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Wuxian was filled with rage, the kind of fury that burned at one's veins like lava and turned the mind into a haze. He's given them everything he'd had to give, his sweat, his tears, his blood, his life. Watched them tear each other apart for his power, like rabid dogs. Their greed and jealousy and insecurity and wrath were like hungry ghosts that destroyed everything in their paths. He'd lost his parents because the sects had been unwilling to do anything to help innocent people in need, he'd lost his childhood because they hadn't been 'able' to find a child in the streets of one tiny city for four years, he'd lost his youth becoming their weapon and winning their war, and his newfound family to their thirst for power. He's been used, abused and humiliated and he'd taken it all in silence and given more and more and more in return... and it hadn't been enough. His life hadn't been enough, the life of his parents hadn't been enough, the lives of the Wen remnants hadn't been enough, now they wanted the life of his son and husband as well. It was time they learned you didn't always get what you wanted.
Wuxian had never been as oblivious as he'd pretended to be but he'd learned young the dangers that a sharp mind held. He hadn't been able to stop his golden core from growing stronger but he had been able to downplay his real skills and the true extent of his mind. It had only taken meeting Yu Ziyuan once to understand that he could never best her children if he wanted to live peacefully... he'd done so anyway and paid the price for it as if it was his fault that they somehow fell short. In spite of her abuse and Jiang Fengmian's neglect, he'd stayed. Because they had given him food and a roof and he'd thought Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng were worth it, that his shidis and shimeis were worth it... but his shidis and shimeis had turned to dust because their 'great' leaders had refused to accept reality and had been arrogant enough to consider themselves untouchable. They hadn't even bothered raising wards around Lotus Pier and his 'siblings'? They've abandoned him. Jiang Yanli had married into the very sect that had done everything in their power to turn him into a monster in everyone's eyes and Jiang Cheng had led the very siege that had killed his family, that had left his son on the verge of death. He'd protected them with his life and repaid the debts they owed only for them to stab him in the back. The 'friends' that he'd made over the years, that had clung to him during the lectures or the war? They've turned their backs on him too.
Ironically, the only people other than Lan Zhan that had stood by him had been from the Jin Sect. But even Mianmian hadn't offered her help, choosing to turn her back to the whole cultivation world as if that would make the corruption cease to exist, and Jin Zixuan... Jin Zixuan might have believed in him but he had also been oblivious and naive enough to not know who his family really were and to fall into the trap of his enemies. Unlike Jin Zixuan though, Wuxian had never been ignorant. It had just been easier and safer to smile and pretend he was unaware of the truth sometimes, so when Lan Zhan had tied their wrists together he had done just that.
Lan Zhan had been the Second Young Master of a Great Sect and in the eyes of everyone that 'mattered' Wuxian had been nothing more than the son of a servant. It didn't matter that his father had died a free man when all Jiang Fengmian did was remind everyone of his father's former status with every chance he had, and it didn't matter that his mother had been the disciple of an immortal and a rogue cultivator when Yu Ziyuan had been allowed to insult and belittle her with every second breath she'd taken. It should have been obvious to everyone that he had never been meant to be more than a shield for his children when the Sect Leader hadn't written his name in the family registry the moment Wuxian had stepped foot in Lotus Pier, and it had been. Everyone had known, even him. Even when he'd pretended he didn't.
Wuxian would have given them his life, and he had. He had given them everything else too, his freedom and his happiness. Even though he had stayed faithful to the bows him and Lan Zhan had taken before Lan Yi, he had known from the start that Gusu Lan was never going to acknowledge their marriage and trying to pretend otherwise would have hurt too much. Wuxian was used to pain and disappointment but condemning Lan Zhan to such a life? He hadn't had the heart, not that it had made a difference in the end. Lan Zhan had always been stubborn, always been devoted to him even when Wuxian had done everything in his power to keep him at arms length. To keep him away from this mess by pretending he could handle it on his own and everything was alright. Wuxian had been willing to sacrifice everything, everything but his son and his husband. ...It was never, never enough.
His son was dying, his little body burning itself out with fever, with no one to watch over him because the most 'righteous' sect was too busy whipping his husband to death, for trying to defend his family. For 'injuring' the elders, elders who hours before that hadn't felt any remorse at slaughtering innocent, unarmed people. Their hypocrisy and arrogance, their self importance, knew no bounds and Wuxian was so sick of taking it laying down. He was so sick of giving, he was so sick of smiling, and he was tired and he was done.
They've accused him of being a demonic cultivator without even bothering to understand his powers, and it was true that Wuxian hadn't lied when he'd said he'd never walked that path... but that didn't mean he couldn't. It didn't mean he wasn't capable of it and it didn't mean he didn't know how. It only meant that he had never wanted to cross that line before. He'd made a conscious choice to never take more than was freely drifting around or the dead willingly offered, to never pull upon the souls of the living, but now? Now they had crossed that line for him. They had stepped on the other side, and into his reach, the moment they had allowed this farce of 'justice' to proceed.
He tore his eyes away from his husband, standing straight and unbending even now, even as lash after lash of that unbearable whip landed on his vulnerable back, to look at the crowd that had gathered around around them. Wuxian had expected most of them to be inwardly cheering, to see the same satisfied look on their faces as he saw in those elders' eyes, but most of them were horrified. People he vaguely recognized from the lectures, disciples he'd remembered always looking up at Lan Zhan, were holding each other back from interfering because they knew it wouldn't stop anything. All it would achieve would be for them to share the punishment and none of them were even powerful enough to survive it. None of them had been present at the siege either, he realized. This was the faction that had followed Lan Zhan over the Elders. Had Cloud Recesses always been this fractured, or had his actions at Koi Tower led to this? It was broken in two, one half white from terror and the other...
Wuxian turned to the other side, where Lan Xichen was pale but silent. He was the Sect Leader, yet he was too much of a coward to even stand up for his own brother. The brother that he claimed to love. He had warned Wuxian against hurting Lan Zhan but the one hurting Lan Zhan most was him. Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren, who was holding that whip himself. Yet Wuxian knew that even now, when their actions hurt more than any torture, Lan Zhan would never forgive him for hurting them, but the others... he looked at the old men and women with glee in their eyes, satisfaction at having bought someone so much more powerful and better than them to his knees. Not just the thirty three that Lan Zhan had stood against but also the ones who had condemned the beautiful man's mother without a trial, just as they were now doing to her son. Even the ones who had not been involved, but did nothing to help either even when they had the power to.
Why should people who condemn innocents to death live? Wuxian had let their kind go once and he shouldn't have. He should have pulled all the weeds out that day in Koi Tower, maybe then his family wouldn't have paid the price for his mercy. Not anymore. They wanted a monster so he would give them one. He needed power to change things and there was a source of great power right in front of him.
Even in death, or maybe especially because he was now a ghost, he had perfect control. Kneeling before Lan Zhan he cupped his hands over the others man's white knuckled fists so the spell would cover them both, and then he pulled. Everything happened at once, like a bow string that had been stretched until it snapped. Lan Zhan face twisted from anguish to joy as Wuxian became visible to him, 'Wei Ying' clear on his lips even as the world around them turned into the absence of sound, then from joy to comprehension as he took understood what was happening. The elders' faces were stuck between shock and agony, and everyone was frozen. Wuxian squeezed Lan Zhan's hands, relieved when they turned around in his hold to return the gesture, and pulled again like time was but a loose thread in an old robe. The people around them faded, overlapping over the image of life in the courtyard moving backwards. It felt like eternity that they just kneeled there, numb to any kind of feeling but their hands in each other's, deaf to any sound, staring into each other's eyes as reality unwound around them. Wuxian anchored the spell to the lives of the elders and pulled until he felt the last of the resistance give.
The world froze again and this time Wuxian and Lan Zhan were the only ones there, ghosts in the middle of an empty courtyard. It was nighttime and he knew that while the elders' bodies were still alive at this point in time, he had completely burned out their souls and they wouldn't last long. In the morning, Cloud Recesses would mourn the deaths of dozens, and he felt nothing but relief over it. This time Wuxian was going to make sure his son would have a happy life, this time he would protect his husband and this time, he would stand on his own. Never again, he decided, would he allow this rotten world to walk all over him.
He looked at Lan Zhan one more time, trying to commit every beautiful line of his husband into his memory because he knew that the moment they let go of each other, their souls would be snapped into their current bodies. The beautiful man pulled him closer until their foreheads were touching and Wuxian allowed his lips to fall even closer, doing something he had yearned for for many years and denied himself for just as long. With one soft kiss Wuxian made a silent promise to himself that he would find his husband as fast as he could, then he let go.
The world went black around him and his body was jerked upwards as if he'd been struck by lightning. When he blinked the dizziness away determination steeled his body as he found himself staring into a pair of eyes identical to his own. His mother's eyes. Wuxian had done the impossible again, he'd turned back time, and this time around he wasn't going to bow to anyone. Not ever again.