Chapter 1: Golden Boy
Chapter Text
Harry was sat on the train with Hermione and Ron, despite only being 19 he looked much older— late twenties to be exact. Hermione suspects it was stress from the war, everything was relying on Harry, you wonder what that’d do to a child.
Ever since he was 11, he had the world on his back. Everyone depended on him to stop Lord Voldemort, but after he did they seemed to push him aside. Despite the occasional fans and various papers wanting to speak with him, people went about their daily life and down the line people started to blame every death that occurred on him. As if he, himself, killed their family members.
Suddenly, Harry’s eyes weren’t that bright, the emotion wasn’t that deep anymore. Not even around his friends, his girlfriend. Of course, Harry felt bad— he had found himself drawing within himself, pulling away from those closer to him. He doesn’t open up anymore, while he used to share how he was feeling, what he was thinking, with Hermione, Ron, and even Ginny, after they’d gotten together, he’d stopped. He was no longer allowing them in, he was closed off.
He saw the contempt in Ron’s eyes when he looked at Harry, and maybe that was a trick Harry’s mind was playing, maybe Ron didn’t blame him for getting Fred murdered. But it didn’t stop Harry from blaming himself.
“Harry?” Hermione’s voice pulled Harry from his thoughts, his eyes snapped up to hers. “What?” He asks, closing the book he was ‘reading’. Hermione sighed, collecting the books she’d been looking through. She looked at him, studying his face— both her and Ron could tell he wasn’t the same, but that’s what a war does to you. “We changed,” she said, referring to their robes, “you should do the same, we’ll be at school soon.”
Harry glanced at Ron, they had changed. “I thought 8th years didn’t have to wear uniforms?” He asked, Hermione shook her head, “for dinner tonight and classes you do.. well, depending on the class.” She said, “some teachers don’t require it.”
Harry was standing in the middle of the Gryffindor common room, staring up at a picture. A picture of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, put up during the restoration of the castle. There was a photo of Harry, next to a photo of James and Lily on the other side of room, near two windows. He couldn’t handle looking at any of the pictures, not even the one of himself.
He was smiling, a real, genuine smile. His hair was unruly, as always, his tie was undone, and his white dress shirt was wrinkled and not buttoned all the way. This was his 4th year, the photo was taken to send to Sirius, who’d asked McGonnagal for a picture.
Harry felt like that kid, the 14 year old in that picture, was dead. He’d been dead since they had to run from Bill and Fluer’s wedding, maybe before that. He’d never get that back, the genuine smile, the light in his eyes. It’d be gone, for good.
He turned around, going upstairs to the dorm, for the very few people who came back to finish their education. He found his bed, laying down with his head in his pillow. He took a deep breath, sitting up, pulling off the robe and kicking off his shoes.
He laid there until he heard people flood into the room, everyone went silent when they’d seen him. He looked at them, studying the expressions of the people who stared back at him. Nobody seemed happy, or interested in Harry’s presence, and many of them seemed angry. They all resumed their conversations, and began getting ready for bed. Harry looked at the bed, his eyes studying the satin gold pillows.
He changed into sweatpants and a random t-shirt, he laid back down and looked off at his trunk. “Harry,” he heard Ron’s voice, Ron and one of the other boys had switched after much persuasion from Ron. “Are you alright? You missed breakfast.” He said, laying in his own bed and looking across at Harry, who nodded. “I’m okay, I just wasn’t hungry. You know? I had a snack on the train. Candy spoils your appetite.” He says, of course it wasn’t a lie, he did have a bunch of candy on the train— and he wasn’t Ron, who could eat a bucket load of candy then fill his stomach with actual food.
Ron hums, “if you’re sure.” He mumbles, “but you’ve gotta eat breakfast tomorrow morning, before Hermione loses it.” Harry nods, turning over and closing his eyes. “I know, but I’m not her.. ah, charity case. And I know you’ll say that’s not how it is, and she’ll say that’s not how it is.. but that’s how it feels. I don’t need either of you checking in on me every second of every day, I know I’m not doing great. But I eat, I keep up with my hygiene, and I’m working on my mental health.”
Ron opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and just whispered, “right.. sorry mate, just.. worried for you. I’ll talk to ‘Mione.” He heard a soft ‘hm’ from Harry and assumed that was the end of the conversation.
And it was, the two of them fell asleep shortly after they ended their conversation.
Turns out, maybe the Golden Boy wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, it didn’t matter how much money or fame Harry had.
He wasn’t happy, nobody spoke to him outside three to four people, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Luna. Neville writes every once in a while, but he didn’t come back for their 8th year, so he doesn’t speak to him that often.
He was blamed for countless deaths, after simply wanting to help these people.
Next time, maybe he won’t help.
He hopes for everyone’s sake, there isn’t a next time.
Chapter 2: Turn Against Me
Chapter Text
Harry was sitting in the Gryffindor common room, reading some source material for his Muggle Studies class. He's passing, living around them all his life came with some perks for some particular classes. Muggle Studies being one of those classes, Hermione was next to him reading a book on charms. He closed the book he was reading, setting it on the end table, “are you done with studying for the night?” Hermione glances at him, bookmarking the book she was reading. He nods, “I wasn’t exactly studying, just reading rubbish I already know.” He says, standing up, “Ron wanted to talk to me, so.. I’m gonna head to the lake to meet him.”
“You were supposed to spend time with Ginny, right? She was wondering what time–?” Hermione asked, only for Harry to shake his head and started to leave the common room, “not at all. I didn’t say tonight, I said Saturday. I’m still trying to settle and get myself situated in my dorm.” He says, “we’ve been here for over two weeks, you can’t still be settling in, Harry.” Hermione looked at him, he scoffed, looking back at her. “I had to move out of my original dorm room, because everyone told Professor McGonagall they felt uncomfortable staying in the bloody room with me, Hermione!” He said, “they felt uncomfortable with me being in the room because I am the cause of their families death.” He adds, “do you understand that?”
“I have to settle in a dorm room, my own room because nobody wants to be around me.” He says, “nobody– they all told Professor mcGonagall that they’d feel better with me out of their dorms. So, I have to stay in a dorm by myself, meaning I have to get the room situated.” He adds, “even Ron said he felt uncomfortable with me in the room!”
“You don’t know if Ron said that or not, you can’t assume he did, maybe the majority ruled.” Hermione said, standing up, “how do you know?” She asks, walking over to him and putting a hand on his shoulder, “he told me, Hermione. He was uncomfortable with the tension in the room, every room I walked in, they were angry, uncomfortable, angry. And honestly? I’m perfectly fine with that, they only wanted me when I could give them something.” Harry said, shrugging her hand off his shoulder, “I have to go, ‘Mione.” He turned and left the common room, walking down the hallway and out the front doors.
People there for their 8th year don’t have a strict curfew, but they have to be in the castle by 10:30 and in their common rooms by 11:30. Harry walked down to the lake, Ron was already waiting there, he was leaning back on a tree. There were three other people there, one person Harry recognized as Luna Lovegood, a good friend of his. And the other was harder to make out, they were wearing an emerald green hoodie with the number 3 on it, he squinted his eyes to see the name on the back of the sweater, Malfoy.
Normally, Harry would be disgusted or angry upon seeing the man, but now he doesn’t really care. Draco hasn’t been much of a problem, he ignored the boy and walked over to the tree Ron was leaning on. “Ron, you wanted to talk.” Harry said, looking down at him, Ron looked up, clearing his throat and getting up. “Right, yeah.” He said, “it’s about Ginny, you’re breaking her heart, Harry. Usually she doesn’t talk to me about this kind of something, being her older brother and he boyfriends best friend–”
“Best friend but you couldn’t tell me you felt uncomfortable with me in the dorm instead of going with Seamus and Dean and what’s his name to go behind my back and get me moved out of the dorm? I had to wait for a week to get an actual dorm because everyone kept saying they didn’t want me in the dorm!” He says, “but yeah best friend.” Harry said, glaring at Ron– maybe he was a little harsh, and still very aggravated at this fact, but could you really blame him? “Don’t start that, I wanted to tell you, I asked to talk to you but you always had something else to do, you were always looking at those portraits. I get you miss them, but come on, you’re pushing us away to spend hours looking at the portraits.” He says, “I’m sorry for your loss, but everyone here lost something or someone, but what’s important is that you talk to someone to get better.” Ron said, “and this isn’t about you moving dorms, it’s about Ginny.” He says, “you’re leaving her with nothing, she wants to spend time with you, but you keep pushing her away– pushing all of us away. And you need her, Harry.”
Harry stared at him, “no, Ron, I don’t need her. She can’t help, there’s too much to unpack, I’ve talked to her about it.. But I don’t want to dump all of this mess on her. I’m sorry, Ron. But honestly.. I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship at this very moment.” Ron stared at him, “Harry, you don’t have to make that decision just because I said something, all I said was make time to spend with her. You should need time to be with her, get back in the swing of things, how it was before.” Ron said softly, but Harry only shook his head, “Ron, I’d rather let her go then keep her in a relationship with someone who isn’t there mentally. It’s detrimental, and I don’t want to hurt her like that. She means too much to me, believe it or not, I really do love her.” Harry tells him, a hand resting on the tree beside them. “And for the sake of our friendship, I feel like I need to let her go.”
Ron sighed, just staring at him. “Fine, if you think this is best, okay. I won’t hold it against you, you know what’s best for yourself.” He walks past him, patting his shoulder. He mutters a simple, ‘goodnight’.
Harry stood there for a couple seconds, turning to look out at the lake when he heard his name being called, then someone sat next to him, “Harry, hello.” It was Luna, he hummed and looked over at her, Draco was standing on Luna’s left. “Hello Luna, how are you?” She hums, picking some dandelions in the grass, “perfect. I’m quite alright. Draco’s mum has taken in me and my father after the war. Which my father is grateful for, seeing as our home had been destroyed by Death Eaters.” She told him, putting the flowers in Harry’s already unruly hair, Harry glanced up at Draco, who was just watching Luna.
Luna had always been one to overshare when she was comfortable with you, so Harry felt honored when he was told details about her life. She was comfortable with him, and that meant a lot to him– now more than ever. “Harry?” Luna said, Harry looked back at the water, “yeah, sorry. Did you say something?” She hummed softly, grabbing a flower and putting it in his hair. “How are you? You seem.. Very troubled.”
“I’m not–”
“I wouldn’t even try to lie to her Potter, it doesn’t work.” Draco said, “as long as those flowers are still going in your hair she’s got no issue continuing to question you.”
“I will stop!” Luna argues, “but it seems like he needs someone to talk to.” She looks at Harry, who sighs. “Friends, problems with my friends. Or lack thereof. Things have been rocky between me and Ron lately, since the war ended. He just said something, and I know he was stressed but it got to me.” He told her, picking at the grass, she hums, “what did he say?”
“He was anxious— about his family, he had said he listened to the radio every single day making sure he didn’t hear his family's names. I had to, listening for his family, and the closest person I had to my parents. He said I didn’t know what it was like, because my parents are dead.” He paused, “I have no family. But every second, I was praying I didn’t hear Remus’s name, and maybe he’s not my parents, but he was family. He was always family, even when I didn’t know it, in the years I got with him and Sirius they were the best, closest family I had.” He tells her, sighing before continuing on, “they told me stories about my dad, and they weren’t great people in Hogwarts, but they grew up and tried to be better.. then everything happened, the war and all that.” Luna looked at him, she didn’t have a look or pity on her face, she didn’t look at him like his friends did, like he was some charity case. “He was wrong for that, Harry. Really. He shouldn’t have said that, stress or not, he was wrong.”
Draco hummed, “as much as I’d hate to agree with Luna, she’s right, that was fucked up.” Harry laughed, looking at the grass, “well, it’s gotta be if you’re on my side.” He said, hearing a slight scoff from the blonde, “it’s you or Weasley, must I express my distaste for him?” He asked, “no, seven years of dealing with your distaste and I’m just about done with that.” He said, a playful scoff following. “You know, Harry,” Luna started, “you could always sit with myself and Draco at lunch, if you ever need space. Draco doesn’t talk much. We normally eat in silence, so it’d be nice if I had someone to talk to.” Harry looked at her, “I might just take you up on that offer later this week. Something tells me what I’m going to do is going to drive a wedge into my relationship with my friends at the moment.”
“What do you plan on doing?” Luna asked, her hands finally resting at her sides. That’s when he realized Draco had moved to sit in front of the two, he was now picking dandelions and braiding them into Luna’s long blonde hair. He’d realized he’d also become a victim of Luna’s flowers, seeing small pink petals all over his hair.
“Leaving Ginny, I don’t quite think I’m ready for a relationship, she deserves someone who can give her what she needs, and right now, that isn’t me. I don’t know if it’ll ever be me.” He said, studying how Draco’s face looked when he was relaxed, not worry etched into the crevices of his face. He’d noted that his hair had grown out a bit, but still wasn’t unruly and all over the place. It looked soft, silky– he had grown to just below his ears, and Harry could tell he stopped putting mass amounts of gel in it to hold it back nicely. It still looked done just not nearly as ‘put together’ as it had looked before. Harry had wondered if Draco would keep letting it grow out, he liked how it looked longer, it fit him better than shorter hair did.
“Harry.” Luna said, poking his side, “stop staring at him and answer the question.” She said, Harry looked at her, “what? I zoned out.” He said, “when do you plan on doing this whole breakup thing with Ginny?”
“Probably tomorrow. I don’t want to lead her on more than I already have, I just– I’m not sure a relationship is good for me.” Luna nodded, Draco kept braiding flowers into her hair, pretending to be uninterested in the conversation at hand, although he was secretly very happy that he was leaving Ginny, it meant that after he’d gotten through whatever was going on in that, irritatingly handsome, head of his, Draco had a chance. I’m
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cassarollii on Chapter 1 Mon 27 Jan 2025 11:45PM UTC
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4y3a21 on Chapter 2 Tue 08 Jul 2025 03:10PM UTC
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