Chapter Text
Kakashi wasn’t sure when the world started feeling so quiet.
Maybe it had always been this way and he only just started noticing.
The air was heavy, thick with the weight of an oncoming storm. He could smell the rain on the wind, the fresh scent pushing through his mask. Distant thunder rumbled against the dark horizon but it felt far away.
Like his apartment.
Like his mind.
Like everything.
The street lights flickered weakly. Their flow barely reached the crack pavement beneath his bloody sandals.
Huh. He should have dumped water on them back at the locker rooms. He was probably leaving a blood trail behind.
Oh well.
His body ached, fresh wounds humming beneath his torn uniform. But they were quiet wounds. Nothing worth bothering the medics over. There was no sharp stab of pain, no lingering sting, just a dull throb. Just enough to remind him that he was alive.
Kakashi liked the quiet.
Or maybe he hated it.
It was hard to tell the difference anymore.
A cold wind slashed across the streets, cutting into Kakashi’s bare arms. Maybe Genma was right and he should have grabbed a coat. The cold was sharp and angry and loud .
So, maybe Kakashi liked the cold.
Even when it dropped on his head. A few spatterings at first that nicked his hair and bare skin like kunai from genins. It drip, drip, dripped against the rooftops and the empty streets for a few seconds - minutes? - before the skies opened up and wept like Obito used to when he got frustrated.
Kakashi stuck his hands in his pockets and continued to drag his feet along the slick cobblestone. His wet clothing stuck to him, heavy and water logged. At least his sandals would be cleaned by the time he got home. Pakkun always panicked when he smelled blood in the apartment. Kakashi figured he’d be used to it by now.
Five years of ANBU.
Five years of blood.
Four years of empty.
Empty.
Empty.
“You useless little monster !”
A woman’s angry shout broke through the quiet like a shot. Kakashi paused, his brain spinning as it sputtered at the sudden noise. No longer empty.
Damn.
Kakashi liked being empty.
Or maybe he hated it.
It was hard to tell the difference anymore.
“Lemme go!” a kid cried back. “It wasn’t me!”
Kakashi glanced in the direction of the noise. It was hard to make anything out under the harsh downpour. He should keep walking. Home wasn’t that far. And the logical part of his brain kept telling him he needed to get out of the rain.
Kakashi wished the logical part of his brain would shut up. It was always doing things like that.
Eat. You have to eat or you’ll die.
Stitch that up. You have to stitch that up or you’ll die.
Walk away from the edge. You have to walk away from the edge or you’ll die.
He desperately wished he could turn off the logical part of his brain.
If you turn me off, you’ll die.
Okay, Kakashi didn’t say.
Then, just to piss off the logical side of his brain, he pushed up his hitai-ate. He really shouldn’t have. The Sharingan cut through the darkness and the rain with ease and Kakashi could see the orphanage caretaker shaking a young blond boy by his arm.
Minato’s blond hair.
“It wasn’t me, ya know!”
“You should listen to me, Kashi. Ya know!”
Kakashi’s feet moved before his brain. The woman’s arm was surprisingly fragile in his hand. It was easy to tighten his grip, easy to scare her into releasing the boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - and she backed up with a gasp, eyes wide with fear. Kakashi stared back.
He must be a sight, soaked to the bone, glaring at a civilian woman with a blood red Sharingan and dressed in an ANBU uniform - sans the mask.
The woman slammed the door in his face and Kakashi bit back a sigh, turning to look down at the boy - Nartuo. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son. The boy flinched back, looking anywhere but at Kakashi.
“Wasn’t me, ya know,” he said weakly, like he doesn’t expect Kakashi to believe him.
The boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - was shivering already. Maybe the rain was colder than Kakashi realized. The boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - was quite the sight, drowning in too big clothing with his blond hair - Minato’s blond hair - sticking to his forehead.
He looked cold.
Was it cold?
Kakashi couldn’t tell anymore.
“Come on.” Kakashi’s voice was rough from disuse. He’d been on a solo mission. When was the last time he’d actually talk to someone?
The boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - blinks up at him questioningly. Kakashi didn’t wait to see if the boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - followed him. After a moment, the soft patter of wet little footsteps broke the quiet behind him.
“Take your shoes off,” Kakashi told the boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - as they stepped into his apartment. “I’ll get you something dry.”
His response is a dutiful nod. When Kakashi comes back with one of his spare shirts - it’ll have to do. He doesn’t have any children’s clothes laying around - and a towel the boy is waiting quietly by the door.
Kakashi drops the towel on his head and sets the shirt on the table beside the door. Then he goes into the kitchen to look for food. Kids need food, right? The boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - looked thin. Minato and Kushina always hated how thin Kakashi was.
“One more bowl, Kakashi-kun,” Kushina used to chirp. “You barely ate anything. You’re skin and bones!”
Kakashi’s cupboards were mostly empty. He was rarely in the apartment and, when he was, he was rarely hungry. There were food pills and ration bars, but kids didn’t like those kinds of things - Rin and Obito used to hate them. Oh, and a lone cup of instant ramen.
When did that get there?
Kakashi pulled the cup out and looked at it. It expired two days ago but that was fine. Right?
Kakashi used to eat expired food all the time, after Dad.
He put on the kettle and placed the instant ramen on the counter beside the stove. Kids liked ramen, right?
Kushina used to love it.
So the boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - would probably like it too.
The quiet of Kakashi’s apartment was broken when little feet made their way into the kitchen. The boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - was dry now, drowning in Kakashi’s old shirt and looking up at him with hesitant optimism.
“Thanks,” the little boy chirped.
Kakashi hummed as the kettle whistled and motioned toward the single chair at his table. The boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - blinked up at him in confusion for a minute before he scrambled into the chair.
“Wait three minutes,” Kakashi told him as he placed the cup of ramen in front of him.
“Three?” the boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - squawked. “Why so long?”
Kakashi shrugged. “For the noodles to cook.”
The boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - moaned but relented, looking up at Kakashi with wide, interested blue eyes. Minato’s blue eyes. “What’s your name, mister?”
“Kakashi.” It came out surprisingly easily from his numb tongue and even more numb brain.
“I’m Naruto Uzumaki!” The boy - Naruto Uzumaki. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son. - announced. “And I’m gonna be the Hokage!”
Kakashi raised his eyebrow at the boy. “Huh.”
“You don’t believe me? I am! I’m gonna be the best Hokage ever! And then she’s gonna be sorry she was so mean to me.”
The last part was whispered but it hung in the air. Kakashi ignored it.
“You can probably eat now,” he told the boy - Naruto Uzumaki. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son.
“Yeah?”
“Hmm. I’ll go make up the couch.”
He left the boy - Naruto Uzumaki. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - in the kitchen and left to dig out some extra blankets. He didn’t have any. Huh. Kakashi never realized that. He ducked into his own room, snatching his pillow and blanket from his bed and settling them on the couch.
“Hey, Kashi?”
Kakashi flinched at the name. No one had called him that since Dad died and it stung. It stung deeply and painfully. Like a million kunai cuts. It cut through the numbness with the power of a paper bomb.
It cut through the numbness.
Kakashi looked up at the boy - Naruto Uzumaki. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - and found him rocking on his toes in the kitchen doorway. The stinging stole any hope of words from Kakashi’s tongue so he hummed instead.
“How come you’re being so nice to me?”
More stinging. Harsh and angry and demanding. It slashed at the numbness, settling in his chest and pounding. Demanding to get out.
“Is there a reason I shouldn’t be?” Kakashi asked.
The boy - Naruto Uzumaki. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - stared at him for a long minute before his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. “I dunno,” he admitted after a minute. “No one ever is.”
Kakashi hummed again, waving the boy over. “Sleep here,” he said. “I’ll be down the hall if you need anything.”
“Really?”
“Hmm.”
The boy - Naruto. Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son. Naruto. Naruto.
Naruto beamed up at him. “Thanks, Kashi!”
“Good night,” Kakashi said.
He needed to walk away. The stinging was overwhelming. It was starting to rush down his entire body, poking into his head and hands and chest. And Sage, it hurt .
Little arms wrapped around his leg before he could walk away. Kakashi’s entire body tensed and his head snapped down to look at the boy - Naruto. His head snapped down to look at Naruto as the young boy hugged him.
“Thanks,” Naruto said again. “You’re really great, Kashi!”
“Go to sleep.” Kakashi's voice came out a little hoarser than he wanted it to.
With one last squeeze, Naruto released his leg and clambered up onto the couch. Kakashi fled the room as quickly as he could.
His room was cold.
Cold.
Empty.
Grounding.
Each breath heaved out of his chest as the stinging intensified and his eyes burned and his hands shook.
Kakashi gasped around the needles of pain, his hands itching with dried blood that he knew wasn’t there. It wasn’t there anymore.
What was happening?
Where was the numb?
Where was the quiet?
Why did everything hurt ?
It took several seconds - minutes? Hours? - for Kakashi to draw in a steady breath and for his hands to stop shaking.
Naruto was still on the couch when Kakashi dared to venture out the next morning. The warm reds and oranges were fading from the sky, leaving the haze of evaporating rain to hover in the lightening sky. Kakashi stared in the doorway to his sitting room, his eye locked on the small bundle tucked beneath his blanket.
Naruto Uzumaki.
Kushina’s son.
Minato’s son.
Kakashi’s chest hurt.
The numb hadn’t returned, not completely. It lingered at the edge of his brain.
Let it stay , the logical part of his brain said. You need it.
For what? Kakashi didn’t ask.
A steady knocking broke through the quiet. Kakashi started.
For that , the logical part of his brain said. You can’t feel. You can’t sense. You’ll die.
Die.
Die.
Die.
That’s okay, Kakashi didn’t say.
Naruto stirred on the couch as Kakashi crossed to his door and pulled it open. He immediately wished he hadn’t. It wasn’t every day Kakashi got a personal visit from the Third Hokage. Mostly, Lord Third stopped in every once in a while, to make sure Kakashi hadn’t killed himself like his father. For Minato, Kakashi knew. Because everyone loved Minato.
Even Kakashi.
He missed Minato.
“Lord Hokage,” Kakashi found his voice with a start, realizing that he’d been doing nothing but staring at the Third Hokage for at least a few seconds - minutes? Hours?.
“Kakashi.” Lord Third’s lips turned down with displeasure as little footsteps padded against the floor behind Kakashi. “I understand you have a guest.”
“Grampa Hokage?” Naruto’s sleepy voice muttered as he came to a stop beside Kakashi’s hip. His blond hair - Minato’s blond hair - was mussed and he was rubbing his eyes the way Kushina used to when Kakashi accidentally woke her from a nap. “What’re you doing here?”
The Third Lord frowned down at the boy and then at Kakashi. “I came to bring you back home.”
“What?” Naruto looked up with heartbreak on his face. “Why? I can stay here. Right, Kashi?”
“Come on, Kashi, it’s time to head home!”
“Eat your vegetables, Kashi. You want to be strong, don’t you?”
“I love you, Kashi. Never doubt that.”
It hurt. Every inch of Kakashi burned with agony.
The Hokage shot Kakashi a very pointed look, one that left no room for arguments.
“Go on,” Kakashi told Naruto, hating how weak his voice sounded.
It hurt .
You need it.
Naruto’s blue eyes - Minato’s blue eyes - filled with tears. His mouth opened, but his voice wavered. He wiped at his face roughly, like he was trying to hide the tears Kakashi had already seen. Then he turned to Kakashi with something close to desperation. “But-”
“Naruto,” Lord Third said firmly. “Come along.”
The boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son. Naruto - shot passed the Hokage and down the stairs. The Hokage sighed.
The pain ebbed away.
Don’t let it, the logical part of Kakashi’s brain said. You need it.
“I appreciate all that you do for the village, Kakashi,” Lord Third said, his voice firm but not unkind. “And I understand that it may be difficult. But the law is the law. You know that, right?”
The numbness crept back in.
Don’t let it, the logical part of Kakashi’s brain screamed. If you don’t feel, you’ll die.
Die.
Die.
Die.
That’s okay.
“Yes, Lord Hokage.”
Kakashi closed the door, leaning back against it and slid to the ground of his quiet apartment.
Kakashi hated the quiet.
Kashi.
You need it.
Kashi.
If you don’t feel, you’ll die.
Kashi.
Die.
Kashi.
Die.
Kashi.
I don’t want you to die.
Kakashi picked up his head and looked across the room. His apartment was darker now. When did that happen?
Kashi .
He should stand up. Get some proper sleep.
No doubt he’d have another mission soon.
Kashi .
You need it.
Kakashi didn’t move. The cabinets were quiet.
The apartment was quiet.
Kakashi hated the quiet.
Kashi.
You need it .
Blue eyes - Minato’s blue eyes - full of tears.
“Why? I can stay here. Right Kashi?”
So trusting.
Friend-Killer Kakashi .
Rin. Obito.
What would you do?
Kashi .
He wasn’t surprised to find the ANBU guards Lord Third assigned to watch over the boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son - were low class. It was becoming achingly obvious that either Kakashi was missing something or Lord Third really didn’t care about the boy - Naruto. Kushina’s son. Minato’s son.
Really, he wasn’t sure which option was worse.
Kashi .
The boy - Naruto. Naruto. Naruto.
Naruto had a room to himself. The caretakers at the orphanage didn’t want anyone sharing with him. They were afraid the fox would break free while he slept.
Ridiculous.
Minato-sensei was a master of fūinjutsu. The Nine-Tails wouldn’t get out so easily.
Kashi .
Naruto wasn’t asleep. Kakashi could see him sitting up in his bed, staring out the opposite window. It looked out toward the forest instead of Hokage rock.
Kashi .
Carefully, Kakashi slid the window open. He wasn’t quiet about it - not like he used to be when Naruto was a baby and he slipped into the nursery just to make sure that Naruto was alive. That the Nine-Tails hadn’t taken everything - and Naruto jumped slightly, spinning around to look at him.
He blinked owlishly at Kakashi, blue eyes wide with disbelief for a minute. Then he rocketed off the bed. The shirt he wore brushed his shins.
Kakashi’s shirt.
The shirt Kakashi had given him last night.
He was still wearing it.
Why?
“Kashi!” By some miracle, Naruto’s voice stayed hushed. “You came back!” His excited grin - he looked like Kushina when he smiled wide like that - faded. “Grampa Hokage said I wasn’t allowed to see you anymore.”
His fingers curled into the hem of Kakashi’s shirt, gripping the fabric like it could keep him here.
Kakashi swallowed hard.
That was the law.
Hokage’s word was law.
And shinobi who broke the rules were scum.
Kashi .
“Naruto,” Kakashi’s voice scraped against his throat.
This is a mistake! the shinobi part of his brain screamed. This is a mistake!
Kashi .
You need this , the logical part of his brain argued.
Kashi .
Kakashi swallowed again. “Naruto.”
He shouldn’t say it.
Kashi.
You need to feel or you’ll die.
He had to say it.
Kashi.
Kashi.
Kashi.
It clawed its way up his throat, ripping through his ribs like an exposed wound.
It hurt.
It hurt.
It hurt.
Kashi.
Kashi.
Kashi.
KashiKashiKashiKashi.
"Do you want to run away?"
Notes:
We all need a bit of depresso espresso Kakashi, don't we?
I've never written for this fandom before - though I've got a TON of One Piece fics - and I'm still relatively new to Naruto in general. I got super addicted to the angst, guilt ridden mess of a man that is Hatake Kakashi and now there's no going back. I live for it. That being said, I'm still getting used to the spellings of a lot of the jutsus and such. Feel free to correct them in the comments and I'll fix them when I can. Otherwise, I don't have as indepth of knowledge/understanding of a lot of the stuff, so I'm making it up as I go along. If that's not your style, my writing might not be for you!
Anyway, all that to say, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that I'll see you again! Until next time, remember to stay healthy, stay sane, and stay safe out there!
Chapter 2: The Boy and the Broken Blade
Summary:
Naruto Uzumaki is going to be the greatest ninja ever! Even stronger than the Fourth Hokage, believe it! His caretaker - Kashi - is mostly just tired…
Notes:
Thank you guys so much for all the support I got for chapter one! I'm glad you like all liked it.
This chapter is where we get some of that sweet found family feels. Naruto is about 4 in this chapter, he and Kakashi have been out of the Leaf Village for a few weeks, maybe a month or so (for timing reference).
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Kashi was weird.
Not in a bad “the whole village hates you, you're a monster” kind of way. In a good way. At least Naruto thought it was a good way. The village would probably disagree with him but they didn't live in the village anymore so it didn’t matter what the village thought.
Naruto wasn't some lonely orphan anymore. He was an adventurer. A traveling ninja who got to do all sorts of cool and dangerous stuff. And he wasn't lonely either because he had Kashi.
Kashi who was weird.
The good kind of weird.
Kashi liked Naruto and that was really weird but Naruto really liked it.
Kashi bought him snacks. And clothes. He didn't tell Naruto to shut up, ever . And he didn't even get mad when Naruto broke stuff.
Well, he did get kinda mad when Naruto cut himself on one of Kashi’s kunai - even though Kashi told him he was “absolutely not allowed to touch weapons. You're four for Sage’s sake”. But, Kashi didn't really seem angry . Not like the ladies at the orphanage that yelled at him. Kashi seemed scared.
Was that the right word?
It couldn't be.
Kashi never got scared. He was a ninja! The best ninja in entire world. And Kashi was going to teach Naruto had to be a great ninja too!
They'd already started working on chakra control. Kashi said that once they were done, Naruto would be able to walk up trees. Not climb trees, walk up them.
Naruto couldn't do it yet but Kashi said that was okay.
“Its something mostly taught to older students,” Kashi said when he cleaned Naruto's scraped knee. “Don't push yourself too hard, Naruto. You'll get it.”
That was another weird thing about Kashi. He believed in Naruto. Even when Naruto didn't believe in himself, Kashi would shrug and close his eye so it crinkled a little in the corner - that's how Naruto knew Kashi was smiling - and ruffle his hair. Then he'd say something like “You'll get there” or “I know you can do it. Keep trying”.
Keep trying.
Kashi told him that a lot.
So Naruto would keep trying at everything, until he could do anything
Including catching that stupid rabbit.
He crouched low to the ground, the way he'd seen Kashi do when he was being sneaky. Though, Kashi was doing a bad job at being sneaky now. He leaned up against one of the trees, one of his books in his hand, and occasionally glanced around Naruto with a half closed eye. He looked like he wanted to laugh or sleep or maybe both.
Bur that was fine. Kashi always got them dinner so Naruto could take a turn.
The brush hustled in front of him. Naruto grinned.
“See, Kashi! I told you I could catch it.”
“Finding it and catching it are two different things,” Kashi told him, in that sing-song voice.
It was Kashi’s “I told you so” voice. Which, Naruto really liked. Most people's “I told you so” voices were loud and mean but Kashi's was soft and musical. Even when Naruto was wrong, it never felt like he was wrong .
“Well, duh. I haven't grabbed it yet. But the best way to get a rabbit is to scare it-”
The bush rustled again and a small mass of brown shot out and away. Naruto lunged, hands flailing to catch it, but it was gone before he even got a chance to move.
“Aw man! I almost had it!”
Behind him, Kashi let out a soft hum. “Almost,” he agreed, patting Naruto's head with his book as he squatted down beside him.
It didn't hurt. It used to hurt when people hit Naruto on the head with stuff but not anymore. Not with Kashi.
“Maybe your next ninja lesson should be on stealth,” Kashi said.
“Aw, but that's boring.”
Kashi hummed again. “Alright, we'll have fish for dinner.”
“No way!” Naruto made an x with his arm and glared up at Kashi. “No way, no more fish, Kashi! I'm sick of fish.”
Kashi's single eyebrow raised. Naruto wondered what he looked like under his mask and his hitai-ate. Even when they ate, Kashi didn't take his mask off - not when Naruto could see. He ate really fast too. He could eat a whole fish before Naruto even took a bite. Probably because he didn't want anyone to see him without his mask on. Which was a problem because Naruto only wanted to see Kashi without his mask even more.
Maybe he was hiding a big, ugly scar - kinda like the one on his other eye. Naruto had seen that one when he first met Kashi. It cut all the way from his forehead and down his cheek. But that wasn't why he wore his hitai-ate all crooked. It was because Kashi’s eye was red! Redder than an apple. Naruto didn't really get why Kashi had one gray eye and one red eye - Kashi just said the red one was a gift, which only made Naruto even more confused - but it was really cool.
Or maybe he had an extra tiny mouth.
Or buck teeth.
Though, Naruto really hoped that it was a cool scar. Kashi was too cool to have buck teeth or a tiny mouth.
“You scared off the rabbit,” Kashi said, not in a mean way though. Kashi never pointed out Naruto's mistakes in a mean way. He said it the same way he talked about how hot the sun was, like it was kind of boring. “So what do you think we're going to eat?”
“Not fish. Please , Kashi. You're a ninja. You can sneak up on the rabbit really easy, right? Please?”
Kashi sighed. “Alright. Alright. No fish.”
Kashi was really easy to convince to do different stuff. Most of the time, as long as Naruto whined enough, Kashi would let him do what he wanted. There were only a couple of times when Kashi said “no” and actually meant it. Like when Naruto wanted to scale that cliff - Kashi said not until he learned how to walk up trees - or when Naruto wanted to make homemade fireworks - Kashi said “over my dead body” and Naruto didn’t want Kashi to die, so he let it go.”
Kashi pulled something from his pocket, twisting it absently in his long fingers.
“A scroll?” Naruto frowned. “How’s a scroll gonna catch a rabbit? You can’t read to a rabbit, Kashi?”
“You can’t?” Kashi asked, like he didn’t already know that. Which was dumb because Kashi was the smartest person ever, so he should have already known that.
Naruto paused. Could you catch a rabbit by reading to it?
Kashi’s eye crinkled again and he tapped the scroll on Naruto’s head in that real soft way. “Don’t think too hard now.” Then he turned his head away and when he turned back there was red on his thumb. “Summoning jutsu!”
White smoke puffed in the air around Kashi’s scroll. Naruto definitely didn’t flinch away and almost fall into Kashi’s lap. He just moved a little closer, in case Kashi was scared.
A dog stood there as the smoke cleared away with light grey fur and a mohawk. He had a blue vest with a heno-heno-moheji painted in a white circle and a hitai-ate around his neck that looked just like Kashi’s, except the swirly leaf symbol wasn’t scratched through.
“Whaddya ne - Boss?”
Could dogs look surprised or worried? Naruto thought so because this dog's eyes got all wide as he stared up at Kashi, and he stood up with all his legs locked and tense.
Wait, could dogs talk?
“Hey, Shiba,” Kashi said in that soft, lazy way. Except it was a little softer, a little lazier. And he didn’t wiggle his fingers when he waved, the way he did with Naruto. He just waved his whole hand kind of weakly.
“Kakashi, what-?”
“He talks!” Naruto blurted out.
The dog’s head jerked in his direction, nose twitching. Kashi hummed softly, hand tapping the top of Naruto’s head.
“Yes. All my ninken do.”
“ All of them? You got more?”
Another hum.
“Can I meet them?”
“You will. Don’t worry.”
“Now?”
“No. Not now. Now, Shiba’s going to help us get dinner.”
“Kakashi,” Shiba said again. “What’s going on? Your hitai-ate. What-”
“Shiba. This is,” Kashi froze for a minute before ruffling Naruto’s hair and turning his half-lidded eye to look at the dog. “This is Naruto. Naruto, this is Shiba.”
“Hi!” Naruto grinned over at Shiba.
The dog didn’t look as happy to see Naruto and something uncomfortable bubbled in his stomach. He didn’t like the way Shiba stared at him, head cocked to the side. It was too close to how everyone in the village looked at him. Like he was wrong. Like he didn’t belong.
Kashi never looked at him like that.
“I’ll tell you later,” Kashi said. “Our dinner got away. What are the chances you’d be willing to help us out?”
For a long minute, Shiba was quiet. Then he turned back to look up at Kashi. “You sure?”
“As I’ve ever been.”
Shiba tilted his head up and smelled the air. “Rabbit, huh?”
Shiba caught them three rabbits and said they had to share with him but Kashi didn’t seem all that upset about it. He skinned the rabbits and tossed pieces to Shiba to chew on while he made stew over the fire. Waiting for dinner was the most boring part of the day because it was when Kashi made Naruto do school work.
It was dumb because Naruto didn’t think that ninjas needed school but Kashi kept telling him they did. Even spelling was important, Kashi kept telling him, for stuff like summonings. Summonings might be cool. Shiba still didn’t seem too sure about Naruto but at least he wasn’t mean. He just didn’t talk to Naruto a lot and he kept looking over at Naruto with his doggy eyebrows all raised up.
“Try again,” Kashi said, glancing down at Naruto’s paper while he stirred the stew.
“But Kashi,” Naruto whined.
“You have to be able to write your name, Naruto. You need it for summoning contracts.”
“This is boring.”
“Some things are.”
“Being a ninja isn’t!”
“Oh? And which one of us is a ninja?”
Pouting, Naruto flopped back onto his log. Kashi’s eye crinkled like it always did when he smiled.
The rabbit stew was way better than fish and it made Naruto extra warm, even when he was crawling into his sleeping mat. Kashi pulled the blanket tight over him and ruffled his hair.
“Good night.”
“Night, Kashi. Night, Shiba.”
Shiba was quiet for a minute before he huffed out, “Night, Pup.”
Pup.
Naruto peaked open an eye to look at the dog. Pup was a nickname, right? Naruto had never had one of those before. Not a nice one, anyway.
Kashi patted the dog’s head as he sat down next to the fire.
Pup.
Naruto liked it.
“You gonna tell me what happened?” Shiba asked as Naruto rolled over and snuggled further under his blanket.
“Later,” Kashi sighed.
There was a soft thud and huff. Naruto glanced over his shoulder to see Shiba laying on the ground beside Kashi’s log, his paws crossed and his head resting on top of them. Turning back over, Naturo bit back a yawn and snuggled further beneath his blanket.
“Summon Bull or Ūhei. We'll keep watch.”
Kashi hummed.
Naruto’s eyes felt heavier and Shiba’s voice started to sound kind of far away.
“I mean it Kakashi.”
“I thought Pakkun was the bossy one.” Kashi’s voice was all soft, the way it got when Naruto said stuff he thought was silly.
Kashi sounded tired.
Shiba scoffed. “He is. I don’t know what happened, but I know you’ve been running, Kakashi. Long enough I can smell it on you.”
Kashi sounded tired and so did Shiba.
“Summon Bull. We’ll take care of it.”
Both of them sounded really tired but Naruto figured that was okay. Kashi always kept him safe.
The wind kicked up some of the dirt from the road as they walked down the road. It was kind of magical, like all the books Kashi had started reading to him before bed. Like the dust was trying to give Naruto a big reveal of the inn.
Kashi said they were near a village - not the Leaf Village, he assured Naruto. He wasn’t angry when Naruto started crying. He was really nice about it and he promised they weren’t going back to the Leaf Village. They were months away from the Leaf Village. This was a smaller village, one that lots of different travelers went to - and the village had an inn.
Naruto didn’t really know what an inn was, he’d heard people talking about them back at the Leaf Village when he was running around. And it was always people wearing really nice clothes and carrying really fancy purses. Which meant that fancy people got to go to inns. Naruto had never gotten to do anything fancy before.
Naruto saw the buildings first. There were lots of them with smoke curling from chimneys and colorful banners hanging from the entrance. Then, as the dust cleared, he could see people walking around, stopping at stalls and lighting the lanterns as the sun sunk lower in the sky.
He saw the inn last, right in the center of the town. It was bigger than Naruto expected, standing two wooden stories tall with a sloping tiled roof. The entrance had a curtain that swayed in the breeze and was painted with an elegant black kanji he couldn’t read - not yet. But Kashi said he was getting really good at reading.A wooden sign hung over the door and, even if Naruto couldn’t read it, it looked important.
It looked a lot fancier than he thought it would.
Naruto skipped forward, his legs moving faster as excitement bubbled from his stomach to the tips of his toes.
Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up.
Kashi’s hand snagged the back of his shirt before he could get far.
“Is that it? Is that it?” Naruto tried to pull away.
Kashi gave him a gentle tug. “Naruto,” he said in his real patient voice, the one that always meant “you already know the answer. Why are you asking me again?” . It made Kashi sound more tired than usual. “You have to walk with me.”
Naruto pouted up at him. He knew it was one of Kashi’s rules - Naruto always had to stay where Kashi could see him. But how was he supposed to stay still when there was something that cool right in front of him?
Kashi sighed as he used his free hand to pull his hitai-ate off and tucked it in his pack. Naruto blinked up at him. Kashi looked funny without his hitai-ate. He kept his red eye closed, the scar smooth over his eyelid as it stretched down his cheek.
Both Kashi’s eyes crinkled when he smiled. “Come on. Let’s go.”
Kashi let him start down the path again, one hand still gripping Naruto’s collar loosely. His other hand was occupied with his book. Naruto kept asking what it was about but Kashi just gave him that real tired look and said “you’ll understand when you’re older”. Kashi used that excuse a lot when he didn’t want to tell Naruto stuff.
The inn smelled like warm cedar and old paper. The walls glowed golden under the lanter lights and Naruto desperately wanted to bound over to them and watch the way the flames flickered. Kashi’s hand tightened around his collar and he tugged Naruto toward the front desk tucked in the corner. Lotus flowers were painted across the walls and it felt really warm.
Warmer than any room Naruto had even been in.
“Room for two?” the lady behind the counter asked. “Oh, your son is so cute.”
“He’s something,” Kashi said, his voice that same patient tired.
Naruto’s whole body felt even warmer. The lady had called him Kashi’s son and Kashi didn’t correct her. The lady laughed at Kashi and started to look through the book on her desk. Naruto leaned a little closer to Kashi, so he could rest his head on Kashi’s hip. Kashi say anything but he didn’t move away either.
“This place is really nice, Kashi,” Naruto whispered, scanning the pretty pictures hung up all over.
“Hmm. Don’t get used to it.”
Naruto puffed out his cheeks. “But why not? We should stay in places like this all the time.”
Both Kashi’s eyes crinkled. “Nice places cost nice money, Naruto.”
Naruto whined.
“Oh, don’t do that,” Kashi said, tapping his head with the book. “It just means you’ll appreciate it more when we can have it. Look, there’s even a bathhouse.”
Any sad thoughts of having to sleep on a bedroll again vanished. “A bathhouse?”
He’d heard of bathhouses before but he’d never been in one. They were supposed to be really big and really relaxing. At the orphanage there were only the big, cold metal tubs. And with Kashi, they bathed in the river most of the time.
“I just need you to sign here and pay the fee,” the lady said, pushing a book toward Kashi and handing him a pen.
Naruto snatched Kashi’s sleeve, tugging on him before Kashi could forget about the bathhouse. Kashi was great and super smart but he forgot about lots of stuff. “Can we go? Right now?”
Kashi snorted as he scribbled on the book. “At least let me get the key first.”
Naruto was brave. He had to be because he was going to be the greatest ninja in the world! Even better than the Fourth Hokage. So he definitely wasn’t afraid of the ghost story that the old guys in the bathtub were talking about. But maybe Kashi was scared.
The room was dark and the dark could be kind of scary. Especially since that was when ghosts came out. And if Kashi heard the old guys in the bathhouse talking about the ghosts that lived in the inn, he was probably scared. So Naruto should really check on him.
“Kashi?” Naruto whispered.
Only soft breathing answered him.
Maybe Kashi was too scared to talk.
Peeking around the room to make sure that no ghosts were watching, Naruto crawled off his futon and over to Kashi’s.
“Kashi?”
“Hmm?” Kashi’s hum sounded kind of like a whine.
“Are you scared?”
Kashi’s body moved. His red eye glowed in the dark as he opened it and if Naruto didn’t know it was Kashi he might have been really scared. “Scared?” Kashi still sounded half asleep.
“Yeah, of the ghost?”
“The ghost?” Kashi echoed.
“Mmm hmm. Those guys in the bathhouse, they said there were ghosts here.”
The red disappeared for a second before it came back. “Come on.” Kashi’s blankets rustled as he lifted them and Naruto hurried to press himself into Kashi’s side. Because clearly, if Kashi was asking him to stay on the futon with him, Kashi was scared.
“It’s okay if you’re scared,” Naruto assured him.
Kashi shifted again and Naruto felt Kashi’s arm wrap around him. “Well, that’s good,” Kashi said around a yawn.
He was warm. Kashi was always warm but Naruto never really paid attention to it before. Ghosts liked the dark and they liked cold things, so Kashi probably scared them away pretty easy. He had that bright red eye and he was warm.
But still.
“Can you use jutsu on a ghost?” Naruto asked.
“I don’t know,” Kashi mumbled. “Never seen one.”
“Really?”
“Mmm.”
Naruto closed his eyes and snuggled a little closer to Kashi’s chest. The room was nice and quiet. There was no cold breeze that surprised him while he was sleeping and no animals rustling around too close. It was almost perfect.
Except for the ghost.
Naruto rolled over to look around the room. It seemed quiet and still but he couldn’t see in the dark.
Maybe it was better if he wasn’t trying to look. Maybe he’d forget about it then and he could sleep.
He rolled back over, pressing himself into Kashi’s chest.
But if his back was to the ghosts, it was so much easier for them to sneak up on him.
Naruto rolled over again.
“Naruto,” Kashi muttered. “What’s wrong now?”
“I’m looking for the ghost.”
Kashi sighed.
Naruto tried not to wilt under the sound. “I’m sorry.”
“No, no,” Kashi said. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just wondering if this is what Minato-sensei had to put up with when I was your age.”
Minato. Naruto knew that name from somewhere. It felt really important, like he’d heard it a lot in the village.
Minato-sensei.
That part didn’t sound right.
Normally people said “Minato-sama”, didn’t they?
Oh, wait.
“Isn’t Minato the Fourth Hokage’s name?”
Kashi’s red eye peeked down at him for a long minute. “Yes. He was my teacher.”
“The Fourth Hokage was?” Naruto shot up and turned to look down at Kashi. “He was the greatest Hokage ever !”
Even in the dark, with just Kashi’s red eye - the one with a pupil and then three more little black dots around it. It was creepy in the dark, but that was okay. It was just Kashi. Naruto had nothing to be afraid of. He had Kashi - Naruto could tell Kashi was a little confused.
“Naruto,” Kashi said softly. “Do you know what your father’s name was?”
Naruto blinked. “My father? No. I thought he was dead. And my mom too.”
“They are.” Kashi choked it out slowly and quietly, like it hurt him to say. “They died the night you were born.”
“Did you know them?”
“Yes.”
The whisper hung in the air and Naruto vibrated with excitement. His parents? No one had ever known his parents before! Grandpa Hokage just told him they were brave and the orphanage ladies said they were nobody. But Kashi knew.
“Your - uh - your mom’s name was Kushina. Kushina Uzumaki. You’re a lot like her.”
Kashi sounded strange. His voice was shaky and quiet. Some of Naruto’s excitement faded. He didn’t like the way Kashi’s voice sounded. Like he had sliced his hand open on something and now he was trying not to cry about it.
“She loved ramen. And she was always full of energy. And she liked to drag me around, all over the village. Just like you.”
“Kushina,” Naruto echoed. He tried to wrap his fingers around the name and shove it into his chest where it’d be safe forever.
“And your dad. Your dad. He was.” Now Kashi’s voice was really, really strange. It got kind of high and stuffy. “He was the greatest man I ever knew.”
Naruto opened his mouth to tell Kashi it was okay. He didn’t need to know about his dad. At least now he knew his mom’s name. That was something he’d always wanted. She had a name - Kushina Uzumaki! - and she liked ramen like Naruto. And she liked Kashi like Naruto.
“His name was Minato Namikaze.”
Minato.
But…
“But that’s the Fourth Hokage’s name!”
Kashi’s hand tapped Naruto’s head lightly before it ruffled his hair. “You look just like him,” Kashi whispered, still thick and stuffy. “He was happy too, like you. And kind. They loved you so much.”
“They did?”
Kashi hummed and tugged on Naruto’s arm until he laid down again. Kashi felt warm and solid even as Naruto felt like he was floating away.
He had parents. And they weren’t nobodies.
They were Kushina Uzumaki and Minato Namikaze.
Minato Namikaze.
The Fourth Hokage.
Naruto had heard his name his whole life. The Fourth Hokage had saved the whole village. They loved him and respected him. Everyone said he was a great ninja - the greatest.
And Kashi said he was happy and kind.
Like Naruto.
“Minato was my sensei for my whole life,” Kashi whispered. “Even when I had nothing, I had him. After my dad died. He was the only one there. Well, him and Kushina. So when they found out about you, Minato-sensei asked me to look after your mom. She was so excited to have you. It took her hours to pick out what color to paint your nursery. And she read every book about parenting she could find. She wanted to be the best mom for you. And Minato-sensei used to laugh and tell her not to worry so much. That no matter what, you were going to be the best kid ever.” Kashi’s arm tightened around him. “Looks like he was right, too.”
The best kid ever.
Naruto’s eyes stung a little and the darkness around him blurred a little bit. “Do you think they’d think so too?”
Kashi hummed. “I know so.”
Notes:
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Writing little Naruto was fun, he's a cutie!
Until next time, remember to stay healthy, stay sane, and stay safe out there!
Chapter 3: The Monster Inside Me
Summary:
Kashi's still tired, but at least Naruto's making friends!
Notes:
Thank you all for the kind comments! I'm glad you've been enjoying the story thus far.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Naruto sighed loudly and glared across the empty firepit. Kashi didn't wake up. He stayed on his side, tucked beneath his blanket even though the sun was already all the way up in the sky. Shiba laid next to him, his head on Kashi's hip like he was a pillow.
Ninjas were supposed to wake up early, with the sun. Kashi always said that Dad woke them up early. Kashi's friend, Obito, hated it. They always woke up when the sky was pretty colors like purple and pink. Kashi always liked to tell him that in dark morning, Dad was always the brightest thing. He woke up the earliest and made them breakfast and always smiled.
That was what ninjas were supposed to do. But Kashi was still sleeping.
“Kashi,” Naruto said. “Are you gonna wake up soon?”
Kashi didn't even move. If he didn't have a mask on, Naruto was almost positive he'd be drooling.
“Naruto,” Pakkun huffed, lifting his head up to look over. “Let him sleep.”
“I am,” Naruto huffed.
It wasn't like he was over there shaking Kashi. He was just talking to him. Besides, Kashi really should be up by now. He was a ninja after all.
“Pup,” Pakkun's voice could get all quiet and patient, kind of like Kashi's got sometimes. “I know you like to move but Kakashi hasn't slept in days. He only calls us when he needs rest. Let him sleep.”
“But ninjas wake up early.”
“Boss isn't like other ninjas, you know that. He needs his sleep.”
“I am letting him sleep,” Naruto repeated, glaring over at Kashi's still sleeping form.
Pakkun huffed, the way Kashi did when he knew Naruto was lying. “Pakkun, I'm bored.”
The pug grumbled slightly. “Here that Shiba? The kid’s bored.”
Shiba lifted his head for Kashi's hip with a sigh. “That my problem?”
Pakkun and Shiba stared at each other. They did that sometimes. And they'd stare at Kashi too. Kashi understood their stares really well, like he could read their minds.
After a long minute, Shiba huffed and stood up. “Come on, Pup. We'll go find breakfast.”
That actually sounded great. Naruto was hungry and Kashi was sleeping. And Naruto was six now! He was going to be a great shinobi! And maybe the best way to show Kashi how much he wasn't a little kid and Kashi could teach him cool shinobi stuff was by making breakfast.
“Kay!” Naruto grinned as he stood up. “There's a river nearby. I'm really good at fishing, Shiba!”
“I don't doubt it, Pup.”
Shiba trotted next to Naruto as they made their way down to the river. Kashi always fished with a rod but that was boring. Naruto liked to use sharp sticks like spears. It was really good training for being a ninja, even Kashi said.
Shiba laid on the rocks while Naruto rolled up his pant legs. The water was pretty cool but it was already starting to get hot out. There were lots of fish in the river and Naruto missed a lot, but Shiba grunted his approval when Naruto finally caught one.
“Ugh,” Naruto said, throwing down a fifth fish as a horrible thought entered his head. “I'm gonna have to descale ‘em n’ gut ‘em too. And Kashi just gets to sleep the whole time. That's not fair, ya know!”
Shiba raised one of his doggy eyebrows. Naruto hated it when he did that. It always meant Shiba was going to tell him something he didn't want to hear.
“Doesn't Kakashi normally catch the fish and descale it and gut it and cook it?” Shiba asked. “Then you just eat it.”
“Well yeah, but.”
Shiba raised his eyebrow a little higher.
“Fine,” Naruto whined.
“Good Pup.”
Kashi slept through all the descaling and gutting, so he couldn't even praise Naruto for doing all the gross stuff away from camp so no animals got extra interested in them. Shiba did though.
“Not bad.” Shiba trotted along next time him on the way back to camp even though he didn't bother to offer to help carry the fish. “Looks like Boss isn't too bad a teacher, huh?”
“Kashi's great!” Naruto grinned down at him. “He's taught me all kinds of stuff. Even if he does sleep a lot.”
Shiba scoffed.
Naruto had gotten really good at starting fires. Kashi let him practice all the time and now it only took Naruto twenty minutes to get the flames to lick up at the sky. And he knew how to cook too. Kashi made him try it lots - he said it was trail and error, which was a big thing for a ninja to learn - and even though he and Kashi had gotten sick lots of times, Naruto really had gotten the hang of it.
He was six now.
He was ready to be a shinobi like Kashi. Maybe not a great shinobi, like Dad. Not yet. But he would be!
“Smells good.”
Naruto did not jump - thank you very much, he was a shinobi. Shinobi didn't get startled - at the sound of Kashi’s voice. His blanket rustled as he sat up and stretched his arms over his head, his hitai-ate pushed up onto his forehead. Kashi looked really funny when he didn't have one of his eyes covered. But, at least his red eye wasn't open.
Naruto knew Kashi would never hurt him but he didn't really like the red eye. It made him feel funny, like something deep in his chest was scared of the eye. Which was crazy because it was Kashi's eye.
“I caught five,” Naruto told him with a grin. “So Pakkun and Shiba could have some too.”
Kashi's eye crinkled as he pulled his hitai-ate back down. “Good job.”
Naruto's chest got all warm. He watched Kashi stand and he must have still been tired because he staggered a little bit. He didn't do that very often, Naruto had only seen him stagger twice - both times after Kashi got done fighting people - and it was only when he was tired.
But Kashi was a ninja, so he steadied himself real quick and plopped down beside Naruto near the fire. Kashi ruffled Naruto’s hair as he pulled out his book.
“What, nothing for us?” Pakkun huffed.
“Naruto's making you fish,” Kashi said.
Shiba snorted and Pakkun growled a little. “You're so ungrateful, Boss.”
“Maa, maa.”
“Hey, Kashi?” Naruto glanced up at Kashi after he turned the fish - he always waited until after he turned the fish to stop look at it. If he got distracted talking to Kashi for too long then he'd burn it again.
“Hmm?”
“Do we gotta walk a bunch again today?”
Kashi turned a page in his book. “Do you have something better you'd like to do?”
“Yes! I wanna train!”
Kashi raised his eyebrow. “Oh? We’re not doing water walking. The river is moving too fast.”
Naruto pouted. “But I can walk on the trees.”
“I know. You did a great job with it, Naruto. But the river is moving much too fast to practice on. If you fall in, you'll get washed away.”
“But Kashi.”
“Pick something else.”
“Mmm.” Naruto crossed his arms over his chest - not to pout, just to think. Ninjas didn't pout! - and glared at the fire. “Can we do target practice?”
Kashi tapped Naruto on the head with his book. “I think we can manage that.”
“Try again.”
It was a simple and patient suggestion but it made Naruto so mad. Normally, he liked that Kashi was so indifferent when he failed. It was nice. It had been a really long time since Naruto had to be in the Leaf Village but he still remembered the stinging in his chest when people yelled at him. Even now, he didn’t know why the people hated him, just that they did. They yelled and hit and hated. And Kashi didn’t do any of that.
Usually it was so great, but right now, it made Naruto mad.
How was he supposed to get even better if Kashi didn’t care if he got better?
Glaring at the shuriken that betrayed him, Naruto, scooped them up and went back to his start point. Kashi stood at the tree nearby, flipping through his book and glancing up at Naruto every once in a while.
Was that how Dad trained Kashi?
No, Dad was the best sensei ever. Kashi said so. Dad wouldn’t have ignored Kashi when he was throwing shuriken. So why was Kashi ignoring him?
Kashi said Dad was loud and he always cheered them on - “even when it embarrassed us” . He said Dad was happy about everything. So why was Kashi so quiet? And why did he always have to be so tired?
“Widen your stance a bit,” Kashi told him. “And flick your wrist, don’t snap it.”
Naruto tried.
His hands shook a little bit.
It didn’t work.
“Try again,” Kashi repeated.
Naruto tried again.
His chest felt heavy and tight.
It didn’t work again.
“Try again.”
Naruto tried again.
It didn’t work again.
“Try a-”
“No!” Naruto threw the spare shuriken to the ground and stomped his foot, trying to get rid of the anger bubbling all over his body. “I don’t want to try again, I want to do it!”
To Naruto’s absolute horror, his vision started to blur with tears. Shinobi didn’t cry. Kashi stared at him for a long minute, watching a few tears slide down Naruto’s cheeks, before he tucked his book away and walked over.
Kashi’s hand ruffled his hair, and Naruto flinched before he could stop himself. It was ab old instinct—buried deep in his stomach, leftover from people who weren’t Kashi. Kashi, who had never hit him. Kashi, who would never hit him.
He peeked up, heart pounding, but Kashi’s face hadn’t changed. He just watched, tired and patient as ever, before squatting down to Naruto’s height.
“You can’t do until you try ,” Kashi said. “That’s what training is Naruto.”
Naruto scrubbed his arm over his eyes. “But that’s not fair. I want to be a shinobi! Like you. Like Dad!”
“Well then you’d better keep training,” Kashi told him. “Your dad and I trained every day.”
“You did?”
“Mmm hmm. I missed every shuriken I threw the first time. Minato-sensei did to.”
“ He did?” Naruto stared up at Kashi with wide eyes.
That didn’t sound right. His dad was a shinobi. A Hokage. The greatest Hokage. Hokages didn’t miss.
Kashi’s eye crinkled like he could hear his thoughts.
“Yup. Ev-er-y day.” Kashi tapped his handle gently with every syllable. “You’re going to get there, Naruto. But there’s still plenty of time. You’re only six. Rushing doesn’t make the shinobi. Time does.”
"When do I get to walk on water?" Naruto asked.
Kashi hummed, his hands shoved in his pockets as he slouched along the path. "Maybe when we come across a lake."
"Aw, Kashi."
It was the worst answer ever and the same answer Kashi had been giving him all week. He really didn't want Naruto on the river because it was too dangerous. Which was dumb because they were traveling shinobi. There was always danger! Besides, Naruto really wanted to be able to walk on water like Kashi could.
A couple leaves drifted down from above them, little green strips that floated down through the golden rays of sunlight. Naruto loved the sunlight. It was warm and bright. Kind of like his dad was supposed to be.
Kashi's hand snatched the back of Naruto's shirt suddenly, yanking him back, behind Kashi. Naruto blinked and looked up. Nothing looked wrong. Kashi still had his slump, one hand in his pocket and the other around Naruto's ollar. He was looking up but his eye still looked lazy, so there couldn't be anything too bad.
"Kashi," Naruto whined, wriggling a little in his hold. "Why'd we stop? I wanna find a lake."
Kashi didn't look at him. He kept staring up at the trees. "We're just passing through."
His voice was too loud for him to be talking to Naruto. But there was no one else for him to talk to. At least no one that he could see. And it was quiet too. Everything was safe and normal.
A man stepped out of the shadows. Naruto blinked as Kashi let go of his collar and fisted his hand in the back of Kashi's black best. There were three thuds behind him as three more men dropped out of the trees.
"Well, well, a missing shinobi traveling with a kid?" the man from the shadows said. His lips curled up to show Naruto his gross, yellow teeth. "Hey, check the bingo book! Let's see what we can get outta him."
"Not much, I'm afraid," Kashi said, his voice still light and lazy.
Naruto looked up at him. Kashi hadn't even pulled out a kunai yet. And he wasn't trying to set up any jutsu or uncovering his red eye. He wasn't doing anything.
Kashi always did this. He never wanted to fight first. He always told people to leave first. But shinobi were supposed to be strong! Dad was always strong in Kashi’s stories. So why did Kashi always want to talk first?
"Kashi," Naruto whined, "aren't you gonna fight them?"
All of the men laughed cruelly. Naruto's hand tightened around Kashi's vest.
"I'd rather not kill you." Kashi's voice was bored, like he was talking about the weather.
The men laugh again. Dirt crunched as they began to moving, circling around Naruto and Kashi. Naruto didn't like it. His back felt all fuzzy knowing they were behind him. But he wasn't scared. Shinobi never got scared.
The man in front of them lopped something at Kashi, black and sleek. A kunai, Naruto realized. The other two lunged toward them.
Kashi heaved out the biggest sigh Naruto had ever heard. "Alright then."
His hand clamped around Naruto's jacket, tugging him out of the way of one of the men. Naruto yelped and looked up just in time to see Kashi catch the kunai in midair! Kashi flipped in with ease and buried it into the throat of the second man rushing them.
A wave of red washed over the man's throat and down Kashi's arm as he pulled the kunai loose.
"Whoa!" Naruto grinned.
"Shit." the man with yellow teeth snarled. "Yono, go around to that side. Ter, get your nose out of that book and help us!"
"B-Boss," the one with the book said. His voice shook real bad.
"We coordinate our attacks and then."
"Boss!" the book man said. "Th-that's. That's. That's Friend Killer Kakashi. The one from the Hidden Leaf."
Kashi huffed out an annoyed noise. It was a noise Naruto had only heard a couple of times and only when Kashi was really annoyed.
"What?" Yellow Teeth's head snapped between Kashi and the Book Guy. "No. That's not possible."
Book Guy turned his book around and Naruto could see a picture of Kashi on the pages. His silver hair was really easy to see and even in that picture, his hitai-ate was pulled over his left eye.
"Mmm," Kashi hummed. "They didn't get my good side."
The book dropped to the ground and Book Guy vanished into the trees.
"Hey, Ter! Shit!"
Kashi turned to look back at the other two guys. Naruto bounced on his toes, waiting to see Kashi do something really cool. Maybe one of his jutsus - Naruto didn't get to see them very often. He'd see Kashi do his mud wall a lot but not much more than that. Naruto couldn’t wait. He got to see Kashi do cool shinobi stuff!
“As I told you, I don’t want to kill you,” Kashi said. “But I will if I have to.”
Not even the wind tried to move. Everything was still and silent. The two guys stared at them, their eyes moving from Kashi to the guy that was still really still on the ground and then back again. Then Naruto blinked and they were running away.
“Hey,” he cried. “Kashi, you let them get away!”
Kashi hummed boredly. “Why not? They’re not going to bother us again.”
“But, but-”
Kashi pulled out his summoning scroll and Pakkun poofed into appearance.
“What’s going on Boss? Pup?”
“Hey, Pakkun,” Kashi’s eye crinkled. “Nothing to worry about, just a few bandits. Will you take Naruto down to the river? He’s a bit dirty. I’ll take care of this.”
“You got it. Come on, Pup.”
“But-” Pakkun’s teeth clamped onto the back of Naruto’s pants and he yanked. “Pakkun, stop!”
Behind them, Kashi huffed out something that kind of sounded like a laugh as he rolled the still man over. Kind of weird that the man hadn’t run off like the rest of his friends, but maybe Kashi had knocked him unconscious and they’d come back for him later.
Naruto stopped wriggling in Pakkun’s grip for a second. Kashi was still standing there, but his shoulders were a little stiff. The hand that held the kunai had a little shake to it before he tucked it away. Naruto frowned. Shinobi weren’t supposed to be tired. Kashi wasn’t supposed to be tired
Pakkun gave a particularly hard tug and Naruto almost fell over. “Hey, Pakkun! What’s the big idea?”
Meditation sucked. It was boring and done and it took forever. All he was supposed to do was sit still and do nothing. He couldn't listen to stories or even hum. He had to just sit there. And Kashi made him do it every single day.
"You have to learn how to focus," Kashi told him, waving to the big rock near the river's edge. "It'll help your chakra control and your reflexes."
"It'll make me fall asleep," Naruto whined.
Kashi just hummed and ruffled his hair. "Then you'll be well rested, won't you?"
Huffing, Naruto plopped himself down on the big rock with his arms crossed. At least up here he was taller. Kashi always made fun of him for being a "shrimp" but now Kashi was much smaller than him.
"I'm going down a little way to fish," Kashi told him. "Close your eyes."
Naruto glared at Kashi for a minute before he closed his eyes. The water rushed around him and Naruto really wanted to get in. It had been hot all day and even now that they were sitting in the shade, he was sweaty.
"Focus your breathing," Kashi reminded him.
Naruto gritted his teeth and pulled in a breath, held it for two seconds and then let it out for four seconds before he breathed in again. His butt hated him already. Naruto shifted, trying to keep it awake before it could fall asleep.
"Sit still, Naruto," Kashi called from a little further away.
Naruto scowled but kept his eyes closed. This was stupid. Stupid meditation. Stupid sitting still, stupid Kashi.
The water kept rushing until it started to turn into a kind of static in his ears. His body felt heavier, his limbs sinking into the rock. Maybe he really was falling asleep.
But then why was the air around him pulsing? It was like something big was trying to push up. Push through the air. Naruto's chest tightened in fear.
This had never happened before.
He opened his mouth to call to Kashi - something had to be wrong and Kashi would know how to fix it. But when Naruto's eyes snapped open all the sunlight was gone. And it was quiet. Too quiet.
The riverbank was gone. Kashi was gone.
The ground beneath him was cold, slick with puddles that glowed faintly under an eerie red light. Standing up, Naruto looked around. This had to be a trick. Kashi had to be somewhere. Maybe down the tunnel that stretched out in front of him.
The air kept humming. Heavy and angry.
Naruto swallowed. "Kashi?"
His voice bounced off the tunnel walls so loud that it was impossible to miss.
But Kashi didn't answer.
Naruto took a hesitant step forward. His foot splashed in water and the red glow pulsed, getting brighter as he walked toward it.
"Kashi?"
Still no answer.
Naruto's heartbeat pounded in his ears.
Everything felt so heavy and so full.
Something was waiting for him.
Naruto really wanted it to be Kashi but he knew it wasn't. Kashi didn't feel scary like this.
The tunnel opened into a huge space. It was bigger, bigger than any space Naruto had ever been in. He could see bars ahead, all of them gold that stretched from the watery floor all the way up into darkness, thick as trees.
Beyond the gold, something orange shifted and breathed. It was huge. Big as a mountain. The air crackled and Naruto took half a step back. It was too big.
Two giant crimson eyes snapped open.
Naruto froze.
A growl rumbled through the air like thunder. The watery ground beneath his feet shook and Naruto lost his balance. He landed on the ground with a splash. His breath caught in his throat as the giant orange thing uncurled and stood up.
"You." The voice rattled in Naruto's head. "The brat that dares call himself my jailor."
"J-Jailor?" Naruto whispered.
A claw, sharp, silver, and thick as a tree trunk, slammed against the bars. Naruto gasped, trying to scramble back but lost his balance and hit the ground again. The thing - a giant, angry looking fox, a monster - grinned down at him.
Naruto's throat felt too tight.
Jailor?
"I-I don't-" he stuttered.
"You don't even know, do you?" The fox laughed, a sound that cracked around him like a bad thunderstorm. Naruto wanted Kashi. "How deliciously pathetic ."
Pathetic? Naruto wasn't pathetic. He was the Fourth Hokage's son! He couldn't be pathetic. His father was the greatest Hokage of all time.
"I-I'm not pathetic!" Naruto clenched his fists. "And I'm not a jailor. And I don't even know who you are!"
The laughter stopped and the red eyes narrowed. "Who I am?"
Naruto swallowed.
"Let me tell you then, brat ." The beast leaned down, his muzzle inches from the golden bars. His lips curled into something horrible. "I am the Nine-Tails. The beast that almost destroyed the Leaf Village. I am the one who killed the Fourth Hokage ."
The Nine-Tails? Naruto had heard about it before, he thought. A long time ago a monster had attacked the Hidden Leaf Village. And killed the Fourth Hokage. Killed.
"You killed my dad?" Naruto whispered, something hot and angry burning in his chest.
The big fox laughed. "That's right. And you, brat, are my prison. The prison your father created. A wretched child cursed to keep their monster locked away."
Naruto's breath caught.
Monster. Cursed. Demon.
The villagers used to say that too. The ladies at the orphanage called him a little monster. The people who ran the clothes shop called him a demon.
Everyone used to whisper that they shouldn't be letting a thing like him run around the village.
A thing like him.
A jail for a monster.
Did that make Naruto a monster too?
Another heavy thud echoed as nine big tails slammed down on the floor behind the fox and it laughed again. Naruto didn't like the sound. It made his chest feel tight and it made it hard to breathe. And Naruto wanted Kashi
He wanted Kashi so bad.
The monster laughed louder.
"He'll hate you too," the fox said. "That silver haired brat. I killed the only people he had left in the world. It's only a matter of time before he resents you just like that village did."
No.
Kashi would never do that.
Kashi was nice, always nice.
It never hurt when Kashi touched him. Kashi never yelled.
Kashi would never hate him.
Never ever .
Right?
"It's only natural," the fox growled, its nose pressed tight to the bars, "for humans to hate a monster."
"Sh-shut up!" Naruto shouted. "Shut up! Shut up! I'm not listening to you! I'm not!"
His eyes burned. His chest ached.
He wanted out.
He wanted out.
He wanted out!
A cool, wet breeze splattered across his cheeks and Naruto's eyes snapped open. The world was bright around him, too bright. Naruto could still heal the fox laughing, deep and mean. He wanted it to stop.
Naruto wanted Kashi.
He wanted Kashi.
"Kashi!"
His legs didn't work right as he scrambled up and he slipped down, hitting the rocks hard. They dug into his side and legs but he ignored the pain. He wanted Kashi.
Kashi would know what to do.
"Kashi!"
Tears ran down Naruto's cheeks as he sprinted across the rocks. His chest hurt, like someone was clawing against it from the inside. Was that monster trying to get out?
If it did, would it hurt him?
Would it hurt Kashi?
"Kashi!"
Naruto hit something solid, stopping him dead in his tracks. Hands wrapped around his shoulders. Through his blurry vision, Naruto made out silver hair.
"Kashi! Kashi! Kashi!"
"Alright. Alright," Kashi was saying. He pulled Naruto into his chest, hand scratching at Naruto's scalp. "You're alright. I'm here."
"Kashi!"
Kashi's arms tightened. "It's alright, Naruto. It's alright. Just take a deep breath, alright? Breath with me."
He couldn't. His nose was all stuffy and he kept sobbing, digging his hands into Kashi's shirt. Kashi held him tight and put his head on top of Naruto's head.
"There you go, good job," Kashi said. "Keep taking deep breaths."
"K-Kashi," Naruto stuttered.
"It's alright."
"I'mm a-a-a m-monster!"
Kashi's whole body went rigid and he pulled back, both hands resting on Naruto's cheeks. His gloves were warm. "What?"
"I-I'mm a m-m-monster."
"Naruto," Kashi pulled him into a hug again. "Did you have a nightmare? I didn't think you'd actually fall asleep."
Naruto shook his head, his forehead nestled in Kashi's shoulder. "N-no. He said. He s-said."
"Who said?" Kashi sounded less tired than usual when he asked and more curious.
"The f-f-fox."
"Fox?" Naruto didn't like the way Kashi's voice sounded high and nervous.
Naruto nodded. "H-he said that he l-l-lives in me. N th-that's why everyb-body hates me."
Kashi pulled back, his eye wide with concern. It made Naruto's chest tighten even more. "Naruto, you saw the Nine-Tails?"
Nine-Tails? The fox said that's what it was, but how did Kashi know that?
Because he knew. Right, the whole village knew. That's why everyone hated him in the village.
Everyone but Kashi.
Another sob bubbled out of his chest. "You hate me!"
Kashi's hands tightened around Naruto for a minute, his eye wider than Naruto had ever seen it. Then Kashi scooped Naruto into his chest again, squeezing him so tight it was hard for Naruto to breath. "No," Kashi whispered. "Not you. Never you."
Kashi's shirt was scratchy against Naruto's hands as he held on as tight as he could. If he let go, Kashi might disappear. Naruto stayed curled against Kashi until he could breath again. Kashi scrubbed Naruto's cheeks for him, wiping away tears and snot.
"I'm sorry," Kashi whispered. His voice sounded… different. Like it ached. Naruto looked up, and Kashi’s eye looked sad.
Did I make Kashi sad?
"I didn't realize - I should have thought. I'm sorry, Naruto. I didn't mean for you to find out that way."
Naruto's eyes prickled with tears again. "S-so it's real? I am a m-monster?"
"No. Of course you aren't."
"But he said I was! N' all the villagers said I was too. They all hated me Kashi. Because I'm a monster."
Kashi stared at him for a long time. The only noise was the rushing water and Naruto's sniffles.
"No," Kashi finally said, reaching out to brush away some of Naruto's tears. "No, you're Naruto. You're. You're my kid. And you never have to be anything you don't want to be. So, if you don't want to be a monster, you won't be."
Naruto blinked. Kashi said it the same way he said "I know you can do it".
Like he wasn't lying.
Naruto wanted to believe him. He didn’t want to be a monster.
But what if Kashi was wrong? And the fox was right?
What if -
“Hey,” Kashi’s fingers tapped Naruto’s head softly. “I promise you, Naruto.”
Naruto sniffled but he breathed. Kashi never broke his promises.
Kashi told Naruto he didn’t have to meditate anymore and Naruto really didn’t want to meditate anymore. But he also thought he really had to go back in and see the fox again. The fox was grumpy and mean and scary. And Naruto shouldn’t want to go back to see him.
But he couldn’t stop thinking about the story from last night. Kashi tucked him into bed and started telling Naruto all about one of his old friends - Obito. Obito sounded really cool. He was happy and positive and he wanted to be Hokage just like Naruto.
“Obito’s my hero,” Kashi had whispered while Naruto curled up to him.
“Really?”
“Hmm. I wish I’d been nicer to him.”
“How come you weren’t?”
Kashi had gotten really quiet. He stared up at all the stars above them and just let the fire crackle.
“I was hurt. And I didn’t know what else to do. So I was just mean. I think a lot of people who are mean are just hurt.”
He sounded so sad. Sadder than Naruto ever wanted him to sound. He’d pressed himself closer to Kashi, squeezing him tightly. “You’re not mean now. You’re the nicest person ever, Kashi!”
Naruto peeked over at Kashi. He was still sleeping, an arm thrown over his eye to block out the sun, and Naruto probably shouldn’t try this without Kashi knowing but Kashi also didn’t really want him to talk to the fox.
The fox who was really, really mean.
Naruto sat still, letting his hands rest on his lap, and breathed in and out. The second time was better than the first. The heavy pulsing didn’t scare him like it did before and Naruto didn’t end up in the tunnel, he ended up right in front of the fox’s cage.
Red eyes snapped open.
“You again,” the fox growled. “What, one meeting wasn’t enough for you? Brat, if you think annoying me will earn you favor, you’re dumber than I thought.”
“What’s your name?”
A beat of silence.
Then, the fox scoffed, a slow, rumbling chuckle that didn’t sound friendly. “My name ?” he mocked. “What, hoping to tame me like some house pet? No. You don’t deserve to know it.”
Naruto huffed. “I can’t just call you ‘fox.’ So what’s your name?”
The fox ignored him.
“Mine’s Naruto Uzumaki! I’m gonna be a great ninja and then the Hokage too!”
The fox scoffed and dropped its muzzle onto its paws with an angry swish of its tails.
“Hey, your name! You gotta tell me your name!”
“I don’t have to tell you anything,” the fox snarled, baring its teeth at him.
Naruto stuck out his lower lip and glared at him. “Well, I can’t just call you fox.”
“What do you want?”
“I wanna know your name!”
The fox’s lip curled up further. Now he looked even meaner and Naruto didn’t think that was possible.
Naruto sighed, kicking at the water beneath his feet. “Kashi said that lots a time people who are mean are really just hurt. N’ so I figured, you must be hurting a lot, if you’re this mean. Are you lonely? It hurt a lot when I was lonely. We can be friends.”
The fox roared. “You pathetic, idiotic little child. I do not get lonely . I do not need a friend. Least of all a whiney little crybaby like you .”
Naruto blinked up at the fox. He was really, really mean.
Maybe even meaner than the villagers.
“Okay,” Naruto said. He forced himself to stare up at the tall creature looming over him. “We’ll be best friends!”
“Kurama.”
It was a grumpy growl interrupted Naruto’s rant. He paused, throwing himself up to look up at the fox. To look up Kurama . His red eyes peeked open at Naruto, his muzzle resting on his giant paws.
“Kurama?” Naruto echoed.
Kurama huffed. “I told you my name. Now leave me alone.”
Alone.
In this big, echoing room with nothing but bars and water. That sounded awful . At least at the village, where Naruto was alone, it was dry and warm. He wasn’t locked inside something or stuck with only the drip, drip, drip of water in the distance.
“Why would I do that?”
Kurama’s eyes narrowed in an angry glare. “Because I’m telling you to, you little brat!”
“Aw, Kurama,” Naruto whined, falling back into the water again. “But being alone is the worst .”
“Better than listening to you whine.”
“I’m not whining,” Naruto protested. “Kashi says its called venting .”
Kurama huffed angrily, his tails flicking sharply.
Naruto figured that was Kurama for “keep talking” .
Naruto's soft snores filled their small campsite. The fire crackled softly. Kakashi sat with his legs folded, elbows resting on his knees, and watched the dying firelight dance across the trees. Beside him, Naruto curled up on his sleeping mat, his small fingers tangled in the fabric of Kakashi's vest and Kakashi didn't have the heart to move him. Naruto had gotten more clingly lately, since he started talking to the fox.
Kakashi wished he could stop it. One of the very last things on the planet that Kakashi wanted was Naruto talking to that monster. But he had no one to blame but himself.
"He's hurt, like you were. That's why he's mean. But if I become his friend, he won't be so mean anymore."
Kakashi never should have told Naruto that stupid story. But the kid wanted to hear about more than just Minato and Kakashi couldn't help himself. He didn't live in a fantasy world. The Leaf Village had forgotten about the boy in the goggles that wanted to be Hokage a long time ago. And Obito deserved someone other than Friend-Killer Kakashi to hold onto his memory.
Exhaling slowly, Kakashi looked down at Naruto. His blond eyebrows furrowed as he snuggled himself closer, head burrowing against Kakashi's hip.
Kakashi should sleep. He should have been asleep hours ago. But every time he closed his eye, he heard Obito's shouts and Rin's giggles and Minato's soft voice.
They would have been better at this. At taking care of Naruto. At raising a child. Even as a kid, Kakashi had never been a kid. He'd always been a shinobi.
Should he be teaching Naruto how to be a shinobi?
It felt like setting his boy - his boy, his kid. When did that start? Naruto wasn't his. Not really. Naruto was Minato's - up for nothing other than heartbreak and numbness.
Was he failing Naruto already?
With another sigh, Kakashi pulled his hitai-ate off and rested it on his lap. The firelight glinted against the metal and Kakashi's fingers traced along the symbol that he'd scratched out.
What would his sensei think of him now?
Trying to raise a kid that deserved far better than him - an idiot shinobi with one foot above ground and one ready to join his father. Someone who only knew who to kill and disappear.
A missing-nin.
Shit. Minato would be so disappointed in him. Not only had he done it to himself but he'd done it to Naruto too.
But what else could he have done?
Left Naruto all alone?
Let the village torment and hate a child that was left behind to pay for his parents' decision?
Pulling his fingers away from the hitai-ite, Kakashi looked back out at the trees. He thought of Naruto's face earlier that day, the frustration when he looked up at Kakashi. The stubborn, childlike disappointment that Kakashi knew had nothing to do with training. It all had to do with him because Naruto wanted a hero and Kakashi was a disappointment.
Minato would have told Naruto something brilliant - something uplifting and kind. He would have smiled that bright smile and ruffled Naruto's hair and told him he'd get it next time. Because that's what Minato had always done for him, Rin, and Obito.
Kakashi had just tapped his head and told him to take a break.
Naruto shifted, his fingers digging deeper into Kakashi's vest for a moment before they loosened again. Kakashis' fingers twitched for a moment before he gave into the urge to card a hand through Naruto's hair, the way his father had once done for him.
Kakashi didn't remember much about his father, but he thought he might have done something like this. Most of Kakashi’s memories were a gravestone he stood in front of, muttering bitter words. Because he didn't understand back then why his father had turned his back on the village's rules.
Now he did. He understood the untamable urge to protect, village be damned.
But a new kind of confusion replaced the old. A new kind of hurt.
Because no matter how much agony Kakashi was in, no matter how heavy his chest was, no matter how much he hated himself; he could never imagine leaving Naruto alone.
Maybe he just didn't love me enough.
It wasn't the first time the thought crossed Kakashi's mind. He knew it wouldn't be the last either. It was always there, lingering at the very depths of his subconscious.
Naruto let out another snore. Kakashi's chest swelled with painful fondness.
"I'm trying, Sensei," he whispers, wondering if the wind would carry his words to Minato in the heavens. "I swear, I'm trying."
Notes:
Until next time, remember to stay healthy, stay sane, and stay safe out there!
Chapter 4: The Weight of a Name
Summary:
Naruto wants a home. Kakashi wants to be good enough to give him one.
Notes:
Thank you guys for all your support! We did a bit of a time jump for this chapter. Naruto is now 9
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The kunai whistled through the air and hit the center of the target. Maybe Naruto should start putting them in harder spots. He hadn't missed a target in well over a year and throwing them across the fire while he waited for the stew to finish was almost as boring as just sitting there. He glanced toward Kashi, slouched lazily against a fallen log as he flipped through one of his stupid books that he wouldn't let Naruto look at.
"What's wrong?" Kashi asked when Naruto stared at him for too long.
"It's cold out."
Kashi hummed. "I have an extra jacket in my bag."
Naruto bit down on his bottom lip and tried not to snap at Kashi. He knew it probably wasn't fair. Kashi probably didn't like this anymore than he did - sleeping on the ground every night, never knowing where they were going to be the next day. But he didn't act like he cared and that was what made Naruto so mad. Kashi never acted like anything bothered him.
Even when he woke up soaked in sweat some nights - hands and legs smacking Naruto as he tore himself out of sleep.
Even when Naruto rolled over some nights and saw Kashi sitting by the fire, staring into it like he was looking at nothing.
Even when he was limping after fighting with bandits and bounty hunters and random criminals.
Kashi had to hate it out here too. He had to.
"Why can't we stay at an inn?" Naruto demanded.
"Because the closest one is a four day walk." Kashi turned a page in his stupid book.
"Well can we go there next?"
"We'll see. It'll depend on who's in the area."
Naruto glared at him. "I want to sleep in a bed."
"I'll see what I can do."
"I want a home."
Kashi pulled in one of those slow breaths but didn't look up from his book. "You have a home."
Naruto threw another kunai at the target. It dug in far deeper than the last one. Kashi always said that: you have a home . But he didn't. Naruto didn't have a place to go back to time and time again. Neither of them did.
"I want a real home!" Naruto's voice came out sharper than he wanted it to. It echoed around them. But at least it got Kashi to look up at him. "A real home, Kashi! One with a bed and walls and a roof! One that doesn't move every week!"
Kashi's single dark eye studied him slowly with that unreadable, lazy expression. Silence followed, leaving only the crackling fire.
"Other kids get homes! Other kids get friends and have people that they don't have to leave all the time."
Kashi closed his book and sat up. "Naruto," he said softly. "Look, I know this is hard. But it isn't safe-"
"No!" Naruto jumped up, his fists clenched at his sides and his chest burning. "No! You always say that. You always say it isn't safe but you're supposed to make it safe!"
Kashi stilled but he didn't argue. And it made Naruto even angrier. Because if he wasn't with Kashi, he'd have a home. If he had his parents, he'd have a home.
"My real dad would keep me safe! He was strong and it wouldn't matter who was where. I'd get to stay and I'd get to have a home because he'd keep me safe! I want him!"
The fire crackled.
Naruto's heart pounded.
The words hung in the thick air and swirled around Naruto like a hurricane.
" Kit ," Kurama grumbled. It sounded like a warning. Which didn't make a lot of sense because Kurama didn't even like Kashi, so why did he care what Naruto said to him?
Kashi sat, book resting against his knee with an unreadable face. His knuckles turned white around his book spine for barely a second. Then his eye closed and he pulled in a deep breath.
"You're right," he agreed, eye crinkled in that stupid smile. But it didn't make Naruto angry. His chest felt heavy instead, like it did when he wanted to cry. "He was strong. And you should be proud to be his son, Naruto."
Naruto stared at him, waiting for more. Waiting for Kashi to get mad, to yell at him or tell him he was wrong. To tell him he was being ridiculous.
But that was it. Kashi picked his book up and went back to reading.
Naruto thought winning the argument would make him feel better. It didn’t.
He thought saying it out loud - he wanted his real dad, he wanted Kashi to be better - would fix things. It didn’t. If anything, it made him want to learn a time jutsu and go back to stop himself from saying anything.
Something tight wrapped around his chest and pulled.
What if Kashi hated him now?
What if Kashi decided Naruto wasn’t enough?
Why couldn’t they just talk?
Keeping one eye on Kashi, Naruto lowered himself back into his spot and threw another kunai toward the target. It buried itself beside the others.
“Nice throw,” Kashi muttered.
The fire crackled.
The ground crunched under Naruto's sandals as he launched himself forward and threw his first toward Kashi's stomach. Kashi sidestepped him without issue, leaving Naruto to stumble with the leftover momentum.
"A little too slow," Kashi told him, his voice a little more chipper than usual. "Don't favor yourself left foot so much. Your weight distribution is off."
Naruto gritted his teeth and tried again. His fingers barely grazed the edge of Kashi's vest before Kashi nudged his wrist away with two fingers. Two fingers. Like he wasn't even trying.
Naruto stumbled but caught himself, spinning on his heel and aiming to kick Kashi. With a single leap, Kashi was over him, waiting until Naruto spun again to poke him in the forehead.
"Don't get so frustrated, you'll get sloppy," Kashi said.
Naruto growled. He hated this. It wasn't training, it was just Kashi pointing out everything he did wrong.
"You always say I'm too slow," Naruto snapped, stomping his foot. "If you let me start ninjutsu, I could move faster!"
"That's not necessarily true. Taijutsu is important. One of the best shinobi I know rarely uses ninjutsu and he beat me plenty of times with just taijutsu."
"I don't care. I want to learn to do cool ninjutsu!"
Kashi sighed but his eye curved into an exasperated smile. "You need a solid foundation before you can start throwing chakra into everything. No point in learning something you wouldn't be able to use properly."
"That's stupid! My dad would let me learn it! You said he learned ninjutsu way younger than I am!"
Kashi paused, staring at Naruto for a pause before he shoved his hands in his pockets. "Times are different now. No one should learn ninjutsu this young. You're still just a child, Naruto."
"But-"
"Your father was a genius, but even geniuses train the basics first. If he skipped steps, he would’ve been weaker for it. Minato-sensei wouldn’t want that for you. You are doing a great job." Kashi's hand landed on his shoulder. "You are going to be a wonderful shinobi one day, Naruto. And I know taijutsu seems a little frustrating now, but you'll get it in no time."
Still too cheerful. Like he was saying things he didn't mean. Naruto hated it.
Kashi always believed in him. Didn't he? So why didn't he believe in Naruto now?
"Why don't we take a break?" Kashi suggested. "I'll see if I can find us something good, huh? And," he scratched at the back of his head, "I'll see if I can scout ahead and get a feel for the village too. Sound good?"
Naruto huffed. "Fine."
The second Kashi left, Naruto stomped away from the training ground, kicking at a loose rock before dropping onto the dirt. His fingers dug into the earth as frustration boiled under his skin. Kashi didn’t get it. He never got it. He acted like Naruto was still a little kid, like he couldn’t handle anything.
With a growl, Naruto squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself into meditation before he lost his temper completely. When he opened his eyes again, he was laying on the floor beside Kurama's cage. One day they'd figure out how to open it.
Kashi still wasn't sure about it. Every time Naruto talked about Kurama, he got all twitchy, which meant he didn't trust Kurama yet. But it'd been three years. If Kurama really wanted to do something to Naruto, he would have done it by now.
Besides, Kurama was his best friend. And Kashi didn't need to trust Kurama, he just needed to trust Naruto. It felt like Kashi trusted him a lot more when he was little.
Naruto groaned, throwing his arms over his eyes. The fox spirit barely cracked an eye at him, curled up beside the bars and trying to feign sleep.
"Do you ever feel like someone's lying, even when they say nice stuff?" Naruto asked.
"You're the only one I can talk to," Kurama pointed out gruffly.
"Oh, yeah." Naruto rolled his head to look up at the fox. "Kurama, can you teach me ninjutsu?"
Kurama snorted. His breath washed over Naruto and the water beneath him rippled. "Do I look like a ninja to you?"
Naruto huffed. "Kashi won't teach me."
"I heard."
"It's stupid."
Kurama chuckled.
Naruto shot up and glared at him. "What?"
"You humans are all idiots." Kurama laid his head down again, his tails swishing lightly. "Always in such a hurry to grow up and die."
"What's that mean?"
"Your human is right to start you with basic formations."
"You're taking Kashi's side?"
Kurama grumbled slightly. "I don't take the side of humans. I simply think he's making an intelligent decision. If you charge into battle throwing chakra around like an idiot, you're going to get yourself killed. And since I’m stuck with you, that means me too. I’d rather not die because of your impatience."
"We aren't going to die." Naruto rolled his eyes. "I've gotta become Hokage. Besides, even if we did get in trouble, Kashi would take care of it."
"Naruto," Kurama's tail swished. "Your human-"
"Kashi," Naruto corrected.
One day he'd get Kurama to call Kashi by his name instead of "your human" and he'd get Kashi to call Kurama his name instead of "the fox". It was going slowly but he'd get there.
Kurama let out a long sigh. "Fine. Kashi isn't a tailed beast or a jinchuuriki with unlimited chakra. He's a human."
"Well yeah, but so was my dad. And he was like the strongest person ever. Kashi said."
Kurama scoffed at him. "Bias."
"You're just mad that Dad locked you up."
"I am not!"
"Stay close."
Kashi's hand hovered close to Naruto's collar, the way it did when he thought he was going to have to snatch Naturo before he could run ahead. But Naruto definitely didn't plan to run ahead. He didn't really like the look of the mountain pass.
It was too quiet.
Naruto had spent enough time living on the road to know that the world was never actually silent. The wind should have whistled between rocky peaks and small animals should have rustled in the brush.
In the mountain pass, the air sat heavy. Eyes watched them, Naruto could feel the gazes burning against his back. Every hair on his neck stood up. He glanced up at Kashi. Apart from the hand hovering near Naruto's collar, he looked as laidback as usual.
"Remember the rules," Kashi said quietly.
Run when Kashi told him to run.
Stay still when Kashi said stay still.
Don't try to charge in and attack anyone.
"Copy Ninja Kakashi." A voice cut through the pass. Kashi stopped, his hand still lingering close to Naruto. "I thought you'd be taller."
A man stepped out onto the narrow path, head tilted slightly, like he was analyzing them. Above them, several shapes moved as at least five more men appeared.
Naruto's stomach churned. He inched a little closer to Kashi. There was no room to get around them, no matter how face they were.
"Maa, I get that a lot." Kashi's weight shifted a bit more, his voice light and cheerful with just an ounce of laziness. "Looks like you've got us at a disadvantage. Who might you be?"
"Oh, just someone looking for a payday." The leader tapped his kunai against his thigh. "And you, Friend-Killer, are worth quite a lot."
Naruto bristled. He hated that name. It was stupid. Kashi wasn't a friend killer, he didn't really have friends but that was way beside the point. Friend-Killer was for someone dark and evil. Kashi wasn't that.
He killed when he had to. But most of the time, he just let people go.
Kashi ignored the name with a lazy crinkle of his eye. "Well, I suppose that puts us all in an awkward position. I'm afraid I have no intention of dying today."
"Well," the leader said, "funny thing about that. I didn't really take your intentions into consideration."
A shadow flew over them. Kashi blocked the incoming blade with a kunai, twisting with the impact, and threw the man into the stone all beside them. Before Naruto could blink, Kashi had already moved. He flickered forward - one second standing still the next swinging a kunai right at the leader.
The steel sparkled under the sunlight.
Naruto scanned the cliffs, finding a good spot to tuck himself away like Kashi always told him to. Sometimes the biggest thing Naruto could do to help was stay out of the way. He pressed himself into the rock to watch.
The leader met Kashi's kunai with one of his own. Sparks burst from the collusion. Another Kashi - a Shadow Clone. Another jutsu Kashi wouldn't teach him yet - exploded from the dirt behind the leader. The clone grabbed the leader's arm, twisting at an unnatural angle until the man grunted in pain. And then poofed out of existence.
Naruto's hands clenched against the ledge's edge. The real leader dropped from above, a large sword swinging at Kashi's head. Red flared as Kashi ripped his hitai-ite off and jumped. He twisted as he did so, the blade slicing air where his shoulder had been.
Lightning crackled.
"Chidori!"
The man barely dodged in time. Kashi's lightning coated hand hissed past his ribs, tearing through his armor and leaving behind a deep, smoldering gash.
"Shit," the leader hissed. "Boys!"
Kunai rained down from above. Naruto's chest tightened, his breath catching as each one of them slammed into Kashi. Three shadows dropped down from above.
"Breathe," Kurama ordered in his head.
Another poof as the Kashi covered in blades vanished and the kunai clattered to the ground. The leader's smirk faded to a frown as he landed and began to look around.
The rock beneath his feet exploded as a hand shot up. "Headhunter jutsu."
The man's body buried into the dirt, only his head left above ground. Naruto scanned the battlefield, desperately searching for Kashi. He caught him in a flash of silver and gray, reappearing behind one of the other men. Lightning crackled. The man screamed and his body flew off the edge of the cliffside.
Naruto didn't watch it fall. He watched Kashi instead, standing lazily near the edge of the cliff. Red was splattered across his face and hair. It dripped down his arm as he looked at the two men left.
"I'd offer to let you leave," Kashi said, his voice still happy. "But I think we're a little past that, don't you?"
The bigger of the two left turned to the rat faced man beside him. "What the hell do we do?" he hissed. "No one said he was going to be this difficult."
"He's S-Rank," Ratface snapped. "What did you expect? Go find the kid. Maybe that'll-"
Naruto didn't like how quickly the fake happiness in Kashi's stance faded. Even with the bottom half of his face covered, Naruto could tell Kashi was frowning now. Or, maybe, snarling.
He didn't even see Kashi move. In a single blink, he'd landed between the two men with a small ball of blue light in his hand.
"Rasengan!"
The big guy didn't even have time to scream. Blood splashed through the air, raining down like a thunderstorm. Naruto gasped, turning away to swallow the vomit creeping up his throat.
"Don't you ever ," Kashi's voice growled, low and dangerous, "threaten my kid ."
"H-hey man," Ratface stumbled. "I didn't. We weren't gonna - Hey! I need a little help down-"
"Chidori!"
Ratface didn't get a chance to scream either. Naruto did though. A small guy with long hair and a kunai flickered behind Kashi. The steel whistled through the air. Kashi twisted but not enough. The kunai slashed through Kashi's jacket and red sparkled in the sunlight. Kashi staggered away, red leaking from between his fingertips.
"Not so tough now, are you?" Long Hair hissed.
Kashi took a step back, swaying. He squeezed his eyes shut and then only opened his gray eye.
"So it's true what they say," Long Hair said. "You can only keep that thing going for a little bit, huh? Stolen Sharingan isn't all that useful when it wrecks your chakra reserve."
"It was a gift," Kashi spit out.
"That so, Friend-Killer? Whaddya think, Daisuke?"
Another man dropped down, the earth rumbling under his feet. "Stop talking and finish the job."
Kashi pulled a kunai out of his pouch. "Naruto," his voice sounded weak and kind of watery. "Run."
No.
Naruto's hands curled into fists.
No, no, no.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
It was Kashi. And Kashi was trained by the best shinobi in the whole world. So that meant Kashi couldn't lose.
Naruto couldn't lose Kashi too.
He had to do something.
But what?
He didn't know any ninjutsu. He barely knew taijutsu. His breath spilled out, each one faster than the last as he watched the two men walk forward. Kashi brought his kunai up.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No!
"Kit. "
Naruto blinked hard and spun around. Water splashed beneath his feet as he turned to look up at Kurama. For the first time in a long time, he was sitting up. His tails swished furiously behind him, his red eyes boring into Naruto.
"Let me out," Kurama said.
"I don't know how!"
Kurama growled. "Unless you want him to die, let me out."
"Kurama, I don't know -"
"Then figure it out."
Naruto stared up at the gates. They were big and golden with a keyhole in the center of it and a seal over it. If he tore the seal off, would it give him the key?
Worth a try.
Clambering up the bars, he reached out to grab the paper seal. Behind the bars, Kurama paced.
"Hurry up."
"I'm trying!" Naruto's eyes burned with tears and he fumbled. His fingers brushed the seal and a hand grabbed his wrist.
Naruto started, looking up. Through his tears, it was hard to see anything other than blonde hair and a white coat that swayed without a breeze.
Kurama growled.
Naruto yanked his hand free.
"Stop." The blonde haired stranger said.
"I can't. I gotta help Kashi."
"Naruto," the man's voice was soft but urgent. "Look at me. You can't let the Nine-Tails-"
"Kurama," Naruto snapped. His fingers grabbed the seal. "His name is Kurama. And he's my friend!"
He ripped the seal off, but the doors didn't open. Kurama growled and threw himself into the doors. They shuddered. Backing up, Kurama rammed into them again.
"Naruto!" The blond man called. "You have to put the seal-"
Kurama flew into the gates and they burst open.
Blood burned his tongue.
It was a familiar taste but one he hadn't had in years. The last time Kakashi got thrown around enough to have blood in his mouth, he hadn't been Kakashi at all. He'd been Hound, a nameless ANBU assassin.
Now he remembered why he hated the taste so much. It flooded his mouth, thick and coppery. His breathing didn't do much to help. It made the blood shudder in his mouth, sticking to his tongue and teeth. He inched backward, kunai up as his gaze flickered back and forth between the two men advancing on them. The movement sent a sharp, searing pain through his ribs.
Broken. Definitely broken.
His grip on his kunai faltered, muscles screaming in protest. Even with his eye closed, his Sharingan pulsed from overuse. The world blurred around the edges.
His two remaining opponents circled around him like sharks. Their grins were just as sharp. He knew the look in their eyes. They thought they had him pinned. And maybe they did. His chakra was too low, his body too sluggish to keep dodging between his broken ribs and the blood still pouring from his wound.
That was fine. He just needed them to keep looking at him so Naruto had enough time to get away.
"Well, Kakashi of the Sharingan," one of them sneered, flipping a kunai between his fingers. "Ready to die?"
Kakashi let out a slow breath. Maybe this was it. Maybe he'd pushed his luck one fight too far. But at least Naruto could get away.
And he could do some more damage on the way out.
"I suppose that depends," Kakashi rasped, shifting his stance. "Which one of you wants to go first?"
They laughed. Kakashi swallowed, already calculating how many seconds he had left before his body gave out.
The air changed.
A pulse of something deep and powerful and ancient rolled through the mountain pass. Every strand of hair on Kakashi's body stood on edge. His attacks both stiffened, clearly sensing the same power as him.
A monstrous, suffocating wave of chakra. Thick and searing, hot as a wildfire. It pressed down on the battlefield like the weight of an ocean.
Like a beast taking its first breath.
No.
A low, guttural growl rumbled through the air. A shadow flew over Kakashi. Naruto landed in front of him with enough force to crack the ground beneath him.
No.
His small frame was wrapped in a flickering orange chakra and when he turned his head, Kakashi could see that Minato's happy blue eyes had turned a bright, bloody red. The orange chakra swirled and turned until it twisted itself into a fox, the chakra itself snarling. Alive.
No.
Kakashi's knees gave out and he hit the ground with a groan. It was lost beneath rock splintering as Naruto shot forward. Naruto moved fast. Faster than anyone Kakashi had ever seen, even the Yellow Flash of the Leaf.
A blur of red and orange ripped across the pass. With his Sharingan closed, it was impossible to keep track of. Kakashi didn't bother to try. He dragged himself back, away from the fray, until he could lean against the mountain wall to keep himself sitting up. Red followed him, smearing across the brown dust.
A sickening crack echoed through the pass. Kakashi was too much of a coward to look up.
He'd failed.
The fox had Naruto.
A single, terrified scream rippled in the thick air.
Kakashi never should have let him talk to the damn fox.
He'd failed Naruto.
Failed Minato.
Failed everyone.
Failure.
Failure.
Failure.
And wasn't that what Kakashi had always been?
When had he actually managed to save anyone?
Rocks clattered and dirt crunched beneath sandals. Kakashi's head felt like it weighed a ton. Everything did. Blood loss had slowed everything down and his chakra exhaustion dug into his muscles. The world tilted slightly.
He could see the blue of Naruto's sandals as they approached. The orange of the pants he insisted on buying, even when Kakashi tried to convince him to wear something less colorful. He forced his head to roll up so he could look at Naruto's face. A naive, hopeful part of him hoped he might be greeted by that laughing blue.
His eyes were so red. The whiskers across his face looked darker, more obvious.
Kashi.
I'm so sorry.
Kashi.
I tried. I promise.
The Nine-Tails stopped in front of him, glowing red eyes studying him closely. He must look pathetic. Covered in blood, barely able to keep his eye open.
Kashi.
Did he ever give Naruto a reason not to fall into the Nine-Tails trap?
Did he ever make the kid feel loved?
Even for a minute?
Kashi.
Sage, he hoped so. Kakashi had never loved anyone like he loved that kid. Even if he didn't deserve Naruto, didn't deserve the chance to love such a ray of sunshine.
Kashi.
The Nine-Tails lifted one small hand. Naruto's fingernails had grown out like claws.
Kashi.
I'm sorry.
Kashi.
I love you.
Kashi.
Instead of claws tearing into his flesh, a single finger tapped against his forehead. A warm pulse of chakra washed through him. The world righted itself again. His wounds didn't heal but the crushing exhaustion lifted and the pain dulled.
Kakashi's eyes snapped open, his mind whirling desperately.
Naruto's hand moved again. A flash of blue and silver. His hitai-ite dropped onto his bloody lap.
"Put that on," a deep, gravelly voice left Naruto's mouth. "You'll drain your chakra again and I'm not giving you anymore."
Kakashi's fingers shook as he picked the cloth up.
"Kit'll be out for a bit after this. It's a strain on his body."
Kakashi's heart stuttered.
Kit?
The Nine-Tails - the Demon Fox that destroyed the Leaf Village and killed Minato-sensei - had a nickname for Naruto?
"And stop making him cry," the fox grumbled, voice full of long-suffering fondness. It stole Kakashi's breath. "I'm the one that has to listen to him whine, you idiot."
The chakra vanished. Naruto's eyes flickered back to blue.
Kakashi's body screamed in protest as he forced himself to move, catching Naruto as he dropped in a dead faint.
"Naruto," he muttered, pulling the boy against his chest.
His body was warm, his breathing shallow but steady. Alive. Kakashi could have collapsed and curled over him in pure relief. Instead, he pushed out a shaking breath and pressed a kiss to Naruto's crown before he laid the boy down.
First aid first.
Once he had everything assessed, he'd have to get them moving. If backup was on the way, Kakashi didn't want to meet them.
Stop the bleeding first.
Stitches. He didn't count how many. It didn't matter. They were messy and hurried but they'd work.
Broken ribs.
Wrap them.
It would be uncomfortable, but he'd need the support to carry Naruto.
Right hand, a little burnt.
Between the rasengan and the chidori, he might have overdone it. But the burns were second degree. Bit of water, loose wrapping.
He checked Naruto over quickly, relieved to see the boy didn't have a single wound. Just the exhaustion then. The fox said it was a lot on him. Hopefully he just needed sleep.
Kakashi stood, locking his legs to stop his swaying, and hoisted Naruto onto his back. The weight and the tickle of Naruto's breath against Kakashi's neck were reassuring as Kakashi started down the pass. Every step sent pain lancing through his battered ribs, but he grit his teeth.
This was nothing.
Hound had been through worse. Much worse. And Hound had always been on his own.
Kakashi wasn't. He had a kid. His kid.
And a demon fox, apparently.
The mindless killing machine he'd seen in the Leaf Village nine years ago and the calm but exasperated spirit talking through Naruto didn't match up. How could that uncontrollable, mindless beast have saved them? And then gave Naruto back.
"His name is Kurama!" Naruto had told him excitedly years ago, when he'd finally gotten the fox to talk to him. "He's not mean, Kashi. Not really. He's just lonely. But we're gonna be best friends."
"Kurama, huh?" Kakashi muttered.
His right leg locked for a minute and he staggered. Naruto's weight on his back also tipped him over. He had gotten so much bigger. So much stronger.
Gone was the little four year old Kakashi used to be able to pick up with one hand.
Instead, he had a nine-year-old that had somehow managed to convince the Nine-Tails - Kurama - to help.
The thought was complicated and Kakashi didn't know what to do with it. He wasn't ready for Naruto to grow up. To have to see the horrors of the world. To have to take life the way Kakashi had when he was nine.
When Kakashi was nine, he was a killer. But when Kakashi was four, he was just a little boy that idolized his dad and ran home at the end of school.
Kakashi wanted Naruto to be four. To be a little kid that could idolize his father and run wild and free.
But Naruto was growing up and Kakashi couldn't stop that. Soon Naruto would have to be able to protect himself.
And he was clearly more than capable of that. If he could turn the Nine-Tails - Kurama - into an ally then maybe.
Maybe he'd be alright learning a little more than taijutsu.
Naruto's head shifted slightly and he nuzzled his nose against Kakashi's collarbone.
Kakashi's lips twitched into something close to a smile.
He had a damn good kid.
Maybe it was time to show him that.
Notes:
Yes, I know the Rasengan is a high level jutsu that demands a lot of chakra and Kakashi has notoriously bad chakra reserves. He also has notoriously bad self-preservation ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. That aside, I enjoyed writing this chapter. It was fun and I did really enjoy writing Kurama. He's a sassy little shithead but when he cares, he cares, ya know?
Until next time, remember to stay healthy, stay sane, and stay safe out there.
Chapter 5: The Hands That Hold
Summary:
There are three things that will always remain true:
1) Not all those who wander are lost.
2) There is no one Kakashi loves more than Naruto.
3) Kakashi Hatake is a fucking idiot.
Notes:
As always, I thank you guys so much for all of your wonderful and encouraging comments. I've had a lot of fun writing this AU, so I'm glad you've all enjoyed reading it!
We're picking up right where we left off for last chapter, putting Naruto at around age 9 for this chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Naruto floated. It was like drifting in warm water, weightless and comforting. The air around him was heavy, like a blanket, and it pulsed like a heartbeat. He opened his eyes, he'd much rather snuggle further into the pulsing warmth.
It shifted beneath him.
Naruto pulled his eyes open. He wished he hadn't because pain drummed dully in his head. The golden bars and dull glow of Kurama's space greeted him. From the corner of his eye, he saw fluffy orange. Blinking hard, Naruto tilted his head. He was laying on the fluffy orange.
"Kurama?"
"Hmm?" a soft rumble raced through the fluffy orange beneath him.
Naruto turned his head from where he lay - on Kurama's side - and met the bored red eyes of his fox. "My head hurts."
Kurama snorted. "Of course it does. My chakra rushed into you all at once. That's a lot of strain to deal with."
"Oh." That made sense. Kashi always said chakra was - "Kashi!"
Naruto shot up and regretted it immediately as the world spun. He moaned, his stomach doing somersaults, and flopped back onto Kurama's side.
"Don't move so much," Kurama complained. "I'm sore too, you know."
"Sorry," Naruto muttered, squeezing his eyes closed. "But, Kashi."
"The brat's alive."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
A relieved breath rushed out of Naruto's lungs. All of the tension leaked out of his shoulders and he sunk further into Kurama's warm fur. It felt nice to actually be able to touch Kurama. He'd spent so long stuck on the other side of those bars. Naruto probably could have fit between the bars but he'd always been afraid. What if he slipped behind the bars and they shrunk? Then he and Kurama would have been trapped.
If he'd known it was as simple as yanking off that stupid piece of paper.
Oh wait. That man with the blond hair and the white cloak. The man that told him to stop.
"Kurama?"
"Hmm?" Kurama sounded a little grumpier now. Maybe he was trying to sleep. He said he was tired.
"Who was that guy?"
"Hmm?"
"The guy in the white coat. He tried to stop me."
Kurama's ears flicked with annoyance. "The Fourth Hokage."
Naruto froze. His chest tightened. "Wh-what?"
The orange fur beneath him rose and fell in a heavy sigh. "The Fourth Hokage," Kurama repeated. "Your father."
Naruto's breath caught in his throat. He tried to push words out, so say something - anything - but only a small huff of air left.
"The idiot left a piece of himself inside the seal," Kurama huffed in irritation. "If you ever got close to breaking it, he was supposed to stop you."
"My dad?" Naruto echoed.
His dad. The brave man that Kashi told him all those stories about. He'd been right there. And Naruto had pushed him away.
Tears welled in his eyes. That was his one chance to get to see his dad and he'd thrown it away. And now he could never ask.
Are you proud of me?
Did you love me?
Beneath him, Kurama shifted. His head turned, nose inches away from Naruto. "Tch, don't waste time crying over some ghost," his fox said. "We did the right thing, Kit."
Sniffling, Naruto wiped at his eyes with his sleeve. "You think so?"
Kurama's tails flicked impatiently. His huff was exasperated but fond. "Hmph. We saved that idiot human of yours, didn't we?"
Kashi.
They'd saved Kashi.
A smile filled Naruto's face. "Yeah. We did. Thanks, Kurama. I knew you liked Kashi!"
Kurama hmphed again. "I don't like him. I just didn't want to listen to you whine if he died."
That was Kurama talk for "I like him a lot". Naruto's smile grew even bigger.
"Stop smiling like that and get some rest," Kurama ordered. "We'll both feel better when we wake up."
"Yeah. Night, Kurama." Naruto yawned, his eyelids suddenly too heavy to keep open.
"It's the middle of the day," Kurama huffed.
Naruto hummed. Beneath him, Kurama's chakra pulsed, steady and strong like a heartbeat. It felt like when he fell asleep on Kashi's chest - warm and safe.
Naruto's body felt heavy. His arms and legs wouldn't move right, even though he tried. Something warm was pressed against his chest, or maybe his chest was pressed against something warm. Strong arms were looped under his legs.
He was moving, bouncing really. Or someone was carrying him. A soft wind cut over his face and hair, It was cold and uncomfortable. Naruto moved his head, searching for something to block the cold gusts of air. He buried his nose in fabric that smelled like warm rain and home.
With a pleased hum, Naruto buried his nose further into the fabric.
"Welcome back," a tired voice muttered and the movement stopped.
Naruto forced his eyes to open again and he picked his head up just a bit. The world was dark and blurry. His head pounded, just as bad as when he was with Kurama. So his fox was a liar and Naruto was going to yell at Kurama for it later.
The arms under his legs shifted and Naruto's body moved upward slightly before he was steadied again. Blinking, Naruto turned his head to the side as he started moving again. He could see silver hair and a dark gray mask.
"Kashi?"
Kashi let out a small breath. "That's me."
Naruto blinked hard and forced one of his arms to move. He rubbed his eyes. Kashi's voice sounded weird. Tired. Or wet maybe. Like he was trying to talk with water in his mouth.
"Something wrong?" Naruto asked.
Another huff shook Kashi's body. "No," he said after a few, uneven steps. "You're awake. I'm just relieved."
Naruto wished his body would move so he could pull himself up and look at Kashi's eye. It was harder for Kashi to lie when Naruto could look at him. But his body was so slow and so heavy.
He buried his head against Kashi's neck again and closed his eyes. Kashi's breathing was funny, just like his voice. It was a little faster than normal and it sounded wet when he drew a breath in.
Otherwise, the world around them was peaceful. Bugs chirped happily. The air was crisp and smooth, maybe a little cold.
Naruto's eyes started to close slowly. He was so tired and his body was so heavy.
They tilted to the side suddenly. Naruto gasped, his eyes snapping open, and tightened his grip on Kashi's shoulders.
"Sorry," Kashi said. "Just. I just." His breathing was heavier and faster now. "I have to put you down now."
"Okay," Naruto agreed quickly. He slid off Kashi's back, his chest all tight again, and stared as Kashi leaned against the closest tree. "Are you okay?"
Kashi huffed weakly. "I'm fine, Naruto."
But his eye was squinted a little more than usual, the way it did when he called Pakkun or Shiba to keep watch for the night. So he was extra tired.
Naruto scowled up at him. "Liar."
Kashi's eye crinkled in a smile and he chuckled. His hand landed on Naruto's head and he ruffled Naruto's hair. It was warm and soft.
"Naruto," Kashi whispered. His eye was full of something soft and fond. "I am so proud of you."
Proud?
Of him?
Naruto stared up at Kashi, his eyes wide. His chest exploded into something warm. It spread through every part of him. "Yeah?"
Kashi nodded, ruffling his hair again. "Yeah. We'll camp here tonight. But, we'll find an inn tomorrow. Sound good?"
"Really?"
Kashi hummed softly.
An inn. With a real bed. Four walls and a roof.
"Thank you!" Naruto flew into Kashi's chest to hug him. "Thank you! Thank you!"
Kashi breathed sharply, but one of his arms looped around Naruto's shoulders. "Help me set up camp. We'll get some sleep."
The fire popped and crackled. Kashi still didn't stir.
Naruto pulled the warm cloth off his forehead and replaced it like the cool one, like Kurama told him to. Kashi's skin burned beneath his fingers, hotter than the stew bubbling over the fire.
Naruto nibbled at his bottom lip and pressed the back of his hand to Kashi's cheeks - that's what Kashi did when Naruto got sick. He'd put a hand on Naruto's forehead and then on his cheeks. Kashi would probably be mad when he woke up and found out Naruto pulled his mask down, but Kashi was panting, like it was hard to breathe. He really hoped that pulling the mask down would make it easier.
It hadn't.
Kashi was still panting, hard. Sweat dripped down his forehead and he didn't wake up no matter how many times Naruto shook his shoulders.
Naruto tried not to panic.
He was trying really, really hard not to panic.
Kashi always said panic only made things worse.
But, it was really hard. Kashi wouldn't wake up. He kept breathing short and sharp, like it hurt just to breathe in, and he was shaking like he was cold - even though Naruto had covered Kashi in both their blankets.
Maybe he was doing it wrong. Naruto always felt better when Kashi took care of him but Kashi didn't look like he was starting to feel better.
"You're doing fine, Kit." Kurama's voice rumbled through his mind, softer than usual.
Naruto sniffled and scrubbed a hand across his eyes. It came away wet. He shouldn't be crying. He had to be brave and strong like Kashi was.
"He's not waking up, Kurama." Naruto's voice shook and he swallowed hard. "Whadda I do?"
"Stop crying for start."
"I can't help it." Naruto sniffled. "B-but I'll try."
Kurama huffed. "Keep the rags cool. And take off one of the blankets."
"But he's cold."
"Fever means the body's too hot. Take one of the blankets off."
Naruto really didn't like the idea but Kurama sounded like he knew what he was talking about. He pulled the blanket off and folded it up neat - the way Kashi liked. Kashi kept making those shaky, uneven gasps.
Naruto really hated that sound.
"Kurama," Naruto whispered, his fingers clenching into fists. "Kashi's not gonna - He won't. He won't die, right?"
Kurama scoffed. "That idiot's too much of a pain in the ass to die."
Even though the words were kind of mean, Kurama didn't sound like he was being mean. He just sounded sure. Like he didn't doubt at all that Kashi was going to be just fine.
Scrubbing the tears away from his cheeks again, Naruto nodded. He reached up and adjusted the blanket around Kashi's shoulders. Then he touched Kashi's forehead and cheeks again.
Kashi did that a lot when Naruto was sick. Kept touching his cheeks and his forehead real soft.
"It's alright, Naruto," he'd whisper. "You'll feel better soon."
Kashi didn't have buck teeth or tiny lips. He didn't have a big scar either. Kashi's face was normal. Naruto should have felt disappointed - he'd been trying to see Kashi's face for years - but he just felt guilty. Kashi didn't tell him it was okay to take his mask off.
"It's helping him breathe better," Kurama rumbled. "The brat won't mind."
"Yeah," Naruto whispered. "Yeah, you won't mind, right Kashi? Kurama said you're too hot so we gotta cool you down. And your face feels real hot, so we gotta make sure your face cools down. Right?"
Kashi wheezed again.
Naruto wrapped his hand around Kashi's. It was limp and sweaty.
"Hey, Kashi, can you wake up? Just a little? Please?"
Kashi didn't move. His face looked a little redder, like his cheeks had gotten sunburned.
"You gotta wake up," Naruto told him. "We gotta go to the village so you can see a doctor. N' you said we'd stay at an inn, 'member? You promised."
Still nothing.
Behind him, the fire popped and then hissed. Naruto started at the noise and spun to see the stew bubbling over. He scrambled up, barely remembering to grab a towel to grab the pot handle with. Luckily, he didn't put out the fire. But the stew was probably a little too hot now.
Like Kashi was.
But that was okay.
The stew would cool down. And Naruto could just sit with Kashi until it did. He picked up Kashi's sweaty hand and squeezed it tight.
"'s okay, Kashi," Naruto promised. "You'll feel better soon."
There was an old saying for situations like this. Not all who wander are lost.
But Jiraiya definitely was. Not that he was going to admit that to anyone. He was a traveler. Was getting lost really a thing? Or was this just another adventure on the path of life?
His traitorous stomach told him he was lost.
There should have been a river not too far from him. He could hear the rushing water echoing off the trees and there was a river there was fish. Jiraiya wasn’t the biggest fan of river fish but he’d eat anything in a pinch.
There was a story in this. Maybe his next Icha Icha novel could be about a traveling hero, lost in the forest, who comes across a forest princess.
No.
The premise alone sounded boring. But he could always work in a forest scene somewhere. Nothing was more romantic than sex under the stars, after all.
The fresh smell of burning wood reached his nose. Campfire drifted on the light breeze. Jiraiya tried to bury his surprise. Someone was camping, all the way out here?
Bandits, maybe.
Or missing-nin.
Or maybe, if Jiraiya was lucky, a local who was passionate about camping way off trail and could point him in the right direction.
Sure the first two were more likely, and would make for a much for interesting story, but he deserved things to go easy sometimes. Right?
It didn’t take long for the smell of stew to mix with the campfire smoke. It carried on the wind, salty and maybe a little burnt, but nothing to shake a stick at. Especially if it meant he could steal a meal.
From a distance, it was easy to make out the camp. A flickering fire with one empty bed roll. A smaller figure moved around, from the fire to another bed roll with a still figure. A kid and a parent maybe.
That made the chances of it being locals a little better. But Jiraiya knew better than most that the size of a kid didn’t make them any less dangerous. Sakumo’s boy had barely been six when he became a chunnin, twelve a jonin. And then he’d been in the ANBU for five years, starting at thirteen.
Jiraiya tried to shake the kid from his mind, but it was hard. Every day for the last five years, his mind seemed to draw back to Kakashi Hatake. The very last person anyone would have suspected to commit treason. Since his father died, the kid had been more than a stickler for the rules. He’d followed them to a detriment.
But Jiraiya couldn’t help but think that it might have been for the best.
“A jinchuuriki is a tool for the village. It shouldn’t belong to any one clan.” Danzo’s voice from years ago never left him either. Jiraiya could still feel the rage bubbling under his skin. He could still feel the hand around his arm - Sensei’s or someone else’s - to keep him from lunging at the man.
It. That bastard dared to call Naruto “it”.
A child.
Minato’s child.
Jiraiya shook the thoughts from his head. That wasn’t what he needed to be concentrating on. What he needed to be concentrating on was that kid.
Size didn’t make the strength. Or the tactical abilities.
The kid didn’t seem to notice him as he approached, slinking through the shadows. His little figure had finally paused beside the person in the bedroll.
A sniffle floated toward him in the wind. Wet and honest and scared.
Jiraiya turned his nose up, searching for a scent and caught the sick rot of blood and infection. His gut twisted.
Well shit.
The kid’s gaze whipped toward him before he’d even stepped out of the shadows, his hands tightening around the hand of his limp companion. Harsh, ragged breaths filled the air. Against the firelight, it was hard to see much from a distance, but he could see the stark brilliant blond hair against orange.
Definitely not a shinobi then.
No one would wear a color that bright.
“Who’s there?” the kid’s voice was wet and high. Young and scared. “N’ don’t pretend like you’re not cause I know you are! Kurama said so!”
Kurama? Was that the panting figure in the bed roll?
“Well now,” Jiraiya said, stepping into the campsite. “That’s no way to greet someone. Didn’t-”
The kid moved fast. In a blink, he was on his feet and the steel of a kunai flashed against the firelight.
Okay then, not just some travelers.
Jiraiya’s hands shot up in a non threatening gesture. “Hey now,” he said soothingly. “That’s no way to greet someone trying to help.”
The firelight caught the young boy just right and Minato’s blue eyes flashed back at Jiraiya.
No. That wasn’t possible.
Jiraiya’s chest tightened and his eyes drifted down to the unconscious man on the bed roll. Silver hair with a hitai-ite pulled over his right eye. The Leaf's symbol had been crossed out.
It couldn't be.
The firelight made Kakashi’s skin look much paler than Juraiya remembered. Or maybe it was whatever sickness that wracked the man. Kakashi’s breaths were heavy, Jiraiya could see his chest heave from across the campsite, and his silver hair - Sakumo’s silver hair - stuck to his forehead with sweat.
It didn’t look like Kakashi. Not the five-year-old know-it-all that had lost his father. Not the stoic twelve-year-old that lost his teammate. Not the screaming, grieving thirteen-year-old that had been used as a tool for another’s suicide against his will.
But there was no mistaking that hair. No mistaking the way his hitai-ite covered his right eye - the right eye that had been a double edged sword of a gift. Even without his mask - Jiraiya only remembered seeing Kakashi without a mask as a toddler -, he knew that small birthmark on his chin. There was no mistaking Sakumo’s boy.
And if this was Sakumo’s boy that meant the blond boy - the boy with Minato’s blond hair - brandishing a kunai at him had to be -
The kid followed his gaze and let out a growl. It was feral and guttural. Like a wild animal that had been backed into a corner. Jiraiya should have been uncertain, nervous even, at the animalistic behavior. All he could feel was dejavu.
Because damn it all if Naruto didn't look like Minato when he was protecting Kakashi.
Naruto kept a tight grip on his kunai and his little hands shook violently. Jiraiya watches his chest rise and fall with quick, panicked breaths. His stance was surprisingly solid, weight distributed correctly - Of course it was. Kakashi's been taking care of the kid for five years. He had to have been training the kid. If anyone knew the dangers of the shinobi world, it was Kakashi. - but it was Naruto's eyes that held Jiraiya's attention.
He'd seen that look before - in those eyes even. A desperate, wild kind of fiery determination.
Minato crouched over a bloodied Kakashi - a five-year-old genin that Hiruzen had thought could go on a B-Rank mission - daring anyone, his own sensei included, to take another step.
"Alright, kid," Jiraiya said around a slow, even breath. "I'm not coming any closer."
Naruto didn't lower his kunai. Good. Kakashi was training him well then. Instead he glared up at Jiraiya, even as his chin wobbled.
"Listen, I get it," Jiraiya said. "You don't trust me and I'm not going to ask you to. But your friend there?" he nodded toward Kakashi, still gasping out those short, painful breaths. "He needs help. Fast . And unless you have another grown-up hidden in your back pocket, I'm all you've got."
Naruto's eyes watered for a second before he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head furiously. When he looked back at Jiraiya, his eyes were sharp but dry. "I don't need another grown up," Naruto snapped. "Kurama and I are taking care of him! I-I'm keeping all the rags cool. And I made stew. And I. I." His voice cracked.
Jiraiya dared to take a step forward and gestured toward Kakashi again. "Kurama? That what he told you to call him?"
"No. Kurama's my fox!"
"Fox?' Jiraiya's eyes snapped around, but the forest was still and silent apart from the running river nearby and the cicadas screeching their annoying tune.
Naruto's eyes widened for just a second before he took a step closer to Kakashi, like he'd given away vital information. A summon, maybe? But that didn't make sense. Kakashi's summons were dogs. Jiraiya still remembered the day the kid got his first one, fitting the little pug with a ridiculous blue vest. And at only four.
Sakumo had been so proud.
No. This wasn't a flashback scene to give the hero motivation. Jiraiya didn't need to remember Sakumo. He needed to help the boys.
"I know you're doing your best," Jiraiya said, keeping his tone soft. "I can see that. And you're doing a good job. But Naruto, I can help you and Kakashi."
Naruto sucked in a sharp breath. His little shoulders shook and his knuckles turned white around his kunai. "I didn't tell you our names."
"You didn't have to. I'd know those blue eyes anywhere, kid. You look just like your dad."
Naruto's resolve wavered for a moment. "Kashi says that too," he whispered.
Kashi.
The kid said it like it was second nature.
Kashi.
It'd been almost twenty years.
Jiraiya hadn't heard that name since Sakumo died. He and Minato had both tried to use it once or twice, to help bring the kid a little bit of comfort. Jiraiya had gotten a sharp and angry "don't call me that!" and Minato had gotten a bloody hand when he made the mistake of ruffling Kakashi's hair at the same time.
Kashi.
No one was allowed to call Kakashi that.
Jiraiya swallowed the lump in his throat. "Does he? He tell you about your dad?"
Naruto nodded. "Lots. N' his friends too."
Friends?
Kakashi didn't have friends as a kid. Just teammates.
Oh. Jiraiya nodded. "Rin and Obito."
Naruto lowered the kunai a fraction of an inch. "You know their names too?"
"I knew them well."
A harsh, wet cough ripped through Kakashi. In the dim light of the fire, Jiraiya saw droplets of spittle sparkle against Kakashi's lips and chin. He didn't open his eye, just gasped as a harsh shudder tore through him.
Naruto let out a whimper.
"Naruto," Jiraiya called, trying to keep the urgency out of his tone. It leaked through anyway. "Please. Let me help Kakashi."
The kid bit his bottom lip, glancing between Kakashi and Jiraiya. After a long minute, he pulled in a shaking breath and let it out.
"You can't hurt him," the kid said, his voice wobbling. "N' if you try I'll stop you. Kurama will help."
Jiraiya's heart cracked. "You got it, kid."
The kunai tumbled from Naruto's grip. Jiraiya fought the urge to ruffle the kid's hair on his way by and knelt beside Kakashi's trembling form. Heat radiated from Kakashi's skin, brushing against Jiraiya's palm before he even touched the boy - no, man. Kakashi was a man now. He'd grown up tall but wiry like his mother. Sakumo had always been broader, a man that could bulldoze through anything.
"Tell me what happened, Naruto," Jiraiya said, looking up. "When did Kakashi start to get sick?"
"I dunno," the kid whispered miserably. "He wouldn't wake up this morning n' he was all hot."
"Okay," Jiraiya said. "Tell me what happened yesterday. Was he acting funny?"
"No," Naruto shook his head. "But he got hurt when those guys attacked us."
Jiraiya's stomach twisted sharply. "Hurt? How? Where?"
Naruto pointed at his own side. "Somebody stabbed him when he was fighting. Kashi said it was all stitched up n' not to worry."
Idiot, Jiraiya didn't say. He didn't want Naruto to think the word was for him.
He yanked up Kakashi's shirt, gritting his teeth at the swath of red stained bandages around the boy's abdomen. It didn't take long to cut away Kakashi's shirt and the poorly wrapped bandages. The stitches beneath were haphazardly done - Tsunade would have a fit - and red flared out around the wound under the crust of yellow pus.
Infection.
Shit.
Jiraiya wasn't one for medical ninjutsu, but Tsunade had insisted he learn it if he was going to "be a homeless old pervert traveling around the world". Kakashi wouldn't be walking in the morning by any stretch of the imagination, but he wouldn't die.
After some poking and prodding, Jiraiya was confident in three things:
- He had an infection, at least three broken ribs, and some pretty severe chakra exhaustion.
- Jiraiya could fix the worst of those things.
- Kakashi Hatake was an idiot.
"What are you doing?" Naruto demanded as Jiraiya formed the hand signs Tsunade had drilled into him. The warm green glow of healing flared around his hands. "What's tha- oh."
Jiraiya glanced up at the boy. He'd thrown himself to the ground beside Jiraiya, half an inch from dragging him away from Kakashi. But Naruto cut himself off and scuttled over to play with the hitai-ite over Kakashi's right eye instead.
"Oh?" Jiraiya echoed.
"That's healing jutsu, right?" Naruto asked. "Kurama said you're healing Kashi."
That name again. Kurama.
"Kurama's my fox," Naruto had said.
Fox.
A fox that Jiraiya couldn't see but Naruto could hear.
Something sour and bitter began to build in Jiraiya's stomach. A terrible thought that latched onto his brain and refused to go away.
No.
It couldn't be.
Kakashi would have never let that happen.
Kakashi let out a whine. Jiraiya looked down. Some of the worst of the tension eased from Kakashi's face, his brow smoothing out. His breathing slowed to a more manageable pace. Beside him, Naruto straightened, peeking down at Kakashi's face.
Jiraiya let his chakra settle, leaning back. He could already feel a headache coming on.
"Na'ut?" Kakashi's left eye cracked open slightly and he let out a cough. "Na'ut?"
"Kashi!" Naruto cheered.
With a wince, Kakashi whined.
"Oh." Naruto's voice quieted immediately. "Sorry, Kashi."
"'kay?" There was just enough of an inflection for it to be a question.
"I'm fine," Naruto said. "Kurama said everything's safe so don't worry, kay? You sleep and we'll keep you safe."
Kakashi let out a small hum before his eye closed again.
"Thank you!"
Jiraiya almost fell over when Naruto launched himself at his chest. The kid clung to him, tiny hands curling into his vest like a lifeline.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Jiraiya’s throat tightened.
Shit.
He wasn’t ready for this.
But the kid was warm and small against his chest. Kakashi used to be that small too. .
Jiraiya sighed, ruffling the kid’s hair. “Yeah, yeah. You’re welcome, brat.”
Naruto pulled back, beaming. Jiraiya's throat tightened as a grinning Minato flashed through his mind. The kid really did look just like his father. Except in the cheeks. Minato had sharp cheekbones. Naruto's face was more round.
Like his mother's.
Blinking the nostalgia away, Jiraiya stood and cleared his throat. "Alright, I smell stew."
"Wait," Naruto blinked up at him with wide eyes, sitting himself up on his elbows. "You're the Pervy Sage?"
Jiraiya choked on his own spit. "What?"
Pervy Sage? How the hell had Naruto gotten that from Jiraiya telling the damn kid his name? Because if he got called "old man" one more time, he was going to dunk the kid in the river. So, when Naruto casually said, "night, old man," when he settled down in his bedroll to sleep, Jiraiya decided it was well past time to let the kid know exactly who he was. One of the three legendary Sanin. Legendary Toad Sage. The Gallant Jiraiya!
It didn't get him the response he expected.
Naruto's eyes shined, his lips pulling up in a grin that made him look more like Kushina than Minato for a moment. "You shoulda just told me that from the start! Kashi told me stories about you."
Jiraiya blinked, pointing at himself. "Me?" he echoed.
Naruto nodded furiously. "He said you were my dad's teacher and that sometimes you'd teach Kashi too. N' that you summoned toads. N' wrote books. N' that you were a pervert."
"Kakashi did?"
That little shit.
Naruto laughed. "Yeah. He said you peek over bathhouse walls. He said I was never supposed to do anything like that. Or I'd get beat up real bad. N' I’d deserve it."
"I-He," Jiraiya tripped over his own tongue. "It's for research."
How was he supposed to write without inspiration and research? Last Jiraiya knew, Kakashi read his books. How did the brat expect him to write more without research?
Naruto snickered.
Jiraiya opened his mouth to tell the little brat to shut it, because one day he'd understand, when a sharp whimper cut through the air. Blankets rustled. Jiraiya turned to look at Kakashi and Naruto scrambled up to his knees.
Kakashi's feet kicked a few more times before he stilled, the blanket pooled down around his waist instead of his chest. Jiraiya's muscles relaxed. Just hot then. That was good. Kakashi's fever was still high enough that delirium was a real possibility and Jiraiya didn't want Naruto to see that.
The kid clearly idolized Kakashi. All he'd talked about through dinner was Kashi this and Kashi that. Kashi was teaching him taijutsu because he was still too young for ninjutsu. Naruto didn't think he was too young, but Kashi said and Kashi was the smartest man in the world.
It warmed Jiraiya's chest. To think that lonely little thirteen-year-old, the boy who tried to shut off all emotions and become a perfect tool to be used and abused by the village, had inspired this kind of love. It was all he'd ever wanted for Kakashi.
And all he'd ever wanted for Naruto.
Jiraiya probably should have done it himself, taken Naruto away from the village. But the road was no place for a baby. And Jiraiya couldn't stay in that village. He loved the Hidden Leaf. It had always been his home and Jiraiya would defend it until the day he died. But it was too painful to stay.
Another whimper pulled Jiraiya out of his musings. Kakashi's fingers twitched and his breathing hitched. His head snapped to the side.
Shit.
"Kashi?" Naruto whispered as Kakashi whimpered.
"He's alright," Jiraiya assured the boy. "Probably just a nightmare. Get some sleep, Naruto. I'll sit up with-"
"No." Kakashi shifted, hands fisting in his blanket. His face scrunched up in pain. "No. D'n wan'."
"It's alright," Jiraiya pushed Naruto back onto his bedroll. "I'll take care of him. You just-"
"Ple'," Kakashi slurred, shaking his head. His lone gray eye glinted in the firelight as it cracked up, staring glossily up at the sky. "D'n wan id."
Every muscle in Jiraiya's body tensed for a moment.
Don't want it.
"I don't want it!" Kakashi screamed, throwing himself against Minato's arms, desperately trying to get to the kunai. "I don't want it! I don't want it! Please! No! No!"
"I know," Minato whispered, pinning the boy against his chest.
The bed shuddered underneath them. Jiraiya snatched the kunai away and deposited it out the window as soon as he could.
"No!" Kakashi flailed harder. "No! I don't want it! I don't want it! Please! Please! Get it out!"
"I'm sorry." Minato's voice was thick with tears. "I'm so sorry."
Stop apologizing , Jiraiya wanted to tell him. It isn't helping anyone. The kid doesn't need to hear you’re sorry.
But he couldn't say that. It was easy to forget how young Minato was. Not even twenty-three and already a war hero. They wanted to make the kid Hokage.
Not even twenty-three and almost all his students were dead. The only one he had left was thrashing against him, trying desperately to cut out his own eye - no, Obito's eye, as Kakashi kept screaming. It was Obito's eye.
The Sharingan was a gift and a curse. But Jiraiya doubted Obito truly realized what he was doing when he gave it away. Kakashi wasn't an Uchiha. He had no way to turn the thing off. It ran all day, everyday. And it recorded everything.
Kakashi never forgot.
Anything.
"Please! I don't want it! Please. Please. Please. I'm sorry!"
"Rin!"
Jiraiya knew her name was coming before it left Kakashi's lips. He sighed, settling himself beside the thrashing boy - man, Kakashi was a man now - and grabbed a cool cloth.
"Alright, Kakashi," Jiraiya whispered. He pressed the cloth against Kakashi's burning forehead. "You're alright."
"Ple'," Kakashi's voice was wet and choked. "Ou'."
"Shh. You're alright, Kakashi. Just go back to sleep."
Minato would have been better at this. Jiraiya's young student had always been a bit of a bleeding heart, regardless of how ruthless he was in battle. Most people thought of the Yellow Flash of the Leaf - the Flee on Sight Shinobi - and imagined blood and kunai. Jiraiya always remembered Minato wrapping a catatonic Kakashi up in blankets, rocking him softly on the floor, and humming as Kushina did her best to clean away Sakumo's blood.
A glossy silver eye found him, seeing through him and searching all the same. Vaguely, wiping sweat away from Kakashi's cheeks, Jiraiya wondered what he was seeing. He'd quieted down and stared at Jiraiya.
"Dad?" The whisper was soft, almost lost under the crackle of the fire.
Jiraiya froze and focused on the far away look in Kakashi's eye. So distant and glossy but not confused. Instead, he looked up at Jiraiya as though he were the Sage himself. It was the white hair, Jiraiya assumed. In the firelight, it must look close enough to silver.
"Go back to sleep, Pup." That was what Sakumo would have whispered back. "Close that eye."
Kakashi blinked slowly for a minute. Then he closed his eye. His breathing evened, still a little too fast for Jiraiya's liking. But at least it looked like he was falling back to sleep.
"Oh, kid." Jiraiya swiped more sweat away from Kakashi's brow.
Footsteps crept toward him. "Pervy Sage?" Naruto whispered, his voice watery.
Jiraiya sighed. He really was going to get Kakashi back for that. "It's Jiraiya, kid."
Naruto sat down beside him. In the dim firelight, teartracks sparkled on his face. "Is Kashi okay?"
"He’ll be fine, kid. High fevers cause nightmares sometimes. Nothing to worry about."
Naruto sniffled.
"Tell me your story, kid," Jiraya said.
"My story?" Naruto echoed, his voice still teary.
"Well, I'm not asking Kakashi," Jiraya teased. Naruto didn't rise to the bait. "Come on. I want to hear how you and Kakashi traveled together. Maybe I'll write a book about it."
Naruto shifted and swiped at his eyes. "Okay," he whispered.
Jiraiya dipped his cloth into the cool water and rung it out to dab at Kakashi's warm face again, settling himself in for a long story.
Notes:
Yay Jiraiya! He's honestly one of the hardest characters to write for me, so I hope I at least did him justice. I figure, the canon compares Sakumo to the Sannin so much that I'd just slap in my own canon of them being good friends, because why not? I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
Until next time, remember to stay healthy, stay sane, and stay safe out there!
Chapter 6: The Man Who Stays
Summary:
Kurama and Jiraiya force Naruto to face some hard truths. Kakashi has self-eestem issues, but Naruto loves him anyway.
Notes:
I am once again here to thank you all for your comments and encouragement. They mean the world! I know my upload schedule is a little lackluster, but I'm glad there are so many people who are enjoying this story as much as I am.
This chapter covers a couple of months to a year, picking up where we left off. So Naruto is 9 at the start of the chapter and 10 by the end.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The first thing Kakashi felt was pain. A dull, persistent throb drumming up and down his side. Then he feels the stiffness of bandages wrapped around his torso and the faint tug of stitches pulling with every breath. Cool air brushed against his overheated skin.
So, he was hurt.
And sick?
No, infection.
He was hurt and had an infection. Or, what was left of an infection. Kakashi's brain felt too clear for him to still be in the throes of it.
Naruto must have done a good job then. Teaching him first aid had been the right -
Naruto.
Kakashi's eye shot opened. Sunlight blinded him but he pushed himself up. The world spun around him so sharply that vomit bubbled in his throat. Black spots dance across his vision.
Forcing a slow breath out, Kakashi kept his eyes squeezed shut until the world stopped spinning.
He couldn't be far.
If someone had taken Naruto, they wouldn't have left Kakashi alive. And Naruto knew not to stay too far. Especially after the ambush.
And.
And Naruto had the Nine-Tails - Kurama. Naruto had Kurama.
Don't panic.
The nausea faded slowly and Kakashi managed to swallow. His senses floated back to him one at a time. Sight first. A still smoldering fire. Naruto's bedroll was messy, as always. There was an extra pack.
Kakashi stared at it.
That didn't belong but the scent that clung to it was familiar. And stronger than it normally was under his -
Shit. Kakashi brought a shaky hand up to his face.
His mask was gone. Naruto must have taken it off during his fever.
Smart kid. Though, Kakashi felt more naked now than he had in years.
He shoved the thought aside. A mask could wait.
Where was his kid?
By some miracle, his strength returned next and Kakashi managed to heave himself up. The sound of rushing river echoed from a close by.
No doubt he'd find Naruto there. The kid loved meditating and training by the river.
Luck was on Kakashi's side. The forest was thick, trees close enough that he could use them to support his slow walk down to the river. The river's cool breeze floated across his skin and Kakashi was grateful for it. Sweating might give off the impression of weakness and Kakashi couldn't afford that.
He could feel another chakra near Naruto's. It was strong, overwhelmingly strong. He could feel his hackles rise, muscles tightening painfully.
He knew that scent.
Why did he know that fucking scent?
He saw the orange first. The brilliant orange of Naruto's jacket and then the bright yellow of his hair, brighter than the sun itself.
And then white. Not the rushing rapids or the sun bleach boulders.
Kakashi's legs nearly gave out. He'd never been more grateful for trees.
Jiraiya.
Shit.
Kakashi was in no shape to take on one of the legendary Sannin.
His mind whirled, trying to come up with a plan. Something, anything.
A shadow clone was pointless. He didn't have the chakra for that.
Genjutsu? Ha. Even if he thought it would work on Jiraiya - he didn't -, he didn't have the chakra for that either.
He could create a distraction and tell Naruto to run, but what was the point?
Besides, Jiraiya seemed far more interested in calling out instructions to fix the boy's stance than in taking him anywhere.
The realization sent Kakashi's mind stumbling to a halt.
Naruto stood by the river's edge, barefoot, with his knees bent. His arms moved in precise, deliberate katas and his breathing was controlled. Jiraiya sat on one of the stark white boulders, smirking as he called out corrections.
Jiraiya had always been one to do what amused him but he was still a Leaf shinobi.
Why hadn't he dragged Naruto back yet?
Why hadn't he killed Kakashi?
"Kashi!"
Kakashi blinked hard, forcing his mind back just in time to catch the bundle of orange and yellow and energy as Naruto crashed into his chest. Kakashi caught him with a wince but suppressed his whimper as pain shot up and down his torso. They stumbled back into one of the trees, a mess of limbs as Naruto latches onto Kakashi.
His kid is warm against Kakashi's chest. For the first time since he woke, Kakashi breathed.
"You're awake!" Naruto beamed up at him, blue eyes bright. "I was real worried for a bit. But Kurama said you're too much of a pain in the ass to die."
Kakashi huffed out a laugh as best he could. He had a front to put on. He couldn't let Jiraiya know how bad off he still was. "That's comforting."
His voice was rougher than he expected, scraping against his chest.
Naruto laughed, burying his head in Kakashi's chest again. The boy was so relaxed, not an ounce of tension in him.
Kakashi's gaze flickered back to Jiraiya. The older man watched him with an expression Kakashi couldn't quite read, that smirk still playing at his lips. Was it smug? Knowing?
Either way, Kakashi hated it.
"Kakashi," Jiraiya drawled.
Against his will, Kakashi's arms tightened around Naruto's shoulders, braced to pull his kid behind him the moment the Sannin moved.
Naruto pulled away, ducking under Kakashi's hold to beam at Jiraiya. "Told ya, didn't I, Pervy Sage? You said Kashi'd be out a whole week but it was only a couple of days."
"I keep telling you to call me Jiraiya!"
Naruto tapped his chin, feigning innocence. "Naw."
Jiraiya huffed out his nose but it seemed... good natured?
Kakashi's head hurt.
He blinked and Jiraiya was in front of them. Kakashi's hand found Naruto's jacket, fingers digging into the fabric.
"You should sit," Jiraiya told Kakashi, looking straight over Naruto's head. "You're paler than a ghost, kid. And your cheeks are redder than a virgin's."
"What's a virgin?" Naruto asked.
Kakashi froze, blinking down at the nine-year-old. Naruto stared back at him with curious eyes, bluer than the sky.
Naruto was too young to know about sex, right?
Kakashi had known about it when he was seven, but most kids didn't. Kakashi knew about everything far younger than most kids were supposed to.
Jiraiya laughed, burying a hand in Naruto's hair. "I'm sure Kashi will explain it to you later. Right now, you have katas to finish."
"Do I have to?" Naruto asked. "Kashi's up now."
"You want me to teach you or don't you?" the Sannin fired back.
Kakashi's head spun. His fingers lost their grip on Naruto's jacket as Naruto made his way back toward the rocks, grumbling. The sudden tug was enough to set Kakashi off balance and he might have face planted if Jiraiya didn't catch his arms.
"Easy," Jiraiya said. "Come on, let's sit you down."
It didn't make any sense. Jiraiya was a Leaf shinobi and Kakashi was a traitor to the Leaf. Why was Jiraiya lowering him to the ground? Why was Jiraiya offering him water?
"-shi. Kakashi," Jiraiya said firmly. "Come on, just a few sips. You're dehydrated."
The water skin was pressed against his lips. Fresh, cool liquid touched his tongue and he suddenly realized just how thirsty he was.
"There ya go, kid," Jiraiya praised when Kakashi finally leaned his head back.
His tongue darted out, catching a few droplets of water when they spilled down his chin.
"How are you feeling?" Jiraiya asked, reaching a hand toward Kakashi's forehead.
He flinched automatically and Jiraiya froze, hand hovering awkwardly between them. Kakashi cursed himself for the show of weakness. Though, Jiraiya looked far less smug about it than any Leaf shinobi would.
If anything, the Sannin looked sad.
"I just need to check your temperature," Jiraiya explained, voice quiet and patient.
A familiar tone. Jiraiya used it with him a lot when he was a kid, especially after his father died. Still, Kakashi couldn't force his body to relax. Jiraiya kept those sad eyes on him.
It made Kakashi want to scream.
"I'm not here to take him back," Jiraiya finally said.
Kakashi's breath caught. He bit down on his bottom lip, wishing he had his mask to help disguise the surprise he knew took over his face.
"Kakashi, if I wanted to take the kid back, do you really think I would have waited around for you to wake up?"
That was... a fair point.
Kakashi's brow pinched as he tried to turn the logic in his mind.
Jiraiya sighed. "We'll just say the fever scrambled your brain."
His calloused palm touched Kakashi's forehead and Kakashi flinched again. It wasn't enough to get Jiraiya's hand away. At least his palm was cool.
"You did good, Pup."
Kakashi's head snapped up so fast his world started to spin again. The black spots danced through him and Jiraiya's hands clasped his shoulders, holding him up right. Kakashi's throat felt tight, his chest heaved.
Pup.
Dad used to call him that.
Just like Dad used to call him Kashi.
By the time Kakashi managed to breathe again, Naruto had finished his katas and moved on to practice taijutsu against a shadow clone Jiraiya sent out.
"I committed treason," Kakashi whispered, though he couldn't find the energy to sound ashamed of it.
"And your father would be proud of you for it. I damn sure am." There wasn't a stitch of mistruth in Jiraiya's eyes. "Shit, I probably should have done it myself." His shoulder slumped slightly. "Naruto told me about the village. I still can't believe Sensei let that happen."
"What's good for the village," Kakashi muttered and he managed a little bit of bitterness that time.
Jiraiya makes a noise of bitter agreement.
"I couldn't," it was the fever, Kakashi told himself. The fever was the reason he was still talking. "I couldn't let him." His hands curled into fists. "He isn't just some, some tool. To be. I couldn't let him be-"
Be me. Broken. Useless. Used.
"I know," Jiraiya whispered. "And Minato isn't here to say it, so I will. Thank you, Kakashi."
Jiraiya squeezed his shoulders.
Something lifted from Kakashi. A heaviness he hadn't realized had been nestled in his chest. Breathing is a little easier.
"He's a good kid," Jiraiya said, fondness in his voice.
Kakashi's left felt like more of a scuff. "He's got good genetics."
Jiraiya cuffed him gently on the back of the head. It was an old gesture, soft but firm. One he'd known all his childhood. "Genetics don't teach love and loyalty. You did. You think if you'd left him in the village he'd be this happy? This strong?"
"Minato-sensei was strong. And happy."
"He didn't pop out of the womb like that, you stubborn idiot. He had people who cared about him. Me. Kushina." He nodded toward Naruto. "And his kid has you."
He always will, Kakashi didn't say.
Jiraiya squeezed his shoulder as though he had. "We do have one more thing to talk about."
"Hmm?"
"The Nine-Tails."
"Oh?" Kakashi did his best to feign innocence. "What about him?"
Jiraiya leveled him with a look of parental annoyance he hadn't seen in nearly twenty years. "Well, we can start with the fact that Naruto broke the seal."
"Suppose he did."
"And released the Nine-Tails."
"Kurama."
Jiraiya raised an eyebrow at him.
Kakashi shrugged. "He saved my life. Seems like the least I can do is use his name."
"So the kid was telling the truth?"
Kakashi hummed. "Killed the last two opponents. Healed my chakra exhaustion."
"He can do that."
"So it would seem." Kakashi shrugged.
Jiraiya huffed. "You're telling me that the kid unsealed a demon fox and it decided to save his dad?"
"Not his dad," Kakashi corrected. Technically, he was Naruto's kidnapper if anything. "But, yeah. Apparently, they're friends now."
"Friends," Jiraiya echoed with a hint of disbelief.
Kakashi echoed the sentiment. "He's got a way with words."
"I'll say. He's got his Kashi wrapped around his finger."
"No, he doesn't."
Jiraiya laughed. "That kid's something special, huh?"
Kakashi watched Naruto duck under a kick from Jiraya's shadow clone. Warmth blossomed in his chest. It felt like pride. "I think so."
"Well then," Jiraiya leaned back on his hands. "Guess that means we have to train him right."
"We?"
"You didn't think I'd let you have all the fun, did you?"
The Shadow Clone poofed out of existence. Naruto turned toward them, sweaty and grinning.
"Let's get lunch!" Jiraiya called.
"Lunch?" Kakashi echoed.
Was it that late in the day already?
"Great!" Naruto scrambled over to them with a grin. "I'm starving."
"Well, help your old man up," Jiraiya ordered, gesturing toward Kakashi. "And I'll get us some lunch started."
"Great!" Naruto offered Kakashi a small hand.
Between the tree and Naruto for support, Kakashi managed to struggle to his feet. Jiraiya waited for Kakashi to take an unsteady step forward before he turned to make his way back to camp.
"Hey, Kashi?"
"Hmm?"
"What's a virgin?"
Jiraiya howled with laughter as Kakashi sputtered. He wasn't sure what he was being punished for, but it felt like something.
Naruto's clone exploded.
It was supposed to do that, Pervy Sage had been teaching him how to make Gale Clones for months. The whole point of them was to explode into sharp winds when they dissipated. But he'd never done it before. Not like this.
It happened so fast, he barely had time to react. One second, it was bounding around Kashi for a spar, the next Kashi had hit it hard enough to disappear and BOOM. A surge of wind ripped through the clearing like a tornado. Dust filled the air and tree branches snapped, leaves flying everywhere.
Naruto dug his heels into the ground, the winds shoving him back several yards. Kashi caught the brunt of it, flying into a tree with a deafening crack.
"Too much chakra," Kurama grumbled.
"Kashi!" Naruto shouted, scrambling over.
Kashi let out a cough, one arm wrapping around his ribs, and let his head fall back against the tree. His hitai-ate had blown up slightly and Naruto could barely see a sliver of his red eye. Each one of Kashi's breaths were a little sharper than they were supposed to be.
"Sorry." Naruto dropped to his knees, reaching out to help but then paused before he could make it worse. "Sorry, I didn't mean to."
"It's al-right," Kashi muttered, a pained smile crossing his lips. "That's amazing, Naruto."
"I hurt you," Naruto whispered.
"That hap-pens in sparring." Kashi's breath hitched. "Just a few broken ribs."
"Pervy Sage says that's bad."
Kashi chuckled and then winced. "Don't listen to him. But, we mi-ght need to take a br-eak."
"I'm sorry," Naruto said again, shame curling in his stomach.
"Too soft," Kurama huffed. "He said he was fine."
"But, I hurt him. I hurt Kashi!"
Kurama growled in the back of his mind. "Are you going to whine about this for the rest of the day?"
"I hurt Kashi!"
"You might need to help me up," Kashi panted, leaning further back into the tree.
“Fine," Kurama huffed. "Let me in. I'll take care of it."
"Huh?"
Kurama let out a long sigh. "Give me control of your body."
“Oh. Okay!"
Letting Kurama take over his body was weird. Naruto had only done it a couple of times - when Kashi was in trouble, right before they met Pervy Sage, and when he had to carry Kashi to camp. They didn't do it very often cause Kurama "didn't want to have to put up with humans". He liked it better when he could just watch the world through Naruto - but every time he floated and watched his own body do stuff.
Kashi started, eye widening. Kurama said that Naruto's eyes went red when they switched places, so Kashi must have been surprised. Or, scared maybe? There was something more than surprised in Kashi’s eye and his whole body went really tense. Maybe he should have told Kashi that he was going to let Kurama take over.
"What are you-?" Kashi's voice shook a little. He winced and let out a long breath. "I-is Naruto o-kay?"
Kurama hummed. "Kit's fine. But if I had to listen to him whine for the rest of the day about how he "hurt Kashi", I'd go crazy."
Kashi blinked. He looked kinda surprised. Which was dumb. Of course Naruto didn't want to hurt Kashi. No one should ever hurt Kashi.
Kurama must have thought so too because he grumbled under his breath. Naruto watched his own finger come up - when Kurama took over, his nails got all long, like claws. It looked pretty cool - and poke Kashi on the head. It lingered for a minute.
All around Naruto, he could feel pulsing. Orange flared up - Kurama's chakra. Naruto knew it well. It was warm and protective. It always wrapped around him and beat steady like a heartbeat - and through Kurama's eyes, Naruto could see the orange travel out his finger and into Kashi's forehead.
Some of the tension in Kashi's shoulders loosened and his fingers let go of his ribs. "What is that?" Kashi breathed. "You did that before."
Kurama huffed. "Chakra. It won't fix your broken ribs, but it can ease the pain. And you'll heal faster."
"You can share your chakra?" Naruto asked.
“ How do you think medical ninjutsu works?" Kurama sounded a little impatient and Naruto could imagine him shaking his head.
"That's so cool! Can I do it too?"
"You can. I'll show you later."
"Cool!"
Kashi kept staring up at Kurama with a furrowed brow and a confused eye. Then he let out a long breath. "So, Kurama, huh?"
Kurama let out a soft "tch".
Naruto watched Kashi close his eye, his chest rising and falling real slow.
"Thank you," Kashi muttered as Kurama dropped his hand.
"Tch. I told you. I just didn't want to listen to the kit whine for the rest of the -"
"No," Kashi interrupted. "For last time."
Kurama let out another grunt. "I didn't do that for you."
"I know. Thank you for that too. I'm glad. I'm glad Naruto has a friend."
Naruto smiled. He did have a friend. Kurama was his best friend!
Kurama shifted slightly, tipping his nose in the air. "I didn't do that for you either, brat."
Kashi chuckled. "I know. Still. And, for what it's worth, I'm sorry."
"Hn?"
"I didn't - They always said the tail beasts were monsters. Difficult tools for shinobi to use. I didn't look past that. I'm sorry."
Kurama's surprise flooded Naruto's mind. He felt it pouring into every inch of his body. It was quickly followed by something really soft. And then Kurama shoved the really soft thing away.
He scoffed. "Take back over, Kit. I didn't sign up for this."
Naruto blinked and he wasn't floating anymore. Kashi watched him with a slightly furrowed brow.
"Kurama said apology accepted!" Naruto said with a grin.
"Hphm!"
Naruto fell back and landed on Kurama's soft paw with a satisfied hum. The fox huffed in response, picking his head up to glare down at him but Naruto ignored it. By now, he knew Kurama liked the company. It was quiet except for the slow trickling of water in the distance. Naruto liked it there now. The golden bars had gone away and so had the chill. If anything it was warm and cozy, especially when he got to lie on Kurama.
"What do you want now?" Kurama asked.
"Nothing," Naruto wiggled into a more comfortable position. "Kashi's reading so I wanted to stay here with you."
Kurama snorted, his breath ruffling Naruto's hair. "You humans are weird."
Rolling onto his side, Naruto grinned up at him. "You're just all embarrassed 'cause Kashi apologized to you."
All nine of Kurama's tails twitched. "Tch."
Naruto snickered. "You didn't see it coming. You got all surprised and embarrassed. I felt it."
"I wasn't embarrassed," Kurama scoffed, turning his head away.
"Were too."
Kurama growled and went quiet for a minute. Then he let out a huff. "Humans don't apologize to Tailed Beasts."
"Huh?" Naruto sat up, leaning around to try and meet Kurama's eye again. "Whaddya mean? Kashi just apologized to you."
"That's what makes him weird."
Kurama normally sounded gruff and grumpy but now he just sounded heavy. Naruto brought his knees up to his chest, trying to figure out how to easy the sudden tightness around his ribs. It was Kurama's. Naruto didn't know how he knew, but he knew. He could feel Kurama's sadness and loneliness and fear.
He shuddered.
It was a terrible feeling.
"I've been alive for a long time, Naruto," Kurama rumbled. "Humans have called me a beast, a monster, a weapon. They've feared me, hated me, used me." His ears twitched. "But they've never called me friend. And they never - not once -apologized to me."
It sounded like the nightmares he had sometimes, of walking through a blurry village path on his own. Voices shouted at him and grabbed him, shaking him. None of them called Naruto friend and nobody ever apologized to him. No one ever cared.
"That sucks," Naruto muttered, tightening his grip on his knees.
Kurama's head turned back toward him and his red eyes blinked. Then he let out a huge sigh, one that sounded almost like a laugh. "That is the worst, most useless response I've ever heard."
"What?" Naruto stuck his tongue out at the large fox. "What else am I supposed to say? It does suck."
Kurama made a low grumble. It sounded like another chuckle. "I've learned not to expect much for humans. Most of us have."
"Oh yeah, there's more of you."
Kurama hummed.
"Do you miss them?"
"Tch. No. They were annoying."
That was Kurama speak for yes. a lot.
"Maybe Kashi and I can help you find them."
Kurama's tail flicked. "A waste."
"How do you know?"
Another longer, heavier sigh. "I told you, you and Kashi are different. Jinchuurikis don't have relationships with their tailed beasts. They're locked and told to shut up."
More tightness filled in Naruto's chest. This time it was his. "Is-is that what your last Jinchuuriki did?"
Kurama huffed. "Your mother? Yes."
"Oh."
But that didn't feel right. Kashi said Mom was a loud mouth and she had a bad temper. But she was kind more than anything. She had a big heart. And she loved him - loved Naruto.
How could she just lock Kurama away? How could she just leave him to loneliness like that?
Kurama stretched, the soft paw under him moving. "I assumed your Kashi would be more like them."
"Why would he be?" Annoyance rushed through him. Of course Kashi wasn't like those other guys.
Kashi was kind.
He'd always been kind.
He was the one person in the world that showed Naruto the world wasn't horrible.
"Because he was raised by them."
Naruto blinked. "Whaddya mean?"
Kurama's body moved as he breathed. The steady trickle of water filled the room as the fox fell silent. Naruto laid and waited. Kurama didn't really like to talk a lot but he hated being rushed to talk more than anything else.
"Like he said," Kurama huffed, "he was taught to think of me as a beast, an uncontrollable tool. Shinobi rarely change their minds. Especially those as loyal to their past as he is."
Naruto's brow furrowed. "His past? Kashi's not like that."
"No," Kurama let out another low sound, something between a hum and a scoff. "He's not. That's what surprised me. Your father was."
"My father?" Naruto echoed.
Kashi said his father was brave and strong and kind. His father always made the right decisions. And he'd never leave a friend behind. His father saved people. That's what he did. He was the Fourth Hokage.
The Greatest Hokage.
How could his father have been like that?
His breath hitched at the thought.
No.
Naruto wanted to be just like his father, so he had to be kind. He never would have thought of Kurama as a tool.
Kurama huffed out another slow breath, like he knew what Naruto was thinking. "Naruto, your father saved the Leaf Village by locking me inside you. He chose the village over his own son."
Something heavy and dark wrapped around Naruto's chest, squeezing his heart until it started to crack.
No. Dad loved him. Kashi said.
Kashi said his mom and dad loved him a lot.
Dad was perfect. That was what all Kashi's stories said.
Dad was perfect; smart and strong and he never made a mistake and he loved Naruto.
Right?
Kurama exhaled. "Your Kashi didn't," he muttered, all his tails flicking again. "Maybe that should have been my first clue."
Naruto's stomach twisted. He hugged his knees tighter. "Kashi said my mom and dad loved me."
Kurama humphed.
"D-Do think-" No, never mind. Naruto didn't want the answer to that question. "Kurama. Kashi loves me, right?"
A sharp scoff left the fox. "Don't bother me with questions when your answer is obvious, Kit. I'm tired."
He rested his muzzle on his paws, his furry cheek settling against Naruto’s side. Naruto really hoped that it was Kurama for "yes".
Kakashi wasn't the arts and crafts type. He never had been. His life had been shuriken and ninjutsu since the moment he could walk. He'd graduated the academy at the age of five. Made chunnin by six. He should probably be able to put together a Happy Birthday banner.
Glancing back down at his book, he scanned the description desperately and - not for the first time - wished Jiraiya put more effort into describing things other than women's bodies. If Jiraiya described the banner a little better, Kakashi might have been able to do better than his shitty handwriting and a multicolored banner he'd found in the village.
It had only been a ninety minute run, which wasn't bad, though the three hour round trip was a little more tiring than Kakashi expected. Especially when he hadn't finished the little leanto he was trying to pass off as a "bedroom".
"I'm an idiot," he muttered, mostly to himself.
Pakkun grumbled from where he was guarding the cake. "Stop whining, boss. The kid's going to be over the moon."
Was he?
Or was he going to take one look at Kakashi's sorry attempt and scuff in disgust?
Kind of like Kakashi wanted to do.
He'd never had to opportunity to throw Naruto a surprise party - could it be considered a party when the only people attending were Naruto, Kakashi, and Jiraiya? Parties needed more than three people, didn't they? - but with Jiraiya around, he couldn't very well pass up the chance to give Naruto something special.
Or, not special.
The leanto wasn't anything like a real room would be. It'd been months - though it felt like years - since Naruto's outburst around the fire.
"I want a real home!"
Kakashi desperately wished he could give Naruto that. Something more than a sorry excuse for a missing-nin and a few pats on the head every once in a while. He wished he could be enough for Naruto. Wished he could be a home for Naruto the way Naruto was a home for him.
Bull grunted from where he was dragging a mat of moss under the leanto's cover in an attempt to make a rug.
This was stupid.
Kakashi was so stupid.
"Where's the blanket you picked up, Boss?" Shiba asked, bounding over.
"Over by the cake," Kakashi waved vaguely in Pakkun's direction, toward his pack.
Shiba hummed and trotted over to get the blanket. The bright blue clashed painfully with the forest around them, loud and childish with foxes that ran across the stark blue.
Probably too childlike.
Naruto was ten for fuck's sake.
"What am I doing?" Kakashi asked himself.
"Overthinking," Pukkun huffed. "Finish the banner already. Pup and Jiraiya will be back soon."
"Not helping," Kakashi growled, staring down at the banner.
"Here, I can help." Bisuke appeared, dipping his paws in the paint and running across the banner.
"Oi!" Kakashi protested.
Guruko laughed, appearing as well. He followed Bisuke's example, prancing across the banner as well. Their multicolored paw marks did actually help the banner. It looked far less empty.
"Boss," Shiba called. "Blanket. They can finish the banner. C'mon."
Kakashi sighed but left them to it, making his way over to Shiba. Naruto's bedroll sat up on the makeshift earth slap Kakashi had created. He took the blanket from Shiba, breathing slowly. At least the blanket was soft and warm.
Maybe he would like it.
"Look alive," Pakkun called. "I smell 'em."
"Banner's done, Boss. C'mon. C'mon!" Bisuke snatched the edge of Kakashi's pants and dragged him over.
Naruto's voice floated through the air, excited and breathless at the same time. Briefly, Kakashi wondered what he and Jiraiya had done for their training.
Jiraiya being around every once in a while had been surprisingly nice, in a way Kakashi hadn't expected. The Sannin had made good on his word. Months had gone by. No one from the Leaf had come for Naruto. Jiraiya found them every couple of weeks, dragging Naruto off from training and Naruto came back smiling, every time.
More than he'd ever smiled after training with Kakashi.
"Boss," Pakkun said firmly. "Cut it out. You're spiraling and the kid's almost here."
Kakashi forced out a breath and nodded.
"Kashi!" A blur of orange and blond slammed into him. Both of them nearly toppled over in the hug. "Kashi!" Naruto's voice shook a little, watery and uncertain.
"Hey, hey," Kakashi's chest tightened and he shot a wild eyed look at Jiraiya.
The Sannin only smiled slightly.
Naruto pulled back, grinning up at him with watery eyes. "You made me a birthday party!"
Kakashi blinked and nodded.
Naruto looked around, grinning up at the lopsided banner and then over at the leanto. "You made me a bedroom!"
Kakashi swallowed. "Yeah."
"It's perfect. Kashi!" Naruto slammed into him again.
Kakashi breathed, slinging an arm over Naruto's shoulders. "Happy birthday, kid."
Naruto tugged on Kashi's arm, shoving him toward the path. "Okay, Kashi, bye!"
Kashi raised his eyebrow at him, one hand shoved lazily in his pocket and the other wrapped around his pack's strap. His gaze moved up to Pervy Sage and Naruto could feel the suspicion rolling off him.
"If you two dye my hair tonight," Kashi muttered, ruffling Naruto's hair, "I'll never cook for either of you again."
"We would never," Pervy Sage lied, hand over his heart.
Kashi hummed his disbelief but finally turned down the path to leave. Excitement buzzed under Naruto's skin.
"Alright, kid," Pervy Sage said. "Let's go. We've only got a couple of hours at most."
Grinning, Naruto followed Pervy Sage into the trees. It'd been months since the last time he saw Pervy Sage and Naruto had been waiting forever for their secret training to continue. He'd practiced as often as he could, but it was hard because Kashi was always around. The only time Naruto wasn't with Kashi were when he was with Kurama or when Naruto was sleeping and Kashi was off doing Kashi things - doing jobs for money, and Naruto had to stay at the inn when he was doing them, reading, or doing that thing where he sits really still and stares at the fire without blinking. Naruto didn't think it was meditation. He had seen Kashi meditate lots of times and this looked different.
But now Kashi was off in town and Pervy Sage was here. And that meant Naruto could finally show off what he'd been working on.
They came to a stop in a clearing. It wasn't too far from their campsite but far enough that Kurama would be able to warn Naruto when Kashi was coming.
"Alright kid," Pervy Sage said, crossing his arms and smirking down at Naruto. "Show me what you got."
Naruto grinned, bouncing on his feet. "I'm gonna do it! Believe it!"
Pervy Sage chuckled.
Naruto pulled in a deep breath and stuck his hand out. The Rasengan was all about chakra control and Naruto had gotten really good at that, even with all the extra chakra he had from Kurama.
First rotation. Then power. Then containment.
He could do all three of those things just fine. It was just the putting them together part he'd been having trouble with.
A swirling chakra sphere whispered into life. It was mostly white and see-through, not like Kashi's. When Kashi used the Rasengan, it was a bright blue that glowed like the sky.
"Ugh!" the sphere flickered out of existence and Naruto scowled down at his palm.
"Not bad, kid," Pervy Sage said. "You were closer than last time."
"Not close enough."
Naruto tried again.
And again.
And again.
Each time, the Rasengan collapsed in itself, fizzling into nothing.
"Stop thinking so much," Kurama scowled. "I'm trying to sleep."
Naruto ignored the fox. His cheeks felt hot and his chest tight. He thought he'd be able to do it by now. It'd been months since they started training.
What was he doing wrong?
Was he just not good enough?
"Hey, don't pout," Pervy Sage ordered. "You're doing good."
Naruto let his hand fall after his tenth failure. "Dad would have got it by now."
A sharp laugh left the Pervy Sage. "Naruto, do you know how long it took Minato to create the Rasengan?"
Naruto shrugged. "I dunno, a couple of days?"
"Try a couple of years, kid."
Naruto's mouth fell open. "Years? But-but Kashi says my dad was the best! He never lost a fight and he was a genius and- and - and he always did things right."
Something flashed through Pervy Sage's eyes before his whole face softened. One of his big hands landed on Naruto's shoulder. "Your dad was talented. And smart. I don't know if I'd say genius. He was a little shit, kind of like you. But he worked his ass off to be that way. He didn't wake up every morning with some cool new jutsu. He studied. He trained. He failed."
Failed.
The word hung around him.
His dad failed at stuff?
The way Kashi talked, Naruto always thought Dad was perfect. He never did anything wrong. He never had to try really hard.
"Look, kid." Pervy Sage's lips turned down. "Minato was a great shinobi and I know - I know that Kakashi thinks a lot of him. But don't forget that he was still just a man. He did smart things but he also did dumb things. He saved people but he hurt people too. He wasn't perfect. Nobody is."
So Kashi was wrong about his dad.
It felt wrong to even think. Naruto had never thought Kashi could be wrong about something.
Did that mean he was wrong about what he said, all those years ago, at the inn?
Naruto gathered all his courage. "Did he love me?"
Pervy Sage looked surprised at the question. Then he let out a sad breath and rubbed the back of his neck. His voice was so soft Naruto almost missed it. "Of course he did."
Naruto's hand moved over his stomach, clutching at his jacket. "Then why did he - He thought Kurama was a monster. You all did. So why did he lock Kurama inside me?"
If he loved me, why did he try to make me a monster?
Pervy Sage heaved a big sigh, like Kashi did when he didn't know how to answer. "He thought it was the right thing to do. I wish I had a better answer for you kid. He thought it was the right choice. And maybe, in some ways, it was. I don't know of anyone else who ever befriended a Tailed Beast. But I know that doesn't make it better. Minato never had to live with it. You did."
It wasn't fair.
Naruto never got parents.
He never got to go to the playground and play with other kids.
He never got to walk in the door and say "I'm home".
His dad never ruffled his hair.
His mom never kissed his cheek and said "I love you".
"Hey," Pervy Sage nudged him softly. "I know it wasn't fair. None of this was. And it's gotta be hard. But don't spend so much time looking for somebody who's gone kid. You got one hell of a dad right now."
A dad?
His dad was dead.
"Whaddya mean?"
Pervy Sage's hand landed on his head, ruffling his hair. "Naruto, I've known Kakashi since the day he was born. I have never seen him love anyone half as much as he loves you."
Something warm bubbled in his stomach, its tendrils reaching up to try and push his cracked heart back together. "You think so?"
"Oh, I know so. Kakashi was one of the most loyal shinobi the Leaf Village ever knew. And he left it behind, for you . No matter what happens, you have a dad that loves you. Remember that."
The sun had nearly disappeared under the horizon. Kakashi was definitely getting back later than he planned on, but the extra wait at the stall would be worth it.
Kakashi barely stepped into their camp when a blur of orange slammed into him. He staggered, nearly dropping the bag of dinner, and wrapped an arm around Naruto to steady himself.
"Is that ramen?" Naruto asked, pulling up to beam up at him. "Real ramen?"
"Hmm? Is it?"
"Kashi!"
Maybe Kakashi was feeling a little sentimental and a little guilty. The second Jiraiya had mentioned heading to the next village over to stay at their inn and bathhouses, Naruto had been over the moon. The kid loved going into villages, it was like his birthday every time.
And walking through the villages, Kakashi was reminded of the large holes in Naruto's life. The kid never had an overbearing shopkeeper that greeted him by name. Never given a restaurant owner doe eyes for an extra dessert. Never eaten at the same place enough times that hte owners knew his favorite meal.
Kakashi hadn't either but for very different reasons. After that mission, the villagers had hated Kakashi almost as much as they hated his father. He hadn't been allowed in restaurants to find a favorite meal or give the waitress doe eyes to get an extra dessert.
Minato had always hated that. He wanted Kakashi to do things like a normal kid. And now, here he was, keeping Naruto from those same things.
Minato-sensei would be so ashamed of me.
The thought settled in his chest, cold and dark.
"Kashi!" Naruto tugged at his arm.
Kakashi shook himself from his thoughts and looked down at the boy.
"I'm hungry!"
"Oh? I suppose we should eat then."
Naruto beamed at him. Some of the cold thawed under the pure rays of joy and Kakashi breathed again. They settled around the fire, Jiraiya launching into a ridiculous travel story. Kakashi only half listened - the chances of any of the stories having more than a grain of truth were slim - but Naruto was completely enraptured as he listened.
The fire crackled and popped as Kakashi watched it. Orange licked the darkening sky and little embers traveled up to be lost in the sea of leaves once they were snuffed out. Something about the flickering flames held his attention. Maybe it was the thoughtlessness of it all. Watching flames didn't require anything but the numbness he could only indulge in sparingly.
It was a good thing, he knew, that the numbness was rare. But sometimes - like now, when Naruto's sharp giggles reminded him too much of the sensei that would hate him for the life he's forced upon his son - it was a kindness he wished he could give himself more often.
"And then - right as I was about to seal the deal with the lovely lady - her husband came home. I barely got out of there with my clothes!"
Damn it.
Kakashi blinked himself back into awareness. Right, no letting Jiraiya tell stories unsupervised. Somehow it always came back to sex.
"That's what you get for peeping, Pervy Sage!"
Jiraiya waved his chopsticks angrily at the boy. "I keep telling you, it's research!"
Kakashi sighed and set his mostly full bowl aside. "Please don't corrupt him more than you already have."
"Teaching the kid the danger of research isn't corruption, Kakashi. It's a warning."
Jiraiya himself should come with a warning. Kakashi sighed, glancing down at Naruto. Luckily, most of the conversation seemed to have gone over the ten-year-olds head. So Kakashi hadn't completely failed at being a guardian.
Yet.
"So," Kaksashi said, nudging Naruto with his elbow. "What did you two get up to while I was gone?"
Naruto perked up immediately. "Training!" he cheered around a mouthful of noodles.
Kakashi should probably tell him not to talk with his mouth full. Manners were important and Kakashi's own father would have swatted him on the ass for talking with his mouth full. But there was something incredibly charming about Naruto doing it.
So Kakashi hummed instead. That much he had figured out. Despite being a boundless ball of untamable energy, one of Naruto's biggest tells was his inability to sit still when he was eating ramen. And the kid was practically vibrating. But he wasn't rambling.
Which meant they hadn't just been training.
They were training with a jutsu Kakashi had vetoed.
"Hmm," Kakashi mused. "I'm surprised you're this excited. Normally you complain about how boring taijutsu is."
Naruto scoffed. "Taijutsu is boring, Kashi. We did something way cooler!"
"Oh?" Kakashi tilted his head innocently. "Must have been fun."
"The best! And I'm getting so good at it, Kashi. Pervy Sage says if I keep trying I'll -"
"Naruto!" Jiraiya yelped, looking midly horrified.
Too excited, Naruto charged ahead without listening, "be using the Rasengan by the next time he- Oh. Oops."
Kakashi stared at his kid for a long minute before he blinked slowly, trying to force his mind to start working again. "Excuse me?"
"Uh." Naruto turned to look at Jiraiya.
Jiraiya groaned.
Kakashi blinked a few more times, pulling in a long breath. The Rasengan. Naruto was a child and that was a S-rank jutsu. What the hell was Jiraiya thinking?
The goal of getting Naruto away from the Leaf Village was to keep him safe. Not invite him into learning dangerous, high level jutsu when he was ten.
"The Rasengan?" Kakashi repeated, forcing his voice to stay even.
ANBU training was good for something. Kakashi wrestled the strange panic in his chest. Naruto wasn't hurt, by some miracle. And neither was Jiraiya. Yet.
There was no reason to panic.
Naruto scratched at his cheek. "Well, Pervy Sage said he knew it. And I really wanted to learn it, ya know? And since I've got Kurama's chakra and I can control it all really good, we thought... Ya know?"
Kakashi turned to glare at Jiraiya with all the anger he could muster with a single eye.
Jiraiya, at least, had the sense to try and look regretful. "Come on, Kakashi. The kid's already mastered taijutsu. Don't you think it's time to -"
"We started ninjutsu last year," Kakashi reminded his father's oldest friend. "You could have worked on that."
"Well, yeah, but the kid really wanted to learn the Rasengan. And you know how convincing he can be."
"He's ten."
"And he's almost already got it."
"That isn't the point. The Rasengan isn't a justsu for a ten year old, it's -" he cut himself off with a shake of his head. It was pointless. They'd do what they wanted no matter what he said. "You know what? Never mind. I should have expected this from you."
Jiraiya smirked. "Well, it's an honor to be understood so well."
Kakashi huffed out a breath, willing himself not to throw a kunai at the older man.
Naruto turned to grin up at him with another mouth full of noodles. "It's okay, Kashi! Kurama won't let me get hurt. And Pervy Sage says I've almost got it already!"
"Oh yeah?" Some of the numbness offered to take over again, to help take care of the still lingering sense of panic. Kakashi shoved it away as best he could. Numbness didn't help Naruto.
"The kid's chakra control is great," Jiraiya jumped in quickly. "Leagues beyond what most kids his age. He must have had one hell of a teacher."
Kakashi shot him a look. "Buttering me up isn't going to help you."
Naruto, on the other hand, beamed. "Course, Pervy Sage! My dad's the best teacher in the world!"
Kakashi hummed his agreement. Minato had been the best sensei in the world, there was no doubt about that. Kakashi wished he could be half the man Minato was, but there was no chance for that.
Minato had been perfect. A ray of brightness and warmth. Patient and kind, always with a smile.
Kakashi was as far from perfect as someone could possibly get. He was darkness and blood and sadness.
Naruto was right to think his dad was -
Kakashi looked up again. Jiraiya smiled warmly and knowingly at him. Naruto had gone back to his ramen, completely oblivious to the way Kakashi's brain tried to spin his words around.
"My dad's the best teacher in the world!"
"What?" Kakashi breathed.
The word stuck in his throat, coming out more of a choke than anything.
Naruto let out a soft hum. "I said you're the best teacher in the world."
Jiraiya snorted.
Not for the first time, Kakashi was incredibly glad he had a mask to hide his lips parting without sound. Naruto went back to his ramen.
"My dad."
Dad.
My dad.
Kakashi's gaze shot to Jiraiya, searching. What did he do? He wasn't Minato. He didn't deserve that title. But he didn't want to upset Naruto either.
The very last thing he wanted was Naruto think that Kakashi didn't want him. He did. He loved Naruto. The kid was his whole world.
But Kakashi didn't deserve that title.
Not when he was still failing the kid every day.
Jiraiya met his gaze with sparkling eyes, silently telling Kakashi the last thing he'd ever expected.
He wants you to be his dad. Accept it.
Notes:
Kakaashi: "I am a terrible human being. I deserve nothing."
Naruto: "You're my dad and I love you."
Kurama: "I hate both of you... But you're alright for humans..."
Jiraiya: "I'm just here for the vibes."^a TL:DNR summary of this chapter. I had a lot of fun tormenting Kakashi with his own self-worth issues in this chapter. It's one of my favorite things to do! The birthday party scene was super last minute - I literally wrote it as I was posting the chapter - so it might feel a little out of place but I thought it was cute and I couldn't resist!
Since Naruto is being raised by the great Kakashi Hatake and trained at a very young age by The Legendary Toad Sage, Jiraiya, I thought it would make sense for him to have a few different tricks up his sleeve. Hence the Gale Clones. They serve a similar purpose to Shadow Clones but instead of poofing out of existence, they explode into little tornadoes when they dissipate. Expect some more new jutsus and powers from Naruto. Talk no jutsu might be the strongest weapon in his arsenal, but I by no means plan on it being the only one!
I hope you guys once again enjoyed this chapter.
Remember to stay healthy, stay sane, and stay safe out there!
Chapter 7: The Bonds We Forge
Summary:
Friend Killer Kakashi doesn't really live up to the name...
Notes:
So many nice comments ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡
Thank you guys so much for so many wonderful comments. I hope that you continue to enjoy this AU because I've honestly been having so much fun writing it. Naruto's arsenal of jutsus will grow as we continue, because it makes sense to me that he would have plenty of them - growing up with the Man of a Thousand Jutsus.
A lot of people have been wondering about Konoha. You'll get a peek into that with this chapter, though the full answer will develop over time.
We did a 2 year timeskip with this one! Naruto is now 12.
Please enjoy this chapter. Thank you guys again so much for sticking with me!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Kakashi smelt the blood before he heard the scream. It was high pitched, terrified. A child's scream.
"Kashi?" Naruto turned to blink up at him. "Is that blood?"
"Stay close," Kakashi ordered.
Naruto nodded. Whether it was the years or the training, he wasn't sure but Naruto had gotten much better at listening.
The bridge they came upon was half built, stretching across the misty waterway in a surprisingly sound architecture. Kakashi had heard whispers of a bridge being built to connect the Land of Waves to the bigger nations. It would make trade far easier which would help the people prosper but likely cost the smugglers and merchants fortunes.
Kakashi wasn't surprised to see an assassin in the middle of the bridge. A missing-nin from the Village Hidden in the Mist according to the scratched through hitai-ite. What surprised him were the four young Leaf shinobi, clearly only genin if they were lucky, standing between Zabuza Mamochi and who he suspected was the bridge builder with no jonin around.
Kakashi couldn't even sense their chakra. Which meant they either weren't in the area or they were dead.
Leaving four children against a missing-nin from the Blood Mist Village. There was another shinobi nearby, ANBU at one point based on the mask. And a dark haired preteen that had to be a Nara had him in a shadow paralysis jutsu. A pink haired girl sat in the arms of a blond girl, bleeding heavily, and the last boy trembled as he stood between the girls and the Demon of the Hidden Mist.
"Kashi?" Naruto whispered.
Zabuza wasn't the problem. Kakashi could handle him. It was the ANBU he was worried about. Naras were smart, annoyingly so. Their intellect had always rivaled the Hatakes, so if the Nara kid had the ANBU pinned, there was a reason.
“Kurama says that one’s strong,” Naruto said, pointing toward the ANBU.
Kakashi grunted. “I was thinking the same thing. Naruto, stay here and stay hidden.”
“What? Why?”
“Because an ninja’s best tool is the element of surprise.”
Zabuza took a step toward the genin and the boy took a half a step back. He hadn’t turned tail and run yet. Kakashi had to give him some credit for that.
“If that one,” Kakashi pointed to the ANBU, “breaks free, I’m going to need you and Kurama. Keep an eye on them, alright?”
For a split second, Naruto looked torn. Then he nodded firmly. “Got it, Kashi.”
“Good kid.”
“Choji!” the blond girl screamed.
Zabuza moved forward. The Nara boy turned to look at them but by some miracle didn’t break his jutsu.
Sparks flew as Kakashi’s kunai caught Zabuza’s blade. A thud hit the bridge behind him as the genin boy hit his ass in fear. The two girls screamed. The noise stabbed into Kakashi’s ears but he gritted his teeth and focused on keeping his kunai perfectly balanced. One twitch in the wrong direction and he’d get his arm sliced in two.
Zabuza moved back first, leaping to put a considerable distance between them as he sized up his new opponent. Kakashi dropped his arm, giving his tense muscles a momentary break.
“What?” a high genin voice muttered from behind him.
“Choji! Ino!” the Nara kid shouted. “Don’t just stand there, get Sakura out of there!”
“Huh? Oh, right!”
Behind him, the genin scrambled. Kakashi kept his gaze on Zabuza. The mist around them was beginning to thicken. A slow working jutsu, but an effective one. For most people.
Kakashi shoved his hitai-ite up, allowing his Sharingan to cut through the mist.
“So the rumors were true,” Zabuza drawled. “The Copy Ninja. Man Who Copied Over a Thousand Jutsu.”
Kakashi barely bit back an eye roll. He hated when his opponents listed off the plethora of nicknames others had given him over the years. “You can just call me Kakashi.”
He was ignored. “Son of the Traitor, White Fang. Friend Killer of the Leaf Village. Kakashi Hatake of the Sharingan Eye, a missing-nin.”
The Nara let out a harsh breath. So the kids knew his name. Not all that surprising. Defectors from the Leaf Village were rare. Since Kakashi left eight years ago, there had only been one other.
“Zabuza Momochi,” Kakashi greeted. “Whatever could you want with a bunch of untrained genin?”
Zabuza let out a sharp huff, his massive blade resting carefully against his shoulders even as he rolled them. "Untrained or not, it doesn't matter to me. They were hired to protect the bridge builder. That means they're in my way."
The Nara kid let out a slow, frustrated breath behind Kakashi. "Tch. That's a hell of a way to talk about kids who are just doing their job."
Kakashi turned his head just enough to glare at the kid. He agreed with the words but the idiots needed to learn to keep their mouths shut. If he could distract Zabuza for long enough, they might be able to sneak away. Instead, the Nara kid was wasting his opportunity at distraction.
Shikaku would be disappointed.
Zabuza’s eyes found the kid as well, though his scowl seemed more directed at his younger companion. “I wouldn’t get complacent just because the Copy Ninja is here. Haku is far more powerful. He’s a prodigy. I’d know, I raised him. You won’t be able to hold him for long.”
“It’ll be long enough,” Kakashi said, spinning his kunai in his hand. He kept his muscles loose, tracking the slight twitches of Zabuza’s fingers.
Waiting for an opening.
The fog thickened around them until it was little more than soup. Behind him, the genin made startled noises as the world was swallowed by the white haze. Kakashi barely spared them a glance. The Sharingan cut through the mist, catching the flicker of movement. Zabuza was fast but he was a mass of taut muscles and a tall frame.
Being short and lean had its advantages too.
Kakashi’s kunai caught the steel of the executioner’s blade as he landed in front of the genin and their charge. It slid off target, sparks glistening in the mist like dying embers as Kakashi deflected it. A minor miscalculation - at least that’s what Zabuza would think it was - allowed the steel to nick Kakashi’s shoulder, slicing through his sleeve and spilling blood down his arm.
It was a dull pain and Kakashi gritted his teeth, pushing off the blade to force space between them. He didn’t need much, just enough for a few quick hand signs.
“Earth style. Mud wall.”
He could only fit it around the bridge builder and three of the genin. Cutting the Nara boy off from shadow access would free Zabuza’s companion and Kakashi really didn’t feel like fighting both of them at the same time.
Through his swath of bandages, Zabuza growled at him. “That won’t do much for them.”
“It’ll do enough.”
Mainly take away distractions. The wall would only last through a few attacks, but if Zabuza managed to slip away somehow, at least the wall would slow him down.
“Crap,” the Nara kid muttered.
Kakashi turned his head in time to see the shadow jutsu flutter and then disconnect. The Nara boy fell back, panting, and the masked figure turned toward the wall.
“Haku,” Zabuza said. “Kill them.”
Damn it.
The Nara boy tried to stand, his fingers stumbling to find a grip on a kunai. Not that it would do any good. A chill filled the air, Kakashi’s breath formed a cold in front of his face.
That wasn’t good.
His hands flashed through several seals but a streak of orange soared into the clearing before he could finish. The wind howled angrily. Three Narutos landed in front of the Nara boy, each grinning widely.
“I got it, Kashi!” The barest tint of red washed over the eyes of the middle Naruto. Kakashi wondered if anyone else even noticed.
Kakashi grit his teeth and turned his attention back to Zabuza. He had trained Naruto for this, to be able to fight strong opponents. But he still hated it.
Trust him , his brain ordered, sounding strangely like Minato. You trained him. Now trust him .
Zabuza was more a kenjutsu user than anything else - not surprising for one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. It was a bit of a pain in the ass though. Kakashi carried plenty of kunai but they didn’t have the length. Not for the first time in his life, he missed his father's tanto and the katana he’d carried as a member of ANBU.
Either would have been preferable to fighting the giant executioner’s blade with just a kunai. Especially when, hard as he tried not to, Kakashi’s gaze kept wandering toward Naruto.
Haku was definitely stronger than he looked. Within the first few seconds of their fight, he put up a circle of mirrors with his kekki genkai. A few well executed gale clones had blown the ice mirrors away in seconds, though the shards had cut open the Nara boy’s arm and the gales had nearly sent him over the edge of the bridge.
Still too much chakra.
They’d have to keep working on it. Naruto hadn't had a chance to use them in an actual fight before this one. Between the Uzumaki chakra reserves and the adrenaline probably rushing through, channeling the correct amount of chakra must have been more difficult.
Kakashi might have to make an effort to find more adrenaline inducing training for Naruto. The Gale Clones were an undeniable asset, but if they did as much damage to allies as enemies it would end up being a last resort instead of a standard.
Zabuza swung. “I thought you were a traitor, Friend Killer. But here you are, protecting Leaf brats.”
Kakashi ducked and rolled, swiping out and catching Zabuza’s calf. “Old habits die hard.”
Small and quick beat big and slow any day.
The same could be said for swords and kunai.
Zabuza growled.
Distantly, Kakashi could hear talking. Which meant Naruto was doing that thing again. For a kid that spent most of his early days trying to run head first into everything, Naruto loved to talk.
No, not just talk.
Connect.
He had a way of bringing people around to his way of thinking. Of making people feel less alone.
Kakashi supposed his first hint to that should have been Kurama. Convincing the Nine-Tailed Beast, a god of destruction, to become his friend was a feat no other had managed.
Naruto kept rambling about wanting to create his own jutsu but Kakashi was starting to think the kid had done that when he was six.
Talk no Jutsu.
The ability to talk a blind man into buying a picture book.
Kakashi’s world tilted slightly as he pushed himself up. Shit. He stumbled, blinking away the splash of black dots, and scrambled to pull his hitai-ite back down.
Too much Sharingan use. Just what he didn’t need.
The mist thickened around him and Kakashi found himself as blind as the rest. Oh well. Plan B then.
“I heard you could only use that eye for a length of time,” Zabuza’s voice carried on the mist.
“Oh?” Kakashi’s hand drifted to his pack, fingers curling around his summoning scroll. “Shame. I thought it was a better kept secret than that. Oh well. I suppose I’ll just have to rely on my other tricks. Summoning jutsu!”
In a blink all eight of his hounds had appeared and then disappeared into the mist. Zabuza had the nerve to laugh. Most would have. Kakashi had faced thousands of enemies over the years and all of them forgot that hounds rarely ever relied on their eyes to find their targets.
His hounds knew scents well, but there was no better scent than his, still staining the executioner’s blade.
Shiba howled first.
Then Bull.
Soon all eight of his hounds were calling for him.
Kakashi shoved up his hitai-ite, allowing his Sharingan to cut through the mist. The chidori crackled into life and, for a brief moment, Kakashi wondered which one of them truly looked like a demon hidden in the mist. Zabuza’s blood was thick in the air, each ninken clamped down on a leg or an arm, pinning him in place.
“Time for this to be done,” Kakashi told Zabuza.
The swordsman’s eyes widened just slightly. The electric blue of the chidori lit up the world as he threw his hand forward. All eight of his ninken puff out of existence, gone before they can be injured. Flesh and bone squelched under his palm, the stink of burning flesh ripe in the air.
Dread filled Kakashi’s chest.
Haku had a young face. Not much older than Naruto’s. And, with his long bangs framing his sad, dying brown eyes, he looked like…
“Ka.Ka.Shi.”
Kakashi blinked hard, focusing on the pale hue of Haku’s cheeks. Rin had tan skin and the purple Nohara marks on her cheeks. But she’d been young too.
“Why?” Kakashi whispered.
The Hidden Mist didn’t work that way. They were never taught the value of comrades or closeness. Their entire final exam involved killing everyone they’d once called friend.
Blood spilled from Haku’s lips, red tumbling down pale skin.
“Ka.Ka.Shi.”
I’m sorry. Rin. I’m so sorry.
“Za.Buza.” Haku’s hand wrapped around Kakashi’s, the boy’s grip bruisingly tight.
Trying to keep him from getting away, Kakashi realized as Zabuza raised his blade. Zabuza would cut right through Haku’s body to get to Kakashi.
“I’d know. I raised him.”
”Ka.Ka.Shi.”
“You did good, Haku,” Zabuza drawled. “It was a really great find I made, taking you in.”
Yanking Haku’s body forward, Kakashi tucked the boy into his chest - the way he would have tucked Naruto against him - and leapt backwards. Haku’s dead weight was heavy but he still managed to get them out of distance for Zabuza’s swing.
Why?
He was so young.
”I raised him.”
Raised him? Like Kakashi raised Naruto?
Would Naruto do that for Kakashi? Sacrifice his life as though it meant nothing?
Nothing more than a broken tool to be used, reforged, and rebroken.
Yelling.
Kakashi could hear yelling over the buzzing in his ears as he laid Haku’s body down. Naruto, he registered vaguely. Probably giving Zabuza hell for trying to cut through the boy that had clearly loved him more than life itself.
Kashi.
Kakashi’s hands trembled as he closed Haku’s eyes and looked up. The world slowed down without the help of his Sharingan. Zabuza lunged toward Naruto. The Nara boy was shouting. But Kakashi didn’t panic. He didn’t need to.
”My dad’s the best teacher in the whole world!”
An eerie calmness filled his entire body.
Kashi.
There was nothing to worry about, after all.
My dad.
Kashi.
”I raised him.”
My dad.
Kashi.
Naruto had Kurama to look after him.
And, more importantly, he had Kakashi.
His kunai sank into Zabuza’s arm, straight into the tendon, before the Demon of the Mist made it within thirty yards of Naruto. A burning heat filled Kakashi’s body as he ducked under a swing of the executioner’s blade and slammed his foot into Zabuza’s chest.
Kashi.
The world blurred around Kakashi as he moved. His ears buzzed, his blood pounded.
He drove a second kunai into Zabuza’s other arm, driving it deep enough to strike another tendon. The executioner’s blade skittered away.
Kashi.
His knuckles cracked as he slammed a fist into Zabuza’s cheek. The man hit the ground.
KashiKashiKashiKashi.
The fire in Kakashi’s chest flared, something sick and satisfied twisting through him. It demanded more. Blood and pain and the promise that nothing would ever happen to Kakashi’s kid.
Kashi.
Something tapped against the other end of the bridge. A cane.
More people.
It was all blurred and rushed and slow at the same time. Kakashi somehow managed to wrestle reality into his hand in time to catch Naruto as his boy surged forward. His angry indignation was thick in the air, screaming obscenities - that Kakashi should probably discourage - as a short old man kicked Haku’s still body again.
“Let go, Kashi!” Naruto howled before his head snapped over to Zabuza. “Hey, you bastard! Why aren’t you doing anything? Haku was your comrade, wasn’t he?”
“Shut up,” Zabuza growled. “Haku is already dead.”
Kakashi’s arms tightened around Naruto, pulling the boy further into his chest. “Don’t be reckless,” he whispered.
Your life is worth so much more than that.
Naruto wriggled against him. “Don’t you feel anything watching him do that?” So much hurt and anger swirled in Naruto’s voice. “Weren’t you and Haku together for a long time? Don’t you care?”
Zabuza scoffed. “As Gato used me, I was simply using Haku.”
Naruto’s entire body tensed. Kakashi could fear his horror thickening in the air around them. He pulled Naruto closer, blond hair tickling his chin, hoping Naruto could hear the silent promise.
I would never use you. You’re my kid.
“Shinobis live to be tools. Now, Haku’s life is over. His usefulness is at an end. The loss of his skill and strength mean something to me but the boy means nothing.”
“You’re an even bigger bastard than I thought!”
“Naruto,” Kakashi hissed. “We’ve got bigger-”
“No, let me go, Kashi! He - Haku - he. He really cared about you!” Naruto’s voice thickened with tears. Kakashi’s chest tightened. “He lived for you! You were the most important person in the world to him. He cared so much he died so you didn’t! And you - you didn’t feel anything at all? He threw his life away for you! To die as a tool.”
“You,” Zabuza hissed, voice thick with grief.
Surprise slithered through Kakashi’s chest. He didn’t think it was possible for the Demon of the Mist to feel anything. Let alone cry.
“Your words cut deep. Deeper than any blade. Haku was also too soft. Too kind. He felt pain and he felt sorrow. And now, I feel them too.”
Shinobi were all human, after all.
None of the genin were hurt too badly, by some miracle. All of them were twitchy around him, but Kakashi supposed that was to be expected. Based on the Nara boy’s reaction, they all knew who he was. Still, the pink haired girl let him assess the gash on her abdomen. It wasn’t too deep but it definitely needed stitches.
The girl was tough, he’d give her that. She flinched a few times but didn’t try to squirm away as he threaded the needle through her skin. All three of her companions hovered, likely trying to make sure Kakashi didn’t run a kunai through her throat for the fun of it. Naruto remained where Kakashi had left him, standing beside Haku and Zabuza’s still bodies.
Kakashi tried not to think about it. Tried not to compare his story to Zabuza’s. Broken tool kidnaps young boy and travels aimlessly.
Haku died not knowing how much Zabuza cared about him.
Zabuza never showed that kid an ounce of emotion.
Was Kakashi doing that too?
He tied off the final stitch and grabbed a bandage from his first aid pack. “Hold this here,” he told the girl, placing a long swath of gauze across the sixteen stitches. Her hands shook a little but she steadied the gauze for him. “Let me know if it's too tight.”
“Why?” the Nara boy asked as Kakashi pulled the bandages taut around the girl’s stomach.
He’d have to look at the boy’s arm next. The shards of Haku’s ice mirrors had already started to melt and the small collection of wounds were bleeding sluggishly. Nothing dangerous but it could cause infection if he let them go.
“Why?” the Nara boy repeated when Kakashi ignored him in favor of finishing up the bandages.
“Hey, Shikamaru,” the other boy said. “Let’s not question why he saved us and maybe just be happy that he did?”
Kakashi heaved a sigh as he taped off the girl’s bandage. “There,” he said. “Don’t lift anything heavy or move too suddenly. Unless, of course, you want to bleed out.”
She squeaked and shook her head.
Kakashi looked up at the Nara boy and gestured to the ground in front of him. “Sit. I’ll look at your arm.”
The boy glowered at him. “No.”
His other friends flinched. Kakashi bit back a sigh. He shrugged instead, packing his supplies back into his med kit. The edges were frayed from its constant use - even the patches were starting to come undone. Naruto asked him time and time again why he didn’t just get a new one already - but Kakashi was as careful as possible as he buttoned it closed.
“If you were sent to protect the bridge builder,” Kakashi said, slipping his med kit away, “then your mission was a success. You should find your sensei and get on the road.”
“You saved us,” the Nara boy snapped. “You’re Friend Killer Kakashi. You betrayed the Leaf Village. Why did you save us?”
Because I don’t hate the Leaf.
Because you’re kids.
Because I don’t want to be a monster.
Because those who break the rules are scum. But those who turn their backs on their comrades are worse than scum.
Kakashi bit back a sigh and made his way toward Naruto. “I wonder.”
None of the kids responded, all of them staring at him. Kakashi ignored them, patting Naruto’s head softly as he came to a stop beside the boy.
“We should get going,” he told Naruto softly.
Naruto stared down at the still bodies. “I don’t wanna just leave ‘em here.”
Kakashi sighed. “Alright.”
He had several sealing scrolls in his pack that would work for moving the bodies. Naruto watched quietly, rocking on his toes as Kakashi worked. The bridge was surrounded by water and, unless Naruto felt like giving them a burial at sea, they’d need to travel inland to find a good place.
The Leaf genin were getting the pink haired girl to her feet when Kakashi glanced in their direction. If they were heading East, like he thought, it would be best for him to take Naruto West. Standing, Kakashi tucked the scrolls back into his pack and looked down at Naruto again.
He’d dried his tears but he still looked miserable. It made Kakashi’s chest hurt. Naruto was a ray of sunshine and optimism, miserable wasn’t a word that belonged to him.
“Sakura,” the Nara boy’s voice hissed sharply.
Kakashi glanced toward the genin as small footsteps approached. The pink haired girl stopped several hundred feet away, one arm wrapped around her wounded abdomen. Behind her, the rest of the genin stood tense, the blonde haired girl - she had to be a Yamanaka. Now that he was looking, Kakashi could see Inoichi in her face and eyes - had a hand hovering, as though she could pull the pink haired girl back to her.
“Thank you,” the pink haired girl said, her voice unbearably soft. She ducked her head in an imitation of a bow.
Kakashi hummed. “Congratulations on completing your mission.”
She smiled shyly and limped her way back to her team.
“Come on, Naruto,” Kakashi said, adjusting his back as he headed West.
It took a minute for him to realize Naruto wasn’t following him. Turning back, he found Naruto staring at the small group. The Nara boy was staring back as the Yamanaka girl and the other boy - if the Ino-Shika-Cho formation was still a go to for the clans, he was likely a Akimichi - ducked under the girl’s arms to help her walk.
“Don’t call Kashi that again,” Naruto said, his voice firm but not mean.
The Nara boy’s eyebrow rose.
Kakashi wasn’t sure what to call the strange, bubbling feeling in his chest. Naruto turned away from the group without another word, making his way to Kakashi’s side.
“Can we find somewhere they can watch the sunset?” Naruto asked softly.
Kakashi blinked down at him. Naruto’s face was solemn, his fists clenched at his sides. A grave deserved a view, he supposed. Especially for someone who had never been given a choice.
"Yeah," Kakashi said, voice softer than he intended. He shoved his hands into his pockets to avoid pulling Naruto into a hug. "Yeah, I think we can do that."
Kashi found them the perfect spot. The cliff overlooked a forest and the sunset spilled over it in a beautiful orange glow. Kashi drove Zabuza's blade into the ground behind the headstone they made. Naruto did his best to scratch their names into the stones with a kunai while Kashi dug the graves and lowered their bodies in.
It was weird.
Naruto didn't know he could feel this sad over people he only knew for a few minutes. But, somehow, they managed to carve a giant hole in his heart.
"Too soft," Kurama hmphed.
Naruto ignored him, staring at the graves as Kashi stepped back next to him. His hand landed in Naruto's hair, a familiar and warm pressure, and Naruto leaned into him. Kashi was warm and steady. He was safe.
A breeze swept across them, the grass swaying softly.
"Kashi?"
"Hmm?"
"What Zabuza said. Are ninjas really only supposed to be tools?"
Silence. Its weight pressed down on Naruto's shoulders. Kashi's hand moved down Naruto's hair and wrapped around his shoulders.
"Some are. You won't be," Kashi whispered.
It was the most sure Naruto had ever heard him. Naruto sunk further into Kashi's side, wrapping his arms around Kashi's waist and clung on as tightly as he could.
If Kashi hadn't found him, would someone else have? If Kashi hadn't taken him in, would he have been like Haku?
"Kashi," Naruto whispered. "I'm glad you're my dad."
A small twitch raced through Kashi's body. His arm tightened, dragging Naruto closer. Naruto breathed a little easier as Kashi buried his nose in Naruto's hair.
"I'm glad you're my kid."
Notes:
I honestly had so much fun writing this chapter. Hopefully it turned out alright. You know I had to torment Kakashi a little bit with Haku - I really wish we'd been a bit more of that in the canon. You can't tell me that this man didn't immediately have some kind of minor flashback to Rin's death when Haku - a dark haired child - jumped in front of his chidori. I refuse to believe that and I will torment Kakashi for that!
Kakashi having no self worth and assuming he's not good enough to take care of Naruto is a theme that will continue throughout this series, no matter how many times people slap him upside the head for it. But this chapter its pretty obnoxious because I can't not make the comparison between this AU Kakashi and Zabuza - shinobi fed up with the ninja word finds and adopts young child and then travels aimlessly with them. They're the same, but oh so different.
I really struggled with who to put in the place of Team 7. At first I thought of it just being meaningless OCs but eventually decided this was a good chance to introduce some of the other canon characters. I can't tell if they feel OOC or if I've just read this chapter too many times. Ultimately, I decided to plop Sakura on Team 10. Where's Sasuke? Time shall tell!
Until next time, remember to stay healthy, stay sane, and stay safe out there!
Chapter 8: The Ghosts We Left Behind
Summary:
Gaara of the Sand makes a friend...
Notes:
I'm so excited for this chapter! I hope you guys enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it
We've only jumped forward a few months, so Naruto is still 12!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"What are you doing?"
Naruto's small hands - well, not so small anymore. He was growing up. Almost thirteen and Kakashi wasn't sure what to do with that. Gone was the little boy that looked up at him with awe and amazement and Kakashi was so unbelievably proud of who Naruto was becoming. But he missed that little boy some days - wrapped around Kakashi's arm and he felt the pulse of chakra swirling through him.
"Fixing you," Naruto said, as though the answer was obvious. "Kurama says your chakra reserves are shit."
Kakashi bristled. "Don't say shit and tell the furball to watch his mouth."
"Aw, Kashi," Naruto whined, pouting out his lower lip. "But you and Pervy Sage say it all the time."
Kakashi raised an unimpressed eyebrow. Naruto furrowed his eyebrow but continued to push chakra into Kakashi.
"So why the chakra?" Kakashi asked, waving toward the hands still pressed against his arm.
"Cause your chakra reserves are bad," Naruto grumbled. "Kurama says if we do this they'll get better. Then we don't gotta worry 'bout you gettin' chakra exhaustion all the time."
"Hey now, it isn't all the time."
"It's all the time, Kashi."
Kakashi glowered at his son but allowed the chakra to keep pulsing. The older Naruto got, the mouthy he got. No doubt Kurama had a bit to do with that. Kakashi wasn't always passing out from chakra exhaustion, they had just been seeing an increase in difficult opponents over the years. Which meant more intensive jutsu with a lot more chakra requirements.
"And Kurama says he's sick of having to save you."
Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. "That furball hasn't saved me in weeks."
"That's cause we're givin' you lots of chakra."
Kakashi sighed and glanced up at the sky, asking the Sage for patience. Clouds floated lazily along as the sunset, purples and pinks fading to dark reds and blacks. Beside him, the fire crackled lazily.
"Hey, Kashi?" Naruto dropped his hands and leaned back, his lips twisting uncertainly.
"Hmm?"
"You said we're goin' back to the Leaf Village, right?"
"Just for a few hours."
It was reckless, Kakashi knew. There was nothing to gain visiting the Leaf other than his own conscience. Rin's family had left the Leaf years ago. Was someone still cleaning her grave? Bringing her flowers? Had anyone stopped to talk to Obito at the Memorial Stone?
"But, I thought we weren't allowed there."
"We aren't." Kakashi sighed. "But it's the Chunin exam, so most of the Jonin will be busy there. And since competitors come from all over, it'll be much easier to slip in." Kakashi ruffled his hair. "Don't worry, we're just going to the cemetery and then straight out, okay?"
"We don't gotta see anyone?"
Kakashi shook his head. "Not a soul."
"Not even the villagers?"
Every inch of Kakashi's body softened. "Of course not. And even if we did, you know I wouldn't let them hurt you."
"I know," Naruto swiped halfheartedly at Kakashi’s hand, forcing a grin. "N' I don't need you to protect me, Kashi. I'm strong."
Kakashi studied him. He was strong. Stronger than Kakashi had ever been at his age. Strong enough to handle himself. But that didn’t mean Kakashi would ever stop protecting him.
"Of course you are," he agreed softly.
The world trembled around them. Naruto stumbled, falling straight into Kashi’s side, and almost jumped at the loud, angry roar that split the air. Inside him, Kurama tensed. His chakra pulsed, already trying to wrap around Naruto and Kashi.
“Shukaku,” Kurama muttered.
“Who’s that?”
Kashi straightened, his brow furrowing as he looked around them. He kept a hand on Naruto’s arm, holding him steady as the ground shook again. There was no panic - Kashi never panicked - but he didn’t look real happy either. And Naruto didn’t like that. Kashi really only looked unhappy like this - eye narrowed with suspicion, shoulders and back tense, grip on Naruto firm - was when he thought there was trouble.
“A tailed beast.”
“What’s wrong?” Kashi asked as Naruto started in surprise.
Another roar rippled through the air. The earth shook angrily and something boom ed in the distance. Like hundreds of rocks were tumbling down.
“Kurama said its a tailed beast.”
Kashi’s eye widened just a bit. “In the Leaf?”
He still wasn’t panicking but Naruto could hear Kashi’s voice go up a little bit, the way he did when Pervy Sage said something he wasn’t supposed to. His grip on Naruto tightened a bit and his whole body went tense.
“It isn’t a good idea,” Kurama said.
“What isn’t?” Naruto asked.
“Him. He wants to go help them. But it isn’t a good idea.”
Naruto blinked, staring up at Kashi. Every muscle in his body was sharp, ready to strike, like it got when Kashi was worried there were missing-nin in the trees. Kurama’s words suddenly made sense, like a sharp kunai in the gut.
Kashi wanted to go. To help.
Help the Leaf.
“Naruto,” Kashi said, dragging him toward a thicker part of the trees. His hand tightened around Naruto’s arm and his eye flickered toward the roaring chase in the distance. “Stay here.”
“What? Why?”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can be.”
Naruto’s heart kicked against his ribs. He lunged before he even thought about it, his hand snatching the back of Kashi’s vest. He pulled, hard, and Kashi stumbled. “No! You can’t go anywhere!”
“Naruto,” Kashi’s voice was tight and kind of annoyed.
“You can’t go,” Naruto repeated. “You said we didn’t have to go into the village!”
“You don’t.” Kashi shook Naruto’s hand off. “You’re going to stay right here and wait for me.”
”No,” Kurama said firmly. ”Shukaku is too powerful. It isn’t safe for him to go, Kit.”
If Kurama was nervous that meant this was really bad. Kashi could get hurt and Naruto wouldn’t let that happen. They were shinobi and he knew that meant that Kashi could get hurt. But with how nervous Kurama sounded, Naruto was worried this wasn’t a hurt he or Pervy Sage could help with.
“You can’t go either!”
“Naruto,” Kashi pulled away again and turned to look down at Naruto with a strange look in his eye. It looked kinda like how Kashi looked when Naruto got hurt. Desperate, Pervy Sage once said the look was called. Kashi looked desperate. And Naruto hated it. “There’s no one in the village that’s strong enough to take on a tailed beast. They’ll all die without help.”
“But what if you die?”
The question stopped Kashi and the desperate look turned kind of surprised. Like he hadn’t considered that as an option.
“I don’t want you to die, Kashi.”
For a long, agonizing moment, neither of them moved. Even Kurama was quiet. Then Kashi’s hand ruffled his hair.
“Naruto,” Kashi whispered. “I… That’s not how the world works. I know it’s scary, but if I turn my back on those who need help every time things are dangerous, I wouldn’t be a shinobi anymore. And, they’re still my village.”
“Then I’ll go with you!”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I said so.”
“That isn’t an answer, Kashi.”
“No.”
“Why not!”
“Because if something happened to you, I wouldn’t survive it!”
Kashi’s words were sharp and angry. They cut through the air, echoing harsher than even Shukaku’s angry roars, and slam into Naruto’s chest. He could feel the fear. Which felt wrong because Kashi didn’t get scared. He got nervous, sure, but not scared. Never scared.
Kurama huffed in annoyance in Naruto’s head. ”Idiot.”
“Neither would I,” Naruto’s voice and eyes swam with tears. “What would I do without you?” He stamped his foot, his fists clenching until his fingernails cut into his palm. “It's not fair that I don’t get to leave you, but you get to leave me!”
“I’m not trying to leave you.” Kashi sighed heavily. “Naruto, listen-”
”Let me talk to him,” Kurama huffed. ”I’ll take care of this idiot, Kit.”
Naruto didn’t think. His brain spun and ached. Everything was wrong and fast. He felt angry and scared and sad, all of it swirling around and around. Letting Kurama talk was easier. Kurama was smarter and he knew just how to yell at Kashi.
“-a child and I’m -” Kashi was saying.
“Oh, shut it,” Kurama snarled.
Kashi’s mouth clicked shut, his eye widening slightly before he let out a sharp huff of disgust and looked away. “Look, Furball , there’s not time-”
“Damn right.” Kurama jabbed Naruto’s thumb against his chest. “And if you want to save your shitty little village, then listen . Shukaku isn’t some summon you can beat the chakra outta. It takes a tailed beast to stop a tailed beast. Naruto and I are coming.”
Kashi glared at him but he didn’t argue. Which was a first. Normally Kashi argued with Kurama. They never agreed on stuff, especially not when Kurama said Naruto should get to do dangerous things.
“Tch,” Kurama growled slightly. “You humans are all so willing to throw your lives away you don’t even bother to see what they’re worth. You know how much I’d have to listen to the kit cry if you go off and die fighting Shukaku? I’m not listening to that .”
Even under his mask, Kashi’s whole face twitched in that angry look. His nose scrunched up and for a moment, Naruto thought he was going to yell at Kurama and say no. Then he let out a sharp huff.
“Fine,” he growled. “But you stay close. You listen to me. Both of you.”
Kashi landed first, a lot more gracefully than Naruto. The ground trembled beneath them, trees rattling, dust and debris filling the air. It was had to see but squinting through the wreckage of broken trees and crushed stone, he could see the hulking figure of Shukaku. He was massive, twisted, covered in sand. Both his arms were elongated, claws the size of swords. But Naruto didn’t pay much attention to his size.
“He’s like me,” the whisper left his lips before he really thought about it.
Not Shukaka. Shukaka was like Kurama. But the boy Shukaka was taking over, he was like Naruto. His once-human face had stretched into something unnatural, barely recognizable as human at all. Most of his red hair had vanished into the sand. But his eyes made something in Naruto’s stomach twist. Full of rage - no, hurt.
He was hurting.
Just like Naruto had.
Just like Kurama had.
Shukaku roared.
Kashi moved before Naruto did, a sharp growl in his wake. He wasn’t aiming for Shukaku but for the ground at his feet. Squinting through the dust, Naruto spotted several small bodies laying near Shukaku’s feet. There were at least three, no four. And Shukaku was already swinging for them and Kashi.
“Kurama!” Naruto called, springing forward.
Kurama’s chakra exploded around him, flickering a brilliant red-orange as it took the shape of a fox. The nine tails caught Shukaku’s arm, freezing it in place as Kashi snatched the kids and moved them out of the way. All of them were around Naruto’s age, red speckled across their still but breathing bodies.
Shukaku’s anger shook the ground around him. The bright blue eye glared at Naruto, howling with hurt and fear.
“Naruto,” Kashi called.
“We’ve got it,” Naruto said, glancing over his shoulder.
Kashi had settled the kids at the base of a large tree, half hovering over them. He looked nervous, a look Naruto had learned to read. When he was young and naive, he thought Kashi never got scared or nervous but now it was easy to see that Kashi was almost always nervous. At least he was when it came to Naruto.
But he didn’t need to be. Naruto had Kurama.
Kashi’s visible eye narrowed. Even beneath his mask, Naruto could see Kashi’s jaw tightening.
Trust me , Naruto wanted to shout. I’m strong! I have Kurama! Let me protect you too.
“Naruto!” Kurama snarled. “Forget about the brat and pay attention!”
Naruto swung his head back around as Shukaka swung at him again. With a yelp, he leapt out of the way and the other arm slammed into the ground. The earth cracked with a mighty gowl, splintering.
Lightning crackled. “Chidori!”
Kashi’s electric blue hand slammed into the tailed beast’s arm. Shukaku howled with rage and his other arm clipped Kashi’s side. Naruto could already smell the metallic scent of Kashi’s blood before he slammed into another tree.
“Shit,” Kurama growled.
“Kashi!”
Naruto’s stomach clenched. For half a second, his breathing hitched.
Kurama’s chakra pulsed through him, angry and protective, whipping and weaving around him. Gritting his teeth, Naruto flung himself forward. Shukaku barely had time to reacted before Naruto’s fist slammed into his gut. The impact sent them both flying. They crashed into the dirt, rolling, sand twisting wildly around them. What was left of the boy’s face twisted, from pain Naruto thought.
Because he was hurting.
“Let me,” Kurama growled.
“Yeah.” Naruto agreed easily.
The world faded for a moment - his body and thoughts floating in relaxing darkness.
“Enough, Shukaku.” Kurama’s firm, absolute growl cut through the darkness and Naruto forced himself to focus.
The half formed beast in front of them remained still for a minute before he laughed, a twisted sound. Naruto couldn’t tell if it was an angry pity or mocking - it sounded like it was somewhere in between. Like the other missing-nin laughed at Kashi sometimes. Naruto’s stomach twisted angrily.
“The great Nine-Tails,” Shukaku’s voice was high pitched, nothing like Kurama’s deep growl, but still menacing, “tamed by a brat . Now that, I didn’t see coming.”
Kurama growled.
“You’re going to protect these humans .” Shukaku spat it like an insult. Naruto wondered if, to him, it was. “Fine. You’ll die with them.”
Shukaku’s large arm swung at them and Kurama roared. Naruto tried not to flinch. He knew his throat would hurt later, when he was back. He hated it when Kurama roared when he was in control.
The chakra swirling around Naruto’s body caught Skukaku’s attack with ease, clinging onto throw him as far as he could. Orange and red flared around them and Kurama lunged forward. Each strike shook around Naruto and he watched Kurama throw them against Shukaku, swiping away sand.
“Careful!” Naruto ordered as Kurama’s claw nicked the part of Shukaku’s jinchuuriki that still looked human. “We don’t want to hurt them, Kurama!”
“Says who?” the fox snarled back.
“Says me! They’re not bad, Kurama. They’re just hurt, like you were.”
Kurama growled again but avoided striking the jinchuuriki again.
Half of the forest was destroyed by the time Shukaku stopped lunging back. The tailed beast hit his knees, twisting and roaring angrily as he began to shrink away, features twisting back to a human form.
“You think you won,” Shukaku snarled, his one yellow eye narrowed as he glared at Naruto and Kurama, “but you’re the one who lost , Kurama. To be the pet to a human brat. Pathetic.”
Naruto grit his teeth, shoving away Kurama’s control over his body. The tinge of forcing himself back - like trying to wake a sleeping limb - washed over him with uncomfortable speed but Naruto ignored it. His chest pounded with rage, hot and demanding. Kurama growled in protest but allowed Naruto full control. His nails bit into his palm as he glared at the shrinking tailed beast.
“Don’t you ever call Kurama a pet!” Naruto shouted. “He’s my friend. My best friend! And just because you’re hurt doesn't mean you get to be a jerk.”
Something warm blossomed in Naruto’s chest. It was Kurama’s, wrapping around him with the same warm of his chakra.
Shukaku stared without response until the yellow faded to blue and his canines morphed back into human teeth. The redhead boy fell backward, hitting the ground with a deafening thud. Naruto stood frozen for a minute, his chest heaving. A soft wind swept over them, kicking up the loose sand laying around the ruined battlefield. It settled around the boy, like it was trying to guard him from Naruto as he inched forward.
The redhaired boy was breathing. Or, more-so, panting. His eyes - bluer than the sky above them - were barely open. Injuries covered him, cuts that wept blood and bruises that had already begun to form. His am probably wasn’t supposed to be that angle either.
Despite all of that, the boy managed to pull his lips up in a sneer as Naruto came to a stop beside him. It was a mean look.
A hurt look.
Naruto smiled back at him. “Hi. I’m Naruto Uzumaki!”
The boy didn’t answer, his lip still curled.
But that was okay. Kurama did that too when Naruto first introduced himself.
“I’m not so good at first aid,” Naruto admitted, squatting down beside him. “Kashi’s way better at - oh, shit, Kashi!”
Naruto’s stomach lurched. HIs limbs felt slow and heavy but he forced himself up right to look around. The tree with the Kashi-shaped dent was empty.
For a brief, awful second, his mind went blank. Kashi was gone.
No. No. No, no, no, n-
Kurama huffed. “There,” he said and Naruto felt a nudge against his left side.
He turned his head and found Kashi kneeling beside a black haired boy in a blue shirt - the only one of the group of kids they’d rescued that was awake. The boy glared up at Kashi but Kashi ignored him as he wrapped up the kid’s bloody leg.
Naruto let out a breath. “Oh, good,” he muttered and collapsed onto his butt as weakness took over his legs. “Man, I forgot how tired I get after.” he looked down at the boy beside him. “You too, huh? You’re not hurt too bad, right?”
More glaring.
Just like Kurama.
Briefly, Naruto wondered if this was what Obito felt like when he was trying to be friends with a younger, grumpier Kashi.
“Kashi’ll take care of us in a minute,” Naruto told him. “Hey, what’s your name?”
Still glaring.
Naruto let out a breath and let himself fall back beside the boy to stare up at the cloudy sky. “Hmm, well, I’m Naruto Uzumaki,” he said again. “Kurama said you’re like me, huh? Shukaku seems kind of mean though. Does he not know you guys are friends?”
“Shukaku is not my friend,” the boy growled. His voice was raspy, probably from all Shukaku’s roaring. “He’s the monster locked inside me.” His blue eyes moved to look at Naruto. “Aren’t you going to kill us?”
“Kill you?” Naruto blinked. “Why would I do that? Hey, I told you, didn’t I? Kurama and I are like you guys.”
The boy huffed. “So you’re a monster too. Lucky us.”
“No. I’m not a monster.”
Naruto hadn’t thought of himself as a monster in years. Not since he was very young. He hadn’t thought of Kurama as that either. Maybe that was what people called them, but that didn’t mean it was who they were.
“You’re not either, ya know,” Naruto told him.
The boy stiffened. “You know nothing .”
Naruto shrugged. “I mean, I don’t know a lot, but I don’t know if its nothing . The village used to hate me, ya know? I mean, they still do. They called me a monster all the time.” His chest squeezed for a moment. He could remember the sneers and angry words. The confusion and the hurt . His voice dipped closer to a whisper. “I really didn’t like it. Being alone sucks.” He looked down at the boy. “Are you alone?”
Silence.
Glaring.
And then, “they hated you and you saved them.”
It wasn’t a question. More of an angry observation.
Naruto nodded anyway. “Of course. Just cause they call me a monster doesn’t mean I have to be one.”
The glaring broke for a minute. The boy’s thin red eyebrows furrowed, as though he was trying to understand the words.
“I used to be really lonely,” Naruto told him. “And I hurt a lot. But then, I met Kashi. I think he was lonely too. And we decided to be lonely together. He never hated me. He was never mean to me and never yelled at me. Even though he knew about Kurama. Everyone called him a monster too, ya know? They call him the “demon fox”, which is really funny cause Kurama’s kind of a softy.”
“Hey!” Kurama snapped. “Don’t tell him that, Naruto! I’m supposed to inspire fear!”
Naruto laughed and turned to look at the boy again. He kept staring up at the sky, his brow furrowed.
“Hey,” Naruto said, grinning. “Let’s be friends, kay?”
The boy blinked and finally turned his head to look at Naruto with wide eyes. “I just tried to kill you.”
Naruto shrugged. “You didn’t. Besides, lots of people who are mean are just hurt. Being lonely hurts. I know. But you don’t have to be lonely anymore, ya know? I’ll be your friend!”
Footsteps crunched against the ground before the boy could respond. Tension wracked his entire body, like he was ready for someone to appear out of nowhere and stab him in the gut. Naruto blinked, watching the way his blue eyes squeezed close in anticipation.
“Naruto,” Kashi’s voice was soft as he squatted down on Naruto’s empty side. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah.” Naruto grinned up at Kashi.
His dad didn’t look too worse for the wear. A little bit of blood trickled down his forehead, into his eye, and was smeared across his skin from where Kashi tried to brush it away. One of his arms was wrapped loosely around his ribs - he probably broke them again. Kashi was always breaking his ribs. Almost as much as he was always chakra exhausted - but he was alive. He was okay.
“Kashi, I made a friend!” Naruto grinned.
Kashi’s bloody eyebrow raised. “Oh?” he said dryly, his gaze moving to the red haired boy.
“Yeah, this is - Oh, hey, you gotta tell me your name.” Naruto nudged his new friend with his elbow.
Blue eyes stared at him and Kashi like they were the strangest puzzle in the world. A long pause of silence followed. “Gaara,” he finally said slowly.
Naruto grinned. “Gaara!” he echoed, glancing back up at Kashi. “Kashi, this is my new friend, Gaara. Gaara, this is my dad, Kashi!”
Even under all the red smears of blood, Naruto could make out the little dusting of pink Kashi’s cheek always got when Naruto called him “my dad”. He covered it up well, like he always did, his eyebrow raising a little higher and his eye looking even more tired than usual.
Gaara’s brow furrowed again, his fingers twitching against the ground. “Your dad?” he whispers, so quiet Naruto almost missed it. He doubted Kashi heard it at all.
“Uh huh,” Kashi sighed. “Nice to meet you, Gaara. Let me look at that.”
Kashi pulled his old medical kit out of his pack. Naruto really didn’t understand why he didn’t just get a new one. All the fabric was frayed and falling apart, even the patches Kashi put on were falling off.
“It was a gift,” Kashi would say when Naruto asked why he didn’t just get a new one. Like that explained everything.
“You’re not,” Gaara muttered, his voice still raspy, “going to kill me?”
“You gonna hurt my kid?” Kashi asked as he pulled out his waterskin.
Gaara blinked slowly and shook his head.
“Great.” Kashi’s eye closed in his cheerful smile. “Then I have no reason to kill you. Here, drink a little water. I’m going to set your arm.”
Kashi made quick work of Gaara’s injuries. He treated Gaara like he treated Naruto, soft when he could be, quick when he couldn’t be. Gaara was tense the whole time, like he was waiting for Kashi to rebreak his arm, just for the fun of it.
“There,” Kashi’s eye smiled. “If you’re anything like Naruto, it shouldn’t take long for you to start healing so your arm won’t give you too much trouble.” He glanced over toward the tree where he’d left the other kids and Naruto followed his gaze.
The black haired boy was still sitting up, glaring at them, and the three beside him - all wrapped in various bandages - were beginning to stir.
“Naruto, we should get going. It sounds like things have calmed down in the village. It won’t be long until their jonin come to find them.” Kashi pushed himself up. The breeze ruffled his silver hair, sending a few strands into the dried blood on his forehead. “Gaara, will you be alright? Is someone going to come for you?”
Again, Gaara looked at Kashi like he’d grown a second head but he nodded slowly. “My siblings.”
“Good. Naruto, come on.”
Naruto really didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay and talk to Gaara more. Friends talked a lot, after all. But he also really didn’t want to have to see anyone from the village.
“Okay.” Naruto grinned at Gaara. “We’ll see each other soon, okay? Friends see each other all the time. Bye, Gaara!”
“I’m sorry we didn’t get to stop by the cemetery.”
Kakashi bit back a sigh and ruffled Naruto’s hair. “It’s alright. Some things are more important than grief.”
And atonement, but Naruto didn’t need to worry about anything like that. Their camp was a little closer to the Leaf than Kakashi would normally let them stay but Naruto insisted. He wanted to wait for Gaara. And Kakashi was a weak man, so he couldn’t resist.
Naruto might have made a friend. A friend that wasn’t a demon fox spirit locked inside him.
A friend his own age. A friend he could relate to.
Even if the friend was a slightly terrifying Sand shinobi that almost killed 4 Leaf genin. The almost was the key, Kakashi kept telling himself. Naruto had stopped him. Naruto and Kurama.
With talking
Not a traditional shinobi technic, but Kakashi couldn't deny it's effect.
“Kashi?”
“Hmm?”
“You got that look on your face.”
“Oh? And what look is that?”
“The one you used to have when I told you about Kurama.”
Kakashi hummed again. Naruto heaved a dramatic sigh and flopped against Kakashi's side.
“What are you thinkin’ about?”
“You,” Kakashi ruffled his hair. “And what an enigma you are. All those years begging me to teach you ninjutsu and you talked your way out of danger.”
Naruto's big blue eyes blinked up at him. “Of course. I didn't haveta fight Gaara.”
But how did he know that? Was it an instinct? Something Naruto could sense deep in his gut? A lucky guess?
Kakashi sighed. “An enigma,” he muttered, tugging Naruto against his side.
The brush at the edge of their camp rustled. Gaara stiffened, his fingers tightening into fists as he stared at the movement. Kankuro and Temari tensed as well, already reaching for their weapons.
They'd all been waiting for this.
Sure the Leaf said they were free to go. Everything had been Orochimaru and while Shukaku had rampage a little bit, they understood that jinchuuriki lost control sometimes. Besides, Gaara and Shukaku hadn't killed anyone.
But he knew it was a lie.
Gaara was a monster and anyone who got a chance to hunt him would.
It was only a matter of time before Temari and Kankuro picked up where their father had left off. All their feigned concern and gentle voices would vanish one day, the day they drove a knife through-
“It is you! Hi Gaara!”
Blond and orange flashed in the dim firelight as the boy from yesterday appeared. Naruto Uzumaki.
He grinned at Gaara, bounding forward without care or regard for Gaara's siblings, who had snatched up their weapons.
“Kurama said just to follow the smell of sand. Didya know you smell like sand? Kurama says it's Shukaku's fault. I guess he always smells like sand. But you're Sand shinobi right? Kashi said you were.”
The blond continued to babble as he plopped beside Gaara in front of the fire. Gaara's first instinct was to flinch away, eyes searching for a flicker of steel in the firelight. But Naruto didn't appear to have any weapons.
“Oh,” Naruto seemed to finally see Kankuro and Temari. “Hi! I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I'm gonna be the greatest ninja ever . Are you guys Gaara's siblings? He said you'd come find him. I'm glad you did! The villagers are kinda jerks. But Kashi always says that’s on them, not me. So its not on you either, kay Gaara?”
Kankuro and Temari both glanced at Gaara, uncertainly. They seemed equally as confused as Gaara was.
“Uh, Gaara?” Kankuro asks, inching closer.
Gaara could hear the question in his voice but he didn't have an answer. Not really. Not for the first time in his life, his voice failed him.
“Oh, right,” Naruto grinned, glancing at Kankuro and Temari again. “I'm supposed to ask your names, right? Kashi says I'm supposed to but I always forget cause I ramble a lot.”
“Kashi?” Kankuro raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, my dad! He said he was gonna go see if Pervy Sage was around and he'd be back to get me in an hour or so.”
“And what exactly are you doing here?” Temari's voice was sharp as a blade, cool as ice.
“I came to see Gaara,” Naruto responded, as though it should have been obvious. “We're friends! So that means we gotta know stuff about each other. Like favorite foods. I like ramen! Instant ramen is okay but I like stand ramen much better. We don't have it a lot but Kashi gets it for me when we're in villages. He makes me get lots of vegetables in it though, which I don 't like.”
Gaara stares at the blond, watching him throw his hands about animatedly as he rambled about Kashi and Kurama and ramen. He kept his ears peeled, waiting for the shift in the wind, for leaves to rustle as someone moved toward them.
It didn't come.
Kankuro and Temari eventually sat down, glancing at each other and then Gaara before they looked back at Naruto as he continued to ramble. He spoke easily, confidently. Like it was the most natural thing in the world to sit next to a monster and tell them your life story.
To call them your friend.
Gaara's hand fell to his abdomen. The seal was invisible now, it only appeared when it was on the edge of weakening.
Naruto talked about his own tailed beast with ease.
Kurama.
Not a monster.
A friend.
Was that possible?
For a monster to have a friend?
“-and then Pervy Sage helped me make the Gale Clones. They're like Shadow Clones but better !”
“Naruto!” the soft, sing song voice cut off Naruto's tale like a sharp blade.
Gaara started. He shouldn't have. He should have been on his guard, should have been ready for anything. But Naruto's ramblings had somehow lulled him into a false sense of security.
Shit.
Gaara’s head snapped up. Temari and Kankuro had already reached for weapons. At least the person had given themselves away early -
Wait.
Why had they given themselves away?
Naruto moaned. “Aw, Kashi.”
Wild silver hair caught the firelight as a tall man stepped out of the trees. Gaara recognized him with ease.
Kashi.
Naruto's father.
The man that had been gentle with Gaara.
No one was ever gentle with Gaara.
Now that he was well rested, Kashi was easier to see. Only his right eye was visible. The bottom half of his face was covered by a mask and his left eye was covered by a haiti-ate with the Leaf’s symbol crossed out. His scarred flak jacket had seen better days, only half zipped, and Gaara could see the patchwork around his undershirt and pants.
Strange.
Naruto's clothes looked fresh and clean but Kashi's looked like he'd been wearing and repairing them for years. Likely it was easier for Naruto to buy things than his missing-nin father.
“I gave you ninety minutes,” Kashi said, hands shoved into his pockets. His voice was fond and his single visible eye found Gaara in seconds. “Hello, Gaara. How's the arm?”
Was he asking about Gaara's wellbeing?
Silence floated around them, broken only by the occasional crackle from the fire. After a moment, Gaara found his voice.
“Fine.”
He should probably add thank you onto the end of that but Kashi and Naruto had managed to scramble his brain enough that he could only manage the single word
Kashi's eye crinkled. Gaara assumed that meant he was smiling. “Good. I suppose that's one plus side to being a jinchuuriki.”
“Yeah!” Naruto grinned. “Having an all the time friend is one too. But Shukaku’s kinda mean. Maybe Kurama needs to teach him how to be friends.”
“Oh? Should I arrange a play date for the furball?” Kashi sounded somewhere between fond and mocking.
“You're Kakashi Hatake,” Kankuro said tensely.
Gaara glanced up at his brother, noting the way all traces of the relaxation Naruto had brought them had vanished.
Kakashi Hatake.
The name sounded familiar. Gaara searched his memories for it, finding it quicker than he thought he would. The Copy-Ninja. Friend Killer Kakashi of the Sharigan.
Somehow the name didn’t match the man in front of him.
“Nice to meet you.” Kashi's eye smiled at them again. “Thank you for entertaining Naruto for a few hours. I know he can be a lot.”
“Kashi!” Naruto whined, already up and bounding toward his father.
Kashi ruffled his hair. “Say goodbye, Naruto. We have to be up early.”
Naruto groaned.
“Sorry kiddo.” Kashi sounded more amused than sorry. “We'll get ramen on our way through.”
“Fiiine.” Naruto turned to grin back at Gaara. “Bye Gaara! Bye Kankuro, Temari. I'll come visit you again, ‘kay. Maybe we can bring you guys ramen?”
Kashi chuckled. “I'm sure we can manage that.”
Gaara stared after Naruto and Kashi long after they vanished into the forest. Ninety minutes. Naruto had sat down and talked to him for ninety minutes. And he hadn't once tried to kill Gaara.
“What the hell was that?” Kankuro finally muttered.
Both his siblings’ eyes bore into him. Gaara swallowed hard and looked up at them.
“Did I?” He paused, turning the question over in his mind because it couldn't be. “Did I make a friend?”
Temari and Kankuro stared at him for a long minute, neither of them daring to speak. And then, Kankuro's lips curled in what might have been a smile.
“Yeah,” he said. “I think you did, Gaara.”
Notes:
I love Gaara, which like is there anyone who doesn't love Gaara? If there is, you're wrong (ᗒᗜᗕ). Kakashi struggling to come to terms with the idea that Naruto is a) strong enough to protect himself b) growing up and c) able to talk a blind man into buying a picture book is something that will continue throughout the rest of this series. Because boy does he struggle with it!
So, this was supposed to be the last chapter but then I decided it wasn't anymore. Oops! The next chapter is almost done and will wrap up the story nicely, I think.
Until next time, remember to stay healthy, stay sane, and stay safe out there!
Chapter 9: The Paths We Follow
Summary:
The more things change...
Notes:
Wow, I can't believe we're already on the final chapter of this fic! I hope you enjoyed it! We get to see a little bit of Konoha, but not a ton. That's for the sequel ;)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sakura hated the rain. Somehow it always accompanied sad days and she was sick of sad days. A sea of black surrounded her, heads dipped in sorrow as they honored Lord Third. Sakura hated the rain but at least they hid her tears.
The Shinobi Handbook said shinobi don’t cry.
Ino had no such qualms, her shoulders quivering and her fist pressed against her eye to tame the tears. Silently, Sakura reached out to take her hand and squeeze softly. Ino squeezed back.
She’d always felt slightly out of place on Team 10. Asuma-sensei was great and he did his best to make sure Sakura felt like she belonged, that she got all the guidance she needed - from him for her taijutsu and from Kurenai-sensei for her genjutsu - but it was hard when she’d been shoved into the Ino-Shika-Cho team. At least Sasuke was on Team 3. Gai-sensei was - without a doubt - one of the strongest jonin in the village but his team didn’t carry any preset expectations.
“Stop crying, Ino,” Shikamaru scolded quietly, but there was no bite to his voice.
Sakura shot him a glare over Ino’s bowed head anyway.
The services continued, slow and painful. In the front rows, she could see Asuma-sensei, his hand resting on his nephew’s shoulder. Iruka-sensei knelt beside the boy, arm wrapped around his shoulder in silent support. Ino clung to Sakura’s hand for the rest of the services.
Hoards of people left the cemetery, inching forward at a snail’s pace. Whispers of mourning and anger and concern. Who would take over as Hokage? The Leaf was in a dangerous position now. No leadership, recovering from a horrible attack - not only that took their Hokage but destroyed half of their village.
“Sakura.”
She was pulled from her mourning from a flash of black hair and a blacker shirt. Sasuke stood at the cemetery gates, the rest of Team 3 behind him. Tenten had also been crying, based on her red eyes. Surprisingly, Lee’s eyes were remarkably dry though his face was grim. Neji looked as he always did, scowling as though the world had done him a personal wrong.
Most of the wounds from their encounter with the One-Tail were healed, though Tenten still had a bandage wrapped around her forearm and Lee’s bruises hadn’t faded from completely yet. It was still a miracle they’d managed to survive. How, Sakura still didn’t know. Whatever they’d told Gai-sensei and the other jonin had been kept hush hush.
“Let’s talk,” Sasuke said, taking her arm.
His grip was gentle but firm, fingers pressing against her skin in a familiar warmth. He’d grabbed her like that since they were kids, steering her where he wanted to go. And Sakura followed, as she always had.
Team 3 led her and her team to the training grounds. They were empty and wet, the Memorial Stone standing proudly at its center. Sakura knew several of the names on it. She’d visited several times when they were learning about the Third Great Shinobi War. So many people had lost their lives, their loved ones… their minds.
“What’s going on?” Shikamaru asked Sasuke, his eyebrows narrowed in a glare. “And why couldn’t we talk about it inside ? I’m soaked.”
Sasuke ignored him, turning his attention to Sakura. “Your mission to the Land of Waves,” he said. “You guys said someone helped you but Lord Third told you you couldn’t say who.”
Ordered, not told.
Lord Third hadn’t looked overly surprised when Shikamaru told him that they’d been saved from Zabuza by none other than Friend-Killer Kakashi. If anything, he looked rather sad. Asuma-sensei had looked disturbed though. Sakura still remembered stumbling to find him, telling him the story in rushed, trembling words and watching his face go pale. He’d ordered them to wait for him and then vanished, apparently off to find Kakashi Hatake himself, only to return empty handed.
“Tell no one,” Lord Third had said firmly. “This is an S-rank secret. I hope I can trust you all to keep it.”
The unsaid “or there will be consequences” had lingered in the air long after they left the Hokage’s office.
“Was it Kakashi Hatake?”
Sakura froze. She sensed her team tensing behind her at the name. How had he known? Had someone given it away or -
“That’s how you survived the One-Tail,” Sakura breathed. “He saved you too.”
“More or less,” Neji grumbled.
“It was less Hatake,” Lee said quietly. “And more the blond boy he had with him. Though, Hatake did tend to our wounds.”
Sasuke stared at Sakura, eyes searching for an answer she didn’t have.
Why ?
Friend-Killer Kakashi had saved them.
Why?
“Over my dead body.”
Jiraiya had the nerve to look surprised. As though he were asking to borrow a little bit of money, not cart Kakashi’s kid all over Konoha in search of an alcoholic Sannin with a gambling addiction. The campfire crackled between them, trying to fill the awkward, surprised silence that hung in the air between them. Naruto slept on, curled under his blankets on his sleeping mat with Kurama’s chakra pulsing through his seal like a heartbeat.
“Well,” Jiraiya said after a long minute. “That’s a bit dramatic, even for you.”
Kakashi glared into the fire to avoid glaring at the Sannin. Every ounce of him itched to throw Jiraiya out of camp for the mere mention but he cracked his knuckles and let out a low breath.
“Come on, Kakashi. It’s not like I’m kidnapping him. It’s just for a mission.”
That earned him a glare. Kakashi clenched his jaw, fingers fisting in his pant legs. “I’m not letting you take him traipsing all over Leaf Territory on a whim.”
“It isn’t a whim.” There was an edge to Jiraiya’s voice now. “And this is bigger than you and your feelings, Kakashi.”
Every inch of Kakashi itched to drive a kunai through the older man. Whether he was ignorant of the killing intent Kakashi let roll off him or just didn’t care, Jiraiya pressed on.
“The Akatsuki are starting to make their moves, Kakashi. Itatchi Uchiha broke into the Leaf not a week after Lord Third’s death. And I have to keep digging. I can’t do that if I’m stuck in meetings and diplomacy circles trying to convince Tsunade to come back and put on the hat.”
“I don’t see how any of that is Naruto’s job.”
“Oh, come on, Kakashi. If anyone can get through to her, it’s him. He’s the only person I’ve ever met that can look at a mess and see something worth fixing. And you’ve said it yourself. The kid can talk a blind man into a picture book.”
“You’re asking me to let my kid wander around Leaf territory with a bunch of shinobi terrorist on the loose,” Kakashi snapped. “Without me.”
“No. I’m trusting you to trust him. You raised a damn good kid, Kakashi. I know you see it.”
“Of course I do.”
“Then what’s the problem? You know that the Akatsuki aren’t going away. The Leaf is in danger.”
Kakashi stared into the fire again, searching for the thrumb of Kurama’s chakra to help ease the jittering anxiety beneath his skin. The Leaf was in a dangerous position, there was no denying that. Without a Hokage they were an easy target.
“I have to leave in the morning,” Jiraiya told him. “I’ve waited too long already. If you have another idea, I’m all ears.”
Naruto shifted in his sleep, smiling into his pillow and sinking lower into his bedroll.
The Leaf was in danger. The village his father had died for. His teammates had died for. His sensei had died for.
“I said no,” Kakashi repeated, quiet this time, but no less firm. “Call me selfish if you want. But if something happened to him out there, if I just let him walk into danger without me, I wouldn’t survive it.”
Something sharp flashed in Jiraiya’s gaze. “He isn’t a porcelain doll. He’s a shinobi.”
“He’s a kid .”
“The son of the greatest Hokage the Leaf had ever known,” Jiraiya started.
Something ignited in Kakashi’s chest - angry and feral. It shot through him, coiling up his limbs and launching him to his feet with rage he didn’t know he had. “He is my kid!” Kakashi snarled. “ Mine . Not some tool for you to bend and break and shape however the fuck you want for a village that never gave a damn!”
Jiraiya’s jaw ticked but at least he didn’t try to deny it.
“And in case you forgot, Minato is dead . He died believing that place was worth something. That it would protect his son. He trusted them and look what they did.”
“Kashi?” a sleepy voice murmured.
Kakashi’s breath caught and he turned to face Naruto as he sat up. The blankets were tangled around his legs, his hair messy, and he blinked blearily at them, though there was an annoyance underneath it all.
“Sorry,” Kakashi said automatically. “I didn’t mean to wake-”
“I wanna go.”
The flame in Kakashi’s chest dissipated. “Naruto.”
“ Please , Kashi.” Naruto rubbed the sleep from his eye with the heel of his hand. “Pervy Sage said he could teach me all sorts of new stuff. And if that Tsunade lady is gonna be Hokage, she’s gotta be really strong too. Beside, I can help the village. Just like you did.”
“It’s not the same, Naruto.”
“Why not? You fought a Tailed Beast to protect the Hidden Leaf. Why is me going off with Pervy Sage where you draw the line?”
“Because you are my village,” Kakashi said firmly. “I don’t give a shit about the Leaf if it costs me you .”
“I know you’re scared, Kashi. But I’ll have Kurama with me.”
“Naruto.”
“Please!”
“Come on, Kakashi,” Jiraiya said. “It’ll give you two a chance to work on this co-dependency.”
“Don’t start with me,” Kakashi snapped.
Naruto tugged on his sleeve. He looked up with Kakashi with a wide open expression, the one that gutted him deeper than any kunai ever could.
“You aren’t gonna lose me,” Naruto promised. “You taught me how to be strong. N’ how to be careful too. And how to protect the people I care about. Kashi, this is what you raised me to do. Let me do it.”
How could he?
Kakashi no longer saw Minato in Naruto. He hadn’t in a long time. Kakashi didn’t see his sensei in Naruto, didn’t see the Yellow Flash of the Leaf, the Hokage, the most powerful man he’d ever known.
He saw a four-year-old with sad blue eyes. “How come you’re nice to me? Nobody ever is.”
A six-year-old crying in his arms. “I’m a monster!”
A nine-year-old with a bad attitude. “I want my real dad!”
A ten-year-old with a wide, proud grin. “My dad’s the best teacher in the world.”
A somber twelve-year-old, leaning heavily into his side. “Kashi, I’m glad you’re my dad.”
“I’ll come back,” Naruto said again. “I promise, Kashi. I’ll always come back to you.”
Letting out a long breath, Kakashi scrubbed a hand down his face. “Jiraiya,” he said without looking away from Naruto. “If he so much as scratches his knuckles, I will track you down and you will not enjoy it.”
Jiraiya laughed.
The morning sun filtered through the trees, warm and golden. Birds chirped cheerfully and the cicadas sang their early summer song. It was too peaceful for the knot twisting in Kakashi’s stomach.
Naruto bounced on the balls of his feet, pack already slung over one shoulder, with a wide, easy grin. “Pervy Sage said Tsunade’s got really strong jutsu! She can punch a hole in the ground. Think she’ll teach me?”
“Sage, I hope not,” Kakashi muttered.
The last thing he needed was to worry about Naruto accidentally punching a hole through his chest during sparring. Letting him learn ninjutsu was bad enough. And Kakashi swore his ribs were still broken from their attempts to work on the Gale Clones.
Naruto laughed. “Ah, come on, Kashi. Don’t pout!”
Kakashi stared at him, memorizing him. The slope of his shoulder, the way his hair stuck up too much on one side. The way his jacket had one crooked patch Naruto had insisted on sewing on himself.
A flicker of red rippled into Naruto’s eyes. Kurama’s gravelly voice left his mouth. “Stop whining, brat. I’ll take care of him.”
Kakashi hummed.
Naruto’s mouth twisted as Kurama grumbled at him. “We’ve come too far for me to lose him now. You’re not the only one who cares.”
“Oh?” Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “Is that your way of telling me you’re worried too, furball?”
Kurama glared. “It's my way of telling you you’re an idiot. And I would die before I let anything happen to him.”
The words helped Kakashi breathe a bit easier. He nodded.
“Take care of yourself, Hatake.”
A warmth pulsed between them. Kakashi assumed it was the closest thing to an “I like you” he was ever going to get out of the fox spirit. Kurama stepped back, chakra receding, and Naruto grinned up at him.
The brightness overwhelmed him and a fondness so sharp rose in Kakashi’s chest he struggled to fight back the heartbreak roaring in his chest. Reaching forward, he cupped Naruto’s cheek, staring down at his son. “Two months,” he said, voice low and firm. “Not a day longer.”
Jiraiya huffed, slinging his own pack on. “If we aren’t back by then, you have my permission to burn the world down.”
“Don’t tempt me,” Kakashi warned dryly.
Naruto laughed, throwing his arms around Kakashi’s middle. “I’ll be back in two months, Kashi. Don’t worry so much.
Kakashi wrapped him up tightly, resting his chin on Naruto’s head. “With you? Impossible. Just, remember to eat something that isn’t ramen. And listen to Jiraiya. And don’t pick any fights you can’t win.”
Another warm, whoop of laughter filled the air. “All my fights are winnable!”
Kakashi hummed, letting Naruto slid away from him. “Of course they are.”
“I’ll be back, Kashi. Take care of yourself, kay? You gotta eat, every day. Oh, n’ here.” Naruto pressed a hand to Kakashi’s chest. The warm pulse of Kurama’s chakra washed over him, wrapping around him and pushing into every inch of his body. “Kurama says that should keep you safe for a bit. Don’t get chakra exhaustion, okay?”
“I’ll be alright, Naruto.”
“Yeah.”
Naruto’s fingers threaded in Kakashi’s worn flak vest. He rocked back and forth on his toes, as if knowing he had to go but unsure if he was ready to leave. Kakashi felt his pain.
“Go,” Kakashi whispered. “I’ll see you in two months.”
Naruto hugged him tightly again. “Bye, Kashi.”
“See you soon, kid.”
Naruto waved until the trees swallowed him whole, Jiraiya pausing to send Kakashi one last two-fingered salute. Kakashi swallowed hard. The forest fell still.
Kakashi stood frozen, staring at the spot they disappeared. He turned Jiraiya’s reasoning over in his mind. The Akatsuki. A dangerous group of missing-nin.
Itatchi Uchiha among them.
And he’d gone to the Hidden Leaf searching for Naruto.
“Alright then,” he whispered, letting out a long breath.
Pulling down his mask, he bit into his thumb. Pakkun appeared in a puff of smoke, head cocked to the side in question.
“What’s going on, Boss?”
“I’m trying something new,” Kakashi replied, reaching into his weapon’s pouch. “And I promised you I wouldn’t do it on my own.”
Pakkun raised a surprised eyebrow. They both knew that, despite the promise he made when he was twelve - when he’d created the chidori and literally sent himself into cardiac arrest, poor Gai finding him seizing and unresponsive -, Kakashi tried new jutsu on his own constantly.
But this one was different.
Even with Kurama’s departing gift, there was a possibility he could send himself straight into chakra exhaustion.
The kuani sat heavy in his hand. A little unconventional, Minato-sensei had once called it. Kakashi had never gotten used to it. But he hadn’t ever used it regularly either. Maybe now was his chance to.
“Wait, Kakashi,” Pakkun sat up. “The last time you tried this-”
“I was fourteen and stupid,” Kakashi interrupted, his fingers tightening around the kunai. “Let’s see how much chakra the furball left me with.”
Notes:
Thank you all so much for joining me on this journey. I really had so much fun writing it! I'm excited to keep going and I have some big, fun things planned! I hope you guys will join me. Chapter one of the sequel is in the works. Hopefully it'll be up in a week or so!
Until then remember to stay healthy, stay sane, and stay safe out there!
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Last Edited Sat 24 May 2025 05:39PM UTC
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