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Guitarristsklok

Summary:

A new metal sensation is rising on fame, and his name is Faradey Lightning, but Dethklok isn't very fond of this, specially Skwisgaar, since Faradey is not only a singer, but also a guitarrist!

After Skwisgaar made an announcement, the world wants to see who's the better guitarrist: Skwisgaar or Faradey?

(yes guys this is a kind of oc-centered fic, but I've written as if it were an actual episode! meaning Faradey kinda acts as plot device for the episode like it's been done with many characters throughout the show, I swear it's good... I guess, but don't be mistaken, Skwisgaar is the main character here!)

Notes:

Hello metalocalypse fandom! this is the first fanfic I'm writing for it, so I'm very sorry if it's ooc bruh :broken_heart:

I had so much fun writing this shit its not even funny, btw I will drop an image of Faradey in the beginning of the fic so u can visualize my blorbo better :3 :3

note: Idk how to write skwisgaars accent since I can barely understand me, and I don't know anything about guitars

also the og text is in portuguese, so if the grammar is ass is because google translator sucks, btw byeeee enjoy the fic yayayayaya

Work Text:

Faradey Lightning played his guitar while singing on his very first show. He seemed happy, he played with his heart and soul and the public was going absolutely wild.

(this is Faradey, say hi to him, he is very sweet and is my cutie patootie)

 

Dethklok watched Faradey's show from Mordhaus.


“Who is this? His music is kinda...” murderface began to speak.

“Kinda what?” Nathan asked.

"It's kinda cool, I don't know...”

“yeah, the sound is kinda cool... he plays well” Pickles agreed with murderface.


Skwisgaar looked closely at Faradey's guitar, trying to guess if it was or wasn't a playback. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't.


Some time later the show ends, and they were already watching something else, probably the news.

 

“He sucks” Skwisgaar comments.

"Why? He plays wells! Of course, just not betters than me” Toki replies.

“He managez to be worses than yous... I don’t know, I think there’s something suspicious about this F- Faradis? guy.” Skwis gets all tangled up when trying to say Faradey's name

 


“Hah, I think there’s someone a little jealous here” Murderface comments.

"Me? Never! Pfft, why would a guitarist like me be jealous of a dildo like him?” Skwisgaar complains.


But soon after that, the journalist starts talking about Faradey's show, which catches the band's attention.

“There is a new sensation on the music scene! Meet Faradey Lightning, who recently shook the international scene with his experimental music: heavy metal and electronic! This afternoon was his first big show. Shall we take a look at the singer/guitarist’s opinion on his show?”

 


“What do yous mean he has become famous? I never heards of this guy before.” Skwisgaar comments.

“eh, I've seen him in some magazines, I didn't think he was that great, I still don't, but the music is cool” pickles answers skwis.


“Oh, I’m really excited!” Faradey said, with his extremely strong English accent, “I feel honored to finally be able to play my first show! Dethklok helped me, I was inspired by their music, I'm a big fan! Mainly a skwisgaar and toki fan, they are great guitarists, they encouraged me to improve on the guitar!”

“What do the fans think of you, Faradey?” the interviewer asks

“ah, I think they are-“ Faradey can’t even complete the sentence, as a fan of his interrupts the interview.


“I think Faradey is great! A great singer! He deserves the fame! He's so much better than stupid Dethklok! On top of that, a guitarist a thousand times better than Skwisgaar! Long live Faradey!” and the entire audience choruses what the fan says, while Faradey laughs uncontrollably at the situation in the background, but it was difficult to say if it was from nervousness or if he found it funny.

 


“WHAT?!” Skwisgaar exclaims “HOW CAN THEY SAY THAT ABOUT ME?!”

“he talkeds about me! He saids ams an inspirations for him!” Toki speaks with joy in his voice

“SHUT UP TOKI, THIS IS ABOUT ME NOW!”

Toki withdraws with a frown, hugging his stuffed bear.

 


“ow, calm down man, Faradey didn’t say anything about you or us-“ pickles says before being interrupted

“he ams goings to pay...” skwis says

 

“but pickles, that crazy guy didn’t just talk bad about skwisgaar, but about us too” Nathan comments

“I’m going to have Charles kill that guy then, simple as that. Kill that "Faradey" too, his music is cool n all but man he's annoying” Muderface complains

 

Nathan and Skwisgaar agree to murderface, but Pickles is ready for action:

“I don’t think this is the best solution. Ask Charles first before anything is done, dood.”

 


The journalist on TV continues talking in the background.

“oh... my, it looks like Dethklok will have to watch out, Faradey is rising to fame quickly! Especially Skwisgaar... will they recover after these comments?”

Skwisgaar silently ground his teeth in anger.

 

*

 

The news cuts, and the screens shrinks to make room for the scene of The Tribunal Headquarters, where Senator Stampingston was infront of the screens.


“gentlemen” He began. “It seems to us that there is a new sensation of the moment. His name is Faradey Lightning, which according to him, is pronounced like Faraday, and he, along with his fans, has been causing great international discomfort.” Faradey's face filled the tribunal screens.


“He is a "regular jackoff" and is completely addicted to energy drinks. He recently left England to expand his solo musical career, playing the guitar and singing his own songs. He has become extremely popular for his... experimental music. This has been visibly affecting the Dethklok band, especially the lead guitarist, Skwisgaar” The images of Faradey's first big show appeared on the screens.


“this guy is a threat to Dethklok. He could shake up the careers of Dethklok members so much that he could finally put an end to the band, making them fight for popularity.” General Crozier soon comments.


“While we’re on the subject, here’s an expert on rivalry in the music scene, her name is Sofiah Casbelterie Ahsweltven.”

A woman of small stature, with glasses and a high-pitched voice took a step forward:


“Thank you for having me, senator.  The music scene is extremely unstable due to thousands of fights and rivalries between musical celebrities, one of the most obvious being the rivalry between the two guitarists of Dethklok. But this time it's different. Faradey Lightning, even though he came out of nowhere, is a brilliant guitarist, and his alternative music and voice are captivating everyone who listens to him. Many Dethklok fans are becoming Faradey fans too, which is making the band and the boy start to rival each other in terms of popularity. Not only that, but Skwisgaar has already made a public appearance commenting on the younger guitarist and their newest rivalry.”


Skwisgaar appears on the screen giving an interview, visibly irritated:

“about that Faradi? That guy sucks. He obviouslyz thinks he's better than ams, very self-entitlezd. He turned his fans against me, which I think it's shit. If he think he ams better than ams, then he'll have to prove me! I want to do battle againsts him, and I wills do justice to my name and Dethklok.”

 

The interview pauses, with Sofiah continuing her speech:

“Whatever this battle is, it can’t be good. If Skwisgaar fails against Faradey, Dethklok's popularity would go down spiriling, which means we would have a global crisis. the ideal would be to prevent Faradey from winning.”


“That’s better than this band remaining on the scene” Crozier interrupts the expert.

“let's let the battle of guitarists take place, let's make Dethklok experience fear for the first time in a long time...” Selatcia drawls.

 

*

In the meeting room there were all the members of Dethklok together with Charles, their manager, and there they were watching Dethklok Minute.


“there’s a new star in the area! This is Faradey Lightning, and he's been bothering our favorite band a lot. After Skwisgaar Skwigelf's public speech about the new guitarist, he says:

“He’s trying to fight me? Wow! I didn't expect that, facing my idol face-to-face, I can say that I'm a little scared, but excited at the same time, I'm going to practice as much as I can before the big day arrives, who knows if I'll win?! It would be awesome!”


What does skwisgaar think of this? We'll know soon! And we pray that this little boy doesn't steal the fame of our favorite band. This was the Dethklok minute!”

 

“Skwisgaar, are you seriously asking him for a... 'guitar fight'?” Charles questions.

“of course, he's a dildo, wanting to steal the band's fames, MY FAME! I ams the fastest guitarists alive, he can't beats me, no one can, I ams unique, the guitar god.” Skwisgaar answers to Charles, playing his guitar, as always.

“well, if Toki did practice, I think there would be someone better than you heheheheh” Muderface makes fun of skwisgaar, who gives a hateful look to Muderface, who laughs again.

 

“Well, he messed with the band, messed with Skwisgaar, and he's threatening our fame, isn't it better to do something about him?” Nathan asks

"Let’s kill him!!!” murderface proposes again, but now to charles.


“W-what? No! We are not going to kill anyone just because he is allegedly 'threatening' your fame. My God, you are the seventh largest economy in the world, in wich world would he threaten your fame? It’s the press exaggerating things as usual” Charles retorts.

 

“Not to mentions, he ams really cools! Ams don't think I've ever hear him talking bad about the bands... or tellings his fans to attack us.” Toki says

“Shut up, it’s not yours war here, Toki” Skwisgaar complains.


“But Toki is right, he's actually pretty cool, and I think Charles is right about the band thing? But what's a fact, it's that he's threatening skwisgaar's fame as the greatest guitarist alive.” Pickles comments.

“And if skwisgaar fails, the band could be negatively affected too, Pickles, but I highly doubt skwisgaar will lose to be honest.” Charles answers Pickles.

“He better loses! Then ams can be the best guitarist evers!” Toki exclaims happily


Everyone looks at Toki with an “obviously not” look on their face.

Charles takes a long sigh.


“Skwisgaar, are you sure you want to go through with this? Is your insecurity that fragile?”

“My insecurity ams not fragliz! I just want to prove to the public that no ones ams better than me on guitars. I want to shut up the media and defends the band!”

The last part being obviously a lie.


Charles rolls his eyes.

“ok, it will happen then. Practice, I will schedule the ‘battle’ for you two…”

“pfft. I ams always practicing, dildo.” He scoffs off, playing the guitar.

 

*

 

The scene cuts to Faradey's house, where he looks into a mirror with a sad expression, and he sighs.


“man... I didn't know skwisgaar was such a d🎸ck! Dude, I didn’t do anything for him, I just happened to become famous and now people are turning me against him, he’s turning me against me!”


Faradey wasn't the type of guy to pick a fight, so seeing that his idol wanted to fight him for something he didn't do left him very disappointed to say the least. He picks up his guitar, sits on his bed and starts going over some chords, but his hands were sweaty and he didn't seem to be able to play properly.


“ugh... he pays me, he’ll see! I'm going to train to the point of overcoming him, I'm going to shut that son of a b🎸tch's arrogant mouth, I've barely arrived on the scene and I'm already having my image tarnished because of an idiot fan who turned him against me, everyone will pay me, the press, the fans, and skwisgaar!”

There, on his bed, he sighs and starts practicing the chords again, this time more determined and seemingly able to play more properly than before.

 

*

 

“Skwisgaaaarrrr~” murderface sang

“whats now?”

“So, is that battle is going to happen??”

“Of course, isn’t it alreadys obvious?”

“ok, guys, I can't believe he's going to have to participate in a battle to assert himself as the 'best guitarist', I thought Skwis' skills already spoke for itself, is he declining? heheheheheh”

 

The whole band laughed at murderface's unfunny comment, which made Skwisgaar quite angry to say the least.

“it’s just to shut up the press and save the band, idiot”

“What a lame excuse, huh. how much are you unlearning how to play the guitar to have to reach this level? hahah!”


Skwisgaar marched out of living room as Charles entered, and he noticed this.

“what did you do to skwisgaar now?” charles asks

“Nothing, we’re just making fun of him” Nathan replies

“look, skwisgaar is going through a moment of doubts about himself, could you at least give him a little support?”

“bro that sounds kinda gay” pickles answers

“you’re the ones who know then, but anyway, about the new album-”


"album? What album? Ahh wow how lazy, I think I'm going to take a shower..." Murderface says

“I’m going to the bathroom” and Pickles quickly went out of the living room.

“I... I have to eat... I haven't eaten all day” Nathan comments

“you have to make the album, boys” Charles says

“ahh, not now, we’re busy” Murderface complains before leaving the living room

 

Meanwhile, Toki was clearly thinking about what Charles said earlier about Skwisgaar.

 

*

 

Skwisgaar was sitting on his bed with his guitar and visibly nervous. He was, indeed, really insecure, he was afraid that someone would take his position as the greatest guitarist alive today, it was a lot of pressure on his shoulders and he seemed to be breaking down.


Until Toki walks in the door


“ah, hulloh, Skwisgaar, are yous practicings?”


Skwisgaar is startled and immediately tries to regain his posture


“y-yes, I ams training, please don’t disturbs me, Toki”


“Oh, I just wanted to say that you’re going to do very wells. You knows, we sometimes fight over the solos and stuff to see who's better at the guitars, but against that Faradis? Yous are much better, ams much better too! He will lose”


This seemed to lift Skwisgaar's spirits


“thank you, Toki... really. Now ams need to practises, excuse me.”


Toki goes away and Skwisgaar is left alone again with just a guitar, but motivated, because while most of the members were making fun of him because of the whole “damn, you're so bad at the guitar that people are comparing you to that Faradey? LOL”, Toki, even though he participated a little bit in the fun, took the time to at least motivate him, something that not even Charles had time to do yet.

 

*

 

The big day arrived, and both guitarists were almost eating their fingers with anxiety from biting their nails. It was the world's day to see who was the better guitarist: Skwisgaar or Faradey!

It was a big stage and there was a big audience, and at the backstage things were tense, Skwisgaar and Faradey just wouldn't stop arguing.


“Ams the greatest guitarists alives! You will never out do's me!”

“Learn to speak English for starters, and secondly, maybe I'm here to out do you, yeah! That’s what I’m here for, they put me against you, so I better overcome you successfully!”

"lie! Yous never will!”

"I am going to!"

“bullsh🎸t!”

 

Meanwhile, on the stage was Nathan Explosion, about to announce the battle.

“uh... hello” Nathan spoke into the microphone, easily leaving the fervent audience in silence “we're here today because... Skwisgaar Skwigelf will face Faradey Lightning, in a guitar battle. Well, I believe we all know who's going to win here, I don't even know why you idiots started comparing our guitarist with this 20 year old kid who recently became famous, I think you're crazy. They should have compared this kid to Toki to begin with”

A “HEY!” could be heard in the distance, it was Toki protesting of course.


You can only hear a cough from the audience.

“uh... ok... here on this side we have Skwisgaar Skwigelf, from our band Dethklok”

Skwisgaar emerged from backstage on the right side of the stage. A part of the audience screamed with joy and many girls fainted with such beauty and the level of badass-ness that Skwis possessed.


“and on the other side, Faradey Lightning... who is not from any band”

Faradey came out from the left side of the stage, clearly irritated, and now another part of the audience was exclaiming Faradey's name, with more girls fainting.

 

They both showed off with their corpse paint, of course.

“Now... I don’t know, start the fight, me and the rest of the band will be watching from backstage.” And Nathan left the stage, leaving Skwisgaar and Faradey alone.

A silence fills the arena.


“yous'e gone, shortie” Skwisgaar said to Faradey

"oh yeah?" he replied, starting to do a simpler guitarr riff

Skwisgaar laughed at such simplicity of the riff, and set out to make an extremely complicated and fast riff, which scared Faradey to say the least, but he tried his best to keep up with Skwisgaar.

 

The riffs from both parts started to become something cohesive, almost becoming a song. The audience went crazy seeing the guitarists' skills.

“damn, this sound is really cool! We should do something with this sample!” Pickles comments “does anyone have a recorder?”

Nathan took out his dethphone and started recording the guitarists' sound. Things were intense, the two were already sweating profusely, getting close to each other, close enough that they could hit each other and everything, until Faradey messed up everything by missing chords and notes because the music was getting too fast.

 

“SH🎸T-!” he screams, but before he could do anything, skwisgaar punched Faradey in the stomach with his guitar, making Faradey fall and writhe in pain.

“Ams said ams was the better guitarist, suck that, press, fans, and especially you, Faradis! Yous all ams dildos!”

 

Faradey coughs before he can say anything.

"shut up! I messed up because of you! And look, to begin with, the one who turned you against me was an idiot fan of mine and later the press, I hate you all! They already tarnished my image because of an idiot fan! I don't even know what made me participate in this sh🎸t in the first place, it was my ego! My damn ego! I’m already good, God, do I need to prove it by defeating one of the best guitarists alive today?!”


“Stops with the lame excuses!” Skwisgaar yells


“you saw the news! Where is your literacy capacity?! Stupid, c🎸cksucker!” Faradey exclaims, and the crowd gasps “I didn't want to fight, I already explained myself, but no one understands me, you're all going to pay! Especially you, Skwisgaar!”

“They underestimateds me, and yous'e going to pay for it, Faradis!”

“IT’S FARADEY!” Faradey gets up and tries to swing his guitar at Skwisgaar, which he dodges, but things soon escalate into a hand-to-hand fight and the audience goes crazy, and of course, Nathan is filming everything... along with Toki, Murderface and Pickles, of course.


After a lot of hair pulling, slaps and punches, the two were finally separated, with both of them bloody and with bruises, Faradey a little more hurt than skwisgaar, but we ignore that- anyways...

 

*


On TV, the newspaper was showing...

 

“The guitar battle yesterday was a complete disaster!” the journalist began. “Skwisgaar Skwigelf was declared the winner after Faradey Lightning messed up the 'song', but soon after that, the battle that was just about guitar playing turned into a hand-to-hand brawl! But Faradey's previous words about fans and media made him gain somwhat some extra popularity for his courage of contesting the press and the fans, not tarnishing the younger guitarist's image as much as he thought it would.”

 

“Skwisgaar made another public speech regarding Faradey after the fight”

“Faradis is not better than Skwisgaar, as was proven yesterday. But the boy really has potentials. Not going to get over me, but I think him continuing to makes music would be a good idea. He has the same views on fans and press as Dethklok at the end of the day, but I still hate him.”


“Faradey, on the other hand, also had a statement to make about Skwisgaar”

“Yesterday was insane, I never thought I would fight against my idol. He's an 🎸sshole, at least I heard that he said I have potential, so yeah thats kinda insane too. I still admire his work in the band, he's a great guitarist, but not anymore as a person, unfortunately. Too arrogant.”


“Dethklok also officially announced that they no longer see Faradey as a threat to their popularity, as they were able to prove that they are better than Faradey Lightning, according to them.”

 

“Hey, Skwisgaar, are you happy now?” Pickles turns off the TV.

"I ams. I massacred him! And I saved the bands too, I guess...”