Chapter Text
Alex had been about three swipes away from giving up on Adapt – and possibly throwing her phone out the window – when one profile made her hesitate. She wasn’t sure what made her take a second look at the blonde woman; she was striking, yes, but there was no shortage of beautiful women on the app. The proudly worn crucifix necklace was certainly a statement of… something; probably either a really bad sign or a really good one. Given that it would be weird for a homophobe to be using a women-only dating service, Alex was willing to take a chance on it being the latter.
She scrolled down to see if there were more pictures, finding just one, labeled ‘self-portrait.’ That was what made Alex swipe right. The woman was clearly a talented artist, and the gentle caricature effortlessly walked the line between self-deprecating and self-confident. There was something about this woman which made Alex think that, whether a date with her led anywhere or not, it would be time well spent.
No Match.
Alex shrugged. That could just mean the other woman hadn’t seen her profile yet. It was what she always told herself – but that didn’t mean it wasn’t true. Since she was only really testing the waters, Alex didn’t mind waiting for the right woman to swipe right on her.
Kate still wasn’t too happy about Alyssa installing Adapt on her phone and cajoling her into setting up a profile. She didn’t know why she’d let her friend talk her into it. No, that was unfair; she knew exactly why: Kate was desperately lonely. And so she’d promised to give it a try, and Kate always kept her promises. If her oldest friends knew that, and occasionally took advantage of it… well, at least she was confident that they had her best interests at heart.
Of course, the app itself was a dilemma. The first profile she looked at, she was unsure about. She didn’t really want to swipe right, but swiping left was like just… discarding this woman, and that seemed callous. She closed the app, turned off her phone, and tried to forget about it. A few days later, in their weekly call, Max – who had of course talked to Alyssa – ever so casually asked how she’d been getting on with Adapt. He was understanding, but also ever so slightly disappointed; and that Kate couldn’t stand.
Later that evening, she picked up her phone, took a deep breath, and opened Adapt. The woman whose profile she’d been unsure about before stared at her accusingly. “It’s no different from walking down the street,” Kate told herself, “I wouldn’t hit on every woman I saw.” She chuckled. “I wouldn’t hit on any of them.” And with that, she swiped left. She continued to slowly swipe through women; mostly left, but a couple right – although without matching, and always after carefully studying their profile and photos.
She was about to call it a day, but hesitated on seeing one last profile. The woman in the picture was sitting down with a guitar, looking… thoughtful? pensive? frustrated? Kate decided that she must be in the middle of composing a song, trying to find the right words and chords. She scrolled to the next photo where the woman, perhaps a little younger, was wearing a silly red hat with a feather in it, and had her guitar slung over her back. The person standing next to her was cropped out of shot, but Kate could see from their shadow that they seemed to be wearing a horned Viking helmet. I have to find out what this is about, she thought, and swiped right.
It’s a match!
“Now what?” Kate muttered. Suddenly the whole thing seemed a lot more real. Hesitantly, she tapped on the chat icon that had appeared. It would be rude not to send a message, right?
It turned out that Kate lived over in Boulder, so rather than picking a spot either there or in Haven Springs, Alex found a little indie coffee shop in Golden that was about half an hour away for both of them, and arranged to meet her there the following weekend. On the drive out, she was nervous; it was the first date she’d been on since… well, just since. By the sounds of it, the same applied to Kate, plus it was presumably her first date with a woman. Alex was very much keeping her expectations low. When she arrived, she saw Kate already sat at a table in the window. Their eyes met, and Kate raised a hand slightly in greeting. Alex smiled, and waved back, then headed inside to place her order.
“Hi, I’m Alex Chen,” she said in greeting.
“Kate Wood,” she half held out her hand, then frowned. “Sorry, I’m not really sure how to greet you.”
“Well, a handshake is fine, but how about a quick hug?”
By way of answer, Kate stood and briefly put her arms around her. “It’s really nice to meet you,” she said.
“You too. Is it okay if I leave my coat here while I go pick up my coffee?”
“Of course, I’ll protect it from any would-be thieves.”
“Thanks,” Alex said with a laugh. Her drink was already waiting for her when she arrived at the counter, so in no time at all she was sat down opposite Kate. “Hi again, and thanks for coming. Hell, thanks for messaging me; I was just about ready to give up on Adapt when we matched.”
“Not having much luck?” Kate asked.
“Less that, more… not sure how ready I am, and that was making me super picky.”
“I get it. I’m really not sure about any of this, but my two best friends insisted, and I have no defense against the thought of disappointing them.” She gave Alex a small smile. “You’re the first person I matched with.”
“Listen, if they pressured you into something you’re not ready for then we can just make this a friends thing, no hard feelings.”
Kate shook her head. “It’s not that. I’m lonely in a way that the best friends in the world can’t quite fill, and I do want to find a… person who can fill that void. I’m just not sure what that looks like, especially when I come with a load of emotional baggage.”
“Don’t we all, these days?”
“I suppose we do, yes. Do you, um, mind if we talk about that? Just the headlines, get our plague trauma out in the open rather than having it haunt the conversation?”
“Sure,” said Alex. “Doesn’t sound like a bad plan at all.”
“Okay.” Kate took a deep breath, steeling herself. “I lost my husband and our six-year-old son.”
Alex instinctively reached out her hand, and Kate took it. “I am so sorry. I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose a child.”
“Thank you. It was very early on, which I think made it harder at the time, but perhaps easier later. I spent so much time comforting other moms I knew who were going through the same thing I had, and discovered that was helping me as well. But the women whose sons lived just long enough to have hope that they would be one of the lucky ones… I think it hit them the hardest.”
“What’s the saying?” Alex mused. “‘One death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic.’ I don’t think this is what that was about, but when almost everyone around you has had their own personal tragedy as well, it becomes this big communal thing that maybe eases the grief for everyone. Plus, we’re all so busy keeping the world going.”
Kate gave her a small smile. “I volunteered for garbage duty. I figured no one much else would want to do it, and I’d built up my muscles carting a toddler around. Jamie always loved to be picked up for cuddles, no matter how big he got; he did a good job of keeping me in shape.”
Alex took a look at Kate’s arms, noticing now that they were indeed nicely toned. “So I see,” she said, unable to keep the admiration from her voice. Kate’s expression was first surprised, then thoughtful.
“I lost one of my partners to the plague, and the other left thanks to my own stupidity.” Seeing Kate’s confusion, she continued, “I was in a polyamorous vee with Ryan and Steph; I was dating both of them, and they were best mates. After Ryan died and Steph lost someone else who was important to her, I… I did something. It was out of love, and a desire to help her, but there was a reason I never asked if she wanted me to do it, and it backfired spectacularly. She left town, and I haven’t heard from her since, other than a brief message to say that she never wanted to see me again. Can’t say that I blame her.” Alex added, and Kate could hear shades of self-loathing in her voice.
“I’m sorry,” she said, without any hint of judgment. “It’s always hard when you end up hurting someone you love, let alone that badly.”
“Yeah, well, ‘road to hell’ and all that.”
“It’s only the first step on that road. Learn from your mistakes, make sure you don’t repeat them, and you’ll go no further down it. I know that won’t fix anything, but…”
“I get it,” Alex said. “Thanks. I’m glad you’re not one of those judgy Christians.”
“Oh, you’d want my mother for that. I had to go no contact with her years ago because I don’t need her hate and toxic beliefs in my life.”
“Good for you, Kate.”
“Thanks. Some… really bad things happened to me in my senior year of high school. My mother didn’t want to hear my side of the story; she just jumped right to victim blaming. Alyssa and Max are the two people who helped me through the trauma, and with putting myself back together afterwards. But because she’s gay, and he transitioned a few months later, I’m supposed to believe they’re the ones who are going to hell. For the crime of being their best, truest selves? No. So I cut her out of my life, along with anyone else who shared those beliefs.”
“I’m proud of you,” Alex said, “for sticking up for your friends – and yourself.” Then, her eyes widened. “That’s where I recognize you from. You were Max’s best woman at his and Chloe’s wedding, weren’t you?”
Kate blinked. “Yes, how did you know?”
“I won the foosball game against Ryan to be Steph’s plus one; she and Chloe were old friends. I don’t think we actually met, but I remember that I really enjoyed you roasting Max in your speech.”
Kate laughed. “Alyssa actually had to drag Chloe in to convince me to do that, but then she ended up giving me so many good anecdotes…” She smiled in reminiscence. “That was a good day.”
“It was; they both looked so incredibly happy. I really enjoyed getting to know them better the couple of times Steph managed to get them to visit Haven Springs. Max is one of the loveliest guys I’ve ever met, and Chloe… Steph used to say she was ‘chaotic good’, and that turned out to be on the nose; she was a lot of fun.”
“Yes, that describes them pretty well,” Kate said with a smile, before continuing with a lilt in her voice, “I guess it’s a small world after all.”
Alex shuddered. “Please don’t sing that.”
“Okay…” Kate said slowly, “I’m sorry.”
“The three of us went to Disney, about a year before the plague, and that ride broke down while we were on it.” Alex explained. “After a while, the incessant upbeat singing, and those relentlessly happy figures… it started to feel like something out of a horror movie.” She shuddered. “Never again.”
“I’ll be sure to remember that.”
After that, the conversation continued to flow smoothly, with the two women sharing stories and laughter. Kate had moved on to drinking tea by the time they were interrupted by an alarm from her phone.
“I’m sorry, but I’m going to need to head off soon; I have a shift at the recycling center.”
“Okay. Maybe we could do this again sometime?” Alex asked hopefully.
“Definitely. If you give me your number, I can call you in a couple of days to set something up.”
“Smooth, Kate, very smooth,” Alex said, while Kate tapped away on her phone before handing it over. “I’ll look forward to hearing from you,” she added as she passed it back.
Kate got up to put on her coat, and Alex stood too to give her a quick hug. “It was really nice to meet you.”
“You too. I hope to see you again soon.”