Chapter Text
Jayce arrives to the lab in the evening to find Mel and Viktor sitting on lab stools, hunched over and whispering back and forth. Neither has noticed him, as they talk in hushed, low tones, and from the doorway, Jayce can see how pinches Viktor's eyebrows are. He rarely sees this expression on Viktor - something is troubling him. By the look of the conversation, it's something serious.
“Are you guys conspiring against me?” Jayce teases, hoping to lighten the mood and hide his own nerves. They don’t seem to be arguing, but whatever they’re discussing, it’s not good.
"No, no, just… patent things I had to square away with Viktor. Did you know he has no last name? Makes it awfully difficult to identify him,” Mel says easily. She smiles, but she's not even trying to make it look real.
Jayce quirks an eyebrow. “Yeah? We’ve talked about this. After I tried putting his name first, and that caused some… confusion about our partnership.”
“Right! Yes,” Mel agrees too easily. She stands up from her stool, brushing nothing but air off her dress. She starts to walk out of the lab, stopping Jayce from even trying to have a conversation. "I really should be getting back to work then, if that's all sorted. Let me know if you need anything from me, Viktor."
“Well, that was weird,” Jayce comments, turning back to Viktor, “What were you guys-”
Viktor gets up suddenly, pushing off the table to stand. "We must talk. Walk me to your apartment."
Jayce snaps his spine straight. He can usually trust Viktor to get right to the point. A change of scenery? Leave the lab? The absurdity puts Jayce on edge. They don't just leave the lab. They never leave the lab. Jayce literally has "cry session" penciled in on the lab calendar for every Saturday. He does paperwork here. Unless he's at the forge or Mel pulls him away, any business he has is in the lab.
“Is everything okay?” Jayce asks, sharing his nerves openly in his expression.
Viktor gives him a contemplative look, and Jayce watches his lower lip as Viktor's tongue runs along his front teeth.
“Depends on your definition of ‘okay’. There’s nothing wrong with hextech, if that’s what you mean.”
So, it’s personal. But why would Viktor tell Mel before him? Did Mel need to be prepared for Jayce’s reaction? Jayce’s blood runs cold, and he suppresses the urge to demand that Viktor tell him right now. He trusts Viktor - or wants to, logically knows he can. If Viktor needs to be at his apartment before he'll talk about it, that’s where they’ll go.
They walk in silence, but the rhythmic tap tap tap from Viktor’s cane is a familiar comfort. When they reach a set of stairs, Jayce offers his arm to Viktor for support, and Viktor takes it without complaint, allowing Jayce to help him when they both know he’s capable himself, with only a small bit of discomfort. Viktor's indulgence in Jayce's need to help is alarming.
Jayce is tense as he turns the key to his apartment, and Viktor strolls in with an air of chalance. He sits down on the couch and pats the seat next to him. Obediently, Jayce follows.
"Mel became aware of a sensitive allegation that was reported to a newspaper recently," Viktor finally gets right to the point, and all of the air exits Jayce's lungs in relief.
Jayce's body melts back into the couch cushions.
"Oh, is that all? God, Viktor, I thought you were going to tell me you were dying."
Viktor sighs, but he's not relaxing with Jayce. He should know that Jayce doesn't care what tabloids say, not really. "I think I'd rather be."
"Okay, drama queen. What's this big rumor? We didn’t need to come all the way back here just for this."
"Mel is trying to censor your name before it prints, but she wants you prepared in the event she is unsuccessful. She was unsure how you would react, which is why she brought it up to me first. I thought you might… appreciate having the conversation with me instead of her.”
Viktor clears his throat, and Jayce eyes him, urging him to go on. Viktor sighs in resignation, shoulders deflating as though he wished he didn’t have to say anything at all.
"There is an allegation of relations between you and the late patriarch, Nelson Torek, taking place two decades ago."
Jayce's face freezes for only a moment. And then he bursts into laughter, too quickly, and his voice is just a pitch too high and tight. He can feel the skin on his face stretch tightly into a smile that even to him feels forced. "What? Viktor, that's ridiculous. Who even started that?"
There’s a dull ringing in his ears. Viktor may not notice when he gets a haircut or what color sweater he wears, but he’s a native speaker in the masks Jayce dons. “Mr. Torek’s nephew, a man named James Torek. He’s a few years older than us, I believe. He recently interviewed with the Piltover Times, and they contacted Mel for comment.”
Jayce's face doesn’t falter, frozen on a smile that still feels like rubber. "What does that have to do with me?"
Viktor's voice softens as he places a hand over the back of Jayce's. The touch feels like heavy static. "Jayce."
The ringing gets worse. Jayce can hear the blood pounding in his ears. Viktor is still looking at him, and Jayce diverts his gaze in the other direction- anything to not see Viktor's face right now.
"Mel is pretty sure she can get your name redacted from the story, but it's not vague. She was worried about how you would react if you saw it in the paper without warning. And as your friend, she is... concerned."
Jayce can't fathom a response that doesn't incriminate him further, and he grips the rune on his wristband.
“He must misremember then. Some other guy around my age. I've never met the Toreks.”
Viktor lets the words hang in the air for a pause, considering his own carefully. From the corner of his eye, Jayce watches Viktor's face soften, and it fills Jayce with warm dread that sticks to his teeth like sugar. “Do you want to know how I know you're lying to me? You would be horrified if this happened to anyone else.”
Jayce doesn’t have a response to that.
“You are not the one who should be ashamed here. There is no fault in being a victim," Viktor continues, when Jayce can't form anything meaningful to say. He's frozen, and there's headlights right in front of him.
"I... Don't know what you want me to say."
"What I want matters little here, Jayce. Do you make the decisions when my leg is hurting?"
“Sometimes," Jayce hears himself say. He can feel his lips move, listens to his toneless voice in the air. "When you refuse to take care of yourself. When you pretend everything is fine.”
Viktor snorts softly. "Then I suggest we do not go down that path because this is not fine. You can pretend, if you'd like, but I will take care of you regardless. What do you need right now?"
“I... need to be alone.”
“If you'd rather someone else be here, that's fine, and we can go get them, but you know why I will not let you be alone.”
Jayce does know, and he feels his chest tighten in anger. How dare Viktor throw that back in his face? Jayce lets the hollow anger fall through the cracks of his hands. He knows he's just horrified at being seen so wholly. You don’t just end up at the edge suddenly. You end up at the edge when it’s the last straw. Jayce knows this. Viktor apparently does too, though he’s been kind enough to never bring it up until now. Jayce wants to deny it, but there’s no use.
He takes a side-eyed glance at Viktor. As always, Viktor looks at him like his body is made of glass, looking directly into his mind and his soul. Viktor’s are focused on him, but he waits. Jayce closes his eyes to escape the sight.
This can’t be happening. This can’t be real. This is a nightmare. He’s going to wake up any moment and realize he’s late for the lab or for a meeting. He's concussed. He's drunk. He's having a psychotic break and has started hallucinating. Anything is preferable to reality. Viktor isn't supposed to be here. Viktor isn't supposed to see this, to touch this part of Jayce. No one is supposed to. It should go to the grave with him and rot.
“You are my best friend, Jayce. I am here for you. If you’d like me to drop it, I will, but I won’t leave you alone.”
Best friend. Jayce has called Viktor his best friend a few times, but it’s rare that Viktor even says friend. He’s never called Jayce his best friend. It twists something up inside of Jayce, for Viktor to choose now of all times to express the sentiment he craves, and Jayce tightens his grip on his bracelet.
A warm weight falls onto Jayce's shoulder, and he violently flinches away from it. It’s gone before Jayce realizes it was just Viktor's hand, and Jayce is filled with loathing at himself. Viktor never reaches out, and now he probably thinks Jayce doesn’t want it. Or worse, he realizes with dread. Viktor thinks he's disgusting, probably rethinking all the causal touches Jayce has given over the years, given a new perverted light now that he knows how dirty Jayce is. Does he think Jayce has been feeling him up? Does he feel violated? Can he look at Jayce without imagining? What does Viktor think happened? What does he know about? Does he know about the time with- Jayce’s thoughts turn fuzzy- the red rug against Jayce’s knees? Does he know about- the sunroom? – The blue shorts? Does he know about all of the times-
Jayce’s thoughts are interrupted by the sound of skin against skin and a stinging on his face. Jayce blinks his eyes open, not sure whether he ever closed them. His apartment reforms in front of his.
Viktor stands in front of him, leaning over him with a panicked expression. Jayce blinks again.
“Did you just slap me?”
“You stopped responding! I have been saying your name! It has been minutes!”
“Oh, excuse me for having a moment. You find out I was molested, and you slap me?” Jayce feels the thrum of panic in his chest at saying the word, but there's a giddy comfort in familiar banter. Just yesterday, Viktor tried to trip him with his cane because Jayce asked Viktor to please come to the next shareholders meeting. Viktor is treating him no differently. It’s so… Viktor. This is his partner.
“Hm…. It does sound incriminating when you put it that way," Viktor smirks without malice. He knows what he's doing, and he does it well. "But your honor, I am but a poor, undercity cripple. How could I possibly cause enough harm for the Man of Muscle to even feel it?”
“You can’t use that against me when I’m talking about this. That’s unfair.”
“Sure I can. I just did.”
“Well. I guess it's not the first time someone has touched my body without my consent.”
Viktor freezes at Jayce’s words, and they slowly make direct eye contact. Viktor squints. Jayce can’t bite back a cheeky grin that breaks out across his face. It should feel forced, but it’s not this time. Viktor acts so normal, and it quells the lurking monster instead of Jayce.
Viktor squints. “You are a cruel man, Jayce Talis. I am a bad influence on you.”
Jayce feels lighter, but the entire situation is still too heavy on his mind. He shrugs, smile fading a bit.
Viktor lets out an ornery tsk, and he nudges Jayce’s shoulder with the end of his cane. “Where is it okay to touch you? And don’t say you don’t need anything, or I will slap you again, and I will not feel bad about it.”
Jayce’s face turns pink, feeling shy at his needs being pegged so easily. Viktor’s ability to see right through him is unfair.
“…Anywhere is fine. I’m not– your touch doesn’t trigger me. I was just startled for a moment.”
Viktor seems to consider these words for a moment as his head tilts, and then he nudges Jayce’s shoulder with his cane again, forcing him to lean back on the couch. Jayce looks up at Viktor in confusion for only a moment before Viktor straddles his lap. His knees brace on the cushions on either side of Jayce, and Viktor presses their chests together, tucking Jayce’s head under his chin and wrapping arms around Jayce’s head to hold him closer. Jayce is too shocked to respond, and Viktor settles into his lap.
…
…
“Viktor, what are you doing?”
Jayce can hear the eyeroll in Viktor’s voice. “My friend has heard distressing news, and I happen to know he seeks out touch when upset. Surely Piltover has not managed to commercialize human connection.”
Jayce lets Viktor's unique brand of logic wash over him, and he… can’t really argue with that. He does feel a little bit better already. He slowly moves his hands up to wrap around Viktor and tucks his face into Viktor’s shoulder. He feels the warmth where their bodies touch, and he shivers, tightening his hold on Viktor.
The situation feels easier to face, with Viktor’s arms around him and his face hidden away. He’s not sure how long Viktor will let him cling onto him, but Viktor settles against him and doesn’t seem to be pulling back. An errant though causes Jayce to freeze.
“Are you only doing this because you feel bad for me?”
Viktor tsks again. “That’s my line. Do you think me a hypocrite?”
Well. Sometimes. But the idea of Viktor I-will-kill-you-if-you-pity-me [no last name, as they’ve established twice now] pitying him is a bit absurd.
Jayce slowly relaxes into the embrace again. After a moment, Viktor’s hand starts to gently rub circles into Jayce’s back, not unlike a parent would to a sickly child. Jayce shudders at the intimate contact, and Viktor’s hand stops a moment.
“Good or bad?” Viktor’s chest rumbles when he talks so quietly, deep in his chest. Jayce suppresses an airy whine.
“Good,” he whispers instead, like it’s that simple. And for Viktor, it apparently is because he continues the gentle comfort. Jayce presses further into Viktor, like he can crawl inside of Viktor’s ribcage and hide there.
“Will you be able to speak up if you do not like something, or should I keep checking?” Jayce is always amazed at Viktor’s ability to address something so socially complicated and defuse all judgment… but-
“Nothing sexual,” Jayce rushes out, like the wind has been stolen from his lungs. He immediately feels a wave of horror because they’ve never done anything like that? Why would his mind go there? He’s a fucking pervert, and Viktor must be so uncomfortable in his lap right now.
“Silly man,” Viktor teases and scratches the back of Jayce’s head, pulling his attention back. The Zaun has never sounded so soft. “That was not on the agenda. But thank you for telling me anyway. Your boundaries are very important to me.”
Viktor’s praise washes over Jayce like a warm blanket, and he exhales slowly.
“Sometimes I get hard, but it’s not -. My body just does that, and it doesn’t mean I’m getting off on it. Sometimes people… assume. And then it’s hard to say no. I didn’t want you to think I wanted – that.”
“Ah,” Viktor says, as though what Jayce just whispered against his neck is enlightening and not just pathetic. “Rest assured, I understand how the body works. Thank you for clarifying. I will not pay mind if it happens. Do you think you can tell me no, knowing that I won’t assume and nothing will be sexual?”
Jayce feels lightheaded, and he wants to say yes because that’s what Viktor wants, but he knows it's pointless. Viktor would probably know if he lied.
“I’ll try, “ he promises, thinking it’s a good way to agree without lying. He always tries.
Viktor hums in amusement, but then he presses a firm kiss to the top of Jayce’s head. Jayce doesn’t even know how to process that.
“How about that? Was that okay?” Viktor whispers, lips still against Jayce’s hair. He apparently did not take that statement as an agreement. Jayce is too embarrassed by the kiss to argue that asking is unnecessary, but he nods anyway.
“Can you answer me verbally?” Viktor asks, in the same curious way he asks any question he doesn't expect any particular answer to. When he asks Jayce for ideas or when his pursuit of knowledge leads him somewhere books have yet to go.
Jayce opens his mouth for a moment and then closes it. He shakes his head.
Viktor hums in acknowledgement, pulling back so he can press a kiss at Jayce’s temple, his lips touching Jayce’s warm skin. Jayce whimpers, burying his face further against Viktor’s neck. Viktlr chuckles, and Jayce can feel as it vibrates through his chest.
“Sweet boy. Still okay?”
Jayce nods quickly.
“Just shy?”
Jayce nods even quicker, face heating up against Viktor’s neck.
“Shy boy,” Viktor teases in the same tone as his praises, and Jayce feels a warmth spread through him. He likes that tone. He’d do anything for it. He doesn’t forget what brought them here, but everything feels a little bit safer when Viktor talks to him like that.
“Can I talk more about it?”
Despite Jayce feeling fragile, there’s few people Jayce feels safer with, and with this? With something he can’t tell his mother or even Caitlyn about? There’s no one Jayce could be safer with right now. Viktor has seen him at his worse. He’s seen him on the edge, and he’ll take that detail of their introduction to his grave. Viktor already knows so many of the worst parts of Jayce. He… he can know this one too.
Despite himself, Jayce nods slowly. Viktor threads lithe fingers through his hair and scratches his nails against Jayce’s scalp.
“I do not have many details, but I know you had not gone through puberty yet. That must have been so confusing for a little boy.”
Jayce feels dizzy at the language, nauseatingly comforting. His brain replays little boy like a record scratch, soothing an infected wound deep inside of Jayce. He opens his eyes, feeling tears well in them. Viktor continues his gentle petting. Jayce nods. Yes. Little boy. He was a little boy.
“I was little when it started,” Jayce rasps desperately, because he needs Viktor to understand. “And older when it ended.”
Viktor’s petting falters for only a moment, and then he’s grabbing at Jayce even tighter. His reaction is both horrifying and validating. Jayce has been turned inside out, and his guts are spilling out onto the floor
“Oh, Jayce…” Viktor mumbles as he presses another kiss into Jayce’s hair. And another one. And another one. He almost sounds like pitying Jayce, but maybe that’s okay now. It feels like a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Jayce doesn’t understand the rules his own brain is running on right now.
“Have you been holding this all on your own?”
Jayce nods slowly, numb even as he can feel something building up inside of him.
Viktor rubs his back and slowly begins to rocks him slowly back and forth. Tears finally fall from his eyes, and he can feel the sticky wetness on Viktor’s skin. He hears a muffled wail, and it takes a moment to register that it came from him, buried in Viktor’s neck. He tries to bite his lip to quiet himself, but he feels Viktor shake his head.
“You can cry. You’ve been holding onto this for a long time, huh? No one held the little boy and told him it was going to be alright. That he didn’t do anything wrong and that this shouldn’t have happened.”
Somehow this makes Jayce cry even harder. How does Viktor always do that? How does he just know?
“Didn’t wanna make mom feel bad,” Jayce hiccups, ashamed of himself. Viktor sits up to hold Jayce’s face in both of his hands, brushing tears off red, splotchy cheeks.
“Do you think I could hold that little boy?” Jayce feels another rush of dizziness, and he’s begun to cry so hard it’s difficult to see. He nods desperately. Viktor presses a firm kiss to his forehead, and if Jayce could cry harder, he would. He screws his eyes shut, chest heaving as he sucks in air between sobs.
“So brave,” Viktor coos against his forehead, in the same voices he uses to coax the stray cats behind the academy to smell his hand. “I’m so proud of you. I’m proud of the man you become, and I’m proud of the little boy you are right now.”
Jayce feels too many things at once to understand any of it, but something in his expression must say something because Viktor brushes more tears off his gross, sticky cheeks. Jayce opens his eyes again to see Viktor smiling softly at him.
“Let me take care of you, Jayce. I have you.”
The last of Jayce’s resolve crumbles, and he nods in agreement. He’s so desperate for it, has been so desperate for it for so long. He wants to hear Viktor tell him it’s not his fault, to feel Viktor touching him like he's not dirty, to be seen so thoroughly and held.
Viktor settles down on his lap again, and Jayce is immediately aware of the very problem he dreaded happening. His penis is hard. Viktor’s weight settling against him, presses into his disgusting erection, and the stimulation feels sickly sweet and wrong.
Jayce gags, self-loathing washing over the comfort he just had.
“Nononono,” Jayce moans, Viktor immediately moves to get off of him. Jayce reaches for Viktor desperately, terrified Viktor has reached the limit of gross that he can handle, but Viktor shushes him.
“Shh, shhh. I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to get up, okay?” he placate, sliding off of Jayce’s lap with ease. He never stops touching Jayce, fingers wrapping around Jayce’s forearms. He tugs Jayce up, and Jayce goes without hesitation.
“We’re going to your bed, because there is more space to lay down. I am going to hold you, and automatic bodily functions do not matter to me as long as you're comfortable. I will ignore them. Are you amenable?”
Jayce nods quickly, and Viktor lets go of one forearm to grab the cane he left leaning on the coffee table. They make their way to the modest bedroom, most space being taken up by a very large bed. Viktor had teased him about it before, but tonight, it’s quite handy.
Viktor’s hand releases Jayce and reaches up to loosen his tie before pulling it off and over his head. He pauses, noticing Jayce just standing there, watching him. Viktor thinks over his words carefully.
“Please find us something more comfortable to wear. I’m not picky, but if you try to give me a man of progress shirt, I will steal it and wear it to the lab just to embarrass you.”
Jayce is too deep in his own mind to take the threat as anything but surface level, and he dutifully moves to his dresser to find a plain tee shirt for Viktor and a tank top for himself. He finds soft pants for the both of them and then returns to Viktor, holding up his choices to wait for approval. Viktor gives him a funny look that makes him nervous before seeming to realize something.
“Good,” Viktor smiles, and the gentle voice is back. He takes his pair from Jayce and pulls the shirt over his bare chest. He looks back up at Jayce, who’s not moved, but he just smiles.
“Get changed for me, sweetheart.” Jayce rids himself of his clothing quickly, shoving feet through the pants and pulling the tank over his head. Viktor hurries to slide the baggy, soft pants on, pulling the loose fabric over his bad leg with only a bit of difficulty.
Dressed comfortably, Viktor motions to the bed. Jayce just watched him. Viktor smiles again and slides under the covers. He pats the space next to him.
“Come here, solnysko.”
Jayce perks up at the foreign name, and he’s quick to slide under the covers. He doesn’t initiate contact with Viktor, but Viktor doesn’t hesitate to pull the larger man into him, careful to not press into his abdomen lest he trigger Jayce again.
Jayce curls up around himself, as though protecting himself, and Viktor turns onto his side. He wraps himself around Jayce as best he can, protecting Jayce as best he can. There’s a pang of insecurity – he’s not tall enough to fully wrap around Jayce – but it doesn’t seem to bother Jayce at all.
Jayce lets out a pleased hum as Viktor places another kiss to his hair.
“Protectin’ me,” Jayce mumbles into Viktor’s chest, and Viktor nods.
“Always.”
Jayce leans into Viktor. They let a comfortable silence blanket over them, and Viktor finds himself playing with Jayce’s hair, running fingers around his ears and combing through it, wishing it was longer, something he could braid.
“I will always protect you, Jayce. If you need to hide, you can hide with me. We don’t have to tell Mel anything. She won’t press it.”
Jayce nods, a tension vacant from his shoulders.
“Don’t wanna tell her.”
“Then we won’t.”
“Lying is bad,” Jayce whispers, sounding much younger than he looks.
“You have too much good karma, Jayce Talis. If we’re to make it to the same afterlife, you need to commit a few more sins anyway.”
Jayce lets out an amused huff against Viktor’s collarbone.
“Are you feeling any better? You seem calmer.”
Jayce exhales slowly. His eyes droop, half-lidded. “Feels safe. Not so exposed.”
Viktor pulls the blanket a little higher, covering Jayce entirely. Jayce practically melts, nuzzling into Viktor in appreciation.
“If I knew this was all it took to turn you into putty, I would have held you a long time ago.”
Jayce unfurls a bit to wrap an arm around Viktor’s waist, squeezing in insecurity. Viktor pets the arm in reassurance.
“I didn’t say that was a bad thing."
Jayce frowns. “I thought you didn’t like touch,” he mumbles, voice muffled by the blanket.
“I’ve never said that, have I?”
“But you flinch. And you never start it.”
“I’m just not used to it,” Viktor has grown quiet again, “It can be overwhelming at times, when you aren’t used to it. Even when you crave it, it can feel sharp. Sharp, but not unwelcomed. Not when it’s you.”
With newfound confidence, Jayce unfurls more, and he shuffles around. It takes a moment for Viktor to realize what he’s doing, but then he feels Jayce slide his tank top off and even kick the sweats off. He’s left in just a pair of boxes.
And look. Viktor gets it. Jayce is a Greek god of a man, and he’s nearly naked, and he's probably still half hard. He knows he shouldn’t judge the people from “people assune” because he’s never met them. It would look sexual if someone burst the door open. If Viktor wasn’t so deeply turned off by Jayce’s distress, maybe it would feel sexual to him too.
But the way Jayce’s hands find his own and press one to cup his face. The way Jayce leans into his touch like he’s a starving man. The way the pit in his stomach is warm but no fire burns. The way Jayce has no preference for where he’s touched, as long as Viktor’s hands remain on him. How could he think Jayce seeking comfort was a sexual act?
“Jayce?” Viktor asks, earning a hum of acknowledgement. “Would you like me to undress as well, or is it preferred I stay clothed?”
Jayce doesn’t respond for a long moment before sighing softly in resignation. His voice is still muffled, and Viktor can’t help but find it adorable.
“Shirt off, pants on… if that’s okay…”
Viktor flips onto his back to pull his borrowed shirt off. Jayce doesn’t give him the opportunity to turn back on his side, crawling up Viktor’s body to peak his head out from under the covers and rest the side of his face on Viktor’s bare chest. He slides his hands up Viktor’s sides, feeling the misshapen ribcage under soft skin. Jayce blinks slowly up at the other, lids never rising more than half open. Viktor runs fingers through Jayce’s hair with a lazy smile forming across his face. Jayce leans into the hand, nuzzling it.
“You’re like a cat,” Viktor remarks in amusement. Jayce settles his weight on Viktor, their skin pressed together in a way that’s intimate and almost overwhelming but warm. Viktor kisses Jayce’s hairline and moves his other palm to rest on his shoulder.
Jayce’s eyes fall shut for a final time as Viktor traces words in an unfamiliar language on his shoulder blade. As his breath events out, Viktor presses a firm kiss to Jayce’s forehead.
There's still a lot to talk about. And potentially a PR crisis looming.
But they have time for that later. Viktor isn't going anywhere.