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In his past life, he wouldn't believe that this was where he would end up.
The car hummed, bringing him back to reality. He could taste the remnants of melted cotton candy ice cream from Sweetie’s. Kevin had called it disgustingly sweet, to which Isaac flicked his spoon and watched with glee as Kevin sputtered in indignation at the flick of sugary liquid.
Here Isaac Saetang was, on the trip to Columbia with the main characters of All for the Game on each side of him.
At the front was Aaron, Nicky and Kevin. Andrew was to his right, looking utterly uninterested in anything and everything. He could do that on and off of medication, which Isaac was quite impressed with. And to his left was Neil Josten, who was probably counting everything that would go wrong in his head like he always did.
Neil fucking Josten.
At the start, Isaac had no idea what had happened. The last thing he remembered was the distinct knowledge that he was dying before waking up. The past pain was a nonsensical blur, and he was pretty sure it was all a nightmare for the first few moments. Everything was fundamentally the same, except he’d immediately recognized the lack of his merch. It was only until he’d checked his email and noticed one congratulating him on his recent soccer scholarship to Palmetto State University that he realized hadn’t gotten robbed.
He thought it was a practical joke, until he’d searched up the word exy and found out it wasn’t.
His heart could've leaped out of his chest. The next search was 'Kevin Day', in which he'd promptly fainted at the sight of Kevin Day being a real person. After having a major freakout, he’d driven to the university immediately. Who knew he could be so excited about school? He stopped by an apartment complex momentarily, until he glanced to the side to see a man coming out of a sleek black car with burn scars and his world fucking exploded.
Their first meeting at the campus after Isaac patiently waited-in-not-a-creepy-way went like this:
Isaac, awkward and trying not to scream in front of the main-character. “So, you're on one of Palmetto's teams too?”
Neil, also awkward. “Yeah.”
He couldn’t stop himself from blurting out. “The Foxes are actually kind of terrifying. Like oh man, I’ve only heard of Andrew and he already scares me.”
Neil’s lips quirked up if only for the briefest moment–he was too beautiful–then Isaac went on to ramble about exy and the rest was history. Or, as history as a few weeks could be. Neil was closed off in a way that only being on the run from a murderous killer of a father could be, but he was nonetheless recipient to Isaac’s eager way to treat him softly. Neil probably chalked it up to Isaac being buddy-buddy thanks to the both of them being new to the school and being athletes.
Inwardly, he was quite happy about not being an exy player in this…dimension? Alternate universe? The only explanation he could think of was that he’d traveled into an alternate version of himself after dying.
Despite loving to read about exy, to play exy itself was not his thing. He could discuss the sport for hours on end, but experiencing it physically was a different level.
The sport kind of scared Isaac when he’d watched clips of it, if he was going to be honest. It was quite hardcore and violent, and not to mention it had ties to the fucking mafia. He loved to talk about the intriguing game with Neil, but what made it fun was the brutality of it that he did not want to experience himself.
All in all, he preferred the smooth kick of his foot against a ball and not to be slammed against the floor of an Exy court with a hard stick. He’d met up with Ricky and Amal briefly, who already scored places as his favorite teammates.
What he did not expect to get invited to the Columbia trip. He thought it was reserved for the exy players. In hindsight, maybe he should’ve, considering the way he stuck to Neil like glue.
Kevin even unamusedly dubbed him “Neil’s cheerleader” thanks to his recurring habit of waiting for Neil when he’d finished his drills at the bleachers at the end of practice. It didn’t help that he’d go into the fox’s section of the tower to meet up with Neil at his part of the dorms after moving into the soccer section. In the process, he’d unwittingly managed to lull into conversations with the monsters while trailing after Neil.
He couldn’t stop himself, despite knowing about Neil being a danger magnet.
Speaking of danger…
The car came to a stop as they reached a two-story nightclub. Eden's.
He climbed out of the car with the others, attempting to make himself stop shaking. This was what he’d been dreading ever since Andrew snuck behind him to corner him with a deadly invitation.
He stuck close to Neil, following the shorter. He couldn’t help but notice how small Neil was compared to him. Like a rabbit.
He steeled himself. Isaac would not let Neil undergo this alone.
Isaac winced as he smelled perfume from a passerby, the overpoweringly familiar scent making him want to vomit. His mother particularly liked to douse herself in that flowery smell. He swallowed it down. He wouldn't break so soon because of perfume of all things.
Isaac inched his fingers forward, resting over Neil’s to ground himself and the other who he could tell was panicking. Neil didn’t jolt away from him like he would’ve at the start of their friendship. One of the added-pluses of not being a fucking jerk to him during his current stay at Palmetto.
He tried for a smile, hoping it was visible under the shadows of the club as he spoke in one of the languages he grew up with. “Je te surveillerai s'ils tentent quoi que ce soit.”
Neil almost immediately whispered back. “Et je ferai la même chose pour toi.”
Oh, he’s definitely managed to earn at least some of the main character’s protectiveness. If it was possible to glow with pride, the whole dance floor would be lit up. Unfortunately, his brightness was thoroughly dimmed by the presence in front of him.
Andrew feigned a sigh. “It’s rude to gossip in front of other people.”
“Maybe you shouldn't be so easy to insult.” He surprisingly shot back, definitely thanks to the nerves running throughout his body. He would've never dared to say that on other days.
“Oh, the puppy has bite now?” Andrew tilted his head, not waiting for a response as he pulled Neil towards the bar. Isaac’s eyes followed them, glued on Neil's back even as he got smaller and smaller the further they moved.
“You know, it’s so cute,” Nicky nudged Isaac into a chair, giving him a knowing wink, “the way you follow him around.”
“No it’s not.” Aaron scowled. Isaac returned one back. He was not going to be out-scowled by a man more than seven inches shorter than him.
Kevin cut in, his fingers tapping against the table. It was only his right hand that moved. “Don’t distract him from practicing.”
“No promises.” Isaac sent Kevin a grin he hoped hid his growing nervousness which the other man frowned at.
The slam of glasses against the table stopped the bickering, and Neil slipped into the seat beside him.
This was it. He was dreading it, the taste of that drug. It'd been so long since he'd last been forced to swallow stuff like that down, but the same panic was rising up quicker than he'd expected. Isaac's hand trembled pathetically as he reached for his glass, unable to stop himself from glancing at Andrew.
There was a cold smile on his lips that left no room for refusal. “What are you waiting for?”
“Nothing.” He managed under the eyes of the monsters, and he took a deep breath as he downed the drink.
The aftertaste was familiar as he set down his cup, and he couldn't stop the choking noise that escaped him.
Darling, a faux sweet voice whispered in his ears.
His mother wasn't here. She isn't. He ran, didn't he?
“I need some water.” He stumbled up, excusing himself. A young voice that was his own was telling him to run. To get away. That she was here, and she'd take him.
He wanted to hide away in his closet, curl into a small hiding place that would protect him from drunken steps in front of his bedroom door. Yet, as he caught a flash of Neil, he knew he shouldn't. He couldn't.
Isaac managed to pull himself through swaying bodies, until he was behind the two. He clasped Nicky's shoulder, the man turning his face that was about to lean into Neil's.
He was originally aiming to punch Nicky, but he didn’t have any strength in his arms. So he did the next best thing. Isaac swung his leg up in what his teammates would call a sweet kick and aimed it towards Nicky’s crotch.
Nicky’s knees immediately buckled as he stumbled away, and he could practically hear the word ‘gooaaal’ being cheered by an announcer. Neil made a surprised noise in the background, and Isaac whipped around. He could feel his throat closing up already, the tears blurring his eyes as he gasped for air.
Skin against skin, phantom hands and a tell-tale tug on his hair all came rushing back until he felt like he was drowning in the horrible memories.
He needed Neil.
He tried to grab Neil’s wrist, wanting to pull him away and curl into him to forget the sweet tang overpowering his body that he knew in more ways than one.
Isaac's arm was left midair as a group of people bumped him backwards, making him tumble through bodies. It caused him to get light headed, but as he attempted to regain his bearings, a hand landed on his back and slammed him against the wall.
“And here we have the knight in shining armor.” He heard Andrew mock behind him.
Isaac slumped against the wall with a pant, legs wobbling. Andrew was in front of him, his hand reaching out to grab Isaac. Probably to bring him up and confront him for ruining his little plan with Neil.
He twitched as a hand gripped his curls, the same way she would. He wanted to cry, desperately trying to get away. His movements only made the fingers tighter.
But there wasn't Andrew anymore.
His mother laughed.
He could taste her on his tongue, his body, again and again. His mother particularly liked kissing him to administer the drug through his system. He was Isaac Saetang and he was dying once more in the middle of a damn club and he couldn’t do anything about it.
“Her hands are everywhere.” Isaac whimpered, the drugs–he was oh so used to them–depleting his senses. “Won't stop touching me again."
“Who?” Someone said, their voice terribly blank but taking a harsher edge. Isaac should know who it is, but all he can see is the ceiling of his bedroom instead of the colorful lights that should be swirling around him.
“My mother.” The words involuntarily came out of his mouth and a sob ripped out of him. He felt his fingers reach to press against his wrist, nails itching to dig deeper. “She says that I’m pretty, that she'll make me feel good, but it's always so disgusting. So dirty and used, ràng tā tíngzhǐ, please–”
A tight hold grabbing his right wrist made him jolt. It wasn’t his mother’s. Too kind. Mother was never kind. He could feel a slight burn from his other wrist, having fallen back into the habit of making himself bleed.
He looked up, and Andrew–how could he forget about the enigma that was this man?–was staring down at him. The way his gaze was locked on Isaac seemed to steady the phantom feeling of a heavy and hot weight holding him down.
“She’s not here.” Andrew's tone was cool, but his eyes were narrowed. Yet, his hand was unexpectedly gentle as it trailed up his arm and pulled him up. “She won't touch you again. No one will. I'll kill them if they do.”
“Promise?” He whispered brokenly.
“I don’t make false ones.”
That, Isaac knew. Isaac might've been embarrassed in his right mind if he didn't already know that Andrew was the last person who would judge him for...that. He leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes as his mind continued going fuzzy. “I want Neil.”
Neil was his safe place. He didn't know that he was what kept Isaac from killing himself, barely holding onto the threads of his life simply thanks to words on a page.
All over his room, posters with drawings of an unexisting sport that only existed in a story. Proudly tugging on a custom-made shirt with a fox’s paw and the number ten printed across it. He was so excited when he'd managed to get into Clemson university, the very same one that inspired the books.
Neil was what had gave him the courage to run from that large and empty house filled with only pain, and run he did.
He's not sure what happened next, drifting in and out of consciousness. Eventually he felt Nicky and Aaron haul him up into the car, his knees hitting leather.
“Neil.” He shuddered. “Where's Neil?”
“Backseat.” Andrew responded, not looking back as he got into the driver's seat.
Isaac was shaking badly as he climbed in, his wildly beating heart finally calming as he came across brown hair that shone under the moonlight hitting the car's windows. He wished he could've seen the original red color that it was in. He wanted to run his fingers through it. Maybe Neil would let him later if he asked.
He pushed himself into the seat next to him. He stiffened beside him, but Isaac didn't dwell on it as he buried his face into Neil's shoulder. The car was starting to move, taking him away from that horrible place. He officially hated clubs.
“Isaac?” Neil said quietly as his body relaxed, his voice was slurred, but not as much as it could've been. He still had some bearing, definitely thanks to Isaac's intervention.
“You're real, right? Tell me you're real.” He bit back a sob, intertwining his hand with Neil's.
Neil squeezed his hand, confused but firm. “I'm real.”
That was enough for Isaac.
He stayed pressed against Neil the whole ride, and Neil let him. His vision blurred as time went on, and he could tell Neil was eventually going to lose his grip as well. It didn't deter him clinging to Neil as they were led into the house. Isaac thought he heard Nicky saying he would sleep on the couch, but he didn't care.
Neil fell onto the bed, and Isaac curled beside him under the covers. Isaac mumbled unintelligibly as he let his head fall into Neil's collarbone, arms snaking around his waist for warmth. Neil's body melted into the embrace thanks to his tiredness, hand tangled in the softness of Isaac's hair as they both fell asleep soon after.
And they would stay together, especially when they tumbled out of the window the next morning.