𝙘𝙤𝙜𝙞𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙧𝙜𝙤 𝙨𝙪𝙢: merlin fanfic

by ca3lestis

Summary:

𝙘𝙤𝙜𝙞𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙧𝙜𝙤 𝙨𝙪𝙢 various! Merlin x Harry Potter! OC/Reader

"𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙚"

When you've been sad for so long that when something bad happens, you don't cry; you just sit there and feel numb.

Odette had been living for one thing these past 3 years: Dumbledore's army. For once, she had been needed, and sure, they only recruited her for the sake of having more people. She wants to go back before everything went wrong, now she's stuck with the wizard who practically is magic himself.

Chapter 1: 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒

❝𝙏𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙, 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙙❞

 

 

 

 

 

❝𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗶𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗼 𝘀𝘂𝗺❞

-

❝I think, therefore I am.❞

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ❝ I have always been a giver, warm and loving. Even as a child I never cried, seeking to make others happy. Often people sought me in times of trouble and I gave all I had - my whole heart and showered love upon them. 

By age nine adults leant on me, told me of their woes and I was their spark of light. Yet when my time to suffer came, when my world was a hurricane of ice, every light but one switched off. All but one offered a skinny love, shallow and brief, before finding a reason to excuse their flight. 

But maybe that's the way it had to be, one light to follow, no choice but to walk toward love and truth. Perhaps the road toward heaven feels like hell. Because I can tell you I never felt more empty in mind, body or soul, never so bereft of any comfort. 

I have never felt so worthless or disposable, never so wretched and cold. For hours I would have no emotion, only an urge to move fast; then all at once I'd be on the floor, shaking with a grief that bled from my bones. 

Days became weeks and months, and in every single moment of every single day my soul asked God why I must still live. He said, "Because I love you, daughter, and you will do great things. So live, breathe, walk." 

Moments of emptiness still come like an ambush, yet in company of a true friend a real smile can return, a real laugh, real warmth. I can't give much yet, I'm still too empty, but at least now I know who to give it to. I know who is safe. ❞

 

 

𝗢𝗱𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲, 𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗮𝗿, 𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗱 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴. 

 

𝗦𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗴𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴—𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗼𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗵. 

 

𝗙𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗵𝗼𝘄𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿, 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲-𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗿𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁: 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗞𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗿𝘁𝗵𝘂𝗿, 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘆𝗲𝘁 𝗮 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝘄𝗶𝘇𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗮 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗮𝗻𝘁. 

 

𝗜𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝗢𝗱𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗼𝘅—𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝘆𝗲𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗻, 𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝘆𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱.

 

 

𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐒

 

 

❝𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆❞

as

❝𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐃𝐔𝐍❞

 

 

 

 

 

❝𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐍❞

as

❝𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍❞

❝ The truth is you could slit my throat, and with my one last gasping breath. I would apologise for bleeding on your shirt❞

 

 

 

 

❝𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒❞

as

❝𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍❞

❝A lover? Maybe. Something tender, anyway. But tender like a bruise.❞

 

 

 

 

❝𝐄𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐍❞

as

❝𝐆𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄❞

❝But God fuck I'd swallow poison if it tasted like you.❞

 

 

 

 

❝𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐑𝐀❞

as

❝𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐃𝐔 𝐋𝐀𝐂❞

❝If you stabbed me, I'd thrust myself deeper into the blade just to be a few inches closer to you.❞

 

 

 

 

❝𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐄 𝐌𝐂𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐇❞

as

❝𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐍𝐀 𝐋𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐘❞

❝If touching you makes me a sinner, then why do I feel like I just reached heaven the moment I traced my fingers along your skin?❞

 

 

 

 

❝𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐁𝐘❞

as

❝𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐄❞

❝If I could have done it all again, I would have loved you better. But I could not have loved you more.❞

 

 

 

 

 

𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝘀 𝗴𝗮𝗶𝘂𝘀

𝘁𝗼𝗺 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘃𝗮𝗹

𝗿𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗼𝗻

𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘄𝗮 𝗲𝗱𝘂𝗻 𝗮𝘀 𝗲𝗹𝘆𝗮𝗻

𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗻𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗮𝘀 𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗼𝗻

 

if you dont imagine your character as elle fanning or with the name odette that's perfectly fine its just how i see her and its easier to just have a name