Chapter 1: WHAT KIND OF FAIRYTALE IS THIS?
Chapter Text
PROLOGUE
After Bella was transformed into a vampire and had given birth to Renesmee, Jacob did not seek out revenge. Werewolves only imprint on those who have already reached full maturity. Instead, as promised, he left with Leah. They spent two years together roaming the forests of Canada in wolf form. Through their new found friendship they found peace and learned to heal. Jacob returned to Forks while Leah moved to Port Angeles. Both packs and its members no longer needed to be protectors with the Cullens gone. And so they did not need to phase. Learning to be human again was hard for Jacob but he found solace in family, friendship and work.
Bella, Edward and their daughter Renesmee moved to Alaska near the Denali coven. During the holidays, Charlie and Sue would visit. Bella never wanted to return to Forks, guilty of the pain and destruction she had left behind. She was forever in Jacob Blacks debt and wished one day she could find a way to repay him. Upon Renesmees seventh year is when the Volturi made their discovery of the Cullens new addition to the family. Intrigued by the hybrid they sought her out. Perhaps a way to punish the Cullens - no one was sure why. What they were sure of, was a looming threat of war. Bella and Edward devised a plan. They would leave Renesmee with the one person strong enough to protect her and ultimately camouflaged enough to deceive the Volturi. A place where she could be hidden and safe. With Jacob Black.
————————————————————
Songs:
From Western Woods to Beaverdam, Harry Gregson-Williams
God of War, Bear McCreary
————————————————————
RENESMEE CULLEN, seven years later
If life itself was supposed to be the most wonderful fairytale, then why was mine more of a messed up horror?
I was born in the rainiest town on the Olympic Peninsula of Washington state. Unlike my Mom who detested anything cold or wet, I had always been drawn to the wild beauty of ancient forests, towering mountain peaks and mist-shrouded views. My mother and father had moved us to Alaska the day after my birth. It was here I lived out my childhood.
We Cullens desired to exist harmoniously and peacefully alongside humans. But it would be a lie to say that balancing the challenges of our vampiric nature did not sometimes come with deadly consequences. With time and incredible patience shown by my parents, I adapted to the human world effortlessly. And for many years we lived in a perfect and blissful piece of our existence.
That was until recently.
Auntie Alice had a vision of the Volturi discovering my being three days ago. It was unclear how they had found out. Dad was furious and desperate to know if there was a traitor amongst our friends. Every waking hour since Alice had her vision, my family had been devising a plan to save me.
I used to beg for bedtime stories about the Volturi when I was little. I never thought I would become intertwined into their tales of terror.
Mom and Dad couldn't tell me what exactly the Volturi wanted from an inconspicuous hybrid. Perhaps they didn't know. I would be considered weak in comparison to vampires and my gift was no weapon that could be utilised. It didn't make sense. I couldn't even bare children unless it was with another hybrid. Barren like a mule. I felt thankful for Moms gift in this instance so that my father wouldn't feel responsibility for my thoughts of self condemnation. She had learned to project her power to me constantly in close proximity - very helpful during my tweens or teen years. If you could even classify it as those.
Reaching full physical maturity in seven years and mental maturity in four, wasn't exactly normal. I could pass for any age between seventeen and twenty three now.
I was the perfect blend of human warmth and vampire elegance, a 'striking-beauty' as Auntie Rosalie calls me, with my cascade of bronze curls, snow white gleaming skin and deep chocolate brown eyes. I am told I have my mother's kind-hearted demeanour and my father's witty intelligence.
I knew when they had come to a final decision on how to proceed against the Volturi when I had entered the kitchen and it was just my parents waiting for me. The rest of my family no where in sight. They stood so scarily still it reminded me of the stories of the petrification of vampires. My mind instantly thinking of the Romanian coven. I felt unnerved.
I stopped mid step and blinked at them expectantly. "So? What's the game plan?" I asked trying to sound brave.
Dad shook his head, eyes to the ground, obviously unhappy with the verdict. It was Mom who spoke instead," We are going to take you somewhere you can be hidden. Somewhere safe and the last place they would expect." She stared back at me emotionless. Her expression giving nothing away. My Mom was my best friend and I knew this mask was a means of self preservation. She was worried and scared.
"Well, where are we going?"
"We are going to Forks. La Push to be exact", Dad finally said.
"What? Isn't that dangerous? What about Grandpa Charlie? And the werewolves?"
Dad replied softly, "That's why we're going there. Caius is terrified of the wolves. Most importantly, the Volturi are oblivious to their existence. And trust me, no vampires want to get near a wolf's stench even if they picked up your trail. It also means there is more protection from the Voluri's gifts. Just as Alice can't see your future, she can't see theirs either. We hope that this phenomenon will be similar with other powers if you're surrounded by werewolves."
"You hope? And you mean hide from Demetri's power?"
"Yes, exactly."
"But... the Quileutes surely wouldn't have agreed to this? After everything they've sacrificed for us. Especially your friend Jacob, Mom? I can't imagine he wants his ex-best friend's daughter around?" I exclaimed.
Guilt flashes across my mother's face as she murmured, "You're my daughter. I will do anything for you. Unfortunately, that means we have to ask for their help again."
"So, they haven't agreed yet?"
"We don't have time to wait for their answer. The less time they have to think it through the better. We'll go straight to Jacob's." This time I could see Mom's mask wavering even more as she spoke. "Go and pack but only take essentials. We have thirty minutes before we need to leave. It'll just be us three going."
"But what about saying good-bye to everyone!" Frustration and distress cut through me. How could we have such little time? Why haven't they discussed any of this with me? I wasn't a child anymore and this involved the safety of all of those I loved. How could we just leave them behind?
"They'll be here soon to see us off. Don't worry," Dad reassured.
I raced upstairs and packed as much as I could into my duffle bag, fighting back tears as I did so. I looked around my room, saddened by the quaint and easy life I was being forced to leave behind. I grappled with a whirlwind of emotions - loss, fear and reluctant acceptance. When I came back down my whole family had gathered outside.
I ran first into Grandma Esme's arms. Even though I towered over her small frame she exuded an aura of strength and comfort over me. Grandpa Carlisle kissed me sweetly atop my head and brushed my cheek. Rosalie was next, my most doting Auntie. I would miss her so much. She clung to me desperately. Emmet punched my arm and joked, "Don't worry, kid. We'll sort this out nice and good." I smiled at him sadly. Jasper and Alice embraced me at the same time, squeezing me tightly. Completely overwhelmed with despair, I couldn't think of a single thing to say to them. It seemed neither could they.
As Mom, Dad and I drove off I peered out the window from the back seat as we left our home behind. I watched the figures of my family, unmoving, becoming smaller and smaller, standing exactly as they did when we bid our farewells.
Eventually our house became a blur, a fading image and my heart became heavier with each passing moment. The road stretched out pulling us forward as home fell away behind us, becoming a part of the past with every mile.
It was going to be a long drive. It was quiet in the car without the radio and none of us spoke. Hopelessness had overcome us.
After an hour or so, I couldn't be sure, I finally mustered up the courage to ask more questions about what was really going on. Their abrupt and short explanations to everything back at the house frightened me.
"How long are we going to stay in La Push? They're not going to attack us when we get there are they?" I rushed.
"No, they won't attack us. They know us. They wouldn't do that to Charlie. And... your Dad and I can't stay with you. But you'll have Grandpa Charlie there." Mom replied gravely.
"What?!" I choked back a sob.
"The Volturi can track us easily. My shield ability isn't developed enough for me to protect everyone around me. Only myself. And we have our own plan. But we need you hidden and safe first."
"This is ridiculous! I am not going anywhere without you!" I screamed.
"We don't have a choice. Believe me, we thought of every option and this was the only one that we think can really work. I'm so so sorry." I was glad I couldn't see her face in the front seat. I couldn't bear to see either of them in pain over me.
"What if Jacob refuses? What then?"
"Then we have to think of something else."
"Why can't I just stay with Grandpa Charlie in Forks?"
"Like we said before. For this to work you need to be surrounded by the wolves. Not near them. We need to take every precaution. We don't know how long you'll have to stay on the reservation yet. We're hoping only six months."
"Six months? I've never even been away from you for more than two weeks!"
"I know, sweetie." I could hear the strain in her voice now.
"What's going to happen to both of you? And the rest of our family?"
"Don't worry it's all sorted. They're safe. Please, you have to trust us with this Renesmee," my Mom begged.
It was silent for a moment. "What does Jacob look like?" I asked innocently. I tried not to talk about the werewolves too much over the years, especially Jacob, as I could see how depressing it was for Mom. They had told me everything about their past lives and adventures. Including the dark ones. We had no secrets. Mom had described Jacob Black like a personal sun in her stories; a brave and perpetually happy person. I had always been fascinated by the Quileutes. A magical people. I felt connected to them in a strange way. They were almost half human - like me. And I had always wanted a dog.
"Let me see if I can find a photo. He might look different now though," she whispered. "Here", she stated as she handed me her phone. She still couldn't look at me directly.
I stared at the photo for a long time. It was an old photo to be sure, definitely before his transformation. Mom and Dad said that when the wolf gene was triggered the boys went through a humungous growth spurt. Apparently they grew over six feet tall and put on many pounds of muscle. They always looked scary in my imagination but as I looked at this photo, he didn't seem scary at all. He looked sweet. And incredibly handsome.
He had long, silky jet black hair, his skin the most beautiful russet colour, deep set brown eyes, chiseled cheekbones and a sharp masculine jawline. The most brilliant white smile spread wide across his face, enhanced further by his dark colouring. I could feel my heart racing faster as I contemplated how stunning he was for a human. Great, they're gonna lock me up with a beautiful werewolf man, I thought annoyed and embarrassed. I was glad no one could see my blush rising to the surface of my cheeks. Stupid human genes.
"You never told me he was attractive," I blurted out. I had momentarily forgotten about the rivalry over Mom between Jacob and Dad. Auntie Alice had let some personal details slip about their relationships. Oops, I hoped I hadn't offended my parents. As if on cue, Dad snickered. Mom just shrugged.
I threw Mom's phone back to her and settled back into my seat crossing my arms. I chewed anxiously on my bottom lip. "Will I be able to hunt?" I suddenly thought.
Dad glanced back at me, answering, "I'm not so sure about that. There's a good chance the Quileutes will want you to eat human food while on their land."
I grumbled in response. Human food was okay but I much preferred elk or mountain lions for sustenance. Their land their rules, I guess.
"How will we stay in contact?" my voice breaking mid sentence.
"We have a non traceable cellphone for you. It's already with your belongings. But you must wait for us to call, that's very important," Dad said firmly but still attempting a smile.
My thoughts drifted back to Jacob Black. "Will he be nice to me you think? Considering everything."
No one answered for a few long seconds. To my surprise it was my father who answered. "I don't think he'll really want much to do with you to be honest. But knowing Jacob, he'll still take care of you even if it seems like he's not interested. I would keep a distance and just do your best to cohabitate. He'll feel on edge having a half-vampire around. But he just doesn't know you like we do. If he did, he'd think very differently about all of this."
"That's if he lets me stay," I replied defensively, my arms still crossed. Poor Jacob Black being dragged into our mess again and I hadn't even met the guy.
Mom interjected, " He's one of the best people I have ever met. It's just, well, the whole vampire and werewolf stuff took its toll on him. And I wasn't a very good friend to him either. When I became a vampire, Jacob saw it as a fate worse than death." Mom sighed regretfully. Dad grabbed her hand. I couldn't fathom thinking that vampirism was a horrific end; my family was wonderful.
"This is going to be an interesting reunion isn't it."
"Yes, yes it is," Dad agreed.
Over the next few hours we laughed and cried, or I cried, and reflected wistfully on our lives we had shared together these past seven years. When I was younger I liked to utilise my gift to show them my feelings more accurately, however as I got older I had to learn to communicate verbally as humans would. In this instance it felt like the right moment to place my hands upon each of their cheeks, leaning forward to reach them in the front seats, and project how much I loved them.
I watched the scenery slowly change from blinding, snowy white peaks to dense, evergreen woodland forest. The closer and closer we got to our destination the more fear crept in. At least I would have Grandpa Charlie, I reminded myself. Part of me was excited to come back to the place I was born. To see it with new and matured eyes. But this feeling was overshadowed by something much darker and horrifying.
As we passed by the sign Welcome to Forks, I could feel the dread puddling in the pit of my stomach. In less than an hour it will be the last time I see my parents for - well, who knows how long.
So, we had officially made it to the rainiest town in the continental US. I almost felt let down as there wasn't a single rain cloud in sight. Even though it was cold, the sunshine splayed across the houses and buildings of Forks, illuminating it. The Olympic rainforest was a coastal jewel. Towering hemlocks, glacier-fed rivers and mossy mountains covered the earth here. It was beautiful.
"Does Grandpa Charlie know I'm here," I managed to squeak out.
"Not just yet. We thought it'd be best to see how things... unfolded with Jacob first," Dad replied sourly.
"Fair point."
"We're getting close now. Bella, my love, remember to put your shield down when we arrive. I need to read his mind clearly," Dad sighed. Mom nodded.
Dad very sternly directed his next demands at me. "Remember Renesmee to stay in the car when we arrive until we tell you it's safe. If, no, when he accepts you must be on your best behaviour. You can go stay with Charlie on the weekends. We'll enroll you into school too, to keep you busy. Please, for your mother and I, don't go looking for trouble. And try not to upset Jacob. Werewolves are very dangerous and hot tempered."
I rolled my eyes. "How do you know where he lives?"
"Carlisle did a little... digging. He lives close by to his father, Billy Black. Apparently, he's a mechanic now." As Dad spoke I could see a small smile creep at the corner of my mother's mouth. Something about this information pleased her. She was being eerily quiet.
We came to a large bend in the road, towering trees - pine, oak and cedar - lined each side, their branches forming a natural canopy with patches of sunlight and shadow. I spotted something from the corner of my eye, deep in the midst of the shrubbery. Was it a bear? I had thought that the monstrous beast looked too large to be a bear.
"We've passed the treaty line. They know we're here." Dad's voice sounded ominous.
I must've seen one of the wolves! Or at least a part of a wolf, from very far away, for about half a second.
"Okay, here we go," said my father so quiet even my hyper sensitive ears barely picked it up.
We drove off onto a little dirt track from the main road that broke out into a small clearing. Within the clearing was a very small but homely-looking house. It's warm and welcoming presence blending seamlessly with the forest around it. It had a painted fern green A-frame roof covered in moss and sturdy, mahogany coloured timber walls with large windows facing the woodlands. A stone chimney rose out on one side with wisps of smoke curling into the crisp air. Three steps lead to the large forward facing wooden patio and front door. There was a piece of wood laying upon the steps as if someone had installed a makeshift ramp. Next to the quaint house was a shed seemingly made from left over scraps of tin and various other materials.
We parked just out front of the patio. Mom and Dad both glanced at me worryingly before grasping each others hand. "Stay here," Mom warned. My heart was beating uncontrollably fast with anticipation as I looked out the car window.
That's when I saw him.
He was standing at the front of his door near the edge of the steps. He was shirtless and shoeless. All he wore was a pair of faded blue jeans that hung dangerously low on his hips, his white underwear peaking out ever so slightly. His dark, russet skin even more alluring surrounded by the dark green forest behind his house. I drank up his mammoth frame, analysing every detail of him. He must be at least six foot seven! His arms were folded defensively across his wide and ridiculously muscled chest, making his biceps bulge even more than I thought already possible. His sparse, black snail trail a focal point amongst his chiseled abs, leading my eyes down towards his jeans again. But his face! He had to be one of the most powerful looking and bewitching species of men I had ever seen. His face almost identical to the photo Mom had showed me in the car, still deliciously beautiful, was older now - he looked maybe twenty five and much more rugged. He still had silky black long hair, now braided into two platts from the base of his neck, that hung against his collarbones. All that was missing was the brilliant white smile from the photo. His face calm and serene, his full lips stretched into a straight line. His eyes filled with wisdom and indignation.
My parents got out of the car and stood at the front of the steps, dwarfed by the commanding presence of the enormous man standing in front of them.
"Jacob," my father said politely.
"Hey, Jake," my mother whispered.
The large man didn't reply.
"You're human?" Mom asked after awkward silence. I stayed as still and as quiet as possible.
"Mostly," replied Jacob in a deep baritone voice.
"He hasn't phased in over a year. His heightened abilities aren't the same as they used to be. He still has acute strength and speed and can still hear, smell and detect things no average human could. And his body temperature is still as high as having a fever. But, for all intents and purposes he is human right now," my father explained to Mom.
Jacob sighed heavily in annoyance," You know, I still hate when you do that. Eddie." The big man's face still calm and unchanged despite the acidic tone.
"Sorry, Jacob."
"What do you want now?"
Dad replied again, "I understand you never wanted to see us again. We never would have come here and disturbed your peace or your family if we didn't think it absolutely essential. We already owe you our gratitude and our lives."
Jacob flinched slightly at the word lives but his mask returned as quickly as it faltered. Dad continued anyway, "We can never repay you for what you have done for our family. It is with great displeasure that we have come again to ask for your help."
Jacob stared intently at my father, his brows furrowed in deep thought. Then his eyes flashed to Mom.
"You look different. Scary, Bella." I couldn't tell if he was attempting to joke or was making a judgmental observation. I thought Mom looked beautiful.
She chuckled at him. "Sure, sure. I'm same old Bella," she exclaimed. Jacob's lips turned down slightly and then he looked back at Dad.
"I can't help you. I'm human remember. Not that I would help you anyway."
My Dad replied eagerly, "Well, actually that doesn't matter much. I saw that some of the other wolves still haven't managed to stop phasing." So that's how Jacob must've known we were coming. The other wolves must have tipped him off somehow. He wasn't shocked at all to see us. "All we want is for you to keep someone hidden here on the reservation."
"Uh-huh. And who or should I say what might that be?" Jacob said slowly.
"Our daughter," Mom says.
"No, sorry. I don't babysit demon spawns," he replied darkly. His insult stung me for more reasons than one.
Mom started to beg, "Please! She's not safe. She won't be any hassle, it'll be like she's never even here. Renesmee just needs a place to hide and it has to be here. There's no where else to go!"
"Why on gods green earth would I? Have we not given enough? Have you both not taken enough from us? Hide it somewhere else!" Jacob bellowed back. "You know what happens when vampires come to the rez. Now more of my people will have to suffer this curse. How dare you?!" he scowled at her. My mother stepped backwards, pained by his tirade. Was he justified in his words? Probably, yes. But I still didn't like the way he was talking to her.
"I am so so sorry Jacob, you have to know that. I know I was, am, selfish. You never deserved any of this. You are, were, my best friend and it was all so unfair. Please, if there was anything you ever needed or your tribe ever needed that we could provide... we would without a second thought. I just, I, I-" Mom couldn't finish her sentence. She wrapped her arms around her chest hugging herself.
"This isn't about the past, Bella. I am so beyond that. This is about my brothers, my family," he stated firmly.
Dad spoke now," I know. We haven't been here for long or encountered any others on the reservation to trigger any new transformations. Renesmee isn't a vampire, not technically, so I highly doubt she will cause unrest. Please. Just take one look at Renesmee and then decide. She's very human. Just like you."
"Human?" Jacob replied bewildered by this statement.
"Yes. She sleeps, she eats human food, she enjoys socialising with humans, she likes cars and she loves Charlie. Renesmee just has some extra gifts and talents, like you."
Jacob huffed.
Dad turned to me then beckoning me. "It's okay Renesmee. Come out." I could feel everyone's eyes on me, burning a whole in my face.
I hopped out the car gracefully and stood behind my Dad but kept my eyes on the ground. I fiddled with the ends of my long sleeve white shirt uncomfortably. My hair fell down around me in wild auburn locks. My bottom lip felt swollen, I must've been biting it too hard while waiting in the car.
I stole a quick glance up at Jacob Black. His large brown eyes bore into mine. It was only for a second but it felt like I had stared for hours straight into his soul. I quickly averted my gaze back to the ground with a gasp. How could I be so scared of a human? Or almost-human? I decided it had to be his dominant aura and attractiveness that made me so nervous. Deep down, I knew that I could easily overpower him in his human form.
The blush on my face felt so red it burned.
Dad spoke, obviously answering Jacob's thoughts," See, I told you she's much alike humans... Yes, just like the pregnancy she grew rapidly... No, she's not dangerous and she most certainly doesn't want to eat you." This time I had to stifle a laugh, placing a hand over my mouth. Jacob arched an eyebrow at me. Dad added," She can survive on human food."
If Mom could cry, she would've been when she suddenly pleaded, "Jacob, the werewolves sole purpose of existing was to serve as protectors, to ensure no harm comes to any human. Please. Protect her. I beg you. We beg you."
"Who are you hiding her from?" Jacob asked ignoring her pleas. I noted he referred to me as her and not it this time.
There was a choked sob before my Mom finally said," The Volturi. But they won't come here. That's why it's safe."
"I'm not responsible for her. We protect humans. You understand? And the last time I tried to do that, I failed. I don't care if you think this doesn't put us all in jeopardy. Also, don't ever lecture me on my tribal history, you don't know the half of it. Besides, maybe it isn't safe for her here because if she so much as spilled one tiny drop of human blood, I'd rip her pretty little head off myself." Although I should be more disturbed by his threat I lingered on the fact he called me pretty.
"You're my friend. My very best friend still. Jacob, I-" Mom was cut off by Jacob's loud words.
"You know if I could go back and start over I would still choose the same path. The same joy, the same sadness. It taught me that friends never say goodbye." Mom looked up at him hopeful and surprised. "Goodbye, Bella," he said coldly.
I don't think Dad and I were supposed to see the twisted pain on Mom's face after Jacob's harsh words. Our plan hadn't worked. I felt my heart sinking, suddenly weighing a thousand pounds.
Jacob turned away and strode toward the front door, needing only to take three steps.
He stopped still at the entrance, his broad back on display as he reached out to grab the door frame. He gripped the wooden frame with a confident hold, the structure straining underneath. The movement made the muscles in his back shift and tighten, showing the depth of his strength. His stance was solid and grounded, exuding a sense of quiet but controlled power. Jacob then turned his head to look back towards Dad for a long moment, still holding onto the door. I couldn't quite read his expression. His eyes appeared shadowed and distant, carrying the weight of unspoken words.
I heard Dad gasp, "Thank you, my brother, thank you!" My father's smile crooked and wide as he looked at Mom and I with a crazed and exhilarated look. Jacob entered his house saying nothing, leaving the door wide open.
Some messed up fairytale this was.
Chapter 2: I’M NOT AFRAID OF THE BIG BAD WOLF.
Chapter Text
————————————————————————
Songs:
Rosyln, Bon Iver & St. Vincent
This Life and the Next, Ramin Djawadi
————————————————————————
"He's gonna let me stay?!" I cried out.
"Yes. But there's a few conditions," Dad explained happily, still on a high from Jacob's acceptance. "No hunting, you must eat human food. You must never harm another human. And you must stay out of Jacob's way."
"I can do that!" I said as I leaped into my father's arms hugging him tightly. After I let him go I turned around to Mom. She forced a smile at me and we embraced fiercely.
"We love you," she said as she let me go.
"I love you both too."
Dad grabbed my belongings out of the boot with vampire speed. He handed me two duffle bags. But I had only packed one?
Dad was quick to explain, "This second duffle bag has everything else you need here. It has the cellphone we'll call you on and money. After your Mom and I have left Forks we'll enrol you at the high school and tell Charlie you're staying here."
"How much money? Won't Charlie ask questions as to why I'm staying with a practical stranger alone?"
"Don't worry about the money. No, we have an understanding with Charlie. It's a need to know basis."
"Oh," was all I said back.
"Remember, you have to blend in. No powers and try to act as human as possible. Be safe. No running around in the woods too much."
"Okay, Dad."
My parents, now holding hands, looked at me sorrowfully. They were going to leave now. This was it. Their eyes lingered on me taking in every detail as if committing this moment to memory. The air between us felt heavy, full of concealed emotions.
Mom brushed a ringlet of my hair away from eyes and placed her hand on my cheek. "Behave. You and Jacob are similar so do your best to not bite back at him when he's being annoying."
I had to laugh at her insinuation. And she just had to add a joke about me being annoying in this moment. It was so Mom. I replied," No biting. Got it."
She dropped her hand from my face and looked expectingly up at my father. He whispered,"Goodbye, our wonderful daughter."
"Bye." I was choking back tears at this point as I watched them both get into the car. They glance at me with a look that says everything - the gratitude, the regret and the hope that they'll see me again soon.
I stood there pathetically with both duffle bags at my feet. They waved their last farewell and drove off onto the dirt track, turning onto the main road. And so they were gone now. Completely disappearing from my sight - I was alone.
I had no idea what fate had in store for my family and it terrified me. I became blinded by the flooding in my eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks. Just as I felt the hysteria building in my throat, the rolling of thunder boomed formidably above me. I looked to the sky to discover the sun had vanished, replaced by a vast, brooding blanket of rain clouds. Their deep grey colour tinged with blue and charcoal, hung low over the horizon.
Then, like a cruel joke, the rain broke free, pelting down hard upon me.
I ran to Jacob Black's front door, stopping after taking a single step inside. Drenched from the rain I felt even more physically uncomfortable being here. I looked around the room.
It was an open plan house, the interior walls matching the outside; made from slats of mahogany timber. The living room to the right boasting a very large TV against the wall and a green, three seater chaise couch. The couch was peppered with an assortment of soft looking pillows and a large colourful, woollen blanket with what I assumed to be decorated with Native American patterns. A coffee table in between that was messy with belongings. In the corner of the lounge room was a river stone, wood burning fireplace connecting to the chimney. The humming of the fire and its golden flames illuminated the rest of the house. The kitchen was basic, painted a navy blue and light grey countertops. He had a lot of food. The walls had the most magnificent handmade Native paintings of pine trees and oceans that were hung randomly around the room.
I was in awe at how perfectly cosy and welcoming this place was.
I could see at the end of the house there were three doors. The middle door was slightly ajar - it was the bathroom. Oh dear, just one bathroom. That'll be interesting, I thought dryly. I could sense which room Jacob had locked himself in and immediately went to the other door. I didn't want to be around him either right now.
As it opened I sighed in relief to see it was indeed a guest room. I didn't really feel like sleeping on a couch for months. The room was small and matched the rest of the house's decor. A large double bed with two side tables on either side, a built in wardrobe and a small desk. I threw the duffle bags into the corner and sat slumped on the bed staring down at my feet. What do I do now?
After unpacking and setting up my new room I lay down staring at the ceiling. For about forty minutes now I could hear Jacob on the phone to someone in his room. His voice low and threatening. I tried not to listen in too much but curiosity got the best of me. There was a lot of "she seems human, what was I supposed to do" or "look I don't like the Cullens either but" or "well, you come have a look and tell me you wouldn't have done the same" and finally "she eats human food apparently and she won't trigger the gene". He must be talking to an elder or another pack member.
Guilt, like a tight knot in my stomach, weighed heavily inside me. Not only was he providing me protection but now he was having to defend me. Even though he didn't seem to like me. I decided Jacob Black must be a very good person.
As soon as he hung up his phone rang again and he answered, "Hey, Charlie... yeah...thanks... I'll go get her for you." I sprung up from the bed hearing Charlie's name. Jacob, who probably weighed at least five times as much as me, quietly walked from his room to mine. I could only hear the light, gentle padding of his feet against the hardwood floor. I started to think Dad was being misleading as to how much extra ability he still had as a human.
My door flew open and I stared at Jacob wide eyed and frozen. Hi ferocious brown eyes still dazzling me. His long, wiry, dark arm stretched out towards me. As I gaped at him, I realised he was trying to hand me his phone to talk to Grandpa Charlie. Another blush crept onto my face.
"Thank you", I said to him politely. He didn't answer and briskly turned away back to his room, slamming the door.
"Grandpa Charlie!" I yelled into the phone, a large smile plastered on my face as we spoke.
"Hey, kiddo! So, you're staying with Jake?"
"Uh, yeah. It's complicated."
"I gathered."
"Can I come see you?"
"Of course. Come for dinner. Oh wait-" I could hear him be cut off by something Sue was saying in the background. "Sorry, sweetie. Your Mom said you can only come by weekends. No exceptions. She was very firm about that."
"Oh. Mom already talked to you? That's fine, I guess. I'll see you in two days then!"
"Sure thing. Tell Jake to be nice. And thank you."
"Yeah, okay. Bye Grandpa." Two days. I can wait two days. I walked up towards Jacob's door to give him his phone back but stopped just before I knocked. I debated whether it would be better to just leave it on the kitchen counter for him instead. Before I could come to a decision he opened the door. I had to crane my neck up to look at him. Crazy to think I had once thought my five foot ten stature was tall.
Piercing eyes looked at me accusingly and I could physically feel his displeasure radiating off his enormous body.
I gulped audibly and said very softly, "Thanks for letting me use your phone. Mom and Dad chucked mine and I haven't got a new one yet. Grandpa Charlie says thank you."
"Sure, sure," was all he said before grabbing the phone out of my hands and shutting the door in my face. Hmph. For a person so good hearted he sure liked to make things difficult. I rolled my eyes at the shut door and creeped back to my room.
For the rest of the night I stayed in bed reading. Thankful to myself for remembering to pack a book. It was Pride and Prejudice, my favourite. Engrossing myself into the story helped distract me from reality. It kept the tears at bay. For now.
Hunger eventually snuck up on me. I got out of bed and creaked the door open, peaking my head out. I couldn't hear anything except for the crackling of the fire. Jacob must've left. I ran into the kitchen at lightening speed and opened the fridge to see if there was anything for me to eat. Nothing screamed out to me so I settled on having an apple. As I crunched down on my pitiful meal, while leaning against the kitchen countertop, my sensitive ears picked up on two people approaching the house.
Jacob and a large burley man walked in through the front door. Jacob, now wearing a tight black shirt, was a good four inches taller than the other man with the short glossy black hair. This new comer was no where near as stunning or commanding in presence. But I knew immediately from sight and smell he was a werewolf. From Mom and Dad's explanation, I had expected a werewolf to smell like wet dog but instead, to me, he smelt human mixed with an intense pine and musky aroma. The werewolf's eyes bulged immediately when he saw me.
Jacob rolled his eyes at the man and started, "Quil, this is..."
"Renesmee," I smiled warmly at him after swallowing a piece of apple.
A sly smile broke out onto Quil's face as he reached out to give me a handshake, it looked like he was trying to flex his bicep while doing so. "I'm Quil Ateara, lovely to meet you Renesmee". As we shook hands I contemplated how we felt the same temperature. Everyone always felt so cold to me. Odd.
Jacob began speaking again," See, I told you so-" but he was cut off quickly by Quil who was still staring at me smiling. "So, Renesmee. You've come to torture our Jakey here," he joked. Jacob shut his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose in mortification.
"Oh no, I don't want to be any trouble for Jacob. Or anyone here."
"So, I take it you're not dangerous then?"
"No, I'm really not. Sorry to disappoint. But I take it you are? Being a werewolf and all".
Quil laughed and replied," Yeah, unfortunately I haven't been able to stick to the whole human thing yet. Not that I really want to."
"So, what can I do you for?" Curious as to why Jacob had brought him here to stare at me like I was a prized animal at a zoo.
"I just came to assess the situation. You look and smell human besides the sweet perfume scent. Gotta report back to the oldies on whether or not you're a threat."
"Oh. I understand." I wasn't wearing any perfume though?
"Don't worry, I'll give you the all clear. Well, Jacob's already done that but it's better to have someone who's not completely human double check ya know."
"Hmmm, wise thinking."
Quil winked at me and I felt slightly uncomfortable but I giggled anyway.
Jacob smacked Quil's arm saying," Alright, off ya go now."
"Naw, I wanna stay and talk to Renesmee," Quil said still not taking his eyes off me.
"Can I see you in wolf form?" I suddenly blurted out. The large men looked at me incredulously. I had always wanted to see a werewolf and this felt like a safe chance. Besides, Mom and Dad weren't here to say no. A pang of discomfort played at the strings of my heart thinking about them. I brushed it aside focusing on being able to see something magical; a real werewolf. It was a frantic effort to shift my focus away from the despair of leaving my family. But I needed refuge and so I seized this moment to keep me from drifting into a depression.
Quil looked to Jake as if to ask for permission. Jacob shrugged and looked at me confused, asking," You really wanna see? It doesn't scare you?" His worried demeanour towards me gave me whiplash. Weren't they supposed to be scared of me?
"Nope. If you're okay with it, I'd really like to see."
Quil shrugged and said," Well, alright then. Come outside."
We all walked to the back of Jacob's house that faced the vast and mystical forest. It was almost nighttime but my eyes could see perfectly clearly.
Quil jumped behind a large tree and I was about to follow until Jacob hurried," Don't follow him. Trust me. You might see something that'll make you want to gauge your eyes out." He laughed at his joke I didn't understand. Jacob looked at me seeing I didn't pick up on the jest and explained," We don't phase in and out of existence with clothes on."
"Oh, right. Makes sense." I turned colour and watched Jacob lean up against another tree, his hands in his pockets. Trying my best not to think of Jacob Black naked and transforming into a large dog, I remembered to ask, "It's safe right?"
Jacob said nothing, looking out into the forest waiting for his friend. His face calm and composed, not giving any emotion away.
I chewed my bottom lip anxiously awaiting Quil's return. Excitement still bubbling in my veins.
I gasped.
The impossibly big werewolf emerged from the blanket of trees. All the legends and stories Mom told me did the wolf no justice.
The animal was the size of a horse and had a bushy tail with thick, dense, chocolate brown fur. The wolf's broad skull had a narrow muzzle full of finger length, sharp canines that would've been scary if it weren't for his cocked back ears and long tongue hanging ridiculously out the side of his mouth. Quil was trying to make a funny face in his wolf form. If it weren't for the shock I would have been laughing much louder. His eyes big and brown, full of awareness just like a humans would be. Absolutely magnificent he was!
I looked back to Jacob automatically before asking Quil passionately, "Can I pet you? Sorry, I don't know if that's rude or not." I chuckled once nervously awaiting a reply.
The wolf nodded his gigantic head. It felt so strange to know that Quil was in there. I tentatively reached my hand out to scratch his head. A deep and rumbling purr of approval echoed from his throat into the forest. His fur was rough but still soft somehow.
I was over the moon with joy, my body buzzing head to toe. I started quietly laughing again as I scratched behind his ear. Eventually, I stepped back and begrudgingly let Quil phase back into human form.
"That was amazing!!" I yelled as I ran up to Jacob.
He stared at me blankly still leaning against the tree. Then he pursed his lips into a straight line, his black brows furrowing with disapproval. He turned his head away from me to look back towards the house.
I fiddled with the hem of my shirt feeling ashamed. But I wasn't sure why I felt that way. I couldn't think of what I had done to upset him. Don't ask, don't ask, don't ask, I chanted in my head. But my brain disconnected from my mouth as I said," What colour is your fur as a wolf?" I put my finger in my mouth and bit down hard to stop me from saying anything else.
I swear I could have seen a glimpse of a smile at the corner of his lips before he replied in a monotone voice,"Kind of a reddish brown I guess?"
"Quil must be one of the most biggest wolves! I have never seen anything like it. That was awesome," I gushed bashfully. Apparently, biting my finger didn't stop me from talking either. Stop opening your big mouth, I reminded myself.
Jacob just snorted. I raised an eyebrow at him but he was still looking away from me, his arms crossed now.
Quil appeared and answered my silent question, "Oh, he's just laughing cause he's the big old Alpha and we're small compared to him. Or were anyway. But you are right, I am massive." He flexed his bicep muscles at me flirtatiously while strutting past me up to the house. I rolled my eyes at him and giggled. Men. It wasn't lost on me what Quil had said. Jacob was the biggest wolf and made the others look small. The thought of his size made me shudder.
When we all got back to the house, I excused myself to my room. I had caused enough chaos and I didn't want to intrude further. Another trait from my mother I've been told. Jacob and Quil stayed in the lounge room whispering quietly to each other. They were obviously unsure how perceptive and superior my hearing was in comparison to theirs.
I heard Quil whistle with approval and say to Jacob," She's a beauty. No wonder you accepted to take her in."
"Don't be gross Quil. I don't want her here. But like I said, she looks so human it was hard for me to not say yes. They seemed really desperate," Jacob sighed.
"Whatever man. I think you got a good look at her behind and decided otherwise."
"Can you not be an adult for like five minutes? Did someone drop you as a baby?"
"Jeez, alright. Sorry. She seems sweet. And very human. You were right, I was expecting some greedy red eyes. She's brave too wanting to see me in wolf form. Although, I guess she's used to monsters. I don't think she's a threat to the tribe. Most importantly her presence didn't trigger you or me to want to phase."
"Thanks, Quil. I need the support."
"We got your back, Jake. Don't worry. So... was it weird seeing you know who?"
"Oh, Bella. A bit weird. I already mourned for my friend a long time ago. What's done is done. I couldn't save her so maybe this is my chance to save her daughter in some twisted way."
"Yeah, I guess so. But Jake. You really need to start staying away from the Swan women." Both men chortled darkly.
"Thanks for stopping by. See you Saturday night?"
"Sir, yes sir," Quil replied. I heard the front door shut and Jacob stalk to his room.
I reeled over their conversation, analysing every detail. Firstly, Jacob, as the rightful chief, had official given me the all clear to stay on tribal land. This was a relief and I felt eternally grateful for him. A sense of deja vu washed over me. At least I would be safe from the Volturi. For now. Secondly, it was painfully obvious that the Quileutes did not approve of the vampire lifestyle and considers us their mortal enemies. This much I already knew but it felt different coming face to face with it. Thirdly, Quil insinuated that Jacob thought I was attractive. I knew that to most humans I was perceived as being unconscionably beautiful as my mother would say. But thinking about Jacob finding me pretty sent a thrill up my spine. Lastly, this sudden crush I had developed felt forbidden and ill-fated. Especially considering Jacob's history with Mom and Dad. I didn't like thinking of Jacob and my mother together. Not to mention the whole werewolf and being human thing. A lightbulb went off in my head - I wonder if Jacob has a girlfriend?
I sighed heavily. This had been a long day. I desperately needed a shower and a good nights sleep. After washing my hair and preparing for bed, I placed the cellphone my parents gave me on the night stand. I felt my fingers twitching to use it. But I couldn't as Dad warned me. I could only receive their calls.
Silent tears poured out of me in waves, sometimes quiet and steady and other times in uncontrollable, shuddering breaths. My pillow was saturated. My crying eventually slowed until a sense of emptiness and calm overcame me. I slipped into sleep, not from peace but from pure fatigue, my mind and body surrendering to rest.
When I awoke the next morning I couldn't breathe. My heart was racing and my palms were clenched. Terror pulsed through my veins. My throat tightened and my mouth began to dry. The morning light shone through my window blinding me. Once I managed to get my breathing under control, the horror of my nightmare slowly began to wash away. I had dreamed of my parents being taken captive by the Volturi. I shook my head attempting to force the image away. Placing a hand upon my forehead to steady myself, I took a deep breath in and sat upright in my new bed. I took in my surroundings feeling melancholy I was not at home.
And so my new life began.
For three whole weeks, Jacob and I tiptoed around each other.
I was still waiting to hear back from Forks High School about my enrolment status. Forks ran on 'small-town time' as I liked to call it. I was practically dying of boredom. Jacob wouldn't speak to me and was at work all day anyway, I couldn't explore the forest, no hunting, no new phone, no car, no nothing. The only saving grace was seeing Grandpa Charlie for dinner on the weekends. But even then, Grandpa was a man of few words. I had finally begged him enough to take me into town to buy a cellphone and laptop. This would take the edge off being locked up at Jacob Blacks. The next thing I needed was a car. Sue said I should ask Jacob as she believes he has an old one hiding in his garage he doesn't use any more. Works for me - I can buy it off him too which would make me feel less guilty.
Mum and Dad had only called me once since their departure and it lasted for roughly forty five seconds. It was still a relief to hear their voices. I asked when they were coming to get me but they couldn't give me an answer. Not having my parents near unleashed a tsunami of nightmares unto me every night. I was exhausted. And so bored.
I decided, probably from lack of stimulation, that I would ask Jacob about purchasing a car from him tonight.
When the clock struck 6.30pm, his dinner time, I marched up to him. He was sitting on a high stool against the grey granite kitchen island eating a large, greasy, homemade hamburger. He wore his pajamas - grey sweatpants and an oversized white tee. His luscious black hair, not in his usual braids, hung freely against his back and sides of his face. Jacob looked utterly content and I felt a twinge of regret about my decision. I stood across from him, the kitchen island a barrier between us. He stared at me perplexed; we never interacted during dinner. Or ever really.
Before I let the anxiety of my crush for him take over, I took a deep breath and asked," May I please buy a car?"
Jacob raised both eyebrows at me and chuckled, his mouth still full of food," Sure, sure. I'm not stopping you. Do what you want."
"Well, that's the thing. I can't exactly afford to go car shopping with Grandpa Charlie and he can't purchase anything for me for safety reasons. I was thinking I could borrow a used car off of you and pay you, like rent?"
"Works for me," he stated nonchalantly. I was surprised by his answer.
"Oh, really? Thank you!"
"Sure, sure," he said licking his fingers. My heart accelerated slightly.
"This is such a relief. I really need a car before starting school."
Jacob nodded before enquiring," When do you start?"
"Not entirely sure yet. They're still figuring out the enrolment papers. Hopefully next week."
"Huh, I've never meet someone who actually wanted to go to school."
"I do and I don't. I've technically already finished two degrees - one in Music and the other in Biology. So school content isn't exactly exciting for me. But I like the drama of it all and friends. Besides, I'm cooped up here with nothing to do."
"True. Why don't you explore the woods? Get a job?"
"You sound like my Dad," I giggled.
Jacob sneered," Please never compare me to a bloodsucker." His insult wounded me and I frowned at him. Jacob took notice and tagged on,"No offence intended."
"Non taken," I lied.
After an awkward silence, I pried, unable to help myself," So, you're a mechanic?"
"Uh-huh," he replied taking another enormous bite of his meal. He seemed so disinterested in talking to me at all. I felt glum. I wasn't used to people not taking an immediate liking towards me.
"Why do you hate me?" I whispered, staring down at the kitchen table, my bottom lip jutting out. I shouldn't have asked. I had promised to stay out of his way.
He sighed in frustration. "I don't hate you, kid."
I looked up meeting his warm eyes. He forced a small smile at me that eventually turned into a real one. Maybe it was in response to my shocked and beaming face at his words.
He finished the last bite of his food and placed his dirty dishes into the sink saying to me,"Come on. I'll show you the car you can borrow."
"Awesome," I replied joyously following his lead.
We went out to the side of the house to his makeshift shed. I had previously been too nervous to investigate what was inside, just in case it bothered him; me nosing around.
Unlocking the door there were two cars inside. One was a black Nissan Skyline GT-R (R34) and the other a red 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit.
"Wow! These are amazing," I surged with ardour. I pestered him with all sorts of questions about the cars, genuinely intrigued.
He responded with equal enthusiasm and a bright smile. I could see the gleam in his eyes as he spoke, obviously impressed with my mechanical knowledge too. It felt natural and easy talking to him like this. Overjoyed to answer my questions, I felt I had hit a sweet spot with Jacob Black and felt determined to use this knowledge about him in my favour in future.
"So which one's mine?" I asked.
"The Rabbit of course. Don't touch my Skyline," he warned humorously.
"Don't touch Skyline. Got it," I said crossing my heart. He grinned at me and my heart soured.
After a long discussion concerning all things cars, I diverted my attention to two large items hidden under a cover in the corner.
"What are these?"
"Oh, they're just some motorbikes. I haven't touched them in eons. Your Mom and I actually built those. Or I did, she just watched," he replied calmly.
"How come you didn't sell them?"
"I'm not sure. Guess it seemed such a waste if I did. I spent a lot of time on them."
"You should use them."
He nodded agreeing while patting the dusty covered bike.
My throat tightened as I offered, "I'll ride with you?" With my mind now stuck in the gutter, I joked internally to myself how much I wanted riding lessons from Jacob Black.
"Sure, sure," Jacob replied. This seemed to be a signature saying of his. My attempt at friendship appeared to be failing slightly.
His smile faded and he began walking back to the house. He turned his head back around to look at me before saying," Oh, before I forget. Here." He threw me the keys to the Rabbit.
"Thanks! How much do you want for it?" I asked loudly as he kept trudging away from me. He didn't answer.
I stared at my new car ecstatically. I felt like a proud Mom but even more giddy. I get to drive Jacob's car.
Chapter 3: SERIOUSLY, AM I THAT EASY TO READ?
Chapter Text
———————————————————————-
Songs:
King of Bones, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Heading to New Mexico, Tee Cloud
———————————————————————-
It was finally my first day of school. At no other than Forks High. How hilarious.
The drive from Jacob's to Forks was only thirty minutes. If I ran I would make it in ten but I had to keep my cover.
When I arrived everyone stared at me in wonder and adoration, parting like the sea as I walked past.
I kept my head down not wanting the attention. I wore dark blue, low rise jeans with a white tank top underneath a burgundy long sleeve exposing the tops of my breasts. And of course a large brown coat, lined with fur to keep up the charade. I was not cold but I should be if I were human.
My wild auburn hair voluminous and untamed fell all around me, so long now that it touched my waist. My skin didn't sparkle but glowed. I understood the need for the stares due to my vampiric lure. They couldn't help it. But I still didn't like it.
Throughout the day multiple people stopped me to introduce themselves politely and, as expected, I received a lot of male attention. Not from any males I wanted attention from.
I had yet to find a group of friends that suited me but this didn't bother me. I had time to weave through the crowd of teenagers and it wouldn't matter in the long haul. I would outlive all these people anyway. Besides, I didn't plan on staying long.
It was a good day nonetheless and it kept me occupied. My favourite part was the drive back to the reservation. I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at the scenery here. I had rummaged around a little in the car and found a whole stack of CD's. I didn't recognise many names or bands. I was mostly used to classical music thanks to my father. I chucked on a random CD on titled Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and hit play. While, I wouldn't say it's my usual style it gave me goosebumps listening to them. Handsome and has great, albeit eclectic, taste in music, I thought.
Back at Jacobs it was raining unforgivingly.
I ran inside. Jacob wasn't home yet so I stripped off and hopped in the shower, moaning as the heat touched my skin. Finishing up, I promptly realised I had forgotten a towel and a change of clothes. Just as I was about to make a run for it to my room, I heard Jacob enter the house. Damn it. Multiple scenarios bombarded my mind. Double damn it.
"Hello!" I yelled out, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Hey," he replied. I could hear him taking his jacket off and settling in.
"Kind of awkward," I kept yelling," Would you mind grabbing me a towel? Please?" I shut my eyes cringing at myself. The bathroom had become a mini sauna, the mist saturating the bathroom. The air felt thick in my mouth.
"Oh. Yeah, hang on a sec." I heard him banging around in a cupboard before he knocked lightly on the door. "Here", he said slowly opening the door until it was ajar an inch. He shoved the towel inside the bathroom. As I grabbed it, our hands accidentally brushed. Just like Quil, we were the same temperature. I shut the door swiftly and said," Thank you."
He stood still outside the door for a moment. Strange. After a few more second he stalked off back to the kitchen.
Thankful I had a towel now, I dried myself off and wrapped it around me. I would still have to make a run for my room. I peaked out to see him rummaging in the kitchen, his back turned to me. Bingo. I sped off into my room, shutting the door with a light bang. Changing into my pajamas I felt much more at ease. I wore a matching baby blue silk set; a lace cami and booty shorts.
"Do you want any left over lasagna?" I heard Jacob politely call from the kitchen. Well, that was an unexpected turn of events. Was he trying to make an effort at friends? Roommates would probably be a better term.
I threw on a grey jumper, suddenly embarrassed of my outfit, and replied hurriedly," Yes, please."
I was going to have dinner with Jacob Black. Go figures. This thought made my stomach churn in anticipation followed by an assault of butterflies in my abdomen. My heart pounding. I prayed his hearing wasn't as perceptive as mine.
I walked up to the kitchen, the aroma of dinner clinging to the air, and sat at one of the high stools. I rested my head in my hands watching him. His back was turned to me as he set up two plates of hot lasagna. Even from behind he looked magnificent. Tall, dark and built. I appreciated the contrast of his russet skin against his grease stained white T-Shirt. He turned around, not looking at me, and placed the meal in front of me.
"Thank you," I whispered, already turning colour. "I should probably be giving you money for all the food I eat here."
"Nah, don't worry about it. I'd rather that than the alternative", he shrugged. He took a large bite of his own lasagna.
Oh. Right, I forgot he thought my lifestyle was disgusting. I chirped up," I don't drink human blood you know. I'm vehemently against that. Us Cullens are vegetarians remember."
Jacob raised his eyebrows and muttered,"Some vegetarians."
I pursed my lips. This dinner wasn't going as well as it did in my head.
Jacob looked at me directly then and stated," You have had human blood though."
I stared back, angry at his accusation. "Have not."
"Have to."
"Have not! How would you even know?" I took a bite of lasagna, chewing hard.
"I saw you."
I raised my eyebrows at him this time. "Huh?"
"You bit Bella. When you were ... born."
"I did? Oh, yeah I did," the memory came back faded and blurry. "I didn't know it was wrong. I was a baby. Were you there or something or was this a rumour one of the other werewolves made up?" I regretted my sarcastic question instantly. He started it, I thought defensively.
"No," he said gripping his fork so hard it started to bend," no one started a rumour. I told you already. I saw you. I was giving CPR to Bella and I saw it happen."
Blood drained from my face at his answer. What could I even say back to that? I had bitten my Mom. Unintentionally. I didn't know at the time it would hurt her. I felt ashamed and saddened thinking of Jacob witnessing this while trying to save my Mom. No one ever told me he was there for my birth.
Fighting back tears I replied softly," It was an accident. I didn't know. I was very sorry. I am sorry. And that was the only time I've ever bitten someone just FYI."
He nodded, his fury had washed away with my apology. We ate in silence for a few minutes, both of us too scared to speak.
I finally spoke up," I'm not a monster you know. I'm not a demon spawn."
His eyes flashed to mine then and I could see the regret and apology in his eyes. "You don't seem like a monster. I don't think you're a demon spawn. Not anymore at least." He smirked at his own last comment.
I rolled my eyes and smiled back," Sorry to disappoint. Kind of wish I came out with three legs and two heads. Would've made the whole thing a bit more climactic."
He laughed big and deep at me. "You got that right. What kind of vampire traits do you have anyway? Besides the whole diet thing?" I could sense he was just curious in his line of questioning and not wanting to start another argument.
"Well, I'm not as fast or strong as other vampires but I can take down a human no problem. I'm not venomous though. I have very good hearing and sense of smell. My skin kind of shines in the sun. To be honest, I am jealous I don't sparkle. I can survive on many different diets. I can't have children." I whispered my last sentence. I don't know why I felt compelled to tell him that. I looked back down at my meal. But I didn't tell him about my gift, afraid it would spook him further.
"I'm sorry about that."
"That's okay. I've come to terms with it. I can only have children with another hybrid and I don't think there's any more of me out there. If I was a male hybrid however it would've been free game," I chuckled. Jacob laughed with me but it was very surface level. He obviously felt pity for me. I added, trying to make light of our dark topic of conversation," So if you know anyone with twenty four chromosomes, send them my way!"
He didn't laugh this time. He bit his lip and looked down amused with himself.
"What?" I jabbed. Did he know something I didn't?
"Nothing. I assume they didn't tell you for a reason, so it doesn't matter."
"Hey! That's not fair. You have to tell me. Why wouldn't they tell me something that has to do with my reproductive organs?"
He stared at me, rolling his lips between his teeth. "It doesn't have to do with you."
"Well. I'm waiting."
He rolled his eyes and sighed, "I have twenty four pairs of chromosomes." My jaw dropped and I gaped at him. He tried not to laugh at my stupefied face. Jacob had twenty four pairs of chromosomes? We could potentially have kids?
Eventually, Jacob was the first to talk. "I charge a high price for my sperm so don't bother asking. But, I'm sure you can ask Quil, I don't think he'd care." Jacob's grin was impossibly wide and it was hard not to smile back at him. I blushed a crimson red. So, I could potentially have a child with a werewolf. Wow.
"Ha-ha. Wow. I guess I understand why they didn't tell me then."
"Yeah, I don't think leech mommy and daddy want their daughter shacking up with a werewolf."
"First of all, don't talk about my parents that way. Second of all, you can keep your sperm mister," I joked back. So I wasn't a dead end after all! No pun intended.
His heartfelt chuckle vibrated throughout the room. After a few seconds a thought seemed to have popped in his head. He looked at me abashed," Sorry, I just remembered you're a kid. Probably shouldn't be making jokes about that stuff."
"I'm not a kid. I mean technically, yes I am seven but. Cognitively, I'm about thirty. Do I look like a child to you anyway?"
"No," he said hesitantly. He assessed my face in agonising detail. "No, you look maybe twenty or twenty one?" It was hard to tell if he was blushing or not under his dark skin.
"Exactly," I stated, pointing my fork at him.
"So, what's with going to high school then if you've already finished a couple degrees." It seemed he desperately wanted to move away from the topic of my looks. I was touched he had remembered our past conversation of schooling.
"It's easier to keep up the facade if I do. Means I can stay in a place much longer too."
He nodded understandingly. We had almost finished our dinner.
I changed the subject wanting to ask something before I ran out of time. Before he started ignoring me again. "Mom always described you as like the sun in her stories. Always happy. You don't seem happy." I tried to sound as nonjudgmental as possible.
He looked shocked by my question. Maybe it was too personal. We hadn't exactly graduated from roommates to friends yet. I hoped he wasn't offended.
After some agonisingly long seconds he finally answered," I am happy. It took me a long time to get there, I'll admit. I guess I don't seem it because I'm not used to having a non-demon spawn in my house." He was entitled to a joke considering the intensity of my question. I made him unhappy. I tried to not let this upset me.
"Right. Sorry. So ... do you ... y'know... have a girlfriend then?" I couldn't have asked the question in a more humiliating manner. My face a beat red again. He laughed at my discomfort. I started picking at the leftover lasagna on my plate, cursing at my mother's trait.
"No, not anymore." I nodded at his answer and bit my tongue.
He added patronisingly," You're not gonna ask?"
"I want to. I just don't want to push my luck is all. About the question! Not about..." I gave up on my sentence. It was futile and he was already smirking at me.
He rolled his eyes at me. "It's hard to be with someone when you can't be yourself all the time. Protecting the secret. Me being a wolf. It caused... some obstacles. And I'm not completely sure if I'm aging yet. Didn't seem fair." I was stunned at his honesty. I felt the pull towards him grow stronger.
"I'm so sorry. That must've been very difficult." Relief still hit me like a truck from his confession and I tried to bury it down deep.
He shrugged in response. "I'm a glutton for punishment apparently."
"No. You're just an undeniably good person."
He smiled warmly at me as he took our plates to the sink. "I guess you're not so bad yourself, kid. I'm still disappointed you don't have two heads though."
I stuck my tongue out at him. "Thank you for dinner Jacob. It was lovely."
He said nothing for a moment. As he began to wash our dishes he stated," Oh, by the way, there's our annual bonfire party coming up in a month or two. Charlie's coming, so you're invited."
Even though I was only invited via Grandpa Charlie's attendance, I was moved by the invitation. "Awesome! A human party! I'm not sure if it's a good idea though, I have two left feet when it comes to dancing."
Jacob snorted," That's an enticing idea making you get up there and perform an interpretive dance. But don't worry, you don't have to do any dancing if you don't want to. Anyway, would be good for you to meet the pack. So they can see you're not draining my blood and keeping me as a slave."
I laughed nervously in response. It guess was my turn to be scared of them now.
It had been a week since my dinner with Jacob and I felt light and buoyant, as if I could walk on water. Slowly but surely we were making progress.
It would be nice to have someone to talk to during the week.
Jacob had asked me one night after he got home about what the Volturi wanted from me but I couldn't give him an answer, not knowing myself.
That was the extent of our conversation for that day.
He hadn't invited me to join him for another dinner since but I could feel his very minimal affection for me growing. I would just have to wait him out.
Mom and Dad called again and it was just the same as the last time. Quick, with limited information and lots of "I love you". It distressed me greatly to not hear their voices for long. Most nights I would stare at the cellphone hoping, praying and waiting. It's silence a constant reminder of the lingering threat and loneliness my life had been engulfed by.
It was Wednesday night and I was at Grandpa Charlie's.
I managed to convince him to let me come by during the week even though it was against Mom and Dad's rules. Oh, what the hell, it'll be our secret he had said giving in to my pleas. He was a big old softy though he'd never admit to it.
Sue, Grandpa and I were having dinner in the lounge room while watching the game. Sue Clearwater, although initially very adverse to building a relationship with me, now adored me. Over the years we had grown close and I came to see her like a third grandma. It overjoyed Mom to know Grandpa had someone to look after him. She worried he would feel lonely once she left for Alaska with Dad and I. That couldn't be further from the truth now that he had Sue. But she never talked much about the tribe or her family around me if she could help it. I assumed it would make her feel traitorous to let a half-vampire or her human partner know the ins and outs of the werewolf world. It wasn't her secret to give away. So I always did my best not try pry.
Sue spoke quietly to me, as to not disturb Grandpa Charlie,"So, how's it been recently at Jake's?"
"Good. We are almost on a talking basis now. He's been incredibly generous letting me eat all of his food and borrow his car. I keep trying to pay him but he refuses to take my money."
"That's very Jacob of him to refuse. Us Quileutes pride ourself on generosity so don't be offended."
"No, I try not to. He did call it blood-money which was a bit rude. But I can see through his mask. How can I deny how much of an incredible person he is after everything he's done and continues to do for my family. And I don't think he does it because of his past feelings toward my mother either. I think he does he does it because he knows it's right. Maybe it's in his genes or something."
Sue smiled dearly at me replying," Yes. I think you're quite right about that. It was unfortunate how long it took everyone to catch on. But someday I think Jacobs story will become legend in our tribe."
"I hope his story ends well. He deserves a happy ending."
"Yes, he does. Be patient with Jake. He'll come round to you, I'm sure of it. You're strangely alike the two of you."
"We are? I guess we have similar temperaments and like cars."
"There's a lot more than just that. Don't worry, you'll see."
"You sound so ominous, Sue. Am I missing something?"
"No, no. I just feel it in my bones. My old, creaking bones."
I giggled at her,"Sure, sure."
She grinned widely at me using Jacob's iconic phrase before stating," You like him a lot don't you." Her face hardened.
I looked away directing my attention to the TV so she couldn't see my expression properly. "Yeah. Kind of."
She nudged my arm trying to manipulate more information out of me. I rolled my eyes at her and huffed. "I think he's very beautiful and courageous and generous. I've heard so many stories about him growing up it's kind of hard for me to not have a soft spot for him. But it feels wrong for me to like him so much considering the past with him and ... Bella? And the fact that he was avoiding me like the plague. Dad would be furious if he knew..." I mumbled more to myself than to Sue.
She hummed appreciatively in response. "We can't help who we like or love sometimes. It just is."
Love? I didn't love Jacob. It was a mild infatuation. Okay, a big one. I had never had a proper crush before. I had only ever kissed one boy, a human, and found it to be horribly boring. But the thought of kissing Jacob didn't seem boring. I felt tingles of electricity tremble through me from the fantasy. It's just a fantasy, I reminded to myself. No need to get worked up about it.
After the game, Grandpa Charlie drove me back to Jacob's. It was just about to get dark, the sunset ablaze with vivid colours of purple and dark orange. The wind whipped around the trees causing the branches to bend and shriek.
As I was walking up the steps to the porch, Jacob sped by me towards the garage. I turned around following him with my eyes to ask," Where are you going?"
"I'm going to see my Dad. I'll be back in a few." He strutted confidently towards his car. A lump was building in my throat. He was going to leave me alone at night? I could feel a panic attack approaching that felt eerily similar to the aftershock of my recent nightmares. I attempted to control my breathing and heart rate. Jacob wasn't my babysitter. Not technically. But I couldn't shake the thought of the Volturi finding me alone, here, in the dark.
Jacob was opening the car door but stopped before he hopped inside. He looked at me worryingly," You okay?"
I played anxiously with the string of my hoodie. "Uhh... it's just... I've never been alone at night before," I admitted. I could feel my face frowning as I peered at him. I wouldn't ask him to stay, that was unfair.
Jacob looked back and forth from me to his car. Obviously torn between what to do. His fingers tapped against the hood impatiently.
"Well. Come with me then. We won't be there for long," he finally decided.
The relief of his words felt like a deep breath after holding it for too long, a weight lifting off my chest. There was a quiet assurance that for now everything would be okay if he let me join him. "Are you sure? I promise I won't be a hassle!"
"Yeah, come on. You've done good on your promise to me so far, so, doubt you'll be any trouble for my Dad. If you can put up with me, my Dad will be as easy as cake," he reassured. He meant my promise to stay out of his way.
"Cool! I'd like to meet your Dad. To see where you got your big muscly genes from," I joked.
Jacob rolled his eyes at me and jabbed back," Keep your eyes to yourself. The gun show ain't free."
I laughed hopping into the passenger seat. "Oh, but you see you're wrong! It has been free."
I looked out the window while we bantered, afraid he'd sense or see my bodily reaction to him. He didn't need me to inflate his ego any more than I was sure hundreds of other women did on a daily basis. I felt slightly annoyed thinking of how many people must throw themselves at him.
Jacob laughed big and boisterous at my comment. I was glad he found my subtle flirtations and jests amusing. He started the car and off we went. I felt slightly nervous going to meet his father. But if he was anything like Jake, when he was in a good mood, I knew I'd be fine.
I squirmed uncomfortably during the ride to Billy's. Jacob just looked so ... so tempting as he drove. It felt impossible to stop the avalanche of raunchy fantasies that played out in my head.
"Don't be nervous. He won't bite," Jacob chuckled, his deep voice yanking me out of my thoughts abruptly. He had a never ending list of vampire quips. I was thankful Jacob had misinterpreted my shifting uncontrollably as nerves.
It only took us four minutes to arrive at Billy Blacks house. It was just as Mom had described. A small wooden shack painted red, now dull and stripped away by the passing years. Completed with an old rickety shed next to two wooden rotting boats, clearly untouched for many moons. The backyard faced the forest just as Jacobs place does. Oddly, I felt a sense of wistfulness and deja vu being here.
Perhaps I had imagined this place in a dream once.
Jacob took off quickly to the front door yelling at me, "Quick, before it rains!"
I followed swiftly behind him. Inside was cramped but still very homely and warm. I understood where Jacob had gotten his interior design ideas from.
An old man with straight salt and peppery black hair sat comfortably by the kitchen, reading a newspaper in a wheelchair. His skin a deep cinnamon brown was now leathery with age, his face full of majesty, his deep set eyes big and almost black. He looked up from his paper and grinned widely at Jacob, full of love and affection. So, Jacob had inherited his infectious smile from his father, I thought. So touched by this moment between the two I was, that I felt a pang of jealousy. I longed to see my Mom and Dad.
After Jacob had leaned down to embrace his father and the two patted each other hard on their backs, Billy popped his head around his son's enormous body to stare at me. At first he was shocked but his demeanour morphed into one of intrigue.
"Hello, there," Billy said in a gruff baritone voice.
"Hello, lovely to meet you. I'm Renesmee," I replied politely smiling down at him.
"Yes, I know. Are you staying for dinner or should I say dessert, my dear? It's a dish that's been handed down many generations, you'd be a fool to pass up on the offer," he said in a grave and ominous voice. His smile big and good humoured.
I giggled replying, "How could I say no to that?"
"Great choice," he said clapping his hands together.
"Are you serving us the bread pudding Sue made?" Jacob taunted his father.
"Only the best for my son. And guest." Billy mocked back. Both men smiling wide at each other. Jacob seemed much more at ease and in his element around his father. They both simultaneously poked fun at one another while still being supportive and caring. They seemed to enjoy each other's company immensely.
Billy made me feel right at home and did his best to include me in every conversation. I deeply respected his welcoming attitude towards me while ignoring the fact that I imposed a great disposition to his family.
"So would you like to see any baby photos of my boy here?" Billy teased.
"Please! I can imagine he was one big baby, eh?"
"Unfortunately, for his mother. But he was so cute when he wasn't grabbing at our hair and trying to eat it."
I giggled as Billy pulled out a large, thick black album from a drawer next to the kitchen.
"Dad, seriously. No more baby photos. You've shown practically the whole town by now," Jacob murmured.
"Come, come." Billy gestured for me to come over and take a look. He started flipping through the album as though he knew exactly which pages would get the best reaction from onlookers. He stopped and exclaimed," Ah-ha! Here we go."
Billy explained every photo with a story or smile to which Jacob either snickered or cut in with his own perspective of the memory. Billy wasn't always in a wheelchair as confirmed by their extensive and detailed narratives of their lives. Still, Billy explained that his diabetes didn't stop him from dancing when he lost the ability to walk over ten years ago. I also learned that Jacob had two older twin sisters, now moved away, and that his mother stopped appearing in the photos from when Jacob was a small child. I discerned she must have passed away considering how they reminisced and spoke about her with so much adoration. Jacob must have had to care for his father with his mother and sisters gone. Though, he didn't seem to have minded at all.
Jacob and I spent a wonderful two hours with Billy laughing and talking. I felt exuberant to witness Jake in his state of contentment, his true self radiating.
I finally understood now why Mom had always compared him to the sun. His happiness extended to all those around him. I felt warm and giddy with him near. We bounced off each other like kindred spirits, as easy as breathing. I hadn't enjoyed myself a night like this in a very long time. I smiled so much my cheeks hurt. I felt I belonged and that was special.
Dessert, for human food, was positively delicious and I thanked Billy. Before we excused ourselves Jacob ticked off for the bathroom and I was left alone with Billy momentarily.
"How are you doing my dear, without your parents?" Billy's voice was very low now.
"Okay," I lied. He continued to stare at me, seeing through my deception. "Not so great actually," I confessed.
"It's to be expected. You have people here for you so don't be shy to ask for help. Charlie's a good man, he'll take care of you too."
"Yeah, Grandpa Charlie is the best. So is Jake. He's doing his best. I know it's not my place but I want you to know that my family owes him everything and more. He's too good for this world, too good to be surrounded by monsters and myths. I apologise on my mother's behalf for everything that happened here. I never wanted to cause your son any more distress. I want to say I'm sorry."
Billy looked at me bewildered. His grasped my hand in his and replied, "Thank you. Children are not beholden to their parent's mistakes. I know Bella was just doing what she thought to be right. Jacob explained everything to me. I'm sorry you're caught up in a mess. It's our duty to protect the innocent and that's what we'll do." His large, wrinkly strong hand let go and patted mine gently.
Jacob walked back into the room then and nodded to the door. "Alright Dad, we're off now. Love you," he said with a thickset hand placed on his father's shoulder.
"Good-bye son, love you too. Do me a favour and stop tormenting the sweet girl. Having a crush is both the best and worst feeling - stop trying to make her blush all the time," Billy said cheekily.
Jacob kicked his wheelchair lightly, making his father wobble in his seat. Oh god, this is mortifying. I cannot believe Billy just said that to Jacob in front of me. I wanted to shrink into nothingness. I turned colour and ran out the door yelling back, "Thanks for dessert Billy!" I couldn't stand to face either men right now. I heard him laughing from inside the house.
Jeez, was my affection for Jacob so obvious? You with think with a mind-reading father I wouldn't be so easy to see through.
Chapter 4: I SHOULD CRY MORE OFTEN IF IT GETS ME THIS KIND OF RESPONSE.
Chapter Text
———————————————————————
Songs:
Dreamcatcher, Alexandre Desplat
Blue Blue Moon, Hurricane Bells
———————————————————————
I knew I was dreaming, so why did it feel so real?
Everything felt distorted, familiar yet wrong. Shadows twist around me, blurred faces of the Volturi, shifting into unsettling shapes that vanished the moment I start to focus on them. I try to run but my legs feel like they are moving through waves of water. In the distance I hear an echoing of a scream. It sounds like my mother's. Terror builds, wrapping its ugly arms around me like a vice. I see Aro's face flashing in front of me, contorted and smiling.
I gasped myself awake feeling like I had barely escaped the unthinkable. The Volturi's presence lingered in the air, like a shadow, never fully there but sensed. My stomach tightened and the hairs prickled on the back of my neck. Any innocent movement outside my window felt loaded with menace. The tension originally humming under my skin now burned alive inside me. This particular nightmare had scared me to my core, to my soul, unlike the others. I felt the hysteria take over my body as I screamed. Tears spilled over my cheeks, hot and unrelenting, my breathing ragged as sobs shook my body.
I heard my bedroom door slam open but I couldn't see, not with the tears swelling in my eyes. I clutched my blankets holding them to my heart as an attempt to gain some comfort. But the hysteria didn't stop.
Then I felt warm, steady arms embrace me from behind, wrapping around me with gentle strength. They pulled me closer to their chest and I could feel the steady drumming of their heart grounding me, like an anchor in the storm. The hands rubbed soothing circles up and down my arms and a familiar scent of musky pine surrounded me. I heard a deep husky voice humming words of reassurance into my ear low and careful. Their lips so close to my ear it almost tickled and then the placing of their warm cheek against mine, while rocking me back and forth. I let out a shaky breath, feeling the fear slowly melt away as I leaned back into them - giving myself completely into their control. Sudden realisation hit me that this person, this safe harbour, was Jacob. I let the quiet rhythm of his heart calm my own. The closeness of his presence reminded me that I was not alone and that despair couldn't reach me here in his arms.
Once my breathing steadied and the tears stopped flowing, I rested my head on his shoulder sighing in relief.
"Shhhh," he purred into my ear as he gently stoked my hair. "It's okay. I'm here. They won't get you."
It wasn't me I was worried for. It was my family. Nonetheless, his words of comfort soothed me. He felt so warm.
I sniffled quietly before asking, my voice raspy from crying, "Please. Stay. I'm scared."
"Okay. I won't go anywhere."
My eyes closed, feeling heavy from exhaustion. I felt Jacob manoeuvre me back into bed, softly rolling me onto my side. The cool pillow a shock to my senses and I gasped, feeling the tightness in my heart return briefly.
Jacob wove his body around mine, hugging me tightly again to his bare chest. Our bodies moulded perfectly together becoming one entity. His hand coming to rest on top of mine. I squeezed my eyes and interlocked our fingers, relieved when he did not protest. I needed this closeness to save me from tipping over the edge again.
Jacob began to croon an unfamiliar song, lulling me to sleep. The melody was gentle, flowing like a river and washing my nightmare away. I sunk deeper into the bed and my breathing slowed to match the rhythm of the song. Slowly and peacefully I drifted to sleep, feeling safe and wrapped in the soft embrace of his lullaby.
When I awoke the next morning, I opened my eyes with a sense of clarity and lightness. The early morning sunshine splintered through the window casting a soft glow. The air felt crisp and refreshing.
I had woken up lying across Jacob's chest. As promised, he had stayed. There was a quiet thrill in the experience as I rose up and down in sync with his gentle snoring. A fluttery feeling stirred in my abdomen, anticipation at a high, as I glanced up at his peaceful expression. Still deep in his slumber, I couldn't find it within myself to move, afraid I would stir him awake. I traced light circles on his solid and sculpted chest, watching as goosebumps sprung wherever I touched him.
Jacob snorted in his sleep, muttering something unintelligible under his breath as he moved one of his wide hands to constrict me closer to him. The feeling of his hand that had found the small skin of my back, under my singlet, made me quiver. I yearned to be closer to him.
I could feel him beginning to wake. His eyelids fluttering slightly, drifting between sleep and consciousness. His features gradually coming to life. I felt wrong witnessing such a delicate and intimate moment. When his eyes finally opened completely there was a quiet vulnerability of confusion and warmth as we both gazed at each other. His expression so unguarded and tender.
Then the softness in his eyes sharpened as realisation dawned on him of our predicament. His brows knit together, his lips tightening and his jaw set as he pulled away from me. He shoved me lightly off of his chest, almost disgusted. His steely resolve and loss of contact unnerved me. But I had expected this reaction from him. My heart pulled towards him like gravity. As if I was the earth and him my sun, his presence essential for life.
Jacob sat up, yawning and rubbing his eyes. His long black hair falling gently onto his broad back. We sat next to one another now not touching but still in close proximity.
"What time is it?" he asked as another yawn took over.
"I think around six-thirty?" I murmured shyly.
Turning his head to look at me he asked, "Are you feeling okay? After last night."
I felt my face turn colour from guilt, "Yes. Thank you. So much. I don't know what came over me. Sorry if I bothered you."
"Don't be sorry. Didn't bother me at all. I know I seem hateful and grumpy but... well it still pains me to see anyone upset. I'm not a complete psycho."
"Yeah, I know. Thank you, again. For everything."
"If you don't mind me asking. Was the nightmare about... the... Vampire Royals? I forgot the name."
"Yes. The Volturi," I whispered. Jacob nodded his head.
"You know, even though I'm human right now, the boys and I would stop them if they found you here."
"The Volturi aren't like other vampires. They have gifts and an army. Hundreds of years old, hundreds of years of experience at slaughtering. Mom and Dad wouldn't put your family in danger like that if they didn't think they wouldn't find me here. I wasn't scared for me. I was scared for my family. I don't know where they are or what their plan is. I haven't heard from them in a week."
"Right. Well. If I know one thing about the Cullen's, it's that they're very persuasive. And good fighters too. Especially that blonde male leech."
"Uncle Jasper. Yeah. You guys fought together to save Mom from Victoria, right?"
"Yep. It was a great fight," he said triumphantly.
"Mom said you got hurt. Saving another wolf."
"Bella hasn't hidden any details from you. Yes, I did. Leah, the pack member I saved, is one of my best friends now. Though at the time we didn't get on at all. Funny how things change." He chortled. Yes, I remember Dad saying something too about the only female to ever have phased.
"Mom told me a lot. Did you love her? Bella.. I mean. By the way she spoke of you it kind of seemed..."
He sat thoughtfully for a moment before answering. "Yeah, I thought I did at the time. That went away pretty fast after she ... turned. I don't know. I was sixteen and we were best friends. Bella and I once told each other that if the world was normal and not full of monsters we would've been together. But the world is full of monsters. It's strange, like, after you were born, I felt as though gravity shifted, moved away from her to somewhere else. It suddenly felt wrong that I had ever felt that way about Bella at all. What about you, kid? Got anyone special?" I couldn't imagine my mother with anyone else except Dad and I detested thinking about her and Jacob together.
"No, no. Just little old me surrounded by a million couples."
"So what do you prefer, human or vampire guys?" He laughed softly.
"Hmmm. I want to say human but that would never work. Maybe I got that characteristic from my Dad. I like vampires too but they can be a little selfish as it is in their nature. Maybe I'd be better off with someone who fits in the middle. Like me. Although, do know any single werewolves who like half dead girls?"
Jacob grinned, "Dunno, I'll ask around for you."
"What about you?"
He raised his eyebrows, "I feel like the answer's obvious. Vampires are my natural enemy. And they stink." I giggled at his answer to cover up the pain.
"Do I stink?"
"Naw. Strangely. You smell good."
"You smell good to me, too. So just human girls on the menu for you then. Maybe you should broaden your horizons a bit. You never know until you try." Would he catch my hint?
"Ha-ha. Kissing a rock doesn't exactly sound very exciting."
"I don't feel like rock. Not totally," I defended.
"Yeah, but you don't really count. You're not a vampire."
"Not exactly, no." He was so averse to accepting that part of me was very much a vampire. I guess I have been concealing that characteristic of myself around him. But what if he didn't like me anymore if let up on my facade?
"So, what does the half dead girl feel like doing today?" he asked changing the subject.
I smiled brightly before grumbling, "I have school."
"Nah. Call in sick. Come with me to work. You can be my helper for the day. You know, to pay off all these babysitting bills."
I rolled my eyes and grinned at him. Jacob was a gift from the gods. I couldn't believe he wanted to spend the day with me even if it was out of pity for last night. "Cool! Although, you should touch up on your baby sitting skills. I would like more games and stuff to do."
"Sure, sure. I can do that." He smiled mischievously.
"And I'm not a kid."
"Whatever you say. Well, here's a game then for you Miss Adult. You can cook breakfast."
I laughed at him, "Sure, sure. I'd like to do that for you. But no complaining about my cooking." I decided that I would attempt to make Jacob breakfast every morning now as a kindness to him. It was the least I could do. And boy did he love his food.
"Oh hey, do you know anything about large sums of money being transferred into my account?"
"No. Probably it's Mom and Dad. I have a wad of cash if you'd prefer?"
Jacob grumbled annoyed and hopped out of bed saying, "When they call, and they will, tell them to stop will you? Say you're paying me in services instead."
My face stung a crimson red and I giggled reluctantly. "That might sound a little wrong don't you think? Their daughter cooped up with a beautiful werewolf, repaying him in services."
"Beautiful, huh?"
Did I call him beautiful out loud? "Uh, I mean. You are."
Jacob walked to the door, his face hidden from view. I felt anxious about what he might say to my unintended confession. Although, I'm sure he already knew I thought him to be attractive. So, surely it couldn't hurt that much for him to have it confirmed out loud, could it? He didn't seem interested in hybrids anyway.
"That's high praise coming from you. Get your mind out of the gutter, kid. Hurry up and get out of bed, I want my breakfast."
As Jacob left for his room to get changed for work I reeled over what he had said. He had given me two compliments. Success! Perhaps friendship was on the cards after all. I liked this version of Jacob too. More openly kind-hearted and honest, not brooding and shut off.
I prepared breakfast for us both in the kitchen. I decided on waffles. The sweet aroma filled the air as the golden batter sizzled and bubbled on the hot iron.
Jacob sat down on the high stool patting his stomach, his greedy eyes staring at his meal. I swear he almost started salivating.
"Damn, that smells so good. Thanks. Kinda wish I'd asked you to do this from the get go. I need to get better at manipulation," he joked.
"You're welcome," I said while plating up three waffles for his breakfast. Jacob impatiently grabbed the plate and veraciously began eating.
"Have you ever heard of this thing called swallowing?" I asked sarcastically, a smile playing at the edge of my lips. I enjoyed how much he was enjoying himself.
His mouth still full he replied anyway, "But it's so good I don't need to worry about savouring it. So, Renesmee..." That was the first time he had used my name the whole time I had been here. I looked at him shocked. "That's one hell of a mouthful for a name."
"Yeah, you can thank Mom for that. At least it's unique. A combo of both my grandmas names."
"How 'bout I call you Nessie for short?"
"Like the Loch Ness Monster? What are you trying to insinuate?"
"Nothing, I like the nickname. It's stuck now. Nessie." He smiled playfully at me.
I rolled my eyes chuckling, "Fine, whatever you want. I guess Nessie isn't such a bad nickname. Rolls of the tongue."
"Told you so."
"Shut up and eat your food."
"Can't, I already finished." Where did the food even go, I thought humorously.
Jacob drove us to his work located on the outskirts of Forks, called Eagle Auto. The mechanic shop was a blend of utility and grit, with an air of organised chaos. Tools of all kinds hung neatly on pegboards or scattered across workbenches. The concrete floor was stained with years of use. In the centre, cars sat on lifts or rested with their hoods propped open to reveal intricate networks of wires and components. The overhead lights casted an industrial glow and a haze softened by dust floating in the air. Despite the mess, there was an underlying hum of precision and problem solving.
Jacob had tasked me with the job of receptionist as it would only be him and a man called Embry working today. Embry used to be a werewolf too. Apparently, the owner was not one to make face often and mostly left the running of the shop to Jake.
Embry appeared from the shadows of the back office - he had a thin sharp face with a lean and athletic body. With a shy smile and expressive eyes he approached us.
"Embry, Nessie here is gonna help us out today with front of house work," Jacob stated nonchalantly.
"Cool, man. Hey, Nessie nice to meet you. I'm Embry Call," he said politely as he wiped his hands with a grease stained rag.
"Nice to meet you too Embry. It's Renesmee actually."
"Oh, my bad. I'll show you how to work the register if you'd like? We've got a pretty relaxed day so shouldn't be too overwhelming for you."
"Thanks, I'm happy to help," I said eagerly.
"So, like, sometimes we get hurt around here by the way. Like scratches and cuts and stuff. That's not gonna be a problem is it?" His eyes flickered to Jacob with worry.
"No, no. Not at all." I flashed a smile at him hoping to ease his mind. His body relaxed at my answer.
"Cool. Alrighty, follow me."
Embry showed me the ropes and procedures to follow for the day and we all fell into an easy routine. There was a good balance of productivity and camaraderie shared by the two overgrown men. They seemed to be linked in a sense much deeper than friendship. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Even when there was silence there was a connection as if they didn't need to speak to understand what they needed from each other to tackle a task. They were so synchronised.
I enjoyed watching Jacob work maybe a little too much. His dedication and skill to his craft was captivating. His hands - seemingly too large for the delicate tasks he undertook - moved capably and confidently. His muscles would flex and shift beneath his skin, his veins more pronounced as he worked, emphasising his physique. His eyes would light up when he found a resolution to a problem and his jaw would set when he was deep in thought. His smile of satisfaction or the way he wiped his hands felt so endearing and I could feel a blooming warmth grow in my chest, a mix of pride and tenderness.
At the end of the day Embry congratulated me on my outstanding work at customer service. I decided I really enjoyed Embry's company too. Not in the same way as Jake's of course. He was shy and thoughtful but still incredibly quick witted. I learned that Embry was married. He and his wife, Dakota, were expecting their first child together soon in just a matter of months. We had all exchanged stories and shared interests throughout the day and I felt the mutual understanding that there was a spark of friendship beginning. Laughter was easy here.
As we packed up Embry stated, "I almost feel bad taking her good work for free, Jake."
"How do you guys work so well together. I know your friends but it's like you can read each other's minds," I queried.
Jacob chuckled answering, "When we were wolves we could all hear one another's thoughts. Pack mind. Extremely annoying but you get to know each other a little too well."
"Ohhh. That's kind of awesome!" Both men rolled their eyes at me.
"Tell you what though, some of those old guys were being a bit too creepy for my liking towards you, Nes- I mean Renesmee," Embry chimed in. I guess there was no escaping the new nickname Jacob had given me.
"Don't worry it happens all the time. And I don't mind working for free. It's the least I can do considering. Besides, it was actually a lot of fun," I replied.
"Hey maybe that could've been your vampire gift in alternate universe. Persuasion or shocking of the senses," he poked fun.
I laughed, embarrassed.
"I was always a bit jealous of vampires being able to have gifts but I guess it depended on what you got. Don't wanna dud one," Embry chortled.
Jacob joked, "My gift would've been making food appear from nothing."
"Mine would've been invisibility. I mean come on, that's gotta be the best superpower."
"No way, flying is."
"Okay, superman," Embry replied condescendingly.
The men continued to banter back and forth discussing what the best gift to have would be. I stayed quiet, anxious to be caught in my little white lie. Well, I didn't lie. I just concealed the truth?
"What would you have? For a power?" Jacob asked me innocently. I tucked a curl behind my ear, my face changing colour.
"Oh, ummm. I don't know." I looked away from his face. I seriously am the world's worst liar, I chastised myself.
Jacob walked up to me slowly, his arms crossed over his chest, his brow arching in suspicion.
"You don't have a power, right?" he demanded. His tone and presence now deep and resonant, asserting control.
I felt as though the floor had dropped out beneath me, my heart pounding. There was an instant rush of panic and adrenaline as I looked up at Jacob. My mind was racing as I scrambled for an explanation or excuse. I knew he knew now that I had lied and I had no choice but to face the consequence head on.
Gulping, I whispered hesitantly," Yes. I have a gift."
Embry grabbed Jacob's arm, trying to yank him away from me, to gain distance. To protect him from me. But he didn't budge. Jacob's furious eyes bore into mine. He wasn't scared however. I could feel the tension in the room growing, no heating. I felt as though I had been thrown into an oven and the temperature kept on rising.
Before their rage could reach its peak I rushed to explain myself, "I didn't say anything because I didn't want to freak you out! I didn't want to seem even more like a freak. My power isn't like a weapon or anything like that. Honestly, my gift is kind of stupid. It poses no danger. I promise!"
"What is it then?" Jacob snarled through his teeth. Embry, clearly on edge as well, had backed away from us both, inching towards the phone. Perhaps he thought to call for back up.
"It's easier if I just show you," I said softly as I reached a hand up towards Jacob's face. He flinched at first before accepting my hand. My fingers brushed against his warm cheek, feeling the subtle contours of his cheekbone. If it weren't for the situation or Jake's angry eyes, this would've felt profoundly intimate and romantic.
I used my power and showed him, himself. The first time I saw him, his laugh, his face, the dessert we shared at Billy's, his hands, his loud eating, the feeling of his embrace, his home and finally I emoted powerfully just how thankful I was for him.
I almost had to will myself to pull my hand away from him, from our touch. I looked at him expectantly, waiting. His eyes widened, his pupils dilated and he stared at me with a startled intensity. He looked frozen for a moment before a small smile appeared upon his face. He turned towards Embry whose hand was placed firmly on the phone, awaiting for Jacob's signal, and said calmly reassuring his friend, "It's okay. She's not dangerous."
"Told you so," I said just as Jacob had this morning at breakfast.
"That's a neat party trick you got there, kid. You wanna have a go, Embry?"
"Uhhh. Do I have to?" he said puzzled.
I giggled and reached my hand out to him. Hesitating, Embry came over to me still shaking like a leaf. I placed my hand to his face and used my power to explain instead of with words. He gave me the same look Jacob had.
"So, it's like the opposite of Edward's gift then?" Embry asked.
"Yes, precisely. And similar to Mom's in that no one can keep me out - no one can stop my power."
"Bella has a gift?"
"Oh, yes. She's a shield. She can deflect powers. Dad still can't read her mind which bugs him to no end. She can protect people from other vampires powers too."
"That's awesome! Woah. Hey, you should definitely use your power at the bonfire coming up. We can scare Paul," Embry nudged Jacobs arm jokingly.
"Excellent idea!" Jacob exclaimed, his eyes big with anticipation and excitement. Both of them had accepted my gift as no more than a little quirk of mine.
"Who's Paul?" I asked.
"You'll find out this weekend. Unfortunately," Jacob replied sourly.
"Will Quil be there? You haven't mentioned him in a bit."
Embry chuckled and Jacob replied, "Yeah, he's been a bit distracted, if you will."
"With what?"
"A girl of course."
"Thats sweet! Do you think she could be the one for him?"
"She is the one for him," Jacob grumbled. Strange, was he jealous of him? He seemed mildly upset at my questions regarding Quil.
"How long have they been seeing each other?"
"Two weeks, I think."
"Huh? How can you all be sure she's the one then?"
"It's a wolf thing." Both men laughed lightly. "Quil imprinted. It's like love at first sight but much more concrete than that. It's how some of us find our mates - I mean soulmates. Claire is Quil's imprint."
"Have you guys imprinted?" I squeaked out hoping neither of them would pick up on my anxiety. I vehemently hoped Jacob hadn't imprinted.
"Nah. Trust me, you would know if we had. Embry and I prefer to fall in love the old fashion way. Regardless, we can't imprint since we're human right now." Relieved, I just nodded. Wow. Love at first sight.
After the store was shut we all high-fived and parted ways from Embry. Jacob drove us home, we laughed and bickered the whole way. I was mildly peeved it has taken us nearly two months to get to this place of friendship but extremely grateful nonetheless.
When we got to the steps of his patio, Jacob was whistling an unfamiliar tune and asked if I'd like to watch a movie with our dinner tonight. And so it dawned on me then, in this very insignificant moment, that I might be completely and unconditionally falling in love with Jacob Black.
There were a few issues with this. Firstly, the whole thing with Mom. While very much in the past, it still made me squirm uncomfortably thinking about it. Was it immoral to want to be with your mother's previous lover and vice versa? Secondly, Jacob is human and I am not. I will outlive him and his fore-bearers. I couldn't just watch him slowly succumb to his mortality over the years as I remained the same as I am. As Jake had said, that kind of fate would be unfair to both parties. Thirdly, if Jacob were to phase, he could imprint. On someone else. And leave me.
Lastly, he couldn't or wouldn't love me back anyway.
Chapter 5: IT’S BONFIRE TIME, BABY.
Chapter Text
———————————————————————
Songs:
Welcome, Phil Collins
Memory Time, Nick Cave & Warren Ellis
———————————————————————
How does one dress to impress a certain werewolf?
That had been my main focus of the week with the impending bonfire party coming up. I had limited clothing as I had packed only the essentials for staying here.
Today was the day and I decided on dark blue low rise jeans showing my midriff and a tight black crop top. I topped it off with a black leather jacket and some silver hooped earrings. I even applied some mascara and plucked my eyebrows - not that I needed to.
Grandpa Charlie had come down with the flu and wouldn't be attending with me. Sue was staying home to care for him.
I felt restless as I fidgeted impatiently preparing myself for the party. I was so nervous, caught between feelings of anticipation and unease. I kept wondering how the night might unfold surrounded by Jacob's family and friends. And werewolves. Thoughts swirled in my head. Will they all hate me? What will Jacob think? Will I fit in? What if it's awkward? Will Jacob think I'm pretty tonight? Are they going to make fun of me for being different? I silently wished that once I was there everything would fall into place naturally.
"Hurry up, Nessie. Time to go!" Jacob shouted from the lounge room. I took a deep breath in. Confidence is key, I reminded myself.
I walked out to meet Jacob. He was sitting on the edge of the sofa staring at his phone. Jake lifted his head to look at me. His expression subtly changed - a flicker of surprise in his eyes. His posture shifted, straightened out, his focus locked entirely on me.
"You look nice," he said softly. My heart fluttered.
"Thanks, so do you," I said tucking my hair behind my ear. I willed myself to not blush.
I took in his appearance, too. He was wearing his signature faded blue jeans, with beat up black sneakers and a grey high neck wife beater that hugged his torso deliciously. His broad shoulders, bulky arms and chiseled chest created a powerful silhouette. Jacob's posture was naturally commanding and radiated self assurance without arrogance. His skin taut and smooth with a brilliant russet glow accentuating his beauty. His face, still, his most striking feature. I would never tire of staring into his deep brown eyes or seeing his charming smile.
"Ready to go?" he asked.
"I guess so."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm just really nervous."
"What about?"
"About everything. What are they gonna think of me? Will they like me?"
"Who cares what they think, doesn't matter. Course they'll like you. Quil likes you, Embry likes you, my Dad likes you. Hell, you got me to like you."
"Thanks. I guess so. I haven't quite got your level self confidence though."
"Fake it till you make it," he smiled reassuringly at me.
"I look okay right? You weren't just saying that? I wasn't sure what to wear."
He rolled his eyes," Yes, you look great. You always look great." He thought I always looked great?
"Thank you. I thank my vampire genes for that one," I beamed at him. He frowned slightly at my response.
"Come on Nessie, don't let a bunch of werewolves and some old cronies get in the way of your confidence."
"You're right. I am a strong independent woman," I said placing one hand on my heart and the other in the air like a girls scout.
He laughed," Perfect, now let's go already."
We drove to a secure and hidden setting, a six minute walk into the forest across from La Push beach. I could see the golden flames of the bonfire casting a glow and creating flickering shadows on the surrounding trees. The fire crackled in the centre. People gathered around it, their faces illuminated, laughing and conversing to one another. Some sat on logs and others in fold out chairs, wrapped in blankets for warmth. The smell of burning wood mingled with the crisp earthy scent of the forest that created a cozy and almost magical atmosphere. The stars peaked through the rustling leaves of the trees. I could feel the carefree joy and comfort practically radiating from the party.
Here we go, I thought.
I looked to Jacob anxiously as we approached closer. Part of me wanted to reach out to hold his hand. He didn't seem to notice, a large grin already present on his face as he greeted his friends.
About ten people called out to Jacob to say hello before returning to their conversations. Embry was first to meet us.
"What's up Jake, hey Nessie!" Embry said as he hugged Jacob and, to my surprise, bent down to embrace me as well.
"Hey, Embry," Jake and I said in unison. We laughed and I was eternally grateful for the dark sky that hid my blush from view.
"Nessie, this is my wife Dakota," he exclaimed as a very pregnant woman waddled over to us.
"Hello. Nice to meet you Nessie. Sorry, I have to excuse myself to go pee. Baby boy is jamming his foot into my bladder," she joked. Dakota was a beautiful woman for a human. She had dark skin, hazel eyes, voluminous lips and a short black bob haircut that sharpened her jawline. She was so short it confused me as to how she could even fit a baby inside her tiny frame.
Quil and another man, obviously a used-to-be-werewolf, came up to us next after Embry and Dakota headed off into the darkness.
"Renesmee, glad you made it!" Quil said punching my arm lightly, then turning to Jake, "Hey Jakey-poo." Jacob pinched Quils side making him squeal and chortle.
"Thanks, Quil. Long time no see," I said.
"Yeah, sorry. Claire and I have been busy," he said wagging his eyebrows at me. Ew.
"Lucky you," I jested. The men chuckled.
The other man spoke," Yeah, poor Claire has to spend every waking hour with you." He
pretended to throw up from disgust and I giggled at him. "I'm Jared, nice to meet you," he added after taking notice of me.
"Hi Jared, I'm Renesmee. Or Nessie for short."
"So you're the little loch ness monster," he said playfully.
"The very one."
"Welcome to our chaotic family."
"Thank you, I feel very blessed."
Quil and Jared quickly returned to their girlfriends. Jacob whispered to me that both of them had imprinted and we wouldn't get much of their attention with their significant others around.
"Sam," Jacob suddenly exclaimed. An older man, perhaps in his early thirties appeared and patted Jake on the back. They were almost the same height and he exuded a similar kind of majesty to Jacob. He ignored me while chatting lowly to Jacob.
Then, another stunning Native American woman emerged, from behind Sam, but her face was disfigured by long deep scaring on the left side. The scars had sunken into the flesh and were a stark contrast to her surrounding skin. But it didn't take away from her beauty. They seemed to be both a mark and testament to her strength. I tried not to stare.
"So this is the half-vampire girl," she said. Sam protectively wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "I'm Emily, Sam's wife."
"So you're the human girl. Lovely to meet you. And you too, Sam," I replied politely. Emily giggled, happy with my response. Sam just nodded to me with a straight face, obviously displeased with my attendance to the party. His eyes weary and full of indignation.
"Don't worry about him. He's just a grumpy old man, aren't you?" she joked, pushing her body into his side. "Please, come sit. It's warmer over here," she gestured for me to follow.
Emily and I left the two gigantic men to their own and sat on a piece of old drift wood near the fire. I wasn't cold but I didn't tell her that.
Emily was incredibly funny and even more kindhearted. I liked her very much and hoped we could become friends. We spoke on mostly superficial subjects. She told me of her two children and how she was Sam's imprint. So many imprints, I thought perplexed. I felt thankful for her for making such an effort towards an outsider like myself. Especially when her husband did not take a liking to me.
"Don't stress yourself over Sam. He's just protective. Like Jacob. It must be some freaky alpha gene," she whispered to me. Oh, so Sam was the other alpha in the stories. The one who wanted to murder me. I shivered from fear as I glanced back over to him.
Like clockwork yet another ex-wolf came by to sit next to Emily and I. Just how many were there? He introduced himself cheerfully as Seth Clearwater. He was the embodiment of optimism and youthful energy topped with an innocent charm. I picked up on his unwavering loyalty to Jacob very quickly as he eagerly spoke of his time in the Black wolf-pack. It was hard to sometimes follow what he was saying, his excitement could barely be contained.
"I actually really like the Cullen's. And your Dad, we helped defeat Victoria together! He was great! You know when you were born we, Jake and Leah and I, stopped the fight. You were such a tiny baby but the rest thought you'd come out and start a massacre. But you didn't. And then Jake well, you know, he told Sam and then Sam saw you too. So, we all had to accept that you were just an innocent. Boy, did that rub Sam the wrong way but then the Cullen's moved away pretty quickly and then there was nothing they could do. Anyway, I'm glad you're here Nessie, it's nice to officially meet you!"
Completely bewildered by his rant I laughed gratefully. Finally, a werewolf that actually liked my family. Still, after hearing how much the others felt compelled to dispose of me, anxiety crept its way into my chest. "Thank you, Seth. So nice to meet you finally too. You're very sweet, I was lucky to have you then. My Dad spoke of you often, he likes you very much."
Seth was overjoyed by my compliments and continued talking again but my mind wandered elsewhere, only half listening to him. A faded memory came to the forefront. Auntie Rose was dangling something sparkly in front of my face the day of my birth. I try to catch it with my hands. I hear a deep gruff voice say from behind Auntie, "It really is just a baby?" It was Jacob's voice!
Abruptly, with my superior hearing, I could hear two younger men arguing. I looked across the bonfire to see their stances tense, their fists strained and shoulders squared off. Their voices at first low and threatening became loud with anger. Suddenly, their bodies began to vibrate, as if they were unable to control their form. The air shifted and became thick with an electric charge. Their voices turned into deep primal growls. The trembling became so uncontrollable for both of them that they blurred. I heard someone yell "Watch out!"
If I had blinked I would have missed their transformation into two giant wolves. It was raw and violent as they phased, bursting into new forms, the sound of clothes tearing to shreds echoing. The most horrible and deafening noise of their ferocious snarls and snapping of their jaws was overwhelmingly terrifying.
Fear surged instantly through me like a lightning strike.
At vampire speed I raced over to Jacob with a gasp, hiding behind him and clinging desperately to his waist. I held onto him so tightly I was sure to leave bruises. My brain, clouded by shear terror, had concluded that the werewolves must be coming for me again.
Emily began laughing, holding a hand over her mouth. She must have picked up on the why for my sudden reaction and said, "They're not after you, hun. The boys are just having a little bicker. They'll sort it out soon."
I could hear now that the tumbling and growling of the fight had moved into the woods away from the gathering.
"Oh, right."
If it weren't for Sam's presence and Seth's little story I might've prevailed. Seeing werewolves in action, unlike when I witnessed Quil phase, was a completely different experience. I understood now why vampires were petrified of them. Dad was right, they could be very dangerous and hot tempered.
"You can let go of me now," Jacob said looking down at me in amusement. I hadn't realised I still had my arms wrapped around him.
I chuckled nervously at him while slowly pulling away, "Sorry."
"Ouch. You got one hell of a firm grip you know."
"Jeez, I'm so sorry. I feel like such a schmuck." Everyone seemed to be laughing at my expense around the bonfire. How embarrassing.
Quil yelled at me from a small distance away, "Tell him you'll kiss it better!"
Jacob grabbed a pebble off the ground and pegged it at him but Quil dodged out of the way with ease. His laughter resonating over the crowd.
Sam grumbled something unintelligible under his breath staring daggers into the ground.
"Give it a rest Sam. She wasn't a threat then and she's not now. We've already discussed this. I mean look at her for Christ's sake. She ran away from the guys as well, not to them. Most importantly, no one's been hurt and one else has phased since she's been here," Jacob huffed, defending me again.
"She shouldn't be here anyway. Of course you have bring the vampire," Sam bit at him.
"She's not a vampire. And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You know what I mean."
"Well, you can go right ahead and choke on my big fat co-"
I watched the resolve sparkle in Sam's eyes as he moved closer to Jacob as though he might try to maim him. His shoulders rolled back, his chest expanded, his fists clenched causing his knuckles to whiten. Before Jake finished his sentence and Sam could get any closer, I put myself between the two gigantic men. My body a barrier to protect Jacob from Sam's approach.
"Leave. Him. Alone. If you have a problem with me, leave Jake out of it. Talk to me," I hissed.
Sam looked at me in astonishment. A mix of emotions swirled beneath the pool of his black eyes - disbelief, confusion and respect. He took a step back.
"Sam," Emily called out demanding. Automatically, as if he had no choice, Sam turned and headed over to Emily.
I looked up behind me to Jacob. His expression serious and concerned as his eyes followed Sam. Feeling my stare he glanced down and forced a smile at me.
He tussled my hair and said," Forget about Sam. Emily will sort him out. And, er- thanks, I guess."
Jacob sighed heavily as we both walked over to Quil, Embry and Seth on the other side of the bonfire.
Finally, the party settled back into a warm, easy rhythm. Whatever previous mishaps or tensions that had arisen earlier had been forgotten completely. Replaced by rippling laughter through the group and the comfort of being in good company. A few people sat close to the fire and began roasting marshmallows, the scent of woodsmoke and sweet sugar wrapping around everyone like a cocoon. I enjoyed the rest of Jacob's friends and family's immensely. I felt at home and very peaceful. I even sat with Billy for half an hour pestering him with questions about the wolves and his family. Quil and Jared were the funniest, Kim - Jared's imprint - the shyest, Claire the coolest, Dakota the smartest, Embry the most thoughtful and Seth the kindest. And Jacob was, well, he was all of those things and more.
Embry began moaning to Jake about how disappointed he was that Paul couldn't make it tonight. He really wanted me to use my gift to freak him out. Both men appeared to feel like they had missed out on a good show.
"So, who's Paul?" I asked Jacob gently. He was toasting his fifth marshmallow for the night.
"Paul is my brother in law," he grumbled. I vaguely remembered a man from the photos Billy showed me during dinner one night who was always next to Jacob's sister Rachel.
"Oh, he's not nice?"
"Nah, he's fine I guess. He was a real pain in my ass when we were wolves. I liked him even less than Leah at the time," Jacob chuckled. Why did he not like Leah back then? "And he just had to go an imprint on my sister. Sheesh. Out of all the werewolves Dad and I got stuck with Paul. Oh well, he's good to Rach and now that he's human he's not the worst person I've ever met."
"Right. How come they're not here?"
"Oh. Rachel doesn't really like coming back here."
"Cause of the vampires and werewolves?"
"Naw. After my Mom died my sisters took off pretty quickly. It's still hard for them to be here."
"I'm so sorry, Jacob."
"S'okay. Happened so long ago now. Plus, I got my Dad and lots of family and friends here."
I nodded understandingly. I missed my family terribly now. But these people would make a fabulous alternative, I decided happily.
Quil interjected, afraid to not be the centre of attention," Yo, Nessie. What's your top speed?"
"Running? I don't know, I've never measured myself before. Twenty bucks says I can outrun you."
The whole group "oohed" at my challenge while laughing.
"You are so on! Everyone place your bets," Quil announced standing up with both his arms in the air like he'd won a wrestling match.
It was an even split of bets and Jacob was the last one to place his money.
"Don't let me down, kid," he smiled at me slamming the twenty dollars down on my name. I gleamed back at him and crossed my heart. He crossed his in return.
Quil and I set ourselves up for the race against the edge of the forest. The boys had given us a rough map of where we needed to go and then to return here at the starting mark.
Quil and I were crouched down gearing up for the challenge ahead. Anticipation and focus was at an all time high. My heart thumped steadily and I took a long drawn in breath of cool air to calm the nervous excitement bubbling beneath the surface. Quil glanced over at me with a smug smile and winked. My eyes narrowed at him jokingly and I locked onto the forest in front of us. The chatter of the others became background noise and all that mattered to me in this moment was beating Quil. I was a glutton for a good challenge. However, I wasn't stupid and knew very well that I wouldn't be as fast as a werewolf. I couldn't outrun a vampire either. But no one had said anything about any rules, I thought slyly.
Dakota began the count down. Our muscles coiled and tightened. Two seconds before Dakota signaled for us to run, I placed my hand onto Quils forearm using my power. I showed him me winning the race and emoted a sense of shock to him.
"Go!!"
I had completely unbalanced and thrown him off focus as he stumbled backwards slightly. "What the hell just happened?" he yelled confused.
I had an enormous head start as Quil fumbled behind me.
My start was electric and my body surged forward with an explosive energy. My feet pounded against the ground steadily and gracefully, the world around me reduced to the sound of my breathing and beat of my pulse. The final stretch a real testament to my willpower, every ounce of my strength and speed summoned for the last burst of effort.
I crossed the finish line laughing. Victory!
Cheers erupted and relief and exhilaration flooded through me. Everyone that had bet on my winning came up to congratulate me while patting me affectionately on my back. Quil, only three seconds behind me, huffed in annoyance at his loss.
"Look, I don't know how, but she definitely cheated," he said pointing a finger at me. I stuck my tongue out at him and he chuckled along with everyone else. He was a good sport.
"No one said we couldn't fight dirty," I mumbled still reeling over my win. Jacob and Embry were laughing the hardest, bent over in tears. They knew exactly how I had managed to startle Quil. At least they got their show after all.
"Nice going, kid! Woohoo!" Jacob cheered coming over to me waving a fan of money to his face. We high-fived and I had to stretch onto my tippy toes to reach his hand. "Here you go," he said handing me half of his earnings.
"Nah, you keep it."
"No way. You earned it." He placed the bills of money roughly into my pocket.
I walked over to Quil and handed him the cash instead. "Here, since I cheated you can have it."
"Really? Thanks! I knew you cheated," he smiled warmly at me. I was glad he didn't seem at all bothered by losing to the half-vampire girl.
After the race, the night deepened, the energy mellowed, stories turned softer and laughter eased into smiles. Above me the stars glimmered like jewels scattered across the sky. The bonfires flames no longer powerful and hot were just wisps of light and melting wood.
I yawned big and my eyelids strained to be kept open. I went over to sit next to Billy and rested my head against the side of his wheelchair. I'll just close my eyes for a second, I assured myself.
When I awoke, it was in the arms of Jacob. He was carrying me to the car, his large arms constricted around me and I could hear his heavy heartbeat against my ear. His impossibly wide steps rocked me against his chest. Comfortable would be an understatement. But I felt displeased I had fallen asleep and missed the rest of the party. Jacob placed me gently into the passenger side and started the car. I yawned again.
"Hey, sleepyhead."
"Hi. Damn, I can't believe I fell asleep." I folded my arms across my chest.
"Nah, you didn't miss much. Although, I did manage to fit twenty marshmallows in my mouth at once. It was super hot."
I giggled at him. "Sounds it."
"You can go back to sleep if you want."
"No, I wanna stay up with you."
"Sure, sure."
"Thank you for letting me come to the party. It was so much fun. Everyone is just amazing. I'm very jealous actually."
"Yeah, they are pretty cool. When behaving anyway. Sorry about Sam. He'll get over it."
"That's okay. It's strange thinking how a lot the guys used to want to kill me. And now they're kind of protecting me. Still, I would like to be their friend."
Jacob hummed before answering, "They all really liked you. People are scared of the unknown I guess. So was I. The Cullen's are a bit of an oddity too. Our tribe isn't used to nice bloodsuckers."
"Yeah, I know."
I don't know where the confidence came from, perhaps it was the reminisce of euphoria from how much I had enjoyed the night, that I leaned myself into Jacob's side. He cringed slightly from my sudden physical touch towards him. That brought me up short. I moved back into my seat quickly, peering out the window to hide the pain of his rejection. "Sorry," I mumbled quietly.
"S'okay. You just startled me is all."
"Yeah. Don't wanna get too close to the half-breed," I attempted to joke but it came out more of a twisted whisper.
"That's not what I said."
"Okay." I didn't want to argue with him. I didn't want to make him more uncomfortable, not when we were starting to get close - as friends. But I wanted to be much more than friends.
"Kid. I-" He didn't finish his sentence. The rest of the drive was silent and I could hear him chewing the inside of his cheek with his hands clenched aggressively around the wheel.
We arrived home and just before I could race inside and lock myself in my room Jacob said,"Now hold on just a minute."
I sunk back into the seat still staring out the window to the front door. He sounded like a concerned father. What he said next shocked me.
"I'm scared."
Ridiculous, we've been over this so many times. I'm not dangerous. I huffed at him annoyed.
He continued, "I'm not scared of you, dummy. I'm scared of what it means if we become friends. I like you. A lot. You gotta lot of gusto. Look, my whole life I was told scary stories about the cold ones - vampires. Our mortal enemy. We exist to kill them. Finding out that not all vampires are complete monsters was terrifying and confusing for a sixteen year old boy. And now, as a man, it's even more confounding to want to be friends with half a one. Bridging the gap, after centuries of war, is, well... it's just scary, okay. And I'm sorry that it's hurting you. I know it's unfair. It's all just a lot to wrap my big head around."
I was utterly dumbfounded. So, he did really like me and he did want to be my friend. But he was right. We would bridge the gap between werewolves and vampires with our flowering friendship. A complete anomaly in the history of time itself. That's why he had been pushing so hard against me.
"I understand. Thank you. I really like you too." My mind was spinning and I couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Yeah and about that... you know that can never happen right. But I do want to be your friend. You are my friend." Oh, he meant my crush on him. Although, it was so much more than that now. Fate's a funny thing. My Mom rejects Jacob and now Jacob rejects her daughter.
I pursed my lips and looked into his deep brown eyes full of sorrow and hope, "Why not?" I already knew the answer. It was more of a list actually than just one reason.
He rolled his eyes and smiled warmly, "You're much smarter than me. I'm sure you've already figured out the reasons why."
"I want to hear you say it." I needed to hear him say that he didn't feel that way about me. Because I had decided that it didn't matter if we were different species or that he might imprint on someone. That wasn't going to change what I wanted or how I felt. But his answer might.
He frowned looking down. The darkness of the inside of the car engulfed us. I could hear the rain splashing against the roof of the car, thrumming. Time perceived to slow and the silence from him pressed down forcefully on my chest. Both of us lingering on the edge of uncertainty.
He shook his head slowly. He wasn't going to answer.
I placed my hand to his warm cheek and he didn't flinch this time. Using my power I thanked him for a beautiful night of meeting his friends and family. And I told him that being friends sounded just perfect to me.
I let him go, jumped out of the car into the rain and ran to my room.
Silent tears fell, unheard and unseen. A gentle stream, carrying the fragments of a broken dream.
Chapter 6: WHAT DO YOU CALL TAKING A SHOWER WITH A VAMPIRE? A BLOODBATH.
Chapter Text
————————————————————————
Songs:
Here With Me, Dido
The Antidote, St. Vincent
————————————————————————
For the rest of the week I sunk into a depression.
The emptiness grew, hollow and consuming, as I spiraled into despair. I felt as though I was stuck in quick sand, every move to escape forced me deeper downwards. Time stretched endlessly as I fought the silent battle. I followed a simple routine - school, homework, sleep.
Jacob let me feel my out my emotions on my own. An act of quiet empathy and patience. He didn't push to fix or explain but offered me a safe space to untangle my feelings. Every morning he left me a glass of water and fresh wild flowers from the garden on my bedside table. For a moment his gestures almost made it worse.
One day, I had come home from school and there was a keyboard in the corner of the lounge room. This surprised me. I gently ran my fingertips over the keys and smiled.
I felt something stir deep within - a flicker of possibility.
Survival and determination ran in my family. I wasn't going to let that trait skip a generation. Why shouldn't I let myself fall in love? Why would it matter who or what they were? So what if Jacob wasn't falling in love with me too. I'm not forcing him to. And this couldn't hurt him anyway, the consequences fell on me. I decided that all I needed was to be close to him. And that would be enough for me. I could survive with that. Desperate times, desperate measures. I would just let myself feel.
Jacob arrived home kicking his boots off and throwing his bag onto the kitchen table.
"Hey kid," he said warily.
"Hey Jake. What's with the new addition?" I asked pointing to the keyboard.
"I heard you say to Emily that you played piano. Unfortunately, I don't have the kind of money to get you a Steinway but I saw this little guy and thought it'd be nice. Maybe you can give me lessons," he chuckled.
I smiled brightly at him and this seemed to please him. "You don't have to buy me gifts to make me happy you know. I'm not a very materialistic person. But this is very sweet, thank you."
Jacob shrugged," Thought it'd be nice to have something to remind you of home."
I nodded thoughtfully. This was my home now. I hadn't heard from my family in weeks.
"Well, your lesson starts in an hour so prepare yourself."
"Yes ma'am," he grinned while saluting me.
Giggling, I went and got changed into my pajamas. Jacob's happiness intertwined with my own and I wouldn't let my depression interfere with our newfound friendship any longer. He was a true friend now. But it couldn't hurt to push the boundaries just a smidge, I thought mischievously.
I put on a matching red set that was incredibly too short, showing off my long porcelain legs and décolletage. I brushed my hair and put on some strawberry flavoured lip balm. I never wore these kind of outfits at home with Jacob around, too embarrassed or nervous.
I could hear Jacob whistling to himself and rummaging through the fridge looking for something to sink his teeth into.
I walked out confidently towards the kitchen. You're a strong independent woman, I chanted in my head.
He was midway through chugging a whole gallon of orange juice when he looked at me, his eyes raking down my body. I must of surprised him as his composure wavered. A small trickle of the drink slipped from the corner of his mouth. Startled, he quickly wiped his chin with the back of his hand.
I giggled.
Trying to recover from his awkward moment, that I was enjoying very much, I could see a slight tinge of a red flush under his dark cheeks.
I had never seen him change colour. How did he make blushing look so beautiful?
He gulped audibly and I asked, my eyebrows raised, "You okay?"
"Uh, yep. Thirsty."
"Sure, sure. Let's go, you're late for your lesson," I said in a commanding tone as I turned around. A big cheeky grin now plastered on my face.
"I can hear you smiling from over there, Nessie," he said accusingly.
"Why would I be smiling Jacob?" I questioned as I bent down to plug the keyboard into the power socket.
I heard Jacob's heart rate accelerating. I turned my head around to glance back at him briefly and just as I had hoped, his eyes were glued to my behind peaking out from my shorts. His lips were parted, pupils dilated, brows slightly lifted in shock and admiration. He glanced away quickly noticing I had caught him the act. I turned back around, biting my lip to stop myself from laughing. He was a human man after all.
I chastised him playfully, "Hey, friends don't look at each others butts. Stop being a pervert and get over here."
I am a strong independent woman, I kept chanting to myself. I focused on my breathing so he wouldn't notice my heart beating at an exceedingly fast tempo.
"Sure, sure. Well, friends don't exactly wear lingerie around each other either," he said low and deep. I felt him coming up behind me to sit next to me on the small piano chair. The space between us felt charged and alive with an unspoken connection.
"Says the guy who walks around shirtless," I replied defensively.
"I run a toasty one-oh-nine degrees. Shoot me for not wanting to get sweaty."
"And I run at a toasty one-oh-six degrees," I said defiantly while placing the back of my hand against his forearm as proof. We felt almost the same temperature, him slightly warmer than me. I wanted to leave my hand there and it felt heavy as I forced myself to draw back from him.
He clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth and said," Fair enough. Sorry about before. For staring." Most people would've looked away embarrassed but he kept his eyes on me confidently. It was me who looked down, my cheeks ablaze.
"I don't mind."
"So, what am I learning today Miss Cullen," he joked, changing the subject.
We sat side by side on the bench, close enough that our shoulders would occasionally brush, sending sparks flying. My hands hovered above his - that were twice my size - and demonstrated the way his fingers should curve and press each key to create a melody. The notes he played were hesitant at first but I encouraged him and would reach over to guide his fingers to the right spot when he needed. Eventually he got into the rhythm and the sound was full of effort and promise.
I should've known he'd be good at this since he already had very skilled hands.
I smiled at him with approval and watched him concentrate hard on getting the melody right, his brows knitting together. The house filled with music, patience and a sense of closeness, every note brought us both a little more in tune with each other.
He played through the song once with perfection.
"Well done! You're a natural," I congratulated him.
"You're a good teacher."
"And now you know how to play Victor's piano solo by Danny Elfman."
Jacob laughed loudly, "Of course you'd like the movie Corpse Bride."
I slapped his arm but chuckled with him anyway. I guess it was ironic. I didn't actually think he'd know the film.
It dawned on me just how romantic this moment was.
"Can you play something now? I'd like to listen to the pro," he asked sweetly.
I wiggled my fingers and said, "Hold onto your seats ladies and gentlemen." Jacob smiled eagerly. I felt touched he wanted to watch.
I played for him Vivaldi Variation by Florian Christl.
He clapped enthusiastically at the end and I got up to bow. We both laughed.
"That was freaking awesome! Promise me you'll play sometimes, I really enjoyed that."
I smiled at him and crossed my heart. He crossed his in return.
The rest of our night unfolded in perfect simplicity. Dinner was easy and satisfying. We chatted to one another the whole way through. The soft hum of our conversation filled the cosy space and the day's stresses faded with every bite.
Afterward, I washed the dishes and Jacob dried. We were perfectly synchronised. When we were done the couch beckoned us. Jacob switched the light off and the glow of the TV flickered as he scrolled through movie options.
Jacob laid comfortably at one corner of the couch, his long leg stretched out, the other planted on the floor, right arm rested a top the back if the lounge while his left hand used the remote. His deliciously shirtless body on full display. His grey sweatpants that were untied left his strikingly white underwear, in comparison to his skin, peaking out the top more than usual. He still adorned his tight braids that fell against his chest neatly. My breath hitched, caught in my throat as I ogled the magnificent man. He was so focused on finding a movie he didn't notice my reaction.
I sat at the opposite end of the couch, laying on my side. I was sure from this angle he would get a very good view of me. Or my backside I should say. Maybe I could get him to look at me again in a very much non-friendly way. Was it wrong? Perhaps. Did I care considering my family and myself had no hope of defeating the Volturi and I literally had nothing to lose? Nope.
My bronze curls spread around me like a natural blanket as I got comfortable sinking into the plush pillows.
Suddenly, I felt a large duvet be thrown over the bottom half of my body.
"Thanks, but I'm actually quite warm." I shoved the blanket off me.
"It wasn't for your comfort it was for mine," he said matter of factly as he chucked the linen over me again.
I narrowed my eyes at him and placed it back onto him over his chest. "And that's for my comfort then."
He rolled his eyes and gave up, letting the blanket fall onto the floor.
"Maybe you should learn to keep your eyes to yourself," I added smugly. I knew he'd look.
"I can say the same to you," he jabbed back.
"What's it matter anyway if you don't see me like that."
He sighed heavily and scratched the back of his head, "I'm not blind you know." His eyes still stuck on the TV.
"So you're my friend but you find me attractive?" I probably shouldn't keep pushing the boundaries but oh well. It was fun teasing him like this.
He mumbled that sounded something like, "giving me some weird deja vu" before stating clearly, "Yes."
I smiled triumphantly. His confession increased my confidence tenfold and I felt gravity pull me even more forcefully towards him. Like a comet headed for impact.
"Well, we're two adult roommates with nothing to do tonight. And we're both attracted to each other. Maybe, we could find something else to do?" I played with my hair, twisting it around my fingers as a small attempt to comfort and channel my restless thoughts. Thoughts of Jacob Black. I rolled my lips between my teeth and let my blush take hold over my cheeks.
Jacob grinned widely at the TV and chuckled once before leaning his head back over the edge of the couch and placing a hand over his eyes, rubbing side to side in irritation. "You pain me, kid. Don't test my resolve. I'm not always a good man."
"Is that a yes?"
"No."
"No, it's a yes?"
He laughed and finally turned his head away from the TV to look at me. His eyes almost black now in the dim light, glimmered with a bold intensity. A small smile had crept back onto his lips. "I mean no. You can stay down there too, don't get any funny ideas."
"You say no but your face is saying yes."
He chewed on his thumbnail trying to hide his growing smile. A thought seemed to pop in his head and he asked, "Have you ever even had a boyfriend if you've only been alive for seven years?"
"No, I haven't got a lot of experience in that area."
"So then it's a massive no from me."
"What, so it was only a small no before you found out I was a virgin?"
"Yep," he said popping the 'P' cheekily. His eyes still glued to the TV.
"Well, that's a bit rude and judgmental don't you think."
"It's not about that."
"What's it's about then?"
Jacob sighed again, "If Edward didn't already hate my guts, taking your virginity would surely send him over the edge."
"Okay, well, I'll go quickly get deflowered and come back then. And Dad really doesn't hate you. What's it matter anyway, they might never come back."
"Ha! I do not want to find out if he does or doesn't. I'm not a werewolf anymore remember. And your parents will come back. Trust me."
"Well. How about a trade? I give you piano lessons and you give me-"
"Riding lessons?" Jacob looked very proud of his joke.
"Whatever floats your boat."
Jacob chuckled quietly but he didn't reply. I decided I should probably leave it at that. Not that he actually seemed to mind, in fact I think he was enjoying himself. A little too much even.
I couldn't help myself and quickly added, "Bold of you to assume I was implying we have sex."
He threw a pillow at me and I giggled throwing it back.
"Where did all this confidence come from?" he asked.
I shrugged. "I don't know. I had an epiphany. It's not like I'm walking around naked so relax."
"Please, have mercy on me and don't do that."
Jacob had finally settled on some Animal Planet documentary and we sat in mostly comfortable silence watching the TV.
After a long while of us ignoring each other, I saw him, out of my peripheral vision, sneak a peak at my exposed thighs and behind again.
"I can see you," I sung.
Snatching his eyes back to the TV again, Jacob bit his lip hard and fidgeted with the remote. Both his hands had merged behind his head during the documentary and somehow he looked even more appealing that way.
Abruptly, he stood up and declared he was going to take a shower.
I giggled knowingly and teasingly said, "A second shower for the day. Interesting. Why are you doing that?"
His jaw muscle flexed and he licked his front teeth. He was standing over me now, his dominating presence radiating thickly off his body. I felt tingles of anticipation run up my spine from adoration as I let my eyes wander over his chest and face. My heart pounding hard as he didn't answer but just stared at me with smouldering black eyes.
"Careful, now. Two can play that game. Don't listen too hard, will you? I don't listen when you're lying in bed alone and bored at night." His mischievous smile was all I needed to know exactly what he was implying.
I dug my face deeper into the couch in embarrassment. He walked away silently chortling to himself. "Good night," he yelled as he closed the bathroom door.
Over the next couple days I did try and behave myself.
But thoughts of Jacob seeped into everything, like a viscous current. No matter what I was doing - reading, school, sleeping - he was always lingering in the back of my mind. An endless loop, it was almost maddening. I was much more than attracted to him, I was fascinated by him. I wanted to know everything about him and more, in excruciating detail.
Jacob was no help to me either as he wanted to spend as much time with me as I did him. I didn't know what that meant yet. I felt unsure of his exact feelings towards me. Perhaps even he was unsure of his own. But he was attracted to me, that much I could tell.
I was daydreaming while finishing up some horribly boring homework, when the shrill sound of my cellphone that Mom and Dad gave me caused me to leap up into the air from shock. I grabbed the phone answering and almost yelling, "Mom? Dad?"
"Sweetie!" It was Mom. Oh, thank goodness they were okay!
"Mom! You're alright? Where are you? Where's Dad? What's happening? Why haven't you called?"
"Yes, we're all fine. We miss you so much. We love you so much. We're sorry we haven't been able to call. It wasn't safe. How are you? Are you safe? Is Jacob there?"
"Yes, I'm much more than fine, Mom. Jacob's still taking care of me."
"Good, good. Okay, we have to go. Tell Charlie I love him. I'll call again soon."
"No! Wait, Mom-" the line hung up. I placed the phone down slowly.
Jacob walked up to my door frame leaning casually against it, one arm stretched upwards over his head to rest against the wood there. He was so tall he almost had to duck under. His lips were pursed and he looked at me with pity and sadness. He'd heard the conversation.
"Hey, kid. Enough with the homework. Let's go do something fun."
"No thanks," I said in a monotone voice.
A playful smirk tugged at the edge of his lips. He let go of the door frame and walked around my room whistling. He was up to something, I could tell. I didn't look at him, my eyes sole focus on my essay. He had his hands behind his back, his head tilted slightly up as he continued to whistle.
Out of nowhere, his large hands grabbed me under my armpits and lifted me up into the air to throw me over his shoulder. I squealed with laughter that quickly turned sour.
"Put me down, Jacob Black. Or so help you," I threatened.
He kept walking into the kitchen, my body slumped over his shoulder, my feet dangling and hands gripping onto the middle of his back for balance.
He placed me down gently onto my feet. I frowned at him attempting my best glare. He just smiled and said, "So nice of you to join me. Come on, let's go. Pip pip."
He walked out the front door and turned back when he noticed I hadn't moved. My arms folded over my chest in defiance, still scowling.
"I know what you're doing," I said.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied with a sheepish grin.
"Jacob-" I started to complain.
"Please. For me." He was playing dirty. He knew that would get me.
I huffed and turned to follow his lead. Before I started to walk towards him, I decided I would take advantage of this situation, since he wasn't exactly acting very righteous either; manipulating me to come with him. Even if his intentions were kind.
"Fine. But I get to hold your hand."
He seemed happy with this compromise and held his hand out to me. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. His simple gesture toyed with my heart strings. Still, I went to him.
My hand fit perfectly in his, wrapped up and warm. His palm felt both smooth and rough. I liked the way his fingers played with the skin of my mine absentmindedly.
"So, where are you taking me?"
"You'll see."
"Can I get a hint."
"It runs forever but never moves at all. It has no lungs but still has a mighty roar."
I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I contemplated his riddle for a while as Jacob moved us through the thick shrubbery of the woodlands.
"I got it! A waterfall!"
"You're too good, Ness."
"Awesome. Are we close? How far are we? Is it big?"
"Hey, I gave you your clue and that's all you're getting from me."
I pouted my lip at him trying to look at sad as possible.
"Uh-uh. Not gonna work. You can give up on the puppy dog eyes."
"Damn. Thought I might've had you there."
"You wish."
I rolled my eyes at him. I did wish. We walked for another few minutes until finally Jacob demanded, "Alright, close your eyes. No peaking. You promise?"
I crossed my heart and closed my eyes. I could feel the butterflies swirling in my stomach and I felt so giddy I almost felt lightheaded.
Jacob pulled my arm along, directing me towards the waterfall for another minute. Thankful for my vampiric grace, I didn't trip or stumble through the dense mossy floor. I could hear the running water a while back into our hike but I didn't tell Jacob as I feared it would spoil his fun of surprising me.
"Open your eyes," Jacob whispered into my ear, so close it tickled.
"Wow," I gasped.
The small waterfall was lodged into the base of a small cliffside rock, it spilled gracefully over rocky ledges forming a tranquil pool surrounded by woodland. The surface shimmering with reflections of the forest. The rounded rocks were draped in velvety moss and ferns sprouted around the edges, thriving in the misty spray. The sound of trickling water blended perfectly into the rustling of the forest leaves.
"Tah-dah!" Jacob exclaimed, letting go of my hand to walk closer to the natural phenomenon. "Pretty cool, right Ness?"
"So cool," I surged with enthusiasm.
We laid on the ground leaning down to peer into the rock pool underneath the waterfall. Jacob explained many of the different flora and fauna that survived out here near the small oasis. I listened eagerly as he spoke with such ardour. He was immensely knowledgeable but he cockily reminded me that his ancestors had lived on this land for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Storytelling and wisdom passed from parent to child.
"Help me collect some of these small pebbles. Rachel can make some jewellery or something with them," Jacob explained.
"So pretty."
For a few moments all that we could hear was the clinking of rocks as Jacob and I sifted through the shallow pool with our greedy hands. Calm and serene, I felt happy here next to him. There was no awkwardness or need to speak, we just were; silently enjoying each other's company.
"Ouch!" Jacob yelled, breaking the spell.
"What happened? Are you okay?" The smell of blood was intoxicating and stirred my primal instinct to lunge at him. The aroma metallic and sweet, filling my nose. A drying heat pulsing in my throat. I pushed the allure down easily as the worry for my Jacob overshadowed the urge to feed entirely.
"I'm fine. I cut my finger on a rock. I don't have the best rapid regenerative healing anymore but it should be fine in a few minutes. "
He started to inspect the gash, a perfect vertical line down the tip of his finger to his first knuckle. Blood trickling down appetisingly.
He looked to me hesitant and curious. I blinked at him with concern. "Do you want me to run back and get you a first aid kit?" I asked worryingly.
"Nah, I'm a big boy. Are you okay? You're not gonna start chomping at me are you?" His joking demeanour light but underneath the was a hint of real stress.
"No. Definitely not."
Playfully he wiggled his finger in front of me and said in an incredibly bad and stereotypical voice of Dracula," You want to suck my blood!"
I laughed shoving his finger away. "Don't tempt me."
He looked at his finger thoughtfully again. "Do you want some?"
I stared at him perplexed. "Do you want me to?"
"I don't know. I'm morbidly curious. Revolting as it is."
"You're weird Jake," I giggled. "What about the whole - If she has so much as one drop of human blood I'll rip her pretty head off!" I said in my best impersonation of Jacob's deep voice while pointing my finger.
He rolled his eyes and chuckled once," I consent."
"Thought that wasn't allowed either." I hinted at the whole scenario with my mother.
He frowned, upset at my statement. "That's very different to a little cut on someone's finger," he whispered still staring at the blood bubbling.
"You're right. I'm sorry," I said softly to him while placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
Upset at myself for offending him I perked up,"Give me your finger if you're so inclined. I'll taste it. Weirdo."
He smiled at me and we both sat up. With a disgusted face he reached his pointer finger out to me, offering. I had to giggle at his expression.
I wanted a way to make this a little less repulsive and erroneous for him. Despite it being his idea. Maybe I could attempt to make it a little sexual to take the sting away?
I sat onto my knees and even then, Jacob towered above me sitting down naturally with his legs crossed. I grabbed the base of his hand with both of mine, wrapping my fingers around him, his pointer finger aimed straight at my mouth. I smiled seductively at him, or as best I thought how, trying to make our odd experiment resemble a certain sexual act.
He must have caught on - his eyes fluttered, his breathing became laboured, his heart thumping as he stared at me in awe. Not an ounce of fear or aversion to be seen.
I leaned in torturously slow, my heart picking up speed as well. I licked all the way up, starting from the base of his finger, my tongue flat against his skin. Then I placed half of the digit into my mouth and sucked once gently. I released his bleeding finger from my mouth with a quiet popping sound. I licked my lips, still holding his gaze and his hand in mine. My cheeks flooded with colour at my own brazen attempt at enticement.
His blood tasted sweet and filling, better than a deer or elk, but not as good as a bear.
Jacob blinked heavily, his mouth slightly ajar and he swallowed thickly.
I released my hold on him and shyly said, "It's pretty good. I'll give your blood an eight out of ten."
I watched his shell shock and look of desire at my performance abruptly dissipate at my words.
"Only an eight? Come on," he complained. He threw himself down on the ground amongst the tall grass and huffed.
I laughed at his response. Peering down at him lovingly.
He closed his eyes and a smile like the sun - huge and bright - arose. He placed his arms behind his head and sighed in contentment.
"You know, I always knew you were a little bit evil," he teased.
"What ever do you mean?" I bit my lip, stifling my chuckle.
"You know exactly what I mean, kid."
Chapter 7: YOU CATCH MORE BEES WITH HONEY.
Chapter Text
———————————————————————-
Songs:
Spotlight, Mutemath
High Enough, K.Flay
———————————————————————-
Grandpa Charlie is going to kill me if he finds out.
Four months I had been living in Forks and here I was - sat in the principles office awaiting my sentencing. Staring down at the desk, I could hear Mr. Greene on the phone in the reception trying to get in touch with my 'guardian' to no avail. That would be because there was no guardian. The phone number provided by myself on the enrolment papers that I filled out - was my own. Putting Granpa down as my person of contact could put him in danger of the Volturi, in case they discovered he was harbouring his granddaughter.
I had dodged a bullet, I thought smugly.
I heard his heavy footsteps echo back up the hall, entering his closet spaced office. Shutting the door he approached the desk to sit down, tightening his tie. His expression neutral but commanding.
Mr. Greene cleared his throat, leaned onto the desk with both elbows and interlocked his fingers before beginning his speech, "Miss Masen, I haven't been able to get in contact with your Guardian. I see you are living on the reservation? Is there anyone else we can call? This is very important, young lady."
I folded my arms over my chest and huffed in annoyance.
Who could I even call? Billy? No. Grandpa Charlie? Definitely not. Sue? No, because then Grandpa will find out. Jacob? He doesn't look old enough. Who else?
It'll have to be Jacob.
Boy, is he going to get a good laugh out of this. I hope.
I handed Mr. Greene Jacob's number to call to come pick me up.
"Thank you, and who is this Jacob Black to you?"
"Like a second guardian. Close family friend."
"Okay, well, when he gets here we'll have a meeting with the other family."
Oh, no.
Principle Greene walked back out to reception again to call Jake. I slumped down further into the chair, wishing and praying he didn't pick up. Maybe then they'd let me go? No, they'd probably call Child Protective Services and then I'd be in real trouble.
It was just my luck. Jacob was on his way. This was going to get interesting.
Mr. Greene invited the 'victims' family to take their seats next to me, the room charged with tension and formality. They shuffled in and I could feel their glares, penetrating and intense. As we waited for Jacob to arrive all that could be heard was the faint ticking of a clock, quiet snickering and the small shifting movements from all of us in our wooden seats.
My arms still crossed and staring at the ceiling, I couldn't bear to lay my eyes on my victims filthy face.
Finally, feeling like a decade had passed, Jacob had arrived at reception and the principal went to meet him. I overheard their brief encounter.
"You're Jacob Black?" Mr. Greene all but accused.
"Yes, sir."
"Now, you're a guardian to Miss. Masen, not a boyfriend correct?"
"That's right. I'm the chief of the Quileute Tribe. I'm on the tribal council. I oversee cultural representation, policy and economic development, land and resource stewardship and intergovernmental relations. My father is an elder. I help run the Eagle Auto downtown. My Dad and I help take care of Miss. Masen. Would you like any more credentials, sir?"
"No, no, no. Thank you Mr. Black. Apologies. I didn't mean to offend. Come right through," he replied flustered. Apparently nervous that I had, unintentionally, pulled out the big guns on him. I smirked wickedly to myself.
"Is she okay?"
"Yes, she's fine. Please, follow me."
They came in and took their seats, Jacob next to me, his face stoic and concerned. But he glanced at me, when he was sure no one was looking, and flashed me a cheeky grin with a wink.
"So, Mr. Black. We called you in to discuss a very serious dispute that occurred between young Vanessa Masen and Chad Whitlock here. We hope to find a resolution as the Whitlocks have graciously decided not to press charges."
"Charges?" Jacob said with his eyebrows raised, a slight tug of a smile in the corner of his mouth. He was probably imagining Grandpa, Chief Swan, coming to arrest me.
"Yes. You see Miss Masen, um, indecently exposed Mr. Whitlock in the cafeteria today."
Jacob clearly didn't like that explanation as he leaned in, his eyebrows knotted creating a shadow over his eyes.
"What exactly are you saying she did?"
"She, to be frank, pulled his trousers and underwear down in front of a very large group of people."
Jake started to laugh and attempted to cover it with a cough, his hand in a fist against his mouth.
Mrs. Whitlock, Chad's mother, piped up loudly at Jacob's reaction. "This is not funny. My poor boy has been assaulted!"
Mr. Greene held a hand up to silence her but before he could gain control over the situation Jacob spoke," Well, why did she pull his pants down. It's not like Nessie to do something like that for a laugh."
"I didn't do anything! She's a liar!" Chad growled.
"Vanessa?" Mr. Greene asked sternly.
"He was taking photos up under the skirt of my classmate without her knowledge. He was bragging about sending it to everyone. He's a foul human being! So, I thought what way to better avenge her than to give him a taste of his own medicine."
"Is that true?" Principle Greene asked Chad.
"No, she's a liar." Chads face now flushed and sweating.
"Show us your phone and the last photos you took then," Jacob butted in again, baiting him. He seemed equally as angry and defensive as me.
"Who invited the big injun anyway?" Chad sniggered. His use of the slur aimed toward Jacob almost sent me wild with rage. I held onto my chair so hard the wood shrieked underneath my fingertips. Before I began yelling and baring my teeth at the insignificant human boy, Jake placed a hand on my arm restraining me. He shook his head at me, warning me to keep my cool.
"I'm not giving anyone my phone. It's my property!"
"Not on school grounds young man. Give it here," Mr. Greene reached his hand out, palm up, expectantly waiting for the phone to be handed over.
"Mom, Dad, no. It's my phone," Chad begged his parents. They replied to him with silence while looking away from him. Clearly, they must've known Chad wasn't always an angel.
Reluctantly, Chad placed his phone into the palm of Mr. Greene. After one glance at the evidence he sighed heavily and stared at Chad in disbelief. Shaking his head in dismay he apologised to myself and Jacob. But not before sternly lecturing me on the proper procedures to follow when something like this happens, and that if there was a next time I would be expelled.
Finally free from the confines of the stuffy and claustrophobic office, I sighed in relief as we walked down the halls to the parking lot.
"You've been a naughty girl Nessie, what am I going to do with you?" Jacob laughed so loud people stared. Although, everyone always stared at him. And me. We made an enticing duo.
Giggling, I flirted back," I can think of a few things..."
"Like what? Eternal enslavement?"
"Intriguing idea." I bit my lip hard.
"I would make a spanking joke but I fear you'd actually punch me in the face. I'd like to keep my nose intact."
I rolled my eyes at him. Kind of wish he did make that joke.
"Sorry you had to miss work to come and deal with my mess."
"Pfff. I wouldn't have missed this for the world! I laughed my ass off the whole way here," he chuckled.
"I'm glad I amuse you."
"Good job by the way."
"With what?"
"Giving that pig what he deserves. Very creative too."
"He really did deserve it Jake. I couldn't help myself. I was just so mad."
"Remind me not to get on your bad side. Don't want to walk around pant-less all the time. So, let me guess, he had a tiny peepee?"
"Did you just say peepee?" I almost started crying from laughter. "Yes, I guess it was. Although, I thought you can't judge them when they're soft?"
"Sure, sure. Stop being so diplomatic. Can't we at least pretend it's micro sized? It'd make the world seem a lot better and fairer a place."
"It was smaller than my pinky!" I joked, holding up my small finger to Jake's face. He laughed big again. "Jacob, how come you never told me you were on the council?"
"I don't know. Didn't seem relevant I guess."
"I think it's a pretty important part of your life. That's a pretty profound piece of information to leave out. You're too humble sometimes."
"Sure, sure. It's kinda boring though."
"I don't care. If it's about your life, I would never find it boring."
He chuckled," Alright then. Prepare to be proven wrong. I can give you the run down next time we see Billy. That way you can be bored for an extra four hours of your life." I laughed softly in reply.
"Hey Jake?"
"Yeah?"
"Do people use those kind of slurs a lot still? How can you stand it? I was about to rip his throat out." I was thinking back on Chad saying injun. I shivered.
"Sometimes people do, not a lot though. And I can stand it because I have to."
"You shouldn't have to. Why should you? And to think of how much horror the First Nations people have had to live through. And still to this day. It's disgusting, he's disgusting. He should be punished and Mr. Greene didn't even do anything about it!"
"I appreciate your passion, kid." He didn't say anymore about it.
There was a small silence.
"I'm still not a kid," I said jokingly.
"I just picked you up from school."
"Okay, but that's irrelevant."
"Sure, sure. What would you prefer to be called then?"
"Goddess."
Jake rolled his eyes, "No. If you come up with a better one, I'll use it."
"Schnupkins."
"I'd rather a hot poker down my dick hole than say that."
"Sugar-bear."
"I think I might throw up. And what about me? Don't I get a nickname too?"
"Sure, sure. How about hunk?"
He made a gagging noise.
"Fine, not hunk. Angel?"
"Getting better but still no."
"You're impossible."
"So are you."
"Maybe that's why we get along so well. Two peas in a pod you and I."
Jacob hummed in approval. "Speaking of names, what's with Vanessa?"
"Oh, right. Well, it's the closest name to Renesmee. Kind of. I was going to use my middle name Carlie but it felt too familiar. Besides, you're lucky that you can still use the nickname Nessie for me because of it."
"And Masen?"
"My Dad's last name. Couldn't use Swan or Cullen now could I?"
"Huh. Vanessa Masen and Renesmee Carlie Cullen."
"That's me."
We hopped in the car and sped off. To my surprise though, Jacob wasn't taking the usual route home.
"Are you kidnapping me?" I asked, semi pleased at the thought.
"Nope. I'm taking you to jail. Well, kind of."
"Grandpa Charlie! Yes! Wait, you're not gonna throw me under the coals to Grandpa are you?"
"Nah. He asked for us to stop by so I can pick up some fishing gear to give to my Dad. Relax, honey."
My heart fluttered at the pet name. I felt my cherry-red blush rising.
"I like that nickname," I confessed, twisting locks of my hair, keeping my gaze shyly on the ground.
We made our quick pit stop by Grandpa Charlie's and Jacob kept trying to get me to spill the beans about my day at school. I poked him hard in the ribs to which he brushed off while chuckling deeply. After we dropped the fishing gear at Billy's we had finally made it home.
"So, what are you making me tonight?" Jacob asked rubbing his flat stomach.
"Oh, nothing. Sorry, you're gonna have to take the reins on dinner tonight without me. I have a date."
Before Jacob turned his face away from me, I saw the flash of a large frown appearing on his handsome face.
His tone changed, displeased, he asked," With who?"
"Claire. She very kindly invited me to grab dinner at the local fish and chip shop." His reaction to calling my hangout a date satisfied me.
"Oh, that's great! Have fun. She's a great chick," his happy go lucky attitude back in full swing again.
Huh. So he didn't like the thought of me going on a date, but hanging out with a friend was good? I grated my teeth together while overthinking his responses.
"And what if I was going on a date?"
"Why would I care. It's your life."
"Uh-huh. You didn't seem so happy about it a few seconds ago."
Rolling his eyes," You need to be safe is all. You're a magnet for danger."
"Okay, but I'm pretty sure I can easily handle a simple human boy. Which you already know, cause I'm half-vampire and all."
"Sure, sure."
I replied bitterly," Whatever, Jake."
"What's wrong?" he asked in surprise at my acidic tone.
"Nothing. Why can't you admit you were jealous?"
"I wasn't jealous!" he exclaimed dramatically, his eyes bugging out of his head.
"Sure you weren't."
"I wasn't," he grumbled as he stalked off to the pantry to look for something to make for his dinner.
"You're being overly defensive for someone who says they aren't."
"Am I now?" he said as I heard his teeth grinding together. He started to sift through the copious quantities of food products aggressively.
"Well, I was going to invite you. Because I wanted you to come. It could've been nice," my sentences were sharp. I looked away from him.
He sighed heavily through his nose, his head bowing down as he stopped all movements. His long ink-coloured hair fell like curtains around his hunched frame as he gripped the cupboard in front of him firmly.
His voice was soft as he spoke now, "Even if I was jealous, it wouldn't change anything. And if you'd still like me to join for dinner, I'd really like that."
The heat of my annoyance that had burned inside felt like someone had thrown cold water over it. "No, I should apologise. I shouldn't have overreacted like that, that wasn't nice of me. I appreciate everything Jake. But, maybe, it'd be better if it was just Claire and I tonight."
I felt gravity's pull towards Jacob become almost unbearable. I wanted him to come so badly. I wanted him all to myself. But I knew this was the right decision.
Jacob nodded, his back still turned, as he gently grabbed a packet of two-minute noodles. Before he could turn around and see the look on my face, I ran out the door.
Not bothering with driving and needing to let off some steam, I sprinted to the meeting point Claire had sent me. I forced myself to forget Jacob and our last conversation. The forest blurred around me as I ran, the cool air filling my lungs, branches reaching out to me like skeletal arms as if the world was trying to stop me. I couldn't bear to look back and pushed myself forward.
The coordinates ended up being a dead end parking lot. There wasn't another person or car in sight. Strange.
"Nessie!" I heard Claire yell ecstatically from her car that was turning into the lot. She drove up to greet me, grinning ear to ear with her head and hand hanging out the drivers seat. She was the epitome of reckless joy. No wonder her and Quil were soulmates.
"Hey Claire!"
"Jump on in. We're going on an adventure," she said with a hint of madness.
I giggled hopping into the passenger seat," Cool. Where to?"
"You'll see," she replied ominously.
"I'm surprised Quils not with you."
"I'm surprised Jacobs not with you."
I frowned. "Ha. Yeah, but I'm not his imprint."
"True. Although, you could be," Claire insisted.
"It'd make things a lot easier if I were."
She glanced at me intrigued," Tell me more." She sped off down the main road dangerously. Thankfully, I was used to abnormally fast speeds.
I shrugged," It's just that... well, I wish I was his imprint. It means I wouldn't have to worry about all the consequences of liking him so much." I made sure not to the word love.
"Ah. Gotcha. I forgot you're not exactly a human and all. But I think it's sweet that you both have little crushes on each other."
"I don't think Jacob has a crush on me. I know he's attracted to me but maybe that's just my vampire allure - not real. Besides, he's probably my best friend now that I think about it."
"I think he might like you more than you think."
"Did Quil tell you that?"
"Sorry, I'm not a snitch. My lips are sealed," she gave me a lopsided grin. "Hey, you can be my new project! Mission 'Get Jacob to kiss Nessie' is in full pursuit."
"Please, no. I'm failing as it is trying to do that myself."
"That's exactly why you need my help."
"I should just leave him alone. Everything he's done and doing for me, it would be the kind thing to do."
"Sure, but not the fun thing to do," Claire slapped my shoulder.
I rolled my eyes but finding myself still smiling happily in her easy going presence.
"Seriously, Claire. Where are we going?"
"Shopping!" she announced while adjusting her sunglasses as if she were a movie star.
We arrived in Seattle, full of excitement and possibilities. Unlike my mother, I thoroughly enjoyed clothing and Auntie Alice couldn't be more proud to call me her niece because of it. Most of my life she dressed me like I was her own personal doll - or mannequin? Much to my Mom's disapproval.
After an hour, we were both armed with two oversized tote bags each.
I reminded Claire of her hilarious attempt at trying on heels two sizes too small as we walked back to our car and began laughing at the memory again.
"But the heels were so cute Nessie!" she huffed.
"They really were. Too bad they didn't have your size."
"You know, you're kind of annoying to shop with. You look good in everything. You're like a model."
"Thank you Claire - sort of. You're stunning so shut your mouth."
"You're right. I'm hot." We both laughed in agreement. "And now you have some clothing that is sure to turn Jake's head. Mark my words," Claire continued gravely.
"Ha-ha. Don't get your hopes up."
"Hey, never underestimate the power of these," she replied, playfully grabbing my petite breasts firmly with both her hands, struggling to keep them up with the weight of our shopping bags.
"Mine are a lot smaller than yours though."
"Like guys care actually about that. They get a glimpse of someone's boob or butt and they're happy as Larry."
I giggled in response. I suppose she was right.
"I was thinking that you should come to my prom that's coming up. Then at least it wouldn't be so boring, you know. Maybe, I shouldn't go at all."
"What? You have to go! It's prom, stupid. And we already got your dress. You should ask Jacob to go with you."
"Yeah, I don't know. I thought about it."
"You know I'd come with you but unfortunately we're having our own at school on the rez. If all fails, come to mine instead!"
"Awesome. Thanks Claire," I smiled thankfully at her.
"But you should still ask Jacob," she pressured.
This adventure had been exactly what I needed. Not only a successful shop but also a success in finding another companion. My life was looking a lot less lonely and more and more meaningful with every passing month.
We waddled ourselves over toward the car, our overly full shopping bags swaying and bumping into our sides and legs.
Then it hit me.
A scent - sharp, sweet and ancient that drifted on the cool nights breeze. I froze mid-step. My predatory senses flaring.
Another vampire was near.
My chest tightened in fear and my eyes darted around the parking lot outside of the shopping centre. My keen vision searching for any unnatural movement. The shadows seemed to shift and whisper around us.
Had the Volturi found me? How could I be so stupid to leave the safety of the reservation? To leave Jacob behind and not tell him where we were going?
"What's wrong?" Claire asked softly, peering at my terrified face with concern.
"We need to call Quil and Jacob. Now. Run! Get in the car!" I growled at her.
How could I have also put Claire in danger like this? What have I done?
We jumped into the car and sped off away from the scent. The tires screeched against the road leaving a burnt rubber tattoo on the ground. Claire's car shot forward like a bullet, the engine growling with raw power. The rain burst with a sudden start and hammered down on the windshield, blurring our view of the empty highway towards home. As Claire white-knuckled the steering wheel driving even more dangerously fast than before, I called Jacob.
Pick up, pick up, pick up, I chanted at my head. I glared out the window, my eyes darting, looking for any trace of another following us. There was nothing.
"Nessie!"
"Jake! Jake, Claire and I went shopping in Seattle and when we were coming back I smelled a vampire -" Jacob cut me off my panicked rambling.
"What? I thought you were getting dinner down town?"
"I know, I'm sorry. It was stupid."
"Okay. I'll meet you half way and follow you back. I'll tell Quil. He'll check out the perimeter."
"Alright, Jake-"
Click. He had hung up.
Claire screeched," A vampire?"
Her chest began to heave as she momentarily struggled to keep control of the car.
"Yes. Don't worry. I don't think they were close. And I can't see or sense anyone following us. I think maybe it was just a passer-by." I attempted to calm her nerves. I chewed on my fingernails anxiously, still on high alert.
"I hope Quil's okay going out there in the dark with that thing lurking," she said, her voice cracking with worry. She kept her eyes peeled on the road.
"He's strong. And I'm not sure they followed us. He'll be okay. Both of them will be." As I spoke it was if I was really trying to convince us both instead of speaking with certainty.
Finally, after ten long minutes, we saw Jacob's car appear and U-Turn and begin to follow us home. My heart began to settle knowing he was near. I begged to all the Gods I could think of, praying I hadn't put anyone in danger.
Finally, we had returned back to safety, back to the reservation, back home. The rain had thankfully given up on its attack. Both cars skidded to a halt outside of Jacob's house. I jumped out immediately before Claire had even come to a full stop.
Before I could even begin, my words were halted by a long howl echoing from the nearby woods. Quil. My head whipped towards the noise. I couldn't tell what the howl had meant. Were we safe? Or were we in danger? My heart hadn't stopped its forceful pounding in my chest. The cocktail of fear and despair was still rushing through my body unapologetically. My hands were trembling, my breath shallow and quick.
Jacob ran up to me, grabbing me by my shoulders roughly, his fingers wrapping around the whole circumstance of my arms. His eyes were wild with worry and anger as he spoke.
"What were you thinking? Why didn't you tell me? Are you hurt? Did it follow you?"
"I'm sorry. No, I don't think they followed us. I'm not sure. I-"
"It was my fault. I surprised Nessie with the shopping spree. She didn't know," Claire admitted shamefully. Her head to the ground as she kicked absentmindedly at the gravel under her feet.
Jacob let me go and glanced towards the woods, his eyes searching. I yearned to have his large hands back on my body. His breathing was still laboured in concern, his full lips pursed and his eyes were dark from the cast of his large brows that had knotted together. His care for me was now abundantly obvious, making my heart throb with even more adoration and guilt.
Suddenly, we heard Quil coo from the edge of the forest. We all looked at him expectantly, awaiting the news about the possibility of imminent death. But Quil walked to us in seemingly high spirits, a spring in his step and a small smile plastered on his face.
Claire lunged at Quil with a force that would have knocked any normal person over. She ran into his arms, jumping to wrap her legs around his waist. He laughed in response and clung to her just as eagerly, spinning her around. The way he looked at her with so much love made me almost uncomfortable to witness their intimate reunion. He gave her a small peck on the top of her head while placing her down gently before turning to us.
"It's all good Jake. No stench. Whatever it was, it didn't follow them back. We'll do another lap around town to be sure later tonight."
Jacob nodded, he seemed so relieved I could physically see his muscles had begun to relax, almost sinking down underneath his skin.
The urge to comfort him hit me like a ton of bricks and I did the unthinkable. I wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly to me. He felt warm, soft and yet incredibly strong under my touch. I felt like a child in comparison to his mammoth frame. How could I have ever asked for distance from him? I buried my face into his chest and breathed deeply to draw in as much of his scent as possible. Heaven.
"I promise I won't go anywhere again without telling you. Forgive me," I whispered into his shirt, rubbing my cheek against the fabric and squeezing my eyes tightly shut.
Affectionally, Jacob stroked my hair and placed a blazing hand against my back to pull me
tighter into our embrace.
"There's nothing to forgive, honey. I'm sorry you can't go on a girls trip without the threat of becoming someone's lunch. You really are a magnet for trouble."
I chuckled once, which sounded more like a hum.
"But seriously though. Don't do that again."
"I promise," I said as he gently pulled me away from him to look into my eyes. Just one more minute, I thought to myself as he began having to practically drag me away from his body. Reluctantly, I took a step back to gaze upwards at his beautiful face.
He gave me a soft smile and crossed his heart. I grinned at him and crossed my heart too.
"Nessie and Jacob sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Quil began to sing.
I had totally forgotten that we had company. I was so enthralled and wrapped up in everything Jacob. Shame and embarrassment flared and I felt myself changing colour. I fiddled with my necklace as I rolled my eyes at Quil. Claire was trying her best not to laugh as she covered her face with Quil's arm.
Jacob ignored his childish and mocking song, "Alright, this has been eventful enough for me. I'm going inside. Night Claire. Night Quil."
Jacob strolled back into the house, content enough that there was nothing dangerous to be concerned about.
I hauled my shopping out of the car and hugged Claire goodbye, still thanking her for the girl time. If it weren't for the whole vampire situation, it was a lovely human experience we shared together. I hoped dearly it wouldn't affect our growing friendship. Claire did not seem at all phased and suggested we all go on a double date next week. I guess she had to be good with weird considering her boyfriend morphed into a giant dog and all.
I waved to them both as they retreated from Jacob's property. No doubt going back to Quil's for some alone time together.
If only I was so lucky.
After a day of avoiding getting expelled, exposing someone's genitalia to the world, venturing into Seattle, running away from another vampire and scaring the living daylights out of Jacob, it was safe to say I'd had one crazy day.
Chapter 8: I WAS SO DAMN CLOSE.
Chapter Text
——————————————————————
Songs:
'O Children, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
Maneater, Nelly Furtado
——————————————————————
Recently, I had been sneaking into Jacob's room during the middle of the night.
I had told him it was because I was scared. He had come to be much more agreeable to the idea after the Seattle scenario. But in truth it was because I needed to be close to him.
Most nights now, I curled up next Jacob, drifting peacefully into sleep - the nightmares washed away by his very presence. Sometimes when he was in a deep slumber, I would very gently play with the ends of his black satin hair. I would run my fingertips over their surface, appreciating the thick soft strands that smelled of chamomile and mandarin.
Jacob was always very careful to stay on his side of the bed and most mornings I woke up to him lying face down with his arm slumped off the mattress onto the floor. In this position it was much easier to see his unnaturally long and wiry body, the swell of his behind and rippling muscles beneath his russet skin. Before he would wake, I would withdraw into my room. Just to prove that falling asleep next to one another wasn't a complete invasion of his privacy. To subconsciously convince him that we didn't need to sleep separately for us to still continue to have a flourishing friendship.
On this particular night however, I felt restless and bored.
The night stretched endlessly as I lay there twisting and shifting positions, mirroring the turmoil I felt within. Even though the night was dark and draped over the world like a blanket, I still felt like someone was shining bright headlights into my brain. Turning over to one side and then the other I chased the comfort of sleep that was just within my reach. But my mind was alight and my thoughts buzzed like moths to a flame.
Jacob grunted, annoyed at my fidgeting that had begun to wake him up.
"Sorry, I can't sleep," I whispered to him. He was lying face down again and it was hard to make out his muffled reply into the pillow.
"Go to sleep" is what it sounded like.
I sighed and rolled over again onto my back to stare up at the ceiling.
Jacob grunted again and hauled himself over to lie on his back too. He rubbed his eyes and yawned wide.
"Why are you awake?" he asked grumbly, his voice thick like velvet from lack of sleep.
"I don't know. Maybe I'm nervous about prom tomorrow. Sorry, I'm not trying to be a pain."
"You're seriously wide awake aren't you?"
"Yep."
He sighed in defeat. "Why would you be nervous about prom?"
"I don't really like many of my classmates. I'd much rather attend the one on the reservation. Then Claire would be there."
"Okay, do that then."
I thought of the conversation between Claire and I and how I should ask Jacob. I gulped audibly before asking, lack of sleep blurring my ability to feel embarrassed," It'd be more fun if you came."
"Me? Are you asking me to prom?" Even in the darkness I could hear his cheeky grin.
"Yes. I guess I am."
Jacob rolled onto his side, propping himself up on one arm to peer at me. We were so close now that I could feel his hot breath. He smiled warmly and grabbed a lock of my hair, twirling it around one of his large fingers. As soon as my heart accelerated at the action he glanced at my face, studying it. He must have heard.
Softly he replied," I'm flattered. I would say yes."
"But..."
"But, I'm an old man now. I can't go to proms. They'd throw me out for looking like a creep. And I'm not a paleface. 'Sides it'd throw your cover from the other day with Mr. Greene, remember?"
I felt my eyes droop with sadness, my mouth turning down at his logical explanation.
"Yeah, you're right."
Jacob rolled his lips between his teeth before mumbling," Still, I'd like to see you in a dress."
I turned my head to smile at him affectionately. He was still playing with the lock of my hair.
"I happen to look very good in dresses," I stated.
"I bet you do," he replied huskily. Sleep deprivation had caused his mask to fall, letting me meet a much more flirtatious and forward side of Jacob.
"I wonder what you'd look like in a tux?"
"Penguin-like."
I giggled. "No, you'd look very handsome I think. Maybe it's a good thing you can't come to prom with me. I might try and jump your bones."
"Never mind, prom sounds like a great idea. I'm going!" Jacob jested and laughed deeply.
"Really?!" I rejoiced and leaped up onto my side as well, leaning closer to his face.
"No," he said definitively but gifting me a mischievous grin as to not hurt my feelings too much from the rejection.
I rolled my eyes.
"Fine. If you can't go to prom with me then you can answer some of my questions."
"I'm all ears."
"What was it like when you first turned into a wolf?"
Jacob looked to the ceiling momentarily as he pondered my question. "It was one of the worst nights of my life. I thought I was a monster."
"Did it hurt?"
"For a second, yes. Every time. It's the worry of feeling out of control, like your body won't catch you before you phase into a new form that's the scariest part."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. There was lots of cool stuff too."
"You're not a monster you know."
He smiled softly as he replied," Sure, sure. It's not as bad as thinking about what everyone else must of thought of us. Us Native American men already have to face so much discrimination and stereotypes being thrown at us. Becoming overgrown, angry and temperamental boy-men from the transformation didn't help. It was annoying enough as a kid having pale-faces asking me if I could talk to animals or give them a spirit name. Stupid. I was just a normal human being. And the poof. I'm a werewolf. Go figures."
"That's terrible. You had your childhood taken away from you. I'm sorry my family had a part in that, eventhough it was unintentional."
"S'okay. They understand now I guess. Well. Except for dropping you off here of course. But, I'm happy to make exceptions." Jacob grinned cheekily at me.
"Forever in your debt we are. You could ask for anything and we'd give it to you. You know that."
"I know. I guess." He became very silent then and looked away from my face, chewing on his bottom lip. He quickly changed the subject, more upbeat in his tone. "So how 'bout you? Were you a spoilt child?"
"Ha-ha. And yes. Extremely spoilt of course. I am one of a kind you know."
"What was the best part of growing up for you?"
"My family. Hunting bears with Uncle Emmet! Shopping with Auntie Alice. Playing piano with my Dad. Reading with Mom. All the cool cars we had - you'd froth at the mouth Jake if you saw them. All of it was the best part. I miss them."
"Sounds fun. I'm sorry."
"It's fun here too."
Silence.
I felt a sudden urge to push more boundaries.
"Have you ever thought about kissing me?" I whispered nervously.
Jacob looked shocked before he burst into a small fit of laughter. "What kind of question is that?"
"A question you said you'd answer."
"I don't think I should reply."
"Please? Wouldn't you want to know if the roles were reversed?"
He frowned at me, staring deep into my eyes as he chewed on his answer.
"Yes. I have."
A felt lightning bolts of desire strike through my veins. It felt comforting to have my suspicions confirmed. "Have you ever thought of me naked?"
"You know, most people when interviewing someone else ask open ended questions."
"Okay, if you've ever thought about me naked please describe that for me."
He chuckled," Next question."
"Oh, come on."
"No. That's enough for tonight. You need to get your beauty rest for tomorrow," he commanded.
I sighed heavily in annoyance as Jacob rolled onto his back closing his eyes. His breathing slowed as he concentrated on falling back into the deep slumber I had rudely awoken him from. I gazed down at him analysing his features in the dark. I thought about Jacob thinking about kissing me.
"I can feel you watching me. Go to sleep," he teased.
"I like watching you sleep."
"Is it the snoring that turns you on?"
I stifled a laugh into the pillow," No. Get a grip. Just cause I asked you to prom doesn't mean you get to be all high and mighty now."
With his eyes still closed, he reached his hand out to me and flicked my nose. I flinched, slapping his hand away while giggling.
"But I am high and mighty, quite literally. And you know I have turn your invitation down."
"I know, I know. Thanks, Jake."
"Sure, sure. Now please, I'm begging you. Go. To. Sleep."
I stayed perfecting still lying next to Jacob. The warmth of his presence radiated, steady and reassuring but tantalisingly out of reach. I edged my self closer, keeping my movements careful and deliberate so that the rustling of the sheets wouldn't give me away. My body brushed gently against his side sending a fleeting spark of connection. I held my breath hoping he wouldn't stir or pull away. I leaned more into his side.
Jacob's chuckle was deep and guttural. He shoved me gently back to my side of the cold bed, away from him.
I waited a few moments before I let my foot sneakily worm its way back to his leg, brushing against his skin there. He didn't push me away this time. My mouth twitched into a smile.
Jacob grunted appreciatively, allowing me to keep this position, and whispered," Goodnight, Ness."
"Goodnight, Jacob."
When I awoke the next morning, I began dreading the thought of prom.
The rest of the day was spent preparing and pampering myself.
My room was a whirlwind of fabric, makeup and last minute decisions. I stood in front of the mirror staring at my reflection. I adjusted the straps of my dress for the hundredth time. Not too bad, I thought. Could be better if I had Auntie Rose and Alice with me, but still acceptable.
My full length silk gown, the colour of dark violet, clung to my curves, accentuating my features. It was the perfect blend of elegance and warmth. The stark contrast to my hair made me look even more captivating and ethereal.
I started to fuss with my hair again, adding another pin to keep the curls in place. My makeup was simple but enhanced the colour of my dark chocolate brown eyes. I smoothed my dress down one more time and took a deep breath through my nose.
I could hear Jacob, who had just arrived back home, settling in to the lounge room.
"It's time," I whispered to myself, taking one last look in the mirror.
I grabbed my bag and a jacket and walked into the living room, my heels clicking against the floorboards. I turned around to smile at Jacob.
When his eyes found mine he froze in place. His hands fell to his sides and his mouth parted slightly, as though words had momentarily abandoned him.
"You look... beautiful," he finally managed, his voice barely a whisper. Jacobs gaze swept over me appreciatively as if he was trying to commit every detail to memory.
My cheeks flushed and I gave him a small self conscious smile," Thanks. Not too much?"
"No, definitely not too much. Perfect."
My smile widened, unrestrained, at his words.
I gave him a small twirl, my nerves had melted away by his reaction. He chuckled lowly.
"You wish you should've said yes now to being my date, huh?" I joked but only on the surface.
"I would've said yes. If I could."
"You tease me."
His eyebrows shot up with an idea and he smiled mischievously at me.
"Wait here a sec," he said while dashing to his room. His door closed and I could hear him shuffling around in his cupboard.
After a few minutes he opened the door again.
It was my turn to stare at him shock. My breath hitched. He looked different - more polished, but still Jacob. He wore a long sleeve white suit shirt, with the ends rolled up to his elbows, that was tucked into black pants. The button down still strained slightly at his overgrown muscles but fit him perfectly, the brightness highlighted his dark characteristics and matched his charming smile. He looked like he could be my prom date in this outfit. What was he planning?
"You look amazing. I feel a little out of my league," I said, biting down hard on my lip.
"No way. But thank you."
There was a small silence as we both took in each others appearances. The quiet was broken by Jacob's question," So, dance with me?"
I gazed up at him as he walked sultrily towards me, taking three large steps. I understood now that he was pretending we were at the prom together. My heart raced.
"There's no music," I squeaked.
He held a finger up in the air before quickly connecting his iPod to the TV speakers. He played the song 'O Children' by Nick Cave.
The slow tune filled the room like a gentle embrace.
Jacob extended a hand out to me with an exaggerated bow, forcing me to laugh.
"May I have this dance?" he asked again, his eyes twinkling.
I rolled my eyes in mock exasperation at first before smiling sweetly and placing my hand in his. "Of course."
Jacob pulled me close and we swayed together in time with the music but our movements were unhurried and imperfect. His body felt powerful and perfectly in unison with mine. His hands firm on my hips and my arms wrapped around his neck. We fit together breathtakingly well. The soft glow of the fire casted long shadows on the walls and world outside seemed to disappear. Jake spun me once, our laughter breaking the quiet connection, and when I came back around to him I rested my head against his chest, listening to the rhythmic thrum of his beating heart.
"Thank you Jacob," I whispered. I fought back the tears of joy threatening to overtake me. I didn't want to ruin my makeup. Or the moment.
"See, I kind of did get to go to prom with you in the end," he murmured into my hair, placing his warm cheek against the top of my head.
I smiled and closed my eyes as we moved together, the music carried us into our own little universe. I never wanted the song to end.
I was completely bewitched and utterly in love with Jacob Black.
Too soon, the song ended and somehow I found myself alone at the Forks High prom. The music thumped and lightly shook the walls of the lit up gymnasium, but I barely noticed. All I could think about was dancing with my Jacob at home. I leaned against the cold wall of the room, absentmindedly tracing the rim of the cup of my untouched punch. Laughter and voices swirled around me in a chaotic blend I couldn't tap into. I didn't want to be here. I felt like a guest in someone else's dream. My dream was far away back on the reservation. The streamers and balloons only made me feel smaller and more pathetic standing here alone. I didn't fit in. Not here.
Just as I was about to give up and scurry home I got a text from Claire. Thank the gods!
I read, Hey girl! Come join the rest of us! We're all going to a lil bar just off the highway. I'll come pick you up in 20. Don't worry I packed a spare dress for you to wear because I'm a genius. Jacob will be there too ;)
I replied, Claire. I love you. Please come save me asap.
Claire arrived, surprisingly on time, and handed me the new outfit. She said I'd look too suspicious in my formal wear and she didn't want us to get turned away at the bar. Claire sported a ribbed red cocktail dress, she looked incredibly sexy. Thankfully, we were similar sizes except she had a lot more cleavage and I was significantly taller than her. The short mini black dress she gave me fit like a glove but it barely covered my behind, showing off my ridiculously long porcelain legs. We sped off to our new destination and I hugged her fiercely, claiming her to be my saviour. And a very good friend.
The neon sign of the bar flickered above the entrance, its buzzing hum barely audible over the rumble of passing trucks. We pushed through the wooden door and a wave of sound and warmth enveloped us. Loud music and conversation, the clinking of glasses and the thumping of people dancing echoed throughout the space. The bar was small but packed, the wooden floors scuffed that told stories of countless nights like this one. The room was alive and buzzing with energy. Claire grasped my hand and lead me through the crowd of people, turning her head once to peer back at me with pure excitement.
She lead me to one of the corners with two small bar high tables. Jacob and Claire's, and now my friends too, were crammed here into this small space of the dance floor. She let go of my hand and immediately went to Quil who was sitting at one of the tables. Everyone I had previously met at the bonfire cheered and said their hello's to us. Clearly, most of them were very drunk but also incredibly happy. I smiled so hard my cheeks began to hurt.
After a few fleeting conversations with the others, I sharpened my focus on the real reason I wanted to be here. To see Jacob.
I craned my neck, scanning the rest of the room with wide eager eyes. My heart racing with a mix of hope and desperation.
A flash of movement caught my eye - a familiar shape, a glimpse of his signature black snug T-Shirt. I froze, my pulse skipping. And there he was.
Jake was weaving through the crowd easily to our corner, he was so large he didn't have to ask people to move or push past.
He reached our group of friends and everyone praised him, welcoming him back to the circle. Jacob grasped a large glass of, what I could only assume to be whiskey, and chugged it back in one large gulp. He slammed the remaining back onto the table top and lightly coughed from the invasion of the liquor into his system.
When he turned his head our eyes locked. His face at first shocked, settled into his most Jacob-y smile. His pupils were so dilated they appeared to be black and sparkling. Jake shoved a passerby to get to me, his stare on me the whole time.
"Nessie! You're here!" he exclaimed, joy pouring out of him. He thrust me up into a tight bear hug and spun me around once. Jacob had never greeted me like this before. He settled me back down onto the ground but kept his hands firmly placed on my shoulders. He must be very drunk.
"Hey Jake! How drunk are you?" I giggled at him.
"Not that drunk, not yet," he slurred.
"Uh-huh, sure you're not. I missed you. Hope I'm not crashing the party."
"Pff. Please. I want you to crash the party. Another dress? You trying to seduce me?" he poked fun while moving one hand down to fiddle with the edge of my hem. He was so close to touching my thigh or abdomen from this gesture of affection. Blood rushed to my lower regions automatically.
"No, I'm not trying to seduce you. Not yet. Do you have a kink for dresses or something?" I flirted back.
"Who doesn't like a little easy access?"
I slapped his hand away from me playfully, my cheeks a crimson red. He winked mischievously at me. Okay, he must be absolutely plastered drunk. But I didn't mind. Not one bit.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the rest of the group, finding a free high chair for him to sit in. People began conversing loudly over us and it was hard to concentrate on their words. I leaned into Jacob's side standing next to him. He wrapped one of his long arms around my waist to pull me in closer to him. I could die happy being here like this. I rested my head against his shoulder and listened to him banter back and forth with the other men, his body jostling with laughter every now and again, causing me to bobble up and down with his movements. His hand still tight against my waist, holding me in place. I ignored people's intrigued looks at us from my peripheral vision. Jacob glanced down at me at one point during his conversation and smiled in a way that I swear was almost lovingly.
"You okay?" he gently whispered in my ear, his hot breath making me shiver. He was probably curious as to why I had been uncharacteristically quiet.
Before I could answer, Jared quipped at Jacob, "Uh-oh. I've seen that look before." I wondered what he meant by that?
Jake glared at him before he rolled his eyes and quickly diverted his attention back to me, waiting for my answer.
"Yes, I'm great. Wanna dance with me again?"
"Damn straight I do."
This time, I grabbed his hand and lead him into the sea of couples dancing. The mass of bodies moving as one, but in this moment it only felt like we were the only two people in the room. The crowd pulsed and it was inevitable that we would accidentally brush against others on the dance floor.
I swayed my hips in time to the music, making my movements slow and deliberate. At first I felt nervous being in such close - sexually close - proximity to Jacob like this but I let the song flow and take over my body. I drew him closer to me with every beat. Our eyes locked on each other in the darkness and we fell easily into an intimate rhythm against one another. Jacob's hands flashed back to my waist with confidence, his body responded to mine as if we had done this dance a hundred times before.
The heat between us was palpable, each movement electric and charged with a tension neither of us was in any rush to break.
Jacob leaned down closer to me so that our faces were almost aligned. The world had shrunk around us and all I could see was his handsome face illuminated by random flashes of the dance floor lights. His eyes smouldering and dark, I could clearly see the desire and temptation behind his faltering mask.
Jake leaned in more and swept his hot cheek against my ear, breathing hard as he kept up the momentum of his movements. I wrapped my arms around his neck just like I had at home a few hours before. Being so close to him like this made me feel euphoric. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back in time with the music to expose my neck to him. Trying to encourage more. Jacob moved his face down lower exactly to where I wanted him, his lips brushing softly against my throat. Gentle fluttering touches, not kisses, but close enough.
Impossibly so, he gripped me tighter.
I threw my head back up. Our faces now only centimetres apart. My heart quickened and I grabbed a fist full of his hair to steady myself and keep him locked in place. He growled. It wasn't an angry growl, it was one of passion and craving. I let my lips part reflexively as I leaned my face closer to him, almost teasing us both with this slow torture. I peered at him again, hesitantly in the darkness, to double check I hadn't misunderstood or seen what I wanted to see in his black eyes.
But when I looked at him, I knew. He wanted this as much as I did.
Our breathing was laboured as we continued our dance, our lips milliseconds from contact. My heart was beating unnaturally fast. Jacob was everywhere, his body and soul burning into mine.
Suddenly, he spun my body around.
I gasped as my back slammed into his chest forcefully. He wound his arms around me, still swaying against me. From this new angle I leaned the back my head into his collarbone, my neck and cheek much more accessible for him to press his mouth against. His hands explored more of my hips and my waist, dragging the fabric of my dress slightly up as he made his way to my ribcage just below my breasts. Jacob's nose nuzzled against the crook of my jawline and the skin beneath my earlobe. I held onto the side of his neck with one hand to keep him there. I could feel my blood pulsing rapidly to every place his touch lingered.
I pressed my backside firmly against his groin, brushing him with every movement of my erotic dance. He sighed softly, as if he was relieved. Jacob pushed his abdomen hard into me from behind in response to my attempt at seduction. His hands began to wander down again, past my waist to the edge of my dress where my thighs began. Jacobs fingers confidently and firmly caressed the exposed skin there. The shock of this intimate contact overwhelmed me. I hummed appreciatively, trying to egg him on. I was sure he could smell my arousal now, so potent even I found myself distracted by it.
I wanted to kiss him now. I needed to.
I swirled myself around to face him, tugging at his shirt to pull him into me, afraid to lose him. Our chests touched and I held onto his wide strong shoulders as he grasped at my lower back. We weren't dancing anymore. Time stretched between us, fragile but electric as we gazed at each other. We both knew what was inevitably going to happen. We were going to kiss. Our eyes flickered to one another's mouths before settling back to stare into each other's eyes again. I could feel the longing reaching out of his dark orbs, sucking me in. Both of our hearts thrummed unbearably fast like the wings of a hummingbirds.
I titled my head, briefly letting my tongue swipe against my lips, while straining on my tippy toes to close the distance between us. I felt as though I was stood upon a large cliff of anticipation and was about to fling myself over.
"Jake!" Quil yelled through the crowd.
Jacob spun his head towards the sound of his name. Dammit, I was so close to having everything I wanted. Damn you Quil, I snarled in my head. Jacob's arms immediately dropped from my body, his face still turned and he took a step back. Without a second thought or glance, he disappeared into the dark sea of people. The fairytale had been cut short. I wasn't going to kiss my prince.
I stood there alone and pathetic. The loss of his presence settled onto my chest like a dull weight. I couldn't speak, breathe or move. The ache of being rejected and unchosen grew stronger with every passing second. I threw my arms around my chest to hold myself together, to keep myself in one piece.
"Nessie!" I heard Quil yell.
I let numbness take its place, protecting me from the pain. With a deep breath I forced my body to walk back to my friends.
But I faltered before I could reach them.
I ran.
I ran as fast as I could home. The sound of my footsteps echoed in the empty streets as I tried to outrun the twisting pain in my chest.
Tears blurred my vision but I couldn't stop to wipe them away. If I stopped, it would all catch up to me again. The sharp edges of rejection, the feeling of unworthiness, the guilt. All of it would crash into me if I didn't keep moving.
The only thing I could see was the path ahead, dark and endless. Nothing else mattered but getting home.
Chapter 9: DEAR FAIRY-GODMOTHER, PLEASE MAKE THE HOT WEREWOLF MAN KISS ME.
Chapter Text
————————————————————
Songs:
The Kiss, Howard Shore
The Wind, Cat Stevens/Yusuf
————————————————————
Some things are not meant to be faced before morning coffee. And I don't even like coffee.
The aftermath of last night - prom - was one of those things.
The sting of the rejection wasn't new to me and although I felt fragile, I knew I could keep going. Maybe still, I should be lucky to have had a very human experience - a crap prom night.
Jacob had drunkenly stumbled his way home late last night, many hours after I had cried myself to sleep again. Over him. He didn't need to know or see the battle I fought within myself. I was glad he didn't come racing after me. Perhaps he hadn't even noticed I had disappeared home. It was better this way. I let myself linger on the good parts of last night, the most painful ones. Jacob and I dancing, grinding intimately against one another, the feeling of his warm full lips pressed against my neck, his firm grip pulling me tighter but not tight enough, his seductive growl, his eyes.
Gah, I need to stop torturing myself.
As I lay in bed, time stretching out endlessly in front of me, I remembered a poem I had read with Mom once -
Dreams half-formed linger, near. A delicate haze of hope and fear. Yet still I lie, adrift, confined, while time unwinds inside my mind.
My alarm clock ticked monotonously, its rhythm a cruel countdown to the inevitable. I would have to leave my room eventually.
Sighing in defeat, I begrudgingly had a shower and got changed. I wore low rise, black mom-jeans and a tight black crop top that exposed most of my hips and stomach. My gleaming pale skin a shocking contrast to the clothing. Although I never felt cold and the weather wasn't particularly overcast, I felt my nipples react automatically to the fresh morning air. I couldn't be bothered with a bra. Brushing my tight auburn curls out and splashing my face with cold water, I felt as ready as I could be to face the day.
The faint clatter of tools echoed through the stillness of the morning, the noise drifting from the garage. Jacob must be working on one of the cars. I grabbed a glass of orange juice for him, half-listening to the rhythmic scrape of a wrench against metal like a quiet heartbeat. Humans get hungover and perhaps he'd find the drink refreshing. Before I stepped outside, I imagined what he'd look like. He'd probably be shirtless while bent over the hood, a streak of grease along his arm, his hot breath clouding the air slightly.
As I quietly approached the garage I heard a muffled curse that slipped through the walls, followed by a loud thunk of a tool being thrown against the ground in frustration. I smiled faintly.
I peered my head around the opening of the garage door and knocked gently on the flimsy makeshift wall. My imagination was right but it lacked the ability to encapsulate the true magnificent aura of Jacob Black.
There he was in all his glory - stood at the hood of the Rabbit. As per usual, he was shirtless and in jeans. His muscles flexed and shifted under his russet skin as he leaned foward with steady and confident hands, to tighten a bolt. The faint smell of oil, grease and pine clung to him, mingling with the musky smell of the garage. His hair was braided into one tight, thick plat at the nape of his neck. His hands were black and smudged with grease but he didn't seem to notice - or care.
I cleared my throat as I approached closer to him.
He turned his head, his eyes warm and inviting as they met mine. He scanned over my appearance quickly with an approving look. Then, I swear, he blushed beautifully under his dark skin.
"Mornin'" he said huskily.
"Orange juice?" I asked pathetically as I offered the glass to him.
"Thanks," he smiled brightly and took an enormous chug of the drink before getting back to his work.
"Wasn't sure if you get hangovers or not."
Jacob laughed," Not really. Or not as bad as they could be at least. Take a seat, you can entertain me." He nodded to the dusty, once blue and now faded grey, double seated couch placed against the wall of the garage.
I tucked a curl behind my ear and plopped myself down into the seat.
"Did you drink?" he asked.
"Nah. Not sure what would happen if I did."
"All hell might break loose," he joked.
"You know it," I murmured. Gulping, I asked nervously, while twiddling with a loose thread of the couches armrest," So, do you remember much from last night? You were pretty drunk, hey?"
Jake didn't look at me and instead concentrated hard at the task in hand. I watched him roll his lips once, the side of his mouth twitching as his brows furrowed into a dark hardened line. "Yeah, I remember. I hope I didn't cross any boundaries or make you uncomfortable. If I wasn't already a cocky ass, drunk me is even worse."
He stopped all motions and looked at me with pleading and worried eyes.
"No, you didn't do anything wrong. You're funny when you're drunk. It was fun," I half lied.
He gave me small smile, content with my answer even though we were tiptoeing around the subject matter.
"Did you have fun?" I questioned.
He snorted," Course, I had fun. Dancing with you was... really nice." He seemed almost shy. That was very un-Jacob like.
"Nice?" I chuckled.
Rolling his eyes he replied," Yeah. Nice. And hot too."
I felt myself turn colour. There was the Jacob I had come to know. "Yeah, too bad Quil had to butt in."
"He wanted to show us this new dance move that Claire had shown him. He almost took his own eye out doing it. You missed out. You took off pretty quick, I couldn't find you. I was worried."
"Yeah, sorry about that. I was tired."
"Claire told me not to follow you. I wanted to - to go after you. Just so you know."
Touched by his confession I replied earnestly," Thank you, Jake."
My next question sat heavy on my tongue, refusing to form. My heart began thudding against my ribcage. I opened my mouth to speak and then closed it again. Thoughts swirling in my mind of how to proceed.
Jacob took notice and chuckled once," Spit it out."
I rolled my eyes at him, crossed my arms over my chest defiantly and began to blush furiously. Again.
The air felt thick as I asked looking down at the ground," You were going to kiss me right? Because I know you like me. And not like a friend anymore. It wasn't just because you were drunk. You wanted to but you turned away anyway."
He hummed in agreement to my answer. There was another loud clunking sound as he professionally winded another bolt. What am I supposed to do with that kind of answer? Why is he being so nonchalant and avoidant about all this? Who are we kidding here, we obviously both like each other much more than we should.
I huffed in annoyance at him and kicked the gravel once underneath my feet.
Jacob sighed in defeat and stood up from the Rabbit to come sit by me. Our sides brushing against each other to fit his enormous frame next to mine on the small worn out couch. Electric sparks flying at even the slightest amount of contact. He kept his black, oil-ridden hands in his lap, dirtying his dark blue jeans. While his closeness made my heart feel whole, it also sent a shooting flicker of anticipation and anxiety through my body.
Looking down at the ground as well, Jacob finally answered," Yes. Both drunk and sober me wants to kiss you. I really like you and obviously more than a friend now. But we can't, okay. I was acting like a teenager, I should've had more self control. Another one of my many faults."
I peered at him shocked but his eyes didn't meet mine. He slung one large arm around the headrest of the couch behind me, not touching me but, even still, I could feel the warmth radiate against the back of my neck.
"Well. I didn't get to lose my virginity like a normal girl at her prom night. A kiss might've sufficed," I joked to break the tension. Well, mostly joking anyway.
Jacob laughed big and boisterously, his head tilting back from the force. I had to laugh with him then. After a short while our laughter settled into smiles.
"Maybe on your birthday then?" Jake jested back at me. I slapped his arm, giggling, while I rested my head against his bicep. His long arm came to rest upon my shoulders, cradling me to him. I felt safe here.
"Deal."
"No, come on honey."
"Surely, just one tiny kiss can't hurt?" I pleaded. It couldn't hurt that much, right? The world wouldn't end. Right?
"That feels like a bad idea. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you or something."
"Yeah, right. It might be the other way around, buddy."
"Buddy? Well, I definitely can't kiss you now."
"Ha-ha. Yes, you can. I want you to. You want to. No one has to know. I can keep a secret."
"It's not about keeping it a secret. That's mean. It's about - it's about - well. It's wrong and complicated." I ignored the unintentional insult.
"Okay. That's fine with me. I don't care if it's wrong. You're the bestest friend I've ever had. It can't be that wrong then, can it? Maybe it'll be so shit that then this feeling between us will dissipate?" Jacob's brow arched at my answer.
"Maybe, just one then? To satisfy the... urge. But that's it. Just one," he rambled trying to convince himself. I nodded fervently. I can't believe he was actually considering my offer after all these months.
Jacob's breathing became laboured, his heart racing. I watched the resolve appear on his handsome face as he dampened his bottom lip with a flash of his pink tongue.
The heat between us was alight and burning, no searing, into my soul. Even the world seemed to hold its breath. His black, loving eyes bore into mine with such a bold intensity it made me shiver. His large hand came out to brush a curl behind my ear before finding its way to my cheek, fitting perfectly in his soft palm. He tilted my face towards his. Jake's eyes searched mine with a question unspoken but understood. My lips parted, my dark blush spread from my face to my chest, as I waited for him to close the distance. Our heartbeats echoed in unison, every thrum louder than the last.
Time perceived to slow.
Jacob leaned down closer to my face, both our heads turned to one another as we sat on the uncomfortable couch. I could feel his hot breath against my skin, tingling. For a fleeting second - everything around me disappeared- nothing existed but the gravitational pull drawing us closer together. I watched him close his eyes before I mirrored his action as he inched his way closer to me. I felt as though I had begun to burn alive.
Our lips met.
Soft, gentle and incredibly sweet.
It felt like the entire universe had paused to watch us. His full lips lingered on mine, tentative, like the first rays of sunshine breaking through the storm. Just as he broke away his mouth swiped against mine again, peppering me with warm and very slow satin kisses. Two, three, four times more.
My hands found the back of his neck and his warmth grounded me to the earth. He placed his other hand against the broad of my back. Slowly, I deepened the kiss, carrying the weight of every longing glance and every moment I had held back. Our kiss was now tender and steady, every instance of contact prolonged but becoming more and more powerful. I moaned quietly in ecstasy which seemed to ripen Jacob's hunger for me even more. He pushed his lips more confidently and enthusiastically to mine, his previous self control now wavering. He began opening his mouth more, an invitation for our tongues to meet. I suddenly gasped for air as I moved my body eagerly onto my knees to gain more access to Jacob, to the kiss. I needed more and fast.
That's when he pulled us apart, breaking the spell.
When we looked into each others eyes in wonder and confusion, it wasn't fireworks I felt, but thunder. It was raw, natural and pure. It filled within me the spaces I didn't know were empty.
Jacob rested his forehead against mine, shutting his eyes in content as he breathed heavily through his nose. Both of us were completely breathless.
Jake was right, this was wrong - wrong in the sense that this feeling between us would become unchanging and unforgettable. Even though the kiss was brief and did not represent the true fierceness of my feelings, it was everything and more.
"That was-"
"Awesome!" I interjected joyously.
Jacob pulled away from me more and chuckled warmly. He grabbed a rag from the couch and began wiping at my cheek," Sorry, I got grease all over your face."
He bit down on his bottom lip hard, his face suddenly very serious. "I don't think that helped our situation."
My lips stretched into a straight line," No. No, it didn't. Sorry. It's not my fault you're a good kisser."
He smiled big at me," So are you. I thought you were supposed to be inexperienced in this area?"
"I said I was a virgin, not a saint."
"Ah," was all he said, but he seemed un-phased whether I was experienced or not. Jacob scratched the back of his neck nervously as he kept his gaze to the ground.
"You're thinking too hard," I said.
"Probably."
"Stop thinking, just feel."
His lips twitched into another small smile," Hey, that's my line. I am feeling. There's just a lot on the line you know."
"What do you mean? Because you could imprint?"
"Well, there's that. And your Mom and Dad are vampires. I used to be best friends with Bella. I'm mostly human now. And - and - you'll probably be leaving soon anyway. It's almost been six months."
I looked back down to the ground as well. "Is that what you meant after the bonfire? You know, I'm my own person and a grown adult. It shouldn't matter who my parents or what my parents are. If they do come back, why would I have to leave?"
"You'd stay?" he asked bewildered.
"I would if you'd want me to. Doubt Mom and Dad would mind. It would be nice to see Grandpa more. We could stay close but far enough away it wouldn't affect the tribe. But you're right about one thing. The imprint situation is tricky. But that's a lot to think about much further down the line, no? Can't we just enjoy each other's company?"
"I don't have the kind of time you do. I'm
not immortal remember. I have to think about these things."
"Right, course. Maybe, you could phase now and see? See if I'm your imprint?!"
"Nessie. That would add another three to five years to my already prolonged life if you're not my imprint. I'd have to restart all over again, that's hard and painful. And then what would we do? And besides, I don't like the thought of suddenly becoming puppy love struck and having no control over what I want anymore."
"What are you talking about?"
"Imprinting. Sure, the whole love-at-first-sight thing sounds cool but in reality it's kind of a bit scary. Sam, Quil, Jared, Paul ... they have no free will anymore. Everything is about their imprint, their whole beings revolve around them. Don't get me wrong, they've never been happier. But I think I'd just prefer to fall in love the old fashioned way first at least. Being tied to a complete stranger so definitely seems wrong and terrifying."
I shuffled in the chair, feeling overwhelmed and defeated. "How about a fling then?"
"I don't think I can do flings."
He was right. This was never going to work. "What do you want then?"
"I don't know," he sighed as he rested his head against the wall behind the couch on which we sat, shutting his eyes. When he lifted his head to look at me straight on, he grabbed a lock of my curls that hung at my waist and twisted it around his finger. His face was sad with his bottom lip jutting out, his eyes glistening. "I do want you though," he stated firmly.
"I'm yours."
He let go of the lock of my hair and hunched over to place his face into his hands, his elbows balancing on his knees. I fought the urge to comfort him physically.
"This is fucked up," he murmured.
"Yeah, really messed up. Maybe we should do something fun to make us feel better?" I asked trying to cheer him up. I was using the same tactic as he had used with me the last time I found myself in a whirlpool of depression. This was obviously as devastating for him as it was for me. I found a strange comfort in that.
"Like what?" he asked, his words muffled by his big hands that still covered his face.
"Swimming!" I exclaimed.
Jacob started to chuckle and released himself from his own confines to peer at me under his long thick lashes. His face blackened from the oil stains on his hands. He gave me a sad smile. "Sure, sure. We can go to La Push Beach if you wanna swim."
"Jake, you got grease all over yourself too," I complained and threw the dirty rag back at him while giggling.
And off we went to La Push beach to literally drown out our sorrows.
The Pacific stretched endlessly around us, the grey sky beautifully melancholy. The salty breeze danced through the towering evergreens, the air crisp and tinged with the scent of rain and damp driftwood. The waves of the beach crashed against the rocky, ash-grey shoreline. Jagged sea stacks rose and fell like ancient sentinels from the surf, their dark silhouettes blurred by the spray.
We walked barefoot along the cold pebbled sand, each step crunching quietly amongst the roar of the tide and cry of seagulls.
I was thankful it was too cold for humans to go swimming today as we must have looked even more out of place in our swimwear. I wore a one piece black bathing suit, and Jacob wore his board shorts.
As I reached the edge of the water Jacob grabbed my hand. I spun my head around in surprise. We both stood teetering at the line between solid ground and infinite water.
"What? I can't hold your hand?" he asked defensively. So much for his ability to keep our relationship at the friendship level, I thought smugly.
"You can hold my hand whenever you want," I whispered back.
Grinning he asked," Hey, why don't vampires get invited to parties?"
Rolling my eyes and dipping my big toe into the dark blue water I replied," Why?"
"Cause they're a pain in the neck!" he chortled.
I laughed back," You're a pain in my neck sometimes."
Jacob feigned sadness and pretend to sniffle," Ouch. You've wounded me. You know what would make me feel better?"
"What?"
"This!" He grabbed me by the waist and hoisted me up over the water, dangling my body over the crashing waves. I began protesting loudly but half heartedly, my escaped giggles and grin betraying me.
"Don't you dare, Jacob Black! That water is freezing!" I yelled and squirmed in his arms. While I could easily overpower him, he'd probably drop me in, so I decided it wasn't worth the risk.
"Oh, I dare all right," he shot back, wading into the icy sea.
The water rushed up around us and Jacob began his overly dramatic countdown," Three. Two. One!"
He hurled me into surf, my body hit the water with a spectacular splash. Completely immersed in the bitingly cold water, I quickly emerged from sheer adrenaline, shocked from the temperature, my hair sticking to my face.
Laughter spilled out of Jacob uncontrollably. He gripped his stomach and I could see tears beginning to swell in his eyes.
Eventhough I was laughing too, I threatened him, my grin widening. "You are so going to pay for that."
Jacob stopped still as he looked at me hesitantly, almost sizing me up for the challenge. Neither of us moved a muscle or ushered a single word. It was a stand off.
With vampiric speed I pulled his arm causing him to lose his footing and crash into the waves around us. I laughed waiting for him to emerge, feeling satisfied with my revenge. But after a few long seconds, when he didn't come up, panic started to settle into my heart.
Suddenly, Jacob jumped out of the water scaring me.
"RAWWW!" he yelled grabbing me by my waist.
I screamed, flying backwards but his hold on me kept me in place. He drew me closer to his chest laughing and I slapped his shoulder. Our bubbly giggles slowly turned into little hiccups.
Jacob bear hugged me, both of our abnormally high body temperatures keeping us warm from the freezing cold ocean. Our heat created wisps of steam that curled upwards like ghostly tendrils, rising in delicate spirals that dissipated into nothing. We were so similar despite being almost different species.
I rested my head against his chest feeling utterly at peace. My mind began to wander back to this morning in the shed. The feeling of Jacob's lips against mine. While the whole experience lasted maybe two minutes it was the most intense and life-changing moment I had ever had. I compared it to that time I made out with Brad Holmes and he grabbed my boob - a disturbingly boring and joyless memory. How different it was to be with Jake. How much I wanted him, needed him. He had become such a pivotal and important person in my life now. I loved him dearly.
Jacob gently pulled away still supporting my body by bowing me against him, his large hot hand pressed against my exposed back. His eyes darted back and forth between mine. I couldn't quite read his expression. His other hand brushed my long, wet hair behind one of my shoulders.
"Are you going to kiss me again?" I asked sweetly.
Jacob gave me a lopsided smile, slightly sheepish. "Probably."
"When?"
His eyes lingered on my mouth when he replied," Can I kiss you now?"
"Please," I murmured while slightly distracted by how incredibly tempting and sexy he looked wet from the waves, the steam making him even more enticing. I wonder if this is what he looked like in the shower?
Jacob leaned down and gave me a gentle peck, his eyes fluttering as he pulled away from me.
I frowned, displeased. I didn't want sweet and chivalrous.
I placed my hand upon his cheek and used my gift to show him what I wanted. I showed him - us engaging in a hot and powerful kiss, his hands grabbing me everywhere they could reach, his tongue against mine, him holding me tightly to his body, us breathless in the moment.
With a wild gasp, Jacob began kissing me - really kissing me.
His warm, earnest lips met mine hotly. He lifted me up so that my legs wrapped around his upper waist, giving me more access and ability to move freely into the kiss instead of having to strain my neck. I felt my abdomen throb at the feeling of being so close, skin on skin. Lightning bolts of carnality rushed through my veins. I hugged him tightly with my thighs as an attempt to gain more friction to ease the growing sensation between my legs. Lust built rapidly to an earth shattering high within me.
My arms wrapped around his neck and pulled against his thick hair passionately. He growled and kissed me harder in response, sending another shooting spark of desire through me. His hands were everywhere just like I wanted. They were at my waist, the skin of my thighs, my back, the nape of neck, then gripping my hair tightly at the roots in a way that hurt so good. I moaned and submitted completely to his power over me.
Our tongues met at first hesitantly but quickly adapted to each other's needs. His hot wet mouth was more addictive than my innate desire for blood. I scraped his bottom lip between my teeth gently, worried to hurt him. I was still stronger than him when he was in human form. Jacob groaned deeply at my action, making me whimper. His sexual appetite intertwined within my own. His happiness was now my happiness. Jacob gripped the fold between where my bent thighs and hips began, fondling the skin there. His dominating touch caused every cell in my body to scream at me for more.
Jacob began open mouth kissing me down the side of my jaw, down to the hollow of my neck making me shiver. I bent my head backwards letting my hair fall behind me and groaned louder, my chest heaving, my nipples hardening. The throbbing became almost unbearable.
Not stopping his loving kisses along my neck, Jacob murmured," We gotta stop now."
"No," I demanded.
He moved back upwards to my mouth and gave me three languid and slow kisses before pulling away. I grabbed his face determinedly and brought his mouth back to mine. I could feel him smiling into the kiss.
"We. Have. To. Stop," he said trying to catch his breath between each attack from my lips.
I hummed in annoyance and reluctantly stopped my tirade. He chuckled lowly, happy with my reaction for not wanting our kiss to end.
He gave me one last gentle peck before placing me back down into the icy cold ocean.
We smiled at each other, our eyes meeting, and for a moment neither of us moved or spoke. We were caught in the fragile stillness of the aftermath of our embrace. The only sound was that of the beach and our heavy breathing. Jacob's lips were still swollen and tinged pinker than usual from the warmth of our kiss. My pulse thundered in my ears. He looked so beautiful, like he was made for me and brought to life from a dream.
It seemed that even after our serious conversation back at the garage, this feeling between us wasn't going to be broken or ignored so easily.
"You didn't even try for second base," I joked in a slightly complaining voice.
Jacob smiled his most Jacob-smile, grinning from ear to ear. The white flash of his teeth still made me gasp in awe every time I saw it.
"I thought about it," he replied gruffly. My heart rate accelerated again.
Jacob had moved his hands over the front of his shorts. I arched a brow at first confused as to why he had manoeuvred into such an odd pose. Realisation hit me and I blushed furiously from both embarrassment and elation. I had turned him on.
I brushed a wet curl behind my ear and struggled to keep eye contact. I'm sure my blush darkened impossibly. I bit down on my lip as a million fantasies flashed through my mind like an eager child flicking through pages of a picture book.
Jacob raised both his brows at me smirking, "Sorry."
I had a strong feeling he wasn't that sorry and was getting a kick out of my reaction. "Don't be. It's ... hot. I like that I can make you feel that way."
"You do, all the time. And by the way, that power of yours can be dangerous you know. I almost couldn't keep myself together." I make him feel like that all the time?
Smiling I replied," I'll remember that for later."
"Dear God, please save me from this gorgeous woman. I think she plans on murdering me," he said closing his eyes, putting his hands together and pretending to pray.
I laughed at his jest but felt slightly disappointed that his erection had obviously deflated now and I wouldn't be able to catch a quick glimpse. I would have liked to add it to my Rated R collection of images I had imagined in my head of him.
Silently as we walked back along the beach, I began planning a few things to change that.
I needed my cherry popped ASAP, as Claire would've said.
Chapter 10: JEANS ARE THE EPITOME OF A ‘COCK-BLOCKER’.
Chapter Text
——————————————————————-
Songs:
Friends, Band of Skulls
Love is Love, Pt. 2, Quantum Tangle
——————————————————————-
"Are we there yet?" I whined.
I pressed my forehead in boredom against the cool glass of the passenger window seat, letting the hum of the engine vibrate through my skull.
Jacob and I were driving out to Port Angeles to see Leah Clearwater. Jake seemed a little bit nervous and hesitant about finally introducing me - I had heard many a tale about her brazen behaviour. And to top it off, she did not like my family one bit. But she was like a sister to Jacob and whoever loved Jacob, I would love them too. From what I knew about her already, I found Leah to be both incredibly fascinating and tragic. Her story was very Shakespeare-esque to me.
"Almost. Just gotta stop and refuel real quick," Jacob replied.
It had become almost impossible this last week to keep our hands off each other as we explored our new found relationship. I hadn't quite come up with a good label for us yet. Maybe friends-with-benefits would be the closest terminology. But I hadn't reaped many benefits. Yet. Alas, we had not moved passed the PG-13 stage but boy did I have plans to.
Jacob rolled the car safely onto the emergency dirt side track off the highway. The monotonous road stretched outward for miles and miles. A flock of birds rose above from the forrest, their dark shapes looked like spilled ink against the pale blue sky.
I watched Jacob refill the tank with his fuel drum he kept stored in the trunk from my side mirror. Always organised; yet another reason to add to the never ending list of how perfect this man was.
We accidentally wore almost-matching outfits today. I almost made him change. But I decided it was kind of cute. He wore dark blue jeans and a forest green and chestnut brown long sleeve checkered button up shirt. I wore washed out tiny blue jean shorts, a brown tank top and a matching oversized checkered long sleeve button up.
I sighed and slumped lower into the seat, counting the seconds until he was back by my side.
Finally, Jake very coolly entered the car and started up the engine but not before flashing me a pearly white smile first.
Oh god, I crooned to myself. The way he sat nonchalantly, his thighs wide open almost as if they were inviting - no begging me to sit upon his lap. One long outstretched arm lay behind me on the car seat and his other large hand gripped the steering wheel. Such small and irrelevant details, a normal scenario, and yet here I was, feeling an irresistible pull of desire towards him.
"What are you staring at?" he asked smugly. We were still stationary in the car waiting for the engine to warm up again.
"Nothin'. Just want some gum," I said trying my best to sound as casual as possible.
Devilishly, I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned over Jacob's lap to grab some of his peppermint gum from his side of the car accessory pocket. I made sure to arch my back as seductively as possible to show off my curves. I was positive from this angle he could see a bit of flesh from my behind peaking out of my shorts. I reached over slowly and pretended to search for the gum for a few seconds longer than necessary, just to make sure he could get a good look of the goods he was missing out on.
I heard Jacob groan very softly with want as he waited for me to return to my seat. I felt my blood heat and my nipples constrict in response.
"Oh! Found it. It was right in front of me all along," I said in a high pitch voice, feigning innocence.
"Sure, sure", Jacob practically grunted the words.
I moved back into my seat, popping one of the small white bricks of gum into my mouth and began to chew loudly. I grinned mischievously at Jacob.
He smiled back lazily, not taking his eyes away from mine while rubbing his jaw as if he was thinking very hard about something. His eyes had darkened, his pupils dilated. He looked so tempting and ... sexy. It felt like a silly adjective to use to describe him but Jacob Black was absolutely downright sexy.
"Cat got your tongue?" I joked, feeling very high and mighty. I loved to tease him this way.
"Ha-ha. Actually, there was something wrong with the fuel hatch. Can you grab the screwdriver from the backseat for me. Took box should be on the ground."
What a strange request?
"Oh, no problem." I leaned down between our two front seats and searched the back. I couldn't see anything but blankets back there.
"Jake, I think you left your toolbox at home. I can't see it."
"Yeah, yeah just keep looking. It should be on the floor, just reach down a little more."
I huffed in annoyance. He was wrong. There isn't a damn thing back here. I turned my head around to scold him and demand he looked for it himself.
Realisation of what Jacob was getting me to do sunk in as I saw him staring intently at the rear view mirror to watch me lean over. Quite literally, he was getting an amazing view of my rear in the mirror.
I smacked my lips and rolled my eyes before slumping back into my seat. I felt like a fool. A very turned-on fool. I felt butterflies swarm my stomach as I thought about Jacob enjoying my body, knowing he was attracted to me. A fresh, red blush adorned my cheeks. I felt dizzy with excitement at how brash and confident he was becoming now that we had passed the line of platonic friendship.
"There's no tool box back there, is there?"
"Nope," he chuckled and gave me wink. "Thanks for the show. Now all I need is dinner and I'll be as happy as can be."
"You're so welcome," I slapped his arm affectionately, liking that he was just as playful and flirtatious to me as I was to him.
"Can I have some gum too?" he asked sweetly.
"Oh, sorry. Last piece."
Jacob pouted," Aw. Can we share?"
"Ew, Jake!"
"What? It's not like we haven't swapped spit before," he joked while wiggling his eyebrows at me.
Giggling, I went to grab the piece of gum from my mouth to hand to him. Jacob stopped me midway.
"Nah, nah. Don't touch it with your grubby little fingers. Come here," he directed me, cocking his head.
Oh.
Blushing even more fiercely now, I scooted over hesitantly to him.
He patted his large thigh, an invitation for me to sit upon him. My heart rate accelerated at the thought of the position. Eagerly, I threw my legs over his and stationed myself perfectly into his lap while gripping his wide strong shoulders for balance.
The feeling of my thighs and core being spread and located above his abdomen like this, even though we were separated by clothing, sent shivers of relief and hot desire through me. Nevertheless, I could feel the heat of our unnaturally high body temperatures radiating through our clothes.
I gulped audibly as I peered shyly at Jacob. Our faces only two inches apart. His deep brown orbs, shadowed by his thick black brows devoured me. Despite having kissed him more than a dozen times now, it always felt as nerve wracking and riveting as the first. I watched him briefly suck at his bottom lip, his teeth scraping against his own skin there, his eyes now permanently glued to my mouth as he waited in anticipation for my next move.
"What are you waiting for?" he asked huskily, his voice so low I could barely hear. His deep baritone bass always scratched an itch deep inside me; addictive in the need for relief. Jacob's warm hands cupped either side of my face, spurring on my blush.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and leaned in.
His soft and supple lips found mine easily and feverishly. We had become accustomed to each other's mouths and sunk into a familiar pattern. I wrapped my hands around his neck tugging at his loose hair by the nape of his neck, forcing him closer to me. Jacob moved his hands down from my face, torturously slow, to the arch of my back. He found the exposed skin of where my top and shorts met, dipping his fingers into my waistband ever so slightly. The feel of his hands on my skin, the crushing of our chests together as we embraced, made my heart flutter and I subconsciously gripped him tighter.
Our lips moulded and moved together in passionate excitement. Jacob usually took the lead in our kisses, but not after a brief fight on my part for domination. He would always win; I couldn't help but melt into his control. I enjoyed it this way and he did too.
Eventually, our tongues met and I took this opportunity to sneakily merge the gum into his mouth, not forgetting the original reason for our little predicament.
Jacob chuckled lowly into my mouth, the vibrations of his chest rumbling against mine. He pulled back and began chewing the peppermint gum loudly as his grinned triumphantly at me.
"Thanks," he laughed.
"Anytime," I whispered, angry at myself for ruining our embrace for a quick jest.
Jake grabbed the gum from his mouth and threw it absentmindedly out the window.
I sat there comfortably and increasingly more and more aroused with every second in his lap. My arms were still wound around his neck, holding myself against him. I fidgeted slightly, causing our abdomens to rub lightly against one another. I wished jeans had a bit more give to them, so I could really feel him underneath me. I stayed there gazing into his eyes. It didn't feel awkward, it felt natural being here with him. Even if we weren't saying a word. As easy as breathing.
I let my mind - now stuck in the gutter - start to wander. Fantasies and thoughts played out in excruciating detail.
What if I unzipped his jeans to find his hard, warm cock straining against his black underwear - aching to be touched. What if I slid down his body, taking his pants off with me to unleash his erection from its confines. Licking up his solid, twitching flesh and placing him into my mouth. I wondered what he would taste like? How he would moan? What would his penis look like? A beautiful russet colour like the rest of him or a shade darker?
The real Jacob - not the one I was imagining - gasped hoarsely. His lips parted and his eyes were at first wide with shock but quickly darkened with lust within a second. He blinked slowly at me, his heart rate accelerated rapidly causing his breathing to become heavy; almost panting. I felt his hands grip harder at my hips as an automatic response to whatever had startled him. I stared at him puzzled.
"Was that you?" he whispered, his hot minty breath tickling me.
"Was what me?" I asked self consciously.
Oh, no. He saw. I must have accidentally used my gift to show him - to show him ...
I curled my hands into fists at his neck to stop me from embarrassing myself further. This was absolutely mortifying. What would he think of me? I cringed slightly, shutting my eyes and looking away but not daring to move from our position. I couldn't will myself to move. Shame the colour of scarlet tinged my cheeks.
"I'm sorry. How much did you see?" I managed to say quietly, my voice breaking.
"That was..."
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to." I felt the hot wells of tears beginning to form.
Suddenly, Jacob lunged at me. His hands twisted at the roots of my hair, pulling me into another ardent and fiery kiss.
His lips were everywhere, both demanding and loving in equal measure. Jacob grunted into my mouth as he grabbed one of my thighs to pull our lower bodies closer together. His forcefulness caused me to lean back slightly from his lustful attack. But I pushed myself into him harder still, making sure to keep up with this newfound pace and to ensure our chests never parted from one another's touch. This was the kind of beautiful agony I had been yearning for.
Once he was certain I wouldn't move, he untangled his other hand from my hair and clutched my behind. His other hand followed suit very quickly. Cupping my buttocks, he kneaded and grappled fervently like an emancipated man who had stumbled across an oasis in a desert.
His lips were unforgiving and both of us were gasping between every touch. But our tongues moved languidly and softly caressed each other's. After a few minutes, he moved his mouth down along my jaw, nipping along the way, down again to the hollow of my neck. I sighed loudly, gulping another breath of air, and tilted my head to allow him more access.
Suddenly, one of Jacob's hot hands sprung up to rest upon my rib cage, mere centimetres from my boob. I had never been so thankful for not wearing a bra. Slowly, as though asking for silent permission, he swiped a thumb against the underside of my bust. It was so gentle, under any other circumstance I might not have noticed, but here like this, with my body in overdrive and acutely sensitive, it sent a shockwave of electricity through me. I placed my hand over his, the size difference mildly concerning, and coaxed him to pursue his torturous path to my breast. Finally, his hand cupped me over my shirt, my flesh giving way easily under his confident grab. Both of us groaned in relief. I fit perfectly in his grasp, like I was made to be putty in his hands. My nipples hardened at his touch, straining for attention as he continued to fondle and envelope my body.
Jacob made a strange and guttural sound from deep within his throat that almost sounded like he was in agonisingly good pain. He released my breast to fondle the softness of my thigh instead. If I wasn't so blindly turned on, I would have been more upset by the loss of Jacob's caresses on such an intimate part of my body.
Even through the hazy lust that clouded my brain, I took this moment to do some exploring of my own. I held his head encouragingly against my neck and ventured my other hand down his torso. The feeling of his rippling muscles made me weak. I found the edge of his shirt and tentatively allowed myself to slip underneath. I was met with his wonderfully soft but hard abdomen and I reached up further to place my hand against his pectoral; pulling his shirt up with my ascent. Jacob shivered while he hummed approvingly and bit down lightly at my jugular causing me to shriek with excitement.
Overwhelmed with longing and spurred on by the throbbing between my legs, I felt a surge of confidence fill me. Removing my hand from his shirt, I grabbed his chin, forcing him away from my neck to look upon me. Before he could understand what was happening I turned his head to the side ever so slightly and began peppering my own kisses against the thick veins of his throat. Jacob gasped wildly and moaned so lowly it was if he was almost purring. While the smell of his blood was appealing, my minds sole focus was on his pleasure.
"That was ... before ... when you showed me. That was the hottest thing I have ever seen. Or felt," Jacob panted, struggling to get his words out coherently as I licked my way up to his ear, catching his lobe between my teeth.
"Yeah?" I hummed against him.
Jacob cupped my face with his hands, so big they almost engulfed me entirely, and placed a sweet but still passionate kiss upon my swollen lips. I felt a twinge of sadness knowing that this was as far as we would go today.
"Yeah," he stated gruffly. We smiled at each other bashfully.
Releasing our hold we quietly peeled away from one another's bodies and took our respective seats once again in the car.
"I thought you'd think I was a freaky pervert or something," I chuckled nervously.
"No way," he stated incredulously. "That was awesome. If you thought those kind of thoughts were sinful I'd hate for you to see in my head."
Rolling my eyes I said back," Dad says you have a beautiful mind. Very open and inviting."
"Sure, sure. I like your mind, you've got good ideas."
"Ha-ha. Thanks, I guess. Maybe we could try out my idea sometime."
"I could most likely, probably, definitely be conned into trying out your fantasy. Sometime."
"Good. Because I always get my way, you know."
Chuckling, Jacob added," And to answer your question - my dick tastes like heaven and yes it's a shade darker than the rest of me."
Oh, my god. I squeezed my thighs together in hopes of subduing the aching sensation between my legs. I couldn't believe he just said that. I bit down on my lip hard and stared forward out the window, too cowardly to look at him.
From my peripheral vision, I watched Jacob readjust his erection in his jeans. This made me smirk and then silently curse whoever made jeans - they were a literal cock-block. I had still to finally get a proper glimpse of his package down there, even through clothing. This annoyed me greatly.
Finally, we had arrived at Leah's apartment in Port Angeles.
I suddenly felt a pang of nervousness as we waited at her door. I ignored the urge to grab Jake's hand for comfort. I doubt Leah would like to see the half-monster engaging in PDA with her longtime werewolf companion. I wasn't even sure if Jacob had said anything to her about our blossoming romance either. Best to keep it quiet for now, I decided.
The door busted open and I was greeted by a tall, captivatingly beautiful woman. I was instantly jealous of her appearance, a direct contrast to my own.
"So this is the little monster Bella died to protect and threw my best friend under the coals for," she sneered while crossing her arms in contempt. Her brows knitting together accusingly as she stared daggers into my soul.
Yeah, this is not going well already, I thought glumly.
"Hi, Leah. Lovely to meet you. I'm Nessie. Thank you for helping save my life and my family's." I attempted a small smile as a gesture of gratitude to ease the burning tension.
Leah huffed and stalked back inside.
"Hey, to you too Leah," Jacob sighed at her direction. He looked at me apologetically and I just shrugged at him un-phased.
Leah's apartment was cozy and modest, nestled into a quiet corner of Port Angeles. Despite its small size, it exuded warmth and personality. It offered a blend of contemporary life and deep cultural connection to the land of her roots with decorations of Native American artwork.
"We brought some of your Mom's homemade bannock," said Jacob.
"Thanks." Silence.
"Give it up Leah. Be nice for like five minutes, please. I came all this way to see you - you're one of my best friends. You promised you were gonna be good. Stop being grouchy, it's reminding me of the old you," he groaned.
"You're one to talk. Hanging out with another one of Charlie's relatives."
Jacob grunted in annoyance and rubbed the back of his head. "Seriously? We've already been through this. You're gonna make a scene now?"
"Well, I changed my mind. And it's my house," she growled back.
I felt horribly uncomfortable and guilty being here. I should never have come. This wasn't fair on any of them.
"Fine. We're going then. Come on, Ness," Jake snapped and grabbed me by the elbow to drag me out the door.
"No, no. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come. I'll just go wait in the car, Jake. You stay here with Leah," I pleaded trying to pull away.
"No, please. I'm sorry, too. Please don't go," Leah whispered ashamed. "You know how I feel about bloodsuck- I mean the Cullen's."
Jacob sighed again and turned around from the doorway. He crossed his arms and stared at Leah intensely. His brows furrowed in quiet anger.
"You said you'd be nice. If I stay, she stays too," he demanded.
"Fine. But I don't have any blood for her to suck on."
"I can eat human food," I replied softly.
We all began setting the table for a feast, each one of us had cooked our own meals for us to share. The room was hushed, save for the gentle clink of plates and rustle of foil or napkins. We all moved in silent synchronicity and the table grew fuller until it seemed less like a table and more like a promise of togetherness. I prayed the next hour would go a lot smoother than the last ten minutes. Maybe, we could even enjoy ourselves. Hopefully.
Feeling a bit awkward, I tried to strike up a conversation.
"Your Mom has been a great help to me these past six months, Leah. She's one of the strongest and kindest people I've met. I'm very thankful for her."
"Yeah, she's a pot of gold."
"Do you get to see her much now that you live here?"
"Not as much as she'd like. But she has Seth and Charlie to keep her entertained. I feel much more comfortable out here than living at home in Forks," she replied her expression still guarded.
"You don't miss being a wolf?"
"Sometimes on the rare occasion, I guess. I miss the speed and responsibility. I was Jacob's beta you know? And I was a damn good one too. But I want a family for my own and, to me, Forks feels cursed now. I can't go back."
"I understand. Although, I have to disagree, I love Forks. But yes, I would like a family too. I'm not sure it's on the cards for me though," I sighed.
"Can you have children? If you don't mind me asking?" she asked gently, a complete contrast to the usual sharpness of her tone.
"I don't mind. I'm not sure if I can. Seems extremely unlikely. Funny enough, my best chance would be to procreate with a werewolf," I laughed short and uncomfortably. I quickly glanced at Jacob and averted my eyes when his met mine, causing me to blush. I was glad Leah didn't see, too busy picking at her food.
"Oh. That's weird. I would've thought it would be the opposite since we're mortal enemies and all. But I understand you. I was so certain I would never have kids after I phased. Thankfully, my body is mostly back in working order. Who knows, maybe we both will have some little brats one day."
"I would like that, someday. I'm sure you will. But, hey, I guess you're one of a kind too - like me. Being the only known female to be a shapeshifter is kind of awesome. You'll be in all the Quileute myths and legends!" I exclaimed. I enjoyed being surrounded by others like me, human but not. Somewhere in the middle. They understood me on a deeper level that my mother and father couldn't.
"Ew. No thanks. The freaky wolf-girl is not what I want to be remembered as."
"You're not freaky."
"Neither are you. Strangely."
"Thanks, sort of. I'm glad you're happier now. You deserve it. Jake's told me all about you and how much you helped him."
"Thanks. Jake's a real softy. But he wouldn't have been so down in the dumps if it weren't for your coven. But you're annoyingly nice, you know. You're not like them really. Not like your Mom. She's a bitch," Leah snickered. Her nice-guy demeanour suddenly dissipated. And we were just starting to make progress too, I thought sadly.
Jacob slammed his fork down aggressively onto the table, making it shake uneasily.
Before Jacob could begin his next sentence, which I assumed would be combative and unhelpful, I quickly began," She's not a bitch. But sometimes yes, she can occasionally be one. She's my best friend, an adoring mother and a very caring person. I'm just sorry you never got to see that side of her. Of course, we can all agree the way she treated Jake and unintentionally affected the tribe was unacceptable. But she was just eighteen."
This pulled Leah up short. Jacob smiled smugly, pleased at my calm confidence and resolve. I wasn't going to let Leah get to me. I was getting tired of apologising on my families behalf however.
"I guess you're right. Sort of. You're not accountable for your families actions. Sorry for being a bitch," she apologised.
"Nothing new there," Jacob whispered under his breath. I shoved his side with my elbow.
As we sat down to eat, the conversation began to flow more easily as we conversed about lighter and happier topics. The sting of Leah's words now a weak ache.
"So Leah, I heard through the grape vine you've met someone," Jacob said with his mouth still full of bread. He wiggled his eyebrows tauntingly at her and I stifled my laugh.
Leah rolled her eyes. "Billy and Charlie gossip like old ladies sometimes. I have sort of being seeing someone but nothing official yet. He's from the Makah rez. Nice guy."
"What's his name? Give up the goods, I want to know."
"I'm not giving up anything until I'm more certain. His name is Chase."
"Well, if you guys do become official, bring him down to our rez. He can meet the guys," Jacob smiled teasingly. I guess it would be incredibly intimidating to meet ten overgrown and powerful looking men. Maybe even emasculating if Chase wasn't confident in his own skin and fondness of Leah.
"Yeah, that'll scare him off forever. No way."
We all laughed lightheartedly.
"So what's the deal with you? How long you staying with Jake?" Leah asked, diverting her gaze to me while taking a quick swig of her drink.
"Uh. I'm not actually sure. The original plan was for me to stay for six months but looks like it's going to be longer now," I murmured. I didn't like to think too hard about my family afraid it would reopen the gaping hole of fear and longing.
"If you get bored of Jake, you can come stay here with me."
This kindness shocked me. I even saw Jacob rise his eyebrows from the corner of my eye.
"Oh, thank you! But I'm not bored of him. Yet," I said, a small cheeky smile tugging at the corner of my lips. Jacob smiled brightly at me, his eyes sparkling with delight at my words.
Leah's eyes narrowed and sharpened with suspicion at us.
I had dearly hoped she wouldn't pick up on our stolen glances, buzzing nervous energy, or the way Jacob would lean in whenever I spoke, or the way I laughed too quickly - too happily - at any joke from his lips. I thought we had been subtle but perhaps I was dead wrong. I hoped she wouldn't say anything.
I looked away from her curious eyes and focused on finishing my meal. Jacob must have noticed as well and he quickly rushed us out of Leah's apartment after feigning being so full that he was about to pass out any second. We thanked Leah for her hospitality but it was only her and Jake who embraced in a goodbye hug and made plans of organising another get together. I wasn't invited. Although, Leah and I had made progress from foe - on her part anyway - to acquaintance. And, she had offered to house me here, that must be something.
Sighing as we reached the car, Jacob said," She's actually an amazing person. Sorry about all that. She had promised to be good. I thought it would be nice for you to meet her, 'cause she's really important to me. Maybe, it wasn't the best idea. But I take my hat off to you, honey. You survived Leah!"
I had. I had survived Leah. Although, a part of me really enjoyed her gutsy attitude. She was one hell of a strong and independent woman. If I was a child, I probably would've have idolised her in some ways.
She was a badass.
Chapter 11: AND I WAS JUST STARTING TO HAVE FUN.
Chapter Text
———————————————————————-
Songs:
All I Believe In, Magic Numbers
Una Mattina, Ludovico Einaudi
———————————————————————-
"Jake?" I asked while placing Mom's old copy of Wuthering Heights down.
Jacob had his head nestled in between my legs as we lay horizontally on the couch in his makeshift garage. If I wasn't so at ease and delightfully comfortable, having Jake's head in my lap would have made my insides do somersaults. But this place was our safe haven; the place of our first kiss; a place of refuge. The splatter of rain tapped lightly against the tin roof above us and all I could feel was content.
"Yeah, honey?" Jacob answered, peering up at me under his thick midnight lashes.
We, or rather Jacob, had needed a mini break from working on Paul's new car as a favour to his sister - and what could be more relaxing than an embrace from a lover? I had also recently learned how much Jake liked his hair being played with, which he now demanded any chance he could get, and putting his head in my lap left me with no choice but to oblige as I read my book. 'Sides, he looked so darn cute from this angle. And he felt good too. His head was heavy and gave solace, like a warm heated blanket on a winters night.
"I've decided something," I said with confidence.
Jacob raised a thick, shaggy brow at me; a small smile tugging at the edge of his lip. "And what's that, loca?"
"I'm going to study to become a vet," I announced, smiling wide.
Jacob barked a laugh, chortling so hard that tears sprung from his eyes and dripped down his chin. He held onto one of my legs as the eruption escaped his lips. Unable to stop myself, I joined in too, thinking about the undertones of my decision. The half vampire girl who was in love with an ex-werewolf wanted to become a vet. Ironic. Jacob's happiness was now my own and it was futile to not give in to my or his feelings, to the point where it almost seemed painful if I tried. I wiped away my own tears of joy, hiccuping as I stifled my laugh with my sleeve. We would intermittently begin giggling again when one of us made strange eye contact after a brief moment of silence as we attempted to calm ourselves down. Eventually, we both caught our breath and could speak coherently again.
"Uh-huh. Well, I don't mind being your guiniepig," he joked while placing a hand on his heart like a boy-scout," I promise I'll be the best well behaved, god-damn dog you've ever seen. But most importantly the biggest." Jake winked at me, still grinning.
I rolled my eyes," I can't wait. I'm going to hold you to that you know. Hell, who knows, you might even like being out on a leash. There's a lot of training needed to be my guiniepig. But you are right, bigger in this case is better - less likely for me to make a mistake during an operation for example. There's just one teeny problem." I tugged at the roots of his hair jokingly.
Jacob rolled onto his stomach sweeping his arms up under my thighs and placing his hands on my waist, his chin rested against my pelvic bone. A hint of a rosy blush tinted his cheeks at this new position and I felt both the tingly sensation in my nether regions beginning to prickle alive and my heart beat accelerate rapidly. I swallowed and tried my best to ignore the suggestive arrangement our bodies were in.
"And what's that?" he asked.
"You're not a werewolf anymore. Therefore, no guiniepig of mine," I said pouting.
Jacob snorted, the vibration bouncing near my core, and said," Patience is a virtue you know - maybe I'll change my mind and try out being on four legs again. I do like the sound of being put on a leash; it's a tempting offer. And it's in my nature to help others." He gave me his most Jacob-y smile.
"Mm-hmm. Oh puh-lease, there's no way on God's green earth you'd actually let me put you on a lead. Even as a joke. Right?"
Jacob shrugged, his gaze averted mine and he began tracing small circles on my rib cage. "Right?" I questioned again.
Jacob turned his head to the side, smushing his right cheek against my body so only half his face was visible to me, and flashed me an another cheeky grin," Sure, sure."
My mouth popped open. "Jacob Black! You sly dog." I felt my cheeks begin to heat.
"Hey, watch it with the dog jokes. I'm a sensitive soul."
"Pfff. I'll stop once you stop it with the monster and vampire jokes. Equality remember? And that one was actually an accident I swear."
"You're too quick even for yourself." He laughed close-mouthed, deep and guttural, so low it sounded more like a rumble. Jacob closed his eyes, his head still turned to lay against my pelvis, and took a deep breath in through his nose, followed by a long sigh of contentment.
"You're trying to distract me," I whispered as I stroked his beautiful satin hair out of his eyes.
"No," he murmured as he moved his hands down from my waist to wrap around my thighs,"now I'm trying to distract you."
His thumbs brushed languidly against the covered flesh of my inner thighs. Jacob's eyes popped open, dark and mischievous, his black orbs dilated. He seemed almost drunk-like.
Then, while still maintaining eye-contact, Jacob placed a gentle but sultry kiss at the zipper of my jeans, his large hands moved to constrict against me where my thighs met my hips. The heat from his lips and fingers penetrated through the fabric, but even still I cursed at the fact of my ill-decision to wear Levi's, again, instead of something more accessible. I gasped at his bold expression and locked my thighs around his neck, my muscles flexing as a reflex to relieve the sudden jolt of passion that surged through my veins. But my involuntary response had made matters worse - the view of Jacob right now between my legs was almost identical to one of my most vivid fantasies. Jacob lapping at my bundle of nerves, holding my body down as I fought the urge to thrash out from ecstasy.
The shadows or light rain from outside flickered on the walls of the shed as our breaths intertwined. Jake's fingertips traced lazy patterns along my legs in a slow, unhurried exploration.
He began moving his body up towards me, like a predator stalking his prey, and tortuously slow he placed open mouthed kisses over the top of my clothing, working his way up and up. A gentle kiss at my navel, another at my sternum, and one lingering kiss at the top of my left breast. He made his way to the curve of my shoulder, shifting his weight above me, and pressed his teasing and warm lips to the centre of my fluttering pulse. I wound my hands into his hair, gripping on tightly to help steady myself. A sigh escaped my lips as he ascended and my toes curled. Every one of his kisses were of reverence and worship but most of all leisured passion.
His mammoth frame pinned me into the cushions of the couch but still it wasn't enough - I needed to be closer to him. I opened my legs wider for him to nestle in between, our abdomens pressed firmly against each other, and I could feel his chest heaving against mine.
In a moment of bold conviction, I used my power to show Jacob how much I need his lips on mine. Like a drug - no - like air. He was much too good for me; nothing like a drug. Jake gave me a tentative smile, his eyes only partly open and he briefly nudged his nose to my cheek before cupping my face in his monstrous hands. Then leaned down to kiss me again for the hundredth time in my life.
As our lips touched and we explored each other's mouths, Jacob caressed down either side of my arms, encircling my wrists in his grasp. Although, physically, I was stronger than him in his human form, my body automatically submitted as he lifted my hands above my head to rest against the couch's arm-rest. I revelled in how much I enjoyed feeling his eager and wild hold over me. He seized both my wrists with one hand as he moved his other to the hem of my shirt.
I began to tremble and kissed him more ardently and more in tune with my rapid heart beat. I slid my tongue along his bottom lip before nipping at his swollen flesh. Jacob met my feverish passion with equally as strong a reaction - he bit down hard on my own lip, pulling it between his teeth before moving his attack to my jugular. He scraped his teeth along my skin there, and if I wasn't half-vampire he would have sure made marks. I felt flustered and completely within his control and I couldn't help but gasp as he dragged his teeth along my neck. Simultaneously, I felt his hand creep up under my shirt - skin to skin. Just how I like it. Just how I need it, I moaned but only in my mind. Jacob always, somehow, just knew exactly what it was I needed.
"Jacob, please," I panted, squeezing my eyes shut and arching my body into his. His hand around my wrists tightened at my words.
Jacob groaned, similar to a low purr, against the hollow of my neck and placed a small kiss. Soft but strong and steady hands made its way up towards the swell of my breast - no longer slow but greedy. My breath hitched and every cell felt as if it were close to combustion. He must have as much patience as I do, I thought to myself smugly.
I wiggled in his grasp and shoved my abdomen into his, my body pleading to feel his thick, pulsing erection. I felt my core become wet and ready itself in response to his. The smell of my own auroral permeated the air, heavy and intoxicating - but I was too far gone to feel embarrassment.
Finally, his fingers found the swell of my breast. Kneading and touching. Thank god I wasn't wearing a bra, I thought. We stayed like this for a few minutes - Jacob massaging and moulding his hand against my bosom, while we engaged in hot and fervent kisses, grinding and rubbing against each other.
Until, he did something I did not expect.
In one fluid motion he exposed my right breast, the cool air causing it to pucker and constrict, aching to be touched more. Then I felt his warm, supple mouth on my cold pink bud. I moaned so loud it echoed off the walls that not even the rain of the Pacific Northwest could drown out my ecstasy.
Just as I thought I was going to faint from euphoria, the sound of Jacob's ringtone startled us from our paradise.
Jacob growled in annoyance, yanking my shirt back down and tearing himself away from me. The unexpected sensation of losing his touch tugged at my heart strings and for a second I thought I couldn't breathe.
He stalked over to the small wooden table that stored his mechanical belongings and snatching his phone from the table-top. He turns to face me but does not make eye contact as he stares down at the gadget.
Eventhough, he's not looking at me I can see him burning with an intensity I've never seen before - sharp and crackling with a fury that makes the air feel charged. His jaw is tight, his shoulders tense. Jacob looked dangerous - it was both unsettling but also undeniably magnetic about it. I could practically see the heat of his body radiating off of him. Why am I so turned on right now? I thought to myself. Maybe, there really is something wrong with me.
Jacob answered the phone gruff and passive aggressive, one large hand on his hip. Still, he would not look at me. He was frowning so hard it had become hard to discern where the inner section of his brows began or ended. I took the moment to sit up and shake myself from the daze he had put me in.
"Yeah, like we said yesterday we'll be there," Jacob huffed. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, Charlie... okay Charlie... see you soon."
Jacob hit the end button on his phone so hard I could hear it bend and shriek from the shear force.
"Jake?" I asked hesitantly.
Jacob had his eyes focused on the floor and was breathing heavy but steady - like inhaling and exhaling was the only thing he could think about. His wiry muscles tensed and would shiver, no, tremble so quick it was as if he was beginning to vibrate. The room only seemed to get hotter and hotter.
"Jake?" I asked again but more gentle, like a mother coaxing a child. I somehow knew it my soul this was not the moment to push him. "Jake, are you okay?"
This type of reaction was so out of the ordinary that I didn't have time to ponder but only respond to his strange reaction.
Jacob swallowed thickly, his adam's apple bobbing up and then down, his fiery gaze still locked on the floor. Licking his lips he answered," I'm sorry. I - this hasn't happened to me in a long time. I just suddenly feel so angry I could phase right now."
"Phase? Jake. I don't understand." I shuffled to end of the couch.
"It's been happening a bit recently. But I don't know why. Sometimes it's out of no where when I'm not even upset about something."
"Why haven't you told me?" I grumbled but quickly tried to soften my pitch mid sentence when I realised I shouldn't aggravate him and accidentally cause him to shift.
"I don't know. I thought I was just being stupid - or jealous."
"That is stupid - feeling jealous I mean. You're the only man I have ever or could ever feel so strongly for," I murmured.
Jacob's breathing became more natural," Yeah, me too."
"You like men?" I attempted a joke. All I got was a small smile from him.
"I feel out of control. Like my body is willing me to phase but I don't know why. There aren't any vampires. And it has nothing to do with you or I would have felt like this when I first saw you - and the rest of the pack too."
"When was the last time this happened to you?"
"The other day at the store. Some dickhead was checking you out and then all I could see was red. That's why I waited outside for you. I needed an escape plan to get away if I did end up phasing. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you," he said gritting his teeth.
"Aw, Jake. It'll be okay. Maybe, it's just because you're hanging out with the supernatural again? But not in a threat way just a belonging kind of way?"
Jacob hummed in agreement. Admittedly, there was something very amorous about his protective side. Albeit extremely unnecessary and backwards - but even still, I couldn't help but feel a tiny bit smug.
Jake's powerful, black eyes lifted from the ground and landed on me," I can't lose you. I need you."
"I need you too, my Jacob."
He whispered something back in Quileute that I did not understand.
I couldn't help but grin at him. Angry Jacob or non-angry Jacob, I still loved him. Secretly, I found angry Jacob to be incredibly attractive. But this new knowledge did worry me - what could it mean?
Trying to distract him I asked," So was that Grandpa reminding us for the millionth time about lunch this afternoon?" I already heard the entire conversation with my sensitive hearing but that was beside the point.
"Yeah," he chuckled once. His frame had stopped its trembling and he seemed to have relaxed back into his old Jacob-self.
"He's just excited to have his most of his family all together. There hasn't been a Cullen and Clearwater reunion in almost a decade," I reminded him.
"Ha! Does this even count? Only one measly Cullen?"
"Hey!" I complained, "Is one not enough?"
"One is definitely enough for me. Good thing you're my favourite Cullen." My heart soared and I was happy he didn't say my Mom was his favourite.
I raised an eyebrow at him," Not Auntie Rose?"
Jacob made a gagging noise before asking,"Blondie?!"
I giggled once," The very one."
Bewildered he asked," Please tell me she's not your favourite Cullen?"
Trying not to laugh at his bulging eyes and glad he'd overcome the little issue from before, I replied, pretending to think," Well, she was very doting."
"Yuck. She would have been glad to see Bella die and have you all to yourself you know? She's no angel."
I huffed," Yes, I've heard. Still, she's in my top five. Besides my Mom and Dad, Grandma Esme is probably my favourite. Although Uncle Emmet makes me laugh the most."
"Yeah, I liked them too - kind of," he murmured.
"Who's your favourite pack member?"
"Good question. I was lucky my two best friends phased with me - Quil and Embry. Leah and I are like brother and sister. And Seth is... well Seth is just so great. Who's yours?"
"Claire!" I exclaimed.
"Nah, she doesn't really count. Ex or existing werewolves only," Jake laughed.
"Fine. I guess... Seth is great... but maybe Embry? Jared and Quil are fun but I think I connect more with Embry."
"Who's your favourite person, like, in general?" Jacob asked, his head cocking to the side.
Smiling, I replied," Do you even have to ask?"
"You're my favourite person too."
I reached my hand out towards him and he immediately came to me, our fingers interlocking. As soon as we reconnected I could breathe again, I felt whole, and I could tell that so did he.
All was quickly forgotten as we made our way to Grandpa's. Grandpa Charlie had gotten into a little tizzy because this was the first time that myself, Leah and Seth would be in one room together with him and Sue. They were his family now too and I assumed this was like one big reunion he'd been waiting on. Sue was her same confident and laid back self. Grandpa and Sue were in the kitchen while the rest of us sat in the lounge room.
"Hey, Nessie!" Seth exclaimed as we embraced in beat hug. From my peripheral vision I could see Jake frowning - I hoped we wouldn't have a repeat of earlier this morning.
"Hey, Seth. It's been weeks, where have you been?"
"Sorry, college shmollege has been up my butt lately," he joked.
"A youth degree is hard work but I know you'll be perfect at it once you're finished," I encouraged.
"Thanks, Ness. That means a lot. So you and Jake are getting cozy, huh?" Seth wiggled his eyebrows playfully at me. I watched Leah roll her eyes.
Cheeks red I replied," Yeah, life is funny. And even more funny with Jake."
Jacob chuckled deeply and slung his arm over my shoulders as he placed his lips against the side of my hair.
"He's a real crack up," Leah added but without any bitterness this time. I felt relieved we were past that stage. "I knew you two were banging the moment you stepped through my door two weeks ago."
"Shut it Leah," Jake joked and turned his attention back to Seth. "Kid, you promised you were gonna come by for dinner the other day and then ditched us. What's all that about?" Jake complained to Seth.
Leah started giggling.
"Nothing. I told you. College," Seth replied defensively.
I bit my lips to stop myself from smiling at him. Jacob puckered up," Oh. I see. You ditched us for a guy?"
Leah started to make kissy-faces at her brother and Jacob joined in. I covered my mouth to stifle a laugh, I didn't want to embarrass poor Seth more than he already was - he was too kind a soul to antagonise. I slapped Jake's chest playfully to get him to stop.
"Alright, alright. Enough. Yes, I may or may not be seeing someone. Stop it," Seth said rolling his eyes. "Hey, why don't you ask Leah about her new boyfriend."
"Don't you dare change the subject to me, kiddo," Leah threatened.
"Well, I think it's lovely that you both have found someone," I announced.
"Don't say it too loud, we don't want Mom to hear," Leah hushed me, a gentle smile playing at her lips.
"Oh, sorry!" I said.
I turned around to see if Grandpa and Sue were making their way in with the food (not that Grandpa Charlie ever helped cook).
Seth's voice turned light and tentative,"Have you heard from your family recently?"
My face fell and I was glad to have Jacob's arm around me to hold me together in one piece. "No. Nothing."
"I'm really sorry," he replied.
"Me too," said Leah.
Jacob nudged the side of my head with his nose.
Seth added," When they do call you, tell them they should stop by my place! I'd love to see Edward, and Bella, again. Edward makes the best pastries I've ever had. I still dream of his cooking sometimes."
I appreciated him trying to lighten the mood again. "Yeah, Dad's a pretty good cook. I think they'd love to see you again, Seth."
"You always did have a hard on for old Eddie," I heard Leah whisper under her breath.
Leah then shot Jacob a strange look that I didn't understand. I peered up at Jake to see his full lips stretched into a line. I elbowed him in the ribs and raised an eyebrow. He gave me his signature smile, momentarily dazzling me.
"As long as your family stays off tribal land and away from our people, they are most welcome to be here," Jacob said.
"I know," I said looking down. Sometimes I wish my family and I were normal - I hated being an outcast. But I understood why they couldn't be near the tribe. It just sucks, I thought. No pun intended.
"Mi casa es su casa," Seth sung, completely ignoring the tension radiating off his sister and my Jacob.
"Surf's up!" Grandpa exclaimed loudly and we all hurled into the kitchen to fight over scraps of homemade food. I wasn't even hungry, I just enjoyed the camaraderie and playfulness of it all. It felt like a true family dynamic.
Our family of six gathered around Grandpa's old flimsy dining table that Mom said had been sparsely used since Sue's arrival. Sue made sure we all got our favourite portions while serving the dishes. Between bites we all shared stories about our week from school mishaps to funny moments at work. Embry and Dakota had just had their first child who they named Skyler; a beautiful healthy baby girl. When Jacob had shared the news I could see the relief in his face that it wasn't a boy. We would go and see the little bundle of joy next week. I played with the idea of 'Uncle Jay and Auntie Ren' but quickly shut that thought down.
Half way through lunch Jacob had been called into work on his day off. I dropped him off and then went back to the house - I was so stuffed from eating I desperately needed a nap.
Our past laughter still clung to the air of our home, warm and golden, and the remnants of a perfect afternoon were scattered all around me - empty coffee mugs, Jacob's small unfinished wooden figurine on the table, music sheets and the soft hum of the TV. The house had become ours, my Jacob's and my own. There were no rules here, no expectations, just the unspoken love of two people. This had truly become my home now. With Jacob. I longed for the day when we both confess our feelings and commit to the eminent future ahead of us.
Then, the phone rang.
It's sharp sound cut through the magic of the day like a blade. I leapt up, my heart pounding in my throat from anticipation, worry and excitement. It was Mom and Dad. Finally. With a quick breath and vampiric speed I answered the phone.
"Mom? Dad" I croaked, biting what was left of my fingernails.
"My little nudger! My love, my Renesmee! We're almost at Forks. Meet us at our old home, do you still know where it is?" Mom cheered.
"Mom! Dad! Oh my gosh, Mom!" I cried, but my voice turned sour," You haven't called in ages. I've been waiting. Why didn't you call?"
Dad answered instead," I'm so sorry my dear, it had not been safe until this moment."
My brain had finally recovered from the shock of their voices that it only now registered what Mom had originally said. "Wait, you're in Forks?"
"Yes," said Mom.
"Wow, you're really back. And yes, yes, I remember where the old Cullen house is. When will you get there?" I picked at my nails excitedly.
"The Cullen house. Gee, Jake must have gotten to you," Mom chuckled.
I replied to her comment with a nervous giggle. With a smile I pressed my face closer to the phone, revelling in the rush of love and safety from my parents. But as I glanced around and was reminded of my Jacob - the scattered papers, the undone plans, the lingering traces of my own new world - I felt something else too. An ache. My time was up.
I should feel completely happy; undiluted and intense happiness. But I didn't. Grief - I also felt grief - that mixed with the feeling of joy. It was so confusing.
"So, when will you be there?" I asked again. It sounded like they were driving in the background.
"In about fifteen minutes sweetheart."
My heart dropped in my stomach. "Oh. Wow. So soon. Okay, well, if I run now I'll probably get there just as you arrive!" My voice was breaking. I should be so happy but I'm not, I thought to myself.
"See you soon, Renesmee! And tell Jacob he's invited too, if he'd like, of course," said Dad.
"Sure, sure," I mumbled and for the first time, it was I who hung up the phone.
Click.
Chapter 12: NOW WHAT?
Chapter Text
————————————————————————
Songs:
Jacob and the Stone, Emile Mosseri
Strangers like me, Phil Collins
————————————————————————
Keep running, I willed myself.
The trees blurred past me in beautiful colours of green, brown and yellow, my heartbeat was steady but my breaths came in desperate gasps. The icy wind blew through my auburn hair, sending a chill up my spine, the scent of pine and rain had become so familiar but the closer I was to the Cullen house the more distant these homely smells were becoming; like a memory just out of reach.
I was almost there. Almost reunited with my family.
But with every step I took foward a shadow of doubt followed behind me. The life I had built here in Forks wasn't something I could just abandon- not anymore. I wasn't like the old Renesmee; sheltered by her parents with limited interaction with the outside world and humans. I was a new version of myself, and I liked her very much. Her name was Nessie now.
Laughter shared with new friends, quiet nights under unfamiliar stars, gentle shared touches with my lover, parties and beach adventures, late night dinner with Grandpa and my new family - I couldn't live without these moments. More importantly and overwhelmingly, Jacob, my love, was my reason for existence on this earth. How could I live without him by my side?
And yet, the pull of my old home dragged me forward. I felt as though I was a small planet being forced to orbit a moon and leave behind my sun.
Through the thinning trees, I saw the Cullen house. My family. My heart lurched. I had dreamed of their perfect faces for more than six months and I longed to hear their sing-song voices again. My pace faltered - would I still be the person they remembered? Would they like the new me? What's going to happen now?
Tears burned in my eyes but I kept running.
The house was a modern architectural marvel; spacious, sleek and bathed in natural light, just as I remembered from the photos I had seen as a child. Despite its size, the house looked warm and inviting - an unusual yet fitting sanctuary for a family of vampires who are as refined as they are otherworldly.
All four cars were parked out the front.
"Renesmee!" I heard my Mom yell before my eyes could adjust to see her moving figure running towards me.
"Mom!" I screamed back, tears flowing from happiness.
All I could feel next was her unnatural, cold embrace against my own warm skin, her arms constricting almost violently around me. I hugged her back just as fierce.
"I missed you so much," she murmured against my unkept hair.
"I missed you, too. All of you," I sniffled, still unable to see clearly through my teary eyes.
Mom pulled back just enough to look at me and I felt her frozen finger brush a lock of hair away from my face. Her eyes were filled with utter joy and relief. My father suddenly appeared from behind Mom and I ran into his arms next. I felt him chuckle lightly as I squished my face hard against his marble chest, shutting my eyes.
"My little Renesmee. Finally, we are all together again," he hummed.
I ripped myself away, gulping hard, my throat tight and dry as I wiped away the tears from my face.
"You're back, you're really back?" I asked, my voice breaking.
"Yes, sweetheart," my parents said in unison. I chuckled in response but it was broken and blubbery.
"And we're never leaving you again," Dad said as he placed a firm hand on my shoulder. For some reason this seemed to fill me with dread rather than happiness. At least Mom was still protecting my thoughts, I guessed as Dad made no reaction to my inner feelings. Mom gave me another quick hug before yanking me inside the house to reunite with everyone else. I was sure Grandma Esme made certain that we got our little reunion before the rest of my family, and I was thankful for her foresight. I could hear Auntie Alice's small frame bouncing up and down with anticipation inside the home.
"Come on, we have so much to tell you," Mom said.
I embraced the rest of my family, each and every one showering me with love and affection, especially Auntie Rose. She was demanding of my attention but I did not mind one bit - I was glad to be doted on. Uncle Jasper looked absolutely radiant; probably feeding off all the high spirits in the room.
"So! Tell me everything!" I ordered.
"It's a long story," Dad said gravely.
I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at him, waiting.
He sighed," I need you to know that it's not over yet. Really, the fight is only just beginning." My heart quickened. "But we have everything in order now. We have a plan."
"And it's going to work," Mom chimed in. Her addition brought about frowns on everyone else's faces - they weren't in agreement with her.
Auntie Alice began," We have gathered our own witnesses against the Volturi's. They are preparing their own army, to destroy us. We're hoping we can show them, truly, that you are no threat."
"Of course I'm not," I muttered under my breath, angry.
"We know that my darling, but the Volturi do not," said Dad. "So, we were going to gather our own witnesses that we have rallied not far from here, in northern Canada, and away from the wolves to keep them safe and out of mind. We don't want to put them in danger, especially from the Voluri after everything they have done for us. Then when the Volturi come for us, we'll be ready."
My heart caught in my throat and I replied desperately, "Please! We cannot bargain the lives of the Quileutes. We have to go far away from here. They have to stay out of this. Please." I was begging now and I felt as though tiny sores were forming on my heart; growing rapidly and threatening to burst.
My father looked at me suspicious but mostly concerned," Yes, my dear. That is what we always intended."
I felt my heart rate decline, my chest no longer heaving. I saw Mom's brows knit together with worry as well. Get yourself together Nessie, I scolded myself.
"Okay, so who are our witnesses as you call them?"
"Friends. And some acquaintances. One or two strangers," Grandpa Carlisle said, his warm smile reassuring me. "Do you remember one of my friends - Alistair - that I told you of?"
"But how will they help? We're not going to have to fight are we? They're not going to have to fight?"
Dad spoke," No, we do want to avoid a fight at all costs. But it's not off the cards. Having our own witnesses may distract and complicate Aro's intentions to slaughter us. Forcing him to listen will give us a chance."
I nodded, unable to open my mouth in fear I would cry or scream or both.
Mom took my hands into hers, saying," Don't worry, love. It will all work out. I know it. Just like I knew when I had you."
"I came with a cost," I murmured.
Mom grimaced, her marble face crinkling to the point I worried it might actually crack. "Not one I wasn't willing to sacrifice."
"Maybe, I'm not like you. Maybe, I'm not willing to sacrifice my own family and strangers lives." I didn't mean to sound so harsh, after all they had given up everything to save me, but I couldn't help the acid that had snuck into my tone.
"Renesmee!" Dad chastised me.
Mom chimed in," That's not your decision anyway. These people, our friends, our family, have agreed to help by their own free will - no one forced them."
I let go of Mom's hands," I'm sorry. I think I'm still in shock, y'know? I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Renesmee," she soothed, her high pitched bell-sounding voice immediately calming me. "Come, sit down."
I plopped myself with force onto the couch, huffing from emotional exhaustion. My family stood around me, like white, marble statues.
Taking a deep breath, I asked," So, what friends? And when are the Volturi coming?"
Dad answered," We have about a month to gather..." he seemed lost in thought before continuing," Lots of friends of Carlisle and the Denali coven. Some are from the Amazon, one from London - Alistair, an Irish coven, Egyptian coven and even Romanian. You'll love them and they'll love you. Trust me. Most of these vampires are ancient and have abilities one can only conjure up in dreams."
I stared at him eager to hear more, my ears tingling. "Like what?"
"Well, one person has the ability to control the elements. And another can manipulate what you see, for example, suddenly make you think you are in the desert when in reality you're in the forest. These are just a few," Dad smirked.
"So this is what you guys have been doing these past six months? Conscripting people?" I semi-joked.
"Pretty much. Which is why we had to keep you safe and away. In case we were caught on our journeys by the Voluturi guard. Demetri was onto us and it was tricky escaping his prowess. We've been trying to train your mother's gift to expand - with some luck as well. She's brilliant." My father looked at my mother with such devotion I almost had to look away.
Auntie Alice interrupted,"It's a good thing the werewolves have some sort of shield against certain gifts like Felix and myself but boy is it annoying for me. I can barely make out the future."
"How's my future looking? Still as blurry as ever?" I wondered.
"Well, actually... you completely disappeared when you got to Forks. Even now, I see nothing," she mumbled, trying to concentrate.
"What was the plan if you guys did get caught?" I asked, suddenly intrigued.
"If we were caught, at least we knew you were in safe hands and somewhere that could be a home," Dad said softly.
If only he knew just how much Forks was my home now.
"And then there are some very new faces we met too. One we know you're going to find fascinating," he smiled wide. "We found a man named Nahuel. He is from South America and his aunt, Huilen, is travelling here with him to help us."
Why would I find him interesting? "That's very nice of them. Why would they do such a thing?" I asked. Everyone's faces lit up with knowledge I did not yet possess.
"He is Half-Immortal - just like you," answered Dad.
What? My jaw became slack with a loud pop as it hung open. I all but stopped breathing. It was though the impossible had stepped from the shadows, revealing itself to me, unravelling the tapestry of my world. I'm not the only one? I thought bewildered. In that moment, the line between reality and legend blurred, leaving me both exhilarated and dumbfounded by the truth. There were others like me out there. I wondered if his mother had survived the birth? Did he love his family as much as I? What was his diet? Was he venomous?
Mom asked, grinning," Well? Is that not the most exiting news?"
I struggled to find my words, tripping over my sentence," I - yes, well, I mean - I mean - I just can't believe it!"
"Neither could I when Alice found him. Nahuel is amazing, very kind and he's one hundred and fifty - and still looks about twenty. We get to keep you for a long long time it seems. He's our most important witness. He's proof that Half-Immortals can live harmoniously in both the human and vampire world," Mom said.
"Are we similar?" I asked, still shocked.
"For the most part yes. The only two things which are different is that he can reproduce more easily and he's venomous," she explained.
"Absolutely fascinating," Grandpa Carlisle muttered excitedly under breath.
"Venomous? How odd. I wonder if it's a male hybrid trait?" I said, thinking out loud.
Grandpa Carlisle answered me immediately," Why, yes. We think it is. He has sisters you see, but he doesn't speak to them often. None of his sisters are venomous."
Wow. There are so many of... me.
Auntie Rosie said enthusiastically," Perhaps this will mean you won't be alone anymore, romantically I mean. Maybe even one day we'll have some grandchildren running around!" She began to laugh but Uncle Emmet nudged her waist that he had one long arm squeezed around.
I didn't like her sentiment. Hated it actually. Loathed might be a better word. Ew. How could they possibly think I would fall in love with some stranger I didn't even know just because we were the same species. Ridiculous.
"Well, if I'm anything like my Mom and Dad, I probably won't go for someone in the same genus as me," I bit back, crossing my arms again with a smirk.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Mom asked, her voice hardened.
I shrugged," Nothing. Just think it's stupid for you guys to play match-maker for me. I can chose my own partner, thanks."
Auntie Rosie sniggered," Renesmee, you know I didn't mean it like that."
"Sure, sure."
I would forgive her eventually.
Mom squinted her eyes at me, her mouth pulling into a straight line. "Enough doom and gloom talk. Renesmee, tell us how you've been. How's Jacob treated you? We hope it hasn't been too upsetting without us here with you."
My pulse quickened and I felt my cheeks redden with betrayal. Stupid human genes, I thought.
"I've been good. Jacob's been good to me," I answered looking away.
Dad gave a light growl," How good?"
I stared at Mom to make sure she hadn't let her gift down or turned traitor by letting my father sift through my thoughts. But I knew her well enough to know that she hadn't and wouldn't do that to me.
"Pretty good. We're friends," I snorted, nonchalant.
"Like mother like daughter," I heard Uncle Emmet whisper under his breath. We all ignored him.
"So he's treated you well? He's been nice?" Mom pestered.
"Yes, Mom. He's been very hospitable, and more than he should be. And so has the pack."
"You met the pack?" Mom asked. Dad and Auntie Rose's face looked horrified.
"Of course, they're Jake's family. And I live with Jake so..."
"Were you safe?" Dad asked. Mom rolled her eyes. I was glad she was on my side at least.
I sighed with annoyance," Yes, Dad. Very safe. See, I'm all in one piece aren't I?" I held out my arms as evidence. "They're my f-friends now too." I wanted to say family.
"I'm relieved," replied my father, his face blank.
I changed the subject," Grandpa Charlie and Sue are really well. I think he's been tickled pink to have me live basically under his roof."
Mom beamed at my words," Oh, that's wonderful. I bet he was ecstatic."
"He's a little chuffed you didn't contact him very much, though," I muttered. I wasn't just talking about Grandpa.
Mom and I said the same sentence at the same time," It wasn't safe."
We giggled and I added," Yes, I know. I just missed you all so much."
Dad wrapped an arm around my shoulders as Mom grabbed one of my hands again. My father stated," Don't worry, we're not going anywhere. We will all leave tomorrow for Canada. That's where we have told everyone to gather."
Canada? I didn't want to leave, I wanted to stay. God, I wanted to stay. Every fibre of my being begged me to stay put, to be in Jacob's arms, and never leave. But I had learned that love wasn't just about holding on - it was also about knowing when to let go. I needed to leave Jacob to save him. To save my new family but risk my other. What a joke my life was, I thought glumly.
I shrugged away from my parent's touch. Wrapping my arms around my chest I glanced out the large, rectangular window, swallowing back a sob. "I have to say goodbye," I croaked.
"We can go say goodbye to Charlie this evening if you like?" Dad queried, gently.
"Yes. And I have to say goodbye to Jacob, too." I could barely speak his name; the sores on my heart began to fester.
Mom wiped something wet from my cheek. I looked at her topaz, tranquil orbs, my eyes watering," Mom. I don't know how to say goodbye to him. I'm not sure I can. He's my best friend."
"Oh, sweetie," she sighed and held me in her unyielding arms.
"He's just a dog. We can always get you a new one," said Auntie Rose as she flipped her golden hair behind her shoulder.
I pulled away from Mom, scared I would accidentally hurt her as pure rage boiled in my veins, so hot I could combust into flames at any moment. I scowled and forced myself to breathe through my nose, attempting to keep my voice even," He's not a dog."
"A puppy. A big mouth with no brain," she continued, absolutely oblivious to my reddened eyes blazing at her.
"Rose," Grandma Esme hushed.
My chest burned. "Don't. Ever. Call. Him. A. Dog. Again," I gritted through my sharp teeth, baring them at her. The urge to rip her apart was frightening.
Auntie Rose blinked, clearly taken aback. "Well, I'm just saying. I didn't realise you two were so close."
"I just said, he's my best friend," I reminded her. "Anyway, weren't you there when Jacob practically saved our lives, including yours, when I was born? Huh?"
She was totally startled by my reaction. She huffed and didn't seem to know what to do - I had never talked to her this way my entire life.
"Right, well. I won't call him a dog again. Unless he does something dog-like and then I will," she replied with wavering confidence.
"Fine," I snapped. This was not how I envisioned seeing my family again. Sadness overwhelmed me and I didn't know what to do with the feeling.
A howl low and trembling, carried across the expanse of the forest.
It wasn't fierce or triumphant - it was something lonelier and broken. The notes wavered, stretching long and mournful, echoing off the trees like a question that would never be answered. No pack member returned the call. And when the final note faded into silence, the forest remained still, offering no comfort.
It was my Jacob. I don't know how I knew, but I did. I felt gravity's tug.
I jumped from the couch to search the forest outside with my eyes. "Jacob," I murmured under my breath.
"Yes," Dad confirmed. "He must be coming this way."
Jacob had phased. And he was upset.
Why? Because of me? Had he thought I left him without goodbye? Was there a fresh vampire trail? Was he in danger? Millions of stinging thoughts buzzed in my brain. I couldn't believe he had actually phased.
"Do you know why? Is he close enough for you to hear him?" I asked my father in a hurry. I twiddled my fingers impatiently.
"Only just. He's at the treaty line debating whether or not to cross."
Mom asked," Renesmee, are you okay? There's something you're not telling us."
I ignored her and focused on my father's expression," Is he okay? Is he in trouble? Why did he phase?"
Dad did not answer me at first and instead left the house to stand on the front lawn to better hear Jacob's far away thoughts. I ran to his side anxiously looking up at him. He faced forward out into the forest, the branches creaked in the wind, but Dad's face remained stoic as he listened.
My breathing hitched," I need to go to him and make sure he's okay!"
Dad grabbed me by my elbow, halting my reserve. "Wait. I need to make sure it's safe. I'm trying to understand why he's coming here in wolf form. Did you tell him we were back?"
"Of course it's safe, it's just Jacob. And no, I didn't tell him! He was at work. Stupid me! He must be worried sick. He probably thinks I'm in danger or left without a goodbye," I blurted out.
"All I can gather is that he's very anxious about your safety. He's going to cross the treaty line."
"I've got to go to him!" I yelled, trying to yank my arm out of Dad's impossible grasp. I felt the unbreakable chains that tied me to Jacob strain and will me to him. Like the tide I had no choice but to follow.
"Edward, let her go," Mom called out softly.
I could hear the heavy padding of Jacob's paws against the earth, graceful but powerful and he was getting closer every second. My heart skipped a beat and I yanked myself from my fathers restraint again and this time I triumphed. I didn't look back.
My heart pounded harder than my feet against the ground beneath me, the sun filtered through the trees, casting long shadows across the wildflowers that brushed against my legs as I ran. The wind tangled my already knotted hair again, my breaths came out in huffs but not from exhaustion... I didn't dare stop - couldn't stop - until I was in Jacob's arms. He needed to know everything was okay. And that I loved him very dearly.
Gravity spurred me on until I could hear his deep panting, strong heartbeat and smell his beautiful pine and musky scent.
Then I saw him across the open field in the middle of the Pacific Northwest forest.
The impressively massive russet-brown wolf moved with quiet power towards me out from the dense evergreen woods. Humongous muscle rippled beneath his thick coat. Jacob Black was like no other pack member I had ever seen - he was a force of nature, a protector, an alpha. He was larger and more terrifying than all the other wolves and he was hands down the most beautiful and magnificent. I longed to feel his thick fur beneath my fingers. The wolf let out a low, rumbling whine; it was not a threat but relief.
We kept running towards each other and at the last second before we made contact, Jacob phased into his human form. He caught me effortlessly mid air, his ripped arms wrapping around me as if they were meant to never let go. His scent of pine and earth clung to him, grounding me, anchoring me. The magical chains that kept us together no longer torturously wrenching me towards my lover because he was here in front of me, where he was supposed to be. I buried my face into his burly chest and listened to the steady thump of his heart.
He felt different somehow - not in a bad way but maybe in a good way? My Jacob felt less human and more supernatural, not that it had ever mattered to me. I don't know how but even in his human form he radiated a much more formidable presence and there was no way I would win in a brawl against him now - now that he wasn't so human and so breakable. Although I looked slender, my vampiric body was indestructible and therefore very heavy.
"I'm sorry! I should have left you a note," I sobbed onto his bare and very warm collarbone, winding my hands up in his satin hair.
"I thought you left me," he murmured, rubbing his cheek against the top of my head.
"Never. I would never just leave like that. I can't believe you phased," I said, fighting back guilty tears.
"Neither can I. It just kind of happened. Quil called and told me he picked up the Cullen's scent nearby and that was it. I was on four legs again making my way here," he explained.
"I'm so sorry," I mumbled, eyes shut.
"Why?" he asked, his voice cracking.
"I know you didn't want to phase." I clung to him harder, even now, still not feeling close enough to him. He tightened his arms around me and I felt more at ease.
"I don't mind so much if it's for you," he replied and I didn't need to see his face to know he was smiling.
I hummed affirmatively before saying," What about the whole imprint thing?"
Jacob took a deep breath through his nose and said," I don't care anymore. I'm willing to risk seeing what happens if you're my imprint or not. Are you?"
Without even thinking I answered," Yes. I don't care either way. Anything to be with you, even just for a while."
"I love you."
Those three simple syllables crashed over me like a tidal wave, stealing the air from my lungs. I could die happy. My heart stumbled as if trying to catch up with the moment, to realise this was real. He told me he loved me. His voice showed no hesitation, no doubt, just unguarded and raw truth.
My chest ached with a strange mix of disbelief and joy that swirled inside me. No one had told me they loved me before - at least not like this; honest, with meaning and with depth.
I tried to pull back to look at him but he kept me steady in his arms instead, unable to look into his eyes.
"No, not yet. I just want to be with you here, now, in the present. I don't want to find out just yet," Jacob murmured. He meant if I was his imprint.
I wanted to reply, to say something, anything, but all I could do was smile before whispering the only words that felt right.
"I love you too, my Jacob."
He gasped and let out a relieved choke, nuzzling his face against my cheek. I closed my eyes and rested my body against him, taking on his suggestion and just letting myself feel. Imprint or not - I was completely and utterly his.
After a while, I heard him swallow thickly. It was time.
"Okay," he whispered into my ear, tickling me.
"Okay," I repeated.
Jacob placed me down gently onto my two feet with a soft thud and cupped my cheeks with his large hands, warming my face. He rested his forehead against mine and kept his eyes closed. I reached up to place my hands over his, enjoying his touch and this moment of intimacy. We stayed like this for a few minutes, listening to each other's rhythmic heartbeats and the mystical world around us.
Jacob placed a sweet and gentle kiss to my forehead before opening his eyes to see me; really see me.
At first it felt like nothing, just another beautiful experience shared between two people in love. But then something shifted.
The air thickened and charged with invisible energy and gravity's pull increased tenfold. When I met his gaze the world tilted. Everything else around us - the rustling trees, the distant voices, the hum of the highway - faded into nothing.
His black eyes held mine and in that instant something unspoken passed between us; something magical. A tether, unseen but unbreakable, snapped into place like a puzzle piece. It wasn't love at first sight, we had already fallen in love naturally, it was deeper and stranger - like the universe itself had chosen our connection. It rewrote the fabric of my reality; this was straight out of a Mid-Summer Night's Dream.
I knew one thing for absolute certainty now: he would never leave me. Without hesitation or question. We were bound together. He was as much as part of my life as the air in my lungs or the pulse in my veins - and vice versa.
Jacob trembled and a shiver ran down my spine. We must have had the same reaction; overwhelmed by the weight of it all. I should be afraid, this was so intense - but somehow I wasn't. I had never felt so safe and loved in my entire existence and I knew I would never find this kind of love ever again.
Because when he looked at me like he was now, like I was the only thing in the entire world that mattered, I almost believed it too.
"Jacob," I gasped.
His beautiful, pearly smile spread across his face like the sunrise," Yeah, Ness?"
"Did you imprint on me?"
Chapter 13: BETWEEN BLOOD AND BOND.
Chapter Text
Songs:
As The World Falls Down, David Bowie
Blackout, Muse
————————————————————————-
"Yeah, Ness, I imprinted on you. You were right, of course," Jacob smirked, cupping my face in his large hands.
"I'm always right," I mumbled. I was Jacob's imprint. He was mine as I was all his.
I crossed my heart and he crossed his back.
"Always the jokester during serious moments," Jacob chuckled at me, still not taking his piercing eyes away from mine. He embraced me again into one of his tight, breathtaking bear-hugs.
There was a light rumbling through the trees.
I could hear many sets of paws gently thumping against the leaf-strewn earth around us.
From the shadowed underbrush, three gigantic wolves emerged - one was a chocolatey brown that I knew to be Quil, next to him was a wolf roughly the same size but with sandy-coloured fur and then a much smaller grey wolf came to stand defensively in front of the 'pack'.
Jacob let me down gently as I stared back at our new onlookers.
"Hey, guys. It's all chill. Seth, Leah? Why'd you phase?" Jacob said, speaking as if they were right in front of us when they were over two-hundred metres away.
The small grey wolf gave a small, sharp growl with a quick nod towards the Cullen house down ways. The wolf's tail whipped side to side. That must be Leah!I thought. Making the sandy-brown wolf behind her Seth.
Jacob cocked his head to the side and then looked to me," Ness, I'm just gonna phase real quick to see what's going on."
I must have had a look of startled worry on my face as he hummed a single sweet laugh at me before caressing my face to say," Don't worry honey, it'll only take a second."
I nodded, still speechless.
Only then did I realise Jacob was stark naked. Is it possible to become a mute from a mix of shock and desire? I thought to myself. For a short moment I was enraged at the thought of others seeing him in this state of undress but it was quickly overshadowed by a sort of gloating feeling. Although his dark copper appendage was indeed flaccid, it was thick and monstrous nonetheless. The skin there looked soft and inviting, the outline of heavy veins could be seen under the hood covering his shaft and tip. He was uncircumcised - all natural. And it was very beautiful. He was beautiful.
Jacob turned away from me and I watched as a long vibrating shiver traveled down his spine until his whole body trembled just before exploding into a new form. A burst of red-brown fur and then there he was - in his wolf body. It was different watching Jacob phase compared to my last memory of two younger wolves exploding into snarls and bushy tails. Again, my fingers itched to run through the soft, wiry fur and my body ached to follow him towards the other wolves.
While I knew they were communicating through their pack-mind connection, it still felt strange to witness them standing in silence with only a sudden flick of a tail, a low growl, ears flattening or a short head nod as proof of conversation occurring between all four members. I started absentmindedly chewing my fingernails awaiting my Jacob's return to me.
With a loud huff, Jake's oversized body, larger than a horse and significantly more muscular, swivelled around elegantly and trotted back to me away from the others; his onyx eyes locked on mine. In one fluid motion his form rippled, fur receded, limbs reshaped, paws softened into fingers, bones realigned without a sound. He was a man once more standing in front of me. Although his eyes were tender I saw a flicker of uneasiness beneath them, his broad lips stretched into a thin line.
I reached out to his arm," What is it my Jacob?"
"They heard my howl so they came as fast as they could, they were worried something had happened. And now that we're here on Cullen territory everyone's a bit on edge."
"I thought the treaty was null?"
"It is. Doesn't change our feelings though."
"Okay. And?" He was leaving something out.
"And we might have a bit of an audience, honey," he said lowly, a small smirk playing on his lips.
An audience? As in the pack?
"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, step away from him right now," my father snarled.
Completely unaware of my approaching family behind us, having been so enthralled and captivated by my love and his pack, it startled me to hear my Dad's melodic voice growling at me.
"Dad, it's okay," I said turning around carefully to face him as I stepped in front Jacob, using my body as a boundary. This action made him more mad.
My father stood at the other edge of the meadow, teeth bared, slightly crouched in posture, his yellow eyes shining with hatred through me towards to the werewolves behind me. I stole a quick glance and Jacob to see his face completely stoic and wearing the mask I had seen long ago from when I had first moved to La Push. His breathing was even and he seemed completely unbothered by Edward, instead he turned his gaze onto me lovingly.
Throwing him a quick smile of relief, I spoke to my father slowly," Dad. Relax. It's just Jacob."
Leah's menacing growl echoed across the ways, automatically causing the hairs on my neck to stand at attention.
"And Leah, Seth and Quil," I added quickly," You know, the people who protected me as a baby and now as an adult. They're my friends."
I heard Seth huff with confirmation but I did not take my eyes off my father. That was when I finally noticed my mother behind his attacking stance. Her face was equally as furious as Dad's.
"Jacob, what have you done? She's my daughter!" Mom shrieked at Jacob, her bell-like voice ringing in my ears; no longer a comfort but annoying.
I put my hands up defensively, trying to calm the situation," Hey, we all need to just take a chill pill, okay. Nothing bad has happened."
Mom's eyes grew wide," Nothing bad?"
"That dog thinks he has some stupid wolfy claim over you," Dad whispered through clenched teeth.
I rolled my eyes," That's definitely not what's happened and you know it. You can read his mind. Remember, you've told me exactly what imprinting is like and you described as a feeling pretty darn close to what you feel for Mom. Go on - tell me I'm wrong."
Dad didn't appreciate my challenging words. "We left her with you for protection, not for you to defile."
That kind of talk was completely uncalled for. What is his goddamn problem? I growled in response," Would you please take five seconds and just listen to the crap you're spouting? You're being ridiculous! Mom? Please?"
I looked at her pleadingly, hoping, praying that at least she - my best friend, the one who had believed in me always - would come to her senses and see reason.
Mom glared at Jacob, defiant, her frosty fists clenched by her sides. "She's mine," she whispered to him.
Jacob shrugged nonchalantly, as is this whole scenario wasn't completely and utterly mortifying. And stupid. "We can share," he smiled.
Dad made a gagging noise," No. Thank you for your help but your service is no longer needed. You never wanted her in the first place. Renesmee, let's go."
"That's not true," Jake snapped. "Maybe at first things were... strained... but as I got to know her I got to fall for her too. Naturally. I love her. Don't you see? It all makes sense now. Bella, the whole thing with you and I - it was only because fate was leading me to her. Nessie and I were always meant to be together. Human or not."
My throat closed and I tried swallowing the lump to stop me from crying from complete happiness as I reached out to Jacob's strong hand. I liked the way our skin contrasted against each other and yet fit so perfectly in one another's grasp.
Mom yelled," Nessie? You named my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?"
Jacob raised his hands in defence, "Hey, now, it's just a nickname. It's cute!" he said, his half-smile fading.
"Really Mom, I actually quite like the nickna-"
The snarling from my mother's mouth caused the hairs on the back of my neck to rise and we all flinched.
Bella spoke," She's not a nickname, Jacob. She's a person. A woman and you're walking around calling her something that sounds like a cartoon character? A monster?"
I murmured lowly to myself, hauling my head back momentarily in annoyance," Why is everyone speaking for me?"
Jacob retorted," It's just easier than calling her 'Renesmee'! 'Renesmee' kind of sounds like she's about to cast a spell or start an opera. 'Nessie' sounds more chill. Like her." He smiled down at me affectionately.
Mom continued to growl," It does not fit her. You don't just rename someone because their full name is inconvenient to you."
Rolling his eyes he said," Relax, Bella. Oops - sorry I guess I should call you Isabella."
"Don't push me, Jacob," she threatened.
It was my turn to be heard, I thought. "I like being called Nessie. Like Jake said, it suits me just fine. And so does Renesmee, okay."
Bella paused. Her glare faltered slightly.
"Fine," she snapped. Dad looked aghast. "But if I hear you call her Nessie in that smug tone one more time, I'll start calling you Jakey."
Jacob replied, deadpan," Low blow, Swan."
I watched as both my mother and my partner in life grin at each other, a minute spark of friendship beginning to rekindle.
Dad finally spoke, eyes locked on Jake," I think you've had too much influence over our daughter for too long, Jacob."
Mom came to our defence, having finally cooled off a bit," I'm furious too, love - but she says she likes the name. We need to trust her." She took my father's pearly white hand in hers, kissing it gently.
Dad whispered," It's not her I don't trust."
"Then maybe that's what needs to change," I argued, taking a step forward. "I love him."
I felt Jacob wrap his deliciously comforting arms around my torso, his hot breath against the top of my head. Wherever he was, I was going to be right beside him. Forever. But I knew in this instance, even if it was just for a few moments, I had to talk to my parents alone.
"Mom, Dad, I'll meet you back at the house. Please," I requested firmly.
I watched my angry parents stride away, shoulders stiff and voices low and sharp with frustration. I could almost feel their disapproval trail behind them like steam. Leah grunted approvingly at their departure. Leaning against my Jacob, staring into his deep-set eyes - glowing like a man who had discovered the sun - I murmured," I just need a few minutes to talk to them alone. They're just stubborn." I placed my hand against his cheek. "I'm sorry about all this."
"S'okay. I'm used to leeches being annoying," he joked and placed a sweet kiss against my forehead.
I looked behind us to see the wolves still lurking in the trees - so still we had forgotten they were there.
My voice was quiet but urgent," Don't go anywhere. Please. I'll be right back."
"Promise?" Jacob whispered, crossing his heart.
I smiled before a frown found its way onto my lips. Jake leaned down to kiss it away with a gentle peck, while stroking my hair.
"I don't want to go," I said, ignoring our audience again.
"I don't want you to go either, but I'll be right here. They're not mad at you, honey. This one's all me."
"That's almost more upsetting. I wish they were mad at me instead of you," I grumbled, turning away, feeling the tug of gravity try and drag my back to my love.
As I entered the Cullen house, making my way to the spacious living room where my family was gathered, tension hung in the air like a thundercloud. Mom and Dad would have already given the others a run down if none of them took the time to eavesdrop. I took my place in the centre, standing as if making a grand speech, my expression calm but resolute.
I spoke softly but clearly," I know this isn't easy. You've all been away, protecting me, missing me and our family unit because things have changed. I know how strange it must feel - how sudden it might seem. But it's not sudden to me. I have lived with Jacob for almost seven months now and he's been with my every step of the way through my grief and loneliness. He's protected me against all odds and instinct. And over time it changed - I changed. I love him. And he loves me. Most ardently."
There was a beat of stunned silence. Auntie Rose's jaw tightened.
"This is insane. You can't expect us to be happy about this - it's not normal. He imprinted on you ... like some biological claim," she said.
I replied firmly," I am not a child anymore. You all should be more understanding of what it means to be shaped by a strange life. I didn't ask for this but I am choosing him. This isn't about the imprint. This is about me - about what I want and who I love."
Mom looked pained, glancing between myself and Rosalie. Dad's face was unreadable.
My father sighed. "In some odd way, it all makes some sense now. I hate to say it but Jacob was right." Confused, Dad answered all of our question. "Before and when you were born, your mother did say that she always felt Jacob was supposed to be in her-our-lives."
Mom nodded, her mouth stretched into a thin line. "I never thought of adding him as a son-in-law into the equation, though."
I met my Mom's eyes, there was hurt there but also strength.
"Please, I need you all with me. But I won't apologise for loving him. And you must be upset with him, he's done nothing wrong except be persistently perfect," I said.
Dad walked over to me, placing a hard hand on my shoulder. Mom followed, wrapping her cool arms around us both.
Dad spoke," I may never particularly like the idea, but I trust you. I apologise for overreacting. And I know Jacob's heart is true."
Mom whispered," If this is what you want- then ... we'll stand by you."
Auntie Rosalie scoffed and walked to the window, her arms crossed.
Uncle Emmet grinned at me and wiggled his eyebrows," So, you're into beastiality, huh?"
Everyone groaned. "Gross, Uncle 'Em. Way to ruin the moment."
Uncle Emmet bellowed, his laugh echoing. "Technically, I'm not that far off."
Trying to hide a smile I replied," Technically, you are way, way, off."
"One more thing," Dad added with a crooked smile. "Get Jacob some pants. Please, for everyone's sake."
I rolled my eyes, my blush spreading to my chest. "Sure, sure."
Grandma Esme fluttered over and embraced me, saying," I am so happy for you my little dove." She glanced at Grandpa Carlisle. "We are so happy for you. You've found your mate."
"Thank you Grandma. And Grandpa," I replied as Grandpa Carlisle came to stand by Esme.
"I've always enjoyed Jacob's company," he said. "A good sense of humour and one of the most confident and kind-hearted souls I have had the pleasure to meet."
Auntie Alice clapped her hands. "I liked him too - minus the wet dog smell. Well, now that all that drama is out of the way, can we at least talk outfits for whatever bizarre half-wedding this ends up being?"
Laughter rippled, the tension breaking just enough for me to feel at ease. Although the gnawing feeling still ate away at me, begging me to go back to my Jacob. Jasper exhaled deeply and Mom and Grandma gave me a warm, motherly smile. Auntie Rose, stood still and stone-faced. I ignored her reaction. I was glad Jacob remained outside away from the emotional storm unfolding inside. The light from the tall windows casted long slanted shadows across the floor as dusk began to fall.
My father spoke carefully," Renesmee... maybe it's best if we take some time. There's no need to for us to rush out there with emotions so high. Pass onto Jacob and his pack that we have accepted the ... situation between you two."
Before I could speak, Rosie spat coldly," This might be the biggest mistake of your life."
"No. You're trying to hold onto an idea of me that doesn't exist anymore. Don't do this Auntie Rose. I love you, too."
"Well, he's not coming in here. He can stay outside like a good boy," she said.
"I am not going to beg for your approval - or anyone's for that matter. It's final. And if you won't welcome him inside then I won't stay where he can't be."
Grandma Esme said softly," Renesmee, you don't have to leave like this. This is your home."
I shook my head. "It was once, and still kind of is, but I don't belong here. I belong with my Jacob. He's my home now."
Auntie Alice opened her mouth to speak but Uncle Jasper touched her arm gently, silencing her. Emmet looked disappointed as Rosalie turned away.
Mom wondered," You're not going to stay here?"
Alice muttered under her breath half-heartedly," Ugh, I had just begun setting up her room."
"No, I live with Jacob now. Remember - I am an adult now and I do adult things. But I'll be here everyday, I promise. I can't live without any of you either. You know that," I urged, grinning.
Mom tucked a curl behind my ear. "Okay," she said taking a deep breath. "We'll see you tomorrow. Both of you. You and Jacob."
Dad spoke softly," Yes, we'll need to discuss our plans moving forward. I expect Jacob will need a full run down of what we are all up against - the Volturi."
Grandma Esme butted in, respectfully," But for now it's best we all take a moment to unwind." Looking at me she said," We love you sweetie and we look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Ignore Rosalie, you and Jacob are always welcome."
"Thank you. I know."
"Always," Mom repeated. "I'm already going to miss you my little nudger."
I rolled my eyes jokingly," Oh, Mom. I'll see you in a couple of hours!" We giggled.
After saying my good-byes (and still ignoring Auntie Rosalie) I let the chains that tied me to Jacob pull me to him.
The forest loomed quiet around me, the light fading to a soft grey-blue of early evening. Jacob stood, naked, a few feet away, his arms crossed and in the exact place I had left him. He made me feel so ... feminine. Jacob was trying to read my expression. The wolves had all gone.
I walked right up to him, jumping effortlessly into his arms, wrapping my hands around his neck. He automatically held me tight to his chest.
"So... how did it go in there? Should I be running for my life?" he joked.
Peppering him with kisses across his face I answered, delighted," It went well."
Jacob blinked. "Seriously?"
Teasingly, I said, " Well, 'well' is relative. Rosalie is probably sharpening some silver. But I said what I needed to say and the rest of them are very happy for me - for us."
Jake looked relieved. "So your Dad didn't try and kill me with his eyes through the wall?"
Giggling I replied," He tried to but no, he listened. Eventually. They all did." Looking around again, I asked," Did the other wolves go home?"
"Yeah, I sent them all home. No need for a fight."
Panic shot up my spine for a second as I realised the repercussions of the 'false alarm'. Poor Leah had phased, essentially stunting her ageing again and fertility. Not to mention, how was I going to tell Jacob about the war? About the Volturi?I asked myself.
I watched as his eyes drooped slightly, like they always did before he bent his head down ever so slightly to kiss me. Our lips met slow - no rush, no hunger, just a gentle press of certainty. It was a quiet kind of kiss, soft and languid like the world had stopped spinning for a moment. My breath mingled with his, warm and steady as we moved in a rhythm as natural as breathing. It wasn't a kiss that asked for anything - it simply lingered like the way sunlight rests on your skin at the end of the day.
I decided that our big discussions about the Volturi and the pack could wait until tomorrow. I just wanted to be with my Jacob, for now.
Ending the kiss, my voice dropped an octave as I moved my lips to Jacob's ear," I told them I wasn't staying. I'm coming back home with you. If ... that's what you still want."
Jacob's pulled back to look at me, his face shifted - at first with shock and then a grin so wide it nearly splits his face.
"Serious? You're really? -"
"Oh, yeah. Very serious."
Jacob lifted further off the ground spinning me once, laughing. "Awesome!" he exclaimed.
I replied with the same enthusiasm," So, awesome! I want to live my life, Jake. With you."
"So what now? We just go home?"
Smiling I said," Yeah, my Jacob. Let's go home."
We walked into the trees together, hand in hand. I must look like a child from the obscene height difference between us, I thought to myself, again. Behind us the Cullen house grew quieter and dimmer. Ahead the path opened up towards the homey cabin - our home.
Unable to help myself, I joked before entering inside," Dad says that if you want to stay alive you need to start wearing pants." I had been sneaking looks at his package, trying and failing to hide a smirk.
Jacob laughed, opening the door for me.
I added," You know, for someone who's been alive for as long as you have, you'd think to remember a pair of pants."
Arching a bushy brow he answered, smug and superior," Sure, sure. Like you haven't been trying to get a good look the whole way here." He winked at me. So, did that mean he liked me looking at him? I wondered.
Feigning innocence, though I could feel my cheeks burning I said," I guess you're right. I think I might really like having you around naked. Honestly, you might be onto something. There's a kind of freedom to it."
Jacob chewed his lip and made no effort to find a pair of pants. "Freedom?"
I smacked my lips and flipped my hair. "Yeah. You, me, no pants ... sounds freeing. Maybe we skip dinner and go straight to bed to test it out?"
Although I was teasing him, I found it hard to meet his smouldering black eyes that I could see eating at me in my peripheral vision. I started playing with the skin of my bottom lip, swaying my body slightly in embarrassment and excitement. After this afternoon I felt high as a kite; a bundle of joy sprung from my belly.
Jacob was grinning, and glowing, as we made our way into our bedroom. I liked the sound of that - 'our bedroom'. "You're dangerous, you know? Remind me to forget my pants more often when I phase," he joked.
With a mock-thoughtful tone I replied," I mean, what's the point of a boyfriend who turns into a giant wolf if he can't also provide unexpected ... opportunities."
Jacob pretended to be solemn. "I am a very serious and noble protector. Not a walking invitation for mischief."
I stepped closer to him, the heat rolling off his bare chest onto mine. "Mm, too late for that. Well, how about you guard me then, my noble protector. Very closely."
Jacob cupped my face, forcing me to look at him, all the joking wiped clean off his handsome, dark face. "I liked it when you called me your boyfriend."
Slightly taken aback by his confession and extremely touched, I answered," Yeah, me too. I liked saying it."
Rubbing his thumb across my lip, his eyes aflame, he asked," Can I call you my girlfriend?"
"Please. Call me anything you want," I surrendered to him.
He gave a single, low chuckle and nipped at my lower lip he had being eyeing, before staring into my eyes again, his hands still holding me in place, bowing me against his muscled body. "My soulmate."
My heart rate accelerated, my breath hitched, my skin instantly oversensitive, my nipples aching as I felt my body swell at the sound of those words said in his husky voice.
"Soulmate," I repeated. "Jacob?"
"Yeah, honey?" he murmured, almost like a purr, as he placed another sweet kiss against the hollow of my throat, my eyes closing in response to the ecstasy of his lips against any part of my aching body.
I swallowed thickly, leaning my head back. "Can we go to bed, now?"
Chapter 14: FORGIVE ME…HARDER.
Chapter Text
You kill her, you kill me, Carter Burwell
Do I Wanna Know? Arctic Monkeys
————————————————————————
There was so much to discuss. And so little time. But also so much for me to ... explore... because there was just so much of Jacob. I knew it was wrong to keep information from him but it felt impossible for me to find the will to want to stop touching him. If we spoke about the Volturi... the inevitable war... there would be no turning back. Jacob would stop his touches because his first instinct would be to protect me. Right now, I didn't want to be protected. I wanted to be worshipped and to worship. All I wanted, needed, was my Jacob. In every way possible.
The bed met us gently as Jacob laid me down, our bodies still entangled in the haze of wanting, limbs wrapped around limbs, the mattress dipping beneath our weight as we sank into the softness - not just of the bed but of the moment, of each other. The hot weight of his body burned into mine and although I was on the verge of being crushed, I wanted more, needed him closer still. Knowing he was undressed sent my chest heaving in uneven bursts and I revelled in the feel of his strong shoulders, holding onto them for dear life; too scared and too excited to send my fingertips exploring to other... places... yet.
Jacob's lips had found mine in a slow tentative kiss that deepened with each passing second. His fingers, at first brushed my cheeks, until he tangled them at the base of the roots of my hair, drawing me closer until breathing became a shared rhythm. The world narrowed to the warmth around us - the soft gasps, the firm pressure of his wide lips, the flicker of our tongues exploring gently, hungrily. The sound of his bass grunts sent molten slickers of lava straight to my abdomen in flashes, desire pooling inside me and spreading through each of my limbs. Although it embarrassed me at times to hear myself moan back it only seemed to spur him on more violently, causing him to grip at my waist or tug at my hair.
His hands roamed more freely than mine. More expertly. A small part of my brain screamed insecurities at me - I've never done this before, will it be obvious to him? Will that turn him off? What should I do with my hands? Where did he want to be touched and how do I know to touch there? Will it hurt? Will he like this as much as I do? Have there been other women he enjoyed being intimate more than he has or would with me? Why was I suddenly so worried about this now? Was it because I was hiding something from him? My heart thumped unsteadily and my hands began to shake.
Jacob's reverent hands brushed against my jaw line, lightning striking wherever he touched. But he had begun to slow his movements, became more hesitant as each moment ticked by. I tried to force him back to me, to ignite the flame again.
"Are you okay?" he whispered against my mouth.
I couldn't answer properly so I just nodded and wrapped my legs around his waist, securing that he had no escape from me. I felt him smile into our kiss but pull back to look at me in the dim moonlight. Jacob brushed a curl behind my ear, his eyes twinkling.
"What's up?" he asked again, cocking his head to the side, letting his beautiful midnight hair fall around us.
"Nothing," I chocked out.
His half-smile faded and his shaggy brows pulled together. "I know you. Something's... wrong," he mumbled, kissing me once to placate me.
My heart kicked into fifth gear this time and if I was human I would have broken out into a sweat. I felt the heat touch my cheeks but not from want this time.
I took a large gulp of air before saying," Yes. Something is wrong."
Jacob hauled himself off of my body to sit beside me instead. He was as strong as me now, it wasn't so easy to keep him atop of me if I wanted. I protested weakly, reaching out to him but made no real effort to stop his movements.
He looked at me expectantly. And worriedly.
I couldn't find the will to sit up straight so I stay put, laying on the bed, unable to meet his black eyes.
Swallowing the lump in my throat I said," I want you so bad right now."
"But-" he finished my sentence.
Forcing a small smile I replied," But-" I hesitated. What to tell him first? Maybe start off small, I thought, chickening out. "But, I just feel a little bit insecure, I guess."
Jacob laughed before seeing the pain in my eyes and he stifled the small chortles that still managed to escape his lips. "I'm sorry, Ness. I really shouldn't laugh, that's not very nice of me. But if you could only see yourself through my eyes, you'd laugh too."
I rolled my eyes and giggled once. "I know how you... want me.." Jacob nodded so hard it almost made me truly laugh. I had to force myself to not look down his rippling abdomen and even further down to his length adorned with course black curls. "It's more that I am not as experienced as you are. I don't want that to be a shortcoming."
Jacob rolled his lips, shaking his head. "Not even a little bit. No one could ever compare. Before or after the imprint." He flashed me his iconic smile.
"Are you sure?" I asked anyway.
"Are you crazy? Of course. Experiment with me however you want. I don't care in the slightest, in fact, I want you to."
"What if I do something you don't like or doesn't feel good?" I huffed.
"You could never do something I wouldn't like or didn't feel good," he murmured.
I slapped the bed with my hand annoyed. "Jacob. Answer the question."
It was his turn to roll his eyes at me. "If you did something I didn't like, I would tell you. If you did something that didn't feel good," he leaned down to whisper the next part in my ear," which is impossible by the way, then I would just tell you. And you should do the same to me."
His breath tickled me. "Okay. So, you don't mind that I'm a virgin?"
Jacob shook his head and swept his thumb along my bottom lip. "Nope."
A realisation seemed to hit him when he suddenly wondered," Does it bother you that I'm not?"
"Not at all."
We stared at each other for a long second.
"Well, okay fine, it only bothers me a tiny bit because I feel ... possessive of you. Stupid and backwards. But it's true," I confessed.
"I understand that," he whispered and nudged his nose to my cheek.
"I guess what I'm actually saying is that I feel jealous," I smiled.
"I love you. I'm yours. No need to be jealous."
"I know, I know," I hummed, placing my hand to his handsome face and using my power to show him exactly how much I loved him back. I didn't need to be jealous and it was wrong of me to be insecure about the fact that he had had a life before me. Besides, someone ought to know how it all works. Maybe, it meant that I would feel more pleasure the first time round. In the end it would never make a difference if either of us had had sex with other people before - or had never had sex with anyone.
Jacob closed his eyes and leaned into my touch, earning me a soft human purr.
His eyes still shut he replied," We can still wait. There's no rush when we have forever."
This sent a panic through me which he felt from the connection of my hand. "No!" I almost screamed at him. He chuckled lightly.
Opening his deep set eyes, looking almost sleepy he declared," There's something else you're not saying."
I removed my touch. "Yes," I answered straight.
"What is it?"
I pursed my lips. Did I have the courage to ruin this moment? I wondered to myself. Without thinking, the words started to stream out of my mouth, incorrect and completely not what I had intended to tell him.
"Do you remember when myself, you and Embry were talking about imprinting in the garage?"
Jacob didn't answer.
"About how you didn't want to be tied so completely to another person? To have no will of your own?"
Jacob nodded, his mouth turned down.
"I assume because of the imprint you won't even be able to give me a true answer because you feel bound to tell me what I want to hear," I mumbled, not having asked the real question.
Jacob breathed hard through his nose. "It's my first instinct, yes, to give you whatever you need. But that doesn't mean I'm not still... me. It's hard to explain. But, yeah, I always wanted to just fall in love the natural way first. What I should have said is that I didn't want to be so connected to some stranger I had never met before."
Tears welled and I nodded mutely as Jake placed a warm peck on the top of my head. He whispered," And I did fall in love with you the normal way first, silly. So whatever you were trying to get at doesn't apply to us. For me, the imprint had just made it more... resolute. You're my mate- soulmate. I want to be yours. I've never been so happy in my entire life."
I stared at him amazed. "I love you more."
He hummed against me, disagreeing. "So, are you going to tell me now? The thing you've been avoiding?"
I cringed and pulled myself closer into his comforting arms. "Maybe."
"Okay."
I rolled my eyes jokingly. "Usually you would pester me a lot more to get this information out of me."
Smiling he said," Sure, sure. You forget that now I'm immortal and all, that I have a tiny bit more patience."
I grumbled. "Fine. I should tell you. I was always going to tell you of course, it's just that I didn't want to ruin the moment."
I listened to his even breaths, lulling me, keeping the panic from sprouting.
"The Volturi are coming," I blurted out, unable to hold it in any longer.
Jacob pulled back slightly, his eyes feverishly searching my face. "What?!" His voice began to rise," What are you talking about? The Volturi are coming here?"
I nodded, squinting in pain. "There's going to be a war. But not here. Up north, in Canada."
Jacob rose from the bed, pacing back and forth in the small dark bedroom, his hands running through his hair anxiously.
"No, no, no. This doesn't make any sense. I thought the Cullen's had come back because it was safe again, for you?" His face was stricken.
Whispering, I answered," I'm sorry. I should have told you straight away. I was trying to protect you and then you imprinted and then..." My words got lost.
Jake's voice cracked," When? How many bloodsuckers are coming? What's the game plan?" His arms crossed over his bulging chest as he picked up his pace around the room, his eyes screaming.
"Jacob, please. Not now. Well go back tomorrow to discuss everything with my family, okay? I promise, everything is alright for now. Auntie Alice has seen the date of the Volturi's arrival and where. It's all been planned and set accordingly. There's no point worrying right now about it. Please, I can't bear it."
"Nessie. What do they want? What do the Volturi want?" he asked, his voice so low I could barely hear.
It hurt to look at my Jacob. It hurt to know that my next sentence would silence him even if he truly wanted to keep discussing the matter. "Me. But we don't know why. I don't have any answers for you. Tomorrow, we can figure it out. Together. Right now, I just need you here with me."
"I'll be wherever you are, always," he whispered, crossing his hand over his heart. I smiled weakly and did the same.
Jacob came to sit by me again on the edge of our bed, not speaking, just breathing in sync. I rested my head on his massive shoulder, his arms wrapped around me like a promise not to let go. The air still carried the weight of everything we had said but the sharp edges were being softened every minute that passed by the comforting silence. It was the kind of quiet that came after a storm, when nothing needed to be fixed right away, only held.
As we held each other the space between us closed completely - not just physically but emotionally. His hand found mine, fingers interlacing before slowly tracing lines on my arm as if relearning the feel of me. My touch mirrored his, tentative at first, then surer - exploring the familiar terrain of his back, shoulders and neck. It was rushed or heated; it was reverent. A reaffirmation.
Every touch carried meaning: I'm here. I love you. We're in this together.
I leaned in slowly, feeling the intense pull between us - the familiar warmth began building in the out of my abdomen the way it always does before our lips meet. My eyes caught Jacob's dark brown eyes for a moment, searching, smiling, and then everything faded as our mouths touched.
It was soft at first - unhurried. A simple press of lips that said I've missed you or I need you. The world narrowed to the feeling of his skin on mine, the hot taste of his breath and the rhythm of his heartbeat so close to my own. My hands found the side of his face, my fingers brushed along his chiseled jawline, anchoring me to the moment. Jacob responded with a gentle sigh of relief and leaned in to deepen the kiss. Our tongues met and after a while I submitted to him, following in his lead, appreciating being able to let go and have him take me completely.
Jacob moved us to the pillows of the bed, his large hands gripping my backside to haul me softly upwards and pin me underneath his mammoth body. We never broke our kiss once, our gasps echoing in the blackened room.
I pushed him harder towards me, our mouths crashing, Jacob's arms stabilising himself by the sides of my head. Jake shoved my thighs open with his knees, earning an excited shriek from me. Then, he lowered himself gently atop of my yearning body that heaved off the bed to meet him, the pull of gravity between us intensifying. His abdomen was strategically placed away from my own on the bed but I wasn't going to let him get away with that move for much longer. My legs opened earnestly for my mate, the thrill of being so vulnerable in this position set off tiny fireworks beneath my skin. I needed him so badly.
I let my hands roam, loving the feel of his broad shoulders and bulky chest. Fighting the ache in the pool of my stomach and the tingles running down lower to the budding wetness between my legs, I attempted to lift my hips to gain friction against his stomach. At that moment, Jacob pulled away from my lips with a low grunt and attacked my neck with open mouthed kisses and nips on my jugular. My breasts reacted automatically, filling my chest with air to feel closer while my nipples constricted and begged to be touched. Jacob began to hum appreciatively as his lapped his way down to my collarbone.
I threw my head back, moaning and pleaded," Please, my Jacob. Please."
His warm fingers that had been caressing my waist, inched up my ribcage, leaving a trace of heat in his path, while slowly dragging my shirt up along with them. My breathing became uneven and sporadic, the blood in my veins felt thick.
Jacob stopped his kisses when his mouth found the beginning of the top of my left breast, right above my heart. He gave me one small, devious smile as his hand came to squeeze the softness of my breast, that moulded easily under his touch. With a quick flash of his tongue to wet his lips, he dove in on my hardened flesh, finding my nipple easily through the thin fabric. I muffled my scream of pleasure with a hand over my mouth and thrashed my head to the side. Without removing his mouth from my clothed bud, Jacob forced my hand to my side, holding my arm down, compelling me to let out my moans. The slick saliva that covered my breasts created a strange cooling effect that was a striking contrast to the heat of Jacob's body and tongue.
I felt his scouring fingers brush the underside of my breast, silently asking for permission to expose myself to him. Using my gift, and without coherent words, I emoted how much I wanted to feel his flesh against my naked form. That was all it took for him to respond with a wild gasp and lift my shirt over my head. I forced the small part of me that wanted to cover myself from embarrassment, blushing still, and let his hungry eyes rake over my small mounds.
Jacob bit his lip and dragged a slow, single finger over my ribs, over my breast and around my nipple once.
"So beautiful," he murmured, looking at me with black eyes.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I waited for his next move. This time, he repeated his action of sucking gently and lapping at my bare teats. How could I have gone this long without ever having experienced this kind of sensation? My legs constricted around his torso, my now swollen flower craving a different touch. I was so inexplicably turned on and wet that the smell of my cunt permitted the room and I was sure that Jacob was aware of it too as per by his heavy breathing through his nose and occasional low moan that only spurred me on more.
Kneading and devouring my chest, I realised that I had not had a chance to do some exploring of my own. I wanted to touch Jacob, make him feel as good as I did right now.
Jacob groaned," Not yet, honey. Let me look after you first."
I clenched my fists. Stupid power.
Jacob advanced down my body, taking time to kiss at my naval which made me squeal with delight and humiliation, and at one point he gave a long lick with the flat of his tongue from the beginning of my pants back up to my bellybutton. The trail of cool wetness sending another spark of desire to my lower parts. I watched as he hooked his fingers at the rim of my trousers and looked up at me. Jacob resembled a predator ready to pounce on his prey the way he moved down my body with a quiet coiled intensity - his shoulders low, eyes locked and ready. Every muscle seemed taught beneath his skin, brimming with control, with power held just beneath the surface.
"Can I?" he asked sultrily, a small smile playing at the edge of his mouth.
Unable to speak, I nodded fervently, my heart pounding in my ears.
Jacob yanked my pants down and off, including my underwear that were soaked, and threw them on the ground next to us. I slammed my legs shut, worried about the smell and what he would think of me, and propped myself up on my elbows.
Now that his body had leaned back to help undress me, kneeling on the bed, revealing his majestic and formidable torso, I could see every long inch of him in the darkness. His length, no longer flaccid, was at full mast. If he wasn't so beautiful I would have felt scared. While his shaft was long, it was the width that was intimidating. It stood, straight up, and throbbing, the slightly pinker tip peaking out from beneath his dark russet foreskin, that looked irresistibly smooth and hard at the same time. Thick veins ran up the sides and disappeared under the skin which made his erection the more alluring. Beneath this monstrous appendage was his large weighty ballsack which brought on new thoughts of Jacob's hot load; making my heart flutter with anticipation.
Smooth hands brushed gently up my porcelain thighs and enveloped the skin of my legs where my hips met, just below the crease. Pushing against my bent knees, I had no option but to open my legs to Jacob to let him bend back down into his original position between my aching legs. I shut my eyes for a moment and focused on my breathing to try and hide my embarrassment. When I opened them I felt relieved and thankful that Jacob had not feasted upon my spread pussy.
"Ness, can I do something first? Please? I need it," he whispered, his voice straining as he begged me.
"I-I, yes, I mean, I, what is it?" I replied pathetically.
"I need to taste you," he grunted, his eyes pleading.
My throat closed but I managed to squeak out a stuttered response of, "O-okay." Another insecurity shouted at me. "I-I haven't shaved, I hope that's alright?"
Still not looking down at my genitalia, Jacob gave me a confused look. "Shaved? Why would I care about that?"
If it was possible to blush more than I was already, I did. "I thought guys liked that?"
Jacob rubbed up and down my pale thighs, his giant erection an unavoidable focal point to me in our position with me laying on my back while he leaned back on his knees between me. He shrugged and replied," I couldn't care less. I think I might even like a bit of hair to be honest."
It was too black in the room and Jacob's skin too dark for me to decipher if he was blushing at his own confession.
"I haven't shaved either," he pointed out.
I shook my head,"I like that you have hair there as well."
Jacob gave me a comforting smile before turning his attention back to... me. Finally, his eyes made their way down my nakedness, landing on the place between my opened legs. He groaned in a way I first thought he may have been in agony until I saw the sparkle of hunger in his jet black orbs. Steadily, he leaned down so his chin bumped against my pelvis and hooked his hands around my thighs - denying me of any escape. He peppered kisses along the inside of my loins, teasing me, praising me, and humming words of sweet affirmations but all the while avoiding the place that I needed his touch the most. I couldn't think straight, everything felt blurry and overwhelming - in the best way - and the only thing I could manage was to sigh my Jacob's name while clutching at the sheets. All my insecurities had vanished completely under his hold. Jacob licked around the sides of my dripping mound, making me jerk and shiver. If I wasn't in overdrive perhaps I would have noticed his little chuckle at my reactions.
I watched as he took a deep breath, closing his eyes, and releasing a small grunt of approval before placing a tender kiss upon my clit. I sucked in a gasp full of air and snapped my legs shut over his head in surprise at the feeling. Jacob pushed me open again, using one hand to grip my buttocks tightly. My heart raced wildly, that echoed in my ears and flushed warmth through my entire body. This time, he used the flat of his tongue to trace from the point where my wetness flowed back up over and around my clitoris. I wanted to close my legs again but Jacob held me steady. I let out a long moan and threw my head back letting my curls fall around me.
"Look at me baby," he murmured, his hot breath down there made me squirm.
Forcing my head upright and biting down hard on my lip, I submitted to his demand willingly.
Eyes locked, that was when he started a beautiful and torturous rhythm with his mouth on my cunt. The perfect amount of pressure and flicking, combined with slight suction was better than my own hand or any sex toy I had ever used. I felt breathlessly alive.
Everything felt more as he worked his magic on my body, pulling me closer and kneading my flesh roughly with his hands. Every now and again his fingers would find their way back to a breast to fondle or gently smack at the side of my bum, leaving his mark. I couldn't catch my breath but I didn't want to.
"Jacob, I - ", I groaned, as he increased the pace.
I felt the rush of blood travel from my head down to my ankles, making me tingle with delight.
"Yeah, honey?" he rasped, stopping his movement. "Fuck, you taste so good," he added with a smack of his lips.
"No, no - keep going. Please, please, I-" I pleaded, but he had already returned to his delicious assault. It was easy for me to build back up to the point of unbearable pleasure again.
It all hit at once, like a wave I didn't see coming but didn't want to avoid. My chest tightened, breath caught, every muscles coiled, my thighs bear trapping Jacob's face, skin on fire and thoughts disappeared as all focused honed in on my satisfaction. I flung myself off the imaginary cliff as I orgasmed, hard. Every part of me was throbbing with gratification and spasms took over my body as I plummeted back to earth from my all time high. I may have screamed or cried, I was unsure, but without a doubt it was the most all consuming pleasure I had ever felt. It was on the brink of being painful it was so good. And addictive.
Jacob slowed his movements in perfect synchrony to my wavering orgasm, placing one last open mouthed kiss onto my drenched cunt, covered in his spit and my own juices.
Struggling to find the words and to keep my eyes focused I said the only thing that came to mind. "Holy shitballs."
Jacob erupted with laughter and peppered my stomach with little pecks. The skin around his mouth glistened with my wetness and left tiny trails as remnants.
Humming against my skin he asked," Good?"
"Good?" I chocked. "That was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Physically."
"What's the 'not physical' best thing?" he asked, not paying too much attention to my answer as he focused on placing his lips on every inch of my body he could find.
"You imprinting on me."
That earned me one of his best Jacob-y smiles.
Somehow my body still managed to blush as I said," Okay, your turn now."
guest (Guest) on Chapter 1 Sun 27 Apr 2025 05:04AM UTC
Comment Actions
CheeseandVegemites on Chapter 1 Sun 27 Apr 2025 07:53AM UTC
Comment Actions
guest_95 (Guest) on Chapter 1 Mon 14 Jul 2025 09:07PM UTC
Comment Actions
CheeseandVegemites on Chapter 1 Tue 15 Jul 2025 02:38AM UTC
Comment Actions
Guest (Guest) on Chapter 1 Mon 11 Aug 2025 02:58PM UTC
Comment Actions
CheeseandVegemites on Chapter 1 Sat 16 Aug 2025 10:38AM UTC
Comment Actions
guest (Guest) on Chapter 5 Sun 27 Apr 2025 02:06PM UTC
Comment Actions
Eyshilabennett on Chapter 7 Tue 15 Apr 2025 03:42PM UTC
Comment Actions
Eyshilabennett on Chapter 12 Tue 15 Apr 2025 04:29PM UTC
Comment Actions
CheeseandVegemites on Chapter 12 Wed 16 Apr 2025 03:44AM UTC
Comment Actions
tukery (Guest) on Chapter 12 Tue 22 Apr 2025 02:52AM UTC
Comment Actions
CheeseandVegemites on Chapter 12 Tue 22 Apr 2025 03:35AM UTC
Comment Actions
itsgrangerweasley on Chapter 12 Wed 07 May 2025 09:56PM UTC
Comment Actions
CheeseandVegemites on Chapter 12 Fri 09 May 2025 01:47AM UTC
Comment Actions
Guiltytomfooler on Chapter 12 Tue 20 May 2025 07:37AM UTC
Comment Actions
CheeseandVegemites on Chapter 12 Tue 27 May 2025 03:31AM UTC
Last Edited Tue 27 May 2025 03:31AM UTC
Comment Actions
Guiltytomfooler on Chapter 12 Wed 21 May 2025 02:13PM UTC
Comment Actions
Guiltytomfooler on Chapter 12 Sun 25 May 2025 12:14AM UTC
Comment Actions
teenwolflover123 on Chapter 12 Fri 06 Jun 2025 04:02AM UTC
Comment Actions
CheeseandVegemites on Chapter 12 Thu 12 Jun 2025 07:38AM UTC
Comment Actions
Minisu (Guest) on Chapter 12 Sat 07 Jun 2025 05:46AM UTC
Comment Actions
CheeseandVegemites on Chapter 12 Thu 12 Jun 2025 07:39AM UTC
Comment Actions
itsgrangerweasley on Chapter 13 Tue 08 Jul 2025 08:51PM UTC
Comment Actions
CheeseandVegemites on Chapter 13 Tue 15 Jul 2025 02:39AM UTC
Comment Actions
gl3amless on Chapter 13 Wed 16 Jul 2025 12:04AM UTC
Comment Actions
CheeseandVegemites on Chapter 13 Wed 16 Jul 2025 11:35AM UTC
Comment Actions
Saomi_monch05 on Chapter 14 Tue 26 Aug 2025 03:52AM UTC
Comment Actions