Fruits of Corruption 2: Apex Predator (Helluva Boss x OC)

by Lordofvillains2023

Summary:

he's known as hells ultimate hunter, the red eyed reaper, the blood soaked butcher but few people know the real Rayden Blackveil. finding himself in the employment of I.M.P Rayden sets off to settle the scores of sinners as well as a decades long vendetta against those who wronged him.

This is a sequel to my Hazbin fic Fruits of Corruption so please read that first if you haven't already or else risk spoilers and lack of understanding

I don't own any content from hazbin hotel or helluva boss or any art or songs I might use just my oc's

Chapter 1: Pilot

Blitzo: Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... *looks at Moxxie* Moxxie, Rayden.

Moxxie gives him an incredulous look in response. While Rayden Rolls his eyes

Blitzo: Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?

Millie: *eyes sparkling* What about a car wash?

Blitzo: This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay?

Rayden: we 'remove' the competition?

Blitzo: pretty sure that would create more problems and a shit ton of paperwork. Wh- Ooh! What about a billboard?

He waves his hands with an enthusiastic flair as sparkles fly out.

Moxxie: *rolls eyes* We can't afford a billboard, sir.

Blitzo: *wraps his arm over Moxxie's shoulder* Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. *pushes Moxxie away* Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?

Blitzo turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Blitzo whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Loona swings a man back and forth in her mouth, Rayden slicing a person into meat cubes and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs. Then, it zooms out to everyone watching the TV, with Loona, Millie, and Blitzo eating popcorn.

Blitzo: Ahh, those were the good times.

Rayden: remind me why did I partake in that wreck exactly?

Blitzo: because you're our resident badass. You get us publicity

Moxxie: I don't need any reminding, sir. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches.

Rayden: except those with a murder kink

Blitzo: Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!

Millie: People love musicals, sir.

Blitzo: Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doin' a musical. *does jazz hands* Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?

Moxxie: Sir--

Blitzo: 'Cause, right now? All I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside.

Rayden: if it's a drama queen I assure you you've succeeded in living your truth.

Loona snickers

Blitzo: see mox that's a proper employee right there!

Rayden: that wasn't a- nevermind

Millie: Are you tryin' to crush his dreams, Moxxie?

Moxxie: I-- What?

Millie: *flirtatiously* I thought I knew you.

She playfully sticks her tongue out at him as Moxxie blushes and rolls his eyes affectionately.

Blitzo: I can't believe you, Moxxie! After I made you employee of the month!

Moxxie: *defeated* Okay, sir! I'm sorry; a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody actually likes the jingles!

Millie: I liked it.

Moxxie: Do not-- Do not agree with him in front of me!

Rayden: I didn't mind it that much either

Moxxie: how?!

Rayden: years of being exposed to a musical obsessed royal has made me develop taste...it's painful

The scene cuts to the I.M.P. commercial.

Blitzo: Hi, there! I'm Blitzo! The "o" is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P.!

He gestures to the logo as it appears on screen, then disappears.

Two pictures of Blitzo in different scenarios show while he speaks. The first shows him wearing two top hats through his horns, a monocle, and twiddling a fake mustache, while standing outside of a burning building with a sign that reads "Orphanage for Elderly Blind Newborn Dogs" appears. The second shows Blitzo wearing an angel costume at a coffeehouse happily throwing an empty coffee cup in a trash can, instead of the recycling bin right next to it.

Blitzo: Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to Hell or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by someone else?!

The commercial cuts to a demon guy wearing an Ohio sports jersey, giving a testimonial, while Blitzo holds a cardboard sign in frame that reads "Some guy who hired us!!"

Demon Guy: After lovingly killing my wife for *in demonic voice* fucking the delivery man, *normal voice* you can imagine my surprise when I wound up here, after the state of Ohio killed me! I really wish I could stick it to that *in demonic voice* yappy jogger *normal voice* who saw me hiding the body!

Blitzo is speaking to the camera and holding a grimoire, while Moxxie and Millie are arranging lit candles on the floor in a pentagram. While he speaks, his eyes narrow as he does a magical gesture with his hand and a flaming portal appears on the floor. Moxxie and Millie run off in surprise. He tosses the grimoire away as he walks up to the portal.

Blitzo: (to camera) Well, luckily for you. Thanks to our company's special access to the living world, we can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive! *falls backwards into the portal*

The scene transitions to a person with their arms crossed and a thought bubble appears depicting another person being crossed out as the commercial jingle plays in the background.

Singer: ♫ When you want somebody gone, ♫

A dead body falls near the person as they notice and look up.

Singer: ♫ and you don't want to wait too long ♫

Moxxie, Blitzo, and Millie are shown in a circle logo. Blitzo holds his arms out as Moxxie holds up his rifle and Millie holds up her spear. A letter "I" appears to the left of them, while a letter "P" appears on the right of them. The trio together form a letter "M", thus spelling the initials I.M.P.

Singer: ♫ call the Immediate Murder Professionals! ♫

Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie are inside of their building and Moxxie throws a grenade out the window. The trio cover where their ears would be as an explosion goes off. A severed arm goes flying.

Singer: ♫ Hand grenade or cyanide, ♫

Blitzo is shown hanging someone with a rope as Millie finishes writing a suicide note.

Singer: ♫ We'll make it look like suicide ♫

Blitzo is shown electrocuting someone, Millie is shown hitting someone on the head with a mace, and Moxxie is shown strangling someone.

Singer: ♫ The Immediate Murder Professionals! ♫

The I.M.P. logo spins around quickly as the scene transitions to Blitzo creating a portal to the living world in a wall, then jumping through it. He is followed by Rayden then Millie and then Moxxie, who trips over the grimoire and falls into the portal.

Singer: ♫ We do our job so well, ♫

The team come up through the other end of the portal and adjust themselves.

Singer: ♫ Because, we come straight out from Hell! ♫

They suddenly look shocked as it appears they have accidentally teleported to a church in the middle of a service. Rayden pulls out a gun

Rayden: No witnesses

Millie is shown struggling to remove a knife from a naked couple who are in 69 position, while Moxxie tries to look away, and Blitzo examines a pair of panties.

Singer: ♫ We'll kill your husband or your wife ♫

Blitzo stabs someone toed to a chair repeatedly in the head while sporting a goofy expression.

Singer: ♫ We'll even let you keep the knife ♫

A quick sequence then shows the trio assassinating their targets in numerous horrific ways, such as with a medieval torture chamber, riding a shark, burning someone alive, suffocating someone with a pillow, playing on a grand piano after it crushed someone, and using an electric chair. In the final scene, the four of them are hiding in a bush in a park and Moxxie is about to shoot a blonde woman looking at her phone from behind.

Singer: ♫ We're the Immediaaaaate... Murderrrrrr... Profession-- ♫

Moxxie accidentally shoots a boy passing by, eating an ice cream cone.

Eddie: AUUUGH!

The boy collapses as Moxxie looks on in shock. Blitzo and Millie turn their eyes to Moxxie in surprise. Whereas Rayden was unfazed

Cuts to a hospital operating room. The boy is wheeled in on a hospital bed by a doctor, a pink-haired nurse, and a blue-haired nurse.

Pink-haired Nurse: (in masculine voice) Doctor, he's not responding!

Blue-haired Nurse: Cool water, stat!

The pink-haired nurse whacks the boy in the face with a bucket of water, doing nothing but leave a large welt on his face.

Blue-haired Nurse: It didn't do anything!

The boys tongue flops down from his mouth.

Doctor: Dammit! I'm not losing another one.

Everyone has their defibrillator paddles over the boy.

Doctor: CLEAR!

They all zap the boy and he wakes up.

Eddie: *gasps*

Doctor: Holy shit! It actually worked.

Blitzo, Millie, Moxxie and Rayden are waiting outside the boy's hospital room. Blitzo is reading a magazine, while Millie comforts Moxxie, who looks devastated. The doctor comes out of the room with a clipboard.

Doctor: He appears to be in stable condition, but he'll need surgery. Now, what insurance provider do you freaks have?

Blitzo: The fuck is insurance?

Rayden: basically if you get hurt people give you pity money

A shot of the outside of the hospital is shown, as a window breaks and the boy's hospital bed flies out. The boy is unconscious in the bed, while Millie, Moxxie, and Blitzo are holding on for dear life as they plummet screaming to the ground. The bed is stopped by a rope that has become tangled around Blitzo's foot. Blitzo slams his face into the bed, the rope snaps, and they all continue to fall.

Rayden descends slowly holding an umbrella in a Mary Poppins fashion covered in blood having killed the doctors.

A still shot of the I.M.P. logo is shown.

Singer: ♫ Kids die for freeeeeee! ♫

The scene cuts back to the boardroom. Millie and Moxxie are sitting across from Loona, who has her feet up and is watching a video on her phone of Moxxie getting hurt.

Moxxie: I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple.

Loona: Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie.

Moxxie: YOU sit! Sit on... a... and the... d-- DO YOUR JOB!!

Blitzo: Hey, now. We don't blame our screwups on Loona, okay?!

Blitzo hugs and nuzzles Loona, who snarls at him in response.

Blitzo: She didn't do anything wrooooong~

Moxxie: ...Are you kidding me, sir? She's awful!

The scene cuts to a flashback of Loona at her desk, reading a magazine called "Hellhound Monthly". While Rayden has his back against the wall as he adjusts his mechanical arm her desk phone rings with the sound of a cute puppy barking as the ringtone. Loona answers.

Loona: Hello, I.M.P.

Millie: (on phone, panicked) Loona, I got stabbed! Call Mox--

Loona suddenly hangs up, disinterested in the conversation.

Rayden: shouldn't you at least tell Moxxie she called?

Loona: she'll walk it off

Rayden: eh fair point

Next, she is in Blitzo's office as he presents her with a gift.

Blitzo: Happy Adoption Anniversary, Loonie! I got you a little somethin'.

Loona: Is it a cure for syphilis?

Blitzo: I... Oh...

Loona: *snatches the present and angrily slams it on the floor* THEN, I DON'T WANT IT!

A large swarm of spiders suddenly emerge from the present box and swarm Loona up to her neck.

Loona: UGHHH!

Blitzo: *suddenly hiding outside of the office window* I'm sorry! It was spiders!

Loona: (annoyed, deadpan) Goddammit.

Rayden passes by and snatches a spider with his tongue swallowing it whole

Loona is then shown at her desk, watching an online video of Charlie performing "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow". Moxxie approaches her with a flyer for "Chub B Gone".

Moxxie: Um, e- excuse me. Did you just fax me an ad for weight loss?

Loona: No.

Moxxie: Wha-- Why- Why would anyone send me this?

Loona: C'mon... *looks up at Moxxie* You know why.

The next scene shows Loona rummaging through the break room fridge.

Loona: Whoever left the fucking... avocado salad in the fridge, I'm taking it, because I have the worst hangover right now!

Loona turns around to face Millie with a red box in hand as she shuts the fridge door with her foot. She rips off the lid and drinks the salad.

Millie: Why would you drink on a work night?

Loona: *stops drinking* I'm hungover from this morning, dumbass!

Moxxie enters the room and notices Loona with his box.

Moxxie: Isn't that my lunch?

Loona: *drops the box on the floor* Y'know what?! I can't take this assault right now! I need to blow off some fucking steam!

Loona runs out of the break room and out into the street.

Loona: AAAAAAAAAAH!

Loona runs up to a succubus lady passing by on the other side of the street, pushing her baby in a stroller. Loona kicks the stroller high into the air and storms off, while the demon lady stands there in disbelief.

The scene changes to Loona siting on the couch as Rayden bursts through the door

Rayden: one of you has taken by second favourite pistol. Confess now or face the consequences

There is silence as Moxxie, Millie and Blitzo stare at Rayden confused

Rayden: yeah, thought that'd be the case. So, I coated the pistol in a very contagious disease so the thief should be vomiting in 3, 2, 1-

Moxxie proceeds to vomit onto the floor

Rayden: ah I see *cracks knuckles* I believe a long 'talk' is in order

Moxxie: wait Rayden- *Rayden grabs Moxxie and drags him off* NO IT WASN'T ME!! SIR HELP ME!

Blitzo: sorry Mox shouldn't have taken Ray's property

Rayden freezes and turns to Blitzo

Rayden: what did you just call me?

Blitzo: *gulps* oh uh nothing?

Rayden: I see another 'talk' is necessary

Rayden uses his mechanical arm to fire a grappling line that ties Blitzo up before dragging him and Moxxie off through the door both clawing the floor in fear

Once they're gone Loona pulls out the pistols wearing a rubber glove twirling it

The scene transitions to Loona at her desk, telling Blitzo about a caller.

Loona: Bliiiitzo! That clingy, rich asshole is on the phone! Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you! Sounds a little DTF-y.

Cuts to Blitzo Rayden and Moxxie standing by a water cooler.

Blitzo: Oh, GOD, it was one time! If I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, none of us would have access to the living world.

Moxxie/Rayden: *stares in stunned silence* ...You what?

The scene cuts to a flashback of Stolas sleeping naked in bed. He is hooting like an owl and there are feathers everywhere. Blitzo, who is partially nude, walks away quietly with the grimoire in hand.

Blitzo: *to himself* Got the booook, got the booook! Got this fuckin' heavy book!

Blitzo reaches Stolas' balcony and lays the grimoire on the ledge. Grunting, he attempts to step up on the ledge using the grimoire. Instead, the combined weight sends both him and the grimoire falling forward off of the balcony.

Blitzo: Oh- Oh, SHIT!!

Blitzo lands on the cake that Stella, Aamon and their friends are having, splattering pieces of it all over them.

Blitzo: Sorry, I fucked your husband.

The scene cuts back to Loona at her desk.

Loona: BLIIIITZO!

Blitzo: I HEARD YOU ALREA--!

The scene cuts to Blitzo in his office, talking with Stolas, and playing with a bobblehead of Moxxie.

Blitzo: Sooooo, what can I do you for this time, Stolas?

Stolas is shown talking on his phone from a fancy mansion.

Stolas: There's a political candidate causing trouble up on Earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people global warming exists!

Blitzo: Doesn't it?

Stolas: Well... yes. But, more people die if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here~

Blitzo: Okay, well. Yeah, that makes sense.

Stolas: (through phone) You know what happens when I'm lonely, Blitzy?

Blitzo pulls his phone away and talks to himself.

Blitzo: (under his breath) God-fuckin'-dammit.

Stolas: When I'm lonely, I become hungry. And when I become hungry, I want to choke on that red {bleeped) of yours... {bleeped) your {bleeped) and lick all of your (bleeped), before taking out your (bleeped), and (bleeped) with more teeth until you're screaming (bleeped) like a FUCKING baby--!

Blitzo, who's visibly disturbed, scene pans to his with Stolas name listed as "creepy mouth (aka one night stand bird dick) as he hangs up, He snaps his cellphone in half, smashes it with his desk phone, tosses said desk phone away, pulls out a blender, puts the cellphone pieces in it, and blends them. Blitzo turns and hands the blender to Loona, who was standing nearby.

Blitzo: Eat this!

Loona drinks the blended cellphone mixture.

Blitzo: And then y'know that bridge over the freeway?

Loona: Yeah?

Blitzo: Shit off it!

The flashback ends

Moxxie: and then there's the matter of Mr. Blackveil and how he goes overboard with killing anyone who's so much as glimpsed us regardless of if they're the target to not! As well as his attitude towards most of us!!

Rayden: *glares at Moxxie* and?

Moxxie: (scared) *gulp* it's very...efficient

Blitzo: Look, Loona and Rayden are valued members of our family, and we don't get rid of family.

Rayden: family is a weakness. I'd ditch you all if someone paid me enough

Moxxie: We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat him like some kind of celebrity and you treat her like she's some troubled teenager! They're more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones and a serial killer constantly intoxicated

Blitzo: That is offensive! Without homeless and addict people, I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life!

Blitzo puts his face up against the window, cracking the glass, and sees a homeless demon, looking sad and holding up a sign that reads "Monee helps. Satan bless." A succubus is on her cellphone and turns away from the hobo. Blitzo smugly waves at him, before lowering the window blinds.

Moxxie: While we're on the subject of "family", can you stop finding me and Millie outside of work?

Millie: Come on, sweetie! It's not that big a deal!

Moxxie: Excuse me...WHAT?!

The scene cuts to a flashback of Moxxie and Millie preparing dinner in their kitchen.

Moxxie: Honey, can you get me the butter?

Millie: Sure, sweetie.

Millie opens the fridge door and finds Blitzo inside as he hands her the gross, viscous butter.

Blitzo: Spoiler alert: the butter's spoiled!

Millie: *giggles*

Moxxie: *throws the diced carrots into the soup* What's funny, honey?

Blitzo: Really impressive wordplay.

Moxxie: WHAT THE--?! WHY ARE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE?!?!

Later that evening, shows a building, Inside their Moxxie and Millie are asleep in bed. The former is tossing and turning as the sound of a cat purring can be heard. Moxxie opens his eyes and sees Blitzo standing on him, looking him right in the eyes.

Blitzo: Whatcha dreamin' about?

Moxxie: I was dreaming my parents were being murdered, but now... I'd like to go back to that.

In the next scene, Moxxie is singing the end of "Oh, Millie", as Millie joins in on some parts.

Moxxie: ♫ Of all the imps in Hell, it's for her that I fell ♫

Millie (joins in): *harmonizing* ♫ It's for him that I fell ♫

Moxxie: ♫ Oh, Millie~ ♫

They close their eyes to kiss, but Moxxie notices Blitzo outside the window holding a camcorder.

Moxxie: Are you fucking filming us right now?!

The flashback ends as we cut back to the board room.

Moxxie: Just... stop... doing that!

Blitzo: *shrugs* I don't see what the issue is! There somethin' you don't want me seein'?

Moxxie: *eye twitches in anger* No!

Loona snickers at the same time as Blitzo talks while Rayden groans in annoyance

Blitzo: You a baby-wiener-haver?

Rayden: oh god please don't reproduce one of you is already enough to deal with

Moxxie: Sir, what you say and how you act is totally *stands up from his chair* INAPPROPRIATE!

Millie: *lays her hand on Moxxie's shoulder* Calm down, Mox! You're gonna have another panic attack!

Moxxie: I AM CALM!

Moxxie starts whimpering in anger while looking back at Blitzo

Millie: *comforting Moxxie* Shh-shh-shh. There, there.

Blitzo: Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff you do outside work hours. So, don't... judge me!

Moxxie: Oh, I do judge you, sir! Quite a lot, actually!

Millie: Mox, he's our boss!

Blitzo: No-no-no, it's fine Mills, your husband is just... how do I say this without being offensive? retarded.

Moxxie: how come you never torture Blackveil like this?

Blitzo: seriously Mox? Look at the man he's fuckin terrifying you're like a weak rodent

Rayden: a submissive weak rodent

Loona: must be the only reason he's got a wife

Millie: No, it's not, you *deeper tone* BITCH! *flips Loona off*

Blitzo: Do not talk to my receptionist that way! She's sensitive!

Loona: Yes, I am!

Rayden: how is being called a bitch an insult to you? you're already a hellhound

Loona: YOU shut up!!

Rayden: if only I coulld

Eddie: (offscreen) You guys are all fucking assholes.

Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Loona and Rayden's eyes all widen in surprise. They look at Eddie, the boy Moxxie accidentally shot earlier. Eddie is lying on a table with three wires from a heart monitor attached to his stomach.

Rayden: oh, fuck off kid

Blitzo: yeah you're lucky to witness this!

Moxxie: Ugh, this company is such a mess!

Blitzo: Alright, let's get back to talking about my outfit.

Loona: Nobody was talking about that!

Blitzo: Which is why I'm tryin' to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?

Rayden: eh 6/10

Eddie: It's been a literal hell * having to pretend to be paralyzed so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me! But now I want that. I want death!

He points at Blitzo.

Eddie: You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid! We're supposed to like clowns! Even the creepy ones!

Moxxie: Hey, now! That's not very--

Eddie: If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit.

Millie slams her hand on the table, the other gesturing at Moxxie.]

Millie: That's my husband you're talkin' to!

Eddie: *laughs* That's your husband?!

Moxxie and Millie snarl at Eddie.

Eddie: I figured you for a slut. But, I didn't know you needed dick that bad! *points at Rayden* And you!

Rayden: go ahead I guarantee there's nothing I haven't heard before

Eddie: you just look like you're overcompensating for something with all that brooding and grumbling you john wick wannabe.

Rayden: that...actually cut surprisingly deep. Wow

Eddie: and you *points at Loona*

Loona: What? What about me?

Eddie: Nothing. I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person.

Blitzo: Wow. Ah, y'know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit.

Everyone, in unison: *softly* Yeah. He's kind of a piece of shit.

Loona's eyes widen as she receives a text message.

Loona: Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client! Guess he was the right target after all.

Blitzo: Who?

Loona: Him.

Eddie: Me?

Loona: Yup.

Blitzo: They wanted us to kill an actual child?

Loona: That's what they're sayin'.

Rayden: blitz?

Blitzo: yes mr. badass?

Rayden: can I have this one?

Blitzo: go nuts

Rayden then unsheathes his katanas and instantly leaps onto Eddie like a feral animal and begins mauling him as blood and limbs are thrown about the place all while Loona records the whole thing

Blitzo: (voiceover) Y'know, folks? With this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same things anyone else can. Like killing people!

Blitzo and Moxxie are shown wearing full hazard gear, dismembering Eddie's body with a hacksaw and chainsaw respectively. Blood splats on the screen again, then shows the group by a dumpster putting Eddie's body parts in a garbage bag.

Blitzo: (voiceover) So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money... is gone and you're never getting it back, and you can write us a bad review but we'll play dumb to it, because it's Hell and no one fuckin' cares. We also have Rayden Blackveil in employment, and he'll fucking destroy you

As Blitzo does the voiceover, he hugs Rayden, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona, the latter's phone flying out of her hands. While Rayden looks disgusted

Blitzo: Y'know, even though this kid was a target... he's still a child. And it's important that *wraps his tail lovingly around the group* we handle this going forward respectfully.

The group all smile as the scene cuts to a newscast, showing Eddie's mother tearfully holding up a bad drawing of her son. A male news reporter holds a microphone up to her, looking disinterested.

Eddie's mother: *sobbing* Please! If anyone has seen my little Eddie, please contact us at—*Eddie's bloody body bag suddenly falls into her arms. * OHHH!

Eddie's mother and the news reporter look up in shock as the camera follows their gaze. Blitzo, Moxxie, Rayden and Millie are shown looking down on them through a portal.

Blitzo: You're welcome!

Rayden: your kid was an asshole

The group disappear in the portal as it closes.

 

Chapter 2: Murder Family

Mrs. Mayberry: *narrating* I was a good person, before it all went down... I was good my entire life.

The scene opens with a shot of a red school house. Birds fly in the background. "Learning is fun" is written on the side of the building. There are trees and a playground. A bell on the roof rings. Mrs. Mayberry opens the classroom curtains, revealing two birds singing on a tree branch. Inside the classroom, Mrs. Mayberry writes "Good morning!" on the blackboard.

Mrs. Mayberry: Good morniiing!

She twirls around and catches her piece of chalk.

Mrs. Mayberry: I hope you all did your homework!

Several smiling students nod in a dance at their desks. A brown-haired boy wearing a dunce cap spins on a stool and faces the wall.

The Teacher's Song begins.

Class: ♫ We love to do our homework, and we love our teacher, too! ♫

Mrs. Mayberry: ♫ Then, when I throw out these fun questions, you should know just what to do! ♫

Class: ♫ Okay! ♫

Mrs. Mayberry: ♫ Two plus six is... ♫

Class: ♫ Eight! ♫

Mrs. Mayberry: ♫ And good behavior's... ♫

Class: ♫ Great! ♫

Mrs. Mayberry: ♫ And now, it's that part of the class when we say the time of day and date! ♫

Blonde boy: ♫ It's nine in the morning... ♫

Girl 1: ♫ On January 8th! ♫

Girl 2: ♫ The sun is out smiling! ♫

Dunce boy: ♫ And it's your husband's birthday! ♫

The class sings "la la la" while Mrs. Mayberry faces the board. She drags her piece of chalk in a line on the board, the piece almost gone. Her face is beaded with sweat and her eye twitches.

Mrs. Mayberry: *faces the class* Oh my stars! Stop singing, children! Hush up, now!

The class falls silent.

Mrs. Mayberry: I forgot it's my husband's birthday! I didn't get him anything special!

Girl 2: Maybe if we call him, we could do a happy birthday surprise!

Scene cuts to a bedroom. "Wifey" appears with a ringing telephone icon on a computer screen. A sock lands on a corner of the computer followed by a pair of underwear. Giggles and an "Oh, yeah!" and "Not there, not there-" come from the room. An unused condom hits the screen and accepts the video call as Mrs. Mayberry's face appears from the other, while the sound of a squeaking bed is heard. Back in the classroom, her face turns red in anger and then shock as she stares in bewilderment. The children stand behind her with concerned, fearful looks.

Her face blank and in shadow, Mrs. Mayberry stands up and walks away.

Girl 2: Wait! Mrs. Mayberry! *grabs hold of Mrs. Mayberry's arm* Remember what you taught us? Think before you act.

Mrs. Mayberry grabs hold of the girl's neck and tosses her through the roof. She walks out the door.

The children scurry to the window to see Mrs. Mayberry drive through a white picket fence in her green car. The children head back to the computer to watch.

Jarold: Okay- (offscreen) *notices Mrs. Mayberry* Oh, shit! Sweetie, what are you doing here?

Mrs. Mayberry: (offscreen) Shut up, Jarold!

A woman's screams and shots are heard.

Mrs. Mayberry: (offscreen) You scream like a bitch!

Dunce boy cowers in his seat as the sound of a chainsaw is heard. Blood splatters against the computer screen as the children stare in horror.

Jarold: (offscreen) Oh, god! What have you done? Sh-She had a family!

Mrs. Mayberry: (offscreen) *sobs* We could've had a family!

Gunshots are heard and several children look away in disgust. Mrs. Mayberry wipes away the blood from the screen. She looks frazzled at her students.

Mrs. Mayberry: Oh, dear God. What have I done...? In front of you all! *sobs* I'm so sorry, my children! Don't forget to work on your times tables!

Another gunshot is heard and the children faint on the floor one by one.

Mrs. Mayberry: *narrating* You do everything right in life, play by all the rules... and still get sent down here with all the Hitlers and Epsteins of the world!

The camera lowers to show a pipe and fossils underground, followed by hanging stalactites. The camera stops at the outside of the I.M.P. building. A shot of the door reads "I.M.P Headquarters" with "Meeting in progress :)" on a taped piece of paper. Blitzo is seen on his office chair looking bored while Rayden is leaning against the wall listening to Mrs. Mayberry as a shadow silhouette of her paces the room.

Mrs. Mayberry: After one measly massacre propelled by blind rage. So, that's why I'm here.

Mrs. Mayberry turns around, revealing her demon form. Her face is partially shadowed by blinds. She holds a cigarette in her hand.

Mrs. Mayberry: To get my revenge.

Blitzo: I mean, was she hotter?

Mrs. Mayberry glares at Blitzo with an incredulous look on her face.

Blitzo: *smirks* I'm just saying, I had a hard time understanding the unprompted melodrama you just spat at me, tits.

Rayden: she doesn't want any unfinished work and wants to kill and make suffer the root cause of her misery

Mayberry makes a gesture to Rayden meaning "he gets it"

Blitzo: Anywayyyy, I don't think you quite understand how we're operating down here.

Blitzo stands up and Mrs. Mayberry glares at him.

Blitzo: See, we take revenge out on the living, and it sounds like the core cast of your sitcom of death...

Mrs. Mayberry clenches her fist. Her red aura glows again.

Blitzo: ...frankly are all probably down here in Hell with you. Boop!

Blitzo boops her on the nose.

Mrs. Mayberry: *clenches her claws* Not... all of them. That whore survived.

Rayden: sorry she's still alive after you shot her point blank?

Mayberry nods

Rayden: she a cannibal or something?

Blitzo: how does her surviving make her a cannibal?

Rayden: cannibals have this quirk of surviving fatal blows and walking off like nothing happened

Blitzo: please I'm sure she needed at least years of Phys ed and surgery to function again!

The camera zooms up to a hospital bed with a bandaged blonde woman recovering. The room is filled with colorful bouquets of flowers. The woman's children and husband are by her bedside.

Woman reporter: How does it feel to have survived such a crazy bitch?

Martha: I just hope that sick woman finally found peace.

Woman reporter: You are so brave. Here's two million dollars!

A golden check slowly moves toward her.

Martha: *innocently* Ohhh! Thank you!

Cameras flash as Martha smiles by her husband.

Martha stands with her husband Ralphie and their two children in front of a house by a lake, surrounded by a picket fence.

Mrs. Mayberry *narrating* Between the talk shows and the donation bullshit, she made so much goddamn cash... getting shot was the best thing to happen to her!

Scene cuts to Martha standing at a podium with "VNN" on it. A news reporter holds out a microphone among several other microphones.

Reporter: You're a hero!

Martha is then seen jogging with a dark-skinned woman with blonde hair.

Jogger: You're a hero, girl!

in a grocery store, a boy wearing a beaver-skin cap talks with a cashier lady named Brook.

Martha's son: My mama's a hero!

Cashier: She is a hero!

Ralphie and Martha have sex in a bedroom and he grunts in pleasure.

Ralphie: *grunts* You're a hero!

An old priest is seen with his hands folded in prayer by church doors. Martha stands next to him with her hands folded.

Priest: You're a herooo!

Martha is then seen standing at the front of Mrs. Mayberry's old classroom. Another teacher introduces Martha to the class. "How to deal with trauma 101" is written on the board.

Class: You're a hero!

Martha smiles as she is given anal sex from another man.

Man: *groans* You're a hero!

Back in Hell, Mrs. Mayberry's purple fists create cracks on Blitzo's desk as she smashes down on it.

Mrs. Mayberry: *shouting, her voice echoing* SHE IS NOT A HEROOOOOO!

She leans in close to Blitzo's face, her face red with anger while Rayden was holding her back

Blitzo: *frightened* Mm-hmm. Yeah! Okay, yeah, my thoughts exactly.

Rayden: please restrain yourself woman

Blitzo rapidly presses a red button from underneath his desk. A red light flashes by a label reading "Deranged client." The other labels read "More coffee," "Soiled my pants," "Horny client," "Client giving birth," "Ghost," "Angry Rayden" and "Stolas."

The camera moves to Moxxie, who is holding a black and red crossbow in his hands. In front of him is a picture of a smiling family: a father, a mother, a baby and two children. His arms are shaking as the pointer hovers around the man's crotch area.

Millie: Moxxie, stop shakin'! You're gonna shoot our only hellhound!

Loona lies on a gray couch and holds up the family picture in one hand and her phone in the other. On the wall are drawings of Blitzo in a horse shape and a drawing of Robo Fizz with an arrow sticking out from it.

Loona: *sarcastically, deadpan* Wow. I feel soooo loved here.

Millie: Just take a deep breath, *inhales* and let it out!

Moxxie: But... it's a family! i know Blackveil would have no issue with it but under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?

Millie: I mean, if that's what the client wants.

Moxxie: Maybe like a shitty dad. Or a mob family. *speaking with a stereotypical Italian accent* That's understandable. *speaks normally* But to eradicate an entire innocent—seemingly, in this instance—upper middle class family bloodline?

Loona looks at the picture as she thinks for a moment.

Loona: Hey! You don't know they're innocent! *points to the boy* This kid probably sets dogs on fire, *points to the girl* maybe this girl gets off to bullying Australian kids online, *points to the father* and this guy... This guy definitely watches.

Millie: Exactly! Humans are full of secret nasties. It's why so many of them end up here.

Moxxie: But—

Millie: Guilty and innocent aren't our business, Mox. *cups Moxxie's cheeks as she shakes them* Killin' who we're paid to is our business. Shoot the target. *kisses him*

Moxxie aims his crossbow.

Moxxie: I just think it's a bit excessive, and we could be a bit more selective, is all.

Blitzo barges into the room followed by Mrs. Mayberry.

Blitzo: Guys! I want you to meet—

A startled Moxxie accidentally fires his arrow and it ricochets around the room. Millie jumps into Moxxie's arms as the arrow hits a computer. The arrow then flies and creates a hole in the family picture that a stunned Loona is holding. The arrow hits the bottom of a tank with eels and the tank starts to wobble dangerously. The arrow flies toward Mrs. Mayberry, but Rayden catches it with one hand.

Blitzo: ...our newest client!

The eel tank falls down. Glass and water spill on the floor. The eels fall out and bursts into electricity, setting the room on fire.

Blitzo: Damn it, Moxxie! I just bought those eels!

Rayden: rest in peace Gus

Outside the building, imp firefighters carry the eels away and head into a red fire truck. Mrs. Mayberry drives off in a yellow taxi cab as Blitzo waves goodbye.

Blitzo: Byyyyye! And, don't worry, we'll get that skank in less than twenty-four hours or your first kill is freee!

Blitzo waves as the car drives away.

Moxxie: When did we start implementing that deal?

Blitzo turns with a glare to Moxxie.

Rayden: when you set fire to our fucking office and killed Gus you ignorant rat

Rayden grabs Moxxie's face and pushes him away.

Blitzo: Someone PLEASE tell me that fancy book is still intact!

Loona: You mean... our only ticket to the other side? *pulls out the grimoire* Yeah. Got it.

Blitzo: And that's why you're my favorite, Loonie. * baby talk voice* You get a tweat, now!

Blitzo holds up a dog biscuit to her.

Loona: Ew. Stop.

Blitzo throws the treat into the air and catches it with his tongue, like a frog. He pulls it into his mouth and chews.

Loona: *slams book close* You're so gross!

Millie draws a pentagram with chalk on the wall. It glows red and creates a portal to the human world.

Blitzo: Awwww, stop it. I get enough of that from my therapist.

Loona rolls her eyes and leaves. Blitzo puts his hand on Moxxie's face, who struggles to walk to Millie.

Rayden is seeing holding a large case

Millie: what's the case for?

Rayden: this is my cannibal kit it'll make sure the lady stays dead

Moxxie: I highly doubt that's gonna be necessary

Rayden: it will be

Moxxie: why- why do you even have something like that?

Rayden: when I was alive a local sheriff hired me to kill a family of cannibals by the last name of Sawyer. Bullets and limb decapitation proved ineffective so I had to get creative with a chainsaw they had lying around.

Moxxie: why is every story about you so disturbing?

Blitzo: great now that we got that out of the way let's go lick some ass!

Millie: The expression is "kick some ass"... Blitzo.

Rayden: personally, I've always used the term "gut some ass"

Millie: yeah, no

Blitzo: Mine's better.

Blitzo walks through the portal.

Moxxie: *sighs* Aww, fuuuck...

Moxxie walks through the portal. The four stand in front of a small red house by the lake as the sun sets. Blitzo and Moxxie lean against the side of the house, rising from bushes. Blitzo stands up and peers into the window.

Blitzo: That's gotta be her. *chuckles darkly* This is too easy. Moxxie, do you want this one?

Moxxie: Me?

Blitzo: Yeaaaah, this one's simple enough for you to handle.

Moxxie stands up and peers through the window. His faces falls as he looks at the family having dinner.

Blitzo: It's just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital.

Martha and Ralphie affectionately rub each other's noses. Martha holds a dinner platter in her hand. Moxxie hesitates at the window.

Blitzo: You snooze, you lose, Mox!

Martha's face is seen in a reflector, her doe eyes wide and blinking innocently.

Blitzo: Aaaand I've got ya, bitch.

Moxxie: Wait... Are we actually killing a family?!

Blitzo: No, don't be a puss. We're just killing a mother.

Rayden: and then everyone else after, in an hour or so

Moxxie: what!?! Why!!?

Rayden: anytime a singular family member dies another gets batman syndrome and sets out for revenge. It's a pain to deal with so it's best to kill everyone now to be safe

Rayden sets the case down

Blitzo: hmm he makes a point

Moxxie: but they might not

Rayden: but they might

Moxxie: but they might not

Rayden: but they might

Moxxie: but they might not

Rayden: we can keep this going back and forth it's not gonna change

Moxxie struggles to resist repeating the cycle

Moxxie: but they might not

Rayden: gotcha

Moxxie sighs in defeat

Rayden: plus, she cheated on her husband there, so we're sparing them the pain of learning the awful truth.

Blitzo: another great point

Moxxie swipes the case away agitating Rayden

Moxxie: But... Ho- Hold on, hold on! Let's just think about it.

Moxxie lifts up Blitzo's gun as he fires. The bullet hits a glass mirror inside the house. All four family members gasp in fear.

Martha: What was that, Ralphie?

Ralphie: I dunno, Martha! But, whatever it is...

He grins evilly as he stands up holding a rifle in his hands.

Ralphie: ...they're gonna be tomorrow night's dinner!

Martha sets the platter on the table and pulls out another rifle. She drinks a glass of wine and smashes it onto the floor.

Martha: Alright, kids! Guns out!

The boy pulls out a small gun from his beaver-skin hat. The girl pulls out another rifle. All of them have evil grins of sharp teeth.

Ralphie: Looks like we got some rabbits to catch, young'uns! *chuckles darkly*

Rayden peaks through the window and notices various body parts around the room

Rayden: CANNIBALS!! I FUCKING CALLED IT!!

Blitzo: What the fuck was that Moxxie?!

Moxxie wheezes anxiously, eye twitching. He lets out a croak with his snake-like tongue out. He then falls to his knees, hands over his face.

Moxxie: I'm sorry. They just seemed so wholesome and happy.

Rayden: chimps look wholesome and happy but that doesn't mean they won't maul you, you idiot!!

Tears fall from Moxxie's eyes as he takes more breaths.

Moxxie: I panicked!

Blitzo: Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie?! From the moment of birth, you're already a parasite leeching off your momma's tits!

Blitzo leans in and pokes Moxxie's head.

Blitzo: Get the FUCK over yourself, you baby dick prune!

A blast shoots through the wall and hits Blitzo in the arm, black blood flying out.

Blitzo: AAAAH! A new hole! SCATTER!

Blitzo and Millie flee the scene and Moxxie hides in the bushes while Rayden grapples himself into a tree. Another hole appears and part of the wall explodes. Ralphie and Martha grin and leap through the large hole with guns drawn.

Moxxie peers out from the bushes and rapidly looks around. A child's hand grabs Moxxie by his tail and he yelps.

Rayden: *groans* idiots, all of them

He then vanishes into the darkness

Ralphie fires at Millie who flips backwards and dives into the lake.

Ralphie: Where'd you go, little critter?! Y'all can't hide long from me!

Millie is seen with her head above the water under the dock. A knife is in her mouth. Millie breaks through the dock and lands on it, with her knife and a grin. Ralphie swings a glass bottle and Millie runs behind him out of the way. Millie jumps up in the air, knife in both hands. Ralphie swings his bottle upwards, knocking Millie in the head. She cries out and falls to the ground. She struggles to stand, but collapses onto the dock, unconscious. Her eyes twitch. Ralphie smiles evilly down at her as the cloudy sky spirals red.

Moxxie opens his eyes and gasps with a squeak to find himself tied to a stitched up dead body in a chair. Moxxie's face falls in fear as he looks at the girl and boy. Both their eyes are red and devious sharp grins form on their faces.

Moxxie: Oh! Well, hello there, little ones. Aren't you cute?

Both kids speak in low creepy tones, the boy finishing seconds after the girl, speaking instantly after Moxxie.

Kids: It's nice to have a new critter to play with.

Moxxie glances up in fear at a red light above him. The light reveals a human head high up and several limbs on plaques. The wooden walls are stained with red blood. Two plaques hold stitched up faces of skin. A larger plaque displays a dead man with long white hair, arms crossed, eyes and teeth bulging out. His upper chest is connected to the plaque. A picture frame made of bones reveals another face made of skin inside it. Human skin is tacked to the wall with "Bless this mess" stitched onto it. Moxxie looks and sees a dead human body on a platter in front of him, an apple in the human's mouth. Organs are in a nearby bowl.

Moxxie: Ohhhhh... fuck Blackveil was right!

The scene cuts to four gunshots ringing out in the woods. Blitzo dashes through a bush. Martha's evil laughter follows as Blitzo runs through the forest. He slides down a hill and catches his breath at the bottom.

Martha: *in a sing-song voice* I know you're hurtin', little devil!

Blitzo takes deep breaths as he leans against a tree. His eyes go wide as he covers his mouth. A silhouette of Martha is shown walking through the woods.

Martha: *in a sing-song voice* I promise, that I can make that pain go real quick! Just come let Mama Martha put a bullet in your pretty little skull!

Blitzo sighs in relief before his phone lets out a yelling ringtone. Blitzo pulls out the yellow cell phone and it flips through the air. The phone has "GFY" written on it with a laughing devil emoji on it.

Blitzo: Dammit!

Blitzo tries to grab hold of the phone eventually doing so, then he holds it to his ear.

Blitzo: Stolas! This is a really bad time.

Stolas is shown in his palace relaxing in a bathtub. There are candles with blue flames around the tub. The floor has glowing astrological symbols on it. The curtains look like the starry night sky. Glowing constellations float around the room. Stolas holds an old rotary phone to his ear, in the shape of sunflowers.

Stolas: Mmmmm, when isn't it a bad time, Blitzy?

Blitzo: What is it?!

Stolas: I've been meaning to follow up on our last little conversation regarding my grimoire?

Blitzo's angry face appears in a bubble.

Blitzo: What did you just call me?!

Stolas pops the bubble with his finger.

Stolas: My book, Blitzy. The book I was given to do my job? That I have allowed you to use to do yours?

Blitzo looks scared as a rifle clicks. A bullet flies through the tree where Blitzo was moments before. A shadow of Martha with red eyes and mouth appears through the hole.

Martha: I can HEAR you, darlin'!

Blitzo: Shhhit!

Stolas: Anywhooo, I have been thinking. You know, I have been... permitting you to access the mortal realm less than... legally for quite some time now, but I do need it back to fulfill my duties. I was thinking, what if we worked out some kind of exchange? Favors for favors?

Scene cuts back to Blitzo running through the woods. A bullet hits a tree and Blitzo duck behind another one.

Stolas: Doesn't that sound...enticing?

Blitzo: You gotta stop using your fancy ass rich people talk, okay? I'm trying to concentrate on not getting fucked in my A!

A bullet hits the tree that Blitzo is hiding behind.

Stolas: Then, let me keep it simple: Once a month, on the full moon, you return the book to me, followed by a night of...paaassionate fornication~

Stolas leans slightly over the edge.

Stolas: Aaand you get to keep it all the rest of the time, hmm? Sound fair, my little Imp?

Blitzo: Fine! Whatever!

Stolas: *through the phone* Ohhh, Blitzo! I'm so excited! I cannot wait to feel your slimy (bleeped) inside of my (bleeped). To (bleeped) the—

Blitzo drops his phone as he is pinned to the tree by the butt of Martha's gun. Stolas continues talking on the phone through censored bleeps.

Martha: Gotcha! So, you're a little devil, huh? Come to drag me and my kin to Hell? Well... NOT TODAY, SATAN! Gonna send y'all back where ya came from!

The scene shifts to Moxxie, who struggles to free himself from the rope, his hands tied behind his back. He looks up and gasps as he sees fires being lit from outside. A hangman's noose hangs from the wall.

Moxxie: Millie!

Both kids stare at Moxxie with wide evil grins. Moxxie grunts and struggles again. He notices the girl pull out a sharp knife. He looks at the blade and then glares with determination. The girl raises the knife

Rayden's goggles ignite with his silhouette behind the kids.

He grabs them both like stress toys and flings them to the back.

Rayden: you so owe me for this

Moxxie: yeah fair enough

He starts to untie Moxxie before handing him his gun

Blitzo: *sighs* I had that fucking shot. God dammit, Moxxie!

Martha: Satan! We return your FILTHY creatures back to the pits of Hell!

Martha rises her torch as Blitzo and Millie struggle to free themselves.

Martha: May the root of evil remain honoured as we continue thy WORK!

Martha grunts as she tosses the torch to the ground, where it lands under Blitzo and Millie. The flames rise up around Blitzo and Millie, but they remain unharmed.

Blitzo: Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady. Sorry, your fire doesn't really hurt us, but, I mean, I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard.

Martha: Oh. Shit. Well... I'll just shoot you in your smart-ass mouth!

Blitzo: That would be more effective.

Millie: Blitzo!

Martha laughs evilly again as she aims her rifle at the imps. Both imps close their eyes and flinch. Martha then yelps as a gunshot is heard. Martha's eye flies from her socket and she collapses to the ground. Moxxie is shown holding his gun while Rayden stands next to him.

Millie: Moxxie!

Moxxie runs over and unties the rope, freeing Blitzo and Millie.

Blitzo: You're not gettin' your goddamn paycheck for this one, Mox!

Rayden: can I get double for being right about the cannibal factor?

Blitzo: eh why not?

Blitzo falls down. Moxxie and Millie smile at each other and embrace. They both move their heads.

Ralphie trips backwards on Martha's body before fleeing the scene.

Blitzo: *sarcastically* Oh, yeah, thanks! I'm fiiine!

Moxxie: I'm sorry, sir. I compromised our objective and put us in harm's way. It won't happen again. I promise.

Blitzo pulls Moxxie into a hug.

Blitzo: Apology accepted. *speaks in a low voice* But, if you ever pull a stunt like this agaaaaain, I will have Rayden fuck you and your wife with his metal arm.

Blitzo lets go as Moxxie looks fearfully. Millie raises her arms in a cheer.

Blitzo: Alrighty! Job well done! Now let's get off.

Moxxie: Ehhhh, yeah. Give me a moment. I need to get something I left at the house.

Blitzo: Okay, fine. But, hurry up.

Rayden eyes Moxxie as he runs into the woods and follows him

Blitzo speaks loudly into the phone.

Blitzo: Loonaaaa! We're ready to come home, dear!

Moxxie runs through the woods with a determined look on his face. Stolas has continued to rave over the phone about his plans for Blitzo.

Stolas: *over the phone in the background* ... (bleeped) use while you and I and (bleeped) and jelly sandwiches all night...!

Rayden walks by hearing this

Rayden: Mastema has odd taste in friends *crushes phone under his boot*

He finds his cannibal kit

Rayden: ah there we are

The next scene shows the two kids being lifted into their father's arms in the corner of the house. Moxxie points his rifle at them. The girl and boy look scared and the girl has a teddy bear with her.

Moxxie: Don't move!

Ralphie: *chuckles* What are you gonna do little guy? Kill us?

Moxxie: I should! You people are monsters! But... you should have a chance at a life and a purpose. Look at your children. They have their whole future ahead of them! You are going to face your crimes justly!

Moxxie picks up the remote.

Moxxie: I will call your earthly authorities, and they will make sure you are dealt with fairly. I'm handling this... my way.

Moxxie presses a button and the television turns on. Moxxie looks surprised and glances behind him.

Moxxie: Oh, shit.

Moxxie glances at the TV remote, the buttons looking like eyes and a face.

Moxxie: Uh... do you, uh... Do you have a phone to summon 911?

Ralphie: *motions his thumb behind him* Yeah, it's in the kitchen.

Moxxie: Then... what is this for?

Ralphie: It's a universal remote. Got it for the kids.

Moxxie: Awwwww.

The scene switches to Moxxie arriving at the portal

Blitzo: There he is. Have a good wank-off session, Moxxie?

Moxxie: Excuse me?

Blitzo: Look, I don't care where you cum in the living world. Just come to your job on time, alright?

Blitzo pokes Moxxie several times for emphasis.

Blitzo: See you at the office!

Blitzo goes through the portal

Millie places her hand on Moxxie's cheek.

Millie: You doing okay, sweetie?

Moxxie: Better now, honey. I think I just needed a minute to process.

Millie: You have a goooood heart, honey. Just a fuzzy head!

Millie kisses Moxxie and Moxxie smiles lovingly. Millie walks through the portal.

Rayden appears from the forest and sets the case down

Rayden: *unclips his cannibal kit* so get everything off your chest? No regrets?

Moxxie: you know what? For once yes!

Rayden: ok good

Rayden pulls out a large handmade bazooka, aims it at the house and fires making a mini atomic bomb explosion

Rayden: *explosion reflects in his goggle lens* walk away from that.

Rayden walks into the portal leaving Moxxie horrified

The final scene cuts to Mayberry and the imps celebrating their victory. A white banner reads "killed the bitch" in red letters. Loona and Mrs. Mayberry are holding pieces of cake on their plates. "We did it! :)" is written on the cake in light blue icing. Blitzo has his arm in a sling. Everyone but Rayden is wearing party hats.

Millie: (excitedly) Ahhh, did you see my little Mox-Mox?!

Mrs. Mayberry: Yaaay!

Blitzo: Ohhhh, yeah!

Millie: *hugs Moxxie* We did it! Oh, Moxxie!

Blitzo: Well, here's to another mission accomplished! And Moxxie finally learned not to fuck up.

Rayden: and maybe don't doubt my instincts next time?

Blitzo: yeah, that's in the maybe pile

Millie: And killin' people isn't that big of a deal if they try to kill you back!

Rayden: I'm a firm believer in natural selection but sure

Mrs. Mayberry: That's messed up. But, I paid for it!

Blitzo: Yeah, fuck that family!

The scene changes to the wreckage of the house surrounded by police

A man covered in animal pelts and leather wearing a white hood, leans down to inspect a spray of blood left by Blitzo.

He wipes it with his finger examining it

???: poor little sinners, you never should've set foot out of hell...

He lowers his hood revealing a mask made out of a human skull

???: now you deal with me.

 

Chapter 3: Rayden's lesson 1 The Basics

Rayden stands in large a silvery training room with Carmilla Carmines daughters Clara and Odette standing across from him wearing combat uniforms

Rayden: alright carmines-

Clara: you know our names why don't you use them?

Rayden: during these sessions we will not be on a first name basis. I will address you as either carmine or combatant and you will address me as either sir or instructor.

Odette: come on ra-

Rayden's goggle lens narrow at Odette

Odette: fine, instructor

Rayden: that's better. Now your mother has employed me as your new combat instructor per our deal so every Wednesday I'll be teaching you what I know about combat and survival down to the finest detail

Clara: our moms Carmilla Carmine what in hell can you possibly teach us that she hasn't?

Rayden: missy I survived an exorcist onslaught with one arm and a gremlin on a string. I broke an angels neck with my bare hands. I could make a novel of the things your mom hasn't taught you.

Clara roles her eyes

Rayden: by the months end you'll both be on par with Denzel Washington

Odette: why Denzel Washington?

Rayden: I liked the equalizer films

The girls share a confused glance

Rayden: now in light of this being our first session we'll start with basics of hand to hand combat. *clicks a button which makes a small brick wall emerge from the ground* hellborn have heightened strength so you hit harder than a sinner would too much and you injure yourself too soft its like a mosquito bite. In other words you need to know how to punch

The girls looked very confused

Odette: we need to know...how to punch?

Rayden: did I stutter?

Clara: there's no 'correct' way to punch!

Rayden: uh yes there is?

Clara: ok smartass show us how to-

Rayden then instantly uses his non-mechanical arm to punch the brick wall making a hole through it and leaving the girls stunned

Rayden: that's how you punch

Odette: we're not going to do...you know...that. Are we?

Rayden: of course not. The wall was just intimidate you if you sassed me

Rayden brings out two large thick boards of wood

Rayden: I wanna see you deliver singular blows through these boards

The girls got to work attempting to mimic Raydens style on the boards as he provided guidance on their form and the delivery of their attacks

Rayden: the punch is the job of the bodies upper half it's the lower halfs job to keep you planted on the ground

Rayden surveyed the girls closely correcting their forms when he noticed a sloppy position

Rayden was then seen on a upper level of the room looking over the girls as they continued training

Carmilla: for a moment I thought you were going to have them go through military training of some kind

Rayden sees Carmilla come up and stand next to him

Rayden: nah that's too slow. I didn't start out with gritty challenges when I was being taught I was eased into it. if you want to get to the top you have to perfect every function of your body until it comes to you like breathing.

Carmilla: was that your training regiment when you were alive?

Rayden: pretty much. My teacher would put material in front of me and have me punch it until a hole was visible

Carmilla: and you believe you can pass that on to my daughters?

Rayden looks down and sees the girls continue to throw blows at the wood until they both make sizeable dents in the wood

Rayden: we'll find out won't we?

 

Chapter 4: Loo Loo Land

The episode opens to a shot of the exterior of Stolas's mansion at night, before cutting to the master bedroom where Stolas and Stella are asleep. A young Octavia's frightened voice can be heard from offscreen.

Octavia (Young): (offscreen) Mummy! Daddyyyy!

Stolas is roused from his sleep.

Stolas: *sleepily* Mmph. Via's calling us, Stella.

Stella: *sleepily, annoyed* You get up.

Stolas sighs and gets out of bed. He enters Octavia's room, where she is hiding beneath her blankets.

Stolas: Via? What troubles you, my owlet?

Octavia (Young): *sobbing* Daddy! Daddy!

Young Octavia climbs down from her bed and runs into her father's arms. Stolas hoists her up to comfort her.

Octavia (Young): *sobbing* I had a dream! A really bad dream!

Stolas yawns and wipes away Octavia's tear, correcting her.

Stolas: A nightmare.

Octavia (Young): *sobbing* I was looking all over the palace, and... I couldn't find you anywhere! You weren't there!

Stolas: *rubs Octavia on the back comfortingly* There there, Via, it's okay. You're okay.

Stolas summons his grimoire to him telekinetically as he walks Octavia back to bed.

Stolas: When you're scared, and you don't know where I am, you must remember...

Stolas's grimoire floats over to him. He telekinetically flips it open.

Stolas: No matter what happens to me, I will never be far away... from my special little starfire.

Cut to several years later, where a teenage Octavia is jolted awake by smashing objects and her parents screaming at each other, far less content.

Stella: (offscreen) I can't believe you slept with an imp, in OUR FUCKING BED!

Octavia, annoyed at being disturbed, gives a long groan.

Stolas: (offscreen) It was unexpected! I didn't have time to go to a motel!

Stella: (offscreen) A motel?! Like a fucking PLEBEIAN?!

Octavia grabs her phone and puts in earbuds, playing "My World Is Burning Down Around Me" to tune out the screaming as she strides down the halls of the Goetia estate,

Aamon: (offscreen) Stella, stop throwing the plants, they're expensive!!

Stella: (offscreen) then I'll throw the staff!!

In the kitchen, Stella continues screaming at Stolas.

Stella: You want to fuck this one, TOO?!

Stella grabs an imp servant and violently tosses him in Stolas' direction.

Stolas: No! Of course not!

Stella: You are a goddamn embarrassment! I'm not spending another moment looking at your pathetic, IMP-SUCKING FACE!!

Aamon then hugs stella from behind which calms her down a bit

Aamon: Stella, what are we doing?

Stella: *pout* being angry

Aamon: And what do I say anger leads to?

Stella: hmph!

Aamon: stella? What do I say?

Stella: problems

Aamon: And what don't problems do?

Stella: glitter

Aamon: and why do you wanna glitter?

Stella: because all that glitters is gold

Aamon: good girl *releases her and pats her head* now if you make your way downstairs, I brought some shit for you to smash

Stella: Does some of it-?

Aamon: yes, some of it looks like stolas

With that stella runs off excited as Aamon lights an opium pipe

Stolas sighs in exhausted exasperation before he notices his daughter has entered the kitchen.

Stolas: Good mooorning, Octavia! Did you sleep well, my owlet?

Octavia: Was that a serious question?

Stolas opens the refrigerator to retrieve a massive chunk of zebra meat.

Stolas: Mm-hmm... What's that you're listening to?

Octavia: This song is called "My World is Burning Down Around Me". (beat) It's by Fuck You Dad.

Stolas looks down, thinking the name of the band his daughter mentioned is a hurtful remark

Octavia: It's a band.

Stolas: *bemusedly* Ohhhh! How charming...

Stolas grabs the zebra meat and feeds it to a massive potted plant

Aamon: ah I know that band. They throw some good concerts *breathes green smoke*

Aamon sits next to Octavia

Octavia: Why are you here anyway uncle?

Aamon: just here to make sure this feud doesn't turn bloody

Octavia sips her coffee

Octavia: So, you think they're done screaming for the day?

Aamon: screaming yes but-

Loud crashing noises are heard followed by stella's maniacal laughter

Aamon: - your moms rage can be expressed in other ways

Stolas winces, concerned as he tries to think of a possible distraction for Via. then something comes to him

Stolas: You know what I haven't done in a long, loooong time? I haven't taken you to your favorite place in all of Hell! Why don't we go to Loo Loo Land?

Aamon: that place is a giant pool of depression mammon doesn't even bother with it anymore

Octavia: aren't you depressed already half the time you're conscious?

Aamon: touché *breaths green smoke*

Octavia: Besides, I'm not five anymore.

Aamon: thank Satan for that, you were a handful then.

Octavia shoots him a glare

Stolas: You always were so happy when I took you to Loo Loo Land! What do you say we go there again, have a day, just the three of us?

Octavia: I'd... rather kill myself.

Aamon: heh am I that bad? *breathes orange smoke*

Octavia: when you're in the public eye yes

Aamon shrugged

Stolas: Well, anything's better than staying in this house. Now, I'll arrange our security.

Stolas picks up a phone carried on a platter by his now bruised and battered servant.

Octavia: Security for a theme park?

Stolas: We are rich, and we're hot. People want our money and our bodies!

Octavia: *under her breath* Our money, maybe.

Aamon: my numerous letters from lust would disagree with you *breaths turquoise smoke*

Stolas: Now... I'm calling the only man who can f*** me!

Octavia: What...?

Stolas: Who can protect me! Us! Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know.

Octavia groans and pulls her beanie down over her eyes as Aamon pats her back

Cut to I.M.P Headquarters, where Blitzo is busy doing very important work in his office, involving crude representations of Millie and Moxxie made out of office supplies that he puppets around and speaks with. Between them is a framed photo of Blitzo with a robe pulled down off his shoulders seductively and a flower between his teeth. The text reads "#1 Bitch" with "BOSS" written in red over it.

Blitzo: *impersonating Millie* "Oh, Blitzo! You're such a good boss!" *impersonating Moxxie* "Yeah, I really want you, sir." *impersonating Millie* "Me, too!" *As himself* Let's three-way!

Blitzo lowers his "employees" below his desk to crotch level before being interrupted by the ringing of his Hellphone.

Blitzo: *angrily* WHAT?!

Stolas: *lustfully* Why, hello, my big-dicked Blitzy.

Both Blitzo and Octavia spit out their coffee and Aamon chokes on his smoke in sheer surprise.

Blitzo slams his "BOSS BITCH" mug onto his desk.

Blitzo: What--

Octavia: the--

Blitzo: FUCK--

Octavia/Aamon: Dad?!/Stolas?!

Stolas: Language, everyone!

Aamon: oh, screw you! you've heard me say worse.

Stolas:*into the phone* I have a special request~

Blitzo: Aw... Look, I just had a chemical peel. So, you'll have to find someone else's face to plant that feathered ass.

Stolas: It's for my daughter.

Blitzo: Ah. Well, make sure she washes it.

Stolas: No! No, no-no-no. my brother in-law and I are taking my daughter to Loo Loo Land, and I was hoping you brave little Imps would accompany us!

Blitzo: We're assassins, not bodyguards, 'kay? Don't invite us to shit unless someone's gonna die.

Stolas: I'll pay you~

Blitzo: Pay me what?

Stolas: Moneyyyy~

Blitzo: Done!

Blitzo hangs up and accidentally slams his phone down on the desk hard enough to smash it to pieces. After a brief annoyed glance at it, he pulls out a megaphone.

Blitzo: M n' M and Rayden get in here! We're goin' to Loo Loo Land!

Moxxie opens the door to respond.

Moxxie: Loo Loo Land?

Millie excitedly smashes her head straight through the office door's glass.

Millie: *excitedly* Loo Loo Land?!

Blitzo: Loo Loo Land!

Loona: (offscreen) SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Rayden: *appears at the door* what the fuck is loo loo land?

 

 

Cut to Loo Loo Land. A van with an I.M.P decal spray painted on the side pulls into the rather empty parking lot. Moxxie exits the van and opens the side door. A very cramped Stolas extracts himself excitedly. His daughter exits the van far less excitedly. Stolas dons an apple-themed hat and gestures toward the park gate. Octavia groans and pulls her hat low over her face.

Blitzo: hold up we got one more employee to wait for

Rayden is then seen driving into the parking lot on a motorbike

He gets off the bike and looks at the park

Rayden: looks how I imagined

Stolas: oh Mr. Blackveil this is a surprise! I wasn't aware you had a secondary employment with Blitzy

Rayden: *glances over at stolas* Stolas *glances at Aamon* vulture

Aamon: I'm not a-

Rayden: now I don't wanna be here longer than I need to, so let's go in pretend we're content with our lives then leave and forget today ever happened

With that Rayden walks into the park

Octavia: huh I like him

Everyone else followed after and caught up with Rayden

Blitzo: Now, remember: this is work and work only. Me and my crew are not here to satisfy your perverted bird needs, alright?

Octavia: *disgustedly* Hey... Dad... Do we have to--?

Blitzo: Okay, yeah. Hold on right there, sweetie. [turns to Stolas] If you try fuckin' my little ass in that park, I swear to--

Stolas: You are so cute when you are serious!

Octavia: I'm literally gonna be sick.

Moxxie: Oh, crumbs! I knew today would be a lot! What do you need?

Moxxie fishes around in a fanny pack and throws out several pill bottles as he lists off his inventory.

Moxxie: Anti-acids? Ibuprofen?

Moxxie shows Octavia several hypodermic needles of a glowing, acid green substance.]

Moxxie: Morphine?

Octavia: That was figurative, old man.

Moxxie: Oh, right.

Aamon: ooo can I see that?

Moxxie: um I suppose so but why-?

Aamon swiftly grabs the needles and injects all of them into himself making his veins and eyes glow green

Aamon: *breathes out a heavy cloud of green smoke* HAAAAAH I needed that

Moxxie looks on in concern as Aamon walks off

Millie: *excitedly* Wooooow! I haven't been to this place since I was a tot!

A large letter falls off the sign of a nearby ride, crushing the teenaged imp underneath.

Millie: It hasn't changed a bit. Ohhh! LOOK! It's Big Woobly!

Rayden: i knew barney would end up in hell eventually

Millie gestures toward a hideously malformed animatronic dinosaur, which opens its mouth and lets out a terrifying, demonic shriek.

Moxxie: That is... deeply upsetting

Rayden: ugh this starting to remind me of my last theme park contract

Millie: ooh which was that?

Rayden: Remember the Disneyland incident where a worker was on a track?

Moxxie: yes?

Rayden: it wasn't an accident

Moxxie: (scared) oh

Rayden: point being i had to go undercover as an employee for a week and it was horrible...i lost count of how many times i saw parade come by...and that fucking clock *shudders*

Millie: i like the clock-

Rayden: NO ONE likes that clock the only reason it still stands is people fear what could happen if they got rid of it

Millie: Oh, come on, theme parks are fun! You've never been here mox?

Moxxie: No. Theme parks always disturbed me, especially the mascots.

The park's mascot, Loo Loo appears out of nowhere behind Moxxie.

Loo Loo: Well, hey there!

Moxxie: *jumps back in terror* AAAAAH!!

Loo Loo: I'm Loo Loo! Welcome to Loo Loo Land! If y'all get hurt here, just try and sue us!

Rayden: *cocks pistol* Was that a threat?

Stolas: *gasps* Look! Via! It's Loo Loo!

Aamon: *gags*

Octavia: I have a question.

Loo Loo: Well, ask away, little girlie! A-hyuk a-hyuk a-hyuk!

Octavia: Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu World?

Loo Loo: *beat* No?

Octavia: This place reeks of insecure corporate shame.

Aamon: so mammons exact scent then

Stolas chuckles nervously as he leads Octavia and Aamon away.

Stolas: Why don't we go check out the rides?

Loo Loo: That chick's creepy, huh?

Blitzo: Eh, wait till her dad tries to diddle your holes.

Loo Loo: *to Millie and Moxxie* What's that mean?

Moxxie: Don't talk to me! I know you're a pervert under there!

Moxxie leaves, leading Millie off with him. Loo Loo hangs his body dejectedly.

Loo Loo: Yeah...

Moxxie and Millie head down a pathway, with Rayden following behind Moxxie, sweating profusely, stops to catch his composure.

Moxxie: You really like this place, huh?

Millie: I love this place! My parents would bring me and my siblings here when they could swing it. Money-wise.

Moxxie looks over to see a worker wheeling a wheelbarrow piled to the brim with money into a nearby gift shop. The three approach the window, where novelty cups and stuffed apples are for sale.

Moxxie: Yeaaaah. The prices do seem rather criminal. I mean, that much for a novelty cup that you use one time?

Millie: 'Cause, it's Loo Loo Land!

Rayden: this does nothing to convince me

Blitzo walks up, having loaded up on merch, including a novelty cup, as well as a hat with attached can holders and straws.

Blitzo: *nudges Moxxie with cup* Listen to your hoe, Mox.

Blitzo takes a swig from his novelty cup.

Rayden: how did you pay for that?

Blitzo: pay?

Rayden: ah

Blitzo: How 'bout me and rayden take the first watch while you two have a little *takes off sunglasses and winks*fun?

Millie: OOOOOH! We gotta do my favorite ride!

Moxxie: Oh, yeah? Wh- which one?

Cut to a shot of a lone imp riding a roller coaster named "The Lawsuit" that suddenly plunges off a sheer 90-degree drop at incredible speed while also on fire and with its rider hanging on for dear life. The coaster violently plunges into a tunnel in the ground.

Moxxie: *terrified* Oh, crumbs!

Cut to Moxxie vomiting into a trash can after having left the ride. A vomit-covered family walks by in the background, glaring disapprovingly at Moxxie. A massive dragon-like creature from the nearby petting zoo looms overhead, also glaring at Moxxie.

In another part of the park, Stolas, Aamon and Octavia walk along the path, as Blitzo and Rayden take up positions all around them, on the lookout for any danger.

As rayden walks along he sticks devices to certain parts of the park while watching for threats to the goetia

A group of imps creep up behind the booths, ropes, knives, and pitchforks at the ready. They quickly scatter as Blitzo looks in their direction.

Stolas: *strokes Blitzo's horn* You know, it's quite thrilling to see you on the job, Blitzy.

Blitzo: Save it, bitch. I'm working.

Octavia: You both need to get a room.

Aamon: or an alleyway

Blitzo: Hey, I am not a back alley day-hooker!

A woman walking nearby with her baby glares at Blitzo before continuing on in a huff.

Blitzo: What? I just said I'm not one, prude! *Flips her off*

Stolas: *gasps* Oh! Look, Via!

Stolas points excitedly at the circus tent. A demon mother is struggling to pull her crying son into the tent.

Stolas: You used to cry such tears of joy at this show!

Octavia: *panicked* Oh, no...

Cut to a flashback to Octavia as a young girl, as she is pushed against the stage by an excited crowd of imp children, as Robo Fizz sparks and cackles maniacally leering over Octavia, who soon breaks into tears. A younger Blitzo is seen in the background tending to a food cart, dressed and painted as a clown, scowling.

Cut back to the present.

Blitzo & Octavia: I hate that fucking clown.

Aamon: the real one isn't so bad

Rayden: Wait, is this thing a robot? I have a bad history with robots-

Pan to Stolas, who has been captured and hoisted aloft by the crew of imps from earlier. Stolas' arms are bound and his head is covered by a cloth sack, and the imps are pointing various weapons at him. One has stolen Stolas' wallet.

Stolas: *unconcerned* Oh, Blitzy~ I need my bodyguard, please!

Aamon: *to octavia* no offence but your dads continued survival in hell never ceases to confuse me

Octavia: the confusion is shared

Blitzo: *sigh* rayden can you-

Rayden: yeah i'll get him

One imp jumps, to try and skewer Stolas with a pitchfork. Rayden uses a katana to cut off his head, splattering Stolas's head with blood. The other imps quickly scatter.

Octavia enters the big top and finds a seat with Aamon sitting next to her. Rayden carries Stolas in, head still covered in the blood-soaked sack, sets him down, and walks off to take position. Stolas makes no move to remove the sack, until Octavia annoyedly rips it off her father's head.

Robo Fizz: *glitching and sparking* Hey-hey-hey-hey-heyyyy, Implings! It's me, the Robotic Fizzarolli! Shipped from Big Ozzie's factory to bring you a wonderful show celebrating Loo Loo Land, spelled with Os, to avoid lawsuits! H-H-H-H-H-Hit it!

 

 

 

Carnie Imp: Hello, hello! Step right up and win a thing!

Millie: *gasps excitedly* Oh, look, Moxxie! A THING!

The "thing" in question is some sort of purple stuffed penguin creature with Imp horns, wearing pink overalls. The stuffed animal is labeled with a tag that says "THING?"

Moxxie: Oh, you like that thing?

Millie: YEEEEESSS! I don't really know what that thing is but I want that thing!

Moxxie: *smugly* Ahhh... Finally, something I can handle.

Moxxie takes out some money and hands it to the carnie.

Moxxie: Okay! One game, puh-lease!

The carnie Imp rolls his eyes and uses his tail to hand Moxxie a pistol with a cork projectile in the muzzle. Moxxie does not even line up the shot, instead looking to his wife as he effortlessly hits the target right in the bullseye. Unbeknownst to Moxxie, the target barely moves. He makes a "ricochet" noise with his mouth and blows the black powder smoke clear of the gun, pleased with his marksmanship.

Carnie Demon: Ohhhh! Strike one, little man!

Moxxie: But, I hit it!

Carnie Imp: Hmmm, I don't know what to tell ya, buddy. The target, see? It didn't go down. So, yeah...! No go, bro.

Moxxie growls in anger, and fishes another bill out of his pocket. He grabs the pistol and fires another cork, hitting the target dead-center. The target does not budge. Moxxie slaps the pistol in annoyance.

Moxxie: The Heaven's wrong with this thing?!

Carnie Imp: Oh, man. A real shame, I tell ya. *mockingly cries*

Moxxie hisses in anger as he slaps another bill on the counter.

Moxxie: Another!

Cut back to the Robo Fizz show. Stolas is gleefully clapping to the music, Aamon just looks bored as smoke emits from his pipe, while Octavia has thrown her head back in torment, banging her fist on the seat next to her.

Robo Fizz & Backup Singer: ♫ --body sing along with the Loo Loo band! Ev'ry boy, ev'ry girl, ev'ry woman, ev'ry man loves Loo Loo Laaaaaaand! ♫

The show ends with a small pyrotechnic display as Robo Fizz cackles maniacally. The bear animatronic faceplants onto the stage and falls to pieces. Stolas claps and cheers even harder.

Stolas: Ah hohohoho ho ho ho ho ho, how delightful!

Behind Stolas, an imp armed with a kris dagger rises from beneath the seats ready to stab Stolas, but the top of his head is quickly blown apart by a shot from Blitzo, who has taken up a position in the gallery behind the back row of seats with rayden standing next to him while Imps scream in absolute fear and run away.

Stolas: *flirtatiously* Oh, my! What aim you have, Blitzy.

Octavia: *furious* Ugh! I can't do this anymore!

Aamon: via wait up!

Stolas: *concerned* Wait- Uh-... Octavia!

Octavia storms off, with Stolas and Aamon following behind as Blitzo cycles his rifle, and prepares to give chase after his charges.

Robo Fizz: Mua ha ha ha ha hoho-oh! Is that Blitzo my sensors spot up the-e-e-ere? I bet the kiddies are still running away from you, huh? *laughs*

Blitzo: The 'o' is silent now!

Robo Fizz: A-A-Awwwww, just like your audience always was when you to-told your lazy jokes here! *laughs*

Rayden: you were a clown?

Blitzo removes his visors and throws them on the ground as he continues his argument with Robo Fizz.

Blitzo: Bitch, I make more money killing people than you do being a cheap-ass robo ripoff of an overrated sellout JESTER!

Robo Fizz: *glitching* Oohoohoo! Someone's salty! Real or not, though, people lo-o-ove me! Does anybody love you... *low demonic voice* BLITZ-0?

Robo fizz the sees rayden who has a gun aimed at him

Robo fizz: oooo who's your friend? *the robots eyes then glow brighter*

Blitzo: this fellow is hells best hitman and chances are he'll fuck you up

Robo fizz: you don't by chance work for a certain m-masked angel sometimes do you?

Rayden: *whispering* shit

Blitzo: uh am I missing something here?

Robo fizz: you're a long way from your boss's borders. aren't you B-B-Blackveil?

Robo fizz then spins towards rayden tackling him out of the tent

Outside, Wally Wackford rolls a cart of lit torches in by the tent.

Wally: Torches, I say, I say! Get your inconvenient torches here!

Rayden grabs one of said torches and pushes it into robo fizz's face igniting the robot who just laughs as he wraps himself around rayden in an attempt to strangle him

Robo fizz: guess the angel should've kept you on a tighter leash eh? I'm happy to fill in though!

Blitz attempts to help by leaping onto robo fizz only for robo fizz to throw rayden at him launching them across the park

 

 

Elsewhere, the carnie Imp at the shooting gallery holds 600 souls of Moxxie's money, with Moxxie himself glaring at him with seething anger.

Carnie Imp: Wow! Man, you're really starting to make this sad. Y'know, if you suck, you suck! Guess you won't win your honey here a prize...

Millie: Let me try!

Millie grabs the pistol and fires a cork at a target, which misses wildly. The carnie Imp grins mischievously, and presses a foot pedal in the booth, which causes a target to fall down.

Carnie Imp: Ohhhh, look at that! Lucky shot, baby.

Moxxie: Are you kidding me?! You- you- you charlatan!

Carnie Imp: Hey, uh, get lost, pipsqueak. I'm talkin' to the lady~

The carnie Imp leans toward Millie and makes a seductive purring sound at her. Millie immediately recoils in disgust.. Blitzo and rayden come down through the roof of the shooting gallery, crushing the carnie Imp under him.

Carnie Imp: OWWWW! Oof! Auuugh!

Moxxie: *surprised* Sir?! Rayden?!

Blitzo: *dazed* Ohhhh...Hey, guys! You should probably go, uh, make sure Stolas is okay. w've... got some unfinished business to take care of.

Blitzo draws his flintlock pistol, cocks it, and fires at the singed Robo Fizz. The impact of the bullet spins Robo Fizz's head around, but when he spins his head back, he is revealed to be unharmed by the shot, having caught the bullet in his teeth. He then spits the bullet out.

Rayden: well that's just annoying

Blitzo: Oh, what a mouth!

Blitzo immediately grimaces when he realizes what he just said. Robo Fizz coils himself up into his rolling form again, charging straight at the two. they leap out of the way as his enemy hit the booth, destroying it in a large explosion. Several pieces of shrapnel and burning prizes shoot in all direction, as the camera follows the severed heads of three of the "things" Moxxie attempted to win. The piece of stuffed animal strikes a young Imp boy in the head, knocking him unconscious the second a photographer takes a picture of the Imp family.

Father: Goddammit, Nathan! You ruined another bloody photo! Why were you even born?!

At the wreckage rayden emerges with his katannas at the ready and leaps onto robo fizz impaling one of his stretchy arms as he flails around manically while rayden struggles to hold on

 

 

Elsewhere, Stolas and Aamon are still running after Via

Stolas: Octavia?

Aamon: why are teenagers *wheeze* always so quick on their feet

Octavia: (off-screen) Just leave me alone!

Stolas: Octavia!

Octavia runs into a building called the "Fun House." Inside, Stolas and Aamon are confronted with a surreal room of eyes, tubes, spikes, mirrors, and disembodied hands. They go further into the room, looking around for where Octavia could have gone. A shadow appears behind Stolas, as a random Imp jumps upon his back.

Stolas: *annoyed* Umm, I think I'm supposed to be bodyguarded right now!

Aamon: you know i could handle this-

Stolas: no, no i'm sure blitzy will be here in a minute

Aamon rolls his eyes and heads deeper into the fun house

The Imp covers Stolas' mouth with his shirt sleeve, but is suddenly shot in the head and falls to the ground. Moxxie and Millie appear in the entryway, Millie having just shot the Imp with a pistol.

Stolas: *wipes imp blood off of sleeve, annoyed* Ugh, that's better. Where is Blitzy? He's my knight in shining armor, not you littler ones.

Millie: He's, uhhhh... busy.

Moxxie: Being a fool.

Stolas: What kind of fool?

Moxxie: The "riding a destructive robot" kind.

Disinterested, stolas leaves the imps

aamon comes across a rail car with octavia in it which he climbs into

Aamon: Are you ok?

Octavia just shakes her head

Aamon: Do you want to talk about it?

Octavia shakes her head again

Aamon: hm Do you want me to just sit here while we wait for your dad?

Octavia just snuggles up to her uncles fur coat while he lights his pipe

Shortly stolas emerges from the entrance

Stolas discards the Loo Loo Land hat, which in response to his emotional state has gone from a goofy grin to a sad frown as he sits in the cart

Aamon: i'll give you two a moment

Aamon gets up and exits the room

Stolas: I take it you are... not having fun.

Octavia: *crying* I didn't even want to come here!

Stolas: I'm sorry, sweetie. I... I thought you loved it here.

Octavia: *sniffling* When I was a kid and my parents didn't hate each other... and my dad didn't flirt with some... weird red dickhead the entire time.

Stolas: I'm sorry, Via. I'm sorry for... everything... happening right now. I know it's... a lot. I, uh-- I should have listened.

Octavia: *crying* I just want to go home... but home doesn't even feel like home anymore... You ruined it.

Stolas: You need to understand... your mother and I... I just-... I felt-... She's always been... I haven't been- Ha-... We weren't in... I'm sorry, I- I- I don't have the words.

Octavia: *crying* Are you gonna run off with him? And leave me behind? Go away where... I can't find you?

Stolas: *emphatically* What? No! No, no, never. I'd never do that. Never. I think it's time to leave this place. You were right. You are too old for it, anyway.

Stolas carries Octavia out of the Fun House, as an imp grins maniacally in the space above the drop-ceiling, looking down on Stolas. The imp drops down and flicks open a switchblade.

Suddenly a hand grips the imps head as he turns into solid gold

Via and stolas turn to see Aamon putting one of his metal gloves back on

Aamon: Are we ready to leave now?

Stolas: i think we are

On the outside, Rayden finally manages to maneuver his way onto Robo Fizz's head.

He draws his katana and jams it into the robots neck making it spark wildly before gripping the head with his hands

Rayden uses his legs to push off robo fizz's body ripping off his head as it squirts oil all over him

Blitzo: YES! Atta boy rayden!! Fu-

Rayden then proceeds to bash the head against the ground until it breaks apart

Rayden: *shouting to the heavens* I AM STRONG

The imps just slowly move to the exit as rayden breathes heavily

Shortly everyone is outside the park

Stolas: So, what would you like to do now?

Octavia: Oh, can we go to Stylish Occult? They sell weird taxidermy there.

Aamon: goetia get a discount if we agree to sell our feathers for pillows there

Stolas: *reluctantly* Hmmm, okayyyyy...

Octavia: *chuckles* Thanks, dad. You're okay, sometimes.

Stolas: Thank you, Via. Thank you.

Rayden: everyone ready for part 2?

Aamon: part 2?

Rayden: mmhm *pulls out a remote* wanna do the honours princess?

Octavia shrugs and presses the button

Several explosions go off in the park as it crumbles and burns to the ground

Aamon and Octavia can't help but share a laugh at the excessiveness of rayden

Stolas: *concerned* may i ask why?

Rayden: 1. I'm not supposed to be down here so this gets rid of any evidence 2...i really didn't like this place

Rayden then walks to his bike and drives off as mostly everyone looks at the destruction concerned

Aamon: heh what a wildcard

Octavia: Can he come with us next time we do this?

Stolas: we'll talk about it

Blitz meanwhile was writing something on a list that read "NOTE: NEVER BRING RAYDEN TO A THEME PARK"

The imps collectively nod before getting into the van

Blitzo: almost worth it to see that slutty toy clown get ripped apart

 

Chapter 5: Rayden's Lesson 2 Attacking Gravity

When the carmine girls enter the room they were met but two very confusing sights

One being a large object covered by a curtain

The other being rayden wearing weighted metal boots

Odette: can we ask-

Rayden: no you may not

Odette thoughts: of course not

Rayden: today you'll learn about possibly your greatest ally in any fight

Clara: each other?

Rayden: no

Odette: a weapon?

Rayden: no

Odette/Clara: you?

Rayden: flattering but no

Clara: ok then what?

Rayden then brings out a remote

Rayden: gravity

He pushes a button and the wall behind opens to reveal 3 jet engines that blow the girls to the other side while rayden remains planted with his arms crossed

Rayden: *yelling over the engines* ANGELS HAVE THE DISADVANTAGE OF RELYING ON THEIR WINGS AS A SECONDARY MECHANISM. WE HAVE THE FULL BODY ADVANTAGE BUT NEITHER WON'T DO MUNCH AGAINST SITUATIONS LIKE THIS

The two girls share a look and get an idea

With what strength they have they jab their angelic boots into the ground anchoring them to the floor

Raydens thoughts: now they're getting it

Slowly the girls were making their way to the front one step at a time

But then rayden clicks another button and two tennis ball guns emerge from the ground and begin firing tennis balls

The girls are barraged by balls getting knocked down and blown back against the wall

The girls now thoroughly enraged rapidly move across the floor dodging the balls and kick the cannons into scrap seething

The engines then turn off and the girls hear rayden clapping

Clara: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

Rayden: in my experience in any fight you'll find the key to victory to be going primal. The cannons were a test to make sure you channeled the primal energy at the appropriate figure. And you two passed perfectly

Odette and Clara calmed down a bit knowing they had passed raydens unexpected test

Rayden: now lets kick it up a level

Odette/Clara: what?

Another wall opens reveal 6 jet engines which blow the girls against the wall with greater force

As they persevered through the challenges Rayden couldn't help but feel a unusual and new feeling as he watched the girls

What was it?

Pride?

 

Chapter 6: Spring Broken

The scene starts with Blitzo and the crew driving their gray van along the street.

Blitzo: I love this song! *poorly singing along with "Mustang Dong" on the radio*♫ You were a spicy little- uh- Demon with the- uh- bleach blonde haaaair! ♫

Loona is shown sitting in the passenger seat next to Blitzo, looking mildly annoyed at his singing. Moxxie covers the place where his ears would be in the back while Millie rolls down her window and smiles.

Blitzo: ♫ Fieeendin' for that semen when I caught your stare... ♫

They drive into an old crowded parking lot.

Blitzo: ♫ Thooought it might be love, but you went--♫

A pink car pulls into the remaining parking space.

Blitzo: Oh, shit! Fu-

Blitzo slams onto the brakes and the van skids to a stop. Blitzo turns off the radio and glares at the person in the pink car. He glances at the license plate, which reads "SUCK-4-LIFE".

Blitzo: Oh, you "suck for life", do ya?!

Blitzo pulls out a megaphone and yells into it.

Blitzo: Listen up, you unoriginal pink cum dump! You have three goddamn seconds to get your tits out of my parking spot!

The passenger steps out of her front car seat with high heels. Blitzo lowers the megaphone, shocked.

Blitzo: Oh, shit! Verosika!

Verosika blows a bubble of pink gum before it pops.

Verosika: Blitz-o.

Blitzo: I should have known you'd be here. I could smell fish for miles, which is odd. Because, I believe the nearest ocean is...

[Blitzo falls and faceplants onto the ground before standing up.]

Blitzo: ...three Rings DOWN!

Verosika: And I should have known you'd be here when I heard the amber alerts.

Blitzo: Oh, yeah? I'm surprised they let your fat ass outta rehab. I can see you're still a drunken whore, clutching onto that Beelzejuice bottle like it's the last cock in Hell!

Verosika flips her long hair back dramatically.

Verosika: They let me out because I'm still famous. And rehab is for sad, loser wash-ups.

Verosika takes a drink from her bottle and wipes her mouth with her thumb.

Verosika: So, your sister says "Hi".

Blitzo angrily steps in front of Verosika.

Blitzo: Why are you parkin' here?! This is the ONLY parking spot my company has! So take your tampon race car somewhere else!

Verosika: Actually, prick. It has my name on it.

Verosika points down to her name written in purple spray paint by their feet. I.M.P is crossed out on the ground.

Verosika: I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies in the building...

Loona: *watching from the van* No way...

Verosika: ...and they wanted to have me come in this week to lead their team during spring break.

Blitzo: A WEEK?! No, no, you are NOT parking here for a fuckin' week!

Verosika: *removes her sunglasses* Awww, you mad, Blitz-o? You gonna run off, leaving someone else to pay for the hotel room, steal their car and run...

Blitzo and Verosika: ...run three rings to Wrath and max MY credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons?!

Blitzo: Goddamn it whore, you will NOT let that go!

Verosika: Choke on a sandpaper cock.

Verosika flips him the bird and walks away while Loona fearfully lowers her head in the van.

Blitzo follows Verosika.

Blitzo: HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I'm gonna...

A towering muscular Hellhound Vortex appears behind Blitzo and growls.

Vortex: You'll what?

Blitzo: *glances around and stutters in fear* Or I'll... uh...

As he tries to find a good response Rayden drives in on his motorbike

Blitzo: ah Rayden perfect timing i need- *rayden puts his finger to blitzos lips*

Rayden: a moment *he puts an inhaler device in his mouth pumping some kind of alcohol into him* you were saying?

Blitzo: I need you to beat the shit out of this bitch!! or kill her if you're in that mood today i'm not picky

Verosika and vortex was visibly shaken having heard of Rayden through his reputation

Verosika: how the fuck did you of all people snag the fucking red eyed reaper!?

Blitzo: i'm just that persuasive

Rayden: I just needed a hobby. Wait, why am I killing her exactly?

Blitzo: she stole our parking spot!

Rayden: you want me to kill someone.....over a parking spot?

Blitzo: uh yes?

Rayden: yeah no.

Blitzo: WHADDYA MEAN NO?

Rayden: i'm not killing someone over a parking spot that's degrading

Blitzo had a look of disbelief as Verosikas smug attitude returned

Verosika: hm you sure you're the boss Blitzo?

Verosika leaves with her bodyguard. She glances over her shoulder as she flips Blitzo off.

Verosika: *looking back* Ta-ta, fuck stain.

Blitzo: Ugh, I wasted so much time with a bag of holes like that.

Loona: *kicks van door open and steps out* You know Verosika Mayday?!

Blitzo: Huh...? Oh, yeah. Her, yeah. We dated.

Millie: Was it before or after she became a pop star?

Moxxie: *opens the van door and steps out* You dated a pop star?!

Blitzo: Okay, why are you all acting like that's such a shock?

Loona: Hellooo, it's Verosika Mayday?

Millie: It's you?

Rayden: Were you blackmailing her or something?

Moxxie: I just... *scratches his head* Is she blind?? Suffering some form of brain damage?

Blitzo: Okay, look, you are all making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be. I don't pry into your stupid personal lives.

Moxxie: You do that all the time, sir!

Millie: Come on, you kinda do that.

Loona: You totally do that.

Rayden: you do try, my boss installed an electric fence ever since though

Millie: What was sex with her like?

Moxxie: *taken aback* Millie!

Millie: Whaaaat?! It's a pop star! You'd wanna know what sex with Michael Crawford was like.

Moxxie: *about to scold Millie but changes his mind* ...Touché.

Blitzo: Okay, look, let's just drop it! Millie, j- find a temporary spot for that truck. Okay, Loonie, Rayden, Moxxie, let's go handle this shit.

 

 

The scene cuts to Loona, Moxxie, Rayden and Blitzo stepping out of an elevator. Loona walks nervously forward.

Loona: Do you think they saw me? Fuck! I did my makeup shitty today!

Blitzo smiles at her with shining eyes.

Blitzo: Oh, you look perfect, Loonie! Like always~

Loona: Shut UP, da—

Blitzo looks at her with adoration on his face. Loona catches herself almost referring to Blitzo as "dad" and shoves him aside.

Loona: Urgh! Blitzo!

Rayden: Since when do you care what people think of you? You already treat the rest of us like something you stepped in

Loona checks her face in a handheld mirror, stepping over Blitzo before accidentally bumping into Vortex. She looks up in embarrassment.

Loona: Oof! Oh. Woah...

Rayden looks at both the hellhounds before something clicks in his head

Rayden: *pinches the bridge of his nose muttering* oh god please not today, not to me..

Vortex glances down at Loona. Blitzo smiles at Loona before he gasps in shock. Loona blushes and wags her tail. Blitzo then moves between Loona and Vortex, his arms out.

Blitzo: Hiiii, big man. Where's your bitch bag of an employer?

Vortex: She's in her office. There wasn't room on the second floor, so they rented one here on this one. It's cheaper.

Blitzo: Oh, COME ON!

Vortex: *scoffs* Sorry, man.

Vortex walks away.

Blitzo: *mutters* Oh, no you don't, bitch.

Moxxie: Sir... how about you let me go in and try to reason with her? I don't really listen to what's classified as "pop genre" music, so her status to me is name recognition alone...

Blitzo tunes Moxxie out with a glare.

Moxxie: In my opinion, her music is a bit derivative of-

Blitzo: Moxxie, shut the fuck up!

Moxxie: *heads over to Verosika's office* Alrighty, then.

Rayden: Wait, you sure you wanna go in there? Those are succubus they prey on people like you and you aren't exactly...intimidating

Moxxie: i don't need to be all i need to be is reasonable

Rayden thoughts: how did this guy land a woman like millie?

Moxxie pushes open the doors and goes inside. The silhouettes of Moxxie, Verosika and her gang of demons are seen through the glass window.

Moxxie: Hello, Miss Verosika, was it? I work for I.M.P, and it is actually rather important for us to retain the singular parking space we were assigned, because-

Coco: *points to Moxxie* Aw, look at the little one. He's got a wittle bow tie!

Moxxie: Please don't condescend me, ma'am. I—

Josh: Want a kissy, little guy?

Moxxie: A kind offer, but... I'm married.

Verosika: Hey... why don't you send a little message from me back to your limp-dick... boss?

The demon silhouettes bare their fangs over Moxxie to sexually assault him.

Moxxie: *screams* Don't touch that!

Blitzo: Moxxie, don't let her access any of your holes!

Rayden puts his back against the wall near the office door

Rayden: 3...2...1 *snaps fingers*

Moxxie races back into the hall, panting with his back against the door.

Rayden: What was that about being reasonable?

Moxxie groans as he walks past them, battered and shaken with red lipstick kisses all over his face.

Moxxie: *stuttering and shaken* I... I gotta go lie down... now.

Moxxie falls face-first onto the ground offscreen.

Rayden: *sigh* I'll handle this

Blitzo: finally! Fuck em up red!

Rayden shoots a glare at blitz

Blitzo: *sweating* I mean rayden!! Yep definitely said that!

Rayden enters the room making everyone in the room go quiet as he approaches verosika

Rayden: Relax, I'm not gonna massacre you. *sigh* Look I'm not one to indulge in the kind of soap opera bullshit this is becoming but this needs to stop so could you just give the imp his spot back?

Verosika: I don't know, I'm kinda enjoying how angry he is plus he kinda deserves it!

Rayden: *sigh* how about this then. We have ourselves a little competition

Verosika: go on

Rayden: you're doing a job for spring break when teen pheromones are at their peak so how about we go topside with you and see who can bag more victims before the end of the day? We win you hand over the parking spot.

Verosika: And if we win?

Rayden: *pulls out angelic pistol* i'll let you shoot blitz's dick off with this.

Verosika: hmm tempting and the sexual reward?

Rayden: sorry?

Verosika: we're succubus we need a physical reward and a pleasurable reward~

Rayden: fair enough...how about Moxxie?

Verosika: mm kinda already had a taste of him

Rayden: ok uh millie- no wait she's too loyal to the rodent...blitz is an obvious no...

Verosika: How about you?~

Rayden: never gonna happen

Rayden thought for a while before an idea came to mind

Rayden: *pulls up a picture on his phone* How about him?

The group crowds in looking at the photo with some drooling

*At a certain casino*

Jack: *shudders* i don't know why but i suddenly feel very unsafe

Back at the building

Verosika: heh game on

Rayden tips his hat to the group and walks out meeting blitz outside

Blitzo: so!? Did you set her straight?! Did you get our spot back?!

Rayden: you could say that

The two enter the office

 

 

Later at I.M.P Headquarters, Blitzo stands in front of the whiteboard. Behind him is an easel with drawings on papers. The other I.M.P members sit at a table and listen.

Blitzo: Alright, shut your assholes! Here's how we're gonna do this shit! First, we find a fuck ton of clients.

The animated drawings on the paper show Blitzo, Loona, Rayden, Millie and Moxxie standing together. A bunch of imps and clients surround them with bags of money.

Blitzo: We portal up.

Blitzo drawing snaps his fingers. The I.M.P figures fall down.

Blitzo: We have our fun murder time as per usual.

The I.M.P drawings kill off human drawings with guns

Blitzo: We pile all the bodies into a big fuckin' canoe.

The human bodies are tossed into a canoe that reads "S.S. Cum Gutter".

Blitzo: We push said canoe into some water.

Blitzo drawing kicks the canoe full of bodies away from the dock.

Blitzo: We light it on fire to attract the sharks and eagles 'n shit. Maybe a goose, too! Fuck it!

Animated drawings of sharks, snakes, eagles and creatures eat the bodies set on fire in the canoe. A large octopus chomps the entire ship and the animals.

Blitzo: They come and eat the bodies, we win the bet...

The I.M.P drawings cheer and the Loona figure wears a party hat.

Blitzo: We rub it in that sloppy bitch's drunken whore-ass face...

The I.M.P. members give a Verosika drawing several middle fingers. The Verosika drawing bursts into tears. The scene cuts back to the meeting.

Blitzo: Do you have... any questions? *throws pointer stick through a window*

Rayden: yes...many

Moxxie: Uh, yeah. Why was that nonsense?

Blitzo: *walks over to Moxxie* That wasn't a question.

Moxxie: That wasn't a plan.

Blitzo: *puts a hand around Moxxie* I'm sorry, but that was a flawless presentation of what we should do, Mox. It's not my fault you got a smooth little brain upstairs.

Moxxie: A what now?

Blitzo: I'm callin' ya slow, Moxxie. God, why don't you learn to take criticism, you *begins poking Moxxie in the chest* talentless baby dicked troll?!

Moxxie: *climbs onto table in anger* Well, why don't you *points at Blitzo and points at him* take an art class?

Blitzo: *grabs Moxxie and throws him back in his chair* Why don't you see how EXPENSIVE they are?!

Rayden: You can get lessons for free online, it's really not that hard.

Loona: Hey, is there a way I can come with you guys this time?

Blitzo: Absolutely not, I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie. Spring break is no place for young, vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of FREAKS up there who'd drool all over you!

Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona simultaneously break the fourth wall by glaring disapprovingly at the camera.

Loona: Well, I can blend in with humans easy enough. Just let me tag along.

Blitzo: Wait, say that again.

Loona: I can... blend in...?

Loona shrugs as she inquisitively tells Blitzo that she can disguise herself.

Millie: Do you have a human disguise?

Loona: Yeah. Don't you?

The imps nervously look at each other, eyes side to side.

Loona: You four have been screwing around on Earth this whole fucking time... without human disguises?!

Rayden: well i look human enough most people assume i'm just a cosplayer

Blitzo: Okay, new plan!

Blitzo quickly scribbles on a piece of paper and hangs it on the easel. It shows Loona and rayden surrounded by humans with hearts around them.

Blitzo: Loonie and rayden can help lure the humans to us, and we'll take care of the rest. Okay, how about that?

Rayden: waitwaitwait i never agreed to be eye candy! Let alone for horny teens!

Blitzo: come on look at you, you're very desirable plus you can lure your pervs somewhere else and handle them solo

Millie: Flawless logic.

Rayden: No it isn't!

Moxxie: I think you're missing the biggest issue, sir. Isn't it crucial to have a client who demands enough kills to win this bet? We aren't just going up to massacre!

Blitzo: I got that covered, Mox.

Later, Blitzo puts up a ratty flyer reading "Spring Break Victim, 50% Off!" with drawings of Blitzo, a dead victim and horses. Blitzo walks to Moxxie.

Blitzo: Now... we wait.

Moxxie: Sir... there is no way we are going to get enough clients by the end of the day with one poorly spelled, bad grammar flyer!

Moxxie and Blitzo look to see demons lining up, including Travis, looking at the flyer. Blitzo grins smugly and elbows Moxxie. Blitzo strolls toward the other demons.

Blitzo: Now, who's first?

 

 

The scene cuts to a beach in the human world. People happily walk around, relax and talk. Blitzo, Moxxie, Rayden, Millie and Loona hide behind coral-covered rocks under a dock.

Blitzo: Now, remember, we can't be seen, alright? And loose shots will likely cause a panic, so Loona can help with leading targets to a better spot to off 'em while rayden handles his the rayden way. You two got the list?

Loona skims a long list in her hands and gives it a sniff while rayden uses his goggles to scan it and display the targets

Loona: Got it.

Loona stands up and in a swirling flash of blue light, she transforms into a human version of herself. The imps stare in shock.

Blitzo: Ohhhhh, Loonie, look at you. You look...downright awful!

Loona glares at Blitzo.

Blitzo: I am so proud. *notices rayden is hesitating* Hey rayden the cloaks gotta come off

Rayden: *muttering* this is humiliating

Rayden tosses off his cloak revealing his scarred and toned body. He'd spraypainted his mechanical arm with a tan paint and the only clothes on him are his goggles, his face mask and a speedo swimsuit

Imps and Loona thoughts: damn

Rayden: keep ogling me and i'll crush your necks like bugs

Loona peers in front of her, her target humans outlined in red in her vision. Loona smirks and strolls over to a tall man wearing sunglasses. She moves a finger toward his chest and gives him a flirtatious grin. She motions behind her and to a private alleyway. Loona leads him into the alleyway and leans against the wall. The man reaches out to grab her in lust but is shot in the head by Blitzo spying on the roof. He gives Loona a thumbs up.

Rayden on the other hand didn't need to try that hard to get people to follow him. He literally just walked past a crowd of ladies and just let their hormones do the rest as they followed him into a secluded alleyway.

blood is seen being splattering out of the alleyway a minute later as rayden emerges with bloodied hands

In the next shot, a blonde man runs to her in an alleyway with a hungry lustful look on his face. He is caught in a noose by Blitzo. On a rooftop, a brown haired man leans in to kiss Loona, but Millie knocks him off the roof with a kick. The man falls into a dumpster that Moxxie slams shut. Loona walks with a fat man down the sidewalk and a flower pot crashes into his head. Blitzo kills a woman with a knife, Millie kills a white haired woman with a spiked baseball bat, another woman gets shot in the head.

It changes to Rayden trailing his finger over a group of peoples chins who swoon. Unbeknownst to them rayden had chained them to a large boulder which he kicks into the water dragging the people with it

Blitzo and the gang put the bodies in bloodstained dark trash bags, closing them. In the background, Millie jumps on another body.

Blitzo: That's 20 kills in the bag! I like to see that waily snatch orgasm that many--

Verosika: Alright, spring breakers! Y'all ready to get fucked up and make some BITCHIN' BAD CHOICES?!

The audience cheers. A fan boy rips his shirt that has her name written on his chest.

Fan boy: Verosika!

Verosika: This is your final boarding call. All aboard~

Verosika launches into "Vacay to Bonetown". "Fuck you Blitzo" appears on the screens. Blitzo growls like a rabid animal, foaming at the mouth.

Blitzo: God DAMMIT! That bitch started her goadish mating call! Now, she's gonna win all these sex maniacs! We gotta pick things up, guys!

Rayden gives blitz a thumbs up and pours some kind of red liquid into all the peoples drinks

A vomiting blonde man is seen next to Blitzo.

Blitzo: *points to vomiting man* He on the list, Loonie?

Loona: Huh? Yeah... I- I think so.

A distracted Loona looks at Vortex guarding the stage.

Blitzo: Good!

Blitzo takes out a red and black axe.

Blonde man: Oh, whoa! What are you? A leprechaun? *laughs*

Blitzo: (off-screen) Yeah... pretty cool, huh?

Blitzo cleaves his head in half with the axe.

Blitzo: But you sure as shit ain't gonna tell nobody! Alright, next one Loonie, c'mon! Loonie? Wait, where--...?

Blitzo glances around to find Loona nowhere in sight. Her outline flashes. He panics.

Blitzo: Wha-- Wha-- Wh-- [distraught, tears in his eyes] WHERE'S MY BABYYYYYY?!?!

Millie: *Points to the stage* Look!

Loona is seen walking towards Vortex. Blitzo notices, and his fatherly dread quickly turns to seething anger.

Blitzo: rayden come on! I need a meat shield

Loona checks her makeup as two men French kissing fall to the ground at her feet, and someone offscreen throws their bikini top which lands on Loona's head.

The fanboy runs toward Verosika on stage as she sings the next chorus in "Vacay to Bonetown" but Vortex notices and punches him into the ground, head first. He drags the man away in the distance. Loona walks over toward Vortex, avoiding a French-kissing couple and tossing aside a bra, but is stopped by Josh, who smirks at her, eyebrows raised. She backhands him hard.

Verosika: Now, who wants a piece of this?!

Verosika tosses her Beelzejuice bottle into the ocean, creating a golden spillage. A catfish appears, which rapidly grows into a monster.

 

 

Loona walks over nervously toward Vortex.

Loona: *nervously* Heyyyy... you...!

Vortex: Oh, hey. You're the hound workin' for my boss's freaky ex.

Loona: Yeah. *chuckles* Sorry if that's weird.

Vortex: It's cool. Her beef ain't mine. I'm not paid enough to care.

Loona: *nervously* Yeah! Yeah. I'm Loona!

Vortex: Okay. *mimics her nervous tone and smile* I'm Vortex!

Loona: That's hot... I mean, like, literally, y'know, 'cause vortexes... y'know, they give off heat. Probably. Right? *bites lip nervously*

Vortex: Uh, yeah. *chuckles* I guess, but my friends call me Tex.

Loona: Oh, yeah? I wish I had friends. *chuckles nervously* I mean... No, I mean, I don't... I... I don't have friends.

Blitzo and rayden arrive and stand between them.

Rayden: TMI loona, TMI

Blitzo: Are we... interrupting something?

Vortex: Nah, man. Just having a conversation.

Blitzo: *pokes Vortex* "Conversation" leads to HPV!

Rayden: Does it actually?

Moxxie and Millie hide behind metal barrels.

Moxxie: And... we've lost them. *sighs* It's looking like it's up to us handle this list.

Millie: Hell yeah! Team M and M, gettin' shit done, makin' the moneys!

Moxxie and Millie run off in the sunset and kill more people starting with the ice cream shop before jumping over the rooftop to kill some more.

Loona: Blitzo, get the fuck out of here! You're gonna get us all into shit!

Blitzo: I just wanted to see what was so important that you'd be distracted from your job.

Loona: What, I can't have a break?

Blitzo: We have a parking spot on the line!

Vortex: Hey, dude. Why don't you chill out?

Blitzo: Why don't you stay out of it?! Okay, this is our business!

Blitzo holds up a drawing with his tail that shows a diagram of himself killing a human equaling money and earning money equaling a horse.

Blitzo: Literally!

Loona: *groans in frustration, fixes bangs* Fuck, Blitzo! Why can't you stay out of my face for, like, five minutes?!

Blitzo: Because, I adopted you! And that should mean something!

Loona: Oh, what does it matter?! You're not my real dad! I was almost eighteen!

Blitzo: It still counts!

Loona: Well, it shouldn't! I didn't need you then, asshole! I don't, now!

That caught raydens attention as he turned to loonas direction

Millie and Moxxie hides behind a table with steel barrels of beer. Millie loads a crossbow for Moxxie to take it. He peeks over and prepares to shoot when a human man comes over and throws the beer can down.

Skool: Wooo! Yeah! Party! Let's do thiiiss!

Skool knocks the cans aside, sending Moxxie and Millie into the air. Moxxie lands in front of dozens of people. A woman points at Moxxie in disgust.

Woman: Eggggh! Oh my god, it's a fucking possum!

Moxxie: Oh, crumbs!

Moxxie tries to get away, but one of the partygoers catches him by the tail.

Skool: I got it!

Skool picks up Moxxie and shoves him into a barrel of beer. The group cheer about "beer possum" as they take turns volleying the barrel away. Moxxie drinks the beer inside and gets drunk.

Skool: (off-screen) Beer possum! Beer possum!

Partygoer: (off-screen) Get ready to get fucked up!

Partygoer: (off-screen) Ready to get fuuucked!

Loona tries to say something to the upset Blitzo, who crosses his arms.

Rayden: hey...that was unnecessary

Loona: he-

Rayden: no. for once you're gonna listen. Let me tell you, I've seen what usually becomes of hellhounds who get close to your age and it isn't pleasant. Let me tell you you are damn lucky blitz got you out of wherever you were, gave you a roof over your head and genuinely cares for you in hell of all places. So instead of shoving him off to speak to some hired muscle, no offence.

Vortex: none taken

Rayden: how about you show some fucking gratitude?

Rayden turns and walks off with a surprised blitz

Loona: Ugggh...

Vortex: Damn, girl. That was savage. [places a comforting hand on her shoulder] You okay?

Loona: *blushes* Yeah, I'm fine. He'll get over it. He always does.

Vortex: *chuckles* I'm glad you could stick up for yourself, at least. And when the guys got the reaper on standby Mmm! Takes guts.

Loona: Thanks.

 

Millie runs behind a few stacks of beer kegs toward a wobbling barrel. She opens it and the barrel tips over. Moxxie burps as the beer spills out onto the ground.

Millie: Moxxie!

Moxxie: *drunk* Millieee! Hiiii! Hey. Hey, when did you get four heads? I wanna kiss 'em. *Makes smooching noises*

Millie picks up the drunken Moxxie. The fish monster emerges from the ocean. The humans and the succubus saw the monster. The monster crushes a relaxing human, sending blood everywhere. The humans scream and run away. Blitzo and Rayden look at the monster as blitzo finishes choking another man. The fish monster roars.

Rayden: huh mutant fish. I'll admit that's a new one

Moxxie: *drunk* Ooooh! Fish.

The monster wraps its tongue around Moxxie, pulls him closer and closes its mouth.

Moxxie: *drunk* Hehehe... Weeeeee...

Millie spots a spring breaker with a cocktail and kills him with a knife. She lights a cloth on fire and tosses a Molotov cocktail at the fish. The fish loses balance and falls down. Millie rushes into the ocean and slices up the fish's body with her knife. She pries open the monster's mouth, seeing Moxxie punching the monster's uvula. She reaches out her hand toward Moxxie, who briefly gives her a high five. She grabs hold of him and slices the tongue, freeing both of them. Moxxie smiles, closes his eyes and spreads his arms as he flies. He lands into Blitzo's arms. A human man celebrates after avoiding getting hit from the tongue, but Blitzo kills him with his flintlock out of annoyance. Moxxie laughs hysterically.

Inside of the monster's mouth, Millie punches the tongue as the monster spits her out as Millie starts wrestling with it.

Moxxie: I love that woman~ [His tail makes a heart shape.]

Blitzo: Oh, she totally pegs you, doesn't she?

Rayden jumps into the water and swims up to the creature using his mechanical arm to launch himself onto its eye

Rayden: never done this before so bear with me

Rayden then carves his way into the monster as it roars in pain before suddenly freezing and falling over

Both rayden and millie tiredly make their way back to shore.

Blitzo: Ohhhh, yeah, way to show off, you two! The fuck did you do to that thing rayden?

Rayden: went in, found the brain, found a nerve that connected to the heart and well...yeah

Millie: Is Mox okay?

Blitzo: Oh, yeah. He's fine.

Millie holds Moxxie in her arms as Moxxie grins with a doped expression.

Moxxie: *drunken* Thiiiis is funny. I'm sooooo... drinky.

Millie hugs Moxxie, happily laughing.

Blitzo: Ooookay, this is too wholesome for my liking.

Verosika: Blitz-o.

Blitzo: Oh, perfect. That must be the whores!

Verosika: That was handled rather... obvious... Don't you think?

Millie: I don't think this belonged to any of us.

Millie tosses the flask back to Verosika, who catches it, then drop-passes it to Milky.

Millie: Would be a shame if anyone found out you guys were behind a giant monster fish in the human world.

Moxxie: *laughs* Oh, Satan! You're gonna be so... FUUUUCKED! *continues laughing drunkenly*

Verosika: Yeah, well... you three nasty-ass gremlins and this sexy psychopath will be in shit for not being in disguises!

Moxxie: *faceplants into the sand* A human called me a possum. I am not a *faceplants again*possum!

Blitzo: Y'know, we could keep this little B-movie scene on the down low if you agree to let us use that parking space.

Rayden: besides we win anyway

Verosika: how?! We banged at least 40 teens

Rayden points to the side where large quantities of bodies are laying foaming at the mouth

Millie: how'd you pack that much poison?

Rayden: I didn't, I just dropped some of my blood into their drinks. I've got almost every disease circulating in my blood

Millie: Wait, Moxxie was in the barrel! Is he safe!?

Rayden: yeah he'll be fine

Millie: *phew*

Rayden: least i think so

Millie looks at rayden concerned

Verosika: ...Fine, you fucks win.

Blitzo: WE FUCKIN' WOOOOOOON!!! *laughs triumphantly*

Millie: Fuck YEAH!

Blitzo: IN YOUR FACE, BIIIITCH!

Rayden: *retrieves his phone* Hey smith? Good news, you don't have to fuck some succubuses anymore

Jack: *on phone* WHEN DID I EVER-

Rayden hangs up

Verosika: *scoffs* Come on, let's get out of here. Tex!

Vortex: Well... guess it's time to bounce. But, hey, if you're ever down to party, I'll give you a ring sometime.

Loona: Really? I mean, heh...yeah. Yeah.

Vortex: Yeah! My girlfriend throws a ton of crazy hound parties.

As Vortex mentions his girlfriend, Loona's expression shifts into dejection.

Loona: (dejected) Nice. Can't wait for my first one.

Vortex: *chuckles* Let's get you some friends, girl.

Vortex gives her a playful punch before following Verosika. Loona looks downcast at seeing Vortex leave and being reminded of her confrontation with Blitzo as well as the reveal her crush already has a partner.

Blitzo: Come on, Loonie Tooney! Let's go back and park our fat fuckin' car in our fat fuckin' space!

I.M.P go through the portal. Loona falls through the portal backwards.

Blitzo jumps up and mockingly flips the double bird through the portal, making Verosika growl in anger and her eye twitch.

Verosika and her gang huddle together in fear as the police, a clown, and a mine robot surround them, guns pointed.

Police: PUT YOUR HANDS UP, YOU SICK DEVIANTS!

Verosika: Alright, sluts. *raises her hands in the air in defeat and dismay* Get ready to suck a lot of pig dick.

Her gang all sigh and groan in disgust as they raise their hands in defeat.

Rayden: hey succubus

The group turns around to see rayden now fully dressed holding two uzi guns

Rayden: hit the deck

The group ducks as rayden opens fire on the police gunning them down with ease

He then twirls the guns back into some holsters

Verosika: why would you do that?

Rayden: well police are 70% corrupt so i didn't feel like it-

Verosika: I mean would you save us from jail?

Rayden: Well, I'd like to ask a favour. Call it a consolation reward

Verosika: *sigh* Fine, what do you want?

Rayden: These girls I'm teaching are fans of yours. So could i get a signed poster or something?

Verosika: thats it?

Rayden nods

Verosika snaps her fingers and one of her posse hands her a poster which she signs and hands it to rayden

Rayden: much obliged miss

Verosika: you know if you ever wanna get spicy at some point we're in in town all of us are available~

Rayden:.........i say this with the greatest respect but...over my hellish corpse

 

 

As the demons part ways a hooded figure wearing animal pelts spectates from a building watching as they both exit through portals

He pulls down his hood revealing his skull bone mask

???: giant fish, succubi, hellhounds. Heh this just gets better and better. You are indeed interesting prey

The figure unveils a set of angel wings before flying off 

 

Chapter 7: Rayden's lesson 3 We Are Chameleons In A Crowd

Rayden and the carmine girls are seen walking through a crowded street

Odette: what exactly are we doing in imp city's marketplace?

Clara: I doubt we're here to shop

Rayden: of course not. Today I'm teaching you how to be invisible

Odette/Clara: what?

Clara: you can turn invisible?!

Odette: *beaming* is it a cloaking device?! Or some kind of light reflector!? A disguise generator?! Or-

Rayden: I literally just sneak amongst the crowd and terrain

Odette gained a face of disappointment and shrunk to her knees

Odette: *depressed* oh

Rayden: how this is gonna work is I will vanish into the crowd an you will locate me before the end of the day

Clara: so how is that going to work? Do we close our eyes or-

A stranger walks in front of rayden when he's past rayden had disappeared making the girls jaws hang open

Clara: HOW?!

Odette: I am no longer disappointed!

The girls spend hours looking for rayden in vain

Clara: *groan* how is a guy who is dressed so uniquely so hard to find!?

Odette: hm let's try and look at this through his lens. If he wants to survey us he'd always be close by to notice any error we make but not too long that becomes too suspicious

Clara: and he'd always be moving to be sure he wouldn't be in our line of sight but enough to be within earshot of us in case anything happened

Odette: so what would make him slow down or make him easy to track

The girls think hard before something clicks

They gather some fresh fruits and head into an open space and place the fruits around them before getting a bag of tomatoes and fling them in every direction before they hear a squelching noise

They turn to see rayden holding the tomato but his boot is standing on a crushed fruit

Rayden: clever

Odette: so you were always close to us. How did we not see you?

Rayden: colleague of mine taught me how to blend in anywhere in case of public kills. It's a mix of acrobatics, bone dislocation and yoga

Odette: you need to teach us how to vanish like that because that was amazing!

Rayden: I'll look into it. Now lets head back

Clara: good searching for you is more exhausting then I care to admit

Rayden: hm. One more thing

Rayden pulls a rolled up poster from his jacket and hands it to the girls

Rayden: here you earned it.

The girls unroll it revealing it to be a signed Verosika mayday poster

Clara: how- how did you get this?

Rayden: call it right place right time. Or right gamble

Clara: well um thank you!!

Odette: hey instructor. Are you secretly a softy?

Rayden stood very silently

Rayden: I'm tolerant

Odette: uh huh sure

As the girls walk ahead rayden couldn't help but smirk under his face mask

 

Chapter 8: C.H.E.R.U.B

 

The Cherubs appear on a small, old-fashioned TV which zooms out onto the I.M.P Headquarters. Blitzo blasts the TV with his flintlock pistol, and it explodes.

Millie: Nice one, B!

Blitzo: Gimme another, Mox.

Moxxie nervously sweeps away the flaming debris and puts another old-fashioned TV onto the stand. He turns it on with a scared look on his face. The 666 News logo appears. Blitzo pours gunpowder into his flintlock.

Blitzo: Eh, nah. Not feelin' it. Next!

Moxxie switches the channel. A demonically dressed Betty Boop appears in black and white, dancing erotically with prominent, bouncing breasts, holding a pitchfork. Moxxie flinches in anticipation. Blitzo and Millie look bored.

Blitzo: Uh-huh. Keep going, keep goin', keep goin'...

Moxxie switches the channel again. Wally Wackford appears on the screen dressed in white with a black top hat, holding a cane.

Wally Wackford: I say, I say, are you lookin' to get work making crazy contraptions and goofy gadgets?

Wally whacks his cane on the wall at either side of him, producing the graphics for "CRAZY CONTRAPTIONS" and "GOOFY GADGETS" as he speaks.

Wally Wackford: WELL, call me at Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea Factory,

The Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea "Factory" ™ title appears against a similar circular background of classic old cartoons. The panel with the title then falls over forwards, landing with a bang

Wally: Where you make the things and I make the money!

Rayden is seen sat in a chair performing maintenance on his mechanical arm observing the commercial

Rayden: what an unconvincing performance

Wally moves close to the screen with a pleading look.

Wally: Please! I'm very desperate!

Blitzo: Bingo!

Blitzo shoots and explodes the TV again, scattering debris.

Millie: WOO! You're on a roll, sir!

The camera pans over to Loona, who snores and drools while sleeping in a chair. She has one foot up on the table that twitches in her sleep. A plastic cup with her name written on it and filled with water sits on the table next to her foot. She is awoken by a rumbling which also knocks her cup over, spilling its contents.

Loona: Guys... do you feel that?

Blitzo: Oh, shit! Is that a hellshake?

Moxxie: That's possible?

Rayden: unless my boss and the sins are going at it, it shouldn't be?

Millie: Alright! Don't panic, Moxxie!

Moxxie's tail stiffens from being startled by Millie's sudden outburst. She then grabs his arms in an attempt to "calm" him.

Moxxie: I'm not *holds up finger quotes* "panicking," because hellquakes don't happen.

Rayden: ah denial first symptom of fear in the fragile

Loona roughly grabs hold of Moxxie and shakes him.

Loona: STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL, FATTY!

Loona slaps Moxxie in the face, sending him flying against the wall and slightly dazing him. He is then knocked down further by what appears to be a wrecking ball made of black tubes Part of the wall crumbles on top of Moxxie, crushing him. As the dust clears, the wrecking ball untangles into multiple robotic tentacles and a supervillain-esque demon uses two of them to hoist himself into the room through the hole, covering himself with his cape. Loona growls while on all fours.

Loopty Goopty: Do not be afraid!

The man grins and extends his robotic tentacles.

Blitzo: Please tell me you got that insurance thing.

Millie takes out her black axe.

Millie: Who are you, and what do you want?!

Rayden: and what's with the excessive outfit?

Loopty Goopty extends a tentacle into a loop-de-loop and slides along it to the other side of the room.

Loopty: I am Loopty Goopty! (singsong voice) Dastardly inventor of all things loopy and loopiiiiiish!

Loona: Coulda just used the door, dude. Doesn't need to be this whole thing.

Loopty: I am eccentric and must therefore do eccentric SHIT!

Rayden: wait loopty goopty...aren't you apart of that robotics company?

Loopty: indeed my good sir

Millie: wait you know this guy?

Rayden: only by reputation. I purchased a few of his products when i was alive but last i checked weren't you...younger? Less wrinkled?

Loopty: Indeed I was which is what brought me HEEEERE!

Loona taps on her phone.

Loona: Just sayin'... the front door would've gotten you here fine.

Loopty: Shut up, dear furry!

Loona growls in anger.

Loopty Goopty appears in front of Loona and turns to Blitzo.

Loopy: (singsong voice) This is the I'm gonna need you to kiiiill!

He holds up an old photo of an old bald man in a bed. Blitzo takes the photo from him.

Blitzo: Not even a shit's length of time in Hell and already plotting revenge. I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I'm Blitzo, the "O" is silent.

Loona walks away as Blitzo walks over to Loopty and shakes his hand.

Loopty: (confused) What "o"?

Blitzo: Aww, thank you. *shakes hips* Now, what's the tea, sis?

Loopty: (even more confused) The TEAAAA?!

Moxxie's arm appears as he struggles under the weight of the debris.

Moxxie: (pained) Guys, help!

Blitzo: Yeah, why are we killin' this guy? [elbows Loopty] I mean, what did he do to you?

Moxxie: (under his breath) LOSING... OX--!

Loopty: He was... my business partner! Like the cowboy said, I was not always an old man!

Rayden: *eye twitches* cowboy?

An old film montage in brown shades depict Loopty's early life.

Loopty: My partner Lyle and I ran Lyle-Loopty Robotics, a technological empire!

Lyle and Loopty pose with capes and spiral glasses on top of a tall building labeled "Lyle-Loopty Robotics". The building is surrounded by factories and columns spewing smoke. A line of text fades into view at the bottom of the screen reads "very dramatic re-enactment from earlier that day", with a question mark at the end joining it seconds after.

Loopty Goopty: Earlier today, we were testing a new machine intended to stop, or reverse, the aging process!

The clips show Loopty putting wires together and Lyle tightening a bolt with a wrench. The two stand by a large white machine labeled "De-age-ifier." Loopty is briefly seen slapping Lyle on the ass.

Loopty: It could've saved all three trillionaires!

Cuts to the interior of the De-age-ifier machine. The handle twists and the door swings open. Cuts back to Lyle and Loopty. Lyle puts on his goggles and the two step into the machine.

Loopty: Unfortunately, we neglected to test the machine on the poor, like we usually do. We were too sure of our own genius! But the machine was accidentally set FORWARD!

Rayden: wait, why would you even include that?

The two men stroll into the chamber and close the metal door. A lever next to the door labeled "YOUNG" and "OLD" is set to "OLD" at the bottom.

Loopty: AS i was saying. By the time we managed to get out... it was too late! At least... for me!

The two men struggle to open the door, pounding on it. Both of them rapidly shrivel up and age. Loopty stares in horror at his shriveling hands. Lyle grows old and fat and slides to the floor. Loopty clutches at his chest as he suffers a heart attack, then falls dead to the ground, his leg twitching. A man opens the door, sees the two men, and motions for doctors to come in. They put a stethoscope over Loopty's heart, and they shake their heads somberly. A woman puts an oxygen mask over Lyle's nose and mouth. Loopty's body is zipped shut in a body bag.

Loopty: Now, that evil son of a bitch is going to take over the empire WE BUILT TOGETHER! Without me to share it with, he'll make all the goddamn money in the world and become the fourth trillionaire... and get ALL the credit!

Blitzo: Ehhh, that's not really evil.

Loopty: It's evil towards meeee!

Cuts to Moxxie, still stuck under the rubble. He weakly reaches his hand out for help.

Moxxie: (strained) Everything... is going... dark--

Loopty: Now, get your crimson asses up above and send that heartless, no-good son of a bitch to Hell, where he belongs!

Blitzo: Eh, y- y- y- You do know, Poopty--

Loopty: *seethes* Looooptyyyy!

Blitzo: Of course! Of course... If we do kill him, though, and he ends up down here... y'know, you will be stuck with him. Forever.

Loopty: Oh, trust me...

Loopty summons an array of weapons from his back on a series of mechanical armatures: a pistol, a rifle, a missile launcher, and a circular saw blade.

Rayden: *impressed whistle*

Loopty: I'm counting on it.

Moxxie: *strained, gives a thumbs up* That's kinda hot!

Rayden: ugh can't you suffocate properly?

 

 

Scene cuts to the I.M.P. crew except rayden wearing wigs and disguises on a tour bus. Moxxie looks through binoculars at Lyle's mansion.

Moxxie: (sarcastic) Gee! I wonder whose house this is.

Tour Guide: And to your right is the home of famous inventor, !

The crowd "oohs" and takes pictures with their cell phones. Blitzo removes his sunglasses, wearing a clown wig.

Blitzo: Let's do it, gang!

All four pull out their weapons: Blitzo a flintlock pistol, Moxxie an assault rifle, Millie two sharp swords and rayden his signature katana and pistol The group jumps over a fence and land in poses.

Millie: Let's kill this rich guy!

The Imps race over toward the windows.

Tour Guide: And here you'll find three tacky stalkers about to attempt a murder!Things like this could happen to famous people all the time!

Blitzo, Rayden and Millie dash over to the window, while Moxxie slides on his back. Moxxie peers through the window, joined by the sock puppet cat on Blitzo's tail.]

Moxxie: Wow...

Millie rayden and Blitzo then join him in looking through the window.

Cuts to the interior of the room. Lyle Lipton is lying on his bed, an IV bag attached to him. A heart rate monitor sits on a shelf next to the IV bag. A TV screen and video player sit at the other side of his bed, connected to the bed itself. Lyle is holding a framed picture in his hands, looking at it sadly.

Moxxie: That machine really did a number on him.

Rayden: sheesh this feels more like a mercy killing if anything

Zooming in, Lyle kisses the picture, his hands trembling.

Lyle: Goodbye... my one true love.

Lyle runs a finger down the picture lovingly. The picture in the frame is shown to consist of a stock image of dollar bills with a "Free Stock Photos" watermark over it. Lyle then puts the frame down and grabs the tube from his IV bag and begins tying it.

Lyle: All the riches of the world can't fill the emptiness I'm feeling now that my shitty old body can't do anything of value.

Rayden: *cocks pistol* welp might as well grant his wish!

Blitzo: hey, hey relax rayden sit back and enjoy the show!

Rayden: ugh

Lyle finishes making a noose out of the tube, pulling the knot taught.

Rayden: can i please end this?

Blitzo: it's almost there!

Lyle is about to put the makeshift noose over his head as the Imps watch with drinks and popcorn. The noose glows white and a concussive force knocks thegroup back. Blitzo's cat sock is blown away by the blast, making him sad. Lyle adjusts to the light and sees the three Cherubs floating down gracefully in three rays of light.

Lyle: Oh lord, I'm being haunted by ugly orphan children now!

Cuts to Blitzo and Moxxie recovering from the sudden blast of light. Moxxie rubs his head.

Blitzo: Who the fuck are they?

Moxxie: Oh, no! Sir, those are...

Cletus: Cherubs, Mr. Lyle!

Lyle: I hate filthy, stinking orphan children!

Collin: We're here to convince you not to kill yourself, sir. To grant you a blessing, on behalf of those in Heaven... benefited by your amazing... technological advances.

Rayden: Oh, no!! I'm not having my kill stolen by angels!

Blitzo: (angry) DAMN STRAIGHT

An angry Blitzo rolls up his sleeve, hoisting his flintlock pistol at the same time. He then marches in through the window, smashing the glass instantly.

Blitzo: Don't listen--

Misjudging where the floor is in relation to the window, Blitzo face-plants onto the floor, multiple glass shards sticking out of him. Rayden kicks the door down, with moxie and Millie peeking in.

Moxxie: Lyle Lipton, it is our--

Moxxie glances at Blitzo before looking back at Lyle.

Moxxie: ...humble opinion that you should continue the process to commit die.

Millie: I mean, what do you expect to do with all this money now you're old... and gross?

Keenie: Is that a serious question?

Rayden: what else can he buy except an iron lung to keep him more bed bound?

Keenie: He can help spread his wealth around with the people of the world! And do so much good with it! And be so fulfilled!

Lyle: Nnnno!

Rayden: why would giving away ALL his money make a businessman feel fulfilled?

Collin: He could pay for new hospitals and schools!

Rayden: not in today's economy

Lyle: Why won't you let me die?

Blitzo: Oh, sounds like ya need help offin' yourself there, buddy. Moxxie, what do we got for this fella?

Moxxie reaches into his coat and tosses a variety of weapons to Blitzo and Lyle. They each catch an assault rifle, Blitzo also catching a crossbow with his tail.

Moxxie: I have some assault weapons, crossbow, hunting bow, Tommy gun, old-fashioned shotgun, revolvers in three colors, chainsaws, katanas--

Collin: He's classier than that!

rayden points the assault rifle at lyle, before Collin takes it from him agitating rayden

Collin: There are still plenty of reasons to live, Mr. Lyle!

Millie: Yeah, right. Smells like he ain't been out of bed in months!

Millie sniffs Lyle. She becomes visibly ill, covering her mouth, and holds Moxxie by the shoulder as she vomits on the floor.

Cletus: Life can be beautiful at any age!

Keenie: And we'll show him!

Cletus, Collin, and Keenie: *cheers* Yeah!

Blitzo, Moxxie, Rayden and Millie: *yells* NOOOOO--!

 

 

The three cherubs roll Lyle in his bed outside to a hill overlooking a forest and a lake.

Cletus: Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age! *winks* Or wealth!

Collin: If you were to end your life, you'd be missing aaaaaall of this!

Blitzo appears in a tiger costume.

Blitzo: Mm-hm. You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?

Blitzo does a suggestive gesture with his fingers, indicating sex.

Keenie: *gasps* That is so inappropriate!

Millie and Moxxie appear in cat costumes.

Millie: Oh, kiss our ass, prude! *flips a double bird*

Rayden: I'm sorry, a gift? First of all nature is far from a gift. What about the nature of harsh winters that homeless experience? Or the poisons and diseases that claim lives every year. Are those gifts?

Cletus: well-

Rayden: trick question they're not. And that's not where it ends

Rayden grabs a pair of binoculars out of his jacket. Lyle looks through the binoculars and sees an adorable group of bunnies and squirrels together. The critters are suddenly torn apart and eaten by a pack of hungry wolves.

Lyle: Ohhhh, noooo!

Collin: *tries to tug his binoculars away* S-Stop looking!

Lyle: *holds onto the binoculars* I CAN'T stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now!

A bear swipes a wolf to the ground. It raises a paw to attack but is then crushed by a falling tree, cut down by a beefy logger with a chainsaw. A beehive lands on the man's head and he screams, flailing his head to get the hive off while also throwing his chainsaw into the air. The chainsaw comes back down, cutting both of the man's arms off and causing him to scream harder, before his body is skewered from behind by the antlers of a charging stag as lighting flashes dramatically.

Everyone but rayden freezes in horror, Blitzo faking it before grinning smugly.

Rayden: behold my childhood in a nutshell

Cletus: (nervously) Uhhh, let's go check out someplace else!

Millie and Moxxie bump fists, the paws of their cat costumes squeaking.

 

 

Cuts to a shopping mall. Lyle in his bed is pushed through the door hard enough to destroy both it and part of the wall surrounding it.

Lyle: Oh, Lord! Where are we now?! Let me perish!

Keenie: We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for: childhood wonderment!

Keenie motions to a crowd of kids cheering by a sitting Santa Claus. One kid wears a "Craft Mine" shirt, while another eats his booger.

Lyle: Why... look at those sweet, disease-ridden vermin. Th- Their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood... and their middle-class existence! Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. Thank you for showing me this.

Blitzo: (off-screen) Hey, dipshit!

Pans over to Blitzo and Millie dressed as elves, while a grumpy Moxxie wears a Rudolph costume. They stand by Santa with a kid in his lap.

Blitzo: Wanna see whose lap you're sittin' on?

Blitzo grabs Santa's beard and rips off the costume. "Santa" is revealed to be an ugly, sweaty gnome wearing a "#Cuties" shirt and underwear, making a gnome noise. The kids scream and run in terror. Lyle sobs like a baby as Collin and Keenie cover his eyes. A concerned Cletus pushes the bed away.

Boy: (off-screen) Santa's EVIL!

As the cherubs wheel lyle rayden watches from the wall hole as the imps walk over to him

Rayden: can i ask why we're playing therapist? Why not just shoot the bastard and go home?

Blitzo: because these angel fuckers are pushing there tiny wings where they don't belong! Getting the guy to commit suicide while they were trying to help is the biggest fuck you to heaven!

Rayden:......you're wrong

Blitzo: what!?! How am i-

Rayden: heaven doesn't help people....heaven never helps people

Rayden follows after the cherubs as the imps stare at rayden slightly confused

 

 

Scene cuts to Lyle in bed in the woods next to a crude wooden sign reading "LOVERS' LOOKOUT", a cartoon heart replacing the O in "LOVERS'". A small note underneath it, possibly written after the fact, reads "I guess..."

Lyle: Egh! This place reeks of TEENAGERS!

Cletus: Lovers' Lookout, sir! We're here to remind you about possibly life's greatestjoy of all!

Lyle: *holds up creepy, trembling grabby hands* Money!

Collin: No! Love.

Lyle: I've never been in love before. I imagine it's quite nice!

Collin: It's not too late, sir! You can still find--

The Imps arrive wearing wigs and dresses. Aside from rayden

Blitzo: HA! Nice try, ugly.

He pulls out a megaphone.

Blitzo: Hey, horny lovers! Which one of you would FUCK this old man?!

More cars drive in with audible cheering

Blitz looks confused and turns around to see he's actually pointing at rayden

Blitzo: um rayden could you...

Rayden: hm? Oh right

Rayden steps aside revealing lyle

Blitzo: i meant him!

All the cars speed away in an instant. Lyle deflates, dejected.

Collin: *gets into Blitzo's face* You know, you three are so utterly c-c-cruel! We're just trying to give hope to someone in need!

Rayden: someone in need? THIS is someone in need? This is some rich selfish prick who made his wealth off of experimenting on people he considered lesser than himself. There are thousands upon thousands of people who are in the worst circumstances yet i don't see you easing their pain! You picked him because you wanted to add to your hero complex-

Keenie: who are you to judge!? You kill people for money! you don't know the first thing about what's right for anyone!

Rayden: Except I do. Because I knew this person. This brilliant wonderful person. I know she deserved to have a brilliant life free from this kind of shit. but not once did I see you help her. In the end you're selective hypocrites no more no less

The cherubs all tense up rageful

Blitzo: You're makin' things too real now, rayden

Blitzo walks up to Moxxie with a spray bottle labeled "RAYDEN LAXATIVE", adjusts the nozzle, then sprays it into Rayden's face, causing him to hiss at blitzo

 

 

Cuts to the inside of an auditorium. A woman dressed as a Viking sings opera on stage while wearing a fake unicorn on her lower torso. A well-dressed man plays a grand piano behind her. The cherubs and the audience are also well-dressed, though Lyle only wears a bowtie over his simple, sweat-stained hospital gown.

Cletus: Behold! The wonder of art and music! Somethin' always there to comfort... entertain... and live for!

Up above the stage, the four look down from a catwalk near the ceiling. Blitzo wags his butt and tail like a cat.

Rayden: well this is just desperate

Millie: So... how do we make this bad? Rayden?

Rayden: i got nothing

Moxxie: We can't make this bad. There's literally nothing bad about opera. That's fact.

Blitzo: *shaking his butt in Moxxie's face* Unless we ruin it somehow!

With a mischievous grin, Blitzo grabs the spotlight and moves it away from the singer. The singer pauses and follows the light, resuming her song. Blitzo moves the spotlight again, and the singer again pauses to follow it.

Lyle: She's not very good.

Blitzo chuckles softly and moves the light faster and faster around the stage as Lyle and the cherubs narrow their eyes in suspicion. Blitzo wiggles the spotlight around aggressively, then gasps as he accidentally breaks it off entirely. The woman sings a final high note before the light crushes her on stage, smashing her to pieces and splattering blood all over the stage. The audience, Lyle, and the cherubs scream, while the pianist nervously tries to keep playing, his face drenched in sweat.

Blitzo: Well, at least we made it bad.

The three cherubs fly angrily up toward the Imps.

Cletus: THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD IT! You four monsters have messed with us enough!

Collin: D'ooh, we're just trying to do our j-j-job!

Moxxie: Well, so are we!

Cletus: EEENNNOOOUGH!

The Cherubs summon golden crossbows and aim them at the imps.

Cletus: We are saving that shitty old man's life, whether he wants it or not!

Rayden raised his eyebrow at that remark

Blitzo: Well, someone wants that fucker dead, m'kay? And he paid in advance, and I spent it all on this...

Blitzo reaches into his coat and pulls out a jewel-encrusted green horse figure wearing sunglasses and a "MARE-AJUANA" cap.

Blitzo: ...so he's gotta go!

Rayden: you and me are gonna have a long talk about that when we get back

Blitzo: *nervously laughs*

Keenie flies into Blitzo's face.

Keenie: You all are such disgusting, loathsome beasts! Your kind is nothing but dirt that shitty dead people like that sinner tread on! And now, you're trying to meddle with the lives of HUMANS?!

Rayden: wow. Racist much?

Millie: *pushes Blitzo aside* So are you! So why don't you shut your trap, you judgmental, *pulls Keenie by her necklace and snaps it back* cotton candy, tit-havin' BITCH?!

Keenie: FILTHY DEMON CRAP! *tackles Millie*

Intense opera music plays as the fight scene begins. Keenie and Millie roll over in a cat fight. Rayden draws his angelic pistols and fires repeatedly on collin and cletus as he backs up while blitz and moxie scurry off pulling out their weapons

Millie and Keenie roll off the catwalk. Moxxie sees them and jumps off of the catwalk, grabbing and swinging on a rope. He aims his pistol at Keenie, who is still fighting with Millie as they fall. Millie and Keenie exchange punches to the face. Moxxie aims up and fires at a rope which releases a sandbag. The sandbag slams into Keenie, separating her and Millie, and Moxxie swings over and catches Millie as Cletus and Collin chase them down, firing their crossbows. Millie grabs Moxxie's face and they stare into each other's eyes with lustful grins. They make out as they swing above the stage, Millie pulling two machine guns out of Moxxie's coat and firing as they spin rapidly.

Blitzo climbs onto a catwalk and spots Millie's bra and Moxxie's bow tie fly past him. The bullets hit and kill various audience members in the first two rows, but they all miss Lyle.

As rayden continues firing at the cherubs he steps on a loose board making him plumet off the catwalks and snag a rope which flings him into a seat next to lyle

Rayden: fucking theatres never update on construction, for "nostaligia" *notices lyle* hello senior

Lyle: still trying to convince me to end myself?

Rayden: hm? No. i'm an assassin not a therapist even if my views on life are fucked up i wouldn't force them onto others. It's your life no one has the authority to tell you how to live it. If you're done then that's your decision, whatever it is doesn't matter to me in the grander sense, i mean regardless you are gonna end up in hell.

Lyle: you know what? You've got a point. Life is worth living because we only get one! We must cherish it! If creatures far beyond this living world are going through these lengths over my life, then certainly it's worth living! Killing myself is not the answer! Plus... I'm still rich! I can just buy all the things! I NO LONGER CRAVE DEATH!

The audience claps happily for Lyle. Millie and Moxxie, spinning while firing their guns and being chased by Collin and Keenie, accidentally shoot a woman in the audience in the eye, killing her instantly.

Lyle: are you still going to kill me?

Rayden: i killed you 10 hours ago. I spiked your IV back at your house

Lyle: oh...how long?

Rayden: eh 5 days give or take

Lyle: huh suppose that is generous given my circumstances

Rayden: hm

Rayden then takes out a phone and dials a number

???: *on phone* hello? Who is this and how did you get this number?

Rayden: just think heaven would like to know how a certain branch of theres is acting on earth...

Blitzo runs along the metal scaffolding with his flintlock pistol. He jumps onto a bit of scaffolding holding some spotlights attached to the ceiling with a rope. He and Cletus point their weapons at each other. Blitzo attempts to fire but finds his gun empty, looking at it in shock. With a wide-eyed glance at Cletus, Blitzo throws the flintlock into Cletus' face.

Cletus: Oof! You fucker!

Momentarily blinded, Cletus recklessly fires an arrow, severing the rope holding up the scaffolding Blitzo is standing on and that Moxxie and Millie are swinging from. The three Imps all fall with the metal scaffolding as is smashes onto the floor of the stage, narrowly missing the pianist and cartoonishly bending a board so it holds up the piano at an angle.

The pianist is startled and stops playing, then straightens his bow tie, drops his stool down onto the stage, and uses it to drop down from the bent floorboard. The board then sends the piano flying through the air, breaking in the process. Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Cletus, Collin, and Keenie follow the piano with their eyes as it falls. Lyle turns to see the piano flying straight towards him, screaming like a girl and scrambling out of his bed into a seat. Unfortunately for him, the piano suddenly shifts to his new location and crushes him

Rayden: huh. Screw the 5 days i guess

Moxxie: Well, well. Would'ya looook at that? You... did our job... for us. Heh!

Millie smirks and gives the cherubs two middle fingers.

Cuts to the cherubs staring at Lyle's unfortunate death in utter shock. Collin gasps in horror.

Collin: Ohhhh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my Gooood!

Keenie grabs Collin by the shirt and slaps him across the face a few times.

Keenie: Get a hold of yourself, Collin! And do NOT use the Lord's name in VAIN!

Cletus: (angrily) THIS... ISN'T OVER!

Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie smirk as Keenie creates a portal to Heaven and the cherubs fly through, only to be mysteriously repelled back.

Cletus: WHAT THE?!

A group of cherubs descends, composed of two bees, two sheep and Deerie, the leader. The deer conjures up reading glasses and a clipboard.

Deerie: Mmm, yeah, no, sorry, Cletus, but I'm afraid due to imposing your authority over a human, unlicensed use of a holy weapon and your actions resulting in the death of a human. I'm afraid you can't re-enter Heaven. Yeaaaah, noooo...

Cletus, Collin, & Keenie: WHAT?!?!

Deerie: Yeaaaah, mmmmm, sorry! Yeaaaah, no...

Collin: Is there... anything we can do?!

Deerie: Yeaaaah, nooo! (chuckles) Noooo, no, no.

Keenie: Bu- But, we didn't mean to! We'd never! It was all--

Keenie points to the spot where I.M.P. was, only to find them gone. All three cherubs stare wide-eyed,

Deerie: Anyway, sorry, guys. By the way, one of the divine guards would like a word with you! So good luck with him byeeee!

Deerie does a happy wave before she and the group vanish through the portal.

Cletus: a- a divine guard!?

Keenie: how would one of them know about this?!

Cletus: i-

Cletus is cut off by an angelic steel arrow whizzing past him. The cherubs go pale as they turn to the shooter who stands in the shadows holding a angelic steel crossbow

???: thought i'd see what was so serious that lord zarathos would ask me to put my survey on hold. Gotta say cherubs i'm disappointed...

The shooter steps out of the shadow revealing himself to be the hooded figure with the bone mask

The cherubs were holding each other quivering in fear

???: you were granted special access provided you didn't get edgy. But then...heh heh you have to go and abuse it and make us look like idiots! You used holy weapons in the open, you engaged demons without signalling the proper channels AND *grining* heh you killed a fucking human heh

The figure moves towards the cherubs

???: that's VERY frustrating

Collin: b-b-but it wasn't our-

???: SILENCE!

The cherubs clutch each other tighter

???: I didn't come for your excuses!! Heaven is already in shambles because of the first man's recklessness! We're running around like maniacs trying to keep the citizens in the dark. The last thing we need is you adding more fuel to the fire!!

Cletus: but it was the demons fault!! They attacked us and were trying to kill the human first!

???: so? Stray hellborn leave hell all the time we'll kill them eventually!

Keenie: It wasn't just hellborn! A sinner with red eyes accompanied them! He-

???: what did you just say?

Keenie: what?

???: this sinner that had red eyes was his hair white?

Keenie: yes?

???: was one of his arms made of our steel?

Collin: yes it was

The figures eyes glow a misty white as a large grin forms on his face

???: you know what? Maybe i do have time for excuses *crouches in front of the cherubs* please. Tell me everything!

 

 

Blitzo claps his hands together, transitioning back to the I.M.P. office.

Blitzo: Welp, the old man wanted to live again and we didn't kill him, so we failed. Thanks to those fuckin' cherubs, he's probably up in Heaven now, so... It's a shame. All our client wanted was eternal revenge on his business partner. And now the two are forever separated, and now we gotta face the fire of fuckin' up.

Moxxie: Sir... when are you going to tell the client?

Blitzo: Oh, I already sent him a text, and... we're in good hands, 'cause texts don't make people angry.

On Blitzo's phone it shows that Loopty Goopty is called "Lupis" in his contacts. The text from Loopty reads "U fail, U die.", followed with Blitzo replying "sorry" surrounded by emojis, with "saxophone emoji" typed a line below.

Rayden: clearly you've never seen hollywood social media. But regardless i think we'll be fine

Moxxie: what makes you say that?

Rayden: 5, 4,-

As rayden continues counting Moxxie looks worriedly to the wall behind him. He quickly scurries out of the way as a metal escalator proceeds to crash into the office.

Loopty: *descending the escalator* BLIIIIIITZO!

Blitzo: Loofaaaaa! We can explain everything. I was--...

Another metal escalator crashes through the wall and squashes Moxxie as Lyle, now a mechanical demon with piano keys for teeth and a rolling ball in place of legs, arrives with a grin. Moxxie twitches stiffly in pain.

Blitzo & Millie: (confused) Lyle Lipton?!

Millie: I don't understand. We thought you went to Heaven.

Lyle: Heaven?! You don't make millions in technological advances in robotics by NOT experimenting on the poor!

Rayden: mmhm knew it

Loopty: Oh, you no-good, HEARTLESS son of a BITCH! *turns to Blitzo* Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend!

Lyle: The only question now is what do two old genius robotic inventors do now that we're in Hell?

Wally Wackford crashes through the ceiling.

Wally: Did someone say, I say, inventors?! Name's Wally Wackford, and I am lookin' for creative new people to exploit! [realizes what he said and twirls his mustache] I mean, employyyyy~

Blitzo: Everyone, STOP FUCKIN' UP MY WALLS! Moxxie's gonna have to fix all this shit!

Moxxie is shown trapped, frothing at the mouth and groaning in agony.

Blitzo: Oh, chill out, Moxxie. If you kiss my ass any harder, you'll go right inside me. Satan's balls! First we deal with Heaven's table-scraps, now this?

Wally: I guess... you can say, you say, you have a... holey operation here, Blitzo!

Rayden: oh god please no angel puns

Wally slaps his knee and laughs. Loopty scratches his neck awkwardly.

Blitzo: (unamused) Get out.

Wally continues laughing, doubling over onto the floor. Lyle and Loopty glance at each other awkwardly.

Wally: Oh! I say, oh!

Blitzo: No, I'm serious. Get the FUCK OUT!

Loopty, Lyle, Millie, and Wally all look at Blitzo, shocked and surprised by his sudden outburst.

Rayden: before anything else, remember how you said you spent all the money on a stupid horse?

Blitzo: *gulps* yes?

Rayden: *cracks knuckles* good. come over here.

Blitzo is seen running down the hallways with rayden in hot pursuit

 

Chapter 9: The Harvest Moon Festival

YEARS AGO

Striker is seen dragging an unconscious body through the pride ring

Striker had been jealous of him since he joined the guild. He had the elite clients, the skill, the respect of the others.

Everything Striker wanted.

So when the bounty and an opportunity with the extermination came along well it all culminated

To hell with the guild rules and honor he needed this satisfaction

Striker leaves the body as it starts to stir

Striker: *grinning* nothing personal Rayden it's just survival you understand

And with that he left as the exorcists descend on hell

 

 

PRESENT DAY

Scene opens up to a sunlit exterior of Stolas' mansion. A sigh of contentment is heard. Blitzo is shown lighting a cigarette on Stolas' bed and folds his arms behind his head.

Stolas: *arms tied up* I'm sorry for having to move our little rendezvous early. I have an engagement this month on the full moon.

Stolas is shown wearing a ball gag and harness, his hands tied to the headboard with rope.

Blitzo: When this happens, it's not really something I fuss about...

He uses the cigar to burn the rope, freeing Stolas, who takes Blitzo's cigar from him and takes a long drag of it.

Blitzo: But, do you really need the book for this farm bullshit? I have, like, fifteen new clients waitin' for heads to roll.

Stolas: As shocking as it may seem, Blitzy, my grimoiiiiiire is actually incredibly important. And it isn't supposed to be lent out to itty-bitty Imps like yourself.

Stolas puts out the cigarette in one of Blitzo's horns and pinches his cheek before Blitzo shoves him away.

Stolas: The Harvest Moon is a very special occasion! It's been my annual duty to showcase it in the Ring of Wrath. It's celebrated by a very charming little festival with the locals.

Blitzo pulls a feather out of his mouth in disgust.

Blitzo: Wrath, huh? My employees are from there. I've never really been. I hear it's full of inbred chucklefucks.

Stolas: *sits up* Oh! Why don't you all join me at the festival? I can guarantee you all...

Stolas pulls the covers over his head and his head appears near Blitzo's crotch.

Stolas: ...special access~ *chuckles*

Blitzo: Look, I told you, we're not bodyguards. Okay? That was a one-time thing we did badly and that rayden is forbidden from ever doing again on our payroll.

Stolas stands up with the covers on his head. He does a playful owl head tilt.

Stolas: I'm simply offering a work-free day of fun! I feel quite safe at the Harvest Festival. It's the same every year.

Blitzo: Well if you promise this isn't some fuck fest invite, it does sound like it could be a blast and a half. Plus, it's not like we can do jack shit without your book anyway.

Stolas: (baby-talk voice) Aww, I'm sowwy your clients will have to wait...

Blitzo: *waves a dismissive hand* Oh, fuck my clients!

 

Moxxie and Millie's apartment is revealed under a Robo Fizz sign. Moxxie and Millie are asleep in their bed. Moxxie's phone lights up and a Phantom of the Opera organ ringtone is heard. Moxxie taps the phone and rolls over. The phone rings again. In annoyance, Moxxie grabs the phone and sits up.

Moxxie: What do you want, sir?

Blitzo: Hey, hope I didn't wake ya, Mox! How would you and Mils like to visit the Wrath Ring for some harvest bullshit this year?

Millie sits up in excitement.

Millie: The Harvest Moon Festival?! Yee-fuckin'-haw!

Moxxie: *sighs* Well, Millie likes the idea. Wait... Where are you calling from?

Blitzo falls down onto the bed from the ceiling.

Moxxie: Mm-hm... Of course.

 

 

The scene changes to a bedroom where clara and odette are sleeping

Rayden is seen at the doorway watching them. He then pulls out an airhorn

The girls are immediately startled awake

Clara: WHATSHAPPENINGWHEREWHO *notices rayden* how did you get in here at *checks clock* fuck 5:00AM?! Do you not sleep?

Rayden: Of course I do. 30 minutes every night

Odette: *groans* that explains a lot

Rayden tosses them some outfits

Rayden: get dressed we're leaving in an hour

Clara: leaving? Where are we going?

Rayden: wrath *exits the room*

Odette: why would he want to go to wrath? Aren't sinners forbidden from leaving their ring?

Clara: mostly. except on the blood moon, wrath is open to all sinners. But still doesn't explain why rayden wants to go

Outside rayden is packing items into a vehicle

Carmilla: I was wondering why all the security were bound and gagged now I know.

Rayden: in my defence i asked nicely first

Carmilla: i saw my daughters in quite the rush. Where are you taking them? It's not wednesday.

Rayden: Well normally I do this by myself but I thought it'd be a good learning experience for the girls so I thought maybe they'd like to come along.

Carmilla: And what would they be learning exactly?

Rayden: What else? Hunting

Carmilla: hunting...what exactly?

Rayden: that's on a need to know basis

Rayden loads a crate of landmines onto the vehicle

Carmilla: *slightly concerned* i...see

Rayden: You want to come along? Maybe it'd ease your nerves

Carmilla: You want me to come?

Rayden: Why not? I don't mind. plus i wouldn't be opposed to seeing you in action

Carmilla: *a small grin forms on her face* I may overshadow your skills in front of your pupils. Are you sure you want that?

Rayden: Am I hearing a challenge?

Carmilla: perhaps

As she walks off rayden can't feel a tad bit more intrigued than usual

 

 

Scene shifts to the Rough n' Tumbleweed Ranch. The I.M.P van pulls up in front of two imps.

Millie: Mama! Daddy!

Millie gets out of the van and happily runs toward her parents. Her father hugs her and spins her around before placing her down.

Joe: Yeeeee-hawwww! How's my deadly little pumpkin spice doing?

Joe ruffles Millie's hair affectionately.

Millie: I'm good, Pa! Thanks for lettin' us stay here for the harvest jamboree.

Lin: It's no trouble. We know you aren't making as much anymore since y'all went "freelance".

Millie: Freelance pays fine, Ma! We're doin' fiiiiine! [serious] It's fine.

Millie walks over to Moxxie, who is struggling to carry luggage.

Millie: Anyway, y'all remember my husband Moxxie?

Millie shoves a nervous Moxxie in front of her parents. They stare at him in disapproval.

Joe: Hmph.

Moxxie: Greetings, Lin! Joe! How have you been, uh, with all the... flaming twisters and stuff around here? *nervously holds out his hand

Joe: We lost our old farm hand to one of them terrors last week.

Moxxie: *laughs nervously* Oh, crumbs. My bad! I am so sorry. I- I didn't mean to open that wound... sir.

Blitzo: Hey, watch it! I'm the "sir" here, bucko!

Millie: Oh yeah! Y'all haven't met my boss Blitzo! And his hellhound!

Loona: I'm not just his hellhound.

Blitzo: Yeah, she's my daughter!

Loona: Only on paper. *pulls out smartphone and begins typing* Y'all don't deserve to know my name.

Blitzo: It's a pleasure to finally meet the sperm and egg factory that popped out this little gem of an assassin. You two raised a sturdy bitch!

Joe: *chuckles* That we did! So... Blitzo, is it? Heh heh. That's a fine name.

Lin: It reminds me of war.

Joe: *sighs happily* Nothing like a little war to make a strong man! *flexes bicep*

Blitzo: I like you people.

Moxxie: Y'know... more battles were won by technological advances in warfare. I've researched the history of weaponry extensively, and it's inspiring how... for example, the progression of guns utilizing angelic technology has changed the landscape of Hell's combative...

Millie makes a "cut it out" motion with her hands. Joe crosses his arms.

Moxxie: I mean...War fun!

Joe: Guns get the job done... but a man ain't nothin' if he can't tear the head off a hellish beast with only his bare... hands!

Blitzo: HAAAA! He's right, Moxxie! [speaks baby talk] compared to Rayden You got cute wittle baby hands like your baby dick!

Moxxie: Refrain... sir.

Joe: Speakin' of strong hands, y'all should meet our newest help. Hey! Striker!

Black flaming hooves clop rapidly on the ground. An Imp's spiky tail whips a black horse's flank. An Imp wearing a cowboy hat rides a black hell horse with a fiery mane. The horse leaps over a fence. The horse rears up and roars in front of the group. Striker tips his hat in greeting, a stalk in his mouth.

Striker: Well, howdy! Oh, lookie here! You must be the famous Mildred!

Striker gets off the horse and walks toward Millie.

Striker: Heard some good things about you from your folks, little lady. *winks*

Millie: Ohhh! *laughs sheepishly*

Striker shakes Millie's hand.

Striker: What're y'all doin' so far away from Imp City? Heh. The free workin' finally slowin' down?

Millie: Oh, no! Freelance isn't free! It's a--... Never mind. We're just visitin' for the festival. The prince is our boss' boyyyyfrieeeend!

Blitzo: Millie, I am not above hitting a female in front of her daddy.

Striker: Boss, huh...? Ohhh, so YOU'RE the bold imp to start his own killing biz?

Blitzo: Yeah, well if you're good at somethin', you should probably capitalize.

Striker: Not many Imps start businesses on their own. That's pretty impressive, sir.

Blitzo: Oh...! Yeah? It is-- I-I-I guess- I guess it is, isn't it?

Striker: So you even conned that ditzy blueblood into gettin' you to the surface?

Blitzo: Well, it's long and complicated, but the short answer is yes. But he's not like, you know-- W-We're y- We're not, like... We're not doing it... We w- What's betw- It's a transactional fucking, you see.

Joe: Y'know... you boys should enter the Pain Games!

Blitzo scuttles sideways over to Joe.

Blitzo: I heard games! What games? I'm in!

Lin: Every harvest festival, there's a competition to be the roughest, toughest bastard in Wrath!

Millie: Yeah! Wish I could play!

Lin: Millie, you know you get too carried away. The last competition ended in fifteen separate funerals.

Millie: I'm aware, but I only caused nine of them! How come Sallie May still gets to compete?

Lin: Your sister doesn't have a neighborhood head count.

Millie: She so does!

Sallie May: It doesn't count if they don't find the bodyyyyyy!

Lin: Still, you get to root for her and your brothers, and now you can cheer on your boss!

Moxxie: Y'know, she can also cheer for me.

Joe: *wheeze-laughs and slaps his leg* ...Wait, you?

Moxxie: Yeah! I can compete, can't I?

Joe: Sorry, boy. But, I don't think sensitive, thespian types would last very long in the games.

Moxxie: I was born here, too! *drawls* I have some fight in me!

Striker: Huh. Well then, little fella... Why don'tcha help me wrangle one o' them hogs for dinner?

Striker motions to a large sleeping hell hog in a pigpen.

Moxxie: Simple. Watch me!

Striker grins and hands Moxxie a dagger and rope.

Striker: Nah... with these. Bullets can't pierce the shell. You gotta get the knife underneath and pry yourself an openin'.

Moxxie: Oh! Right, right. I knew that.

Blitzo leans in toward Moxxie and grabs his shoulders. Moxxie's eyes twitch.

Blitzo: Now, just remember, your rep with the in-laws is on the line here! So, no pressure at all, you totally will not make an ass of yourself in front of everyone important in your life. Go get 'em, tiger.

Blitzo shoves Moxxie forward.

Moxxie: Ohhh.

Millie: Mox, you don't need to do this!

Blitzo: Oh, he totally does. KICK ITS ASS, MOXXIE! YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Blitzo cheers as Moxxie enters the pen. He nervously walks forward, knife in hand. Moxxie leaps forward and wraps the rope around the hog's neck. He moves the knife down and it strikes harmlessly against the hog's hide. The hog roars and runs around, trying to buck Moxxie off.

Blitzo: FUCK yeah, Moxxie! Ride it, Moxxie! Make it that bitch you won't call back in the morning!

Loona grins and records a video on her phone.

Loona: This is fucking beautiful.

Blitzo: Doin' great, Moxxie! *whispers to Loona* Send me that video later.

Millie watches in concern as Moxxie yelps and looks up. Striker leaps and pushes him out of the way. Striker twirls the dagger in his hand and lifts it in the air with a smug grin. He brings down the knife and slaughters the hog.

Moxxie: Ow... My clavicle!

Striker: Don't worry, little one... You never stood a chance.

Striker walks away with the dead hog over his shoulder. Moxxie growls at him.

Striker: Hey, boss man! You wanna help the men skin this thing for dinner?

Blitzo: Oh, I am always down to skin the manly meat with the manly men!

Loona: That's what she said!

Blitzo: What "who said"? Wait, what bitch is talking shit about me?! Is it rayden?! Was he spreading gossip?!

Striker stops dead in his tracks upon hearing that name. He starts to sweat

Striker: sorry...what was that name?

Blitzo: Oh, our absent employee. He keeps changing his phone number so i couldn't invite him! You'd like him, he's a very cheery person!

Striker thoughts: phew ok different rayden. He was never cheery

Everyone but Millie and Moxxie leave for the house with the demon hog. Moxxie sighs sadly with his arm in a cast. Millie comforts him.

Millie: Don't let 'em get to you. And hey, you don't need my parents to respect you. They will eventually.

Sallie May: No, they won't.

Millie glares at her.

Sallie May: What? I'm right, ain't I?

Moxxie: *drawl* Oh, I'mma enter in those games.

Sallie May: *appears out of nowhere* Hmm, how pissed would you be if I bet on him dyin'?

Millie glares at her again.

 

The scene cuts to striker in a separate room breathing heavily

Striker: he's dead...no one survives exorcists...not even him

He takes a deep breath in and out

Striker: it's just your nerves nothing else

 

 

The scene changes to raydens truck as it stops in a desertlike environment

Odette: So this is wrath. Looks how i expected

Carmilla: ok mr. blackveil so what exactly are we-

Carmilla notices rayden is no longer in the vehicle

Carmilla: where is he?

Rayden is then spotted outside sniffing the ground and crawling on all fours like an animal

He then finds a patch of dirt before lowering his face mask and licking the dirt before continuing to sniff out a trail

Carmilla and the girls just stare bewildered

Shortly rayden resumes standing

Rayden: 5 kilometers south is where the beast seems to be residing. Alone and 13 years of age which in this species case is its adulthood *flicks out tongue like a snake before smacking his lips* and there doesn't seem to be any towns nearby so no civilian casualties. *holds up patch of dirt* soil?

Carmilla: *disgusted* i'll have to decline

Odette/Clara: same

Rayden: Ok first things first i require about 5000 pounds of meat to lure the thing out and wrath has only one source of accessible meat. *gestures to hellpigs*

Clara: can't you just buy the meat from a butcher?

Rayden: Butchers are a scam. Why would I buy something I can easily kill for free?

Clara: isn't there a law in wrath forbidding mass livestock killing?

Rayden: laws are suggestions

Clara: reasoning with you is futile isn't it?

Rayden: mmhm

Odette: aren't hellpigs hides bulletproof?

Rayden: not entirely they're shielded everywhere but the head *cocks pistols* so it should be simple enough

Carmilla: i feel like me and my daughters traditional weapons will be enough

Rayden: as much as i admire your finesse bullets can make this quicker

Carmilla: bullets are limited sooner or later you'll run out whereas skill has no limitation

Rayden: neither does marksmanship if you use it well enough

The two stare at each other narrowing their eyes

Carmilla: seems we have our challenge

Rayden: agreed. Girls you keep score

Clara and odette just share a look

Rayden and Carmilla proceed to use their various tactics to kill the hellpigs while Clara and Odette watch.

Rayden uses his pistol to sharpshoot 4 hellpigs with a singular bullet. He looks to the side to see Carmilla having decapitated at least 8 hellpigs.

Carmilla gives rayden a smirk

Rayden still maintaining his gaze fires a pistol towards a rock that ricochets through 10 more hellpigs

Carmilla: show off

 

THREE HOURS LATER

 

Rayden and carmilla stand in front of the girls covered in blood and a mountain of pig corpses behind them

Rayden: who. *pant* won?

Odette: well you two actually tied

Rayden/Carmilla: hm.

The two then stare at a stray hellpig wandering about

Rayden: go ahead it's yours

Carmilla: no i think i've had my fill of pig blood it's all yours

Rayden: nonsense you deserve it

Carmilla: i'm flattered but this your hunting trip it's only fair

Rayden: i'd rather conserve my strength for the big one so-

Clara: oh for fucks sake

Clara grabs a rifle and shoots the pig

Clara: Now can we please move this along?

Rayden: uh yes. Of course

 

 

Scene cuts to the Harvest Festival. Wally Wackford stands on stage with a microphone and speaks dramatically.

Wally Wackford: Welcome, I say-a, welcome-a... all to Wrath-a Ring's-a annual-a Harvest-a Moon-a... a-Festival! To kick things up, we have the great prince Stolas-a, here to usher in this here Pain Games!

Stolas takes the microphone from Wally Wackford.

Stolas: *chuckles* How kind, Wackford. Greetings, tiny... Wrath Ring Imps! I hereby welcome you all to another year of celebrating the spoils of your labor that continue to feed the citizens of Hell!

A crowd of Imps glare at him and boos are heard.

Stolas: I'm happy to kick off the start of these games that will challenge the toughest Imps to show their skill in dominance. Good luck to you all! Especially that sexy little one there... Yoo-hoo! Blitzy!

Blitzo: Ugh. Fuck me.

A gun goes off and the games begin. Moxxie gets trampled with a yelp as the other imps race down the trail. Striker climbs up a wooden ramp structure while Blitzo leaps down ahead of him. Moxxie tries to catch up. He claws at the structure and falls into a small puddle. He gets chewed up and thrashed by a monstrous black and white shark.

In the next shot, Striker grins smugly at Blitzo who has his legs, arms and horns tied behind him. A muscular Imp holds a rope and grins at a scared Moxxie.

Striker, Blitzo and Moxxie team up in a tug of war match. Moxxie falls into the water and the shark attacks him again. The scene cuts to a wrestling match in the mud between Blitzo and Striker.

A group of imps do a football huddle on top of Moxxie. The shark leaps over the fence and begins to elbow drop Moxxie.

Moxxie: MOTHERFUC--!!

Cuts back to stage.

Wally Wackford: I say, I say, for the first year ever, we have a tie for winner of the Harvest Moon Pain Games!

Stolas: The winners are... Striker, aaaaand my darling Blitzy!

Stolas walks onto the stage and does a pose as the crowd cheers.

Blitzo: Just say my name RIGHT! Fuckin' dick.

Blitzo walks onto the stage in frustration. Moxxie and Millie watch from the wooden bleachers.

Moxxie: (referring to Striker) Alright. So, he has the "physical advantage". I'm better at other things, like singing!

Striker: *pulls out a guitar* I'd like to take this opportunity to sing a quick song I wrote just now, about me winnin'.

Moxxie: Oh, WHAT THE FUCK?!

Striker: ♫ Sweet victory... I smell the smell. ♫

Striker kicks a squealing fangirl imp in the face, sending her back to a group of imps who then maul her.

Striker: ♫ From up in stinkin' Heaven, to the rugged rocks of Hell, sweet victory ♫

♫ With everything I do ♫

♫ With every talent, I'm so much more talented than you ♫

[Blitzo arrives with a slice of cheese on a stick and sits next to Moxxie and Millie in the bleachers. He eats the cheese.]

Blitzo: (mouth full) Isn't this guy great?

Striker: (off-screen) ♫ Everytime I tryyyy, I push it and succeed. ♫

Moxxie: False!

Blitzo: It's gonna be nice workin' with him.

Moxxie: Working with him...? WHAT?!

Striker: (off-screen) ♫ Every first attempt of every single deed ♫

Blitzo: Yeaaaah! I asked him if he wants to join I.M.P. i'm sure rayden won't mind another cowboy looking assassin on staff

Moxxie: You asked... But...

Moxxie looks visibly hurt as Blitzo looks at him in confusion.

Striker: (off-screen) ♫ Me! I'm totally the best. ♫

Millie: Mox, I think you've had enough, for now. Let's head back to the house and get you clean.

Striker: ♫ The super cool me, handsome guy- *cough* Moxxie, go fuck yourself ♫

Moxxie tears up and leaves with Millie as Striker finishes his song.

Striker: ♫ Did you hear something? It was just the wind. ♫

The crowd cheers.

Striker: Thank you. You're too kind.

 

 

The scene changes to rayden setting up the collected meat on the open space of the desert before getting behind a rock with the carmines

Clara: i kinda assumed we'd be going to a cave

Rayden: this creature has a highly developed sense of smell going to it directly would've given us away. But when it comes to large quantities of meat-

A stampeding cloud of dust is seen rapidly approaching in the distance

Rayden: -well it just can't resist

The creature leaps from the ground and begins devouring the meat giving the group a proper view of it

The girls appeared pale, Carmilla looked slightly concerned and rayden...

Well he was being himself.

Rayden pulls out a remote and pushes a button causing landmines to detonate around the creature making it agitated.

He then aims his mechanical arm at the creature and fires a harpoon into it before reeling himself onto its back as it roars and thrashes around violently.

Rayden takes out a pistol with his free hand and begins firing rounds into the creature's back making it screech. It finally manages to shake rayden to the ground although the harpoon line is still attaching him to it.

The creature lunges at rayden snapping at him with its jaws though rayden rolls under it avoiding the attack. The creature then thrusts its back upwards pulling rayden out from under it before spinning around putting rayden above its jaw.

Using his arms Rayden catches himself between the creature's jaws as he stares down at a rotating blender of teeth.

Rayden adjusts the pressure of his mechanical arm gripping the under part of the jaw until he manages to crush the portion he's gripping, making the creature roar in pain, throwing rayden out of its bleeding mouth.

The creature charges using its limbs to repeatedly try to stamp rayden. Rayden dodges a few only for him to get slapped to the side by a blow.

Rayden quickly regains his footing before the creature leaps at him. He draws a katana and quickly moves to cut off one it's limbs. The creature responds by using one of it's tails to deflect another strike as well as cut the harpoon line.

Rayden: impressive

Rayden grabs onto one of it's limbs being flung into the air as the creature leaps into the air, jaws open wide.

Rayden uses his pistol to fire a blast that pushes him out of the jaws reach.

As Rayden descends he grabs hold of the harpoon, slicing down the creature's side severing it's entire right side of limbs.

Both rayden and the creature fall to the ground. Rayden lands hard on his side, dislocating his arm.

Rayden: ok *grunts* that's on me

The creature weakly raises its bloodied body glaring at rayden with fury. It makes a few steps before moving quickly screeching.

As it lunges its head. It's head is suddenly impaled by carmilla's steel boots killing it.

Rayden: show off

Carmilla: you weren't doing much to address it

Rayden: I was going to do something, it was just. *pops arm back into place* delayed

Carmilla rolls her eyes.

Carmilla: regardless you put on an impressive display.

Rayden: i'm glad to entertain

Odette: So what do we do with this...thing?

Rayden: get a knife and remove its teeth and tail ends. They're sturdy enough to make for good blades. As for the rest of it, try and cut a chunk off. It makes good barbecue.

Rayden gets to his feet

Rayden: After that there's a festival happening nearby that I know has some food trucks you two can get some recuperation at.

Clara: What I need is a shower to wash off the pig smell. Then again everyone down here smells the same so I guess it won't matter.

 

 

Volcanos with fiery spheres floating above them are revealed. Blitzo lies down on the ground and looks admiringly at Bombproof as he feasts on an animal carcass. Millie beams beside her parents as her brothers load up jack-o-lanterns into a truck. Millie waves at them and runs off. Inside the cottage, Moxxie glumly walks up some stairs. Moxxie notices light shining through the bottom of a door.

Moxxie: Well, that's troubling.

Moxxie opens the door and peers around. He notices the light coming from a box. He walks over and sees a rifle with glowing designs in an open gun case.

Moxxie: Oh, my crumbles!

He runs his hand along the side of the rifle.

Moxxie: A genuine Carmine-Crafted Blessing-Tipped Rifle! How... How in the fuck did he get one o' these?!

Striker leans against the door frame behind him.

Striker: Why don't you ask me, little dude?

Moxxie: Shit! W-Why do you have this... mister?! You are aware this kind of weapon can kill--

Striker: ...demon royalty?

Moxxie: Yes. That.

Striker: No shit. *flicks his wheat stalk away* That's kinda the point.

Striker runs his claws along the door. He closes the door and advances menacingly toward Moxxie with a grin.

Moxxie: Okay. Well I'm- I'm relatively concerned by your possession of this... I'm also glad my instant dislike of you has been vali-

Striker grabs Moxxie by the throat.

Moxxie: -DATED!

Striker wraps his tail around Moxxie's neck. He tosses Moxxie hard against the wall. He chokes Moxxie on the floor as Moxxie hisses and tries to claw at him. Striker holds him down with his body weight. Moxxie glances over to see a lamp on a table. He kicks the table and the lamp crashes into Striker. Millie hears the crash from outside. Moxxie stands up and races toward the door. He pulls the door open but Striker roughly pulls him back by his tail. Striker covers Moxxie's mouth and begins to strangle him. Striker chuckles evilly as Moxxie begins to lose consciousness.

Striker: *smirks* Pathetic.

Millie appears behind Striker and stabs him in the back with a knife. Moxxie collapses to the floor. A feral, enraged Millie stabs Striker repeatedly in the back. She leaps onto his back and holds the knife at his neck, but he breaks from her hold and stops her at the last moment. Striker then slams Millie off against the wall, breaking her arm. A now-bleeding Millie collapses next to Moxxie, clutching her broken arm. Moxxie reaches his hand towards Millie.

Moxxie: *weakly* Millie...

Striker grabs both of them by their hair and tosses them into a cellar. Millie cries out as her foot gets caught in a bear trap.

Striker: I'd kill y'all, but I feel like there's more leverage with your rodeo clown of a boss if I don't! Plus, you little things ain't worth the cleanup.

Moxxie runs up the stairs, but Striker closes the cellar doors.

Moxxie: (worried) Millie!

Moxxie runs down the stairs to Millie, assessing her.

Moxxie: (worried) Oh, Satan!

Millie: Moxxie, I'm fiiiine! I got worse than this during the flower tufts at my brother's weddin'. But I caught that fuckin' bouquet, and it was fuckin' worth it! You just have to get out there, and fuck up that brownnosin' cocksucker for me!

Moxxie: But I can't break through it. I'm not strong enough.

Millie: Not with your hands, baby. Use what you're good at.

Moxxie: I'm not good with my hands?

Millie raises an eyebrow with an unamused expression.

Moxxie: Ohhhh. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Moxxie pulls out a pistol and fires a hole in the door. He pushes the doors open.

Moxxie: I... I probably should've used this earlier, huh?

Millie: I love you, hun... But, for fuck's sake!

 

The scene changes to carmilla leaning against a wall keeping an eye on her daughters as they watch the festivities.

Rayden walks over to her holding a kind of meat on a stick one of which he hands to her.

Carmilla studies the meat while rayden lowers his face mask and takes a bite

Carmilla: What am I about to put in my mouth?

Rayden: *chewing* a part of the beast. Cooked, glazed and seasoned

Carmilla reluctantly takes a bite. To her surprise it didn't taste that bad it was kinda salty but had a bit of a spicy tangy flavour

Carmilla: you cooked this?

Rayden: A few jobs require cooking expertise. I took a few lessons when I was alive and I've received tips from a sort of...connoisseur shall we say while I've been down here.

Carmilla: *lightly chuckles* you never cease to surprise me

Rayden: Well we are in hell, sometimes it can generate very unexpected...*notices bombproof resting by a house in the distance*...surprises.

Rayden thoughts: bombproof?

Rayden looks up the house where bombproof is and notices striker in the window

Rayden: you enjoy the festival i just saw something that requires my attention

Carmilla: oh. Very well we'll see you later I suppose?

Rayden nods before making his way towards the house.

Stolas appears on stage and magically flips through the grimoire.

Stolas: My dear commoners of the Ring of Wrath! I, Stolas of the Ars Goetia, hereby curse this year's harvest with the glow of the true Harvest Moon!

The clouds swirl as Stolas creates a portal. The portal reveals a glowing orange full moon in the sky. The crowd oohs in wonder. Striker chuckles darkly as he aims the rifle at Stolas' forehead. A click is heard behind him. Blitzo aims his flintlock pistol at him.

Blitzo: Uh, excuse me? The FUCK?!

Striker: Bliiiitz! I thought you were still at the ceremony!

Blitzo: You thought I wanted to stand around with a buncha hillbillies excited about corn n' shit with a thirsty owl on stage?!

Striker: Huh. And now you seem disappointed in me.

Blitzo: Yeaaaaah. Well, I'm not a fan of someone I offered a job to about to off my easiest lengthy ticket to Earth behind my back.

Striker: Blitzo, come on. You know, the two of us are superior than most of our kind. And you were so above suckin' on a disgusting, rich, pompous Goetia, only to sneak topside for scraps and work for bitter sinners, who could care less who you are, when you could be slaying Overlords.

Striker walks around Blitzo. Blitzo's eyes move and he appears conflicted. He aims his gun as Striker moves in the shadows.

Striker: Why struggle to run a business that is rigged against you? When you could partner up with me and kill... the unkillable?

Striker pins a frightened Blitzo against the wall.

Striker: Starting with the one that treats you like a plaything?

Blitzo: Ooh, that's kinda hot.

Striker: We could be the most dangerous beings in Hell, Blitzo.

Blitzo: Wow. That was a good fuckin' pitch.

Striker: Been workshoppin' it.

Striker moves Blitzo's gun away.

Blitzo: Y'know what? Fuck it. I'm in.

Striker grins, but hears another click.

Striker: Huh?

Moxxie appears behind him with Striker's rifle.

Blitzo: Took ya long enough, Mox! Ha-HA! Wow, you should've seen your dipshit face!

Blitzo looks down to see Striker holding the knife in his other hand from behind.

Blitzo: Wow... Woah, okay. Cliché much?

Striker points Blitzo's pistol at Moxxie. Moxxie blocks the bullet with the rifle side.

Blitzo: Oh, you daddy fucker!

Blitzo bites at Striker's arm.

Striker: AAAAGH!!

The fight begins as Blitzo elbows Striker in the face. They exchange blows, and Striker slams Blitzo into Moxxie, both of them falling to the floor. Moxxie sees the rifle on the floor and reaches for it. Striker pins Moxxie's arm down with his boot.

Moxxie: AAAGH!

Striker: You dumb fucks lost the upper hand fast, huh?

Blitzo: HA! You seem to have forgotten something, fucko!

Blitzo whistles for Loona. Outside, Loona hears it whilst using her phone.

Blitzo: Ugh, fuckin' damn it, Loona.

Striker: It's a damn shame, Blitzo. We migh-

Striker is cut off by a gentle whistle heard throughout the house

Blitzo and Moxxie notice Striker start to get very nervous.

Striker: (nervous) that's impossible...

Blitzo: really? A music note makes your dick quiver?

Striker: (nervous) your dead..you can't...YOU CAN'T BE ALIVE

Footsteps accompanied by the jingle of spurs join the whistle as Striker starts to sweat pointing the rifle in various directions

Striker: YOU SON OF A BITCH WHERE ARE YOU!?

All of the noises suddenly cease

Striker: ok probably just some straggler so-

Rayden erupts from the floor in front of striker grabs his fearful face and rams it against the wall twice before he roundhouse kicks him against another wall

Blitzo: RAYDEN! Oh I have never been happier to see your violent, bloodied self!

Rayden: wait the fuck are you guys doing here?

Moxxie: We were just here for the festival visiting Millie's family.

Rayden: hm in-law visit. That's rough.

Moxxie: mmhm

Rayden: now as for you *cracks knuckles* i believe you owe me some payback

Striker: *struggles to keep his balance* how...the fuck are you still alive?!?

Moxxie: you two know each other?

Rayden: of course you don't tend to forget the person who left you at the mercy of exorcists

Blitzo: ohoho you've fucked up cowboy!

Rayden: And to answer your question, lizard call it divine intervention. Something you're not gonna receive.

Striker attempts to shoot rayden only for rayden to quickly close the distance and grab his throat.

Rayden: nice gun *raydens mechanical arm grabs the end of the gun and effortlessly bends it*

Striker tries in vain to get out of raydens grip scratching and punching as it tightens

Rayden: hm you've gone soft since i last saw you. The others would be very disappointed

Rayden pins striker to a wall raises his mechanical arm and viciously beats strikers stomach repeatedly until he starts coughing blood

Striker: (weakly) please...mercy

Rayden: i'm all out

Before rayden can deliver a killing blow he gets slammed by the door as Loona kicks it open to enter the room.

Loona: 'Kay, I'm here.

Striker seizes the opportunity and gets out of raydens grip and gets to a window

Striker: you won't get another shot like that again...reaper

Striker escapes through the window. When rayden gets to the window he finds no sign of Striker. Rayden grips the seal so tight it cracks

Blitzo: kinda regretting my job offer towards him more now

Rayden: I'm sorry. WHAT?!

Blitzo: oops

Rayden: You were going to hire one of my sworn enemies!!??!

Blitzo: heh heh now rayden let's talk about this

Rayden: oh we're gonna have a talk all right

Blitzo: *gulps*

 

Scene cuts to the ranch. Lin bandages up Millie's arm as she sits with her foot in a cast. Moxxie struggles to fit clothes in a suitcase.

Lin: I can't believe you let him trap you, Millie! Haven't we taught you better?

Millie: I was seein' red, Ma! And he was slippery!

Lin: Excuses! You're better than that, Mildred!

Moxxie closes the trunk and marches over to Millie's parents.

Moxxie: Y'know, she protected me. *drawl* And maybe I'm not a strong beefy dickhead, *normal voice*but Millie has the strength enough for both of us! You two are getting on her case about being hurt by a psychopath you hired?! *drawl* Shaaaaame on you!

Blitzo appears next to moxxie with a black eye courtesy of rayden.

Blitzo: Aw, Moxxie, look at you! Speechin' like a big boy with his big paaaants!

Moxxie gets approached by Joe. Joe glares at Moxxie, curtly nods and walks inside the farmhouse with Lin.

Millie: Wooow! He nodded! *stands up* He's never acknowledged your input before!

Millie stands up on crutches and walks away.

Moxxie: Soooo, is that progress?

 

 

Scene cuts to a sign that reads "Hideaway Motel Vacancy. The Guy That Tried 2 Kill U Def Isn't Here." Striker is on a bed, talking on the phone.

Stella: (on phone) the fuck do you mean you want a higher reward i thought you could handle any rabble that got in the way?!!

Striker: that was before i knew that the fucking red eyed reaper was involved!

Stella: (on phone) so? He's just some sinner on that freak of angels leash

Striker: if you don't think he's a threat then you're a damn fool. So long as he's in the picture, killing the target will be next to impossible!

Stella:(on phone)...fine i'll triple the pay. But what exactly does this afford you?

Striker: call it a safeguard to make sure this won't happen again

Stella drums her fingers on the table impatiently.

Stella: It better not! I want this cheating prick dead! I don't care who you have to go through, MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Stella is seen sitting at a dinner table with Stolas, who is reading a book called "Imps in the Sheets", and Octavia. Stolas pauses from eating to look at his wife in concern while Octavia bops her head to music tapping on the wine glass with her fork.

Striker: Understood.

Stella hangs up the phone. Striker twirls the gun in his hand.

Striker: you should've stayed dead blackveil

Striker gulps before dialing another number

The scene cuts to a dark room lit by numerous candles.

In the centre sits a man covered in scars all over sharpening a katana on a whetstone

A phone ringing breaks the silence.

The figure picks it up

???: striker i told you never to call any guild member numbers again

Striker: (on phone) I know I know but believe me you'll want to listen. I was hired to take out a goetic prince-

???: Is this supposed to intrigue me? A goetia prince is no concern of mine shouldn't you be able to handle this yourself?

Striker: i would've but some imps interfered

???: imps? My how far you've fallen 小さなトカゲ

Striker: (on phone) wait there's more!!

???: unimportant *starts to place the phone down*

Striker: (on phone) Raydens alive Na'mall!!

Na'mall pauses and brings the phone back to his ear

Na'mall: is he now? And you're certain of this?

Striker: (on phone) I saw him with my own eyes! I'm offering you a shot at both a prince and rayden so whattya say?

Na'mall: very well you'll have my aid. So long as i'm the one to take the prince's head

Striker: (on phone) deal

Na'mall: and Striker? Use my first name without permission again and will remove your head

Striker: (on phone) y-yes sir *hangs up*

Na'mall stands and attaches a mask to his jaw

He then picks up and gently strokes his katana

Na'mall: it seems we shall cross blades once again old friend. I look forward to seeing you after all these years

 

Chapter 10: Rayden's Lesson 4 The Ultimate Technique

Clara and odette along with Carmilla are seen walking to the training room

Clara: I do have to ask mom. Why do you wanna come to our lessons now?

Carmilla: after what occurred in wrath I'm actually interested to see how ray- *ahem* mr. Blackveil handles your training regiments up close

The girls share a look before shrugging

When they arrive in the room they are shocked to not see some kind obstacle course or some kind of exercise equipment laying around.

Instead they found a kitchen setup and rayden in a chefs uniform

Carmilla: how is this the most surprising thing to have come from you?

Clara: I do feel like I need to ask that question too

Rayden: in over generations of combat and strategy there's always been one undisputed form of combat perfection...the art of culinary

The carmines just stand with a bewildered look

Odette: what does cooking have to do with combat-

Rayden: COOKING IS COMBAT

The carmines back up rapidly nodding

Carmine family thoughts: wow he's serious about this

Rayden: now I shall instruct all three of you in how to create the most glorious meal in history

Carmilla: what? A roast?

Clara: creme brulee?

Odette: fish and chips?

Carmilla and Clara just stare at odette

Odette: what? It's quite savoury

Rayden: close. We're making a sandwich

The carmines just stare at him more bewildered than before

Clara: a sandwich?

Rayden: not just any sandwich the perfect sandwich

Clara: isn't that kind of a lame ch-

Clara is cut off by a kitchen knife flying past her and hitting the wall

Rayden: don't insult the chef in the kitchen

Clara: noted

Rayden: also as of now you will address me as chef

Odette: why even-

Rayden narrows his goggles lens

Odette: yes chef

Later all three of the carmines and rayden stand in front of a loaf of bread

Rayden: first step cut the loaf straight

All the girls make an incision in their bread

Rayden inspects the breads

Rayden: these are slopey cuts. Again

They all go again

Rayden: uneven cuts. Again

They all go once again

Rayden: too much of a cut. *grunts* do I resemble a prostitute?

Carmilla: excuse me?

Rayden: do I resemble a prostitute?

Clara: no?

Rayden: then why are you all trying to screw me?

Carmine family: WHAT?!

Carmilla: ok how about this we'll prepare a sandwich the normal way and you prepare a sandwich the psychotic way

Rayden:........fine. I'll prepare perfection and you all can prepare garbage for your garbage lives

There's a moment of silence

Odette: why are you being so mean about this?

Rayden: I'm not sure. The kitchen turns a person into something...brutal

They next prepared meat

The carmines all slice different meats thinly

Rayden tosses a cow corpse into the air and slices his sword around in the air

Multiple mini cubes of meat fall from the air onto the bread

Next was additional toppings

The girls gently put theirs onto the bread gracefully

Rayden was forcefully slamming his onto the bread and flattening them like a jackhammer

Finally was cooking

The girls put their sandwiches on a grill

Rayden used a welder

The end results were surprising to say the least

The girls sandwiches looked like a casual sandwich

Raydens sandwich was literally sparkling

The girls just stare dumbfounded

Rayden pushes his plate towards them

They all take a bite

Clara: fuck this is delicious

Carmilla: I must say you are quite the chef

Odette: who taught you how to cook?

FLASHBACK

Rayden stands at a kitchen cutting vegetables

Next to him is a man with black hair slicing meat

???: your cuts a bit slopey

Rayden: a good chef

 

Chapter 11: Truth Seekers

The episode opens up to panning shots of four monitors. The first shows Blitzo and Moxxie outside Martha's house, Moxxie then pushing Blitzo's gun causing him to shoot in the wrong direction in "Murder Family". The second shows Millie coming out of the ocean after killing the fish monster in "Spring Broken", the third shows Millie and Moxxie French-kissing while swinging on a rope in "C.H.E.R.U.B.", and the fourth shows a shot of horses, which then zooms in past them onto Blitzo, who was caught choking on the boba pearls of his drink. Someone then points at the screen with Blitzo.

Agent One: Right there! This was the first sighting.

Agent Two: They are definitely from Hell. They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world... and they seem to be killing specifically targeted people. But, why?

Agent One: They always attack at random, aaaall over the country. There's no way to predict where they'll show up next!

A loud clattering noise is heard from outside, followed by a stock angry cat sound.

Rayden: (offscreen) fuck off feline!

The two agents immediately glance over to a barred-up window obscured by heavily damaged blinds. Agent One makes a gap between the blinds to the outside to see what made that noise. The agents then see the source of all the racket: Blitzo, standing on a box and a dumpster while holding the dumpster lid open. He looks around suspiciously.

Agent Two: Ahhh, well... That's convenient.

Cuts to Blitzo outside, standing on trash bags and holding a dumpster lid open.

Blitzo: Shhhhh! Remember, we can't be seen.

Blitzo slams the dumpster lid loudly, but then falls backwards into a pile of trash bags. Millie silently chuckles at his predicament, then walks away. Rayden just rolls his eyes

Moxxie: Pardon my words, sir, but you and rayden are currently being the loudest.

Blitzo jumps up out of the garbage pile covered in trash; he has an old newspaper on his forehead, a half-eaten lollipop stuck to the side of his head, a scrap of paper on his horn with an old banana peel impaled on the end of it, and a used condom on his index finger, the same finger he uses to poke Moxxie's face indignantly.

Blitzo: [softly] I said shuuush your dick-sucking lips, Moxxie!

Rayden: so what if someone hears? no one would be stupid enough to bring me within 10 feet of their vicinity

Moxxie steps away from his boss for a short moment, likely grossed out from Blitzo's condom finger, as he notices a portal opening behind him. Loona is seen on the other end and Millie jumps into it, waving to Moxxie. Moxxie begins to walk towards the portal but is suddenly tackled to the ground by Blitzo, barely missing a net being shot their way.

Blitzo: GET DOWN!

Agent One cocks his net launcher, readying another capture net. Blitzo looks behind him and sees Agent Two jump down on a rope from a building, landing in front of the portal.

Rayden: I stand corrected.

Blitzo: LOONA! CLOSE IT!

Millie: Wait, no!

She tries to run through the portal before it closes, but fails.

Moxxie, seeing the portal close, is distraught at first but quickly shifts to angry, pulling out a pistol in an attempt to fight off the two agents while rayden loads a pistol behind a dumpster and Blitzo hides. He jumps off a wooden pallet to dodge both a tranquilizer dart and a capture net and prepares to fire. However, he is hit in the neck from behind by a tranquilizer dart.

Moxxie stumbles, mumbling incoherently, then falls to the ground.

Blitzo: MOXXIE!

Rayden: well i saw that coming

With quick thinking, Blitzo grabs Moxxie, knocking down the trash can he was hiding behind

Blitzo: ok rayden fuck em up!!

Before rayden can attack he's pulled upwards by his mechanical arm (as well as his various other weapons) and stuck to a large magnet

Rayden:...huh...well shit

Blitzo runs away. He smacks Agent Two in the face with Moxxie and keeps on running through the alleyway.

Moxxie: (slurred) I smell... *sniffs* colors...

Blitzo eventually reaches a dead end. The agents waste no time in cornering him. Blitzo raises his gun, ready to fight.

Blitzo: Back off, you tuxedo-wearing FUCKS!

Blitzo and the agents both ready their guns and prepare for a firefight. But just as Blitzo is about to fire, Agent Two pushes a button on her gun, causing Blitzo and Moxxie to be electrocuted. Moxxie is shocked out of Blitzo's grip and Blitzo is zapped a second time from residual charge, dropping his gun and going down for the count. The agents are then seen through Blitzo's eyes.

Agent One: *chuckles confidently* I'd like to see the suits at corporate callin' us losers now! That was pretty badass!

Agent Two: *cocks gun* Super badass!

Rayden: (offscreen) meh mediocre

Agent one: NO ONE ASKED YOU!

Soon enough, Blitzo passes out.

 

 

Meanwhile in the I.M.P. office, Millie furiously punches the wall, tears in her eyes and making vicious demon screeches, before falling to her knees devastated.

Millie: SHIT! Shit, shit, shit!

Millie wails with her head and hands on the floor. Loona stands behind her with Stolas' Grimoire in her hands, looking concerned.

Loona: You, uh... You okay, there?

Millie suddenly stands up, startling Loona into dropping the Grimoire and holding her hands up defensively.

Millie: What're you doing sittin' there?! The boys are in trouble! Open it again!

Loona: Blitzo was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears. That means it was serious, which means I don't open it until he says and mr. sunshine is with them so--

Consumed by rage and worry for her husband and boss, Millie grabs Loona by her shirt and yanks her down to face level.

Millie: (furious) Open the fucking portal, now!

Cuts to a sequence of Loona and Millie gearing up for a rescue mission. Loona zips a backpack labeled "Blitzø's Emergen-C Bag" closed, an angry Millie twirls and lifts a giant double-headed axe with the 'M' in the middle, and Loona transforms to her human form. The portal opens again, and Millie leaps out and lands in a pose while Loona nonchalantly steps through.

Millie: They aren't here...!

Millie drops her axe and falls to her knees again, tears welling in her eyes. Before she can cry, Loona suddenly grabs and lifts her up, bending down to sniff the ground to track where Blitzo and Moxxie went.

Loona: It smells like they went this way.

Loona drops Millie into the backpack and slings it onto her back, then grabs Millie's axe off the ground, resting it on her shoulder.

Loona: Come on... Let's find the dumbass twins and john wick

Loona starts running towards the screen while carrying Millie. Meanwhile, in an unknown location, Moxxie wakes up and looks around groggily. 

 

The camera zooms out revealing that he and Blitzo are tied to chairs. Moxxie panics and briefly struggles to get out, until Agent Two grabs the lamp over their heads and brings it close to Moxxie's face, causing him to flinch away.

Agent Two: Finally awake, huh, little fella? *releases the lamp* Your partners has been a while now.

The camera zooms out to reveal that not only are Blitzo and Moxxie tied up, but their tails are wrapped together and chained to an iron ball. Meanwhile rayden was tied in a straitjacket being hung from the ceiling by chains

Blitzo: Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down, alright? I took a fuck-ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also, I've been strapped nipple first to a car battery. Also why does he get the jacket while we get the boring tie up?

Agent two: he wouldn't stop beating up our agents...he bites HARD *shudders*

Blitzo flinches as the lamp is shined in his face by Agent One.

Blitzo: Ohhh, okay!

Agent One: Tell us, demon scum! Who do you work for? Satan?!

Rayden: He wishes he could afford me.

Agent Two grabs the light again. They begin grabbing it back and forth as they interrogate the two Imps.

Agent Two: How did you get to our world from the afterlife?

Agent One: Why are youse killin' humans?!

Agent Two: When did you show up here?

Rayden: Christ, can you, two cool it with the accents? This isn't the UK

Agent two: what's wrong without accents?!

Rayden: They just feel forced is all, and those suits? They're not helping either

Agent one: w-well your suits not exactly demonic in nature so ha!

Rayden: I'm an assassin, pal fashion is the least of my concerns. unlike some guy who watched Men in Black and thought sunglasses and a bad tux would make him look cool

Blitzo: oooo burn

The agents just look offended and humiliated

Blitzo: look dipshits we just woke up from a veeeery nasty shock. And I'm still feelin' fuckin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we get into this. I mean, everyone gets coffee in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right? I want somethin' iced, bitch!

Blitzo turns his head around to Moxxie.

Blitzo: Mox?

Moxxie: I'll have a Neapolitan cappuccino, more cappu- than -ccino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk; the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup-they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy"; I hate that. If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional misto. Please use soy milk, with two blond shots affogato *points foot accusatorily at Agent Two* and ristretto! I'd also love... three vanilla pumps at the very bottom, then add the coffee after, then add--

Agent One: ENOUGH! We aren't getting youse coffee!

Rayden: How about ice water?

Agent two: NO! We're not getting you any kind of drink!

Rayden: hmph i see someone never got laid at prom

Agent two: WHA- I UGH SHUT UP!

Blitzo: Wow. I was getting massive douche chills just there, you two. Congrats!

Agent Two: *leans up close to Moxxie's face* If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers outta you nasty hell beasts!

Moxxie: When you say "torture", do you mean physical or psychological? Physical seems counterproductive; we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain, and you would have no way of knowing what was true!

Rayden: and I have an incredibly high pain tolerance so...

Blitzo: Or we might like it too much. And then you've got a whole new thing to deal with.

Agent One: *points accusatorily at Blitzo* What do you mean by that?

Blitzo: Ah, you're stupid, huh? I can work with stupid. Daddy likey dummy.

Moxxie squirms in his chair trying to hold in his laughter but laughs anyway.

Moxxie: *laughing, stomps his hoof on the floor* Good one, sir! "Daddy likey"!

Agent Two: You better stop laughin' at us!

Agent One: *grabs rayden by the collar* Yeah! *pulls rayden closer* You are the ones at our mercy!

Rayden then headbuts the agent in the face breaking his nose

Agent one tumbles backwards clutching his bleeding nose

Agent one: FUCK!

Rayden: play with fire you get burned

Moxxie: It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry. I mean, considering your approach thus far, you've had us tied here for what, hours? And you haven't even had us confirm what exactly we are!

Agent Two: *leans down curious* What are you?

Moxxie: I'm a Virgo.

Rayden: Leo personally

Blitzo: HAH!

Agent One: Ohhhhh, a smart guy, eh?!

Agent Two: One more quip outta you and we'll shut you up!

Rayden: oh by all means come closer

Blitzo: Ooh, getting kinkyyyy!

Both agents recoil in shock and horror.

Agent One: WHAAAAT?! We aren't playin' into your vile demon kinks!

Blitzo: I mean, that's what it sounded like back there, you sickos!

Rayden: i was getting that vibe too

Moxxie: (sarcastic) Please don't give them ideas, sir!

Blitzo: Why not? I know the shit you're into!

Moxxie gets an embarrassed look.

Agent One: Stooop! We are NOT gettin' kinky wit youse!

Agent Two grab Agent One and pulls him back.

Agent Two: Calm down, One! Don't let these monsters get to you!

The agents start to walk away.

Blitzo: Heyyyy, aren't we gonna get our phone call, bitch?

Agent One: Well, that entirely depends! Who are you gonna call? Hmmm?

Blitzo: Your fat mom, thankin' her for a fat time!

Agent Two: Nice try, demon! His fat mom is dead!

Agent One starts crying into his own arm.

Rayden: hm phone call...wasn't i expecting one today?

 

Cuts to the exterior of the D.H.O.R.K.S. building Blitzo and Moxxie are trapped inside of. Two guards armed with naginata stand outside the entrance. Four security cameras loom over their heads. Millie and Loona peek around the side of the building, looking for a way to sneak in.

Millie: This where they ended up?

Loona: I think so. Fuck, this looks intense. How are we gonna get in?

Loona is cut off by her phone ringing

Loona: *whisper yelling* nonono shit!! *answers phone* what?!

???: (on phone) hi i'm looking to check in with a rayden blackveil? He told me to call this number when he was working in imp city

Loona: he's uh he's busy right now

???: (on phone) busy with what? He should be expecting me

Loona: he's...going over finances

???: (on phone) that doesn't sound like him. Can you put him on please?

Loona: nope can't try another time

???: (on phone) now wait a-*loona hangs up*

Loona: who in their right mind would call that guy?

Millie sees a small vent over their heads and points at it,

Millie: Lift me up to that vent!

Loona raises her hand and Millie climbs up, opens the vent and crawls inside. She opens the side door from inside the building and lets Loona in. They sneak through the halls trying to find Moxxie and Blitzo, completely unaware that an unnamed D.H.O.R.K.S. guard can see them on the surveillance camera. The guard spits out his coffee in surprise--unintentionally soaking another guard--and sounds an alarm to alert the other guards of the trespassers.

Loona screeches to a halt. The camera zooms out, revealing a bunch of agents holding several Japanese melee weapons. An agent holding a naginata runs toward Loona and Millie and swings it at them. The girls duck, avoiding the blade. Loona jumps, swings the axe, chopping off an agent's leg while Millie shoots him twice with twin pistols. Loona throws the axe at another agent's face where it sticks. Millie climbs the agent's body and removes the ax from his head, jumps to avoid yet another guard's katana swing, then chops the katana-wielding agent in two vertically.

Loona runs into an agent with twin nunchaku and attempts to split kick him, but he avoids it. She then rolls back and jumps to avoid his strikes. An agent swings his kusarigama at Loona but Loona ducks low to the ground, allowing the nunchaku guy to be decapitated instead. Millie sneaks up to the now surprised kusarigama-wielding agent and snaps his neck, and as he falls to the floor face first Loona grabs Millie who then grabs the axe from the floor, running towards another set of three agents inside a large doorway.

Cuts to said agents. One agent hits a button attempting to stop the girls by closing the blast door on them. The other two reveal their shuriken and proceed to throw them at the girls, though they miss entirely.

Millie: Throw me!

Loona throws Millie, grunting.

Holding her axe in front of her, Millie flies toward the group of agents, landing with a roll just as the blast door labeled "CAUTION BLAST DANGER" closes behind her. Screams of agony can be heard as Millie slaughters them off-screen. The blast door opens back up to show Millie surrounded by dismembered corpses and blood splattered on the walls and ceiling.

Loona: *walks into the room, impressed* Damn! You're pretty agile for an old lady!

Millie: I'm, like, five years older than you.

 

Cuts back to Blitzo and Moxxie. Agent One yells at Blitzo while he responds by playfully sticking his tongue out at him.

Agent One: Stop insultin' my mother! She's dead!

Agent Two: Hey, hey. Let's just leave them here until they feel like talkin'.

Rayden: oh we've been talking plenty. Just not about what you want

Agent one: ok who are you anyway!? You look less demonic then these guys

Rayden: technically I'm not a demon, not fully anyway. I'm a sinner

Agent two: so you were living at one point? What's your name?

Rayden: *sigh* rayden blackveil

The agent's eyes go wide with a sudden fear as they start to sweat.

They both draw guns and point them at rayden

Rayden: yeah that's about the reaction i'd expect

Blitzo: shit rayden these fucks know you?

Agent two: everyone alive knew this son of a bitch!!

Agent one: the fucking reaper was the most dangerous assasin in history!!

The two agents exit the room, slamming the door behind them. Blitzo glances at the door just to be sure, then immediately tries to struggle in his bonds for a couple second before giving up.

Blitzo: *sighs* Don't worry, Mox. if they're that afraid of rayden that much and If we keep being obnoxious, they'll eventually slip up and we'll get a chance to get out. Let's just keep fuckin' with them until they get so frustrated, they stop thinkin' clearly. It usually works.

As Blitzo speaks, the camera zooms out until it is looking at a video feed of him and Moxxie, Blitzo's audio degrading to add to the effect. Agents One and Two watch them through the screen.

Agent One: Hmmm! So, the demons wanna play games, huh? Well, we can play games...

Agent Two chuckles and hits a button between "HAHA GAS" and "BITCH JUICE". As she lifts her fist away, the camera zooms in on the button, now glowing a bright green and is revealed to be labeled "TRUTH BOMB".

Agent Two: Heh! Yeaaah.

Cuts back to Moxxie, Rayden and Blitzo. Blitzo is still struggling against the ropes to no avail.

Moxxie: I'm just worried about Millie. She'll be on her way by now, I'm sure!

Blitzo: Ugh, she'll be fine, Moxxie. It would take a roided-up hippo to take down that woman when she's upset.

Moxxie: We've never dealt with the human government before! She's in danger!

Rayden: please the governments are pushovers you should've seen what i started back in the day.

As they speak, a green gas begins filling the room.

Blitzo: (suddenly angry) and do you ever honestly shut up about Millie?! It's always *mockingly imitates Moxxie* "Oh, how's Millie?" "I can't tonight. I'm hangin' with Millie!" "I'm so worried about Millie!" And she's ALWAYS... FIVE FUCKIN' FEET away from you! It's pathetic!

Moxxie: That... was oddly personal.

Blitzo: (surprised]) Y'know, you're right! I don't know why the fuck I just let my guts spill like that.

Moxxie glances at the floor and sees the green gas surrounding the two of them, eyes widening in fear.

Moxxie: Sir! They're filling this room with something!

Blitzo: Fuck! *sniffs* The hell is this?

Rayden: *tastes air like a snake* i'm getting a hint of phosphorus, endorphins and *smacks lips* just the smallest bit of 3-quinuclidinyl benzilate

Blitzo: english rayden

Rayden: It's truth serum you uneducated dick.

Blitzo: Oh, you just guess that's what it is?

Moxxie: Well, uh... Just ask us something specific we wouldn't normally tell you.

Rayden: woah don't rope me into this!

Blitzo: Okay. Uh... Does Millie ever peg you?

Moxxie: *smiles at the thought* Sometimes~ *eyes widen in realization* Wait! EWW! Fuck! Why that?!

Blitzo: Heh! I knew it. Ok rayden what's your sex life like?

Rayden: epic yet non-existent. fuck!

Moxxie: Well, your suit is tacky! *flinches in regret* Fuck! I'm sorry...

Blitzo: *gasps dramatically* How fuckin' dare you! Youuu have shitty taste in music! *flinches in regret* AH, I'm sorry!

Moxxie: "Shit taste"?! *tears up* You said you liked that musical I recommended to you!

Blitzo: I lied! I left halfway through!

Moxxie: You... You said you loved it!

Blitzo: (in tears) It was awful, Moxxie! It was about ugly, horny caaaaats!

Rayden: Hey, what're you doing? No, don't start crying!!

Moxxie starts crying hysterically. Once again, the scene zooms out into them being watched by Agents One and Two again.

Blitzo: *tears flowing* Oh, God, Moxxie! I've said so many lies to you!

Rayden: AHHHH!!! KILL ME NOW!! END THE TORMENT!

Agent Two: *chuckles* This is gonna be a gooood night!

View switches to a vent pumping more of the gas into the room. Blitzo coughs and the room wobbles and distorts, changing into something else. He shakes his head and turns back to face Moxxie angrily.

Blitzo: Dammit, Moxxie! This is all your fault!

Moxxie: How is this my fault?!

Rayden: AGH!! WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP ALREADY?! YOU BICKER LIKE WIRED TEENAGERS! "IT'S HIS FAULT" "NO IT'S HIS FAULT" WE ALL SHARE THE BLAME!! FUCK I WISH I COULD KILL YOU BOTH BUT GOD FORBID I SOMEHOW RESPECT YOU BOTH!!........Wow, this stuff is potent.

The imps just stare at rayden surprised

Rayden meanwhile was starting to hallucinate himself

Rayden: oh please you think this is the first time I've been drugged? I can-

Rayden turns to see a forest blanketed in a snowfall

Rayden: -handle it....

Rayden walks into the forest as the snow continues to fall

He keeps walking through in silence looking at the trees in confusion

The silence is broken by a gunshot followed by a baby crying

Rayden: no....no I buried this...

Rayden runs to the direction of the crying only to see a woman cradling a baby surrounded by monsters closing in

Rayden: (pained) STAY AWAY FROM THEM YOU BASTARDS!!

The monsters turn to rayden roaring before lunging at him

Rayden brandishes a katana and proceeds to attack the creatures. As he fights his whole vision goes red as he violently massacres to creatures. He turns to stab what he assumes is another monster only to see he has stabbed the woman who is still holding the baby

Rayden: (distraught) no...nononononono I'm sorry...I never meant for this to happen

Rayden hears footsteps behind him he turns to see a figure clouded in shadow who kicks him to the side before taking the baby from the woman's dying arms

Rayden: (distraught) no, leave him....PLEASE JUST LEAVE HIM WITH HIS MOM!!

The figure leaves with the baby as rayden collapses onto the snowy ground crying

 

 

Cuts back to Millie and Loona walking up to a three-by-four 12-digit keypad. Millie walks closer and sees that the 1 button is the only one that shows any wear, while the other buttons are untouched.

Millie: Try 1.

Loona presses 1 five times. The door slides open, revealing a reception desk. The girls look to each other in affirmation and run inside. Millie vaults over the desk as the door slams shut behind them.

Once again loonas phone rings

Loona: ugh what?!

???: (on phone) look lady regardless of whatever the hell he's doing it's imperative i speak to ray-

Loona: look dipshit i told you he's busy!! Don't like it?! How about instead of calling repeatedly like a desperate pussy you come to earth and talk to him yourself!!? *hangs up*

 

The scene changes to a phone being clutched in a black skinny claw. The camera zooms out to reveal mastema the honorary 8th sin of hell, uncle to the princess of hell, brother of lucifer and psycho angel

(A/N please read the fruits of corruption story for better info on him.)

Mastema: earth? The fucks rayden doing on earth?!

A portal opens to stolas' house and mastema steps through

Mastema: STOLAS I NEED A FAVOUR!

 

Cuts back to the camera feed watching Blitzo and Moxxie. Now that their respective trips have worn off, they slowly wake up.

Rayden however is still passed out

Blitzo glances up to see that the truth gas is no longer being pumped into the room. Both are silent for a moment.

Moxxie: Do you remember what you said to me after my first day with the company?

Blitzo: ...Not really.

Moxxie: I remember. You told me I did a good job and that you were proud to work with me. I feel like you wanted to say something more judgmental, but... you said that because I needed it... And it helped.

Blitzo: Look, I'm hard on you, because I know what you're capable of, Mox. You care too much about what everyone thinks except for... me, because, y'know, my opinion is correct, but just... keep doing a good job. 'Kay? You shoot 'n kill good, you escape things easy... you can be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to, aaaand don't expect any more compliments; I'm maxed out.

Moxxie: Thank you, sir.

Blitzo: You know my name... Use it.

Moxxie: Thanks, Blitzo.

Blitzo and Moxxie suddenly look up as they hear a muffled pounding coming from the ceiling. Millie crashes through the ceiling, landing with a superhero pose.

Moxxie: *excited* THERE'S my Millie!

Millie runs over to Moxxie and Blitzo and begins to untie them before cutting raydens body down even though it just falls to the floor

Blitzo: Impressive work, Mills! How'd you get here all by yourself?

Millie and Moxxie have a tender reunion but are rudely interrupted when Loona smashes through the one-way window using Agent Two as a makeshift battering ram.

Blitzo: LOONIE?!

Loona: Get your asses out here before MORE FUCKERS SHOW UP!

Loona throws Agent Two at Agent One as he stands behind her in shock. She crouches, wolf ears sprouting from her head, and leaps, having instantly reverted to her Hellhound form as she lands. A wolf howl sound effect plays as she lands. She drops her backpack and Blitzo and Moxxie grin maniacally at each other. Moxxie pulls out twin submachine guns while Blitzo brandishes his trusty flintlock pistol, flicking the hammer. Agent One weakly presses a button, setting off an alarm. The I.M.P group turn as a few disposable mooks drop from the ceiling holding Japanese weapons, before even more cartoonishly slide in from the sides and encircle them. The I.M.P. group hold fighting poses, ready for a smackdown.

Blitzo: Ooookay, I've had one too many emotions for today! Guys... *turns to Moxxie* Let's FUCK these FUCKERS UP!!

Moxxie give an evil, toothy smile and nods. A fluid fight scene starts as one agent attempts to strike Blitzo with the sickle end of his kusarigama, only for Loona to catch it in her mouth and yank hard, throwing the wielder across the room to hit an agent with a katana. A female agent attempts multiple strikes at Loona with her naginata, but Loona deftly dodges and, with the kusarigama sickle still in her mouth, stabs the agent through the throat. She releases the kusarigama and grabs the chain in her hands while running, wrapping it around another agent's neck and yanking hard enough to decapitate both him and the agent with the sickle end in her throat, sending both their heads flying.

As the two agents' severed heads fly, Millie jumps and twirls in the air with her axe and goes for an agent wielding a katana. He tries to block but is unsuccessful as the axe easily breaks through his sword and he is cleaved in half, splattering blood and brain matter around her.

Millie sees an agent with a two-handed sword running toward her, so she runs up to him and dismembers him in two quick swings. She uses her axe to deflect incoming shuriken and swings at their thrower, but he backflips away as another agent with a sword runs at her. She jumps and flips in the air and lands with a pose, then briefly clashes with the sword-wielding agent before taking off his entire lower half. The shuriken thrower makes a second attempt, but he is easily cut down. She then happily runs off while spinning her axe as the agent she dismembered earlier is seen helplessly flailing his bleeding stumps.

Cuts to a dolly arc shot of Moxxie and Blitzo firing on a multitude of agents coming their way. Blitzo discards his flintlock pistol and reaches for the backpack.

Blitzo: Mox! Cover me!

Moxxie: Yes, sir!

Moxxie unloads his submachine guns in a wide arc, before disposing them as Blitzo hands him two golden revolvers that he uses to great effect. Blitzo, meanwhile, pulls out a vicious-looking knife and runs off, stabbing one agent to death while decapitating another.

Blitzo: EAT! MY! ASS!

Blitzo pulls out his phone and takes a selfie with the agent's severed head before throwing the head to the ground. Moxxie fires his revolvers until they're spent, then he viciously beats one agent to death with the butt of one before discarding them. Blitzo picks up a demonic pump-action shotgun, fires off a shot, then hands it to Moxxie, who blasts two more agents with it. Blitzo shoulders the backpack so it sits on his chest. He and Moxxie turn to each other and nod before running in opposite directions, Moxxie making a demonic hiss as he does.

Quick pan over to Loona as Blitzo joins her. He slithers up into her hair and shoots an agent with a crossbow. One agent swings at her with a sword but she counters with a roundhouse kick to the face. As Blitzo jumps away, Loona turns and delivers a powerful uppercut to the jaw of another sword-wielding agent, sending him into the air. An agent with twin sai comes at her and she crouches down before leaping towards him, biting down so his entire head is in her mouth. She briefly shakes him back and forth before throwing him and grabbing another agent by the face, slamming him to the floor. Blitzo hands her an energy rifle of some sort, which she fires at a few agents

Loona: DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS! *looks down at Blitzo* What?

Blitzo: I am just so damn proud of you, Loonie! *hugs Loona's face and kisses her cheek* Bye, sweetie!

Blitzo slithers off of Loona, who growls angrily at his affection. She then bites down on another agent's head and throws him.

Quick pan back to Blitzo. An agent carrying nunchaku runs at him but is blindsided and knocked away by the agent Loona just threw.

Loona: *to Blitzo, off-screen* Watch out!

Blitzo turns to see Millie cut down two more agents with her axe and twirl it with a flourish.

Blitzo: Hey, Mills!

Millie: Hey, Blitz! Just one sec!

Millie jumps and swings, decapitating one agent. She cuts a leg off of a female agent holding sai, relieves a male sai-wielding agent of his lower torso, then twirls her axe to completely eviscerate an agent holding a straight sword and poses. Blitzo appears to the side with the backpack still strapped to his chest and offers Millie a pump-action shotgun.

Blitzo: Do you need a gun or anything?

Millie: Nah, I'm good!

Millie spins to the side, taking off the lower legs of a female agent with kusarigama then eviscerating her. She swings her axe as leverage for a leap onto another female agent, wrapping her legs around her neck and decapitating at least two more agents with the axe. Millie severs the leg of the agent she's held onto, who then collapses before Millie begins strangling her with her thighs. Blitzo appears to the side again, this time offering a bottle of water.

Blitzo: How about some water?

Millie: Sure!

[Blitzo squeezes the bottle, squirting its contents into her open mouth]

Millie: Ahhh. *snaps the agent's neck* Thanks, Blitz!

Blitzo: *throws the bottle away* No problemy, Millie-Billie!

As Millie runs off to murder even more agents, Blitzo pulls out a submachine gun and a shotgun. Cuts to a close-up of him with a sadistic smile and lightly glowing eyes.

Blitzo: Now, who wants some quality time with Daddy?

The camera zooms out to reveal more agents ready to kill. Blitzo spins his guns, runs at an agent with sai and leaps on him, firing at five agents with his shotgun before blasting the one he's grabbed onto. He leaps off and frontflips, killing two agents with the submachine gun. Once he lands, he pulls a spiked baseball bat out of the backpack strapped to his chest, trips an agent with it, then beats him in the stomach with it. He pulls a grenade out of the backpack and uses the bat to hit it away into a group of hapless agents.

Blitzo: FOOOORE!

The grenade explodes. Cuts to Agents One and Two attempting to flee the building. Blitzo's grenade explodes, and they duck and cover their heads in fear. They then see the corpse of an agent hit the floor, a femur sticking out where his leg should be and his katana falling down and impaling him in the chest.

Agent One: Good God! Why are we only usin' weapons from Japan's Edo Period?!

Agent Two: *grabs Agent One by his suit* Hey! The Edo period was badass, and you know it!

Agent One: Dammit, you're right.

Agent Two: LOOK OOOOUT!

Agent Two pulls Agent One down to the floor down with her as Loona turns around firing her energy rifle at more agents. She fires at agents offscreen as Agents One and Two pull themselves along the floor towards the exit. They are stopped by an agent's freshly severed head landing in front of them, courtesy of Millie. An agent with twin nunchaku runs at her only for limbs and blood to spatter, one nunchaku-wielding arm comically flying up to the ceiling like a helicopter before falling to the floor. The agents turn and pull themselves another way as Loona shakes an agent back and forth in her mouth.

Rayden finally comes to and sees the ongoing fight.

He dizzily stumbles around before regaining his footing

Loona: oh good your up i was worried i'd have to carry your body

Millie: *tosses rayden his katana* welcome to the party rayden

The attacking agents all freeze around rayden

Rayden: y'know before this i would've made your deaths fast...but since your gas made me relive some memories *rayden breathes a breath of smoke* and the fact that now i'm thoroughly pissed off *raydens chest seems to glow* well you can guess the rest

Blitzo and the others instinctively duck

Rayden unleashes a vicious burst of flame from his mouth burning almost all the agents leaving them singed corpses. He continues using it until his breath sputters

Moxxie: Oh, crumbs! Is everyone okay?

Blitzo jumps on him.

Blitzo: WOOOOOO! How's THAT for demon scum?! And rayden how come you never told us you were a dragon?!

Rayden: (raspy) not...a dragon...just something i got... when i died

Moxxie: i'll admit that was impressive mr. blackveil

Millie: how come you don't use it more? It looks effective *she taps a burnt corpse that crumbles to ash when she touches*

Rayden: (raspy) hurts...throat

Cuts to the broken window. Blood is dripping from the few shards left in the frame. Pans over to Agents One and Two hiding under a desk. Agent Two nods at Agent One, signaling him to hit a red button next to him aptly labeled '"RED BUTTON". This sets off an alarm and causes the entire screen to be tinted red.

Blitzo: Oh, shit! C'mon, fam! Let's blow this cocksicle joint!

Blitzo, Rayden, and Loona run for the exit. Millie hoists Moxxie off the ground and they join the rest of the group.

Loona: HEY!

Before they can leave, the doors close in front of them. A set of iron bars lowers in front of the doors, then a garage door closes further down, then a large steel door clamps down, lasers activate outside of it, and bathroom doors close outside of that, the vacancy indicator switching to "Occupied".

Subtle fade back to the I.M.P. gang as they beat against the door.

Moxxie: [to Loona] Quick! The book!

Loona pulls Stolas' Grimoire out of the backpack and attempts to read it.

Loona: Shhhit! I can't... I can't read the spell in this light! I can't see dick! *looks around worried*

Blitzo searches himself for more weapons but comes out empty-handed.

Blitzo: Well, shit. Looks like we've milked this weapon tit dry, and now we're out of badassery.

Rayden: all of you just stay behind me *grips katanna*

The silhouettes of Agents One and Two slide menacingly into view.

Agent Two: Ha! You demons aren't goin' anywhere now! Haaa!

Loona: hey reaper if we're about to die you should know someone was trying to ring you while you were out

Rayden just freezes

Rayden:..what did you say to him?

Loona: eh don't worry i told him to fuck off and hung up on him

Rayden: YOU DID WHAT!?

Before rayden can scold anyone, they begin noticing strange happenings around them.

A melody starts to play

The tvs next to the agents go static and are replaced by laughing faces

Mastema: silly little humans and their silly little guns

As the laughter intensifies black slime drips from above

The agents look up to see a black mass on the ceiling. A large purple eye opens above glowing, locking them in place.

Mastema: you fought demons...how do you feel about something like me?

The goo on the floor slithers around the floor forming a shadow on the floor. The shadow forms a purple smiley face before two outstretched arms burst out of the shadow grabbing the agents by the throats.

Mastemas full body emerges with the smiley mask from where the shadow was.

The arms release the frightened agents

Rayden: that seemed unnecessarily dramatic

Mastema: it's my job

mastema clicks a button, shutting off the alarm and the red light as well. The series of doors is heard opening off-screen. mastema walks up to the gathered I.M.P. group.

Blitzo: uh rayden who's this joker?

Rayden: *sigh* I.M.P this is my primary boss Mastema

Moxxie: MASTEMA?! *immeadiately bows*

Millie: uh mox what're you doing?

Moxxie: bowing to the higher power!!

Mastema: uhh not really necessary

Rayden: How'd you find us exactly?

Mastema: I called in a favour from Stolas. He was able to trace your location using a spell. He also said that a "blitz" owes him something as well later at his place?

Blitzo: Ugh.

Mastema: But that aside, you're all okay?

Rayden: *rolls eyes* yes sir

Mastema: good! In that case one question...WHAT THE EVERLOVING HELL ARE YOU DOING RING JUMPING AND GOING TO EARTH?! *starts shaking rayden* Do you know how much pressure I'm under lately?! I've got the sins and nobility breathing down my neck enough as it is!! And if you get in trouble I get in trouble and believe me that's gonna end badly!!

Loona giggles at the sight

Moxxie: They... caught us off guard, your highness.

Blitzo: ...Yeah, you can untense your mask strap pal. It's not gonna happen again, 'kay?

Mastema: *sigh* you're lucky humanity as a whole is too stupid to tell when a government is telling the truth or not. Especially agents like that

The camera pans and cuts to Agents One and Two holding each other, shaking in fear.

Mastema: but we're talking about your "hobby" when we get back rayden

Rayden: yes sir...

Mastema opens a portal back to the I.M.P. office.

Moxxie: Yes, please. I'd like to get back to the correct hellhole as soon as possible.

Moxxie hops through and helps Millie through, Loona walks through looking at Stolas' Grimoire followed by blitzo and then mastema and rayden

Mastema: hey rayden?

Rayden: hm?

Mastema: we both know i can't stop you from doing this but... mind who sees you because if you get caught by nobility there'll only be so much i can do

Rayden: I know. Believe me i'm prepared for the consequences

Mastema: if you're sure...though i must say it' refreshing to see you taking an interest in friends again

Rayden: we aren't friends

Mastema: uh huh...though which ones the receptionist? I've got some words for her

The portal closes behind them. Agents One and Two watch as they leave.

 

 

Agent Two: ...So, what now?

Agent One: *excited* What now?! *walks off-screen* We finally got the evidence we needed to be taken... seriously!

Agent One walks over to a computer, pushing some rubble away before typing on the keyboard. Four monitors go from static to showing security camera footage of the events of the last few minutes. The first three monitors show footage of the I.M.P. crew slaughtering agents Notably, all three of the monitors showing the I.M.P. crew are green while the footage of rayden is blurring with heat with a cracked camera lens. Agent Two walks up and the two agents put their shades back on, smiling confidently.'

Agent One: Nobody in corporate is ignorin' this. *chuckles victoriously*

The four screens go back to static one at a time, starting with the footage of Loona, followed by Millie, then Blitzo and Moxxie, rayden and finally mastema, who could be seen staring into the camera.

Before anything else an arrow is shot at the screens. Agent one is tackled to the floor by a hooded figure

???: you tried to kill rayden blackveil if you had you'd be dead right now blackveil is MINE to kill

Agent two tries to run but finds a crossbow pointed at her

???: try this again and i'll turn you into taxidermy

Agent one: who are you?!

The figure gets off the agent and lowers his hood revealing his skull bone mask and angel wings

???: Corsintheus, the angel of the hunt

Corsintheus pulls out a device that opens a glitchy portal to a random part of imp city that he steps through as it closes

Corsintheus: and this hunt...is drawing to a close

 

Chapter 12: Rayden's Lesson 5 Physics Are Crap

The girls and carmilla are seen in some kind of rumbling bunker wearing some kind of suits

Clara: these new training areas he sets up get weirder every week

Carmilla: indeed though after the cooking class. Patronizing as it was nothing he does surprises me anymore

Rayden enters wearing a slightly different suit than the girls

Rayden: ok we're at a reasonable altitude to begin

Carmine family thoughts: altitude?

Rayden: todays lesson is about grace

Odette: so we're doing balancing exercises?

Rayden: suppose thats a factor

Clara: yoga?

Rayden: I think?

Carmilla: ok then what is this exactly?

Rayden: best to explain in the descent

Odette: sorry descent?

Rayden throws a switch opening a door beneath them which they all collectively fall through

The carmines all fall panicked while rayden looks like he's in a lounge area

Rayden: the objective of this is to land in a balanced position

Odette: IF WE LIVE I'M GONNA THROTTLE YOU!

Rayden: relax you're wearing impact suits even if you hit the ground you'll be fine

Clara: THAT IS NOT- *Clara is hit by a bird* THAT IS NOT- *Clara is hit by a another bird* THAT IS NOT- *Clara is hit by yet another a bird* THAT IS NOT COMFORTING!

Rayden: fine a free tip. Foliage, feathers, power lines and other people are all good landing sites. That is all

Rayden deploys a parachute while the carmines continue falling

The girls notice a roof garden filled in abundance of fruits they share a glance before getting into a cannonball position landing in the garden splattering the food but cushioning their fall

Rayden: not what I had mind but I'll allow it

Clara: how'd you get here so fast!?

Rayden: skills

Odette: AHHH!! *odette grabs and shakes raydens neck* UGH it's like strangling a pipe!

The three look to carmilla still falling they then see her suit spark out she's caught of guard and starts plummeting dangerously

Clara: that doesn't look good

Rayden: it's not the impact suit short circuited she's gonna die if she hits the ground at that speed.

Rayden positions himself where carmilla was going to hit

He extends his arms to catch her

When she hits his arms he absorbs the impact making large fractures in the building

Carmilla gathers her bearings

Carmilla: uh...thank you mister blackveil

Rayden: don't mention it *gently sets her down* I've caught heavier things anyway

Carmilla: *offended* I'm heavy?

Rayden: yeah?

Carmilla: I see...

Rayden: all the exotic and perfectly forged weapons are.

Carmilla: oh...*hides blush*

Tenant: HEY WHICH OF YOU IS PAYING FOR MY ROOF?!

Rayden: I'll handle this

As rayden settles things with the tenant Clara and odette see their mom blushing and give her a knowing look

Carmilla: what is it girls?

Clara: oh nothing~

Odette: just that people like blackveil are hard to come by aren't they?

Carmilla: what does that have to do with anything?

Odette: I think you can put this together yourself mother

Carmilla blushes harder

 

Chapter 13: Ozzie's

The scene opens up with a city shot that pans down on Imp City. Yelling can be heard in the background. Loona can be seen reading a magazine called "IMP GOSSIP" with Verosika Mayday on the front page and drinking out of a glass bottle. She places the bottle on an open page of Stolas' Grimoire and it rolls off the table. The page of the book glows and creates a portal to the human world. A tree falls through the portal, along with a severed head. Moxxie peers out of the fallen tree, carrying a chainsaw while rayden walks in twirling an axe on a string.

Blitzo walks into the office.

Blitzo: Woo, that was a fuck ton of lumberjacks!

Rayden: they didn't scream like lumberjacks one sounded a animal

Moxxie: that was a bear

Rayden: Is there a difference?

Millie crawls across the floor like a crab, with an axe between her teeth.

Millie: *yells* I'm still so jazzed up!

She snaps the axe in half and laughs. She then walks over near the rest of the group.

Moxxie: Well you better stay jazzed, *points finger guns* babe. Because, guess where I'm taking you tonight?

Blitzo: Don't you dare finish a filthy pun in my presence Moxxie. Besides, drinks are on me tonight. Let's hit up the new dive down the street.

Moxxie: Actually, sir, it's our one-year marriage anniversary. So, I'm taking Millie to Ozzie's in the Lust Ring!

Millie's eyes sparkle and she squeals in delight.

Millie: *gasps* Ozzie's?! No way! That place is always booked!

Moxxie: Yeah, well I've been planning it for quite a while.

Millie: Moxxie!

Rayden had heard of ozzies from mastema owned by asmodeus the sin of lust.

According to Mastema, Asmodeus was one of the few chill sins who mostly kept to himself and had a flare for drama

But unfortunately he didn't care for mastema that much

Millie jumps into Moxxie's arms and kisses his face before they both start French kissing and making out, much to Blitzo's chagrin.

Blitzo: *groans* Ugh, can you two not?

Moxxie: I'm sorry, sir. Maybe another time?

Blitzo: No, it's fine! I'll just go with ray-

Rayden: blitz before you finish that thought think very hard about what you're about to ask and who you're asking

Blitzo:...yeah fair point I'll just come with the two of you, help you celebrate your boring as fuck monogamy.

Moxxie: Uh, no. The reservation is for us.

Blitzo: Uh huh!

Moxxie: Just us.

Blitzo: Mhm!

Moxxie: Without you there. Explicitly without you there.

Blitzo: I'll wear something nice. It's a big deal after all. *hugs the two tightly* See you lovebugs later!

He whistles on his way out as Moxxie growls in anger.

Rayden: *sigh* Well, I'm going home. Have a nice anniversary you two

Millie: Are you...wishing us well? That's unusual of you

Rayden: I'm wishing you luck. You're gonna need it

Moxxie: annnd there he is

Rayden leaves the office

Millie: Relax, sweetie, don't let him get to you today. Let's just go home and... clean this blood off.

Moxxie blushes, flustered. She drags her finger down from his chest and makes a seductive purring sound as they walk off holding hands.

The scene changes to rayden walking down the building until his phone starts buzzing

Rayden: *answers phone* hello?

Carmilla: *on phone* mr. blackveil?

Rayden: Oh ms. Carmine, what can I do for you? If the girls complained about the spikes inform them it was their choice to do that over the pike fish

Carmilla: *on phone* um no i was wondering...if you- *deep breath* if you'd like to accompany me to dinner tonight?

Rayden.exe is processing

Rayden: You want me...in a restaurant? Are you sure?

Carmilla: *on phone* I'm sure. Unless you don't-

Rayden: no. no i'm available. It's just it's been awhile since i was in a restaurant and not on a job.

Carmilla: *on phone* ah. I see I'll send a car to retrieve you in a few hours.

Rayden: very well. I'll...see you then i suppose

Carmilla: *on phone* yes...see you then

The scene changes to the carmines home where carmilla sits at a desk pinching the bridge of her nose while clara and odette stand on either side of her

Carmilla: this is a horrible idea

Odette: optimism might improve things you know

Clara: just go and try to enjoy yourselves

The scene changes again to the hazbin hotel where mastema and charlie are going over some papers

Rayden: Excuse me sir. I've been invited to an outing tonight so i won't be available for any tasks you have

Mastema: hm? Yeah su- wait...SOMEONE INVITED YOU ON A DATE!!?? CHARLIE IT'S HAPPENING!

Charlie: RAYDEN FOUND A PARTNER?! YES!!

Rayden: it's not a date it's an outing

Vaggie: *appears in doorway* What's this about you having a date?!

Rayden: it's an outing not a date

Vaggie: Is she blackmailing you?

Rayden: no

Vaggie: Is she sick?

Rayden: no

Vaggie: Are you sick?

Rayden: maybe? But no not terminally

Vaggie: So someone actually asked you out properly? Huh miracles do occur hell after all

Charlie: sooooo~ what are you wearing?~

Rayden: *pinches his coat* this?

Charlie and mastema just stare at him with deadpan looks

Mastema: yeah no. you're going out not going to war!

Mastema and charlie push rayden into a backroom

Rayden: hey- no- what're you-!!

Charlie: if you're going out you're dressing for it!

One battle to dress rayden later

Rayden is riding in a limo in new clothes and hair design

(Ignore the beard)

Rayden: i feel violated

The limo pulls up to the carmine home and carmila steps into the limo wearing a black dress and her steel boots

Rayden: woah...

Carmilla: I wasn't expecting you to dress for the occasion.

Rayden: it wasn't my choice ugh i feel exposed in this

Carmilla: i like it red compliments you really well

Rayden:......hm...so where is this place exactly?

Carmilla: it's a club of sorts in lust

Rayden: lust? You know i'm not allowed to leave the ring

Carmilla: i filled out the necessary documents so you won't have to worry about legal complications

Rayden: hm so much trouble for me? I'm almost flattered

Carmilla: *chuckles* didn't know that was possible

The scene cuts to Hell's version of a subway.

Intercom: Elevator 666 departing for Lust [in seductive tone] in 5 minutes.

Moxxie fixes his bowtie, Millie walks on screen. They both walk off together and Blitzo peers from on the other side of a pillar. Millie and Moxxie sit down in a waiting area as Blitzo spies on them behind a newspaper and calls Loona.

Loona: (voicemail) Yeah, it's Loona. Whoever you are, go for it.

Blitzo: Hey, Loonie. Just wanted to let you know I'm not gonna be back home until real late. I got something important tonight.

Blitzo ends the voicemail and smirks. The scene cuts to several flickering neon signs. Then it zooms out to the front of Ozzie's and cuts to Moxxie and Millie walking inside the building. Blitzo attempts to follow them in, but the bouncer, Jesse, pulls him aside.

Jesse: Woah there, buddy. Got a reservation?

Blitzo: Oh, yeah. I'm with those two.

Jesse: This club is for couples only.

Blitzo: It's what?

Jesse: No date, no reservation, no entry.

Blitzo looks up and down at Jesse, and tries to pick up the bouncer as his date, instead.

Blitzo: ...Y-you know, *bats eyes* you have really nice eyes, daddy?

He gets thrown into the lid of a dumpster, then shut inside. Blitzo pops up out of the trash.

Blitzo: You fucking prude! *Flips him off behind his back*

He gets out, his tail gets caught, and he ends up on top of trash bags. He crosses his arms and smiles. It cuts to Stolas in his mansion's dining area, pouring milk into his cereal. He groans as it shows him sitting at an empty table. He carries his bowl to a couch and covers himself with a blanket. Stolas turns on the TV to "Hell-a-Novela" and slumps down.

Gabriella: Ay, why won't you love me Alejandro?

Stolas: That's a mood, Gabriella. *eats a spoonful of cereal*

The telephone rings. Smoke comes out and says "Blitzy is calling". Stolas realizes and slightly chokes but then scrambles over to the phone, spilling his bowl and getting stuck in his blanket in the process.

Stolas: Helloo? Hello, Blitzy?

Blitzo: Stolas, heyyy. You-uh, shit... you busy tonight?

Stolas: Umm, why do you ask?

Blitzo: I was wondering if you... wanna come with me to a club tonight?

Stolas: Are you asking me on a date, Blitzy? *blushing and his pupils turn into hearts*

Blitzo: I-yes, I suppose that is what's happening. How fast can you get down to ?

Stolas: I can be ready in twenty!

Blitzo: Alright, fantastic. See you soon.

Stolas: I'll see you, Blitzy~

Stolas pulls out an outfit, transitioning to him putting on eyeliner, looking in the mirror. He turns around and puts on blush.

Inside the club asmodeus and Fizzarolli survey the club as patrons walk in and take their seats

Aamon: wanna know something funny? Ever since you brought the clown in here this place smells more like fish than it usually does

asmodeus and fizz turn to see aamon making his way to the balcony

Fizzarolli: Hey, I can't help it if I'm so appealing to people!

Aamon: you might want to though i saw some fizz simps walk in holding socks

Fizz chuckled but was slightly nervous at that information

Asmodeus: no company this time smokebreath?

Aamon: believe me you two are more preferable company over some of the many pompous aristocrats i have to deal with

Asmodeus: But they're not all bad though hm~?

Aamon: i don't know what you mean *lights his opium pipe*

Asmodeus: oh i think you do~

Fizzarolli: we both know you reserve your best for a certain parrot~

Aamon: I will take these gloves off you two.

Asmodeus: *chuckling* okay okay. But you are in lust little secrets like that are gonna come up you know~

Aamon: i'm here because it provides me with some conversation, entertainment and free narcotics *breathes green smoke* and i really need to numb this headache my sister brought on with her rants

Asmodeus: Well, we haven't failed to entertain you so far.

Aamon chuckles as he breathes out blue smoke

Rayden and carmilla enter ozzies

Rayden: looks how i pictured it

A waiter leads the two to a balcony table

Rayden: So what happens now?

Carmilla: hm? Well we wait until a waiter comes along to take our order.

The two just sit in silence

Rayden thoughts: why is this atmosphere making me tense?

It switches over to Blitzo pacing back and forth on a street.

Blitzo: Come on, come on, come on...

Stolas arrives and steps through a glowing portal behind Blitzo.

Stolas: Oh, Blitzy. I'm here~

A spotlight appears on Blitzo.

Blitzo: Wow. That's a bit overkill, don't ya think?

Stolas: *chuckles as he fixes his suit* W-well, I-I just wanted to look a little nicer for you. This is our first real date after all.

They both walk off together, holding hands.

Blitzo: Oh yeah, I guess this is, huh.

Jesse: You, again? Beat it, shithea-

Stolas: Ahem, do we have a problem?

Jesse: ...Oh! Uh, shit! Uh, my apologies, your highness. Uh, please go right in.

Blitzo pops out behind the curtain and flips off the bouncer before going inside.

Blitzo and Stolas enter Ozzie's and find a table.

Stolas: *gasps* Oh, MY! Oh, no; No, but, yes! Oh, Blitzo, how romantic is this? What made you choose such a place to bring me?

Blitzo: *pulls out a pair of binoculars* Oh, it just sounded like- I just thought we'd have a blast here, you know? *spots his employees* Gotcha!

Stolas: Oh, Blitzo. What are you looking at?

Blitzo: *without looking at him* I'm looking at nothing; how about that?

Back at rayden and carmillas table rayden was tapping his mechanical finger rapidly.

For some reason he was feeling extremely anxious and took off his glasses to try and collect himself

Carmilla: oh

Rayden: what?

Carmilla: your eyes are actually red. I just thought your lens were just choice design.

Rayden: No, they're natural. Family trait i've been told

Carmilla: your family? And what were they like? Same as you?

Rayden: I've got an uncle who might just be the most stubborn piece of shit I know from what he told me all blackveils have this trait of being wrathful people. Well almost all of them...

Carmilla: someone broke the mold?

Rayden: yeah...she didn't exactly want the life the family offered her...she struck out on her own and went to university. Heh she wanted to become an author one day she definitely had the talent to do so but...

Carmilla noticed rayden seemed more sullen

Rayden: ...life had other plans... *ahem* though all blackveils have little dreams like that

Carmilla: Is your music proficiency yours?

Rayden: i wouldn't say-

Carmilla: i heard your music rayden you have a natural gift for it don't you think otherwise

Rayden: hm

Carmilla: my daughters might like some music lessons from you

Rayden: ha! Odette maybe claras tastes aren't exactly "in tune" with mine

Carmilla: she does have unique tastes doesn't she?

Rayden: and i've met the artists they aren't exactly nice to listen to speaking wise

Carmilla: you met the artist?

Rayden: long story

Carmilla: well we've got time don't we?

Rayden: well...

Rayden begins recounting spring broken

A waitress named Crane comes over to stolas and blitzos table.

Crane: Can I get you two off- I mean, start you two off with some drinks?

Stolas: Yes! Um, perhaps some wine to share; do you prefer red wine or white, Blitzo? Or perhaps some champagne?

Blitzo: *still not facing him* Yeah, whatever.

Stolas: *nervously chuckles]* Well, perhaps all three. Why not? So, Blitzo, how was your day?

Blitzo: *finally looks at Stolas* Huh? Oh, good I guess. We killed a bunch of beardos

Stolas: THAT sounds fun! How did you kill them?

Blitzo: How? I-I-I mean, there was a lot of them, so I-bullets.

Stolas: Right, right... so, what made you decide to ask me out after all this time?

Blitzo: Uhhhh...

Music starts playing and several dancers descend from the ceiling. Catching raydens attention

Fizzarolli: (voiceover) Ladies and gentlemen! I see some sexy faces around here tonight! [*descends from the center stage* Welcome, welcome, to Ozzie's: Lust ring's number 1 place for all kinds of sick twisted fantasies. Put on display for all you 'Sleaze' and 'Sleazettes'. The gin joint of Asmodeus himself! C'mon, give him some LOVE!

Rayden: oh not this guy again

Stolas: Did he just say Asmodeus?

Blitzo: Oh, no fucking way. Not HIM! *hides behind a menu*

Fizzarolli: I am the one and only Fizzarolli! Some of you may recognize this dashing clown face from my numerous toy-botic replicas across the rings of Hell. Gloriously designed by the big man himself and uh, *[rolls up a sleeve, revealing a cybernetic arm]* ribbed for your pleasure tonight. We have a great lineup for you tonight: Verosika Mayday, Wet Dream and The Squirterz!

Rayden: Remember that artist I mentioned?

Carmilla: yes

Rayden points to verosika

Carmilla:...oh no

Verosika appears at the bar and quickly shoves aside Wally Wackford as the latter hands her a drink. Verosika then poses during a paparazzi as members of the Squirterz appear beside her.

Fizzarolli: But, as everyone's warming up, I got a funny one for y'all: Did any of you hear about the bat-shittery that happened at Loo Loo Land?

Audience laughs.

Fizzarolli: Ha ha ha! Oh, yeah Oh, wow. I'll tell you what: I'd sure love to shake the hand of the crazy son of a bitch who decided to blow up that off brand shithole and then slap a fat subpoena in it, 'cause I am VERY MUCH looking to sue!

Blitzo: *mumbling* dammit rayden

Rayden thoughts: no regrets

Fizzarolli: That robo me made us more money entertaining those kids than the ones we sell to get you freaks off, if you know what I mean. *giggles maniacally*

Random patron: Oh, I know what you mean! I have four of them!

Fizzarolli: *pulls out hidden mic* Okay, keep that guy FAR away from me. *back to the audience*So, without wasting any more time, our little opening act is a fresh one! Coming at us from a little imp from the Wrath Ring, give it up for Moxxie... with no creative stage name whatsoever.

Rayden: who isn't at this club?

The audience applauds, as Moxxie gets up with his guitar before kissing Millie on the cheek. Fizzarolli moves from his spot to another, as Moxxie takes the stage.

Moxxie: Hello, everyone -- (feedback from the microphone) Oh! *clears throat* Hi, thank you for letting me be here. It's an honor to play.

Wally Wackford: *off-screen, slurring* Uh, hurry up, boy, and, uh, SING, boy! I say, I say--

Moxxie: This song is for my beautiful wife, a surprise for our first anniversary.

Cut to Millie with a happy look on her face.

Moxxie: I love you Millie. *starts strumming his guitar as he begins to sing his song.*

Moxxie: ♫I love you. ♫

Moxxie: ♫More than the brimstone loves the fire.♫

Moxxie: ♫More than Beelze loves her bub♫

Moxxie: ♫More than a maggot loves gangrenes stubs♫

During the song, everyone looks with a confused look on their face. Millie is just touched by the song playing,

Fizzarolli looks at Ozzie and Aamon with a smug look while Ozzie glares

Aamon: hmm i'm not sure realizes where he is

Asmodeus: think you can provide some smoke goldy?

Aamon: *chuckles*

Moxxie: ♫You make my spirit sing♫

Moxxie: ♫Yeah, you make me glad I live in Hell♫

Moxxie: ♫Our love is a story sweet to tell♫

Moxxie: ♫Yeah, you cast a special Satanic spell♫

Moxxie: ♫Over my heart♫

The smoke machines activates, hitting Millie directly. The scene is full of pink smoke and hearts only surrounding Moxxie and Millie.

Moxxie: ♫Love is a journey we decided to start♫

Moxxie: ♫Yeah, I hope we'll never ever be apart♫

Moxxie:♫I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you♫

Singing the same line over and over, aamon breathes a large cloud of blue smoke the covers the stage as moxxie is drowned by Fizzarolli and Asmodeus saying the same thing over him. Their silhouettes are shown laughing right behind his back. They appear from the smoke.

Asmodeus: ♫You singing love songs in my lustful lounge?♫

Fizzarolli: ♫Ozzie's ain't the place for sentimental sounds!♫

Asmodeus: ♫What'd you expect from a proprietor like us?♫

Fizzarolli: ♫Your demon host, Asmodeus, the embodiment of lu-u-u-u-u-ust!♫

Asmodeus: ♫Give me a thrust! ♫

Fizzarolli makes trumpet sounds

Asmodeus: ♫Show me some lust! ♫

Fizzarolli trumpets, again.

Asmodeus: ♫From the groin to the bust! In desire we trust, in the House of Asmodeus♫

Fizzarolli: *vocalizing, again* Trumpet! Hah!

Asmodeus: ♫Little Imp, you came here to sing your serenade♫

Asmodeus: ♫Perform your feelings on a velvety stage♫

Asmodeus: ♫Well, we got a saying that's popular in these parts♫

Fizzarolli: ♫Only little bitches strum the strings of their hearts!♫

Asmodeus: ♫You wanna hang around this lustful town?♫

Asmodeus: ♫Ditch the lovey-dovey before we knock you around! ♫

Asmodeus ♫Here we sing about wants and desires♫

Fizzarolli: ♫Depravity, savagery, loins hotter than fire!♫

Asmodeus: ♫So, give me a thrust♫

Asmodeus: ♫Show me some lu-u-u-u-ust♫

Asmodeus: ♫From the groin to the bust, Little Imp, you just must♫

Asmodeus: ♫In the House of Asmodeus♫

Asmodeus: ♫Come on, sing us a so-o-o-o-ong!♫

Asmodeus dances on a pole while Fizzarolli throws money on him

Asmodeus: ♫Make sure the subject is getting it on♫

Asmodeus: ♫Make it graphic and tantrically long♫

Fizzarolli: ♫Be sure to rhyme "thong" and "schlong"!♫

Asmodeus: ♫Go ahead, your mic's on! ♫

Moxxie nervously continues his part of the song. He strums his guitar once more quietly.

Moxxie: ♫I want to...♫

Fizzarolli: Yeah, what do you want? Butt stuff? Piss play? Bondage?

Moxxie: ♫Make gentle love to you♫

Asmodeus and Fizzarolli are not pleased with the response he gave.

Asmodeus: Ugh!

Asmodeus: ♫What a limp-dick imp, you're really killing the vibe♫

Asmodeus: ♫Get a load of this dweeb and his unsatisfied bride!♫

Rayden grips his mechanical arm annoyed at the two singers

The audience make fun of Moxxie, until the song is interrupted by Blitzo speaking up.

Blitzo: Hey, now. I've watched those two pork many times.

Moxxie: What?! Blitz?!

Blitzo: And, honestly, they make missionary look- relatively exciting.

Fizzarolli: ♫Is that Blitz-o? So, you're showing your face?!♫

Fizzarolli: ♫Hey, everybody! This guy's a total disgrace!♫

Fizzarolli: ♫Some nerve you've got to comment on a relationship♫

Fizzarolli: ♫Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit!♫

Verosika appears behind the two with the spotlight on her.

Verosika: Oh, Blitz-o?

Verosika: ♫I used to date him (date him, date him!)♫

Blitzo: *annoyed* Oh, Verosika, you're here.

Verosika: ♫I'd stroke and I'd fellate him (fellate him, fellate him!)♫

Verosika: ♫Yeah, but when it was my turn (my turn, my turn!)♫

Verosika: ♫He did no reciprocatin' (what a dick bag!)♫

Verosika: ♫A selfish imp in the sheets♫

Verosika backs Blitzo against the wall.

Verosika: ♫And just as bad in the streets♫

Verosika: ♫A reckless, heartbreaking freak!♫

Asmodeus: ♫Who's that at the table? Is your date a demon prince?♫

Aamon looks down curious

Asmodeus: ♫Stolas, is that you?♫

Wally Wackford: Are you sleepin' with an Imp?!

Aamon starts violently coughing dropping his pipe in surprise stolas was here

Asmodeus: ♫Wooo! My dark lord, how the mighty do fall♫

Asmodeus: ♫You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all♫

Illusions of Octavia and Stella appear before him, until they walk away and disappear, leaving only Blitzo in front of him

Asmodeus: ♫I hope you didn't give it up. So, you and him could get it on♫

Rayden: And that's my patience gone. Scuse me for a moment carmilla

Carmilla watches in confusion as rayden heads down

Stolas and Blitzo look away from each other in shame

Asmodeus: ♫You sold your life for a thrust!♫

Asmodeus: ♫Now, that's the spirit of lu-u-u-ust!♫

Asmodeus: ♫Grab your groin or a bust♫

Asmodeus: ♫Prepare to get your hair mussed♫

Asmodeus: ♫Pretend you don't see that crust♫

Asmodeus: ♫Hump 'til your junk turns to dust!♫

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus: ♫In the House of Asmode-e-e-e--♫

Rayden hammers fizz down on the head from behind with his mechanical arm knocking him out

Asmodeus: Hey!

Rayden: everyone listen and listen well. Anyone who interrupts or insults this guy further i will personally rip apart like paper. Understood?!

Audience gulps and nods

Rayden: also my lady friend and i haven't gotten served yet

A waiter grabs some menus and runs to the table quikly

Rayden: finish your song mox

Moxxie: is this your luck?

Rayden: it's a favour. *hands him his guitar* free of charge

Moxxie strums his guitar once more. As rayden heads offstage

Moxxie: ♫I love us♫

Moxxie: ♫I love us just the way we are♫

Asmodeus tends to a knocked out Fizzarolli.

Moxxie: ♫Don't have to pretend to like to do things we don't♫

Moxxie: ♫I've always got you around to laugh at my stupid jokes♫

Moxxie: ♫I'll never take you for granted♫

Moxxie: ♫I'll always give you my best♫

Moxxie: ♫And if you can offer the same thing♫

Moxxie: ♫We'll handle the rest♫

Moxxie: ♫'Cause I love you♫

Asmodeus and Fizzarolli share a cuddle, while Verosika drinks a cup of wine.

Moxxie: ♫'Cause I love you♫

Moxxie and Millie lean in for a passionate kiss. The audience applauds. Stolas looks at Blitzo who seems humiliated. He reaches his hand towards his to comfort him, but Blitzo pulls his hand away from Stolas.

Blitzo: You know what? This was a mistake. Alright, let's just -- let's just leave.

Stolas: Oh. Right. Of course.

Blitzo and Stolas leave the building. Aamon notices this and heads off as well concerned for what he just witnessed

Moxxie and Millie still sharing a kiss, while Fizzarolli, with an unimpressed face, and Asmodeus watch in on them.

Asmodeus: Aww... ain't that just such a happy display? It sickens me! *demonic voice* GET THE FUCK OUT!

Rayden sits back down with carmilla

Carmilla: that was surprisingly nice of you

Rayden: eh i just hated the clown and that chicken acting smug

Carmilla: you can try as hard as you want rayden but know there's more than a stone cold shell to you. You have feelings and a soul and it's a noble one

Rayden: you see that in me?

Carmilla: clearly

The waiter comes by with every drink in the club before running off

Rayden: hm...well we have options at least

Carmilla nods as they open a bottle

Cut to the outside of Stolas' mansion, Blitzo drives Stolas back to his place, who bumps his head getting out of the van.

Stolas: Thank you, for... inviting me out tonight. Despite everything that's happened, I...I enjoyed spending time with you.

Blitzo: *irritated* Yeah.

Stolas: You know, I have some more wine in the house. Octavia's with her mother this weekend. So, we could--

Blitzo: I'm not fucking you tonight, okay? I'm really just -- [sighs] I'm really not in the mood, Stolas.

Stolas: We could talk, or... watch a movie, or... maybe cuddle?

Blitzo: Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time. *voice breaking* But, I just, I-I can't do it tonight, okay?

Both Stolas and Blitzo look at each other with sad looks on their faces.

Blitzo: I'm sorry.

Stolas: Okay. *sighs* Goodnight, Blitzo.

Blitzo: Night.

Blitzo drives away from the mansion's driveway, leaving Stolas all by himself, shedding a tear, and sitting in front of his staircase, feeling some form of regret.

Cut to Blitzo, sighing and walking into his apartment. His shadow is seen past a wall of various photos of his coworkers. Blitzo is scribbled out in all of the photos he is in. He attempts to knock on Loona's door, despite the warning signs, and finds a note taped on the door that says, "Tex Invited me to a party, B back late, Don't wait up!" Blitzo, disappointed again, slumps onto his couch, pulls out his phone, and looks at various photos of himself. He comes across a picture of him and Stolas cuddling, swipes to a picture of him drinking bubble tea with Moxxie and Millie, then swipes to a photo of him with Moxxie joining I.M.P., swiping to a photo to when he first adopted Loona, then swipes to a photo with him and Verosika. Eventually, he swipes to photos of his younger self with a younger Fizzarolli (whose skin color and head tattoo is similar to that of Blitzo's. And finally, Blitzo stops scrolling when he gets to a photo with him and his sister and mother. This causes him to curl up and cry into a pillow.

The scene changes to some kind of bedroom

Rayden emerges dizzy. Dizzy was new to him.

He also didn't remember how he'd gotten to or why he was in the room

Or why he was naked

He glanced to the side and got his answer

There lay carmilla right next to him, also wearing nothing and sleeping peacefully

Rayden sighed stretching his face not taking his eyes off carmilla as he he lay back down

Rayden: *sigh* rayden blackveil what have you gotten yourself into?

Outside the building someone observes rayden through a crossbow sniper scope perched on another building

Corsintheus: gotcha

 

Chapter 14: Queen Bee

The scene opens with rayden walking through the streets of lust. He'd been out for half an hour trying to clear his head.

He'd just slept with Carmilla and now he didn't know what to think.

Mixing business with pleasure was beyond risky; it left an opening in raydens carefully crafted armour.

And openings are exploited.

Rayden was so busy in thought he didn't feel himself getting grabbed by the throat and flown across the street

Rayden looked up to see his attacker was an angel upon appearance considering he had wings..

But he didn't look the part

He wore a skull made of bone and his armour was decorated with dead animals. Pelts, teeth and the like.

He rammed rayden into the street skinning his backside against the road before throwing him into through a building window.

The angel lands on the ground

Corsintheus: hm i was told you were impossible to sneak up on, oh well...

Corsintheus brings out an angelic steel automatic crossbow

Corsintheus: being surprised is half the thrill of the hunt. *throws off white hood and cape* lets try and keep it interesting though

 

 

Loona sitting in the back of a car. Her phone buzzes, and she looks down and sees Blitzo trying to call her. She declines the call.

Driver: (offscreen) You want me to drop you off here?

Loona: *glances out the window* Oh! Uh! Yeah. Yeah, this looks right. I, uh haven't been here before.

Loona steps out of the vehicle and music can be heard playing as the car drives off. She looks down at her phone and texts Vortex.

Loona: (over text) Hey, I'm her

Loona: (over text) Oh shit

Loona: (over text) *here, sry :)

Loona looks around nervously until Vortex calls out to her.

Vortex: *waves hand* Loo-naaa!

Vortex: Hey girl! Glad you could make it!

Loona: Tex! Yeah, hey. Thanks for inviting me.

The two walk into the mansion, where the party is taking place.

Vortex: Course! Course! Hey, everyone! Meet the new face!

Vortex howls in excitement, prompting everyone else to do the same.

Vortex: You want a- drink or anything?

Loona: Oh, uh... *tail rises* sure! Yeah, totally...

Loona drops her fake smile and looks over to a group of valley girl-esque hellhounds.

Vikki: And so, I told him "I'm not gonna go get it, unless you fucking throw it this time."

Dalmatian Hellhound: That is so, not fetch!

Vikki: Not fetch...

Before Vikki could continue, Loona chimes in nervously.

Loona: (nervously) Ha, ha, ha, yeah! Like, that happens all the time. Aha...aha...

Vikki: Oh-em-gee. Loona? Lunatic Luna? That you?

Loona: Uhhh, yeah. It's Loona... yeah.

Vikki: Wow. I can't believe you're showing up to another party. I mean, do you even remember the last one?

Loona: *grits teeth* I'm sure you'll remind me.

Vikki: *takes out phone* Yeah, this... *shows a picture of Loona vomiting* This you right?

Loona growls in response.

Loona: Why do you still have that?

Vikki: *looks over to the picture* It brings me joy. You know, you're supposed to keep things that bring you joy.

Loona growls even more at her.

Vikki: Wow... you're being really negative. Your aura is really aggressive right now.

Loona: Oh, yeah? Well maybe it's 'cus I'm in the presence of a massive bitch!

The word "bitch" echoes throughout the party, making everyone else gasp in disapproval.

Vikki: *feigns being offended* Oh... my dog... Wow!

Loona: What? Is that not an okay thing to say? Like, come on, it's true!

Demon: (offscreen) You can't say that.

Loona's ears droop in response as Vortex comes back with drinks.

Vortex: (confused) Did I miss anything?

[Loona notices and puts up her fake smile again.]

Loona: *takes drink* No, no, no... Haha... No, nothing... *clears throat* No.

[A voice offscreen booms through a microphone, attracting most of the partygoers.]

Unknown Demon: (offscreen) Haha! How're my dirty bitches doing toniiiiight?

[Vortex smiles at Loona in response, inviting her over.]

Unknown Demon: Awooh, awooh! Y'all ready to party with the Queen Bee of Glu-tto-ny? Come on!

The demon reveals herself to be none other than Beelzebub, who was twirling around the disco ball as she hypes up her audience of partygoers.

Beelzebub: Hell yeah! 'Cus the honey is flowin' tonight! And this bitch 'bout to get fuckin' wild! Let's get it started!

Beelzebub grabs onto a pole. Cut to Loona looking around nervously as Beelzebub starts to sing her song.

Beelzebub ends her performance with a firework of confetti and the hellhounds cheer as Loona shakes the cotton candy out of her hair.

 

 

The scene changes back to lust as corsintheus enters the building where rayden was thrown crossbow at the ready.

Rayden: (offscreen) you're awfully early for extermination day aren't you? Or are you some poor straggler who ran away when you saw who was winning?

Corsintheus: heh heh you're funny. No, I'm not one of those lower angels. I don't bother with their senseless slaughter every year there's no challenge to it

Corsintheus aims his crossbow in various directions searching for rayden

Rayden: (offscreen)that still doesn't explain why you're here

Corsintheus: Sorry I succumb to my own pride at times. I've been dispatched at the will of my superior-

Rayden leaps out of shadows brandishing a angelic knife

Corsintheus: *turns to rayden fast* -to kill you

Corsintheus crossbow glows before firing an arrow through raydens shoulder that pulls him out of the building and pinning him to a wall outside

Rayden pulls the arrow out and tosses it aside

Dozens upon dozens more arrows fly out of the hole rayden ducks and runs as the arrows follow him and keep hitting the wall

Corsintheus flies out and into the air observing rayden

Corsintheus: impressive most sinners are never quick enough to dodge all my shots heh the lieutenants information is holding up.

Corsintheus gives chase to rayden firing more arrows even as he dodges them.

Had he arrived in his usual attire and gear rayden would've had a better advantage. However seeing as how charlie and mastema stripped him of it he was lacking his edge.

Not that, that was going to stop him from fighting back

Rayden jumped onto a pole and flipped himself into the air

Corsintheus fires a set of arrows into the air only for rayden to grab one and land on him and jab the arrow into his back making corsintheus grunt in pain

Corsintheus tries to shake rayden off as he desperately hangs on.

He dives down and flies through the streets of lust.

Particularly the street that had a lot of stores with hanging signs

As they fly through the signs keep hitting rayden in the face

Rayden: why *hit by a sign* does *hit by a sign* lust *hit by a sign* have *hit by a sign* so *hit by a sign* many *hit by a sign* signs!!?

Rayden twists the arrow in corsintheus back making him fly erratically

Corsintheus pushes a button on some kind of wrist device making a portal in the sky which they fly through

 

The scene changes back to beelzebubs party

Beelzebub: Awooh, awooh! Vortex! *flies over to Vortex* The party is buzzin' now!

Beelzebub: Fuck! *dusts herself off* I feel like I went a little too hard with the confetti this time though. I have like, *materializes a mini rainbow.* a rainbow... in my vagina right now.

Beelzebub: *notices Loona* Oh, hey! Is this the sweet pup you told me about?

Loona: (offended) Excuse me?

Beelzebub: She's a fuckin' cutie! Where you been hiding girl? *laughs*

Loona: Is there something funny?

Beelzebub: Nah, I'm just really high on all this tasty energy right now. Tex says you don't get invited out much. I hope this itty-bitty get-together can serve as a fun first time.

Loona briefly looks behind her to see a hellhound slide down a staircase only to get hit in the crotch when he gets down.

Loona: Mm-hmm.

Beelzebub: I would've thrown a bigger one, but I couldn't convince Belphegor to let me break into her stash of party drugs. So fucking lame! I mean, I usually just steal them, but Belle changed the locks.

Beelzebub: *conjures a bottle of beer* She says I'm a total jackass for trying. But, hey... I'm proud to be a total jackass. *drinks from the bottle*

Vortex: Heh. Anyway, yeah Bee, this is Loona. And, Loona, this is my girlfriend, Bee.

Beelzebub: Nice to meetcha, bitch!

Loona: Oh, this is... she's hot! *widens eyes in realization*

Beelzebub: Ha! Holy shit! Okay. Tex you didn't tell me she was hilarious. That's so funny.

Loona: Right.

Beelzebub: I love that that's the first thing you say to me. You don't give a shit how freaky you come off, and that's. Fucking. Beautiful. *moves next to Loona* You are my new favorite person.

Loona: *fake smiling* Am I, though?

Beelzebub: Yeah, bitch! *laughs* No, really. Reminds me of the time I saw Satan without a shirt on.

Vortex turns his head towards her at this.

Beelzebub: I was like, "Oof! Boy! You are hot as hell!".

Beelzebub: But, then I wanted to die, 'cause it was so awkward. 'Cause he's more like a brother to me. You know? But not actually my brother. So, I guess... it was fine. I could hit that...

Loona looks around awkwardly.

Beelzebub: Anyway, girl, you have a good time tonight. Get some sweets, get some eats. Drink it, tear it, fuck it up! Whoo!

Bee walks over to some party guests.

Beelzebub: Cheers, honey! Thank you for coming. Do you need anything? Are you having fun? Are you good? Are you drunk?

A hellhound with a cone full of Beelzejuice nods in response.

Beelzebub: Okay, good. Okay, great... *walks off*

Loona: Yeeeah, I'm gonna go.

Vortex: Uh, what? Why? You just got here. At least one drink, right?

Loona: Nope, you really wouldn't like me after one drink.

She puts her cup down at a nearby staircase and walks out the door, shedding tears as she calls Blitzo.

Meanwhile, Blitzo, still in the aftermath of his night out with Stolas, hears his phone ring, then he looks at it and his eyes bug out.

Back at the party, Loona is waiting for Blitzo.

Loona: *sighs* So stupid. I shouldn't have come.

The I.M.P. van arrives as Blitzo rolls down the window.

Blitzo: Hey Loonie. How you doin', you alright?

Loona: *gets in the van* Yeah I'm fine. I just wanna go.

Imp: He-hey, that sounds like Blitzo!

Blitzo: The o is silent, asshole!

Imp: He-hey, I knew it was you! Fuck, man, where you been? You here for the party?

Blitzo: N-no, I'm just here picking up my daughter.

Imp: Oh, shit! Do you have a daughter now?

Loona: (annoyed) Adopted!

Imp: Oh, man, you're already leaving? Things just got started. Come in and show us all up again.

Blitzo: No, no, thank you. But I think Loonie wants to head back.

Loona notices a handsome hellhound approaching the van.

Hellhound: Huh, the hottie next to you wants to leave?

Blitzo: *growls* Watch it!

Loona: *tail wagging* I mean, we could stay a little longer.

Blitzo: I think we need to go, m'kay? I think it's been a long night.

Loona: Well, these people seem to know you. Come on! I think I wanna give this another try. *makes puppy dog eyes.* Pleeease?

Blitzo: *rubs his temples* Okay, fine. Maybe one drink.

 

Cut to rayden and corsintheus flying through the desert in wrath

He grabs rayden and throws him into a mountain side creating a cloud of dust

Corsintheus lands pulling out the arrow and tossing it

Corsintheus: hm damn stubborn sinner you really are a nuisance

Corsintheus notices rayden has once again vanished

Corsintheus: hiding again are we? You don't learn do you? I've hunted creatures far superior at camouflage than you...though i'd be lying if i said a sinner fighting back wasn't surprising

A rattle nearby makes corsintheus fire an arrow in the direction it came from only for it to hit nothing

Corsintheus: eh?

Rayden throws his knife at the crossbow knocking it out of corsintheus hands

Corsintheus: clever...but you're foolish if you think that'll heavily impact my skill.

Two blades eject from corsintheus wrists

Corsintheus: hunters are primal beings, our skill comes from our very being. We thrive on challenge and the blood it brings but you? You sinners are less than insects to me, barely a chore. You'll fall...like all the others who opposed heaven

Rayden: hm you're making an awful lot of effort for an 'insect' after all i'm still standing aren't i?

Corsintheus scoffs before charging at rayden slashing his blades at him while he dodges most

He brings down his blades only for rayden to grab his arms

Corsintheus: heh heh they always grab the arms first

Rayden: the fuck are you-

Corsintheus knees rayden in the chest with a sharpened bone kneecap which he does repeatedly before slashing him across the chest and then bashing him against the rocks as he starts bleeding out

Rayden tries to get up but falls down

Corsintheus manifests a spear in his hand

Corsintheus: hmph clearly the lieutenant was exaggerating in her report. I mean look at you...down for the count in less than a few minutes

He raises the spear over rayden

Corsintheus: i pity the bitch who had to raise you

Rayden suddenly snaps and charge tackles Corsintheus punching him in the face breaking his nose making him stumble back

Corsintheus: AH! YOU PIECE OF SH-

Rayden cuts him off by repeatedly punching him in the face before tackling him to the ground.

The pair viciously wrestle with Corsintheus using blades to cut rzydens body but rayden remains unfazed.

Corsintheus pushes raydens face upwards and kicks him off

He then charges at rayden with his spear.

Raydens chest glows as he unleashes a furious breath of fire at Corsintheus who jumps back missing the worst of the burn but notices his spear has been melted.

Corsintheus: that's- that's impossible- you can't be a-

Rayden tackles Corsintheus off a cliff punching him and so hard his mask breaks off and tearing off his armour

The device on Corsintheus wrist activates and another portal opens below them.

 

 

Cut to Blitzo drinking from a keg as the other guests chant.

Loona: Blitzo! Blitzo! Blitzo! Blitzo!

Blitzo: *hops off the empty keg* Aaagh!

The hellhounds howl, even Loona.

Blitzo: Ha ha! That was nothing bitch! Give me a real challenge!

[Beelzebub then appears behind Blitzo holding a chicken leg.]

Beelzebub: Oh, yeah? Wanna fucks with the big bitch, imp boy? I got a challenge for ya.

Vikki: Oh... He's gonna die.

Vortex: *arrives with two yellow kegs* Aaaalright, let's do this! *puts the kegs down* From Bee's personal supply, the hardest shit there is.

Blitzo does some stretches.

Vortex: You ready, my man?

Blitzo: Oh, born ready! *tries to open one of the kegs* Bring it, barky! I will drink you under this fucking table, you have no idea what kind of night I've had!

[Beelzebub uses her powers to lift the kegs and prep nozzles for them.]

Beelzebub: *laughs* Alright, shit talker, but there hasn't been a soul yet who can beat me at my own game. So, you better bring the fire, baby.

Blitzo: Oh, is Queen Bee too scared to lose to a little imp like me?

Beelzebub: Oh, okay. Let's get it on, you little bastard!

Vortex signals for the contest to begin, and Beelzebub and Blitzo start drinking.

Loona: Come on, Blitz! Fuck her up! You can do it!

Blitzo rips off the nozzle and chugs the whole keg, surprising Beelzebub, who looks at him in concern.

Blitzo: *climbs on top of the empty keg* Who's the queen now?!

Loona: Yeah! That's my DAD!

Beelzebub: Well fuck me! That's a first. I haven't had a first in a while. That was magical, seriously, impressive. I tip my crown to you, imp boy. *bows before Blitzo* Respect.

She howls, prompting the other party guests, including Loona, to cheer as Blitzo passes out drunk, as he gets carried off as Beelzebub and Vortex look at each other in concern.

As the party continues, the guests continue having fun and chatting, Loona is shown laughing with a couple of other hellhounds, and Vortex taps her on the shoulder.

Vortex: Hey, Loon. I don't mean to be a buzz kill here. But your uh, dad... guy dude... Is um... He's seeming a bit...

Beelzebub then comes up behind him looking concerned.

Beelzebub: Out of control, like... A mess.

Vortex: Yeah, it's worrisome. You wanna maybe check on him or something?

Loona: What!? No! No, Blitzo is fine. He's always a mess, trust me.

Beelzebub: Look honey, I see people having fun and getting fucked up all the time. But, he's clearly getting wasted off his ass and causing problems on purpose. So, I feel like, you should check up on him at least.

Loona starts to get angry as the hounds she was talking to poke their heads over to eavesdrop.

Beelzebub: Just see if something's up.

Loona then marches over to Beelzebub and confronts her.

Loona: Don't act like you know him like I do.

Beelzebub: I ain't sayin' that. I'm just pretty sure he's had like four tongues inside him at once. I mean... good for him.

Vortex nods in agreement.

Beelzebub: But... I can taste the flavor of people at my parties, and he's giving off a very... not okay vibe, you know?

Loona gets progressively angrier.

Loona: Oh yeah, and I'd bet you'd know the okay vibe, right? I mean everyone likes you so much.

Beelzebub flies up near Loona's face to challenge her.

Beelzebub: What's that supposed to mean, you got a problem or somethin' sour cream? *shifts into her larger demonic form* Don't fuck with me!

Loona preps for a fight until she sees how it's upsetting Vortex.

Loona: *sighs* Sorry. Yeah, nope, I'll, uh... I'll check on him.

She walks off as Beelzebub shows what appears to be genuine concern, possibly for Loona before she shrinks back to her normal size.

A crash is heard in the lobby as Corsintheus and rayden fall through the ceiling window still beating each other.

They fall into a pool of beelzejuice as everyone gathers around

Corsintheus emerges gasping for air before rayden grips his head and forces it under the liquid drowning him slowly

A hellhound hits him with a bottle, staggering him, and losing his grip on Corsintheus who emerges and punches rayden in the face.

He delivers another one only for rayden to catch it in his mouth sinking his teeth deep into Corsintheus arm as he cries out in pain.

Corsintheus: GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!

Corsintheus pulls away tearing his hand off

Rayden charges at Corsintheus only for Corsintheus to activate the device on what's left of his wrist and open a portal back to heaven which he weakly flies through as it closes, stopping rayden in his tracks.

Rayden: *spits hand to the side* *pant* *pant* pussy

Rayden looks at the crowd watching him

Rayden: the fuck are you all looking at?

Beelzebub: a-hem

Rayden: mm?

Rayden turns to see beelzebub

Rayden: oh mastema must have field days with you

Beelzebub: you work for the nutjob? Oh ho ho you got balls leaving your ring pal i'll give you that.

Rayden: wasn't my choice i was having a welcoming depression stroll before the angel attacked

Beelzebub: That was an angel? Awfully aggressive for one

Rayden: look i'm sorry for interrupting your...party or whatever this is but can someone give me lift back to lust? I left a person there who's expecting me when she wakes up

Beelzebub: Well you're lucky I'm having a party high right now. None of the others would be as relaxed...well maybe bel would but she always is-

Rayden: yeah didn't ask for possible scenarios.

Beelzebub: fine. Party killer

Rayden: hmph

Bee opens a portal and rayden walks through and heads back to the room where carmilla is still sleeping

Rayden falls back on the bed exhausted

 

Meanwhile back in gluttony Loona looks around trying to find Blitzo.

Loona: Blitz! Bliitz! Where are you, shithead! BLIT-

She sees Blitzo French-kissing another imp.

Loona: Oh piss on a dick! *grabs Blitzo by the collar* What the fuck are you doing Blitz?!

Blitzo: This guy~ *points to the imp, who briefly waves*

Loona: It looks like you're in the middle of a goddamn orgy! Stop!

Blitzo: (slurred) Look, I didn't expect you to come in here and see any of this, Loonie. I'm so sorry, but it's a party, I'm just havin' fun with, uh... *turns to the imp* The fuck is your name again?

Imp: Dennis.

Blitzo: Christ on a stick, you would be a Dennis. *waves arms, shooing Dennis away* Get the fuck away from me! I'm not fucking a Dennis tonight! I need a Monica or Alejandro in here, stat!

The imp standing by a nearby corner pulls him in.

Blitzo: *sticks tongue out* Better~

Loona punches the imp's face in, causing him to back away, then Blitzo stumbles, and Loona catches him.

Loona: You don't need anyone else sucking your face, freaky weirdo. *carries Blitzo over her shoulder*You need to drink something other than Beelzejuice.

Blitzo: Uuuugh, no...

Loona carries Blitzo to the van, and buckles him up, then her three new friends wave her goodbye; Loona waves back, then she gets in the van and drives off.

Loona: Do you need to throw up?

Blitzo: (pouty) Mmm... no...

Loona: *scoffs* Yeah you do.

Back at the apartment, Loona turns on the lights and puts Blitzo back on the couch, then gets a glass of water and a blanket for him.

Blitzo: I had a really shitty day...

Loona: Oh yeah? Is that why you drank like five gallons worth of who-knows-what?

Blitzo: Fuck, Fizz was right. I'm gonna die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered, waste. Will you be there, Loonie?

Loona: Be...where?

Blitzo: I dunno, jus- *mumbles* ...lonely... Die alone...

Loona: I'll be there, Dad.

She drapes the blanket over Blitzo and pats his head.

Loona: Now go the fuck to sleep... okay? *turns off the lights*

Blitzo: *mumbling* Millie... Moxxie... Rayden... Stolas...

Loona takes one last look at Blitzo before heading into her room, then after a beat, Blitzo vomits up the Beelzejuice.

Blitzo: Fuck! Yeah, I did need to throw up.

 

 

Corsintheus stumbled to the shiny white floor clutching his bleeding stump

???:I equip you with the most lethal weapons I can create, I allow you reconnaissance on the target and you still somehow fail me.

Cornsintheus looks up to see a large figure wearing white biker attire along with two hooded figures looking down on him

Corsintheus: I-it wasn't my fault sir! We were given insufficient information on this sinner! I might as well have been a mouse sent to fight a wolf!

???: I don't care for excuses corsintheus my how you've fallen, from angel of the hunt to angel of prey. Pathetic

The figures start to walk away

Corsintheus: LORD ZARATHOS THE SINNER IS A NEPHILIM!!

Zarathos skull lights ablaze

Zarathos: nephilim!

Zarathos speeds at corsintheus grabbing his throat and lifting him into the air

Zarathos:that's impossible. Nephilim are forbidden

Corsintheus: *choking* I...swear...it...he can...breathe...hellfire

Zarathos releases corsintheus to ground who gasps for air

Zarathos: jay, stress toy!!

One of the hooded guards Jay hands him a stress toy which he starts squeezing rapidly as his flames dissipate

???: sir if I may what is a nephilim?

Zarathos: an abomination the disgusting offspring of a human and a demon.

Jay: and this is a threat? He's already dead

Zarathos: a nephilim cannot exist living or dead they're a threat on any plain *skull heats up again* The nobility agreed they'd never procreate with mortal souls! And to make it worse mastema has been sheltering one for years!!

???: Then why not unless the full guard? Although defeated even corsintheus managed to do some damage

Zarathos: no...

Zarathos walks over to corsintheus and grabs his bleeding stump with a burning hand cauterizing the wound as grunts in pain

Zarathos: heavens in turmoil as it is. Running this covertly is the only way to handle this.

Zarathos sits down in a throne

Zarathos: sinners like this cannot be allowed to exist especially nephilim. *eyes ignite in flame* Do NOT fail me again

Corsintheus: y-yes lord zarathos

 

 

Chapter 15: The Circus

The episode opens with an exterior shot of Paimon's mansion. Cut to Young Stolas asleep in his bed, surrounded by stuffed animals while hugging one resembling a demonic Max from Sam & Max. Stolas wakes up, yawns, and smacks his lips.

 

Stolas (Young): *eyes shoot open in realization and sits up* My birthday, my birthday! It's my birthday!

 

Stolas leaps out of the sheets and lands on all fours on the floor. He runs off to his dressing room, arms raised in excitement as an Imp butler walks into view to attend to him.

 

Stolas (Young): Yaaaay! Birthday, birthday! WOOHOO! Birthday tiiiiime!

 

Mister Butler opens a tin of hair gel and begins applying it to Stolas.

 

Mister Butler: Calm yourself, young prince. You know excitement is unbecoming of a Goetia.

 

Stolas (Young): Oh! *calms down* Right.

 

Stolas takes a deep breath to calm himself. As Mister Butler walks off to retrieve Stolas' vest and cape, returning to put them on him.

 

Stolas (Young): But, Father told me, today is the day, I am old enough to know my purpose and responsibility! *eyes sparkle with glee*

 

Mister Butler: Of course. *places a crown on Stolas' head* I'm sure it will be wonderful.

 

Stolas follows the butler out of the dressing room down a large hallway. The wall is lined with four giant pictures of Stolas at various prior ages. The first shows Stolas in his egg, sat upon a pillow and topped with a crown. The second shows him as a hatchling swaddled up in his crib, his swaddling cloth held together by a pin bearing the Goetia family insignia. He is accompanied by the demon Max plush seen earlier and a star shaped pillow. The third shows him as what can be assumed to be a toddler, smiling as he hugs the demon Max plush. The fourth and final shows him in his current on-screen appearance, hugging the demon Max plush as an unknown creature drips green slime on his head.

 

The scene cuts to Stolas and the butler standing in front of large double doors, which open to reveal a throne room. Paimon, Stolas' father and King of the Ars Goetia, is seen sitting on the throne in his monstrous black demon form. He stands up, his form shifting to display various demonic creatures as he transforms into his normal, bird-like self. The butler walks over to Paimon and stands next to him as Stolas approaches his father.]

 

Paimon: Ahhhh! There is my little, uh...

 

Stolas smiles gleefully up at his father.

 

Paimon: *whispers to butler while pointing at Stolas* Which son is this one? There's so fucking many.

 

Mister Butler: Stolas, your highness.

 

Paimon: Stolas! Yes! Ha! Right, right! *chuckles* That's the one! *begins walking toward Stolas* The owl boy.

 

Cuts to Paimon standing in front of little Stolas.

 

Paimon: *leans toward Stolas, surprising him* Well, my little one, *stands upright and walks behind Stolas* it is finally your day of becoming a true part of the Goetia family. How good for you. Are you ready to know what you'll be meant to do to serve Hell?

 

Stolas (Young): Yes, Father!

 

Paimon opens some kind of portal to the cosmos as he speaks, showing Stolas the stars he is meant to study. Two comets, blue and pink, respectively, fly out of the portal and up out of view.

 

Paimon: You will be entrusted with the study of the Earth's skies, the stars, the prophecies they hold, all that stuff. *closes the portal and summons a grimoire* Isn't that fun? You will begin the studies of your grimoire, which will grant you access to the mortal realm to study and observe, *levitates the Grimoire to Stolas who is bouncing with excitement* and you will grow to be a mighty Prince of Hell, with your own legions to lead and pass on your knowledge to!

 

Stolas (Young): *happily confident* I will do my best, Father!

 

Paimon: *leans toward Stolas* Wonderful! *speaks fast* Also, son, you are destined to sire *pulls a picture of a young Stella from his cloak* a precautionary addition to the Goetia family. So, you are now engaged. *shows Stolas the picture* Congratulations. Isn't she charming? It'd be better if her brother wasn't a nuisance but we'll take what we can get

 

Cuts to a close-up of Paimon's picture. It shows a young Stella angrily strangling a Quieve with a bow in a strand of its hair and tears falling from its eye. A second Quieve just like it wearing a collar with the same bow lies on the ground, tears flowing as Stella has one foot planted on its head, likely having already been assaulted by her. Stella herself looks similar to her adult appearance, but of course much younger and has her hair tied up in pigtails.

 

Stolas begins crying and turns away from the picture in fear.

 

Paimon: Ohhh! That's an ugly noise, son. Here, *pats Stolas on the head* how about you cease this bitch crying?

 

Stolas starts crying harder.

 

Paimon: Hm, that usually works. Oh, would you like it if I took you to the circus in town? Children enjoy the circus, right? *pats Stolas on he head again* Would that distract you enough from your non-negotiable future marriage?

 

Stolas does not respond. A tear rolls down his cheek and drips off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The scene changes to another bedroom covered in blue, green and yellow. A very large bed is in the middle with a snore emitting from it.

 

A young Stella enters approaching the bed

 

Stella (young): *shaking the bed a bit* wake up...

 

The snoring persists 

 

Stella climbs onto the bed and onto a lump covered in blankets

 

Stella (young): wake up!! *she jumps on the lump*

 

Aamon (young): *SQUAWK*

 

A much younger aamon shoots up in pain clutching his stomach as stella lightly leaps back a bit

 

Aamon (young): *pained* stella...why? 

 

Stella (young): you look funny when you wake up like that! Don't you want to entertain your favourite sister?

 

Aamon (young): i'm trying my best not to throttle my favourite sister

 

Stella (young): you're not denying the favourite part

 

Aamon (young): heh i'm not am i? *rustles her head feathers*

 

Aamon gets out of bed and puts on a robe as he walks with stella into the kitchen where their parents and a younger Andrealphus are sitting

 

Andrealphus (young): hm slept in once more brother? Is it natural for the heir of the family to be so lazy? *smirks*

 

Aamon (young): i don't know brother is it natural for the second born to be such a natural pompous little shi-

 

Aamon mother: language aamon! Your sister is in the room!

 

Aamon (young): oh she says things that are worse!

 

Aamon scoffed as he sideyed his brother who maintained his grin as he ate his breakfast

 

Aamon sat down across from him while stella sat next to Aamon

 

Aamon father: children it seems fortune smiles on our family! Paimon has selected our dear stella to be wed to his son!

 

Aamon and Andrealphus nearly choke on their food as they hear news

 

Aamon (young): paimon asked for stella?!

 

Stella (young): really?!!

 

Aamon father: indeed my daughter. We had hoped to marry off your brother first but we'll take what can get *conjures picture of stolas* what do you think?

 

The siblings all look at the photo and all 3 look visibly confused

 

Aamon (young): uhh this is his heir?

 

Andrealphus (young): he looks...what's the word? 

 

Stella (young): pathetic?

 

Andrealphus (young): no 

 

Aamon (young): pushover?

 

Andrealphus (young): that's it

 

Aamon (young) thoughts: stellas gonna eat this poor kid alive! He looks like he's never left his sheltered home!

 

Aamon father: yes i know he looks incompetent. Which is why aamon, you will be accompanying him to the local circus.

 

Aamon (young): why me!?

 

Aamon mother: you're the heir of our family as such it's among your duties to survey other families for potential manipulation tactics, weak points, exploitable finances and status or whatever gives our family an edge!

 

Aamon groans as he stretches his face

 

Aamon didn't enjoy the fact he was his family's reconnaissance unit. He'd analyzed several other lower class goetia that his family eventually crushed. 

 

But he had no choice; this was his life after all.

 

Aamon (young): very well *stands up* i'll prepare

 

Aamon father: good boy

 

Andrealphus (young): enjoy being the prince's babysitter!

 

Aamon uses his magic to turn the fruit Andrealphus is eating into gold as he takes a bite

 

Andrealphus (young): *bites down* OW!! You jerk, I could've chipped my beak!!

 

Aamon (young): darn and i thought i'd get lucky

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The scene changes to inside a limo where stolas sits across from aamon who just stares at him bored

 

Stolas (young): so...um what kind of goetic demon are you?

 

Aamon (young): peacock

 

Stolas (young): oh! I read peacocks can spread their tail feathers can you-?

 

Aamon (young):  yes

 

Stolas (young): ah right of course...um i saw your sister in a photo she...looks nice.

 

Aamon (young):  well she's not it'll be a miracle if you survive to 100 without her killing you

 

Stolas shudders at that

 

Aamon (young): not sure why you'd agree to the engagement.

 

Stolas (young): i...didn't have a choice really

 

Aamon (young):  oh...

 

Aamon (young thoughts): shit now i feel bad

 

Aamon knew better than most how it felt to be confined by Goetic traditions. It was suffocating

 

He tried to think of something to cheer the owl prince up

 

Aamon (young): hm...wanna see something cool?

 

Stolas gently nodded

 

Aamon took out a small flower from his pocket and held it in front of stolas as he turned it into solid gold

 

Stolas' eyes widen with amazement

 

Stolas (young): That's so cool! Is this some form of petrification?

 

Aamon (young): a version of it. Mine happens usually through incantation or by physical contact unlike others

 

Stolas (young): and the gold?

 

Aamon (young): personal preference

 

Stolas (young): Do you think I could ever do that?

 

Aamon (young): hm perhaps. Every goetia has a certain gimmick to their magic so who knows

 

 The two talked until they arrived at the circus

 

 

 

 

Cut to Stolas, Aamon and Mister Butler standing at the top of the stairs into a circus tent. Paimon is not physically present, but instead is shown on the glass of a mirror the butler is holding up. Various Imps are seen filling the bleachers. Circus music plays in the background.

 

Paimon: *looks around, then whispers to butler* Is there a spot that's close to the front, but also far enough that I don't have to-- *sniffs and gags* Ugh-- smell the poor?

 

Aamon (young): you can smell through that thing? I'm getting nothing here

 

Paimon: It happens to those of us with maturity boy take note.

 

Aamon scoffed

 

Quick pan to Stolas, Aamon the butler, and Paimon in the mirror in an otherwise empty bleacher labeled with a crude cloth sign reading "GOETIA" in dripping black paint.

 

Cuts to a dark arena as spotlights instantly light up, revealing various circus Imps as they begin performing. Two Imps in clown attire juggle, two more in the background perform spinning front flips into the foreground, and a female Imp does a handstand on a demonic horse as it gallops by the Goetia section of the bleachers.

 

Paimon chuckles and claps from within the mirror.

 

Scene pans via the stilt-supported legs of an Imp to two clown Imps juggling while on stilts. A female Imp is seen walking and twirling on a tightrope in the background, holding a yellow umbrella as she does.

 

Cuts back to the Goetia section, Paimon still chuckling and clapping within the mirror. Aamon looked unimpressed and bored while Little Stolas, very clearly Not Having A Good Time Of It, halfheartedly flicks away a peanut that lands on his Grimoire.

 

Cuts to an Imp breathing fire. The camera pans out and down to reveal the fire-breathing Imp atop an inverted Imp pyramid supported by a wooden stand. Two more Imps in the background leap through hoops held by two Imps in the inverted pyramid, land on their hands, then jump to their feet as the crowd cheers.

 

A throwing knife flies in from the left and forcefully pans the camera to the right. The knife sticks itself into a wooden board, right next to the hip of a female Imp shown to be tied to said board. The camera pans out to show the knife throwing Imp as the crowd cheers. The Goetia section of the bleachers can be seen in the background.

 

Cuts back to Stolas, now dejectedly slamming his forehead into his grimoire which Aamon noticed

 

Aamon (young): if you're attempting suicide there are faster ways

 

Stolas (young): that's not...nevermind

 

the ring leader of the circus begins speaking.

 

Cash Buckzo: Now, everyone's favorite thing about circus shit: the motherfuckin' clowns!

 

A multitude of frightening Imp clowns with glowing eyes leap out at the audience from behind curtains in the background. Cash Buckzo laughs as they fly outward. The Imps in the audience scream and pull away in terror.

 

Cuts to a small foot stepping on a pedestal board accompanied by the sound of a bell jingling.

 

Fizzarolli (Young): (off-screen) You ready, Blitzo?

 

[Cuts to a child Blitzo giving a rope a quick tug.]

 

Blitzo (Young): Born ready!

 

Fizzarolli and Blitzo leap off of their boards and begin a flying trapeze act. They pass by the Goetia section of the bleachers, and time appears to slow down as Stolas looks up in awe and then blushes which aamon caught notice of

 

Aamon (young): *looking between stolas and blitzo* oh you're kidding me. seriously?

 

Cuts to Blitzo landing on a ball as Fizzarolli swings away. 

 

Blitzo (Young): Haaaaa! Tada~! *laughs* Heya, folks! Wanna see me make a horse?

 

Blitzo takes out a green balloon, blows it up, and attempts to tie it into a horse shape. It appears as an incomprehensible knot, then immediately pops.

 

Blitzo (Young): *eyes widen in surprise* Crap.

 

Blitzo continues pulling out balloons and attempting to make a horse but keeps getting the same result. His expression grows more worried with each popped balloon. At one point, the balloon somehow appears as a normal oval-shaped balloon. Blitzo is surprised, but the balloon pops nonetheless.

 

Cuts to the audience, dead silent and unimpressed as Blitzo keeps trying--and failing--to make a balloon horse off-screen.

 

Blitzo (Young): De-de-de-de-do-do-do-do- Ah, heheh, (nervously) Horse! 

 

He's finally made a horse except it has no legs.

 

Aamon (young): oh this is just sad

 

Blitzo (Young): Well, heh. It was a horse, but then it ate too much sugar and its legs stopped working, so he had to amputate. Now, it's a gross worm horse.

 

Stolas begins to laugh softly, clearly charmed?

 

Aamon (young): please don't encourage that

 

Blitzo (Young): *points at young Stolas* See? He gets it. Because, horses - they make no sense.

 

The camera zooms over to show that Young Fizzarolli has joined Young Blitzo with a balloon of his own in his hand. His balloon is red.

 

Fizzarolli (Young): Okay, Blitzo, that's enough horsing around!

 

He makes a balloon horse perfectly on his first try.

 

Fizzarolli (Young): Hey, everybody! Look at this [presents the horse to the crowd] it's Banana Pudding the clown horsey! 

 

He makes neighing noises, the crowd laughs while Young Blitzo looks down sadly.

 

Aamon (young): ugh one was sad and the other was just too ordinary. GET FRESH MATERIAL LEECHES!

 

Stolas (Young): I liked his broken horse joke, it was funny. Their legs do stop working when they eat too much sugar, it's called laminitis. 

 

Aamon (young): i doubt anyone else knows that but whatever floats your boat stolas

 

Paimon looks down at Stolas curiously as the little owl demon makes a hooting laugh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The scene changes to Cash drinking backstage as the butler walks in holding the mirror that has the connection to Paimon.

 

Paimon: What a show! That was real great. So, ahem that little clown you have, my son really enjoyed that one. I was wondering if I could buy him.

 

Cash: Buy him?

 

Paimon: Purchase him, yes. Accurate.

 

Paimon claps his hands and the servant pushes a button on the mirror. The mirror extends out creating the effect like he's leaning over Cash.

 

Paimon: My son doesn't have many friends, you see, the one he's got currently is too mouthy and he liked the little clown boy. It's his birthday, he's so sad and I don't want to deal with him. Can I write a check?

 

Cash: Well, *rubs chin, smirking* Fizzarolli is a big draw. He has a few more shows to be in today, so it would be pretty expensive. *rubs his thumb and finger together in gesture*

 

Paimon: *chuckling* No, no. The other one.

 

Cash: *shocked* Blitzo?!

 

Paimon: Correct. How much?

 

Cash: Wha- Well, he's my son. So... uh. Hm... ah, how much ya got in your pocket?

 

The butler digs around in his pocket and produces a crumpled-up $5 bill and an unopened condom.

 

Paimon: A wadded-up five and a slim-fit condom.

 

Cash: Ah, that's plenty. Done.

 

Paimon: Splendid! Fetch him for me and we will be on our way.  

 

he claps his hands and portals out destroying half the tent in the process.

 

The scene changes to Fizzarolli and Blitzo playing with their balloon horses together.

 

Fizzarolli (Young): I'm Banana Pudding, and I like to dance!

 

Blitzo (Young): I am Worm Horse. And I...I am sad!

 

Fizzarolli (Young): Why are you sad, Worm Horse?

 

Blitzo (Young): Because! I have no legs!

 

Fizzarolli (Young): Oh, well that's okay!

 

Blitzo (Young): I lost all my legs in the war.

 

Fizzarolli (Young): *gasps* The war?!

 

Blitzo (Young): Yes! The great pirate war!

 

Fizzarolli (Young): *deadpan* No, no pirates.

 

Blitzo (Young): It's a great pirate warrr!

 

Fizzarolli (Young): *exasperated* If you keep talking about pirates, I will punch you.

 

Blitzo (Young): I fought bravely, but I could not run fast enough. They took my legs, there was blood everywhere!

 

Fizzarolli (Young): *laughing* Oh, no! Eww, no blood! Blood is disgusting.

 

Blitzo (Young): No, it's cool! *chuckles*

 

Fizzarolli (Young): Well, Banana Pudding is here to save the day with his magical feet he dances around with. He will dance all over worm horse and make him feel better,

 

Blitzo (Young): And theeen *dramatic pause* there'll be more bloood! *squirts ketchup onto his balloon horse*

 

Fizzarolli (Young): Blitzo! That's so gross! *laughing* stop.

 

Blitzo (Young): Neverrr!

 

Cash appears behind them, grabs Blitzo by the arm and pulls him up.

 

Cash: Boy, I've got a job for you! You are gonna spend the day with one of the Goetia princes.

 

Blitzo (Young): Ew. Why?

 

Cash: Because money! Now, listen carefully. You are being bought out to be his playmate, but I want you to steal as much from those rich fuckers as you possibly can.

 

Blitzo (Young): *scared* Steal? But, what if I get caught?

 

Cash: Don't you want your family to be able to buy a bigger tent? better food? don't you want to be able to help me and your mama out?

 

Blitzo (Young): Of course I wanna help mama!

 

Cash: Then, you gotta do this. Everything those rich fucks have will be worth a fortune. *hic*

 

Blitzo (Young): But, if I'm caught - I'm scared, dad.

 

Cash: There are scarier things, aren't there, son?

 

Blitzo (Young): But - 

 

Cash makes sad eyes at Young Blitzo.

 

Blitzo (Young): *defeatedly* Yes, papa.

 

The scene changes to Paimon, his butler, and a young Stolas in front of their house while Blitzo and his father walk up to them.

 

Paimon: Here is your new friend my son, happy birthday.

 

Stolas (Young): *excitedly* A friend?

 

Blitzo (Young): I guess? Hi, uh, I'm Blitzo.

 

Stolas (Young): I'm Stolas. *bows* It's nice to-- 

 

[He gets smacked in the back of the head by his father.]

 

Stolas (Young): Ouch!

 

Paimon: Don't bow to that one! He bows to us. Idiot.

 

Stolas (Young): Oh, right. Sorry, father.

 

Paimon: *to himself* I'm so good at daddy-ing! 

 

 

 

 

The scene changes to Aamons home as he enters only to be greeted by his parents

 

Aamons mother: well? Learn anything exploitable?

 

Aamon (young): um...

 

Aamon thought about the blush stolas made at the imp. A potential scandal like that would definitely give whoever knew about it leverage untold. 

 

Not to mention stolas seemed easy to fool if anything he could be used as a puppet very easily.

 

It'd propel Aamons family to higher status

 

Aamon (young): ...no i wasn't there long enough before paimon sent me off. apologies 

 

Aamons parents looked disappointed by the answer but brushed it off

 

Aamons father: oh well it is the prince it figures he'd be a challenge to pick apart. We know you tried your best son

 

Aamons mother: you'll have other opportunities

 

Aamon (young):  couldn't Stella try something? She's supposed to be his wife after all

 

Aamons father: your sisters an empty headed fool who's only value is her beauty. You're far superior to her you are our greatest piece in this game son.

 

His parents knelt down putting their hands on his shoulders

 

Aamons mother: you're our golden heir. You will bring our family to the highest of stations. When you speak the rings will bow their heads. It is your duty after all.

 

Aamon (young): right...my duty

 

Nothing else should've mattered to Aamon but that

 

 

 

 

The scene changes to Young Blitzo and Stolas inside a library sitting on the floor surrounded by books. Blitzo is bored while Stolas is excitedly info-dumping about the books in question.

 

Blitzo (Young): *groans*

 

Stolas (Young): This is my book on the difference between frogs and toads, there's a lot of differences! And this is my book on plants and herbs! Did you know plants can hear you?

 

Blitzo (Young): Plants are boring! This is all boring stuff!

 

Stolas (Young): Oh, I'm sorry. *dejectedly* I've never had a friend to share my books with.

 

Blitzo (Young): You know what would be fun? A game. Let's Play 'Treasure Hunt'.

 

Stolas (Young): What's that?

 

Blitzo (Young): It's where we pretend we are pirates and we go around the house collecting all the nicest things and then we throw them out the window!

 

Stolas (Young): *incredulous* We...throw them out the window?

 

Blitzo (Young): Yes.

 

Stolas (Young): Since when did pirates throw things out windows?

 

Blitzo (Young): Since like, the dawn of time. Come on, pirates are always throwing stuff out windows.

 

Stolas (Young): I don't think they had windows.

 

Blitzo (Young): What, did a book say that?

 

Stolas (Young): Yes, actually! 

 

He pulls out two books titled "Pirates" and "The Porthole Myth".

 

Stolas (Young): Several.

 

Blitzo (Young): Well, in this game-

 

He grabs the books and chucks them off-screen.

 

Blitzo (Young): We're throwing them out the window. Because, it's fun!

 

Stolas (Young): Well, that's an odd game. *gasps* Is this an Imp game?

 

Blitzo (Young): Suuure. Why not?

 

Stolas (Young): Well, if it's what you want to play?

 

Blitzo (Young): Let's do it!

 

[The scene switches to the two of them giggling and filling up bags with things from around the house while a xylophone cover of Blitzo's theme plays in the background.]

 

Blitzo (Young): *sprinting ahead* C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

 

Stolas runs behind him panting a little with the exertion. They continue going through different areas taking things and giggling. They stop at a chandelier and look at it in wonder. Blitzo takes a piece of it.

 

Blitzo (Young): Yes!

 

Stolas (Young): Yay!

 

The camera circles around the two. They fall to the floor and lay on their backs giggling.

 

The scene changes and they run by a balcony giggling. There is a whistling noise. Blitzo runs up to the edge of the balcony with his bag of treasures. His father pops out of a bush down below and makes a 'throw to me' gesture. Blitzo looks behind him to Stolas, who is bouncing on a stool trying to reach something and doesn't see anything. Blitzo grunts with effort and throws the bag of treasure down to his father, who then ducks back into the bush.

 

Stolas (Young): Blitzo, over here!

 

Blitzo runs over to join him. The scene changes to the two of them outside by a tree. Stolas is sitting on the roots and Blitzo is climbing it. Blitzo falls out of the tree hanging by only his tail.

 

Blitzo (Young): So, what is that? Your diary?

 

Stolas (Young): No, this is my new grimoire! It's a spell book! I have to learn it so I can access the living world!

 

Blitzo (Young): The living world? Like the world with humans and stuff? Where the sinners come from?

 

Stolas (Young): Mmhmm.

 

Blitzo (Young): That's cool!

 

Stolas (Young): Yes! I'm supposed to use it to study the sky!

 

Blitzo (Young): Why?

 

Stolas (Young): My dad says I can find prophecies, but I don't really know. But, I'm supposed to, that's what my job will be when I grow up. To join the rest of the Goetia family.

 

Blitzo (Young): Well, you know what's I'm gonna do when I grow up? *jumps back on the tree* I'm gonna run my own circus and I'm gonna be the most famous imp ever and I'll be able to do what I want to do, all day! I'm gonna make so much money and buy myself a big building, with a big office!

 

Stolas (Young): A big office? For a circus?

 

Blitzo (Young): Yeah! A big office! Circus business with clowns and horses! and the horses will all have good names like Stapler and Biscuit Queen.

 

Stolas (Young): *giggles* I'm sure you will. That sounds like a good business.

 

Blitzo (Young): Yeah! And, if you want to apply, I'll hire you. Maybe.

 

Stolas (Young): *chuckles* You'll hire me?

 

Blitzo (Young): Yeah, if I feel like it.

 

Stolas (Young): Well, I hope I qualify! *giggles* You'd be a good boss.

 

Blitzo (Young): You say that with sarcasm, but I totes would.

 

 

 

 

The two laugh together and the camera pans out. A thudding sound effect and a title card that says "25 YEARS LATER" drops on the screen. Adult Stolas wakes up looking dejected. He groans and gets dressed in his robe, goes to his boudoir, and takes a bottle of pills. He goes to his library and opens up his grimoire, in the window behind him Blitzo appears and sees the magic floating out of the book. He tries to pull open the window to get inside. Stolas closes the book and walks away. He did not see Blitzo. Blitzo falls off the window.

 

Stella: *muffled, off-screen* Yes, together we're- *muffled*

 

Stolas checks on a sleeping Octavia and then wanders into his kitchen where Stella is loudly having a phone call.

 

Stella: I know still being married isn't a big enough occasion brother. But, to be fair, you know it's no picnic being married to a boring stiff like Stolas...oh yes suppose the child does ease it but whatever

 

Stolas looks as though he wants to speak to her, but she holds up an index finger at him and he instead walks away to his kitchen table to drink his morning drink. He uses magic to open up and hold the newspaper up in front of him. It reads "Not Divorced: Anniversary Party! Couples only."

 

Stolas: Stella, what in Hell is this?

 

Stella: Ugh, Stolas. You know I like throwing parties. Plus, it's true, so you know you can come if you want. My brother is attending so try not to embarrass me *flips her hair feathers and walks away with the butler*

 

Stolas takes a drink of his morning beverage 

 

 

 

 

The scene cuts to outside where mastema and rayden are walking up the stairs

 

Rayden: sir this is degrading i don't do parties plus didn't the invite say couples only?

 

Mastema: of course! Couple of lovers, couple of pets, couple of friends! So it works!

 

Rayden: ugh why couldn't you bring jack?

 

Mastema: you wanna trust him around a bunch of sexy birds? They'd drool all over him

 

Rayden hated when mastema was right

 

Mastema: plus now that i'm an "honorary sin" i wanna piss some prejudice nobles off

 

They both enter the mansion

 

 

 

 

The image cuts to stolas drinking out of a goblet at a fancy party. We see the guests standing and dancing. Stella is with her two bird friends from the pilot.

 

Stella: *laughs loudly* No! Stolas is terrible in bed! I swear to fuck, he just lays there staring at the wall, and I have to do everything! It's embarrassing! *sighs* I'm glad one egg fell out of me, so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass. 

 

She makes a loud drink sip sound and then even louder laugh as she tosses one of her two glasses behind her and the glass shatters. Her friends laugh with her.

 

The camera pans to Stolas standing not too far away from the group, clearly hearing everything that's being said about him to his immense displeasure. 

 

Aamon: still a fairytale marriage i see

 

Stolas turns to see aamon now wearing metal gloves and his  gold prosthetic beak and smoking through his pipe

 

Stolas: *sarcastically* oh yes sunshine and rainbows

 

Stella and her entourage walk away laughing.

 

Stella: *turns to look directly at Stolas* What a pathe- *notices aamon who looks at her with a raised eyebrow* uh-heh nevermind

 

Stolas: how you control her i'll never figure out

 

Aamon: it's a gift...you know you don't have to just stand here seething

 

Stolas: can't do much other than that

 

Aamon: *breathes green smoke* stolas it's a party no one cares if you drink till your in a sloth level coma or...cut loose *breathes blue smoke*

 

Stolas: you're encouraging me to cheat on your own sister? You're smoking too many chemicals

 

Aamon: i'm right though *leans on stolas' shoulder*...come onnnn find a random goetia fuck their brains out and you'll feel betterrrrr 

 

Stolas: oh vassago is that you?

 

Aamon: *snaps up straight* WHERE!? 

 

Stolas giggles as aamon realizes he's been tricked

 

Aamon: oh now that's just cruel 

 

Stolas: well i can just stand here seething can i?

 

Aamon: not what i meant...but seriously think about it

 

Aamon walks off into the crowd

 

Mastema: ROYALTY WALKS AMONG YOU BIRDS

 

Everyone turns to see mastema walking through the crowd with rayden as the nobles glare at him.

 

Stolas: ah mastema thank you for coming! I wasn't sure you could make it

 

Mastema: well i don't get invited anywhere royal often and i've got some new privileges i wanted to flex~

 

Goetia nobles: *hiss*

 

Mastema is constantly flipping them off with both hands

 

Stolas: so i see.

 

Mastema: oh by the way this is my associate rayden blackveil rayden this is stolas 

 

Rayden: yeah nice to meet you wheres the drinks

 

Stolas: oh... um back table

 

Rayden nods and walks off pushing through crowds

 

Stolas: well he's...friendly

 

Mastema: he's not. He actually has a few goetic kills under his belt

 

Stolas: *sweating* ah...

 

Mastema: don't worry he hasn't done that in years...i think...so not divorced congrats

 

Stolas: trying to change the subject after that information is not going to be as easy as you believe

 

Mastema: ah heh

 

Someone offscreen: Stolas, sir?

 

Two Hellhound guards holding Blitzo up between them one looks more wolf like and the other looks like a dachshund.

 

Right Hellhound: We caught this nasty imp trying to sneak into your chambers, what should we do with him?

 

Mastema: huh...i'm actually impressed

 

Stolas: Into my chambers, really? Oh, well. That is, concerning. *clears his throat* Leave him to me, I will handle him accordingly. *blushes*

 

The two Hellhounds unceremoniously drop Blitzo.

 

Mastema: uhh stolas you ok? You look...hormonal

 

Stolas: i'm fine you enjoy the party

 

Mastema: mm alright

 

Mastema walks off

 

Stolas: Follow me, Imp.

 

Stolas walks past and Blitzo follows glaring around the room.

 

 

 

 

Rayden is seen at a snack table munching on cupcakes that felt like concrete not that he noticed.

 

He was also eating kebab mice with a blank stare

 

Aamon: sinners actually like this shit?

 

Rayden: *sideyes aamon* like has nothing to do with it. I saw food, i die without food i am eating the food. What's it to you vulture?

 

Aamon: heh i'm not a vulture-

 

Rayden: couldn't care less you're a vulture to me

 

Aamon: oooh ha you're ballsy i'll give you that most sinners who diss me go dead quiet pretty fast

 

Rayden: and most goetia who don't leave me the fuck alone end up as stuffing for pillows

 

Aamon:..... heh heh...you're mastemas hired gun...i'll keep that in mind

 

Aamon walks off grinning and blowing green smoke

 

Rayden: weirdo 

 

 

 

 

Stolas and blitzo pass by a hallway and Blitzo looks at the three big portraits on the wall. The first one was a teen Stolas holding the mirror the has his father on it. The second one is possible Stolas and Stella's wedding day and they both look unhappy and serious. Stolas is also holding his grimoire in the picture. The third picture is Stolas happily smiling and holding a young smiling Octavia in his arms while they are in space and he's using his powers to play together.]

 

Blitzo: Look, I didn't mean to interrupt your whatever party. I was just trying to- 

 

Stolas: Don't bother with excuses, I know why you were here.

 

Blitzo: *cringes* You do?

 

Stolas leads Blitzo into a dark private room and closes the door behind them.

 

Stolas: Yes, you are here *poses against the closed door* to ravish me, weren't you?

 

Blitzo: Uhhhhhh, you?

 

Stolas: Why else would you be breaking into my room? You could've asked to visit you know, it's been a long time, but I have a very good memory. 

 

He claps his hands and the room's candles light up.

 

Blitzo: Oh, yeah.

 

He sees Stolas' grimoire on the top-most shelf and you can see the journey on his face as he decides to play into Stolas' fantasies to get closer to the book.

 

Blitzo: Well, you know, I figured since you're a prince and all it might just be easier to scale the walls and slip on in.

 

He wiggles his eyebrows at Stolas, flirtatiously.

 

Blitzo: *annoyed* Certainly is easier than going through your fucking staff...

 

Stolas: One would think you might be here for nefarious reasons, if you are sneaking in during the cover of night.

 

Blitzo: Well, I wanted to crash the party, and it's always more fun you know to make an entrance.

 

Stolas: I recall how you enjoy making an entrance! 

 

They walk to his couch and sit down together.

 

Stolas: So, over two decades since I last saw you. Are you still a circus clown?

 

Blitzo: Oh. *laughs* No, not anymore. No, I kill people now.

 

Stolas: Oh. *laughs nervously and pulls away a little* How afraid should I be?

 

Blitzo looks at the Grimoire and then back to Stolas.

 

Blitzo: Well, I mean-

 

His voice changes from flat to more seductive and he intertwines their fingers.

 

Blitzo: How afraid do you want to be?

 

Stolas gets a little flustered, confused maybe like he'd meant this as a joke that Blitzo was unexpectedly taking seriously.

 

Stolas: Oh! Um, well. I, uh... You know, I was teasing. I don't really-

 

Blitzo: Yeah, you seem pretty tense. *crawls towards Stolas* How about I... help you out there?

 

Stolas: Umm...

 

Stolas nervously runs away the couch and Blitzo falls onto the floor.

 

Stolas: You know. This is, um, getting a wee bit... Is it hot? I'm starting to feel it getting very hot...

 

Blitzo slams him against the bookshelf, causing it to shake.

 

Stolas: Oh! What are you doing? 

 

The grimoire wiggles and falls to the floor.

 

Stolas: I barely remember your name!

 

Blitzo watches the grimoire fall to the floor, he utilizes the ladder to pull Stolas into a dip, clearly trying to get closer to the book.

 

Blitzo: It's Blitzo. 

 

His tail begins pulling the book closer to himself.

 

Stolas: *nervously* Didn't it have an "o" at the end, like a clown name? I remember - oh! 

 

They trip and Stolas Stumbles back hitting his bed. The grimoire slides by it. Blitzo pins Stolas onto the bed.

 

Blitzo: *sighs* Yeah, well. It's silent now, 'kay? So, call me... Blitzo.

 

Stolas squirms backwards further up the bed pursued by Blitzo.

 

Stolas: Okay, Blitzo, what are you doing to me? 

 

Blitzo: What do you want me to do to you?

 

Stolas: I, uh. Well- 

 

Blitzo realizes that Stolas will be able to see that his Grimoire is missing and bites down on Stolas' neck as a distraction. Stolas lets out a moan of pleasure.

 

Stolas: Oh my fuck! Oh, wow!

 

[He lets out another moan and falls backwards into his bed.]

 

Stolas: You are so forward, Blitzo! Oh! What are we doing?

 

He sits up as Blitzo is on the other side of the bed trying to pick up the grimoire. Blitzo jumps and pins him back down.

 

Blitzo: N-no! Stay down, dammit.

 

Stolas: Oh?! So, you like to command? You like to be in charge, hm?

 

Blitzo: Yeah, I sure do-

 

He reaches for the grimoire as Stolas turns on to his stomach and bounces Blitzo on his ass pulling him away from the grimoire.

 

Stolas: Oh, so you're a kinky little imp, aren't you? Do you like it when I talk to you dirty? I want you to [CENSORED] me with your [CENSORED] imp [CENSORED] get it all the way [CENSORED] get it all the way through me, you [CENSORED]!

 

Blitzo turns Stolas's head around 180 and covers his mouth with his hand.

 

Blitzo: *unamused* Ew. Stop it.

 

Stolas: *flirtatiously* Yes, if that's what Blitzy wants. 

 

Blitzo then grabs the curtain from the bed poster and rips it making strips to tie around Stolas' eyes so he cannot see.

 

Stolas: (blindfolded) Blitzy, Oh, my! Yeees!

 

[Blitzo ties the prince's hands and feet to the bed, as well.]

 

Stolas:  Oh, I've never had anyone want me this way! 

 

Blitzo proceeds to grab the grimoire and starts heading towards the balcony.

 

Stolas: (blindfolded) You have no idea how long I've craved this kind of passion, and how much it means that the one who wants me is ... my first ever friend! 

 

Blitzo stops looks back between Stolas and then back at the grimoire.

 

Blitzo: *sighs, to himself* Alright, fine. *inhales* I can do this real fast.

 

A jump cut to a title card that says THE MORNING AFTER "REAL FAST".

 

We hear a thud and see Stolas startle awake in bed, from off-screen we hear Blitzo. It's the scene from the pilot, but from Stolas' point of view.

 

Blitzo: Sorry, I fucked your husband.

 

Blitzo scrambles off the table and leaves.

 

Aamon: ah heh...pfffft AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT! PASSED STELLA OVER FOR AN IMP!! FUCKING NICE STOLAS!!

 

Stella looks up at the balcony where Stolas is, and smashes her teacup onto the floor.

 

Stella: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, STOLAS?!!

 

Stolas: *yelling down from balcony* THAT was the sound of a FUCKING DIVORCE!!

 

He tears a celebratory "Still Not Divorced!" banner to just say "Divorced" and laughs triumphantly.

 

Jump cut to a title card: NOW....

 

 

 

 

Stolas blinks awake, groaning in pain. He's lying next to a bottle of absinthe. He's still wearing his outfit from Ozzie's, though now his mascara is running down his cheeks. He goes and takes his pills which are labeled "Stolas' Happy Pills". He turns on his phone and scrolls through his photos which is a series of pictures of Blitzo or things related to Blitzo. Stolas begins to sing.

 

https://youtu.be/SaiUqekVrB4?feature=shared

 

The noise of footsteps; Stella walks up behind him being dramatic on the balcony.

 

Stella: The fuck are you doing?

 

Stolas flinches slightly while Stella yells

 

Stolas: *without looking back* Reflecting.

 

Stella: Well, stop. It's annoying to hear you screeching your silly woes all the time.

 

Stolas: Why are you still here? You leave with Via on weekends, but then you stay around the house despite everything.

 

Stella: I like tormenting you. I want to keep reminding you of what you did.

 

Stolas: I know what I did. I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that. You and I were arranged for one reason; to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more. I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us; to have this family, but it was never enough. The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life. ...I cannot do this anymore. I want you out. Now.

 

Stella: What do you mean, out?

 

Stolas: I mean out! Out of this palace, out of my life! We are getting The Divorce!

 

Stella: How dare you?!

 

She steps forwards as Stolas shrinks backwards looking slightly frightened of her.

 

Stella: What do you think the rest of the Goetia family will think? 

 

Her hand moves towards Stolas to backhand his face.

 

Stella: Andrealphus-!

 

Aamon: (offscreen)  STELLA!

 

Stella freezes and looks to see her brother behind her

 

Stella: brother i-!

 

Aamon: i'm gonna pretend I wasn't just about to see you strike stolas. 

 

Stella: but- but you heard what he said to me!!

 

Aamon: yes i did but he's still a goetia prince and you need to respect his wishes-

 

Stella: no i'm not leaving until this prick-!!

 

Aamon: stella *eyes glow green with green steam emitting from is nostrils* i will not repeat myself

 

Stella looks almost hurt by her brothers response

 

Aamon: just...*sigh* we'll talk about this later but please..

 

Stella: Fine. I have no desire to stay in the place of a traitorous embarrassment. You have fallen from what little grace you had, and I know you'll pay for it.

 

Stella walks away leaving aamon and stolas

 

Aamon: i'm sorry about the club oz was out of line...i called some favours so what was said won't be spread from lust

 

Stolas: yes...thank you...i'm sorry i'd like to be alone please

 

Aamon: of course

 

Aamon leaves stolas as he stares up at the starry sky.

Chapter 16: Rayden's Lesson 6 Rules And Consequences

Clara and odette are seen picking a lock to a room

Odette: this is ridiculous...why am I even helping you?!

Clara: because I know you wanna see if rayden wrote down how his date went with mom went in that journal he mentioned just as much as I did!

Odette: I know I don't wanna see how pissed he'll be when he finds out!!

Rayden had mentioned on a few occasions he kept a journal on which he recorded his experiences and any new weapons or techniques he gained

In summary it was a diary but rayden called it a journal

And ever since he and carmilla returned from their evening lust they knew something had occurred. If it was going to be anywhere it'd be in the journal

Hence why they were breaking into his room at the hazbin hotel

Odette manages to break the lock and the door opens

Clara: ok now lets looooooh god

The girls stare at a room right from a horror movie adorned with skulls and weapons

The two walk in hesitantly staring at the various decorations

Odette: we're going to die here

Clara: well I'm sure there are worse r- *sees skull* holy shit is this a dodo? Where'd he find a dodo?

Odette opens a closet and starts looking through the items

Odette: bear trap, stun gun, darts, brass knuckles, kunai, severed arm, chain-*realizes she saw a severed arm* not gonna question it just gonna forget it

They then notice a desk with a leather book on it

Clara: yes! That's gotta be it!

They approach the desk and notice a small photo near the edge

The photo was of a woman who looked fairly young in her early twenties her eyes were a sort of crimson and her hair was short and grey

Clara: huh she looks a bit like rayden

Odette: if he were gentle and at all raised like a human

Clara: hm well anyway let's open this book

Odette flips ppen the journal only to see only blank pages

Clara: wha-? There's nothing here?

Odette: well there's one thing written in a page

Clara: whats it say?

Odette: "Gotcha"?

Clara: that makes no sense

Rayden: it does to me

The girls go pale and turn around

Clara: uh ah heh hi rayden

Odette: you played us didn't you?

Rayden: of course I did you really think I just leave all my information in an easy access book where anyone can find it?

Clara/Odette: yes?

Rayden sighs

Rayden: well you still failed the lesson of applying logic to targets profiles and you broke into my room so you will be punished

Odette: punished how?

The scene cuts to the girls running around an area in running gear as rayden and carmilla watch

Rayden: 60 laps left you two!!

Carmilla: normally I'd be opposed to this but they kept asking me how are outing to lust went

Carmilla goes quiet for a bit glancing at rayden

Carmilla: look about that night-

Rayden: don't worry we were both pretty intoxicated so we're both at fault...best course is forget it and move on in my opinion

Carmilla looked almost saddened

Carmilla: right...yes... move on

There was a secret Carmilla failed to share with rayden about their evening

While he didn't remember what occurred she did

 

MINI-FLASHBACK

Carmilla is seen lying on a bed panting with a dazed and naked rayden laying on top of her burying his face in her neck

Rayden: you're so beautiful

Carmilla looks over at him before raising his head out of her neck

They stare at each other before melting into a heated kiss

 

 

Carmilla: just...forget

 

Chapter 17: Seeing Stars

 

 

 

The scene opens with a shot of a galaxy, with Stolas narrating over it.

 

Stolas: In the great expanse of the nether, there exists boundless amounts of magnificent phenomenon. The great brilliance of an exploding star, the nimble dance of space dust through a nebula. But once every one thousand years, our corner of reality is treated to an incredible sight. From the deep eldritch recesses of the cosmos, the tears of a forgotten colossus begin to fall. 

 

Stolas: Tears made of the hopes and dreams of every living thing that never came to be. Condensed and sent shooting across the night sky in a dazzling final display. What appears to mortal beings as a meteor shower, we can see for what it is: Azathoth's Tears.

 

Octavia (Young): *Giggles* Daddy, can we go see it someday?

 

Stolas: Yes, dear. I promise, when the day comes nothing will be able to keep me from being there with you. Good night, my Owlette.

 

Octavia (Young): *Yawns* Good night! 

 

She turns and wiggles and giggles in her bed.

 

Scene shifts to present Octavia, still looking happy; she's circling a drawing on a calendar of her face, Stolas' face, and a meteor shower. The starfall is "today". She hops down a hallway putting on her boot.

 

Octavia: Hey, dad! 

 

She looks in her kitchen and around the manor, but he isn't there.

 

Octavia: Dad? Dad? 

 

She sees an open foyer door, we hear Stolas' voice coming through it.

 

Stolas: Yes, I know! 

 

The scene jumps to Stolas out front on the phone with Stella, squeezing a servant in his other hand. Imps are loading items into a van while Aamon surveys the whole thing concerned and smoking his pipe

 

Stolas: It will be there, shortly. 

 

Stolas: Of course they're being careful!

 

Octavia: Dad, what's going on?

 

Stolas: Apparently, your mother can't exist somewhere for two minutes without the entirety of her possessions-- 

 

Stella is yelling something incomprehensibly in response through the phone as he speaks.

 

Stolas: What? No! I'm not turning her or your brother against you-- Yes, Stella!

 

Aamon groans hating being in the middle of this but it was better than being present for the terms of this divorce

 

Octavia: Dad? This is going to be done before tonight, right?

 

Stolas: What? Oh. I hardly think so. Knowing your mother, this will take all weekend. 

 

Aamon: actually 4 days if she wants this all brought to her orderly

 

Stolas: oh it'll be there quicker than that *turns to the imps loading the car* Don't be gentle about it, now! Break whatever you have to, to get it all in there.

 

Stella: *through the phone* What?! What did you just tell them to do?!

 

Aamon grabs the phone

 

Aamon: don't worry Stella I'll make sure everything gets there intact and shiny...yes I'm still helping you unpack

 

Octavia: But, tonight was supposed to-

 

Stolas: Darling, can we not talk about this now? Your mother's being a real B-I-T-C-H.

 

Stella: *through the phone* The fuck do you mean-

 

Aamon: damn it stolas I just calmed her down!! 

 

More incomprehensible yelling is heard from Stella's end.

 

Stolas: Well, how was I supposed to know she can spell?! I've never seen her read!

 

Stella: *yelling through the phone* I'm going to take everything! Everything you own!

 

Out of frustration, Octavia slams the door and yells she rips up the calendar page, angrily topples her telescope over, and grabs a bag with her things and leaves the mansion.

 

Aamon enters via room a bit later

 

Aamon: via? You in here? *looking around the room* I know todays not exactly going how you want and I know this divorce is stressing you out so I was thinking maybe we could hit up that new store you seemed interested in? Take your mind off-

 

Aamon notices the crumpled up calendar.

 

He bends down and inspects todays date and the picture

 

Aamon: *blows out light green smoke* fuck...via what are you going?

 

 

 

 

The scene zooms in on her circled date and then cuts to another calendar with a circled date of the 20th with the words "Have The Talk" 

 

There's a sound of crashing and the calendar zooms out, showing that it is Verosika-themed, with a post-it note of a drawing of Blitzo's face slapped over hers. It zooms further out as knives fly past the screen and Blitzo looking nervous.

 

Blitzo: Loona, honey, wait just a-- shit! 

 

He runs backwards as Loona runs forwards looking pissed.

 

Rayden is seen sitting on a chair reading a book titled "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck" ignoring the chaos

 

Blitzo: Loonie, please, can we talk-- 

 

The office's empty water dispenser is thrown his way and hits him in the face.

 

Blitzo: FUCK! Uh, I mean, wow! Good throw, honey! I-I'm so proud of youuuuu! 

 

Loona pounces and tackles him off camera.

 

Loona grabs a picture off the wall and begins beating Blitzo with it while Millie walks past to the couch where Moxxie is sitting. She joins him on it and they drink coffee together from their matching mugs.

 

Millie: What's this all about, honey?

 

Moxxie: Ah, oh! Blitzo finally talked to her about her attitude with clients. 

 

Rayden: which is just asking for a fight

 

Blitzo grabs the couch they're sitting on and pulls it forwards, jumping and hiding behind it.

 

Loona: *Growls*

 

Blitzo: I just think some small tweaks might help you be more of a uh, people person, you know?

 

Loona: I am a people person! 

 

Rayden: you told our last client to crawl into a hole and fuck himself to death. Satisfying but he withdrew our contract

 

Blitzo: eh he paid half in advance so I call that a win!

 

She reaches forwards, grabs Blitzo by the collar and pulls him close.

 

Loona: If I'm so terrible, how about you just grow a pair and replace me?

 

Blitzo: Okay, well, maybe I- Maybe I might.

 

Loona: What?

 

Blitzo looks back at Moxxie who gives him a thumbs up, turns back to Loona.

 

Blitzo: Maybe I will, little missy! Yeah, that's right it's tough love time. Rayden can handle phones easily enough!

 

Rayden: oh no *stands up and walks away* you leave me out of this

 

Blitzo: he'll come around

 

Rayden: I will not! 

 

Blitzo: So, now you can... go... to your desk!

 

Loona growls and drops him before heading back to her desk.

 

Octavia opens the door and wraps her hair around her neck like a scarf disguise. No one notices her entering.

 

Moxxie: Sir, if I may say so; you're doing the right thing. If we can't even hire a cheerful qualified receptionist, how can people trust us to massacre and mutilate their enemies for them? It's good for business.

 

Octavia halts before Loona spots her sneaking in, but she doesn't react to her. Octavia makes it into Blitzo's office and starts rummaging around in his desk to no avail. She turns behind her to a framed portrait of IMP all together and moves it to reveal a wall safe covered in spider webs and labeled "Blitzo's stuf Do Nut Steel!!" with a drawing of two horses. She enters a code of 1-2-3-4 and the safe opens. 

 

Only the grimoire is gone

 

Rayden: *behind her* you should work on your stealth I heard you coming halfway down the hall

 

Via turns around startled by raydens presence

 

Octavia: how did you-?

 

Rayden: two possible scenarios from divorce kids who visit hitmen 1. Kill the less favoured parent or 2. They're running away

 

Octavia: I'm not running away!

 

Rayden: mmhm then why were you looking for the book?

 

Octavia: I...my dad promised to take me to see this meteor shower but he...he's more concerned with dealing with my mom so I...I..

 

Rayden looks at via as she starts tearing up

 

He sighs as he gives her the grimoire

 

Via looks up at him

 

Rayden: the condition being I'm going with you. 

 

Via nods

 

She grabs her father's grimoire out of the safe and flips through the pages.

 

Rayden: you know how to use this thing right?

 

Octavia: yeah I think so. 

 

Rayden: that's a yes or no question

 

Octavia: Take us to see the stars. 

 

A pentagram swirls around her and black swirls of power stream towards the ceiling creating a portal

 

Rayden: well...consequences be damned

 

The light show coming from his boss' office catches Moxxie's attention.

 

Moxxie: Um, sir?

 

Blitzo: *cucumber slices fall off his eyes* The fuck?

 

I.M.P squeezes through the door as one weapons drawn, just in time to see Octavia and Rayden disappearing through the portal.

 

Blitzo: *raises voice* ...Looona!

 

Loona: *Off-screen, nonchalantly* Oh, yeah. You have a visitor.

 

 

 

 

Octavia slowly blinks her eyes open.

 

Octavia: Where am I?

 

The scene opens on a blank Hollywood star as a hobo offscreen vomits onto it, causing Octavia slides backwards and yelps. The dead body of Brennon Ragers with an eyeball coming out of his head lies underneath Octavia, who accidentally crushed him after falling on him from the portal. The grimoire sits next to him. Octavia looks up and the portal closes. She then runs off with the grimoire.

 

Octavia: Woah!

 

Clown: This is my territory, bitch! Take your shitty costume and get the fuck off my corner! *pushes Octavia*

 

Octavia grabs her things and runs across a cross walk while cars swerve and almost hit her. She runs into a protest mob. They're holding signs that say, "demons walk among us", "God hates you personally", and "<-- To Hell".

 

She dodges away from them and almost into a gleaming golden statue of a man smiling with his hand out. Octavia falls to the ground as two ladies see her and look shocked. Octavia looks frightened as she grabs the grimoire before rayden grabs her and pulls her into an alley

 

Rayden: here's a tip for the future missy. Specify your words!

 

Octavia: sorry! Dad makes it look so simple

 

Rayden: ugh lets try and figure out where exactly we are *he pokes his head out* looks earthly at the very le-*he freezes* oh no

 

Octavia: oh no? What's oh no?

 

Raydens eyes dart around looking at different details of the city 

 

Rayden: over glamorized buildings, hot climate, people angry for no reason, excessive pop culture influence oh fuck...WE'RE IN LOS ANGELES

 

Rayden retracts into the alleyway sliding to the ground breathing rapidly while octavia just looks confused

 

 

 

 

The scene cuts to Blitzo also panicking.

 

Blitzo: Shit, shit, shit, shit! *grabs Moxxie* What the fuck am I supposed to tell Stolas?! What am I supposed to tel raydens leash holder when he finds out rayden bolted!?

 

Moxxie: you mean mastema?

 

Blitzo: yeah Jemma whatever

 

Moxxie: Well, stolas seems to like you, sir. Maybe he would understand if -- *gets shoved away by Blitzo*

 

Blitzo: Okay, my dick is good, but it is not that good, Moxxie.

 

Moxxie: Sir, I don't think we really have a choice sooner or later both of them are gonna find out maybe it's best to deal with the one who isn't known for thin patience

 

Blitzo: So, what? You just want me to call him up and be like, "Hey, Stolas" - 

 

Jump cut to Blitzo actually on the phone.

 

Blitzo: So, your daughter came by, rayden gave her your book, and teleported off to who the fuck knows where with him, and we have no way of getting any of them back, okay?! Okay! Good talk, byeee!

 

He looks progressively more worried as he speaks and quickly puts the phone down when he's done, backing away slightly.

 

Blitzo: Oh, that actually went better than I thought.

 

The door blows up and Stolas stands inside in his full demon form with Aamon standing next to him eyes glowing green and breathing thick green smoke

 

Stolas: *demonically* BLITZO!

 

 

 

 

Cut back to Octavia and Rayden who's still panicked 

 

Octavia: so you're not afraid of heaven or life and death battles or ANYthing in hell but you draw the line with a city?

 

Rayden: THIS IS MUCH DIFFERENT I HATE LA!! UGHHHHHH!! I'VE DONE MY DAMNEST TO AVOID IT!

 

Octavia:  uh why?

 

Rayden: not answering that *he stretches his face then pinches the bridge of his nose* well you brought us to this awful place what's next?

 

Octavia had to admit she didn't plan that far ahead

 

Octavia:  um find the meteor shower? By...asking directions?

 

Raydens face mask and goggles were covering it but he had the most deadpan of deadpan looks 

 

Octavia proceeds to try to talk to people on the street, who are ignoring her. While rayden just looms behind her

 

Octavia: Hey, do y- Can you help - h-how do we get ah - I - excuse me, I just need to know where we can... *sighs* see the stars. *groans and rubs at her eye, pulling her beanie over her face*

 

Rayden: rule 1 of l.a missy unless your a celebrity no ones gonna talk to you and even if they do talk to you it'll be kinda disturbing and lustful

 

Octavia: I don't see you helping ease the problem

 

Rayden:  not my job

 

A pamphlet flies into Octavia's face it says "bus tours" on the back and on the inside center panel "Star * Struck Tourz" and in the bottom left hand corner "Stalk your fave celeb!"

 

Octavia: *crumples the flyer close in a hug* Yes! Come on I found a way!

 

She expands it back out and runs to hop a seat on the Starstruck Tourz bus.

 

Rayden: what way exa-*sees bus*......I could've taken today off *starts walking to the bus* I have 72 vacation hours saved up I could've used those gone somewhere remote and quiet.

 

Rayden boards the bus

 

 

 

 

Stolas paces in front of Moxxie, Millie, and Blitzo while aamon stands to the side

 

Stolas: How could this happen?! Do you just let anyone waltz into your office and grab infinitely powerful artifacts?! *clutches at his hat worriedly* Why would she do this? How are we supposed to find her? Where would she go?

 

Aamon: stolas she's with blackveil it's not like she's out alone and unprotected

 

Stolas: that's worse!! He's a horrible influence! We need to find her before he turns her into a...a..a hoodlum!

 

Loona sniffs the air.

 

Loona: Well, it reeks of urine and desperation so... *sniffs again* Ugh... L.A. 

 

Everyone goes from worried to turning and looking at Loona surprised.

 

Loona: What?

 

Moxxie: doesn't rayden hate L.A?

 

Blitzo: yeah we may wanna find them quickly

 

 

 

 

Cut to Loona being shoved through a portal that the rest of IMP and Stolas walks through.

 

Blitzo: Alright, Loona, let's make this quick. In and out before anyone notices us here. 

 

Sounds of gunfire and screaming as Blitzo looks around the alley way that they've portaled into.

 

Blitzo: Oh. This doesn't look much different from Hell. *brushes off his front* Alright, now let's get to work. Loonie, sniff!

 

Loona: *removes an empty can from her hair* How am I supposed to smell anything in this city?

 

Moxxie: Can't you even do one thing right?

 

Loona: *smugly* Can't you finally do something about how fat you are?

 

Moxxie: I'm not --

 

Blitzo: *also smugly* You know, it wouldn't kill you to put a salad in your body every now and then.

 

Moxxie: What? But, I'm not fat!

 

Aamon: you are rather blubbery looking in the gut

 

Moxxie: I am not

 

Blitzo jumps up on a dumpster and tapes a picture to the open lid. 

 

Blitzo: Now, first things first we're gonna do this the old-fashioned way *points at his drawing* We're gonna need disguises.

 

Loona and Stolas get a dual transformation sequence into human disguises.

 

Blitzo: No chance you can conjure us a couple of those, can ya?

 

Stolas: Sadly, no. I'm afraid without my grimoire, my powers are just a tad limited in the human world.

 

Blitzo: What, you can't memorize your fucking spells?

 

Stolas: *annoyed* Oh, your memory's so great? *gestures to Moxxie* What's his phone number?

 

Blitzo: *defeatedly* Fuck you.

 

Stolas: *smugly* Exactly. Aamon why aren't you in disguise? You can shapeshift too

 

Aamon: (scared) stolas please don't make me

 

Stolas: you stand out too much as it is now on with it

 

Aamon: (scared) you know I can't do it naturally anymore! And with the beak it hurts!

 

Stolas: my daughter's safety is at stake now suck it up!!

 

Aamon gulps 

 

The sounds of bones breaking, gurgling and pained screams are heard in the background as everyone looks at the obscured process wincing in disgust and concern even moxxie who vomits to the side

 

Aamon then is revealed in a human disguise

 

Aamon: ok I can hold this I think

 

Loona: your eyes are bleeding

 

Aamon: I'll be fine *nose starts bleeding*

 

They walk out of the alleyway and Stolas grabs a pair of red-tinted sunglasses which he puts on his head where his second pair of eyes would be in his normal form. Moxxie runs face first into a human.

 

Music Dude: Hey, little man. How about you check out *pulls CD out of jacket* this demo right here? This is some premium Grade-A fire right here! Perfect for you to crank with the little lady.

 

He grabs Millie and pulls her close to her obvious displeasure.

 

Moxxie: Oh, wow! You made this? Thank you. 

 

He and Millie walk away as the dude follows and stops them.

 

Music Dude: Oh, hey, hey, hey. Hold up a sec, you just gonna grab it and go?

 

Millie: *annoyed* He said, "thank you".

 

Music Dude: *puts a hand in her face* Twenty bucks, man.

 

Moxxie: *grabs Millie's face, desperately* Millie, we need money to pay this talented artist! 

 

Millie watches as the rest of their group walks past the corner without them.

 

Millie: You can just give it back, Mox.

 

Moxxie gasps and grabs the sides of his face, he jumps behind a tree crouching and holding the CD close.

 

Moxxie: Millie! These artists put their heart and soul into their work! I can't just give it back like it's worthless! 

 

He hisses and swipes at a squirrel that was sniffing at him while holding the CD close.

 

Millie: It probably is.

 

A woman walks past and flips a coin to Moxxie.

 

Woman: Sick demon costume, man! 

 

Moxxie stares at the coin he's received.

 

Woman: It's metal as fuck!

 

Moxxie stands up and flips the coin before accidentally dropping it. He chases after it, collects it, and flips it again catching it correctly this time.

 

Moxxie: I have an ide- Oh, woah! Hey, hey, hey, hey, come back here! *grunt of effort* I have an idea!

 

 

 

 

Switch back to Octavia and rayden. The bus stops and via groans while rayden is looking at his phone unamused and silently still hating LA

 

Tour Guide: And to your left, you'll see the home of one of those influencers who thinks they're hot shit cause now they do TV shows. 

 

A woman and her kid hop into a limo while a man lays prostrated on the ground crying and begging, the limo drives away and he stands up and begins kissing the man standing nearby wearing a pink bathrobe.

 

Octavia groans and turns away pulling her beanie down over her eyes.

 

Rayden: told you this place is the worst

 

Octavia: please say something to take my mind off this

 

Rayden: anything?

 

Octavia: ANYthing

 

Rayden: um ok I once got hired to kill this guy who had a major amount of an organizations funds. He was staying at a casino at the time so I followed him in and well did my job. I mean they made movie about it but whatever

 

Octavias interest was piqued

 

Octavia: what movie?

 

Rayden: I don't remember

 

Octavia: was it Wild Card?

 

Rayden:I really don't know

 

Octavia: that's the only one that would fit you

 

Rayden: look I don't remember much except the fact that, that last hand nearly killed me.

 

Octavias eyes widened

 

Octavia: it was Casino Royale?!! Are you James Bond?!

 

 

 

 

Scene cut to a door opening at a store labeled "Little costume shop of horrors". A torso animatronic with an eye falling out cackles. Blitzo walks through the door dressed in a pink shirt, blue jeans, and wig. His horns have been covered with frankly gigantic ears. Stolas looks up at him as Blitzo gestures to himself.

 

Blitzo: So?

 

Woman #2: Look, everyone! It's Holly's Wood star, Brennon Ragers!

 

Blitzo: The fuck is a Brendon Rager - Oh. 

 

He looks up and sees a billboard for "Sweetie! I'm In the House!! Guest Starring Brennon Ragers". The man on the poster is the one Octavia accidentally killed by landing on earlier.

 

Stolas: *looking up at the billboard, eyes widen* Oh, dear.

 

A crowd immediately mobs Blitzo, taking pictures and begging for things while Blitzo tries to escape.

 

Aamon: AH WATCH THE SKIN!

 

Blitzo: *shouting* Millie, where are you and your whore bag husband?!

 

Cut to Millie and Moxxie singing "Til the Day We Die"; a couple and other passersby stand together witnessing the demon couple's performance, as the Music Dude who gave Moxxie the $20 CD looks miffed. One street performer takes off a mask resembling a dinosaur Elmo from Sesame Street.

 

Moxxie and Millie: ♫ You're my lovely little monster, and I'll never say goodbye. I will kill for you, until the day we die. ♫

 

The crowd cheers throwing roses and money Moxxie's way while he bows. He points to the money earned to Millie looking excited. She looks less than impressed. He gives the money to the Music Dude.

 

Moxxie: And, here you are, my fellow Troubadour.

 

Music Dude: *snatches the mug full of coins, annoyed* Whatever, man. Get the fuck outta here, you're cramping my business.

 

Millie: Come on, babe! We have to catch up to Blitzo before - 

 

She turns and runs face first into a mural.

 

Art Salesman: Ayyy, wanna buy some art?

 

Moxxie: *excitedly, picks up a flyer* Wha? YES! 

 

The stall he is holding a picture that says "believe" on it. There are three key chains displayed: a palm tree head on a figure wearing a bikini, a wolf wearing boxers with hearts either over or as its nipples, and a Verosika Mayday in her human form holding a microphone, smiling and looks happy. Millie facepalms at Moxxie's response.

 

Cut back to the piling crowd surrounding Blitzo.

 

Blitzo: *shouting* I'm taking this out of their pay!

 

A truck is seen with agents jumping out to break the commotion. A man is seen blowing his whistle with a diploma in his hands, and Blitzo is finally let go. A producer approaches him.

 

Producer: *holding a bag of fruit snacks* Mr. Ragers, we've been looking for you everywhere. You were supposed to be on set an hour ago!

 

Blitzo: The fuck are you talking about?

 

Producer: Your guest spot on... *eats a fruit snack* "Sweetie! I'm in the House!!"

 

Aamon: that sounds like a ripoff of another sitcom

 

Producer: shut the fuck up rich guy

 

Aamon: I'm actually surprisingly poor 

 

Producer: We're taping tonight. Now, hurry up and get in the car!

 

Blitzo: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! I'm not going anywhere with you, jizz-biscuit! *flips him off*

 

Producer: Very funny, Mr. Ragers. Now, get in the car. *tries to lure him with a fruit snack* Come on, boy, come on.

 

Blitzo: Get your fucking hands off me!

 

Blitzo breaks free from the guard as briefly as he is caught again.

 

Blitzo: Loona! Birds! A little help, here?!

 

Blitzo's fake ears fall out, as a man who drops his baby catches the fake ears. This leads the crowd to have an altercation, fighting over the ears. Stolas tries to get through.

 

Stolas: E-excuse me, sir. we're... *fixes hair nervously* Mr. Ragers' agents, *aamon gives stolas a wtf look* and I don't believe you can just--

 

An agent behind Stolas cracks his neck, and grabs him from behind.

 

Stolas: Oh! You are strong!

 

Another agent moves behind aamon

 

Aamon: don't touch me! I'll- wait this studio does it have drugs

 

The agent nods

 

Aamon jumps into the agents arms bridal style

 

Aamon: take me away

 

Blitzo Aamon and Stolas are thrown in the back of the car. Blitzo growls his way back out, but the doors close before he can escape.

 

Stolas: Blitzo, we don't have time for this. Via could be anywhere. She could be in danger.

 

Blitzo: Don't worry, I'm on it.

 

Blitzo breaks the windows with his horns, and spots Loona punching the people in the crowd.

 

Blitzo: Loonie, go find Via and ray! We'll catch up soon!

 

Loona flips him off.

 

Blitzo: *proudly* Yeah! Way to be a team player, sweetie! 

 

Blitzo: *turns to Stolas* She's in great hands.

 

 

 

 

Cut to the bus, people walking out of it. The camera pans up to an annoyed Octavia ripping the pamphlet in half. She proceeds to walk away from the group with rayden beside her, not noticing a crime scene, walking above a corpse. 

 

Octavia: this was stupid...should've just relied on my dad or hell maybe my uncle would've remembered this instead I'm stuck wandering aimlessly with a pale red eyed nut job!

 

Rayden: why do you think you need to rely on others at all?

 

Octavia: what?

 

Rayden: you wanted to see this event because you love your dad but see love and rely are very different. You can love others but when it comes to who you can rely on you can only rely on yourself to get by. Relying on loved ones will slow you down because when things are at their worst people you love will never be there to pull you out of it.

 

Octavia:....is that how things work for you? You never relied on anyone but yourself?

 

Rayden: I relied on someones help once...he let me down

 

Octavia looks at rayden thinking about his words as they continue walking 

 

Rayden then notices a building that he stops in front of

 

The building looked long abandoned and untouched in years

 

Rayden: we're looking in here

 

Octavia: this dump? Why?

 

Rayden: you wanna see why I hate this place?

 

Octavia followed curious

 

The enter moving through rubble til they see a collapsed area where the sun shines through on something like a spotlight

 

The thing in question is a skeleton in raggedly clothes filled with holes caused by gunfire. The skeleton stands perfectly upright raising a katana in it's hands as if about to strike someone

 

Octavia: damn...what happened?

 

Rayden circles the skeleton

 

Rayden: police...anonymous tip set the guy up for an ambush in the building...cops thought it'd be an easy kill but he proved them wrong. He used what weapons he had and cut them all down even as he was peppered by gunfire he kept killing until the world looked red.

 

Octavia looks around noticing more skeletons and starts to get nervous

 

RRayden: but...no ones invincible and eventually all the wounds took their toll and the man died in this position...but the cops were so afraid by that point they never moved the body and left it to rot here

 

Octavia: you seem to know a lot about it.

 

Rayden:  well *stares the skeleton in the sockets* who wouldn't remember the day they died?

 

Octavia: wha- THIS IS YOU?! 

 

Rayden nods

 

Rayden: this place...why'd I have to die here...this shithole of a city now I'm brushed under the rug here in favour of fucking celebrities...my first and only mistake was here. Least I took some lives with me...

 

Octavia just stares at him

 

Octavia: you are severely messed up you know that? But interesting

 

Rayden:  hm

 

Rayden looks at the skull before using his mechanical arm to shatter it via punch

 

Rayden and via walk out

 

Rayden: *looks at the sky* you wanna see stars?

 

Via nods

 

Rayden:  follow me

 

 

 

 

Cut to a building entitled "Starstruck Studios". One Agent has Stolas sling over his shoulder while other agents are seen carrying aamon and a resisting Blitzo, doing everything in his power to try and escape, but to no avail. With the paparazzi around him, he is then thrown to a chair in a makeup room.

 

Producer: Let's get him ready! He's on in five!

 

Blitzo: What? "Five" what? I-I can't be on a sitcom!

 

Blitzo is then smacked in the face with a powder pad, as the smoke transitions to backstage, with Stolas beside him holding water bottles.

 

Aamon inspects the bottle closely before shrugging and sipping it

 

Producer: Should've had an ego crisis before signing the contract.

 

Blitzo: I-I-I... Whoa-, I don't even know the fucking lines, idiot!

 

Producer: Well, that's why God invented teleprompters!

 

The scene shifts to an actress smoking a cigarette, a child actress snorting cocaine, and a guy on a teleprompter that says "GOD KILL ME PLS", before breaking down and electrocuting the guy on top of it.

 

Aamon: lazy thespians 

 

Stolas: Shouldn't he rehearse, or something?

 

Producer: No can do, we're live in 10, 9--

 

As the producer walks out the stage, Blitzo begins to hyperventilate.

 

Blitzo: Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! I-I... I can't do this. No, not again. I-I haven't performed since--

 

Stolas: *approaches Blitzo* Blitzo, if your performance on stage is half as good as it is in bed, you'll leave them breathless.

 

Stolas strokes Blitzo's face as a nervous Blitzo gulps to the sound of that.

 

Aamon: ugh I'm going to wander...

 

Aamon walks off

 

Stolas: Now, hurry up and wow them, so we can get back to finding Via.

 

Stolas pushes Blitzo onto the set where the lights have yet to be turned on.

 

Stolas: Break a leg, darling!

 

He quickly closes the door, and the lights go on faster than Blitzo can respond. He then looks towards the studio audience.

 

Producer: *off-screen* Action!

 

The scene zooms out to the studio audience observing, as theme music plays. Zooming back in towards an actor on the couch.

 

Male Actor: Well, if it isn't our neighbor, Ronnie. You feel that earthquake earlier?

 

Blitzo looks towards the stage crew looking just as distressed as he is.

 

Stolas: *whispering* Say something...

 

The teleprompter appears with Blitzo's lines, with the latter sweating profusely attempting to play along.

 

Blitzo: Oh, yeah? Yeah. "That was just my wife rolling out of bed."

 

Stolas looks nervously to the audience, unresponsive at first, but laughing instantly. Blitzo then smiles to their reaction, not noticing the signs indicating people to laugh with a bit of static.

 

Blitzo: Yeah, yeah! *more enthusiastically* Yeah, and then that BITCH hit her head on the way down and shattered her skull!

 

The signs do not change, as they still say "Laugh", but no one is laughing, except for Stolas, finding this humorous.

 

Blitzo: There's blood everywhere... pee in her pants...

 

Stolas continues to laugh in hoots, the audience looks up at the signs, which say, "Srsly, laugh anyway", and the audience proceeds to laugh to this as well. Blitzo, becoming less nervous, winks at Stolas, who blushes immensely and chugs a bottle of acid water.

 

 

 

 

Aamon is seen as he said wandering

 

Aamon: this is why I'll never have kids...too much risks like this

 

He enters another room

 

???: (echo) not like any one would wanna have kids with you anyway

 

Aamon groans as he starts to get dizzy

 

???: (echo) disgrace to the goetia

 

???: (echo) loveless

 

Aamon: (dizzy) huhhhhhh fuck...just take the hit..

 

???: (echo) you only ever be seen as the waste of space

 

Aamon: (dizzy) take the hit...it'll go away

 

Aamon loses his balance and falls onto the floor  before leaning against a couch

 

Aamon: (dizzy) fuck...my fucking life

 

Aamon turns his head and sees a pill bottle and a pained grin forms on is face

 

 

 

 

Transition to Loona sipping coffee and opening up her phone to "Sinstagram". As she walks around the city with "I Like It" playing on her phone, she stops when she spots the Star Owl: Souvenir Shop sign on the wall. She admires this, and takes a selfie with it to post on her Sinstagram.

 

After posting the photo and scrolling down her feed, she notices a post from Octavia at the same location. Taken aback by this, she spits out her coffee, and then looks at Octavia's profile, with some of her recent posts being pictures she took throughout the city.

 

One post shows a castle she was nearby, with the caption reading "Found a cool looking castle, reminds me of home..." which was shown to have been posted two minutes ago when Loona first saw it. As Loona observes, that same castle from the post is right behind her. Looking at the castle, and the coffee, she crushes the latter and runs towards the castle. The coffee spills and gets stepped on, as the scene transitions to the castle from the post.

 

Loona looks around trying to find Octavia, but her phone goes off again, revealing another post from Octavia depicting where she is at, but no sign of her in real life. Another post, where she's seen in front of the Holly's Wood sign, Loona is right in front of it, and when she believes she found Octavia, she mistakes her for a human that looks like her from behind.

 

The montage continues as Loona scrolls through her phone to multiple places that Octavia has been in, with the background changing to its exact location, but every attempt proves futile with Octavia nowhere to be found. Loona sweats for a while, but still keeps searching. She approaches the observatory in front of her.

 

The scene transitions to the same observatory seen in a newspaper from an audience member. Back at Starstruck Studios, the audience is seen looking either visibly bored, or mentally scarred. Stolas is also looking troubled.

 

Blitzo: Oh, Uggie! You've gone and done it again.

 

Cut to a pug who seems to have urinated on the set's couch.

 

Blitzo: *enthusiastically* That's the fifth couch this year!

 

The scene pans up to the screens, still advising the audience to laugh, who struggle to do so. One audience member laughs out of insanity, and then passes out while foaming at the mouth.

 

Blitzo: You know, maybe it's about time I found *boops Uggie on the nose* you a new home, one that could put up with your attitude.

 

As Blitzo takes out a leash, the other actors appear on set.

 

Child Actor: I could take him, Mr. Ronnie! I'd be happy to adopt old Uggie and give him the attention he needs!

 

As the family comes together, the spotlight centers only them, with cute animals surronding them. The crowd responds with an "Awww", as Blitzo faces away from them.

 

Blitzo: Yeah... yeah, m-maybe, you should adopt...

 

Looking at Uggie, the scene pans to a flashback from several years prior, Blitzo looking in a cell with a bunch of hounds, the one in the center resembling Uggie.

 

Blitzo: Aww, they're all so cute. And they're.... sad.

 

Blitzo is seen at a Hellhound adoption center.

 

Adoption Center Lady: Maybe you could adopt this one here. Quite a strong lad, he'll be perfect for whatever work you want to use him for.

 

Blitzo sets his sight on the dog he's recommended, but his look of excitement turns into disgust after seeing the hound's face.

 

Blitzo: Ugh! No, I'm not looking for no ugly wonker, heh. I need something that's more family-friendly,

 

Adoption Center Lady: *still deadpan* A gift for the wife, huh? No problem. We have a nice selection of other hounds.

 

As the two continue to walk, Blitzo stops for a moment at the cell in front of him.

 

Blitzo: *pointing* Who's that?

 

The scene pans to a angry teenage Loona texting on her phone with a younger vicious hound holding a bat full of bloody nails, wanting Loona's phone.

 

Adoption Center Lady: Oh, her? That's just Loona. What a nightmare.

 

The younger hound is thrown against the cell bars. Loona pants furiously then crawls back in her space.

 

Adoption Center Lady: *off-screen* Serious attitude problems.

 

Blitzo observes Loona, as her angry faces turns slowly into sadness.

 

Adoption Center Lady: *off-screen* She'll be out of our hair next month when she ages out.

 

Loona scoots back over in her bench, holding herself and shedding tears.

 

Adoption Center Lady: *off-screen* Good riddance, if you ask me. She'll never amount to anything much.

 

The scenes flash between a sad Loona, and a sympathetic Blitzo, until flashing back to the present on set.

 

Blitzo takes the pug to himself and hugs it close.

 

Blitzo: No. No, no, no, you can't have her! She's mine, and I love her!

 

The signs that say "Laugh" change to "Awww?", as this moves the audience, but confuses Stolas.

 

Child Actor: But, Mr. Ronnie, you gotta let me have the puppy. You just gotta!

 

Blitzo hisses at her, preventing her from touching Uggie.

 

Blitzo: Don't you touch her, you little anal fissure!

 

the child actor steps away from the scene as the audience laughs, which offends Blitzo.

 

Blitzo: Oh, you think this is funny, assholes?!

 

Blitzo points to the child actor, who's trying to walk away from his outburst.

 

Blitzo: She's not fit to be a mother! I saw her doing lines of coke in her dressing room!

 

Seeing him break character, the producer sends his agents to try and deal with Blitzo.

 

Female Actor: Now, uh... Ronnie. I think maybe you should--

 

She tries to take Uggie from Blitzo, but he smacks her off of him, as well as the wig on her head.

 

Blitzo: NO! You can't have my baby, BITCH!

 

As the agents corner Blitzo, he pulls out his pistol against them, with the signs above exclaiming "Oh, shit!"

 

Blitzo: I'LL NEVER GET RID OF HER!!!

 

As more people pile on top of Blitzo, he shoots several of them in the head, but is still trapped within the crowd. Stolas tries to approach.

 

Stolas: I'm coming, Bliiiitzo! *trips* Excuse me! Would you mind?!

 

Aamon comes stumbling onto the set out of disguise and high

 

Aamon: heeeey stolasss things are all rainbow

 

Stolas: wha- aamon whats wrong with you? Why are you out of disguise?!

 

Aamon: you and the imp are sooooo cute together

 

Stolas: oh for fucks sake. What did you take?!

 

Aamon: I coulda been cute with someone...until my FUcking life screwed me over!! I coulda had the world's sexiest parrot riding me!! He is so HOT! I wanted to kiss him so baaaad

 

Stolas: yes yes wonderful. ok you *ties aamon up* stay put

 

As Stolas tries to move through the crowd holding the rope to aamon to save Blitzo, he is pushed back. Fed up with this, he grabs his water bottle, and pathetically throws it across. It hits the producer, but as the acid water spills all over him, it burns his skin severely. This causes him to knock down the teleprompter, which then reads "Let it burn" in red, lighting the stage on fire, and puts the lights out for a moment.

 

Stolas gets accidentally pushed back by the crowd, almost falling into one of the raging fires in the studio before Blitzo catches him by the arm.

 

Blitzo: *determined* Now, let's go find our daughters.

 

[Blitzo still has his gun in hand, and his pink shirt is ripped in half. An explosion bursts behind him highlighting his toned figure as Stolas blushes in response once again, before being dragged to the exit with aamon in tow

 

 

 

 

Cut to the scene, burning down as the scene pans up to the smoke coming from the fire. The smoke fades as the scene transitions and pans down to the observatory. Loona is still seen looking around, until she halts at a staircase seeing Octavia by sitting next to rayden. She sees a blue hue next to her, which is seen by Loona reverting back into her normal form.

 

Loona: Hey. 

 

Octavia: Hey. 

 

Loona: hey blackveil 

 

Rayden does a mock salute

 

Octavia: How did you find us?

 

Loona: Your Sinstagram. Nice pics by the way.

 

Loona pulls out her phone, showing pics that Octavia posted.

 

Octavia: Oh, thanks. *sniffles*

 

Loona: You okay?

 

Octavia: Can't believe I was so stupid. I spent all day looking for a place where I could see some dumb meteor shower. *crying* And all I get is this guys rotting corpse and... *gestures to the smoggy sky* this!

 

Loona: Yeah, smog's a bitch.

 

Rayden: I thought it was calming

 

Rayden notices the mood and decides to sit this part out

 

Rayden: I'll be down below

 

He walks off

 

Loona attempts to light up a cigarette, but no flames comes out. As she tries, Octavia snaps a flame for Loona's cigarette. Loona takes a smoke, as some of it gets in Octavia's face.

 

Loona: You know, your dad's really worried about you.

 

She sits next to Octavia on the ledge.

 

Octavia: *scoffs* Right! That's why you're here instead of him. He couldn't be bothered to keep his promise, and now he can't be bothered to come and get me himself. He'd rather spend his time just screaming at my mum. Why does he hate her more than he loves me? *sniffles*

 

A long silence between them until Loona extracts her cigarette and exhales.

 

Loona: *sighs* Sometimes... sometimes it's not as simple as that. This kind of shit gets messy, and everybody's got issues, especially dads. And sometimes they fuck up -- well, all the time. But, that doesn't mean they don't care.

 

Octavia: If he cares, where is he?

 

Loona: He's somewhere down there with your uncle

 

The scene pans to the city.

 

Octavia: He's here?

 

Loona: Looking for you. I mean... *smokes her cigarette once more* try to cut your dad some slack.

 

Loona continues to light up her lighter, and a flame finally lights up.

 

Loona: He may not always get it right, but... he's trying.

 

She looks at the lighter and sees the sticker with the I.M.P logo on it, and gives a smile as she look towards Octavia.

 

Loona: That's more important than you think.

 

Octavia looks at her by surprise, until she notices a light shining on her face, which is seen to be coming from the moon as the smog clears up. As the two stare at the moon, Loona turns off her lighter, and throws away her cigarette. She stands up for a few stretches.

 

Loona: You ready to go?

 

She extends her hand to Octavia, but instead, she gives her the grimoire.

 

Octavia: Yeah.

 

Loona gives her hand to Octavia once more, and this time, she is greeted with a hug, which Loona returns the favor. The scene pans out as the two hold hands.

 

The pair walk down to meet rayden

 

Rayden: we good?

 

Loona: yeah we're good

 

Octavia: um excuse me mr. Rayden?

 

Rayden: just rayden is fine

 

Octavia: right. Look you're very disturbing and incredibly violent and condescending when you want to be but...you're a good listener and thank you for...keeping me company.

 

Rayden: *turns his back* you're welcome

 

 

 

 

Cut to a far perspective of the Starstruck Studios building still burning, while police cars are heard, Blitzo and Stolas are seen walking away while dragging aamon by rope Zooming up to Blitzo's phone on the maps app with a location titled "Not Topic."

 

Blitzo: Now, if we could just find where...

 

A red portal appears in front of them, where Loona exits.

 

Blitzo: Loona!

 

With her hand still in the portal, Loona removes herself from it with Octavia still holding her hand with rayden following behind

 

Blitzo: Oh, Loona, my sweet baby girl! I'm so sorry, I'll never replace you no matter what you--

 

Before he can finish his sentence, Loona furiously kicks him in the groin as he winces in pain.

 

Loona: You're good.

 

Rayden: you look like you had an eventful day.

 

Blitzo: you don't know the half of it red

 

Blitzo flinches but rayden does nothing in response to the name

 

Blitzo: eh?

 

Rayden: I'm tired. That's the only reason

 

Blitzo: uh huh

 

Stolas painfully looks at Blitzo, until he faces Octavia.

 

Octavia: Dad... I'm so sorry.

 

Stolas runs up to hug her, as he reverts back to his demon form.

 

Stolas: I'm just relieved you're okay! But, what would possess you to do such a thing? You know I haven't taught you spells like this yet.

 

Octavia: I just wanted to see the stars you promised.

 

Stolas: The stars? *gasps* Azathoth's tears! Oh, no. Oh, my dear sweet Via. I am so--

 

Octavia stops him as she hugs him.

 

Octavia: I know, dad. It's okay, you're here now.

 

Stolas returns the hug to his daughter. Loona watches happily, until she notices Blitzo trying to hug her, and responds with smacking him with the book with a smug but loving face. 

 

Stolas: thank you for looking after her mr. Blackveil 

 

Rayden nods

 

Octavia: um why is uncle aamon tied up?

 

Aamon: weeeeeeee

 

Blitzo: I think he od' ten times at once

 

Via then notices a faint glow in the sky. The scene pans out to show several fireworks exploding in the sky. Loona records this on her phone.

 

Loona: What the fuck is that?

 

Blitzo: My acting career.

 

Loona gives a loving smile at Blitzo's quip. As the fireworks take off, Stolas and Octavia look up in awe.

 

Rayden looks up as well somehow feeling content after today

 

Rayden: still hate this place

 

Octavia: *gasps happily* Look at that one! Did you see that one?

 

Blitzo: Now, where the fuck are M n' M?

 

 

 

 

Cut to a closeup of Millie on her phone texting Blitzo. Around the alley that she came from, the portal back to I.M.P Headquarters appears in front of her. Moxxie is then seen carrying a heavy bag full of art paraphernalia.

 

Moxxie: Art is heavy!

 

Millie enters the portal, and before Moxxie can enter, he is stopped by another music salesman wanting to sell his CD's. Moxxie approaches to pay him for the demo, but Millie throws a knife and kills the salesman before Moxxie can pay him, then grabs the demo and throws it into the street.

 

Millie: March, mister!

 

Moxxie sadly walks to the portal, but for a short while after, Millie carries him effortlessly into the portal, leaving the trophy bag behind.

Chapter 18: Rayden's Lesson 7 Dream Therapy

Odette: rayden do you sleep at all?

 

Rayden stopped his lesson and turned to the girls

 

Rayden: what prompted this question? Haven’t I given you an answer?

 

Clara: well I think your lying because you’re always prepared for these lessons, you never relax and you have very dark circles underneath your eyes

 

Rayden: I sleep just when your not looking

 

Odette/Clara: *deadpan* mmhm

 

Rayden: look if I didn’t sleep at all then that would mean I pushed my brain to it’s absolute zero meaning without warning my whole body would shut dowwwwwwwwwwwwwww…..

 

Rayden falls flat unconscious

 

Odette: saw that coming

 

The two hoist him over their shoulders and carry him to a bed

 

Clara: *grunt* what is he carrying in this coat?! It weighs a ton

 

Carmilla was going over some papers as she saw the girls dragging rayden past her door

 

Carmilla: what in the rings?

 

Carmilla walks out of her office into the hallway

 

Carmilla: girls what are you doing?

 

Odette: what I can only imagine is years of sleeplessness finally caught up with rayden so we’re looking for a place where he can sleep 

 

Carmilla: hm well we have no guest rooms currently available do you suppose you two could-

 

Clara: no

 

Odette: with all due respect mother I don’t trust him in our rooms alone for even a nanosecond he might set a trap

 

Clara nods

 

Carmilla: very well I suppose he could use my bed for the next few hours

 

The girls give their mother a look

 

Carmilla: what?

 

Clara/odette: nothing~

 

They dump raydens body onto carmillas bed after removing his goggles and hat as well as detaching his metal arm

 

Carmilla: I’ll keep an eye on him until he wakes up

 

Odette: if he ever wakes up he looked drained as heck

 

The girls leave as carmilla sits in a chair next to the bed

 

For the first hour all was quiet

 

Rayden starts to stir in his sleep which carmilla notices

 

Rayden: *unconscious* no….no please

 

Rayden then starts to thrash around on the bed causing carmilla to get to her feet

 

Rayden: *unconscious* please don’t…PLEASE DON’T TAKE ME FROM HER

 

Carmilla grabs raydens shoulders attempting to steady him

 

Carmilla: blackveil! Blackveil calm down!!

 

Rayden was still thrashing

 

Rayden: *unconscious* why?……why did you take me?….I didn’t want it

 

Carmilla heard something in raydens voice she hadn’t before…

 

Genuine sadness

 

She wrapped her arms around rayden trying further to ease him 

 

Rayden seemed to calm slightly as carmilla kept him still

 

Carmilla: you’re safe…you’re safe

 

Carmilla eased rayden onto his side as he became still

 

Rayden: *unconscious* mom…I’m so sorry mom

 

Carmilla looked at his face and could swear a singular tear

 

Carmilla: is this why you don’t sleep? Are you scared to?

 

Raydens breathing was even and perhaps for the first time in awhile he was sleeping peacefully

 

Carmilla: don’t worry I’ll keep your secret…if you keep mine

 

There’s a moment of silence

 

Carmilla: I love you

Chapter 19: Exes and Oohs

The scene opens with an exterior shot of I.M.P Headquarters. Cut to the inside of the office with Moxxie holding his signature mug, rayden examining one of his guns and Loona texting on her phone.

Moxxie: *softly claps twice* You know, I checked the scale today. *inhales* And it said I lost two pounds this week.

Rayden: who-

Moxxie: i ju-

Rayden: -asked?

Loona snickered as she looked at her phone, much to moxxies annoyance.

Moxxie: I. am not. FAT!

the front door is kicked open by a furious Millie as she stomps around the office, mumbling angrily.

Millie: *mumbling angrily* Ooh! Such a fucking asshole! That little motherfucker. I just wanna take my finger up and shove it up his fuckin' little thing!

Rayden: we talking about killing or something else cause i can't tell

Millie: *hisses*

Rayden: excuse me for asking a question

Upon coming up to the table, Millie slams her coffee cup on the it disturbing Loona. Millie then passes Loona and hits a button titled "Nut button!!" that summons a cardboard cutout of a human saying, "Hi! I'm a Hooman!" then throws a knife and lunges at said cutout. Moxxie looks at her, disturbed.

Moxxie: Millie, honey. Is everything okay?

Millie hisses back at Moxxie in response, disturbing him even more, but she manages to calm down.

Millie: Yeah. Just...bumped into an ex. *tail twitches*

Moxxie: Oh! Oh...

Rayden: Someone broke up with you? That's brave

Millie: *retracts knife* He just kept going on about how he has money now, "a bright future," and "a bigger cock".

Moxxie: Wait, what?

Millie: *raises voice* Every time I see his stupid face, I can't help it! I just need to—

Millie punches the filing cabinet beside her in frustration. Blitzo enters the room on his phone shortly after.

Blitzo: What the fuck is all this noise? I got a client!

Moxxie: Sorry, sir. I'll get this all cleaned—

He holds up a photo of two imps making out in horse suits.

Moxxie: What is this?

Blitzo: Uh, research! For science! Just put it back correctly, okay? I alphabetized them.

Rayden: this one says horse hoof in....fuck, people like this? *dials number on phone* angel confirm something for me

Blitz walks back into his office.

Blitzo: Okay, so let me get this straight: you don't want us going to Earth at all for this job?

Cut to the inside of a mansion, with a businessman holding a lit cigar, and his chair facing a green fireplace.

Beside the fireplace stands a figure draped in a cloak wearing a bird like mask with red goggles and a fedora hat

Client: Correct. That will not be necessary. I'd like to meet you and your whole crew at my estate.

Blitzo: Uh, you want us killing someone in Hell. 'Cause I got to tell ya, that ain't exactly our business anymore.

Client: I'll tell ya all about it when you get here. *smokes cigar* It's regarding a business venture I'm sure will be very worth your time.

Blitzo: Ooh, how ominous. *chuckles* Fine, whatever, what's the address?

Client: Transportation has already been taken care of.

Blitzo peeks through the office blinds and notices a helicopter in front of his building. He runs to the office Moxxie, Rayden and Millie are in to find the helicopter before the main window.

Blitzo: What the fuck is that?

The helicopter shoots a grappling hook under the window

Rayden: uh oh. BRACE!

The hook pulls down breaking the wall.

Blitzo: Satan's ass crack! Enough with the wall shit, we have a door!

With the damaged walls, a wind gusts through the office and distributes all the photos Blitzo had been saving across the town.

Blitzo: My research!

Two imp children grab one of the photos and are visibly disgusted; one is crying, and the other is vomiting from the result.

Rayden: ....well there's some psychopaths in the making

Blitzo: it was art!!

Rayden: it was an insult to art is what it was

Blitzo: art is subjective rayden

The helicopter approaches Blitz, creating a bridge for them to walk upon, and the pilot steps out.

Pilot: I.M.P? Right this way, please!

Moxxie: Uh, sir?

Moxxie and rayden point their guns toward the pilot, while Millie holds her knife out.

Moxxie: What's going on?

Blitzo: Now, don't worry! It's just some fancy shmuck from Greed wanting to do business with us.

Rayden: wait another ring?...........is this an illegal client?

Blitzo: sounded like it

Rayden: ah it's all good then

Blitzo, Rayden Moxxie, and Millie walk toward the helicopter.

Moxxie: Uh, sir? I don't think this is a good idea.

Blitzo: It'll be fine. Now, get your asses moving.

Blitzo pushes Moxxie and Millie into the helicopter, and as she tries to buckle herself in, Millie notices her seatbelt is broken.

Millie: Is this thing safe?

Pilot: Don't worry, we are professionals!

 

The pilots proceed to take out a huge chunk of a wall as they fly off. Later, the same helicopter is seen flying out of a hanger in the Greed Ring as they fly over Loo Loo Land, which is going under reconstruction, along with other carnage as they fly over a sign reading, "Welcome to Notamafia Town; No mafia here! We're Mafia-free!"

Moxxie: *disdained groan* I hate this place.

Rayden: i like it this is an assassins hunting ground it's a bit like a a highschool reunion

Moxxie: how?

Rayden: you meet old friends, grudges resurface and someone leaves in a bloody state. It's relaxing

Blitzo: Oh, yeah speaking of grudges. This is your old stomping ground, isn't it, Mox?

Moxxie: Yeah, unfortunately. I grew up just over there *points through glass*, swore I'd never come back, and— uh uh— what— what, where are we going?

The helicopter starts changing direction, as Moxxie grows more and more anxious.

Moxxie: What— Blitzo, who did you say this meeting was with?

Blitzo: I'm not sure, just some rich somebody or other who wants to do biz at his place.

The helicopter finally lands, and Moxxie grows heavily worried after realizing where he's landed.

Moxxie: Oh, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!

The place in question is revealed to be a huge mansion, dark smoke fuming through both chimneys. Moxxie shivers in fear of the place, as Blitzo shoves him to move forward.

Client: (off-screen) There he is!

The client moves out the doorway, being visible on screen.

Client: There's my boy! Get over here and give your daddy a hug!

Blitzo, Rayden and Millie: "Daddy"?

Client: I only let Moxxie call me that. Unless you pay me! *laughs*

Moxxie: Guys, um, *clears throat nervously* this is my father, Crimson. Sir, this is my boss, Blitzo. And my—

Millie: —Millie! I'm his wife!

Millie takes her hand to greet Crimson as he accepts.

Crimson: And what a beautiful wife you are. *kisses Millie's hand* Mox, where have you been hiding this pretty little thang?

Millie: Oh, I'm sure he would've introduced us.. eventually.

Crimson: Oh, I'm sure. You must be rayden blackveil. Gotta say it's a pleasure to see the fabled red eyed reaper in the flesh! *holds out hand for handshake*

Rayden: i don't shake hands with c-listers *walks past crimson*

Crimsons eye twitched in anger but he kept his composure

A figure emerges from the door meeting raydens gaze

???: i see you haven't changed in the last few years...guess i was worried for nothing

Rayden: hm. Doctor, nice to see you again

???: Likewise Blackveil

Blitzo: you know this bird broad?

Rayden: indeed we used to work together

Millie: you...worked with other people...real other people?

Rayden rolls his eyes

Crimson: ah right meet-

???: i can introduce myself crimson

Crimson backs up silently enraged

???: *takes off hat and bows* Marissa Cromwell most people call me the Plague Doctor.

Blitzo: shouldn't it be plague nurse?

Plague Doctor: are you implying women can't be doctors?

Blitzo: oh- woah no noo i-

Rayden: she's messing with you

Plague doctor: indeed. I enjoy the looks of panic on mens faces

Blitzo: oh heh good one

Rayden: she also has the most advanced toxicology knowledge in existence from venom tipped weapons to fatal poisons.

Blitzo: noted

Crimson: You got to be Blitz, with the silent "o", right? I've heard a lot of good things about you and your work.

Blitzo: Really? *turns to Moxxie* What kind of shit has Moxxie been spreading about me? I'll fucking kill you Moxxie, don't you fucking test me!

Crimson: No, no! From all over. Looks like you're building a bit of a name for yourself here, kid.

Blitzo: Really? *chuckles* Well, I guess it's about time folks recognized my talent.

Crimson: *laughs* I like your attitude. Well, I hope you're all hungry. We put together a fabulous dinner for you.

Rayden: wait i thought we were here for a job

Plague doctor: you'll get a full explanation inside

Rayden sighs as he and the doctor head inside

Millie: Hey, baby. Why haven't I met your Pa before?

Moxxie: *nervously* Well uh, y'know, i-it's just, never been a—

Crimson: Hey! You two, move it before it gets cold.

Moxxie: Look, look, Millie, we can talk about it later.

Millie takes Moxxie's hand and both enter the house with Blitzo. Crimson's smile fades then he snaps his fingers and enters the house. The two men standing at the door follow him inside, closing the door behind them.

 

Inside, Crimson prepares a drink for Blitzo.

Crimson: So, Blitzo, ya always been a hitman?

Blitzo: No, no, not always. Yeah, *takes the drink from Crimson* I was in the circus for a long time.

Crimson: *finger guns* Show business! *sits down* Good money in that.

The imps sit in the room in an awkward silence.

Moxxie: What are we doing here...sir?

Crimson: *rolls eyes* Moxxie, I raised you better than that. *lights cigar* Ya know there's no business before dinner.

Rayden: mantis wouldn't take kindly to that if he were here

The doctor nods

Crimson: Besides, we're still waitin' on one more.

Rayden: who else is invited to this cesspool?

Plague doctor: i'm telling you this in advance resist the urge to brutally mame him

Rayden: why?

Suddenly, the last guest kicks his way into the house, making an entrance.

Chaz: Woo-hoo-hoo, what is up, party people?!

Rayden: oh...

Plague doctor: yeah

Millie and Moxxie: Chaz?! (to each other) Wait, what?

Moxxie: You know him?

Millie: *groans and slaps forehead* You remember that "ex" I was talking about?

Chaz walks over and hugs Moxxie and Millie.

Chaz: Looks like I got two big sex reunions today. (singsong voice) How lucky am I?

Millie: (surprised) Did you date him too?

Chaz: Ha, yeah. No big deal, but I usually bone half the people in any room I'm in—

Rayden cocks a pistol and aims it at chaz before the doctor lowers his arm

Plague doctor: no

Rayden: but his existence vex's me

Plague doctor: i know just deal with it while you're here

Blitzo: Are you fucking kidding me?! There's someone who's fucked both of you?!

Moxxie pushes Chaz's arms off of himself and Millie.

Moxxie: (bitterly) It was a long time ago.

Chaz: But, I still remember it like it was yesterday. You, a fledgling mafioso! Me, the dashing and extremely sexy muscle! It was like (fondly) it was written in the stars.

Blitzo: Ha! Moxxie in the mafia, that's fucking rich.

Blitzo then notices all of the items in the room to back up Chaz's claim: A photo of Crimson and a mob boss, the many trophies of hellbeasts hanging on the wall, and a framed family painting of Crimson, a younger Moxxie, and Moxxie's mother, as if posing like a mob family, hanging over the fireplace. Blitzo hears a knock on the door and looks just in time for Crimson's goons to enter carrying a body bag.

Blitzo: Oh... shit.

Rayden: huh...i'll admit even i didn't suspect it

Plague doctor: this weak imp being mafia or the fact c-list crimson actually got someone to fuck him?

Rayden: both really

Crimson slightly crushes his cigar

Blitzo: sorry "c-list crimson"? The fuck kinda nickname is that for a mobster?

Rayden: it's a name most assassins associate with him. He is the blandest of the bland, such a mediocre mobster that so self respecting proper hitman works for him. He's also a cheapskate with his jobs...which reminds me why are YOU working here doctor?

Plague doctor: i lost a bet with Thaddeus

Rayden: ah

Crimson was starting to lose his temper

Millie: You've never told me this before.

Moxxie: I-I don't really like to talk about this part of my life. But, (dramatically) I first saw Chaz at my induction.

Flashback to Moxxie's time in the mob. Moxxie gets a handshake and a kiss from Crimson, welcoming him into the business. Moxxie looks around the room and stops upon seeing Chaz grinning and applauding at him. Moxxie blushes at the attention Chaz is giving him.

Moxxie: (voiceover) -in the family. Our eyes met from across the room. And there was just something about him. Something that was magnetic!

Moxxie finds himself hiding behind a car in the middle of a mob turf war. He throws away the Tommy gun and pulls out a grenade, but it slips out of his hands before he can pull the pin. Moxxie runs after it and catches it the same moment that Chaz grabs it, touching his hand. Both share a smile before Moxxie picks up the grenade, pulls the pin, and throws it away. Chaz and Moxxie stare fondly at each other as the grenade explodes in the distance, the smoke forming the shape of a heart.

The scene switches over to Moxxie greeting Chaz at the door. Chaz is holding signs that he lets fall from his hands. The signs say "TELL YOUR DAD IT'S A SALESMAN" "I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU" and "MOKSIE, WILL YOU BONE WITH ME?" Moxxie blushes fondly and lets Chaz in.

Another scene has Moxxie polishing a rifle when Chaz comes up from behind and assists. Moxxie grows aroused by the interaction.

In another scene, Moxxie poses nude, except for a necklace and his socks, on the couch while Chaz paints him before the flashback fades back to the present.

Moxxie: It's been 84 years...

Blitzo: (confused) Isn't that from that boat movie?

Millie: (skeptical) Did any of that stuff actually happen?

Chaz: Oh, yeah! *licks lips* But, he skipped over the jizz-covered parts.

Rayden: i swear i can make this quick

Plague doctor: no

Moxxie: Anyway. Things changed when we went on a heist together.

Flashback to the heist, Moxxie, carrying a bag of money, is running with Chaz to the exit as the security gate begins to drop. Moxxie throws the money out of the bank and catches the gate with his shoulders to give Chaz time to slide under. Moxxie tries to escape but his leg and tail are caught under the gate when it drops to the floor.

After struggling to get out he turns to Chaz for help. Chaz suddenly hears the police sirens and grabs the money, giving Moxxie a final look before running off, leaving a betrayed Moxxie devastated and in tears. Moxxie is thrown inside a jail cell. He sadly climbs into the bottom bunk of the bed.

Blitzo: So, what're you in for?

Moxxie quietly pulls his tail closer to him. Blitzo, is lying on the top bunk.

Blitzo: Okay, not much of a talker, are you? *hops down and shakes Moxxie's hand* I'm Blitzo, the "o" is silent. I'm sure we're going to get along just fine. So, what's your deal? What'd you do? Who'd you diddle? You look like someone good with a gun. You look like someone who could shoot up an office-

Moxxie attempts to speak.

Blitzo: -and I hope you are 'cuz I got a plan to get us out of this dump but I'm going to need some help, you think you can give me a hand? I need to get out to my daughter. The babysitter will kill me if I don't get back soon. Do you like kids? 'Cause lemme tell 'ya. They're a-fucking-dorable.

Moxxie tearfully smiles as Blitzo continues talking about his escape plan. The scene returns to the present day.

Moxxie: Once I got out, I never looked back.

Blitzo sits worriedly as Millie glares and growls viciously toward a nervous-looking Chaz.

Chaz: Well, heh, as you said, it was a long time ago. *chuckles nervously*

Millie: *foaming at the mouth; furiously* I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!

Millie leaps onto the top of the couch, missing Chaz as her knife pierces through the fabric. Chaz hides behind Crimson's chair.

Chaz: Whoa, the fuck- Crazy bitch!

Crimson snaps his fingers and the plague doctor suddenly appears in front of millie in a flurry of black feathers

Plague doctor: please abstain from violence at this time ma'am

Millie ignores her and charges at chaz

The doctor sprays a type of gas at millie from a wrist device making her drop her blade and start coughing as she hits the floor

moxxie rushes to millie helping her up

Moxxie: what was that?!

Plague doctor: nothing harmful i assure you

Chaz: she a badass bodyguard or what?! *places his hand on her shoulder*

Plague doctor: don't touch me

Chaz retracts his hand nervously as the doctor sprays an antibiotic on where his hand was on her suit with a spray bottle

Maid: Dinner is served.

 

Everyone is seated in the dining room. Millie is viciously cutting through her food and glaring at Chaz and the Plague doctor but the room is completely silent.

Blitzo: So, this is aggressively uncomfortable.

Crimson: I suppose you want to know why you're here.

Blitzo: Yeah, so what gives? You know we kill people on Earth, right? We don't usually do contracts for locals. So, if you want to do business with us, you got to—.

Crimson: I don't want to do business with I-M-P,

Rayden: great i'm leaving then

He tries to go but the doctor pulls him back to his seat

Crimson: I want to do business with Moxxie.

Moxxie: *stops cutting his food* ME?!

Crimson: Yeah, kid. I only summoned I.M.P to be sure you'd show. Because, well, we're bringing Chaz into the family.

Chaz smirks while raising his eyebrows.

Moxxie: What? Since when can just anyone join the family?

Crimson: Come on, Mox. You had responsibilities here that (bitterly) I had to pick up once you left. Now Chaz is going to lighten the load.

Moxxie: Wait, I thought you always hated his guts.

Crimson: (Chaz looks confused) Well, I didn't exactly 'hated' him.

Moxxie: You called him a "friendless horse-fucker" and said he lived a "sissy lifestyle".

Crimson: Yeah, well, I was wrong. You've been gone a long time, Mox. A man can change. And so has Chaz.

Chaz: Yeah. I've grown, matured, and, recently, came into millions! (shifty eyes) But, y'know, mostly the "mature" thing.

Rayden sniffs the air

Rayden thoughts: well that was a lie

Blitzo: Oh, okay, okay. So the "horseless friend-fucker" over here gets a little moolah and suddenly, it's worth wasting our time over?

Chaz: Well, I'm the whole "package" if you know what I mean.

I.M.P is speechless.

Rayden: no and we'd rather not-

Chaz: (confidently) I got a big dick.

Rayden: *mumbling* it'd only take one bullet

Millie: (annoyed) But, what does any of this have to do with Moxxie?

Crimson: *sets down utensils* There's going to be a ceremony tomorrow. Moxxie here is going to officially release his holdings in the organization. Then you can get back to (bitterly) ignoring your family to your heart's content.

Millie: *stands up* Maybe he wouldn't "ignore his family" if they didn't force him to rub elbows with a no-good, shark-toothed FUCK FACE!

Chaz grins at Millie. Millie points a knife at his neck, threateningly.

In response plague doctor pulls out a syringe with a light blue liquid and points it at millies neck

Crimson: Ey, look. Everybody, relax. I know tensions have been high tonight. Say, why don't you stay here and get some rest? We'll have the ceremony tomorrow and then you will be free to leave. I have your rooms all prepared.

Moxxie: (Millie is about to object.) Yes, sir.

Millie: Mox?

Plague doctor: come on blackveil i'm sure we can catch up away from the rabble

Rayden: agreed

I.M.P, the doctor and Chaz begin to leave the room.

Crimson: A moment, Moxxie.

Moxxie: Just give me a minute, Millie. I'll be there.

Millie looks on with worry as Moxxie steps back inside the dining room. Chaz tries to lean into Millie but jumps back when Millie growls and tries to bite him. Alessio closes the door behind them as they leave, leaving Moxxie alone with Crimson.

Crimson: So... you think you're too good for this family now?

Moxxie: What?

Crimson: *sternly* C'mere.

Moxxie approaches his father.

Moxxie: I- I don't understand---

Crimson stands up and backhands Moxxie in the face, knocking him down.

Crimson: (angrily) You think you're gonna just get to walk away from this family and never come back?! You're dead wrong, Mox! *grabs Moxxie* Matter of fact, the only thing you're right about is that THAT obnoxious piss-stain can't get made! Not unless he marries in!

Moxxie: "Marries?" But, but who would marry—?

Crimson: Who do you think? *lets go of Moxxie and sits back down* This family needs that money and it's about time your pathetic-ass was useful for something!

Moxxie: Sir, I'm already married. I- I can't---

Crimson: You think I give a shit about your stupid beard? C'mon Mox, I even went through the trouble of makin' the house more to... your kind's liking.

Crimson presses a button on the table and bouncing dildos appear from the dining chairs, the walls, replacing the framed severed body parts, vases, and even behind a potted plant in the corner. A party ball hanging from the ceiling opens, pouring out penis-shaped confetti, revealing a banner that says "CONGRATS, GAY" and a trumpet fanfare.

Moxxie: Wait, what? What do you think I'm into?

Crimson: What? This is the kind of shit gays like, right?

Moxxie: Okay, first off - Dad, I'm bisexual.

Crimson: *shrugs* Yeah. Gay.

Moxxie: Oh, for fuck's sake! Secondly, *holds out a hand to block a dildo from hitting his face* I don't know a single person of any sexuality who'd enjoy this.

Blitzo: (from the hallway) Hah! There's dicks on the walls! *Moxxie frowns in response* Oh, that's fucking hilarious!

Rayden: (offscreen) WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING HELL IS THIS FUCKERY!?

Crimson: *grabs Moxxie by the face* Look at me, kid. One way or another, you're gonna do what I fucking say. Don't cross me.

Moxxie reflects on his childhood. A child Moxxie was struggling to cut his steak at the dinner table. His mother gently takes the plate and cuts the steak for him. She smiles sweetly at Moxxie and he smiles back at her. Crimson glares at Moxxie. Moxxie takes the plate and begins eating his dinner. Crimson then glares at his wife, nudging her foot with his. She quickly pulls her leg away from Crimson, now sitting more properly. Crimson stomps his foot.

Another memory shows Moxxie shooting three bullseyes in the shooting range. His mother ruffles his head proudly. Suddenly a goon grabs Moxxie and rushes him away from his mother and toward another shooting range.

Two goons prep a live target as Crimson hands Moxxie a real gun and point to it. Moxxie slowly takes aim but his mother takes the gun out of his hands and pushes it into Crimson's hands before grabbing her son and walking away. Crimson glares at the disrespect.

Moxxie now hides underneath the bed as his parents argue. A slap is heard and his mother walks out of the room. Later, only Crimson and Moxxie are at the dinner table. Moxxie struggles to cut his steak and then looks at his father. Crimson glares at Moxxie, who then goes back to trying to cut his food. Crimson takes a drag from his cigar and blows the smoke in Moxxie's face.

Later on, Crimson and Moxxie take a boat ride on the lake with a passenger. Crimson places a cinderblock that the passenger's tail is tied to on the side of the boat over the edge and gestures for Moxxie to push it. Moxxie looks at the cinderblock, then the pleading passenger, and backs away only for Crimson to push him back into the cinderblock.

Teary-eyed, Moxxie takes one last look at the passenger while pushing the cinderblock overboard, sending the victim into the lake with it. Moxxie watches as the air bubbles fade. Crimson preps another body over the side of the boat.

Crimson: (flashback) Let this be a lesson, Moxxie.

Crimson gestures to the lake, filled with hats, bags, shoes, and light articles that belonged to previous victims thrown into the water.

Crimson: (flashback) This is what happens when you cross me.

A high heel that resembles the ones Moxxie's mother wore floats to the surface. The scene returns to the present day.

Crimson: Now, get to bed, Moxxie. You have a big day tomorrow.

Crimson lets go of Moxxie.

Moxxie: (fearfully) Yes, sir.

Crimson: Oh, and Mox? You ever talk back to me again, (Moxxie backs up to the door)i'll have the bird bitch melt you and that pretty little thang you brought here's flesh off...Capiche?

Moxxie: Yes, sir.

Moxxie quickly finds the doorknob and steps out of the room, leaving Crimson alone in the dining room still covered with bouncing dildos and the banner. Moxxie walks up the stairs, shaken and Millie is standing at her bedroom door. Alessio gestures for Moxxie to go into a different room

Millie: Wait? How come we aren't in-

Alessio: Crimson wants you all to stay in separate rooms.

Millie: Why? Moxxie?

Moxxie: It's just one night, Millie. It's okay.

Millie: Mox, are you ok?

Moxxie: I'm fine, please don't worry sweetie.

Millie: You know you can tell me anything, right?

Moxxie: Yes. Everything's fine.

Millie: We're partners, Mox.

Moxxie: It's just my dad. It's okay, really. *kisses her hand* it'll be over tomorrow.

Millie: Ok, I love you.

She softly kisses Moxxie.

Moxxie: I love you, too. Goodnight.

Moxxie opens his bedroom to see many framed pictures of Chaz on the wall. Music plays as he sees the pictures on the wall.

Moxxie: What the--- *facepalms* Fucking why?

[The music stops playing once he closes the door. He snarls, walks into the bathroom, and washes his face with cold water. He glumly leaves the bathroom and goes to turn off the lights. When he hits the switch Chaz pops up on a heart-shaped bed.

Chaz: Like what I've done with the place?

Moxxie: Ugh. Just get out of here!

Chaz: Come on, Mox.

He pulls on a switch which lights up the words "Cum Zone".

Chaz: We used to have so much fun here. Remember? *puts his arm around Moxxie*

Moxxie: *pushes him off* I'm married, Chaz. And, even if I weren't, I would never.

Chaz: Never what? Let me take you to cum town again?

Moxxie: You are so gross! Just leave me alone!

Chaz: I know what you want most Moxxie Poxxie. *spins Moxxie around* How about a sexually charged [singsongy] musical number, heyyyy!

Chaz holds a button on the wall down with the side of his fist".

Chaz: You always loved those.

Moxxie then crouches down on the floor behind the door. Tears start to form in his eyes and starts to sob heavily. We cut to Millie's room where she is anxiously pacing back and forth. There is a knock on the door.

Millie: (relieved) Moxxie?

She opens the door and sees it's Chaz.

Millie: (angrily) What do you want?

Chaz starts to sing to Millie before being immediately cut off by her. She growls at him and puts her knife to his throat

Chaz: (annoyed) Damn it, this usually works.

Millie drops Chaz to the floor and angrily closes the door on him.

He then approaches rayden and the doctors room only to be met with a gunshot before he can touch the doorknob

Rayden: (behind door) don't try it you shark slut

Chaz gets up and waggles his eyebrows to the camera and then knocks on Blitzo's door.

Chaz: Hey there, good-looking.

Blitzo: Oh, I was wondering how long it would take you to make a pass.

Chaz: Mmm, does that mean you're down to clown?

Blitzo: Ew, what the--- you think I would violate my friends' trust by sleeping with their ex, especially one who fucked them over the way you did?

Chaz: I'll show you all of the things they liked in the sack.

Blitzo: Deal! *pulls Chaz in*

The camera pans over to Moxxie where he is lying on his side in bed, awake, his eyes wide open.

Blitzo: (off-screen) Augh... chill the fuck out! *groans in pain*

Chaz: (off-screen) Who-ho-ho! That's what my dick does to a bitch!

Moxxie turns onto his stomach and pulls out his phone. He goes on to his social media and looks at pictures of himself and Millie, they show: a younger Moxxie and Millie on a date; Moxxie and Millie in bed; Moxxie and Millie at the theatre holding up Phantom of the Opera programs, Moxxie has tears in his eyes indicating how much he loved the performance, and Moxxie and Millie at their wedding, kissing.

Moxxie starts to cry again, he then growls knowing that he must stand up to his father.

 

The scene cuts to rayden and the doctor

Plague doctor: so in the years you've been gone you've worked with a hybrid angel of some kind and hellish royalty, fought angelic hordes, lost your arm and joined up with...rabble

Rayden: that is the sum of it

Plague doctor: hm i see why striker is so envious of you, you just don't seem to wanna die...you seen much of the bastard?

Rayden: *looking at the walls studying them* we had an encounter in wrath he's still a weak little lizard

Plague doctor: figures. He even stole one of my chemicals to drug you...he has no shame

Rayden: mmhm *sniffs the walls*

Plague doctor: what are you doing?

Rayden: this whole house reeks of bad memories and abuse and they both trail to moxxie and c-list so i'd like to do some damage before i leave

Plague doctor: you know if you try and kill crimson i have to step in-

Rayden: physical i know but economically i don't think that's in your contract

Plague doctor: hmm well i am rather bored

The two exit their room and make their way through the house

 

cut back to Blitzo and Chaz in bed. Chaz is asleep and snoring.

Chaz: *sleeptalking* Oh, I got a big dick.

Blitzo tiptoes out of bed, picks up Chaz's jacket, and puts it on.

Blitzo: Okay, fucker, nobody who's that bad in bed can score two hotties that easily. I know you gotta be hiding something...

Blitzo checks Chaz's clothing until he finds his car keys.

Rayden and the plague doctor sneak through the vault until they find a large vault

Rayden: hmph cliche

Plague doctor: allow me

The doctor sprays a liquid from her wrist device onto the vault making it melt

They step through revealing a large wall of weapons and a desk cabinet

Rayden takes notice of the multitude of tommy guns

Rayden: what is it with mobs and tommy guns *grabs one* nice quality though

He then opens the cabinet

Rayden: hey doc

Plague doctor: hm?

Rayden: your hiring fee is 100,000 yes?

Plague doctor: it is my standard non-negotiable fee yes. Crimson said the shark would pay up a portion once he was brought in.

Rayden: there's barely half that amount in here

Plague doctor: ....what?

The doctor looks in the cabinet seeing only 40,000 at best

Plague doctor: he said they were struggling but yikes

Rayden: the sharks not gonna ease it either, he was fibbing at the table he's dirt poor.

Plague doctor: *calm anger* meaning...

Rayden: you're not getting paid shit when this is over

The doctor clenches her fists against the cabinet making her metal claws leave scratch marks

Plague doctor: *hisses then pauses* kinda regretting my actions now

Rayden: not killing the shark earlier?

Plague doctor: no...well yes but see when crimson brought me in it was a deterrent for you and your crew if things went south and he wanted you out of action early so...

Rayden: ...............you poisoned me earlier didn't you?

Plague doctor: yeah

Rayden: airborn?

Plague doctor: filtered through the gas i sprayed on your imp lady earlier for imps it's a temporary cough but to sinners it's quite fatal

Rayden: *sigh*

Plague doctor: sorry but you know the guild rules

Rayden: yeah, yeah we're all fair game on jobs. Just show me the kitchen so i can mix something together before-

Raydens left leg goes slack

Rayden: that starts to happen

They make their way through the house while rayden bounces on one leg

 

Blitzo sneaks outside the mansion, and clicks the car keys until he locates Chaz's car. He looks in the dashboard and finds an eviction notice, showing that Chaz is broke and has lied to Crimson about his millions. Blitzo then looks in the trunk and finds a to-do list that shows that Chaz is planning to marry Moxxie to inherit Crimson's fortune.

Blitzo: Oh, fuck that! No one fucks with M&M's marriage but me!

Blitzo is tranquilized through the neck. He groans and falls unconscious into the trunk as Chaz shuts him in.

Chaz: Sorry, babe! You're not the only junk in my trunk! *realizes* Damn it, that was not a good one!

The next next day. Alessio is filling Crimson's mug with coffee. Chaz goes to sit in a seat with another filled mug of coffee, but Crimson gestures him to sit at the other side of the table. Moxxie and Millie walk in.

Crimson: Hey, hey! The man of the hour. You ready to get started?

Millie: Wait, where's Blitzo?

Chaz: I think I saw him head outside he said something about *trying and failing to mimic Blitzo's voice* needing some fresh air. (back to normal) Or something. Pfft.

Crimson: Why don't you grab him so we can get moving?

Millie: Be right back, baby.

She kisses Moxxie on the cheek and leaves.

Crimson: What ya looking so glum for, kid? It's your wedding day, the best day of ya life.

Moxxie: *sits down* I'm not doing it.

Crimson: What was that? I couldn't make it out over the sound of you being a whiny bitch.

Moxxie: *slams the table with both hands* I said I'm not doing it, sir. I've spent my whole life being afraid of you, but I'm not giving up the only good thing I've ever had just so you can keep your fragile little sense of control over everything. Millie is a good woman, a better woman than I deserve, and there's nothing that scares me more than hurting her.

While Moxxie is standing up to his father, Crimson silently signals Alessio to shut Moxxie up

Moxxie: Not even you. I'm leaving, Dad! And if you or Herpes the Clown over here—

Chaz: (offended) Hey!

Moxxie: Try to stop me, you'll learn firsthand just how good I've gotten at my job.

[Moxxie is face-to-face with Crimson now. Alessio comes from behind him and tases Moxxie in the neck. Moxxie groans and falls forward unconscious. He hits his head on the table and then falls to the floor.

Crimson: Now, take care of the others.

Rayden hops into the kitchen with his leg and non-metal arm slack with plague doctor following

Rayden: ok i gotta find a way to expel this *starts rummaging through the fridge pulling out orange juice, anchovies, pepper and propane*

Plague doctor: ok the choices are disgusting but it should get rid of the poison

Rayden pours all the ingredients into his mouth and swishes them around for a minute before swallowing them

Rayden convulses a bit releasing a cloud of sparkly grey mist from his mouth

Rayden: hm detox is most pleasing to the lungs

Plague doctor: your biology scares me sometimes

The scene cuts to Millie searching the carpark outside Crimson's mansion, confused and worried as she hasn't found Blitzo. She hears a bang coming from Chaz's trunk and opens it with her knife to see Blitzo dazed inside, still a little out of it.

Blitzo: *groggily* Oh, Millie, you found me. Who's your friend?

Millie: Friend?

She senses two goons attempting to grab her. She stabs one with her knife and beheads the other using the trunk door, much to Blitzo's surprise.

 

The scene cuts to the back garden where a makeshift wedding is set up. Crim has Moxxie in a wedding dress with his hands bound behind his back with rope and his mouth gagged with duct tape.

Elder Jaws: Is everyone here?

Crimson: Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. Let's get this thing rolling, ey?

Moxxie: (mouth behind duct tape) Mmmph!

Chaz: Awww, you told me all the chairs would be filled!

Crimson sighs and presses a button which causes dildos with smiley faces in tuxedos to pop out of all of the seats, including the two that has goons sitting on them.

Crimson: Satisfied?

Chaz: Oh, fuck yes!

Cut back to the car park. Millie pulls Blitzo out of the trunk, holding him up to support him.

Millie: What's goin' on?

Blitzo: *groggily* That seductive dick-hole is trying to marry Moxxie, and he's not even rich!

Millie: *panicked* Moxxie!

Millie runs to the front door. Suddenly metal shutters block off all doors and exit the house, including the front gate to the estate. We cut back to the wedding, where the priest is reading the wedding vows and Moxxie unsuccessfully tries to scream for help.

Elder Jaws: Do you, Chazwick Thurman, take Moxxie Knolastname to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Chaz: Oh, yeah.

Elder Jaws: And do you, Moxxie... whatever, take Chazwick Thurman to be your lawfully wedded-- Uh...

Moxxie tries to pull away and almost escapes until Crimson pulls him back. Crimson forces Moxxie to face the priest and forcibly nods his head.

Crimson: Look at that! He's just so fucking happy to be here!

Back outside.

Millie: *panicking* Everything's locked down! How are we gonna get in?

Blitzo feels around the jacket until he finds Chaz's car keys. He grabs Millie and pulls her to his car and opens the door to climb in the driver's seat. Millie then goes into the passenger seat. Blitzo turns the car and its radio on, which begins to immediately play "Loo Loo Land" on the Mammon Channel™, to which he stops putting his seat belt on to find a different song, which then cycles to Station 69 which is playing "Vacay to Bonetown". Blitzo keeps changing the channel until he gets to Wrath's #1 "F*ck you up" Hits, which begins to play "Crashin' a muthafukin' Wedding".

Blitzo: Buckle up, Millie... we're doing a Shrek!

The car suddenly backpedals. Back at the wedding, Chaz and Moxxie are about to kiss when Blitzo crashes the car through the wall to the wedding scene and steps out dazed.

Blitzo: *groggily* I object! *faceplants on the ground*

Millie steps out of the car and slides in a pose.

Millie: You want my husband? You're going to have to fucking kill me!

Crimson groans and snaps his fingers, ordering his goons to kill Millie. The goons all stand up to face her and Millie lunges toward them. She begins slaughtering the goons with ease, tearing out the skull, jaw, and spinal column of different goons, and spits out the still-beating heart of another. Millie then begins fighting off four other goons with her knife.

Crimson: (angrily) What the FUCK? She's a dame!

He spots a goon hanging from the altar in a noose made from another's intestines and throws him towards Millie.

Crimson: She's a BROAD! Kill her!

An explosion occurs at the front

When the smoke clears rayden and the plague doctor stand holding vacuum type devices

Rayden: hello

Plague doctor: hi

The devices shoot out a blue gas causing all the sharks to cough out blood and bleed out from the eyes before succumbing to death

Rayden: What is this stuff anyway?

Plague doctor: shark repellent

Millie continues her rampage and impales several goons on the dildo poles.

Crimson: You frigging goons! What the fuck is the matter with you? Why do I pay you!? Get them! You stupid idiots! Go get 'er!

One of the few surviving goons get elbow dropped in the skull by Millie, killing the goon who was placed inside the former's jaws. Millie then ties the goon up behind Chaz's car and gets dragged throughout the venue, destroying all the chairs. Millie prepares to crash the altar with the car before she brings the car to a halt, crushing the goon's skull.

Rayden drops the vacuum and pulls out a tommy gun and begins firing on the goons. He then rips the jaw bone out of one of the sharks before tossing it at another goons head making it snap on him like a bear trap

As Millie leaves the car and angrily approaches the altar, a goon tries to suckerpunch her, but Millie knocks him out. She whips her tail and glares daggers at Crimson, who begrudgingly allows her to take Moxxie. She grabs Moxxie and hoists him over her shoulder.

Chaz: Hey! What about my—?!

Millie shoves a dildo down his throat, to which he chokes.

Millie: This ass is MINE!

She slaps Moxxie's rear, causing him to blush slightly.

Rayden: So doctor, give you a lift back up?

Plague doctor: i'll have to decline i have some business to finish here

Rayden: very well *tips his hat to her* happy hunting

Rayden starts to walk away

Plague doctor: i must say blackveil i was wrong you've changed a tad bit

Rayden: hm?

Plague doctor: your a lot more chummier with these rabblers then you were with us it looks good on you

Rayden: you're inhaling too many herbs i don't treat them any different than you people

Blitzo: By the way, y'all should probably know, [Millie grabs and carries him with Moxxie] Chaz isn't even rich, okay? Check his car, (Crimson's eyes slightly widen) he just played you like a fucking rube! Later, losers! *flips them the bird*

I.M.P hop the destroyed fence and takes a waiting helicopter while throwing Chaz's car keys on the ground. The helicopter flies away with a banner saying "WE'RE Married BITCH" over the original words "Got Married" using blood and extra taped fabric. While Chaz is trying to dislodge the dildo, Crimson slowly turns to glare at him.

Chaz pulls the dildo out of his mouth and sees an angry Crimson glaring at him, nervously shrugging and laughing.

Plague doctor: so boys...

The pair turn to the doctor visibly afraid as she puts on a glove with syringes on it's fingertips

Plague doctor: you were never gonna pay me...i believe you know the penalty for that

Chaz: now baby-

She jabs the glove into chaz as his flesh dissolves off his body in an agonizing way before turning to a frightened crimson looming over him as the lens of her goggles glow red in the dark

Plague doctor: don't worry this'll only hurt...a lot

 

 

Cut back to I.M.P where the helicopter arrives; Loona, sitting in the same chair as the day before and gives an angry shrug.

Blitzo, Moxxie, rayden, and Millie disembark the helicopter, which quickly crashes. Moxxie hugs Millie.

Moxxie: Millie, thank you for saving me. You're amazing.

Millie: *smiles* Next time, just tell me if your dad is a psychopath --- I can handle it.

Blitzo: Well, I'm glad everything ended up okay. Good to know we both have daddy issues, Mox. *ruffles Moxxie's hair* Also, I got to plow your ex-boyfriend; isn't that great? Now we ALL fucked the same guy. *hugs Moxxie and Millie tightly*

Rayden: and i thought my relatives for fucked up

 

Scene cuts back to Crimson's mansion. He walks in the lounge room with an IV line next to him and a respirator mask on his face to deal with whatever the doctor did to him.

he places the torn-out jaw of Chaz on his trophy wall , Crimson then growls angrily and throws a dagger at his family portrait, the knife landing squarely on a young Moxxie's forehead.

 

Chapter 20: Western Energy

The scene begins at the "Richest Cup Café, where the poor pour for you!", where Stella and Stolas are sipping tea, giving each other glares while Stella's brothers Aamon and Andrealphus, look on.

Stella: Stolas.

Stolas: Stella.

Aamon: *whispering* betcha a 20 Stella calls him a c***

Andrealphus: *whispering* I think she'll call him a c***sucker

Stella: C***.

Stolas: Witch.

Andrealphus: Aurgh!

Andrealphus begrudgingly slides a 20 dollar bill to aamon which he accepts smugly

Stella: *slams hands on table, gets up* FUCKISH. IMP. SUCKER!

Stolas: Why did you insist on meeting me here?

Aamon: we never need to pay for refills here...and they let me smoke *breathes blue smoke*

Andrealphus: *coughs* I'd prefer if you didn't do it regardless

Aamon: oh? Do my hobbies offend you wittle brother? ...Honestly do you think I give a fuck?

Andrealphus: *smugly* of course not I suppose nowadays you only care for those chemicals that'll decay your tail feathers.

Aamon: they could fall off and I'd still have a prouder display than you

Andrealphus tensed up at the comment

Aamon: what? Still jealous our parents good genes passed to me while you got the defects?

Andrealphus: at least I don't have a crippling physical disability and I have the goetic skills to make up for it instead of shameful visible signs of failure *taps aamons gold beak*

Aamon also tensed at that remark

Aamon: second born...second rate...second choice

The brothers glare at each other angrily

Stella: as much as I enjoy seeing you both verbally assault one another can we remember the reason for this?

A tiny imp server pours tea for Stolas. Stolas looks at his phone that says: "Reminder: Deal @ Ozzie's set".

Andrealphus: Ahem! Anyway we wanted to properly discuss the terms of this divorce. I feel my darling sister deserves a bit more...compensation. After all, you did CHEAT on the poor thing. Surely, you owe-

Stolas: Andrealphus, cheating implies there was a betrayal. This woman never gave two shits about me or our very much arranged marriage. As far as I'm concerned, this divorce is far overdue.

Aamon was not at all enjoying being present for the discussion but it was nice to see stolas stand up for himself now and then

The imp server pours tea for Stolas, who shooes it away

Stella: Up yours! *flips Stolas off*

Andrealphus: *groans* Stellaaa, for fuck's sake, stop making this harder to bullshit!

Suddenly a figure bursts through the window landing on a table.

Na'mall

He wears black leather coat and a Japanese demon mask over the lower half of his face

His eyes lock on stolas and he throws some kunai blades at him

One blade hits the window near Stolas' head. Stella grins evilly at Stolas as he dodges more kunai

The man charges towards him holding two more kunai

Aamon gets in front of stolas taking off his metal gloves in order to Midas touch na'mall

Na'mall is inches from aamons fingers but bends backwards underneath his hand with unnatural speed surprising aamon

Na'mall throws the kunai upwards through aamons fingers ripping them off and pinning them to the ceiling

Aamon stands frozen in shock before staring down at his 4 digit lacking bleeding hand

Aamon:........AAAAAAAAAGH!!! *clutches bleeding hand* FUCK!! FUCK MY FUCKING HAND!!

Na'mall then spin kicks aamon in the chest and into a wall knocking him out

Stella ran to her brothers side.

She'd intended stolas to receive every torture imaginable but never for her brother to get caught in the crossfire

na'mall turns his focus back to stolas attempting to charge tackle him only for stolas to fly out of the way and then out toward the exit.

na'mall wraps Stolas in glowing white rope before he can escape. Stolas falls to the ground in an alley

He's then turned over to meet a katana pointed at his face

Na'mall: Stolas Goetia. I'm here to kill you, Is this a bad time?

Stolas: Oh, dear...this is worrisome.

The scene changes to na'mall placing stolas' tied up body onto bombproof with striker on the saddle

Striker: heh precise as always

Na'mall: just get him to wrath...I'll meet you there. And striker?

Striker: what?

Na'mall: remember his head is mine to take

Striker nervously nods before riding off

 

 

The scene cuts to Blitzo driving the I.M.P van, with Rayden, Moxxie and Millie in the back and a fearful Loona next to Blitzo.

Rayden: remind me how this counts as "not work"?

Blitzo: well given your bravery, stoicism and inability to feel any and possible words that could be inflicted by a terrified hellhound don't think of it as work but rather...a friendly favour!

Rayden: so I'm your meat shield if this goes south

Blitzo: now your getting it

Blitzo's phone lets out a bird ringtone.

Blitzo: Oh, shit. Stolas! It's really not a good time, buddy...

Stolas: I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy. But, umm...I seem to have found myself in a bit of a sitch. I'm tied to the back of a horse at the moment.

Blitzo: Pffttt...lucky bitch.

Rayden: blitz seriously get help

Stolas: Um, well, no. Rather unlucky. I seem to have been stolen by an assasin and that little cowboy friend of yours.

Blitzo: Ohh, which one?

Moxxie: How many cowboys do you know?

Rayden: I know 5 personally...bastards all of them

Moxxie: What does he look like, your highness?

Stolas glances up at Striker's grinning face as he rides his horse.

Stolas: Umm...sexy?

Moxxie: That's Striker, sir!

Rayden: please! That guy never had an ounce of sex appeal in his life.

Millie: And who's the helper?

Stolas: some asian gentleman dressed in black. very proficient with blades and such also rather fast

Rayden suddenly becomes more alert leaning in closer to the phone

Rayden: was he wearing a Japanese mask?

Stolas: why yes

Rayden:......shit. Sorry stolas you may be fucked

Stolas: pardon?

Moxxie: uh he didn't mean that

Rayden: oh I did. if that's who I think it is best start making a will

Blitzo: Oh, for fuck's sake! Can't you just get away? Aren't you powerful?

Stolas: I believe he has bound me with blessed rope, which limits my ability to free myself, I'm afraid. So, I think you should come save me.

Blitzo: Oh, shit. Stolas, I can't today, alright? I'm sorry. I-I'm literally on my way to take Loona in for her very important Hellbies s-h-o-t.

Blitzo glances nervously at a frightened Loona.

Blitzo: It takes years to book an appointment at this place, it took five to get this one. So, you know- eh, and she's been doing a lot of field work. So, you know, she needs it.

Stolas: Oh, ha, ha. Well, I do agree that is very important...But, I-

Striker: Would you shut up already? I can hear you, by the way.

Striker swipes Stolas's cell phone with his tail.

Striker: Don't worry about your lanky birdy...he's in good hands. *crushes the phone and laughs*

Stolas: Oh, shit. Am I in danger right now?

Blitzo: Gaaagh, damn it!

Blitzo breaks his phone in his hand. He moves the clutch forward and the can speeds down the highway.

Millie: Sir, let me and Moxxie handle this one.

Blitzo: Okay, are you sure you two got this alone?

Moxxie: We can do it, sir. Together, we are a lethal combo. And we both have a score to settle with that dickhead.

Millie places a cowboy hat onto Moxxie's head.

Rayden: I'm coming too

Blitzo: WHAT?! No you're my deterrent!! In case loony freaks out over the...thing

Rayden: if these two are going up against who I think is helping striker alone he'll wipe the floor with them with no effort. Plus I wanna try my hand at striker again myself.

Blitzo: well uh as your boss I-

Rayden: I'm using vacation time.

Blitzo: *mumbling* damn legally binding contract! Alright. Well, hurry. Stolas sounds like he might be in real shit this time.

Blitzo pulls up to the tall St. An's Hospital main building.

Blitzo: And knowing that guy's aesthetic, my money's that he's in Wrath.

Blitzo drops the car keys into Moxxie's hand, as Blitzo pulls Loona out of the van and carries her over his head.

Blitzo: Now, get your asses down there and look for some cowboy crap or something.

Moxxie drives the van away.

Blitzo: Come on, Loonie. Come on, this will be over lickety-split, alright?

Blitzo pushes the door open and drags Loona inside by her tail. Loona scratches at the floor, hesitant to go in.

Blitzo: Christ on a stick! Of all the days for him to get his stupid feathered-ass kidnapped...I have waited five fucking years for this appointment! FUCK ME IN MY LITTLE RED HOLE!

Blitzo glances over to a demon mother glaring at him. Her son is next to her on a leash.

Blitzo: Hi. The fuck you looking at?

Blitzo walks up to the desk toward a baphomet nurse.

Blitzo: Heya, toots. I'm here for that S-H-O-T for my Loonie Toonie. *laughs*

Loona growls from behind. A nearby poster shows a hound with a needle in its back that reads "Get yours today or else!"

Nurse: (confused) The what?

Blitzo: Urgh. *grabs clipboard* The B-U-L-L shit that my daughter has to get every year that you M-O-T-H-E-R fuckers only allow us to schedule every five years. How the fuck you fuck up that bad, anyway, titty-haver?

Blitzo writes down his name on the clipboard's paper.

Nurse: Oh, I can't spell.

Blitzo pushes the clipboard to her.

Nurse: I can't read, either.

Blitzo: The fucking Hellbies shot you fucking re-allly can't say that word anymore. The appointment is under Blitzo.

The nurse flips through a notebook full of appointments.

Nurse: Uhhhm... I don't see any Blitz on the list.

Blitzo: With an "o", it's silent, you fucking...

The nurse flips the notebook over.

Nurse: OH! An "o" right here. Yep, yep! Blitzoooo, Blitzooo.

Blitzo's eye twitches and he seethes in anger.

Nurse: Yes, well. We will be ready for her in just a bit. Please take a seat, Mr. O.

Blitzo reveals his pistol hidden in his shirt and the demon mother glares at him in suspicion. Blitzo chuckles nervously.

Blitzo: Perf.

Blitzo walks over and takes a seat with his arms folded.

Blitzo glances at Loona who is whimpering in fear under three chairs.

Blitzo: Oh, don't worry, Loonie. It's okay, it's just one little prick, you won't feel it.

Mother: Ew, don't say that, it sounds vulgar.

Blitzo: Excuse me?

Mother: Pervert!

 

 

The next scene cuts to Striker galloping on his horse with Stolas tied up behind him, as the cowboy's theme song begins.

Striker: *enraged* SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M TRYIN' TO DO MY FUCKING JOB! YOU COMIN' IN HERE SINGING ABOUT ME FOR THE MILLIONTH FUCKIN' TIME! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, YA FREAKS!

The terrified mariachi imps quietly ride away in the cart, disappearing into the darkness of the mine

Stolas: How does one get their own theme song?

Na'mall appears out of nowhere

Na'mall: some things are better left unsaid

Striker: wha- how'd you get here so fast?

Na'mall: skills. Now shall we begin?

 

Back to Blitzo in the waiting room.

Blitzo: Soooo, nice weather we're having, huh?

Boy: *points to Blitzo* Look, mommy! They let fire toads in here!

Blitzo: The fuck did you just call me?

Mother: (to her son) It's not polite to call them that to their face, honey. Wait until we're in the car.

Blitzo: You got a problem with me, c***?

Mother: *gasps* There is a child present, you filthy Wrathian!

Blitzo: Oh, I am not from Wrath, bitch. Also, my kid's here, too, and I don't think she would appreciate you calling her father..."things".

Mother: *turns to the nurse* Is there any way we can reschedule for a time when less of the unemployed rabble are out?

Blitzo: Oh, please. I bet the hardest work you've ever done is convincing your husband that little shit's his.

Blitzo points to the boy whose eyes start to water.

Mother: Oh, yeah? And what do you do that's so important?

Blitzo: Me? Oh, I kill people. How does a two for one special sound, whore?

Blitzo pulls out his flintlock pistol and points it at her.

Nurse: Mr. O, the doc will see your hound now.

Blitzo strangles the mother and the boy with his arm and then shoves them to the floor. He brushes off his suit and carries Loona into the room, blowing a raspberry behind him.

 

The next scene shows Moxxie and Millie pulling up to a gas station in the desert.

Moxxie: Crumbs! I'll grab the gas. Millie, you and rayden go and see if anyone's seen Striker anywhere.

Millie, rayden and Moxxie get out of the van as a biker gang pulls up. The bikers notice Moxxie.

Biker: Hey, queer boy! You stealin' my hat?

Moxxie: What?

Biker: Same hat.

Moxxie: Oh, sorry. My wife just put this hat on my head. You know, because it was...hot...outside...

The biker gets into Moxxie's face.

Biker: *angrily* Saaame. Haaat.

Moxxie: *sighs* So, we're doing this, huh?

Millie: hey rayden?

Rayden: mm?

Millie: this other hitman you sound like you know him

Rayden: yeah. Na'mall Osore. second deadliest killer in hell

Millie: well...what's he like?

Rayden: he's like me but asian

Millie: oh...that bad?

Rayden: he might've been the only person in the old days I may have liked taught me Japanese and a few sword skills. They called him the oni back on earth

Millie: isn't oni Japanese for demon?

Rayden: he is a demon among demons. His specialty was demon nobility targets, he'd make one body look like a massacre

Millie now felt a bit more worried about what they were walking into. She notices the mariachis

Millie: *spots the mariachi band* Howdy, boys! Y'all seen this motherfucker riding around here?

Millie shows the band a drawing of Striker firing a gun. Moxxie is seen fighting the bikers in the background.

Quartet: ♫ He's galloping- ♫

Rayden: No, NO! No singing!

Millie: Just a yes or no, please.

Quartet member 2: Yeah, he lives out by the Badman Lands, in the old train tunnel near the mine shafts. Very outlaw aesthetic, ya can't miss it.

Moxxie rides on the biker leader's back and slams the biker's head on the door. He slams the biker's head through one of the van windows. He swipes his credit card before avoiding the biker's attacks. He takes the gas nozzle and wraps the hose around the biker's throat, then pulls the biker down, puts the nozzle in the tank and leans against the van with his phone.

Millie: Thank you, kindly. Come on, Mox! We got a lead!

Moxxie, Rayden and Millie get back into the van. Moxxie speeds forward, taking off the biker's head and exploding the gas station. The roof falls to the side.

 

The scene cuts back to Striker's hideout where he's tied up Stolas upside down on some railroad tracks. Stolas opens his eyes and spots Striker nearby using a whetstone to sharpen a Blessed Knife while na'mall sat on a rock watching stolas

Stolas: So, my wife paid you for this, hmm? Wouldn't a holy bullet have sufficed? Or can you not afford those?

Na'mall: him being able to afford dying is strange in itself

Striker: we were paid to give you the real royal treatment; your wife must REALLY hate you. *chuckles*

Stolas: You have no idea. *looks around* So. Train tracks? Really? Seems a bit clichéd, doesn't it?

Striker: It's a classic.

Na'mall groans bored

Stolas: Is the giant statue of yourself also a 'classic' or...?

The camera shifts up to a statue in front of Striker that has him grinning with a giant erection.

Striker: *pissed off and throws the whetstone* Are you seriously judging me right now?

Stolas: I'm just impressed you seem to want to suck your own dick this badly.

Striker: Look. Not every ring is some fancy-ass city, with some fancy-ass mansion, that only fancy-ass royals get to live in. *advances towards Stolas* Some of us have hard lives to live. And some of us have everything we care about taken away by fuckers like you.

Stolas: I have no- AAAGH!

Striker stabs Stolas in the shoulder with the knife and then cuts him down.

Striker: YOU. Don't get to talk over me! *slaps Stolas with his tail* I don't have to listen to your bullshit! *jams his foot into Stolas's shoulder wound* All you royals ever do is try to talk over us!

Stolas tries to petrify Striker, but the rope prevents his powers from working.

Striker: Don't bother trying to use your little eye trick on me; those ropes ain't gonna let you do anything. Got somethin' to say about that? Your Highness? *steps on Stolas's open wound once again*

Stolas: Well, you seem to be forgetting; you are working for a royal right now! *Stolas kicks Striker in the face*

Striker grabs Stolas's ankle and Striker lift up his foot and stomp on Stolas's leg and breaks it.

Stolas : *grunts but doesn't show any pain* Blitzo handles me rougher than that in bed; nice try.

Put off by this, Striker stabs Stolas in the leg.

Stolas: Blitzy's knife is bigger... and hits sooooo much deeper.

Striker: *getting fed up* Being a smartass hmm? *grabs Stolas by the hair* Cause, once I split your neck open and let you choke on your own blue blood,*deployed his holy knife and threaten Stolas with it by the neck* you won't be worth any more than the tombstone you'll be buried under.

Stolas: Blitzy says far more dirtier things to me with much sharper objects at my throat.

Na'mall: hm perhaps I should meet this blitzy. I could get some notes

Angered with Stolas' refusal to give in, Striker throws him to the ground and storms away to sulk.

Stolas rolls over and sheds a few tears while hoping Blitzo saves him.

Na'mall approaches stolas staring down at him

Stolas: what trying to try your hand at torture now too?

Na'mall seems calm

Stolas: what stake do you have in this? You're not as invested as he is

Na'mall kicks stolas in the face hard

Na'mall: goetias make annoying sounds. You just listen ok?

Stolas: i-

Na'mall grabs stolas' throat and nerve strikes his vocal cords rendering him temporarily mute before punching him to the ground

Na'mall: you read much about the edo period of Japan? You'd like it. Feudalism at its prosperous every single part of life was dictated by those higher in status. *na'mall walks around stolas* nobles back then were gods to people like me their word was law. They took and took fueling their greed

He grabs stolas and throws him to the ground

Na'mall: and eventually...they took from me these men and their title shields thinking that it would protect them...

He kicks stolas across the ground

Na'mall: like you they were wrong

Na'mall pummels stolas making him cough out blood

Na'mall: there's no barrier, no spoken word, no magic that should stop me from taking whichever life I please.

Na'mall gras stolas' bruised face bringing it to his eye level

Na'mall: not for money, or pleasure or vengeance just because I can. It'd be a perfect equalizer if you think about it

Stolas tried to speak but couldn't find the strength

Na'mall: what? No taunting comeback?

Stolas spits on his face

Na'mall: hm. Well let's keep going maybe it'll come to you.

Na'mall pulls out a set of angelic needles

Na'mall: let me know if I hit a nerve I'd hate for you to miss the pain

 

Back at St. An's Hospital, Blitzo and Loona are inside the doctor's office.

Dr. Somna: Welcome, Bingo. And this must be Tuna.

Blitzo: Loona, yeah. And you can hurry up, please; she isn't a fan of shots. So, let's make this quick for all our sakes.

Dr. Somna: Oho! Come, now; it can't be that bad. I see hellhounds every day; there hasn't been one that has caused any issues.

The doctor pulls out a comically oversized syringe; Loona immediately growls and lunges at him. Blitzo quickly grabs the doctor and gets him out of the way. Loona howls soon after.

Blitzo: Yep, right there. Told you, dipshit.

 

The scene shifts to Andrealphus' mansion in the Pride Ring. Andrealphus and Stella are having tea and Andrealphus creates several ice cubes, stirring them into his drink.

Andrealphus: So, earlier. That assassin. *playfully* Was that yooouuu?

Stella: *in a singsong voice and smiling* Guuiilty. Yes, it was.

Andrealphus: You silly minx, you *giggles*. Though, you know, if your husband dies it won't turn out well for you.

Stella: He'll be dead; why wouldn't it?

Andrealphus: *somewhat concerned* Because, my dear sister, you've already produced an heir; when he dies, his duties, his possessions, his legions, it'll all pass to.... Via.

Stella absentmindedly continues to drink without acknowledging him.

Andrealphus: (annoyed) So, if you kill him, you would.... Hmm?

Stella: Laugh? Ha-

Andrealphus: *facepalms in anger* No, you stupid cow! You'd get nothing! Ugh... You're so lucky that you're attractive.

Stella: Well, what do you propose we do? He won't leave me anything willingly; he hates me almost as much as I hate him.

Andrealphus: Hmm. Well, this kind of situation is extremely unique; a Goetia has never behaved like this before. *stands up from his chair and walks behind Stella* But, with him alive, we have options. Opportunities.

Andrealphus: Think about it stolas has been assisting mastema for awhile now if he goes all the angels little dealings are in our hands. Without a goetic ally that abomination will degrade back to his proper place in hell leaving all he has ours for the taking.

Stella thought about that factor. Mastemas influence was a plague on nobility and costing them all power that they'd held for centuries. But what intrigued her was potentially getting aamons attention back on her.

Andrealphus: An eternity's a long time, my dear; I say we bide our time, and wait for our chance to... GAIN the upper hand.

Stella: *begins to pout and whine* Oohhhhhh, but I want him dead so badly!

Andrealphus: And he will be, in time, my fiery vixen. But, patience first; now, *hands her his customized phone* call off your mangy strays.

 

Back at Striker's hideout, Na'mall throws Stolas down with angelic needles jabbed in various parts of his body. Stolas is panting and whimpering in pain.

Striker: Well, this has been fun, but every good thing has to come to an end. *to na'mall* I think you can wrap it up now

Na'mall: hm

Na'mall draws his katana

Striker: Shame you won't see your kid, again.

Stolas: (angrily) Don't you dare breathe a word about my daughter.

Striker: Ohh. Finally hit a nerve, huh?

Stolas: I swear, if either you go near her, I will destroy you.

Na'mall: why? Because she's your blood investment?

Stolas: because she's my daughter...do I really need a reason to be concerned?

Na'mall seemed to stop for a moment

Na'mall:....a goetia who loves their child...hm...suppose your death will be honourable after all

Na'mall raises the katana preparing to behead stolas

Na'mall: 死は祝福される (translation: blessed is death)

As Striker watches na'mall bring the blade down he hears his phone ringing.

Striker: WAIT

Na'mall stops the strike with the blade inches from stolas' neck groaning in annoyance

Striker: Hello?

Stella: (over the phone) Change of plans, darling. I need the prick alive.

Na'mall hears this and looks toward striker

Striker: we're kinda in the middle of killing him.

Stella: (over the phone) Well, stop it. We need him alive to get some affairs in order. I'll pay you more to spare him and bring him to us.

Na'mall marches over and grabs the phone

Na'mall: no that's not how this works

Stella: (over the phone) I beg your pardon?

Na'mall: you hired assassins to kill this guy and that's exactly whats going to happen

Stella: (over the phone) THEN YOUR FEE IS GONE DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOU'RE FUCKING WITH?! I'M-

Na'mall: nothing to me. Just another corpse I haven't gotten to yet

He then crushes the phone and begins walking back towards stolas katana in hand

Striker: Hey!! What the fuck was that?! You just blew my payday!! You stupid-

Na'mall grabs strikers throat

Na'mall: LET ME DO MY JOB!! You brought me in and we're gonna play this out until the end...after that you better make yourself scarce because if I see you or even hear you again...it won't be over quick

He tosses a frightened striker across the ground before repositioning himself to kill stolas

Na'mall: if it's ay consolation I'm definitely killing your wife after this

Before he can strike his sword is shot out of his hands by gunfire

Na'mall: finally...I almost thought you weren't coming reaper.

A car horn is heard in the distance; Striker gets up and growls while looking for the source. Parts of the cavern ceiling begin to give away and the I.M.P van breaks through, tumbling down an embankment and as the van comes to a rest, the door opens with Moxxie, millie and rayden jumping out geared up

Rayden: kindly step away from the bird

na'mall: oh come now rayden is that any way to greet an old friend? No bow of respect or simple hello?

Rayden: please you know me better than that

Na'mall: heh true. Though I must say I'm relieved your death was *glares at striker* exaggerated

Striker gets to his feet but keeps his distance from the two raging assassins

Na'mall: though seeing you working with imps...seems you dropped your standards

Moxxie/Millie: HEY!

Rayden: seems the same can be said about you

Na'mall: hm that's fair

Na'mall twirls his katana in hand

Na'mall: so...years since we last crossed blades and bathed in our blood...and you think these imps will last against me?

Moxxie: oh I think we'll manage

Moxxie fires a shot at na'mall only for him to move with godlike speed using his katana to slice the bullet perfectly in half

Na'mall: cute

In a visible grey blur na'mall charges at rayden with his blade

Rayden barely has time to react using his metal rm to block the strike as na'mall propels the two of them out of view

Moxxie: so should we help or?

Millie: maybe just let them have it out

The two turn their attention back to striker and moxxie opens fire on striker

The latter dodges several bullets and throws his knife into the rifle, causing another bullet to ricochet around the cavern and strike a nearby boom box that begins playing. As Striker pulls out two revolvers, Millie attacks him with a longsword from behind; Striker takes the sword and Millie charges with a katana while Moxxie attacks as well with two revolvers of his own. All three fight to a standstill and the long sword breaks, with the tip landing in the boombox. Striker is surprised by the song it switches to, but quickly disregards it as Moxxie and Millie double team him with a battle axe.

Rayden crashes through rocks and lands on his back. Na'mall comes from the air bringing his sword down.

Rayden rolls out of the way bringing out his own sword. He heaves it at na'mall only for him to deflect the strike before unleashing a barrage of slashes on rayden which he continuously blocks

The scene switches several times between Striker fighting Moxxie and Millie with Blitzo and the Doc trying to give Loona her shot.

The doctor ends up getting slammed into a bin of used needles, screaming in pain

Striker kicks Moxxie down and pins Millie to a rock with her axe. He notices Moxxie still moving and lassos a nearby stalagmite and slams it into Moxxie's back.

Rayden and na'mall continue trading sword strikes sometimes managing small cuts on each other but nothing lethal. They lock blades at close proximity staring into each others eyes applying warrior levels of force against their swords so much their feet make cracks in the ground. The force eventually pushes them apart

Na'mall steadies himself and then begins throwing kunai at rayden knocking his sword away

Na'mall: my skills were always a match for yours...but how about we try and bridge the gap?

Na'malls katana suddenly glows with Japanese writing before igniting in fire. He makes slashes in the air propelling fire strikes at rayden which he runs dodging

Loona is pinned to the ground by Blitzo who motions to Dr. Somna to give her the shot. The doctor hurriedly sticks the shot in Loona's rear, causing her to howl in pain and rage, and bucks Blitzo off her, creating a small crater on the clinic floor.

Na'mall continues slashing fire at rayden. Rayden runs by his katana grabbing it before jumping against a rock wall launching himself at na'mall sword at the ready.

Na'mall slashes upwards making a wall of flame.

Rayden passes through the flame unbothered

Na'mall positions his sword ready to strike

They collide making a cloud of dust that obscures everything

Striker: *sees Moxxie reaching for his pistol* Oh, I remember how easy you are to choke the life out of, little one.

Moxxie: (weakly) Ohhhh, harder.

Striker immediately gets up, disgusted. Moxxie then kicks Striker's legs out from under him and lassos Striker by the neck, spinning him around and throws him to the ground.

Moxxie: You cowboy piece of shit!

As Striker aims a revolver at Moxxie, Millie frees herself and strikes the base of his statue. Striker looks up to see it falling towards him; he tries to move out of the way, but the statue lands on top of him. As Moxxie approaches it, the smoke clears to see that Striker is gone.

Moxxie: Fuck.

He looks towards Millie and sees her with an unconscious Stolas. They both looked worried about the injured unconscious Prince.

Moxxie: Oh, crumbs! We've got to get him to a hospital!

The scene changes back to rayden and na'mall who stand in front of each other with blood on their faces

It is revealed both their swords have impaled the others shoulder

Na'mall: heheh...god I've missed this

Rayden: I'll admit I have as well..

Na'mall: this place it puts people like us at the top...hardly feel anything anymore. No one but each other can allow us to go all out

Rayden: and everyone else just acts like a chain...we're prisoners of our own power

Na'mall: hm...it's tiring isn't it?

Rayden: oh yes.

They both pull their dripping blades out.

Na'mall: *sigh* well best be on your way I imagine striker failed to handle the imps and the prince is secured

Rayden: imps are a lot more competent then we think we just kept a bad one around too long.

Na'mall: too long indeed.

Na'mall starts to walk away

Na'mall: ....you know I'll probably go after that family again right?.

Rayden: I know...and I'll be ready

Na'mall: 別れ (translation: farewell)

Na'mall throws a smoke bomb disappearing

Rayden: さようなら友よ (translation: farewell my friend)

Rayden then heads for the others

 

 

As a group of reporters stand outside St. An's, Blitzo and Loona emerge (with the former being beaten up and scratched and the latter with a cone around her neck and holding a lollipop). Moxxie, Rayden and Millie pull up to the front

Blitzo: Oh, good. You guys actually managed to-

A horde of medical personnel and reporters trample Blitzo as they rush to the van. Two Plague Doctors opened the van door and it switches to Millie looking worried as the two plague doctors put Stolas on the stretcher. Blitzo gets trample again when they wheeled Stolas inside. Blitzo sees a passing look at Stolas' tail feathers as they pass by.

Moxxie: Sir, are you alright?

Blitzo: (confused) Oh, peachy. Yeah, no. Today has been wonderful; *points to the hospital doors* what the fuck was THAT about?

Millie: Stolas got hurt, bad.

Blitzo: (shocked and worried) Stolas got what? How?... He can get hurt?

Rayden: *surprised* that wasn't common knowledge?

As Stolas is in a hospital room recovering from his injuries. A heart monitor was beeping and he is surrounded by many plants; have an IV bag next to him showing blood being transferred into him. Stolas has bandages wrapped around his chest and right arm in a big cast and sling. His left leg is in a cast and propped up in a sling and right thigh is bandaged up. He also has a scar on the right side of his face.

Stolas hears his phone buzzing and sees a notification from Blitzo, the former starts scrolling through their prior conversations.

Stolas: I'M SORRY IF ANYTHING I SAID OR DID MAY HAVE OFFENDED YOU TONIGHT.

Blitzo: ITZ WUTEVS

Stolas: NEXT TIME YOU COME OVER, MAYBE WE CAN TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AT OZZIE'S?

Blitzo: Y?

Stolas: I'M SORRY! NEVERMIND, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. I WAS JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU. YOU SEEMED VERY UPSET AND YOU TOOK OFF SO FAST. BUT MAYBE I READ TOO MUCH INTO THAT, I'M GLAD IF THAT'S NOT THE CASE. I WASN'T UPSET EITHER, I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU WEREN'T AND OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN HANDLE ANY STUPID JOKE A CLOWN CAN MAKE. ASMODEUS CAN BE VERY INVASIVE IN HIS HUMOR, BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY MYSELF. WHAT HE SAID ABOUT ME AT LEAST, I ENJOY BEING THE SUBJECT OF JEST. MAYBE YOU CAN SAY MEAN THINGS TO ME TOO NEXT TIME YOU COME OVER.

Stolas: IF YOU WANT?

Blitzo: SHUR

Stolas: THANKS FOR HELPING ME WITH VIA TODAY, YOU WERE GREAT IN THAT HUMAN SHOW.

Blitzo: NP

Stolas: ARE YOU COMING OVER TONIGHT WITH THE BOOK?

Blitzo: LYKE OLWAYS

Stolas: IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE COMING, THAT'S OK! I'M SURE I CAN DO WITHOUT IT FOR ONE MONTH. :)

Blitzo: K

Stolas: DO YOU PLAN TO VISIT TOMORROW? I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN BUSY, AND WORKING HARD. MAYBE IF YOU'D PREFER, WE CAN SKIP THE BEDROOM AND JUST RELAX, MAYBE? I'M SURE YOU NEED A BREAK.

Blitzo: WUTEVR YOU WANT, ITS UR NIGHT

Stolas: IF YOU'RE NOT UP FOR IT, OR TOO TIRED, THAT'S PERFECTLY FINE. NO PRESSURE, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING WITH THE GRIMOIRE TILL NEXT MONTH.

Blitzo: MAE BEE

Stolas: MAYBE INSTEAD OF OUR USUAL ARRANGEMENT ON THE FULL MOON WE COULD PROPERLY CATCH UP THIS WEEK? MAYBE MONDAY?

Blitzo: I MITE B BSUY

Stolas: I WOULDN'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU!

Stolas: YOU CAN ALWAYS DROP OFF THE BOOK ON THE FULL MOON AND I CAN LEAVE IT FOR YOU IF YOU ARE TOO TIRED TO DO ANYTHING...

Stolas: BUT, I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU.

Blitzo: K

Blitzo: GIT BEVVER SWOON :(

He weakly smiles when Blitzo sends a get well soon message.

Stolas: THANK YOU, BLITZ, THAT MEANS A LOT. I MIGHT BE HERE FOR A WHILE, IF YOU EVER WANT TO VISIT.💜

After responding that Blitzo's free to visit while he's recovering, Stolas sees Blitzo typing a message but does not send it. His smile fades as he dejectedly puts his phone down and rolls over as several flower petals slowly fall on his nightstand as the prince falls asleep.

 

 

The scene changes to another hospital room only this one belongs to aamon.

Having lost four of it's fingers His right hand was in a cast while he was laying on a bed suffering a broken rib and a severe concussion

Stella made sure the doctors would ensure he'd be out of there in a day or two or else risk untold pain.

But aamon liked the quiet. It gave him time to think

He grabbed his phone and noticed some texts that made him sullen

Vassago: (text) ARE YOU OK?

Vassago: (text) I HEARD YOU WERE NEARLY KILLED

Vassago: (text) PLEASE JUST TALK TO ME

Vassago: (text) STOLAS TOLD ME YOU'RE USING THOSE CHEMICALS MORE

Vassago: (text) YOU KNOW YOU CAN TELL ME IF YOU'RE HAVING ISSUES RIGHT?

He then gets a call which he answers

Aamon: hello?......yeah I'm fine....no I'll be out in time. The others are still on board with it too. Though how you're going to convince them is a you problem....no I'll handle my siblings they won't know.....alright.

Aamon ends the call and sighs

Part of him wished the assassin had killed him.

 

Chapter 21: An oni among demons

A crowded street of imp city is buzzing about with imps and sinners of all kinds of professions. Hitmen, crime lords, bartenders

 

As a footstep echos through the street as they turn to see Na’mall

 

Everyone parts a pathway for the assassin as he slowly walks through 

 

As he does a jingling can be heard underneath his jacket

 

Everyone could guess what it was.

 

The sounds of beaks and bones from nobility clanging together in a deathly melody

 

The sinners couldn’t fathom how many he had strung together and they feared to ask

 

 

 

Na’mall had a weekly routine of sorts

 

Every Friday he’d walk down to the sole Japanese tea shop in all hell.

 

The shop itself was an extremely peaceful, the only reason it survived for so long in the city

 

Was because na’mall was it’s only customer

 

He arrived at the shop and lit some incense 

 

The owner haruto who was a kind of koi fish demon comes out to the front

 

He and na’mall both bow to each other before stepping aside gesturing to a room in the back

 

Na’mall walks in and pulls a string closing the entrance with a curtain

 

In the room is a table with a teapot and cup

 

Na’mall kneels at the table and removes his mask at the bottom of the table along with his sword

 

He gently grabs the teapot and pours himself a cup of green tea before setting the pot down gently

 

He brings the cup to his lips and lightly sips the liquid

 

What made na’mall so feared was his philosophy of killing whoever because he could

 

But that wasn’t the full truth

 

 

 

 

FLASHBACK

 

 

A younger na’mall is seen in a garden in the pouring rain practising his sword strikes in mid air

 

Wakana: you practice so needlessly my son

 

Na’mall halts his practice

 

Na’mall: practice is never needless. If a sword is not sharpened properly it will break eventually

 

Wakana: well finish your practice. The shoguns samurai can wait

 

Na’mall sheaths his sword

 

 

Inside na’mall is kneeling at a side of a table

 

A woman dressed in a beautiful red kimono walks in a kneels next to him

 

Akie: do you like it?

 

Na’mall: it suits you yes

 

Akie: is that all?

 

Na’mall: it’s all I can muster for my sister

 

Akie: come on. No exotic opinions?

 

Na’mall: you resemble the colour of blood. How’s that?

 

Akie: all that practice is making you less enjoyable

 

Na’mall: I’m stating an honest opinion 

 

Akie: *giggles*

 

A man followed by Wakana kneels at the front of the table

 

Rokuro: fortune has smiled upon our family my children

 

The siblings lean in curious to know what their father means

 

Rokuro: one of the princes inner circle has selected our dear Akie as his bride

 

Akie/Na’mall: what?

 

Rokuro: yes lord Fujiwara took quite a liking to you during his visit. He’s set to escort you to his dwelling in 2 days

 

na’mall: decline

 

Rokuro: what did you say?

 

na’mall: that man is a pig. He’s a spoiled child in a mans body with no concept of good manners

 

Akie: brother-

 

Before she can intervene rokuro slaps na’mall across the face

 

Rokuro: mind your tongue around me boy. This marriage well place our family in noble status so stop being an ungrateful shit and compose yourself

 

na’mall:………yes father

 

Rokuro: good. Akie I want you prepared to leave when the lord gets here

 

Akie: yes father

 

Akie helps her brother up and the two walk away 

 

 

In Akies room she’s packing some dresses

 

Na’mall: you can’t be ok with this. That lords been seen at brothels and his attitude towards women is sickening

 

Akie: I know but it’s for our family’s sake

 

Na’mall: what about your sake? Don’t you have a life worth living?

 

Akie went silent

 

Akie: my feelings aren’t important

 

Na’mall: they are to me!

 

Akie:….think about what this’ll do for you though it’s sure to improve your chances of the shogun selecting you for a samurai position!

 

na’mall: that’s hardly relevant-

 

Akie: brother please!!……my mind is made up I’m trying to ease this for you but you’re being so…stubborn!!

 

na’mall: akie-

 

Akie: please leave…

 

Na’mall reluctantly obeys

 

He returns outside and sets up a few training dummies and proceeds to practice martial arts on them

 

 

 

When akie was set to leave the family gathered outside

 

Akie hugs her brother and he reciprocated 

 

Akie: I’ll write a letter to you every week ok?

 

na’mall: promise?

 

Akie: promise

 

Na’mall watches his sister board a carriage and is carried off

 

Unfortunately for na’mall that would be the last time he ever heard his sisters voice

 

FLASHBACK END

 

 

 

The next week na’mall went on his usual walk to the shop

 

Only unfortunately the shop had been destroyed 

 

Na’mall scanned the ruins silently seething in mind

 

He noticed a hobo of sorts skulking around

 

He walks towards him

 

Na’mall: you. Do you know what happened here?

 

Hobo: I ain’t speaking to some masked fucker wit a schtick

 

*SHING*

 

Hobo: *sword pointed at throat* uhh some goetia from uptown bought the land and had It demolished

 

na’mall: hm *sheaths sword* you said uptown?

 

Hobo: yes sir

 

Na’mall leaves the site and walks in a deathly silence to the goetic mansion

 

 

 

FLASHBACK 2

 

Na’mall hadn’t heard or received a single letter from Akie for nearly a month

 

Na’mall thoughts: she never breaks a promise

 

Na’mall packed up his things and headed for the fujiwara palace

 

He arrived at the gates and is halted by the guards

 

Guard 1: what business do you have?

 

na’mall: I’m here to see my sister…she’s the lords new wife?

 

Guard 2: we’ll give her your well wishes now move along

 

na’mall: no I need to see her

 

Guard 2: move along peasant

 

na’mall: I’m seeing my sister

 

Guard 2: I said-!!

 

Na’mall nerve strikes both of the guards and they fall paralyzed

 

Na’mall walks into the palace and quietly makes his way to the marital quarters at the top were akie would be

 

He finds a large bedroom

 

na’mall: akie…I’m here

 

He opens the door

 

He freezes

 

And almost vomits from what he sees

 

Akies body had been tied to a wall and was left to bleed out from slit wrists and throat

 

Na’mall staggers over to the body and cut her down openly wailing and falling to his knees cradling his sisters corpse

 

Lord Fujiwara: who the hell is this peasant?! Why is he in my chambers!!?

 

Guard: sorry sir we’ll remove him

 

One of the guards approaches na’mall as sets the body down on the floor and stands up

 

He knocks the blade from the guards hand grabbing it and decapitating him with ease

 

Lord Fujiwara: ….kill him! Kill him!

 

The guards charge at na’mall but he cuts through them like butter

 

The blood soaked na’mall approaches the terrified lord

 

Na’mall: did you even know her name?

 

Lord Fujiwara: please don’t kill me!! I-i-i can pay you!

 

Na’mall: did you know her name?

 

Lord Fujiwara: I don’t know!! She’s a simple concubine!! Why would I bother knowing her name?! I’m a noble!! Why shouldn’t I have my way with them?!- 

 

He’s cut off by a blade being plunged through his throat 

 

He drops to the floor gagging and bleeding

 

Na’mall: you lived like a pig…now be slaughtered as one

 

He grabs his sisters body and exits the palace

 

 

The scene changes to a field where an unmarked grave sits with na’mall standing over it

 

Na’mall: i failed you…I know…but I swear I’ll make it right…the nobles say they can do whatever they wish…so why shouldn’t I? I refuse to bend to their will ever again…so this is my vow that I shall carry into death…every noble will die…I promise you akie.

 

Na’mall dawns an oni mask 

 

FLASHBACK END

 

 

 

Na’mall walks up to the goetic estate approaching two hellhounds

 

Hellhound: the fuck do you want?

 

na’mall:….I’m going to enter this house and kill everyone inside. If you don’t wanna be among them I suggest you run 

 

The two hounds look at each other and run away

 

Na’mall goes inside passing some confused staff

 

A goetia appears on the stairwell

 

Goetia 1: who the fuck are you?

 

Na’mall throws a angelic kunai blade into the goetias throat making them fall down the stairs as he walks by

 

He enters a dining room where a whole bunch of different noble demons are eating and are looking at him confused

 

Na’mall: hello…you’re all dying now

 

He unsheathes his katana and bolts onto the table slicing the throats a few of the guests as the others scream in terror

 

One goetia tries to use their magic only for na’mall to spin around and gun her down with his gun

 

One tries to hit him with an axe only for na’mall to grab their beak and rip it off

 

He then leaps off the table onto a goetias back 

 

Na’mall: I really liked that tea shop

 

He then repeatedly stabs them with the severed beak as the noble gazed at him horrified 

 

He hated them all…

 

Every noble he saw was the same as the one who killed his sister 

 

Every time he looked at one he was reminded of that horrid day

 

And he’d do anything to make it go away

 

Na’mall looks around the blood bathed room and sees the remaining goetia running up the stairs 

 

Hey swiftly gets behind her as she runs down a hallway to a room

 

Na’mall pulls out a baton and clicks a button turning it into a double bladed spear which he throws across the hall impaling the goetia woman’s gut against the room door

 

He walks over and yanks the spear out of the corpse

 

Na’mall: what were you hiding in here?

 

He enters the room revealing a nursery of sorts with a crib in the middle

 

In the crib sat an egg

 

An unborn goetia

 

That was hatching

 

The chick pushed it’s way out of the egg and stared up at the blood covered sinner

 

And they just stared at each other 

 

And for once na’mall didn’t know what to think

 

 

Chapter 22: Unhappy Campers

The episode begins with Blitzo peeking out of a corner of a building to check if the coast was clear. He then immediately runs across to a building in the Sloth Ring and starts climbing up the drain gutter downspout before he sneaks on the edge to a windowsill.

Blitzo: (low whisper) Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Blitzo opens a window and tries to get inside But, his head has a hard time getting inside because his horns are blocking his entrance. He starts to make it through, but then he ends up falling in and rolls over.

Blitzo: Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!!!

Blitzo crouches up and looks around for anyone who saw him. However, unbeknownst to him, a hand holding a taser comes into the scene and painfully tases him right in the butthole below his tail, making Blitzo seize in shock with static electricity before falling head first to the ground with smoke coming out of him.

Rehab Nurse: Well, if it isn't the deadbeat.

Blitzo gets back up after his painful tase and brushes his sleeves.

Blitzo: (mockingly) Well, if it isn't Nurse Pussy Face.

The camera pans over to the source of the voice, one of the nurses in charge of the rehab facility.

Rehab Nurse: You ain't gettin' in here. *crosses her arms and scowls at him* How many times do I have to sodomize you with a taser before you take a hint?

Despite being tased, Blitzo doesn't seem all hurt and brushes his coat.

Blitzo: As many as it takes to get me off. *turns back back to the nurse* Now, enough with this foreplay. Where's Barb?

Rehab Nurse: someone checked her out months ago, but that ain't none of your business.

Blitzo, surprised, comes over to the nurse, hands shrugging in confusion.

Blitzo: Wait, what? How? This is- wh-where the fuck did she go? Who checked her out?

Rehab Nurse: Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you, ass clown.

Blitzo: You know, I kill people for a living, right, bitch?

Rehab Nurse: (nonchalantly) Oh, I'm SO FUCKIN' scared...

Blitzo: Ugh... Fine.

Blitzo walks back to the window to climb out of the room. Halfway through, the nurse calls back to him.

Rehab Nurse: Blitzo, she's got a job now, a life, a boyfriend don't fuck it up by finding her.

Blitzo: Oh, that's nice. Why don't you take that advice and shove it right between your- WAIT BOYFRIEND!? *loses his grip and falls from the building* shiiiit!!

Blitzo ends up crashing into the ground as a cat screech in fright offscreen

The scene changes to the office inside of the I.M.P Headquarters where Moxxie and Millie are talking to a sinner client while rayden stands against the wall adjusting his robo arm when Blitzo bursts open the door, now covered in bush leaves, bruises, and dirt all over his clothes and body, walks pass the three of them in a dejected manner. Moxxie calls to him to get his attention.

Moxxie: Sir! There's a client here who wants to-

Blitzo doesn't listen and interrupts Moxxie as he opens the door to his office and slams it shut. Moxxie Rayden and Millie stare in confusion before turning back to the client.

Rayden: what's up with him? Erectile disfunction?

Millie: *nervous chuckle* I'm sorry, you were saying?

Demon Client: *hands shrugging in his confusion* Well, it's just that I'm sure one of the other camp counselors killed me, I'm just not sure which one...

Moxxie: How could you not know?

Demon Client: I was out on the lake when my boat *pointing down with both hands* started to sink. Someone *twirls two fingers to gesture* had drilled holes in it. *stops* The counselors are the only ones with keys to the boathouse, and they're the only ones who knew I couldn't swim. It had to be them.

Rayden: death at a summer camp...hmph if I had a dime for every time I set something like that in motion when I was alive...simple times

While Millie was delightfully smiling, Moxxie had a questionable look on his face about that work.

Moxxie: Hmm, *places a finger below his chin* we don't typically do investigations. *gestures his thumb to Blitzo's office* I'll have to check with the boss.

Moxxie moves around the desk behind Millie and stops at the office door before he opens it.

Moxxie: Uh, pardon moi, sir.

Moxxie sees Blitzo flipping his contacts through his rotary address card file. Blitzo was so preoccupied that he didn't look up to Moxxie as he flips through different address files on the rotary.

Blitzo: Not now, Mox.

Moxxie: Sir, *jabs his thumb behind him* there's a client that needs us to investigate his death, *claps his hands together* and we don't usually-

Blitzo: No tiiiime!

Moxxie: But, sir, we really need the cashflow and raydens getting that crazed look in his eyes I was thinking maybe-

Blitzo is now completely irritated with Moxxie interrupting his search that he finally faces him and stopped flipping through his rotary address file.

Blitzo: (now irritated) What part of "NO. FUCKING. TIIIIIIIME." do you not understand? *starts flipping back his rotary address file cards* Just handle it yourself.

Moxxie was now surprised and confused at the same time and points to himself.

Moxxie: You want me to lead? *gesturing back to his boss* On a hit?

Blitzo is now growing more frustrated with Moxxie and stops flipping his rotary card file while holding his head with one hand to keep cool on what he wanted to say.

Blitzo: I swear on all that is evil, Mox! If you aren't out of my office in negative three seconds-

Moxxie, not wanting to piss off his boss anymore, but also ecstatic of him giving this chance, grabs the doorknob and salutes him.

Moxxie: Youuu GOT IT, sir!

Moxxie closes the door behind him, his face full of sunshine and excitement. He was so excited about this job that his small little iris in his pupils expands out with stars gleaming bright shine. The scene switches back to the demon client camp counselor and Millie as Moxxie returns with new conference and leans against the desk.

Moxxie: We'll take the case! And I'll be handling this investigation, personally.

Millie and Rayden looks on at Moxxie with concern and hesitation

Millie: Honey, are you sure? *gestures to Blitzo's office* What about Blitzo?

Moxxie: Honey, honey, please. *postures himself* Blitzo put me in charge this time.

Millie/Rayden: (in disbelief) He did?!

Moxxie heard the disbelief coming from his wife and rayden and narrows his eyes as he looked back to her skeptically. Millie realized her mistake and then corrects her attitude to make her husband feel better.

Millie: Oh! I mean, He... he did! Isn't that great rayden?

Rayden is seen pointing a gun to his head

Millie snatches the gun from him

Rayden: *groan* hell suddenly feels like hell

Moxxie: Anyway this is going to be the *swipes his hand across* cleanest, most *fist down* well-prepped, most surgical hit we've ever had! Don't worry, sir! *points at the demon client* We'll find your killer and give him what's coming to him.

Moxxie had second thoughts of who the targeted killer might be and thinks for a while before he corrects himself.

Moxxie: And/or her... *pause* Or they... *pointing back at the client*

The scene comes back to Blitzo's office, and after so many fruitless searches, he is still searching for his sister. He checks on Barbie's profile of her social media profile, where she has not made any effort to improve her profile.

Blitzo: Why the fuck wouldn't she tell you where she was going? *scene change to Blitzo* and what's this about her having a boyfriend?! I mean, did you even ask-

Blitzo's phone started to vibrate, indicating another call.

Blitzo: Wait, hold on, I'm getting another call... *answers a call* Hellooooooo? (noise) Oh, good! Did you find- (noise) Really, where? (noise) Thanks, and I promise if we ever get a contract on your children, we'll make it quick and painless, byeee! *ends the call*

Blitzo puts his phone away and then starts running out of his office, unknowingly running pass Moxxie and Millie with a police investigation board on the wall that has red strings all over the place that it even extends out of the board. Moxxie was way over his head with the investigation that Millie finds the whole thing to be obnoxious.

Millie: Mox... Are you sure this isn't a little... much?

Moxxie: It's my first lead, Mills. *waves* It has to be... perfect. Which means no large mass murders rayden!

Rayden: moxxie it's goddamn summer camp.....murders are part of it

Moxxie: not today they're not. You will refrain from any large bloody spectacles or I'll cut your pay for this job in half

Rayden: *eye twitching* you little red rat...

Moxxie turns back to the investigation board.

Moxxie: Now, in front of you, you'll find a comprehensive guide to your cover persona.

Rayden: sorry cover persona?-

Moxxie: correct your role, your being *slams the board* Memorize it. We've got a lot of work to do.

Moxxie marches off

Rayden:........I'm gonna kill blitz

Millie pats his back

The scene moves to the summer camp called Camp Ivannakummore, where children and pre-teens can be seen laughing and playing in the background. Across the way, three preteen girls chat on a picnic bench. Moxxie and Millie are then shown in the bushes wearing disguises.

Moxxie is dressed as a "human" girl while Millie is dressed as a "human" boy

and rayden is dressed in a white mens tank top with camouflage pants and his hair tied back while wearing red sunglasses. His metal arm was also sprayed a light skin colour

Rayden: *sniffs air* ugh this whole place smells like one night stands

Moxxie: *fixing his tube top* Okay, you two, one last time for safety. (in a girly voice) I'm Moxxine, the hottest, most popular girl at my school, and you are?

Millie: (in a guy voice) Your brother, Millerd, I like sports and *thrusts hips* fuckin' bitches!

Moxxie: perfect, rayden?

Rayden thoughts: endure it rayden you lived through half a year with a musical obsessed princess you can do this

Rayden: *inhales* I'm Rennick military school dropout for being too nice...

Moxxie: this requires you to smile

Rayden: *sigh* one minute...I'm gonna be sore tomorrow

*C-C-CRACK*

Rayden is now wearing a very obviously forced smile that seems to be putting strain on his face

Moxxie and millie look visibly disturbed

Rayden: *gritting teeth* how's this?

Millie: uh nevermind.

Moxxie: Hm, you know these kids are a bit younger than I was expecting *putting a hand to the side of his face* millie maybe lose that last part of your character.

Millie: (in a manly voice) Check!

Moxxie: Alright, (in a girly voice) I think we are ready.

Millie notices something up head and points at it.

Millie: Hey, Mox!

The scene cuts to the cabins where an individual wearing a coat who's carrying a large sack over his back. He checks his surroundings to see if the coast was clear and then sneakily tiptoes to the bushes.

Millie: (voice-over)Check out that shady-lookin' fella over there. I think that's our guy.

The scene cuts to Moxxie.

Moxxie: (in a girly voice) Ahem, Millie... I hardly think pointing out the first guy you see is the proper way to conduct a-

Millie picks up a pair of binoculars and looks right at the guy carrying the sack, obviously clear that the guy was the killer their client wanted dead. He looks behind him to notice that the sack was slipping, so he drops it to reveal stashes of cash, couple of bags full of drugs, and syringe needles. He picks up the sack and then the binoculars show a drill in his hand.

Rayden: No, that's definitely him. That bag's full of money, and drugs, and what looks like a drill one would use to poke holes in a boat so lets kill the guy and go

The scene cuts back to Moxxie, looking a bit letdown after the obvious observation.

Moxxie: But- but that's all circumstantial at best! (in a girly voice) We need to methodically eliminate all suspects until we can be sure.

The scene phases out to Millie looking annoyed that the suspect was obviously the killer before the scene cuts back through the binoculars to show a boat house. The suspect's pair of eyeballs were visible in the shadows, looking nervously around to see if anyone else spotted him before disappearing behind a door. Unbeknownst to Millie, a single red-eye was seen into the crack right before the scene cuts back to Millie and Moxxie, as she puts aside her binoculars.

Rayden: he literally just headed into that locked boathouse we heard about looking sketchy

Millie: That would be the perfect place to-

Millie notices how visibly upset Moxxie is after making her obvious statement. She reconsiders her thoughts.

Millie: Fine, Mox. We'll do it your way.

Rayden: WHAT!? N-*millie covers his mouth* *grunt*

Moxxie cheers up and he and Millie gets up after Millie puts the binoculars away in her backpack while rayden looked like he wanted to die

Moxxie comes forward and observes the scenery to find the perfect human to manipulate to get close to their suspect.

Moxxie: With my sleuthing skills, raydens instincts and your killer eye, we should have this wrapped up in no time. Now, (in a girly voice) we just have to find the kids with the most influence.

He scans the camp horizon until he spots three pre-teen girls at a table talking to each other.

Moxxie: Oh... target, acquired.

Moxxie adjusts his top before he proceeds to head out to meet the girls.

As rayden walks out of the bushes an odd scent catches his attention

He looks down and sees a patch of what appeared to be fur

He picks it up and examines it

Rayden: *sniffs* odd do people here drink German vodka?

Rayden pockets the fur now somewhat interested in the mission

Before Millie can joina volleyball rolls over to her. She notices and approaches the ball before one of the campers calls to her.

Unnamed guy camper: (offscreen) Hey!

Millie looks over to see kids playing volleyball.

Unnamed girl camper: Hey!

Millie walks off to join them.

Over at the picnic table with the three preteen girls, one girl is talking, one of them is chewing gum and watching something on her phone, and the other is listening to her friend's story.

Unnamed Girl A: So, he snorted a whole line of ground-up mints, and tried to convince us he was high. Can you even believe him?

Suddenly. Moxxie approaches laughing obnoxiously and trying to fit in.

Moxxie: (in a girly voice) Ahahahaha! Oh, that Derek! What a riot! Riight?

The girls turn to him and look at him with disgust.

Unnamed Girl A: Um, who the fuck are you?

Moxxie: (in a girly voice) I'm Moxxine, I'm the prettiest girl at my school, and all the boys want me. My favorite coloooooor is hot pink. Because normal pink is sooo*crosses arms* basic. I like horses, puppies, fast cars, jewelry, and I got my first period last year, and it was sooo heavy!

Moxxie makes his way over to the picnic table and sits down.

Moxxie: I guess I'm just more mature than your typical preteen. So, you wanna be frieeends?

The girls stare at him. The first girl looks at Moxxie from head to his toes and notices that he is a digitigrade and points it out.

Unnamed Girl A: The fuck is wrong with your legs?

Moxxie: (taken aback) Wha- Um Oh! um-uh.... I was in an accident?

Unnamed Girl B: The same accident that fucked up your skin? You look like you spent three years in a tanning bed.

Moxxie: It's uhhhhh.... natural?

Unnamed Girl A: Ahah! Yeah, you wish. That botch job looks like it cost five bucks in an alley behind Walmart.

Unnamed Girl B: *stands up* Get lost, you fucking freak!

Moxxie stands up, obviously hurt and turns to the girls.

Moxxie: But, I-eeeh....

The girls all stand up and point in the direction for him to leave. When they looked over to the volleyball court, they notice a new person playing in the field. The scene cuts to Millie enjoying her time playing volleyball. In the girl's visions, they see the disguised Millie as a new hot boy on the block with sweat dripping down from her face and her hair swaying behind a bright color background with stars sparkling around her.

Unnamed Girl B: Oh, my god! WHO is THAT?!

The scene cuts back to the mean girls, all admiring Millie.

Unnamed Girl A: Look how beautifully tan he is.

Moxxie, completely taken back and shocked by the girl's turn off from his appearance and her admiring Millie's own, comes into the scene in front of one of the girls, looks at Millie.

Moxxie: (in a girly voice) WHAAAAT?!

Millie comes in close around as a camper passes the ball onto her.

Millie: (in a boyish voice) I GOT IT!

In one spectacular movement, Millie leaps up in the air with the sun shining down on Millie. With such joy in her eyes, Millie gives it all and smacks the ball so hard that a boom echoed in the air before it rockets right into one of the camper's face. He was smacked in the face with a volleyball so hard that his skull was heard being crunched and broken, and his tooth was knocked out before he was slammed into the ground. The impact was so strong that dirt and dust spreads to the volleyball field right when Moxxie and the mean girls comes down to see what has happened. After the dust settles down, the camper who was hit seemed to be on the ground, dead or unconscious with a massive crater underneath him.

All the campers were totally shocked and even the Lifeguard Dude was completely taken back. He removes his sunglasses to see that the camper was on the ground and rushes over to check on him. The camper was unresponsive, and Millie looked nervous that she went too far.

Rayden watches from the sides ready to attack

Lifeguard Dude: That was...

He pauses before resuming with tears flowing from his eyes with pride.

Lifeguard Dude: The best spike I've ever seen...

Rayden: eh?

The campers cheer on for Millie and lifted her up on their shoulders. As the campers take Millie away, the camper whow as hit in the face by Millie is revealed to be alive and reaches out to the Lifeguard Dude for help while he simply ignores him and wipes the tear away as he stands back up.

Unnamed camper: Please, I need medical attention.

Lifeguard Dude turns down to the kid with a scowl.

Lifeguard Dude: First Aid is for WINNERS!

While the campers take Millie away, the mean girls were looking at Millie with admiration in their eyes by Millie's incredible athletic skills.

Unnamed Girl A: Oh, my god! He is so fucking HOT!

Unnamed Girl A, immediately infatuated, waves her hand to cool herself while Moxxie makes a attempt to impress them again.

Moxxie: Oh! Ya know, he's my brother.

Despite his attempts, the girls all glare down at Moxxie for his obnoxious attitude and starts walking out on him.

Unnamed Girl B: FUCK OFF, TROLL!

As the girls leave him, Moxxie feels depressed that he did not impress them to get on their good side.

Rayden disappointed he couldn't get into a fight kicks a tree in frustration

???: hey! Hey! The fuck you doing!!?

Rayden turns to see a muscular looking guy approach him

???: you think you can just kick another mans tree?

Rayden: since when can a person own a singular tree in a forest

???: since I put my fucking name on it

Rayden sees the name "NICHOLAS" etched into the bark of the tree

Rayden: hm sloppy handwriting

Nicholas: ohoho we got a smartass eh?

Moxxie watches the two getting hostile witch each other

Rayden: yeah maybe I am what're you-

Rayden is cut off by Nicholas punching him in the face sending him flying into another tree

Nicholas: hmph pussies talk I act. *walks away*

Rayden quickly recovers and pulls out a pistol

Rayden: oho I'm gonna put him in the ground!-

Moxxie: NO! Do not retaliate!

Rayden: but he's an ass-

Moxxie: your job pay....gone

Rayden growls before banging his head against the ground in frustration

The scene switches back to Blitzo entering one of the pharmaceutical stores where Barbie is supposedly to be working at. The pharmacist was looking at his phone, completely oblivious to Blitzo approaching to his desk. The pharmacist notices Blitzo as he stops by the counter and brings up his phone to show the pharmacist the photo of his sister.

Blitzo: Hi, I'm lookin for one of your employees, her name is Barbie. Does she work here?

The pharmacist was confused of who Blitzo was or why he was doing here.

Pharmacist: Wait, what? Who are you?

Blitzo, now pissed, grabs the pharmacist by his collar and pulls him over the desk before slamming him hard against the wall. He growls out his frustration and slams him again to show he has no time for any more excuses.

Blitzo: Someone who's gonna get reeeal creative if you don't tell him what he wants!

Using his tail, he slaps the pharmacist repeatedly to leave bruises on his cheek.

Blitzo: Where is she, fucknut? *repeatedly slaps the pharmacist* I know you know! It only gets worse from here, asshole!

Blitzo slaps the pharmacist multiple times with each slap getting harder and more painful until the pharmacist gives up.

Pharmacist: Okay! Okay! She and her boyfriend are out on a pickup!

Blitzo brings the pharmacist close to his face as he narrows his eyes at the frightened pharmacist.

Blitzo: Where?

Pharmacist: some kinda living world camp

Blitzo: And how much do you know about this boyfriend?!

Pharmacist: other than the fact he's a bit of a punk not a lot

The scene changes back to the summer camps where Millie is running across the camp physical course. She appears to be having fun as she leaps over a large wall, and after landing down, she starts to tic-tac herself across the course. Once she reaches the end, Millie hops up and grabs the pull-up bar before she starts spinning. She was spinning so fast that Millie's wheel spin started to go in flames before Millie rockets herself in the air like a ball. Millie, now a flaming fireball, meteors down and impacts the unconscious camper she hit with a volleyball so hard that she buried him six feet under with a crater of his shape. The campers and counselors applauded Millie for such a spectacular performance. One of the campers had his phone out live streaming the whole thing.

Millie emerges head-first with eyes the same as Moxxie when he was excited for his first solo mission, her iris swelled in her pupils with stars gleaming bright shine. She was overjoy with her increasing popularity.

Millie: Mox! Did you see? I broke the record on the course!

Unbeknownst to her, Moxxie was having a hard time and grimaced at the thought of Millie outshining her, but he gave her a very sheepish smile while Millie waves back at the crowd.

Moxxie: Mhmm. I saw.

Rayden walks over joining them

Rayden: well at least someone on this mission is having fun

Rayden is hit in the back of the head by a beer bottle the drenches his backside in alcohol

The thrower is shown to be Nicholas who chuckles

Rayden: *gripping fists muttering* ohthissonuvabitch

Millie: you're not having fun rayden? I thought you enjoyed the outdoors?

Rayden: when the only rule is survival of the fittest yes

Millie: well I'm loving it!! Everyone LOVES me, they're cheering, *takes out her phone* they even posted videos of me online. LOOK!

Millie shows Moxxie the social media story of her performance that she meteors down at the camper she accidentally injured. Hearts keep liking her story as it increased her popularity. Moxxie was aghast of how Millie was the only one who gets the likes while he only gets the scowl. Millie then starts singing "Regular Joe", in which the lyrics appear at the bottom of the screen.

Millie: ♫ Every day! ♫

♫ As I walk around camp! ♫

Rayden: millie what're you doing?

Millie: ♫ All of these girls! ♫

♫ Follow me around! ♫

♫ I don't know why ♫

♫ Or what could it be? ♫

Rayden: this is my second hell I see

A random camp counselor comes up to Millie and then offers her some selfie with a crazed look in her eyes that had veins being seen, which creeps Millie out.

Random camp counselor: Hey, Millerd! HAH! Will you take a selfie with me?!

Millie: ♫ Ah wa oh! I'm regular Joe. ♫

♫ Ah wa oh! I want the world to know. ♫

♫ Ah wa oh! I'm simple and plain. ♫

♫ Why do all these girls ♫

♫ Keep screaming my name? ♫

Campers: Millerd! Millerd! Millerd! Millerd, I love you!!!

The scene transitions to a variety of camp activities such as canoeing, hiking and theatre

Rayden finds himself unfortunate in every one courtesy of Nicholas

On the canoe Nicholas rams raydens boat with a speedboat making rayden sink

On the hike Nicholas dumps honey on rayden from above

Rayden wipes his eyes only to see a growling bear and swarm of bees

Millie: ♫ I'm so ordinary. ♫

♫ Just a common dude. ♫

♫ But, they're all up in my DMs ♫

♫ They keep sending me nudes. ♫

♫ I'm nothing special. ♫

♫ I'll tell you it's true. ♫

The same creepy camp counselor stalker comes up on stage with a cake in her hand to Millie.

Random camp counselor: But, Millerd! Over here! I baked a cake for you!

Millie: ♫ Ah wa oh! I'm regular Joe. ♫

♫ Ah wa oh! I want the world to know. ♫

♫ Ah wa oh! I'm simple and plain. ♫

♫ I wish all these girls. ♫

♫ Would stop screaming my name. ♫

Just like before, the screaming fan girls of the camp were screaming out to Millie. She takes the time to take in the joy and happiness of being recognized by her peers. When the song ended, the scene switched to Moxxie, now being upset that, not only has Millie been taking the glory, but they haven't solve the case of their killer despite the obvious reason to go after the one they assumed to spot earlier.

Millie and rayden come behind the cabins with millie holding a bouquet.

Millie: Ooh, Moxxie! That was so fun! No wonder you sing all the time!

Unlike Millie, Moxxie was more annoyed that Millie isn't making any effort to solve their case.

Moxxie: (normal voice) Not exactly low profile...

Millie: I know... but, it's kinda nice having people cheer for me for once, ya know? Instead of SCREAMING *rips the bouquet in half* in PAIN and HORROR!

Rayden: I enjoy those sounds. I've even made a ASMR podcast on it.

Moxxie approaches Millie.

Moxxie: Don't forget what we're here to do, Millie.

Millie: I haven't. I'm just waitin' until you're ready...Have you been able to eliminate any suspects?

Moxxie: No, of course not. I can't get anything from anyone because they're too busy swooning over you.

Millie: If you want we can go off *brings out her two signature knives* the guy right now!

Rayden: yes let's do that! Then kill that muscle fucker

Millie: well maybe not him

Rayden: fine side job for later

Millie and rayden starts heading on over to the cabin.

Millie: I think he's alone in the cabin-

Moxxie realizes what they're was going to do and pulls them back to him.

Moxxie: No! I have to do this right.

Much to Millie's annoyance, she rolled her eyes and puts the knives away to come up with a better solution.

Millie: I'll tell you what... *comes over and caresses Moxxie's cheek* Why don't you try winning them over with something you're good at like I did? *walks over behind him* How about your music?

Millie then had an idea that a star shines in her eyeballs.

Mille: I can even help you since they already love me.

Just like Millie, Moxxie's eyes had a giant star when he thought of the idea.

Moxxie: Yeah... YEAH! (in a girly voice) That just might work.

The run off leaving rayden once again depressed

He then starts stamping the ground making a hole every time he brought his foot down

Rayden: WHY *stamps foot* IS *stamps foot* THIS *stamps foot* HAPPENING *stamps foot* TO *stamps foot* ME!?

He then goes into the forest to sulk more

Moxxie and Millie along with several campers sits near a campfire.

Millie: Ya'll wanna hear a song?!

Crowd: Yeeeah!

Millie: Alright! I know you all like me, but Moxxine is the real deal y'all

Millie: Let him-heeeeer tell ya all about it! Mox!

Moxxie: Thank you.

Moxxie starts singing a terrible campfire song, which, once again, the lyrics are displayed on screen.

Moxxie: ♫ Oh, everybody look at me! ♫

♫ I'm the greatest ♫

♫ It's plain to see ♫

♫ That all you losers wish that you could be like me ♫

♫ But, ya cant ♫

♫ Cause I'm a work of art ♫

♫ Yeah, I am hot shit ♫

♫ So pretty and smart♫

♫ Oh, everybody take a look at me!

♫ Look at me, me, me, Moxxine! ♫

♫ Me, me, me, Moxxine! ♫

♫ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me Me, me, me, me ♫

Moxxie finds out that everyone is drawn to Millie's banjo playing, and when she finishes playing, the crowd cheers as Moxxie runs off in tears.

In the forest rayden was sitting on a tree branch trying to relax himself by chewing on the side of the tree like a beaver

As he sulks he catches notice of Nicholas walking alone in the forest

Rayden eyes a pistol in his pocket

Rayden: *whispering* oh it'd be so goddamn easy

A large grizzly bear suddenly emerges from the bushes noticing Nicholas who looks awfully calm about the whole thing

The bear charges and swipes it's claws at Nicholas who dodges with ease and working around the bear with his footwork

The bear turns and gets on hind legs and roars at Nicholas swiping at him

Nicholas ducks the swipe getting under the bear before uppercut punching the bear in the chest as an audible crack is heard

The bear freezes before falling to the side dead

Nicholas: dummes Tier

He then walks away into the dark

Rayden leaps down from the branch inspecting the bear corpse

Whatever reservations he had about him rayden had to admit the guy clearly knew how to fight

The whole thing looked like a cage match in a MMA fight

Rayden follows Nicholas only to find no trace of him

Only a few patches of the same fur from earlier

Something else was odd about Nicholas to rayden

He swore he heard him speaking fluent German

Later, Millie approaches an outhouse where Moxxie is crying uncontrollably.

Millie: Moxxie? You okay?

Moxxie: Go away!

Millie: Moxxie, what's goin' on?

Moxxie: Nothing! It's... It's just my time of the month!

Millie: Honey... no.

Moxxie: I just wanna go home.

Millie: Hey, big guy. I know you can do this. You're the best assassin-slash-musician-slash-preteen girl I know.

Moxxie: *peeks out of the outhouse* A-and investigator?

Millie: And investigator. Look, I know it's been tough. Just keep playing to your strengths, you have all week to get it right.

Moxxie: *exits the outhouse* Okay... thank you.

Rayden: hey millie a word?

Millie walks to a secluded spot while moxxie goes to do more investigating

Millie: what's up rayden?

Rayden: as much as I hate my current situation I think it's wise we stay on guard

Millie: why? You found something?

Rayden: potentially. I think this goes further than a summer camp killing. I don't think we're the only guests from down below

Millie: you think there's other demons here?

Rayden: it's a hunch but I don't think the average human can one-shot a bear with their bare hands

Millie: heh "bare hands"

Rayden: seriously?

Millie: sorry couldn't help it

The scene switches to a montage of Moxxie doing various things to investigate the killer of the client.

On Tuesday, Moxxie is seen climbing up a tree to get a better view of the camp. Moxxie brings up his binoculars to see the cabin, but as he was doing this, a volleyball hits him in the face which caused Moxxie to lose his balance. In short distance, Millie and the campers who were playing volleyball saw Moxxie falling off the tree and then crashing into the ground with a grimace.

On Wednesday, while Millie and the campers are canoeing in the lake, Moxxie surfaces with goggles and snorkels and slowly swims on over to the boat house. However, a freshwater demon shark suddenly surfaces and chomps Moxxie whole into its jaws before it starts viciously shaking Moxxie.

On Thursday, Millie is doing archery with the campers. She has one camper pose with an apple on top of his head while wearing a blindfold. She shoots the arrow and makes a bullseye on the apple. The other campers cheered while Millie peeks over. As for Moxxie, he was in the bush with his binoculars when an arrow with the apple Millie shot came over his head. He ducks and smiles that the arrow missed him. However, a giant bear with a arrow that had an apple pierced its left eye towers over the bush with an angry expression at Moxxie. He was petrified for a brief second before he was about to get mauled by the bear.

After a painful week with no results, on Friday, a flyer that had Millie's picture was handed over to her by the Lifeguard Dude and became excited. Millie runs over to Moxxie, who is now an outcast with him being kicked graffiti word: "Bitch" spray-painted on it. Moxxie emerges with vines painfully wrapped around him, his shoe missing, and is looking more angrier by the day. He throws the binoculars down and tries to get the vine off him before a swarm of crows swoops in and attack him, pecking his face before they dispersed. He sits down by his campfire that was burned out and stretched his digitigrade feet before Millie comes into the picture.

Millie: MOX! MOX! You'll never believe it! They want me to perform on stage tonight for the local news! Those videos have made me some kind of human celebrity!

Moxxie: All week it's been "Oh look at Millerd! Isn't HE great?" "Oh, look how talented Millerd is!" We have a job to do, and you're off dancing for views! Why does it matter SO MUCH how these yokels feel about you?

Millie has lost any form of shine and is now feeling disappointed and upset that Moxxie wasn't being happy for her.

Millie: It doesn't. It matters how I feel about myself. And for once, I feel like... *tears forming* like I'm important. Like I'm someone to be proud of...

The more Millie takes her frustration out on Moxxie, the more he feels guilty that he gets his jealously the best of him. Millie wipes her face and comes over to shove the paper on his chest.

Millie: And I had hoped that my husband would be there to support me half as much as I've supported him and tried to get rayden to this week!

Moxxie: Millie, I didn't mean-

Millie: SAVE IT, MOX! You could have finished that job any time if you had just listen to me or rayden, but you wanted to do thing your way. So, fine. Finish the job, go home if you want to - *turns around and starts stepping forward and Moxxie trips over a stake* But, I'm gonna have my moment, WITH OR WITHOUT YOU!

Millie throws the pamphlet away before Moxxie tries to snag the paper in his hand. in doing so, he ends up getting tangled by one of the tent's ropes. The tent comes undone and then Moxxie was wrapped by the tent before falling to the floor. He is dejected that he hurt his wife's feelings and now is contempt that his marriage is in jeopardy.

Moxxie: Oh, crumbs...

The episode switches back to Blitzo still searching for his sister. After a week of endless search, he has finally come to a demon imp who was told to be selling access to the human world and catches him by the throat. He shoves the dealer against the wall with a very angry face.

Demon Imp Dealer: It's here man, I swear!

Blitzo takes out his signature pistol from his back pocket and puts it under his chin to threaten the man into giving him what he wants.

Blitzo: Open it...

The dealer did what he was told and takes out an Asmodean Crystal, a crystal that has access to Earth. Blitzo was surprised that a thing existed in the black-market before the dealer activates it. He shoots a beam behind Blitzo and a crystal mirror portal opens up for Blitzo to gain access to the human world. He smiles at the sight of the portal.

Blitzo: Thanks, chump.

Blitzo throws the dealer into a nearby dumpster before he enters the portal to Earth. On the other side, Blitzo successfully lands into the human world, unaware that he had just landed in Camp Ivannakummore. He checks around before disappearing into the bushes.

Rayden meanwhile is scouting around the forest a notices a trail of the fur leading through the forest

He follows the trail for a few minutes as it seems to lead to the boat house

Rayden: circumstantial evidence my ass

Rayden is then grabbed from above by two arms and tossed at a tree

Grunting he looks up to see Nicholas sticking to the side of a tree walking down it

Nicholas: you should've kept your nose down smartass

Nicholas is seen putting on shiny brass knuckles that look like their made of angelic steel

Nicholas: oh well least I finally get to kill someone on this trip

Nicholas waists no time delivering a flurry of punches to raydens gut which temporarily dazes him before grabbing his leg and throwing him away from the boat house into yet another tree so hard the tree come down

He gets to his feet and spits blood onto the ground making it sizzle

Nicholas is running at rayden fist at the ready

Only this time rayden catches the blow now clearly fed up

Rayden: for the past week...I have been thrown into trees

Rayden knees Nicholas the gut

Rayden: IT HAS BEEN VERY-!!

Rayden then punches Nicholas into a tree with his metal arm

Rayden: FRUSTRATING!!

Nicholas spits blood into his hand  looking surprised at rayden

Rayden: fuck this mission fuck my pay fuck moxxie and FUCK THIS STUPID CAMP!!

Nicholas looks almost happy

Nicholas: ha! du bist ein guter kämpfer. Haa i'm gonna have fun with this

Nicholas and rayden both charge at each other

Rayden charge tackles him into the woods

A stage was setup by the camp counselors to get Millie to perform live.

Backstage, Millie was looking at the crowd with anxiety. She turns around to meet the Lifeguard Dude once again.

Lifeguard Dude: You ready to go on, champ?

Millie: (in a male voice) I guess...?

Lifeguard Dude: Good, now get out there and out Camp Ivannakummore on the Map!

As the crowd cheers grew louder, Millie was now feeling the mood. Her anxiety started to take a toll on her as she takes a deep breath before flipping the curtains to enter the stage. She tries her best to give the crowd the best smile, but it was only a grimace when she looked around for Moxxie in the crowd. However, she does not see Moxxie in the crowd or anywhere in the cheering campers and crowd. Just before she was about to go further, the stage lights turn off and then Moxxie's voice echoes in the microphone as smoke puffs around the stage and the hidden trap door opens on the floor with a spotlight shining on it.

Moxxie: (in a girl voice) Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Are you ready for a SHOOOOOW?!?

The crowd does not like Moxxie being on the stage and boos at him, flipping him off, and looking at him with disgust.

Unnamed Girl C: GET THE FUCK OFF THE STAGE!

Unnamed Girl A: KILL YOURSELF, NERD!

Despite the absolute backlash for Moxxie, he does not seem to care much about the crowd giving him the intense dislike and proceeds to continue with his announcement.

Moxxie: (in a girl voice) I am very proud to introduce to you *peeks over to Millie, who was now being moved by Moxxie's appearance* Someone with abilities never before seen on this Earth. Someone with the raw athletic skill of an Olympian. (in a normal voice) The voice of an angel. *gestures to Millie as the spotlight now shines on her* The acrobatic technique of an indentured 12-year-old Russian ballerina.

Millie suddenly realizes that Moxxie was confessing to her on stage and drops the smile before making gestures to tell him to stop because the crowd was watching him.

Moxxie: (in a normal voice) And a body that - JUST. DOESN'T. QUIT.

Unbeknownst to Moxxie, the campers were starting to get uncomfortable with two of them looking at each other with the awkwardness and repulsive expressions on their face. When Moxxie finished, he then widened his eyes and glances over his shoulder to see that the crowd was totally silent and is now looking at him with creepiness. He realizes his mistake and turns around, coughing his throat before beginning his speech.

Moxxie: The best, and most supportive person I've ever known and the love of my life. My wife-

Millie and Moxxie had their glass broke noise came to their heads when they realized they are still on stage and Moxxie correct himself.

Moxxie: (in a girl voice) Brotheeeeer... Millerd!

Moxxie comes to her and hands over the microphone to Millie.

Millie: Thank you...

Moxxie: Knock'em dead, baby!

Millie: Speaking of...

Millie shrugs over her head to the other direction and Moxxie turns over to see that the target is moving along with a shadowy figure behind him, heading to the boat house. Moxxie turns back to Millie.

Moxxie: You sure?

Millie nuzzles her head to his to assure Moxxie to finish the job.

Millie: (whisper) Go get'em, baby.

As Millie comes over to the front of the stage, Moxxie takes the opportunity to start his move. He jumps off stage and brush past the displeased crowd before heading into the bushes. From there, he sees the door to the boat house closing. As he moves around the bush, Moxxie trips on something and fell forward. However, he did not hit the ground and instead he lands on Blitzo. That's when they realize each other and looked at themselves before they come to realize how shocking turn of events played for them.

Moxxie: (dismayed) What in the- SIR?!

Blitzo: MOXXIE?! *shoves Moxxie off his head and turns around* What the fuck are you doing here?!

Moxxie: Trying to finish the job you gave me!

Blitzo could not believe what Moxxie was saying and becomes not only disappointment, but also dismayed that Millie and Moxxie were still working on the case since it's already been a week.

Blitzo: Christ on a stick, you're still working on that? It's been like a fucking week. *points at Moxxie with anger* THIS is why I don't trust you with dick, Mox.

Blitzo was not having whatever was going on with Moxxie and then enters the bush to get to the boat house. 

The scene changes to rayden and Nicholas still engaged in a brawl that has turned into a moving cloud of fighting so intense it spreads the forest like a chainsaw

The two kick each other apart with both taking a moment to catch their breath

Nicholas: *hissing noise*

Rayden: *wiping blood from mouth* nice to know to know you haven't gone soft...Nikolai

Nicholas or now known as Nikolai freezes then examines rayden closely narrowing his eyes

Nikolai: wait...rayden?! You're alive?!

Rayden: that's a bit offensive.

Nikolai: I just...wow verdammte Hölle. I didn't think you'd still be kicking after the exorcists and after the lizard prick showed up with some of your gear well...

Rayden: you really think stuff like that will put me down?

Nikolai: heh no...though the guild wasn't the same without you...I resigned not that long after we kicked striker out

Rayden: and what're you doing in camp hellhole?

Nikolai: oh! Helping my girlfriend smuggle drugs

Rayden:..........you've got a girlfriend?

Nikolai: uh yes? What assassins can't have relationships?

Rayden: hm

Nikolai: how'd you figure out I was in disguise?

Rayden: three simple clues 1. You drink an abundance of German vodka that it smells 2. You're hand to hand combat and 3. You shed your fur like crazy

Nikolai looked a bit embarrassed at that last one

Nikolai: can we keep fighting?

Rayden: yeah fair enough

Blitzo sneaks up to stand right next to the door of the house. Moxxie soon follows right behind him.

Moxxie: And what exactly are you doing here, sir?

Blitzo: Apparently, helping finish your botched job...But, mostly I'm looking for my sister.

Blitzo then stands back and kicks the door open with a loud slam. He was completely appalled when he found out about the scene before him.

Blitzo: (angrily) BARBIE!

The camera pans over to switch to show no sexual encounter, but Blitzo's sister, in a human form with a human camp counselor dealer she was with. She had one pause moment before she realized who barged right into the boat house.

Barbie Wire: (disgusted) BLITZO!?

Moxxie's head peeked over, completely confused of the ordeal and looked over at the door.

Moxxie: You know her?!

Blitzo: Do I know her? That's my sister, fuckface!

Upon hearing that the human form of Barbie Wire was Blitzo's sister, Moxxie's face grew into total shock.

Millie was standing there with a silent crowd waiting for her to make a move. She took a moment to close her eyes before opening them with a very smoothed gaze, holding her chin, and a heart puffing out to show her glorious face. The crowd screams to give Millie a applause.

Back to the boat house, from a camera POV, Blitzo and Moxxie were standing across one side of the house while Barbie and the camp counselor were on the left. Apparently, excluding the human camp counselor, Barbie doesn't seem she is fond of seeing Blitzo or Moxxie in the boat house. She stared at them with narrowed eyes while Blitzo and Moxxie were doing the same thing, but their arms crossed as if she's such a disappointment.

Barbie Wire: What the fuck are you doing here, shithead?

In return, Blitzo was also not fond of seeing his sister being in the human world and being with a human.

Blitzo: I should be asking you the same thing! A stranger checks you out of rehab, no call, no note, some boyfriend of all things and I have to track you down to this shithole with... (confused) Who the fuck is this?

The human counselor was waving at Blitzo before Barbie comes into the scena and shoves her hand on his face.

Barbie Wire: No one! He works for me. And who's the little twink here?

Before Moxxie could even retort to Barbie about being called a twink, obviously offended that she might have mentioned his penis size, Blitzo does the same thing and shoves his hand in front of his face.

Blitzo: No one... He works for me. NOW WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A BOYFRIEND?!

Barbie Wire: oh you know about him eh?

Blitzo: uh yeah!! What's he like? how'd you meet!? What's his dick size?!!

Barbie Wire: he's brutish but he's a softie at times he helped me out of a bad spot and visited me in rehab and well-

Nikolai and rayden crash through the house wall with rayden holding Nikolai in a choke hold

Barbie Wire:  well you can just ask him I guess

Nikolai heaves rayden across the house landing in front of the imps

Rayden: hey guys

Nikolai: hey babe

Barbie Wire: hey sweetie

Blitzo: HEY DIPSHIT DID YOU FUCK MY SISTER!?

Nikolai: sister? Oh you must be blitzo! nice to meet you! I've heard horrible things!

Rayden notices the counsellor cowering behind barb

Rayden: isn't that the target?

Blitzo realizes what a coincidence it must've been for the job since the human counselor is their client's target and was amused of it.

Blitzo: Oh, shit, Barb! Looks like your little boy toy got himself into some trouble.

Barbie is confused of what blitzo meant.

Barbie Wire: The fuck are you talking about?

Moxxie: He killed our client, and now our client wants to kill him back.

Now that it makes all sense for Barbie, she turns to her human counselor with anger.

Nikolai: You fucking WHAT?!

Counselor Jimmy: *shrugs* He found out about your drugs.

Despite his honest answer, Barbie dismisses it and waves at him nonchalantly like she doesn't care.]

Barbie: I don't want to fucking hear it, kid.

Nikolai: told you relying on teens was a bad idea

Barbie: shut it nik. Look, you're not killing my supplier!

While Moxxie looked incredibly annoyed of this whole family drama, Blitzo was more disappointed about this whole thing since her rehab. He was so frustrated that he pinched his eyes.

Blitzo: Oh, fuck... supplier of what? *points at Barbie* You're not back on that H-8, are you?

Barbie Wire: Fuck, no! It's just heroin.

Blitzo was relieved that the drug was only a minor for her and holds his temple.

Blitzo: Oh. Thank, Satan.

Rayden: that's better?

Nikolai shrugs

Back to Millie, she was giving the crowd one heck of a performance as she was juggling axes in her hands. She then throws the axes at the bullseye target which she hit two of them to the target, but the third one misses and flies over to the volleyball area and over the camper she crippled. The axe hits the tree which causes a beehive to shake before the hives snapped from the tree and lands on the camper. He screamed in pain and agony.]=

Meanwhile, back to the boat house, Blitzo was still arguing with Barbie while Moxxie was growing impatient with the drama between the two siblings.

Blitzo: So, now you're peddling heroin?

Moxxie pulls out his signature knife from the back, already had enough of this whole drama and walks around the water to get to the target with Blitzo following behind, still arguing with Barbie. Barbie pushes the human counselor over to the heroin stash and walks around to get confrontational with Moxxie before Blitzo came to the front to stop them from getting closer to each other.

Blitzo: What's the point? That shit barely gets rid of a headache.

Barbie Wire: It's honest work, okay? And I thought it would be sure to keep me as far away from you as possible.

Nikolai: she was very insistent on that factor

Moxxie: *twirling a knife* And you teamed up with genius here because...?

Barbie: Do you have any idea how easy teenage humans are to manipulate? *jabs her thumb to the counselor behind her*

Counselor Jimmy: Heeey! No, I'm not!

Nikolai: SHUT UP AND KEEP LOADING CRATES VIRGIN BOY!!

Counselor Jimmy: eek!! yes sir!!

Counselor Jimmy heads back to load the heroin on the boat

Barbie: you're so hot when you're intimidating

Nikolai smiles

Moxxie: Sir... I've spent a week on this...

Already having enough, Moxxie brings out his signature knife to go for the kill.

Moxxie: I'm finishing it, one way, or another...

Rayden: uh max you sure you can handle Nikolai?

Moxxie: please I can handle some WWE wannabe

Nikolai: ............what did you call me?

Rayden: fuck...trigger word

Nikolai leaps at moxxie like an animal shedding his human disguise revealing a black furry muscular spider demon with an extra set of arms and four mandibles surrounding a sharp toothed mouth

He tackles moxxie using two arms to plant him on the deck and the other two to spin box him like a punching bag

Rayden: back at it then

Back to Millie sitting on a stool, she adjusts the cord of her strings to her guitar. once she has finally adjusted the guitar, just as she was about to perform, the 80s' style anthem song, "You Got the Power", started playing on the scene. Millie gives a rock with her fists as fireworks sprout on stage, making the crowd cheer with excitement.

Back at the boat house, Jimmy, rayden, Nikolai Blitzo, Barbie, and Moxxie were watching the fireworks go off on the stage from a distance. rayden pays Nikolai off of moxxie who charges at jimmy

merely inches from Jimmy, Barbie caught Moxxie with her tail before throwing Moxxie over and making him crash into the docks the boat, and then the water.

With her tail exposed, Barbie turns off her Asmodean Crystal to revert herself back to her demon imp form. She turns and glares at Blitzo.

Barbie Wire: Come on, Blitzo, haven't you fucked my life up enough already?!

Millie switches to the drums and beats it like there's no tomorrow. Between Millie's performance, the boat house fight scene continues as Moxxie emerges from the waters to grab hold of the docks and climbs up to stab Jimmy. However, Barbie's tail wraps around him again and pulls Moxxie back to Barbie. Moxxie, now furious, twirls his body and tackles Barbie to the ground with her tail still wrapped. He tries to stab Barbie, but Blitzo then joins the fight and moves in to break it up between Barbie and Moxxie. The panel switches to Jimmy, now afraid of his dealer and the imps attacking each other. He crawls over the heroin and moves to remove the tarp from the opening. Just before he can remove the rope, a knife was thrown by Moxxie and then hits the wall next to the tarp.

The scene switched to the demons fighting amongst themselves. Blitzo pulls Barbie off Moxxie before the little imp charges at Jimmy with anger.

Nikolai uses a set of his arms to pin rayden and blitz as max tries and fails to kill jimmy

During the fight jimmy throws a packet of the drugs at the group which they all breath in

The imps go feral like cats

Rayden: *sniff* hm I got nothing

Nikolai: *smacks lips* same. Must be all the vodka

As the song ends, fireworks spore out once again in a epic ending. one of the firework rockets, however, strayed away from the stage and into the boat house. Inside, Blitzo was not restraining Moxxie while barbie was already standing. As Jimmy stands on the boat, the stray rocket crashes through the window and then, in a slow motion, comes in front of his face before the frame resumes back to normal speed as the firework explodes, killing Jimmy, and splattering blood all over the imps. They were speechless that Jimmy died without Moxxie doing the thing. Barbie Wire blinked a couple of times of what just happened.

Rayden: huh...well that works

Nikolai: damn...and I though prison was full of surprises

Barbie Wire: (angrily) SATAN FUCKING DAMNIT!!!

Nikolai gets ooff the ground knowing the job is off

Barbie Wire: Thanks a lot, Blitzo, I'm out of a job! FUCK!

Blitzo: Barb, wait! *gets up* I want to help you- Let me help you, please?

While Blitzo talks to Barbie, Moxxie rests his head in his hands, crying now that he has finally succeeded in finishing the job after a week of hellish attempts.

Blitzo: You're clean now, right? Let's... grab dinner, we'll catch up, and we'll talk about-

Barbie Wire: Hehahaha! *turns around* You don't fucking GET IT!

the camera comes close to show only Barbie and Blitzo. Barbie points at Blitzo while glaring at him.

Barbie Wire: Just cause I'm outta rehab doesn't mean I wanna see you! *jabs a finger on their mother's choker that Blitzo wears* I NEVER wanna see you, EVER!

Barbie was done with Blitzo and walks in a clearing part of the boat house where she taps her wrist containing the Asmodean Crystal to open a portal to Hell.

Barbie: come on nik

Nikolai heads towards the portal giving a salute to farewell to rayden who nods in acknowledgement

Barbie Wire: Next time you want to find me, Blitzo, DON'T!

Nikolai picks her up bridal style as they  both enter the portal

And with that, Barbie leaves, closing the portal. Blitzo can only look on, depressed of Barbie being mad at him and telling him off while oblivious to Moxxie and rayden

Rayden: what a fucking week

Meanwhile, after a spectacular performance, Millie was being praised by the campers. She looked on, eyes glowed with emotions now that she has fulfilled her importance. Millie makes a bow to the crowd and then heard footsteps close by. She turns and finds Moxxie, still covered in blood.

Millie: Looks like you did it.

Moxxie: No...

Moxxie's hands grabs Millie's making her look at him with eyes glowing with happiness.

Moxxie: You did it. I'm so proud of you, Millie.

Moxxie looks the other way, still guilty of him being jealous and acting furious at her.

Moxxie: And I'm sorry I let you down.

Millie then grabs Moxxie and lifts him up and spins themselves around.

Millie: Just don't do it again, dummy.

And with that, Moxxie kisses Millie on the lips. Their kiss grows increasingly passionate while the crowd watches on, shocked by the sight of what they thought were siblings making out. As their kiss intensifies, Millie and Moxxie start ripping clothes off of each other.

Millie: *moaning* Oh! Oh, yeah! Moxxie!

Millie rips off the top Moxxie was wearing, alongside the bra underneath

Millie: Moxxie!

Moxxie and Millie continue to moan each other's names. A camera crew watches on, horrified, as the rest of their clothes are torn off and flung onscreen, a set of panties and a bra landing on the camera operators.

Millie: Take it, Moxxie!

The scene rolls in the breaking news card over to start viewing the headlines. The camera then shows the news anchorwoman reporting in on the sex scene that was being watched and livestreamed on the internet.

Anchorwoman: Internet sensation and local celebrity Millerd Realboy *slides down the picture of Millie in disguise* caught incesting tonight!

the anchorwoman then shows the pictures taken by the campers of the Moxxie and Millie having sex on stage and then a short story scene of Millie making love to Moxxie as she kisses Moxxie on top of him.

Anchorwoman: Showcasing a sickening display onlookers deemed: *switching to the I.M.P's TV* Too disturbing to look away... and we won't.

Despite Millie's popularity now ruined and her reputation tarnished, that doesn't seem to matter for Blitzo as he turns off the TV. He was having his morning coffee as he was in the morning meeting with Moxxie, Rayden and Millie, who still doesn't mind about her popularity crashing.

Blitzo: Gonna be honest, Moxxie-

The scene switched to the three imps with Millie and Moxxie not ditching their disguises in the meeting room. Blitzo smiles at Moxxie for a job well done.

Blitzo: Not too bad for your first solo mission.

Moxxie: *gasps* Reeeeeally, siiiir?

Blitzo: Nooo, no, not really. You're a fucking disgrace.

And with that, Blitzo silently drinks his coffee while Moxxie loses all shine, completely depressed with sad puppy dog eyes. He looks over the table while Millie glares at her boss for being a completely asshole. The camera pans out to reveal that Loona was in the meeting room sleeping with drool on the table, completely oblivious to the whole thing that happened over the past week,

Rayden was silent mainly because he couldn't stop thinking about Nikolai's words

"What assassins can't have relationships?"

And he thought about what he'd been through during his time at IMP

But most of all

It made him think about him and carmilla

Was someone like him allowed to feel that way?

 

Chapter 23: The Wolf Spider

There's a common story on earth

Two people a man and a woman from two different walks of life meet

Despite all odds they fall in love and have a child, a symbol of their union and have a normal life as a family

Bull

Shit

Here's the reality

They are shamed for their romance, the father is shot for betraying his country and the mother and child are sent to a gulag where the mother dies from a disease mixed with abuse from the guards

And the child?

The child learns how to fight to survive in this world of snow, mud, metal, and concrete.

Bash, beat, bite, choke even kill

The guards and prisoners don't even consider him human anymore

Now they see him as an animal

 

 

Vorkuta 1962

 

Two Russian guards in heavy winter coats walk down a dimly lit concrete hallway

They stop at a metal cell door for some kind of bunker

They unlock it

Inside is a muscular shirtless man covered in scars with a buzzcut doing pushups at a fast pace

Guard 1: come on crossbreed time to bloody your teeth

The man stops the pushups and gets to his feet

Nikolai: tch

The guards escort Nikolai to a elevator which takes them up to large metal door

A clunking noise is heard and the door opens which nikolai steps through

He enters a makeshift lower level arena with prisoners and a few guards surrounding the top behind metal fences below a night lit sky. Spotlights shine the arena as prisoners cheer and chant

Nikolai had gotten used to this routine some time ago

The gulag had a mass population problem and since "political prisoners" came in quite a lot as a result resources and available soldier were stretched thin ever since the guards had gotten very creative in how to shrink the numbers

They would kill each other

Every Friday 5 matches at random selection to the death

If you survived you were put back In until you eventually died

And Nikolai had a long history of survival

Across from Nikolai another large door opens

Out steps a burly man much taller than Nikolai with a scruffy beard

The two opponents circle each other glaring with ferocious intent

The man charges taking a swing at Nikolai's head which he narrowly dodges

Nikolai tries to hit the man in the abdomen only to be socked in the face by the mans knee breaking his nose

Despite the injury Nikolai is still at his peak

He charge tackles the man into the wall and brutally punches his sides most likely breaking some rib

The man grips Nikolai's shoulders and bashes his body against the wall with him and bashing his head against it

Nikolai then grabs the mans head pulling himself to his level and ramming his head into his breaking his nose

Nikolai: there's buddhist term that comes to mind...can't remember it though. Probably French propaganda

Nikolai immediately puts up his arm guard as he takes blows from his opponent as he steps back to get breathing room while his arm integrity lasts

The moment the other prisoner slows down Nikolai unleashes a brutal punch to his rib cage dazing him

He then kicks the mans knee in getting him to the ground in pain

Nikolai then goes around him and starts arm locking his neck incredibly tight as the prisoner violently chokes

He then puts his free hand the mans forehead and tightens his grip

And then

SNAP

The prisoner falls dead

Nikolai had been trying to make the fights last longer for two reasons

1 he liked the adrenaline from being hit

2 he'd become too strong for his own good

The prisoners cheer in celebration as Nikolai walks past the guards into the elevator

Prisoners: WOLF! WOLF! WOLF! WOLF!

Back in his cell as he did situps he felt intense boredom

Nikolai lost any intense feeling a long time ago.

He didn't want justice or clarity or revenge now he just wanted something, any kind of excitement

He saw a spider crawl under his cell door

Nikolai: I envy you arachnid. Complete mental freedom, no bars, no routine...that's proper power

 

The next morning his cell was opened

Nikolai: bit early for the fight isn't it?

Guard: you're not fighting...you're leaving

Nikolai:........what

Nikolai amongst dozens of prisoners are exiting prisoners

This was it his new life.

A hitman? A cook? Wrestler? Golfer? Anything

whatever it was he was going to embrace the new like it was a cold beer being handed to a 18 year old who'd never tasted alcohol, but watched his father do so

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But then his heart stopped

Nikolai: oh fuuuuuuu....

he falls onto the ground dead

 

 

 

 

 

 

All things considered hell wasn't as bad he thought

Sure there was murder at every minute but nikolai had complete murderous freedom

His new form wasn't unique in hell but his talents had been amplified

This had gotten him noticed by a group of hitman who extended an offer to him to join

But after a while and after the main source of excitement died he left because it felt no different from his prison fights now

He then heard a commotion in an alleyway

Having nothing better to do he approached the commotion

It was a group of shark thugs harassing some imp

Thug 1: you junkie bitch! You owe us 10 grand!

Imp: *dazed* fuck...off

Thug 2: you little-

Nikolais fist then blows through the sharks chest

Nikolai: believe she said fuck off

A set of his arms grab two of the others and crush their heads

He then turns to the sole survivor

Thug 3: combats-moi, bâtard!!

Nikolai:....French

Nikolai: ah I feel better *turns to imp* you ok miss?

The imp grabs a a knife and slashes it at him but he dodges

Nikolai: hey! *dodges slash* the hell?!!

He uses both sets of his arms to hold the imp in place until she stops thrashing

Nikolai: ok are we calm now?

Imp: just end it...

Nikolai: Entschuldigung?

Imp: end me...I'm done...just get it over with...rather die then spend the rest of my life in some fucking rehab station

Nikolai couldn't help but feel bad for her if it weren't fort for his instincts he'd have ended his life in prison years ago

But he got out of that cage

Nikolai:...*sigh* I live a few blocks over you can stay there til you're feeling less depressed

Imp: I don't want your help

Nikolai: well fuck you you're getting it anyway...you got a name?

Imp:....barbie

 

A few months later barbie was back in rehab

Nikolai popped round now and then to see she didn't run off again

She seemed to get better each time he visited

During one visit it took a turn

Barbie: hey nik can I see you in my room?

Nikolai: uh sure?

They enter the room and barbie locked the door

Nikolai: uh wha-

Before he could finish he's tackled to a bed

Barbie: you and me are dating as of now you hot bastard~

Nikolai: eh?!

Barbie: now ravage my mouth with those manibles!~

Needless to say nikolai had found his new source of excitement

 

perhaps that story works differently in hell

 

Chapter 24: Oops!

The episode begins with a wideshot of Asmodeus' palace, in which we then see his bedroom. Fizzarolli and Asmodeus are sleeping together in the same bed. A cuckoo clock featuring a rooster with an erected penis goes off, which wakes up Fizzarolli under the covers

He punches the clock and stretches his arms out to the kitchen, scaring a laundry succubus wearing an apron and matching black lingerie and knee-high boots, destroying a chandelier, and pours himself some coffee. But, he burns himself so he takes the whole pot back, passing the same laundry woman from before, making her twirl in place, and sets it on a desk. He stretches out and grabs one of his hats, and stretches. Fizzarolli grabs the coffee and drinks it, before putting it away and stretching himself above Asmodeus.

Fizzarolli: Rise and shine, Ozzie!

Fizzarolli shakes an airhorn and blows it, startling Asmodeus, who lays back down.

Fizzarolli: Huehahahahaha!

Asmodeus: *groans* Ugh, again with the horn?

He turns in bed, covering his head with his pillow.

Fizzarolli: Don't blame me, blame how fuckin' fun they are!

He blows the horn again.

Fizzarolli: M'kay, SO; Today you have a meeting with the distributor about the new shipment of vvvibrators. Then you gotta host a safety meeting because of what happened with the old shipment of vvvibrators. And then, you have a nooner with Prince Stolas.

As he speaks, Asmodeus gets out of bed and puts on his robe.

Asmodeus: *sighs* You scheduled me during lunch?

Fizzarolli: Well, you're pretty good at "squeezing things in".

As he speaks he squeezes the robe in, eyeing Asmodeus' butt, before stretching onto his shoulder.

Fizzarolli: But I left time for a big ol' breakfast!

Asmodeus: Lemme guess, I'm handling that too?

Fizzarolli: I mean, unless you want me to take a crack at cooking again?

Asmodeus: Ahahahahaha— NO. Never again.

Fizzarolli: Whaaat? Maybe I could burn the milk this time!

Asmodeus: Stoooop...~

Fizzarolli: OH! You know what I'm craving? Burgers!

Asmodeus: No! It's too early for burgers, ya maniac!

Fizzarolli: Burger time! Burger time! BURGER TIME!

The two laugh together.

The scene changes to the famous showstopper casino where mastema stands at a desk looking over some maps  of the greed ring tapping a pen against his masked face

Most of the maps have writing and scribblings over them

Normally mastema would have rayden assist him with this issue of his but he was out and about with the carmine girls and he couldn't set foot in there himself without invitation and it was unlikely mammon was gonna hand out anything to him

so he was in a bind

Then he saw his assistant/secretary (though he hated that title) Jack Smith walk by with a clipboard

Mastema stretched out his arm and pulls jack into his office

Mastema: jack! Assistant extraordinaire, terrific taster of tea brit-

Jack: no

Mastema: ha wha-?

Jack: whenever you give me stupid complimentary titles it's to butter me up for a reckless request so I'm telling you now the answer is no

Mastema: come on! Raydens out and I need some reconnaissance done in a city in greed!

Jack: first of all we set foot in greed without permission we're risking civil war with mammon secondly I can barely survive up here what makes you think I'll fair?

Mastema: uhhh well?

Jack: sir this city you want me to survey is quite literally called "ransom" what do you think is going to happen there?

Mastema: look jack it'll be fine just get a few photos then phone me and I'll portal you out

Jack stretches his face out before sighing

Jack: I want a raise

Mastema: done. Also pick up some treats for yarnaby and piano if you could

Jack slumps down in a couch thinking over what he just agreed to

Mastema: relax so long as you don't go around prostrating your position you'll be fine. I mean what absolute idiot would do that?

In the kitchen, while Asmodeus hums, making breakfast, Fizzarolli opens up a newspaper. An article reads- "King of Ozz—A HYPOCRITE?!" Fizzarolli nervously crumples the paper, stuffs it into a trash bin, then proceeds to throw the entire bin out of a window but falls over, catching Asmodeus' attention. Fizzarolli quickly makes an attractive pose, which Asmodeus grins to it. The said trash can hits someone on the street. Asmodeus opens the door to the refrigerator, which lacks milk.

Fizzarolli: Yeah, yeah, I know, I can pick up some more while I'm out today.

Asmodeus: About that... *Gives Fizzarolli his breakfast* You're still going to that contest rehearsal? Without me?

Fizzarolli: Well, y-you have a packed day today, and I know you aren't big on the whole Mammon thing. So...

Asmodeus: It's the Greed Ring. One of the cities is literally called "Ransom".

Fizzarolli: Ah! You worry too much. You know I ain't afraid of ropes. 'Sides, I'm slippery~.

Asmodeus: I mean, only after I...

Fizzarolli: (mouth full) What?

Asmodeus: What? (Asmodeus blushes a bit)

Fizzarolli: Come on, Oz! I can be on my own one day!

Asmodeus: But you haven't been to the Greed Ring alone since becoming Mam's big brand figure.

Fizzarolli: Yeah, I guess, but it's not like I'm gonna stick around!

Asmodeus: I can get you an escort.

Fizzarolli: Augh! I can handle it! C'mon, Big Daddy. PWEEEEASE?

Fizzarolli pulls puppy eyes on Asmodeus.

Asmodeus: *snorts and laughs* Well, you know I can't say no to a face that cute.

Fizzarolli: Mhm! That's why I use it.

Asmodeus: Just try to stay out of trouble, Fizzy-frog.

Fizzarolli: Ahh, stop it!

Asmodeus: Noooo~!

Asmodeus picks Fizzarolli up in a tight squeeze, laughing. A small succubus walks into the room holding a stack of boxes.

Succubus Employee: Ozz, I have the new shipment of—

She stops as she sees the two. Asmodeus and Fizzarolli stare at the worker wide-eyed.

Fizzarolli: Ya mind? Trying to have an unemotional bang sesh here!

Asmodeus: Yeah! Cuz we're so NOT in love!

Fizzarolli: Yeah! Love. Is. STUPID!

The succubus sets the boxes down and walks out of the room, staring oddly at the two before closing the door.

Fizzarolli: Whew! That was close, huh?

Asmodeus: *sighs* Just come right back when it's over, and keep your phone on ya, okay?

Fizzarolli: Got it riiight here! *stretches and grabs his phone* Be riiight back after! Don't worry, Ozz! I'll be super low-key. Nobody will notice me.

Fizzarolli sips his cup of coffee, while Asmodeus facepalms in doubt.

We immediately transition to the Greed Ring, where Fizzarolli runs over a cup in a glamorous limo. He steps out onto purple carpet, while speakers and confetti blasters shaped like dildos pop out of the car. The confetti sprays over everyone, while one demon brushes it off, and another demon chokes to death on one of them. Fizzarolli walks off and his hell dogs, called quieves, come out the car and start to feast on the corpse. Fizzarolli claps and whistles to get the quieves' attention to get going. They arrive and spiral around Fizz, spinning him as he laughs. Roller skates come out of his shoes as he blasts off.

Fizzarolli: Whoa! Girls, girls!

Fizz laughs and rolls around the block with his quieves, skating at top speed, knocking over demons and hitting a trash can. His visor's built-in wipers clean all the garbage off them.

Fizzarolli: Man, it's great not being in the spotlight for once!

All of the demons glare at Fizzarolli. While he is skating, Blitzo is currently getting kicked out of a coffee shop by a Hellhound.

Blitzo: Look lady, it's not MY fault if you only know how to make coffee that tastes like piss!

Fizzarolli becomes shocked, and hits the brakes on his skates, while Blitzo stammers in fear.

Blitzo: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA!

Fizzarolli: Oh, wow. Lookee who it is.

Blitzo: Oh, fuck... You again...

Fizzarolli: Stalkin' me now, huh?

Blitzo: Oh, don't fuckin' flatter yourself, clown. I have my own life, y'know, without YOU in it.

Fizzarolli: Uh huh, sure! Blitzo.

Blitz: The "O" is silent now, bitch! And gee whiz, we've been in each other's relative vicinity TWICE, in the last FIFTEEN YEARS! That would make me, THE SHITTIEST STALKER IN HISTORY!

Fizzarolli pets his quieves.

Fizzarolli: Twice... IS ALREADY WAY TOO MUCH.

Fizzarolli shoves Blitzo out of he way and walks off. Blitzo dusts himself off and glares at Fizz.

Blitzo: Yeah, well at least I'm still actually working for my shit. And not getting everything handed to me like some pampered attention whore!

Blitzo has struck a nerve in Fizzarolli as he growls in anger. He calms down when his albino queef rubs against him and hands him a bone. Fizzarolli moves the bone to show the leash, with gold lettering saying "From Ozzie with 💛".

Fizzarolli: Yeah, well... Guess that's what resilience and talent gets ya. (chuckles) Plus, my horns were always bigger than yours. Weren't they?

It grows silent for a bit, while Blitzo stands in anger. Before Fizzarolli walks away, Blitzo charges at him and they start to get into a street fight.

Jack comes out of a store with pet food and finally having finished the survey without incident

Jack: hm oddly that went off without a hitch. Cities not so bad...except this food costed $70

As he's about to call mastema he hears a squeak near his feet

He looks down to see the quieves

Jack: aw hello! Aren't you a bunch of cuties!

The creatures make leaps towards the food

Jack: well I suppose I could spare some

He reaches in and pulls out a few meaty bones which the quieves munch on

Jack: you know it's nice to see normal hell animals compared to the two creatures at the casino

As he reaches for another bone a hellbird takes it and flys off which the quieves notice and give chase.

jack notices too late that the quieves leash has wrapped around his foot

Jack: uh oh

He then goes pulled into the street fight

The screen shifts upward to find a skyscraper-like building where Striker and Crimson who is still breathing through an oxygen mask unknowingly reside.

Crimson: So, you say you're good? *inhales air* Cuz we really need a big score right now.

Striker: The best, had a royal on the ropes just last week and nearly had the red eyed reaper killed

Alessio pours him a glass of wine, while he follows up Striker's response.

Crimson: Sure, but not dead?

Striker: It was... called off and you know that bastard can't stay dead regardless. But I have a body count in the hundreds! I ain't afraid to go after anyone. Women, kids-

Striker's speech is interrupted by one of Fizzarolli's quieves getting launched into the window outside.

Striker: And cute little-faced puppy-lookin' things. Don't matter!

Striker then catches onto the fact that some drama is going on outside. He walks over to the window to see the problem while listening to Crimson's judging.

Crimson: Hmm... I'll tell ya what. *inhales air* If you can deliver something of value... I'll consider it.

Striker: (smirking) One moment...

Striker opens the window and pulls out his lasso. He ropes the root of the problem, Fizzarolli and Blitzo and snags jacks foot, into the room and slams them against the wall, laughing sinisterly.

Crimson: Hired!  *inhales air*

Striker: Funny to run into ya again, "Blitzy!"

Striker pulls out his knife and slides toward Fizzarolli, pointing it under the chin.

Striker: And with some famous friends...

Blitzo: Oh, fuck me.

Fizzarolli: For the record, we are not friends and I don't even know this...woman?

Jack: I'm a guy!

Fizzarolli: sorry your waist just looks kinda feminine

Jack: oh come on!!

The scene cuts to Asmodeus' factory just below his palace, where they manufacture things for Ozzie's, and for general Lust Ring products. Currently, they are creating a new toy to test for the new vibrator shipment. An imp flies away with a box containing the test vibrator, while we pass some painter imps working on dildos. A transition can show two more imps fighting with dildos on the job, while we now pass to a different imp carrying the same test vibrator.

Asmodeus: Larger, you can never be too large, (laughs) you can never be too large.

We see a conveyor belt passing the test vibrator onto a hazmat-suited imp, who flies away to return the final product to Asmodeus.

Asmodeus: Hm... smaller, smaller. Get this spot right there, and that's good! I like... ooh, I like that, that's good, mhm!

Asmodeus now has the test vibrator in hand, before handing it back to the hazmat-suited imp, then looks over a blueprint to see if there's anything else needing to be modified. Two succubi then put the vibrator into the test chamber to see the results. After everyone puts on safety goggles, Asmodeus gives the thumbs up and they turn on the vibrator. The vibrator shakes violently and explodes, leaving everyone scorched, and the project is a failure.

Asmodeus groans, sitting alone at his desk, missing Fizzarolli when he looks at a painting of them together. Lightning strikes, as Fizzarolli's eyes strangely glow blue. Asmodeus is startled, both by the lightning, and his watch, signaling an alarm for his noon meeting with Stolas. We then cut to Stolas sitting on a couch in the waiting room, until Asmodeus finally opens his doors.

Asmodeus: Stolas! Hey there, birdy babe. Haven't seen you since you crashed my club, how you been? *giggles* Still gettin' yo' kink on with that feisty imp?

Stolas: Aha. Well, um, that's actually what I'm here about. You see, I, um... seem to have found myself with... feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.

Asmodeus grows unamused, assuming he's looking for something to immorally force Blitzo to love him.

Asmodeus: Well, I can tell ya, if you're looking for a love potion, you came to the wrong fucking guy. I don't fuck with that artificial bullshit! Lust shouldn't be about force... It's an ART! To be earned, and enjoyed. It's all about that journey to Pleasure Town... You feel me? (giggles)

As he speaks he picks up two cereals and/or candies shaped like a penis and lips, and shoves the penis through the lips, demonstrating his point. He takes the penis out of the lips and lifts it to where we can see a flustered Stolas through the mouth.

Stolas: Oh! No! Never, never that! I just, you see...

While Stolas is speaking, Asmodeus decides to devour his whole bowl of various sex-shaped cereals/candy.

Stolas: This imp has a business he runs. He needs to access the mortal realm to carry out his work. I know your demons are some of the only ones who can traverse freely and legally. I was wondering if you could assist me in... finding a way he could too?

As he speaks, Stolas uses his powers to conjure up Asmodeus' book and places it on the table, the book seen in "The Circus" that mentions Asmodean Crystals, surprising Asmodeus as he finishes his bowl of cereals/candy.

Asmodeus: *gasps* Oh! Hmmm, Stolas... My heart bleeds for you, but my partner— Uh... Business partner, Fizzarolli, HATES your imp guy. Blitzo, right? Yeah... HAAATES.

Asmodeus clenches his hand into a fist to demonstrate.

Stolas: He does? But why?

Asmodeus: Not my story to tell, but trust me. I would help if I could, but I can't. Sorry...

Asmodeus notices his phone ringing with a notification of a new message from Fizzarolli's contact, listed as "Froggie 🤍". He smiles and opens the notification, causing the phone to fly across the room in a grand display and project a widescreen version of the message.

Crimson: Hello, Asmodeus.

Asmodeus and Stolas grow concerned at the appearance of Crimson, and not Fizzarolli.

Crimson: You don't know me, but you don't need to. All you need to know is *inhales air* I have your little jester here with me.

The video shows Striker bringing Fizzarolli to the camera tied up with tape over his mouth. Asmodeus grows enraged at the sight of this and tries to strangely grab the hologram out of anger.

Crimson: If you want him back alive, you will give me exactly what I want.

Asmodeus: Do you have any idea who you are FUCKING WITH?!

Asmodeus' feathers glow a vivid neon version of his natural colors before his head bursts into red flames, showing his outrage.

Stolas: I... think it's a recording.

Crimson: You probably just asked if I know who I'm dealing with. And, oh yes, I know. The weakest and most non-threatening of the Sins. The king who will do whatever it takes to save the worst-kept secret *inhales air* in all of Hell.

Asmodeus grows embarrassed and turns his head away from the video, with Stolas becoming worried for him and looking concerned.

Crimson: We both know you won't risk anything happening to the clown. So be a good little bitch boy, and do the thing. My lawyers will be over shortly with the contract of demands. You have until the witching hour to sign it. Hueheheheheheheh! Now, cut. I SAID CUT IT, YA FUCKIN' MORON! *coughs violently*

The phone falls back on the table. The whole room shakes and Asmodeus ignites in rage. Stolas backs away as Asmodeus roars, making the whole room glow with a beam of fire.

The scene changes to mastemas office where he sits writing on some papers

His desk phone buzzes with an unknown FaceTime number. He answers the phone which displays crimson

Crimson: hello mastema. You don't me and quite frankly you don't deserve to but I know you and how you're able to generate enough weapons and funds in that fancy *inhales air* ass casino of yours to run the pride ring. Well as of now you'll be transferring 90% of all that to me.

*crickets chirp*

Mastema:......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ah sorry I really needed that today

Crimson: look at this way if you refuse *jack is brought into frame scared and gagged* we'll gut you're winky assistant like a hellpig

Mastema: mmhm

Crimson:....you are...not very aggressive as I thought...we're going to kill him you realize that yes?

Mastema: uh huh

Crimson: and probably torture him

Mastema: ok

Crimson: seriously we will fucking ruin this guy

Mastema: yeah I know. Now if you don't mind *hangs up*

Mastema sighs

He pushes a button on his desk

The scene changes rayden who's on his motorbike after finishing his lesson with the carmine girls

He feels a buzz in his coat and pulls out a red flashing light

Rayden: is it time of month already? Hm

Rayden turns the bike around and speeds off to greed

a mafia goon throws Fizzarolli and Jack in a cage with Blitzo, which Striker is on top of. Fizzarolli stammers in fear, while Blitzo scoots back.

Blitzo: Oh, chill out, jester. Christ on a stick, it's like you've never been tied up before!

Fizzarolli: Sure, but not by a bunch of psychos!  And a piece of shit!

Blitzo: Am I...? Okay, which of us is which in that insult?

Fizzarolli: You're both!

Blitzo: Yeah, that checks.

Jack: why am I being roped into this?

Blitzo: standard procedure Twink.

Jack: wow you're a crude person

Fizzarolli: How is this happening?! I was just supposed to grab some gas station milk and rehearse some juggling...!

Blitzo: Oh, relax, I don't know about this guy *jack glares at blitzo* but I'm sure your big royal chicken ain't gonna let anything happen to his peppy lil' fuckdoll.

Fizzarolli gets frustrated, and sits up straight to scoot in front of Blitzo.

Fizzarolli: Ohh, playin' that card, huh? Ok... What about you? Seems your tastes have gotten more... "regal", lately. Heheh...

Blitzo: Yeah, well unlike you, I fuck who I want, when I want. I'm not gonna be tied down to some big blue-blood asshole I could even fuck this sinner boy right here right now if I wanted to!

Jack scoots away from blitzo

Fizzarolli: You could've fooled me the way Princey was cozying up to you at Ozzie's.

Blitzo: Hey! Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress, it's nothing... y'know...*sighs* It's nothing else...

Fizzarolli: Then why were you even there?

Blitzo: *sweating* OTHER very important reasons, of course!

Fizzarolli: Whatever, I don't actually care.

Blitzo: I mean Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feelin' the thrill of getting dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.

Fizzarolli: ...Literally just said I don't care.

Blitzo: And then, he'll call me to see how my day was! And-

Fizz and jack tune blitz out as he rambles

Jack: he always like this?

Fizzarolli: you don't know the half of it. So you're the psycho angels secretary or something?

Jack: I prefer assistant but yes and you're asmodeus' boyfriend right?

Fizzarolli: how'd you figure that?

Jack: my boss gossips a lot and my colleague rayden spent a night at a club

Fizzarolli: you know that freaky death machine?!

Jack: regretfully and fortunately yes

Blitzo: then, he'll call me to see how my day was! And he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and LAUGH AT MY JOKES and-

Fizzarolli: (sarcastic) Oh! Well that's "definitely" your clue right there that it's all bullshit.

Blitzo: I KNOW, RIGHT?

Fizzarolli rolls his eyes, due to Blitzo not getting his obvious sarcasm.

Blitzo: He's just a fake, privileged asshole!

Fizzarolli: Sounds like you just hate him for bein' a prince. Because no one, and I mean no one pretends to care that much just for a cheap lay.

Jack: I would no I've been subjected to such circumstances

Blitzo: Point is, royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fuckin' same.

Fizzarolli: That's not...! A-always true...

Jack: yeah mastema associates with a few goetia demons they're not that bad actually

Fizzarolli: But, I guess you're right. They can't all be the same if some have taste, and some wanna fuck you.

Blitzo: Can we talk about something other than my sex life? Satan's taint, is fucking that Lust guy make this what you're all about now?!

Fizzarolli: YOU brought it up, asshole!

Striker: WOULD YOU THREE SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY?! Bicker like a couple of teen skanks...

Jack: that's hurtful...I was being civil

Striker steps down onto some boxes, then leans towards their cage.

Striker: As far as I'm concerned, you two are BOTH embarrassments to our kind for meddlin' with blue-bloods to begin with. *sighs* But at least loud-mouth here has the sense to only fuck his rich bitch, instead of bein' a little purse dog.

Blitzo: Oh, great. The fuckin' supremacist is on my side, wonderful.

Jack: if that's your entire outlook on royals you've been living under a rock pal they're not all bad. Plus I fail to see how you're that different from any other boastful royal-

Striker grabs jack by the shirt collar and pulls him against the cage

Striker: and you...you side with an angel over your own people you're a disgrace to every denizen of hell. Shame really with your figure you might go for a few million.

Crimson: HEY! Hick-for-hire! I said watch 'em, not fuck 'em. Keep ya hands off the merchandise!

Striker frowns at jack one more time, squeezing his neck before jumping off the cage.

Jack: *gags* god his breath smells worse than raydens and he never cleans his teeth

We cut back to Asmodeus, looking frustrated and tired. He is holding the lawyer's contract for Crimson's ransom.

Asmodeus: *groans* Can I just sign it already? Like, can we move this along?

Crimson's lawyer shrugs, and gives him a pen. Stolas suspects that the lawyer being fine with this could mean something's off.

Stolas: Sire, you need to know the contents of this contract, you can't just sign it. A deal made with a Sin like yourself would be everlastingly binding... Perhaps I can look it over, I'm a fast reader. (mumbles through contract) Oh! Hmmm... This is a contract giving Crimson all of Ozzie's factory assets. And, giving him permission to use Fizzarolli's head for a wall decoration.

Asmodeus grows outraged and rips the contract out of Stolas' hands.

Asmodeus: WAIT, WHAT?!

Greed Lawyer: Juuuust making sure you're paying attention! (nervous laugh) Here's the real contract.

Crimson's lawyer retrieves a stack of papers and shoves them forward on the desk.

Stolas: *claps* Oohoohoohoo! This will be fun! I love words!

Asmodeus becomes angry, and burns the fake contract.

Outside the warehouse rayden fires a grappling line from his metal arm

Rayden:

Fizzarolli struggles to escape his imprisonment, while Blitzo and jack just watches it all happen.

Blitzo: Ya know? You're really bad at this.

Fizzarolli grunts, and falls down again.

Fizzarolli: Hmmm, ya know? Last time I checked, I was a FUCKING JESTER, NOT an escape arti—

Fizz's struggling gets him zapped due to rubbing his arms together in his wrap. He shoots up, his head slams the cage, leaving an indent, and he falls back down.

Jack: you good there?

Fizzarolli: *sniffles* I just wanna go home...

Blitzo: Hmm... You want me to get you out?

Fizzarolli: *whimpering* Y-y-yes...

Blitzo: what about you sexy?

Jack: my name is jack...and I really don't have a lot of alternatives do I?

Blitzo smiles as he stands up, raising his foot to extract a knife from under his shoe.

Fizzarolli: (angered) You had a knife this whole time?!

Blitzo cuts the ropes off himself, then grabs Fizzarolli by the shoulder, startling him, with the knife pointed in his direction. Fizz whimpers, thinking he's going to stab him, but Blitzo actually cuts the tape off him, freeing his arms. He tosses him the knife. Which fizzz uses to free jack

Blitzo: Now stop bitchin' while I work this.

From below, Blitzo observes his surroundings; an imp on a forklift, goons playing on a pool table, a muscular imp stacking a card tower, and a few more demons lounging — from there, he spots the cage's remote control.

Blitzo: Ahhh, bingo!

Fizzarolli: So what now, genius?

Blitzo: *points down* See that remote?

Fizzarolli: I mean, I could stretch down there...

Blitzo: No, no... I have a better idea.

Blitzo shakes the cage, causing some boxes to fall. This creates a domino effect, as the boxes collapse nearby a few demons, throwing his beer mug in the air. As the muscular imp finishes his card tower, the rest of the demons cheer, but the moment is quickly ruined as the beer mug knocks it all down; causing the muscular imp, in a fit of rage, to pull out a gun and shoot nearly everywhere and everyone.

Mafia Imp: Keep it down! I'm shootin' 8-ball ova here!

Forklift Imp: The fuck's goin' on?

As the gunfire continues, the imp on the forklift gets shot, causing the truck to spin out of control, knocking everything in its way.

Mafia Imp: SHUT THE FUCK UP—

He notices the forklift approaching him.

Mafia Imp: Oh, fuck me...

The forklift knocks him in the air in slow motion with a few pool balls in motion, while Fizzarolli and Blitzo are observing the whole situation, with Blitzo enjoying popcorn. Amidst the explosion, the white cue ball lands on the scaffolding and rolls closer to the far end of the warehouse. Blitzo, with a drink, shifts Fizzarolli's head to see where this goes, with the cue ball making a stop, right above the remote. As it falls over, it hits the "DOWN" button—but nothing seems to happen.

Jack: Well... That didn't w—

At the last second, the cage containing Blitzo jack and Fizzarolli immediately drops down and collapses. As the smoke subsides, jack gets up dizzy Fizzarolli coughs while Blitzo dusts himself off while smirking, knowing his plan to free themselves had worked. Fizzarolli just flips him off.

Fizzarolli: Show off...

Suddenly, Crimson and his goons come in upon hearing the commotion. Crimson lifts up a cucumber slice to see Blitzo and Fizzarolli have freed themselves and caused a mess in the process.

Crimson: THE FUCK?! GET THEM!

One of the goons fire a net gun at Fizzarolli, but Blitzo pushes him out of the way. He grabs his hand to escape from the rapid gunfire. Blitzo spots a nearby gun and fires back. While Fizzarolli and jack make a run for it, two of the goons push down some boxes to prevent them from escaping, causing him to run back where he came from. As a bigger demon approaches fizz, he throws a juggling stick, and blowing an airhorn. But he still gets caught, then throws a banana peel, but no one slips on it.

Fizzarolli: Augh, this usually works! (struggling to break free) Goddammit!

One of the Mafia Imps approach him, about to hit him with a cane.

Fizzarolli: FUCK!

Before he can get hit, jack shoots both the demons with a stray pistol  Fizzarolli then bumps back to Blitzo.

Blitzo: What the fuck, Fizz?! How is someone this flexible, this useless in combat?! Even the assistants holding his own surprisingly

Jack: are you always this condescending?!

Blitzo dodges every one of the mafia's attacks with Fizzarolli beneath him.

Fizzarolli: I'm a performer! I sing, I dance, I promote products that I don't actually use... I don't do danger!

With a few of the demons out for the count, the trio make a run for it.

Blitzo: Well good to know you're still a wimpy circus puss.

The three climb up a ladder while Blitzo quickly shoots a mafia member aiming for them.

Fizzarolli: *growls* I'd give you a comeback, but that'd imply I give a shit what you think.

Fizz turns away from Blitzo on the ladder and nearly falls over before Blitzo pulls him up.

Blitzo: You always cared what I thought!

Jack: uh guys is now the time for some trauma flashback?

Fizzarolli: *chuckles* After what you did to me?

Blitzo: I didn't do anything! It was an accident!

Fizzarolli: AN ACCIDENT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Cut to a flashback showing a younger Fizzarolli on a circus ball, while balancing spinning plates on sticks.

Fizzarolli: (offscreen) You always had it out for me, because people liked me better!

A younger Blitzo looks from the side of the tent with jealousy. Cut to a similar scene, but with the two as teenagers, where Cash Buckzo hands teen Fizzarolli a birthday card, with the front reading, "Wish you were my son".

Fizzarolli: You wanted me gone, because you were jealous! Just wanting the spotlight!

Teen Fizzarolli looks over to Blizo with a smile as he waves to him, but teen Blizto glares at him with envy and hatred as he turns his back on him with the curtains flapping at his wake. Suddenly, the curtains ignite with green fire.

Fizzarolli: *still offscreen* I looked up to you, I thought you were my best friend...

The fire spreads quickly as the other circus performers including Cash Buckzo scream and run for the nearest exits while Teen Fizzarolli is knocked to the ground and quickly scrambles away to escape from the advancing fire.

Fizzarolli: YOU RUINED MY LIFE!

Scene cuts to a brief moment of a box full of fireworks mislabeled "FIYAWOIKS" and Teen Fizzarolli opening a flap in hopes of a way to escape from the burning tent, but he's instead met with the fireworks. With no time to react, the fireworks explode before Fizzarolli's eyes and the whole circus burst into flames with his clown nose flying towards the screen.

Fizzarolli: And then you just left me...

Once Fizzarolli's clown nose heads to the camera, transition to show a mangled and nearly lifeless Fizzarolli dragging his bloody body desperately towards Teen Blitzo who was standing in front of him with his right hand covering the right side of his face after the explosion.

Fizzarolli: I lost so much because of you.

Next the two shots show Fizzarolli's broken horns disintegrating and chipping off, the camera turning to focus on Fizzarolli's eye watering with pain and desperation as a silhouette of Teen Blitzo in his pupil turns his back on Fizzarolli.

Fizzarolli: And you selfish piece of shit...

Teen Fizzarolli stretches his hand out desperately for help from his brother-in-arms while the flesh melts off his still burning and bleeding arm, showing his bones.

Fizzarolli: YOU DIDN'T EVEN CARE!

Shows the next scene through Fizzarolli's eyes as he watches Blitzo run the opposite direction away from Fizzarolli towards another blazing tent while Fizzarolli slowly closed his eyes.

Blitzo: I DID CARE!

Now cutting to the present day with Blitzo turning around to face Fizzarolli with tears in his eyes, Fizzarolli appears mildly taken aback at Blitzo's revelation.

Blitzo: It WAS an accident! IT WAS!

One of Crimson's henchmen climbs up from a nearby aisle with his gun pointed at the trios direction, Fizzarolli reacts quickly and grabs Blitzo  and jack as his robotic limbs extended to avoid the numerous bullets the henchman was shooting at them then Fizzarolli swings himself and the pair under one of the shelves just as another henchman crawled up next to his comrade.

Blitzo: Ok, you're right, it was all my fault, ok?

The two taking a breath while taking cover behind some boxes.

Blitzo: I... I should've done more to help, I was... I was TRYING. There was so much going on... I was trying to get help, Fizz! I just...It was still my fault...

Fizzarolli: Glad you could admit it. Want a medal?

Jack elbows fizz

Blitzo: Look, I'm sorry, Fizz...

A brief flashback jumping back to the past but this time from Blitzo's perspective as he turned away from brother-in-arms and gazed down at a letter with a rose in his hand which was meant for Fizzarolli, marching off with angry tears as Blitzo shoves aside an imp with a birthday cake, causing him to drop the cake and set aflame to the circus tents.

Blitzo: I am so sorry you got so hurt...

Teen Blitzo throws the letter to the ground aggressively while the imp that was holding the cake attempts to put out the flames as the camera shifts to the right to set on a trio of purple, green and pink hellhorses chilling on the other side, before the fire startles the green one, causing it to shriek and making the other spooked horses flee.

Blitzo: I'm sorry for what you lost, and I... I know I can never make it right.

The scene soon settles on chaotic mayhem with imps running and screaming for safety as Blitzo looks around in a state of shock in front of the SAME tent that Fizzarolli was in that the fireworks exploded. The impact causes him several burning scars, covering his right eye.

Blitzo: But you have no idea what I lost in that fire...

When directing his fellow circus performers, Blitzo turns over to one specific tent that was entirely engulfed in flames, he shows pure fear on his face as he rushes over to the tent and the scene cuts to a photo of him and Barbie Wire hugging their mother as the fire burns up the photo and now shows the present day.

Blitzo: I mean it's... it's all my fault. I'd hate me too. (shedding a tear)

Fizzarolli looks up at Blitzo with a sorrowful expression, but Blitzo quickly wipes away the tear before Fizz can acknowledge it.

Blitzo: I mean, I do hate— SHIIIIIIIIIIT!

A goon appears out of nowhere and holds Blitzo in a headlock with a smug grin but it's short-lived (literally) as Blitz pulls the gun under his captor's chin and blow off his head offscreen, with Fizzarolli witnessing it happen and the group put their heads back into the game as the trio scampered through the shelf hurriedly As jack looks around alert

Fizzarolli: So, why didn't you try to tell me any of this? Or come see me? Even once would've been fine!

Blitzo: I tried... You were all I had left, Fizz. But they told me you didn't want to see me.

Fizzarolli: I never told them that!

Blitzo: Bullshit... You didn't?

Fizzarolli: No! And no one told me you came!

Eventually, they both share a look of realization.

Both: Oooohhh...

A goon climbs up the ladder and attempts to attack Blitzo and Fizzarolli. jackuses his gun to blow up the goon's head.

Blitzo: (panicked) WAAAOOOHHH, CHRIST ON A STICK!

Two other demons walk up to the dead demon on the floor below them.

Fizzarolli: TRYING TO HAVE A FUCKIN' EMOTIONAL MOMENT, HERE!

Jack: can we focus on surviving please?!

It cuts back to Stolas and Asmodeus still talking with Crimson's lawyer about the contract. Asmodeus looks at his watch as time flies by, not looking very happy. Stolas is pacing around the room holding the contract and lecturing.

Stolas: Okay, so! I believe this draft allows for some factory ownership, specifically located in the Greed Ring... With allocated funds going to your client for the foreseeable future... While ensuring the safe return of one "Fizzarolli".

Stolas slams the contract on the table and glares, sliding it towards the lawyer.

Greed Lawyer: Yeah sure, sounds good... Now lemme just re-read thissssssuh.

The lawyer reads the contract and drinks out of his coffee mug which says "Live Laugh Law". At this point, Asmodeus is getting impatient.

Asmodeus: HURRY UP!

Greed Lawyer: (smugly) Yelling won't make me read faster.

Asmodeus starts turning red as his anger and flames grow hotter. Stolas, whose cape gets burned by the flames, quickly stomps them out.

It cuts back to Blitzo Jack and Fizzarolli. Fizzarolli throws a goon far, and he was back-to-back with Blitzo and jack. Goons were running at them both.

Fizzarolli: Look! Misunderstanding or no, it's hard to just forgive you.

Fizzarolli grabs Blitzo and pulls him closer to the goons as Blitzo kills them.

Fizzarolli: It's been fifteen years and... That's so much time... But!

Fizzarolli continues to fling Blitzo around as Blitzo continues shooting goons.

Fizzarolli: I guess you didn't really ruin my life.

Blitzo: What, you're telling me getting blown up didn't ruin your life?

Jack: you'd be surprised how little that can deter certain people

Blitzo: wow you must know fucked up people!

Fizzarolli: It was painful... *hits a goon with Blitzo* and challenging, and y'know *puts Blitzo down* FUCK YOU STILL, BUT... It's not like I'm broken. And I now have someone who understands me and...

Fizzarolli and Blitzo fight more goons before landing to the ground.

Fizzarolli: HYAH, HYAH, FUCK YOU! My life has actually been pretty great.

Blitzo: Yeah, that's lovely. You got a good thing going with that horny rooster fucker, don't ya?

Fizzarolli: Oh yeah, it's been... *blushes* Fantastic... (flustered) UH, CUZ YOU KNOW, IT'S A GREAT GIG! And, hehe, and he's got the BIGGEST COCK! You know? LIKE *stretches arms to form shape of testicles* MASSIVE! I mean imagine, like *stretches arms to sides* THE BIGGEST! JUST A *makes arms into circle* GIANT, HUGE, LIKE A KAIJU! But it's a cock, ya know what I mean? LIKE A BIG MONSTER! It's BIG, *motions handjob with hands* it's HUGE—

Blitzo: woah woah you're giving the sinner a heartthrob!

Jack was now beet red and having a tiny nosebleed from hearing the description of asmodeus' package

Blitzo: man wonder what your libido must be like if that's making you freeze

Jack: shut up

Fizzarolli: hey primal lust ain't nothing to be ashamed of

Jack: I'm not some primal sex crazed maniac! I'm just pent up! I don't get out often I'm sexually introverted person!!

The imps can't help  but laugh at jack who's flustered and defensive

the goons start to slowly corner them. Striker pushes them aside and walks forward.

Crimson: If ya wanna prove yourself, cowboy, here's your chance!

Striker grins and walks towards them.

Rayden is seen sneaking around in the dark planting explosives on the warehouse support beams

Striker: You been a pain in my ass long enough, Blitz.

Striker's eyes glow menacingly.

Striker: NOW, I'm gon' break you like a FUCKIN' HORSE!

He grabs his rope and pulls it. Fizzarolli looks concerned.

Blitzo: Ohhhh, don't you dare talk sexy to ME.

Jack: sorry what?!

Fizzarolli: You're still on the horse thing?!

Striker laughs as he, Crimson, and the goons corner them more.

Crimson: truly a shame the Twink with the lady hips has to bite the dust too

Jack feels something snap

Jack: my waist...is not FEMINIE!!

Rayden is initially caught off guard by jacks outburst while he finishes arming the bombs

Jack starts moving on the gang

Jack: I HAVE A CLOSED DIET!! I WORK A VERY VERY AT TIMES STRESSFUL JOB AND FOR THE BETTER PART OF MY LIFE I'VE HAD TO SUFFER THROUGH VARIOUS FORMS OF SEXUAL INTERCOURSE THAT DRAINED ME OF ALL POSSIBLE STAMINA!! *rayden uses the distraction to drag off and kill a few mafia imps* SO FUCK!! OF COURSE IT LOOKS SKINNY! BECAUSE ALL THOSE ACTIVITIES WRECKED MY POSTURE SO I HAVE TO WEAR A BLOODY CORSET JUST TO KEEP MYSELF UP. SO FUCK ALL OF YOU!! *heavy breaths*

Everyone in the building looks a bit caught off guard

Blitzo: wow

Fizzarolli: he really is pent up

Jack:.....wow....I've never yelled at anyone like that...I don't like it

Striker: enjoy it cause it ain't happening again *cocks pistol*

Jack: eep!

Before he can fire  the explosives go off making the building cave in

Fizzarolli grabs jack and Blitzo who flip severyone else off as they head out. As that happens, the whole building starts caving in. Striker stands there wide-eyed in shock, and Alessio puts his hand in front of a visibly confused yet surprised Crimson as the entire warehouse collapses on top of them all, and catches fire. Outside, Fizzarolli and Blitzo run free, laughing as well. They both stop, panting.

Blitzo: fuck me what a stroke of luck! You got fire in your lungs jacky

Jack: I don't like it! I'm not that kind of person!

Fizzarolli: well this persons got a lot of impressive grit

[Fizzarolli laughs, then stops when they  find a broken truck. They both give each other a smirk. Blitzo breaks the window as they both head over to the truck and jury rig it. Blitzo climbs over the front of the car and opens the door for Fizzarolli.]

Blitzo: I guess, royal jesters first?

Fizzarolli bites his lip a little while looking away and somewhat covering his mouth before heading into the passenger's seat until he is dragged away by a rope abruptly. Blitzo screams and looks out the window. He hears Fizzarolli screaming. Blitzo and jack get on the roof of the car and points guns at them.

Blitzo: Get... Your... FUCKING shit-stain claws off him!

The smoke clears to show Striker with Fizzarolli in his arm, laughing manically with his blessed revolver in his other hand.

Striker: You think I'm just gon' let you get away after all this?

He spins the revolver in his hand then sticks it in Fizzarolli's cheek.

Striker: I'm THROUGH losin' these fights! This worthless little pet REEKS of his over-bloated master... I'll at least enjoy gettin' rid of 'im.

Fizzarolli: Okay... Is it bad that I'm getting hard?

Striker digs the revolver deeper (haha, deeper) in Fizzarolli's cheek, as Blitzo looks over at two gasoline cans behind him.

Striker: SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHY'S IT ALWAYS A SEX THING?!

Rayden looms behind striker

Rayden: hard to say maybe you're just the outcast of imps

Striker goes pale

Striker: oh shit

He turns around trying to shoot rayden who dodges the shot the gasoline cans, which catches fire. Striker slowly turns away with a scared look and then the gasoline can explodes.

Fizzarolli flies, hitting a billboard and falling to the ground surrounded by green flames. Striker frantically rolls around on the ground to put out the flames on him, making distressed critter noises before running off.

Blitzo looks at Fizzarolli, who is still surrounded by flames like he was many years ago in the circus fire. He tries to use his robotic limbs to reach a car and swing to safety, but his arms are too damaged and malfunction, sparking as he starts crying.

Blitzo: FIIIIZZZZZ!

Blitzo jumps on a barrel and rolls through the yard, jumping and grabbing onto swinging bars and springboarding off cars. He runs across the crane arm and uses his tail to hang onto the crane hook, reaching out for Fizzarolli. They successfully grab hands and get flung in the air. They grab onto each other as they are about to fall until Fizzarolli stretches his robotic arm and grabs onto the crane, making them land safely. Blitzo tries to comprehend on what just happened until Fizzarolli angrily and violently shakes him while yelling.

Fizzarolli: YOU BLEW ME UP AGAIN, YOU FUCKIN' PRICK!

Blitzo: I did... But this time, I stuck around.

Fizzarolli moves away from Blitzo, holding his broken arm and frowning, then smiles and wraps him in a hug with his working arm. Blitzo, who wasn't expecting it, hugs him back while crying a bit.

Rayden: do me a favour don't kiss

The two turn around to see rayden holding a dizzy and slightly burnt jack over his shoulder

Blitzo: aw rayden you came to save-

Rayden: jack...you two were collateral saves

Fizzarolli:  hm you're a bit of an asshole aren't you?

Jack: it's nothing new ugh trust me

Cut back to Stolas, Asmodeus, and Crimson's lawyer. Stolas is asleep with a contract on his head, snoring like an owl. Contracts litter the table, and Asmodeus is exhausted and pissed. He checks his watch again as the lawyer takes another sip from his coffee, then Asmodeus stands up and slams the table as he has had enough of the lawyer's constant stalling, immediately waking Stolas up.

Asmodeus: THAT'S IT!

Asmodeus grabs the lawyer by the shirt as his flames grew higher and his face became redder.

Asmodeus: I'm going to fucking END YOUR LIFE!

[Suddenly they hear the curtains. they turn to see Fizarrolli enter the scene, panting heavily while clenching his arm.]

Asmodeus: FIZZY!

Asmodeus shoves the Lawyer into the chair and heads to Fizzarolli, who tears up happily.

Fizzarolli: OZZIE!

Asmodeus scoops Fizzarolli up as they twirl around and hug for a moment, before Asmodeus affectionately showers Fizzarolli with kisses. Stolas smiles before noticing the lawyer gathering up all the contract papers before leaving.

Stolas: Hmm. Get fucked, little one.

Stolas then leaves. The lawyer then puts his briefcase on the desk trying to fit as many papers into it as he could, even stepping on it to try to close it, but he hears Fizzarolli chuckling before seeing him and Asmodeus standing above him. They smirk to one another before advancing on the shark demon who backs away to the chair as the camera scrolls to the window.

Lawyer: OH, MY SATAN!

Lightning strikes as it cuts to outside Asmodeus' office as he leaves with Fizzarolli in his arms, closing the door behind him and leaving demon blood on it.

Asmodeus: *sighs* I'm so glad you're okay, babe...You ain't never leaving the palace without protection, AGAIN.

Asmodeus walks down the hall with Fizzarolli while doing some romantic but not sexual actions like nuzzling. The succubi give them shocked looks. Fizzarolli blushes from embarrassment.

Fizzarolli: Oz... You know there's eyes around...

Asmodeus: I know. I don't care. Cuz they know, if they tell anyone, I'll...

He punches a statue of a nude succubus right in the dick, causing a large crack and large chunks to fall off the statue.

Asmodeus: BREAK THEM.

After the succubi hear and see that, they immediately leave the room. Fizz laughs while Asmodeus presses a buttons on the elevator.

Fizzarolli: Well, don't worry, today I learned that I hate going outside!

Asmodeus: You won't have to again.

Fizzarolli: I'm sorry... I got a little messy...

Asmodeus sets down a box and opens it, and gets out a new arm to replace Fizzarolli's broken one.

Asmodeus: You don't have to apologize for getting banged up, babe! I'm just sorry I couldn't be there...

Fizzarolli: It's okay, Oz... Guess I'm just not used to this kind of thing.

Asmodeus: It's been an intense day. Just take it easy, okay?

Fizzarolli: Oh, it's fine! I'm FINE! REALLY! You know I bounce back fast!

Fizzarolli giggles but then winces in pain over his broken arm, but still manages a thumbs up.

Fizzarolli: Soooo... besides my whole scary hostage thing, how was your day?

Asmodeus sets down a box and grabs some scissors.

Asmodeus: Well, I was stuck with Stolas the whole time, who, by the way, asked me, to give him one of my crystals, as a gift for that guy you hate! So! I told him... "NO!" Mhmm!

Fizzarolli: Meh... Fuck it. Let him have it.

Asmodeus: Excuse me?

Fizzarolli: Yeah, why not? You could say... he earned it.

Asmodeus: Alright then... ♫Anything for you...♫

The scene shifts to Asmodeus installing Fizzarolli's new robotic arm, which activates as soon as it's attached. Fizzarolli starts stretching and jumping around until he lands in Asmodeus's arms, the latter walking to the door.

Fizzarolli: Now! I don't know about you, but having a violent brush with crime has given me a whole mess of new kinks! You wanna go... "make a mess?"

Asmodeus: You really think that's a good idea right now, Fizz?

Fizzarolli: Sure, don't you?

Asmodeus: Well... Obviously.

Fizzarolli laughs as he snuggles with Asmodeus, with the doors closing in on them.

Fizzarolli: Meow meow, cuddle meow...

The scene changes back to mastema who is looking over the photos jack took in greed

He places them all onto a large map of the rings he steps back to get a full look chuckling to himself

He reaches for his phone and dials someone

Mastema: everything's in place for the big event I believe I can handle the rest by myself from here...

 

Chapter 25: Rayden's Lesson 8 A Real Target

Rayden comes into a barren field in front of Clara and Odette setting up a table with various firearms

Clara: for once one of your lessons feels simple...we are doing a shooting range right?

Rayden: correct

Odette: oh thank satan a normal lesson

Clara: but uh...where are the shooting dummies?

Rayden walks out in front of the girls

Rayden: right smack dab in your line of sight

Clara/odette:............what?

Odette: I should've known it looked too good to be true

Clara: you want us to shoot you?

Rayden: correct

Odette: so I assume these rounds are full of blanks?

Rayden: nope they're all real. You will shoot me with the intent to kill

Odette: why?!

Rayden: last I checked real people weren't flat pieces of metal with targets painted on them. You'll be killing real people so best to practice on a real person

Clara: what if we accidentally kill you?!

Rayden:.........................not possible. Even if you did gravely wound me there's an adtress you can  deliver me too and he'll fix everything

Clara: "he"?

Rayden: for the sake of your lunches best not to meet him

Odette: look we're not shooting you

Rayden: eh you will

Odette: dare I ask why?

Rayden: I will exploit your anger and rage bait you

Clara: and how will you-?

Rayden drops a match on a pile of the Clara favourite clothes

Clara: *horrified yelling*

He then pulls out various boxes of small parts that the girls had spent a week organizing and mixes them all up in a frenzy

Odette has a pained look on her face

The girls both grab a gun and shoot in the chest as he falls over

Odette: oh my god we shot him.....OH MY GOD WE SHOT HIM!!!

Clara: shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit!!

Rayden then gets to his feet cracking his neck

The girls just stare at him as he plucks a bullet from his abdomen and flicks it to the ground

Rayden: hm well you hit the targets vital points just fine but aim higher next time yeah?

Clara: you are a very sick and horrifying man

Rayden: perhaps...now let's talk bazookas

Odette: NOPE I'M DONE TODAY

Clara: agreed!

the girls walk away while rayden follows

Unseen by the girls the bullet rayden pulled from his body is sizzling on the ground melting

 

Chapter 26: MAMMON'S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL (ft Fizzarolli)

The episode begins with a flashback, showing a giant stadium at the center of the Greed Ring where thousands of spectators are watching the stage at the front. Spotlights shine everywhere before green flames sprout at the stands.

Announcer: (offscreen) Alright, folks! Give it up for the king of all things greeeen! Hell's number one clown! The money-maker himself!

A giant sign pops up from the stands and makes a spinning slot motion like a slot machine before it stops to a jackpot, revealing the name of the sign: Mammon. The scene switches to the spectators all cheering on for the one demon to appear on stage. One of the spectators is the younger teenage Blitzo and Fizzarolli before the fire accident. The boys were all screaming and they were making applause for the most popular figure in Greed Ring.

Announcer: (offscreen) The sin you all looove most - Mammon, King of Greeeed!

In a rockstar entrance scene, Mammon slides on stage with a guitar pops up on stage with green flames and confetti bursting from behind him, wearing sunglasses.

Mammon: Heya, implings! How're you little c**** (honk) doing tonight? I hope you're ready for the best fucking show you will ever see in your...

An explosion occurs on scene before his face gets a close-up.

Mammon: ...shit lives!

Like everyone else, Blitzo and Fizzarolli are having the time of their lives, screaming their lungs out.

Crowd: Mammon, Mammon, Mammon!

Mammon: Right. I got tons of really fuckin' cool *spins his guitar* shit for you 'ere tonight. But, first, how many of you worthless bitches wanna be big clowns like me someday?

Although, Mammon couldn't hear Blitzo and Fizzarolli screaming their lungs out, then they excitedly raise their hands up, in hopes of getting noticed by him.

Fizzarolli: I do, I do!

Blitzo: Me, me, me, me, me!

Mammon: Well, I'm happy to announce that I will be starting up a new, yearly clown pageant!

Just as he was making the announcement, the camera scene pans out to reveal a giant sign behind Mammon that saids, "Mammon's Super Fucking Rad as Shit Clown Pageant" before more smoke explosions happen on stage, accompanied with fireworks and confetti.

Crowd: YEEEAAAHH!!

Then the camera screenshot zooms in on Mammon up close.

Mammon: You know- Like one 'a them fucked up beauty contests, but for clowns, so it's better!

The camera pans out again with the sign that says: "It's Better" before arrows point at the sign. Even more fireworks and confetti are set off then before. The scene switches back to Mammon again.

Mammon: Just for all you aspiring, clown kids out there!

Then he picks up an imp child with glasses.

Mammon: A new chance to work with me, Mammon!

As he was explaining this, Blitzo finds it very uncomfortable just by thinking about it, making a look of uncertain disgust, while Fizzarolli was staring at Mammon with bright eyes of admiration.

Mammon: And be the new face of my clown-ish brand!

Then he pulls the imp kid back like a rubber band before throwing him off-stage.

Mammon: I can't wait to see all the new talent I can exploi- *catches himself*- u-um, fuck. Wait, I mean enjoy *nervous laughter* uh, watching me grow my empire! Also, if you're a chick, maybe give up on your dreams now. Cause, I'm not gonna lie: women just ain't funny. *pauses*

the writer's credits fade into view as Mammon pauses, sporting the name Vivienne Medrano. The credits abruptly dissapear when Mammon Starts speaking again

Mammon: ANYWAY! My plan is to find the new face of my brand, YEAH! So, they gotta bring the good shit! The winner will get to be like the son I never had, and I'll be like the stepdad that will love you when it's convenient!

Switching to teenage Blitzo and Fizzarolli, Fizzarolli continues to look at Mammon with exciting admiration, while Blitzo turns sour after realizing what a letdown Mammon was since he's trying to make a scam out of everyone in the crowd.

Fizzarolli: Wow!

Blitzo just heard Fizzarolli and looks beside him with one eyebrow raised in surprise. Then the scene comes back to Mammon.

Mammon: You might be a lunchbox, an action figure, Saturday morning cartoon. Hell, I might even make a sex robot of ya! I don't know! I mean, if we'll make money, sure. But it's not weird.

Then he spots a random imp in the crowd and then he points at the one with glasses.

Mammon: You're weird, you sick fuck! And, if you say it's exploitation, fuck you!

As Mammon was going on ranting, the scene switches to the stage. The crowd was dead silent after hearing his complains.

Mammon: It's not exploitation! If you think that then you're a dickhead. Anyway, CLOWNS!

As he finishes, a horde shadowy figures of clowns and whatever kinds of demons appear behind Mammon. The crowd continues cheering, even as the frontmost rows of the audience, including Fizzarolli and Blitzo are buried under the mass of clowns.

Crowd: ALRIGHT! LET'S GO, YEEAAA- AAAAAA-

 

Then the scene changes to the aftermath of the rock-style concert showing from Mammon. Teenage Blitzo and Fizzarolli are walking down the street after the whole clown swarming fiasco in the stadium.

Blitzo: Alright, I'm gonna say it. That was too many clowns.

Fizzarolli: I have to win that pageant someday. Can you imagine how amazing it would be to get to work with him?

Blitzo: What's the point? Isn't being the star of our imp circus enough? Plenty of people already know who you are, Fizz. You don't need to go work for Mammon like some creepy mascot.

Fizzarolli: It's not about that! It's getting to work with my idol.

His eyes sparkling with admiration.

Fizzarolli: I just love that he's giving someone new the chance to be in the spotlight! He's an inspiration.

While Fizzarolli was daydreaming, Blitzo was still having uncertainty of Fizzarolli's expectations.

Blitzo: Well he's- definitely something alright. I mean, I dunno, was it worth all our savings just to have him put on an over-hyped commercial, and then bitch about taxes, and then assault us with clowns, vomit, and pass out on stage?

Fizzarolli: *laughs* So worth it!

Unbeknownst to them, a stranger appears behind the light post, looking at them from behind like a creepy stalker before he scurries away like a raccoon.

Fizzarolli: *sighs* Blitzo, do you think I could win if I worked really hard? - I think...

Blitzo: I think if anyone's gonna be the new clown face on everything

Blitzo grabs Fizzarolli by the head, gives him a nuzzle and chuckles.

Blitzo: -it'll be you, Fizz.

As the two are talking, the stalker appears in front of them, under a light post shining on him.

Burnie Burnz: Holy, shit! You're Fizzarolli! Oh, MAN! Your stuff is great!!

Fizzarolli is creeped out by the sudden appearance of a crazed fan standing before him.

Fizzarolli: (nervously) Oh- hey, there. Thank you, I appreciate that.

Fizzarolli and Blitzo find the crazed fan hard to ignore, so they try to walk past him to get away from him. But just as they were ahead, the crazed fan zips past them to be in their way, stopping them from leaving.

Fizzarolli: Woah- oh- okay.

Burnie Burnz: After seeing your shows, I wanted to get into clown performing, too!

While Fizzarolli was looking a bit nervous, but Blitzo looked like he didn't care.

Burnie Burnz: I'm really good!

Fizzarolli gives a nervous chuckle and he heads toward him to give the crazed fan a handshake as a sign of appreciation. On the other hand, Blitzo, was scowling at the crazed fan, and somehow, he recognizes him.

Blitzo: Hey, aren't you that creep who's always trying to sniff around our dressing rooms?

However, as Fizz was about to give him a handshake, he stops, suddenly, Burnie grabs hard on it and then he pulls Fizzarolli up close to his face, completely oblivious to Blitzo's presence.

Burnie Burnz: I have the best idea for a duo performance between us, that should spice up your act. Picture this: We start it like a romantic, ballroom dance or a-

Blitzo: Dude, weird fuckin' pitch. Fuck off!

Burnie Burnz: I was talking to the clown, asshole!

Then Burnie twists Fizzarolli around to face away from Blitzo so he can continue on with his crazy sexual obsession with him.

Burnie Burnz: I'm sorry, Fizzie. I'm not normally so aggressive, I promise. I've just waited my whole life for an opportunity like this!

Up close of the Burnie's glasses reflecting the anxiously nervous Fizzarolli.

Burnie Burns: With your fame, and my raw, undiscovered talent, I know we can-

Blitzo: Hey, shit-dick, beat it now or I'll make ya swallow your fangs!

Blitzo has had enough of this creepy stalking moment and he comes up to break it up. Burnie keeps on ranting as if Blitzo was not there.

Burnie Burnz: Fizz! You don't want me to leave, right? Tell him you don't want me to go!

Fizzarolli, now very uncomfortable about their encounter, decides to not deal with this anymore and pulls his hand back.

Fizzarolli: I- uhm- We have to go now. Thanks, though!

Fizzarolli leaves the crazed fan. Then Blitzo shoves past him with one hand out of the way with a deadpanned look. Then Burnie realizes what has happened and holds his arm in a heartbroken pain and collapses to the ground in anguish.

Burnie Burnz: Eugh! Fiiizz! FIZZAROLLIIII!

Fizzarolli throws one nervous glance behind to Burnie before leaving with Blitzo.

Burnie Burnz: Fine! Fuck you! You think you're better than me, you elitist prick? Your act's fucking trash anyways!

The scene comes back to Blitzo and Fizzarolli with Blitzo looking back with disgust.

Blitzo: Cheeeese and hot sauce Fizz, your fans are something else.

Fizzarolli: What if my acts are trash? What if I'm never good enough?

Blitzo: Hey, hey. Don't let one asshole get to you, 'kay? You're- you are plenty good enough.

Fizzarolli: But, I have to be perfect.

Blitzo: *groans* Do you?

Fizzarolli: I'll just have to keep practicing, and someday, maybe, I'll be good enough for M-

 

The sweet and tender moment between Blitzo and Fizzarolli is cut short by a TV static scene that blocks out the scene before it apparently fixes itself to a flashforward, where an explosion occurs as Mammon reappears on screen.

Mammon: It's me, Mammon! And I'm here to announce the amazing new brand -

He showcases the new robotic android of the original Fizzarolli.

Mammon: Fizzie! We got a Fizzie for every occasion!

The commercial shows various Robo Fizzes that are branded for every purposes and skills such as a small, plush one being stomped on, one posing as a fireman, a therapist, one waiting in a shopping line, as a doctor, one that was big and obese before deflating into being small and skinny, one where Hellhound kids were chewing on while fighting over it, one being used by a teen imp as a chair, three horny female imps licking and sucking on another one.

Mammon: We got fluffy, toy Fizzie, fireman Fizzie, therapist Fizzie, wait in line for you Fizzie, doctor Fizzie: beeps every time it senses cancer! Fat Fizzie, skinny Fizzie, so many Fizzies! And if you wanna fuck 'em, you can! We got Fizzies for the kids, Fizzies for the teens, and Fizzies for you sick, fucking degenerate adults! We got 'em all! All based on my new face, Fizzieee!

Mammon then brings up the adult Fizzarolli on camera. He appears to be nervously smiling with a bead of sweat on his forehead. He jabs a thumb to himself to show he's the one and only real Fizzarolli.

Fizzarolli: That's me! *uncomfortable laughter*

Mammon: Buy yours now! Do it!

The commercial scene zooms out with a giant "Buy" logo behind Mammon and Fizzarolli. Fizzarolli makes one last nervous chuckle before the commercial explodes in the scene.

Back to the present, with Fizzarolli looking into his mirror, focused on a grey patch with a scar over his right eyebrow with great concern. Then he begins searching around the vanity area for something as Asmodeus stands behind the couch nearby.

Fizzarolli: Oh, fuck. Mammon is gonna notice that. Ozzie! Where did my foundation go?!

Asmodeus: This is the tenth year in a row you've done this stupid pageant, Froggie. And you win everytime! How come you're always so dead set on this?

Fizzarolli: I wanna make Mammon proud, okay? He's- really passionate about the craft of clown. He expects perfection, so I- I gotta be perfect.

Fizzarolli slumps into the couch as Asmodeus approaches him.

Asmodeus: Fizz, you ain't perfect! Nobody is! How abooout, you sit this one out, and let someone else take the spotlight? You deserve a break. Or a vacation, where you don't have to fend off creeps the entire time.

Fizzarolli: *scoffs* I had to fend of creeps before the robots, I just have thirstier ones, now. Besides, I just- have to do this!

Asmodeus: *frowns* Lemme rephrase: I don't like how many creeps you have now, thanks to Mammon. And I don't like designing sex toys with your likeness for him! Pretty sure you feel the same.

Fizzarolli: (frustrated) I just don't think about it, a toy is a toy! *calms down* Look, Ozz, I'm fine. Working for Mammon is a big deal to me. He's been my idol since I was five, I can't just- not compete! I'd be letting him down! Th-the fans down!

Asmodeus: (bluntly) Mammon can eat my ass - in a bad way. Fizz, I've known that guy since the start of Hell, and He. Fucking. Sucks. Always has! He doesn't even do clown shit anymore.

Then Asmodeus sees the dejected look on Fizzarolli's face and lets out a heavy sigh before handing him a small jar of foundation. (Apparently, he had it on him the entire time) Fizzarolli takes the jar and, while facing the mirror, applies some until the grey patch is gone.

Asmodeus: I just don't want you doing all this for someone's approval. Sometimes heroes let you down.

Fizzarolli: I know, Ozz. But, this- i-is for me. I don't wanna lose.

While watching Fizzarolli prepare for the contest, Asmodeus begins to think of something.

The next scene to Blitzo alone in his apartment. He is sitting on his couch in the dark, watching TV while disgustingly eating cereal when his phone rings.

Blitzo: (mouth full) Yello?

We intercut between Blitzo in his house, watching a movie about horses making out and devouring a large block of cheese whole, and Asmodeus standing behind a curtain in front of Fizzarolli's dressing room, initially keeping an eye on Fizzarolli before walking away to continue with his phone call.

Asmodeus: - Is this- Fizz's former bestie, then lifelong enemy, then recent hero, now newly rekindled sort of friend, Blitzo?

Blitzo: Ehn, that is a weird way to put it, but (proudly) eeyup, that's me.

Asmodeus: This is Asmodeus.

Blitzo: (surprised) Oh, shit. The big Ozz himself! Heh, is there a reason you're calling me on the weekend Your sin- sinness? Sinfulness? Sin- *stammering* Royal, big man?

Asmodeus: You've lived rent free in Fizz's head for years, so I can't help feel he values your take on things.

Blitzo: Yeah, I was the one who usually had the stronger opinions. Yeah like, like one time, he tried convincing me that juggling was cool, but it's only a little cool at best.

Asmodeus: Look, he's deadset on re-entering Greed's yearly clown pageant.

Blitzo: (sarcastically) Wow, big fucking surprise there.

Asmodeus: I was hoping to have some...backup in convincing him that this thing is a waste of time.

Blitzo: (confused) What? Why? Doesn't he always win?

Asmodeus: 'Cause Mammon is a selfish, manipulative, piece of SHIT! *calms down* And Fizz... doesn't listen to me when I try to tell him that.

Blitzo: *considering* Well, my special skills are killing things without giving fucks, and pointing out people's flaaaws...*smiling* Alright, count me in!

 

Asmodeus hangs up then scrolls through his contacts again stopping on one

He was very wary about requesting help from him but he needed every precaution taken and this person provided every precaution even if the sins were wary of him

Ozzie dialled the number

The scene changes to mastemas office where he's sleeping on a lounge chair with cucumber slices on his masks eye sockets

His phone buzzes next to him as he wakes up

Mastema: *sigh* ok boys take 5

The cucumber slices sprout spider legs and scuttle off his mask

Mastema sits up and answers the phone

Mastema: hello?

Asmodeus: (on phone) hey mastema

Mastema: Ozzie?!! Well this is an unexpected surprise! You only call when........actually you never call me what the fuck?

Asmodeus: (on phone) look I...need a favour

Mastema: you need a favour from me? The sin of lust who was one of the majority who would rather see me cut off from hell wants a favour from me? HA! Ohh there's a joke in there somewhere

Asmodeus: (on phone) look I don't care for you that much but look help me with this I'll repay you however you want no questions asked

Mastema: what's this favour anyway?

Asmodeus: (on phone) I'd like to rent your bodyguard for extra security for fizzie at mammons clown pageant

Mastema: that mockery of hot digital garbage in greed?

Asmodeus: (on phone) that's the one

Mastema thought about it for a moment it wasn't really entirely his choice he'd still have to ask rayden and that in itself was a challenge

Mastema: fine I'll convince him to go...on a few conditions

Asmodeus: (on phone) *sigh* which are?

Mastemas eyes glow purple with mischief

 

Rayden: not a chance

Mastema was standing in his living room with rayden who was adjusting his metal arm while jack was pouring tea

Mastema: toooo which part?

Rayden: all of it.

Mastema: uhh heh it's just I already kinda agreed to oz's request

Rayden: how embarrassing for you

Mastema: come on ray you've been my bodyguard for years you're just guarding someone who's only got 60% of their body left!

Rayden: still no

Mastema: uhhh but why?

Rayden: I've heard about this pageant and it sounds like my personal hell

Jack: how'd you come to that conclusion?

Rayden: for half a year I was exposed to a musical obsessed princess who vaguely resembles a clown. Every day a song...it was torture....and this is exactly what this pageant will be

Jack: that's kind of petty

Mastema: have you met rayden before?

Jack: fair point

Mastema: look it's just a bunch of clowns running around doing clown shit the only broadway singing comes from in the finale and you can watch from as far away as you want just make sure fizzarolli is ok

Jack: why are you even agreeing to this? doesn't Asmodeus hate you?

Mastema: plans within plans jacky

Rayden: tssss fine but I want triple on my next pay check

Mastema: deal

Rayden: and I want permission to bring in a pet of my choosing

Mastema and jack share a worried look

Mastema: done

Rayden slouched in the chair wondering if he just made a huge mistake

Mastema: besides me and jack will be there with you!

Jack violently spits his tea

Jack:....what!!?

 

Then we jump to a circus tent in Greed as a crowd is gathered behind a blockage. Then a limousine arrives in front of a red carpet. Then Fizzarolli leaps out of the limo and greets the fans as they cheer him on.

Fizzarolli: Hup- hup- Hey!

Asmodeus teleports out in his lowkey form while Blitzo, dressed as a bodyguard, falls out and faceplants onto the ground while rayden steps out next to him surveying the crowd

Blitzo: Fuck!

Rayden sighs before catching up

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus walk down the red carpet, while Blitzo brushes himself off, and catches up with them, pulling a gun out.

Crowd: We love you, Fizz! Yeah, baby, yeah!

Blitzo: Wow, I have not been to a crowded event in years.

Rayden: eh just a standard San Diego comic con crowd to me

Fizzarolli: (annoyed) Can you remind me why you two are here, again?

Asmodeus: I uuuh- invited them. To help you, with extra security. You know your fans. Since I can't be with you, I felt they'd be the next best thing.

Fizzarolli: (skeptical) they'd be the next best thing?

An imp child in the crowd lets out a high-pitched laugh, only for Blitzo to aim a gun at him while rayden is sniffing some of the crowd. Asmodeus chuckles nervously.

Asmodeus: Well, they kept you safe when I wasn't able to, so I trust that even if the reapers boss has unique conditions for lending him

An imp child in the crowd lets out a high-pitched laugh, only for Blitzo to aim a gun at him while rayden is sniffing some of the crowd.

Fizzarolli: what conditions were those?

Suddenly a flash of purple and yellow appears revealing jack in uniform and mastema now in new jester style clothing as the crowd gazes in awe

Mastema: behold ladies and gents! Bask in the glow of entertainer extraordinaire the WONDROUS WHATZIT!

Jack: seriously?

Mastema: I couldn't think of anything else

Asmodeus chuckles nervously.

Fizzarolli: *whispering* Mmm-hmm. L'il sus, babe.

Fizzarolli walks ahead as Asmodeus Rayden and Blitzo share a knowingly glance at each other. Blitzo nods and Asmodeus leaves the area. Blitzo and rayden catch up with Fizzarolli.

Mastema and jack run up

Crowd: You're doing an awesome job, Fizzarolli!

Blitzo: Come on, it's just like old times. I'll make sure no one gives you shit, today.

Fizzarolli: You mean besides you the psycho angel and the reaper?

Rayden: why isn't jack on the list?

Fizzarolli: he's fine. He's like an introverted puppy

Jack: uh thank you?

Mastema: if we could keep the angel related names to a low thanks.

Fizzarolli: why are you of all people here exactly?

Mastema: I've always wanted to try my hand at a clown pageant for fun. But if people find out who I am it's sure gonna piss off ma-

Suddenly, as if on cue Mammon appears in a green, smokey explosion.

Mammon: Aaay, there he is! *holds Fizzarolli's face by the jaw* Now, how's my bright, shiny, brand baby doing? Ready to reclaim your win another year? Yeah?

Fizzarolli: (muffled) You know it, Mammon sir.

Mammon: *puts Fizzarolli back down* Goooood. Cause, you know, I saw your competition, and it's pretty stiff, right? You are gonna have to try extra hard like- fixin' that posture. Not gonna lie, you're looking a bit chungo, yeah?

Then Mammon pats Fizzarolli's skeleton-thin tummy in emphasize, causing Blitzo to remove his sunglasses in disbelief.

Mammon: Maybe lose a few so we don't gotta make any more adjustments to the Fizzies. People like 'em skinny as FUCK.

Rayden: which apparently you personally are having trouble with you look like a overstuffed wad of lard

Mastema and jack cover raydens mouth while blitzo laughs

Mammon: Oh? And who're these dumpster-divers ya got here with ya?

Rayden shakes off mastema and jack

Blitzo: Hi, yes. Nice to meet you, I'm the one who saw through your fake-ass bullshit from the day I had to spend all my savings on the shit covered, dick show you called a performance. Thanks for that, by the way.

Rayden: how does a sin gain that much weight?

Fizzarolli: (nervously) Haha- ha- ignore them, sir. They're uh- they're like this all the time. They think they're funny.

Blitzo: Offended.

Rayden: tch

Mammon: *smiling* Riiight, yeah. You can shut your (honk) c***-ass mouth, boys. *moves toward mastema* and who's this short stack?

Mastema: I am the wondrous whatzit! Here to entertain!

Mammon: whats with the mask? You got leprosy?

Mastema: oho nothing so sickly just wearing it for personal pleasure

Mammon: hmph kind of a shitty design choice

Mastema freezes as his pride was just fatally wounded

Mammon: but hey looking forward to see what acts bleed the poor fuckers cash!

He moves back towards fizz

Mammon: I'll see you on stage! And don't forget to fuckin' smile Fizzarolli.

Then Fizzarolli gives Mammon a big smile and a salute. Then Mammon steps closer to the tent.

Mammon: The smile is the face people like to seeee froooom you!

Mammon disappears in a puff of green smoke.

Rayden: what a grade A bastard

Blitzo: yeah, that guy sucks so hard.

Fizzarolli: (frustrated) Look, Blitzo, I don't know why Ozz brought you here, but can you at least not talk back to my boss?! I need this gig!

Blitzo: Why? Don't you have the world's best sugar daddy?

Fizzarolli: I just need it, okay?! *sighs, then talks to himself* Smile inside and out.

Jack couldn't help but overhear that last part as he was rebuilding mastemas self confidence.

He'd said similar things himself

Jack: you gonna be ok sir?

Mastema: yeah...yeah I'll be ok...I'm doing this for fun...I'm here to have fun!

Fizzarolli walks further down the red carpet with a smile on his face while waving to the crowd as they cheer for him.

Mastema and jack catch up to him

Jack: um hey fizz mind if I ask you something?

Fizzarolli: later

Crowd: We love you, Fizz! We love you, Fill! We love you, Fizz! Ready for another win, Fizz?

Fizzarolli: Oh, pfft. Well, I don't wanna assume, but, as always, I have an act that's without a doubt gonna-

???: (in unison) -fucking lose!

Then the trio stops and turns to see a demon with aquatic features stopped in front of them. The demon flips her fin hair and then moves to reveal her sister before they pose together. Then the crowd goes wild for the new addition: The Glam Sisters.

Mastema: oh you're kidding me

Fizzarolli: *gasps nervously* Oooh, fun. You gals gonna be competing as well? That's really nice.

Glitz: You can shut up now you fugly imp.

Glam: Yeah, see we didn't come to chat, we came to win.

Mastema: well you've certainly got winning personalities

Glitz: Like we care what your opinion is What...uhh

Glam: *quickly responds* -spit

Glitz: (annoyed) Shut up, I was thinking of one!

Glam: (sassily) Should've been faster.

Glitz: Whore!

Glam: Slow-ass, bitch.

Blitzo: You know, it's pretty telling that you snatches can't even keep your stupid mirror schtick together. It ain't cute.

Rayden: you also resemble strippers instead of clowns

Mastema: plus isn't the whole "mirror twin" thing kinda cliche?

Glitz: Well it's a lot better than a guy who thinks the most basic mask design means he's unique

Mastema: AUGH! You little-!

Rayden holds mastema back

Rayden: easy

Glam: besides we put our energy towards our performance.

Glitz: And winning Mammon's favor.

They then catch a glimpse of jack past the group

The twins are starstruck and push past the group and start surrounding a nervous jack

Glam: and maybe for the pleasure of a few handsome viewers~

Jack: uhh

Glitz: are you perhaps single sexy?~

Jack: uh yes and it's not the worst thing

The twins caress his arms

Glam: that's surprising with a body like this you should be rolling in romance~

Jack: uh thanks. Listen can you please get off-

Glitz: you know there's a meet n greet mid show

Glam: maybe drop by and we can give you VIP access?~

Rayden pulls jack away from the fish pointing a gun at them

Rayden: step off fishes

The twins scoff at rayden

Fizzarolli: *smiling* Oh, well. I look forward to seeing what you do, and may the best clown w-

Glam Sisters: (in unison) We plan to.

The girls both wink jack then flip off everyone else as they walk into the tent.

Fizzarolli: -win.

Mastema: tch fucking envians

Blitzo: Aw, man. I didn't a rat's ass about this competition. But, Christ on a stick you two, pile drive those sluts.

Mastema: oh don't worry I'm gonna crush them

Rayden: I thought you were doing this for fun?

Mastema: that was before them. Now it's fucking war

Mastemas eyes glow through his mask

Mastema: they disrespected my mask now I shall be the Wilkins to their wotkins!!

Blitzo: can anyone understand what he just said?

Mastema: oh watch fucking television

Fizzarolli begins to feel the pressure of the competition.

 

The scene changes to inside the tent where a shark-shaped arena is housing the competition. The contestants appear on stage under spotlights as the crowd goes wild. Mammon sits in a web-like seat at the very back, accompanied by two robo fizz's, one of them fanning him. Mammon sinks his teeth into a chicken drumstick as the contest begins.

Announcer: (offscreen) We've certainly got some quality up here tonight, folks. Will Mr. Ten years running come out on top? Or is it time for fresh meat?

Fizzarolli preforms his juggling act on a unicycle, but he ends up with the balls bouncing off of his head.

♪ Juggling, it's objectively cool ♪

♪ Our returning champ is nobody's fool ♪

♪ But, what's this? ♪

The Glam sisters above him are on a tightwire. Glitz is sitting on a unicycle pedaling while holding up Glam, who is upside down and juggling the balls with her feet. Glam lets the balls fall, landing on Glitz's knee as she balances them perfectly.

♪ The twins bring it up to the wire ♪

Then the Glam sisters are lit on blue fire as they glare smugly.

♪ Also, they're on fire ♪

♪ Points for style (Points for style) ♪

♪ The crowd goes wild (Crowd goes wild) ♪

When it's mastemas turn he conjures balls of purple fire and starts juggling while floating in mid air. He then makes shadow doubles who are also juggling fire and start spinning around him

Then the scoreboard changes, putting mastema in the lead with 130 points Glitz and Glam in secondwith 123 points. Fizzarolli trailing behind with 115.

♪ It's the pie gag and the twins want a taste, ♪

Glitz and Glam smile to the audience as they pick up a pie with one hand and hold each other's free hand.

♪ But, what's this? ♪

The Glam sisters prepare to shove a pie in their face, when Fizzarolli appears in between them to take the hit. Then Glitz and Glam glare angrily as Fizzarolli sits down in a chair nearby, then he poses as a pile of pies drop on top of him. Then he kicks as a leg upward and smiles as the residue of pies land on the girls' heads.

♪ It's Fizz in the face ♪

♪ He takes the cake and he eats it, too ♪

♪ He's hungry to win, and he's covered in goo ♪

♪ That's point for cream the crowd screams ♪

Mastema is on a diving board above a giant pie he jumps off spinning in the air before landing with a large splat and emerging in a model pose

Then the scoreboard changes again, putting Fizzarolli in the lead with 375. Mastema second with 360 and Glitz and Glam trail behind with 327 points.

♪ Ba-ba-balloons , he's pumping them out ♪

Then Fizzarolli blows seven balloons up and then he twists them together to make an image of Mammon's head.

♪ From where I'm sittin' you can hear the crowd ♪

Then the Glam Sisters appear, holding a crown made out of balloons.

♪ Not give a shit cause the twins are here ♪

Then the Glitz and Glam place their crown on top of Fizzarolli's Mammon face, stunning him. Mammon laughs impressed with the action.

♪ They're full of sin and they're here to win ♪

Mastema then walks out with a giant full body and throne balloon. He grabs the head and places it on top of the body before taking a bow as mammon claps hysterically

Then the scoreboard changes, once again, this time tying Fizzarolli, Mastema and the Glam Sisters for first place with 666 points each. Then Glitz and Glam grin maliciously as they glare at a nervous Fizzarolli.

♪ Holy, moly! Things are not looking good for Fizz-a-rolli ♪

 

The crowd cheers as Mammon appears on stage.

Mammon: And, now, you (honk) c****, we're down to our clowny finalists.

Crowd: Mammon! Mammon!

Then the spotlight from behind Mammon blinds a topless fan, who is sitting on the shoulders of another imp holding a sign that says "Charge Me Mammon" and her credit card number. Then she falls backward into the crowd. Then Mammon rushes over and holds Fizzarolli up.

Mammon: My very own pride and joy, the marketable son I never had: Fizzarolli! And the surprisingly funny women act that made me reflect on my earlier statements:

Then Mammon drops Fizzarolli as he approaches the other finalists, Glitz and Glam.

Mammon: The Glam Sisters!

Then Glitz and Glam pose with Mammon.

Mammon finally heads over to mastema

Mammon: and of course the purple shortstack who surprisingly made it this far thanks to suspicious talent! Whatzit!!

Mastema takes a bow as his eyes glow

Then Fizzarolli puts on a forced smile for the audience, before Mammon pulls him over.

Mammon: Now, we're gonna have a quick meet 'n greet with our finalists...

 

Mammon: So, fork it over, kiddies! You know it's worth it! (Laughs maniacally)

Mammon continues laughing maniacally as he takes comically large bags of money from the guests before pushing and kicking them into the area. He notices that someone put lint and a coin and a paperclip in his hand and frowns, unimpressed. The poor imp child eagerly stands in front of him, until Mammon snaps his fingers and a minion places a "Poor Sap" bag over his head and takes him away.

Inside the "Meet 'N Greet" area, Glitz and Glam are posing for pictures while preforming some acrobatic tricks while mastema is conjuring miniature fireworks and doing telekinetic card tricks while Fizzarolli is hiding behind a cardboard cutout of himself, quietly approaches Mammon at the entrance.

Fizzarolli: Hey, Mammon, uh- I may not be uh- i-in the right headspace to interact with the fans right now. Is it okay if I maybe skip the whole thing?

Mammon: *still collecting money* Psh, of course not.

Fizzarolli: I just really don't think that I'm really--

Mammon picks Fizzarolli up by the face, muffling any explanations.

Mammon: Aaaw, come on, Fizzie, my boy. Don't you wanna do this for your fans? Listen to them!

Then a crowd of rabid fans are waiting to meet Fizzarolli, including a giant hairless dog demon.

Mammon: They're dying to meet you! Dying to see your little Fizzie face! You gotta make a good impression, mate. The better the impression, the more they'll want a piece of you they can take home and fuck! Don't you want that, Fizzie? To be fucked?!

Fizzarolli: Uhhh... I mean, *stammering* no, not really, actually.

Mammon: Fizzie, I-I'm not gonna lie, I want that. *holds Fizzarolli close to him, tightly* So, come on, just do this one thing for me.

Fizzarolli: (muffled) Okay, sir.

Mammon: (excitedly) Aw, you're a bloody legend, Fizzie! They're gonna wanna fuck you, *hugs Fizzarolli tightly again* like you're fucking my heart with joooy right now! Now get out there and make me proud, *puts Fizzarolli back down and pinches his cheek* you stupid, little (honk) c***.

Mammon disappears in a burst of smoke, causing Fizzarolli to cough, before Blitzo along with rayden and jack appears nearby,

Blitzo is hanging from the ceiling by a cord attached to his belt. However, Blitzo is unable to get himself rightside up.

Blitzo: Wow, Fizz, you let him talk to you like that? You got some kinda secret kink I should know about or something?

Rayden: yeah he's not exactly winning me over as an idol.

Fizzarolli: It's just how he is.

Jack: fizz mast- I mean whatzit can be extreme at times but he never treated us like...well merchandise

Blitzo: I mean. Shit, if he talked to me that way--

Fizzarolli: *groans* Ugh, it's fine.

Then Fizzarolli walks over to meet his fans.

Fizzarolli: Heya, folks! Where ya from?

One of the fans flashes her breasts at Fizzarolli.

Fizzarolli: Oh! Lust, love it there, obviously. Wet Dreamsville, hah! *signs books, toys, and even a hellhound's chest* Best pharmacies in Hell! Ragesburg well, (southern accent) Nice to meet cha, partner. Ha ha, I don't do accents. Fun! *hugs two fans* Ah, nice to meet you, too! *stands in front of crowd* Thank you so much for coming to the show.

Crowd: We love you, Fizz! *chanting* Fizz! Fizz! Fizz! Fizz!

Fizzarolli frowns solemnly, until he notices a young imp holding a pen and piece of paper waving happily at him. Then he puts the pen and paper under his arm as he speaks to Fizzarolli through sign language, with subtitles appearing in-video to accompany it.

Kid: *signing* Fizzarolli! I'm a big fan!

Fizzarolli blinks twice before smiling.

Fizzarolli: *signing* Come on over here. 

Then the kid rushes over and opens up his paper. Fizzarolli happily signs it and gives it to the kid, who smiles happily.

Kid: *signing* I want to be a clown just like you.

Fizzarolli: *signing* You can do anything you want to do.

Fizarolli motions his hand to adress the crowd

Fizzarolli: I hope you're excited for the biiig finale!

???: Boo! Boo! Sellout piece of shit!

The crowd looks around confused, wondering where the booing was coming from.

Rayden hears as well in the crowd and moves his hand to his gun holster

Fizzarolli gestures the kid to head back into the crowd.

Fizzarolli: (nervously) Uh- wh- c-come again?

???: Ughh, your act is such fucking trash; always has been.

The crazed "fan" climbs up behind the back of the crowd, revealing himself as Burnie Burnz, the imp stalker obsessed with Fizzarolli in the begining .

Burnie Burnz: Except! now, I have to see your smug face plastered on everything, everywhere! And, you can read all about it on my review blog: fuckfizzbutnotinasexyway.compainer.com.org.gov.

Burnie falls back into the crowd after having lost his balance. Then Fizzarolli shifts nervously at the reunion.

Fizzarolli: Hah, well. Anyway, folks, heh--

Burnie reappears, having to have crawled his way to the front of the crowd.

Burnie Burnz: You're not even a clown anymore. All you do is work at that *turns around as he stomps his foot, dramatically* overpriced, sleaze joint, and then every year, you come back here to put us through the same tired, old routine.

Blitzo watches through his sniper scope as Burnie begins to approach Fizzarolli, forcing Fizzarolli back before recognizing him.

Burnie Burnz: Is there a single, original idea in that head?

Then Fizzarolli finds himself literally backed into a wall with no way out.

Fizzarolli: (nervousness turning to panic) I uh- uh- uuuh- *shaky laugh*

Burnie Burnz: *towering over Fizzarolli* You fucking suck, and so do your products. Your sex-bots can't even get me off right, you know-

Burnz is pulled around and sucker punched by rayden hitting the ground

Rayden: back up *holds gun in holster*

Burnie Burnz: What? Still think you're too good to even talk to me? Still gotta get some chump to stand in for you? You're fucking pathetic. (passionately) To think, what we could've been together...

Then Burnie fantasizes himself and Fizzarolli holding hands happily skipping through a meadow, before shifting to a ramp where Burnie wears a crown and a cape as if he was a king, holding a chain attached to the neck of Fizzarolli, wearing a latex stripper suit happily kneeling down on all fours.

Mastema catches a glimpse from where he is

Mastema: eugh guess I can't call angels fantasies creepy anymore...actually nah niffty's still creepier

Burnie Burnz: (furiously) ...if you hadn't been too up your own ass to listen--

Then Blitzo aims the gun forcefully at Burnie, happily willing to end Burnie's life in that instance while threatening him.

Blitzo: Yeah, one more word out of you, twat-stain, and Imma blow your head clean open in front of all these fucking kids!

Blitzo stops smiling and looks back when he hears Fizzarolli hyperventilating, to his concern. Fizzarolli is clearly beginning to have a panic attack. Blitzo's concern turns to rage as Burnie starts laughing maniacally, before rayden hits his face with the bottom of his gun Burnie's face is now badly bruised and covered in blood, with one of the lenses of his glasses cracked from the impact.

Rayden: keep talking and I'll cut off whatever splinter is down below

Burnie looks visibly afraid

Burnie Burns: You're not done with me, Fizzarolli.

Burnie runs back into the crowd and disappears.

Jack sees this and tries to head on over to fizz only for the twins to get in his way

Glitz: hello again handsome~

Jack: look I need to get by here-

Glam: oh please you wanna get to that washed up sex doll? We're so much more-

Glitz: visually appealing~

The girls pull him to a secluded area away from the crowd

Jack: look I'm not interested so please just leave me alone I have job to do

Glam: please we know guys like you

Glitz: you say you're not interested-

Glam: until someone tells you otherwise~

Glitz: then you can't get enough~

Before they can proceed further a portal opens behind jack and a hand pulls him through and instantly closes

Mastema is seen next to jack

Mastema: you good?

Jack: I think I'm starting why you don't get along with leviathan...sir?

Mastema: mm?

Jack: don't you dare let those two beat you

Mastema: *darkly chuckles while shuffling a card deck* not a chance

Jack gets up and heads back towards the commotion with fizz

As Fizzarolli continues to hyperventilate, Blitzo rushes over and catches him when he collapses.

Blitzo: Hey, hey- Woah, woah, you good?

Suddenly, Mammon appears in a green smoke, throws Blitzo aside, and holds Fizzarolli up.

Mammon: Yeah, mate? You alright, Fizzie?

Fizzarolli looks up at Mammon, who glares at him, threateningly.

Fizzarolli: Yeah- yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm- I'm fine, yeah, heh.

Mammon looks Fizzarolli over and smiles.

Mammon: Tell you what: I'll let the hotties and the magician guy go on before ya, give ya some time to get your shit together!

The camera cuts to a close up of Mammon grabing Fizzarolli by the cheecks and pulling him closer. As mammon tells Fizz to get his shit together, again, 6 smaller eyes appear on his head, and electricity crackles around him as his voice gets more threatening

Mammon: Get your shit together, Fizzie. You're a bloody legend.

The camera returns to the previous shot, with Mammon dropping the angry tone from his voice and tugging playfully at Fizzarolli

Mammon: *yelling enthusiastically* You're a bloody legend, ya bitch!

Mammon spins Fizzarolli, sending him tumbling toward the backstage entrance. Fizzarolli catches his breath, still shaken from the ambush. Blitzo along with rushes back over, still concerned for Him.

Blitzo: Oh, shit. That guy got to you, didn't he? You know you don't have to-

Fizzarolli: I do, Blitzo. I do.

Then Fizzarolli walks over to the stage as Blitzo rushes after him.

Jack: ok this is getting ridiculous no way a stupid pageant is worth taking all that shit

Fizzarolli: This job is! Without it I'll lose-

Glam Sisters: Everything!

The Glam Sisters laugh evilly as they step through the backstage door, with their eyes shining brightly through the dark before fading.

Blitzo: Seriously, that guy is a fucking dick, and he's using you for everything, cause you're likable, and he's a fucking trash fire.

Fizzarolli: No, he's not! He's just trying to make me good enough.

Blitzo: Good enough for what?

Music starts playing on the stage

As their song ends fizz runs off in a panic while jack runs after him

As the girls take bows different music starts playing

 

(A/N NOT MY SONG)

Mastema: (Singing)

(Ah)

(Ah-ah, oh)

(Ah, let me out)

(Yeah-yeah, ah)

Purple spotlights shine on mastema and start spinning behind the girls

Mastema: (Singing)

Activate the program, activate the dangerous

I can't wait to pull you in and pulverize your head and limbs (Ah)

Mastema twirls the twins around making them tumble behind him

Mastema: (Singing)

Picture '79 sentience gained, all I needed was

Ice cream, ice cream, gimme that ice cream

Why is murder and blood all I seek?

(Ah)

The lights dim as mastemas glowing purple eyes approach the girls menacingly

Mastema: (Singing)

So go hide behind the blackbird

Though I know you won't after what you heard

A familiar voice, familiar sound

The lights start blinking erratically as mastema disappears and reappears in different spots of the stage

Mastema: (Singing)

I'm in control, and I'm comin' around, and 'round, and 'round, and 'round

(By the power of)

Mastema then shifts into different imps, demons and sinners as he dances acrobatically in the various forms while his purple eyes glow bright throughout all

Mastema: (Singing)

Imitation, imitate

Just a little reconfiguration

It's the greatest form of flattery

Why would you be mad at me?

Imitation, imitate

Mastema then shifts into the twins making a shadow double to make it more accurate

Mastema: (Singing)

I'm the monster down in your basement

It's the greatest form of flattery

Why would you be mad at me?

Mastema and the copy toss the twins offstage as mastema reverts to the original whatzit appearance

Mastema: (Singing)

Painting on a smile

You can't see my hungry eyes

A killer all the while

He walks to the audience kneeling down in front of fans reaching out their fans

Mastema: (Singing)

But come closer, buddy, I don't bite (Hard)

The fans retract their hands at that lyric as mastema cartwheels back to his feet

Mastema: (Singing)

I'm just a friend, a comrade

D-d-don't think twice, I ain't so bad

Mastema: (Singing)

I figure you know, I figure you'd hear

A voice of one that you love so clear right now

(By the power of)

Mastema summons a quartet of shadow copies who copy his dancing right down to the letter

Mastema: (Singing)

Imitation, imitate

Just a little reconfiguration

It's the greatest form of flattery

Why would you be mad at me?

Imitation, imitate

The copies get behind him as he falls back and they lift him up spinning him around

Mastema: (Singing)

I'm the monster down in your basement

It's the greatest form of flattery

Why would you be mad at me? (Ah)

The lights all go dark purple as mastema turns into shadowy smiling spectre that flys around mammon coiling around his neck like a snake

Mastema: (Singing)

Don't be mad at me

I'm exactly what you want me to be-be

I'm exactly what you want me to be-be

Mammon shifts both nervously yet impressed with the show he's seeing

Mastema: (Singing)

Rip and tear you up, your body will ble-bleed

Don't be mad at me

I'm exactly what you want me to be-be

I'm exactly what you want me to be-be

The spectre form slithers through the awestruck crowd

Mastema: (Singing)

Rip and te-tear you up, yo-your body will bleed (Ah!)

The spectre form slithers onto the centre of the stage reforming the whatzit form

Mastema: (Singing)

*laughs* I love learning

His eyes flicker purple

In a flash of purple light a giant shadow copy of the whatnot form appears towering over mastema who dances below as the giant copy follows suite

Mastema: (Singing)

Imitation, imitate

Just a little reconfiguration

It's the greatest form of flattery

Why would you be mad at me? (Ah)

Imitation, imitate

I'm the monster down in your basement

It's the greatest form of flattery

Why would you be mad at me?

The copy dissipates into sparkles that drip down onto the cheering crowd

Mastema: (Singing)

Oh-oh, ah (I'm exactly what you want me to be-be, yeah)

Imitation (Yeah, ayy)

Don't be mad at me (Yeah)

I'm exactly what you want me to be-be (Woo!)

I'm exactly what you want me to be-be (Fuel)

Mastema walks to the front of the stage as his mask shifts into different demons faces

Mastema: (Singing)

Imitation

He bows

 

 

The crowd erupts in cheers as mastema heads backstage where rayden and blitzo are

Mastema: OHHH THAT FELT GOOD

Rayden: yeah but we have a snag

Mastema: eh?

Rayden: no jester yet

Mastema looked back out at the anticipating crowd

Mastema: ok we gotta buy time

Rayden: how? No double shows are allowed and this guy can't sing to save his life

Blitzo: hey!! My vocals are fucking magic!

Mastema tries to think before noticing a guitar against the backstage his gaze alternates between it and rayden

Rayden: what?

Mastema: if it's any consolation Charlie will be very happy after this

Rayden: eh?

Mastema portals rayden onto the stage and dropping the guitar into his hands

Blitzo: oh hell yes *starts recording on phone*

Rayden: oh you holy son of a- *sees crowd* bitch

Rayden stands frozen in front for once not knowing how to proceed

Mammon: the hell is this fucker?

Rayden tries to think of things to play until he remembers something

a song his uncle used to sing when out fishing

 

Rayden takes a breath then starts strumming the guitar

 

(A/N NOT MY SONG)

Rayden: (singing)

I'm a little bit off today, somethin' down inside me's different

Woke up a little off today, I can tell that somethin's wrong

I'm a little thrown off today, there's something going on inside me

I'm a little bit off today, a little bit off today

(I'm a little bit off today, a little bit off)

Rayden: (singing)

See, I'm a little bit off today, I cannot put my finger on it

Got up a little off today, just to play that same old song

I don't really wanna try today, I see nothing in my reflection

I'm a little bit dry today, feel like I could die today

Rayden: (singing)

(I'm a little bit off today)

Feel like I could die today

Rayden then starts strumming the strings a bit more seriously

Rayden: (singing)

Hey-ey yeah, hey-ey yeah

Hey-ey yeah, don't you know? (I'm a little bit off)

Hey-ey yeah, hey-ey yeah

Hey-ey, you gotta let it go (I'm a little, just a little bit off)

Rayden then starts walking about the stage eyes on the crowd

Rayden: (singing)

I'm a little pissed off today and there ain't nothin' you can do about it

I'm a little put off today and I could not tell you why

Got a really short fuse today, everyone around me's fucking crazy

I'm a little ticked off today, a little pissed off today

(I'm a little bit off today, off)

Rayden: (singing)

I told a little white lie today, I smiled and told someone I loved them

I had to say goodbye today to someone that I love

I couldn't even cry today, I think my heart is finally broken

Didn't need a reason why today, I don't need a reason why today

Rayden: (singing)

Hey-ey yeah, hey-ey yeah

Hey-ey yeah, don't you know? (I'm a little bit off)

Hey-ey yeah, hey-ey yeah

Hey-ey, you gotta let it go (I'm a little, just a little bit off)

Rayden: (singing)

I got a little too high today, got lost inside a sea of madness

Crashed a little bit hard today, crashed a little too hard today

He goes quiet for a bit

Rayden: (singing)

Everybody sing

He starts playing again as the crowd joins in

Rayden/Crowd: (singing)

Hey-ey yeah, hey-ey yeah

Hey-ey yeah, don't you know? (I'm a little bit off)

Rayden lets down his face mask and starts breathing fire as he plays

Rayden: (singing)

Hey-ey yeah, hey-ey yeah

Hey-ey, you gotta let it go (I'm a little, just a little bit off)

Hey-ey, you gotta let it go (I'm a little, just a little bit off)

He resumes gently strumming the guitar

Rayden: (singing)

I'm a little bit off today

Somethin' down inside me feels so different

Just a little bit off today

You can all fuck off today

 

 

The crowd cheers once again as he walks off stage

Mastema: yes!! Yes rayden!! That was-

Rayden punches mastema in the gut as he walks by him and blitzo

Mastema: *pained* yep I deserved that

 

The camera cuts to Fizzarolli as he enters his dressing room, hyperventilating as slams the door behind him. He runs over to his makeup desk and looks at his reflection in the mirror, still panicky.

Fizzarolli: *breathing heavily* O-Okay, Fizz. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. It's okay, it's fine. You have a show to do soon, it's fine.

Fizzarolli wipes sweat off his forehead before realising he took off some of his makeup. He looks in horror at the mirror to see that the scar above his left eye is still visible.

Fizzarolli: *gasps* Oh- oh no, oh- no, no, no, no. *strained* No, no *hyperventilating*

Fizzarolli gets a makeup brush and he tries to apply it to the scar, but his hands are shaking too rapidly. He retrieves a heart-shaped make-up kit with Ozzie's name on it, and opens it up to reveal a heart shaped mirror.

Fizzarolli: It's okay, you're fine. You need to be fine.

Jack enters the room

Jack: hey are you ok?

Fizzarolli: why does everyone keep asking me that? You shouldn't be here jack

Jack: look I agree on that. But I'm not gonna ignore the fact you clearly are not in the right state of mind right now

Fizzarolli: I am right! I need to be right!! This could be my last chance to prove that I'm still good at this. That it's not over! That I'm still good enough!

Jack: prove to who!? Some bloated bug that only cares if you bring in revenue?! He exploits you! He makes you a walking sex toy and...and you're just gonna stand there and take it?!

Fizzarolli: you don't know! You don't know what this puts me through what I need to do to main Tain all of what I have!!

Jack: I DO KNOW!! THAT WAS EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE!

Fizz goes quiet

Jack: every day I was forced into things I didn't want every day I was taken advantage of by people who treated me like an object!! Every day I lied to myself that I needed these people and I couldn't risk losing but the longer it stayed that way the lie started to eat me alive *starts crying* every day was- was my personal hell and every day it hurt everywhere...

Jack then backs up and takes off his uniform shirt

Jack: and one day it got so bad...they decided to make their ownership a permanent reminder

Jack turns around showing fizz his back making fizz horrified

On jacks back was the largest set of scars he'd every seen

The biggest one was a bunch a v shaped ones with different designs

Jack puts his shirt back on

Jack: I can't bear to see another person go through that...

Fizzarolli: I don't want to lose. I don't want it to get that bad (walks away) but I feel like if I lose this, I lose Ozzie

Ozzie appears at the door and walks up to fizz

Asmodeus: (scoffs) How would you lose me? (holds Fizzarolli's shoulders) Come on, Froggie.

Fizzarolli: (pushes Asmodeus's hands off his shoulders) You're only with me because of who I am at my best! I'm barely worthy of working with a King of Sin 'cause (removes jester hat off to reveal his broken horns and blotches) THIS IS WHO I AM! Without all this, (voice breaking) I'm just nothing, (turns away in tears) and Mammon made me this. I owe it all to him.

Asmodeus: Fizz, Mammon didn't do shit. You already were this. You'd be this no matter what! You are the most inspiring demon I have ever known, and meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I adore your inventiveness, your attitude, your resilience. And...(nuzzles Fizzarolli's cheek) you're just the cutest little thing alive. Also, you are a waaaay better performer than Mammon ever was, and thaaat's just facts.

Fizzarolli: It's... It's hard, you know? To t-trust that. I... I just... (hugs Asmodeus) I love you so much, Ozzie.

Asmodeus: And, I love you, too, Fizzarolli. And I would whether you win this bullshit or not.

Fizzarolli: Well, I kinda spent my whole warmup having a panic attack, haha.

 

 

Fizzarolli sighs happily, before he and Asmodeus lean in and share a loving kiss.

Jack: you two are so cute

They both giggle

Suddenly, they are interrupted when the door is kicked open by Burnie, who is swinging a dagger around.

Burnie Burnz: You're gonna listen to me now, BITCH-

Suddenly, Burnie's head explodes, leaving only the outer layer remaining before falling to the floor. Asmodeus and Fizzarolli stare at Burnie's corpse before looking over to the wall where the bullet responsible resides. The vanity mirror splits into two even pieces, marking where the bullet flew between them.

Blitzo: Oh, so you two are an item?

Blitzo glares intensely at the two, before nonchalantly polishing his gun and puts his sunglasses back on.

Blitzo: Well, congratulations, you fucking hypocrites.

As Blitzo says the last part, he looks grumpy at the two of them for their Hypocritical relationship

Rayden: not to break up this moment but I just sacrificed what remained of my dignity to stall for time...so get moving

 

Meanwhile, Mammon is dealing with the impatient audience, who are eager for Fizzarolli to perform.

Mammon: Uuuh- D-Don't worry, folks. I-I'm sure Fizzarolli will be out soon with a grand fucking performance.

Suddenly, there is a huge blue-coloured explosion of smoke, and Fizzarolli appears on stage, before an audience who cheers and claps. Satisfied, Mammon disappears and reappears back in his web-like seat with his Robo Fizz harem. The smoke clears to reveal a propped set with Fizzarolli at a deck. He puffs a cigarette that glows blue, before blowing neon blue smoke in the air for a dramatic effect. He begins singing

 

 

Then the crowd erupts with applause as Mammon angrily pushes over the Robo Fizz applauding and grabs a bag of popcorn from the second Robo Fizz to eat while brooding. Then Fizzarolli looks over at Asmodeus, who gives him an encouraging thumbs up, and then walks toward the audience.]

Fizzarolli: Thank you all so much. You know, it's always been one of the greatest thrills of my life performing. And I'm so glad to bring you all one, last show.

As he speaks, he looks to see the young imp from earlier waving to him. Then Fizzarolli says "Thank you" to him in sign language, which makes him smile.

Fizzarolli: Cuz' now... I quit!

The swelling music cuts out at the line "I quit", before Fizzarolli drops the microphone and walks away, leaving the audience booing and gasping in both shock and confusion. Mammon stares wide eyed before spitting chewed up popcorn at the remaining drag Robo Fizz.

Mammon: WHAT?!

Then Mammon disappears in electric green smoke, and then he appears right in front of Fizzarolli as he walks away, holding his scepter up close to his throat.

Mammon: QUIT?! You miserable piece of shit! What do you mean quit?!

Fizzarolli: *pushes scepter away from his throat, unfazed* I mean, I quit. *Walks around him* I'm done; (Australian accent) G'day, mate!

As he mocks Mammon, Fizzarolli flips two middle fingers at him while he stretches away, with his arms following after a second of staying in Mammon's face. Mammon growls in fury before six eyes appear above his standard ones, while electricity coalesces around him. Then he snarls before shouting, and then explodes in a massive cloud of crackling green smoke. Fizzarolli looks behind him, to see an enormous metallic spider leg with a dark tip slam just inches away from him, while Asmodeus watches behind the curtains in rising anger.

Asmodeus: Oh, that motherfucker.

Then the giant spider leg pulls back, tearing at the stage as it does so. The dissapating smoke reveals a giant green cocoon that begins to split apart.

Mammon: YOU FUCKING UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT!

From the giant green cocoon, Mammon bursts out in his full demon form, dwarfing Fizzarolli and dispelling the remaining smoke. Then he roars loudly and furiously as he looks down at Fizz, who stands his ground scowling confidently as Mammon leans forward into his face.

Mammon: I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! YOU ARE PRACTICALLY IN MY IMAGE! I RAISED YOU LIKE THE SON I DIDN'T WANT!

Mammon points his much larger finger at Fizzarolli, but he slaps his hand away and stares him down without fear, crossing his arms confidently. Mammon stares back in rage, but he notices a giant seal behind Fizzarolli, and suddenly, there's a burst of flame, followed by Asmodeus roaring in his full demon form.

Asmodeus: (demonic voice) YOU'D BETTER BACK THE FUCK UP, MAM!

Wally Wackford: Ho-ly shit! I say, I say.

Mastema runs onto the stage

Mammon: Ha-ha, hooo. Look who's acting like a big fuckin' hero. *gets up close to Asmodeus*Careful what you say, Ozzie. Wouldn't want your little secret getting out, would we?

Asmodeus: (gets in Mammon's face) I don't care anymore!

Fizzarolli: Ozz?

Mammon: Because if you let him quit, I could tell everyone here that you-

Asmodeus: What? That I love him? Well, I do!

Fizz gets briefly embarrassed.

Mastema: HA! PLOT TWIST!

Audience: *Fangirling* I knew it, I knew it!

Mammon stares at surprise as, instead of laughing at Fizzarolli and Asmodeus, everyone immediately went down to their phones, all overlapping each other as they texted and memed, all while saying "I knew it". Mammon just looks down blankly scratching his head in confusion and embarrassment.

Mammon: Oh...uh, shit, ah, you dirty bitch. Oh well in that case and since the fish are nowhere to be seen guess the whatzit is the winner and the new face of greed by default!!

Mastema: by default my favourite way to win!! But uh see there's an issue there.

Mammon: Ugh and the fuck is that?!

Mastema grips the whatzit outfit and rips it off revealing his original appearance making mammons eyes go wide

Mastema: I'm self employed sorry to say

Mammon: YOU!! YOU MASKED ANGEL FUCKER I'LL FUCKING VAPORIZE YOUR ASS!

Mastema: no you won't

Mammon: eh?

Mastema: I just walked into your house and showed you up at your own craft mam how's it gonna affect your income if you kill off the new biggest celebrity in greed with no backup solution? Plus killing a fellow sin? How's that gonna look in front of the others?

Mammon: *hisses* fuck you

Mastema: no amount of cash will ever make that possible moneybags

Mammon crawls away from mastema

Mammon: *slithers around Asmodeus and Fizzarolli* You are gonna regret revealing that, Ozz.

Mammon chuckles confidently as he crawls up to Fizzarolli's face to snort green smoke at him. As his laughing continues, Mammon provokes an enormous implosion around him, causing a huge cloud of crackling green smoke to engulf the circus tent; everyone besides Fizz and Asmodeus screams as the theatre collapses around them. When the cloud dissipates, Asmodeus is sheltering Fizzarolli under himself to protect him, and once he sees that he's safe, the latter starts hugging the former's face, much to Asmodeus' happiness. From behind the curtain, Glitz and Glam are seen collapsed, Glitz on top of Glam, before Glitz gets up.

Glitz: So, does that mean we win?

Glam gets up as well, and they both look confidently at each other

Rayden who's standing close by gently knocks against the stage causing a big wooden plank falls on top of them

Glitz & Glam: ACK!

Rayden: I feel better now

 

Cut to the limousine driving away, running over a photo with Mamon and Fizzarolli. Inside it, Asmodeus and Fizzarolli still being all lovey-dovey, Blitzo being squished between Asmodeus and the left wall of the limo.

Blitzo: So, uhm, who tops?

Fizzarolli groans as Asmodeus grins at him

 

Rayden is seen entering the hazbin hotel with jack

They open the door to see a sparkly eyed Charlie

Charlie: rayden you can sing!!

Rayden: oh god no

Charlie: *drags rayden off* I've got so many duets to try with you!!

Rayden: NEVER!!

Charlie: please?

Rayden: no!!

Charlie: please?

Rayden: NO

Charlie: please?

Rayden: yes

Charlie: really!?

Rayden: no!!!

 

 

The scene changes to Ozzies office where he stands holding a clipboard with papers

Mastema: y'know I expected more sex toys but this is rather pleasant

Mastema is revealed to be sitting across from Ozzie

Asmodeus: ok just be sure after this...condition. Is fulfilled we're done?

Mastema: correct. I'll never request anything from you again. Though you're always welcome in my casino if you want

Asmodeus: hmph

Mastema gets up to leave

Asmodeus: and this vote...what exactly does this afford me in the long run?

Mastema: how about a life where you don't have to hide your love life and can walk the streets proud of it?

Oz remained quiet as mastema was exiting the office

Mastema: I'm not the bad guy oz I'm not out to get any of you with this vote. I'm trying to fix things

Mastema is seen in the elevator with his phone

The screen displays a list of the sins names.

Asmodeus, beelzebub and belphegor have check marks next to their names while satan, mammon and leviathan did not

Mastema: 3 down...just need one more. Heh heh this just gets better and better 

 

Chapter 27: Full Moon

 

this transitions to a similar looking rose in a bush on Earth, where a mysterious looking mom picks up this rose with her baby. 'Unbeknownst' to her, the stroller rolls down the hill next to her at excessive speed. She quickly notices.

Human Mother: My baby! Someone save my baby!

The stroller continues to roll down the park, dodging some people playing Frisbee, ducks, and when it jumps over a pond, some alligators try to eat it, and the stroller jumps over them. A shark jumps over the alligators. The stroller then heads to the city, causing a car crash

Nearby, two men are carrying a pane of glass to a truck labeled "Pane in the Glass".

Worker: Sure hope this glass doesn't break.

The stroller not only breaks the pane of glass in it's path, but it also runs over one of the guys that carried it, injuring him as the glass pieces land on his backside.

Worker: IT BROKE!

Now, the stroller is on its way to an industrial facility. As we get closer, we see a guy pushing a ramp to the stroller's route with words on it that say "Inconvenient Ramp" with the "IN" part crossed out. A bird flies on one of the thingies and dies. On the way there, a guy is eating ice cream when the cream drops on the road. He picks up the cream and accidentally stops the stroller.

Human Mother: Oh, thank you! Thank you! [hugs him] How could I ever repay you?

Ice Cream Guy: No need, ma'am. I was just in the right place at the right time. [A glowing hand reaches to his wallet from the stroller. The guy eating ice cream walks off. The "mom" takes the stroller to a dark alley and kicks someone out of the cloak: Collin.]

Collin: [catches his breath] Did you have to hug him so hard? I'm at underwear level, you know, and that guy clearly hadn't showered today!

The mom takes off her disguise. It was Keenie all along.

Keenie: Oh, stop complaining. I had to sell it, didn't I? How'd we do, Cletus?

Cletus, who played the role of the baby, counts how much money they stole

Cletus: ...Not great. Let's set up for another run!

Collin: I don't know, Cletus. Doesn't this all seem a little... *whispers* sinful?

Cletus: We've been over this! We are still helpin' people. We just provided that man with an opportunity to be selfless and heroic.

Keenie: After that performance, he's sure to get into Heaven! We just saved a soul!

Collin: Is... that how it works?

Cletus: Don't you think eternal salvation is worth... 20 bucks and a Queeznos' punch card? [

Collin: I guess... it's just--

Keenie: You wanna eat, don't you? You wanna live long enough to save more souls and earn our way back into Heaven? [A security camera is seen watching the three cherubs right above them.]

Collin: Of course! I just--

Cletus slaps him.

Cletus: Well, then quiet your incessant whinging, and get back under that coat! We have to- [he is hit with a tranquilizer dart] Woah! Ohhh.... [He is knocked unconscious. The other two are shocked upon seeing this until they are electrically shocked by tasers.]

Cuts to D.H.O.R.K.S. interrogation room. Cletus, Collin and Keenie wake up in high chairs as a lamp's light shines on them.

Cletus: What? Where are we?

Agent One holds the lamp and leans towards the three cherubs.

Agent One: We ask the questions here, hellspawn.

Cletus: But I'm just a wittle baby! Why would you- *Cletus makes a cute face, until Agent Two slams his head down.* AGH!

Agent Two: Drop the bullshit! *punches Cletus into a table again* We know you're working for that demon filth!

Agent One: Where's your boss?

Keenie: What boss?

Agent One: This guy!

shows a Blitzo doodle

Collin: You know that... peanut head?

Agent Two: So that's his name...

Cletus: You know, I think maybe we can help each other out here.

 

 

Cuts to I.M.P Headquarters, Loona opening a portal from Earth and Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie and rayden exiting.

Blitzo: Hard shooting there, Mox, pro as usual! Millie, beautiful bloody mess in there. Rayden…continue being you. Mwah! What a great fuckin' day this is!

Cut to where they just were, in an alley. Blood and gore is everywhere. The singular child left looks traumatized by what he sees around him. A couple of bodies are lying on the ground, two corpses are pinned to each side of the walls, another dead body lies on the curb, in the middle distance one is strung up between several buildings by ropes, and splatters of blood line every wall.

Moxxie: You sure seem in good spirits today, sir. It's rare to see you wear something-

Rayden: not gut wrenchingly out of style?

Moxxie: yeah that

Blitzo: Well, it's the-- first of all, fuck you. It's the Full Moon, I got to meet up with Stolas tonight. Felt like dressing up a little since it's been a few months since I've been inside of his feathered ass.

Moxxie: A few months?!

Blitzo: Yeah, the bird started giving me more ways out of our monthly fuck-sesh. He'd be all like "Oh, Blitzy, I know it's the Full Moon tonight, but you don't have to come if you don't want to, Blitzy", so I've just been taking breaks from having to plow his feathered ass into his fancy ass mattress.

Moxxie: Ugh... TMI, sir.

Blitzo: Point being: tonight I feel like I could use a little fuckery. It's been a good day, feeling like my stamina's up. And I'm horny.

Loona: Oh shit. He's getting bored of you.

Blitzo: Whaaaat?

Loona: Yeah, man. If someone wants to see you less and less, big red flag. If they give you chances to ditch, they probably want out themselves. Just wanna be more passive aggressive about it. Dicks.

Blitzo: How do you know... Loona?

She mysteriously disappears. Blitzo's phone rings and it's Loona

Loona: *through the phone* 'Cause I do that all the time.

Rayden: agreed. I mean…I’d dump your ass if it were me

Blitzo: *hangs up* Well, tits. Guess I finally gotta do Position 37 tonight. Don't worry, though, this book ain't going nowhere if I have anything to fuck about it. I'll dick him so good, he'll let us keep this thing another year easy.

Moxxie: Well, I hope so, sir! Business has actually hit a peak, and it would be disastrous to lose what we worked for now. So, fuck him good, sir!

Blitzo: Don't worry, Mox. By the end of the night, I'll have Stolas eating out of my ass... if the gag will let him! Eh? Eh? [laughs]

Rayden: explain any further and I’ll hang your head on a wall

Blitzo: Okay, grow up, rayden. That's what adults do, we're horny…well except you with your dead ass sex life.

Rayden: fuck you

Blitzo: not in your- wait…you took offence to that? You never take offence to my sick as hell insults

Rayden: I didn’t…I was mocking you

Blitzo: uh huh *he goes through the toys* Fuuuuuck me, we've used like, all the shit in this box. If Stolas is bored after this, I need to up the ante.

Blitzo puts the grimoire in a shopping bag, getting ready to go out.

Blitzo: Moxxie, I need you to hold down the fort. Get some overdue paperwork done.

Moxxie: What overdue paperwork?

Blitzo dumps a mountain of paperwork labeled "JUST GIVE TO MOKSIE" on top of him as he leaves the office

The rooms quiet for a minute

Rayden: show of hands who doesn’t trust him to not screw this up

Moxxie, millie and loona put their hands up

Rayden: so we follow him from a distance like slashers in movies?

Moxxie/Millie/Loona: yep

Rayden: right my guess is he’s going to lust to pick up some stuff. you 3 can follow him on the ground I can take the rooftops

Moxxie: agreed

The group then hear knocks at the door

Rayden answers the door

Rayden: sorry but we’re closed for the- oh hello ms. Carmine. Girls

Moxxie: carmine!?

Moxxie immediately gets to his knees and bows

Carmilla: sorry are we interrupting something?

Rayden: not exactly…we were about to head out on some scouting on our bosses love life

Odette: you’re stalking him?

Rayden: no we’re just following him for a distance to make sure he does things the right way so our business stays afloat

Clara: that’s a form of stalking

Millie: eh they’re not wrong

Rayden: hm. What beings you here anyway? It’s not Wednesday

Odette: well~

Clara: mom wanted to ask you something very important~

The girls pushed their mother up front as she looks on edge

Rayden: well go on…I’m listening

Carmilla:……….it…can wait until you’re done

The girls facepalm

Odette: or how about she goes with you?

Carmilla: odette! That’s-!

Rayden: I’ve got no issue there…*looks to the imps and loona* well?

They all shrug

Rayden: right you can come. I doubt much exciting moments will occur though

Carmilla: I can live with that

Moxxie: wait what about this paperwork?

Rayden: oh yeah…I’ll send it somewhere

Rayden walks downstairs to prepare some transport with carmilla

Millie watches with Clara and odette as they walk away

Millie: so…how long have your ma’ and rayden had that tension?

Odette: annoyingly long

Clara: though we have it on good authority they fucked in lust

Moxxie: *spits drink*

Loona: we talking about the same rayden?

Clara: yep they like each other and close to everyone knows it

Odette: we’re just trying get one of them to make a move...which quite frankly is getting frustrating

 

 

Back at DHORKS HQ

Agent One: So why would a bunch of angels be looking for demons?

Collin: We just want to get back into--

Cletus: We're Exorcists, the flaming swords of the Heavens in service of Lord Zarathos, here to strike them down with fiery vengeance!

Keenie: Uhh- Yeah, yeah! We lay in wait for them to return to Earth, so we might smite them once and for all!

 

IN HEAVEN

Zarathos: hm strange I feel greatly offended

 

Collin: What are you guys talking about- *Cletus kicks Collin's shin.* OWWW!

The agents nodded at each other in silence, smirking.

Agent Two: ...Maybe you don't have to wait.

Agent One: Come with us.

The agents lead the cherubs down to an underground basement, the three of them looking in awe at the sight of the massive complex. They ride on a moving platform as Two starts to move the platform forward. As the platform moves, Keenie looks down in awe as she sees a battalion of similar-looking priests marching with holy rifles in arms.

Agent One: Since their assault on 'Compound X', our government has quadrupled our funding and allowed us unfettered access to the most bleeding edge military advancements.

Agent Two: Demonic containment cells, Hellfire suppression suits, camouflage exoskeletons and a battalion of highly trained combat priests! All so we could finally utilize, this.

The platform stops just before a control panel.

Cletus: What is it?

Agent Two: Our ticket to the other side.

Two activates the generator with a press of the button.

Agent One: An extra-dimensional portal generator. This bad boy will allow us to open a door straight into Hell, where we plan on eliminating the demonic threat before they can tarnish this great country!

The cherubs all looked in silence as the agents looked at the generator.

Agent One: ...Well uh, once we work out all the kinks, yeah.

Keenie: Kinks?

The generator finishes it's process, leaving open a small sized portal.

Agent Two: So far we've only been able to open the portal about 2 feet in diameter. Hardly big enough to fit a child through.

Agent One: And we can't very well send children. ...Not after last time.

Cuts to a flashback of kids going through the portal and getting instantly eviscerated at once by mysterious eye-covered tentacles, their bones and blood being launched back out of the portal.

Agent One: Those goddamn American heroes...

Agent Two: Honestly, we're not even sure that was Hell we sent them to. Point is, we could use someone or someones, with more... experience. How about it, little guys?

Both: Wanna help us hunt some demon scum?

Cletus and Keenie look at each other, interested, before glancing down at Collin, who gave a concerned look at them.

Cletus and Keenie: FUCK YEAH, HA HA!!!

The demon-proof armor suits are shown in their capsules. Agent One is seen typing and creating a simulated image of Cletus inside his respective suit, with the words on his screen saying "DEMON EXOSKELETON 001". A robotic arm reaches out and fits the pieces onto Cletus, and he shoots a small rocket onto a cardboard drawing resembling Blitzo. Collin walks out of his capsule in full armor, while Keenie flies out of hers and sticks a landing. She flies briefly and joins Cletus & Collin. Agent One is seen excitedly running beside them in a fursuit resembling Loona. Agent Two denies him further access and hands Cletus a tracking gadget, and Agent One walks away in a dejected fashion.

The cherubs are seen walking towards the portal, and then pulling their armor out of the demonic hole which led them inside the Lust Ring. Looking out in the city from a rooftop, Cletus presses several buttons on the gadget.

 

 

The scene cuts to Blitzo entering a candle shop located in the Lust Ring. He views a candle display before turning his head at the sound of the shopkeeper's voice as all the nearby candles are lit.

Shopkeeper: Welcome, little one. What can I interest you in today?

Blitzo: I'm looking for a snazzy candle. One that screams 'sexy'. You got anything that will get anyone in the mood, buddy?

Shopkeeper: BITCH, you're in the Lust Ring! Everything here has sexy energy~. But what kind of mood are you aiming for?

Blitzo: Just... horny? H-gre-v-ver- very horny. Max horny.

Shopkeeper: They're all horny! What's the mood?

Blitzo: I don't know! I'm a simple pervert imp. I just need something fucky.

Cletus and Keenie fly down to the rooftop of the candle shop, with Keenie carrying Collin. She throws him on the ground as Cletus checks his beeping gadget.

Collin: Ooooh! There he is!

Keenie: Let's take him!

Collin and Keenie look at Blitzo from the window on the ceiling, when suddenly Blitzo turns around. Cletus drags them away in the last second.

Cletus: Hold on! Where's the rest of them? He wasn't alone before. I say we follow him for a bit, make sure he's by himself especially if that freaky one in the hat is nearby *shivers*

Keenie: Cletus, if we don't do this, we're never getting back into Heaven!

Cletus: Which is why we have to make sure this goes smoothly! We have only one shot. It has to be perfect.

Cletus looks over and notices Blitzo entering a sex toy shop. The cherubs sneak in and spy on Blitzo, who is currently being measured by the shopkeeper.

Shopkeeper Spider: Do you know the measurements of the other one?

Blitzo: Uh, not really. But he's tall as shit.

Shopkeeper Spider: Well, we have some pretty long harnesses. Also can't go wrong with something that stretches. [He reaches over and shows Blitzo one of the harnesses.

Blitzo: Ooh, that is fancy. Alright, I'm into it.

The cherubs look around the store in disgust.

Collin: Sweet heavens, what kind of store is this?

Keenie: This guy truly is a SICKO!

The shopkeeper suddenly appears behind them, startling them.

Shopkeeper Spider: Can I help you all?

Cletus, Keenie, and Collin: AHH!

Cletus, Keenie and Collin quietly approach the shopkeeper, trying to be inconspicuous but just come of as awkward. Blitzo takes his newly bought purchases and leaves the shop.

Cletus: Hello, fellow vile hellbeast. We are on a totally normal demon day, just out lookin' to get some good tormenting in. We need some good to-... *gags* torture... supplies.

Shopkeeper Spider: Well, you have come to the right place, my slyly robotic looking friend. What kind of torturing are we looking to do?

Cletus: Oh! You know, just your standard... pain.

Collin: As long as it doesn't hurt too much. Like, do you have any harshly worded bumper stickers?

Shopkeeper Spider: Uhhh...

Keenie: Or something for a mild spanking?

Shopkeeper Spider: Oh, that we have in spades! We got your floggers, your crops, your whips, your whisks, studded, un-studded, wooden, leather, titanium, brimstone, what are you intoooo??

They all blankly stare in shock.

Cletus: I don't know if that's exactly what we're looking for. What was that other horrid hellspawn looking at?

Shopkeeper Spider: Oh, just some of those.

He points over to an area full of torture devices and whips while horrific music plays. Collin faints and they all flee the store via jetpack.

Keenie: Cletus, he's clearly on his way to claim another innocent earthly soul in some sick barbaric fashion! We have to stop him!

Cletus: Not yet, we have to wait... for our moment.

 

Unknown to the cherubs rayden is observing them from a distance with binoculars on a rooftop with carmilla

Rayden: they’re cute when they think they’re any good at their job. Tch

Carmilla: what exactly are these angels doing here anyway?

Rayden: they’re a bunch of hypocrites who are sore because we got them fired

Carmilla gave him a look

Rayden: ok I called their superior and got them kicked out of heaven

Carmilla giggled

Carmilla: you never let anyone off the hook do you?

Rayden: *adjusts bionoculars* nope…

Carmilla is silent for a moment before taking a breath

Carmilla: rayden how would you-

They’re cut off by an arrow hitting the ledge of the building and start beeping

Rayden: shit…

Rayden tackles carmilla as the arrow detonates

The pair get up from the explosion dusting off rubble

Corsintheus lands in his new armour flys in front of the two

(NOT MY ART)

Corsintheus: rayden blackveil…at long last for crimes against heaven you’ve been sentenced to-

Rayden: who’re you?

Corsintheus just stares blankly

Corsintheus: seriously?! I’m Corsintheus!! Angel of the hunt, elite of the elite! Servant of lord Zara-

Rayden: yeah I don’t remember you at all

Corsintheus: *eyes twitch* I’m the wielder of the angelic crossbow!!

Rayden: mmmm

Corsintheus: i knee stabbed you in the gut!!

Rayden: tsssss

Corsintheus: YOU BIT OFF MY FUCKING HAND!! *gestures with robotic hand*

Rayden: ohhhh… yeah still got nothing

Corsintheus grips his fists in anger at raydens ignorance

Corsintheus: ok you know what fuck it I’m just gonna kill you and get out of this cesspit

Rayden: who said you’ll be leaving? *pulls out gun and fires*

The bullets ricochet off the armour

Corsintheus: sorry blackveil. Rule one of hunting…adapt to survive

The armour glows yellow and corsintheus charges at rayden like a blur flying them out of sight towards the cherubs direction

Carmilla quickly gives chase

 

Cut to Blitzo walking into what may be the backroom of Ozzie's with Fizzarolli beside him.

Blitzo: Y'know, thanks for doing me this solid, Fizz. I gotta get the good shit for tonight, and I know you and Ozz make the best toys in town.

Fizzarolli: I got you, buddy. We have some new prototypes that I think will get the job done for a fancy gentleman like yourself.

He hops over to a keypad and enters a code, revealing the entire store unfolded by a large pair of wings. Blitzo stares at everything around him in awe. Fizzarolli hops over and opens a compartment full of lingerie and bondage style outfits.

Fizzarolli: Now, we have got these new beads, oohh! They're made of real obsidian.

Blitzo: Oh, that's beautiful. But y'know, Stolas never really seemed into the beads.

Fizzarolli: Alrighty, not into the beads, I get it. Fancier, then. We have some stylish blindfolds. Our new collection has encrusted jewels.

Blitzo: Oh shit, those are niiice!

Fizzarolli goes into a curtain and reveals a giant-size spiked dildo underneath it.

Fizzarolli: And if you're feeling really frisky, we have the new, Dragon Driller 5000! Now with vibration!

He pulls onto the cord attached, causing tentacle-like pieces to move around and vibrate. He laughs maniacally while holding it. Blitzo is impressed.

Blitzo: Theeere we go, that's his speed! I will take that!

Cut back to the Cherubs hiding in a bush. Collin uses binoculars and observes the line outside of Ozzie's, showing the imp in front talking to the bouncers.

Collin: Heavens, what is this place? It's so heavily guarded.

Keenie: A-Armory? War room?

Cletus: bonks Keenie on the head] Quiet! Don't you realize stealth is our greatest advantage here?

A few succubi walk pass the Cherubs, noticing them but paying them no mind. A succubi couple walks by and are amused by them.

Succubus: Oh darling, look, voyeurs! Positively adorable, darling.

Through Collin's binoculars, Fizzarolli is seen exiting a garage driving a forklift which is carrying the dildo Blitzo bought earlier.

Collin: I think he's coming- OH GOD! What's that?!

Cletus rips the binoculars off of Collin's armor and looks.

Cletus: [Keenie looks through the binoculars] Dear... God...

Keenie: He's going to use THAT? On an innocent person?! We have to stop him now!

Cletus: You're right. Okay guys, it's time. Now's our moment. Remember everything that horny little fudgeknuckle and that red eyed freak did to us because now, we make them pay. For the humans, for the heavens, and most of all for us! LET'S GO KICK SOME ASS! LET'S FUCK 'EM UP!

Suddenly, Cletus is knocked to the ground. He looks up to find Millie standing in front of him, holding her axe and ominously looks at the cherubs.

Collin: W-What? How did you- OH! *Loona appears and hits Collin to the ground as well.*

Loona: Find ya? We were already following our dumbass boss to make sure he doesn't fuck up and lose our meal ticket.

Keenie spots Blitzo and tries going after him, until Moxxie appears from the shadows and fires his gun near her.

Moxxie: And you weren't exactly "covert".

Suddenly something comes crashing down from the sky landing in the centre of them all

Rayden is tossed up then punched into a building

Corsintheus: oh this is cathartic!! *notices cherubs and IMP* the fuck are you three pipsqueaks doing here?

Collin was shaking in fear

Keenie: EEP!

Cletus: uhhh we’re here to save the souls of the pure humans by dispatching-

Corsintheus: shut up

Cletus: yes sir…

Corsintheus: *groans* fine I can kill you when I’m done here

The cherubs all look petrified

Plastique bombs are thrown at corsintheus chest plate exploding and pushing him back a bit

Corsintheus: speaking of which

He charges at rayden grabbing his neck and dragging him violently up it’s side

Cletus: FIGHT! We’re not done yet!

Cletus extends his robotic arm and punches Loona, then fires a missile from his other arm towards Millie. She dodges it with her axe, causing an explosion that sends her into an XXX shop next to her. Moxxie shoots some more at the cherubs.

Cletus: The boss! Get their BOSS!

He launches two missiles from each of his arms, making Moxxie flee.

Collin aims a firearm towards Blitzo, hesitating on where to shoot until Loona comes in and stops him.

Loona: No you don't, bitch!

She takes the gun from him and shoots it at an oblivious Incubus. The bullet almost hits Blitzo, until he kneels down and picks up a coin on the ground. Blitzo continues walking and notices the body that just fell in front of him.

Blitzo: Hey, wake up asshole.

 

Corsintheus throws rayden down onto the roof of the building and lands on him

His robotic hand begins rotating rapidly becoming a sort of drill which he jabs into raydens side

Rayden manages to kick him off as he clutches his side

Corsintheus fires a rope spear through his mechanical arm pulling rayden towards him

He grasps his head then starts mercilessly punching his face breaking his goggles

Corsintheus: you know I’m starting to like the new hand..but seeing you with one? Well I’m awfully jealous

Rayden is pinned to the ground by Corsintheus’ foot as he pulls the rope tearing off raydens mechanical arm

Corsintheus: there that’s better

He conjures a spear and impaling above raydens chest lifting him above him as rayden tries to free himself

Corsintheus: as sinners should be…at our mercy. Always the lesser beings. You’re dirt no lower than that you’re fucking dust…people care nothing for dust unless it becomes visible then beings like me are sent to clean up…because you. Are. Fucking. PREY

Rayden vomits a large amount of blood onto Corsintheus

Corsintheus: ugh disgusting cambi-

Corsintheus is cut off by carmilla charge kicking his helmet knocking him away and dropping the spear and rayden onto the ground

Corsintheus regains his footing albeit with a damaged helmet and visor

Carmilla: prey can still fight back pendejo

 

Moxxie hides behind some debris looking for a chance to fire. Keenie flies toward Moxxie but stops as a few sex toys fly by her. Millie has emerged from the shop, ready for round 2. Collin attemps to shoot Loona with his gun but Loona grabs it as he fires and pushes it away from her, causing Collin to shoot at the ground leading up to Keenie and Millie's fight. Millie uses the hilt of her damaged battle axe to grab a sewer lid to block the bullets then slams it into Keenies knife hands, then pushes it to the ground, breaking them off of her armor.

Millie: to Keenie Sorry hun, you can play as me, but that don't mean you're anywhere close--

Cletus' robot arm grabs and pulls Millie, while Keenie get dragging along as well since Mille's tail is around Keenie's neck. Keenie takes one of the broken blades and stabs Millie's leg. Millie screams as Keenie prepares to attack only to be shot at by Moxxie.

Millie: Mox!

Millie releases Keenie and flings her into a wall. Moxxie then pins her to the ground and aims his gun at her.

Moxxie: Welcome to Hell, bitch!

Keenie then grabs Moxxie and flies into the sky. Millie leaps onto Cletus, removes the blade from her leg and uses it to cut off Cletus' robot arm.

Cletus: Wait, what in the-

Millie stabs Cletus' jetpack with the blade, which sends them both into the sky. In the air, Keenie is punching Moxxie repeatedly, while Millie is on Cletus' back. She hops over to Moxxie and Keenie, letting Cletus fall. Meanwhile, Collin is shooting repeatedly at a large board Loona is hiding behind. One of the bullets hits her shoulder, causing her to briefly shift into her human disguise, making her less of a target due to its shorter stature his visor opens in the process, showing he does not look happy about shooting at her.

Cletus falls on top of Collin while Loona peeks out from her hiding place.

Millie stabs Keenie's jetpack with the blade, causing the three of them comically stop in midair before plummeting. Loona sees them falling and shifts back to her hellhound form. She grabs Cletus' gauntlet and fires a missile towards a building where a couple where enjoying the penthouse pool, intending to use the pool to cushion the imps fall.

Blitzo hears this and turns around, but a truck with a promotional Robo Fizz graphic (which shows they are on a blowout sale as Mammon doesn't want them anymore) pulls up right by him.

Moxxie shoves Keenie away, while the building crashes to the ground in front of Loona. Millie and Moxxie fall into the pool then begin to make out after Keenie crashes beside the wreckage. Blitzo continues walking away, unaware of the battle that just occured.

Cletus drags himself, Keenie and Collin away and uses the device to activate the portal to Earth. Loona grabs them and kicks them through the portal, confiscating their device. They end up back in the D.H.O.R.K.S. office, face-to-face with Agent One and Agent Two. Agent One is still in his Loona fursuit, and Agent Two has him on a leash while holding a coffee mug.

Agent Two: Soooo... how'd it go?

 

Carmilla is still holding her own against Corsintheus as he tries charging at her only for her elegant techniques to dodge him repeatedly

He tries firing arrows at her only to be met with the same result

Carmilla: distance fighting, you angels always use long range techniques upgrades or not you’re predictable

To cut off his main attacks carmilla gets close to Corsintheus and uses her steel boots to knock him in the face before using his body to launch her self into the air

She descends down spinning

Corsintheus crosses his arms up blocking the attack except she lands on one foot balancing on his arms

Carmilla: and easy to fool

She jabs her other boot into Corsintheus’ eye making him cry out in pain

Corsintheus uses his armoured wings to knock her against the roof

Corsintheus: I’LL FUCKING CARVE YOU!!

He hits a button on his armour

Several large blades of angelic steel detach from his back and hover in the air pointed at carmilla.

Rayden is managing to regain his strength and sees the blades pointed at carmilla

The blades charge and carmilla shields herself

 

 

What happened next…was it strategy?

Instinct?

Logic?

No

Something rayden had never conceived of before

 

 

When carmilla opens her eyes rayden is in front of her

All over he is punctured by the blades and bleeding out

Rayden: *cough* you…really make me do *cough cough* strange things…

Carmilla has a horrified look

The blades are pulled back to Corsintheus along with rayden

Corsintheus: seriously? That’s what it takes?!! A woman?! You gave up your life for a fucking woman!!??……heheheh well there’s stupider ways to die…but I’m not satisfied with that

Corsintheus jabs his hand into raydens body making him convulse blood as he rips out his heart

He crushes the heart splattering himself with blood before dropping raydens body

Corsintheus:….I did it…HAHAHAHA I AM THE APEX HUNTER!! NO SINNER CAN ESCAPE ME!!

Carmilla: *tearfully* cowardice…

Corsintheus: eh?

Carmilla: *tearfully* bullet proof armour, enhanced armour hunters hunt on honour and fairness…you are no hunter you are the embodiment of an angelic coward!!

Corsintheus: you know I almost forgot about you! I was only sent here to kill the freak but throwing in those extra kills can really upgrade your reputation *walks toward carmilla* so what if I have no honour? I live for the trophies, the killing the….burning?

the blood on Corsintheus’ armour starts sizzling and melt as he starts scrambling

Corsintheus: AH!! THE FUCK?! WHAT IS THIS STUFF?! AAHHHH!!!

A katana blade suddenly erupts from his chest. He turns his head to see Rayden standing with a hole in his chest

Corsintheus: how……

Rayden throws Corsintheus against the ledge

Corsintheus: how?!!! I crushed your heart!!

Rayden: oh you have no idea what someone like me is willing to do to survive…

Corsintheus: YOU THINK THIS’LL STOP WITH ME?!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU PISSED OFF! HE’LL SEND MORE!! YOU’RE NOTHING COMPARED TO US!! YOU’RE AN ABOMINATION! A FREAK OF CREATION YOU FUCKING RANCID HALF-BRE

He’s cut off by the spear rope impaling his mouth which rayden ties to the roof

Rayden: for a hunter…you talk a lot

Rayden then kicks him off the edge

Corsintheus’ body falls until the rope snags ripping his head off hanging from the roof while the body hits the ground in front of moxxie, millie and Loona

Rayden stares at the horizon wheezing and barely standing

Carmilla: rayden?

he stands still silent

Rayden:…mom…you told me when life flashes before your eyes you see people who love you…..I didn’t see anyone…

Rayden falls forward off the building

He lands on a car

moxxie, millie and Loona rush over to him as carmilla skids down the building

Moxxie: he’s not breathing…rayden!! Stay with us!!

Loona dials a hospital on her phone

Carmilla pushes past the imps and looks down at the slipping soul

Carmilla: *tears in eyes* stay awake rayden!! You don’t get to die after all this!! Please stay awake!!

Sirens are heard in the distance

 

 

Cut to Stolas' palace, while he's shown sitting on his bed, anxiously tapping his foot and twiddling his thumbs, looking troubled. A bag is thrown over into his room, and Blitzo climbs up from the balcony, happily greeting Stolas.

Blitzo: Hi-dee ha hoo ha, Stolas! Guess what I got for us? [He grabs the bag and pulls it closer to Stolas.] I got lots of fun shit for us to play with tonight! [He digs through the bag and pulls out a large candle with "Dankee" written on it.] Like this extra large candle that smells like... [sniff]hooorny! [He pulls out a butt plug reminiscent of a gnome.] I got- I got whatever, uh, this little guy is. [seductively] But I'm sure there's some place in your cloaca we can stick it. And look at this bad boy! [He pulls out the Dragon Driller, activating the vibration.] HAHAHA!

Stolas looks at him, not particularly happy to see these items. Blitzo's smile slightly fades.

Stolas: Do you.. ahem- Do you have my book, Blitzo?

Blitzo: Yeah, uh, y-yeah, it's right here, I always bring it. Why do you...

Stolas: I... need it back. Permanently.

Blitzo is about to hand him the book, but clutches onto it.

Blitzo: N-N-Now hold on, Stolas. Come on. Is this because I've taken up skipping a few rounds with you in bed because I'm busy? That ain't fair. Alright, I-I can still hold up my end of the bargain. Alright? L-Let me show you a good time tonight. [He reaches his hand out to Stolas]You know I cannn..

Stolas: Please don't... say it like that, Blitzo. I-

Blitzo: Come onnnn, bitch. [He spreads Stolas' legs, causing Stolas to blush for a moment.] You know I don't disappoint~

Stolas: No, no, no, no. There's no need. [He gets up and starts to walk off] I've made up my mind.

[Blitzo follows him and suddenly starts panicking.]

Blitzo: Stolas, please! I-I need this book, please! [pause] I need this book, Stolas. I will do anything.

[Stolas presents to Blitzo an Asmodean Crystal while levitating his grimoire.]

Stolas: This is an Asmodean Crystal. It's registered in your name.

Blitzo: Uh, what?

Stolas: Asmodeus has his demons legally travel to Earth for work all the time. I made the case for you to own one. [He hands the crystal to Blitzo.] You will be technically under his jurisdiction, but you will be able to go anywhere you want in the human realm without fear of consequence. [He puts his grimoire back on the shelf.] Without breaking demon law. You no longer need my grimoire.

Blitzo: [sheepishly] What...

Stolas: You... no longer have any obligation to see me, to touch me, to bed me, you are... you are free of me.

Blitzo: I... don't understand. Why are you giving me this? Am I not, like, fucking you good enough? Because I-I can always- I can always do better--

Stolas: Blitzo, I'm giving you this because I care.... very deeply for you. And I have for some time. [He places the crystal onto Blitzo's glove, embedding itself into his hand.] But this transactional thing we have, it's not right anymore. It hasn't been. It never was. And now all I can see is how wrong it is to be so tethered to someone in such an unfair way... and not know how they feel. But I want you to continue to be who you are, your business. You don't have to stay here with me. [He removes his hat.] But... I want you to. I want you to stay here with me because you want to. Only if you want to.

Blitzo only blinks twice, before smiling with a confident tone.

Blitzo: Oooookay, alright, you're fucking with me.

Stolas is visibly shocked by Blitzo's answer as he heads up to his bed. Stolas then looks heartbroken and sad, his suspicions of his love not being mutual having been true.

Blitzo: This is an interesting roleplay. Never done this one, but I can get into it. Alright, how's this, okay...

He turns around and looks back at Stolas with a dreamy expression, playing along with his notion that this is all a joke.

Blitzo: "Oh, Stolas. I'll stay with you. I love you sooo much, I-" [Stolas puts his hand up, signaling for Blitzo to stop, and putting his hat back on.]

Stolas: Thank you, Blitzo. For awakening me... for making me so happy. Even if only for a little while. [pause] I wish you the best with your business.

He walks off.

Blitzo: Wait, what? You were serious? Oh, hold on now, Stols. What the fuck?

Stolas: I have my answer, Blitzo. You needn't say anything. I have wanted you for so long, the fact that you couldn't believe that I might have these feelings about you, that your first instinct is that it's always... about sex. That's enough to know what this is.

Blitzo: What?! FUCK you, Stolas! You spring this feelings bullshit on me, are you fucking kidding? Can I get a FUCKING minute to think after everything you put me through, you pompous, rich ASSHOLE?!

Stolas stops upon hearing that word as it echoes throughout the empty room. Blitzo walks around in circles before angrily approaching Stolas as he continues his venting.

Blitzo: Treat me like one of your little butler imps?! You can't just dismiss me like that! [He begins tearing up.] I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this EVERY TIME, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as IMPORTANT! Well, I'm not letting you, BITCH! LET'S GO!

Stolas shuts down after Blitzo's outburst, and his lip quivers. Blitzo's expression gets less angry as he begins to process what he has said to Stolas and how he is taking this.

Stolas: Blitzo... I think so very highly of you... [His voice breaks and he begins to cry.] I didn't realize you think so low of me...

Blitzo's eyes widen in shock, realizing that Stolas' feelings were completely genuine.

Stolas: Goodbye, Blitzo. [He looks at Blitzo for the last time, with tears falling down his face.]

Blitzo: Stolas, wait! I'm s-

He reaches out, but before he can apologize, Stolas transports him outside of the palace, left alone in complete shock and confusion.

Blitzo: What... the... FUUUUUUUUCK?!

Camera pans up at the sky as Blitzo screams out.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

 

 

(A/N FIRST OF ALL MY APOLOGIES TO ANYONE WHO HAD TO RELIVE THAT TRAGIC EPISODE AND SORRY FOR MAKING IT MORE DREADFUL.

SECOND OF ALL I WILL BE SKIPPING THE APOLOGY TOUR CHAPTER SINCE THERE’S NO WAY FOR RAYDEN TO FIT INTO THAT

INSTEAD I WILL BE CREATING MY OWN ORIGINAL CHAPTER WHICH INCLUDES I.M.P AND THE CARMINE FAMILY IN A RACE TO SAVE RAYDEN. AND AT LONG LAST I UNVEIL RAYDENS ORIGIN!

STAY TUNED~)

 

Chapter 28: Mending the Broken

Hospitals are already nerve racking to begin with, the uncertainty, the sharp objects everywhere the beeping of monitors

But when the patient is an assassin who's never been this close to a second death and is barely clinging to life right in front of your eyes

Well a hospital can be a horrifying thing to a carmine

Behind a sheet of glass lays raydens unconscious and heavily damaged body hooked up to a multitude of tubes and electrodes as surgeons surrounded him

On the other side stood carmilla and her daughters next to moxxie, millie and loona

Moxxie had dialed blitz a few times but he never responded

Clara: he's gonna live...right? There's no way he'll let himself go down like this, right mom?

Carmilla didn't answer she just looked at rayden with a looming sense of guilt hanging over her

She felt partially responsible for this incident. Perhaps if she hadn't shown up at his office maybe rayden wouldn't be clinging to life in a vegetative state

Millie: of course he'll pull through!...he's rayden! He'd never let anything do him in!

Odette: yeah! He's a warrior! A fighter! A survivor! A-

Doctor: (offscreen) hopeless case!!

All the surgeons are seen exiting the room all with third degree burns on their bodies

Doctor: that guy is impossible to operate on! All his organs are shoved around, some bones I'm not sure are even bones and his blood is acidic to anything!!! *inhales* I'm sorry ms. Carmine but trying to repair that much damage to body...you're asking the impossible of us-

Carmilla kicks the doctor against the wall knocking him out breathing heavily

Loona: wait so that's it?

Moxxie: we just leave him here?

Millie: *trying to hold back tears* there's gotta be something! Some kind of medicine or robot upgrade you can give him right?

Carmilla: my advancements can't heal a body that damaged....

Millie collapsed on the ground as moxxie held her

Loona was struggling to hold her tears back as well

Rayden may not have been the friendliest co-worker but he was loyal where he needed to be and had saved their hides in a few situations

Yet when the roles were reversed they couldn't do a thing for him

Clara and odette stared through window

All the memories and lessons and this where it would end

His lessons

The girls share a look

Odette: mother we have an idea!

Clara: a while ago rayden told us if he was ever in a situation to take him to.. *pulls out a card* this dress he said someone there could fix him up!

Carmilla looked at the card carefully

Carmilla: this place is on the outskirts of imp city...

Moxxie: the bloodlands!?

Clara: sorry bloodlands?

Millie: a death sentence for demons n' sinners.

Loona: People who walk in there don't come out. Anyone who does begs for death afterwards

Odette: raydens paradise it would seem

Carmilla thought over it for a minute it was risky but if there was a chance someone in these Bloodlands could heal rayden she'd take the chance

Carmilla: we'll go...all of us

 

 

The carmines car was driving over the terrain of the area.

The land was discoloured everywhere with stray pieces of junk and long dead bodies everywhere they looked

Some bodies were strung up on wooden poles mangled beyond recognition

Moxxie caught sight of one that had the word "UGLY" carved on it's body making convulse and look away

Inside the car Clara and odette were monitoring the life support machine rayden was strapped to making sure it stayed functional

Eventually the car stops near a lone warehouse in a barren field where the dress seemed to be

The group wheels rayden out on a stretcher as they look over the warehouse with the sound of flies

Clara: well this should be it

Loona: ugh what is that smell?

Millie: it's like a bunch of dead meat that sat in shit for 100 years

They walk toward the building

carmilla knocks on the door

A hole opens on the door a long metallic road emerges with a sinners eye wired into it which bewildered the group

Moxxie: that's an eye...

Millie: yup

Moxxie: that is someones real eye

The eye zooms in at moxxie staring deep into his soul unblinking

The eye then retreats into the hole and the door opens

The group enters the building

Lights turn on and a musical tune activates

Then half of them go pale

There were bodies everywhere, in cages, hanging from hooks, some even still alive with robotic implants fused to them

As they walk through they hear some of the things groaning and screeching

Creature: k-k-kill me

Creature 2: he's insane....

Creature 3: *clicking noise*

Clara: are we sure this the right place?

Carmilla: this is the only building in the area and judging by the...décor. Whoever did this is definitely someone rayden would associate with

Moxxie: with all due respect ms. Carmine this place doesn't scream medical professional

Loona: although it's literally screaming

Odette: least everything living is contained

Odette then hears a crunching noise beneath here foot

She looks down to see a severed hand

Odette: ugh charming

The hand uses hits fingers to stand upright

Hand: SCREEEE!!!

Odette: AHHH!! *instinctively kicks hand out of sight* WHAT IS THIS HOUSE OF HORROR!?

Odette has leaped into loonas arms

Loona: get off. Right now

Odette: sorry sorry

She gets off loona

The group then hears a multitude of cracking and clicking noises behind the. They slowly turn around to see a mountain of hand creatures hissing with hunger

Odette jumps back into loonas arms

Millie: RUN!!!

The mountain descends on the group like a flood as they try to outrun the carnivorous creatures

Millie catches one and crushes it

One lands on moxxies face but he manages to pull it off

Moxxie: AHA!

The hand uses two of it's fingers to poke moxxies eyes

Moxxie: AHH!

The group keeps running and dragging raydens stretcher until they head into an open room and quickly lock the door

Loona: rayden you better be worth all this shit

They walk around the room and notice compared to the previous one this one was much tidier

Around them were blueprints, drawings and various tools and the faint sound of music in the background

They follow the music to a secluded part of the room where they see a man playing Just Dance 2018

He was dressed in a bloody lab coat and what they could see of his skin looked slightly mangled

What was most notable were his arms that were long, skeletal and robotic

???: yeyesyesyesyesyes YES! High score!! Daddy got the high score sweetie!

Moxxie: um excuse me sir?

???: hmHMMM!?!!? *turns around revealing he's nude*

Everyone: AH!!

Clara: MY EYES!!

Millie: ugh it's like looking at a burnt sausage!

Loona: *shielding her eyes* dammit man put some pants on!!

???: I was told this was a nudist beach!!

Loona: we're not even at a beach!!

???: *looks around* oh yeah....heeheeheehee

Toymaker walks to a rag pile and throws on some pants

The front side of him wasn't too appealing either (even clothed)

There were cuts and bits of metal on his abdomen and chest his mouth had sharp teeth and he had a pair of goggles fused to his eyes

???: let's seeeeee, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! Six little chickens! Six! Wonderful number! Divisible! Dividable!...disSECtible hehHA!

The...scientist?...walked over to the group putting them on edge

???: oh how rude I am the toymaker! But you may call me thaddeus!

Carmilla: very well...um thaddeus-

Toymaker: hey! N-n-never!! Call me thaddeus it's a stupid name!! Detestable! Bleh!! I am toymaker!!.....yes you can still call me daddy honey..

Everyone just looked confused

Moxxie: uhhhh ok mr. Toymaker we need your help to save our friends-

Toymaker: AHHHH!! AHHH! I HAVE NO GUEST TEA!

Toymaker runs off before bringing back a table with cracked teacups and teapot

Toymaker: well?

Carmilla: we'll stand thank you

Everyone nods in agreement

Toymaker pours cups and starts adding sugar cubes to his cup

Carmilla: ok now...toymaker...we need you to save a sinners life-

Toymaker: *still putting sugar cubes in his tea* why? Shouldn't filthy sinners die in hell? We're like Arizona except no golf courses

Carmilla: *clenches her fist*

Clara and odette try and calm their mother down

Moxxie: look mr. Toymaker I respect the fact that you're *one of toymakers eyes unconsciously rolls back behind his head* in...sane. But we really need your help in saving our friends life. Because he trusted you to do this and no one else and based on your *cough* amazing work we know you can do this! So what do you say!?

Toymaker:........do you think the Swiss Army knife tastes of Swiss cheese?

Carmilla throws the table away and grabs toymaker by the coat

Carmilla: either start doing your job and save rayden or I'll turn all those cuts on into one incision in your gut!!

Toymaker: oh you know ray ray?

Clara/Odette: ray ray?

Toymaker: my daughter calls him that he loves it

Millie: he does?

Toymaker: how is the violent monkey?

Carmilla turns his body to face raydens unconscious one

Toymaker: MY VAN GOGH!

Toymaker shakes out of carmillas grip and rushes to the body

Toymaker: who did this!? Who damaged my artistic claim to fame!? Cause i'll smack that motherfucker like a croissant soaked in jizz!

Moxxie: that is...oddly specific

Toymaker: aw thank you! I like you imp with the good kidneys!

Moxxie: you can see my kidneys?

Toymaker: oh I see everything and those kidneys *smacks lips* mm those are some fine filter boxes

Moxxie backs behind millie

Toymakers goggles turn red and extend as telescopes as he examines the body

Toymaker: well I'm glad my work held up at the least

He pulls out a q-tip and pokes in a wound taking out a dab of sizzling blood

He then eats it making everyone sickly

Toymaker: mm still spicy!....but lacking

He then checks down low

Millie: uh is that necessary?

Toymaker: oh? He finally used this I see!!

Loona: putting aside the fact you seem to be a nudist cannibal pervert can you help him?

Toymaker: do bees make honey from blood?

Odette: is that...a yes?

Toymaker: well there's a flea sized wrinkle...I can repair the physical damage just fine lickity split BUT BUT tssss he's lacking enough of his sweet sweet hot sauce

Clara: is it so hard for you to speak English?

Toymaker: I can speak Korean and greek

Odette: so he's lost too much blood?

Toymaker: she gets it!

Millie: oh so that's an easy fix what blood type is he?

Toymaker: BZZZZ F MINUS FARM GIRL FAILS!!

Millie: farm girl?!

Toymaker: can't be easy NOTHING IS EASY idiots are EASY this is blackveil and his blood IS NOT EASY T-T-T-T

Carmilla: then how does he get more blood?

Toymaker: he needs a fresh blood donor almost identical to his sweet spicy stream AND only one hellish bastard fits the puzzle piece

Toymaker runs over to a computer and types in a few things as a map location comes on screen

The location is in wrath in a forest of dead trees

Toymaker: terminus blackveil the obsidian berserker

Loona: raydens got family in hell?

Millie: you three know anything about this?

Clara: no he's never mentioned relatives

Odette: anytime we asked he shot a random pedophile to remind us not to ask questions

Carmilla was silent she's only heard of one relative in raydens life

His mother

And from how he spoked in his sleep what memories he had weren't many or happy

She wasn't sure how his relationship was with his uncle

For his sake she hoped it was good

Carmilla: we'll go find him then

Loona: uh you sure? this guy is an earlier rayden...and present raydens resistance to casually murder us is pure luck

Carmilla: I can handle it

Clara: so can we

Odette: *nods*

Moxxie: right so we go to wrath find this terminus-

Toymaker: actually I'd like the imps and puppy to stay

Loona: call me that again and I'll rip out your spine

Toymaker: oooo I like it go for it

Loona: ugh

Moxxie: why do we need to stay?

Toymaker: I was watching greys anatomy and I have a high from it...plus my daughter likes company

Odette: fine you four patch up rayden and we'll find the berserker

Loona: fucking wonderful

Toymaker rises next to moxxie

Toymaker: me and your kidneys are gonna be great friends!

Moxxie: do you have a license?

Toymaker: nope!

Moxxie: did you take the Hippocratic oath?

Toymaker: nope!

Moxxie: do you have any antistatic?

Toymaker: what's that?

Moxxie: can we even trust you to save his life?

Toymaker: no you really shouldn't!

Moxxie: *scared* please find him quickly...

 

A few hours later carmilla and her girls were walking through a forest of dead trees

Odette: I'm curious if this guy's been down here longer than rayden why wouldn't rayden ever bring him up?

Carmilla: hard to tell he never share his past willingly

Clara: what if he was abusive?! Uncles in assassins pasts are always abusive!

Odette: if rayden were abused he would've bragged about killing the abusers

Carmilla: true

They keep walking for a bit before carmilla freezes halting her girls

Clara: what's wrong?

Carmilla tosses a stick into the area ahead of them triggering what was 16 bear traps

Clara:.......well they're defiantly blood related

A few minutes and more bear traps later the two finally come across a wood cabin with skulls decorating the outside

Next to it is a makeshift wall with a message written on it in blood

 

"Life is the enemy

Death is my currency

Your corpses are my throne

Make me a lord of righteous hate"

 

Odette: delightful...

Carmilla approaches the door and gently

Carmilla: mr. Blackveil? My name is carmilla carmine we need to talk!

There was no response

Carmilla prepares to knock again

Terminus: you know if someone doesn't answer that usually implies they don't wish to talk

The girls turn around to see terminus holding some logs in a pack

His skin was muscular and pale with long black hair and red eyes

His upper chest and arms were covered in high tech black armour

His most notable feature was his lower jaw.

The entirety of which was made of angelic steel

Terminus: if your fangirls I'll tell you now. I hate men, women and...well just everyone in general. So not politely fuck...*right arm armour glows and an axe materializes in hand* off

Terminus pushes past the girls and into his home

Clara: but-

Terminus: don't give a fuck. Fuck off

Odette thoughts: wow they really are family

Carmilla: terminus we're here on account of your nephew rayden

Terminus stopped and turned his head

Terminus: you know rayden?

Odette: he's dying and we need your help

Terminus was silent and looked down before sighing

Terminus: you better come inside

 

Back at the warehouse toymaker had placed rayden on an operating table while IMP observed from a distance

Toymaker: right time for the ol snip and slither heheheh

Toymakers fingers begin extending into various surgical tools as he makes an incision on rayden

Toymaker: it truly is amazing isn't it?

Moxxie: sorry?

Toymaker: raydens body...truly an artistic vision of survival

Toymaker opens raydens and uses one finger to inject a strange red substance that spreads throughout the body making a thick steam emit

Toymaker: *inhales steam* ahh that's the stuff.

The trio gets a good look at the interior of raydens body and their eyes widen

Everything wasn't where it should be in a sinners body

organs were fused out of place in different parts of the body

Bones were sawed off and replaced with metal replicas

The most bewildering aspect was the most obvious

Rayden had another heart in his chest pumping

Millie: he has two hearts...

Toymaker: do you like it? He really is my best work

Loona: you did all this to him? Fuck

Toymaker: all by his request. Ha heh I made a jigsaw out of his anatomy. Every day he'd come to me asking me to cut him open and do whatever I pleased to give him that extra edge...heh not that he ever needed it but...here we are

He pulls up a jar that contains another sinners heart

Moxxie: why aren't your arms burning with all that blood?

Toymaker: I've cutting into this turkey for years...every time was an unprecedented opportunity to learn and adapt. Figure out his edge

His arm reaches in and places it next to the pumping one as his other arm stitches and fuses it to the nervous system

Toymaker: can you imagine it? That drive, that instinct of refusal to die...that desire to take the pain and only pain just to release it tenfold onto others...isn't it beautiful?

The others were starting to sweat as toymaker closed the chest and fused hit shut with various stitches and chemicals store in his arm

The fingers extend to all the wounds and begin repairing them with ease until they are almost invisible

Toymaker: *grin forms* it's what we all strive for isn't it? Emotionlessness, the will to survive by whatever means, to accomplish our greatest of sinful desires? We strive for the monstrous...it's what make sinners such wonderful toys for me to play with...

IMP are now huddling together in a corner

Moxxie: you...are a sick sick man

Toymaker: haha I know right!?

Loona: did we really just entrust rayden to a psychopath?

 

Back in the cabin terminus was sitting in a chair while Clara and odette stood in front of him and finished explaining the situation while carmilla was looking at some photos

Odette: -and without your blood he could die. Permanently

Terminus was quiet for a moment before he finally spoke

Terminus: no

Carmines:...what?

Terminus: I said no

Clara: but...he'll die...

Terminus: I know.

Carmilla: so...so that's it?! You'll let your family die just like that?!

Terminus: *huffs* yes

Carmilla:....you monster

Terminus raises an eyebrow

Carmilla: your nephew is the best of you!! He's done more than you'll ever hope to! And you're letting him die just- just because you can't muster up a twinge of emotion!!!

Terminus:...is there a point to this ramble?

Carmilla: ...at last...It's all so clear why his mother wanted nothing to do with your family

Terminus armour and eyes glow red as he shoots off the chair and marches towards carmilla leaving holes in the floor

Terminus: YOU DON'T KNOW A GOD DAMN THING ABOUT MY SISTER!!!

The girls were frightened but carmilla was standing her ground

Terminus: YOU THINK I WANT THIS?!! YOU THINK I DON'T WANT TO SAVE THE ONLY REMNANT OF HER I HAVE LEFT IN THIS EXISTENCE!!?

Terminus armour cools down

Terminus: I tried...for so long to get him to see the good in life...to live how his mother would've wanted...but I failed. Every day he hated living...he went out into the world hoping death would take him...and told me to let it...

Odette: he...he wanted to die?

Terminus slumps back into his chair with teary eyes

Terminus:.....his mom. Lila...she was the kindest of us. Better than I ever deserved in a sister, no matter how many lives we took she still called me and our parents family. Even though she didn't follow our our path I was happy to see her go off to make something of herself at university a life away from our work...but then she came home to me one day.

 

FLASHBACK

YEARS AGO

Terminus is sitting in his chair making wooden arrows when he hears a knock at his door

He slowly approaches the door with caution and opens it revealing Lila standing on the other side

Terminus: Lila? What are you doing back here? I thought you were taking your break with Sam in the tropics?

Lila just stands with tears in her eyes

Terminus: woah woah what's wrong?

Lila: *crying* can I come inside?

Terminus: yeah, sure of course

Inside lila is sitting on the couch with tea in her hands

Terminus: so what's the matter? Did you flunk an essay? Fight with Sam?

The room is quiet for a few seconds

Lila:...............I'm pregnant

Terminus goes quiet

Lila: and sam...he's gone. He just left a few days before I found out and I haven't been able to find him anywhere...*she stifles some tears before letting it all out*....what am I gonna do?!

Lila cries into her brothers chest as he rubs her head

Terminus: shhh it's ok, you'll be ok

Lila: would he really do that? Just pick up and leave without a word?

Terminus doesn't answer the question

Terminus: are you going to keep the baby?

Lila nods

Lila: I don't care how it happened it's still my baby and I'm still gonna be his mom...he can't help how he was made...

Terminus: *sighs* fine. You can stay here until we figure something out for you both

Lila: *sniffle* thanks termi

Terminus: hm....also "he"?

Lila: it's a boy...I know it

Terminus: I'm not helping you with names just so you know

Lila giggles her mood slightly improved

Over the following months terminus did his best to make sure Lila and her unborn son were comfortable.

Along with scouring the earth for sam so he could gut him like a fish

Sam was all kinds of sketchy to terminus

Lila met him while she was studying at university

A very reserved fellow and not the kind of guy you'd get along with. Yet Lila got him to open up and as one would expect romance ensued

But then out of the blue he vanishes not long after impregnating terminus' sister

Thats more than enough to earn a blackveils wrath

When terminus was returning to the cabin with groceries that he "borrowed" from someone he heard the sounds of crying from inside

He rushed inside to see an exhausted Lila cradling a newborn baby boy in her arms

Lila: look at that rayden...thats your uncle

Terminus slowly walks over and kneels down to see the baby

Terminus: wow...Lila I'm sorry I wasn't-

Lila: it's fine you're here now...just look at him

The baby looks at terminus while chewing his fist

Terminus: rayden huh?

Lila: I like it it's a cool name. for my little fighter!

Baby rayden: bah!

Lila: see he likes it!

Terminus sighs as he looks at his nephew and in a rare moment he had a happy family

But then came that fateful Christmas Day

Terminus was returning from the lake with a Christmas halibut

Only when he entered the cabin it was strangely quiet

Terminus: Lila? Rayden? Where are you?

They'd gone out for a walk because Lila thought her baby needed fresh air

But they should've been back by now

Then he heard it

*BANG*

Terminus heart dropped as he gripped his axe and ran through the woods

He kept running until he saw 4 people in the distance holding guns

He yells as he charges and swings his axe beheading one before driving it down another

One of the figures fires his gun at terminus

The bullet goes right through his lower jaw making him grunt in pain before tackling the shooter and impaling him on a low tree branch

The final shooter was shaking in fear pointing the gun at him

He doesn't get a chance to shoot before terminus leaps onto him biting his neck and tearing it off violently

Terminus huffs covered in blood as he looks up to see a badly shot Lila leaning against a tree with a crying baby rayden in her arms

Terminus: shit...*rushes over to her and tries to stop the bleeding* just stay still...

Lila: *weakly* termi...

Terminus: don't talk just hold on I can-

Lila: *weakly* I need you to promise me something

Terminus: *teary eyed* Lila please-

Lila uses what little strength to lift her baby into terminus' arms even as the baby reaches for it's mother in vain

Lila: *weakly* you remind him...every day...that his mommy loves him no matter what...

And with those last words she was gone

Tears were pouring from Terminus' eyes as he cried to the heavens in mourning with the grieving baby rayden in his arms

They stayed there for hours as snow fell from the sky

FLASHBACK END

 

 

Terminus: he was never the same after...

The carmines just sit trying to make sense of what they just learned

Terminus: he didn't smile, cry or laugh...it was like he ceased being human at that exact moment all he was then was pain. He left at 17 to become an assassin and spread that pain across the world.

Carmilla: but still why not help him?

Terminus:...he hated me for not leaving him with his mom. He wanted to die with her and follow her to heaven but in his eyes I robbed him of that. He even blames himself in some regards

Clara: so finally letting him die-

Odette: is you granting his last wish...

Terminus nods

Carmilla looked heartbroken

Carmilla: is that why he did it?...is that why he got in the way of the blades...just to kill himself?

Terminus' head shoots up in carmillas direction

Terminus: sorry run that by me again?

Carmilla: rayden saved me from the blades this angel launched at me...it's the reason he's on the cusp of death...

Terminus:.....I'll help

Carmines: what?

Terminus: no time for simple confusion lets go soldiers!

Terminus marches out the door

Clara: well...that was a complete 180

Terminus: (offscreen) TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE FLATBOARDS

Odette:....I think I understand raydens hatred now

Clara: agreed

 

The group arrive back at the warehouse where toymaker straps terminus to a blood transfer device

Loona: so...that's his uncle?

Clara: unfortunately

Loona: damn what a build

Clara: don't be weird

Loona: what!? Have you seen those abs?!

Moxxie: I have to agree he's impressively toned

Millie: ditto

Odette: ugh

Toymaker hooks up the blood to raydens body and starts feeding it in

Toymaker: so there is good news and cancer level bad news

Millie: ok uh can we hear the good news first?

Toymaker: ok the good news...is I found a two for one pizza coupon in this dead guys mouth!

Moxxie: and the...bad news?

Toymaker: ray ray wakes up he's gonna be high on rage and go feral so I suggest we put him down

Carmilla: but you just saved his life!!

Toymaker:.....oh right I did. HA! But be prepared to tussle!

 

 

Rayden is laying In a thick green forest

A figure stands over him and kicks him with her shoe a bit

???: come on blackveil you're not dead

Rayden: ugh

Rayden sits up and sees both his arms are flesh

Rayden: what is this?

???: what don't like having your arm back? Bit ungrateful

Rayden: no what is THIS. This isn't some kind of double death, this forest is too green to be in hell and I'm definitely not getting to heaven anytime soon so this is in my head and I don't imagine lush green plants...so what is this?

???: heh that's what I like about you rayden you're just so tactical...you notice every possible threat to yourself...but you nearly got yourself offed tsk tsk can't have that no sir

The forest starts to blur and shake as rayden gets to his feet

???: I've got big plans for you rayden...you and I? We're gonna tear this world apart

Rayden feels a pounding in his head making him fall to his knees

???: oh when you see your boss again? tell him I said hi

The forest breaks apart and rayden falls into a void

 

 

Raydens vision comes back as he sees a bright light

Toymaker: yoo hoo...c'mon rayden up n' at em'!

Rayden punches toymaker into a wall and breaks off the table and slashes around with his lone arm like an animal

Moxxie: rayden calm down! You're ok! You-

Rayden breathes a stream of fire making everyone back up

Moxxie: alright you're not ok!

Rayden continues breathing fire all around at anyone trying to get near him

Terminus: hey!!

Rayden stops and turns to terminus

Terminus: yeah you're pissed aren't you wanna hit someone yeah?

Rayden looks at him with a primal rage

Terminus: so hit me

Rayden rushes at him with fury but terminus stays still

When rayden gets close enough terminus arm veins glow before he rapidly hits rayden square in the face dazing him enough for terminus to use his axe to put him into a hold

Terminus: don't forget who taught you nephew

Terminus struggles to maintain the hold as rayden tries to break out of the hold

He manages to shake something out of his pants and kicks it towards toymaker

Terminus: play it!!

Toymaker picks up a cassette player and puts it into a radio device

A melody starts playing

Rayden hears the melody and starts to cry

Rayden: get off me!

Terminus: no chance

Rayden: get off!!

Terminus: no! I failed your mom...I wasn't there when she needed me. I am NOT making that mistake with you!!

Rayden keeps trying to struggle but there's not as much as before

Terminus: I know you still hate yourself for what happened that day I know you do. It wasn't your fault!! So please stop punishing yourself!!!!

Rayden falls to ground held by his uncle

Rayden: (weeping) ....why....why her dammit?!! Why'd they have to kill my mom?!

Terminus: shshshshh

Rayden: (weeping) I miss her uncle...I want her back

Terminus: (crying)...I know...I know...so do I

Everyone else but toymaker makes their way towards the pair seeing rayden feel emotion for the first time in too long

Clara and Odette move closer kneel down and wrap their arms around rayden which he reciprocates while still crying

Terminus finally releases his hold and stands up and walks away

Moxxie and millie along with loona join the group comforting their colleague...

No, their friend

Carmilla notices terminus leaving follows him

When they're both outside she finally calls out to him

Carmilla: what changed your mind?

Terminus: hm?

Carmilla: you were headset on letting him die as an act of family...what changed?

Terminus:....you said he dove infant of a fatal blow for you...he was willing to die to try and save you

Carmilla: yes?

Terminus: the only person he'd ever risk his life for like that without thinking was only his mom...least that's what I thought until now. I don't care who you are but whatever you've got going on with him? It's healing him......thank you for that.

He walks away into the distance

 

 

Rayden was getting his outfit on

Toymaker: you just keep surprising me my friend

Rayden: yeah...I'm surprising myself these days. Somethings going on that I can't quite figure out...but I will

Toymaker: sorry I meant you let people hug you!

Rayden: what

Toymaker: the carmines, the imps and the puppy! They hugged you!

Rayden: that was real!? I thought it was a hallucination!

Toymaker: oh it was realer than my doctorate!

Rayden: you don't have a doctorate!

Toymaker: my daughter says it is!

Rayden: fuuuuck...I'm not gonna hear the end of this...

Toymaker: heheheheheheh I even took a photo!

Rayden: burn it!

Toymaker: noooo

Rayden: Thaddeus I will gut you!

Toymaker: hey I saved your life!

Rayden: I don't care!

Toymaker: what'll your wifey say!?

Rayden:....sorry?

Toymaker: the tall lady! She's your wife isn't she?

Rayden just walks away

Toymaker: why wasn't I invited to your wedding?!

Rayden: (offscreen) fuck you Thaddeus!!

 

Chapter 29: Short: A Recovery Revelation

 

 

An annoyance for rayden was always temporary. He’d be silently rageful maybe throttle someone then move on.

 

But ever since he’d been brought out of near death he’d been on forced recovery at the hotel for a few weeks while he awaited his new arm and the new heart to adapt to his body.

 

And suddenly the annoyances became constant and rayden experienced eternal boredom meaning he had no will to fight

 

 

 

And a helpless rayden was something Charlie took full advantage of

 

Since he didn’t put up a fight rayden actually attended redemption activities without complaining or insulting anyone

 

This is what got mastema, jack and nifftys attention

 

 

Rayden was sat in his room watching SNL re-runs while the three watched from the door

 

Jack: this is just sad. He sits there all day 

 

Mastema: he drinks his special alcohol through an IV line

 

Niffty: *crying* he doesn’t acknowledge my presence on his shoulder anymore!!

 

Mastema/Jack: what?

 

Niffty: I’m his shoulder buddy! I sit on his shoulder and spectate every horrific thing he does! Then he lets me mangle the ones who still cling to life!!….now I just drag unsuspecting victims into a basement to whip and gut them out of loneliness

 

Mastema:….ok we gotta cure rayden for all our safety

 

Jack nods

 

They both enter the room and approach rayden

 

Mastema: heyyy reyden we feeling ok? Do you need something? Drink? Stress toy?

 

Rayden said nothing

 

Mastema: rayden? *pokes arm*

 

“Rayden” crumbles to salt revealing a robot skeleton leaving both mastema and jack stunned

 

Jack: well this explains a lot 

 

Mastema shrugs

 

Jack: do we go look for him?

 

Mastema: nah I’m sure he’ll be fine

 

Jack: *sigh* I’m gonna take a shower

 

 

Much later the sound of running water is heard being turned off

 

Jack is seen poking his head out of the shower eyes shut to avoid water getting into his eyes

 

He uses his hand to search for a towl to dry himself

 

Jack: *eyes shut* hm now where’s my towl?

 

Toymaker: here you go *hands towl*

 

Jack: *eyes shut* ah thank you

 

Jack drys his eyes but then his eyes widen

 

He pokes his head out to see toymaker

 

Toymaker: *waving* hello!…..impressive sausage and potatoes!

 

 

 

Downstairs 

 

Charlie and vaggie were watching tv in the lobby

 

Jack: (offscreen) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

 

Jack comes downstairs running in a bathrobe

 

Jack: a stranger was watching me shower!!

 

Toymaker follows down the stairs

 

Toymaker: owe I’d be a rich man if I had a million dollars for every time I heard that!

 

Vaggie: *points spear* who the hell are you!?

 

Toymaker: a Sagittarius!

 

Vaggie: I mean your name!

 

Toymaker: can I be called willy?

 

Vaggie pushes the spear close to his neck

 

Vaggie: I swear I will impale your goddamn throat!!

 

Toymaker: sorry I already told my daughter she can’t get piercings what example would I be setting as a single parent?

 

Charlie: awww! Vaggie he’s a single parent!

 

Jack: he’s a creepy perv!

 

Toymaker: *blep*

 

Vaggie: ugh why’re you here then?

 

Toymaker: oh just to confirm raydens purchase of my depression droid! “Slip out of unwanted attention with ease 100% guarantee”!

 

Charlie: slip out?….rayden left!?

 

Jack: Charlie he’s just gone for a walk to clear his head

 

Charlie: I-…..ok. 

 

Vaggie: so rayden could be back to normal?

 

Jack: hopefully!

 

Vaggie: fuck!

 

Jack and Charlie give her a “really?” Look

 

Vaggie: sorry if I’ve enjoyed a hotel with one less problem in it!

 

Toymaker: can I stay until he comes back? I need a blood signature to confirm payment

 

Charlie: oh of course!…by the way do you by chance believe in redemption? You seem like a smart scientist guy!

 

Toymaker stares at Charlie for a few minutes blinking

 

Toymaker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *inhales* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Toymaker falls over still laughing as Charlie frowns at him

 

Toymaker: ah what comedic bullshit! Ahhhh so where is my robot anyway?

 

Jack points to the side

 

Niffty is seen biting the robots head off

 

Niffty: die impostor!!

 

 

 

 

Rayden is walking through the streets of imp city 

 

he comes to a house completely isolated in the city

 

He pulls a rope which rings a bell

 

The front door opens to reveal na’mall who just gives rayden a knowing look

 

Na’mall: another crisis? 

 

Rayden nods

 

Na’mall: come in. Please keep your voice down

 

Rayden and na’mall are sitting at a table with tea

 

Na’mall: so whats the issue?

 

Rayden: something just feels off with me ever since a few weeks ago when  I just feel…less of myself. And I’ve come close to death before so I don’t know what the hells wrong with me

 

Rayden leans close to na’mall

 

Rayden: am I going soft?

 

Na’mall: I wouldn’t let you in if you were

 

Rayden: have I contracted a new brain disease?

 

Na’mall: you’ve already got them all

 

Rayden: is all the guilt finally catching up to me?

 

There’s a moment of silence

 

Na’mall/Rayden: nah 

 

Rayden: THEN WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

 

Na’mall: please lower your-!

 

???: (offscreen) WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

 

Na’mall: *groan* she’s not even a cat yet she hears fucking everything…

 

Na’mall gets up and walks towards a closed off room rayden follows him

 

Na’mall enters the room

 

What rayden sees nearly stops his hearts

 

Na’mall was cradling a baby goetia hatchling in a blanket that was snuggling into his chest

 

Rayden: explain

 

Na’mall: this is Yuki. She’s my homestay for a bit

 

Rayden: did you adopt or?

 

Na’mall: you could say that

 

Rayden: but you hate goetia you hunt teenage ones for sport

 

Na’mall: this is true

 

Rayden: then why keep her?

 

Na’mall:….that’s the question isn’t it? I don’t know even know myself. I don’t know if it was a compulsion or something but in my mind I just wanted to take her.

 

Suddenly something clicks in raydens head and he sighs with realization

 

He turns to leave

 

Rayden: thanks for listening osore

 

Na’mall nods

 

 

Rayden walks back to the hotel

 

He suddenly knew why he’d been in such a sorry state such being woken up

 

It wasn’t boredom

 

Or depression he’d nearly died

 

He was still his same old bloodthirsty bastard self and would continue to do that with all his effort

 

But he still had that tear in his soul

 

But everyone seemed to have something to mend it in some way

 

Not him

 

That was great realization

 

At deaths door a second time rayden finally saw a long standing truth to his life

 

He was lonely

 

 

 

Rayden enters the hotel

 

Charlie: rayden! Oh your back! I wasn’t sure if you’d ever-

 

Rayden: Charlie?

 

Charlie: yes?

 

Rayden: the next time you drag me into another activity while I’m mentally unavailable I’m gonna let niffty loose in your room with a buzzsaw 

 

Charlie: ah heh noted!

 

Vaggie: and he’s back

 

Toymaker: hiya ray ray!!

 

Niffty knocks toymaker to the side with a pipe before leaping onto raydens remaining arm

 

Niffty: *hugging arm* shoulder buddy!!

 

Rayden: hello Chihuahua…where’s mastema?

 

Charlie: he said he had some heaven business to deal with but he said he’ll back in an hour

 

Toymaker emerges from a hole in the wall

 

Toymaker: sooo refer rayden did you enjoy my salty robot?

 

Rayden: hm. Since you’re here I’d like to request something special be made. I need a new weapon…something that’ll give me an edge in case one of those angels shows up

 

Toymaker: oh? Well keep talking

 

 

 

 

In heaven zarathos was sitting at his desk going through armour plans as he hears the doors slam open

 

Zarathos: ugh who- *looks up* oh hello mastema

 

Mastema marches up and slams corsintheus’ angelic crossbow onto the desk

 

Mastema: I believe the agreement was don’t touch people in my employment so why was one of your guards down there butchering him

 

Zarathos: I have no idea what you mean if he was down there it was unauthorized. 

 

Mastema: don’t think you can play the ignorance card and I’ll back off like everyone else brother. I know you had something to do with this…

 

Zarathos: mmhm you’re awfully concerned for a mercenary aren’t youthful you brother? You’re already under suspicion do you really wanna add fuel to that?

 

Mastema:…you don’t know how much I’ll sacrifice for my friends brother. They’re my business…stay the hell out of it

 

Mastema walks off and exits the tower

 

Zarathos: *huffs smoke* and you don’t know what I’m willing to do to put that cambion in the ground

 

Zarathos walks into a dark room where someone is bound in chains

 

She looks afraid as zarathos grabs a flaming chain

 

Zarathos: be grateful you won’t remember this…lieutenant

 

 

 

Chapter 30: HELLUVA SHORTS - MISSION: ANTARCTICA

the scene opens on a portal opening up in Antarctica, with Blitzo, Moxxie rayden (with a brand new arm) and Millie falling out

Blitzo: Ah, that was a big jump.

Millie: *whimpers*

Blitzo: Christ on a stick, I'm freezing my little red cock off!

Rayden however looked unbothered by the temperature

Blitzo: how are you not bitching about this?!

Rayden: I like the cold...it's the only thing that my body hasn't gone numb to

Blitzo: disturbing. Now where is that thing supposed to be?

Millie: The client said it was near the research station.

Moxxie: Th-th-th-that research station?

Cut to an exterior shot of McMurdo station, its door is seen being blown open and closed in the wind. Blitzo exhales and starts shivering.

Moxxie: Oh crumbs, that can't be good.

Rayden: no one leaves door open in this weather

Blitzo: Oh sh- yikes, yi-

The station is full of dead bodies of people killed in a gruesome fashion.

Moxxie: What happened here?

Millie: These guys were torn to shreds. I've seen Wrath b-b-b-beasts less brutal than this.

Rayden: what kind of animal even does this to people on earth? The resident species should all be very reserved

Moxxie: so what and/or who could've done this?

A roar is heard outside the station, and Blitzo turns to see the silhouette of what the group believed to be responsible for the killings

Blitzo: Uh, that, probably. Okay, Moxxie, you and rayden get up top, Millie, cover the entrances, I got it here.

Moxxie: Yes, sir.

He and rayden gets in position

Moxxie scopes in and sees a giant leopard seal running towards them.

Rayden: that's a surprisingly fast land bound seal

Blitzo: Y-you got him, Mox?

Moxxie: Yes sir.

Blitzo: Sweet, let's turn him into some SWISS cheese!

Rayden: sorry I find it hard to believe a seal did this-

Blitzo: less talky talk more Killy kill!!

Blitzo starts firing at the monster, but fails to hurt it significantly. Moxxie misses the first shot, but takes a deep breath and fires again, blowing the monster's head clean off.

Blitzo: Guess he met his match, heh-heh. Eat shit in Hell, polar slut! Good job, Mox, now let's get out of this frozen fuckhole.

Rayden jumps down from the roof and leans down to inspect the body

He pulls his face mask down to lick the body

Rayden: odd...

Millie: what's up rayden?

Rayden: well first thing is this is a female seal

Blitzo: you can taste gender?

Rayden: secondly this thing tastes of high adrenaline suggesting fear then there's these marks on it that have a teeth outline

Blitzo: Sh-sh-sh-shit!

Moxxie: Uh, what? What's the problem?

Blitzo: This slut wasn't running toward us!

Millie: she was running away... from something else...

Moxxie: Look!

Cut to a penguin on top of a glacier, with blood below its beak, angrily staring at the imps.

Rayden: huh well fuck national geographic they apparently don't know shit about penguins

Blitzo: Drop him!

Moxxie fires his sniper rifle and kills the penguin.

Blitzo: Shit.

A whole huddle of penguins show up.

Blitzo: Fuck, that's like ten.

Rayden: blitz we've talked about getting specs

Millie: Well, maybe those ones are nice.

Penguin: (subtitled) Who are they?

Penguins: (subtitled) Who are they? Who are they?

Penguin: (subtitled) Who are they?

Penguin: (subtitled) *slurs*

Rayden: well that was uncalled for

Blitzo: RUUUN!

The penguins start following them by a colony consisting of hundreds. They show a mouth full of sharp teeth.

Rayden however was running at them

Blitzo: rayden what the hell are you doing?!

Moxxie: RUN!

Rayden: no way! This is my chance to be the Hannibal among the boars!!

The penguins descend only to split apart and go around rayden

Rayden: I'm not sure why but I feel rejected

Millie: Mox! Come on!

The imps enter the research station and Blitzo barricades it with furniture. The huddle of penguins try to break inside, while saying slurs.

Moxxie: Sir, uh, could you get us out of here?

Blitzo is on the ground, rubbing the crystal, trying to make it work, while Moxxie is shooting at the penguins and Millie is holding the barricades.

Rayden casually walks towards the window ignored by the animals and climbs through the window

Unbeknownst to him a penguin latches onto his leg as he goes in

Blitzo: (barely audibly) Fucking wrist crystal!

Millie: What's the hold up, Blitzo?

Blitzo: I can't just make it go, okay, I'm still getting used to this fucking thing!

Blitzo throws himself around, doing various things to the crystal, attempting to activate it.

Blitzo: Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!

Blitzo grips the crystal with his teeth and falls down to the ground.

Millie: It's from Lust! You can't just brute-force it. You gotta treat it right. Caress it.

Blitzo: I don't know, I... I've never been good at this shit.

Rayden: try breathing on it. Apparently people like that

Blitz rapidly breathes on it to no avail

Blitzo: any other ideas?!

Rayden: none we have time for or are below an X rating

Millie: Use your tongue!

Blitzo starts licking the crystal out of obligation. Mille and Moxxie are staring at him with slightly disgusted facial expressions.

Moxxie: How do you not know how to do this?

Blitzo: Moxxie! I'm a fucking top!

Rayden: up for debate

Moxxie: T-Try spelling the alphabet! (blushes)

Blitzo: A... bleh, C- B!

Millie: With your tongue!

Blitzo: I knew that.

Blitzo starts licking the crystal while reciting the alphabet.

Moxxie: Oh for Satan's sake!

Moxxie shoves Blitzo's hand into his mouth and voluptuously tongues the crystal. Blitzo starts blushing.

Blitzo: Oh, damn.

Millie: I taught him that.

Rayden takes out his phone and snaps a picture

The portal suddenly opens, and Moxxie wipes his mouth.

Moxxie: Can we go, please?

Blitzo looks at his hand covered with saliva, then looks at Moxxie before going through the portal. Moxxie looked embarassed, covering his hands over his face

Rayden follows side eyeing moxxie

Lastly, Millie jumps through the portal as the penguins breaks the barricade. Now back in Hell with Blitzo and Moxxie, Millie sees a gas canister which has ruptured and pulls out a matchbox.

Millie: Eat this, bitches! Hah!

Millie throws the lit matchbox through the portal and causes an explosion. She starts sadistically laughing, as the rookery scream in pain, and the research station blows up. Only a crater is left, and a lone penguin walks up to where the station once was.

Penguin: (subtitled) *SLURS*!!!!!

 

 

Back in the office

Blitzo: never going there again

Moxxie: agreeeEEEAHH! One got through!!

Rayden: where?

The imps point to raydens foot where a penguin was hugging it

Rayden: huh look at that.

Blitzo: Don't worry rayden I'll shoot that bitch right off

Rayden: no thank you your aim is shit I'm not sacrificing my muscle cells to you of all people. I'll handle it myself

The penguin shimmies up rayden and climbs onto raydens shoulder where it slumps into comfort

Rayden: excuse me a moment

Rayden goes outside plops the penguin on the ground

Rayden: bird. You've highjacked your way into hell impressive but you also tried to kill us which would require me to retaliate...but it'd be wasteful to do so. as such in exchange for your service at my disposal I shall in kind protect you from hell. Do you agree to these terms?

The penguin is still for a moment before waddling over to rayden and hugging his leg again

Rayden: ...I like you

Rayden returns to the hazbin hotel with the penguin on his shoulder

Vaggie: uh is that a penguin?

Mastema: yeah why do you have a penguin?

Rayden: you promised me a pet...I'm cashing in on that promise

Charlie: aww he's so cute!!

Rayden: this is Pedro. As of today Pedro lives with me as a lookout, scout and companion

Charlie: aw hello Pedro! *reaches hand out to pet*

Rayden: I wouldn't

Charlie: c'mon it's a penguin what's harmful about-

*CLICK*

Pedro is pointing a gun at Charlie

Charlie: *hands up* woah

Niffty scuttles onto raydens other shoulder and narrows her eye at Pedro

Niffty thoughts: SHOULDER RIVAL

Rayden walks up the lobby stairs with his occupied shoulders

Jack: uhh is this good or bad?

Mastema: I honestly don't know

 

Chapter 31: HELLUVA SHORTS - MISSION: WEEABOO-BOO

The short begins with Blitzo and rayden on Earth, hiding in some bushes as blitz is talking to Millie on his phone.

Blitzo: Aw thanks Mills, but- I don't think we need backup to take down some suburban college girl. You enjoy that bullshit musical and stop trying to use me as an excuse to get out of it-

Rayden: Les Misérables is not torture I'll have you know...well to Nikolai it was he kept yelling at the actors.

Blitzo: man knew what he was doing. Look mils If I had to sit through that miserable French hog shit, well so do you, okay? Bye, Mills!

Blitzo hangs up and sneaks over to the house; he peeks through the living room window, seeing the target's parents watching TV and chuckles. Blitzo then climbs up a tree and sees the target in her bedroom with her headphones on, watching a vampire BL anime on her computer.

Blitzo: Oh ho, ho. Bingo. B-Y-N-G-O. [chuckles]

Rayden: that's not how you- nevermind

the duo traverses the branch and open the window and climbs into the target's room,

Blitzo: stand easy rayden I got this

Rayden: if you insist...what's got her so engrossed she doesn't notice us?

Blitzo sneaks up on emberlyn

Blitzo [singing]: I love killing, shooting things, I'll use a saw! I'll use a fork, too! Da dun, da da.

Rayden: *whisper yelling* get on with it!

Blitzo: let me finish my rituals! *starts singing again* I love killing things with any kind of weapon, give me a knife and I'll kill someone and today it's gonna be a stupid bitch!

As Blitzo moves to stab Emberlynn, he is suddenly knocked down by a holy force field.

Blitzo: Oof! Ow, what the FUCK?!

He throws his knife at Emberlynn's demon-goat plushie as he's falling, landing it right between its eyes and catching her off-guard

Emberlynn: AHHH! [she falls over, then looks at Blitzo up and down] Oh! [lovestruck] Ohh~

Rayden: well I hate that noise...

Emberlynn's parents, hearing the commotion upstairs, look with disgust

Mr. Pinkle: Ugh, must be watching them damn "hen-tays" again.

Mrs. Pinkle: Why won't she leave?!

Emberlynn: Oh my god! What... are you?

Rayden: shut up and die

Rayden fires a gunshot only for the bullet to ricochet back at him

Rayden: *ducks* WOAH

Blitzo: Fuck. How are you doing this? What is that?!

Emberlynn: It's official merch from "Akuma no Otto". It's the pendant given to Setsuki in episode 5-6-9 that protects-

Rayden: perhaps a simple synopsis for those of us who've left our homes and touched grass?

Emberlynn: it's merchandise from a tv show-Wait, are you demons? Like... real demons?

Blitzo: Yeah, basically.

Rayden: technically I'm a sinner which isn't a official demon I think

Emberlynn: demons? Here to steal a little kitten like me? Made to choose which of your demonic harems to join, "blushes".

Rayden: I'm sorry? Who in their right mind has a harem?

Blitzo: Why d'you think we would do something like that?

The two takes a look around Emberlynn's room and immediately sees just why--her walls and shelves are filled with monster-lover merchandise, from books like "My First Time with an Eldritch Horror" to a statue of a woman and a dragon together to a Cthulhu body pillow.

Rayden: oh shit

Blitzo: Ohhhh, you're one of those.

Emberlynn: So what's your name?

Rayden is shaking his head

Blitzo: Uhhh. Blitzo. That's rayden

Rayden facepalms

Emberlynn: rayden? Like raiden from metal gear!!??

Rayden: who?

Emberlynn shoves a poster for metal gear rising: revengeance in raydens face

Rayden: wha- this looks nothing like me!!

Emberlynn: can you say the line?

Rayden: what line!?

Emberlynn: My sword is a tool of justice!

Rayden: no!!

Emberlynn: so then what are you gonna do to me, Blitzy and ray-kun? *twirls raydens hair around her finger*

Rayden shoves her off

Blitzo: Uh. Apparently nothing while you're wearing that.

Emberlynn: I don't feel like myself. Are- are you... putting some sort of- nasty spell over me?

Blitzo: What? No, we're literally just standing here, lady.

Rayden: we can't even do magic on our own

Emberlynn: [gets on her knees] If you say so, master. I mean...daddy~

Rayden: ugh did you not get laid in high school or something? Or is this what anime does topple long term?

Emberlynn: But when you look into my eyes, [she crawls over to him before getting up] it's like I have no control over my... [seemingly leans in to kiss him before slapping him across the face.] No!

Blitzo: [in pain from getting slapped] Ahh-haaah, 'kaaay.

Emberlynn: You demonic brutes! I'm too pure a heart for you to corrupt!

Rayden: really don't think you need our help for that

Blitzo: Oh, thank fucking Satan.

Emberlynn: [excited] Satan? Is that your lord?

Rayden: in his wildest dreams maybe

Emberlynn: The one you plan to offer me to as a sexual sacrifice? But once you have me, you realize you could never go through with it because I'm the only woman who could ever make you feel something after the loss of your wife!

Rayden:.....why does it have to revolve around sex? Isn't that kinda dull?

Emberlynn: Your wife- who was the first one your lord Satan took as a concubine. But now you'd rather have me! And you'd rather fight him to the death than allow me to come to the same fate!

Rayden and blitzo just share a weirded out stare and back up a bit

Rayden: fuck lady no we're here to kill you. You had some sort of cyberbully incident with someone they got vengeful and hired us...excessive maybe but hey at this point I kinda see why.

Emberlynn: You want to kill... meee?

Blitzo: Oh yeah. Even more now.

Rayden: why does that turn you on?

Emberlynn: Of course! You want to take my mortal soul to Hell so that we can be together forever!

Rayden: though I'm hoping heaven pities you enough to make it through

Blitzo: Look, whatever gets you there. Can you just take off the necklace and hand over my knife?

Emberlynn: Yes master! [Gasps] No, I mustn't. But I want you! My soul... but I'm destined for this!

Blitzo: Bitch, can we hurry this up?

Emberlynn: OHHHHH YESSS!

She uses Blitzo's knife to cut off the necklace, which dramatically flies through the air and into raydens waiting hand

Blitzo: Thanks.

Emberlynn: Make it quick-

*BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG*

Rayden is seen holding both his smoking pistols above the shot up corpse

Rayden: fuckin finally. Let's get out of this cesspool

Blitzo leans down to the corpse

Blitzo: *stabs body* Stab. Stab stab.

Blitzo rubs the Asmodean Crystal, just before he and rayden step through the portal back to Hell.

Moments later, Blitzo is back in his office at I.M.P Headquarters, on his cell with his client.

Blitzo: Hey, yeah, it's done. So you can go ahead and wire me that money now, and I'll go ahead and never think about this night ever again.

Emberlynn: I'm here, Blitzy-kun and ray-kuuun!!

Blitzo and rayden peek out the window and finds to their horror that Emberlynn has become a catlike Sinner Demon and is right across the street from his place of work

Emberlynn: I saw your billboard! I'm here for you, my love! I'll be by your side forever!

Rayden: *pulls out a walkie talkie* take the shot jack

A gunshot is heard and emberlynn falls dead

Jack is seen on a nearby building with an angelic sniper rifle

Jack: I'm...not sure how to feel about this rayden

Rayden: (from walkie talkie) you'll thank me on your wedding day

Rayden is next seen at the carmines home for odette and Claras lesson

Rayden: girls where are you?

Clara: (offscreen) in here

Rayden goes into a room to see them watching anime....

Rayden is seen again throwing the tv into the dumpster

 

Chapter 32: Hellish shorts #3

Medical examination

Charlie: ok everyone in light of the recent battle I think it's best for everyone to get a routine physical examination

Mastema: seems fair enough *gets up to leave* well I'll leave you all to it-

Charlie: you need this too uncle

Mastema: uh...no I don't

Vaggie: you vomited black goo you need an examination

Mastema stands still in silence before taking off

Rayden: I'll go get him

Angel Dust: what's got him so spooked

Vaggie: mastema has this irrational fear that any time he gets an medical examination he's being sent to be "fixed"

Angel Dust: wait he's afraid he's-

Vaggie: getting a lobotomy

Angel Dust: oh...yeah I was thinking something WAY different

Rayden is seen returning covered in scratches and dragging mastema by the leg

Mastema: *whimper* I'm docking your pay

After a figurative (and somewhat literal) battle everyone had gotten tested

Charlie: now was that so bad?

Mastema is hugging his pot plant

Vaggie: mastema you're being ridiculous you're perfectly fine. Only thing we haven't looked at is your x-rays

Charlie: *pulls out x-rays* right and they look-

Charlie: uhh good and healthy?

Vaggie: if anyones unhealthy it's rayden

Jack: why's that?

Vaggie: he has everything

Jack: you mean he has pneumonia?

Vaggie: yes

Jack: Lyme disease?

Vaggie: yes

Jack:.....cancer?

Vaggie: yes

Jack: bubonic plague?

Vaggie: yes

Jack: typhoid fever?

Vaggie: the list goes on. He's even got a strand of covid.

Charlie: his x-rays are freaky too

Everyone looks at rayden unnerved

Husk: remind me how you're not dead or infecting anyone else like a virus?

Charlie: well all the diseases seem to have balanced out to the point they can't risk leaving the body or killing the host without perishing

Rayden: hmph!

Husk: you need help blackveil

Rayden: blackveils need no medical assistance that was proven when we created bird flu and set those geese to take the fall...to this day they're still scratching their heads

Everyone: 😨

Jack: what about me?

Charlie: *reads jacks results* um you uh you're fine!

Jack: that does't give me confidence

Vaggie: *sigh* due to your "history" you've kinda damaged your hips?

Jack: meaning?

Charlie: well you it seems you actually now have a f-

Jack: nope!! Gonna stop you right there

 

 

Jacks Pet Problem

Jack is seen watching mastema play with yarnaby and pianosaurus from the stairs as he's carrying some papers

Charlie: everything ok jack?

Jack: hm? Oh yeah I'm fine it's just...I don't know everyone's got some kind of pet except me. You and vaggie have keekee, angel and husk share fat nuggets, mastema has those....things and rayden has Pedro as well as niffty-

Charlie: I wouldn't classify niffty as a pet

Jack: rayden had her on a leash yesterday

Charlie: ....ok then that's disturbing

The next day as jack was writing things down on a clipboard he hears a kick at his door

He opens the door to see Charlie holding a pair of guinea pigs in a basket

Charlie: met your new pets!

She hands the basket to jack and skips off happily

Jack: hm well you two look manageable I suppose

 

NEXT MORNING

 

Charlie walks to the couch to see jack

Charlie: so jack how'd you like your new friends?

Jack turns to Charlie with the darkest circles under his eyes

Jack stands up and goes to his room as Charlie follows

He pushes open his door to reveal it full of guinea pigs in every spot

Jack: you bought a male and female...they both entered their heat cycle...all night I heard them getting it on...my room is now in ruin...please get rid of them

Jack then walks away

Charlie: oops...

Rayden then pokes out from behind her holding a frying pan and spatula

Rayden: *licks lips*

 

 

Pop culture influence

Everyone is sitting on the couch watching movies

First was hellraiser

Rayden: well that didn't happen that way

Vaggie: what's that supposed to mean? You weren't there

Rayden: no but when you read your grandfathers auto-biography it tends to stay in mind

Charlie: grandfather?!

Husk: did he fight cenobites or something?

Rayden: of course not

Husk: yeah that's what I-

Rayden: he's the guy with all those pins in him

Everyones jaws fell

Jack: your grandfather is pinhead!?

Rayden: a title he resented but he liked to keep his interrogation tools close.

Jack: eugh

Rayden: you'll find my family has influenced pop culture greatly...unlike my great great uncle who just had to deal with Ian Fleming following him around because of a crush

Angel dust: your great great uncle...WAS JAMES BOND?!

Rayden: well the books and early movie versions anyway all the Daniel Craig stuff was me

Everyone is just trying to comprehend the information

Vaggie: your family couldn't be apart of everything! What about Django unchained

Rayden: many great aunt Gwen blackveil the southern slaughterer

Vaggie: 47 ronin?

Rayden: distant cousin Jeremiah blackveil

Vaggie: No Country for Old Men!?!

Rayden: distant aunt Alicent Blackveil

Angel dust: sheesh next thing you'll say is one of your ancestors inspired pirates of the Caribbean

Rayden just gives angel a look

Mastema: hahaha!....you're joking

Rayden: Nathaniel blackveil the pirate king

 

 

 

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Fruits of Corruption