Po's College Life

by Johnny_Hung1

Summary:

A writer with a problem, Po navigates some of the weird and subtle issues of modern-day College. That means freedom and women. But a thorn haunts the panda's life, one that might tear him OR his love life apart.

Chapter 1

I don't own Kung fu panda or gain any money from the franchaise

 

Her lover's arms wrapped her as he kissed her again and again. Each kiss burned with the caress of his soft hands. His hands slipped down her lithe body and curled around her sides, smoothly groping her breasts. She gasped. He stopped. "Why did you stop?" She panted. 

He smiled hungrily, " I want to eat. Now." 

The panda's fingers stopped typing, staring at the computer screen. His green eyes scanned the document only to sigh. "This isn't working." Po groaned. He stared at the dorm ceiling. The bunk bed behind him bumped against his chair. Incandescent lights lit up his desk underneath a hanging shelf connecting two separate dressers. The bathroom and sink were on the right side of the dorm, away from Po in the small but survivable dorm room.

Po defeatedly groaned again and closed his laptop. 

"You okay, Po?" said a snub-nosed monkey sitting on the top bunk. 

"Yeah, I'm just... doing my hobby."

"Writing? Don't you have homework or something?" 

Po shrugged. "I took a break." The simian jumped down and scurried over to the bear's desk. 

"Soooo what are you writing?" 

"N-n-nothing. Stop being nosy, Monkey."

"Heh just teasing you," The simian laughed. 

Po rolled his eyes and made a long sigh. "It's a story about a girl, but... I don't know anything about this stuff. I don't know if it's good either. It's detailed, but is it good?"

The simian shrugged. "Why don't you shack up with a real girl and make your own love life? Get your inspiration that way." 

Po glared, "Not helping, Monkey. Ugh, why do I talk to you again?"

"Because I'm your roommate and best friend."

"I need better friends," Po joked, receiving Monkey's dirty underwear thrown at him. 

"Get some fresh air. Sitting at a computer all day can't be good for your brain." 

Po sighed, "Alright. I need to get some stuff anyway." 

"And get laid, man! You're in college! You're only young once. Live your life."

"I want to keep my body in one piece for my life. Unlike mister broken femur over here."

"Ughh, don't remind me," The monkey grumbled, gingerly climbing up to the top bunk. "It still hurts when it rains." 

"It does?"

"No, but I love telling people that," Monkey laughed. Po shook his head with a smile and left to explore Jade University's campus. 

Jade University rested in a small depression nuzzled by slight rolling hills. A long promenade connected most of the departments, except the gym. The side on the right of the walkway headed towards Humanities: music, business, arts, English, etc., and the left one headed towards Sciences: psychology, nursing, biology, etc. The admin building and library sat on the incline in the middle with the men's and women's dorms sandwiching them slightly below it on a flat plain. 

"Ugh, would it kill them to put an elevator or escalator," Po sighed. He walked to the admin which had the cafeteria above and behind it. A stand of fruits, snacks, and warm meals was centered around small fast food shops. "Well, at least there aren't that many stairs," Po muttered as he grabbed fruits, beans, and some small snacks. Moving past the cashier, he finally got to a tall large airy mess hall with several long tables of chatting socializing students. 

Po sighed a bit. He saw the college football team together at one table, nerds in the back, nursing students at the side, and a few scattered people eating on the fringes of those tables. Po sat outside the cliches as normal when a heavy smack to his back knocked the wind out of him. "OW! Hey! Easy Jessica," Po grumbled. 

"Hehe, sorry, Po. You looked down. Tired looking at pretty women all day," Jessica joked.

"No, the train. Didn't know there was a law that said all universities had to be near a railroad. But I'm getting used to it."

"Heh, it's not messing with your writing, is it?"

"No, it's good for some ideas. That's not why I'm a little... off." Po sighed as Jessica sat next to him. The Siberian Husky always wore a black leather jacket. She wore black boots with a casual white T-shirt. She'd switch between wearing ripped blue jeans and black ones. The T-shirt only hid her cleavage up to a point, though, but Po ate his bean soup casually. 

"Monkey giving you problems? Just say the word and I'll make sure he won't know where to find his dick."

The panda stared. "Where would you-"

"In his ass."

"I'm sure he would feel that," Po chuckled. "You're always so eager to fight someone." 

Jessica smirked, "Why do you think I practice Kung Fu?"

"You practice Krav Maga."

"Same thing."

"No... it's not. And that's not why I'm... off." 

"Girl problem?"

Po rose an eyebrow. "Why do you always assume it's about a girl?"

"Because you're a hopeless romantic," Jessica teased. 

Po playfully pushed her arm. "You're lucky you're my childhood friend. Anyone else would've tucked their tail with you around." 

"Hey, truth's a bitch. And I play that role perfectly," The canine shrugged, "I have to be honest, right?"

"Your kind of honesty involves swearing, a lot of flirty clothing, and a crotch grab followed by a succubus kiss." 

"Only with my faves. Flaunt what you got. That's my policy," Jessica smirked. Po rolled his eyes. "Besides, half of business is distracting the competition. The Art of War." 

"That is NOT what the Art of War says, and you're telling me you do all of this to get the upper hand on someone?"

"And I might want a date. Nothing wrong with that," Jessica giggled. 

Po shook his head with a small smile, munching on his sandwich. "Did your professor ever figure out what you wanted to do with your business major? About the... what was it again?"

"A Bi strip club," Jessica chuckled, "And it's none of his fucking business." 

"I mean... he is a business major... so... Kind of is."

"Shut up, Po."

"Just saying," Po smiled. Jessica scoffed a laugh before standing up and patting the panda on the back. 

"Well, it's good to see you. Nice to know you can get outside of the library and not shrivel up like an overused dick." 

Po shivered and sighed, "I can always count on you to give me an interesting mental picture. And I don't spend that much time in the library." 

"You smell like books, Po."

"Hey! That's a good smell." 

"Still, don't work so hard you forget what the sun looks like."

"You're not supposed to look at the sun, Jessica," Po called out. The husky playfully flipped him off as she left. The panda shook his head but smiled. 

After finishing his meal, he went to his working home: the English Building. As he made his way down what he called the Hall of Professors, he stopped at a door and knocked. "Dr. Shifu?" 

"Ah! Come in, Po." The panda opened the door to see a little red panda speedily typing on his computer with squarish glasses that hung on his small snout. "Are the grades done?"

"Not yet... I'm still finishing them up," Po explained. "I wanted to ask a... writing question."

"Go ahead." 

"How do you write a convincing story when you don't have the experience about it?"

Shifu rose his bushy eyebrow. "What sex scene are you trying to write?"

"What?! What makes you think it's a sex scene!"

"When students ask that question, it usually revolves around sex."

"Oh... well it's not!" Po spluttered. His eyes darted away from the red panda's chuckling face, making him fidget with his fingers. 

"Well, research is always important, but assuming this is about personal experience and you can't get the experience at the moment, I would suggest writing a throwaway story," Shifu replied. 

"A throwaway story?" 

"Write a story that is intentionally bad. It gives you a reference point and helps with your database. And over time, you can see what works, what doesn't, and what you'll need to ask a professional. Having that data will make an interview with an expert much more productive. Either way, throw away your inhibitions and see what works. For example, if it's a sex scene-"

"Okay okay okay, I get it," Po muttered. "Thanks, I... appreciate it."

"Sorry if I've made you uncomfortable."

"More like embarrassed," Po grumbled. "Anyway, I'll get those papers done." 

Shifu nodded, "I look forward to that." Po left the room, journeyed across the promenade, and walked over to the men's dorm. 

"A throwaway story, huh? Sounds like a solid plan," he mumbled to himself. "Ugh, what am I doing? I shouldn't even be... ugh, why is life so complicated?" The panda's feet found the dorm again, passing and waving to the other students as he went to his room. 

"Hey, man! Get back here!" A pair of leopard feet bolted passed Po while a storming naked buffalo stampeded after the leopard. Po could've sworn he saw a pair of pants in the feline's mouth. 

"Yep, normal day at college," Po muttered. He walked into his dorm room and noticed Monkey was gone.

He did say he would be out for a while. 

Po gulped. He felt the object in his pocket burning a hole. Shaking his head, he sat down and did some work instead. "Okay, Mr. Simon has... hmmm." 

His brain yelled at him for working on a subject he was ahead in. His mind pulled his hand towards his phone.

"Dang it," The panda muttered. He walked over to his bed. He put curtains around the bottom bunk bed to block out Monkey's desk light; the simian study late at night. Pulling the makeshift bed curtains back, he laid back onto his bed and pulled out his phone. 

At least he'd get some decent sleep by doing this early.  

 

Chapter 2

Po grumbled at his thick textbook. The smell of sterile glassware and latex gloves distracted him. The panda's eyes glanced between the petri dish and his textbook before letting out a loud defeated sigh. "Is something wrong, Po?" 

"Hm? No, just... struggling with something," the panda muttered. His lab partner tilted her serpentine head. "I'm fine, Viper."

"You don't look fine. And not being fine around chemicals is a recipe for disaster."

Po rolled his eyes. Granted she was right, the experiment was pretty mild. Soon the petri dish started to fizz, and he began writing. "Viper, I'm just... thinking," Po said, finishing up the report as Viper discarded the dish.

"About what?" She asked.

Po sighed and smiled at the snake, "Don't worry about it. I'll be fine. Thanks for everything, Viper. I think I'd be struggling a lot if you weren't my lab partner. Thank gods you're a Biochem major." 

"Anytime, Po. But I am worried about you."

"Why?" 

Viper shrugged her body upward in a way unique to snakes. "You seem stressed, and college is stressful. You might want to look into a counselor." 

"A therapist? No, no, no," Po chuckled somberly. "I'll be fine, Viper. Thanks for your help." The snake nodded, and Po walked out of the lab, frowning. "Besides, I know what a shrink will tell me." The bear sighed to himself and made his way to the campus library. 

The library's circular lobby stretched up three floors with a dizzying wall of knowledge. Books stood among grand white ascending arches. A stairwell with a white banister wrapped around the circular center. Computers on the first floor stood next to the periodicals and magazine prints. Po walked to the center of the lobby where a tiled world map stood beneath his feet. 

He passed the tiles, went to the computers, and started tapping away on a different project. Within an hour of focus, he stopped working and leaned back into his chair. He was mostly done. I could take a break for a moment, he thought. Then he remembered his conversation with Dr. Shifu. "Hmm, a throwaway story, huh?" 

He looked left and right. His fingers pulled open one of the Word documents and started typing. 

The smoke cleared as the test subject stepped out of the cylinder. The scientists thought he would fit regardless of the growth. He didn't. He swelled much bigger than predicted. His muscled sculpted arms cracked the cylinder's glass and loudly bent the metal frames. The scientists' silent dropped jaws refused to scream. They did nothing. What could they do as the enlarged panda stepped out, causing a small earthquake in the lab? Every muscle bulged with gleaming sweat. His shoulders stuck fast instead of his gut to the cylinder. The slightly chubby Adonis panda stepped onto the smooth floor, flexing and tightening muscles as the smoke cleared further. 

But all eyes went straight to his penis. The female scientists gulped. A long pole standing a marvelous wet 10 inches long with a girth of 4-5 inches proudly pulsed in front of them. Its head generated a large dollop of clear liquid. The testes were plumped into perfectly peach-sized spheres, bubbling to release their load. 

Po stopped typing. This hyper story, as they were called, made him shake his head. The story was arousing, at least to him, but that's not why he stopped. Why did the male character have to be like this?

The panda sighed, "This... is... stupid." He didn't want to write it. Why? Po looked around. Busy students typed at their computers while others took the stairs to the quieter area where more books were. On the other side of the lobby were tables with talking group studies that were an excuse for hanging out.

This was reality. 

And the story wasn't reality. His younger self probably would write it without a second thought. Big boobs, big butt, good-looking woman, that's it. What more did people want from a horny teenager? And it wasn't like women didn't find muscles and a man in a good suit hot. Women could be pervy, if teen Jessica was anything to go off of. Po chuckled a bit. 

He looked at his work. Was it a coincidence that the character was a panda? He sighed deeply and erased the document.

Suddenly a large hand clapped onto Po's shoulder, knocking him out of his daze. "Hey, Po."

"Huh!? Oh! Hey, Tai Lung," Po wheezed a bit. The muscularly athletic snow leopard sat next to him, swinging his backpack to the front. "Need help with your Chemistry homework?"

"You actually teach it better than the teachers," Tai Lung grumbled. Po smiled as he looked over the leopard's stuff. 

"What about Monkey? I mean, he's your friend." 

"You're my friend, too," Tai Lung replied. "Just because Monkey introduced us to each other doesn't me-"

"He gets distracted easily, doesn't he?" 

"And he makes way too many jokes for me to take this seriously," The snow leopard griped. He glanced at the blank computer screen. "What are you writing?" 

"Nothing important really. Just some stuff that keeps me sane."

"Sane how?" 

Po shrugged. "Writing helps me express my thoughts and feelings. It's messy junk. That's why I'm an English major."

"Anything that I should worry about? I don't need another university shooter."

"Don't worry. I'll spare you."

"Po!"

"I'm kidding. It's not anything like that," Po sighed.

The snow leopard's face creased with worry, "Sounds like you're having a hard time. Why don't you get out more? I know you take education seriously but-"

"I'm not a nerd."

"That is false! Your knowledge about Chinese History, martial arts, weaponry, muster gas, war history, bananas being berries, and the fact a day on Venus is longer than a year on Earth is weird! And don't get me started on your impressive knowledge about anatomy." 

"I'm a writer! I look up things that are interesting to me!" Po exclaimed. 

The snow cat rolled his eyes, "My point is that if you're worried about staying sane, socializing might help. What about Jessica? She's good for a fun time." 

Po snorted, "Being around Jessica too long is like getting through No Nut November while working for the porn industry." 

Tai Lung blinked several times. "That's... a... weirdly useful analogy."

"That's why I'm an English major." 

"I'm also surprised you know about the Triple N." 

"I'm not old Tai. I know stuff," The panda snapped a bit. 

"Okay, okay, sorry." They returned to studying and after half an hour sped by, Tai Lung stuffed his papers back into his pack. "You still might want to get out more. Maybe just talk with people, no girlfriend stuff yet. You're a freshman, man. Even introverts need friends." His eyes lit up. "The Welcome Party is coming up. That's a great place to meet people. AND no alcohol." 

Po chuckled a bit. "Why bring that up?"

"I know you don't like alcohol at parties," Tai Lung smirked. 

"Because it doesn't make sense. Why am I going to drink to enjoy a party? That's like masturbating to enjoy sex." 

"Well, it's supposed to bring down the nerves."

"Deep breathing does that too," Po smirked. The snow leopard chuckled. "I'll think about it." 

"That's all I ask." Tai Lung gave the panda one last shoulder pat and left the library. A frown bent the panda's lips. He looked at the blank document on the computer and shook his head. 

"I need to study," Po muttered. He refocused on his literature homework before doing his English editing. 

Anything to fill the time. 

But over time, the jitter in his legs became annoying. His eyes fought his desire to look at the pages of words. "Grrrr. It's okay. Just keep doing-"

Bing!

"AHH!" 

Po clapped his hand over his mouth. He looked at his phone and saw the text. "Oh! Song! Sweet!" Po smiled widely. He quickly packed his bag and left the library. "She wants to catch up? Okay." The panda couldn't help but smile. On his way back to the science building, he remembered the time he first met Song. She was a sophomore mentor who introduced Po to Monkey when they were looking for a university. Strolling to the science building, Po quickly passed scientific articles and experiments hung on the walls while various animal skeletons hung by strings. 

Po strolled to a miniature library on the third floor. There, busily reading through her phone and textbook was a short snow leopard woman in a dark purple tank top and bell-bottom jeans that led to a pair of sandals; it was still warm outside. "Hey Song." 

"Hey Po," The Chemistry major smiled. "How's college?"

Po chuckled nervously as he sat down, "Eh, just ordinary stuff. You?"

"Nothing much. Been a really tough semester," Song sighed. 

"Why?" 

"Well, I have to take Organic Chemistry, but the teacher is just a real snob. Then I have to do physics this year."

"What do you want to do with your major again?" Po asked. 

"Chemical patent lawyer." 

"Ah, go on," Po murmured. 

"Anyways, my roommates are doing some weird stuff with her gymnastics, and she wanted me to come with her, but I can't go because I need to go on a trip with my class to a chemical factory."

"Is that... fun?"

"I get to figure out what your shampoo is made out of." 

"Great, now my fur will be dry," Po chuckled politely.

"But yeah, I'm really worried about P Chem. People keep saying that it's really hard and... Po, are you okay?"

The panda's eyes snapped back to focus as he shook his head awake. "Huh? Why do you say that?"

"Nothing, you just look... sad." 

"Ohh no, no, I just... I guess I'm just realizing something," Po said slowly. "Please continue." As the snow leopard went on, the panda kept his thoughts to himself. He scanned the snow leopard. Shining blue eyes and a small, cute smile that showed up every time Po made a bad joke. She was hardworking and goal-oriented. 

In Po's small town, these were rare qualities, at least when he was growing up. He never saw many women in his suburban town go out of their comfort zones like Song. 

But slowly, the panda felt his lips frown and his eyes started to drift to the window, watching the swaying green trees. Then he felt cold. Po shook his head. I'm not cold, he thought, I just feel... off. 

Why? 

Suddenly, the snow leopard's tone changed. "But enough about me, what about you?" Before the panda could speak, Song's phone went off. "Oh no, I'm so sorry, Po. I have to go. It's a study group. We could catch up later if-"

"No, no, I... I have to make a pit stop somewhere anyway. It's okay. I'll... I'll see you at the Welcome Party?" Po smiled. The snow leopard smiled back and left Po alone. "That was... weird." 

Po made his way out of the science building. His body felt stuck in two spaces with no anchor. He found himself passing the cafe and the admin building to the open field in front. "Hey, Po!" 

Jessica's call knocked him out of the weird funk. She was talking with some girls and guys on the lawn. "What, what? Oh! Jessica." The husky walked over to Po. 

"What's up? You look lost."

"No... just... I feel like I'm.... switched off?"

"Switched off?"

"Like... Like something stopped working, but my... emotional software system is buffering, and the spinning wheel of death is on my face."

Jessica laughed, "Shit man, you come up with the weirdest metaphors. But seriously, what's got you upset?" 

Po sighed and sat with Jessica on a bench nearby. The bear took a deep breath and hunched over a bit. "My... crush went away."

"She... transferred?"

"No, like... like I don't feel like I like her anymore. She began talking to me and I just... fell out of interest." 

"Huh, weird. How do you feel about that?"

"Honestly, good. I don't feel any pain. I just feel conflicted. Like I should be feeling the pain." 

"Who was the crush?"

"Uh... Song," Po said shyly. 

"Oh... wow... that's uh... good."

Po squinted his eyes. "Why do you say it like that?" 

"Nothing, it's just... well, I've talked with her before and she said she wasn't interested in you at all so-"

"Annnndd here comes the hurt feelings," Po groaned, slumping down. 

"Sorry," Jessica grimaced. "Damn it, I should've said that better."

"No, either way, the point is I never had a chance," Po sighed, slumping back into the bench. "Why am I not good enough for people?"

"Po, you can't say that just off of one person." 

"Yeah, but it's not like people are flocking to me." 

Jessica shrugged, "People only see what they're interested in."

"So I'm interesting to no one?!" Po snapped. "I've never been told I even look nice by girls my age, Jess. Only my mom and some dudes."

"Po, you wouldn't want someone to like you for your looks, right?"

"Hmm, easy for you to say. You look like a runway model," Po grumbled.

"You mean those catty sticks? Aww man!" Jessica pouted, "I was going for the punk goth modest pornstar!" 

"That too. But I guess you're right."

"It'll be okay, Po. You'll see. You're gonna find someone who's a slut for you."

"That's... not... ugh," Po groaned as the husky left him. He sighed. Standing up from the bench, he journeyed on into the men's dorm. His eyes briefly saw a few guys chatting up with women in the lobby. Their slightly enamored faces slightly irritated Po. 

He knew Jessica was right, but the feelings still nagged him like evil mean 13-year-olds who didn't have anything better to do than point out his insecurities. The panda entered his room and tossed his bag to the bunk bed. 

"Hey, what's up with you?" Monkey said from their desk. 

"Nothing."

"Can't be nothing if you're throwing around $500 worth of books."

"Eh, they're bulletproof," Po sighed, plopping onto the bed. A moment of silence encroached on the room. Monkey looked like he was tinkering with some device at his desk. Maybe a camera or sample machine. Po sighed again, "Monkey, can I ask you a question?" 

"Sure?"

"Do you think I'm good-looking?"

"Yeah dude. Although you're a little lax on the dress."

"Jeans suck."

"Still."

"Hmm," Po muttered. "I think I'm gonna sleep. It's been a long day."

"Alright man. I have to do something for my class tonight, so I'll be out."

"Alright," Po sighed, closing the makeshift bed curtains. But the panda simply stared at the bottom of the top bunk bed with his hands behind his head. Sure, the panda's dress was simple: Sweatpants with an ordinary T-shirt. On special occasions, he would wear black or blue jeans, and a dress button-up, but that was it. His dark green hoodie was only on because the buildings were so cold. 

The panda silently grumbled as Monkey left the room. Maybe he just wasn't the type of person people found attractive. Po shook his head. "Ugh." He grabbed his phone and used his normal sleeping aid. 

Anything to get away from the pain in his chest. 

 

Chapter 3

Being bored in his favorite English class was new to Po. As Dr. Shifu talked, Po routinely jotted down notes here and there while staring into space. She wasn't interested in you at all. 

Po didn't blame Jessica for telling him the truth. He was just upset with the truth, gritting his teeth and furrowing his eyebrows. He rubbed his muzzle from the scrunched-up pain he accumulated. 

Before he knew it, people got up and class was over. He sighed and stood up. "Po, could I talk with you for a moment?" 

The panda came to the front of the lecture hall where the red panda stood with his briefcase. "Is something wrong?" 

"I was going to ask you that," Shifu replied. "You seemed... well... troubled is an understatement. You looked... pissed."

Po chuckled a bit at his word choice. "I'm fine."

"Po, your attitude could have a significant effect on your grades. I'm not saying you have to tell me, but... it's good to talk about it." 

The large panda sighed, leaning his weight against one of the tables. "It's... love problems. I learned that I didn't have any chance with my recent crush whatsoever. It just... makes me feel like... I'm not worth anyone's time. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be dumping this on you."

"Po, it's important to be honest with your feelings. You'd be surprised how they affect everything."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I'm actually more surprised that you aren't dating. I thought you and Jessica were a thing."

Po sighed, "No, I.... Wait WHAT!? Is that what people are saying?!"

"Oh... I have made an error," Shifu said, rubbing the side of his chin.

"Jessica and I are friends. Just friends! We've been like that since we were kids. No, it's someone else." 

"Are you upset about not having a chance?"

"Yeah?"

"Hmm," The red panda took a deep breath and put some papers into his briefcase. "Po, you'll have to learn this yourself, but it bears saying. You have inherent value and worth, but you're also unique. Give it time and some self-observation, and you'll start to understand that what just happened is probably for the best."

"You mean... we weren't meant for each other?"

"That and your worth isn't tied to whether someone finds you attractive. I hope you'll remember that."

"I'll try," Po sighed. 

The red panda was right, but that didn't make the bear feel better. Po glanced at his watch. Noon. He had to get to the cafeteria. Tai Lung wanted his help. 

Later on, Po found Tai Lung sitting at one of the tables and sat down next to him. "Hey, you wanted some help with your notes?"

"Uhhh yeah. Po is something wrong? You're not usually this... serious looking," Tai Lung immediately asked. 

Rolling his eyes, Po sighed, "Might as well tell everyone. Am I that obvious?"

"Yes, but that's not a bad thing. You're unapologetically you. You're fun to be around, a great talker.... when you're not geeking out on movies and stories that is." 

"I'm a writer. Sue me."

"And despite your size and species, you give anything you do your all, even when you don't need to... like sports." 

Po smirked, "You're still upset that I beat you in volleyball."

"I'm getting that rematch out of you sooner or later, panda," the snow leopard smirked back. 

Po chuckled, letting a soft smile come to his face. "Thanks, Tai Lung. I really appreciate it."

"So... what's got you upset?"

"I just had a crush on this girl named Song and... I found out that I never had a chance with her." 

"Oh! Uhhh I'm so sorry."

Po glanced and then hardened his gaze at the snow leopard's face. Tai Lung's lips were tightly pursed together and his eyes darted away from his. Not something the confident snow leopard was known for. "What's with the face?" Po asked. 

"What face?"

"Tai Lung."

"It's nothing." 

"Why are you acting like you... You and her are dating, aren't you?"

"It was recent, I swear!" 

"Dude, why didn't you tell me!" 

"I didn't know! You didn't tell me you had a crush on her! I would've told you!!" Tai Lung exclaimed. 

Po puffed out air like a dragon breathing out smoke. But he took a long calming breath. "Alright, alright. We didn't know. I'm sorry and... I forgive you."

"Not... sure how that works, but okay," Tai Lung replied. "I'm really sorry, Po."

"Nah, it's not your fault. There's no way you would've known. I probably should've asked if she had a boyfriend this year."

"How are you gonna move on?" Tai Lung asked. Po stared at the snow leopard with a raised eyebrow. "I'm just saying, moving on from a crush is the same as a breakup. It's a heartbreak."

"How would you know that?" Po asked, though not in a demeaning way. 

Tai Lung sighed and shrugged, "I was a bully in high school. One of the girls I liked started dating this nerd just to get me upset and jealous. Even when I beat the kid and we 'got together', she put me on such an emotional roller coaster that I actually jumped for joy when we broke up."

"How did you break up?" Po asked. 

"I... accidentally cheated on her."

Po stifled a laugh, "Did you accidentally put your penis in her cunt, too?" Both panda and snow leopard widened their eyes at Po's words. "Sorry, that was a Jessica joke."

"I can tell," Tai Lung chuckled. "No, I... my grades were taking a hit and I needed to play football. I started talking with this nerdy girl and... I guess I didn't realize girls could be... not overly dramatic. At the very least she wasn't intentionally causing me grief. So when my ex found out, she said we were through, and I never looked back. I hear from some people back home that she's married to someone." 

"Giving them the same amount of grief?"

"I don't know, and I've... learned not to care," Tai Lung said somberly. "My life isn't better because the villain of my story gets their just desserts." He paused and looked at the panda. "So that's why I ask. What are you going to do to move on?" 

"I don't know," Po sighed. They stayed quiet for a moment. "What did you look for in a woman after that? I mean... if you don't mind me asking."

"Someone hard-working, knows what they want, and who I can co-exist with," Tai Lung explained, smiling. "I guess that's why I like Song." 

Po took a deep breath, exhaling as much pain as he could. "I hope you and Song do great together, Tai. I really do." 

The snow leopard gently patted Po on the shoulder, smiling with an understanding Po now knew he could relate to. "Maybe you should go to the Welcome party. Might get your mind off of things," Tai Lung said. 

"I have to go either way," Po sighed. 

"Why?"

"For... reasons. Anyways, let's get your notes. Don't want you flunking... again," Po said with a chuckle that hid his secret. 

A/N: Sorry if there's been some problems with the website. It hasn't been showing a lot of my stuff for some reason. 

 

Chapter 4

In a large gym filled with blue, red, and green spotlights all mixed in a deep dark purple, the party began. The fall semester's Welcome (Back) party was in full swing, and the panda drifted into the flood of people. It was a 90s party. Animals dressed in nostalgic cartoons all around. Bouncy houses were on the left wall. Cotton candy was being served with ice pops and ring pops on the right. People also came in ripped jeans, flannel shirts, bucket hats, and wheelies. Retro video games were at the near entrance, and Po could see the early pixelated image of Fario. The party spilled outside of the gym where people played with Beyblades like it was a card game. Food trucks, face paints, and a couple of arcade games stood under the gym's wide awing. Po smiled a bit. Everything seemed fun. 

He saw a familiar face near the entrance. "Is that... huh, it is," Po murmured. He walked over to the feline and smiled sheepishly. "Hey, Song. How are you doing?"

"Oh! Po. Nice to see you. I'm doing okay," She smiled. "Are you liking the party?"

"Yeah. It's making me go through two decades of nostalgia, though."

"You're not that old, Po."

"Hey, you don't know that," Po smirked. Song chuckled a bit. "But uh... so... ugh I don't know how to say this."

"What is it?"

"It's nothing bad, I... I just didn't know that you and Tai Lung were dating."

"Oh!" The snow leopard said with enough surprise to startle Po. She grimaced a bit. "I forgot you two talk."

"Is that a problem?"

"Well I... he and I recently dated. I really like him, and it's been nice." 

"I can tell," Po smiled, seeing the subtle joy on her face. The panda gripped the small plastic cup he got from one of the food trucks. 

Tell her. 

His stomach churned with that thought. 

The awkward silence was growing. Po could see the snow leopard twitch a bit, darting her eyes around. He sighed. "Might as well get this over with. Uhh. I guess then it doesn't matter to tell you that I had a crush on you, then?" 

"Oh... uhh...well if I'm being honest... I knew."

"Okay," Po said. Song raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I... didn't think you would be so okay with that."

"I've been told I'm very obvious," Po breathed a little lighter. "But... I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable." 

"No, no... well. At first, I thought you were a bit of a creeper."

"Wow, how does that make me feel better?" Po muttered. 

"Sorry! Sorry, it's just," Song stumbled, "It's just... for an English major you're around a lot of the places I go. Like Mr. Ping's Tofu Shop?"

"He makes good bean buns," Po protested. 

"The chemistry building?"

"Okay, but not all the time. I have Gen Science with Viper."

"The library?" Song asked. 

"I'm an English Major. Where else do you think a story nerd like me would go? The gym?"

"Fair point. But I don't think you'd qualify for a nerd," Song chuckled.

"Really? Thanks, that actually makes me feel better," Po smiled. "And I'm glad you two are dating. I hope everything turns out great for you." With that, the panda left the snow leopard. It was just then that Tai Lung came and picked Song up to go into the gym. The smile on Po's face vanished as he stared at bit at Tai Lung's body. 

Looking down at his own form, a long frown creased the panda's face. Even though he wore a black T-Shirt of his favorite band, Tenacious T, he could still see the jiggles in his belly. He was a panda. He knew that it wouldn't be fair to compare himself to Tai Lung. Another look at the snow leopard, and Po couldn't help but feel upset. He glanced at his cup of water and tossed its contents to the grass. "I need some juice," He muttered like a drunkard. He walked over to the food table inside where he found a familiar canine with a small bunny guy. By the way, the bunny was laughing and looking up at the husky, Po could only assume that it might be one of Jessica's flings. 

"Hey, Po!" 

"Hey," Po sadly smiled. 

"I'll get you some drinks," said the bunny. 

"Don't be too long," Jessica smirked with a sensual leer. After the bunny hopped away, the canine saw the panda's frown. "What's wrong, Po?"

"I... I told Song that I had a crush on her." 

"And?"

"It was fine, but... then Tai Lung came and... I don't know," His eyes drifted to the other side of the gym. Even with the crowd of different animals, he could still see Tai Lung plainly, like the universe wanted to rub an insult in the panda's wounds. "I guess I just... feel a little jealous? I don't know. It's like... why can't I have a body like that?"

"Don't worry, Po. Women go for all types of bodies," Jessica smirked. "Maybe you just need another pretty lady to get your mind off things. I got some contacts if you like. Some of them might be a little... shady, but don't worry about that." 

"Uh huh," Po muttered. He paused, though. Was he that desperate? Shaking his head, he sighed, "Not gonna lie, Jessica, but I don't think the girls you hang out with would go for a guy like me."

"What do you mean? Po, you're a great guy. Anyone who says otherwise needs to get their balls and pussy kicked," Jessica grunted. Po smiled at the violent comment. 

"That reminds me. Dr. Shifu told me something funny. He thought you and I were dating." 

"Really?" Jessica chuckled. "To be honest, I'm actually surprised you didn't go for me."

Po coughed up the juice he was sipping and slammed his fist to his chest. He snapped his head around. "Wait, what! You're not playing with me, are you?! You seriously would've gone out with me?" 

"Yeah."

"Why?" 

"Like I said, Po. You're a great guy," Jessica shrugged, "But over time, I just saw you as kind of a brother." 

"Heh, knowing you, you'd definitely be into incest with me though," Po chuckled. 

"Only if it's hot," Jessica winked.

"Wow, I just... wow," Po stared at the hardwood floor, grasping his head like it would spin off. "I... can't believe it." 

"You're not gonna act weird around me now, are you?" Jessica grimaced.

"Of course not," Po replied. "I get it. For a... hot minute, I thought about it. But over time, it faded."

"Awww, was I your first crush?" Jessica teased. The bear rolled his eyes. "But you need to relax with the love life, Po. It's causing you too much stress. Relax and enjoy the party. Have fun."

"Yeah, I guess. By the way, where is your... friend?"

"You can just say fling, dude," Jessica chuckled. Her eyes scanned the room towards the drinks. The panda heard a sudden growl leave her throat. Following her line of sight, he saw the husky staring at a miserable scared bunny getting his chest poked at by a pissed-off-looking bunny girl with her female posse. "Ugh, looks like his ex wants to bully him some more. Excuse me for a moment." 

"No blood this time," Po said. 

"Hahahaha! Oh wait... you're serious," Jessica muttered. "Fine." She walked over to the drinks. When the male bunny saw her coming, he paled. Po could imagine what was going through his head. But just when the bunny was shutting his eyes, waiting for things to go from bad to worse. 

SPLASH!

"AAAHHHHHH!"

"Leave the guy alone!" Jessica barked. "He broke up with you because you treat him like a slave. Get over it before I make you get over it! Now get your pussies out of here!" The bunny girls quickly disappeared while a stunned male bunny gawked at the husky wiping her hands. She leaned down and kissed the bunny, leaving him in a lovestruck daze. With that, the panda walked away, peeking at the smiling shy bunny walking away with the confident husky. 

Po sighed. Sometimes, he wished he could have the canine's confidence. He shook his head. "Alright, that's enough moping. Time to have fun." 

Po tossed some basketballs into a three-throw game, laughing and joking with the people around. He stopped by at a ninja wall climb and somehow managed to get up to the highest rack, surprising himself. "You wouldn't think a panda could do that," said a voice in the crowd passing by. 

Po smiled at the confidence boost. Later on, he went by the back of the gym where a stage for assemblies and lectures were held. On that stage were a bunch of large-sized games: Jenga, connect-four, checkers, and chess. There was even karaoke. Po stood next to the Jenga, stacking it up when he felt someone tap his shoulder. "Want to play a game?" Po turned his head. A white lion stood about a head shorter than him before him. She had a tie-dye shirt that dipped down a bit, letting the panda see she was a little top-heavy, though her arms had a slight muscular build to them, so slight that Po wouldn't have seen them if the stage weren't flooded in spotlights. 

"Uhhh sure sure," Po smiled nervously. The lioness smiled back. As they played, Po struggled to focus, pulling out the blocks while the woman stood watching. "My name's Po, by the way."

"Kayla." 

"So... what do you do?" Po asked.

"I'm majoring in stripper mechanics." 

Po stopped his hand and glared up at her slight cattish smirk. "Nice try," Po said as he pulled the piece out. 

"Art major," Kayla said, pulling a piece out. "You?"

"English major. What kind of art are you trying to do?" 

"Eh, I'm just focused on my passion. You know, the normal artist's drama." 

"Uhhhh sure," Po smiled, pulling out another piece. "What do you want to do with it?" 

"Eh, maybe some animations. You?"

The panda smirked, "I want to try making the world's greatest sex scene."

"Wh-What?" Then the tower came crashing down. "HEY! That's not fair!"

"You did it first," Po laughed. The white cat crossed her arms underneath her bosom, slightly pushing them up. "Here, let me help."

"Fine, but just because I'm a tease doesn't mean you should be."

Po rose his eyebrow, "You know what a hypocrite is?"

"Yeah yeah," Kayla playfully brushed him off. Po smiled as they finished putting the pieces back together. "Soo... when am I going to see that sex scene," She smirked. 

"Uhhh I'm just trying to do what I love. Maybe be an English Professor?" 

"Mmm," Kayla tittered until she saw Po shaking his head. "What's wrong?"

"You... ever get that feeling like you want to do something that you know shouldn't be done yet?"

Kayla raised an eyebrow. "You're not going to kiss me, are you?"

"What?! No!" 

"Aww."

"Stop doing that," Po sighed, "I mean like... you shouldn't do something without thinking it through-"

"But you really want to do it?" Kayla finished. Po nodded. "Yeah, those are inhibitions, Po. They usually keep you safe." 

"Yeah, but... what happens when you follow them all the time?"

Kayla shrugged. "You have a very boring life." 

"Hmm, thanks, Kayla. I really needed this."

"Any time," Kayla simpered and walked away. Po found himself smiling for a while and after a few more games, he went back to his dorm. Trekking silently into the room, he found no one there, but he didn't mind. He went to his bed and was about to pull out his phone. 

"Ehh, I don't really need you tonight," Po mumbled. He plugged his phone on the desk away from his bed and went to sleep. 

 

Chapter 5

In college, weeks can go by without a student noticing. They work long into the night sometimes until their project or homework is finally completed. A couple of weeks passed after the party when Po got a text from Kayla at the library. Kayla knew Jessica, so Po guessed that Jessica gave her his phone number. 

Hey, Po. This is Kayla. Can you swing by the art department? I need your help with something.

Po chuckled. You don't want me to get naked so you can paint me, do you?

Don't give me ideas ;)

Po's face warmed up a bit. Kayla was a tease, but he'd be lying if the flirtatious nature wasn't interesting. I just need some help moving something.

Okay. 

Po probably should've asked what she wanted to move before agreeing. He groaned loudly as he moved a large stone tab into place at the art department. "GRR! This is heavy!" 

"A little more!" Kayla said, helping Po lift it. They finally dropped it into place with a satisfying and tired crash. "Ooof, thanks Po."

"Yeah," Po panted. "But next time, get one of your stronger friends to do this." 

"Sorry, Po. I thought you were stronger."

"What makes you say that?"

Kayla shrugged. "A lot of big guys lift a lot."

"What about me looks like I lift at all," Po said, jiggling his belly underneath his hoodie. 

Kayla smiled cheekily, "Some of the greatest things are where you least expect it." Po stared for a moment shifting his gaze to the floor. 

"What do you need the stone slab for anyway?"

"Art."

"What kind of art?"

"The rock kind," Kayla smirked. Po rolled his eyes. "Art project. One of many here in the art department."

"I can tell," Po said, looking around the different sculptures, paintings, and sketches in the large art studio. The white lion busily checked the status of the rock until the bear asked something. "Kayla, what about me makes you think I'm more than meets the eye?"

Tilting her head, the lioness's jade eyes turned a little sad. "It's just something I've learned in life."

"I don't think that rule applies to me."

"You're fun to be around, at least that's what Jessica says. And I've seen that for myself."

"Yeah, but I'm also nervous a lot of the time." 

"You don't have to be nervous, Po. Especially around me," Kayla smiled. 

"You know Jessica. I kind of have to. She has a lot of dirt on me."

"I'll try not to dig too deeply," Kayla smirked. "Thanks for the help, Po. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome. Though, you might want to choose... lighter media. Ones that don't break my back."

"I've heard strength training can help with that," Kayla winked. "Worth a shot."

"Heh, thanks." Po left the art building in a bit of a daze. As he walked up the right promenade, his foot kicked small pebbles. Skateboarding students whizzed past, weaving through students and obstacles on the inclined promenade. Po chuckled. He remembered several students coming to class with a busted lip or bandages just because they couldn't stop their boards in time. 

Po looked at his watch. "I have to get to the lab," He sighed. Powerwalking to the left side of the cafeteria and admin building, Po sprinted into the science lab and pulled his goggles out of his bookbag, sitting next to a prepared snake. "Hey."

"Hey! I was wondering where you were."

"Am I late?"

"You're right on time. Dead on time," Viper said.

"Heh, Sorry," Po replied. 

The lab went on without much of a hitch. Viper focused on placing the glass tube in the right place for an experiment dealing with molasses, but Po's focus wasn't on keeping the tube straight. "Po, I need help."

"Oh! Sorry, sorry," Po quickly reengaged with life and the two managed to get the experiment started. "Okay, now-"

"Hold on, what's wrong?"

"Huh? What makes you think something's wrong?"

"You're distracted. Usually, you get... a little hard to deal with when you're distracted."

"Ouch," Po muttered. 

"I'm not trying to be mean, Po. Though I guess I could've said that a little better," Viper sighed. "It's just... we are dealing with some harsh chemicals. And now that the experiment's prepared, we can relax. So... what's wrong?" 

Po stood silent for a moment. The panda finally sighed. "Viper, how do you know if a girl is flirting or interested in you?"

"Hire a fortune-teller."

"I'm... sorry?" Po asked with heavy confusion. 

"Women are typically better at picking up sexual interests than men. That's why it's easier for women to get a date than men. They're usually on the receiving end. But I will admit that women aren't the most... obvious about their intentions. There's this idea that men should always initiate while women can't, but that's not set in stone. Why do you ask?" 

"I... I think I'm interested in someone, but I don't know how to approach it. Or if I should. Usually, I try to be friends before falling in love or something. But... I don't know. She's... kind of a tease but she's genuinely friendly. She gives me great advice and I... really like her, but I... don't know how to do this," Po said. 

"Has this happened recently?"

"Yeah."

Viper rubbed the bottom of her chin with the tip of her tail. "Maybe you should start talking with your guy friends about your feelings instead of women. See if that makes a difference." 

Po rose an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with this?" 

"To figure out WHY you like her. One time, my friend told me he loved me, and I asked him why," Viper said, chuckling a bit. "He told me I was the first person he was emotionally honest with, but as he started talking about it, he realized he liked being emotionally honest with me, not me in general. It's a good thing too. I wasn't really attracted to him." 

"Huh," Po said reflectively. Soon, time was up for the lab and the two wrapped things up and went out. But the panda couldn't get his mind off of a question. "Viper... what do you mean emotionally honest?"

Viper sighed sadly. "Guys normally have a hard time opening up and being honest with their feelings. And it's not like society is really friendly to emotionally honest men. I've seen so many guys lock their feelings up like a vault simply because they don't want to get hurt anymore. And they have to be careful who they tell their feelings to because... they know how easy it is to get hurt. So... guys typically need time alone to think or process their emotions. They're used to doing it alone," Viper gave another sigh like she was unearthing some pain that Po didn't know about. Maybe she had seen this herself?

Or caused it?

"Women," Viper went on, "are usually good at emotionally connecting with others. It's more encouraged. Or at least we know the 'motions' to do so. And that's where the problem lies." 

"You've had to do this a lot?" 

"Yeah," Viper replied. "A lot of guys mistake my kindness for interest, and I have to let them down gently but truthfully. It helps guys to be open with other guys, but-"

"That's so hard to find. Especially when men's feelings aren't taken seriously," Po said somberly. "But... thank you. It really helped me. And... I guess you're right. I should probably learn to lean more on my guy friends. Or find more mature guy friends," Po smiled. 

Viper smiled back, a little happier. She slithered off leaving Po to think a little longer about everything that was talked about, which led him to an earlier thought. "Why do I like Kayla?"

Boobs

"Other than that, brain," Po muttered, slapping himself. "I mean, she's fun, but..." He trailed off and left the topic on the table. He walked over to the lunch hall, grabbed a meal, and sat at the long table by himself. The crowded busy air of the lunch hall pushed out any thoughts he had until someone came and sat by him. 

"Hey! Po!" 

"Oh, hey Monkey," Po said, absentmindedly eating the burrito he had. 

"Hey, did you clean the bathroom recently? You've been doing that a lot." 

Po's attention snapped back to reality. "Uhh! I uuhhh just wanted to make sure it's clean."

"Yeah but-"

"Hey, how did you like the party?" Po quickly asked. 

"Oh I was there for a while. It was fun. Anyway, I came by to tell you that I'm going on another trip." 

"Oh," Po gulped, "Why are you going on so many of these trips?"

"The life of a Wildlife Conservation major," Monkey smiled. "Anyways I just wanted to tell you."

"Yeah... thanks for the heads up," Po sighed. The simian left, leaving the panda to his dreaded thoughts. "What now? Hmmm." He thought back to his talk with Kayla. "Hmmm. I wonder." 

Finishing up his burrito, Po walked out of the cafeteria and down the mountain. Passing the dorms, there was the large gymnasium connected to the auditorium. Po walked into the circular gym lobby, still mulling over his idea. He didn't get far until a familiar snow leopard appeared. "Po! What are you doing here?"

"What, do you have to have a membership to be at the gym?" Po said with a light chuckle. 

Tai Lung laughed, "I wasn't trying to be mean, I was just-"

"I just... wanted to get a sense of the gym, you know? Wondering if some more... physical stuff could work out for me." 

The friendly snow leopard's eyes shrank harshly. "Who's the girl?"

"WHAT?! What makes you think it's a girl?" 

"Men don't want to get in shape unless it's a girl, another friend, medical issues, an inspiring movie or anime, to lose weight-"

"Okay, I get it," Po interrupted. "But it doesn't matter why I'm here, right?"

"Actually, it does," Tai Lung replied seriously. "External motivations become internal motivations sometimes, and your internal motivation determines how much you push yourself. And if you're pushing yourself for the wrong reasons, an injury is the least of your worries."

Po grumbled, "Tai Lung, sometimes you're too wise."

"Blame my dad."

"What?"

"He wanted a six-figure working son, all the stuff he didn't do or didn't want to do. Just... make sure you know why you're doing this. And make sure it's a good one. You don't want to come here out of fear."

Po rolled his eyes, but the haunting warning from the snow leopard made him shiver slightly. "I'll be... fine."  

The gym had a large weight equipment area with a studio to the right. Through the large glass window, Po could see a Pilates class just finishing up. His eyes made contact with another set of jade eyes. A familiar white lion waved to him in her sports bra that hugged her front nicely. Po nervously grinned and waved, seeing Kayla giggle. He tried to ignore the fact he was trying to guess how big her cup size was. Maybe D or a large C? Then again, Po wasn't familiar with how bras worked. Probably needed to research that for further-

"Like what you see?"

Po snapped his eyes to the smirking snow leopard. "Wh-What? No, no, I'm... that's just a friend of mine."

"Do you know her?"

"Not really. I mean it's only been four months into the semester."

"Why don't you talk to Jessica about her? She knows Kayla."

Po raised his eyebrow. "So you know her?"

"She comes around a bit, but I probably don't know her as much as Jessica does." 

"Why should I talk with Jessica?"

"Just a gut feeling," Tai Lung shrugged. "I know I've only known you for a while but Kayla doesn't seem to be the one for you."

Po narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"I don't know. You just seem a little more... mature than her."

The panda's head jerked back. "That's a new one."  

Po stared at the window where the white lion was talking to a friend. He shook his head and sighed. Strange advice, but Po decided to focus on the present. "Alright, enough of that. I was hoping to get a crash course of... exercising at a gym?"

Tai Lung covered a snort. "You mean strength training?"

"I'm a newbie, dude. Give me a break."

"Alright, alright. Come on, newbie, I'll show you some stuff," Tai Lung smiled. 

 

Chapter 6

Each breath filled her with more and more. The churning power raced through her. He could see her naked form filling out. First her gut. The magic seemed to start there. Then her breasts. They grew like balloons, slowly filling up into furry mounds. 34 A cups turned to B cups, then C, then D until her torso started to grow too, growing into a 36. Her rear filled out and-

"Po! I'm home!

"DAHH!" Po jumped and covered up his stuff just out of habit. When he realized it was Monkey he breathed a little. "Oh Monkey, what are you doing back so soon? I thought you were on a trip?" 

"The trip got canceled. Sorry for scaring you but I couldn't resist," Monkey snickered. He tossed his stuff up to his bed and sat down on it. "Anyway, whatcha writing?"

"Nothing, nothing, just... doing some therapy work." 

"Therapy work?" Monkey rolled up towards the edge of the bunk bed where he could see Po more clearly. "Are you working on something... traumatic? If you want to talk about it, I'm here for you, bro."

"No, no, thanks. That's not it. I'm just... trying to manage myself, I guess. It helps with my insecurities."

"Alright, just... don't forget to live your life, you know?" 

"I know, and I won't," Po smiled, "Thanks Monkey." Just then he got a text. "Anyways I've got to Ow!"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just started working out with Tai Lung and I'm sore as heck."

"Ooooh starting to get those newbie gains, eh?" 

Po rolled his eyes. "Nothing like that. At least not yet," The panda grabbed his things and walked over to the library. "Ugh, why did I agree to go through pain?" Climbing up some steps, he made his way to the library. Scanning the circular lobby, he found the white lion waving to him from the second story. "Ugh, couldn't you have been on the first floor?" Po muttered. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just... started a training program."

"Oh! Took my advice?" 

"Nah, just... decided to... try something new." 

"And you're sore?"

"And I'm sore," Po groaned quietly. "Anyway, what did you have in mind?" The panda noticed the neutral face on Kayla. She quietly walked him to a study room on the second floor. They walked in and sat on either side of a table that led to a whiteboard on the other end of the table. The lion's face didn't change. It was hard to figure out, but it didn't seem like it was a serious issue by the way she was drinking her juice. Maybe it wasn't that bad. 

"What's up? You don't seem like yourself." 

She rested a hand on her stomach. "I'm... pregnant." 

Po's head came screeching to a halt. "Wh-What?"

"Yeah."

""Wh-When did you-"

"Just this week." 

"D-d-d-d-do you know the father? I mean, that's a stupid question! I mean, I'm sorry. Wow, Uhh what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," She sighed, sipping the juice again. Po's head was racing a mile a minute. To know that Kayla was involved with someone was one thing, to know she was pregnant was a completely different story. "Do you want to feel it?"

"Wh-What?"

"The baby?" She came to him and stood by him. 

That's when his brain kicked on. Po wasn't a science major, but given she just learned that she was pregnant, there was no way the baby would be fully formed. Especially since it takes lions about 3-4 months to be born. And especially since she wasn't showing. 

This only gave Po one conclusion. "You're not really pregnant, are you?"

Kayla's neutral face cracked, "No, just bloated, but seeing your face was priceless." Po stared at her with no discernable face. He just kept blinking. "Po, I was just joking. You should know I'm not going to just get pregnant like that. Especially when you haven't seen me with anyone." 

"Huh... yeah." Po kept staring. 

"What?"

"Nothing I was just... wondering how to get rid of your body after I kill you for that," Po said with surprising calmness.

"Po, I was kidding!"

"I'm deciding if I'm kidding," Po grumbled and started studying.

"Po, I'm sorry," She said, though she couldn't stop laughing as she tried to hug Po.

"Uh uh," Po said, pushing her away. "We don't want to hurt the baby now, do we?"

"I think I created a monster," Kayla chuckled. 

"No, you just... made a decision I had to make easier."

"Please don't kill me," Kayla said, trying to put on a cute face. But the panda didn't seem phased. 

"I'm not gonna kill you... today."

"Po!"

"Hmph," Po grumbled. After an hour or so, Po began to act more civil to Kayla, although he'd randomly act like a nurse for her 'baby'. 

"I'm not going to hear the end of this, am I?"

"Nope," Po smirked deviously. But though he hid behind a laughing smile, Po remembered a talk he had that kept coming to his mind. 

You just seem a little more... mature than her.

Now more than ever, the panda understood what the snow leopard meant. Later on after lunch, Po passed the girl's dorm where he found Jessica in the lobby. Po tilted his head. He forgot that Jessica worked as the girl's dorm receptionist. "Hey, Po. What's up?"

"Nothing. Just... you know Kayla right?"

"White Lion? Yeah, I know her. Playful type," Jessica chuckled.

"Yeah, I'm just realizing that," Po grumbled.

"Oh... did you have a crush on her?"

"Yeah, and it quickly went away today," He told her what happened. 

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jessica laughed loudly. 

"Would you quiet down!"

"Sorry, Po! I'm just... I wish I had thought of doing that to you."

"WHY! Why is everyone mean to me?!" Po growled.

"Po, you know it's a prank. Besides, it would be a whole different scenario if it was your own fucking kid. I think you dodged a bullet."

"What do you mean?"

Jessica shrugged, "Kayla's a fun person to be around but... you don't strike me as the guy that wants to fuck around and party all the time."

"I like parties."

"Yeah but do you like Mia's level of parties?" Jessica smirked. The panda shivered. "I think you'd like someone that's a little more...mature."

"Yeah," Po muttered as he headed towards the door. "I've been hearing that a lot."

"Where are you going now?"

"To work out." 

Without another word, Po left to go to the gym. Quickly scanning his ID, he found Tai Lung at the gym floor, waiting for Po. "Ah! There you are. Are you ready for... what's wrong with you?"

"Ugh, I need to start wearing a mask, people read my face too easily," Po muttered. 

"I only ask because-"

"I look upset, I know," Po grumbled. 

"I was going to say that doing exercises out of anger can cause you to get injured. So... what's wrong?" Tai Lung asked. Po gave a loud sigh and told him what happened. 

Tai Lung did try his best not to laugh, which the panda appreciated, but the held-in sniggers looked like they were causing the snow leopard more pain. "Geez, Tai, it's okay to laugh. I'll be fine."

"AHhahah! I'm sorry, I really don't want to add insult to injury." 

"I know it's a prank. I just... ugh."

"But why are you upset?" Tai Lung asked. 

"I don't know," Po sighed, "I guess I really wanted Kayla to be the one or at least have a nice time with her."

"More of just you wanted her to be the one."

The panda scoffed, "Yeah, yeah. It's just... I know I want to be people's friends before I fall in love, but this is just... annoying." 

"Does she know you like her?"

"I don't care anymore."

"Because she played a prank on you?"

"Because I realize the type of friendship she wants with me. And It's not one that I want. She wants a friend she can joke around with. I'm okay with that, but-"

"That's not what you're looking for in a romantic partner," Tai Lung asked. The panda didn't answer. "Better question. What are you looking for?"

"I... I don't know." 

Tai Lung sighed, "Maybe instead of trying to focus on finding the woman you want. You should focus on trying to be the kind of person you want to attract."

"So... I have to go through a self-reflection montage?" Po asked. 

"While skipping the tearful moments in the rain. But it does mean taking some time to reflect on yourself."

"That's a lot of hard work," Po sighed.

"Well, until you do the hard work, I don't think you'll find what you're looking for. And even if you do, you might not recognize it when it's in front of you." 

Po blew a puff of air. "I really do hate the fact you know so much."

"Perks of entering college at 26 years old," Tai Lung smiled. "Anyways I think we should talk about recovery. You sore?"

"Physically or emotionally?" 

"Po."

"Yes," Po grumbled. 

"Well other than rest, you'll want to supplement some light exercise to relax so you can speed up recovery," The snow leopard looked at the studio. "There's a yoga session coming up. Maybe you should do it." 

"Is there a... guys section?" Po grimaced. "I don't know if I should-"

"You really want to skip out on seeing a bunch of girls in yoga pants."

"Stop using my weaknesses," Po griped. 

Tai Lung smiled, "It's okay, Po. Men do yoga too. And this is more mobility and stretching rather than yoga. And it helps with your flexibility. You may even be able to touch your toes after this." 

"Yeah, sure," Po smirked. "Thanks, Tai Lung. For everything." 

"Hey, if I can help people avoid the same mistakes I did, I'll be happy," the snow leopard said. Po walked over to the studio. It had a large spanning mirror with a bunch of mats, cycles, and smaller weights in the back. Grabbing a mat, he took a deep breath, calming the nerves boiling up in his palms. 

"It's okay, Po. It's just yoga. Nothing extreme. You don't have to-"

"Excuse me?" 

Po turned around and saw a black cat standing before him. "Oh! I'm sorry, I'm blocking the mats."

"No, no, it's okay. You're new here, right?" 

"I'm... new to yoga, yes."

"Great! I'm Emma. It's nice to meet you. We don't get that many guys in yoga," The black cat smiled. 

"Heh, I just don't want to creep people out or anything."

Emma rose her eyebrow with a small smirk. "Do you take pictures of women while they do their poses?"

"Uhhh no?"

"Do you try to sniff their clothes?"

"Uh no!"

"Can you keep your eyes on the instructor and not plant a camera device on one of the women?"

"Yes I can NOT be an absolute stalker! Geez, what kind of guys do you get?" 

"None," Emma smiled, "A lot of guys think yoga wouldn't be for them because it's a woman's thing. Like indoor cycling. I'm just glad you decided to join."

"I'm... sore so there's that," Po nervously chuckled. Emma's smile widened. 

"Why don't you sit by me? That way you can see my movements."

"I thought looking at anyone except the instructor was the first no-no," Po said. 

"Ahhh, you're paying attention." 

"I... really do try my best not to be seen as a desperate creep," Po smiled shyly. 

The black cat grabbed her mat and returned his grin. "You don't seem like a creep at all. You seem like a nice person."

"I'll try to keep that up," Po said. As she went to her spot, the panda could see her full form. She was much shorter, about a head and a half. She had a very short-stack figure, almost pear-shaped. Po's eyes drifted to her pink yoga pants stretching against a large set of hips. Emma wore a black tank top that matched her fur, but Po forced his eyes away from her rear. She was a bit lovably chubby around her midsection, but her hips slightly jiggled with each movement. They were bigger than her waist, that was for sure. 

Po quickly snatched his vision away and stared at the floor. Just in time for Emma to turn around with a smile. "Are you ready?" 

"Oh? Is this all?" Po asked, only seeing a few 50-60-year-old women coming in. 

"Yep, the perks of being with this yoga group," Emma smiled, "Want to stay?"

"Y-Yeah, sure," Po replied. The black cat grinned wider as she set up her mat. "And... the next crush has been set." Po stole another look at the cat's backside. "Uhhh maybe just... the next eye candy. Ugh. Alright, back to yoga." 

 

Chapter 7

The husky huffed and rolled her eyes after hearing the news. She drummed her fingers on the cafe table. "What is it with you and falling for felines? Why not get some bitches, huh?" 

Po laughed, "Of course, you're upset about that! Haha! Hey I don't bother you about your bears or heavy-set women." 

"I... like a little meat on my bones, that's all," Jessica murmured.

"I promise it's a coincidence. I had a crush on that white wolf for a time."

"Mia? What happened with that?"

Po shrugged. "It was brief. She's... too outgoing for my taste."

"Not a fan of the big crowds?" Jessica smirked. 

"Yeah, gets overwhelming," Po sighed with a smile. 

Jessica stuffed a slice of melon into her choppers, messily spilling some onto her T-shirt. Po rolled his eyes. Anyone else, he probably would've stared and tried to look away. But Jessica was... different. Maybe because she was family? "So, what are you going to do with this crush?"

"Eh, it's more of eye candy than a crush."

"Damn."

"I'm not saying she's a pleasure toy," Po interjected. "I just... I know how my... brain works. I'm physically attracted to her. I don't know anything else about her. But... I think I'm just gonna let her go. Be a friend, you know? Get to know her."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. I think I need to focus on myself rather than what someone else has to offer," Po sighed. 

The canine grinned, nudging the panda's shoulder. "So you're gonna do self-growth or some shit and you're doing... what with her?"

"Honestly, just look from afar. She's cool and kind, but I'm not falling for that trap again."

"Uh-huh. So what are you trying to work on?"

"I... I don't know," Po nervously chuckled, stuffing some bread into his mouth. 

Jessica shrugged, "Why don't you get some therapy?"

"ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!" Po choked, thumping his fist to his chest. "Wh-What?" He barked out.

"What?" 

"YOU want me to do therapy?" 

Jessica rose her eyebrow. "Yeaaahhh?" 

"You HATE shrinks!" 

"I don't hate them. I just hate the amount of crying," Jessica sighed, "Look, a while ago, I grabbed my big girl panties and I learned they can really help."

Po narrowed his eyes. "Did... one of your... special friends pressure you into therapy?"

"Po, you know more than anyone that no one could pressure me into anything," She smirked. "But seriously, you should do it. It might be good for you. It could help fight the shit you've been dealing with."

"Like what?" 

"I don't know. Just feels like you... have a lot you haven't told me," Jessica said. Po suspiciously eyed the husky up and down. He had known Jessica for a while and they were pretty close. What could she possibly mean? "For me, the start was a little problem, but it might be different for you."

"Therapy is notorious for being harder for men, you know."

"Why?"

"I don't know. The whole thing started because Freud was studying women, not men. Society worries more about women than me... I mean, men," Po sighed. 

Jessica leaned in closer and looked Po dead in the eye. "Then why do you care about what society says about you?" 

Po said nothing for a moment. He just stared into Jessica's fierce blue eyes, sighing. "You're right." 

"Do you want my help?" 

"... Yeah. Just so I don't flake out," Po said. His voice started to get raspy. The husky gently rubbed his back. 

"It's going to be okay, Po. You'll see. There's this great therapist on campus. Name's Dr. Gozin."

"Gozin?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I'll help you," Jessica smiled, "What are friends for?"

Po meekly smiled back at her and suddenly hugged her. "Thank you, Jessica."

"Anytime, Po. Anytime."

Time sped up more than Po wanted. It was already nearing the end of the Fall semester, and the freshman studied in his dorm while he could hear Monkey grumbling from atop his bunk bed. "You okay, dude."

"Nah, it's just... I have weird friends."

"Oooookay? How is that different?" Po asked. 

"Nah, it's just... one of my friends said they have this weird torture kink. He likes it when women slap him or scratch him to get him 'revved up'."

"Ahh," Po grimaced. He had heard of BDSM but this sounded close to abuse. 

"It just got me thinking," Monkey said, rolling out of bed. "Why are people into pain for pleasure?"

Po shrugged, "Sometimes when you can't feel much pleasure, you'll start feeling pain AS pleasure. I mean, people work out and that's pain, but it makes pleasure. But some people take that to an extreme because they can't feel normal pleasure anymore." 

Monkey raised his eyebrow. "Uhhhhh are you okay, bro? I didn't think you knew that much psychology." 

"It's... not that. I'm just... worried. I have this therapy session with a guy named Dr. Gozin."

"Oh snap!" Monkey said, excitedly jumping into his chair on the other side of the unified desk. "I know him. He's really cool, though... he can be... probing."

"So... he'll ask me a bunch of weird questions?"

"More like he'll read you like a book."

Po gulped, "That doesn't sound good."

"Don't worry about it, dude. He's fine. Trust me."

The panda took a deep breath, glancing at his phone. "Well if you and Jessica can vouch for him, that means the guy has to have some powers. Anyways, I have to get going."

"You'll be fine, Po. I promise," Monkey smiled. It wasn't like his usual cheeky jokester smile. It seemed genuine to the panda.

Po left the men's dorm and went to the admin building. It was a four-story building with the counseling services on the top floor. Further away from the noise and walking up the stairs, Po finally made it, huffing and puffing, to a long carpeted hall. He saw Dr. Gozin's white door and knocked on it. "Come in!"

"Hello? I'm Po?" 

"Ah! Yes, yes, come in, Po," Smiled a black goose. His office was cozy. A soft sofa stood on the opposite wall where Po sat down. Next to it was a box of little fidget trinkets that the panda picked up and started messing with. "Heh, I can tell you're nervous."

"Huh? Wow, Monkey was right. You can read me." 

Gozin chuckled, sitting down in his armchair, "I promise I'm not some magical all-knowing god, Po. I'm just very perceptive. Now, on the questionnaire, you mentioned you were having some personal issues like self-esteem." The panda nodded. "Do they have anything to do with insecurities or women?" 

Po's head jerked back. "Are... you sure you're not a mind-reader?" 

"I promise I'm not. I just wanted to avoid any brash conclusions."

"Well, yeah. I... I don't know. I guess I'm just... worried about this." 

"The session?"

"Yeah."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know. I keep expecting you to judge me or tell me I have some incurable disease," Po explained. Gozin tilted his head. 

"Have you had a bad experience with therapists in the past?" 

"No, you're the first one."

"What caused this view of therapists for you?" Po shrugged. "Do you think it has something to do with your self-esteem? Has anyone judged you before?"

"Not... directly."

"So this is something you've seen and thought it applies to you. Like you were living someone else's life?" 

"What do you mean?"

"For example," Gozin started, "If someone was maliciously being cheated on in a story and the person had similar traits to you, would you feel like something like that would happen to you?"

"Y-Yes!" 

"Ah, interesting. So what do you believe triggered this self-esteem issue? People you've met or social media?" 

"I... don't know. Both I guess," Po said, twiddling his thumbs. 

Gozin smiled, "It's okay not to be sure, Po. I'm only asking."

"I... just kind of feel naked." 

The goose's smile widened. "Honesty does make us feel vulnerable. You can be honest here. No one can fit a particular mold all the time. Unless you're susceptible to peer pressure." 

"Peer pressure?" Po asked. Dr. Gozin nodded. 

"How well do you think you stand up against peer pressure?"

"When it comes to school? Pretty well." 

"And when it doesn't? Like family, friends, or... potential love interests?" 

"Uhhh U... I don't..." Po sighed. A feathery wing gently landed on his shoulder. 

"Don't worry, Po. You've done a major thing by starting this process. Most don't ever try." 

"How long will it take until I'm better?" 

"First, we need to learn more about who you are. Then we can find a direction. Don't worry about time. The process is more interesting. Hard, but interesting," Gozin smiled. 

Po smiled back. "Thank you. I... I really needed this." 

Chapter 8

The next week, Po wiped the sweat off his brow while cleaning his yoga mat. "Did you like the session today, Po?"

"Hehe, I did. Thanks, Emma. I feel like I'm getting better." 

"I'm glad. By the way, what's your major?"

"English. You?"

"Undecided. But I- Shit." The sudden curse made Po snap his head towards the black cat. Her sharpened eyes stared out of the studio. Following the line of sight, Po saw a white polar bear coming. Before he could say anything, Emma said, "Hey, could we move this conversation somewhere else?"

"Uhhh sure." They quickly darted out a side door and out of the gym. Po looked back and saw the polar bear bow his head with a frown. Emma seemed to calm down as they stopped at the gym auditorium's front lawn. "What was that about?" Po asked. 

Emma sighed, "Sorry, that was my ex. I've been trying to avoid him, but he keeps 'showing up' even though I'm with another guy."

"Oh, you have a boyfriend?" Po asked. 

"Yeah."

"Huh."

"What's wrong?" Emma asked

"Nothing, I just... feel like a ship hit by a needle-sized torpedo." She was already in a committed relationship and that was fine by him. Strange, maybe he was growing? "Anyways, do you want to get some lunch? I'm hungry." 

"Hehe, sure," Emma smiled. "Sorry for interrupting you."

"No, you were the one talking," Po smirked as they walked to the cafeteria. 

"Oh. Um... There is a question I've been meaning to ask. Why did you start yoga?" 

The panda shrugged, "I needed the rest. Yoga helps me tone things out."

Among other things.

Walking by his side, Po glanced at Emma. He could see her side profile more obviously this way. A straight back with a bright pink sports bra, and a slight shelf to the wide curvy hips underneath her pink pants. Shaking his head, he smiled at himself. He couldn't be too self-critical. 

She was hot. Enough said. 

As they rounded the gym to get to the cafe, Po could see the polar bear from earlier heading to the pool. Po tilted his head. He was fit, tall, handsome, and didn't look that messy. "Hey, Emma. Can I ask a... personal question?"

"Shoot." 

"Why did you leave your ex?" Emma stopped and huffed, placing her hands on her broad hips. "Uhhh, sorry if it's rude, but-"

"No, no, it's just... he watches a lot of porn and it was a red flag for me." 

"O-Oh!" 

"Yeah," Emma sighed, "The thing is... I do still like him, but... I'm not a bimbo doll. I can't meet those expectations. So... when I found out, I... thought it was best that we see other people."

"Yeah, no, y-yeah. Th-That makes sense," Po stuttered.

Emma broadened her eyes. The bear's eyes were extremely white and wide. He shook as if he saw Satan himself. His hands clenched around on his backpack strap, and he swallowed loudly. "Po, are you okay?" 

"Yeah, yeah, just... a little tired. Umm... I think I'm going to go to the cafe and study, okay? Sorry."

"It-It's okay. Are you sure you're okay Po?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm... fine," The panda ran to the cafe leaving the black cat worried and confused. Po raced to the lunch hall and quickly grabbed a grapefruit and a bottle of water. He wasn't hungry. Strange. He usually ate when he was upset. He scurried into the mess hall and, taking one look, darted to the library. He blurred past the lobby and sat down in a study room to eat and work. This is normal, he thought, the rush and pace. 

But it wasn't.

His hand froze and trembled. Emma's words spun on a loop in his head. I can't meet those expectations. 

She was right. Unrealistic expectations were unhelpful, even if it wasn't porn induced. As Po flipped open a textbook, he strained his eyes to read, tried to power through the pain and tears that-

Po touched the side of his cheek. Tears? He shut his stinging eyes. Slamming the book closed, Po sat underneath the window looking into the study room, huddled like a little child.

He didn't move. He said nothing. A pause on his being rendered him completely lifeless and still.

Then. 

 "Why?" He whispered. "Why me? I could've been addicted to anything in the world, but it had to be... porn." 

He vividly remembered the start. A fateful scroll through the early unrestricted internet. A button click that did nothing to check if he was 18. Then women galore. Po's dad never had to teach him about the birds and bees. He already knew them inside and out. More and more tears drenched down Po's cheeks. His hands tried to wipe them clean, but it was no use. His tears refused to stop. "I... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Who he was talking to, he couldn't say. But guilt clawed his ribcage and pain tore through his chest. He breathed like he was breathing through hot ash. Vultures of shame and loneliness picked at his brain like carrion. Each bite they took made another statement ring in his ear: You're not worth anyone's time. Each tick of the clock made more and more hope slip by. Hope that he could ever be considered normal by anyone or everyone.

Or be worthy of anyone's love.

The worst part? This was a pleasure he wanted and hated. A life of paradox. For seven years, he had been struggling and looking. The writing being a healthy expression, or so he thought, or so he didn't? Po growled, clasping his hand to his throat. No one could know he was breaking. If that meant he'd choke himself into fainting, so be it. "I'm going to be alone forever," Po cried softly. "No woman should be with me." He lifted his head. The tears now streaming down his neck. "It... it hurts too many people. Why... why am I like this? Why? Why can't I stop? Why am I like this? I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry." 

For what seemed like an hour, the water trickled down his face. His jade eyes redder than usual. He looked up at the table. The grapefruit was still there. Taking a large sigh, he rubbed the wetness away from his eyes. "She's right. No woman should have to deal with that. None. I'm not dating until this is done with." He cut open the grapefruit and bit into its bitterness, cementing his commitment to the struggle ahead. 

Time moved on. As the end of the Fall semester approached, Po worked harder than he ever did. Or ever needed to. Besides taking on more work as Dr. Shifu's grader, he was studying more often, almost cementing his place as the library hermit. "Why the change?" Shifu asked. 

Po didn't bother move from his task of looking over the grades. He simply said, "I want to be a good worker. Isn't that enough?" 

The red panda stroked his chin but said nothing more. Po's shift ended and he went back to his dorm to study. And study. And study until he went to sleep. "Dude, aren't you going to-"

"No," Po answered Monkey. "I'm tired. Goodnight." 

"Uhh, goodnight." 

During lunchtime, Jessica walked into the cafeteria, wearing her skirt, fishnet leggings, and a black jacket over her white t-shirt when she saw an unusual sight. 

"Hey! Po!" Jessica rushed over to him, afraid he might disappear. "How have you been? I haven't seen you in forever."

"It's only been a few weeks, Jessica. I'm fine," Po muttered while hastily munching on his food. "I think I'm going to get another job." 

Jessica rose her eyebrow. "You're strapped for cash?"

"I don't want to rely too heavily on my parents. They did a lot to put me through school," Po said. The husky's eyes narrowed. To her knowledge, Po's parents weren't financially struggling. They lived decently and were good at saving for the panda's college fund. Why the sudden change? "Anyway, I have to go."

"Already?! Po, you just ate. Relax."

"Sorry, I have to go study with Viper." 

"Oh... okay," Jessica slowly said. The black and white bear was gone in a flash. Jessica nibbled on her claw; she always did that when she was worried. 

Shortly later, Po studied with Viper, exchanging some notes for their next class. "And I think that's it."

"Good," Po said, standing up to leave, but he headed in a different direction. 

"Uhhh Po, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"It's just... you're heading to the Chemistry study room," Viper said; the department buildings typically had smaller individual study rooms. "You usually study in the main library. Not the Chemistry room." 

"It's good to have some... other people to chat with. Helps me understand science better."

"I... see," Viper slowly replied. Staring a little longer at the panda with a worried eye, she left. Po worked on his Science and English assignments. As hard as it was at times, he was glad that he was getting work done. Much more than he ever thought possible. 

"But why did it have to be this kind of motivation?" Po grumbled. He looked at the clock. 10:00 pm. His eyes darted to the blackness just outside the window. When he was talking with Viper it was 4. Shaking off his shock, he went to his dorm. The night air felt tense and hungry to eat his flesh, even with numerous lights along the pathway. The panda rubbed his eyes and pushed his aching feet through the boy's dorm entrance. "I need to rest," Po muttered. 

But he didn't know how or with what. 

He made it to his dorm room where Monkey jumped clean out of his bed and ran to the panda. "Whoa, dude are you okay?" Po asked.

"Are you!" Monkey asked. "I thought you got attacked by someone. You're usually in bed way before me!"

Po cracked a smile. It was nice that Monkey cared. "I'm fine. Time just sped by. I was just studying."

"Are you sure you're okay, Po? Jessica asked me if you were alright. You've been acting a little strange, man." 

"I'm fine. Jessica's just worried over nothing. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

Po sighed, "As sure as I can be." 

The next day came a little slower. Po found time to do a yoga session that sped by a little too rapidly for his taste. As he put the mat back, he thought about some of his exercises. He liked using the gym more often and he could tell his strength was improving. But with everything going on, he could afford to do more endurance work. Maybe more-

"Ummm Po?" 

The sound of his name shook him out of the whirlwind of thought. He looked at the wide-hipped black cat. "Hm? Oh, hey Emma. What's up?"

"Are... you okay? You seem like you're in a hurry."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just studying and working. Trying to figure out my training schedule and stuff. And I have some projects I have to do. I haven't cleaned my clothes in a while." The last part wasn't a lie, but because of the hyperfixation of work, he finished a lot of projects by the end of the semester. 

The upward lift of Emma's eyebrow teetered between realms of worry and suspicion. "Are you sure you're okay? You seem... uh... down."

"Are you sure I'm down," Po smiled a bit. "You don't sound certain."

"I... I just mean that... you seem... soulless."

Po rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. I promise. 

"O-Ookay," Emma left the panda alone, though Po was certain her eyes were still worriedly looking at him. He shook his head. He couldn't be focused on that. He took his stuff and went to the dorm, grabbed his clothes, and went downstairs to the laundry room. This was a great place for a bit of sporadic focus. He could look at his books while interacting with people. As he loaded the washer and sat down at the table used for folding and pressing, two goats came in to change clothes. Po tried his best to tune them out. 

Until...

"Yeah, she's great and all but... dang I don't think I can keep up with Jessica."

"Really?"

"I mean... if we were to go at it, she'd leave me dry. The woman's a sexual beast."

Under normal circumstances, Po would've stormed up to the goats and shut them up. But this was actually the publicity Jessica liked. In her head, being a 'beast' meant people don't play around with you. A weird kind of respect. 

"She's not that bad, man," Said the other goat. Po couldn't remember if this goat had been with Jessica. "She's really chill." 

"You've dated her?"

"One night and trust me. She's not as wild as all that. She's pretty cool. Great friend too." 

"Why not keep her?" 

"Because I don't want my hand cut off," The goat laughed, "Jessica's not the kind of person you... 'keep'. More like, she lets you in her presence."

Po covered a laugh. It was true. Jessica did not play unless she wanted to. "Besides," The goat said, "She's not as... experienced in everything as you might think."

"She doesn't have a high count?"

"It's in the teens."

"WHAT?! A woman like that should have men AND women lining up!" 

Po's gut churned a little with the hum of the dryers. This was a weird kind of praise. He didn't know if it was disrespectful because Jessica would own this kind of thing, but he didn't know if they were idolizing her. Well, the one who hadn't been with Jessica seemed to. 

"But why didn't you stay around?"

The goat shrugged. "Jessica talks about sex very... casually. It sounds fun, but I got tired of the constant hard-ons. And no, you don't get completely used to it." Po stifled another laugh. He was right, but the panda was used to it. Probably because Jessica's tastes never really appealed to him. "If I wanted to talk about sex that much, I would just look at porn. She's nice, really, but just not for me."

Po smiled a bit. Most guys weren't as mature as this goat was. 

But suddenly, a thought crept into his head. "THAT'S IT!" Po exclaimed, shooting up to his feet. He fished around his wallet and threw twenty dollars to the goats. "Hey, you two. Can you watch my clothes? Here's some money, okay? I have to go real quick," Po rushed out of the laundry mat, leaving the two goats staring at each other with a shrug and raised eyebrow.

 

Chapter 9

"Alright, see you Molly," Jessica sighed, strapping the backpack over her shoulder as she exited the girl's dorm. She glanced at her phone. "Hopefully that's enough money to talk with Megan. Hmm. Nah, she seems straighter than-"

"JESSICA!"

"DAAH!" The husky snatched her phone just in time before it fell. "What the hell Po! You scared me to death!"

"Need to... talk," Po panted.

"Are you okay? Why are you out of breath?"

"Ran... laundry... 20 dollars... Look, I need to talk."

"Hang on there buddy. Why don't we take a seat?" Jessica suggested. There was an open picnic area next to the girl's dorm that was near the basement level. It was a little secluded and no one else was there, so they sat there. "Alright, what did you want to talk about?"

"How do you manage to talk with girls and guys? Like romantically... and sexually?"

Jessica smirked. "I just do."

"And they don't mind the fact that you watch porn and stuff?"

"Who says that I do?"

"You do," Po briefly smirked.

"Hey, it's not like I'm hurting anyone by it. Besides, I don't use any of that stuff. I just get ideas. That's all. It's all fake anyway."

"Ideas? For what?"

"Roleplay! You know how much corny stuff you can find there?"

Po rolled his eyes. "But... your dates don't mind... it?"

"They don't seem to mind."

"Why?"

"Why are you so worried?" Jessica asked. She leaned her elbows on the table. "What's wrong, Po? I haven't seen you around in the past few days and... I've been worried sick about you."

Po's eyes caught hers. Jessica's blue eyes always seemed to pierce through any kind of lie the panda could think of. Sighing, he leaned his elbows on the table, staring at the metal surface for some script he could use. When he couldn't find any, he said, "I've... I've been trying to get rid of something and... I don't know if I can... stop it."

He whispered so softly the husky could barely hear it. Po lifted his eyes. He saw the concerned worried eyes of his friend. He internally wished he could ease her, but he had no idea what to say. Silence bore on them heavily, halting escapes from the tension. The only comfort for Po was that Jessica wasn't judging him or even trying to use some kind of fake sympathy.

No, she was just silent. He really needed it. Just to know he was heard.

The husky smiled and rested her hand on his. "It's okay, Po. You're not alone."

"I'm pretty sure it's different for a guy than a girl with this stuff," Po sighed.

"No, it's not," Jessica sighed. "Everyone has stupid expectations. You know how that is."

"Yeah," Po sighed, looking at his belly. "I do."

"Hey, you're getting bigger."

"Thanks," Po muttered.

"No, I mean, you're getting stronger. Bulkier. I think that stuff with Tai Lung has been helping. Just don't get too deep into it. Don't want to lose that cute butt of yours."

"Heh, thanks Jessica. I appreciate it."

"And Po?" The husky rounded the table and sat next to him, hugging him tightly. "I've known you've been struggling with this since we were kids. I don't judge you for looking at it."

Po's eyes widened. "How... what do you mean?"

"Back during high school, You left it on your computer one time. I already knew what it was by then, but-"

"Oh my gods! I'm so sorry, I didn't-"

"It's alright, Po," Jessica smiled, "Like I said, I don't judge you for it. And the right person in your life isn't going to judge you either."

"I... I still want to get rid of it."

"And that's fine. I'd tell Dr. Gozin. But don't be too hard on yourself, okay?" Jessica smiled. Po felt water forming in his eyes. His breathing hitched as Jessica clung to him. He buried his head into her shoulder, and his body shook with each emotion hiccuping from his throat. His tears ran down to her leather jacket. Jessica pushed off the jacket to give Po a more comfortable landing. But she never let the panda go. "It's okay, Po. It's okay," the husky soothed.

"Thank you, Jessica," Po wept. "I'm sorry about the jacket-"

"Shh shh. Don't worry about that," Jessica smiled. Behind her tough bravado and cavalier sensuality, the husky was more of a mother type than Po gave her credit for. Slowly, the tears died down. Jessica gave him a tissue she had on hand. "Feel better?"

"Yeah... thanks."

"What made you tell me that?"

"Oh, I was washing my clothes and some goats were gossiping about you and-"

"Who's talkin' shit about me?"

"No, no they were talking about how much of a baddie you were," Po chuckled.

"Alright, continue."

"Anyways, one of them was asking what it was like to date you. Goats."

"Ah, must be Tyler. He was a good one though," Jessica said.

"Why did you guys break up?"

"I was friskier back then."

"Back then?"

"Hey!" Jessica playfully punched the panda's shoulder.

"But it sounds like the other goat wants to know if he has a chance," Po wiggled his eyebrows.

The husky laughed and screamed, "THE Po Ping trying to get me on a date! Ha! How times have changed."

"Yeah, but anyway, they're still looking at my clothes so I need to get back. Thank you, Jessica. I really needed this."

The husky gave one last hug and smiled, "Anytime Po."

A few moments later, Po went back to the laundry mat, looking at his phone to schedule the appointment for Dr. Gozin. When he got there, the clothes were neatly folded and stacked with the goats. "Wow guys, you didn't have to fold them. Thanks."

"Well, you're right, we didn't need to fold them," The goat said slowly.

"And we were going to finish our clothing early sooo maybe some more money is in the cards?" The other goat asked.

Po rose his eyebrow with a smirk. "Hmm, maybe I should just tell my childhood friend Jessica about some of your... comments."

"Wait, she's your friend?"

"Childhood friend," Po smirked. The goats' faces paled. "Don't worry, she's not bothered by it."

"You told her! Dude, I dated her!"

"Ah, so you're Tyler," Po smirked. "And you're..."

"L-Lee?" Said the other goat.

"Tell you what, I don't pay you more money, but I hook Lee up with a date with Jessica?"

"R-R-Really?!" Lee's eyes lit up.

"And I'm guessing you two split the 20, sooo how about you get the 20, Tyler, and Lee gets a date with Jessica? You think that's a fair offer?" Po asked Tyler. The goat thought about it for a while.

"Yeah, that works."

"SWEET!" Lee celebrated. Po chuckled and grabbed his things before leaving the laundry mat.

The next day, Po sat on the sofa of a goose counselor after explaining everything. Dr. Gozin stared at the ceiling, lightly tapping his pen on his bill. "And... how long have you been dealing with porn."

"Seven, eight years?" The panda sighed.

"Don't be ashamed of yourself, Po."

"Why? It hurts a lot of relationships, and I'm addicted to it."

"I know, but shame isn't always productive," Dr Gozin said. "In either case, I believe that, since this isn't a substance-dependent issue, taking a slow methodical approach will help. Don't overdo it with work. You'll burn out. Instead, create systems to manage your urges. Also, have a realistic goal that's outside of porn. What does life without it look like to you? This will help with the withdrawals."

"Withdrawals?"

"Some people have withdrawal symptoms. Same thing happens when people do a digital detox."

"But it's all in the head?"

"Yeah, but knowing that isn't gonna help," The goose explained.

Po sighed, "Why did this happen to me?"

"Don't worry about why. 'Why' doesn't always have a good explanation. Rather, look at how. How, when, and where does your temptation for porn germinate?"

"Uhh, for sleep really, and sometimes to relax. I mean, I never used it when I was stressed out, but when I was going to relax, I would look at it."

"Ahh, makes sense."

Po's head tilted. "It... does? I thought people use it to get rid of stress?"

"They do, but people also use it to make them feel better, even if they already are feeling good. Kind of like putting sprinkles on vanilla ice cream."

"Huh."

"But being mindful and those systems will go a long way. And talk to your friends about it, too. For accountability's sake." The goose crossed his legs a bit. "What started this... change?"

"Well... I... was taking a yoga class and there's this... girl that I have a crush on and... she talked about how her ex looked at porn and she saw that as a red flag and dumped him."

"And you think that will happen to you, too," Gozin asked. The panda slowly nodded. "Everyone has flaws, Po, like watching porn. Any flaw can affect a relationship."

"Really?" Po said doubtfully. "So people split because someone liked their action figures a little too much?"

"Yes," Gozin said seriously, "Someone's likelihood for stress can cause issues. Whether that's video games, work, play, school, passion, sex, substances, or even religion. Things affect us greatly when we're not aware of them. That's what can negatively affect relationships."

"Is it... possible to have a healthy relationship with porn?"

The bird lifted an eyebrow. "I... don't think that's the helpful question. Let's ask this one. Do YOU still want porn in your life?"

"No," Po said softly, "I... I want the good feelings but.... not the damage it causes. And... I want real sex. Real love. Real... hotness, I guess?"

Gozin smiled, "Then I think you'll have to cut it out, but that comes with time. Remember, this is a new journey you're taking. It's not the destination that's important, it's the journey."

Po smiled, feeling a little lighter about the trial before him. "Thanks Doc. C-Can I call you doc?"

"Of course," Gozin chuckled.

 

Chapter 10

Fall semester finally came to a close. Po spent the blissful Christmas break with his family. He reclined in his blue plaid bed, flipping through his phone until he grew a bit bored. He would've tossed it away if it weren't for the call. "Hello?"

"Hey! There's my favorite horny closeted panda."

"Jessica," Po groaned. 

"Okay, okay. I'll stop, Hehe. I'm just helping you get used to it. Humor helps."

"Uh-huh. Why do I feel you'll use this against me?"

"I'm not that bad, Po," Jessica said firmly.

"Hmm," The panda grumbled doubtfully. 

"How have you been? Sorry for not coming for Christmas. My folks wanted to go to Las Vegas and-"

"You know you could've stayed."

"And miss a chance to win it big at Blackjacks?! Hell no!" 

Po rolled his eyes. He glanced out the window where a slightly graying sky over a snow-covered suburban street held a weird quiet calm. The dimming sky made him yawn, "It's been good. It's... hard, though. I mean... this is the room where it all started."

"You mean... with the porn?"

"Yeah." Saying it more often helped him a bit. It made it feel more real, but also less threatening. 

"Hey... could I... ask something personal?"

"Uhh sure, it's not like you don't do that without my permission."

"Dude, I'm not that insensitive. I just... wanted to know.... how did it start for you?"

Raising an eyebrow, Po tilted his head and stared at the phone for a moment. "Why do you ask?"

"Uhhh, just... curious." 

There was a bit of hesitation and worry in her voice. Something a little... guilty? "Well, it started with a web search. Looking back, I probably should've told my parents what I found before, but... that didn't stop me. I think I was wondering what would happen if I put sexy in the search browser. You know, the internet was new back then."

"Yeah." 

"Anyways, that's really how it started. I'm not sure if that helped you."

"No, no," She sighed, a little relieved, "I was just... worried that I had a... hand in-"

"Oh! No, no, no, no! Heh, I didn't know how freaky you were until high school," Po laughed.

"... Really! That late?"

Po laughed louder. "Yeah, but if there was anything good that came from this is that I learned to write from that ordeal."

"Wait! This is why you started writing?!" Jessica exclaimed. 

"Yeah, there was this cool story wedged in the 'comment' section of one of the porn sites, and it took me to a fan fiction site for Lords and Ogres." 

"Wow! Was it good?"

"The story or the porn site?" 

"Po."

The bear chuckled, "Yeah, the story wasn't finished, but I looked around the site and I liked a lot of their stories. But they weren't the stories I wanted to read."

"So... you just started making your own?" Jessica guessed. 

"Yep," Po's smile gradually grew into a smaller grin. "Hey, Jessica. Thanks for not judging me about this. It... really helps."

"Hahaha! Po, I'm the very last person who gets to judge anyone. But I'm glad I could help. I know how tough this stuff is."

"You do?"

"I've dealt with addictions too."

"Really?"

"You're not alone, Po. Just remember that," Jessica said sincerely, "Now that that's cleared out of the way, I get to ask my real question. What kind of shit you into?"

"Oh no My mom's calling me," Po lied with a tone of voice that couldn't be believed, "I have to go. I'll see you later."

"Come on, Po!" 

"Sorry, can'... he.. I... we..." He hung up the phone. He couldn't help the small chuckle coming out of his throat. He would've relaxed into the bed, but then his mother actually did call. 

Christmas Break was over much faster than Po expected. Before he knew it, he was in his dorm room struggling over a familiar problem for all creatives. The blank page. "Ugh," Po grumbled. "Ughh this is hard."

"Are you going through a breakdown, man?" Monkey asked from his top bunk.

"No, I'm just... having a hard time thinking clearly," Po muttered. Was this withdrawal? He didn't think it would affect his creativity. He had heard that creative people usually had addictions. He could see why.

"Heh, maybe you have a girl on your mind?" Monkey joked. 

"Actually, I haven't been thinking about girls lately."

"Really?"

"Yeah, none at all."

"Is that good?"

"In my case, yeah. It is," Po smiled, "Gives me a break from trying to find one."

"Why you say that?"

"I've been... so distracted by them that I... I haven't had any time to actually enjoy my life. I don't know," Po grabbed his backpack and put on some shoes. "I think I'm going to get out and clear my mind."

"Call me if you have a girlfriend."

"I will," Po smirked, rolling his eyes. He walked up the campus's hill and passed the admin building. His aimless feet took him to the Student Center. Walking through double glass doors, a large two-story open lobby opened up. The Student Center's bean-shaped structure had a bunch of glass-paned offices on the second floor. To his immediate left on the first floor was the game room and a small study area. A couple of private bean bags and pods were in the far-off corner. In front of him was a large metal slide that swirled around; a large elephant came out of its shoot from the second floor. A big floorboard of chest stood to the near right side of Po where he saw a familiar big-hipped black cat.

With a white bear.

"Hang on," Po murmured. He carefully walked up to the seemingly happy pair just as the polar bear left to get them something to eat from the food shop nearby. "Hey Emma."

"Po! Hi. How are you doing?" she smiled grandly. 

"I'm... uh... fine. Ummm hey, isn't that your... ex?" 

The black cat's eyes widened then she sighed, "It's... been a lot lately."

"Something I should be worried about?"

"No, no, it's just... he decided to get serious about his porn problem and joined an AA program. He's been doing much better and... after hearing him out and what he goes through, I... kind of felt bad for him."

"So you're doing this out of-"

"No! I'm not pitying him," Emma glared, placing her hands on her wide hips. "It's just... he's been trying to do a better job ever since we first dated. It's just... when I found out, I... immediately thought he saw me like those online bimbos."

"So... you thought he was worse than he actually was. And you were afraid he would only get worse?" 

"I... guess," Emma sighed, "Either way, it was wrong of me to simply throw him away because he was truly struggling."

Po internally grimaced a bit. Was it wrong? Many addicts needed to hit rock bottom to want to change, or at least get started. It wasn't wrong for Emma to not want baggage she didn't feel ready for.

But was Emma right to simply drop him without hearing him out? Probably not, but the panda was in no position to judge. He looked over to the polar bear, getting their meal. 

"Does... he think you're doing the right thing?" Po asked. "I mean, what led you back to him?" 

"He was... talking with some girls and-"

"Ahhhh," Po smirked. 

"Stop it," Emma blushed. "Yeah, I was jealous. And... when I saw him he looked different. More... sure of himself. When we dated, he was always shy and worried I'd leave him because he felt like he was less of a man." 

"Heh, I see," Po chuckled more out of deep understanding. 

"I know he's surprised I want to be with him again, but... this time he's... a little bolder. Better. It's hard to explain."

"No, no, it's... I get it," Po smiled. "But... knowing what you know, why go back to deal with that baggage?" 

Emma shrugged. "Everyone has baggage. Some big, some light. It's all about what's in the bags. And... He's not expecting me to carry his bag for him. He has people for that. He's really changed. And... honestly, I'm not any better."

"Pardon?"

"It's not like I don't have a bunch of shirtless bear pictures from my teen years."

"Uh oh, do I have to worry?"

"Po."

"Kidding. Kidding," The panda smiled. "I'm glad you two are back together, though. It's... encouraging." Po looked over to the chess mat where a game started between a sparrow and a penguin. He pulled out a small notebook and jotted something down. 

"You look better, Po," Emma said, knocking the panda off his focus, "You don't look so serious."

"It was just... stress."

"What are you writing?"

"Hm? Oh, just a story idea."

"You write?"

"Yeah."

"What kind?"

"All kinds?"

"Why?"

"Because it's... my major?" Po smirked. "Honestly, it's kind of my therapy. It helps me figure out what's going on in my head."

"Well, it was nice to catch up with you. I hope I'll see you at yoga again."

"Heh, hopefully," Po smiled, though the panda thought that maybe, out of respect for her boyfriend, some distance would be good for them. Waving her goodbye, Po went back to the dorm and started working again. 

The waning daylight brought a nervous twitch in Po's foot. He bounced his leg as the words in his textbook bounced around before his eyes. The panda rubbed his head. Slowly, the pen in his hand began to shake. He felt tired after a few minutes. Tired from fighting himself. "Grr. What's wrong with me?" Po shook his head. He could guess why. Sexy ideas flew in and out of his head. He tried to block the flow, but they pressed harder. He glanced at the clock. 5 pm. "I need to work out." Changing his clothes, he raced over to the gym and went through the workout Tai Lung gave him: A routine of bench press, leg press, leg curls, pulldowns, and some crunches. Grunting and grinding, the panda almost went to muscular failure, feeling his body give up on him on the last rep. 

But his head still raced with thoughts of caving in. Of throwing in the towel. "UGhh! I need to get this stuff off my mind! Maybe I should just do so more stuff," Po griped. So, he decided to add some running.

And some biking.

And some rowing. 

Sweat dripped down all the way to his feet and soaked his clothes. As he painfully trudged to his dorm, his legs ached in places he never knew they could. Was that his quads hurting or his hamstrings? He couldn't tell. Every step hurt his core, and lifting his shoulders burned. He slumped all the way to his dorm as the sun setted. Finally, dripping his sweaty hand on the doorknob, he opened it. His simian roommate jumped right out of his chair at the sight of a sweaty dead zombie of a panda moaning his way in. "Whoa! Dude! Are you okay?"

"Shhh. Shower, then sleep." 

Monkey only opened the door to the bathroom and watched the deathly wearied panda walk into the shower. A short while later, the panda drudged out and went to bed, not even bothering to clothe himself. 

At least I didn't cave, Po thought as he went into a deep sleep. 

 

Chapter 11

Viper slithered into her spot for the pre-lab session. That's when Po slunk in along the wall, grunting his way into the seat. "Po! What happened?"

"Ahh! N-Nothing," Po grimaced with a smile. Using his sore-ridden legs, he slowly descended into his chair. Viper could've sworn she saw a tear drip down his face. "Ahhhh," He whimpered in a high-pitched voice. "I... just worked out really, really hard."

"So you're sore?"

"My body is sore, my brain is sore, my emotions are sore, my soul is sore. I'm so sore that I'm sure my future kids are feeling this pain because I feel it in my tenders!"

Viper tried her best to cover her laugh but failed. "Why did you work so hard? I didn't think you were the type to overtrain."

"I'm not," Po grunted.

"Does it have anything to do with Fall semester?"

"Huh?"

"You were really serious about work near the end of the last semester."

"Oh! That. No, I was just... trying to get my life together."

Viper tilted her head. "Wow, you don't seem like the kind of person to... be a mess."

"But I am," Po sighed heavily. "Anyway, I'm just trying to beat a bad habit of mine."

"Writing?"

"N-No," Po muttered.

Then the kind snake's face turned into a twisted horror. "Po, you're not on... drugs are you?"

"No No! I'm... it's something else. Don't worry, I'm not in any danger."

"I'm... sorry. I didn't know. I'm sorry for reacting like that, it's just... I don't want someone like you to deal with that alone," Viper said.

Po looked at the snake for a while. Her concern seemed a little too... close to home. "Have you been through this before?"

"Long time ago. A friend of mine went down that path. It... was probably the most stressful time of my life. I'm not here to judge you or anything I just... I don't think I can see someone go through that pain alone again," She said softly.

Po's eyes widened. He didn't think someone as kind as Viper could know that level of pain. The panda sighed. Then again, he knew that level of pain. "I wanted to be in Chemistry because I want to develop a drug that stops that from happening to people."

"That's... kind of ambitious, don't you think?" Po asked. He gulped at her serious serpentine glare.

"A person's life is always worth being ambitious."

"I-I-I'm sorry."

Viper sighed, "Don't be. I'm sorry for scaring you."

"It's okay. I guess I'm learning that... you're more understanding than I thought," Po smiled. "But... you definitely help me forget about my pain."

"Heh, thanks. And you're welcome."

"Come on, we have a lab to get to."

After the lab, Po decided to study in the library. As he passed the circular lobby and painfully grunted up the stairwell, he went into the quieter second floor filled with rows and lanes of books. He passed four or five of them before finding a seat next to a large window where he could stop and study. "Ugh, there. Now I can work."

Some projects this year were a bit delayed and he had to play catch up. For the first few minutes, his locked-in eyes carried him through the most difficult parts of the projects. But soon, his brain became restless. Po bounced his foot, struggling to keep his focus on the task at hand.

But nude photos started flickering across his mind. He thought he would make a crick in his neck if he kept shaking it. Upon the twelfth head shake, he grumbled and gave up on focusing. Switching to his journal, he wrote everything. His feelings, his struggles.

It feels like, he wrote, I need to rip out my own head, pry it open, and fish out all the years of nude photos and videos swimming around. At times I've thought of cutting off my own cock. I mean, would anyone miss it? It's not like I'm really worthy of someone beautiful. It's not like-

He stopped there. It was getting more depressive the more he wrote. A bad sign. 

"Fuck," Po grunted in a deep voice. He glared at the non-reflective white wall. Grabbing his things, he marched out of the library. He traveled back to the dorm but stopped briefly. A thought told him not to go. Maybe he should go hang out with friends? Maybe doing something like that would relax him? But his mental vision narrowed as he crossed the threshold to his room. He knew Monkey would be out. Tossing his backpack to the ground, he glanced at his phone, gripping it tightly.

How long was it? Four days? It felt like every itch in his body was running rampant. Like he had energy for days.

But that was the problem. All he could think about was the sites he wasn't looking at. The content he was missing. The fear of missing out. On what? Po grumbled at that mental question. He knew he wasn't missing anything, but he said, "Maybe I could look at it without jerking off."

He lied to himself. Sitting on the bed and closing the bedcurtains, he sighed, watching the familiar women dancing about like bouncing balloons. His hand drifted down to his pants with toilet paper in hand; easier to flush down the toilet than have a stack of tissues piled around.

It lasted about 30 minutes. Relieved and yet vaguely angered, Po cleaned himself up, flushed the shame down the porcelain throne, and stormed out of his dorm room. He stopped at the men's dorm lobby. A few tables and sofas were around for guys to hang out. Plopping into one of those sofas, he grabbed his journal from his backpack, fighting back rage-filled tears, and wrote in erratically fast handwriting. The first words were ones he felt would be written again and again for the rest of his life.

I messed up today.

Several hours later, the panda wandered the campus, slowly kicking almost every pebble his feet could find on the afternoon promenade. He felt dualling emotions. He loved and hated the fact he felt like he had clarity. He was relieved and pissed that he gave in. Shoving his hands into his sweatpants' pockets, he grumbled his way over to the gym. He was still sore, but maybe just being around people would be better than sitting in his room fueling his guilt.

Po struck his fist to the side of his head. "You idiot! Why did you- No, no. I'm not going to blame myself. I... UGGGAAAAHHH!" The panda dragged his fingers down his face. Passing through the doors of the gym, he fished out his phone. He paused, looked around, and looked at his browser just to make sure he deleted everything. Breathing a sigh of relief, he began scheduling an appointment with Dr. Gozin. Maybe he could help.

Once he passed the receptionist's desk, the weightlifting and exercise studio stood to his right. The pool and auditorium for basketball and other sports was to his far right. Po sat down in the gym lounge. The lounge stood in a long hall on the left wall, and the other wall sectioned off the pool area; it was a nice quiet area for students. Po, seeing a few people, sighed and sat down at one of the chairs. The locker room for the pool came out into the lounge. Just as Po sat down, he saw a familiar white lion step out of the locker room. Their eyes met and she smiled widely, "Po, how are you doing?"

The panda sighed, "I'm fine." He didn't even bother to take another look at the feline's slimming bathing suit that sweetly hugged her ample bosom. "Going for a swim?"

"Actually, just finished. I wanted to make sure the smoothie stand was still open. How have you been?"

"Heh, I honestly don't know," Po smiled wearily, "Last semester was hard. Just having some... rocky adjustments."

"Oh, sooo are you done avoiding me?" Kayla asked.

"What do you mean?"

Kayla rolled her eyes, "Po. It's obvious that you weren't talking to me. You were even avoiding Jessica from the sound of it."

"Oh, Jess didn't tell you?"

The feline glared, "She's not gossiping about your personal life."

Po smirked, "Oh, I just wanted to make sure you had enough space for your baby."

"Ohhh no," Kayla laughed, "Not this again. I said sorry."

"And I said I'm still wondering if I'm joking," Po smirked almost sinisterly. "To be honest, when you told me you were kidding, I immediately had to remind myself that murder was wrong unless it was in self-defense. So either way, I was in the clear."

"Self-defense of what?!"

"My emotions!" Po exclaimed, watching the lioness laugh.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was... pushing you away."

"Nah, to be honest, I was just trying to get over my crush on you," Po said.

"Oh! Uhhh Ohhh," Kayla stuttered. That once teasing confidence swiftly blew away before the panda's eyes. "I... I didn't know. I'm... sorry. I guess my jokes didn't help."

"No, no. It was an honest prank. But it did show me we were better as friends. Sorry if this makes things awkward."

"No, it's fine. I... I just... didn't know that's why you were staying away," Kayla hung her head a bit. "I'm sorry I couldn't-"

"Kayla, it's not that bad. Besides, you only see me as a friend, right?" The lion nodded. "I had to realize that. And it was also a bunch of other stuff in my life that was... making me a hermit."

"Well, thanks for telling me," Kayla said with a sincere smile. "I'm surprised you just said it so... bluntly."

Po shrugged. He tended to get blunt and crass after he masturbated.

The large bear tilted his head and stared at Kayla. "Uhhh Po, you're staring at me again."

"There's a freckle on your nose."

"Re-Really? Wait, I don't have-"

"Made you look," Po chuckled, "No, I was just wondering. Do you... know how to get rid of certain habits?"

"Ahh, I'm not your girl for that," Kayla laughed, "I'm highly addicted to art and my phone. Sorry."

"Don't worry, I think I know who to ask," Po said, rubbing his chin.

"Well, I should get my smoothie before they close. It was nice talking to you, Po. You... helped me realize something."

"I did?" The lioness nodded. "Uhh, you're welcome. You helped me understand some stuff too," Po smiled. The lion smiled back and headed for the smoothie shop right next to the lockers. The panda rubbed his chin again. "I wonder what she would say," He mumbled to himself.

 

Chapter 12

They were in the Science building when he asked. The snake blushed a bit. Po was confused. He just asked if she knew anything about breaking habits, and yet here the snake was shyly looking away. "Well, I know someone who could help you."

"Really? Who?"

"His name is Crane. He's a psychology major. He's specializing in stuff like that."

"Oh, are you guys friends?"

"Oh no, I've only met him once or twice. But here's his phone number and email address. He's usually at the psychology building around this time," Viper explained.

Po paused hard. He slightly pouted in thought. Viper's wide blue eyes darted away from the jade eyes staring at her. "What?"

"Do you like him?"

"Wh-What? No, I just...uhhh. Why do you say that?"

"Because if you've only met him twice, how do you know his schedule, phone number, email address, and why he's doing his major?"

"I... listen well?" The snake could see the panda's small smirk wasn't buying her story. "Okay, okay, yes. I... like him."

"Why don't you just tell him?"

"I... I'm not answering that," Viper hastily said. "Anyway, he should be at the psychology building now."

"Oh, so you stalk him?"

"Oh like you don't know what your crushes' routines are like."

"Hey! But... touché," Po sighed. He knew he couldn't say anything, especially since he still kinda knew what Song's favorite restaurant was. "Thanks. I'll mention that you sent me."

"Oh! Uhhh thanks," Viper smiled nervously. Po smiled. Was he like this with his crushes? Shaking his head, he packed his things from their study session and walked out of the science building over to the psychology building. It was newer in comparison, though smaller, with a bunch of minor lecture rooms. On the second floor was a little library where both psychology and the teaching majors worked. Among books that reminded Po of the children's area at his home library, there were several teacher supplies: Border paper, construction paper, rulers, and puppets. On the far end was a long large window looking over the entire campus. Near the window was a bird standing over a table, looking at some piles of research papers.

"Uhhh hey? Are you Crane?"

The tall bird turned and lifted his red-feathered head (I know it's different in some of the movies and featurettes, moving on) "Oh! Uhhh hello. Who are you?"

"I'm Po. I was wondering if I could pick your brain for a moment."

"Is this for research purposes or-"

"Personal research," Po sat down. "I'm not interrupting, am I?"

The bird sighed, "No. I was looking for something for my thesis, but... I don't think I'll find it here. Uhh how did you find me?"

"Oh, Viper said you would be here."

"Viper?! Biochem major?" Po nodded. Crane slightly narrowed his eyes and awkwardly cleared his throat. "How... how do you know her?"

"We're lab partners."

"You're-"

"Po. English major."

"Oh," Crane said with a lot of relief.

"Do you like her?"

"What?! No, I just... wanted to know."

Po smirked slightly, "You're sounding pretty lovestruck."

"Just... what's your question?"

"Well, do you know anyone that's familiar with addictions, habits, and stuff like that?"

Crane raised his eyelid a bit higher as he sat down. "Actually, I'm hoping to specialize in that, so I could give you some of the basics. But I think you could get some more info from a counselor on campus. His name is-"

"Gozin?"

"Uhhh yeah. You have him?"

"Yeah," Po smiled a bit. "But tell me what you know about these habits."

Crane chuckled lightly, "Well for starters addictions aren't really habits. Habits are automatic things done repeatedly. Addictions are more severe habitual behaviors that is defined by an uncontrolled and compulsive need to engage in the behavior despite the negative consequences. And no, this isn't exactly like a phone addiction."

"You sound a little upset about that," Po mentioned.

The bird sighed a bit harshly. "People water down words. If you like things clean, you're OCD, even though people with true OCD would clean until their fingers bled."

"Eee," Po winced, unconsciously shaking his fingers from the phantom pain.

"A non-substance addiction will have similar behaviors to substance addiction, but it's vastly different. One has to be hospitalized, the other 9.5/10 will have a bad time sleeping for a while."

"How do you get rid of them?"

"Well, many people have addictions because it's helping them avoid other things or feelings. People who are anxious or depressed might use porn to get away from it. It's escapism."

"From pain?" Po added.

"Yes. The brain doesn't like pain, especially when it's stressed or in bad shape."

Po rubbed his chin and leaned his elbows on the table. "So... how would you get someone off their addiction?"

"Depends. On the addiction and the person. Everyone can follow principles, but the details are going to be different for each person." The bird scanned the panda up and down. "Why are you asking? Do you have someone you're worried about or-"

"He's addicted to video game," Po quickly said the prepared statement.

"Well, first and hardest is admitting you're addicted. Second, knowing all the withdrawal symptoms will help you mentally prepare for them."

"And then cold turkey."

"Maybe, maybe not. Some people work better when you gradually reduce the addiction, others work best with cold turkey. But you can't resist it like a strong-arm contest. You're gonna relapse, you're gonna binge, but it's important to get back up. Recovery is a journey, not a destination. If you're trying to escape something, try being present with it. Then there's accountability."

Po winced internally. "You mean... telling someone? Can't you get rid of addiction without that?"

"No," Crane said grimly. "It's like... losing weight. People don't realize how much they're eating until they track it. You have to have some accountability. Then, and this is important, have a journal or mindfulness routine."

"Why?"

"Being present is the best way to learn why you have the addiction. Learning to sit with the discomfort helps reduce the urge and desire for the addiction. Porn for example, you might learn that it makes you emotionally numb to help with tough situations, it's used as a reward, or it helps you get rid of your existential boredom."

"The... what?"

"Look it up," Crane chuckled a bit. "The more you learn about yourself, the more you learn how to curb it."

"That... sounds like a lot," Po sighed.

"It is, but you have to accept it. Otherwise, you're just lying to yourself. I hope that helps your... friend."

"It... does. I didn't realize how heavy this was. Why is that?"

"People don't like thinking that something's wrong with them. And if they do, they think they'll suffer forever," Crane sighed.

"What... should my friend be aiming for, though? I know he says he feels lost sometimes."

"Aim for a fuller life. Addiction is a narrowing of pleasure, Tunnel vision. Doing things that get us in the 'flow' engages us, makes us present. They give meaning to us."

"Heh, I didn't think you were such a poet," Po smirked, "I'm sure Viper would like it."

"What I... Uh... am I that obvious?"

"Not to her. You should try asking her out."

"When the time is right."

"Trust me," Po said seriously, "There's never a right time. There's just the time you start."

"Heh, I guess you're right," Crane sighed, standing back up. "Thanks, Po. I think you helped me with my thesis."

"Really?"

"I was trying to do something that was well-researched, but... nothing interested me. I guess I should start looking into what I want to do and see if there's anything there."

"And if there isn't?" Po asked.

Crane smiled, "You can't be scared of what you don't know. Just like with addiction. You can't be scared of what a good life would look like."

Po didn't say anything for a moment. He simply stared at the bird and smiled. Standing up, he shook Crane's wing and walked back to his room.

Later on that week, Po sat on the sofa that he believed was starting to get his butt print. He explained to the goose what Crane had said. Gozin thought about it for a moment. "Writing might help you in this regard. Sometimes, writing about ourselves gives us a clearer picture. Of course, that's more of a by-thought."

"By-thought?"

"I'm sure you don't write about this stuff just to understand the meaning behind them," Gozin smiled. Po felt his head shrinking into his shoulders. "But you can't force self-reflection to hit you all at once. You have to take it bit by bit."

"I... guess," Po sighed. "It's a lot."

"I know, which is why I tell you to do this bit by bit. And it's okay to rely on your friends. They might help you get through this and learn a little more about yourself," Gozin said.

The panda took a deep breath and stood up, smiling, "Thanks Doc. I really appreciate this. I'll... try not to punch myself in the gut too much."

"Heh, that's all I ask," Gozin smiled.

Po went downstairs and out of the administration building. He thought a bit about what the goose said when he saw a familiar black and white husky storming across the pathway. "Hey, Jessica?"

"What?!"

"Sheesh, I only said hey. What's the matter? You look pissed."

The husky snorted, "I am pissed. I just got dumped."

"The goat?"

"No, we weren't each other's type. No, I mean this other guy I've been sleeping with."

"Wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa," Po's hands formed a time-out sign, "You've been having sex with these people?"

"You haven't?"

"NO!"

Jessica rolled her eyes. "It's not like I do it with every girl or guy you see me with Po. But... this guy... I don't know, I liked him but... things got weird when I sprung up the idea of oral sex. He said it was a deal breaker for him."

"Him eating you?"

"Me blowing him."

"Oh!" Po said, genuinely surprised.

"I don't know," Jessica said, crashing onto a nearby bench. "Maybe I'm not good enough for him to do that. Whatever."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now, we're not switching places here," Po said, "You know that's not true, Jessica. You're good enough. Some people just have different tastes. I'm sure there are things you don't like doing in bed."

Jessica smirked, "Really? Try me."

"Anal."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The husky shivered like a leaf and groaned. "Please never EVER mention that again! UGH!"

"Huh, I thought you would've tried it once."

"I did," Jessica grumbled, "All the lube in the world can't get me to do that again. But I get your point."

"You're enough, Jessica. You know that," Po smiled. His mind flitted back to what Gozin said. He couldn't be saying all of this if it didn't apply to him as well. He sighed. 

"What's wrong?" Jessica asked. 

"Nothing, just... feeling a little hypocritical. OW!" Po flinched from the husky's punch.

"You're enough, too, Po. Don't forget that," Jessica smirked.

"Thanks, my bruise and I will remember. Ouch, you hit hard," Po muttered.

"Oh don't be a big baby. You've been lifting. You should be able to take a kick to the gut from me."

"Uhhh no! That's not how strength training works!" Po whined. The smile on the husky reassured him. At least she was feeling better.

Time passed on. School slowly placed people in different silos, only to be brought together for lunch, play, or school events. It was the middle of the Winter semester, and the break was coming up for Po. The panda's talks with Gozin helped. Po felt happier. Less self-critical. In that time, Po also grew to become Crane's friend, picking his brain on addiction research and the mind. The mind was interesting, especially to a writer like Po.

"No, there is no way for clairvoyance to be a thing, Po," Crane sighed.

"Just asking," the panda innocently said.

Of course, Crane being Po's friend also meant the panda would drag the bird outside of the psychology building a bit more often, much to Viper's delight who just so happened to be outside of her science building during those times.

Soon after Jessica's break up, she got into a new relationship. Monkey also got into a new relationship, which caused him to be outside of the room more often. Besides the normal temptation, Po found himself glaring at the top of the bunk bed with a new kind of feeling. "Damn it," He sighed and got into his sweatpants, t-shirt, and gym gloves he got to stop the callouses. He walked to the gym, passing the field between the dorms that seemed to flood with couples. Po shook his head and just before he opened the gym doors, he heard a call.

"Po! There you are." The panda turned and saw a familiar buff-looking snow leopard.

"Hey, Tai Lung."

"You here for training?"

"Yeah," Po sighed.

"What's up?"

"Nothing just... it feels like everyone's in love right now."

"Ah, feeling lonely?" Tai Lung said sympathetically.

"Yeah, but... I know I shouldn't be thinking like this. It's just hard to ignore."

The two of them walked through the front doors. "Why don't you focus on yourself? You'd be surprised how we mess up our own stuff."

"Like an addiction?"

"Most addictions cover up other things. Life issues, parent problems, insecurities."

Po narrowed his eyes. "How do you deal with them?"

"Face them, learn about them, observe them like you would observe someone else. Be honest with yourself."

"You've done this before?"

"Sure, it's part of the reason why I went for Song. She's actually not the kind of person I'd go for, but I saw her for who she was, not what I wanted her to be."

"Huh, focus on being a better person," Po murmured thoughtfully. The large snow leopard patted his back.

"Worth a shot. Just don't be too hard on yourself," Tai Lung smiled. The two of them walked into the weightlifting arena and started warming up. They heard a loud clanging that made Po turn his head. Over by the free weight area were two squat racks. One of them was occupied by a large muscular lioness deadlifting. She looked taller than Po by half an inch, and the black sports bra held more muscle than breast flesh. Her back rippled with muscles as her thick shapely rear covered by black shorts flexed to help lift the weight. A darker tan of dreads swooped down one side of her head. She let the weight down and stood up, revealing her mid-riff and her hard abs.

"Don't."

"Dahh! What, what are you-"

"Don't even think about it," Tai Lung said again. "I know you're already crushing for her."

Po pouted. "You know me too well. But... why?"

"Just... that's Nora. Strong silent type."

"I was just looking."

"That's how crushes usually start out," Tai Lung said.

"Why are you so worried?"

"Because I'm worried she might crush you. Physically and emotionally... mostly physically. She can be... blunt and she has a... difficult personality."

"You've talked with her?"

"No."

"Then how can you say that?"

Tai Lung couldn't answer. Po took another look at Nora from afar. A serious stare on her face gave the impression she never wanted to talk with anyone in her life. Her arms, though smaller than Tai Lung's, still rippled with defined muscles. Po sighed and threw up his hands. "But I'll listen to you, okay? Let's get back to training."

"Great! Now, how well can you do Bulgarian split squats?" The snow leopard grinned almost evilly.

A while later, a sore panda stumbled out of the gym, mentally cursing the spotted cat for making him go through the whole ordeal. "One of these days, I have to take a course in weight lifting. I can't keep relying on Tai Lung like this. He's gonna kill me."

The sun started its disappearance over the western sky. The growing darkness contrasted with the orange, pink, and red sunset growing on the horizon.

"Fuck, where is it?"

Po heard a hiss towards the parking lot on his right. He saw a familiar lioness fish through her duffle gym back for something. He looked down at the ground and saw, reflecting the parking lot floodlight, car keys. Picking them up, Po took a deep breath and walked up to the tall lioness.

Her arms looked firmer and larger up close. Po also didn't notice how thick her thighs were. The muscularity was popping out through the gym shorts.

"Ahem," Po cleared his nervous throat. The glaring lion looked up from her bag. "Uhh, I think these are yours."

"Hm, thanks."

"Uhhh, could I ask... who are you?"

She scoffed, "Why? You want to date me?"

Po blinked. "That's... uh... I'll be honest, I don't know."

Nora stopped herself and looked at the panda, though her serious glare didn't change. "What?"

"Well, I don't know who you are, what you do, or what you're like. All I know is that you look... are very strong and... look like you want to pummel me if I say something wrong. Heh, heh."

Nora rolled her eyes. "I guess I have a resting bitch face."

"It's more of a... resting... kill face."

The lion finally showed she had smile muscles by smirking, "You're funny. I'm Nora. I'm sure the spots guy already told you that."

Po narrowed his eyes. "You... heard us?"

"Don't need to. I know what people think I look like."

"A bodybuilder?"

"A dude," She sighed loudly, making Po notice the size of her bosom. Though muscular around the chest, she still had soft-looking mounds hidden underneath her bra. Shaking his head slightly, the panda shrugged.

"Eh, you still look like a woman to me. A very awesome and powerful one, too. So guys have different tastes in women. I'm sure you have your tastes in men... or women."

"Just men."

"Just... didn't want to step on any toes."

"And yet you're stepping on a lot of feet. Heh, it's cute though," Nora smirked, crossing her large arms.

"Oh uhhh thanks," Po stuttered. "I'm... Po by the way."

"Nice to meet you, Po." She extended her hand. The panda shook it, surprised by the softness. "Don't be afraid to talk to me if you need some training pointers." She smirked one last time at him before hopping into her car and driving away just as mysteriously as she came.

 

Chapter 13

The husky grumbled, greatly annoyed. "Seriously! What's with you and these cats!"

"Shut up!" Po laughed. "But I'm serious. I don't know why I like her. I mean... she's definitely the kind of girl that could kick my ass."

"That's... not hard, Po."

"Hey!"

"I'm being realistic," Jessica smiled, "Other than the strength training, you're not trained in fighting. But I can't really see the appeal."

"What? In bulky women?"

"Gym girls in general," Jessica griped. "Some of them can be prissy little shits, if you're not careful."

"Is that why most of your girls are big-boned?"

"There's more to love. Is that such a crime?"

Po rolled his eyes. "I'm curious though. I mean other than her being mysterious, I don't know why I'm attracted to her."

Jessica sniggered, "Maybe you have a 'crush' fetish."

"A what?"

"You know... snu-snu."

"I am not interested in having my pelvis broken!" Po barked.

"But if your head were between those thighs, would you complain about being suffocated?" 

The panda took too long to answer. "Wait! That's a trick question, you wouldn't hear me at all!"

Jessica's laugh soon died down as she bit into the apple she got from the cafe. "So... you think she's the one?"

"Eh, more like she's the fun one."

"Huh?"

"I don't know. There's something... fascinating about a woman who knows her strength. A capable woman, I guess. Someone that isn't anal about always being in charge. Knows her power and worth, and knows how to get what she wants."

Jessica smirked and scooted closer to Po at the cafeteria table. "I can be capable," She said as her face grew closer to his.

"What are you doing?" Po asked with a blank expression.

"I'm just testing your theory," She grinned seductively. Her nose would've touched his if he moved half an inch closer. Po simply tilted his head up and blew a puff of air into her snout. "HEY! What the hell!" Jessica shouted, covering her nose.

"Nice try. I'm used to your tricks," Po smirked. The husky pouted in defeat. "Anyway, I have to go grade Dr. Shifu's papers. I'll see you later, Ms. Capable."

"Ha, ha. Fuck you, Po," Jessica huffed, flicking him off.

The panda walked over to the English department and sat down to do his grading. Normally, he graded in Dr. Shifu's office, just to make sure he was doing the work right. He was nearly done when the red panda came in. "Ah, Po. I'm glad I caught you before you left."

"What's wrong?"

Shifu walked around his own desk and sat down, holding a sheet of paper. "I've noticed a slight turn in your classes. Your grades are slipping."

"Wh-What?!"

"It's not in the red, but it's the downward trend that's worrying me. Especially for my best student. Is something wrong?"

The panda looked around the room for some idea. "No, not that I can think of. I mean... maybe I've been distracted by girls lately so-"

"That's nothing new."

"Wait what?"

"You've had crushes before but your grades weren't slipping."

Po stared at him. "How did you know?"

"Lovesick grins, little doodles on papers I found."

"Oh my gods, I'm so sorry, Dr. Shifu."

"It's alright. But I feel like there's something else. You don't have to tell me but-"

"No, no I..." Po trailed off for a moment. He thought back to his talk with Tai Lung. Maybe the spotted cat was right about focusing on his own life before he tried to introduce someone else to it. "I guess I've been experiencing some... growing pains. I'm just trying to figure out who I am, right now," Po sighed.

Shifu nodded with his own sigh. "In that case, I would suggest finding a more efficient and effective way to study to give yourself time to grow. I think your energy is spread too thinly." Po tilted his head a bit. That was something he hadn't considered. If he could remain focused, maybe he could kick two cans with one rock.

But he sighed, "I thought I knew myself."

"Hm?"

"I've just... been through a lot. Trying to figure out stuff. Girls, my worth, my flaws. It feels like... I keep going back to square one."

"You're not. You're just crossing over a familiar path."

"What?"

Shifu grabbed a piece of paper from his desk and showed it to Po. It was an intricately drawn mandala of circles crossing over each other. "It's like this mandala, if you follow the lines, you're bound to trace over the same line that you were just on, but you're not. You're not at square one, you're just crossing familiar paths. Life isn't a linear path. But you have to treat it as an experiment. Write things down, reflect, and then try a different way. See what works and doesn't. And don't focus on the results. Focus on the journey."

"Hm?"

Shifu leaned back in his chair, thinking of words to speak, "When you finish a story, what happens? You feel excited and amazing, right?" Po nodded. "For how long?"

"About... a day or two. Then I go onto the... next story."

Shifu smiled at his realization, "The results aren't where happiness is. It's the journey. To be sure, your efforts in writing need to be checked and edited by the results to find more effective and efficient routes, but the journey is where the joy is. So, if you got a girlfriend, then what would happen?"

"Uhhhh."

"You would have sex."

"Dr. Shifu!"

"I'm being realistic," Shifu smirked at the panda's embarrassed face, "But after that?"

Po blinked and reflected. In some of his spicy stories, the sex scene would stretch on for pages, but after almost everything exciting could be exhausted, he'd have to close the story. At the end of the whole thrill, the bedsheets need to be brought up and everyone needs to go to sleep. "I guess I've been going through too much tunnel vision," Po muttered.

That was another issue. In real life, the more anxiously one goes after pleasure, the less they get it. Narrowing the scope of pleasure. "And things become addictions when they narrow our view, not expand them."

"Hm?"

"Nothing," Po smiled. "Thank you, Dr. Shifu. I'll try to find someone to study with. I'll bring up my grades."

Shifu shrugged. "Like I said, they're not in the red, and they're pretty fine all things considered. I'm just worried about next year. Sophomore year might require more out of you, and your thesis is going to be close by. You should start working on that. Frees your time up."

"Yeah, you're right. Thank you, Dr. Shifu," Po smiled and left the red panda's office.

Even though the Freshman year was coming to a close, Shifu was right. Po had to start thinking about next year. But who could he study with?

The English department had a square hall filled with offices and lecture halls. Near the upper right corner of the square was the lobby and exit were some seats sat. Po found someone typing on her phone on one of those seats. The panda knew about this woman. She was talked about a lot by some of his English colleagues. "What is her name? Carrie? Mitchell? Uhhh Megan?"

The woman's slightly floppy ears perked up as did her head. Po came face to face with the golden retriever's bored-looking gaze. Her green eyes mirrored Po's, though they seemed to always be half-lidded. She had a slightly small tight T-shirt on, showing a bit of her slender waist. The mini-skirt blue jeans had small rips for the warming days. Black boots rode up halfway to her shins, showing off her smooth legs. Two earrings of black X's and O's hung from her floppy ears and her neck held a black choker. 

Her boobs were big. That observation was uninteresting to Po at the time. She tilted her head. "Yes?"

"Uhhh Megan?"

"Yes."

"Oh! Sorry, I was just... trying to remember your name," Po chuckled nervously. The bored look on her face stayed. "You're an English major, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, I just need some help studying next year and I'm looking for a study partner. If you're busy, I can find someone else." Po figured that would be enough. He did start the conversation weirdly.

"Where?"

"Uhhh main library?"

"Study room?"

"Y-Yeah, I can make that happen."

"Okay," She said, stretching out her hand. Po stared at it and then at her. "Your phone?"

"Because I was supposed to know that," The panda said, rolling his eyes. He gave his number, and the golden retriever quickly went back to texting. "Alright, see ya."

"What's your name?"

"Hm?"

"You haven't told me your name."

"Oh, Po."

"Shifu's student?"

Po paused. His hand was already on the door handle, but he went back to staring at Megan. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're pretty well known. Shifu talks about you a lot."

Po rolled his eyes, though he couldn't stop smiling. A little sense of pride trickled into that smile. "Yeah, that's me. Hope to see you next year."

"Yeah, see ya," She said, only slightly looking up from her phone. The panda walked out and sighed. Pausing for a moment, he looked back and saw a guy stop by Megan and talk with her for a moment before sadly walking off.

"Oookay. One mysterious bulky lady and one stoic puppy. My life keeps getting better and better," Po murmured sarcastically. "Hm. Maybe Jessica's right. I need to start hanging around other people that aren't cats and dogs."

 

Chapter 14

Po groaned as he placed his backpack on the floor, leaning back into his chair. The start of Sophomore year. Already, he felt like he was behind and it was only day five. Dr. Shifu wasn't kidding when he said the year would only get harder. Technical Grammar and other Gen ed classes were stacking up. The panda sighed as he leaned on the table, looking through the paperwork before him.

It didn't help that he was also battling the effects of withdrawal. Insomnia, jitters, mood swings, and the almost constant desire to be doing something stimulating. Sometimes he wondered if he was addicted to porn or just stimulation in general. The panda shook his head. He had to focus, a precious thing in this day and age.

Pulling out his books, he started looking through the material when he heard someone knocking on the study room. A familiar canine that made the panda groan again. He grimaced a smile as he opened the door. "Megan, uhhh what are you doing here?"

"I texted you?"

Po looked at his phone. Want to study?

"That's... not much of a notice, but okay," Po said. The panda let the golden retriever in and went back to studying. The light tapping on her phone started to become melodic, but the panda kept glancing up from his work. Closer up, Po could see a black choker around her neck while the table hid her booty shorts. The panda shrugged. He wasn't a judge on clothing. Taking a break from the books, he started writing. 

"What are you writing?" Megan asked.

"Hm? Stories."

"Genre?"

"Fanfiction." Po saw her lift an eyebrow. "What? You don't think a guy like me does that for a hobby?"

"Not something people freely admit."

"Those people are boring," Po remarked. A ghost smile darted across her face. "Anyways, I'm just using them to practice my technical grammar."

"That's not a good idea," Megan said, "Stories shouldn't follow all of the grammar rules at once. They're regularly broken."

"They still need to flow, and you can't break the rules if you don't know how they affect people."

"Hm," Megan mumbled and agreed. A wolf stopped by the window and waved at Megan, but he scampered away after seeing Po. The panda could understand the buzz. Megan was attractive, though her personality at times was hard to read. "Can I read some?"

"Huh?"

"Your stories."

"Uhhh, I don't need you dying from cringe," Po smirked.

"I'll be fine," Megan replied plainly. The panda looked at her for a brief moment before sighing and handing over the paper.

"It's a brief sketch of a story. The ending of something I've been working on."

"About a chicken trying to fight to the top of his Dystopia world?"

Po's eyes widened. "You've... heard about it or are you just guessing?"

"Both. I've seen fanfiction," Megan stood up and sat next to Po. She was shorter than her, came to Po's neck. With her tight T-shirt, the panda could really see her cleavage now. C, maybe D cup and-

The panda stopped and quickly looked up something on his computer. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to figure out how women's bra size works."

"It's the size of the ribcage and then the difference between the circumference of the ribcage and the circumference of the bust size," Megan explained. Po tilted his head, cracking up an eyebrow.

"Wait, so... 34A would be?"

"A 34-inch ribcage and the bust size is one inch bigger. They go up by letter. A, B, C, D, DD or E, DDD or F, G, H. You get it."

"Wait, aren't there like... K and L?" Megan nodded. Po fiddled with his fingers as he did mental math. "Who the heck has a foot-long tiddie!"

"Pornstars and people with some good or bad genetics," Megan said, not breaking her disinterested stare. She leaned her head on her hand. "Why you ask?"

"Nothing. Just writing about some women. Need to know more about the lady culture, I guess," Po chuckled.

"Alright, your character here. Her desire isn't the best and it doesn't make sense given her scenario."

"But that's what happens in real life."

"Then you have to show that or explain that. And cut out this part."

"Wouldn't people be confused without it?"

"It's not a part of the main storyline. There is no filler. Just necessary slowdowns. Shrink it."

"Huh," Po murmured. Megan went on with her critiques. Though seemingly disinterested, she seemed to have a god-level knack for picking a story apart. Po wrote down some of the suggestions and quickly rewrote them. "Huh, that works a lot better. Thanks."

"You're welcome," Megan said, walking back over to the other side of the table.

"Now I can get my other English stuff done," Po smiled, pulling out another textbook. The canine simply went back to her phone. "MLA format of the Bible?"

"Eighth or ninth?"

"Ninth," Po said.

They began studying together, though Po couldn't help but notice the amount of guys stopping and looking through the window. And the silence was almost unbearable. Almost.  Po grabbed his water bottle and asked, "Megan, why did you choose English?"

"Since guys only want to get in my pants, I try to find the words to flip them off and explain my case to the judge."

Po spat up some of the water, "I'm sorry, what?" He choked.

"Kidding," She said with the slightest smirk the panda had ever seen. "I... don't talk much."

"Really? I didn't know," Po said sarcastically.

"But after learning communication doesn't guarantee better... communication, I decided to use English. Get a better sense of words."

"Heh, why is that?" Po chuckled a bit, "Why is Communication so hard, but English is easy."

"Communication majors know how hard it is to communicate, so they don't do it until they have to. English majors can revise and plan their words. Notice how many English majors have a hard time speaking?"

"Oh yeah. That makes sense," Po said.

It didn't explain why Megan was a lot different, though. Word shy is one thing,  but she felt like a stoic middle finger to anyone who didn't measure up to her standards. Po shook his head slightly and sighed.

The only way to learn more about people was to practice learning more about people. 

After their study session came to an end, Po and Megan packed up their things--well Po did, Megan only had her phone-- and walked out of the study room. "Do you want to go out the side door?" He asked.

"Why?

"Less guys trying to hound you?"

Megan lifted an eyebrow. "Was that pun intentional?"

Po blinked and rubbed his chin. "No, but now that you mention it, it was funny. Bad, but funny."

Megan cracked a smile. "Thanks for the study sesh. I liked it."

"Hard to tell with you," Po said bluntly. "Why did you even agree to do this?"

She shrugged, "Because you asked."

"Seriously? That's it?"

"A lot of confidence is just doing the action," Megan explain. "And I wasn't sure if you were serious at first, but this kinda solidified it."

"That..."

"You're a great guy."

Po's eyes widened. "You got that from just studying an hour with me? How?"

"You didn't say anything to fill the empty air, which means you're not uncomfortable with awkward silence. You didn't try to get in my pants. And even though you looked at my boobs, you didn't let it bother you as much."

"Sorry," Po sighed rather than deny it.

"It's okay. I know they're big," Megan said plainly, "And the fact you admit it is admirable. You were focused on your own goals. You weren't trying to chase me like a trophy."

The panda blinked and narrowed his eyes. "Soooo I ignored you?"

"And by doing so you treated me like a person, not an object to be won. You just treated me like a woman," Megan explained.

"Huh."

"What?"

"No... just... realizing I've been wasting a lot of energy on things," Po smiled, "Thank you. I needed that."

Whether it was a lesson or revelation, Po didn't know. There was some deeper truth to what Megan said, and it helped him get his priorities straight.

Jessica lifted her eyebrow when she heard the news a few days later. The husky shrugged as she popped a grape into her mouth. "Gotta be honest, I thought someone like Megan would be a prig before you told me. She seems very standoffish."

"You'd be too if a bunch of guys you didn't like were swarming you left and right."

"And that's where my foot and their balls become very good friends," Jessica grinned evilly. Po rolled his eyes.

"If she's a high prize for guys, it makes sense she would put up that barrier. Hey, but you can't say that I'm only crushing on cats now."

"She doesn't count because you don't have a crush on her."

"I think it counts. I still think she's very attractive."

"It doesn't," Jessica said flatly. "So what about the other women in your life?"

"Don't say it like that. But uhh which one are you talking about?" Po grinned nervously.

"Keep your women straight Po. That's the first rule," Jessica teased. "Nora."

"She's fine. She's just... working me over hard," Po griped, rubbing his bum. "She's crazy about leg exercises. I think I sprained a butt cheek last time."

"Haha, well, at least you'll be prepared for the bedroom."

"Heh, yeah," Po chuckled, "It's weird, though. I go from a girl that all the guys are drawn to to a girl that guys typically avoid. It's like going from a darkroom into a spotlight."

"Do you hate it?"

"Nah, I get to feel like a million bucks and then I hang out with someone that beats my bones in. Best of both worlds," Po laughed.

"I'm glad you like it," Jessica smirked. Just then, Po saw a female panda coming towards them. Po hadn't seen this person before. The top of her head fur was styled with a left swoop and a purple fringe. A large pink T-shirt with something saying 'I like my puppies' covered her body with a white flowery skirt. "Hey Bai!"

"Ahh, now it makes sense," Po chuckled. The female panda came over to their table and sat next to them.

"Po, meet Bai. My new girlfriend."

"I'm sorry, I mean congratulations," Po smirked.

"What do you mean?" Bai asked.

"Nothing, Jessica is just a lot. You think you can handle it?" Po said.

The female panda smirked at him, "Who says anything about handling anyone? If anything, you should be asking if she can handle me?"

"Oh hohohho, you two are perfect for each other," Po laughed. He could already see the naughty private glint in the panda's eye. "Anyway, I have to get to Gozin. Catch you later, Jessica."

"Alright. Say hi to your mistress and your bitch for me."

"JESS!"

"HAHAHA! See you Po," The husky smiled. Po rolled his eyes and walked over to Gozin's office where the two talked about something that had been bothering the panda.

"What do you mean?" The goose asked.

Po shrugged, "I feel like my progress with this addiction is very... weird. Like I know more about myself, but I still relapse. Why?"

"We learn more from restraint than indulgence sometimes."

"I guess. It's just... I feel like sometimes I can do better for longer and then other times I can only last a short time. Sometimes I feel it's boredom, but other times it's stress," Po sighed, "I guess the good thing is that it's starting to lose some of its appeal. I don't feel excited by it as much. But I'm still addicted to the feeling. The thrill and excitement. The FOMO is weirdly strong."

"The same excitement that people get when they're riding a roller coaster."

"Yeah," Po sighed, "Will I always be an addict?"

The bird sighed, "Unfortunately, yes, but you can, over time, break those neural habits and find more satisfying and fulfilling things. We're all addicted. It's what we're addicted to that matters."

Po sighed as he got up. "Am I getting better?"

"You're progressing. And progression has some backward steps. Just keep moving," Gozin said.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm moving in a circle."

"Remember, you're on a journey. You don't have to learn it all at once."

"Hmm," Po left the goose's office with a slight somber sigh on his lips. The panda shook his head. Gozin and Megan were right. First, he'd have to get his priorities straight before thinking about other things like relationships.

He looked at his watch. 10 am. He was running late for his workout. Scurrying over, he walked into the gym to a strange sight in the weight area. He saw a spotted leopard talking with a bulky lioness. Po's body froze. He knew Nora and Tai Lung didn't see eye to eye, even though they had never talked with each other. He felt the tension grip his chest as he expected a fight. 

But then, the two of them were laughing. The panda slowly approached the two. "Nora, Tai Lung, what are you two doing?"

"Oh, she and I were just talking," Tai Lung smiled. Po raised an eyebrow.

"Calm down, plushy," Nora smirked, "It's not like that. I figured it was time to work on my social skills, not caring what people think of me."

"Oh!"

"Yeah, it's time more people saw I have a good side," Nora smiled.

"Which side is that?" Po grumbled, "I only know the side that leaves me constantly in pain."

Tai Lung laughed, "Just because you're sore, doesn't mean she doesn't have a good side."

"What made you even want to try this?" Po asked.

"Well, you," Nora explained. The panda's eyes widened. "Being around you, I've gotten better at being okay with how I look. And you saying every guy has their taste also helped a lot. Can't force people to see me a certain way. Annndd I figured if someone like you could do it, I have no excuse."

"Really, that is the most low-handed compliment I've heard in my life," Po griped, placing his hands on his hips.

"Around you, I've learned when to let my guard down, and how to regulate my behavior so people don't think I'm gonna fight them."

"Has that happened before?" Po asked.

"It's... actually how we first met," Tai Lung said, embarrassed. "She was taking a little too long on one of the machines... one thing lead to another, but... thankfully I didn't get clocked into next Thursday."

"I'm not that violent," Nora argued

"You tossed a guy out with one hand one time."

"And?"

"The guy was a bull!"

"He was being a dick!"

Tai Lung rolled his eyes. Po's gaze shifted from him to Nora. "I didn't think I was that influential."

"More than you think, plushy bear," Nora smirked, patting him on the back. "More than you think. And now that we're both your trainers-"

"Oh no."

"We can both train you. So, there's no escape!" Nora laughed. Po grimaced but smiled. They started to work out and after the grueling ordeal, Po slumped over to the benches. There was a large mirror in front of them. For a moment, Po looked at his reflection, stood up, and tried posing for a while. His pecs were coming in, the belly was probably going to be with him forever, and he wasn't expecting his thighs to start shaping up. His arms still looked pudgy, though. He sighed.

"What's wrong?" Tai Lung asked.

"Will... Will I ever be satisfied with myself?" Po asked.

"Ooooh no, no, no. You're not going down the body dysmorphia path," Tai Lung said sternly. But the panda wasn't only talking about his body. "Listen Po. At the end of the day, the one thing that matters is that you're healthy. Your body is only half the story. Do not think that you need more. You'll always want more, but you'll never enjoy it."

"So... how do I stop?"

"Appreciate and enjoy what you have and be thankful for more," Tai Lung said. "It's hard but trust me when I say that women aren't with you because of your body. They're with you for all of you." The snow leopard smirked, "And a panda wouldn't be cuddly if he wasn't a little chubby."

Po chuckled softly and smiled. "Thank you, Tai Lung."

The day quickly went by as Po walked back to his dorm under the night sky. The days were starting to get shorter, much to the panda's dismay. "Why can't I do work according to the sun?" He muttered. He strolled into the dorm where his similar roommate stayed. Monkey seemed to be out with his girlfriend.

Po shrugged. He sat down at his desk and pulled out his laptop. He decided to go through and work on his next story. Just then, he got a Private message from a familiar person. It was entitled "Story Idea"

Po's head jerked back a bit but he clicked on it.

Hey, JunkieBear, I really like your stories. I was wondering, if it's not too much if you could do a different kind of story idea.

Po thought for a moment. He had done requests before and they could be fun. How people saw the world and described was interesting, for better or worse. And it gave him practice.

He also knew this person a little. Their name was StickyCat. They had liked several of his other stories before.

What did you have in mind?

What Po didn't realize was the request would cause him a bit of a headache the next day. Just... not the way he expected.

 

Chapter 15

"A Lemon request?" Jessica asked. Po fretfully munched on some oatmeal in the lunch hall as he nodded. "Isn't that like a sex story or something?"

"It's exactly that," Po murmured. 

"Why is that such a problem?"

"If I'm trying to get rid of porn, shouldn't I stay away from this?"

"Sounds like you're starting to get afraid of sex," Jessica sighed, worriedly nibbling on her claw. Po swatted her hand away. "Hmph. Why don't you just do a lovey-dovey story? Your sex story doesn't haven't be like porn."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it doesn't have to be over the top. It can just be more... meaningful." 

Po stared at her for a moment and sighed, "As weird as it sounds, that might actually work. But I don't know. I have a lot on my plate."

"But you haven't eaten."

Po chuckled a bit, "You know what I meant." 

"Just... don't become afraid of sex, okay? I know you're dealing with this stuff, but... still," Jessica said seriously.

"I won't. Thanks, Jess." Though the panda smiled, his brain still churned on and on at the idea. Later, he found himself staring at a computer screen with the request of a lemon. As a tired monkey napped in the top bunk behind him, he rubbed his chin and sighed. "Alright, let's do this." 

Time flowed on. The tail end of the Sophomore fall semester started to come into view. Po's focus on his work and training was only complicated some by his private projects with StickyCat. 

And he surprisingly loved it. Working with the person, who he was convinced was a she, he started to venture into different territories of sex he never knew. He started asking questions about himself he never knew to ask. Masculinity, fantasy, and reality, what true love looked like versus rutting. 

And he explained these things to Gozin in his office one day. The goose smiled a bit. "I'm glad you're learning all of this. It's good to learn what a good relationship with sex looks like. Gives you something to aim for. But how are your grades?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, personal discovery is great, but you still need to eat after college," Gozin smiled. "I'm not shooting your idea down, I'm just saying." 

"Well, my grades are up. Working with Megan has been great."

"And you and Nora have been training?" Gozin asked. The panda nodded. 

"I've... been learning a lot from them. Things that I don't think I would've learned if I started to crush on them, you know. And... I think I've learned something important."

"What's that?"

"I'm... okay being myself. My life doesn't revolve around women or sex. There's more out there. There's more to life. I still have problems, but... I feel different. Like... I finally see my insecurities for what they are. Not real. Just... thoughts."

"Recognizing insecurities is a crucial step in anyone's life. And it seems that you've been doing that very well through writing." Gozin paused. "Po, is writing a job for you or therapy?"

Po thought for a while. "I guess more therapy."

"Then... why are you trying to make a job out of it? I guess I'm asking why you want to be an English major."

Po took a long sigh, slumping deeper into the comfortable sofa. "I guess I just wanted to find a way to express myself. At first, I wanted to be an author, but authorship is a side job. Even the famous ones. Then I wanted to be a teacher and... I don't know. I never gave it much thought."

"Why not give it less thought and more practice?" Gozin smiled. "I want you to do an exercise with me. I want you to complete the sentence with the first thing that comes to your mind." 

"Huh."

"What?"

"Never thought this was a legit thing shri- therapists do," Po corrected. 

The goose smiled, "I've found that people often think too much or not enough. This helps get rid of the noise. Now, I want-"

"Sex," Po felt his cheeks burn a bit. "I mean-"

"Don't worry. Just keep going. I don't want to have to worry about-"

"Money, I want to be well off," Po quickly finished. 

"If time or money weren't a thing, I would-"

He took a little longer with this. "Try new things. Explore." 

"I want a job that-"

"I don't hate." 

"Hmm, it is a lot to go with Po. And it does show that any major could fit those things. But I do encourage you to get more real-world experience. Have you considered tutoring, since you mentioned teaching?"

"No, I haven't," Po said, genuinely surprised he hadn't thought of it. 

"What level would you want to teach?"

"Kids, 1-12, I think. I'm good with kids."

"With kids. Or the idea of kids?" 

"Kids."

"Very well, but you also want some time to yourself, is that correct? Then you'll have to get a better glimpse into what a teacher is like." 

The panda nodded and stood up. "Thank you, Dr. Gozin. I... really needed that."

"I don't want you to become anxious, though, Po. It's normal not to know what you want, but you'll never figure out what you want by doing nothing but thinking. You have to know it in practice if you understand."

"I... I think I understand," Po replied. After the session, the panda walked away from the building a bit perturbed. At times, it felt like just as he got the handle on one thing, another lesson came up. "Does it ever stop?" Po muttered, rubbing his forehead. 

He couldn't answer that now. Right now, he had to go to Dr. Shifu's for grading. Swiftly walking to the English department, the panda knocked on the red panda's door and grabbed the papers. "You seem to be in a bit of a hurry," The slightly nearsighted professor said. 

"Nothing, just... came from a counseling session."

"Personal. Understood."

"It's not... exactly that," Po lifted his head to face the quizzically staring professor. "Dr. Shifu, you've taught 1-12 before, right?"

"Each grade and combinations of them, yes." 

"What is it like?" 

Shifu leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingers with his pen. "Honestly, you grade a lot of papers and alone time is somewhat rare. It's possible but rare." He lifted his bushy eyebrow. "Do you... want to be a teacher?" 

"It was an idea." 

"You like writing?"

"Yeah, but I write more for therapy and to express myself."

"Then you might not want to make it your job. It sounds like a good hobby." 

Po frowned, "Don't people make their hobbies a job? I know it doesn't always work, but-"

"People who succeed in that focus on the fun. It's easy to get caught up in the stress and status of your passion. To make the internal motivation external. So they come to hate it. If you can learn how to never let go of the fun, then you're fine." 

Po sighed, still staring at the red panda. "That is both very helpful and very confusing." 

Shifu smiled, "That's life, unfortunately." 

"Yeah, I'm starting to realize that," Po sighed. 

After the large panda finished grading Dr. Shifu's papers, he wandered the promenade, rubbing his chin in thought. "Ugh, Gozin was right. I think I'm thinking too much." 

"Need some help with that!" 

"DAAAHHH!" Po jumped and found someone of pure white fur standing next to him with a grinning smile. Po's black fur paled a bit. "Uhhhh Heeeyyyyy Mia," he sheepishly grinned. 

Mia was a white wolf with a bright smile and piercing blue eyes like Jessica. She wore a bright blue scarf on her otherwise dark-clad body. A big ink-colored pair of jeans with a shirt underneath her long black trench coat that Po couldn't see; it was getting cold. But her vibrant white fur and smile could show through any winter. "Hey Po! Couldn't help seeing your face. Something wrong?" 

"Uhhh nooo?" Po nervously grinned. The wolf cutely pouted, crossing her arms. "It's nothing, nothing, really. I uhhh just need to get some food, that's all."

"Good! I'm going to the cafe, too," Mia smiled widely,  "Maybe you can tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

"Uhhh great," Po groaned. His feet trudged on as Mia talked about her Marketing major and some of the parties she wanted to go to. Po smiled bravely. It wasn't that he didn't like Mia. Her bright demeanor was a ray of sunshine for most people. 

But extrovert energy tends to drain introvert energy. 

"So? Are you going to the Thanksgiving party?" Mia asked as they sat near the back of the cafe, much to Po's relief. 

"Uhhhh probably not," Po nervously grinned. "I have to get some... stuff for the year. Besides, that party isn't the... best for me?" 

Mia tilted her head. "What do you mean? You usually have fun at parties." 

"Yeaahhh but... did you do the collab on the party events?" Po asked. The wolf nodded. "Yeahhhh, I think I'm just gonna-"

"Wait, you don't like my parties?!" Mia almost shouted. 

"No, no, no," Po quickly hushed. "Sorry, I just... I'm kind of an introvert so those parties-"

"Wait. Really? But you're usually the life of the party."

Po's brain and body came to a full stop. Firstly, he thought anyone looking at him could tell he was mostly introverted. But Mia looked genuinely surprised, so she wasn't lying. Secondly, why would HE be the life of the party?

"What do you mean?" 

"Po you're amazing to be around. Jessica, Tai Lung, Kayla, Emma, Lee, Tyler, Viper-"

"I didn't know you knew everyone," Po grimaced a smile a bit. 

"My point is that you know a lot of people. And a lot of people know who you are. I just... never figured you were an introvert. Especially when I saw you at these school parties," Mia explained. 

"I usually go in and get out without most people noticing."

"But... you can't with my parties, can you?" Mia smiled with a look of understanding. "I know I'm a bit of a big party animal. I'll be honest, I thought you didn't come to my invites because you had a crush on me." 

"I probably did," Po said plainly. 

"Really?" Mia almost squealed, but then her face fell. "What do you mean probably?" 

"I've been crushing on a lot of people. And you're pretty welcoming, too." Po tapped his chin. "It was probably your brave attitude."

"Huh, most people say it's my butt," the wolf frowned slightly. 

Po's eyes suddenly narrowed like she had given him the last clue to a puzzle. "Well, I... wouldn't know. I don't think I've ever seen you in the kind of stuff Jessica wears." 

Mia chuckled a bit somberly. "Well, that's too bad. I'm sorry for being so pushy. I really thought you were just a quiet extrovert. But I'm surprised I haven't seen you in the fandom club." 

Po's entire face fell. "There's a fandom club?" 

"Yeah, it's in the library. They meet every other Thursday?" 

Po rested his arm on the table, staring hard at the white wolf. "How do you know this and I don't?"

Mia smirked cheekily, "I may be extroverted, but I know how to speak the other language. Maybe you need to focus on what's around you?" She winked. 

Po rolled his eyes but smiled. The wolf was more right than she realized. 

 

 

Chapter 16

Winter semester rolled around and spring slowly warmed the earth. The panda began working as an English sub for a high school. His red panda mentor was slightly worried. "Are you sure you'll be fine?"

"Don't you think you should've asked that before a month in?" Po chuckled. "I'm fine. I feel fine."

"It's a lot to take on," Shifu warned. 

"I won't know if I don't try," the large panda smiled, but Shifu still frowned worriedly. The school kids loved Po as their substitute, but the panda wasn't sure if that was because he'd find fun ways to get them to do their work, or because he was really good at teaching.

Jessica simply shrugged when he asked her about it. "I'm not the girl you want to talk to about kids. Teenage years are those years I try to forget."

"Why? You were popular back then," Po asked.

"Yeah, in one of the most cringest ways possible."

"Awww, you didn't like your emo phase? But you grew into your biker look!" 

"Shut up Po," Jessica griped, munching on her burrito. "So, is teaching the digital-age brats what you want to do?"

"Ehhhh. As much as I love teaching kids, I think I want to do college work."

"Why?"

"Parents," Po grumbled. "Parents are soooo annoying! I can reason with kids, but the parents are just... idiots. They think they know their kids when they don't know what action figure they like. In college, I don't have to deal with that as much." He saw the husky chuckling in her leather jacket. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just... I can't imagine you as a mini... well, a bigger Shifu."

"Jessica!" 

"Sorry, sorry," she laughed, "But how is the work? Aren't you a little tired?"

Po shrugged, "I don't feel tired."

"Hmm."

"Why are you worried?"

"It's just... a shit ton of stuff. You're interning, doing school stuff, and trying to figure out your thesis? I'd be so tired I wouldn't know where my tits and my ass were!" 

Po shook his head and smiled, "I'll be fine. I feel fine at least."

"Just... try not to push yourself too much, okay?" Jessica asked. 

The panda smiled, "I'll try my best."

Over time, Po's study sessions with Megan became more routine. The golden retriever, though a tad detached, did give a lot of writing insight. And he would be lying if there weren't some eye candy thrown into it. In one of their study sessions, the usual clacking of digital buttons stopped. Po looked up from his work. Megan looked at him. Her neutral half-lidded stare was different. Her head was slightly tilted. Was that worry? "Uuhhh, what's wrong?"

"Two things. One, are you okay? Your eyes are red." 

Po blinked and felt the sting of his own eyes. Rubbing them, he sighed, "I haven't been sleeping much. What's the other thing?" 

"Why are you okay with me?"

"In general or with studying?" 

"Both?"

"You help me shore up writing weaknesses. And you give it bluntly."

"Sorry."

"No, no, I'm used to that. I... really don't like the assumptions game that people play."

"So you don't like society?" Megan asked. 

"You're one to talk."

"My society usually consists of guys trying to get one night with me and jealous girls talking shit behind my back. Trust me, it's not wanted."

"Sorry about that."

Megan shrugged, "It happens. What about in general?"

Po smirked, "Do you want to truth or the lie?"

"The truth."

"At first, I liked your boobs. The way you dress... attracts me."

"Gets you horny."

"I... yeah," Po sighed, "But I realized that I just liked the way you looked, not you. So... I stopped."

"Really?" Po watched the canine's eyes slightly widen. "So you lost interest in me?" 

"It's not right to just like you because of your looks. And... I don't think our personalities would really work." 

Megan nodded, "Fair point."

"Sorry if that's weird."

"You have Jessica as your friend," Megan said with a slight smile, "I think you're used to weird more than I am."

"Hehe, yeah." Po sighed as the room returned to the silent clacking of her phone. 

"But why are you okay with not talking?" She asked. 

"If you have nothing interesting to say why talk? Sure, I'm a talker, but I've stopped trying to force more out of people than they want. I guess I'm not afraid of looking a little silly. In the end, I know people don't care."

Megan slowly lowered her phone. A rare sight for the panda. She looked out of the window and sighed. "Seems like everyone cares too much about what I do." 

"Pains of being a pretty woman?" 

"One that just wishes she could be left alone." Megan shook her head in a rare act of emotion. "Sorry, I should-"

"Don't be afraid of showing emotion. Just make sure you can emote. That's the important part," Po smiled. 

Megan gave a tiny smile, just briefly, "You really do need to sleep better, though."

"I know, I know." But the panda kept going. 

Over a week, he noticed he kept waking up earlier and earlier. 

The workload didn't seem to ease up, and Tai Lung could see the panda struggling in more ways than one. "Po, are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" the panda asked. The snow leopard pointed to the panda's meager plate. He shrugged and rubbed his eyes, yawning, "I guess I'm not as hungry as I used to be. Hey, maybe that means I'll lose some weight."

The snow leopard didn't return the panda's enthusiasm. "Po, since you're building muscle, you have to eat more, at least more than that."

"I know, I know. My stomach hasn't been acting right. I need to take ginger to calm it down."

Tai Lung crossed his arms, "Po, I think you need to see a doctor. I'm worried about you. With everything you've been going through, I think the stress is getting to you."

Po smiled, "Thanks. The work still has to be done, though."

"Yeah, but you have to be alive for that," Tai Lung remarked. Po clapped the snow leopard's back and got up from his food. "It's okay to slow down, Po. Even when you're stressed out, strength training isn't going to be a panacea for stress. It might make things worse."

Po stared at the snow leopard, holding a frown the snow leopard couldn't decipher. "I'll keep that in mind." As he walked over to the English department, he passed the building where his counseling sessions were. He hadn't scheduled a meeting with Gozin since the beginning of the semester. In fact, with everything going on, Po hadn't had the time for porn. By his count, he stayed away from it for a full month.

Of course, he also hadn't been going to the gym or journaling. His internship left him very little time for him to do anything else other than work and sleep. What little sleep he got. 

But things got worse. His trip to Dr. Shifu's office revealed the panda's grading was off. Way off. This only confirmed the red panda's fears about Po's workload. Shifu practically had to beg Po to rest more. 

"I'll try," The large panda smiled as he left the professor's office.

Though he didn't have many science classes, Po still visited Viper whenever he could to study. On one visit, the snake saw the panda's feet and hand fidget as he tried to stare at a book for longer than two seconds. 

"Po, are you okay?"

"Hm? Why do you say that?"

"You're fidgeting a lot." 

Po finally noticed the shaking. "Huh, I guess, I have been jumpy a bit."

"You've been shaking all day. Are you sure you're okay?" Viper asked. 

The panda smiled, "Don't worry, Viper. I'm fine. I guess I'm stressed out."

"Then you need to rest. Especially with midterms are so close." 

"I'll... try," Po yawned and smiled. The snake smiled back, though she couldn't help but feel an itching worry crawl up her spine. 

Midterms finally came. Day in and day out of tests came through the panda's head, when finally, like a meditation gong softly sounding through the campus' air, the tests were over. The break was finally here. The day after his final test, it was near the afternoon, so the panda decided to go to bed to celebrate. "Ugh, let's be honest. I'm going there to look at my phone," He sighed. He was proud though. With all the stress going on, he was fortunate to have some space from his addiction. Maybe the extra work was paying off? 

The sun soon lowered across the sky, and the panda went to bed early. Monkey was off with some friends and wouldn't be back in three days, so Po was alone for a while. Laying his head down, he slowly closed his eyes. 

Thump

Thump

Thump!

Po's eyes shot open. He didn't move, but he could tell something was off. His heart was loud. Not fast just loud. "Huh, that's weird," He muttered to himself. He rested his eyes, but his heart kept beating loudly, preventing him from sleeping. He got up and moved to the desk for some late-night reading for the next half of the semester. Something to get his mind to settle. But the moment he got out of bed, the weight of sleepiness sapped his muscles from his bones. "Whoa, okay, what the heck?" Po grumbled. He went back to his bed. 

Thump

Thump

Thump!

"ARGGGHHH! What the hell!" Po rasped. His jade eyes glared down at his chest like it was a betrayer. "What is going on?!" He shuffled to the shower, felt the pleasant sting of warm water on his fur, and did some quick deep breathing. But a dried panda sat in bed with no unconsciousness in sight. 

Hour upon hour ticked on by until the sun rose. Po groaned as he got up. "Well, that sucked," He muttered. His eyes were heavy. Heavier than any weight he could lift in the gym. And going to the gym was out of the question. Being a little sleep-deprived could be an injury risk. Going a whole night without it was probably worse. "Alright, I think I'm just gonna do some light stuff," Po muttered. 

He walked through the day through a deadly sludge. His tongue found food horrid. His joints ached in places that didn't make sense. Making his way to the park just off of campus, he thought resting in the sun would calm him down. But the jitter of his hand told him otherwise. "ARRGGGHHHH!" He screamed into the empty park. "What's wrong with me?!"

The second night wasn't any better. 

By the third night of sleeplessness, Po shook in bed as if he had a seizure. Last night, a warm hot shower made him feel like hot knives were slicing right through his feet.  His normal media relaxer failed to help, too. He knew that would happen; he normally didn't look at porn for stress relief. 

He shook and shivered in bed, clutching the sheets to his chest. He tried to close his eyes for some kind of relief, but he couldn't. He already went to the campus's medical center. And their answer was simple.

Stress.

Po couldn't believe it. He wouldn't. Stress couldn't cause all of this, right? Loud heartbeats in his ear, his senses betraying him, feeling awake at night, but sleepy during the day, fits of his mind racing and telling him thought after thought of what his death looked like. Oh, the one time he didn't want his imagination to work so well. "W-W-What's wrong with me?"

He broke into tears. Shivering and crying. He wailed into his pillows, begging for the relief of his pain or death to come. Right now, the Grim Reaper seemed more merciful than uncertainty. 

Just then, the door opened. His jade eyes opened up as he looked through the makeshift bed curtains. "M-M-Monkey?"

"Oh, sorry, Po I didn't mean to Whoa! Po, what's wrong?" 

"P-P-Please help me," Po fell out of his bed and shivered. "I-I don't know what's wrong. I can't sleep, I can't eat! I can't do anything and I haven't slept in three days!"

"D-Did you take any coffee or-"

"No! I don't know what's going on?! I went to the campus d-d-d-doctors and th-they said it was just stress but I don't know what's going on and I just keep thinking I'm going to die, and I don't want to die, Monkey! I don't want to die!" 

"Okay, okay, shhh, shh!" Monkey sighed. "Let's get you to a hospital."

"Bu-Bu-"

"Po, you need a doctor. And the urgent care is closed. You haven't had any sleep in three days. You need help," Monkey said with all the seriousness in his bones. Po sighed and tearfully nodded. 

"I-I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Come on, let's get you some help," Monkey gently ushered. A shaking shivering panda stumbled through the late halls of the dorm and to the dorm dean. Guilt and pain worsened the tightness in his chest. Worried onlookers spotted him and whispered. Some even asked him what was wrong. 

"I don't know," He'd replied mournfully. The large yak dean, hearing the situation, gave Monkey directions to the nearest hospital. Po couldn't remember the drive there. His eyes wanted to close and let death come. If it was death. But his body jolted to life each time, refusing to let him sleep or rest. 

"You'll be fine, Po. It's going to be okay." He wanted to believe Monkey's words, but the constant thumping in his chest couldn't let him. 

The mind-numbing blinking of the hospital's incandescent lights dulled Po's senses. It wasn't helping. None of this was helping. After Monkey explained the situation to the fox receptionist, the doctors let Po into a room. 

"Jitters, I can't sleep, I haven't eaten well, I don't know what's going on!"

"Okay, let's do some tests and see what's going on," said the kind elephant. It didn't take long. Just a pulse read. Po heard the words panic attack and GAD uttered. GAD? Was that a stomach disease? The doctors gave him a tablet that dissolved under his tongue. 

Almost immediately he felt his body lose the fight to keep him alert. His eyes fluttered and struggled to keep on. Again, his tired mind barely heard the words they told him. They gave him a set of papers to read when he was in better health. The weariness in his bones cried for sleep on the trip back. "Are you okay?" Monkey asked. 

"I... I think," Po mumbled. As they returned to the dorm, Po climbed into bed where the reaper of sleep finally took him. 

The battle was over. 

A/N been wondering if I should post more often

Chapter 17

Generalized Anxiety Disorder. GAD. That's what the diagnosis was. The panda's body still mourned for sleep. Each step up to the library ached more than normal. And he took another step just to make sure he was still alive. Taking a deep breath, he looked around the slightly emptied library. It was still mid-term break, something Po was grateful for. It gave him time to heal from whatever it was that caused all of this.

Stress.

That's what the hospital doctors said. Stress. Po groaned and walked up the circling stairwell to the second floor. This was the "quiet" section and barely anyone was there. He walked passed rows of books and articles to the very end of the library wall where he lay in a corner. He huddled his legs to his chest, shutting his eyes. His lungs breathed calmer than last night but he couldn't shake the ghost of dread floating near him.

He explained the situation so many different times to everyone: the internship, Dr. Shifu, and his teachers. Thankfully this was over the break, but it would still cause a great 'inconvenience' to his life and-

WHO FUCKING CARES!

His brain shouted loudly at him. And it was right. It didn't matter. He buried his head into his knees and sobbed his eyes out, crying as softly as he could. No one was here to hear him. No one was here to see his pain.

Except one.

Po didn't know why she was there or what possessed her to even come to the library. But for whatever reason, he heard his name. "Po? Are you... crying?"

Po's head shot up. A familiar husky raced to his side and kneeled. "Po, what's wrong?"

"I... I... I don't know. I... I haven't been sleeping well and... last night I went to the hospital and-"

"Hospital! When were you going to tell me?!" Jessica glared.

"I was freaking the fuck out, Jessica! I didn't have time to-to run through my list of contacts, okay!" He growled in a quiet hiss.

"Alright, alright, sorry I just... I wish I could've helped."

"I don't know what happened. It's just... this can't be because of stress? Right?! I mean stress doesn't get this bad, right?! What if it's something else? What if I'm dying?!"

"Po, I... I don't know. Maybe you should talk to Gozin."

"I'm...scared," Po shivered, "I'm just so scared of it happening again."

"Shhhhhh. It's okay," Jessica gently hushed, hugging him. She petted his head, quietly rocking him in her arms. She whispered to the sobbing panda. "It's okay."

"I'm... I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't apologize. You did nothing wrong," Jessica soothed. He felt her grip on him tighten. His heart began to break. Jessica was always worried about him in one way or another. Treating him like a brother. Po latched his arms around her, sobbing a bit louder. Struggle as he might to stifle his cries, he couldn't ignore the wetness dripping onto his head. She was crying, too. He whispered another sorry. He didn't want to cause her this kind of pain.

Suddenly, Po felt something pointy on his shoulder. "Ah!"

"Sorry, sorry, force of habit," Jessica hastily said.

Po pulled away from her, giving a confused look along with his red tear-streaked eyes. "To... bite me?"

"No, no, it's... to calm me down, my Dad lightly nibble my shoulder. It... distracted me from the pain."

Po snorted a bit. "Uh huh, you sure you just didn't find me tasty?"

Jessica's face fell, pushing Po to his side. "You're feeling better."

"Heh, sorry."

"But... I'm sorry you went through this Po. Maybe you should talk about this, get more people's view, you know?"

"I don't want to become the talk of the town."

"They said it was stress, right?" Jessica asked. "Why not talk to your psych friend, the bird? To get more info? Plus, he might give it to you in a way Gozin can't."

The panda quietly thought for a moment. "Yeah, that might work. Thanks, Jessica. I really appreciate it."

The husky smiled, hugging the panda again. "Anytime, Po."

Once another night of sleep came to Po, he went to the psychology department where he found Crane. He told the bird all that happened, but Crane didn't seem surprised. "I've gone through the exact same thing. Only... a little worse."

"How?"

"When you know enough about the body, you start to figure out all the ways your body can go wrong. I'm really sorry you went through that."

"But... can stress really cause all this stuff? I mean I was having gas, bloating, at times I thought I had acid reflux. And then these thumps in my chest! The shower made my feet feel like they were getting cut! I shivered! I mean, can stress do all of this!?"

"Yes," Crane answered. "It can alter your perception, feelings too. What's more is that stress can 'morph' or change. One day you may pick your fur because you're stressed. Then years down the road, you lose weight. It will still be stress. Stress can cause insomnia, weight gain or loss, nervous ticks like fur pulling or scratching, trouble breathing, tight muscles, heart palpitations--those loud thumps in the chest, anxiety, depression, disassociation, and more. It sounds like you had chronic stress: Stress that slowly builds up and has nowhere to go."

"I thought exercise and breathing help with stress."

"Exercise works because it gives the stress somewhere to go, but it can still add stress if you're not recovering. Breathing exercises work by stabilizing your body long enough for the stress cycle to go through you. That's why it can take a long time. You're letting murky bubbling water settle by standing still, basically," Crane explained, "Relaxing is less like flipping off a switch and more of landing a plane. The longer and more you're stressed out, the longer it might take to relax. Especially if you're not used to resting."

Po huffed and groaned, "I feel broken."

"You're not. Even if you were, you're not like a pot that can't be mended. You're like Lego bricks."

"I guess that works."

"You should go to Viper. She knows a lot more about stress."

Po rose an eyebrow. "Why her?"

"She knows how the body responds to stress in a biological way. ANNNNNND she needs participants for her thesis study," Crane smiled. Po rolled his eyes.

Of course, getting Viper to stop asking if Po was okay was hard to get around, but the panda managed to explain his case. "Soooo, can you tell me how stress works?"

Viper gave a great sigh. They were in the chemistry library. She slithered out of her chair and grabbed a stool. "You know, I thought I'd need to give you this book much sooner than now."

"Why?"

"Because you're always stressed."

"Really? I don't feel like I am," Po said.

"You hide it a lot with your... animated personality."

"Uh-huh, that's a nice way of saying I'm a living cartoon," Po griped. He watched her pull something from the top shelf with her tail. She brought a large textbook to the table.

Stress: Our friend, our foe, ourselves

"Why is this book 300 pages long?" Po asked with a bit of fear in his voice.

"Because when we say stress is extensive, we mean it's extensive," Viper said seriously. "Take it, and please read it. It might help."

"I will. Thanks, Viper. I really need this."

After a weekend of reading the book, Po couldn't stop talking about his stress and the stuff he learned. Poor Jessica had to listen to the panda's rant as they walked up the promenade towards the cafe. "I mean, damaging organs, giving us a boost but then weakening us after a while. Why do we even have a society around being sleepless?"

Jessica had to smile, "I don't know, Po. A lot of people do stupid stuff. Anyway, what do you think caused all of this?"

The panda shrugged, "I mean I was under a lot of stress looking back at it. The Internship, school, my grading job, and I haven't done any kind of exercise or relaxing stuff. Plus... my uh... gosh this is awkward."

"Porn?"

"Jess! Not so loud."

"Don't be so ashamed, Po," The husky said seriously.

"Well, yeah, that. It was slipping, and after a while my body just... snapped and said enough."

Jessica frowned, patting him on the back, "I'm sorry you had to go through this, Po."

"No, no. I'm almost glad I did. I was putting too much on myself. I should've listened to everyone. I think I need to tell Dr. Shifu I need a lighter workload. I hope he understands."

"I'm sure he will. And if not, then he's a dick."

"Everyone that doesn't do what you want is a dick," Po smirked.

"But it's true," Jessica said. The panda shook his head as they neared the cafe.

"Hey, I think I'm going to talk to Dr. Shifu. Could you save me some food? I'll pay you back."

"Don't worry about it. It's on the house."

"Don't pity me, Jess."

"Po, just get your tush to your boss and come back so we can eat."

 With that, Po left.

Dr. Shifu understood, much better than Po thought. "You should focus on your schoolwork and internship. Forget about grading papers."

"But Dr. Shifu-"

"No. No buts. Right now, your mental recovery is important," Dr. Shifu said sternly. The large panda sighed in the chair as if he was getting scolded. "Po, I don't want your health to suffer just because you want to work hard. You're mortal, after all."

"I know."

"Don't worry, the job will be available next semester. But you need to finish the internship first."

Po nodded. He was right. Taking on the internship without cutting something else out in his life was causing the strain. At least he knew for next time.

After leaving Shifu and eating with Jessica, Po walked into the gym, inhaling deeply. The musical clanging of machines and weights rang in his ears as he saw two well-known gym rats. "Po!" They both said from the squat rack.

"How have you been? We haven't heard from you at all," Tai Lung said.

"I've been going through a lot. You see, first was the hospital and-"

"WHAT?!" Nora and Tai Lung exclaimed. Po quickly told them everything that happened.

"You don't realize how long the nights are until you're forced to stay up."

"Wow, I'm... I'm so sorry, Po," Tai Lung said.

The panda shrugged, "It's okay. Well now it is."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Right now, I'm just trying to pick up the pieces of my life and put them back together. Everything that happened was just... scary."

"It was a big anxiety attack," Nora said calmly. "I'm glad you went through it, though. Now you're aware of it. It's the stress that goes unnoticed that kills."

"Yeah, but how do I keep it away?"

"Don't," Nora said firmly, "You can't keep those things away. You have to let it be."

"That's... hard to do."

"Better than the alternative," Tai Lung said. "You've seen what fighting and ignoring it does for yourself."

Po sighed and nodded. "Try some stress reduction techniques. Yoga, breath work, meditation. Try some flow activities and limit stimulants: coffee, social media. Actually just get rid of social media and touch some grass," Nora said frankly.

"Uhhhh-"

"Not that kind of grass Po," Nora smirked at the chuckling panda. "But I won't judge."

"Flow activities?" Po asked.

"Stuff that fully engages you. Like baseball, writing, reading," Nora explained. "They help in the long-run, not quick fix. Remember that. They let the stress flow."

"Let it flow. Got it," Po took a deep breath, feeling just a tiny bit better. "Thanks, guys. I appreciate it."

Ring! Ring!

"Hang on, that's probably my boyfriend," Nora said.

"WHAT! You have a boyfriend!" Po exclaimed.

"Right, we were just talking about that," Tai Lung smiled.

"Why's that so weird?" Nora asked, crossing her powerful arms.

Po smirked, "You tell me Ms. Muscles."

"Po! I told you never to use my stage name!" The lioness growled, but the panda could see a slight blush on her cheeks. Tai Lung only stared. "Forget it. Long story."

"What does he look like?" Po asked. She showed a picture. Po clapped a hand over his face, trying to keep himself from laughing.

"What?!"

"Nothing, nothing, it's just... he's a hyena."

"And?" Nora growled.

"I just love the power dynamic. A short guy with a big powerful girl. It's so cute," Po chuckled, "I'm glad for you."

"Are you sure you're not a little jealous?" Nora smirked.

"Oh no, no, no. I like you and you're awesomely built, but I knew you and I wouldn't really... smooth over well. And... looking at your boyfriend, I can see why I wasn't in the running."

"Heh, sorry. He's just so-"

"It's okay," Po smiled widely, "I get it."

"Dang, Po, you really know how to get under people's skin and then leave quickly," Tai Lung smirked.

"I... tend to flirt with death a lot," The panda frowned, "But after this whole thing, I'm not too sure I can."

Nora rested a hand on his shoulder. "It'll take time, but it's going to be okay."

And she was right. Over time, and with everyone's help, he found stability once again.

Just in the nick of time too. The Sophomore year was coming to a close and Po struggled to balance the need to study with the need to rest. "Don't overdo it, Po," Jessica warned.

"It's hard not to."

"No it isn't. Just don't beat your balls over with homework."

"What if I don't do well."

"Po, you don't do well at anything if you're overstressed," Jessica said.

The panda sighed, "I feel like I've been wrong on so many things lately."

The husky smiled, "Don't worry, that's just learning."

Grabbing every ounce of his reserved for calm focus, the panda managed to strain through finals. He opted to study in groups rather than by himself, just to pace himself. He felt like he was squinting up at a waterfall with water splashing right into his eyes.

Then, it was over. All of it was over. The panda finished his final final, crawled his way to the cafeteria, and plopped at a seat right next to Jessica. "Hey! Po! You survived."

"I want to die."

"Uh uh, not until you have some pussy."

"They have other stuff in heaven you know. Maybe they have something better than pussy!" Po exclaimed rather loudly.

"Alright, alright, I get it," The husky hushed him. While Jessica wasn't shy with sensual stuff, she was still a little private about it. "Hey, why don't you come with me to the end-of-year party? Bai's going?"

"You are?" Po asked, looking at the panda sitting on the other side of Jessica.

"Of course! Free food and a great time to bust out my new shirt," Bai said. Po looked at the shirt.

I like my huskies like I like my babies. Hungry for me.

Po laughed, "So wait, babies eat you?"

"Po!"

"Stop teasing her, Po," Jessica said, lightly poking the panda's nose. "You should go, either way, it would get your mind to unwind."

"I'm worried about it unraveling, but I'll go. Get's me away from my phone too," Po said. Just then, he saw a familiar white lion. "Hey, I'll see you later."

"Gotta talk to one of your concubines?"

"Shut up, Jessica," Po grumbled. The canine only laughed as the panda walked to Kayla's table. "Hey, how are you?"

"Oh! Po, it's good to see you. I'm good. How are you? I've been meaning to talk with you."

His heart quickened a bit. Was she gonna confess? Right at the time his crush on her was gone? "What is it?"

"I hear you've been working with Megan."

"Oh! Yeah, why?"

"It's just... I know Megan, and I... didn't think she would be... with you. I don't mean to be rude, but-"

"We just study together. Not date."

"I know, but... I'm just surprised that... someone like her tolerates you. She's just... very hard to-"

"Read?" Po smiled. "Yeah. I asked to study with her, and she agreed. I half expected her not to be interested, but she came up and we studied together. She's actually been pretty helpful."

"How do you do it?"

"I just... treat her like a normal person?"

"Is anyone normal?" Kayla smirked.

"I would say you, but ever since that baby incident-"

Kayla laughed, "You're still upset about that?"

"Not upset, just... still wondering if murder is illegal."

"Po, it's not like it was your baby."

"Yeah, but I was still emotionally attached to Po Jr."

"I didn't mean... Wait! Why would it be Po Jr?!" Kayla loudly asked.

"Because I would, of course, be the best godfather there ever was," Po said this with enough flaunt as to leave the snowy lion speechless. "And he would want to change his name and carry on mine."

The lion could not form words. She just shook her head and laughed.

After the end-of-year party finally came to a close, Po walked back to his dorm and gave a long sigh. Monkey had already left for home, though he was worried about leaving Po alone. "I'll be fine," Po reassured him. So the panda was alone in his room, taking a long breath to calm down from the day.

It was finally over.

Then he opened up his computer and went to the writing website to see a notification. "Oh! I completely forgot about her."

StickyCat, the online person doing lemons with Po, had been messaging the panda. Po quickly typed back. He didn't know if she was awake or not, but it was worth letting her know he was there

JunkieBear: Hey! Sorry about the hiatus. I went through a lot of stuff.

Po sighed. He hoped she understood. While he was typing up some stories, a ping rang from his private feed.

StickyCat: It's okay. What's wrong?

Po smiled, at least she wasn't angry.

JunkieBear: I went through a massive anxiety attack that sent me to the hospital and then had to recover before getting through my finals.

StickyCat: Oh my gods! Are you okay? I thought you were dead for a moment, but I'm just glad you're fine.

Po smiled at the text.

StickyCat: I have some news though. This might be my last lemon. I'm transferring schools and the move will be hectic.

The panda frowned. He liked StickyCat's story ideas. Sure, they were out there, but she always had a nice story that hooked him when he started writing.

JunkieBear: I'm sorry to hear that.

StickyCat: It's only temporary. I just need some time to get stuff in order.

JunkieBear: It's okay. I get it. I promise to finish up the story ideas.

StickyCat: Thanks. I really appreciate it. And please take care of yourself, okay? There's only one kind of person like you out there.

Po smiled wider, letting the words sink in a bit.

JunkieBear: Thanks. I really needed that.

They both signed off. Po let a sigh exit his mouth as he absentmindedly looked around the room. A silence washed over his body.

Now what?

 

Chapter 18

Po didn't realize the absolute freedom of being on campus during the summer. He could focus on one class and think about other things. 

The summer fell between his sophomore and Junior year. More time for accelerated work with fewer distractions. 

And fewer people. He took statistics, getting his math requirement out of the way. He also managed to shadow a newsletter in his spare time; a horrid experience that firmly rid him of any dreams of becoming a journalist. "NOOOOOO THANK YOU," He'd mutter. 

Po poured his energy into two things during that time.

Stats and his thesis. When Shifu heard the panda's thesis, he was slightly shocked. Crane was in the office when he heard it. "How do stories affect our sense of addictions?" 

"Stories have great power, Dr. Shifu. Just look at how we talk about addictions. They're always with poor or rich people loaded with drama," Po said with a hint of disgust. "But these stories never talk about how people get out of addiction because it's so long or complicated. We never look at the long-haul problems. I know this is branching into several disciplines-"

"Let's see," Shifu interrupted. "Psychology, anthropology, languages, history, biology, sociology, even philosophy, if we wanted to stretch it." 

"But it's a complex idea. Words have meaning, and if we can help addicts to become fighters, then I think it's worth it," Po said. 

Shifu lifted a bushy eyebrow. "You're more passionate about this than I thought you would be."

"I have reasons," Po smiled. Shifu okayed the process and the two finally set to work. Crane blew a sigh of relief as they exited the red panda's room. 

"I didn't think he would be okay with this. My professor's fine, but... this isn't your typical English paper."

"Disciplines need to be diverse anyway. No one's in a vacuum," Po explained. The crane nodded. "Anyway, now back to the lonely tragedy of my life."

"Really?"

"Most of my friends are gone for the summer."

"You can make new ones."

Po scoffed a bit, "Yeah, with the amount of women I 'fall in love with', I don't think that's a good idea."

"Then don't."

"Oh sure, since it's so easy for you to do with Viper?"

"Shut up!" Crane blushed. "Anyway, focus on the stress management but try and put the love interest on pause. At least until we get the thesis done. I know it's easier said than done, but-"

"No, you're right," Po sighed as they exited the English building. "I'm gonna go to the cafe and then the library. Gotta get started on this thing." 

"Alright see you," Crane waved his wing and flew away. 

Po gave a sigh. It felt like sighing was becoming a part of his life. He made his rounds from the cafe to the library, to his class, and back to his dorm. That's how most of his summer routine went. 

He sat down to write. After completing StickyCat's stories, Po tried other tropes and ideas, branching out as best he could. But the itch was still there. "Ughhh, why am I always horny when I shouldn't be," Po muttered. There wasn't much to do on campus other than school, research, and working out. Po scratched the side of his face and sighed. "Ugh calm down, Po. No need to get antsy," He said to himself. Getting up from his seat, he went for a walk. 

Jade University was a beautiful place. Something Po didn't realize with his hectic life. Since he wasn't doing the internship anymore, he had more free time to do more important things, but it also gave him time to slow down and see the campus. Aimlessly walking down the left side of the promenade, Po saw beautiful rose bushes growing in front of the psychology building that was a little ways a stop a slope. A small fountain met his eyes on the left. It was a fitting statue of Asclepius, the Greek god of medicine. 

Fitting since the Nursing building was right in front of it. Po shrugged and walked inside. 

"Why am I here?" he asked himself. The answer came readily. To get away from porn. Sometimes he would relapse, the lengths in between relapses were getting longer, but there was still room for better. 

"Better," He muttered. Would he ever get better?

The Nursing building had several halls for lectures and simulations. Traveling to the back of a long hall and up a stairwell, he found a computer lab with a large bookshelf in the back. The fuzzy carpet meshed the muted dark bluish-gray color of the walls.

Near the stack of knowledge was a feline looking at some large book. Po tilted his head. She looked nice. Very beautiful in fact. Peaceful. Like Po didn't want to disturb her otherwise he'd break the peaceful literary meditation. Almost calming. 

Strange things to say about a female tiger. 

Po walked on, chuckling to himself. "Jessica would say I'm stuck on dating cats." 

The panda walked through other departments before finally studying stats again in his dorm. He only got an hour in until Jessica called him.  

"Hey Po! How are you?"

"Good, I guess."

"What's wrong?" 

Po shifted around in his seat, "Nothing, it's just a little lonely around here. I'm kind of regretting to study during the summer."

"Don't," Jessica grumbled. "I just had some... words with the record's office. I might need to repeat a whole fucking year!" 

Po grimaced, "Dang, I'm sorry. Wait, isn't Bai a year behind you?"

"Yeah?"

"Sooooo is it really a bad thing that you have to repeat a year?" Po smirked. 

"Poooo, stop playing into my weaknesses," Jessica warned, though the panda could see her smirk through the phone. "So... laid any felines lately?"

Po chuckled, "Funny you should ask. I saw a tiger in the Nursing building and-"

"Nursing building? What are you doing there? Trying to get a nurse girlfriend?" 

"No, I was just stretching my legs. It's very quiet on campus. Anyway, I saw this tiger girl and I stopped myself from talking to her because I know what you would say," Po chuckled. 

The husky didn't. "Po, I meant that as a joke. You know that, right?"

"I know, I know. But right now I don't need a girlfriend. I need to focus on my studies... and my anxiety."

"So... you're giving up on finding a girlfriend?" 

"Not giving up, just... focusing on things that better myself for the future. No sense in getting into a relationship if I'm not ready for it."

The normally talkative dog said nothing for a while. "Po. Don't block people off."

"I'm not," Po said. "I'm just focusing on myself so when the right person comes, I'll be ready. Besides, there's... a lot of addictions that I have to deal with."

"How's that going?"

"Okay, I guess. I'm getting better, I think."

"Hmmm." 

"I'll be fine, Jess."

"Last time you said that you went to the hospital."

"I knew that was coming up," Po groaned. 

"I'll believe it when I see it. But don't be afraid of pulling down your pants if someone's asking."

Po rolled his eyes and sighed, "I'll try my best." He hung up the phone and got back to reading. 

After finishing his studies, the panda walked over to the main library where he saw an interesting sight near the computers. "Huh, she looks upset." The panda walked over to the person and quietly sat down. "Hey, Mia."

"Huh? Oh! Po!" The white wolf livened up immediately. "I didn't know you were here! How are you?"

"Uhhhh good, better," Po replied. "I don't know if you heard about what happened to me." 

"What happened?" The panda told her about the anxiety attack. He expected Mia to show shock or worry, but the white wolf surprised Po again with a neutral face. "Wow. I'm sorry," She finally said. 

"Are you okay?" Po finally asked tilting his head. "You look... sad. Lonely." Mia's head dipped a bit. "Ah! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay, what makes you think something's wrong?"

"It's just... most people aren't this... plain with someone going to the hospital."

The wolf's frown widened as she slowly said, "Po... could I.... tell you something? Private?" 

"Only if you want to," Po said. The wolf stayed silent for a long moment. 

She gave a loud sigh, "There's a... reason why I like being an extrovert. It's not just because I'm bubbly. I do all of this, the party, the shows, the talking, so I don't have to focus on myself. I... don't like how I look or who I am and... I like listening to other people because... because-"

"It distracts you from your problems?" Po finished. The white wolf threw her head into her hands with a groan. "Why are you so afraid of them?" 

"Because I just... growing up, I had a strict family that wanted me to act a certain way. They always told me to present my absolute best to people. But when dad died, it felt like... my best was never enough for my mom. I know she was grieving, but I couldn't make her feel better," She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dump this on you. I just-"

"I know I can't help much," Po said, gently wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "But I can listen. Now, what did you want to say?" 

Mia gave another sigh. "I just... whenever I'm alone I just keep hearing my family and other people say that I need to do more to keep appearances up. But..."

"Have they always told you this? That you're not good enough?"

"Well, no. They just wanted me to be the best," Mia replied. 

Po took a deep breath. "I know it would be hard, but I think it would be best to tell, at least your mother, how you feel about all of this." 

"She wouldn't listen."

"She doesn't have to listen. You have to announce," Po smiled, "It's not your job to make them listen, it's your job to speak your mind." 

Mia's lips slowly formed a small smile. She gave him a surprise hug. "Thank you, Po." 

"By the way, why are you on campus during the summer? If everything you said is true, doesn't this time get lonely?" Po asked, failing to notice an uptick of people on the other side of the library. 

"I needed to get away from my family," Mia sighed, "Besides, now that you're here, you can be a part of the Fandom club!" 

Po spun his head towards the other side and suddenly felt Mia pull his hand over towards the congregation of people. "You trapped me, you sly fox," Po murmured. 

"I'm a wolf, Po," Mia smiled charmingly. The panda groaned as he was dragged over to a large desk of people. Po scanned the line of glasses, anime shirts, and slender cats and geese around him. Po chuckled to himself. Did Mia think he was this much of a nerd?

"Hey, Mia. Who's your friend?" Asked an albino peacock who looked to be the head of the club by his smirk. 

"Shen, everyone, this is Po. A friend of mine." 

"Nice to meet you, Po," Shen said, eying Mia. "And how did our dear Mia trap you in this club?"

"Timing and the social convention rule of 'not refusing an invite in front of the person'," Po replied bluntly. 

"Ahh, that's her favorite one," Shen chuckled. 

"Sorry, I just... never knew there was a fandom club, and I don't really think I'd fit in." 

"Oh, so you wouldn't want to talk about our favorite show?" Shen smirked. "Carlos and I were just disagreeing on the movie Kung Fu Grizzly."

Po's eyes shrunk. "As fun as that sounds, I'm not the argumentative type." He could already feel the excited grin on Mia's face nearby. This was probably why she liked this club: seeing nerds fight.

Shen only grinned wider. "Oh but you might be interested in how I think Master Grizzly and Master Ligress are just friends and CAN not be love interests." 

A normal person would've just left and moved on with their day. 

But that was not the code of Fandom. 

Damn it. 

Po gave a long sigh, "As one prideful alien once said, 'You know, the funny thing is... I know you're playin' me... But you're right.'" The panda sat down and pointed his finger at the triumphant peacock. "Okay, first off!" 

And that was the end of Po's productivity for that day.

Chapter 19

The Junior year finally came and Po's thesis research was in full gear. He loved that his schedule was much lighter. He could focus more on his research, which was nearly done. Now, he spent most of his time in the library to socialize.

And to argue with Shen whenever he could. Though, by the continual smirk on his face and the smile on Mia's, Po guessed that they didn't mind.

There was one catch. He could feel the familiar jitters and trouble sleeping starting to creep back in. "Alright, alright, calm down. I think that's enough work," He told himself. He continued learning when to recharge but it was still a major learning curve.

But why? His goals were much different now. He wasn't pursuing women right now. He should be more relaxed. Right?

He talked with Gozin about it one day. The goose tilted his head. "So you've... stopped looking for a girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Honestly, I want to take this whole 'bettering myself' thing seriously. And I'm a Junior. Last summer showed me my social skills need work. It's not that I want more friends, but I just want to... relax a bit. Social interactions do that pretty well, right?"

"Depending on the person," Gozin paused. "In principle, self-improvement makes sense, but... can you actually do it?"

"Wow, thanks Doc."

"I'm serious, Po. I don't want you to lie to yourself."

I won't know if I don't try."

Gozin sighed, "That part is true. But don't block yourself from romantic relationships. Just because you're not looking for a relationship doesn't mean you should exorcise all possibilities of it from your life."

"And if I need to pass the grade?"

Gozin smiled, "There are more important things than grades. You know that."

Po huffed. Convincing Gozin was a fool's errand. Po wanted a relationship, but right now there were other things that he needed to do. "With the lighter study, what are you doing in your free time?"

"I decided to be part-time as a tutor. Teaching kids is nice, but I don't think it's for me," Po replied

"Hmmm, interesting," Gozin said. He glanced at the clock and stood up. "Well, I can say that you are growing, Po. And getting better. I hope you can appreciate that."

"Thanks, Doc," Po smiled. The panda left the office and walked over to the library. Instead of his usual place, he went passed the computers to the left where a small area of tables was spread around. This was the Tutor area. Because of Po's major, he decided to work as a writing tutor. It was mostly for selfish reasons. Exposing himself to other people's work gave him more ideas on how to express his own stories.

Po pulled up the list of people scheduled for tutoring. He'd still get paid whether people showed up or not, and the Tutor manager knew that he was well-liked. Most times, people didn't need help. Po was fine with this. He could work on his projects and thesis.

He did regret it a little bit, though. "Jessica's right, I'm becoming a library hermit."

Today, though, Po had only one client. Someone named-

"Ummm, are you Po?"

Po looked up from his laptop and saw a familiar sight.

It was the tiger he saw in the Nursing building. She wore a slightly loose white T-shirt underneath an open red flannel jacket. Plain blue jeans covered her legs with her backpack slung over her right side.

Po stood up and shook her hand, smiling, "Hi! I'm Po. You must be Tigress. Nursing major?"

"Actually Kinesiology," She smiled as she sat down.

"You mean... movement?" Po asked.

"It's a little more than that," the tiger replied.

"What do you want to do with that?"

"There's a lot. I just haven't figured it out yet," she said. "Why did you think I was a nursing major?"

"Oh, I thought I saw you in the Nursing building and I-"

"I study there. Much quieter than the library."

"Fair point. Anyways, let's get started," Po smiled. The panda helped the tiger with her basic English requirements. She was writing an essay, but Po had no trouble teaching her the needed changes. "Wow, you're a great student."

"I would hope so," Tigress smiled. "I have to be either way."

"Why?"

"Just... a part of my life, I guess," The feline sighed. "I'm just a little stressed. Being a part of the event board and learning my degree is... a lot."

"I can imagine. What about friends?"

"I'm a transfer. I don't have that many friends," Tigress shook her head. "I'm sorry, I'm not usually this-"

"Open?"

"I was gonna say pitiful."

Po smiled, "You're worried about your pride?"

"Is that a problem?" She glared.

"No, no. It's just... I know a lot of people who wouldn't let the pride go unless it killed them. It nearly did."

"Who's that?"

"Hi," Po smiled waving his hand. "Long story involving a hospital visit."

"Wow," Tigress said, truly shocked.

"But I had friends around to help me get through it," Po grinned. "So why don't I help you? I can give you a call and help you find some friends. If... you're okay with meeting some weird people."

"Give you... a call," Tigress said slowly.

"Yeah, that way I can show you around," Po said innocently.

Tigress lifted her eyebrow. "Are you... asking for my phone number?"

Po shrugged, "I mean if you're offering."

The tiger chuckled a bit. They exchanged numbers, and soon their tutor session was up. "Thank you, Po. I... really appreciate this. I'll be expecting your call."

Po smiled widely, chuckling a bit, "Of course. I'll figure out who I can invite." As the tiger left, Po packed his things and left for the Psychology building where he saw Crane looking over a stack of papers in the psych library. "Well?"

"The questionnaire you got worked pretty well. I think we can do something with this. The issue is why anyone would care."

"We're not in TRUE academia yet, Crane," Po smiled, "Right now, we're just trying to graduate. But if I had to guess, you could say, 'addiction creates a cycle that mimics the tales and generational stories that are passed down and yadda yadda yadda.'" The panda stopped his antics when he saw Crane's serious glare. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing just... Makes me think about my life."

Po quietly sat down across from Crane as the bird stared down into the paper. He wasn't reading them. His eyes glazed over them like they weren't in use. Like he was somewhere else. "Crane," Po softly called, "Why did you want to go into addiction therapy?"

The bird gave a long breath of air. "My father was an alcoholic. But even after my mother divorced him, I... learned the habit. For me it was just video games, but... it damaged my GPA. Even though my father wasn't in the picture, his habits affected my life. But... I thought I was alone until I started hearing about other people's addictions: Phone, porn, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, gambling, etc. I wanted to know more about this thing that everyone had. But no one seems to break."

The bird paused, "To break the cycle, you have to know that you're on the cycle."

Po stayed silent for a minute longer. "I hope I can take that lesson to heart," He said.

Crane smiled with a sigh, "I think you will. Especially after this thesis. Now, let's get moving. I have a date with Viper and-"

"WHAT?!"

"SHHHH!"

"Sorry, sorry, but you're dating Viper! That's awesome! You finally asked her out!"

"Yeah," Crane nervously grinned. "Anyway, let's get back to work."

The two worked until the day started to wane. Waving Crane goodbye, Po traveled back to his new dorm for the year. It was a large Co-ed dorm and the panda had no roommate this semester. It was definitely difficult, but his mind went to his talk with Crane. "Breaking the cycle, huh?"

Po sat at his desk pushed against the same wall where his door was. His larger bed was two bunk beds squished together and held together by a large rope. It was a quaint 'cell' as he liked to call it, but it was home.

Po opened up his laptop and started diving down a different rabbit hole than he thought he would: The addiction rabbit hole. "Wow, this stuff is crazy."

It took about two hours to come back out of that rabbit hole. In the end, Po couldn't help but feel the overwhelming amount of guilt he was used to when talking about addiction. But it was different. He felt more determined. There was a promised land. There was a ray of hope. He just had to be patient with it. Take it one day at a time.

But he still blamed himself as he went to bed.

Author's note: NINE-TEEN CHAPTERS LATER! The woman of the hour has arrived Ladies and Gentlemen. I'm sorry to keep yall waiting.

 

Chapter 20

The weekend came. Po slowly rose from his bed when he got a text from Jessica.

Hey. Me and some girl want to go to this nice brunch place. You want to come?

Po chuckled. It was a Sunday, so there wasn't much to do. His brain needed a break. Granted his focus needed work, but he was still trying to keep his stress levels down.

Sure.

Po stepped out of the Co-Ed door, hopped into his car, and drove over to the brunch place. It was on a small town-like street in a tiny shop that only housed 50 people at a time. As Po walked in, he scanned the room. "I wonder who's the other woman," Po muttered. He guessed it might be Bai, but it could also be Kayla. Po smirked. He'd have to ask about the baby. His eyes met icy blue irises and a familiar leather jacket. Jessica waved her hand, but Po didn't see anyone next to her. It wasn't until he sat at the booth next to the person that he saw familiar stripes.

"Oh! Tigress!"

"You two know each other?" Jessica asked.

"Not much, just... a little," Po chuckled lightly. The feline didn't seem amused. He gulped.

"I'm gonna hit the lou. I'll be back," Jessica said. The panda glared at the smirking canine. Was this a setup? As Jessica laughed, Po glanced back at the tiger, who only stared at her phone. She wasn't looking at anything, but that slight intense furrowing of her eyebrow set Po a little on edge.

"Uhhh, hey, did I do something wrong?" he asked timidly.

"What makes you say that?" She asked neutrally.

"Just... feel like you're a little upset with me."

Tigress sighed, setting her phone down. "Nothing, I... I guess I just expected you to call me."

"Huh?"

"After I gave you my number. I expected you to call."

Po's wide eyes blinked at the curveball flung at him. "Uhhh I'm sorry... I... I didn't know you... wanted me to. I usually don't call people the week after they give me their number."

Tigress raised her eyebrow. "That's... very specific. Why?"

"Because I don't want to come off as a stalker," Po chuckled. "I had this crush on someone, and it turns out being the simp made me seem like a stalker. We're still friends... actually she's more of my friend's girlfriend friend... thing, but yeah."

Tigress smiled at the bumbling of words. "So you let the person text first, I guess."

"Yeah, usually there's less communication issues."

"Hmm, I'm sorry for assuming."

"It's okay. It's natural. It's dangerous, but it's natural," Po joked.

Jessica returned just in time for the waiter to get their orders. "So, how do you know each other?" Tigress asked.

"She's my childhood friend," Po explained.

"Oh, and what are you like, Jessica?" 

"Oh no," The panda groaned.

"Po, don't do that," Jessica laughed.

"What? I just don't want to see this." 

The husky smirked at Tigress's visible confusion. "Well, I have a way with people. Some say I help them... explore things."

"You're bi," Tigress said.

"Proud of it."

"Interesting, what led you to figure it out?"

Jessica sniggered a bit, "I like seeing girls naked and I like seeing guys naked. Nothing to it."

"Yeah, but... when was your first... Aha moment?"

Po's eyes suddenly narrowed on the husky. "Actually, that's a good question. You've never told me how you figured out you were bi."

The husky thoughtfully looked up at the ceiling for a moment, "Well, if I had to guess, I think it started when I was at a friend's house in middle school or high school. Hell, I can't remember. Anyway, I really liked her. We joked about stuff, talked about guys, normal sleepover stuff. Then we got into truth and dare and I got dared to kiss her. Well, momma didn't raise a wuss-"

"Unless we're talking about pain up a person's butt."

"Po, shut up," Jessica glared at the snickering panda. "Anyway, I kissed her and I liked it. But I still kinda found guys attractive. I was a bit confused until I met Po."

"Wait, what?" Po said.

Jessica smiled, "Being around you helped me be myself. And for the first time, I had a safe space to figure out who I was. You weren't weirded out by me."

"I was."

"But you didn't stop being my friend," Jessica explained. "I mean I trusted my parents and they're cool, but... at the time telling them was a little too... bold for my taste. But I realized over time I do like being in charge."

"Is that because you weren't in charge at home or something?" Tigress asked.

The husky rolled her eyes, "No. It's not like a trauma response or something. It's just something I like doing."

"Wow, Jess. I didn't think you thought of me so highly. It's so touching," Po sniffled. Jessica chuckled and patted the panda on the head. "Okay, now to the big question. How the heck did you two meet?"

"She tried to flirt with me."

"WHAT?!"

"I did not!" Jessica barked.

The tiger held a tiny smirk on her face, "No, but seeing Po's reaction was worth the lie. She's helping me with my business minor."

"Business minor? Why?"

"Business know-how comes in handy. Especially if you're trying to start up a company," Tigress winked.

Po chuckled. He liked Tigress. She was a bit of a tease but genuinely great to be around. "So I have to ask, why aren't you two dating?" Tigress asked.

Jessica laughed, "You don't hold back, do you? I like it."

"Over time, we just liked being friends. I've come to see her as a crazy sister," Po said.

"Are you dating anyone, Po?" Tigress asked.

"No, right now, I'm just focused on my studies." 

"Not that he isn't popular with the ladies," Jessica teased.

"I'm not. I'm really not. I just have some... funny stories with a lot of crushes."

"Hmm, I see. Can't wait to hear some of those stories," Tigress smirked. Curious yet confident. Something that seemed to radiate from the tiger. Po liked her. She would be a great friend to have around.

After the food came and the eating was done, they went their separate ways with Po going to the dorms. Of course, Po was surprised to see Jessica pulling up beside his parking spot. "Hey, Jess. What's up?"

"Nothing, I need to talk with you about Tigress," she said with both seriousness and excitement. "Po, that tiger seemed interested in you."

"What? No, she's just being playful. It's fine."

"No, I think she's the one."

"Nah, she's just a good friend, Jess. Besides, I'm still getting over old crushes, remember?"

"Dude, half the questions she asked were about you."

"And the other questions were about you," Po tilted his head. "Why are you saying this all of a sudden?"

Jessica sighed, "Because I don't want you to push her away just because she's not your type."

"Firstly, I don't have a type. Secondly and recently, my type has been 'I don't like him like that'."

Jessica crossed her arms. "Sounds like you're scared."

"I... I... Goodbye, Jessica," The panda grumbled and marched to his dorm. He could hear Jessica scoffing back to her car.

They had small fights like this. It was never major. But the husky got under Po's skin sometimes. As he walked into his room and plopped onto the bed, he tried to find some way around what Jessica said. He shook his head.

"No, there's no way she-"

Ping

Po looked at his phone. The website where he usually posted his stories finally got an app. It made replying to people online much easier. This wasn't always the best thing in the world, but the site was slow enough for Po to recharge weekly.

That didn't matter at the moment. He saw a familiar name.

StickyCat: Hey how are you?

JunkieBear: Hey! How are you? How was the school move and stuff?

StickyCat: Good. How have you been?

JunkieBear: Good, I guess. Got any good stories?

StickyCat: Actually I need some... personal advice.

Po tilted his head. This was probably one of the few times they ever mentioned anything personal.

JunkieBear: I don't know if I can help.

StickyCat: It's nothing major. I was just wondering. If you were a girl, how would you get a guy's attention? Someone that you like. I think the guy I like is a little...oblivious.

Po narrowed his eyes in thought, rubbing his chin.

JunkieBear: Honestly, I think most guys think women aren't interested in them, so sometimes it might just pay to be blunt.

StickyCat: Have you ever done that with anyone you liked?

JunkieBear: Yeah, one time a 'friend' of mine that I liked told me she was pregnant.

StickyCat: WHAT???!!!

JunkieBear: We weren't friends with benefits. Anyway, I was shocked but then she asked me if I wanted to feel the baby. She had just figured out she was pregnant.

StickyCat took a little longer to reply.

StickyCat: Was she... lying?

JunkieBear: It was a prank.

The panda actually grumbled at the crying laughing emojis sent his way.

StickyCat: I'm sorry, but I can imagine you were really upset.

JunkieBear: Well, after that, my crush for her faded and I told her up front that I had that feeling towards her. She was... surprised, but I think she was thankful that I was just upfront with her. I was going through a rough time and started isolating. I guess she felt guilty. I'm glad I told her. She would've been blaming herself if things got worse.

StickyCat: So you're saying just be blunt with him? I don't know if I can do that.

JunkieBear: The other option is to just learn more about him. Maybe your crush on him will fade after you realize he's not really for you.

StickyCat: I guess. Thank you. I really needed this.

JunkieBear: Don't mention it. :)

Po smiled at his phone as he put it away. Though small, it was the uplifting he needed.

He couldn't help but wonder if she was real, though. So much of the online world began to become more and more artificial. Was she real? Was she fake? 

Po shook his head. Either way, she helped him feel better. That's all that mattered. Po glanced at his clock. 11:34 am.

"I need to clear my head," Po muttered. He threw on his gym clothes and headed out. He made his way over to the gymnasium but spotted someone he thought he recognized going into the auditorium. "Hey," He said to the receptionist. "Is anything going on in the auditorium?" Po asked. When the receptionist shook their head, Po walked over and opened the double doors. 

There doing her private body workout in the relative emptiness of the auditorium was a familiar white wolf. "Mia?"

"AAAH! Po! Uhhh," The wolf covered herself like she was naked. Her blue sports shorts and small t-shirt weren't that revealing.

"What are you doing here?" 

"I uhhhh ummm."

"And why are you covering yourself?" 

"I... I told you, I don't like how I look. So... normally I just jog on the trails, but... this time I decided to try some exercises here, and... ughh. This doesn't make any sense, does it?" Mia groaned, slapping her hands over her face. Po gently pulled her hands away. 

"You don't look ugly, Mia. You know that, right?" Po said. It was true. The wolf had a slight hourglass figure to her body, though not exaggerated. Perky B-cup breasts, a firm fit rear, slim waist with a little love around the midsection. And for some reason, her outfit reminded Po of those school girls in anime. 

Mia sighed, "I know I look okay, it's just... I don't like how I look." 

"Why?"

"Because it's not enough."

"For what?"

"I... I don't know!" Mia sighed. "I'm a mess." 

"Heh, welcome to the Mess club," Po smiled. "You know, for an extroverted girl, you're pretty unsure of yourself."

"When you're used to people picking a part who you are," Mia sighed. "It's normal." 

Po gently hugged her. She practically melted into his arms. "I'm sorry."

"Mmm, it's okay. Thanks for the hug. I needed that." 

"Maybe you should talk to someone about this. I know how hard self-esteem can be." 

Mia groaned, "You're gonna recommend Gozin to me, aren't you?"

"He is very good at his job." 

"I just... won't it be... awkward?"

"Oh most definitely," Po said bluntly. 

"And what will others think if-"

"Aren't you done with worrying what others will think of you?" Po asked gently. "You choose how to live your life. Truthfully or deceptively. Other people? They're just gonna have to live with it." Mia sighed as the panda slung an arm around her shoulders. "Come on, I think you need to get outside more." 

"Funny, the introverted panda telling the social butterfly she needs to spread her wings," Mia chuckled. 

"Wow, didn't know you were poetic."

"You have to be in marketing." The panda laughed only briefly. Mia's head started to dip. "But... what if people don't like how I look?" 

"Fuck them."

"Po!" 

"There's nothing wrong with how you look," Po said firmly. "Don't worry, I'll be with you." The normally hyperactive girl suddenly bowed her head in shame. She took a deep breath. 

"Okay," Mia exhaled. She grabbed the 'covering' clothes she used to get into the gym and walked out with Po. The terrible light of the outside world blinded her for a moment. They made their way to the gym lobby. People she knew passed her by, gave her a wave, chatted with her, and said they loved her outfit. 

Po smiled widely, "How do you feel?" 

"Still a little nervous, but... good," Mia smiled, hugging Po tightly.

Very tight. "Ah! Wow, didn't think you were this strong!" Po grunted, rubbing his back. 

"Sorry. But... thanks."

"You think you can handle just taking a walk around campus?" Po suggested. "I could go with you if you want?"

Mia took a deep breath. "Yeah, I could do that." 

Walking side by side, the wolf's shy nature slowly left her, and she bubbled back to her extroverted self. Somehow or another, she started talking with a friend and lost track of Po. 

Po didn't mind. He smiled from afar, watching the extroverted woman live like her old self. It was a small step, but it would do.

Po gave a long contented sigh. This Fall semester was going to be interesting.

 

Chapter 21

The next day, Po walked out of the Psychology building after his usual meeting with Crane. The thesis was still going strong with minimal delays. Po just hoped it would stay like that. Megan was taking a particular course that she wanted Po's help with, so the panda walked over to the library to do their regular study session. Passing the library's lobby, he found the golden retriever behind a window with her normal bored face looking at her phone.

But he also saw a speck of orange in the corner of his eye. "Po?"

The panda turned. "Tigress! I didn't expect to see you here."

"I needed some books for a research project," Tigress answered.

Po smirked, "Are you sure you're not just following me around?"

"N-No!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Po laughed. "Is something wrong, you look a little tense."

Tigress looked at the exit of the library for a moment with a surprisingly stern face. She gave a great sigh, "I'm... trying to talk with someone and... I'm afraid of messing up."

"A crush?"

"Yeah."

"Are you friends with him... her-"

"Him."

"Just wondering," Po said, "In that case, I'd say just wait. Nothing wrong with just getting to know them a little longer, unless it's romantic."

Tigress paused, pursing her lips together. They were surprisingly fullish, Po noted, but he quickly shook that observation off. "What if... it is?"

"Then I'd say wait longer so your feelings don't cloud your judgment."

Tigress nodded. "Where are you going?"

"I'm studying with a friend," Po said, pointing to Megan.

The tiger's eyes widened. "She's pretty."

"She's just a friend. Acquaintance, really."

"I... didn't ask about romantics."

Po smiled, "I know how people's minds work from time to time."

"Really?" Tigress suppressed a small laugh that made the panda narrow his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Mmm, nothing," Tigress replied, "I'll see you later. Hopefully not giving you a... stalker impression."

"I was just kidding, Tigress," Po smiled. The feline left and the panda walked into the study room. "Alright, sorry I'm late."

"Who's the tiger?"

"You mean you looked up from your phone?"

"I'm not glued to it 24/7," She said. She noticed the pause was going on longer than normal and looked up. She saw Po with half-lidded eyes and an unimpressed slight frown on his face.

"That's a lie and you know it."

"Hm, not as much as you think," Megan replied. "I only ask because she seemed interested in you."

Po narrowed his eyes sharply. "You really looked up from your phone."

"Po."

"Look, as long as I've known you-"

"Which has only been a year," Megan added.

"I've always thought you were ignoring the rest of the world. I'm surprised you hear me half the time."

Megan sighed, "I only do it so much because the world doesn't take the time to get to know me."

"Oh... I... see. Sorry," Po slowly replied. Now he felt like an ass.

"Don't be. I could be more... communicative," She said with a slight smile. Po gave a short laugh that quickly died.

"Megan, is it true that women can pick up on sexual interest more often than men?"

"Yes, but it's... hard to explain."

"It always is," Po sighed. "Alright, enough about that. On to you. What are you struggling with in Literature of the 1800s?"

After the study session, Po felt his stomach roar for food. He walked over to the cafeteria where he found a familiar tiger sitting by herself. Po smiled and sat next to her. "Hey, are you sure you're not following me?"

"Po! Oh, I'm... not trying," She said, slightly nervous. "I know I can come on a bit strong for some people."

"It's okay, I was just joking. But... I can see why."

"Why what?"

"Why you seem to come on strong?"

"Why?"

"You look serious when you take your work seriously."

"People don't?"

"Most people don't care about their work that much. If they care too much, it becomes a kind of perfectionism," Po explained.

Tigress frowned slightly, "Yeah, I know what that's like."

Po was about to ask what was wrong but a large hand slapped onto his back. "DAHH! I've got to start charging people for doing that!"

"Hey, hey, sorry, for scaring you," Tai Lung smiled. His eyes widened when he saw the tiger. "And... who is this?"

"Tai Lung, this is Tigress. She's a transfer. Tigress, this is Tai Lung. He's a physical therapist major and a pain in my butt," Po muttered.

The tiger smiled and shook the snow leopard's hand. "It's good to meet you. How do you know Po?"

"A friend of his and me whip him into shape," Tai Lung smirked.

"While losing to me at volleyball," Po grinned back.

"That last rematch was a fluke and you know it," the spotted feline grumbled. Po rolled his eyes. "And how do you know our... 'kind' panda over here?"

"He tutored me for English and... we keep running into each other," Tigress slowly said. The snow leopard quirked up an eyebrow but said nothing more about the subject.

"Well, I'm glad that you find each other's company... bearable."

"Bad pun, Tai," Po grumbled.

"But if I could simply ask you to pardon us for a moment. I think me and the panda here have some... catching up to do," Tai Lung smiled. Tigress smiled back and nodded while the snow leopard pulled Po out of his seat. He swiftly pulled the panda over a few tables so Tigress couldn't hear.

"Whoa, whoa! Where's the fire?"

"Alright, start talking," Tai Lung asked, crossing his arms.

"It's not what you think. She's new and she's just a friend," Po explained.

The snow leopard raised an eyebrow, "And she just so happens to keep running into you."

"Would you stop it? That's just coincidence," Po sighed, "Look, stop looking into this so much. I don't want her to be uncomfortable around me because my friends are teasing me, alright?"

"I'm more worried about you missing a chance."

"She's just a friend."

"Hmm," Tai Lung hummed, "Well, just make sure she doesn't hear you saying that. But I'll back off the teasing."

"Thank you, and please spread the word," Po groaned. Tai Lung nodded and left the panda. Shaking his head, Po grumbled under his teeth as he sat back down next to Tigress.

"Is something wrong?"

"Hm? No, no. Tai Lung is just a big brother sometimes. Worries about me too much."

Tigress smiled gently, "It seems you're well cared for."

"I guess so."

"So... you do volleyball?" Tigress smirked, "I wouldn't have guessed that."

"Oh, I'm a walking unpredictability. Stick with me, and I'm sure you'll have fun that you couldn't find anywhere else."

The tiger's smirk only grew. "I'll keep that in mind." Tigress stood up when she finished eating. "Well, I'm going back to my dorm. That is unless you want to talk more about your... unpredictability."

"I could stretch my legs. You're at the girls' dorm, right?"

"No, the Co-ed."

"Really?" Po said with his eyes lighting up. "I'm right there too! Wait, how old are you?"

"I'm a transfer, remember?"

"Right, right, sorry about that," Po nervously laughed. The two walked down the stairs and over to the Co-Ed dorm, chatting up a storm where Po smiled more and more. It was only until they got to her hall that he realized where she lived. "Are... you right next door to me?"

"Room 14?"

"Room 15," Po answered.

"Yeah, I'm right next door."

"Wow, what are the odds," Po smiled. In the back of his mind, he felt strange about this. Uneasy yet not uncomfortable. It felt... natural yet effortful. A weird combination.

Po shook his head when he saw the tiger's lips move. "I'm sorry what?"

"I asked what kind of hobbies do you have?"

"Other than being weird?" Po chuckled. Tigress nodded. "I write a lot."

"Stories?"

"Yeah."

"What kind?"

"Uhhh, all kinds," Po said, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's kind of the reason why I became an English major."

"So do you write some... dark stories?" Her question dripped with intrigue. Po rubbed the back of his neck more intently, grimacing a bit.

"Yeah, not really. But I do some kind of risqué stuff," Po confessed, "I don't... really tell people about it that much because... it's part of a different problem I have."

"You mean porn."

"I... Uhh... yeah," Po sighed, hanging his head. Well, there went the friendly relationship with this girl.

"Why are you so upset about it?"

"Because it's bad. At least for me," he said.

"Po, that's not you."

"But it's a part of me."

"But it's not you," Tigress empathized. "Do you... look at it a lot?"

"I've been trying to get better. Been away from it for about two weeks now. I go to therapy for it, though," Po sighed. Might as well tell the truth since they were in this hole.

"Why?"

"I want to make sure this doesn't affect my life or my relationships. But most girls don't let something like this slide, even if the guy tries to get better," Po frowned and sighed, "I get it if this is too much and you don't want to-"

"I'm not afraid of it, Po," Tigress smiled gently, "I just got to know you. Besides, a lot of people-"

"I don't care," Po firmly interrupted. "I don't care if a lot of people look at this stuff. I don't want to."

The tiger paused, a bit shocked yet interested. She finally smiled,  "I can already tell you try your best at everything, even at this."

"Of course," Po said as if it were common sense, "No point in being dull."

The tiger suddenly hugged him, catching him off guard. "It's okay, Po. I don't mind."

"I... thank you, Tigress," Po smiled, "I appreciate it."

He had never been with someone like this. He couldn't remember the last time he didn't have some kind of insecurity rise because of some innocent comment a person made that made him spiral into a hole of self-defeating lies. She knew the worst of it, and yet she was still willing to be there.

"I want to keep her around," Po smiled softly a few days later when he sat in Gozin's office, "She's a good friend and... I can see a good heart in her."

The panda jumped at the sound of Gozin facepalming his bill. "Uhhh, Doc?"

"Po. I'm going to break professionalism and tell you point blank. She LIKES you! And it's obvious you like her."

"UGH! Why is everyone saying that!" Po stormed up from the sofa. "I don't want a romantic relationship right now!"

"Are you scared?"

"I have a lot of stuff going on right now: thesis, graduation, stress management, you name it. I need time to get my life together before I invite someone else into this... 'me' mess!"

"And if she wants to be a part of that?" Gozin asked.

"I..." Po paused. He sat back on the sofa with a great thud and sighed, "Who would do that?"

"Someone who wants you... all of you," Gozin explained. "Your childhood friend, Jessica, did it."

"Yeah, but she's my friend."

"And? Shouldn't the person you love be one of your best friends?" Gozin asked. Po stared without saying a word. The goose looked at the clock. "Either case, it's something to consider."

As Po left the session, his feet carried him down the promenade towards the library. "What if... they want to be a part of my life?"

He hadn't considered it before. It made sense once he thought about it. He couldn't keep people in his life if he was the best person in the world. But he couldn't get rid of them if he was the worst. People chose to be with him.

But that's what scared him even more. Was this a choice or just everyone getting into his head?

"PO!"

"AHHH!" The panda swung his head to the husky that was standing right next to him. "Oh! Jessica, what are you doing here?"

"I was calling you for a minute. You look out of it. What's up?"

Po sighed and sat on a nearby bench. "Oh no, it's that serious?" Jessica asked.

"It's something from Gozin. He thinks Tigress likes me."

"Okay, so he's old but not blind."

"It's just... I never thought that someone would or could want to be with me. Aside from the... you know, there's a lot about me that I don't want other people to be afraid of."

Jessica narrowed her blue eyes, "Sounds to me like you are scared."

"I'm scared out of my mind," Po confessed.

"Of what, though? The thought of settling for one person?"

"Why would that be an issue? Isn't the whole point of dating trying to find someone you WANT to settle down with?"

"Some people aren't mature enough to know that. So... are you afraid of messing up, or being rejected?"

"I'm scared of the pain," Po said with a trembling voice. He grasped his head and exhaled sharply. "I don't want to be a wreck if things go badly. If things get tough. I'm just... scared of that pain."

"So... you're scared of... life?"

Po raised his head and stared at Jessica. She smiled, slightly smug but mostly in an understanding way. "Looks like you finally got your head in gear... and you grew a pair."

"You try and propose to Bai and then come talk to me," Po remarked. He bounced off the bench. "Anyway, I have to go to the library?"

"What about Tigress?"

"Where do you think she is?" Po smirked over his shoulder before darting to the library. Slightly rushing into the land of books, Po looked around to find any speck of orange fur. "Okay, where is she? If she's not here then- Wait, what the heck am I gonna say to her?! Ugh! No, no, I'm not going to freak out like this. There's no reason to panic. If she doesn't like me, then fine, we just go back to friends. If she does... Oh gods if she does, what the heck then?"

His darting, fluttering eyes finally fixated on the tiger in one of the study rooms. She stared intently at her computer, quickly typing up something. Taking a deep breath, Po walked over to her.

Ping!

He stopped. Reaching into his pocket, he got a PM note from someone.

StickyCat: Hey, Junkie, I have something to ask you.

Po narrowed his eyes. He glanced between the tiger and his phone. Tigress had stopped typing but she seemed like she was eagerly awaiting something.

JunkieBear: What is it?

Po watched and waited. Almost immediately, Tigress took a deep breath and started typing.

Ping!

StickyCat: I'm really scared to ask this guy out and I really like him.

JunkieBear: Have you tried talking to him?

StickyCat: Like I said he's oblivious, but now I'm worried that he doesn't want a relationship. Or anyone like me for that matter.

Po could see the sad frown creasing Tigress's lips through the study room window. He quickly hid behind a row of books, peaking out the corner to see her reactions.

He took a deep breath and started texting.

JunkieBear: What are you afraid of?

StickyCat: Well, you've seen the stuff I write or want to write about. Don't you think he's going to be... grossed out?

Po chuckled. StickyCat's suggestions weren't gross, though some of them were a little out there. A couple of dickgirls there, a few transformations here, and a lot of female/male domination in various forms, but it almost always had a loving engaging script to it. The characters always felt real.

Po smiled wider.

JunkieBear: I think, if he really likes you, he'll accept all of you. Do you accept him?

StickyCat: Of course I do. He... does have a porn problem, but he is working on it and going to therapy."

JunkieBear: You're already defending him?

StickyCat: Is that a problem?

Po could see from his hiding spot that the tiger was both glaring and gritting her teeth. Whether she was being protective or concerned, he couldn't know for sure.

JunkieBear: No, I'm just surprised that someone like you is this scared.

StickyCat: I've had boyfriends that didn't want my... preference... or me. I changed who I was to fit their tastes. I never expressed myself because of that. Like I had to be someone else for the relationship. I stayed away from boys for three years because of that.

JunkieBear: And you're clean?

Po immediately regretted his word choice when he saw the tiger mutely growl through the window.

StickyCat: YES I'M FREE FROM STI'S IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ASKING! I get tested regularly.

JunkieBear: Sorry about that. That was completely rude of me. Ultimately, it shouldn't matter.

Po looked at Tigress, smiling.

JunkieBear: Someone should allow you to be you and push you to be someone YOU want to be. If the relationship isn't making you a better person, then it might not be worth it. Is he making you feel like a better person?

StickyCat: I think so. All I know is I don't think I've ever felt more at peace with someone who's also so attractive.

Po chuckled his nervous energy off his shoulders. He could feel his cheeks burning a bit.

JunkieBear: He sounds like a great guy. Anyway, I have to go. Sorry, I don't have any better advice to give you.

StickyCat: It's okay. You made me realize that I do care about him. Thanks.

Po took a deep breath and walked over to Tigress's study room, knocking. "Po!" She opened the door and let him in. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came to see how you're doing... and to get some stuff done on a project, but... I think I can take a rest from that, today," Po said, slowly sitting down next to her. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Just... talking to a friend," She smiled gently.

"Not a boyfriend, I hope," Po lightly joked.

"No, just... someone who's gotten me out of my shell."

"What do you mean?"

"I had strict parents growing up. I didn't really know how to express myself except by writing. Even after my parents became more lenient over time, I still felt... caged. After a while, I found this guy online who wrote the kind of stories I liked. So, I sent him writing ideas, and... he's been a great help and friend."

"He's... not a senior citizen or-"

"No, Po!" Tigress grumbled and rolled her eyes. "He's probably my age. And besides, he's... not the person I have eyes on."

"Oh! So there is someone?"

"Nosy," Tigress smirked.

"No, I... just have a funny feeling I know who it is," Po smirked back.

"O-O-Oh?" The tiger stuttered.

The panda smiled and rose from the table. "Why don't we get some food? You look like you've been studying a lot."

"Not really, but I could get some food," She smiled. She grabbed her stuff and slung it into her backpack.

"You know, not gonna lie," Po grinned cheekily. "You remind me of this girl online. I didn't know her name, but she goes by the name StickyCat. You know her?" The color in Tigress's eyes sank away as her throat swallowed hard. Po could see her left hand clenching the strap of her backpack.

Then her face fell for a moment like she realized something. She socked Po in the shoulder. "OW! What was that for?"

"You know I like you, Po. Or should I say JunkieBear? That's why you were acting strange all of sudden," She remarked. She punched him again.

"AHHH! What was that for?!"

"For asking if I was clean!"

"Okay, okay, I deserve that one. I... typed it before I thought. I'm so sorry."

"Ugh, I'm so embarrassed," Tigress covered her face. "I can't believe this."

Po tenderly took her hands away from her face and smiled, "Don't be upset. I... I like you too. And no I'm not just saying that because I got confirmation."

"So... you're not...grossed out by me and my... fantasies?"

"Definitely not grossed out by you. And your fantasies are much better than mine. At least they're more heartfelt."

Tigress gave a tiny brave smile, still trying to avoid the panda's alluring jade eyes. "Thank you."

"Did you... still want to get something to eat?"

"Yes, I would like that," Tigress grinned. They left the library together, quiet yet smiling.

 

Chapter 22

The start of Junior year was jam-packed. Po busily typed out the last bits of his introduction in Dr. Shifu's office. Then the red panda came in. He wiggled his nose and glasses as he looked over some papers. "I see you're doing well. The changes to the thesis are good," Shifu said.

The panda didn't say anything. He was laser-focused on completing the last word. Shifu smiled a bit and took his seat. It wasn't until he heard the typing stop that Po finally lifted his head. "Oh! Dr. Shifu! When did you get in here?"

"A while ago. I could tell you were focused. I didn't want to intrude," Shifu replied. "I was just saying the changes were good. I hope this work isn't increasing your anxiety."

"I'm fine. I think. It hasn't been bad in a while," Po explained. "But I did have a lesson in finances."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I ate out with someone and... being chivalrous cost me more than I thought," Po sighed with a slight twinkle in his voice.

The red panda raised his eyebrow. "A girl?"

"Y-Yes."

"You're finally dating someone?"

"What do you mean FINALLY!"

"To be honest, I thought you would've dated Megan."

Po rolled his eyes. "Dr. Shifu, I'm just talking with someone. That's it. Besides, I'm not even sure I'm really 'in love' with her."

"Really?"

"I don't know, It just doesn't feel like love."

"And what do you think love is supposed to feel like?"

Po shrugged, "I... I don't know. I thought it would be a little more... exciting?"

"Like a crush?"

"I guess."

"But what does it feel like now?" Shifu asked.

Po leaned back into his chair, tapping his finger to his chin. "Honestly, it feels... soft. Like quiet and comfortable."

"That's usually a marker that you've passed from a crush into actual love."

"I'm not into romantics, Dr. Shifu," Po lied with a roll of his eyes.

The red panda tilted his head. "Why are you so scared?"

The large panda sighed, "I have a lot of flaws that could mess up this thing."

"No one is perfect, Po. I'm sure she has flaws that she'd want to work on too. Now, back to the thesis. You're doing well, but we're still a little behind. You may need Crane's help to catch up. I want to get the large stuff done by the week before fall break."

Po looked at his watch. "He should be at the psychology library right now," He said, "I'll pass by." The panda grabbed his things and shuffled out of the door.

"And Po! Try not to forget your thesis while you're losing money to the restaurants on your... love meals."

"Thanks, Dr. Shifu," Po grumbled. He walked out of the department and up the slight incline to the psychology building. "Huh, I'm getting better at walking around here." Climbing the last steps, he swung into the library only to see a striped lady sitting at the table. "You know," Po said, calling her attention, "I still say you're stalking me."

"It's a small campus, Po."

"Hmm. What are you doing here in the psychology building, though?"

"It's part of my major elective."

Po lifted an eyebrow. "Kinesiology?"

"You'd be surprised how much people 'think' their problems into reality," Tigress smirked. Po's smile only lasted a second. "What's wrong?"

The panda sighed and sat down next to her. "I... Can I be honest?" Tigress nodded. "I'm really scared of messing this up. I mean... the whole reason why I just wanted to be friends with you was because I wanted to understand women better. Or at least fix my flaws."

Tigress chuckled a bit, "Well, you couldn't have figured that out just by one woman. And I'm hardly perfect, Po."

"To me you are."

"Flirt," Tigress smirked, "You barely know me."

"And yet I can tell you're an intense dedicated woman who wants to prove something."

The tiger's lips slowly formed a frown. "Sometimes, I wish I wasn't. My parents were strict, but more importantly, they were almost always telling me what to do. And what I should aim for. They weren't as overbearing as you think, but it was enough to make me question myself almost constantly. My friends' mothers always said, 'Why can't you be more like Tigress?'." The feline bowed her head. "Sometimes, I wish I was normal. Or at least average. But I know there's no such thing."

"There isn't," Po said heavily, "But I understand what your parents were trying to do. Give you a determination to work hard and smart for what you want. Not that many people have that. Now, you can work for whatever you want."

"Yeah, but should I?" Tigress gritted her teeth slightly, "I... I can't get rid of that question. Sometimes, I wish I could just let go of the pretense of being this dedicated woman and relax."

Po gave a long breath and delicately rested his hand on hers. "I get that."

"You do?"

"You're hard on yourself. Even if your parents aren't anymore, you can't get rid of that voice in your head that says you should be doing more. But this stuff takes time. Time you won't get back. So enjoy each day, and don't worry so much about tomorrow. When you study, you focus hard for a time and then rest hard for a time. You keep switching between high intense focus to low relaxed recovery. The burden's lighter."

"I didn't know you were so knowledgeable about this," Tigress smirked.

"I dabble," Po smiled.

"It's... hard to shut off that voice. My parents even warned me not to date anyone in college until my studies were finished. They didn't want a repeat of my last boyfriends. I nearly flunked because of it."

"Oh! Well, that settles it then," Po smirked. "I'm gonna make sure that you succeed."

"Po, I don't want to succeed for other people. I want to succeed for myself, but... the lines are so... blurred."

"Well, if your success helps others, wouldn't that still be good?"

Tigress chuckled, "I hadn't thought about it like that."

"Maybe because you don't want to carry your parent's view of the world. I think you secretly want to be a rebel, but... there's a better way of doing it."

"How did you do it?"

"I stopped worrying about things I couldn't control. I focus on the moment. My brain naturally defaults to the past or future. You have to work at being present. Appreciate it," Po smiled. The tiger smiled back. He couldn't place his finger on it, but the tiger's many different smiles all felt... beautiful? No. Real? Closer.

Alive.

That was it. Alive. He took a shaky breath, snapping himself back to the present. "Anyway, I should get back to work. I'm supposed to be meeting up with Crane and-"

"You called?"

Tigress and Po looked at the doorway of the library to see a white bird leaning on the doorpost, smiling smugly.

"Uhhh, how long have you been there?" Po asked.

"The whole time."

"Riiighht," Po grimaced while Tigress covered her laughter with her hand.

A while after Po and Crane started working, the panda scrambled to his dorm and threw on his gym clothes. As he was exiting the Co-ed dorm, he saw a leopard waiting for him. "Oh! Tai Lung, what's up?"

"I was just about to go to the gym. I was gonna text you, but I see you're already here."

Po raised his eyebrow. "It looks like you were waiting for me."

"I saw you go in in a rush. Figured you were trying to get to the gym," Tai Lung grinned as they walked on. Passing across freshly cut lawns, Po saw the snow leopard take a deep breath. "So... Tigress."

"Don't."

"I'm not trying to tease you."

"I..." The panda sighed, "Alright, I... like her."

There was a long pause.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Do you want to date her?"

"Well, maybe. I don't know. Love is a lot different than I thought it was."

"Were you thinking it's like those romances and pornos?" Tai Lung smirked.

Po chuckled deeply at the irony. While knowing that porn was fake, Po didn't think the romances were so wrong. "No, but... I don't know. I thought it would be different."

"Hmm, I don't think true love is about falling in love. I think it's kinda like... finding yourself in love."

"Yeah... like it's... so quiet. Almost like a... good trap."

Tai Lung smiled, slapping the panda on the back. "That's the best kind of love."

The two reached the gym and walked into the weight area. Of course, they found Nora, but she seemed to be coaching or encouraging someone.

Someone with stripes that were becoming a little too familiar on campus. "Whoa," Po mumbled. Tigress was doing pull-ups with tight gym pants that showed off a leafy vine stretching up to her strong-looking hips. Surprisingly muscular hips. Thick thighs with a rear Po wondered how he missed before. It was bubbly and perky, beautifully round. If he had to guess, it was maybe 45-46 inches around.

She wore a black sports bra, the partial bane of his existence. It stopped just above her soft toned abs. Faint lines curved around along the sides. Her arms flexed and relaxed to bring her body and a 45lbs plate up and down.

It didn't help that the bra looked like it was a D cup, or maybe DD! All Po knew was the soft squishy looking mounds could fit comfortably in his hands.

Now if only I could get my hands on them.

Po shook his head as the tiger slowly came down. "Heh, easy," Nora said.

"That's my new PR," Tigress laughed full of endorphins.

"Damn," Nora smirked. She saw Po walking over with Tai Lung.

"Hey, stalker."

"Po, don't even start," Tigress said.

"I'm just saying."

"How do I know you're not stalking me?" Tigress smiled smugly.

"Uhhh I... uhhhh. Okay, fair point," Po shakily said. His eyes tried their best not to look at her sweat-glistened cleavage and-

Bad brain! Down!

"I didn't know you knew such a badass tiger, Po."

"Neither did I. Though I'm a little jealous that you can do weighted pull ups."

"Po, you should know why," Tigress smirked.

"I know, I know. Don't make bamboo produce rice."

"What?" Nora asked.

"It's a Chinese Idiom," Tigress, Tai Lung, and Po said. (A/n: It's not but it makes sense for the area.)

"I didn't know you were this fit. You never told me what kind of exercise you liked," Po mentioned.

"Is it obvious now?" Tigress smirked.

"Not... really. Although I'm wondering if this is because of your major." Tigress nodded. "Hmm, maybe you can give me some pointers. That way I don't have to deal with Nora and Tai Lung's abuse."

Nora laughed, "He's overreacting. I'm not that hard on him."

"My dad had to get me new pants, you know," Po said. "And guess what? This was the day I couldn't even feel my legs! Do you know how hard it is to try on pants after leg day?"

The lioness laughed, "You whine way too much. My boyfriend doesn't have any problems."

"Do you make sure he rests well?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"Why do you ask?" Nora said with hardened eyes.

Po smirked, "I don't have a personal... trainer for my injuries."

The lion scoffed and rolled her eyes. "I didn't know you had a boyfriend, Nora," Tigress said.

"We just met."

"Still. I'd like to see him."

"Sure, maybe you can laugh at him just like Po."

"I wasn't laughing at him!" Po chuckled, "I just found him and you... hilariously cute."

"Nice save," Nora smirked. "But I think a fitness date is in order. That way you can finally see him."

"Are... you two dating?" Tai Lung asked. Tigress and Po looked at each other. The tiger made a small cough and grabbed her things.

"Uh, I have to go. I have some... study group to go to. Sorry to leave in such a hurry." The tiger briskly walked through the group and out of the gym. Nora and Tai Lung looked at each other before looking at Po. The panda gave a great sigh and slid his gym gloves on.

"Come on, let's get working."

"Po, I didn't mean to make-"

"It's not your fault, Tai Lung. It's just... Let's just focus on the gym today, okay?"

"Sure," Nora said, crossing her arms, "If you promise to talk with her before the end of the day."

"Nora."

"Don't screw this up, Po. I can tell you want her."

"Yeah, but..."

"But. What?" the lion growled at the panda.

Po sighed, "Nora, I have a lot of flaws. Flaws that I'm still working on. I just... don't want to scare people away when I could be doing better."

"That's no excuse and you know it."

"You don't believe in excuses. Period."

"But she is right, Po," Tai Lung replied.

The panda gave a great sigh, "Okay, I'll talk to her. Now, can we get on with the workout?"

Po's workout distraction didn't work. As the panda walked back across the grass to the dorm, thoughts fumbled through his brain.

They liked each other. They knew that. But did they want to date each other? For a brief moment, her previous love life came into his head. She mentioned boyfriends. Po shook his head. That didn't matter really, unless the mental and emotional baggage wasn't dealt with and-

Po sighed. Nora was right. He was making excuses. Either they date and figure out if they could work with each other or not. He stepped into the Co-ed dorm, quickly passing by the receptionist. He trundled up the stairs and down a hall, passing Tigress's door for a moment.

Po paused.

He sighed and knocked on her door.

The sound of doorknob mechanisms led to the door's opening. Tigress was in a pair of black shorts with a loose red tank top. "Hey."

"Hey," Po replied softly. "Can I... come in?"

"Sure," Tigress replied. The neat orderly minimalist room wasn't much of a surprise to Po. The panda sat down on a bean bag chair, tossing his back to the floor.

"I showered by the way."

"I figured, you have a different set of clothes," Tigress smiled faintly as she sat across from Po in another bean bag.

A long pause kept them tense.

Finally, the tiger broke it. "Po, I'm... sorry about leaving the way I did. I know we like each other, but I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. We've never talked about-"

"No, no, I figured that's what you were doing," Po said. "It's just... well no time like the present. Hehe. I... just wanted to know if you... feel safe with me... to take that leap."

Tigress smiled, "Po, I have only known you for two weeks, but I already feel like you're worth every risk."

"You barely know me."

"I know your addiction. And... I want to help where I can. I know I can't carry your burden but... can I at least help you with it?"

"Are you sure you want to be apart of my mess?" Po frowned.

Tigress scooted closer and leaned in next to him. "Only if you're okay with mine."

"Heh. I'm sure that what you've been through is a little... better. You at least have some experience. I don't."

"Really?"

"I've... never had a girlfriend," Po said timidly.

"Ohhhh, you're a beautiful unicorn."

"WHAT?!"

"You don't understand, Po. Finding someone who is kind, humble, and willing to change for the better is rare, especially if they help their significant other with their issues and success. I... I just want you to know that... I'm not like the girls in porn."

"I know," Po smiled with a small laugh, "You're way better. You're real. I would never compare you to something that's fake."

"And are you okay with someone like me?" Tigress frowned, bowing her head. "Someone who's... had experience with others."

"You mean sex?" The tiger flinched and lowered her head. A black-furred finger gently lifted her head by the chin. She found warm jade eyes smiling at her. "I don't define you by your past. Yes, there are health issues, but the simple fact is that it's in the past."

Tigress gently placed her hands on his chest. "You deserve someone who isn't... tainted, Po."

"You're not tainted, Tigress," he said seriously, "You're not broken. You've only been mistreated and hurt by others. You have to let that go if you want to be free. I... hope I'm not like the men you've been with."

"No, no. You aren't. I... I just don't want to mess this up."

"I know. Me neither. But we will," Po smiled grandly. "As long as you're willing to learn with me."

Tigress smiled back, whispering a small chuckle from her lips. "Of course."

"Uhhh... Do I have permission to... kiss you?"

Tigress chuckled, "Of course, Po."

"Oh... Okay," He said with a shaky smile. "Ummm, sooo how long have you known Nora?"

Tigress's face fell for a moment. She shook her head and stood up from the bean bags as she talked. "Ummm well, she bumped into me when I was doing pull-ups. We talked about training regimens and stuff."

"So... you do weight training?" Po asked as he got up from the ground.

"I'm more dumbbells and bodyweight. Don't worry, I'm not gonna bulk out like Nora."

Po rolled his eyes, "I know it's harder for women to gain muscle. Nora's only like that because she's taken steroids one time."

"Oh, so you know about that?" Tigress smirked. "Did you have a crush on her, too?"

"I... spread my net wide when it comes to crushes," Po chuckled nervously.

Tigress smiled but felt her teeth grind a bit. Did I do something wrong, she thought, maybe I should ask? She shook her head a bit. No, I shouldn't force it. Besides, he probably-

"Uh, Tigress, are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, yea, I'm sorry. I was just... thinking about something."

"Was it what Tai Lung said?" Po said with a worried upward furrow of his eyebrows. "I'm sorry if-"

"Actually, I was more worried about you. I didn't want you to distance yourself because of some teasing," Tigress sighed, "I just didn't want to lose-"

She didn't finish because a pair of lips were on hers. Tigress's amber eyes shot open. Her brain stopped. Fluttering her eyes shut, her arms drifted around Po's neck and slowly moved to caress his face.

Her lips were new. This was probably the third time Po had kissed someone in his life. But they were perfect. Succulent, tasty. He tried to go a little further but restrained himself. A little venture. Just a sweet tender peck on the lips.

Though after his arms wrapped around her slender waist, a sweet little peck became difficult. Her chuffing entered his ears. He felt his body tune into hers, looking and scanning any sign of discomfort or dislike. But that chuffing. He felt like he found his new favorite music.

They slowly parted ways, resting their foreheads on each other. Tigress smiled widely, "I was hoping you'd do that sooner."

"Sorry," Po said with his own nervous grin, "Have to be unpredictable. Kind of my whole thing."

"I can tell," Tigress beamed. "So I guess this means we're dating?"

"Yeah, it means we're dating."

"Good," Tigress sighed, kissing him again.

 

Chapter 23

Jessica strolled into the library, stuffing her paws into her jean pants. A panda bear walked next to her, huddled in a puffy school jacket from a rally. Jessica smirked. "You sure that jacket fits you? Looks like something I got from sucking off a football jock one time."

"Oh! How did that go?"

"Eh, he wasn't as big of an asshole as I thought he would be. Still a bit of a jerk but overall nice guy."

"Seems like you've always gotten good guys," Bai smirked. The husky's smile vanished, and she bowed her head slightly. "Sorry. I didn't know-"

"It's alright, baby bear," the husky quickly recovered. "It's in the past. I don't have to worry about it."

Bai smiled. Her eyes settled on the library's computer area where she found a familiar bear. "Isn't that Po?"

"Hm?" Jessica turned and saw what looked like her childhood friend Po. But this panda glared at his computer screen with a vengeance that could make the greatest generals jealous. His focused bloodshot eyes made Jessica's eyes hurt. The two of them approached him. "Uhhh, Po?"

"Silence."

"Da fuck?"

"Hold," Po said like a drone until he finally stopped his frantic and almost possessed typing. He settled, stopped, and took a deep breath, blinking about a dozen times just to make sure his eyes still worked. "How can I help you?"

"What the hell are you doing?" Jessica's blue eyes hardened, "You're not trying to overwork again, are you?"

"No, I'm focused on my Senior thesis. I've almost gotten everything finished."

"So... you might finish early?" Po nodded. Jessica smirked, "Wow! Is this because of Tigress? I didn't think getting a girlfriend would make you so productive."

"Oh, so she told you?"

"Wait, WHAT! You two are actually dating!" the husky quietly exclaimed.

"Crap," Po muttered.

Bai crashed her arms around the male panda and did a cute mini jump while Po sat in his chair. "Ooooooh! I'm so happy for you!"

"Yeah man! I can't believe it. It's about time," Jessica grinned. She leaned her elbow on the panda's shoulder. "Soooo. Have you fucked yet?"

"Jessica?"

"Hmm?" Po reached and flicked the husky's nose. "Ooww! Po! That actually hurts you know!"

"Then stop being nosey."

"Hehe, that's punny," Bai giggled. Jessica rolled her eyes. "But what about your other girlfriends?"

"Other?" Jessica and Po asked.

"Yeah, the other women you hang around. Like that golden retriever."

"Oh! Megan. Well, I don't really hang with that many girls and Megan is kinda everyone's eye candy."

"Damn, Po," Jessica said, "That's cold."

"Her words, not mine," Po replied, looking at his watch. "Anyway, I have to get going. I'm scheduled for a walk."

"Scheduled?"

"I have to move around," Po answered Jessica, "I've found a productive groove and I don't want to mess it up."

"What about your new girlfriend?"

"She's doing the same thing," Po pointed at a tiger in the corner furiously typing with glaring amber eyes and several coffee cups.

Jessica grimaced a bit. "So you've become work demons?"

"Because if we're gonna make sure our romance doesn't interfere with our school work, we have to work first and play later. Excuse me."

"Okay, okay." Jessica smiled, "I'm proud of you, dude."

"Thanks," Po smiled and then swiftly walked out of the library. The panda's pace was quick, and his mind was racing. Taking a deep breath, he slowed into a light walk. "Alright, calm down, Po. It's okay. Faster doesn't mean better. Remember that." Po made his way to the English building and strolled to Dr. Shifu's office where the red panda glanced up at his work.

"Ah! Po, I've seen your changes on the thesis. You're making great progress."

"Thank you."

"And you seem very focused and determined," Shifu said with a small lift of his lips, "Is there any reason why?"

"Nothing, I just... have a reason for being focused and determined. So I can have some... alone time."

"Ah, what's her name?" Shifu joked.

"Tigress."

"Oh! She's real?"

"Dr. Shifu!" Po exclaimed, embarrassed.

"Well, I'm glad for you, Po. Just be mindful. She's real, not an idea."

Po narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

The red panda shrugged. "Sometimes we get stuck in our heads. That's why writing helps see what we're actually thinking."

"You're married, right?" Po asked. Shifu nodded. "What would you give as relationship advice?"

The professor stroked his beard in thought, leaning into his chair. "Don't be afraid to communicate honestly. Some things need time and you two need to accept that. Learn to accept all of your partner, not just the best parts. And most importantly, do not try to make them your everything."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Some people date because they're secretly looking for a loving father, mother, sibling, friend, therapist, teacher, and more all in one. That's not good. She is Tigress first and your girlfriend second. Understand?"

"Yeah... I think I do," Po sighed, looking at his watch. "Anyways, I have to get back to work. I'll talk more later, Dr. Shifu."

"Of course. I'm glad you're getting things done... without burning out," Shifu replied. The panda smiled and left the office, walking a little slower to the library. He pulled out a small notebook he kept in his backpack.

"Hmm, maybe I should keep a running list of relationship advice," Po said. He finally reached the library, taking a breath from the slight chill in the air. Winter might come early, Po thought. He looked and saw Jessica chatting with Tigress. He smiled. His friend was getting along well with his girlfriend.

But Jessica slid an arm around Tigress, still laughing with Bai beside her.

A dark thought entered Po's mind. His frown mirrored it. He was tempted to shake it off.

Po breathed out the stress and fear as much as he could. No, he couldn't let fear fester. He had to address it. He walked up to the three. "Hey, um... Jessica could I... talk with you privately?"

Jessica's smile disappeared. Po's darting eyes and fretful twisting of his lips sent twists to her stomach. Quickly, she got up and went with Po outside the library's patio. "What is it, Po? Did Shifu say something?"

"No, no, I just... I wanted to know if you're interested in Tigress at all."

"WHAT?!" Jessica shouted, making Po glad they took their conversation outside. "Po! You know I would never-"

"I know, I know, I know. I'm not asking because I thought you would. I just... I'm telling you because... I'm insecure and I want to fix that. I don't want to worry that someone like you or you would just swoop in and take Tigress away from me."

Jessica placed her fist on her hips, furrowing her eyebrows. "And what if they did?" She asked with each word punctuated with an anger Po knew too well. "Who would be to blame, Po?"

"Uhhhh-"

"It would be her. Sure, I can try all my tactics, but it's her decision, not mine, not yours, hers." The panda blinked. "Po, she chose to be with you. Constantly. There's a lot you can do to try and keep her or drive her away, but ultimately, it's her choice and hers alone. Same with you."

"I... thanks, Jess. I needed that," Po sighed, rubbing his muzzle. He felt a finger flick his nose. "Ahh! Hey! What was that for?"

"Pay back. I can't believe you would think I would do that."

"Not you! Just... someone like you. Okay. I'm sorry I... I'm sorry."

Jessica glared but softened her gaze, "I appreciate you being honest with me. Not many guys can do that."

"With you, I have to be. You'd beat my ass if I lied," Po smirked. "Actually, uhh... I know this is going to be a stupid question for you but... do you have any relationship advice?"

Jessica crossed her arms, lifting her eyebrow. "Why would that be a stupid question?" Po's face fell. "Wooooww Judgy much?"

"How many people have you flirted with? How many have you dated? How many have you had sex with?"

"Pause! I've slept with much less people than you think!"

"I know, but you've dated and flirted with A LOT OF people."

"Still, I could use less judgment," Jessica huffed.

Po sighed, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude."

"Well, first thing is self-acceptance. No one likes having to walk on eggshells with someone. Be honest with your insecurities. Everyone has a fragile part, so don't be afraid to admit that."

"What about sex?" Po asked. Jessica rose her eyebrow. "Come on, you know why I'm asking you."

"Because I'm more experienced?"

"Because I trust you to be honest with me and because as a friend, you would want me to avoid the pain that you went through. That I've seen you through."

Jessica gave the panda a half-smirk. "Nice save. As cliche as it is, communication is key. No one's a mind reader. You're a writer so you know that the audience only knows what you tell them. Second, stay out of your head and focus on her and the moment. Sex isn't a performance. And remember: Sex is like an act. I know I just said don't worry about performance, but there's a lot that goes into acting. Boundaries, rules, no goes, what works for her, what doesn't work for you."

"Communication," Po summarized.

"Yes, but it goes deeper than that. Be okay with messing up, laugh about it. Sex is supposed to be fun, not something you can win and put on a plaque."

"That would be a weird plaque," Po chuckled.

"Most importantly, sex isn't everything," Jessica said. Po rose his eyebrow. "I mean it. The reason why I'm so self-confident is because I don't put all my identity into sex. I like it, but I'm not defined by it. There's more to you than just sex."

"Wow... no wonder you're so prized on campus." Jessica growled. "I mean that as a compliment, Jess!" Po quickly said. "I know you've gone through a lot, both good and bad. And with... you know-"

"We don't talk about him," the husky sighed. "But... yeah. It's actually because of that experience that I'm like this."

"Like what?"

"Flirtatious, free about sex and stuff," The husky replied. "I wasn't gonna let that abusive jerk ruin sex for me."

"So you faced your trauma head on." Jessica nodded. Po sighed, "Sometimes, I wish I was like you."

"And I wish I was like you." The panda tilted his head. "You're fun and carefree most times, Po. You see the world in a way that I've never seen and you're great to have around. More importantly, you accept me as I am." Jessica looked through the glass window and saw Bai chatting with Tigress, showing her how she got her top fur into a stylish purple. "I know Tigress will love that."

The husky suddenly clapped her hands and grinned mischievously. "Alright, enough emotions. Time for your sex quiz."

"Sex quiz?"

"I've got to make sure you know stuff before you try and do the do with Tigress. Can't have your worries and assumptions ruining this," Jessica smirked, tapping his forehead. "How long does it take for the average female to get aroused?"

"Fully aroused? 10-20 minutes but it can be shorter depending on the woman or if you tease her throughout the day."

"Good. True or false: Changing the frequency, pace, or pressure of the fuckery often prolongs the woman's climax."

"True, women tend to be like pressure cookers. Keep things steady until she tells you otherwise."

"Question: How long does it take for women to become wet?"

"That's a trick question. Wetness isn't a reliable sign that someone is aroused. It's the same as a guy being hard. It can be hard for different reasons," Po explained.

"Ahh, but what can you do to make sure she has comfortable sex?"

Po stroked his chin. "Take a five minute relaxation sesh. Most women carry more stress than they realize. Longer foreplay is an option, but simply getting non-allergic lube is the best option."

"Locate all the erogenous zones on a woman."

"Lips, neck, breasts, tummy for some, inner thighs, labia (major and minor), clitoris, sometimes ears. And before you ask, the clit is above the opening of the pussy, usually much higher than most think. It becomes slightly engorged during arousal along with the G-spot which is towards the bellybutton side of the inside of the pussy, about two inches in.

"Geez, I didn't think you knew that much. I guess you'll be pounding her silly now," Jessica smirked.

"Ah! Trick statement. Most women climax due to clitoris stimulation."

"Hahaha! Great!" Jessica chuckled, playfully punching him in the arm. "You're perfect for her. Just keep up the good work."

Po smiled and hugged the husky. "Thanks, Jess. I really needed this."

Just then, Bai came out of the library. "Is everything okay? We were getting worried about you."

"It's fine, babe," Jessica smiled, "Just talking with my brother about the birds and the bees."

"You would be the worst person for that convo," Po laughed.

"Nuh uh," Jessica stuck out her tongue. Po rolled his eyes and waved the couple goodbye before going back into the library. He could see the tiger's smirk a mile away as he sat down next to her.

"Wh-What?"

"Is everything alright with you and Jessica? I could hear her shouting from here."

Po sighed, "Yeah, I just... told her about my insecurities. I was...

"Jealous?"

"I... yeah," Po groaned.

"Po, I chose you. No one else, okay? And I was a little worried when Jessica mentioned you were friends with her."

"Really?"

"I thought you would've liked her at some point. I've had that happen before," Tigress's momentary frown was kissed away by the panda's lips. She smiled, "It's okay, Po. I chose you. And I figured it was just my insecurities."

"It's okay. It's a legit concern and I understand."

"Heh, sometimes you're too understanding," Tigress smirked.

"Oh really?" Po smirked back and kissed her again. Then again and again, pecking her cheek with multiple kisses that made her laugh.

"Po! We're in public!"

"So? Are you against it?"

"Hehe, not really. Just... not that much," Tigress chuckled, kissing the panda back.

 

Chapter 24

 "YOU WHAT?!" Shouted the simian. 

"Is it really that shocking?" Po asked. 

"I mean... no, it's just... you're kind of a shy guy. I knew you'd find someone, I just... didn't think it would be so soon."

"You thought I would get someone when I was 30?"

"No Po," Monkey chuckled. The two ambled around campus. It was the weekend, and Po decided to take a break from his deep focused work. That and his eye strain from the computer screen was getting too much. He yawned loudly as he stuffed his paws into his jeans. "I see having a girlfriend has changed your fashion sense."

"It's not that. It's just getting a little cold."

"Sweatpants keep you warm."

"Not as much as you think," Po muttered. 

"By the way, how are you doing with your thesis?" Monkey asked. 

"It's going well, I'm almost finished."

"Already?! Dude that's awesome! Most people fall behind when they're in the honeymoon phase."

Po smiled a bit, "Tigress and I talked about that. We didn't want to fall behind. Work first, play later. Especially when it helps me support Tigress."

"Is she the same way?"

"Yeah, even more so."

Monkey rose an eyebrow at those words. "She has strict parents or something?"

"Something like that. But either way, we're focused on our goals. We'll have time for lovey-dovey later, right now, it's time to work."

"Wow, Po. I never thought of doing that. It would've helped me with my schoolwork," Monkey grumbled softly. "Soooo when's the wedding?"

"Monkey."

"I'm serious."

Po stopped in his tracks. "I... I don't know. I'm not even sure if I want to marry her just yet. I mean we just met each other."

"Sounds to me like you're already planning a future with her."

"I know, I know. Ugh, this is so confusing," Po grumbled.

"It's alright. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. You don't have to have it all figured out today. Take it easy. Big gestures are nice, but the small sweet stuff is what will keep her." 

"Heh, thanks man," Po looked at his watch and sighed. "Well, I have to get back to work. It was nice talking with you, Monkey."

"Any time."

 Po walked back across the field where the guys and girls' dorms were. Stepping up the stairs to the main promenade, he walked back into the library and gave a long huff, squinting his eyes. "Alright, I need a change of scenery." 

After working for an hour or two, Po got up and went on a walk down the promenade among a throng of students rushing to get to their next class. He spotted a familiar feline sitting on a bench drawing. "Is that? Hey!"

The white lion lifted her head and smiled, "Po! Hey. It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too. How's your baby?"

"Po."

"Hehe, I'm kidding," Po smiled as he sat down. He saw Kayla's drawing: A charcoal gestural sketch of the trees and small garden she faced. "How have you been?"

"Good. Stressed, but good. I've got a lot of work to do for the gallery coming up. It's for my major."

"I get it."

"What about you? Is everything okay? I haven't seen you much. I started to get worried I-"

"Oh no, no, no. You didn't do anything wrong," Po replied. He quickly explained what had happened to him. Kayla's green eyes widened to golfball size. "I'm fine now, but... yeah it was hard."

"I'm really sorry, Po."

"It's okay. I'm getting better. And I... have a girlfriend now."

"WHAT?! When?"

"Uhh... two weeks ago," Po said. It had only been a month since Fall Junior year started. Tigress and Po started talking two weeks in and it was only two weeks ago since they were officially dating. "Yeah... two weeks."

"That's awesome! How do you feel?"

"Nervous, excited. Worried about messing up?" Po said with a cheesy grin.

"You will," Kayla smiled, "But the important thing is to get back up. If it means going to a therapist do that."

"You've been through this before?'

"Yeah... that's... actually how I found out I was Ace."

"OH!" Po facepalmed so hard he could feel the sting 5 minutes later. "I'm so sorry Kayla. Talking about my crush on you probably didn't-"

"No, no, it's okay, Po," The white lion smiled. "I didn't think it was worth bringing up at the time. Now I know I should've." 

"Thank you for telling me, though. It... explains a lot," Po chuckled, getting up from the bench. "Anyway, I have to get going. Take care of the baby for me, okay?"

"I'm gonna get a creepy baby doll and name it Po just to spite you," Kayla swore. Po laughed and continued on his way back to the library when he got a text from a familiar tiger. 

Have you been asking everyone about relationship advice?

Po grumbled under his breath. It was wrong to assume that Jessica told the tiger, but he guessed Tigress just asked around. 

Yeah

Why?

I just want to know how to be the best boyfriend for you. And I want to be there for you when you need my help. 

The tiger sent a smiling emoji. It's cute that you care so much for me. 

I already know that, but how can I help you the best?

Just be you.

Po sighed and smiled. I'll try my best. 

Walking back into the library, he went back to work, fidgeting as he wrote down the last bits of his thesis. Soon, he switched the work and began working on lingering homework.

But his fidgeting foot gnawed at his patience. As he sped read through the boring textbook, he grumbled at the fact he had to reread it another time. 

"Grr, what's going on?" 

The panda decided to cut his losses, jotted some surface level notes, and pack up for the dorm. 

But he found his legs moving much faster than normal. Like they bounded with too much energy. The panda shook his head and stared on straight to his dorm. The coming night didn't help the panda's fast paced walking. He made it to the door and slipped into his dorm room. 

Then he stopped. He felt his heart racing. His shoulders were tight and his legs felt like they could run forever. He gave a long groan. "Great." 

He was anxious. Now what to do?

Do you think Tigress would-

"Absolutely not! It's way too soon for that! Geez brain!" Po groaned. It didn't help that masturbation did help with stress reduction, but he wanted other options. It's bad when there's only one way for someone to relax. His mind split in two, one tugging towards his desk and the other to his bed. 

He could wrestle through more work. Sure, he would sleep out of pure exhaustion, but at least he would be a little productive until his body went into exhaustion mode. So the panda sat down and started working late into the night. Nothing heavy, just some of the light work that he had neglected. 

The annoying jitters in his legs gave him an idea. After two straight hours of struggling focus, Po decided to use that energy to clean up his room. 

Then it hit him. "Whoaaa," Po groaned, feeling the room spin for a moment. He looked at the clock.

12:00 am. 

"Yep... I think I can get to sleep now," Po muttered. He crashed onto the bed and fell asleep, purely exhausted. 

A few days later, Po sat in the all-too familiar sofa of Gozin. He had explained the recent increase in anxiety. "I thought I was doing better."

"Stress management isn't a forever fix, Po," The goose explained. "It's a progress. Stress changes over time and you have to learn what works and what doesn't."

"Well that sucks."

"But it also makes life less boring," The goose smiled. Po sighed. "It might also be that... since you've gotten a girlfriend, you're afraid of losing her."

"Yeah." The panda stared at Gozin. "Do you have any advice for my relationship?" 

Gozin looked up at the ceiling for a moment and shrugged. "Learn conflict management. You can have an argument without getting too heated. But if you do feel upset, take time to cool off. Remember, it's you and her against the problem."

Po nodded. 

"Also, share your desires for new ideas in your relationship. While creativity is good for a relationship, just make sure that it's within both of your boundaries." 

"Like?" 

"Like who all gets to be in your bed when you have sex," Gozin smirked. 

"Ah, I see what you mean," Po said, rubbing the back of his head. "Thanks for all of this Doc. I really needed it. The stuff for my anxiety and addiction have really been helping me."

"You've kept up with your journalling?" 

"Yeah."

"Good," Gozin said. Then his eyes narrowed. "You... haven't made Tigress your accountability partner, right?" 

"A what?"

"An accountability partner. For your addiction." 

"I... didn't know I should have one," Po said, anxiously scratching the side of his face. "I'm... kinda scared to."

"Why?"

"I... I don't know. Honestly, I have a hard time figuring out what my life outside of porn will look like. It's been such a loud part of me and finding the core reason why I do this in the first place is hard."

"Maybe the reason won't appear until you start abstaining longer. Abstaining often brings clarity. Indulgence brings fog," Gozin gave a pause. "And ultimately, it doesn't matter WHY you're into porn. What matters ifs that you stop... right?" 

Po nodded. "Though, if I had to guess, I probably use porn as an escape."

"From?" 

"Danger, life, heartache, pain. Heh, I guess I never realized how anxious I am without this thing." 

"Or maybe you're just more mature than most," Gozin smiled lightly. "Don't fear life, Po. I won't lie. Being an adult is hard and has a lot of responsibilities. But outsourcing those responsibilities shrinks our control and ignoring them makes them harder to address. When we bear our burdens, we get a say in how they are carried. And how long we'll carry them," He took another pause. "Is your anxiety 24/7?"

"No?"

"Why?"

"Because I... get distracted by something?"

"Because you're not in danger 24/7."

Po chuckled slightly, "Good moments don't last, doc." 

"So why not cherish them more instead of worrying when they'll end?" Gozin smiled. "You can't enjoy and get more at the same time. That's usually the sign of a true addict."

Po sighed, "How do I fix my brain?" 

Gozin's smile widened, "I don't believe we're ever broken beyond repair. If we were, we would be dead. There are several ways. Journalling, meditation, mindfulness, breathing exercises. In the meantime, be patient with yourself and this Tigress girl. You don't have to figure out everything at once. Life isn't a problem to be solved. It's a mystery to appreciate."

Po nodded with a slight smile, though he rubbed his head as he stood up. "Thanks, Doc. Though I'm not sure if I get the philosophy stuff."

"It's okay, Po. you'll figure it out as you go. Everyone does," Gozin smiled. 

The panda waddled out of the goose's office, still rubbing his head. "Ugh, my brain hurts. Hm... A mystery huh?" He glanced at his watch. "Shoot, I have to get to Dr. Shifu!" Po ran down the promenade, speeding pass walking throngs of students before rushing into the English department. The papers on the walls fluttered from the wind he generated. He skidded to stop at the door and panted heavily, "I'm here."

"You know, you can just tell me you're gonna be late," Dr. Shifu smiled humorously. "No need to run."

"Sorry, had to get rid of some of the nervous energy." Po crashed down and got to work sending the last edits to the red panda. Shifu received the email and scanned them over. 

Everything was silent. Po could feel his tense shoulders flexing and relaxing each time. His heart slowed down just enough to be tuned in. He didn't know why his jaw felt pain. 

Shifu gave a large sigh and leaned back in his chair. Po frowned. Another edit. 

But then, a small smile came to the red panda's face. "You're done."

"What?"

"You're done. All the edits and other things are finished. You're done." 

"You... you're serious!" Po quietly exclaimed. "HAHAHA! Awesome! Crane will be so stoaked to hear that!" 

"But-"

"But?" Po panicked. 

"You now have this last Junior year and the whole of senior year free. What will you do?"

"Uhhhh study?"

Shifu rose a bushy eyebrow. "You and I both know that you won't have problems with that." 

Po shrugged. "I'll figure something out." He smiled. 

 

Chapter 25

Winter semester finally came for the Junior panda with a flurry of difficult issues. Po talked to Shifu about internships. "Why are you trying to do that now?" Shifu asked.

Po shrugged, "Reasons." He didn't want to tell him it was because of Tigress. He wanted to support her, but he also needed to figure out his own path. A cautious balancing act.

With more time on his hand, Po honed his stress management skills with Gozin and focused on his studies.

One day, after Po came out of the gym's shower, he walked out of the lockers and threw his gym bag onto his shoulder. He passed by a set of mirrors and paused. Flexing for a moment, he couldn't stop the shy smile latching onto his face. His arms had grown firmer as did his pecs. He didn't worry about his belly. It gave him a strongman appearance he came to love. He turned around and flexed his back.

Strong as it could be. Valleys and curves trailing nearly symmetrically around to his hips. His right side was a little weaker than his left, but no one could tell by looking at him. His legs felt tougher. They were definitely better for running with the two gym maniacs he called friends.

Tai Lung and Nora were helping, though.

He walked out of the gym and towards the Co-ed dorm to see a familiar striped woman.

With other striped people.

"Uh oh," Po gulped. Tigress turned and saw the panda walking up to them. Her grimace transferred all the needed information.

Parents.

Should I just play it safe? He thought, Should I just act like we don't know each other? The larger tiger, probably her father, fell his sharp eyes onto Po and said, "Isn't that him?"

"Crap," Po muttered to himself, putting on a nervous grin. Tigress motioned him to approach. The anxiously grinning panda stepped forward.

"Po, it's... good to see you. These are my parents. Mother, father, this is Po."

"Your boyfriend," Said the woman. Po felt shivers knock down his spine.

Tigress's father was an orange brick wall with a noticeable gut that didn't seem any bigger with his 6'6" stature, dwarfing the 6'1" panda. It looked like his lips were permanently bent in a frown, though that might have been Po's fear talking. The panda's hand fidgeted a bit, clutching his gym bag.

A white dress shirt and a pair of khakis, the male tiger looked like a business man. The only 'informality' was the open collar tieless top around his neck as he crossed his arms. The dress shirt seemed to stretch and bend against its will. 

Her mother contrasted the male tiger. A subtle and yet pronounced stern and orderly beauty. Her eyes looked much easier and fairer, yet they were controlled and more alluring.

Seductive you mean

No, no, brain, Po thought. Not my girlfriend's mother. But she was beautiful. If she smiled, it would be more mischievous than Tigress's. She did have a great figure underneath a creamy cardigan. It hung gently on her chest that almost mirrored Tigress's. Po shook his head. That frown on her face still sent its icy chill down his spine, and her stare shriveled up any remaining twisted arousal his twisted mind had.

Po cleared his throat and swallowed hard. "It's... good to meet you, Mr. and Mrs..." What was Tigress's last name? SHIT!

"Laohu," The bigger tiger bellowed, stretching forth his hand. Po was fully prepared to have his hand crushed but the male tiger was merciful. "Attorney."

"What?"

"I am a lawyer. My wife is a registered nurse."

"Of course," Po sighed, a little miffed. This man had a desk job and looked like a bodybuilder while his wife looked like an old runway model. Why was life so unfair? "A-A-Are you liking the campus?"

"You never answered my wife's question," Said Mr. Laohu, glaring harder.

Po swallowed, "I'm sorry, what was the question?"

"Are you dating my daughter?" Mrs. Laohu asked in a tone and voice that was deceptively musical.

Po's eyes shifted from the two powerful felines to Tigress. Her frown and tightly clasped hands worried him. The panda sighed. It would be an uphill battle if the parents didn't like him. He could see it now: Parents always suggesting he wasn't pulling his weight or criticizing some little failing. And gods knew if he ever even thought of having an argument with Tigress, the parents would swoop in and take her side.

Po sighed again. It was fun while it lasted, He thought.

He wanted to be truthful.

"Yes," He said bravely, making Tigress snap her head towards him. "I am. I hope that's not a problem."

"If it prevents her from her studies," Mrs. Laohu glared, crossing her arms much like Tigress would. "How did you two meet?"

"I was... Am... her English tutor. That reminds me, you need to keep up with your English assignments," Po said, pulling out his stuff.

"Po, this isn't the time," Tigress hissed out.

"It's exactly the time," Po said casually. "You never told me how the project went after I taught you."

"It went fine! I got an A, thanks!" Tigress quickly said.

"Well seems that having a tutor has helped you, Tigress," Mr. Laohu said. "Are you keeping up with your health?"

"Yes, she is. However, she needs a mental break. You're due for a deload on your weight training. I've been trying to get her into yoga to relax, but she doesn't really like doing that," Po said, looking over his notes. Mr. and Mrs. Laohu glanced at each other.

"Have you been eating well?" Mr. Laohu asked.

"Yes, I make sure she doesn't skip breakfast," Po answered.

"Have you been doing well in your classes?"

"She complains a lot about English and Anatomy which is why I'm here."

"You're a Science major?" Mrs. Laohu asked.

"I'm a writer and the number of injuries I need to know require a deep DEEEPP knowledge of anatomy," Po rattled off.

"Have you been making friends?" Mr. Laohu asked.

"Several. Two of which are health-focused majors that help her keep her on track and a social husky that... Actually, forget about the husky, she's probably not the best example. But she does have other friends."

The two tigers glanced at each other as the panda scribbled down more notes. "Seems like... you've been keeping her on track, Mr..."

"Po, Po Ping," the panda smiled.

"You said you were an English major? What do you expect to do with that major?"

"Everything I can to make sure that Tigress is well supported. I have College Professor as a possible venue but uh..."

"But what?" Mr. Laohu asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"Well, to be perfectly honest I liked working with my friend for my Senior thesis. Since it's done-"

"You're DONE!?" Tigress exclaimed. "That's amazing!"

"Yeah, yeah, it's great," Po said nonchalantly, "I'm just thinking that... maybe I could do something other than being a professor."

"Like what?"

"Research analyst. Hmmm, maybe," Po mumbled to himself, rubbing his chin and pacing a bit in thought while three tigers just looked at each other bewildered. "I'll have to talk with Dr. Shifu about that. Sorry, I got distracted."

"Are you always this distracted?" Mrs. Laohu asked, revealing a small smile that shocked her daughter.

"Yes, but not this badly," Po shrugged, a little more relaxed. "To be perfectly honest... you two scare me a bit."

"Why?" Mr. Laohu bellowed.

"You look like you can crush or bite me in half and I'm extremely jealous that a lawyer can look so fit," Po huffed, making Mrs. Laohu cover her mouth in a giggle. "And Mrs. Laohu looks like Tigress' resting growl face whenever she's studying. Which reminds me, you're late for your studying."

"You're not my secretary!" Tigress groused.

"Yeah, but we both agreed to focus until our projects are done."

"You're done."

"So now it's my job to keep you focused!"

"Alright, alright," Mr. Laohu said, chuckling. "I like you, panda. And I assure you, you don't have to worry about me crushing or biting you."

"I make no such promises," Mrs. Laohu cooly smirked.

"I expect nothing less from the mother of Tigress," Po smiled. The married tigress smirked wider. The panda looked at his watch. "Sorry, I have to go do my internship rounds."

"Internship rounds?" Mr. Laohu asked.

"Yeah, I'm searching for internships. Just to give me a sense of where I should go before Grad school. If I need to."

"Why not go into Graduate school right after college?"

Po shook his head. "Graduate school is uselesss if you don't have some real world experience. I could be a teacher for two years and hate it. Then I become a Copywriter and I love it. THEN I can go to graduate school. It's like... I need a fully fleshed story before sending it to the editors. Mess up, find a solution, move forward. That's what my dad's friend told me. It's different for medical people, but everyone else, graduate school is good when you KNOW for certain what you want to do."

Po saw the quiet dropped jaws of the tigers. He rubbed the back of his head, chuckling nervously, "Sorry, I... speak in metaphors sometimes."

"Hm, you seem very wise for someone still in college," Mr. Laohu smiled, slinging a heavy arm around the panda's shoulders. "Where did you come from?"

"The... gym?"

"Oh you must be hungry," Mrs. Laohu smiled, wrapping her arm around his other arm, "We were just going to take Tigress to this Tofu shop and-"

"Mr. Ping's Tofu shop? Count me in," Po grinned happily.

"Of course. And I'm sure my husband can pull some strings to help you with internships," Mrs. Laohu smiled richly, "Are you coming, Tigress?" Tigress couldn't get her jaw to function. She stared in disbelief as the panda effortlessly wooed her parents.

"You... do realize I'm your daughter, right?"

"Oh don't be jealous, Tigress," Po smirked over his shoulder.

"Jealous?!" Tigress scoffed, running up to Po and playfully punching his shoulder. The panda only laughed in retaliation.

The rest of the day was great. Tigress's father and mother took a liking to Po and gave him some advice for future jobs. "But something tells me that you wouldn't like legal papers," Mr. Laohu smiled.

"Eh, I'm more of a story person. Unless you work like Perry Mason Platypus."

"Oh? I didn't think young people like you watch those old films."

Po shrugged, "I've seen some stuff."

Later on in the day, Po walked back to the Co-ed building with Tigress in tow, though her arms were crossed as she pouted. "What? Are you still jealous?" Po chuckled.

"I'm not jealous. I'm just... amazed that people like my parents took you in so easily. My parents never liked my boyfriend choices."

"Didn't one of them try to walk on water with a pair of bamboo shoes?" Po asked.

"I didn't say I made the greatest choices." Tigress grumbled. They finally came to their dorm room.

"I'm actually glad that they like me. Though, I don't know why."

"You were yourself," Tigress explained, "That's something not many people can do. You're a great person to be around, Po. Don't forget that."

"I'll... try. Also, is your mother always that..."

"Flirtatious?" Tigress smirked.

"I... wasn't gonna say that!" Po panicked.

The tiger chuckled a bit. "It's okay. It means she likes you. She's usually a little more playful around people she likes."

"Knowing you... I don't know if that's a good thing," Po murmured. 

"You know, now that I think about it," She said looking at the doors. "There isn't a rule about co-ed roommates. Perhaps we could-"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Po sighed, mentally cursing himself for being the 'bigger' panda. "We have to focus on the prize right now. Graduation and jobs."

Tigress sighed, letting her shoulder slack. "Why does it feel like adult life is just about working to make money that you have to spend?"

The panda chuckled a bit, "Things change. But as long as we keep our inner child alive, life is a little bit better."

"Is that why you're you?" Tigress asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, goodnight Po. I hope my family wasn't a bad distraction."

"Actually, it was a needed one. I needed the refresher. Although, I could definitely do with less... tension," Po muttered.

The tiger shook her head and kissed the panda's cheek. "Goodnight, Po."

"Goodnight, Tigress." He smiled and walked into his dorm, taking a great sigh of relief. "Okay, I'm gonna sleep, get up, and then get on with my life." He lightly chuckled.

 

Chapter 26

Jessica sniggered watching Po grab food and head to the cashier. "What?" he asked. 

"Nothing, but you've had the lovesick grin for a while."

"Oh! That's why my cheeks hurt."

"Hahahahahaha!" Jessica laughed. The two sat down at the mess hall and began to dine. Jessica happily munched on her sandwich. It was the beginning of Po's Senior year and the end of classes for the day. So many changes, yet so much stayed the same. For a brief moment, that thought invaded the panda's mind.

How was he supposed to support Tigress?

Po sighed. Anyway, he could. No more paralysis by analysis,  he thought, I'm gonna have to carry the responsibilities no matter what. Even if I'm not perfect.

Po shook out of his daze. "How's Bai?" He asked his husky friend.

"Why do you ask?"

"I... I'm a little worried about the future. Just... thought I'd distract myself a bit. I need to stay present," Po sighed. 

Jessica smiled, shoulder-bumping the panda. "It's okay to be afraid, Po. But she's fine."

"Am I hearing wedding bells soon?" Po smirked.

"Uh... yeah, I want to but... I... don't know how."

"You just... propose to the woman?"

"It's not that simple, Po."

"It actually is."

"Just drop it."

"Why are you scared?"

"I'm not scared."

"Oh so I can't be scared but you can deny that you're scared?" Po asked. Jessica huffed and looked away. "Why the hesitation? I thought you liked Bai."

"I... do, but... " Jessica sighed, "I feel like I'm growing up. I'm taking things a little more seriously and thinking about the future. I'm not the weird kinky girl that everyone thinks I am anymore."

"Really?" Po asked, trying his best to hide his doubt.

"Yes. Or... at least not as much as I used to," Jessica replied. "I just... don't know if Bai will like the new me."

"Anyone who loves you will love all of you. Regardless if you change."

"But what if I change for the worse?"

Po shrugged, "Well, I hope you'll be good enough to know that. Good people know the difference between good and bad. Bad people don't know about either."

Jessica plopped her head into her arms on the table and gave a loud puff of air, but the panda could see her smirking. "Why are you so fucking smart?"

"I learn from the best," Po smiled, patting her back. "Anyway, I gotta go. I need to go see Tigress."

"Need to or want to?"

"Is there a difference?"

"Not if you're not in love," Jessica smirked. "Smack the girl's ass for me and say I said hey."

"SHHHH! Jessica, not so loud," Po groaned, though the mess hall was relatively empty. Heading out, Po watched the sunset cast elongated shadows across the fields and buildings as it hid over the mountains. Cracking his stiff neck, he struggled with some thoughts brewing in the back of his head.

The future.

Po shook his head as he arrived at the Co-ed dorms and absentmindedly walked up the stairs to his room.

He grasped the strap of his backpack tighter. "I'm scared," He muttered to himself. "How am I supposed to do this?"

He went to Tigress's door and knocked, still gazing at the ground for some answers. "Are you okay?"

"Huh?" Po lifted his head and shook the shock off. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. What's up?"

"Po, don't lie to me," Tigress said. "What's wrong?"  She let him in and made him sit on the edge of her bed.

"I'm... I'm just thinking about stuff."

"Oh? Then you won't mind if I ask you a... serious question?"

Po's eyes snapped up to hers. "What is it about?"

Tigress sighed as she sat next to him. "When... do you want to have sex in our relationship?"

"Oh. Uhhh honestly, I've always been a stickler for marriage sex. I've just... never seen the point in doing it before."

"Why?"

"Is that a problem?"

"No, no, of course not," Tigress said, almost frantic. "I just... wanted to know if there was a reason?"

Po shrugged, "When you're around Jessica, you start to appreciate serious relationships. She might be a sensual party girl, but she's much wiser than people think. I've just seen... too much drama with casual sex. I know sex in a marriage isn't perfect. I just prefer to save it for marriage."

"Religious reasons?"

"Yes and no. My parents weren't serious about religion. They just told me that I should be in a serious committed relationship with anyone I have sex with. They said sex is like cookies. You have too many, you get sick of it and it stops being special. You have to treat something special for it to be special."

"I'm a living example of that," Tigress sighed. She felt self-hatred sap energy from her chest. The panda's soft paw gently caressed her cheek, guiding her face to his smile.

"Tigress, I don't look at your past. I just want to take things slow. Get to know each other a little more. Besides, we would have to take it slow anyway," Po sighed, "Because of me and my porn."

"I don't want you to be scared of sex, Po."

"I'm scared of hurting you. I don't want you to feel like I'm... not interested in you or that I don't love you. Because I do!"

Tigress smiled warmly and kissed the panda. "I love you too."

Their faces slowly came close, resting their foreheads on each other. Tigress felt the panda's hot breath slowly tickle her lips before she planted a kiss on his. Their eyes shut. Their hands caressed each other. Po's paws smoothed out the wrinkles of Tigress's tank top, stopping just a brief moment at her chest line. A deep moan left Tigress's throat as she tentatively opened her mouth. Po attacked but found himself overwhelmed. The tiger's tongue wrestled the unprepared panda to surrender while her hands slid to his chest, balling her fist with the fabric of the T-shirt. They only parted for a moment before Po heard it. The tiger's deep growl. He kissed her more passionately, grabbing the back of her head to keep her from escaping. His left hand balled the helm of her tank top, and his right held her head in place. But the tiger only growled louder. Po could feel her claws lightly poke his chest.

Suddenly, she bit his bottom lip, slightly shocking him. He leaned forward, nearly pushing her back. Tigress finally pushed herself away. The two panted heavily, staring intently at each other.

"Shit."

"Po, language," Tigress breathlessly smirked.

"Sorry just... never been this horny in my life."

"Just... ride it out, okay?"

"Hmph," Po muttered. He collapsed back on her bed and steadied his breathing. "Not gonna lie, I think I'm in love with the way you growl."

"You are?" Tigress chuckled. "I've been told that people are afraid I'll bite them."

"I can handle being eaten."

"PO!"

"What?! I'm weird," Po smirked. Tigress laughed and laid back next to him.

"For someone who's never dated, you're a great kisser," she smiled. "Very passionate."

"I hope I didn't try to do too much. You know... too much tongue and-"

"It was the perfect amount. I was floating."

"Heh," Po smiled sheepishly. Another silent pause came between them. "Why did you bring up that question, about sex?"

The panda heard the tiger emit a long sigh to the ceiling. "Sexual health class. From experience... I've learned to get sexual expectations out of the way. I just... didn't want to get attached if there was a dealbreaker on the table. I'm sorry if that-"

"No, I get it. Better to lay out the rules before playing the game," Po smiled. "Besides, there's more to marriage than just sex."

"Oh... so you're planning that far in advance?" Tigress asked.

Po could hear the slight tinge of worry in her voice. He rolled to his side to see more evidence. Tigress's wide-eyed expression didn't tell him much, neither did her stoic lips. Po sighed again. "I... I want to be with you. But I'm worried about the future and... whether I'll be enough for you."

Her lips bent into a smile as she lightly caressed his cheek. "I have to bring something to the table too, you know."

"I guess you're right," Po smiled as he watched Tigress get up and grab some of her stuff from her desk. Of course, she had to bend over to get it, giving the panda a great view of her muscularly toned big ass in her shorts. Po shook his head and smiled a bit to hide his staring. "You know, I'm surprised you're so comfortable wearing shorts around me."

Tigress smirked over her shoulder, "I'm surprised you're just noticing. I've been comfortable with you since day three."

"Hmmm. I guess I'm more oblivious than I... thought." Tigress turned when she heard the panda trail off. He had this long-lost stare before a wide grin literally crept its way onto his face. "I have an idea."

"I'm not sure if I'll like this idea."

"I just... want to see something. I'm curious."

"Does it involve my body?" Tigress asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Yes, but with your clothes on," Po explained. The tiger could only stare at him for so long before sighing and sitting down next to him.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well, uhh I've... always wondered like... what feels good to a woman. Like in person."

"And you want to check and see if you're right?" Tigress smirked. Po shyly tapped his fingers together, making the tiger chuckle. "Alright, where did you-" She couldn't finish before Po pressed his lips to hers. Her eyes shut but only for a moment. Po removed his lips and gave her one command.

"Tell me when something doesn't feel good, okay?"

"O-Okay."

The panda's paw slid down her side. It held itself right around the side of her breast, but he grumbled and pushed down. "Is something wrong?" Tigress gasped while the panda's lips were on her neck. "You... you stopped."

"Sorry, just... saving something for later," Po smirked unconsciously. "Does it feel nice?"

"Mmmhmm," Tigress bit her lip.

"You're gonna have to tell me. I can't tell if you're loving this or trying to make me feel good."

"It's good. It's... very good," The tiger gasped again when the panda's hand reached her shorts. They both stared at each other. Jade eyes matched fiery amber. Po's heart pounded in his chest.

He swallowed hard and kissed her. His hand slid between her shorts and her delicate fabric. He felt something interesting that made his head twist. "Huh?"

"Wh-Wh-What?! Did I do something wrong?" Tigress asked.

"No, no of course not. It's just... Oh gods this is gonna sound awkward. What's that plastic feeling?"

The tiger's stoically timid face suddenly changed into a head tilt. "My... pad."

"Huh?"

"For someone who knows a lot about anatomy, I'm surprised you don't know about pads and tampons," Tigress smirked.

"I'm still a novice. Even if I know everything, I still know nothing."

"That... doesn't make sense."

"I'm still new to this, okay!" Po huffed.

The tiger chuckled, "Pads and tampons are used to soak up any... leaking."

"From the... pussy... I mean vagina?"

"Or the urethra where the pee comes out. The pelvic floor for women is a little... sensitive."

"Uhhhh?"

"The muscles you use to stop peeing? They can be too tight or not coordinated enough and can cause some leaks. But most times, pads are used to catch the blood from a menstru- uh... period."

"Thanks for that PSA," Po smiled widely. "I would have never figured that out."

"Why?"

"It's not like schools are good at telling people how men and women work."

Tigress smirked, "Fair point." She slightly gasped as Po went back to kissing her. "Mmm, you're... unpredictable, you know."

"Is that bad?"

"No, just... I have to get used to that," Tigress grinned naughtily. Her body tensed as the panda's fingers searched and pressed different areas through her panties. Po carefully watched the tiger's face twist and turn as he walked his fingers up. "Ahh, what are you doing?"

"Trying to find it."

"The... clit?"

"Yeah, but I'm also trying to find the hole. I mean-" Before Po could catch himself, the tiger was already sniggering at his word choice. "Ugh, I'm a mess."

"We all are," Tigress chuckled. Her hand slowly dipped down and rested atop his. She guided him. "That's the hole."

"Oh! Okay." He delicately slid up until he found the top, feeling her labia. She gasped as he gently pressed a nub. His fingers slowly moved around. Tigress whimpered at the panda's laser-focused stare. She swallowed hard and gasped. His intense glare set her body ablaze. "Right there?" He said in a deep voice.

"Y-Yes, I-I-I... didn't think I could... feel it through the fabric." Her speech struggled to stay in control, but her hand bunched at the panda's shirt while the other steadied her body. His fingers suddenly changed pace. "Oooh not too fast. Just... just there."

"Understood," Po said, hotly breathing against her lips. Tigress swallowed hard. "What?"

"Nothing, you're... doing a great job. Just Oohhh, I'm not used to you staring like that."

Po's face suddenly blinked and relaxed, turning into a kinder open grin. "Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just focused."

"Ah, your resting kill face?"

"You need to stop talking to Nora," Po grumbled, refocusing on the task at hand. He kissed her laughing mouth quiet. She didn't coil as much. "Is it still good?"

"Yes, yes, please don't stop," she said with an air of desperation. Her eyes were fluttering. Half lidded and fully shut. Her full lips gasped against Po's. "Just right there. Please don't change it."

"Ohhh, maybe I should?" the panda teased as he suddenly stopped.

Tigress's moaning face suddenly hardened into a furrowed eyebrow, growling wide-eyed glare that bore through Po. "Uh oh."

"WHY WOULD YOU STOP!!"

"Sorry, sorry!"

"Do you know how long it is for a woman to climax the first time?! It takes time! You don't change it and GRRAHAHH!" She ripped Po's hand away from her and stormed over to her desk. "Unbelievable."

"Sorry, sorry! It's my bad! I thought I was... doing a tease."

"I get that but for women it's different! You have to slowly build up! Not suddenly change up! Its... its-"

"It's like making a dish on the fire and then suddenly changing it to the oven?"

"YES!" Tigress growled. She caught herself when she saw the panda slightly cowering. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout. It's just... I felt close and I just-"

"We can do it again."

"It's going to take a while, Po."

"I know," he smiled a bit. "I don't mind spending more time with you."

Tigress pursed her lips together and looked away for a moment. He's too sweet sometimes, she thought. Sighing, she sat next to him again. "I'm sorry for shouting."

"No, no. I know what it's like to be interrupted," Po sighed. "I thought it was bad with guys."

"With guys, you can tease them like that, but with women, you can't just change up the speed or technique all the time. It's like... simmering to a boil. Or so I'm told."

"Huh?"

"I've... never really orgasmed."

"Oh! Oh this won't do!"

"What are you WHAHHH!" Tigress found herself on her back with a serious-looking panda off to her right side. She felt his fingers on her clothed slit just as he kissed her. "Mmm!" Her muffled moans settled as Po's fingers searched around, again and again, until finding the nub that would make her jump. "Mmmmmahh, Po."

"There?"

"Right there."

"Stay this pace?"

"Just... a little lower and a little faster- right there!" Tigress growled, shutting her eyes. Po spread her legs a bit, letting his hand have better access. He watched her face gasp and lovingly pant with half-lidded eyes drawn to him. "P-Po."

"Hmm, are you close?"

"Just... please be patient with-"

"Of course, Tigress," He said with a kiss. "I'm more than patient with you."

"How did I get so lucky?" Tigress said with a shivering smile. The panda's lips kissed her again and again. Sometimes, he would lose focus and slow his pace until he remembered and sped back up. Tigress laughed a bit when he licked his lips. "Am I tasty?"

"Huh?"

"You ooh look like you want to take a bite of me,"

"Heh, a little," He grunted deeply with a wide grin. The tiger smiled back only to jolt her eyes wide open. "Close?"

"Yes, don't stop!"

"I won't."

"Oooooohhhh, Po. I... I don't think I can-"

"You want me to make sure you don't scream too loud?"

Tigress nodded. She was about to grab her pillow only for the panda to swat her hand away. "I have a better idea."

"Wh-What are you Mmmhh!" He covered her lips with his own, stealing her breath as the twisting inner knots grew. Tigress's eyes widened as he withdrew his mouth a bit. "Po, I'm so close! Don't stop! Please, don't stop! Don't stop! Ah-Ah-AHHHHH! MMMMMMMMMM!" Tigress grabbed onto the panda's face and slammed her lips into his, growling and screaming deeply as her body rode through its orgasm. Her eyes rolled back as her body shivered. Her lips turned cold, making the panda's lips feel so warm. Pleasure zipped through her body like lightning trying to race light itself. Her form shook underneath Po's lips.

Her hand grabbed all she could, struggling for an anchor. It found one lower in his sweatpants. She grabbed the first thing she felt and squeezed while her high went down a little. "GRrrrrrr," Po growled deeply, making Tigress feel the next orgasm trying to sneak up and-

Her eyes widened. He hadn't stopped?! "Ahhh, Po. I-"

"Are you sore?"

"N-No, but it's a little sensitive!" Tigress yelped. The panda slowed down a bit but didn't stop. Because they were doing this through the fabric, there was less direct stimulation.

But this also meant fewer sensitivity issues. "Ohhhhhh fuck," Tigress gasped, feeling another spike sneak up. "D-Don't stop!"

"Never," Po grinned almost villainously. His smile widened as Tigress's body bowed towards the ceiling and then crashed down, panting heavily. She suddenly squeaked before giving another moan that Po kissed her lips for. "Grrrrr."

"Mmmmmm," Tigress's head looped in a bliss that didn't seem to stop. What was this? Orgasm 5? 7? She couldn't tell. But she could tell after maybe the tenth one that her hand was tightly squeezing something long and hard. As Po's head withdrew, she looked down and gasped. "Oh! I'm oooh I'm sorry," She tried to say. "Didn't mean toOooohhh squeeze him."

"Heh, he likes it. It means I'm doing a good job," Po smirked.

"Are you OOooohhh Po! I'm-"

"Just let it go," Po whispered in her triangular ear. "Just let all of those tensions go."

"AHHHMMMMMMMMM!" Tigress's head spun as the panda's lips muffled her orgasm.

It was probably after the 15th orgasm or so when Tigress's body started to say stop. "Okay! Okay, that's enough, please! It's starting to hurt."

The panda immediately stopped. Tigress gasped and panted. Her body trembled from aftershocks. Her eyes looked loopy while a long lost half-lidded stare at the ceiling marked her face. Po smiled, kissing her cheek. "How do you feel?"

"I... I don't think I've ever had a man make me cum before... That was... OOooohhh," Tigress shivered and grinned stupidly.

"Hehe, seems you liked it."

"Oooohh I did," Tigress grinned. "And you love seeing me like this."

"I do." Po smiled almost like a child. The tiger glanced down at the panda and gave an exhausted sigh with a small frown. "What's wrong?"

"I... I don't know if whew... will be able to help you out, Po. I-"

"Oh don't worry about me," Po waved his hand. "I'll be fine."

"But... I don't want you to-"

"I'll be fine," The panda smiled, "Seeing the pleasure on your face was more than enough for me."

"A major ego boost I guess," Tigress lazily grinned.

"Heh, a little bit. Okay, a lot bit." Tigress wearily shook her head and kissed him. "Mmm, your lips are cold."

"So-Sorry."

"Don't be. At least I have a tell for when you orgasm. And it gives me more of a reason to kiss you. Don't want your lips getting hypothermia. That's a real thing you know."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Tigress laughed much louder than she would. The climax high contributed to that. She kissed him again, feeling the same steamy passion from the panda as before. But she felt so weak. Weaker than she had ever been in her life. Her arms suddenly flopped to the side of her body in exhaustion, just to hold onto her face. "I'm tired."

"I can tell," Po smiled, kissing her forehead. "Get some rest, Tigress. You earned it."

"I... I love you, Po."

"Hehe," Po smiled. He knew she was probably hiked up on all the lovely chemicals in her brain.

And yet, he didn't doubt her for a moment.

"I love you, too."

 

Chapter 27

The next day, Po studied with a familiar golden retriever busily texting on her phone. The library's study rooms became their usual place of work. The panda was sketching up a few writing ideas when Megan suddenly said, "So I have a boyfriend."

Po's eyes narrowed. He lifted his head towards the canine. Her words froze the panda's entire world. He clasped his hands together on the table, calmly saying, "Are you... happy about it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I... I don't know if you're doing this out of pity."

"I'm not," She said cooly.

"Why give him a chance?"

"He asked me out for ice cream," Megan explained.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Po clutched his sides. Out of the corner of his squinted eyes, he saw the canine staring at him. "Oh oh ho! I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing at him. It's just... I get why you like him. It's not over the top, it's cute, and he's not going for anything in your pants... yet."

The canine simply nodded. "He's nice. Good guy. But... If I'm being honest, I'm worried."

Po tilted his head. "What... does that look like on you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're more stoic than a statue sometimes. You remind me of Raven from Teen Titans."

Megan's lips cracked a tiny smile. "Fair enough. People always want me for my looks. I've never had a guy just want to play video games with me."

"You play video games?"

"Yeah."

Po blinked and took a deep breath, "Well, it makes sense... not the video game part, but everything else does. I'm glad you finally got someone who's... not there for looks."

Megan gave one of her rare full smiles. It looked normal, but the panda honestly believed her muscles were never strong enough to smile that widely. "I'm sure that your girlfriend won't have to worry about me."

Po's eyes hardened. "Has Tigress been bothering you?"

"No, but anyone can be jealous if they're not aware. It's better to be honest with yourself and what you're feeling," Megan said.

"Is that why you're the way you are?" Po asked. "You just accept your emotions as is and learn not to emote them physically?"

"I just have a naturally cold temperament."

"Oh, that makes sense."

"But things... do get to me."

"Do you take your own advice? About feelings?"

"Sometimes... more now that I have a boyfriend," Megan replied.

"At least you can finally ward off the hounds now. Wait, was that insensitive?"

"In this case no," Megan said with a small smile. Po looked at the clock and sighed as he stood up.

"Well, I think I need to get going. I have to check up on Tigress."

"Is she sick?"

"She's a type A personality, so I have to make sure she's not killing herself with work," Po muttered.

Megan rose her eyebrow. "Didn't you go into an anxiety attack and couldn't sleep for three days because-"

"SHhhhhhhh! Why are you being so loud?!" Po fussed. Megan cracked another small smile before the panda left. Po clutched his brown aviator-style leather jacket. Its warm fuzz shielded him against the frigid winter air. Briskly walking to the mess hall, Po planned to get a small snack before going to Tigress's dorm. As he passed through the cafe, he saw the tiger busily glaring into her papers and books scattered on a table next to the noon-day window. Po slowly approached her. "Uhhh, hello?"

"Hm?" Tigress snapped her head up. "Oh! Po, sorry I'm just a little busy."

"I'm sure the blind can see that," Po sat down. Books of medical terminology, fitness, and psychology of sports lay scattered on the table. Po glanced at her plate. Large traces of bean soup, bread pudding, and fried tofu were still there. "What's going on?"

The striped student didn't move her eyes from her work. "I'm just trying to raise my grades a bit."

"Tigress, you have high grades in these classes."

"Yeah, but I want them to be higher."

Po sighed as he slowly closed the book she was reading. The tiger's glaring face turned to the panda but softened immediately. "Do you have a perfectionism issue?"

"Po, it's just a little stress, that's all."

"Ah, the same little stress that sent me to the hospital."

"Ha, ha," Tigress said with a roll of her eyes. But another look at the panda showed he didn't exaggerate. "Wait, seriously? That stuff you told me online was true?"

"It started with small stuff. Jitters, not eating enough, barely moving around, sunken eyes. I was going nonstop and everyone could see it except me. Then I stopped sleeping. It felt like if I closed my eyes, my heart would stop. Every time I thought I could relax, my body tensed up and kept me awake," Po took a long pause, staring deep into the dark wood table. "You don't know how long the nights are until you're forced to be awake. It got to the point Monkey had to rush me to the hospital because I thought I would die from sleeplessness."

"Oh, Po."

The panda stretched out his arm and felt the tiger's super tight shoulder. "And it seems like your body is already taking a toll. Just... don't try so hard you break. Take small steps. It's like working out. You didn't get this stressed overnight. It built up over time. You didn't build your goddess body in a day. It took time."

Tigress smirked, "I didn't think you saw me like that."

"Uhhh haha. Let's just say I'm... actually I got nothing," Po groaned. "My point is don't build Rome in a day, spread it out over several. It's less taxing."

"Hmm."

"Of course, you may be just lethargic from-"

"Po, don't you dare!" Tigress grumbled though the panda smirked at the small quiver in her lips.

"Anyway, you need a break. You barely ate anything, and sometimes the most productive thing you can do is rest."

"Rest," Tigress sighed, "My parents would say otherwise."

"Well, your parents can only pay so much of your hospital bill," Po replied. She glanced at him and sighed loudly. Her eyes stared down at the test book that might as well be gibberish at this point.

"Why is it so hard to be ourselves?"

"I don't know," Po groaned heavily, "I thought I would be happy when everyone was happy. But... happiness starts with us. We can't make people happy. We can't make ourselves happy. We can only do our best and hope they will find happiness."

Tigress smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. "You're a great person, Po."

"Heh, thanks."

"Wait a minute," The tiger's head jolted up. "I think I got it!" Tigress scribbled down some stuff in her notes. Po only smiled at her.

Time passed from there. The cold grew stronger as the middle of the semester came on. Po managed to secure a job after his graduation. Things would be a little tricky with Tigress still in school, but she was passing her exams with flying colors, something she constantly heard her mother praise Po for. "But I'm the one who's taking the exams," She'd say over the phone.

"Yes, but he's helping you focus AND making sure you relax," The older tiger said. Tigress rolled her eyes, but the smirk on her face couldn't stop.

After the last exam, Po dragged his body over to Tigress's dorm where the panda collapsed onto the bed. The tiger amusingly patted the panda's back. "You know, those beds aren't any different from yours."

"You have a great comforter underneath, so it's super soft," Po replied through a muffled voice. He rolled onto his side and gave a loud groan. "Midterms are finally over."

"Are you going home?" Tigress asked with a tint of worry.

"No, I'm staying here. Dr. Shifu wanted to talk to me, and I want to save the gas money for Christmas break."

"Makes sense. I have one more class, then I'm done for the day."

"That's good."

"But... since I'm done studying, I want to treat you."

Po's alarm bells forced his ears up and his eyes to sharpen. The tiger was smirking at him. "Treat me how?" She leaped at him, pushed him back onto the bed, and kissed him deeply. "Whoa! Uh Okay, heh. I guess I can deal with this," Po chuckled. He kissed back, gently caressing the tiger's face. His hand trailed down her right side, gently feeling her breast through the thin fabric.

"Hmm, you're getting adventurous."

"Sorry."

"No, it's okay," Tigress grinned with a hunger Po couldn't describe. "I was just wondering if... I could treat you... differently."

"D-D-Differently how?"

"The way you treated me?"

"Uuuhh how do you-" The panda stopped when he felt the tiger's paw on his crotch. "Oh! Uhhhh are you uhh you don't have to. I'm not forcing you or-"

"Po?"

"It's just," the panda sighed, "I don't want you to do something just because you think I expect it. I don't. It... might be nice, but I don't want to pressure you and-"

"Po?"

"Yes?"

The tiger kissed him passionately before withdrawing. "Shut up."

"Shutting up," The bear nervously grinned. Tigress crawled down and grasped the helm of Po's sweatpants. She looked up and saw the panda's worried frown.

"Don't worry, Po. I don't judge. Besides, I've had big before."

"Oh! Uhh."

"It was very Very painful."

"Oh," Po said flatly.

"Don't worry. Bigger isn't always better."

"I know, I know. It's hard not to believe, though," Po sighed with a small smile. Tigress smiled back and pulled down the panda's pants and underwear in one go. His pulsing member rose to the occasion, flying out and slowly rising higher like it was stretching from its cramped position. Tigress's wide eyes made Po gulp. "Is... something wrong?"

"You're definitely big," She said.

"Too big?" Po asked, worried.

"No, no, perfectly big," Tigress smirked. The panda's member was around 6.5-7 inches, throbbing with a thickness that warmed Tigress's insides. "I... forgot to tell you... I... don't swallow cum."

"Oh, no problem."

"Are you sure?"

"Tigress, I know what cum tastes like. I wouldn't-"

"WHOA WHOA WHOA!" Tigress stopped, laughing, "You've tasted cum before?"

"Uhhhhh, did I say that?" Po sheepishly grinned. The tiger's eyes stayed on him. He sighed, "Alright, alright. I... did try it just to know what it tasted like when I was much younger. It's... weird."

"Why?"

"I wanted to know if it's as bad or good as people say it is. It isn't," Po bowed his head. Tigress smiled and kissed his belly.

"It's okay, Po. I'm just... surprised you would experiment with yourself."

"I've seen and done things, Tigress. Lots of things," He said ominously.

"I can imagine." She wrapped her hand around the panda's member, quickly stroking it. She smiled a bit at his flinching. It had been a while since he had jerked off. The tiger grinned sinisterly inside her head.

That meant he was sensitive.

She went faster and harder, stroking with great speed until "Ahh! Ow ow ow ow!"

"Oh! I'm sorry!"

"No, no, it's fine. You were just pulling way too much," Po grunted. "I know it's called a 'jerk off' but guys don't actually try to jerk it off. You know that, right?"

There was a long silence.

"You know that right?" Po repeated more seriously.

"Ummmmm."

"Oh dear."

"It's just... with how hard they jerk it off in porn I-"

"Annnnnnd now I know the culprit," Po groaned, slapping his head to his forehead.

Porn really did mess up things.

Po looked down and saw Tigress's head dipping. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm not upset. It was gonna be a learning curve anyway."

"I guess I'm just rusty," Tigress sighed, gently stroking him. Po's entire body relaxed, making her relieved. "My... exes always wanted it rough and... ."

"Huh, maybe they were just desensitized. Or masochists."

"That... makes more sense," Tigress smiled.

"But yeah, guys don't ooh, actually jerk it off hard like that. It's like... rubbing the skin. In porn, they're grazing it fast, plus there's lube somewhere. It's light friction. When it's lubed up, you can graze faster. When they grip it harder, they're only moving the skin around as far as it comfortably goes." Po grabbed his big arm, clasped it, and moved the fur around rapidly. "Just move the skin, but don't try to rip it. And twist it like you're grazing it. Remember, your skin can move just a bit. I know you squeezed me hard when I made you cum, but you weren't jerking me off then. Squeezing in one place felt good. Light, fast stroking feels good. When you combine the two, be careful. It can feel like you're yanking the skin off if you're too tight or if there's too much friction. 

"Also," He continued, "The balls are really REAALLLY sensitive to pulling and tugging. They can be mishandled if done wrong. I know in porn it looks like they can take a lot but still treat them like eggs."

Tigress rose her eyebrow, releasing his member and crossing her arms. "For someone who's interested in women, you know a lot about male anatomy."

"Gee I wonder why," Po said, in a deadpanned voice.

"I'm just saying. I figured men liked it rough."

"Men only say that because it LOOKS hot online, but you can make anything look hot. When men do it themselves, they know what buttons to press and how to grip it so to not hurt themselves. It's actually a much lighter grip than you think. But when someone else does it for them, they become either the most insensitive people in the world or the biggest babies."

"Which are you?"

"Wwaaaa waaaaa," Po cried. Tigress shook her head with a smile. She crawled up to his face and kissed him.

"Well, I'll keep that in mind. But you have to tell me if I'm doing a good job."

"O-Okay," Po said with a shaky smile. "H-How do I do Ooohh that?" He jumped a bit as he felt the tiger's soft hand rubbing his member.

"You know what they say. You have to be more vocal in the bed," Tigress smirked.

"Does that mean I should play a trumpet or-"

"Shut up smart ass," Tigress chuckled and kissed the panda. Po sat up in the bed, propping his back against the wall while the tiger's soft lips were still on his. He jumped as her finger delicately slid over the tip. Their lips parted for a moment. "Did I hurt you?" She panted.

"No, no that was oooh good."

"Do you like that?"

"Yeah, this feels awesome. Your hands are surprisingly soft."

"Mmm." Her low purring raked against Po's neck. Her paw stayed around the tip making Po's hips buck up. "Mmm, do you like that, panda?"

"Yes, yes, I do," Po gasped, clutching the bedsheets.

Or what he thought were bedsheets. He looked down and saw a massive towel underneath him. "Wh-When did you put a towel out?"

"You'd be surprised how unaware you are at times," Tigress smiled smugly. "Like how you think I can't tell you want to grope my breasts."

"Oh! It's just uuuhhh I didn't ooooh-" He couldn't be nervous. Not when her controlling paw kept stroking from base to tip agonizingly slow. He moaned and bucked into her hand. "Ahhhh."

"Shhh, easy, Po."

"Sorry, I... didn't think I'd be this oooh vocal."

Tigress grinned and bit her bottom lip. "Maybe this will help."

"What do you-" Po was too shocked to finish. The tiger removed her T-shirt and undid her black bra.

There they were. Her breasts. White furred mounds about the size of a... well Po wouldn't compare them to any fruit or melon, although they looked delicious. The panda shook his head when he heard Tigress laughing. "Uhhh-"

"Did you want to suck on one?" She asked with low-lidded eyes. Po swallowed hard.

Why are you hesitating?

It's polite.

Go for it!

Not until she says so

"Po? Are you okay?"

"Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes, I'm just... having an argument with my mind," Po mumbled. "A-A-Are you sure? You don't-"

"Just be gentle, please?" Tigress smiled sweetly. How those eyes could change from seductive to pure sweetness on a dime, Po could not understand. He tentatively drew closer. Her breasts were much rounder than he imagined. His right hand lightly groped the left breast while his lips suckled right around the erect nipple. He looked up from his curious exploration and saw Tigress's wide smile. "You look so cute like that."

"This doesn't feel weird?"

"It is. But... you look like a baby."

"Hmph," He stopped.

"Po, I was kidding!"

"No, you weren't."

"Please don't be upset," Tigress whined, though she could barely cover her smile.

"Hmm, you're lucky I'm horny and you're hotter than the sun," Po muttered. The tiger tittered at the compliment as her hand stroked him again.

Po felt a deep weird comfort. His lips gently wrapped around her nipple, lightly groping the other to elicit a slight moan from her. She smirked down at him. Her amber eyes gazed at Po with a primal caring instinct. He bucked his hips again. Her paw was so soft and gentle yet teased at each stroke. "Mmmm."

"You like that?"

"Mmmhmm," He moaned. Tigress's grin couldn't be wider. "Mmmahh, s-s-sorry if I'm doing this wrong."

"Don't worry. I don't feel much from my breasts, but you're doing a good job."

"I can-"

"Shhhhh," She gently shooed his hands away from her lower body. "This is your time to be treated."

"Hehe, I don't think I'm really worth that much attention."

"You are to me," Tigress purred. Kissing him passionately, the tiger slowly sped up her stroking, changing from fast to teasingly slow.

"Ahhhh, please ahmmmm." Her soft juicy lips paused his speech. She pulled back and watched the panda's panting lust-lost face with a long wide grin.

She did that to him.

"Do you want to cum?"

"Yes."

"Hmm, maybe I should slow down since that's what you did to me."

"I-I-It was an accident! I'm sorry!"

"Mmmm," The tiger grinned, slowing her stroking just to the tip. Po jittered against the wall, struggling to keep still. "Ooohhh, you like that, don't you?"

"I feel so close!"

"Yeah?"

"Pl-Please more I... I can't cum like this-"

"Oh? You can't cum when I'm teasing the tip like this?" Tigress smirked, lightly dancing her fingers along his bulbous head.

"Ahh, Tigress!"

"Shhhshhh. It's okay," Tigress hummed, kissing his neck. "Cum for me," She hissed. Her hand suddenly stroked him fast and full.

"Bu I'll-"

"Don't worry, just cum for me," Tigress whispered into his ear. "Cum for mommy."

"OOohhh fuck! AMHMMMMMMM!" Her plump lips silenced Po as he came. Ropes of semen spurted out of his cock as he grabbed onto Tigress tightly. She grinned from ear to ear as her lips muffled his screams of pleasure.

But her hand didn't stop. "Mmmahh! Wait! Wait! Have mercy! It's really sensitive!"

"Ohh? Then this should be better, right?" She slowed down, letting the panda relax his entire body. "Mmmmm, let's see if you have more in you."

"Ti-Tigress, you know the refractory period is-" Her lips stopped him again. His eyes fell shut and his hands went back to her breasts. One hand slid down her taut torso. But her free hand grabbed it and pushed it away. Po released her lips, confused at her smile.

"I'm onto your tricks, Po. You're not gonna make me a mess today."

"But I like seeing you like that," He said 'innocently'. Tigress only grinned as the pace of her stroking sped up. "Ahhh Oooh Tigress!"

"Still sensitive?"

"II-I-II!" Po looked down in amazement. Somehow, the tiger had resurrected his member in record time. Sure, being young made his refractory period smaller but still. Her paw skillfully twirled around the tip, making the panda's head smack against the wall. "Fuck."

"Heh, language, Po."

"C'mere you," Po growled as he suckled on her nipple.

"Ahh! Oohhh," Tigress giggled and smirked. "Oh, does the baby panda like his tiger mommy?"

"Uhhh about that," The panda grinned sheepishly. "I-"

"It's okay, Po. I already had a pet name for you."

"Wh-What's that?" Po stuttered, feeling her speed up. She leaned closer to his ear with a hot smile.

"Master or... daddy."

"Ahh!" Po bucked his hips.

"Mmm, You like that?"

"Yeah."

"Show me how much you like it. Cum for me."

"Tigmmmmm!" Again, his lips were sealed as he came a second time. The previous semen acted as lube for his second orgasm. His hips bucked uselessly as the world span around him. But he could only focus back on Tigress's soul-sucking lips.

I'm dying and in heaven

His brain suddenly sounded an alarm when he felt pleasure skyrocketing.

She wasn't stopping.

"Wait! Wait! Tigress!" The evil grin on the tiger's face was all Po could see. "Ahh! It's sensitive ahhhh ooooohhhh naskldgasg s ohtaskts dkas dklsjt ete NOOT NOOT!"

"Haha, are you okay?!"

"AHHHHHH I'm dying!" Po silently screamed. His eyes rolled back as his mouth dropped.

Suddenly, the assault of pleasure stopped. The panda collapsed onto the side, resting on Tigress's pillow. "You killed me. You killed me and I'm in ghost form," Po wheezed

"Hehe, sorry."

"NOTHING in your soul right now is sorry," Po weakly pointed at the tiger. "I can see that succubus grin on your face."

"You started it," She smirked. Po rolled his eyes until he felt the weight of exhaustion swallow his body into a 'good' paralysis.

"I don't think I can move, Tigress."

"Then don't. Stay here," the feline kissed the panda's cheek. "You've earned it."

"But-"

"Shhhh, it's okay," Tigress smiled. Po's heavy panting slowed into gentle breathing. The weight of his eyes pushed him into sleep.

 

Chapter 28

He was lost for a moment when he finally came to. The panda lifted his heavy head from soft pillows that smelled of lavender and lilac. The room's hues made him tremble a bit. "Whe-Where am I?" He groaned, rubbing his head. "What time is it?" 

His mind recollected last night. "Man that was awesome," Po moaned softly, rolling his head back. His shiver reminded him that there was someone else in the room. 

Or should be someone else? Glancing around, Po couldn't see the tiger that had given him so much pleasure all at once. He shifted in her bed.

The crumpling of paper called his attention. He grabbed a small note.

Dear Po,

You were still sleeping when I got up and I didn't want to wake you. I have class, but thank you for letting me treat you. It was fun making you explode if you know what I mean ;)

Love Tigress

Her note made the panda get a little heated. He pulled his phone out to text Tigress, only to see the time.

9:00 am.

"CRAP! I have to get to Dr. Shifu quick!" Thankfully, he didn't need to throw on more clothes. Quickly shooting to his dorm, he grabbed his bookbag and ran out the door. Tracking over the field, up the mountain, skidding to a right, down the student promenade, straight into the English Department and screeched to a stop right outside of the door. 

"Come in," Dr. Shifu said after hearing a knock. The door opened to a panting panda gripping his heart. "Oh! Po, are you okay?"

"Sorry I'm... late," Po gasped

"Actually, you're just in time. Our meeting doesn't start until 9:15 am." 

"O-Okay," Po collapsed into a chair. "Sooo what do we do?"

"Well this meeting was just to go over your end-of-year survey. And... I wanted to tell you something."

"What's that?" Po asked.

"I'm... retiring." 

"What?!" 

"I'm retiring. I think I've done enough teaching for a while and I think it's time to get ready for the next chapter of my life." 

"Whoa."

"It is a big transition. I wanted you to be one of the first people to know." 

"Wow, thanks Dr. Shifu. I... I really appreciate it. And thanks for being an awesome teacher. I don't think I'd make it through college without you."

Shifu smiled, "I think you would've, but I humbly say thank you."

"I'll try to make you proud," Po said. 

"Just make the story of your life the best story it can be," Shifu replied, "That will make me happy enough." 

The two continued on with the survey. Later on, Po walked over to the mess hall when he saw Jessica sitting on a bench just outside the building. "Hey, Jess. What's up?" Po asked, sitting next to her. 

"I was just about to ask you," She smirked. "I've been looking for your black and white ass. I wanted to tell you something upfront."

"You know cellphones were invented a while ago," Po teased. 

"Shut up, wise-ass," Jessica chuckled. "Anyway, me and Bai are... finally a thing."

"Oh! Congrats."

"You're not surprised?"

"I'm more surprised you weren't a thing sooner. You're all over that woman, in more ways than one."

Jessica's sensual leer crept onto her face. "Speaking of which, have you and Tigress been fooling around?" 

Po stayed silent for a moment before sighing, "That's... kinda personal, Jess."

"It's okay, Po. But from your smile and stagger, I think I already know."

"Stop teasing me," Po blushed.

"So when are you getting married?"

"Married?"

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Po it's obvious to everyone that you want to take this one to the next level. You're finished with your senior project, you're talking about your future seriously, and you're already getting laid-" 

"I'm not confirming or denying that."

"You already did," Jessica smirked. "but it's obvious you like this girl."

"I do."

"No, you oblivious panda! I mean more than just a crush. You're in love. Like... the white picket three children love."

Po shrugged. "We just met. Sure it's been almost a year, but we don't know each other that much."

"I think you'll get to know each other over time. So what are you waiting for?"

"Maturity?" Po shrugged. The husky rolled her eyes again, but she didn't say anything. She sighed. Either way, it probably wasn't best to rush Po if he wasn't prepared.

"Alright, I'll believe that for now. Just remember this because it took me a hell of a long time to figure out. Don't try changing her into someone she's not. You can change yourself, not other people. And she should know that too."

"I'll remember that. Thanks Jessica," Po smiled, standing up from the bench. He walked to the mess hall where he saw Tigress sitting at a table with a bunch of bananas, oats, soup, fruit juice, and water. "Uhhh, is this a new diet you're on?"

"No," Tigress sighed. She turned her head away from Po. "I... fainted in lab."

"WHAT?!" 

"Po don't overreact."

"Tigress, are you okay?! What happened? Did the-"

"Po, stop!" Tigress sighed. "They just said I fainted from lack of food." 

"Because you've been going nonstop without a break!" Po glared. Tigress rolled her eyes. "Did you tell your parents?"

"Why should I? It's no big deal."

"Tigress, you can't push yourself to the breaking point all the time. You're not a machine. You're a person who needs rest."

"The panda's right," said a voice behind them. A large muscular lioness with a loose-fitting T-shirt and gym shorts came up to them to sit. "Couldn't help hear you two arguing. Hope I can be the referee. 

"It's not that serious," Tigress grumbled.

"She fainted in class," Po explained. 

Nora's eyes hardened back on Tigress. The tiger grumbled under her teeth. "I'm not a baby. I can handle things myself. It's just stress." 

"Which can kill. You should know that," Nora said. "Overtraining isn't just for the gym. You should know that from your psycho classes. Mental shit hits hard for something that's just in your head."

Tigress took a deep breath and nibbled on a banana. "Maybe you're right. I'm sorry for arguing Po." 

"I just wanted to make sure that you're okay," Po smiled warmly. The tiger smiled back. 

"It's cute that you care so much about me."

"Of course, I do. I lo... I care about you a lot," Po said. The striped feline smiled wider before eating the rest of her food. 

"Well, I think our patient is getting better. I should get going to my own lover."

"Uhhh, does he know about your Ms. Muscles bit-"

"Po! I told you not to talk about that," The lion growled. The panda only smirked while a confused tiger glanced between the two. "It's nothing. I just... needed some extra money."

"There's no shame in-"

"You almost sound interested in it," Tigress mentioned. The panda's eyes widened at both of the felines smirking at him. 

"Oh no, no, no, no. Don't try and flip this on me!" 

Nora laughed, "I'll let you two lovebugs have your privacy." She went away, leaving Tigress to tend to a pouting panda. 

"What?"

"Can't believe you pushed me under the bus like that."

"I'm sorry, but you were teasing her," Tigress said. Po huffed but it didn't last long when he saw her face no longer holding her smile. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I... Now that I think about it, it is ridiculous for me to faint just by overworking myself like this. Especially when..." She trailed off. She didn't say anything until she felt Po's hand on hers. 

"Especially when?"

"Especially when... I'm not sure if this is something I want to do. I like it, but... I've been listening to everyone around me for a while. People say I'm hardworking, but I don't want to be working so hard that I faint."

Po gave a sad smile, "I understand. I know you love your parents and want to make them proud, but ultimately, you have to live your own life. I mean, you could do what I did when I was in that spot. I turned off social media and just focused being here. Working on the life in front of me. I learned to take life slowly."

"Isn't that boring?"

"Boredom isn't as bad as you think. That's where most of my writing ideas come from. And I think it can be relaxing. Relaxing isn't about doing nothing. It's about pumping the brakes. Not about adding stuff but subtracting." 

Tigress smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Thank you, Po." 

They finished eating together. The panda decided to walk the promenade with her. "Are you sure I should be outside?" Tigress asked. 

"You're not a shut-in. Besides, walking helps with digestion." 

"Hiiii Po!" 

"But running sounds good about now," Po sighed, though he smiled as he turned around to see the caller. There before them was a familiar white wolf with her black coat and bright blue scarf for the cold weather. "Hey Mia. How are you doing?" 

"Great, I was-" She stopped when her eyes spotted Tigress. "Oh! I didn't know you knew each other."

"You know... Tigress?" 

"She's on the event committee," Mia explained. 

"Right, another commitment she has," Po murmured, side-glaring the overworked tiger. "Anyway, what are you doing out here? I thought... uhh-"

"It's okay. Actually, since that time at the gym, I've... actually been talking with someone." 

"About-"

"Not that," Mia said, shaking her head. "I mean... I have a boyfriend."

"WHAT?!" Po and Tigress exclaimed. The wolf's eyes narrowed on the feline. 

"It's just... I thought you already had one," Tigress explained. 

"No, no, this one caught me by surprise. And now I'm making sure he doesn't die on me," Mia retorted. 

"Who's-"

"AACCCHHHOOO!" 

"Never mind," Po chuckled. Coming towards them was an overly bundled white bird with a bright red scarf around his neck. He shivered as he struggled to the group, sniffling loudly. "Hello Shen. I'm surprised you're outside."

"He's not supposed to," Mia murmured. 

"It's just a small cold. I'll be... Ah.. Ahhhh... ACCCHHHOOO!" He sniffled loudly. 

"Well, I'm glad that you two are together," Po smiled, "Someone as argumentative as Shen might convince you that you don't need to worry so much about others' opinion." 

"He does, and he is," Mia smiled, gently holding the peacock's wing. "It was nice seeing you, Po. Thanks for everything." The wolf and bird passed them. Po was a little surprised she didn't hug him like normal. 

He looked at Tigress, pensively staring at the white wolf. Okay, maybe now wouldn't be the best time. Makes sense, he thought to himself. 

"Po, did you-"

"I actually didn't have a crush on Mia," Po finished. 

"I... didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," The panda smiled, gently grabbing Tigress's paw. "I have my own love to attend to." 

A wide smile bridged across the feline's face. 

 

Chapter 29

The big panda laughed heartily as his wife fed the tiger more food than she could eat. Po rolled his eyes with a slight smile. He watched his parents spoil Tigress like she was their own cub. "We couldn't believe it when Po said that he had a girlfriend. We thought he was lying," His father said. 

"Dad, why would I lie about that?"

"You tell a lot of stories, son. It's not a stretch."

"Oh stop teasing him, Li Shan," The female panda hushed. "It's so good to have you here, honey. I'm glad you could come over. And you're planning to let Po visit your parents as well?"

"Well, he's already seen my parents. They like him... a little more than me," Tigress gently teased. Po smirked proudly. "But thank you so much for having me during Christmas break, Mr. and Mrs. Ping."

"Oh dearie, you can call me Mom," The female panda smiled warmly. The tiger smiled back, eating along with her new bear family. 

Po couldn't be jealous. The tiger was finally learning how to relax. 

After dinner, Po showed the tiger around the house and his room. His blue walls held a world map, a calendar, and a case of hovering bookshelves. A few clothes sullied the floor, mostly socks and shoes. A few action figures were on a shelf above the computer with a chair that seemed to have the panda's butt print on it. Tigress smirked. "What?" Po asked. "I know it's not that clean but-"

"It's fine, Po. I was expecting more... video games, poster women-"

"Don't worry, they're in the closet."

"What?"

"What?" Po repeated. "No, I'm kidding."

"Why do you have info posters?"

"I'm a writer. I need to know where Kazakhstan is in a heartbeat."

Tigress smiled as she sat on the panda's bed, glancing around the room. "Soooo, what do you think about my parents?" Po asked. 

"They're nice," Tigress said. "I'm more worried about how you'll take my parents."

"I already get along with them."

"In an open area. Not in their own house."

"Do they own guns?"

"Po!" 

"I'm serious!" The tiger rolled her eyes as Po sat next to her. "But I like your parents. I know they're a bit... much but everyone's like that."

"Yeah, I know," Tigress smiled. Just then, a knock at the door came. Li Shan popped his head into the room. 

"Sorry to interrupt, but I have to talk with Po."

"Sure, Dad." The pandas left the room only to go a few steps down the second-floor hall. Po saw his father turn with a rare, serious look. "Uhhh what's wrong?"

"I... just wanted to give you something before you two go back to college. She's a nice girl, Po. And I hope you'll take responsibility."

"Re... sponbilit-" Before Po could even finish the word, Li Shan gave him a box of condoms. "Oh Come on DAD!" 

"I'm just making sure you're prepared."

"We're not doing anything like that."

"Son, I know what it was like to be your age," Li Shan said, "If it weren't for rough times back then, we would've had you years before."

"Uhhh thank you for that mental image," Po grumbled under his breath. 

"I'm just saying to be prepared."

"You do realize she's a tiger, right?"

Li Shan shrugged, "You never know. My dog friend had a baby with his cat wife. A little pup, too. Looks just like them."

"Yeah, but-"

"Just... be safe, okay. That's all I ask," Li Shan smiled, resting a hand on his son's shoulder. Po manufactured a replica smile just to get rid of the awkward embarrassment. As his dad left, Po looked at the black box in his hands and sighed as he headed to his room. He tried stuffing the box into his pocket, but it wouldn't fit. 

He walked into the room. Tigress stared right at him and then at the box. Her eyes widened, but so did her smirk. "I'm guessing your father had 'the talk' with you."

"I am... so sorry."

"They're just trying to be helpful, Po." 

"I know, but... still embarrassing," The panda grumbled, tossing the box aside. "Alright, enough of that. You want to play video games?" 

Tigress rose her eyebrow. "You know, I was open to anything. I just didn't think you'd want to do that. Most guys I know try to hide how much they like video games. At least, they never let me play."

"Is that because you're bad at it?"

Tigress's eyes hardened at the panda's slight smile. "I can't be good at something I rarely play."

"Hmm, sounds to me like you're scared to be beaten."

"You're trying to appeal to my pride. It won't work," Tigress smirked. 

"Oh? So you don't want the chance to show me up?" Po smirked back. His ears picked up the tiger's low growl echoing in the room. 

"You're on," She grinned. 

The time at Po's house was great. Tigress felt like she could fully relax with the panda around, though his family would keep her full for the week. The next week was spent with Tigress's parents. Their house was large and somewhat minimalistic. Po wasn't surprised at Mr. Laohu's large collection of law books. 

He was surprised at the considerable number of computer books. "Why do you have so many?" Po asked. 

Mr. Laohu shrugged as he sat in a large easy chair. "I've always had a passion for technology. I have built most of my computers."

"Wow! I... didn't think a lawyer would have time for-"

"A career is something you like to do with your hands. It's what you would do even if you weren't paid." 

Po raised his eyebrow. "You would argue with people even if you weren't paid."

Mr. Laohu smiled with all the teeth in the world. "You've... met my wife, haven't you?"

"I HEARD THAT!" Came a shout from the kitchen that made both men flinch. Po and Mr. Laohu laughed sheepishly, though a weird bond formed between the two. 

Tigress smiled with folded arms, watching the two men talk in her father's study. "He's a good one, you know."

"Hm?"

"Po," Mrs. Laohu said with a small smile. "He has a good heart. And... he's okay with-"

"Yes, mother. He's fine with my... history," Tigress sighed, rubbing her arm. Her mother gently rested her hand on her daughter's shoulder. The older tiger walked over to the microwave to get the cooked food. "I'm surprised you two are okay with him."

"Po's not like the others. I can tell," Her mother said. "Besides, he's MUCH different than your other boyfriends."

"Mom."

"I'm just saying." 

Tigress rolled her eyes. "But... what about him made you-"

"The fact that he was honest. Radically honest. Most of your boyfriends try to put on a show or act. He's transparent."

"You... know he's not perfect, right?" Tigress asked. Her mother stopped and sharpened her gaze at her. "He... has problems just like everyone else. He's just... more honest about them."

"I figured," Mrs. Laohu said calmly, crossing her arms. "Why do you say that?"

"I... don't want you to put him on a pedestal. I don't want you guys to pressure him to be-"

"Oh Tigress," her mom smiled, "I know he's not perfect. I could tell the moment I saw him. But the fact that he's honest and he tries his best no matter what, we couldn't help but like him." Her mother's lips turned mischievous. "Besides, it helps that he's very cute." 

"Uh-huh," Tigress smiled.

"Which... reminds me." Tigress watched her mother put all the food on low before going to her room. She came back with a box that Tigress knew all too well. A birth control box.

"Mom, who's that for?"

"For you."

"WHAT?!"

"I know you two are young, which is why-"

"Mom, we are not doing ANYTHING close to that!" her daughter hissed quietly.

Mrs. Laohu gave an unimpressed look, "Tigress, I know what your father and I were like when we were young. You should've seen it. We could barely-"

"I don't need the mental image!" Tigress groaned, "Just... why?"

"You never know when you might need it." 

Tigress growled in annoyance, rubbing her muzzle. Suddenly, a black and white bear walked into the kitchen. The two tigers scattered and tossed the box aside. "He-Hey! Po, what's wrong?"

"Uhh nothing. Could I talk with you?" 

Tigress slowly nodded, glancing over to her worried mother. The two walked over to her room. Her room was a nice, calming shade of red. Neatly placed and organized around a fluffy rug on the floor. There was a large bed where the panda sat and gave a long sigh. Tigress's arms hugged herself, pensively looking at the panda. "What's wrong?"

Po saw her stance. "It's... nothing too big. I didn't mean to scare you. I just... I wanted to talk about... future plans." 

"Like?" 

"Anything! Marriage, kids, cars, life after graduation, stuff like that." Po tilted his head. "Why are you so worried?"

Tigress relaxed her shoulders. "I... thought you were going to say we needed some space or-"

"Tigress, do you really think I'm an idiot?!" Po asked harshly. "Why would I even do that?"

"I... I don't know," The tiger sighed, sitting next to Po. "My previous boyfriends never really gave me reasons why they left so... I'm sorry." 

"It's okay. I'm sorry for overreacting," Po sighed. "But no, I was thinking about the future and... I want to confess something. I'm... not really good at this stuff."

"Relationships?"

"Planning out the future. And it's like... the more I try to plan things out, the worse the results go. Like... It's like my stories. The ones I put more thought into, suffer the most. It's only after the whole thing that I see what went wrong. Trying harder doesn't always work. In the end, I was overthinking and I didn't keep things simple."

"Seems like being consistent is more helpful," Tigress smiled. Po bowed his head and sighed. "I get it. But plans do help us go in some kind of direction. I know what it's like to try and wait for the perfect moment." Tigress hugged Po, burying her head onto his chest. "Hopefully I'll be there to help you stop what I have been struggling with."

"What's that?"

"Perfectionism." 

"Heh," Po smiled and kissed her forehead. "Thanks... I appreciate it." She gently placed a kiss on his lips, catching a glimpse of his half-lidded eyes before he kissed her again. Her hands instantly wrapped around his neck. She felt his big muscular arms swaddle her, causing her to growl deeply. She parted her lips just slightly. Her eyes jumped open a bit when the panda tickled the inside of her mouth. She chuckled and moaned. Slowly, she felt Po pull away, replacing her lips with a worried face. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing just... didn't want to get too heated," Po smiled briefly. "And... I wanted to ask some important questions." 

Tigress nodded but found herself gulping. The panda took a long breath. "Where... are we going? I mean... this relationship? We've known each other for two years and... I was wondering what you wanted to do?" 

Tigress blinked before creasing her lips into a smile. She placed her hands in his lap. "I want to be with you. Forever, if that's okay with you." 

Po grinned broadly, "I would like nothing more." 

"But uh... I was wondering. Would you be... opposed to a court wedding? I've... never really liked the amount of money spent on a traditional wedding. It puts a lot of couples in trouble with finances and I don't want to rely on our parents for expenses."

"Oh! I'm okay with that. A court wedding or a small wedding is fine with me. Heck, we can just save up for a small ceremony." 

Tigress breathed a huge sigh of relief and hugged him. "I'm glad you're okay with that."

"In the end, the wedding is just the start of the rest of our lives. And I want to spend that time with you."

Her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped a bit. "I... I don't... that's the most beautiful thing I've heard someone say to me." 

"Heh, yeah, I'm surprised I said that too," Po joked, playfully receiving a punch from the tiger. 

A few days later, the two of them were back at Jade University. Things were going well for the panda's Senior winter semester. 

A little too well. 

It snuck up on him while he was on his computer. His mind-wandering brought his fingers to a familiar website. "What the, no, no, no, no! What am I doing?!" But old habits die hard. It was over before he knew it. He was enraged. "DRAAAGGH! What the fuck! Why can't I stop doing this crap?!" He shouted in his car, slamming his fists to the steering wheel. "GRAAAHH!" He shoved the car key in and turned on the car. A long drive before class settled him down, though Po actively had to dodge some cars as he sped along. 

Addiction recovery was a journey. He knew that. But the pitfalls and potholes in this journey were starting to get on his nerves. 

But as he drove into the student parking lot, a great dread fell into his head. 

How would he tell Tigress?

Po's wide jade eyes searched for an answer as he absentmindedly walked into class. He barely got the notes down. He hadn't thought about how his addiction would affect Tigress, but he wanted to be fully honest with her. 

But what will she think? Po scratched the side of his face as he walked back to the Co-Ed dorm. "What am I gonna do?" Po sighed. 

"What are you gonna do?"

"WHAAA!!" Po jumped away from the striped feline standing just outside her dorm door. "Don't scare me like that!" 

"Sorry," Tigress rose her eyebrow. "What's wrong, Po? And don't say nothing because we both know that you're bad at lying."

"Damn it," Po grumbled. He hung his head as he walked into her room and sat on her bed. He waited until Tigress was sitting next to him. "I... I messed up." 

"Messed up h-"

"I... looked at... stuff online and... porn stuff," Po muttered through gritted teeth. His eyes were only on the floor. Soon, it became hard to see because tears rolled down his face. He sniffled and wiped his face, only to have more rebel tears crash to the floor. "I'm sorry," He whispered. "I'm really trying to be better at this, but I-"

"Po, it's okay. I'm glad you're honest with me, though." A finger gently guided Po's head up. "You don't have to feel bad."

"But I do! I don't want to hurt you! I'll try harder! I promise."

Tigress frowned, "Po, take it from someone who knows about trying too hard. It doesn't always work." 

Po visibly sighed, "I should be better than this."

"And be what?"

"Huh?"

"If you're trying to be better than this, what are you trying to be?" Tigress repeated. "Do you know the kind of person you want to be?" 

Po blinked for a moment. "N-No." 

The tiger smiled widely, kissing his cheeks free from their tears. "I love you, Po. This is a part of you and a journey that I'm fully aware of. It's okay." She lightly tapped her forehead against his. "I still love you."

"I don't deserve you." 

"Nor I you," She whispered, kissing his nose. "Just promise you'll be honest with me. Please?" The panda sniffled and nodded. "Now that that's settled, I need your help."

"With what?" 

Tigress walked over to her closet and pulled out some dresses. "The formal banquet is coming up, and I need your fashion sense."

Po snorted and covered his mouth. "I have fashion sense?" 

"You do when it comes to writing lemons."

"AHhhhh... that's true," Po smiled, embarrassed. 

Chapter 30

"She's right," said the therapy goose. 

Po sighed and slumped into the couch, "Why do I feel like I'm gonna hear that for a while?" 

Gozin smiled, "She's right that you shouldn't try so hard. Yes, this is something you'll have to overcome, but it's also something that you have to play the long game. Often 'trying harder' isn't the real winner. You have to try smarter."

"And that means?"

"Mindfulness techniques, social support systems, accountability partners. That last one might be hard if you have a problem with being vulnerable. And engaging distractions."

"What's the difference between that and... not engaging distractions?" 

"People tend to run away from something rather than gravitate towards. It's easier to forget about something when you're actually immersed in it."

"So... Tigress was right? Again."

"Heh, seems that way."

Po sighed but smiled. He later explained everything to Tigress but another task came to the surface. Po took a long breath as he walked up another flight of stairs to the unfamiliar part of the Co-Ed dorm. Walking over to a door, he took a breath and gently knocked on it. A familiar marigold monkey opened the door with his eyes still on his phone. "Yeah, what's up? Huh? Po! Hey man what's going on!" 

"Hey, Monkey. I... need to talk with you."

"Yeah, yeah, sure buddy." Monkey let the panda step inside. "Sorry about the clothes on the ground. College life, you know." 

"Heh, yeah." Po took a seat on the small desk that every dorm had and sighed, "Sooo, I've been going through some stuff."

"Sleeplessness?"

"You still remember that?"

"It's hard to forget when you take someone to the hospital at night."

"Sorry."

"Dude, I'd rather you be alive than in major pain," The monkey said with a surprisingly serious glare. "Don't ever apologize for needing help." 

"I'll try," Po smiled briefly, "But uhhh it's not that. It's something I've been dealing with for a long time and... I was wondering if you could be my... accountability partner." Monkey's eyes widened. "You can say no, it's just-"

"Po, are you... doing drugs?"

"No! No! Gods! Why does everyone think that? Do I look like the kind of guy to do drugs?" 

Monkey stayed silent for a moment and then chuckled, "Not hard drugs, but you are the kind of person to get a little loose with a bottle of wine."

"And that's why I don't drink. But no, I'm dealing with something else," Po sighed, bowing his head. He paused for a moment. Was Monkey the right person for this? Sure, he could be a little bit of a jokester, but after that anxiety incident, he knew the simian had his back. 

But trying to get an accountability partner was scary. Would he judge him? What if it didn't work?

"Po?" The monkey's voice brought him back to reality. "What is it?" 

"I... I've been struggling with uh... a porn addiction." 

"Oh."

"Oh?" Po repeated. Then his eyes sharpened with horror. "You knew, didn't you?" 

"Well... yeah?"

"Aww man! I'm so sorry, Monkey I-"

"Po it's okay," Monkey laughed, "I should be the one saying sorry. I guess I should've ask you about it, but... stuff like this is so normal nowadays and I didn't know if it was a problem for you. But... you seemed on edge about it and I didn't know if I should ask. Now I'm realizing I should've." 

"No, no, it's okay," Po sighed, "I could've been more honest. Soooo you'll do it?"

"Of course man!" Monkey hollered, reaching out and clapping his hand. "I'm your buddy, remember? Friends help each other."

"Yeah," Po smiled softly. "I keep forgetting that." 

Having an accountability partner was an adjustment: The scheduled calls, the high degree of honesty, the trigger tracker. But the panda managed. As the midterm drew closer, though, Po began to grind his teeth. Focusing as much as he could on his heavy Literature classes, he began to feel his focus waning with each passing moment. 

And he knew why. "It's divided," He muttered to himself. 

Tigress. Often during his classes, he wondered if there was a way to give her the life she deserved. The life he felt she deserved. But going to the cafe one day, he saw a different issue. 

A loopy eyed tiger lethargically ate her meager meal, prompting Po to get more food for her. "Overworking again?" Po asked. The tiger grumbled under her breath, looking away. The panda smiled, "It's okay, but you've gotta conserve your energy. There are times you have to work hard, but there are times you have to rest hard." 

"Hmm, I'm starting to think you're becoming my therapist." 

"Well I am free," Po smirked. 

Tigress rolled her eyes but smiled, "The roles I signed up for are too much. I had to drop out a few to focus on my grades. All that's left are the Pre PT club and the event committee."

"Why?"

Tigress growled softly, "Because they said I couldn't do both at the same time. I want to prove them wrong."

"Who told you that?" Po asked. 

"The advisors."

"Maybe they're right. I mean you're pretty exhausted and-" The tiger glared hard. "Never mind! Shutting up. Heh, heh." 

She sighed, "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"Why are you doing this out of spite though? Actually, maybe I'm the weird one. Nora told me she started her training because someone told her she looked too weak for a lion. Her workout motivation changed, but it's always made me wonder about doing things out of spite." 

"You don't?"

Po shrugged, "I don't have time to hate people." 

"So is it wrong?" 

"Do you like doing this?"

Tigress sighed, "I feel like I'm in too deep to back out now."

"Then finish what you started, learn from the experience and move on," Po grinned. The tiger returned his smile and kissed him. 

"You're great at making me feel better." 

"I mean there's a physical way of making you feel better, but I'm too big to fit under the table," Po smirked. 

"I'm not."

"Ah Ha! Uhhhh okay, uhhh."

Tigress's lips curled naturally into the naughty simper Po was becoming used to. "What's the matter? You told me Jessica rubs off on you, but it seems you can't back up what you dish out."

"Well... I'm... not really used to people...returning my flirts," Po nervously chuckled. 

Tigress covered a laughing wheeze. "You flirt?" 

"Hey! I got you, didn't I? And that was by accident!" 

"Accident you say?"

"Uh oh," Po gulped as the feline's face grew incredulous. 

"So when you asked for my number-"

"Th-Th-That was just to be sociable! I was... I don't really get out much so-"

"And yet you have all these women."

"Tigress, please," Po groaned, covering his face. The tiger only smiled. 

But over time, Po kept questioning the future. He wanted to be a professor at the university, teaching alongside some of his favorite professors. 

But would it be enough for Tigress? Po grimaced one day at the thought in the cafeteria. "And... I don't know how long I should date Tigress before marrying her. I mean we've already done that couples' counseling with Gozin and we're already planning our future together. Are we going too fast? It feels like it, but I don't mind. I just... what am I supposed to do? Is she gonna hate me if I take too long? What if-"

Smack!

"OWW! Jessica what the heck was that for?" 

"To get you out of your own head," the husky smiled after slapping the back of the panda's head. "You're overthinking it, Po. You can't plan everything in your life to a T. Things are gonna change. You have to take things as they come. And if Tigress is gonna leave you for something as simple as waiting a few years to prepare for the rest of your lives together, then you've gotta question what the hell kinda woman you want? I mean, when do you want to marry her?" 

"Now."

Jessica chuckled at the panda's bluntness. "I mean realistically, eager dick." 

"Honestly? Around graduation. We've had a lot of time together, but I also just want to have something a little more stable before marrying her. That way we're not living with our parents." 

"Fair enough. But you're gonna have to shit up and grab your balls by the hand to move forward. Do it despite your fear." 

Po sighed, "How are you so confident about life?"

Jessica shrugged, "I've been pushed down enough times to know you don't have to have it all figured out. You try, you fuck up, you learn, you try again. That's the key to overcoming life. No one knows how to live life all at once. If you're confused, sit down, get a pen and paper, and start writing. Brainstorm. Then when you're done focus on that for a week or a month on one thing. No matter if you have to juggle a shit ton of stuff at once, focus on one thing at a time. And be sure to include Tigress. I know you want to bring her the moon and stuff, but she's not just a pretty doorknob. She can do other things, you know besides be pretty and ride your dick."

"JESS!" 

"Heh, but she's capable. She'll help you, you know that." 

Po blinked. "You're really good at this."

"I am a business major," Jessica smirked. 

"Ready for your Bi Stripclub?"

"Actually, I changed my mind. I think I want to be a teacher or run a university." 

Po dropped the spoon in his hand and stared so hard at Jessica that he felt his eyebrow twitch from muscle fatigue. "I beg your highest pardon?" 

"Yeah. Something that helps women out, you know? I know social work is an option, but I want something a little more... preventative."

"That's... a major twist. Aww, but I wanted to see what a Bi Stripclub would look like," Po pouted. 

"Maybe some day."

"Is Bai okay with this?"

"Actually, she's the one that help me think about it," Jessica smiled, lost in thought. "I don't know. I guess I'm growing up. UGGGHHHH!"

"It's not pretty, but once you get past the pain, you'll figure out more stuff," Po shrugged. "You've gotta be kind with yourself."

"Do you do that?"

"Nope, but that doesn't mean it's not true," Po smiled. 

The husky smiled back and tightly hugged the panda. "I hope you'll be safe with Tigress. And I hope she'll help you get past your pain." 

"Hehe, thanks Jessica."

"And if you mistreat her, I'm kicking your ass!" 

"WHAT! She's stronger than me AND knows Judo! How could I hurt her?"

"Property damage?"

"I'm clumsy, alright!" Po spluttered. Jessica laughed. "But... I'll remember. Thanks, Jessica."

"Hey," She said as she slapped the panda's back with a grand smile. "That's what friends are for." 

 

Chapter 31

Graduation. 

If it weren't for Tigress keeping Po on track, the panda would probably have walked across the stage with his sweatpants on. Po sighed as he looked in the mirror. His pressed gown of black, purple, and blue shimmered under the bathroom light. His reflection smiled at him. 

He made it. It was all surreal. Like a dream. Four years were up. He could recall the laughter, pain, pleasure, and discipline along the way. Each year briefly ran through his head in highlight reels, like the flickering of an old movie film. A gentle knock on the door called his attention. "Are you finished, Po?" 

"Almost, Mrs. Laohu," Po replied. The ceremony was near the tigers' house, so Tigress decided to have Po dress up there. As the panda stepped out of the bathroom, Mrs. Laohu immediately looked him over and straightened out some of the wrinkles. "Mrs. Laohu, I'm fine."

"I don't want you looking shabby on your graduation," The older tiger fussed. Po sighed with a smile of defeat. As the tiger looked him over one final time, she stepped back, satisfied. "There. I think you're ready." 

"Thanks, Mrs. Laohu. And... thank you for everything you've done for me. Especially with the internships and all." 

"Oh, Po. Anytime."

"No, I mean... since my parents are a little further away, I've been kinda taking care of myself. I... guess you've been like a second mother to me. Please don't tell my mom. She's extremely jealous about stuff like that."

Mrs. Laohu chuckled, "I'm honored to be your second mother. Now... as your second mother, I guess that means I have certain... privileges to you." 

Po's eyes narrowed. That phrasing didn't sound good in his head. It vaguely reminded him of a MILF situation, but that wouldn't happen, right? "What do you mean exactly?" Po asked slowly. 

"It means I can ask you certain questions."

"Like?"

"Have you been having sex with my daughter?"

"AHHH!!! MOM! I mean, Mrs. Laohu!" 

A boisterous laugh came down the stairs. "I guess my wife beat me to the question." 

"Uhhhh no. We haven't. I mean... uhh-"

"I hope you'll take responsibility if anything goes on. I know how young people are these days," Mrs. Laohu said seriously. 

"Really? Because I don't know how young people are these days," Po huffed. "But... seriously, I've been really saving myself for Tigress. I'll try my best to be the one who takes care of her the most. No matter what, I'll be responsible for her. You don't have to worry, Mom. I mean! Mrs. Laohu!"

"Ohh Po," Mrs. Laohu smiled. "You can call me, Mom."

"I... thank you." 

She hugged the panda tightly while the large tiger man patted Po on the back. "We're proud to call you our son." 

Po sniffled and wiped his eyes. "Sorry, there's some... fur in my eye."

The two tigers laughed. 

The day went on, and Po drove down to the ceremony. He stood in the back of a large auditorium, waiting to march in. In a crowd full of different animals, Po felt a little lonely. Sure, he had probably seen some of these people before, but after today, what would it all matter? "PO!" 

The panda turned around to see a familiar husky more dressed than she had ever been in her life. "Jessica!" He wheezed as the canine tightly squeezed him. 

"Are you excited?"

"Excited, nervous."

"Why? All you have to do is walk across the stage," Jessica said. 

"What's freaking me out is afterwards. I mean... real life happens. I know college doesn't really prepare you for real life, but it's more freedom in the long run. Harder without a degree than with one." 

"But that doesn't cure stupidity," Jessica smiled. "But don't worry about it. Just remember, you'll make mistakes. Take one day at a time, and you'll get through. Don't be afraid of bad experiences and don't cling to great ones." 

Po rose his eyebrow and smirked. "I was half expecting you to say, don't be afraid of shitty dates and don't cling onto pristine booties."

"HAHAH! Ohhhoo! The pure closeted pervert is coming out today," Jessica laughed. The two laughed together and slowly settled into smiles. "Hey," She said after a long pause. "Thank you for being there for me. I really mean it. You've been such a help."

"Really? I feel like you helped me more than I did you," Po said. "What did I do?"

"You were just... you."

"I've really got to ask people what that means."

Jessica smiled, "It means that you encouraged me to be myself. My authentic self. And I'd be lying if your struggles didn't help me with my own. You helped me figure out who I was and who I wanted to be with." Then the canine's lips widened. "Speaking of, what about your concubines?"

Po rolled his eyes. "They're not my concubines. And what about them? Megan and her boyfriend are together. Kayla's doing her own thing after graduating early. So are Erma and her old boyfriend."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait. The black cat? You had a crush on her?" Jessica tilted her head. "Why?"

"Why are you surprised?" Po smirked. 

"I just forgot. Why did you have a crush on her again?"

"It was more of... eye candy."

"I mean, she is good-looking looking but I-"

"Big booty."

"OHHHHH! I didn't know you were a butt man," Jessica grinned. "I thought I had you pinned for a boob guy."

"Because of Tigress?" 

"And Kayla, and Megan, and Nora. They all have cleavage." 

"Doesn't mean I don't explore. Besides, Tigress has... WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS WITH YOU!?!" Po groaned, suddenly blushing while the canine laughed. 

"Anyway, what about your friend? The bird and Monkey?"

"Crane? He's dating Viper, finally. Monkey's doing fine with his girlfriend. I know Tai Lung and Song got married after last semester. But yeah," Po gave a long sigh. "Things are going fast."

"Hey, it's just one day." 

"I know, but it's the beginning of several days. And I don't know what kind of hell I'm gonna be going into."

"Hey, if you're going through hell, keep going."

Po rose an eyebrow. "I'm sure that's from someone else."

"It is. But there's no copyright on motivational quotes."

"I think there is."

"Shut up, Po," Jessica said, playfully punching his arm. 

The two heard a sound coming from outside. Pomp and Circumstance began to play. They stood in line as Jessica smirked behind him. "Ready for the rest of your life, Po?" 

"Yeah," Po whispered with a brave smile. He stepped out into the blinding auditorium lights under the eyes of a thousand people. 

The actual ceremony blew through Po like a rushing whirlwind late for its party. Po could feel his jaw hurting from either all the smiling or the teeth grinding. Tigress was always close by after the ceremony. Her parents and Po's finally met each other. The graduating panda now had double embarrassment as both Tigress's mother and his mother chatted. Po still groaned about it later. After all the photos and meeting friends one last time. Tigress and Po finally got to see Nora's boyfriend who almost seemed to idolize the girl he was with. The short hyena man had a smile that was bolted to his face, as were his eyes on Nora. At least the lion couldn't say he wasn't interested in him. He had a slender kind of muscularity. "Ah, small and strong. I see you, Nora," Po teased. 

"Shut up, Po," The lioness grinned. 

But now, it was quiet. Quieter than a few hours ago. Tigress and Po took a walk on the University Promenade one last time, for Po's sake. "Did your mom have to tell my parents about how I met them?" Po groaned. 

"She doesn't mean any harm, Po. You know that," Tigress smiled. The panda simply huffed and continued walking. The sun's heat cooled as it slowly waned. A slight breeze refreshed their spirits. Summer would soon make the spring air warm, and the budding flowers green. Po had taken off his gown and grumbled, trying to shove his hands into his jeans. "You'll have to break into them, Po."

"I know. I just... ugh. I hate jeans. Why would someone wear something so constrictive?"

"Why do you like seeing me in my sports bra?" Tigress smirked. 

"Point taken, but I just... have weird tastes. Sorry."

"I don't mind," Tigress smiled. The small porch outside the campus library came into view. It was closed for the graduation, but the two sat down and relaxed at the metal tables. The tiger sighed, fanning her red t-shirt. "It's finally over."

"Why are you tired?"

"Keeping track of you is hard, you know."

"Heh, sorry. I'll try to be better at keeping my head on," Po sighed. There was a silence that relaxed them. The breeze rustled around them, gently eating away some of Po's tension. 

Some.

The thing in his pocket kept its psychological foot right on his brain. He had talked with his parents and Tigress's parents. Both of them gave him the go-ahead. Even Gozin told him he was ready. The tension in his brain forced his mouth open. "I'm worried about the future." 

"I know," Tigress simply said, holding his hand. "But we'll face it together."

"And I'm... still worried about what my addiction will be like in the future. Everyone has been helping, but... I'm still scared." 

There was another pause. 

"I'm worried about my perfectionism."

"Really?"

"Yes," Tigress sighed, "And I don't want to turn you into someone that you're not just because of my expectations. Maybe I should talk with someone, too." 

"It's worth a try," Po smiled. "But promise me something? Promise me you'll try to be patient with me as I'm trying? I know it's a lot to ask but-"

"I promise."

"Tigress, I don't want you to-"

"I know, but I also know you, Po. At least, I think I should know after two years. I know you try your best to help, not just me, but everyone around you. The people who know you know that more than anyone else," Tigress sighed, "But... please promise me that you'll be patient with me, too. I've gotten used to so many doubts and problems in my head that I-"

"I promise."

"Copycat."

"I'm serious. And... I'm learning not to take myself so seriously," Po smiled. "I love you, Tigress."

"I love you too."

"But... I also wanted to tell you something else. I... I actually managed to get a position here at the college. It's... actually Dr. Shifu's old position."

"That... that's amazing! You won't have to move! Of course... I don't know about when I graduate," Tigress sighed.

"I know, but... I also want you to be taken care of. And I want to be there as much as possible. I want to grow old with you, Tigress."

"Po?"

He reached for the thing that was weighing so much on his mind. He reached into his pocket and slipped out a small ring box, presenting it to the gasping tiger. "So... will you-"

"YES!" Before he could finish the words, she leapt across the table and tackled him into a hug. The poor panda's head was sore, but he couldn't really breathe much from the tiger's peppery kisses.  

Thankfully, they didn't lose the ring. 

The newly engaged couple came back to their eagerly waiting families. When Jessica heard the news, she and Bai begged to be part of the wedding plan. "Absolutely not!" Po exclaimed, "AND NO Bachelor or bachelorette parties with both of you." 

"You're no fun."

"No, I know you too well," Po smirked at the pouting husky. 

So later on, after some preparations and counseling, Po and Tigress got married in a courthouse. Their friends and family celebrated with a small reception that made Jessica smile. "What's got you so happy?" Po asked. 

"I take back what I said," Jessica smiled. "This wedding was nice. It's... peaceful."

"Are you getting sentimental on OOW!" The panda rubbed the shoulder Jessica hit. 

"Shut up, Po," she smiled. 

The two ordered a modest hotel room where Po took a deep breath at the door and hoisted Tigress up in his arms to walk across to their bed. "Wow, huh."

"What?"

"I knew you would be a little heavy because of your muscles, but you're actually easy to carry."

Tigress rose her eyebrow. "I'll pretend you didn't call me heavy."

"Hehe, thanks," Po nervously said as he set her down. "Wow. So much has happened." 

"I know. But I know that we can get through it together. It will be hard. You know that, right?"

"I know," Po smiled, "Don't worry, I threw my expectations about marriage out the door. But I still want to be with you. No matter what."

Tigress smiled and kissed the panda hovering over her on the bed. "I can't wait to make a future with you." 

"Me too. Don't worry, I'll make sure to work as hard as I can to get our goals on board."

The tiger smiled, but a hint of worry crept into her mind.  

 

Chapter 32

It seemed to happen all at once for Po. First, moving into a new apartment. The teaching job afforded him a small one, even though bills were something he had to manage. Then there were student loans, forcing Po to learn all he could about finances in a few short weeks. The amount of calls Jessica got were truly staggering. And worrying. "Po, you have to chill out. It's okay," Jessica said, but the panda was determined.

Tigress's fear was coming true. Even with her studies, she couldn't stop worrying about Po's state. Grumbles, forgetting to eat, collapsing onto his bed only to wake up the next morning just as tired. He liked his job. He liked being an adjunct teacher, but there was an invisible weight on him, and he couldn't seem to figure out how to get it off. Tigress asked her parents. Though he could understand her worry, Mr. Laohu told her not to stop him. "Po has to see for himself how hard he can work. It's better if he realizes this sooner rather than later. Give it a few months, and if he's still burning like this, pull him back."

The logic made sense. If Po just backed away from anything that seemed hard, he would never learn what he could do. But Tigress was still worried.

A year after their wedding passed. He fumbled with his keys and opened the door to see his small apartment. A kitchenette to the left side, a wide open spot in the far corner with a bed and a small TV lying on the floor, and a desk with all his work.

Po sighed. Dr. Shifu told him this was just growing pains. But was he growing or surviving? Could people grow if they're under so much pressure? Though a teacher, the research analyst certification was still on his agenda, which proved more taxing than normal. "UGGGGGHHH! Why is life so hard?"

"I thought that was you." Po's eyes snapped around to the refrigerator off in the corner of the kitchenette and saw a familiar tiger smiling at him. "Long day at work?"

"Long day at life," Po groaned, unbuttoning his top collar. "I don't understand how people do this."

"Do what?"

"Adult life! I have to work twice as hard just to keep afloat, and I feel like everything is just breaking down all the time and everything is on fire and I'm on fire and... I'm sorry, I'm complaining, aren't I?"

"You're venting. Come, have a seat," Tigress gently ushered. They both sat down on Po's large bed. It was the only piece of furniture he had, except for the chair at the desk. Po looked at his meager place and sighed. "Po, I have to ask you something." She said, giving him a plate of food she had prepared for him. "It's been bothering me for a while."

"You...You want to divorce?"

"WHAT?! No! Po!" Tigress's eyes sharpened but immediately softened. "Why... why would that be your first thought?"

Po sighed again, "Sorry. It's just... I'm worried that I'm not doing enough for you. I don't want to slack off so that you have to give up your dreams."

"What about you?"

"I just... if I wasn't doing enough for you, I understand."

Tigress's lips pursed together. She clenched her fists as she stared at the ground. "Tigress? I didn't mean to-"

"I was worried about this."

"About what?"

"You're... you're putting too much pressure on yourself."

"I just want to-"

"And I want to take care of you, too," Tigress interrupted. "Po, you have to focus on the now. Right now. Don't worry about the future so much. Please don't put so much pressure on yourself that you snap. I don't want you to give up your life, your dreams, for me like this."

"What dreams?" Po muttered, hanging his head. He nearly dropped the plate when Tigress suddenly wrapped her arms around his body. A soft smile came to his face, and he gently caressed the tiger's back. "I'm sorry. I'll be alright."

"Just... don't be like me."

"Hey," Po chuckled.

"Why are you so worried about providing for me?"

"I don't know. That's what guys do. You're going to be a PT or the greatest person alive... I just want to measure up to that in some way."

"Po, you're not... jealous of me, are you?"

"No, no, no! I'm not. I don't care if you make more money, I just... don't want the gap to be so big that... you don't need me or... want me," Po sighed, putting the plate of food down. "I need Gozin."

"Po, I don't have to be a PT if it-"

"Absolutely not! I'm not letting you give up your dream for my comfort."

"But what's your dream?"

"I don't know!" Po cried out. "I... I like the teaching job, but the money isn't-"

"What if the money isn't the thing? When was the last time you taught someone and it was fun?"

"When I didn't have expectations riding on my shoulders."

"Whose expectations?" Tigress asked. Po sighed. She hugged him and pulled him back onto the large bed. "Po, you don't have to carry it all at the same time."

"Why does it feel like I do?"

"Who are you trying to impress?"

"You?" The heartbroken tilt of her head made Po sigh, "I don't know what's going on with me. I'm sorry. This isn't why you came over to visit."

"I came to see you. That's all."

Po smiled, gently rubbing her cheek, "Why are you this kind to me?"

Tigress smiled back, "Po, I'm okay with a small life. I don't need luxuries. Small vacations or large ones, we can save up for them. I'm not shallow. I'm not gonna leave you just because you don't make enough money. Money can't buy our relationship, Po. Don't ever forget that. I married you for you, because I knew there's no one like you around."

"So you would still love me if I were a woman?"

"So I would be Bi like Jessica. What's the problem with that?" Tigress smirked.

"Heh."

She lightly pressed her forehead against his. "You don't have to sacrifice so much for me, especially if it makes you miserable."

"I just want to provide for you."

"And I want to support you, too. But I don't want you to hate the job that you love." She gently kissed him. "You need to rest and tomorrow, you're talking with Shifu about this, promise?"

"I... yes," Po grumbled. Sometimes, he hated how Tigress knew exactly what he needed to do before he knew.

"I have an idea," Tigress smiled, "Why don't we have a movie night? I heard this movie called Up is supposed to be great."

"Hehe, sure."

While Po changed into his normal clothes, Tigress put on the movie. "I really should do those papers and-"

"You have graders, Po. Use them. You've got to stop taking on three people's workload."

"I guess you're right." Sighing, he plopped down next to her in just his sweatpants. Tigress relaxed onto his exposed chest while the movie played.

The movie's story was interesting: An old mongoose living his amazing life with his wife, who falls ill and dies in her old age. Now the man spends the rest of his journey trying to fulfill his wife's wish of living in an exotic place, only to realize her wish was to live his life with joy, love, peace, and happiness. To make his own adventure with the people he loves.

Near the end, Tigress felt the panda shivering. Then, sobbing. "Po?" The panda cried louder, holding his hands over his eyes as Tigress hugged him. "Po, it's okay. It's just a movie. You'll get through it."

"It's not the movie," Po said through a muddled voice. "I.. I... I'm trying to give you everything that you deserve. But... I can't. I can't give you the perfect house, or car, or children, or job, because there is no such thing. I've been so strict on myself to prove to everyone that I'm not a slacker and that I can pull my own weight and that I'm not a waste of space and-"

"Is this because of my parents?" The panda stopped and turned his head away. "Po, you know they don't think of you like that."

"But I don't want them to-"

"Po," Tigress moved and straddled the panda's waist. "I love you. Not for money, children, houses, cars, or anything. Those things don't prove that you love me. Your kindness, selflessness, generosity, and care do. It's not the money you give that shows me you love me. It's the little texts you send me that say little poems in them." She kissed him on the cheek, kissing away his tears.

She missed, though.

"Ahh! My eye."

"Heh, sorry." The two chuckled a bit. "Po, I'm just as incapable. I can't be the perfect wife, or lover, or... even mother."

"Tigress," Po softly caressed her cheek, "I'm taking myself too seriously."

"You are. You're becoming like me. Too many expectations... I don't want you to go through that pain." Tigress looked deep into Po's jade eyes. "I chose you. And I continue to choose you."

"I choose you, too, Ti." They kissed and hugged each other.

"You deserve a break," Tigress said, growing a smirk on her lips.

"I... thought that's what we were doing."

"No, I mean a different break."

"Oh. Oh! Uhhh heh," Po nervously chuckled at her sensual leer. "Sorry about the nerves. It's just been a while. Wow. Actually, we haven't done this since-"

"Our wedding?" Tigress finished.

Po bowed his head. "I'm sorry."

"We were both busy," Tigress replied, kissing his cheek. "It's okay." She moved her hips a bit, making Po remember she was in her gym shorts.

"You didn't come from the gym, right?"

"Nope."

"You were planning this?"

"Mmmmmaybe?"

"Heh, I really don't deserve you. You're too good to me," Po breathed with a smile. Tigress kissed him, placing pecks down his cheek. And down his neck. "Ah, Tigress."

"Just breathe deeply and relax," she soothed. "Just focus on what you're feeling."

"I'm... feeling good OOhh!" Po jumped at the tiger's hand on his growing crotch. "Ahh. Wow."

"Mmm, seems you like me taking charge."

"I-I-I-I mean Y-y-yes," he bumbled. Her juicy lips pressed against his, chuckling.

"You're so cute when you stutter like that."

"Heh, you love it when I'm a mess," Po smirked.

"I do." She slid her hand into his pants and gripped his growing pride, eliciting a growl from the panda. "I also love it when you do that."

"You love the shy nerd and the grinning sex deviant?" Po teased.

"Mmm, of course."

"Heh, Uhhh. Could I try something different?" Po shyly asked. The tiger rose her eyebrow. He tried whispering it to her.

"There's no one around, Po. Why would you whisper?"

"Uhhh you just want to hear me say it, don't you?" Po grumbled. The smirk on the tiger only confirmed his suspicions. "I... want you to... sit on me so I can eat... you... out."

"There. Was that so hard?" Tigress grinned. She stood up, turned around, and slowly pulled her shorts down, letting Po stare to his heart's content.

Tigress's ass seemed to flower out in hypnotic stripes, with that seductive jiggle the panda couldn't get enough of. She still went to the gym, keeping her figure. As she pulled her pants down, she gently walked over to Po, placing her hand on her hip, watching the panda's grin. "Like what you see?"

"Yes."

"Perv."

"Says the one that likes me being in charge AND being in charge AND smelling me after I come from the gym."

"That's besides the point," Tigress brushed the statement away. Spinning around, she gently laid her wide hips over the panda's face, careful not to block his airways. "Now, since we're new at this, just tell me if I'm on you too mUUCCHHH!" She yelped as the panda's tongue went straight for the kill. Tigress rolled her hips and shut her eyes as her hand covered her moans. She was almost sure the walls were thick enough, but she didn't want to chance it. Her thick hips moved around, but the panda's tongue skillfully teased her almost to the spot. She wasn't expecting to get so turned on so quickly. "Mmmm, Po."

She felt the panda's hot breath warm her while that vicious tongue made her inner muscles clench. Tigress bit her bottom lip, struggling to pull her top off. "Ahhh, wow. I know you're stressed but ooooh! You're still horny oooohhh Po!" Tigress's hands gripped the bed, preventing her fall. The panda's paws dug into her firm rear, massaging the striped flesh while he ate her sweets. Her eyes started to cross a bit. The pleasure built up like a boiler in, making her clamp her core.

She held herself up by her forearms, moaning and whimpering. Her hips moved around his muzzle like a turntable, trying to give his tongue ample surface area. "Oihhhh, you're still as hungry as ever. Oooohh," Tigress growled. She bit her lips to keep her moans down, but Po's tongue made it hard to breathe. Her claws were in danger of tearing the sheets. Her brain spun a bit, and the ecstasy bounced around in her bones. The panda had gotten good at eating. Tigress rubbed her rear into the panda's muzzle. He responded with a tight grope. "Mmmmm, you're so good," She moaned.

She saw Po's pants tenting harder with each heartbeat. A long grin spread across her face, and she slowly pulled the panda's member out for release. Po gently lifted his wife's hips to speak. "Ahh! Tigress?"

"Uh uh, you go back to what you're doing," She said, pushing her hips back down. "I'll make sure that you're taken care of." The tiger chuffed beautifully as the panda's member slowly stretched and rose to its full height. She gently caressed the pole with her whole hand, stroking it to edge moans out of the panda's lips. Tigress gasped. The panda was still focused on her, and she felt it. His tongue targeted her clit relentlessly, making her bow her back out.

But she growled, "Oh, you want to play, huh? Fine."

"Oh no," Po groaned. The tiger lay down around the panda's member, squeezing it between her two fuzzy, warm mounds. Stroking him with her breasts, she lightly licked the tip of his cock. He twitched violently. Bucking his hips, Po groaned into Tigress's pussy, striving to keep his end at bay. "Gahh, damn it, Tigress," Po growled, licking her more.

The tiger smirked and gasped. Her tongue swirled around the tip. It jerked with impatient need, causing her to grin. "What's the matter Ahhh, Po? You wanted to mmmm play."

"Mmmm," Po hummed. The vibrations made Tigress's eyes roll up. Her lips split into a wide grin.

"Mmm, this feels too good," She moaned. Suddenly, the pressure grew. Her eyes widened. She panted quickly again and again. Each sharp inhale made her pussy quiver, careening towards the end. The boiling pressure grew. He gripped her tightly, securing her for the upcoming tremors. "Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Po!" Tigress gasped. Her mouth fell on his member, gulping his tip as fast as he could. Po bucked his hips with no control. He knew why she was doing this, to try and keep herself quiet.

But the panda's hazy look only showed he was nearing his end. "Mmmm!" Po groaned, muffled. Her breasts softly nuzzled and stroked him like a warm pillow. His thrusts grew desperate. He wanted to care for Tigress's comfort, but her mouth kissing, licking, and sucking his sensitive tip made it... it. "Mmmmmm," Po growled. A full year of focusing on work only revealed how much he was pent up. He could feel his balls squeezing everything out of him. "Mmmmm!"

"Mmmmm!"

Both bodies stiffened. Tigress shook atop Po as her orgasm rattled her brain. Po's hips thrust up through her big, soft breasts, spilling into her mouth. A flood of chemicals warped his brain, making him see stars and stripes around Tigress's ass. The taste of her juices on his lips, her thick hot body on his, the warmth of her breasts, and the teasing suckling of her lips. And the gentle wipes of her...

Wipes?

Po's bliss-addled mind popped like a bubble and woke up. He gently pushed Tigress's hips up, seeing her wipe the rest of his sperm up with a washcloth. Po was sure it wasn't there before. The feline looked down at him. "What?"

"Heh, nothing. Sorry about the spill. I couldn't control myself. Your mouth felt really hot and awesome and great and-and- Yeah."

"And yet, I don't swallow," Tigress smirked.

"Hehe, sorry. I really didn't-"

"It's okay, Po." Tigress smiled, lightly kissing his tip after cleaning it. The panda let his head hit the pillow with a wide grin. "How do you feel?"

"Awesome. You're getting better with your mouth. Wow!"

"I'm glad I can satisfy," Tigress grinned, resting her head atop his chest. An arm wrapped around her back, and she chuffed happily.

Suddenly, she felt the panda moving. Wide amber eyes silently watched the smirking panda withdraw and guide her onto her hands and knees. "Po? What are you doing?"

"Getting my second wind?" The panda said from behind her.

"OOH!" Tigress gasped. Po's flexible tongue found its home on her pussy lips. The wet appendage darted around again and again, teasing the sensitive little nub that caused moans to tumble out of Tigress's mouth. "Ooooh, Po. Ahh. I didn't think you were Ahh! Oooh wow. Mmm right there. Right there," The tiger trembled until she felt his tongue withdraw. She lifted her head over her shoulder and saw the panda's erection throb. The top of his cock broke over the horizon of her sculpted back. Po gently caressed her asscheeks, hearing the tiger emit a deep hungry growl. He took a deep breath and bravely pushed against her labia. The feline bit her lips and stifled a moan.

"Wow, you're so good, Tigress. So tight and hot. I haven't even gotten in yet."

"Mmm, flirt."

"With you? Always," Po smiled. He pushed further, finally slipping through. A shaky breath from his lungs made him bend over in pleasure. His eyes shut, and his mouth made a deep growl foreign to him.

"Ahhh!" His tiger's cry called him back to reality. He looked down and saw Tigress gripping the sheet tightly. "Poo!"

"Are you alright? Am I-"

"Don't stop."

"What?"

The tiger whipped her head over her shoulder with a growling, grinning glare that made Po shiver. "Don't stop!"

"Ah! Oh, okay." The panda grabbed her hips firmly, eliciting a chuff of approval. He drove his member deep into her, struggling against the pleasing tingling of ecstasy racking his body. His hold trembled. The control over his lower body slowly eroded as Tigress began moaning.

"OOoohhh Po, keep doing that." She threw her wide hips back, making a beautifully soft plop with her ass. She gasped at a sharp sting to her backside. "Ahh! Po?!"

"Sorry," He grunted in a deeper voice. "Your ass just looks so good." He spanked it again, making another groan fall out of Tigress's lips. He hilted to her rear, flushed with her orange and black stripes. The bear reeled his head back, gasping and panting at the weight of pleasure coursing through him. He made small thrusts, making the tiger give little cute gasps. He was loving this. "Just like that?" He panted.

"Just like that," She hissed with a grin. Her body rocked back in time with him, squeezing him tightly to hold him. The tug on Po's member drove him insane. His eyelids drooped, and his mouth dropped. The striped beauty in front of him, back and forth on his dick, entranced him. He was losing control and gripped her ass harder for dominion. But the growl and chuff and shapely body and pull and tightness and-

"Fuck!" Po growled. Before Tigress could ask what happened, she felt a large weight press onto her back, slamming two big black arms on either side of her. Po thrust his hips forward, making her scream in delight.

"OOOOHHH FUCK! Ahhh! OOOHHH PO!" Her eyes slightly rolled up, half lidded as they were. Her mouth dropped, and she felt the panda's hips pull back further just to thrust harder and deeper. "Come on, Po. Fuck me. Do it. Ahhhhhhaaah, let all that tension OUUUUTT!" She screamed as a hand grabbed one of her tits. The tiger trembled in Po's grip as the panda's cock massaged her insides like a wonderful masseuse. She craned her head up, groaning, "OOohhh Pooo. It feels soo good. Don't stop. Keep going! Don't stop! OOOHHH!"

The panda didn't. Struggling as he could, he finally couldn't bear the weight of his own body. Grunting, he delicately pushed Tigress flat onto the bed. Before he could ask if she was okay, she leered back at him with a lewd grin. She was completely flat on her torso with her pristine, perky ass on display. Po's dick was still buried in it, but the tiger, with her arms crossed as a pillow, looked over her shoulder with a sexy leer.

Po growled unconsciously. He moved and hovered over her, planting his hands on either side of her back. He pumped his member in and out, rubbing against her soft, plump rear. "Ooooohh wow," Po sighed shakily.

"Mmmm, you like that?"

"I love you," Po sighed, dropping his weight harder.

"Mmmm, I love you too. Ooh! Just like that. Oooooohh."

"You like your husband fucking you?" Po grinned. He grabbed her chin and gently lifted her head towards his eyes. "You like it when I give you everything."

"I love it. It's so soft yet so overwhelming. Ooh! Ooooh gods! Mmm!" Tigress gasped after a harder thrust. Her lips were claimed by Po. The panda's supporting arm strained to keep him up as long as he could while he kissed and fucked his wife from this position. He suddenly let her chin go and punched his hand to the ground for support, picking up the pace with his hips. "Oooohh Po!"

"Ahh, Tigress." He redoubled his efforts. His body felt so good, his mind started to shut off. Tigress's pussy hugged him warmly and tightly, refusing to let him go until he was done. "Fuck." He pushed deep in and then pulled out with a growl.

"Huh? What are-YIPE!" Tigress's eyes shot open when Po lifted her hips up in the air. Resting on her knees now, Po reinserted himself, roughly groped her ass, and slid back in before resuming his pace. "OOHHHHH FUCCKKK! Ahh RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE! FUCK ME!" Tigress's eyes rolled back to her head as the knot in her core tightened. "Oh gods! Oh gods! I'm I'm so close!"

"Go ahead, Tigress. Touch yourself," Po grunted.

She reached back and frantically rubbed her nub, sending her over the edge. Sparks and lights flashed before her eyes as the electric feel of pleasure buzzed passed her brain and somewhere into her very mind. Her body's warm flush consumed her, sapping her strength away.

"AHHHHH!!!" Tigress screamed into the pillow as much as she could. She trembled and slapped the pillow beside her with each new shock of pleasure to her system as they kept going over and over.

Because Po wouldn't slow down. "AHhhhhPOOOOOO! OOOHH!"

The panda's vision was hazy. He kept a rigid form, grunting with each thrust. He wouldn't stop until he was finished. Until he filled her.

He gritted his teeth, feeling a new sensation. A fuzzy tail wrapped around him even though its owner was crying for mercy. "AHHHH! PO It's too much! Ahh Oooooohhhh fucccckkk! It's so much!" Tigress's eyes rolled back and widened at the bear hovering over her. Po was lost in his own lust, feeling each and every frustration and energy being pumped through and out of him. Tigress bit her lip, groaning with a struggling hand that reached up to Po's face. The panda's hand suddenly moved. He grabbed the top of Tigress's head and lifted it up a bit, pumping harder into her pussy. "OOOHHHH FUCCCKKKKK!!" Her tongue lolled out as her eyes drooped. A large grin lathered itself onto her face. "Fuck you're so good, Po! So strong! Yes. Yes! Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck all your worries and cares into me! Let me have it!"

"T-Tigress!" Po's pace sped up. He couldn't keep himself from reaching his end. He gritted his teeth and gripped Tigress's ass harder, only making the tiger scream louder.

"YES FILL ME! CUM! CUM PO! PLEASE CUM!" The tiger's pussy tightened again, squeezing him like a hard handshake. Her next orgasm shot through her like an electric gun. She spasmed with each hard thrust Po gave, looking back at her brain as a barely conscious pleasure sponge.

Her last bit of consciousness heard the feral growl of the panda pounding her pussy. His size increased inside of her, and twitches ran up and down her core. Po rammed into the striped feline, growling deeper than he thought was possible. His body flexed and pulled him closer to Tigress without his say-so. But he didn't object. Each pump of his creamy white liquids flooded into her like a warm wave of soup. Po collapsed onto Tigress, not caring for a moment that he might be squishing her. In the barest moment of his composure, he tried to move to give her space, but the tiger's chuffing and whimpering told him she was fine. If that happy smile was anything to go off of.

The two basked in their glow, peacefully mixing with each other's sweat and scent. The room was warm, so the additional heat only made their bone-melting pleasure sit for longer. Po forgot about a lot of things. His troubles, his worth, himself, his insecurities. All that he could think about was this one truth that he found to be valid.

True lovemaking was nothing compared to his expectations. For good or bad. It was just different.

As the rational parts of his brain started to come back online, he couldn't stop smiling to himself.

He was glad he started the journey to getting away from porn. He'd still mess up, but at the very least, he was able to enjoy this better.

The feeling of a snoring tiger beneath him called his attention. His member was still hugged by the wet warm core inside of her, giving gentle teasing squeezes. Her legs, having given out, allowed him to rest his hips against her wide, perky, soft ass. As he rolled, she rolled, letting the panda's hands rest and lightly grip her big breasts, making the tiger moan in her semi-sleep. Her scent, sweaty yet powerful, lingered and teased Po's nose, calming him and threatening to stimulate him again. He could feel more blood travel southward, forcing him to push in deeper and steal another moan from her.

THIS was better.

THIS was so much better than any story he could write. And the best part?

They could only get better.

"Heh, you did a good job not going too rough this time," Tigress giggled.

"Hey, what happened on the honeymoon stays there, alright?"

"Mmm alright. But your strength always surprises me." She gave a hissing moan from Po's lips on her neck. "Learning my weak points again, hm? AH!" Tigress gasped at the panda's fingers on her nub. "Nooo noo, Po. I'm sooo tired."

"I know."

"I'm sensitive."

"I know," Po growled.

"You're insatiable."

"And you're intoxicating," Po groaned. "Mmm. You didn't bite me this time."

"Po," Tigress said flatly. "I said sorry."

"Hey, I'm just saying," Po chuckled. "We've gotten a lot better."

"And we'll only get better with time," Tigress smiled, pushing back into him. Po growled deeply, trying to control himself. "Can't you not get horny? AHH!"

"Can you?" Po smirked, rubbing her nub. "But I guess you're right. It's late, I should-"

"No no! I... oooh," Tigress huffed as the desire for more burned in her. She was sore and tender. Any other time, with stress and work, they'd probably be too tired to even kiss.

But this time was different. Po wasn't normally this ready, this strong, this... virile. And it didn't help that he was only getting better and more adventurous with their sex life.

Must be writer's curiosity. "Ugh, fine! Ahhh Ooohh," Tigress moaned as the panda's dick returned to her pussy. On their side, slow, methodical pumps made the tiger sigh with pleasure as Po held her as close as possible. The sensation of her soft, pliable ass against his hips and the hard muscularity of her back kept his hips moving as they leisured on their sides. His right hand gently teased and rubbed her clit. "Mmmm, you know I never would've thought a panda like you to be like this. Even with the porn."

"Hmmm? How so?" Po asked, lightly nibbling her ear.

"Well AHh! You're more mature. You don't expect me to be mmmm like any other woman. And you explain what you want AND how I can do better in a realistic way. Ooooh right there," Tigress moaned. "You're patient with me Mmmmm... and realistic with me. About oooohh me. You're not just thinking about what I can do for you."

"You're the same," Po huskily said, driving his hips deeper. A shaky breath left Tigress's throat as she felt the cloud-like kisses on her neck. "You're amazing and wonderfully understanding. You gently push me to become the best that I can be without even trying OR asking."

"I don't ooohhh right there. Mmm." She bit her lip. "I don't want to push you to a breaking point."

"You didn't. And I won't. Not anymore," Po grunted. His grip tightened around her core, and his hips pumped faster. Her eyes fluttered shut. Shallow breaths screamed for air as the panda's love pole pressed as far as it could go, as close as it could go. "Tigress, Ah!"

"Yes, yes, right there!" Tigress whimpered, looking down at his hand rubbing her clit. Her paw joined his, pressing harder. Her teeth clenched; her eyes grew hazy. The black arms around her gave a loving squeeze that made the knot inside her tighten. She warmly hugged him from inside, wanting his all. "Please, give me more. Please, please more. I don't want to be greedy but-"

"Don't worry," Po growled, licking her neck to make her tremble. "I'll feed my greedy little kitten."

"OOOhhhh fuccckk," Tigress's head rolled back as the last thrusts drove her over the edge. Po's lips clamped around the back of her neck and growled. She held his arms as they silently orgasmed for the night. Po quickly pushed further in, making the tiger gasp. "Ahh! Po!"

"Sorry, got to make sure nothing comes out," Po chuckled, grunting at his orgasm.

"OOHHHHhhhhhhhhh fucckkk Hahahaha, you're such a goofy panda," Tigress laughed and purred at the panda's gentle head nuzzles.

"Your goofy panda."

"Of course. Oooooohhhh fuck that was good. And my goofy panda should know that I love him. No matter how much he makes. No matter his potential. I love you, Po. Not a part of you." Her hand gently rested on the panda's. "You."

Po smiled, inhaling her scent. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

The End

A/ So some of this is true events, others aren't. I'll leave you to figure out which is which, but I hope that you enjoyed this venture into something personal. Sorry if it wasn't your cup of tea and people, don't be afraid to suggest how it could be improved. Thank you for reading.