Chapter 1: Caught red handed (literally)
Chapter Text
Like a glass of wine shattered over fresh snow, Michelangelo watched as the blood seeped into the tissue. It was so mesmerizing… like little jewels falling from his sliced skin. If only he were as priceless as a jewel…
But Priceless and Worthless are two very different things.
Michelangelo yelped as there was suddenly a knock on the bathroom door. He instantly began to panic- because he wasn’t at the lair. He was having a sleepover at the Justice Force Headquarters.
“Uh- just one minute! Almost done.”
His voice was wobbly as he retched it from his closing throat. He felt like he was going to suffocate.. the fear of being caught made his heart pump pure, burning, adrenaline. It made him feel like he was an earthquake, heart sending ripples through the tectonic plates of his flesh and bone.
“Are you alright in there, Turtle Titan? I smell blood.”
“Just a bloody nose, Silvy!”
Michelangelo prayed to the divine pizza in the sky that Silver Sentry wasn’t using his X-ray vision right now…
The turtle rinsed his wrists under the faucet- hissing at the hot water before wiping his arms more furiously with a tissue- throwing the bloody wads in the garbage. He quickly wrapped his arms in thick bandages- hoping the open wounds wouldn’t break the seal with their tsunami of blood and give him away.
He caught the little feathers of frayed fabric get coated in red as he helped himself to the fresh first aid in the bathroom. Michelangelo hummed as he decided to shove the disposable razor he had disassembled into his belt pocket before walking out of the bathroom.
“Hey dude… Sorry to worry you! I just get nosebleeds easy! Could use a humidifier in one of these rooms!”
Michelangelo giggled nervously as his eyes slid up and down Silver Sentry. He could feel his cold sweat leak from his smoldering pores, the after shocks still radiating through his legs as the shook.
Very obviously.
“Right..”
The hero nodded stiffly as he raised a brow, not looking convinced. It made Michelangelo’s wobbly visage break down into a full frown- his teeth clenched tightly behind his beak.
Michelangelo stepped out of the bathroom, feeling a bit exposed. But he didn’t know the extent of Silver Sentry’s knowledge on his previous activity. He may be able to still get out of this!
“Seriously dude- I woke up to a total geyser! Be lucky it didn’t get into the carpet.”
He waved his arms around the emphasize his point- which may have been the wrong move, as the hero caught his hand with an impossibly strong yet gentle grip.
“I didn’t know turtle noses were located on their arms.”
Silver sentry mused sarcastically and Michelangelo watched in horror as the bandages on his arms became wet and warm with gooey red patches.
“Silver..”
Michelangelo’s eyes were wide yet downturned like a kicked puppy as he stared up at his number one idol. He felt his skull melt from the heat of panic and fall from his tear ducts. Only for Silver Sentry to gently swoop the tear away before it could map out from the corner of Michelangelo’s eyes.
The turtle blushed softly- not a great idea for his remaining blood to flow up to his face… But he couldn’t help but admire how caring his friend was. Now he felt awful- as if he didn’t feel similarly before.
“Don’t cry- I’m not angry at you. But we should get you properly taken care of.”
Michelangelo nodded, letting Silver Sentry gently sit him down onto the edge of the tub. It felt oddly intimate as Silver Sentry kneeled down infront of the turtle and unwrapped his wrists with the gentleness of a butterfly dancing upon a delicate rose. It made Michelangelo tear up again…
“You may need stitches…”
Michelangelo cringed at the soft and intense voice.
“You know I hate needles… Needles and throwing up are the two things I just can’t stand! If I could- imagine all the piercing’s I woulda given myself!”
Michelangelo smiled as he was able to get Silver Sentry to quietly chuckle- it was the only thing keeping him from whining as the fresh air hit his exposed cuts. They were deep- gaping open to show the layer of fat trying to peek through the dermis.
Silver Sentry put light pressure on the horror scene that was Michelangelo’s arms, hoping the bleeding would stop on its own and he wouldn’t have to rush the turtle to the infirmary for some serious medical attention. Michelangelo breathed a bit heavy- he would be panting if he had no shame, It stung!
The bleeding subsided, making the two friends breathe a sigh of relief. The dabbing of alcohol on Michelangelo’s wounds made him outright whimper, and Silver Sentry comfortingly rubbed Michelangelo’s carapace.
His sliced flesh was properly cleaned and bandaged. Michelangelo clenched his fists a few times, enjoying the tightness of the wrapping’s on his wrists.
“Thanks Silver..”
The ninja yawned and squeaked as Silver Sentry picked him up like a little princess. He rested his head against the hero’s chest, lazily nuzzling his cheek into his defined pecs. Silver Sentry didn’t seem to mind to affectionate action.
“Of course, but Michelangelo. This is serious…”
Michelangelo was worried that he would say that…
“And I don’t want to alarm your family if you don’t want me to, but I feel I have to on such a dangerous situation.”
Michelangelo shook his head like a dog destroying a chew toy.
“Please don’t, Silver… I’ll get better- I’ll try! I’ll clean the headquarters up and down- i’ll cook for the entire hero force! Just please don’t tell anyone!”
Silver sentry hummed, starting to think about it as his sidekick desperately clutched at his pajama shirt.
“I won’t tell them. But you have to promise to stop… you can come to me if you need to talk, it’s my duty to protect people- especially my friends.”
Michelangelo nodded, lolling back into his previous position of snuggling.
“Yeah- totally. That’s what I’ll do.”
Silver sentry forced a smile and traversed out of the bathroom.
“Let’s get you some rest..”
Chapter 2: Dreamy eyes awoken
Summary:
Michelangelo thinks about why he does what he does.
Chapter Text
I woke up. I woke up and I hated it. Everything was sore- even my eyes were a chore to open.
“Ugh-?”
My head is treated like a maraca, as I try and get my brain to comprehend what’s around me… oh yeah! My eyes catch on Silver Sentry on the bed next to me and I remember where I am..
I was having a sleepover at the Justice Force Headquarters! I had a great night and then I totally blew it by slashing into my veins at the afterparty! I knew I shouldn’t have done it at someone else’s place- but it’s hard to fight back those urges.
I watch the blankets a few feet away from me slowly shift and deflate, showing off Silver Sentry’s ability to breathe. An ability I wish I didn’t have, sometimes.
I fight to get comfy in the claustrophobic nest that was this bed. The blankets were nothing but gooey claws, intent on devouring me. It sucked. Everything was really comfy- just not to me because i have to be some- complicated little flower!
I wonder and wonder why it’s so hard to not treat myself like a frog in biology class…
I start to wonder when I even started? I think it was after me and my brothers came back from space, but it’s really hard to remember.
I really hope Silver doesn’t tell my brothers or father.. I can already imagine Raph saying it’s some cry for attention. But I wouldn’t hide it if it were for attention… I almost wish it were for attention. Then I could walk around with bo bandages with everyone feeling sorry for me and trying to save me from myself!
But no- it wasn’t any of that. Sometimes I just do it because I feel like it. An addiction that can’t be put out as easily as a cigarette.
I started because it made me feel better. I would feel awful and disgusting… but a blade took all those negative thoughts away! I like it. As bad as it sounds. And I don’t wanna quit- I don’t have any reason to.
Or atleast I didn’t- until now. Now the risk of everyone finding out is at stake! That was definitely a new motivator.
But it would be hard- even with Silver Sentry reaching out for me… there was something wrong with me and I already know I’ll never be able to fix it.
I like seeing the blood- and the cuts. The deeper the scars, the more excited I get! I feel almost proud of myself in some sick and twisted way- I can only assume it’s because I belong in a padded room.
And I like the aftercare part… it’s like my own personal space day! I get to take a hot shower and clean up all the blood and give myself some bandages! It’s like giving myself a hug- self love these days, huh?
I get to lay in bed and bleed out on my soft and fluffy blankets- the emptiness and buzzing sting filling me with relief. And seeing the scars left behind after is like a line of trophies down my arms and legs. Seeing them fade away brings back that urge to skin myself of anger and disgust- even if I was feeling fine before.
It’s odd. But it’s what I like.
It’s just something I enjoy. I enjoy every part of it and I know I shouldn’t…
I even have fantasies about it…
Imagine, cuddling with someone while they slice your wrists open for you… or tell you how pretty you are as you drain your own veins… maybe they lap it up like a vampire. Vampires are so totally hot.
Maybe that’s part of the problem- thinking about things like that! But deep down it’s because they would understand and accept me in a situation like that… and that would be nice. And if they didn’t try to stop me- even better!
It’s like my top replayed daydream up in my brain!
As I stroll down my mind to try and justify why I feel the need to dissect my wrists, my arms feel itchy.
All this reverie is making me want to break my promise to Silver… I mean- it’s not like he’ll know after I leave! He’s not gonna be my suicide watch or whatever…
So I’m totally in the clear to do whatever I want to myself as soon as I go back home! Just no more cutting around superheroes with superhuman senses! Obviously…
I’m so stupid. But in my defense, I thought Silver Sentry was asleep! And that guy sleeps like a brick… Or like me after getting hit in the head with a brick!
Happens more often than you would think, by the way.. or maybe less- considering how much of my brain Ive rotted away with a concoction of sugar, cartoons, and concussions. A very delicate balance!
As I scratch at my bandages, I feel the scabs catching on the fabric and breaking open. And I immediately pull my paws off of myself as I hear the bed next to me creak.
Silver sentry is awake!
I would be more excited under different circumstances.
I sat up in bed, as Silver Sentry headed to the bathroom to start his day.
Today, me and him, he and I! We’re going out and about on Hero business! There has been all these attacks around the city with no rhyme or reason! My The Justice Force, which includes me, bu the way- are gonna figure it out!
We’ll be all over the city tonight, so crime be aware, Justice is watching ya!
•••••••••••••••••••••••
“I can’t wait to go out on patrol tonight! And we’ll be together on the east side! Just you, me, and the starless night sky…”
But who needs stars when you can stare off into Silver Sentry’s eyes? Plus his uniform was kinda sparkly, if you wanted to look at that instead.
“Well Michelangelo, about that… are you sure you should be fighting with your current injury?”
His tone was as inquisitive as it was protective… And I probably would have fainted like a damsel if I wasn’t so annoyed! No way was Silver gonna cut me out cause I cut myself out.
“Duh! I’ve battled through way worse scrapes dude… I’m practically in the best health I ever have been!”
I was not gonna let him leave me out of this mission. And he knew that. He had that look in his eyes he gets when he tells me
‘no way!’ And then I totally do it anyway!
Silver knows I’ll just sneak out on my own mission to catch this villain if he doesn’t take me with! Aha, Michelangelo wins once again!
“Alright.. But be careful. And I’d like to talk to you later about your… issue.”
“Totally. And careful? I always am, dude.”
One of my amazing mutant talents, I’m such a great liar!
This mission will go off without a hitch!
Chapter 3: ILY
Chapter Text
This mission actually- did not go off without a hitch!
A good chunk of the city was almost blown to bits thanks to some junkyard gang of robots who wanted to destroy the city and take over- some revenge plot against being thrown away like trash.
But I stopped their plan- by almost dying.
I tried to talk them out of it and it didn’t work, so I obviously got to busting bots back into trashbags- and I don’t know how to defuse a bomb- so I just guessed!
Always cut the blue wire, right?
No. It did break the thing enough to dampen the explosion and save New York, but it could still do some damage to your’s truly. And it’s not even my fault, the bomb squad would have taken way too long!
So I saved to day, almost turning into a pile of dust was just a necessary sacrifice. My family did not see it that way…
“Oww!”
I winced as I was treated down in the infirmary, antiseptic burned! They were talking about antibiotics and a bunch of other things I didn’t care to remember. Half of my body was burned pretty bad, and I was sewn and bandaged up- I felt like frankensteins’s monster!
“Oh, what’s up guys?”
My brothers and my father had been informed of my injuries- and came over to see me. How nice.
“Mikey! You could’ve killed yourself, what were you thinking!?”
If only. I waved away Leo’s statement.
“Hey- I had to! Say goodbye to all of manhattan or me, seemed like an obvious option…”
Donatello looked me over- even though I had already gotten treated.
“How’d you get those..?”
My eyes followed Donnie’s gaze to my stitched up arms, because newsflash! Explosions can reopen wounds while making new ones.
“Uh- the bomb?”
I looked away, to see my father sitting on the cot beside me. He must’ve gotten tired of standing. Ha- he’s so old…
“They sure don’t look like burns.”
Gosh Donnie, why do you have to care so much? It’s annoyingly sincere.
We sit there for a while, not much happening before I say goodbye to Silver Sentry, and me and the fam hop back to the sewers!
I get to chillax on the couch. Until Donnie stands over me, arms crossed.
“Move D, you’re blocking the light from the TV, and I’m tryna get a toony tan!”
He doesn’t find it funny.
“Mikey, I want to talk to you. This is serious…”
Oh man- Donnie’s using his brother voice. Must be serious… I pull my legs back and sit up, allowing my brother to sit beside me.
“What’s up..?”
I think I know exactly what’s up- and that’s why every atom of my being is shaking around like sand stuck in your shoe. Not mine because I don’t wear shoes, lucky me.
“Mikey, be honest with me please.. are you- suicidal?”
Uh oh. Well I wish he had been more subtle than that!
“Uh-“
“At first I didn’t think much of the explosion even though it was risky- but then I saw your uh- scars. And they look self inflicted. I’m just worried that you were being so careless because you don’t care if you die..”
“No! No way dude, I live being alive! Living is totally radtastical. I was just trying to help others and sometimes that’s risky..”
Donatello nodded, not looking too sure- his hands holding onto his shoulders.
“So then- what’s with the cuts?”
“I- I dunno?”
Donnie looked even more confused.
“You’re mutilating your self and you ‘don’t know’ why?”
I shake my head.
“No! i know why but I don’t know! You’re putting me on the spot man!”
Donatello sighed.
“I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you to hurt yourself… Cause I care about you. You know we all love you, right?”
I nodded. I knew that well enough, that wasn’t the issue.
“Duh. I love all you guys too! Id be totally sad without you guys.. you’re practically all I got! You matter to me more than anything else. I don’t wanna die- leaving you guys behind would be the worst mistake I could ever make.”
I jumped onto Donnie for a hug- it hurt cause of my burns. But a little love makes everything feel better. I feel Donnie hug me back- but he’s shakier than I am! We probably look like two wet kittens…
“I always want you safe.. and you’re not safe as long as you’re doing this! Is there something I can do?”
Donatello pulled back ever so slightly, He has a finger to his lips like he usually does when he’s thinking- biting at his nails.
I guess I’d have to think about it. Cause- I don’t really know what he could do to help… No matter how smart Donnie was, he couldn’t magically change my feelings.
“I dunno… Just don’t tell anybody. Especially dad or Leo. And be there for me? I mean.. you already are and all-“
“I get it- I know what you mean Mikey. I have to as your brother.. I’m practically bilingual, having to speak Mikey-nese.”
I giggled, and I saw Donnie finally smile. He looked alot less worried. It was liked being warmed by the sun on a snowy winter day to see my brother happy…
“You’re way fluent in my lingo bro… I love you.
“Love you too.”