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Name is nothing special in Hugo’s opinion, it doesn’t bear any power nor does it symbolize something special. It’s just, well, a name, something to use if you need to address somebody or maybe curse them in your mind. So it shouldn’t mean anything special, it shouldn’t bother Hugo that Jiwoo wanted to name their first kid after her saviour, after his saviour, but it does.
Geon was a special person, insanely powerful and awfully kind in his own ridiculous way, outshining everyone else in any field he decided to pick up. He was in a way like a shooting star, unreachable, bright beyond measure and burning out fast. His body was covered in scars, hair falling out and cells breaking apart, incapable of keeping up with his monstrous abilities. So Hugo knew that he would die, that one day it would be too much for his friend to stand up again and he would be gone forever. But Tower was not supposed to be that place, Geon was going strong that day, none of his usual aches bothered him, he was on top of his condition and yet he did not return.
It wasn’t a heartbreak per say, archer knew that this day would come eventually, that’s just life. But it was close, something shattered in him that day, fuelled him with scorching scarlet rage enough for him to charge at all remaining saints with promises of painful death. But Hugo is not Geon, he is not the best inventor and Earth’s strongest defender, he is himself and that was enough for him to be crushed, so he lost painfully and pathetically. Weakness is a sin after all, and Sagittarius is full of it.
Since then no one has come close in terms of abilities to Geon and no one probably will. They say that geniuses like him are born once per millennia and Hugo can’t help but agree. So if no one can replace Geon, no one can catch him why can’t he fathom the idea of someone else bearing this name? It’s not like they can replace him, no one can. But why Hugo rejects the very idea, very existence of a second Geon?
Logically, out of all people it’s him who has the biggest right to name kid after his friend. Hell, him and his wife make perfect sense together as well, both saved by Geon. And it’s not like she is the first person to have thought of that, Korea has to deploy several laws to prevent half of next generation being named after national hero. At one point it even becomes forbidden to name kid after him, but Hugo probably will be able to pull through, make a public stunt and dramatic teary story and his kid can be wear the coveted name like a badge of honour.
But, well, it’s not that easy. He has to create memories with his kid, he would never abandon him, but how can he look at brat without seeing silhouette of someone else. It’s pitiful enough that Hugo sometimes catches himself comparing his wonderful wife with him and finds her lacking. Gods, he truly loves Jiwoo, adores her even but they both are painfully aware that archer’s heart will never be hers alone.
So can he even dare to think of someone else named Geon?
Hugo laughs at himself, deplorable and disgusting. He should be thrilled and yet he feels like even his kid would taint the name, the memories that are connected to it. What a joke, albeit a fitting one, a failure like him is already failing as a father. How could he think of his unborn kid as a stain on his own memories?
He turns back, ready to leave the balcony, heart-breaking decision burning his throat and clawing at back of his eyes, archer can’t let his feelings eat Jiwoo’s joy and kid’s future pride. But then a shooting star falls and he feels himself tearing up.
Decision he made that he can’t be like that, he can’t take away from Jiwoo anymore, can’t take away the honour from kid, crumbles into dust, like it never existed in the first place. He almost falls to his knees, feels full as if someone made him swallow rocks and then exploded them inside his stomach. It wrenches his heart, turning it in place, twisting all veins and tearing them apart, until his blood floods the lungs, so now he cannot breath as well.
Hugo would have preferred the humiliation of being beat up by fucking Taurus than this. Never this.
This is how his wife finds him, her stomach already packs a visible bump, as she lowers herself down to his lever, to hold pathetic useless saint with her kind hands. Hugo bites his lips just not to sob out loud, Jiwoo hears it anyway.
“Oh, Honey,” she starts, words saccharine directed at undeserving wrench like him. “We don’t have to name our kid after Geon…”
He hears note of disappointment in her voice, regret sipping through. He feels like whaling and begging her for forgiveness, Geon means hope to her after all and he dares to take it away by being unbearable disgrace. Instead, he only manages to grab at her shirt and beg for mercy.
She sighs as she cradles his shaking form, hands playing with his hair. “You know, in Korea parents name their children with idea, with hope for their future,” she starts, and, well, he knows it, she told him before. “Geon means strong,” she continues as she feels his shoulders jerk in something akin to fear, what a foolish husband he is.
“But Oh Taeksoo means something else,” she feels Hugo tense, she knows she is threading on the edge, forbidden territory that only Lee Geon was allowed too, but she thinks man would forgive her once if it means helping archer survive one additional night. “Oh means noble and Taeksoo means great or strong,”.
Her husbands breathes out a sob, clinging to her stronger as he falls apart once more. It pains her heart to see him broken to so many pieces, his usual façade destroyed revealing ugly unhealed wounds. Jiwoo places kiss atop his golden head, holding him tightly.
She wonders if Lee Geon, their saviour and her husband’s death, would kill her for twisting the truth. Maybe, one day she can tell her dear saint about, when he isn’t held by loose threads of responsibilities and compassion. But today she will be selfish for his sake, for them both, and if push comes to shove she can face her hero without hesitation if it means that Hugo can sleep one night without nightmares. Also she can a strong feeling, he would agree with her, after all Taekso also means beautiful.