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ALTERNATE *SOLARBALLS (2022)* UNIVERSE 225EARTHCOMA522
MARCH 2007AZ:
Titania hovered near the green chalkboard and thanked Titan for allowing her to commence this session.
“I guess everyone is aware that our planet Uranus was the only one who supported Planet X during the Sun’s challenges.” Resentment filled her voice. “This means that he was okay with endangering us, all for his selfish reasons.”
“I disagree,” Rhea blurted out softly.
Everyone turned to her, surprised that she of all moons spoke up.
Titania narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean by that?”
“Uranus spent weeks taking care of you after Planet X left the Solar System. I caught him crying once. He was so worried you wouldn’t wake up,” Rhea revealed sadly, which caused Caelus’ other moons to frown guiltily.
After all, not only did she pronounce his name correctly, but her empathy for the planets (including Uranus) was starting to leak out. However, Titania wasn’t having it.
“Urgh! What right does he have to feel sad after what he did?!” the slightly bigger moon retaliated. “He’s the one who — ”
“No, Titania—the Sun administered those challenges, not Uranus. And honestly, I’m surprised most of us aren’t blaming our star for putting us in danger,” Rhea interrupted her with a serious tone.
Taking a deep breath, she continued. “In fact, this isn’t the first time. He’s been doing that for billions of years. But then again, us moons aren’t any better. We attacked two innocent planets during the Moon Revolution. Sure, most of us apologized, but did we really take responsibility for that? Seems like we got off scot-free for everything except for Ganymede and Europa. So by that logic, we’re just as bad as Planet X.”
Everyone else gasped loudly and talked over each other for a few seconds.
“What the hell are you talking about?!” Titania gritted out impatiently, which earned a disapproving glare from Titan.
“Be nice,” he mouthed, feeling extra protective of Saturn’s smaller moons.
“Sh-She has a point,” Tethys chimed in. “The whole Moon Revolution was completely pointless. Even though Laomedeia and I weren’t personally involved in it, I feel like we should’ve stepped up and said something…”
“Y-You’re wrong! It wasn’t pointless! We all wanted equality and justice!” Io argued. “I-It was for the betterment of the Solar System!”
“No it wasn’t,” Rhea countered. “Most of us secretly envied our planets ‘cause they still had their moons…and we lost ours. For the past two billion years, they were a reminder of our own failures to protect our orbiters. That’s why we were manipulated into going against our planets. It wasn’t about forgetting our names or mispronouncing them. It was our grief and hatred that manifested into the revolution.”
Titania was appalled by her accusation. “How dare you!”
“Why? It’s true,” Saturn’s second-largest moon shook her head tiredly. “Before the revolution, our planets tried to communicate with us, remember? But we’re the ones that pushed them away, not vice-versa. They always loved and cared for us, but we didn’t do the same. If we were truly equal, we would’ve been there for them too. We should’ve supported our planets instead of neglecting them.”
“Rhea’s right. We might’ve lost our moons, but they were grieving over them too. And instead of helping our planets like they did with us, we avoided them as much as possible,” Tethys confessed remorsefully. “They probably thought we hated them ever since, so they kept their distance too. Only Earth and Luna were truly there for each other.”
“S-So all these years, we…we hurt Neptune?” Galatea squeaked tearfully.
“I-If that’s true, then we’re horrible!” Proteus lamented.
“No, you guys helped Neptune too. Sorry, I should’ve said that earlier. Not all of us were at fault,” Tethys corrected them. “The dwarf planets’ moons were also kind and supportive.”
“I wasn’t,” Triton admitted self-loathingly. “I spent eons blaming Neptune for something that was beyond his control…but it wasn’t his fault. I—I’m older than him, and I didn’t act like it. Yeah, I know I’m his moon and all, but so what? Can’t moons protect their planets too?” He scoffed at himself. “Some big brother…”
“We’re older too, but we—we didn’t help him enough,” Neso gestured to himself and Sao. “Laomedeia and Psamathe did though. Despina too, even if she’s younger.”
“Miranda’s the only major moon who really helped Uranus,” Oberon revealed regretfully. “The rest of us were distant.”
Volumnia helped him too, but she’s not here anymore.
“Yeah, the smaller moons gave us a lot of shit for that,” Ariel winced. “But we deserved it.”
“Look…I’m not sayin’ the planets didn’t make mistakes, but they’re not the only ones. We did too,” Titan added.
“But unlike them, we failed to acknowledge that and didn’t really face the consequences of our actions. Our moons would be disappointed in us if they were still here, so we owe it to them too. And I might’ve apologized to Earth, but that’s not enough. I…we need to do better. We need to be better.”
For the next five minutes, every single moon contemplated his words in silence.
“Hate to interrupt, but…our fellow moon has something to tell us,” Callisto arrived at the scene with her typical deadpan expression, pointing at the distraught heart-shaped satellite.
Her eyes were red and puffy as she twiddled her thumbs together. Neptune and his remaining moons grimaced at the sight since Laomedeia rarely cried, let alone in front of others.
“Deia…what’s wrong?” Triton asked concerningly.
“Yeah, what happened?” Despina questioned worriedly.
“I-I found two planets in the Kuiper Belt. O-One of them is Earth and…” Laomedeia stifled a sob. “H-He’s in a coma and completely frozen.”
Cue another round of terrified gasps.
“C-Coma??” Titan freaked out.
“He’s frozen…?” Rhea whispered fearfully.
“Oh no!” Tethys and Despina exclaimed simultaneously.
“B-But that’s not all. Neptune…h-he kept saying her name…” the 42-kilometer moon added. “He remembers her…”
Triton’s lips quivered. “W-Who?”
“C-Cleodora!” Laomedeia burst into tears, covering her face with both hands. “N-Neptune wouldn’t stop crying after his memories came back…I-I tried to calm him down, but he wouldn’t stop. H-He kept blaming himself…”
Fourteen of her fellow Neptunian moons also broke down sobbing as soon as they heard the last sentence.
Deimos frowned sympathetically, but was utterly confused. “Who’s Cleodora?”
“Sensitive subject, bro!” Phobos scolded him.
“What? It’s just a question,” the smaller Martian moon shrugged.
“Did you not hear what I just said?! Ugh! You’re so fucking annoying!” his older twin hissed.
“You’re the one who’s annoying!” Deimos shot back.
While they continued squabbling, Laomedeia persuaded everyone to help her move Earth back to his orbit since her gravity alone wouldn’t be effective. She did consider enlisting her own planet to pull the rocky terrestrial, but then scrapped it due to his own issues. Neptune had just suffered an emotional breakdown and needed to rest, therefore he was in no condition to help anyone right now.
Once they reached Earth’s current location, Triton calmed down the panicking moons, instructing some of them to alert the dwarf planets and their moons for further assistance. After they came (minus Pluto), Laomedeia wiped her bloodshot eyes and ordered them to circle around the comatose planet, using their combined gravity to pull him back towards the Inner Solar System.
It took a lot of effort, but luckily they were successful. However, on their way there…each celestial object noticed that the giant planets and Mars were eerily absent from their orbits. This caused another wave of panic amongst the planetary moons, until the former dwarf planet reminded them to focus on the task at hand—bring Earth back to his original spot before it was too late.
When Venus and Mercury spotted them, both planets rushed over to their unconscious little brother and demanded to know what happened. The Sun however, huffed irritably and turned away, still pissed off that six of his planets had seemingly abandoned him.
Earth thinks he can just come back in a blaze of glory after abandoning the Solar System for days?!
Meanwhile, the saviors explained everything as Mercury teared up, suddenly remembering his last conversation with Earth. Venus eyeballed him suspiciously, but the smaller planet shook his head, refusing to spill the beans for now.
“You better tell me later,” Aphrodite mumbled.
“You won’t like it,” Hermes muttered guiltily.
“I bet I’ve said worse things. Trust me, it can’t be that bad,” Venus rolled his eyes.
Mercury blatantly disagreed. “No, it’s bad.”
“Okay, that’s it!” Sol whipped around and glowered at his younger siblings. “Everyone! Back to your orbits!!”
“But Miranda needs to check his vitals in case something else happens,” Rhea pleaded.
“Exactly! We can’t just leave him like this!” Titan concurred.
“And she needs to find out if his Earthlings are still alive,” Laomedeia reminded him.
“Ugh! You know what? Fine—she can stay for the time being. However, that does not apply to anyone else!” the yellow dwarf commanded.
Mercury lifted his chin nervously. “W-We’re staying too.”
“Absolutely not! You two are going back to your original orbits!” his orbital center argued.
Now Hermes was fed up with the Sun’s bullshit as well. “Oh, so now you care about our orbits??”
“Don’t you dare talk back to me!” Sol growled threateningly.
“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do? Pull us into your Roche Limit?” Mercury challenged, feeling brave for the first time in forever.
“Dude, are you asking for a death wish?” Venus hissed in his ear.
“I don’t care anymore!” Hermes snapped. “Let’s be honest! The Sun doesn’t give a shit about order and stability! He only cares about his fragile galactic-sized ego!”
“DON’T YOU DARE!!” Sol bellowed.
“ENOUGH!!” Titan shouted, which oddly silenced him. “This isn’t gonna change what happened, so get your shit together and HELP US SAVE EARTH, DAMN IT!!”
“HOW DARE YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME!!!!” the yellow dwarf roared at him with crazed eyes, suddenly firing massive solar flares, asteroids, and meteorites in every direction.
“Whatever you do, protect the Earthlings and try to avoid getting hit!!” Titan announced hastily.
“Got it!” Triton gave him a thumbs up.
“Metis, you and the dwarf planets’ moons go find Luna and the other planets asap!” Europa told her quickly.
“Way ahead of you!” she replied before zooming towards the Kuiper Belt.
Once they left, Venus said, “Come on, pipsqueaks! Time to redeem yourselves!”
“Meanwhile, we’ll shield you guys as much as we can!” Mercury hollered.
Triton turned to his orbital neighbours. “Guys, normally I’d tell you to go back to Neptune’s orbit, but it’s too risky right now. You could get hit. So just stay behind me, okay?”
“But we wanna help!” Proteus whined.
“Yeah! We’ve been here for 4.5 billion years! We’re not kids anymore!” Larissa complained.
“Don’t forget some of us are older than Neptune,” Sao told him.
“Well I’m older than you, so what I say goes,” Neptune’s round moon countered, earning hesitant nods from the others.
“There’s no time! It doesn’t matter if they’re older or younger than you! Shield the smaller moons now!” the pink Galilean satellite barked.
Venus, Io, Ganymede, Callisto, and Titan collectively agreed to guard Earth from all sides in order to protect his life. Meanwhile—Mercury, Europa, Triton, and the dwarf planets acted as barriers for the non-spherical moons. Unfortunately, this didn’t last long as the Sun abruptly stopped firing solar flares and asteroids.
Instead, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, using his gravity to pull his two innermost planets plus dozens of moons towards his Roche Limit, despite hearing several protests.
“SUN! PLEASE STOP!!” Mercury begged desperately, struggling to regain control of his own movements.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!” Sol howled as his selected orbiters perished immediately, their screams echoing across the Solar System.
Soon, heartbreaking sobs and wails erupted from the survivors, cradling the floating debris of their deceased loved ones. A minute later, the dwarf planets consoled the remaining planetary moons, still traumatized by this tragic event. Elsewhere, Metis and her team located Mars, Luna, AstroDude, plus both pairs of gas and ice giants.
Eventually, the yellow dwarf snapped out of his psychotic stupor and glanced around, initially unaware that he had just committed an unforgivable crime. But unlike the Grand Tack and several other giant impacts…it was intentional.