Once Again, The Silver Fades

by aeden_moon

Summary:

Who would have thought Sizhui could cry this hard? Hyperventilating and vomiting on the ground? None. None at all. After all, what reason can make their Head Disciple do this? Wei Wuxian apparently.

Morning was supposed to be happy, not depressing, not painful, and absolutely not horrifying. This was not a good morning to him, to all of them. After all, what’s a good morning if he cannot see his Baba’s smile?

Notes:

a kinda time travel-fix it but it's another timeline or universe, will not be jiang family or lan clan friendly because i need sizhui to put them all in their place that's why this was made (BWAHAHAHAHA)

Chapter 1: To Cage A Free Man

Wei Wuxian looked at the moon, finding it ethereal once again, just like a certain Lan he knows. He tilted his head before he hissed, feeling his wrist ached again. 

 

Honestly, this doesn’t really feel good. Turning to self harm just so you could stay sane should not even be an option. But seriously, what can he do? Right, what could he even do?   

 

It’s really getting dangerous, thinking that maybe, he could finally move on with his life, finding out he can’t, because he loved them. He loves his A-Yuan, he loves his husband, he loves his little radishes. Everything he loves is still here. And yet, he felt caged. 

 

He cannot freely go to his son, he cannot simply disturb his husband, and he cannot just talk with his little ducklings. And whether he likes it or not, it’s really taking a toll on him.

 

It started with a simple, “You cannot talk with Wei Wuxian.”

 

To, “If you want to see Sizhui, you need my permission. If you want to see Wangji, you need to see me first. If you want to be with the students, you need supervision.” 

 

Again. Again. Again.  

 

He felt ashamed. He felt restricted. He felt controlled. He felt… tired.  

 

He was just glad his husband couldn't see just how destructive his mind became. Because this would’ve been heartbreaking for his beloved. 

 

And it’s breaking me too.  

 

Still, he really wanted to stay. Even if it felt restricting, he wanted to feel belonged. Because, this was his fourth home. And this will be the last. So he was hoping, hoping that he could stay in this home for a long time. 

 

Alas, the world probably loves playing him. Because what’s a home that is designed as nothing but a cage? 

 

He sighed, slowly lying his head on his arms and closing his eyes. It’s really dangerous how he feels so lonely. How he feels so cornered again. 

 

As if the world is once again, his enemy. 

 

So he did what he has been doing since then. Cry. Because maybe, he would feel fine tomorrow, when his husband could be here, his son eating breakfast with him, and his little radishes asking questions to him. 

 

—

 

He smiled at his husband teasingly. “Aiya Lan Zhan, you really love holding me, don’t you?” 

 

“Mn.” His only reply while still hugging him tightly. Wei Wuxian just chuckled and felt his husband’s arms around him. 

 

It's morning and they’re together again. Yes, this is indeed one of the reasons why despite feeling caged, he could not really leave. His husband, after all, is here. 

 

“You still have work to do, Lan Zhan. Finish it so we can do our everyday activities really everyday!” he teased. Lan Zhan just snorted while still hugging him. 

 

“We can do it today if that is what Wei Ying wants.” 

 

Wei Ying giggled and got out of his husband’s arms. He could see that Lan Zhan is really tired and even though his husband does have a monstrous stamina, he would like it more if his husband could rest with him in their home. 

 

“How about we cuddle dear husband? We will just lay together and feel each other’s warmth. Romantic, right?” he tugged Lan Zhan’s arms, making him lay beside him. 

 

“Ah, you’re so warm Lan Zhan. Very warm. I love you so much.”

 

Lan Zhan let out a little gasp as if breathless before answering back. “Love Wei Ying too. So much.” 

 

Another slap, of why he can’t just leave. ‘Cause yeah, his husband loves him, that’s enough reason why even though it’s painful, he can’t leave. 

 

—

 

“A-Yuan! You’re really so good!” 

 

Sizhui beamed, like a sun, looking at him with shining eyes. “You think so, Wei-qianbei?” 

 

Wei Wuxian nodded. Feeling proud at his son finishing his own song with his guqin. Ah, he’s so ethereal, just like his father. 

 

“Of course Sizhui, would Wei-qianbei ever lie to you?” Jingyi teasingly said while laying on the floor. 

 

“Right, it was so amazing!” Zizhen looked at Sizhui with twinkling eyes as well which made Wei Ying smile. 

 

“You just want to hear dajiu praise you, right?” Jin Ling on the other hand, deadpanned. Wei Wuxian just chuckled while looking at them. 

 

Yet another reason why, even though his wrists felt like they were on fire because of all the slits, he still can’t leave. 

 

Because just how could he leave these amazing people who always made him feel that he deserves to be loved? 

 

Or maybe it was what he wanted to think. 

 

—

 

Wei Wuxian bit his lips, feeling it tremble while doing his best to stop his tears. He really should not cry. It’s morning and his husband will know once they met for lunch, a time that his husband would be available. Still, he couldn't help but sob as he saw his works shredded to pieces. 

 

He held it close to his chest and cried silently. 

 

The most heartbreaking probably, was the painting of his son and husband he worked so hard to finish because he wanted to give it as a gift to his son. Right now, in his hand, shredded to pieces. 

 

He felt so vulnerable. Felt so destructive, he felt like drowning. 

 

He stood up and ran to the Jingshi. Maybe he would feel safe there, he would wait for his husband, and maybe he would feel good. 

 

He doesn’t. A letter was on the Jingshi with his own lunch, a letter saying that Wangji needed to finish his work and would probably be free by tomorrow. So he cannot disturb his Lan Zhan, he must not. 

 

He sagged on the floor, hugging the letter and cried. He cried feeling lost. He cried feeling lonely. He cried feeling caged. He cried, feeling like dying. 

 

He cried because he felt like dying. He cried because he felt like death was the only mercy he could be given. He cried because it felt unfair, because he had to die again just so he could be free, again. Again. 

 

And so, he did what he felt was the right thing to do. Holding Suibian in his hand, he raised it to his neck, and with one slice, and a little smile. The silver faded into the darkness.

Chapter 2: Nightmare, Maybe

Notes:

watch out for the implied/referenced suicide

Xichen couldn't help but smile when he finally saw the sun. He finally left seclusion, so his little brother is finishing up things so he could be free of duty for now, and recuperate well. 

 

He looked up and closed his eyes, feeling the presence of a sunny morning around him. Something that he did not feel while he was in seclusion. 

 

So while he walked the way to Jingshi, to visit someone who had been talking to him in his seclusion, he enjoyed the air, the trees, and the whole scenery. 

 

He really is full of smiles today, and he bet that the person who he will visit today will also smile at him, and smile for him. After all, this is what he has been wishing for since then. 

 

“Zewu-jun, it’s okay if you feel unfair. I just hope you won't forget that there are still people who are waiting for you. Lan Zhan is still waiting for his Xiongzhang, A-Yuan is also waiting for his Bofu. And I’m sure, Lan-Xiansheng is also waiting for you.” 

 

Wei Wuxian carefully traced his knuckles, sending a little spiritual energy so he could heal his wounds. 

 

Xichen did not protest and only looked at him. His little brother’s husband has been visiting him since his seclusion. According to him, it is much better if at least once a month, someone will update him with what’s happening, so he could easily integrate in the society when he chose to get out again. 

 

And he really can’t say no, the last time he did after all, he was utterly ignored. 

 

Maybe, he also really likes his company. 

 

Yet, there were those destructive thoughts. He was the man they unfairly killed after all. The man they judged so harsh he had to leave the world. The man the whole cultivation world pinned to the ground, just so they could rise to the top. 

 

So time and time again, how can he take care of Lan Xichen who called him his beloved’s biggest mistake? 

 

Still, Wei Wuxian is kind. A person with a heart so big, he would give it without any hesitation. 

 

Just like what he is doing with Xichen right now. Wei Wuxian smiled gently at him. 

 

“I know what you’re thinking, Zewu-jun. And I assure you that it is fine. We all make mistakes, some that cost a lot. Still, we are here and we have a lot of time in this world. So the least we could do is learn from those mistakes and make it right.”

 

“Ge…” 

 

Wei Wuxian blinked at him. “Hmm?” still he asked gently, a bit confused. 

 

Xichen cleared his throat. “Call me Xichen-ge.” 

 

And he was met with another sunny smile.  

 

That’s why he can’t help but be shaken when he is met with his nephew, vomiting on the ground, weeping, and absolutely breaking down. 

 

He immediately ran to his nephew and looked at Jingyi who’s also slumped to the ground, crying hard. 

 

He looked around, seeing the disciples looking horrified, as if they saw something very horrifying. 

 

“What happened?” Xichen asked, feeling his voice tremble at the panic. His nephew is sobbing violently in his hold, and he can’t help but feel fear. 

 

Fear for the reason why Lan Sizhui is crying like this. 

 

“Z-Zewu-jun…” a disciple said while silently trembling as well. 

 

“What?” 

 

“I-It’s Wei Wuxian. I-Inside the… the Jingshi. He—He… he…” 

 

Feeling the fear in his heart, he carefully put Sizhui on the ground with Jingyi before bolting inside the Jingshi. 

 

And his heart probably just shattered from what he saw. Lying there, tightly holding his sword, was Wei Wuxian. 

 

On a pool of blood, gushing out from his neck. 

 

Wei Wuxian, tried to kill himself. No, he killed himself.  

 

He screamed and ran outside. “Call Shufu and the healers! Quick!” 

 

He ran back to Wei Wuxian’s side and carefully held his wrist, finding that there was still a heartbeat. Even if it's slow, his heart is still beating. So he sent little waves of spiritual energy, so he could hold onto those little heartbeats, praying Wei Wuxian would live. 

 

“I’ll finally make it right, Wei Wuxian, so you better live. Please… live.” 

 

—

 

“Lan-Xiansheng! Lan-Xiansheng!” 

 

Lan Zhan looked at the door being banged hard and looked at his uncle who looked at the door with dismay. 

 

He stood up and opened the door, tilting his head a little slightly when he saw how panicked the disciple looked. 

 

“H-Hanguang-jun… quick… in the Jingshi.” 

 

He immediately ran when he heard his home. Jingshi, Wei Ying. 

 

“What happened?” He heard his uncle roar before he felt his shufu running with him as well. 

 

Still, his heart was beating so fast. He felt nervous. No, he felt scared. Wei Ying. His Wei Ying is at the Jingshi. What happened, what could happen? 

 

He stopped a little seeing the commotion that was happening outside his house, but immediately ran when he saw his son passed out and being carried by a disciple. 

 

“What happened here? Is it Wei Wuxian again?” his uncle said, sounding worried at the same time irritated. 

 

He held his son’s head and carefully lifted it, feeling another wave of fear when he saw just how heartbreaking his son’s face was. Tears and snot were covering his face, and he smelled like puke as well. Which means, Sizhui was crying. 

 

“H-Hanguang-jun… please go to the Jingshi… please,” the disciple carrying his son pleaded. “W-Wei-qianbei…” 

 

And that did it. He ran, again. He ran to the Jingshi, opening the doors and felt his heart stop when he saw his older brother holding Wei Ying’s wrist. 

 

“X-Xiongzhang…”

 

His older brother looked at him, crying. “Wangji…Wei Wuxian…”

 

He felt breathless when he took a look at his husband. Lying down on the floor with blood. He stared at Suibian being clenched tight with its owner. He saw his beloved’s neck gushing out blood, and his beloved’s pale face. His love… his love dying on the floor. 

 

He felt like time stopped, the only thing he remembered was his Shufu’s shout before he blacked out.

Notes:

are u feeling the incoming storm now?

Chapter 3: Anger of A Son

Notes:

here it goes, again, not lan qiren friendly because i need to slap him but since i can't, i'll write sizhui doing it instead

Lan Sizhui can’t help but smile and look forward to meeting his Baba again. Since he is the Head Disciple, it is normal that he is sent with the other juniors in night-hunting, so sometimes it will be days or weeks before he meets his Baba again. 

 

Still, his Baba would always welcome him with open arms. With a smile, and with love. That’s why Sizhui always looks forward to coming home, knowing he will come home to his loving fathers. 

 

“Sizhui, will you show that to Wei-qianbei?”

 

He looked at Jingyi before turning his eyes to his own guqin, feeling excited at the same time nervous. “Yes, since it is my first song, I would like to hear what he would say.” 

 

Wei Wuxian is kind, his Baba will always be kind, as such, even though he felt nervous, he felt excited as well. He knows that his Baba will be full of praise for him no matter what. 

 

“Then let’s go already!” 

 

And they did. While walking towards the Jingshi, Sizhui can’t help but hear some juniors talking. 

 

“Ha, he still killed. In the end, he deserves what’s coming for him.” 

 

“So what if he is said to be good anyway? He’s still a sinner, and he will always bring that word with him, no matter what.” 

 

Some of the juniors were snickering. “That’s why it is funny whenever the Elders are slapping it to his face, he can’t do anything after all. Because if he did, of course he would endanger Hanguang-Jun’s image, and I bet he would rather kill himself than do that.” 

 

Jingyi is about to storm off but Sizhui holds his arm. Instead, he walked towards where the juniors are, looking up to him while also trying to look away from him. From his glare. 

 

“Gossiping is forbidden, did you not know?” 

 

The juniors quickly said sorry but Sizhui did not let his eyes stray off from them. Still glaring, “Esteemed Lans but doesn’t even respect their own rules, big words coming from all of you. Should you not be ashamed of such conduct?” 

 

The juniors just bowed their heads low, feeling scared of their Head Disciple’s glare. Sizhui waved at them and they quickly took their leave. 

 

“Seriously, I thought once the truth comes out, they will at least be ashamed of what they’ve done with Wei-qianbei. What’s with our clan, Sizhui?” Jingyi rambled while shaking his head. 

 

Lan Sizhui did not say anything. He knows how dangerous the storm that is brewing inside of him, still he held tight because his Baba is fine, so he will be too. 

 

So when he came to the Jingshi, he smiled at his Baba who looked up from his seat beside Jin Ling and Ouyang Zizhen. 

 

“A-Yuan! Such filial piety visiting his Baba time and time again. So what is in for today, my sweet radish?” his Baba exclaimed with a big smile. 

 

And so, Sizhui gave him his big smile as well. 

 

“I just finished a song, Wei-qianbei, would you like to hear it?” 

 

Zizhen and Jin Ling perked up from that and immediately made way for him in the middle. His Baba smiled and nodded excitedly so he took out his guqin and started to play. 

 

Once he’s done, his friends and Baba are all clapping. 

 

“A-Yuan, you’re really so good!” 

 

He smiled at him, feeling excited and happy. “You think so, Wei-qianbei?” 

 

His father nodded and he smiled again. While his friends teased him, he couldn't help but smile and laugh because this was such a memorable day. He will surely treasure this memory for his entire lifetime. 

 

—

So when did it go wrong? When days ago, Sizhui was so happy with his Baba? 

 

It all started with him feeling dreadful because he had nightmares because of some memories resurfacing, so he had wanted to be pampered by his father, because his father will always take care of him, no matter what. 

 

So he went to the Jingshi after breakfast, wanting to be consoled by his father. He knocks on the door, knowing that his father is still probably asleep. So he called. 

 

“Wei-qianbei?” 

 

He leaned closer to the door and felt himself stiffen when he felt no presence. Because that’s impossible, unless Baba left? 

 

In panic that his father left without saying anything, he opened the door forcefully. 

 

“Baba, are you he—”

 

Wei Wuxian, his Xian-gege, his Baba, is there. Of course he did not leave his radish, he will never leave his radish. Yeah, this is just another nightmare indeed. 

 

Because why is his Baba lying on the floor with a cut to his neck? Why is his Baba lying with his blood pooling the entire pavement of Jingshi, their home? 

 

Next thing he knew, he was screaming and running outside, feeling himself going insane. No, this must be a nightmare, nightmare! Just another nightmare! No! No! No! 

 

“Sizhui!? Why are you screaming?” 

 

But he paid no attention, he felt bile going up to his throat and so he spit it out, and cried. He scratched his own arms, wishing he would wake up now because this is probably his worst nightmare and he can’t accept it. 

 

Who would have thought Sizhui could cry this hard? Hyperventilating and vomiting on the ground? None. None at all. After all, what reason can make their Head Disciple do this? Wei Wuxian apparently. 

 

Morning was supposed to be happy, not depressing, not painful, and absolutely not horrifying. This was not a good morning to him, to all of them. After all, what’s a good morning if he cannot see his Baba’s smile? 

 

He felt someone holding him before everything went dark. 

 

—

The next time he woke up, he touched his head, feeling it ache. He slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the lights. He looked at his right when he felt a hand hold his own and saw his A-Die looking at him solemnly. 

 

He was about to ask what was wrong when it hit him. His Baba! 

 

He whipped his head to his father. “A-Die! Baba! Where is Baba?! What happened to him?!” 

 

He breathed deeply, feeling panic again. His father held hands. “A-Yuan, calm down. Look at me.” 

 

He looked at his father, feeling scared. “It is alright, Wei Ying will be alright, he’s behind me, on another bed, being treated as well.” 

 

He looked behind his father and saw his Baba lying on the bed, peacefully asleep. He stood up and immediately ran to his Baba’s side, his father running after him. He laid his head onto his Baba’s chest, and sob when he heard a heartbeat. 

 

“Baba…” he sobbed. Forgetting all the rules and only crying his heart out. 

 

He felt his A-Die hold his hand while he cried at his Baba’s chest. 

 

That’s the scene Lan Xichen, Lan Qiren, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen and Jin Ling saw when they entered. 

 

Jingyi, Jin Ling and Zizhen can’t help but silently cry as they see how hard Sizhui is crying, and how Hanguang-Jun is silently crying as well, holding his husband and son’s hands. 

 

Lan Xichen bit his lips, feeling heartbroken again as he saw his little brother and his nephew’s heartbreaking faces. Knowing that they probably had the worst scare in their whole life. 

 

“Wangji, Sizhui.” 

 

Lan Wangji looked at his uncle, while Sizhui was still laying his head on his father’s chest. Still feeling scared that his Baba will leave him. 

 

“Wangji, the Elders decided that we continue the classes tomorrow. Since the inconvenience is already settled, we can continue what we need to d—”

 

“Inconvenience?” 

 

Lan Qiren cannot help but flinch when hearing Sizhui roar that word out. He asked it with such venom that it felt like being on the edge of a cliff. 

 

“Sizh—”

 

Sizhui looked up from his father’s chest and looked straight at his Teacher. 

 

“Inconvenience? Was my father’s life an inconvenience?” 

 

“That’s not —”

 

“Shut up! You! You all should be ashamed! My father almost lost his life, because of you, and all you can think of is how this was a mere inconvenience?” 

 

“Sizhui! It’s unreasonable to blame us for what he did!” 

 

Sizhui glared at him. “If it’s unreasonable to blame you, then what you have been doing to my father is unreasonable as well! But you did not reprimand yourself for that because the rule will only cater to what is ‘your’ right, right?” 

 

“Sizhui!” 

 

“Shut up! I am so done with all of you hypocrites! What do you think is the reason why my Baba… why my Baba had to raise his beloved Suibian to his throat, huh? Because he will never leave me, he will never leave A-Die. Because my Baba loves us, and he knows it will hurt us both. But because of your… of your goddamn rules, my Baba must have felt so lonely he had no choice but to leave, again!” 

 

Lan Zhan just blinked his tears away, still holding his husband and son’s hands, letting Sizhui with his outburst. 

 

“He left us before already! And it’s all because of you! Must you take him away from us again?” 

 

Xichen bit his lips, letting his tears fall. 

 

“Your rules are unreasonable and yet, my father did nothing but accept it. No talking to Wei Wuxian! Did you think that was an acceptable rule? Wei Wuxian is Lan Wangji’s husband! If you all are so righteous then why are you not treating him the respect that he deserves in this clan? You did not even let me call him Baba even though he is my father!

 

Time and time again! My father kept being slandered and yet, did he do something? No, he didn’t! Because he wants peace. Damn it! He just wants to be at peace! Aren’t you ashamed? Aren’t you ashamed of the fact that you all killed him once already, and now you’re trying to kill him again! 

 

So tell me, tell me Lan Qiren, is that righteous? Do you want me to remind you of what you all did when you let the Dafan Wen full of elderly and children all die because you were trying to be the righteous sect you all thought you are? Do you think it was mercy when Hanguang-Jun brought the only survivor of Wen here in your clan? Do you think yourself righteous when you killed the only person who protected the civilians, something that all cultivators swore to do? You all are blinded by the rules, you forgot what righteousness should look like! 

 

Tell me, oh esteemed Lans! What is being righteous, and what is justice? Because you all are not righteous and you did not bring any justice. You are nothing but hypocrites!” 

 

Sizhui breathed deeply, feeling his anger still roaring at him. Lan Qiren is looking at him with wide eyes, while his uncle is only crying silently. 

 

“If this is what righteousness is, pushing someone into their death, then I don’t want to be righteous at all.” 

 

And with that, he took his forehead ribbon off and tossed it to the ground.

 

“I secede from this sect. See to it that we will leave from this so-called righteous sect you all wish you are.”

Notes:

so, what do you think?

Chapter 4: Something Unexpected

Notes:

this is just the start, of course

Before they could even react to what Sizhui did, there was a bright light beaming at them causing them to close their eyes. When they deemed it fine, Lan Zhan opened his eyes and held his son’s hands, feeling fear of something unexpected happening. 

 

“Wangji?” He looked at his older brother, and saw that all six of them except his uncle are here. He checked his whole surroundings, confused as to why they were in a room. 

 

The room is lavish, black and red but is expensive looking. Another thing to take note, is that his husband isn’t here. 

 

“Wei Ying…” 

 

“A-Die,” he turned his head to his son who looked at him in fear. 

 

He hugged Sizhui before looking at his older brother who’s looking at them solemnly. 

 

“W-where are we?” 

 

“I don’t know.” 

 

“I’m not asking you!” 

 

“Guys, don’t be noisy! I’m trying to check the room, that’s what Wei-qianbei said if we are ever to be kidnapped!” 

 

“Zizhen!” 

 

Suddenly, a lake appeared in front of them. The juniors panicked before walking away from it lest they fall to something unknown. 

 

Lan Zhan stared at it, watching it form a picture of all of them, collapsed in the healing wards with Wei Ying, the thing that caught his eyes was the barrier of red protecting all of them. 

 

“This…” 

 

Xichen looked at his little brother who nodded to him. 

 

“What could this be?” 

 

“Is this some kind of a curse, is there a curse like this?” 

 

Lan Zhan and Lan Sizhui fixed themselves and started to look around the room. The room is wide, but without any furniture that’s why they found it strange. 

 

Later on, there was another light beaming wherein one person appeared. Jiang Wanyin. 

 

“What the fuck?” 

 

“Jiujiu?!”

 

Jiang Wanyin looked at the voice, shocked to see his nephew with the Lans. 

 

“What the hell? Where are we? Why are you here?” 

 

“We also don’t know! We were just transported here without any warnings just like you!” 

 

They started to look around again, he also tried to poke at some of the walls but there was nothing. He also took notice of the fact that Bichen isn’t with him. In fact, all of their weapons aren’t with them. 

 

“Zidian is gone… just what is this place?” 

 

“Look, the lake is changing again! It’s you Jiujiu!” Indeed it is Jiang Wanyin, who collapsed on his desk with a red barrier as well. 

 

“This…” 

 

Then suddenly there was a shriek, he immediately looked toward the sound and saw his son being captured by a light. However, Wangji, once again, was late. 

 

“Sizhui!” 

 

When the light was gone, it was only the wall. No, they cannot take away Sizhui! 

 

He was about to punch the wall when a door suddenly appeared, and there Sizhui came out. 

 

“A-Die!” 

 

He immediately hugged his son and calmed himself. It was alright, his son is alright. 

 

Sizhui got out of his embrace. “A-Die, I think this is something divine. Something like a God’s doing.” 

 

Xichen looked at him, looking seriously. “You mean to say, a God was the one who brought us here?” 

 

Sizhui nodded. “Yes, when I was taken, I heard a voice said I should be returned here immediately and someone answered with, ‘Understood, my Lord’ and it sounded very distorted but I can make every word out. Also, they put this on my wrist.” 

 

He showed his wrist where a tattoo of a red spider lily was etched. With skulls under its stem, it looks magnificent, but also creepy. 

 

“Is that a curse?” Zizhen asked with concern. 

 

Sizhui tilted his head, feeling himself. “I don’t think so, I actually feel so powerful, like my golden core is enhanced.” 

 

And so Wangji held his wrist and checked, nodding when his son’s golden core indeed became even more powerful. Xichen also did the same and with astonishment, nodded as well. 

 

“It indeed became more powerful, like a 20 year addition of power.” 

 

“Anyway, we have been searching since earlier but there’s really nothing here, maybe let us wait instead of tiring ourselves.” 

 

But before they could sit in the middle of the room, there was another beam of light. A lot of people they know appeared. Of course, they know them. Very well actually. 

 

“What the hell…” Jiang Wanyin uttered in shock, seeing himself with the new people who suddenly appeared. It wasn’t just that, his A-Die, A-Niang, and his A-Jie are here as well. Looking young, but still here. 

 

Lan Xichen couldn't help but gape as he looked at the three people he knew very much. His uncle, his little brother, and himself. They look younger but it is still them. 

 

Jin Ling tilted his head as he looked in awe when he saw his mother and father among the people. Jin Zixuan, his father is there beside a man who looks like a Jin as well, maybe his grandfather that he doesn't want to know at all. 

 

Lan Zhan inclined his head as he took in all the people who appeared. He saw Wen Ning and Wen Qing among the people, with Wen Ruohan. Nie Huaisang is also there, looking scared and holding onto his Da-ge, Nie Mingjue. 

 

And last that he looked at, was his beloved, in his teens. Wei Ying. 

 

“What is this?” Wei Ying asked while looking around the room, taking notice of the fact that they aren’t the only people here. 

 

Sizhui looked at them with shock but also with awe, he can see both his father in their teens. As such, he feels like there is something big that will happen. After all, where in the world could you ever meet your younger versions? 

 

“Wangji?” The younger Lan Xichen asked while looking at his little brother on the other side who looked older compared to the one beside him. The older Wangji looked at him and bowed. 

 

“What is with this, why am I seeing two Lan Xichen and two Lan Wangji?” Lan Qiren asked in shock as he look back and forth to the younger Twin Jades and the older Twin Jades. 

 

“Hmm, what could this be indeed?” 

 

Wei Ying tried to walk over the other side, however, there was an invisible barrier preventing them to. 

 

Wei Ying tilted his head in confusion, this feels strange and powerful. It felt like no matter what talisman he used, the barrier would not come down. 

 

“Oh, so there is a division.” Wen Ruohan said as he saw what the young Jiang Head Disciple did. 

 

“This is strange, are you the one who brought us here?” Jiang Fengmian asked as he looked at the older version of his son. 

 

Jiang Cheng shook his head. “No, we were also transported here the same way as you all.” 

 

“Wow, Jiang Cheng, you look old but still good, and you feel powerful as well!” Wei Ying exclaimed as he stared at the older Jiang Cheng. The younger one nudged him with flushed cheeks. 

 

“Shut up! We don’t even know them!” 

 

Xichen took note of that. “Then let us introduce ourselves, perhaps we will find out something about why we are here. Lan Huan, courtesy name Xichen. I am the Sect Leader of the Gusu Lan Clan.” 

 

The younger Xichen gaped at shock, hearing that he is now a Sect Leader. Not only that, even though they are older, they still look young. Then maybe, his father left them early after all. 

 

Nie Mingjue looked at the young Lan Xichen beside them and turned his head to the older version, nodding and feeling proud for his friend. After all, the older version looked very calm and powerful. 

 

“Jiang Cheng, courtesy name Wanyin. Sect Leader of Yunmeng Jiang Clan.”

 

The whole Jiang Family looked at the young Jiang Cheng on their side, looking at the older version in shock. He was the sect leader? 

 

The Juniors came next, which to everyone is someone they don’t know. 

 

“I am Lan Jingyi! A disciple of the Gusu Lan Clan.” 

 

Lan Qiren looked at the two of them, already feeling that they are indeed their disciple especially with their outfit. The strange thing is that the other person who is also wearing white doesn’t have any headband on his forehead. 

 

“I am Jin Ling, courtesy name Rulan. The current Sect Leader of the Jinlin Tai.” 

 

“What?!” Jin Guangshan exclaimed in shock. Jin Zixuan stared at the teen who looked so young but was already the Sect Leader of the whole Jinlin Tai. 

 

“Indeed. He is my nephew, Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan’s son.” 

 

Another shocking thing. Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli both looked at each other in shock and looked at their… their son apparently. 

 

“M-my son?” 

 

Jiang Cheng nodded while looking at his sister happily. 

 

“W-what do you m-mean?” Jin Zixuan asked. 

 

“Isn’t it obvious, we’re from the future.” Jin Ling grumbled as he looked at all of the people on the other side. 

 

“Then who are those two?” Nie Huaisang asked, pointing at Sizhui and Zizhen. 

 

Zizhen stepped out. “I am Ouyang Zizhen, I am the heir of Ouyang Sect.” 

 

Jiang Fengmian inclined his head, finally taking note of the familiar features of the said teen. 

 

Another one also stepped out, someone who looked like a Lan but without any forehead ribbon. “Lan Yuan, courtesy name Lan Sizhui. Son of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.” 

 

“Ha?!” Wei Wuxian asked in shock as he looked at the young man smiling towards him. The young man actually looks close to tears so he feels both shock and nervous. 

 

Lan Wangji also looked at his older version who patted the shoulder of the young man who introduced himself as his and Wei Ying’s son. He felt his head short circuiting, Wei Ying and him, their son? They have a son? They are together? 

 

“Nice to meet you, Baba.” 

 

Wei Ying looked close to passing out in shock. The man called him Baba! 

 

“What the hell, I have a son? With Lan Zhan?” 

 

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen both looked in shock as they looked at the young Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji on their side. 

 

“Y-you…” Jiang Cheng said while looking at Wei Ying. The whole Jiang Family looked at their Head Disciple in shock. The Lans are also looking at Wangji the same way. 

 

With that, Lan Zhan also stepped out. “Lan Zhan, courtesy name Wangji. I am the current Chief Cultivator. Husband of Wei Wuxian and the Father of Lan Sizhui.” 

 

“C-Chief Cultivator?” 

 

“H-Husband? Husband of who?!”

 

Wen Ruohan looked at the man up and down, shock to hear that someone young is actually a Chief Cultivator. 

 

The young Lan Wangji also gaped in shock at his older version's words. He was the Chief Cultivator! And he is indeed married to Wei Ying! They have a son together! He looked at Wei Ying who was still staring at the other side in shock. 

 

Wei Ying must have felt his stare because he looked at him. He felt his ears reddened when he saw how flushed Wei Ying’s cheeks were. 

 

“What the hell, you two are married?” Jiang Cheng sputtered. 

 

“I-if you two are married, Lan-Xiong, where is the older Wei Wuxian then?” Nie Huaisang asked. They were given quite a lot of shock today but there is someone he cannot see on the other side. Wei Wuxian, where is he? 

 

The people in the future looked down, while Sizhui looked close to tears again. 

 

“My… my Baba is…” 

 

Before that could be answered, a huge door appeared in front of them. The door is black with gold on its side. It opened and there walked a person with robes changing its design as he walked towards them. 

 

His robes were black with red spider lilies on both the hem of his arms. There were also mountains and red spider lilies on the end of his flowing robes, touching the floor. His inner robe was red, gray and black respectively. A three piece robe, tightened by a black belt with an emblem of moon with skulls and red spider lilies in the middle. He was on a half bun style with an elegant crown of guan holding it, the guan is unique in a way that it is made of red spider lilies tied together, with a red ribbon cascading his hair. 

 

One thing they took notice of is that there is a crow that is flying with his owner and that the man is holding a black dizi with a red tassel. As they watched, there appeared a crescent moon behind his head, making it look like his crown. 

 

He looked at them in silence, his silver eyes checking all of them. 

 

“W-who are you?” Nie Huaisang asked in awe. 

 

The man looked around. “I see that you all have introduced yourselves already. As for who I am, I think some of you already know.” 

 

He looked at the older Lan Wangji who was looking at him in shock. “W-Wei Ying?” 

 

The man inclined his head before giving a little smirk, which put everyone in awe at how godly and ethereal this person looked. 

 

Sizhui looked at his A-Die before looking back on the man. “Baba?” 

 

Wei Ying, once again, is shocked. Him? Is that him? 

 

The man walked forward, changing the whole place. It became night, and felt like they were outside the room with how there were grasses on the pavement. The moon was also shining bright, but not as bright as the crescent that is floating behind the man's head. A red spider lily was also blooming everytime the man took his step forward. Once the man was in front of them, he bowed elegantly, his whole aura powerful and intimidating. And with a smirk, he introduced himself. 

 

“I am Wei Ying, courtesy name Wuxian. I am the Father of the Dead.” 

Notes:

so you see, i intend to do something very very badass because who doesn't want wei ying being a bamf???

On a serious note, this a type of Time Travel Fix-it in another world or in another timeline, so basically, we have a young Wei Ying, a Wei Ying on Mo Xuanyu's body, and the now revealed God Wei Ying. There will be more of course because this is like characters watching their own past/future with side commentaries. We will also ponder on why that happened because every character here have their own roles.

lans and jiang being my punching bag ofc (jk)

anyway, thank you so much for reading this, this will be the start of longer chapters coming ahead so the update will be unstable but i'm impatient so who knows? hahaha, look forward for more!

Chapter 5: The God of the Dead

Summary:

Trigger Warning: Self-harm, Suicide, Disturbing Thoughts.

Notes:

So long everyone, but here it is! Our finals are done so expect a lot of updates incoming (i hope i stay motivated tho) and once again, this is a fanfiction I WANT TO WRITE so it means IT WILL WORK OUT THE WAY I WANT (namely, so much bashing mwehehehe.) Thank you~

 

Revelation after revelation, shock after shock. Everyone was left speechless, looking back and forth to the God who introduced himself as Wei Ying and the Wei Ying that is beside them. 

Wei Ying can't help but just stare, feeling his head ache from all the shock that he just got. Apparently there is supposed to be another Wei Ying here who is the spouse of the older Lan Zhan. But then, there is also a Wei Ying who is so grand and extravagant he can’t even see himself! But now that he’s looking at the man, it really felt like him, just older. And well, powerful . 

So another shock is when the man appeared in front of him, tilting his chin to the man, making him look directly into his eyes. 

“Hmm, you’re not supposed to be here but alas, maybe this is your fate,” said the man before letting his chin go and chuckling to himself. 

“Though, this will be interesting.” 

Everyone is still not saying anything and honestly, Wei Ying doesn’t even know what to say. How will he even address this… man? The man is him for heaven’s sake! But also, he felt really different, very powerful. Which is probably obvious because he literally introduced himself as the Father of the Dead. 

“Oh? Why are you all silent? Does this one felt intimidating to you all you had your mouth suddenly shut? Or is my introduction not enough, you probably felt more confused? Or maybe… is it my presence?” 

Suddenly, there was a heavy feeling. Like death choking all of them. 

“Are you afraid of me?” 

There was no answer, but everyone in the room felt themselves trembling, even Wen Ruohan was not an exception. The man merely chuckled before the heavy feeling disappeared. 

“Anyway, this will be quite long so I will tell you the background that you need to know. Let me start with…” 

The whole place changed again. It was sunny, the scene was peaceful and calm. There is also a bridge in front of them, and a river under it. There were also different kinds of flowers blooming but the most striking one is of course, the red spider lilies. 

There were chairs in front of them and so they took a seat. Wei Ying bit his lips when he saw that he was seated beside Lan Zhan. Ah! This is my future husband! How the hell did he even like me? 

Wei Ying shook his head and looked at the God instead who changed robes again. Wow, did being a God made me a fashion addict at some point? 

The God had black outer robe with red and white inner robes. The design is still the same, the only difference is that there was a gold linings and the embroidery is much more defined. Aside from that, the Crescent Moon behind his head slowly vanished and became a tattoo on the middle of his forehead instead. The red lilies on his hair also grew bigger, which made a crown on his head. It looked more formal, and more regal. 

The God walked before snapping his finger, and a desk suddenly appeared. The God walked towards it before sitting down at the desk and grabbing a file of paper. 

“So you see, there are actually different worlds in our universe. In another world, there is a Wei Ying who is an Engineer. Another one who is a Sect Leader. One who is a spouse of the Chief Cultivator. One who is an Emperor. One who is a Lawyer. One who is an Immortal, and so on and so forth. That being said, you are currently in my realm, my domain. You are both from different worlds. However…” 

The man tsked before putting the file down and tapped his dizi on his hand. 

“You see, there is no same world, at some point, there will probably be instances that will be the same but it’s either different people doing it, or the consequences are different. This, in particular, is something that is not supposed to happen, and so I am here so that I can fix this issue.” 

The God looked at the left side where the older versions are seated. “Mo Xuanyu, and no, I’m not talking about your Mo Xuanyu, but the original Mo Xuanyu. He was supposed to cross the bridge already and be reincarnated but instead got paused because his wish was broken, and so, his soul trembled and is having a hard time crossing the reincarnation cycle. And it is all because of what happened in your world.” 

He heard everyone on the other side take a heavy breath. Wei Ying even saw Sizhui biting his lips and tears flooding his eyes. 

“Yes, indeed. It was something that is not supposed to happen. Wei Ying, in your world. Died… again .” 

They all flinched when the word ‘again’ was spoken with a very deep and venomous voice. As if he’s daring the other side to disagree with what he said. 

Sizhui immediately stood up. “What do you mean died? He was still alive before we were transported here!” He looked panicked and was clenching his robes. 

The God looked at him and inclined his head. “That is because Mo Xuanyu held his soul. Because like what I told you, he is not supposed to die again. Mo Xuanyu’s wish was broken and so his soul got tied up with that of Wei Ying’s in your world. However, Wei Ying’s soul is very powerful, and so Mo Xuanyu’s soul got devoured, that means there will be no Mo Xuanyu in their world.” 

The God sighed. “Both your worlds are quite identical, almost the same, the only difference is that Mo Xuanyu in their world, did not marry Lan Wangji and instead lived out his life being a rogue cultivator. And yes, I am talking about the Mo Xuanyu that you know.” 

The older Lan Wangji looked down and took Sizhui’s hand who sobbed. “Then that means, if Mo Xuanyu won’t be able to reincarnate in that world, my Baba then will not come back?” 

Sizhui looked at the young Wei Ying on the other side who’s looking at him with a confused but concerned look. He turned his head to his another Xian-gege who is a god. “Then…” 

He did not manage to say it, but he could see the god nodding at him. “Yes, that is indeed what will happen.”  

“T-Then maybe I am the problem after all.”

Sizhui turned his head to his father who was holding his hand, seeing him looking down. 

“Wangji, you should not think like that. It is not that you are the problem but that the people in your world seem to forget what humanity is. Do not doubt Wei Ying’s love for you, because until the end, he thought of you.” 

Lan Zhan looked up at the God who looked so much like his beloved before he lost him at the siege. This was the Yiling Laozu. 

“I will show you what truly happened so that you will know why we have to do this.” 

There was suddenly a light beam and a figure appeared, looking much like Wei Wuxian but shorter, and also… different. 

The others who are quiet in the whole lecture of the God as they are trying to process every information, gasped in awe when their whole scenery changed into something they are familiar with. Gusu. 

They all gasped again when the said Mo Xuanyu walked, twirling a dizi into his hand. If there is one thing that is too noticeable to him, it’s his smile. One that is so identical to the person who was the subject of this whole chaos. It is so life-like, as if the person is indeed with them. 

“Sizhui is busy, and my little radishes are done for the day. Lan Zhan is also busy, so what should I do?” 

The young Lan Zhan stared at the man who called his name so lovingly. In the future, they said he’s married to Wei Ying. But… this is not his Wei Ying, the body is almost identical but also not. Clearly, the Wei Ying beside him is taller, and has that too handsome look, this one is more of an adorable and pretty Wei Ying. So, is this Wei Ying then? What happened to his original body? 

The whole scenery changed again, this time the man is in a room, painting on a desk. The man looks so focused on what he’s doing. Out of curiosity, Sizhui stood up and went to the man and gasped when he saw what his Baba was painting. 

Seeing him do that, the others also went. 

“Wow, Wei-Xiong, you’re really such an excellent painter!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed as he saw how detailed and intricate the painting was. It really captured the looks of both Sizhui and the older Wangji! 

“Nie-Xiong, you flatter me! But is this really me?” 

The others suddenly stopped, realizing that this man, indeed, is not their Wei Ying. 

“Hmm, I probably died huh?” Wei Ying thought out loud, which made everyone flinch. The God chuckled. 

“Little me, you are indeed stupidly genius, aren’t you?” 

“He is indeed my Baba,” Sizhui said while still staring at the man. 

“T-Then what happened to—”

“That will be answered later on. For now, just watch.” 

At the God’s word, they just watched the man finish his artwork. The painting is a masterpiece. 

The older Lan Zhan could not help but fall in love with his beloved again. He could see how beautiful the painting was. It was him and Sizhui, both playing a guqin. There were also rabbits in their surroundings which made it look even more ethereal. 

However, the man suddenly hissed. Slowly adjusting his own left wrist. And sure enough, there was blood on it, staining the white robe. He immediately put it away from the painting and took the white robe out of it. 

There was a gasp, and he probably knew that he was the loudest. Sizhui also made a sound of distress which made him snap a look at his son, who’s crying again. His son is so emotional today, he cannot even find it in his mind to scold him. After all, he was in distress as well. 

His beloved’s wrist is full of cuts, and it’s bleeding. 

“Dajiu…” 

“What the…” 

Jiang Cheng looked at the Wei Ying in front of him. His brother who’s looking at his wrist with cuts. Has he been doing this after he married Wangji? 

“Ouch, ouch. Ah, why is it bleeding again?” The man said while taking a small towel and patting it. When the blood is already gone, they can now see how his wrist looked like. Sure enough, it was indeed full of cuts, like a cut repeatedly done. 

“Wangji! What the hell is the meaning of this?!” 

Everyone turned their heads to look at the older Jiang Wanyin who’s glaring at Lan Wangji who’s just staring at the Wei Ying in front of them. 

“Jiujiu—”

“Has this been happening since then, huh? Didn’t you promise no harm will be given to my brother again? What is this… what is this then!?” 

Lan Wangji did not answer and just stared at his beloved. He felt his heart break, seeing how deep some of the cuts are. It was very obvious it did not just happen once and so his heart broke again. 

“Wanyin, no one wanted this,” Lan Xichen said, solemnly. He looked calm but also sad which silenced Jiang Cheng and stared at his brother again. 

Those who were looking at them gaped at the interaction but turned to the Wei Ying again, who had finished bandaging his wrist. 

“Why won’t you leave?” 

The sudden question made them look around, but saw no one. It was an eerie voice and quite childish. 

Wei Ying scoffed. “Why would I leave?” 

“Because you’re not happy here!” 

There were a lot of voices and suddenly, they realized it’s coming from the dizi beside Wei Ying. 

Wei Ying cradled the dizi and tapped it lightly. “What about it? I can’t just simply leave, you know.” 

“But—”

“Chenqing, my son is here. My little ducklings are also here. My husband is here. This is their home, so of course I would stay.” 

There was silence as they stared at the Wei Ying who looked so burdened. So tired, but with a small smile still. 

“Is this your home?” 

It was silent. Sizhui clamped his hand around his mouth when he felt crying again. He also felt his father’s large hands on his shoulder. 

“I want it to be,” Wei Ying said before closing his eyes. “I want this to be my home, so I will stay. I cannot and will never let my son and husband choose, you know that.” 

“This…” Xichen’s voice was trembling. The other side that is not really familiar with the man that they’re watching could not help but just watch. 

The flute was trembling and again, Wei Ying tapped it. “I know, I know. I also don’t know why I’m doing this. I really don’t know! It’s just… I just don’t want this feeling again. This feeling of numbness. So I… so…”

Wei Ying dropped his head on the dizi. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to feel numb again so I felt like pain was the only thing keeping me together. Don’t worry, I’ll get past this. I’ll live. My home is here after all. This may not be my home yet but anywhere with A-Yuan and Lan Zhan is home. They will always be my home.” 

Jiang Cheng seethed in rage seeing his brother looking so heartbroken. Yes, they are not okay but this is not his brother, this is not the brother that he knew. That Wei Wuxian is strong, very strong. He was an anchor, so seeing that this is what’s happening to his brother now, he can’t help but feel angry. He doesn't know if it’s to Lan Wangji, or to himself as well. 

Because maybe, just maybe… if they are both okay, maybe his brother would have told him. 

And then, another scene showed, it is of Mo Xuanyu looking so serenely at the moon, his eyes twinkling with the light. 

“Wow, he does really look like you Wei-xiong, though your eyes are more of silver and his is silver with a blue hue.” 

Everyone cannot help but silently agree at Nie Huaisang. Wei Ying just tilted his head while looking at… supposed to be him. The man looked so vulnerable and his heart felt painful because of it. 

Mo Xuanyu sighed deeply which made the watchers flinch in shock. There were little scenes playing, as if the man was reminiscing about it. And the most familiar person is there with them. They all turned to Lan Qiren who’s also watching the scene with interest before going back to watch the said scenes. 

It was a scene of him carving a rule on the wall of discipline. “Do not talk with Wei Wuxian.” 

Nie Huaisang gasped at the rule and looked at the young Wei Ying who only looked at the scene with passive eyes. 

On the other hand, the younger twin jades cannot help but gaped at the absurd rule being carved by their own uncle. 

Another scene showed an elder scolding Wei Wuxian. “You cannot talk with our students! Who knows how you will influence them, huh?” 

And another scene. “Wangji marrying that demonic cultivator is really such a disgrace! Much like the person itself!” 

Yet another scene. “Wei Wuxian should just die again and let us live in peace already!” 

Scenes that are experienced by Wei Wuxian kept playing. And Lan Wangji, kept feeling his heart ache at every word thrown and at how his beloved only accept, accept, and again, accept every word. 

A scene showed Wei Wuxian entering his own workplace, gasping when he saw his place wrecked and destroyed. His papers are shredded and he slowly picks it up with heavy breaths which makes Wangji’s heart break even more. 

Sizhui isn’t even holding back anymore, he’s openly crying and just staring at his Baba going through all this… things he doesn’t even deserve!  

And just like Sizhui, the other three juniors are also crying, feeling their heart break with how unfair people are with this kind man who wanted nothing but only to have a home he can call his own. 

The others from the other world, the younger versions also cannot help but feel how unfair it was to this man. It was as if the whole world was against him. 

And no one absolutely prepared them for the next scene, of Wei Wuxian grasping for breath as he gathered the shredded paper of his painting of Lan Wangji and Lan Sizhui. Wei Wuxian’s hands were trembling as he held the paper in his chest, sobbing a little. And then he stood up and ran outside the room. 

“Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan!”  

They all flinched when they heard the chant, desperate voice filling the silence of everyone. And as Wei Wuxian arrived at the Jingshi, he saw a letter, carefully reading its contents, that Lan Wangji was not available and should not be disturbed. 

Lan Xichen bit his lips harder at how his own sect was the reason why the man slowly sagged on the floor, like a lifeless puppet. The man hugged the letter to his chest and cried. He cried so painfully that they all felt how it’s breaking the man apart. 

Lan Wangji seeing his husband cry like that cannot help but also silently cry, again. He looked at his son who’s openly sobbing in distress as he saw his ever smiling father crying so heartbreakingly. 

And then, there were thoughts. “I don’t like this! I really don’t like this! It’s so painful I feel like dying!”  

“It hurts! It hurts so much!”  

“Why is it so hard to live? Why? Why? WHY?” 

“Maybe I should just really die.” 

“Yeah, maybe. Maybe if I die, it will not hurt again.”  

And with horror, they watched as Wei Wuxian held Suibian tightly and put it in front of his throat before swiftly slicing it and falling to the ground. 

“Wei Ying!”

“Wei-qianbei!”

“Baba!” 

“Wei-xiong!” 

Everyone gaped at how fast the scene happened. The young Wei Wuxian who’s watching cannot help but incline his head at how vulnerable he looked. Then, if he died already and got resurrected into another body, maybe there were a lot of things that happened for him to be so heartbroken. 

And one last breath. “Lan Zhan…”

Notes:

and here we go! the drama is indeed starting (evil laughs) ANYWAY JUST A LITTLE WARNING EVERYONE THAT I AM NOT A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER, THAT MEANS THERE WILL BE SOME ERRORS AND THAT'S OKAY BEACUSE WHAT ABOUT IT??? see you on the next chapter!

and was it a roller coaster of emotions? good!!!