Chapter Text
Teddy’s asleep in his carseat by the time Remus pulls into the university. It had been an hour drive, Remus is in the worst multiple sclerosis relapse of his life, and he has serious doubts about this, but he’s desperate.
He wants to let Teddy sleep—neither of them have gotten a decent eight hours since all of this started—but the presentation starts in five minutes. And, with his crutch and his wretched knee trapped in a brace, it’ll take Remus just about that long to hobble into the building.
The evening air is cold when he steps out of the car, biting at his face and hands, which is all the more reason that he’s in a hurry to figure something out. Why he’s willing to try this. It’s late autumn and it’ll only get colder from now.
He opens the back door to get to Teddy. “Hey, buddy,” he says softly, brushing his son’s hair from his forehead, encouraging him awake. “We’re here.”
Teddy stretches and yawns, blinking his eyes open. There are bags underneath them, the skin dark and puffy. He’s exhausted. He’s only three, and he used to be so animated and vibrant, bouncing off the walls of their old flat.
Remus has to do something to fix it. Anything. He feels completely useless.
“Da?” Teddy murmurs.
Guilt gnaws on Remus’s heart as he unbuckles him, fitting his arms beneath the straps to free them. “Yeah, c’mon,” he says, whispering. “Do you think you can walk?”
“Can walk,” Teddy answers, thankfully, because Remus wouldn’t be able to carry him if he had said no. Remus wraps one arm around him to lift him from the car, his other arm leaning on the crutch as he lowers him to the ground.
“Alright? Got your toy?”
Teddy yawns again, nodding. “Uh huh.”
Remus holds his hand as they slowly cross the parking lot, heading for the university’s main entrance. There are a few other people going in, too, also here just in time for the presentation, and a nice woman holds the door for Remus and Teddy.
A university student hands him a pamphlet before he walks into the lecture hall, and the cover has a black and white picture of the Potters looking back at him. James and Lily. They aren’t smiling in the photo, but he can tell by their soft expressions that they’re kind, that their true belief is that they’re helping people.
Remus just doesn’t know if he hopes they’re crazy or not.
He read about them in the paper a couple days ago, in an article titled, Heroes or Hoaxes? so he really has no idea what’s going to come of this. But he read a description of the presentation they were making around the country and their latest news-recognised case and saw that they were coming to this university. So Remus is here to listen and if not find answers, then at least eliminate them.
He herds Teddy into the second row of seats, avoiding the very front row and avoiding going up more steps than he has to. They sit at the end closest to the door, which is good because Teddy immediately has to go pee— Remus’s fault, he should’ve checked with him before they came into the hall. Luckily, the Potters are running a bit behind schedule, so they haven’t started yet when Remus and Teddy return from the bathroom. The university staff is still setting up the projector.
Remus puts Teddy in his lap, letting him sit on his thighs, facing him. “Okay,” he tells him. He digs into the pocket of his cardigan. “Remember the ear plugs?” He holds up the two foam plugs. “It’s going to be loud. Remember how you wear them?”
Teddy eyes them and nods.
“And if you need me,” Remus continues. “Don’t take them out, just tap me two times like this—” He pokes Teddy’s shoulder twice. “Then we’ll go out and we can talk.”
“Okay, Da.”
“You have your etch-a-sketch?”
Teddy lifts it to show him, sporadic lines already drawn all over the screen.
“Good.” Remus runs his fingers through Teddy’s hair. “Draw some pictures and show me before you erase any, ‘cause I wanna see.”
“Okay.” Teddy nods again, little lips pursed in concentration as he shakes the toy to start over.
Remus helps Teddy fit the plugs in his ears, and he knows he’s being judged by everyone in here, most of them university students, because who takes a kid to a demonologists’ presentation?
But Remus hadn’t had any other choice, Teddy doesn’t have anywhere else to go. Neither of them do right now. So he tries to maintain some responsibility by bringing ear plugs and the etch-a-sketch and Teddy will be facing him instead of the front of the hall. He also highly suspects Teddy will be asleep again in about ten minutes.
“Welcome everyone,” a voice booms, making Remus jump. He hadn’t noticed the Potters had come out— James is the one speaking. He has a bright, charming smile that he aims throughout the hall. “Thank you for coming.”
Remus had read the article, he’s read of the supposed evil that this man fights, the horrible things he must see, and Remus can say he absolutely does not look the part. He seems far too jovial to do this for a living. They’re both older than Remus, but still young, still with less grey hair than him. In their early forties probably. They’re dressed casually for such a serious topic; blue jeans, James in a jumper, Lily in a soft-looking blouse— Lily’s trousers have flower patches on them. Maybe they really are crazy.
James wastes no time and launches into the story of their most famous case first— one that even Remus had heard about, with some cursed object and a businessman’s son that ended up killed in what was claimed to be an exorcism. It was nearly a decade ago, Remus doesn’t remember the names and James doesn’t say them.
Lily is quieter, less for the dramatics of presentation, occasionally interjecting with facts and slowing James down when he begins rambling. She watches him, entranced, as if she hasn’t lived through it and heard him say it dozens of times by now. James does the exact same thing when it’s her turn to speak, telling the audience about how she personally got into the business of paranormal investigation. So Remus at least knows they love each other even if everything else is fake.
“Da, look,” Teddy says, right when they’re dimming the lights and firing up the projector. He forgets to whisper, so Remus instinctively covers his mouth, which he shakes his head to escape, shoving the etch-a-sketch in Remus’s face. “Look.”
Remus obeys, and he looks at the scribbled overlapping lines over the screen, having no clue what it’s meant to be. But he smiles and nods his support.
Teddy grins, proud of himself, and he rattles the toy to clear it and begin again.
The video starts, the film whirring. It’s of an exorcism, displaying a man writhing in pain, tied to a chair, his skin shiny with sweat, hair soaked with it. The camera work is unsteady, a priest is reciting scripture, James and Lily are there to restrain the man—yelling to try to talk him through it—and Remus covers Teddy’s ears even with the ear plugs to make sure he can’t hear the raw, excruciating screams. The man’s eyes roll back in his head as he arches his back, struggling against the restraints. It’s sickening. Remus stomach churns and he has to look away after a while, tucking his face into Teddy’s neck and closing his eyes.
After the video, James and Lily ask for questions, and eager university students bombard them. There are older adults, too, who came because they saw it in the paper or somewhere else, some of them with a notebook and pen like they might be reporters. Remus wonders if anyone is here for the same reason he is.
He doubts it.
Teddy is asleep, slumped against Remus’s chest and sucking his thumb, by the time James and Lily get to the three stages of demonic activity. As soon as they start on the topic, Remus’s heart climbs to his throat. Cold dread crawls through his body, its claws sharp.
“Infestation, oppression, and possession,” Lily states, reciting the list of stages that James scrawled on the chalkboard. “Infestation is the first. This will be the whispering, the footsteps, small noises like that. Things not being where you thought you left them, feeling like someone else is in the room watching you.”
Remus inhales shakily, thinking of the first couple weeks he and Teddy had spent in their house. How he hears heavy breathing in the bedroom while they’re sleeping, how his pictures get knocked off the shelves daily. In the basement especially, he constantly feels like he’s being stalked, watched by a predator lurking in the dark corners.
James picks up where Lily left off, “The next stage is oppression. This is when the characteristics of infestation build and a victim is targeted specifically. The demon breaks them down, crushes their will. It puts them in a weakened state to prepare for the final stage, which is—”
“Possession,” Lily finishes, her voice serious, looking out at the audience.
Remus would have a hard time deciphering between symptoms of demon oppression and symptoms of MS, but he had once felt an invisible hand wrap around his neck, cutting off his airway as he laid in bed. He woke up choking, gasping for breath until the pressure let up. Which, last time he checked, isn't a part of MS. He’s constantly overwhelmed by the fear that he can’t keep Teddy safe from something like that. He’s never been in a more weakened state than he is now, physically or mentally.
He tunes out the rest of the presentation, which isn’t very long, gripped by terror, fighting off the immediate panic that rises in him. James and Lily host another round of questions that Remus doesn’t hear, then they dismiss everyone and say their goodbyes.
Most people leave—the university students especially—but Remus stays seated with Teddy sleeping against his chest. A couple listeners approach James and Lily afterwards, both complimenting and questioning them, and Remus waits for the others to go before he gets up.
Remus stands, his leg entirely numb after sitting that long, and he hoists Teddy higher on his body so his head rests on his shoulder. Teddy shifts a little, his hands briefly coming up around Remus’s neck, then they drop again with a deep breath. Still asleep. Remus struggles to hold him, his knee protests, but he wants to let him sleep as long as he can.
“Hi,” Remus says breathlessly, his crutch tapping the ground as he limps over to James and Lily. “Hi, I’m, uh— my name is Remus Lupin.”
Lily stands from where she was packing a rolled up cord into their bag and James stops fiddling with the projector. They both glance at the knee brace and the crutch first, like most people do when Remus has to use them, then they smile politely. “Hi, Remus, I’m Lily.”
“James,” James greets, extending a hand and quickly retracting it when he realises Remus doesn’t have a free one.
“Hi,” Remus says again. His throat is constricting with anxiety, words barely escaping. He holds Teddy tighter. “There’s— there’s something happening at my house.” He swallows. “Something horrible. I was wondering if you— if you could come take a look. Please.”
A crease forms between James’s eyebrows, and he and Lily exchange a look before he turns back to Remus. “What’s been going on?”
“Pretty much everything you said,” Remus starts. His voice is fragile and Teddy squirms against him. “With the three stages of demon activity— well, the first two stages are what’s happening, I guess—”
“Here.” James suddenly reaches his arms out, gesturing for Remus to hand off Teddy. “Let me hold him while you talk.”
“Oh.” Remus blinks. “You really don’t have to—”
“Please,” James insists.
“He’s good with kids,” Lily assures him.
“Oh… Alright.” He hesitates, then lets James lift Teddy from him. He usually wouldn’t accept that kind of help, but, again, he’s limited for options. His knee is shaking beneath him. “Thank you.”
James tucks Teddy against his shoulder, the boy’s head flopping onto it. “Of course.”
“Tell us what’s happening at your house,” prompts Lily. Her eyes are concerned as she looks at him, the corners of her lips turned downward.
Remus sighs. “I mean… all of it.” He sniffs, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth. “The footsteps, the whispering…”
“Sometimes there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation. Could be the water moving through the pipes, mice chewing on—”
“No.” Remus shakes his head. “It’s not that. I can feel it… watching me, like you said. I see it in the corner of my eyes— a shadow. Like a— a huge man, almost. It knocks down my pictures, it slams our doors. We can barely sleep. I felt it once— put its hand or— or something around my neck, choking me—”
James’s eyebrows fly up his forehead, over the rims of his round glasses. “You’ve felt it touch you?”
Remus nods. “Yeah. But it was like a— a pressure, more than a physical… thing.”
James and Lily look at each other again, communicating something without words.
“Please,” Remus repeats, clearly not above begging at this point. They need help. “Please, I’m— I don’t know what’s happening. I’m scared that it wants to hurt us, that it’s going to hurt him.” His voice fractures as his eyes go to Teddy.
“Alright.” Lily reaches out to touch his arm, gentle and reassuring. “It’s alright. We’ll come take a look.”
“Yeah,” James agrees. “We’ll follow you there.”
Remus furrows his eyebrows, talking around the lump in his throat. “What? Now?”
“The sooner we can investigate the better,” Lily explains. “In case it is something dangerous.”
“Just to be safe,” James adds. He swipes a hand up and down Teddy’s back. “If now is alright with you?”
“It’s an hour drive,” Remus says weakly.
“That’s fine,” Lily says, no hesitation.
“I’ll haul this sleepy bloke to the car,” James says, shifting Teddy up a little.
“Oh, that’s— Teddy, my son,” Remus stammers. “You don’t have to—”
“Let us help, Remus,” James says, his voice soft but stern. He looks at Lily before Remus has a chance to protest. “Lils, you got the film and the bag?”
“Yeah, I’ve got it.”
Remus steps forward. “Let me give you—”
“Lead us to the car,” James interrupts, smiling and ignoring that Remus had said anything at all.
*
*
Remus’s house is, quite frankly, in the middle of nowhere. He drives slowly down the winding, unpaved roads so that James and Lily can keep up. Tall trees loom over them on either side, shadows growing with the sunset. It’s dark by the time he makes it home, turning from the backroad into an even more secluded driveway that leads to a clearing in the forest where the property is. Teddy wakes up, then, and Remus gives him a heads-up of what’s going on.
“Friends?” Teddy questions from his carseat, suspicious. Rightfully so, because Remus has never had a friend over in all of the three and a half years he’s been alive.
Remus looks at him in the mirror. “Mhm. They’re going to come look at our house. You can show them your room.”
“And my toys?”
“Sure.”
Teddy suddenly lowers his voice. “Da?”
“Yeah?”
“What about…?” He’s whispering— though he’s bad at it. “What about the monster?”
Remus’s heart clenches in his chest. He reaches back and bends his arm at an awkward angle to pat Teddy’s leg. “Don’t you worry about that, bud. These people—you won’t believe it—are professional monster-checkers.”
“They’re goin’ to check under my bed?”
“Sure will. Mine too.”
Teddy kicks his feet happily against the back of Remus’s seat as Remus puts the car in park. “I want out!”
“Patience,” Remus scolds lightly. “I’m coming.”
Remus struggles to get out of the car, and he struggles even more to stand. It’s as if it’s worse the closer he is to the house. He waits for the vertigo to become bearable, leans heavily on his crutch, and tries not to wince as he walks to the back to unbuckle Teddy. James and Lily’s car rolls to a stop as Teddy hops to the ground, steadied by Remus’s hand around his, lit up by the headlights.
“Stay,” Remus says, keeping a hold on him.
“It’s a beautiful drive here,” James says loudly, shutting his car door. He looks around at the yard and the front of the house, likely not able to see much in the dark. “The property, too.”
“Thanks,” Remus responds because it’s polite. He’s truthfully not feeling very grateful at the moment. “I got it in a bank auction. Wouldn’t be able to afford it under any other circumstances.”
“You don’t have any information about the previous owners?” Lily asks, coming around the car to join James. She pulls her coat tighter around herself.
“None,” he admits. “We moved in two months ago and— everything basically started right away.”
“There’s a monster,” Teddy contributes, his voice quiet. He’s half-hiding behind Remus’s leg, acting a little shy.
James crouches, elbows on his knees, and smiles kindly. “I’ve heard,” he says, wrinkling his nose. He pushes his glasses up. “My name is James, and this is Lily.” He reaches to touch Lily’s hand, which she had rested on his shoulder as she stood next to him.
Teddy tucks himself further behind Remus’s leg, fingers twisted in the denim of his jeans. Remus drops a hand to his head and fondly scratches his hair. “Sorry,” he says, shooting James an apologetic look. “He’s… we don’t have people over very often… or at all.”
James straightens, still smiling. “That’s okay,” he dismisses. “Let’s go in and have a look, shall we?”
Remus leads them inside, Teddy’s hand in his, apologising for the mess of little boy shoes littering the rug right inside the door. “Don’t worry about it,” Lily says, closing the door behind her and glancing around the cramped foyer.
“It’s not much,” Remus mumbles. “And there’s still unpacked boxes all over the place. Um, you can leave your coats and shoes on— we always do. It’s freezing in here.” It’s as cold, if not colder, than it just was outside. But less approaching winter and more forbidding dread.
“Always?” Lily asks, still taking everything in. Making Remus a bit self-conscious.
“Yeah,” he answers. “It’s not a problem with the furnace… I don’t think. Not that I can find.”
“Hm,” James says, which Remus feels does not bode well for him.
“This is the entryway,” Remus says needlessly. “There’s not much happening here. Bathroom to your left if you need it.” He walks through the wide doorway. “Through here is the kitchen. I’ve, er— I’ve lost some mugs.”
James tilts his head. “Lost them?”
“They broke, I mean,” he says. “They slide off the table if I leave them out.” Remus takes a breath, then grimaces, his stomach rolling with nausea. “And I’m sorry about the smell. It’s bloody awful— worse than this sometimes, especially at night. I don’t know what it is, it’s been here since we moved it. I think a rat or something might’ve died in the walls… I’ve been meaning to call someone to take care of it.”
“Smells bad,” Teddy agrees. He lifts the hand that isn’t holding Remus’s to pinch his nose with two fingers.
Remus sees James and Lily exchange yet another moment of communicative eye contact, but this one seems much more dire. Serious. Lily’s lips are pressed together. “What?” he says, interrupting them, his voice nervous. “What is it?”
“Well…” James looks from Lily to him. “Demons are often associated with the smell of sulfur. Like… like rotting eggs.”
“Ah.” Remus’s insides twist unpleasantly with that information. “Good to know, thanks.”
“Is this where the majority of the activity is?” Lily asks. She circles around the small table in the middle of the kitchen—only two chairs around it—where they eat all their meals. She has to skirt around a tower of half-unpacked boxes.
“I saw it standing here before—” or floating or whatever the hell demons do, Remus doesn’t know the terminology “—through the window. I was outside, tossing out one of the crows, and when I was walking back, I saw the shadow in this window.” He gestures to the window above the sink that displays his backyard, dark right now.
“‘Tossing out one of the crows’?” James echoes, expression confused, eyebrows raised slightly.
“Oh. Yeah. It’s the maddest thing,” Remus says. “Damned birds fly into the side of the house every day— sometimes two a day. They all break their necks.” He rubs the back of his own neck as he pictures it. It’s grotesque. “I buried them in the forest at first, then that became… too much.” Physically, he means, as his relapse worsened. “So now I just throw them past the trees and let whatever animal have them.”
“That’s strange,” Lily comments.
“But, no,” Remus continues, circling back to the original question. “I’d say I feel it more in the bedroom or basement than in here… activity-wise. Living room’s here.” He lifts an arm towards what’s clearly the living room, just another small space off the kitchen, tile turning to carpet. It has a sofa and a little fireplace and a boxy television sitting on a short stand. There used to be framed pictures on the mantle, but now they’re stacked in the corner on the floor because Remus was tired of constantly picking them up. “It knocks my pictures down in there,” he says, looking at the sad pile of them, “but that’s really the only thing.”
“Let’s see the bedroom,” Lily suggests.
James clicks his tongue. “Easy, Evans. At least try to wait till I’m not in the room, won’t you?”
“Hush, Potter.” She scowls at her husband, then places her hand on Remus’s forearm. “Don’t listen to him. Let’s keep going.”
Remus offers James a small smile, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood, and he takes them down the corridor. “This is my bedroom,” he says, twisting the knob and swinging the first door open. “But we both sleep in here lately. It’s warmer and, well… I’d rather Teddy not be alone.”
“Monster in my room,” Teddy murmurs, leaning his head against Remus’s thigh, wiping his face—and probably a running nose—into his trousers. He’s still hanging onto his hand.
Remus uses his crutch to push the door open the rest of the way, taking a step inside. “I was sleeping the time I felt it crush my neck. Couldn’t breathe when I woke up, not until it stopped.”
Lily peers into the room. “What did you do to make it stop?”
Remus shrugs. “I didn’t do anything— couldn’t do anything. It just stopped.” He clears his throat. “Other than that, I can just… feel it in here. With us. I hear deep breathing that isn’t either of ours, and I swear sometimes I can make out the outline of something by the door when I turn out the light. Then it disappears when I turn it back on.” He sighs, squeezing Teddy’s hand. “So we sleep with the light on more often than not.”
“Da?” Teddy tugs on his hand and looks up at him. “Da?”
“Yes, love?”
“Left my etch-sketch in the car.”
Remus reaches a finger from where their hands are linked, brushing it against Teddy’s cheek. “That’s alright. We’ll get it later, okay?”
Teddy looks at James, who’s lingering beside Remus, then at Remus again, then back to James. “I have a kitchen,” he says quietly.
James beams at him, eyes crinkling behind his glasses. “I saw it. It’s very nice, isn’t it?”
“No.” Teddy shakes his head, still pressing pretty close to Remus’s leg. “My kitchen.”
“He has a play kitchen,” Remus clarifies.
“Oh.” James nods knowingly, turning his attention back to Teddy, leaning over slightly. “Do you think I could see it?”
Teddy hesitates, then, “Yeah…” He slowly pulls his hand from Remus’s. “I can make eggs and toast.”
“That would be brilliant,” James says enthusiastically. “I’m absolutely starved, how did you know?”
Teddy lets out a little giggle. “I knew.”
“Let’s show him,” Remus encourages, nudging Teddy’s shoulder.
Teddy’s little feet patter through the corridor, to his bedroom door, the sound muffled by the rugs Remus put all over the house in an attempt to trap more heat. Remus and James follow, Lily close behind. The floor creaks beneath their shoes and the walls around them are decorated with faded, peeling grey paint and wood trim that’s rotting away, eaten by bugs over the years. There’s a lot that still needs done, Remus bought the house knowing it would be a project, that it would require some hard work and patience. Though perhaps he wasn’t quite prepared for just how much it would cost— he definitely wasn’t prepared to need to solve a demon activity problem beforehand.
“My kitchen,” Teddy declares as they all shuffle into his bedroom, pointing at the set in the corner.
“My, is that a kitchen,” Lily says affectionately. Teddy smiles at that, which fills Remus’s chest with warmth.
James crouches next to Teddy, then sinks to his knees. “I believe I was told eggs and toast were on the menu?”
Teddy hums a confirmation, and he begins rummaging around in the cabinets to pull out the fake plastic food and cooking utensils, scattering them all over the floor.
“Do you always use the crutch?” Lily asks curiously, her voice low, looking from her husband to Remus.
Remus looks down at the crutch with the question, twisting his arm to move it. The last few attacks, he was able to get away with just his cane. “Um…” He looks back up, back at James and Teddy playing. “No, I don’t.” He sighs. “I’m in the middle of a multiple sclerosis flare-up.”
“Ah,” Lily says, nodding. “Is it bad?”
“Honestly,” Remus says, “this is probably the worst relapse I’ve had.” Walking hurts, standing hurts, getting out of bed is equivalent to climbing a mountain— and tumbling down it, hitting every rock and ledge on the way. The left half of his body is growing increasingly weak, he’s dizzy with every movement, and, even now, pain pulses in his knee so badly that he’s sweating under his coat.
Lily frowns at him, and her features are soft. It makes her good at looking sympathetic. “I’m sorry,” she says.
Remus shrugs her off. “S’alright. It’ll pass.” He hopes. It’s been a slow build up, the relapse stretched out over the last few weeks, so he has no idea how long it’ll take to die down again. He won’t take any strong pain killers because he has Teddy, and he really doesn’t want to have to drag the both of them to the hospital to get treatment.
He needs it to pass.
“Mmm, thank you,” James says, sitting with his legs criss-crossed on the floor, pretending to take a bite of the plastic fried egg that Teddy just handed to him. “This is delicious.”
It just occurs to Remus that James and Lily had probably skipped dinner plans to be here, to do this for him. “Did you want tea?” he says to Lily, because that’s really all he can offer. He starts to move before she answers. “I’ll put the kettle on— or would you rather coffee?”
“Remus.” Lily touches his arm gently to get him to stop. “We’re alright.”
“No, I was—” He suddenly feels overwhelmed. This is all… a lot. Lily and James are being helpful, wonderful, but their presence—and what they bring with them—puts so much more weight on his shoulders. So many more problems to solve. He shifts his arm away from her. “I was going to make some for myself anyway.”
Lily searches his face, and she’s good at reading people, at reading him, he can tell. She drops her hand, leaving more space between them for Remus to breathe. “Okay,” she says. She looks at Teddy and James, then smiles back at him. “I think I’m going to have some of these famous eggs and toast first. I can bring these two out in a minute, alright?”
Remus licks his lips, fending off the rising panic. “Yeah,” he says. “Thanks. I’ll— Thanks.”
Lily turns from him in a dismissive way, waving him off and approaching Teddy, taking a seat on the floor by her husband. Remus watches her interact with his son for a moment, lost in it, feeling something akin to grief, then he leaves the room.
He makes it to the kitchen, manages to put the kettle on the burner, and has to sit down at one of the chairs while it heats up, leaning his crutch against the table. He cradles his head in his hands, both elbows resting on the table, hunched over and giving into the pain for just a second. His head hurts and he can’t remember the last time it didn’t.
None of this seems like it’s going away any time soon. The hint of grief he feels is for a simple life. One he craves but will never have. One he’ll never be able to give Teddy. All he wants is to—
His crutch is suddenly wrenched from the table and crashes into the cabinets, the ones across the room.
It clatters on the floor.
Remus stares at it, his heart pounding. The hair on the back of his neck is stood up, it feels like someone’s standing over him and breathing in his ear. Lily calls from Teddy’s bedroom and asks if he’s alright.
There’s no logical explanation. None except what Lily and James can offer.
Remus exhales a shaky breath. “Fuck.”