own chest ache as he watched blood and sap drip from his chin. His unseeing eyes seemed to study the samurai for a moment, and he could hear Jigen shouting from where he had previously been running.

 

“Lupin….Lupin, please…I know you are in there somewhere..! Fight this!” Goemon frowned, searching for some type of recognition. “Fight mph-!”

 

He was choking.

 

Eyes wide as he gagged and struggled, Goemon could feel the vines writhing their way down his throat. He could see them, protruding from Lupin’s mouth and into his own, feel them making their way deeper into his body. They were sharp, it felt like they were slicing up his insides like a blade. Was this what Lupin felt? What he struggled against for all those days? The pain he had endured? Struggling to breathe past the infernal plant matter, Goemon could feel himself shaking from the lack of air, his eyes burning with tears as they began to cloud over with the haze of unconsciousness…

 

“Goemon! Lupin, stop!”

 

His body hit the ground and he felt the vines dislodge from his airway just as quickly. Writhing as he gripped his throat, Goemon gasped and coughed as his hands shook. He could breathe again! He could feel blood running down the back of his throat, uncomfortable and raw, but he would live. Blinking past tears, he could see Jigen and the mass that was Lupin struggling on the ground nearby. Panting, he staggered to his feet and gripped the hilt of Zantetsuken tightly. He needed to get Jigen and get as far from Lupin as he could.

 

~~~~~

 

“Goemon! Lupin, stop!”

 

Jigen slammed his full weight into the thief, knocking him down and sending Goemon tumbling onto the ground roughly. Holding as many vines as he could, Jigen struggled to pin Lupin to the ground as he grit his teeth.

 

“Snap the hell out of it! Look at what you’re doin’, Lupin!” He shouted, eyes flicking to the vines that were managing to snake their way along his body.

 

Fuck! This wasn’t good, he couldn’t take Lupin like this. The vines, he could feel them wrapping their way up his legs from his ankles, around his wrists and up his arms from where he held them in his hands. They dug into his flesh with how tight they wound themselves, rough bark cutting into his skin and making blood run from underneath.

 

And then it started pulling.

 

It wasn’t a quick pull, but it was strong and slow, an ache that turned into a painful pressure that became sharp and all-encompassing. He could feel his joints trying to separate, the skin pulling too tight as limbs were stretched to their very limits. He was screaming but his ears were ringing too much to really hear anything else. Something in his right shoulder shifted and his vision went white to the point where he was sure he was dead from having his arm ripped off.

 

Eventually, his senses slowly returned to him. His body was buzzing, nothing felt quiet right, up felt like down and vice versa. Notably, his shoulder felt an odd burning sort of numb that made him have to check if he still had an arm at all, though thankfully he did. He could hear Goemon struggling, shouting muffled in his still ringing ears before his body was suddenly snatched up and jostled roughly enough to send his screaming and grabbing for his shoulder to quell the agony he was suddenly in

 

“I’m sorry, just hold on!” Goemon’s voice made its way through the screaming, hands carefully repositioning him as quickly as he could.

 

Gasping and panting, Jigen realized it was Goemon who had grabbed him and that they were running once again. Trying to keep his vision steady, he could see Lupin’s silhouette trying to keep pace in pursing them in the distance. Huffing a sigh, Jigen pressed his forehead against the samurais shoulder as he tried to get his bearings.

 

“Jigen?” Goemon stopped for a moment before he turned and continued to run. “You need to stay awake.”

 

“I’m not goin’ anywhere…just needed a second...” Jigen lifted his head, frowning. “Bastard ripped my shoulder outta place...”

 

Goemon grunted, eyes narrowing. “I heard. And saw.”

 

Jigen cringed. Right. It wasn’t a pretty sound to hear, the way joints dislocated. Lupin had done it a number of times, it was never something they really got used to despite how easygoing the thief was about it.

 

“So what now?” Jigen glanced around. “I can’t just shoot him, especially not like this. I don’t think we can trap him for long either.”

 

“No, I don’t believe we can.” Goemon frowned, slowing his pace to a walk before eventually stopping. “We’re limited in our options. I can reset your arm but using it will be out of the question for sure. We can’t just take Lupin out either. We need a solution.”

 

Jigen frowned, nodding as he sighed. “I’ll think of somethin’, just…hurry up and pop it back in place already.” It was starting to ache in a more pronounced and hard to ignore manner.

 

“Alright.” Goemon carefully placed his hands on Jigen’s shoulder and upper arm.

 

Jigen always hated watching Goemon help Lupin with this. He hated having to help with it when Goemon wasn’t around. He was sure he was going to hate having it done on his own body. Goemon mumbled something in Japanese under his breath before moving quickly.

 

The same blinding white flashed across his vision, his throat going raw from the pitch he was screaming at.

 

“Jigen! Jigen, breathe!” Goemon’s hands were gripping his collar, shaking him slightly. “Be quiet before he finds us!”

 

“Motherfucker!” Jigen hissed, throwing his head back as stray pain tears made their way down his cheeks. “How the fuck does Lupin do this to himself so often?!”

 

“How does he manage to do anything he does?” Goemon mumbled, letting go of the gunman as he frowned. “Take your jacket off. We need a sling for your arm.”

 

Jigen carefully maneuvered out of his jacket, handing it off to Goemon to let him do the doctoring as he glanced around. He could hear Lupin in the distance, vines creaking and stumbling across the underbrush. They needed to get somewhere where they could watch him without being spotted.

 

“The trees.”

 

“Huh-?” Goemon glanced at him, tying the makeshift sling off as he sat back.

 

“If we can get up into the trees we can watch what he does without him seein’.” Jigen pointed toward the large limbs above them. “We can wait for Fujiko to call.”

 

“…I suppose that could work.” Goemon nodded, standing. “You’ll have to hang onto me.”

 

“I can manage it.” Jigen shakily stood. “Let’s hurry.”

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Lupin III: The Creature Feature