Work Text:
It all started with a faint sneeze.
Well, actually, it all started with the Kwamis being let out of the Miracle Box for once.
See, for the past few decades, none of the kwamis were allowed to go outside without a holder of their own. This was a matter of their own personal safety so none of them would end up like Nooroo and Duusu, both of whom were currently being used by the bad guy (AKA the big meanie) Hawk Moth.
The remaining kwamis of the Miracle Box (sans Tikki, Plagg, Nooroo, and Duusu) could not be more happy with their freedom! They intended to make the most of it before inevitably being forced to go back inside.
There was a catch, of course—with so many kwamis outside all at once, one of them had to take charge of all the Kwamis and ensure there didn't cause too much chaos and were held responsible for their actions.
Naturally, the unanimous vote was that Sass, already the de facto leader inside the box, would also be in charge outside of the box.
Unfortunately, there was one thing none of the other Kwamis had taken into account:
Sass had gotten sick.
Which they all found out the hard way when Sass sneezed on Longg. (Something he was not happy about and would hold against Sass for a very long time. Pun intended.)
"My apologiesss, Longg," said Sass, "I must be coming down with sssomething." Sass blew his reptilian nose with a tissue.
"No worries, old friend," Longg lied through gritted teeth. "The Guardian will fix your cold before it gets worse."
The Guardian could not fix the cold.
"I'm sorry, Sass," Marinette apologized, "but according to Grimoire on Master Fu's tablet, kwamis have to drink as special tea to get better and unfortunately, I'm missing the key ingredient to making this tea!"
That was unfortunate.
"Luckily, there's an Asian herbal store very close by that happens to have this ingredient in stock. And while I'm at it, I can stock up on everything else since I'm actually low on some other material."
"That's great to hear, Marinette!" exclaimed Wayzz. "You best get the ingredients right away!" He frowned as a thought occurred to him. "How long will that take?"
"It will probably take a few minutes," Marinette assured him, "so I won't be gone for too long but...are you all going to be okay being by yourself?" Marinette directed the question towards Sass.
Sass (who was struggling not to nod off) smiled.
"Do not worry, Marinette. As the kwami in charge of the Miracle Box, I can assure you that everything will be under control while you are gone. You just focus on getting those ingredients."
There was a very long pause.
And then—
"OH NO! Sass must really be sick. He's not hissing out his "S's" like he usually does!" Pollen cried out in dismay.
There was a large gasp from all the other kwamis (and Marinette) as they realized just how dire the situation had become.
"Guardian, please hurry!" Ziggy pleaded, "or it will be the end of the world!"
(Granted, Ziggy said that a lot, but there might be a grain of truth this time around.)
"Okay, I'll come back as soon as I can. Sass, you're in charge!" Marinette threw open her trapdoor and raced out the door, Tikki following behind before swooping inside Marinette's purse.
And so, with their Guardian out of the picture for the moment, the kwamis were left to themselves.
"What should we do while we wait for Marinette to come back, Sass?" Barkk asked, "Should we put on a movie?"
The snake kwami did not answer.
"Sass?" Barkk turned around and gasped. "SASS!"
Why was Barkk shouting Sass's name all of the sudden? Well, what would your first reaction be to seeing your fellow kwami sleeping upside down?
That shouldn't even be possible to begin with; no kwami would dream of putting themselves in such an uncomfortable position. Not to mention the effect of gravity on their large heads compared to their tiny torsos.
Also, Sass was currently drooling large quantities of mucus onto the floor and that was just plain gross. (At least it wasn't on one of the other kwamis.)
"Sass!" Roar tried to shake Sass awake. "It's no use, he won't wake up!"
"Sass!" Orikko joined in on the efforts to wake their fellow kwami up. "GUMMY WORMS!"
That did zilch. Sass did briefly open his (glazed over) eyes but he quickly fell back asleep with a small mumble of "gami war."
"Well, that didn't work. Should we try getting some eggs?" Longg pondered.
Trixx shook his head. "Naw, forget it. Might as well let him get some sleep. Besides, I'm sure Marinette will be back soon and Sass will be back to normal before we know it. How long could it take her to go shopping?"
Marinette could not believe how lucky she was. She managed to get everything she needed, including that key ingredient to curing Sass, and the best part was that she got everything on sale in addition to the 10% discount as the 100th customer of the day!
Now she just had to get home and make that special tea for Sass to drink and everything will be back to normal.
"Hurry Marinette, Sass needs our help!" Tikki urged her owner.
"Don 't worry Tikki! I just need to take this turn and we'll be home in no—"
BUMP!
"Ouch!" Marinette fell on her bottom while rubbing her now-sore nose. Luckily, her shopping bags (filled with the precious ingredients needed to cure Sass) was unharmed.
But what the heck just happened? Marinette looked up and spotted the most horrifying sight she had ever seen in her life. Right in front of her eyes, standing against the glaring sunlight of Paris, was no other than—
"A-Aunt Shu Yin?!"
"Well, if it isn't my wayward niece," Shu Yin dryly remarked. She looked Marinette up and down, "still as skinny as a weed. What does that father of yours feed you, nothing but his dry cakes?"
Marinette really hated her Aunt Shu Yin sometimes. That wasn't really surprising.
What was surprising was that fact that Shu Yin was in Paris in the first place.
"Auntie, what are you doing in Paris? I thought you never left London."
"I don't," said Shu Yin, "I like London and I would be happy to never leave." She huffed pointedly, "But with everyone making a fuss about Ladybird and Black Cat, I finally decided to cash in on that promise I made your mother: to visit Paris for once."
Oh no.
"Well, okay, then, enjoy Paris and have a great time!" Marinette got back to her feet and not-so-subtly attempted to leave.
Key word: attempted.
Because the moment she tried to turn around, Shu Yin's claw-like hand shot out and tightly grabbed Marinette's arm.
"Be a good niece and act as my guide, will you?" She proceeded to drag Marinette away.
"Wait, I can't! I'm in a hurry! Aunt Shu Yin!"
Meanwhile, back with the kwamis...
"It's been over an hour! What could be taking the Guardian so long?" Daizzi complained.
"You don't think an akuma showed up, do you?" Stomp worried aloud.
"Oh no! And right when Sass is sick!" gasped Pollen.
Trixx rolled his eyes at his fellow kwamis' melodramatics. "Calm down, if there was an akuma about, we'd hear from the cellphone, remember?" He gestured at said cellphone, which was currently in Kaalki's possession. "I'm sure that if Marinette calls us, Kaalki will let us know, right?"
Kaalki, hearing her name, briefly looks up and nods in agreement before going back to perusing stock photos of thoroughbred horses on race tracks.
Longg sighed, "But what will we do in the meantime while we wait? Sass cannot lead us while he is sick and the Guardian is away." Longg glanced over at Sass.
Good news: they managed to take Sass down from his floating upside down position in the air.
Even better news: he was now tucked away in a small crevice of Marinette's desk drawers, sleeping away his cold.
Bad news: Judging by his shivers and the increasing pile of mucus, Sass was getting worse by the minute.
Meaning Sass was going to be out for a very long time, and he was in no condition to lead any of the kwamis at the moment.
Which can only mean one thing.
"Isn't it obvious...?" Trixx was actually the one to speak up. He spun around and jabbed at the air.
"Someone needs to be Leader for (Hopefully) a Day!"
Everyone in the room gasped.
But Trixx was right.
They needed a stand-in leader for their Miracle Box, now that Sass was out of commission.
But who could fill in the shoes of the Kwami of Intuition?
"Maybe...Tikki?" Wayzz hesitatingly suggested.
...
Everyone shook their head, even Wayzz.
NO.
No, that was a bad idea.
And asking Plagg was out of the question too, enough said.
They didn't need another cheese cult, not after 1585. (It took a long time to clean up those cheese volcanoes!)
Besides, unlike the others, Plagg was staying with his owner and had no way of leaving for a long period of time without subtlety.
And Plagg didn't do subtlety. He did poorly made sock puppets.
So both he and Tikki were out of the picture.
"Hey, speaking of Tikki, what's taking her and the Guardian so long?"
Tikki, unfortunately, couldn't answer the question even if she wanted to.
For one thing, she was too far away to hear anyone talk about her.
And for another, she was currently playing "stuffed animal" in Marinette's purse as she (Marinette) was being dragged around Paris by her stubborn aunt.
Seriously, who was the actual tour guide here?
"Okay, okay!" Marinette finally got her aunt Shu Yin to stop. "I'll give you a quick look around Paris, but then I have to get home. It's an emergency—WAHHH!" Marinette tripped over a stray pebble on the floor and just barely missed the passing black cat on her path.
Shu Yiin sniffed. "Still so clumsy and ungraceful. How are you even going to find a husband like that?"
Marinette had to remind herself it was not polite to throw her aunt into the Seine River.
Back with the kwamis...
"Wayzz and I can take over temporarily," Barkk suggested, "we are the kwamis of Protection and Adoration, and what better combination can take care of friends?"
Sadly, that was true. Wayzz, being the kwami of Protection, was valued for his insightful wisdom and loyal demeanor. Meanwhile, as the epitome of Adoration, Barkk was great at finding lost things (going to certain lengths to do so) and never gave up on a mission.
Plus, she was also very cute. But most importantly...
"Barkk, just because dogs are Man's Best Friend doesn't mean you have to keep rubbing it in!" Orikko snapped exasperatedly.
"Someone's still cranky about chickens losing the "World's Most Valued Animal" contest," Roarr observed.
Stompp nudged her pointedly, "Shh!"
But Orikko heard Roarr and he whirled around to defend himself. "Chickens are very loving animals and they deserve to be known for it! And it wasn't even a fair contest! The judges were all puppies!"
"Okay, okay!" Daizzi stopped the impending fight before it actually began. "Who cares who Man's Best Friend is?! We should be focusing on taking care of our friend! It hasn't been a day and already things are falling apart without Sass around!"
"It's the end of the world!" wailed Ziggy for the 5th time that day.
Roarr rolled her eyes. "No, it's not."
"Alrighty then, Longg and Daizzi, you two take care of Sass while Wayzz and I take over watching everyone else!" Barkk commanded. "Everyone else, just—do whatever!" And as everyone scrambled away to either take care of Sass (Longg) or "do whatever" (Xuppu), Barkk turned to Wayzz.
"Okay, Wayzz, let's do this! How hard can looking after 12 kwamis be?"
"HARD. VERY HARD!"
Barkk didn't yell so much as she screamed as she took in all the chaos that was occurring before her very eyes.
Here are some examples of the chaos:
1. Trixx creating illusions of medieval aliens fighting an army of oreo cookie monsters. ("Aliens vs Monsters!")
2. Orikko, Fluff and Ziggy dancing under a disco ball of all things. ("Disco never dies!")
3. A cackling Xuppu standing in front of an exploding (papier-mâché) volcano. ("UPROAR!")
4. A glowstick fight between Stompp and...Longg (who had abandoned his position of taking care of Sass after he sneezed on him again). ("DIEEEEE!")
And MORE!
Poor Wayzz, trying to keep everything contained inside a Shell-ter, looked so exhausted and ready to give out.
Barkk wanted to help Wayzz...and she would have if she hadn't taken over looking after the sick Sass with Daizzi taking a break at the moment.
At this point, both Wayzz and Barkk could only think of one thing:
"PLEASE HURRY, MARINETTE!"
"This is the Louvre—"
"This little thing? Buckingham Palace is much bigger."
"And this is Eiffel Tower—"
"I-fell-Tower? Where's the radio for help?"
"And here is the Jardin des Tuileries—"
"This is what you call a park? You need to come to London more often, you can see what real parks are like there."
Marinette sighed as her Shu Yin brushed off her attempts at sightseeing Paris. "If you hate it so much, why did you come here?" she said (to herself because Shu Yin would never let her live it down if she heard her).
"What is this?"
Marinette had gotten so lost in her thoughts she had not realized they had wondered over to the Place des Vosges.
Specifically, they were now standing in front of a certain attraction that Marinette was particularly fond of.
"This is the statue of Ladybug and Chat Noir after they saved Paris from Hawk Moth's 100th akuma."
Shu Yin stared at the statue. Marinette realized her attention was particularly on Chat Noir's statue counterpart.
"Aunt Shu Yin?" Marinette prodded her aunt after the staring went longer than appropriate. Finally, her aunt broke the silence.
"That is the famous Black Cat? He doesn't look so special to me, so puny and blond."
Marinette really had to remind herself she could not throw her aunt into the Seine River.
"And look at Ladybird! She's just as skinny as you are! She could pack on a few more meals! And look at that posture!"
And especially not with a yo-yo!
"Am I the only one who realizes this has all gone horribly?"
Kaalki's question (clearly meant to be rhetorical) hung in the air as she survey the damage done to Marinette's room.
"I think that was obvious," Roarr dryly remarked, "I mean, look at those two." Roarr gestured toward Wayzz and Barkk, the two having collapsed on the floor from sheer exhaustion.
Kaalki sniffed, "Clearly those two can't stand in as leaders! So let some of us take charge!"
Some of the kwamis begin nodding in agreement at this suggestion. Mullo, however, frowned in disagreement.
"Like you can do any better, Kaalki!"
"Well, maybe I can!" Kaalki asserted, leading to the beginning of a loud argument among the kwamis.
(The noise caused Sass to briefly wake up, but he was still sick so he fell back asleep almost immediately.)
"You know what!" Ziggy had an idea. "We should pick a new way to have a new leader! That way this never happens again."
"Yeah, like a debate!" Pollen suggested.
"No, we need a race!" argued Xuppu.
"A competition of feats!" Kaalki insisted.
And so yet another loud argument emerged among the kwamis. It was a wonder they had not attracted any attention from Hawk Moth.
(Good thing Marinette's parents were out on business.)
Meanwhile, Fluff (who had been pretty quiet up to this point) looked at the clock and murmured, "If it is today, then the next few seconds should have the sound of a loud—"
BANG!
"I'M BACK!"
An exhausted Marinette clambered up the stairs, crawled into her room and closed the floor hatch behind.
"SorryI'mlate!" She managed to gasp out before collapsing. She took a deep breath and spoke more slowly, "ugh, Aunt Shu Yin dragged me all around the city!"
It had taken Marinette accidentally misplacing her aunt at the Mayor's office to finally get rid of her and escape. She knew she was definitely going to get in trouble for her little stunt but she could deal with that later.
"Okay, let's get to work and brew up that tea for Sass! Is everyone rea...dy...?" Marinette finally took in the chaotic scene before her.
"What...what happened here?"
The kwamis (those who were still standing that is) all turned to look at each other.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"NOTHING!" They all insisted.
Marinette blinked. "Uhh..all right then. Let's make Sass better!"
Two hours and two ruined batches of tea later, Marinette, with the help of the kwamis, finally got the tea correct. Now she just had to get Sass to drink it.
"Okay, does anyone know how to wake Sass up He needs to drink every drop of the tea."
Wayzz and Barkk (now recovered from their exhaustion) shook their heads.
Xuppu shrugged.
Kaalki and Ziggy looked at each other.
And Longg?
Longg darted over to Sass and with a sudden "WATER DRAGON!", proceeded to splash water onto Sass's face, shocking him into awareness.
"...yeah, that'll work. Great job, Longg!" praised Marinette.
Longg nodded like he had come up with a genius idea to help wake up his friend (and not a sudden urge to carry out revenge on his (formerly) unconscious friend.)
And so Marinette managed to cure Sass, who apologized to everyone (especially Longg, Wayzz and Barkk) for all the trouble he had caused and promised not to get sick for another 1000 years.
And all the kwamis promised not to cause so much chaos the next time the Guardian was out. (Especially after the tongue lashing Tikki gave amid Plagg's whines about missing out on all the fun.
But most importantly, Marinette promised her mom she wouldn't ditch her aunt in jail the next time she visited Paris.
But that is a story for another time.
The End.