Chapter 1: Prolog
Chapter Text
A last gasp escaped his lips before his eyes rolled back, the white of it covered by red dots due to the bursting of blood vessels. The struggle became less, only a few spasms of the body. That’s when the predator knew the fighting would end soon and just like that, the body in front of him became slack and unconscious.
But he knew he had to be precise and continue the pressure against the already abused neck, just a little longer, to make sure there was no awakening. Violently he tightened the leather strap around the other man’s neck, putting all his energy into it. From behind the victim never had no chance, not even had a second to realize what was happening. The attacker had taken advantage of him as he was about to take a piss, feeling safe and sound, not even suspecting anything was off.
Once he let go, he noticed the pain in his own arms and how much strength it had taken to strangle the person. It wasn’t the first time he had taken someone's life, but never had he strangled a person before. But there wasn’t much time to be whiny about it. The murderer had to get away with his crime quickly. He looked around. Still no one was around in the dark alley, he was sure his act had been unnoticed under cover of darkness and there was no possibility for linking the crime towards him.
There was no need to hide the corpse. A gay man killed in a dark alley was for sure nothing unusual in the streets of Milwaukee. Not around this area. Drugs, violence and murder was daily business.
Evan Peters' tiny act of murder wouldn’t make a difference. And after all, it was all for him:
Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer.
Chapter 2: This Boy Is Mine
Summary:
"And I know it's simply meant to be
And I, I take full accountability for all these years
Promise you I'm not usually
Like this, shit, it's like news to me, to me
But I can't ignore my heart, boy"
Chapter Text
The eerie sound of cutting the bone wasn’t a big deal anymore for Jeff - actually it never has been.
Most people would probably turn their heads and throw up just from the thought of what was happening in Jeffrey Dahmer's tiny apartment. What felt unnatural to most people was easy to do for him. Almost automatic he cut through the flesh, along the bones and separate joints with such a routine.
From a young age he started to cut open dead animals, curious eyes observing the insides. It wasn’t like he wanted to do that, it was more like an urge and a compulsion written in his DNA. He simply could just not stop, even though he knew that it was wrong what he was doing now. Jeff often wondered if he was a psychopath or so, but from what little he knew about psychology, he didn’t fit the common standards for that diagnosis. Actually he didn’t seem to fit into most profiles, which made him feel weirdly special but also even more lonely than he already has been.
Jeff had no friends. He had his family, which he hadn't seen for a while and he didn’t feel like they cared about him. Why should they? He was a failure, dropped out of college, got dispendent from the army and never learned or did something meaningful in his entire life of 30 years. There was nothing he or his parents could be proud of. He lived in a shitty area, worked 12 hours a day at a shitty chocolate fabric and on top of that was a gay man.
And even though it has never been spoken about it and no matter how hard his Dad Lionel tried to blind an eye on it, everyone knew. Jeff was so sure of it and it made him deeply ashamed. So it was for the better if they only saw them on occasions like Thanksgiving or Christmas.
But what they didn’t know for sure was that he had killed 6 men by now in the span of 12 years. That he has been living a second life for over a decade now, hunting young men, assaulting them and getting rid of them by strangling the life out of them. That’s when the main work started. Cut off the limbs and separate the flesh from the bones in several different ways. A hard job that took a lot of time and strength and Jeffrey Dahmer already had so little time which made it even more difficult. It was now May, actually one day before his birthday, and soon the temperatures would be rising again, causing a smell that would be unpleasant to most people.
Jeff sighed and whipped away the sweat on his forehead, accidentally smearing blood all over his face. “Shit.” He noticed but it was useless. His whole body was already covered in blood. Quickly he learned it was the best to do this job naked. Not only was it easier to clean, it was also easier to jerk off every time he would get aroused while doing this. Which happened way too often. Now and then during the disjointing, he would get an erection, feeling the urge to rub himself against the lifeless body and feel the intestines around his aching manhood. It actually happened so often that the whole job took longer than needed. Jeff felt so perverted and evil but he also accepted that there was no cure for him.
As he was once again finishing himself in the pile of flesh, he suddenly heard something on his front door. Like a startled deer he looked up, not able to move an inch. When he gained back control of his movements he quietly approached his front door and to his horror there was a shadow at the bottom of the door gap, swinging from left to right.
Someone was standing right in front of his door. The police? Jeff felt his throat tightening. Planning on looking through the door viewer, he walked forward with his heart beating heavy in his chest.
He came closer, inch by inch and even though he tried so hard to be quiet, he bumped into the coffee table, causing him to curse out loud. In pain he held his leg, watching the shadow disappear followed by the sound of running footsteps down the hall. Flabbergasted by that, Jeff runned towards the door, even though he was naked and covered in blood, and threw open the door, dared to look outside just to see a figure leaving through the emergency exit.
He couldn't see anything except for a leg disappearing behind the door. Dahmer froze, overwhelmed by that random encounter - if you could call it like that - when he realized that he was exposing himself with evidence all over him. Quickly he stepped back and closed the door in hope that his neighbors from apartment 214 didn't spy on him. Usually they were high as fuck anyways but still it got Jeff paranoid enough to start panicking.
With shaking hands he opened the fridge, grabbing a Budweiser and gulped it down in one go. He burped and wiped his mouth clean, feeling immediate relief for his nervous system. He was still wondering who was standing in front of his apartment, eavesdropping or something. No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn't wrap his head around it or come up with any explanation.
But for sure he wouldn't risk anything, so determined to get the work done, he adjusted his glasses and walked back into the bathroom.
He had to get rid of all of it tonight.
.
.
.
Evan Peters had to learn early how to cope with his lack of emotions. For him it wasn't easy to feel things that others did, especially empathy was something he never really understood. So he always had been watching others, impersonating their reactions to blend in and show proper emotions.
And that was exactly what he was doing now, laughing together with costumer's over a stupid joke he didn't find amusing at all but he knew that would higher his chance in getting a good amount of tips today.
Certainly Evan was smart enough for something more challenging in life, but after he had done office jobs over office jobs, he decided to quit one day and do something different. So far he liked the job, it kept him active and he could meet different people everyday to learn a little more about human emotions. And apparently his skills were good enough to be seen as charming and empathetic. Just like the customers did right now and just like he expected they left him a huge tip when they paid for their meal.
But what he showed to the world was far from the truth. He never cared about others, never felt remorse or sympathy. Actually he didn't really like other humans at all. He simply just knew which words or emotions were expected. But it wasn't like he cared or wished to be different. If he was honest, he was glad that he wasn't trapped by emotions and unnecessary relationships. It was easier to just care about himself and not be driven by feelings.
But a few months ago his worldview was shattered into a million pieces. Since then he has been plagued by a feeling he had never experienced before. A feeling so strong that it threatened to eat him up whole. A burning desire he only had read about. It was unendurable, giving him heartaches and sleepless nights.
Evan Peters had fallen in love.
With him.
Jeffrey Dahmer.
Evan sighed as he thought about the blonde, tall man. He knew from a very young age that, even though he had no desire for love, that he was interested in man sexually. Sex was the only thing that gave him some sort of pleasure. But now it was not only sex he craved - no - he craved for the love of this strange man.
The moment he saw him at the bar, he immediately fell in love. It caught him completely off guard and at first he had no idea what was happening to him. A sudden warmth overcame him, he froze and his heart began to race like crazy. He remembered how his body began to shake and how he felt the urge to approach him and tell him that they meant to be together forever. Which sounded insane, even for him, since he didn't know anything about that man at this point. But he knew that he was his soulmate and that he must have been the chosen one. No doubts.
But instead of approaching him and trying to get to know the stranger, Evan chose the only logical reaction and left the bar in panic.
For days he tried to push it aside and forget the beautiful man with his stupid ass glasses. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about him, couldn't forget his ocean blue eyes. Even though he has seen him from afar, he could tell his eyes were blue. For sure he wished that it would just go away and that he would start to feel nothing again but that never happened.
Certainly he became obsessed with the thought of seeing him again. And it didn't take long. Just after a few days - he waited for him every night at that bar - he saw him again and quickly he figured out that Jeff was at that particular bar every Saturday at around 11 pm.
He always chose a starter, followed by two beers, then he switched to rum coke. That man could take a lot of alcohol, he was no light weight when it came to that. However it was always the same pattern. And he would always choose the same seat. Strange for sure.
So every Saturday, Evan would meet him here - well…he would sit down in the corner, hidden in the dark and observe him. A dark hoodie and jeans would make him almost disappear in the crowd of colorful men which were for the better. He didn't want to be noticed, especially not by Jeff. Evan was good at faking emotions and conversations, but with Jeff he felt like he couldn't do that. He couldn't risk approaching him and failing. So he had to get to know him and study him so he wouldn't make a mistake. Not a single one.
And the longer he avoided that very moment of approaching him, the more he became insecure about doing it at all. Because he noticed that Jeff almost took home a man every damn time. And everytime it has been a different guy. So he was either not interested in something serious or the right guy, which was obviously Evan himself, hadn't won his heart yet. His other worry was that this guy was just a total slut, just interested in quick meaningless sexual encounters like many of the gay men here. And Evan didn't want to become just one of them. He planned to become more important than just a one-nightstand.
The more he got to know about the guy, the more information he seeked, the more his desires for him became worse. He would observe how he moved, talked and how he reacted to different music. He quickly figured out that he must have liked snuggle rock, because when bands like Mörtel Crüe or Def Leppard would play on occasion, he would whip his feet and sing along. He also noticed that he would always approach men with a lean build, which made Evan go hit the gym more regularly than before. He wanted to make sure to be his type once he took the heart to talk to him.
But not yet.
One evening he dared to sit a little closer to hear him talk, noticing his soothing voice that sent shivers down his spine. Evan wanted to hear that voice all day long and fall asleep to it. He never heard anything more beautiful in his entire life. On that same evening he even got to know his name as he introduced himself to a stranger.
Jeff.
What a wonderful name, Evan thought to himself when he heard it for the first time..
And that was his ticket to get to know more about him. Evan was very determined and smart, he could easily find out anything about anyone if he really wanted to. A special skill you could say. And by now he knew his address as he always followed him home, making sure he would arrive safely. But it also had a bitter taste to it as he had to watch him disappear with other guys that weren't even worthy to be near his presence.
It turned Evan so incredibly jealous and angry. It should be him by his side, laughing, talking and making love to him. He was his soulmate and his destiny. They were meant to be like Romeo and Juliet or mac and cheese. And nothing shall tear them apart.
However once he knew his name, he took his research to a new level. One day he finally had the chance to enter the building and asked a neighbor about Jeff, pretending to be a delivery guy. Of course he had this planned out for a while. Simply, he just waited for someone to step into the building and quickly followed, with a fake package underneath his arm. Easier than he would have thought. He had approach the guy that went into the building asking about Jeff and that the name on the package wasn't readable and if he knew about him. To Evan's surprise the guy knew exactly who it was, telling him the ‘weird creep’ lived on the second floor and that his last name was ‘Dahmer’.
Apartment 213.
Bingo! Evan finally had gained important information he could work with and when he stood in front of Jeffrey Apartment, he could tell that no one was home. For what felt like an hour, he had been listening carefully and just standing there, pressing his face against the wooden door, tracing along the metallic number on the front door over and over again. 2…1…3….
In a loving manner he had touched the door knob, almost caressing it, imagining that Jeff touched it daily with his beautiful hands. That alone had made him so hard that he had to touch himself, pushing his hand inside his jeans while his face still pressed against the door. He had grabbed his cock, his hand still cold from the door knob, imagining that Jeff's DNA was now emerging with his own. It didn't take long and quickly he had released himself inside his pants, leaving a wet spot. Evan hoped that no one had seen him from Apartment 214. But they didn't seem to be at home as well - lucky him - he could not risk being caught.
Evan sighed as he remembered those events and dressed up in his street clothes as he was ready to leave work. It was already very late and he knew that it was now Jeff’s turn to leave for work. That poor soul was working night shifts at the Ambrosia Chocolate Factory. Twelve hours a day. Evan couldn't imagine how exhausting that must have been. If he wanted to get a full 8 hours of sleep, he had only 4 hours a day for himself, minus the way to work and back. That seemed so depressing to Evan, who had figured it out by observing Jeff's life for the past month.
By now it was like he knew him personally, knew his likes and dislikes, his personality and all. But Jeff had no clue about him. He never noticed him, never saw him lurking in the shadows. Which was for the best but also left a sting in Evan's tortured heart. He really wanted to change that soon but it gave him the greatest anxiety just to think about approaching him. It wasn't time yet.
Evan grabbed his bag and made his way through the busy streets of Milwaukee, taking in the cold air and the distant sound of the police sirens. Thoughtful he walked and walked, his feet taking him to the Oxford Apartments all by himself. As he was just around the corner, a man bumped into him, pulling Evan out of his thoughts. Confused Evan looked into the strangers face, realizing he just bumped into none other than Jeffrey Dahmer, who didn't even bail an eye on him in such a rush. He just mumbled an almost inaudible ‘sorry’ and quickly walked away. Evan couldn't even react or do anything, he was just in complete shock and frozen, not believing what just happened. Obviously, Jeff was late for work which caused him to be in such a hurry.
With his mind completely dizzy he grabbed his shoulder that was pounding like crazy as if he still could feel Jeff's warm shoulder on his. His face flushed and his body softened as he watched the figure of Jeff disappearing in the distance. “Oh my…” He whispered and leaned against the wall. This was like a dream come true.
Jeff and him touched. Did he felt that too?
The connection? The tension?
Evans' heart was singing love songs, his knees shaking and his cheeks burning brightly. Exhausted from the overwhelming feeling he grabbed his chest, trying to calm his breath, but it was no use, his whole body was freaking out about the small encounter they just shared. It took him a while before he could finally focus again. But his mind was still poisoned by Jeff, telling him that he needed more. NOW.
Determined he walked towards the building where he ringed at various name tags to get access inside. Like he did before a few times, he went up the stairs to floor two, straight towards Dahmer’s Apartment, his eyes fixated on the number 213. With shaking hands he grabbed the door knob and let his forehead sink to the wooden door. This was not planned. This was impulsive but luckily Evan was always prepared and this has been overdue anyways. He had observed and researched, had seen the package of Jeff’s fake security system, had heard how the alarm goes off when you enter and how he had to type in a code with 4 numbers.
Beep beep beep beep.
He could hear the phantom sound ringing in his ears. How many times has he lurked behind the exit door, listening, watching and waiting. He hasn’t figured it out yet, he had only a few guesses. But the way he judged him, he was the type of person who would use the same code everywhere. And Evan had watched how he would withdraw money from the bank, using his birthdate.
0521.
“Oh Jeff…” Evan whispered to himself and grinned. “You're so easy to read.” Since he was no beginner, he always had a tool pick lock on his keychain, waiting exactly for this very moment. Skillfully he inserted the tool, starting to twist it and in no time he heard the satisfying ‘click’ that told him he made it. And as soon as he shoved the door open, the familiar alert sound echoed through the hallway so he quickly got inside and closed the door.
Beep beep beep beep.
In the darkness he let his hand run over the walls, searching for the light switch to turn on the lights. After just a short while he found it and turned it on, now searching for the keyboard for the security system. Right next to the door there it was, the numbers 1, 2, 5 and 0 more faded than the others, so Evan was sure he hit the jackpot.
Beep beep beep beep.
0-5-2-1. He typed in and the loud sound disappeared to his relief. Finally he could breathe again and relax - well, not really since he now got a glimpse of the man he worshiped so much. Slowly he looked around, taking in the view and smell. The apartment was tidy, except for a few beer cans on the table. It was not what he had expected, though he hadn’t really imagined how it would look like at all.
Though it seemed tidy, the overall furnishings seemed rather random and basic. Except for a few random decor there was no style whatsoever. But he noticed the thriving plants and the clean aquarium on a black table that had been illuminating the apartment just so slightly when he stepped into it. But what caught Evan completely off guard was the smell.
It was only so slightly, but there was a stench hanging in the walls, a smell he couldn't really pinpoint. A foul smell mixed with chemicals. Maybe a broken sewer and Jeff had tried to cover the smell up? However the apartment didn't look like it would smell, so Evan couldn't tell what it was.
He stepped in further, observing the little details. A huge colorful picture caught his attention just as the lava lamp right underneath it. Curious as he was he turned it on, watching how the red slime began to move hypnotically. As a kid he had one himself, Evan remembered. Since there was no time to lose, he walked further - towards the aquarium, tapping the glass and talking to the fishes like they were old friends.
The pictures on the walls were artistic but also erotic - making Evan quite uncomfortable. Those body images were far from realistic. Men with muscles bigger than their head and six packs so visible and intimidating, that Evan automatically pinched the little roll on his stomach in disgust.
Was that what Jeffrey Dahmer was looking for?
Evan did his best to become his leanest self, but he was far away from those muscular fitness bodies he was having on his walls. Insecurity creeped up on him, tightening up his throat. He gulped and shook it off. There was no time for that right now. He needed to enjoy and take in everything he could - he could feel pity for himself later. Sunken in thoughts he walked towards the couch, brushing the fabric of the old sofa as he passed it. Then he stopped at the kitchen's sink, which was basically in the same room.
It was clean, but not squeaky clean. Some dirty stains here and there and a few used bowls and cutlery were in the sink. Evan moved his head in a rolling motion as if his neck became stiff all of the sudden but it was a way to try to control his urges. Without much success. He could not resist. As if he was about to pick up a holy item, he carefully chose the fork, holding it up to the light, twirling it interested in his hand.
With a grin on his lips he guided it towards them, pressing the cold silver against his hot mouth. Evan closed his eyes and let his tongue tenderly swirl over the fork. This has been in his mouth. Evan felt closer to Jeff than ever before. His heart was pounding fast and his dick was already half hard just from that.
He stopped himself in his action, there was so much more to explore. He grabbed a nearby plastic bag and put the fork in there. Jeff wouldn't notice if it was gone.
His feet dragged him further and just like that he ended up in Jeffrey's bedroom. He took a look around. This place was a mess. Not like the tidy living room, everything was really messy. The bed was unmade, gayporn magazines laid all over the floor, next to it there were tissues and condoms, the ashtray on his nightstand was overloaded with cigarette buds. Evan only could imagine how Jeff had masturbated to the pornographic material. He wished he could have seen it with his own eyes - smell it. His mouth began to water just at the imagination.
Eagerly to find more ‘treasures’ he stepped into the room, completely overstimulated by all the new impressions. Literally his body was shaking in excitement and he couldn't decide what he wanted to explore next. Evan choose to approach the bed first and crawl into it. When he was about to do that, a thought crossed his mind. Should he…?
Yes. He had all the time in the world.
Slowly he began to undress himself down to his socks, before he laid down face forward. Immediately he took in the scent, smelling Jeffrey Dahmer up close the first time. It was a masculine scent, the laundry probably overdue to be changed but that's what he liked. The real and raw scent of Dahmer. This was what he craved for.
The satin sheets felt cold to his hot naked skin in a good way. Evan's cock was now fully hard, pressed between the mattress and his belly. With his nose buried deep in Jeff's pillow, Evan began to move his hip rhythmically, grinding himself against Dahmer's bed like he had done as a teenager. The pillow swallowed his little whimpers and moans as he kept humping, until he finally lifted his head and breathed desperately for air. His face was red, his eyes glassy. Already so close to his climax, he decided to edge himself more and keep investigating before he would allow himself to come. He wanted this orgasm to be insanely good and intense and there was so much more he wanted to try.
Even though it took all his strength to get out of Jeff's bed, he got up before he ended up on all fours again but on the floor, next to the mess Jeff had made. Evan grinned as he saw the soft porn content. He would have guessed that Jeff was more into hard sex but so far he seemed to be all vanilla. Actually Evan was more into rougher sex but for Jeff he would do everything and anything. For Jeff he would change his sexual preferences, his interests and even his entire personality. If he had to, he would do so much more and so much worse for him. At this point, nothing besides Jeff had meaning in his life and nothing else gave him any sort of happiness or pleasure.
His body was starting to tremble even more as he kneeled down to the beige carpet. With both hands he lifted himself over the floor, facing the object of his desire. Carefully he came closer, closed his eyes before he took a deep breath. A keen sound left his lips as he inhaled the chlorine smell that was emerging from the latex in front of him. His still hard cock twitched, touching the soft floor with its wet tip.
Evan opened his eyes and looked at the cum-filled condoms on the ground, laying there nastily between beer cans and old socks. His heart was racing as he imagined how Jeff used them for masturbation or whatever he was up to. It drove him insane. He wanted this man so badly. He wanted him whole and everything of him. Certainly he did not care how disgusting or naughty it might be, but to him it was too inviting not to do.
Curiously he lifted one condom and observed the white liquid inside. Then he opened his mouth and put the opening to his lips. As the thick liquid met his lips Evan moaned. Hungrily he sucked the cum out of the little pink piece of latex till nothing was inside anymore. Once he finished he coughed and even felt a little icky afterwards, but the compulsion to do it was stronger. Hopefully the sperm wasn't that old, at least it didn't taste weird. Just like plain cum, a little sticky to the teeth. For sure not cum of someone with a healthy lifestyle. He took another one and poured the content over his length, feeling the cold slime run across it. In lust he threw his head back, pushing his hip up in a thrusting motion.
“Oh Fuck me…oh Fuck Jeff….” He gasped and felt himself getting lost in the pleasure. In a heat he grabbed his sticky shaft and gave himself a few good strokes, edging himself to the point where he could almost not hold it back anymore - but he managed to keep himself from coming all over the place.
Another condom with a good amount of cum landed in the same bag as the fork, it would be helpful for later use. Next stop was his drawer right next to the door. Curious he let his fingers run over the dusty TV, his eyes stopping at the tapes.
“Star Wars…” Evan mumbled to himself. “The Exorcist 3.” Then he let out a laugh and read: “Cocktales.”
Still amused by it, he opened the drawer and gasped in amazement. It was filled with underwear and socks, most of them were black. Eagerly he dug through the already messy pile of underwear, making sure he wasn't missing a thing. Suddenly there was something solid and white peaking out. Curious Evan shoved the clothes aside to reveal a Marmor-like painted skull.
Odd.
Evan thought to himself as he observed the morbid decoration. Why would he put it here? Not thinking too much of it, he shrugged and put it back and thought to himself if there shouldn't be dirty laundry somewhere. He needed his knickers scented, he needed Jeff real and close. Evan was on cloud nine as he opened the closet, completely ignoring the chemicals laying around and going straight for the laundry basket he was looking for. A blue Adidas shirt was on top so Evan grabbed it and pressed it to his face closely, feeling the soft fabric against his clam skin. He shivered, gasped and opened his mouth slightly, inhaling the scent deeply as if he wanted it to melt within his DNA. Evan moaned as the sweaty smell hit his nostrils. “Fuck…” He took another deep breath before he continued to dig through the pile and quickly he found what he was looking for.
Underwear.
Like a complete maniac he sniffed his knickers and socks, smelling the dirty scent that would make anyone else gag but Evan was not like anyone else. He was wired differently and he was so sickly obsessed with Jeffrey Dahmer that he could not think normally anymore. Evan knew that his behavior was deviant, but he simply could not stop. The compulsion was stronger than anything else and he enjoyed every damn second of his little adventure right now.
Of course a pair of socks and some panties landed in the back. Still naked, Evan looked around, trying to decide where or with what he wanted to finish off. He was still rock hard and ready to have the most intense orgasm in his whole life. Like an animal he just wanted to hump something. Something that made him feel close to Jeff.
The man walked back to the bed, wallowing himself again in the dirty sheets before he laid down to the side, his head supported by his hand. Curiously he opened the drawer next to the bed and bingo.
Pictures.
Polaroids to be specific. Evan almost choked on his spit as he saw a picture of Jeff himself. The quality was not that good, only half of his face in the picture, but Evan could tell by the prominent lips and chin, and the rest of his body was very much undressed. Evan became hot, his head so dizzy.
Jeffrey Dahmer was generously built!
Evans' mouth began to water as he looked at the huge, hard cock of Jeff. That was insane!
“Oh god…Jeff…why are you so perfect?” Evan almost whined and began to jerk himself off, hypnotized by the view. He already felt pity for himself, knowing he couldn't take the picture with him, he was sure that wouldn't go unnoticed. Like spell-bounded he stroked himself, his other hand slowly making its way between his ass cheeks, gently rubbing his anus, imagining it would be Jeff's tongue asking for invitation. He threw his head back, moaning his love interest's name passionately. “Jeff!” Trembling like crazy, he flipped through the pictures, more Jeff, more fapping material until the pictures suddenly changed.
Immediately the mood in Evan changed. Boiling hot rage formed inside of him as his eyes landed on a well built man, posing seductively for the camera. Evan grinded his teeth as he flipped further, seeing different men, all of them much leaner and better than Evan. Jealousy began to eat him from the inside even though he knew before about Jeff's many sex adventures. For the moment he couldn't have him for himself, he could push it aside usually but now it was basically shoved into his face. He needed to save Jeff from the man that didn't deserve his love, that didn't deserve any second with his precious existence.
It was Evan who should be posing for his pictures. It should be him who drives Jeff wild. As he searched through the pictures his heart became heavy until it finally sank, but no because of jealousy. But because he found something so gruesome and absurd that he thought of it as some acted pictures at first.
Evan couldn't believe what he was looking at. A man lying on the edge of the bath tube, his torso cut open, organs hanging out of it and the rib cage exposed. It took Evan a good amount of time until he recognised the man as one in the pictures before. Curious and shocked Evan searched for more pictures in the drawer. More and more gory Polaroids came to light, showing the process of a body being cut into pieces.
He recognised the different men and the apartment. This has happened here. Right on the bed he was making himself so comfortable. A body twisted like he was doing a bridge but without a head, leaving a bloody spot on the mattress. Of course Evan immediately jumped up and pulled the sheets away. Indeed there was a dark brownish spot there, telling its own gruesome story. Evan felt disgust at first, feeling used and lied to. He had felt so safe in his bed and trusted him with all his heart. And Jeff….
He sighed…
Jeff had betrayed him. Keeping secrets from him and fooled him into thinking he was a good man.
An innocent man.
Evan was about to burst into tears as he unfolded the truth about the man he adored so much. “Jeff…” He whispered helplessly and sank down to his knees. Then he remembered the skulls in the drawer. His head turned towards it and he realised that they weren't some morbid decoration. They had to be real for sure.
Jeffrey Dahmer was a killer. And judged by the amount of skulls and pictures he was a serial killer.
Tears runned down his cheeks, which he didn't realize until he let his fingertips run over his face. In shock he observed his wet fingers. It has been years since the last time he shedded tears. What had Jeff done to him? That was not him! He never cried or felt so many emotions. And he never missed that. Emotions were a sign of weakness and they were just a burden. Angrily he pulled his hair and suppressed a scream. Instead he punched his own head with the palm of his hand several times, cursing and hissing names.
“FUCK! I’M SUCH AN IDIOT!” He pressed through grinding teeth.
Then he stopped and just sat there for a while, crying like he hadn't for what felt like forever. Actually he wasn't sure if he had ever cried so pathetically in his entire life. What a waste of energy he thought to himself. After he gained some self control back he looked through the pictures once again as if he wanted to make sure he wasn’t missing anything. He couldn't help it but felt a sting to his heart every time he saw the man posing for him, knowing that Jeff must have enjoyed their company and wanted to make sure to capture their beauty in a picture.
Suddenly a thought - or maybe more a feeling - crossed him. Feeling so much envy and hate made him actually feel satisfied with the pictures of the tortured bodies. This way they could never ever touch Jeff again.
Maybe it was for the better. Suddenly he began to laugh maniacally.
“Oh Jeffrey…you did it for me, didn't you?”
Obviously that was nonsense and a part of him knew that but he decided to lie to himself and think that this was happening for a reason. And maybe that was his ticket to Jeffrey Dahmer himself. Not only did he know about his darkest secret now, which gave him so much power over Jeff, but also he felt like maybe sometimes murder was justified and that could open so many doors for Evan.
After all, he had failed to save him from other men, so Jeff had to save himself. Jeff never meant to betray him! In his twisted mind, that sounded like an absolutely reasonable thought. There was no doubt to him that Jeff was a good person and that he was doing what was necessary to obey the universe's path that was set for both of them. It was destiny and they would be together. Evan knew it - other realities weren't acceptable.
As if he was called by a higher power, Evan finally knew what to do, but he wasn’t finished here yet. With hurt in his heart he put back the pictures except for that one that showed Jeff undressed. He put it on the bed and grabbed Jeff’s pillow. Underneath the bed linen he dug his finger into the pillow, making a hole into the yellowish fabric, ripping and pulling until it was big enough and the insides visible. In a haze he lowered himself down and pushed his penis right into the hole he just created, his eyes fixated on the picture.
He would leave his mark here for Jeff, making him used to his smell.
Chapter 3: Love Is A Losing Game
Summary:
"For you, I was a flame
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came
Love is a losing game
One I wished I never played
Oh, what a mess we made
And now, the final frame
Love is a losing game"
Chapter Text
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!” Evan mumbled to himself in sheer panic as he watched the puddle of blood spreading out in an alarming tempo.
With shaking hands he put the gun between his belt, hiding it in the back. Even though it was his intention to kill when he bought the deadly weapon, he didn't expect it to be so complicated. Somehow he expected it to be less dramatic but this was more stressing than anything ever. He didn't expect that the first shoot wouldn't be enough to kill the man. He had to pull the trigger twice, since the victim was still gurgling the blood that was stuck in his throat way too loud, gasping helplessly for air, almost ruining Evans plan to keep this as quiet as possible.
If Evan's brain wouldn't be so different, he would probably feel bad for it, especially since it was the first time he had hurt - murder - another human being. But he simply did not feel a thing about it, just felt annoyed and scared to be caught, because that would mean an end to his destiny to become Jeff's partner. And no one should dare to stop him from that. Especially not this guy that had the audacity to fucking kiss his man right in front of him and have oral sex at the clubs bathroom afterwards. Evan had sat in the other stall the whole time, listening to Jeff's moans as he was being sucked off. Full of anger he had jerked himself off to the angelic sounds his love made, imagine it was him making Jeff sing.
It had been torture.
And like it didn't mean anything, the guy just left the club to walk home drunkenly. And that had been his death sentences since Evan had been furious enough to simply follow his impulsive thoughts. To Evan's defence, he called for it!
As the drunken suspect had walked into a dark alley to take a piss, Evan took his chance and bursted a bullet straight to the stranger's head without any hesitation like he had done that a million times before.
Usually Evan wouldn't take the gun with him too often but as the chance had it, this particular night he had it stuck between his belt, hidden in the back underneath his shirt. A happy coincidence. Shockingly enough, the act of murder wasn't as bad as Evan imagined. Even for him that was a new level of his capabilities, but he thought it would have affected him at least a little but it turned out that Evan was a psychopath through and through, coded for exactly this. Certainly this opened new doors to him and on top of that - it made him just like Jeff.
Evan smiled as he thought about how much he became Jeff himself until he realised there was no time to get caught in lovely thoughts, he had to get away from the crime scene before anyone could link him to the murder. To his favor, the gun was something he had purchased on the black market so there was no way the bullet could be linked back to him. Also the cops didn't really care about any crimes that would happen in this area. It was safe to say that Evan would get away with it easily.
Satisfied Evan pulled a half smoked cigarette out of his pocket that he had picked up from Jeff's ashtray and lit it up. A Newsport. He breathed in the sharp smoke that made him cough and walked away without looking back at the poor victim.
…
As the weeks went by, Evan became more and more aware of his skills and his ability to murder without feeling a bit of shame or guilt. What was shocking and traumatic to most people, left him completely cold. Only his love for Jeff made him feel warmth.
The other day he followed a guy that had spent the night with Jeff - apparently only chosen one's fell victim to Jeff's strange collection - his hand already wrapped around his gun as he saw his chance of blasting a bullet straight to his brain as the suspect was on its way home.
The guy seemed drunk, he was walking zig zag lines, almost falling over his own feet now and then. A pattern that Evan often noticed with guys that Jeff let go. Evan had a suspicion as he had found so many empty sleeping pill blisters scattered all around the apartment back then when he visited. It was all adding up and definitely something Evan should be aware of and keep in mind.
But events turned out different when the target walked across a deserted bridge, way too close to the railings, stopping to take in the city's view. Evan stopped as well, watching the man and another idea came to his mind as he heard the sound of the wild river right below. As it was the most natural thing to do, Evan approached him from behind with fast steps and before the guy could even recognise him, Evan crouched down, and grabbed his legs, lifted him up and threw him right over the railing. It all went so fast, that it happened to be in complete silence.
No screams, only the loud sound of the water and the distant sound of a splash as the body hit the water. If the guy tried to reach the surface and gasp for air - it remained a mystery as the running water was too loud to hear anything and the night too dark to see.
Evan was sure that the guy wouldn't survive the wild river and its dangerous stoney ground. The chances that he immediately hit his head on one of the sharp rocks was too high.
Evan leaned against the railing and closed his eyes, breathing in the fresh summer night air. He smiled and felt his heart flutter, knowing he was just getting closer to his love.
“Jeff…” He whispered to himself. “You'll be mine soon!”
…
Like he did a million times before, he walked into the bar at the exact time, to seat at the exact same chair and ordering the exact same drink as always. A starter and a beer. But this time something was different. His seat was already taken. Which was odd, at this time his seat was usually free as most people sat down either to the more open side of the bar or at the group tables all over the club.
A handsome man sat there, with two starters and two beers, not bailing an eye to Jeff who was slowly approaching the bar, not sure where to sit now.
This time Evan had decided he had waited long enough and that it was finally time to take everything a step further. And by now it wasn't much of a choice rather than a necessity. Ultimately he couldn't endure it anymore, he needed to save Jeff and make him his. No longer could he watch how he would disappear over and over again with unworthy guys.
So this evening he wasn't wearing his “observe-outfit” that would make him basically disappear in the mass of half nudes horny guys. Today he was wearing a dark blue shirt buttoned down so his clean shaven and trained chest was peaking out enough to tell that Evan had been working out a lot lately, but not enough to seem too desperate and slutty.
It was neatly tucked in black jeans, combined with some fine leathery shoes that he had polished so much that the disco lights were mirroring on its shiny surface. His brown curls were styled nicely, shining confidently but still seeming soft to the touch. Overall he looked really fine. And his smell was delicious too - an expensive perfume gave him the elegant and clean touch that was slightly radiating from him but it wasn't too penetrating or heavy to be a bother. Evan was on fire and he knew that every damn guy was looking at him tonight, watching and hoping to get a chance with him. But Evan would only hook up with one guy tonight:
Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer.
That was for sure. None of them were interesting to him, not even in the slightest. Confident, Evan smiled, studying the menu in front of him, pretending to not pay attention.
Confused, Jeff sat right next to his usual seat, trying to make himself comfortable but deep down it bothered him. He hated such unnecessary changes, feeling like his usual schedule was being out of order now, making him feel quite unsafe and insecure.
Bothered, he glimpsed over to the handsome young man next to him. Without even hiding it, his blue eyes scanned him from head to toe, obviously curious who the mysterious stranger was and what had made him choose his seat. Jeff lit up a cigarette as his eyes fixated on the man, who turned his head slightly and gave him a short but sassy stare before he drew his attention back to the menu.
“This is usually my seat.” Jeff said after he blew out the menthol smoke and adjusted his heavy glasses.
Nonchalantly Evan laughed, then looked at Dahmer with his dark mysterious eyes. “Is that so?”
“Yes.” Jeff said curtly.
“What's your name?” Evan asked suddenly as if he didn't know every little detail about his life.
“Jeff.” With a short sign to the bartender he tried to order a beer before he turned back to the cheeky guy. Unfortunately the bartender didn't notice so Evan shoved his glass to the blonde with an amused gleam sparkling in his eyes. Perplexed, Jeff looked at the beer then back to the stranger.
“Take it. My friend that was with me had to leave in a hurry before our order came.” Evan lied then watched Jeff taking the beer, raising the glass and nod gratefully before he toasted him. “Cheers.” Their glass clinked and the cold beer runned down their throats, except for the few drops that stuck to their upper lips.
“Well, however…Jeff.” Evan leaned towards the taller man and gave him a telling stare. “I can't recall seeing your name written on it.”
Jeff chuckled and stared into his glass as if he was thinking about a good comeback. “What's your name?” He then asked.
“Evan.” His warm brown eyes met the cold blue ones that watched him so interestedly. There was a glimpse of something inside of them, that Evan could only describe as adventurous. A rogue in the eyes that told him that Jeff was curious about him and maybe felt challenged by him. And that's what Evan was looking for. As much as he wanted to throw himself at Dahmer, he also knew that he had to play hard to get , so Jeff was interested long enough. A balanced act, that needed a sensitivity so he wouldn't overdue it and end up scaring him away with his attitude.
“Can't recall ya name on it either pal.” He declared and grinned triumphantly as he took another drag of his menthol cigarette.
“First come first serve.” Evan said playful and tilted his head. “But if it means so much to you, we can switch seats.” He offered and showed him a perfect white smile which made Jeff grin as well. Evan knew he had already catched him.
“Nah. It's fine. Besides, you can keep it warm for me, I'll probably stay much longer than you.” He said confident. Usually it was him and only a few others that stayed till the end.
“Whatever you say big boy. But I am not planning on leaving anytime soon.” Evan explained and supported his head in his hand as he observed Jeff's perfect face.
“But what about your boyfriend? Don't you wanna follow him?” Dahmer asked.
“I never said that he's my boyfriend.” Evan's gaze became intense and his smile disappeared.
“So you're single.” He concluded and could barely hide the excitement that was rising in his chest.
“I didn't say that either.” Now Evan grinned again, biting his lip as he watched Jeff struggle with his patience. “But yes. I am single.”
Nervously Jeff straightened his body and shifted in his seat. Now he really had his attention.
“So Evan…if you don't mind me asking…what are your expectations for tonight? Are you searching for anything specific? A good chat, some dancing or…” Jeff gulped and slightly blushed. “...or more?”
The younger one couldn't help it but chuckled at Dahmer who was so easy to read right now. Obviously Evan had watched Jeff for months and he has always been aloof and very monotone, not showing any real emotions. But apparently Jeff was not so cool anymore when it came to Evan. Which was no surprise since he knew that they were soulmates so obviously Jeff had to feel it too. Their bond was about to become special and it amused Evan that Jeff had no idea yet.
“What’s your definition of more?” For a moment Jeff was silent, carefully choosing his next words. Both men felt that tingling tension that was hanging thick in the air. Jeff came closer with his stool, his elbow now touching Evan's as he leaned in. It was burning hot, making Evan melt right there on the chair. For a moment his masquerade fell, as he smelled the nicotine breath hitting his face mixed with the cheap scent of English leather. Evan swallowed hard, feeling his heart beating fast in his chest about to free itself from it's boney cage.
“Come home with me and I'll show you.” Jeff spoke seductively into the other's ear, breathing hot against the already burning red earlobe. Within seconds Evan had goosebumps all over his skin, his dick starting to grow in his tight dark jeans. Never had he seen a more sexy face in his entire life. This night he would make love to Jeff, he knew it and he couldn't wait for it…actually why wait if they could do it right here and right now.
A rather naughty thought crossed his mind and he had no impulse control to stop himself. He breathed in sharp and began to unbutton more of his shirt, revealing more of the sooth skin. With a watery mouth Jeff watched how Evans masculine and strong hands began to open it more and more until his pink hard nipples were exposed. Jeff's heart stopped there for a second.
“Why don't you show me right here right now?” Evan gasped and took off the shirt. In a haze Jeff traced along his collarbone, playfully twisting the golden necklace between his fingers. It was a cross.
“Evan…” Jeff's eyes fluttered and his face flushed. “We're in public…”
Evan grinned. “I know.” Then he proceeded to open his belt and pants, letting it sink to his ankles. Now people began to stare, looking confused but then interested. Insecure Jeff looked around. That was not happening!
But before Jeff could even protest, Evan pulled out his perfectly shaped and huge cock, leaving everyone in gasp.
“Fuck…. you're so perfect Evan!” Jeff bit his lip and came closer to let his hands run up and down his sides, almost forgetting about the public aspect of it. “You're the hottest guy I have ever seen.”
Evan looked between Jeff's legs, seeing a telling bulge in his jeans.
“I can tell.” He said and positioned himself back on the stool that Jeff claimed as property. “Now…” He spread his legs and tilted his hip to show him his wet asshole. “...fuck me already Jeff! I can't wait any longer.”
All the people started to look at Evan in shock but they also seemed to be interested, even encouraging Jeff to get him. With shaking hands Jeff began to undress himself till he was fully naked, his big cock twitching in lust. The most perfect sight Evan had ever encountered. What a man! Then he stepped closer, pushing his lips hungrily onto Evan's and an explosion of emotions rushed through his body and mind.
“Oh Evan, I love you!” The blonde said between their kisses and guided his dick towards the pink aching hole.
Love?
Evan couldn't believe his luck, he felt himself floating, feeling so carelessly and free, feeling how their bodies started to intermingle and become one. And before Dahmer's tip even touched Evan's tight rim, Evan came all over himself.
“FUCK!”
He screamed and grabbed the bedsheets underneath him as he was overwhelmed by his intense orgasm. The thick white cum covered all of his exposed torso as it had been a massive load.
Then he just collapsed, breathing like he had just run a marathon. His body was shaken and his mind became blank, letting go of that fantasy he just imagined himself in. It had been all just a wet daydream. Frustrated, he sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing them exhausted. If it would just be that easy…but it was far from that.
Evan had still not found the courage to approach Jeff, only imagining the situation over and over again how they would finally meet, trying out to imagine every scenario possible to prepare. But mostly he ended up getting so horny over the whole imagination, that his daydreams became rather unrealistically and absurd as he started to jerk himself off. So this time it was being fucked in the club, the last time he ended married with Jeff only a few hours after they first met and once they even end up in a whole new setting where Evan was suddenly a bartender with a uncommonly good singing voice and Jeff was a talent scout, completely amazed by him!
Evan shook his head, knowing that those daydreams weren't helping at all. How was he supposed to approach Jeff when he had only one chance? If he fucked it up it was over for him! It had to be perfect! He had to convince him, make him fall in love with him.
Evan knew he couldn't hide any longer and maybe there was no right time at all, so he rolled over, grabbed an old shirt to clean himself up and decided he had replayed every possible scenario now so often.
It was time.
.
.
.
Evan waited and waited. And he waited. And he waited more. Usually Jeff would be on time and arrive at around 11 pm but now it was almost 12 pm and Evan started to get worried. His dark blue shirt was drenched in sweat and the second beer, he had bought as a disguise to offer it to Jeff later, had already lost all its foam on top. Nervously Evan looked at his watch, rubbing the clam palm against his dark jeans.
“Where the hell are you?” He mumbled to himself and looked over to the front door.
Every damn second felt like an eternity and his bladder started to feel uncomfortably full but he couldn't leave his spot now. Couldn't leave Jeff's seat or he risked missing out on him.
As the time was slowly passing it became unendurable to take it in any longer so he jumped off the chair and quickly got to the bathroom where he almost ran to the pissuar to empty his bladder and take the longest piss in human history. He threw his head back, feeling such a relief. That had been necessary.
After he quickly scrubbed his hands clean, he made his way back to the bar. Still in thoughts he went through his daydreams, trying to choose the best version until he froze as he saw a tall blonde man right where he had just been sitting. That could not be true! He was away for like 5 minutes and that's when Jeff decided to show up! And not only that - he now sat on his specific chair making it impossible for Evan to initiate a flirty conversation about that damn stool.
“Shit.” Evan grinded his teeth, his feet suddenly sticking to the floor.
Would he back up and leave? Change his plans? Maybe he was not yet ready to confront Jeff. Things were already getting out of control. Evan's mind was racing as he tried to come to a conclusion. Maybe he should switch the roles and be that one who would confront Jeff about the seat. After all, it was him who stole his chair, even though his drinks were still there. But for some reason he couldn't move his body. His knees were shaking uncontrollably and his heart rate became unnaturally high. After standing there for what felt like forever he finally gained back control. Purposefully he walked towards Dahmer, suddenly feeling a strength coming out of nowhere.
Now it was his time! Now he would talk to him!
As he came closer he noticed that Jeff was wearing an outfit he had never seen before. A black shirt, but it was...seen through?! Evan gasped and his eyes widened. A mesh shirt?
“Uhm.” Evan said so quietly that Jeff didn't even notice him. “Excuse me.” He said louder than before, which caused Jeff to lift his head and turn it towards Evan.
“This is my seat.” Evan stuttered so insecure that he mentally slapped himself right across his face but before he could pity himself more for his pathetic attempt, his eyes locked with Jeff's yellow ones.
Yellow.
Evan blinked once… then twice, thinking he was seeing things. Behind those iconic aviator glasses, a pair of yellow eyes studied him. It brought Evan completely out of concept, especially when his eyes wandered down to his chest, where his cute little nipples peaked through the mesh of the shirt.
Shit.
“Is it?” Jeff simply asked and watched him closely but whatever he was thinking, Evan couldn't read it at all. This was certainly not like in his imaginations. Evan swallowed hard, trying to focus on his task but it was no use, he couldn't think straight anymore and he was making a fool of himself the longer he didn't answer to Jeff. Like he had swallowed his own tongue he was unable to form a sentence, unable to save this disaster and to make it even worse, he suddenly felt his blood leaving all his head, sinking to his feet. A dizziness overcame him and as he wanted to excuse himself, instead of words his breakfast landed right on the floor.
Evan leaned forward and threw up so violently that it caused the people around him to jump away in disgust. Jeff just sat there and silently watched the scene with a raised eyebrow.
Evan emptied his whole stomach on the floor, gasping desperately for air as the wave finally ended. Still leaning forward, he opened his eyes, staring at the brown puddle in front of him, not daring to look up. His whole body was shaken, his skin covered in sweat. Drops of it dropped down from his nose into the mess.
He fucked up. His only chance. And he. Fucked. Up.
As if it wasn't enough, Evan felt his throat burning as the tears began to form in his eyes. This was the worst. And the more he realized that this was it, that he would never have Jeff, the more he felt the need to cry.
“Are you okay?” Jeff asked, the tone of his voice so untelling. Was he disgusted? Worried? Was he just trying to be nice? Evan couldn't tell at all. It took Evan a while until he could press out a ‘Yeah sorry’ that was so quietly mumbled that Jeff could only assume. No longer could he take this, so without even looking at Jeff again, he stormed out of the bar, running into random people and left for good. Evan walked with fast steps until he couldn't see the club anymore. Without any direction he just went along the streets with tears streaming down his face, hoping that the ground would just rip open and swallow him whole.
Evan should have known better:
Love was a losing game.
Chapter 4: Russian Roulette
Summary:
"As my life flashes before my eyes
I'm wondering will I, ever see another sunrise?
So many won't get the chance to say goodbye
But it's too late to think of the value of my life"
Chapter Text
Days after days went by, as Evan continued to dwell in self pity, locking himself up in his apartment, staying in bed all day as he called in sick. He had cried so many tears that his eyes dried out by now, leaving him numb like an empty shell. Evan Peters was only a shadow of himself, not getting himself together. His heart was broken, his faith gone. God he wished back for his lack of emotions and the carefree quality of life he had before he met Jeff.
Lovingly he caressed the piece of clothing with his thumb, a used panty, brushing tenderly over the crumbles of dried body fluids burned into it. It almost made Evan cry again, but it was only a burn in the eyes, he really couldn’t shed more tears.
“I miss you so much…” He whined to himself and pressed the black cloth to his face, taking in the fading scent. “What am I supposed to do?”
He couldn't go back, he had made an idiot out of himself and now Jeff would never ever give him a chance.
Evan rolled around in his bed, feeling restless. It was no use. At least he had to see him again or else he would lose his fucking mind. So for the first time in days, he finally stepped into the shower and got himself ready to go out. As he observed himself in the mirror he was quite shocked to look back at the dark bags underneath his eyes and the little beard that began to grow. God he looked terrible - however it still didn't stop him from trying to get the best result as he shaved his face and took care of his pale skin.
.
.
.
After an hour or so, Evan arrived at the bar, choosing his usual spot in a dark corner where he could simply just observe. No way he would approach Jeff anytime soon again, but at least he could worship him from afar, feast off his beauty. Dressed in a dark hoodie and Jean's he sat there, waiting for Jeff to arrive. It gave him all butterflies in his belly as he just imagined how he was about to see him again and luckily this time he was on time again, wearing a white shirt that was unbuttoned enough to expose his shaven chest and light blue jeans that suited the jeans jacket he was wearing over his shirt.
No mesh shirt. No yellow contacts. Thank God..
Not that he didn't like the look - actually he loved this look - but it has been too much, frying his last brain cells and causing him to be overstimulated enough to vomit.
Evan's body stiffened as he watched him closely, his heart made a jump higher with every damn second. How could anyone be so handsome? He looked so fine, his hair neatly combed and his face soft and clean like he just stepped out of heaven. An angel that just wanted to give earth a visit.
Dumbfounded Evan grinned, having literally heart eyes as he watched the love of his life approaching his regular chair.
However for some reason, let it call destiny, Jeff stopped in his movement and looked around, scanning the crowd for something - or someone? Certainly his eyes stopped at Evan, who looked away immediately, staring at his hands on the table in front of him like hypnotized.
Did Jeff see him? Did he recognize him?
Hopefully not! That would be unbearable and embarrassing, something he could never recover from, he-
“Hey.” A voice pulled Evan out of his train of thoughts.
With fear in his eyes, as the voice already sounded too familiar, he slowly looked up, probably staring at the other like an absolute maniac.
Hell no - this was not happening!
Jeff stood there, looking down on him with a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. Skillfully he was holding two drinks with just one hand. All in all he looked so damn cool and hot, robbing his voice with his mere presence. Evan could not bring himself to answer back, he just stared up and then back at Jeff's huge hand holding the drinks.
“It's you.” Jeff then said and grabbed a free chair to sit next to Evan at the table and placed one of the drinks in front of Evan. “Are you feeling better?”
Evan narrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head as if he didn't get what he was saying until the bell rang. Dahmer remembered his humiliating performance a few weeks ago.
Shit.
Immediately Evan's face became hot of shame and his cheeks flushed in a deep red. “Uhm…”
“No need to be embarrassed.” The blonde said straight forward. “Shit happens.” Nonchalantly he took a deep sip from his drink and signed for Evan to drink as well.
Insecure, he took the glass and looked at it, frozen by the degrading feeling inside of him.
“It's rum coke.” Jeff explained. “Don't you like it?”
“I-i do.” Evan stuttered and took a sip. “Thanks.”
This wasn't going too well either. Instead of being confident and just laughing it off, Evan felt like a little grey mouse, not able to get any damn word out of his mouth. It was just awkward. And the worst: Jeff seemed to notice his lack of confidence, which amused him. The serial killer grinned mischievously as he rested his head on his hand to observe Evan.
Evan was a handsome young man with deep brown eyes, so dark that they seemed black. His nose was perfectly shaped and his jawline sharp and defined. The plumb rose lips inviting to be kissed. Even without a fancy outfit, he looked gorgeous.
And Jeff was exactly out for that.
A naive young boy, who was not stable enough to resist his offers.
“I-I apologize…I didn't mean to…” Evan started to explain but he didn't even know what he was trying to say, his mind was racing and he could barely form a thought.
“It's fine.” Jeff answered and smoked his cigarette, his eyes never leaving Evan, who felt himself getting smaller and smaller the longer he stared. “As I said shit happens. But I do have to say…” He smirked. “... You've been on my mind since then.”
Evan's face became comically red, his hands so sweaty, the glass in his hand almost slipped out of them.
Jeff had thought about him?
“Before you made such a mess, I immediately realized that you have a great jawline.” Evan blinked a few times in confusion, not really believing his ears. “I'm a professional photographer, I can tell.” He finished his cigarette and left the half burning bud in the ashtray, not bothering about it. “However, I would love to take some pictures of you. I pay generously.”
As the words sunk in, the Polaroids that Evan had seen flashed before his eyes.
A Photographer. Certainly Evan wasn't so sure if this was the way to describe it but he had to admit they were artistic in a gruesome way.
It would probably trigger a feeling of disturbance in him if he wasn't wired so differently. The only thing that bothered him were the imagination of Jeff fucking one of them. However, Evan remembered that Jeff only took pictures of a few selected men, that all ended with the same fate, which made Evan wonder if he should feel flattered or furious. On the one hand it was not enough for Evan to be one of them, he should be above them all and on the other hand it probably meant that Jeff chose him as his next victim. If he stuck to the narrative that he was the chosen one for Jeff, it was rather unlikely that Jeff would do any harm to him. Wouldn't he?
Evan sunk in his thoughts for a moment, rubbing his chin, having a monologue in his head back and forth. But what if Jeff hasn't realized that yet and simply planned to end his life tonight? But after all he highly believed that they were meant to be soulmates that could not be divined by the universe. And either way, Evan could fix him. Make him understand that he could finally stop this, since Evan would fulfill all his needs.
“Pictures you say…” Evan gave him a sassy smile, feeling himself becoming more and more confident again as he saw himself a few inches away from the finish line. “Tell me more about it, I'm interested.”
.
.
.
As they walked together, music was echoing through the streets, people roamed around, laughing, drinking, just having a good time. But Evan only had eyes for Jeff, hanging onto his lips as he told him so much about anything and yet gave him so little information about himself. Many words with little meaning, but that was alright. In the end Evan already knew everything about him and besides - they were in their ‘getting to know each other phase’, so he didn't expect Jeff to be all open yet. They still had so much time to discuss everything and Evan was already planning their future life together. The boy was on cloud nine, feeling so happy that after all, they had found each other, just like the universe had it planned for them.
“Here it is.” Jeff said and signed towards the Oxford Apartments, not knowing that Evan had walked this route so many times by now.
As they walked towards Apartment 213, Evans' heartbeat increased. The last time he went there, he had the best time of his life, imagining how he and Jeff would make love and kiss and now it was about to happen. He was so sure.
But when would Jeff finally do the first step and kiss him? Should he be the one taking the initiative?
His attention was brought back when the click of the keyhole chimed through the hallway. Jeff grinned at Evan, then pushed his body against the door to open it.
Beep beep beep beep.
The sound of the alarm system immediately started off but was shut down by Jeff in seconds.
0-5-2-1.
The brunette repeated it in his head.
Dahmer placed the key on a little shelf next to the door and turned to Evan.
“Make yourself at home. Do you want a drink?” He asked and hung his jeans jacket on the wardrobe. Meanwhile Evan inspected the apartment, it still looked the same. Nothing had changed. “Of course you want one.” He then concluded and just like that he walked towards the kitchen, grabbing two red plastic cups without giving Evan a chance to express himself. However it just made Evan's heart jump - how caring Jeff was!
“Sure.” He said with a huge smile on his lips and followed Jeff like a little curious puppy. Maybe he should try his luck now? His mouth became uncomfortably dry as he just imagined trying to kiss Jeff, who suddenly stopped in his movement as he noticed that the smaller one was following him.
“How about you make yourself comfortable on the sofa?” He suggested and gave Evan an intense stare. He put on a polite smile, but his eyes were not in sync, showing a much different emotion. Of course Evan noticed, but he justified it in his mind, trying to blame it on Jeff being so nervous around him. Probably he was just realizing that he found his significant other and didn't want to make any mistakes. So naively Evan nodded, ignoring the upcoming feeling in his stomach, and sat down on the beige couch. He swallowed down the nervousness that was creeping up on him as he stared at Jeff's broad back.
“Your apartment is lovely.” Evan said to kill the silence that was suddenly hanging over them like a veil. Actually Evan was proud of himself that he became more forthcoming and his stuttering stopped completely since they had left the bar. It took him some time to adjust but it was getting easier with every passing minute. “I like the plants and your fish tank.”
Jeff turned his head as he was mixing the drinks. “Thanks. Those are African Cichlids. They are very intelligent…” He laughed wholeheartedly and Evans' heart beamed at that. “...they even recognise me and look at me. Almost like little humans.”
Evan couldn't help it but smiled like an idiot. This was too wholesome! “That's amazing! How many of them are there?” He asked seriously interested.
Jeff thought for a second as if he was counting in his head. “Five. But I added one of them just recently. Do you see the Yellow one?”
Evan got up and took a closer look. “Yes. He's stunning.”
With two drinks in his hands, Jeff joined Evan next to the aquarium. The radiating heat as his upper arm touched Evan's, were unbearable, making Evan shiver. “Yes. Yellow is my favourite colour actually.”
“Yeah I kn-” Evan interrupted himself, realizing what he was about to say. ‘I know.’ But he quickly got it right: “I can tell.”
Jeff narrowed his eyebrows and studied Evans face. “Why so? I don't have anything yellow here besides the fish.”
Evan gave him a cheeky grin and shrugged his shoulders. “I thought of the first time I saw you. You wore yellow contacts. Why so?”
Gently Jeff placed the drink in Evans hand, sending electrical impulses through his whole body as their fingers touched. “Have you watched Return if the Yedi…or The Exorcist 3?”
Actually Jeff didn't had to explain further as it finally clicked for Evan - how didn't he realized that before? He just nodded and listened.
“Well, you might remember their glowing yellow eyes. I thought it looked kinda cool.” He said but there was something dark within his eyes now. “It sets the mood right.”
Surprised Evan lifted an eyebrow. “What kinda mood?” But Jeff just grinned and shrugged.
“You wouldn't understand. Anyways. You should finish this drink quickly, I promise you, it will lose you up for our little shooting!” He said with his eyes now wide open and held his drink towards Evan, signing him to clink glasses with him. Evans' gaze wandered down to the drink.
There were white particles floating in his drink.
Did he…?
Evan sighed, feeling his heart shattering once again. Jeff drugged his drink. Like he would do with all of them. Was Evan just one of many? And the worst: he didn't even put an effort into making it less visible.
He lifted the drink and let it clank with Jeff's, who was about to pour it down his throat but was stopped by Evan. “Wait!” He said suddenly and grabbed Jeff's arm to stop him from drinking.
Evan needed time to think. He needed just a bit of time to figure it out.
“I know I shouldn't do that, but I need some painkillers right now. I'm getting a headache.” Evan said and sounded almost robotic. Then he laughed awkwardly. “Mixing pills with alcohol is bad, don't even lecture me, but don't worry I've done that before. It's fine.”
For a moment Jeff's face turned into a big question mark, he even felt called out there for a second but then he just brushed it off. “Just drink it. I'll promise your pain will be gone in no time.” He said and was about to guide the drink back towards his mouth. But Evan insisted and took Jeff's drink and put it on the coffee table.
“Seriously. I'm about to get a migraine, you don't want me to puke again, don't you? Please get me one.” Evan's voice turned softly and his eyes sparkled, trying to put on a puppy face. Jeff hesitated. “Please…”
“Fine.” Jeff growled and walked towards the bed room, which ultimately gave Evan just a few seconds. His soft grinning smile immediately turned as Jeff turned his back on him and his eyes became filled with something else. It wasn't sadness and it wasn't anger either.
It was just the stinging pain of betrayal that pierced his heart.
Chapter 5: Can't Smile Without You
Summary:
"Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well I'm finding it hard leavin' your love behind me"
Chapter Text
>>You know I can′t smile without you
I can't smile without you<<
“I can't smile without you.” He silently sang along as he looked through the camera's eye right at his handsome subject.
*click*
“Yes…just like that…”
*click* - it was the sound of the Polaroid camera.
>>I can′t laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin′ it hard to do anything<<
“You're doing good baby…” He whispered softly as he watched the other in front of him, hypnotized by his beauty.
*click click*
>>You see I feel sad when you′re sad
I feel glad when you're glad<<
“Just one more…”
*click*
“Look at this picture…it catches your beauty just perfectly…” Playfully he waved the printed picture in front of him. “Now let's try something more fun…”
>>If you only knew what I′m goin' through
I just can′t smile without you<<
.
.
.
“I have a few left.” Jeff said and waved the blister of pills in the air as he walked towards Evan.
“Thanks.” The others smiled and swallowed down his immense nervousness. His breath stopped as their fingers touched for a moment as he took the blister, sending electrical impulses through his whole body.
“Now take it.” Jeff demanded and even seemed a bit annoyed because Evan was not really reacting instead he had stared at him like a lovestruck idiot. Not without a bit of hesitation, Evan took one and guided the drink to his lips, noticing the way Jeff looked at him, excited and stressed at the same time.
Evan knew it was now too late.
Quickly he gulped the pill down with the drink, knowing the consequences of his actions. As he drank up, Jeff still eyed him with a satisfied grin stuck to the corner of his lip. Then he grabbed his own drink from the table and began to pour it down his throat like he was drinking water. Evan became a bit pale and his stomach twisted painfully.
Was Evan's decision the right choice? How many pills were in that drink? Would it be harmful? Would he survive that?
Shit. Evan felt his heart stop as he realized that it might be getting seriously dangerous. But what was he supposed to do now? All he knew was he had like 30 minutes or so till the drugs would kick in and since he had no idea if he would ever have a chance again, he had to take the initiative!
Without having too much time to even think of any kind of solution, Evan simply grabbed Jeff's drink again, straight out of his hand, as he just finished it halfway and put both of their half full glasses back to the table.
“What the hell?” Jeff asked, confused why Evan would do that. Flabbergasted he looked at Evan who was just staring back at him with wide eyes. “Don't you wanna finish your drink?” Jeff asked, clearly bothered. The words felt almost like mocking for Evan. This guy was doing a terrible job at hiding his intentions. Even if he wouldn't already know about Dahmer's dark secrets, by now everyone with a bit of senses left would have noticed that he was acting kinda off.
But Evan did not respond to any of his words and just stepped forward, shaking like a leaf, and grabbed Dahmer's broad shoulders. To keep up with the taller he stepped on his tiptoes and pressed his hot lips on Jeff's, finally getting a taste of the man he worshiped for months now. A taste of alcohol and cigarettes, a perfect scent in Evan’s eyes. An explosion of feelings and sensations rushed through his veins like burning lava as he just let his lips rest on Jeff's, sucking up all the Impressions. At the same time Evan was so nervous that he could barely breathe and his knees struggled to held his weight.
So he pulled back, his head flushing in a deep red as he tried to check on Jeff's reaction as he did not really answer the rather innocent kiss that Evan randomly forced on him. Insecure, his dark, almost black, brown eyes searched for any kind of sign in Jeff's face. His pointy eyebrow was raised and his lip turned into a cheeky curl. Evan already felt his stomach rumbling again as he worried that he once again fucked up. What was it that stress and discomfort always ended for him in a bad tummy situation? Evan felt like he was just a slave to his body that seemed to do its own things way too often…
“Wow.” Jeff chortled and adjusted his glasses. Lacking self-confidence, Evan swallowed hard but the thick ball in his throat didn't seem to go away. He would not survive another failure, but Jeff then wrapped his arms around Evan's waist and pulled him close with such a strong force that Evan swore he felt his dick immediately growing hard. Then Jeff grinned, showing his pearl white teeth - which was impressive as Evan knew how much of a chain-smoker Jeff was - and came closer to Evan's blushing face. “I thought you would never kiss me.”
An audible gasp escaped Evan's shivering lips and if even possible, his face grew a shade darker, leaving his ears burning. Jeff had waited for this? He couldn't believe his luck. Jeff pressed him so close, that he could feel the other's heartbeat that was not any near the rate that Evan's heart was beating. It thundered against his ribcage like a drum and it became even faster when Jeff leaned forward and kissed Evan with a passion he had never experienced before - and by god - Jeff was a good kisser. So good that it made Evan wonder if he could even keep up with that.
Eagerly, Dahmer slid his tongue in, exploring his new toy's mouth. Sweet moans broke the silence and filled their ears with pleasure. Enough to make both men aroused.
“Oh Jeff…” Evan cried out in ecstasy between their kisses and became bolder and wilder, exploring Dahmer's mouth deep with his tongue, sucking up the liquids shared. So wild that it made Jeff laugh since Evan was now getting pretty much uninhibited and pressed himself so close as if he wanted to merge with Jeff and become one.
“Relax…” Jeff smiled and pushed Evan away by shoving him gently by his hips. “You're a wild one.” The words barely made their way to Evan's foggy brain, he was just breathing heavily, ready to continue kissing Jeff, but he was still holding Evan in place so he could not approach again. Interested, Jeff tilted his head and observed the other, trying to figure him out - never had he made the experience that someone was showing so much affection. Meanwhile Evan shuddered underneath Jeff's stares, feeling too excited to hide it any longer. His body was basically calling for him, making him sweat and tremble in desperation for more. It was agony.
“Have you done this before? You seem so nervous and overly excited.” Jeff suspected that he was either a virgin or at least very inexperienced. Which was actually welcomed. First of all he would love to be the one who pops his cherry - and simultaneously be the last man he'd ever have due to further plans Jeff had - and secondly Jeff liked the attention and affection that boy showed towards him, but it was only desirable to a certain degree.
At one point Jeff would have had enough of it and preferred a partner that would not show any kind of reaction. A body that was not able to move or react, a tool basically that Jeff could use without feeling exposed or in the position where he'd have to take care of someone else's feelings. And Jeff was sure, soon he would get what he wanted - if he would just drink more of his special cocktail he had made just for him. The amount he drank of the mixture was enough to kick him out for a while but not long enough to have him warm for hours. Hours he needed to release himself over and over again. Using him all night long like a puppet to cuddle, touch and ultimately to burst his load deep inside the unconscious body.
Jeff shivered - just the thought of it almost made him drool.
“Y-yeah…” Evan stuttered. “It's just…you have no idea…” He swallowed hard and took a deep breath to calm his overheating nerves. This was so embarrassing but he needed to get it off his chest. Soon there wasn't time for explanations anyway. “You have no idea how much I'm into you. You have been on my mind since I've seen you for the first time. And now you are right in front of me. I can't even describe how I feel about that in words.” It wasn't a lie, though Jeff thought he was referring to the embarrassing situation from a few weeks ago. That was the first time Jeff had noticed Evan.
Surprised, Jeff narrowed his eyebrows. “Is that so? Wow.” For a moment Jeff was sunken in thoughts, rubbing his chin, adding to Evan's nervousness. “Usually people don't really care much about me.”
“What do you mean?” Evan asked in disbelief. He has observed over and over again how Jeff would take home guys after guys. That guy was a slut through and through, fucking around with a bunch of guys. How could people not be into him? Evan would have felt fooled if Jeff wasn't so true in his emotion.
“You see…most guys are only interested in a short and quick fuck. It's always the same. They come and then they leave. Leaving me alone.” As he said that his eyelid flinched and his gaze became empty as if he was dissociating there for a minute. Then he turned his head towards Evan. “You’ll leave too. Won't you?”
Knowing that Jeff had already sealed his fate, Evan simply shrugged his shoulders. “I think that's up to you.” He finally understood the issue. Jeff was lonely. But he needed to see the truth, needed to understand that it was Evan who could save him. With him he'd never be lonely again. If Jeff would just let him, he would never leave - well, he wouldn't leave either way.
“What do you mean?” Jeff asked in confusion and relaxed his grip around Evan's hips, who took the opportunity to press himself closer again.
“I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I'm all yours.” Seductively Evan stared at Jeff and breathed a kiss on his parted lips. Hypnotized, Jeff answered the kiss, taking in all of Evan's scent and taste - realizing he was all he ever dreamed off. Soft skin and a body that seemed lean to the touch. A guy that was promising him things that he wished for so deeply. But Jeff was aware that he couldn't trust his words and even if - it was too late: He had spiked his drink and now he had to go through it. Surely he couldn't expect Evan to be cool with that after he would wake up. Soon he would realise what Jeff had done. Ultimately he would have to kill him.
There wasn't too much time left so Jeff decided to stop their making out session here and now, ultimately he wouldn't get his dick hard anymore the second he would have to perform sex on him as long as he was awake. Also he still wanted to take some pictures of Evan. Catching his personality and as long as it was there.
“Evan…I want to take pictures of you.” Confused Evan tilted his head as he was eager to just make out as long as he could. But obviously he couldn't deny any wish from Jeff and decided if he wanted to take pictures, he should do so and he would make sure he'd take the best pictures he could ever imagine.
“Then go and get your camera.” He said and gave him one last kiss before he let go of him. As he walked away Evan felt his eyes tearing up.
“Why did you do that?” Evan whispered to himself, wondering if Jeff realised his own mistake.
It didn't take long for Jeff to get it, he quickly returned, excited for the little shoot. And to his surprise, Evan was already shirtless, presenting him his lean body and smooth skin. A hint of abs were visible and his chest was firm and shaven, just like Jeff liked it.
And to add to his excitement he noted with satisfaction that Evans drink was empty.
“Oh my -” He gasped and came closer to Evan, his breath shaking as he let his gaze wander all over his bare skin. “You're beautiful…”
The words made Evan shiver. He couldn't recall if anyone ever said something like that to him and to be honest he wouldn't have cared anyways. But this coming from Jeff…it was like he was entering heaven's gate. There was nothing more he could ever wish for.
Meanwhile Jeff was hypnotized by the view, his mouth becoming dry and his hands sweaty. Embarrassedly, Evan giggled and let himself sink to the couch, starting to ache his back and lift his arms over his head, posing seductively. For a moment Jeff just stood there, watching his prey lolling around until he finally remembered that he was supposed to take pictures. Mesmerized, he guided the Polaroid camera to his face and began to take pictures.
*click*
The bright light made Evan see stars there for a second but he continued to pose, tilting his head and gave a hot stare into the camera, flirting with it. Immediately the picture came out, not developed yet obviously, and Jeff carelessly let it fall to the ground as he took another one.
*click*
The way Jeff looked at him, basically eating him up with his eyes made Evan go crazy. Just that was enough to make his dick tingle and hard in his Jean's, which he decided to open up and slowly pull down.
“Oh damn…” Jeff breathed silently and grabbed Evan's shoes to pull them off and let him kick off his jeans, leaving him in his white knickers and tennis socks. A visible tent had built in his panties, a wet spot at the tip. Jeff licked his lips, hoping he could get a taste of it later.
*click*
“You're looking so good…” He praised and came closer, his own cock throbbing hard in his pants.
*click click*
More pictures landed on the floor. And Jeff was a mess by now. He was breathing heavily, his heart rate becoming higher with every passing minute.
“Now…can you push out your chest…yes exactly like that…and put your arms behind your head.”
Evan let him take some pictures in that pose before he grinned and grabbed Jeff's leg. “I think you should get rid of these.” His hands fumbled at the jeans, his eyes fixated on the trapped bulge in front of his face. With one shaky hand, Jeff undid his belt and opened his pants. Black knickers - the kind Evan had stolen from him - flashed underneath and with one movement the blue jeans fell to the ground, stopping at his ankles.
Evan's eyes fluttered and it took him the breath. The bulge was enormous - and he knew what to expect from the pictures but seeing it in person - yet trapped - was another experience.
“Fuck…” He whispered and slid his fingers underneath the waistband. His brown eyes looked up, meeting with Jeff's blue eyes that were carefully watching him. Then he pulled down the underwear, freeing the aching dick and by that he was greeted with a musky and sweaty scent - not that one that indicated an unhygienic behaviour - more one that you naturally get when your private parts are stuck in your underwear for hours. For Evan it was a heavenly smell and he wouldn't have minded it to be more intense. Hungrily his gaze wandered over the 7 inches of pure luck. Jeff was shaven, but a dark shadow was already covering the shaven area, indicating a high level of testosterone. Just like with his face, he seemed to have a fast and thick hair growth. Evan had observed Jeff daily for months so he knew exactly how fast.
Dahmer noticed how impressed the other was, which made him grin. “You wanna get a taste of it?”
Hypnotized Evan nodded, not looking away from the dick dangling in front of him.
“Good…then open your pretty mouth for me.”
Like he was told to, Evan parted his lips and before he could guide himself towards the treat, Jeff grabbed him by his curls and pushed his hip forward, roughly pressing his dick against Evan's face. The brunette gasped, feeling the warmth radiating from Jeff's groin area and smelling his scent so close now. Finally his tongue found his tip, licking and sucking away the building precum, making his own dick wetter and wetter. A deep growl escaped Jeff's lips as Evan passionately began to blow him off.
“Oh fuck yes…” He moaned and moved along his hips, giving Evan more and more inches with every passing second until he began to gag helplessly. But Evan wanted more so he forced his throat to slack and pushed his head forward and automatically he swallowed Jeff's cock, which was now pressed tight and deep in his throat for a moment till Evan pushed back, coughing and tearing up. Definitely a skill that he needed to work on more, but Jeff seemed satisfied anyways as he was grinning and enjoying it. “Open your mouth again, I have an idea.”
In the heat of the moment, Jeff guided his tip back to Evans mouth. “Tongue out.” He demanded and Evan did. Slowly he rubbed his tip over it, back and forth. Then he guided the camera back to his face and began to take pictures of Evan giving him oral. He knew he would cherish those pictures, they were something out of the ordinary. He couldn't wait to look at them again later on and masturbate to them. But not without Evan's help: Jeff already had a plan made up in his twisted mind, how he would preserve Evan's head for a few days to enjoy his beauty a little longer. How he would cut off his hands, keep them too. And rather unusual for Jeff: he definitely wanted to keep a good amount of Evans' beautiful hair, maybe even a bit of a scalp. Dahmer really much enjoyed letting his hands run through the brown soft curls. The feeling made his heart jump - speaking of - he wasn't sure yet if he wanted to eat his heart or try to preserve it as well. Evan was really special, he wished he could just keep his whole body, keep him like a zombie boyfriend…
Jeff sighed.
Should he try an experiment?
More undeveloped pictures landed on the ground till Jeff decided it was actually time for the pills to do their job. It should kick in by now.
“How are you feeling Evan?” Jeff asked suddenly and pulled his cock out of Evan's mouth. Evan knew what he was referring to. With the back of his hand he whipped away the salvia off his chin. Then he just shook his head and laughed.
“I'm doing great.” He said amused and stared confidently at the other. Jeff narrowed his eyebrows, feeling off all of the sudden. Evan should by now feel that his body was starting to feel slow and numb. He should start to feel tired and his head spinning. Confused, Jeff rubbed his face, noticing how cold his hands were. So cold that the camera in his other hand just fell out of it.
“But tell me Jeff…” The brown eyes suddenly lost all of their playful spark and were replaced by a sickening coldness that caught Jeff off guard.
“How are you feeling?”
Jeff stumbled backwards, losing his sense of balance all of the sudden. Helplessly he held onto the little table next to the couch.
“W-what…?” He ripped his eyes open and grabbed his chest tightly as he began to realise what was overcoming him. Panic began to rise, but still his body couldn't react the way he wanted to. The adrenaline that shot through his body was neutralised by something else in his body.
Jeff has been drugged.
Before Jeff could even question if Evan did it on purpose or if they simply mixed up the drinks, he felt himself about to collapse. The last thing he really noticed was Evan supporting his body that couldn't carry its own weight anymore and move him to the couch. Evan's face hovered over him, his lips moving but Jeff couldn't hear him anymore. His vision became darker as saw the camera pointed at him. There was a bright light and then darkness.
“Shhh. It's okay Jeff, I'm here. I'll take care of you.” Evan's voice echoes through his deafening ears.
And just like that he drifted away in a dreamless slumber.
>>You know I can′t smile without you
I can't smile without you<<
Chapter 6: Baby I'm Yours
Notes:
TW:
-r*pe
-drug abuse____
"Baby, I'm yours (baby, I'm yours)
And I'll be yours (yours) until the stars fall from the sky
Yours (yours) until the rivers all run dry
In other words, until I die"
Chapter Text
And there he was. Laying right in front of him, looking like an angel that has fallen from the sky. A sleeping beauty, so charming, so graceful - well if you just ignored that his cock was hanging out and his jeans hanging onto one leg, making him look like a drunken idiot.
Evan's eyes fluttered in excitement as he watched Jeff sleeping so innocently. His sweaty hands traced along his firm chest, down to his sides, just exploring the warm body.
“Oh Jeff.” He gasped. Eventually his hands landed on his chest again, resting there, feeling his low heartbeat underneath and his steady breath that made his torso rise and fall in a comforting rhythm. Gently he leaned forward, placing his lips on Jeff's numb ones. Of course, Jeff couldn't answer his kiss, but Evan held onto the memory of the way they kissed just a few minutes ago. “You shouldn't have done that…” He shook his head. “You could have had it all. I had no other choice. I had to do it.”
His gaze wandered over to Jeff's drink that was luckily still filled halfway. Jeff had made a few big mistakes. The first mistake was that he had tried to drug Evan in such an obvious manner. And the second big mistake was that he left Evan alone with both of the drinks when he left for the pain killers. With shaking hands Evan had stirred the drugged drink with his finger, trying to get out some of the obvious particles and switched the two cups. It happened so quickly. And it took all his strength to go through with it. He even had thought about just drinking the spiked mixture and devote himself completely to Jeff, but he simply didn't want to be one of so many. Unimportant. Just another nameless guy that would fade in Jeff's memory after a few drinks.
However he had no idea how many pills were in the deadly cocktail - so that there was still so much liquid left was probably for the better. Hopefully the effect of the drug wouldn't be too harmful but unfortunately it also meant that Evan didn't have too much time to think about further actions as the effect would also wear off a lot quicker.
He needed a plan.
Jeff surely would be in rage once he wakes up, maybe even try to kill Evan with his bare hands. Evan shuddered at the thought as it creeped him out but also made him go hard at the same time. He would definitely die for Jeff and even be grateful if Jeff's face was the last thing he saw before he would take his last agonizing breath. But more so he'd appreciate resolving the situation somehow. He wanted to be with Jeff, needed him to exist - so he had to at least try to talk to him. If that wouldn't work, Jeff could still finish his work as Evan wouldn't want to live anymore anyways.
But as long as he was unconscious, Evan had to take advantage of it, he had to enjoy Jeff for himself as much as he could. Tenderly his hands brushed underneath his shirt, now his bare and hot skin against his own. Luckily he was wearing a bottomed shirt that he could open up easily and his pants and knickers were already pulled down.
Satisfied Evan looked down at the very naked Jeffrey Dahmer laying there like an open invitation as he wiped away the building sweat on his forehead. Barely he could hold back his excitement and he began to giggle and laugh.
“Look at you!” He said and began to rub Dahmer's thighs lovingly, leaving out his private area as if he was sparing the best for the end. “Isn't it kinda funny? Getting a taste of your own medicine.” Again he snickered. “But don't you worry babe, I'm not going to hurt you. My precious wonderful angel.”
His hands brushed along Jeff's strong legs, massaging his muscular calves until he got to the rim of his washed out socks that were the only piece of cloth left on him. He took off the socks almost lovingly, each one, then brought them close to his nose, burying it in the scented fabric and inhaled deep. A slight stench escaped from them, sending electrical impulses through Evans whole body, making his insides tingle. “Oh my god…you smell so fucking good.” Evan spoke in a raspy voice and shifted his focus on Jeff's toes, which he gently wiggled between his fingers one by one. Not one inch of Jeff's skin was about to be untouched as Evan felt the urge to explore him entirely like he was a precious possession to him.
And just like that he began to place soft kisses all over him, licking his salty skin, tasting and smelling every part like he wanted to eat this man hole. His face, torso, limbs and obviously his private parts were peppered with kisses, not a single spot remained unmarked.
It didn't take long for Evan to lose himself completely, he was like an unsupervised kid in a candy store and Jeff was the most delicious and sweetest treat in stock. He became more unhinged, pressing his face into the sweaty armpits, taking in the sour odor while grinding himself against the warm body like a dog in heat. Rapidly, kisses turned into sucking, leaving colorful hickeys all over Jeff's rough skin and sucking quickly turned into biting - but not yet breaking the skin - just leaving a little imprint that would fade within minutes or hours, maybe leaving a bruise at least. Evan made sure to leave his signature all over Jeff, marking him like he was his property - which he was in his reality-warped mind.
By now Evan's underwear was soaked in precum, so eventually he took it off, now hovering over Jeff with his dick exposed and hard as a rock, his chest heaving heavily. Evan was so aroused, his wetness was dripping from his tip right on the body underneath, his legs shaken by the eagerness. He waited for this so long - too long - dreamed and imagined it every damn conscious second of his life. Over and over again he had repeated different scenarios in his head, rewound it like a videotape and played it from the beginning again. But none of it came close to the feeling he was experiencing at that very moment. This was real. And now he was finally having Jeff. Finally he was his - even though he had planned it all differently.
“You're mine Jeff. Mine alone!” He croaked and lowered himself down to rub his manhood over Jeff's. Gently he let his wet tip trace along the other's length, feeling the heat of the flesh. And even though Jeff's cock was slack, it was still bigger than Evan's fully erected penis. For sure Evan was madly impressed.
Playfully he began to move his hips rhythmically, eventually increasing his speed as he humped Jeff's cock in ecstasy, moaning and whimpering like an animal. Only this mattered now. The feeling of their hot skin meeting and the wet sounds it made. Every time Evan lifted his hip, a string of precum connected them and the act became more wetter. The friction even caused Jeff's dick to harden up a little, giving Evan satisfaction on another level - Jeff loved him even when he was asleep.
In heat he threw his head back, grabbing the two cocks and began to rub them while thrusting into his fist at the same time. An overwhelming feeling overcame him, this was better than using his underwear as masturbation aid and better than humping his pillow. “Fuck!” He groaned. “I love you…I-I’m coming…fuck!”
Completely unbothered, he chased his orgasm, curled his toes and shamelessly moaned as he abused the immovable body, like Jeff had done it himself a hundred times to other men. Karma was served, some would say, but that didn't make the act any less reprehensible. Evan’s body tensed, the muscles in his legs stiffened as he clenched his ass cheeks. Thick white ropes of cum slathered over his hand and Jeff's body as he rode his orgasm till the end.
Exhausted he huffed, barely able to breath properly as he rolled to the side and landed on his feet next to the sofa. He took a few breaths, runned his hand through his messy hair and let himself cool down. Weak legs carried him across the room, where he stopped at the kitchen counter to grab a newsport. Evan wasn't really a smoker, only now and then he allowed himself one or two and more so since he knew about Jeff. Smoking the menthol cigarettes made him feel closer to him but right now he just wanted to treat himself and enjoy this night to its fullest. Carefree he lightened up a cigarette and inhaled the toxic smoke, then leaned his head back to blow the smoke in the air. Evan closed his eyes, being in the moment right now. He rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck from left to right before he opened his eyes again to look at the still slack body on the couch.
He sighed. “You should have come too.”
There was no reply. Of course.
“I wanted to experience this with you together. I still can't believe you did this Jeff.” The words failed to travel through the deaf ears, still Evan spoke to him as if he was aware of what was happening.
“This could have been a lot easier today.” As much as he enjoyed this, he wished Jeff would be awake. Would caress him, look at him with his beautiful blue eyes and whisper sweet words into his ear. But he wasn't. He was in a deep slumber, unable to even recognise how beautiful this all had been.
“I have done everything to make this happen and you had no trust in me, you choose this. Let's make that clear. This is your fault Jeff.” His voice began to tremble as he continued his monologue. “But…” He paused and bit his bottom lip, trying hard to push away the upcoming tears. “But I forgive you.” Then he smiled weakly. “Of course I do. You mean everything to me. Jeff…I…I meant what I just said. I love you. I love you so fucking much, you can't even imagine. And I know you eventually will love me too. You just have to give me a chance. You have to give us a chance.”
He couldn't help it but eventually the tears were coming on their own. Evan sniffed and wiped away the little tears. “Jesus Christ…I have to stop crying so much. That's not me. Look what you're doing to me Jeff.” He said and laughed softly. “However…we will get over this. Who said a relationship is always easy? Our love is strong enough to overcome the darkest of times.” Determined by that, Evan curled his lips into a pity smile, before he drew his attention back to his smoke which he simply ended by throwing the half smoked cigarette into a glass of water that was standing in the sink next to other dirty dishes. “You don't mind if I'm making myself at home, don't you?” Evan suddenly asked and glimpsed over his shoulder as if he was expecting an answer. “Of course you don't.” With this statement he opened the fridge to grab himself a beer or whatever liquor Jeff was hiding but instead of a nice refreshment, he was actually discovering something else.
A human head.
In an instant he closed the door again, just staring through the fridge, trying to figure out what he just saw. By any means Evan wasn't sensitive, quite the opposite. The graphic pictures and his own crimes weren't a big deal at all to him. But this was grotesque, even for him. Just to make sure he wasn't tripping, he opened it again just to disclose that he indeed wasn't hallucinating. Staring dead eyes looked back at him, the mouth wide open. Dried blood stuck to the cardboard the head was placed in and had runned down to the bottom of the fridge. Surprisingly there was no foul odor and the head seemed quite fresh. Slowly Evan squatted down, getting on eye level with the bizarre found, observing it carefully with a mixture of morbid curiosity and disgust. But the disgust was more due to the fact that Evan knew that Jeff had been sleeping around again - shortly before he had picked him up and that was bothering him. “This has to stop.” Frustrated he took a beer from the first shelf and slammed the door close. “You can't keep doing that Jeff.” He pressed his lips into a thin line and inhaled deep to calm his nerves. “It's fine you didn't know any better. We will get rid of it later and start fresh from the start. Doesn't that sound fair to you my dear?” He offered the unconscious man the beer apologetically by putting it on the table next to him, walked to the radio he had spotted before and began to fumble on the bottom, switching through the channels until he found some music playing.
“Now…” He chimed and took the Polaroid camera and a whistling tune began to play. “...it's your turn to pose for me, Jeffrey.”
>>You know I can′t smile without you
I can't smile without you<<
.
.
.
Jeff's head was spinning like crazy, a pulsating pain rhythmically throbbing and he couldn't grab a thought, couldn't bring himself to get up. Weakly he opened his eyes but they closed on their own asif his eyelids were glued together. It took him so much strength to open them and once he managed to, his vision was all blurred and like he was looking through a tunnel. He felt confused, even lost, not sure where he was but he felt something. Something that he didn't expect to feel right now.
Arousal.
All of his blood was pooling hot in his groin area, his cock hard and surrounded by something wet. Somehow he managed to lift his head slightly to discover what was causing the stimulating feeling, only to see a curly shock of hair bobbing up and down on his cock. That guy…what was his name again? Jeff couldn't recall it at first but eventually remembered.
Evan.
Evan was slurping and moaning, sucking his dick like he was trying to suck the life out of him. His tongue swirled around his tip, sliding down the shaft and back up through his slit. Jeff knew something was off, even though his mind was mashed. This was wrong, but still a weak moan escaped his lips as he felt the friction stimulating his basic needs. With that, Evan stopped in his movement and looked up to him with his mouth still full of cock. Then he let go of it with a loud and wet ‘plop’ and licked his grinning lips. “Shhh. Go back to sleep.” He just said and Jeff involuntarily did exactly that. There was no choice, his head just fell back, way too heavy to hold it up any longer and then he just drifted away, greeted by the darkness once again.
.
.
.
He woke up, covered in sweat, feeling a warm hand caressing his cheek and he heard a voice softly humming a melody. The thumb gently circled over his skin as if he was trying to sooth him. Jeff opened his tired eyes and felt his heart stop. Evan just hovered over him, his eyes opened wide in a psychotic manner and he was just staring at him. Intensely. It almost gave him a heart attack, he actually could feel the adrenaline lifting up his body in defence mode, but he was calmly pressed back by Evan and with his body still so weak, he won that fight. “It's okay.” He smiled but his eyes screamed of insanity. Evan looked straight up like a fucking psychopath! Jeff was sure he was about to be killed, he had to…he had to…again he fell unconscious against his will.
.
.
.
“Good morning Jeff…” A voice guided him through his awakening as he slowly began to feel his body again. With his eyes still closed, he moved his fingers, one by one, recognising he was still weak but his body seemed to respond again to his will.
“Good morning…”
The voice called again and only so slightly Jeff dared to open one eye but the moment he did so, he wished he wouldn't have. Undoubtedly he must have been stuck in a nightmare. His eyes met with huge dark holes and a bright smile - or to be more specific - he stared into the dead eye sockets of a skull, the yellowish teeth moving along the worlds: “Good morning darling, you're finally awake!” Jeff was sure he had died and now he was stuck in hell, being mocked by the remains of his victims. He screamed in fear and jolted back from the skull, until he realised it was Evan who was holding it, moving its jaw with every word he spoke as if he was performing with a puppet. “Hey! Be quiet! You don't want to wake up the neighbours!” Evan changed his voice in a different tone as he moved the skull's jaw.
“What the fuck?!” Jeff screamed at him and robbed to the other side of the couch. He was still confused and his body was aching, his head spinning. It was like a hangover but much worse, as he still had only so little control over his movements. But Evan just grinned and leaned closer with the skull towards Jeff's face, pretending it was speaking. The sight was absolutely ridiculous as Evan was not only acting very strangely, both men were also still naked. If this wasn't hell - it must have been a bad movie.
“What's wrong? Aren't you happy to see me?” Evan giggled but Jeff pushed the skull aggressively out of his sight and grabbed Evan by his neck, surprising and therefore overpowering him in an instant. His shaking hands wrapped tightly around Evans slender neck as he started to squeeze. The skull fell out of his hands, rolling over the beige carpet as they were fighting for dominance. The look on Jeff's face was bloodcurdling, his eyes were wide open in a manic way, the vein on his forehead popping out and throbbing. Helplessly Evan tried to push away the much taller man, trying to escape his grip but he had no chance.
“Listen…” Evan managed to gasp as he pulled on Jeff's wrist. Even though Dahmer's strength wasn't recovered, he was still stronger than Evan could ever be. But it was the reason he could free himself for a moment to scream from the top of his lungs. “IF YOU KILL ME, YOUR SECRET WILL BE BUSTED! I AM YOUR ALIBI!”
But Jeff just grabbed him again, pushing him into the cushions of the sofa. So Evan searched for anything he could find next to the table and happened to get a grip of the Polaroid camera and without even thinking about it he held it right next to Jeff's face, shot a picture and blinded him with the flashlight. “Argh!” Jeff jumped back and rubbed his eye in confusion as it all happened so fast. Evan saw his chance and got off the couch, running straight to the kitchen where he took a huge knife from the counter. Meanwhile Jeff was still rubbing his eyes, he couldn't really see very well without glasses.
Jeff’s eyes finally adjusted a little and he was about to follow but stopped when he saw Evan who yelled “STOP!” and waved the knife in the air defensively. Carefully Jeff lifted his hands, his eyes focused on the very sharp knife in Evan's shaking hands. It would be easy to convict him if Jeff would catch him at the right moment.
“Listen to me!” He repeated, the knife pointing at Dahmer from a safe distance. “If you kill me, your disguise will be blown! Everyone will know the truth about Jeffrey Dahmer the serial killer.” Jeff's body stiffened and his heart stopped for a beat as he was confronted with the thing he had kept to himself for so long. “I know it all Jeff. I know about the Polaroids, the skulls, the halcion…I've seen it all. And I'm sure you don't want to spend the rest of your life in prison, don't you? Also what would your dad Lionel say about it?”
Jeff opened his mouth in shock, trying to say anything but he was just so flabbergasted. How did he know his dad's name? How long has he been knocked out? It must have been only a few hours and Evan knew way too much apparently. “Bullshit.” Jeff scoffed. “If I kill you, no one will ever find out.” Confident Dahmer took a step forward, trying to intimidate the other. But Evan shook his head: “No. You have no idea who I am. I've been here before Jeff.” Confused, Jeff narrowed his eyebrows and asked:
“What do you mean?”
Evan sighed and grabbed the cigarettes next to him, pulled one out and threw the box to Dahmer who catched them with one hand. “Get yourself comfortable and let me explain.” He said and lit up the cigarette, still holding the knife in the other hand. To his surprise, Jeff took one cigarette out of the box and indeed sat down on the couch. “You’ll see this is all a big misunderstanding. I'm not your enemy, Baby.” Evan smiled at Jeff, who was still confused and clueless.
“I am your purpose.”
Chapter 7: Lay All Your Love On Me
Notes:
"I wasn't jealous before we met
Now, every woman I see is a potential threat
And I'm possessive, it isn't nice
You've heard me saying that smoking was my only viceBut now it isn't true
Now everything is new
And all I've learned has overturned
I beg of youDon't go wasting your emotion
Lay all your love on me"
Chapter Text
“Open uuuup ~” Playfully he lifted the spoon, happily shoving it towards the other's mouth, who moved his head aside with an annoying look on his face.
“Stop it Evan.” Jeff said angrily and his eye twitched but Evan wasn't having it, insisting that he had to taste the ice cream for himself, pushing the spoon against Jeff's stubbly cheek. “I said it's enough.” His tone became even more serious as he pushed Evan's hand aside.
Gutted Evan pulled back, looking at him in disappointment before his gaze turned dark. “Eat the ice cream. You're my boyfriend. And I want to have this happy moment with you right now.” Evan held the spoon with the melting mint ice cream in front of him, his dark brown eyes locked with Jeff's blue ones.
“Evan. I said no. Also we're in public. Can't you just be normal for once?” Jeff said sharply and focussed on his own dessert of strawberry ice cream, which he poked with the spoon without much enthusiasm.
Mint Ice-cream? Bleh.
Not only did he have no interest in acting all lovey dovey in public - Jeff was also not particularly adventurous when it came to trying out new things, especially not if it already sounded so disgusting and even more so when it was forced on him like that. Jeff was his own master. It was already bad enough that he had to play along with this charade. This sick and twisted bastard…Jeff thought to himself as he stirred the cold dessert into one mushy cream.
“Normal?” Evan scoffed. “You have to be kidding me. Do I have to remind you about your own abnormalities? Jesus, Jeff! I am just trying to be nice to you and you're blocking me like that. But fine, I can tell everyone about your normal life and normal hobbies and how normal it is to you to sleep around with other guys and fucking rape their dead bod-”
“FINE.” Jeff shushed him and covered Evan's mouth with his hand to keep him from talking. Insecure Jeff looked around hoping that no one had heard Evan's little emotional outburst. “Fine. I'll taste yours.”
Immediately Evan's angry, distorted face turned into a friendly smile, his eyes beaming up as he finally shove the silver spoon into Jeff's mouth. Evan inhaled satisfied, finally feeling like he had brought back harmony into this relationship. Gently he let his head rest in his hand as he watched Jeff's face warping in disgust. It made Evan giggle in happiness. “Don't you like it?” His eyes beamed. “Well that's fine, more for me!” He joked and took a spoonful of the mint dessert into his mouth. Jeff laughed along, but it was obviously fake but good enough for Evan apparently.
Jeff had figured out by now that he was completely nuts. Insane. This boy was severely sick in his head and now Jeff had to deal with this crazy bastard. It's been like two weeks now since their fight. Since Evan had told him about everything.
Evan claimed he had evidence all over his apartment and in case anything would happen to him, Jeff's disguise would be blown. Of course at first Jeff thought he was bluffing but Evan revealed that he knew almost every little damn detail about Jeff’s life. He had no idea that he had been observed and stalked for months. How could he have missed that? It was just frightening and Jeff didn't know what to do so he ended up agreeing on Evan's suggestion.
Apparently all he wanted was to be Jeff's boyfriend.
And Jeff always thought that was what he just wanted as well. A partner that was completely compliant and would stay with him. What Evan did. Since then he basically lived in Apartment 213, playing the perfect boyfriend, willing to do anything and everything for him. Which sounded too perfect to be true and of course there was always a catch. And it didn't take long for Jeff to realise that this was not what he wanted. First of all Evan was incredibly clingy, always searching for Jeff's attention and touch - and Jeff was not interested in wasting his time with taking care of others' demands, but he had to do exactly that because Evan's mood switched within seconds. Always starting to threaten him when he was not acting like he wanted him to. And that was the second reason this all was a complete disaster: Jeff hated to be controlled. It was HIM who should be in control.
And last but not least, Evan wanted sex. And Jeff simply couldn't give that to him. Not only had he severe performance issues when his partner was conscious, he also felt too much stress and even a dislike towards Evan right now to even do mutual masturbation or oral. Basically every cell in his body tensed and screamed to run away when he was around. His alarm bells were constantly ringing but Jeff had to endure it. Even though he acknowledged that he was exactly his type. Lean, cute and a beautiful face.
However the lack of sex obviously frustrated the other immensely. Of course Evan tried his best, offered to stay still, even suggested swallowing a few halcions but Jeff was simply not feeling it. And Evan was simply delusional, pushing aside that their ‘relationship' was based on the fact that he just blackmailed him into it. Certainly that made Jeff feel caged and watched, controlled and dependent on Evan. He hated it. And he hated those stupid dates Evan would insist on. Just like this one right now.
But he had to play along. But for how long? Jeff's urges to go out and meet fresh meat was incredibly high, but as long as Evan was around, he wouldn't let him.
If Jeff could just figure out where Evan lived so he could destroy the evidence and get rid of Evan. But the boy never had an ID with him, nor did they ever visit his place. He had the upper hand.
“Hey Evan.” Jeff suddenly loosened up his shoulders and put on a soft but fake smile. “I am sorry for being so groggy…How about I make it up to you and…spoil you a little.” Intensely he looked into Evan's eyes and placed his hand over his, caressing it tenderly with the tips of his fingers. “I could give you a massage…and suck your…you know…”
Evan's eyes fluttered, his mouth became dry all of the sudden and his soft dick began to tingle in his Jeans. “Y-you would do that?” He bit his lip trying hard to control himself. Jeff hadn't done that yet as Evan was so busy with trying to get him going but it was no use. His cock remained slack like a dead snake.
Jeff nodded. “Yes. I would like to make you feel good. I realise I have to put in more effort. You know this is all so new to me.” Jeff let his tongue glide over his upper lip, then he took Evan's spoon and took another taste of the disgusting mint ice cream to prove his point without making a face. Evan's heart made a little jump.
“We could visit your apartment…you could show me around your place, I would love to see how you live.”
Evan's smile faded as he quickly realised what Dahmer was trying to do. “Do you believe I'm an idiot?” Disappointed he pulled his hand back, crossing his arms. “You have to trust me Jeff. You're safe. Just don't do something stupid. You don't need to worry, your secret is safe with me. I told you that I'm your soulmate.”
The grip around the spoon became so tight that his knuckles turned white. “Sure.” He just said, suppressing the upcoming anger.
“Don't look at me like that.” Evan rolled his eyes in bother but chose to seek the harmony again. “Look. I understand that this all started a bit off…but I promise you won't regret it, just give us some time, baby.”
Time.
Something that Jeff already had so little and Evan demanded every damn second for him. He had to fix this situation… somehow.
“Jeff…please.” He begged and tilted his head to give him puppy eyes as Jeff wasn't really paying attention anymore. “What?” Jeff huffed in annoyance, now he was really getting on his nerves. How the fuck was he suppose to trust him? Just a moment ago he almost exposed him over some dumbass ice cream! Jeff would have loved to hold up a mirror to him and force him to reflect his own words, but Jeff knew for the better that he had to keep it down and play along. “Just let us enjoy the rest of the date.” Ultimately he couldn't hide the spite and sarcasm in his voice completely but he really tried.
“Sure.” Evan bit the inside of his cheeks. He could not let him get away with his behaviour, but he also didn't want to stir more drama but ultimately his impulsivity got the better of him.
“Kiss me.”
“Excuse me?” Flabbergasted, Dahmer sank the spoon in his hand. Strawberry ice cream dripped from it silently.
“Kiss me.” Evan repeated in a challenging tone. “You're my boyfriend and I want you to kiss me.”
As the realisation kicked in that he had no choice but to do as said, Dahmer froze. All of the sudden the place seemed more crowded than ever and everything inside of him told him to get up and run home. “Evan…please just let's go home. I'll kiss you, I promise but please -”
“I want you to kiss me right here right now.” It was not a question nor an option and Jeff knew that. His mind was racing, carefully assessing whether it was worth it or if he should just come clean and spend the rest of his life in prison, as long as he was safe from this maniac.
However Jeff decided to swallow his pride and leaned forward over the table, giving Evan a kiss on his minty lips.
Quick. Dry. And Loveless.
Straight away checking his surroundings if someone was looking at them. Satisfied Evan smiled but couldn't help it to push it further. “That was it?” A cheeky grin curled on his lips, Jeff's eyes widened in fear as he was afraid of him demanding more but Evan began to laugh. “I'm just messing with you baby.” However, Jeff's body was still tense and he felt highly uncomfortable, he really just wanted to leave finally. “Come on, let's get home.” Evan finally suggested.
.
.
.
A few days later Jeff woke up in the middle of the night, his shirt clung onto his skin, drenched in sweat. In panic he jumped up, holding tight onto his chest, filling his lungs desperately with air.
A nightmare.
Something that usually never haunted him despite his gruesome acts he had done before. But for a while now, since he knew Evan, he was now and then waking up distressed from bad dreams that involved him, running and running through the corridor of the Oxford Apartments but he never reaches the exit door. It's like he is glued to the same spot or like the hallway only gets longer with every step he takes. He never looks back, so he doesn't even know what he's running from but certainly he could put two and two together, so he knew it must been Evan. A metaphor for the trapped feeling that is now determining his life.
Jeff inhaled and tried to calm down, finally getting back to earth as he woke up. Carefully he looked to the side, Evan was still sleeping, all cuddled up in his sheets. His smooth skin was illuminated by the flickering light of the television. His face was relaxed and he looked all peaceful, even innocent.
Jeff took the opportunity to observe him a little longer, trying to figure out why he was still struggling with all of it. Obviously Evan was insane but wasn't he as well? It could not be denied that Evan was absolutely handsome, even out of his league - at least that was what Jeff told himself.
He was just average. Not really charming or talented. Just Jeff.
Shouldn't he be more grateful?
And still he couldn't enjoy his company.
His eyes wandered towards his neck where his carotid artery pulsating to his heartbeat. Just a precisely cut and Evan would bleed out within seconds. Approximately 5 minutes of squeezing his neck and he would be gone. It would be an exhausting fight, but Dahmer was sure he could easily out-power him and it would be less of a mess if he chooses strangling.
But unfortunately Jeff simply couldn't.
When he killed the other guys, he had no trouble objectifying them.
No names. No trouble.
He didn't know them, didn't know their story and that was essential for him to use them for his satisfaction.
And even though his feelings towards Evan were rather complicated - nicely said - he couldn't imagine now to harm him.
Or could he?
His patience was at an end.
However Jeff also knew that Evan's death could cause his life to be exposed. Something that became more of an option with every passing day.
As he was sunken in his thoughts he laid down to his side, face to face with Evan, his eyes still fixated on him as he reached out with his hand, stroking the other cheek almost lovingly.
God - he was indeed so very beautiful. If Jeff would have been just more aware, he could have just drugged him and used him like he planned on instead of being trapped in this hell.
As his thumb slowly brushed over Evan's soft lips, he let out a small sound and moved a little in his sleep.
“I wish I could love you.” Jeff mumbled before he turned around and switched off the TV.
Chapter 8: Maybe You're The Problem
Notes:
I think one more chapter to come and than we're done!!!
"But with you, it's always my fault
And your short fuse, just like a time bomb
And I think you should take a second just to look at your reflection
Baby, maybe you're the problem
Okay, you, you see a pattern
Your point of view, got it all backwards
You should take your little finger and just point it in the mirror
Baby, maybe you're the problem"
Chapter Text
The setting sun slowly bid farewell to the sky, bathing it in an orange hue. Outside, crickets were chirping, and the air was still hot above the asphalt.
The heat was stagnant in the car because the air conditioning was broken.
Evan and Jeff were drenched in sweat, it was dripping down in drops. Evan had to repeatedly peel his bare thighs off the seat to avoid becoming one with the leather.
“We’re arriving soon. I guess.” Evan's lips curled into a gentle smile, but the rest of his face was written by exhaustion.
“Hm.” Jeff just nodded apathetically. His gaze was stubbornly straight ahead, his hands wrapped tight around the steering wheel.
Evan looked him up and down before he drew his attention back to the window from the passenger seat. The last week's had been rough for both of them, fights were now common on a daily basis. Their relationship seemed to be in ruins before it had even begun. And Jeff didn't even bother anymore to hide the fact that he wasn't interested. Love, affection and Sex were a foreign words. And Evan? Evan didn't know what to do. The more Jeff pushed him away, the more he wanted to be close. However the distance grew and only blackmailing and manipulation kept the two together.
Anything but fulfilling.
But Evan also reached his limits. He, too, could only endure so much. So he decided to act and rented the car for a lover's weekend in St Louis. A change of scenery would certainly do them good and give them the opportunity to make a fresh start on neutral ground.
Far far away from home.
Therefore Evan had contacted Jeff's workplace, obviously without his knowledge nor permission, and used Jeff's rare free days for this opportunity.
Well, Jeff hasn't been amused, actually he has been furious. He accused him of making decisions over his head and interfering in his life.
Evan didn't understand - it was their life together, wasn't it?
Despite Jeff's tantrum, he had packed his stuff and accepted his fate.
And now they were on their way. Just Jeff and Evan. For two days.
To spend the time meaningful, Evan had bought two blue pills, so Jeff wouldn't be able to talk himself out of it. Just one of those magic pills would keep Jeff hard for hours. Lost in his thoughts, Evan grinned and it didn't go unnoticed. Jeff raised his eyebrows and looked at him suspiciously.
“Why are you grinning like that?” The tone of his voice wasn't amused at all.
“Oh, just because.” Evan cleared his throat and adjusted himself in his seat, again trying to free his thighs from the clingy leather.
“Now tell me.” Dahmer growled and rummaged around in the center console for his Newsport to light one up straight away. He absolutely couldn't stand it when Evan avoided his questions and played dumb. “You know I hate that.” Without taking his eyes off the street he blew the smoke out of the window, however most of it remained in the stuffy car, which wasn't improving the air quality.
“Well…I thought about all the things we could do this weekend.”
“And that would be?” Jeff asked without much spirit.
“You know…” He stammered now feeling insecure. “...sex.”
The awkward silence laid over them like a toxic vile and told more than words could ever. Jeff was just so tired of this topic. It ate away at his self-esteem and it made the whole situation twice as bad.
“Evan…” A warning.
“I know, I know…but listen to me! I got you something that could help you. If you take it then -”
“Are you out of your fucking mind? Did you seriously get me Viagra? Do I look like an old man to you?”
His fragile ego could barely take it, even if he knew that the erectile dysfunction was a problem he faced before Evan. A problem he was able to push aside with the help of Halcion, rape and murder.
“You know exactly what the fucking problem is! Don't try to fix me. There's nothing you can fix. I just don't get it…why don't you just find another random white guy who'd love to fuck you? By God, you're even crazier than me!”
Without realising it, Jeff increased the speed, his knuckles turned white from the force he held the steering wheel. All while he threw his fit. Evan sank deeper and deeper in his seat, tears forming in his tired eyes.
“Why me? Why are you doing this to yourself?” Weeks of frustration bubbled up, Jeff had enough.
Evan sobbed. “...because I love you Jeff.”
Jeff slammed on the brakes and stopped the car in the middle of the lonely road.
“Love?” The mocking in his voice burned into Evan's heart like an iron.
“Yes…” Evan breathed.
“This ain't love.” Jeff pressed his lips hard together, the vein on his sweaty forehead began to throb. “This can't be love.”
Evan grabbed his own chest hard, his fingers rugged into the clam fabric like he was trying to hold onto something. He felt like he was suffocating. Why was Jeff so gruesome when he gave him everything?
“Please don't say that.” The tears streamed down his face but Jeff didn't even look at him. He undid his seatbelt and left the car by slamming the door hard, the cigarette still in his mouth.
He had to calm down. Just get away for a damn second - which was impossible with Evan around. Of course he followed him straight away.
“Jeff…”
“No. Stay the fuck away. Just give me a goddamn second to breathe!” Jeff was shaking to his core, all the anger was coming to surface.
Evans' eyes grew dark and Jeff knew exactly what Evan was about to do again. Manipulate and blackmail him into behaving like he wanted him to - but Jeff wasn't having it:
“Fine. Then take the car, drive to the next phone booth and bail on me. Live up to your threats. I don't give a fuck anymore!” He opened his arms in defence. “You know what? Why don't you run that fucking car over me and give an end to this bullshit of life I have! I don't deserve to live anyways! Or maybe I deserve exactly this! Maybe you're my punishment for what I did!”
Dahmer pointed his finger at him, his eyes were wide open, sweat was running down his forehead and his blonde hair stuck to it in wet strains. The glasses crooked on his nose. Anything soft that was ever there was gone.
And it hit Evan deep. He stumbled backwards until his back met the car. He cried. Big tears runned over his flushing cheeks, his lips trembling.
Jeff saw him as a punishment?
“I can't do this anymore!” Dahmer yelled and kicked an innocent beer can that was laying there so hard that it flew over the edge of the cliff. Only after a few seconds did it hit the ground and clink.
Then Jeff turned around, pulled his hair and walked up and down like a caged tiger while he was mumbling something.
Meanwhile Evan had sunk to the ground, his arms wrapped around his knees while he was bawling his eyes out.
His heart was frozen.
“I…I just love you…please…don't say things like that…I need you Jeff….I-I need you to breath…” Evan's voice broke under the tears.
“Shut up! Just shut up!” Jeff approached him with fast steps and pulled him up to his feet. His fist clenched tight onto Evan's shirt, his face so close that Evan could smell his breath that reeked of menthol and nicotine. Evan's brown eyes were full of fear as he looked at Jeff's rage behind those glasses. Jeff wanted to scream: >>You took my life! You ruined me! You'll pay for it! I'll kill you!<< But none of it reached his lips.
He couldn't. Not when Evan looked at him like that. Not with those loyal brown eyes. Not with the tears rolling down his perfect face. Not when his kissable lips were bibbering like that….and not with the gun pressed right against his side.
It was now that Jeff realized that his words before have been nothing but empty. That his wish to die was just the lack of impulse control - he actually didn't want to die.
With the cold metal pressed against his sweat-soaked shirt, it finally was so clear.
“Evan…” He breathed out weakly. Everything inside him clenched and he swore he felt some drops of urine running down his legs.
“Y-you will step back. Calm down.” Evan was shaking, his index finger dangerously twitching above the trigger. “And than you will drive us to our destination. We will have a great weekend. You and me.”
Jeff's eyes widened. He couldn't be for real.
For a moment they stood like this, Jeff's hand still dugged into Evan's shirt, his face just inches apart from his. His body locked in fear and stress.
But it wasn't the first time in Jeff's life that he had a close call.
Something inside him switched from fear to control.
Just like it did when the police officer wrote him that ticket in 1978.
Instead of stepping back, Jeff's face grew soft, his blue eyes suddenly sad. His voice lost all its anger and in a soft tone he spoke: “You're not pulling the trigger.”
Evan inhaled sharply and pressed the gun closer - if that was even possible. But Jeff leaned forward, resting his forehead against Evans, breathing the same air.
Like on autopilot and without any further warning, Jeff pressed his dry lips against Evan's, tasting his salty tears and desperation. Of course Evan let it happen and leaned in, moving his lips together with Dahmer's with such tenderness. Evan moaned into Jeff's mouth when he pushed his tongue in, letting their tongues intermingle and explore. Even though he was surprised by it, he didn't questioned it and just hungrily kissed Jeff, slowly but surely letting his guard down. His body relaxed and the pressure against Jeff's side became less.
Calmly Jeff let his hands wander to Evans face, where he stroked his wet cheekbones and cupped his face.
The moment felt like forever and like real passion. Evan knew it. He knew Jeff loved him too.
Then Jeff broke the kiss, giving them both a change to refill the lungs with fresh air. He glared at Evan, sucking in everything he saw. His brown curls, his dark eyes, his swollen lips, wet from tears and saliva, and his overall beautiness.
Evan was indeed very beautiful. So beautiful that it caused Jeff pain.
What a waste.
Then everything happened fast.
Too fast.
Dahmer grabbed Evans wrist tight, pushing it away and caused the gun to land on the ground, sliding across the hot asphalt. Without thinking further, Evan reached out to push Jeff away, but the blonde was taller and much stronger. With such an ease he twirled Evan around and pushed him to the ground.
No dramatic fight for the upper hand. No bloody fists whatsoever.
And just like that, Jeff stood there, the gun pointing at Evan who straightened up on his feet again.
Automatically he lifted his hands in defence, his face in shock.
Unlike Evan, Jeff wasn't shaking at all when he pointed the gun straight to his head, with enough space to make it impossible for Evan to reach out.
Rule number one: Never get too close to someone you're pointing a gun at. Big mistake from Evan's side.
And unlike Evan his eyes were cold. There was no fear - just control.
“If you kill me, you'll be caught.” Evan said determined - as determined as possible - he was shaking like a leaf. The adrenaline rushed through his veins but instead of making him focused, it caused his body to tremble.
“Oh, is that so Evan?” Jeff asked coldly. He started to doubt his stories. “How can I believe you?”
“Then kill me and figure it out.” Evan challenged him, knowing he was playing with fire.
Jeff just laughed mockingly and shook his head.
“I don't wanna kill you.”
Evan's eyebrows raised in surprise.
“I just want you to leave me the fuck alone. And by God - I thought about blowing a bullet through your pretty head, thought about pushing you down this goddamn cliff.” He inhaled deep, his nostrils wide. “But I can't. I can't kill you. So just leave me alone.”
Evan blinked confused. “I-i can't -”
“You will.”
“Jeff, no, don't you understand? We're meant to be, we're -”
“STOP! Shut your damn mouth for fucks sake!” Dahmer yelled, his face twisted. “Lay down on your belly, face forward and hands behind your back.” Jeff commanded but Evan was frozen. “NOW!”
Slowly Evan sunk down to his knees, his arms still up in the air. Then he did as he was told and laid down, watching Jeff approaching the car, the gun always pointed at him.
Then he opened the door and sat down, still facing him.
“This is our last goodbye. You won't search for me. You won't contact me. If you wanna call the police on me, go ahead, I don't care. But…we won't see each other ever again.”
Evan could barely breathe. The words were like venomous poison. This was worse than death.
Dahmer was about to close the door but hesitated and looked at Evan. The coldness was still there, but there was a hint of pity or maybe even sympathy.
Like a peace offering he grabbed a bottle of water and threw it towards Evan.
“Take care.” He just said and started the car without looking back.
Still laying face down the street, Evan watched in pain how the car became smaller and smaller and eventually disappeared in the distance.
He had lost everything.
Chapter 9: Mr. Blue Sky
Notes:
I am sorry, it took me 1 billion years to finish. I struggled with this one more than expected. But now I'm free. I can rest now and upload my other one shot soon haha.
Thank you for staying, reading and supporting me. It means the world.
Thank you so much ❤️
Chapter Text
“Lunch time.”
Jeff jumped up and turned towards the voice. With tired eyes, he observed very closely what was thrown in front of him.
Carelessly arranged, there lay a plate of food. Battered noodles, a few mushy peas and some overcooked meat. On top of that, the guy pushed a carton of milk through the luke — a balanced meal…
“No human meat — wasn't on the menu today,” the man scoffed, giving him a devastated look. Dahmer didn't even bother — at this point he was used to the daily insults.
Still, his tense shoulders relaxed, when the footsteps moved away. However, it didn't mean he was now by himself — actually, another man sat in front of the glass cell, reading a newspaper as if he had no worries in the world. Jeff's eyes glanced over the headline. The front was plastered with pictures of a crime scene, and a huge, black and white picture of Jeff himself stared back at him. Underneath in caps:
“Convicted of 15 murders. 957 years in prison isn't enough!”
Dahmer sighed, turning away to keep studying the bible he was sent. He carefully marked some lines, trying to understand their meaning, creating parallels.
John 1:9;
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Jeff's Adams apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed hard. His eyes started to burn, reading the line for the umpteenth time.
Would God really be that forgiving?
Jeff had confessed, in every little detail — wasn't that some sort of redemption?
Jeff's already fragile faith was tested, and he wasn't sure if the amount of religious pamphlets that had been sent to him made it better or worse. It gave him comfort, but somehow also overwhelmed him. It was hard to believe for him that a man like him would be granted another chance.
What kinda world would that be, if you'd only had to to believe to undo your crimes.
Exhausted, he put his head back, inhaling deeply. His eyes shot open, staring at the ceiling, then wandered down to the little window of his cell. The thick bars blocked the already small view, a daily reminder where he was.
In a way too small cell in Wisconsin, Cut Off from the rest of the world — even cut off from the rest of the prison.
Solitary. Suicide Watch.
His only company was the prison guard in front of his cell, documenting every five minutes what Dahmer was up to.
It was ironic.
Jeff was so very lonely, yet he was never alone…
When the guard wasn't risking his job by reading the newspaper during work time, he was watching Jeff 24/7.
No matter if he was sleeping, eating it sitting on the toilet.
It was utterly humiliating.
Speaking of — the guard put aside his paper, writing something down.
“12:43 PM. Dahmer sits on his bed, reading. Lunch was just served,” he mumbled. Then he hid his nose back again in his newspaper, not paying attention to Jeff at all.
Which he welcomed.
Dahmer's fingertips gently brushed over the thin pages of the bible, lost in thoughts. Lost in the past.
If he wouldn't have been so sloppy. If he wouldn't have acted so risky….
Maybe he could have had a different life now.
It was pointless to rack one's brain — but Jeff couldn't help himself but be angry with himself.
Long story short — in the night of the 22nd of July 1991, one of his victims managed to escape. He ran out of his apartment, right in the arms of the police, and the whole house of cards collapsed in itself.
Jeff was exposed.
And now he has been in prison for seven months now, exhausted, and tired from all the trials, and interviews.
Exhausted, from knowing that this was it, knowing that there was no way out.
He'd be sentenced for 957 years — a concept he pretty much understood, but it felt like he was even convinced for the afterlife.
It's been a month since he got the sentence, and it was still heavy in his bones. Jeff was convinced that he would be sent to a medical facility, where he would have been studied and maybe even helped. Of course he didn't expect to ever see freedom again in his life — but he didn't belong here. He didn't belong in prison. He should have gotten the chance to understand his own sick mind.
But the judge decided otherwise.
And it was all his own fault.
He was granted a second chance — but Jeff had fucked it up, once again.
After he had left Evan on the street, Jeff drove home. And the second he entered his apartment, he grabbed the phone and dialed the emergency number. The signal was already ringing in his ears, the words laid on his tongue but then…
…he hung up.
His heart was pumping fast, and his knees gave in, shaking.
He really wanted to turn himself in — really. But the moment he tried, all his courage left.
Jeff thought it would be the only reasonable thing to do… before Evan would call the cops on him anyways.
But his fear got the better of him — he couldn't endure prison again… Especially not forever. Besides, he couldn't even stand the thought of his father's disappointed eyes.
So, he played poker. Hoping that Evan would not expose him, or wouldn't get the chance.
Because, Jeff planned to leave his old life behind, starting somewhere new.
New home, new job, new him!
This time, he wanted to make that change for real. He would destroy all the evidence, the skulls, the dried cocks, and the Polaroids. Anything that could cause suspicion. Jeff swore, he would change for the better, stop drinking alcohol, and start to visit the church again.
Apartment 213 would become a faint memory.
But, Jeff didn't put it into practice, and quickly fell back into alcoholism. Actually, he never stopped. He just thought about it, as he drunkenly got rid of another body, by breaking the joints, and detaching the lifeless arm from the cold torso.
No matter how hard he tried — he couldn't stop. He frequently visited gay bars, and took in willing men, always with his eyes searching for Evan — afraid he would hide in the shadows.
But he wasn't there. No police were called in to investigate.
Nothing.
And Jeff wasn't sure if the silence was making things just worse.
Jeff didn't trust it, but after a while, after enough alcohol to erase unpleasant memories, he felt the nightmare finally fade into dark smoke. Now, Jeff could completely give into his dark desires, into his compulsions that grew uncontrollably stronger.
Jeffrey Dahmer killed one young man after another. So many that they piled up in his shower. So many that the smell permeated the walls.
A loss of control — and the inevitable happened.
And now, he was not only a prisoner of his mind, he was also a prisoner of this institution.
Jeff grinned to himself, almost mockingly. Maybe he should have just stayed with Evan — maybe it would have stopped him from committing more murders.
He closed his bible, and paused for a moment. Then his eyes scanned the mushy food — his appetite was long gone.
Just a few weeks later…
The 957 years stood, the sentencing was over — but that didn't mean Jeff had made it.
Not yet.
The trial in Ohio, where the case of his first murder had to be resolved, was still pending.
One of the murders, that had tainted his whole life, and burned into his memory — like iron in flesh. The murder case that had been his downfall, the moment the barbell hit the poor young man's head.
A tragedy.
Jeff complied with the law — he had no choice anyway — and hoped for a quick resolution. He wanted to finally get the whole thing over with.
But, it wasn't all clouds and rain, at least he would see his father and stepmother again. A little ray of sunshine emerged from the dark veil of clouds.
Dressed in the green, prison clothes, he was guarded toward a black vehicle. Chained in handcuffs, and shackled to his feet, Dahmer trotted slowly towards it. One prison guard to each side, making sure Jeff couldn't make an attempt to flee.
Which was ridiculous — the moment he would even try to run, he would probably land on his nose. He was only able to make small steps with the heavy chains on his ankles.
So instead of even thinking of making an attempt, Jeff obeyed his fate to be escorted to the airport to fly over to Ohio.
The sun was high, beating down mercilessly on the desolate prison.
A few fellow inmates gathered at their windows, pressing their ugly faces against the bars. They cursed and whistled, but the further Dahmer moved away from the building, the more indistinct and irrelevant the insults became.
Jeff was pushed roughly towards the vehicle. The door opened and Jeff was placed inside, strapped with the security belt and of course — more chains.
Jeff tried to resist the urge to roll his eyes. They treated him like he was a danger, a monster, something to be afraid of.
Surely, he was aware of his crimes — but by now they should know that he was not interested in any more trouble.
“No funny business!” one of the guards warned, and gave him a disgusted look, before he slammed the door shut.
The serial killer observed, when a few more guards joined, talking and laughing about something.
Jeff could only hear fragments, but it sounded like they were making fun of him. Jeff was used to it by now, and somehow he couldn't blame them. It still annoyed him more than he liked.
Almost jealous, he watched them smoke, and how they let the toxic air eat into their lungs with relish.
Dahmer's body began to tingle. He was nervous, and could use a cigarette so badly right now. Anxious he began to chew on his inner cheek.
Assholes.
How they stood there and smoked a cigarette in front of him. Jeff grumbled to himself, annoyed at the lack of nicotine in his system.
Finally, they finished their little ‘coffee party’, and joined Jeff in the back seat. Two of them, one to either side of Jeff, while another one opened the driver's cab.
The scent of nicotine filled the car, it still hung to their clothes.
Silently, the plot began to move. The black van in which Jeff was sitting, with a police car in front and behind them as escort.
Jeff felt involuntarily famous — and he hated everything about it.
And so they drove through the midday heat, through the secured prison gate, past fields and livestock.
Jeff greedily took in everything, knowing full well that this was probably one of his last glimpses of freedom. He probably wouldn't see anything like it again anytime soon.
It wasn't long, however, before the peaceful silence was interrupted and Jeff heard a strange noise.
A deep gurgling sound, followed by a cough.
Jeff looked to his left. The guard looked unnaturally pale, sweat beading on his forehead. His hand was on his stomach, his posture tense.
Someone obviously had stomach problems.
Jeff crawled towards the other guard, completely automatically, as if he was afraid of getting infected or getting some bodily fluids on him.
However, he didn't look any better. His face was sallow, his sweat formed dark circles underneath his armpits..
Something wasn't right.
“Fuck,” one of the guards grumbled. “Pete, can you stop the car for a second? I think I need to —” He could barely utter a word, clutching his stomach. The gurgling in his intestines was now unmistakable, and the gases escaping from his body made Dahmer wrinkle his nose.
Sure, he was used to worse smells, still he didn't enjoy that particular one.
The other guard also began to speak up. He was gagging continuously, but nothing came out.
"PETE!" he cried in agony, writhing in pain.
No reaction.
The car continued unfazed.
"Uhm..." Jeff started to say something, but was immediately hit. "Shut the fuck up, Dahmer." One of the guards yelled, and was immediately hit by karma. He coughed violently, blood spraying at his feet. Shocked, he ran his hand across his face and then studied his blood-soaked hand in horror. It slowly trickled from his mouth and nose.
Now Jeff himself turned pale. Something was definitely wrong here.
"PETE!" the guard screamed in panic, but still there was no response. Jeff looked to the other guard, who hadn't made a sound for several seconds.
"Oh," Jeff concluded.
The man's eyes were wide open, staring into the void. Blood was also pouring from his nose and mouth, but he had fought his battle silently.
The man was dead.
The body leaned lifeless against the window, rocking to the rhythm of the undercarriage. "Hey!" Now Dahmer also shouted, trying to get the driver's attention. Jeff couldn't see much through the tinted window, and he wasn't sure if he could even hear him. "We need help! Emergency!”
In a panic, he turned to the living guard, who was using his walkie-talkie with his last bit of strength, only to discover that the device was broken. Jeff knew this was no coincidence – the guard seemed to realize this too and looked at Dahmer in shock.
They were under attack.
“Did you…?” he blurted out, and Dahmer immediately shook his head eagerly: “N-no! I don't!” Then the dying man spat blood a few more times before slumping forward onto the floor of the van and lying lifeless.
Jeff sat there frozen. He didn't dare do or say anything. For a moment, he considered taking the guard's keys and breaking free from the handcuffs, but if the others from the colony noticed the incident and Jeff was sitting uncuffed in the car with two corpses, that would only spell disaster for him.
There was no chance for Dahmer to get up, and knock on the window to alert the driver. He was still chained to the car seat.
Therefore he yelled: “Hey!” But for some reason the driver was still not responding. An uneasy feeling slowly began to creep in. Then, abruptly and without warning, the car made a sharp turn and veered off into a dirt road. The dead man, who had been leaning against the window, also fell to the ground, and Jeff would have fallen from his seat too if he hadn't been chained.
The car's speed increased, and it raced along the road. Concerned, Jeff looked over his shoulder through the rear window, and watched the police escort braking abruptly. The sirens blared, and they took up the chase.
And that's when Jeff knew whoever was sitting in the front cab was there to kidnap him.
Shudders went down Dahmer's spine. He knew many people wanted to see him dead threatening him to put him where he belongs — in a coffin.
As the thought spread through his mind like poison in veins, Jeff heard a dull bang and felt sound waves penetrating his body. He was pushed forward, by the power of it, but the chains kept him in his seat.
In panic, Jeff got up and looked around. Behind him was a huge, dark cloud of smoke, and the both police cars were burning — shut down.
A beeping sound echoed in his ears — luckily the bang was far enough away for him not to lose his orientation.
However, Jeff only knew he had to escape somehow.
Like out of nowhere, the radio started to play:
“Morning! Today′s forecast calls for blue skies”
But Jeff barely paid attention to that. He was too busy trying to reach for one of the guards in front of him, looting for the keys to his cuffs. With shaking hands, he successfully found them.
“The sun is shining in the sky
There ain't a cloud in sight
It′s stopped raining
Everybody's in the play
And don't you know, it′s a beautiful new day
Hey, hey, hey!”
With all that adrenaline in his body, it began to tremble uncomfortably — his palms became sweaty. The keys fell to the ground several times, until he finally managed to free himself from his chains. By then his skin was clam, and droplets of sweat ran down his forehead.
Relieved, he rubbed his wrists. The guards had always made sure that the cold metal was tight enough to cut flesh.
“Running down the avenue
See how the sun shines brightly in the city
All the streets where once was pity
Mr. Blue Sky is living here today!
Hey, hey, hey!”
In despair, he rattled against the car's door, which was closed, of course. Even if, it would have been pure suicide to jump out of the car.
So Jeff started to panic, realising he hadn't many choices left. Realising that this was planned, and that the guards were probably poisoned. And Jeff would probably be the next.
“Mr. Blue Sky
Please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?
Mr. Blue Sky’
Of course, while in prison, Jeff received many death threats and hate mail, but who would put in such an effort, and risk his own safety, to take revenge on Jeff? What kinda psychopath would be able to follow up with such a plan?
Oh.
Jeff shuddered. He thought of a person just like that.
A person who would do anything, absolutely anything.
“Hey, you with the pretty face
Welcome to the human race!
A celebration
Mr. Blue Sky′s up there waiting
And today is the day we've waited for
Ah, ah, ah”
Jeff stared at the tinted window, the driver was barely visible.
Instinctively, he reached for the gun that was still hanging from the dead prison guard. At that exact moment, the tinted window rolled down, and Jeff pointed his gun directly at the driver.
Now only a mesh fence separated them. The driver's cap was pulled down low over his face, but Jeff still recognized exactly who was sitting there. The soft brown curls and sharp jawline seemed very familiar.
The driver's soft lips curled into a smile.
“Evan…,” Jeff whispered, and lowered the gun.
“Mr. Blue, you did it right
But soon comes Mr. Night
Creeping over, now his hand is on your shoulder
Never mind, I′ll remember you this
I'll remember you this way!”
“Hey,” Evan said almost gently and turned back to the dirt road.
“What the hell are you — w-why — How?” Jeff stammered uncertainly. He wasn't sure whether he was happy or terrified.
Evan laughed. “How? Oh Jeff, once again you underestimate me. I have to admit, it wasn't easy, but with the right motivation, anything is possible.” Unbothered he sang along, like this was the most common situation ever.
“Mr. Blue Sky
Please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?”
"What are you doing? Do you want revenge?" Jeff grumbled, quickly realizing that the weapon in his hand was useless.
No ammunition.
“Revenge? Tss. What do you think of me?” Evan said mockingly, but then he became very serious and calm
He stopped the car right in front of a wooded area, took off his cap, and turned to Jeff.
Familiar brown eyes met blue ones, and to Jeff's surprise, Evan's eyes weren't filled with insanity or revenge.
They seemed sincere, deep, and hurt. Dahmer swallowed hard.
"I'm not here for revenge. I'm here to give you a choice." Evan spoke far too neutrally.
Before he could protest, Evan pulled some documents from his inside pocket and held them up to the bars for him to see. Dahmer recognized himself on the documents: an ID, a driver's license, and all the other fake documents with a different name.
"You can either stay here, lie on the ground, and wait until a special unit comes to collect you — don't worry, it will be obvious you had nothing to do with this kidnapping — or you can come with me. A few kilometers through the woods, we'll reach a road… there's a car. Everything's already set up; we just have to make it across the border. We can start a new beginning in Mexico.”
Jeff bit his cheek, unsure what to make of this. Had he completely lost his mind?
It was certainly tempting, because the thought of going back to that prison was tearing Jeff apart. But the idea of being Evan's prisoner was equally unsatisfying.
"Your call." Evan shrugged as if he couldn't care less. "You can either enjoy your freedom in the warm Mexican sun or crawl back into your little cell." Evan gave him a penetrating look over his shoulder. "What did you have for breakfast today? Oatmeal with vulnerable eyes?"
That hit way too close to home for Jeff.
“I don't believe a word you say,” Jeff said, gritting his teeth. He felt caught.
"I understand that. And you've every reason not to trust me. But what do you have to lose now?"
Evan took a deep breath.
"You know, after you left me lying on the street, I thought a lot. I thought about calling the police. I thought about getting revenge somehow, or convincing you to come back. But I kept my feet still. I didn't stalk you and try to forget you. But how could I ever forget you?” Evan's eyes grew sad, glistening with upcoming years he swallowed down. “And after seeing your face all over the news, something broke inside me.”
Jeff said nothing for a moment. He just rubbed his sweating neck. This wasn't real. Too clumsy to address the emotional side, Jeff only addressed what mattered for now: "Your plan is full of holes. They'll look for me everywhere, even in Mexico.”
Evan just laughed mockingly. “They won't.”
Without further explanation, he got out and ran straight into the woods. It took less than two minutes before he returned with a corpse, which he dragged across the ground by its feet. Flies had already settled on the lifeless body due to the heat, but the corpse still seemed relatively fresh.
A man who resembled Jeff in stature and hair color. Dressed in a green prison uniform.
Dahmer guessed what this was going to be, he automatically shook his head, not sure what to make of it.
Evan hesitated in front of the car door, looking through the window directly into Jeff's eyes, as if hoping to gauge his emotional state. Then he opened the door and looked up at Jeff almost innocently. He knew Jeff could overpower him if he chose to. But he also knew that Jeff was not a bad guy…not in particular…
Jeff just looked at him, barely able to believe it, this guy was absolutely crazy.
For a moment, his eyes lingered on Evan. The way his gaze rested on him, full of hope, his rosy lips slightly parted, his brown hair falling over his face, moving gently in the breeze.
He was still the most beautiful man Jeff had ever seen.
All this effort... he did all this just for Jeff...
The convicted murderer swallowed hard... no one had ever done so much for him... In an almost grotesque way, it touched him somehow.
"What are you doing?" Jeff asked. "And who is this guy?" His gaze fell again on the lifeless body, as he slowly stepped out of the car.
"It doesn't matter who this man is," Evan said, looking away, almost as if he were ashamed. He took a step back, giving Dahmer some space. Then he looked up at Jeff. "The plan is simple: we put your glasses on the guy — don't worry, I got you a replacement — we will put him in the car with the prison guards, and then we'll blow the car up.”
Jeff raised his eyebrows. "But they'll notice the driver's missing, right?"
"Well. Maybe I have the actual driver in the trunk," Evan said with a mischievous smile. Then his eyes became serious again. “And before you even ask — yes, of course they will realise this was a planned attack. But it will most likely distract them from the fact that the body isn't yours. And just to make sure…” Evan now kneeled beside the body, opening the mouth, revealing smashed teeth. “...I made sure it looks like you smashed your teeth due to the explosion. So they hopefully won't be able to tell that it's not you.”
Jeff just stared at him in disbelief, his mouth opening in an attempt to say something, but he quickly gave up.
"You just have to decide now... We don't have much time left. Soon they'll notice something's wrong, and then they'll release the helicopters. If we hurry up, we have a real chance." He paused for dramatic effect and looked intently at Dahmer. "Please. Come with me. You don't belong in jail.”
Uncertain, Jeff looked at the dead man and then back at Evan.
If he was honest, they both belong in jail. And maybe, Evan even more than Jeff…
"You know this isn't going to work out between us," Jeff said.
"I'm not asking you to stay with me once we make it across the border," Evan said, surprisingly, looking intently at Jeff. "But if you give me another chance, I'll try to do better. I promise. Please. You have to believe me. I'm trying to improve myself, I've read self-help books... I've even had therapy sessions.”
Wordlessly, Jeff looked around at all the bodies, all of which were Evan's fault. His look alone spoke more than a thousand words. Evan had probably managed to murder half as many people as Jeff did in his entire life, in just one day.
Jeff hovered somewhere between fascination and disgust.
On the other hand, who was he to judge?
"I know it doesn't look like it right now," Evan admitted meekly, rubbing his arm uneasily. "But I can't leave you here. I can't bear knowing you'll never get out of here again. Please, Jeff, I'm begging you, come with me.”
This was pure insanity, Jeff thought. Desperately, he tugged at his blonde hair and paced back and forth, step by step.
Step. By. Step.
Jeff stopped. He looked down at his feet, then at his hands, realizing he was no longer trapped. Next, his gaze went up to the bright blue sky. The wrinkles around his eyes deepened as he squinted, blinded by the sun. All of a sudden, he felt the gentle breeze on his skin, the rustling of the trees in his ears. He took a deep breath, filling his stale lungs with fresh air. And then there was this feeling in his chest. A feeling he hadn't felt in a long time. Something like excitement.
If he'd go back, he'd never experience it again.
Jeff looked over at Evan, who was eyeing him with false innocence. And Jeff's heart inexplicably stumbled. This guy…was something else. Jeff wasn't sure what to feel right now, it was utterly confusing and twisted.
Then he noticed Evan holding out a cigarette.
A Newsport. Jeff's favorite.
"It's time for you to make a decision," Evan said calmly.
Dahmer hesitated for a moment. In his mind's eye he replayed the events, remembering the time he and Evan lived together. The controlling behaviour, the outbursts, the forced love Evan brought in Evan.
But he also remembered how he woke up, Evan already awake, smiling at him like he was the most valuable thing in the world. How Evan made him breakfast every morning. And how it felt to hold his warm body, when he was asleep. How close it was to something Jeff always imagined.
Maybe it would be different this time?
And if not…?
Carefully, he took the cigarette and placed it between his dry lips. Immediately, Evan held out a lighter.
Their eyes met.
And as if in silent agreement, Dahmer leaned forward, just slightly, to light his cigarette. His eyes never left Evan's.
"Fuck it," Jeff grumbled and threw his glasses on top of the dead body.
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infinity_wishes109 on Chapter 9 Sun 06 Jul 2025 09:30PM UTC
Last Edited Sun 06 Jul 2025 09:31PM UTC
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