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Dazai x Pizza cutter

Summary:

Dazai gets a little horny while making pizza

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Dazai was broke asf so he had to get another job. The only place he could get a job was Dominos. Timeskip to a week later. It was a slow day at the shop, it was even slower to Dazai since he had been feeling a little freaky. Chuuya had to get something from the store and had to leave the store to Dazai. “Alright Dazai, I gotta go to the store so your in charge.” Chuuya said. “Yes Chibi~.” Dazai replied. Chuuya left the establishment. Dazai was incredibly relieved that Chuuya was out of his hair. After a few minutes the phone started to ring. “This is Dominos Pizza, how may I help you.” Dazai said. “Uhh can I get a large pepperoni pizza and 9 containers of ranch?” The person said. “That’ll be $18.27. It’ll be done in about 10 minutes.” Dazai said. “Thanks.” The person hangs up. Dazai proceeds to make the pizza. He gets to cutting the pizza. He picked up the pizza cutter and suddenly had an idea. He unbuckled his belt and slid down his pants. He covered the pizza cutter and his entrance in marinara sauce. He got on a counter and positioned himself. He gently pushed it inside, it cut up his hole but it felt good. “Mmmm~ ah~” Dazai moaned, his dick getting harder than it already was. “Yess~! Oh god YES~” Dazai screamed out in pain and pleasure, blood was all over the counter but Dazai didn’t care, he was in pure bliss. He continues to thrust the pizza cutter, with every thrust the blade went over his G-spot causing him to moan wildly. “Ah~! Fuck~! Ngh~!” Dazai screamed out as a hot load of cum shot out of his dick. He continued to thrust, the pleasure and pain was absolutely intoxicating.
The door swings open. It’s Chuuya. “Hey Dazai I’m back-“ Chuuya locks eyes with Dazai. “I leave you alone for FIVE MINUTES and you do THIS!” Chuuya screamed, Dazai was still thrusting the pizza cutter. “STOP DOING THAT!” Chuuya screamed, it did absolutely nothing. “Ngh~! Chuuya~!” Dazai moaned. Chuuya facepalmed and picked up Dazai. Dazai was still thrusting it inside, blood dripping on the floor. “Why would you ever do this!?” Chuuya said. Dazai looked at him, his face was red and drool was dripping as he moaned. Chuuya loaded Dazai into his car and started driving to the hospital. Dazai was still thrusting the pizza cutter and the vibration from the car only added to the pleasure. “Ahh~! Mph~!” Dazai moans as he climaxes on the car seats. “DID YOU JUST JIZZ ON MY 2016 HONDA CIVIC!?” Chuuya screams as drives. Dazai passes out. They get to the hospital and Chuuya goes over to the reception desk. “MY FRIEND SHOVED A PIZZA CUTTER UP HIS ARSE! ”Chuuya said. “I’m playing Demon Slayer RP, go away.” The lady said. “WHAT THE FUCK!” Chuuya screamed. 20 minutes after they actually got seen by a doctor. The doctor had a name tag with ‘Nah I’d win’ on it. “What happened?” The doctor said. “WDYM WHAT HAPPENED HE SHOVED A PIZZA CUTTER UP HIS ASS!” Chuuya screamed. The doctor starts doing pose 28. “That’s not very skibidi.” The doctor says. After some arguing an actual professional comes in and takes a look at him. “I’m sorry but he’s gone…” the qualified doctor said. “No… This can’t be…” Chuuya says tears in his eyes as he opens a wine bottle and starts chugging. “Sir plz stop its not skibidi Ohio sigma of you.” The unqualified doctor said. Chuuya didn’t listen he just kept chugging… the end.

Notes:

Forgive me father for I have sinned