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Felix was surprised. It had been years since he had seen that boy enter his flower shop, and now he was there every Sunday, buying the same flowers as always.
He had many questions, but he didn't want to be intrusive, so he tried to talk to the boy little by little. Jisung was shy, he never started the conversation, but he was always very kind. It took a few months for them to become inseparable, and even create a mutual interest.
But it wasn't long before Jisung showed who he gave the most beautiful daisies from Felix's flower shop to.
ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̽‿̩͙‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̽‿̩͙‿̩͙‿̩̩̽‿̩͙‿̩͙‿̩̩̽‿̩͙‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̽‿̩͙‘⸊ˎ
They had reached the top of the hill, the cemetery was divided into seven parts, and despite being a hill, the tombstones were on flat ground, making it look like a ladder for giants. In the middle there was a path of steps. As they climbed, he noticed that there were several drinking fountains and they even stopped at one, Felix to drink water and Jisung to fill the jar he was carrying. That was the penultimate division.
There were only two tombstones at the top, one on the right side and the other on the left side. Jisung went towards the one on the left side and Felix just followed him. The older one bent down in front of one of the two marble vases positioned next to the tombstone and removed the dried flowers.
"I took too long to see you, didn't I? Sorry about that, I've been busy these days, you're not mad, are you?" he cleaned the vase and placed the flowers he had bought before going up. "But look, I bought daisies, white ones, your favorites! It's been a long time since I gave you these, hasn't it? They're quite expensive lately, but I promise to bring them more often," he poured water into the middle of the vase and moved on to the other, doing the same process. "You're all dirty, huh? And don't you dare say that I am too because it's a lie! I took a long shower and I'm all clean just to visit you! But seriously, I pay them to keep you clean and when I get here you're in this state. Your neighbor is spotless, what a disgrace is this?" he complained while taking a damp cloth and cleaning the tombstone, which was also made of marble. "But don't worry, my dear, I'm going to complain to them, get my money back and call Changbin to take care of you, as he always did, remember?" he cleaned the photo engraved in the marble with such delicacy that, for a moment, Felix really thought it would shatter if the boy used a little more force.
But, what caught the attention of the youngest was the two words that Jisung used to refer to the person he was talking to, "my dear". He didn't find it bad, not at all, he was just curious and he knew that curiosity wasn't always a good thing to have, he had been holding back his questions since the moment they arrived at the cemetery parking lot.
"All done, you're clean again! Much better like this, isn't it? I know that we're both eager to catch up, but first I need to greet you, don't you think?" he knelt in front of the tombstone and put his hands together at the height of his nose. Felix didn't know what to do, so he just put his hands together at the height of his belly and closed his eyes, wishing peace and a good rest to whoever was the owner of that soul. "There de go. Ah! I brought a visitor, I hope you don't mind. You can sit down, sunshine," the older one sat down with his legs crossed and Felix did the same. "My dear, this is Felix. Felix, this is Minho, I'm sure he's very happy to meet you," he smiled at the youngest.
"It's a pleasure, Minho," he said looking at the tombstone, the boy engraved looked young. His full name was Lee Minho, born on October 25th, 1998. Died on March 15th, 2018. He was only nineteen years old. Below this information there was a stanza, he decided to read it.
"The overflowing tears seem difficult to stop
The rain falls, the rain falls and everything goes wrong
The dark shadow behind you, that shines
You can show it to me, don't hide."
It was a song, its title was Silent Cry and the author was Han Jisung. He looked at the boy who was already staring at him and smiling.
"He asked for it."
"Excuse me?"
"The song, Minho asked for it."
"He asked before..." he didn't finish the sentence, he didn't want to touch an open wound yet. Jisung, on the other hand, just chuckled.
"Yeah, more or less. Since I showed it to him, he said he wanted a verse engraved on the tombstone, so I could read it and not feel alone," he smiled sweetly. "On the day he died, I promised him that I would put it, but I wanted him to tell me which part. He could only say the first three words, but I got it right away."
"Oh... It must have been hard for you."
"It was, but now it's okay. I come at least once a month to visit him, and last time I spent about three hours here, just talking and hoping he could hear me from wherever he is.”
And Minho listened, always sitting on top of the tombstone with his legs crossed and his face resting on one of his hands. Jisung didn't know, but Minho anxiously awaited the youngest's visits. Jisung didn't see, but Minho always got out of the marble so that the boy could clean it. Jisung didn't feel it, but Minho always left a kiss on his forehead before seeing him leave. Jisung was everything to Minho.
He had already lost count of how many times he had refused the invitation of the light. He wouldn't leave there, he wouldn't stop listening to the boy talk for hours, he wouldn't let the boy eat alone, he wouldn't trade the sight of Jisung's face for a bright light. No, no way. He wouldn't trade the privilege of hearing about the boys the youngest was interested in, and, above all, he wouldn't trade Jisung for "true peace". He didn't need that, Jisung was already the true definition of peace. He was the definition of beauty, his voice was the most beautiful music that could exist, eating with the youngest was already like being born again and he only accepted the offering when it came directly from him. Jisung didn't know, but Minho would stay there, sitting on the same marble tombstone, in the same position, always listening to him, until death decides to return his beloved to him.
"Did Changbin know him?" Felix asked, watching the youngest arrange the food and separate the offerings for Minho, arranging them on a red cloth in front of the tombstone.
"Yes, since middle school, just like Chan and I. We were an inseparable quartet, even though Min and Chan were older and studied in another classroom," he cut two pieces of cake and handed one to Felix, keeping the other. "We were nine and eight years old when we met, we were new at school and we ended up getting along," he smiled as he remembered the time. "We started dating when we were twelve years old, me and Minho, those childhood sweethearts, you know? But it really turned into something serious as we grew up."
Felix stared at him with concentration, admiring how the boy spoke of Minho and feeling the love coming from him. He thought about how Lee was lucky to find someone like Jisung, and imagined that Jisung was also lucky to find someone like Lee.
"At seventeen for me and eighteen for him, things started to get complicated," Han's expression drooped and he looked at the tombstone. "He turned pale, he got very tired with any movement and started to faint. Aunt took him to do some exams, every day he got worse. Once, in Portuguese class, the teacher asked him to read a paragraph of the text and he couldn't even get halfway through, he was breathless and fainted, “he sighed, caressing the image engraved in the marble.
"You don't have to continue if you don't want to, Ji," Felix said, biting his lower lip. He was curious but he didn't want to make the boy relive painful memories.
"No, it's okay, I want to," he took a deep breath before continuing. "The test results came out the day after his birthday. He had cancer in the central nervous system. I remember his little face when he came back from the clinic, he was so tired, completely depressed and I didn't know what to do because I didn't know what was happening. "When I found out, the only thing on my mind was not leaving him alone. I moved into his house, spent all my time with him, and did everything to get at least a little smile out of him. He spent a year at home, but had to go to the hospital when his condition worsened... He suffered so much, Lix," he said with a sigh. "It was awful to see him like that, but I would do it all again if I had to."
Felix moved to sit beside him and hugged him tightly. He had been through some losses, but couldn't imagine the pain of losing the love of his life so early and tragically.
"I was devastated... He died in 2018 and I managed to get out of bed on my own a year ago," he sighed, returning the embrace. "And he loved your flowers," he laughed weakly.
Felix smiled, relieved that Jisung was able to recover and move on with his life without forgetting his beloved. He caressed his brown hair and placed a kiss on the back of his hand.
"I know that what we have now is new and we agreed to give it a chance... But I will never be able to forget Minho," he said without looking at him. "I'm sorry."
"I know," he said softly. "And it's okay. Your happiness is all that really matters to me."