Would you fall in love with me again if you knew all I'd done?

by SweetToooth4u

Summary:

After another dreadful moment of stretched silence he spoke, voice hesitant and quiet. "My name is Xelqua."

Xisuma only sighed, shaking his head lightly before speaking. "Your name bud. Not theirs."

The reply made Xelqua freeze up, the brunette having to bury down the urge to sob at such a simple phrase. He took a slow breath, and he did not sob, his voice only wobbling slightly as he spoke again, this time a little louder then before. "My name is Grian."

 

~ ☆ ~

Err yeah idk how to do summaries but grumbo Fanfic AU thing thay popped into my brain when I was listening to EPIC :3

Notes:

Babies first Fanfic go easy on me guys.... Anyways uhm yes characters not ccs pls don't be a freak and uhhh. Yes 👍
Wrote while listening to "Would you fall in love with me again" from epic.. No beta we die

 

(also so sorry if the tags r weird idk how to work this blasted website... Mean to me)

Might make this a series with a bunch of random oneshots if that seems to be smth people want but don't hold me to that...

Chapter 1

Grian, no, Xelqua is a monster. He'd ended the lives and destroyed the worlds of hundreds, thousands of players. Destroyed the very codes like they'd been nothing. Actions all done under the guiding hand of gods who relished in the torment of the mortals they watched over.

He'd been in that lightless realm for years, his mortality mutilated and erased like it was some sort of pesky bug on the wall.

He could barely remember the faces of those he'd loved, the laughter and warmth of care. All those niceities ripped away by ruthless gods, he was merely a pawn for them, a new shiny doll for them to puppet and play at their whims.

 

They got bored eventually, years passed and they grew tired tired of his lashing out and defiance. And just like that, not unlike a toy thrown to the side by a bored child, they banished him from their realm. Sending him to wherever his code is tethered.

Ideally, this would send a player to their home world or at the very least to last server they'd visited, given they hadn't been banned; but that'd be too kind, wouldn't it?

 

Evo, Grian's first real server, lost to the destruction of Xelqua's mentors, had been his homeworld. The young admin having rewired his code to read it as so, his true homeworld echoing far too much pain through his growing years. He'd left it behind, and he was safe in Evo so surely it'd be fine?

He regrets those naive actions as he's deposited into the middle of the hub, where all players with homeworlds lost to time end up.

 

Xelqua takes a moment to brace himself as the market around him goes quiet from it's bustling chatter, all eyes turned towards the new arrival. He holds his breath as he pushes himself to his feet, feathers ruffling as he pulls his wings close to his body, trying to appear as small as he feels in this moment.

It's silent for a few long moments as he's gawked at. Players taking hesitant steps away from his battered form with anxious glances towards those around them. Whispers from the vendors and shoppers alike begin echoing into his ears as the crowd starts to stir.

The noise becomes too much, long suppressed emotions brimming to Xelqua's eyes. He turns on his heel and darts away through the crowd, people jumping to the side as he passes with fearful yelps.

Xelqua doesn't pay attention to where his feet take him, only slowing as the whispering fades from earshot. As he slows, the brunette sways on his feet for a moment before dropping down onto the ground, pulling his knees close to his chest in a pitiful mockery of an embrace. His wings come to cocoon around his body as the long buried sobs break from his throat. Only one thought fills his mind as he breaks, alone in a dirty alleyway, the one muttered from player to player at the sight of him.

There's a monster in the marketplace

Chapter 2

Summary:

Hi all chapters r posted in one day bc I wrote this in one sitting... Shh

This was supposed to be a normal shopping trip, just some new guitar strings and some new wrenches since he'd accidentally left his in the rain.

That was what Xisuma chided to himself as he followed the directions he'd been given by a frankly irritating vendor, his brow furrowed in concern beneath his helm, the interacting from earlier playing in his mind.

 

~ ☆ ~

 

"There's a monster lurking round the market, it spawned here before runnin' off earlier."

The statement catches Xisuma off guard, he's just trying to buy a guitar string, the last thing he expects is for a vendor to offhandedly mention a mob spawning problem; wasn't the hub set to peaceful?

He doesn't let his confusion get the better of him, handling it with grace as he replies quickly, "Did the admins change the difficulty? Thought that would be something they've got to let players know about." he mused, an eyebrow raising under his mask as he placed his guitar strings into the bag hanging at his side.

The vendor shakes his head with an amused laugh, "No no, that'd be a sight though. Could you image a creeper spawning in the middle of the hub? It'd be a disaster." he joked, before his face fell, eyes darting off before returning to Xisuma. "Though your misunderstanding gave me a chuckle, I am being serious. Some... thing spawned just over there. One of those odd monsters that looks like it's meant to be a player." the distaste in his voice rang clear, and Xisuma's jaw tightened under his mask.

The admin kept his composure, keeping his voice polite as he replied to the man, "Ah, I see. Which way did you say they went again? Wouldn't want to go running right into them." he questioned, ignoring the twitch of a grimace from the older man as he referred to this 'monster' as a they rather than an it.

"It ran off that way, a few people said they saw it duck into an alleyway." he gestured vaugely towards an emptier section of the market that broke off into a few run down alleys.

The man was quick to thank the vendor before striding away towards the alleys, a new goal for today in mind.

 

~ ☆ ~

 

Xisuma didn't know what sort of hybrid he was expecting when he asked the vendors where this 'monster' had ran. He'd heard the judgemental whispers before, seen he way players gawked at anyone who's genes mixed with those of the classic mobs that haunted the darkness of their worlds. His server had become a safe place for those who were deemed monsters.

Despite all that, the last thing he would've expected to find huddling in the dark alleyway he was directed towards was a watcher, and a sobbing one at that. If he were any different he'd have left that moment, no player left unknowing of the damage such a being could cause. If he were any different he'd have called the admins of the server to warn them of such a dangerous being residing in their world.

He'd have left and done all those things, if only he didn't bare the same mark of godhood.

Xisuma hesitated for a moment before taking a few steps towards the watcher, noticing as he froze up and quieted from the footsteps, wide brown eyes peeking out from behind the blanket of purple feathers after a few long moments of silence.

Xisuma crouched by the stranger, his heart aching at the sight, brown eyes, not purple. This wasn't a born watcher, he'd seen players turned plenty of times, the one thing they never lost was their eyes.

"Hey buddy, not gonna hurt you, you don't gotta worry." he spoke carefully, placing his hands on his knees in clear sight of the other before sitting down in front of him, watching him quietly for a few moments. The admin let out a gentle breath of relief as he watched the stranger slowly pull his wings away from his face, staring back at Xisuma with wet, puffy eyes.

"My name is Xisuma, I'm an admin of a server known as Hermitcraft. I'm not sure if you've heard of it because I made sure they can't find me." he chuckled lightly, seeing the gears turn in the others eyes at his implications, though he didn't give him long to overthink it. "Can I ask your name?"

 

~ ☆ ~

 

Xelqua was scared when he heard the sound of approaching footsteps, bracing himself to be sent into the endless expanse of void between worlds. He quieted his sobs and stilled his shaking, some childish glimpse of hope thinking that just maybe if he went still they'd think he died or something and leave him alone.

This of course did not work, and the stranger only came closer. Xelqua took a breath before risking a look out from behind the sanctity of his wings. Eyes meeting those of a man hidden behind some sort of helmet.

He prepared to flee as the man spoke, but found himself suprised as the stranger sat, his voice calm as he promised not to bring harm to Xelqua.

 

The watcher debated if he should really trust this guy, though he didn't take long to reach the conclusion of 'Do I really have another option?'. 

He slowly drew his wings back, exposing his tear stained face and battered form to the stranger, heart lurching in anxiety at the action.

The man, Xisuma, caught him off gaurd with his words. Recognition and relief sparking in his mind at the wording, he understood. Before he could think of some sort of reply Xisuma asked his name, and Xelqua opened his mouth before snapping it shut again.

After another dreadful moment of stretched silence he spoke, voice hesitant and quiet. "My name is Xelqua."

Xisuma only sighed, shaking his head lightly before speaking. "Your name bud. Not theirs."

The reply made Xelqua freeze up, the brunette having to bury down the urge to sob at such a simple phrase. He took a slow breath, and he did not sob, his voice only wobbling slightly as he spoke again, this time a little louder then before. "My name is Grian."

Chapter 3

Summary:

Yippee final chapter... Grumbo be upon ye

It isn't long after that interaction that Grian finds himself in a new server, the one Xisuma had mentioned, hermitcraft.
It's far different from his past one, from Evo, but it's a fresh start, and it's free from the watchers.

He's still not used to hearing his name, in the week he's been away from that empty realm he's realized he has a lot of things to get used to and learn. The world around them had updated so much since he'd been taken, half the blocks and items he saw around him were foreign and strange to the brunette.

Up untill now, he'd been staying in a small private server that also belonged to Xisuma, the admin having been kind enough to lend it to him while he spoke to his server members about the possibility of Grian joining them.

He'd come to learn so much yet so little of this group. Each member had some sort of trait or feature that caused them to be outcasted by people like the vendors in the hub, the server being a safe place for anyone who appeared different than others. The only catch for staying there was there had to be a vote.

Xisuma would ask each member if they were okay with you joining the server, and if you got the go ahead then you could join! Usally the voting took less than a day, but one of the members was experiencing some personal problems and their vote took a little bit longer to be gotten.

 

The waiting had drove Grian insane. He couldn't describe how relieved he felt when Xisuma came to him with the good news, and helped him hop over to the server, it was overwhelming at first, spawning into a fresh world to nothing but a nether portal and a forest around you, but he calmed down quickly, only for his anxiety to rise further.

He didn't have long to panic over the fact that there was absolutely nobody else here and he was stranded before people began pouring out of the portal, playful laughter and banter filling the air.

The watcher shifted on his feet, but let himself relax as he spotted Xisuma amongst the faces, though before he could attempt to make his way over, a shout caught his attention, his eyes darting to see a scarred Vex playfully shoving over a tall man with black hair. His body froze, nausea lurching in his chest as the taller man's face came into view.

 

"Grian are you sure this is safe? What if killing the dragon causes something? We don't know what these gods want with your server?" an anxious voice met Grian's ears as he got ready to leave his private world for his main one.

The brunette looked up and gave a gentle sigh, fondness coating his gaze. "Oh Mumbo you worry too much, I'll be alright I promise. They don't seem to be malicious unless we do something to piss em off." he reassured the worried man, standing and giving him a quick kiss to the cheek.

"I'll be home before dinner, you don't have to worry okay? I'm not gonna let some random gods widow my husband." he declared, confident, though he could see the doubt on the tallers face.

"I-.. Alright, I trust you G. Be home before dinner okay? I love you." the vampire leaned down and pressed a kiss into his husband's hair, receiving one to his nose in return.

"Love you too Mumbo, and I'll be home, don't worry." he promised again, giving the man one last hug before turning and walking out the door of his home, hopping to server where he would-

 

Grian is snapped out of his memories by a gentle hand on his shoulder. His eyes snap up to meet the concerned face of Xisuma, along with a sort of cyborg creeper and a short brunette girl with pink fairy wings. The clearing has gone silent and he distantly notes that he's no longer standing, instead sitting sprawled on the grass.

"Grian? You with us bud?" Xisuma repeats, a frown evident in his voice. "You started freaking out and tripped on a rock while walking backwards.. Weren't responding to us either." he explained, glancing towards the creeper hybrid before looking back at Grian.

The man tried to rake his mind for something, anything to explain why he'd gotten so spooked, but he couldn't think of anything other than-

" Mumbo " his voice comes out choked, confusion mixing with fear and grief as he says the name, watching as the three around him freeze before Xisuma tilts his head.

"Do you.. Know mumbo?" he questions gently, glancing towards the lanky man who's milling about with the other hermits. Grian can only nod weakly before Xisuma turns to the fairy. "Stress, can you tell Mumbo to meet me over in the woods?" he turns his attention to the creeper, "Doc, make sure the hermits don't blow up the world while I'm away."

Grian feels like radio static as the two walk away and he's pulled to his feet then led into the woods nearby. He only processes what's happening when they're already at a stop in a small, dimly lit clearing. "Wait wait no you can't-he can't see me." he suddenly blurts, static clearing from his body as he tenses, fear filling his veins.

He doesn't give Xisuma time to question as he begins pacing, "He can't-he can't see me like this he can't-" Grian debates running into the forest and never looking back, but can't do anything before the man himself steps into the clearing.

 

"X? You asked to see-....me?" Mumbo's voice trails off as he spots Grian, recognition flashing on his face before it cycles through emotions. Joy, anguish, grief, hope.

Everything is silent, it's as if time freezes on the spot, yet after a long moment of the stillness Xisuma clears his throat. "I'm going to go make sure nothing has been blown to shreds yet." he hums, saying nothing more before walking off in the way they came, leaving the two alone once more.

They stand on opposite ends of the clearing, and Grian debates making a run for it, but he can't bring himself to move. He watches as Mumbo slowly walks over to him, tears brimming the vampires eyes as he goes to reach toward Grian. His face flashes with hurt as the brunette finally moves, only to take a panicked step backwards, a frown twisting onto his face as he watch drops his hand back to his side. "Grian I-.. Is it really you? It.. It looks like you. You have your eyes and your-and your bangs, you're thinner and you've got-you've got wings and you look so-so tired and-is this some sort of dream?"

"No." Grian stops Mumbo before he can say anything further, eyes cast down shamefully as he brings his arms to wrap around himself in an imitation of a hug. "Mumbo I-.. I'm not the person you loved. I'm not the man you married. I've done unspeakable things and you-you don't...I'm not your Grian anymore. I'm something, someone else."

The vampire's frown only deepens, mouth opening and closing a few times before setting into a frown, quiet for a few moments before speaking again, voice still. "What things Grian? What kinds of things did you do that was so terrible?"

Grian flinches, just barely, at the question, before screwing his eyes shut as he begins to speak. Might as well get this over with. "I've killed.. So many players. I destroyed so many worlds along with the players inside like their lives were nothing, I've got the blood of thousands on my hands I-I'm a monster Mumbo. I did everything they asked of me."

 

The clearing goes still once more, silence deafening around the two as it stretches on for just a mere few seconds, yet they each felt like their own eternity. It's only broken when Mumbo speaks again, his expression something unreadable. "Well.. If that's all true, then give me back your wedding band."

And Grian wants to cry, he wants to cry because he is a monster and Mumbo knows he is a monster. Yet instead he pauses, his face twisting as he let's out a laugh at how incredulous the statement is. "All do respect Mumbo we didn't have wedding bands? We planned to get them after evo was over because I didn't want to lose it between updates?" his voice was laced with confusion, and it showed on his face as Mumbo began to smile.

 

"My husband was the only other player who knew that. So you're my husband!" he declared, earning a noise of protest from Grian. "Mumbo you-no that's not how this works. Did you not hear anything I said?"

 

The vampire's smile drops slightly, expression becoming serious as he sighs and grabs Grian's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Grian do you really think I care? I've wished upon every star in every sky to see you again I don't care what you've done. I'd fall in love with you over and over again, in every world and every universe, no matter how you change or how many years we're apart. You're my husband Grian, I love you. "

 

The words ring in Grian's head and he feels tears bubbling in his throat. He can't bring himself to argue, only letting out a quiet sob before lurching forward into Mumbos chest, sobs shaking his body as he clings to the taller like a lifeline. He feels arms wrap around him, and for the first time in years he feels like he's home again.

 

And if Grian's hair is damp with tears, and Mumbo's shirt in a similar state when they exit the woods, fingers interlocked. Nobody mentions it, because it's not important.

And if it takes years for Grian to unlearn Xelqua then so be it. No matter how many nights are spent waking up in cold sweat from the memories, he won't be waking up alone; and isn't that what matters?

Notes:

Sorry if this isn't the best I've never done this before I just have block men infecting my brain so I GOTTA do smth about it

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of Unlearning Xelqua