Chapter Text
“Are you ready?”
The car was parked on the lower side of the private road in the grand estate that belonged to the Ackerman family, under the shadow of the tall trees offering mock-safety from the deceptively bright sun. The driver waited in silence for the owner to give a sign.
You fought to suppress the delirious urge to say no. There was not much that could have prepared you for this, no amount of encouragement and your fiancé telling you that you were the perfect marvel anyone would be lucky to know and what the ones inside thought had no bearing on his feelings regardless of their standing made a change beyond the surface. Bold claims uttered with utmost confidence. You would like to feel reassured by them, your worries just were not the kind that could not be lifted by words alone. You turned to your fiancé, smiling with all the charm in the world and nodded with a gentle curve of your lips that you hoped looked genuine.
“Let’s go.”
The chauffeur opened the door for you and you took one little step out.
Into a new life to which you did not belong.
-
There were people already waiting for you to come out. There goes my final moments of peace, you thought as a man very distinctly dressed as a butler and two maids welcomed you two soon after exiting the car, not allowing you and the young master of the house few more encouraging words before the final shoe dropped and you had to meet the family. Feeling uncommonly uncoordinated, you were nearly light-headed stepping towards the manor slowly growing in size, becoming almost unbearably big every second. Was this really going to be your new home? It sounded ridiculous even to ponder. There was nothing home-like about this place to you, regardless of its beauty. You had no illusions about how you were going to be seen and how rough this was all going to be. Your thoughts strayed more, wondering if your fiancé was going to be about to be rejected from his family for this little stunt and was going to be sent packing - which of course would end your little affair within five days of first promising eternal faithfulness and another one where the confession I don’t think I can do this would come. You already had decided you would not be bitter if that happened. You knew better than to fixate on something so expected, most people would never give up on this kind of life for any kind of emotion. This was a risk you took, accepting his proposal. Coming from a complicated background, you could sympathize, too. It was hard to reject such safety for someone else.
Not that you thought your fiancé even understood what it meant to be unsafe. Maybe that was why he was so reckless with his decisions.
“I hope the journey has been pleasant,” the butler was speaking kindly yet formally with you two. The tall, blonde man had rough features but radiated friendliness. At least he doesn’t seem stuck up, you thought. The other two maids seemed indifferent and they did not speak after murmuring you two welcome and appeared to contently leave the rest of the job to the butler. You briefly wondered if they were instructed to behave this way, it didn’t feel exactly warm, but then again you had no similar experience to compare it with. It was irritating to be so far removed from this world that you would not be able to discern some of the subtle digs. You weren’t used to not having the situation under control and you already did not like this feeling, being completely out of your comfort zone.
The entrance to the manor was intimidating. The giant arch welcomed your little group after passing the ionic columns, decorated tastefully with ivies and various shrubbery in between. The cobble path was so well-kept it was possible to walk in heels without ever risking balance. The shiny surface of bronze statues placed on each side of the ornate gate reflected your movements under the shade. A stronger smell of amber and cherry wood seeped from inside the building, and you realized you have been smelling its undertones ever since you stepped into the estate.
It was hard to re-conceptualize your boyfriend as someone who grew up in this sort of place. You had no idea who he was when you met him and started to date casually. He never seemed to exude the attitude of a man so utterly privileged and born to a sheltered and cushy life like this. Even though you had a lot of time to internalize after he had come clean after a few months, it seemed like you could not fully reconcile what you knew about him with what you were seeing. You felt like you were plunged into an alternate universe and your fiancé was alongside with you, morphed into a complete stranger you weren’t sure you could rely on. Knowing that he was part of the renowned Ackerman family was much different than seeing it with your own eyes.
“Your mother is waiting for you in the music room,” the butler said as you walked into to the hall and fought the urge to look around like you were in a museum. You may as well have been. The wide space was filled with priceless artifacts and works of art all of which selected to match perfectly together, connected with mahogany and gold tones that dominated the entire foyer. Before you could worry about feeling lost, your fiancé nodded to the butler and grabbed your hand, making a sharp turn to the right, almost seeming like he was himself surprised by the change of direction. You felt amused by the notion of meeting in a music room, whatever that was, but knowing only the mother was waiting made you relax, despite assuming it was not great news. Were the brother and the uncle not even going to deign to meet you before they rejected you? It was perhaps all the better, it would save you the headache. Yet you still couldn’t help wanting to exceed the expectations, wanting to prove people wrong, in one way or another. Wanting to refrain from sabotaging yourself just to cling to your momentary comfort as the doubts that never really left you churned in your stomach. It just had been such smooth-sailing with your boyfriend, there hadn’t even been a point of turbulence you could take a step back before, so now it all hit you with the anxiety of the moment. Gerard had been the perfect boyfriend and even with the paranoia of someone who had many bad dealings in life facing something that appeared too good to be true, you could see nothing that signified you needed to get away from it all. You met in a popular bar near the campus you frequented one night and he asked if he could join you. After a night of easy talk he walked you to your apartment nearby campus and the rest was history. He was kind and personable, rather direct with his attentions but without over-confidence. With a slight, endearing bashfulness instead of the arrogance a rich heir would have, you didn’t even suspect anything amiss about his background until he opened up. That was when you found out that he really went to great lengths to hide his identity to have a normal student life in the campus. You weren’t quite sure how you felt about that, though you understood his perspective. Months later, when his graduation was at the door, he proposed, and you had no reason not to say yes.
Now, after long, in the most unexpected fashion, you were going to have a new home and a new family. Again.
And oh, what a home.
What a family.
It felt like a regression in a sense, at your most ungrateful moments, to end up in a place where you would likely be just an outsider at best. You had grown too used to being on your own, coccooned in the comfort of freedom you got after a long while of being thrown from one place to another, addicted to living alone in your little studio where nobody ever bothered you. Gerard knew about your past in broad strokes, that you lost your family to an accident early on, and had spent your teenage years moving from place to place. You were not about to dramatize it all and make the situation worse to sabotage yourself, but you made sure to express how there was nothing you disliked more than living in a place where you would be unwanted, on pins and needles among people who disliked you. He retracted the shotgun wedding offer after that, realizing his foolishness. You didn’t need to give anyone extra ammunition to use against you in this situation where it was already inevitable for you to come off like a blatant gold digger. You wanted to start off on good terms and if it got rejected, then you would at least know you did your best to create a good impression. You knew many would kill to be in your place, and this much strife was to be expected. There had to be some things wrong - otherwise it really would be too good to be true. If they accepted you with open arms, you would actually run. Thankfully, you knew that was not going to happen. The brief description Gerard gave of his family had been enough. Apparently, the people you were going to meet were not going to be that much numerous than the number you had to introduced Gerard to. Your fiancé’s family was comprised of one distant older brother and a mother he seemed to love very dearly and an uncle he described as a character. You had a good feeling that you knew what that really meant, but Gerard’s reaction had only been ominous regarding the older brother, which gave you more room to wonder.
The mysterious older brother and the primary heir of the great Ackerman empire, about whom you could find barely any noteworthy information. Rumors, praise, news of success, praise, more rumors. Impersonal, polished PR. Levi Ackerman, around thirty, extremely successful to a degree his infamous father’s accomplishments paled in comparison, incurable workaholic, extraordinarily private, and if the few pictures that managed to find their way to the public eye reflected reality, dizzyingly handsome. The perfect man. Well, on paper. You felt a little perspiration at the sight of him, and found yourself hoping that he only photographed well. Sharp features, beautiful yet masculine, the intensity radiating from him was magnetic. Jet-black, shiny hair with a military style undercut. A body so well-built you could tell even from black and white photos of him in a suit. Mouth consistently curved downwards in displeasure, when not in perfect stoicism. Predator’s eyes, narrow and gunmetal.
Not exactly the brother in law you would order. Gerard was quite handsome as well, but the two men looked nothing alike, and there was no doubt their personalities were night and day too.
-
The music room you were led into resembled more of a medium-sized concert hall. A grand piano stood right to the center with extravagant purple-gold chairs and lounges that were scattered around. The high ceiling with windows going right up was embellished with pale ornaments, large chandeliers in their center glittering in the light seeping from space between the dark, gold embroidered heavy curtains pulled to the side to reveal the view, bringing in a pleasant afternoon sun.
You couldn’t imagine growing up in a house that had a room like this. You could imagine leaving this place behind to attend university from dormitory even less. Before you could look around for too long, Gerard dragged you to the opposite side of the room where a smaller cluster of sitting places were laid out with frail looking coffee tables next to them, from where a graceful figure smiled at you.
“Hello, darling,” a ghostly yet beautiful older woman reached for your fiancé. “What an occasion returns you to us.”
The woman turned to you with a smile no less radiant as she waited for him to introduce you two. Gerard cleared his throat and made the customary introduction, visibly tense. Your mother in law, whose name you found out was Kuchel, despite being past her prime, radiated a glamour and elegance that was hard to come by. Her jet-black, glossy hair only had slight greying despite her age, styled perfectly to frame her thin, heart-shaped face. Once likely plump cheeks hollowed out with sharp cheekbones emphasizing their angularity gave her a haunting appearance. Small mouth curved in a resigned smile was tinted with a natural pink and her blue eyes were striking with thick, dark eyelashes framing them. She somewhat reminded you of the older brother whose photos you had seen online while snooping, with an opposite temperament, while his son exuded authority, she looked like a tragic heroine in the last chapters of a Victorian novel, lamenting a long lost love.
“What a beauty you are,” she said after Gerard’s introduction and pulled you into a hug as well. “I understand my son’s haste to marry now.”
You repressed a grimace in favor of politely thanking her. She definitely wasn’t wasting any time getting to the point, despite how she appeared at first glance. You tried not to feel defensive, repressing the urge to explain that it was Gerard who wanted to marry because he was going to be moving away from the campus as he was graduating very soon, as if you couldn’t trust that information to be relayed to her properly before. Gerard kept saying he didn’t want so much distance come between you two at the height of your relationship, but a silly excuse it sounded as now, when it seemed fair when you were far away from the judgmental eyes of other people, instead drenched in a deep paranoia that this offer had a time limit. You could do nothing except forcing your fake smile back into its place that it kept threatening to leave.
“It was my idea,” Gerard hurried to your defense, just as Kuchel moved onto asking if you had a pleasant journey and you wanted to kick him a little, a bit unnecessarily. Kuchel turned to him like she was a little surprised to be interrupted with such a thing.
“Of course,” she said, as if she could not even conjure up anything else. “I’m aware of my son’s proclivity towards family life.” She addressed you this time and settled back to her armchair while you and your fiancé sat on the opposing loveseat. “Unfortunate that he doesn’t seem to extend the same tendency towards his existing family, but maybe that will change thanks to you.”
“Mom…” A weak yet frustrated warning came.
You already felt a little lost. Were you just here to be enveloped in a family drama you weren’t even prepared for? Maybe Gerard’s decision to stay in dorms and leave his identity back had not been very well received.
“Your uncle will likely be late,” she said airily, pretending not to hear him. Gerard nodded uncomfortably while you sat there with the same plastered smile. You were not looking forward to what sort of character this eccentric uncle was going to turn out to be if the most beloved mother already was this negative.
“But your brother will join us sooner, I hope,” she added with the same light tone. Your fiancé remained silent and you fought the urge to shift in your spot. Once again you got reminded how much of the information you got regarding Levi Ackerman came from online and not from his little brother. Gerard almost never mentioned him, and you didn’t want to ask as if you were particularly interested in the man.
“So how did you two meet? Gerard’s been so tight-lipped about you.”
Likewise, you wanted to say.
“Both of our friend groups hang out in the same bar in the campus. One night, my friends ditched me early and just when I was about to leave, somebody caught me right in time,” you rehashed the story without thinking, finally happy to be in your comfort zone as Gerard flashed a tense smile at you.
“It was love at first sight,” he added.
“How sweet,” Kuchel commented, you would have thought it was sarcasm if it wasn’t spoken so mechanically. “Have you visited your family yet?”
“Mom, I already told you-“
“I guess you could say we did,” you answered Kuchel, like uninterrupted. “I have two best friends who are like my sisters. Unfortunately, my parents are no longer with us.”
“Ah, I believe I was told you have a close foster family.”
“A foster mother, who unfortunately passed away two years ago.”
Kuchel paused for a beat, that one tidbit must have been what Gerard actually forgot to mention. “My condolences.”
You thanked her and let the disturbing silence occupy the space again, only for Gerard's phone to ring, the melody sounding alien in the gilded confines of the room. He fumbled, quickly apologizing, face sour at the caller before turning it off and slipping it back into his pocket.
“I heard that you plan to take the rest of your classes online after the wedding,” she said this time. “Is that really going to be a good way to study in your field?”
Happy to finally be able to express a genuine emotion, you didn't fight the grimace this time. “I have similar doubts,” you answered dryly. “There really is no perfect choice here.”
“You could always keep a longer engagement period and keep studying on the site,” Kuchel offered as if the thought had never occurred to either of you. “It would be a waste to ruin your education just because you’re impatient.”
It made you think again, taken by the same worry, irritated that you couldn’t say that you weren’t the impatient one. It annoyed you that she brought up things that had plagued you for months, when you had already made your decision and put them aside. No matter how little you wanted to move away when you could thrive on campus, there was a strong feeling in you that if you rejected the persistent offer now, it would not be here one and half years ahead. In the end, you decided that it was not something you wanted to take your chances with just because you wanted your university life to be ideal.
That would just be stupid.
“We didn’t want to be apart for that long, mom,” Gerard argued again, sounding on edge. “She has more than a year left. I don’t want her to live in that dorm room for that long.” You wanted to correct him again that it was him who lived in a dorm room and you loved your little apartment.
“A dorm room you also lived in for longer,” Kuchel pointed out.
“We just want to be married as soon as possible,” he said.
“As soon as possible,” Kuchel repeated. Light, piercing eyes of the woman stared directly at her son now as if trying to read everything he was not being forthcoming with. “You’re both too young to be so hasty.”
“We made up our mind.”
Kuchel hummed, eyes jumping between you two. It made you feel ridiculous just sitting there. “Have you discussed children?”
Not hiding his exasperation anymore Gerard sighed audibly and leaned back. “It’s a little too early for that, mom. Can we change the topic, please?”
“Not if you want to get married as soon as possible,” Kuchel glared. “Things like this should be discussed before it gets serious. Otherwise there can be a lot of problems down the line.”
“We’ll…discuss it. Later. Alone,” he finally spat out with a grimace.
Your nerves felt on fire, phasing out the entire speech. You had been grateful when he never brought up the issue and you sensed that he didn’t want any, but he wasn’t ready to have the talk. You weren’t particular to kids and you didn’t think you would ever change your mind, but putting a name on it felt too real, too serious. You just didn’t want to have that speech. Saying you likely wanted to remain child-free wasn’t going to look fantastic on your resume that already may have been delivered to your in-laws with bloodstains on. Nothing a mother in law would like more than the lack of prospective grandchildren to the heir of a great fortune.
Just great.
You hoped the displeasure didn’t radiate off of you like waves.
“I suppose it’s fine as long as you don’t try for one right away,” Kuchel abruptly said.
“Mom,” Gerard warned loudly this time. You wondered if this was the first time you heard him raise his voice. Kuchel continued as if she didn’t even hear him. “And as long as the traditional marital agreements of our family remain intact.”
Prenup at first meeting, really? You guessed that was the follow-up of needling you about how fast you were marrying at first glance. She wasn’t here to sugarcoat.
“We never discussed it before, but I’m sure we won’t have a problem,” you answered easily. Kuchel fixed her intense gaze on you this time but she did not say anything else. You felt like you were looking at somebody different.
The door opened after a polite knock and the friendly looking butler stepped inside with a service cart filled with tea and desserts.
“Hopefully I wasn’t too late,” he smiled, round big eyes scanning everyone’s faces in the room and you got the strangest feeling he was right on time.
“No, Erwin, thank you,” Kuchel smiled politely, eyes still carrying some of the coldness.
“I hope you will find them to your taste,” the butler smiled.
“Some things are to everyone’s taste,” Kuchel commented offhandedly and you wondered if you were still talking about the assortments. “Has Ken sent a word yet?”
“Not by himself, Madam,” the butler answered, gracefully placing the teacup on the little table in front of you. “But young master wanted me to let you know his uncle told him he was caught up with associates and was going to be late to the dinner.”
Young master? And who was Gerard supposed to be, then?
“Levi’s home already?”
“Yes, Madam. He will be joining you shortly.”
Kuchel seemed pleased with that information and the smile remained on her face after the butler took his leave with a polite bow. You felt more on edge at the mention of the other two Ackermans. If dealing with the mother was this unnerving, you had no illusions you had your work cut out for you with the uncle and the older brother. You didn’t have the best track record dealing with families, maybe that was one of the reasons why you felt so at home with Gerard initially, who never pressured you to meet them. You felt the gnawing need to escape from this place and bury yourself back into where you felt safe instead of the extensive wealth that would give you everything but peace of mind. You felt your fiancé’s clammy hand still in yours from when he grabbed it as the interrogation started.
He still was the same person.
And all those doubts were just runaway thoughts. You had no option to back down. You helped yourself to the tea and the desserts, posture straight and confident, your face carefully arranged to give away nothing as the only noise in the room became the pleasant chatter coming from the china and the metal. If your hands shook, only the surface of the tea as you brought the cup to your mouth could tell. Few minutes later, you felt readier, a little clearer. Tea always helped that. You didn’t need friends in this house. They didn’t have to like you. You did nothing wrong.
The footsteps came close to the music room and the door opened without a pause.