Chapter 1: Missions
Chapter Text
"Hawks, we have another mission for you." Madam President said, resting both hands on her desk.
"Already?" The hero frowned jokingly to hide how disappointed he actually was to not get a break after two weeks of chasing quirk booster dealers through the city. "I came back from the last one yesterday." A short rest will be good for me, don't ya think?, he didn't say out loud.
"I apologize for the inconvenience, but I'm afraid we mustn't delay this any longer." Madam President said calmly.
Hawks sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. You know I'll do it regardless. What do you need me for?"
Madam President waited a little before answering firmly. "We need you to spy on the League of villains."
Hawks quirked up an eyebrow, surprised. "Spy on the League of villains? What's that about?"
"They've been taking many unexpected turns and right now, we have no idea where they are. With Kurogiri's quirk on their side they can travel wherever they want in a matter of seconds. Tomorrow they might decide they want to rob the biggest bank in Japan and they could." She shook her head. "The League's way too unpredictable and we can't have that if we want to catch them anytime soon."
Spy on them? Like see where they are at all times? It does seem like the perfect job for my quirk, Hawks thought.
He nodded and titled his head to the side, giving his boss a lazy smile. "Alright then. I'll be a spy. What do you want me to do?"
"First, of course, you have to find them. Then be convincing enough that you're on their side. We want you to join the League of villains and give us information."
Hawks' expression froze at this.
Shouldn't be that hard, right? His job is to be with villains, who want to cause trouble, the whole time, so this was just another encounter with them. The thing was, though, that Hawks couldn't stop them even if he wanted to. They'd go off robbing and murdering people and he had to take a step back and let them do whatever they wanted. Even thinking about it made the hero uneasy.
It doesn't matter, a voice in his head spoke. His quirk was basically made for this — feathers being able to understand whispers from twenty meters distance only through vibrations and voice waves.
Hawks cleared his throat. "Why not find them secretly and just get more heroes to attack? Wouldn't that be easier?"
"You see, we thought about this, but has any recent attack that we've done gone our way?" Madam President was speaking calmly, like she already knew what Hawks was going to ask. This was a kind of annoying habit of hers for Hawks, but he never really thought about it.
She looked Hawks in the eye, making him straighten his back out of habit. "That's why we want to be prepared better next time. To attack from the inside and outside. We- No. You have to learn their weaknesses and their strengths. To see how they attack and think. Their mind process when they formulate a plan and how they're able to split the jobs for each person. Our next attack has to be the last one. This will only be achieved if you see what they're planning to do next. And when they're least prepared we'll launch an attack and lock them up. But we need to know that we can beat them for sure."
Madam President gave Hawks a soft smile that didn't reach her eyes.
Hawks rubbed his mouth in thought. The plan seemed alright and it made sense. Giving that they weren't even remotely close to finding any traces of the League, it'd have been useful if Hawks went to investigate. The last proper attack that they launched ended up with one hero who was dead, two with missing limbs and five with a third degree burn. And the villains still managed to escape, without any major injuries that may leave people to guess whether or not they'd be alive. It was a total humiliation for all the heroes and they had to withdraw their attacks for now. This happened a few months ago and since then, no one bothered the villains if they didn't do something first.
If Hawks accepted the mission it would have been hard for him but it would for sure be helpful for the commission and everyone else.
He put on a grin and bowed down low. "It'd be an honor for me to take the lead to the League's downfall."
The bow hid his worried expression and obviously fake smile that gladly no one seemed to notice. When he straightened up, he looked calm and confident again. Madam President nodded.
"Good." She took a huge binder from a shelf in her overfilled desk and put it in front of her. "This is everything we know about the League till now — their quirks, theories about their past and facts about it, where they have been, and where they could be. Look through it carefully and formulate a plan. I want you to start your searching Tuesday."
Ugh, that was my only day off, Hawks thought, but didn't voice it. Instead he nodded firmly and took the binder with one of his feathers. When it was in his hands, he gripped it tightly.
"You can count on me."
Madam President nodded. "No one can know about this. You mustn't seek help from anyone by telling them about your mission. If anyone finds out you're putting the chances of beating the League and yourself on the line."
Hawks had his hand in the handle of the door for half her speech. After she was done, he sent her one of his significant grins and opened the door to exit. "Don't worry. I know what I'm doing."
~~~
Just when he was flying away, the commission's building a few meters away, Hawks allowed his face to drop. He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly.
Hawks was more than suitable for the job, that was sure. He knew how to be convincing, stay calm in dangerous situations, and think quickly. The saying about him being "too fast for his own good" didn't come out of nowhere. If he didn't think fast enough, he wouldn't be able to act fast enough. This was a skill of his that he was quite proud of.
And his quirk was especially useful for this, since he'd be able to eavesdrop safely. Hawks never shower his quirk off to other kids in the commission, never pushed it in their face that his quirk was amazing or thought any less of the others. Sure, his wings were his pride and joy, but no one needed to know that. He didn't always love his quirk. As a kid, he thought that, since he didn't know how to improve his quirk than just controlling a few feathers at once, then he was useless. He couldn't even use them well enough to help his mother, until the HPSC took him in.
Hawks can't lie, he didn't really like training with the commission's methods; they were rough and not many kids were able to handle it. But they helped him improve to being the number two hero at just twenty-four. Not like he cared about rankings, he just wanted to create a world when no one had to go through what he did as a kid. If they didn't push him to his limits, how would he know what they were doing when the cameras were off? If he didn't go through all this he wasn't going to ever know or understand.
Hawks knew why the commission did all this. It was cruel and brutal, but hero society will crumble if they didn't have control. Even if they had methods for working with villains that were questionable some times and were able to decide futures that they shouldn't have any power over. Despite all this, it was protecting a balance between what ordinary people could see and appreciate about heroes and the real toughness of the job. And Hawks knew that. It really was necessary, but the kid soldiers definitely weren't and he was going to die on that hill.
He was going to kill as many villains as he had to, make terrible choices that will haunt him for life, not sleep so he could find villains until he physically couldn't move anymore, do awful immoral things — just so no one else had to live with them.
Maybe he thought a bit highly of himself; there are many strong willed heroes that could handle what Hawks was 'protecting' them from. But he had training, he knew how to deal with it already, there was no reason for another person to just start having this shadow following them for the rest of their life.
As Hawks was flying to his apartment, he opened the binder to look through it. Toga Himiko, Spinner, Kurogiri, Shigaraki Tomura, Mr Compress, Twice, Dabi — all the current members of the League that they knew of. He looked through their quirks and ability analysis
Hawks scrunched his nose. None of them seemed much of a threat to him except for Dabi. And there was way too little information on him for Hawks' liking, too.
Hawks put his wings through hell and back to make them stronger and be able to resist anything. But one thing that was and forever will be his weakness is fire. No matter what he did, his feathers burned easily. And in the files it was said that Dabi's fire was extremely powerful, even comparable to Endeavor's. Hawks wasn't scared of Dabi, he wasn't scared of any villain. He just hoped that they wouldn't have to fight directly, because there was a possibility that Hawks was going to lose.
He shook his head to get the thought away and closed the binder. He had three days to formulate a plan. Looking through the files at home, when he could make notes and write down possible plans and/or ideas would be ten times easier than in the air.
~~~
Hawks was woken up to the sound of a phone call. He lifted his hand with great effort, rubbing his eye to remove the sleep and answered without looking at who was calling.
"H'llo?" He muttered, suppressing a yawn.
"Hawks, where are you? We were supposed to meet for a quick breakfast before our shift. If you've forgotten I will drag you to the next crime scene by your ear!"
Hawks' eyes plugged. Shit, he did in fact totally forget about his meet up with Miruko. He cleared his throat in attempt to make his voice not sound so deep and sleepy.
"Me? Forget? No, I just happened to fall asleep, you know how it is with the many investigations and stuff, yeah? I'm on the balcony already, give me five minutes."
There was silence for a second, where Hawks held his breath to see whether Miruko fell for it or not. He still tried to spot his thrown on the floor jacket so he could grab it. When he leaned to pick it up Miruko spoke again.
"So you are getting dragged by the ear to the next crime scene, good to know."
"Non sense, I'm almost there!" Hawks said, not at all almost there, and hung up. He closed his eyes just for a second, before throwing a glance at his research.
The reason why he was still asleep was because he stayed up the whole night thinking what he should do and how to find them. Hawks originally planned to just learn about them and rest before his shift, but when he kept rolling around in bed, unable to keep his eyes shut for more than a minute, he got up and went back to look through the files. He did think about a few ways to find them and they were probably written down, somewhere in the mess. At some point he must've finally fallen asleep, until Miruko called.
Hawks took a look at the clock on his phone. 5:43. Miruko has been waiting for twenty-three minutes... She was so going to rip his head off.
He barely took his shoe before jumping out the balcony and speeding up towards the cafe they were supposed to meet at.
~~~
"I'm sorryyyy." Hawks trailed off, pouting jokingly to hide a smirk that was threatening to appear on his face.
Miruko eyed him up and down before looking back at her coffee and chugging it down. When she put the cup on the table, she called for the waiter to order another one, before sending Hawks a glare. "Idiot."
"Come on, Rumi, this is the first time it happened!" Hawks tried to justify himself, but he almost wanted to swallow his words right back when Miruko's eyes glinted threateningly.
"'First time'? First time he says- Do you want me to-"
"No." Hawks cut off, looking down at his half eaten cake.
Miruko scoffed, but her expression seemed to calm down a bit. After a moment of silence she spoke calmly to him. "What is it this time? Why are you pushing your limits again?"
"Who said I'm-" He tucked his lips in when Miruko gave him another look. Why bother, she can always tell, Hawks thought. He sighed, expression turning serious. "I'm permitted to tell you, or anyone else, about it. There is a new mission I have to go on and..." He thought about it before answering. Miruko didn't push, only started at him, curiously. "And, I won't lie, I'm a bit nervous. It's just too big and I can't fail."
Miruko nodded and furrowed her eyebrows in thought. After a moment she gave him a small reassuring smile. "If it's such a big thing then they've chosen the right person. There's no one better at those missions than you. Only problem is that you overwork yourself too much." She narrowed her eyes at him, as he looked away, like the wall had turned into the most interesting thing in the world. Miruko gave a smile at this for a moment before flattering it and turning serious again. "I'm sure you'll do just as good as the missions before. Even if it's big, you always manage to overcome it at the end. That's just who you are. So don't stress over it. And for the love of god, rest. The world won't end if you sleep for a few hours."
Hawks gave her a lopsided smile. "Yeah. I'll manage, I always do. It's just... a bit worrying, but-" He shook his head. He was just being dramatic. "Everything will be okay at the end. Just another mission, right? Nothing to worry about?"
"Just another mission." Miruko nodded and said a quick 'thanks' to the waiter that gave her the cup of coffee.
Hawks looked outside the window at the passing people. Miruko was a very close friend of his; she's been for a while now. He knew that he could trust her with everything, this especially, but it would be putting her at risk too. It was true that she is also a hero, who risked her life constantly, but she already had to worry about her own cases, there wasn't a point for her to worry about Hawks' too.
Rumi was his first close friend after Touya. He never really had another after him. When they first met they didn't like each other at all. Touya found his feathers being everywhere annoying and Hawks didn't like the way he obviously thought he was better than everyone else in there. His ego was so frustrating, but they were assigned to share a room and they had no choice, but to be together in their free time.
Of course, they were stubbornly ignoring each other the first week. After that, they slowly started talking more and more about little things, until the little things turned into helping each other with studies, then turning into telling each other about people who annoy them, and then they finally admitted that they're friends. They were inseparable the whole time when they could, and they had no one else than each other. Both of them were the other's first best friend.
It wasn't easy for Hawks to stay with the HPSC after his only friend was gone. Not just any friend, but Touya. Touya who never gave up and was basically the reason why Hawks continued his training. Touya who did all those amazing tricks with his fire, even though they burnt him. After his death Hawks almost entirely gave up on training. It was so bad, he faked being sick (which wasn't hard, since he looked sick) and stayed in his room all day. He even stopped eating at some point and the people there had to force him to put at least a little food in his mouth.
He did slowly start to come back to his senses and realize that nothing was going to change and he had to stand the fuck up and continue with life. Everything seemed to end when Touya died and Hawks was convinced it did. But it that wasn't true. Nothing ever stopped, not even for Hawks — his life continued, even while he felt like it had ended. This was not something Hawks was able to accept easily.
Because he had never felt like this. Like something was gone forever. When his father was locked up he only saw the freedom he was about to have in the future. But with Touya (more like without him) he just felt like something important was missing. He couldn't find even make it real in his head until the second night. He cried once and then felt nothing. A black void took over any emotion he felt. There was nothing. He couldn't even feel worried or scared about not feeling anything. He had never felt something like this in his life. When he snapped out of it after two weeks he decided he never wanted to feel like this again.
So he never got attached again.
Hawks had friends. He adored Miruko and would die and kill for her if it was necessary. But it was never the same after Touya. He was only letting people on the surface of him. Screw touching his heart, no one even managed to dig a bit deeper in his skin. Only Rumi got far ahead than anyone else, but there was steel, stopping her from going any further. And Hawks didn't know how to remove this wall. He wanted to get closer to people, he really did, but for reasons he still couldn't understand, it was hard. He didn't understand what was so difficult about it. But he also didn't understand how people let others get to them so quickly.
It was a mush in his head about all this, so he never really thought about it. He just kept going, never thinking about Touya, except on his birthday and the day he died, when he wrote him a letter that no one was going to receive. They were all sorted in a shelf at the corner of his room. Hawks didn't know why, but he never put them on Touya's grave or burn them or do anything other than just throw them in his drawer until they collected dust. He couldn't bring himself to do something with them, not even think about it after hiding them away. Best thing about his childhood and he never even thought about it. Ironic, when you think about it.
Miruko drummer a few times on the table, pulling Hawks back from his thoughts, and looked at her phone. Her eyebrows shot high up. "Good talk, but we need to go, we're late by eight minutes already."
"Shit." Hawks' eyes widened. He quickly shoved the rest of the cake in his mouth as Miruko chugged down second coffee with one big gulp and they sprinted out of the cafe, leaving maybe too much money for a tip.
~~~
"He's coming your way, Hawks!" Miruko yelled through the earpiece. Hawks didn't waste a second and sent a dozen of feathers flying around, closing his eyes. Soon enough, he felt one of them getting burned completely to ash. Hawks smirked. Gotcha! He immediately sped through the blue fires, zig-zagging to where the feather disintegrated.
It was pure coincidence that Hawks happened to meet a member of the League just as he was about to look for them. He wasn't sure exactly how he was going to convince Dabi to let him join. He wasn't even sure if he was going to persuade him now. More like he wasn't going to talk to the villain at all, if it wasn't necessary. Hawks still had his duties as a hero and there were people inside the building that burned down.
From every villain that decided to attack the closest to where Hawks was, why did it have to be Dabi? This was the worst match up for the hero. Just his luck.
The heat made Hawks rub sweat drops off his temple. In just a second after going to where the feather disappeared, he saw a figure that seemed to be running through the flames. Hawks raised his feather-sword to attack, but the villain seemed to have seen him flying his way and quickly shot a wave of flames at Hawks. The hero barely escaped, patting out the end of his wings to put out a few flames that caught them. When he was sure they weren't on fire anymore, he raised his eyebrows, amused.
Dabi saw Hawks come to him? It wasn't impossible but it was for sure rare. Hawks was known for his speed and sneakiness, which was one of the reasons why he was so hard to be defeated. Which meant that Dabi wasn't to be underestimated under any circumstances. The day kept getting better and better.
Just as he was about to run, Hawks sensed someone coming his way from behind. Sure enough, when he turned around it was Dabi, already raising his hands to shoot even more fire at him, this time closer so he won't miss.
In a second, Hawks swung his sword, but Dabi caught it easily. Blood started dripping down from where he gripped it tightly, but not a single trace of pain showed on the villain's face. Just then Hawks noticed his eyes. They were ocean blue and cold as ice. There was a trace of familiarity that Hawks got so hypnotized by that he almost didn't notice Dabi's other hand inflaming and charging at him. The hero quickly jumped back, flying away as fast as possible, but it was too late.
Blue flames started spreading quickly on his left crimson wing. He flapped it around and sent the feathers flying off, but regardless of that, the damage was already done. Two thirds of the wing was turned from beautiful red to a burnt and brownish color. He didn't stay long to dwell on it and started backing off.
"Hawks, are you there!" Another hero's voice came through the earpiece.
He tapped it and answered, "I'm okay. But Dabi slipped off. I couldn't see to where."
"He's not in the left part!"
"Not in my area, too, as far as I can see!"
"Is anyone watching the back exit?"
"Kamui Woods should be there!"
"Woods? Woods!" Hawks called for him. "Woods, can you hear me?" No response. Hawks grimaced. "Shit."
He sped through the flames once again, this time heading for the back exit. It was much harder with so little feathers, but he was used to it, just a bit slowed down. It was hard to see through the blue fire and smoke, but he managed to reach the corridor with the exit in no time. Just as suspected, Kamui Woods was laying on the ground and he did not look good.
Hawks carefully picked him up and spoke through the earpiece, walking away as quickly as he could, since flying was too risky.
"I found Woods. He seems badly injured. I'll take him out, but he definitely needs an ambulance. Is everyone else out?"
"Everyone that was in the building when Dabi inflamed it is out, according to the people there. You can come back."
Passing through the corridor, Hawks almost missed a man, hiding behind a column. Hawks' eyes me with two other ice-cold blue ones and his heart skipped a beat.
Dabi's eyes had a dangerous glint in them and there was a small smirk, hidden in the corner of his lips. Like he was glad Hawks saw him and would see the person who was about to burn him to ash.
Even if Hawks wanted to, he couldn't attack while holding another person and cause good enough damage. Sending feathers won't be any better, since if they didn't get burned right away, Dabi was absolutely going to fire at him and Hawks wasn't convinced he could dodge a third time. He was searching through his mind for a plan, but ended up with nothing. Kamui being there definitely made it a lot harder. If he was alone he had a variety of choices of attacks. But now there was another life on the line and he couldn't do any of them. There was one plan that was too risky and way too out of Hawks' comfort zone, but he couldn't think of anything else.
Dabi didn't move at all, only stayed there, smirking, obviously aware of Hawks' dwelling on whether or not it'd be appropriate to attack. The villain raised his hands, the movement regardless of being slow making Hawks tense up, and shook them lightly from the wrist as if he was pointing out the fact he didn't carry a weapon. He wasn't attacking, just watching Hawks' mind rush through ideas, eyes wide. Dabi was basically toying with him. But there was nothing on the hero's face that could actually reveal what was going on in his head.
"Hawks, is everything alright? What's taking you so long? Did you find Dabi?" Someone called through the earpiece, making the hero jump slightly. He raised a hand to his head slowly, without breaking the eye contact with Dabi. The villain raised an eyebrow and inflamed his hand in warning.
Hawks only gritted his teeth for a moment, before forcing himself to put on his usual slight grin.
"No need for that. I won't rat you out." He told Dabi, who only raised his eyebrow higher. Hawks put a finger on his ear. "I'm coming, I'm coming. No one is here, don't worry. It's just more difficult when I'm not flying."
"Hurry up."
Dabi kept staring at him with curiosity in his eyes. Before he could move at him, Hawks sent the villain a small grin and started walking again, the same patient speed, leaving him behind. Please don't inflame me while I'm walking away, Hawks chanted in his mind a few times, clenching his jaw. He wasn't able to see how the villain reacted, but Hawks was able to get out of the building without getting torched, so these were good news.
Just then, he told the other heroes that he may have seen Dabi running away through the back exit, but when they went inside, there was no one. When the firefighters came to the scene, everyone was out, disappointed from Dabi's yet another escape. Kamui Woods was sent to a hospital quickly, but he was treated by the best doctors, so Hawks was sure he'd be okay.
He looked around to see the civilians that the heroes pulled away from the scene, getting treated by paramedics. No one looked badly hurt, for which Hawks was glad. One of the paramedics examined him for injuries, despite Hawks repeatedly telling her he's fine. Only after she made sure of that herself she went away, leaving Hawks alone.
When the winged hero made sure everything was under control, he felt his knees getting weak and crouched to the ground. He was aware there wasn't a way for him to catch Dabi then, but fuck, he just let him escape! Avoiding direct fight was one thing, coming this close to a villain and doing absolutely nothing was a whole different matter. Who knows how many people Dabi will hurt before he gets caught because of Hawks. This day really couldn't get any fucking worse.
Hawks took a few deep breaths. This was the only thing I could do, this was the only thing I could do, this was the only thing I could do.
The knowing smirk Hawks gave Dabi was to give off the illusion that Hawks wasn't against him and like he was letting the villain go. Since at the moment he couldn't find a proper and realistic way to attack Dabi, Hawks had to think in the future. This was a serious gamble with his life — and Kamui Woods' — since he basically left it in the hands of a villain, known for being heartless. Hawks turned his back on him and didn't look behind once. But at the time, his mind instantly turned to his recent mission and decided to at least make his convincing easier.
(But the guilt was there, in the back of his mind. Pulling him harshly into delusional thoughts about attacks he could've done instead of letting Dabi go.)
"...Hawks? Hawks!" A voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Hawks looked up to see Miruko, watching him with a weird expression.
"Hm?" Hawks cleared his throat. "Is something wrong?"
Miruko crouched beside him. "You tell me. Are you alright? What happened?"
Hawks frowned. "Nothing? I'm fine. Why'd you ask, don't I look fine to you?" He bit his tongue. Too defensive, he scolded himself in his mind.
"You look kind of... gloomy."
Hawks sighed. "Well, yeah, how much time has it passed and we're still not even a little close to catching Dabi. He slipped off again! I'm starting to think he's doing these crimes just to make us chase our tails. It's just so frustrating!"
This wasn't a lie, but it definitely wasn't the reason why Hawks was gloomy. Miruko seemed to believe the answer, since she visibly loosened up.
She sighed. "Yeah, I get it. Dabi's a pain in the ass, but we'll probably get him next time. He's getting more and more predictable. It won't be long before we throw him in Tartarus."
Hawks nodded. He really hoped this day would come soon.
~~~
"That's so annoying," Hawks mumbled to himself as he turned around the corner of another dark street. For the past ten days, every afternoon and night he spent looking for the League of villains. Hawks didn't know where exactly to look so he just walked through dark alleys and what was considered 'dangerous' streets. Nothing. Not a single hint on where the League might be. He didn't bother to cover his wings, since it'd have been difficult, but maybe he had to attempt to cover the fact that he was a hero at least a little. Maybe the villains got scared off or something. Those wings were pretty recognizable, even if they weren't at their full size. There were more feathers than after the last fight with Dabi when he burned down that building.
Hawks kept walking through the alleys before he sensed movement behind him. He immediately turned back, but didn't see anyone. It was dark, no street lights in sight, which made that place simple to hide in. Spreading his wings a bit, he sensed breathing from the darkest part of the alley. The hero stopped.
There was a silence for a moment, where neither he, nor the person hiding moved or spoke. Then Hawks heard a low snicker.
"You lost, hero?" A deep voice echoed through the streets. Hawks narrowed his eyes, but he still wasn't able to see who was speaking to him. When he didn't answer the person moved forward. Then a blue flame appeared, revealing Dabi, coming closer with a mocking smirk. The fires reflected in his eyes, that had their usual dangerous glint in them.
Why him again?, Hawks thought, but he didn't dare complain any further. This was the closest he was to finding the League in the past days and he was so glad for the opportunity. He just had to be careful not to get turned to ash.
Hawks smiled back, raising both hands to show that he's unarmed. Before he could get a word in, Dabi shot a wave of flames at him. Hawks sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth and jumped to the side, hitting his back against a wall. He pushed the flames away with a big output of wind from quickly unfolding his wings with a sharp whoosh. He still felt the almost unbearable heat before putting the fire out. Dabi lifted his hand to charge at him again, but Hawks put his hands in front of him, defensively.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, don't shoot, I come in peace!"
Dabi only raised an eyebrow before sending more fire his way. Hawks' movements were limited by the narrowness of the street and he couldn't push himself against a wall like he did a moment ago, since Dabi wasn't going to allow it. The hero jumped up, flying swiftly above Dabi, and put a feather-sword to his back the moment his feet touched the ground.
"Do you think I'll take a nice late walk through dark alleys without a reason?" Hawks spoke quickly. Dabi turned his head to look at the hero, who pushed his sword against his back in warning. After a second he moved away, but didn't lower the sword. Dabi turned around fully and looked pointedly at the weapon.
"Put that down. You can't beat me." Then he gave a smile that reminded Hawks of the way a wolf bared its teeth. "If it's just to keep you comfort and give an illusion of safety, then keep it up. It's not an issue for me."
Hawks clenched his jaw. Dabi was so frustrating. He was aware Hawks was no match for him and he was going to push it in the hero's face as much as he could. Hawks didn't lower his sword, but he didn't do anything else either. Dabi titled his head to the side, amusement glinting in his eyes.
"So what's the reason for coming here, hero?"
Hawks took a breath in. He went over it, while he was walking.
"I have an offer for you."
"For me? I'm flattered." Dabi raised both eyebrows this time.
Hawks gripped the sword tighter. "Yes. I give you whatever information you like about heroes, missions, and other stuff I can easily get for you, and in return you let me join the League of villains.
Dabi blinked at him, then straight up laughed in his face. Hawks gritted his teeth in annoyance, but didn't say anything. "What, you got tired of kissing ass the whole time? Continue playing heroes with your friends, pigeon, that's not going to happen. The League isn't a club to join because you're bored."
Hawks narrowed his eyes at him. "I know that. Hero society is fucked and I can't deal with it anymore. That's why I-"
"Shut up." Dabi pushed down the feather-sword, but Hawks raised it up again. Dabi ignored him and took a step closer, forcing Hawks to move the sword to the side so it won't go through the villain's throat (even though he really wanted it to do just that).
"If you fly away fast enough I won't burn your wings. You made me laugh so you get to fly away while you can."
Hawks stared at Dabi for a moment. Was this guy joking? "I don't want to fly away, I'm being serious! I want this system gone and, sadly, you and the League are my only way of achieving this."
Dabi shrugged. "Too bad." Right after he said it, the villain launched one arm at Hawks, reaching for his neck. Hawks moved to the side and grabbed Dabi's wrist, making the villain take another step forward. Hawks knew they were way too close for the hero's liking, since a wave of flames from that length would definitely hurt like hell if he didn't die from it.
Instead of pulling away or shooting flames like Hawks expected him to, Dabi twisted his hand, that was caught by Hawks, and managed to get closer. He punched the hero hard in the face, causing Hawks to get dizzy. He felt a warm liquid pouring from where the punch landed on his nose and a strong scent of iron. Dabi used this moment to catch the hero by the throat and slam him against the wall behind him, making his head bounce from the impact. Hawks had to fight to not lose consciousness and tried to blink away the blurriness of his vision.
He gave a poor attempt to remove Dabi's hand from his throat, but it was fruitless. He turned back and forth, trying to push Dabi away, but he kept a strong hold on Hawks, unmoving, even with just one hand. The grip on his neck tightened and Hawks started fighting for a single breath of oxygen. Just then he sent a dozen of feathers at Dabi, half a centimeter away from going through the villain's jaw, the rest pointed at his back.
Dabi started heating up the hand holding Hawks by the neck, but the hero pushed one of the feathers against his jaw just enough to draw a few drops of blood.
"Let go... I'll kill..." Hawks croaked out, but he couldn't get any more words out. His thoughts were beginning to blur as panic threatened to take over his entire brain.
"Not very heroic of you to threaten to kill someone." Dabi's voice seemed far away. Hawks tried to look at him, but he couldn't focus his vision. Before he realized, one feather pierced the villain's forearm throughout. But even then, Dabi's hand kept a firm grip, not even twitching to show that he felt pain. (Fuck, fuck, fuck.) Did Hawks really have to kill him? When he finally got so close? Dabi's overly high pain tolerance was sure a big issue. There didn't seem to be a way for Hawks to get away if he didn't kill Dabi or talk him out of choking the hero. And talking wasn't easy right now...
"I'm not... a hero... anymore..." He tried to rasp out. If Hawks felt himself starting to lose consciousness, he was more than ready to pierce all the feathers through Dabi, loosing all the progress to finding the League. One more villain down, they might not even need Hawks to be a spy if he killed him.
This scenario didn't come since Dabi pulled back, dropping his hand away from his chokehold. Hawks immediately fell to the ground, coughing and gasping for air as he tried to take a proper breath in. He wanted to grab his sword to not seem as vulnerable as he was, but he found his body unable to move. His vision was just starting to clear, so he didn't see when Dabi turned around to leave.
"Don't... Don't walk off." Hawks said, his voice raspy and low from the chokehold. He sent a few feathers in front of Dabi to stop him, but they were all immediately burned away. Despite that the villain turned around to face Hawks.
"The League doesn't need you. And we both know you don't actually want to overthrow hero society. I mean, really, number two? You're definitely sent to spy on us or something, do you think we'd want to get discovered for a few pieces of useless fake information? Snap back to reality, I'm not as fucking stupid as your records of me probably say."
Hawks' vision was finally back to normal and he could see Dabi's sharp cold eyes. They looked down mockingly at him while he tried to stand up again. Hawks slowly pulled himself back on his feet with effort and gripped tightly the feather-sword that seemed to have materialized itself into his hands.
"I didn't kill you now." Hawks said like it was a good enough argument to oppose Dabi's words. He swallowed, ignoring the way his throat hurt from the effort.
"Like you could." Dabi shot right back.
"I let you go when you burned down the building."
"Not like there was another option for you." Dabi smirked. "You don't have anything, pigeon."
"You don't even want to listen to me explaining why I want to join!" Hawks furrowed eyebrows at him, pointedly.
"Oh, you've rehearsed a reason? Let's hear what you came up with." Dabi titled his head to the side and crossed his arms. The blood from where the feather went through was dripping on the ground, but Dabi seemed unbothered by it. Hawks took a breath in before starting.
"I was being serious. Everyday I get told what to do, how to save and who to save. I wanted to be a hero to help people, but every single one of them seemed to be ungrateful. They get mad when I don't act the way they want me to. I feel trapped. And for the past year I've been thinking about how messed up hero society is — advertising, modeling, fan service — that's the only way a hero can reach higher ranking and popularity, which seems to be the only reason anyone wants to be a hero. I can't keep doing this. That's not what a hero is supposed to be. And you and the League, you seem to have found a way to stop this. And as much as I don't like it, you are the only ones that are doing something for this bullshit."
"Then back off and let us work," Dabi said.
"I want to help. You need someone from the inside to beat them. Even if you don't trust me, use me. Any smart villain wouldn't pass on an opportunity to easily get information they need. Of course, I have my personal reasons, too, for this."
"Reasons like?"
"Not any of your business."
"You sure you want to be mysterious when you convince someone you're on their side?"
Hawks clenched his jaw and looked down. "It doesn't matter."
"Let me decide that."
"Fucking leave it! It's not important. Just- a thing a friend of mine thought about hero society and I used to agree with them, but now they're-" Hawks cut himself off. "Leave it," He said quietly at the end.
Dabi observed him carefully, making Hawks hold his breath. His eyes were firm on Hawks', like they were searching for anything that might reveal uncertainty. But Hawks had enough training to not show anything. He stared right back, the eye contact dragging for a minute. Dabi's turquoise eyes seemed to keep their glint, regardless of any situation. Why did they seem so familiar?...
"I'm not obliged to tell you shit about the League," Dabi stated at the end.
"Until you start trusting me, I'm cool with that." Hawks tried to cover a sigh of relief.
"Ever. I'm not obliged to tell you shit ever."
Hawks stayed quiet.
Right, so this could be a problem.
"Is that an issue?" Dabi raised an eyebrow, like he read Hawks' mind.
The hero took a breath in and shook his head. "No, of course not, it's just... Well, I want to be informed on the progress and stuff, you know? At least this for the information-"
"You'll get hero society down for the information." Dabi smirked. "Or is that not enough for you? Is there another reason why you want to help?"
Hawks suppressed the urge to roll his eyes and turned his head away. "Do as you wish," He gritted out through his teeth.
"Of course I will." Dabi took a step closer. Hawks immediately tensed up and raised his sword. The villain scoffed, but he didn't take another step. "Don't think you're part of the League or something, the only thing you'll be doing is giving information. Know your place, hero."
Hawks gritted his teeth once again. He wanted to ask Dabi do many things about the League and the way he was going to use this future information, but he kept it down. This was another step to defeating the League, but Hawks didn't realize the process will be so slow. Dabi obviously didn't buy it, but at least they were going to meet again for more information. These would be the few minutes when he'd attempt to convince Dabi he's on his side.
"How do I get you to trust me then? Because as much as I'd love to give information to you blindly, I really think you'll waste so much potential by being afraid I'm not on your side."
Dabi's hands inflamed, making Hawks spread his wings slightly, ready to defend himself if necessary.
"I'm not afraid of you, hero. Until now I haven't heard a single truth coming out of your mouth. But you're right about one thing." Dabi titled his head to the side, lazily. "It will be easier if we have a person on the inside." An idea seemed to have popped up in his mind, since something in his eyes changed. Hawks had a bad feeling about it. Dabi smiled. "On the other hand if you really want to prove yourself so badly there might be something you could do."
Hawks shivered. Dabi's smile looked uncanny and the way his staples pulled on his skin from it, didn't help the creepiness. Hawks has seen many villains with quirk modification that made them scary, but Dabi didn't have any of that. His purple skin and staples were all his or someone else's doing, there was history behind it. Deep down, if Hawks didn't know better, he would've been spooked out by him.
Dabi let his hands fall from where he had them crossed. "You say you're ready to be a villain, but can you kill, hero?"
Hawks' heart skipped a beat. His calm and collected mask finally broke and his eyes widened, before blinking them back to normal. Dabi didn't miss it, though. He barked out a laugh and spread his arms open.
"For now, I'm fine with just information. But if you want me to tell you plans and get you to meet the rest of the League, you need to prove that you have the guts to be a villain. If you want us to consider whether you should be a member of the League, bring me the dead body of a hero." Dabi shrugged and looked away. "But if you're cool with just giving information and waiting patiently for us to do something, then do just that." Dabi's eyes turned sharply to Hawks, who sucked a breath through his teeth. The villain still had a smile, but now there seemed to be something dark behind it. "If you're doing it for that shitty friend of yours, you should consider what he'd want. If he was really stupid enough to-"
Hawks pushed the sword against Dabi's neck. The small wound from the feather that scratched him when he was choking Hawks started leaking again, this time the cut slightly wider. The hero gritted his teeth so hard it ached. "Don't talk about him. That's the one line you shouldn't cross, because I swear to God, I don't care about not joining the League afterwards, I will kill you."
Dabi stared at him. His expression seemed calm as ever. Then he smiled and gripped Hawks' sword until his hand started bleeding the same way he did in the burning building. Hawks didn't move his eyes away from his even for a second. It could be interpreted as trying to stand his ground or find something that might give the villain away. But in reality, he wanted to understand what was it about them that Hawks found so difficult to look away from.
Dabi took a step back and before Hawks knew it, the villain started walking away.
"Give me Endeavor's hero schedule for a start," He said without turning back. "Then I'll see if you're worth getting information from."
"Wait-" Hawks wanted to go after him, but a big wall of blue flames separated him from Dabi. Asshole, Hawks thought and jumped to fly above it. But when he saw where Dabi was, the villain already had his hand raised and immediately shot another wave of fire his way.
Hawks cursed under his breath. He was forced to retreat and fly back so he won't get caught up in the flames. Hoovering above the fire in one place for a moment, he decided to just let him go. After all, they were supposed to meet again. Even though Hawks had no fucking idea how.
~~~
"This piece of shit," Hawks muttered, touching his neck, where Dabi held him tight. He swallowed with great effort, face scrunching as he did. This was definitely going to bruise, and not only because Hawks bruised easily. Dabi was definitely stronger than he looked.
And that pain tolerance... Hawks knew there were people who could put up with pain easily, but Dabi got pierced with a feather that made a whole exit wound and he didn't react at all. Not even a twitch. Was it possible that he didn't feel any pain in general? Hawks had to put this into consideration.
He sped up his flying. It was good that he could finally fly around instead of walking around, in hopes of stumbling randomly across a villain that might get him closer to finding the League.
'Can you kill, hero?' Dabi's words echoed in his mind. The thing is, Hawks should've expected this. Villains were cruel and (at least most of those who Hawks went on missions for) murderers. So obviously they'll want Hawks to kill someone to prove he's on their side. And he has killed before, it's not something new. The commission made him kill off criminals that might be way too big of a threat in the future. Although that's extremely rare, it did happen two or three times, enough for Hawks to force himself to forget what he dreamed of as a child.
When Dabi asked him that question, it was the many thoughts that rushed into Hawks' head that made his eyes widen. "I will", Then "How much would I?" "A hero?" "Who'll be famous enough to convince them, but not good enough for the hero's side to lose". Hawks was ready to make that sacrifice and he was scared of this fact. When was the turning point? When did he stop believing in his 'No killing' rule and turned into a 'Whatever it takes' type of person. He hated the way the HPSC made him think.
(Don't villains do the same? Don't they kill for their own beliefs, or because someone told them to? How different are you really from them? Those questions never left Hawks' mind ever since he first started killing. He pushed the thoughts away. He always pushed them away.)
I won't kill anyone during this mission. I'll find another way. That's why I'm a hero, Hawks promised himself in his mind. He just had to find the League's weaknesses and future plans so the heroes' side could form an attack. But still, it didn't quite depend on Hawks the way it did on Madam President and whatever she decided.
Hawks really didn't like Dabi. It used to be only because of his sadistic mocking and him obviously being able to defeat Hawks easily. But like hell the hero was going to allow him to insult Touya without even knowing him.
Hawks didn't know why he even mentioned him. He was looking for more reasons to give on why he wanted to join the League, something he could be familiar with so it'll look more honest, and the way Touya used to say 'There are many things that are not perfect in hero society, but we can definitely fix them if we're heroes together!', this is what popped up in his mind. Hawks didn't like remembering their time together with the commission, it opened an old wound. But for some reason he thought about him, connected a reason with him and almost ruined all chances he had with convincing Dabi he's on his side.
The way the villain spoke about him made Hawks' blood boil. '...if he was really stupid enough'. Hawks couldn't let a villain, that he knew Touya was going to hate, talk about him that way. How dare he say something so-
Hawks' brain halted to a stop as his eyebrows furrowed.
How did Dabi knew his friend was a 'he'? Hawks was absolutely sure he never mentioned it. There was no way he could've known. Maybe it was a lucky assumption (but why would he assume this?).
Hawks shook his head away from the thoughts as he reached his apartment. He landed carefully on the balcony and unlocked the door. For the first time in weeks, he was genuinely feeling tired. He decided not to waste this one in a lifetime opportunity and went straight to bed, ignoring all the rethinking he did and the stuff he had to do after waking up.
Chapter 2: Wish that you would stay in my memories
Summary:
Dabi's POV!
Notes:
The title for this chapter is from the song Memories by Conan Gray, because it won't be me if I don't connect everything I do with him >_<
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Back already?" Shigaraki muttered, like he was disappointed Dabi came back earlier. When the dark haired villain saw his boss, he was holding a console and played something with Spinner, who was sitting next to him. Dabi went to the bar to get a first aid kit from the shelf above it.
"How did stalking Hawks went today?" Spinner asked, aggressively tapping his console. Dabi rolled his eyes.
"I'm not stalking him, lizard."
"Then what is it that you're doing?" Spinner seemed to have lost whatever he was playing, because he groaned and tossed the console on the floor. When he finally looked at Dabi, he seemed to notice the dried blood on his neck and forearm. Spinner's eyes widened. "Shit, are you okay, man? What happened?"
Dabi stayed quiet, when he finally found the first aid kit and took it out. He walked through the room to the couch and sat down next to Shigaraki. His boss did a double take, but seemed to not care enough to ask, since he just scooted away and turned his attention to the screen with the game.
Spinner, on the other hand, stood up and walked next to Dabi. "Do you want me to get Kurogiri?"
"It's a few scratches, I don't need Kurogiri." Dabi rolled his eyes and unfolded the bandages. He felt Spinner's eyes on him the entire time he treated his arm. When he couldn't ignore them anymore, Dabi looked up.
"This time Hawks noticed me, took him some time, and he actually had the balls to pierce me with a feather. Honestly, I was surprised."
"You fought him?" Spinner asked, shocked. Dabi noticed even Shigaraki raising an eyebrow to that. He let out an annoyed sigh.
"He's a coward, I knew he wasn't going to kill me. He couldn't even if he tried, anyway."
"You fought who now?" Mr. Compress came out of his room, yawning. He wasn't wearing a mask, so Dabi was able to see the way his hair looked like a bird's nest from the sleep. Compress seemed to have woken up for some reason and went to the living room. He immediately halted in place, his eyes stopping at Dabi's bloody arm, that was currently being bandaged. "The hell happened to you?"
Dabi elbowed Shigaraki, who immediately turned his head to frown at him.
"You'll want to listen to this." Dabi explained, tightening the bandage before making a knot. It wasn't the easiest thing he's done, given he had only one hand free, but he managed. "Hawks told me he wants to join the League."
Shigaraki blinked at him. There was silence for a moment before he asked, voice monotone. "Is he joking?"
"Seemed to be serious."
"And what, you agreed?"
"Fuck, no," Dabi said like the idea was an insult. "I don't believe him. But he said he'll get information from the inside for the League. Might be worth a shot."
Shigaraki raised an eyebrow, telling Dabi to continue. The dark haired villain lay down on the couch. He explained how he offered Hawks to give information whenever they asked, but until he brought the corpse of a hero, Dabi wasn't going to tell him anything about the League's plans. He told them the reason Hawks made up about hating hero society, and blah, blah, blah. He only left out the detail that it was about his old friend.
"I told him to bring me Endeavor's hero schedule for a start."
Compress frowned. After hearing that Hawks wanted to join the League he gave up on sleeping and pulled a chair from the ones on the bar and sat beside Shigaraki to listen.
"But we don't need Endeavor's schedule?" Compress looked at Dabi confused.
"I'm aware," The other villain stated. He crossed his arms. "I still don't know if he'll give me real information. That's why I asked him for something I already know."
"You know Endeavor's schedule?" Spinner asked.
"By heart."
The League looked at Dabi for a moment. No one knew about his past and the reason behind his obsession. No one ever asked, not indirectly either. He spoke again.
"If the schedule is correct then I'll ask him for stuff we might need in the future."
Shigaraki nodded. After a second he scoffed out a laugh. "Do you think he'll actually kill a hero to join?"
Dabi gave a lazy smirk and looked up at the ceiling. "No. He won't kill anyone. Not just a hero."
~~~
"Touyaaa," Keigo trailed off, resting his cheek on his fist.
"Not now," Touya replied, trying to put his entire concentration on keeping the fire in a sphere. Small wisps still came out, ruining the smoothness of the sphere, even after all the training. He didn't really need to perfect this trick, since it won't be helpful in a real mission, but he wanted to be able to do it, because honestly? It looked really cool.
"Come on, let's try it again! It'll help both of us!" Keigo kept trying.
The fire sphere started letting out more and more wisps. Touya dissolved the ball, annoyed. He couldn't concentrate enough if Keigo kept distracting him, so he turned his attention to his friend.
"Are you sure your feathers have grown enough for this?" Touya asked when he looked over Keigo's wings. They weren't at their fullest length, but they weren't small either.
Keigo didn't need his fluffier and smaller feathers and he'd let go off them so bigger ones could grow. This is how he and Touya invented a game. Keigo will close his eyes, let go of some of his feathers (not sharpened so they won't hurt anyone) and make them fly around. He'll try to touch Touya, with only one at a time, while the blood-covered other tries to burn all of them, using small flicks of fire. This trained Keigo to control many feathers at once, Touya's reflexes, ability to control the size of his fire, and both their coordination. They had to be really careful to not break or burn something in the room (for now, they had only burned a small hole in the curtains). But if Touya saw him trying to sneak in bigger feathers, he stopped the game, no matter how much Keigo said that 'just a few more feathers is okay'.
"You shouldn't waste all your feathers on small things like this," Touya commented.
"I know when is enough!" Keigo protested.
Touya scoffed, going in the center of the room to get in position. "Sure you do." He lifted his hands up and looked at Keigo, who sat on the bed and crossed his leg. "Ready?"
The other boy took a breath in and closed his eyes. After a second he nodded sharply. "Ready."
Many feathers sped up all across the room, turning and zig-zagging like hundreds of wild birds. Touya couldn't keep up to watch all of them, but he tried his hardest to memorize their movements. He noticed that Hawks made each feather do one figure on repeat. He had pointed this out to him before, but Keigo seemed to still find it difficult to think about all of them doing different movements.
Touya turned in a circle to look at how many feathers moved behind him. One of them was doing specifically quicker and more complex moves than the others. Touya smirked and waited. Just as he predicted, a second after the feather sped up towards him. In an instant he flicked a small fire at it, burning it in place.
"Don't make the movements of the feather that's attacking different, Keigo. If you try to make it unpredictable by moving it more than the others villains will mark it."
Touya allowed himself to steal a glance at the other boy to see him furrowing his eyebrows, eyes still closed. He didn't say anything in return, but the feathers slowed down for a second before he sped them up again. The moment when they were slow Touya flicked two quick flames at the feathers, burning them to ash.
"Don't lose focus," He warned and turned around to observe the feathers that reached their usual speed.
Keigo grunted annoyed, but remained silent.
Touya almost missed a feather that changed its way last minute to attack him. He reacted quickly, but this reserved to his flame being a bit bigger than just a flick. He muttered out a quick sorry before ducking forward. A feather missed his head by just a millimeter. He grabbed it and turned it to ash.
"No catching," Keigo warned from the bed. Touya forced out another apology.
He managed to burn another two feathers that attacked him, before the third one hit him just under ribs. He looked up to see Keigo trying to hide a smile. Touya clenched his jaw and turned just in time to burn a feather, aimed for his back. Rude, he thought but didn't voice it. His eyes turned to a feather zig-zagging obviously going towards him. Predictable, Touya thought again. He barely looked at the feather before burning it, eyes scanning the other feathers. When he put his hand down another feather shot at him. But he already expected that and effortlessly shot a flame at it. He smirked at Keigo, who frowned disappointed. The glance costed him getting hit on the back of his head by a feather. He yelped out an ouch, and sent a glare Keigo's way. The other boy finally let the corners of his lips go up and laughed.
The next three feathers that attacked him were burnt to ash.
"Let's raise the difficulty," Dabi said, fingers twitching before he inflamed his hands.
Keigo grinned and sped up the feathers more. They twirled and spun in circles and other confusing shapes. This time Touya didn't wait for them to attack before sending shots of narrow fire their way. Many of the fires missed from poor calculation of speed or Touya falling for tricks that he should know better than to believe. But he didn't miss any of the ones that went to shoot him directly. This time, he was allowed to catch them, but he didn't really have the opportunity to do so, since they were more than just fast.
Still, he trained with Keigo everyday, knew him better than anyone, and he was able to catch one of the feathers aiming for his stomach. Touya felt something hit his side. He gritted his teeth and flicked a flame towards the feather that hit him, but it swirled around the fire and flew away.
Hit, burn, hit, burn — they were taking turns at attacking and firing, both concentrated on gaining unimportant points.
Soon enough, after what could be interpreted as minutes or as hours, there was only one feather left. Keigo's entire attention was now on this feather, so the way it moved was even more complex than before with the many feathers. It twirled around in circles, spiraling in the air to avoid the flames coming it's way. Touya took a step to the side to avoid it crashing into his chest, but he couldn't reach for it fast enough to grab it.
They turned, moving like a dance of waltz, but neither him, nor Keigo backed off. Touya felt a sweat drop on his forehead. His hands were stinging from the constant heat, even if it wasn't as bad as when he went all out. Despite feeling tired, he still acted just as quickly when the feather came his way, stepping to the side and trying to burn it.
Just when he thought he could reach it, the feather flew through the flames on his palm and turned up to touch him below the jaw. Touya didn't expect that, but he still managed to pull back and finally get a swift, but firm grip on the feather. It buzzed like crazy in his hand in attempt to get out, but Touya didn't let go.
He crouched to the ground, breathing heavily, and turned his head up to look at Keigo. "I win." He opened his hand, allowing the feather to go back to it's place.
Keigo blinked open his eyes slowly and let out a deep breath. Pushing himself off the bed, he walked to Touya and kneeled beside him. "Ugh, you were so ahead of me this time! I can't believe this..."
"Not... that much. You were fine," Touya mumbled despite his will. He did dislike admitting people were fairly good at something he should be the best at. "I was just three points ahead of you."
"No?" Keigo shook his head. "I told you not to count the ones that are fatal."
"What's the point of not counting them, you'll still win against the villains?"
Keigo seemed taken back by this. He looked to the floor and muttered, "I don't want to kill them."
"But we'll have to," Touya noted, confused by Keigo's reaction. Wasn't it obvious? "Well, not always. If a bad guy doesn't want to surrender and he's trying to kill you, sometimes you'll have no choice, but to do it first. Or at least hurt him bad enough so he won't be able to help."
Keigo shook his head. "I won't kill. Ever. This is for the villains. They're the ones who kill, not me. I might hurt them badly, but never fatal. If I do, you might as well call me a villain."
Touya stared at him. Could this work? Was Touya aggressive and cruel for being ready to kill if he didn't see a way out of a situation? He really wanted to be a good hero. And this could only be achieved by catching many, many bad guys. It'd be nice if Keigo was able to achieve being a good hero while not killing.
Touya felt a tension starting to grow so he scoffed out a laugh. "I still win. And also, what was that last move? I don't think you've done it before."
Keigo thinned his lips and looked away. "I really thought I was going to get you with that one. My feathers can burn, but not that easily. If they're fast enough they can go through the least heated part of your fire. I discovered that, while you weren't looking, just now. So I wanted to make you think I'll turn around, but go through the flames and get you." He grunted out the next words, visibly disappointed. "It was probably stupid, since you still managed to catch it easily."
Touya stared at him for a moment before also looking away. "Nah, it was... It was a good shot. I almost lost a point there. You did catch me off guard, I didn't expect that... It was a good attack. You did well." He mumbled out most of the words. It was a rare thing for Touya to give straightforward compliments and he wasn't sure how to do it properly. Nonetheless, Keigo seemed to find them good enough to get the usual spark in his eyes back.
"Really? You're not just saying this to make me feel better, right?"
"When have I ever said something, instead of criticizing, just to make you feel better?" Touya raised an eyebrow.
Keigo seemed especially happy with this, his wings moving up and down. Touya rolled his eyes, but smiled.
"You're still doing one figure with each feather. And some of them slow down before you sent an attack. Reason one of why I won. Reason two is that you keep doing the same thing before you attack with a feather. A twirl, a quick zigzag and shoo. Stop thinking about that feather specifically."
Keigo pouted slightly, but he carefully listened to Touya's criticism, nodding each time the other boy pointed out a mistake.
At some point they had moved to sit on Keigo's bed, Touya rubbing away the sweat with a towel. He let out a sigh and titled his head towards Keigo.
"I think it's time to go to bed."
"What?" Keigo looked at the clock on the wall. "It's only 9pm! What are you, a grandpa?"
"Ha ha." Touya narrowed his eyes at him. He got up and went to look for his pajamas. "I'm sorry for wanting to get enough sleep. It's not like we won't wake up at 6am tomorrow."
"We always wake up at 6am."
"I know and I don't want to be tired. You shouldn't be either, you have senses testing tomorrow. Your concentration will be bad if you don't get enough sleep."
"You sound like a mom," Keigo complained, dropping face first on the bed.
~~~
Dabi opened his eyes to the sound of raindrops hitting his window. The rain came suddenly and just as quickly as it came, it turned into a downpour. He stared at the the water, going down the glass, for a moment before turning his attention back to the ceiling.
He created a small fire sphere and tried to keep it in place. The fire inside turned and busted the invisible walls, fighting to get out, but no wisp escaped. It was easy to control now.
Dabi sighed. He hadn't thought about his time in the HPSC for years, even after Hawks became the number two hero, he still managed to bury these thoughts deep down. But this conversation with him unlocked the box he kept the memories in and he started remembering everything.
How he talked with him, how they trained together, how Dabi would collect his feathers when not around and stuffed them into Hawks' pillow as if to say 'clean them up'. How he'd use Hawks' real name when no one was with them, even though Keigo told him it was forbidden to use. How they'd create hundreds of games and challenges to train and prove that one was better than the other. The constant rivalry between them that didn't ruin their friendship in any way, their dreams to become heroes together-
Dabi squeezed his eyes shut and dissolved the blue fire sphere into many wisps that made a few swirls before disappearing completely.
Those weren't bad memories. Quite the opposite actually, they were amazing memories. But Dabi couldn't help but remember how badly it ended every time he thought about them. And they pulled him back in a past he didn't need to dwell on. Touya was long gone and he was not coming back, so there was no reason for him to think about this.
'...a thing a friend of mine thought about hero society'. That's what Hawks told him was one of the reasons why he didn't want to be a hero. Dabi smiled in spite of himself. He used to say that people have separated entirely heroes and villains the same way they separate black and white — you can only be one; gray doesn't exist. From a young age, Dabi started considering whether everything about the way society saw heroes was okay. It wasn't anything big, just what a small minded kid that's bored could think of.
He noticed that people gave credit only to the last hero to catch a villain. If they have a flashy quirk, that's when they'd be considered the best. There's a smaller hero, who fought tooth and nail to beat the villain, leaving them with a last hit before defeat, but then another more famous hero decides to join, taking said last hit and the small hero is left with no one watching him, no credit for his hard work and zero points in defeating the villain. Of course, this was the least important issue little Dabi could find, but it enough to make him look around for other cracks and unfairness.
But no matter how many issues he discovered, nothing stopped him from the fact that he wanted to beat All Might and be the best hero in Japan, or even the entire world. He believed that when he achieved this, he could manage to solve everything that was wrong with hero society. Childish dream, Dabi realized it now. But the thing that fueled this flame was no other than Hawks; or rather Keigo.
Because the Keigo who Dabi remembered was much more different than Hawks. Keigo was ready to run away with Dabi, to become vigilantes, not heroes, so they can do whatever the hell they wanted. And Dabi loved this future they made for themselves.
Hawks, on the other hand, was everything Keigo used to dislike.
Dabi realized the way the commission wanted them to act; on command, do this, sacrifice that just to protect the piece. He hated it. He didn't want to be treated like a dog on a leash, waiting to be let go to act, before getting tied up again. That's why he planned to train there for a few years and then continue with his father.
Now Hawks was doing all this. His wings were being slowly cut, taking away the freedom to fly freely. He was already like a bird with a thread around his leg, cursed to never reach the sky. Dabi knew well they weren't ever letting go of him. He wondered how long it was going to take for Hawks to realize this. The thought that he might already have, but decided not to do anything, disappointed him to a whole new level, that he didn't even want to consider it... But if he was honest, this was the most probable option.
Ever since he was a kid, Hawks was much more selfless than Dabi. Of course, he also hated being told what to do, he hated being controlled, he hated people trying to talk him out of a decision he's already made. (All reasons why he wanted to run away with Dabi.) But he was more than ready to do that if it concerned the safety of the people. And this was something Dabi used to be jealous of. Because he couldn't imagine giving up on his voice and freedom just to keep people safe. He could do it perfectly without being controlled by the HPSC. (The one thing Hawks and he couldn't agree on — was the commission good or bad?)
But Hawks was ready to give away his entire self just to do what he thought was right. There was a thin line between being selfless and straight up stupid. Hawks and Dabi had a very different opinion on where the hero lay.
Dabi tried to close his eyes and fall asleep, but scenes from the last conversation with Hawks and his time with the commission kept appearing in his mind. God, he really should've killed the fucker.
He would've. If it was any other hero, that chokehold would've ended with him dead on the ground. But the more he gripped Hawks' neck, the less he was capable of doing so. Until the end he tried to kill him, but his hand moved away, without wanting it to, letting Hawks live. The second the hero took a breath in, Dabi regretted not burning his head off to ashes. (And yet he had many other chances that he didn't take.) He hated Hawks.
He hated him for so many things. He hated him for not running away like they planned, hated him for becoming a hero when Dabi couldn't, hated him for staying the exact same and making Dabi remember all this shit, because he sure as hell wanted to forget all about it.
Dabi especially hated him because he liked the idea of them against everyone else like they dreamed of as kids. When they thought they were bigger than the whole world.
"Do you think soulmates are real, Touya?"
"You sound like my sister."
"If they do exist you'll probably be mine."
"That's stupid. We're not dating."
"But you still will be my soulmate, nonetheless!"
"...whatever, Keigo."
He didn't care. Both of them chose their paths. But, Jesus, he really wanted the hero to be serious about joining. Fuck, he didn't just like the idea of them teaming up again, he couldn't wish for anything better. And Hawks just stood there and lied to his face, telling Dabi...
(Get out of my fucking head, he thought, squeezing his eyes.)
And it was so stupid! 'I don't want to be a hero, that wins millions and everyone loves, because something annoyed me'. Hawks was always a shitty liar, but this was just another level. And again, if it was any other hero Dabi would've burned them to ash before they even attempted to make a second bullshit reason. And yet he agreed for Hawks to play pretend a villain. Because he let a childish thought slip in.
This wasn't going to happen again, he promised to himself.
He was going to use Hawks. Squeeze out everything he needed from him and then kill him. The person Dabi was before was very deeply buried. And the person he wished to come back was long dead, leaving only the appearance and past that connected them. There was no reason for him to keep Hawks when Keigo was gone.
Dabi finally felt the sleep starting to take him, despite his head throbbing from how many thoughts there were going through his head.
~~~
"Dabiii, I heard that the pretty pro hero bird will be joining the League! How exciting! I can't wait to see how his feathers look fetched in blood!" Toga squirmed at Dabi, when she saw him entering the room, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"He's not joining, Toga," Shigaraki muttered before Dabi managed to answer. He was sitting on the coach, trying to make a tower from cards. Dabi resisted the strong urge to push it down and threw himself on the sofa next to his boss. Shigaraki's hand, that was currently holding a card, shook up and down. He froze in place, looking to see whether or not the tower was going to fall, but it stood there, stubbornly. Shigaraki turned around to send a glare Dabi's way.
"Careful, patchwork," he said, raising his hand again to place a card. Dabi rolled his eyes and flicked his middle finger with a thumb to send a small but fast wisp of fire at the card. It shot away from Shigaraki's hand and fell slowly to the ground, burning from the middle. The tower of cards didn't waver at all, but Shigaraki turned around and reached for the hand Dabi used to flick his card. Dabi pulled back, and tried to catch him by the wrist, but Shigaraki used his other hand to grab Dabi's forearm with four fingers. Seeing this, he grabbed tightly Shigaraki's wrist and warmed it up to a certain point. Both of them stared at each other unblinking and unmoving, waiting for one of them to do something to begin the fight.
"Shigaraki, Dabi, let go of each other." A voice came from behind the couch they were sitting on. Dabi's eyes moved to Kurogiri, looking at them disapprovingly. Shigaraki seemed to have done the same, but turned back to Dabi and, without a word, both of them let go at the same time. Kurogiri hummed and sat down on a chair in front of the bar. He opened the laptop that was sitting there and didn't bother to say another word.
Toga groaned from where she had sat on the floor next to him, even though there was enough space on the coach. "So I won't ever see him then?"
Dabi frowned in confusion, but then he remembered she was talking about Hawks. "That depends. At first, he will probably give information blindly, but this definitely won't last. We can arrange different places where the whole League can meet up with him, but that will have to be in the future. For now, I'll be the only person from us that he talks to."
Dabi turned, looked down at her, and raised an eyebrow. "Why do you ask? Are you a fan or something?"
Toga frowned. "No. But I want to take some of his feathers. And if he is on our side he might bring some better mood in here. You and Tomura are sucking my energy out just by being close to me."
Shigaraki eyed her, annoyed, before placing the last cards on the tower. "You're just mad at me, because I hid the console while I was gone and you couldn't play."
"You're a jerk, Tomura!" Toga frowned. She waited for Shigaraki to start placing the last two cards from the card tower before kicking the leg of the table to make it shake. Cards started falling down as she turned her attention to the knife she got from who knows where. Dabi tucked his lips in and lifted a fist for Toga to bump. Her eyes twinkled as she accepted the gesture before starting to flip her knife around again. Shigaraki closed his eyes, like he was convincing himself not to kill Toga. When he opened them, he decided to ignore her completely and looked at Dabi.
"Does he have a way to contact you?"
Dabi rested his head back on the coach. "No. I'll just call him... maybe tomorrow. To ask him to give me the schedule."
"He gave you his number?"
Dabi scoffed. "Of course not. But I'll find a way."
If this guy Skeptic was as good of a hacker as he said, figuring someone's phone number would be a child's play. Dabi blinked slowly, the corners of his mouth twitching up slightly. He had an idea that would be much more fun than just calling his cellphone.
"Can I come with you to meet him? Pleaseeee." Toga rested her head back on Dabi's knee to look up through her eyelashes, pulling him out of his thoughts.
Dabi raised both eyebrows. "You're not taking his feathers. Wasn't his quirk something like basically hearing everything through them? We can't risk that. And also why do you want a feather?"
"Because they're pretty, Dabi! They look fluffy and red like blood! Why wouldn't I want one? Don't you?"
"No," Dabi replied. "What could I possibly ever need them for?"
"Ugh, you're so boring," Toga muttered.
"I still don't fully understand what you want to do with Hawks," Kurogiri started talking, making Dabi raise his head to look at him. He had closed his laptop and was now completely turned towards the other villains. "He won't meet us, talk to us, or anything like this, which means he won't go on our missions. Don't you think his ability to 'hear stuff' with his feathers, as you said it, would be really helpful. I mean I get that he could be lying, but you don't look like you'll believe he's on our side no matter what he does."
"I told him to kill a hero."
"Yeah, and the way you keep explaining it, you won't believe him nonetheless. Don't waste his potential because of your hatred for heroes. He might be serious."
Dabi grunted something before resting his head back again. "Fine! Let's see him drag a body to me first."
Kurogiri nodded. After a moment of silence, he spoke again. "How did you say you were going to contact him?"
Dabi lifted his head up, smirking.
Notes:
Can we take a moment to appreciate how well Hawks' character parallels his quirk 😔 Yk what I mean right, y'all see it too, right? 😔 No? Just me? Okay 😔
Maybe I'll stick to posting one chapter a week, but DONT COUNT ON THAT, I'm a liar and school is still a torture. JSJSJDJS I NEED CHRISTMAS BREAK NOWWWW AHHH
Anywayyy, I hope you enjoyed the chapterrr, see you in a week!!
Chapter 3: Lots of pressure
Summary:
Hawks' pov again!!
Notes:
You'll see in this chapter how much I hate the fact that I can't write about Toga more 😔
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Madam President." Hawks bowed when he entered her office. "Why did you call me over here?"
When he lifted his head up, he saw her holding the telephone on her desk away from her. "Someone is asking for you," she said, handing over the phone. Hawks frowned, but stepped forward and took it carefully. He raised an eyebrow in question.
"I don't know who it is. Some man, asking to speak to you. In private." She said the last part as if it was a question. This only made Hawks' confusion bigger, as he shrugged.
"I don't know who it might be," He said quietly. Madam President nodded and turned away.
"Well, don't leave him waiting," she told him as she walked away. The guards who were in the room stepped out with her, leaving Hawks alone in the room. Just then, he lifted the phone to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Hey, birdie. You got what I asked for?"
Hawks' eyes plugged. He lowered his voice to a low, anxious whisper. "What the fuck are you doing?! Why are you calling my boss' phone- How did you even find her number- What is wrong with you? Do you think-"
"Hey now, calm down, I'm sure you'll find a way to talk yourself out of this. After all, this is what you're going to do from now on, am I right? Can't be too hard to find an excuse now."
Hawks could basically hear the smirk on the villain's face. This made him grit his teeth, but he calmed down before speaking again.
"Don't do that again; I'll give you my number or something. It's too dangerous, they might be able to track you down."
"Nah, they won't."
"And why is that?"
"I have my ways."
Hawks clenched his jaw in annoyance. He really couldn't get anything out of him.
"Yes, I have his schedule. We can meet at-"
"I'll say where and when to meet." Dabi cut him off. He told Hawks to meet him up tonight, in a certain abandoned warehouse. Hawks was surprised at how soon it was, but that wasn't going to be an issue. The warehouse wasn't too far from where Hawks talked to Dabi last time. Hawks wondered if somewhere there was the League's hideout or at least the place where Dabi stayed during the night. Maybe Hawks had to tell his boss to send a few heroes searching around there.
"Alright, birdie, see you later. If I notice someone being there with you I'll kill you and give all your feathers to Toga."
"Toga?" Hawks frowned. Where did that come from?
He heard Dabi sigh from the other side of the line. "Forget it. Come alone."
"Will you be alone? You know, I might also feel in danger if I see the whole League coming to get me."
"They might be there, they might not. Whatever it is, you won't be meeting them, unless you bring me the corpse of a hero."
"Yeah, yeah, I got that. I'm working on it."
Hawks heard Dabi laughing quietly, making the hero frown in annoyance. "If you say so." There was silence for a moment before he spoke again. "And bring one million yen."
Hawks' eyes plugged. "I beg your pardon?"
"You're the number two hero, you have this sort of money. I need one million yen."
"I know, but I-" Hawks was at a loss for words. Did Dabi think of him as a bank? "What do you even need them for? Doesn't the League have more than enough?"
"No, we don't. I genuinely don't know why everyone thinks we do. And it's none of your business why I need them."
"It's kind of my money, you know?"
"I have to pay for something." Hawks could hear the eye roll through the phone.
"Well, no shit, what else do you use money for?" Hawks raised an eyebrow even though Dabi couldn't see him.
"Very funny. Bring them over and I might consider telling you."
Hawks scrunched his nose. He needed to get at least something out of him. "I don't know, Dabi, it's a lot of money. I think I'd like to know what they're used for."
He heard a scoff from the other side of the line. "Aren't you asking a bit too many questions a bit too early?"
Hawks hummed. "I think it's a fair question."
"Just come to the warehouse tonight, hero. Ask something else and I'll reconsider letting you join even if you kill a hero."
Okay, yeah, he did push his luck far enough. Hawks took a breath in before answering. "Fine, alright. But don't get used to this. I'm not a bank."
"Right, right..."
Dabi hung up. Hawks put the phone down and waited a bit to think. He took a deep breath and covered his mouth, frowning in thought.
The chances of Dabi killing him there didn't look high, but this didn't mean they were nonexistent. Still, everything was going according to plan for now. And Hawks was very close to finding a hero, whose corpse to give to Dabi. He had an idea that might work, but it was way too risky. Even if Madam President agreed that it could work and it was probably their best shot, he still hoped to think of something else.
"What if," the conversation had started. "We find a pro hero that is thinking about retiring and we use them as bait?"
Madam President eyed him and even Yokumiru Mera, who was also called in to help with the mission with giving his opinion on certain topics, looked up in curiosity. "Elaborate," he told Hawks.
The hero took a breath in. "We could look for a hero that is planning to retire and make them play dead. If they take really strong beta blockers or something that lowers the heart beat enough for them to seem dead, we could use this as a fake corpse." Hawks rubbed his mouth. "But it's way too risky. We don't know what the villains might do to the corpse. There's a high possibility that they'd want to get rid of any evidence. And even if I do ask for me to be the one who gets rid of the body, they'll definitely say no. Well, Dabi will say no. He's acting like he holds a very personal grudge against me."
Madam President looked down at the desk, eyebrows knitted, as if she was rethinking possibilities.
"We could make a dummy of them."
Hawks scrunched his nose. "Yes, but Dabi will check if it's real. I doubt he'll trust me even after I give him a body. He's stubborn. But I guess being careful is why we haven't caught him yet. This and not feeling pain at all, and the strength of his quirk." Hawks sighed. "We can't send a dummy."
"Hypothetically," Madam President began. "We give the actual person acting dead and they do give you back the body. What do you plan to do?"
"If it was an ordinary hero, they'd want to go back to doing their job and saving people, right?" Hawks said. He didn't wait for an answer before continuing. "But since we're talking about a hero that's about to retire, it won't be hard for them to disappear. The news will announce them as missing, the villains will believe it, and I'll join the League. If they believe me, at least."
"Won't it be weird if a shop worker sees a supposed-to-be missing hero buying groceries?" Mera muttered. He looked like he hadn't slept in days and Hawks wouldn't have been surprised if he had fallen asleep while the hero talked. "They could play missing only for so long."
Hawks rubbed his mouth again. After giving it another thought he sighed. "I'm not sure. Maybe put them in house arrest until the mission is done, but I doubt they'd agree without a date of release. We don't know how long I'll have to spy on them." An idea came up so suddenly, he had to resist the urge to snap his fingers. "Or we could send them on a free vacation out of the city- or maybe even the country. I'm not sure they'd agree, but a few months seem reasonable. Then, if my mission isn't over, we'll keep them under house arrest." Hawks frowned. "House arrest sounds bad though, let's call it a long home staying."
Madam President had her eyebrows slightly raised. This meant the hero's idea was put to consideration and would almost definitely be accepted. But he couldn't feel happy about it, since the chosen hero would almost definitely die, if not by Hawks' feather, then by the villains' hands. He was starting to regret offering the idea without giving in much thought.
"But we still can't be sure they'll come back alive." Hawks quickly said in an attempt to interrupt Madam President's thoughts. "I know I have to kill a hero to join, but I'm not planning on actually doing it. If my idea goes to action without being sure of the villains' plans after I give them the body, the hero will definitely die. I don't think there'll be a volunteer if the possibility of them dying is well above 80%."
"We won't tell them then."
Hawks stopped breathing. His eyes widened as he looked at Madam President, almost certain he didn't hear it correctly. "What?"
"If you think no hero would agree on the mission then just lower the percentage to twenty percent." She explained calmly as if she wasn't suggesting lying to someone about how likely they are to die. "But of course, that's just in case. We'll think of something."
Hawks loosened up a bit at this, but only a bit. He didn't really like the sound of that. The way she said it he wondered if she was actually going to think of something else. Which was a stupid thought, Madam President was supposed to protect all heroes, even if they're about to retire.
"Okay." Mera tried to cover a yawn. "I know a few heroes who are planning to retire-"
"No." Hawks cut him off. Mera looked up at him, a hint of surprise in his eyes. The hero shook his head. "No, we can't have someone people know will retire. Dabi seems to doubt everything I do, this small detail might cost the mission."
"That's right," Madam President agreed, even though she eyed him warily for his paranoia. "But how are we going to find a hero who'll retire without causing suspicion?"
Hawks smirked a bit. "The attention has to be off me. I could tell Miruko to ask around and tell me. We don't have to tell her it's about a mission. I can make something up, it could be for documents, or future planning, a survey even. This is the easy part."
Madam President nodded. "Very good then. This is the plan we will go with for now."
"Great," Mera said and took some papers to look through, like he was searching for something. "Now I brought this, because we can't delay it any longer. We need to discuss..."
And the conversation changed directions completely, Hawks' mission remaining in the past. He wished he kept his mouth shut about the idea. But they were going to figure it out at the end hopefully.
The door of the room opened, snatching Hawks back from the rethinking of the conversation. He looked up at Madam President who walked past him to sit on her desk. When she got comfortable she looked at him calmly.
"So." She rested her hands on the top of the desk. "Who was it?"
Hawks sighed and rubbed his eyes. This was all too much — the fake death, the meet ups, the meetings, fucking one million yen. He just needed to go home and think about all this throughout.
But this wasn't going to happen now so he put on his usual grin and raised both eyebrows with amusement.
"You will never guess. Dabi found a way to contact me."
Something in her face changed, as if this statement shocked her, but she pushed it down. She frowned. "How did he find this phone number?"
Hawks looked up and suppressed a groan. "No idea. He won't tell me anything." He paused for a moment before muttering out quickly. "I mean, he did say the League doesn't have as much money as people make them out to have. Oh, and he wants me to give him one million yen."
Madam President's eyebrows twitched upwards. "Whatever for?"
Hawks spread his arms out in an 'I don't know' gesture. His boss sighed and pinched the bridge on her nose.
"Is that it? Was this the reason he called?"
Hawks snorted out a laugh and started explaining how Dabi asked him to meet up at the warehouse. He gave her the address, even though no one was going to come with him, explained how the villain asked for money but refused to answer what for. They tried to track the phone Dabi used. Yet, not only was it a lot harder since the call was over, but it was more than obvious that the phone wasn't going to be tracked. There was something over it that stopped the location of where the signal came from even with all the new fancy technology. Another fail.
This mission was almost like trying to walk towards strong wind while holding an umbrella. No matter what Hawks did, he wasn't getting any closer. It was the beginning of the mission, but the lack of speed in progress was killing him. And he wondered if there was actually a way to break Dabi and make him let something slip. Calm the fuck down, Hawks, he kicked himself in his mind. It was pointless thinking like this and panicking from the start when nothing had even begun yet. He had to just keep reminding himself to be patient.
"The place I met him the first time is really close to this warehouse," Hawks spoke, more to himself than anyone else. "We need to be more careful in these parts. Maybe the League is there somewhere."
Madam President nodded. "Good call. I'll tell the heroes, whose shifts are there, to be extra vigilant."
They talked for a bit about whether or not the meet up was a trap or not and if there's something about the place for meetings that might reveal secrets Dabi didn't think of. It's not like they came out with more information than they knew before, but it was good to analyze it once more so Hawks could remember everything precisely.
"The schedule is in my apartment. I printed it out." Hawks let out a sharp sigh. "I guess I'll have to find one million yen. Won't be hard for me, but Jesus." He shook his head.
"You know why it has to be your money, right?" Madam President looked at him and at those times, when she'd ask him such a simple question with such an obvious answer, Hawks felt like she kept seeing him as a child.
He put a hand on his chest dramatically. "Ah, and here I hoped you thought better of me. Yes, I know why — if he found your phone number so easily, he could probably see if your money status falls with one million yen less." He waved it off. "It's alright, I got this."
"I know you do. Your whole country depends on you." His boss said with hidden coldness in her voice.
A bit dramatic, Hawks thought, it's not like they could easily beat such good heroes in the country. Just a couple of troublemakers.
This was probably the wrong way to look into this. At the end of the day, hero society has been the most shaken by them for a while now. No one had brought such disturbance in quite some time. Well, they were the villain organization that worked under All for one's orders, it's only natural to be a huge pain in the ass. They were not to be underestimated, but Hawks doubted they could bring down hero society on their own.
(But with each crime they did, and every hero that didn't come back after being sent to chase them — the trust in heroes wavered. After all, they've been at their tracks for years and still weren't even close to catching them. Society was starting to question how could heroes protect them if they couldn't catch a villain in such a long time. They'd never understand what it really took. But that was still the heroes' problem.)
"How many hours are left till you meet him?" Madam President asked at the end. Hawks felt his wings twitch from not moving them at all during the last hours.
"Around four hours." He titled his head upwards at the ceiling. "Guess I still have some time for hero work."
"Don't be late." Madam President warned him before allowing him to leave. Hawks stepped outside, thinking some about back talk comments in his mind, but not saying them out loud. She was right, so there was no reason for him to be mad.
~~~
"Motherfucker!" Hawks cursed under his breath. He squinted his eyes, even though he knew nothing was going to help him see through the thick darkness. Sometimes he wished his quirk was actually being a bird and not just controlling his feathers. Especially then.
There was no way that Dabi chose the time and that warehouse unintentionally. It was difficult to find and the weather was shit. Since Hawks left his apartment till now the only change in the rain was that it started pouring instead of just raining. Hawks will have to lie if he said that the rain on his wings didn't make flying a hundred times more difficult, but he was used to all types of weather. This didn't mean it wasn't annoying trying to flip his wings harder so the water would stop getting in between his feathers, or having to slick his hair back because it kept sticking to his forehead and dripping in his eyes.
Hawks allowed himself to fall a bit lower to see better. Just when he thought he was going in the wrong direction (again), he finally saw the warehouse Dabi told him to meet at. It wasn't too big. On another note, it was pretty small for a warehouse. Probably one of the reasons why it was abandoned. Hawks doubted it could fit enough stuff to make profit for long. Or maybe it was used by a small family business. Who knew.
Swiftly flying down, Hawks stepped on the ground right next to the entrance. A feather went to unlock the door, but it froze a millimeter from the lock. Idiot, Hawks thought to himself. Why would Dabi lock it if he was already inside? He pushed the handle down and stepped inside, without closing the door so the small lights from outside could get in.
The room wasn't any brighter than the outside and Hawks still wasn't able to see. He really wanted to send his feathers across the room to learn how big it was, how many things there were, and most importantly, where Dabi was.
The noise of water dripping off of him was deafening in the silence. Hawks spread his wings and puffed them out to remove the water and just as he did, blue flames lit up from all corners of the room. Hawks tensed up, feathers sharpening along with one in his hand that turned into a long sword. Dabi stood in front of him unmoving with a slight grin on his face. If he didn't blink, Hawks would've thought he was a statue by the way he stood still. No wonder the hero didn't see him, he blended with the packages next to him perfectly. The thought made Hawks return the smile.
"Always a dramatic appearance with you, isn't it?" He lowered his sword next to him, but didn't lose his grip.
Dabi ignored the comment and took a few steps forward so they could be just a few feet away from each other. The blue light from the flames barely reached him, but his scars shaded creepily with the color.
"You know, I sometimes forget that your feathers aren't just dangerous weapons and are actually bird wings." His grin turned mocking. "Make them puffy again, you looked just like a pretty nightingale that got lost during a rainy night."
Stepping forward, Hawks raised the sword to press it under Dabi's jaw; enough to threaten him, but not too much to make it bleed. "Let's stick to dangerous weapons, yeah?"
Hawks felt himself losing his temper and it was just the first sentence that Dabi said. He had to calm himself down.
The villain snickered and pushed the sword down. Hawks allowed him to do so, putting it back behind him. Dabi crossed his arms.
"So?"
Hawks raised an eyebrow and pulled a few papers in a sheet protector from a pocket in his jacket. He did his best to not wrinkle it on the way here, but someone chose the meet up to be during a rainstorm. He handed the papers to Dabi.
The villain took them and looked carefully at what it said. Hawks had no idea what he needed Endeavor's schedule for, but he didn't think the first thing Dabi asked for to be incorrect was going to do him justice so he just printed out a prefect copy of the fire hero's work plan.
When Dabi was done looking he raised his eyes at Hawks. "Not bad. It's actually correct."
The hero frowned. "Of course it is. How do you know that, though?"
"Hm?" Dabi raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I already knew all of this. I just wanted to see if you'll give me correct information. Even though I don't think you'll want to trick me with the first thing I ask of you." He shrugged. "Still, some heroes are stupid enough to blow their cover like this."
Hawks once again ignored the urge to send a feather through his skull and gave him a lopsided smile. "You know, the disbelief really hurts me. After all the trouble I went through to give you this." He sighed dramatically.
"Dear lord." Dabi puffed out a laugh, unamused. "The money?"
Hawks exhaled slowly. He reached into the pocket on the opposite side of his jacket and picked out a stack of money, all worth one million yen. "And I can't know why exactly you need them?"
Dabi raised an eyebrow, but spoke anyway. "I am not capable of figuring out the person with the most secrets' phone number, and not getting tracked. Someone did it for me. I have to pay them."
Hawks frowned slightly, shock clearly visible in his eyes. He handed the villain his money and spoke as he did. "And that person wants one million for this? Isn't it a bit much?"
Dabi took the stack and pushed it in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh no, they only asked for four hundred thousand. I just decided to take the most out of your service." He shot Hawks a smug smile, making the hero's own lips quirk up, but in annoyance.
"I'm not even surprised. What do you even need them for?"
Dabi titled his head and swapped the weight from one leg to the other. "Just in case. It's never too much."
Before Hawks could've decided whether or not to just take back half the money Dabi nodded his way.
"Alright birdie, your job here is done. You can go."
Hawks raised an eyebrow. "Really? You're not going to ask for something else?"
"How eager you are to help!" Dabi barked out a mocking laugh. "Are you sure you're a bird and not a dog? The way you're chasing after every command the HPSC gives you, and now my orders, is really dog-like."
Hawks gritted his teeth. What? What was Dabi even talking about? If it was just the comparison to a dog, Hawks would've thought the villain only wanted to get under his skin. But since he added the thing about the commission he wasn't so sure of this.
For a moment, the only sound was coming from the crashing raindrops on the floor and the crackling of the fire, until Hawks spat out, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
It might've been something to do with the light from the fire messing up the villain's face, but Dabi's expression seemed to change. Like he was wondering whether or not to continue speaking or not. After a short pause he crossed his arms.
"I don't know birdie, what do you think it means? Your freedom that you keep chirping about is questionable. What's the point of betraying the heroes if you'll just be another puppet for the villains? You're talking about wanting to fly freely, but I don't see you widely spreading your wings. What are you aiming for, Hawks? Do you have a goal? An aim? Or is it just completing small tasks for me until something changes or they catch you?"
Dabi fell silent after this, looking at Hawks like he thought he could see right through him. It was a stupid thought, of course. At the end of the day, Hawks wasn't actually a villain so there were obviously holes in his reasons and plans for the future. He needed to clear them out more after he got home. For now, the most he did was glare at Dabi.
"I told you. I have my reasons. I don't know how you expect me to spread out my wings when I'm undercover. Let me do this my way, okay?"
Dabi snorted out a disappointed laugh. He shook his head and looked away from the hero.
"Right, right. You can go. If I need something from you I'll call."
"Absolutely not. I'll give you my number if you want, you can't call my boss. Don't you realize how reckless that was? What if she figured out your voice? Don't do that again."
Dabi smirked. "I managed to find her phone number; do you think I won't be able to track yours and find where you live?"
Hawks clenched his jaw, closing his eyes at the same time. "Fine, okay. Find my address, see if I care." He put his hand out. "I'll give you my number anyway, can I have your phone for a second?"
"Just say it," Dabi replied, taking out his phone and looking pointedly at the hero.
"I just gave you one million yen, I feel like you could trust me with your phone." Hawks said, even though he knew the villain wasn't giving away his phone anytime soon.
After they were done, Dabi hummed. "You can go now, hero."
"Right," Hawks grunted out and turned around. He felt Dabi's eyes on his back as he walked, but didn't turn around. Instead he went through the already open door, the water immediately soaking him again. After a few starting flaps of his wings, he flew into the sky, leaving Dabi behind.
~~~
The moment Hawks got to his bedroom, he fell face first on the mattress. Fuck, those meetings were taking the life out of him. At least he was finally done with the paperwork for his current mission, he could lay down and rest.
They were getting close to piecing together a well enough plan on how to fake a hero's death. After a few weeks everything would've been ready.
The person who they were planning on choosing was Best Jeanist, Tsunagu Hakamada, since he mentioned to Hawks he was planning a retirement just a few days after the winged hero's idea went into consideration. It was all perfect and Tsunagu hasn't said anything about this to anyone other than him. But that wasn't the reason why Hawks was feeling this constant anxiety in his stomach.
Theoretically, they could slow down Tsunagu's pulse until he was almost dead, make his body cold and completely cover every little thing that might hint he's still alive. The problem came afterwards. Hawks was handing his friend's life into the claws of a villain. He had no idea what Dabi was planning to do with the body. The commission wanted to set this plan into motion as soon as possible, despite not having this bit figured out yet, so no, Hawks wasn't the most excited about gambling with one of his closest friend's life. But no matter what Hawks was feeling, the choice was Tsunagu's and Tsunagu's only. They were both heroes, they knew the risks, they were always going to put the life of innocent people before theirs.
Hawks turned to the side heavily and looked out the window. It was a cloudy night but there was a small window in-between the clouds where you could see the moon in a crescent shape. He got up, planning to take a shower and go to bed, but a phone call interrupted his ideas.
The hero frowned. Sure, it was well known that Hawks barely slept but jeez, who would be calling this late? He walked over to where his jacket was tossed on a chair and fished the phone out. 'Jest Beanist' was the name of the caller. Hawks raised eyebrows at the coincidence.
Clicking answer, Hawks put on his usual cheery voice. "Tsunagu, so happy to hear from you! You know, I was actually just thinking about you. What's up?"
"I accepted the mission."
The winged hero's heart sank, even though it shouldn't have. "Oh," he muttered out by accident. Quickly, in attempt to cover it up, he took a breath in. "Well, thank you, man, really. Did they figure out how to bring you back safely?"
There was silence for a bit, enough for the answer to become more than obvious to Hawks. He bit his lip, but before he could say anything, Tsunagu spoke.
"Not really. But honestly? I'm sure you'll manage to get me out. I trust you."
Hawks resisted the pained wince that he almost didn't manage to hold in. "Aw, don't say that. That's a lot of pressure, you know? I don't want to be the reason for your death. Hold back for a while. I know the commission is rushing us but still, your life is not worth the risk."
Tsunagu sighed. "Yeah, I'm aware. Apologies for the pressure, but I think we shouldn't delay this any longer. It's already been two weeks since your last meet up with Dabi. Listen, just talk your way out of him doing anything with my body. After that you can say you'll get rid of it and the commission will manage to fake my death."
Hawks clenched his jaw. Maybe it was the exhaustion, but he couldn't resist breathing out a sharp breath. "Tsunagu, please think this throughout. This doesn't depend on me fully. Actually, almost not at all. You'll be at the mercy of a heartless villain. Do you realize how badly things could go? And he seems to hate me and I always have zero control over how our negotiations go. Nothing will-"
"Hawks, calm down." Hawks hadn't realized his voice had started to quiver. What is wrong with you?, he thought to himself before pulling his thoughts back together. He would've smacked himself if he could. This was unacceptable, he was a hero, for goodness sake. Tsunagu cut his train of thought with a sharp exhale.
"Okay, Hawks, listen. I do not wish to die. I'm planning to retire and maybe visit another country. Always wanted to check out France. But I don't want to tremble before a mission. I'm a hero-"
"Still-"
"–and as one, even if I do die, I want to do it without regrets. Blame Rumi for this way of thinking, but I don't want to stay out anymore. I don't wish to sit with my hands crossed, shaking in fear, while people are getting killed by the League."
"Tsunagu-"
"There is no possibility that we will make a perfect plan to get me out. I'm sure you know that. Like you said, I'm at the mercy of a villain. That's a fact and if we want to make this mission go through we have to accept it. The only thing we can do is hope you could talk your way out of Dabi needing my body for something."
"Don't do this to me," Hawks quietly begged. His voice was almost above a whisper. He took a deep breath in for support. "Don't- Don't put the end of this mission entirely in my hands. I can't- you know I can't guarantee your safety."
Tsunagu stayed quiet for a second. When his voice came through again, it was the same unshakable and firm tone. Hawks almost envied him for it. "I apologize. I know how hard this will be for you. Whatever happens, promise me to remember — I, and only I, am responsible for whatever the outcome of the situation is. I was the one who chose to participate in this mission and I'll be the only one to blame if something happens to me. Alright?"
"Tsunagu." Hawks closed his eyes and sat back down on the bed. He gritted his teeth until they ached. "I'm- Just a bit longer. I'll find a way to get you out. I'll- I'll speak to Dabi even, just wait. Give me more time, I'll figure it out."
Silence. Then: "Sure, Hawks. If you can come up with a plan, do it. But I'm doing this nonetheless."
Hawks squeezed his eyes even tighter. "Yeah. Yeah, I already knew that." He knew and understood it fully well but still... "Are you sure? A hundred percent sure?" The last thing Hawks was supposed to do now was talk Tsunagu out of his choice and yet he couldn't help but wish for his friend to take a step back.
"I am," came the instant reply. "Don't abandon your mission like that."
"That's not what I'm doing," Hawks shot back defensively. He hated this. Hated people treating him like a kid constantly and pretending he's not ready to do whatever it takes for the sake of the mission. It was just that this specific night wasn't his night. He did realize mid conversation that he was completely out of it. That's not how he was supposed to think. The exhaustion was really having a serious impact on him. He just had to go to bed. The day after tomorrow was a shorter work day anyway. He was going to be like new in no time.
"Take care, Tsunagu. I have to go now."
"Good night, Hawks." There was another silence for a second when neither of them said anything. "I'm sorry for this. It's probably difficult for you."
"Nothing I can't manage." Hawks' calmness was way too fake even for his ears. "Do your job, Tsunagu, I'll do mine. Thank you for your help with the mission, I couldn't do it without you."
"Yeah. Good night." He hung up. Hawks threw his phone behind him on the bed and lay down. Covering his face, he let out a muffled groan. He looked back at the phone and reached for it to check the time. 2:14 am. The hero took a deep breath in. It was true that he definitely needed sleep and that the exhaustion was making his head fuzzy and off center.
But he deeply doubted that he'd have managed to fall asleep after that conversation with Tsunagu. After all, he promised to find a way. He had to; he couldn't let him die. Dragging his body up, Hawks rose to his feet and walked towards the table in his living room. There was already a shit ton of paper on it from the last research and files about his mission. He quickly looked at them and pushed them to the side. Biting his lip, he sat down and opened his laptop.
~~~
Hawks was still working when an alarm went off. His attention snapped towards the sound as his face scrunched up in realization. It was the alarm from his phone, meaning he had to start getting ready for work and that he had pulled yet another all nighter unintentionally.
The papers on his desk and open tabs on his computer didn't ease the anxiety rising in his chest. He wasn't even remotely close to figuring out a plan. Well, he had thought of some ideas, but they all circled around the dilemma of whether or not Dabi would listen to him. Hawks despised this deeply. He hated not being able to have control over how a situation would go, hated not knowing or understanding how it would go. He covered his face, letting out a deep exhale. Fuck. There wasn't going to be a proper plan. That was clear. He had to make peace with it.
Squeezing his eyes shut, he stood up from his desk and started getting ready for work. A day like any other, he could do that.
~~~
Hawks was done pinning yet another villain with his feathers to the wall effortlessly, when he felt his phone ringing in the pocket of his jacket. He flapped twice with his wings to rise himself higher before looking at the name of the person calling him. Unknown. Hawks raised an eyebrow before clicking the answer button and putting it to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Pigeon." Dabi's voice came through.
"Well hi? I didn't think you'd call so soon. Haven't found my address yet, I see. If you do, don't be shy, come in."
"And do what, have a chat? I have better things to do." Dabi's bored voice came through.
"How nice of you. What's up, why are you calling? I doubt it's because you're so interested in how I'm doing."
"Very smart of you, hero, good observation skills, do you ever stop babbling?" Dabi sighed. "It's time for an actual task for the League. I'm going to send you an address. I want you to tell me when and what heroes look around there on Thursday and keep them away."
Hawks covered the bottom side of his face with one hand in thought. "A bit difficult, but I'll probably manage. Whatever for?"
Dabi kept silent. Ah, right. The hero tucked his lips in.
"Can't I at least know?"
Silence.
"Pretty please?"
Silence.
"With a cherry on top?"
"What are you, a five year old?"
"And he answered!" Hawks cheered, tilting sideways to avoid a billboard.
"Shut the hell up and do your job, pigeon. Can you do that or is your brain actually bird sized as people say?"
"People say my brain is the size of a bird's?" Hawks asked, frowning with genuine concern and disappointment.
"Hawks."
"Fine, fine, yeah, I can do it."
"Alright. Don't fuck it up." End of call.
"Yeah, I know," Hawks muttered looking down at the people on the streets. After a few minutes Dabi called him again. Hawks picked up, confused.
"Hello again? Miss me already?"
"-the hell up, Toga, I'm asking him! Yes, fucking hello again, do you know where to buy good miso soup?" Dabi was speaking as if he was on the verge of insanity.
Hawks' frown deepened. Miso soup?
"I'm- I guess there's one at the end of the road of the last building you burned down. It's one of my favorites. What is-"
"Don't you fucking ask, I'm not in a mood- Yes, I got the goddamn shop location, shut the fuck up." Deep inhale. "Bye, Hawks."
The call ended right before the hero could answer. He blinked a few times. Well that was weird. Hawks scoffed. Right, Toga was still a teenage girl after all. He sometimes forgot this detail. It took everything in him not to warn a hero about Dabi and Toga's possible future location, but that wouldn't have looked good for him if they messed up. He swallowed back the guilt. A second later he heard someone yelling from somewhere underneath him. It was way too soon so he was calm, he knew this couldn't have been Dabi, which meant an easy job. Taking a breath in, Hawks lowered himself to lock up the next villain.
~~~
"Can't you make it work?"
"Hawks, I told you-"
"Pretty sure there'll be innocent people, too."
"We're working on this, but we can't risk sending heroes."
Hawks tucked his lips in and looked down. He was speaking calmly, already knowing what the answers would be, but having this annoying voice in his head that kept repeating to him to ask. Hawks was more than aware of the commission's cold logic, it was something he learned to use too. Sometimes he wished he could get rid of it, just for a bit.
Most of the time the decisions he took were rooted in it and it came by habit at this point. He wasn't sure how he felt about this fact, but it did help him complete most of his missions and catch villains, so it couldn't have been so bad. After all, the main thing was stopping a villain right away, before they could do more damage. Always think two steps ahead, what if they escape, what if they take a hostage — Hawks obtained the ability to calculate the least damage a choice he took could do. He knew most of his decisions lacked any type of sympathy for others, but it was all in favor of the innocent lives that he saved with them.
The thing about Hawks is that he always completed his missions. He will catch any villain, kill them if he had to, and he was used to this. It didn't get easier, but he could manage. But there were moments, rare moments, when he had to be completely out of the situation to finish his job. He hated this, it made his mind blurrier, but there was nothing he could do about it. Either this, or the villain escaping and he never let this happen.
The times when he had to turn off his thoughts was usually when the person he was supposed to catch started to break out of the persona they made. Or if they never had one — they'd start crying, or hyperventilating, or begging him, swearing that they didn't have another choice. It rarely worked on Hawks, because most of them had done awful things to innocent people, but it was harder to ignore when the quirk was the cause. Despite him wanting it to, Hawks' brain took him back to Touya, whose fires went out of control and cost him his life. It went to Touya who almost lost his mind because apparently his quirk wasn't good enough for his father, and Hawks was the only one who believed he could become whatever he wanted to, even without the heat resistance.
Hawks despised how such a stupid thing could mess with his mind so badly. No matter what he did or how many years had passed, he still couldn't get rid of his thoughts of Touya. It was dreadful.
Madam President put down a big blue folder, returning Hawks' attention back to the present day. "Here's all the workplaces in the area. Do you know the reason Dabi wishes there to be no heroes?" The question was aimed at Hawks, who shook his head.
"No. He still refuses to answer."
Madam President tucked her lips in, nodding. "I see. Do you think you'll need help with anything or should we leave it all to you?"
"I'll just have to see which heroes are supposed to be there at the time."
"Very good, I'll send someone to get the files for you."
"Thank you, Madam President," Hawks gave her a polite smile. A second later a spark went through his eyes. "I have an idea. What if only one hero passes through the streets from time to time. Let's say they're new and I didn't know they were going to go there. Maybe I'll tell Dabi the hero went there out of schedule so there was nothing I could do."
Madam President considered the idea. After a second she turned her attention back to Hawks. "Do you think it'll work?"
Hawks shrugged. "He has no reason not to believe me. But only if we send a hero with a quirk that's not suitable for battle. When they see it's Dabi or the League of villains, they'll call other heroes who'll come to the scene. I'm sure Dabi won't be as suspicious if it's not someone over-powerful like Endeavor."
"Send a newbie..." Madam President nodded in thought and gave Hawks a small smile. "It could work."
Hawks put a cheerful smile on his own that didn't show half the relief and happiness he was feeling from being able to think of this. The people there will be safe one way or another. "You can always count on me!"
Notes:
I could've added jokes with jeans, but I didn't want to and I'm not creative enough sadly.
Fun fact, would y'all believe me if I said I had no idea Best Jeanist was planning to retire in canon? I genuinely just thought he wanted to play dead or something T-T. I thought my idea of a retiring hero was original and so so smart, the disappointment I felt when I made a research about him and figured this out 😖
Btw I still have a beef with the verbs "lie" and "lay", I understand them (shout out to that one person in my comments for explaining it 🫶), but I DESPISE how they sound. Fuck those verbs man 😔
Anywayyy, that's all, see yall next week!!! <333
Chapter 4: Burn it all
Summary:
Dabi's pov!!! For a Hawks' centric fic, he's getting a bit too many chapters lol
Notes:
This one is a bit shorter, sorry!!
At some point there'll be "///" thing, this is pov change, I didn't know how to make it otherwise :,)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Dabi drummed his fingers with one hand against the bar as he waited for Hawks to pick up. Kurogiri was sitting on the chair opposite of him, looking through his laptop.
"Hey, Dabiii," Hawks trailed off when he picked up, making the villain's teeth clank in annoyance. "Are you calling to tell me you found my apartment?"
Dabi wasn't joking, he could theoretically find where Hawks lived (well, Skeptic could, theoretically), he just simply didn't want to bother. But, god, he swore on his life that if Hawks made another joke, just one, about Dabi not knowing where he lived, the villain was ready to pay Skeptic the rest of the money Hawks gave him just to find his address.
"Don't test me, pigeon. If we go now, will there be any heroes?"
"Maybe wait ten more minutes to be extra sure. Wash is still there but he's leaving."
"Where's he headed towards?"
"Uhh, I'm not sure? But he's coming my agency's direction if that is any help."
"Hm." Dabi looked at Compress who sat down next to him on the bar. He was carrying his mask in one hand. They exchanged a glance before Compress turned to Kurogiri to order a drink and Dabi returned to his call with Hawks. "And you're certain no heroes will be there?"
"Listen man, I did everything I could — found their schedules, made them do slight changes without directly intruding and, of course, without them catching me — if everything goes according to plan I'm sure no one will be there."
"Which heroes were supposed to be around the area?" Dabi didn't let go.
He heard Hawks let out a tired sigh. "Really? Okay, I guess, as I said, Wash, Death arms, some of Endeavor's agency members and a few work study students. I even went ahead and changed the schedule to heroes who had to be there one hour before and later. They're all away now, you can go. Good luck with whatever the hell you want to do without sharing the details with me."
Dabi snorted before hanging up without a word. He exhaled sharply and turned to Compress who was already looking at him, waiting.
"Let's go," Dabi said, standing up. Compress took a breath in and swallowed the rest of his drink before following him.
~~~
"We already have a shit ton of bandages, why are you taking more?" Dabi stopped looking at the frightened worker to glare at Compress.
"Bandages are never too much!" The other villain snapped back turning the last bandage package in a marble. He did a great show lifting the small sphere and turning his hand at wrist to make it disappear. It was probably a habit of his by now, but Dabi was way too annoyed for his bullshit. Compress threw the marble at Dabi, before speaking again. "Especially if you keep getting yourself injured every time you go out."
Dabi caught the small sphere easily and flipped him off. He turned his attention back to the worker who was staring at him with wide eyes.
This wasn't a big mission at all, it was just that the League was running out of medicine like isopropyl alcohol, aspirin, and other stuff that they needed regularly. The reasons why Dabi got Hawks involved were, first, to test his alliance again, and second, just because he wasn't in the mood for running away from heroes. His head had been throbbing for over a week now and he just wanted to take the pills he specifically went there for and go to the hideout.
Dabi was aware that Hawks thought the League were plotting their next move at all times, no break for evil and all that villainy stuff. Truth is, they were actually on a break.
It was mostly Dabi who caused trouble to keep their image and scare people off. He wanted to show how powerless heroes were compared to them and it seemed to be working. The only reason why he wasn't alone for this robbery now was because he couldn't carry everything by himself and someone had to keep an eye on the hostages there. More like hostage, since the only person with them was a man who worked there.
"We should be done by now," Compress called from around the opposite side of the pharmacy where he seemed to have gone to. "I got everything. Should we leave?"
"Take some more, I don't want to come back after a month." Dabi answered.
"One of my marbles has ten bottles of isopropyl and the others are filled with just as many other stuff, don't you think that's enough?"
"Did you take the ones I use for nightmares?"
"Eh," Compress winced. "I couldn't remember which one you used so I took randomly."
"Are you-" Dabi turned around in disbelief. He paused, taking a deep breath in and closed his eyes. "How difficult is it so remember the ones that start with 'P'? I'm not even making you remember the goddamn name!"
There was silence for a second, Dabi guessed he was trying to read the name of the ones he took. "Yeah no, I didn't take these."
"These are the only ones that work for me, you piece of-"
The window of the pharmacy shattered, something flying through it, making glass scatter on the floor. Something followed the pieces, falling on the ground with a loud thud. Smoke started to come out of it, filling the entire room and making it impossible to see through. A smoke bomb, Dabi realized.
His eyes turned coldly towards the worker who started shaking his head almost comically fast. "It wasn't me, I swear! You were watching me the entire time, weren't you? There's no way I could've done anything!"
The smoke went straight to the villain's lungs, making him cover his mouth while coughing. The worker was right, there was no way he couldn't have seen him do anything strange. Dabi clenched his jaw, face twisting with anger at the last possibility. I'm going to roast that chicken.
"Compress!" He yelled when he realized he hadn't heard from the other villain since the bomb went through. Immediately after calling his name, Dabi started coughing again. His eyes were way too dry and the smoke was hitting them directly, without any defence because of the villain's burnt tear ducts.
"Kurogiri will open the portal in a-" Compress yelled at Dabi from somewhere away, but he cut himself off to cough. "In a second. Come over here!"
Dabi looked around. Luck was on his side because he managed to focus his vision on a bottle of eye drops. He took two before jogging towards where Compress' voice came from. The entire pharmacy was filled with smoke, causing Dabi to almost bump into Compress.
The villains' heads turned around in perfect sync after hearing the door being broken through. Dabi cursed under his breath, but just then the portal opened and they stepped through, leaving the pharmacy behind. They stumbled forwards, both of them taking deep breaths in attempt to clean the smoke out of their lungs.
The rest of the League started questioning them, but Dabi couldn't hear a word they said. He threw the bag he was carrying on the floor and reached towards his pocket. He fished out his phone, ears ringing from anger. This is when he almost made a fatal mistake.
"Dabi," Kurogiri caught his wrist before he could click the call button next to Hawks' number. He glared at Kurogiri, who lowered his wrist until it was a safer distance away. "Stop. If you call him now he'll know your phone number and there's a big chance he could figure out where the signal is coming from. Calm down and think rationally."
Dabi kept his eyes on him before shoving the phone back into his pocket. He took a few deep breaths in, walked towards the bag and grabbed the pills he took for headaches. Swallowing them without water, he stood up again and stormed towards the door.
"Where are you going?" He heard Shigaraki ask. Dabi finally turned his attention towards him.
"Out." Dabi was sending daggers his way but the boss paid him no mind. He started scratching his neck, probably without even noticing.
"What are you even so angry about? You knew he wasn't serious and this wasn't exactly a big encounter with heroes for you to be that pissed?"
Dabi's fingers were twitching with the need to burn something down. His teeth were clenched together tightly as he stayed quiet. After a second he turned away and left without a word.
~~~
When a person goes through a traumatic event in his life, the most natural thing is for them to end up with a new fear. If they almost drowned they're afraid of water, if they got lost in the woods they are scared of being alone in the forest, if they were kidnapped they look at people warily, scared of not knowing if one of them is also a kidnapper.
If they almost burn down in fire, they are afraid of fire.
In Dabi's case nothing like this happened. Fire had always been a big part of him, most of him even, and he never saw fire as something to be afraid of, even after almost dying by it. It was the thing he was most familiar with, the thing he had the most control over. Well, the thing he had the most control over after the Sekoto Peak incident, when he started practicing on his own, led only by hatred towards his father. He improved drastically and knew his flames better than ever.
He was all alone after running away from the hospital when he was sixteen. There wasn't a place to stay, no one to go to for help, or support, or any kind of reassurance after almost dying and missing three years of his life. He never blamed his quirk for all this, it was all because his dad was way too busy for him and he wasn't good enough for his attention.
Dabi was familiar with his fire, he was more than aware of its abilities, its range, its temperature, how it felt getting burned, how to control it — he knew everything about it. It was the thing he knew best in the world and this brought him comfort in a way. While his dad was telling him he knew and understood nothing, Dabi was now able to counterargument the statement. One finds comfort in the things they're most familiar with. He knew chaos well, his flames, being alone or feared. So this is where he was.
Dabi was standing on the roof of a shop. The flames were tall and way too thick for someone to be able to get through. The wool and wood from the furniture that was inside was only fueling up all of it, ripping away Dabi from the rest of the world. He could sense that his skin was dry from the heat, but didn't feel any of it. He had separated himself in a small circle free of fire, just sitting there to allow himself to calm down. It was working, he was calm, but another series of memories started coming to his mind, unwillingly.
The shop he chose to burn down was a boring store for furniture and decorations. Nothing special about it at all.
~~~
"Touya!" The red haired boy didn't raise his head from his notebook when Keigo trailed off his name, walking through the door to their dorm. He heard his friend let out a groan and then someone threw himself on the bed next to him, making it shake. "Get your head out of those stupid notes, you'll do fine!"
"Maybe you should try reading some of them." Touya finally turned his eyes towards the other boy. Keigo seemed more cheerful than usual so Touya decided not to ruin it with snappy remarks. "You don't want to fail, do you?"
(Well, not that snappy, maybe.)
Keigo scrunched his eyebrows, pouting a bit, probably unintentionally. He dragged himself up in a sitting position. Just then did the other boy notice that Keigo was holding something behind his back. "Of course not, but I won't fail!" Before Touya could add a word, he continued talking. "Ask me what I did."
"Huh?"
Keigo was basically filled with excitement. "Ask me what I did, come on!"
"What did you... do?" Touya asked warily, unsure on where this was going. He also lifted himself up to sit next to Keigo, who rolled his eyes at his friend's lack of enthusiasm, but grinned wildly, the action calming Touya down as much as it stressed him out.
"I got you a present!" He finally put the thing he was hiding behind his back in front of him, revealing a medium sized plastic bag.
Touya stared at it. After he figured he wasn't joking, his expression changed to confusion. "Huh?"
"Oh, come on," Keigo threw the arm he didn't hold the bag with up in the air. "This is a horrible reaction! Ungrateful idiot."
"No, no, I'm-" Touya stopped talking, not knowing what to say. His eyes turned up and down to Keigo and back to the gift. "I- That's for me?"
"Yes, oh my god, Touya, just take it!" He showed the bag in his arms and he immediately gripped it so he wouldn't drop it. Whatever was inside felt extremely soft and squishy.
The strange thing wasn't that Keigo gave him a gift. It was the fact that he shouldn't have where to take it from and the money to buy it. The commission gave them clothes, food and everything they needed. Neither of them had their own money (except for Touya, but they weren't with him in the dorms) and even if they did, the only time they went out was for educational purposes. So the red haired boy had zero clue how Keigo was able to buy anything at all.
"It's not that cool, but it was basically the only thing I could buy," Keigo muttered, pulling Touya out of his thoughts. "I found two twenty thousand yen bills on the ground and decided to buy something. I was with the annoying supervisor that barely lets me do anything. He didn't allow me to buy hero figures or anything fun."
Touya turned his attention to the bag and opened it slowly. Inside he saw a beige colored blanket. Touya took it out, the soft and fluffy material making him run a hand over it. He wanted to hug it closer, but resisted the urge, looking at Keigo who was watching him with a curious expression.
"Do you like it?"
Touya kept his eyes in the blanket. He started running his thumbs over it before giving a poor attempt to cover the smile that threatened to appear on his lips. "Mhm."
"Is that a- Wait, are you hiding a smile? Touyaaa, did I make you happy?" Keigo grinned at him, taking a step forward to take a closer look at the expression Touya had turned away from him.
"Shut up. Why did you give it to me, though? I'm sure you didn't have enough money left to buy something for yourself."
"I managed to buy mochi without my supervisor noticing me. He yelled at me for going out of his sight but it's okay." Keigo smiled smugly. "And I wanted to give you something. For our friendship or something like that."
Touya kept his eyes on the blanket. "You didn't have to waste them on me. You could've bought it for yourself."
"Hey, we can share! I can still use it, can't I?" He narrowed his eyes, not trying to hide the fact that there was only one correct answer. Touya finally allowed himself to grin at him as he nodded. After a moment of silence he finally sighed out.
"How is it so soft?"
"I know right!"
"Where did you take it from?"
"A furniture shop that's right next to the bank. It's pretty small, given the fact that it's from a big company, but there was lots of stuff nevertheless."
"It's really nice." Touya unfolded the blanket to cover himself with it. The end of it dragged on the floor, hiding him completely. He turned it to the side and wrapped it around himself, only leaving his head visible. Falling back down on the bed he finally muttered, "Thanks." The red haired boy was glad it sounded as genuine as it did. Keigo beamed at him once again, eyes shining brightly.
~~~
The crackling of the fire was becoming more and more, but Dabi had no intention of getting up anytime soon. He started coughing, the smoke and soot getting inside his lungs. Everything around him smelled like ash and he probably did so, too. The smoke made his eyes run dry, no tears to keep them wet, but it was relaxing. Calming, in a way. Dabi always liked feeling in control and right now he could control anything. The width of the flames, how far they reached, who would get caught inside of them, even his death if he wished. It was a nice euphoric feeling that left him wanting to make more and more fire. But that subconscious part of him knew that he had to survive this and take his dad down. He couldn't die like this, not yet at least.
That stupid blanket. It was probably lost by now. Dabi wasn't able to get it before leaving the commission's dorms and afterwards he didn't really have the chance to come back so who knows what actually happened to it.
Dabi turned his head to the side to see another part of the building collapsing a bit too close to him. He didn't flinch when the wood hit the ground, turning to soot and lifting the dirty ash particles in the air right to him. But he did decide it's best to get going, because he didn't actually want to die yet, not before finishing what he stayed alive for.
He stood up brushing off the soot that covered his clothes, hair, and body and turned around to see if there was a part of the roof with a little less fire.
Well yeah, sure, it was he who got himself in this position, but it's not like he didn't usually jump head first into stupid decisions. It was hard to see with the ashes getting in his eyes and all the smoke covering everything, but he managed to see just enough of a tiny passage, enough to go through. The flames were raging in front of it nonetheless, but it was enough to go through without any major injuries. (Okay, maybe Compress was right about the 'getting injured every time when he goes out' thing)
Dabi rested his weight on his back leg before sprinting towards the edge of the roof. The fire crackled around him, his coughing got worse with each deep breath he took, but he didn't stop until he reached the edge. He jumped off and saw that the other roof was a bit too low for his liking. Gaining back the control over his body, he pointed his palms towards the ground. Right before the impact he let out a big output of fire, nullifying the kinetic speed. He bounced off the ground and landed safely on his feet, stumbling forward only lightly.
It was late enough when the heroes and firemen finally arrived and took care of the fire. Dabi watched from a safe distance, behind the corner of a small alley, how they attempted to put out his flames. It was a slow process, but at some point the fire stopped, leaving only a bit of flicks of it here and there. The store had already been leveled with the ground, soot and ashes flying in the air around them. Firemen were going inside, checking for injured, the heroes were running around, looking for the person who caused it. Dabi took a breath in before walking away, heading towards his next stop.
///
Hawks' plan didn't go as well as he wished it had. He was furious because the stupid rookie didn't reveal himself and now it was such a good coincidence that police surrounded the villains inside the pharmacy. Hawks knew he couldn't blame the hero for chickening out, but he couldn't exactly not blame him when the literal point of this stupid scheme was for Dabi to see him and not think it was Hawks. He had no idea how he was going to get himself out of this mess.
And the worst part was, the whole plan was basically pointless. Not only were there no people in the pharmacy, meaning that there weren't going to be that many casualties as Hawks thought there would be, but Dabi also burned down an entire different shop for no reason. The owner of the shop managed to get out with only light burns and nothing more, but the place was gone before any of them could do anything.
The hero's step halted to a stop, heart skipping a beat, when he opened the door to his apartment and saw a piece of paper lying on the ground. He took a deep breath in before closing the door and kneeling to get it. The moment he lifted it to his face and read what it said he grimaced, closing his eyes.
Come to the same warehouse the second you read this, traitor
– D
Hawks let out a breathy humorless laugh and looked up to the ceiling. It's no lie, he was basically asking for it. Oh, he was so dead.
///
Dabi tapped his foot against the ground impatiently. He had calmed down after lighting up the shop and wasn't burning with rage anymore. Maybe it would've been a lot better if he actually set a time on when Hawks had to come because he had been waiting in that godforsaken warehouse for almost a full hour and he hated waiting. The only reason why he was still there was because he really wanted to have a talk with Hawks.
Suddenly, the door of the warehouse opened, the faint orange light from the sunset hitting Dabi's eyes directly. The moment he focused them on a certain silhouette, they narrowed. Hawks had his usual careless smile on his face, but the villain could see the way he gripped the sword he hid behind his back. Neither of them spoke at first, both of them frozen in place, waiting for the other to act first.
To no one's surprise, Hawks spoke first with a forced joking tone. "You actually did find my address, huh?" Dabi's eye twitched. "Dabi-"
A wide wall of flames was shot Hawks' way, enveloping him whole. Or at least that's what the villain saw when he shot the fire. Hawks managed to bounce back, faster than Dabi could see, into the corner of the room, far away to not get burned, but not enough for his feathers to not ignite. He let the feathers go, making them fly around to get the flicks of fire away, but Dabi shot another wave, not letting him recover.
"I didn't know, okay?!" Hawks unfolded his wings sharply, redirecting the flames entirely, but Dabi already knew this trick. He made sure the wave was a long one, making the trick useless. Hawks hissed in pain when the fire reached him, but still refused to burn to death. He flew up above the flames; just as fast as he lifted, he found his place behind Dabi, placing the sword on the front of his neck and twisting the villain's arm behind his back.
"I swear it, I didn't call the police, I didn't know they knew until I got the emergency call."
"Shut up." Dabi didn't attempt to get away from Hawks' grip, instead taking advantage of the situation and inflaming it from behind his back. He heard the hero curse, but didn't let Dabi go as he expected. He used a feather to pin the villain's palm against the floor, piercing right through it. Dabi was forced to kneel down to the ground. He couldn't catch the moment the hero moved in front of him and stepped on his free hand so he won't be able to use it, putting the sword right where it was a second ago.
"Stay down and let me explain," Hawks spoke coldly. Dabi stayed in place, more in surprise from the emotionless tone of a so said hero than the command itself. "I cleared everyone out, okay? Everyone that had their schedules put in the system. There was a new hero that decided to move away from his position because his was apparently 'boring'. He saw you and called the police. I didn't have anything to do with that."
"How convenient, do you seriously expect me to believe that?" Dabi spat out, glaring daggers his way.
"It's the truth. I'm more than aware of how it looks but I'm not lying. It's all that hero's fault." Dabi laughed at the absurdity. Hawks clenched his jaw. "You have to believe me, Dabi, come on."
"Blame that hero then, I don't trust you."
"You can't do this." Hawks gripped his sword tighter in anger. "This wasn't even my fault and you're going to throw away the opportunity to have a person on the inside? You can't be serious."
"What did you expect me to think, Hawks?" Dabi hissed out, narrowing his eyes.
"I expected you to be a lot smarter than this and give me a chance!"
"I did give you a chance! One more than I wanted to and look how that turned out."
They stared at each for a moment. Dabi kept his eyes firm on Hawks' golden ones, so familiar yet so different from his memories. Hawks stepped back, freeing both of Dabi's hands, and moved the sword just enough so it won't keep digging into his neck without piercing it.
"I'm sorry. I didn't plan on this to happen. Let me prove myself to you somehow."
Dabi wanted to tell him to fuck off and that all his chances were wasted, but he held it back. Don't waste his potential because of your hatred for heroes. He might be serious — Kurogiri's words echoed in his head. He gritted his teeth before forcing the next words out.
"Bring me a dead hero in the next three days. I don't care how you do it, but if you don't that's it. This is your last and final chance. Okay?"
Hawks tucked his lips in, but nodded. He hesitated before letting the sword feather turn soft to allow it to go to his wings. He put his hand out for Dabi to grab to help him stand up. This was the last thing the villain expected him to do; he stood there dumbfounded for a moment before gaining his composure back and swatting Hawks' arm away. He lifted himself off the ground, shaking his left hand to remove the dripping blood from where Hawks' feather was pinning him to the ground. The hero frowned at the sight.
"Sorry for that. In my defense you were going to light me up."
"Shut it."
"Yeah, okay." Hawks took a step back. After a moment he eyed Dabi warily. "How did you find where I live?"
"Shut. It."
"Okay, fine!" Hawks raised his hands up in the air and started walking towards the exit. He gave Dabi one final look, but turned away when he saw that the villain wasn't going to say anything more. He flapped his wings a few times before lifting himself off the ground and flying away.
Dabi let out a sharp annoyed exhale. Hawks was such a pain in the ass and for what? For some stupid information they'll get after months? The only thing Dabi hoped was for the hero to do more good than bad, because they really were getting off with the wrong foot there. Anything that happened from there on would be fully Dabi's fault. And he couldn't let the hero go off so easily.
~~~
Dabi opened the door to the League's hideout and saw the whole League on the couch and around it. This was a rare sight, at least two of them were usually out or sleeping. Dabi didn't want to deal with them at the moment so he headed towards his room, not sparing them a look. Compress didn't let him go off that easily though.
"Is that blood I'm seeing? Will you need bandages? From the too many ones I took? That you don't need because you don't come back injured every time you go out?"
Dabi sent him a glare and kept walking away. "Die in hell."
Notes:
I don't understand how yen works, leave me alone.
My GYATNESS GUYS can we as a fandom decide on how Dabi's skin and pain tolerance work, because I'm SO CONFUSED. Like no pain at all, no emotions, emotions, hurts every time he uses his quirk, only pain on his skin GUYS CMON WHATS HAPPENING 😞 No clue how I'll keep writing the pain thing, I'll update y'all in the notes
School is sucking my soul out, WHY did my ass use weird smart terms at some places like BITCH STOPPP
Chapter 5: All in your head
Summary:
Hawks' pov
Shorter one, I'm sorry, but I ready skipped one week so I apologize :,)Cw: Eating disorder (kind of, not really but still hinted)
Notes:
IM ALIVE sorry for not posting last week, the after winter break tests hit me like a motherfucking truck, I changed phones and all my notes were GONE, which is where I write my fics. So I had to copy paste everything goes from my old phone on notion THEN copy paste them in my new notes on the new phone (since I never learn( jk the longer fics are in docs now)) which took 5 HOURS WITH MY 67 FICS. I didn't have time to write this week either since I'm SICK so I went over the editing quickly. I apologize guys, I'll do better, but as we cleared out, I'm a liar 😔
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Flying was always easy for Hawks. He loved the way the wind felt on his face, the ability to see everything from high above and speeding through the sky without any obstacles in the way. It was the most free he felt and as much as he hated being alone, up in the sky it was comforting. Even though mastering the ability to fly hadn't been the most pleasurable experience in his life, he was willing to go through all of it again if it meant feeling the wind go through his feathers.
His quirk was his wings that constantly grew feathers that he could control, but flying wasn't that easy to learn. The reason why birds can fly is because most of their body is filled with air, making their weight many times lighter than if they didn't have them. In Hawks' case, he didn't have any of this, so if he wanted to learn to fly he had to train his back muscles hard to carry all his weigh in the air. It wasn't easy at all, but the commission never allowed him to give up and he didn't quite want to. He knew that learning to fly would be worth it and he was right — flying was now as simple as breathing for him, the weight never affected his speed and it was the best experience in his life.
But every now and then he had to take a long break after a hard day of work. Hawks felt like a messenger bird the whole day after Dabi stole from the pharmacy and burned the shop down. For some reason he had to be the one carrying all the files with the messed up schedules and explanations of why none of them were there, why the rookie was the only one at the scene, leads on finding Dabi, question the hostage from the pharmacy and then the one from the burned down shop-
Long story short, he was exhausted and his back hurt like a bitch.
Worst of all, Dabi somehow found his apartment and asked to meet up so he also had to get there and the villain managed to burn Hawks pretty badly at some places, because he didn't take his jacket with him. When the villain shot the wave of flames at him, Hawks did the usual quick unfold of his wing that he did the first time Dabi tried it. But he seemed to have learned Hawks’ trick from then since he kept it up for longer. Hawks flew away pretty quickly but he still had to put his arms up to not burn the rest of his face and body. All he wanted was to go home and put his wings to rest, but now a villain knew where he lived and found out about it so easily, that Hawks had to consider changing places just in case. He wasn't going to be able to relax even in his own damn home and he absolutely wasn't feeling drained only by the thought of this fact.
Hawks took a look at his arms and grimaced. They were covered in fresh burn marks and blisters. The cold wind made it a lot better, but Hawks would have had to lie if he said that it still didn't hurt. He suddenly turned sharply to the side to not crash into a billboard. Another wave of pain shot right through his back, making him wince and take a deep breath in. Usually, when he got injured, he would fly home and take care of it there, but now he was worried a certain someone was going to finish the job the second he walked in. Maybe he was overthinking it and either way, there was no possibility of Dabi reaching his apartment before him. But if he used Kurogiri...
Hawks shook his head. He was really overthinking it. But even so, he wasn't going to relax in his home so why not see what some of his friends were up to? He reached for the phone in his pocket and put it to his ear when he dialed the number, ignoring the pain from his arm. It was just a bit later in the afternoon so no one was asleep yet and they were probably done with work already. At least that was true for the person he was calling.
"Hey Rumi, how're you doing?" Hawks said when she picked up.
"Not so bad." She hummed. "I'm finally done with work so I can enjoy a nice glass of wine and rest."
"So you're home right now?"
"Mhm."
"Sweet, I'm coming over." Hawks tilted to the side to head her house's way.
"Hah?" Rumi asked, making Hawks grin. "Ah yes, thank you for accepting my invitation to my house that I obviously gave you. Don't worry, make yourself at home."
Hawks huffed out a laugh. The last rays of sunlight were turning the sky a nice shade of red and ochre colors so beautiful that Hawks made a mental note to take a picture after he was done talking with Rumi.
"So? Can I come over?" He finally asked like a normal person.
"Yeah, of course. Any particular reason for wanting to see me suddenly?"
"Wow, Rumi, you really need a reason to want to see me? And here I thought we were very good friends." He sighed loudly enough for her to hear over the phone.
"Oh my god, this is what I have to deal with when I'm on a break?" Despite the statement, Hawks could hear that she was smiling. "Tell me when you get here."
"M'kay. Oh, and can you prepare bandages and a first aid kit." Wow, what a way to put it, Hawks scolded himself in his mind but before he could say anything, Rumi was already speaking.
"I'm sorry?! Are you okay, what happened? Do you want me to call-"
"No, no, no, I'm fine, I swear! I just got slightly hurt during my shift. It's nothing fatal, I'm okay."
Rumi sighed angrily. "Don't scare me like this, you idiot!"
"Sorry," Hawks trailed off in a high pitched voice.
~~~
"Ow! What was that for?" Hawks frowned, rubbing the side of his head where Rumi smacked him.
"Light injury my ass, your left arm is roasted!" She scolded him, putting the antibiotic cream and bandages on the table. She sat on the couch next to him. "Can you do it yourself?"
Hawks put his arms in front of him to look at them. "No idea. I can try, I guess."
Rumi raised an eyebrow in annoyance. "You know it won't hurt if you say you need help, right?"
"Okay, fine, you do it then!” Hawks rolled his eyes and lifted his arm up in front of Rumi so she could work easier. He moved a bit and then remembered something. “Wait, actually. "
Rumi stopped mid air and stared at Hawks while he spread his wings and rested them on the back of the couch. If he was at his house, he was probably going to let go of all the feathers until he had just the base of his wings, but he wasn't going to do it in someone else's home so he made a compromise with just spreading them. They weren’t as big as they were when he first left his home in the morning since Dabi burned lots of them, but they were enough to carry him to Rumi’s apartment so therefore they weren't small either. He sighed from relief the second he felt the weight from his back lift off and raised one arm towards Rumi. “Sorry, you can do it now.”
Rumi eyed him, but didn't say anything when she started treating his burns.
Hawks' entire arms were red, swollen, with blisters or all of the above, but fortunately none of his injuries were any worse than that. Rumi put some of the antibiotic cream on her fingers and started lightly putting it on Hawks' forearm with a circular motion. The pressure, despite being small, made Hawks flinch from pain. Rumi stopped raising an eyebrow, asking if she should stop without verbally saying it.
"I'm fine. Ignore me." Hawks looked away and tried to focus on something else, like the chicken with rice they were going to have after he was done getting treated.
"You said you were going to tell me what happened," Rumi said and continued to put on the cream. Hawks grimaced, but tried to stay still as much as he could.
"Can't tell you the details, but let's say I ran into Dabi."
"Dabi? Again?" Hawks sucked a sharp breath through his teeth when Rumi patted around the area of a blister. "I suppose you didn't catch him, otherwise this was going to be a celebration meet up."
Hawks sighed, confirming the statement that he hadn't won. “I didn't bring my jacket once.”
Rumi snorted. She was done with his forearm and had only his upper arm left. “So, did you come here only to use me as a medic-
“Rumi.”
“-or is there another reason you're here?”
“I told you already, I just decided to see you.” Hawks grunted out, closing his eyes when Rumi brushed over another blister. He stayed quiet until she finished applying the cream. His arm was done now, all it needed was to be bandaged. The bunny hero grabbed the bandage roll and lifted Hawks’ arm a bit higher. She began wrapping with his wrist thay had one of his more serious burns located. Hawks’ eyes rolled to the back of his head. “Fucking hell, it didn't hurt like this when I was coming here.”
“You're anxious, Hawks, come on, don't change the subject.”
The winged hero sighed. “Alright, alright.” He tucked his lips in before shooting out the words in one breath. “...Dabi found my address.”
“Excuse me?” Rumi widened her eyes at Hawks, her whole body going tense. It led to her tightening the bandages around his forearm, making him wince.
“Careful.” Hawks breathed out through clenched teeth. Rumi loosened up enough to not cause him pain, but she kept staring at the other hero, baffled. “He didn't meet me there if that's what you're thinking. Just- mentioned and proved it. That's all.” Not the whole truth, but it's not like he could tell her more. “Either way, I still don't want to be there the first night.”
“Holy shit, Hawks, I-” Rumi rubbed her forehead. She wasn't treating Hawks’ arm anymore, even though there was a bit of burnt skin left until his arm was fully covered in bandages. “You're staying here tonight, right?”
“Um, well, I mean- if- I guess if it's not a problem with you?”
“Are you seriously thinking I won't let you spend the night when you have a villain stalker?” Rumi frowned, seeming genuinely pissed at Hawks’ assumption.
The winged hero huffed out a laugh. “Okay, yeah, you're right. My bad.” He began to wrap the rest of his arm on his own, but Rumi slapped his hand away and started doing it herself. She carefully put roll over roll until his arm was fully covered. Making a knot at the end, she grinned, clearly proud of her work. Hawks turned his arm to look at it and gave her a smile of gratitude.
“Thanks.”
“No problem. Now the other one.”
She worked smoothly, easily covering Hawks’ arm in the antibiotic cream and wrapping it in bandages. It was surprising for the winged hero to see how well Rumi did treating his arms. It wasn't like he doubted her abilities, but he thought she wouldn't be as good at taking care of injuries herself. Even though his other arm was done, the pain was still barely bearable for Hawks to not show that it hurt while she put the cream on and wrapped the bandages. It was more than obvious that it was going to scar, which wasn't that surprising, but it wasn't something Hawks would say he was neutral about. Scars weren't a problem for him, he had a few over his body from encounters with villains, but they were never that big. These ones covered both of his arms from the wrist to the shoulder. He only hoped that they wouldn't scar badly.
“All done.” Rumi hummed, knotting the bandages and pulling Hawks out of his thoughts. “Let's eat, our food got cold.”
“Yeah, because you insisted on treating my arms before we ate.” Hawks frowned, looking at the dish with cool downed chicken with rice.
Rumi narrowed her eyes at him. “You said ‘light injury’.”
“I could've waited, I'm hungry.” Hawks complained. He did a quick prayer before taking the plate and chopsticks. Rumi followed his example and took the TV remote.
“Wanna watch Gilmore girls?”
“Rumi,” Hawks groaned at her choice in movies, but she had already put it on. He sighed, shoving a big piece of meat into his mouth. Even though he was eating, his stomach still rumbled from how empty it was. Rumi didn't miss out on this fact, her ear twitching up. Hawks suppressed a groan. He really wasn't in the mood to have a ‘take care of yourself’ lecture.
“Hawks,” she said with a warning tone.
“You know, this series is actually pretty interesting, I really like the girl with-”
“You need to eat.”
His eyes closed, face clearly showing the dread this conversation brought him. “Rumi, please-”
“Take food with you if you actually don't have that much time, but-”
“I'm genuinely begging you, please leave it and stop trying to mother me, I'm fucking fine.”
“What have you eaten tod-”
“I said it's fine. I'm fine. Everything is fucking fine, I know how to take care of myself, I'm not a child.” He turned towards her, hoping that the firmness in his voice would be enough to make her drop the subject. The bunny hero frowned and opened her mouth to speak, but Hawks cut her off, meeting her eyes with his slightly annoyed ones. “Leave it.”
She exhaled sharply, but still turned away to keep watching the movie. He also moved his head towards the screen, but he wasn't exactly watching the show.
It's not like he wasn't aware that she was doing all of this because she cared, but he was just so tired of people treating him like he was so.e helpless child. First Madam President, now her, he didn't need to be reminded to take care of himself. If he decided to skip breakfast he did it with the full knowledge that it's not okay. He was more than aware of it, but that was his decision. He could always eat later and specifically now, it was all because he was extremely busy with the League's case. Afterwards, things were going to calm down and he was going to start building some healthy habits. But just for then, he was going to do his thing.
They spent the rest of the night as if nothing happened, watching a few episodes of Gilmore girls (Hawks was ashamed to confess to himself that he had enjoyed watching it, but he was never going to tell Rumi that), talking about annoying villains and coworkers and keeping each other company. When it was finally time to go to bed, Rumi gave him pillows and blankets to sleep on the coach. For the first time in a while, Hawks actually had a pretty good amount of sleep until he was woken up by Rumi, telling him to get ready for work. He was whining the whole time, but he was hiding a smile. He was quite thankful for everything she had done for him.
~~~
“This is insane, you can't expect me to agree to that!”
“Lower your voice, Hawks, it's been decided.” Madam President was trying to hide the fact that she was losing her patience.
“Of course I can see why you would want me to agree to everything Dabi wants to do without interfering, but wasn't the whole point of me joining that I'd protect more people from the inside of the cause?”
“No.” Hawks clenched his jaw at her disagreement. “The point of the mission is to figure out their weaknesses and find a way to stop them so that they won't cause trouble in the future.”
“So you want me to see them kill and torture people and just turn my head the other way? You can't disagree that that's immoral.” Hawks’ skin was boiling from anger, but he couldn't let his anger slip out again. He had already lost his composure and told Madma President ‘Are you fucking serious?!’ right to her face. She only raised an eyebrow but it was enough for Hawks to apologize, even though it was more mechanical than an actual apology.
Because she wanted him to stop overthinking how a situation might go and consider more seriously if it'll be risky for Dabi to not notice that he's keeping them from doing their villain work. He was aware of the impact understanding the League's methods was going to have in beating them was going to have, but he couldn't separate himself from his morals that much.
Madam President sighed and leaned forwards on her desk. “Listen, Hawks, I know how this may sound, but you know that everything I do and decide is what I think is best for the future of our society. I don't like this plan any more than you do, but if we want something to change we have to make sacrifices. You have to let yourself not worry so much. I can only imagine how difficult this could be for you, but I picked you because I knew you can handle it. You're very strong and that's what makes you the perfect hero for this mission. So please, don't waste such a big opportunity for heroes and society, because of ‘what if's.”
Hawks kept his eyes on her with gritted teeth. At the end he realized there was no way out of it and sighed. “Okay. Fine. I'll be more careful.”
“We all appreciate it, Hawks,” Madam President nodded her head, approvingly. It showed he had picked the right choice, but it didn't feel like that at all. How can leaving people hurt be a choice at all? Hawks pushed those thoughts away. He bowed when he was dismissed and left the room. It wasn't exactly like he could just jump out of a window (even though he really wanted to), since he was a goddamn professional. And because it would've looked pretty awkward.
Hawks walked through the corridors with hands in his pockets, head raised as high as always, but his eyes were on the floor in thought.
Deep down, he knew Madam President was right. This was the only way to keep his mission in action. No task can go into action without the risk of mistakes or errors. Just because Hawks was able to consider all kinds of defects in plans didn't mean that any of them would come true. It was a trait he's had ever since he was little — every time someone told him about a question with only one correct answer, he tried to find another possibility to use. He just always had to have a backup plan. Heading towards a scene with no plan wasn't something he ever did, no matter how quickly he charged into it. After all, physical speed was nothing without the ability to think fast.
So yeah, this condition he just accepted really wasn't a joy to follow, even though it would be the most secure one.
He had to go home, lay down and revise what his mission and goals were. There was no room for mistakes, it was way too important. He's already been the reason for people's deaths, never innocent ones but whoever he was commanded to eliminate. He would've just kept having to use the cold mask, even though he hated the out of body experience it gave him. But if it was going to stop the possibility of society distrusting heroes, because of their inability to catch villains for such a long amount of time there was nothing else he could do.
It's all in your head, Hawks thought, making himself jump a little. This wasn't a calming technique he used frequently, he actually hasn't used it in years. The last time he did it was after Touya died and Hawks was convinced his ghost was haunting him. Especially because their last meet up really didn't end with them being on good terms, so Hawks’ imagination always made sure he would hear Touya's voice and it was almost always angry since it was the last time he's ever heard it. Every now and then he'd feel a hand on his shoulder or see a shadow in the corner of the room. It was a lot for a twelve year old kid to handle, especially while he was training to become a hero. That's why people always made sure to assure him that none of it was real so when hepwpuld hear the voice he'd repeat like a mantra ‘None of this is real, it's all in your head’. After some time, he did stop seeing him and it made him even lonelier.
Hawks shook his head to get the memories out. It wasn't like the situation was anything like his childhood hallucinations, more like the words themselves spooked him. It was a very weird variant of deja vu.
Without realizing, he was in front of the exit of the HPSC building. Taking a breath in, Hawks spread his wings and flew into the sky.
Notes:
I love how you can tell I'm a biology nerd here and there and I STILL SMH HAVE PROBABLY FAILED THE TEST 😔💔
Why is my ass always yapping at the end notes, i had to delete a paragraph, I'm sorry, see y'all next week (i hope)😭
Chapter 6: The feeling of nothing
Summary:
CW: minor character death
Silent panic attack
Notes:
Hiiii, how have yall beennnn
Yeah I know, I apologize for the late update once again :,) I do want to make it clear, though, that I will definetly start posting without a schedule since I hated the last chapter, but I still posted it because I felt like I had to post a chapter as promised. I have great hopes for this fic so I do not wish to water it down and post just so I could post. I'm not dropping the fic, but the updates will be slow, hope that's okay for yall :)
Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Everything is set up. Best Jeanist should be able to do his part in the mission smoothly today.” Madam President reassured Hawks.
“Did you double check? It's the right dose of beta blockers, right?” She nodded. “The makeup looks convincing and won't come off?” She nodded. “And you're certain we'll be able to have him leave the country safely afterwards?”
“Hawks.”
“Okay, I got it! Better safe than sorry!” The hero raised his hands in surrender. He looked over to the document with the plan layout. It wasn't difficult, quite simple even, but the constant feeling of anxiety from leaving Tsunagu helpless at the hands of a villain, without the clear knowledge of what Dabi was planning to do with the body, was big enough for him to want to take a step back. That damn time limit Dabi set. If it wasn't for it, they would've still been planning how to do it. Hawks even managed to convince Tsunagu to not rush things and Dabi decided to pull this and they were left with no choice but to set the barely cleared out plan into motion. But Hawks was almost sure it was going to go smoothly.
“Where are he and the paramedics right now?” The hero asked.
“They should be at the ambulance next to the building. Waiting for you to go downstairs.” It wasn't safe for Tsunagu to go to a hospital for the beta blockers, but it wasn't like they could give him the medicine without a professional around them so they had to come over.
Hawks shook his head. Clear mind, simple and smooth mission. “Right. Let's go.”
Both he and Madam President went to the back exit to go to the ambulance, hidden in the HPSC parking lot. The area was big enough to fit all of the employees’ cars in it, but currently more than half of it empty. Given the late hour, it wasn't that surprising, but it still gave off a weird creepy vibe.
The back doors of the ambulance were wide open, revealing Best Jeanist sitting on the chair inside and two doctors reordering stuff and probably getting ready. Hawks had to force his jaw up the second he saw Best Jeanist. The makeup team were doing their job well, because he looked absolutely wrecked. More than that, he actually looked dead — his skin paler than usual, the cheekbones and eye bags were more defined and his lips looked like they hadn't seen Vaseline in ages. The second the pro hero saw Hawks and Madam President he stood up.
“Madam President.” He bowed down then turned his head towards the winged hero. “Happy to see you, Hawks.”
“Right back at you, Tsunagu.” Hawks gave him his usual grin and put a hand on his shoulder in a greeting gesture. “How're you feeling? Nervous? Dead already?”
“Not really.” He shrugged. “After all, you'll be the one leading the mission. You know what to do “
Hawks grinned wider, but it looked pained. “I wasn't nervous before, but now I am. It'd be kind of ironic if I let you die now, wouldn't it? I do feel honored to have your trust, though.”
“Of course you have it, number two. Just like with good fabrics, I pick my friends wisely.” Best Jeanist fixed his hair to the side. Hawks felt the way his smile turned more genuine to the words. He was starting to feel certain nothing was going to go wrong.
“We're ready for you, sir.” One of the doctors spoke. Hawks looked towards her. She was holding a…scarily big syringe. Now, Hawks didn't have a fear of syringes or needles in general, not at all, but this one just looked terrifying. It was fairly thin, but almost as long as the doctor's hand, the needle itself taking more than half the full length.
“I don't envy you in the slightest, man.” Hawks told Best Jeanist, taking a step back. He looked at him and just… decided to make sure. His expression calmed, the joking tone disappearing from his voice. "Last chance to take a step back.”
“We can't really make another plan anymore.” Madam President reminded from behind him. It was the first time he ignored her and kept his eyes firm on Best Jeanist’s. The other hero only nodded.
“I'm aware. I still would like to do it. But Hawks, I need to remind you something.” He looked at him straight in the eyes, not breaking eye contact for a second. Hawks gulped and resisted the urge to move away. His eyes were cold, but they usually were so the winged hero gave his best shot at trying not to look away. “If anything happens, whatever it is, it won't be your fault. I was the one who decided to do it. I don't want you blaming yourself for my choices and the risks I take. Keep doing your job. Okay?”
It was a big struggle, but Hawks put his smile on. “You have nothing to worry about. After all, you'll come back safe, am I right?" He looked away. “We're both heroes, we know the risks.”
“Glad we're on the same page, then.” Best Jeanist nodded, turning his head towards the doctor. She pointed towards the chair at the centre of the ambulance, leading him to take a comfortable seat. Best Jeanist lay down, placing his arms on the armrests and pulling the sleeve of his jean jacket up, until the vein on his elbow crease was revealed. The smooth skin reminded Hawks of his last injury that covered both his arms and he had to shove the thought away forcefully. His arms were still covered in bandages, but whatever magical cream Rumi had put on him worked and he could easily ignore the small stings he felt from time to time from the scars.
“The plane after the mission ends will be ready, won't it?” Hawks asked Madam President, bringing his attention back to the present. “The one for France?”
“The second you call and say everything went smoothly.”
“See then, you'll make it.” He turned back to Best Jeanist. “You have an entire long vacation to attend.”
“I could use some rest.” The other said in thought, slicking his hair to the side with one hand.
Hawks snapped his head to look at the way the doctor raised the already filled with medicine syringe to take a final look. The winged hero had to turn his eyes away during the whole process, since the idea of a needle, as long as this one, being inside of someone's vein made him feel nauseous.
“All done,” the doctor said, pulling away from her patient, but not too far to not be able to hold a small cotton ball to the place the needle had been. Hawks looked at his friend who didn't show any signs of having his heart nearly stopped. Thank god that the doctor kept going to explain further more. “The effect will kick in fully after around three minutes and last for thirty. Hawks,” she bowed down in a quick show of respect before looking at him. “You should have more than enough time, but during the last five minutes the heart rate will come back slowly so be wary of that. Best Jeanist should be asleep in a minute.”
As if to prove a point, the hero's eyes were already looking tired and he was blinking slowly. His vision seemed to be unclear as he raised his hand in front of his face in an attempt to focus his vision on it. The doctors told him to rest and not fight it for a quicker effect and soon enough he was blacked out on the chair. The second doctor stood up from the chair he was sitting on while writing, and walked to Hawks and Madam President. “By the time you're done with setting him up, he'd be fully asleep.” He looked at Hawks and bowed low. “Good luck with your mission, thank you for everything you're doing for us.”
The hero grinned. “Just doing my job. Keeping you all safe is my top priority.”
The doctor rose up and nodded, retreating back to his previous spot in the ambulance. Hawks sensed someone coming closer to them from the end of the parking lot and spread his wings to hear better.
“That's the person with the bag.” Madam President reassured him, probably realizing his caution from his tense state. Hawks nodded, relaxing only partly.
When the guy arrived, he was indeed carrying a huge bag (enough to fit a human inside) in one hand and a small box in the other. He looked at Hawks and that's when the hero noticed the other had rectangle shaped eyes instead of normal ones. Sick quirk, Hawks thought but he pushed the thought away when the guy opened the small container and started talking.
“This is an earpiece that will record and send anything around you to us. Whatever you say and talk about will be automatically transmitted to us. Here, you put it in your ear.”
He rested the small device on Hawks’ palm when he put it out. The hero stared at it for a second before dropping it in his ear. When he was younger during his first missions, he would've been terrified by the thought of having this thing anywhere near his ear canal. He had this fear that it was going to roll inside, because of how small it is, and he was never going to be able to get it out. Time and experience helped overcome the fear, but Hawks still felt cautious putting it in his ear. He tilted his head from side to side a few times, making sure that it wouldn't come out. When it didn't fall out he raised both thumbs up with a smile.
Madam President cleared her throat to get the hero's attention. “You said Dabi was going to call you at 5pm. Ten minutes have passed since then and there's no call.”
“Yeah, he does that,” Hawks muttered, taking his phone out to check if there was a call just in case. With his peripheral vision he saw the doctors and the man who gave him the earpiece preparing Best Jeanist to put him inside the bag. Just when he opened his mouth to ask if they needed help, his phone started ringing. He got it out to see, as it was expected, a hidden number.
“Speak of the devil,” he muttered to inform Madam President and picked up. “Hey, Dabi, very nice to hear from you.”
“Shut it, bird, you have the body?”
“Sure do. But there is a tiny change of plans.”
“How many times do I have to tell you, you can't make your own conditions.”
“Oh, come on, just this once. I promise it's the first and last. I will be revealed immediately if I'm not there.”
“Is that so?”
“Cross my heart.”
Hawks could basically hear the eye roll through the phone call.
“Change in meet up spots, I'm guessing? What is it, the police station?”
Hawks resisted the urge to sigh in relief. “Very funny. No, it's the perfume stock warehouse that's currently closing.”
“And where on Earth is that?”
“Next to the bank. Well, not exactly, but pretty close. Oh yeah, you burned a small shop really close by, you'll recognize it if you go there.”
Dabi stayed quiet long enough for Hawks to start questioning if he had hung up. The place wasn't chosen randomly — with that many easily flammable objects, the chances of Dabi lighting up anything was lowered by a lot. When Hawks saw the villain hadn't hung up he went to call for him, but the other finally started speaking again.
“I don't know, Hawks, won't there be many heroes there?”
“It's all clear,” he looked at Madam President who mouthed ‘More or less’. Hawks scrunched up his nose and returned back to his call. “There will be a maximum of one or two heroes. There's nothing you need to worry about.”
“You're on thin ice, birdie.”
Hawks tucked his lips in. “Sorry?”
He heard Dabi sigh on the other end of the line. “If you're lying or trying to trick me you-”
“I'll be dead or roasted, yeah, yeah, I got that.” Hawks waved his hand around.
“Meet me there in ten minutes.”
“M'kay, see ya!” Hawks said before hanging up the phone. He looked at Madam President who had her usual emotionless expression. Then his eyes turned to the doctors and the other guy. They were sitting on the chairs inside the ambulance and were looking at Hawks, faces clear with curiosity. But the hero's eyes immediately turned down to their legs, where Best Jeanist was lying peacefully inside the bag, zipper still open. Hawks stared at him for a second before moving closer.
He crouched down, folding his wings so they wouldn't hit the doors of the ambulance, and placed two fingers underneath the other's jaw. A few seconds passed. Then some more. Finally a very weak pulse hit his fingertips. Hawks exhaled slowly, standing up and taking a step back. Okay. That's good. He'll be fine.
“Hawks.” The hero raised his head towards his boss. “Ready to go?”
Taking a deep breath in, he nodded.
~~~
“Shit, man, why are you so heavy?” Hawks muttered, adjusting the bag for the fifteenth time in the last minute. He made big flaps with his wings to rise up higher in the sky. The changing colors of the sky weren't as impressive as they had been a few days before, but the navy blue, hidden by clouds, was still beautiful enough for Hawks to stare at for a second. He fished out his phone to look at the time. One minute until their meetup hour. He smiled at the accuracy as he titled down, pushing the bag close to his body so it wouldn't fall. Swaying around the buildings he lost speed, landing smoothly in front of the warehouse. The area wasn't that populated, people didn't go there often so Hawks hadn't lied about there not being many heroes.
The darkness of the night had swallowed the city, the weak light of the street lamps, being the only source of light around Hawks. He tried to peek inside the warehouse from the window, but the glass was old and dusty and it was basically impossible to see through. The hero adjusted the bag on his shoulder and lifted a small sharpened feather towards the lock of the door, but as suspected, it was unnecessary. The lock was melted.
Hawks cracked his neck and pushed the door open. The smell of perfume didn't hit his nose as he hoped it would but it wasn't unexpected. He stepped inside, spreading open his wings a bit to be able to sense if there was any movement happening around him. Breathing.
“I can hear you, you know?” Hawks said, sending a feather to hover over Dabi's head. The villain caught it and turned it to ash, sending a weird feeling lingering inside Hawks’ stomach. He couldn't understand what gave him this weird sense of deja vu, but he didn't quite have the time since Dabi started talking.
“I'm not the type that hides, as you've noticed.”
“You bet I have.” Hawks snorted out a laugh. “You're quite loud with your hatred.”
“Good.” Dabi’s face was flashed for a second by the lights of a passing car, revealing the coldness in his ice blue eyes. He inflamed his palm, making Hawks take a step back. “Don't worry, I won't do anything. Just to be able to see.”
“Careful with that, one spark and the whole place is going down.”
“Hm, sure.” Dabi nodded towards the bag. “Who is that?”
Hawks took a breath in. Everything will be okay.
“See for yourself.” He took the bag off his shoulder and placed it on the ground in front of him, carefully. Taking a step back was like trying to do it with weights tied to his legs, but he did it anyway. Dabi crouched down and unzipped the bag. His eyebrows raised high as the corners of his lips lifted.
“Best Jeanist? I thought you two were close.”
Hawks shrugged. “Not that much. It was easier that way.”
“So how'd you do it?” Dabi put two fingers underneath the other hero's jaw. Hawks held his breath, unable to answer as he watched the villain rest them there for a bit longer than Hawks would've liked. At the end, he pulled away, his expression not revealing if he had felt a pulse or not.
Hawks forced himself to speak. “Poison.”
“Hm.” Dabi accepted it. There was something Hawks didn't like about his expression. It wasn't like he had figured the hero lied to him, but there was a change from after he checked for a pulse. More distant in a way? Hawks didn't know and this fact was driving him crazy.
“Honestly, I didn't think you'd have the guts to do something like that,” Dabi admitted, leaving the bag and standing up to be eye to eye level with Hawks.
The hero grinned. “Told you I know what I want. So? Will you keep your part of the deal?”
Dabi stared at him for a second before his face twisted into a pained smile. “Ah, right. Well then, birdie. I guess you could be fit to join the team.”
Hawks’ smile widened in victory. It was worth it. The plan was going smoothly and he had finally taken another step with his mission. He felt over the moon and was basically holding back the excitement he had to push down. Hear that, Madam President?, he thought, fighting the urge to hold a finger to his earpiece.
“What are you planning to do with the body now?” Hawks asked when Dabi kept looking at Best Jeanist, the fire way too close to him for the winged hero's liking.
“I don't really care, as long as this doesn't give me trouble.” Dabi exhaled slowly, turning his eyes down to Best Jeanist. “I guess we'll have to get rid of the evidence now.”
Hawks’ heart skipped a beat, but he made sure to not lose composure. “I can do that. Maybe throw him in a lake. Or the ocean. If it's the ocean it'll also move the attention from the League.”
“I told you, birdie.” Dabi’s eyes flashed dangerously, reflecting the blue light of his flames. “I don't care about that. And you're not touching that body anymore.”
The hero swallowed thickly, his stomach twisting almost painfully in worry. Shit, shit, shit, this was not good.
“Are you serious?” Hawks asked in disbelief. “I killed a hero like you asked and managed to bring him to you, but suddenly getting rid of the body is this whole trouble?”
“I can just burn the bag to ash. Why would you go through all this said trouble, as you worded it, when this is the fastest and simplest option?” Dabi asked, the challenge clear on his face. The corners of his lips were pointing up. He was enjoying this.
“You can't inflame him, the whole building will burn down.” Hawks warned, looking warily at the way Dabi's flames were getting wilder and more out of control with each second.
And this was the look that was going to haunt Hawks’ nightmares for the days to come. Dabi raised an eyebrow, his whole face filling with joy when he smiled and let his fire drop from his hands, enveloping the entire bag Best Jeanist was in.
Hawks sucked a sharp breath in, but that's all he allowed himself to do. He couldn't react, not right now. Not when his reaction was exactly what Dabi was seeking. But it was hard, it was way too hard for him to keep his breath evened out, stop himself from dropping next to the bag in an attempt to stop the fire, resist the urge to drop his entire mission and just help Tsunagu.
He remained still, staring at the bag. It was a weird sensation, feeling the way your emotions leave your body until you felt absolutely nothing. His eyes quickly averted to Dabi, a worried mask immediately taking over his face.
“Are you insane, this will draw attention in seconds?!” He pointed towards the fire, spreading from the bag towards the fallen perfumes on papers on the floor that lit up one by one, the flames swallowing everything in their way. Dabi waved his hand around.
“It's fine. But if you want to stay hidden you should fly away now or they'll find you here.”
“You-” Hawks glared at Dabi (I'll kill you, I'll kill you, I'll kill you, I'll kill you). He took a last glance at the bag, but was frozen in place the second he did so. Most of the bag had burned down, revealing Best Jeanist’s closed eyes above his collar. He looked asleep. Hawks felt his eyes sting. He squeezed them shut before exiting through the door and flying away into the sky.
Hawks made fast flaps with his wings, putting so much effort into making them big his back started hurting. His breathing was normal, his eyes were stinging from before and the wind crashing right against them didn't help at all. There wasn't a reason for him to pretend to not feel deep sorrow and regret, but he couldn't find these feelings. They just weren't there.
Hawks squeezed his eyes shut as he shook his head to the side, using his thumb nail to fish the earpiece out of his ear. The second the small metal ball was in his hand he dropped it, letting it fall down lost into the city.
A vibration from the inside of his pocket made him snap back to the present. He reflexively wiped away tears that weren't there and reached for the phone. His hands moved automatically and it was like they weren't his to begin with, no feeling of them getting the phone out and picking it up.
“Yes?” Hawks asked, voice firm, lacking any emotion.
“We need you back at the commission's office now.” Madam President's voice echoed through the speaker. Hawks bit his lip.
He knew he was a ticking bomb. The littlest thing could shatter the state he was in and make him lash out. It was a situation he was familiar with, but it had never been that intense, he almost felt scared by the nothingness inside him.
“May I come thirty minutes later?”
“Hawks, you can't not be aware of how important-”
“Please,” he whispered, his voice finally breaking, revealing that the decision he took was, in fact, the correct one. He was feeling something. Hawks didn't know whether to be happy that he still had those simple human emotions, or scared from what's to come.
Madam President stayed quiet for a second, but Hawks felt like it was way longer. In the end, she sighed.
“Thirty minutes. Not more.”
“Thank you,” Hawks replied, letting out a sigh of relief.
Madam President didn't hang up, but she stayed quiet again before speaking. “I'm sorry, Hawks, I truly am.”
Hawks felt his stomach turn. He felt nauseous. His whole body was numb, making the sensation feel like he was watching everything through the eyes of a video game character, instead of actually being there.
“See you in half an hour,” he said before ending the call without another word.
He fucked up. He fucked up badly.
~~~
Hawks entered his apartment as usual, leaving his jacket on one of the handles and locking it behind him. Throwing his shoes to the side, he didn't even bother to move them to their proper place. The living room was dark as his whole apartment was. When he left the only source of light were the rays of sunshine coming through his windows, but now he didn't quite want to bother turning his lights on.
It was weird. Hawks still didn't feel anything. The closest he was to cracking the facade was when he asked his boss for some time. The light shake of his voice convinced him he wasn't stable enough to go through a whole meeting, but it seemed that there was nothing to worry about. Hawks didn't feel relaxed by the realization though. It was almost scary — the way one of his closest friends died in front of his eyes and he hadn't even shed a tear. But he was glad, since he could go to the emergency meeting with no worry.
Hawks looked at the time on his phone. Twenty three minutes had passed. He was glad the commission was very close to his own apartment, since he had just enough time to reach it without being even a second late.
He cracked his neck and went to the balcony.
~~~
“This was catastrophic!”
“A top chart hero is dead!”
“You said the plan was ready-”
“Why didn't you make him wai-”
“How are we going to-”
“Okay, okay, okay, quiet down!” Hawks stepped in, since Madam President wasn't able to calm down the raging crowd of people in the room. They were all types of people — coworkers, people who worked on cases with the League, accountants, even a couple politicians that knew of the HPSC's dirty business. Around ten people were talking over one another, trying to speak louder than the last to get answers that… Madam President may or may not have.
She cleared her throat, giving Hawks a thankful glance when the room went approximately quiet. “As you all know the fiber hero, Best Jeanist, is dead. The cause — Dabi.”
People started speaking over one another again and Hawks had to speak up to calm them down once again. “One by one everyone. Okay, you go first, ma'am.” He pointed towards a woman with fish gills on her neck.
“What went wrong? You promised that everything was planned and it was going to go smoothly.”
Madam President took a breath in. “As I stated and as some of you know, we did everything in our power to protect him and make sure he came back unharmed. But as it's clear to every hero, the job always has a risk. Best Jeanist knew how many there were, but he was the one to volunteer with helping this mission be achieved. He knew the risks and he accepted them. Villains are often unpredictable. This was the case today.”
“And what are we going to tell the people?” A small, bald man in a suit asked.
Madam President thought about it. “We can't say it was a secret mission since it'll reveal the real reason to the villains, making what he did pointless.”
“We could say he was attacked by Dabi?” Mero offered and this was the first time since Hawks got there that he realized the tired businessman was in the meeting. “He was burned after dying so it'd be convincing.”
Madam President nodded towards him, gratefully.
“Wouldn't the autopsy show otherwise?” Someone inside the crowd asked.
“You don't have to worry about the details.” Madam President reassured him. Hawks clenched his jaw, but didn't say anything.
He's more than aware that the HPSC has great power. They have done a lot only with money or connections, even blackmailing every now and then. Madam President was holding so many companies they cooperate with on a short leash without any of them even noticing. Hell, even some policemen were aware of what they're doing and they hadn't said anything. They had power, and it was secure, but also very fragile. One secret slipping would've been enough to send all of them down like a fast domino effect of secrets and crimes. The only reason the people who knew about the blackmailing and illegal businesses hadn't said anything was because they all knew what the commission meant for this country and hero society. Without them everything would've fallen into chaos. The dark part of hero society, yet the only thing stopping a villain apocalypse.
That never stopped Hawks from despising what they were doing. A man shouldn't have that much power without anyone knowing. He knew what they were doing helped, but sometimes there'd be a situation in which people's lives are set on the line. The HPSC didn't protect people.
They protected peace.
What did it matter if they sacrificed one life at the price of millions? This is what their motto was and it infuriated Hawks to great extent, but he stayed quiet. Because how was he any different?
A well calculated job was having to kill someone, a villain, so their quirk wouldn't be an issue. Another well calculated job was having to decide which collapsing building he was going to stop first depending on how many people there were and leaving the one with less people in the hands of fate. Cold logic was engraved in his brain — if he had to kill, he'd kill, if he had to make a sacrifice, he'd make that sacrifice. It was easy like that.
Only that it really really wasn't. That's where the bigger issue came in — his black outs. If a job was hard to finish he'd dissociate, be completely out of it, leaving his senses weakened and he hated it, but he had perfected it and that didn't mean it never hurt, but everything was paused, letting him handle a situation in the moment just to break out of it later. It didn't feel nice, it never had. Sometimes his senses wouldn't come back in a day, leaving him in a weird, out of body, foggy state , but he couldn't help it. And usually when he got back, something had broken him out of it and he'd forgotten why the thing was so difficult to deal with. But not always.
“...this time? Where are Best Jeanist’s belongings?” Someone asked, making Hawks blink back to the present.
“We have someone take them and put them in a box. She'll carry them here any minute now.” Madam President explained. Just as she said, a young woman, looking no older than thirty, walked in carrying a… surprisingly small box with stuff. It was barely as big as a microwave, Hawks frowning a bit at the sight. He took a step closer, but Madam President cleared her throat and he froze in place. Giving her a questioning look, she gave him a sign to wait as if that answered anything.
The woman started taking objects out of the box. Best Jeanist’s phone, his comb, wallet, keys, a book and a piece of paper. Hawks’ curiosity got the best of him as he peeked over to see what was on that note. There were words scrambled over it. Flour. Bean sauce. Chili paste. Scallions. Ginger. It was a grocery list.
Hawks always got back to his senses after every dissociation without his control, only by triggers. He never knew a grocery shopping list would be too much for him to handle.
He stared at it. People around him kept talking, but he didn't hear anything. It was a recipe for very simple meat buns. Hawks knew Tsunagu loved them and even though he's usually a terrible cook, he put effort into learning to make them perfect, leading to Hawks forcing him to cook for him every now and then. Tsunagu was going to make meat buns that night, because he thought he'd come back. He had made plans for the future, because he was sure he was going to reach it. And Hawks failed him.
Images of the winged hero's friend kept flashing through his mind — Tsunagu's calm expression, unaware of his upcoming death when the flames swallowed him whole. Him telling Hawks he trusts him and everything would be alright, because Hawks was supposed to succeed. The last hug they shared before Tsunagu was injected with the medicine. Hawks felt his heart clench tighter at the memory of him wrapping his arms around the other hero, both men thinking it wouldn't be last. Because Hawks didn't deserve to be Tsunagu's last hug.
Tsunagu was dead, and it was all Hawks’ fault. He had so many opportunities to prevent it — convincing him not to accept the mission, manipulating Dabi into prolonging the time limit, talking to the villain more about him trusting Hawks and why he should leave it all to the hero. They were just so many. Too many.
They were too many for him to think back on Tsunagu telling Hawks not to blame himself if he ever died. No matter how anyone twisted it, you can't say something is true when all the facts are saying otherwise. He just failed. It all happened way too fast, but Hawks was meant to be the fastest hero.
(He couldn't see or hear anything around him, he could feel the pounding of his heart right into his ears, only covered by a sharp ringing sound that didn't cut off, a weird tight feeling in his chest, almost like pain, that kept escalating and squeezing until-)
Someone was calling for him. He was aware of that, but he couldn't hear who it was. What if it was Tsun-
“...Hawks.” A hand wrapped tightly around Hawks’ forearm, shaking him. He blinked a few times, his senses slowly coming back to him, until his vision focused on Madam President's concerned expression. When she saw he was back from wherever his mind went to, she let go and asked,” Are you feeling alright?”
Hawks cleared his throat. “Yeah. I'm fine. Sorry about that.” He looked around and was baffled to find out all of the people who were in the room in what seemed seconds ago were gone. He looked down in embarrassment, the room falling quiet.
There was a sigh and then, “Take the next two days off.”
“Listen, boss, I know that-”
“Don't make me repeat myself, Hawks, you need them.” Madam President cut him off. The hero clenched his jaw, but didn't let go.
“I don't need it. What I do need is a distraction and locking myself in my room will not do-”
“Find someone to be with then. I don't want to see you tomorrow at work. Am I clear?” Madam President raised both eyebrows, basically daring him to say something more. He grunted out a fine, before bowing down and leaving through the door.
Notes:
Dabi to Hawks during the trade: Who dat in the BAGGG 💜 LMAO
yeah, sorry for killing BJ, oops. I wanted Dabi to be smart in fanon since he was a complete fucking idiot in canon. Because like WHY DIDN'T HE DESTROY THE BODY OR idkkk CHECK IF HE'S ACTUALLY DEAD???
See yall at some point, take care <333
Chapter 7: Two days off
Summary:
CWs: Grief and coping with the death of a loved one
I don't really know what to put trigger warnings for, if there is something I'd missed, please feel free to tell me
A few fixed mistakes from past chapters (sorryyyy): 1. Apparently I wrote Mera's names as Mero T-T
2. Touya's hair was supposed to be red, not white, while he was training with the HPSC (not canon, but he never did train with them so)
Chapter Text
Hawks’ first free day was, lightly put, absolute shit.
He didn't go to work, because Madam President basically ordered him to stay at home and so he did. It wasn't relaxing, or recharging, or the time where he got his feelings out, crying on one of his friend's shoulders. He was drained and sad, but even the thought of people being around him when he was like that made him feel suffocated. Hawks had turned off the sound of his phone, but he could still see it lighting up when he got a message or someone had called. Lots of the calls were from Rumi.
And it wasn't fair, Hawks was more than aware of that. Tsunagu was really close with Rumi, too, and she obviously needed the winged hero's support, but he couldn't bring himself to pick up the phone. He was too tired. He shouldn't have been the one comforting Rumi when it was all his fault for their friend's death, it felt wrong. Hawks lay on his bed the entire night, but he didn't sleep, he wasn't even sure if he blinked. Minutes, hours, days, even years could've gone by but he wouldn't have felt them pass.
Even though Hawks didn't pick up the phone he was still able to see the messages. Eat something, one of Rumi’s messages said. Hawks clenched his jaw, his stomach twisting with nausea. Yeah, of course she'd have known he wouldn't eat anything, she always knew. The thought made Hawks’ heart squeeze as he went to the bathroom to finally take a shower.
The cold water hit the space between his wings, making him shudder. He gritted his teeth, trying to shove the thoughts away so he could be at peace at least in the shower, but of course they wouldn't budge. It was the same thing over and over again — Tsunagu, laying on the ground, helpless, as blue flames swallowed him whole. Hawks had been so close to him. If he had decided to reach out and touch him he could've. If he had decided to leap forward and save him he could've. A few feathers would've been enough to drag him away from the fire. But he didn't. He stayed loyal to his stupid mission.
If something happens to me, don't blame yourself, were some of Tsunagu's last words to him. It was silly. They had the same value as when a person told their friends not to get them anything for their birthday. It was obvious they meant it, but no one was actually going to listen, now, were they? And Hawks definitely wasn't going to listen to lies, whose only purpose was to help him sleep at night.
During the first night Hawks didn't sleep. He didn't quite expect to, if he was completely honest, but it was annoying to lie awake in bed for two hours with nothing but his thoughts. So he threw away the covers and got up, giving up on sleeping. But the thing was, there was nothing he could do to distract himself. He appreciated Madam President's way of showing support through letting him take a break, but it wasn't really the kind of support he needed. Especially not when the only thing on his mind was what happened. He didn't lie to not sound weak or whatever his boss might've thought, he did need a distraction and doing hero work had always been the best kind of one.
Maybe he should've followed her advice and talked to someone, preferably Rumi, about the situation, but he had never been the one to have an open hearted conversation about how he felt. Deep conversations about life were no problem, but he felt naked whenever someone asked him about his problems and he had to explain them.
Hawks had tried therapy two times in his life. The last one was because Rumi dragged him by the ear to the room to try, since he was ‘overworking himself’ by her words. It wasn't bad or anything, he just didn't want to talk that much and constantly made jokes, which were labeled by his therapist as a defensive mechanism. Hawks stopped saying as many afterwards and then time was up before the therapist could point out the change. Rumi said one session, Hawks finished one session. It was the last time he ever went to therapy.
The first one ever was a bit different. He was a kid, still training with the HPSC. The therapist was assigned by Mera. He sent her to Hawks twice a week for two months after Touya died to help him get better. Hawks didn't want a therapist because after the first week of Touya's death he locked the thoughts away and tried to ignore the emotions. That numb feeling was still there, but when he decided to pretend it didn't exist and refused to think back on the memories everything was fine. The therapist could've been amazing, but Hawks wouldn't have known. He answered the questions simply, never opening up fully, never taking the words too deeply because otherwise it hurt. He just wanted to get the sessions over with. And just like that, his time in therapy ended.
Hawks was lying down on the couch of his apartment with nothing but his thoughts and that was never not annoying. He hated when constant memories of the past flooded his brain and now when it was mixed with his best friend's death he couldn't do anything except for staying down and letting the thoughts consume him whole.
I wanted to ask if my letters reached the boy I used to share a room with? Todoroki Touya?
Hawks… Todoroki died two weeks ago.
Hawks expected to be familiar with grief. He had lost many people, some not as close, others he almost considered family. He thought another one of his closer people dying would have meant being prepared to deal with it, knowing how he'll feel afterwards and being ready for it. Hawks never did learn that grief isn't a feeling you can be prepared for. You can't learn how it feels, it's never the same feeling as the previous one or the first one or any experience whatsoever. Hawks expected sadness and the overwhelming feeling of anger, but none of it was there. The guilt was suffocating him, he couldn't stay at one place, but even the thought of standing up and doing something made him exhausted. He hated feeling that way, but he couldn't even make himself want to get out of that state, because it meant getting over the fact that he'd killed his best friend.
Whenever Hawks ate, the food tasted like ash; whenever he managed to stand up, it was a weird out of body experience like he was watching his movements through a screen. He hated that feeling, hated it, hated it, hated it.
But the guilt kept him chained up to it.
On the second day of his break someone knocked on his door. Hawks planned to ignore it as he did the previous times, but this time the person started banging and didn't stop until the hero sighed and dragged his feet on the floor towards the door. When he opened it he thinned his lips. Yeah, he should've expected it.
“Hawks,” Rumi greeted coldly, her eyes not managing to cover up a glare. Hawks smiled lightly in return, but he knew it looked ridiculous since he didn't put enough effort into attempting to fake it well. When Rumi realized she wasn't getting anything more her nostrils flared. “I texted you. I called you. The least you could've done is let me know you're still alive, for goodness’ sake! Do you know how-” She stopped mid sentence, closing her eyes for a second. “Our best friend died, Hawks. I'm sure he put up a great fight and died with no regrets and I admire him for that.”
The words shot Hawks right through the chest. I'm a hero and as one, even if I do die, I want to do it without regrets. Those were the exact words Tsunagu told him when he accepted the mission. Did he fulfill his wish? Hawks would never know.
“But.” Rumi continued, snapping the winged hero's attention back into the present. “He was still my best friend. Lots of time insufferable and way too tame, but it didn't hit me less and it's pretty rare for me to need help and support, but at that moment it would've been nice to have you by my side. A person who would understand it best. And you weren't there, Hawks.” Rumi narrowed her eyes, blaming the other hero.
Hawks gritted his teeth. His bite was so strong he might've as well broken a tooth. He didn't want to deal with any of that at the moment. He wanted to slam the door shut right at Rumi’s face and walk away, but he didn't. Hawks knew she was right, he was acting like an asshole, but the last thing he needed was another person reminding him over and over that Tsunagu was dead and the achievements he reached and his purpose in this world and yada yada. It was all just empty words over and over again.
“Listen, Rumi-”
“You can't isolate yourself! Especially not now.” Rumi cut him off, her expression a bit softer, but still firm. Hawks was losing his patience.
“I can and I will. I don't want to be rude, please just go.”
“This isn't healthy Hawks. You can't bottle shit up every time you feel something and not expect it to blow up right in your face one day.”
Hawks inhaled slowly. “Sure.”
Rumi’s nose twitched up in annoyance. Her mouth twisted as if she wanted to smile, but it was obvious she was pretty pissed at him. “Listen, I can't tell you how to live your life, but maybe for once think about someone other than yourself alone. I thought I wouldn't be alone if I had you. Don't prove me wrong. Take your time to get better. Have a nice day, Hawks.”
She didn't wait for a reaction before slamming the door right at his face, giving him the peace and quiet he wished for. But for some reason Hawks wasn't happy when he got what he wanted. This made him blow out an annoyed exhale.
“God, just pull yourself together already,” he muttered to himself. But that's when the frustration hit him.
How could Rumi tell him he was thinking only about himself? After all the things he did when no one else could have handled it, just because he didn't want to put all the pressure on another person, was that a moment when he was thinking only about himself? Just once he decided he was going to put his own needs above anyone else's and not contact anyone for a day and suddenly he was selfish and only thought about himself.
Hawks moved without thinking when he picked up his keys and jacket before putting on his shoes. He went out on the balcony and jumped off of it.
~~~
The second floor on the left.
Behind the door.
Third window on the second floor.
Behind the trash can.
Feathers were flying all around Hawks. During moments like these there was nothing that could break off his concentration.
Years and years of everyday training had made him into the hero he was today. And even though he hated senses testing when he was younger, he couldn't not come back every now and then to train them. It was one of his most useful techniques he had learned during his time with the HPSC mentors. Having his eyesight blocked by a blindfold was always annoying but with the years he had begun to find himself to have the best concentration when his vision was restricted. Even during hero work, he'd stop and close his eyes to feel all the feathers he let go off at the same time, making his job easier.
But the technique had its risks — the world around him became unreachable whenever he concentrated on movements and vibrations around him and he was left vulnerable and a pretty easy target to sneak up to, even though it definitely didn't look like it.
Hawks moved to the side, a fake bullet flying past him.
There were exceptions, of course. If there weren't people to be saved. Just as much as younger Hawks found senses training annoying, that's how much he found a distraction and a weird sense of euphoria in it now. Just like some people went to the gym when they felt sad — the training room was his gym.
No thoughts, no feelings, no people around him. Just him and the diagrams he had to shoot through. That's why he loved the place.
Three people at the window on the second floor.
Three fast shoos and the diagrams were gone.
It was difficult to design a program that sent off vibrations and had its movement detected, but the HPSC's engineers had it made in no time when Hawks arrived for the first time. Using small nanoparticles that moved quicker than the flap of a hummingbird's wing, they were able to fake the quick movements of atoms and generate a very weak amount of energy. Just enough to be detected. Hawks didn't know the exact way they managed to do that, the technology was far beyond his knowledge, but it was definitely the key detail to his training.
Hawks sensed people coming from behind him, moving quickly. He turned and flapped his wings, feeling them fall down as he sent feathers their way. There was a sound of repeated gunshots, forcing Hawks to wrap his wings around himself and spin himself into the air as he sent a feather through where the sound came from. But something unusual happened.
The second Hawks stepped back on the ground, he got dizzy. His head started spinning and he was left unaware of his surroundings. Two beeping sounds signaled to him that he'd been shot. Hawks gritted his teeth as he flew up. When he gathered all his feathers back, he shot them around, clearing the arena. But when the last feather spun through the field to reach its target, he stopped it last second. Diagrams have a vibrational frequency, very similar to the ones that came from humans, but they couldn't replicate heartbeat and breathing patterns properly. So when Hawks' so-called target's pulse started speeding up and sucked a sharp breath in, he knew it was an actual person.
Hawks removed his blindfold, looking over at the entrance. Just as he assumed, a woman with long braids, holding a big paper bag, was staring wide eyed at the feather centimeters away from her chest. The hero flew down, pressing the button on the wall when he landed. Immediately, the fake arena disappeared, leaving them in an empty room.
“Yuki-san,” Hawks greeted, the feather pointing at her coming right back to his wings, as the woman bowed down. “So sorry about that. I didn't expect anyone to come in.”
“No, no, I should be the one apologizing. I'm sorry for disturbing you, Hawks.”
“Nah, it's fine. ” He gave her a charming smile, making her look away. “So?”
“Oh, right! My apologies.” She blushed, fixing her posture and returning back to a professional state. “I was sent to inform you by Madam President that she, I quote, ‘can't force you out of the training room, but it'd be good for you to actually take your day off as an actual break’.”
Hawks bit the inside of his cheek, forcing the next words to sound at least a little less annoyed. “Is that so?”
“She asked me to give you this.” Yuki gave Hawks the paper bag she was holding. The hero eyed it before slowly taking it from her hands and looking inside. The second he opened it the warm scent of a poke rice bowl hit his face. He scrunched his eyebrows slightly in confusion, looking up at Yuki, who had a sad expression on her face. “She's worried about you, Hawks.”
The hero scoffed out a laugh, but it was half hearted from the confusion. “She doesn't get worried. It's like a second quirk of hers.”
Yuki shook her head. “She does and she is. She told me to inform you that if you don't rest, she'll have you take more days off.”
Hawks stared at her in disbelief. “So much for ‘I can't force you not to train’.” He sighed, lowering the bag next to him. “Thank you. You can go now, I'll be going as well.”
“I can… wait for you. If you want. You might need help with some stuff.” She obviously tried to keep eye contact, but failed to do so a few times. Hawks smiled at her politely.
“No need. I appreciate the offer, though.”
“Right.” She muttered quickly, turning away, but seemed to remember his position and returned to bow down. “Goodbye, Hawks.”
“Bye.” He waved as she quickened her walking pace.
When she was gone, Hawks let out a sigh and looked in the bag again. Fine.
He used a towel to wipe the sweat off his body and locked up the place before heading towards his apartment. Madam President sent him food…? He wasn't sure how he felt about that.
It was well known by Hawks that Madam President could have at least a little bit of tenderness towards him, but he never expected her to give him cooked meals after he grew up because she was ‘worried’. He had thought she only saw him as a weapon, but those were childish thoughts. Madam President wasn't a monster. She might be a cold hearted woman, but that didn't remove her ability to get attached. And she did take Hawks in for most of his life, watching him grow up into the person he was now. She seemed to have cared enough to know one of his favorite meals and give it to him. Hawks had a warm feeling in his chest as he flew around buildings, the wind howling in his ears.
When he arrived home, the dish had long gone cold, but he placed it on the table and took some chopsticks from the kitchen counter. He wondered if he should turn the TV on, but quickly decided against it when he remembered there might still be stuff regarding Tsunagu's death. His stomach grumbled as he sat down from the lack of food. Inside the bag, next to the box with the poke bowl was placed a protein milkshake. The corners of Hawks’ mouth turned up lightly as he took a sip and began eating.
~~~
The funeral was a week and a half after the news got out.
Hawks had long returned to his everyday life. People kept talking about it and made a memorial in front of Tsunagu's agency where they would offer flowers, candles and other gifts in memory of him, showing their regards to all he's done for them as a hero and a person. Hawks visited it a few times, when it was late at night and there were barely any people there.
The offerings contained photos and gift cards. One photo caught Hawks’ attention. It was a picture of a small kid, probably no older than seven years old, standing next to Best Jeanist. The kid seemed excited, showing all teeth and Hawks noticed that Tsunagu's eyes were squinted as if he was smiling underneath the tall collar he wore. It was a very sweet moment.
Hawks kneeled down next to it and picked up the note. ‘Thanks for saving me and my mom. I know you did everything you could to save daddy, but it's alright that you didn't, mom said he's at a better place now! Say hi from us if you see him.’ Hawks tried to swallow the glass ball that formed inside his throat, leaving the note back at its place.
When he went there the next time there was a blonde young boy looking at the memorial. Hawks usually would've paid him no mind if he didn't immediately recognize him.
“Hey,” he called out for him when he stepped closer. The boy's sharp red eyes pierced him, obviously annoyed, making it clear that he had not wished to be disturbed at that moment. It was way too late for Hawks to take a step back and leave so he kept going. “I know you. You're from Tokoyami's class. Bakugou, was it?”
Bakugou clicked his tongue, looking forward towards the photo of Tsunagu on the altar. “Yeah, so what?”
“You trained with him during your work studies.”
“I know, I was kind of there.”
Hawks stayed quiet for a second as his eyes narrowed. Tsunagu was a patient person, but the winged hero had no idea how his friend had managed not to strangle the kid.
He turned towards the many gifts left for his friend. “He told me about you, you know.” This finally seemed to spark up curiosity inside the kid. His head turned towards him, but Hawks wanted to hear the words before continuing. Bakugou scoffed.
“Seriously? Fine. What did he say about me?”
The corners of Hawks’ mouth turned up. “He thinks- No, he knows you'll be an amazing hero one day.”
Bakugou kept his eye on him. “Is that it?”
“He told me you're ambitious. Fierce and ready to do anything to win and save. You've got natural talent that you don't waste and he's sure you'll be on top of the charts very soon.” Hawks turned towards the kid who was catching onto every word the hero said. “And he is sure you have great chances to be first if you lose the attitude.”
Bakugou frowned, gritting his teeth. “Shut up.”
Hawks smiled. “You haven't forgotten about your training with him, I see.”
Bakugou waved a hand his way, rolling his eyes in offence. “As if. He gave me some damn good advice when he was my mentor. And he was a damn good hero.”
“He really was. One of the best.” Hawks’ smile turned down slowly until it disappeared. He exhaled slowly, taking a step back, but Bakugou started speaking again.
“He didn't deserve to die from a damn extra like that fire freak.”
Hawks stopped in his pace, before muttering over his shoulder. “No, he didn't.”
~~~
Getting ready for a funeral isn't something Hawks was unfamiliar with. He wished he could remember it clearly, though. It was a blurry memory for him.
He put on a black suit and bought flowers for Tsunagu's parents. He was only there for the wake, since Tsunagu's family wished for themselves to be the only people to attend the following day, due to their son's popularity. Only the people closest to him attended the wake, of course, but most of the sidekicks from his agency were there, along with childhood friends, colleagues like Rumi and Hawks, and the many relatives he had. It was still very crowded so Hawks could a hundred percent understand why his parents and siblings had wanted to finish the funeral alone.
Hawks had prepared a speech. Many people did — most of them cried, shared stories, all mentioned the amazing hero and person he was. In the end Hawks wasn't able to go out there. He put the note with the things he wanted to say in his pocket and left it on the altar they had set for Tsunagu.
Rumi was there. She and Hawks talked a bit. She wasn't mad at him anymore, but even if she was she wasn't going to show it at a funeral. He promised her to have breakfast together two days after so he could apologize for being a dick to her the last time she came to his apartment.
Dabi didn't contact Hawks once after accepting him into the League. The hero checked his phone regularly, even his email every once in a while, but there was no trace of the other. Hawks was starting to wonder if the whole deal they had was just a trick to get him to kill a hero, but he couldn't allow himself to think that way, otherwise he was going to find Dabi and kill him himself.
In the beginning of the third week of radio silence, Hawks’ phone finally rang with an unknown number while he was going home from his shift. The hero picked up the phone, relief overflowing from him.
“Hello?”
“Hey, pigeon. Wanna meet the rest of the League?”
Notes:
There is an extremely high possibility that the funeral scene is unrealistic, but I tried my best to make it accurate to Japanese traditions and I did my research, but I was still way too worried not to mess smt up :,).
I finally decided on what to do with Dabi's pain tolerance, here's an explanation: He doesn't feel anything on his skin. He was burned from the outside, so the nerves on the outter layers of skin don't send signals to the brain that something is wrong, but his organs and areas with a wider area of meat or wtv are still affected by pain since the fire never reached them (*hides the scene where Aizawa broke Dabi's arm and he didn't feel anything under the carpet*). I tried my hardest to make it canon and scientifically accurate, but I very much could be spouting bullshit. At the end of the day, Dabi can shoot fire out of his ass, so who cares if it's not biologically possible 🤸
Chapter 8: The leader of the League of villains
Summary:
CW: heavy description of nightmares and how the person reacts during them due to PTSD, take care guys <3
If you feel the need to skip them the first scene starts right from the beginning until the first ~~~
The second one starts from the second ~~~ and ends right after the dialogue ends
Notes:
...ahem, hey guyssss!! 🥰
I'm BACK, WHO CHEERED!!? *looks around the empty room*
This was one hell of a break and the chapter isn't even that long, i apologize for it but I did say my writing is slow and inconsistent, I do feel bad for the people who were waiting for updates if there were any, im sorry yall :,)I hope you enjoy this chapter! <33
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Oh, come on, man, just one night!”
“Hawks, I've told you this before, I don't drink alcohol.” Tsunagu looked pointedly at the winged hero.
“You don't need to drink! Just come with us, it'd be fun!” He pushed the other's shoulder with his own, making him frown slightly.
“It's not a good idea. We both have hero work the next day and we need to be in our best states for that.”
Hawks waved his hand around. “Yes, yes, I know, we'll go home early. No alcohol either. Deal?”
“Why don't I trust you with that?”
Hawks raised both hands in surrender, looking down. “I don't know. I'm your best friend. Have I ever lied to you?”
Hawks felt the atmosphere changing drastically. “Yes. You promised me you won't let anything happen to me, Hawks.”
The winged hero frowned, looking up and almost fell to the ground from how quickly he moved back from the other, eyes widening. Tsunagu's face was sickeningly pale, his eyes unfocused, staring right through Hawks. He looked- he looked-
“You let me die there. I trusted you.”
“W- What?” Hawks blinked quickly, trying to remove whatever he was seeing in front of him. Was it a villain's quirk? An illusion one maybe? How didn't Hawks see them coming? Why didn't Tsunagu say anything?
But then the memories came rushing through his brain. The deal, the mission, Hawks giving Dabi the supposedly fake body, Dabi burning it. He shook his head.
“No, I didn't- I didn't expect him to burn the- to burn your body, I thought-”
“How convenient. What a hero you are. It looks like you don't protect others from suffering like you thought you did. My mother is all alone now.”
Hawks looked at him helplessly, but Tsunagu's face didn't change. He looked dead. He was dead. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I tried, I swear-”
“Tell that to her.”
Hawks felt his throat tight, like someone was grabbing it. He couldn't speak or breathe.
"Trying doesn't get you anywhere. You need to achieve.”
The winged hero closed his eyes, shaking his head. This isn't real, he can't be here, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, wake up, you just have to wake up.
“Just because it isn't real here doesn't mean that what I'm saying aren't facts.” Hawks covered his ears, but he could still hear each word despite that. “You were the one who put the gun in Dabi's hands and aimed it at me. Just because he is the one who pulled the trigger doesn't mean it's not your fault.”
“Shut up. Shut up!”
“Accept it!” Tsunagu reached forwards in the blink of an eye, grabbing Hawks’ face and-
The hero gasped a breath in, shooting up from where he was sleeping a second ago. His breathing was rapid and uneven. He blinked quickly, but the image was still clear as day in his mind. After a few minutes, when Hawks was breathing approximately normally, he leaned forwards, resting his face in his palms. Just a nightmare. It was all just a bad dream.
~~~
“So I was just chasing after him through the entire city. And I usually use my feathers to catch villains, but this guy's quirk was him being slippery, can you believe that? What are the chances of me getting a villain like this? Anyway, I had to-”
Hawks was shut up by the sudden flash of blue flames that appeared in front of his face. The hero took a step back, feather sword materializing itself in his left hand as he lifted his gaze to meet Dabi's cold blue eyes through the fire coming from his hand.
“Shut. It.”
Hawks narrowed his eyes at him, putting the feather back in its place. Dabi let go of the fire, making it disappear and shook his head. “I'm surprised this actually got you to stop talking. Don't you have hero work or any friends to bother?”
“Wow, rude.” Hawks rolled his eyes. Madam President had decided to change up Hawks’ schedule a bit to make it fit his secret mission better. Now, he was working two hours less a day and he had four days off a month instead of the usual two. At first the hero was against it, but given his messed up sleeping schedule and the necessity of him to prove himself to Dabi, convincing him wasn't that difficult.
The hero waved his hand around. “I mean, I could go do hero work, but I'm feeling kind of down today. I will just say I was very high up in the sky and they couldn't see me patrolling.”
Dabi scoffed. “Sounds like you've done this before.”
Well no, Hawks hadn't, but he couldn't tell him his shift had actually ended right before their meeting so he just smiled and shrugged. “I guess we'll never know.”
Dabi eyed him and stopped walking. Hawks blinked and looked around to see where they were. There was nothing special about the place they stopped at except for the stairs leading down towards a metal door. Dabi waited for Hawks to look back at him to start talking.
“Can you come here on your own if I tell you to?”
Hawks frowned, but nodded. He made sure to always remember each and every path he and the villain had taken so he could make connections and maybe figure out where the League was hiding. Not like it was many times, though, it was actually just then and another time when Dabi needed Hawks to unlock the door for a closed Ramen place. It was indeed a weird request, but Hawks was too apprehensive about asking what it was for since the villain looked ready to bite his head off every time Hawks opened his mouth.
Dabi nodded towards the door.
“Boss wants to talk to you in person. When I call you I want you to come here and knock on that door four times. That's when you'll meet him.”
Hawks’ eyebrows shot up to his hairline.
Okay.
Wow.
“Are you serious?”
Dabi exhaled in frustration and looked away. “Do I sound like I'm joking? If it was up to me you two wouldn't meet for a while. But an order is a fucking order,” he said through gritted teeth. He took out his phone and typed something on it before putting it back into his pocket and continuing with his instructions.
“When I do finally call you, you will arrive immediately. I don't want to hear any excuses from you and I don't care if you're in the middle of a meeting or at your best friend's wedding, this is your only chance you'll get to talk to him.”
“Hey now, that's not very fair.” Hawks crossed his arms. “I'm not a dog to call at your command and I certainly can't disappear into thin air the second you call me.”
Dabi smirked at him bitterly, narrowing his eyes as he did. Like a goddamn child. “Do I look like I care?”
Hawks narrowed his eyes at him, but before he could reply a black swirl appeared behind Dabi. Hawks tensed up as he watched it get bigger and bigger, his hands itching to grab his sword, wings opening wider and ready to attack. But then he recognized the pattern he had only seen on the news. Kurogiri's quirk.
Dabi gave him a lazy smile before turning away. “Don't be late, bird,” he said as he entered the portal. It wrapped around him, swallowing him immediately, before shrinking and disappearing. Hawks stared at the place where Dabi was a second ago. He cursed under his breath.
This fucking bastard.
Dabi had called him once before to talk to him about meeting the rest of the League, right after the three weeks of complete radio silence after Tsunagu's death. Dabi had told him he was planning to find a place where they can all meet without any of the heroes noticing. Hawks was skeptical at first, since he was sure Dabi didn't trust him, but after the villain explained to him how they all wouldn't get off his ass for each and every meeting the two of them had, Hawks withdrew his concerns a bit. Just a bit. Because he still had an important person to convince he was on their side.
A meeting between the League and him was never arranged, though. Maybe they didn't have time or Dabi hadn't yet decided on a place, but Hawks was still waiting for him to tell the hero that he is finally part of the League. That his best friend's death wasn't in vain.
Hawks took a final look at the metal door before heading back towards the HPSC building.
~~~
“Stop, why is this happening, this isn't real!” Hawks squeezed his eyes shut in despair, covering his ears, but it was like his eyelids had become transparent and his hands weren't even on his head.
“You can't even look at what you've done.” Tsunagu said with uncharacteristic disappointment. It was just him and Hawks in the same warehouse he died in. The winged hero couldn't fully process how it looked inside, but he had a bigger problem to focus on.
“Why can't I fucking wake up?” Hawks’ voice shook as he hit his temples with his wrists, hands clenched. He felt like he was moments away from hyperventilating, but the heavier he breathed, the more he felt like the oxygen was draining from the room. Out of nowhere Tsunagu grabbed Hawks’ wrists before they could hit his head again, making the winged hero's breath catch in his throat.
“Do you think you deserve to?”
Hawks’ eyes blew wide open as he raised himself up on his bed, choking. He struggled to even out his breathing, constantly swallowing from the dryness in his throat contrasting how much he was sweating. After what felt like hours, he was breathing normally and he could no longer hear his heartbeat pulsing in his head. But then the exhaustion hit him as he let out a sigh and fell back with a groan.
The nightmares were getting more and more frequent and each one was definitely more creative than the last, Hawks had to give them that. It started simple with Hawks reliving Tsunagu's death every second night, always the same scenario, exactly as it happened the first time. Sure, he hated it, each morning he woke up with tightness in his throat and a bitter taste in his mouth, but he thought to himself ‘Maybe that's not too bad, maybe I could live with it, the least I could do is remember’. Then the first different one came on his one month death anniversary. Tsunagu finally started talking back to Hawks, voicing all of the things the winged hero had thought about himself throughout the entire month his friend was gone for.
And this was something Hawks wasn't ready for — seeing the clear image of how his best friend looked when he died, blaming him every single night without rest. The winged hero had replayed the memory of Tsunagu dying so much in his head that he was immune to reacting to it in his dreams. It was just a memory, a light sting to his heart that ended when he woke up. But the new development was something he was not prepared for and he didn't know how to deal with it.
He started dreading the part of the day where he had to go to bed, staying awake despite both his body and brain yearning for the opposite because his mind was always on guard, alert, never allowing Hawks to peacefully close his eyes. He had to search for sleeping medicine and buy some to help him sleep. It didn't make the nightmares disappear, but he was able to fall asleep, so he considered it a small win.
~~~
Hawks stood at the door anxiously, fidgeting with the bow of the flower bouquet. He kept swallowing and looking around as if he was afraid someone would see him. Probably fifteen minutes had passed but the hero still couldn't bring himself to ring the doorbell. He took a breath in and raised his hand quickly, but it still froze before pushing the button. Hawks closed his eyes, exhaling in defeat.
He looked at the door one last time where the Hakamada name tag was nailed with beautiful golden stripes and denim like patterns surrounding it. Hawks gritted his teeth as he left the bouquet on the doorstep and took a step back before flying away.
~~~
“Don't get your hopes up, bird, the boss is the one who insisted on meeting you personally. I will keep being the source connecting you and them.”
“Who's the messenger bird now, huh? Whatever you say.” Hawks waved his hand around even though Dabi couldn't see him through the phone call. The weather was way too windy for him to be flying comfortably, but Hawks gave up on trying to bargain with Dabi to change the date of the meeting. It had the same effect as requesting something from a spoiled toddler — Dabi's word was the law and he rarely even heard Hawks out.
This, of course, pushed the hero extremely off rails as he barely managed to hold himself back from lashing out at him. He didn't even know if Dabi was doing it on purpose to piss him off or if he genuinely thought Hawks was trying to trick him with each damn question. Whichever it was, it definitely pissed the hero off anyway.
Hawks was surprised to get the opportunity to meet Tomura Shigaraki so soon after starting his work with the League. He definitely believed Dabi when the villain said his boss wanted to meet Hawks, the stubborn asshole never would've suggested it himself.
It wasn't easy to pretend Hawks didn't want to shoot a feather through the center of Dabi's forehead every time he talked to him. When Hawks was called to a quiet street to give documents with information he almost wasn't able to hide the anger and guilt building up inside of him when he met Dabi's eyes. It had the same hatred, the same sadistic glint it did when he enveloped Tsunagu with his blue flames. It made Hawks sick to the stomach. He wanted to kill Dabi, but there was that opposite emotion planted in his mind. Hawks didn't think he deserved to get revenge on the villain. Despite everything, despite the reminders and reassurances, he still fully believed the true reason for Tsunagu's death was him and him alone. Dabi didn't know he wasn't actually dead. He got rid of evidence. Just like anyone would've done. Just like Hawks would've done.
So he kept going on these simple meet ups with Dabi every now and then, swallowing down those emotions that could interfere with his mission. It had been a month since Tsunagu's death. Hawks and Rumi did talk. The winged hero apologized to her, saying how the sadness made him unable to think straight and that's why he didn't want to speak to her, and blah, blah, blah, half truths, enough to fulfill what she needed to hear to not push him to speak more. He did feel bad about partially lying to her, but it was either this or he was forced to speak about feelings he definitely did not want to share. Rumi accepted his apology with a few light (rough) punches on his shoulder and told him to not lock himself up again or, by her words, she was going to beat the words and teeth out of him.
Hawks was glad they were on good terms again. He didn't want to lose yet another one of his best friends. If being forced to talk about emotions against his will was the price he had to pay to keep Rumi by his side he could consider the possibility of opening up a little. Maybe.
But Hawks still hated the fact he couldn't get help with Dabi. It was always one step forward and three steps back with him — Hawks brings him whatever he needs, Dabi congratulates him, Hawks asks a simple, supposedly harmless question and Dabi is back at the hero's throat, telling him to not push his luck. It was starting to become extremely annoying and inconvenient for Hawks to do his job until Dabi called him one day and told him Shigaraki wants a word with the hero. Hawks was so glad he could have thrown a party in celebration. But of course, the news had to go through Madam President first.
“Do you think it's a trap?”
Hawks scrunched his nose up for a second. “I doubt it. I mean, it's still a possibility, it's that fire bastard who wants to make my life a living hell we're talking about. But he sounded pretty annoyed when he told me about it and I'm guessing he's not very happy with the idea of me meeting his boss. If he were lying, he'd have said it casually to sound mysterious and unpredictable.” Hawks rolled his eyes aggressively while giving Dabi the names.
Madam President nodded, fully ignoring Hawks’ comments about the villain, like she was used to them. The audacity! “I have complete trust in your judgement Hawks, but please be careful. You need to convince Japan's most wanted villains you're on the same team. We can't have them kill you.”
“I know, I know, there's no one better than me.” Hawks gave her one of his grins, winking. “I am your best soldier after all.”
Madam President smiled lightly, but it didn't reach her eyes. “Correct. But it'd also be a shame to lose you in general.”
Hawks’ smirk faded slowly into a smaller, more genuine smile. It was the closest he was ever going to get to hearing his boss say she appreciated him as a person so he accepted it.
“Don't worry.” He bowed down. “As I said, I'm the best at my job. I won't let you down.”
“That's what I'm counting on.”
Hawks shook his head to get his mind back to the present just in time to dive underneath a billboard before he could crash into it.
Jeez, that was a close call, he thought to himself with a snort.
He wasn't really worried about the meet up going badly. In fact, he was hoping it would go sideways so he could have an excuse to end the League there and then. Hawks was no fool, he knew that he couldn't beat all of them on his own no matter how good he was, but all he needed to do was send one feather up in the sky, towards the person who was going to be standing on top of the building and his backup was secured. He was going to call heroes and the HPSC's soldiers would be sent right away to his location. It wasn't that far away from where they were currently located for a just in case scenario.
Hawks landed in front of the narrow street Dabi took him to and started walking towards the place where the metal door was. His wings were spread a bit wider than usual in an attempt to catch a conversation but he was surprised to find out he couldn't hear anything. He ignored the weird gut feeling from that fact and kept walking normally. When he reached the assigned place there was no one there. Hawks rolled his eyes.
Just as Dabi told him to, the hero stepped closer to the door and knocked on it four times. The sound echoed slightly around him as he waited for someone to open it for him, but it stayed closed.
He still couldn't hear anything even though he was close to the door. Maybe it was sound proof? It made sense, right?
With his peripheral vision Hawks saw a black figure forming. He turned towards it sharply. The now familiar black misty spiral grew larger until it was big enough for Dabi to walk out of it, his eyes chilling as always.
“Good birdie. Right on time.”
Hawks made a face at the nickname but he smiled cheekily. “Yeah, well, you never give me much of a choice.” He couldn't resist looking over at Kurogiri's wrap that was weirdly not going away.
Dabi sighed, turning back towards it. “Alright, follow me.”
Hawks’ stomach dropped. “I- Sorry?”
Dabi raised an eyebrow towards him, squinting his eyes in confusion. “To meet the boss? Remember?”
“Right, yeah, that, obviously I remember it, it's just-” He didn't know how to continue his question, a part of him fighting the internal stress from the new turn of events.
Dabi rolled his eyes. “He's not here. I'm currently taking you to him, if you would be so kind as to go through the damn portal.”
Hawks cursed himself mentally. Well, here goes his reassurance. Now even if they did plan to kill him he couldn't call for support. Great. He stepped into the portal, the mist swallowing him whole.
A chill ran down his back, his body going cold for a second, but just as it came it went away and he stepped out of it. His vision turned blurry and he had to hold himself up the wall as he waited for his head to stop spinning. He heard Dabi snort out a laugh.
“Yeah, the first time sucks, but you get used to it.”
Hawks frowned, standing up straight as his vision cleared. The room he was in had no windows, no opportunity of escape and barely any lamps. The only light in the room was from the dim lighting of the ceiling lamp.
Then he saw in front of him Tomura Shigaraki sitting in a chair, one leg on it. As expected, he had his face covered by a hand that wasn't his, but there weren't any others like in the descriptions from the attacks. Even though Hawks couldn't see his face he could tell the villain was staring right at him. Dabi walked to his side, his eyes scanning the room until they landed on something on Hawks’ right. He was about to turn to see what he was staring at, but Shigaraki started speaking.
“Hawks,” he started, one hand scratching his neck. “You want to join the League, is that right?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Hawks took a breath in, the script basically appearing in front of his eyes. “I can see how fucked up the entirety of hero society is. Being the commission's most trusted hero helped me see things average people are unaware of. It sickens me to the core how much awful stuff they can do and get away with it. You, the League, are the people closest to breaking hero society and all those messed up standards. And if I can help in any way make that happen I'm ready to do so.”
Shigaraki kept his eyes on him. Hawks swallowed and almost choked on his spit when he heard a giggle behind him.
“Heard that, Tomura? I told you he's perfect.” A young girl skipped past Hawks and leaned on Shigaraki's chair.
“Please, it was like he was reading it from a textbook. You aren't even supposed to be here.” Dabi rolled his eyes.
Himiko Toga, Hawks recognized her. She pouted, sending Dabi an annoyed look, ignoring the second part of what Dabi said. “Work on your trust issues. I believe him.” She smiled towards Hawks with teeth, revealing sharp fangs. The hero returned the smile lightly. In the blink of an eye, she appeared in front of him, making him hide the way he sucked a sharp breath through his teeth, startled.
“I'm Toga. Himiko Toga.” She put her hand in front of her. Hawks took it gently and bowed.
“Hawks. It's a pleasure.”
She grinned. Just as the hero was about to pull away, she took out her knife and cut his palm. Hawks gasped, retreating his hand and looked at Toga, but she managed to get close enough to take some of the drops that started dripping from the cut. She stepped away, licking the blood off her knife. Dabi huffed out a laugh.
“Your wings are so pretty. The red reminds me of blood.” She smiled, her teeth obtaining a slight reddish glint from her apparent snack. “I've always wanted wings. The pretty birds have wings and they can just go wherever they want and do whatever they want and live however they want. It sounds so amazing. I bet you can live like this too with those wings.” She sighed dreamily.
“Enough of that. It's pointless.” Shigaraki spoke finally, his voice annoyed. Hawks looked down at the cut on his palm. It didn't hurt or bleed that much, but it was the first time in a while he had seen someone that quick. He had to be more careful around her. “So, Hawks.” The leader of the League started again. “That's not your real name, I believe?”
The hero swallowed. “No, but Hawks is fine. You don't need my real name.”
“Oh, mysterious!” Toga exclaimed, pointing towards Dabi with her knife as if it was a pen. “He's the same as you. I can see why you like him.”
“What? I don't fucking like him, what's wrong with you? I don't even trust him, Toga.” Dabi snapped at her, eyes flaming. Hawks had to bite back a smile. This was the most emotion he's seen out of the villain.
“Well, you don't just recruit heroes on your days off, now, do you?” Before Dabi could strangle her Shigaraki stepped in.
“As I was saying, Hawks,” he turned his head pointedly towards the other villains, making them shut up, even though Toga stuck out her tongue towards the other. “I could call you by your hero name for a while, but I want to learn the real one at some point.”
“You will when the right time comes.” Toga cackled at Hawks’ words, feeding into Hawks’ confusion especially after Dabi glared at her.
“Right, but something doesn't feel right.” Shigaraki stood up, taking a step towards Hawks. “You're motives… Dabi is right — it's like you're reading off a script. You want to take down hero society because it's unfair… why exactly? I want to destroy, Toga wants to live freely, but you,” he shook his head. “You don't have a reason, do you? The one you stated is almost hero like. Live in fairness. These guys are doing stuff without telling anyone.” The villain started scratching his throat again. “You'd be a useful player on our team, but if you betray us it's game over.”
“I don't plan on betraying you.” Hawks reassured him. “I have my own personal reasons for wanting heroes gone, but they will stay personal." He send Dabi a glare, hoping that the villain would understand who he meant. The other kept looking at him unfazed, but he did turn his eyes to the side at some poiny. "Whatever you need from me I'll provide it. You can trust that I want to see all the heroes down on the ground, right where they should be, no less than any of you do. But I can't do that if you don't believe that I'm on your side.”
Hawks couldn't feel Shigaraki's eyes on him through the hand. The villain kept staring at him for a second before moving back to his chair and sitting on it. “You had a deal with Dabi. If you bring him a dead hero you're in. You passed that challenge and now you're on the next level. Welcome to the League, Hawks.”
The hero grinned, before bowing down. “Thank you. I assure you, you won't be disappointed.”
“Stand up, bird, we're not the assholes from the commission.” Hawks raised himself to find Dabi rolling his eyes at him. “There's no need for such overdone formalities. Brainless hero.”
“I told you, I'm no hero.” Hawks frowned, but Dabi straight up ignored him.
“This is the first direct task I'm going to give you,” Shigaraki scratched his neck again. What was it with that guy constantly itching, did he have fleas or something? Hawks didn't voice his thoughts, straightening his back to hear the order. “I want eighty six thousand yen.”
Hawks’ jaw dropped. “Pardon? I'm not a bank, did you spend the money I gave you before already?”
“What money?” The leader of the League of Villains tilted his head to the side in confusion before looking behind his shoulder. Straight to Dabi who only shrugged.
“I've got some saved, you can say.”
“Oh, you son of a bitch, I can't believe I have to work with you.” Hawks covered his face in despair before dropping them back down. “I'm going to go broke.”
“No, you won't, number two.” Hawks made a face at Dabi who only gave him an unimpressed look. The hero exhaled sharply, taking out his wallet with great effort and looking through it. He handed Shigaraki the money. “It's ninety thousand. I don't have smaller bills.”
“You- You casually carry ninety thousand yen with you?” Dabi blinked at him and the hero found a spark of enjoyment in himself discovering that he'd surprised the villain.
“Yeah.” He gave the dark haired villain a smug smile as their boss took the money with three fingers. “You said it yourself — I am the number two hero.”
Toga oohed as she looked over the cash. “Is that for the Playstation you wanted, Tomura?”
“Shut it, Toga.” Shigaraki hissed at her and sat back on his chair, raising once again one foot on the seat. Hawks was astounded by the fact he didn't deny the fact that he wanted the money for a console. This was the murderous Tomura Shigaraki who was a threat to the entire country and led a group of just as dangerous villains? It was almost funny.
“And you,” Toga turned towards Dabi who closed his eyes in desperation. “How dare you hide money from us? I could've bought some new cute clothes for myself. Or a new set of knives.”
“Toga.” Dabi eyed her, annoyed.
“Or give them to Tomura so he could buy some lotion for his skin.”
This time Dabi and Shigaraki were in sync. “Toga, shut up-”
Notes:
I have another enemy after lie/lay — commas. Fuck them. I hate them.
Also guys, my marauders obsession is back and omfg I've forgotten how well Bizarrestars wrote, my writing could NEVER compare, they're just the best 🙏