Chapter Text
Walking into the 6th Precinct that morning, Detective 1st Grade Andrea Herrera navigates the usual semi-chaos of the
day tour shift change; after a stop at the coffee kiosk she takes an elevator to the 5th Floor which houses the Seattle
Police Department's Anti-Crime Division; after another quick stop at her desk she saunters down the hall to Inspector
Robert Sullivan's office (who also happens to be her estranged husband): he's busily reviewing paperwork when Andy walks
in calling "Knock, Knock."
"Hey," he hails back. "I'm a bit tied up"...
"I see; anything I can do""
"No...Oh, by the way." He passes a manila envelope over.
"Hmm. The divorce petition...signed ."
Sullivan scoffs softly and replies "You pay an attorney to prepare the petition and file it; the guy serves me during a morning
shift change half the division looking on and you're surprised to see a signature in the signature block? ANDREA...get the fuck
outta my face with that bullshit, yes?"
Sighing resignedly, Herrera concedes. "Robert...fine; forget it. Can we talk later, please? PLEASE?"
What about and when?"
"It's non-work related and whenever you have the time...tonight?"
"I can probably make that work. I'll call you."
"Not too late I hope: I'm thinking of bringing Izzy."
"Hey, HEY!!" For the first time, Sullivan cracks a smile. "I'll MAKE TIME to see mi princesa - HELL YES!" he chortles.
Is he REALLY that excited about seeing our daughter or is he acting like that to punish me ? she wonders. "OK; I'll have her
ready whenever....I'll tell you this: she'll be SO excited...I'M excited, to be honest," she adds.
His expression softens and he says "I'll see you later Andrea."
Once he's gone, she whispers to herself Andrea...it's been...a long time since he's called me that ...
///
'I promise that our love is that of soulmates—the blurring of self and the deep entanglement with another.
I vow to stay your soulmate—to see and hear you every day.
You are my soulmate as we journey through life together. I promise to love you, respect you, and cherish you forever.
I promise to continually recognize our soulmate connection, that what we have doesn't come along all the time.
I vow to remember that you are my soulmate—that we were brought together by fate, but we stay together with unwavering love
and commitment.
You and I are true soulmates and I vow to walk through all this life has to offer us—hand in hand—with you.
My soulmate, I vow to embrace life's every challenge and adventure with you.
I promise to remember that soulmates always endure, even during times of struggle.
I vow to give you my heart always and to foster our soulmate connection as it burns stronger and brighter as time goes on.
I promise to honor you as my soulmate and give your heart a soft place to land at the end of every day '. Andy sighs and asks
"What do you think, Diane; one thing your patients can always count on you for is shooting us straight SO...let's have it."
"Well," the therapist begins, "Nearly everything you did during your time with Sullivan fell far short of 'blurring' self'.
You DID NOT embrace every challenge with him, and you certainly did not honour him - unless by 'honouring him' you mean
jumping into bed with his temporary boss, THEN his subordinate; leaping at and attacking that British detective - and I haven't
mentioned the 'mistook lust for love' debacle"-
"Yes; OK Diane...my commitment vows are SHIT...I'M SHIT so I should just forget EVERYTHING ...I get it: thanks!!"
Jumping to her feet Andy stomps toward the door.
"Now, Now, Herrera...you ask for the truth, knowing full well that asking me not to blow smoke up your ass and when I fulfill your
request you become hostile." Andy pauses, still facing the door; after 45 seconds or so, she regains her composure, turns round and
reclaims her seat. "Herrera...it's beneficial to no one if I tell you only what you want to hear. I'd lose your trust and that of all of my
other clients. You're in this position because your [quotation marks fingers] 'family' never challenged you, sided with you at every turn,
not once spoke up against you after and during your many missteps: you snatch elevator keys from the Chief--HE'S somehow the ass-
hole; disobeyed Sullivan and jumped into the broken pipe: and the 'BigBad' is...YOUR CAPTAIN! Sex in the station - THAT'S the SFD's
archaic rules to blame: certainly not YOU! And somehow insisting that others follow your orders while you ignore THEIRS is jealousy
or petty when they take exception to it. Only one person -coincidently your ex-lover who you also 'dropped' - spoke up against you
disappearing from your marital home without a word and I recall how furious you were...HOW DARE HE go against you after you gave
him 'puss' over and over, right?"
Andy asks as calmly as she can [not too snarkily] "Where's the rest of it?"
Diane laughs aloud. "You asked for it! You aren't cruel yet the many actions you've taken against Sullivan can be classified as level
or two above cruel. Most of all actions speak louder than words; show him along with telling him. Words mean nothing
without actions."
"Fair enough...now that you've unloaded all over me how do I repair all of this damage I've done to my marriage?"
"APOLOGIZE. And before you contradict me I know that you haven't done - too proud, like your Pop. Admit that you were wrong.
I imagine that he's probably less than receptive to any overtures but make him listen."
"It's worth a try, I suppose. Thanks, Diane."
///
Later, on the drive to Sullivan's Andy mulls over what she and Diane discussed earlier:
I DO become angry and combative when challenged; I NEVER take accountability for my actions - blaming poor outcomes on any
and everyone that I could. My 'family' does indeed always take my side...also, despite my protests to the contrary what I'd done was
cruel and worse intentional [I admitted as much to Ruiz]; MY insubordination and rule-breaking have gone on for the five years of MY
career. Worst of all was mydeception ...after leaving Robert without a word and subsequent 'misstep' I discovered that
I was carrying Izabella - terrified of the possibility that Izzy might be MY 'FLING'S' I delayed telling Sullivan about the baby until a paternity test
verify Robert as her father. My anger at Bishop losing her Captaincy had consumed me to the point of a 'snap' decision to file for divorce.
I can finally admit I intentionally caused the process server to serve him during morning shift out of spite. It seems like an impossible task and
I truly didn't expect him to sign the paperwork and was shocked when he returned it to me with a signature. Through Diane's no-nonsense
counseling I now realize how deeply I love him and miss him. I want my family back...
//
To her surprise, her key fob still works, and when she enters a joyful scream of "Mami!!" greets the delighted mother; Izzy squirms out of
her Papi's arms and stumble/walks across the living room floor; her delighted Mother scoops her up and smooches her incessantly.
She smiles a welcome to Robert who returns her greeting. The trio play and talk amicably for the next few hours, during which Izzy brings
each 'plushie' in her crib to show her 'Mami', who dutifully exclaims joyfully to each. By the bye, the toddler wears herself out and sprawls
between her parents (with a foot on her Papi in case he moves)... that's when Andy begins her monologue:
"I've been absolute shit to you, Robert. and I'm sorry—more than I can ever express in words or actions. I really did intend to fulfill my
vows completely--I DID--and somehow...I honestly have no idea HOW : 'Old Andy' crept back in from...from the fuckin'...DARK REALM
I guess [eliciting an explosive laugh from Robert] or I don't know where and before I realized it I transformed into a serial arsonist setting
fire after fire to everything I love: YOU more than anyone or anything." From her hip pocket, she pulls a folded sheet of paper and hands
it over. "Diane and I had words over the re-commitment vows I wrote and she read me the riot act about how hypocritical it reads."?
He reads it through, then hands it back. "Please...keep it," she replies, eyes downcast. "I do believe that you and I are soulmates, as
much as my actions didn't show that. I did help you through some struggles but not the most important ones; near the six-month mark
of our marriage, I felt a...a sort of restlesness about my former 'wild 'n free' days. I loved you and continue to love you and..."
About that time, Izzy begins to grizzle, and without even glancing at her she reaches for the discarded chupon [pacifer] and
pops it into her mouth. "Robert...there's something else...
**TBC**