Chapter 1: Favors for favors
Chapter Text
"As long as I stay on my own, I'll be all good."
The sun was already setting over the server, and Martyn had not had a break from his travels since the morning, when they arrived. While all of the players were busy making alliances, looking for resources and making their first bases, he was perfectly fine with his self-appointed role of a prankster, traveller and a hermit. Looking for friends was quite pointless to him. He always stuck by himself, and it wasn't going to change just yet, when he was safe and free to explore the area. He gathered any resources he needed as he went, sometimes resulting in trading, rarely stealing from the other players. There was no problem with spending the night out - he knew how to defend himself. And he'd rather fight off a few zombies or skeletons than be forced to bond with people he barely knew.
By the time his legs started aching from circling the whole server, it was already dark. The player found himself on a hillside, just past a sparse forest. Out in the distance, a skeleton of someone's base. It was a work in progress, obviously - he could only really see the rough outline of the house from the distance, all constructed from freshly cut wood. Martyn took a spot in a strategic place - on the top of one of the nearby hills, but with his back to a rock wall. A good lookout point, without the risk of someone jumping him from behind. He was used to always thinking five steps ahead - whenever he took rest, he needed to have a way to quickly defend himself or run. Or, in a perfect scenario, avoid being attacked at all. He rested his back against the cold rock, then started looking for something to eat in his inventory. It was a mess of different resources he gathered, traded for or acquired in some less honorable ways. He didn't feel any remorse, however. Back when the game started, he already knew that most of the players already had a tight-knit net of friendships, allyships and different relationships. He was acquainted with a few of them - Grian, Scott, Jimmy and a few others. They wouldn't mind if a 'friend' stole from them, right? As for the others, he barely knew them. They seemed friendly enough, but that was it - they seemed so. He was not keen on taking his chances with anyone, at least not until he knew everything he needed to know. So as much as he was okay with taking from them, he also hesitated from being all too mean towards them. The one who stays neutral, stays alive - or at least he tried convincing himself of that.
After some time, he finally found himself an apple and was ready to start his humble dinner. However, he noticed someone leaving the half-finished (or rather half-started) base he was observing. From the distance, it was quite hard to tell who exactly that was - all he could see was a rather tall, slightly muscular frame, with pointy ears on top of the person's head. Definitely not one of the players he knew well. And he was leaving all his stuff behind, probably to gather more resources... Martyn hid the apple inside of his pocket and pulled himself up. He was quite well equipped for their first day out in the wild - he already had a shield and an iron sword, made from the ore he managed to gather in one of the small caves near the surface. He could sneak into the base through the not yet existing walls, look through the chests, grab anything he deemed necessary or valuable and then bounce. Easy as that. And if the other player came back, he could either pretend it was all just a joke, or defend himself from the stranger. His plan was foolproof.
Martyn walked right into the unfinished house, his steps rattling on the wooden floor. A few furnaces were already hard at work, smelting sand into glass. A row of chests near the supposed entrance, perfectly ready to plunder. But there was also something else that piqued his interest...
An enchanting table.
The player silently gasped and approached the enchanting station. It was quite rare for how early in the game they all were. Not equipped with any bookshelves that could strengthen its power as of yet. Still, it was incredibly valuable... For just a moment, he weighed the decision in his head - should he enchant his weapon here, or would he rather steal the whole enchanting table? After pondering the idea for a moment, he approached the array of chests and opened the first one. Luckily enough, he came upon some lapis lazuli instantly - the deep blue stone was quite easy to differentiate between the other junk inside. Martyn grabbed a few pieces and quietly closed the lid, then went right back to the enchanting table.
"This is too easy..." the man chuckled under his breath, putting the shiny stones, as well as his sword on top of the station. The magical book atop the table opened right away, letting him choose the spell to put upon his weapon. The man reached out, ready to select a Sharpness enchantment-
"Hoi! What are you doing here, man?"
Martyn jumped from surprise, his whole body immediately tensing. He tapped the book to select the spell, then immediately pulled his sword, ready to defend himself from the other man. He may have been the intruder, fair. But he was not going down without a fight.
As the other player turned out to be quite taller than him, Martyn looked up at him. Surprisingly, the pointy ears on the top of his head were not just something he saw by mistake - he was clearly some kind of canine hybrid, together with a wagging tail and hind legs shaped like a dog's. The rest of the man's body was human - and not looking bad, either. His stare was hidden behind a pair of sunglasses - strange choice for the time of day - but as they slid down, Martyn noticed a pair of bright, blue eyes staring right at him with curiosity and intrigue. No sign of hostility... At least so far. His long, brown hair was tied up into a messy ponytail, and his scruffy look was completed by a slightly uneven beard. Not to mention the flannel shirt that showed off his skinny, but toned body... If it wasn't for their predicament, Martyn maybe would've even called him hot. But at that moment, he had other things on his hands than wondering whether the stranger (who could just as well be his future friend or enemy) was handsome or not.
"I, uh..." he stalled for a moment, shifting his centre of gravity from one leg to the other in a restless manner "I was just travelling! Seeing the four corners of the server, seeing how the players are doing... We haven't met though, have w-"
"Watch out!" the man suddenly lunged at him and tackled him to the ground, covering him with his own body. Martyn's face immediately went red, as it was just a little bit too close to the other player's chest.
"Hey! What was that abo-" Martyn was cut off yet again, upon hearing a terrifying screech just over their heads. "Phantoms...?"
This early? They usually took a few days to scour the area and find players to attack. This time however, they were here quite early. The half-canine looked down at Martyn with a playful smirk.
"You have a lot of nerve to come to Ren's Enchanted Emporium and use it without paying" he teased. A second later, when one of the phantoms nosedived right at them, the man slashed his sword through the sky to hopefully chase it away. Martyn crawled from under the man, quite confused by what the man just heard.
"Ren's Enchanted what?" he chuckled, pulling himself up. Right before another phantom was ready to attack him, he swatted it away with his newly enchanted sword.
"My enchantin' business, baby! You don't get to enchant without paying, dang it!" the man didn't really sound mad - more so annoyed. That gave Martyn hope that he could just talk it out, without getting punished for breaking the apparent rules. "You thought you could sneak up on me, huh?"
"I-I thought it was a communal enchant! You shouldn't leave stuff like this out in the open!" Marttn immediately deflected.
"Out in the open? This is my house, man!"
"Well it doesn't look very safe, does it? You have some phantoms here, if you haven't noticed!"
More and more monsters started attacking them, some of them actually managing to land a few hits. Their bites were quite painful, but luckily phantoms were not venomous creatures. Martyn huffed and covered his injured arm, swinging his weapon in his less-dominant hand. He couldn't just die like that, right? Becoming the first yellow name on the server thanks to a few stupid phantoms sounded incredibly embarrassing. But they were just so difficult to hit, with how they dived towards the players, bit them quickly and picked up their flight again...
"Hey! Over here!"
It took Martyn a moment to see the other player's hand, poking out from a hole in the ground. He immediately ran in that direction and without much through, he slid inside. He expected there to be some kind of safe place, where the monsters couldn't hit them - the one thing he didn't expect was that it was half filled with water. The man barely stopped a startled yelp, upon feeling everything under his ribcage immediately get submerged in the cold water. His body froze for a moment from the shock - not the thermal kind, luckily. Still, the sensation was not pleasurable. His fall into the underwater pond was immediately accompanied by the other player's laugh.
"You okay?" he asked "You don't like water, man? Geez..."
"You could've warned me" he groaned quietly, treading through the water, trying to feel his way along the edge of the body of water. The man was desperately hoping that he wouldn't lose the ground under his feet. Swimming was definitely not one of his strong suits.
"Sorry, dude! I didn't want these freaks to getcha!"
"Okay, okay..." Martyn rolled his eyes. He looked up, to see the phantoms try and attack them in the hole - but none of them quite fit inside of the narrow crevasse. "We're safe for now, I guess... We can easily get them from inside..."
"But first..." the player approached him, splashing the water with each step. In a startled manner, Martyn took a step back, picking up immediately what he was laying down. "We gotta figure out your enchant situation, huh?"
"Do we?" he asked in a stern tone, then reached out his weapon at the canine. The tip on the blade almost touched his throat. Somehow, an amused smirk did not fade from the man's face for even a second. Why was he so playful about this? "I can slit your throat, and run. So don't you try any of your tricks at me."
"I'd rather you not do that" the canine suggested in a lighthearted way. He put his finger on the flat of the weapon and pushed it down. "I'm not going to hurt'cha, man... Besides, a green cannot kill another green, right?"
"You... I guess you're right" Martyn nodded and lowered his weapon. He was ready to use his weapon in a last resort scenario, though. "So what do you propose?"
"Well, you broke the most important rule of Ren's Enchanted Emporium, man! And that rule is: you wanna enchant, you gotta pay!"
"Ren's Enchanted..." Martyn let out a soft chuckle upon hearing the name. "That's quite a mouthful, isn't it? Can't you think of something shorter?"
"Why? I'm Ren, and this is my Enchanted Emporium, dang it!"
"So how about you call it... Renchanting? Y'know, Ren and enchanting?" he suggested. Immediately, the canine's face lit up.
"Renchantin'... I like that, man! You're good at it!"
"And, and! I'm not done" he added in a more playful way. Maybe there actually was a way to talk this out? "How about a slogan to go with that? Something like..." Martyn looked up and down at Ren. His nervous breathing finally started to calm down. "Something like: 'Don't be a dog, be a god'."
Ren immediately burst out into laughter.
"Hey! What's wrong with being a dog, dude?"
"Nothin', nothin'! But, y'know, it'll sell! I know it!"
Ren took a few more steps towards Martyn. The player was ready to step back again - until all of a sudden, Ren grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug. His whole body froze in an instant upon feeling the man's strong arms around his rather skinny frame. A sudden explosion of heat erupted in his chest in an instant. It shouldn't feel so good, he barely knows the guy, and he's already being hugged so tightly his ribs feel like they're gonna pop... Why was he enjoying it so much?
"You're a smart one, aren'tcha?" Ren laughed "What's your name, dude?"
"I-I'm... I'm Martyn" he stuttered out "Can you let me go, please...?"
"Oh, sure, sure! Sorry!"
The canine immediately dropped Martyn, resulting in the man falling into the water with a splash. Great, now his whole body was wet. As he started pulling himself out, Ren started digging a way out for them, while flailing his pickaxe at the phantoms. Some of them already got injured and fell to the ground, while a few decided to retreat into the safe embrace of the night. Ren reached out his hand to help Martyn out. The man hesitated, but ultimately left the hole on his own.
"Okay so, how about this... I'll let you go scot free, this one time" Ren suggested, the tip of his pickaxe hooking Martyn's shoulder. "But! In return, you'll go around the server and promote Renchanting. And for every player you convince to come here and actually pay me to enchant, I'll give you another free spell to cast. Deal?"
Martyn looked up at the man. How could he keep this upbeat facade all this time? Unless it was only that, a facade... There was something about Ren that didn't make the blond man trust him just yet. He just seemed so... Friendly. Gentle. Warm. Why did he care so much about a guy he barely met? It was a trap, wasn't it? On the other hand, he was given a mission that had him go out - a perfect opportunity to run away and wait until the man forgets about the deal... Ultimately, Martyn nodded.
"Deal." he agreed and turned around, ready to leave.
"Hold up! It's the middle of the night, you're going out now?"
"Well... Yeah...?"
"I ain't letting my new employee risk his life out in the wilderness, dang it, and in the middle of the night! You're staying here until the sun is up, and then you can go."
"Uhhhh... I'd rather not..."
Ren did not listen to him, however. He put his pickaxe away, then approached his half-finished house and pulled out a bed from one of the chests. He set it on the wooden floor, and immediately added another one a meter or so away. So he was serious about letting Martyn stay the night... The man went after Ren and upon a brief hesitation, he pushed his bed a bit further away, right under an unfinished wall.
"If you don't mind... Y'know, just in case..." he started.
"No pressure! We can always put them closer together if you change your mind, if you know what I'm saying" he winked at Martyn. "C'mon, get some sleep, dude. You earned it."
After just several minutes, Ren was already dead asleep in his bed, snoring quite loudly. Martyn was still sitting on his own bed, sorting through his inventory to calm himself down. The idea of teaming up with someone he just met was strange to him... Well, the idea of teaming up in general did not sit well with him. Ren was nice enough... But it could always be a trap. And above everything else, he couldn't let himself forget. He rested his head against a low wall of the building, hesitant to fall asleep next to someone who could either be a friend or an enemy. Still, his overthinking, untrustful brain tried its best to keep him awake, in case of a surprise attack. It could only struggle against his exhausted body so long however, and soon enough, Martyn slid into a state of light, paranoid sleep.
Chapter 2: Break the walls down & build them up
Summary:
The bond between Martyn and Ren tightens, slowly but surely.
Notes:
You guys seem to like the idea! I can tell you right away - it's gonna be a bit more time before this story really diverges from what happens in the actual series. But when it does, you're gonna LOVE it (I hope).
And thanks again for the encouragement, you guys are awesome!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Since waking up quite late in the morning, Ren immediately got back to working on his new base. Martyn had already left by the time he got up - so the canine could only hope that his new friend did not plan on just straight up abandoning him. The other player's attitude was still quite a mystery to him. Why was he always so suspicious, so on edge? Ren tried his best to appear friendly and patient. Even when he felt the cold blade pointed to his throat, he did not lose his composure for even a moment. Looking into the blond man's eyes, under a layer of distrust, he could clearly see his anxiety, mixed in with a genuine need to find someone he could lean on. As if he needed to be sure Ren wouldn't hurt him. What must've happened to him in the past to make him like that?
The man hummed quietly as he finished constructing the last wall of his new house. He really wanted this, Renchanting, to work out - and really hoped that Martyn did not just dip after his offer. It would be such a shame if he decided to never come back. There was something about him that made Ren so endlessly curious, wanting to find out more about his new friend... Or who he wanted to assume he was.
At some point, he noticed someone approaching the newly built base. At first, his face lit up at the thought that Martyn came back- oops, no, false alarm. But it was nice to see a friendly face around, regardless!
"Hello, Skizzle!" He called to the other player. The canine did not know the tall, winged man all that well, but he seemed friendly enough.
"Hey Ren! I've been told by Martyn about this business of yours, and wanted to check it out..." He admitted upon getting closer to the wooden shack. A flicker of hope immediately lit up in Ren's chest. So Martyn did not bluff about his part of the deal... "So what do you do here?"
"Step in, Skizzle, dude!" Ren smiled and opened the door wide for him. "Here at Renchanting, you get to enchant anything you need, and the price is whatever you want!"
"Whatever I want, huh? Not a bad deal" Skizz smirked and entered the house, pulling his big wings through the door frame. "See, I need to enchant my armor, after what happened today..."
"What happened?" Ren tilted his head. He was so occupied with his work that he didn't even have the time to look at chat.
"Oh, you haven't heard? Scar's on yellow! Grian got a creeper to explode on him" Skizz giggled under his breath. "Started with some silly jokes that Martyn was making, and ended with... Well, our first yellow on the server!"
"Goodness gracious..." a nervous chuckle escaped Ren's mouth. "Did nobody else get hurt?" He asked, quickly biting himself in the tongue before specifying that he only cared about it in regards to Martyn. Or at least, mostly in regards to him.
"Not really, I think..."
Skizz wanted to add something, but he was cut by the sudden creak of the doors opening. Martyn stood in the doorframe, panting after running to the place for the past several minutes. Without a word, he approached the winged man and pulled out his sword.
"What are you doing here? Trying to steal our enchanting table? The heart of Renchanting?" He asked in an accusatory tone. Ren immediately got between the two, separating them before the conflict could escalate.
"Wait, dude, chill! He's just here for business, man!" He attempted to defend Skizz, but Martyn did not seem convinced.
"Oh really?"
"You literally asked me to come here to trade, man!" Skizz laughed at the out of nowhere accusation. That comment was what finally made Martyn realize how strange of him it was to blow up at the man like that.
"I... I guess I did..." He muttered under his breath and rubbed his temple. "Sorry, this whole... Scar situation kinda messed with me, I guess. Am I interrupting you two?"
"Kinda..." Ren added, but then immediately added: "But it's fine! You can stay!"
Martyn resorted to sitting on his bed and silently watching the deal being made between Skizz and Ren. He couldn't shake off the feeling that something was gonna go wrong at any moment. He barely knew both of the players, but they had no reason to be hostile towards him... Or did they? He kept on tapping on his sword's hilt, sometimes looking down at the blade to see his reflection. He looked like a mess. He had dark circles under his eyes after not sleeping all that peacefully. His breathing just stabilized after running to the base, but he was still a bit sweaty. His hair kept getting in his face, with no good way for him to keep it out. At that moment, he started wondering what Ren saw in him last evening, that made him so friendly to a complete stranger. Martyn looked up at the canine, whose cheerful smile did not leave his face for even a moment as he bartered with Skizz. Was he usually this friendly with everyone, or did he just get lucky? For a moment, he started wondering what would've happened if he managed to run away unnoticed that previous evening. He'd still be homeless, probably aimlessly wandering the server and struggling to make any more friends. Not that he could Ren one. He could only hope he did.
By the time Skizz left, Ren joined Martyn on his bed. Immediately, the blond man pulled away a bit, not sure whether he enjoyed the closeness. On one hand, he craved the feeling of someone being close to him and actually enjoying it, too. On the other, his mind immediately flashed him with an idea of Ren immediately stabbing him through the back. And it didn't matter that he wasn't even armed. Martyn even started questioning himself, why was he so hypervigilant about everything?
"Hey, it's fine, it's chill... Want me to leave you alone?" Ren asked carefully.
"No, no, I... I don't think so" Martyn muttered. "I'm just... Y'know, we're literally in a death game. You don't have to be nice to me..."
"I know." The canine grinned at him and added: "You think I'm nice to you 'cause I have to be?"
"N-no, probably not..." the blond nervously chuckled. "So why are you...?"
"'cause why not?" the man shrugged with a playful smile. "You're a nice guy! You could've stolen that enchanting and run, if you know what I'm sayin... Butcha didn't!"
"You're nice to me... Because I was not a total jerk to you...?" Martyn rephrased that sentence with a confused, yet amused expression.
"Hell yeah, baby! And you didn't run away today when you had a chance, so that's nice, too!"
Martyn nervously chuckled, slightly rolling his eyes. It was... Nice to be praised like that, even if the bar was practically on the floor.
"Thanks..."
"And! I have something special for you!" Ren added with a sudden burst of enthusiasm in his voice. Martyn turned towards him, quite intrigued by the sudden revelation. He really tried to not make his excitement too apparent, of course. He did not want to come off as greedy.
"Oh, really...? I wonder what that-"
The man didn't even finish, before something landed on his lap. It was a book, with a thick, leather cover stitched from different, colorful pieces. A small, crudely sharpened pencil was attached to the spine. His eyes lit up at the sight of the gift. There was not much he remembered of his life prior to getting to this place, but he loved reading, that's for sure... Before he realized that it didn't matter, as he flipped through the book and realized that all of the pages are completely empty. In confusion, he turned the book and started looking through the pages. Did he miss something? Was this a trick? Or a test?
"What is this...?"
"I got you a diary! Or a journal, if you want it to sound fancier." Ren said with an excited smile. "I dunno, you look like a guy who thinks a lot, so maybe you'll enjoy writing down your great ideas? I mean, if you don't like it, I can-"
"I love it" Martyn whispered and hugged the journal to his chest. The smell of fresh leather calmed him down ever so slightly. "But... What for...?"
"Just because! A man can give his friend a gift with no occasion, right?" The man smiled, his tail starting to wag quickly upon picking up on Martyn's happiness. He really did enjoy it... Another step towards breaking down his walls.
"And you really want nothing in return for it...?"
"No, of course!" Ren chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Geez, not everything has to be an exchange, man! Just take it, no strings attached!"
After a moment of hesitation, Martyn leaned on Ren's shoulder ever so slightly. His mind was yelling at him for this tiny show of vulnerability - just because his supposed teammate was nice to him a few times, it still didn't mean he was completely safe with him, right? But for that one moment, it didn't matter. He desperately wanted to believe that he could trust Ren. That this one time, things wouldn't go horribly wrong. He took a deep breath, accidentally getting a taste of how the canine smelled like. The scent consisted of fur, freshly cut wood and warmth. He wanted to feel it forever, but the idea of staying close enough for that still terrified him.
"You wanna help me with buildin', man?" the taller man suggested all of a sudden. Martyn's head perked up and looked up at him again.
"Building what? Isn't the house finished?"
"Well, it wouldn't hurt to add something more, huh? I was thinking of adding a wall around the place, so that people don't just sneak in and steal our enchanter... What do you think, baby?"
That last word made Martyn's brain shortcircuit for a moment. Why did he call him that? And why did he enjoy it?
"Uhhh... Yeah, good idea. We can make it thick enough to slow down anyone who wants to break through it... We can add outposts to shoot down any attackers... We can add hidden entrances, and-" he suddenly stopped upon receiving a strong hug from Ren. A wave of heat filled his chest and head, making him forget his own name for a second. He froze in place, as if to stop his instincts from immediately pushing Ren away.
"Hell yeah, baby! That's what I'm talking about! So you wanna help, right?"
Martyn's sight fell on the journal in his arms for a moment.
"Yeah, yeah, I will... Just... Give me a moment, okay? I need to... Write something down. But I'll join you in a moment, I promise."
"Now we're cookin'! I'll be waitin' for you!"
Soon after, Ren left the house after grabbing some resources from the chests. Martyn silently watched him leave. His back landed against the wooden wall, then he opened his journal again. The first blank page filled him with uncertainty. It looked so pristine and clear, too good for him to fill it with his messy handwriting and complicated feelings... But that's what it was made for. Stripping it off its purpose would be like denying it the right to exist. Martyn grabbed the flimsy pencil, then scribbled the first few words on the paper. The next ones came a bit easier to him.
Ren gave me this journal today, so I guess I'll have to make use of it.
I'm still not sure why he did it. There are other uses for books - we still need to make an enchanting station for the high-level spells, and misusing even one book sets us back. I guess he just wanted to make me happy, but why?
I'm probably looking too deep into it. Being with him just feels so... Right? Like he's not gonna actually hurt me. It's the other thing that worries me. That I do something stupid to him and end up regretting it. And that he regrets giving me a chance. Maybe he does that already but doesn't want to show me?
I should stop thinking that. I probably sound like a lunatic. I really hope he never asks to see this journal. He's gonna think I'm insane. Maybe I am?
Martyn shut the journal close and hid it under his pillow. After a moment of hesitation whether he should keep the book there in case someone else spotted it, he grabbed it and quickly added a few words.
Maybe I can try being nice to him. Maybe this time, it will work. I want it to work.
He looked back at the hiding place one last time, then finally pushed himself to stop staring and left the house to join Ren.
Notes:
Btw, what do you guys think about me opening a Discord server for those of you who like my stories/AU? And just as a general place to meet people? :3
Chapter 3: Kill me once, shame on me
Summary:
Negotiations with Scar do not go well, and it results in two players losing a life. Ren has a way to get out of their difficult predicament, but it will serve as a real test of his and Martyn's blossoming bond.
Notes:
Sorry for the lack of updates for the past few days, I was spending the time with my family and friends, as well as writing some other important things. Also, sorry if this chapter is a little weaker, but I had a killer migraine today and I barely managed to get out of bed ^^" hope you liked it, though!
Chapter Text
Living with Ren has been... Interesting, to say the least.
It really does feel like he cares about me. He asks for my opinions, makes sure I get enough sleep and don't forget to eat. He even tried hugging me a couple of times, but I don't think I'm ready yet. No matter how nice he is, I can't help but think that this is all just a joke. And I'm pretty sure he feels that too. I really want to trust him, but I can't, for whatever reason. I hope that one day, I'll make it up to-
Martyn perked up his head, upon hearing Ren knocking on their house's door. Why would he knock on the door of his own house? The man shuddered, then hid his journal under his pillow.
"Come in!" He called out, and just a moment later, his friend opened the door. It's been getting colder around the area, and Ren started wearing a long, red coat to warm himself. He looked quite nice, even regal in it.
"There is my favorite knight!" Ren smiled and approached him. "How are you, miladdie? Slept well?"
Martyn snickered under his breath. Having someone worry about his wellbeing was... Nice, if a bit strange. Not that he didn't like that Ren cared, but couldn't quite understand why he did. He ultimately got up from his bed.
"Yeah, I'm feeling fine..." He nodded, still keeping his distance from Ren. "Do you need my help with anything, milord?"
They started jokingly using these formalities in the past few days. They stuck much quicker than either of them expected. Both of them enjoyed this little roleplay they had going on. Martyn slowly got used to having someone who told him what to do, while respecting him as a person. At the same time, Ren may have been in the position of power, but he always made sure to consider Martyn's input and ideas. Each time, when he saw just a little bit more trust in his teammate's eyes, it filled him with hope. He reached out his hand.
"I was just finishing constructing the wall, but I've run out of stone... There should be some more in these chests, I think..."
"I can help!" Martyn suggested and approached their small storage system. Ren slowly walked up behind him, but kept his distance, to not startle Martyn. After a moment, he finally spoke up:
"...Your hair is growing out, I think..."
"It is?" The blond man hummed and pulled his hand through his hair. Indeed, it started falling into his eyes. "Well, would you look at that..."
"Can I help, dude?" Ren asked. Martyn tensed a little, although he tried his best to hide his worries.
"Yeah... Sure..."
As the canine got closer and touched his hair, Martyn had to bite himself in the tongue to keep still and not move away. It's fine, he's not gonna hurt me, he's a friend... He thought, trying to convince himself. If he wanted to hurt me, he had enough chances already... And he never did.
"There!" Ren smiled brightly and took a step back. Martyn again pulled his hand through his hair, immediately feeling the change. No longer he'd feel loose strands falling into his face, thanks to a headband Ren wrapped around his temples and forehead. The man smiled gently, the expression made Ren feel like his heart was soaring. "What do we think?"
"It's nice... Thanks." Martyn whispered in a timid way. "Can I, uh, ask you something?"
"Sure, miladdie! C'mon!"
"Why are you so nice to me...?"
Ren took a deep breath. He knew this question would come eventually. He wished he could just spill the truth, right then and there... But things were not that simple. As much as he wanted to pull his friend into his arms and explain everything, he had to wait. He just gently ruffled the man's hair and smiled.
"You deserve it, miladdie." he smiled gently. Then, all of a sudden, his ears perked up as he heard something outside of the walls. "Someone's coming..."
"Who?" Martyn accidentally dropped the stone he just pulled out of the chest.
"I'm pretty sure I know... Stay here."
"But-!" the knight looked after him, as his king left the house and shut the door behind him.
Martyn groaned quietly in frustration. He could protect himself... More importantly, he wanted to protect Ren, no matter who was coming or what were their intentions. The man hid the leftover stone in the chest, then looked towards a window. He could always sneak out and figure out the situation from afar... Not thinking much of the possible repercussions, he pushed one of the doors open and pulled himself up the house, towards the roof.
Their base was rather well protected from anyone who wanted to harm them. Dogwarts, as they started calling it lately, was surrounded by a thick, stone wall, which was several meters tall and difficult to penetrate. The gates were rarely ever opened, as if to show that the two did not enjoy other people's company. Still, Martyn could feel that someone just sneaked in. Or at least was very close to doing so. He took a spot on the roof and grabbed a bow, ready to shoot at anyone who got too close to his king.
Ren climbed atop one of the watchtowers, immediately noticing an enemy just under the walls. His face twisted in an annoyed frown upon seeing who decided to disturb them this time.
"Oh, it's you, desert man." He groaned and grabbed his sword.
"Nice to see you too, Ren!" Scar welcomed him with one of his winning smiles. He took a step back upon seeing a crossbow aimed right at him. "Hey, hey, I'm here for purely business purposes!"
"We're not doing any business with your kind." Ren growled quietly. "Get out, before I turn that nametag of yours from yellow to red.
"Oh no, oh no no no, you can't do that!" the other man giggled playfully. "That'd be against the rules, good sir!"
"Would it now? Say that to your teammate, then."
"Oh, Grian is working hard to make it up to me, thank you very much! Now, can I get inside?"
"No, you cannot. Get out of here- Scar!"
Unbothered by Ren's words, Scar started digging through the wall. Why was he so insistent on talking to Ren, and did not even respect their privacy? Ren immediately jumped down the wall, awaiting Scar on the other side of the wall. The moment the yellow life emerged, he was welcomed by a crossbow aimed right at his throat. He chuckled in an amused way and took a step back.
"Hey, chill, Ren! I said I'm here with a business proposition!"
Martyn moved a bit closer. He pulled out one arrow, ready to shoot right at Scar at a moment's notice. There was something sinister to him - not just his yellow name, getting him closer and closer to the prospect to attack people for any reason he'd find. The man gasped quietly as Scar took a few steps away from Ren, pushing away the crossbow with his bare hand - as if he didn't care that the king could shoot at any moment.
"Listen, Ren... Hard times are ahead of us." He said in a calm voice. Still, there was a clear hint of cunning and scheming in his tone. "I might turn red any moment, and then, it's pretty much over for all of you! Especially you, and your little kingdom."
"We'll do fine. What do you want, Scar?"
"Oh, simple! All I offer is not attacking you the moment I turn red. Let's just say me and Grian will give and your..." He pondered his words for a moment, looking away from Ren for a moment " Partner a pardon. Protection, even."
"And what do you want in return?"
"Not much! Just your enchanter."
Ren froze in place upon hearing that. He should've known that Scar would ask for that. Still, the idea filled him with dread. He really wanted to take the heart of Renchanting... In return for an intangible promise of not killing them on the first chance he'd get. There was no way he'd actually deliver on the promise... The king hated the idea of even considering the idea. There was one part that still kept him thinking, however.
"You'll not touch Martyn if I give you the enchanter?"
"Heavens, no! Even better- We can take him in if you ever happen to die!"
"What...?" Martyn whispered, immediately tensing. At that moment, he was sure he heard someone right outside of the gates - but he couldn't focus on that. At that point, his head filled with confusion and doubts. Why would Ren even think about going through with the offer? He bit his tongue, loading an arrow on his bow.
"And you're sure nothing bad will happen to him...?"
"He'll be fine! ...You really care about him, don'tcha?"
Ren slowly shook his head.
"I guess..." He muttered. Ren took a deep breath, ready to seal the deal...
Until a sudden whoosh of air whistled right between them. Scar recoiled in pain, as the arrow pierced right through his exposed shoulder. The blond man licked his lips and grabbed another arrow, loading it again.
"Get outta here, you filthy desert hippie!" He yelled, standing up. The cold hair messed up his hair ever so slightly, giving his look a wilder edge. Ren looked up at him, barely stopping his mouth from going agape at the sight. How was he always so effortlessly cool? "We'll never make any deals with scoundrels like you! You may take the enchanter from our cold, dead hands!"
"Oh! Okay, no problem!" Scar chuckled. He reached for his sword, but the wound proved too much of a distraction. He was in no fighting form at that moment... He could only hope that the second half of their plan worked. He slowly withdrew towards the gate. "I'll be back for it, I hope you realize... The moment I turn red, you're the first to go, Ren."
"Get out of here, Scar!" Ren yelled right at him. He then turned towards Martyn and sighed with relief. "I could handle it."
"I could tell... You almost gave away our enchanter! For what? For Scar to leave us alone?" The knight rolled his eyes. He then jumped down from the roof and softly landed on the grass. "We don't need to make any deals with these guys. We'll be fine on our own."
"Are you sure...?"
"Yes, I am!" Martyn sighed and rolled his eyes. "Stay here, I'll open the gates so that he gets the hell out of here..."
The king turned away to fix the hole Scar left in the wall. There was just one thought that kept nagging him in the back of his brain. As if he should remember something... As if the whole ordeal was not over yet. His ears turned to Martyn and Scar, listening carefully whether his knight needed his assistance. The gates opened with a loud, metallic clang, letting the desert man walk away freely. But it didn't sound like he did.
"Get outta here, Scar! Or do you need me to walk you out?"
"That'd be very appreciated, actually! Thanks, Martyn!"
In an instant, Ren's whole body tensed. The memories he was not supposed to have flooded back to him. There was something he forgot about- Something crucial. He immediately turned around and ran towards the gate, to the surprise of the other two players. Scar was already holding Martyn by the wrist, pulling him towards the entrance. They did not see the freshly moved dirt in front of the gate, did they?
"Miladdie! Move back!" He yelled, tackling Scar and sending them both tumbling down on the ground. Martyn took a step back in shock, not sure what was happening. And he didn't even have the time to witness it - before a loud explosion went off right under them, blowing up them both to smithereens.
Rendog blew up.
Goodtimewithscar blew up.
"NO!" Martyn screamed. The shockwave pushed him back, just past the crumbling gate. The smoke emitting from the crater emitted a strong stench of gunpowder and burned meat. Right after his ears stopped ringing from the loud bang, he heard a sinister giggle, coming from the side of the wall. A giggle he recognized in an instant. "Grian! Get back here!"
The man grabbed his sword and ran after his enemy. He had so many questions; did Grian set up the trap? Why? He was on green, so he couldn't kill other players, right? But, most importantly - how did Ren know about the trap? And if he did know about it, why did he let himself get blown up by the trap? Martyn groaned quietly as he took chase right after Grian, but the strong current of the river Grian just crossed stopped him. He was not a great swimmer. By the time he got to the other side, the other player would already be gone.
"You dirty cheater! You better get outta here!"
Grian just continued giggling as he ran away from the castle. Martyn sighed and turned around to head back towards Dogwarts. The huge gaping hole in the hole, as well as the destroyed wall filled him with dread. He really did fail his one single task of protecting Ren, didn't he? He climbed inside of their base, then quickly got inside of the house. Seeing his teammate just after respawning, with scars after the explosions and his clothes burned made him feel incredibly guilty.
"I-I'm sorry, my liege..." He gasped. "I- I had no idea..."
"It's fine, miladdie" Ren coughed up an answer. "It's okay... That was meant to happen, it seems."
"How... How do you know...?"
"The good thing is, Scar is on red now..."
"It's not good! Now he's gonna go after you- After us! I need to- I need to protect you, you're on yellow now..." Martyn huffed, grabbing his hair and forcefully pulling on it. The guilt of letting that happen was eating him alive - even if somewhere deep down, he was aware that he couldn't have known of this. Still, he was sure he could do something, anything, to prevent this from happening...
Ren got from his place and grabbed his knight's hands, preventing him from hurting himself further. Martyn stepped back a little, but did not pull his hands out of the man's grasp.
"It's okay, miladdie, dude..." He whispered with a soft smile. "It's fine. I promise... I know how to get us out of this mess. But you're gonna have to trust me..."
Martyn shuddered upon hearing the words. He already failed his king once... Was he supposed to do it again...?
"How so...?"
"Tomorrow, miladdie. Tomorrow evening, I'll explain everything. You just go get some sleep, okay? You look exhausted..."
"Are you sure, my liege...?"
"Absolutely sure." Ren nodded. Slowly and gently, he pulled Martyn's hands to himself and left a soft kiss on his knuckles. The knight shuddered again. It shouldn't have felt so good...
"Okay, okay..." he whispered. "I will. And, tomorrow evening... We'll figure it out."
Chapter 4: Kill me twice, shame on you
Summary:
TW: Violence and gore. Quite a bit of gore. Especially at the end.
Ren decides to test whether Martyn trusts him.
Notes:
Is it gonna sound stupid if I say that I almost cried while writing this?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
That was a cold night - one of the coldest that Martyn had ever experienced. The stars seemed even dimmer than usual. The air seemed heavy and almost toxic, as if one breath too much and it'd leave either the Hand or his king dead. He was standing atop Black Heart Altar, where Ren told him to wait for midnight. The freezing air blew through his hoodie, leaving him with goosebumps all over his body. By the time the moon reached the highest point in the night sky, he lost track of time. It could be hours, or it could be just several minutes. Martyn's fingers continuously tapped on the handle of Red Winter - a big, heavy battle axe his king asked him to create the previous night. The blade was made of the toughest, cleanest diamonds the man could find, and it probably weighed half as much as he did. A huge, deadly weapon - perfect for finishing off filthy desert hippies. But why would he ask Martyn to wait with it in his hands, in the middle of the night? His mind briefly went to the short conversation they had after Ren died, turning from green to yellow. He mentioned some kinda test... Was it a test of endurance, maybe? Or to test Martyn's conviction? He could only hope it didn't mean him spending the whole night out in the cold...
The man sighed with relief upon seeing Ren leaving their house. His king looked... Different. Usually, there was this light, playful bling in his eye - not this time, however. He looked dead serious, as he approached the altar. His silhouette was hidden with a heavy, crimson red coat. Upon his head laid a shiny, golden crown. When did he even have the time to make it? Or did he get it somewhere else? Martyn straightened up at the sight of his king, although it sent a wave of pain through his spine, already strained from the cold.
"My liege..." He bowed deeply, but Ren stopped him with a simple hand gesture.
"Martyn, me hand... May we proceed with our test...?"
"Yes... Yes, I guess we can..." Martyn nervously chuckled. "Although, uh, if I may, my liege..."
"You may."
"I don't even know what this 'test' is meant to achieve... I-I don't even know what this test is , let alone-"
"Me hand..." Ren repeated, this time in a slightly warmer tone. "Patience. I will explain everything to you. You trust me, right?"
"I..." Martyn didn't answer. Did he? That was the one question he kept asking himself for the past few days, but couldn't find an answer. Of course, he knew what kind of answer Ren expected from him - an undeniable 'yes'. But would he lie if he said that? And would his king realize that was a lie if it really was? Maybe he was giving Ren too much credit; maybe it wasn't all that serious? Maybe he was still being playful, but in a... Different way?
The king silently nodded. He should've expected that answer. Maybe he was rushing it a bit... No, a thought rang in the back of his mind. It'll be fine. Even if it won't go as you want, you'll figure it out. You have to. He took his spot on top of Black Heart Altar. His big, warm hands fell atop Martyn's cold, trembling hands, still cradling Red Winter like the most precious treasure he couldn't quite understand the true value of. So this was it.
"Me hand... My loyal, brave knight..." The king said with a warm smile. "This kingdom we've built here, Dogwarts... It's the most beautiful kingdom this server has ever seen."
"Not like we have much of a competition." Martyn pointed out in a quiet murmur, which made Ren chuckle.
"That, too... However. Soon, this beautiful kingdom will be endangered. We need to protect it from anyone who will want to come and take it away from us. Do you understand, me hand?"
"I do... But... What does that mean, exactly...?"
Martyn looked down at the weapon. There was one weapon he had in his head, and he really didn't want it to come to fruition. He shut his eyes tight, awaiting the command.
"You see, me hand... Ones like Scar, that are already on their red life, are free to wreak havoc upon the server. And if Dogwarts possessed this kind of power... We'd be unstoppable, you and I."
"Do you want me to... Kill myself for you...?" Martyn asked in a trembling tone, a cloud of vapor escaping his mouth. Ren tightened his grasp on his small, yet rigid hands.
"No... I want you, me hand, to slice your king's head off his neck, turning him into a red. This will be the first part of our ultimate test of trust."
Martyn couldn't help but gasp upon the revelation. Ren wanted his closest knight, his right hand man to... Kill him? What kind of sick, twisted test was it? His hands started shaking again - this time, not from the cold. His breathing hitched, as if stopping to breathe would stop him from committing the act.
"I... I don't know if I can do this, milord..." He whispered, tears welling up in his eyes.
"Of course you can, me hand... You've done this before. I trust you."
"W-what...?"
Without another word, Ren took off his coat and put it aside, then knelt down in the center of the altar. Martyn could feel his own breathing becoming fast, shallow and uneven. At this point he wondered whether he'd prefer killing himself, as a test. His mind quickly started spiraling, trying to make any sense of this situation. Why would Ren ask him to do that? And what did he mean by 'you've done this before'? Did he blame Martyn for the explosion, which resulted in Ren turning yellow? And now, did he really want the man to finish the job? It felt... Impossible. Downright evil. Why would he ever want something like that to happen...? Unless...
"My lord..." He whispered. "Is this the test...? Do I pass it if I... If I don't kill you...?"
Ren bit his lip upon hearing that. He should've expected the hesitation from Martyn... He was always such a gentle soul, like a delicate rose, surrounded by walls of barbed wire. But, it was too late to go back now. It had to be done.
"No, my hand. Do it. I trust you."
Martyn's grip on the weapon shifted, allowing him to actually wield the weapon. His teary eyes made everything blurry, making it almost impossible for him to actually aim. Questions were whirring through his mind, taunting and mocking him. Why. Why. Why? Why would Ren ask him to do it? Why was he so insistent? Did he do it because he trusted Martyn, or for some other reason? He took a deep breath and attempted to ready the weapon. It was so heavy, he almost couldn't lift it from the ground. Not to mention, he was on the verge of breaking down. This couldn't be everything Ren wanted from him, right? He wouldn't just ask a stranger to kill him, right?
"My lord...?"
"Do it!"
That sudden scream triggered something within Martyn. As if strength he never knew he possessed suddenly filled him, allowing him to wield Red Winter. If this is what Ren wanted... If this was truly what he had done before... Then so be it.
With one, clean swing, Martyn brought the weapon down upon his king. With a squelch of cutting through tissue, the blade separated the king's head from his body in a single swoop. But before Ren's detached cranium could even hit the cold stone surface of the altar, he suddenly exploded into a cloud of dust - like one did upon dying in this strange, twisted world.
Rendog was killed by Inthelittlewood using [RED WINTER IS COMING].
The smoke immediately entered Martyn's lungs, causing him a coughing fit. Even more tears streaked down his cheeks, which were already red from the chill wind. His head was spinning, he barely kept himself up on his legs. Why would Ren ask him to do that? The immense guilt made him feel sick, almost wanting to throw up. The scent of smoke, blood and cold air entered his mouth, mixing inside of him like poison. He shouldn't have done that, he shouldn't have trusted Ren... It was all his fault... Red Winter's blade clanged against the altar, and as Martyn leaned against the weapon, he could no longer stop himself from crying.
Ren shot up from his bed just a few moments later. He was back inside, back in warmth in safety - but Martyn was still out there, still out in the cold. The king got up, although he almost tripped as his body had to get used to the new form it took upon death. He felt bigger, stronger, more feral. Even more parts of him transformed to take on a more animalistic look. His canine-like teeth hurt in his gums, his bones itched as if they no longer belonged in his body. His skin took on a more grey tint, making him look more like an undead he almost became. He could only hope that Martyn would understand what happened, and would complete the rest of the test... He pulled himself through the door, then went right back to Black Heart Altar. The sight of his beloved knight on his knees, weeping, shaking uncontrollably... It made his heart clench, his throat dry. He needed to go through with the test, but seeing his Hand distraught like that made him doubt whether it'd be worth it.
"Me hand..." he whispered, reaching out his hand. "Martyn... Are you... Okay...?"
"Do you think I'm okay?" He blurted out, his voice hoarse from the cold air and from the tears. "Why... Why did you ask me to do that...?"
"I needed to see whether you trust me... But this is not all, now we gotta-"
" This was your way of testing my trust? Killing you?! Are you kidding?!" Martyn got up from his knees, but almost staggered right back down. "What other sick test are you even thinking of right now?!"
Ren took a deep breath. Maybe he should lay it off, let Martyn rest and recover... Maybe even call it off completely, tell him that he passed...
He couldn't. He had to see it through. Even if it was to kill him.
"Well, me hand... There is one more rule we have to test on this server. If a red attacks yee, yee may attack the red back."
Martyn looked up at him, his vision blurred from the tears. What the hell was he talking about...?
"Do you trust me enough to not attack me if I do... This?"
All of a sudden, Martyn felt a strong slap right on his cold cheek. One of Ren's claws, newly grown from his transformed hand, scratched him and drew a bit of blood. The hit made Martyn recoil back in a pained, betrayed expression. At that point, he felt utterly lost. His hands tensed on the handle of Red Winter anew. The same primal force filled him, making him grab the weapon...
But this time, against his liege's will.
In one strong hit, Martyn smashed the weapon against Ren's head, knocking him down the altar and right on the cold, stone stairs. The pain from the hit, and the even stronger pain of betrayal he suddenly felt - it was too much for his body to contain. Upon realizing what was going to happen, Ren tried pulling himself away, escaping as far as he could, to avoid his friend's confused wrath- But his damaged body was too slow, alas. Another hit pierced through his skull, leaving the snow around the altar in a scarlet red coat of blood.
Rendog was slain by Inthelittlewood using [RED WINTER IS COMING].
Martyn stood over the dead body, waiting for it to turn into smoke again. It didn't. As if to mock him. As if to remind him of what he had just done. But at that point, it was all the same to him. If it was a test, he may as well have passed. The last few tears streaked down his face.
"Did I do it, milord?" he asked in a cold tone of voice.
He spent a few more minutes, staring at his king's corpse, as if waiting for something to happen to it. He had to have a plan for this, right? He wouldn't just let his knight kill him like that, right...? He nudged Ren's body with the weapon. He really was gone, wasn't he... There was another problem already arising, however. And Martyn only realized that as he grabbed Ren's coat and covered himself with it, to keep warm.
Why did he not feel bad for doing that?
Notes:
Also, last upload of 2024! I can't believe I started uploading here on ao3 only, like, 2,5 months ago and I've already met so many amazing people here! And you really seem to enjoy my work - and I thank you for that! I can't promise I'll upload as consistently during 2025, but I'll try my best to keep writing stories you at least like, maybe even love :3
Chapter 5: Long live the king
Summary:
TW: Suicide and suicidal thoughts/behavior. If you need to skip it, it starts after a character says: "Don't trouble yourself. I'll take care of it." and lasts pretty much until the end of the chapter. I'll include a brief, less triggering (hopefully) recap in the end notes.
Martyn is the only soul left at Dogwarts. Upon receiving unexpected guests, he manages to even out some old conflicts.
Notes:
First chapter of 2025! I saw your reactions for the old one and - lemme tell you, it's not gonna get much better. If you wanna hop off for any reasons, your own mental health or anything else, this might be your final chance. This story might get quite dark. I just hope it doesn't border on edgy ^^"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The first two, three days after Ren's death passed without Martyn even realizing they did. He spent most of his time wandering around Dogwarts, not sure what he should do with himself - as if he became completely aimless without his leader he killed with his own hands. The cold wind, which haunted their base before Ren's 'test' lessened, leaving the weather around Dogwarts in a state resembling early spring. Chilly, constantly damp and muddy. The snow, thich set over their fields, melted and mixed with the dirt, leaving all of the pathways covered with earthy sludge. It quickly got all over the brim of Ren's scarlet coat, which Martyn constantly wore - as if a hide of an animal he successfully hunted and slayed. The coat was a bit too long for him, since the king was a few inches taller than his desolate hand. It weighed on his shoulders, quickly making him start to slouch. He even pondered putting on Ren's blood-stained crown - but that seemed like a bit too much. Taking the coat to shield himself from the cold was just enough.
Martyn did not answer any messages he got of Ren's sudden, mysterious death. Aside from walking around Dogwarts, looking for something to do, he resorted to just lying in bed, sitting in the house, thinking and mulling over that one moment he hated himself for. His hands trembled as he remembered the fear he saw in Ren's eyes. The trusting, yet worried stare of his king... The man mentally slapped himself. He could no longer call him 'his king'. He was no longer around. No longer able to guide his knight, who tried and failed to be loyal to him. Maybe that was for the better. If he was dead, he at least couldn't be disappointed in him. There was only one member of Dogwarts left alive to tell the tale. And he'd rather take it to his grave.
Another day was nearing its end as Martyn sat on the wall protecting the empty base. He pulled the coat tightly over himself, as if to not let the slightest bits of wind touch him. He hasn't spoken to anyone since Ren. He stopped eating, obviously not expecting that it'd make things any better. Every time he attempted to rest, he'd be plagued by vivid nightmares, which left him more paranoid and exhausted than how he started. He felt hollow, both physically and mentally. At least nobody bothered to come check up on him... So the only thing he had to fight was the urge to throw himself down the wall, to join his deceased king.
But he wouldn't even join him after that. He'd just turn yellow. And it wouldn't change anything. Wouldn't fix anything.
All of a sudden, the man was disturbed by a distant clang of metal and rustle of leaves. In an instant, he picked himself up and grabbed Red Winter, ready to defend himself from anyone who'd dare to get too close to him. The big, heavy weapon was not something he wielded easily - he'd prefer something lighter, nimbler, ideally possible to carry in one hand. On the other hand, there was something strangely comforting to the weight and sharpness of the giant axe. In a twisted way, it felt as if he was holding Ren by the hand. As much as he wanted to convince himself he hated that idea, he was not ready to let go just yet. Besides, he already had some experience killing with this weapon, so it would be foolish to not make use of that.
"Who's there?" he called out, his voice hoarse and strained from the coldness, which even now cradled him like a frozen embrace. It may have been the first thing he said since asking Ren whether he passed his test.
Despite not getting a clear answer, he quickly noticed two players who were making their way towards the newly repaired gate of Dogwarts. Martyn quietly groaned upon seeing Grian and Scar - the dirty desert hippies, which could easily be blamed for all that occurred. Maybe if it wasn't for them killing Ren, the king wouldn't have gotten the stupid idea of the test... Still holding Red Winter in one hand, Martyn grabbed a crossbow with the other and immediately aimed at Scar's exposed chest. His skin took on a grey color, reminding him of the last time he saw Ren... He shook his head, trying his best not to think about it. One clean shot, and he's out of the game... That was a much more reassuring thought.
"Hi, Martyn!" Grian waved at the man. Seeing the player's cold, sleep deprived expression and the weapons in his hands, he stopped several feet before the gate - and stopped Scar from getting any closer as well. "You okay? You don't look well..."
"I'm feeling great" Martyn muttered, trying to hide how much he was leaning on Red Winter for support. His whole body was ready to give out at that moment. He no longer cared that Scar and Grian could see right through him. He could only hope it'd serve as a warning to them. He may have been exhausted, but that didn't mean he wasn't ready to pounce at them right then and there. "What the hell do you want?"
"Just checkin' up on you!" Scar said with a big, somewhat friendly smile. Martyn tilted his head the other way, observing him with cold curiosity. Like a hunter, observing an animal seconds before attacking. "And, uh, we were hoping you'd tell us... What happened to Ren...?"
In an instant, Martyn shot out from his crossbow. The arrow narrowly avoided hitting Scar's shoulder, instead hitting the ground right behind him. The red player shuddered at the realization that it wasn't just a lucky miss - if Martyn wanted to shoot him right in the face, he would've done that. It was more so a warning shot.
"Next question."
"You can't just avoid that forever, y'know?" Grian pointed out. He wanted to take a step forward, but hesitated as he noticed Martyn loading the crossbow with another arrow. Instead, he withdrew ever so slightly, not wanting to be the next victim of the player who was clearly on edge already. "You broke the rules, you're a green who killed a yellow... And then a red..."
"Ren asked me to kill him." Martyn immediately deflected the accusation. "To go from yellow to red. It was the first half of his test."
"Test...?"
"Ayup. And I passed that part."
"Okay, but... What about the other kill...?"
"He attacked me, to see whether I'd fight back."
Grian and Scar immediately looked at each other in horror. Unless Martyn was bluffing, it gave a pretty grim picture of what just occurred in Dogwarts a few days prior. They could only imagine what actually happened - all they really knew, aside from Martyn's testimony, were the two strange messages they found on chat in the middle of the night. But at that point he had no real reason to lie, right? Unless he knew he broke the rules and wanted to make it seem like something they both planned...
"And...? Did you pass the other part...?"
"Not sure. I'd have to ask him. But I can't, for obvious reasons."
"Riiiight..." Scar grinned in a bitter way. "Listen, Martyn, we have a proposition for you..."
"Last time your proposition ended with my king dying" The man immediately fired back. "I'm not dealing with you scums. Leave, before I'll make you. And one of you will not respawn of that gods forsaken desert of yours."
"What is your problem?!" Grian suddenly blew up at Martyn. That sudden burst of anger awakened something in the man, all of a sudden. As if his previous crime put his mind in a state of lethargy, and witnessing another player's strong emotions towards him just woke him up. He shifted on his legs a little, lowering his crossbow ever so slightly. It was not an inviting gesture, however. He just wanted to see what would happen. Toy with his future prey. "You broke the rules and now you're acting like a total jackass! We just wanna help! We wanted to suggest you join us on the desert!"
Martyn immediately chuckled upon hearing the ridiculous idea.
"You gotta be kiddin' me..."
"No, we don't! Yeah, we may be enemies, but you seem like your own worst enemy at the moment." The short man pointed out. A sly smirk appeared on Martyn's face. He hid Red Winter in his inventory, then proceeded to the edge of the wall and slid down, to join them outside of Dogwarts for the first time in a while.
"You really want to take in a cheater like me?" he chuckled bitterly. The armed crossbow did not leave his hand for even a second, his finger still positioned on the trigger. Scar took a step back, but Grian looked straight into Martyn's eyes. He was not going to back off just yet. Even when the broken knight approached him and put the crossbow right to his chest. "Think about it, Grian..."
"Yes, I am sure. This might be a death game and all, but that doesn't mean we won't help a friend."
The man smiled even wider. He fiddled with the trigger of the crossbow, waiting for any sign of hesitation in Grian's eyes. He really was a stubborn one, wasn't he? Just what he needed.
"Nah... I think one cheater on the desert is enough."
He barely finished the sentence, before suddenly pulling the trigger. The arrow shot right into Grian's heart, point-blank. The impact of the shot was enough for Grian to be killed instantly, too fast for him to even look shocked upon the sudden death. In a matter of seconds, his body exploded into a cloud of white smoke, which immediately surrounded Martyn and Scar.
Grian was shot by Inthelittlewood .
"Martyn!" Scar yelled at the man, barely stopping himself from coughing. He grabbed his sword, ready to attack the man who just killed his teammate. Unphased, the knight just calmly raised his hand as a stopping gesture.
"Don't trouble yourself. I'll take care of it."
When the smoke subsided, Scar immediately noticed that Martyn was already finished loading another arrow into the crossbow. But instead of aiming it at the other desert dweller, he put it up to his own temple. His expression was completely neutral, serene ever. As if he was looking forward to doing it. Scar, in change, looked completely horrified, maybe even more so than if Martyn aimed at him. He'd expect that, he'd try and defend himself... But at that moment, he felt completely powerless.
"Tell your soulmate that I took care of both of the cheaters on the server." He smiled, before pulling the trigger again. In an instant, the arrow shot right through his skull, killing him on the spot.
Inthelittlewood was shot by Inthelittlewood.
Martyn woke up inside of Dogwarts not too long after. Immediately, he sat up on the bed and took a deep breath. His heart was racing after dying just a few moments earlier. He covered his mouth, struggling to calm down his rigid breathing. It's fine, it's okay... I deserved it , he thought to himself, as if that made it even better. He looked down upon his wristband. The fabric strap changed its color from a bright green into a deep, dangerous yellow. He had to dig through several worried, concerned and even angry messages from other players, before he could reread his own death message.
It felt better than it should've... But at least, this one was deserved.
"So? We're even now, my liege?" he asked quietly.
The man pulled himself up. His whole body ached from the sudden death he just experienced. Somehow, it felt as if his exhaustion and his hunger doubled. But at the same time, the guilt over what happened to Ren disappeared... Or, at the very least, he managed to push it aside. So far away, that if he was lucky, maybe he would never have to feel it again. Just have to bottle it up, and never let it bubble to the surface. And if it does... Well, ending himself served as a nice distraction. Not a flawless one, but a really good one. If only dying didn't have such big repercussions... He'd do it again. And again. And again.
"Well, time to finally eat something, I guess... I'm starving" he muttered to himself with an amused expression. Despite still feeling weak in his knees, he pulled himself towards the door. With how many cows they managed to gather and with their fields ready to yield their produce, he was ready for a feast. One worthy of a king of Dogwarts.
Notes:
Recap for if you had to skip the ending: Martyn ends up shooting himself in the head in front of Scar. After respawning, he looks at all the messages that the other players sent after seeing his and Grian's death messages, then gets up to make himself something to eat.
If you have any of your own speculations, ideas, theories etc. about this story lemme know ^^
Chapter 6: Enemy at the gates
Summary:
TW: Alcohol abuse
A few more players come to check up on Martyn. The captain of Dogwarts ultimately gets into a fight he can't win.
Notes:
I really hope you guys are enjoying this story! It's getting less engagement than some of my others, + it's much different than my other stories, but I want to make it work! Also, just a heads up - the next 2-3 chapters will still be 3rd Life, and then we're moving to the next season ^^ (I still need to watch Martyn's Last Life god damnit-)
Chapter Text
"Cheers! To the king of Dogwarts!"
The toast, raised by Martyn, was met with complete silence. Of course there was nobody who'd drink with him at that moment - since its only resident turned yellow, nobody wanted to get even close to the area to check up on him. That left the lonely Hand to drown himself in the sorrow he refused to feel, as well as in alcohol. One of the first things he and Ren did, after they finished building their base, was preparing their fields for harvest and setting up a few kegs in the cellar. The cider made from local apples was not quite ready, but it was good enough for Martyn to stop himself from thinking. He took another sip straight from the bottle, then banged it against the wooden table and took his spot on the throne-like chair - one that was once Ren's.
"No, no... I shouldn't call myself the king... That'd be rude." He chuckled to himself, then looked down the table. There were a few colorful sets of leather armor set on the chairs, as if to imitate actual people spending time with him. "Dogwarts already had a king, even if he was... Short lived," He snorted at his own joke, "I can be the... The captain! Ha! What are we thinkin', boys?"
Yet again, no answer. Still better than denial. Another bottle popped open. The man had lost the count a long time, so as long as he could keep on going, he was going to.
"Captain Martyn... That sounds good." A relaxed, drunken grin appeared on his face as he reached over towards the table. Most of their harvested vegetables, the meat from their cows and the rest of the half-finished alcohol laid before him, as the only person who could still make use of them. He couldn't care less that he and everyone on this server still participated in a literal death game. To him, it was all the same without his king. So, he might as well indulge a little... Until a realization hit him, and it made him shift on his spot. He groaned and hit himself on the temple. "Stop thinking about him, you idiot... He was stupid for putting trust in you... Ugh, whatever!" He groaned and grabbed another bottle, to fix his soured mood.
As the man fidgeted with the cork to open the bottle, a group of players was approaching Dogwarts. Led by Cleo with the rest of the Crastle alliance, together with the "filthy desert hippies", Skizz and Jimmy, who left his flower husband back in their valley. Quite a big group, if push came to shove and they had to defend themselves. But they weren't here to fight. At least it wasn't their first choice.
"Is it even worth it?" Tango rolled his eyes as they walked up the hill. His hot hooves left deep imprints on the snow, melting it around the edges. "C'mon, if we don't bother with him now, it'll be easier to kill him later..."
"We don't know that." Cleo pointed out. "For all we know, this guy could be arming up for the endgame... Where the hell did you even get him from, Grian?"
"We go way back... He's always been a jerk, but this is a new level for him," Grian rolled his eyes. "Didn't expect him to actually break the rules..."
"Yeah, especially after you did." Jimmy pointed out with a smirk.
"I didn't- I mean- You guys are never gonna let it go, right?" the man groaned, then looked to his side.
Scar did not seem affected by the conversation. Was he even listening? Sometimes, he envied the man's ability to zone out and just enjoy life as it was. He had no idea what was going on behind these red eyes of his - whether he hated Grian that he killed him, even if by accident, or if he was glad they ended up sticking together. He quietly sighed and rolled his eyes. Maybe he should learn that from him.
Day 14 of living in Dogwarts alone. Or maybe 16? Fuck it, I stopped counting. Doesn't even matter.
Nobody's bothering me anymore. Good. They know what happened to Ren and Grian, so they wouldn't dare disturb me now. And I'm having a great time! Nobody's telling me what to do and I can spend the whole day not thinking about what's going to happen to me tomorrow! Maybe I should've killed him long ago-
Martyn smashed the journal shut and tossed it away. He didn't truly think that, did he? He didn't actually think that about the only man who was nice to him on this whole server, right? On the other hand, would he trade this little bit of freedom he gained for getting him back? He slumped in his chair, looking at the notebook with a lost expression. His own head and his body felt foreign to him. Maybe due to all the alcohol in his system, or his full stomach, or the thick coat of the previous king which he refused to take off, even when it made him uncomfortably warm. He just stayed like that for several long seconds, pondering whether it was worth it to move.
Until, all of a sudden, he heard a loud knock on Dogwarts' gates. Immediately, he sprang up from his chair - which was a mistake, when his head immediately started spinning and almost caused him to fall over. He cussed under his breath, pulling himself to the door with far less energy than what he expected to have at that moment.
"What the hell do they want..." He groaned, then approached the closed gate. He cleared his throat, then yelled loud enough for people on the other side to hear him. "Get the hell outta here!"
"Martyn, we're here to talk!" Someone called back. The man did not recognize the voice, especially being in the state he was in at that moment. Must've been one of the players he never had a proper chance to meet.
"Talk to me? Or to my king?"
"Very funny." This time, Martyn recognized Grian. A big grin immediately appeared on his face.
"Oh, Grian, my man! Who's there with you?"
The half-parrot looked back at his companions. They were going to talk either way, so there was probably no difference in Martyn knowing who came... He took a deep breath.
"Me, Scar, Skizz, Jimmy and all of the Crastle people. I mean Impulse, Tango, Cleo and Bdubs. Can you open the gates?"
"Hell nah... Unless you wanna join the greatest kingdom on this server!" Martyn chuckled, then approached one of the ladders leading up the wall. He wanted to believe Grian, but he had to take a look himself. Why would this many people come to check on him? Was it a trap? Last time, he easily managed to overpower two people - so eight came back instead?
He managed to pull himself up to the top of the wall, then looked down at the players way down under him. Out of them, he only really knew Grian, Skizz, Jimmy and Scar. He never really had a good chance to meet the other four - only saw them in passing, and briefly advertise Renchanting to them. But that didn't matter anymore. Renchanting was done, before it even had a chance to get off the ground. Immediately, a thought popped into his already heavy head.
"Are you here for the enchanter?" he asked, taking a few wobbly steps towards the edge. The players looked up at him quite confused, but also worried for his state. None of them would even think that the man could've gotten drunk. "Cuz if so, you're not getting it!"
"What?- No, we don't want your stupid enchanter!" Grian answered right away in a stern tone.
"Told ya he's a lost cause." Tango rolled his eyes, his long tail flickering behind him. "Hey, if we kill him now, we could snatch the enchanter-"
"No, we're not taking the enchanter-"
"Hey, not fair!" Scar suddenly spoke up "I wanted to take the enchanter!"
"Why you? We could make use of the enchanter back at the Crastle!"
"Ooooh, so you do want my enchanter?" Martyn smirked, sitting down on the wall. It was just a bit too tiring for him to stay upright, so this position was much more comfortable - despite how cold the stone surface was.
"No, we don't want your enchanter!" Grian called out.
"We don't?" Bdubs asked all of a sudden.
"Oh my gods- All of you, shut up!" The parrot yelled at them, then pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is not about the enchanter! We wanted to ask about you, Martyn! You've been acting strange since Ren..." He stopped for a moment, thinking over what to say next. Despite his brain working a bit slower thanks to all the alcohol, Martyn picked up on his hesitation.
"Was killed? By me?" He chuckled. He sounded almost proud of himself. "What a fool, trusted me out of everyone... Ha! He had it coming."
"You don't actually think that, do you...?" Jimmy asked, his tone a bit timid. He could see there was something very wrong with his friend, but he couldn't quite pinpoint the issue.
"What's the difference? I rule Dogwarts now, as the rightful captain!" he called out. He tried getting up, but the dizziness made him halt in his effort. Falling from the wall didn't seem like a good option, especially in front of so many players. "And if you don't wanna join me, or kill me, then get the hell out of here!"
"Y'know what, the second option feels really tempting right now." Cleo muttered, pulling out their sword.
"Wait, wait wait wait, hold up!" Jimmy immediately opposed the idea and took a few steps towards the gates. "Martyn, can we just... Talk?"
"Sure, whatever, Tim..."
The half-canary took a deep breath, struggling to keep his emotions at bay. The worry for his friend, who's been acting strangely ever since they got on the server. The annoyance with his cocky, dismissive nature. The anger he directed at himself, for not being able to help, for not knowing the right words. It took him a moment, but he ultimately opened his mouth again.
"You remember Evo? We were friends, weren't we?"
"Evo?" Martyn scrunched his nose. That name rang a bell in his head... But for whatever reason, he couldn't remember a single thing connected to it. As if all of his memories aside from the one he made during the game were cut off from him. Should he pretend that he remembers? Or did he not give a damn about that? He just rolled his eyes and laid his back on the freezing cold stones. "Were we?"
"We were... Wait, you don't- You don't remember Evo?" Jimmy's voice suddenly sounded hollow and even more confused. He looked back at Grian, who seemed just as confused. The canary immediately turned to him. "Grian, what's going on? You're running this game; You didn't wipe anyone's memories, right?"
"No, of course not! If I did, you wouldn't remember Evo either!"
"Right... Then what's going on...?" Jimmy bit the edge of his lip, trying to think of a solution.
"This is a waste of time..." Cleo sighed. "He's clearly lost his mind. Or he's drunk. Or both."
"Drunk?" Grian chuckled in an almost offended manner. "This is a proper, PG server! We don't have any alcohol here!"
"Hey Martyn! Are you drunk?" Impulse called out to him all of a sudden. The captain pulled himself up to a sitting position, glaring down at Impulse with a death stare.
"I ain't sharin' with you." He growled in answer. That caused a burst of laughter from Impulse, Tango, Skizz and Bdubs. The other players stared at one another with confusion.
"At least now we know why he doesn't remember this... Evo thing..." Cleo sighed, looking back at the man sitting above them.
"No, there's gotta be a different explanation! He wouldn't just straight up forget about a different server, on which we lived on for months - right?" Jimmy asked, his tone still hopeful that they could find a way to help Martyn. Even if he clearly didn't want to be helped. He stepped closer to the gates. A bit too close - Martyn pulled himself up and grabbed a crossbow from his inventory.
"Back off. Now." He said in a serious, stern tone.
"Not until you get down here and talk to us!"
Martyn looked over Jimmy, slowly formulating a plan in his brain. He could easily shoot him from up where he was sitting, and Jimmy didn't even look like he would fight. And he was on red... That'd be a perfect way to eliminate this man. Too annoying... Martyn was aware they went way back. But for some reason, he wasn't able to force any thought on how they met before. And for some reason, it really didn't feel like the alcohol was to blame.
"Over my dead body."
"Martyn! We wanna help you! But we won't help unless you let us in-"
In an instant, the crossbow fired. Even while drunk, Martyn's aim was good - maybe a bit too good. The arrow ended up hitting Jimmy right in the throat. The man choked on his own blood, as he dropped down on the ground.
"Jimmy!" Grian immediately ran up to his friend and grabbed him by the hand - but it was too late. Light left Jimmy's eyes, as a message popped up on chat.
Solidarity was slain by Inthelittlewood.
"Holy shit..." Martyn chuckled in disbelief. He was half in shock, half in terror at his own action. He just ended up eliminating another player. And worst of all, he didn't feel any remorse for it. Again... At least until he felt the gate shake under him, as someone attacked it with an axe.
"That's it, we're dragging your ass out of there!" Skizz suddenly yelled, attempting to smash down the door. "You're goin' with us, mister!"
"Shit..." the captain jumped down the wall, landing not as gracefully as he previously could. Immediately, he scrambled up and ran towards the house - as if that was his best option to hide. He could arm himself, at least... But would he fend off seven other people, half of whom were on yellow or even green? Probably not, especially since he could barely keep himself stable on his own two feet... Still, he managed to shut the doors behind himself just as Skizz and Impulse broke through the gates. He grabbed his journal from the ground, then hid it under his coat. He didn't think of discarding it, despite it slowing him down considerably.
"Come here, Martyn!" Scar called out. The man could clearly see him passing by the window, as he curled up in the corner of the house.
He had to defend himself... Where did he leave Red Winter? He was nowhere to be seen... He hid his nose in the fur around the coat's collar, trying to think. He must've left it down in their basement, where he went to sharpen the weapon... But that meant he had to leave the house, as the only entrance was from outside. Still with hesitation and the slightest hint of guilt plaguing his mind, he got up and approached the door.
He wasn't even sure how he managed to sneak around the players unnoticed. That's what he believed, at least. None of them looked at him, even if his attempts to stay quiet fell short. In his mind, he cursed himself for letting himself get too drunk and out of whack. But he had a chance to make it up to himself- Make it up to Ren... By heroically dying in defense of Dogwarts. That one thought kept him company as he approached the entrance to the basement, then started frantically looking for Red Winter.
The giant battle axe laid against a grindstone, right where Martyn left her. With that weapon, he could easily overpower and kill everyone who got in... And considering that Skizz, Cleo and Scar were on red, he'd have an easy time eliminating them. He already eliminated two players; what's three more? He grabbed the weapon, yet again struggling with its weight. He should do something about it, make it more suitable to his own abilities... He almost punched himself for that thought. It was Ren's weapon. Would he dare disrespect his king's weapon?- Why wouldn't he...?
Deep in thought, he didn't even hear someone's quiet steps approaching him. By the time he noticed that something was wrong, his impaired instincts fired off too slow for him to attack. One strong, blunt hit to his temple was enough to knock his light out. The man fell on the ground, a bit of blood pouring out of his nose from the impact.
"Sorry, buddy... I would've joined you guys." Skizz sighed and put his sword away. He did not want to kill Martyn, despite having full rights to do that as a red. Instead, he opted for hitting Martyn with the flat of the blade - and that was enough to leave him unconscious. He carefully lifted the messed up man in his arms, then headed towards the other players. "Let's see what we're gonna do with you..."
Chapter 7: Catch, release, catch again
Summary:
TW: Mentions of decomposing body parts
Martyn gets captured and imprisoned by the Sandlanders. He gets incredibly close to regaining his freedom.
Notes:
I swear, this was supposed to be a short chapter, yet I think it turned out to be one of the longest xd Still, I hope you guys enjoy it! Yet again Martyn being a slimy little shit
Btw, if you have any questions or theories, or just anything you noticed, leave them in the comments - I love reading what you guys think!
Chapter Text
Upon waking up, Martyn was immediately hit with a wave of migraine, as well as dry, hot air surrounding him. He groaned in pain, putting his hand on his temple to hopefully quell the throbbing pain. He barely remembered what happened before he was knocked out. He remembered feasting at Dogwarts, before the other players came and attacked him... Unprovoked, of course. And he failed to defend himself, somehow... He no longer felt Red Winter in his hands, and the familiar scent of the heavy scarlet coat of the king also left him. He jerked up to a sitting position, but immediately laid back down the moment his head started spinning.
"Ugh... Sod it..." He groaned in frustration. The hot air was scratching his throat in a painful manner. It took him a moment to start considering what happened. "Wait, the air... Am I on the desert...?"
"My best knight, taken by the enemy?" An amused chuckle crossed the room. Immediately, Martyn sat up again and started looking around. His surroundings seemed blurry and unfamiliar, but the voice... He knew that voice, he knew it all too well not to recognize it...
"My liege?" He asked quietly. "But you're... You're..."
Ren, indeed, sat there on the other edge of the room - with Red Winter still stuck in his skull, blood streaking down his face. The coat was draped over his shoulders, obscuring his silhouette. That image sent Martyn's mind into a frenzy in an instant. He's alive- How? He died, from Martyn's hands, he was the one to end and then bury him- How could this happen? He didn't even have a proper response in his head. He just stared at Ren, his blue eyes meeting the king's red, shining in a way no dead person's would.
"What? You wanna say I'm dead?" Red King teased, his tone turning into almost a growl. "You made sure of that, didn't you, me laddie?"
"I- I..." Martyn bit his lip and smacked himself on the head. "No, this is not true... I killed you! I took over Dogwarts and ruined everything we built! You shouldn't- you can't be here!"
He watched in horror as Ren grabbed the weapon and pulled it out of his skull - and then got up from his spot, as if it was nothing. He took a step towards the terrified knight. Martyn backed off as much as he could, his back tightly pressed against the warm, sandstone wall.
"Get lost! Leave me alone!"
"I'm only trying to help, me laddie... To get you to join me."
The strong scent of blood and rot filled the room, almost suffocating Martyn. As Ren moved and his cloak shifted, Martyn could see how his body looked half-rotten underneath - with his bones exposed, muscles decaying and dried skin covering the remnants of his clothe. The man froze in fear as he saw Ren raise the weapon over his head. He could do it with such ease, that his Hand could never even dream of... He covered his face, as if desperately trying to save himself.
"Don't do it!"
As Martyn was about to be struck down, a familiar, falling sensation shook his whole body - which immediately woke him up from his nightmare. The sudden motion sent him falling from a hard bed he was laying on. As he hit the rough, hot, sandstone floor, he could feel all his bones hurting from his previous overexertion. The migraine was not just a figment of his imagination - even outside of his restless sleep, it hit him like a TNT minecart. The headache, mixed in with the nausea he just started experiencing, gave him the full nasty hangover experience from the get go. He groaned and reached his arms out, trying to reach for some kinda weapon to defend himself. There was nothing, however - just a thin layer of sand which covered the floor, and immediately started sticking to Martyn's skin. So he really was at the desert, wasn't he?
It took him a while to collect his strength and finally pull himself up, and grasp his situation. He was stuck in a pretty small room, most likely underground - judging by the heavy air and lack of windows. The only thing of note was the bed he just fell from. Just like in his dream, his coat and Red Winter were gone - just like most of Martyn's inventory. How did they even take it away from him? He took a few steps around the room, immediately scheming for some kind of escape. He couldn't just let himself rot in the desert hippies' prison, right? Upon noticing a door made of metal bars, he immediately lunged himself at it, trying to barge it open with his shoulder. It only resulted in him bouncing off with a loud groan of pain, and a surge of pain through his whole body. The doors loudly rattled on the impact, and right away, Martyn could hear someone's footsteps approaching him. He grabbed the door and continued to shake the door.
"Let me out!" He yelled. "You dirty rats! You can't keep me here!"
"Hey, you're awake!" He heard a voice of one of the players less familiar to him. It wasn't Ren, at least... So he really was gone, wasn't he? Right away, Martyn shook his head and grabbed the bars with enough force to turn his knuckles white. On the other side, he noticed Impulse - a tall, large player, equipped with a bow and holding an iron sword in his hand. He looked rather friendly, if it wasn't for the weapons at his disposal. "How are ya? Martyn, right? It's a pretty awkward meeting, but at least you look better than you did back then!"
"You..." Martyn growled, reaching his hands as far as he could through the bars. "Why did you take me? Let me out right now!"
"No, sorry buddy... Grian's orders. He said you're a danger to everyone and to yourself. So, this is a timeout for you. And he asked me to keep an eye on you."
"Dirty dog..." Martyn groaned. "You come to my kingdom, you attack me, kill me, and-"
Only then, the captain's sight landed on his wristband. He stopped flailing his hands and looked at the strap, still colored a bright, sunny yellow. So they didn't kill him...? If they did, he would've been on red now. But somehow, they kept him alive despite everything...
"Why am I not red?" He asked, the disbelief clear in his voice as his tone dropped significantly. "Why did you spare me? I killed Jimmy- Why did you not kill me in return?"
"Okay, I'll be honest, Scott voted to kill you... But Grian and Scar wanted to take you alive. Don't ask me why." Impulse just shrugged. He leaned against the wall on the opposite side of the hall from Martyn, then slid down to sit on the floor. "They left, and asked me to make sure you're not tryna get out... How are you feeling?"
"Take me alive? Why? And where did they go?"
"I don't know, man!" The man chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Pretty sure they didn't tell me, so that I wouldn't tell you..."
That comment did not help Martyn in the slightest - instead, it just made his suspicions even worse. He sat on the ground in front of the door, resting his burning hot forehead against the cold metal. As much as he hated the desert, it was at least warmer than the snow-covered Dogwarts. And he was already getting sick of the cold.
"They didn't tell you, because they didn't want me to know... That means they're probably doing something they know I wouldn't like." He murmured to himself, thinking over what could possibly be happening on the server. "Which means it probably has to do something with Dogwarts, and they don't want me to get there and stop them... Wait, where's Red Winter?"
"Huh? Oh, you mean the axe? I've got it here." Impulse reached over and grabbed the axe, still as pristine and sharp as when Martyn last saw her. Immediately, he lunged himself at the door again, desperately trying to grab it. "Hold on! I know what you're tryna do, mister! You want to get to this so that you can break out of here! Not on my watch!"
"What? No, of course not!" Martyn immediately went on the defensive. Impulse didn't know him that well - and he planned to use it for his advantage. He pulled up his sleeve and looked at the man. "Look at my noodle arms, you think I can even wield this thing? It has a purely sentimental value!"
Impulse looked up at the prisoner, at his pleading expression. Indeed, he didn't look all that threatening, especially when unarmed... He may have witnessed him shooting down Jimmy - but would he actually be dangerous without his crossbow, without his high ground, while incapacitated from his hangover? Probably not... But he could still be dangerous in other ways. As far as he heard from Grian, he was a real schemer, one to always try and trick people. But his tricks alone would not get him out, right? The man looked down at the axe in his hand. It was a good, sturdy weapon... In the hands of a person who knew how to use it, it'd be incredibly deadly. Martyn for sure had the knowledge - but did he have the strength? The man leaned over on the weapon, looking at the prisoner.
"Why did you kill Ren?"
"What are you, tryna interrogate me?" Martyn groaned and rolled his eyes.
"Yes." He nodded. Grian's warning to not get into a discussion with Martyn clearly did not stick with him.
"He asked me to..." The man pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He averted his eyes from Impulse, as if in shame. "He asked me to kill him..."
"Wait, really...?" Impulse's face softened a little.
"Yeah... He called it a test... He wanted to get down to red, and convince me to kill him... And..." He sniffled, despite his eyes being completely dry. "Then, right after respawning, he attacked me... I-I had to defend myself!"
"Oh man... You poor thing..." Impulse moved ever so slightly closer. "I know Ren can be a little dramatic, but... To this point? Why did he even ask you to kill him?"
"I- I don't know... He just said it was a test, but... Who in their right mind would willingly go down to red...?"
Behind his back, Martyn crossed his fingers. It was so much easier than he expected... He just had to stall for a little longer. And hope that, wherever the other players were, they weren't coming back anytime soon.
"I- I don't know... He tricked me, and then tried taking me down with him, I guess... Ugh, I was so stupid..." Martyn muttered and hid his face in his knees. A bitter feeling immediately entered his mouth. Usually he had no problems with lying - so why did talking like this about Ren leave him feeling sick in the stomach? It was like talking badly about a long time friend behind his back... But he and Ren weren't friends. They just met at the start of this game. Right?
"So... Why do you want the axe...?"
"It, um... It makes me feel safer... Without it, I wouldn't have been able to defend myself from him..."
Impulse tilted his head, and looked down at the weapon away. It was all starting to make sense to him.
"So... It's all a big misunderstanding...? What about Grian? Why did you kill him? And then yourself?"
"I..." He bit his lip and sniffled again, to buy himself a few more moments to think about it. A devious idea entered his mind. "Oh, he didn't tell you?"
"No...?"
"He's right, me and him, we go way back... He hates my guts..." Martyn chuckled and wiped a non-existent tear from his cheek. "He came with Scar to mock me, and wanted Scar to kill me... I only killed him to defend myself... As for the other kill, I... I didn't want Scar to kill me, and I had nowhere to run... So I did the next best thing, and-"
Martyn's head perked up as he noticed Impulse approaching the door. He moved a little, as he realized that the man grabbed the axe to hand it to him over the iron bars. His breathing hitched. No way that worked...
"Here... If that makes you feel better..." The other man sighed and helped him grab the weapon. The captain caught Red Winter and pulled it to himself - in the process making it look like he struggled under the weight of the weapon. Truth he told, he did, but nowhere near as much as he made it out to be. He sat on the floor and hugged the weapon like a comfort plushie.
"Thanks... Do you also have the cape somewhere? It helped me not freeze in Dogwarts..." Martyn chuckled bitterly.
"I'm pretty sure I saw it here somewhere... Hold up, okay? I'll look for it..."
The moment Impulse left towards a deeper part of the basement, Martyn immediately got up from the floor. It was almost too easy... He looked down at his implement, then grabbed it in a similar way in which he once beheaded his king.
"What an idiot..." He chuckled under his breath.
It only took him two, maybe two hits directed at the hinges to break them. He kicked down the door, which banged against the floor with a loud rattle. Loud enough to alarm Impulse, most likely - but at that point, it didn't matter. Right away, he took a sharp turn towards the stairs leading up.
"Hey!"
He heard Impulse's voice on the other side of the hall, as well as his quick footsteps. It didn't matter - Martyn was faster, nimbler, and better equipped... He didn't even have to bother with him, but in case they clashed, he could easily overpower him. He sprinted up the stairs, dragging the weapon behind him. He could see the exit, his one way out... He could escape, get back to Dogwarts, defend his kingdom from these filthy desert hippies, avenge Ren...
"I'm only trying to help, me laddie!"
Ren's voice rang in his ears, making his throat dry, his stomach drop and his sweaty hands almost drop his weapon. It was no longer a dream - why could he still hear him? He groaned and punched himself on the forehead, not stopping for even a moment to breathe. It didn't matter, Ren was dead, he was alone and on his own... And he had to get out, the sooner, the better... Without even thinking, he kicked down the door, ready to run outside-
Before, right in front of the door, he came upon Scar and Grian.
The desert dwellers were clearly surprised to see him. Martyn's mind went completely blank at that moment. That was some horrible timing... His grip on Red Winter tensed.
"You-" Grian opened his mouth, but didn't even finish the sentence, as a wave of piercing pain surged through Martyn's back.
"Got him!" Impulse sighed in relief. The captain felt his mouth fill with blood, after it only took the other player one shot to get him right in the back and through his chest. He looked at Grian in shock and fear, and before he could even take a single step forward more, he dropped on the ground.
Inthelittlewood was shot by ImpulseSV.
Upon waking up, Martyn was fully prepared to find himself back in Dogwarts. Instead, he was yet again hit with the dry air of the desert. He was right in his little prison cell - this time however, the entrance was blocked shut with sandstone, only leaving him a small hole to peek outside. Red Winter laid on the ground, together with the crimson cloak and... Martyn's journal. The man shot up from the bed, his whole back immediately burning in pain. He wanted to scream in anger, in hopelessness, in pain - but not a single sound escaped his mouth. Instead, his eyes immediately filled with tears. His head was full of loud static, making it impossible for him to think. How could he lost again? How could he let himself get trapped again? After a few more deep, empty breaths, Martyn dropped down on the bed. He was on the verge of breaking down at that point. Unable to think, to fight, to get out... All he could do was-
He looked down on the ground. Red Winter and the king's cloak no longer gave him the same level of security he pretended to, in front of Impulse. Even with the strongest weapon on the server, he was useless... He reached over to the journal and grabbed it, then hugged it against his chest. If he was stuck, there was only one thing left for him to do. Something he should've done a long time ago.
Chapter 8: Allied, unfortunately
Summary:
TW: Suicidal thougts and actions
Despite everything, Martyn finally makes an alliance. However, he already knows how this one is going to end.
Notes:
Sorry it took so long, I had a lot of work to do lately - and I can tell you already, until February, you can expect me to disappear like that, because I have a ton of work for a few different zines, as well as college to try and not fail. Still, I hope you'll enjoy this one :3
Chapter Text
I'm a monster. A monster, a fraud, a fiend. I can never tell anyone, but at least I can write about it.
I hurt Ren. Maybe I do regret it. I don't even know him, but he was nice to me. And what did he get in return? An axe to his skull. I just hope that whenever he is now, he forgives me. And he no longer has to think about me. I don't deserve such mercy.
Now I'm trapped by the desert hippies. They will probably leave me to starve here. Or to just end myself. Why else would they leave me Red Winter? They must be waiting for me to finish the job. I hate them. I hate Grian, I hate Scar, I hate Impulse, I hate all of them. But there's one person I hate more.
Martyn had to stop writing, as the paper was starting to get wet and his vision got blurry. For the first few hours spent in his confinement, he couldn't stay calm for even a moment. He circled the room, punching the walls until his knuckles started bleeding. Of course he couldn't just punch through sandstone, but the pain that it brought him soothed his worries, even if for a second and not in a very healthy manner. At some point, he just curled up on the bed and started mindlessly doodling in his journal. Only after that, he began actually writing. It was a bad idea, however - coming to terms with his feelings and action gave him this strong, hopeless ache in his chest that he couldn't do anything about it.
He looked down at Red Winter, lying peacefully on the sand. Oh, to be a weapon, who can slash and kill with no signs of remorse... He was a Hand, however. He could wield a weapon, but he'd feel the blood it sprayed on his own skin. He'd feel the fleeting warmth of a body that just let out its last breath. He could reach out in search of someone who wanted to hold him - but there was nobody to find him. Maybe it'd be better this way.
An idea crossed his mind, as he reached out and grabbed the handle. His hands ached at any movement, the dry blood clots on his knuckles cracking and opening again. The dull pain made it even more difficult for him to wield the heavy weapon. Did he deserve to join Ren? Did he deserve a swift death, one that would take him away from this wicked place? Or should he be delivered a fate of a long, slow, grueling perish. His reflection in the blade of the weapon wore signs of exhaustion and pain, both mental and physical. He looked dirty, sick even. Unworthy of dying with dignity. He carefully turned the weapon, putting the blade against his stomach. Ready to cut through the fabric of the clothes, and then the soft skin.
Before he could commit to the act however, Martyn perked up his head as he heard someone's footsteps and whispers coming from the stairs. Someone was coming... For him, maybe?
"My lord?" He asked faintly, not even sure why the deceased king was his first guess.
"I'm telling you, G, I can deal with him!"
"No, Scar, you're both red... You're gonna end up killing each other. I'm going there with you."
"Wonderful." Martyn rolled his eyes. They were talking about him, that's for sure. Fine, maybe he did crave company, he craved to have someone close to talk to, to be comforted, to be told he's not a monster. But he'd never confess that to anyone - let alone these filthy Sandlanders. "What do you want, you idiots?"
"We just wanna talk, Martyn." Grian's voice echoed in the hall.
"Through the wall? What, you're scared of me? C'mon in!"
"You're gonna attack us, aren't you?"
"What? Nooo, of course not..." The captain chuckled. He put one hand on his stomach, while the other he kept on Red Winter's handle. "Come on, get in... I don't bite..."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Grian snarked back.
"Well, I think he'll be more likely to join us if we treat him nicely, won't he?" Scar suggested, and he was immediately answered with Martyn's loud, bitter laughter.
"Me? Join you? Hah!" The man snickered. "Over my cold dead body!"
"Y'know what, we can leave you here, and you'll starve or somethin'..." Grian shrugged. "And you're gonna miss out on all the blood and carnage! You really want that, dude?"
Martyn silently pondered the man's words. Withering away in an underground dungeon while everyone else went to war did not seem like a nice prospect. And after everything that's happened, he needed to blow off some steam, throwing himself straight into the action. Ultimately, he rolled his eyes and groaned quietly.
"Okay, okay... We can talk about this. But you're getting in. And fetch me something to eat, will ya?"
"Fine... Scar, go get him something, okay?"
"You sure you wanna stay with him in there?"
"I'll be fine... Just go."
The captain pulled himself from the bed. The high temperature, in combination with his hunger, made his head spin a little. Despite that, he stood proudly in the middle of his little cell, awaiting Grian with a cocky expression plastered over his face. He didn't flinch when the sandstone covering the wall started to crumble under the other player's pickaxe. He was going to assert dominance right away; even if he was the prisoner, he was far from helpless.
Grian broke through the wall and looked up at Martyn right away, awaiting the red player to attack him right away. He didn't, somehow - the way he stared at Grian made him think that he was probably trying to intimidate him. His attempt went pretty poorly. It was almost sad to look at him in sucha pitiful shape - his clothes still sprayed with blood, his eyes red and sunken, almost looking like he just cried; his hair messy and dirty, his hands trembling ever so slightly under the weight of Red Winter in his arms. And he didn't seem aware of his current state.
"You okay...?" The half-parrot asked, trying to sound friendly. His attempt was met with Martyn's scoff.
"Why do you care?"
"We're friends, aren't we? Back in Evo, and-"
"Not you too... I don't remember any of this stuff you're talking about! I don't know why all of you guys care so much, we just met!" In an instant, the blade of the axe landed right in front of Grian's throat. His breathing hitched for a moment from the shock.
"We- What? You don't... What happened, dude? You really don't remember?"
"Why aren't you scared of me? I killed Ren and Jimmy, I can do the same to you." He growled quietly, more so in a self-defense manner, over actually wanting to attack Grian. If he scared him off, he wouldn't risk his supposed 'friend' getting too close. Both physically and metaphorically.
"You won't. I know you, Martyn. You're not like this."
"What do you mean? You have no idea what I'm capable of!" He laughed yet again, his tone full of bitter malice. "Let me go, and maybe I'll spare you when push comes to shove."
"Hey guys!" Both of them turned towards the entrance as they heard Scar approaching them. "I got us all some steak and golden carrots! Anyone hungry?"
"I'll be fine." Martyn rolled his eyes.
That was an obvious lie, but he was not in a position nor mood to show any weakness. Despite that, the moment Scar approached him, he grabbed one of the carrots and sunk his teeth into it like a hungry wolf. Grian let out a soft sigh of relief, then both him and Scar sat next to the newly opened entrance. Martyn took his spot on the bed, not even paying them any mind as he demolished the carrot in his hands. The metallic taste of the gold reminded him of blood ever so briefly - but he quickly pushed the thought away, to not make himself throw up from the realization.
"You sure we wanna work with him?" Scar whispered to Grian. It wasn't so quiet that Martyn couldn't hear them - but he clearly didn't care about the desert hippies scheming against him.
"Yes, I'm sure... There's something wrong, and I need to figure this out..." Grian hummed, then raised his head a little. "So, uh, Martyn..."
"Can I have another one?" He asked, his voice almost pleading. The Sandlanders looked at each other, then Scar handed the captain another carrot. He didn't devour that one with even half as much ferocity, but he clearly needed it. "Thanks."
"So, uh... We wanted to ask you for a temporary alliance," The parrot confessed in a serious, yet calm tone of voice, "As allying with the Crastle people went... Poorly."
"Tell me about it." Martyn chuckled and rolled his eyes. "What have they done to make them worse than me?"
"Well, we decided to go check on you as a group... And after trapping- I mean, capturing you, we were supposed to plunge Dogwarts together. But they kinda turned their back on us and claimed the place for themselves."
Martyn snickered, clearly amused by the realization.
"Told you it's the greatest kingdom on the server! Even when it's empty!" He laughed it off.
"And here's where you come in... You know Dogwarts better than anyone. We, Skizz, BigB and Etho want to take down the Crastle guys for good. And if you join us, Dogwarts will be all yours again when we recapture it."
"And why would I want it?" Martyn asked, which left Grian stumped for a moment.
"Excuse me?"
"I killed my king. I don't have anyone or anything to come back to." He said in a cold, almost uncaring tone, while his mouth was full from the carrot. "You're gonna turn your backs on me the moment I finish the job, right?"
Grian bit his lip. That was a possibility they considered, especially since they were sure Martyn would turn on them first - if he ever even agreed to this plan to begin with. This was a death game, after all. Kill or be killed. And in all honesty, keeping their enemy alive was already a sign of mercy. Maybe more than I even deserve , the captain thought while finishing the second carrot. He wouldn't dare ask for another one, even if he could tell he needed it.
"I'm in." He ultimately said and got up from his spot. It made both Scar and Grian flinch in surprise and look at each other, then at him.
"Really?" Scar tilted his head in surprise.
"Yes. And don't look at me like that, geez! You guys are actual idiots." Martyn rolled his eyes and approached the entrance to his cell. His journal ended up in his pocket, as he still didn't trust them enough to see it. "Just let me out, will ya? I hate being stuck in here like this, I need some fresh air."
"You're not gonna run away, mister?" Scar asked, getting up and grabbing his sword. Martyn stared at him with a blank, tired expression.
"I told you already. I have nowhere to run. Let me out."
Ultimately, Scar took a step back to let Martyn go outside. The captain took a few careful steps into the hallway, as if expecting it to be trapped - even if there were no signs of any foul play from the Sandlanders. Slowly, he approached the stairs and started climbing them towards the surface. No longer as an escapee, fearing that he might be caught or killed at any moment. Despite that, despite being closer to freedom than ever, it made him feel sick. If he only could, he'd return to his cell and rot in there.
But it was not the time. If he could avenge his king, the one he mercilessly killed, then so be it.
Martyn spent the rest of the afternoon and evening outside, noting down ideas for their impending attack the next day. Every so often, he caught himself staring at Dogwarts far in the distance. The kingdom was no longer empty, under the Crastle's control - but this one time, he really wished it was. He wondered whether they discovered Ren's body, buried under Black Heart Altar. Whether they actually stole the enchanter - the one thing that started everything. Not as if he had any rights to the enchanter, nor the castle. He was not the king. Usurper, at best. A monster, who was going to lead his unfortunate allies into either a great victory, or a great loss. And no matter what was going to happen, he only had one request he couldn't yet ask the desert hippies for.
"Well hello there!" Martyn flinched as Scar's voice dinged over his head. He looked up from his spot, an expression of frustration clear on his face.
"What do you want, Scar?" He groaned. "Go away, before I eliminate you, too."
"You wouldn't! We're allies, right?"
"I killed my one and only ally. You should be scared of me."
"But I'm not. I guess being red messed with me." He confessed in an amused manner. "You can feel it too, can't you?"
"I..." Martyn sighed and hung his head. Scar took a spot next to him - the captain didn't even have the strength to tell him off. "I guess... I'm surprised you haven't turned on Grian yet... And he hasn't on you..."
"Oh, he loves me! Well, he did tell me he's gonna stick with me until he turns yellow... But he's yellow now, and he's still here! That's good, right?"
"I... I guess... You've never had the urge to, like, kill him...?"
"Sure, I had!" That answer legitimately surprised Martyn. He looked at Scar with disbelief in his eyes. "But I want to make it work, y'know? Sure, he killed me, but we can make it better together!"
"Make it better together... Huh..." Martyn repeated mindlessly. After a moment, he opened his mouth again. "Can I have a request, Scar?"
"Sure! What do you want, man? I can offer you some reputation points- Or maybe some cool, useful trinkets?"
"What? No, no, Scar, I..." He looked at Red Winter, which was laying by his side this whole time. A quiet sigh escaped his mouth. "When we reclaim Dogwarts, when it's all over... Kill me."
"W- wh- huh? Excuse me?" Scar chuckled. "We're allies, right? I shouldn't just-"
"You'd do it either way, sooner or later. The moment we reclaim Dogwarts, I want you to kill me. No matter how. If I avenge my king, that's all that matters."
"Wow... You killed him, and now you wanna avenge him?"
"Yes."
"Well..." Scar hummed quietly, clearly not expecting things to turn out this way. Looks like they didn't have to fear Martyn anymore, if he craved being eliminated this much. "Sure, fine! Lemme just tell Grian-"
"No, don't tell him. Just... Do it, okay?"
"Uh... Sure, fine... Unless I die first, I guess..."
"I don't think you will." Martyn chuckled in an amused tone.
They both stayed silent for the rest of their little meeting, just staring at the endless expanse of the sky. Two reds, who would usually jump at each other's throats - instead, deep in wonder, deep in worry. That was it. The end was getting close. And maybe some of them were just fine with that.
Chapter 9: The second the altar claimed
Summary:
Martyn, the sand people and their allies reclaim Dogwarts. Martyn is reunited with his kind.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Martyn spent the rest of the night, vigilantly watching Dogwarts from the distance and scheming how to recapture it. Finally, his mind could sink into something he was good at - strategizing and coming up with battle strategies - so he had something to think about, other than his situation. The request which he gave Scar earlier almost slipped his mind, almost as if he wasn't the one asking. At this point, the only thing that mattered was reclaiming Dogwarts. So that his king, the one fallen from his own hand, could be avenged. At that point, Martyn wasn't even sure why he really cared so much. He barely knew Ren, before he murdered him in anything but cold blood... But Ren acted as if he knew him, and quite well at that. And the other players also seemed to know more about him, than he did about them. That made him feel somewhat vulnerable, exposed... Watched. He could only keep convincing himself that it was just one big group joke they decided to pull on him. He only just started this game. Any time he tried thinking about his life before that, he could only see the empty expanse of the void. Somehow, that was less unnerving than the idea of being the only person on the server that didn't know what's happening.
Thanks to Dogwarts being one of the most eastern points of the server, it was the first place to be illuminated by the morning light. The roof of their house, wet from the melting snow, shined as if it was laced with gold. Even from the other side of the server, Martyn could almost see the empty, overgrown fields, the empty pens where they kept their cows and the half-broken walls. There was something serene to this view. Maybe in another life, it really did become the greatest kingdom on the server. Maybe they did get more allies, conquered the desert hippies and the Crastle people and established their dominance over everyone.
Maybe in another life, Martyn never became such a heartless monster.
It took him a moment to pull himself up from his spot on the roof. He focused on his task so much, he didn't even feel his legs fall asleep hours earlier - and now they tingled in this uncomfortable, static-like way. His eyelids felt heavy after skipping yet another nights worth of sleep. The golden carrots he devoured the previous day did not prove all that nutritious - they were very saturating, yes, but it was more so a way to trick one's brain into preserving their supplies for later. Martyn grabbed Ren Winter and supported his body weight on it, taking a few sharp breaths. Why did even such simple actions make him so exhausted? There was something wrong, but he had no time to worry about it. Today was going to be his test, whether he was still worth anything. And if he failed again... It's even better he wasn't going to respawn again.
By the time he climbed down from the roof of the Sandlanders' base, Grian already stood in front of the entrance, as if awaiting him. He studied Martyn's each move, as if expecting him to lose his balance and fall at any moment. The moment the captain dropped on the soft sand, he approached him and pressed a piece of steak into his hand.
"I'm not hungry." Martyn immediately protested, which only resulted in Grian pushing the food into his hands with more force.
"Did you sit there for the whole night?"
"...Yes."
"You look like hell."
"I've been living in one," Martyn snarked back, "Since a group of idiots kidnapped me. Take this away from me."
"Listen, Martyn... What you're doing is neither good for us, nor for you. And I know exactly what you're doing. You're self-destructing."
The captain immediately opened his mouth to reply - but, to his own surprise, he did not have a snappy response to that. Not because he thought Grian was right. Or at least not because he wanted to admit that he was. Mindlessly, one of his hands went up to touch the scar that appeared on his temple after he shot himself through it. It was mostly hidden by his long, messy hair (which he desperately needed to wash and cut, or at least brush). The numb pain reminded him of that very brief moment of solace that the act provided him with. It shouldn't have felt so good, and he was aware of that. Did Ren feel the same way the moment he perished for good? Or was it just a reaction his sick, twisted mind came up with by itself?
"You can't fool me. You don't care."
"Unfortunately, I do." Grian sighed and rolled his eyes. "I run these games, and I have to make sure they don't mess with you... Too much. And what you're doing to yourself is crossing a line."
"So what? You're gonna punish me for punishing myself?" Martyn teased. He put one hand against the wall and leaned over Grian. This one time, he straightened up his back to accentuate their height difference. He was taller by almost a foot - but Grian did not seem phased in the slightest.
"No. But if you keep on acting like that, I can't take you to the next game. It's gonna break you further."
"What- No, no, you can't do that!" Martyn's voice immediately broke, as a wave of panic washed over him. It almost felt like he surfaced for just a second to catch a fresh breath - while not even being aware he's been submerged and drowning all this time. "You won't do that! You can't just, like, ban me!"
"I can, if I see this is becoming too much for you."
"You can't do that." Martyn repeated in a sharper tone, grabbing Grian by the shoulders. He could almost feel the Admin's bony shoulders - how could someone this small and non-threatening hold this much power in presence? His dark blue eyes were impenetrable - one could only wonder how many secrets hid behind them.
There was one substantial reason why Martyn couldn't let Grian ban him. It was the very same thing that popped into his mind every time he thought of a world outside of this little server. He had nowhere to go. By banning him, the Admin would pretty much doom him. Was he even aware of that? By his serious, calm expression, Martyn could only guess that he did. On the other hand, could he be this cruel?
Even giving Grian's shoulders a shake did not change the way he looked at Martyn. Ultimately, he effortlessly released himself from Martyn's grasp and handed him food yet again.
"If you wanna stay, pull yourself together. At least today. If not for me or yourself, then at least for him. Our allies will be there in about an hour, so you better get ready."
Grian took one last look at Martyn, then returned to his base. He left the captain completely stumped, unable to muster a single sound. From an outsider's perspective, it was an easy choice - if he just accepted help, he'd be spared from being thrown back into the void, where his unfortunate home was. A no brainer decision, really... Not for him, apparently. He looked down at the piece of cooked meat in his hands, then stuffed the whole piece into his mouth, swallowing it without all that much chewing.
He may have lost it, but there was one thing he was still good at.
Pretending.
Skizz, BigB and Etho did not seem exactly thrilled at the prospect of being led by arguably the most unhinged person on the server. Even when Martyn put up appearances - by fulfilling his most basic needs like getting a proper meal and washing his hair - he was clearly slipping. At this point, his slouching was not even his own choice. He gripped Red Winter, an axe with a blade bigger than his head, like it was his lifeline. The exhaustion was still apparent in his eyes - but so was his conviction, his focus and his hubris, somehow still present after all he's done. Despite their apprehension, however, they seemed quite interested in his newfound strategy. Apparently, if one was to include his criminal record and clearly poor mental state, Martyn was quite a good speaker.
It wasn't even noon as they ventured out on their trip across the server, towards his long lost Dogwarts. The closer they were getting to the place, the more he could feel ache for his home that never came to be. He could only hope that everything would go smoothly, and he could be reunited with his king-
Immediately, he stopped in place and shook his head. What an idiotic thought was that? Ren was dead. And even if he wasn't, there was no world in which he would be happy to see him after everything that happened. Why was he so hopeful to see the man he hurt so badly? He groaned and hit his temple with his palm, muttering something quietly.
"Martyn..." Grian scolded him in a stern, no-nonsense tone.
"Oh, shut up." The captain rolled his eyes, but then looked up in front of them. This was the spot he envisioned in his plan. They were situated on a hill, hidden behind the last line of trees. Dogwarts was right in front of them, only separated by a thin ribbon of a river, and the thick stone walls. From where they were, they could see someone guarding the area from one of the watchtowers. Martyn could clearly see a short man equipped with a bow, but he couldn't quite put a name to the face.
"I see someone..." He hummed quietly.
"It's Scott." Skizz whispered. "Does that change anything, boss?"
Martyn couldn't help but feel a bit of a shiver going down his spine. He enjoyed being called that. Even if it was unearned.
"No, it doesn't. You do your part, and wait for my signal."
"On it. Good luck, Martyn."
The man took a deep breath, one that felt as if it could be his last. He then crossed the last line of trees, exposing himself while stepping down the hill. Quickly, Scott noticed him and aimed his bow right at him.
"Hold up! Wait... Martyn? You escaped?"
"Hell yeah! What, you think it was all that hard?" Martyn scoffed, but then looked at the area in front of him. He only needed to cross the river... One thing he forgot to take into account, however, were his poor swimming skills. Trying to hide how embarrassed he looked, he started crossing the stream, silently praying to not trip and fall like an absolute fool. "What are you even doing here, man?"
"Watching out for Scar and Grian, and the others... But I didn't expect to see you." The blue haired man admitted, lowering the bow. He even seemed to put it aside, as he started twirling a lock of his hair on his fingers. "This is... Awkward..."
"Listen," He chuckled in the most fake way he could manage, "I know I probably can't face y'all on my own... How about this - you just let me into a place that's actually rightfully mine, and I'll join you. Okay?"
"Really?" Scott tilted his head, like a curious cat.
"Of course!" Martyn smiled brightly, playing with his own hair with one of his hands. The other he kept behind his back, his fingers blatantly crossed outside of Scott's view.
"Okay, okay... Lemme just call over the others to ask them, okay?"
"Sure, sure!" The captain nodded, then raised one of his hands to wave at Scott. Badly hiding how flustered he was, Scott waved back at him, not quite understanding why he did that gesture so late into his conversation.
But he didn't have to understand. What mattered, was that the others did.
"That's the signal! C'mon, guys!" Skizz turned to his friends. He climbed up a tree to carefully watch out for Martyn's signal, and he just jumped down.
"Hold up, give me a second..." Etho muttered, loading the makeshift cannon with TNT. BigB handed him the last of the dynamite, priming the weapon.
"Wait, wait, hold up- That idiot is standing in the firing range..." Grian peeked from between the trees. He wanted to yell over to Martyn to move, but it was too risky - they could be spotted any moment. "If you shoot now, you're gonna kill him!"
"And you care, after everything that happened?" BigB asked, leaning over the cannon.
"Yes, I do... Hey, watch out!"
BigB looked at where he just rested his elbows, not realizing that he accidentally pressed a button placed on the cannon's side. Immediately, as the first portion of TNT was lit up, all of them jumped aside to not get obliterated by the blast. Scar pulled Grian to the ground, shielding him from the impending explosion.
"Martyn!" Grian finally yelled, hoping that the other player would hear him.
Martyn turned towards the tree line, confused as to why Grian called out to him. He was gonna ruin their perfect plan...
Until, all of a sudden, he saw a huge packet of TNT flying right at him.
Martyn barely managed to duck and shield his head, before the bomb flew right over him and exploded, leaving a gaping hole in the Dogwarts' defenses. The bang roared so loudly, it made his ears ring for a solid minute. He almost missed the fact that his apparent allies just crossed the river and ran up the hill towards the greatest kingdom on the server.
"Martyn, c'mon!" Skizz called out to him, reaching out a hand to Martyn. The captain, still in confusion after how narrowly he missed a painful death, accepted the help and pulled himself up. "You good?"
"Yes, I'm fine." Martyn huffed, then turned towards Dogwarts. Right away, he noticed his enemies - Scott, Joel, Bdubs, Impulse and Cleo, standing in the middle of the area, quite shocked that their sturdy wall just gained a new unexpected window. "Stay away, Skizzle... I have some things I need to do here."
One good thing that came of this fight, was that now the former king of Dogwarts was not the only victim that this place had claimed.
Martyn really cursed at himself for not convincing himself to switch for a lighter, more nimble weapon. Despite that, he sowed absolute carnage with the giant axe in his hand. Quickly, he forgot about his exhaustion, the heavy feeling in his stomach (which could be either his guilt, or the food he neglected to chew earlier) and the grief that weighed him down all this time. As long as each swing of the axe produced a new wound, no matter on him, he was fulfilled. Cleo was the first to go, with Joel following soon after. From a scream he heard, he deduced that Skizz also perished in the heat of battle - but his bloodlusted made him too focused on seeking possible victims, to even think about his allies. Not like they were actually allied. He just joined them to serve a task, and then be freed. The moment they're all dead, I can hate them again , he thought as the blade of Red Winter plunged straight into Scott's skull. He only briefly saw the man's shocked, pained expression as the finishing blow was delivered upon him.
Maybe in another life, they weren't enemies. Maybe they could be lovers. But not in this one. In this one, love was not something he deserved.
"And that's the last one!" Grian sighed in relief, as one last thunderbolt crossed the sky upon a player's death.
Martyn rested against Red Winter, struggling to calm down his breathing. His heart was racing, to the point it could probably hop out of his chest and run away. He looked down at his wristband, watching through the death messages that just occurred.
Zombiecleo was slain by Inthelittlewood.
Smallishbeans was slain by Inthelittlewood.
Skizzleman was slain by ImpulseSV.
ImpulseSV was slain by Grian.
Bigbst4tz2 was slain by BdoubleO100.
Etho was slain by Smajor1995.
Smajor1995 was slain by Inthelittlewood.
BdoubleO100 was slain by Goodtimewithscar.
It was done... Finally done. Martyn put his chin on the top of Red Winter's handle. A cold breeze flew over his face, as steaming hot tears streamed down his face. The scent of blood was still heavy in the air. But he was finally done... He was home. Back with his king, back where he belonged...
Until a sharp, piercing pain shot through his chest.
Martyn's whole body immediately shut down, upon both the fatal wound and the shock. He dropped Red Winter, which fell on the Black Heart Altar - and he fell right alongside his trusty weapon. Scar lowered his crossbow and sighed.
"Sorry, man... I hope this is what you wanted." He muttered, then turned to his last allies. "Hey, Grian! BigB! What do we do now?"
Martyn could clearly hear them leaving Dogwarts. His warm tears dropped upon the cold, smooth surface of Black Heart Altar. His brain, in a last dazed attempt to keep him alive, yelled at him to get up, to follow them, to get out... But at that point, the pain was too strong. And so was the urge to close his eyes, and not have to open them again.
His tears were joined by a small trickle of dark, hot blood, which dripped out of his mouth upon the internal damage he received. The cold breeze seemed to pick up around them. Soon enough, the only sound they could hear was the howling of the wind around them.
The last breath he let out, touched the surface of Black Heart Altar. Martyn was only one person that was aware that just under the spot, and under a few feet of dirt, laid the body of a king. The king, which once upon a time ruled over the greatest kingdom of the server. And now, his decomposing remains were going to be accompanied by the body of his foolishly loyal Hand - laying over the altar, like a sacrifice he made once upon a time. Forever separated by the cold, indifferent stone, and the hundreds of memories they could never make together.
Notes:
Aaaand that concludes the 3rd Life portion of this fic! I'm not sure how long the other parts will be, compared to this one. But! Starting from chapter 11, we're moving on to Last Life ^^
I hope you enjoyed this part! You can tell me which part you enjoyed the most, or which part broke you the most :>
Chapter 10: INTERMISSION: The departed king
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Mere seconds after a finishing blow split Ren's head open, he found himself wide awake in the middle of the void. The great, dark expanse no longer welcomed him with a crippling feeling of fear, or hopelessness, or confusion. Above all, Ren felt tired. Maybe a little frustrated. And definitely cold. No matter how many times he failed, how many times he died and ended up here - the ever present cold always bothered him. It was different from the cold winter breeze in Dogwarts. It was the kind of coldness that immediately entered his mouth and covered his insides with chilly emptiness. If Martyn was still at Dogwarts, he probably felt just as cold, if not more... The man quietly sighed, a cloud of vapor escaping his lips. He already knew the feeling of his words being transformed into simple lines of code, but it still gave him an unsettling ick.
<Rendog> Dang it...
He groaned and put his hand on a newly formed scar on his head - just above his left temple, where his loyal Hand dealt the fatal wound. The fresh, freezing cold blood stuck to his fingers, marking them in a dark color. Much darker than a person's blood should look. Ren looked at his bloodied fingers and bit his lip in concern. There was something wrong, but he had no time to worry about it.
<Rendog> I know you're here
<Rendog> C'mon, let's end this already
In an instant, a circle of creatures surrounded him, feeling the all too empty space of the void. All of them appeared taller than him, despite Ren's impressive height. Even if some were shorter, they floated above the half-dog, as if to establish their dominance. Their big, feathered wings in every shade of grey and purple made up a tight-knit web, which shielded the dead player from the everpresent plain of the abyss. All of their stares were directed right at him - even if they were shielded by each creature's lesser wings, growing from behind their ears or their temples. Ren could feel how they scanned his every move, every microexpression, probably even his every thought. No matter how many times he'd seen them, they always gave him creeps. Despite none of the creatures moving their mouths, they all spoke at once, in unison.
"You can't keep on doing this forever, Uranus."
<Rendog> I will keep going as long as I need
<Rendog> As long as he needs me
It was an awful, degrading feeling. He was aware he couldn't speak to them like an equal - he was not one of them. Their voices carried throughout the void - his was turned into lines of code, making him not utter a single sound. Not to mention, it was not a very comfortable feeling. As if someone grabbed his tongue with pliers and had to manually pull out every word. He did make some progress, though. At first, he was left suspended in space, unable to move in any meaningful way. Now, he could stand on his own two feet - even if there was nothing to really stand on. The less he thought about the logistics of this place, the better.
"Your foolish attempts are doing more harm to him than we ever did. Not to mention, the damage you're doing to yourself, Uranus."
He knew they were right. All he could do was keep going. Relive every painful memory. Reignite every feeling that got buried in the depths of his mind, far beyond even his own reach. Change only the smallest things, that at the end of the day did not amass anything substantial. Each time, there was something different that went wrong. Something that separated them, again. Something that broke them again. Every time he mended one hole, two new would appear. Each leaving him with new wounds - both metaphorical and physical. The one on the back of his neck already got so deep with the repeating mauling, that it took longer and longer to heal every time. At this point, he had to figure out a different test.
<Rendog> I'm trying to save him from you
"And in the process, you're breaking him further. Do you really think he'll be happy, if he learns how many times you've hurt him? Or better yet, how many times he hurt you?"
<Rendog> You cannot stop me
"Indeed. And we're not trying to. Take this as a warning, Uranus. A sign of mercy, both upon yourself, and upon him ."
At first, every time Ren heard the nickname bestowed upon him by the Watchers, he couldn't help but snicker or giggle. However, at this point he became so desensitized to it, that he didn't even flinch. He hated that nickname. He hated how that signified everything that he had to do over and over and over again, for a slim chance to get back the man he loved so dearly. To be able to not only hold his hand and tell him he loved him - but to see in his eyes, that Martyn did not think those were just some empty words. That he knew that Ren actually meant it, and was ready to go through hell and back to prove it. And, hopefully, that this idea was reciprocated. Even after everything that Ren had to commit to to keep this going. To fight for Martyn- to fight for them .
<Rendog> Can I see him?
"Sure. Take a look at what you've done."
All of the creatures uncovered their eyes in unison - and in an instant, Ren was flashed with a vision. It lasted a second, maybe two - but in that moment, he saw everything he needed to see. His lover, crossing the empty courtyard of Dogwarts with an aimless, empty expression. His confrontation with Scar and Grian - seeing him shoot himself in the head made him instinctively grab his own freshest wound. It aligned with the one Martyn dealt upon himself a bit too well. He saw his attempts to drink away or eat away his feelings and guilt, which resulted in him later being captured. He saw the escape attempt, another attempt at taking his own life, teaming up with the desert people and reclaiming Dogwarts. And then, as he saw Martyn's body falling atop the Black Heart Altar, he felt all his muscles tense and his stomach drop in fear.
<Rendog> No...
"If you claim to love him as much as you, you need to give up. You're never going to fix this. You only keep on breaking yourself and him."
<Rendog> And why do you care?
"We don't. But as long as this little spiral of yours keeps going, you're hurting everyone and interrupting us."
<Rendog> That last part is pretty good, actually
Ren let out a quiet chuckle. He still remembered everything that Martyn told him about the Watchers, long before they met. At that moment, Ren thought he was just making up another bit for them to roleplay... Oh, what he would give to go back, smack that version of himself and force him to listen... But the roles reversed, in the most depressing way possible. Now, it was Martyn who had no idea what loomed over them. And Ren, who desperately tried to save him. If only there was a way to jerk his memory, so badly wounded by these greedy bastards...
Until, an idea popped into Ren's head. He would've gasped, if it wasn't for the lack of sound the sharp inhale produced.
<Rendog> I can still fix this
"You say this every time, Uranus."
<Rendog> But I actually can this time
<Rendog> Watch me
"We shall."
Ren couldn't stop his own tail from wagging. Despite the crushing weight of all the memories he forced upon himself - he had a plan. And it had to work. If he played his cards correctly, he'd gain back an ally that knew even more than he did himself. His Hand's memory may have been intercepted, but Ren had to fight for it once again. He could only hope that the one he desperately tried to save wouldn't be crushed by the growing weight of all the feelings forced upon him, piling up and up with no end in sight.
<Rendog> Did Grian win again?
"Indeed."
<Rendog> Great
<Rendog> I'm ready to proceed
"Of course. Yours will be done."
<Rendog> Oh go fuck yourselves
In an instant, all of the Watchers perished as suddenly as they appeared. Ren took a few deep breaths, the coldness of the void freezing over his insides further. There was just a few seconds before he'd be brought into the next world to see all of its atrocities. At that point, he no longer wished for salvation. At least not for himself. This really was his last chance - this time, he had to save his lover... Or face a world without them.
Notes:
Lore enthusiasts, I dedicate this one to you! Can't wait to see what you take out of this one
Also, a quick sidenote! This next week, or at least the beginning, is going to be very busy for me. I can't promise a new chapter anytime soon - the soonest I can imagine it realistically is late on Wednesday or Thursday. I'll try my best to squeeze in something between that, but I'm trying hard not to fail college right now xd
Chapter 11: Keep your friends close and (and the one who killed you closer)
Summary:
A new game begins. Despite ending the last game as a wreck of a man, Martyn is slowly readjusting to living with other people. Especially ones he has no traumatic memories with.
Notes:
Surprise! I know I said there would be no new chapter until at least Thursday, but I managed to pull through and make this one for y'all. Sorry if it's a bit more messy, I'm back at writing in the middle of my college classes xd
And now if you'll excuse me, I need to lie down after an eventful day and in preparation for another busy day tomorrow ^^"
Chapter Text
"Welcome to Last Life!"
As soon as blood finished flowing down the sands of Monopoly Mountain, all of the players were immediately transported into the very next iteration of the game. A thick, dark forest surrounded the spawn, shielding them from the great, vast new world. There was a scent of pine, water and chill in the air. The smell of blood was sure to join them soon.
Grian finished wrapping up explaining the rules quickly, and all of the players dispersed across the server. Their lives have not been assigned yet - they had some time to prepare, and then, due to the new rules, a random amount of lives would be assigned to them. To make the best use of the free time given, Martyn immediately turned away from the other players and ventured out on his own. He couldn't bear to see so many people he hurt or was hurt by - especially when he saw Ren again. The sight of the half-dog man immediately made his mouth feel dry, his heart filled with guilt and a strange sense of longing. He couldn't stand to look at him after all that happened. Especially when, for a short moment, he noticed a bright flash of happiness in the man's eyes. Why did he seem so glad to see him? Why didn't he hate him? Or was that just a bluff? That big, almost giddy smile did not seem fake... Unless Ren was incredible at faking. Martyn groaned quietly, directing another blunt hit at his temple. Why was he still thinking about him? He barely knew the guy, and their short lived relationship met a very bloody end. Then why couldn't Ren slip his mind? Why couldn't he help but wish that his victim could actually turn out to be his friend?
"Martyn, wait!"
The man immediately froze in place. He recognized the voice of the one person he desperately wanted to escape - either for his own, or for Ren's sake. He desperately wanted to continue forward, to disregard the call, but he was too stunned and shocked. He could only listen as Ren's jumpy steps approached him.
"Martyn! Oh baby, I'm so glad to see you..." The dog sighed with relief. "How are you feeling?"
"Whyddya care?"
"Huh?" Ren tilted his head to the side, his ears flopping to one side. He should've expected hostility from Martyn's side, but he really wished that was not the case.
"Don't you hate me?"
"No, no, I don't! I'm sorry, man, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have pulled you into this mess so soon!"
Upon feeling his failed friend's hands on his shoulders, Martyn felt a cold shiver going down his spine. It took him a lot of strength to resist pushing Ren away, blowing up at him, revealing how much he hated the test and its repercussions. How it left him completely alone, broken and confused. And how he wished he could blame Ren for everything that happened. Even if he was convinced he brought all of that upon them. Immediately, upon feeling the man's careful, soft touch, his eyes teared up. His voice tangled in his throat, making him unable to utter a single word. His remorse, his anguish, his shame hit him tenfold in an instant, almost making him break down on the spot.
"Hey... Hey, it's gonna be fine... I promise..." Ren gently squished his shoulders and leaned down. "We'll start again... We'll establish an even greater kingdom!" He suggested in an upbeat, proud tone. Martyn let out a soft chuckle.
"You're... You're not scared I'm gonna kill you again...?" He asked, not yet daring to look up at Ren. Hit breath hitched as the taller man put a finger under his chin, to lead his sight up. His sincere, dark blue eyes peeked over his sunglasses, meeting Martyn's startled gaze with a smile.
"I'm not. I trust you." He confessed warmly. "And even if you do... I won't blame you."
The urge to shove Ren away lessened, and despite his fear and doubt, Martyn felt the instant urge to tightly hug the man. To bury his face in Ren's chest, inhale his safe scent and never let him go. It felt strange. Irrational, even. He just murdered the man a few days prior - he did not deserve to be comforted by him. He did not earn Ren's trust. Why wasn't he being yelled at? Ostracized and ridiculed for showing weakness to someone he didn't have the heart to spare? All of these feelings were getting too much. His legs felt weak, his body was shaking. And he didn't even start gathering resources and thinking over his next base-
All of a sudden, a clicking sound ringed in the players' ears. Martyn pushed Ren away, looking around himself with a confused, worried expression. In just a second, the wristbands in their hands sent a light shock through their skin - and, right after, their straps began shifting in color. Ren's to yellow, while Martyn's to a dark green.
"Huh... That's new," Ren chuckled and looked down at his wrist, "I guess I'm only startin' on two? How 'bout you, baby?"
Martyn looked at his wristband in horror, as it displayed a single digit 4 . He should be happy, he was at an advantage, he was going to start the game with more lives than usual. But, at the same time, it made him feel sick. He didn't deserve it, again. He unjustly took Ren's life, so why was he suddenly deserving of an additional one? Was it a reflection of his sick mind, that preyed on people who's shown him kindness, and-
"There you are!" All of a sudden, someone grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him to the side. Martyn unwillingly followed, although his expression immediately shifted from sorrow to anger, and his eyes dried from tears. Especially when he saw it was Grian who pulled him away from Ren. "You're going with me, mister."
"What the hell, Grian? Leave me alone!" He groaned and slapped the taller player's hand away from himself. "What do you want from me?"
"Remember what we talked about back at Monopoly Mountain? About you self destructing?" Grian crossed his arms on his chest. Martyn rolled his eyes, clearly frustrated with how much the man clearly pretended to care about him. "I'm keeping an eye on you this time."
"Why? I helped you take back Dogwarts! Didn't that prove that I'm stable enough to decide for myself?"
Ren was ready to turn away, to not disturb his two friends - but the mention of his old kingdom peaked his interest. He didn't know all the details that happened to Martyn after he was gone - he was, of course, shown a lot of it, but he couldn't quite grasp everything. At least now he had context for what happened back at Dogwarts, as the place caused another fight to break out... And Martyn actually put in effort to reclaim the spot he called home. And it immediately made his heart warm up.
"No, it didn't. You died right after we finished the job. Did you ask Scar to kill you? I told him specifically to keep you alive!"
Martyn immediately took offense at the accusation. Despite still feeling conflicted and abashed by the situation, he immediately puffed out his chest to hide how miserable he was.
"Ha! A captain would never ask someone to do something like that!" He grinned sarcastically, which was met with an eye roll for Grian.
"Whatever... You ordered him to kill you?"
"Uh..." Martyn muttered, the question immediately knocking him down a peg. Grian sighed and grabbed him again.
"That's it. I'm not letting you out of my sight, until I'm sure you're not gonna kill someone, or yourself."
"Let go of me!" He pulled away again, but Grian tensed his grip further. "Leave me alone! Re-"
He immediately covered his mouth, muffling the rest of his words. What a coward he was, calling out to help someone who he hurt so deeply... He shut his eyes tight and let out a sigh against his palm. Maybe it'd be better if he just stayed put. After all, teaming up with a person he felt somewhat safe with ended up the way he did. Maybe all he needed now was a bitter reality check.
It really did feel like Grian's whole goal was to make Martyn as miserable as possible.
For the next few hours, they roamed the area, gathering resources and talking with people. Together, they did a big circle around the server, during which they got enough wood, stone and metals to start a base. Despite how bad the idea of that made him feel, Martyn secretly hoped they'd bump into Ren again. They didn't. They just kept coming upon players they already knew, and Martyn didn't feel comfortable enough to approach. Until they came back to spawn.
A few people gathered around the dark, stone circle with an enchanting table in the middle, symbolizing the centre of their little world. They chatted, exchanged resources and info, and overall seemed to have a good time. Martyn recognized them, almost all of them. Impulse, the guy who he lied to and fooled, to the point where it allowed to escape capture. Jimmy, the man he slain after supposedly having a history together he could not recall at all. Scar, the other desert hippie that he hated with all his might. And... One more man, who he didn't recognize. A tall, young looking one, with a gentle, if a bit shy look on his face.
"Hi guys!" Grian waved at them. He had to pull Martyn after himself, as he found himself stunned by the sight of a new man. Not only because he was, frankly, quite handsome, and kind looking... Finally, it was someone who he had no history with. Meaning no bad history.
"Who's that?" He asked quietly. Grian looked up at him, then followed his gaze.
"Oh, right, you two have never met before! Mumbo, c'mere, meet Martyn!"
The tall, lanky man got up from a crafting table he was sitting on and approached them. It made Martyn take a step back. Why was he so eager to get up close and personal?
"Hello!" Mumbo, which was supposedly his name, reached out his hand to Martyn. WIth a bit of hesitation, the man ultimately shook his hand, the gesture making him tenser than it should've. Mumbo's hand was big, with cold, slim fingers. Quite the difference to Ren's... The realization that he still kept thinking about him, made Martyn tighten his grip in an instant. "Ouch! Wow, you're a strong one!"
"Sorry, sorry..." Martyn muttered and backed away again.
"It's fine, really... You guys are just in time! Jimmy, show'em!"
"Here! Ha!" Jimmy raised a newly made spyglass from the crafting table. He put it up to his face, then looked straight at Martyn. Feeling the other player's stare on him made Martyn even more unnerved. He looked at Jimmy with a deadpan expression.
"What's so special about that?"
"Special? It's fun! Geez, you're sucha buzzkill, dude..." Jimmy chuckled. "I'm making one for everyone! Well, as long as we don't run out of amethyst and copper..."
"Here, you can have mine." Mumbo suggested and handed Martyn his own spyglass.
The blond man looked up at his face, trying to spot any ill intentions he might have. His big, amber eyes looked really peaceful, however... Innocent. Maybe a little naive. He may have had some bad experiences with being gifted things, but it didn't seem like Mumbo wanted to hurt him in such a way...
"Thanks..." Ultimately, he took the spyglass from his hands. The cold metal made him shiver ever so slightly. He put it up to his eye, then looked up at Mumbo. It was a little strange, seeing a fragment of his face and his eyes from so up close. A soft, amused chuckle fled his mouth. "Aha!"
Mumbo giggled upon seeing the smile on Martyn's face. He took another spyglass straight from Jimmy's hands and directed it back at his new friend.
"Aha!" He called back.
Martyn couldn't help but start laughing. It was such a stupid, random joke... Why did it make him laugh? Why did it make him happy? A smile almost faded from his face, before Jimmy made a new spyglass and joined their little bit.
"Ahaaa!" He grinned and put it up to his face, before it got snagged by Grian. "Hey! Give it back!"
"So this is our new bit, huh?" Grian twirled the spyglass in his hands, then jumped on top of the crafting table and looked straight at Mumbo through it. "Ahaa!"
"Can I have one, too?" Scar asked.
"Uhhhh... Ask Grian to get off the crafting table. Otherwise, I can't." Jimmy pointed out.
"Awww, man..." Scar rolled his eyes, then turned back on the horse he was mounting. "Well, once I set up my new place, we can trade for it!"
"A new place, huh?" Martyn looked up at him.
"Yeah! I already have a place I'm gonna claim! And you guys can come and trade!"
"Can't wait to come and burn it to the ground." Martyn muttered, the bitter snark slipping his lips almost without his will. Immediately, Mumbo let out a chuckle upon the threat. That immediately refueled Martyn's confidence, and he added: "Yeah, so you better get ready!"
"Wow, so rude..." Scar scoffed and rolled his eyes. As he rode his horse away, the blond man called after him one last time: "Yeah, you better run! You may have gotten me last time, but this time, I'm taking you out!"
"Wow..." Impulse chuckled. "What did you guys do after you killed us all in Dogwarts?"
"Ah, long story..." Martyn rolled his eyes and turned back to Mumbo. "You should've seen it, man! I killed most of these idiots by myself!"
"Not like you did it alone..." Grian groaned, looking at him in the corner of his eye. At least Martyn finally seemed a bit more self assured, maybe even relaxed... Finally a good sign.
"Ah, I could've handled them all on my own! You'll see eventually, dude!"
Mumbo seemed quite amused to see his new friend upbeat and confident. He seemed like quite a handful... And a fun person to be around. He put his shoulder on Martyn's head, accentuating the height difference between the two.
"You're going with us, bud?" Mumbo asked, which immediately piqued Martyn's interest.
"Can I?"
"Sure! We're heading south, we found a spot there... You're coming too, Grian?"
"Yeah, why not..."
Grian and Martyn exchanged glances. It was clear neither of them was too keen on having to stick with the other. Grian was not going to just let the other player roam free after the mess he was in the last game, while Martyn seemed fond of his newfound friend and was willing to put up with Grian to stay with him. They could only both hope that buried tension would not end up with the whole team imploding...
As the newly formed group of five players left spawn, Ren watched them from behind the trees. He wanted to go after Martyn and once again ask him to team up, but something stopped him. Martyn looked so... Happy... It took all of Ren's might to hold back the bitter feelings that started bubbling to the surface. He would never let himself admit that he was jealous that his friend chose someone else over him. But, with how they ended up last time...
The half dog sighed and turned away, heading north. Maybe he also needed a break to figure things out.
Chapter 12: Starting aha-new
Summary:
TW: Autoaggresive behavior (non-graphic)
Martyn finally manages to make a friend, while somehow not compromiting himself in the process.
Notes:
Okay, two news before we start!
One - two pretty big milestones, with this story becoming my 4th most popular story on ao3 and being just a bit from reaching 1k hits - and another one of my stories, Conversations with strangers, just reached over 1k hits! I need to finish it one day lol
Two - for the rest of January and the first week of February, the chapters might be a bit more sparse. Exam season is coming and I am so not ready
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
By the time the players reached the southern border of the world, the sun already started to set. Most of them kept playfully chatting. Only Martyn kept to himself, following behind the group, vigilantly looking around as if to spot any danger. The group really did feel exposed, without much equipment or any armor. Him and Mumbo seemed to be in the best position, since their wristband straps indicated having more than three lives - although he couldn't be sure how many Mumbo had. Grian and Jimmy's were yellow, while Impulse's was a lighter shade of green. Still, having an advantage did not ease his worries whatsoever. He kept staring into the distance, looking for any signs of other players. Sometimes he was even aiding himself with his new spyglass. Grian looked back at the player and rolled his eyes.
"That guy..." He groaned. Mumbo turned to him, quite curious about the sudden frustration coming from his friend.
"What? What's wrong?"
"That's the point, I don't know... I've known him for ages, and he's been acting so... Paranoid, since the last game..."
"Wait, lemme try." Mumbo suggested and grabbed his own spyglass.
He took a spot a few meters in front of Martyn, then directed his spyglass at him. The blond player kept on nervously scouting the area. However, the moment he turned to face he was going, and saw Mumbo way closer than he expected, he jumped back with a startled squeal. His breathing immediately got quicker and shallower.
"Aha!" Mumbo started laughing, upon seeing how much he scared his friend.
"Mumbo! You... You..." His startled breathing turned into a wheezing a moment later. "You almost gave me a... Aha-rt attack!"
Immediately, the other players turned towards them in disbelief and amusement. Mumbo tilted his head, a big, curious smile appearing on his face.
"Hang on! I see whatcha did there! You're not that sneaky, are you, mate?"
Martyn looked up at the other players. Mumbo, Impulse and Jimmy barely held back their laughter. Even Grian didn't look as annoyed with him anymore. He just rolled his eyes ever so slightly, but couldn't keep a straight face. Maybe that was the way to make himself feel better around the others? He looked down at his spyglass, an idea popping into his head. It could go one of two ways. Either way, it won't hurt to try.
"Me, not sneaky? I'm a n-aha-tural comedian, Mumbo! These guys will tell ya!" He smirked confidently and pointed to the others.
"Well, you're a good liar for what it's worth." Impulse admitted with a conflicted expression. The moustached man looked first at him, then back at Martyn. That strange guy was getting him more and more intrigued.
"Hell yeah! That's one of my many qu-aha-lities!"
"Dude, stop before the joke gets old..." Jimmy groaned. It was pretty clear he wasn't completely serious.
"Okay, guys, focus... This could be the place where we set up." Grian suggested, vaguely gesturing at the area.
They were right next to the world border - a half transparent, blue-tinted wall, reaching all the way into the sky and impossible to cross by any of the players. Their new land consisted of a big chunk of a dark oak forest, placed on a few small hills. It needed a bit of work, but the foliage gave them a natural wall to at least somewhat protect them. Right away, they grabbed their hastily made axes and began chopping down trees for resources.
The preparation efforts took them the rest of the afternoon, during which they barely talked, mostly focused on their work. All of their resources landed in a shared chest, situated right next to the world border. By the time the sun set, the area was mostly cleared of trees and some of the players started constructing a wall, separating them from the rest of the world. Martyn sat down on one of the freshly cut tree stumps, trying to catch his breath. Just a while ago, he wielded a giant weapon like Red winter without much of a problem. This time, however, an hour or so of wielding a smaller stone axe left him breathless. His whole body felt strangely weaker than he expected it to be. He wiped sweat off his forehead, leaning forward to stabilize his breathing. The other players kept working, and most likely didn't mind him taking a break - but he did. Eventually, as he decided to take off his hoodie, Mumbo approached him with a freshly cooked fish.
"Hungry?" He asked, standing a few feet away from Martyn. The man looked at him, then immediately snagged the food from his hands and took a big bite. The hot meat filled his mouth with a smoky taste and came really close to burning his tongue.
"You have no idea..." The blond man muttered. "You're my s-aha-vior..."
"You're still at it?" Mumbo seemed quite amused, if a little befuddled.
"Yeah! Gotta keep the bit goin' y'know what I mean?"
The moustached man smiled. He took off his elegant jacket and tossed it aside. It landed on top of Martyn's discarded hoodie. The player took a moment to examine Mumbo closely. He was very tall - probably the tallest of all the participants. He was also skinny, almost lanky - especially compared to Martyn's more muscular, stocky build. The dark, neatly combed hair and the prominent moustache made him look much older than he probably was. Martyn couldn't help staring into his big, innocent, amber eyes. He was actually quite handsome... In almost all regards, different to the strong, hairy, tanned Ren-
Martyn immediately shook his head and smacked himself on the head. He had to stop. Stop thinking about Ren. He didn't even know how to describe this strange feeling. Was that a crush? That would be a pretty sadistic thing, to crush on a guy he killed... Both for his and Ren's sake. And it didn't feel like a crush. (Not that he'd know. He was never the type of person to helplessly crush on others. As far as he remembered.) Was this another kind of obsession that his messed up, sick brain came up with? His hand delivered another hit to his temple, almost without realizing. If he was to keep going, he'd either ruin himself, Ren, or someone else, and-
Before he could hit himself again, Mumbo grabbed him by the wrist. His big hand and long fingers were cold, which snapped Martyn out of his daze right away.
"Hey! Don't do that! What's wrong, mate?" Mumbo pleaded to him, his grip slightly relaxing. Martyn looked up at him, his expression seeming both lost and scared.
"I... I just... I-I don't know..." He mumbled. As Mumbo moved to sit next to him, he scooted back, almost falling from the stump in the process. "I'm just... Tired, and... Confused... That last game was... A lot." After a moment, he admitted with a smile. The fact that Mumbo wasn't around that time filled him with meek solace. Maybe at least he won't judge him through the lens of all that happened at Dogwarts...
"Yeah, Grian told me more or less..."
Crap.
"What did he tell you? That bastard..." Martyn growled quietly, his whole body tensing in an instant. He could not allow Grian to ruin his one chance at a normal relationship... As normal as a relationship inside of a death game could be.
"Well, he told you were... Quite a troublemaker, actually." The moustached man admitted with a smile, which immediately made Martyn feel like an idiot. Why was Mumbo so sweet? So innocent? He pulled on the edge of his tank top, not knowing what to do with his hands. They were trapped in a death game, he was talking to a literal murderer... Yet he offered him food, stopped himself from his autoaggressive attempts, and did not treat him like a monster he was. Martyn didn't dare look him in the eyes; he stared at the grass, his vision began to blur as his eyes teared up. "I get it, to be honest... Ren can be a lot, when you let him get into roleplay." He added with an awkward smile. "But here's a-"
Immediately, Martyn lunged himself into a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around Mumbo's chest, pushing his face and nose around the other man's collarbone. His brain began screaming at him right away. He barely knew the guy; how could he show him vulnerability, like a coward? The more he wanted to push Mumbo away and then run into the forest, never to be seen again, the tighter he embraced his friend. To the point where the moustached man started coughing.
"Hey, dude, it's fine... Don't strangle me, please?" He asked with a chuckle. "I may have four lives, but I don't wanna lose them..."
Four. Martyn made a mental note of that. They even matched in terms of how many lives they had... He tightened his grip, but then immediately loosened it as another cough escaped the man's lungs.
"Sorry, I just..." He groaned and turned away. All of a sudden, his mind did a sharp turn and now begged to return to the warm, comforting hug. He didn't realize how touch starved he actually was, until that need of his was briefly filled. "I was... Not the greatest person back then..."
"It's alright! It's a new server, you can be better now, right?" Mumbo suggested, tilting his head again. It almost made him look like a cat - a curious, maybe a little naive cat. Martyn couldn't help but snicker. He was so clueless and pure, the complete opposite to someone like Ren- In an instant, Mumbo stopped him before Martyn hit himself again. "Hey! We don't do that!"
"Sorry, sorry... Force of habit." The blond man admitted with a dumb smile.
"You gotta figure out something else, dude, y'know? Cause this isn't healthy." Mumbo pointed out, suddenly sounding even more caring, maybe even serious. Martyn groaned and rolled his eyes.
"Fine, fine... Fine, I'll figure it out..."
"Well, now you have plenty of people to help you figure this out." Mumbo stated, then got up from the stump. He grabbed his jacket and tossed his over his shoulder. "I'mma go prepare more food for us... Wanna join?"
"Uhhh..." Martyn's sight dropped down to his hoodie on the grass. A corner of a leather-bound journal in the pocket gave him an idea. "I'll join you in a moment, 'kay? I gotta, uh... Fix my aha-xe first." He said with a big, stupid grin on his face. Mumbo chuckled and rolled his eyes.
"Not again..."
"I'm sorry! I guess I'm just... M-aha-rried to the bit!" Martyn teased, picking up his hoodie and approaching Mumbo with a big grin. Immediately, the moustached man pushed him away with his hand to the blond's face - still, he looked quite fond of him.
"You better let all these ahas out before you join us, dude... You're gonna be insufferable." He chuckled.
"That's my speciality!"
Martyn watched as Mumbo walked away. The moment his friend disappeared behind the half-finished wall, he immediately directed a few more hits to his head. He probably looked like such an idiot, in front of the only person who was willing to treat him normally... He let out a long, muffled groan, after hiding his face in his hoodie. I was cringy, wasn't I? Fuck, damnit... If I push him away too, I might as well just... I dunno, leave altogether... Martyn slandered himself in his head, while heading out deeper into the forest. He needed a moment to rest, to think... Finally, as the others were out of earshot, he hid behind one of the giant, dark trees, and sat down on the soft grass. He almost forgot that he still had his journal... And he needed to make use of it, right now.
Game 2, I guess
I need to come up with a system to mark these, if this is not the end
Finally, some new players joined and one of them turned out to be really sweet... Naive and clueless as heck, sure, but at least he doesn't judge me. If something happens and I can no longer stick to him, I literally won't have anyone else to turn to. Maybe the other new players, but I don't know them at all.
And maybe Ren-I don't know why I keep thinking about Ren. He approached me after the game started. He wasn't mad at me, somehow? He actually wanted to team up. What an idiot, acts like the last game didn't happen and he didn't get axed by me. I almost gave in. Almost showed him weakness. Almost showed him that I was sorry. I mean, yeah, maybe I am - but he doesn't have to know about it. Not until I know what his deal is. And why he keeps giving me second chances over, and over, and over again. I will have to talk to him, eventually. But right now, I'd rather just think he's happier without me. He probably is.
The man lifted the pencil from the paper, the prolonged process of writing without any breaks making his wrist hurt a little. At the same time, his stomach growled, begging him to go get dinner from his new teammates. He rolled his eyes, getting more and more annoyed with his body seemingly acting up on its own. Martyn shut the journal, then hid it in his front pocket.
The moment he joined a campfire in the middle of the base, Martyn leaned against Mumbo and let out a sigh. The taller man wrapped his arm around him, holding him in a friendly manner.
"What's up, mate?" He asked gently.
"I'm hungry... I'm gonna st-aha-rve..." Martyn meeped, which immediately made the other players laugh.
"Martyn!" Jimmy chuckled. "You're back at this again?"
"Hey, hey, I don't blame him... We all need to lighten up. It was aha-rd day," Grian one-upped him with a cheeky grin on his face. Martyn couldn't help but smile while hearing that.
"You..." He smirked. As discreetly as he could, he wrapped his arms around Mumbo.
"What? You're not the only witty one around, mister!"
"Guys, guys, stop fighting..." Impulse chuckled, witnessing the two players stare at each other.
"Yeah... I dunno about you, but I can do this all n-aha-ight!" Martyn grinned, which caused another wave of laughter. He was ready to keep going, until Mumbo handed him a freshly baked fish - which immediately shut him up.
For the rest of the evening, they kept their playful b-aha-nter while eating and planning for their future bases. They even settled on their area's name - the Southlands, based on them being the most southern faction on the server. It was too late to start building their bases, so at the end all of them settled for a sleepover under the stars. As the campfire was beginning to dim down, they laid around it on the grass, looking up and trying to not fall asleep right away. Still, one after another, they finally succumbed to sleep. First Impulse, then Jimmy, then Mumbo and Grian. Only Martyn stayed awake, unable to fall asleep around so many people. Today should've proven he could trust them, right? But still, he found it hard to relax completely... At some point, he scooted over closer to Mumbo. He really wanted to hug his new friend, maybe fall asleep cuddling up to him... But it really did feel like an invasion of privacy. They just met, after all... So instead, he just grabbed and squeezed Mumbo's hand, as he finally drifted off into a light state of sleep.
Notes:
Man, I may be completely in love with Treebark but the other Martyn ships...... Ahasbands...... Majorwood...... Love em
Chapter 13: In shadows we pray
Summary:
TW: Depiction of self harm
Ren reminesces about his previous failures, and almost commits to another one.
Notes:
Ren deserved a solo chapter... Okay, almost a solo chapter. So here you go :>
This one actually reveals a lot about how this AU works, so good luck with figuring that outBtw, this story hit 1k hits yesterday and it's still going strong! Thank you so much! When starting it, I was afraid you guys wouldn't enjoy it, and I'm so glad you like it so far!
Chapter Text
For someone like Ren, living in complete isolation was the worst self-inflicted punishment he could imagine.
He was usually a social butterfly. Someone who craved people and flourished around them. He loved getting them involved with his ideas, his plans and his little social games. A natural leader, even if he wasn't always the best at it. There were times, when he would get too into his own little world he created, and other people couldn't quite keep up with his fantasies. Ren was aware that many people saw him as annoying, loud... "Too much" in general. But he couldn't help it. That was his way of showing affection - spreading fun by getting people involved with his ideas.
Never in his life he would've expected that it could backfire at him like this.
After his failed attempt at getting Martyn to join him, he confided himself to a tower situated on the northern-east part of the server. He could see the other player from where he was - he saw Scott, Pearl and Cleo living not too far from him. Further south, he could see a snow-covered base made by Bdubs, Etho, Skizz and Tango. The snow immediately made him think of Dogwarts... He quietly sighed and leaned against the railing on the edge of his tower. They were close, but not close enough to actually be able to talk to them without leaving. Not like they were interested in talking. Maybe they weren't even aware that Ren lived so close to them. Maybe it was for the better for them.
Ren could clearly remember the first time he lived in a place like that. It was long ago. Too many lives ago to remember clearly. But somehow, he did. He remembered every single game he participated in. The ones where Martyn was with him, and the ones in which they had to part ways. The ones he lost, and the one he sometimes wished he lost. All these memories felt crammed into his head by force, with no way to ease the burden of his memory. If he tried to recall any particular memory, he often got lost in his own mind, and in so many different scenarios he witnessed. In every little victory, and in every death. There was only one thing he couldn't recall, no matter how much he tried. As if it got completely wiped, with no way to get it back.
His memories were intact. But he could never truly recall any feelings that they caused him back in the day...
Maybe that's why he made the foolish memory to entrust Martyn with Red winter?
Ren could recall every time he asked his Hand to slice off his head. Every time he agreed, and every time he backed out. Every time Ren had to comfort him, every time Martyn ran away in shock, only to be brought back later. But being attacked back, and mercilessly killed... That was an option Ren never encountered before. He didn't even think of this as a possibility. After a certain point, going through the motions of the games started feeling like a checklist of things he needed to do to gain back Martyn's trust. The lack of the associated emotions warped his mind, believing that if this order of things worked once, it would work forever. He was stripped of the feelings of hopeful, naive trust he had to put in Martyn every time. The pain associated with being beheaded. The way his heart ached every time he had to test time and time again that his lover still wanted to stay with him, in this and every other world.
And it turned out, he was incredibly wrong. Never in a million lifetimes did he expect that his Hand would slip, causing him to lose him so early.
Maybe the Watchers were right. Maybe he was, in fact, going too far...
"Are you ready to give up, Uranus?"
Ren immediately flinched, his ears perking up - despite the voice ringing inside of his skull. He hid his face in his hands, letting out a soft whimper.
"I'm not," He muttered, "I need to save him."
"Truly foolish, aren't you? You are trying to save the one person you care about. And in the process, you're driving him further and further away from you."
"I love him."
"Then where is he?"
Ren inhaled sharply, looking into the distance. He could see many lights across the server, from the lit up bases of other players. The fact that he wasn't sure where Martyn was sleeping that night made him awful. Even worse, he didn't know who he was sleeping with.
"I said I love him. I didn't say he loves me. At least not in this timeline. But there's always the next one-"
"Is there? You're seen what your foolish attempts are doing to the both of you. You've seen your blood, Uranus.
Ren looked down upon his hand. He knew what the annoying voice in his head meant - a slowly healing wound on his hand reminded him of that. One he acquired the day prior, after slicing his palm. The blood around the cut already dried, but it still looked as unnatural as he remembered. Black, thin blood, smelling of rot and coldness. It immediately made him think of the void. The place he'd seen far too many times, much more than a human ever should. And every time he forced himself to go there and return to the game, it left an imprint on him. It started off small, but now, it was getting harder and harder to ignore. And he could only imagine the damage it was doing to Martyn. The only difference was, he was at least aware of what was happening. His Hand did not have such luxury.
"Sooner or later, one of you is gonna break. And you won't be able to fix that."
"I'll figure this out."
"When?"
"I said I'll figure this out! Get out of my head!"
Ren pulled his ears, as if that was supposed to help him quiet the nagging voice. He knew he messed up, he was well aware after being reminded of it every step of the way. But if he gave up now, all his hard work, all his efforts and his sacrifices... It would all be for nothing. He would have to realize he wasted his life, chasing a goal he was never going to reach. And at that point, would it be even worth it to try anything else? Or maybe it'd be better to just let himself hit rock bottom and wait for when he'd eventually drown?
The previous day, Ren ventured out in a last ditch attempt to find Martyn.
Of course, he tried convincing himself that it wasn't all just for Martyn - he attempted to find any allies, any place that he could call home. His tower was fine, but it was growing cold and lonely. There was something about it that made it hard for Ren to stay there for too long. This time, however, he only went out to find someone, anyone to pledge his loyalty to. Even if that wasn't going to be Martyn. Maybe it'd be for the better, even - he needed to get his mind away from their predicament, at least for a little bit.
As he found himself on the western part of the server, he stumbled upon a thick, almost impenetrable part of the forest. It almost didn't seem natural - as if someone planted the trees so tightly, that they made up a half-natural wall. The half-dog put his head against the rigid treebark, taking in the scent of sap and smoke. Yes, someone definitely lived there... But who? As he walked along the wall, he struggled to recall the details of the previous iterations of this game. All he could remember about this place was... Fire. A lot of fire. But it seemed fine, at least for now... Maybe he'd have to warn the others about what he remembered. That is, if he bothered to explain to them how he knew about the supposed fire.
"Stop right there!"
Ren immediately tensed upon hearing a familiar voice. It wasn't Martyn, sadly... But it was still a voice he recognized. Next to a gate leading inside of the tree circle, BigB stood guard, equipped with a diamond sword. Immediately, he grabbed the weapon and pointed it at Ren. Despite that not being who Ren wished it was, he couldn't stop his tail from wagging.
"BigB, my dude! What's up, baby?" He immediately grinned, but seeing the distrust on the other man's face immediately cooled his excitement. Oh, right. In this version of events, they never got to meet through Dogwarts. BigB probably didn't know him at all. If everything went the way he expected it to, the next game would be a big surprise to him... "I mean, uhhh... I was just passing by..."
"What are you doing so close to the Fairy Fort?" BigB still sounded quite suspicious of him. "Are you trying to attack our Lady of Shadows?"
"Lady of... 'Scuse me?" The half-dog tilted his head, his ears flopping to one side. That name sounded familiar... But he wasn't sure whether it was a positive type of familiar. "Can I go meet her?"
"Why?"
"Oh, uh, well..." Ren cleared his throat and straightened up, puffing out his chest. "Every lady needs a knight, doesn't she?"
"I'm already her knight." BigB pointed out. He lowered his sword, and he started playing with his short dreadlock. "But, I guess another knight wouldn't hurt... As long as you don't get yourself killed like an idiot again."
"I'll try not to." Ren confirmed with a bitter grin.
"BigB! Who's comin'?" All of a sudden, a high, sweet voice reached them both. The man immediately turned towards the gate and opened it.
"Lady Lizzie," He said, "You have a visitor..."
Soon after, a woman stepped outside of the Fairy Fort. She did not look all that threatening at first sight - she was on the shorter side, with her long, cotton candy pink hair tied up into two buns, and big, dark blue eyes inspecting Ren with intrigue. She may not have looked like a warrior, but she carried herself with this air of confidence and tenacity... Immediately, she seemed intriguing to Ren. Despite the half-dog not really recalling her. Even if they did ever meet, it had to be so long ago that even meeting her couldn't jog his memory.
"And you are?" The woman asked, standing in front of Ren. She was almost a foot shorter than him, but somehow, she really did seem like she had an upper hand in their predicament.
"Lady Lizzie, is it? I'm Rendog," He bowed gently to her, "And I request to be taken in as your knight."
"Oh are you?" A light, confident smirk appeared on Lizzie's face. "I don't think we've met before... How do I know I can trust you, Rendog?"
Immediately, from bowing, Ren went straight to kneeling in front of Lizzie. The name BigB called her earlier couldn't slip his mind. Lady of Shadows ... Was she associated with the Watchers in any way? She did not appear like one, but he was already aware that looks could be deceiving. But, just in case she was somehow related to them... He needed to gather more information. And to do that, he needed to get closer to her.
"My Lady..."
"Wait, wait, hold up-" All of a sudden, Lizzie grabbed him by the hand. "Let's get inside first, 'kay? There are some... People roaming these lands. We'll be safer inside."
The inside of the Fairy Fort looked incredibly cozy. The thick foliage and cover of trees shielded it completely from the outside world. A few houses surrounding the centre of the spot gave it a really comfy appearance. Not to mention, the place was full of colorful flowers. It looked so... Peaceful... Almost as if there wasn't a literal death game happening outside of that place. As they stood in the center of the fort, Ren kneeled once again and pulled out his sword.
"Now... What can you offer to your Lady?" Lizzie asked, yet again a commanding tone.
"My Lady of Shadows... I will lay down my life for you. Your word will be my command. I will take any life you tell me to, even my own."
After saying that, Ren put his sword to his palm and slid the blade across his skin. In an instant, a sharp pain shook his body, and a scent of blood and rot filled the air. Lizzie’s voice, previously confident and commanding, immediately became concerned.
"Wait, hold on!" She immediately grabbed Ren's wrist, preventing him from deepening the wound. "B, go get bandaids! Why did you do that?" Lizzie said, looking at Ren with a worried expression. The half-dog dropped his sword, which dropped on the grass with a muffled thud.
"I... I..."
"It's okay, you're gonna be okay..." Lizzie sighed, then looked down at the wound. The cut wasn't all too deep, going across Ren's left palm. A bit of blood started flowing out of it, but it looked... Strange. Unhealthy, even. Dark, unnaturally so. And the smell... It wasn't the thick, metallic scent of blood. It almost smelled as if his blood was decomposing. She looked at the man with concern. "Are you okay?"
"I..." Ren sighed and looked down. It would take so long to explain himself... Maybe it was for the better that Lizzie didn't know the truth. She looked as if she suspected something... But Ren couldn't blame her. He could only quietly pray that the damage done to Martyn was not as severe. "Yes, I am. Can I be your knight, my Lady?"
"Call me Lizzie." She answered with a gentle, kind smile. "And yes, you can... As long as you never do that again. You scared the heck out of me... Deal?"
Ren briefly chuckled.
"Deal."
Ren laid down on the top of his tower, mindlessly staring at the ceiling. The wound still itched, despite the fact it was almost healed. It would probably leave a scar... At this point, his whole body was covered in them. Scars of the hundreds of lives he pushed himself through. He put one hand against his neck. A wave of throbbing, nauseating pain immediately shook him. The idea of going through it again made his whole body feel like it was made of lead. He was beginning to doubt whether it was worth it - and he hated himself for such doubts. Of course it was. Martyn was worth it...
But maybe Ren wasn't?
The man pulled out a lighter from his pocket. He crafted it earlier that day, to light up a newly made Nether portal. But maybe he had a better use of it... If he dropped it, the whole tower would go up in flames. And so would he. Serving as a giant, burning sign of his failed mission, for everyone on the server to see. He stared at the small, yet powerful flame. Ren was on his yellow life, but he could only wish it would take him out entirely... And the Watchers would finally get what they wanted from him. He closed his eyes, ready to let go of his last hope.
Until, all of a sudden, he heard knocking on the door.
"Ren?"
In an instant, Ren pulled himself up from the floor and ran down the stairs. That voice... He recognized it. Not only that; he craved it. And it appeared at the last second, as if to save him from dooming himself... Not even caring how disheveled and pathetic he looked, he swung the door open, a big grin appearing on his face.
"Martyn, my dude! You came!"
Chapter 14: In shadows they prey
Summary:
TW: Violence
Martyn makes a realization about himself that leaves him shaken and confused. Unfortunately, he knows only one person who he can ask for help.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
For someone like Martyn, living with so many people he barely knew was the worst self-inflicted punishment he could imagine.
It's not as if the Southlanders were a weak, fragile alliance. Far from it, in fact. They were the biggest group on the server, with their leader being the last winner. Their base was greatly fortified, and strategically placed in a way that made it very difficult to ambush them. They were well equipped, ready to throw themselves into any and all fights that would come their way. Each morning, they practiced a trust exercise by passing a life - to check if any of them was ready to run with it. Martyn was tempted each time - and each time, he found himself biting his tongue, piercing his nails through his palms, and silently passing the life on. Some would say, they could be the biggest threat on the server, and they probably were.
And that was where the problem lied. Despite being surrounded by so many people, Martyn had no real incentive to leave.
He constantly felt the others' stare on him, as if waiting for him to finally snap and turn on them. He couldn't blame them, after what unfolded last game. He did lie to Impulse with no remorse. He did kill Jimmy unprovoked. He kept on budding heads with Grian. So, it was no surprise to him or to anyone that he found himself clinging to Mumbo. Wherever the fresh new, clearly still naive player went, Martyn would follow like a lovesick puppy. He never dared to touch him first, as if afraid one single touch is gonna break the other man. On the other hand, whenever Mumbo extended his hand to his newfound friend, he could see the worry and conflict in his eyes. Mumbo didn't know what unfolded last time someone put their trust in Martyn. As much as he swore to himself that would never happen again, he was ready to take any precautions necessary. Even deny any attempts at closure he painfully needed. Mumbo would not end up the same way Ren did.
What didn't help either was that Martyn couldn't stop thinking about Ren. Their first meeting in this strange new world kept replaying in his head. Why was he so caring and thoughtful? Did he not remember what happened? He couldn't, he clearly referenced that fatal night... Then why didn't he hate Martyn for everything that happened? That could either be an act of incredible mercy, or of incredible deceit. Martyn was sure it was the latter, and wouldn't even dare to think it was the former.
Shaken by the memory yet again, Martyn found himself squishing Mumbo's hand. The taller man reciprocated the gesture, his cold palms providing comfort to Martyn's smaller, warmer hands.
"You okay, dude?" He asked, bending over a bit to look into Martyn's eyes. "You wanna go back?"
"What? No, no-" Martyn immediately pulled his hand back and hid it in his pocket. To find a better way to soothe himself, he began pulling his fingertips and nails against the leather cover of his journal. "Sorry, I just... Started overthinking things again."
"Well, you better take a break, cuz we're almost there." Grian pointed out with a smirk.
All of the Southlanders ventured out to a place called Magical Mountain. According to some rumors (and a very loud advertisement on the communal chat) this was where the enchanter was kept by two self-proclaimed wizards. Scar was one of them - the same guy who now Martyn was even with, after being slain by him during the last game. The other one, Joel, didn't stick out in Martyn's mind. All he could remember was slicing him in half back at Dogwarts. All of a sudden, a pang of guilt rang hollow in his chest. If only he still had Red winter... He wouldn't have to worry about anyone else hurting his allies... Especially one of them.
"Well hello there!" Scar waved at them from far away. He was sitting at the edge of a cave, gaping from a mountainside. A narrow, flimsy bridge led towards him - one that didn't look very stable. Luckily, falling from it would only result in falling several feet down, and maybe spraining an ankle at worst.
"Oh, it's him..." Martyn grumbled quietly. He recognized Scar, despite the man's face being obscured by a dark, purple hood. At least he finally had his clothes on, and wasn't going around showing off his abs.
"Hi Scar!" Mumbo waved at the man, which immediately surprised Martyn. His friend really had no sense of self preservation, did he? They were on enemy territory, and he was greeting Scar like a long lost friend... "You really have the enchanter...?"
"Sure do! But, uh, you gotta wait for Joel, he knows where we hid it..."
All of a sudden, the other wizard manifested on a bed on the cave's edge. Immediately, he let out a long groan and hid his face in his hands. That reaction amused the Southlanders, as Impulse, Martyn and Grian couldn't help but chuckle.
"There he is! Joel, can you show them the enchanter?" Scar asked in a nice, if a bit oblivious tone.
"I just fell into a blummin' hole..." Joel groaned again, but pulled himself up from the bed. Martyn took a long glance at him. He didn't remember the other player having a beard, especially this long... Did he grow it between the games? But the last one barely ended, didn't it? "Okay, sure. C'mon, guys, step into the Enchanted Cave through the Magical bridge!"
"If this is a magical bridge, you guys are shit wizards." Martyn chuckled under his breath.
Without much fuss, the players joined them on the opposite side of the valley. Grian crossed the bridge first, followed by Impulse, and then Jimmy. Mumbo wanted to let Martyn go before him, but he was denied - Martyn would not let anyone out of his sight, and too close to his back to be in stabbing range. Even someone like Mumbo. Thus, Mumbo was the forth to cross the bridge, and Martyn followed soon after.
"C'mon, c'mon! Step right in!" Scar invited them with a big grin. "It's the safest place on the server!"
"Doesn't look like it..." Jimmy muttered, having to keep his wings close to not hit them against the narrow stone corridor.
The moment they were led by the supposed wizards through the cavern, Martyn immediately felt unnerved. It felt like a trap - it had to be a trap. He kept close to the end, following even after Joel. But wait, wasn't he supposed to lead them...?
"Scar, where is the enchanter...?" Grian asked suspiciously.
"The enchanter? What enchanter?"
All of a sudden, Joel pulled out an axe and plunged it right into Mumbo's back. The tall man fell to the ground with a painful groan. Impulse, Jimmy and Grian stepped back with confused and terrified screams. Joel grabbed the weapon to pull it out, but he was too slow. Martyn's fight or flight impulse kicked in, and chose to fight - resulting in him punching Joel in the face, easily breaking his nose.
"You bastard! You lied to us!" He yelled, knocking Joel over and delivering another hit to his face. And another. And another, and another.
By the time he was ready to get up and leave the wizard beaten up on the ground, a sudden hiss of lava reached him. He turned around, only to see Scar flinging a bucket of lava right at injured Mumbo. The other players tried pulling him back, but Scar managed to barely slip their grasp. In an instant, Mumbo vanished in a pool of molten rock and a cloud of smoke.
Mumbo tried to swim in lava to escape Goodtimewithscar.
"Finally!" Scar sighed with relief, as his eyes briefly flashed red. In an instant, Martyn lunged himself at Scar and began mercilessly beating him up as well. "Hey! Get off me! It's fine, I'm done!"
"I'm not done with you!"
Joel managed to pull himself away to escape being finished off, but Scar wasn't so lucky. It was as if Martyn forgot he had a weapon to finish him off quickly, or he simply didn't want to grant him such mercy. He continued beating Scar up with his bare fists, quickly getting them covered in Scar's blood. The wizard managed to attack him back a few times, and his hits weren't exactly lightweight. Quickly, Martyn's mouth filled with the taste of blood and... Rot? Something with a disgusting taste, that he really wanted to spit out. He only did so after he delivered one, finishing, overhead hit to Scar's face - killing him on the spot and turning the killer into a victim.
Goodtimewithscar was killed by Inthelittlewood .
"Where's Joel?" Martyn growled, but immediately started choking on his own blood. He spat it out on the stone floor, then pulled himself up with the help of Impulse.
"Dude, what's wrong with your... Your..." Jimmy asked, clearly confused and worried about something.
"My what?"
Martyn wiped his face from blood. Immediately, his hoodie's sleeve was covered in... Something that didn't quite look like blood. It was much darker - not quite black, but much darker than a normal person's blood. Not to mention the faint scent of rot - reminiscent of the taste he had in his mouth just a moment. In an instant, his mind went blank, then full alarm mode. Was that his own blood? Why the hell did it look like that? It was the first time he could remember seeing his own blood and not immediately die - but it wasn't how a person's blood should look like, right? His legs began shaking, as if the defeated wizards turned them into jelly as an act of revenge.
"Sod it... Wha- What's going on...?" Martyn looked at his friend with genuine fear.
"Wait, wait, lemme see..." Grian took a step forward, but Martyn pushed him away.
"Leave me away!" He yelled. Right away, he ran past his teammates and out of the cavern. He completely ignored Grian, Impulse and Jimmy yelling after him, and didn't even see Joel observing him with confusion.
Martyn crossed the bridge and sprinted through the forest. He wasn't even sure what he was trying to escape; himself, if he was indeed bleeding black? Scar, who through violence made him aware of that fact? His teammates, who were probably left in shock both from what Martyn did, and what happened to him? All of these, probably. He only had one person in mind, who he believed could have any idea what was happening. One he hated the idea of asking - but, alas, he seemed like the only person to truly know what was going on.
"Martyn, my dude! You came!"
"Can you... Can you explain this to me?" Martyn huffed, pointing at the blood dripping down his nose, and covering his hoodie. He was breathing heavily, after running nonstop for the past several minutes straight into Ren's base. He wasn't even sure how he knew where it was - he just did . Inside, he was mad at himself. Why was a longer run such a problem to him, resulting in him running out of breath too quickly? He leaned over the door frame, reluctantly letting Ren inspect the strange stains. He even sniffled them - so he was aware of the strange smell... "You know what's happening, don't you?"
"Crap.. So it's affecting you too, already..." Ren muttered.
"What is affecting me? And what do you mean 'too', is that happening to you as well?" The blond player asked, only to feel the pit in his stomach getting deeper as Ren nodded in agreement. "Great... Do you know what that is? Am I dying?"
"What? No, no, you're not! C'mon, get inside, we need to talk..."
Martyn wasn't exactly pleased with what he learned from Ren. Yes, he wasn't alone and yes, Ren knew what was happening - but that was about it in terms of good news. As the half-dog led him up his tower, Martyn was feeling more and more exhausted. His head began spinning, both from the nerves and loss of blood. He didn't even resist when Ren supported him on the way back. For some reason, the man's scent made him feel ever so slightly more at ease.
"Are you feeling anything else, out of the ordinary?" He asked, as they were approaching the top.
"N- I'm not sure..." Martyn muttered. The moment they reached the top of the tower, he plopped down on Ren's chests. "I didn't expect that running here from Magical Mountain would make me so tired... Overall, I feel much weaker than I think I should..." He finally admitted. The first crack in his impenetrable walls appeared, as he confessed to Ren about how he felt. The half-dog could barely stop his tail from wagging - it wasn't the right time to celebrate yet. Quite the opposite, in fact.
"Oh, man... I can't believe they reached you too, already..."
" They? So you know who did this... Who?"
"I... I shouldn't tell you," Ren turned his head away, "B-but I have to... I have no choice... Just, please, be sure to not tell anyone... Especially Grian..."
"Uhhhh... Sure...?" Martyn shrugged. At this point it was all the same to him, as long as he would finally feel fine. Ren turned back to him and took a deep breath.
"You see, it's-"
In an instant, Ren's throat tightened, almost choking him on spot. His whole body tensed, as if an impossible force grabbed him and prevented him from moving at all. His heart began pounding in his chest. He was aware of what that feeling was. He really wished he wasn't.
"Don't try that, Uranus... You don't remember our deal?"
A shiver ran down the dog's spine, registering his limbs numb and unmovable. He almost fell over, but barely managed to keep himself upright. He shut his eyes tight. He could only hope that the Watchers bent the time and space around them in a way that Martyn didn't see what happened...
"Besides, look at him... He's almost broken. Telling him the truth will not help. It never does."
"Ren...?"
"Yes?" The question immediately jerked him back to reality, as he felt as if he opened his eyes again. Martyn was staring at him, more so confused than worried. Ren couldn't blame him.
"You zoned out... What were you tryin' to say?"
Zoned out. Thank the gods.
"I was trying to tell you... That all this is happening... Because of..." He muttered, nervously looking around to make up something on the spot. Seeing the giant, full moon shining through the tower window immediately gave him an idea. "The moon!"
"The moon...? What do you mean...?" Martyn sat up a bit straighter, as his strength started slowly returning.
"Y-yes! You see, on this here server, we're all under the watchful eyes-" He was really pushing the line with the Watchers, wasn't he? "-of the Moon... She granted some of us special blessings, as her knights! And seems like you too, my friend, have been chosen to join the... the... The Shadow Alliance!"
"The... Shadow... Alliance...?"
"Yes, yes! A special group, working in the shadows for the glory of Lady Moon!"
Ren was getting more and more theatrical with each word. Looks like the tens of times he had to roleplay different roles on different servers paid off in the most crucial moment. Even if Martyn didn't seem to quite believe it, an amused smirk appeared on his face. That single expression made Ren's heart soar.
"You're not pulling my leg, are you...?"
"No, I'm not! Look! She's blessed me too!" Ren pointed out and showed Martyn the recovering wound on his hand. His blood looked even darker than Martyn's... The blond player hummed quietly, pondering his options.
"Who else is in this... Shadow Alliance...?"
"Lizzie and BigB... My allies. Well, I live here, but I'm sworn to Lizzie-"
"I thought you were sworn to the moon?"
"Well, yes! But the Moon gave me a special order to protect her!"
Martyn couldn't help but chuckle again. It sounded ridiculous, and he had no reason to believe Ren... But for whatever reason, he somewhat did. He didn't believe everything, obviously, but any kind of explanation soothed his anxious mind... Finally, he pulled himself a bit closer to Ren.
"Fine... I guess I have no choice... The issue is, I kinda can't abandon my allies just yet... Grian is like an overprotective parent, making sure I'm not doing anything dumb..."
"What life is he on?"
"...Yellow, I think? Why?"
"Well, when he turns red, he has to leave, right? And he can't force you to go with him, if you're not red as well..."
"Yeah... Yeah, you're right!" Suddenly, a full blown smile lit up Martyn's face. Ren silently wished he could stop time at that exact moment, to be able to look at him like this forever. "And then, I can just leave! You're brilliant!- Oh, uh, I mean... Y'know..."
"I do." Ren nodded with a smile. "So, my dude? Will I see you in the shadows, once the Sun sets?"
"'Once the Sun sets...?'" Martyn furrowed his brows.
"O-once Grian dies, I mean!"
"You're literally so weird..." The man chuckled. "But... Fine."
Ren spent the rest of the evening watching Martyn after he left the tower. Talking to him, even if briefly, filled him with a sense of peace and solace. If they could be okay now, they could keep on being okay for a long time... And Ren was ready to do anything to keep it like that. Even if that meant slowly destroying himself in the process. Martyn was worth it, ten times over.
Notes:
I got a few ideas while writing this chapter....... You guys aren't ready :>
Chapter 15: Hit, then run
Summary:
Nothing is keeping Martyn tied to the Southlands anymore. Well, almost.
Notes:
In advance: sorry if this chapter is a little weaker and a slower paced one, these few days have been surely something and I don't have much energy for living, let alone writing xdd
Also, I hope you liked the previous chapter, cuz I noticed that less people commented on it than usual. But it's fine, I still enjoyed writing it ^^
Chapter Text
The last conversation that Martyn had with Ren kept on replaying in his mind over and over again. It's been two days already since they last saw each other. Ren was probably still confined to his tower, while Martyn tried keeping up appearances with the other Southlanders. The server was slowly getting more and more dangerous. The first red player emerged, that being Joel - and that face did not slip past Martyn without using it to his advantage. For now, they were relatively safe on their side of the world. As the Southlanders kept stocking up resources and preparing for an inevitable war, which was going to doom the server sooner or later, they managed to find moments of solace every now and then.
That afternoon, Martyn wandered into Mumbo's part of the base for no good reason. Well, he did have a reason, but one he would never allow himself to state outwardly. Luckily, his friend and his anchor turned out to be incredibly understanding - and they spent a big chunk of the day just cuddling and talking. Just what he needed, despite not being quite brave enough to admit it.
"Why don't we just run away?" Martyn asked quietly, hiding his face in Mumbo's neatly put together, dark hair. He was laying on top of his friend, both of them connected in a loose hug.
"Run away? Where?" Mumbo chuckled, quite amused by the idea.
"I'unno... Anywhere, but here..."
"What do you not like about the Southlands, dude?"
"...the people..."
"Why?"
Martyn sighed, tilting his head to look at Mumbo's face. Despite the game going on for quite a while now, he still looked just as pure and innocent as when Martyn first saw them... Even in light of being brutally stripped off one of his lives. He seemed thankful that Martyn avenged him by slaying Scar. At the same time he wasn't aware that he finished the job with his bare hands, in a blind rage.
"Grian, Impulse and Jimmy don't like me. I'm surprised you do."
"You shouldn't be... I feel like you're the most competent guy around," Mumbo confessed with a gentle smile. Seeing Martyn's confused expression, he added: "Really! But... What happened between you and them?"
Before answering, Martyn buried his face in Mumbo's chest again. The taller player took off his jacket earlier, and tossed it over Martyn's shoulders to make him feel warmer. It really did feel like he was being covered in a big, Mumbo-scented blanket. He hated himself for enjoying it so much, but he couldn't deny how he felt about it.
"Well... Jimmy is just... Well, annoying... Impulse hates me for lying to him... And Grian is..." He twirled his hand in the air, looking for a word. No matter what he was to say, it would have to reveal what Grian thought of Martyn. And that he was at least somewhat correct. He groaned and rolled his eyes, cuddling up closer to him. "And Grian thinks I'm self-destructing, because of a few things I did back in that previous game."
"Like...?"
"Like... Killing him, and then myself in front of Scar..."
"Oh my word." Mumbo muttered breathlessly. All of Martyn's muscles immediately tensed. He was ready to either be scolded, or pushed away. Neither of these happened, to his shock. "Dude... Why...?"
"I was in a... Bad place. Mentally. Physically too, maybe..." Martyn chuckled nervously. "But I-I'm better now, I promise! I'm all good, thanks to y-"
"I don't doubt that." Mumbo put a hand on his hair and gently pulled it through Martyn's hair. It was slowly growing longer and longer, to the point where it was starting to get into Martyn's eyes. "Just promise you're not gonna do anything... Dramatic like that again, yeah, mate?"
"Yeah... Yeah, I guess I won't..."
They both stay silent for a few more minutes. The whole base seemed incredibly quiet. There was only the quiet whirring of wind through the half-open windows. Mumbo's base was the only one which wasn't a tower - instead, it was made into a quite cosy bunker. Martyn spent far more time there than in his own place. The silence there wasn't comfortable - it was deafening. He much preferred sitting with Mumbo, the one person who he felt like he didn't hate. Or who didn't hate him. In his head, both of these became kinda synonymous. He was losing track of how he felt about most players, aside from Mumbo. And maybe one other...
Martyn flinched and looked up at Mumbo. He tilted his head only a little bit, so that his friend could keep on playing with his hair.
"Mumbo...?"
"Yep?"
"You've known Ren before these games, right? What is he like...?"
"You've never met him before?"
Martyn nodded. Of course it was a lie, but Mumbo didn't have to know about that. If that meant getting a bit more information about this strange, strange dog man, then so be it.
"So, uh, well... Yeah, we go way back, back to Hermitcraft..."
The blond man's mind blanked for a moment upon hearing that server's name. Yet again, that strange feeling that he should know what he's talking about... Similarly to how Jimmy was talking about another server, where he and Martyn supposedly met. But they didn't... So he could only hope that Mumbo wasn't just lying to him, for whatever reason.
"And, he's... A lot." Mumbo chuckled, but in a fond, kind way. "He has these grand ideas for stories, and he pulls people in with him... He's a little weird, but he's a... Good friend."
"Definitely." Martyn hummed under his breath. "Well, he is a dog after all..."
"I'm sure you would get along. You're both lovely guys."
Immediately, the man tensed and sat up on the bed. For some reason, that singular sentence made him feel sick in the stomach. How could Mumbo compare them to each other? They were nothing alike. And they were definitely not 'lovely'. Martyn was ruthless, aggressive, dangerous and unlovable. A fiend, which only came to be for the sake of the game and would perish, the moment the game ceased to be. And Ren was... Strange. He constantly made things up. Some of them seemed strangely true... Some of them sounded as if he knew Martyn better than he knew himself. And it was both concerning, and strangely reassuring. He should absolutely hate him, after everything that unfolded at Dogwarts... But he didn't. And those questions kept making his head spin, his whole body tingle. Seeing his sudden discomfort, Mumbo tried pulling his friend closer - to no avail.
"Can we... Not talk about Ren?" He muttered.
"Uh... Yeah, sure, mate... But, why...?"
"I said I don't wanna talk about it!" Martyn suddenly snapped back at him, his voice breaking. In his mind, he immediately scolded himself. Blowing up at the only person who liked him was a bad idea, a really bad one.
Before Mumbo could answer, the doors to his bunker swung open. The blond player was ready to pounce then and there at anyone who interrupted them - but seeing his teammates immediately cooled down his anger. Not that he was particularly happy to see them - but he had to keep his appearances for at least a while longer.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, straightening up and puffing out his chest to not appear too distraught.
"We... Live here?" Impulse chuckled nervously. "Mumbo, can you help us finish the Ghast farm?"
"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot!" The moustached man immediately got up from his bed. "Sorry, guys..."
"Wait, wait- I wanna go with you!" Martyn immediately asked, joining his friend.
"I'll be fine, dude..." Mumbo gently grabbed his hand and squished it, pressing his fingers in between Martyn's bruised knuckles. "You stay here and be safe, okay?"
"You can go caving with me!" Jimmy poked his head through the door. His big smile and golden feathers made him brighten up like the sun. Martyn really wished he wasn't getting blinded at that moment.
"Hooray..." He muttered, then added after a moment: "Wait, where's Grian?"
"Here..." Grian squeezed past Impulse and through the doors. He was easily the smallest of the Southlanders, so sometimes he had to fight his way into being noticed by his peers. "I'm going to the Nether, too."
"Oh, don't you wanna babysit me again?" Martyn asked with a sarcastic grin.
"I'm sure Jimmy will do just fine." Grian rolled his eyes. "But don't try any of your funny business. And don't leave the Southlands."
"Okay, mommy..."
Grian groaned as he was mit with another sour cackle. He really wished he could just give up on the guy and leave him to his devices. But his conscience wouldn't let him. This could very well serve as a test whether Martyn could be left on his own - well, under Jimmy's watch. But his presence made almost no difference.
"We're gonna have so much fun!" Jimmy grabbed Martyn by the wrist and pulled him out of the bunker. While leaving, he could only really look back at Mumbo for a moment - before he sighed and turned his attention to faking it yet again.
<Inthelittlewood> You guys sure you don't need me at the ghast farm?
<Mumbo> We'll be fine
<Inthelittlewood> You didn't lose Grian?
<Grian> Shut up
Martyn looked away from his wristband, a big grin crossing his face for just a moment. He had to immediately hide it from Jimmy, who just handed him a pickaxe.
"Whatcha doing?" The half-canary asked, tilting his head.
"I just... I was asking whether they needed help." Martyn admitted. Well, technically, he wasn't lying. He just wasn't telling Jimmy the whole truth. "So, uh, since Grian said I can't leave Southlands... Where do we go?"
"We started a mineshaft inside of the mountain! We can start there!"
"Huh... Alright then..."
Jimmy led Martyn down a wide stone staircase, leading into their newly made mineshaft. Despite being well lit up and spacious, it didn't quite ease the claustrophobic feeling. Especially since in Martyn's eyes, Jimmy wasn't quite trustworthy. He made up this whole thing about them going way back, to a certain server the man had no recollection of. He could only hope that it was indeed just a one, big lie that Jimmy desperately wanted him to believe. Not that it was actually a part of their shared history that, for whatever reason, was completely gone from his memory. That would be quite a dreadful idea.
"Why didn't you go with 'em?" Martyn asked all of a sudden, as they started mining through the solid rock.
"I- Uh... I didn't want to." Jimmy admitted. "Besides, Grian wouldn't let y- Oh, gold!" The man grinned and began mining out the precious metal.
"Grian wouldn't let you go?" Martyn smirked bitterly.
"No, he wouldn't let you go! What have you done that he doesn't trust you this much?"
"You should know..." Martyn rolled his eyes. He leaned against the wall, as even mining for a short while made him feel exhausted.
"Yeah, yeah, I know, you killed me... But, something else besides that?"
For a moment, there was no answer. Jimmy continued mining out the gold ore, patiently waiting for an answer. The methodical ringing of his pickaxe against the stone made him drift off into a state of peaceful wonder. He couldn't hear Martyn mining - he was aware that his friend was probably not keen on helping... Until, all of a sudden, he felt the sound of his tool falling to the ground - then followed by his stern tone.
"What was that server you mentioned, before I killed you?"
Jimmy froze in place.
"You mean Evo...?"
"Yes. What was it like?"
"...you really don't remember, do you?"
The canary turned back to look at his friend. Martyn was sitting on the ground, with his back against the stone walls of the cave. He was staring into the distance with an unfocused expression on his face, almost as if he just zoned out. His breathing was strained, probably from the low altitude they were at. There was something... Pained to his look. Something off. And Jimmy, who knew him for a long time, could clearly tell. It was as if he was staring at but a shadow of his friend. With clear hesitation on his face, Jimmy quietly approached Martyn. He saw his faint flinch, but Martyn didn't move away - didn't even look at him.
"Dude... What's going on?"
"I wish I knew..." Martyn chuckled bitterly and hid his face in his hands. "Can I tell you somethin', TIm?"
"...yes...?"
Before Martyn could even speak up, both of their wristbands lit up with a notification. Immediately, Jimmy's face lit up with fear.
Grian was shot by Smallishbeans.
"Oh no... Grian!" The canary gasped. "Wait, he's... He's on-"
"On red, huh?"
Immediately, Martyn got up from the ground. He only looked at his pickaxe for a moment, but ultimately grabbed it. Then, without an explanation, he headed up the stairs, out of the mineshaft. Jimmy looked after him completely dumbfounded.
"Wait... Wait! Martyn, what are you doing? Wait up!"
The canary followed after him, his wings flapping as if trying to carry him faster. Slowly but surely, he was getting more and more tired and frustrated with how Martyn disregarded him, his feelings and his attempts at reconnecting. They were friends and allies, Jimmy saw him almost like a brother - and all of that, just to be met with another snarky comment. Or silence, which was somehow even worse.
"Martyn, wait!" He yelled after him, his tone getting angrier and louder. "Why the heck are you like this? You were just supposed to tell me something! And now what, you're giving me, like, the silent treatment? What did I do to you to deserve this?!"
Martyn didn't listen, of course; it was as if he didn't even hear him. He slowly headed towards his crooked tower on the far western side of the Southlands. Finally, Grian was on red. Which meant he could no longer loom over him. He had to leave the team, and he couldn't force Martyn to go with him. Which means that nothing was keeping him bound to this place anymore.
"First time I tried reconnecting with you, you straight up killed me! And now, you're just acting as if I don't exist! I'm just trying to help! We all are, and you are standoffish as always! You don't care about any of us, do you? You never did!"
Well, there was Mumbo... It'd suck to leave him here. But maybe this way, Martyn would never get a chance to hurt him. He wouldn't end up the same way Ren did.
"I know why Grian doesn't trust you! You only ever think about yourself!"
Jimmy followed Martyn into the tower. Upon opening his chests, Martyn made a discovery that surprised him for only a second. He went to gather his things... But he didn't really have anything to call his own. No belongings. No good weapons or equipment. Not even friends. He just silently shut the chest closed.
"Is this why you don't remember Evo? Cuz the Martyn I knew in Evo was never like that!"
"Then I guess it really wasn't me."
Martyn looked Jimmy in the eye for just a second. He could clearly see the pain and betrayal in the canary's eyes... But at that point, he couldn't bring himself to care. If he could, he'd probably already break. He pushed Jimmy aside and headed towards the Southlands' gates.
"Wait, where are you going...?"
"Far. Don't look for me. I probably won't be back anytime soon."
"And what am I supposed to tell Grian? Martyn! What is going on with-"
Jimmy went silent, as another notification went off on his wristband. Martyn didn't seem to even notice it - in a matter of moments, he was already outside the base, heading straight into the forest. The canary shivered, then looked down at the new death messages. Both made his blood freeze.
ImpulseSV was slain by Smallishbeans.
Mumbo was slain by Smallishbeans.
Chapter 16: Heart burn
Summary:
Martyn goes out to visit Ren - but instead, he's pulled into a conflict at the burning Fairy Fort.
Notes:
Finally, a chapter I enjoyed writing a bit more! I feel like you guys are really enjoying this story, and I couldn't be happier. The next two weeks might be slower in terms of uploads, cuz my exams are fast approaching - but I'll try my best to keep you guys updated ^^
Chapter Text
I should've done that ages ago.
What Jimmy said was probably true. Maybe I am a selfish jerk. But who cares? They don't. They already know I'm a bastard and I don't know why they expect me to change. I can't.
I just hope Jimmy isn't gonna tell Mumbo. Nor will they figure out why Grian died. If Joel doesn't keep his stupid face shut, I can break his nose again.
Writing while walking through a forest was not the simplest thing to do. Martyn continuously tripped over bushes and tree roots. He still needed to let out his emotions in a way that nobody would see. He hid his journal in his pocket, then stuffed his hands inside. The evening was getting colder and darker, and he had no way to warm himself. The only hope he had was that Ren would take him in and let him rest in his base.
Immediately, another wave of doubt flooded his mind. Ren told him that he could come back once Grian was red. But did he expect it to happen so fast? Moreover, what would happen if he learned why Grian turned red? Would he still welcome Martyn with open arms? Maybe it was better to not tell him. At least for now. As long as he could still cause trouble with too much knowledge.
"Ren?" Martyn finally called out, as he noticed the top of the tower peeking over the trees. It seemed empty, no trace of anyone around. Even the doors, which he saw after a few moments more, were swung open. As if someone left the place in a hurry... The man furrowed his eyebrows, then peeked inside with a hesitant expression. "Ren? Hellooooo?"
The stone walls of the tower gave off a wave of coldness, making the inside even colder than the outside. With no sign of anything to warm him in sight, Martyn slowly headed up the stairs. His legs ached after crossing over half of the server, so it was a dreadful climb. Martyn groaned, then perked his head up, waiting for Ren to hopefully notice him - if he was even there.
"Ren! You there? Damnit, he never leaves, and the one time I need him, he's gone..." He grumbled under his breath, continuing to head upstairs. Well, if Ren wasn't around, he could just wait for him... Get warm... Maybe snoop through his things... Just to figure out whether he had anything Martyn should be afraid of. To make sure that Ren wasn't doing him dirty in any way.
The top of the tower was, expectedly, empty. Still, Martyn couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment rush through his chest. Not that he wanted to see Ren. Their relationship was purely professional- No, that's a bad word. It was a potential allyship. They could work together. But that's all. No getting close together. No trust based on actual feelings - only cold, calculated risk and reward. Favors for favors. Just like they started out Renchanting... And how it all should've gone from the get go.
Martyn shivered and started looking through the tower. It was quite empty, and very cramped, even for a single person. A few small chests, a singular, small furnace and a perfect view of the server. Despite his exhaustion making his vision a bit unfocused, he leaned over the edge to take a good look around. Ren could really see everything from there... The little lone house at the top of Magical Mountain, the overgrown roof of the Scottage, the snow-covered walls of a fortress south from where he was. If he squinted, he could almost make out the shapes of towers over at the Southlands. It was a bit too dark to clearly see, however - at least, until he saw...
"What? A fire...?"
The forest south-west from the tower was illuminated by an aurora of fire. It covered a big area of trees, engulfing them in ravenous flames. It was too far to affect Ren's base, at least for a while... But it still looked concerning. In an instant, Martyn remembered the wide-opened door he saw when he approached. Did Ren see the fire as well, and decided to help? That would be a logical explanation... But why would he? This fire would probably not affect him, and now, he was putting himself in danger...
"Ugh, you..." Martyn sighed and rolled his eyes. He already walked enough for the day... But there was one more place he needed to visit, it seemed.
The fire was even a greater distance away from Ren's base than Martyn initially thought. He somehow ran up there in a record time, almost completely running out of breath. Almost immediately, he saw Ren and two other players, struggling to put out the fire with buckets of water. Despite the distress, the moment he spotted Martyn, the half-dog's tail immediately started wagging.
"Martyn!" He called out.
"What's going on?!" Martyn asked, watching as Ren and another player approached the river to gather more water. He remained on the opposite side, not confident in his ability to cross the deep, brutally fast stream.
"We're tryna put out the fire!" Ren pointed out in an annoyingly oblivious tone.
"I can tell! But what happened?"
"I, uh... May have killed Cleo as a Boogeyman," The other man said with an embarrassed expression on his face. "And, um, she set fire to Fairy Fort..."
"Oh gods..." Martyn groaned and rolled his eyes. He then looked down at the river. He could just leave them... Decide it had nothing to do with him, and save his own skin... But there was something about that thought that felt bitter. Sour, even. It was not his base, those were not his allies - or at least not all of them... Ultimately, he took the first step into the stream, the water current almost sweeping him off his feet. "Hold on, I'm coming!"
While the other player ran to help put out the fire, Ren remained on the riverbank with a big, proud smile. As far as he knew this version of Martyn, he was ready for the man to straight up leave... But he didn't. He cared. And if he cared, there could be more there to salvage.
"C'mon, baby! Grab my hand!" Ren entered the river up to his knees and reached out his hand.
"It- It's fine! I'll be okay!" Martyn nervously chuckled. He was already weakened by his long run, and the wrathful current was not helping. He could slip and get engulfed by the water at any moment... But, what mattered to him was that Ren didn't know that he-
"It's okay! I know you can't swim! It's fine!"
Martyn looked up at him in shock. How could he know that? That was one thing he never had the courage to tell anyone. So that he wouldn't be seen as weak. Helpless. But Ren just... Knew. How? He never had a chance to see him struggle with such a simple, mundane thing... Did someone tell him? But who? Who could've known that-
Before he could stop his rapid train of thought, Ren entered the deeper water and grabbed him, then effortlessly tossed him over his shoulder. Martyn let out a soft, startled meep, immediately grabbing the dog's shirt. The water looked even more terrifying, as the idea of Ren being able to drop him at any moment entered his mind. He didn't seem keen on it, however.
"Who... Who told you...?" He asked quietly. Ren let out a soft chuckle.
"You did... A hundred lives ago."
The moment they were on the opposite side of the stream, Ren ultimately dropped him - but not into the water, but on the soft, slightly damp grass. Martyn was still breathing heavily, both from the strain and from the shock of what he just learned. The moment Ren kneeled next to him, he moved back a little.
"You... You're not gonna tell anyone?" He asked in a quiet, almost pleading tone.
"No, I won't... I promise. But you should learn that eventually, dude," Ren chuckled in a friendly tone, "What if one day I'm not around to save you?"
"I-uh... I..."
"Ren!" Their soft banter was suddenly interrupted by a feminine voice, calling out to the dog. "You gotta help us, c'mon! We can't let it spread through the rest of the forest!"
"I'm coming, Lizzie!"
Lizzie...? Martyn mouthed, as Ren let go of him and ran towards the fire with a bucket in his hands. He remembered that name... She was one of the other members of the supposed Shadow Alliance. So the other guy had to be BigB, the other person Ren told him about... No wonder Ren ran to help them, since apparently their literal base was burning down. He should also help...
Until, all of a sudden, a bitter cackle crossed the air.
Martyn immediately got up and grabbed his sword, ready to defend himself from any impending threats. It didn't take him long to spot the source of the creepy giggle. Someone was standing on the edge of the forest, watching as the players tried putting out the fire.
"Hey! You!" The blond man called out and pointed the weapon at the stranger. Oh so he thought, as when the other person turned towards him, he could almost make out the wild, red locks and their greenish, stitched-up skin. "Wait, I know you... I saw you back at Dogwarts."
"Oh, it's you, Martyn..." The zombie player smirked. "What, are you helping these traitors?"
"W-what do you mean? You burned down this place, didn't you?"
"Well, yeah..." Cleo rolled their eyes. "They deserved it. BigB backstabbed me, and Lizzie tried to cover for him... I'm just showing them that it won't fly with me."
"That's no excuse." Martyn took a few steps towards her. He raised his sword, in an attempt to intimidate Cleo - an attempt that fell flat right away. The other person did not even flinch. She just glanced up and down at him, then grinned.
"You're the one to talk... You're also a backstabber, aren't you?"
"That's none of your business."
"Well, Ren is my friend... And you murdered him, then wrecked his place. I only did one of these things to them. Although, the moment I turn red, BigB is going down."
That sentence sent a chill down Martyn's spine. Not because he feared for a player he barely knew - but because it made him realize something. If Grian ever learned why he died, would he also go after him, now that he's red? He shuddered, but tightened the grip on his weapon.
"I'm not letting you near them."
"Oh really?" Cleo chuckled, a yellow glint in her eye shining through the forest's impenetrable darkness. "C'mon, try me."
Martyn didn't even need her to pounce, as he took the first opportunity. Cleo gracefully avoided the first slash, the next one barely grazing her hair. In return, she pulled out her axe and blocked the next attack. The metal loudly clanged on impact. Her weapon was not big, much smaller than a weapon like Red winter - but it was bigger and heavier than Martyn's sword. To a point where another hit almost knocked him off his feet.
"Not bad..." He huffed, jumping back before the weapon could slice him in half. Of course it was a pointless fight. They couldn't even legally kill each other - it was an unprovoked, yellow on dark green combat. They didn't even had any bad blood between them, really. But for whatever reason, the moment the first few swings cut through the air, they both locked into this gruesome dance of death.
In a vacuum, Cleo would probably easily overpower Martyn. She was much stronger than him, and her agility was not far from his. Not to mention, her zombie skin seemed strangely resistant to many hits that could otherwise be devastating or even lethal. But somehow, despite his exhaustion, Martyn could keep up with her. The moment he could commit to a fight, nothing else mattered - all he wanted to do was take her down. It wasn't even as if her conflict with BigB and Lizzie was his business. As long as he could blow off steam that he had to keep the lid on for the past few days, he was happy. He didn't even seem that annoyed with how well Cleo was taking hits. That meant he could launch even more of them at her.
"You're not allied with them, are you?" She asked in a mocking tone.
"None of your business."
"I guess... But you make for an even worse ally than me. I had my reasons to do what I did. And we still don't know why you killed Ren."
"Why don't I do the same to you, and you can find out?"
Another slash hit Cleo directly in the neck - but didn't penetrate deep enough to lethally wound her. The zombie immediately stumbled back, the weapon still stuck in her throat. She glared at Martyn with an angry, but satisfied expression. Looks like the enjoyment of the fight was mutual.
"Not bad..." She chuckled. "Maybe if you weren't such a bastard, you'd be worth somethin'."
"Wish I could say it back. Can you at least give me back my sword?"
"Why? So you can finish the job?"
"I can't. None of us are on red."
"So honorable, suddenly..."
Cleo let out another spiteful cackle. However, after a moment of hesitation, she grabbed the sword and pulled it out. Thin, dark blood marked the weapon, which she pinned into the tree and turned around. The wound didn't as much as phase her.
"Good luck, trying to not ruin another alliance."
Martyn wanted to follow after her, but his body was screaming at him to just fall to the ground and sleep. He managed to pull himself towards the tree and grab the sword, but he had no strength left to pull it out. He just leaned against it, struggling for breath.
Before he could collapse however, he heard someone run up to him - and then a pair of strong arms wrapped around him, keeping him up and stable.
"Are you okay? What happened, baby?" Ren asked in a worried tone.
"I..." He muttered, looking up at the weapon. The blood that stained the blade did not look like his or Ren's - it was dark, yes, but almost as thin as water. Maybe Cleo, as a zombie, didn't even need it to survive. Maybe it wasn't even blood. "Nevermind. Did you put out the fire...?"
"Yes, but... Not as quickly as we would've hoped for. I don't think the Fairy Fort is livable anymore."
"I'm sorry, I should've helped..."
"No, no, it's fine! We'll figure it out, I promise! But, you should probably go back to your Southlanders, dude... Before they catch on that you're here..."
"I can't. I burned that bridge. And I don't think I can put it out, either."
Ren nodded, then pulled Martyn closer to himself. It was such a relief that this time, he didn't fight back against it - even if it was probably due to exhaustion. He could feel his friend's heart beating at a rapid pace, his skinny frame moving with each deep breath. Whatever was slowly consuming them both, was taking a huge toll on him. They really were running out of time, weren't they...?
"Can I... Can I stay with you? Only tonight." Martyn asked. "I can sleep on the stairs if you need me to-"
"No, no, you're fine. You can stay with me, dude. Whenever, and however long you need."
Martyn hummed in agreement. With clear hesitation, he pulled Ren into a cautious hug.
"What else did I tell you... Those a hundred lives ago...?"
The dog could feel his face heat up at the question. Slowly but surely, this is what he was waiting for. Now, he just couldn't waste his opportunity.
"You told me so much, dude... Where do I even start..."
"Wherever... We've got time..." Martyn whispered, but fell asleep even before Ren could even pick him up from the ground. Maybe he was right... They did have time. Just as much as they needed.
Chapter 17: The death of the south
Summary:
It's the end of the Southlanders.
Notes:
I admit, this whole chapter sounded better in my head... Still, I hope you'll enjoy it either way!
Chapter Text
<Grian> Martyn
<Grian> Martyn come back to the Southlands
<Grian> I know what you did
Since the moment the sun rose over the horizon, the tension was tangible in the air. Ren was the first to wake up and to see the messages on the chat. They sounded concerning, especially since Grian was already on red... That would explain why Martyn came to him last night. But this thing that he mentioned that Martyn did... He had his suspicions, but in his mind, he prayed it was just his overreaction.
His friend slept on the bed, while Ren sat on the floor next to him. He didn't mind sleeping on the hard wooden boards, if that made Martyn feel at least a little bit more comfortable. And now that he woke up, he just watched his lover sleep, his chest silently rising and falling with each breath. He looked just as great as the first time Ren ever saw him... But he wasn't the same person. Neither of them were. The difference was, Ren knew what was happening to them, while he had to keep Martyn in the dark.
<Grian> Martyn where are you
<Rendog> He's with me, leave him alone
<Grian> Of course you're with him
<Grian> Get your ass back to Southlands, we gotta talk
"What have you done, my dude...?" Ren sighed and silently touched Martyn's cheek. In an instant, the shorter man flinched and moved back, waking up right away. He looked at Ren with confusion and embarrassment. The half-dog immediately pulled back his hand. "Well good morning!"
"Why am I- Oh... Hi, Ren." He whispered and looked down at his wristband. "Oh, sod it..."
"What's going on?"
"I, uh... I need to go see Grian. Not that I want to."
"I can tell... Do you want me to go with you, dude?"
Martyn immediately straightened up and moved aside. This time, it felt like he wasn't doing it for his sake, but for Ren's.
"No, no. Don't go with me. I'll deal with it on my own."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. And besides... You probably don't wanna see it."
Ren shuddered at the words. Deep down, he agreed with him. He already got front row seats to Martyn's show of ruthlessness once. He could only hope that Grian - or whoever else he was gonna see - was not going to end up similarly.
"Okay, sure, fine, just... Be careful man, okay? And text me if you need backup."
"I will."
The closer Martyn was getting to the Southlands, the more clearly he could hear the barking of a dozen dogs. Whoever came to see him, came prepared... To avoid coming face to face with his potential next victim, he decided to take a detour and enter the base from a hidden back entrance, right next to his tower. Even from where he was, he could see that Grian was indeed waiting for him - and he wasn't alone. Aside from the huge pack of dogs, he was accompanied by two hooded figures. He recognized the clothes of one of them - the strange, purple robe definitely belonged to Scar. The others' shroud had a deep charcoal color, and their long, dark hair was tied in a long, loose ponytail. Was that Joel? Seeing Grian with the one who killed him was... Concerning, to say the least. But that would explain why Grian claimed he knew everything.
"So... He didn't ask you to kill us too, right...?" Mumbo asked, nervously fidgeting with the sleeve of his jacket. His eyes kept diverting to his sunny yellow wristband, as if waiting for a message.
"Naaah... It just felt too good to kill Grian, I had to keep going. Sorry guys." Joel grinned, clearly showing that he wasn't actually in an apologetic mood. It was not all that surprising - as a red, of course he had murder on his mind all day long.
"Well, I'm sure that when Martyn comes, he'll have some kinda explanation..."
"More like an excuse." Impulse rolled his eyes. "This guy is a stinkin' liar. Whatever he tells us, is probably the complete opposite."
"Excuse me! I can do much more than lying!"
Impulse, Mumbo and Jimmy flinched as they heard their supposed ally's voice behind them. Where did he even come from? Before they could question him, however, Grian immediately took a step towards the Southlands' gate.
"Martyn! Admit it, you told Joel to kill us!"
"Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about..." Martyn smirked and took a step forward. The gate was partially blocked, and a pretty obvious trap was laid for anyone who wanted to come from outside. Well, their visitors couldn't see it, but they probably expected to not be easily let in.
"Yes you do! Joel told me everything!"
"You just- Wait, what?"
"Yeaaah... Well, technically we're allies now, since we're both red." Joel smirked again and rested his elbow on Grian's shoulder. The half-parrot did not seem particularly happy about it, but he didn't comment. "So I thought it was only fair to tell him..."
"And you believe him, Grian?" Martyn groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Martyn... You didn't tell Joel to kill us too, did you?" Mumbo asked, taking a step towards Martyn. He could feel his heart drop as the man backed off immediately. "You did, didn't you...?"
Martyn could hear his breathing get faster and more shallow. He wanted to disagree, but they probably wouldn't believe him...
"Joel, we only agreed on Grian!"
"Now, guys, we can figure this out together!" Scar suggested, walking up to the gate and attempting to climb over it.
"Scar, stay back." Jimmy said in a stern tone, his wings fluffing up. "You're gonna die if you get here."
"I'll be fine, I'll be fine!"
"No, Scar, I mean it. Stay where you are."
"I'm sure my magical crystals will help settle this!" Scar suggested, trying to get on top of the gate. "A resistance crystal for all of you, so that you don't die again... And a love crystal for you, Martyn! Cuz you need a little love in your life!"
Martyn immediately frowned and let out a gagging noise.
"Get lost, Scar."
"Scar, stay away from hi- from them." Grian quickly corrected himself, shooting a glance at Martyn.
"No worries Grian! I'll just-"
The moment Scar landed on the opposite side of the gate, the trap activated. In an instant, the ground around him caved in. They only heard his confused scream as the man plummeted down the hole, to meet his death in a pool of lava.
Goodtimewithscar tried to swim in lava.
"Scar!" Grian immediately ran up to the gate.
"Well, uh, at least the trap is working..." Impulse chuckled nervously.
"You idiots!" The parrot groaned. "I'm getting in!"
"Don't you dare." Martyn growled, grabbing his sword. It's a good thing he remembered to take it from Ren's base.
"Oh, can I come too?" Joel asked with a bloodlustful excitement.
"Be my guest."
"Sweet!" Joel giggled. Instead of trying to get through the gate like Scar did, both of them began building up the walls.
"Shit... Guys, up the walls! Let's shoot 'em down!" Martyn called out to them, but none of his allies moved. "Guys...?"
"Well, Grian wants you, doesn't he?" Jimmy asked, staring Martyn down.
"W-what? And you're just gonna leave me like that?"
"You left me too, the moment Grian died! You did ask Joel to kill Impulse and Mumbo too, didn't you?"
"No, I didn't!" Martyn pulled on his hair, getting more and more frustrated with each accusation.
"You're lying!" Impulse immediately shot back and turned towards him.
"No, actually he's right." Joel pointed out. He was already sitting on the top of the wall. "I told you he didn't. I know I'm red, but I don't gain anything by not telling you..."
Impulse immediately turned back to the red player. In a moment, Joel was joined by Grian. The parrot already had his eyes on Martyn, and pulled out his sword to attack him at the first possible occasion.
"Wait, really?"
"Yeah! C'mon, I'm a liar, but I'm not as bad as him!"
"Wow, thanks." Martyn rolled his eyes.
He clearly wanted to add something, but at that moment Grian pounced at him. The blond player narrowly avoided the sword digging deep into his insides, and he kicked the parrot in his knee to possibly knock him off balance. His wings helped him stay upright, and he immediately attacked back.
"You're just gonna keep lying and making up excuses, aren't you?" He growled. "That's all you can do! I tried to help you!"
"You weren't helping! You were keeping me on a leash!"
"Well maybe that's ‘cause you deserved it!"
Martyn groaned and directed his next hit right into Grian's wing. A few of his already clipped feathers got cut, as the avian let out a painful hiss. He then jumped right at Martyn, pinning him to the ground and ready to beat him up with his bare fists.
"We all tried to help you! And this is how you repay us? By betraying us and then lying about it?!" Grian sounded absolutely furious. Martyn couldn't blame him, he was also getting more and more heated.
"Okay, okay, fine! Whatever! I did tell Joel to kill you! So that, as a red, you couldn't force me to listen to you!"
Jimmy and Mumbo gasped, while Impulse remained unphased, as if he expected that. Grian looked even more mad, while Joel began to maniacally laugh. If Scar didn't just die, he'd probably be confused about the whole situation.
"You- Ouch!" Grian winced in pain as Martyn grabbed him by his lesser wings and pulled on them.
"Get off me."
"Make me."
"Fair enough."
Martyn pulled harder on the wings, pulling Grian so close he headbutted him. With a strong kick to the parrot's abdomen, he finally got him off himself. The player then pulled himself up and grabbed his sword, pointing it at him.
"You know what's even better? It wasn't even my idea to do this. Ren suggested that if you were on red, you'd have to leave Southlands. So I decided to speed up the process."
"You really are a monster..." Grian growled, squirming in pain on the ground. "And what are you gonna do now, huh? Kill me?"
"No. If you made me suffer, I'm gonna make you suffer a bit longer."
"The only person who makes you suffer is yourself!"
Martyn didn't seem to even hear it, or at least he pretended he didn't. He took a step towards Mumbo, who immediately backed away with a terrified expression. Just the previous day, he was ready to lay down his life for this man... But that cold expression in his blue eyes made it clear. It was just another lie.
"I didn't want you to die, Mumbo." Martyn said. A faint smile appeared on his face, but the sword in his hand suggested otherwise. "But maybe it's for the better. You can come with me."
"Where?"
"Anywhere, but here."
Mumbo looked down at him, an expression of confusion, anger and betrayal on his face. He tried his best to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. He should've seen through him. He shouldn't have fallen for all of Martyn's sweet gestures, and all the words that made him appear as the victim. He was clearly anything but.
"I'm not going with you. Impulse and Jimmy are my allies."
"You really trust them more than me?"
"They didn't order a hit on one of their allies!" Mumbo blew up at him. "And they didn't lie about it, and then abandon us! So, yeah I guess I do!"
"Huh..."
Martyn stared down Mumbo, his grip on his weapon tensing. He raised it, the tip of the blade pressed against Mumbo's tie. He was already too far gone to go back on his decision. They wouldn't let him back in either way. Not to mention, their alliance was already dying. All he could do was help end it quicker. He wanted to smile upon seeing Mumbo hold his breath, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Maybe deep down, he still cared about his friend. But seeing the pain and distrust on Mumbo's face made it clear - those feelings were no longer reciprocated.
"Grian was right about you. You really are a monster."
"Maybe I am. But all that I told you, that I like you, and that you're the only good person in the Southlands... I was telling the truth."
"I don't believe you."
Martyn pressed the weapon ever so slightly closer to Mumbo. He didn't even look at his other allies. If he did, he would see that they were already armed, and ready to attack.
"You can go with me. Either way, I'm gonna free you from this place. You were too good for it, either way."
"I'm not going with you."
"Fine. Then maybe you should join Grian, if you agree with him."
"What do you-"
With one clean thrust, the blade sank deep into Mumbo's chest. His bright red blood immediately stained his clean shirt. Mumbo gasped, his face immediately going white. He didn't have the time to say anything, or collapse to the ground.
Mumbo was slain by Inthelittlewood.
"Mumbo!" Grian yelled after his friend, only now managing to pull himself up. "Martyn! Why did you do this?!"
"It's fine. He's gonna join you. Aren't you happy?"
Martyn looked back at Grian with a cold, uncaring expression. In the corner of his eyes, he saw how Jimmy pounced at him, his wings wide open and his sword aiming right at Martyn. In an instant, he moved back and pinned the canary to the ground.
"You wanna join him?" He growled.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Jimmy groaned. Before he could pull himself up, Martyn put his foot on the man's back and pressed him to the ground.
"We were going to end up backstabbing each other sooner or later. You wanna join him?" He repeated, pressing a bit harder.
"No, no..."
"Then let me leave. You'll never have to see me again."
This time, he looked up at Impulse. The other player was ready to attack, clearly fed up with Martyn's bullshit. But he couldn't deny that he was at a disadvantage. If he attacked, Martyn could easily kill Jimmy, leaving him completely alone in the Southlands. And if he could cling to any allies he still had, he was ready to do that. With hesitation, he ultimately dropped his weapon.
"Good."
Martyn let go of Jimmy and turned back, to leave through his secret entrance. He felt everyone's stare on him, as he took his time to leave. He could be attacked at any moment, true - but at that point, he already established his dominance. And that he was ready to do it again, if needed. He didn't turn around once, as he left Southlands for hopefully the last time.
Ren's ears perked up, the moment he heard someone knock on the door to his tower. He was just busy looking out in the direction of the Southlands. The last two death messages left him deeply concerned, especially the second one. The moment the knocking reached him, he ran down the stairs and swung the doors open.
"Martyn...?"
His friend was standing in front of the door, shaking. He didn't even dare look at Ren.
"Martyn...? What happened, baby...? Why did you... Why did you kill Mumbo...?"
"It's... It's a good thing you stayed behind."
Chapter 18: The only way left is down
Summary:
Martyn attempts to make up for his mistakes. It doesn't always go well.
Notes:
This chapter was a STRUGGLE... Not because I didn't like it. I actually really enjoyed writing it. However, it was an uphill battle with my writing software which at some point crashed and deleted a big chunk of the chapter. And after I've rewritten it, it crashed again. And less than an hour later, again. I'll be temporarily be moving all my writing to Google docs, until that issue with the program is finished, because I cannot keep living in fear that all of my work can be gone in an instant xd
Anyways, I hope you enjoy this one!
Chapter Text
A few days passed since the Southlands collapsed on itself. All thanks to one man, who confined himself to the newly built Shadow Tower. The new base, not too far south from the recently burned Fairy fort, served as a safe haven to the slowly solidifying Shadow Alliance. This time, they made sure to make it from inflammable material, in case of another arson attempt. Lizzie and BigB remained active on the server, talking with people as if nothing ever happened. Maybe aside from the red players, whose numbers were going up and up with each day. As long as there were none in their walls, they were safe.
Or so did most of them believe. One of the alliance members kept himself convinced that they would never be safe, as long as he's around.
Martyn refused to leave the new base, as if to keep the server safe from himself. Less so to keep himself safe from the server. He didn't even want to see his teammate - aside from Ren. As he kept himself locked in one of the underground chambers, he only let one man see himself. As if to make him into a warden, one that wouldn't allow him to ever leave his confinement. Despite that being exactly what Ren wanted.
The half-dog couldn't help but peek through the slightly opened door to the room. He saw his lover mercilessly banging his fists against an armor stand, serving his as a training dummy. His knuckles were bruised purple, his skin beginning to crack and bleed. Even the wood his target was made of began showing signs of damage. It only took a few days of Martyn mercilessly beating it up, as if he had nothing left to do in life. He did little to hide his apparent exhaustion, the shadows forming under his eyes and the sweat sticking his hair together. He didn't have to, if he didn't let anyone check up on him. Aside from one person, of course, but he couldn't care less about his opinion.
"Dude...?" Ren knocked on the door, trying to put on the most sincere and kindest of tones. "Can I come in?"
Martyn stopped himself mid-punch, inhaling sharply as if to hide his panting.
"If you have to... Sure, whatever."
Ren sighed with relief, then pulled the door open. Martyn didn't even turn towards him, nor did he watch as Ren made his way through the room. Each member of the Shadow Alliance got their own room - yet this one was easily the smallest. If someone was to stand in the middle and extend their arms, they could easily touch the opposing walls. All there really was in terms of furniture was a single bed and the aforementioned training dummy. Martyn's sparse belongings littered the floor, making it a tripping hazard for anyone who didn't know to watch their step. Fortunately, Ren did. He sat down on the bed, which looked as if it hadn't been used in quite some time. Despite his lover's disheveled look, he couldn't stop his tail from wagging. As long as he was there, and he was safe. Somewhat.
"How are you feeling, dude...?"
"Wonderful."
"When was the last time you slept...?"
"Can't remember. It doesn't matter."
"It does. I swear, you're gonna make yourself pass out from exhaustion."
"Bet."
"Martyn!-" Ren almost growled in a sharp tone, but immediately cleared his throat and corrected himself. "I mean... Dude, I'm worried."
"You don't have to be. I told you I'm fine."
Martyn hit the training dummy one more time. During this brief break, the numbness from the pain wore off - which meant the next punch inflicted a new wave of shock through his body. He winced in pain and pulled his fist closer to himself.
"See? This is what I mean."
"Oh, shut it."
"You haven't been sleeping, haven't been eating... All I see you do is punch that goddanged armor stand."
"I'm just blowing off steam." Martyn muttered, adjusting his shirt ever so slightly to better hide his slender figure. Too slender. Too bad the 'better' in this case still didn't mean 'good'.
"You've been blowin' off steam for four days, dude!" Ren tilted his head. Secretly, he reached out his hand towards Martyn's pillow. "You gotta find a better technique, if you know what I'm saying." He added with a playful tone and a big smirk. Martyn didn't seem very appreciative of the joke.
"It's fine. This works. Why are you even here? To babysit me, like Grian did?"
"No. Although, he did have a point, it seems. You really are self-destructing."
Martyn let out a bitter cackle.
"Lookatchu... Siding with the enemy, instead of your supposed friend..."
"You know what I mean. Grian is still an enemy, especially as a red. But he's got a point. You're gonna hurt yourself if you keep going like this."
"Then so be it."
A moment of uncomfortable silence loomed over their heads. It was almost like a thick fog, which entered their lungs and prevented them from speaking, or even uttering a word. Ren didn't look away from Martyn for a single second, while his hand reached under his pillow. His fingers clenched on something rectangular and leather covered, and he silently pulled it towards himself. As long as Martyn didn't notice, he was all safe.
"Why did you come here, really...?"
"I... I've got something for ya.” Ren announced, finally snatching his object of interest and sliding it into his robe’s front pocket. “But... I need to make sure it's not gonna make your... Problem worse."
Martyn bitterly chuckled.
“I doubt it can get much worse. C’mon. I don’t think I can go much lower than I already am.”
“You probably can’t…” Ren admitted, his tone half amused and half worried. Only Martyn could make him feel like that, as much as he both loved and hated that. “Okay, fine… Turn around.”
Martyn finally turned to face Ren. His ally was holding a folded piece of clothing in his hands. It was quite thick and black, with purple rims along the edges. Only then he realized that Ren was wearing a similarly colored robe, together with a yellow scarf on his neck. He did look quite… Cute in it. He immediately had to turn away, to not show any fondness in his expression.
“What is that? Matching outfits?”
“Hell yeah, dude! I mean, we are the Shadow Alliance, right? We gotta look like it!”
“I… I guess…”
Ultimately, Martyn decided to put the robes on. Ren silently turned around, to not disturb his friend and to make him feel safer. Still, the moment he was turned he could look around, he didn’t waste a single second.
The robes were clearly a bit too long for Martyn, who was a bit shorter than him. Not to mention, the dark fabric made his pale skin even more pronounced. His narrow arms sank in the wide sleeves. His expression did not seem particularly pleased. But, at that point, he was the most beautiful man in the world to Ren.
“Wow…” He whispered quietly. “You look awesome, dude…”
“Do I? I feel kinda… Weird.” Martyn admitted, turning around and closely examining himself. “I look like a child that put on a bathrobe that’s clearly too big…”
“No, no, you look great! Really!” Ren grinned, his wagging tail seemed like a perfect proof of his true intention. “Just, uh, one more thing… Can I see your hands, dude…?”
“Uh… Okay, yeah…”
Still a bit on edge, Martyn sat next to Ren and pulled his hands from under the long sleeves. His skin was red from the repetitive punching, especially on his knuckles, when it looked permanently damaged. There were bloody marks on the cracked skin. It looked painful - and probably was, as when the dog attempted to touch them, Martyn winced in pain. Ren immediately felt a pang of worry shoot through his heart.
“Why did you do it…?”
“It helped. I didn’t have to think about what happened. Besides, I deserve it.”
“No, no no no no no, dude…” Ren immediately leaned down and left a soft kiss on the man’s bruised knuckles. Martyn flinched from the pain, but couldn’t deny the wave of warmth that immediately rushed through his body. It felt… Nice. As if the gesture meant ‘It’s gonna be okay, I’ll take care of you, you don’t have to hurt anymore’. And it really seemed like Ren’s true intent - as he pulled out a roll of bandage from his pocket and began covering the wound.
“I’ll patch it up just for now… I’ll clean it properly later, I promise dude. So that you don’t get infected, or anything.”
“Why are you doing this…? You’re literally helping a monster…” Martyn whispered, his voice trembling as he failed to keep it firm. He wished he could pull his hands back, to stop Ren - but deep down, this is exactly what he craved. If he pulled away at that moment, he would probably end up breaking down from the whole emotional turmoil.
“Who said you’re a monster…?”
Martyn bit his lip and puffed out his cheeks. He found the whole conversation ridiculous. It sounded as if Ren didn’t see him as an absolute scumbag. The guy he betrayed, killed and was an overall jerk to… His patience with him was really something else.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“Not to me.”
Until Ren finished patching up his wounds, they both remained silent. Finally, it wasn’t the uncomfortable kind of silence. It was more akin to the wordless communication type of silence. Martyn had nothing he could say to defend himself, while Ren didn’t need any excuses or explanations from him. They could just stay like that, and not worry about anything or anyone else. Screw the server, screw the games, they could just stay in that room forever, silently comforting each other, and reminding each other that things would get better eventually…
The moment Ren got up from the bed however, Martyn flinched and moved back, hiding his hands in his sleeves. Of course they couldn’t just forget the world and stay together. They had to stay alive for just a bit longer.
“Come, dude… We gotta have our first official meeting of the Shadow Alliance.” The dog suggested with a big, confident smirk.
“Are you sure they wanna see me…?”
“Yeah, why not? You did help when the Fairy Fort was burning down, didn’tcha?”
“Calling it ‘helping’ might be a stretch…”
Ren immediately grabbed his hand, watching out for the bruises, and pulled him up.
“C’mon, dude! You’re gonna be fine, I promise.” He grinned and pulled Martyn out of the room. “I’ll be there. Okay?”
Martyn sighed soundlessly, still not sure what to think about the idea. If it was up to him, he would lock himself in his room and not let anyone in. But without Ren… He would’ve probably given up ages ago.
“Okay, okay. I’m going.”
The Shadow Alliance’s meeting was conducted in the biggest room of their underground base. A big, round table took up most of the space, with several weapons, items and potions laying atop. The dark, deepslate walls made the place feel even darker than it already was. The scent of moistness was clearly present. By the time Ren and Martyn got there, the other alliance members were already waiting for them on the opposite sides of the table. Martyn shuddered, when imagining having to sit face to face with Ren, having to look him in the eyes. No matter how much time they spent on this server, it always made his guilt bubble to the surface.
“Finally, you guys came! I thought you ditched us.” Lizzie admitted, playing with the green scarf that covered her mouth and nose. BigB wore a similar one, and so did Martyn… Only Ren’s was yellow, to signify how he only had two lives left.
“Welcome, friends, to the first official gathering of the Shadow Alliance.” Ren’s voice immediately dropped, becoming more raspy. Martyn pulled his scarf higher on his face, to hide a blush that he could feel appearing on his face. “Now, the first order of business… We have to choose our codenames.”
“Codenames? For what?” BigB grabbed a few berries that laid on the table. He popped one into his mouth, after lowering his scarf. “Like, don’t get me wrong, the robes are nice and all, but I think it’s still clear it’s us.”
“The robes are nice, indeed.” Ren agreed, a proud smile poking from under his scarf. “They’re very comfy, and… Accentuate the right places.”
Martyn quietly groaned, pulling his scarf even higher. It was almost covering his eyes at that point. Maybe if it did, he could imagine he wasn’t there at all. Seeing that, Ren cleared his throat and continued.
“Anyway… The Moon is calling to us, friends. She advises us to be sneaky and cunning. Thus, she chose the codenames for us.”
“Oh, you talked to the Moon again?” Lizzie asked with intrigue in her tone.
“Indeed! She spoke to me, actually. She gave me the name… Shadow Hound .”
“Shadow Hound…” BigB repeated and chuckled. “Nice one…”
“Why thank you. You, BigB… She asked me to call you Shadow… Uh…” Ren stumbled for a moment. He didn’t think it over as well as he thought he did. He looked at the berries in his hands, an idea immediately popping into his head. “You’re gonna be called Shadow Berry .”
The man looked at the fruits in his hands, then at Ren, but didn’t say a word. He just nodded and set the berries aside. Shadow Hound then turned to Lizzie.
“You, my queen… The Moon called you Shadow Fairy .”
“Shadow Fairy! I like it!” Lizzie smiled and leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. Ren then turned to face Martyn, who was getting more and more weirded out by the whole scenario.
“And you, Martyn, my dear friend…” He said, unable to hide a big grin on his face. “You’re gonna be the Shadow F-” Ren immediately stopped himself. He already chose that name for him dozens of times. But this time, it would probably make Martyn feel even worse about his situation… Immediately, he cleared his throat and corrected himself. “I mean, uh… Shadow Wind .” Still close, but at least gave Martyn a little bit of dignity.
“Shadow… Wind…?” The man furrowed his eyebrows. “Sure, it could’ve been worse.”
“Splendid!” Ren grinned. “Now, we need to discuss our situation, with how many new reds are appearing around the server… We’ve got Joel, Scar, Grian and Mumbo to worry about…”
As they continued talking and scheming, Martyn remained silent. He had several ideas and strategies in the back of his head, but for whatever reason, they didn’t feel right to share. He wasn’t even sure whether he trusted them… And whether they trusted him. They seemed friendly enough, though… Especially Ren. He kept looking at Martyn, silently encouraging him to speak up, but not forcing him to do anything. The secret to his kindness was still something elusive to Martyn. He kept fidgeting with his scarf, the dark green color of the fabric suddenly feeling like a burden. By the time they were finishing their meeting, he finally spoke up.
“Uh, before we go…” He asked, standing up from his chair. All of the eyes in the room turned towards him. “Since we’re an alliance… We should all be equal. We should all have equal chances to make it to the end. So, uh, Ren…” He pulled up his sleeve and tapped his wristband. “Please, accept this as my token of loyalty. And… Apology.”
In an instant, Ren felt a strange warmth and energy filling his chest. At the same moment, Martyn had to support himself to not fall to the ground. Both of them looked down at their wristbands. Their straps slowly turned their color into a light green, signifying both of them being on three lives. Shadow Hound looked up at him in shock and excitement.
“Martyn…” He gasped, his tail immediately beginning to wag so quickly it could probably fly off at any moment. Seeing Martyn’s energy dropping upon gifting his life to Ren, he ran up to him and supported him via a tight hug. “It’s okay, it’s fine… Sit down…”
“I’m fine…” Martyn whispered. “Don’t worry about me…”
“You know I will, always…”
Later that evening, Ren spotted Martyn sneaking out. At first the dog wanted to stop him - but then, immediately changed his mind and decided to join. Martyn seemed apprehensive, using the same excuse as last time - ‘You probably don’t wanna see it’. This time however, Ren was adamant. No matter what happened, he had to see it through.
He never found himself on this far south edge of the server before. The Southlands towers loomed empty and dilapidated, with all of their inhabitants clearly gone. Of course, since Grian, Mumbo and Martyn couldn’t return. Why were Jimmy and Impulse away, was a whole other question. It didn’t seem important at the moment, though. The two Shadow Alliance members crossed the wall and sneaked inside, only to witness the withering crops and the scattered belongings of the previous inhabitants.
“Which tower was yours, dude?” Ren asked quietly, trying to lighten the mood at least a little bit. Shadow Wind pointed to the most western tower, one that was the most crooked and already falling apart.
“That one… But I barely used it. I usually stayed in Mumbo’s bunker.”
“You tried things out with Mumbo, huh?” Shadow Hound attempted to hide his curiosity. It was quite a poor attempt, all things considered. Ultimately, Martyn nodded, after a cold shiver finished going down his spine.
“Yes. He was… Nice. But I screwed it up. Just like I did with you. And I doubt anyone is as merciful as you are.”
“It’s a learned skill.” Ren admitted. “I had a lot of time to practice that.”
“Oh really? When?”
Ren nervously chuckled. He still had to dance around the actual reason, to not enrage the Watchers… But seeing Martyn slowly regain his confidence was worth the risk.
“Let’s just say, dude, it… It feels like I’ve known you a lot longer than I actually have.”
“Poor you.”
“Actually, I… I find myself to be the luckiest dog alive, to know you.”
When Ren said that, Martyn was snooping through one of the abandoned chests - and the sudden revelation made him straighten up and bang his head against the lid. Shadow Hound couldn’t help but let out a soft giggle upon witnessing that.
“You’re… Not lying? Not trying to trick me…?”
“Why would I? C’mon, it’s just us here, and I’ve never even been here… Do you think it’s some sorta trap…?”
Ren approached his friend and wrapped his arms around him from behind. Martyn couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the hug. As much as he wanted to deny it, he craved kindness and care like this. Not being seen as a monster he probably actually was. And Ren was providing exactly that, for whatever reason. Still hesitating, Shadow Wind turned around, to look Ren in the eyes. He’s never seen eyes so gentle, so kind, so bright. He could stare into them for hours.
“I’m… I’m sorry, Ren…” He whispered, before being pulled into an even stronger hug.
“It’s fine, baby… I’ve gotchu…”
Both of them locked into a strong embrace, neither of them wanting to pull away. This is exactly what they were looking for. Martyn - to have someone who would accept him as he is, insecurity and flaws and all. Ren - to finally get his lover to acknowledge their bond, which spanned across so many different worlds. It wasn’t perfect, but at that moment, it was just enough…
Until all of a sudden, Martyn noticed someone standing on the Southlands’ wall. Someone tall, someone he recognized right away. Reluctantly, he freed himself from Ren’s arms.
“You stay here, okay? I’ll be right back.”
“Okay…”
Ren watched silently as Shadow Wind headed towards the wall. He also noticed someone atop the wall - he had an idea of who that was, but he really wished he was wrong.
“Is that you, Mumbo?” Martyn called out, watching as the other player dropped down from the wall. He could barely make him out in the faint moonlight. There was still a hole in his shirt and tie, where his supposed lover once pierced him with a sword. His jacket was now longer, more akin to a coat, and tattered. His hands were hidden in leather gloves. He was bruised all over his body, and his eyes turned from a peaceful, kind amber to a tired, yet angry red. A sarcastic smirk appeared on his face.
“Nice robe.”
“You knew I’d be here?”
“I didn’t. But I knew you’d come back sooner or later. So I came here every night. But I see you replaced me already…”
“I didn’t, Mumbo…” Martyn took a step forward and reached out his hand, which caused the other man to back off. All of a sudden, an idea popped into his head. It worked once today, it had to work again. “I’m sorry about everything. The lies, the deception, the… Killing you. I’ll make it up to you, okay? Here, look…”
Martyn pulled up his sleeve and tapped his wristband. The same warm feeling that once spread through Ren’s chest, now appeared in Mumbo’s. Shadow Wind almost dropped to the ground, weakened by another transfer of lives. On the other hand, Mumbo looked at him in shock. Now they were both on yellow… But the nice, comfortable feeling quickly gave way to all the bitterness Mumbo still had in him.
“You really think this is gonna fix everything, huh?”
“...Yes…?”
“Dude, you told Joel to kill Grian! Not to mention me and Impulse!”
“That was him who-”
“Not to mention, you lied to us! You had another alliance behind our back! When you told me all those things about how you care- Was that another lie too?”
“What? No, no no no! That wasn’t a lie! I cared, really!”
“ Cared ? So you don’t anymore?”
Ren couldn’t hear their conversation, but he had to get closer to listen. He saw Martyn staggering… It wasn’t a good sign. He peeked over a wall, watching them closely.
“It’s not like that! It’s just that… L- Listen, you can join us now that you’re yellow! You can join the Shadow Alliance! I’m sure Ren will let you in!”
“You think I want that? To just be a third wheel? I know how it is, and I don’t want to do it ever again! It was supposed to be us against the world, dude! And what came of it? It was you against me! You killed me to free me from the Southlands- You think I wanted to leave? No!”
Martyn shuddered. As much as the guilt in his heart lessened after making up with Ren, now it weighed on him heavier than ever. Mumbo was right… He decided to choose for his friend, and he chose wrong. And now, he had to own up to him. Just giving him a life was not gonna make up for all the damage.
“I’m sorry…” He whispered. “I’m so sorry, Mumbo…”
The taller man stared him down. He put one of his hands in his pocket, carefully touching an item inside - something small, smooth and cold. He shouldn’t do it, he was not on red anymore… But his emotions were still heightened by the bloodlust. And he couldn’t just accept the apology. At that point, all he had in his mind was revenge. Only that would put him at peace.
“I don’t believe you.”
In an instant, he pulled out a small crystal from his pocket. Its pink and white surface emanated a strong, unnatural light. It seemed familiar to Martyn… He couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was, but it immediately made his whole body tense in fear.
“Mumbo…?”
The man gave him one last tired, broken look, then took a step back and tossed the End crystal right under Martyn’s feet. Immediately upon impact, it blew with a loud boom. The blond man’s body didn’t even have the time to display the heavy damage and burns, as it exploded into a cloud of smoke.
“Martyn!”
Inthelittlewood was blown up by Mumbo.
Martyn jerked awake on his bed in the Shadow Alliance base. The explosion still roared in his head, his clothes covered in burns and tears. They partially protected him, but a painful shock still crossed his body, making it hard for him to move, to breathe, to even think. His eyes immediately teared up.
It didn’t work…
He took the risk, and he lost everything because of it.
Once he finally regained feeling in his hands, he reached under the pillow. He needed to let out all of these awful feelings and thoughts somewhere, before they would all implode inside his head… Until, in a state of panicked daze, he had a horrible realization.
His journal vanished.
Chapter 19: I fall for you, you fall with me
Summary:
Ren's one last attempt to talk to Martyn, before the game ends with both of them falling.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It's been a few days, almost a week since the faithful night back at the Southlands. The night when Ren reached out to Martyn and came so incredibly close to receiving a response he's been waiting for. The night when Martyn was so close to realizing that he did, in fact, have someone who cared about him no matter what. The night during which all of his selfishness came to bite him back.
And the last time Ren saw Martyn.
When the dog came back (or rather ran back) to the Shadow tower, Martyn was already gone. Lizzie and BigB did not even remember seeing him, as if the man sneaked out unnoticed. For them, it was more or less the same - Martyn turned red, so they couldn't keep him in the alliance either way. But for Ren, it made a world of difference. In the following days, he became quiet, reserved and apathetic. At nights, he sneaked out to sit on the walls of their base and scout the area, to hopefully spot Martyn somewhere, anywhere. But, alas, he was completely gone. No sign of his bright blue eyes, or his cheeky smirk. He just straight up vanished, and the only trace left was a red name on the players list.
And his journal, that Ren kept close to himself the entire time.
At first, he resisted reading it. He knew that it would be a huge invasion of privacy. But, on the other hand... He had more or less an idea of how much Martyn was probably going through. And that he would not get out of this alone. Would it be worth it to invade his privacy, if that meant helping his collapsing mental state? Of course, he would never mention that he snooped... But Martyn would probably figure it out, the nosy and clever guy he was. And Ren wasn't the best at keeping secrets. Like everything in life, he preferred sharing. There were so many things he wanted to tell Martyn, to share their whole conundrum and explain why he was doing this... But every time he as little as thought of that, he felt as if freezing cold fingers tightened around his throat. Not yet.
In the meantime, more and more players started falling. First, Jimmy. Followed by Skizz, then Impulse. The Alliance took a big hit when Lizzie turned red, and then died not too long after. After that, Bdubs and Tango followed suit soon after them. Ultimately, BigB and Ren decided to part ways, realizing they had more of a chance for survival if they parted ways.
"It was an honor to fight by your side, Shadow Berry." Ren bowed in front of his friend. He kept his hood on and his yellow scarf on. He switched to a green one very briefly, before going back to yellow not too long after.
"Shadow Hound..." BigB also bowed, although not as deeply. "Do you think, in another world, we can stay together and not have to... Y'know, beat up all these guys?"
Ren chuckled at the question. He knew the question already. It seemed sweet, even if BigB didn't seem like a sentimental type.
"I hope so. Farewell." He hummed, before both of them left the Shadow tower and headed their separate ways.
It didn't take long for Shadow Berry to be the next one to fall.
Ren needed elevation, if he wanted to spot Martyn. Thus, he headed to the only place he could think of, that was high enough to see him - Magical Mountain. The harsh, cold wind blowing over the place immediately reminded him of Dogwarts. Immediately, he started wondering about the place and the many iterations of it he saw. When Martyn killed him off prematurely, did it also get covered in such a thick layer of ice and snow? He saw his old kingdom very briefly, but it looked like everything was melting... As if Red Winter came and went immediately, not letting the real storm brew. It probably looked so much different, without all of the blood sprayed on the white blanket of the snow-
"Well hello there!"
Ren flinched upon spotting Scar just over him. The player took off his hood, putting on a big, somewhat friendly smile - despite the red bloodlust in his eyes being all too apparent.
"What are you doing here, Ren?"
"I'm just watching over. Don't worry about me, Scar."
"Oh, I will, I will! This is my home, after all! Well, my and my ally's! And all intruders should be..." He grinned, taking out his sword, " Dealt with."
"Oh great, here we go."
At that point, Ren wasn't even bothered with the idea of killing one of his friends. Stripped of the emotions associated with the hundreds of deaths he committed to, throughout the tens of games, he knew this guilt and remorse would pass as well. He didn't even feel bad about how he effortlessly avoided Scar's attack and plunged his own axe into the man's cranium. The wannabe wizard immediately fell to the ground. At least the snow here wouldn't remain non-bloodied.
Goodtimewithscar was slain by Rendog.
"Sorry, dude. Nothing personal." Ren hummed, grabbing the weapon and pulling it out of the newly-turned corpse. He then turned towards the south, scouting the whole area. The server was massive, and Martyn could be literally anywhere... Maybe getting so high up was a mistake? He could easily notice the others' bases, but he would never be able to notice a single person stranded somewhere... At least it was still daytime; if it was night, his task would be pretty much impossible.
"C'mon, baby... Where are you...?" He muttered, his tail nervously wagging between his legs. "You didn't die, right? You're better than that..."
Until, all of a sudden, he felt a strong kick straight to his spine.
"Sorry, mate. Nothing personal."
Unexpecting the hit, Ren lost his balance and immediately began tumbling down the mountainside. His body kept hitting rocks and trees on his way down. The muffled sound of his own bones breaking reached his ears. His mouth filled with blood and dirt. He saw the whole world turning in front of him, slowly getting darker and bloodier. There was one thing that didn't slip his mind, however.
A brief flash of light, as if someone reflected the sunlight from some kinda metallic surface. And it came from all the way south of the server.
Southlands... Of course... One last thought crossed Ren's mind, before he crashed against a rock, splitting his own head open.
Rendog was doomed to fall by Mumbo.
"Aha! There goes another one!" The Southlands filled with one man's maniacal laughter. He sat on the wall, watching over the situation through his spyglass. The metal got warm in the setting sun. "That might be our last yellow, wasn't it? Should I go after him, guys?"
'No, no! Stay here with us!' An unnatural, clearly pretended voice answered him. A voice that - at least as the player saw it - came from a crudely carved pumpkin, laying right next to him. A stench of rot coming from the vegetable didn't seem to bother him all that much.
'Yeah! Stay with us, Martyn! We need you!' Another voice accompanied them. Another pumpkin 'answered' the question. That one was less rotten, but its top was broken, spilling the soft inside. Martyn grabbed a bunch of the pulp and stuffed it into his mouth.
"Do you, Mumbo? Last time I saw you, you were quite... Upset with me, to be honest..." The man nervously chuckled, grabbing another fistful of pulp with his other hand. His sleeves were already covered in pumpkin juices.
'I'm sorry! I should've listened you! I love you!' Martyn giggled, before turning the pumpkin to face him. The vegetable even had a moustache, made of a bunch of dried out wheat.
"Oh, Mumbo..." Martyn briefly sighed, before looking at the other pumpkins. All of them had their own spyglasses. Two of them had little wings made out of pieces of leather, with one of the vegetables clearly smaller than the others. One had a big letter 'i' scratched on its back. But he kept the moustached one the closest to himself. "I love you too, guys! You're all so nice and understanding! I wish I could just stay here forever with you, and-"
Martyn suddenly stopped as his face scrunched in disgust. He spat out the pulp that he just had in his mouth. A big chunk of it was clearly rotten, which resulted in its awful aftertaste. That sudden realization immediately jerked him back to reality, as he grabbed the Mumbo-pumpkin.
"You... You actually hate me, don't you...?" He whispered, tightening his fingers on the vegetable. He didn't get an answer. Not only because the illusion just broke, and the pumpkins obviously couldn't talk back to him. But also because if he was the one to answer, he'd have to say 'yes'. He groaned, then tossed the pumpkin far away, beyond the Southland walls. "Out! Begone with you! You buncha traitors!"
In an instant, he got up from his spot and began kicking and smashing the pumpkins. It didn't matter how much time he put into carving their little faces. It didn't matter how somewhere deep down, he still thought of them as real people - his friends. He didn't have actual friends, so why bother? He wiped the pumpkin juice in his robes, struggling to keep himself from crying. Even if there was nobody around to see it, it would be so... Humiliating, to cry over a bunch of pumpkins...
Even if the pumpkins were just a metaphor. There was so much more he just lost. He flinched, as a new notification popped up on his wristband.
Mumbo was shot by Smajor1995.
"Oh... Well..."
Martyn sat down on the edge of the wall, hiding his face in his scarf. He stole a red one as he ran away from the Shadow tower, since he was no longer worthy of wearing a yellow one. He could only be thankful that he was alone, with nobody to witness his pathetic show of weakness...
"Martyn! Martyn, dude!"
Oh. Great.
Immediately, Martyn's eyes became dry as he attempted to hide any signs of his vulnerability. Especially when he saw that it was Ren, out of everyone, who was approaching him. He clearly just spawned, and was still panting and limping after running towards him... Martyn got up from his spot, staring down at him.
"How did you find me, Ren?"
"The spyglass, dude... It refracted the light, and I saw it as I was... Descending Magical Mountain, if you know what I'm sayin'."
Martyn couldn't help but let out a quiet chuckle. He saw that 'descend' happen, actually. But maybe he didn't have to mention it.
"I guess... But... why did you come here...?"
"To talk to you!"
"...We're both red, aren't we?"
"So? Doesn't mean we can't talk, right? C'mon dude, I missed you..."
Martyn almost smiled, before a realization hit him. He pulled out his sword.
"You have something that belongs to me. Don't you?"
"I... I do. Can I come in? Can I hand it to you?"
Clearly on the fence about this proposal, Martyn covered his mouth with his scarf again. Soundlessly, he jumped down the wall, then approached the Southland gate. It was mostly broken, and unable to cross. There was only one spot, through which someone could put something.
"Give it back. Then you can come in."
Ren carefully approached the gate, not wanting to be its next victim. He heard about the trap that claimed Scar's life... And it could still be working, so he wasn't taking his chances. He grabbed a journal from his robe's pocket, then put it through the hole in the gate.
"Why did you take it?" Martyn asked in a cold voice. He grabbed the book, but didn't quite take it from Ren yet.
The dog was clearly stumped by the question.
"I just- I was- I thought- I wanted to- Uhhh..." He bit his tongue. Usually, he handled stressful situations better. "I- I don't know why I did that. I'm sorry."
"Did you read through it?"
"No, no, of course I didn't! I'd never!-"
"You're lying, aren't you?"
Ren froze in place, not sure whether he should keep on denouncing, or just admit his guilt. His silence was enough to ensure Martyn, however.
"Can I come in...?"
"...If you dare..."
Ren huffed, then looked around the wall for an alternative entrance. There were none, obviously... Martyn isolated himself yet again. He groaned, then began climbing up the walls. His body still ached after the fall, so the process was quite straining.
"Can we talk, dude? Please... I need to tell you so much..."
"Oh, look! Grian and Etho died! Hah!" Martyn chuckled. He looked away from his wristband and down on his journal. It looked unscathed... Maybe Ren really did leave it alone? He still preferred to stay on the defensive, though. He had no idea whether Ren could be trusted, after all. "Good for them..."
"Dude, please... A little help?"
"You don't have to come in, if you don't wanna..."
Ren groaned quietly, then gasped as he almost slid down the wall. His frustration got even worse as he saw Martyn climb the wall and stand over him. He didn't seem keen on supporting his friend, however. The dog huffed, every old injury from every game he participated in flaring up at once. All of a sudden, the wall seemed miles tall. And he needed to reach the top.
"Why did you come here?" Martyn repeated his question.
"I... Wanna talk... I didn't want to leave... Leave you alone here... I'm sorry about... Everything..." Ren huffed, struggling to catch his breath.
"About what? All you really did was steal my journal. It was shitty, sure, but you could've done worse."
"No... There's so much... So many things I need to tell you... To apologize..." The dog grumbled, struggling to pull himself up. The Watchers were right. As much as he hated to admit it, he was running out of time. "It's my fault we're here..."
"What are you talking about...?"
"I never should've..." He started coughing, desperately trying to ignore the bitter taste of rot in his mouth. "Never should've started this whole thing... I wanted to get us to safety, but I failed... Again, and again, and again..." Ren looked up and the moment he saw Martyn extending his hand to him, he accepted it immediately. "If it wasn't for me, Dogwarts wouldn't have fallen...You would've never gotten captured by the desert hippies, and..."
All of a sudden, Martyn's grip on Ren's hand tightened. Painfully so, to the point where Ren hissed in pain.
"How did you know they captured me, huh?"
Ren shivered upon the realization. Especially when he saw the cold anger and disappointment in Martyn's eyes. He loosened his grip ever so slightly, but enough for Ren to lose his balance and struggle to grab the wall again.
"Dude, wait, wait- Listen! I- I swear, I saw it-"
"In my journal? You did read it. Not only that, you let that slip like a fool."
Martyn immediately released his grip on Ren, letting the man fall to the ground. Ren groaned painfully as he hit the ground for the second time that day. This time he fell from nowhere near as high, but it was enough for his spine to flare up in pain. For a few moments, his whole body went numb, rendering him unable to react as Martyn landed next to him. The weapon in the blond man's weapon was a clear indicator. As the names of Joel and Pearl appeared on the chat as the newly fallen, Ren was soon to join them. And he was powerless to stop it.
"My own team hated me, because I had to lie to them! And you lied to me for no reason!" Martyn blew up at his friend, pulling down his scarf. His whole body was shaking from emotions that bubbled to the surface. "You claim you care about me, but you keep lying doing all this weird, shady shit! And for what? Just to make me feel bad, and insecure? Well great job! I lost my team, because I wanted to stay with you! And once I did, you lied to me again !"
"Martyn..."
"I don't even know why you're so obsessed with me! I barely know you, yet you act like we're best friends! Why? Just to torture me again?!"
"Dude, no, wait..."
The moment Ren regained feeling in his body, he attempted to sit up - only to have Martyn lean over him and put his sword to the dog's throat. Ren froze in place and shut his eyes tight.
It was like with the beheading. Out of every possibility, he never saw this coming.
"I should just slit your throat, and let you choke on your own rotting blood... That will shut you up, at last."
"Martyn..."
"What? What do you wanna say?" Martyn growled.
"I... I love you."
The words were like a gutpunch, a backstabbing, and a kick in the unmentionable places, all at once. It sounded laughable... Ren, out of everyone, loved him. The guy who lied to him, who kept making up weird stuff, talking about things that never happened... Yet, despite everything, Martyn felt the awful, disgusting urge to say it back. Why? He should hate Ren, after everything he put him through... The repeating lies, the failed tests... He groaned and grabbed the sword, his hand trembling from the emotions.
"Damnit, Ren! You can't just say that!"
"Martyn, my dude, please!-"
A squelching, wet sound cut through the air. The metallic scent of rotting blood reached them both. Martyn released his hold on the sword, which was now sticking out of Ren's stomach. The dog's whole body tensed, his mouth filling up with blood.
"Now you can lie. Say it was a lie." Martyn growled at him. "Say it! Say you don't love me! C'mon! Say it was another lie!"
Ren fell to his side, his own blood pooling around himself. Martyn's words reached him, but they were muffled and difficult to make out. He could pick up on his emotions, however. Pain. Betrayal. Confusion. Passion, which was probably channeled in the wrong direction.
"Say it!"
But Martyn didn't get an answer. He didn't know whether Ren was dead - he definitely wasn't responsive, but his death message did not appear on chat yet... A boiling, bitter taste of sorrow immediately spreaded through his body, filling his stomach with regrets and his eyes with tears. Martyn moved back, pulling down his hood and beginning to cackle maniacally.
"You lied... You lied, right, Ren...? You lied!"
He was no longer asking, since he was aware he wouldn't get an answer. All he could do was convince himself that this was the case - Ren's last desperate attempt at saving his own skin.
A ridiculous attempt... Ren was better than this. He could probably come up with a better lie... Then why didn't he...? Martyn backed off, his whole body stiff and tense from the pain that ran through him. What was he supposed to do, now that he killed someone who just confessed his feelings to him...? He only had one idea left. He took one last look back at dying Ren, before he turned around and ran away.
Another wave of deranged laughter crossed the air, as Martyn escaped the crime scene. He pulled on his hair and punched his temples with his own bloodied hands. He could only help that Ren was dead, and no longer suffering... A tiny part of him tried convincing him that this was what the dog deserved. A bigger chunk however was sure that he doomed this relationship. Again.
Martyn looked down at his wristband. Ren's death message did not appear yet, for whatever reason... And aside from them, there was only one player left. The man stopped in the middle of the forest, looking around in a desperate attempt to find him and finish this.
"C'mon, Scott! Come here, you coward!"
He barely knew Scott. He remembered seeing him in passing a few times, especially during his siege of Dogwarts. He was probably not a big problem. He was just a guy that seemed to like him in a... Weird way. Well, at least he had no reason to, anymore.
"Come on! Let's finish this already! I killed Ren, you're next!"
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny crystal. He found a bunch of them when he looked through Mumbo's old bunker. He remembered them... It was the same one which his old lover used to kill him. And he managed to get his hands on one, to finally finish it. He tightened his grip and held it over his head, like a prize.
"Come and get some, Scott! I'm not afraid of y-"
Until, all of a sudden, an arrow whizzed through the air. It hit Martyn's hand - more precisely, the crystal he was holding. In an instant, the crystal exploded in his hands. A loud boom shook the whole forest.
Inthelittlewood was blown up by Smajor1995.
"Finally..." Scott sighed, gently sliding down a tree branch he was sitting on. All that remained of the clearly deranged player was a hole in the ground, and his robes covering the nearby trees. Only his journal looked unscathed, as it fell to the ground. Scott looked down on the ground, but didn't grab the book. It didn't matter, either way. Instead, he took a glance at his own wristband. "Wait, Ren's not dead... Is he still back at the Southlands...?"
Ren tried his best to pull himself after Martyn, but his body gave out long ago. That didn't mean he died right away, though. As if the Watchers wanted to keep him alive, just to watch him suffer. So he just laid there, in a pool of his own blood and bodily fluids, quietly waiting to finally bleed out and close his eyes for good. His ears twitched ever so slightly when he heard a distant explosion. And then, several minutes later, footsteps approached him.
"Martyn...?"
"Ren? What happened?"
Ren sighed. It was Scott... Good. It was about to end right then and there. He knew what was coming. He wished he could look up at his friend, but his head felt as if it was made of lead.
"Scott... Dude... Finish me, please..."
"W-what? Wait, what happened? Why did Martyn leave you here like this? What is going on, why?"
"Scott."
The blue-haired man inhaled sharply. Ren was right... He was clearly in agony. He needed to end this quickly, for both their sakes. He looked up at the sky. The night was growing colder around them. They both needed to be laid to rest.
"Okay... I'm sorry."
"Don't... You did good. See you."
Scott put his bow up to Ren's throat. He closed his eyes, before releasing the arrow. One last whiff crossed through the dog's throat, before it got pierced in a lethal blow.
Finally, he could rest. At least until he would see them again.
Notes:
Wow, I really enjoyed writing this one! And my writing software finally stopped crashing, yippie!
A quick disclaimer - I'll try to get one more chapter published this week, but after that, I'll be taking a break until I'm done with my exams. I may write a little bit in my spare time, but I really need to focus. And I didn't want to leave you on a cliffhanger, so I decided to add this chapter before I disappear. So, after the next one releases, don't expect me to post until 6th of February at earliest. If I post something in the meantime, yell at me. And also, if you haven't already, you can read my other fics while I'm gone! I heard some of them are really good! Thanks again for all the support, you guys are awesome!
Chapter 20: INTERMISSION: The hound who howled at the moon
Summary:
TW: Mentions of gore
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Right after waking up in the void, Ren desperately gasped for air. It was bitter and freezing cold - but at least he was no longer choking on his own blood. His whole body was shaking from pain he no longer felt, yet still rocked him to his very core. His head buzzed and whirred, like it was going to explode at any moment. The feeling of his blood boiling under his skin was unlike anything he had ever felt - and through tens of loops he went through, he felt quite a few awful things.
This was new. Usually after perishing, he was able to recompose quite quickly. Not this time. Both the mental and the physical turmoil he put himself through made his arrival at the abyss pure agony. He wanted to rip his skin out, pull his blunt claws through his decomposing muscle tissue and tear his bones from his body. Anything, to stop this pain.
But above all, he felt as if he just hit rock bottom.
He got so close to getting through to Martyn, to getting his lover to trust him again - only to lose sight of his mission immediately. And now, Martyn probably hated him even more than he already did. The dog whimpered quietly. He curled up into a tight ball, which sent him spinning in the endless vastness of the empty space. It felt as if he was taking one step forward, and then five steps back. Slipping further and further from what he promised himself he'd get for himself and his beloved. Something he believed they both deserved... But what if he was wrong? What if, after all, they were destined to never get their happily ever after?
"You said you had an idea. That you could fix it this time. What happened, Uranus?"
<Rendog> Oh fuck off, you freaks
In an instant, the player was surrounded by a circle of hooded, cryptic figures. At that point, it felt like he recognized some of them. Mostly by their wings. Anyone probably would, if they spent as much time here as he did.
"We told you. Your attempts are futile. You cannot save him. Not to mention, you're on a brink of destroying yourself as well."
<Rendog> Thanks, I haven't noticed
<Rendog> You could at least stop pretending you care
"We already told you, we don't. You're just being a nuisance, Uranus."
<Rendog> Damn right I am
The man wanted to speak up again, but his mouth immediately filled with a disgusting, rotting taste. Freezing cold chills went down his spine, paralyzing his body for a few agonizing seconds. He really tried to hold it all back, to not appear weak in front of the Watchers - until he couldn't do it anymore, and he threw up the disgusting pulp that his slowly decomposing body made. It was mostly composed of void matter, his own rotting blood, as well as... A few lines of code. His code - the very code that made up his very existence. It was if he just threw up his own DNA in its clearest form. That was... Concerning, to say the least.
<Rendog> This shouldn't happen, should it?
"It should not. The void rot is catching up to you, Uranus. You should take our warnings more seriously."
<Rendog> Over my dead body.
"It probably won't be long, then."
Ren shuddered. To try and calm down his sudden rush of anxiety, he started playing with his own hair, and massaging his dog-like ears. It only gave him a brief moment of solace, but the idea of his body slowly giving up on him was too much to just push aside. He really had to put in a lot of work to not break in front of all these pesky Watchers. But he had to keep going, he couldn't give up yet... It wasn't just for his sake, but also for Martyn's...
<Rendog> You really aren't making this easy for me, are you?
"You asked for this, Uranus. Have you forgotten?"
<Rendog> No I haven't, thanks for-
Before he could even finish the sentence, a rustle of tens of wings boomed over his head. Just moments later, they were no longer surrounded by the endless void. Instead, both Ren and the surrounding Watchers appeared on a summit of a tall mountain. The area was completely destroyed, repeatedly blown up and burned, with only a scorched ring of bamboo around the rim of the summit remaining. Ren knew that sight all too well. If he could turn back, he could easily pinpoint every other spot on this server's map. The bridges right under the mountain, and a ruined tower on one of their edges. Three colorful bases down south, each of them ranging from damaged to completely destroyed. A blown up car-like structure, accompanied by a smaller, burned down house. A base surrounded by stone walls somewhere deep in the forest, and somewhat saved from all the carnage. But, above all, the most important place, barely touched by the chaos that once spreaded through the server - a little hill, west from where he currently was. He couldn't move, but he could barely make it out in the corner of his eyes. The one place he once named Renwood mound. One, which was supposed to serve as his and his lover's safe haven.
A purpose it never managed to fulfill. Not in this timeline, or any other.
In the middle of the summit, a sobbing mess of a man knelt on the ground over a freshly slain corpse. His whole body was shaking from emotions, unraveling at his both metaphorical and literal stitches. His whole body was covered in deep, bleeding wounds, with half of his face split into two, with dark stitches attempting at keeping him together.
One half, a man who lost everything.
The other, his lover, the one he desperately tried to hold close to the very end.
Ren sighed quietly upon seeing that miserable, almost embarrassing image. He wished he could still feel what he did back then. But alas, that was part of his wish. He was to remember, but not to experience. And now, all he could do was watch the ones who took him for his word. All he could do was watch .
The crying man sat up on the grass. He attempted to tie up his long hair, half brown and half blond, with his shaking hands. Even his arms appeared mismatched - one more tanned, muscular and hairy, while the other paler and skinnier. In his case, even such a simple process was a struggle for him. Each breath was a struggle, as a pair of mismatched lungs struggled for air. Insides of two different people forced together, unable to keep them alive for much longer. The only thing that looked somewhat alike between the two star-crossed halves was their eyes. Both a light, peaceful blue, resembling the sky. Both sorrowful, filled with agony of their forced existence. Both desperately yearning to be put to rest at last.
But they were not destined to stay. Not like this. Not together.
Before the broken player could finally fall, it was suddenly surrounded by a circle of winged creatures. Startled and shocked, he raised his head. Ren opened his mouth, as if wanting to call out to him and stop him. But, he had to remain silent. Not as if his old self could even hear him.
"What do you wish for, winner?"
"Winner...?" The stitched up man repeated silently. "Why do you call us that? We're just... We're Martren..."
"You are the last one standing of the game, winner. As such, you may be granted one wish of your choosing. But be warned, for each wish has its price."
"Can you... Can you bring back Martyn...? I- We... I wanna see him again..." Martren whispered, hanging his head down, his one dog-like ear pinning down.
"Is that your wish, Uranus?"
"Ura-" Martyn chuckled, finding a moment of comfort in that question despite the agony welling up in his body, wrecking him from the inside. His breathing was more and more strained, he was slumping more and more. Whatever kept him alive for so long, was clearly running out. At that point, Ren actually started wondering how he managed to survive this so long every time. After all, to keep the cycle going, he not only had to survive, but slay all of his enemies. "I, yes... I wanna see him again... I want to give him- Give us a happy ending... So that we can be happy together..." His chuckle quickly turned into messy sobbing. "Please... I'll do anything..."
Don't... Ren mouthed silently, taking off his own sunglasses as he watched the past version of himself commit the same mistake he did, and continued doing it over and over again.
"What would you do for him, Uranus?"
"A- Anything! I'd do anything for him, I-" The moment he raised his tone, he began coughing, his insides slowly collapsing on themselves as they couldn't keep working properly in their mangled form. "I'll do anything... I would rebuild Dogwarts from scratch, just for him... Please"
"So shall it be. Yours will be done."
"Thank you..." Martren whispered, his dog tail beginning to wag ever so slightly - until in an instant, his body went limp and dropped on the ground. In an instant, the whole server vanished, leaving Ren suspended in the endless void with the Watchers. He sighed, rubbing his temples and struggling to hold back tears upon seeing that. At that point, he didn't know which was worse - the sheer idea that he put them through so much for his little fantasy, or the fact that he was willing to do it again.
<Rendog> You can't change my mind with this.
"Unfortunately. Just be aware, Uranus. You'll succumb to the void sooner than you'll be able to fulfill your naive wish. There is no thing as a happy ending. Especially not for monsters like you."
Ren rolled his eyes. He didn't want to admit they were probably right. He was a monster. Who else would go to such lengths and burn so many bridges for their goal? He shook his head and punched his temple. It was no longer about them, or just him. It was about Martyn. Giving up or failing was not an option. Even if that was going to be his downfall.
"You should be pulled away from the games, Uranus. Your body is going to break faster if you aren't."
<Rendog> I don't care
<Rendog> I'm ready to proceed
"As you wish. Yours will be done."
<Rendog> It will
It was quite obvious that Ren wasn't ready. His body was still shaken by the repetitive waves of agony. The pain made it a struggle to even keep himself together. If he was to be thrown into the next game, he would probably be more of a liability, rather than actual help. Especially since he knew what game was coming next.
He could only hope that his soulmate would be able to accept his less than stellar performance.
Notes:
Like I mentioned in the last chapter, I will be taking a break for the next week or so. I really need to focus on my exams. But hey, if you wanna read my other work, now is the perfect time to do so, and I'd be so happy to see you comment both here, and on my other work!
Chapter 21: The two kinds of soul binds
Summary:
The new game begins. Ren needs to invest in another relationship for a change.
Notes:
GUYS I'M BACK I SURVIVED
My self inflicted ban on writing is finished and I'm done with my first semester of college. Now I have a well earned break for the rest of February TwT
I hope I didn't get too rusty during my break and that you still enjoy my writing! I missed you guys so much!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Welcome to Double Life!"
Scott did not have a lot of time to get used to being the latest winner. Right after the last star dimmed down on his night sky, all of the players woke up on the next side of the server. A large area, crossed by a river down in a deep ravine, with multiple different forests covering the land. Not every player made it, this time. More strangely, a few of them were missing.
Good for them.
Waking up right after being impaled and then shot was not the most pleasant experience in Ren's way too long life. The soft touch of wet grass was the closest thing he could get to a comfortable bed. His body yearned for the mythical five more minutes of sleep - even though in his case, even five months of extra sleep wouldn't be enough to fix the damage. He quietly groaned and covered his eyes with his forearm, not letting any sunlight blind him. Just a moment, he just needed to collect his remaining strength and pull himself back up, back into the game, back into yet another loop...
Oh, yeah. It was Double Life this time.
Ren let out a loud, pained groan, which could probably be mistaken with a zombie's grunt. Maybe he wasn't all that far from them, looking at how void ravaged his body and was slowly poisoning him from the inside. The dog took a deep, shaky breath, then pulled himself up into a sitting position. A few dozen meters from them, Grian was already explaining the rules - but he couldn't care less. He knew everything he needed to know. The soulmates, who made it and who didn't. The Watchers never told him why certain players disappeared during certain games, most often consistently between loops. Not that he cared. As long as Martyn wasn't the one to vanish.
Oh, yeah. Martyn.
Ren's last words to Martyn still whirred in his head. To tell his emotionally unstable friend that he loved him? That was a new low, even for Ren. He knew he was already reaching a new low, but that was more akin to digging himself a grave in front of him. No wonder his lover - who doesn't even know that he is - freaked out. Ren could only wish he would've been dealt with in a more... Swift manner, instead of being left to bleed out.
Maybe this time, he could leave Martyn be for a moment? If everything was to play out the way he expected it to, his friend probably needed some space. Not to mention, Ren had another relationship he needed to tend to.
Finally, Ren gathered enough energy to pull himself up from the ground and shakily head towards spawn - a short, overgrown hill in the middle of an oak forest. Only the tip of his tail wagged, with the rest of it seemingly made of lead and too heavy to keep upright. He pulled his legs on the ground, not even noticing when he accidentally bumped his shoulder against a tree. All he had to do now was find his soulmate, gather some resources with him, build the same ugly as sin house on the edge of the server and just try and get through it...
Until, all of a sudden, he felt someone punch him right in the shoulder.
Ren grunted in pain and stumbled back, almost falling to the ground. What the hell was that? Another tree branch that just got in his way with an explicit goal to piss him off? Immediately, his tail curled between his legs, and his dog ears perked down in a defensive gesture.
"Oh... So it's not you."
Once Ren finally noticed that the punch was courtesy of Martyn, who somehow found himself in front of his 'friend', he sighed with relief. He really wished he could properly wag his tail at that moment.
"Hi, dude..." He huffed, a faint, tired smile crossing his face.
Martyn clearly didn't look all that well. His Shadow Alliance robes were gone, obviously, forcing him back into his old shirt and shorts. The short sleeves did not do much to hide the wide palette of bruises and half-healed burns on his shoulders and legs. Oh, yeah. He met a pretty violent end. Even if Ren wasn't there to see it, hearing it was enough to assess the damage.
"You look... Different." Martyn muttered, immediately looking away from Ren. It wasn't like he was staring at a strange guy he barely knew. Or that he already looked at him enough to be able to tell the difference. Or that he really cared. Just a quick, thoughtless observation.
"So do you." Ren replied, a tinge of amusement in his tone. Even while dead tired, he did whatever he could to reassure Martyn by keeping his voice light and playful. Maybe that would finally snap him back. If that was even a possibility. "Scott got you, didn't he...?"
"Bastard..." Martyn groaned and rolled his eyes, then rested his back against a tree. His blue eyes, even when full of anger and frustrations, were the most beautiful sight to Ren. Like a reflection of a calm, yet mysterious sea. And every time his emotions got stronger, the sea seemingly turned into a violent force of nature. Ren could only silently wish that once they were finally free from this hell, he could spend the rest of his days staring out into this big, beautiful sea. "And he got you too, didn't he?"
"Well, I didn't really have a way to run, with a sword through my stomach." Ren admitted with a silly grin. Martyn hummed and shrugged.
"Fair point. Sorry about that, I guess. I, uh... Panicked."
Martyn bit his lip and puffed out his cheek, not sure what else to add. He was aware how dumb the excuse sounded. He literally yelled at Ren, pushed him down a wall, stabbed him and then yelled some more. And all of that, just to say that he 'panicked'? Ren will probably make fun of him, and rightfully so...
"It's fine, dude. I get it."
Martyn's eyes widened ever so slightly, he tilted his head to the side. Oh. So he was right. Ren really was weird. But, strangely enough, it was the nice kind of weird. The "too nice to me" kind of weird. A "how the hell do you put up with me" kind of weird. Maybe even a "your weirdness could be my safe space" kind of weird. Quickly, he looked away, to not let the fondness in his expression betray his lingering mistrust.
"But... We're not soulbound, are we?" Martyn pointed out. "So when you said you love me, you... Lied...?"
"What? No, no! Dude, baby-" He put his hands on Martyn's shoulders. "This soulmate system is bullshit, man. Half of the pairs either hate each other, or will by the end of the game."
"There you go, mysteriously knowing more than everyone else. Again." Martyn chuckled and put one hand on Ren's palm. The surprisingly gentle touch was enough to get his tail wagging again. "Speaking of... You seem to know what's going on with all the games, right?"
"Uhh... I guess...?"
"So... Since you're not my soulmate... Can you give me a cheeky hint at who it is?"
Ren nervously chuckled at the suggestion. He was fully aware he shouldn't. That would be breaking the rules - and as much as he was willing to bend time and space to help his partner, bending the rules seemed a tad bit too risky. His tail quit wagging again. How could he say no to this charismatic cutie? Every time he saw him, it was like he was falling for him all over again, each time deeper and deeper...
"I- I don't think I can... I mean, uh, if I knew, dude... Not saying that I do!" He started stumbling through his words. "C'mon, man, you'll figure it out eventually! Telling you and not her wouldn't be very fa-"
"Her?" A big, cheeky grin immediately crossed Martyn's face. "Ha! So you know who it is, don't you?"
Crap.
"No, no, wait, I mean-"
"You said her, that means it's-" Martyn looked down at his wristband, at the players list. It took him a moment of scrolling to make an educated guess. Mostly because he barely interacted with any of the players that Ren could refer to as 'she'. There was Cleo, who he fought after the Fairy fort burned down - and that, aside from her yelling at him once, was about that. There was Pearl, someone he didn't even really remember meeting during the last game. And there was Li- Well, there was not a sign of Lizzie on the player list. Strange. "It's either Pearl or Cleo, unless I don't know something..."
That was perfect, honestly. He had a fifty-fifty chance to be paired with someone who he barely knew... Which means they didn't hate him. Yet. Similar to how it was with Mumbo... But Mumbo wasn't around this time. Martyn had another chance to either make a new relationship burn, or have front row seats to see it crash and burn again. Maybe it was for the better that he wasn't linked with Ren. The guy already looked like he'd been through too much for a single man.
"Thanks, dude." Martyn patted him on the shoulder with a big grin, then turned around, ready to leave. "Oh, and one more thing!"
"Yeah?"
"You look kinda cute with one ear flopped. Seeya!"
Ren opened his mouth to answer, but the only thing that slipped his mouth was a messy, embarrassed squeal. Did Martyn just call him cute ? Martyn? Him? Cute?! His face immediately went red, to the point where he had to cover it with his hands. For a brief second, he felt like a little kid, noticed by his crush for the first time. That one compliment was gonna bounce off his memories for the rest of his life, for sure-
Wait a second. What did he mean by that, exactly?
Ren headed towards a cave opening nearby, while reaching to touch his fluffy dog ears. Usually they were perked right up, giving him a little bit of extra height - but it didn't take much for Ren to notice that his left ear was, indeed, flopped halfway. Or was it right? So many games in, he still sometimes struggled telling apart left and right. Either way, that was... New. Concerning? Maybe. But, most of all, new. And if Martyn said it looked cute, it had to be a good thing. Right?
Ren knew fully well where to find his soulmate. Every time, they met roughly in the same spot, in the same circumstances. So, right after making himself a set of basic stone tools, he headed into a nearby cave. At that point, he could only hope that the Watchers didn't suddenly decide to switch everything around and match every player with someone else. Not like the pairings ever changed throughout all the games Ren witnessed. That was his one source of comfort, at least. As much as he'd do anything for Martyn, the knowledge that he had another person, who was kind and loyal to him was reassuring. And so far, teaming up with him never really had a chance to blow up in his face. At least not yet.
"BigB?" He called out, the echo his voice carried down the stone shafts.
Soon enough, the other player's head popped out of one of the cave corridors. He looked quite surprised to see Ren. Oh, yeah. He didn't know. And even if he did, he was really good at keeping his cards close to his chest. That much Ren remembered.
"Heya, Ren!" The man waved at him. "You alright? I didn't see you at spawn, did you get lost?"
"You could say that..." Ren chuckled and approached him. Suddenly, a wave of insecurity hit him, filling his chest with an unpleasant heat. "B, my dude? Do I look different...?"
BigB stared at him up and down, humming and scratching his stubble. He had these piercing, amber eyes that seemed to look straight through someone's soul. They made Ren feel exposed, almost naked.
"Oh, yea! Your ear flopped, didn't it? Can you hear through it?"
"I think so... Maybe not as well, but I don't think I'm going deaf just yet." Ren chuckled. He slowly approached his soon-to-be soulmate. At this point, he just had to commit. For the sake of them both. "Are you paired with anyone, my dude?"
"No, not yet... Why? You wanna try?"
"It wouldn't hurt, right?- Okay, I guess, it would hurt, either you, or us both... You know what I mean, dude!"
"I guess..." BigB snickered, clearly amused by Ren's messy antics. "Do the honors, then?"
"Right, right... Here goes nothin'..."
Ren was fully aware it was not gonna be 'nothing'. He didn't even need to push all that much force into the punch. A light punch to BigB's shoulder resulted in a jolt of pain rushing through his own body. The half-dog folded in half, clutching his aching spot and cursing under his breath. Why did it hurt this much more? The Watchers were just messing with him, weren't they? He gasped for air, his whole arm tingling as if it had just been marked with molten steel. Immediately, BigB grabbed his shoulder and supported him.
"Hey, dude! You okay?" He asked, concern evident in his usually calm, indifferent tone. "I think we're linked, but... What's going on?"
"I'm just... Not feelin' well, my dude." Ren finally admitted with an embarrassed smile. "But it's fine, don't worry about me..."
"Easy to say... You look like you almost passed out." BigB carefully tapped his shoulder, in a reassuring manner. "Look, I have just a bit more iron to mine out. You just sit here, and once I'm done, we can leave and look for a place to stay. Deal?"
"...Deal."
Ren sat down on a big, flat rock, right next to where BigB was mining out his iron ore. The rhythmic ringing of his pickaxe against stone was strangely comforting. He didn't mind having to spend the game with him, for a change. Amidst all the chaos and pain he forced his way into, BigB was like an anchor to him. He was sometimes a little cryptic, a little strange... But a good, loyal friend nonetheless. And if they were linked as usual, everyone else probably was as well. Which also meant Martyn's soulmate was still waiting for him... Good. That means no more surprises.
Or at least that's all he could hope for at this point.
Notes:
Btw, now that I'm done with my finals, I could spend some time on... I dunno, maybe making a Discord server for those of you who enjoy my writing and want to chat about it? Would you guys be interested in joining? Lemme know if you are!
Chapter 22: You can't get burned if you never ignite
Summary:
Martyn gets close to making another ally, but alas - if you don't get close to someone, you can't get hurt.
Chapter Text
There was one strategy that always worked for Martyn throughout all the games - if he couldn't make any friends, he could at least spread some mischief. It worked quite well every time. At least up until it was the time for him to go from fucking around to finding out. This time however, it was early into a new game, and nobody was standing over him making sure he didn't do anything dumb. Finally, he could spread some chaos without a care in the world.
Or at least that's what he planned to do.
Not many people seemed bothered with the trouble he brought with himself anywhere Martyn went. Quite the opposite, actually. The more he walked around, the more he saw people actually enjoying themselves with their soulmates. With some exceptions, maybe - seeing Grian absolutely mourn the fact he was paired with Scar was quite hilarious. Teasing the temperamental Joel was not so easy once he found his soulmate in the calm, stoic Etho. Bdubs and Impulse acted like a married couple from the first moments Martyn saw them, a sight that made him want to puke. Once the server claimed its first victims in the form of Tango and Jimmy, Martyn immediately went to join them at spawn and make fun of them. However, his bullying was met with Jimmy's caring, understanding gestures towards Tango, once again detering him from trying further. It was quite discouraging, really. If he couldn't be paired with the only person he wanted (if he had to, of course. Not that he would want to be paired with Ren. That guy was a freak. But, if he absolutely had to be paired with someone, it'd probably, most likely, definitely be Ren), why should anyone else? The more he saw happy couples all around himself, the more lonely he felt. And he wasn't the normal type of loneliness, with him just not having anyone to open his mouth to. It was the type of loneliness that felt like an arrow to his back anytime he saw someone happy and cherished around. The type that made him feel sick in his stomach, and wonder whether that was the punishment for his jackassery for the past two games-
No, it can't be a punishment. I've tried. I've genuinely tried, both with Ren and with Mumbo. It's not my fault it didn't work, right? Ren gave me a test and I failed it, fine. But if he never tried to test me, I never would've failed. And if Grian wasn't on my ass the whole time, maybe me and Mumbo could work out. Yeah, it's not my fault.
Then why do I still feel so awful?
I haven't felt my soulmate yet, nor have I seen Cleo or Pearl. Maybe it's not actually them. Maybe I don't actually have a soulmate. Maybe I'm just unlovable. Yeah, that would check out.
I just hope that whoever is paired with Ren knows how lucky they are
"Hey Martyn!"
The man almost jumped as he heard someone notice him in the depths of a cave. He literally just sat down for a moment to write down how he was feeling, and that was all it took for him to get jumped. He pulled his journal close to his chest, then looked up. He could only assume that the tall woman in front of him was Pearl. Her dark blue, yet energetic eyes were scouting him closely, and she had a pickaxe resting over her shoulder. It just happened that they bumped into each other, didn't it? Maybe it was, in fact, a sign... Maybe Martyn guessed right.
"O-oh... Hi." He muttered and hid his journal in his hoodie. He took it off earlier, but the chill of the cave forced him to put it back on. "Wait, you're Pearl, right? I barely saw you around last time..."
"I only heard about you, to be honest. That you were quite a menace."
"My reputation precedes me, I guess," Martyn grinned and got up from the ground. "Have you found your soulmate yet?"
"No... I haven't really felt them, either. I guess I'll find them eventually..."
Martyn couldn't help but smile under his breath. Was he right? If none of them felt their soulmate, that means they could very well be paired with each other, and-
The man silently took a deep breath, calming himself down. That was a bit too fast. He wasn't ready to commit yet. He could try teaming up with Pearl, at least for now. But he was ready to bounce once things went south. Once it slips from under his control. So that he doesn't end up hurt by another person.
"Y'know, we can team up for now, if you want to." Martyn suggested. "I was going to go to the Nether either way... You can tag along, if you want to."
"Sure, why not!"
While Martyn was setting up the portal next to a pool of lava, Pearl mined out any and all ores she could find. Martyn couldn't stop but look at her every now and then. She didn't seem to be much of a threat... He barely remembered seeing her in the previous game, he wasn't even sure who she teamed up with. Once again, he got a chance to start with a blank slate... All she knew was that he was a troublemaker. The less she knew about what he's done, the better.
"Who were you teamed up with last time?" He asked out of the blue. The more he knew, the better he knew how to prepare.
"Oh, I was with Scott and Cleo..."
"Cleo? She burned down the Fairy fort." Martyn repeated almost mindlessly.
"Oh, yeah! I'm pretty sure she had a beef with BigB. They didn't like talking about it, so I didn't ask..."
Martyn silently nodded, as he finished shaping the portal. The freshly formed obsidian warmed his hand in a pleasing manner.
"What about you?"
"I- uhhh..." The man stumbled over his words. It was a bit of a complicated question. But he didn't have to say everything , right? "I was... Well, with the Southlanders... Grian, Impulse, Jimmy and... And Mumbo. But then I left, lived with Ren for a while, and... Left again, I guess."
"Right, Ren mentioned you!"
"He did?" Martyn immediately straightened up, barely avoiding banging his head against the portal frame.
"Yeah! I bumped into him at the end of the last game... He asked me if I knew where you were. I didn't, so he killed me."
"Oh! Oh. Uh, um... The portal's ready. C'mon."
The moment both of the players crossed the portal to enter Nether, they were hit with a wave of unbearable heat. A wave so strong, it took them a while to get used to it, at least to a point where they could breath the scorching hot air. Their ears were filled with the hiss of boiling lakes of lava, grunts of Piglins and bloodchilling moans of Ghasts. One wrong step could send them straight into an unpleasant, painful death of burning, or being cut to pieces. In other words, a usual day in the hellish dimension. Once their breathing stabilized to a point where they didn't have to focus on it just to stay alive, Martyn immediately started gathering the valuable resources around their portal.
"Why'd we need so much quartz?" Pearl asked, her pickaxe rhythmically hitting a vein of gold she found nearby.
"A safe source of EXP... We gotta take the enchanter at some point, right? So we should be prepared..."
"Oh, right... Do we know where it is?"
"No idea... But the others don't either, I think. And that's good."
Pearl snickered upon hearing that.
"You don't like people, do ya, mate?"
"No... I'd rather stay on my own, as a one man army," he said with a confident grin.
"Oh really? Then why did you bring me here with you?"
"Well- Uh, well..." He chuckled, not sure how to answer. "Well, it's not that I want you here, I just- Just asked whether you wanna come!"
"You don't want me here?"
Martyn cursed under his breath, as he realized how bad that sounded.
"Wait, wait, no, I didn't mean it! What I meant is..." He started speaking slower, as if to buy himself more time. His tone picked up pace as he finally got another idea on how to save his skin. "I didn't expect you to come with me! I would've been fine on my own, but as long as you're not holding me back, you can stay..."
"Oh. Wow. I'm honored."
The disappointment in her voice was tangible, and Martyn immediately felt even worse than he already did. What happened to his ability to tell people exactly what they needed to hear? Instead, he was just fumbling every single sentence. If he messed this up, there'd be hardly anyone on the server who'd want to still team up with him... He needed to fix this, and needed to be quick. He looked through his inventory, as an idea popped into his head.
"Wait! Pearl, here, look!"
The woman rolled her eyes, then turned towards Martyn. In just a minute or two, the man mined out a bit of gold, which he used to craft a golden apple - which he just handed to her as a peace offering. Pearl glared at him, slowly getting up with the man's antics.
"Martyn... You know that we can't use golden apples this time around, right?"
"...we can't?"
"Yeah. Grian said so, mate."
Crap. Maybe listening to Grian was sometimes a good idea.
"Okay, fine, I didn't listen... But can you blame me? It's Grian!"
Pearl looked up and down at her companion, then let out a soft chuckle.
"Fine, you have a point, I guess."
Despite what she just stated, Pearl took a bite out of the apple. Her eyes lit up for just a second, as the infused power of the enchantment ran through her body. Seeing his almost-ally break the rules in such a clear way got Martyn to smile in a cheeky way. It almost felt as if the power of the golden apple got shared between them.
"Breaking the rules, are we?"
Pearl shuddered.
"Hey, I'm not hurting my soulmate, whoever he is, right?"
After just a bite, Pearl grabbed the apple and tossed it aside. The toss was a bit too strong for her own good, however - the apple ended up hitting one of the nearby Piglins in the head. The monsters previously didn't even notice the two players - but now, aggravated, immediately let out a low, angry grunt and ran right at them.
"Shit- Pearl, watch out!"
Without even thinking, Martyn jumped to Pearl's defense, parrying the Piglin's gold sword with his own iron one. The monster kicked him in the side, but as it tried to attack the woman, she grabbed her own weapon and slashed the mutant pig right in the artery. The brown blood spilled from the injured monster, spraying on Pearl's face. She reached out and grabbed Martyn by his hood, pulling him back up.
"I can handle a few pigs," she muttered under her breath, readying her weapon for another onslaught.
"Yeah, but I think we'll have to handle a few more than a few pigs soon." Martyn added with a nervous chuckle. He gathered himself up from the ground, his skin scratched on the rough netherrack, and his ribs no longer aching from the kick he received. "Should we bounce?"
"We'll be fine!" Pearl smirked. "C'mon, don't be sucha scaredy cat!"
They were, in fact, fine for a while longer. Martyn wasn't even exactly sure why he wanted to run - it was never the battle he feared. Especially when he was fighting just a horde of monsters, instead of other players. He could blow off some steam, let out all his build up emotions and not care about any repercussions... At least as long as they had the upper hand. However, it quickly started feeling as if with every Piglin slain, two more appeared. They were outnumbered from the start, but soon after, they got properly overwhelmed by the mutants.
"Maybe you wanna run now?" Pearl suggested, panting as she barely avoided another hit from a different monster.
"Yeah, sure, why not!"
Both of them stumbled back into the portal, fighting the approaching Piglins to not let them get too close. The moment they were transported back, both of them fell on the stone floor of the cave, struggling to catch their breath. Both of them were covered in bruises and cuts, and they lost a bunch of their resources as they ran away. But at least they were safe.
"Finally... Let's get outta here..."
By the time they left the cave, it was already dark outside. They didn't have a place to stay, or even any idea where they were. All they could really do was stay where they were, and wait for the moon to hide under the horizon. They still had the whole next day to figure out what to do...
"Pearl?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you show me your arm?"
Pearl looked at him quite confused, but ultimately pulled up her sleeve. So did Martyn, as if to compare the damage they received during the fight. Their cuts and bruises didn't exactly align, as one would suggest if the damage received by them was shared. And it could only mean one thing. Martyn didn't even have to say it, as Pearl picked up on it right away.
"We aren't linked, are we?"
"I don't think so."
Without another word of explanation, Martyn got up from his spot. He grabbed his pickaxe and left the cave behind, ready to never look back at it again. Or at Pearl, who looked after him in confusion.
"Martyn? Wait, Martyn, where are you going?"
"We aren't linked, right? What's the point?"
At first, it didn't even matter to him if they were linked or not. He didn't want this to become anything permanent. He didn't want to get hurt in another relationship again. And now that he made sure, he was ready to burn another bridge. Unfortunately, he wasn't met with a similar response.
"Hang on- We spent half of the day together, fought together and all! And now you're just ditching me? For who?"
"For nobody." Martyn shrugged. "We had our fun, but I told you. I'd rather be on my own."
"So all of this didn't matter, right? Sure, yeah... I guess I expected too much of you. Where are you gonna go, either way?"
"Nowhere."
"So why not just stay?"
Martyn stood there for a moment, pondering the idea. Someone actually wanting to team up with him, someone wanting him to stay... Sounded like a perfect recipe for another disaster. And the best thing he could do, in his opinion, was spare Pearl the fate of ending up just like Ren, or Mumbo. Without even answering her question, he tightened his grip on his pickaxe and turned away. She'll thank him sooner or later.
Chapter 23: Soul-wound
Summary:
TW: Mentions of breaking bones
Martyn finds out who his soulmate is. None of them is particularily pleased about it.
Notes:
Ngl, I wasn't exactly happy with the ending of the last chapter (I blame Martyn distracting me with a Rats SMP stream). But I have a few ideas on how to fix that. Starting exactly here, in this chapter :3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It was nearing noon when Jimmy crossed spawn, leading a few wild cows towards his newly built base. The animals weren't exactly keen on listening to him, but a bunch of wheat he held in his hands certainly helped. He could only wish he could lead them - even if his soulmate found any while caving the previous day, he lost them when a creeper surprisingly ended his life. The shock of the sudden death didn't wear off Jimmy just yet - the idea of just peacefully crossing the land until suddenly, his body was ripped to pieces by an explosion he didn't even experience... It was quite horrifying, and kept him on his toes at all times.
"C'mon, ladies! The sooner we get there, the sooner I can feed ya!" He waved the bundle of wheat in his hands, trying to attract the cattle's attention.
It wasn't all that bad, though... He was linked with Tango, a man he didn't have much of a chance meet beforehand. At first he was afraid of this energetic, loud, literally fiery guy... But he quickly found himself quite amused by his antics. A little smitten, even. Jimmy could always tell where he was on their ranch, could alway either hear him or spot the smoke coming off his flaming hair. Turns out, his warmth was not only physical, but he was also incredibly kind to his newfound soulmate. The moment they died, they got both teased by Martyn, who reveled in how they met. Tango got so angry, but Jimmy somehow managed to calm him down, and this was the first time they actually started bonding-
"Ayup, mate!" Jimmy almost squealed in pain as Martyn suddenly popped up right in front of him. Did he just summon him by thinking about him? And that smirk on his face... He was gonna pester him again, wasn't he?
"Martyn!- Dude! You scared the life out of me..." Jimmy huffed, then looked down at his friend. "What are you doing here...? Are you gonna mock me again?"
"Mock you? No, of course not! We're buddies, right? We're best friends!"
Martyn could feel cold chills going down his spine as he was met with Jimmy's fed up expression. His courtesy was the only thing stopping him from just blatantly disagreeing.
"What do you want?"
"Just wanted to have a chinwag, y'know! Talk to a fellow Southerner..."
"Fellow Southerner?" Jimmy repeated through his teeth, leaning down to Martyn. His face was close to Martyn's - too close. The canary's dark brown eyes were full of long hidden bitterness, that only now could finally surface. "You're acting as if the Southerlands didn't fall apart because of you ."
"Fair point." Martyn chuckled nervously. Even when Jimmy moved back and continued leading the cows to the ranch, he decided to follow along. "So, uh, ummmm... Where did you go after Southlands... Dispatched?"
"With Impulse, at first. Then I joined Mumbo after I turned red. And then I died, the end."
"Oh! Oh. Well, heh... At least you didn't have to witness all that happened." Martyn shrugged.
"Like what?"
"Like-"
Martyn stopped for a moment. What he was gonna say? That he basically felt into a circle of continuous self harm for a few days? That he was haunted by what was left of Southlands? That he let Mumbo kill him, and how he went from dark green to red in one afternoon? That he confined himself in the south and acted like a maniac? Or that he almost killed Ren, again ? The more he thought about it, all of it together really did sound quite pathetic... Maybe it really was better that Jimmy did not see any of that.
Fortunately, before he could answer, they finally arrived at the ranch. Jimmy struggled a bit to get the cows inside the pen - especially since Martyn preferred to watch, rather than actually help. He scoffed under his breath, when he saw Tango leaving their joint house. He was wearing a newly made cowboy hat. It looked like it was just a little bit too big for him, and somehow it didn't burn on contact with his flaming hair. In his hands, he was carrying another one, probably for Jimmy. Blazeborn approached his soulmate and slid the hat on his head. He had to stand on tip toes to reach his much taller friend.
"You guys look so stupid... " Martyn snickered under his breath. His giggling turned into a full blown laughter when both players turned to look at him simultaneously.
"You take that back, you jerk!" Tango growled, his tail flickering angrily from side to side. That reaction clearly fueled Martyn's amusement, as he leaned against the wall, continuing to laugh at them. "Stop laughing or we'll kick you out of the ranch!"
"Oh, I'm so scared... Of two losers, with their matching losers hats, and their loser ranch!" Martyn chuckled through laughter, struggling to breathe.
"Ignore him, Tango." Jimmy grabbed his soulmate's hand and stroked it carefully, avoiding his claws. "He's the real loser here, he doesn't even have a soulmate..."
"'scuse me? Of course I do!"
"Then who is that? And where are they?"
"She- I mean, they..." Martyn immediately stopped laughing, his expression turning sour in an instant. Ren's words stuck with him even now, and he couldn't stop thinking whether he was right. He did accidentally refer to his soulmate as 'she'... So if it wasn't Pearl, there was one option left. And he preferred to not think about that. "Y'know what? I won't tell you. You don't deserve to know." He grinned in a cocky manner. Tango scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"We don't care. Now shoo, before you're banned from the ranch.
"Fine, fine, I'm goin'..."
Instead of leaving, however, Martyn approached the edge of their base. He quickly began to break the wall which they built at the edge of the ranch. Just on the other side, there was a ravine which divided the server in two. And he had a perfect idea for a base where nobody would bother him.
"Martyn! What are you doing?" Jimmy yelled after him. "Get outta here!"
"I said I'm leaving! Geez..."
"Yeah. but don't break our wall! Go build somewhere else, nobody wants you here!"
"Yada yada..." Martyn rolled his eyes.
As Jimmy continued to yell and try to get him off their turf, Martyn began building a bridge going off the edge of the ravine. The idea was simple - if he made his house hard to access, nobody would come over to annoy him. And after two emotionally exhausting games, this was exactly what he needed. Even if he had to put up with Jimmy's yelling for far longer than he would've wanted.
Eventually, Jimmy gave up on trying to get Martyn to leave. He was just sickeningly stubborn... Not to mention, selfish. Maybe it was just better to leave him be, and ignore his presence whenever possible. They could always rebuild the wall, cut him off from their side of the ravine, put up a sign that said that he was permanently banned... The man turned around to join his rancher, before he noticed that someone just entered the ranch through the main gate.
"Hey guys!" He tried putting on a happy face, despite how exhausted he felt because of Martyn.
"Hi Jim," Scott greeted him with one of his winning smiles. As the winner of the previous game, he had this aura of charisma and confidence surrounding him. For just a second, Jimmy wished he was bound to him instead... On the other hand, he'd probably end up killing them both early, if that was the case. "We're looking for Martyn. Is he here?"
"Yes, he just started building off our ranch." Jimmy rolled his eyes, then looked at the visitors. "Wait... Are you guys soulbound?"
"I wish," Cleo rolled their eyes. She approached Jimmy and added a bit more quietly. "I think I have an idea of who my soulmate is. But I really hope I'm wrong."
"Oh." Jimmy hummed, then looked up and down at Cleo. Her arms were covered in bruises and shallow cuts, similarly to how he saw Martyn earlier. He immediately connected the two dots in his brain. "Oh! Geez... I don't envy you..."
"Thanks." Cleo chuckled, half amused by Jimmy's reaction. "Can we go talk to him?"
"Sure, if you want to... We'll probably rebuild the wall later on."
"Fine. Scott, stay here. I don't want him messing with you."
"I can handle him," Scott shrugged. "I killed him once, so if something happens-"
"You know how he is. If someone has to deal with him, let's keep it to a minimum." Cleo thought for a moment, but then added "If you want to... You can go look for Pearl. Maybe she'll want to listen."
Scott shivered.
"Fine. Good luck."
"You too."
Cleo crossed the newly made hole in the wall, then approached the flimsy bridge Martyn was building. The man was whistling to himself, so he didn't notice any company at first. It took him a minute or two to figure out that he was being watched. His expression immediately soured, upon seeing Cleo.
"Oh. It's you."
Did she figure it out as well? He could only hope she didn't.
"Yes, it is." Cleo rolled their eyes. "What are you doing here, being a nuisance?"
"Not your business. Go burn someone else's base. That ship Joel is building looks very flammable."
Cleo groaned and pinched the bridge of their nose.
"Can we talk?"
"About what? I kicked your ass once, I can do it again."
"I went easy on you... You tried to play the hero for once, then immediately crashed and burned again. You think I didn't hear what happened in the south?"
"Why d'you care? It wasn't your alliance."
"But you were allied with my friends, and ruined everything. And now..."
All of a sudden, Martyn felt a punch to his arm. He groaned in pain and clutched the aching spot. How could Cleo punch him, if she was standing several feet away? Unless...
"And now you're allied with me. Wonderful."
Martyn chuckled bitterly in disbelief.
"I don't believe you."
Cleo opened their mouth to snark back, but found themselves absolutely dumbfounded by his answer.
"Wha- What do you mean? We are linked! It's not a matter of you believing it or not, it's a fact!"
"Think about it, Cleo. So far, everyone is linked with people they have something in common with."
"Explain?"
Martyn sat down on his bridge and gestured over the server.
"Jimmy and Tango are both losers. Grian and Scar are both freaks. Impulse and Bdubs are fools, Ren and BigB..." He stopped for a moment, when an unpleasant ache spread through his chest. He looked back at Cleo. She wasn't doing anything weird this time... So he could only hope she didn't feel it as well. "And us? I'm a warrior, and a tactician. You're an arsonist brute. We're nothing alike."
"Excuse me?!" Cleo stepped on the bridge. The shaky construction trembled with each step. "Don't you dare talk like that about me, or any of my friends."
Martyn chuckled, but his amusement quickly faded as Cleo suddenly grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt and lifted him. She was so much taller and muscular than him... A lot more intimidating and imposing. Immediately, he felt daunted by her. Scared, even.
"I had my reasons to do what I did. And you? You go around, being a nuisance, hurting everyone just because you feel like it!"
"Drop me, right now." He tried to sound imposing, but with how small he looked compared to Cleo, it didn't help much.
"I'm giving you a chance. Whether you like it or not, we are stuck together. You can make it easier for both of us and go with me. Or you can continue being a dick, and then whine that nobody likes you."
"Let. Me. Go."
They locked their stares for a solid minute. Both their expressions filled with so much anger and frustration, it was strange how they managed to not jump at each other's throats just yet. For just a second, Martyn's eyes averted towards the land. Jimmy and Tango were at the ranch, staring at them... He probably looked ridiculous, manhandled by Cleo. Not to mention, his worst nightmare turned out to be true... Ultimately, he groaned and rolled his eyes.
"Fine. Drop me, and then we'll leave this place and talk."
The zombie player stared him down, but ultimately dropped Martyn. She then turned around, not keen on looking at him for much longer than she had to.
"No funny business, Littlewood."
"Oh, I wouldn't dare!-"
At that moment, Cleo felt a strong kick right to her back. The impact of the hit made her lose her balance, and before she could catch herself, she slipped and fell from the bridge. Martyn looked right after her, a big cocky grin on his face.
"Ha! Maybe that will teach you to not bother-"
Before Martyn could finish however, his whole was suddenly shook with unbearable pain. The moment Cleo hit the ground, the shared damage between them two made him feel as if all of his bones broke at the same time. He didn't even have the time to scream in pain, until his body turned into a cloud of smoke.
ZombieCleo was doomed to fall by Inthelittlewood.
Inthelittlewood was slain by Inthelittlewood.
Just a second later, Martyn woke up at spawn, desperately gasping for air. The pain of the breaking bones was mostly gone, leaving him with but a phantom feeling of his body crumbling into pieces. It was like a state of paralysis, not letting him move, or catch his breath, or even think. And what didn't help, is that he could hear Cleo's panting right next to him.
This time, he really messed up.
"Are you... Proud of yourself...?" Cleo huffed, slowly pulling herself into a sitting position. The pain she just went through made her tremble. Quite a pitiful sight, both of them were.
"See? Teaming up with me is a bad idea." Martyn chuckled bitterly and wiped the sweat off his forehead. While raising his hand, he also took a quick glance at the chat on his wristband.
<Smallishbeans> LOOOOOOOOL
<Rendog> Are you okay?
<Grian> Average Martyn moment
<Solidarity> I am so sorry Cleo
<Tango> o7 Cleo
"These bastards..." Martyn muttered, until Cleo interrupted him.
"Are you fucking serious? Martyn, listen to yourself! You think I want to be linked with you? No, but I am! And I'm trying to make this work, but you ruin everything you touch!"
"Cleo!" They both suddenly heard Scott, who ran towards them while on his way to Pearl's base. He knelt next to his friend. "Are you okay? What happened?"
"Martyn happened." Cleo groaned quietly, but let Scott help her get up. She then looked at the blond man. "I feel like a fool for asking, but screw this. You don't wanna actually try and make this work, do you?"
Martyn scoffed and turned away. He was still managing to keep his voice from shaking.
"I don't care what we are. If you wanna be enemies, then so be it."
"I'm not your enemy, Martyn. You know who's your worst enemy?"
"I don't care."
"I'll tell you. You are."
"Fuck off."
Cleo and Scott left him at spawn and headed towards Pearl's base. Martyn remained in his spot for a few moments later. Somehow, despite there being barely any wind, his eyes started tearing up. He groaned and began wiping his face, not letting any emotions through.
"I'm my worst enemy? Very funny..." He chuckled to himself, his whole chest feeling helplessly heavy.
That was a new feeling, one he couldn't quite explain. As if the weight of his actions was slowly crushing him from inside. But he didn't do anything wrong, did he? He just wanted Cleo to leave him alone... And it wasn't his fault that they were linked. He was just trying to survive in this stupid game without any ideas, any plans, any friends... He groaned and hit his palm against his temple, more and more tears collecting in his eyes. His throat felt tight, his whole body tingled, his head was a screaming loud mess. He needed to let it all out...
Lucky for him, he had a few ideas.
Notes:
I usually don't talk about my out-of-writing life and projects here, but this one time, I have one request to you guys.
I recently started a new collaborative project called 3rd Life TTRPG project. You can found us on Tumblr @lifeseries-ttrpg and we just opened contributor applications. The idea is to make a TTRPG manual inspired by Life series - or rather 3rd Life specifically. If you guys are interested in participating as either writers or artists, here's a link to out contributor application form. Thanks so much ^^
Chapter 24: Need to keep you in the dark
Summary:
Ren once again attempts to tell Martyn the truth. At least this time it doesn't blow up in his face.
Notes:
It might be like a new record for me, I've written this whole thing in just under 2 hours xd I hope it's still enjoyable though!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The first two days of the newest day went quite uneventful for the unlikely duo of BigB and Ren. They made themselves a cosy - albeit a very ugly - base at the edge of the world, where they tended to their own farms and animals. Nobody really came close to their place, which clearly served its purpose of being so ugly, that nobody but them would want to get close to them. Ren mostly stayed at home and tended to more mundane, thoughtless chores, while BigB ventured out to gather any necessary materials. Luckily, he asked no questions about Ren's strange conditions, which caused him painful flare ups every now and then. Not that he didn't care - if Ren wanted to talk, he'd surely tell him. For now, he was just glad he got soulbound to a relatively good player. Even his dramatic way of carrying himself did not bother BigB all that much. Ren appreciated that - throughout all of the games, he got used to BigB and how he was, and he respected him as an intelligent, crafty player. He just wished he didn't have to drag him down with himself this time around.
That morning, both of them ventured out into a nearby cave in search for some materials. Ren's condition did not help much - he needed to take a break after every few swings of his pickaxe, and he couldn't help thinking that he was slowing down the whole operation. When they finally approached their first diamonds, BigB grabbed his pickaxe and started mining them out, while Ren held over a torch to light him the way.
"So... You wanna ask him out?" B asked, continuing their earlier conversation.
"That's a... Way to put it, my dude." Ren chuckled. "I mean, uh, I guess you could call it that... It's like, I need to talk to honestly talk to him... But I don't want him to take me for a freak..."
"Well, if he sees you as a freak, that's his loss."
Ren couldn't help but smile at the strangely worded compliment. Or at least he took it as one. When BigB handed him the newly mined diamonds, he hid them in his inventory.
"Yes, but I, uh... Don't wanna ruin what's already there, y'know? He's a pretty... Sensitive guy."
BigB got up from the ground, then turned around him with an expression of disbelief.
"Are we talking about the same Martyn?"
"Ye-" Ren immediately went quiet. Unknowingly, BigB made a great point. He was talking about the Martyn he knew - the reckless, brutal, honestly quite nasty version of Martyn. At the same time, Ren couldn't help but look at all of the iterations of his lovers he's known. There were tens, if not hundreds of versions of Martyn that he knew. Each lovable in their own way, but this new one proved... Quite difficult. He couldn't blame him, though. "Okay, yeah, fine, maybe I'm exaggerating a little... But he can really be a nice guy once you get to know him!"
BigB glanced up and down at Ren. His soulmate was either really hopeful, or really delusional, and he wasn't sure which option was better.
"You probably wish you were paired with him instead of me, don'tcha?"
"That'd make things easier, yeah..." Ren nodded, but then immediately his ears perked down as he realized how it sounded. "I mean- Shit, no, I didn't mean that... I mean, yeah, being paired with him is nice, but... I really like you too, dude, and-"
"No, no, I get it!" BigB chuckled, his face not revealing a single trace of what he was actually feeling at that moment. "Don't worry, it's fine."
"It is...?"
All of a sudden, another flare up shook Ren's body, starting from his spine and spreading through all his nerves. His whole body shook, the torch dropped from his hand and fell to the ground, the fire dimming down significantly. BigB immediately walked up to Ren and caught him, before the dog fell to the ground.
"Careful! Dude, what's happenin'?"
"It's fine, it's alright..." Ren huffed, his body still half-paralyzed from the sudden pain. It was getting bad, really bad, and he was powerless to stop it... All he could do was hold on for just a bit longer. "It's just... I need to lie down, I think..."
"We should probably leave," BigB hummed and picked up their torch, which at this point went out completely. "Dang it... Do we have any left?"
"That was our last one... If we only grabbed that coal near the entrance..."
Both of them nervously looked around the pitch dark cave. It was so dark, if they were to extend their hands, they'd barely see their own fingers. It was hard to judge where they came from, so they were as good as lost.
"Dang it... I can't see anything..." BigB muttered. "It's a good thing there are no reds on the server yet, we could get jumped here so easily..."
"Yeah, it's just-" Suddenly, Ren gasped and his ears perked up. It was so dark, they could barely see what was a few feet in front of each other... And his constant overthinking immediately brought him back to his dilemma. They probably weren't the only ones who wouldn't be able to see in complete darkness like this... It could almost feel the tens of pairs of eyes, constantly watching his every step, avert as they weren't able to stop him as easily. "That's it... I know how to do this!"
"What do you mean...?"
"I know how to talk to Martyn! I know how to tell him everything safely! I just need to-"
Suddenly, he was interrupted by a sharp sound. He turned his head but, expectedly, didn't see anything.
"What was that?"
"Was that... A creeper?"
A confirmation appeared on chat but a second later.
Bigbst4tz2 blew up.
Rendog blew up.
Both of the unfortunate soulmates respawned on their beds at the same time, gasping for breath. Their hearts were still heavily pounding in their chests after a very abrupt end to their lives. Ren groaned in frustration, his ears dropping down in frustration.
"Our diamonds..." He whined.
"I can try and go back for our stuff, but... Damn..." BigB sighed and sat up on his bed. "Next time, we're packing more torches."
"Deal."
Ren smiled at the suggestion. His tail wagged ever so slightly, although it caused a little bit of pain in his spine. He had no time to lay and sulk, however. Shakily, he rose from his bed and approached the door.
"I need to go... I'll be back soon, I promise."
"You're going to see Martyn, aren'tcha...?"
"...Yeah..."
"Sure. Grab some wood while you're out there, why don'tcha?"
"No problem."
Ren swung the door open and almost bumped into Grian, who was standing on the opposite door. He immediately stepped back, quite startled by the sudden meeting.
"Oh! Hi, G!"
"Hi, Ren... Is BigB here? I wanna talk to him."
Grian looked quite distressed, but Ren couldn't tell why exactly. And he wanted to talk to his soulmate...? The dog shook his head. If he was going to meet other people behind BigB's back, even with his consent, he shouldn't be against his friend doing the same.
"Yeah, he's here... We just got back from caving."
"Awesome, thanks."
As Ren left the house, Grian turned around and watched him for a moment. Since the beginning of the games, especially in Last Life, he could feel that there was something Ren wasn't telling him... And now that he looked at him, he could clearly see that he was hiding something. The way he was slouching, and leaning against the railing of the stairs... The avian gruntled quietly, as he watched Ren walk away.
He didn't remember his friend having black spots on his arms... They didn't look like fur. But it looked like something he recognized.
"What?! Ren, c'mon, man..." Martyn groaned when he saw the latest death message (or rather messages) on chat.
He was already heading towards Ren's base, or rather what he assumed it was - but seeing the message made him doubt the idea for a moment. Maybe he shouldn't disrupt him while he was busy...? It never stopped Ren from bothering him, but this was different... This whole game was different. He just experienced a death that wouldn't even affect him in normal circumstances. Ren was probably too busy trying to stay alive to listen to him... He was ready to head back until, all of a sudden, he saw Ren running towards him. The dog looked out of breath already, so he decided to help a bit and headed his way. He could barely hide a soft smile upon seeing him.
"Dude! I was just looking for you!" Ren ran up to him, finishing his sprint in Martyn's arms. The other man immediately tensed. He wasn't used to affection like this... But he didn't hate it, nor did he feel the need to push him away. Instead, he just accepted the embrace with no fuss.
"Why? What happened? Why did you die?"
"Me and BigB had a... Creeper incident, if you know what I'm saying," Ren smiled nervously. "But hey, we're both yellow now!"
"I... I guess we are... Why were you looking for me, though?"
"I need to talk to you dude! But, not here. We need to go somewhere darker."
"Oh gosh."
Martyn followed Ren without much hesitation. It was nice to be greeted with excitement and a warm hug... Instead of annoyance and insults. Well, he couldn't blame anyone but himself for that general opinion on him. Still, meeting up with Ren was a nice change... He almost felt wanted by him. Even if he was as weird and cryptic as always, leading him into a random cave with no explanation. Martyn pulled out a torch and lit it up, so that they wouldn't get lost immediately.
"Wait-" Ren suddenly turned to him. "Why are you on yellow, though?"
Martyn nervously chuckled, an expression of embarrassment flushing down his face.
"Me and Cleo had a... Falling incident." He admitted. "It may or may have not been my fault."
"Your fault?" Ren chuckled in an amused way and raised his eyebrow.
"I may have kinda... Pushed them off a bridge. In my defense! They were really mean."
"Of course." The dog rolled his eyes and tightened his grip on Martyn's eyes. No matter the loop he was on, Martyn and Cleo always struggled to see eye to eye. It was quite amusing, honestly. Every time, he wondered whether the set of soulmates would change... But that was one of the only few constants of the games. It almost got him wondering whether that meant something... But he probably wouldn't like the answer. "Well, at least we match, right? We can pretend we're soulmates..."
"I guess... At first, I thought I was linked with Pearl... I kinda wish I was," The blond man hummed quietly. He handed Ren the torch, then started mining out some iron he noticed on the cave wall. "But I wasn't, so I left."
"Left...?"
"Yeah! She's linked to someone else, so why should I bother, right?"
Ren shuddered. He knew how Pearl was when her heart was broken. Looks like that was going to be the case again... That helped with some things, and really meddled with others.
"Damn... Good luck, Scott." He hummed quietly.
"Hey, at least she doesn't have to stick to the guy the whole server hates! Poor Cleo." Martyn chuckled bitterly, then hid the newly found iron in his pockets. As he did that, Ren noticed fresh bruises on his hand - the one he wasn't holding previously. He immediately grabbed him and pulled his hand closer. "Hey!"
"You did that again, didn't you...?"
"Doesn't matter... Why did you even bring me here, anyway?"
"Oh, right..."
Ren let Martyn slip his hand away. Of course he wouldn't accept his help... Not yet. But maybe he could still make it work. He looked around, to make sure they were alone and safe. From where they were, the surface was no longer visible... Good. He tightened the grip on their torch.
"I need to talk to you, dude... But you need to listen, and trust that what I'm saying is the truth. It will sound stupid, and ridiculous, and all, but I need you to believe me. Okay?"
"...Sure...?"
Before he even answered, Ren dropped the torch to the ground and stepped on it. The fire immediately went out, leaving them in complete darkness - one in which they could barely see one another. Martyn took a step back in confusion.
"What the- Why did you do this? Wait, lemme grab another one-"
"No, don't!" Ren reached out and grabbed him by the wrists again. "This is better. This way, they can't reach us-"
"Can't we?"
In an instant, Ren could feel pairs of cold, ethereal hands tighten around his throat. His whole body became stiff and uncomfortable, filled with unbearable chill and numb pain. But how? How did they spot him in complete darkness?-
"You won't slip us that easily, Uranus. Besides, it's not like you even moved from this spot. We still know where you are."
Crap.
"Ren...?" Martyn asked in a half confused, half concerned tone. "What's going on?"
Crap. His plan failed again... Not only that, he got Martyn entangled in it as well. At that point, all he could do was think on the spot. He had to find another justification for dragging him here... Without sounding like a complete idiot, and ruining the tiniest bits of trust Martyn had for him. But it was hard when he was struggling with the chill, and another flare up coming his way. Maybe the Watchers were right.. He was running out of time. So he had to use the time he had left wisely.
Martyn rolled his eyes.
"Is this the same thing as last time? With the whole Shadow alliance and all that?"
Ren's eyes lit up for a moment, even if Martyn couldn't see it. That was a way to play it off...
"Yes... Yes, you're right, dude!"
"Oh gods, here we go again..."
"And we have to be in complete darkness to talk about this, cause... Well, the Moon doesn't like sunlight, of course."
Even when stressed, in pain and half dying, his acting skills were impeccable. At least to him.
"Isn't moonlight just reflected sunlight, though..."
"Doesn't matter! The Moon talked to me, Shadow Wind! She saw us, being forced into these relationships we didn't ask for, and she asked us to... To work together instead...?"
"Us, specifically?"
"Yes! But, also..." He gulped, weighing his words for a moment. "But also Pearl... All of the players who got abandoned by their soulmates - you, me and her."
"Wait, hold on, what happened between you and BigB? I thought you were just caving together?"
Ren's ears perked down again. He could only wish he wasn't going to lose track of his lies - or, how he preferred to call it, the lore - and make a big, obvious blunder.
"Well, yeah... But as I left, Grian came to our base! I think he and BigB have a... Thing going on... Can you imagine?"
"From what I know about Grian? Yes, I can imagine. And Pearl...?"
"Well, Scott also abandoned her, didn't he? Poor Pearl..."
"I'm not sure they met yet, actually..."
"Not only that, the Moon sent her to us as her envoy! Only teaming with her will lead us to victory! Us three, abandoned by our soulmates, left to fend for ourselves and with our hearts broken, my dude!"
Martyn couldn't help but let out a chuckle. Ren was ridiculous, he was probably the strangest of all the players. But there was this... Fondness he felt towards all his weird antics. They were quite amusing, if a bit confusing and weird... And hey, that sounded way better than being left completely on his own, once his own soulmate ditched him. Not like he didn't deserve it.
"So we would be, like a... A club of broken hearts, huh?"
"Yes, yes, exactly! Broken heart club, that will be our name!"
"So... You dragged me here just to ask whether I want to team up with you...?"
"...sorta."
Martyn laughed and rolled his eyes.
"Sure, fine. Why not."
"Oh, dude!" Ren immediately grabbed Martyn and pulled him into a tight hug - which his pained spine didn't like, as it resulted in a new flare up. Ren groaned, as his body went almost completely limp against Martyn. The blond man helped him stay on his feet, then slowly led him towards the surface.
"Next time, just ask when you want to team up with me, okay...?"
"Yeah, sure, why not..."
Martyn pulled Ren's arm over his shoulder to help support him. As they approached the surface, he could see even more clearly that Ren was not looking great. He was pale, his eyes looked dark and tired, and he was swaying when he tried to stand on his own. He helped him sit down on the ground in front of the ground.
"You want me to walk you back?"
"No, no, I'll be alright dude, just... Need to breathe for a moment."
"Of course."
Ren let his hair loose, then began to tie it up again. As he did, Martyn couldn't help but notice something on his exposed arms. It almost looked like he got dirty with something. The man tilted his head.
"You have something on your arm... Right here..."
The dog hummed and looked at his arm, right where Martyn pointed. His face went even more pale, somehow. Indeed, he had a few dark, almost completely black spots on the back side of his arm... And on the other, as well. They weren't painful or anything, just... Really cold to touch. He shuddered, immediately making a connection as to what they were.
"It's, uh... Probably just coal, I got dirty while mining." He nervously chuckled and got up from the ground. "I gotta head back now, okay? Can we meet tomorrow over at your place, to discuss things about the Broken hearts club?"
"Sure... Wait, you know where I live?"
"I'll find my way, don't worry."
Instead of leaving right away, Martyn stayed there for a moment, watching Ren. He was a strange guy, for sure... But he couldn't help but feel fond of him. He could only hope this fondness won't turn into something more, though... Something he'd immediately ruin, knowing himself.
Notes:
Also, I know I usually don't ask you guys for much (aside from literally talking about my side project a while ago), but this time I have one question for you.
Yesterday I posted a Wild Life one shot, and it performed pretty badly - despite it being, in my humble opinion, probably one of my better one shots. Or at least I enjoyed writing it immensely. It's a short post-finale story from Joel's POV touching on topics like existentialism and identity. If you have a spare moment to read, you can go and read it now - the title is "A man who gets to make it home alive (but it's no longer you)". I really hope you'll like it and maybe leave kudos or a comment ^^
Chapter 25: Who needs allies, anyway?
Summary:
TW: Depiction of self harm, especially under the last divider
Grian learns that Ren knows more than he lets on. At the same time, Martyn realizes that maybe not teaming up with anyone isn't all that bad.
Notes:
It might just be me, but it feels like this story has been getting less engagement after my break. Oh well, I'll try to avoid such long breaks in the future, and I hope you guys are still enjoying this :3
Chapter Text
"Dang it..." Ren hummed, attempting to rub off the strange dark spots appearing on his body. Were they always there? He couldn't recall seeing them before... And, as far as he was aware, Martyn was the first to notice that. He had an idea as to what that could be... He just really, really really hoped he was wrong. Every time that thought occurred him, he could feel a rotten taste filling his mouth. He was probably being very naive, trying to disregard the whole situation... But at that point he had nothing else to hope for.
Right after coming back to his base, Ren almost bumped into Grian, who was just leaving. It was the second time that day - and it no longer felt like a coincidence. The dog's ears pinned down, he wasn't exactly happy to see Grian.
"You're still here, dude?"
"Yeah... I actually gotta talk to you, Ren. You've got a minute?"
"...What is it?"
Grian closed the door behind himself, presumably so that BigB wouldn't hear them. Maybe that was for the better. He then walked up to Ren, opening his big, albeit clipped wings. He was probably attempting to intimidate him, which would work, if it wasn't for Ren being much taller than the avian. Still, his cocky expression carried a clear message. I know what you're doing. Or at least I have an idea.
"We're friends, Ren, aren't we?"
Ren bit his lip and puffed out his cheeks. That was the truth, yes, but also a horrible conversation starter.
"Get to the point, G."
"Fine. You've been acting... Weird, Ren. The way you follow around Martyn like a lovesick puppy... You barely know the guy."
"So what? I can't just be, like, nice to him?"
"You seem to know him better than anyone else. I'd even say... You know these games more than anyone else. Even me, and I made them."
"Any proof?"
"BigB told me you knew about you two being linked, right as you met."
"That's no proof. That could've been just a coincidence." Ren hummed. He hid his hands behind his back, to hide how he started fidgeting with his fingers. Out of everyone, Grian had to be the one to catch up to him. The guy who literally made the games that Ren was meddling with. Great.
"Oh yeah?" Grian smirked and took another step forward. "Can I see your arm, Ren?"
"No, you cannot. Leave before I'll make you."
Grian grabbed him by the shoulder, causing Ren to snap back and give him a backhand slap to the face. The avian hissed in pain and stepped away.
"I've seen it, Ren. I just wanna help you. C'mon, stop being sucha stubborn jerk!"
His frustrated frown was met with Ren's cold, indifferent face. He rarely looked like that, he was usually very animated and expressive... It felt weird. Wrong, almost. Then, as if on command, Ren pulled up his sleeve and showed his arm to Grian. In a way that the man could see dark spots covering his skin. Some of them looked like they were shifting and moving under his epidermis. Almost as if there was black ink injected into his arm, and it moved on its own. Quite a staggering sight... But one that wasn't completely unfamiliar to Grian.
"That's... That's void rot."
"Sure is."
"But... How?" Grian chuckled nervously. "The only way to get infected is to spend a lot of time in the void... And I mean, a lot of time. How did you...?"
"I told you, Grian. It's not your problem. Let me deal with that."
"No." Instantly, Grian grabbed Ren by the wrist. "What the hell are you doing? You didn't have this back on Hermitcraft... How much time have you spent in the void?"
"Not enough, apparently." Ren leaned down to Grian, speaking through his gritted teeth. "I told you to leave, dude. I can pretend I don't know what's going on between you and BigB, cause I've seen it before."
"You've seen it- Dang it, Ren, you're not making any sense! What are you talking about?!" Grian groaned. After Ren disregarded him once again and entered the base again, he groaned and covered his eyes with his lesser wings and hands. "Damnit... Maybe they'll know what's going on..."
The prospect of having a new, somewhat stable alliance made Martyn happier than he would've imagined. He still couldn't get over the fact that Ren still wanted to have something to do with him, even after... Everything that happened. He could only be thankful that the guy was so trusting... Even if it was bordering on naive.
No, he is being naive , Martyn thought to himself. He killed the guy twice (okay, technically three times, but he didn't finish the job the last time around) and he still followed him, his eyes full of optimism and excitement. How could anyone be this trusting? Especially to a guy who had a reputation of being a nuisance, homewrecker and overall a menace? They may have made up as the Shadow Alliance, but then he ruined it again... Maybe that's just my life, he thought, only focusing on the road ahead of him. Maybe all I'm good for is ruining things.
Soon after, Martyn came upon his destination - a lone tower in the southern part of the server. It wasn't there the previous day... But after seeing a few messages on the chat, he was acutely aware of who lived there. Thus, he approached the door and knocked on it.
"Pearl?" He called out, to no avail. He furrowed his brows, this definitely not being the outcome he expected. "Hello? Pearl, you there?"
Pearl either decided to not answer, or she wasn't at her base. Both options made sense... Martyn wasn't exactly nice to her earlier, when he decided to ditch her. He really hoped that she would realize, sooner or later, that he did that for her own good... She was probably still bitter about it, though. He groaned, then pulled on the door. It opened with no issue, as if they were never locked.
"Pearl? It's me, Martyn! That jerk who left you all alone! I'm sorry, okay?" He called out, then approached the tall, spiral door leading up to her chamber. He groaned, not looking forward to climbing up so high just to see her. "Pearl! Damnit... I'll be there in a moment, okay?"
Martyn looked down at his wristband. Was she dead? No, both her and Scott were still on green... And the tower looked pristine, as if nobody ever entered it. Was that a trap...? He mentally smacked himself. Who would put so much effort into a single trap? He definitely wouldn't... If someone did, they'd end up with a trap that looked nicer than his actual base. One which he already started getting complaints about. The others did not realize that he was not much of a builder, did they?
After getting to the top, Martyn dropped to the floor, panting and struggling to catch his breath. The floor may have been trapped, but at that point he couldn't care less. All he really needed was a moment to rest. While laying on the cold wooden planks, he looked around. The whole place looked... Abandoned. As if someone, presumably Pearl, left it right after building it. The bed looked untouched, and as Martyn soon found out, all of the chests were empty- Well, mostly empty, aside from a few random, useless items. He groaned in frustration. He made an effort to get here, and now he couldn't even steal anything? He laid down again, then reached out to his wristband.
<Inthelittlewood> Pearl where are u
<Inthelittlewood> ????
<Pearlescentmoon> I'm at Cleo's
<Pearlescentmoon> What do you want
<Inthelittlewood> I'm at your base, I'll come soon
<Smallishbeans> Watch out Pearl
<Inthelittlewood> Shut up or I'm gonna burn your stupid boat on the way
<Smallishbeans> Don't you dare
Martyn was used to all of the players watching him as if he was the incarnation of the devil. He didn't care, or at least he was great at showing it. If they feared him, he wouldn't have to deal with them. Which meant nobody stopped him on his way to Cleo's base, which he greatly appreciated. He wanted to be done with this whole "Broken hearts club" thing. However, the fact that Pearl was over at Cleo's place did not sound too helpful. His soulmate who hated him, and the one person he ended up abandoning him. He could only hope that they wouldn't decide to attack you by the end of this whole thing.
As Martyn crossed the bridge between Scott and Cleo's bases, he noticed Pearl standing at the doorstep of the house where he was heading. And so was Cleo. He shivered, bracing himself for the upcoming conversation. It was gonna be the most embarrassing and humiliating thing he's ever done, no doubt.
"Oh, there he is..." Pearl rolled her eyes upon seeing Martyn.
"Ayup..." Martyn nervously chuckled and waved at them. "Cleo, can you leave us alone?"
"I'm not leaving my ally with you," Cleo immediately snarked back, leaning against the side of her base.
"Your ally ? Wait, hang on, when did you two team up?"
"After you left me, Cleo and Scott came and offered to take me in. And you know what?" Pearl took a few quick steps towards Martyn, causing him to step back immediately. "We don't mind that Cleo isn't soulbound to us. We don't drop people just because of that. Unlike a certain somebody."
Martyn shivered again, as he felt a cold gust of guilt go right through his spine. He looked at Cleo for a moment. He really hoped to see any kind of understanding or hope in the zombie's expression - not that he deserved that. But, there was none. And he couldn't blame her.
"Why did you even come looking for me?"
"Well... Ren proposed a team up, and also suggested taking you with us."
Pearl chuckled and rolled her eyes.
"Ren? Who does he think he is, coming up with alliances without even asking people? And why didn't he come to ask me himself?"
"He..." Martyn gulped and nodded, still feeling awfully tense under the scrutiny of the two players. "Fair point. I didn't ask him. So, uh, if you don't wanna join us... Could I join you...?"
Pearl and Cleo looked at each other, clearly amused by the proposal. Martyn immediately picked up on that. He already knew what was gonna happen.
"Now, before you laugh-" He was cut off by the two players bursting out into laughter. "Hey! I said, before you laugh! Hear me out!"
"Oh, Martyn..." Cleo approached them both. She put her hand on Martyn's shoulder - a gesture that usually would be quite supportive, but this time was clearly humiliating. "Why would we? You abandoned Pearl, you mocked and killed me... Why would we want to team up with you? "
"Why?" The man scoffed, the insult hitting him deeper that he wanted to admit. "You think you'll make it to the end without me? I'm a fighter, a tactician, a genius, really-"
"And a complete jerk." Pearl rolled her eyes and turned around. "Do us a favor and leave us alone."
"Or better," Cleo added, "Go back to your base, and then blow up that eyesore."
"Excuse me? My base is beautiful! It's a work of art!" He grumbled. "Well, it's not finished, but-"
"Then don't finish it. Not worth it."
Martyn groaned and smacked Cleo's hand off his shoulder.
"Whatever! I'll go ask Scott then."
"Good luck. He's with us, too."
"You're literally so greedy..." Martyn rolled his eyes, before turning around and heading towards the other side of the bridge. He could swear he could hear Pearl and Cleo, mocking him as he left.
Well, I tried... It's not my fault that they're buncha idiots that don't want to make it work, he thought to himself as he approached Scott's house. He knocked on the door, although it sounded more like banging.
"Scott! Can we talk?" He asked, trying his best to prevent his voice from breaking. He was feeling tired and betrayed, so his emotions were slowly getting more and more unstable. He attempted to knock again, but then Scott opened the door, narrowly avoiding being hit by Martyn. "Sorry... Hi, dude."
"What's going on?" Scott asked, playing with his short, curly hair. "Why did you talk to my soulmate?"
"Because you and your soulmate teamed up with my soulmate, and they don't want me to join as well!"
"Can you blame them? You're kind of a... Loose canon."
Martyn opened his mouth to argue, but he quickly closed it. Scott was right... All this time, he had to do everything by himself. Maybe staying alone wasn't all that bad... At least he didn't have to listen to anyone else. Still, being with someone, feeling needed and seen... That sounded nice. He sighed, then leaned across the doorframe.
"You don't wanna team up with me, right...?"
"No, man. Sorry."
"Fine. Fine!" Martyn chuckled and took a step back. "It's not like I need you! I don't need any of you! You would've never teamed up without me, if I didn't abandon Pearl back then!"
This time Scott tried to argue, but ultimately couldn't help but agree.
"Touche."
"See? And I didn't need anyone so far! Fine, stay in your little alliance! See how far that takes you!"
Martyn groaned and turned around. Before he could leave however, Scott looked towards Cleo's base, then grabbed his friend's wrist.
"Next time. Okay?" He suggested with a faint, unsure smile. "We can try. I don't think you're all that bad. I think we can... Work on this."
"Wow, thanks."
Martyn pulled his hand away from Scott, then headed back to his base. What a waste of time... All he did was humiliate himself. His whole mission started with him feeling hopeful after his meeting with Ren... And left him feeling even more lonely than ever.
Stupid jerks, I hate them all so much. Who do they think they are? They would've never teamed up without me. I'm pretty sure they all just bonded over hating me.
Why should I care? I've been on my own so many times before, I can do it again. I led a whole kingdom by myself. I had the whole Southlands to myself. And I had a blast each time. I can do that again.
Maybe it's the time to become the Captain again.
Martyn groaned and shut his journal closed, then tossed it across his ugly as sin, cramped base. Cleo was right, it was an eyesore... But he didn't care. The more people it irked, the better. He pulled on his hair, then threw his head back, accidentally hitting it against a chest. He groaned and rubbed the pained place, before a realization hit him.
He was linked with Cleo... So did she feel it? That was probably not the best way to annoy his estranged soulmate, since that hurt him as well... But at that point, he couldn't bring himself to care. He pulled himself up from the ground, then looked outside the window. He could see most of the other teams from where he was. Joel and Etho were chatting on the hull of their almost finished ship. Grian was building his and Scar's base, while talking to his soulmate. Tango and Jimmy were collecting crops (seeing them hold hands made Martyn feel sick). And above all, seeing Scott, Pearl and Cleo sitting on the edge of the ravine, talking... He had to try it. He opened one of his chests, then put his hand on the edge. Then, after a few moments of bracing himself, he smashed the lid closed.
Cleo flinched, as a sudden wave of pain crossed her hand. Her fingers felt like they were burning, and although moving them was painful, she could still do it - so they were not broken. Scott immediately picked up on that.
"Cleo? What's wrong?" He asked, before Cleo hissed in pain as the soul-linked ache crossed her body again.
"That stupid jerk... You better quit that, Martyn!" She yelled towards the ugly base in the middle of the ravine. They could see Martyn standing in the window, with a malicious, proud smile on his face.
"So it works..." The blond man hummed with a big smile.
At that moment, his new plan for the game was formed. If nobody wanted to stick to him... Then he was going to make it everyone's problem. Starting with his soulmate.
Chapter 26: You can't save everyone (let alone yourself)
Summary:
TW: Mentions of self harm, body horror
Ren and Martyn finally have a moment just for themselves. Of course, the Watchers are having none of that.
Notes:
Sorry I left this one hanging for a while! I actually started a new AU and posted a first chapter for it (which you can read right here ). I hope you enjoy it :3
I'm trying to find a good posting schedule, but honestly writing two longfics at the same time, together with creating a new project and starting a new uni semester in two weeks sounds pretty grueling. My idea for now is 2 days of updates, one day break, but I'll see whether I can stick to it.
I hope you enjoy this chapter nonetheless :3
Chapter Text
The overwhelming darkness of the night covered the server like an uncomfortably warm quilt. There were barely any stars guarding the players that night, as if even the sky gave up on the forsaken ones. Maybe it was for the better. Sometimes, they had a nasty habit of resembling thousands of watchful eyes, observing each of the players. And especially that night, that was the last thing Ren needed.
He was running - he wasn't sure where or why. He didn't even remember what startled him so bad to leave the box. All he remembered was an overwhelming presence, which forced him out of his safe base and into the thick of the woods. A horrifying feeling, one that rocked his soul and screamed in his bones. He knew who caused it - or rather who it felt like. Why would they choose this day out of any other, though? The canine shut his eyes tight, which probably wasn't a good thing to do as he was speeding through a forest.
"Leave me alone, you freaks!" He pleaded.
His idea was indeed, not the best, as just a moment after that he tripped over a tree root and fell face first into the ground. A bitter taste of dirt entered his mouth (in the form of a handful of said dirt), his paw aching and pulsating from the pain. Without even looking up, he moved his leg a little. It ached, but he could still move it. So it wasn't broken. That's the only good news for the night.
Immediately, Ren got enveloped by a freezing cold breeze. One that felt almost unnatural with how cold it felt. It most likely was, considering who was probably chasing him. Ren lifted his head, only to have some sort of invisible force grab him by his long ponytail and pull him up.
"Where are you running, Uranus? You know you can't run from us."
"I can try..." Ren huffed, the position he was forced into making him grit his teeth.
"Your decisions have already poisoned your mind beyond salvation. Now, they also wreck your body beyond recognition. Sooner or later, all you'll be is a void rotten husk, unable to fight, unable to run."
"Eat shit."
"Why are you still resisting? We're only trying to help you, Uranus."
"Help me? Then why were you chasing me?"
"Were we?"
Ren's ears pinned down immediately, as the realization hit him. Were they? He immediately shook his head and pulled himself up, despite the ache in his paw.
"Yes. You're just tryna gaslight me. You mess with me, then try to convince me it's my fault."
"It was you who got into the matters beyond your feeble, mortal comprehension, Uranus."
"Well, you're definitely not helping me with comprehending that."
The dog took a step forward, his paw stinging in pain. He may have not broken anything, but he could have a sprained ankle... Which would suck just as much in his situation. With his so far life saving stubbornness, he continued walking through the forest, his breathing short and sharp. Not to mention, another wave of pain started spreading through his spine, one that came dangerously close to rendering his limbs completely useless. The hundreds of eyes scanned his every move. They also probably silently mocked him and how headstrong he was about his goal.
"You can no longer continue, Uranus. We told you that you're gonna break, sooner or later. And now, it's definitely sooner."
"So what? It's not like you're gonna let me recover, or fix everything, right?"
He was only answered with silence. Ren chuckled, then pulled on his own hair in a frustrated manner.
"I know why you're doing this. 'Cause you hate what me and Martyn have. You want us to hate each other, so that you can feed off it better. Is that right?"
"That's part of the reason, yes. But you will never be able to truly grasp our mission, Uranus."
"Don't care. Leave me alone."
After just a few moments of trekking through the forest, Ren somewhat calmed down. His breathing was almost stable, as he finally soothed his nerves. Now he just had to come back, and face that BigB probably won't be happy about him disappearing so abruptly...
Before a low grunt crossed the forest and reached his ears.
Ren immediately looked around, clenching his fists ready to fight whoever was approaching. The only thing that he saw in the distance was a pair of glowing, purple eyes. He grinned upon the sight.
"You're not stealthy, guys... I can see y-"
He couldn't even notice his sentence, before the grunt turned into a screech of an angry Enderman. The dog immediately turned around and ran as far away from the monster as he could. His paw began aching again, but the sound of the monster approaching him was enough to keep him from running. No, no no no, not now, not like this...
This time, Ren didn't even need to trip. The monster eventually caught up to him through teleportation. Ren could only let out a hopeless scream, as the Enderman's strong jaws crushed his skull.
Rendog was slain by Enderman.
Bigbst4tz2 died.
The moment the morning came, Ren left the base yet again. He didn't feel like talking to BigB about what happened that night, how he suddenly ran away without an explanation, and then ended up killing them both. The comments of the people on their communal chat, both excited and scared at the prospect of the first reds was enough. He didn't even feel like he could look him in the eye after what happened. All he could do was hope that BigB could forgive him for being such a burden.
He wasn't unhappy paired with BigB, was the thing. He really liked the guy, his laidback approach to the games, his playfulness and his intelligence hidden under a mask of cluelessness. He's never seen anyone as skilled at getting information out of others. And if they weren't stuck in this predicament, Ren would probably take more time to appreciate his friend. With each loop, he hoped that the soul links would get tangled and reassembled, just to give his friend a chance at finding something better than him. Someone who wasn't foolish and stubborn enough to repeat the same events over, and over, and over, and over again, hoping for a different outcome.
At least he was blissfully unaware of the scope of what was happening. Just like most of the other players, his slate got wiped clean at the start of each new loop. There were only two, who didn't get spared in such a way.
Ren approached Martyn's base over the flimsy bridge and knocked on the door. As much as he wanted to deny it, he couldn't help but agree - the base was incredibly ugly. Martyn was a man of many talents, but building was definitely not one of them. It took him a moment to actually get Martyn to open.
"Took you long enough", The blond grunted in a hoarse tone.
He took his hoodie off, but his exposed arms were covered in a layer of bandaids. His hair was a complete mess, falling over his face and obscuring his view. His eyes were dark and dim, as if they hadn't seen or felt the sunlight in days. Well, that could be the truth, as Ren quickly noticed that all of the windows were barricaded, making the inside very dark.
"Martyn...?" Ren asked quietly in a concerned tone. He knew how this game was always rough on his friend, but he couldn't recall ever seeing him in such a rough state.
"Wait... Why are you red...?"
"Oh... I had an Enderman incident."
Martyn snickered in amusement.
"Of course... But why are you here...?"
"Broken hearts club, remember?"
"Pearl didn't want to join. Ha! She laughed at me for even asking. And so did Cleo."
"Wait... Cleo and Pearl...?"
The dog shivered. He knew this loop screwed up a lot of things, but that was beyond his wildest imagination.
"Oh... Can I come in...?"
"Sure."
The base was a complete mess. Martyn's stuff was littering the ground, making each step a tripping hazard. It was close to how bad his room in the Shadow tower was - but this base was even darker, and maybe a little bit bigger. Ren looked up and down at his friend, then reached out to touch his bandaids. He had a suspicion as to what happened, but he really wished he was wrong.
"Why aren't you with the others? I heard they're playing some sorta new game over at Impu- Ouch!" Martyn hissed and pulled back at the slightest touch on his arms. Ren stepped back, his tail freezing in place.
"Sorry, sorry! But, uh... What happened...? Did Cleo do that to you?"
"Oh, this? No. I did that to her."
"You what ...?"
"This is what they get for abandoning me!" Martyn chuckled and fell down on the bed. "Slamming myself with a chest lid was the most effective... Burning wasn't bad, but I'd still rather avoid it... Sticking my hand in the snow was annoying, I couldn't use it for a while later... And I tried both not eating at all, and eating to the point of throwing up, and-"
Ren grabbed his hand and squished it as hard as he could, while still trying to avoid inflicting any more pain. Martyn flinched and immediately went quiet.
"I don't know why you care, Ren. I deserve that, and so does she."
"No... Neither of you deserve that."
Ren squeezed his hand again, then pulled it a bit closer and kissed his knuckles. Martyn shivered, but his pained, frustrated expression was quickly replaced with a soft, tired smile.
"I don't get it... We're not soulmates. Why do you care...?"
"This soulmate stuff is bullshit. Trust me."
"What, you don't like being with BigB?"
"I do... But not because we're soulmates, or whatever."
Martyn shivered, rubbing his face with one hand to soothe the waves of pain still rocking his body. Ren's touch, on the other hand, was... Reassuring. Strong, but in a comforting way. One that felt almost defensive - towards Martyn, against the whole world. A world that seemingly forced them into this situation. Or at least that was how Martyn could perceive it, not knowing the full scope of the situation. Ren's heart ached, wanting nothing more than to reassure him that it's gonna be okay, he's gonna fix everything, that he's never gonna hurt anymore thanks to him-
But that isn't true, is it? He's here because of me.
Ren tried to pull his hand away, but this time it was Martyn who tightened the grip. For the first time in a very long time, Ren could see the calm fondness in his gaze. There was another word he wanted to use, but he felt too bashful to actually commit to using it.
"I'm sorry..."
"For what...?" Martyn asked quietly.
"For not... Not saving you."
"I don't need saving, I'm a big boy." The blond smiled and moved a bit closer to him. Ren chuckled, amused by the confession.
"I know you are. But... I wanted to spare you... This. And I couldn't."
"It's not all bad... If I didn't join the games, I'd probably be stuck somewhere in the void right now. At least I'm with you now."
Ren shivered at his words. Right... Martyn didn't have a home server, one where he could default come back to after the games concluded. Did he already suffer from void rot before joining the games...? Ren couldn't recall. He put his head on the bed, while still sitting on the ground, and looked at Martyn.
"Promise you're not gonna hurt yourself like that again."
"I... I can't promise." Martyn hummed, then turned on his back and looked at the ceiling. "If I promise, and then break that promise, without even meaning it... You're gonna be upset."
"Then promise me you'll try. Can you do that...?"
"...Yes."
Both of them went silent, only the sound of their breathing filling the space. They didn't even look at each other - Martyn's gaze was stuck at the ceiling, while Ren eventually closed his eyes. Their hands were still close however, their fingers intertwined. Just two guys, two tired guys who wanted nothing more than safety and a moment to rest without having to worry for their lives. And at that point, for a brief moment, they could finally feel as if they just achieved that. Neither of them wanted to stop that perfect silence, as if any extra words could break their fragile bubble of comfort. The only movement they allowed themselves to make for a long time was a soft, shy kiss, one that left both of them feeling at ease.
Eventually, Ren sat up on the bed and looked at Martyn.
"Can I help you with your hair?" He proposed with a gentle smile.
"Yes. Please."
The first few moments were excruciatingly anxious for Martyn. He had to turn around to a guy he's wronged so many times... And hope that it wasn't just an excuse to backstab him. For a moment, his whole back tensed, all of his senses trying to pick up on any signs of danger. But... There were none. Ren just started carefully brushing through his messy hair, untangling all the little knots that appeared there.
"I think you're missing something." He whispered in a soft, caring tone.
"Yeah? What is it...?"
Ren took off a long strip of dark fabric that he wore around his wrist. He then tied it around Martyn's head into a makeshift headband. It immediately helped with keeping the man's hair off his face, which put a shy smile on Martyn's face.
"Wow, that... Wow. Thanks, dude."
"Anytime."
The dog continued to brush his hair, but at some point let out a pained huff, as his back pain flared up again. Martyn immediately turned around - at first expecting some sort of danger, but then to see the pain in Ren's eyes. He sighed and looked at him with worry.
"What's wrong...?"
"Nothing, it's just... My back... I'm not a pup anymore." Ren chuckled and rolled his eyes, trying to downplay his pain.
"What do you mean? Did you get hurt? Did someone attack you earlier? Show me."
"Dude, it's fine, it's nothi-"
"Show. Now."
Ren could only pray that there was no visible blush on his face as Martyn said that. He reluctantly unbuttoned his shirt, and sat with his backside to Martyn. As much as he wanted there to be nothing of worry to Martyn, his confused tone clearly showed otherwise.
"W-what is this, Ren...?"
Ren's whole backside and parts of his arms were covered in black. It looked as if he had a huge ink blot on his body, starting along his spine and spilling alongside his sides and hips. The edges were uneven and asymmetrical. The blackened skin appeared unnaturally soft, cold and completely free from body hair. Instead, Martyn could see what looked like several white speckles, or maybe freckles. Almost as if he was looking at the night sky.
"Who did this to you...?"
"...you don't wanna know."
"It looks... Well, I can't tell if it looks painful, but it looks... Weird... Does it hurt when I touch...?"
Martyn reached out his finger to touch the strange, void rot-ridden skin... Before suddenly, an eye opened on the skin. And then another, and another, and another. All of them empty, with a strange, purple sigil replacing the pupil - and all of them staring right at them. Before a haze completely covered his mind and dulled his senses, Martyn jumped back with a horrified scream. Ren immediately tensed, all of the eyes closing at once, as if they were never there.
"W-what? Martyn, my dude, what's wrong?"
Martyn fell from the bed, his eyes wide opened in fear and his whole body shaking. Ren shivered at the sensation of the eyes closing, despite not even being aware that they were there.
"You wanted him to know the truth? Here, Uranus. Let's see what you do with this."
"No..." Ren whispered, immediately grabbing his head and pulling on his hair. He grabbed his shirt and immediately covered himself. "Martyn, I'm so so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you, I just..."
Their eyes locked in for just a moment. The fear and horror he saw in Martyn's eyes... It was as if someone pierced his heart with a hundred rusted nails. He already pushed Martyn so far, and this time, he couldn't even stop what happened to him... His whole body felt stiff and wrong, as if it was not even his anymore. He pulled the shirt closer.
"I'm sorry..."
Ren immediately turned around and left the house. It took Martyn a moment, but he pulled himself up from the floor. The fear and horror he just felt was nothing compared to the heart crushing feeling of seeing Ren run away from him.
"Ren!..."
The dog did not turn around, however, and Martyn's body felt too limp to run after him. He just stood there, his breathing heavy, unable to process what just happened. He sat on his bed, his hands still trembling. There was one singular, intrusive thought that persisted in the anxious storm that his mind cooked up for him.
The eyes... Why did they look so... Familiar...?
Chapter 27: INTERMISSION: The loneliest of soulmates
Summary:
TW: Mentions of brutal deaths (non graphic)
Ren and Grian get a chance to talk. Unfortunately, they don't see eye to eye.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"I wish on judgement on my watchful eyes."
Everything that Ren said during their last encounter couldn't slip Grian's mind. He knew Ren well and - true, Ren was quite a weird individual. But he's never been this weird. Surrounded by this aura of mystery, as if he knew more than he led on. Not to mention, showing signs of void rot... Even he, someone who spent a lot of time in the void between different games and servers, hasn't developed it yet. The longer he thought about it, the more concerned he was. Maybe he and Ren were not the closest, but he didn't want his friend to get caught up in powers beyond him.
Not to mention, if there was the slightest chance of him meddling with the games... Grian was having none of that.
After a few days of mulling it over, Grian decided to leave Red Velvet Keep and head south, intending to find any sort of secluded area. Getting interrupted during such a private conversation would not only be very awkward, but also potentially dangerous. And if there were any problems with the games, he had to be the one to fix it.
Immediately upon reciting the command and covering his eyes with his lesser wings, Grian found himself in the endless abyss. His jumper gave way to his Watcher attire - a long, grey robe. His wings spread much further than ever, as if the confines of the server couldn't allow them to open all the way. Despite his eyes remaining shielded, he could very well see who, or rather what was around him - a circle of several Watchers, all of them waiting for him to adapt to the new environment. Grian sighed. After spending so long on an actual living servers, this place started giving him the creeps again.
"Hi, guys..."
"What is it, Admin?"
Grian cleared his throat. The sooner he was done with it and knew what to do about Ren, the better.
"Listen, I need to ask you something. You know Ren, right?"
"Uranus."
"What do you mean my-" Grian immediately bit his tongue, then looked at them with an amused expression. "Wait, wait... What did you just call him...?"
"You established this rule yourself, Admin. To call every winner after a celestial body, to represent their strength and power."
"Yes, every winner ... I won 3rd Life, and Scott won Last Life... Since when is Ren a winner...?"
"Not in this life, not yet."
"You guys are less helpful than ever. Can't you guys speak to me normally? I'm a Watcher too, hello! I'll understand!"
"Fine. Open your eyes, Admin. We'll show you."
Despite his apprehension, Grian folded his lesser wings, uncovering his eyes. All of a sudden, he was no longer in the void. He was standing on the top of a mountain, on a server he'd never seen before. There were clear signs of carnage that swept over the land, as if another bloody death game already ran through the place. The scent of blood and smoke weighed heavily in the air. Grian flinched as he looked down, and the first person he saw was... Himself, laying dead on the ground, horribly beaten up and with face mangled in pain.
"The hell is this...?" He hummed.
Just a second later, the sounds of struggle reached him. There were two players left, intertwined in combat. One of them was Joel, just as beaten up, but somehow still up and fighting. The other was... Ren... And Martyn, at the same time. Grian wasn't able to quite tell who that was - their body looked like an amalgamate of the two players, stitched together in half and probably holding up by sheer willforce and spite. Despite the clear agony the combined player must've been in, Grian watched with wide eyes as he grabbed Joel by the head, causing the shorter man to furiously flail.
"I'm sorry, Joel. I need to see him again."
Grian closed his eyes to not see it, but the snapping sound of a breaking neck still reached him. The next time he looked, the strange fusion was the last person standing, with Joel laying lifelessly at his feet.
"Who... What is that..?" Grian asked, his face contorted in disgust.
"He asked to call himself Martren."
"Mart...Ren...? Oh no, oh no no no no no..." Grian nervously giggled, pulling on his lesser wings. "You gotta be kidding me, Ren... Ren, you absolute idiot..."
Grian could only watch as another circle of Watchers surrounded Martren. He could barely see the player between the mass of feathers - but he could clearly pick up on the pained, but cold expression on his face. As if he didn't even care that he just killed Joel. And, guessing by the damage, Grian as well. Who knows who else.
"What do you wish for, winner?"
"I'm not done. I gotta try again. This time I've got it, I know it."
"Are you not satisfied with how much misery you brought?"
"This is not about them. It's about him. You wipe them all anyway, right? So it shouldn't matter."
"You learn fast, Uranus."
"Stop calling me that. It's not gonna stick."
"As long as you stick to the same wish, we ought to call you that. "
Martren sighed, then sat down on the ground and tilted his head back. His existence was pure torture - that much Grian could tell by just looking at him. He could pick up on the little tremors and involuntary flexing of muscles, as if his own body wasn't listening to him.
"Fine, whatever. Let's just restart this whole shitshow."
"Yours will be done."
As much as the Admin wanted to feel bad for him...
He was furious.
The moment they were back at the void, Grian didn't waste any time blowing up at his siblings.
"You knew about all that? You allowed it? Without even telling me?!"
"We informed you of that. But with each cycle, you were doomed to forget."
"With each cycle- What? How many times has this gone on?- No, wait, I don't think I wanna know." Grian clenched his fists, his wings trembling from anger. "He ruined my game and basically trapped us all here? For what?!"
The Watchers remained silent. It was rare for one of them to show any emotions... They didn't expect them to be so delicious . They had little time to feast, however - as a cocky, mischievous smirk appeared on Grian's face, and he turned back to face them.
"Where is he now?"
"Headed towards his home."
"You guys wait here. I'll be back with him in a moment."
"Ours will be done."
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
Grian jerked awake at the edge of the jungle, then immediately headed towards the other edge of the map. The hum of his own blood in his ears was so loud, he could barely hear someone following and calling after him. He was already seeing red, despite still being on a green life. He had no further context to Ren's conversation with the Watchers, but there were a few things he could tell already. The conversation was brief, as if both sides already knew what was going on... Which means they didn't show him the first time Ren won that game and asked the Watchers to start over. That question actually started bothering him again, and he quietly wished he asked his siblings about it. How many cycles has Ren gone through already, to end up with void rot consuming his body? How did it start? What game was it? And what happened that it looked like he and Martyn were fused together? What did Martyn even have to do with anything? Fine, these two’s relationship was... Interesting, to say the least, but did that mean-
"Grian!" Suddenly, someone grabbed him by the shoulder, making Grian flinch. "Man! I've been calling out to you! What happened? Where are you goin'?"
The avian turned around and sighed at the sight of BigB. In all of his confusion and anger, he didn't even notice him... Did he eavesdrop on his conversation with the Watchers?
"Sorry... You didn't hear anything, did you?"
"Hear what?"
"Good, good..."
His friend and his secret soulmate looked genuinely worried about him. Grian put his hand on BigB's, then lowered his wings, trying to relieve the tension that built up in his back. Even if he was cryptic and hard to understand, he brought Grian so much comfort...
But to complete what he wanted to do, he had to end his life as well. The avian sighed and put his hand on BigB's cheek.
"B... You know that you matter a lot to me, right...?" He asked quietly.
"Yeah, man... Why...?"
"I... I need to do something. You won't like it, and I'm sorry. But I have to do it."
"Wha- What do you mean? Grian...?"
Grian left a quick kiss on BigB's cheek, then let go of him and turned around. BigB continued to watch him for a while longer, just standing there, not sure what to say. He wanted to call out to Grian, to ask for an explanation, to maybe even help him...
But maybe some things are better left unresolved.
Ren wished he could turn around, go back to Martyn's base and explain everything to him. Tell him about the other games, the seemingly endless loop, the void rot, the Watchers... But it was too late. He already ruined the best chance he had by freaking Martyn out. He failed again. Another game down the drain. Maybe even another cycle. Did he even still have it in him to start another one? He'd have to hold on for three games longer, slaughter everything again, ask for the same wish, and then begin again.
Again ... He was beginning to despite this word. It was the simplest representation of all of his mistakes and failures. Every time, he failed to bring Martyn and himself back together... He failed to give them the happy ending they deserved. Well, the happy ending Martyn deserved, at least. He no longer hoped to save himself. But if he could, somehow, give Martyn safety and peace of mind, after everything he's been through... Everything Ren pulled him through... Even if he ruined himself in the process. It would have been worth it.
Ren panted as he ran up the stairs towards the Box. He needed to figure out a new plan, and to that, he needed peace and quiet.
"BigB?" He called out, hoping to hear back from his soulmate. He swung the door open-
Only for a giant stalactite to drop on him from the ceiling, crushing him on the spot.
Rendog was skewered by a falling stalactite.
Bigbst4tz2 died.
Grian looked at the chat to confirm that he indeed got his target, then he sighed. Usually, he would've been ecstatic to get such a clean kill, especially after seeing the others' reactions on the chat.
<Smallishbeans> LOOOOOOOOL
<Tango> WHO DID THAT
<Pearlescentmoon> Who killed him
<Ethoslab> First reds in first reds out
<Inthelittlewood> ???????
But it wasn't enough. He was still furious from the revelation. Revenge was not enough - he needed answers . So, he climbed down the ladder, nudged Ren's mangled body as if to confirm that he was really, truly dead, then covered his eyes for the second time that day.
After all, he told them he'd be quick.
Ren gasped for air, his lungs only filled with the nothingness of the abyss. He groaned and punched his forehead with his palm. He could've seen it coming... It wasn't the first time he ended this game this way, but this was... Different. Earlier than usual. He didn't remember ever being the first person to be out in this particular game... Not to mention, he and BigB were the only reds on the server. Who would target him like that, to eliminate him so early into the game? He only had one idea, and he could only hope he wasn't correct...
"Ren. We need to talk."
The dog sighed, then turned around. He could feel the void around him being unstable, barely holding him upright. And the moment he saw Grian in front of him, his wings wide opened and covered in tens of eyes, all of them staring right at him... Looks like his suspicions were correct.
<Rendog> I guess I should've expected it
"What do you mean, expected it?"
<Rendog> What do you want?
"What do I want? Ren! You know what you've done! The others told me!"
Immediately, the Watchers around them announced their presence with the loud rustle of their wings. The dog sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. The scent of his own blood filled his nose, the thick substance sticking his hair together.
"How long has this been going on?"
<Rendog> I lost count already
"Oh really?"
<Rendog> Alright, fine
<Rendog> I stopped counting when I got to thirty
"THIRTY?! Ren, you've infiltrated my own game, kept replaying it over and over while dragging us with you and without even letting us know... And you did that at least thirty times?"
<Rendog> We could be getting close to fifty now, to be honest
Grian groaned loudly and covered his eyes with his hands. He and Ren were friends, sure, even if they sometimes had a hard time understanding each other... All this time, Grian thought he knew Ren well. His friend was dramatic, a bit goofy, and liked being the center of attention... But, all in all, he seemed rather harmless. But that revelation completely shattered the view of him that Grian held. And now to see him, covered in his own blood, with this anger in his eyes, as if he was a hunter, who just got caught before catching his prey... A question arose in his mind. Was he even still Ren, after all this time...?
"How did it start...?" He asked quietly, struggling to keep his composure.
<Rendog> I won Wild Life and asked these guys to bring Martyn back
<Rendog> To give us a happy ending
<Rendog> Instead, they restarted the games and made me go through all of it all over again
<Rendog> And I kinda kept going, hoping that at some point I'd just figure out how to reach this happy ending.
Grian blinked, staring at Ren and his ridiculous confession. Then, he started giggling, and the giggle quickly turned into laughter. The dog growled angrily, his tail brushing against his legs, his ears pinned down. Just a moment ago, Grian looked furious. Why was he laughing now? Wasn't this whole situation tragic?
<Rendog> Whatcha laughing at
"Oh, Ren..." Grian could still barely stop laughing. "Dude... I took you for a clever guy, but..."
<Rendog> But what?
In an instant, Grian's face was right in front of Ren's. The dog flinched his back, but his body suddenly felt stiff. As if staring into the Watcher's tens of eyes paralyzed him with a feeling he couldn't quite identify.
"There is no such thing as a happy ending. Not in my games."
<Rendog> Are you threatening me?
Even speaking - if one could call it speaking - became hard for Ren. As if his whole body was no longer listening to him. If it was still his body.
"I'm warning you. You made an enemy you never should've made."
<Rendog> You wouldn't have done the same, if given the chance?
<Rendog> You wouldn't have given Scar a happy ending if you could?
The tiniest bit of hesitation crossed Grian's eyes, only to be replaced with more fuming anger. Of course, Ren saw all these games tens, maybe hundreds of times... He probably saw every single instance of his and Scar's relationship. And now, he'd hang it over Grian. As if he understood how truly was between them. That was a good question, though. Would he?
"Don't act like you know us. Like you know me . I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but this... This has to end."
<Rendog> You can't stop me
"Yes, I can."
With just one snap of Grian's fingers, heavy chains wrapped around Ren's body, tying him up in place. The last semblance of stability crumbled under his feet, making him lose his stable position and sending him spinning in the zero gravity environment of the void. The chains dug deep into his skin, burning against his void rot-ridden skin. The dog groaned in pain, flailing and fighting against his bindings.
<Rendog> LET ME GO
"You're staying right here, until I can fix this mess. Then, I guess we'll figure out what to do with you. And about Martyn."
<Rendog> DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM
After the chains settled in place, a metal collar made of the same material snap shut around Ren's neck. And then, another metal plate, this time covering his eyes and obscuring his vision.
"Don't worry... I don't need to hurt him. He's good at doing that himself." A big grin crossed Grian's face. Despite not being able to see it, Ren could somehow see it. Maybe even feel it through his words. "Seeya around, Uranus."
<Rendog> DON'T LEAVE ME HERE
<Rendog> GRIAN
<Rendog> please
But nobody answered him, not even the rustle of feathers of the Watchers. The dog curled up, trying to take a somewhat comfortable position, despite the burning pain vibrating through his body. So it was like that... Grian just left him to rot here. And, in all honesty, he couldn't blame him.
Even as he drifted away into his own mind, all he could think about was Martyn. How much he longed to see him again, how much he hoped his lover would be okay without him...
And how he'd do it over and over again, if that meant getting to see him one last time.
Notes:
I had some thoughts about who is in the right vs in the wrong in this story, who we could classify as a protagonist vs an antagonist... Especially when it comes to Ren. I'm curious for your thoughts, so if you wanna share them in the comments, feel free, I'd love to read em :3
Chapter 28: The bonds we tie with blood
Summary:
TW: Brief descriptions of gore.
Martyn and Cleo finally make up. Somewhat.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Rendog was skewered by a falling stalactite.
"No..." Martyn gasped as he read the latest death message appearing on the chat. He was at a complete loss for words, to the point that he only commented on it with a few question marks. He wanted to say much more... But what was the point? Ren, out of everyone, was gone again. And who else would listen to him? Now he was really, truly alone, with nobody to turn to. He could only imagine what happened to his friend, and every time he did, a cold shiver went down his spine. As if he was to blame for what happened to Ren.
There was only one idea Martyn had on what to do. Just like back at Dogwarts, he confined himself to his base, not allowing anyone in. Ren and BigB's deaths were soon followed by Jimmy and Tango. Seeing their ranch burn from his windows was strangely heartwarming. Day by day, more people dropped to red - and somehow, he and his unfortunate soulmate were the last yellows standing. That was to be expected - as long as they could stay apart, they were strong, capable players, who didn't get themselves in much trouble. Not to mention, being completely abandoned by his only friend made Martyn stop abusing their soulbond. Every time he saw Cleo out his window, he felt tempted to once again slam his hand with a chest lid, or stab himself with something sharp. He couldn't allow himself to play around anymore, though. He could only silently thank Cleo for staying out of trouble for their sake.
Every time Martyn attempted to sleep, he was jolted awake with the mental image of eyes covering Ren's back. They looked like some kind of strange mutation, a parasite maybe - which would explain why Ren wanted to hide it from the world. It didn't explain one thing, however... Martyn couldn't shake off the feeling that he'd seen them before. The void-like darkness, the eyes... Especially the sigils making up their pupils. He attempted to redraw it from memory into his journal, and after a few tries, he got as close as he could. A rectangle shape, with two diagonal corners replaced with little circles. It was familiar to him... Like a memory long buried, and buried so deep that he had trouble recognizing it as a real one. But it had to be real.
Otherwise, it wouldn't hurt so much to think about it.
Every time I look at that symbol, it feels like I'm dissociating. As if I've seen it hundreds of lifetimes ago. However stupid that sounds. Once the new game starts, I gotta ask Ren what it means. Is there anyone else who would know? Maybe Grian. He made these games after all, the bastard. If there is any weird business going on, he has to know what's going on. I just hope I don't get into any deeper shit than I already am. At this point, maybe being stuck in the void forever is better than whatever the hell is going on here.
After a few days, Martyn finally decided to make a move. He couldn't stay at his base forever - he couldn't just keep pretending nobody was home when anyone knocked on his door. After Scott and Pearl died and turned red, both him and Cleo instantly got giant targets on their back. And there was only one way to fix that, even if he hated the idea of approaching the one person who despised him. He couldn't blame her, though.
One evening, Martyn finally sneaked out of his base. Even as the reds roamed the server, it was safer to move under the cover of the night. Not all of them were up at this time, some of them instead returning to their bases to rest or prepare for the next day. The man kept his eyes on Red Velvet Keep and the Relation-ship, making sure that none of the players living there spotted him.
He never finished the bridge connecting his base to Cleo's - the few times he tried, all it took was to see the zombie's disapproving glance to deter him from trying further. This meant he had to go around to meet with her - either from east, or the west. Going east meant he'd have to get close to the Relation-ship, going west meant cutting his way short through Scott's front yard. The second option seemed a lot safer. The other players shot him a lot bloodlusty stares, but Scott was the only person who still seemed about normal. Martyn clutched his sword in his hand as he walked along the edge of the ravine. The night was incredibly quiet, almost unbearably so. It meant nobody was bothering him and trying to kill him - but it could also mean he just couldn't see anyone try to kill him. It took only three of these games to teach him a few valuable lessons - he could never feel fully safe. Especially when he was on his own. As much as he hated the idea of grovelling in front of Cleo, it was for their own good. And in case grovelling didn't help, he had one more ace up his sleeve.
As he spotted Scott standing in his window, Martyn froze in place like a deer in headlights. He's been spotted, his position compromised. Scott seemed friendly, sure, but he was still a red... He only moved once Scott opened the front door - Martyn raised his weapon and took a step back.
"Don't even try me."
"I'm not... What are you doing here? I was worried... You haven't left your house in a while."
"How do you know?"
"I can see it from my windows, idiot. Besides, Cleo mentioned you stopped acting like a jerk. She thought you died in there."
"I didn't. I need to talk to her. Where is she?"
His sentences were short and commanding. From his previous experience with Scott - at least the parts he remembered - he could tell that the guy wasn't out to get him. Maybe he was even genuine. Even if Martyn wasn't sure how he deserved that.
"In her base, probably. Just... Don't do anything stupid, okay?"
"I probably will."
Martyn turned towards the bridge connecting the two sides of the ravine. The cold breeze flew over him, making his whole body tremble for a moment. It was a bad idea, wasn't it? He only really had one idea on how to convince Cleo to take him in at last. And if that didn't work... There was always plan B. But he could only hope it wouldn't be necessary.
Eventually, he knocked on the door and took a step back. He nervously tapped his foot on the grass, as he couldn't keep all his pent up energy inside. Instead of clutching his sword in his hands, he attached it to his belt - despite being at a disadvantage, he couldn't show that he was completely helpless. The moment Cleo finally opened the door and groaned at the sight of her soulmate, he inhaled sharply and began to speak.
"Cleo-"
"No, Martyn. We talked about it. We're not trying again."
The zombie attempted to shut the door on him, before Martyn slid his foot between the door and the doorframe. He was more stubborn the last time around... Cleo raised her eyebrow, then looked at him.
"What do you want?"
"You know what. We're the last yellows. If we don't team up now, we never will."
"That's fine with me. I'd rather fight off the whole server than team up with you for a day."
Dang it. That was a tough one. Martyn sighed, then rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"We won't win if we stay like this forever-"
"You care about winning? I don't. I just wanna get out of here. And as we know, winning doesn't change that."
"Maybe it will this time?"
"Martyn, just-" Cleo groaned and rolled their eyes. "Listen. I know why you're here. You lost the only guy who didn't hate being around you, and now you're desperately looking for allies. Isn't that right?"
The man opened his mouth to snark back, but then closed it right away. He then repeated it a few more times, as a perfect ripostes came and went. She saw right through him, didn't she? As much as he hated to admit it, she was right. If Ren didn't get eliminated, he would've probably never approached her. But Ren was gone, and the silence he left Martyn with was unbearable. He needed to have someone, even if that someone hated his guts. Not like he didn't deserve it.
Martyn sighed and, to Cleo's surprise, dropped to his knees.
"Yeah..." He muttered, not even looking at her. "Whatever you said about me, you're probably right. I'm an idiot. A coward. A brute, and I ruin everything I touch. I know you didn't want to be tied to me, and I didn't want to be tied to you, but... That's how it is. And we should make the most of it, before the reds come to wreck our asses. Just give me one last chance. Please."
Cleo looked down at her soulmate and sighed. Was he trying to get her to pity him? That's what it felt like... But they also couldn't help but hear how genuinely ashamed and miserable he sounded. It almost didn't seem like the real Martyn. Did she really want to try again after this pitiful display of remorse...? It had to be a trick.
"You're not really sorry, are you? I don't think you've ever been sorry in your life."
Martyn groaned, and before Cleo could shut the door, he got up and grabbed the door to stop her. He put his other hand on the handle of his sword.
"Fine. If you don't believe me, let's solve it the other way. Fight me. If I win, you let me join you. If you win, I'll leave you alone for good. C'mon! This is how we met, isn't it? Let's do this!"
The zombie looked at him through the crack between the door and the doorframe, only the slightest twitch of her eyebrow spoiling her emotions. That was more like it. They still remembered the first time they fought Martyn outside of the burning Fairy Fort, and that was a damn good fight. Martyn who grovelled at her feet really did sound like a trap... But this way, they could finally set their record straight.
"Cleo...?"
Martyn groaned in frustration as Cleo shut the door in front of him. He rubbed his temples, trying to recollect his thoughts. Did Cleo really hate him that much? If pleading to her didn't help, and neither did challenging her to a fair duel, what else could he do?
As he turned around to leave, the quiet sound of the door creaking almost went over his head. In an instant, his fight or flight response kicked in - he jumped to the side, narrowly avoiding being hit with a giant axe. Cleo grinned and slashed her weapon at him again.
"You wanna fight to set our record straight, huh?" The zombie chuckled. "Sure, why not!"
Martyn parried the next hit, a smile finally cracking its way to his face. He took one more step back, readying himself for the defensive as Cleo attacked him yet again. He had seen her fight before. He knew exactly what to do. Even if that meant that violence was the only language they shared.
For the next several minutes, Martyn narrowly avoided the hits and slashed right back. They both danced against each other's weapons on the edge of the ravine, one wrong step from plummeting tens of feet down. They avoided physical harm as much as they could - after the first few slashes and cuts, they quickly realized that as it hurt both of them at the same time, it would end their fight sooner than they wanted. And they didn't want to end it just yet. The deeper they got into their fight, the less they wanted it to end. Each slash and parry, each move and each executed idea allowed them to read each other, almost telepathically. Martyn with his strategic piercing cuts, avoiding stronger attacks and blocking the weaker ones, constantly looking for any opportunity for an opening. Cleo with her incredible strength, dexterity allowing her to wield her axe with incredible prowess and her no-nonsense attitude towards the fight. Maybe what Martyn said during their first encounter in this game was correct. They were complete opposites - but that didn't mean they couldn't work together. This one time, tacticism and strength, defense and attack, altruism and selfishness, death and life - they blended into one. As if they were both two halves of one, pitied against each other, tied in an eternal struggle.
The next time Martyn managed to land a cut on Cleo's shoulder, he came dangerously close to apologizing for what he's just done. His body filled with a painful shock as his own body received the damage as well. His reaction felt almost stronger than Cleo's, despite who was on the receiving end. The zombie grinned and reciprocated with a slash against Martyn's leg.
"Not bad, Littlewood," She chuckled with an amused expression.
"You don't have to lie."
"I'm not. I thought you were all bark and no bite. Guess I was wrong."
"What about that fight at the Fairy Fort, then?"
"That was different. The last game. I thought you had mellowed out since then."
"Never."
"Good."
Martyn groaned, then delivered a kick to Cleo's side. The zombie stumbled back, supporting themselves on the railing of the bridge behind her. She extended her weapon, and so did Martyn - their weapons almost touching each other's throats. They locked into somewhat of a staring contest, silently examining each other's faces, as they panted from the strain and slowly bleeding out. Like two predators, waiting for the other to make any sort of mistake they could use to their advantage.
"You really want this, don't you?" Cleo growled.
"I do. For both our sakes."
"Then c'mon. Do it. Show me you really mean it."
Cleo slowly lowered their weapon, never breaking eye contact. The tip of Martyn's sword lightly pierced her throat, not enough to draw blood, but enough for him to feel it on his own skin as well. He knew what she was trying to make him do. That sounded like a horrible idea, especially after what happened last time. For just a moment, his grip on the weapon got looser.
"You sure?"
The zombie chuckled.
"I knew it. Coward."
In an instant, the blade cut right through the soft tissue on Cleo's throat, piercing through her trachea. In an instant, both their mouths filled with a taste of their rotting blood, paralyzing their bodies. Before any of them could even think of regretting what they just agreed to, both of the soulmates fell to the ground. The last thing they saw was each other, their faces devoid of any remorse.
Zombiecleo was slain by Inthelittlewood.
Inthelittlewood was slain by Inthelittlewood.
Both of them woke up just seconds later at spawn, greedily gasping for air as respawning granted them the ability to breathe again. For the next minute or so, they just sat on the ground, loudly panting, trying to calm down and process what just happened. Martyn shivered, his whole body shaking from the pain and the cold. He went too far again, didn't he? Cleo just teased him, but this was definitely not what she wanted...
"Good fight. You won."
Martyn looked up at Cleo, who was already standing over him. Her eyes turned from a peaceful, deep green to a sharp red - a sight that would usually startle him, but he was aware his own eyes probably looked the same way. The zombie extended their hand to him.
"A deal's a deal, right? You won."
"Sorry I killed you... Us."
Cleo chuckled and rolled her eyes.
"If I didn't want you to kill me, I'd never let you do that. Think about it."
"You... You allowed me to kill you. Now that we're red, we're not in so much danger, since we're no longer the last yellows." He whispered, the truth of the situation finally hitting him.
"True. And I wanted to check if you have the balls to make it work."
"And I do, don't I?"
"Apparently, yeah."
Martyn smiled and finally accepted her help in getting up. Her hand, despite being all stitched up and covered in a green tinted skin, was surprisingly warm. Almost like Ren's, and even a similar size.
"You don't hate me anymore...?"
"Well, I wouldn't go as far as that. But we can give it a try. We can have fun."
"Oh, we will have fun, believe me. I have a few ideas already."
"I'm all ears, capt'n."
His face lit up at the approving tone from Cleo. It felt incredible to finally have someone who was willing to have his back. Even if only temporarily. The last time anyone showed so much enthusiasm in sticking with him was... Ren.
Well... Let's see how long it takes until this crashes and burns, he thought, as he silently followed Cleo back to his base, to prepare for the carnage of the next day.
Notes:
If you see paralells between this and one of my earlier fics - no you don't :3
Chapter 29: Six bodies and a Warden
Summary:
A monster unleashed upon the server brings the game closer to an end than ever before.
Notes:
Sorry I didn't upload anything yesterday, I just came back to my dorm and I was exhausted
Also, you can expect my upload schedule to be a bit more flimsy these next few weeks, I'm starting a new uni semester next week and I need to get back into the mindset (at least my schedule is quite good)
Can't wait to write chapters during my lectures again :3
Chapter Text
"...and then he goes: 'I don't believe you'. And blows me the fuck up! Can you imagine?" Martyn shook his head with an amused smile and looked at Cleo. The zombie burst out laughing for yet another time. The soulmates spent the whole night together, just chatting, trying to find a common language. So far, it was working in their favor.
"Wow... Is there a single person on this server who doesn't hate you?" She chuckled, wiping off tears that appeared on her face from how hard she was laughing.
"I don't know! Do you hate me?"
"You tell me."
"I'd rather not know, actually."
"Not gonna lie, I've known Mumbo for years ... It takes a lot to piss him off this much. It must be your special talent."
"I am a man of many talents, and making enemies is one of them." Martyn admitted with a big smile, maybe a bit too cocky for what he just said. "Mumbo, Grian, Pearl, you, Ren-"
"Ren?" Cleo rolled their eyes. "Believe me, before I left Fairy fort, this guy would not shut up about you... It was always Martyn this, Martyn that... It was kinda annoying, to be honest..."
"He did...?" Martyn tilted his head a bit, surprised by the confession.
"Well, yeah! You never noticed how much he's infatuated with you? To be fair, this guy is affectionate with everyone... But it's on another level with you."
The man shrugged. He began to scratch over the bandages that covered his arms. Seeing Cleo flinch at the mutually felt sensation, he pulled away after a moment.
"I mean, I did kill him in 3rd Life... And then, in Last Life, I was kinda awful to him..." Martyn hummed and leaned his back against the bed.
From where he was sitting, he could clearly see the base where Pearl and Scott were residing - at least after Cleo forced him to uncover his barricaded windows. The sun was not yet rising over the horizon, the faint sun rays illuminating the sky in a lavender color. He couldn't recall the last time he felt like that. This... Normal. Despite being trapped in a death game with a group of people who he barely knew and who hated him, he finally found a semblance of normalcy. It almost made him feel this sense of longing for something, even though he wasn't sure he ever even experienced it in the first place. Sitting on the ground, joking around, laughing so hard his stomach hurt, not having to worry that someone is gonna attack him and kill him... It was a good feeling. One that felt both reassuring and strange. As if he didn't deserve it. It didn't take long for Cleo to notice his pensive expression, and he moved a bit closer to him.
"What's up, man?"
"I'm just..." He sighed. "I'm sorry."
"Well, that's a first..."
"It is, isn't it?" Martyn chuckled bitterly, his fingers tapping against the floor. "I'm sorry that... You had to get paired with me."
Cleo snickered under their breath.
"It's not that bad, y'know?"
Martyn perked up his head and turned to her. He almost couldn't believe what he just heard.
"What?"
"Yeah, I wish I got paired with Scott or someone... But that would be like playing on easy mode. And I like challenges. And you're one heck of a challenge."
"I can tell." Martyn chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. He then quietly huffed as he felt something under his bed, something that he didn't notice before. He reached his hand under the bed, then pulled out a pair of dark sunglasses. "Oh! Ren must've left them here..."
"Rest in peace, Ren." Cleo chuckled. "Well, at least he doesn't have to deal with this soulmates bullshit anymore..."
"I'unno, he seemed pretty happy with BigB..." Martyn shrugged, slowly rotating the glasses in his hands. The lenses looked worn down and carried a lot of scratches - how did Ren even bear to use them? He then put them on and, attempting to imitate Ren's accent, spoke to Cleo: "What's up, my dude?"
"Stop it..." Cleo snickered and playfully punched his shoulder. Martyn grinned, then took off the glasses and slid them into his pocket.
"I could do that all day! And-"
He then stopped as he heard a notification go off on his wristband. Two new death messages popped up on chat, signifying the elimination of another two players.
Grian was obliterated by a sonically-charged shriek.
Goodtimewithscar died.
"Oop! There they go!" Martyn chuckled upon the message. "Good riddance, you jerk! And Scar."
"Wait, wait, hold up-" Cleo also looked at the message, an expression of worry crossing her face. "A 'sonically-charged shriek'...? How did he do that...?"
"Well... They probably went to the Ancient city, didn't they? Probably to get to the Enchanter..."
"You think so? I don't think Grian would be so careless that he would get himself killed by a Warden like that..." The zombie hummed and looked at Martyn. "Scar maybe, but Grian? Unless..."
"Unless..." Martyn repeated, then turned towards the door.
Just a few seconds later, a loud, booming roar crossed the area, making the glass panes in the windows shake. The players looked at each other, then left the house, grabbing their weapons on their way.
"Cleo! What's going on?" Both of them heard Scott calling towards them from his base. The zombie just shrugged.
"I don't know! I mean, I have an idea, but..."
"There it is, look!" Martyn pulled her by the shoulder and gestured towards the forest.
A large, bipedal monster stumbled its way through a dense forest overgrowing the hills behind the ranch. The stubby legs kept tripping over bumpy tree roots and its strong arms hit against the trunks, long claws digging into treebark. The creature's whole body was covered in a dark growth, almost reminescent of moss, but darker and glowing at the same time. Its whole face was made up of its huge maw, full of sharp teeth and rendering the creature devoid of eyes or a nose. Antler-like growths spread from the sides of its head, the different parts constantly shifting and changing as it detected its surroundings. The monster's ribcage was split open, bones peeking out of its dark skin, with a glowing, teal mass bubbling underneath. Both Cleo and Martyn recoiled in horror.
"What the hell?" Martyn groaned, but then quickly covered his mouth. Despite being unable to see, Wardens had impeccable hearing, so once it was able to track them, it would basically be over. He quickly reached over to his wristband and began typing.
<Inthelittlewood> WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO
<Smallishbeans> What happened
<Pearlescentmoon> ???
<ZombieCleo> Warden
<Inthelittlewood> YOU BETTER GET YOUR SORRY ASSES OVER HERE AND HELP US
<Ethoslab> We'll be there in a moment
<BdoubleO100> Sounds like a you problem
<Inthelittlewood> GET OVER HERE OR WE'LL LEAD IT TO YOUR STUPID HOUSE
Martyn sighed with relief as he saw Pearl and Scott sneak their way towards them. He tried keeping one eye on the Warden, in case it started approaching them sooner than expected.
"Where the heck did you get a Warden?" Pearl whispered in a sharp, accusatory tone.
"We? It was Grian and Scar! It killed them!" Martyn managed to whisper-shout, to not attract the beast towards them. "And now that they're dead, we have to deal with it!"
"Any ideas?" Scott asked, his trusting expression landing on Martyn. The blond man felt almost overwhelmed at the gesture. He rubbed his chin, thinking the whole situation over.
"It can tank a lot of hits, and we're vulnerable since we take so much damage as soulmates..." Martyn hummed. He turned to watch the monster, who was trying to break down the gate leading to the ranch. "I have an idea. But we need a lot of dynamite. And the help of the other-
Then, all of them flinched as another notification popped up on their wristbands.
Ethoslab tried to swim in lava.
Smallishbeans tried to swim in lava.
"Oh for the love of- Ughhhh, you idiots!" Martyn groaned loudly. He then immediately turned towards the Warden, who clearly picked up on the voice. The growth covering its antlers turned towards the flimsy bridge where they were just standing. The monster's chest started emitting a strong, blinking light.
"Crap... Run!"
Martyn pulled Cleo by the shoulder and pulled her after himself as he jumped down the bridge into the river at the bottom of the ravine. Scott and Pearl followed soon after, narrowly avoiding the Warden's attack. The sonic blasts still hit Martyn's house, blowing it up to smithereens. The debris crashed into the water, the players barely managing to swim around it and not get hit. The man gasped as he witnessed the destruction, but forced himself to remain quiet. Just a few minutes ago he was inside with Cleo, basking in the feeling of safety... Only to have it taken away from him in a matter of seconds. The reality hit him like a truck yet again. No wonder he didn't feel like he earned his safety. If it was gone so quickly, he should've never counted on it in the first place.
"So? Martyn?" Scott turned to Martyn, awaiting for his plan.
"I..." Martyn took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. The moment he felt Cleo's hand grab and squeeze his own, his eyes lit up ever so slightly. They still had a chance to save themselves... Before they would ultimately turn on each other again. "We can still do this. Scott, you're going with me. We need all the TNT we can get, and some End crystals as well. Pearl, Cleo, you lure the Warden away and let us prepare the trap."
"Hang on-" Pearl immediately protested "I'm not leaving my soulmate with you, you psycho!"
"If you both get attacked by the Warden, you're both goners. If only you take the hit, you have a chance of survival." Martyn spoke in a very stern, matter of fact tone. It was not the time to argue about details, and the sooner his unfortunate temporary allies understood that, the better. "If you see the others, tell Bdubs to join you, and Impulse to get all their TNT and join us. We'll text you where to lure the Warden."
"Good luck." Cleo whispered and squeezed Martyn's hand under the water. The blond man sighed with relief.
"You too. You lead the way, Cleo."
"I will."
After the players left the river and carefully climbed up the ravine, they immediately attempted to put their plan into action. Cleo and Pearl approached the Warden, while keeping a safe distance and holding their shields up. Martyn immediately ran with Scott towards his base and they retrieved all the explosives and materials to make them that they could find.
At first, they remained silent. It was hard to name them what their relationship at that point was exactly. The circumstances forced them to work together, but neither of them seemed particularly upset about it. Scott's words about being open to teaming up with Martyn next season kept bouncing around in the man's head. Maybe there was a reason both Pearl and Cleo wanted to team up with him...? Well, since they had to choose between Scott and him, the choice seemed rather obvious. Apparently there was something to this guy that made people want to join him. Maybe it was just this charismatic aura that surrounded him as a past winner. Maybe it was something else that Martyn couldn't exactly name.
"What do we do if the Warden survives this?" Scott suddenly asked, as they carried all the dynamite towards the hill where they first spotted the Warden. The question immediately brought Martyn back from his overthinking state, and he shook his head before answering.
"It shouldn't survive... Look at this stuff. But even if it does, the blast will probably leave it stunned for a while. We can just finish the job ourselves."
"Fair enough." Scott nodded, then turned to Martyn. "You and Cleo made up...?"
"I... I'd like to think we did."
"Then why are you both on red...?"
Before Martyn could answer, the sounds of someone's fast footsteps and panting reached them. The two players turned around and sighed with relief upon seeing Impulse, who ran towards them, his hands full of TNT.
"There you are!" He gasped as he stopped right next to them. "Cleo told me what happened... Where's Joel and Etho?"
"Dead. C'mon." Martyn's tone immediately changed from calm and almost warm to sharp and commanding. "The sooner we're over with this, the better."
It didn't take them long to find a perfect spot for their trap - a small clearing in the middle of the forest, surrounded from all sides by trees. The three players remained silent as they placed the TNT in strategic places - in the middle of the clearing, with two walls of dynamite with a narrow space between them. The idea was to let the players run through, get the Warden stuck on the wall it couldn't pass, and then shoot one of the End crystals to blow up the whole trap. They even dug some of the TNT into the ground and surrounded their makeshift wall, so that the damage from all sides ensured that the Warden would die. As the wall was almost finished, Martyn climbed one of the trees and grabbed his bow.
"Impulse," he commanded, "Message the others our coordinates. And then set up the End crystals on top of the walls, so that Scott and I can shoot 'em."
"On it." Impulse nodded and reached over to his wristband. At the same time, Scott climbed a tree on the opposite side of the clearing, his bow already prepared to shoot at any moment. Martyn watched him with a cold, calculated expression, as he grabbed an arrow and aimed it. As the man placed the crystals in easily shootable spots, he looked up at his friend. "Now what?"
"Stay there."
In an instant, an arrow whizzed through the air and hit Impulse right in the leg. The player groaned in pain and lost his balance, falling right inside the trap. Scott gasped in terror upon witnessing the sudden betrayal.
"Martyn!-"
"Stay there." Martyn sharply whispered at Scott. "If you help him, you're gonna die too. Think about Pearl."
"Scott..." Impulse pleaded, trying to drag himself away from the trap.
Too late.
Just a few moments later, a group of players ran right into the trap. First Cleo, who jumped over Impulse, probably not even noticing him. She squeezed through the hole in the wall, escaping it to safety. Then Bdubs, already limping from the phantom pain, ran up to his soulmate when he saw him injured. And then Pearl, with the Warden right on her tail the entire time.
"Impulse, Bdubs! Move!" She yelled, attempting to jump over the wall to avoid him.
Martyn and Scott looked at each other for just a while. Seeing three of his friends, including his soulmate, so close to the trap, made him hesitate about the whole plan.
But Martyn was not so easily discouraged.
Upon shooting the End crystal, the whole trap detonated. The roar of the exploding dynamite made all of their ears ring. In a matter of seconds, the whole clearing turned into a giant crater, with three players and a Warden laying on the very bottom, scorched and clearly very much dead. Martyn glanced at his wristband and sighed with relief.
BdoubleO100 blew up.
ImpulseSV blew up.
"Finally..." He sighed and slid the tree trunk, landing on the grass next to Cleo. The annoying ringing in his ear wouldn't stop. He watched over the carnage with a satisfied smile. Scott fell from the tree, his body burned just as much as Pearl. The blond man sighed, then turned to Cleo. "How do we end it now...?"
"What happened with Impulse...?" Cleo asked with a tinge of worry in her tone.
"Don't worry about it... They're dead." Martyn smirked and put his hand on her shoulder. "It's just us, Cleo. But there can only be one winner, right...?"
"What do you mean...?"
"Wait, I have an idea. I'll give you a running start. How about that?"
"A... What...?"
The zombie took a step back as Martyn replaced his bow with a sword. She then stepped back some more, looking one last time at the destroyed clearing. She could swear she saw Scott's hand move...
"I should've known you'd betray me." He growled at her soulmate. Martyn smirked.
"See? You know me so well..." He chuckled, the whole situation looking almost like a joke to him. "I'll count down from ten. Better use this wisely. Ten ..."
Chapter 30: Joined by souls, divided by hearts
Summary:
TW: Depictions of bodily harm
Martyn and Cleo fight one last time.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"I'll count down from ten. Better use this wisely. Ten... "
A myriad of thoughts crashed through Cleo's mind. She wanted to run. She wanted to fight. She wanted to curse out at Martyn, so long and so loud that he'd regret even thinking about betraying them. She wanted to go check up on Pearl and Scott - as much as them surviving the blast seemed impossible, all she could do was pray for a miracle. But above all, she didn't want it to end like this. For them to meet, fall apart, make up, and then fall apart once more.
"Don't you dare. I trusted you. You really want to tell me that this fight we had... The whole night we spent talking and trying to understand each other... It meant nothing to you, didn't it?"
Martyn looked up and down at his soulmate. Maybe it was a bad idea after all. Despite their rocky start, Cleo proved to be a good ally... And with this, he completely crashed and burned everything they had. Just like with Ren, just like with Mumbo. The difference was, one of the people he already ruined, while the other seemingly abandoned him for good. And he had a good idea who Cleo was following. Even if he regretted his decision, it was too late to go back. The Captain never changed his mind.
"Nine..." He continued counting down, taking a step in their direction. Once again, Cleo stepped back and gritted her teeth.
"Fine. Just don't cry when you're completely alone. It'll be your fault."
"Eight..."
Cleo's grip on their axe tightened, but then she turned around and ran through the forest, as far away from Martyn as they could. At that point, it didn't matter whether he'd see them as a coward - she couldn't care less about his opinion anymore. As if they ever even mattered to her. That was just the ugly truth - this thin string of connection they managed to weave between each other was never real. Martyn just needed her to finish off the others. As much as she wanted to resist, more and more impossible scenarios crossed her mind. What if Joel and Etho didn't mysteriously die? What if the trap didn't work, or wasn't strong enough? What if the relentless Warden caught and killed her, eliminating Martyn by proxy? And above all, what if she never agreed to try and make up with him after all? If she was to turn back time, she'd slap their old self and tell them to never trust that scrawny blue-eyed scum. But it was too late, far too late. Her time was running out, and all she could do was figure out how to end this once and for all.
"Seven..."
They could hear Martyn running a few dozen feet behind them. Giving me a running start, my ass, a thought crossed Cleo's mind. He probably also wanted to finish this already. She jumped over a fallen tree and took a sharp turn left. If only she could circle the hill and go back to the trap... Pearl and Scott's death messages were absent from the chat. At least for now. They could still be alive, and Cleo still had time to get back to them. But then what? Even if they were alive, they had to be heavily injured. In no shape to get up and fight Martyn with them. The zombie groaned and rolled their eyes. Why did they even think that Martyn's idea could be mutually beneficial to everyone? It's Martyn . He'd always choose to help himself before anyone else. And Cleo got front row seats to witness him committing to this lifestyle yet another time. The previous night replayed in her mind. She was there with him, listening to him describing each of his previous failures with other people... How could she even think that she wasn't gonna be the next one? That this was going to be different in any way? Pathetic.
"Six..."
Martyn jumped over a fallen tree and stopped, looking around the thick forest. How could've she escaped him?- No, they didn't escape him. They were just hiding. Like a coward. Like prey. And he was still the hunter. The one in power. And as long as he didn't give in, didn't show any signs of hesitation, he'd be fine. As long as he could stay on his own, and not let anyone in, he'd be all good.
If only this 'being all good' didn't mean being stuck in a perpetual loop of loneliness and pain.
Instead of running after Cleo, wherever she went, Martyn calmly followed the trail of trampled grass. He still had time to play with her. They were linked, so killing her would be like killing himself, sure - but there could only be one winner. And once he achieved that status, he would finally prove to everyone, and to himself, that he didn't need anyone else. That the great Captain was a self-sustainable war machine. That everyone who was concerned about him, his self isolation, his self-destructing, his constant spiraling - that they were just a bunch of spineless worrywarts. He looked down at the blade of his sword, his face reflected in the cold diamond-coated metal. His bloodshot-red eyes were even more striking in contrast with his pale skin. His blond hair was completely messy, barely kept in check by the headband that Ren gifted him. Subconsciously, he slid his other hand into his hoodie's front pocket. Ren's glasses were still safe inside, and so was his journal. It got soaked after their escape into the river, so he could only hope it'd still be usable after it dries out. At least his dried out clothes were no longer weighing him down.
"Five..."
At this point, Martyn wasn't even sure whether Cleo could hear him. She was probably far ahead of him, setting up some kind of trap, or trying to hide. He could feel on his skin all the leaves and branches that brushed against her as she ran. If nothing else helped, that could technically help him find her - by trying to 'feel' her surroundings through himself. That would probably take a very long time, but when it came to hunting, he was patient. Until pushed to the brink, at least.
"Four..."
Cleo could hear him all this time. They ran up the hill, towards the still smoking crater that remained after their trap went off. As they glanced down at their wristband, their suspicions were all but confirmed. First, Grian and Scar's death messages, then Etho and Joel's, then Bdubs and Impulse's. But no sign of Scott and Pearl's. But then, again - what would that change? If Martyn knew that these two were still alive, he'd probably finish them off and then proceed to kill Cleo. She could fight back, sure, but at that point, it would all be pretty much over. If he didn't kill her, she'd have to kill him. And as much as they hated Martyn for his lies, his deception, and that stupid, almost genuine smile that he gave her during their last shared night...
She didn't want it to end like this.
"Three..."
Right after approaching the crater, Cleo slipped down the side of the hole and approached Pearl. At that point, Bdubs and Impulse's bodies were already crumbling into dust. The zombie grabbed her friend by the shoulder, trying to avoid any burns and wounds, and shook her gently.
"Pearl... Pearl! C'mon, please, you gotta be there..."
"Ugh... Cleo...?" The woman grunted in pain. She opened one eye, the other visibly injured by the debris from the explosion. Her stare was exhausted and barely present, but she was conscious. "Where's Scott? And Martyn...?"
"Scott is here... And Martyn will be here too. He will probably kill you, and then me."
"Over my dead body," Pearl forced a snarky smirk, as if she didn't even consider the possibility of dying. She tried to get up from the ground, but her injuries proved too severe to move, at least now.
"I'm sorry, Pearl... I should've never trusted him. I feel so stupid..." Cleo groaned and hid her face in her hand. "I guess that's the message of this game, never trust a Martyn..."
"It is..." Pearl chuckled and put her head against Cleo's shoulder. "It's fine, really... You stuck with us for long enough. I still had fun with you. I just wish it didn't end like... This."
"So do I."
"Two..."
"What was that?" Pearl asked, her head perking up despite the pain she was still in. Cleo chuckled.
"Nothing important. Don't worry."
Both of them remained still, unmoving, just bracing themselves for what was to come. Only once Cleo heard Scott moving and trying to get closer to them, she carefully brought him into the hole with them. He didn't ask for any explanation, as if he already knew what happened. His injuries were not as severe as Pearl's, but he was also in a world of pain. Both of the soulmates slumped against Cleo, too pained to move. The zombie hid them in her arms, as if to shield them from the monster that was out to get them all. At least she made a decision.
She wouldn't go down without a fight.
"One."
Martyn appeared over the crater, looking down at them with gluttonous bloodlust in his head. The effects of being on a red life clearly got into his head, and he wasn't fighting against them in any capacity. He fidgeted with his sword, pondering what to do next. In his eyes, it was a matter of how to kill them, and not if he should.
"I can still give you a chance, Cleo. If you give me a good show." He grinned and raised his weapon, the noon sun reflecting in the blade.
"Oh I'll give you a show, alright."
The zombie growled. She got up from the ground and grabbed her own axe, mentally preparing herself for a round two. Last time around, Martyn was begging her for help and support. This time however, not only the reason was going to be different, but also the outcome. She climbed up the side of the crater, exiting it several feet away from Martyn. The man chuckled, playfully moving his sword from one hand to the other.
"I already beat you once... No, wait, twice! I almost forgot about Fairy Fort," he giggled. "Don't think I'm gonna go easy on you this time."
"That's fine. Neither will I."
In an instant, a sharp pain rocked Martyn's body, starting from his thigh. The strike was so sudden that he almost lost his balance and fell to the ground. He tightened the grip on his weapon, ready for a counterattack- But there was no attack to counter. Cleo was still standing there, several feet away. With her own axe buried deep into her own thigh. In an instant, Martyn's face went pale and his eyes opened wide. He never even thought of that . Or rather - yes, he thought of that, but he didn't expect Cleo to have the guts to do it.
"See? This is what you wanted?" Cleo groaned through her gritted teeth, then pulled the axe out of the wound. Another wave of pain shook them both, making Martyn drop to his knees. A streak of dark, rotting blood streamed down his leg and onto the grass. "This is what you asked for!"
"You..."
"I trusted you! I gave you a chance, even though I knew how this ends with you!" The zombie delivered another hit, this time to her side. The blond player gasped for air, as another wound opened on his body. "And you killed my friends, and then tried to kill me!"
"Of course I did! This is a death game, Cleo, and we're all trapped! Why is it so strange that I'm playing by the rules?!" Martyn growled in pain, falling on his side and clutching on his blood-soaked hoodie. "I'm just trying to survive like everyone else, but I always end up as the bad guy! First with Ren, then with Mumbo, and now with you! And now-" He winced from pain as yet again, Cleo pulled the weapon out of another wound. He could see her putting the blade up to her throat. He knew what was coming. He wished he didn't. "I'm not the only one who lied, right? When you said that Ren liked me... You also lied, didn't you?"
He wasn't even sure why Ren crossed his mind at that moment. The guy seemed to always lurk in the back of his head, whether he liked it, or not. Maybe the idea of someone actually liking him, a literal monster, gave him hope. Hope that he can still be good. That his life didn't have to be a never ending cycle of harm, isolation and death. That he still had a good bone in his body that he didn't break himself.
Cleo looked down at him, her expression almost pitiful. She wished she could empathise with him... Maybe in another life. But in this one, it was already too late.
"I wish I did. For his sake, not yours."
Martyn opened his mouth to answer - only for blood to come spewing out. Cleo cut through her own throat, and his too through their soulbond. Both of them fell to the ground, convulsing, each other's pained expressions being the last thing they'd see. Just like the last time around, when they fought for mutual salvation.
Only for their salvation to be bringing end to one another, by bleeding out together.
Notes:
With like half of the chapters for this story, I'm like "Okay, this is the edgy one, this is the one where you guys are gonna hate me for being too edgy", so maybe this is the one? xd
Also, that concludes the Double Life portion of this fic! Since Ren isn't present in Limited life and Secret life (this time) I'll try to make these two season into shorter segments - I'm thinking of 6 chapters each, instead of 10. This might mean that the chapters will end up longer, but we'll see.
I'm really sorry that this fic is taking so long to finish, after this chapter, it'll officially be my longest fic to date, going beyong even Canary's thrill, the first to kill. I hope you guys are still enjoying it though ^^
Chapter 31: The last single grain of sand
Summary:
The newest game begins, and Martyn spends his precious time trying to find someone who doesn't despise him.
Chapter Text
"Welcome to Limited Life!"
From the moment Martyn first woke up on the new server, the strong smell of saline hit his nose, almost knocking him out cold again. Despite his injuries seeming far away, left in another world that could probably be gone already, he still experienced phantom pain in his thigh and side. His throat still felt tight and the aftertaste of blood remained in his mouth. Right after waking up on a cold, stone plateau, his eyes met with Cleo's, who still seemed furious about what transpired between them in their previous light. He even pinched himself, but seeing no reaction from her made Martyn sigh with relief. Looks like they were no longer stuck together, for their own benefit.
Right after Grian explained the newest set of rules, Martyn turned away from everyone and headed towards the eastern side of the server. He had a nagging feeling in the back of his head that something was missing, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. The rules seemed even more dreadful than before, and his time ticking down on his wristband was a constant reminder that he should never stop moving. But he would be fine, right? He'd make a simple base, make some weapons for himself and Ren and then they'd-
"Ren?" The player's name slipped his mouth almost unconsciously, as he suddenly stopped in his tracks. The lack of the only man who still tolerated him only then hit him. Usually, by this time, he expected Ren to already follow him like a lovesick puppy... But not this time, apparently. Martyn looked down at his wristband and searched through the player list.
Alas, Ren's name was nowhere to be found.
"What the hell...?" He whispered and immediately opened the chat.
<Inthelittlewood> Where tf is Ren
<Grian> He couldn't make it this time
<Grian> Lol
<Inthelittlewood> Wdym???
<Inthelittlewood> Grian?????
"Couldn't... Make it...?" Martyn looked up and turned back to watch the other players, as they started teaming up looking for their new places to settle. As far as he could see, Ren was gone... And it looked like he was the only person who ventured out alone. In an instant, a cold shiver went down his spine as the realization hit him.
In every previous game, he had one player he could always rely on. One person that, no matter what happened, always had his back, even when he clearly didn't deserve it.
And now, that person was gone without a trace.
One last time, Martyn looked back at the chat. Grian hasn't replied to him, clearly not keen on explaining the situation. Whatever he meant by 'couldn't make it', he'd probably never reveal that. Not to Martyn. The man hid his hands in his hoodie's pocket, his fingers sliding over Ren's sunglasses and the journal. After he made sure he wasn't being followed, he hid behind one of the bigger dark oak trees, then pulled out his one true companion and started writing.
Grian just said that Ren 'couldn't make it' to this new game. What the hell does that mean? Where is he? What happened? Is he okay?
Wait
Why do I even care? I've been a dick to the guy. I don't deserve to worry about him. Whenever he is, he's probably better off than he'd be without me. Maybe that's why he left. I wouldn't blame him. The problem is, now I'm all alone. And I can either team up with someone who hates me, or stay on my own and risk everyone who hates me ganging up on me. I can try and look at what teams have already formed and see if there is any that has nobody who hates me. But I risk making new enemies in the process...
I guess I'm fucked either way. Let's do it.
The first newly formed faction, that Martyn decided to try his chances with, started making their base just next to spawn. He saw from afar Bdubs and Scar building on a little stone hill, and that sight made him feel hopeful. He couldn't recall any bad interactions he had with Bdubs... Well, aside from ending him and Impulse just a life ago. But it all happened so fast, he could always hope that the guy already forgot. As for Scar, he could still remember their little heart to heart back at Monopoly mountain. It was one of very few fond memories he still had about the games. And they haven't wronged each other that much, the one time Scar killed him, it was per Martyn's request... So in his eyes, it was a net positive. Scar was probably the closest to what he could call a friend. As soon as he approached the hill, he waved at the duo.
"Ayup!" He called out. "Whatcha guys doing?"
"Well hello there, Martyn!" Scar turned to him with a big smile. "Welcome to The Rock!"
"Is that how you're calling your base? Rock?" Martyn snickered under his breath.
"Excuse me, it's The Rock!" Bdubs scoffed with a frustrated tone. "And just you wait! Once we finish, you're gonna regret making fun of us!"
"Oh, I don't doubt that, don't worry... Speaking of, are you looking for a teammate? Cuz this guy is single and ready to mingle," he admitted with a big grin, leaning against their chests.
"Oh, that'd be awesome! But you'd have to ask mom." Scar gestured with his head towards a shaft going underground.
"Mom...?"
"Scar, we do not need any more allies." Cleo's voice carried up the stairs, making Martyn's body freeze. Of course it had to be Cleo. No matter his neutral relationship with Bdubs or borderline positive one with Scar - that was not going to work, and he wasn't even going to try.
"Why not? Martyn just asked if he can join!"
"Don't-" Martyn wanted to stop the other man, but he was suddenly interrupted by Cleo.
"The audacity... Hold up."
"She wants to talk to you!" Scar smiled brightly, and at the same time Martyn's face went completely white. It would've been probably for the best if he just turned around and left as if nothing ever happened, but instead he stood in place, frozen, waiting for Cleo to come back.
As soon as the zombie player emerged from the shaft, she glanced up and down at her ex-soulmate. Her stitched-up body gained a new scar - one going across her thigh, where she stabbed herself to stop Martyn. For a second, the blond man even wondered if he had a matching one. She rolled her eyes, as if frustrated by the mere idea of them teaming up together.
"We're absolutely not teaming up. Over my dead body, Littlewood."
"That technically already happened," he nervously chuckled and crossed his neck with his finger. Cleo grunted and tightened her grip on her pickaxe.
"Even better! Not over my dead body, then. Never. And never show up again."
"Fine, fine, geez..." Martyn sighed and turned around. "Have fun with your stupid family roleplay..."
"Were you calling me 'mom' again? I told you it's not gonna stick!"
"Why not? It's working just fine!" Bdubs immediately defended himself and Scar.
If it wasn't for Cleo, I know me, Scar and Bdubs would've worked out. But I guess I can cross them off already. I guess I have to try the people who live right next to them. Maybe there are enemies yet to be made
Martyn sighed and shut his journal close. This was going to be a long morning... And he already dreaded the time he'd lose.
"Hello? Anybody here?" Martyn sat on top of an abandoned crafting table, just a few hundred feet away from The Rock. Immediately, he was approached by BigB, who carried enough wood in his hands to make a whole secure base. Seeing his opportunity to paint himself in a better light, he ran up to the man and grabbed a couple of logs to help him. "Hold up, there we go..."
"Thanks, dude." BigB sighed with relief, then approached the crafting table and dropped off the wood. "Whatcha doing here? A reconnaissance"
"You could say that, yup... You're all on your own?"
"Oh, no no! I'm with Pearl this time! You wanna join?"
Martyn shivered yet again, an uncomfortable feeling crossing his whole body. Of course. If not Cleo, then Pearl, another person he wronged. There was nothing sacred left on this server, was there?
"Martyn? You in?"
"I- Uh... I'm sure you'll do great as a duo." Martyn nervously smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. "And, uh, you can deal with her better than I probably can."
"Oh, I don't doubt that." A mischievous glint shined in BigB's eyes, as he leaned over the crafting table. "Speaking of... Did Ren leave because of you?"
"I... I don't know what you mean." Martyn grunted and turned around, not keen on confronting his fear with anyone.
"You think he didn't talk about you to me? His soulmate?"
Martyn shivered.
"He said himself that this soulbind thing is bullshit."
"Probably because yours was. I don't blame Cleo, to be honest."
Martyn growled quietly and clenched his fists, but did not turn to face BigB. He was not going to start another fight. His time was already running out. He had to use it more wisely than in petty fights.
"You have no idea what we had going on."
"Yeah, I know! And I'd rather not know."
"What's up, B?"
Martyn flinched at the sound of Pearl's voice. Before the woman approached them, he immediately walked away from the area, not keen on even turning around and looking her in the eye. As he left, he heard her voice nagging him from behind.
"Yeah, get outta here! Don't harass my teammate!"
"Idiots..." Martyn groaned, then pulled out his journal.
I didn't even know BigB hated me, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. And Pearl was a given. I've seen someone try to inhabit the Woodland mansion in the middle of the forest... I guess it could be a good place to try next.
"Anyone there...?" Martyn huffed, climbing up the stairs leading to the roof of the building. "It's not gonna be worth climbing all these stairs, is it...?"
"And where do you think you're going?" Before Martyn could even get to the top of the stairs, he spotted Joel standing on the top, watching him with a cheeky grin. The blond man rolled his eyes. He couldn't recall any particularly bad things that happened between Joel and him, but just his presence alone was enough for him to want to turn around. Especially when he noticed that the guy was, all of a sudden, wearing a tacky leather jacket and a pair of dark sunglasses. An idea crossed his mind, as he clutched on the pair of Ren's glasses in his pocket.
"Oh, it's you." He groaned. "Are you looking for more teammates? I'm getting kinda desperate, so even someone like you will do."
"Excuse me?!" Joel groaned and shoved Martyn as soon as he got closer. The player immediately grabbed him by the wrist to stop himself from falling down the stairs. "This guy is making me mad, boys!"
"What do you-" Martyn asked, before he noticed Jimmy approaching them, supporting just as ridiculous of an attire.
"Awww, nobody wants to team up with him! That's so sad, boys." He chuckled, looking up and down at Martyn.
"Why the hell are you talking like this...?"
"Cuz we're the Bad boys, duh!" Joel turned around and pointed to the backside of his jacket. The supposed name of their team was embroidered in big, white letters. Probably the most pretentious piece of clothing Martyn had ever seen. He couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the sight.
"You guys are literally so pathetic... You really have matching outfits for your little duo?"
"Who's talking about a duo?" Grian's voice rang right behind Martyn. The blond man turned around to witness the runner of the games, dressed up in just as stupid looking jacket and glasses. He couldn't help but groan in frustration. "What do you want, Martyn?"
"Nothing, nevermind."
"He wanted to team up with us!" Joel chuckled. "Sorry, dude! We're the Bad boys, not the Mentally unstable boys!"
"You're the one to talk," Jimmy teased and nudged Joel's shoulder.
"Hey!"
"Really?" Grian grinned and approached Martyn. "What, you've ran out of backs to stab?"
"No, no I have not." Martyn growled and rolled his eyes, then stepped away from the other two Bad boys. "But since you're already here, I gotta talk to you."
"What's up?"
"You know what. Where's Ren?"
A sly smirk crossed Grian's face. One that didn't seem like a good sign. Especially for someone like Grian, the runner of the games, someone who was in the position of power over pretty much everyone else here. And someone who clearly wasn't afraid to use this power against them whenever he pleased.
"Oh, Martyn... Ren left. And I don't know when he's coming back... Or rather, if he's coming back."
"You're lying."
"Look around! Do you see him anywhere?"
Martyn shivered, then gripped the glasses in his pocket tighter. There was this urge in the back of his head, to show Grian that he still had a remnant of Ren with himself... But that wouldn't change a thing, would it?
"Why did he leave...?"
Grian looked up and down at him with another stupid grin.
"I think you know that."
"Wow. Thanks for being as helpful as always."
"Good luck out there. You'll need it once you have the whole server on your back."
Martyn groaned and pushed him away, then ran down the stairs. For a while, he could hear the Bad boys laughing at him. He entered one of the abandoned rooms of the Woodland mansion and pulled out his journal.
Nevermind, they have Grian. He's probably even worse than Pearl and Cleo. Okay, definitely worse than Pearl, and maybe worse than Cleo? Doesn't matter. I didn't want to team up with them either way. They look so stupid with their little matching jackets and glasses. I guess I have one last place to check out.
"Oh look who it is!"
Martyn sighed as he heard Impulse's voice as he approached the last - as far as he knew, at least - base of a team he still had a chance with. Impulse was another difficult case - he wronged him many times before, albeit not as badly as he did with Cleo and Pearl. Still, he had the faintest traces of hope that he could turn this around to his benefit.
"Hi buddy!" Skizz, who was standing over a crafting table, waved at Martyn. The simple, friendly gesture made him feel at least a little bit more at home.
"Hi guys... Nice place you found here. Maybe you're looking for a third guy for your team...?"
"Oh, we already have a third! And a fourth!"
"Oh... Great." He muttered through gritted teeth.
"What's up?" Tango emerged from the foundations of their new base, which they started building right on the edge of the ocean. Etho lurked right behind him, but remained silent.
"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! And we're team TIES!" Skizz smiled brightly and gestured to his friends.
"Team TIE- Ooooh, got it." Martyn nodded. He could feel Impulse's piercing stare on himself, and he turned more to face Skizz to hopefully get rid of the feeling. "Maybe you want a fifth guy after all...? We could be team... Team TIMES, maybe? Cuz, y'know," he raised his hand and pointed to the clock on his wristband.
"Team TIMES? Not bad..." Etho agreed with a fond tone.
"Yeah, why not!" Tango added enthusiastically.
"Absolutely not!" Impulse immediately opposed the idea. "Guys, do you even know what this guy has done throughout all these games? Last time I died because of him, and it was unprovoked!"
"At least you went out quickly," Martyn groaned and rolled his eyes. "C'mon, it's not that big of a deal, is it...?"
"It's either me or him." Impulse looked right in Skizz's eyes, silently pleading with him. The tall, winged player looked at his friend, then at Martyn, then sighed.
"How do we know you won't backstab us at the first opportunity?"
"I- I... I..." Martyn stuttered, looking for any way to convince them. Even if it was going to be a lie. He could feel his throat tightening, his palms sweating. How did he end up in a game where each team has at least one person who absolutely despises him? He took a deep breath, then hung his head. "I guess you don't."
"That's what I thought." Impulse groaned and rolled his eyes, then left to continue building the base. Etho and Tango looked at him, then at Martyn and at each other, then followed behind their friend. It was clear as day - team TIMES was not going to happen.
Seeing how Martyn turned around ready to leave, Skizz followed after him. He opened one of his big wings and wrapped it around the blond man in an attempt to comfort him.
"Dude...?"
"It's fine, Skizz. You don't have to leave them to join me."
"Well, I wasn't going to."
"Oh."
Martyn turned away from Skizz. There was this strange feeling in his chest, almost like an ache in his heart. The realization that he was truly alone hit him with a force he didn't expect. And he had nobody to blame but himself. Knowing his situation, even if Ren was around, he would probably not want to team up with him as well... It was pointless to even try and look for any other allies. He just lost his precious time, and his eyes were stinging with tears he didn't allow to fall.
"Hey, listen... Have you tried with the other guys?"
"Yeah, I have. They all hate me."
Skizz bit his lip, then turned towards the last forming base, the most towards the west. He then put a hand on Martyn's shoulder.
"Have you tried with Scott...?"
"Scott...?" Martyn repeated, his eyes lighting up for a moment. "Wait, he isn't with you guys?"
"Nah... I'm the S in TIES, not him." Skizz grinned. "As far as I know, he's on his own now."
"Oh! Well, yeah, I guess I can try... Thanks, dude."
"No problem! Just remember..." His grip on Martyn's shoulder suddenly tightened. "Don't you even try any funny business with him. He's a nice guy. I don't know what you did last time around, but don't try any of that on him."
Martyn flinched and immediately nodded. Maybe it was for the better that Skizz wasn't around for the last game... One, it gave him hope that if he disappeared and came back, then so would Ren. And two, he'd probably be just against him teaming up with TIES as Impulse was. The blond man turned towards the islands in the middle of the ocean and sighed. If Scott was his last option... He'd have to get very good at grovelling, very quickly.
Chapter 32: Trial by coral
Summary:
TW: drowning, suicidal thoughts
Martyn finds someone who wants to team up with him. Unfortunately, the alliance has a very rocky start. Or rather, a very soaked one.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Scott was used to many things. He was used to heartbreak, to getting hurt, to making difficult decisions. He was used to uneasy alliances and having to work with people to start trusting them. He was used to losing, and winning while wishing he had lost. He was used to feeling warm blood on his skin, and the ringing in his ears after being surrounded by explosions. Above everything, he was used to death - to witnessing it and experiencing it. One thing he wasn't used to, however, was loneliness. For as long as he could remember, he surrounded himself with people, and he always grew attached to them - even if sometimes he wished he didn't. This time, however, all of his previous allies found other people to team up with. Jimmy left with Grian and Joel, Cleo joined Scar and Bdubs and Pearl was trying her luck with BigB. Most of the teams already seemed too crowded for him to try and join them - not to mention, this time, he was really keen on taking a break. As much as he craved people and being around them, he needed a bit of rest from all the pain that losing them brought him. Maybe staying on his own for once would be healthy for him. Forced to put himself first, and not always sticking out his neck for others. Maybe just a little bit of selfishness wouldn't hurt-
The moment Scott heard knocking on the wooden door he left on the edge of his little island, his whole body tensed. He had a few ideas as to who could that be, some of them better than others. Maybe Cleo wanted to check up on her friend? Pearl wanted to offer him to join her team? One of the TIES to suggest an alliance? Right away, he turned away from his chests and approached the door. He wasn't even sure why he put it there - anyone who wanted to enter the island could easily walk around them, with no walls or fences around. Still, it was nice that someone respected the little bit of privacy he put in place.
"Hi the- Oh."
Scott bit his tongue as soon as he saw Martyn, leaning over the door frame. The man almost lost his balance and fell as soon as Scott opened the door, but he barely caught himself before he tripped right on Scott. Right away, Scott took a step back. Even without this dangerous, red glint in his eyes, seeing Martyn did not exactly fill him with reassurance.
"Hi, Scott. I, uh, got you something."
Martyn reached out his hand and pressed a small, coiled shell into Scott's hand. It was about the size of Scott's palm, completely pink, with a few brown speckles. The shorter man looked down at the gift, then up at him with a surprise on his face. Out of everything he knew about Martyn, this was not what he expected from him.
"Wow... Thanks. It's really pretty." Scott pulled the shell closer to his chest. "I didn't expect you to come."
"I almost didn't... Why did you make your bridge out of lilypads? I almost drowned several times on the way here!"
The blue-haired man chuckled under his breath. Martyn didn't seem genuinely upset, rather just frustrated with the situation. Still, despite his hardships, he didn't turn back and give up on him... He was starting to get an idea as to what he was going to say. It was just a matter of time, most likely.
"Why? You can't swim?"
"I-" Martyn cleared his throat, then put his hands in his pockets. "I, um, actually, came here with a... Business proposition."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah! I was thinking... Well, you know... You don't have a team, do you? And neither do I... So, if we combine my strength, tactician genius and charisma, and your..." He looked up and down at Scott and bit his lip. "Your... Charm, and... Everything else... We would make a pretty good team, wouldn't we?"
Scott couldn't help but chuckle at the proposition. Even when desperate for a teammate, Martyn really couldn't help but let his ego shine through. He already had a few questions, and he wasn't exactly opposed to the idea of teaming up with him, despite their history together... But first, he needed to play with him a little.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay on your own? Or with your favorite guy?"
"Ren is... Uhhh, I don't know where he is." Martyn admitted, his tone suddenly sorrowful and showing the tiniest hint of vulnerability. "And Grian isn't telling me. I swear, if he did something to him, I'm gonna- Wait, you meant Ren, right?"
"I did." Scott chuckled and leaned against the doorframe. "You have an audacity, don'tcha? You harassed my friend, hurt my soulmate, not to mention all the other stuff... And now you're asking me to team up with you?"
"...yes...?"
Scott scoffed quietly. Clearly, he was not going to let all of that go easily. Martyn groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could clearly tell Scott's intentions, but as much as he hated them, he had to power through.
"You promised you'd team up with me this time around..."
"That was before you crashed out and got my friends killed."
"Okay, okay, fine! I-" Martyn sighed and hung his head. Finally, the guilt and shame became evident in his voice. At long last. "I... I messed up. I'm sorry. I made a ton of enemies, now everyone hates me, the only guy who tolerated me is left, and I..." He sat in the doorframe and leaned his back against it. "I don't know what to do. I don't wanna be alone. Even if I know I deserve it."
After a moment of silence, Scott sat down next to him. He kept on stroking the seashell in his hands, the smooth texture against his skin reminding him of the calm sea around them. There was something solemn to this place and this moment. Even if their time was running out as they sat on the grass in silence, neither of them was keen on getting up and going back to work. This was just fine for now. Maybe that's just what they needed. A bit of silent understanding, despite everything that happened just a lifetime ago. Eventually, Scott hid the shell in his pocket turned to him.
"Fine. You can stay."
"Really?" Martyn's eyes lit up in an instant.
"Yeah, really. But! I need you to do a few things for me. Just to make sure you really mean all this, and you're not gonna immediately betray me."
"Y-yeah, of course, dude! What do you need?"
"Well, first... You need to change into something better."
"Wha- What do you mean?" Martyn chuckled and looked up at him.
"You're gonna get all wet while swimming around the base, and neither of us want that. You can also try to get some coral. There's a big reef under the island, and having enough of it can help you with holding your breath for longer.." He pointed to a crown of green coral, which laid upon his head, entangled in his blue locks. "You gotta look like a proper Coral kid if you wanna stay."
"Excuse me- Coral kid?" The blond giggled at the name. However, as he saw Scott's serious expression, he quickly added "Wait, no, don't look at me like that! I like this name! It's just a bit... Silly. If we want the server to fear us, we need a more menacing name."
"Do we want them to fear us?"
"Why wouldn't we?" He just shrugged. "It won't hurt to sow a bit of terror among these guys. Just in case. They'll bother us less if they think we're a danger to them."
"I guess... You know a lot about bothering people, don't you?"
Martyn could feel the blush creeping up his cheeks. Scott knew exactly how to tease him, and it was both intriguing and annoying. He was almost toying with him, but at the same time, kept it playful and light. Just enough to keep him on his toes, but not enough to actually make him consider dropping the whole alliance. And he could only imagine that this was not going to stop anytime soon.
"I... Alright, fine. We can keep Coral kids for now. But once I come up with something better, I'll let you know. And then we're changing it."
"Fine, fine." Scott chuckled. "Okay, so as I was saying... Take off your hoodie, at least. Lemme see those guns."
Martyn chuckled nervously, but ultimately followed the command. He took off his hoodie, careful to not drop anything from his pocket, then put it on the green grass. Scott watched him vigilantly, sticking out his tongue in an exaggerated focused expression. His friend wasn't as muscular as he expected - he was more on the leaner side, with soft muscle chiseled under his skin. His exposed arms were covered in numerous scars of different origins - many of them self inflicted, most likely. There was one thing that worried him since the moment he noticed it, however. A few of his veins, which were visible through his skin, looked unnaturally dark, almost black. Almost like black string, woven under his skin. He reached out his finger and carefully traced along one of the veins.
"What's that?- Sorry, sorry!"
Martyn immediately flinched back with a pained hiss. He didn't expect it to hurt that much, especially from just a bit of soft touch. He shook his head, then turned away, crossing his arms on his chest.
"It's... Nothing. Nevermind. What do you want me to do now?"
Scott pondered the situation for a moment, trying to look for words of comfort. Whatever happened, it clearly bothered Martyn... But he didn't seem like the type of person who openly talks about what's bothering him. It'd definitely be better to just leave him be for now. Or at least easier, if not better.
"Well... I made a little enclosure on one of the smaller islands. Can you get the eggs there? I hope they'll have the time to hatch before we all die here..."
"Oh... Yeah, sure."
Scott pointed to said enclosure, then approached one of his chests. Immediately, Martyn shivered at the sight. The island was a few dozen feet away from the main island... But to get there, he'd have to swim. And the ocean surrounding them already looked deep, cold and uninviting as it was. He approached the edge of the island, his whole body tensing at the small waves washed over his feet. The current wasn't strong, that was a big help... Still, he barely made it here with a preexisting bridge. Without it, it felt like an impossible task.
"Here." Scott approached him and put a handful of eggs into his hand. "I know swimming with only one hand isn't exactly comfortable, but it's close enough, right?"
"Yeah... Yeah, yeah, it is... Wait, but do we really need all this?" He asked in a nervous tone. "They probably won't even hatch before we run out of time, will they? It's just a waste of time..."
"Yeah, it probably is."
Martyn furrowed his brows.
"Then why do you-"
Suddenly, Martyn felt as Scott pushed him straight into the ocean. He dropped the eggs in an attempt to catch himself, but still landed face first in the water, his mouth filling with saline. He started coughing and flailing, struggling to keep himself afloat.
"Scott! You absolute idiot!" He yelled. The blue-haired man chuckled and crouched on the edge of the island. "Help me!"
"Oh, you'll be fine... I asked you if you can't swim, and you didn't say anything, did you?"
"I hate you!"
Scott sighed and rolled his eyes, then reached out his hand to Martyn. In his eyes it was all fine, he was just a few feet off the shore, he was going to be okay... At least until Martyn caught his hand and pulled him into the water with him. Scott tried to get him out, but the blond man was clearly too panicked to work with him.
"Calm down! You're gonna be okay!"
"You tried to drown me!"
"I didn't! I didn't know you were this bad at this! Just calm down, I'm gonna pull you out!"
"I'll never trust you after this!"
Instead of accepting Scott's help, Martyn grabbed him and pulled him down into the water to push himself closer towards the shore. In his frantic flailing, he didn't even feel as he kicked submerged Scott on the head, cracking his coral crown and knocking him unconcious. Panting from stress and strain, he pulled himself on the shore and fell on the soft sand. His chest raised and fell quickly as he tried to catch his breath. He was absolutely drenched, exhausted and felt betrayed. He didn't die, sure, but he could've... And it felt awful. A thought crossed his mind, still hazed from the shock.
Is this how Ren felt, when he knew that Martyn was going to finish him off back at Black Heart Altar?
"Scott?" Immediately, Martyn pulled himself up and looked down into the deep blue abyss of the water. As if on command, he heard a notification go off on his wristband.
Smajor1995 drowned while trying to escape Inthelittlewood.
<Zombiecleo> WHAT
<Smallishbeans> LMAOOOOO Martyns new victim
<Pearlescentmoon> Hang in there Scott
<ImpulseSV> Want us to get him off your ass?
Martyn sat down on the shore, his whole body shaking - both from the cold, but also from fear. It was a mistake, wasn't it? But it didn't change the fact that now, Scott was definitely going to kick him out... Over a mistake. Because he panicked. Because he lied. No matter how much he tried, he ruined everything he did, everyone he tried to connect with. He pulled his knees to his chest and hid his face in his hands. This was definitely how Ren felt. But he was foolish enough to keep trying and trying with Martyn... Until he had enough and left. And Scott was going to do the same, wasn't it? And without Scott, there was nowhere left for him to go. He just wanted to have fun, to test him... And he ruined it, again. He could probably already pack his things and get ready to leave. He looked over his hands, into the dark embrace of the water. Maybe he should get back in there... To be even with Scott, after what happened.
The moment Scott respawned, he got up from his bed, still coughing and struggling to catch his breath. Immediately, he noticed Martyn sitting on the shore, curled up and shaking. He was completely soaked and shaken. Slowly and carefully, he approached the blond man. Everything in him screamed to not get close, to just leave and not have anything to do with him anymore...
"Martyn...?"
Silence.
"I'm sorry. It was an awful thing for me to do. I could've seriously hurt you. Just because I didn't believe you can't swim... Maybe I can teach you?"
"I'm not going back into water." Martyn murmured, not even turning to face him. "I should go."
"Why?"
"Why...? I- I killed you... You don't hate you."
"I... I kinda earned it. Let's say now we're even, after the previous games. You killed me, then I killed you, then you almost killed me, and now..." He took a step forward. Martyn chuckled bitterly.
"You really want to try...?"
"Yes."
"You're an idiot."
"I'm aware."
Slowly and carefully, Scott approached him and sat down on the soft, golden sand. Without a word, Martyn leaned a bit closer to him, his head resting upon Scott's shoulder. He sighed as the blue-haired man stroked his wet hair.
"We're a mess..."
"Yeah, we kind of are. But... I want this to work."
"Why?"
Scott just shrugged. Maybe it was selfish, trying to do anything to make this alliance work. Maybe he really believed that they could survive together... Although he was fully prepared for this alliance to fall apart within a few hours. But at that moment, it didn't matter. Seeing Martyn, terrified, drenched and lonely, he didn't see the same deranged, cocky bastard he witnessed in the previous games. Ren, Mumbo and Cleo failed to fix him... But he was willing to put in the work to change it. To finally fix him. Even if that would be the death of him.
Notes:
Mean gills...... I love Mean gills..... Call me a fossil fuel company cuz I'm about to make these fish so toxic
Chapter 33: INTERMISSION: The withering dog
Summary:
Grian can feel there's something wrong with his games. He can identify the source, but solving the problem is a whole new issue.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Since the beginning of Limited Life, Grian has been acting more strangely than before. More agitated, more anxious. He managed to mask this state well enough when it came to teasing Martyn, but as soon as he left, the nagging feeling returned. The unpleasant and, unfortunately, familiar feeling of something squirming under his skin. Like there was something trying to escape the confined that Grian set for it. There was only one idea he had as to what that was, but he really wished he was wrong. That his human-like senses were just mistaken, and it was just a cold or something. Still, as much as he tried to keep it under wraps, by noon, Jimmy and Joel noticed that something was wrong with him.
"Everything alright, man?" The canary asked, putting his hand on Grian's back in a reassuring gesture. He recoiled, but ultimately recollected himself.
"Yeah... Yeah, it's all good. I'm just... Not feeling all that well."
"I can tell... You're pale as diorite." Joel nodded and sat on top of a chest, looking straight at his friend. He put his finger under Grian's chin and lifted it up. "Don't you wanna lie down?"
"I wish... But that would be a big waste of time." Grian chuckled bitterly and pointed to his wristband. Jimmy and Joel looked at each other, then Jimmy approached Grian and picked him up with not much effort. "H-hey! What are you doing?!"
"If you rest now, you'll avoid dying like an idiot later." Jimmy tried holding Grian as he walked forward, but the upset, squirming bird made the task very difficult. He huffed, barely avoiding being punched. "Look, how about this llama we borrowed from that wandering trader? We'll put you there, so you can join us as we go murder people!"
Grian at first stiffened at the suggestion, but then let out an amused chuckle.
"You're idiots."
"We're not idiots, we're Bad boys!" Joel jokingly teased, flexing his not very impressive biceps. "We'll wake you up in a while, okay?"
"You..." Grian sighed and rolled his eyes. As much as it still sounded like a huge waste of time and effort, he couldn't deny the temptation of relaxing for a while as his teammates took care of him. Finally, he wasn't the one who had to pull everyone's weight by himself. Joel and Jimmy may not have been the most competent guys around, but they knew what they were doing at least the majority of time. "Okay, okay, fine. But wake me up as soon as something important happens, right? Can't let you guys have all this fun without me," he added in a playful manner.
"We wouldn't dare. Now rest, you idiot."
As soon as Jimmy put Grian down on the llama leashed to a nearby wall, the Watcher sighed and sunk his fingers and his face into the animal's soft fur. Immediately, his wings relaxed and unfolded along the llama's sides, giving Grian this nice feeling of getting to stretch them in a comfortable manner. The strange, pestering feeling wasn't completely gone yet, but hugging the animal certainly helped a lot. Jimmy and Joel continued saying something over his head, but their voices came to him muffled and unable to decipher. Not that he wanted to. He just closed his eyes, ready to take a short, invigorating nap-
"Uranus is slipping from your grasp. You don't think of him as a danger. He might very well be."
Grian sighed and pulled his hand over his face. Of course, he couldn't just enjoy a short break in peace.
"I don't care. You guys started this, you guys deal with him."
"Our control over this domain only goes so far, Administrator."
"Of course, of course... I always have to do everything myself, don't I ?"
The Watcher sighed and shook his head, then covered his face with his lesser wings. Immediately, purple sparks flashed around his colorful wings, as if signifying his connection to the ones watching the whole game play out. Now, he just had to figure out how to calm down the storm that was brewing behind the scenes...
As long as he had the strength and energy, Ren continued fighting. He struggled against his chains, attempted to yell out into the void (despite his voice being continually pulled and twisted into lines of code, which was getting more and more painful), tried to shake off the metal plating covering his eyes - anything to free himself from this living nightmare. It didn't take him long to lose track of time. He could be there for years, or maybe just several minutes. At least his body didn't yearn for nourishment. Not yet.
As soon as someone new's presence became apparent in the void, Ren immediately stiffened and turned his head. There was only one person who he expected, but couldn't make up his mind whether he wanted to see him or not.
<Rendog> Grian
"Yep, it's me. Can you please stop fighting? I can feel it from all the way over on the server."
<Rendog> I won't unless you free me from this damned place
"Sorry, dude. It's not just for my sake. You really need to cool down your head, or you're gonna hurt yourself or others. And I need to figure out how to fix this mess you caused. So, you're gonna be a good boy and tell me a few things?"
<Rendog> But you're not gonna free me in return, are you
"Nnnnah, sorry."
<Rendog> Can you at least take that thing off my face?
Due to their circumstances, Grian obviously couldn't hear Ren's voice. Still, he could feel his emotions, and they tasted incredible . The sweet despair, the savory loneliness, the sour, refreshing anger... An incredible meal for any Watcher. But Grian wasn't just any Watcher. He was Ren's friend - or at least he believed he was one. So, as much as he wanted to deny him this request and continue feeding on his delicious misery, the idea of doing this directly to his friend made the whole experience more bitter than it needed to be. Finally, Grian sighed and snapped his fingers.
"Fine."
Ren gasped as he felt the cold metal disappear from his face. He sighed with relief and leaned his head back. A wave of relief coursed through his body and for that short moment, he wished the time would just stop, so that he would bask in this short comfort. Even if this comfort was literally the bare minimum of no longer being blinded by a heavy metal shackle. He then turned to Grian, his vision still a bit blurry from the pressure put on his eyes.
<Rendog> How's Martyn
<Rendog> What game are you at already
<Rendog> Is Limited Life finished? Who won
"Calm down, calm down..." Grian sighed. He took a comfortable, sitting position on the nothingness of the void. He hovered a bit above Ren, internally happy that he could at least once tower over his taller friend. "We're not done yet. We barely began Limited Life, so we don't have a winner yet. Why does it matter...?"
Ren went silent and turned away from Grian. The parrot immediately picked up on that, and smiled mischievously.
"In these previous loops of yours... Did different people win, compared to this one?"
<Rendog> Sometimes
"Oh really? That's curious... Who else won 3rd Life, aside from me?"
<Rendog> Scar, a couple of times. I'm pretty sure that's it.
"How about Limited...? You wanna spoil who's gonna win?"
Ren just shrugged. He didn't even try to keep eye contact anymore.
<Rendog> Hard to tell
<Rendog> Usually Impulse won this one. Sometimes Scott, sometimes BigB, sometimes Etho. I think even Jimmy won once? That loop was weird though
"Did Martyn ever win any of the games?"
<Rendog> He was too busy with other things
"Oh, like you?"
Grian couldn't help but snicker at the lack of answer from Ren. He was clearly right. Sure, sometimes he was weird around other people, but Ren and Martyn's obsession with each other was clearly on another level. He then tilted his head and reached out his hand, guiding Ren to look back at him.
"And what about you? Did you win?"
Ren chuckled soundlessly, a cocky smirk appearing on his face.
<Rendog> Why do you think we're here, dude
<Rendog> Why do you think your friends call me Uranus
<Rendog> Tell them to stop, this nickname is no longer funny
"When did you win, exactly...?"
<Rendog> I ain't tellin’ ya dude
<Rendog> You know what happens if I do
"Fine, fine... I guess I'll have to keep you here for a bit longer, since you don't wanna help..."
Grian nonchalantly turned around, posing as if he was ready to leave Ren alone. He cheekily smiled as he heard the chains shaking and clunking behind him. Maybe he wasn't done with Ren just yet.
<Rendog> Don't you dare
<Rendog> I thought we were friends
"We are! I'm just saving you from yourself. You're welcome."
Ren continued to struggle, but made no effort in loosening his bindings, or getting closer to Grian. He was truly stuck, and completely at Grian's mercy. And it felt sickening. Not to mention, the more he flailed and fought, the more the painful feeling on his back started creeping in. If briefly finding himself in the void repeatedly tens or hundreds of times already caused him void rot, spending too much time in his place was going to absolutely destroy him. Still, if there was a chance of turning this situation around and restarting the loop again, he was willing to take it.
<Rendog> WAIT
<Rendog> You didn't answer me the first time around
<Rendog> How is Martyn doing?
Grian turned around, a playful glint in his eyes.
"Well, the last time I saw him, he ran around the server like a lost puppy, desperately looking for people to team up with him. Quite pathetic, to be honest."
<Rendog> Oh no
The dog shivered, the itching sensation on his back getting worse and worse. Usually, he was always around, always there for Martyn to have a safe space away from all the chaos and fighting... But not this time. This time, his lover was completely alone and helpless. Even more so than usual, the overwhelming feeling of having let Martyn down ran through Ren, making his whole body feel heavy with guilt.
<Rendog> You didn't take him in, did you, Bad boy?
"I didn't. I mean, we are Bad boys, but he's on a whole another level. I don't think anyone teamed up with him, to be honest."
<Rendog> All this time, me and Scott have been there for him as his Mean gills
<Rendog> It's unfair
<Rendog> You need to bring me back
<Rendog> I NEED to be there for him
"You've been there for him plenty of times, haven't you? I don't think it helped..."
Ren shivered, but couldn't help but silently agree with Grian. He was right. As much as he wanted to make things right, he made them worse each and every time he tried to save himself and Martyn. At some point, he gave up on saving himself and focused on Martyn... But that also didn't help. He hurt him so many times, over and over and over again... He hung his head low, his tail hanging and tail dropped from shame. There was nothing he could say to save himself. He could only hope that Grian was right, and that taking time apart would make Martyn feel better.
"C'mon, cheer up... I'll free you eventually, I think. Once I fix the mess you made. Okay?"
No response. Maybe it was for the better. Grian sighed, then rolled his eyes.
"Don't be like this... I just need to make sure you don't break my rules. For your sake, and for everyone else's."
<Rendog> I hope your snail eats you alive.
Grian chuckled.
"Sure, whatever that means."
With another snap of his fingers, the strong metal clasp closed over Ren's eyes, rendering him sightless again. Uranus didn't even flinch this time, however. He probably saw this coming, and didn't even feel the need to fight it. He was too busy worrying about other things. Grian watched him for just a moment later, then turned around. At least the squirming feeling disappeared.
As soon as Grian woke up, he immediately felt that he was in someone's strong grasp, bouncing at their quick footsteps through a forest. He yawned and stretched his lesser wings, then opened his eyes. The moment he saw that Martyn was the one carrying him through the forest, he screamed and flung his wings open, knocking himself out of the man's hold.
"Ouch! Watch it!" Martyn lost his grab on Grian and they both tumbled to the ground. "The hell are you doing? You were supposed to be asleep!"
"What am I doing? What are you doing?! Where are Joel and Jimmy?" Grian huffed, picking himself up from the ground and brushing off the grass that stuck to his jacket.
"Grian! We're coming!" Both of them heard Jimmy's voice carrying between the trees. Grian sighed with relief, then turned to Martyn with an annoyed expression.
Surprisingly, Martyn looked different than how he remembered him. No longer in his shorts and hoodie - instead, wearing a white shirt, long jeans and combat boots, probably perfect for breaking bones. A long sash was wrapped around his waist, marked with the symbol of a kingdom long fallen. And his body was overgrown with coral, lots of colorful coral. And that mischievous glint in his eyes...
"Wait... You did team up with Scott." He whispered, and then added even more quietly "This is what he meant by Mean Gills...?"
"Hell yeah I did! And we're gonna- Wait, Mean Gills? I like that! Thanks, G." Martyn grinned, then pulled himself up from the ground and dashed between the trees, quickly disappearing from Grian's sight.
"There you are!" Joel panted as he caught up to Grian. "Sorry dude, that stupid jerk stole you and tried to get you to their stupid base!"
"Yeah... Yeah, it's fine." Grian muttered, clearly too distracted to listen to Joel.
The fact that Ren gave him so much information was useful, sure... Now, there was another problem. Finding a good use for it. That being, a way to stop this madness once and for all.
Notes:
Why is writing Intermissions so fun? I just like characters having conversations man
Chapter 34: The longest day of their lives
Summary:
The fast pace of the game definitely isn't helping Martyn's volatile state of mind. In the end, there is only one thing he can do in an attempt to save himself.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
As afternoon came upon the server, the tensions between all the players continued to rise. Over half of the server was on their yellow lives - some due to their own poor time management, some due to murders interfering with their time management. Either way, everyone was on their toes and ready to kick into fight or flight at any moment. Especially with the knowledge that this time, it took more than three deaths to release them from this game. More and more often, loud explosions and screaming could be heard from different parts of the server.
Maybe aside from one.
Scott confined himself to Coral isles, not keen on joining the carnage happening on the mainland. As pointless as it might've looked, building a nice, cosy base for him and Martyn kept his mind occupied, and allowed him to not panic over how quickly his time was ticking down. Well, it seemed to tick down quickly whenever he took the time to actually look down and see how much he had left. Whenever he didn't, however, the day felt painfully long. Even despite staying in arguably the safest place on the server, Scott couldn't avoid dying a few times. Each time he woke back up on his bed and looked down at how much time he lost, he felt a shiver go down his spine. In the previous games, it was much simpler - from green, to yellow, to red, to permanently dying. This time it wasn't as easy, and he had to be ready to experience so much more death, pain and carnage than ever before. Thus, staying in his base was a safer alternative. Which didn't mean less dreadful.
Inthelittlewood was slain by Smallishbeans.
Scott sighed as he saw the notification on his wristband. A second later, Martyn respawned on his bed, his chest raising and falling quickly from the rage he was still feeling. His own wristband just began turning from green to yellow, signifying that he fell under the sixteen hours threshold.
"That bastard... I'll murder him right now!" He growled and pulled himself up from the bed. He grunted as he turned to Scott, who was idly planting flowers near the entrance to their base. "How are you still on green?"
"Easy. I don't charge head first into danger and then get murdered by all the enemies I've made," Scott stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Or at least Martyn felt like he did, cuz he scoffed in a mocking tone.
"Yeah, and all you do is sit here and water the flowers? How does that help? You're not doing anything useful."
"At least I'm not dying. Besides, you don't want our base to look nice?"
Martyn eyed Scott with a frustrated expression. Why did it feel like these games always came so easy to him? The same guy who won one of the games, almost always hung around until the end, never had issues making allies... Now he was busy planting flowers and building them a nice base. While Martyn, who never won before and never had allies who wanted to stay with him, had to go out there and fight. Why did Scott have it easy? Why didn't he have to try like Martyn did? Was he just simply better than Martyn? The blond man grunted again and grabbed his axe, then got up from his bed and headed towards the entrance.
"I couldn't care less."
And before he left, he made sure to trample all the flowers Scott just finished planting.
Scott looked after him and sighed. As a person who always relied on his allies, it was a struggle to make this one work. It was as if Martyn made it his goal to be as insufferable as possible. And Scott had to just take it, because as far as he saw it, it was still better than staying on his own. Especially as a green in a world of more and more yellows. He was already expecting Martyn to eventually kill him to bring him back to yellow, and was ready to accept that if that happened. Which didn't mean he wouldn't go down without a fight.
Martyn also wasn't ready to go down without a fight. In his case, however, it meant charging headfirst into a fight, getting killed, then returning for some more beating. It didn't mean that he didn't get some successful kills - but with how many of his own deaths it cost him, it came down almost to a net zero. And the moment Joel cut him down with his axe, he was ready to settle scores with him. With his own axe to Joel's skull.
Not being able to swim was especially annoying to him, as every time he died, he had to cross the flimsy lilypad bridge that led to the mainland. It took a lot of time and focus to not fall into water, and whenever he did, scrambling back up left him exhausted and even more angry than before. All this pent up frustration and rage was building up inside of him, making him see red even as a yellow. As far as he knew, however, only Scott knew about his inability to swim. And if that information somehow swam to the surface, he probably wouldn't be able to do the same.
"Joeeeel! Come here, you jerk!" Martyn yelled as soon as he jumped down the bridge. Now, with stable ground under his feet, he could finally begin to truly show off his strength and capability in battle. Joel was his next target, sure, but he wouldn't mind getting some more kills along the way. He just turned yellow, so a chance to briefly go back to green was refreshing.
As Martyn walked through the forest towards Bad Boys' base, he tried doing anything he could to stop himself from overthinking. In such a fast paced game, he hated silence - it immediately made his mind go into a dark place, full of overthinking and potentially even regretting his decisions. A bitter taste came up in his mouth as he remembered trampling Scott's flowers. Sure, his teammate pissed him off, but that was really petty, even for his standards. It's not like Scott was wrong - by staying at the base, he died a lot less than Martyn did, and that was one of the only reasons he was still on green. He was staying hidden and out of sight, so he wasn't a popular target. Even if that was the exact opposite of Martyn's approach, he couldn't deny that it was actually quite smart. What he hated about it is that he couldn't do it - if he decided to dillydally at their base, he would start overthinking things. And overthinking things was a bad idea in his mental state. He already hid his journal deep within his chest, away from prying eyes. He had no time to deal with his feelings while each second literally brought him back to death. If he wanted to survive, he had to keep all of these emotions inside and use them to fuel his anger. Would that also destroy him in the process? Possibly. But as long as he could go out there and blow off some steam on his victims, he was happy.
"Where are you...?" He whispered quietly, not expecting an answer. That was the only thought he allowed himself to return to, and to still rely on. Ren couldn't just have disappeared, right? True, it did happen with some other players in the past... But not with Ren. He was always there, even when Martyn didn't want him to be. As much as Martyn tried pushing him away, Ren stuck to him like a lovesick puppy. And even if he was tempted to kick the puppy away, the idea of him actually leaving was too painful to actually imagine.
But now, it was his reality. Ren got fed up with him and left. Martyn crossed his arms on his chest, in a gesture that resembled hugging a bit too closely. Deep down, he knew even that was way more comfort than he deserved, but without it, he would've broken down long ago.
Why couldn't the day just end already? It felt as if years passed, even if the sun barely crossed zenith.
"Ren... You didn't leave, did you...?"
He felt awful asking that. Not because he knew the answer, but because even the comfort of knowing felt undeserved by him. He inhaled sharply and straightened his back, trying to ignore a wave of pain that shot through his spine. With each time he died, he saw as the void-like darkness on his body continued to spread, crawling like some sort of parasite. He managed to hide it from Scott by changing from a t-shirt into a long-sleeved shirt, but he could only keep it hidden for so long...
The moment a sound of quick footsteps reached Martyn's ears, he immediately turned around and gripped his axe tighter. His mind was already cooking up a storm, and the tension in his body made him feel like he was going to explode. He was almost beyond comprehending where he even was, how he ended up there and what he was doing. The hum of blood in his ears rendered him almost deaf, but the footsteps rang loudly in his head. As he noticed someone's silhouette approaching him, he could only let out a soft, terrified whisper.
"Ren...?"
In an instant, Joel jumped from between the trees. If it wasn't for Martyn's fast reflexes, he would've ended up sliced in half. He jumped away, his whole body screaming from pain and overexertion. It wasn't the time to die yet, though. He just got back up, and he was not going down again easily.
"There you are..." He growled and flung his weapon right back at Joel. The metal crashed against metal with a loud clang. "I thought you'd run away like a coward, not come back so that I can finish you off!"
"Yeah! Said the guy who just died!"
"Well, it's a good thing you're next!"
At this point, Martyn didn't even care about how Joel's weapon slashed through his skin and muscle tissue. He wasn't going to back down until he ripped the time off his dead body. So, as soon as his axe plunged straight into the bad boy's neck and he fell to the ground with a loud scream, Martyn sighed with relief.
Smallishbeans was slain by Inthelittlewood.
"That's what you get." Martyn muttered. He spat on the ground, right where Joel's body fell before it turned into dust. Still, the ringing sound of footsteps couldn't slip his mind.
As if it never stopped...
"Who's here?"
Martyn gripped his axe and looked around, not sure where to look for danger. He expected to see another silhouette, skittering through the forest around him... But there was nothing. So his confused and overwhelmed mind, yet again, resulted to the default option. Probably the option he craved to be the truth the most.
"Ren... Ren, you're here, right? I'm so-"
Before he could finish however, a large, heavy metal object fell straight from the sky, crushing him. Immediately upon impact, it exploded, leaving a gaping crater right where Martyn was standing just a second ago.
Inthelittlewood blew up.
"Oh, you're back..."
"STUPID SKYNET! STUPID TIES, STUPID TNT MINECRAFT, STUPID GAME!"
Immediately upon waking up, Martyn grabbed his pillow and tossed it across the room. It missed Scott, but he took a quiet sigh of relief that it wasn't his axe that he immediately threw. Scott closed the chest he was just sorting through and silently watched as his ally gave him a clear display of how badly he was at dealing with his emotions. Martyn huffed in frustration and pulled on his hair, circling the room as he couldn't walk off all the negative emotions that were storming up inside of him.
"I'll kill them, all of them! And I'm gonna enjoy it! They won't know what hit them!" He let out a maniacal cackle. "These idiots will regret the day they disrespected the Captain!"
"Are you done?"
Immediately, Martyn turned towards Scott. His ally looked at him with a tired expression, clearly fed up with his stubborn cycle of killing and getting killed. Martyn's breathing was quick and shallow, but upon seeing the disappointment in Scott's eyes, his chest immediately felt tight and painful. His eyes immediately became watery, and his hands began to tremble. And the worst part was, he wasn't even sure why it happened so suddenly.
"I... I..."
"Good. You can help me replant the flowers you trampled earlier." Scott said it all in a stoic tone, as he picked up the pillow that Martyn tossed and put it on his bed. "If you didn't, maybe I would've come with you and helped you."
"You..."
Martyn's legs gave way and he collapsed on his bed. Suddenly, his head felt so loud that he wanted to rip his brain off and toss it into the ocean. His whole body felt far too heavy to move, and his insides began hurting like they never had before. His vision became blurry from the tears, so he grabbed the pillow and used it to cover his face. It also muffled the low, gutteral cry that he let out. One that left even Scott concerned.
Why did he care so much about what Scott thought?- No, he didn't. He wasn't just about what Scott said. That was the straw that broke the camel's back, sure. But all the pain and death he put himself through, all the built up anger, all the unresolved emotions... He really hoped that they wouldn't find their way out of his body, but apparently they did. And as they fled him, it felt worse than the most painful of deaths he experienced that day. He curled up on the bed and tightly hugged the pillow, unable to stop sobbing. Stop, stop, don't cry, you're the Captain, and the Captain doesn't cry, stop it, stop it, stop-
"Martyn?"
The player flinched as Scott's soft hand landed on his shoulder. He looked up at him, his eyes filled with more vulnerability than Scott had ever seen from him. The blue-haired man sighed and gently stroked his cheek.
"What happened...?"
"I... I don't know... Everything, just... It's too much..." He whispered, his voice breaking at least a few times throughout the short sentence. "And... I miss him..."
"Ren...?"
He nodded. Scott sighed and sat down on the bed next to him.
"I thought you and him were on... Not good terms...?"
"I... I don't even know... Sometimes I hate him, sometimes I... Don't. But... That doesn't matter, right? He's gone. He left, because he got fed up with me."
"Who told you that?"
"Grian..."
Scott sighed and nodded. It was hard to argue with what the runner of the games said. Even if that wasn't the truth, they had no way of proving that.
"He... He hurt you, didn't he...?"
"Yeah... Grian is a scum, I hate him so much-"
"No, no, I mean Ren. Did he hurt you...?"
"He..." Martyn went silent, not sure how to answer. He wasn't even sure whether he could answer. "He did... He made me feel like a monster... But he also made me feel loved... Sometimes both at the same time..." He chuckled bitterly. "Does that make sense?"
"No, probably not..."
Scott flinched. He could swear he heard splashing of water just around the island... Danger was coming. But right then, it didn't matter. He had a friend to comfort.
"But... Feelings rarely make sense."
"They don't... Most of the time, I wanted to scream at him to leave me alone... And now that he did, I want him back... What do I do...?"
Scott sighed, gently wiping a stray tear off Martyn's face. Seeing his puffy red eyes and cheeks wet from tears made the blue-haired player feel for him, even if his instincts screamed at him to leave him. Not this time. He clearly needed someone to be there for him.
"I think you should... Let him go."
"Let him go...?"
"At least for now. Figure out what you want, how you feel about all of this... And if you ever see him again, you can try again."
"You think he cares about me...?"
"I'd never doubt that. But you need to care about yourself as well."
Martyn sniffled and began to wipe his tears with his sleeve.
"I'm sorry I'm such a mess..."
"It's okay. But next time, repeatedly dying isn't a great coping mechanism."
"And sorry about your flowers."
"Yeah, about that-"
Suddenly, Martyn sat up on the bed. This time, the splashing and the footsteps reached him as well. Despite still being a mess from crying, his instincts kicked in. But this time, not just the combative ones. The protective ones as well.
"Someone's here... They're probably here for you. You're one of the last greens."
"Yeah, that makes sense..."
"You stay here. I'll deal with them."
"I can do it on my own, I-"
Martyn didn't listen, however. Still a bit shaky, he got up from his bed and grabbed his axe. Finally, a good use for the leftover anger in his body.
"Come here, you idiots!" He yelled as he swung the door to their house open.
Martyn didn't even register who exactly came to the island - the moment he noticed Skizz leading a group of people, he charged right at them. His weapon flew around like a deadly bird, cutting and slashing and crushing and not letting anyone breathe for even a second. He stayed close to the door, guarding it and not letting anyone get even close to Scott. This time, even the screams didn't break through the deafening hum of blood in his ears. Each cut that managed to find his way to his own body only fueled his anger, but this time in a building way.
Soon enough, the water around the island tinted dark and thick with splattered blood. The sand covering the shore became sticky, getting all over the bodies that fell over the island. Martyn didn't even count how many there were. Even if it was the whole server, it wouldn't be enough for him. As long as he could defend-
"Stop right there!"
Martyn immediately turned around and froze in fear. In his attempts to guard the entrance to their base, he must've let a few players slip and get inside. Whatever happened, now Jimmy was standing over the other edge of the island, holding Scott by the throat. The blue-haired player was beaten up and bruised, a large wound on his arm was causing him to bleed out quickly.
"Let him go!" Martyn growled and turned towards him.
"It will all be better once he's yellow, too." Jimmy smirked in a sadistic way, moving the sword that was still pierced deeply into the wound. Martyn didn't know this side of the usually pathetic guy, and if it wasn't for them being enemies at the moment, it would've gotten him intrigued. "I'm doing this for him."
"Drop him right. Now."
"Or what?"
Without thinking, Martyn lunged forward and directed another attack right at Jimmy. His axe cut right through the bad boy's wings, causing him to scream out in pain. Another hit to his throat, and yet another death message popped up on the communal chat.
"Scott!"
As Jimmy let go of Scott, the player lost his balance and fell straight into the painful, salty water. Purely by instinct, Martyn jumped right after him, in a futile attempt to save the only other person that gave him a chance.
His attempt to help Scott, however, became a messy struggle for survival for both of them. Aside from the fact that Martyn couldn't swim, the saline entered both his and Scott's wounds, making them burn with the power of a hundred suns. Scott let out a scream underwater, causing him to begin drowning right away. Martyn caught him by his wrist, but he had no way to pull out both of them. Not to mention, his own wounds made him wish he already perished during the fight.
There was only one idea he had to finish this.
"I'm sorry, Scott..."
As he whispered that, water began forcing its way into his mouth and lungs. In a last-ditch attempt to lessen Scott's pain, he swung his axe one last time. The movement felt agonizingly slow underwater, but it was what got the job done.
Smajor1995 was slain by Inthelittlewood.
And soon after, Martyn followed suit.
Inthelittlewood drowned.
And for a just moment, the whole server was completely quiet.
Scott jerked away from his bed, then sighed with relief. Finally, it was over. Contrary to what Martyn probably thought of him, he managed to fight off a few of the players, but Jimmy managed to catch him at his weakest... Betrayal from someone like Jimmy stung more than any wound he could've ever inflicted. But Scott understood it. Jimmy's loyalty in this game lied with Grian and Joel. And his lied with-
"Martyn?"
The player turned towards the other bed, which he didn't expect to be empty. The bedsheets were soaking wet, however, suggesting that someone just laid there after going for a very nasty swim. So he had to respawn there...
"Martyn? Where did you go...?"
Martyn wasn't in the house. He wasn't on the island, or any of the shores. His body didn't lay on the bottom of the ocean, at least as far as Scott could see. There was only one explanation, really. After all this fighting, opening up and saving Scott...
He just left.
Notes:
It might be the longest chapter of this fic? Or one of the longest at least, lol
But I really enjoyed making this one, despite it taking a LOT of time to write!Also, sorry for no uploads yesterday. My collaborative project, Life Series TTRPG just started and I'm extremely excited and busy with it :3
Chapter 35: The Captain's last hunt
Summary:
TW: Violence and non-descriptive gore
Martyn finally takes out his frustration on the one who - in his eyes - started it all.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Martyn wasn't even sure why exactly he left. That just seemed like the most obvious option for him. This is what he resorted to most of the time, and it worked so far, more or less. Even if that made him a coward, which he didn't want to admit. He wasn't a coward; he was just protecting others from himself. First time around, he failed to save Ren. Second time, he hurt Mumbo, Jimmy and the rest of his team, so running away seemed reasonable. Third time, he spared Pearl and Cleo from having to live with him. And now, he was granting the same mercy to Scott.
After respawning on his bed, it was instinctual for him to get up and leave. He didn't even look if Scott already respawned, and since he didn't try to follow him, that's all the better. Without thinking, he grabbed his sword and headed towards his loathed lilypad bridge, then disappeared into the woods.
By the time the whole server got covered with the dark, thick coat of night, almost everyone was down to their red life. Nobody was eliminated yet, by sheer luck, but that was going to change fast. Tensions were palpable, and whenever people of different alliances crossed one another's paths, only their strong wills kept them from jumping at each other throats. Everyone craved others' time and wasn't willing to part with theirs. This created a conflict, where everyone was willing to take, but nobody was keen on giving. In such a scenario, the only things that could give someone an edge were either their cunning, or strength. And different players opted for different options.
Martyn didn't have a clear destination, he just wanted to get as far away from everyone as he could. Letting his time run out on his own sounded like cowardice, sure, but he also wasn't willing to part with any of it. He glanced nervously at his wristband. He went above eight hours not too long ago, joining the evergrowing circle of red names on the player list. Something in him screamed to just let loose and go spread carnage through the server. That would allow him to forget, even for a moment-
But he didn't want to forget. Not anymore. If he did, he'd just repeat the same mistakes over and over. And making his mind constantly replay all of his worst moments would make him sure that he wouldn't forget about them. Or at least that's what he wanted to believe. That somehow, at some point, his brain would finally switch and allow him to stop doing... This. Stop being so volatile. Stop ruining everything and everyone he got close to.
Where did all this even come from? It's not like he wanted to be hated by everyone. At least he didn't think he did. Did Ren make him like this? No, he wasn't even around this time, so it couldn't have been him... Was that any of the other players he hurt? Mumbo, Jimmy, Cleo or Pearl? No, they came into the picture much later... Martyn groaned and pulled his hand through his longer, messy hair. Even while wearing the headband that Ren gave him, it was getting in his eyes.
No, Ren didn't hurt him. No matter what everyone said. No matter what his own mind said. He said a lot of things Martyn wanted to hate him for, but all in all, he kept on giving him more chances and it really did feel like he believed in him... Even if nobody else did. Martyn shivered, looking around as if wishing that this one last time, Ren would actually appear. Hug him and tell him that he was going to be okay. That he wasn't a monster for defending his ally, and then killing them to cut his suffering short. Not to mention, maybe if Ren was around, maybe none of this would've happened.
Was there anyone who he could blame but himself? He sighed and kicked a pebble, then mindlessly watched it bounce down the path. At this point, it didn't even matter, did it? Even if all of this wasn't his fault, everyone already hated him. So did it even matter if it was due to his actions, or some outside sources?
And if everyone hated him, he could just try and make use of that fact, right?
Grian leaped out of his bed with a frustrated groan. His sunglasses almost fell on the ground; he refused to take them even despite the lack of sun. Soon, Jimmy and Joel joined their ally.
"Stupid TIES! Why did they make a trap that was so easy to activate?!" Grian grunted and rubbed his eyes.
"It wasn't, Grian!" Jimmy yelled at him, his wings puffing up and fluttering. "All you had to do was not touch anything!"
"I couldn't just not touch anything! There were buttons on the floor, Jimmy!"
"And why did you press them?!"
"BECAUSE I'M ME!"
For just a second, Grian's dark blue eyes lit up in purple. A soft glow flashed from between his wings, bur dimmed down after just a second. Joel and Jimmy looked at their ally, and then at each other. Despite how frustrating the situation was, they couldn't help but be concerned for their friend.
"I, uh... I'll go attack the Clockers, or something." Joel suggested in an abashed tone, then took a few steps back and left his allies to themselves.
"Grian...?" Jimmy tilted his head and looked at his friend. "Can we, um, talk?"
"Not now, man. I need a moment."
"How much time do you have left?"
Grian looked down at his wristband and flinched.
"Just over four hours."
"You need some time from me...?" Jimmy suggested. His sour expression made it clear - he didn't want to share his time, but if needed, he was ready to commit to it.
"No, no no no. I just caused you to lose even more of your time. You go help Joel and get some time there. I'll stay here."
"If you say so..."
Jimmy looked back at Grian as he left, but ultimately left to join Joel. Grian fell back on his bed, his breathing slow and deep. This day was far too long for him, and for everyone involved, but he had no time to take a nap and regenerate. Not only would he waste his time, but he risked getting attacked. And despite their base being fairly safe so far, the risk was getting bigger and bigger the more people were out there, looking for blood to spill. A part of him wished they could just pause the time, let everyone have a big nap, and then resume the carnage.
"Don't lose focus, Admin. Your job is not done yet. And danger is coming."
"Wow, thanks for the warning, guys. I had no idea..." Grian sighed and rolled his eyes, then covered them with his forearm. "I just need a break... And then I can go..."
Grian's wings flinched as he heard approaching footsteps. It could very well just be Joel and Jimmy... But didn't they leave the other way? And why would they come back, either way...?
"Jim? Is that you...?"
"No."
Grian barely managed to get up and jump away, before a sword pierced through his bed right where his head just was. He struggled to catch his breath as he looked at the man who just almost killed him.
"Martyn?!"
"It's the Captain for you."
Martyn put his foot against the bed, then pulled his sword out of the hole it just pierced. He stared at Grian with a coldly furious expression. His eyes, tinted red, were tired, but full of fire at the same time.
"What are you even doing here?"
The man chuckled bitterly.
"Funny that you ask that..."
Without hesitation, Martyn lunged at Grian. The parrot stepped back and grabbed his sword, but attempting to block just one of Martyn's hits made him immediately realize that the guy clearly outstrenghed him. He could try and use his wings to run away, but going toe to toe with him seemed like a bad idea.
"Admit it. You know what happened to Ren, don't you?"
"So what if I do? You really think he wants to see you?"
"No."
Another slash was directed just below Grian's knees. The avian jumped and opened his wings to avoid getting cut. At the same time, Martyn struck him right in the face, making Grian fall back and hit the floor with a painful grunt.
"I know he hates me. And so do you, and everyone here. But you wouldn't if these games never came to be."
Grian chuckled, wiping the blood that trickled down from his nose.
"So what? You'd rather just stay in that void where they kept you?"
"Whoever that was, maybe they had a reason."
Grian barely avoided the next hit. Martyn wasn't just teasing, or even taunting him. The guy was out to get him, and if he could include some psychological damage, that made it even better for him... But then, Grian just realized something.
" 'Whoever that was'...?"
Martyn grunted in frustration. It sounded as if he was supposed to know something, and he didn't. And that was like showing weakness. And the Captain never showed any weakness.
"What? You know who that was?"
"Wait, Martyn, you don't remember the W-!"
Grian groaned in pain as his opponent pierced his sword through his arm. He got so caught up in his realization that he completely forgot about their fight. He flailed right at the Captain, scratching his face, but not doing much more damage. He pulled back, his wound bleeding profusely.
"Happy now?" He asked, his vision getting blurry from the rapid loss of blood. Martyn didn't even flinch at that. He just lowered the tip of his sword to the ground.
"No, I'm not done."
Grian tried to jump at Martyn to attack him, but the pain from the wound caused him to quickly lose his balance and fall to the ground. He took one last quick glance at his bed. It was damaged, so maybe he wouldn't respawn there... And maybe he had a chance to escape Martyn, before he did anything stupid-
Grian was slain by Inthelittlewood.
The avian gasped for air and immediately pulled himself up from the cold, rocky surface of spawn. He could hear the screams of his allies fighting the Clockers alliance, but they were all too preoccupied with each other to notice him. Despite the prominent pain in his arm, he immediately turned away from his own base and began to run. No matter where, just as far away so that Martyn would not find him again. His wings trembled with each quick step, his sunglasses eventually fell from his face and disappeared in the thick grass of the land he ran through. He just had to make sure he'd lose him, and then circle back to get back to his allies... He had about three hours left after his death, but maybe he still had a chance to turn this around...
Before a sharp whistle crossed the air, making him stop in fear. He didn't even dare to turn around. He knew what was coming, even if at that moment, he wished for blissful unawareness.
"Don't fly away, birdie! I'm not done with ya!"
"Leave me alone! What else do you want?!" Grian turned around. Martyn was close - way closer than he expected him to be. How did he even get here so fast?
"You know. You created these games to destroy us, didn't you? Well, great job!"
Grian barely avoided the next hit, stepping away at the last second. This time, the thrust seemed a bit slower than the last time around. Maybe he was getting tired as well? Maybe there was still a chance to turn this around? The avian grinned, then delivered a swift kick into the Captain's side, causing him to sway back in pain.
"You dirty little..." Martyn grunted, then slashed his sword again. Out of instinct, Grian covered himself with his wings and winced in pain as the sword cut through his feathers. At least no vital organs got damaged. Yet. "C'mon, if you want to actually fight me, do it like a man!"
Grian chuckled and opened his wings.
"You want to finish me off? Fine, let's try it!"
FInally feeling a spark of courage running through his veins, Grian attempted to attack his enemy back. His own sword slashed through Martyn's side, marking his clothes with blood, darker than it should've looked. The Captain immediately reciprocated the hit, locking both of them into a dance of blades, punches and kicks. From an outsider's perspective, it really did feel like there was no rhyme or reason to their fight. They just wanted to vent out their frustrations on each other. Martyn - that he was trapped in this series of games, where each of his own deaths left him more disturbed and broken than before. Grian - that someone who he used to see as friend was so... Different. Worse. He wanted to ask why Martyn didn't seem to recognize him talking about the Watchers earlier, but did this really matter? At that moment, all he wanted to do was get this over with and destroy him. After each hit and slash that his body received, he briefly wished his friends were around to help him and get this maniac off his back. But on the other hand, he could handle him himself, couldn't he? He grunted and as soon as they got too close, he headbutted Martyn, causing him to stumble back.
"Not so feisty anymore, huh?" He huffed with a sadistic smile. His eyes, yet again, lit up with a purple glow. "Let's just end it quickly, huh?"
"I'm not going down. Not without you."
"Fine by me."
Just a second later, Grian jumped right at his opponent, delivering another punch to his face. He didn't have to wait long for Martyn to hit him back, so he reciprocated the gesture. And so did his opponent. Their noble sword fight quickly turned into both of them punching each other, blood streaking down their faces. Their breathing was becoming more strained, both their visions blurry. Eventually, Martyn pushed him off, but both of them collapsed on the ground, unable to fight further.
"I'm... Still not done..." Martyn huffed.
"Still not?" Grian chuckled, his tone bitter and pained. "What the hell do you want from me?!"
Before Martyn could answer, however, their blood loss caused both of them to perish, one after another.
Grian was slain by Inthelittlewood.
Inthelittlewood was slain by Grian.
The moment they respawned however, Martyn didn't waste a single second. He jumped right at Grian, continuing to punch him in the face as if their fight never paused.
"What do I want?! I'm stuck here because of you! You made me like this! Everyone hates me and thinks I'm crazy, and it's all your fault!"
Grian opened his mouth to defend himself, but it caused him to choke on his own blood. His wings trembled, and even the players who were busy running away from each other watched in horror.
"You think I wanted all this?! You think I wanted to become like this?! And whose fault is it, huh?! You should've left me in that void, to never let me hurt anyone!"
Enough punches straight to the face, breaking blood vessels and cracking bones caused Grian to perish once again, eventually. But even after that, Martyn still wasn't done. In a blood-fueled dazed, he just grabbed him by the wings and continued to mercilessly attack Grian. The avian began squealing, trying to escape from his imminent doom. But there was no escape. Martyn continued to attack, even as his enemy stopped fighting back. The warm blood that marked his face mixed with his hot tears, as he screamed out all his frustrations at Grian.
Eventually, the avian stopped trying to run.
Grian was slain by Inthelittlewood.
Martyn sat over the horribly mauled Grian, who just let out his last breath. His body did not evaporate in a cloud of smoke, however. It just laid there, motionless, unable to fight, explain the situation, or even beg for mercy. The Captain wiped blood, sweat and tears from his face, marking his sleeve with red and black. He then looked around, not even flinching at all the other players who watched him, frozen in horror.
"You're welcome. You too, Grian."
Still shaking from the whole endeavor, Martyn pulled himself up. A bitter taste filled his mouth, his back slouching under the weight of what he'd just done. But at least, it was over. He could just leave, and wait for his time to tick down, away from everyone else. And nobody even tried to stop him, as he wobbly turned around and left, heading towards the uninhabited part of the server.
Maybe they also hoped that it would be the last time they saw the Captain.
Notes:
I might be taking a break from this fic after I finish Limited life portion. I'm happy that you guys are enjoying this one, but I'm slowly growing more and more tired of this one. Unless you want me to continue, then I will, just let me know ^^
Chapter 36: Out of all the paths, there could only be one end
Summary:
TW: Graphic violence
Martyn wins Limited Life. At last.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Even after losing his only teammate, Scott couldn't stop and grieve. All he could do is keep moving forward.
Sure, Martyn was not exactly pleasant to him. He was selfish, distrustful, violent and disregarding. Even if Scott managed to get him to open up for just a moment, it didn't help much. And now, he was completely alone. The only looming reminder of the fact that he was still somewhere out there was his name on the player list. First yellow, then red. This, and sporadic death messages, many of them coming from under his hand. Seeing Grian getting eliminated by Martyn spooked Scott quite badly, but at the same time, he was glad that his estranged friend was still doing well. There was only that problem with that, however.
If they managed to stay alive until the very end, Scott would have to make a hard decision. Kill, or get killed.
For most of the night, Scott hung close to team TIES. It wasn't a perfect solution, but they seemed trusting enough. The only time when he really strayed away from them was when Skizz decided to sacrifice his life and give more time to his teammates. Scott couldn't bear to see it. It hit a bit too close to home, and being confronted with that idea filled him with dread.
"Heeeeey Scott! C'mere!" At some point, the blue-haired man heard Joel's bloodthirsty tone, calling out to him from deep in the forest. Immediately, he grabbed his bow and readied it for a shot. "Give some time to your buddy, won'tcha?"
"Don't even try me, Joel." Scott hissed, his whole body tensing. A breeze flew right at him from the east, and the coral overgrowing him immediately picked up on the air current. Sensing his enemy too close, Scott immediately shot in the dark. He shut his eyes tight and took a step back; only to hear Joel's body fall to the ground right under his feet. The arrow pierced right through his chest. Scott sighed with relief.
"You..." Joel grunted in pain, struggling to get up.
"What happened to Grian?" Scott asked, readying another arrow. "If you tell me, I'll cut your suffering short."
"You think I know?" Joel chuckled bitterly. "We left him... In the Bad Boy Manor... And then, Martyn... Attacked him like a maniac... And killed him..."
Scott tilted his head. He didn't seem quite satisfied with the answer.
"Where did he go then?"
"To Bad Boy Heaven, probably..."
"Martyn, I mean."
Joel let out a chuckle. He attempted to pull himself up, but fell on the soft grass, sticky from his blood. The light in his eyes was beginning to dim down.
"Who knows... Why’d you care...?"
"I have my reasons."
Scott lowered his bow, then turned around, ready to leave without finishing the job. As he stepped away, all he could hear was Joel's groans of pain, and weakening breath. Eventually, after he couldn't see him anymore, a notification went off on his wristband.
Smallishbeans was shot by Smajor1995.
Scott smiled under his breath. More time to him, then. More time to find Martyn.
The Captain clearly didn't want to be found, though.
He hung around an uninhabited part of the server, overlooking the area from a hill. Whenever someone got too close in an attempt to save their skin, he immediately sprang into action and swiftly ended them. It was almost as if the other players lured his prey straight to him, and all he had to do was finish the job, like a vulture. It was almost too easy, and the ecstasy of gaining more time fueled him further. For the most of the night, he just sat on the edge of a hill, sharpening his sword with a rock and listening to anyone potentially approaching him.
Immediately upon hearing rustling of leaves just several feet from him, Martyn immediately pulled himself up and grabbed his weapon. He then let out a sharp whistle, as if to intimidate his soon-to-be prey.
"C'mere... I don't bite..."
"I'm not so sure about that, man..."
Martyn grinned upon hearing the voice. BigB. He already made a mental list of how likely he'd end each of the players, and this guy was definitely in the upper half. Maybe even top 5.
"BigB, dude, mate..." Martyn grinned, then took a few steps forward. He couldn't yet see the guy between the trees, so he had to guess based on where his voice was coming from. "Whatcha doing all the way out here?"
"I was running from Scott, man! This guy's aim is so good!"
Martyn immediately tensed upon hearing that. Scott was somewhere close... And he was on the very bottom of Martyn's aforementioned list. He had to finish this quickly, so that his teammate, his Mean gill, wouldn't find him. He immediately gripped his sword tighter and slashed off the nearest branch. The wood gave way immediately, due to how meticulously Martyn sharpened the blade.
"And where's your soulmate? Isn't he here to save you?"
"Of c'mon, man! You're still sour about that?" BigB nervously chuckled, looking around in an attempt to find the other man quickly. He wasn't exactly sure where Martyn was, and he didn't sound all too friendly. His biggest fear at that moment was being watched by a guy he couldn't even spot. "I don't know what happened to Ren!"
"Even if you did, you wouldn't tell me, would ya?"
"What do you want from me?"
In the blink of an eye, Martyn jumped from between the thick bushes and pinned BigB to the ground. His sword narrowly avoided piercing through the other man's face, instead digging deep into the ground just inches from his face. Martyn hovered over him, keeping one knee on BigB's chest.
"Grian blamed me for Ren disappearing... It wasn't me, y'hear?! It's not my fault!"
"Okay, okay! Fine, I believe you! At least let me go, dang it!"
Martyn looked at him with a cold, stern expression. Seeing BigB struggling under him was almost amusing. He squinted, then pulled his sword out of the ground.
"No worries. I'll get you to see your soulmate soon."
"Wait, n-"
BigB attempted to free himself one last time, before the Captain slit his throat with one smooth slash. Martyn got up from the ground, wiping the blood that sprayed on his face. He didn't even look as his victim wallowed in pain, unable to take his last breath.
BigBst4tz2 was slain by Inthelittlewood.
"One less to go, then."
Scott immediately froze in place upon hearing the gurgling sound of BigB choking, and then the notification going off on his wristband. Martyn had to be close, since he just ended BigB seconds ago. Despite knowing the consequences it could bring, he decided to open his mouth.
"Martyn!"
Martyn shivered, but didn't dare to turn around. It could've been anyone - but why Scott? The one guy he promised himself to not hurt unless push comes to shove. Even if he wasn't exactly sure why. He could just pretend he wasn't there... But the death message gave him away. It suggested that he killed BigB in hand-to-hand combat, so he had to still be close.
"Martyn! C'mon, we can talk about this! We can still team up and take out the other guys!"
The Captain remained silent. What was he supposed to tell him? That he didn't deserve to be allied with anyone? That it probably wouldn't save Scott in the long run? That he wanted to stay like this? He just took a few quiet steps back, hoping that Scott didn't spot him yet.
"Martyn, please... I know you're scared, and confused and all. But we're still teammates, right? I know this game has been rough, but we can make this work..."
Martyn covered his ears upon hearing that. No, it couldn't be true. It had to be a trick. Why would anyone want to still be teammates with him? Everyone always left, eventually. Either on their own accord, or because Martyn made them. The latter was true more often, though. And Scott really wanted to stay...? He shook his head, then turned to leave. At this point, he no longer cared whether Scott would spot him, or hear him. As long as he knew to stay far, far away from him.
Scott did, in fact, spot him.
For just a moment, he could see Martyn between the trees. Still, at the most crucial moment, he hesitated. The anguish on the Captain's face seemed to sharpen his already angular features. The coral tightly covered his head and shoulders, almost like tightly-knit thorns. His blue eyes were ice-cold and striking, but a little teary.
Scott didn't have the guts to approach him. As far as he knew, Martyn would kill him on the spot. It was safer to just leave him be.
Martyn was glad that Scott decided to let him be. He didn't have the guts to kill Scott if he was approached. Only that one miscommunication saved their lives.
The players kept dropping like flies. Scott came back to his temporary team, but the numbers dwindled quickly. Eventually, whole alliances were wiped out. Bad Boys, then Clockers, then Nosy Neighbors. Eventually, even one of his remaining allies fell. Eventually, after a long chase after Pearl, he found himself with Impulse in the middle of spawn, both gasping for air and shaking from exhaustion.
"Is it... Is it the end...?" Impulse panted, resting his hands against his knees."It's... It's just us, isn't it?"
Scott didn't answer. He just hoped that Impulse wouldn't notice. And that he wouldn't hold a grudge.
"What do we do now...?" The man huffed, foolishly turning his back to Scott. "We need to find a fair way to end this..."
"We do."
"Maybe we just... Y'know, take our armor off, and then have a fistfight?" Impulse chuckled. "Although, would that be fair? I'm afraid I'm stronger than you..."
"You probably are. I have a different idea."
"Yeah?-"
Before Impulse could even turn to him, a sharp pain shot right through his back. Impulse gasped, the arrow digging deep into his tissue and knocking him down in an instant. The last remaining TIES member hit the ground, blood pooling all around him.
ImpulseSV was shot by Smajor1995.
Scott sighed, then lowered his bow. It had to be done, eventually. At least he brought Impulse a swift death. He just wished it could be painless as well.
"Sorry, man. It's nothing personal." He whispered, then raised his voice again. "I know you're out there, Martyn! Come on, let's finish this!"
Scott flinched at the horrible sound of metal scraping against rock. He turned around to witness Martyn jumping down Clockers' base and landing roughly on the barren land. His face was almost emotionless, with the only thing that Scott could pinpoint being exhaustion. He couldn't blame him.
"You know it didn't have to end this way. If you died earlier, I wouldn't have to kill you now."
"So did you."
Scott raised his bow again, but did not grab an arrow just yet. Maybe there was still a way to talk things through with Martyn. Death game or not, that guy was struggling, and he wanted to at least attempt to help, while they were still on somewhat goot terms.
"You know what happens now, Scott?" the Captain asked. He only received a silent nod in return. "Good. Let's get this over with, already."
"Wait- Martyn, can we talk first?"
Martyn tilted his head and squinted. He didn't stop approaching Scott, but his ally-turned-rival didn't move. He was ready to face his fate. Maybe Martyn wanted to intimidate him in his last moments. He wouldn't let that happen.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"You... You don't seem well. Listen, I know these games are rough, and that you're scared and lonely, but-"
Before he could even finish the sentence, Martyn dug his sword deep into Scott's guts with one, quick thrust. The blue-haired man gasped, his mouth immediately filling with blood. He should've seen it coming.
"You have no idea what you're talking about." He hissed. "You have no idea who you're talking to. The Captain is never scared, and he's never lonely. Got it, smallfry?"
Scott let out a weak chuckle. Blood not only streaked down his shirt, coloring his coral red, but also down his chin straight from his mouth.
"What about Martyn...? He seems scared... And Lonely... I wanted to help... Him..."
"Wrong."
Martyn twisted the sword just a couple degrees - enough for another wave of pain to rock Scott's body. He let go of his bow and fell on top of Martyn, life fleeting from his eyes. Despite his stern, cold demeanor, Martyn kept him upright with his arm.
"Did you touch my journal?"
"No... I don't even know... Where you left it..."
"Good. Thank you."
Martyn gently laid Scott down on the rocky ground. He sat right next to him, holding his hand as Scott bled out. Their breathing synched for a while, before Scott's breathing ceased completely.
Smajor1995 was slain by Inthelittlewood.
Now, there was last one thing for Martyn to tend to.
Right as he got back on the Coral Islands, Martyn entered his and Scott's old base. He didn't even seem to notice that it was in complete ruin, after getting bombed repeatedly from the infamous Skynet. All that mattered to him was that his journal was right where he left it - at the very bottom of his chest. It was. So Scott didn't lie. The Captain took a deep breath, then sat down between all the rubble and began to write.
I did it. I won. I'm the last one standing. I don't have much time left, but I don't have anything better to do now.
I could go back and bury Scott. He deserves it, for how long he put up with me. What a fool, he should've known that it would end like this. Unless he knew that it would, and he still went with this. If so, he's an even bigger fool. He should've saved his own skin, not tried to save mine.
Maybe this is finally the end. Maybe now that I won, I'll be free. Well, the other winners are still around, but this time has to work, right?
But where do I even go? I have nothing left. No friends, no home. All that's waiting for me is-
Martyn froze in place for a moment, his mind going completely blank. No matter how hard he tried to go back to where he was from, and to his life before the games, it felt as if his brain short circuited. As if there was nothing there. Or that his brain completely blocked out these memories. He groaned and shook his head, then continued to write.
Doesn't matter. I just have to get out of here. Just like Ren did. Does that mean I'll get to see him again?
No, stop. Don't think about him. No matter what happens, don't. Think. About. Ren. It's better that he isn't around. The only guy who had any faith in you, at least doesn't get to see you at your worst. Or maybe best. Hard to tell.
Either way, this is it. It can't be much worse going forward, can it?
Martyn shivered, it felt as if his time was ticking down faster than he expected. He closed his journal and hugged his tight to his chest. One last reminder of someone who trusted him. It smelled of leather and failed expectations.
This is what he wanted. Then why did he feel so... Cold?
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
"What do you wish for, winner?"
Martyn flinched upon hearing the voice. Well, he would've, if he still had a body. At this point, he was already reduced into nothing. No body to hurt, no blood to spill, no mind to lose.
"What...?"
"As one of our champions, you get to make a wish. But be careful what you wish for. Many before you did not take that advice to heart."
"What do you... Who are you? I wanna know who you are, first!"
"Yours will be done."
Notes:
Finally Limited Life portion is done... I'll be honest - I know you guys like this fic, but I'm getting a bit tired of it. It's been going for so long... I'll do my best to not abandon it, but I might take a few days break from it specifically. We'll see. Especially since this week is gonna be quite busy for me.
Still, I hope you enjoyed this one ^^
Chapter 37: All the secrets you will never know
Summary:
From the first moments on the new server, Martyn immediately knows this game is going to be different. Despite winning the last game, he's never felt this bad, confused, and alone.
Notes:
Yep, HTS is back! I needed a bit of a break from this one and honestly, it really helped. I can't promise to go back to being consistent with this one, but I'll try my best. Your comments help a ton with that, as it helps with this awful feeling that nobody is enjoying this. So I really hope you do ^^
Chapter Text
The last thing Martyn could recall before waking up, was that he was falling.
And then he woke up, as something hard and rectangular fell on his chest. He immediately sat up, barely covering his mouth before a scream slipped his lips. He felt soft, damp grass surrounding him. Wait, it wasn't just the grass that was wet - he was completely drenched. His breathing was heavy and strained, as if he just ran for miles. That only made him more lightheaded, his head was spinning so bad that it felt impossible to get up. He groaned and attempted to stand up, but almost immediately fell to the ground.
"What the hell..." He groaned, clutching his temple and shutting his eyes close. But then he opened them again - when he noticed tens of pairs of eyes staring right at him. His whole body tensed. "Watchers..."
Martyn wasn't even sure where he heard that name. He just somehow knew it, and hissing it out felt... Strangely good. Almost like swearing loudly after stubbing one's toe. He shivered, then carefully pulled himself up from the grass.
"You're starting to remember. We will never make you forget."
"Forget what...? What are you? What did you do to Ren?!"
"Martyn...?"
"You will learn eventually, Mars. And you will wish you never did."
"Why the hell do you call me that? Show yourselves!"
"Martyn!"
The blond man flinched and immediately turned around. After noticing that Jimmy was standing right behind him, his face immediately went fully red. The canary seemed quite confused by his friend's strange behavior. He took a step closer, but stopped when he noticed Martyn backing off.
"You alright, man? First you spawned late, now you're... Yelling..."
"I'm alright. Whyddya care?"
"Grian told me to wait for you here. Give you a rundown of the rules and all... Here, this will come in useful."
Jimmy leaned down and picked up a book that fell on the wet grass. Martyn didn't even notice it earlier, but now his memories were beginning to flood back. Was that what woke him up by falling on him? His whole body tensed when at first, he thought it was his journal that Jimmy dared to touch... But it wasn't, which calmed him down. For just a moment, however - seeing a strangely familiar, rectangular sigil on the cover gave him another anxiety spike. One of his hands went towards the front pocket of his hoodie. The journal was still safe inside. Good.
"What is this...?"
"It's your secret task! You get one every day, and you have to complete it. Oh, and you can't tell anyone what that is." Jimmy explained in a surprisingly calm tone. Martyn was quite surprised that he was acting so chill around him. Especially now, that the memories of everyone of the server hating him hit him again, and made his insides feel all wrong. The avian then pointed to a large structure just a few dozen feet away from them. "And this is the Secret keeper! You come here when you..."
Martyn no longer listened to Jimmy after turning to face the Secret keeper. Immediately after seeing the giant, stone statue, with its face adorned with the same ominous symbol, he felt full body chills that went down his spine. A guttural reaction shook his whole body - his hands began to shake, his vision blurred, all his insides felt as if they were ripped out of him, turned inside out, then stitched back inside. Before he knew it, Jimmy had to catch him before he collapsed on the ground.
"Woah! Dude, are you okay? What's wrong?"
"These bastards..." He groaned, letting Jimmy help him get back on his feet. The whole world was spinning in his eyes, and every second it was getting worse and worse.
"Should I go get Grian? Maybe you got sick from the last game, or-"
"Don't." Martyn interrupted him, his voice weak, but serious. "I mean it. He's gonna make it worse."
"How?"
"I... I don't know. Just leave me alone."
"Now? Dude, you don't look good, really! Maybe you wanna hang around with me instead...?"
But Martyn stopped listening to him yet again. He slowly stepped away from him. Due to his nausea, he couldn't walk fast - if Jimmy wanted, he would catch up with him in moments. But he didn't. It made Martyn both relieved and even more miserable. Relieved, because he didn't have to explain his strange state he didn't quite understand himself. And miserable, because it meant Jimmy was yet another person who would not deal with him out of the goodness of his heart. Martyn couldn't blame him.
As soon as he disappeared in the thick of a forest, Martyn looked down at his supposed secret task. The book was not very big, but heavier than it seemed. The cover was made from purple leather, with the strange sigil carved out on top. It no longer provoked such a strong reaction from Martyn, but seeing it still made him feel uneasy. He pulled his hand over the smooth cover. It felt cold, unnaturally so. Almost as if something was making it cold on purpose. The man shook his head, attempting and failing to get rid of his nausea, then slowly opened the book to take a look at his new task.
Build an-
Before Martyn could finish reading, a wave of headache shot through his cranium, starting in his eyes and going all the way back to the back of his head. He groaned loudly in pain and dropped the book in an attempt to cover his face. His eyes felt like they were burning and almost melting. The pain was so intense, he wished he could rip his brain out and throw it as far away as he could. Martyn leaned back against a tree, taking in deep breaths to try and calm his anxiety and thumping heart. His nausea was getting even worse, and he would've probably thrown up already if only he had anything in his stomach.
"What the hell was that...?" He asked quietly. He didn't want to admit he directed the question to the Watchers, but deep down, he really wanted them to answer him. Even though he was aware their answer would never be straightforward.
"You and Uranus messed with forces you do not understand."
"Ura- who? Wait, I have no idea what you're talking about!"
"You eventually will."
"Yeah, eventually! Why do you want to make me suffer in particular?!"
Martyn picked the book up and attempted to read it. The letters kept mixing in his eyes, blurring and shifting beyond understanding. The pain connected with looking at them was still there, but not as prominent. He grunted, then shut the book closed and hid it in his hoodie pocket.
"It's so unfair... I'm supposed to complete these stupid tasks, right? And I can't even read what my task is! You set me up for failure!"
"You already won once, Mars. You asked for this."
"I didn't ask for shit! I don't even know what you guys are!"
"You do know our name, do you not?"
"Well, yeah- But that doesn't prove anything! Lemme guess, that sickness is also your doing?"
"You will get accustomed to it eventually."
"That doesn't answer my question, you bastards-"
Martyn suddenly stopped as the sound of someone's voice reached him. He straightened up - a bit too quickly, as it sent another wave of pain through his body. He groaned and slumped, hoping for the headache to leave soon. The voice was coming from just several feet away, between the trees... And it was strangely familiar.
"...Yeah, we can try and claim that mountain there... All we need now is a cool name, and we're all set..."
"Scott...?" Martyn whispered, pulling apart branches of a bush he just crossed. Immediately, the blue-haired man flinched and took a step back from the crafting table he was leaning over. He was joined by someone Martyn didn't recognize - a short, ginger woman. Her green eyes watched Martyn vigilantly from behind her round glasses. Martyn's face lit up. "Scott! I can't believe I'm saying it, but I'm so glad to see you..."
"Can't believe I'm saying it, but I'm not." Scott muttered and reached for his sword. Immediately, the blond man backed off.
"Wait, wait wait wait, hold up! I'm not going to attack you. I don't have any wood, let alone a sword."
"You don't need a weapon to hurt people. We both know that."
Martyn bit his lip. He couldn't deny it, Scott had a point. Maybe getting so excited about seeing his ex-teammate was a bad call. In an attempt to steer the conversation away from the topic of hurting people, he looked at Scott's new companion.
"We've never met before, did we?"
"I don't think so, no." The woman's voice was melodic, a bit deeper than Martyn expected. She tightened her grip on a stone axe, probably in reaction to Scott putting his guard up. She then turned to her friend, who inhaled sharply and lowered his weapon.
"Gem, this is Martyn. My ex... Ally, I guess. And a guy who stabbed me to kill the last game."
"Oh."
"I was thinking, ummm..." Martyn nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe you wanna team up with me...? You, Gem... Maybe we can find someone else? Maybe Ren is back at last, he'll definitely join us!"
"Who's Ren?"
Scott let out a soft chuckle, then took a step towards Martyn. His half-lidded eyes carried more bitterness and frustration than Martyn imagined he could contain in his relatively small body. He took a step back, almost falling into the bush he just stepped out of.
"You got me and my friends killed... You hurt my best friend repeatedly... Hurt my feelings over and over again, and then killed me... And now you want to team up with me...?"
"Yes...?"
Another cold shiver crossed Martyn's body as Scott stood right in front of him. The shorter man put his hand on Martyn's shoulder, then squeezed it. He had more strength in his hands than Martyn expected, and that made him even more insecure.
"I expected a lot from you... But I had no idea you'd be this arrogant, Littlewood."
Martyn flinched. He hated it when people called him by that nickname. He looked at Gem in search of some sort of validation. Yet again, he could try and have one more chance with someone new, someone who didn't knot all his rough edges and rotten spots... Only to have the worst of his history pointed out by Scott in front of her. The woman watched him for a moment, then wordlessly turned back to their crafting table.
"Okay, okay, I get it... You can let me go. I'll just leave."
"Good boy. And don't come back."
"Yeah, I got that part too."
Instead of leaving any other normal way, Martyn got away from them through the same bush he just emerged from. He groaned as the sharp branches dug into his green hoodie. The weight of Scott's hand on his shoulder, even when it was gone, still caused him to slump. He attempted to look at his secret task one last time. The letters danced in front of his eyes, making his dizziness even worse than it already was. To test whether he was completely unable to read, he looked down at his wristband and scrolled through the player list. The man sighed with relief upon realizing that he could read the player names just fine. Not only that, Lizzie returned to the game... And Mumbo. Martyn sighed quietly. Looks like he could face another sour reunion... And the only reunion he was somewhat looking for was clearly not happening. Ren's name was still gone from the list.
"Where are you...? And... How did you make me care?" Martyn whispered to himself, then approached one of the trees. It was still early, but he wasted enough time trying and failing to make any connections... He needed to finally catch up. Especially since this time he was going to be truly alone.
By the time Martyn gathered enough materials for a set of tools, Martyn was already on the brink of collapse. His hands did not stop shaking, but they also began feeling cold and numb from constantly holding and using his tools. His head was no longer spinning as bad, at least when he was not doing any sudden movements. Sometimes he heard voices of other players around them, but he never approached any of them. He could tell exactly who he heard - Mumbo, Pearl, BigB, Joel, Cleo. All the people he hurt in one way or another. If meeting up with them was meant to go even half as bad as it went with Scott, he'd rather avoid it altogether. Even if his whole body ached at the sound of his 'friends' leaving. That was safer. For himself, and for them as well.
There was another voice that Martyn constantly heard, but no matter what he did, he couldn't get rid of it. A nagging whisper in the back of his mind. Sometimes he thought he understood the words, but focusing on them for more than a few seconds made his headache strike back. If only his stubbornness didn't push him to try anyway. Eventually, the pain and the dizziness caused him to throw up, despite being on an empty stomach. And the longer the day went one, the exhaustion was making it harder and harder for him to work, to walk, to even think. Not like he needed to do that, anyway. Whatever the Watchers were, they clearly just wanted to toy with him. It didn't matter if he was destined to fail, because of his inability to read his own task.
Eventually, Martyn headed south. He didn't see all that many people head that way. The spot Scott spoke about was on the opposite corner of the map to where he wanted to claim his base. After crossing Scar's turf and not even saying hello back to the man, he began climbing a colorful mesa hill. The scent of clay was strong, but it dulled his senses in a strange way. The land was completely barren, with only a few dead trees crossing his way as he climbed up. It was colder than he expected - not straight up cold, but the air he expected to be hot and dry turned out to be quite pleasant and humid. His hands quickly got dirty from the red, orange and brown of the clay. His legs hurt from climbing, despite similar hills never being a big problem for him. Eventually, he pulled himself up to the top of the hill, where a flat, clay-covered surface welcomed him. A perfect place to set up a solitary house.
By the time Martyn finished building, it was late in the night. From where he was, he saw the other players gathering around the Secret keeper just after sundown. He didn't join them. For one, it would take him a lot of time to get there, and the others probably weren't keen on waiting. Two, he didn't really care. Due to whatever the Watchers were doing to him, he already felt excluded from the games. What was he supposed to say? That he didn't finish his task because he couldn't read it? They wouldn't believe him, that's for sure... And Grian probably wouldn't be of much help either. He was Grian, after all. Martyn could tell that he was connected to the Watchers, even if his exhausted and strained brain couldn't quite make the connection. He just resorted to watching the gathering from afar for a few minutes, then returning to his work.
His house was quite small and simple - the most his weakened state could allow him to do. As long as he had four stable walls, a roof and a door to shut in front of people's faces, he was satisfied. He mostly used the wood he gathered earlier and reinforced it with all the clay that covered the land. Thanks to that, the house blended into the biome quite well and lowered the chance of people pestering him. He walked inside, then immediately fell on the hard floor. His legs gave out, after feeling like they were made of jello for the past few hours. He tossed his secret task book aside, then pulled out his journal. He really wanted to write down everything he went through that day, but his eyes were way too heavy to keep open long enough to write. Instead, Martyn put his head on the journal like on a very hard pillow, then took off his hoodie to use as a blanket. The whispers finally quieted down, and allowed the troubled man to fall into a deep sleep.
Until the next morning, when someone knocked on his door.
Chapter 38: One place worse than hell
Summary:
Jimmy ends up teaming up with Martyn, and attempts to have a nice adventure with him. As always, it backfires horribly.
Notes:
At first I was supposed to write this chapter today, before Martyn's birthday stream (because he was going to go through Inthelittlezine, which I also participated in!). Then, he started his stream much earlier, right as I was about to start writing xd but he had to cut it early, so I ended up writing this after all. Supposedly, he's gonna read all the written pieces aloud tomorrow on stream, and I'm both excited and terrified at the prospect of him reading mine TwT It will be cool though! I hope
Chapter Text
"Oh... It's you."
"Hi Martyn!" Jimmy's voice chimed in the air. He looked too happy for how early it was, and somehow even Martyn's grumpy expression didn't dim down his optimism. He leaned over the door frame, his wings gently trembling on the wind. "I see you got a nice house here!"
"Yeah...?"
"You didn't notice that I claimed this land last afternoon, didya?"
"You- What? When?" Martyn immediately peeked inside of his house, then looked where Jimmy gestured to him. Indeed, there was a sign placed next to where he climbed to the top of the hill. Last evening he mistook it for another dead bush, so he paid it no mind... And now it led to this. He sighed and rubbed his face with his hand, trying to wake himself up. "Okay, I guess you did... Give me a moment, I'll get my stuff and leave. No need to make a fuss."
"I wasn't going to! Actually, you wanna team up maybe?"
Martyn squinted, watching Jimmy as if he just confessed to him. Jimmy? Teaming up with him ? After everything that happened in the previous games? He puffed out his cheeks, pondering the offer for a moment.
"You're pulling my leg, aren'tcha?"
"What? No, why would I?"
"You wanna team up with me ? Like, me me?"
"Yeah! I get it, you were kind of a jerk the past few games, but... We can try again! I don't have anyone else to team up with anyway!"
"...Neat."
"So? Can I come in?"
"I guess..."
Martyn stepped away from the door, allowing Jimmy to enter. The taller man had to bend to not hit his head against the low roof, but he looked strangely optimistic nonetheless. Martyn plopped down on the ground where he was just sleeping, watching him vigilantly. His migraine lessened over the night and he was feeling less nauseous, but he could tell he wasn't fully back in the game yet. At least the voices were gone. For now.
"Oh, by the way! I didn't see you at the task claiming ceremony last night! Did you just finish early?"
"At the what?"
"You know! Remember the Secret keeper I told you about? Last night, we all met up there and everyone pushed the button for success or for failure, depending on what happened!"
"Oh, that's nice..."
"A few people asked about you! Grian, Scar, Mumbo, Lizzie-"
"Mumbo asked about me?" Martyn interrupted him immediately, his stomach clenching in realization. He didn't even talk to his... 'Ex' since the game started, only saw him in passing. But the fact that the man did as little as ask about him... A warm feeling spreaded through Martyn's chest in an instant. He pulled his journal closed to his chest, a faint smile illuminating his face. "What did you tell him...?"
"Nothing! I didn't know where you went! Did you finish your task early or what?"
"Uhh... Not exactly..."
Suddenly, as if on command, a ticking sound rang through the air around them. After three ticks, a secret task book spawned above each of them with a faint whistle. Jimmy's fell straight into his hand, while Martyn let out a faint "ow" when his book hit him in the head. He grabbed his book and flung it open, whispering under his breath:
"Please work this time, please work, please work..."
Convince so-
Martyn groaned in pain as another wave of migraine hit his head. He had to shut the book closed and cover his eyes, to stop his eyes from stinging. His heart began pounding harder. What was happening? He looked up at Jimmy a moment later, in hopes of noticing a similar struggle from him. Nothing. He read through his task normally, nodding and letting out a soft whistle.
"This will be... Tricky, but I can try! How about you, dude?"
"I, uhhh..." Martyn sighed, then extended the book towards him. "C'mon, try to read it. I can't."
"Dude, I can't!" Jimmy covered his eyes, to avoid accidentally seeing the task. "You're gonna fail if you just let me read it!"
"But it's broken! It's unreadable, and hurts my eyes whenever I try! Try it!"
"I can't-"
"Timmy, damnit! Just try it!"
"Okay, okay! Fine!"
The taller man grabbed the book. He set his own book aside, away from Martyn's grasp, then looked at his friend's task. Martyn could feel his stomach drop when he realized that Jimmy did not go through such a violent reaction to seeing the 'broken' book. Even more so, when he began reading his supposed task.
" 'Convince someone to burn down your house and not get called out.' "
"You're kidding."
"No, I'm serious! It's written right here! Dude, if you didn't want to do it, you could just reroll instead of failing it!"
Martyn flinched, his throat getting tighter and his eyes beginning to sting again. Was Jimmy joking? Did he just make up that task on the spot to try to fool him into thinking this was his real task? But he didn't seem affected by the book's strange effect... No burning eyes, no sudden wave of migraine. He looked completely normal. If a little confused. Martyn got up from his spot, then immediately pulled the book out of his hands.
"What the hell did you-"
He attempted to read the task again, but recoiled in pain at another wave of headache. He dropped the book on the ground, then kicked it in frustration.
"This isn't happening... What did they do to me...?"
"Who?"
"You remember them, right? The... The Watchers? They've been talking to me, and watching me... I bet this is their doing! I won last time, so they're trying to like, nerf me, right?" He chuckled nervously, pulling on his own hair. "They hate me, but why? They're trying to get me eliminated early? Is this why they sent you to team up with me, or-"
Martyn immediately stopped when he realized what he just said. He looked up at Jimmy who, fortunately, did not look all that offended by the comment. It still probably hurt, though. Martyn looked down, letting go of his hair.
"I sound like I'm crazy, don't I?"
"Maybe... Just a little...?"
"Great... Nevermind all that. And sorry about that."
"No worries! Just because I didn't win yet, doesn't mean it's never happening! Right?"
Martyn didn't answer. There was something in him that really wanted to say 'no', but this time, he bit his tongue. Jimmy was still somehow putting up with him, and that was important. For just a moment, an uncomfortable silence settled between them like a sticky spiderweb, binding them from speaking or moving. Eventually, Martyn fell on the floor again, sitting between the chests of things he managed to collect. He just watched Jimmy silently, waiting for what he’ll say. He could tell that the canary was getting uncertain. Maybe that's for the better. He will leave him alone, join another team, let him wallow in sorrow alone and not bother him about day to day things, like these stupid tasks-
"Hey, how about we go to the Nether? Nobody's been there yet!"
"The Nether...? Why?"
"Why not?"
Martyn couldn't help but smile at that.
"Tell you what Tim, I'm..." He sighed, bracing himself for the smallest amount of opening up. "I'm exhausted, sick, hungry, confused and probably losing my mind as we speak... But... Yeah. A Nether trip sounds good, actually."
"Heck yeah! Some hot Nether air will be good for your old bones."
"And me punching you will not be good for your bones."
"C'mon! I already finished the portal!" Jimmy grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards the door. Martyn sighed, then threw his journal toward his pile of stuff to keep it in safety. Losing it to lava would probably be the last nail in the coffin of his psyche.
The hot Nether air was not, in fact, good for Martyn's 'old bones'.
The heavy, ash-filled air immediately made him feel heavy and sweaty. It was quite a stark contrast to how he felt the last time around he found himself in the hellish dimension. Back then, he barely felt the difference, maybe aside from the temperature. This time, he was close to returning home immediately - but he didn't want to look like a coward in front of Jimmy. Everyone, but not Jimmy. He took a deep breath, his lungs already laced with dust, the took a few steps towards a cliff.
"So... Where are we headin'?" He asked, turning to Jimmy. As his friend spoke, Martyn took his hoodie off and wrapped it around his hips. Not a perfect solution, but it will have to do for the time being.
"You don't see a fortress anywhere, do you...?"
"Not really..." Martyn squinted, looking around the area. Just an ocean of lava, some lavafalls, sparse netherrack-covered islands and Piglins. So. Many. Piglins. The man shuddered, but then suddenly, he caught a glimpse of something in the distance. Something dark, barely poking out from the thick mist covering the dimension. "Wait, there's something there... But it's too dark to be a fortress, isn't it?"
"It's... Dude, it's a bastion! We gotta check it out!"
"Huh? Haven't seen that one in a while..." Martyn chuckled. He then groaned in frustration. "Man, I forgot to take a weapon..."
"I can give you an axe! How about that?"
Martyn felt a cold shiver fly down his spine. Yeah. An axe . Giving him an axe has never ever ended up bad before. He clenched his teeth, then nodded silently. It was still better than entering a literal bastion unarmed.
"Fine. Gimme."
The trek down the treacherous Nether hills was not the quickest, not the nicest experience. The ground felt uneven and shaky, and the returning dizziness did not help Martyn in the slightest. He used his axe to help stabilize himself, but even then, Jimmy had to constantly stop and wait for him. Martyn was beginning to feel more and more guilty. He should've just said no and stayed at his home, alone... There, he could handle the pain and the sickness all on his own, instead of having to lag behind Jimmy. By the time they finally reached the bastion, he was even more exhausted than last evening, when he finally finished building his house. A part of him wanted to drop on the ground and fall asleep right then and there, amidst the blazing inferno.
"Here! This will come in use." Jimmy pulled out a golden helmet from his inventory and dropped it on Martyn's head. The man groaned in pain, as the heavy armor piece made his whole skull ring.
"Ouch! Dude! Besides, isn't wearing helmets forbidden?"
"It's fine, nobody's here except for us! You can throw it out when we're done! And this way, nothing should attack us!"
"I hope you're right..." Martyn sighed, watching as Jimmy also put a helmet on.
Just moments later, both of them entered the decrepit structure. The air was heavy with smoke, ash and the snorting and grunting of Piglins. The floor under their feet was even more unstable than the hills they just crossed. The walls were full of holes, allowing them to have a good look at where they were and if there was any danger nearby. Jimmy led the way, while Martyn stayed in the back again, gripping his axe as tightly as he could. The white, iron blade reflected the blackstone walls, making it appear much darker. The Piglins shot them a few glances, but they didn't pay much attention to the intruders. Guess the helmets were doing their job.
"Are we looking for anything in particular?"
"Well, some golden apples would be nice..." Jimmy whispered. "Maybe we can find some enchanted gear here... Oh, and a Pigstep disc!"
"...I don't think we need a Pigstep disc."
"But it would be fun to find one! Just be careful with the chest, opening them could-"
"-Anger the piglins, yeah, I know. It's gonna be fine, don't worry. We just block off the treasury, get the loot, then try to leave another way. Easy peasy."
"Alright. Let's do it."
Navigating around the structure was not the easier task, as all of the corridors were tight, heavily damaged, and in some cases completely dilapidated. Many times, they had to turn around and backtrack, with tens of Piglins watching them carefully. Martyn found himself holding his breath a couple of times. If he just remained silent and didn't attack any of them, he'll be all good. And attacking them by accident was a hard feat to achieve.
Eventually, they found their way into a treasury. It contained many chests stacked on top of one another, each covered with a thick layer of dust and ash. The two players silently hung around, waiting for the Piglins to wander off, then Jimmy pushed a pickaxe into Martyn's hands.
"Go cover the entrances. I'll get the goodies and we bounce. Got it?"
"Sure. Just be careful."
"You too, dude. The moment I open them, they'll come rushing through."
"Leave the bastards to me."
It didn't take long for Martyn to dig out some material from the already unstable walls and floor, then begin blocking the entrances. The monstrous pigs were none the wiser... He smiled under his breath. Maybe it was going to be easier than he expected...
Until, all of a sudden, he heard laughter. And it definitely wasn't Jimmy's.
He knew that laughter. So light, so warm, so carefree... His mouth immediately started feeling dry, his hands trembling. He was just hearing things, wasn't he?
"Tim? You heard that?"
"Heard what?"
"Nevermind..."
But as Martyn answered him, the sound repeated. He really was losing his mind, wasn't he? He groaned, then looked out into one of the corridors.
"Ren...?" He whispered.
Then, a moment later, another sound reached him.
The loud squeak of old, rusty hinges, as Jimmy opened one of the chests.
"Wait! I'm not done with the walls!-"
Immediately, the whole bastion roared in alert. The Piglins immediately picked up on what was going on, almost like a hivemind. The clang of their hooves against the floor and stairs was getting closer and closer with each second.
"Crap! We gotta- Martyn! Where are you going?!"
Martyn didn't listen. The laughter repeated, and his body acted on his own. He bolted through the corridor, trying to reach the sound he knew was fake. But he needed it... He needed to hear it, even for a while longer... It felt like it was giving him life, in contrast to these awful, awful Watchers, which seemed dead set on taking it away...
"Ren...? Ren!"
Suddenly, something tackled Martyn to the ground. He fell on the hard, stone floor, scraping his arms and knees against the rough surface. The hit knocked his breath out of his lungs, rendering him breathless for a moment. He shook his head, as if trying to regain focus. His vision was beginning to blur from exhaustion. He heard someone's steps approaching him. He heard an angry grunt. He saw a glint of something gold, and something very, very close to him. Something shiny, hanging above his head.
"Ren...?"
Inthelittlewood was slain by Piglin Brute.
Martyn woke up back at spawn, panting and on the brink of breaking down. His lungs were burning, his neck hurt from the lethal blow dealt by the monster. He jerked up, his whole body shaking. He was sitting with his back to the Secret keeper, but he could feel their stare right on his back. It was them, wasn't it...?
"Martyn?"
The man almost screamed in surprise. He turned around, only to see a group of people standing and chatting not too far away from him. Joel, Bdubs, Pearl and... Mumbo. And it was the last one who called his name. It was an innocent question, but in an instant, Martyn's eyes filled up with tears. He opened his mouth, but his voice broke immediately, not letting him voice a single word. He just got up from the ground and wordlessly ran back towards his base.
"What's up with that guy...?" Joel asked in a snarky manner. Pearl just shrugged.
"He'll be fine. Just being weird again. Don't worry about him."
"Yeah!" Bdubs added. "He's just a jerk! Poor Jimmy, why did he want to team up with him and not us.?"
"I... I guess you're right." Mumbo nodded, but couldn't stop watching after his ex friend. It has been a while since he has seen him like this... But he seemed far from the Martyn he knew.
The one he fell for so long ago.
Chapter 39: Growing past mistakes (before they outgrow you)
Summary:
Martyn's mental state takes another hit after his humiliating first death. Luckily, he has someone who tries to help.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Being the first player to die in this game, let alone to something like a Piglin Brute, was easily the most embarrassing moment of Martyn's life. Or at least of the life he could recall. Immediately after respawning, he ran towards his base and hid inside, not keen on leaving - preferably ever. When Jimmy returned from the Nether and wanted to get back to his base, it took a lot of convincing for Martyn to allow him back into his own base. Even so, Martyn did not leave for even a moment in the next few days. When Jimmy got busy rebuilding and expanding their house, he buried himself under a blanket on his bed and pretended he wasn't there. Whenever his teammate tried to talk to him about what happened, Martyn shut him down immediately. The idea of telling him about what he heard and saw - or rather, didn't see - was way too embarrassing. What was he supposed to say? That he thought he heard Ren, who wasn't even there? That he ran after him like a lovesick puppy, only to get axed by a Piglin Brute. He didn't even mention that aside from getting beheaded by the monster, he hurt his leg after getting tackled to the ground. That would humiliate him even further, so staying in bed all day to not risk deepening the injury sounded like a better plan.
And so, it became Jimmy's duty to take care of both of them. He spent his days completing (or failing) his tasks, gathering resources, growing food for the both of them and talking to others. This game turned out less brutal than any of the previous ones and for a serious while, Martyn was the only yellow on the server. Every time Jimmy was asked about his teammate's whereabouts and mental state, he just shrugged it off and said that Martyn needed some time to rest and recover. Which was not a lie, but provided just enough information for most of the players to stop questioning the previous winner's strange behavior.
But not all of them.
"I saw what happened in the Nether... It sounds unlike him to die like this." Mumbo hummed, pulling on his moustache as he tried to make sense out of the whole situation.
"No offense, Mumbo, but I know him way longer than you do," Jimmy set his hoe aside and began putting the freshly grown crops into a chest, "and this guy is a wildcard. Sometimes he seems like a genius, sometimes he acts like a complete idiot."
"Yeah, I know that much... But, uh, do you need my help with anything?"
"No thanks, I'm managing just fine, dude." Jimmy smiled and grabbed the chest. "He's not easy to deal with, but... I've been through worse."
"Not easy to deal with, how...?"
"Well, since that incident, all he's been really doing is sitting at home, plundering through our food supplies and writing something in this book of his. He hides it everytime I'm around, but he's not as sneaky as he thinks."
Mumbo nodded. He was still upset over what happened between him and Martyn three games ago, but his gentle, caring nature made him worried about his ex friend. He wanted to help, but he was aware that this would probably cause even more problems, for them both. So, as Jimmy left towards their base at the top of a mesa hill, he just watched silently, until the canary disappeared inside of their house. He then sighed and turned around, ready to join his new teammates.
Jimmy sighed as he saw the house in even more disarray than usually. Martyn sat on his bed, buried under his and Jimmy's blankets, frantically noting something down. His bed and its surroundings were littered with leftover food from the past few days - but somehow, none of it crossed into Jimmy's half of the base. The man himself didn't look great either. The dark circles under his eyes and paler than usual skin suggested that he's been missing sleep more often than not. His hair was beginning to grow out, and even with his headband, it was getting difficult to manage. Not to mention his facial hair, which added him a few years. He was so engulfed in frantically noting something down in his journal that he didn't even notice Jimmy walk in. Only when the canary loudly cleared his throat, he lifted his head and slid the book under a pillow.
"I know you don't wanna help around the base, or even do your secret tasks, but... Can you at least clean after yourself, dude?"
"I don't see the problem. All the trash is on my side. I keep your side clean."
"Yeah, but it's not gonna help once this stuff starts rotting, and our whole base will reek of this stuff.
Martyn nodded his head, as if he understood the point, but chose to ignore it. He pulled the blankets tighter over himself and turned away from Jimmy. The canary sighed and put the chest down besides their crafting table.
"The wheat harvest is ready... You want some bread...?"
"Not really. I'm feeling sick as hell."
"I can imagine... When was the last time you moved around a bit?"
Martyn just shot him a sharp glance, then looked away again. He put his head on the windowsill, looking outside with longing in his eyes. He was ready to just wait until Jimmy leaves again, so that he can bury himself in his coping mechanisms again. Even if, in all honesty, they were not making him feel much better. His hand hurt and his eyes stung from the loop of writing and then reading his frantic notes. Attempts to eat away his feelings left him feeling tired and sluggish. Deep down, he longed for the infallible escape of alcohol, which allowed him to just forget about the world crumbling down around him. Alas, his insides were feeling awful as they were, so that would probably make his problems even worse.
Realizing that Jimmy was not leaving anytime soon, Martyn sighed and laid down on the bed. He hugged the journal against his chest, the faint smell of leather soothing his nerves for just a moment. Since he was not going to be alone for the next while, he could just fall asleep, then spend the rest of the night writing, snacking and running away from his feelings and insecurities...
"Mumbo asked about you, dude."
Martyn immediately shot up from his bed, then let out a bitter chuckle.
"Not funny, Timmy."
"I'm not joking. He did."
"...and what did you say?"
"That you're tired and need to rest."
Yet again, Martyn snickered and rolled his eyes.
"And that old excuse is still working?"
Jimmy dropped the wheat he was just putting on the crafting table, then turned to Martyn. His tone suddenly got a lot sharper and commanding.
"Well I hope so, since I've had to cover for your sorry ass for the past week. And all you do is sit here and do nothing! I get it, that death was embarrassing, but you gotta get over it, man! You're not the only yellow on the server anymore!"
"Oh really?" Martyn snarked, then looked down at his wristband. "What other loser turned ye-"
Martyn bit his tongue so hard, a metallic taste of blood entered his mouth. Only then he noticed that there were two yellow names on the player list - his own, and... Jimmy's. He then turned back to his teammate. His fingers began tapping on the cover of the journal in another attempt to soothe himself.
"Oh... What happened...?"
"I was trying to get a trident from a Drowned, and it killed me. You were asleep at the time, I think."
"Yeah... Sorry."
"I'm just-" Jimmy inhaled sharply, then sat down on his own bed. "I know you feel bad. I understand that there's something wrong, but... Sitting here is not gonna solve it, is it...?"
"No... No, probably not."
Martyn looked down at his bed, his safe haven which he refused to leave for the past week or so. All this time, he was fine just rotting away, running away from his feelings and fears and insecurities... And probably being a jerk to Jimmy and everyone else in the process. But, as much as he hated to admit it, maybe there was something to what Jimmy said. That would solve nothing. He took a deep breath, then tossed his blanket aside and got up from his spot, for the first time in a while. He tried to ignore the big, proud smile on Jimmy's face. Seeing him getting excited over something as simple as his friend leaving his comfort spot made him feel awkward.
"Don't look at me like that. It's nothing special."
"Yes it is, dude!"
Martyn groaned as he began to stretch. His muscles and joints grew unaccustomed to moving around, so getting up caused him quite a bit of pain. Not to mention, the leg injury flared up right away. Immediately, the idea of getting out there again became even more daunting, and he fell right back on his bed.
"No, I'm not doing this. This is useless."
"Oh, c'mon, man! You gotta get out eventually!"
"No I don't! I can just stay here, where nobody can kill me!" Martyn let out a nervous laughter "Where no stupid voices whisper into my ear, where my teammates don't hate me! And where-" His breathing hitched for a moment, when he was hit with another painful reminder. He curled up on the bed yet again. Right away, to not lose all the progress, Jimmy approached him.
"Dude... What's happening...?"
"The same thing as always." Martyn grumbled, pulling his knees to his chest. Jimmy tilted his head.
"You... It's about Ren, isn't it?"
"It's always about Ren! And I don't even know why!" He cried out, his voice beginning to tremble. "I don't know why I can't stop thinking about him! When all I did was kill him, then kill him again, then almost kill him, then acted like a jerk and now- He left because he hated me, didn't he? And if so, why can't I just forget about him?!"
Jimmy sat on the bed next to him. This issue was clearly much deeper than he expected. He thought his friend was just being dramatic, or lazy, but... He was actually suffering. The canary wrapped one wing around Martyn's shoulder then waited for a few moments in case he wanted his ally to move away. He didn't.
"I just... I feel like this guy hijacked my brain, to not let me forget about him..."
"Maybe you're just in love with him?"
Martyn chuckled and rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, right. Me, in love? Especially after all that I've done to him? Come on, dude... I just..." He pulled his hands through his messy hair. "It feels like he was the only person who didn't hate me, despite how much I hurt him... And I can't get it, why he didn't hate me..."
Jimmy bit his lip. This was a complex problem, one that he was worried about getting too deep into. He only saw the weird thing Martyn and Ren had for each other from afar, so he didn't want to say something wrong by accident. But whatever was the matter, he could tell there was something between these two. Something special, that seemed to transcend time and space. Even if Martyn didn't know it yet. Or he just claimed he didn't.
"Well..." Jimmy sighed. "I don't hate you."
"Yet."
"Maybe... Regardless, Ren is gone, and we don't know when he's coming back. Or even if . But... Do you think he'd want you to just sit here, not doing anything fun, and drowning in sorrow?"
"No... Probably not. He wouldn't have done that."
"And what would he do...?"
"Probably something dumb..." Martyn chuckled bitterly, wiping the tears that gathered in corners of his eyes. "Like, go out there and mess with people, just for the sake of it..."
"Speaking of..." Jimmy grinned. "There was one more thing I didn't tell you about this game. And I think you're gonna enjoy it."
Martyn's eyes lit up, as he turned to Jimmy.
"Yeah...?"
"But first, get up. Come on, I wanna hear those old bones crack."
"You're literally the worst." Martyn chuckled and rolled his eyes, but finally got up from his bed. The joint pain flared up again, but this time, he didn't get so overwhelmed with it. This was fine. He was going to work through it. One step at a time. Jimmy chuckled, seeing the effort from his friend.
"There we go, see?"
"Don't even mention it, dude..." Martyn rolled his eyes, then fixed up his hoodie. "I feel like a total wreck..."
"I can imagine. I've never seen anyone go through food supplies so fast."
"Well, that's one way to avoid your feelings." Martyn chuckled, then began picking up the leftover food from the floor. "So, uh, what was it that you didn't mention earlier?"
"Come with me, I'll explain it on the way..."
"Aaaand done!" Tango's face lit up as he jumped from the top of his newly constructed chicken farm. His long tail flickered from side to side, as the man looked with pride at the contraption. On the very tip of it, he was holding a torch, with a bright red flame shining gently. "Now we'll have chicken for days! How do you like it, Torchy?"
"You done, Top?" Skizz asked, poking his head out of the window of the Heart Foundation's headquarters - a big heart-shaped building, raised from the ground by several feet.
"Yeah! Behold, the chickenificator 3000!" He smirked brightly, then slid his heart-shaped glasses lower on his nose. "A true redstone innovation, from the greatest redstoner on the server! And his greatest assistant, Torchy!"
"Yeah, I know, we're so lucky to have you." Skizz chuckled and rolled his eyes in an amused manner. He then looked up, and his wings puffed up immediately. "Someone's coming!"
"Who?" Tango turned towards the bridge, which connected their island with the mainland.
"Hold on... It's Jiggles, and... Martyn? That's new..."
"Oi! The two of you, stop right there!" Martyn called out from afar. The two Heart Foundation members looked at each other, then back at them.
"Hey Martyn! It's been a while, huh?" Skizz chuckled. "You wanna talk?"
"Actually, yes I do!" Martyn nodded, crossing his arms on his chest. "Have any of you finished your task?"
"Uh... I'm not done with mine." Tango admitted, moving Torchy to his hands.
"I already failed mine!" Skizz said with more pride in his voice than one would expect from the context.
"Well well well..." Martyn smirked, then approached the blazeborn. "I don't know if you know, but... As a yellow, I can try to guess your task... And if I guess correctly, that means you've failed your task!"
Tango gulped at the idea.
"Y-yeah... I'm aware..."
"Brilliant!" Martyn smirked. Deep down, he was relieved that Jimmy didn't just make this rule up on the go, because then, the whole interaction would've become quite awkward. "That means I can guess your task!"
"Well good luck!" Tango chuckled. "Torchy and I have been very busy building a chickenificator together! We've been nice the whole day!"
Martyn squinted. Torchy... He didn't know anyone on the server named that. Not to mention, the torch he was holding so tightly in his hands...
"A chickenificator, hm?"
"Yeah! Here, look!" Tango moved the torch from his hands to his tail again, then approached the new structure. "It's gonna provide the whole Heart Foundation with tons of freshly cooked chicken! You want some?"
"Uh... No, thanks. I think I need to lay it off for now." Martyn chuckled, but took a few steps towards Tango. "And you built it all by yourself?"
"Yeah, we did!"
"We?"
With one quick swoop, Martyn pulled the torch from Tango's grasp. The blazeborn let out a startled squeal and reached out to grab it.
"Hey! Give him back!"
"Him?"
"Uhh, I mean..."
"I see it now!" Martyn's face lit up with a cheeky grin. "Tango! Is your task to pretend that you have an imaginary friend? And that friend was Torchy?!"
Tango's face went completely white at the realization, and Skizz began to laugh. The blazeborn opened his mouth, but then gasped when Martyn dropped Torchy on the ground and extinguished the flame with a stomp.
"Noooo! Torchy!"
"Ha! That's a success for the Task force!" Martyn laughed, then high fived Jimmy, who was standing right behind him. The canary was not as enthusiastic about seeing his soulmate so distraught, but at least his ally was feeling better. "Looks like someone just failed, Tango! Oops!"
"You'll pay for it! I'll avenge you, Torchy!" Tango cried, his tail flickering quickly from side to side.
"Ha, I'd like to see you try! C'mon Jim, let's get some more guesses on these fools!"
Martyn left the island quickly, his usual charisma returning immediately. Jimmy looked after him, but then crouched in front of Tango and gently ruffled his hair.
"Hey... You okay, rancher...?"
"He killed Torchy... Why didn't you stop him...?"
Jimmy picked up the extinguished torch. He then pulled out a flint and steel, then after a few tries lit up the torch anew. He handed it to Tango with a warm smile.
"Sorry... I just needed to make him feel better. I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"You better..." Tango mumbled, but hugged the torch, at least as much as he could. "Thanks, rancher."
"No problem."
Jimmy sighed, looking after Martyn who was already on his way to question another player. He took a deep breath. As long as this worked... He was ready to put up with his attitude for just a bit more.
Notes:
I'll be honest, this one was a struggle to write, and I hope it doesn't show all that much ^^ I like this fic, but it's not easy to write. Not to mention, writing this on top of another fic, and having two more AUs in the back... It's a lot lol
Chapter 40: The two primal fears
Summary:
TW: Lengthy descriptions that could trigger basophobia (fear of heights), and shorter ones that could trigger scopophobia (fear of being watched) and trypophobia.
Martyn finally remembers why he's so afraid of falling, and being watched.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Turns out, ruining someone's hard work with a correct task guess was just what Martyn needed.
Ever since he figured out the identity of the illusive Torchy, it really seemed that Martyn was back to his old cocky, mischievous self. His issues with finishing his tasks - or rather the complete inability to do so - was not yet, but that meant he had nothing better to do than follow people around and try to ruin their day. Even if he failed to guess people's tasks time and time again, many players were getting tired of him just bothering them for no apparent reason. Some of them were excited to see Martyn back in full swing, like Jimmy. However, the vast majority was already getting fed up with him, and silently wished he would go back to his base in the mesa biome to continue wallowing in sorrow. Martyn himself used his newfound strength to push all his doubts and difficult feelings aside and revel in the powerful feeling of being an annoying little gremlin to everyone around them.
"Really? Out of everyone, you want to get Scott?" Jimmy asked with hesitation, as the two of them headed up the stairs towards the cherry blossom mountain. "We both know he's too smart to let us just figure it out like that-"
"Oh, c'mon! I bet if I ask nicely, he's just gonna tell me! He still goes crazy about me." Martyn grinned, then stopped on the stairs to allow his ally to catch up. It was almost as if he didn't remember what Scott told him during the first day of this game. Or he just wanted a reminder.
"Yeah, he definitely does..."
"And even if he doesn't, you're here as a backup!"
Jimmy shut his lips into a tight line, even more unconvinced by the idea. His relationship with Scott was already getting rocky, and if he saw that his two exes were allies, he could get even more upset with both of them. And that was something Jimmy really wanted to avoid.
"You sure about this...?"
"Yeah! C'mon, it's gonna be fun!" Martyn chuckled, then approached the gate leading into the enclosed summit of the mountain and kicked it open."Task force! Hand over your tasks, right now!"
"Oh, it's him..." Scott's voice immediately reached Martyn, but the blond man immediately buried his sour tone deep in the back of his mind.
Together with Impulse and Gem, they were sitting around an unlit campfire in the middle of their base. Right away, Martyn picked up on their matching looks. Similar flashy outfits, reminiscent of some sort of rock band with tons of glitter and sequins. On top of that, similar face markings and make up, mostly in green, yellow and blue. He almost gasped when he saw Scott, his ex ally, in a white tank top, translucent blue shirt, and with face paint that was reminiscent of tears streaking down his face. Together with this sour, unimpressed expression on his face, Martyn felt his heart pound a bit harder for just a brief moment.
"Hi there!" Impulse waved at them, although with not much enthusiasm. "You, uh, need something!"
"We do, in fact! Have you finished your tasks yet?"
All three players looked at each other. Impulse and Scott immediately shook their heads in reply, while Gem remained unmoving. Martyn immediately picked up on that and approached her.
"How about you, hm? Finished already?"
"Yes." She whispered, although with not much conviction. Impulse and Scott exchanged glances yet again, but stayed silent. Martyn rested his leg on the log Gem was sitting on, most likely not picking up on how she moved away.
"Have you? You don't seem too sure... Maybe you want me to guess?"
"C'mon, try it." Gem muttered, her tone a bit more annoyed than she probably intended.
"Martyn, leave her alone." Scott shot him an angry glance. "You're not getting any of our tasks."
"We'll see about that!" Martyn smirked, then looked up and down at Gem. He could pick up on her nervousness, and how carefully she weighed her words. Almost as if she knew something she wasn't allowed to say. Something connected to her task, most likely. "I'll figure it out eventually, hmmm... It was you who opened the End portal yesterday, right? Maybe-"
"It wasn't me."
Martyn raised his eyebrows in surprise. He could still remember the unexpected message on the communicator chat yesterday, stating that the portal has been opened (he wasn't even aware of its existence prior to that). He either misremembered the message, or...
"No, it was you!" Martyn looked down at his wristband and scrolled back to yesterday's message. "Now that's curious... Why would you lie about it?"
"Martyn, lay it off." Scott growled, while Impulse put a hand on his shoulder in a reassuring gesture.
"Excuse me, we're talking! And Gem doesn't mind it, do you Gem?"
"...I don't."
At the same moment, the woman looked up at her teammates with an almost pleading expression. Scott scrunched his nose, not sure how to interpret her strange behavior. It was clear as day that she was uncomfortable, maybe even scared... But she didn't want Martyn to leave? Scott looked up and down at her, before he noticed that she was silently tapping her secret task book with one finger.
Oh.
Scott almost gasped when he realized what was going on. Gem did wanted him gone, but she couldn't voice it for some reason. And that reason had to be her secret task, whatever that encompassed. And with Martyn's ability to guess her task if she slipped up, she was in actual, real danger. and Martyn probably wasn't even fully aware of how bad the situation was. Scott nudged Impulse in the arm, then got up from his spot.
"Martyn, leave. You're not gaining anything by being here. Go do your own task for once."
"Oh, I wish I could, but the ones running this game realized I was too powerful and nerfed me" He admitted, pulling on his eyelid and sticking out his tongue. "So I'm doing the next best thing."
"Which is? Ruining everyone's day?"
"You can call it that if you want to," Martyn shrugged. Scott turned to Jimmy and shot him a deadpanned glance, despite the canary not getting involved just yet.
"Why are you sticking with him?"
"Someone has to!"
"We asked you to join us, Jimmy!"
"You did?" Martyn opened his eyes a bit wider. Then, the biggest cheeky grin appeared on his face. "See? Your ex chose me over you!"
Scott bit his tongue. He really wanted to bark right back at him, but he had to keep calm. It wasn't about him. It was about keeping Gem and her task safe. He turned to her once again, but then nodded that the woman got up from her spot and headed towards her cottage.
"Oi! I'm not done with you!" Martyn called out and ran after her. "Where you're going?!"
"Nowhere, I'm staying right there with you." She just shot back, although she didn't even turn around to face him again.
"Oh really? Can't really tell that you do!"
"Martyn..." Scott clenched his fists.
"Oh stop it, I'm not doing anything wrong! It's all within the rules, right?" Martyn grinned, nonchalantly hiding his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. "You can't be mad at me for following the rules!"
"You're making her uncomfortable."
"Scott, we're stuck in a literal death game led by some sort of deities! Nobody is comfortable here! Don't act like you are!"
"What the hell is he talking about...?" Impulse asked quietly, getting more and more confused by Martyn's behavior.
"I wish I knew..." Jimmy sighed, covering his mouth with his fist and looking away. He couldn't bear to see how Scott approached Martyn, almost yelling.
"I told you to not come here, anyway! You already hurt me and my teammates during the last game! Haven't you had enough?!"
"Hey, Gem wasn't around last time!"
"I was-" Gem suddenly added, making everyone turn to her. Her face went white and right away, she turned around to leave again.
"What do you mean? You weren't! If you were, I would've made sure you got eliminated!" Martyn grinned, his expression darkening despite his bright, almost sadistic smile.
"Alright, that's enough."
Without a warning, Impulse approached Martyn and lifted him effortlessly from the ground. The blond man let out a muffled scream, then began wriggling out of his grasp.
"Hey! What are you d-Let me go!"
"Sorry dude, you need to wind down a little" Impulse said in a surprisingly calm tone. Martyn's attempt to free himself did not disturb him much, as he headed towards a long, wooden jumping board, sticking out of the side of the mountain. It took Martyn a moment to realize what the other player was planning, but the moment he did, his stomach dropped.
"No, no no no- Impulse, no, stop it, don't do it! You can't- Impulse! Jimmy, help!"
Jimmy reached out his hand, but all it took was once a disapproving glance from Impulse for him to step back. Only then, seeing his ex ally fight back in fear, Scott remembered why he seemed so fearful.
It wasn't the long drop down.
"You'll be fine, buddy. You just need a cold bath to calm down."
It was what was waiting for him at the bottom.
"Scott! Shit- Scott, tell him to stop!"
Scott froze in fear. He remembered how apprehensive of water Martyn was - he couldn't forget how he ended up learning that the guy cannot swim to save his life. He should probably tell Impulse to stop... But on the other hand, he was getting really fed up with Martyn's antics. Enough to allow his ally to throw him tens of feet down into a cold lake, most likely drowning him, causing him immense trauma, or both? He opened his mouth, but no sound came out as the two forces fought within his mind - one worried for Martyn's safety, the other glad to see the guy learn a lesson.
"Impulse, wait-"
"Byeee!" Impulse lifted the wriggling, screaming player in his arms, then dropped him down from the jumpboard. Martyn attempted one last time to catch himself, before he plunged down the mountain, straight into the cold, calm, but unforgiving depths of the lake below.
"Jimmy!" He called out, in vain of being saved by the only person who still wanted to put up with him.
"Uh, guys... Martyn can't swim."
Impulse, Jimmy and Gem immediately looked at the blue-haired man, all of them shocked at the revelation.
"He- What?!" Jimmy yelled "Why didn't you say so earlier?"
"Oops..." Impulse chuckled nervously. "He'll be fine... Right? I didn't just fail my task?"
They say that humans are born with two fears - of loud noises and falling. For Martyn, the second one was something that never went away.
The excruciating sensation of watching the summit and the players get smaller and smaller, as he plummeted down closer and closer towards the freezing cold water made his heart stop for a moment. It was more than just instincts. For him, it was like a primal feeling, the very core of his being. Whenever he reached back in his memory to times before the games, he could only remember falling. Every time he tried to fall asleep and was hit with this strange feeling reminiscent of falling, he jolted up in cold sweat. It was much more than just a bad case of basophobia. The idea of falling endlessly was like kryptonite to his very soul, something that made him stop feeling like himself, and reduced him to a fearful, trembling husk. And no matter the amount of bravado he put on, that was something that was never going to go away.
He did tell a few people about his other flaws. His inability to swim, his tendency to overthink, his stubbornness and love for inconveniencing others.
But that was something he swore he would never let anyone know.
The moment he hit the still, serene surface of the lake below, the cold water enveloped him and forced air straight out of his lungs. His whole body froze in fear, unable to fight for survival. He shut his eyes closed, silently praying for death to claim him swiftly. Martyn shut his mouth closed, fighting with the urge to let the water break into his lungs. That would be a painful way to go, but not one he didn't deserve. He couldn't even tell if it was just the chill water getting into his eyes, or did he actually get teary-eyed. Either way, his vision was beginning to go dark, and the feeling of his soul getting ripped from his body was even more pronounced than in any of his previous deaths.
"No. Not yet."
To his own surprise, Martyn woke up not too long later. He was laying with his back on the sand of a small beach, just on the shore of the lake. His lungs and eyes stung from the painfully cold water, and he was shivering. Right away, he began coughing and curled up on the ground, struggling to catch his breath. The moment he accidentally caught the sight of his wristband and noticed that it didn't change its color to red, it was like an alarm going off in his head.
"Why... Why didn't I die...?"
After a few more minutes of coughing, gasping for air and puking water, Martyn finally pulled himself up from the sand. He was completely soaked and probably on the verge of catching a cold. His heart was still racing from the terrifying experience of falling, and then drowning - or what was supposed to be drowning. The man took a few shaky steps forward, not sure where to head now. His head was spinning, he wasn't even sure where his base was. He just knew it was a long, long walk.
Just moments after getting out of the small, hidden beach, Martyn noticed someone sitting on the edge of the lake, peacefully fishing. Despite the haze that his brain was submerged in, he immediately picked up on the tall, slim silhouette, dark hair and calm, amber eyes. He mustered a small, shy smile, then took a step towards him.
"Hey, Mumbo..."
The other player flinched, then turned towards him. He looked at Martyn, then stared at his surroundings for a moment, as if expecting someone else to join him. When nobody else appeared, Mumbo suddenly jolted up with a terrified scream and ran in the opposite direction to where Martyn was standing. He even dropped his fishing rod, and it slipped right into the lake.
"W-what? No, Mumbo, wait!" Martyn wanted to run after him, but his whole body was too exhausted and pained to let him do that. He took a few quick steps, but after what he's been through, he was already exhausted. "Mumbo, stop! Please! I- I just wanna talk! I'm sorry about everything, okay? I fucked up! I'm sorry!"
Mumbo heard that, even though he wished he didn't. He really, really wanted to stop, turn around and talk to Martyn. His heart ached for him to turn around, to reassure Martyn that it was fine, that they could talk, maybe even work things out- But the secret task book, that he carried attached to his belt, was clear.
You are now terrified of 1 on 1 conversations. If you are in a conversation with just 1 person, you must flee in active terror.
As if whoever wrote his task knew that this was going to happen.
The one thing that was good about Martyn ending up soaking wet was that it was harder to tell that he was crying.
After Mumbo fled from him like he was the sign of an upcoming apocalypse, Martyn slowly headed towards his base. He hung his head low, water and tears dripping down his face. His whole body ached, he pulled his legs on the ground, too exhausted to walk properly. Mumbo hated him. Scott hated him, and so did Impulse and Gem. Jimmy probably also hated him, since he didn't even bother to check on his ally after he was thrown down into the lake. Did he have someone who didn't hate him? He did , but that person wasn't around. And there was a real chance he was never coming back. Martyn wiped his face, but his eyes got wet again. He just wished he could be back at his place already, to hide in his bed again, to never come out again, this time for real-
"Hey Martyn!"
The man flinched upon his name being called out. Especially when the tone didn't sound particularly angry or annoyed with him. He turned around and immediately spotted Bdubs, Pearl and Lizzie heading his way. Pearl did not seem very pleased to see him, but the other two players were... Smiling? That was a rare sight.
"Hi...?"
"We're gonna kill the Ender dragon! Wanna come with us?"
Martyn wanted to say no immediately, but for some reason, the idea immediately appealed to him. He would be surrounded to people who mostly didn't hate him, and he could get his mind off his current worries... Not to mention, he needed to stretch his legs a bit after spending a week straight in his bed. Despite how exhausted and drenched he was, he somehow didn't hate the idea.
"Sounds fun, but I don't really have any equipment..."
"That's fine, we'll get you some! We just need more people to handle the Endermen and the dragon!"
Martyn looked at them for a moment, a strange sense of warmth spreading through his chest. They... Need him? And were even willing to help? Even though his body begged him to head back into safety, he immediately shook his head.
"Hell yeah, I'm in!"
The equipment was prepared, ready to take on the biggest threat of this server.
The portal had already been opened the day prior.
The four brave adventurers were ready to take on the dragon-
"Martyn!-"
The moment Martyn crossed the portal, the dizziness returned. His whole body jolted with pain so strong, it couldn't be just an accident. All it took was one wrong step in a pain induced confusion, and all of a sudden, he was back to plummeting down into the unknown.
But this time, there was no freezing cold lake waiting for him at the bottom.
Just seconds after slipping from the obsidian platform that the players spawned on, Martyn already knew what was coming. The strong sensation of basophobia returned, making his whole body go numb. Again, he saw his friends and the whole End island getting smaller and smaller, farther and farther away. His organs twisted inside of him in the most primal of fears. He wanted to reach out, but his own hands felt unresponsive. Cold. Ready to be claimed by the endless void in the bellows of the world.
How was he going to die, if there was nothing he could crash into?
Martyn wanted to close his eyes and claim his fate, but there was something preventing him from doing so. Something even more ingrained in his psyche, even more primal and impossible to explain without actually feeling it. As the land disappeared from his eyes and he was surrounded by the everpresent darkness of the void, he picked up on something else.
Eyes.
So. Many. Eyes.
Tens of hundreds of thousands of eyes. All staring right at him, as he fell endlessly through the void. All filled with curiosity, and hate, and amusement at his weak constitution, his broken psyche, his feeble, mortal life.
"Do you remember this, Mars?"
Martyn opened his mouth, but no sound came out. A freezing feeling overcame his body, one even stronger than what he felt in the depth of the lake. His deep rooted scopophobia, fear of being watched, was in full swing.
Especially since now, he knew exactly who was watching him. And why.
The feeling of his soul getting ripped from his body was stronger than ever. It was like his being clung to his mortal coil with the last of its strength, but still unable to resist the everpresent, everwatching presence of the Watchers. They knew of him. He knew of them. The moment the void ripped Martyn's soul from his shell, it was like something unlocked in his brain.
He saw it all, all at once.
All the times he beheaded Ren. The times when he refused, when he ran away, when he failed and had to overcorrect. And the one time he did his job way too well.
All the times he joined the Shadow alliance, abandoning the people that called him their friend.
All the times he pushed away his soulmate for the one he wanted to call that instead.
All the times the Coral islands were inhabited by three, not by two.
All the times he had someone follow him around and aid him with every task, somehow knowing about all them.
All the times he sat with Ren under tall, looming trees, watching the stars together.
All the times he laid down his life, and perished in the arms of his beloved.
And all the times he saw a strange, unexplainable monster, made of who he and Ren were, but somehow completely foreign.
And then-
He saw him .
He could swear he saw someone between all the millions and billions of eyes. Someone small, curled up, shackled. Someone whose dog-like tail stopped wagging, whose ears dropped hopelessly low. Someone he knew all too well, despite feeling like he just met him.
Ren...? He mouthed silently, the words yet again unable to slip his throat.
Inthelittlewood fell out of the world.
Notes:
I'll be honest, at first I dreaded this chapter... But I feel like I kinda cooked? Please let me know what you think, your comments help a LOT and I feel like the engagement on this fic is a bit slow lately ^^"
Chapter 41: INTERMISSION: The one who's seen it all
Summary:
Still stuck in the void, Ren starts coming to realizations he wishes he never came to.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Inthelittlewood fell out of the world.
"Oh! Guys! We have our first red on the server!" Grian called out to his newfound allies. He sounded maybe a bit too excited at the prospect of another player getting close to elimination. Cleo perked out of their storage room and furrowed their brows.
"Who is it?"
"Martyn, believe it or not! He must've fallen into the void in the End... I knew it was a bad idea to go with Bdubs there!"
Cleo flinched at his confirmation. It really seemed unlike Martyn to die in such a way... Getting killed by the dragon, sure, by falling into the void? He was the guy who at least half of the server actively wanted to kill, and he turned red just like that? There was something that wasn't adding up.
"That's... Weird." She admitted quietly, but returned to sorting through their chests. "Out of everyone here, I can't imagine him dying in such a stupid way."
"Well, he did..." Grian shrugged and leaned against the wall, eyeing Cleo with a smug smile plastered on his face. "If we're lucky, maybe he'll be the first one out..."
"Don't talk about him like that. He won't."
Grian raised an eyebrow. He knew Martyn had a few apologists, but he didn't expect Cleo to be one of them.
"I thought you hated his guts...?"
"I do. But I also know him. There's something wrong. I feel it, and I know you feel it as well."
The parrot opened his mouth, but his voice got stuck in the back of his throat. The familiar feeling of squirming under his skin returned, but not as strongly as during the last game. He shook his head and covered one eye with one of his lesser wings.
"This guy is just a freak. We both know that."
Cleo glanced at her ally, her expression tense and bitter. This probably wouldn't be as frustrating if Grian was truly clueless about Martyn's state - but she knew that he knew. He just really wanted him to suffer, didn't he? True, the guy acted like a jerk most of the time, but Cleo could tell there was something off about his behavior. As if he was putting on a mask that he wasn;t even fully aware of.
"I... I guess."
Grian smirked under his breath. He shook his wings to get rid of the squirming feeling in his spine.
"If you need me, I'll go harvest the sugarcane. We gotta finish the enchanter room."
"Yeah, good call."
The avian left the base and stretched out his clipped wings, basking in the afternoon sun. The day was hot and a bit windy, brewing into a perfect mixture of pleasant summer weather. On days like these, he wished he could regain his ability to fly and attempt to get as close to the warm, welcoming sun as he could. Well, even if he couldn't - he had new allies, a new base, his task was done and dusted... He just had to harvest the sugarcane, and afterwards, he couldn't wait to lay down on the soft grass in their front lawn, to-
"GRIAAAAAN!"
Before he could even understand what was going on, someone tackled Grian to the ground. The avian groaned in pain, the hit forcing the air out of his lungs. He covered his face with his lesser wings and arms, but he still saw enough to recognize the aggressor through his disheveled look and murder in his eyes.
"What the hell, Matryn? Get off me!"
"You knew! You knew all along! Where's Ren?! I know you know!"
Martyn grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. Grian grunted with frustration and smacked him in the face with his wings, attempting to push the man off himself. When that didn't help, Grian attempted to wriggle from under him, only to get slapped by Martyn.
"How long has this been going on?! How many times did we have to kill each other to end up like this?!"
"Get off me, damnit!"
"Then answer me!"
"I don't know either!"
"What do you mean?" Martyn huffed, his breathing strained. He looked like he ran from spawn all the way to Grian's base. "You run these games! And I know you're a Watcher!"
No longer so clueless , Grian thought. This is gonna get interesting.
"I do! But Ren hijacked them, I don't even know how! I didn't know about this until Double Life! He's... I don't know what he is at this point, but it's not my fault all of this is happening!"
"You're lying."
"I'm not! Ask him!"
"Then where is h-" Martyn froze in place, then looked down at Grian. "You do know where he is."
"I did it for everyone's safety. Including yours."
Seeing how conflicted and confused that statement made Martyn feel, Grian felt this was the perfect moment to make his escape. Again, he slapped the blond man with both his wings at once, then knocked him off himself. He then sprinted straight back to their base, to hide from the other player's rage.
"Come back here, you bastard!"
Martyn ran after him, but lost the track of Grian right after entering the base. He stood in the entrance, breathing heavily and watching the inside like a predator, looking for his prey. But he didn't stop the avian. Instead, he noticed Cleo, who just left the storage room. The two soulmates' stares met and locked for a few silent seconds.
Cleo could tell there was something off about Martyn. He looked like a mess, even more so than usual. His long, tangled hair covered his now red-tinted eyes, and his overgrown facial hair gave him a scruffy look. Without his hoodie on, it was even more visible how much his silhouette softened. However, the moment he noticed his soulmate, his anger quelled.
"Where is he...?"
"Give it a rest, Martyn. You know how G is."
"I... I do know, unfortunately. Just so you know... I will kill him the next time I see him."
The zombie chuckled with clear amusement.
"I am aware of that."
Martyn turned around to leave, but then a notification went off on his wristband. He flinched, then looked down at the chat.
Solidarity was killed by Ender Dragon.
"Jimmy!- Dang it!" The blond man groaned and pulled his hands over his face. "This guy..."
"Hey, don't complain. He's only the second red."
Martyn clenched his teeth at the remark, but he couldn't deny that Cleo was right.
"I'll... I'll be back. After I deal with him."
"Good luck, then."
At this point, Ren was beyond losing the track of time. The prolonged imprisonment in the endless void made him question whether time was still a thing. He no longer even felt his body, as if he got reduced to pure consciousness, ebbing and flowing in the nonexistent waves of the abyss. Due to the metal plate around his head, he couldn't stare at the empty vastness around him - but somehow, he still saw it under his eyelids. The complete stillness and lack of sensory input was driving him crazy at this point, but eventually, his body just gave up and reduced his experience to purely existing, as if endlessly waiting for something, anything to happen.
At some point, he could swear that something did happen. Something moved in the fabric of the void. He couldn't tell how close it was, but he could feel it on his skin. It was similar to ripples on the water - with enough distance, they crossed the endless abyss and left the tiniest tinge of sensation on his body. For just a second, that reminded him that he still had a body - as the void rot that consumed his back flared up in pain, only to die down just as soon as it appeared.
But at that point, Ren was ready to write the whole thing off as unreal.
The longer he was trapped with his own thoughts, the more his mind wandered into places he wished it never did. After so many failed loops, there were a few ideas and thoughts he forbade himself from thinking about. But now, completely stuck, endless and at the mercy of his racing mind, he finally went there, and he started asking questions he tried to avoid.
Was it worth it?
Right away, he wanted to argue that yes, it was - he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs that he did it, and that he would do it over and over and over again, if that meant seeing Martyn safe and sound. But was he...? Ren had to leave him there all on his own, only knowing the tiniest details of what was happening to his lover. But even when he was around... He saw Martyn getting hurt so many times. From the hands of others, and from his own. And each time, it broke his heart into more and more pieces. To him, Martyn's smile felt like the warmest rays of sunshine, tickling his skin. Like the softest grass and the most beautiful flowers on a spring meadow. Like running through the woods in fall, the leaves crunching under his paws in a satisfying manner, the scent of the forest filling his lungs.
But what if none of it was even real?
That was the other biggest fear that Ren had. Unarguably, this one was way worse, and he pushed it away for as long as he could - until he couldn't no more. The more the scenarios of the previous loops replayed in his head, the more he started noticing patterns. Repeating events, not all of them by his initiative. Even some things that the other players said to him repeated throughout all the loops. And the more he thought about it, the more a grueling realization came into his mind. All the others seemed so clueless about their position, their role and their fate...
What if they were not real people? What if, from the very beginning, this whole game was some kind of prison, doomed to repeat over and over again, and ultimately drive Ren crazy? What if they were only driven by some divine algorithm, made to serve a role, get wiped clean, and then repeat their actions as if this was still the first time around? And if so... Did that mean that Martyn was also never real?
The first time this thought rang in Ren's head, his whole body tensed and he felt like he wanted to throw up. It couldn't be true, right? He didn't just waste his life, did cause himself lifelong damage and ruined his own mental state over someone who wasn't even real? Martyn was real - he had to be. That smirk, that bright, albeit rare shine in his eyes, that warmth that radiated from him - it all had to be real. He couldn't be just a string of code, made to lure, trap and destroy him, right? All the times he touched him, kissed him, told him how much he loved him - it had to be real.
Right...?
"Ren."
The voice was soft and quiet, but to Ren, it was as if an atomic bomb went off right over his head. He flinched, all his muscles suddenly tensing as they willed into existence. It took him a moment to recognize who that was. Immediately, he hated himself for beginning to question if he was real as well.
<Rendog> What do you want, G
"I don't know what happened, man, but... Martyn knows."
Ren shivered. Even hearing that name made him feel warmth in his chest... But immediately, the warmth burned into a hollow, rotting feeling, as the doubts returned.
<Rendog> Knows what
"Knows about what you've done. You know, the loop. And-" Grian added quickly, before Ren could even argue back "Don't blame me, I didn't tell him anything. He died by falling into the void, and minutes later he was over at my place, trying to beat the shit out of me."
Uranus' head pounded with pain as all the pieces of the puzzle struggled to fall into place. Realness of the whole situation aside, this was something that never occurred before. There were times in the previous when he attempted to explain to Martyn what's been going on, but the man struggled with comprehending the idea of being stuck in an endless loop of repeating death games. And Ren couldn't blame him, since he kept no memories of the previous events...
Or because he wasn't actually real. Just an algorithm, made to break Ren.
But this time it was different. Martyn somehow learned about the truth about the games, while Ren wasn't even around. And for the first time in a tens of loops, the dog truly didn't know how to react to something that new.
<Rendog> Did you tell him anything else?
"No. I mean, he guessed that I know where you are, but overall, he's still clueless."
<Rendog> ...how is he doing?
Grian shut his mouth and puffed his cheeks, thinking over his response for a moment. He wasn't against telling Ren the truth, but he also didn't want to freak him out. Even when trapped, he couldn't be sure that Ren didn't have some kind of ace up his sleeve. It really did seem like he had the other Watchers twisted around his finger, or at least he posed like he did.
"Rough, I guess. Looks like he hasn't showered in a while. Gained a few pounds or so. Jumping from crisis to crisis. Jimmy teamed up with him, gods know why. I almost feel bad for him. For Jimmy, I mean."
Ren hung his head low. His head was getting too loud again, and after such a long time spent in complete silence, it was getting exhausting. He was constantly flip flopping between worrying for Martyn, and considering that his lover was actually never real. He wanted to see him again, craved the closure that he provided... But the idea of all of it being fake plagued his head, and made him want to just puff into nothingness. Only then, the realization started cementing itself in his head. He either wasted his life chasing after something that was made to destroy him, or forced his friends and his partner into an unending cycle of killing one another. And at that point, he wasn't even sure which was worse.
Grian picked up on how mentally and physically drained Ren was. He couldn't see the whole area covered by void rot, but he could see that it already crept to his arms, neck and even jawline. Getting him back into the games was risky, as he didn't know what was coming, and Ren would probably never tell him... But if he left him there for much longer, Ren could eventually succumb to the rot and in due time, all that would be left of him was an abyss-ridden husk. He sighed, then folded his lesser wings and uncovered his eyes.
"I'll free you in the next game. But no funny business. I'm only doing this so that you don't die here. Y'hear?"
But Ren didn't answer. Grian could tell that he was still alive - his breathing was slow and shallow, but he did breathe. He was probably just too lost in his own mind to reply. Eventually, the Watcher sighed.
"Okay, I'll see you around the-"
<Rendog> Don't try to stop me.
<Rendog> You don't understand anything.
"And you're still at it? You-" Grian groaned in frustration, then turned away. "Whatever. You should be happy I'm not letting you wither away here. So you better be nice in the next game. I already need to fix all the damage you did to the server."
<Rendog> You're welcome
The avian sighed, but didn't respond. Ren couldn't even tell when he left, as there was no sign of anyone's presence anymore. Uranus curled up, hugging his knees against his chest before his body was doomed to lose any sense of physicality again. All he knew was that he was left all alone again. Just him, his heavy chains, and the everpresent dread all of this was not worth it, after all.
Notes:
Just a heads up to y'all, there might be less updates in the coming week, for 2 reasons - 1. I'm back home and want to spend Easter with my family, 2. I need to catch up on some other projects. I'll try to still post updates every now and then, but just so you know.
Chapter 42: Heavy is the head that knows
Summary:
Martyn slowly realizes how much he was blind to in all the past loops. Someone joins him to help him get through his, but he doesn't turn out to be too helpful.
Notes:
So uh, a lot of happened while I was away! I had fun spending Easter with my family, the pope died? Also as I was writing this, a garbage container started burning right outside of my dorm. Fun. Still, I hope you enjoy this one :3
Oh also I just remembered to add this! During the Easter break I played In Stars And Time and uh. I think I understand why you guys get so emotional ober this fic now. Doesn't mean I'm sorry lol. BUT THIS GAME IS SO GOOD PLEASE PLAY IT PLS PLS PLS
Chapter Text
The next few days could not go any slower for Martyn.
Right after respawning after his long, grueling death in the void, he ran over to find Grian. As the realization of his newfound memories settled, all he wished to do was break all of his bones. The runner of the games, the one who trapped all of them to be the Watchers' toys... Whenever he thought of the name of the deities, his stomach turned and his throat felt dry. Each time the realization of what he was forced to go through hit him again, he felt as if his heart was going to give out. No wonder Grian was so nonchalant about everything, acting as if it was all just a game... Because it was, at least to him. As if he didn't care about the lives of the other players... As if they really were just puppets for him to throw at a wall and see how they fall and break.
And he even tried to pin the blame on Ren... Poor, sweet Ren, the only guy who still had any patience for Martyn... Now, he wanted even more badly to destroy Grian, to make him feel all the pain he went through. He didn't feel all of this physically, but whenever he tried to reach back with his memory, all he could remember was pain. Looping moments, each more painful than the last. The beheading, the betrayal of his friends, the heartbreak with his soulmate... Even things he would never imagine could happen. He actually could recall times when Ren was there for him during the last game. And this one. He couldn't tell exactly which memory belonged to which loop, but aside from this one, he couldn't recall a moment when Ren wasn't beside him. Always there to uplift him, or challenge him, or support him, or to just show the affection Martyn desperately needed... No, Grian had to bluff back then. Ren would have no reason to do that, right? Maybe aside from a few moments, it was always when Martyn was with him, when everything was beginning to look up... Even when the whole server hated him, Ren was always there, he always had his back. Even now, when he was gone, all Martyn could think about is how much he craved a bit of affection from the only man who tolerated his existence. Ren would never do something like that to harm him, right...?
Once Martyn returned to his base, he shut the doors behind him and buried himself under his blanket. Even when Jimmy returned, he didn't even talk to him. All he could do is hide in his memories, try to put them together into something cohesive and not think about how bad it hurt... To think about everything that happened. About how Grian hurt him, hurt all of them... And how he desperately didn't want to believe that it was actually Ren's doing.
But what if it was...?
"Martyn?"
As his knowledge and memory of the Watchers returned, he started looking for any answers that would hopefully quell his racing mind. Ren had no prior connection to the Watchers, but establishing one wouldn't be all too hard to do... And there was one thing that he couldn't deny Ren. In every game, he did act like he knew exactly what was going to transpire. The beheading, establishing the Shadow alliance... The fact that he knew Martyn's soulmate, even before Martyn found out...
"Martyn...? You there?"
He tried recalling anything that would betray Ren, aside from his strange knowledge about things he shouldn't know about. It didn't prove anything, right? Maybe he just, for whatever, recalled the previous loops? Him and Grian... Well, he had no proof that Grian did, and even the avian tried to convince him that he didn't, but he had to have been lying, right?
"Martyn, I'm worried..."
But Ren had no solid motive, did he? Why would he even do that? To keep replaying the games? There was no way anyone had enough fun to want to repeat this merciless circle of killing over, and over, and over again... But why else would Ren, or anyone else for that matter, want that? With Grian, it was easy - as a Watcher, he wanted the same thing the Watchers did. Information. It was something that Martyn wasn't exactly safe with sharing, but he knew the Watchers' motives, at least more or less. And the looping would help tremendously with that... Especially since not every loop went exactly the same.
"Martyn, I'm going out. Grian and Etho called us to spawn to show us something... You'll be fine, right?"
He could recall himself dying prematurely every single time. Dying during the siege of Dogwarts, while facing off against Scott, when his own hubris got him and Cleo killed at once... His deaths during Limited Life were the most vivid, probably because it was the most recent game. As far as he could reach back, he got killed protecting Ren every. Single. Time. Unless he was missing something, the last time was actually the first time he won that game... Or any of them, for that matter. Was that only because Ren wasn't around? Or because he gave up on any kindness and patience left in him, and mercilessly killed the only other man that trusted him. Until he was left completely alone, with nobody to fall back on.
Solidarity was obliterated by a sonically-charged shriek.
The more Martyn thought of the possibility of Ren standing behind all of this, the more hopeless he was beginning to feel. He still didn't know why or how... But as much as he hated it, he was slowly beginning to believe Grian. But... Ren would never hurt him, right? Well, aside from forcing Martyn to behead him, and act like it was no big deal... And aside from pushing him to abandon his allies, ruining his only somewhat healthy relationships... Or how he played two sides, with his actual soulmate, and his chosen one... And how he disappeared, leaving Martyn stranded and lost. But... It couldn't be him. Right...?
"Hi, Martyn!"
Martyn jumped with a very unmanly squeal as the door to his house swung open. Immediately, he noticed Scar standing in the entrance, one hand resting on the doorknob, while the other was tapping the cover of his secret task book, attached to his belt. He looked quite a bit different, with a green shawl draped over his shoulders. Martyn rubbed his eyes, which stung as if he forgot to blink for hours.
"O-oh, hi, Scar... What are you doing here...?"
"Just checking up on you, as a friend would! We were all worried that you died without saying goodbye!"
"Well, I did fall into the void, but that didn't take me out completely... And uh, Jimmy is the other red right now, I don't know if-"
"Oh, Jimmy's dead!"
"...what?"
Martyn immediately looked down on his wristband. There, several different notifications awaited him. Starting with his own death message, followed by Jimmy and Lizzie's, and a few more... And then, the final ones. Lizzie falling into the void, just like he did. Jimmy getting obliterated by a Warden, and Mumbo following his fate soon after. Martyn shivered and pulled his knees to his chest, as the realization struck.
"How much time has passed since I died...?"
"Oh, a while! Why d'ya ask?"
Only then, all the sensations hit Martyn all at once. Previously, his mind was too busy overanalyzing details and looking for answers to take into account what was happening around him. But now, he could no longer ignore reality. His stomach panged with hunger, his throat felt dry and rough like sandpaper. His eyes teared up, and his head started spinning so hard he slumped against a wall. Everything hit him all at once and it felt like too much, too fast. Scar tilted his head and approached him.
"Hey, what's up?"
"I... Don't feel good..." He managed to bumble out, but his vision was already getting hazy.
"You need something? You know we're friends, right? I'll getcha something..."
"If you can check if there is any food in the chests..."
Scar opened one of the chests. They were mostly empty, with only the most basic of materials and tools inside. The only thing that even resembled food was an old, stale loaf of bread, lodged somewhere between a few iron swords. Scar couldn't help but grin, as an idea just popped into his head. All it took was a quick glance at his secret task book, and he immediately remembered what he was meant to do that day.
"Become the villain of the server."
"I found somethin'... How about some bread?" Scar asked and turned to face Martyn again. The weary, exhausted expression of Martyn almost made him feel bad for what he was about to do... But there was no time for mercy. He had a task to finish.
"Yeah, that will work..."
"Here you g- Oops!"
With an exaggerated gesture, Scar dropped the bread on the ground, then kicked it aside. The loaf was already so hard that hitting it against a wall produced a sound similar to a rock hitting a brick wall. Martyn flinched at the sound, then looked back at Scar with a shocked expression.
"What was that for?!"
"Oh you'll be fine. Not eating for a day or two won't kill you."
"I... I guess..." Martyn muttered, although his insides were absolutely killing him after being neglected for a few days. Still, despite the impending headache and weakness, he was starting to get suspicious. "Why did you even come...?"
"To check on you, of course!"
"I can tell... Can't you go check on somebody else?"
"Well, everyone else has been pretty active around the server! Unlike you, hiding in this little house of yours like a hermit..."
"Yeah, yeah, ha ha..."
"Ironic, isn't it?" Scar sat down on Jimmy's neatly done bed. It probably hasn't been used in a while, Martyn thought, and I haven't even noticed. "You're one of the only person who can't be called that, and there you are! How does it feel to not have a home server, by the way?"
"You're lucky you don't know." Martyn grumbled and turned away. His hair began falling on his face, obstructing his vision. Scar smirked when he picked up on that.
"Oh, I know, I know! It feels nice to have somewhere to go, be surrounded by people you can call friends... Family, even!"
"You came just to pick on me, didn't you?"
"No, no! I really am checking up on you! Since nobody else bothered with that... And, to be honest, I can't blame 'em! You did make quite a few enemies, friend!"
Martyn shivered. He already picked up on the fight that Scar was being nasty on purpose. Probably something about his secret task. But... He was right. He really had no place to call home, no family, no people left to call friends. Nobody came to check up on him since he died, and he couldn't blame them.
"If your task is to make me feel like shit, congrats, you can hit that success button..."
"Oh, it's not!"
"Then what is it...?"
"Oh you cheeky guy, I'm not telling you! You really think I'd fall for it this easily?" Scar grinned, then leaned over and poked Martyn's nose. "You're not as clever as you think you are!"
Scar bit his lip when he realized that Martyn was backing away from the conversation more and more. He still wasn't done, he still needed to finish his task... And what he has done so far did not feel like enough. He needed to back off, to get him to trust him again, even for just a moment... And then truly strike. He sat down again and sighed.
"I'm sorry... I just had a bit too much fun teasing you. What's wrong, dude? I can tell you're not feeling well..."
Martyn looked up at Scar again. It felt foolish to just vent to guy that just insulted him multiple times... But since Jimmy was gone, and everyone else abandoned him, he needed to talk to someone... Even just to organize his thoughts. He took in a deep breath, so deep that it almost made his lungs hurt.
"I... I learned a few things I feel like I shouldn't know..." He started. "And I'm so confused... Someone here did something bad, and I feel super confused and conflicted about it... I'm sure it was Grian, but the more I think about it, it... It could've been Ren, too... But why would he do something like that? He was always so nice and understanding to me, I... I can't believe he would hurt me... Is that stupid...?" He paused for a moment, but when Scar didn't interject him with another sarcastic comment, he continued "And, and I don't know what to do... I'm... Lost, and tired, and hungry, and... Everything just... Sucks. And I don't know what to do..." His eyes teared up again, but this time, due to all of his emotions piling up.
Scar gently smiled and tilted his head.
"How have you been dealing with all this thus far...?"
"I... Haven't, to be honest..." He stopped for a moment. This was probably even more foolish, but... He needed someone to listen, even just for a moment... He took a deep breath, then pulled out his journal from under his pillow. "The closest thing was probably writing something down here... That helps, but... It's not enough..."
Scar's eyes lit up immediately. He reached over to his pocket, hoping that Martyn didn't see it.
"Can I see?"
"I'd rather not..."
"I promise I won't read it! Just wanna see what it is... It's not your secret task book, is it?"
Reluctantly, Martyn handed the journal over to Scar. He kept a close eye on the man, as there was still this underlying tension to the conversation.
"No, it's... My journal."
"A diary?"
"A journal. There's a difference. So, uh... He gave it to me back at Dogwarts, and I've had it ever since. It helps, but- Wait, Scar, what are you doing?!"
Scar grabbed the journal by the cover, then pulled out a flint and steel from his pocket. It didn't take him long to light it up, the brittle paper quickly catching the flames. Immediately, despite his dizziness and pain, Martyn jumped out of his bed.
"SCAR!"
"I'm helping! I'm just trying to make you forget all these bad memories!"
Martyn snatched the journal from Scar's hands, then threw it on the ground to put out the flames. His breathing got so fast his chest was beginning to hurt. His vision got blurry from the tears that began streaking down his cheeks. He leaned down and picked up his journal. The pages got crumpled, and many of them had their bottom corner burned off. Most of the text was still legible... But that did not mean it didn't hurt. Immediately, he turned to Scar, his voice strong and angry once again.
"How could you-"
Martyn gasped as he narrowly avoided having his eye pierced out with Scar's sword. The man was holding his sword directed at Martyn, with a cheeky, evil smile on his face. With his back straightened, his eyes shining brightly with an almost red glow, he looked like real danger. Immediately, Martyn stepped back, hugging the journal against his chest.
"Run, Martyn. You're not welcomed here, and you never will be."
"Scar-"
"Maybe you'll find Ren out there... Unless he really hated you enough to leave."
Just before the sword got close enough to pierce his trachea, Martyn turned around and bolted out of the house. He clutched his journal tightly, the only reminder he had of someone he believed loved him once. His tears blurred his vision so much that he didn’t even see where he was headed. But that didn’t matter. All he knew was that he had to run .
Scar looked after him, as Martyn ran down the mountain and into the nearby forest. He breathed out, then leaned against the doorframe and looked down upon his secret task book.
"Alright, I think that's enough... So who's next?"
Chapter 43: The hunter becomes the hunted
Summary:
TW: Gore, mostly in the latter half of the chapter
Martyn's one last stand during Secret Life. This one is short lived, however.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Ever since getting chased out of his own house, Martyn took refuge along the southern edge of the server. It was far from perfect, and he wished he could just return to his house, but the memories of everything that went down there made him far too anxious to even try. He made a small, hidden campsite right by the area where Grian used to live. He even found himself scavenging through the abandoned chests a few times, looking for anything to eat. Anytime he noticed someone getting even closer to the abandoned building left by Grian, he retrieved into the woods, hoping for them to leave soon. At this point, he was becoming paranoid over who he could trust and who was out to get him. He didn't even catch when his own ally died - he didn't deserve the mercy of someone else taking him in, did he? There was nothing left for him, other than confining himself to his little hiding spot, gathering any scraps he managed to find and writing in his journal. Writing so much that his wrist was beginning to hurt. Writing until his eyes began to stung again. Now that he was beginning to remember things again, he needed to note down them all, in fear of them escaping him again. Or as a way to deal with the fact that they didn't seem to want to leave... Or both. Either way, there was no other way for him to proceed than completely cut himself off from others.
Unfortunately, not everyone wanted to forget about him still being there.
Martyn was still haunted by the voices that whispered at the edge of his consciousness. Especially when he was tired, or hurting, or anxious, or on the verge of crying - now that the Watchers made contact, they weren't going to leave him alone anytime soon. And he couldn't blame them, they probably had a blast watching him struggle with hunger, pain and the mental strain of the knowledge he wished he never obtained.
Martyn sat next to his campfire, frantically noting down the details of another loop that just flashed in front of his eyes. In that one, he failed to behead Ren in one fell swoop and had to correct, leaving the guy in tons of pain. The newly found memory made him shiver as he realized what Ren must've gone through. And despite everything, he still pushed Martyn to complete the ritual every single time... But why...? Martyn shook his head, then looked up at the sky. The sun was beginning to rise over the horizon. Another sleepless night behind him... He sighed, then rubbed his eyes. Of course he couldn't sleep. Not if they had anything to do about it.
"Can I get, like, an hour of sleep? Please?" He grumbled, then leaned back against a tree. The pesky whispers quieted down for just a moment, before becoming even more nagging, and even more present.
"You think you deserve this much, Mars? You should have gone down with your ally long ago."
"Yes, yes, I know, you guys told me about that already. Also that I'm awful, that I don't deserve to live, that I'm gonna be forever alone, yada yada yada... I know all this! Maybe get a bit more creative the next time, huh?!"
"It's coming today."
"What is...? What the hell do you mean?"
This time, ironically, the voices went completely quiet on him. Martyn sighed and pulled his journal against his chest, then groaned and curled up against the tree. He hasn't felt this rough in ages. Exhausted, hungry, dirty, lonely and completely hopeless. At this point, the Watchers' words no longer hurt - they seemed just uncreative. He knew that he was a bad person, and deserved everything that happened to him. He tried asking them about Ren a few times, but each time, they seemed completely unresponsive. That meant Ren either had nothing to do with the loops... Or they purposefully covered for him. But why? Ren wasn't a Watcher... Right? What kind of business would they have in protecting someone who wasn't even one of them?
The longer Martyn thought about it, the more drained he was beginning to feel. He closed his eyes for just a few minutes, basking in the brief release from the everpresent eyes and whispers. Finally, maybe he would get his well deserved sleep... Or, well, just sleep. His breathing slowed down, his mind slowing down at once, as if allowing him to briefly relax...
Before the sky erupted with a loud roar of a goat horn.
Martyn immediately jerked back, then moved to the edge of his campsite. From where he was placed, he could see groups of people running around, flinging weapons at each other. Arrows and other projectiles flew through the air, everyone was preparing for the deadly harvest of the end of the games. Just a few days ago, Martyn narrowly avoided getting involved in some sort of strange event, where people started attacking and killing each other for no good reason. It almost looked like they all got infected... And maybe his red life was the only reason he got sparred. There were moments where he wanted to get involved, but he knew better than to throw himself right in the middle of a war like this. But now... It was coming. This is what the Watchers must've meant.
After a few minutes of watching, Martyn returned to his campsite. This time, he wouldn't be spared. If he didn't come for them, they would come for him sooner or later. This was his time to make his one last stand. At that point, with how rough he was feeling, he didn't expect to win again. In the current game, he was at his peak, so of course he managed to push through and win... But this time, it would be foolish to believe he could repeat that. But as long as he could go down and drag as many people as he could with himself, that would still be enough for him.
Martyn hid his journal in the pocket of his hoodie and pulled out his sword from between all his things. He grabbed the last scraps of food he managed to scavenge the previous night, put out the fire, then left his spot. The sounds of people yelling, screaming and fighting were already making his head hurt. He looked down at his wristband, to check which players already perished. Lizzie, Jimmy and Mumbo dying were old news, but there were already new casualties on the server. Tango was the first one to fall, just before the sun rose over the land. Skizz followed him soon after. Even as Martyn read through the chat, he flinched as he noticed the newest update, announcing Etho's death from the hands of Scar. He must've died literally moments ago.
"Let's just hope I'm not the next one..."
As he looked for a fairly easy target, Martyn noticed Grian and Cleo standing on a newly built, flimsy tower right in the middle of the server. He grinned as he approached the structure. He just had to climb up without getting noticed, and then push them off... Or at least push Grian off. The idea of hurting Cleo still made him recoil, as if the remnants of their soulbinding were still somewhere there, resonating deep within his soul. But Grian... He earned it. He caused all of this to happen, and he tried convincing Martyn that the loop was Ren's doing. Martyn clenched his hand on the weapon, then approached the ladder leading up the tower. Just one last time, he had to put on the Captain's persona. The sooner he could avenge his lost friend, the better.
"Etho's down! Dang it!" Cleo groaned, then ducked to narrowly avoid an arrow that flew right at them all the way from the surface. They then turned to Grian. "I don't think it was a good idea, man... Bridging from here is too risky."
"We can, like, pretend we're dead and hope they leave us alone..." Grian nervously smiled and shrugged. Seeing Cleo's no-nonsense expression, he sighed and pulled out his bow. "Hey, we can still try bridging. Just close enough to any body of water, then we can drop down and blend in with the crowd.
"I guess that could work... One of us can build, the other will shield them. How about that?"
"That works. Just hold on, lemme make sure nobody's- Oh."
Grian looked down the shaft that led towards the top of the tower. He took a step back when he noticed someone climbing up, but then sighed with relief when he realized that it was not a threat. Just Martyn. He pulled out an arrow from his quiver and put it on his bow.
"Anyone there, G?"
"Yeah... I'll just take care of them quickly."
"Stupid ladder... Why is climbing... So hard?" Martyn huffed, making a quick stop in the middle of the tower. He underestimated how tall the build actually was, and now was paying for it. A few arrows flew around him, but none of them got even close to hitting him. Maybe he could pull it off, after all... He looked up, to guess how much longer he'd have to climb up... And then, his heart froze for just a second.
Grian was standing over the shaft, aiming his bow straight at him. Martyn's whole body went numb the moment he heard the string of the bow release with a quiet rustle. The arrow rushed through the air, then dug right into his chest.
"Gria-!" He called out, before losing his grip on the ladder and beginning to fall.
Basophobia. Falling, again.
At first, all he saw was Grian's cold, uncaring expression, as he released the arrow, stared at Martyn for a second or two, then turned away. The platform at the top of the tower was getting smaller and smaller, farther and farther away. And the ground was approaching fast... The soft grass wouldn't be enough to break the fall, would it...?
CRACK.
The moment Martyn hit the ground, a wave of sharp pain went through his whole body. He could no longer feel his hands, or his feet. His whole body felt numb, only with a pulsating pain beaming from his spine. Even his lungs felt tight, like he no longer had the strength to take a breath in. And this was it? His last hunt, ended with him falling from a ladder? No matter how much he tried to get up and run away, his body just wouldn't cooperate. Did he break his spine? Is this why he couldn't feel his limbs? Even moving his head seemed impossible. He felt stuck, laying on his back, with his eyes directed towards the bright sky. It was a nice day, warm and sunny. What a perfect day to die slowly, in the embrace of the soft, dew-covered grass. If only the pleasant smell wasn't beginning to mix the metallic scent of his own blood.
Martyn closed his eyes, which began filling up with tears. How long was he going to lay there? Until he'd bleed out? Would someone come and cut his suffering short? Would he even deserve this? Or would he get just what he earned, which was feeling how his soul slowly left his own body? He wished he could wipe his face from sweat, from blood and tears, but at this point, he wasn't even sure if he still had hands to do so. The screams of other players reached him from far away. Would anyone find him here? He chuckled at the idea of someone tripping over his half-dead body, but even the small movement made his chest flare up in pain - especially around the arrow that pierced through his pectoral. If only Grian aimed for the other side, he would've shot him right through the heart and made him die instantly... Maybe he didn't want that. Maybe he wanted Martyn to suffer. And maybe Martyn understood him. If he was in his place, he would've probably wanted the same.
"Anyone...?"
His voice carried softly over the meadow. At this point, he'd take anyone. Grian, Cleo, Mumbo- Oh, wait, he was already dead... Anyone, just to cut his suffering short. He lost any hope in getting back control over his own movement. Ironic. He couldn't feel his own body, but the moment he was greeted with another wave of pain, he was immediately reminded that he still, in fact, had it. He really did earn it, didn't he? A slow, painful death...
"Ren..."
Was this what Ren felt? Not only when Martyn left him to die, but... Throughout all the loops? And if so, did he really know what he was signing up for?
"I'm sorry... Come back, please..."
"Oh! What do we have here...?"
Martyn grunted as he opened one eye. For a moment, he was blinded by the sun that just happened to shine right into his face. But then, he noticed Scar standing over him, with a purple shawl draped over his shoulders and head. Oh, great. He did claim he'd take anyone, but that was not his preferred pick.
"Well hello there, Martyn! How are you doing?"
"How does it feel like I'm doing...?"
"It looks like, uh... I mean, I know the sun is nice today, but you gotta get your head back in the game, y'know?" Scar chuckled, but then, his smile immediately dimmed down. "Oh, wait, that's- That's a lot of blood... Oh, shoot... Um..."
"Scar..." Martyn began to cough, his chest flaring up in unbearable pain again. He barely held back from throwing up, as choking seemed like one of the worst ways to go at that point.
"Who did this to you?"
"Grian did... But didn't finish the job. Coward." Martyn snickered, but then closed his eyes again. "Scar... Do you hate me...?"
"...why?"
"Can you... Finish me off...? It... Really hurts..."
"Oh! Yeah, yeah, sure, uh..." Scar nervously chuckled and gripped his bow. "And, uh... Anything else you need...?"
"No, that's it. Just... Ren didn't come back, did he...?"
"Um... No, I don't think so...?"
"Right... Just do it. Please."
Scar pulled out an arrow and took a deep breath. He already had several casualties behind his belt... But this didn't feel as good. The feeling of chasing after his prey was so much better than just finishing off what was left by others... Or that's what his mind, plagued by the red haze, tried to convince him of. Still... At least in his eyes, Martyn deserved this much. He closed his eyes, then flinched when the arrow pierced the man's chest with a squelch. Martyn let out one last sigh of relief, before the last of the tension in his body released.
Inthelittlewood was shot by Goodtimewithscar.
"And, uh... Sorry for the last time." Scar whispered, but he couldn't hide a faint smirk on his face. The pulled the arrows that stuck out of the corpse to refill his quiver, then stepped away. "And... You're welcome, I guess."
"Ren..."
The lone wolf, abandoned in the abyss, flinched at the sudden sound. The voice didn't sound like any of the Watchers, but that was where his mind went immediately. They were just toying with him again, weren't they? He shivered, only then reminded that he still, in fact, had a body that flared up with a new wave of pain.
"I'm sorry... Come back, please..."
Ren's ear twitched. Either the Watchers were having tons of fun teasing him, or... It wasn't them. But, if that was who he actually suspected it to be... How...?
<Rendog> Martyn...?
But this time, he was answered only by silence. Still, he perked up his head, even if still weighed down by the heavy metal plate around his face.
<Rendog> You...
<Rendog> What happened to Martyn...?
"You know exactly what happened, Uranus."
Ren took a deep breath in. He did, in fact, know. And he was equally excited, and distraught at the prospect.
<Rendog> So... This is it...?
<Rendog> Grian promised to let me out after this
"We will honour the Administrator's words. But no funny business, Uranus."
Ren chuckled. For just a second, his chest filled up with a newfound heat.
<Rendog> Don't worry.
<Rendog> I'll make it wild. Just like you guys like it.
Notes:
Aaaand we're done with Secret Life! Not gonna lie, despite this being my least favorite season, this part was fun to write! Now there might be a few days before the Wild Life arc starts, mostly because I need to write a new plan for it, + do some uni work (and possibly not spend my whole birthday writing. But we'll see) but I hope you guys enjoyed this one, and will enjoy what's going to come! We're really getting close to the end, thank gods-
Chapter 44: The canine harbinger
Summary:
Ren struggles to find his place back on the Wild life server. This brings him all the way back to what he tried running away from.
Notes:
Well this one is a beast! I haven't written anything close to 4k words in a while. Still, I hope you enjoy this one!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Welcome to Wild Life!"
From the moment Ren woke up, his whole body was already aching. The prolonged stay in the abyss definitely didn't help, as the void rot continued to spread throughout his body. Now, any form of touch on his back, shoulders and thighs sent sparks of pain through his whole body. At first, when the players were all standing on a tiny island on a river and talking, his ears rang so loud that he didn't hear anything. Not like he needed to hear. He already knew what was going to happen, all of the wildcards and all of the pain he was going to go through. Once the piercing migraine lesened enough to allow him to get up and look around, most of the players had already dispersed. And he didn't even notice where Martyn went... He cursed under his breath, pulling himself back up.
"Welcome back to the living, Uranus!" Ren flinched upon hearing the voice over him. He perked his head up, his eyes meeting with Grian's. He did not seem malicious, or angry, or anything - more so mischievous, or even amused.
"Oh... It's you."
"Nice to see you too." The avian smirked and reached out his hand, to help him up. He then pointed at the last pale boat, bobbing on the short waves next to the island. "Care for a ride? I need to talk to you."
"Sure, why not..."
Getting into the boat turned out to be much harder than Ren expected. Aside from it shaking and moving on the waves, his whole body felt odd, almost like it was no longer his. By the way Grian stared at him, he could tell some of his void rot was already peeking out from under his long-sleeved shirt, probably on his neck. For just a moment, Ren wondered whether it already reached the hardly healing scar of the beheading. On the other hand, he could also believe that the whole infection started right there. Once Ren managed to get in, Grian sat in front of him, facing the dog, then began rowing towards the shore.
"The abyss did not erase your memories, did it?"
"...no. Kinda wish it did, but..." Ren covered his mouth and nose and inhaled deeply. "What do you wanna know?"
"So what means you know what's gonna happen, more or less, right? All of the wildcards, all that?"
"Yes..." Ren stiffened a little. Grian was a friend, sure, but this one time, his upbeat tone kept him on his toes.
"So, uh, can you tell me what the wild card will be for tomorrow?"
Ren raised his eyebrows. Did Grian not know? He was still the runner of the games, after all, even if Ren's wish messed with his authority a bit... Or was he just testing him? His tail stopped wagging as he stared at Grian's face, trying to read what he truly meant by that.
"Yeah, sure, dude... It's about f-" Suddenly, Ren was struck with a painful sensation right in his throat. Almost as if someone put a burner up to his neck and tried lighting him up. Ren started coughing and curled up in his seat, struggling to take a breath. "What the hell, dude?!"
"So it works!" Grian chuckled. The dog could swear his eyes lit up purple for just a second. "Sorry, man... Had to make sure you won't spoil the fun to anyone. Especially Martyn. And this was the only way I knew how, without messing with your brain."
"Don't worry, I won't tell him." He grunted, then turned away from Grian. "...I'm pretty sure he won't even want to look at me. Let alone talk to me."
"Oh?" Grian raised his eyebrows. "Tell me more..."
"I..." Ren inhaled deeply again. Telling him was a mistake, wasn't it? "Won't he be happier without me...? I hurt him so bad, a-and now he knows the truth..."
"I see... So you made a mess, and now you're running away without fixing it, hm? I didn't know that side of you, Ren..."
"W-what?" Ren immediately turned to him. "No I'm not! Right...?"
The boat settled down gently on the soft sand. Without a single word more, Ren got off of it and landed on the shore. He didn't even turn to Grian, his brain too preoccupied with all that he heard from him. Great, now even if he wanted, he couldn't tell Martyn, or anyone else, about what was going to happen... And that idea made him shiver. Yet again, he was burdened with his knowledge, and he had no one to blame but himself. Before he could leave however, Grian spoke up once more.
"I'll see you around, right, Uranus?"
"...don't call me that."
At that point, Ren was at a complete loss. The urge to go join Martyn was so strong... But his worries about hurting the man further were eating him alive. Not to mention, the ticking sound that crossed the air reminded him of something more. The wildcards. After so many loops, he knew the ins and outs of all of them... But he couldn't even share this knowledge. Soon enough, the confused and amused voices of the other players reached him. Maybe this time around, he just needed to give Martyn some space, and join someone else...?
The first group of people that Ren spotted took refuge not far from the river shore. Bdubs, Etho and Tango set camp on a grassy plateau, just west from spawn. They seemed oblivious to his presence at first, but eventually, Tango's pointy ears perked up and he turned to the dog.
"Heya, Ren!" He waved excitedly. "Nice to see you again! Where did you go?"
"Mandatory vacation." Ren chuckled. Well, he wasn't exactly lying about that, although if they knew the details, they probably wouldn't call it 'vacation'. "Can I join ya?"
"Oh, I dunno..." Bdubs hummed "Are you a Tuff guy, Ren?"
"Am I a tough guy?"
"No, a Tuff guy!" Bdubs scoffed and got up from the ground. He was already holding a light grey chunk of rock in his hand. "We're only recruiting Tuff guys to our team, so that we can get to the very end!"
"Oh..." Ren couldn't help but smile, briefly remembering how the end of the game usually went for this team. "So, uh, yes, I am a Tuff guy, dude! How do I sign up?"
"See that crevasse in the mountain?" Etho pointed at a place, where the bare stone face covered a side of an overgrown mountain. "We got a rock each, and threw it to determine where we would build our bases."
"So now, you gotta do it too!" Bdubs nodded and pushed the rock into Ren's hand. The dog shivered. It was heavier than he expected. He looked down at the stone, then chuckled.
"Alright, fine, let's do it..."
Just a few moments later, Ren was standing at the place Etho showed him. From where he was, the area where they decided to live. For just a moment, he wondered whether they just made up the whole story - were they actually able to throw their rocks so far? Still, he took a deep breath, readied himself...
Then threw the rock barely a few feet forwards.
His arm, already covered in marks of void rot and malnourished from his prolonged stay in the abyss, was weak and began hurting just from the small effort of throwing the rock. The stone rolled in the grass for a moment, then stopped, barely ten feet from Ren. The dog chuckled nervously, then looked up at his maybe-soon-to-be allies. However, seeing Bdubs and Etho's disapproving faces, and Tango's inability to hold back laughter, he sighed and turned around. Looks like he was not such a Tuff guy anymore...
"Hello?" Ren knocked on the door at the side of the mountain. Or rather, the trapdoor. He knew who the tiny entrance belonged to, and despite holding back from using the wildcard himself, he wanted to try and maybe find his spot among the group.
Eventually, Mumbo opened the door. The only difference being, that mumbo was maybe a foot tall.
"Hi Ren!" He called out. His voice was high and squeaky, and Ren really wanted to laugh at that. But that was not the right time. He shook his head to regain the exposure, then crouched in front of the entrance.
"Hi, Mumbo! Is Skizz there?"
"Yeah... How did you know?"
"I, uh, just a guess! You guys have room for one more?"
"Not sure, dude... You're a bit too big to fit, aren'tcha?" Mumbo retrieved back into the house, but Ren could hear him calling out. "Hey Skizz! Skizz! Skizz, Ren is asking whether he can join!"
"Hold on!" A moment later, Skizz's head perked out from the base. He squinted when he looked up at Ren. "Hey! What are you doing here, big guy?"
"Hi dude! Can I join?"
"Can you?" Skizz eyed him and crossed his arms. Ren tilted his head, but then perked up as he realized what he meant.
"Oh, right! Alright, let me-"
Ren curled up as much as he could, to begin the shrinking process... Until, all of a sudden, a sharp pain struck through his spine, making him collapse on the ground. Ren winced and panted, trying to get the awful pain under control. And he didn't shrink an inch... Did the void rot affect him in more ways than he expected?
"Whoa, wait, what's going on?" Mumbo approached him. "What's wrong, Ren?"
"I-It's fine..." Ren coughed, then pulled himself up from the ground. His legs were shaking, the pain lessened, but was still throbbing through his spinal cord. "I- I think I should go..."
"Wait, no, Ren! Did something happen? Ren!"
"What's up, guys?" Grian's voice could be heard from inside the base, which made Ren leave even faster. He almost forgot that Grian was a part of their team... And the longer he could keep whatever just happened from him, the better.
Climbing the tall, overgrown mountain was definitely a struggle, and at the summit Ren almost collapsed on the ground. He panted, resting his hands on his knees and looking up. Jimmy, Scar and Lizzie were already setting up their base atop the mountain, soon to be called Mount Bam. The moment he spotted Ren, Jimmy smiled and ran up to him.
"Hey Ren!" He smiled brightly. "Hey, you alright? Don't you wanna sit down?"
"Yeah, I'm alright... No worries, I'm just a little tired." He chuckled and shook his head. He really needed some rest, but he didn't want to show weakness... So, he just crouched down right at the edge of the summit. He really hoped he wouldn't trigger the wildcard again, saving him from the pain. "Don't you guys want a fourth guy to join the team?"
"We could use an extra pair of hands..." Lizzie nodded and approached them. "Bamboozling people as four people does sound more fun!"
"Yeah, why not!" Scar also approached them, then crouched next to Ren, as a sign of solidarity. He then looked up at Jimmy and Lizzie. "We already have tons of plans, don't we? We'll build a theme park, and a giant roller coaster, and all- It's gonna be awesome!"
"Sure will..." Jimmy chuckled. "Maybe the others finally won't see us as losers..."
"Speak for yourself, sir!" Scar scoffed, but there was no mockery in his tone. "I'll lead you guys to a glorious victory, just like I did the last time! And it's gonna be amaz-aaaagh!"
While crouching, Scar didn't even notice that he began to shrink. The moment he realized that happened when he tried getting up from his position - and his smaller stature, which he wasn't used to, caused him to lose his balance and fall on his back, then begin falling down Mount Bam. His teammates and Ren looked after him in horror, wincing as they noticed him hitting trees and rocks on his way, until he fell into a hole right at the bottom of the mountain.
Goodtimewithscar fell from a high place.
"O-oh! Uh, hah..." Ren chuckled nervously and got up himself, somehow avoiding losing balance himself. "I, uh, I think you guys can take care of that one, right? Uhhh... Seeya!"
Maybe they were yelling something after him, but at that point, Ren could barely hear them. His tinnitus returned, muffling any sounds that could probably reach and later haunt him. He was beginning to run out of options...
No matter how many times he visited the Pale forest, Ren always found the place off putting. The tall, discolored trees bent and twisted into unnatural shapes, and the long, slender branches seemed like they were reaching after him and trying to grab him. The sky turned from a bright blue to a sickly silver the moment he entered the area. But this is where his soulmate decided to leave... So he had to at least try to shoot his shot with him.
"Bee? Hey, BigB!" He called out. "BigB...? Oh, geez, man!"
Ren flinched and almost jumped away when he finally noticed BigB. He somehow blended in completely with the surrounding trees. There were branches wrapped around his arms, and his eyes also turned from brown to a little bit more orange. But the man did not seem aware of anything being wrong... He just smiled and waved at Ren.
"Heya! I missed you, dude!"
"So did I..." Ren sighed, and as BigB approached him, the two embraced. "So, uh, what's up with the branches...?"
"What branches?"
"Nevermind..." Ren sighed. He should've known that getting any information out of BigB would be difficult... But he didn't mind. The guy was strange, but he found that amusing. "Do you, uh, have room for one more...?"
"Well, to be honest, I was expecting to live on my own this time..." He hummed. "But, if you wanna join, I guess we can make some room for you..."
"We?"
Suddenly, Ren heard a rustle right behind him. He turned around, then screamed and took a few steps back. A large, slender creature froze in place, its long arms with sharp fingers reaching out towards Ren's throat. The dog gasped, his eyes locking in with the creatures multiple, orange eyes.
"W-what the hell is this...?" He asked, despite knowing the answers.
"Not sure, I met a few of these guys around here and they seem chill! They just don't like the attention... The moment you look at them, they get all shy..."
"Yeah, shy..." Ren chuckled nervously. He tried to blink, and he immediately noticed as the creature moved towards him. He was already paranoid enough... So that was a big, huge no for him. "So, uh, I see you already have company... I guess I won't disturb you guys, then..."
"Fine... But come by anytime, alright?" Bee smiled. "There's always a safe spot for my soulmate here."
"Thanks, dude."
Ren ultimately managed to leave the strange creature behind, but his heart was still pounding in his chest. BigB was... Odd, but he was a good guy. Back during Double Life, Ren always appreciated having him as a soulmate. But... He wasn't Martyn, and that made him miserable for more than one reason. He really did believe that Bee deserved much better than him... Better than someone who was stuck chasing the same guy over, and over, and over, and over. He really wished they weren't soulbound, just so that BigB could be free and happy with someone else. He even wondered whether this cryptic, fun, but strange guy was aware, of how deep his soulmate's connection with Martyn ran...
It took Ren by surprise when he found Scott, Cleo, Pearl and Impulse setting up on a peninsula in the middle of a lake east from spawn. He soon realized that yes, in each loop they were destined to move out, but it clearly hasn't happened yet. He approached the walls of their base, not sure where to ender. This could be a bad idea... Cleo, Pearl and Impulse were three people Martyn wronged badly, especially in this loop. And if he ever brought him up, even by accident, they could get upset... But there was also Scott, and as far as I could remember, he, Martyn and Ren always had a lot of fun in Limited Life, as the group of pirates called Mean gills. Maybe he could convince the others to let Ren join... Even if the crew was not realized this time around.
"Hey, Scott!" Ren called out the moment he noticed the short man on the edge of the wall. Scott turned his head towards him. "Got a minute?"
"Hi, Ren..." He got up and slowly approached him. "What's up?"
"You got room for one more?"
"I dunno... There's already four of us, and five's a crowd... Why do you wanna join?"
"Well, heh, to be honest, I..." Ren chuckled nervously. "I just... Uh, wanted to look for some people to live with, and... I didn't want to stay with Martyn this time, he seems kinda fed up with me, and he deserves better than me I think, but... You get it, right?"
"Martyn?" Scott spit out the name with an almost disgusted expression. Ren flinched and tilted his head. So he missed a lot...
"Uh... Did something happen...?"
"Yeah. A whole lot. Back during Limited Life." Scott's eyes darkened. "But hey, he's so obsessed with you, I'm sure he will take you in..."
"I mean, maybe, but-"
Scott then disappeared behind the wall, and Ren could hear the quiet thud as he landed on the grass. He sighed. That was his fastest fumble by far, and the stupidest... He only had one more place to go, before he'd run out of options...
"Hey g-"
"Are you tryna steal our cows too, huh?!" The moment Ren approached the base across the river, Joel jumped at him with his sword. Ren whimpered, his tail immediately curling up.
"No, I'm not! I don't want your cows!" He pleaded, hoping that Joel would spare him. He sighed with relief when he noticed Gem leaving their little hut. "H-hi, Gem..."
"Joel, leave him alone, he's not gonna steal our cows..." She sighed, then approached them. "Nice to meetcha by the way, I'm- Wait. You already know my name?"
Ren shut his mouth into a tight line, then smiled nervously. He completely forgot that since he was not a part of the last game this far... So technically, he shouldn't know Gem yet. He looked up and down at her, trying to look for some kind of excuse.
"Uh... No, you just... Misheard me...?"
Gem raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying his explanation.
"Anyway... Would you guys mind if I joined you...?"
"I don't know..." Gem sighed and rested her elbow against Joel's shoulder. "This guy is a lot to manage already, and I don't want to babysit two guys at once..."
"You don't have to babysit me, I can handle myself!" Ren immediately got defensive.
"Oh yeah? How many times were you out first? Twice?" Joel chuckled. "First got killed by your only ally, and then took down BigB with ya..."
Ren puffed out his cheeks. In his head, he already imagined all the times he got to the finale and absolutely mauled Joel... But that was not the time. He had to keep a low profile, at least for now. He then inhaled deeply and looked up at them again. He could swear they were usually shorter than him... They were probably making use of the wildcard.
"Alright... I'll claim the other half of this island, if you don't mind."
"As long as you leave our cows alone." Joel growled.
"I don't want your cows, you-" Ren groaned, then turned away. "Alright, whatever... See you later..."
By the time Ren was approaching the place he chose for his base, the sun was beginning to set. He was hungry, exhausted and gained nothing by going around and looking for allies. He didn't even gather any resources... This was going to be a long night. Not to mention, he didn't see Martyn anywhere since the beginning... And that was worrying. Did Grian take him away? Did he hide somewhere? Ren could tell that his psyche took a giant hit, but he genuinely didn't want to see him hurt... Even if that meant having to leave, to save him. At least for now. He always had new loops to try...
As Ren approached a small hill on the western edge of the island, he heard someone, and noticed movement between the trees. So someone took refuge there... Maybe he wasn't going to be alone after all. He approached the hill, pushed away a branch to take a closer look...
And then he noticed him.
Martyn was standing between the trees, putting freshly cut wood into a chest. The wildcard clearly worked on him, as he appeared much taller than Ren, his head grazing against the treetops. With how big he appeared, Ren could clearly tell how messed up his lover was. His eyes were dark, with shady circles under them. His hair was long and messy, and not exactly clean. He had a lot of scratch marks on his hands, and probably more under his long hoodie. He looked... Miserable. His smile was completely gone. Ren felt as if his heart was breaking. It was all his fault, wasn't it...?
"Martyn..." He whispered and let go of the branch. That was a mistake, however, because the branch flung back into position and smacked Ren on the face. The dog fell to the ground with a pained groan, and attracted Martyn's attention. The blond man looked at him in surprise, only now noticing him... Then began to laugh.
"How many times did it happen in the previous loops?" He asked a question that made Ren's blood freeze. So he knew... But he was also so... Nonchalant about this. How...? He sat up on the grass, rubbing his hurting nose.
"Uh... This is the first, for sure..." He chuckled nervously. He then looked up at his partner. He looked absolutely magnificent, with the setting sun right behind him, lighting him up and making him look like some sort of deity. Ren felt his throat go fry. "I... I missed you..."
"I can tell." Martyn's expression got serious, and he crossed his arms on his chest. "You have a lot of explainin' to do, sir..."
"I know..." Ren giggled nervously, then got up again and approached him "And I promise, I'll tell you everything, if you want to. But, uh... Where do I start..."
Martyn eyed him for a moment. It was a difficult situation, and he really had to keep himself in check to not blow up at Ren right away... But maybe there was an explanation. Maybe Ren didn't do it just because he hated him. He sighed, then sat on top of one of his chests.
"From the beginning, if you will. From the very first loop."
Notes:
I have 2 good news for you guys!
1. This fic just crossed 5k hits in total, and I'm so so grateful for that! Looking at how many hits it gains roughly per chapter, it will probably become my number 1 fic very soon, surpassing Canary's thrill, and it might even hit 6k before I'm done? Speaking of-
2. I have finally written down the rough ideas for each chapter until the very end of the fic. It will consist of about 10 more chapters - I can't tell you exactly how many, it depends on which of them turn out so long that I'll need to split them into two - so I expect between 9 and 12 more chapters in total. I hope you guys are ready, cuz A LOT is going to happen :3
Chapter 45: The first loop, and the loop of firsts
Summary:
TW: Mentions of gore, existential dread (ig? just in case)
Martyn learns the truth from Ren. Now, he wishes that he didn't.
Notes:
Funfact - I expected it to be a short chapter, maybe even under 2k words. It's not! It's over 3k words! And it's uhhhh a lot!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Ren sat on top of the soft, slightly wet grass. The sun was slowly beginning to set and the steaming hot server was slowly cooling off after a day full of laughs and confusion. But before they could lay their heads down and prepare for what's coming tomorrow, he had one more matter to tend to. Unable to stop fidgeting, the dog began pulling grass from the ground and tossing it away, the mindless task keeping his anxiety somewhat at bay. He wasn't sure how much time passed since Martyn asked him to tell him everything - it could be minutes or hours. But Martyn did not rush him even once. Ren had no courage to lift his head and look him in the eye, but he could feel the blond man's stare on himself. After weighing the words in his head for what felt like forever, he finally exhaled and opened his mouth.
But then he closed it again.
What was he supposed to tell Martyn? That he trapped all of them in a loop of death games out of love? Out of the soul crushing misery he felt after Martyn perished? He couldn't even tell him that part, as even thinking about it made his throat sting. But he could no longer keep him in the dark... At this point, there was no turning back. It took him a few more tries to gather enough courage, but then he finally, slowly spoke up.
"It started so long ago... I can barely remember it." He chuckled in a bitter manner. "But, uh, how much do you remember now...?"
"It's... Hard to tell." Martyn muttered. "Everything besides this loop is very hazy. And besides a few moments. Like, you know, the beheading, or... You know, that thing during Limited Life."
Ren silently nodded his head.
"And I can't recall anything that happened in this game in all the other loops. Probably so that I don't-"
He suddenly got interrupted by a loud crack, combined with Martyn's surprised scream. Ren looked up, his ears perking up as the sound alarmed him. He expected to see something dangerous, but instead, couldn't hold back laughter. At the beginning of the conversation Martyn sat on top of one of his double chests, but forgot about his increased size, due to the wildcard. Thus, the lid of the chest cracked under his weight and he felt right inside. Martyn cursed under his breath, which only caused Ren to erupt in laughter.
"Hey! Not funny!" Martyn puffed out his cheeks. "Stupid chest... Stupid wildcard, doesn't work how I wanted it to... I don't even know how to reverse it!"
"At least it works for you." Ren giggled and shook his head. "You want some help, dude?"
"...yes."
Ren got up from the ground and approached him. Slowly but surely, his tail was beginning to wag from side to side again.
"Okay... You gotta curl up as much as you can to start shrinking. It might take a while."
"Easier said than done..." Martyn grumbled, struggling to move in his awkward position "You're not the one with his butt stuck in a chest..."
Ren began laughing again, then reached out and grabbed Martyn's hands. The blond man's hands were much bigger than his for once. They were also really cold, but the dog decided to not comment on that.
"Easy now... You've got it. Deep breaths, baby..."
Martyn looked down at their connected hands, their intertwined fingers. Then, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He could feel cold, pleasant shivers as he began slowly returning to his right size. The cracked, sharp parts of the chest stopped digging into his skin. Fortunately, none of them seriously hurt him.
"Did that happen in any of the previous loops...?" Martyn asked shyly. Ren thought for a moment, but then shook his head.
"I don't think so... Well, guess we can still have a first, even after so long..."
"Well, that's reassuring... That even after so long, I can still surprise you." Martyn's bashfulness immediately got masked under a layer of smugness. He even winked at his friend, which caused Ren to blush and look away. Martyn tilted his head in surprise. That was another part he was still missing, wasn't he...?
Eventually, when Martyn shrunk back to roughly his normal shape, Ren pulled on his hands and helped him escape the confines of the treacherous chest. Martyn sighed with relief and fixed his hair, only to realize that he went a little overboard in the opposite direction... He was usually shorter than Ren, but now, he was shorter by almost an extra head.
"Hey!" He put his hands on his hips and looked up at Ren. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"
"I didn't!" Ren tried holding back laughter again, but he was really struggling. "Just sit back there, you'll look taller than me. Besides, once the sun sets, the wildcard will disperse and you'll be back to your normal size."
"I hope so." Martyn grumbled and climbed on top of another chest. He seemed a bit apprehensive, as if expecting to make another hole, but at least for now, he was safe. "So...?"
Ren sat back at his place and looked down again, his stare plastered to the small pile of grass he pulled out of the ground. Poor grass, she didn't deserve it. Ren, on the other hand... He deserved all of what he brought upon himself. And if he could only lift the burden from Martyn's shoulders...
But he couldn't. The closest thing was telling him the full truth, now that he was ready.
Ren took a deep breath.
"I... I don't even know how many loops have passed." He finally began. Martyn leaned forward a bit, to hear him more clearly. "But... I remember the first one. It was... Fairly uneventful. I'm still surprised that you went through with that first beheading..."
"Wait, how did it even begin?" Martyn tilted his head to the side. "Who gave you this stupid idea?"
"I did..." Ren smiled nervously. "I was, uh... Being a bit dramatic, after that stupid trap blew me up. It didn't happen every time, but... The tradition stuck."
"Why though...? It hurt, didn't it...?"
It did. It hurt like hell, every single time. Especially later down the line, when the slowly spreading void rot stopped the wound from healing. Now, Ren felt a permanent numb, throbbing pain in the back of his neck. It was manageable most of the time, but it really stung whenever he made any sudden movements. Still, he wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. It was like a bonding moment, even if one of the parties involved wasn't aware of that... And even if that was a strange type of a bonding moment.
"I... At first, I think I was just being stupid." He shook his head and looked up at Martyn again. The man looked really interested in what he had to say... "But then... Okay, wait, I'll return to that in a moment. Anyway... The beheading, then the Shadow alliance, then... Well, the soul binding stuff..."
Martyn looked down at his hand, as if expecting the imaginary string of fate to be tied to his finger again. There was one thing he wanted to ask... But he was pretty sure he knew the answer already. He sighed and nodded, then looked down at Ren again.
"We... Aren't soulmates, are we...?"
"Apparently..." Ren sighed. "But... Still. Even if you're not my soulmate, I... I'd choose you every time, I promise, dude. No matter what would keep us separated... I'd always try to find you again. Always..."
"I guess that explains... Nevermind. So, uh, what happened then...? You... You didn't disappear..."
"No... I didn't." Ren smiled upon recollecting the somber memory. "Me, you and Scott, as the fearsome pirates, swimming under the Mean Gills flag..."
Martyn's head perked up.
"Grian knew that name... Wait. Does he...?"
"Remember things? No, usually not. When he put me on a, uh, timeout in the abyss, I told him... And he must've repeated it to you."
Martyn hummed in response. Those memories were especially hazy... But he could recall some details. For example, how hot Ren looked in a pirate outfit. That immediately made his whole head and chest feel hot. He shook his head, but the mental image did not disappear yet.
"So, uh, yeah... That sounds like a lot of fun... And you guys helped me win, so-"
"Well, about that..." Martyn's head immediately turned to Ren upon hearing that. "You've actually... Never won before this loop."
Martyn bit his lip.
"Why not...?"
"You were..." Ren sighed. The truth was simple - in most other loops, he got himself in too much trouble protecting Ren, and almost never lasted until the finale. So, with Ren out of the equation, the win was finally within his grasp... And he grabbed it with all his limbs, immediately. "Busy. With other things."
"With you?"
Ren's face flashed red yet again. He couldn't tell whether Martyn was just teasing him, or if he knew the truth... Knowing Martyn, he probably bluffed to tease Ren, and to pretend to be more knowledgeable than he actually was. Good old Martyn.
"Uhhh... Anyway, then we moved on to Secret Life, and to Big Dogs Task Force with Jimmy..." Ren chuckled. "You teamed up with him this time too, didn't you...?"
"Well, rather he teamed up with me, but... Yeah." Martyn chuckled and hid his hands in his hoodie's pocket. Funny, how he gravitated to similar teams every time, even when Ren wasn't around... Somewhere in the back of his head, worry popped up. What if all of his decisions weren't actually his, but planned from the beginning and he had no choice but to succumb to them...? He shook his head again. That wasn't the right time for existential dread, even though he could already feel a heavy, sticky pool of misery forming in his stomach.
"And after that...This game. The last one."
Even just that made Ren's throat burn. He had to weigh his words, to not activate whatever self-censoring spell Grian put on him... He definitely wouldn't be able to tell Martyn what exactly happened, or how he wanted to prevent this from happening again. But maybe he could lay down certain things, and hope that Martyn would pick up on them...
"It went... It went well. We lived together..." He began coughing, but the pain was still bearable. "And then... Something happened. Something bad. Really bad." The coughing fit intensified, to the point where Ren had to stop and try to catch his breath again. His eyes filled with tears, both from coughing, and from the flooding memories. He had to see this through... "And... I was so heartbroken... I made a promise that I'd never let anyone hurt you again..."
"Hey, hey... Easy now." Martyn got up from his spot, then approached Ren. He slid his small, cold hands into Ren's bigger, warmer hands. Ren looked up at him and inhaled sharply, drowning the cough in the back of his throat. He had to see this through. "It's okay, take your time..."
"No, no... I can't." Ren's voice became even quieter, even colder. "You need to know."
"I can wait."
" It can't wait, I- I got to talk to them, Martyn... And then-"
"The Watchers?"
Ren nodded. That was a good sign... Throughout so many other loops, it seemed like Martyn completely forgot who the Watchers were... But something clearly triggered him to remember them again. Maybe it was just regaining his memories, maybe it was something else.
But it wasn't a good sign to Martyn.
He knew the Watcher like the back of his hand. His matter with them went so far back that he didn't even recall when it started. But... They were not beings that anyone could deal with. It would always result in misery and harm... And Ren clearly fell for their schemes. They must've manipulated him... Martyn tightened his grip on Ren's hands, not ready to share his worries with Ren. He could feel the dog shaking and struggling to keep his emotions at bay... He was scared. And so was Martyn. But at that moment, he had to keep himself together. For Ren.
"And... I asked them to see you again... And they did that 'Yours will be done' thing, and... Brought me back. To the very beginning."
"...and what did you do then...?"
"At first, I was... So excited that I got to see you again..." He chuckled nervously and pulled one hand away, to start twirling his long, messy hair. "I knew what kept us apart the previous time, so I swore things would turn out differently... I repeated all the things that kept us close, and try to change what separated us, but... But that didn't work... You still got hurt, and... That something bad still happened. So I... So I talked to them again, and they brought me back. And again. And again. And again, and again, and again, and-"
Ren then stopped, as he was beginning to hyperventilate. His hands were shaking like crazy, tightly squeezing Martyn's hands in his own. He carefully leaned forward, then put his face on Martyn's shoulder. The blond man's shoulder immediately got wet with his partner's tears.
"And... And it never stopped... No matter what I did, you kept getting hurt... And I just couldn't stop... Every loop was supposed to be the last one, but... But you got hurt again, and... And you didn't deserve that, so I... Tried fixing it... But once I fixed one thing, three more would break... And eventually, you... You killed me during the beheading, and everything went to shit." He began laughing bitterly.
Martyn moved his free hand to stroke Ren's head. The existential dread of their situation was weighing him down more than ever. His limbs felt like lead, when he finally realized how much of a mess he was in... And he didn't even realize, until very recently. He gulped, trying to keep himself from breaking down.
"Have I... Have I ever done that before...?"
"No... It was a first, too. This loop was a first for many things..."
Martyn shivered. He hated this, he hated all of this. At that singular moment, he wished all of this would turn out to be a bad dream. He hated the games, hated Grian for creating them, hated the Watchers, hated his own incompetence, hated- Did he hate Ren...? On one hand, he wanted to push the dog away, scream at him and never see him again... On the other, he wanted to hug him tightly and tell him that they would be alright, that they'd fix this together... He shook his head yet again, as if to push that question away again.
"If this loop ends badly again... Will you try again...?"
"I... I don't know if I still have it in me." Ren admitted quietly. "Can I show you something...?"
"...sure."
Ren shivered as the cold evening breeze blew over his bare chest. He threw his shirt away, then turned his back to Martyn. The blond man barely held back a gasp, covering his mouth and cringing at the same time. Ren's whole back, parts of his sides, shoulders and neck were completely black, like the fabric of the abyss. The void rot stain was uneven, tattered at the edges, as if someone splotched the dog with paint and it was still slowly but surely spilling over his body. Small, white dots were scattered here and there, and upon closer inspection he'd see tiny strings coming off of them and digging deep into Ren's skin, almost like miniscule spiders. The worst part was definitely the big wound on the back of his neck, which looked like it should've healed over long ago. Dark purple ichor was dripping down from the wound and marking the damaged skin. Martyn shivered and moved back a bit.
"Void rot..."
"You know what that is...?"
Martyn pulled up his right sleeve and showed off his own, similar mark. His, however, looked much less severe. His mark was fainter, not nearly as dark, and it only covered the area close to his thumb in size. No white speckles, no dripping ichor.
"Why does it look so bad on you...?"
Ren grabbed his shirt and began putting it on again.
"After every game, the Watchers would pull me into the void to talk to them... And that would stack after time. Not to mention, when Grian pulled me out and trapped me in the abyss... That only sped up the process."
Ren remained silent as he buttoned his shirt. He expected Martyn to say something... But he didn't. Did he hate him? He had to, after everything that he just learned... Now, he had to prepare for the worst. He sat back down on the grass and looked at Ren yet again.
"So... Now you know what happened, more or less. How are you feeling...?"
Martyn weighed his words for a serious minute.
"I don't know."
"Will you leave me now, that you know the truth...?"
"No."
The response was pretty much automatic, and Martyn didn't realize that he even said that until he noticed Ren's excited expression. The dread of the situation fully settled in his head, making him feel heavy, useless, almost as if he was already dead. He was trapped by someone he saw as a friend, maybe even more... Stripped from his memories and forced to repeat events over, and over, and over, and over again. What kind of life was that? How much time had he wasted on that? Would there ever be an end to this, or would that be his fate again? How would he know that he wasn't doomed to repeat again? What if Ren decided that this loop wasn't good enough and decided to repeat everything again? Would Martyn get his memory wiped again? How would he know that the past versions of him didn't learn the whole history again, only to get thrown right back into the loop again? And what if he was destined to join them? Just a speck of dust in an infinite, never ending loop of pain, misery and mutually assured destruction...?
"Oh gosh, dude! I'm so happy that you're staying!" Ren hugged Martyn tightly and pulled him closely. He nuzzled his cheek against Martyn's, his tail wagging fast from side to side. "I promise, I'll fix this! For you, for both of us!"
"Yeah..."
That was all that Martyn could answer. He didn't feel Ren's warm embrace. It more so reminded him of thorny branches, which wrapped around him and threatened to hurt him if he made one wrong move. It was easier to just remain unmoving and pray that he wouldn't get hurt again. Ren kept chattering over his head, but Martyn did not understand a single word. He was probably reassuring him... But at that point, the only thing he could do was bite his tongue as hard as he could, to stop himself from breaking down. Eventually, he succumbed to static that filled his ears, and the dread of his situation, which was beginning to digest him from inside.
Notes:
I'm really curious what you guys think of this one, cuz like I said, it's... A lot lol
Also, before I forget again - a while ago, I made a playlist of songs that make me think of this fic and this whole AU! I've been meaning to link this for ages, but this time i finally remembered to do so. If you want to see it, the link is right here. If you have any recommendations, you can send them in asks on my Tumblr @smootnytechnik :3
Chapter 46: Hard truth to swallow
Summary:
TW: Self harm, behaviors that could resemble an eating disorder
Martyn needs a distraction from learning the truth about his situation.
Notes:
This chapter was supposed to come out about 2 hours ago but I got too distracted watching the new pope being selected. I'm not catholic, but living in a catholic country, I wanted to see how fucked I am. So sorry about the chapter being late
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
That night, Martyn did not fall asleep at all.
Every time he closed his eyes for longer than a few minutes, he immediately jerked back awake with that unsettling feeling, like he was falling. Most of the time, he just laid on his back and stared at the faraway stars, which he could swear watched him especially closely that night. Sometimes he tossed and turned in the bed, trying to find a comfortable position - if not to fall asleep, then to at least survive the night. A few times he was close to breaking down in tears, but he held it all back as much as he could. He couldn't show weakness, even when there was no other player watching. He could tell that he was being watched, triggering all his fears and anxieties again every time his feelings threatened to overwhelm him.
And at the same time, Ren slept like a baby. A few times throughout the night, Martyn turned to watch his acquaintance sleep. He quietly snored, his ears or tail twitching ever so often. The blond man sighed, silently wondering what he was dreaming about. How could he sleep so peacefully with everything that he had experienced, and caused...? Did he simply just not care? It's like revealing all the dark secrets of their situation didn't even phase him... And Martyn didn't know if he admired, envied or hated him for that.
They talked very sparsely throughout the evening. Ren asked a few more times whether Martyn is feeling okay, every time receiving an answer that was some variation of 'yes'. That was a pretty obvious lie, but Martyn had no courage to actually speak up about what he was feeling. What he had learned instilled in him the deepest, most primal fear. But it was different than the fear of falling, or fear of being watched that he felt as he plummeted to his death that changed everything. These fears were something he shared with pretty much every human being. But fear of being trapped in an endless time loop of death games, on a whim of a man he felt like he barely knew? That was a sentiment he could never truly share with anyone, and that made him feel even smaller, even lonelier.
Before the sun even rose over the horizon, Martyn got up from his bed, put on his hoodie and left the area they both inhabited. Laying for so long in Ren's company made him feel even more unsettled, and he needed some kind of distraction. Something, anything, to not think about the possibility of his memory, his agency, his life being wiped clean if the man doesn't like the outcome of this game. He headed north, crossing a flimsy bridge connecting their side of the river with the other. He needed to talk to someone... But to whom? Did any of the other players know about their situation? If yes, why didn't they tell him? And if not, would it be wise to tell them? Would they even understand? With each idea on what to do bouncing around Martyn's head, he was feeling more and more sick to his stomach. There was only one person he could think of who maybe knew what happened...
"Ey, there you are!" Martyn jumped and almost screamed upon hearing a voice just over left to him. Grian just crawled out of the base he made together with the other Spanners the previous day - but because the wildcard had already worn off, the space was quite tight for his normal size. "I was wondering where you disappeared... Hey, you alright? You look like you haven't slept at all-"
"I haven't. And I don't know if I'm ever gonna sleep again" Martyn admitted with a bitter laugh, rubbing his eyes.
"Wait, lemme guess... Ren told you?"
Martyn's whole body stiffened.
"Of course you knew about all of this."
"Well, if that makes you feel better..." After crawling out, Grian got up from the ground and shook off his wings. "I only learned about it during Double Life. And he claims that none of our previous version had ever found out-"
"Don't!" Martyn immediately covered his ears and curled up "Don't... Don't talk about this, please. Don't talk about... 'Previous versions of us'. That's... It's making me sick."
Grian tilted his head to the side. That was a visceral reaction... It was clear that the news messed Martyn up. For a second, Grian wondered why he wasn't as affected by the revelation... But then, an idea came to his mind, and he barely stopped himself from smiling.
"Do you need something, man...?"
"A distraction, hopefully..."
"Don't worry. Today's wildcard will give you plenty of opportunities to distract yourself." Grian grinned and patted Martyn on the back, and that gesture was enough for him to flinch and withdraw again. "Wow, he really did mess you up, didn't he...?"
"No shit..." The blond man chuckled nervously. Grian leaned back again.
"Listen... I also think what he did is fucked. And... I have some ideas on what to do with it."
"You do...?"
"Yes. And I might need your help. You in...?"
Martyn looked down at the ground again. It felt like an invitation to betrayal... Something he normally wouldn't mind, but when it came to Ren, another surge of fear went through his body at the idea. He wasn't even sure why... Was he conditioned to react like that at any sign on disloyalty to Ren? How could he know that the dog didn't mess him up further than he could ever imagine...? Martyn crossed his arms, then looked at Grian.
"What do you need me to do?"
The avian grinned.
"Just stay alert. I'll let you know once I need your help. Deal?"
Grian extended his hand to him. Martyn did not accept it, just nodded his head in response.
"Deal."
The moment noon struck, the familiar clicking sound could be heard simultaneously by everyone on the server. Martyn was back at his and Ren's base, smelting all the rare metals the dog had gathered during his morning mining trip. He was asked to come along, but he refused right away. Something about being alone with Ren in the dark made him feel even more anxious.
The moment the clicking sound ended, the blond man got up from his spot and started vigilantly watching his surroundings. He couldn't notice anything out of the ordinary, aside from the fact that the forest around them... Had a stronger smell. Or was he just imagining it? It couldn't be everything that the wildcard of the day was? Especially since Grian said it would be very distracting... Well, a potential sensory overwhelm would be very distracting to Martyn, but that couldn't just be it, right...?
"Oh, there we go, dude!" Martyn did not expect Ren to be standing right behind him, so he jumped from fear and barely held back a scream. He gulped, then forced a smile to appear on his face.
"Yeah, hah... What- What is it this time...?"
Ren chuckled with amusement. How could he be so nonchalant about everything...?
"This is a fun one, dude. Here, try it." He said, holding out an iron ingot towards Martyn. The blond man accepted it, but wasn't quite sure what to do with it. He inspected the item, trying to guess what Ren meant by that. "Oh, right! You can eat it."
"I can what now...?" Martyn looked at him like he was crazy. Maybe he really thought that, but this was another good reason to consider it.
"Try it! I can't tell you what it will do, though, it's not consistent between loops..."
Martyn shivered at the dreaded l-word, then pulled the ingot closer to his mouth. It smelled... Metallic, of course, but also... He couldn't quite identify the smell, but it didn't seem like a smell he would associate with metal. He gave Ren one more 'are you kidding me' stare, then attempted to take a bite.
He expected to hit his teeth on the hard metal, maybe even break a tooth, but the iron immediately gave way. He didn't even notice when he started chewing on the metal, and then swallowed it. It tasted... Surprisingly good. Sweet. A little cold. Almost like hard, very frozen vanilla ice cream. He took one more bite.
"What the hell...?"
"Yeah! We can eat anything with this wildcard! Well, not everything will be good for you, but..."
"Yeah. I can imagine." Martyn nodded, then sat on the ground, continuing to eat the iron ingot. Ren chuckled nervously and hid his hands in his jeans pockets.
"Well, heh, I'll... Go and try to figure out what's safe to eat. Can you stay here? Maybe set up a farm for us? We can't eat normal food today, but it will be useful for later..."
"Mhm. Will do."
Martyn watched Ren leave, then looked back at the remaining part of iron in his hand. Despite just eating something, he could feel himself getting hungry. Now he realized what Grian meant by calling this wildcard 'distracting'...
After setting up a small wheat field, Martyn proceeded to work on figuring out the wildcard himself. They had plenty of resources in their chests, so while Ren was away, he sat in the middle of their storage area, picking out different things and giving them a taste test. Sticks were crunchy and dry. Dirt was getting between his teeth, but also made him float for a few seconds - which also revealed to him that he could gain potion effects from the strange foods. Not all of them were positive though, as coal made his stomach hurt badly for a few minutes. Gold tasted like caramel, and quelled the stomachache. Lapis had this sandy texture and gave him a brief surge of energy, just like a kid who consumed a bag of candy in one sitting. He even ended up consuming his own iron sword, but that resulted in his eyes turning off for a few seconds.
It really was a good distraction, just like Grian said... It was one of the strangest moments of his life, at least the life he could still recall. For a moment, he could just forget that he was eternally trapped by someone who claimed to love him and care for him. He could just focus on all these new tastes, new experiences, as they drew him in and allowed him to not think about anything... For a serious while, it reminded him of his gluttony and indulgence back at Dogwarts, when he took the kingdom all to himself. It was such a good way to distract himself from all his problems, that he wasn't sure why he didn't use it more often... Well, he tried to, during the last game, but the resources were sparse. And he wasn't able to just sit in the middle of a small forest and eat rocks, which tasted just like chicken. Not a very well cooked chicken, though.
Immediately upon consuming a few of the rocks Ren brought from his mining trip, Martyn was hit with a sudden surge of nausea and pain all over his body. He groaned loudly and fell on his back. His hands suddenly felt cold and itchy, and he barely held himself back from throwing up. So the stone was bad for him... Good to know , he thought as he turned on his side and curled up with a pained whine. And just as the pain was spreading and slowly shutting down his body, he heard footsteps approaching him. He tried lifting his head, but he didn't even have the strength to keep his eyes open.
Inthelittlewood died.
Immediately upon waking up, Martyn sat up on his bed, breathing heavily. His body still ached, but he didn't seem to mind. He needed to get back to his distraction, before he started overthinking things again... But then, an amused laughter reached him from where he was just sitting.
"Don't worry, you're not the first to die from this stuff!" Grian chuckled and looked up at him. He was holding a redstone torch in his hands, one end looked like it was bitten off. "How you doin'? Discovered anything fun?"
"The stone."
"Oh yeah, it gives you, like, a crazy potion effect!" Grian chuckled, but his smile faded when he noticed that Martyn got up, approached the chest and grabbed another rock with a bitter expression on his face. "Wait, wait, what are you doing?"
"DIstracting myself."
"No, wait, dude, this is not what I meant! Don't-"
But before he could stop Martyn, he had already taken a big chomp out of the rock. The rough surface scratched his gums, filling his mouth with a bit of blood. And then he grabbed one more rock, to make the effect stronger. Grian grabbed him by the wrist.
"Martyn, stop it! You're gonna get yourself eliminated!"
"So what? Ren's just gonna loop us back again if that happens, right?"
"And you want that?!"
"You make it sound like I have a choice." The blond man grumbled, taking a bite of the other rock. After just a moment, another wave of pain overwhelmed his body, making him fall to his knees with a painful groan. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, not sure if he regretted his decision, or not.
"Shit... I gotta reroll all the effects..." Grian muttered to himself and took a step back. He expected Ren to be back at any moment, and he did not want to look like the culprit... He retrieved back into the sparse woods, quietly watching as Martyn perished yet again.
Inthelittlewood died.
After the first death message, Ren decided to finish his expedition, gather all his things and head back to their base, to check up on Martyn. But the moment he noticed the second one, he bolted towards their hill as fast as he could. Why did his lover died twice, in such a short span of time? Did someone kill him? The death message did not tell who killed him, or didn't even say how he died... There was something, and it made Ren extremely worried. The large, still expanding void rot wound on his back burned with even more pain than usual, as if it was also sensing that something was wrong...
When he finally arrived at the hill, Ren saw Martyn reaching out for another stone straight from their chest. Immediately, he ran up to his friend and grabbed him by the wrists.
"Martyn! What's happening, dude? Why did you die?" He asked, only to be answered by silence, and Martyn's exhausted, pained face. The truth became clear to him in an instant. "You... You did this, didn't you...?"
"Does it matter...?" Martyn chuckled, his eyes instantly tearing up. "If I die, you can just loop us back, right?"
"W-what...?"
"Look at me. I'm broken. You can just turn everything back, get a new, pristine version of me... Not burdened by all these things I wished I never knew about..." His voice began to break. He tried to pull away from Ren's grasp, but not with much force. Ren tightened his grip ever so slightly.
"No, no, Martyn! I-" He bit his lip, not sure what to say. "Please, let's just... Let's just talk, okay? Put these rocks away... They were what killed you, right...?"
The blond man silently nodded. Ren sighed, then handed him a piece of birch wood.
"Here... I found these. They should make you feel better, and won't poison you again... Please...?"
Martyn sighed and looked down at Ren's hands. They were big, warm and surprisingly gentle... He really wanted to push the man away, but at the same time, he craved the comfort he promised. So, he took the piece of wood and took a reluctant bite.
"Tastes like white chocolate, doesn't it...?"
It didn't taste like white chocolate. Instantly, Martyn felt a surge of pain spread throughout his body. He could feel his own organs shutting down, as he fell to his knees. Ren attempted to catch him, but the man fell limp in his arms, then disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
Inthelittlewood died.
The moment Martyn respawned on his bed, Ren ran up to him and hugged him.
"Oh my gosh, dude, I'm so so sorry! I swear it worked before, Grian must've rerolled the effects, and-"
"LET ME GO!" Martyn snapped and pushed the dog away. He was absolutely fuming, breathing heavily as the mask he tried keeping on finally fell. "You wanted this, didn't you?! If I die, you get a reason to restart and try again! To get a better version of me, right? That's what you wanted?" Tears started streaking down his cheeks as he clenched his fists, his nails digging deep into his skin. "Well I tried! I tried being what you wanted, and I failed! So you better just give up and leave me alone!"
"Martyn..."
"Why did you even start this in the first place? Why me?! Why did you want to torture me, specifically?! Do you really hate me that much?!" His voice was already getting raspy from screaming. "Why did you do this?! Why? Tell me!"
"I..." Ren shivered, his ears pinning down and his fingers nervously fidgeting with the blanket. Seeing Martyn shaking, crying, terrified... Terrified of him... Suddenly, a bitter feeling filled his mouth, and it wasn't just because of something strange he ate earlier. He just watched as Martyn turned back, curled up on the bed, then began quietly crying. The dog wanted to move a bit closer, but at the same time, he knew he needed space... "Martyn... I don't hate you... And... I'm so, so, so sorry for everything..."
"Now you're sorry..." Martyn chuckled bitterly. "Do you even know how many loops has it been...?"
"No..."
"But this is probably the worst one, isn't it?" Martyn began coughing, as his crying made it difficult for him to breathe. He tried wiping off the tears, but it was becoming clear that he wouldn't be able to stop anytime soon. "The guy you sacrificed everything for is a total mess... A total, unfixable mess... And what are you gonna do, Uranus...? Restart, and try again...?"
All of a sudden, Ren hugged Martyn from behind and pulled him tightly to himself. He wrapped his arms around his lover's stomach, as if wanting to soothe any remaining pain. He pulled Martyn between his legs, resting his head on his shoulder and holding him as closely as he possibly could. He could feel him trembling, breathing heavily... But at that point, all he wanted, all he wished for, was for all his pain, both physical and mental, to go away and never return. No matter the cost.
"I'm... So sorry." He whispered, his voice also beginning to break. "I should've never started this to begin with... But... But I have. I got to see so many sides of you, but... But this one is the most beautiful of them all."
Martyn shivered. He carefully leaned back into Ren's embrace. His brain was screaming at him, that he was being manipulated, pulled back into this sick loop, and was risking losing everything again... But he didn't have the strength to fight, to run. The best he could do was just leave himself at Ren's mercy. It was not as if any of his choices even mattered at that point.
"You consider this beautiful...?" He chuckled bitterly.
"Yes..." Ren smiled and left a soft kiss on his cheek. "You're all I ever wanted. And... No matter what happens, I promise, I would never change you for another version. I was blind, but... I'll fix this, I promise, I promise, I-"
"You don't have to promise." Martyn whispered, putting his hands on Ren's. He still couldn't understand Ren. Did he not see how much of a mess he had become during these games? How was that acceptable, let alone beautiful, to someone who seemingly has the power to turn back time and retry getting the perfect version of his partner however many times he wanted. "We know that if you decide to loop again, I won't even know about it."
"But I won't! I promise, I-" Ren inhaled sharply. Martyn was right. No words could even convince him of that... So from now on, he had to put his effort into his actions, not his words. He squeezed his lover a bit tighter. "Do you need anything right now? You look tired..."
"I... I'm exhausted." Martyn admitted quietly. Ren pulled him as close as he could, their bodies sharing warmth. He closed his eyes, really hoping that the feeling of falling wouldn't return anytime soon. "But I don't know if I should try to sleep now, it's pretty early-"
"Sleep. I'll be with you the whole time. And if you need something, just tell me."
Eventually, after a lot of time spent by Martyn on finding a comfortable position, he fell asleep in Ren's arms. The dog remained completely silent and still, just gently stroking Martyn's hair and wiping any new tears from his cheeks. He looked so fragile, so vulnerable... Just like the Martyn Ren remembered from the very first loop. At that point, he even started wondering how many other Martyns in the meantime were also like that... Suffering in silence. What if all of them were, but he never picked up on that, too focused on his own goal...? He shivered and left a soft peck on his partner's forehead. He may have messed up in the future, but now his goal was clear. He would never, ever, ever let anyone hurt his lover again. Especially not himself.
Notes:
I really hope you guys enjoy this one, because to be honest, it was really really hard to write ^^" but I think it turned out pretty well? But then again, I thought the last chapter turned out *really* well and guessing by your reception, I was wrong... Hope this one is better. And if you don't like it, please let me know what to change ^^
Chapter 47: When the King becomes the Hand
Summary:
After the mess that was the previous day, Martyn needs to rest and gain back his strength. Ren vows to protect him, but it won't be easy.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The whole night turned out rather uneventful, which finally allowed Martyn to rest a bit. This time, it was Ren who barely slept, as he sat over his lover, stroking his hair and making sure that he was feeling well. Every time the blond man twitched in his sleep, fear filled his heart, as if terrified of him not feeling good. And he deserved to feel good for once, after everything that he experienced... Ren wasn't exactly sure what happened while he was away from the games, but he could tell at least a bit of the damage by just looking at Martyn. He seemed so paranoid and nervous, even before he learned the actual truth... He missed the excited sparks that lit up his eyes every time they talked. He missed hearing his laughter, usually so full of joy and mischief. But at least in sleep, he seemed to be at peace... And Ren treasured that beyond his own life. If that was what he had to protect from now on, then so be it.
When the sun began rising over the horizon, he noticed Martyn slowly waking up. However, right after opening his eyes, the man immediately shut them again and covered his face with his hands. Right away, Ren kneeled right next to them.
"Hey, what's wrong...?"
"My head is killing me..." He grumbled and curled up tightly, like a sleepy cat.
"Well, you cried quite a lot yesterday... Wait, I'll get you some water, you stay right here..."
Ren approached their chests and pulled out a water bottle, which he opened and helped him take a sip. The dog put his hand on Martyn's forehead, trying to take in his temperature.
"You're burning hot... You're sick...?"
"Probably just tired..." Martyn groaned quietly and turned on his back. "Can I just, like... Not do this stuff today...?"
Ren bit his lip. In any other game, he would totally be on board with having Martyn stay in bed and just rest... But this was Wild Life, a game where there was constantly something strange and dangerous going on. Not to mention, since he knew what the wildcard for the day was going to be... Just leaving Martyn here would be extremely dangerous. But on the other hand, he looked so worn out and exhausted, he probably wouldn't be able to hold his own for long... There was only one answer he could think of at the moment. So, he put on a brave face, despite a shiver that just went down his damaged spine.
"Yeah, no worries! And I'll make sure nobody disturbs you. Just stay in bed, I'll take care of everything-"
"And what about the wildcard...?"
"It's, uh..." Ren's ears pinned down as he tried to think of a convincing lie. "It's gonna be, um... Nothing special, I promise."
"Really?"
"Yeah! Just, uh... Ice cream falling from the sky...?" He announced in a nervous tone, not sure why this was the first thought that came to his mind. Maybe he was just hungry, or still had the previous wildcard on his mind. Martyn opened one tired, teary eye and looked at him with a faint smirk.
"You're making me miss out on ice cream rain? Are you suggesting something?" He chuckled and patted his stomach. That damned smile, that always made Ren feel weak in his knees... Every single version of his that he'd ever seen had this effect on him. Immediately, Ren laid down next to him.
"No, no, absolutely not, I promise... You're gorgeous, dude..."
"But you're making me miss out. Shame on you."
"Shame on me." Ren agreed and gently caressed Martyn's hair. "I'll save some for you. I promise."
Martyn nodded and nuzzled his cheek against Ren's hand. That little gesture was enough to make the dog's heart flutter... And Matryn clearly picked up on that, as he spoke up again.
"Don't think of it too much. I'm still mad at you. But... I guess you might make it up to me with time."
"I will. I promise. No matter what it takes, I will make it up to you."
"Mhm. Good."
It didn't take Martyn long to fall asleep again. He curled up on the bed, only half covered with his blanket, tightly hugging Ren's pillow like a makeshift plushie. The dog sighed, then began working around their base, finally beginning to build a wall around the perimeter of their hill. He was aware that it wouldn't help them much that day... But he was adamant to protect Martyn, no matter how many of his own lives that would cost him.
As he stood over their storage and considered shielding Martyn in a little stone building, so that the wildcard would not affect him as quickly, he heard a mischievous giggle coming from over the wall. He groaned and turned around, witnessing as Grian climbed the wall and was now watching him with a big grin.
"Hey Ren... How did it go...?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I know you and Martyn had a talk yesterday... I didn't hang around the whole thing, bit-"
"Don't- Don't even tell me that." Ren shivered and turned away from him. "You don't have to pry into our business. I messed up and I'm working on fixing it. And I don't need your help."
"Bold of you to assume I wanted to help." Grian chuckled, then gestured with his head at Martyn. "What's up with him?"
"He's resting. He's sick."
"You made him sick by telling him the truth? Wow..."
Grian giggled, but then froze in place when he noticed a blade almost touching his throat. Ren was the one holding the weapon, and by his expression Grian could clearly see that he was done joking around.
"Shut up. I know you don't want to help, but do have enough courtesy to at least not ruin this for us, dude?"
Grian slowly let out the air he was holding in his lungs, then moved over a bit, away from the blade.
"Did you tell him about the wildcard for today?"
"No. If I did, he probably wouldn't want to stay in bed. And I'd rather protect him while he's here, rather than see him try and fail in his state."
"Good point." Grian smirked, then stood up on the wall and opened his wings. "I guess it's a good thing we all have six lives this time around, ey?"
"You can go now. I don't need your pity."
"You're not getting any." Grian grinned, then jumped down the wall and headed down the hill. "Good luck, Uranus!"
Soon after, the ticking sound crossed the air. Ren looked nervously towards the bed, but the sound didn't seem to wake Martyn up. He inhaled deeply, then pulled out his sword.
"Come on, you bastards..."
It only took a minute or two for Ren to notice two big snails, crawling their way towards the hill. One of them a bit bigger, with a red shell, and the other smaller, its shell colored brown and green. He gritted his teeth, but took a step back. He knew exactly what was coming... All he could do was hope that Grian would do what he did in some previous loops, and turn the wildcard off early. However, since Grian knew about Ren's endeavor to keep Martyn safe, he expected to not be granted such an easy escape.
Ren barely muffled his scream as his snail leaped right at him with the nauseating blabber. The other, smaller snail continued to crawl towards the bed. Before it could make its way over to the sleeping Martyn, Ren jumped towards it and grabbed it by the shell. A painful shiver crossed his body. So the rules haven't changed - he could touch someone else's snail without dying, but it was still painful as ever. The dog grunted and pulled himself up from the bed, narrowly avoiding his own snail. The gastropod landed on Martyn's side, and Ren gasped, terrified that it would wake up his lover. He was so stunned that for a second, he just silently watched as Martyn yawned, but returned right back to sleep. The man sighed with relief, but then evaded his new mortal enemy yet again.
"Out with you!" He groaned with frustration and tossed Martyn's snail with all his might.
His body was still weakened and only allowed him to throw the murderous animal just over the wall, but at least it was away for now. He hid his sword and grabbed an empty bucket, then bolted out of their base. That plan already worked in the past, so he could only hope that Grian did not change anything...
"Gotcha!" Ren yelled as he jumped towards Martyn's snail and covered it with a bucket. He then quickly lifted it and began running away with it, still hearing his own snail crying behind him. The smaller gastropod attempted to slide out of the bucket, so he pushed it back inside, trying to ignore the pain that it cost him. Did it hurt more than usual, or was he just misremembering? Or was it his damaged nervous system that was more fragile to pain like this? He huffed and looked down at the snail, his expression serious, as if he expected the animal to understand him. "Listen, I know why you're here. But, the one you're trying to kill is my dear boyfriend, and I won't let you touch him. Got it? Don't even-"
Ren suddenly cut his sentence short as he tripped over something... And a wave of pain shook his body, immediately making him turn into a cloud of smoke.
Rendog was slain by Renthesnail.
"Dang it!" Ren yelled as soon as he respawned, but immediately covered his mouth when Martyn twitched on the bed.
"Ren...? How's it going...?"
"It's, uh, it's going well!" He immediately replied, trying to reassure Martyn. "It's so tasty, dude!"
"Gimme some-"
"You'll get some once you're feeling better, I promise. You don't wanna get a brain freeze, do you?"
"I guess..." Martyn muttered, then buried himself back in his blanket. Ren sighed and fondly stroked the man's hair. He adored seeing him so vulnerable... Of course, he loved how his Hand could be fearless and bold, but seeing him so soft and delicate was what he really adored. He was just so human, so real, so-
"Shit!" Ren accidentally cursed as he narrowly avoided his snail, which came out of nowhere. He still couldn't believe how he managed to trip over it earlier; wasn't it just behind him as he ran away? He groaned, then pulled himself up from the bed and ran outside again, to keep the snails as far away from his lover as he could.
Grian narrowly avoided his snail, a startled hiss slipping his lips. He opened his wings, as if to give himself more maneuverability.
"Mumbo,watch out! Mumbo!" He screamed out. His friend's head perked up, and he just barely stepped away from his own snail, which almost claimed his life.
"Grian! Why did you create these things?!" Skizz yelled out to them, running out of their newly built base moments after perishing to his own snails.
"I- I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at first!"
"Can't you just turn them off?" Mumbo asked, running up to his teammate.
Grian opened his mouth, but shut it right after. He could, of course he could... He was the one in charge, no matter what anyone thought. But, a deep part of him wanted to not do that... Just to spite Ren. It seemed petty and stupid, sure, as if he wanted to see him suffer more than he wanted to help his friends... But he couldn't deny that he was still upset. Upset at Ren, for causing all of these games to spiral out of control like this. Upset at himself, for not noticing his weird behavior earlier. Even upset at the previous versions of himself, for not stopping this madness earlier and leaving him to deal with it... Did they actually never pick on Ren's weirdness, or just failed? Was Grian doomed to repeat their mistakes, or-
"Grian! Move!"
Grian was so deep in his thoughts and insecurities, that he didn't even notice how his snail made his way over to him. He had simply no time to react, as the giant snail leaped in the air and landed right on his face.
Grian was slain by Gary.
"Dang it!" Grian respawned on their small starting island and sighed. He didn't have much time, his snail would ger over to him soon... He pulled himself up and was ready to run back towards his base, before he noticed something. Ren was heading somewhere along the riverbank, with a bucket in his hands and his own snail following him. Grian grinned, then decided to run after him.
"Hey Ren!" He chuckled as he made his way over the water. "Where are you headed?"
"Don't worry, it doesn't involve you." Ren grumbled and didn't even look at him. Grian climbed on the shore and smirked.
"And how's Martyn doing? Still asleep?"
"Yes. I told him I'd protect him, and I will, so-"
Before he could finish, Grian suddenly started choking. Ren took a step back, unsure on what to do. He was fine just a second ago... Why was he suddenly struggling to catch his breath? He tilted his head, but then noticed Grian's wet feathers. He couldn't help but smile.
"Your snail went for a swim, huh?" He chuckled and kneeled over Grian.
"Sh... Shut up..." Grian wheezed, before he dropped on the ground. Ren sighed with a faint smile and got up again, only for his own snail to finish crawling up to him and jump right on top of his spine. Ren let out a pained scream, before the murderous gastropod claimed his life again.
Grian drowned.
Rendog was slain by Renthesnail.
The day was dragging on and with each attempt to save his and his partner's life, Ren was getting more and more frustrated. He managed to safely dispose of Martyn's snail, but he knew it would be a matter of time before it would return, and the wild goose chase would resume. As he finally arrived back at his base, he yet again heard his snail cry after him. He growled, his ears pinning down and his tail fluffing up as he stared at the animal.
"What do you want from me?" He grunted. "Haven't you had enough? You killed me hundreds of times throughout all these loops! Isn't that enough?!"
"Wooo-whey!" The snail whined, clearly unmoved by Ren's emotional state. The dog let out another pained snarl.
"I get it! I messed up, and I have to get punished! But why this?! I'm trying to fix this! So leave me alone!"
The gastropod was just a few feet away, but this time, Ren did not move away. His anger and frustration, and maybe even disgust towards himself, and this big cruel world was enough to keep him in place, even if he knew what was going to happen. He could already feel the smiley touch of the predator, like a wet, sloppy kiss of death. The moment the snail leaped at him, he reached out his hands and grabbed the animal. He let out a scream as his whole spinal cord burned in pain. Maybe he could prevail, maybe he could still fix it, maybe he could-
Rendog was slain by Renthesnail.
Ren respawned on the bed right next to Martyn, and immediately gasped for air. His whole body was shaking, as the phantom pain still rocked his back. The deaths from the snails were coming faster than he expected, and his already damaged system was not keeping up. He could not even move when he noticed his snail beginning to crawl towards the bed. If it got up on it, that would be the end for Ren... But he couldn't do anything, other than watch. Yet again, he messed up and ruined everything... He would get killed over and over again, and Martyn would get hurt as well... All because he couldn't keep two snails away for a day. And he was supposed to save everyone through constantly redoing the games? Pathetic... He covered his face with his hands, as if wanting to shield himself in a last-ditch attempt. Another painful 'walalala' reached him, before...
Something hard gently touched his arms, then fell right in front of him. But he was alive... He was okay. He looked down, only to notice his snail's empty shell, laying on his pillow. The other gastropod's shell was lying not too far away, just a few feet from the bed. Ren carefully picked up the shell, then sighed with relief.
"Finally... Thank gods..." He whispered, then collapsed on the bed.
When the sun was beginning to set, Martyn finally woke up. He sat up on the bed and stretched with a big yawn. Guessing by the time of day, the wildcard had probably just ran out... But there were no signs of the ice cream rain that Ren talked about. The only thing out of the ordinary around them were two colorful, spiral shells, laying on the grass next to the bed. Martyn chuckled and rolled his eyes. Whatever that was about, he already guessed that Ren was lying... He wasn't even going to add if he really did save something for him.
The blond man wanted to get up, but then noticed Ren laying right next to him, snoring quietly as he slept. He smiled fondly and pulled his hand over his hair. He wasn't sure what exactly happened, but Ren's current state probably wasn't unrelated... Maybe he really was trying to fix things.
Martyn sighed, then laid back down and wrapped his arms around Ren, watching out for the wound on his back. Another small nap together wouldn't hurt.
Notes:
If I had a nickel for every time I wrote a Treebark story that involved the snails, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's be enough to piss off Jimmy Solidarity.
I hope you don't mind that this chapter is a bit more silly and loose, after the two previous ones that were very heavy in comparison :3
Chapter 48: Looking for answers
Summary:
Ren and Martyn are unsure on how to deal with each other, now that both of them know about their situations. They're both looking for answers on how to solve this difficult situation, even if their ideas might hurt one another.
Notes:
Before this chapter, I wanted to make a quick PSA.
As some of you may know, a few months ago (it was in the middle of March iirc) someone scraped AO3 for texts published here to use it to train a language learning model. At that time, I didn't give that much thought, especially when I learned that the AI that was supposed to learn off of that had been disabled (or something like that, sorry if I'm mixing things up but I'm not very knowledgeable when it comes to LLMs). However, today while scrolling Tumblr, I came upon a tool that allowed me to check whether my fics were scraped and, wouldn't you know it, over 20 of my works were scraped this way - including this fic, or rather its first 35 chapters. Had I put this fic behind 'registered users only' wall, maybe this would've happened.
Despite that, I decided to not lock my fics only for registered users *yet*. Despite how upset that made me, I know there is nothing I can really do, and I still want my stories to be accessible to people who enjoy them, registered users or not. However, I cannot promise that it will always stay like that and if something like that happens again, I might have to resort to locking my fics and make them only accessible to registered users. Because of that, I would like to tell you - if you enjoy reading my, and not only my work on this site, consider making an account. This will make things easier and safer for everyone. If I ever change my mind and decide to lock my texts, I will let you know - I'd rather not have to do that, but it might become a necessity in the future.Sorry for being such a downer. I'm sure no AI could handle this much content about traumatized gay minecraft men :>
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Okay, that wildcard was... A lot" Martyn huffed as he and Ren fell on top of their bed. The sun already disappeared under the horizon, rendering the sky a dark lavender color, devoid of stars as of yet. He turned his head to his friend "It's a good thing I have a guy who remembers everything about everything..."
"Oh believe me, dude, it wasn't that easy" Ren smirked. "A few times I almost answered wrong, because I was thinking about another loop... Like that question about who won Limited Life. I kept staring at it and thinking 'Why isn't Impulse an answer?'"
"Wow, rude." The blond man chuckled and gently bumped his shoulder. "Still can't believe that I won, hm?"
"I was just so used to you dying trying to save my ass, dude!" Ren immediately defended himself with an amused laughter. He really hoped Martyn didn't hear the tinge of fear in his voice. He was almost sure that Martyn wasn't actually upset about this... Almost.
"Woooow..." Martyn bumped him again, then looked up at the sky "Does that mean I'm better off without you?"
"Maybe... Maybe you're right..." Ren added quietly, his stare following Martyn's.
After the crashout that his lover went through on their second day of the server, Ren did whatever he could do make it up to him. He took every possible chance to make Martyn feel safe, seen and appreciated. He spent whole evenings snuggling, and he woke up early to get them both something to eat. If he only had resources to do more, he would've done so much more for him... But for now, he was limited by having to survive all the dangers of this game. He didn't have to be as careful during all the previous games, but this one was different. He had to be the last one standing, so that he could get himself and Martyn out of here safely, so that he could finally wish for their actual happy ending. And if he had to be the last one standing... That meant everyone else had to die. But at that moment, he kept that idea as far away from himself as he could.
"Maybe I am better off without you... But it wouldn't be as fun."
That comment caught Ren so off guard that he almost started screaming. He immediately covered his mouth, only letting out a high whimper. Martyn looked over at him and bursted out laughing.
"You okay?"
"What? Yeah, uh, totally chill, dude."
"Mhm..." Martyn smiled and looked over at Ren's tail. It was wagging furiously from side to side, so fast that he was at actual risk of actually hurting it. He then sat up, and leaned over his friend. "Come on, you don't have to lie to me..."
Ren opened his mouth, but he was so taken aback that he couldn't even speak. He just nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence and just hoping that Martyn knew what he meant by that. At that point, he didn't even really want to move, as if the smallest movement would end all of this like it was just a dream. Finally, after several seconds of just staring at Martyn's face without even blinking, he reached out his hand. And then, touched his cheek with the most care and reverence he could. He didn't disappear... He was actually there. Looking down at him with something more than just disgust and anger.
"Are you... Are you not mad at me anymore...?"
Martyn blinked, then immediately backed away. He rubbed his cheek in the spot Ren touched, as if that place suddenly began burning. He hated that question, yet he had to hear it every day at least a few times. And each time, the answer was the same.
"No."
Ren gulped, then moved back from him. He understood Martyn... Or at least, wanted to understand. Of course, after what happened between them, he wouldn't be forgiven anytime soon. And it was probably foolish of him to ask, and to expect a different answer. Of course he was still mad at him. He hurt him, he hurt him repeatedly, and kept the truth from him for gods know how long... Ren curled up and silently watched as Martyn got up from the bed.
"I... I need to go. For a walk." He hummed and turned away from the base, towards the more populated side of the server. "I'll try to be back before midnight."
"Yeah, sure. And, uh... I'm sorry."
"I know."
Martyn sighed, then finally stepped away from the bed. He climbed over the wall shielding them from the rest of the world, then disappeared between the trees.
He felt bad every time he had to confirm to Ren that yes, he was still upset about everything that happened. He always made this sad expression of a beaten dog, with these huge eyes, but... How could he not be? He's been repeatedly lied to, forced into a situation where he couldn't even decide for himself... And all of it, supposedly, in the name of love. If this was really what love looked like, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to actually experience it. He wouldn't do the same thing to Ren... Did that mean he didn't love him? Or was Ren just... Weird? He shook his head, then hid his hands in his pockets. He couldn't show fully how upset he was... Out of fear that he would reset everything again. He could only hope that if Ren said that this was the last loop, and he would never bring them back to the start... But he could never know for sure how many times he'd already said that, could he...?
Ren sat there on the bed, watching Martyn leave. He sighed quietly. They had such good fun together, and he had to ruin everything. Maybe that was just all he could do. Ruin things. A quiet voice in the back of his head nagged him, that if Martyn wouldn't stop being mad at him, he could always loop them back and try again to get this perfect loop the next time... But even thinking about looping again made the wound on his back burn. Doing this again wouldn't just hurt Martyn... It had the potential to kill him. But if he had to do it...
Ren growled at himself, as his nails dug deep into the skin on his arm. He didn't have to do it. This whole situation was his fault, and his fault only. Nobody told him to do it. He started it... And then didn't have the courage to actually finish. Every single time, something would go wrong. He couldn't afford to mess up again... For both their sakes.
As Ren moved over on the bed to lie down more comfortably, he noticed something laying under one of their pillows. Curiously, he reached over there with his hand, trying to get a feel. It was pretty large, rectangular and covered with leather... His heart began pounding as he remembered what that was. He tossed the pillow aside to confirm his suspicions.
Martyn left his journal under his pillow. Now that he left, Ren was free to look through and learn exactly what his lover thought all this time. Especially when he wasn't around, during this loop's Limited and Secret Life... Immediately, he pulled his hand away. No, he couldn't... That would be a huge breach of his privacy. He already wanted to do it once, back during Last Life... But then again, he remembered all the previous loops. Maybe besides the first few. It was an amazing source of information about how to approach Martyn, and how to fix everything... The dog bit his tongue, unsure what to do. Martyn would be furious if he learned about it... But he was mad at him either way, wasn't he...?
Ren took a deep breath, then carefully grabbed the cover of the journal. At this point, he was desperate to make this work.
Martyn sat on the stairs leading up to Mount Bam. He silently watched as the sky was getting darker and darker, and more stars finally made their long awaited appearance. Despite the feeling they gave him, the feeling of being watched by thousands of pairs of eyes, he enjoyed the illusion of being alone. The past few days were a lot, and his head was louder than ever. He finally learned the truth, but this truth was neither what he expected, nor what he wanted... And he wished that he could confide in someone. Ren was a no go, of course - he started all of this and somewhere deep down, Martyn still feared him, and the possibility of losing his memory again. And as far as he knew, none of the other players actually knew about being in an endless loop of death games. None of them, besides...
"There you are!" Martyn flinched upon hearing Grian's voice right above his head. He flinched and moved a few steps down, not wanting the runner of the games to be so close to him.
"Geez! Why do you always do this, man?!" He groaned.
"Do what?"
"Appear at the most inconvenient time."
"Well, and you always appear whenever I wanna talk to you!"
"Why do you wanna- Oh." Martyn grunted when Grian sat right besides him, one of his lesser wings smacking the blond man in the face.
"How are you doing? You slept through the snailpocalypse, and I've barely seen you yesterday and today-"
"Sna-what now?"
"Oh, Ren hasn't told you that either?" Grian smirked, then folded his wings again. Martyn began rubbing the place where he was hit.
"No... What did he do...?"
"Well, the whole day three, which you spent sleeping... He was defending you from the snails."
"Snails...?"
"Yeah! The third wildcard! A snail that follows you, and if it touches you, it kills you!" Grian grinned as he explained the concept. He seemed proud of this creation, almost like it was his child. Martyn frowned at the idea, barely able to believe that he was actually telling him the truth. But then again, after all he's learned, that wasn't the strangest thing that could've happened.
"He told me that the wildcard was ice cream rain..."
Grian immediately began laughing, to the point his wings started trembling. Martyn's face went fully red, as if he was embarrassed to confide that in him.
"Don't laugh at me! That was not my idea!"
"Oh wow, dude..." Grian couldn't help giggling. "I mean, sounds awesome, but does it really sound like something I would do?"
"Oh. Right. I forgot you hate all of us."
"I don't..." The avian's tone suddenly changed to dead serious. "If I didn't I wouldn't actively try to free you and everyone else from this stupid loop."
Martyn shivered. He still hated hearing that word. His reaction to it was no longer so visceral, but it was still something he'd rather forget about.
"And? How's that going for you?"
"I have an idea. You remember what happened after you won Limited Life?"
"Yeah. I died. And then we moved on to Secret Life."
"Didn't something happen before we moved on?"
Martyn opened his mouth to deny him, but then the memory struck him again. He remembered falling, and... Hearing something. Someone. The Watchers... Asking him to make a wish. He asked who was talking to him... And they interpreted that as a wish. He repeated all of that to Grian, with as much detail as he could, and the avian nodded with an understanding hum.
"See... This is what happens after someone wins. The idea is, they get to make a wish. It can be anything, like wanting to know about the Watchers..."
"Or asking for all the games to loop. To return all the way back to the beginning."
"Now you see what he's done?"
Martyn pulled his knees close to his chest. All this time, he couldn't understand what Ren meant, when he said he talked to the Watchers. He wasn't one of them... So this was the only way he could pull this off. He would have to win this game in every previous loop, and ask to turn all of this back to the beginning... How many times did he have to be the last one standing, to pull all of this off...?
"What are you suggesting...?"
"If I win, I can talk to the Watchers and stop the games from looping."
"Or you can throw us into some deeper shit."
"What do you prefer? Ending in another game, or having your memory erased all over again?"
Grian's voice was colder and more forceful, maybe even a bit more than he wanted it to be. But this was his only chance to convince Martyn, before both of them would be wiped again... He needed a man on the inside, someone who could ruin Ren's plans and ultimately lead to his downfall. He silently watched as Martyn's expression changed. From unimpressed, to thoughtful, to angry, to... Scared. Exactly what he needed. A moment later, the man furrowed his brows and looked up at him.
"It doesn't matter if you win. As long as he doesn't, none of us is crazy enough to even think about looping everything back."
Grian shrugged.
"Fine. If that makes you feel better... We can even make you win. As long as you know what to wish for, to not start this over again..."
Yet again, he could barely hold back a smile when he noticed the uncertainty on his friend's face. Martyn began fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie. Maybe Grian was wrong... His wish did come true, but in a painful way. One that maybe he wouldn't even ask for, knowing all the repercussions. And if he made a wrong decision - given that he'd turn out to be the last man standing - he could be the one trapping everyone... Wiping everyone's memories. Maybe even his own. Grian was right, he was the only one who could stop it...
And this is exactly what Grian needed him to believe.
"What do you need to win?"
The avian finally grinned.
"I have a plan. But it will involve the wildcard that happens the day after tomorrow."
"What is it?"
Grian took a quick glance around, to make sure nobody heard them. He then leaned over and whispered something right into Martyn's ear. He flinched at how close the man got to him, but listened to every detail.
"What...?"
"I won't spoil you the fun." Grian giggled. "But... Right after you get your power, meet me as soon as you can. I'll explain the rest then."
"You don't even want to tell me my power? Come on..." Martyn chuckled bitterly, really hoping that at least one person would finally stop keeping him in the dark. With every new thing that he learned, he resented his own unawareness more and more.
"Don't worry, you'll enjoy it... Will remind you of the good ol' days."
"I have no idea what that means, but whatever." Martyn sighed, then got up from his place. "Do you need me for anything else...?"
"No, you can go. Just... Be careful out there, okay? He will probably try to manipulate you, or try to stop you... Don't let him."
"Of course. I'm not stupid."
Grian did not reply to that. He also got up, but despite heading the same as Martyn, he stood in place, watching him leave. He could only hope that it would go smoothly...
And they wouldn't just repeat their mistakes from the previous loops.
"Sorry it took so long..." Martyn announced as he entered their base, but lowered his tone the moment he noticed Ren sleeping on their bed. He smiled fondly, then approached him and sat right next to him. He looked so peaceful while he was sleeping... But seeing all the damage the other loops had done to him made Martyn's smile fade immediately. Thin, black veins crawled their way up his neck, almost reaching his jawbone. His long, dark hair had a few small, grey streaks... Although in the light of a torch, they looked more blond than grey. And he definitely needed to shave... Maybe Martyn could suggest that in the morning, if they had the time before the next wildcard kicks in. He chuckled to himself and let his own head fall next to Ren's...
Before he hit the back of his head on something hard.
He pulled himself up with a pained hiss, then looked down at his pillow. But the pillow wasn't there... It laid a few feet away - not like it just fell, rather as if someone tossed it away. And in its place laid... Martyn's journal. He immediately grabbed it and pulled it close, then began looking through it. There were no marks of anyone looking through it... But it was there, out in the open. He was almost surprised how he didn't notice it was there... Martyn;s stomach dropped, as he looked back at Ren. Did he... Read through his journal?
No, he wouldn't... That would be a disgusting breach of privacy. And he would never commit something like that, right? Although, he had done much worse things... Like trapping them in a seemingly endless time loop... Martyn shivered and laid down again. This time, a bit further away from Ren.
Now he just wished he never noticed that. He wished that idea never forced itself into his brain. Maybe then he wouldn't have such problems falling asleep that night, since the only thought in his mind was, whether anything Ren had told him was ever truthful.
Notes:
I'm actually curious what you guys think - did Ren actually read Martyn's journal or did he resist the temptation? Let me know :3
Also, enjoy the last somewhat calm chapter. Cuz from the next one, shit is going down, and it's going down FAST :>>>
Chapter 49: The one thing that never changes, pt. 1
Summary:
The day that Ren had dreaded the most comes. He has one last chance to figure out how to change the course of history and give himself and Martyn their happy ending.
Notes:
Strap the fuck in everyone, we're officially entering the endgame!
Also, one more, very short PSA - HTS has officially surpassed Canary's thrill in the number of hits, becoming my most popular fic on ao3! Big thanks to all of you, it means so much to me! I wonder whether it will reach 6k hits before the whole fic concludes, but my humble guess is that yes, it will :3 (but probably not much more)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Since the sun rose over the horizon for the seventh time, Ren knew what was coming.
The previous day, and its wildcard turned out less eventful than he expected. That didn't mean it went smoothly - as the wildcard dispersed and the night took over the server, both Ren and Martyn went to bed with two lives left. They didn't speak much - the tension between them could be felt even by people who didn't know the truth about their situation. Martyn seemed quiet and distant, but did not turn down any signs of affection that Ren extended to him. The dog patiently waited for his attempts to be reciprocated, but he was aware that he was in for the long wait. He even stopped asking Martyn whether he stopped being mad at him, as he knew the answer already.
Even before the moon disappeared under the horizon, Ren was already wide awake, silently listening to his lover breathing. His mind was rushing through all the scenarios of this day that he could remember. Today was the day where everything would become clear - whether he finally found the winning formula, or was he doomed to ruin everything once again. He stared at the sky as it slowly turned from deep navy to greyish lavender, reminiscing about the previous loops. No matter how well a loop went, this was the day where everything crumbled one way or the other. Whenever he thought he found a way to fix things, the next loop would bring a new way to rip his heart out of his chest. The numerous images of Martyn perishing in front of his eyes flashed before his eyes. He could still remember the pain of every single failed attempt. He remembered holding his partner's hand as he took his last breath. He remembered burying somewhere far away from everyone. No matter what he tried, what he told Martyn, something went wrong. And this loop was the toughest one of them all.
How was he supposed to give them their happy ending now...?
Ren turned on his side and took a quick glance at Martyn. He was still sleeping peacefully, his body wrapped around a pillow, clinging to it for comfort. He took his headband off, letting his long hair fall all over his face. While awake, there was this energetic spark always present in his eyes, but as soon as he fell asleep, he looked like the most peaceful person in this big scary world. Ren reached out his hand to stroke his hair, but pulled back his hand. He flinched when noticing how his whole arm was shaking from the stress. He was so frail, so vulnerable, so... Ephemeral. As if even the lightest touch could cause him to be taken away from Ren. And he would have to start all over again...
As the idea returned to his head, Ren turned away from him again. He promised him. He promised that this is the last loop, that he would never pull them through all of this again... But he also promised to protect him at any cost. So what if he failed? The more he pushed away the idea of looping again, the more it gnawed at him. Just one last time, so that he could finally do everything perfectly, give them their well deserved happy ending...
But every loop was supposed to be the last one. Each time, he promised himself that it would be the last time. And each time, he needed to break the self-made promise. But not this time... He promised Martyn. That was different. Every time he saw Martyn's trusting eyes, it was like a knife to his heart, and everytime the expression faded, the knife twisted. He promised that he would never hurt him with another loop again... But if he looped them back again, Martyn would never know. Ren would get one more chance. He would just have to make sure the truth never saw the light of day again.
Ren tossed and turned on the bed, trying to think of a solution to his very unique and dreadful dilemma. There was no good solution, was it? Either way, they would get hurt. He no longer even took his own injury, caused by void rot, into the equation. He expected that part to stay with him until the very end, as a gruesome, painful reminder of his failure. But Martyn didn't deserve any of that...
Eventually, he sat up on the bed, thinking. Today's wildcard really did live up to its name. Everyone was to receive a brand new, personalized superpower. Luckily, the powers stayed consistent throughout the loops, at least thus far. Ren knew that it gave him an unfair advantage - he knew everyone's power and all of their strong and weak points. His own power, that allowed him to shapeshift into other people, was not especially strong. After so many attempts, he learned when and how to use it well, but it was not the most combat-oriented or flashy. Martyn's power was even more difficult to use, and was only really useful for gathering intel. Sometimes, Ren even wished that they could switch, so that Martyn could use the more useful shapeshifting, and maybe stay alive that way...
No matter what Ren tried, the day always ended with a funeral. He tried playing the game normally, together with Martyn. He tried putting all of his effort into protecting him, and neglecting his own safety. He tried protecting their base from anyone, trapping Martyn inside like a princess on a high tower. He tried not leaving the base together with him, and hoping that people would leave them alone. They never did.
There was one more option. He looked back at Martyn, considering the one thing he never tried. Martyn would hate him for that...
But at that point, it was his last chance. And he had already spent this loop only making bad decisions.
When Martyn woke up, the whole hill seemed quiet and peaceful. He rubbed his eyes, then reached under his pillow to grab his headband and get his hair in order.
"Mmmm... Good morning, Ren..." He hummed, but then opened his eyes as he heard no response. All it took was a glance around for him to realize that the base was empty. "Ren...?"
Martyn got up right away. Usually Ren was the one who woke up late... Why would he leave so soon? The man scrunched his nose, as he looked at his surroundings one more time. There was no sight of the pointy ears of a quick wagging tail anywhere...
The only sign that Ren was even there to begin with was a piece of paper, laying on an empty pillow. For a moment he hesitated, before finally taking it and taking in the message.
STAY HERE
Please.
-Ren
"Oh... What a nice surprise." Martyn grumbled and rolled his eyes. He sat on the bed and pulled his hands over his face, after crumbling the piece of paper and tossing it away. He remembered noticing how nervous Ren seemed the previous evening, but decided not to pry into his business. He really hoped it was an unrelated matter, and not some kind of memory from one of the previous loops. As much as he possibly could, he tried forgetting about the loops even being a thing. But it was always dangling over his head, forcing him to lay low and weigh his every word. Sometimes, he wondered how similar he was to the previous versions of himself. Sometimes, he'd punch himself to stop himself from thinking about that.
Martyn looked over at the crumpled piece of paper. No explanation, no word of support, nothing... Just a command. As if he was in a position of power... As if they were back at Dogwarts. But that time, Martyn took his chance and struck his king down... Not very gracefully or consciously, but he did. Who was Ren to command him like that...?
A god, probably. Someone who decided to lock them in this loop for a reason Martyn couldn't quite grasp, and not let either of them escape until he would say so. Martyn grunted at the grim reminder. He still wasn't exactly sure what to think of Ren, because of all of that. Most of the time he was kind, and good-spirited, and caring, and goofy... But the sinister aura of all the loops followed him like a shadow. He probably knew more about Martyn than he knew about himself... And that idea terrified the man. As if he had no control over his own life anymore. And now he tried doing it again... He tried telling him what to do. To stay put, and not bring any trouble upon himself. Martyn grunted, then got up from the bed.
"Yeah, as if that's ever going to happen..."
At first, Martyn did stay around the base, sorting through their resources and reinforcing their walls. But then, as morning turned into noon and the clicking sound cut through the air, he stood in place and waited patiently for the new wildcard to appear. Ren had never told him about any of the wildcards before they manifested... Not counting the supposed ice cream rain, which turned out to actually be an attack of the killer snails. But after what happened in the past few days, he was at a complete loss. Size change, everything becoming edible, the snails, time dilation, trivia bots, animals appearing randomly around the server... And this time, as the clicking sound came to an end, he was only answered by silence. Nothing came, nothing appeared.
"So...?" He grunted to himself as he approached the wall. He could see most of the players gathered on the land between Mount Bam and a few ugly houses belonging to the Tuff guys. And he could also see Ren between them... Martyn bit his tongue, as a bitter taste filled his mouth. "Yeah, right, leave me here and go hang out with them, sure..."
Ren did not spot Martyn standing on the edge of their base, watching them. He was already too busy with other ideas he had to make sure the day would go as he needed it to. As all of the players began showing off their powers, he approached Cleo and tapped her shoulder.
"Hi, Cleo..." He said, waiting for the zombie to turn to them. "Can we, um, talk?"
"A moment, I'm trying to figure out this stupid power of mine..." Cleo grunted as they looked at their hands, unable to work out their power. Ren's ears perked up.
"Oh. You need to crouch and touch the ground."
Cleo looked up at him like an idiot, but then decided to actually listen to him. They crouched and rested their palms against the ground. Her teammates stepped away as the land around them trembled, and then cracked. In a matter of moments, the ground opened and two zombies, both wearing torn suits and with rot beginning to cover their bodies, crawled out. Scott, BigB, Pearl and Impulse gasped, some of them shocked, some disgusted. The zombies looked at them, and then at each other, and then at Cleo.
"Hi Clebert!" Skizz tried pulling Cleo into a hug, but she kept him at an arm's length. "Whoa! What did we miss?"
"Skizz? When did you die?" Mumbo tilted his head.
"Oh, long story, I-"
"How did you know?" Cleo looked back at Ren. The dog nervously chuckled.
"It- It's not important, really... I need a favor."
"Oh yeah?" Scott crossed his arms. "What is that?"
"I need someone to keep an eye on our base. Me and Martyn's, I mean. I told him to stay put today, and I don't want anyone to come near there..."
"And why can't you do that?" Pearl chuckled bitterly. "You think any of us want to deal with that freak?"
Ren almost growled at her, but at the last moment, he held back. Not now. He needed to be in their good graces to make this work.
"It's important to me... Please. I'll do anything."
Cleo watched Ren for a moment. She has never seen him this serious, this worried, this... Sad. She almost thought of the word 'genuine', but that wasn't it - Ren was always genuine, but usually, in a positive way... But this time, he seems actually upset about something. Did a fight break out between him and Martyn? Why couldn't he just trust that Martyn would be fine? The zombie bit her lip, but then looked at the zombies of her own making. She wouldn't be doing this for Martyn, she thought. It was for Ren.
"Skizz, Mumbo, go over there and make sure that Martyn is fine" they commanded. The two undead players immediately nodded and headed south, towards Ren's base on the hill.
"Come on, Cleo!" Impulse whined. "It's like you don't have a power now!"
"I can handle myself with no stupid powers." Cleo shrugged, but then turned to Ren. "You need help with anything else?"
"No, no..." Ren sighed with relief. "Thank you. That means a ton to me..."
"Don't even mention it. Just... Stay safe out there, alright?"
"I... I will. I think."
Too bad that by the time Skizz and Mumbo arrived at Ren's base, Martyn was already gone.
Watching all of the players enjoy their newfound abilities made his chest tighten with jealousy. At first, he attempted to figure out his own superpower, but he had no idea how to trigger it. In that moment, he was thankful that Ren was gone, since if he saw Martyn's attempts at activating his superpower, he'd have probably made fun of him. Right after the moment of thankfulness, however, he became angry again. If Ren was here, he could just tell him... He definitely knew what his power was. But he decided to leave... Was he hoping that Martyn would just let it go and not figure out his superpower on his own? So, as he silently watched the dog talk to his own soulmate, he hid his journal in his pocket, climbed over the wall and headed north.
Some of what Ren told him - or rather, noted down for him - stayed in his head, as he tried to stay unnoticed. When he noticed two players heading right towards where he just left, he hid under the bridge, waiting for them to leave. He watched them, the facts not adding up in his head. He could swear that he saw Skizz and Mumbo... But weren't they already dead? Either way, he gracefully avoided them, then crossed the bridge and approached Grian's now abandoned base. Luckily, by the time he arrived, most of the players had already dispersed, and Ren was also nowhere to be found.
"So you came, huh?"
As it had clearly become a tradition, Martyn jumped in fear as Grian approached him from behind. He gasped and almost tripped over his own feet, narrowly avoiding falling on the soft grass.
"Geez, dude! You can't keep doing this!"
"How did you not hear me?- Wait, have you not figured out your power yet?" Grian tilted his head.
"No. And I've tried everything..."
"To be honest, I expected Ren to tell you the details..."
"Ren left before I even woke up. Just left me a note, telling me to stay at the base."
Grian couldn't help but giggle.
"And you didn't listen, did you? Ironic..."
"You know I never listen." Martyn stuck out his tongue, but then raised his eyebrows. "Ironic? How..."
"Here, I'll show you how to use your power."
Grian stood right next to the man, gesturing to him to start repeating after him. He put his hands behind his ears, pushing them forward a bit. Martyn did not seem particularly excited about the idea, but with nothing to lose, he decided to follow suit. He looked towards Tango, Etho and Bdubs, standing next to their bases - and all of the sudden, his all too quiet head became loud with their voices.
"That's good! I can just spend the whole day fleeing from everyone! This is great!"
"So unfair! Your power is actually cool! What do I get to do?"
"Uh, sleep?"
"Well, I guess he already does that all the time already, so-"
"HEY!"
"Woah..." Martyn gasped, then turned to Grian with sparks in his eyes. Grian grinned upon seeing his smile.
"What do you think?"
"Well, I was hoping for something more useful in combat... But this is cool too! I can spy on anyone!"
"As long as you have a clear line of sight, yes. You can literally listen in on someone from the other side of the server."
"And what is your power...?"
Grian just grinned as an answer. Martyn sighed. He should've expected that. Sometimes, he hated Grian's smugness more than whatever Ren had going on.
"I won't spoil your fun. But..." He patted Martyn's shoulder, then ruffled his hair a bit too forcefully. "This is all I need from you."
"Ouch! Watch it!" Martyn whined, as he felt as if Grian pulled out a bunch of his hair.
"Fine! I'm done!" The avian giggled and stepped back. "You played your part already. Go and have fun. I'll handle Ren from now on."
"What? But I haven't even done-"
"You've done more than enough. But, if you'd rather be a good boy and go back home, just like Ren told you-"
Martyn clenched his fist, then put on a bold grin.
"Hell naw. I can handle myself, I'll show him."
"That's the spirit!" Grian chuckled, and then patted his back one last time before Martyn left. He watched him for a moment, then turned towards the stairs leading up to Mount Bam, calling out to its inhabitants. "Scar? Scar, I need you for something!"
"Martyn? Martyn!" Skizz called out the man's name as both of them circled the base on the hill. "Welp, we messed up our first mission as Cleo's zombies! Awesome!"
"Maybe it's for the better." Mumbo muttered as he bumped his back against the wall and slid on the ground. It was strange, to not feel anything that touched his undead body. He didn't even feel as his nails dug deep into the rotting skin on his arm.
"What do you mean? We got an order to protect Martyn, and we- Oh." Skizz hummed, then crouched in front of him. "Hey, you alright...?"
"I just... I don't think he needs protection. He knows how to hurt others, so he probably knows how to defend himself."
"Oh... Right, I forgot that you and him..." Skizz inhaled deeply, then sat on the grass.
"I know it's been ages, and I should just let it go, but... It still hurts, y'know? It's like I meant nothing to him..."
Skizz put his hand on Mumbo's shoulder. Neither of them felt the touch, so it took the man a moment to notice the comforting gesture.
"Hey, it's fine to feel upset... How about this - we'll find him, and then I'll get you two to talk. And if he says something stupid, I'll punch him."
Mumbo snickered at the idea.
"Really?"
"Yeah! Us zombies gotta stick together, right?" Skizz grinned and reached his hand out to Mumbo, so that he could shake it. But before the moustached man could reciprocate the gesture, a notification went off on both their wristbands. They still somehow worked, despite the straps turning from a bloody red to ashy grey. Both of them looked at communal chat.
Inthelittlewood fell from a high place.
"Oh! That's... That's not good." Skizz flinched and immediately got up. "I, uh, I think we should report this to Cleo, shouldn't we?-"
But before either of them could move, a lightning struck right over them. As the power Cleo held over them suddenly dispersed, both of them collapsed on the ground, only for the dirt to slowly reclaimed what was once laid in it. They didn't even know that soon enough, the earth would be reclaiming one more body.
Notes:
If my calculations turn out to be correct, after this chapter, you're in for just six more. Including this, which will be a two parter, and a rare instance of a three parter (since I couldn't decide on where to split another set of upcoming chapters, I decided to make them into a trilogy lol). Lemme tell you, you are NOT ready :>>> (or I'm just hyping this up and it's not gonna be that good. Which I hope is not gonna be the case)
Btw, if you have any questions, or opinions about this chapter or the whole fic, lemme know! I love talking to you guys!
Chapter 50: The one thing that never changes, pt. 2
Summary:
History repeats itself. Again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.
Notes:
This chapter got delayed a bit for 2 reasons: 1, an emergency vet visit with my cat, and 2, I got baited into thinking Martyn would read my ITLZ fic on stream. He didn't. And from what he said, I'm in for at least another week of waiting.
Anyway, brace yourselves :3
Chapter Text
Moments after respawning, Martyn jumped out of his bed and began walking around the base in a frantic manner. The death he just experienced was far from a heroic one - in a pursuit for elevation, trying to find a good place to scout on people, he fell off a tree and crashed on the ground. The phantom pain of broken bones remained, but respawning as a red breathed new energy into him. The red bloodlust ran rampant through his bloodstream and he was eager to go out there again and kill someone. Maybe his power wasn't the most flashy or most useful, but he already had some ideas on how to use them. He nervously chuckled and pulled his hands through his messy hair.
"So what if I'm red?" He murmured to himself. "I can destroy all of them! I'm a better fighter than most of these people! Hah! And Ren wanted to keep me there? What a f-"
Martyn suddenly went quiet. His mind was already filled with a red haze, but one more cohesive thought made his way through his brain. Ren told him to stay put, something he absolutely hated the idea of... But maybe he did have a point in what he wanted. He's been acting very nervous the previous day. What if that's what he's been worried about? What if the idea of losing Martyn made him so paranoid? He remembered their earlier conversation, when Ren revealed the truth about their situation. He mentioned something bad that happened each time, and forced him - at least in his own eyes - to restart the games over, and over, and over again. Was Martyn's death that bad thing? The man stood there for a moment, thinking over the idea. What if the message Ren had left him was one last attempt to keep him safe? He shivered, as he looked back at the crumpled piece of paper. Then, as his red bloodlust made his hands twitch and his eyes darted around nervously, he approached the paper. He stomped on it, then approached the wall.
"Sorry, Ren" He hummed. "I won't get myself killed. I'm not an idiot."
Being together with Cleo, Scott, Pearl, Impulse and BigB got Ren to calm down a little. Since Cleo sent their zombies to take care of Martyn, he was sure that his lover would be safe, at least for now. Not to mention, he was on yellow when the dog left, so in case something bad happened, he could always rush back and protect Martyn himself... So far, it was going smoothly.
Until a dreadful death message appeared on the communal chat.
"WHAT?!" Ren felt his whole body go numb as he saw the message about Martyn falling to his death. Immediately, his ears pinned down and his chest got heavy with worry. He crouched, his breathing becoming fast and his eyes blurred. "W-what happened? Why did he die? Where? How?! Cleo, why didn't Mumbo and Skizz protect him?!" Ren pulled himself up again and approached her. Cleo took a step back, only a bit intimidated by how angry he seemed.
"How'd I know?" She grunted, then furrowed her brows. "Actually, I can't... Feel them out there?"
"Feel them?" Pearl tilted her head to the side.
"Hold on..."
Just like the first time around, Cleo crouched and put both their palms on the ground. In a matter of moments, the ground cracked open and two half-decomposed human silhouettes emerged. Right away, Ren grabbed Skizz by the collar and pulled him up.
"Martyn died! Why didn't you help him?!" He growled at the man, his canine teeth flashing. He was done playing around.
"Hey, hey, calm down!" Skizz pushed him away, but the dog did not lessen his grip. "When we got there, he was already gone! We couldn't even do anything..."
"Then why didn't you stay around and wait for him to respawn?!" Ren shook him, before Cleo stood between them and separated the two.
"Calm down, both of you!" She rolled her eyes, then turned to Skizz. The zombie did not seem particularly pleased about being bossed around, at least not by the person who summoned him.
"We wanted to, but we kinda just... Died again?" Mumbo butted in the conversation. "And we only came back when Cleo called us... That was weird."
Ren finally let go of Skizz. He should've known that... He was the one who had seen it all already, after all. He was supposed to know all the ins and outs of every power, every wildcard, every situation and every outcome... But he already lost track of what was happening. Martyn got hurt, and it was all his fault. Ren shivered and clenched his fists, as he felt the flurry of negative emotions stir up in his chest, slowly overwhelming him.
"I'm going after him. I'm not letting him die."
"You need help?" Scott suggested, approaching him. He reached out his hand, but Ren smacked it away.
"No. Stay back. I'll handle this."
"You sure?" Cleo raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. Especially when she picked up on how Ren was shaking from emotions.
"Yes, I am! Leave me alone!" Ren growled, then turned around and ran back in the direction of their base. The other players looked upon each other in disbelief and disappointment.
"He's gonna get himself killed" BigB sighed.
"Want us to go after him?" Mumbo suggested. Cleo sighed and rubbed the bridge of their nose.
"Please do."
"On it!" Skizz grinned, then pulled Mumbo after himself.
As Ren sprinted through the forest, his vision was already going red. His heart pounded so hard, he started thinking how his death message would look if he suffered a heart attack from all the stress. His worst nightmare was slowly getting realized, and he felt like he was powerless to stop it... Last night, he tried his best to hide from Martyn just how nervous he was. They were both on yellow, had a secure base, and somewhat decent relationships with their neighbors... But clearly, it wasn't enough. Ren cursed the moment he decided to leave Martyn be, instead of staying with him. He should've expected that something would go wrong... That Martyn wouldn't listen to him. No matter what he did in the previous loops, this was the one thing that was always consistent. Martyn didn't listen. And then, Ren had to pay the price.
But this time, it was different... Martyn knew the situation, and understood the gravity of it. Or did he? Did he not trust Ren enough to just stay in the base and sit on his ass for just a day? The dog was aware that the man was still upset at him - but would he go as far to not listen to him, just because of that? Why didn't he understand that Ren was doing all of that only for his own good?-
After a while, he needed to stop to catch his breath. His back burned with the pain of void rot, and his lungs were screaming for air. He looked up at the plateau he was just crossing. He could see their base from where he was, but he couldn't spot Martyn anywhere... He just wished the man did not actually leave, and that he would at least wait for him... Then, his ears perked up and turned as he heard someone's light footsteps approaching him.
"Hey Ren! What's up?" Grian walked up to the dog, which caused him to step away.
"What do you want? Did you kill Martyn?" He growled and put one hand on the handle of his sword. The avian grinned, but didn't turn away.
"Hey, calm down... I didn't die, but I might know what happened. Just put the sword away."
"Where is he?"
Grian remained silent - he just glanced at Ren's weapon, waiting for the man to fulfill his request. Ren groaned with annoyance, and finally let go of the handle. For now.
"So..." Grian approached him "I saw Martyn a while after the wildcard started, he approached me asking if I can help him with his superpower. 'Cause, apparently, you didn't tell him what it was..."
"I... I didn't." Ren nodded slowly, and sighed. "I, somehow, thought that if I didn't tell him what his power was, he would just... Stay put, and not get himself into any trouble..."
Grian snickered at that.
"Really? Do you even know him?"
Ren went silent. Grian was right. Ren was just so used to throwing any ideas he had at a wall that he didn't even take into account that Martyn would do the thing he's the best at - being a careless idiot. The avian hummed, then put one hand on Ren's shoulder, and pointed to Mount Bam with the other.
"Anyway... After he figured it out, Scar came. He wanted to test out his powers, so he and Martyn started fighting. They chased each other up the mountain, then Scar pushed him off... And this is how he died."
Ren flinched and his tail immediately straightened.
"Why didn't you stop them?!"
"I'm not their babysitter! Come on, man!" Grian chuckled and patted Ren on the shoulder. "Anyway, I saw Martyn after he respawned... He ran back there, to give Scar a round two. He's probably still up there."
"He's such an idiot..." Ren groaned and pulled his hands over his face. He stepped away from Grian, intending to run after his lover. "Alright, I'm going after him..."
"You need help?"
"No-" Ren pulled out his sword and flung it at Grian. The avian narrowly avoided the blade, but his smirk did not vanish. "Stay here. I don't want you there. You'll mess everything up."
"Fine, whatever." Grian giggled, then turned away. "Good luck, Uranus..."
Ren had never run this fast. It took him moments, until he was at the foot of Mount Bam. He was almost out of breath by the time he reached the middle of the stairs, but his fear and worry for his lover fueled him to keep going. He passed Lizzie without even saying hello, then crawled up to the summit and raised his head.
"Scar! Where are you?!"
Ren fell to his knees, struggling to catch his breath. His lungs were on fire. His whole body was shaking. If it wasn't for his fear of what could happen to Martyn, he would probably collapse from exhaustion right then and there. But he had to find him, he had to save him, to-
"Well hello there, Ren!"
The moment the dog looked up and locked eyes with Scar, he leaped up and grabbed the man by the collar.
"WHERE IS HE?!"
"Calm down, calm down!" Scar chuckled, but did not step away from Ren. Just like he didn't mind being manhandled like that. "He's fine... I'll show you where he is."
"Will you...?" Ren put one hand on his sword, the other still holding Scar. The man grinned and grabbed the dog's wrist.
"Yeah, of course... Follow me."
Scar led Ren along the edge of the mountain summit. There was an alarm going off inside of his head, but Ren was too tired to pick up on that. He just wanted to have Martyn back safe and sound, no matter where or how... Even if that meant having to briefly trust Scar. He inhaled deeply, trying to calm down his messed up breathing. The last thing he needed now was for Scar to pick up on his exhaustion and turn it against him...
"Oh, there he is!"
Scar stopped at the northern edge of the mountain, then pointed somewhere in the distance. Ren squinted, trying to notice anything out of the ordinary. Did the void rot make his eyes go bad, or was there just nothing there...?
"Where...?"
"Oh, lemme give you a hand."
Suddenly, Ren felt a strong hit to his back. The force of it made him lose his balance, as he tumbled down the mountain, hitting bamboo and trees on the way. He let out a muffled groan of pain at every new injury and cut on his body.
Oh, the irony... It reminded him of another mountain he felt down not too long ago.
Rendog fell from a high place.
"Oh!" Martyn huffed as he noticed the death message on chat. Immediately, he turned back and glanced at the base he left behind. He should probably go back, check up on Ren... But that reminded him of how Ren treated him today, and he immediately felt a pang of anger. He didn't need Ren, and Ren didn't need him, clearly... He was free to just go his own way and never look back. Ren would be fine by himself, and if not-
"Littlewood!"
Martyn flinched and turned towards the scream. Suddenly, Skizz and Mumbo ran out of the nearby forest, charging right at him. Both of them were overgrown with moss and vegetation, and with visible signs of decay. He let out a surprised scream as Skizz tackled him to the ground, landing on top of him.
"There you are! Stay put!"
"Skizz, what the heck?! Why are you here? Let me go!"
"We're taking you back to your base! Boss' orders!"
"I don't care who your boss is or what they ordered you!"
Martyn tried wriggling his way from under Skizz, but the avian was just too strong. He could only wait for an opening... Which, fortunately, came quickly. Eventually, Skizz got up and as he attempted to pull Martyn up, the man grabbed his sword and pierced it right through the man's chest. Skizz gasped in surprise, but before he could even react, he vanished in a cloud of smoke. The blond man did not stop right away, as he directed his sword right at Mumbo's throat, the tip of the blade just an inch or two from the man's skin.
"You want to capture me too, huh?"
Mumbo took a step back and looked up at his old friend. Martyn could clearly see the pain and confusion in his eyes... And it made his own expression soften. He sighed and slowly lowered his weapon. It's been so long since he had last seen Mumbo... His feelings had already faded, to the point where he questioned whether they were ever true. But seeing Mumbo's expression, he could tell that there was still something there, on the bottom of his heart.
"I'm... I'm sorry." Martyn whispered. "But this was never going to work."
"You never tried to make this work" Mumbo whispered and looked away. "Are you happier with Ren...?"
"I... It's complicated."
"When isn't it...?"
Martyn smiled at the sentiment. The emotions were high, and he was still tired and confused, but... At least Mumbo understood his position. Somewhat. Even if Martyn wasn't sure how the heck Mumbo came back after getting eliminated a few days prior. He put his sword away and took a deep breath.
"Don't... Don't think about me, please. It's gonna be easier for both of us."
"I'm trying..." Mumbo whispered. Suddenly, his eyes went dark, and his body began shaking. "Oh, there we go again..."
"Mumbo?" Martyn quickly caught his hand, before the man fell to his knees.
"It's fine... I'll be back once Cleo summons me again..."
"Oh, okay, yeah!" Martyn nervously chuckled. "Yeah, I get it... Be safe out there. I l-" He bit his tongue. Wrong moment. "I'll see you later."
The moustached man didn't answer, as his body went completely limp and he fell to the ground, to be reclaimed by the soil not long after.
Martyn stood there for a moment, not sure what to do. So they were connected to Cleo's power... And from what Mumbo said, it sounded like they could return at any moment. He had time to run away... But something stopped him. Like a gut feeling, that suddenly tugged at him and forced him to turn back towards his base. It was probably nothing... But he could always check. He put his hands behind his ears and looked towards a slither of movement he noticed between the trees.
"I was waiting here for you, my hero! I missed you so bad, Ren, and I love you so much..."
Martyn pulled his hands away and frowned.
"Who the fuck is that, and why do they sound like me...?"
"Dang it!" Ren yelled immediately after respawning as he jumped out of his bed. His body was screaming from pain, and he barely kept himself from collapsing again. Was that a trap? But why? And where was Martyn after all? He frantically looked around, his brain scrambling as he tried to come up with any sort of plan...
And then he saw him.
Martyn was right there. He was sitting on their crafting table, with his hair down and looking at Ren with a soft, dreamy smile. The dog could barely believe his eyes. Was that really him? And he looked... Actually happy to see him. He took a step back, a bit intimidated by the sight.
"Martyn...?"
"Ren!" The man smiled brightly and stepped lightly towards him. "There you are!"
"I... I don't understand... Grian said you were on Mount Bam..."
Martyn snickered and looked up at Ren.
"Me, up there? I was waiting here for you, my hero!" He walked up to Ren and put his hands on the man's shoulders. "I missed you so bad, Ren... And I love you so much..."
"You do...?"
Ren's tail started furiously wagging. His brain was screaming at him that something was off, but he was too excited and enthralled to pick up on that. Was it real...? It couldn't be a hallucination, he could feel Martyn's touch on his shoulders... He was actually there, telling him that he loved him...
He knew Martyn. He knew he would never say something like that out loud. But at that moment, he wanted to convince himself that it was the truth.
"Yes, silly!" Martyn giggled and pulled Ren closer. "And I want to stay with you forever!"
"You do?" Ren repeated, even more ecstatic.
"Yeah! I want you to keep looping us back, so that we can stay here forever!"
"What...?"
Ren felt as his stomach dropped. The alarm that went off in his head doubled in volume, finally breaking through to him.
"Yeah! What did you expect?" Martyn stuck his tongue out. "I want you to keep me in the dark and take away any agency I've ever had! I want you to keep destroying me, yourself and everyone else! To have the semblance of being loved just because you force me to!"
"You..."
"That's why I want you to keep going! Over, and over, and over, and over, and over..."
Ren's ears began to ring, his hands were numb. Martyn kept repeating the dreaded phrase, to the point where Ren wanted to throw up. No, it couldn't be the truth, it had to be a nightmare, or something... He stepped back as the man leaned back closer, his grip on Ren's shoulders tightening. He was on the brink of crying. That was his punishment, wasn't it? Or was that...
"Grian...?"
"Ren!" Suddenly, Ren heard a familiar voice from just under the wall. The dog immediately turned that way, but at the same moment, someone strongly kicked him in the stomach. The dog groaned from pain and fell to his knees, before being grabbed by his hair and pulled up.
"Ouch! You-"
"Really, Ren?" Martyn, who was still standing over him, chuckled snarkily. Suddenly, the illusion faded and Grian opened his wings, as if to make himself appear bigger. "After so many loops, you're still this gullible? Or do you want him to love you this badly?"
"Let me go!" Ren growled, but did not flail too much as the grip on his hair tightened. He tilted his head as much as he could and noticed Scar, standing just over him. The avian smirked.
"You'll thank me later. You can finish him off, Scar."
"Really?" The man's eyes lit up with excitement.
"Sure! You're the red here, not me."
"Ren! Ren, run!" The real Martyn began climbing the wall, trying to get to his friend as fast as he could. He landed not so gracefully on the other side, then began running at the three players. Ren turned his head, their eyes locking for a moment. His chest suddenly froze with fear.
"No, Martyn! Stay out of it!"
But before Martyn could even consider that, he already directed a punch straight to Scar's jaw. The man dropped his grip on Ren and stumbled back. Then, his eyes lit up red.
"Oh, alright! Double kill it is!"
Scar grinned, then reciprocated the hit with a strong punch to Martyn's chest, reinforced with his own power. The tremendous force shook the man's body, sending him flying back. The force of the strike cracked his ribs, and as he crashed against the stone wall of the base, he could feel his spine burn with pain. Martyn opened his mouth to scream, but instead, he started coughing up blood. His vision was beginning to become blurry, and he could barely feel his limbs.
"MARTYN!"
Ren immediately ran up to him and picked up his lover. Blood was streaking down his chin and his eyes were hazy and unfocused. He was still breathing, but only barely... At that point, nothing else mattered. He didn't care whether Grian and Scar were right behind them. None of the other players mattered. The whole server didn't matter. He hugged Martyn tightly, then jumped over the wall and began running away, with the love of his life in his hands.
"Ren..."
"Martyn, oh gods, I'm so sorry..." Ren's breathing was quick and shaky, as he ran through the server. He needed to find a safe place, somewhere they wouldn't be found by anyone. "I'm so sorry, this is all my fault... I was supposed to keep you safe, and I failed... I failed again, and I..."
"Ren..." Martyn began coughing. Ren slowed down a bit, as if that was supposed to help him catch his breath. The man smiled weakly. "You big, fluffy idiot..."
Ren couldn't help but chuckle, despite the tears in his eyes. He gently touched Martyn's cheek, trying to give him some comfort through all the pain he was going through. As they vanished between the first lines of trees, he found a little clearing and put his lover on the soft grass. He started frantically looking through his inventory.
"How bad does it hurt? What do you need? Can you walk?- No, stupid me, of course you can't... Oh gosh, do you-"
"You talk a lot..." Martyn coughed up with another meek smile. His hands barely listened to him, but he still reached out and grabbed Ren's hand. "I don't need anything. I don't think anything can help me, anyway..."
"No, no, don't say that..." Ren could feel his hot tears streaking down his face. He kneeled over Martyn and tightened his grip on the man's hand. "You're gonna be okay, y'hear? I'm not letting you die! Not again!"
"It's fine, Rennie..." Martyn's head tilted to the side, as he had no strength left to keep it up. Still, he kept up eye contact. "It's been a blast... Even though... I wish it never came to this..."
"I- I promise, I'll fix it, I will, you'll be-"
Martyn let out a soft giggle, which quickly turned into a pained cough. With each word, his voice was getting weaker and weaker.
"Do you think... There's a world out there, where we don't have to live like this...?"
Ren didn't answer. His throat was too tight to allow him to breathe, let alone speak. He just stared at Martyn, as the internal damage slowly did him in. In his head, he screamed at himself. Why couldn't it be him, instead of Martyn... He didn't deserve it, he didn't deserve any of this... Yet, even so close to death, he was calm, even amused by the situation. His grip on Ren's hand softened.
"I had fun with you... And..." He took one last, strained breath. "I'll see you... In the next game... Okay...?"
Soon, the clearing began completely quiet. One man held back his breathing, while the other completely stopped.
Ren squeezed Martyn's hand, pleading for any reaction. Nothing. He closed his eyes, a peaceful smile on his face. Ren's whole body was shaking. The void rot on his back stung more than ever, but the loss easily overshadowed the pain. He began sobbing, then wailing, as reality crumbled upon him.
This was the one thing that every loop had in common, that he always failed to prevent. No matter how much to protect Martyn, they always ended up like this, with Ren crying over his lover's corpse. And this time, it was no different.
Now the question was… Could that be the last time?
Chapter 51: The night the stars went to die
Summary:
Ren says his last goodbye to Martyn. Other players join to comfort him.
Notes:
I was supposed to write a chapter of my superhero fic today, but it felt more appropriate to write this for whatever reason... I hope you enjoy :3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to go like that this time."
Ren spent the rest of the day sitting over Martyn's cooling body, completely out of it. He cried until his eyes were so watery and puffy he could barely see. His whole body was uncontrollably shaking, his breathing strained. His power went completely haywire, as it started transforming back and forth into Martyn, then back into Ren. At first, it was almost unnoticeable. Then, it started becoming painful, as his already badly damaged body couldn't keep up with the sudden and increasingly violent transformations. Eventually, the pain went away again - or rather, he got so used to it that he now barely acknowledged it. He held his deceased lover's hand, frantically searching for any signs of life - faint pulse, tiniest of twitches, tinge of warmth on the cold, smooth skin. Nothing. Day went on, the sun set over the horizon, but his pain did not lessen for even a moment. At least nobody disturbed him - or even if someone did, Ren was too preoccupied with his freshest failure to notice.
Only when the moon rose upon the server, Ren shakily got up and pulled out a shovel. He then began slowly digging a hole, and each time he dug into the ground, his heart continued to break further and further. He didn't even want to look back at his Martyn - each time he did, he hoped he would finally notice something that would signify his lover wasn't fully gone. But nothing happened. Blood that dripped from his mouth dried, his eyes became glassy and absent, his whole body went completely limp. Right after he finished digging the grave, Ren carefully picked up his loved one and put him in his final resting place. He wished to lay him to rest in a nicer place, closer to their home, but running around the server with a corpse in his hands didn't seem like the best idea. Not to mention, Ren knew what was coming that night. He had to prepare.
"It was supposed to work this time..." He whispered as he sat there, his head in his hands. "I don't know what happened... I thought that maybe telling you the truth would fix things, but... But it didn't work. Why...?"
He waited for a moment, as if Martyn was going to answer. No matter what, he still held on that slither of hope. He knew it was pointless, but the longer he hoped, the less it would hurt once the truth settled in.
"I tried... Believe me, I did, but... It always ends like this. Are we just... Destined to end up like this...?"
Again, no answer. Ren bit his tongue hard, to stop another wave of tears. He knew it wouldn't matter much. Grief has crept into his heart, nesting in a Martyn-shaped heart in the middle of it. He could already feel something crawling under his skin, sitting at the edge of his consciousness, waiting for him to slip into hopelessness and take over.
"I wish it was me down there. If happy endings aren't a thing... I wish I could at least take your pain."
He reached out and touched his cheek with care and reverence. It was too late for such a gesture, but deep down, it really felt like it mattered. Like maybe Martyn could hear him, feel his touch, know that he isn't alone in this. Ren was, but he wouldn't let Martyn feel that too. Not anymore.
"Ren...?"
Ren immediately tensed and turned around with an almost animalistic growl. Who would dare to disturb him and the love of his life?-
"Oh. Hi, guys."
Cleo, Scott, Pearl, Impulse and BigB peeked out from behind the trees, looking at Ren with worry, confusion and sympathy. Cleo took a step forward, although they kept a safe distance. It was clear that he was on edge, close to snapping at one wrong word. They had to be careful.
"Are you alright...?" She asked carefully. "We, uh, heard what happened to Martyn..."
"Of course you did" Ren scoffed, his tail fluffing up "Lemme guess, Grian came to you gloating about getting an innocent man killed?!"
Scott, Pearl, Impulse and BigB exchanged concerned glances. Ren had to be in a really bad mental state if he called Martyn an 'innocent' man.
"No, he didn't... I actually don't know where he is." Cleo answered truthfully, then took one more step. Ren growled once more, when she got a bit too close to the hole. "Hey, it's fine, we won't take him away from you."
"Good." Ren grunted, but then his eyes watered again. He took a step back from the grave. He hid his head in his knees. "What did I do wrong again...? I just wanted to save him this one time... But Grian had to come and ruin everything... What did I- What did Martyn do to deserve all this...?"
Cleo inhaled deeply, as they thought about what to do. Ren was hurt, volatile, and exhausted. He needed reassurance, stability, and sitting there over his dead friend's body was not going to give him that. The zombie looked back at their allies, and then again at Ren.
"I have an idea. Me and BigB want to talk to you..."
"We do?" BigB asked with uncertainty, but a sharp glance from Cleo made him immediately correct himself. "I mean, uh, of course we do!"
"...And in the meantime Pearl, Scott and Impulse will, uh... Finish burying him. So that you don't have to look. Okay?"
Ren's ears pinned down, his tail straightening from the stress. He should be able to trust them, they were his friends... But if they buried Martyn, he would never see Martyn again. At least not in this loop, he thought. But he had to at least try to move on, take a single step forward... Even if that meant immediately turning back in a matter of one day.
"...fine. But..." He looked up at the sky. It was almost completely devoid of stars, and the moon was still quite low on the sky. "You need to leave before midnight."
Cleo led Ren away from the place, sitting with him and BigB at the edge of the clearing. The rest of their team pulled out their shovels, and took one glance inside of the hole. Martyn didn't move an inch, for pretty obvious reasons. He had a faint, peaceful smile on his face, one none of them had ever seen. They looked upon each other, then began covering the hole.
"I can tell that losing him hit you hard..." Cleo began carefully, as they settled against one of the trees. "You... Did you love him...?"
"Love him?" Ren chuckled bitterly, as if laughing at the question. He looked up at Cleo. "Loved him? Does the moon love the sun, because it has no light of its own without it? Does a flower love rain, because it would wither without it? Does one love a man, who they gave up everything for and would jump into fire for him over and over again?!"
Ren noticed how he got more heated and loud with each question, and he immediately backed off. BigB and Cleo exchanged concerned glances.
"Damn." Bee just whispered. The zombie cleared their throat.
"I probably shouldn't say this for him, but... I don't think anyone would disagree if I said that... He loved you too. A lot."
"Yeah, right..." The dog scoffed "Me? I failed him hundreds of times, I... I couldn't even keep him alive this one time! Are we just... Meant to always fall apart like this...?"
"It's not your fault" BigB attempted to join the conversation. Ren opened his mouth to bark back at him, but he stopped himself. He wanted to argue that he didn't understand- Of course he didn't. None of them knew how deep the connection between Ren and Martyn ran. And it definitely wasn't the best moment to make them aware of what they were trapped in. Best case scenario, they wouldn't believe him. Worst case scenario - they'd leave him completely alone. Just like he deserved. "But, uh... You think he'd want you to just sit there and give up on everything else...?"
"...he wouldn't want me to forget about him."
"You don't have to forget..." Cleo smiled gently. "But that doesn't mean you have to sit here and mourn him, until you join him... You know, while you were away, Martyn also tried to be active and join in on the games... He even won!"
"Are you saying he was better off without me...?"
"What? No, no no no!" The zombie immediately corrected themselves "I meant... He didn't stop, even though you were away. I could tell he was hurting, but he tried to not let that stop him."
Ren let out a bitter laugh.
"What about Grian and Scar? Should I just... Let it go?"
"At least for now..."
"Wow..." BigB said with an impressed expression "No offence, Cleo, but you're, like, the queen of pettiness, so- Ouch!" He whined when Cleo hit him in the shoulder.
"And don't you forget that" She grunted "Grudges are fine, and revenge is fine, but... You can't let that hold you back. Being angry at Grian and Scar won't bring him back, no matter how badly you want it."
Ren leaned back against the trunk of a tree. He let out a deep sight, the first true, not shattered breath he took in a while. Of course, Cleo and BigB couldn't grasp the full situation he was in, but... They were trying. He glanced up at the sky. The moon hasn't reached its zenith yet, but it was getting there, slowly but surely. He began pulling his hand through his hair, not sure how to feel about what was coming. That was another thing he could never stop. He never actually wanted to stop it - but this one time, he was beginning to have doubts.
"I can bring him back." He confessed quietly. He really hoped he wouldn't have to get into the details, and the somewhat vague statement would be enough for them to understand, even if just metaphorically. "But... I gave him a word that I wouldn't do it. He wouldn't be able to find out, but... I would still break his trust. He wouldn't know, but I would."
Cleo and BigB exchanged glances once again. It was harder than any of them anticipated. From their perspective, Ren was really losing his mind and talking complete nonsense. The zombie was beginning to catch on to something weird in Ren's words, but they couldn't quite piece together what he meant. She moved a bit closer, only for Ren to back away. He took one more look at the sky.
"You have to go soon."
"Why?"
"...you won't like what happens then. You won't like what will happen tomorrow, in general."
"Well, if you want us to stay out of your way... We will." Cleo finally agreed with him. "But... We would also want you to join our team, if you wish to join..."
"We do?" BigB questioned once again, and immediately received another smack. "I- I mean, yeah, sure! You can join the Gs!"
"The Gs...?" Ren tilted his head. He's heard this name hundreds of times already... But he had never actually figured out what that name translated to. It wasn't the case of TIES or BEST where there was a clear acronym.
"Yeah!" The man nodded his head energetically, then began pointing at his friends "It stands for Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss, Girlypop, Guy, and you could be... Uhhhh..." He scratched his neck "Grief?"
Ren's eyes widened for a moment, but then he chuckled. Of course. He should've expected it to be something short and sweet. He took one more look at the moon. It was getting close to midnight.
"Sure. I can join, but... I'd rather stay here for the night. I'll come in the morning. Just... Don't get scared, okay?"
"Don't worry, we can handle a lot." Cleo chuckled and got up from her spot. She then reached out her hand to Ren. The dog looked at the hand with hesitation... But ultimately, he didn't take it. It didn't feel earned on his end. After all, if they knew the full truth, they wouldn't do this.
"Thank you. But... You really have to go now. Please."
"Come on guys, let's give the pup a bit of space." The zombie asked with a smile, as she turned back to their teammates. BigB also got up, but turned back to Ren.
"Ren...?"
"Yes?"
BigB crouched in front of him.
"We're soulmates, aren't we...?"
Ren chuckled bitterly. BigB was probably the second most hurt person in this whole scenario, right after Martyn. After all, each loop, he'd get his hopes up about having a soulmate that treats him well... Only to end up with Ren. And the man really did feel bad for him. If only he could give up the soul bond for anyone, he'd do it. Not for his own sake.
"If you see us like that...?"
"I'm fine with you being with someone else." Bee smiled gently and gently nudged Ren's shoulder. He couldn't force Ren into a relationship he didn't want, and he was aware of that. Still, he hoped that there would be something to their bond - even if not strictly romantic. "Just... Remember, if you want to talk, I'm here, okay? And let me know if Martyn treats you badly. I'll kick his ass."
A chuckle slipped Ren's lips. He didn't know he even still had it in him to laugh. BigB's words were definitely reassuring... If meaningless, in the long run.
"Thanks."
As Cleo approached the rest of their team, they had already finished their work. All of them looked up at the zombie, who sighed with relief.
"Thanks for handling this..."
"I didn't mind throwing a bit of dirt at him." Pearl grunted quietly. Cleo flinched nervously and took a glance back, unsure whether Ren heard that. From the lack of reaction, they deduced that he didn't.
"I don't know what Ren sees in him. But..." Scott sighed and rolled his eyes "If he's actually happy with him, then so be it."
Eventually, the clearing became completely quiet, as the Gs went back to their base just a bit west from the place. Ren approached the grave, now nothing more than a small mound of freshly moved dirt. He stood over it for a moment, then laid down right next to Martyn's resting spot, turned as if his lover was lying next to him. He sighed and closed his eyes.
"I know I promised you." He whispered. "I said I wouldn't loop us back. But..." Ren took a deep breath, as he turned on his back. "Would that be such a bad thing? I just... I wanna see you again, well and healthy... And... If I looped us back, this time, it'd definitely work-"
Lies. He always said the same thing, whenever he found himself in this situation. Each time, he promised Martyn that next time, it will finally be the last loop, that he would finally bring them their happy ending. And he never did. Every single time, something went wrong. Each time, he prevented one bad thing, and three new would pop up. It was like a never ending chase. Like trying to seal a leaking water dam with bandaids. But he promised... He told Martyn the truth, and then made a promise... What would happen if he kept the promise? What would wait for him on the other side? Would Martyn be waiting for him there, and would he take him in? Would he even still remember all that he was told?
The moment the moon reached the highest point in the sky, a cold chill shook Ren's body. He turned on his side and curled up, his whole body beginning to shake. The feeling of something crawling under his skin returned, and intensified. It was almost like a pair of hands, itching right under his skin and threatening to suffocate him. But he was helpless to fight it. He could already feel them moving, shifting, molding and shaping him into something different. Something capable of winning, and turning the tides. He took a deep breath, the last that he could consider solely and entirely his. And then, a deep, familiar voice rang in his ears.
"Let's get to work, Ren."
Notes:
4 more chapters to go, yippie! I can spoil you this much - the next one is gonna be a part of a three-parter. Yeah. I know you usually make two-parters or four-parters, but I couldn't find the right place to split what I wanted to put in there into two. So I hope you don't mind ^^ And let me know what you think!
Chapter 52: The death of Uranus, pt. 1
Summary:
TW: Gore, violence
The finale of Wild Life comes. Ren is no longer alone to deal with everything that's coming, but deep down, he wishes he was.
Notes:
If this one sounds a bit strange, especially at the beginning, so sorry - I was writing it during a class again
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Ren..." Grian didn't do much to hide the disgust on his face. He glanced at his friend, stumped for words for a serious moment. "What the... What the hell is that...?"
Ren looked down upon Grian, the stare of his blue eyes was cold and distant. Two blue, mismatched eyes, both blue, yet different hues. One warmer, darker, with pain and regret beaming from them. The other - brighter, chill, focused and alert. His whole face, as well as the rest of his body, transformed into something new - at least to the other Lifers - and uncanny. One half of him was still Ren - the same warm, caring, a bit goofy man. The other, a remnant of Martyn - vigilant, cunning, yet pained. The edges of their bodies merged, split in half, jagged and uneven, and looked like a long, thin scar. Their long, messy hair, part-brown and part-blond was tied up into a messy ponytail, with loose streaks falling on his face. Only one of his ear was dog-like now, the other human, causing a distortion in his hearing and a recurring tinnitus. His tail remained, but now was stiff, unable to wag - as there was no reason to do so. Even his body proportions did not match exactly, rendering one side of his body bigger and buffer, the other more slender, on the edge of withering. The long, gaping void rot wound now showed its thin tendrils on his face and hands, wrapping itself around their body like a tight-knit web.
"Every time, you ask us the same thing." The abomination spoke up, his voice lower, devoid of feelings. "You caused us."
"You. Plural." Grian asked in a half-asking voice, as if waiting for confirmation.
"Yes, us. We're Martren, DNA abomination."
The avian glanced at him one more time, his frown only deepening at the confession. He shivered as the reality of the situation fell upon him. If that repeated every loop... No wonder Ren was acting so strange. The baggage he must've been carrying was probably way too much for a single man. Especially a man who's been trapped in an ever repeating loop. Well, he brought it upon himself, didn't he?
"You're... Uh... Isn't it a bit... Excessive...?"
Martren shot him a sharp glance. He let out a low growl, which made Grian step back. The avian just let out a sigh and turned away, not wanting to confront the strange creature he couldn't understand. He didn't even want to understand it, in all honesty.
"Just remember. We're coming for you."
Martren silently headed back towards the Gs' base. Despite just barely waking up after a whole night spent next to his lover's great, his legs were already aching. All of his insides were burning, his skin itched, he was quickly getting out of breath. His mind was loud, as two spirits now inhabited one vessel, which was already heavily damaged after hundreds of games filled with pain and suffering. Martren took the initiative, focused on nothing less than leading them to another victory and restarting the loop.
"I think it's excessive to go back to them," Martren asked in a low voice. "They will die either way. If they don't, we'll have to kill them. We can do this alone."
"Yes, I know, I know..." Ren's voice rang in the back of his head. "We owe them that. They want to help."
"They can't help us. They will never understand us. We have to do this on our own."
Ren sighed silently. All he could do was watch , and that idea sickened him. If they wanted to get to the end, Martren was their only way. Like a fusion of Ren and his lover, they were a combination of their strongest traits - Ren's passion and Martyn's desire to survive. A forcefully shaped killing machine, destined to die right after serving its' purpose.
He both loved and hated Martren. Loved - because without them, they wouldn't be able to repeat their actions over and over again, hopelessly hoping to fix their previous mistakes. Hated - because looping meant repeatedly killing everyone he still cared about, experiencing the slow, painful, internal decomposition, and the regrets. Two souls in one body, fighting to bring back the one they both loved. Still, being together made them more lonely than ever.
"Hey Re-ooooooh..." Impulse greeted Martren at the gates, but his smile faded upon noticing the man's fused form. In contrast to Grian, he tried to hide how much the sight disturbed him. "Uhh, it's... Good to see you!"
"Good to see you too." Martren muttered, his voice still devoid of any emotions.
"Are you, um... Feeling any better?"
"I am. I'm feeling wonderful."
Impulse gritted his teeth and nodded, then headed back into their base. The abomination silently walked behind him, not raising his head. He didn't want to look in the eyes of people he was going to kill so soon.
"Hi Ren!" Scott called out to the man, but then recoiled in fear as he noticed the half that looked like his ex-ally. "Oh! What... What happened?"
" We happened." Martren grunted, turning away from Scott.
"I- Okay, yeah, alright..." The man whispered, then turned back to his other allies. Pearl also seemed repulsed by the sight of the abomination. BigB looked shocked at first, but came to terms with Ren's looks surprisingly quick. Only Cleo seemed unmoved, almost as if they weren't surprised by Martren's sudden appearance.
"Be nice to them" Ren quietly asked his other half. "I know what you're about to do, but you don't have to make them suffer more than needed."
"It doesn't matter. They hate us for existing. Look at them."
Ren's head perked up ever so slightly. The Gs were whispering between themselves, glancing at the man but turning away whenever their eyes met. Ren felt a cold shiver go down his pained spine. Then, an idea crossed his head. They still wanted to protect him... Get them to the end. To restart the loop. So if they deserted from them...
"I actually wanna go. I wanna leave them."
"Well that's a change" Martren snarked and turned back towards the gate. "Finally you're speaking with some sense. Unless..." His body flinched in a painful manner. "You want to mess something up."
"Me?" Ren chuckled nervously. Of course they'd catch on to him. They did share a mind after all, even if that mind felt frazzled and at the brink of collapse.
"We can't give up now. If we do-"
Martren suddenly stopped, their head perked up and their dog-like ear twitched as a ringing sound crossed the air. The wildcard was coming - the last one. Tension was in the air. All of a sudden, they were no longer in the Gs' base. Ren didn't even notice when they left.
"Oh, there we go..." The abomination sighed, then looked down at their hands. They were shaking, but as soon as Martren focused, he regained control over his body. A meek smirk appeared on their face. "Let's make it wild, then..."
Ren had always found it hard to keep up with the action during the finale. He retrieved into the back of his mind, watching the same brutal action repeat over and over and over again. Martren knew how to handle them and how to lead them to victory, to the end, to the Watchers... But the promise Ren gave to Martyn was still ringing in the back of his head. He promised to stop the loops, to see each other again in a place that wasn't Dogwarts, or Shadow Tower, or Coral islands. A new place, free from the burden of all the previous games. But Martren wouldn't let them... Not until they reached their goal.
"Watch out!" Ren suddenly jolted back into reality once Martren pushed him to the front. The dog narrowly avoided a flying hit, directed to split his skull in half. He took a step back and hit his opponent in the back of his head. Only then, he realized that the punch came from Scar. "You..." He growled, the anger of two pained souls flaring up in his body.
"O-oh! Hi, Ren!" Scar chuckled nervously and pulled himself away from the dog. "You, uh, look different! I thought Martyn was-"
"Dead?" Ren growled and turned back to him. "Are you proud of what you're done?"
"What? I- I mean, uh, it's just a game, right?" Scar stuttered over his words and got up from the ground slowly. "He's gonna be back in the next one, right? No need to get upset!"
"Yeah..." Ren grinned at him grimly. "No need."
Ren only came back to his senses once Scar's death message appeared on chat. He almost collapsed to his knees, wiping his bloodied hands against his clothes, stitched in the middle. He was on the brink of crying, especially when the voice began nagging him in the back of his head.
"He asked for this. You shouldn't feel bad for him."
"How long do we have to keep this going?!" Ren wailed and pounded the ground with his fists. "Do you think Martyn would've wanted this?!"
"He would. Don't even try to tell me he wouldn't. Don't you remember what he said? He said that he'll see us in the next loop-" Martren suddenly got up from the ground. They took a step to the side to avoid his snail, without even looking at it. The last wildcard was easily the most brutal, but after so many loops, they already learned about everything that could happen to them. At that point the loud animals, terrifying cries of the snails, thunder strikes and repeating clicking sounds from the wildcard activation no longer phased them. "Unless you don't want us to win."
"W-what? No, of course I do!" Ren nervously chuckled. His body started shaking again. He was beginning to lose control, and if he lost it completely, Martren would wreak havoc among the still living players. And if he did, there would be no way Ren could keep his promise.
"I can tell. You promised him that we would stop. Why won't you understand that-"
Suddenly, the abomination cut themself off and turned around. Yet again, they didn't notice anything strange - it was more like an impulse, a gut feeling that something was coming. And indeed, at the edge of the forest, he noticed Grian fighting against Cleo. Two heavy swords clung against each other, both of them were breathing heavily. Cleo was much stronger, but the avian's agility made up for his smaller stature. The zombie yelled in pain as his blade left a deep cut in her arm.
"Cleo!" Ren called out and wanted to run to them, but his body only allowed him to take one step in that direction. Cleo looked up at them, blood already streaking down their head. They looked genuinely scared for him... They really cared, didn't they? Ren opened his eyes wider, but then quickly covered them, as Grian dealt the final blow. "Shit... We should've helped her!"
"We don't need her. We could've gotten hurt, and messed up the whole plan. You really want that, don't you?"
"We promised Martyn!"
"We're going to see him. In the next game. That's what he wanted."
"He didn't want that! Did he...?"
"You're left, Ren!"
Grian immediately ran at him, his wings opened to make him appear larger. In an instant, Martren took control again and evaded the attack, then kicked the avian in the back. Grian barely stopped himself from a scream, and he turned around to fling his sword once more. The blade narrowly avoided cutting through the abomination's nose, and they reciprocated with a punch right to the face. With a pained grunt, the shorter man fell to the ground, still clutching on his sword.
"You're not even pulling out your own sword," Grian huffed, "Do you think you can beat me like that?"
"We can."
Another swift kick was delivered right to Grian's stomach. He stumbled back, struggling to get off the ground.
"Shit... Why are you even doing this? You're not only trapping yourself and Martyn! You're hurting everyone! And-" Another kick cut him off again. Grian began choking, some blood spilled from his mouth. Martren was also beginning to cough, as his lungs were beginning to fall apart inside of his body. "He's crazy, sure, but even he wouldn't want that!"
"Don't you dare speak about him." The abomination growled, Ren's voice breaking through as he spoke. "Don't you dare speak like you know him! I've been there for him! I've seen him through everything! I just want him to be happy!"
"And you think he'd be happy to see you do this?!" Grian finally got back on his legs, but another strong punch knocked him down again. His voice broke as he went from angry yelling to pleading. "Ren, please! You have to be reasonable! You need to stop this before you or someone else actually gets killed!-"
Grian wanted to add something more, but then one more, skull-crushing kick fell upon him. The avian's limp body fell to the ground, marking the grass and the abomination's shoe with blood. Martren fell to his knees, struggling to breathe yet again. The overly emotional side of them quickly faded as Martren came back to their senses. All of a sudden, the server was completely quiet. All of the sounds of violence and chaos ceased. All of this was over sooner than Ren had realized. He was mentally out of it for most of the action, but...
But it wasn't over. The Watchers didn't come to ask Ren for his wish. He perked up his head again, even though it felt as if his brain was filled with concrete. At this point, he was on the brink of collapse, but clearly his job wasn't over yet.
"He wasn't the last one, was he...?"
A loud whistle crossed the air, and then Joel's voice rang in their ears.
"Oh Reeeen!"
Notes:
I thought it'd turn out longer, but on the other hand, I didn't want it to drag. I hope you enjoyed it ^^
Also, how about a deal? You don't get a new BMKC chapter or one shot this week, BUT I'll finish HTS before the end of the week. There's only three chapters left. How does that sound?
Chapter 53: The death of Uranus, pt. 2
Summary:
TW: Gore, violence, suicidal tendencies
Ren is free from the loops.
Notes:
Ngl I think I kinda cooked with this one. Let me know what you think :>
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Really? You're all that's left? This is gon' be so easy!"
Joel stood in the middle of the stairs leading up on Mount Bam. He was also covered in blood, just like Martren - but in contrast to the abomination, he was actually armed with a bloodied, diamond sword in one hand, and an ender pearl in the other. Ren attempted to shakily get off the ground, but his body was too far gone. Everything inside of him was beginning to break down and collapse on itself. He only had one last player to deal with... But he was in no state to fight.
"Dang it..." The dog huffed, closing his eyes as his vision began to blur. "Maybe we should just... Let him kill us...?"
"You can't be serious." Martren growled at him. "We got this far, and you're going to ruin all of it. It's just Joel. We can handle him, even like that."
"Yeah, and what then?" Ren gasped for air, which immediately filled with a bloody taste. "We're just gonna...? Start over again? Let the void rot kill us in the next loop?"
"It won't. It didn't loop us thus far."
"We haven't succeeded thus far! Does that mean it's also not gonna happen?!"
Martren bit their tongue. Even their teeth were beginning to hurt and would most likely start falling out soon. They clenched their fist and pulled themself from the ground. It really did seem like they were holding themself up by sheer willpower.
"We have to keep going. He'll thank us once we reach our happy ending."
"He won't! Don't you see? This is never gonna work."
Ren took a shaky step forward, away from where Joel was standing. The man standing on the stairs squinted, as he watched the abomination slowly walk away, dragging their feet and shaking.
"What the hell is he doing...?" Joel grunted, tooking a few steps down the stairs. "Freakin' weirdo..."
"We need to stop this madness right now," The dog pleaded to his other, more stubborn half. "Please... We've done enough. Let's just... Let's just put this to rest."
Martren grunted quietly. In their mind, Ren was being completely unreasonable. Previously, he had some hesitations about looping again, but every time Martyn was taken away from them, he made his decision without a second thought. What was different now? Did something happen in the previous games of this loop? They only really came into place in Wild Life, once the end was near and a heavy decision had to be made. Ren always made the decision, and Martren decided whenever the dog was too uncertain to choose. But he had never straight up rebelled against them... Did he just not care about Martyn anymore? The abomination reached the left side of their face with their right hand. They've been fighting for this cause so much longer than anyone could imagine. They've long lost the track of all the loops they've gone through, and at this point, they didn't want to know just how many there were. They probably left hundreds of past versions of their friends behind... But it was a necessary sacrifice, they thought. Maybe they were hurting, but it would all be good in the end, when they reach their goal. And if they don't...
"You're crazy." Martren growled at his other half, as the dog kept pushing them further and further away from Mount Bam. "Think about this. If we give up now, all this pain, all this time we've put into this... All the damage we've received... It will all be for nothing. Everything will be wasted. You can't be serious about wanting this."
"I do want this-" Ren spoke up, but then suddenly started choking and coughing. He covered his mouth, his hands quickly wet from the blood he coughed up. At that point, the idea of just waiting for Joel to kill him came to his head... But he couldn't just do that. He started this, so he needed to finish this on his own. And with their hands too weak and shaky to hold up any weapon, he only had one idea left. "I want this to end. This is not gonna work."
"Tell me who convinced you of that, then."
"Martyn! He wants us to end this, and move on! He wants us to actually move on!"
"He told us that he'll see us in the next game. He is not a quitter. He wouldn't tell us to just give up on everything."
Ren opened his mouth. At this point, he was convinced that Martren was lying to him... Or they were just misremembering. Maybe the pain of seeing Martyn die in their arms again blurred the memory. He shook his head, his spine quietly cracking. The void rot tendrils were spreading further and further, almost reaching his eyes. And there was no telling that in a probable future loop, they'd back off.
"Ren! I'm over here, you freak!" Joel called out after the man. He considered using an ender pearl to get closer, but on the other hand, the sight of the man repulsed him. He's never seen him like that - at least in his memory - and really wished it wouldn't spread to him. He really wouldn't want to get fuzed with Lizzie, or Etho, or whoever else, no matter how he felt about them. "What is wrong with him? Dude! We gotta finish this! I wanna kill you! Helloooo!"
"He wouldn't want us to suffer, would he?" Ren growled at the unphased abomination. They were beginning to annoy him. They always spoke as everything was crystal clear - that the only thing they could do was kill everyone, loop back and start again. Never asking questions, never considering other possibilities, just zeroing on their goal. Maybe to some degree, Ren used to envy them and their conviction to keep trying. Well, not anymore.
"This is our duty. We caused him to die. Now, we have to suffer to make up for it."
"No, we don't!" Ren finally screamed out, although his lungs were burning from pain. He could feel their tissue slowly fall apart. He never actually questioned how he managed to stay alive this long despite his state, but if he had to make a guess, it was probably through spite and their sheer stubbornness. But that was also beginning to run out. "Yes, we didn't want this! But we can't just keep punishing ourselves because of this!"
"We can."
"Ugh, you're so annoying!" Ren pulled on his hair. "You're gonna get us killed only for revenge! You're worse than Martyn in that!"
Suddenly, Ren's hands moved on their own, from his hair to his throat.
"Don't. Say that about him."
The abomination tightened its grip on their throat, as they began to choke up more blood. Ren struggled to get rid of their grasp... But then, a thought hit him. He was still choking and wheezing, but he could tell when Martren began to lessen their grab. He put on a meer smirk.
"You won't kill us. If you do, we won't win."
"You're right. Let's finish off that guy first. Then, I'll deal with you."
As if on command, Joel approached them after a quick throat through the blood-drenched plateau. He still kept his distance, unsure whether the abomination wouldn't jump right on him and eat out his organs, or whatever else. He leaned on his sword.
"So, uh..." He hummed. "This, um...This is a lot, Ren. Even for you."
"I'd say it's just enough."
Martren grinned, showing off their sharp canines. They then attacked Joel, directing a strong punch right to his jaw. The man groaned in pain and stepped back, but then slashed his sword. It left a cut on their ear, but they didn't seem to even notice the damage. The next hit was even stronger, and hit Martren right in the side. The abomination groaned and recoiled in pain, clutching the wounded spot. Joel let out a hardy laugh.
"Ha! Take that, freak!"
"You don't... Understand..." Martren growled, beginning to foam at the mouth. Their body was beginning to quit listening to either of the souls inhabiting it, and even if they somehow managed to kill Joel, Ren probably wouldn't even be able to tell the Watchers he wants to stop. Still, he pushed on as much as he could. "You... Joel..." Martren's voice softened a bit and they looked up at Joel. His eyes were teary, tired, and full of pain. "You... You gotta finish me off... I can't... This can't keep going..."
"What the hell are you talking about, man...?"
Ren looked back for a moment. His plan was to go all the way towards the river and drown in there, but it was still too far away. And Joel was right there. Holding a sword. It was no Red Winter, but it would do the work just fine. The dog took his last deep breath, then fell to his knees and dropped his head, exposing his neck. The beheading wound was right there, openly bleeding, still refusing to heal over. It seemed like it wouldn't have the chance to do so anytime soon.
"Do it. You need to win this, Joel."
"Hey, it's not fair, I wanted to have fun with this..." Joel whined and rolled his eyes. "Besides, what am I supposed to do, behead you? That's your and Martyn's schtick, not min-"
"DO IT!"
Joel flinched and took a step back. All of a sudden, he felt as if a new surge of energy jolted his body. He tightened his grip on his sword with strength he never knew he had, then raised it.
"I'm sorry Ren-"
"Wait, what are you doing?" Martren suddenly spoke up in their head.
"Thank you, Hand." Ren closed his eyes.
He really did wish it didn't have to come to this... But, it was too late to go back now. It had to be done.
Rendog was slain by Smallishbeans.
Ren sighed with relief upon witnessing the empty space of the void. Finally, something that wasn't chaotic, bloodied and painful. Well, the pain was still there, but much lesser than when his body was literally falling apart. He glanced at his hands, now clean from the blood, but still shaking. He pulled them over his body, trying to feel for any of the damage. The void rot was still there, and it felt itchy and tender to touch. The wound on his side vanished, now replaced with a faint scar. His ear, surprisingly, was still slightly cut, and flopped just like that of an old dog's. He wouldn't even dare to check the beheading wound... Who would've thought that it would all end with the same thing that started it all...?
Soon enough, the Watchers appeared around him. This time, they were completely silent, just staring down at him with their forever unmoving expressions. Ren's shoulders slumped upon the feeling of all their eyes right on him. Somehow, he felt even more exhausted than after surviving the whole ending of the last game. He opened his mouth, readying himself for the unpleasant feeling of speaking in void.
<Rendog> I'm done
<Rendog> This needs to end
<Rendog> My wish is to just... Move on to the next game.
The Watchers remained silent. There was no ' yours will be done' , no questioning him, no mocking him... They were almost like stone statues, surrounding them from every side, and if it wasn't for their wings twitching every now and then, Ren would've believed that was actually the case. So, he decided to continue until they finally responded.
<Rendog> I never should've started this, yeah I know
<Rendog> I was being so unbelievably stupid
<Rendog> You guys were right. There are no happy endings
<Rendog> I just hope Martren can be put to rest. And that Martyn can forgive me
<Rendog> Um... You there, guys...?
Only then, the Watchers started moving. A few of them uncovered their eyes, which made Ren immediately turn away, even without thinking. A sharp jolt of pain shook his body. Something was wrong. It had never happened before... Why wouldn't they just accept his wish and move on? Was there really all there was left? Finally, their voices spoke in perfect unison and harmony.
"Foolish human... You possess no power to command us."
<Rendog> What? What happened to calling me Uranus and all tha-
"You're no longer Uranus. You lost, or rather, forfeited your role as the winner. Now, Comet is the winner."
<Rendog> The-
The dog could feel his stomach drop and his blood freeze, all at once. Only then, the weight of his decision fell upon him. He was so used to the Watchers listening to him, that he forgot the condition... It only respected the winners. And he was no longer one.
There was no longer an Uranus.
Long live the Comet.
<Rendog> So, uh... What are you gonna do with me?
"We are able to finally punish you accordingly. For acting like you can command us, and mess up our work. And for all the pain you've dealt to all the other players."
<Rendog> Wait, since when do you ca-
The dog then curled up as a strong wave of pain shook him. The void rot on his back felt as if it wrapped itself around his body and tightened, like the claws of a large beast. He wished that he could scream, but any sound turned into lines of code that the void extracted from his body. His vision began to blur, as he looked up at the Watchers. Their faces remained unchanging, but somehow, Ren could feel their anger, maybe even disgust. He shut his eyes tight, as they teared from pain. Was that what he deserved after everything? Just an eternity of pain, suffering and being trapped in the void until his body would rot into nothing...?
Maybe it all wasn't worth it, after all.
And then, all of a sudden, the pain stopped.
Ren woke up, laying on a cold, hard ground. It took him a few moments to recognize that he could actually breathe, move and speak. Slowly but surely, he pulled himself up and stood up. His body was still shaky, but in a much better state than back in the void.
"What... Is this place...?"
He slowly glanced around, silently relieved that his head seemed quieter than it was just a while ago. He was laying on a stone plateau, with a thin layer of snow covering the area. The sky was completely covered with dark, heavy clouds, with barely any sun rays fighting their way through. He shivered from the chill, then gasped as he saw a large build, which he was even surprised that he didn't notice earlier.
He woke up right under the gates of Dogwarts.
The place looked just like he remembered it. Huge, dark, imposing. Torn, bloody-red banners hanging on the tall walls. Long icicles forming from the edges of towers. Grey stone almost matching the sky in color. Ren slowly approached the structure, not even leaving footprints in the snow.
"Martyn...?" He called out and approached the heavy, dark gate. Out of a better idea, he knocked on it. The gate slowly opened with a quiet creak. There was nobody in the immediate distance from the gate, suggesting that they opened it. It was almost as if some kind of unimaginable force pushed the gates open, just for Ren. He took a deep breath, a cloud of vapor escaping from his mouth.
"It's fine..." He muttered to himself. "Guess their punishment is another loop...? I'll figure it out... Let's just find Martyn..."
"My liege!"
Ren's head perked up immediately, and then he saw him. Martyn was standing in the middle of Dogwarts, although he was turned away from the gate. He looked just as magnificent as back during the peak of their kingdom... He was wearing his long coat with a Hand sigil on the back. Red Winter was still in his grasp, and despite the size of the weapon, he was wielding it without much issue. His hair seemed neatly put together, as much as Ren could see from where he was standing, and he looked sharp as ever. The dog couldn't hide a giant smile on his face, as his tail began wagging once again.
"Martyn!" He yelled and first walked, then ran towards the man. "Oh gosh, dude, you're here! I've never been so happy to see you!" His eyes began tearing up again, but this time, from happiness. He stepped on Black Heart Altar and put a hand on Martyn's shoulder. "I'm glad all of this is over, and we can finally be free..."
"Over? This is far from over, my liege..." Martyn spoke up in a teasing tone. "We've only just begun."
Suddenly, the Hand grabbed Ren tightly by the wrist, then turned around. Ren almost screamed. His lover had his eyes gouged, only bloody sockets left in their place. Streaks of red marked his face, looking almost like tears. And his grip was impossibly strong... The dog shivered, his heart stopping for a moment.
"You're finally back, my liege! It's time for you to lay down your head again, my king!" Martyn sang with a big smile.
"What... What is this...?"
"This? This is your dream, the one you've killed us all for." The Hand said, his voice dripping with mockery. "And you're never waking up."
Notes:
Funfact: I only came up with Joel beheading Ren while writing that scene. I had everything planned out more or less but I only came up with the idea to connect it to the beheading as I wrote it. Somehow, I always get the best ideas while on toilet, while taking a shower, or while actually writing xd
Next chapter tomorrow, most likely. Only two more to go!
Chapter 54: The death of Uranus, pt. 3
Summary:
TW: Gore, suicidal tendencies
Ren gets punished for all the pain he brought onto others. Still, he needs to see this through. For Martyn.
Notes:
"It's gonna be a small chapter!" I thought, before I hit over 4k words in a bit under 3 hours (lol)
Also, just as I'm posting this, this fic is at 5,9k hits! Do you guys think we can reach 6k before the next chapter, either tomorrow or on Sunday? That'd be SICK
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Ren...?"
Ren wanted to pull away from Martyn. He wanted to shut his eyes tight, cover his ears and erase the frightening memory. He wished to act like this never happened... But it did. Wherever he ended up, it was a punishment for all he's done. And he'd lie if he said he didn't deserve any of this.
"Martyn..." He whispered carefully. "I'm... So, so sorry... For everything, I-"
"Don't you think it's a bit late?" The Hand grinned, his grip tightening on Ren's wrist, threatening to snap it at any moment. Somehow, despite his eyes being completely gone, the dog could easily see the anger and mockery on his face. Some voice in the middle of his head tried convincing him that this is just an illusion, that this Martyn was fake, and the real one was fine... But that didn't change the fact that even the real Martyn would agree with these words. "You've already ruined everything by forcing us to repeat all of this over, and over, and over again."
All of a sudden, Martyn pulled on the man's wrist so hard he threw him over his shoulder. Ren let out a muffled scream as he hit his back against the cold, hard, stone surface of Black Heart altar. The sudden wave of memories that hit him the moment he touched the place made him nauseous. Martyn stood over him, putting one of his heavy boots on Ren's chest, just under his neck. If he only leaned forward with enough force, he could easily crush Ren's trachea.
"But I guess it doesn't matter, does it?" Martyn continued his tirade, not even looking at his king. "You were always the one in charge... It was always about you. You put the Ren in Renchanting. You were the king. The Uranus. And who was I? Your loyal Hand, your obedient servant..."
Ren wanted to fight back, but Martyn's argument shut him down for a serious moment. He couldn't deny that... He was so focused on getting his happy ending, he would sometimes forget about Martyn being an actual, thinking, feeling person. The king shivered, their eyes interlocking for a moment.
"I..." He stopped. There was no excuse for what he's done, and trying to defend himself would make him look even more like an asshole. "Y-You're right. I- I should've considered what you think."
Martyn dropped his head, looking straight at him (if one could even call it that, considering the state of his eyes). He then lifted his axe high over his head.
"Do you have an idea how many times you've made me do this?" He grinned. "One more wouldn't hurt, would it?"
Ren opened his eyes wider. He tried to get up and escape from the incoming attack, but it felt as if his body was frozen into the altar, unable to move. As if the one thing that started, then finished everything, was supposed to begin the nightmare anew. All he could do was shut his eyes tight. Maybe that would be, maybe after this, he'd finally learn his lesson and be freed...
The moment Red Winter fell upon Ren, a strong wave of pain shook his body. But... He didn't die. He could feel his own head fall down the stairs, right into the snow. Only in the corner of his eyes, he saw Martyn step down after him, then pick him up by his hair.
"And if it was only me you hurt..." He snarked.
In the matter of a blink, the scenery around them abruptly changed. The tall, crude, grey walls of Dogwarts turned into a wall of dark wood. Burning wood. Five tall towers behind it were in flames just as well, bodies of a few men laying among the rubble. Ren wanted to cover his eyes, and only then realized that he just got his body back, and was no longer just his dismembered head. He sighed with relief, but Martyn pulled him by his hair again.
"You made me lose everything for you." Martyn's tone suddenly wasn't as angry. It sounded hollow, sad, almost shameful. "I found people who liked me. And you made me lose them, just so that we could be together. Because you just assumed that I'll want that."
The blond man let go of Ren's hair, then approached one of the bodies. He grabbed its long, slender hand and held it for a moment.
"We've had something going on. I think he did forgive me eventually, but... I don't think I can forgive myself."
Ren felt a bitter taste spread in his mouth. He never even considered that Martyn could be happy with anyone else. He always just thought about the need for the two of them to end up together in the end... No matter the cost. Looks like the cost was much greater than he could ever imagine... He just silently watched, as Martyn let go of Mumbo's hand.
"Did that also happen in every previous loop?" He asked, although it really did sound like a rhetorical question. Of course it did. Sometimes on a different, lesser scale, but it did - each loop, Ren asked Martyn to sacrifice something for them. For him. And he never really considered how it would affect, thinking that Martyn only had his eyes on Ren. The dog took a step forward, only to almost trip over a tall corpse with golden wings. He shivered and backed away immediately. Martyn then approached him again. "You really thought that by making me lose everything over and over again, we'd get somewhere? You wanted me to be completely dependent on you, didn't you?"
"I..." Ren was at a loss for words, yet again. "I thought that fixing mistakes that kept us apart would eventually get us a happy ending. But that never worked. There was always something that went wrong."
"You didn't fix this, did you?" Martyn smirked. "You didn't consider this a mistake if it didn't affect you?"
Ren began backing away. He looked up at the burning Southlands, the heat overwhelming him even from the safe distance he was at. The flames somehow didn't destroy the wooden walls yet, as if they were made to burn forever, as a reminder of Ren's faults. And then, all of a sudden, he tripped over another corpse he didn't notice, and began tumbling down a hill.
"Ren... It's okay, we're gonna be fine..."
The dog groaned in pain as he fell down. The usually soft ground now felt like rough concrete, the blades of grass leaving cuts all over his skin. It reminded him of falling down Magical Mountain, while he was looking for Martyn. But even back then, he couldn't remember falling for so damn long...
Until eventually, his painful tumble down the hill came to a stop.
He landed right under a tall, stone structure, which was now in a stay of complete decay. Only the lower half of the building was saved, with wooden elements that somewhat resembled a face. A very ugly, very angry face. Ren felt his mouth become dry again, and he moved back right away. Immediately, something tugged on his hand, almost making him fall back on the grass. He turned away, noticing that this time, two men looked straight at him. Martyn was accompanied by BigB, whose eyes were covered by a shadow, making it unclear whether they were also gouged. Ren's soulmate had a red thread wrapped around his pinky, and the string connected him to the dog. Ren looked at the soul binding, then back at them.
"Even when the Watchers gave you someone to care about, you completely disregarded him..." Martyn chuckled and leaned over BigB's shoulder. The other man remained unmoving, only a sour expression appearing on his face. "We're not even soulmates, are we?"
"You know best that this soulmate thing is bullshit! None of us cared about that!" Ren barked back right away. Finally, an argument he could disagree on... But then BigB spoke up, making Ren regret that he ever opened his mouth.
"I did." He just spoke up. Bee tilted his head, a brief shine lighting his eyes before they hid behind the heavy shadow again. "I thought we could be... Something. Even just friends. But you didn't even give me a chance, did you?"
"You- I- I-uhhh..." Ren immediately stuttered and hung his head down, not wanting to look any of them in the eyes. "You... You cared. I didn't even think... I thought you hated being forced into this, too..."
"Maybe I did. But I wanted to try. Make the best out of it... You know?"
"I also wanted to try, but..." Martyn raised his hand. All of a sudden, Ren noticed that his pinky was completely cut off, meaning there was no soul binding tied to him. Ren flinched with fear, and then moved back even further when he found the man's missing finger. It was laying right next to the dog, the yellow thread still tied to it. "I couldn't try being happy with Cleo, could I? It had to be you, or nobody else."
Ren grunted in pain when the pain of the void rot on his back suddenly returned. It seemed to grab him by the spine - not as strongly as back in the void, but it was still threatening to crush him at any moment. In the corner of his eye, he noticed the severed finger suddenly twitch, then begin crawling towards him like a gross worm. He was too exhausted to get up, so he began pulling himself away as fast as he could. And then, Martyn and BigB walked up to him again.
"Rules don't matter to you, other people don't matter to you... Then what does?" Martyn smirked. Ren couldn't keep the eye contact out of the sheer guilt he was feeling. Whenever he looked down, he was reminded of the gruesome, threaded finger crawling towards him. And when he raised his head high to look at the sky, he could feel the thousands of eyes, hidden on the firmament, staring right at him. They were mocking him, didn't they? Not like he didn't deserve that...
"I know you wanted well..."
"Okay, yeah, I messed up!" Ren suddenly yelled at both of them. "I get it, you don't have to keep repeating that! So what are you gonna do, huh?! What's done is done! I'm sorry, I can't turn back time!"
"Oh can't you?" Martyn chuckled."Interesting... Bee, you wanna take it from here?"
"Sure."
The dog covered his eyes, but he clearly heard the sound of someone pulling out a blade. Then, a sharp, stabbing feeling went right through his heart. Aside from the overwhelming pain, the thread tightened around his pinky, then around his whole hand, threatening to crush it. Ren opened his mouth to scream, but the moment he did, it felt as if water immediately entered his lungs.
He found himself underwater, with his body tightly wrapped in heavy chains. Martyn was floating right in front of him, also chained, but not as heavily. Under his shackles, Ren could see the outfit he was wearing while he finally commited and won Limited Life. A red coral crown wrapped itself around his head, parts of it digging straight into the man's skull and even coming out of his empty eye sockets.
"But even leaving wasn't enough..." Martyn's voice somehow wasn't obstructed, despite being underwater. A flurry of bubbles escaped his lips, but somehow, he didn't seem to swallow any water. "Even while you were gone, I couldn't function. You didn't let me move on. I had to follow in your footsteps either way, like a nice little puppet." He grinned and tilted his head.
Ren began wriggling in his chains, praying that he could somehow slip them. The moment he looked down at them, it looked as if every individual link was like an eye, looking up at him with boredom, disgust or amusement. He opened his mouth to answer yet again, but it got filled with water once more. And with every attempt, he was sinking deeper and deeper. Their surroundings were already dark, with not much sunlight reaching them from the surface. In a desperate attempt, Ren began looking around for anything that could save him...
But the only thing that surrounded them was some seaweed, and several corpses in different stages of decay.
Martyn reached over to a blue-haired body next to him and pulled it close to himself. It was also completely overgrown by coral, which poked out of its mouth. The blond man sightd and looked down at Scott.
"He took me in... He was nice to me. And I ruined all of it. Am I right to blame it all on you?" He asked rhetorically once again, looking at Ren again.
"You-" Saline slipped into Ren's mouth again, pulling him further and further down. At this point, he couldn't see anything under him, as there was only the endless abyss of the depth. He wanted to cry out that he didn't want to leave Martyn, that this one time, it was out of his control... But that wouldn't matter, would it? If he was around, he would mess it up in a different manner.
"We can fix it. But only together."
Previously, the faint whisper in the back of Ren's head slipped his attention, as he was too preoccupied by the horrors he was witnessing. But this time... He noticed it. Where did it come from? Was there someone who wanted to save him? Would he even deserve being saved? He shook his head and hung his head low. He couldn't ever argue. Just like Martyn couldn't all this time, unaware of what he's been forced into. Martyn sighed, seeing that he would get no answer from Ren.
"I'll give you that, at least. Once you were gone, I could finally find out how it feels to win. And you know what? Now, I understand you even less."
All of a sudden, the water disappeared. The chains didn't, however, and Ren began falling once again, unable to save himself in any way. He shut his eyes tight, praying for this horrifying dream to finally be over.
In a matter of seconds, he crashed on the ground yet again. Ren huffed in pain as he hit against some sort of hard, stone surface again. He immediately looked around, and recognized the place at first glance. He was sitting right under the Secret Keeper. Martyn was sitting right next to one of the buttons - the one marked Fail . As if he was supposed to tell Ren something. The red of his empty eyesockets now started getting darker, just like the void rot that he also had to deal with. Martyn pulled out his journal, then slid it across the ground towards Ren.
"And you think I don't know everything that you've done to me?" He grinned. After a moment, he pulled up the sleeve of his hoodie. The inside part of his forearm had a few dark veins, clearly marking where void rot poisoned him. "Are you even aware of how many times you pulled us through this?"
"I..." Ren expected another wave of water to pour into his mouth, but of course, he was no longer drowning. "No, I... I don't. I lost count a long, long time ago."
"I'll tell you, then."
Ren's eyes began ringing as he heard the number, and all of a sudden, his head felt even heavier than it had before. Somewhere deep down, he wished he stayed oblivious... But that wouldn't change anything. He still messed up, and the more he knew about that, the better, apparently. He looked at the journal for a moment, then turned away. He knew what he did. Martyn, or whatever that thing was, knew all about what he did. Now, even the things he considered to be good felt shameful and cruel. He hung his head again, tears slowly pouring out of his eyes. Not to mention, the pain in his spine was burning stronger and stronger.
"And even after all of that... You still couldn't save me. The one thing you wanted to do, and you never did."
Ren's head perked up again, and this time, the scenery changed again. They were in the middle of a dense forest. Martyn was laying on his lap, taking shallow, strained breaths... But at the same time, he was standing in front of him, his arms crossed.
"Do you really hate me that much?" The eyeless man frowned, turning away from Ren. The dog opened his mouth, but then looked down at the dying man in his arms. His own hands were bloody - he could only hope it wasn't Martyn's blood. He grabbed his lover's shaky hand.
"Martyn..." He whispered and shut his eyes tight. "I know it doesn't matter anymore, but... I'm sorry... I'm sorry about everything, I... I have to let you go now, don't I...?"
"You talk a lot..."
The mouth of Martyn in his arms didn't seem to move, but somehow, Ren could hear his voice in his head. He shivered at the strange sound. Was that really Martyn speaking, or was that another part of his punishment...?
"I don't need anything. I don't think anything can help me, anyway..."
"I know, I know, I was supposed to-"
"It's fine, Rennie..."
Ren shivered at these words. He loved that nickname, but Martyn used it so rarely... But he could remember the last time when he did.
It was when he was dying in Ren's arms, at the end of Wild Life. Did that memory just return to him...? He tightened his grip on Martyn's hand, wanting to hold on to the memory. Did that mean something he missed earlier...?
"It's been a blast... Even though... I wish it never came to this..."
"And neither do I, now..."
"Do you think... There's a world out there, where we don't have to live like this...?"
The dog smiled weakly, then pulled his hand a little closer and kissed it.
"There has to be. I'll find it, I promise-"
"I had fun with you... And..." For a moment, Martyn's breathing hitched. Ren could feel his lover's body start to slowly fall apart in his arms. "I'll see you... In the next game... Okay...?"
The moment Martyn's body completely crumpled to dust, Ren covered his eyes in shame, as if wanting to hide the same tears he cried every single time. He could tell it was just what Martyn told him... That it was the end, that he had fun, and...
That he wanted to see him in the next game.
Ren slowly pulled his hands away at the realization. It wasn't what Martren told him. They were adamant that in his dying moments, Martyn told him to loop again and fix everything... And the trauma surrounding the moment distorted the memory at first. But he didn't want that... He really did want Martyn to let go, no matter what happens. Even if what comes next isn't a perfect happy ending... He just wanted an ending.
"He's waiting for me..."
"He's not." The eyeless Martyn spoke up, mockery and malice in his words. "After all you've done, you think he wants to see you ever again?"
All of a sudden, Ren felt a tug on his stomach, as if something pulled him to the ground. But there was ground. The dense forest, the ashes of his lover, the dark, eye-ridden sky, all of that vanished. One again, he was in the void, surrounded by a flurry of feathers. Each time a feather touched his body, his brain filled with new images from the previous loops. All of them were images of pain and suffering. Every time that Martyn was angry, or upset, or hurt, or devastated. Every time he lost a life because of Ren's incompetence. Every time he failed to save or comfort his lover. Every time he forced him to do something he would never want. Every time someone else had to suffer, just because Ren had a single dream he failed to fulfill over and over and over again.
"You wanted to be a hero, didn't you?" Ren heard the booming voice of his captor over his head. "Then you shall die like the villain you actually are."
The pain in his back intensified. It was almost as if someone wanted to pull his spine out of his body. He looked down at his hands, which were shaking as void rot spreaded over them. The rotting taste entered his mouth when the infection spread over to his mouth, pulling and gnawing at him.
So that was it. After trying for so long, this is how he was going to die. Broken down into nothing. Just what he deserved. He shut his eyes tight, a pained cry escaping his mouth.
"Martyn..." Ren whispered weakly. "I'm sorry... I failed..."
"I had fun with you..."
A weak, warm feeling filled his chest. It was nothing compared to the crushing pain of void rot continuing to consume it... But at that one moment, it made Ren hesitate before completely giving up and letting himself up to the Watchers.
"And... I'll see you..."
It was a message, didn't it...? But what could it mean...?
"In the next game... Okay...?"
But he couldn't just wake up from it, could he? He should just succumb to his guilt and misery, let the Watchers punish him for his misdeeds, and...
And leave Martyn alone. Martyn, who was waiting for him.
"Martyn...?"
Ren wouldn't dare to open his eyes. The feathers brushing against his body felt more like razors now. He could actually feel his bones crack, as the force pulling on his back didn't stop. His insides were falling apart, just like back when Martren was still there.
But that couldn't be the end. Even if he did deserve that... Martyn didn't. He wanted to see Ren...
He had to wake up.
Wake up, Ren thought, unable to think of any better way on how to snap out of it. There had to be a way. Come on, wake up, wake up... He's out there, he's waiting for you! He wants to see you! He doesn't hate you!
"Martyn... I'll make it right... For you... For us."
And then, he opened his eyes.
Ren took his first deep breath in what felt like years. The air felt fresh, a bit cold, and smelled like an old forest. He was laying on the grass, in the middle of a clearing. At first, the place where he watched Martyn die came to his mind - but this was clearly a different spot. The trees were taller, darker, and even from where he was, he could see a line of mountains on the horizon. For a few moments, Ren just laid there, basking in the afternoon sun. He didn't recognize the place... And he felt like he didn't need to. For the first time in ages, he was ready to just greet whatever happened.
"Oh, Ren! Hi!"
Immediately, the dog's ears perked up and he sat up. His whole body felt stiff, but he could still move. The pain on his back was numb and manageable at this point. He turned around, spotting BigB with a small stone axe in his hands.
"Bee...?"
"We thought you wouldn't come at all! You need me to explain the new rules?"
"This... This isn't 3rd Life...?"
BigB tilted his head in confusion.
"No...? It's-"
"Oh gosh, Bee!" Ren immediately got up and ran up to his soulmate, then hugged him tightly and spun around with him in his arms. He began laughing in the first time in what felt like eons. "This is finally something new! I... I moved on! Finally!"
"I can tell..." BigB chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Speaking of, Martyn was asking about you... He wasn't sure whether you're joining this time..."
"Where is he?"
Ren could feel the fear of making a wrong decision creep up into the back of his head. He really wanted to leave Martyn be, and never bother him again, just like he deserved, but... If he was telling the truth in his dying moments, and he really did want to see him again...
"Martyn? I think he set up somewhere north from here. Want me to lead you there?"
"Yes please..." Ren sighed and hugged Bee even tighter. "I'm so sorry for everything..."
"It's alright, dude, we all wake up late every now and then." BigB chuckled and grabbed his soulmate's hand. "So? You wanna go see your bf?"
Ren took a deep breath. Now that he's come this far... He had to see this through, one last time. Even if the Watchers were right, and there would be no happy ending waiting for them.
"Yes. Lead me to him."
Notes:
We're in the endgame now! Only one chapter left! Give me all your predictions, opinions and thoughts in the comments, I love reading them and they're incredibly helpful and reassuring!
Chapter 55: Don't be a god. Be a dog.
Summary:
Ren and Martyn make a decision for the new future. This time, together.
Notes:
This might actually be my new record for speed when it comes to writing. I've been preparing for this finale for so long that the whole thing, just over 2,8k words, took me a bit over an hour (with only an hour to write the first 2,4k words). Welp, let's get to it then!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
During their whole walk to where Martyn supposedly was, Ren felt on edge. He couldn't help his hands from fidgeting, as he played with the rim of his shirt or kept stroking through his long hair. Every now and then, he glanced at BigB and was in awe of how calm his friend was. He looked as if he was completely oblivious to the loops - but as much as Ren knew him, that couldn't be the case. He was just simply too perceptive. The other possibility was that he knew something, and was surprisingly calm about that. They did escape at last, but Ren couldn't stop thinking about this being another trick by the Watchers. What if the nightmare wasn't over, and as soon as he'd meet Martyn, something horrible would happen all over again? Or worse - what if Martyn didn't actually want to see him ever again? That thought frightened the dog more than the idea of being trapped in an eternal loop of suffering. He would never forgive himself if the damage he's done to Martyn tore their relationship apart, and at that point, he very much felt like this could be the case.
To distract himself, Ren looked down at his hands. From what he could see, void rot has completely ceased to exist - although it left a web of burn-like scars on Ren's body. He tried touching the scars on his arms, and to his relief, they didn't ache. Maybe he didn't get away from it scot-free, but he felt very fortunate to only end up with numerous scars, rather than permanent disability. Or at least, it seemed like pretty mild consequences so far.
"Did anyone mention something about me...?" He quietly asked Bee on the way. The man turned to him, then pondered for a moment.
"I don't think so... Once we got here, Grian mentioned something about 'the end of these stupid loops' or something..." BigB shrugged. "And, uh, like I said, Martyn was asking about you. But once he saw you weren't there, he just left."
Ren shivered. Maybe Martyn just asked about him out of courtesy. Or because he wanted to make sure the dog would be gone for good. He shook his head, trying to push these feelings aside. He'd be fine... They had to be. He could no longer depend on getting another chance in case of a mistake. This was his one last shot, and if he messed it up... That's it.
"Bee...?" He whispered quietly. "I'm... I'm sorry for abandoning you. We're soulmates, and I treated you like you were nothing... It was not cool, dude."
The man chuckled with an amused expression.
"We don't have to believe in all this soulmate bullshit," He said, "But... We can still be friends. You're a cool guy, man."
"I am?" Ren chuckled nervously and turned his face away to hide his blush. "I just... I love you like a friend, dude. Like a brother, even. But..."
BigB nodded.
"I get it. No worries, I also feel about you this way" He smiled. "I don't need a man, or anyone else, to do all this 'romance' stuff... But if you have your eyes on someone else, I won't stop you."
"Thanks, man."
Ren suddenly stopped when BigB grabbed him by the wrist. He then looked at the man, and then followed the gesture Bee made. They were standing on the edge of a forest, which opened into a large valley, shaded by a mountain chain in the distance. In the middle of the valley, there was a structure that resembled a half-finished house. The skeleton of the build was there, but the walls were still hollow and there was no roof, just a floor. And in the middle of the build stood Martyn, putting some resources into his chest. Ren gasped at the sight, as if he just saw the eighth wonder of the world.
Martyn took his shirt off and wrapped his hoodie around his hips, leaving him only in a tank top that left his shoulders exposed. His hair was tied into a messy bun, with his headband keeping the loose strands from falling into his hair. He looked focused, as if he didn't even notice someone coming. Ren stared at him for a few long moments, and BigB even had to close his mouth when the dog left it agape. He immediately took a step back.
"No, no, I can't go there..." Ren whispered and covered his eyes "What am I thinking? Look at how happy he is... If I go there, I'll ruin everything-"
"If you don't go there, you'll never resolve the stuff that happened between you two." BigB put his hands on the shoulders of the taller man. "You'll be just stuck in this awkward stage of not talking to one another. And this is probably even worse."
"Then... What should I do...?"
"Talk to him."
"And what if he hates me?"
"Then he hates you. At least you'll know where you're standing, and you can both finally move on."
The dog took a deep breath. BigB was right... After all this time, he couldn't just leave this whole situation unresolved. Worst case scenario, he would just apologize to Martyn and never see him again. Best case scenario... He didn't want to think about that. It wouldn't happen anyway. He took one more glance at his soulmate, then hugged him one last time.
"Thanks, dude... You're the best." He whispered, allowing his tail to wag a little bit. The man chuckled fondly.
"I know, man. Now go, talk to him."
After breaking away from the hug, Ren took one more deep breath, then slowly walked out of the forest. He looked up at the clear, peachy sky. The sun was beginning to set, basking the area in a golden light. Somehow, Martyn looked even prettier like this than Ren had ever seen. This was probably the most damaged version that Ren encountered... But in his head, he was the most beautiful version of him out of all of them. He couldn't keep staring at his wide shoulders, his strong, thick arms, his focused eyes...
Until he didn't notice how close he got to the foundation of the house, when he tripped on the stairs and fell right on his face.
Martyn flinched at the sound, then turned to the dog. Almost right away, he started laughing at the sight of Ren laying there, helpless, too embarrassed to move. He closed the chest and approached the stairs, crossing his arms and standing over Ren.
"So many loops, and you still don't know to look when you walk..."
"I'm not a fast learner, dude." Ren laughed nervously, collecting himself from the ground. He wasn't sure how playful he could actually be - Martyn's amused persona could very much be a mask hiding hatred and anger at the dog. He hid his hands in his pockets, not keen on showing that they were shaking. "It's a nice, uh, place you got here..."
"I don't think I'll be done today, but it's fine." Martyn shrugged, looking back at his house, and then at Ren again. He raised an eyebrow. "Does it remind you of anything?"
Ren's ears perked up, and he turned to look at the house. The wooden frame on a stone foundation, the familiar layout... His heart pounded a little harder for a moment.
"It looks like... Our house. Back at Renchanting."
Martyn hummed in agreement, then opened the door. They were not obstructing much, as there was no walls around them.
"Yep... Took a bit of inspiration, if you don't mind."
"No, no, I don't! Can I, uh... Can I come inside...?"
"Sure. Just don't fall on your face again."
THe dog slowly approached the entrance. He hesitated for a second, before finally taking a step over the door frame. Martyn took a seat on his chests, but did not look away from Ren for even a second. Ren looked over at him once again, and only then noticed the remnant of void rot on Martyn's skin - a burn mark on the inside of his forearm. It wasn't very large, but it was noticeable.
"Does it hurt...?" He asked, pointing at the place. He expected the answer from his own experience, but he wanted to make sure. The blond man looked down at the new scar.
"Not really... I guess they've done you worse?" He asked.
"I... I guess..."
"Come here. I need to see."
Ren carefully approached the chests and turned around, allowing Martyn to peek behind his collar and down his back. The man let out a cringed groan as he saw the large, expansive scar covering Ren's whole back. It looked the nastiest on his nape, but the beheading wound finally healed over. Finally, Martyn let go of his collar.
"That looks like real nasty shit..." He admitted, "But you don't seem to be in pain."
"I'm not." Ren admitted, then sat under one of the half-finished walls. He looked up at Martyn, almost like a believer looking up at the statue of his god. He went silent for a moment, looking for the rights. "I... I know this probably means nothing to you, but I'm... I'm so, so sorry, Martyn. For everything."
Martyn nodded.
"You should be. What even possessed you to do all of this?"
"I-" Ren gasped, but stopped as all his words suddenly left him. He hung his head low. He could feel as if the accusatory tone of Martyn's voice stabbed him right in the heart. He should've expected it... But now, he had to see this through. Martyn waited for him to speak up again, but then sighed.
"Once we got here... The memories returned to me." He whispered. "They're still hazy, but there are more of them than there were back during Wild Life. And now I remember how it all started."
"You do...?"
"Yeah..." The man sighed and shook his head with a bitter chuckle. "You're a freak, Ren..."
"I... I know..."
"But aren't we both...?"
Ren looked up at him in shock. He expected to hear anything from Martyn, but not this... In an instant, the guilty feeling began burning stronger in his chest, almost suffocating him.
"No, you're not a freak! You're a wonderful guy! You're-"
"A wonderful guy wouldn't agree to behead his friend." Martyn pointed out with a sly smirk. He leaned forward a bit. "To be clear, I'm not saying this to excuse you... You still did some horrible shit. Not only to me, but to others too. And to yourself too, probably."
"Can you... Can you forgive me...?" Ren asked carefully, then quickly added "I- I don't mean right now, obviously! I mean... Do you think you could ever forgive me...?"
Martyn pondered the question for a moment. He hummed, resting his head on his hands and his elbows on his knees. He's been thinking about this exact question from the moment they arrived on this server, and since the memories came back... He finally knew that Ren was being honest. He promised to not loop them, and he kept his words. And as far as he could reach in his memory, he never broke this promise before... Probably because he's never made it before. At the same time, looking at Ren filled him with some... Conflicting emotions. On one hand, he felt strange, unsure about what to feel. On the other hand, whenever he looked at the dog's shy expression... He couldn't help but smile fondly. This was a difficult situation, and he had no one to consult him, but... There was one thing he still needed confirmation on. Martyn leaned forward a bit.
"Would you be ready to... Start again...?"
"Again?" Ren's ears perked up. "As in, you want us to loop back again?-"
"NO! No, no no no no no, no no!" Martyn's nervous denial quickly turned into laughter. The laugh quickly stopped, and he added in the most serious tone Ren had ever heard from him "Don't. Ever suggest that. Ever again. Okay?"
Ren gulped.
"Of course."
"What I mean is... Would you be ready for us to start again...? I guess we can't forget about what happened, but... Is there a world where we can just... Stay together, as friends, or partners, or whatever else, and just... Take life as it comes? No loops, no do-overs, no rewriting history, and definitely no weird deals with these winged freaks" He frowned at the reminder of Watchers. "Can we just... Do things the way normal people do...?"
Ren went silent. The question was scary, and after getting so used to just erasing his mistakes and trying again, the idea of having to confront the future without second takes felt scary. But... He could see it in Martyn's eyes. He wanted that. He craved closure, craved a normal, safe, equal relationship. The dog still feared what would happen if something went well, but...
"What if we try, and... Something goes wrong...? What if we decide that we want to split, and... Not be together anymore...?"
"If we change our minds, we just..." Martyn shrugged "We change our minds. But we both get to decide. Doesn't that sound nice...?"
Ren could swear the man's voice broke for just a moment. His eyes weren't teary, but they shined so bright with life, and hope, and excitement... Maybe he didn't truly hate Ren. He really did want this to work out, even if...
"What if it's not perfect...? I... I did all of this, because I believed we deserved a happy ending... Or, at least, that you do..."
"Rennie..." Martyn chuckled and shook his head once more. "There are no happy endings. Or at least, you can't just give us a happy ending. If we decide to stay, and work on this... Maybe one day, we can have our happy ending. But who said we can't have some fun on the way?"
Ren didn't even try to stop a smile that just appeared on his face. Martyn was right... And maybe if he listened to him earlier, this whole mess could've been avoided... They didn't avoid it, but they had a chance to leave that experience stronger and wiser, and with the knowledge how to make the future work for both of them. The dog finally looked up at him with hope.
"Then, uh... Yeah. I think I... I think I'm ready to start again."
"Great!" Martyn clapped his hands and got up from his spot. "Come on, you gotta help me finish building this thing... What do you think about the glorious return of Ren's Enchanted Emporium, also known as Renchanting?"
"I think... I think we should change the name. So that it's not all just about me." Ren chuckled and approached Martyn. The blond man hummed, deep in thought, not even noticing as the dog put his hands on the man's shoulders.
"Hmmm... That could be a mouthful... Something like... Martrenchanting...? Combines both out names, and..." He cut off when he noticed Ren's face going pale at the suggestion. He immediately chuckled. "Okay, okay, bad idea, sure, whatever. We'll think about the name later. And what about the slogan?-"
"So you... Forgive me...?" Ren repeated quietly. Previously, he hesitated before asking, as he was sure that the answer was no... But after what Martyn said, he suddenly felt his hope return to him. Maybe there was still a chance for them...
Martyn glanced up and down at Ren, then smiled.
"Not yet. You still gotta make up for all the shit you've pulled me through" He said with a surprisingly fond smile. "But... If you promise to never pull out stunts like this... I maaaaaay forgive you before we both grow old and crusty."
"Yes! Yes, of course! I promise, I promise!" Ren immediately picked up his friend and spun around with him in his arms. Martyn let out a fond chuckle and hugged Ren tightly. For the first time since he could remember, his smell actually filled him with a sense of safety. Maybe somewhere deep, deep down, he wanted to forgive Ren right away... But he'd rather keep his cards close to his chest, at least for now. From what it looked like, however, Ren was going to keep his word, and make it up to him. And then some, probably. "You're the best man in the world... I love you so much, dude..."
"You're very enthusiastic to love a guy who beheaded you like, a bajillion times" Martyn teased, and smiled as Ren left a kiss on his cheek. "And now, since we're both the founder of this new Renchanting... Any ideas for the name, or the slogan?"
Ren smiled widely, looking right into the eyes of his friend. Maybe the circumstances weren't perfect, and they still had a lot of work ahead of them, but... With all the things he learned, he wouldn't have it any other way moving forward.
"Well, I might have one idea for a slogan..."
Notes:
AND IT'S FINISHED! Oh my fucking god, I thought this would never end. And I thought Canary's thrill took long to write xdddd
As much as I loved writing this fic, I'm glad it's finally over, and I can move on to other things. I really hope you guys enjoyed this story, as this was easily my longest and most difficult work so far (just checked. This is longer than my original story that I wrote and ended up never publishing. That one was roughly 114k words. This one is bordering on 160k. Crazy stuff). Please please let me know what you think, and maybe what your favorite part was? I love reading your comments, and thanks to all of you for every comment, and kudos, and every fanart! You guys are incredible and I'm so happy I get to make stuff for y'all :3And now, a quick announcement:
- Until the end of June, my uploads might slow down again, because it's exam season again and I really don't want to waste a year of college by failing my exams TwT However, despite that...
- There will be one shots from the HTS!AU universe. Probably only two, because I only have ideas for two - they will both be prequels, showing off different loops and different relationships between Ren and Martyn. And as a treat, they will be taking place during Limited and Secret Life :3
- There will be a new long fic from me coming very soon! This will be my first fic here where I primarily explore a wlw relationship. I don't want to spoil much, so here's all I can tell you right now: Gempearl fantasty AU. If everything works out well, it will premiere right as June starts ^^
- My other fics stay without changes for now. Burn my kingdom come will probably wrap up soonish, can't tell you when exactly (so if you haven't read it yet, please do!). Before the new Life series starts, I will make probably one more Preservers!AU oneshot at the very least. There is one more AU I'm planning, but I can't tell you exactly when it starts - and even when it does, it will mostly be loosely connected one shots.Again, thanks to all of you for supporting me this far, and I'd love to see what you guys think!
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