Chapter Text
They’re on an adventure and Pomni couldn’t be more pleased.
It’s nothing like Caine’s usual adventures. Today they’re playing patisserie. She’s pretty sure there was some sort of objective, but it’s just become a game of making up the most interesting and delicious looking desserts they can.
They keep eating and never get full. Caine went all out on the taste. He’d said he’d been experimenting with it and for once one of his weird experiments was a positive thing.
It’s probably the most fun Pomni’s had on an adventure.
“What are you making?” asks Gangle who’s leaning over from her chocolate cake she’s loading up.
Pomni doesn’t look away from her tower of puff pastry, mascarpone, and raspberries.
“Shh,” she hushes. “I require complete concentration for this procedure.”
Gangle giggles. “Well, it looks amazing.”
“That does look good,” Jax’s voice pipes up from behind her like a bad omen. “You should let me have some.”
“Don’t mess it up, Jax!” Gangle scolds.
Pomni works faster to preserve her pastry as long as she can.
“What is with this negativity? I just want to eat it with no regard for your efforts.”
“Jax!” Ragatha snaps from the counter space across from them. “Don’t be a menace!”
“Since when have I ever listened to anything you said?” Jax asks snottily, making Ragatha scowl.
He sighs. “Fine, I know when I’m not wanted. God forbid I want a little snack! I bet you don’t even care that I’m letting you know your shoelace is untied.”
Pomni instinctively looks down to check only for her face to be met with a cream pie. It’s cold against her face, sweet where some has gotten into her mouth. She pulls her face back and Jax absolutely loses it.
“Hahaha you look hilarious! I can’t believe you fell for that, seriously! Oldest trick in the book!” He hugs his stomach, laughing harder. “You don’t even have shoelaces!”
Jax finally takes his leave to go make trouble elsewhere, his bellowing laughter echoing after him.
“Oh my gosh, Pomni, are you okay?” Gangle asks in alarm.
Pomni looks at Gangle with her pie covered face for a long moment.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she says, starting to wipe it away. But she scowls a bit.
”At least he didn’t mess up the dessert,” Gangle comforts her.
Pomni just shakes her head.
As much as she likes Gangle, Pomni doesn’t want to get put in the same situation as her, bullied by Jax all the time. There’s only one way to go about this.
Time passes and desserts are made and eaten.
They’re starting to wonder when Caine will pull them back to the Circus when creations start getting interesting. Kinger is making some sort of statue out of chocolate and Ragatha makes way too much mousse. But it’s so good they can’t stop eating it.
It’s around then that Pomni makes her move.
She notes that Jax is off on his own, working on some creative endeavor. She picks up a bowl and starts idly mixing the contents. As she does, Pomni approaches Jax.
“Hey Jax—“
”SSSSHHHHhhh, shh, shhhh,” Jax hushes. “Ah-ah-ah!! Shut up. Science is taking place.”
Then he turns his head to look at Pomni from the huge log of dough he’s rolled.
“What do you want?”
Pomni sighs.
“Jax, I don’t know what I’m doing. What is this?” She gestures to the bowl. “I’m trying to make mille feuille, but it’s not—“
“You’re trying to make what? Also, how foolish of you to come to me for advice.” Jax looks pleased. Good. He leans in to look into the bowl. “What—”
That’s when Pomni thrusts the bowl up in a sharp motion and a whole bag’s worth of flour goes all over Jax, covering him from head to toe and making his overalls white.
She lowers the bowl and he slowly blinks at her from a sea of white.
“Ha-ha,” Pomni says flatly. “Now who looks silly?”
Jax continues to blink at her for so long Pomni wonders if maybe she should make sure he’s okay, but he finally reaches up to smear flour around on his face. It looks pretty funny.
Then Jax finally snorts, laughing as he shakes his head and starts to brush flour off himself. It goes everywhere. “Pretty good, Pom!”
He narrows his eyes at her with amusement, still splotchy with flour. “I didn’t know you had a knack for it.”
“Yeah,” Pomni says. “So you’d better watch out.”
With that threat in the air she turns and leaves, dropping the bowl off as she goes.
The adventure ends not too long after that but Jax stays out of her hair the remainder of the time. As they return to the Circus he does give her a sly look then a wink before slinking off, so Pomni expects trouble to follow.
But it’s nothing she can’t handle.
—
Even though Pomni had pranked Jax to avoid being a target for his misdeeds, she starts to wonder if she went about it the wrong way. Leading up to their next adventure she keeps seeing him just staring at her from a distance, no doubt scheming up something nefarious.
Now they’re gathering items in some enchanted forest and she’s keeping her guard up, aware that Jax is lurking around somewhere.
She’s just reached down to pluck a pretty flower for whatever they’re concocting when Jax strikes, leaping out with a, “Boo!”
A mixture of pre-existing hypervigilance and her scream getting caught up in her throat are the only reasons she doesn’t have a big reaction, but Jax doesn’t need to know that.
She turns a glare at him, hoping he can’t tell her heart is racing in her chest, head buzzing with adrenaline. “Can I help you?”
Jax hums, observing her like she’s a tough nut to crack.
“Oh don’t mind me. I’ll just be waiting here for the perfect time to strike,” Jax tells her breezily, like it’s not a threat.
“Time to– what??” Pomni can’t believe the audacity of his honesty. She crouches down and quickly plucks the flower she needs, looking at Jax suspiciously. She places it in a little basket.
“Aww, you’re like little red riding hood, look at you,” Jax teases. Then he puts his hands on his hips and leans in. “I wonder who the big bad wolf is.”
“Ha-ha.” Pomni narrows her eyes at him. “How about we back up? What do you mean, ‘time to strike?’”
“You know, my revenge!” Jax says with a playful roll of the eyes like she’s joshing him about not knowing. “I admit, you took me by surprise last time so now, I’m going to get you back when you least expect it. Oooh when’s it going to be, Pomni?”
He moves forward as if to pounce on her then laughs. “Aahh, it’s gonna be priceless.”
Ah.
Ah yes.
Pomni has made a mistake.
Pomni sighs, tucking her basket under her arm. “Look. I don’t want there to be trouble with–”
“A war.”
“What?” Pomni blinks.
“A war,” Jax repeats. “It’s not trouble, it’s a war. But do go on with what you were saying.”
Pomni suddenly gestures at him with her basket, displaying her willingness to use the soft wicker as a bludgeoning weapon.
“Listen, Jax. You might get away with treating Gangle like [BEEP], but I–”
“Have absolutely no power. Watch.”
Jax flips her basket into the air so it lands on her head, covering her face. Pomni just stands there as the flowers fall around her.
“See?” Jax tilts the basket up to look down at her scowling face. “You’re just so–”
And then he stares at her.
And stares.
“What?” Pomni deadpans, expecting his great revenge to come any second.
Instead Jax grins and reaches up, adjusting a flower so it's right on top of Pomni’s head. His eyes are oddly blown out suddenly.
“You should balance this on your head all day.”
“And why in the world would I do that?”
Pomni rolls her eyes and crouches down to pick up the flowers. She feels a hand on the back of her head pushing her forward until she’s on her knees.
“Hey!!” Pomni shouts in panic, suddenly on all fours.
And then Jax sits down on her back like she’s a chair and it takes all the will in Pomni’s body not to collapse under the weight.
“Stoppit–”
“Huh? Did you say something, Pomni?”
“Stoppit!!”
“Ohhh, Jax!” Kinger’s voice interrupts them and Pomni cranes her neck up slightly as he hops on over. “You wouldn’t believe the bugs this place has! Here, let me show you!”
Pomni glimpses Kinger shoving his basket towards Jax, opening the lid.
“Whoa!” Jax exclaims, shifting backwards and almost making both of them collapse to the ground.
“Would you get off, you’re heavy!” Pomni seethes.
“Ah!” Kinger shrieks, then leans down closer to get a good look at her. “Oh, Pomni! I didn’t see you. I didn’t know you doubled as outdoor furniture.”
“I don’t!” She snaps.
“Hey Kinger, you’ve actually got some pretty creepy crawlies in here,” Jax says, leaning in to look into the basket.
His weight suddenly lifts from Pomni’s back and she sighs in relief, his hand reaching out to snatch the basket from Kinger. “Let me borrow this, your royalness. Ragatha’s been looking in need of a good pick-me up.”
Jax titters maniacally, carrying off the basket. “See you around, short stuff!”
Kinger and Pomni watch him go, then Kinger points to himself. “Gee, I never thought of myself as short.”
“Uh huh,” Pomni grunts, a little peeved by this new development.
Kinger reaches down to help her up. “I like your new hat.”
“My-” She reaches up, touching the flower that’s resting on her head. “...Thanks.”
Pomni pulls it off her head, putting it back in her basket.
Kinger looks into her basket curiously as she starts to gather her flowers. “Wow! Look how much you’ve already collected! You should see what I found-”
He looks down to his empty hands, staring for several seconds before giving a cry of surprise and looking around in a panic. “Where did my insect collection go!”
They can hear Ragatha screaming in the distance. Pomni groans.
“What did I get myself into?”
She’ll just have to have a stronger constitution than Jax.
Especially if this is a ‘war.’
—
During the next adventure, Caine leans heavily into the fantasy. Nobody asked him to do it, in fact they’ve asked for fewer dragons in general, but when the request was made Caine had simply said he was ‘jonesing’ for fantasy and pushed them through the portal.
Now they go single file in a parade. Ragatha is a Dutchess, Kinger is some sort of sorcerer, and Gangle is a pageboy. And Pomni is a princess in a ridiculously huge dress. Jax is a palace guard whose ‘place’ is behind Pomni, supposedly to keep her safe. She does not feel safe.
“Princess!” cry the NPCs as Pomni passes on a horse that looks like it’s made of plastic. “Look at the beautiful princess!”
“This is a farce,” Jax speaks up, drawing Pomni’s attention. “Why are you a princess? You’re clearly a jester.”
Pomni ignores him.
“Pomni. Pomni. Pomni.”
She continues to ignore him.
“Pomni. Pompadour. Pomeranian.”
Pomni glances back, brow furrowed. “What do you want.”
“I want to tell you that it’s a farce that you’re the princess. You’re clearly a jester.”
Pomni rolls her eyes back up front, but honestly she’s really nervous about this whole ‘Jax randomly attacking her’ thing. It just puts a bad taste in her mouth.
The parade finally comes to a halt in a wide open outdoor area where a generic NPC with a bushy beard steps forward in front of the crowd. “Today is a most joyous occasion! For we are to see our beloved princess finally claim her birthright and be crowned as Queen!”
The words are followed by a ton of cheering.
Is Pomni going to have to go up in front of a big crowd? No one ever said anything about that!
She struggles to get down from her horse and Jax immediately shoves back Ragatha when she attempts to assist. “Hold on, I’ve got this.”
The grin he gives Pomni as he reaches up for her makes her pull back. “Hold on, wait a second. What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to help- Where is this suspicion coming from?! You really think I’d just like, throw you or something?”
When he says it like that-
“You totally have before!” She snaps.
“And I’ll do it again!” Jax exclaims like it’s some kind of ‘gotcha’. “But not this time.”
There’s suddenly the clap of thunder, the sky darkening as a scraggly looking witch appears in the middle of everyone, cackling.
“Not so fast, Princess! You won’t be seeing out a single day of your new reign! Instead you’ll be the main ingredient to the spell that will make me young and beautiful forever! And no one can stop me!”
She cackles again, extending out her hands and sending out a beam of magic.
Pomni feels a grip on her and then a strange weightlessness as the spell hits her.
Everything goes bright and then she opens her eyes, noticing she’s now in some kind of dingy dungeon with-
Jax is holding onto her wrist.
“What did you do?!” she cries baselessly, even though on some level she knows Jax didn’t really do anything.
Jax gapes at her. Then he pulls his hand away to place it on his chest like he’s been wounded. “Me?!”
“Yes!”
”Me?!?!”
“Yes!!!”
They stare at each other in a stalemate.
Then Jax crosses his arms behind his head and shrugs. “The witch is to blame, not me. Shame on you.”
He looks around at the dungeon.
“Weird it just transported you and me, right? Like, where’s the horse? You were technically touching the horse.”
“Jax.”
“Can you imagine? Just you, me, and a horse in this little cell?” Jax grins over at her. “Sounds cozy.”
“Uuuugh.” Pomni rubs her face, smearing the make up she didn’t realize she had on. “What is this bull[BEEP]?!”
“Language.”
“Was I just supposed to stay in here the whole time? Huh?? While you all go off on adventures?!”
“I’m sure that Caine– I mean, yeah, probably.” Jax shrugs. “But now we get to rot in here together.”
“How is that a good–” Pomni looks down at Jax’s sword. Then the rusty lock keeping them in. “Hey, see if you can get the door open.”
“Listen, Pomni, you may be the princess in this world, but that doesn’t mean I have to do what you say.”
“Oh, okay,” Pomni says, throwing her hands up. “Then let’s just sit here til the game is over! That’s fun for you right?”
“Good point.” Jax pulls out his sword and with one solid whack, he obliterates the lock. “How do you like me now?”
“Let’s go,” Pomni says, hiking up her skirt and starting to walk.
Jax follows. “Pomni, I said ‘how do you like me now.’ You have to answer.”
“Usually that phrase is rhetorical,” Pomni can’t help but nitpick as she walks past an entrance to what must be a sewer.
“Yeah, well it wasn’t this time. How do you like–”
“Ew, this place is disgusting,” Pomni interrupts. Then she looks at Jax with narrowed eyes. “If you prank me down here, I’ll kill you.”
“You don’t have the guts,” Jax snorts, swinging his sword around expertly despite not being an expert. Pomni hopes he lobs off one of his own limbs. He just has her so on edge waiting for him to strike. “What’s that look for?”
Pomni looks away. “Nothing. Let’s just try and find our way out of here.”
“Hey, Pomni.”
Pomni feels a tug on the hair poking out of one side of her hat. She yelps, but then is suddenly set free.
Only to look over and see Jax has cut about an inch of her hair off with his sword.
Pomni gapes at him in shock, reaching up to touch the blunt cut hair.
“Ha!” Jax laughs. “Now you’re asymmetrical.”
Pomni loses it. She grabs Jax’s wrist, grappling with him in her fancy dress.
“Woah, she’s fighting back, ladies and gentlemen.” Jax holds her cut hair out of reach. “You want this back? Gonna glue it on?”
“I’m gonna make you eat it!” Pomni insists.
Just then there’s the distant, phantom sound of a roar.
Pomni squeaks and hides behind Jax on instinct. “What was that?!”
“I dunno,” Jax says, sounding chuffed as he throws Pomni’s hair up in the air like confetti. “We should ask.”
Then Jax takes a huge breath and bellows, ”HEY YOU!!! Yeah, you, down the hallway! What are you? Some kind of big, ugly monster?!”
Pomni gapes up at him. Jax grins down at her.
There’s another distant roar then what sounds like the shuffling of a thousand feet at once.
It sounds bad.
“Okay, maybe it is a big ugly monster,” Jax concedes.
“So what, tough guy, you planning on fighting it?!” Pomni asks in a panic.
“Nope, now we run!” Jax grabs hold of her and begins to sprint off in the opposite direction.
Pomni is being half-dragged about half the time, relieved when he finally slows to take big panting breaths.
“What is wrong with you?” Pomni demands of him.
“Excuse me? I just saved you. You should be grateful.” He tsks.
“I’m definitely not grateful,” Pomni tells him bluntly. “You’re a terrible guard. My first decree will be to fire you. Out of a canon.”
If they have them in this vague time setting.
“How could you?! I’m the only one helping you,” Jax protests.
“You literally don’t know that, the others are probably trying to rescue me right now,” Pomni tells him in a dead-pan tone.
That only makes Jax look more agitated for some reason. “Nuh uh.”
Pomni’s eyes narrow. She’s not sure why, but she pushes it. “Yuh-huh, they are.”
“Why do you care if they’re trying to rescue you?” Jax asks. Then he scowls and turns on her, holding his sword up in her face.
“Hey.”
Pomni stares at the sword, a little cross-eyed to do it, then looks up at Jax. “... Hey?”
Jax gestures with the sword. “So who is it?”
Pomni doesn’t get it. “What.”
“Who is it you wish was here with you instead?” Jax interrogates her, moving the sword in a poking motion like he’s going to pop her head like a bubble.
“What…?” This has got to be some sort of setup to a joke or a prank and whatever it is, Pomni isn’t having it. She crosses her arms. “I dunno, maybe anyone who’s not trying to bring about my doom?”
Jax scoffs. “Doom, she says. Doom. You’re so dramatic.”
He looks so put out. Pomni feels like she’s missing something but cannot for the life of her figure out what. Jax glares at her defensively and she wonders what the [BEEP] his damage is.
“Look, can we just go?”
“No,” Jax insists. “We stay right here until you answer me or we get eaten. Whichever comes first.”
Pomni rolls her eyes. “What was the question again?”
“Who do you wish was here with you!” Jax insists. “You remembered, you just wanted to make me say it again.”
“Wha– okay. My answer is everyone. I wish everyone was–”
“Wroooong!” Jax cries. “Wrong, wrong, wrong. It can only be one.”
Pomni squints at him. “What are you… actually asking me?”
Jax stomps his foot. “Stop being so stubborn.”
Pomni is at a complete loss. Then she sighs. “Come on, Jax. Let’s just go.”
“That’s Sir Jax to you,” Jax says bitingly, clearly offended by something as he walks past her.
Pomni rolls her eyes and hikes up her skirt, following after him. It’s already dirty on the bottom.
They enter a large circular room with a single huge statue in the middle. It’s some sort of super buff minotaur.
Jax hoists his sword up onto his shoulder, nearly slicing through Pomni as he does so.
“Jesus,” she snaps at him.
“I know, right?” Jax muses, still staring up at the statue. “Wow, it’s kind of sexy.”
“I… guess?” Pomni squints up at the statue. It is indeed oddly sexy. She doesn’t know how to feel about it.
Jax glares down at her.
“Yeah, I bet you like big muscley guys. Wow, you’re all the same.”
“Wha…. who is the same?” Pomni looks up at Jax in nothing short of wonder. What the [BEEP] is he ever talking about?
“Whatever. It’s not that hot, Pomni.”
“You’re the one who said it!”
“Yeah, but you agreed with me,” Jax scowls.
“Yes, I agreed, because it’s weird that it’s sexy!” Pomni exclaims, at the end of her rope.
Jax looks ready to argue further but then there’s a cracking sound and they both look up at the statue, which has come to life.
It throws back its head and lets out a roar that has them backing up slowly.
“Looks like your boy-toy wants a hot date,” Jax grumbles.
“Would you just- Eep!” Pomni cries out as the minotaur lunges at her.
It must be under the control of that witch. Just great.
Jax grabs her hand and they start to sprint again and Pomni has to wonder why she’s got to feel so tired when they’re in a digital space.
Despite Jax’s long legs and speed the minotaur continues to gain on them, growing alarmingly close second by second.
“We’re not going to make it!” Pomni cries out.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got just the thing!” Jax starts to grope around his clothing as they run, finally pulling out-
“A- banana peel?!” Pomni exclaims in disbelief. They’re toast.
Jax tosses the peel just as they turn a corner, the two still running when there’s a sudden, loud crash.
They pause to look back, noting that half of the minotaur is now surrounded by rubble.
The two cautiously go back to see that the minotaur has busted through the wall, now unconscious on the ground with little birds and stars floating over its head. The banana peel lays on the ground like an innocent bystander.
Did that seriously work??
“Ha! See? I had it under control this whole time.” Jax nudges her with a laugh. “That was meant for you, you know.”
“What was?” Pomni asks blankly.
“The banana peel. Classic,” Jax says with a sigh.
“Oh for–”
Pomni doesn’t get mad. She can’t get mad, because if she does her head will explode.
But then she does get mad.
“You were going to get me with a banana peel?!”
Jax just laughs harder, walking through the rubble to the other side. “Hey, look at this!”
“Hold up!” Pomni follows after him, stumbling a bit as her big poofy dress gets caught on the minotaur’s horn. “Aah!! Jax!”
Jax turns around and snorts at her. Then he comes back over and starts tugging her dress free. He kicks at the minotaur’s head.
“Stop looking up her skirt!”
“Jax, what– ew!”
“He is!” Jax insists. “I saw him! He’s pretending to be unconscious.”
Pomni finally gets free, smacking at Jax’s hands on her dress for good measure despite asking for the help, and walks through to what appears to be–
“Is this… the castle kitchen?”
“You don’t know that,” Jax says obstinately.
“I mean…” Pomni points at a huge cake on display next to a table of all sorts of baked treats. “It says, ‘Happy Coronation Queen Pomni’ on it, sooooo….”
“Huh.” Jax sheaths his sword and puts his hands on his hips. “Would you look at that.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Pomni insists. “Is the witch taking over the palace? I thought she was just using me for a spell. Why were we kept here?”
“Oh, who knows,” Jax says with a shrug. “Maybe Caine was just preserving space.”
“Preserving space—? He makes the most elaborate [BEEP] unsolicited all the time!” Pomni cries.
“Language,” Jax says, walking over to a pile of fresh fruit and pointedly picking up a banana. He unpeels it and takes a bite. “Wellll, your highness, I’ve returned you safely to the palace walls. I say we feast and if anyone starts sniffing around over here we’ll sneak out the window and call it a day.”
Pomni scowls at him. Then her expression softens. It’s not a bad idea, honestly, and she’s just glad the minotaur situation has been taken care of. She looks around at the treats, finally picking up a lemon bar and nibbling on it. She pouts a bit.
“Caine didn’t put as much effort into these as the baking adventure.”
“God, you expect so much from him!” Jax takes another bite of banana. “Leave poor Caine alone!”
Pomni rolls her eyes and starts wandering around the tables. Jax follows suit and soon they have little plates of food piled high.
“Oh man,” Jax says with a low whistle. “They have pudding over here. You want some? It looks really good.”
Pomni can’t help but be tempted and turns, heading over to Jax and–
“Waaagh!!”
Pomni cries out as she slips and falls onto the ground, suddenly covered in snacks, and then just as she’s starting to comprehend what happened–
The banana peel she evidently slipped on falls back down and comically lands right on her face.
Jax bends over, slapping his knee and crowing in delight as Pomni smacks the peel away.
“I can't believe you saw me throw one earlier and still fell for it. Classic!”
Pomni pulls herself up by the table and starts hollering at him incoherently.
“You big stupid– you [BEEPING]-- you absolute jerkwad with a deathwish, I’m gonna–”
Jax just laughs harder.
Oh, this guy has to get what’s coming to him.
“And here I was thinking of giving you a reward!” Pomni cries.
That has Jax restraining himself, suddenly looking over with pointed interest. “Oooh, a reward? What kind of reward? One worthy of your big strong guard?”
He struts over, looking down at her curiously. “You going to line my pocket with fake jewels? Offer me power I can’t actually wield? Make me a cake?”
Pomni considers her slapdash plans as she straightens up. This had better work.
She lowers her eyelids a bit, glancing away almost demure. “I was thinking–”
“Wow, I really made your hair asymmetrical,” Jax says, reaching up to play with the side he cut. “You look like a little fool.”
Pomni considers biting his hand. “I was thinking...”
She has no idea if Jax will fall for this, but he should at least play along long enough to get the job done.
“... a kiss,” she says finally. “Like– a good luck thing for knights.”
“Oh you’re offering a smooch, are you? One of the perks of the job?” Jax asks, suddenly smirking.
Pomni worries that maybe it’s too obvious but Jax seems genuinely chuffed, maybe more intent on making fun of her than sniffing through her tricks.
Jax’s smirk grows and he leans over. “What, just looking for an excuse? Did I wow you that much with my quick thinking and bravery? If it means so much to you-”
Pomni crosses her arms, looking away. “Well I was going to but now I’m not.”
Jax snorts, leaning down further towards her. “No, no, don’t let my dazzling personality put you off. Go on, Pomni, lay it on me.”
Pomni fights the urge to scowl. But he's going along with it.
Pomni looks up at him and blinks her big eyes. She watches as Jax's eyes slowly dilate until they're almost completely blacked out.
Huh. Weird.
No time to think about it, though.
She leans up and starts to close her eyes. "Jax...?"
Jax is silent for a moment, just looking at her. Then, in a strangely stilted voice he says, "Yeah?"
He leans closer until Pomni can feel his breath.
"Think fast," she says.
And then Pomni scoops up a pie off the table, backing up and slapping it into Jax's face.
Jax makes a muffled sound of shock from under the pie, the crust and tin slowly sliding off his face and to the ground.
Jax is so unresponsive it starts to make Pomni worry. Is he mad? She gets preemptively defensive. How dare he after making her slip on a banana peel?
But when Jax reaches up to wipe the pie from his face he doesn't look angry.
He's looking at her like he's dazzled.
Jax's shoulders start to shake, and then he starts to laugh. "Wow, Pom, I have to hand it to you. You really are a natural at this kind of thing!"
He sounds so pleased about it.
Pomni hates that she feels a little relief.
"Exactly," she says. "So don't get it twisted. You might be able to get me with a banana peel, but I will bring down a wrath like you have never experienced."
Jax just laughs at her. Pomni huffs. "How does it feel, Sir Jax? I win."
"Hmm," Jax hums like he somehow disagrees, though Pomni isn't sure how he could possibly see himself as the winner in this scenario.
He nods at her slowly, reaching out to grab a cloth to wipe his face off. "You know, Pom, as fun as it is for us to keep this little prank war going, I think we're really missing out on a bigger opportunity here."
"Which is...?" Pomni asks a little warily.
Jax kneels down in front of her, taking her hand. "How would you like to team up with me? Be an unstoppable duo causing mayhem and mischief to keep everyone on their toes."
Pomni looks down at their hands. Then back up to Jax's face.
"Wait, what?"
Jax's grin widens. "You heard me. Join me in my reign of terror."
Pomni's eyes grow heavy lidded, unamused.
"You made me slip on a banana peel."
"Uh-huh."
"You pied me in the face."
"Which you returned with much glee in your heart," Jax says. "C'mon, Pom, team up with me."
"No."
"C'mon."
"No."
"C'moooon."
"Yes."
Jax looks thrown off, then gives her a wicked smile. "Really?"
Pomni shakes her head. "No. I was just messing with you."
"Well then," Jax says, standing up and swinging her hand back and forth. "You'd better watch your back. Because until you join me, I'll prank you."
"Well then you're gonna be pranking me a long time," Pomni scolds. "Because it's not gonna happen."
"Oh you say that now."
Jax gives her a boop, right where her nose should be. "You'll come around."
His spirits have never looked higher as he pulls back, grinning down at her. "Just you wait, Pom. We're gonna do big things. Big."
With a final look of mischief he pulls away, turning back towards the food. "Now let's stuff our faces while those losers try to rescue you. "
Pomni sighs, shaking her head. She's not sure if she's worse or better off than she was before but she supposes she'll find out eventually.
Jax is piling up a plate when he suddenly pauses, whipping around and giving Pomni a devious look.
"Listen," Jax starts.
Oh god what will it be this time
"I know you're 'not interested' in teaming up with me but what about one tiny little team up. Itty bitty."
Pomni just stares at him like he must think she was born yesterday to agree to that.
His grin widens and he sweetens the deal, "The target would be the witch."
Pomni scrutinizes him.
The witch, huh...
That sounds… harmless.
"What did you have in mind?" she asks like an accusation.
"I was thinking like, dump a bunch of food on her or something. You know, let her know how rude she's being."
It sounds so harmless that Pomni knows he must be holding back to tempt her. It's working...
He wags his eyebrows up and down. "What do you say?"
Pomni looks at him doubtfully.
"Just the witch?"
"Just the witch," Jax says, putting his hand over his heart.
It's harmless, Pomni thinks to herself as she gives in and says, "Okay."
And doesn’t that have Jax looking pleased as punch. “You won’t regret it, Pom.”
Promises, promises
But Pomni, despite it all, can’t help but find it a little funny.
—
“Welp,” Jax says. “That backfired.”
“Noooo,” Pomni says. “Really?”
The two sit at a huge table where a feast is taking place in celebration of Queen Pomni’s coronation. The day has been saved!
Only Queen Pomni is covered in her cake.
So is Jax.
“Whaaaat, how was I supposed to know the witch would have spells she would use against us? Grow up.”
Pomni just glares at the food on her plate like it’s done her wrong.
“Aw, come on, Pomni. Don’t be sad.”
“I’m not sad!!” Pomni throws her arms in the air. “I’m [BEEP]ed off!”
That has Jax throwing his head back and having a hearty laugh at her expense, but part of it is she’s just so darn cute. Getting all worked up and grumpy over it even though she’d happily participated up to when things had gone wrong.
Pomni really does have a knack for it. Maybe this was a step back in her eyes for how much she enjoys it, but it hasn’t come close to knocking the stars out of his.
“Cheer up, cream puff! At least you’re delicious.” He swipes up some frosting on her dress and eats it while Pomni continues to glare.
“I’m definitely going to find a way to pie you again,” she threatens to his immense delight.
“Ooh, I hope you try.”
Jax just laughs as Pomni picks up some cake and tries to shove it at his face.
Maybe she doesn’t want to be part of an unstoppable pranking duo today, but he’ll definitely win her over yet. And when he does, they’re going to be so funny together.