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Madoka wasn't sure how she found herself where she was. Well, she did but this just wasn't up her alley for a sleepover activity. Normally she'd go for watching movie, or even just cuddling and talking about her day. However she was easily convinced, which landed her in unlikely and uncomfortable situations. Like tonight.
It really started earlier that week. They were on a date-ish, Dazai had to run errands for Mori, and invited Madoka with him. It was cold and cloudy outside and they were on the train, sitting in comfortable silence, and listening to the quiet sound of conversation by other people on the train. Madoka had been holding his hand and gently resting her head on his shoulder, despite how much he hated affection, there were times when she got lucky and he wouldn't push her away. She knew it was something he really did want at times, even though he'd never ask for it. He didn't ask for anything, he either demanded it or simply expected it. Which is why she found herself dumbfounded when he worded his idea as a request, rather than a set in stone plan.
“Hey, how would you feel about eating me?” He asked, as if it was a regular conversation starter. Okay, maybe it was more than his tone that left her dumb, that was a very out of pocket question. She simply stared at him, for a good while.
“Uh, pardon? Eat you?” She didn't even bother hiding the utter confusion in her tone. She obviously knew what he meant, she wasn't that dense. Cannibalism wasn't exactly unheard-of between them, but she hadn't expected for him to flip it around. She didn't exactly mind giving pieces of herself to him, if it made him happy and satisfied his urges. It was small bits at a time, and it healed, but it did leave nasty scars all up her neck, to her shoulders, and collar bones. Her school uniform kept it hidden though.
“Nothing unsafe or absurd, dumbass,” He said with a scoff, like it was obvious what he meant. And between them, it was. He patiently waited for a response, staring at her uncannily. She thought about it. She didn't exactly feel drawn to the idea. Nor did she feel opposed, if that helps. But she knew he'd wear her down throughout the day and ask again later. And she'd said yes, like always.
“Sure! If that's what you'd like,” She smiled softly as she agreed. She didn't quite understand why he wanted this, but she'd ponder later. Right now, she'd go back to her mini nap until the train stopped. Why Mori requested something from a shop in Osaka, neither of them would know.
He let out a quiet, “Thanks.” and refused to look at her. For a second, she worried that she had said something entirely wrong when she saw him avoiding eye contact. But she chalked it up to him actually being able to feel shame for once.
He glared at her when she laid her head back down on his shoulder. She felt his eyes burning into her, but didn't bother moving. A 2 hour train ride was bound to be tedious, may as well sleep.
That day Madoka ended up not being able to sleep, she just played with Dazai's hair while he played animal crossing on his 3DS. It's a wonder he lets her braid his hair or tie it up. The memory is almost laughable, but she can't find it in her to even giggle.
Here they are now, once again in Dazai's metal box of a house. They sat on the futon, with Madoka sitting on him and her legs wrapped around his waist. Usually, this would be nice, but it was bitter cold outside and there were only 2 thin blankets, because someone doesn't like being at least a little warm in the middle of winter. She was shivering, somehow, he was sitting there as if he was immune to the cold.
She let out a shaky breath and gently grabbed his shoulders. Her eyes fluttered closed as she brought him closer to her. She looked at him, like she wanted to say something, anything, but she couldn't find the words, or the energy, to speak. She looked away, she appeared nervous, but that wasn't it. The air was thin, there was no tension, no uncertainty, they both knew what would happen, and how it would end.
She placed a few kisses against his shoulder. While it was a repetitive choice of body part, they decided it was more convenient, and generally easier to hide. He idly tugged at her ponytail. She always put her hair up before bed, her hair was soft, and smelled like strawberry kiwi. He found such texture and scent grounding.
She started with gentle bites, barely breaking skin at first and quickly cleaning up the little beads of blood that did spill out. As they got harder- not necessarily rougher, his hand in her hair tightened and the ribbon fell out. Once her teeth sank into his flesh, she took a shallow bite. The bite immediately resulted in blood pooling in and filling what would be the hole, and spilling over down his shoulder.
His hand fell out of her hair as he lost strength. He looked down to the blood dripping down and completely ruining his pajamas, and he smiled. Madoka looked horrified that Dazai was smiling. Did he like it? He had to if he asked for this, but how much? She shook herself out of her own thoughts and began locking up the blood around the wound. Then inside, she made sure to lick up the actual source itself a few times. Part of her really doubted she wanted to see his reaction to that.
She moved her head to a patch of skin next to it and sunk her teeth into the meat. She sat there, thinking about how she feels about the taste and texture. The taste is just raw, and tastes like coins. She feels her stomach churning and knows she's gonna have to step outside for a minute to throw up later. As for the texture, surprisingly good, she has sensory issues with a lot of textures avoids certain foods, yet Dazai is fine. She finally bites down and chews. Once again blood comes rushing to it, then spilling into the former bite and filling both of them.
She takes a quick look at him, who seems very pleased. She was gonna ask if he needs a break, however his light smile and dazed eyes spoke louder. She was only mildly freaked out by his reaction, but she found it hard to not be freaked out by him about many things, his lack of empathy, for one. She licked up the blood, which she didn't mind the taste of actually. This time though, she was a little less gentle with the actual wound, she lapped up the pool of blood with little care. It was midnight and she was tired, she didn't think very clearly when her mind was set on laying down and sleeping until noon.
He brought a hand to her head and pulled at her hair, signaling she could be done now. When she pulled her head up he immediately pulled her into a kiss, tasting his own blood in her mouth. After a few seconds she quickly pulled back, having been caught off guard.
“At least… like ask,” She stated, sounding quite unamused by his sudden action. She gave him a quick peck on the forehead and got up to get a few things, a roll of bandages, bottle of water, and one of the snacks she brought in her backpack.
“Did you get me gummy bears?” Dazai asked, sounding a little excited when he saw the bag of what was in fact gummy bears.
“Mhm! I'd feel guilty if I didn't get you something,” She got the stuff and sat back down on the futon. She handed him his water and candy and wrapped up the wounds with fresh bandages, and buttoned the few loose buttons on his shirt back up.
She sat beside him and waited until he drank all his water, constantly urging him to rehydrate because he lost blood. When he finished it he laid down, she did the same. They talked for a bit until they both fell asleep.