dive into you

by ssentimentals

Summary:

His scent hits Oscar like a truck: Lando smells like everything Oscar wishes to forget. Lando smells like a sunny day at the shore, when you can taste sea salt on your tongue, when sun rays don’t burn you down, but cradle you gently instead. Lando smells like roar of waves, like wet sand, like joy seeping through your fingertips. Lando smells like a painful reminder of the best memories of Oscar’s life, the ones he’ll never get to relive. Oscar sort of hates him for that.

Chapter 1: 1

It’s only early October but the sky is already as grey and cloudy as if winter is about to come tomorrow. Oscar shivers: summer heat began to fade two weeks ago, and now only small remnants of lingering warmth stay in the air, persistent enough to not go away. All the leaves are already changing colors, transforming from vivid green to faded yellow with a frightening speed. Under normal conditions pups would be super focused, because on Fridays Oscar tortures them with basic math – learning numbers but today is not a normal day. Logan actually advised him to cancel the lessons because no way pups would be able to focus, and Oscar should’ve listened to him – every single cute face in the class was glued to the windows from the beginning of the lesson. Oscar is strict, but he can’t deny that even his curiosity is picked with today’s official event – packs merger did not happen for years, after all. ‘Okay, since none of you are paying attention to me anyway, then you’re free to go out.’

A loud chorus of ‘yes!’ makes him smile and shake his head fondly as pups scatter from the classroom without even saying goodbye. Some of them remember their manners though and turn around to wave at him cutely before storming off after others. Their loud chatter can be heard from miles away and even when Oscar closes everything off and walks towards the main square, he hears their excited ‘have they already arrived?’ and ‘is this new pack? where is new pack?’ questions. And it’s not just them – their entire village buzzes with nerves and excitement. His mother told him that the last time packs merged over fifty years ago and that happened out of necessity during the War and well. History always repeats itself in some ways.

‘This is crazy,’ Logan voices out, meaning the excitement of people. He approaches him with arms full of two huge cany baskets filled with red beans. ‘Elders insisted on these red beans, by the way. Can’t believe that they still believe in this superstition.’

Oscar takes one of the baskets, fist bumping his friend. ‘They are Elders, of course they believe in superstitions.’

Logan shrugs. ‘Wonder what they’re going to think of us once we’ll just start throwing red beans at their feet. Reckon they’ll turn away the very same second, deciding that we’re crazy? Although from what we heard of them, maybe they are the crazy ones, huh.’

For the last two months this packs merger issue has been the main topic of their small village. Everyone gossiped about the other pack and whatever information reached Oscar ranged from beyond ridiculous to beyond terrifying. He heard enough to know that packs there are nothing like packs in the South. Oscar has never travelled there, but he heard enough from occasional sales caravans or passing travelers that packs in the North are… unique. They never lost our roots, people said. They are the most connected to the wolves within. It’s rather intriguing because as far as Oscar knows, there’s not a single person in any pack in the South who still changes into their wolf form. His mother told him that after the War everything changed, and their ancestors decided that keeping peace required letting go of their animal side. Oscar himself never changed into his wolf form since he grew up as a pup, around six years old. One of the travelers, passing through their village a month ago, told everyone who listened that they are animals in the North. That they still had strict hierarchy between alphas, betas and omegas in their packs, that they did all the rituals for the forest deities. That they fought tooth and nail with Outlanders, that some of them could speak to the mighty goddess Ala herself. Oscar had no idea what to believe in: he knew that North and West packs were more… traditional, for the better lack of words. His mother was from the North pack herself. It’s strange for him to think of the world where his status as a beta actually means something – it never mattered here. Everyone treated each other equally and Oscar never thought anything of his status, can’t even begin to wrap his head of the idea that he might be treated differently based on something that he couldn’t control. It’s even stranger to think that some of them can be connected to the deities, to the wolves within. Oscar hasn’t heard a thing from his wolf in ages since he stopped transforming. Whether it's good or bad is not up to him to decide, South packs lived this way for many years and he’s not here to challenge or question it.

‘Crazy or not, we need them,’ Oscar settles for this at last, lowering his voice as they reach big crowd. ‘Outlanders became a real threat.’

Logan nods solemnly, his expression darkening. His usually barely there cream butter scent turns bitter as he grits: ‘If this pack can keep us safe from those motherfuckers, then I’ll let them do whatever.’

Oscar shares the sentiment wholeheartedly – packs in the North are warriors. And this is the main reason of the merger – their pack will offer them better conditions to live (finally far from the cold and short resources), while they will offer protection from Outlanders who have set sights on South’s rich harvests. Sounds rather sensible on the paper, but Oscar knows how nervous everyone is about the prospect of welcoming a completely different pack inside. He opens his mouth to say so to his friend, when the sudden silence makes him pause.

‘They are here!’

It’s rather… dull. Oscar did not expect a very festive or colorful arrival, but he also didn’t think it’d be this simple. He and Logan step closer to the gates, pushing youngsters out of the way to stand next to the Elders. Oscar catches sight of his mom – tired eyes staring wearily at the gates, bunch of pups huddled next to her with their mouths opened in shock. He supposes little ones are rather disappointed because there’s no carriage, no fanfare – just large group of people coming close but then stopping, not reaching the gates. They don’t breach the outskirts of the forest, but even from this distance Oscar feels it and he guesses everyone else does too – the scent. Unfamiliar, but undoubtedly powerful, cold as an ice – just this scent alone commands submission in the most basic way scents can.

‘Holy shit,’ Logan scrunches his nose, moving closer to Oscar. ‘This- fuck. Are they all alphas there?’

Oscar squints. Without his glasses he can’t see shit, but just from the scent he guesses that Logan is correct – majority of the group are certainly alphas with scents like winter. Very fitting, he guesses, considering where they are from.

‘Jos Verstappen,’ one of their Elders steps outside of the gates, his strong voice easily carries to the other side. ‘I welcome you and your pack to the South.’

One man starts coming closer. He’s tall and his hair is the color of wheat Logan deals with every summer. His stride is purposeful, and his words shake the audience to the core: ‘Jos Verstappen is dead. We lost my father in the ambush last month and since then I have solemnly taken the rule of the pack. My name is Maximillian Verstappen and I’m the official pack alpha.’

Hushed whispers rise from the crowd and tension rises as other Elders move too, now joining the oldest one at the gates. This wasn’t expected and Oscar clutches at the basket in his hands nervously, when air cracks with ice – alphas from the North pack consciously releasing more of their scent, establishing dominance.

‘My father brought me to be his successor, and I am aware of every single condition of packs merging agreement,’ Verstappen says with no trace of hesitation in his voice. ‘I assure you that I have no intention of changing or ruining it, I traveled all the way from the North to complete our part of agreement in good faith. Any promise is a promise given in front of the might goddess Ala and we keep promises like oaths.’

He's young, Oscar realizes with surprise. This new pack alpha is probably only a few years older than him, but everything in his posture screams of maturity beyond his age. He’s so young, but he’s holding his own against three Elders whose reputation is sacred from the Tano river to the Great mountains, from East to West. He’s standing there like a rock that won’t move, and his stance doesn’t change when several guard alphas step in, circling Elders. He doesn’t even flinch under scrutiny of Elders, puffing his chest up like he’s ready to fight.

‘You traveled far,’ Elder speaks at last, barely audible. The crowd is so silent though that his voice can be heard clearly. ‘You were ambushed in your way. You lost your father and many of your soldiers, I believe. We will let you in, Maximillian Verstappen. Your people need rest, and we were ready to welcome all of you. But the merger is not complete until we discuss all the matter with you alone.’

‘We trusted Jos,’ another Elder joins, leaning heavily on his cane. ‘Out of respect for him, we will let you in, we will give your people food and a place to rest. Tomorrow, we expect you at dawn at our side and we will decide whether to complete the merger or not.’

Oscar breathes out the air he’s been unconsciously holding. This seems reasonable enough and Maximillian seems to agree – he bows his head and briefly kneels before standing up. ‘Thank you,’ he says although his tone lacks any gratefulness.

‘And stop this posturing,’ Elder suddenly adds. ‘My people are not a threat to yours; tell your alphas to calm down with their aggressive scenting. Respect our traditions here.’

The pack alpha only nods. Elders go back one by one, one of them stops in front of Charles to squeeze his shoulder and order: ‘Make sure they are all placed in the further wings. Give them food, don’t be hostile, but don’t let them close to the center either. Cancel the festive dinner for tonight, we’ll pay our respect to Jos Verstappen’s passing.’

‘Will be done, Elder.’ Charles bows deeply and quickly turns to the crowd, ushering them to move. ‘That’s it, the show is over, everyone can go back home. Move guys, they’ll need space to enter.’

‘Guess we can throw away these,’ Logan motions to the baskets filled with red beans. He puts his one on the ground next to Oscar’s feet and mutters: ‘I’m gonna head back, will go to the cooks to tell them that the big dinner is cancelled and help them prepare food for this new pack. Just bring those back to the storage house, yeah?’

Oscar hums in agreement. The crowd slowly disappears with disappointed sighs and weary eyes; very soon main entrance to the gates is free except for the two guards and Charles. Oscar stays unmoving even when his arms start to burn from holding the basket; Charles might need his help and for some reason he can’t look away from the North pack. He watches as Maximillian Verstappen runs back to them, watches as they slowly move towards the gates. They expected a large group of at least 150 people, but Verstappen informs the guards that there are barely eighty of them. The closer they get, the better Oscar can see and what he sees makes something tight curl in his chest uncomfortably. They all look horrible – their clothes are dirty and torn in many places from the travel, faces carry weariness and tiredness, some of them are obviously injured. They come in small groups of ten, all sticking close to each other like one wrong move might set something off. There are not many children – Oscar has a habit of counting kids in the class – here he counted only ten. Mothers clutch at them like someone might take them away and it breaks Oscar’s heart a little – it’s cruel that they know this much harm. There are almost no elders either, Oscar guesses they didn’t manage to survive the traveling.

‘To this side, please. Go all the way till that orange building and wait for me there. To this side, please.’ Charles motions, his smile is sincere enough in its friendliness, but his eyes show how shocked he is by what he sees.

People in the South are not warriors. Looking at the North pack right now is like looking at another reality. Oscar barely moves, frozen as a statue, as the last people enter the gates. Maximillian Verstappen is the last one, his face an impassive mask of polite indifference. Next to him, two curly haired men enter, scanning the entire square with their eyes. The taller one moves towards their pack, casting Charles a sideways glance so not subtle that has an omega bristling. ‘To this side, please,’ Charles repeats through gritted teeth.

Verstappen looks around. His eyes are icy blue, and his gaze is as sharp as his scent – winter curls the edges, and Oscar swears he feels the cold coming off him. This pack alpha smells like burnt ground, like coil, like he doesn’t hesitate before ripping someone’s head off. When he turns to Charles, he looks at him long enough in silence for even Oscar to start feeling uncomfortable, while Charles swallows audibly under his gaze.

‘Thank you, omega.’ Verstappen finally lets out and it comes out surprisingly soft – Charles looks up at him with gaping mouth and wide eyes. ‘Show us the way, please.’

It takes a few seconds for Charles to reboot. Oscar can see that he is thrown off by being called out on his status, can see that a haughty remark of ‘my name is Charles!’ is on the tip of his tongue, but his friend has enough wit to understand that opening his mouth and starting to argue is not the wisest decision. He nods stiffly, eyes blazing with something that is very Charles before turning to the left and silently asking pack alpha to follow. Verstappen then turns to the only person left from his pack, pinning him with a heavy gaze. ‘Don’t even think about it.’

The other guy stands almost whole head shorter than pack alpha, but nothing in his aura comes off as submissive. He scoffs, rolling his eyes: ‘I will go up till the borders.’

‘No, you will go with Daniel and get your wound checked.’

Oscar turns to look at the other alpha and is momentarily knocked off by the scent. He blinks, clutching the basket harder in his hands. He hasn’t felt it in such a long time, he forgot it even existed. The long hidden memories start to bubble, trying to get back on the surface with just one whiff of a certain scent. No. Nononono-

‘I’m going, Max. It’s final.’

Oscar doesn’t look up. He stares at the red beans and focuses on them, tries to ignore the suffocating scent that wraps around him like a vice. ‘You will just check the nearest corners and come back.’ Verstappen moves, looming over shorter alpha. ‘I need you in one piece, Lando. Don’t be stupid.’

It’s clearly an order and one that this alpha – Lando – doesn’t like one bit if his huffing is any indicator. He turns away from Verstappen and silently goes towards the gates in a shocking show of disrespect in Oscar’s eyes, but pack alpha only rolls his eyes at this. ‘Is he not coming with us?’ Charles asks nervously. His sweet omega scent of cherries and chocolate turns slightly bitter. ‘The Elders gave clear instructions-‘

‘He’s going on the border check for the safety. To ensure that no one is around,’ Verstappen replies, cutting him off. His eyes never stray from Lando’s retrieving figure. ‘He’s the fastest of us all, he’ll come back quickly. Right, Lando?’

There’s an edge to his question, one that is impossible to ignore. Lando stops next to the gates, turning to his pack alpha. Like this he stands closest to Oscar and it’s impossible to ignore him. He stands close enough for his scent to invade Oscar’s lungs like an unwelcome intruder, close enough for him to see that his skin is molten gold despite coming from the coldest region, that his curls are color of dark honey his mom prepares for the pups when they get sick. Close enough to see that Lando’s eyes are stormy green – the same color as the thing Oscar hates the most.

‘Right.’ Lando lets out short and clipped, obviously unhappy with an order.

He turns and meets Oscar’s gaze dead on. The power of it makes Oscar freeze like a deer caught in highlights – Lando’s gaze is too heavy to ignore. He feels it all over his skin in the way he never did before – Lando looks like at him like he sees right through him. Frustration and disdain in his gaze shifts to something else as he takes Oscar in. Lando’s nostrils flare as he not subtly takes a big gulp of air – with mortification Oscar realizes that he is trying to get his scent. Lando breathes in like he’s trying to get his lungs full of it, something flickers in his eyes, like a spark of recognition but it’s gone too quickly for Oscar to believe it wasn’t a figment of his imagination. He blinks and then Lando’s gone, out of the gates. Oscar’s legs move on his own, carrying him to watch alpha’s transforming amidst the run, clothes tearing off him and a large brown wolf leaping into the air, disappearing in the dense forest trees. Oscar watched many transformations of pups before, but this was different – this was perfectly controlled, flawlessly executed transformation mid-action that looked as easy and as natural as breathing. His heart makes a strange flip, and something twists in his chest as he stares and stares at the forest. What he saw was probably the most fascinating thing he ever witnessed. He never connected with his own wolf within for many, many years, but what he just saw makes him want to-

Without thinking, he reaches out, grabs a handful of red beans and throws them on the ground right where Lando was mere seconds ago. For luck, Elders used to say. For welcoming home. For safe travels. And for –

‘Come back safely,’ Oscar whispers, throwing more red beans on the road.

He stands for a few more moments, conflicted with all the mess of emotions within, inexplicably drawn to the wolf that disappeared. Oscar is brought back to the present by awkward coughs from the guards; he colors red so fast, he feels how his cheeks burn with embarrassment. Mighty Ala, what was that? When he turns back, Maximillian and Charles are still there, watching him with different expressions. Charles looks at him like he’s grown a second head, while Verstappen looks at him with a gaze of steel. Not knowing what to say, Oscar throws red beans at pack alpha’s feet too, trying to save himself.

‘Tradition,’ he says, wincing when his voice cracks. ‘For luck.’

Maximillian looks down at the red beans at his feet and then back at Oscar. He kneels and takes one bean in between his fingers, looking back at beta. Something tells Oscar that pack alpha knows other meanings of the red beans too; his scrutinizing gaze makes Oscar shiver. ‘For luck,’ he repeats, standing up. ‘Lando or I don’t need it. But thank you either way, beta.’ Maximillian turns then to Charles: ‘Shall we?’

Charles nods, not hiding his wince at hearing Oscar’s status being called out. ‘Of course. Please follow me.’

They leave and Oscar stands there, alone in the middle of the square. There’s a trace of scent in the air, one that he chooses to ignore as he bows to the guards and turns around. His fingers tremble as he picks up the second basket, but Oscar ignores this as well. Packing them back to the storage room, he ignores the brooding storm that sets off in his chest – he doesn’t want to remember the last time he felt this unsettled, but memories are stronger than him-

‘You good?’ Oscar blinks, stopping mere feet away from Yuki, who looks at him with one eyebrow perfectly arched. He’s holding storage’s door open. ‘I’ve been calling your name for the last two minutes.’

‘I- yeah.’ Oscar shakes his head, but memories stubbornly stay in front of his eyes. ‘I brought these back.’

Yuki sends him a weird glance but thankfully doesn’t press; he simply takes one of the baskets and shows Oscar where to put them. ‘What a shitshow, huh? Their leader is dead, his young son is apparently pack alpha now,’ Yuki muses, motioning for Oscar to go. ‘I wasn’t there, but everyone’s already gossiping.’

Oscar only hums, his mind far too boggled by haunting thoughts to come up with a more intelligent reply. Yuki closes up and mutters: ‘About breakfast tomorrow - they won’t fit in our usual space. Logan said that they’re not allowed to go to the center, so we need people to run back and forth, bringing them meals. I’ll be up by five, you and others can come closer to eight.’

It’s Saturday, school is closed. Yuki knows very well that Oscar will be free in the mornings, so he’s not even trying to veil it as asking for help – he simply states the fact that he’s needed. Oscar nods and gets startled when Yuki barks out a short laugh. ‘You must be really out of it if you’re not complaining about waking up early.’ Yuki doesn’t do affection, so instead he pushes his hand on Oscar’s chest, tapping twice. ‘All good, yeah? Mom’s good?’

Oscar’s throat is dry as he swallows and nods. ‘Yeah.’

Yuki stares at him for a few beats before nodding. ‘See you tomorrow, Piastri.’

Oscar doesn’t answer. He tries to shake off this feeling, tries to come home in a state that won’t make his mother worry, but when he enters his house as quietly as he can, his mother is fast asleep on the couch in the living room. Her light scent of chamomile settles on Oscar as a safe blanket, easing the knot in his chest. Tiptoeing, he carefully covers her body with a wool plaid. He lets himself look at her, really look at her – tiredness seemed to seep in her bones, make a home at her face. Even asleep she doesn’t look anything like she used to, when this house carried many more voices. Oscar guesses he looks much more different, too. His heart aches as he leans in and places a small kiss on her forehead, hoping that at least in her dreams she is not haunted by the harsh reality.

When he goes back to his room, he thinks of the North pack. He thinks of their dirty clothes from the battle and travels and thinks that in his pack dirty clothes are from working on the fields. He thinks of how people in the North pack smell of winter and blood, while people in the South smell of wheat and flowers. He thinks of how unbreakable Maximillian Verstappen looked when he stood in front of the Elders as he brushes his teeth. But most of all he thinks of the gorgeous transformation of a large brown wolf. When Oscar closes his eyes, he thinks that Lando didn’t smell of winter or blood. He wishes he did. Anything would’ve been better than this undeterred, unfiltered, unmasked scent of the sea.

Chapter 2: settling in, part 1

‘You look dead on your feet.’

‘Feel like it, too.’ Oscar sighs, rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn. ‘I’ll power through.’

He managed to sleep for an hour at most; nightmares of the things he wanted to forget, of the things he wished were untrue caught him in their vices and held him there for what felt like forever. Oscar woke up drenched in sweat to his mother’s low murmuring – unfamiliar words whispered in an old tongue brought him back to consciousness. She looked at him like she knew, like his heartbreak was hers and maybe sharing this thing meant to make it easier, but it only burdened Oscar more. He closed his eyes to the sound of her whispered prayers, trying not to let it show on his face how he hated when she prayed to the very same thing that took their family away.

An hour later he woke up again and this time just gave up on the sleep, went to the shower and then rushed to help Yuki. At seven am he was already next to the small beta, chopping onions and washing rice and that’s how Logan found him. ‘Their pack alpha is already with the Elders,’ his friend informs him. ‘Fernando and Carlos’ dad are with them too.’

‘Shut up and get to work,’ Yuki materializes out of nowhere with a basket full of fresh bread. ‘Go carry this to our place, Kimi and Ollie are already setting the table. Oscar, there’s another basket on the corner, bring it to the North pack. You know where they’re staying, right?’

Oscar stiffens.

‘We can switch,’ Logan instantly volunteers, casting short glance at Oscar. ‘I can go there, mate, no worries.’

Oscar breathes out. He can’t really avoid it, can he? He has to man up at some point. With a forced smile that doesn’t reach his eyes he turns to Logan and shakes his head. ‘I got it.’

Logan moves closer, worriedly whispering: ‘You sure? It’s okay, I can go there.’

Oscar hasn’t been to that part of their village in the last ten years. He preferred staying closer to the forest than moving to the other side, where Tano river falls into the Abena sea, where he last saw his father and sisters, where death lurks in the depth of the green-blue water. He stayed far from it out of fear first, then out of anger and then all of the emotions mixed into the hatred that poisoned his soul. The sea wasn’t his friend, after all. It took away everything Oscar loved.

‘I’m sure,’ his voice doesn’t crack, thankfully.

Logan doesn’t understand the full extent of Oscar’s animosity to the sea, but what he knows is enough for him to never question Oscar’s behavior. Oscar feels the knot in his chest loosen a little at the thought of how grateful he is for Logan. His friend looks at him again, checking to see if Oscar is absolutely certain and only then moves to obey Yuki’s order. The kitchen is bustling with people and noise, so Oscar gladly takes bread along with eggs and rice and marches away.

As a pup he used to love running back to the shore, letting waves playfully lurk him in, feeling like sea was calling on for him. The road he’s taking now used to bring so much joy back in the days: racing his sisters to the shore, laughing at getting splashed, watching ships from afar. His every step now echoes with pain, with deep longing, dull anger. The closer he comes, the stronger the sea salt scent grows, the harsher the wind becomes. The closer he comes, the quicker his heart beats in his chest, the more vivid memories turn. They are unwelcome and yet incredibly persistent; they just refuse to let up. Oscar stops right next to the long staircase, which leads to the beach. Thanks to his glasses, in the distance he can see a lone figure close to the water. The second he clocks untamed curls he knows who it is – the very same alpha, whose eyes resemble the sea in front of him to a frightening degree. Oscar watches him from afar for a few moments and turns to the left towards little houses before the nauseous feeling in his chest can come back. He ignores it all and moves on autopilot, stopping only when he comes to the first houses on the outskirts. People step back once they notice him, their eyes track his every movement with sharpness that comes from being used to attacks and threats. The scent in the air is thick with tension and coldness. Oscar hunches his shoulders and stares at the ground as he walks by to where Charles has already set up four tables. He greets Oscar with a wave and tells him where to put everything he brought.

‘I’ll go back to bring more,’ Oscar says quietly. Charles’s scent has bitter notes in it, so in an even lower voice he questions: ‘Everything’s okay?’

Charles nods, but his movements are jerky and rushed. ‘Yeah, just- a lot to take in.’ Charles pauses and then takes a deep breath, composing himself. ‘I think they would’ve died if they didn’t reach us, I- most of them are barely standing, Oscar.’

Oscar dares to look up. People gather around them, but no one steps close; everyone hovers at the edge of some imaginary line they drew, not coming to the tables. Their sullen expressions, their torn clothes, their bruised and skinny frames. Oscar would’ve felt incredibly bad if it wasn’t for one thing - for their strength. For the way they all stand tall despite obviously being malnourished. For the way their spirit is not broken even if from the outside it doesn’t seem like it. He feels their quiet resilience with every fiber of his being; maybe they can’t be any other way, coming from the North.

The fact that they are just staring and not coming closer creates certain tension in the air that’s impossible to ignore. ‘Esteban is here with Laura, they’re assessing their state and who to take to the healers,’ Charles continues. ‘Haven’t seen pups yet, I think they’re keeping them away from us.’

‘Understandable.’ Oscar looks around, noticing one tall guy coming closer to them. ‘Did they tell you who’s in charge while their pack alpha is with the Elders?’

‘No, why?’

‘We’re about to find out.’ Oscar mutters and then turns fully to the stranger, asking in a much louder voice: ‘Can we help you?’

‘My name is Alex, I’m the head alpha when Max and Daniel are not here.’ Alex stopped when he reached the edge of the table. ‘I wanted to ask if you needed any help from our side and if I can take some of the food to my mate, who’s unable to come out here.’

‘Is he sick? We need to tell Esteban and Laura,’ Charles chimes in, worried.

Alex shakes his head. ‘He’s not sick, he’s just tired after the visions.’

Oscar hopes surprise is not evident on his face. Instead, he opts for what he hopes is the best answer in the most neutral tone imaginable: ‘Of course, Alex. You can take the food and in fact, everyone can take their place at the tables and start eating once Charles prepares everything.’

‘You can help with servings,’ Charles offers with a small smile. His scent returns to its normal state, bitterness all gone. ‘And everyone who wants to help can come forward, I think it’ll make everything faster.’

With the corner of his eyes Oscar sees some of the youngsters in their pack coming with more food and water and he beckons them close. ‘Let us know whether this is sufficient or not. No promises, but we can try to fetch more for you.’

Alex watches him with an expression that’s very similar to how Maximillian stared at him yesterday – mix of wariness and careful examination. Oscar doubts that he can exude any threat, but he still bows his head a little to the side, a gesture that draws a surprised gasp from Charles. A flicker of surprise passes on Alex’s face before he smiles and nods in acknowledgement. Once Alex steps closer, all others seem to unfreeze and very soon Charles is surrounded by plenty of people from the North pack. Oscar moves to the side, not wanting to be a nuisance; Charles is much better than him in handling these situations. With an easy and sincere smile, he attends to every single stranger – Oscar can practically feel how his warmth breaks through the tough barrier of people from the North pack. He smiles when he hears a quiet ‘thank you’ and his smile brightens tenfold, when one by one mothers seem to let their pups out. Oscar watches them attentively: they are all so small, barely four winters old, a bit unsteady on the legs either from being used to staying in a wolf form or from exhaustion of the trip. He notices how their noses twitch as they step closer to Charles, his scent unfamiliar but no doubt warm and intriguing as any omegas scent would be; they stare at him like he’s something fascinating. Oscar supposes it’s true to some extent, tales of Charles’ beauty reached even the furthest regions as salesmen said.

‘Anything else?’ Mick, one of the youngest alphas of their pack, appears beside him. ‘We carried everything Yuki told us. Should we bring anything back or…?’

‘Stay behind with few other guys to help Charles, I’ll go back and check with Yuki.’ Oscar replies. ‘I think-‘

‘What did you do?’ Mick interrupts, moving closer and speaking quieter. ‘With that alpha. When you like, tilted your head, kinda bowed? Shown your neck. What was that?’

Oscar stills. He can answer this question in many ways, but the most truthful reply will sound extremely simple – it felt right to do so. He didn’t think before doing it, his body moved on its own and that’s… frightening. There’s no unspoken etiquette or written rules about how alphas, betas and omegas behave around each other in the South; that’s more of a North or West thing, regions more traditional in their upbringing. Oscar’s mother is from the North pack, but he was born in the South and lived here his whole life, in a place where people bow out of respect, not out of your status. In a place where the neck is not shown as a sign of submitting, where your designation means close to nothing. He shouldn’t have done that, and Oscar’s only ever done it to his father during fights- also unconsciously – and always got berated for it afterwards. There’s nothing he can say that won’t come out as an excuse. Oscar shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s feeling out of his body since yesterday evening and now this? He did it instinctively. Intuitively. Somehow, it only makes everything worse.

‘Just a show of respect for their traditions,’ he finally answers in a monotone and bored voice. ‘They are more traditional as you probably heard.’

Mick, thankfully, seems to buy that lie seamlessly. He nods and whispers to Oscar like it’s a big dirty secret: ‘Yeah, I saw how couples here are scenting each other. That’s crazy.’

Oscar noticed that too: hard not to, when most of the people here come in pairs and make it obvious by sticking close and reeking of one another. His parents scented each other too; his mother did it to all of her kids, smothering them in her scent until Oscar couldn’t distinguish Hattie or Mae’s scents at all. But it’s his mother and Oscar knows how different his household was from everyone else’s.

‘Yeah,’ he mutters, sounding distant even to his own ears. ‘Crazy.’

He turns to leave after patting Mick’s shoulder awkwardly. When the houses are not far behind, he pauses, listening in. When Oscar came this place was silent, but now there’s a low murmur of hushed whispers and quiet talks – tension from before has disappeared in the air. He briefly wonders how the meeting is going between this pack’s alpha and Elders, when a familiar scent makes him pause. He doesn’t have to turn around to know who’s coming up, who will appear at the beginning of the staircase. With a sigh, he turns, adjusting his glasses. Sure enough, first mop of curly hair and then alpha from yesterday – Lando, his mind supplies helpfully – appears. His scent hits Oscar like a truck: Lando smells like everything Oscar wishes to forget. Lando smells like a sunny day at the shore, when you can taste sea salt on your tongue, when sun rays don’t burn you down, but cradle you gently instead. Lando smells like roar of waves, like wet sand, like joy seeping through your fingertips. Lando smells like a painful reminder of the best memories of Oscar’s life, the ones he’ll never get to relive. Oscar sort of hates him for that. He squints a little, looking at the alpha in front of him. Lando looks like he hasn’t slept at all during the night, and the left side of his tunic is smeared in red blotches, some of which look too bright to not be new. He moves without a delay, body exuding strength even in this state, walking past Oscar without sparing him a second glance. And it should’ve ended like that – both of them walking in their respective directions with no words exchanged, but Oscar’s stupid mouth decides to blurt out the most unnecessary comment ever made in the history of humans: ‘You should get that checked.’

Lando stops and turns to him, scowl evident on his face. ‘What?’

It comes out more as a growl and Oscar barely resists the urge to flinch. He motions to alpha’s left side: ‘We have very good healers back in the village, they can help you with that.’

Lando stares at him quizzically like he can’t place what’s wrong and it takes Oscar a few moments to realize that yesterday he was without his glasses; he self-consciously pushes them higher. Lando’s eyes stay fixated on them though as if he’s never seen glasses before. ‘You wear glasses?’

Oscar blinks. He’s not sure what to say; he obviously is wearing glasses, considering how he’s got pair of them on his face right now. So the only thing he manages to do is nod jerkily. Lando tilts his head still with that puzzled expression on his face. ‘You shouldn’t have bad eyesight though,’ he says matter-of-factly. ‘You’re a wolf.’

Irritation flares up, but Oscar stomps on it, swallowing down any sarcastic remarks. How can one be so tactless? The Elders never mentioned anything, but it goes without saying that they shouldn’t fight with anyone from this pack. Glancing at the guy in front of him, Oscar decides to drop this subject, instead muttering: ‘We brought food and water. You can find Esteban or Laura from our pack, they can lead you to the healers.’

He’s not sure what about this alpha makes everything inside of him frizzle uncomfortably – he just wants to get away as quickly as possible. Lando stares at him like he hasn’t heard a word he said, eyes fixed on Oscar’s form like they are glued there. His scent thickens, Oscar feels it move towards him, hover around him, unsure if it can land on his skin or not – Oscar hastily takes a step back. The scent instantly vanishes, Lando blinks dazedly and his lips part like he’s about to say something that will make Oscar question everything he knows about himself. So, in a rare moment of cowardice from his side, Oscar runs. He turns without a word and sprints back to the village, not turning once.

=-=

It's closer to the early evening when news reach everyone – the merger has been settled. Oscar learns about it from Logan, who stumbles into his house without knocking, but with a bag of onions. ‘It’s a done deal, mate!’ Logan instantly brightens when he sees Oscar’s mother in the living room. ‘Oh, Nicole, hi! I got you onions you asked for.’

Oscar huffs and rolls his eyes at the way Logan skips to his mom with open arms, hugging her tightly. Nicole kisses his cheek and pats his face lovingly, making Logan preen under attention. It’s a nice sight and all, but Oscar was about to go for a bath, and he rather not heat up the water again. ‘You came here to just say that?’

‘Someone should keep you two up with all the talks,’ Logan shrugs like it’s not a big deal and settles next to Nicole, eyes gleaming with excitement. ‘I have so much to tell.’

Nicole shakes her head fondly, running her fingers through Logan’s dirty blond hair gently. ‘Enlighten us, dear.’ Oscar turns to go back to the bath, when she calls: ‘Oscar, don’t be rude. Your friend came, your bath can wait.’

‘Yes, Oscar, don’t be rude!’ Logan copies, having so much fun watching as Oscar’s left eye twitches at his fake high-pitched voice. ‘You can stop pretending that you’re not interested in the gossip, it’s okay, it’s just us here, me and Nicole don’t judge.’

Oscar breathes out loudly through his note, keeping up the image of being incredibly annoyed even when he obediently marches back to the living room. Logan winks at him and turns back to his mother, spilling everything he heard in a rapid manner. He goes into details about the merger, how now people from the North pack are allowed to get into their designated homes, how tasks are going to be split between everyone, how Maximillian spent hours describing their trip to the South and the ambush. Logan then quickly jumps to his own observations of the new pack, adding bits and pieces from what he heard of others. ‘They have an omega there, his name’s George and he has visions from the mighty Ala herself,’ he murmurs, awe clear in his voice. ‘Guys are saying that he sees the future. Crazy, right? I mean I want to believe in this cause it’d be so cool, but it sounds too farfetched for it to ever be true.’

Oscar’s mother hums. ‘We used to have a chosen omega too in my old pack. Her name was Laila and she also saw the future. Once in a while deity Ala chooses omega and blesses this person with her visions, small fragments of various possibilities of what can happen. It’s not crazy; it’s a gift.’

Oscar feels the familiar tingle spreading through his spine whenever his mother talks about her old pack. She was happy with his father, he knows; but she always speaks of her old pack with such wistfulness and sadness that he wonders sometimes whether she regrets coming to the South, to the place where her traditions were made fun of, where everything was completely different from what she knew. Even now his mother has this hazy look in her eyes like she’s not here, like memories took her away from them. Oscar shifts, planning to reach out for her, when she blinks out of her reverie, turning back to Logan. ‘I’m sorry for interrupting you, my dear. Please go on.’

‘No-no, it’s fine. Hm, what else? Majority of them are alphas, but I think that’s well established already. Guys were talking about this pack alpha, Maximillian, how he’s apparently the biggest wolf ever. But I think those are just lies and all, how could they possibly see? Oh, Ollie said he heard some talks about how there’s an alpha there who’s a chosen from God Tano himself, but that just sounds mad.’

Oscar blinks. Logan goes on about the new regime that they’ll probably have, but Oscar’s mind is stuck on his last sentence and plays it over in his head like a broken record. God Tano, God of the rivers and seas, has chosen an alpha from the North pack? Immediately certain blue-green eyes invade his mind along with untamed curls and sun kissed skin. Oscar shakes his head. It’s impossible. Or, Oscar guesses, everything is possible for higher beings, but Gods and deities always chose omegas only as their messengers – omegas were considered treasures from the beginning of this world. It was said that they have a deeper connection with this realm and that’s why some of them are given this… gift. If one can call it so, because if to trust Alex George gets sick after his visions – can this be considered a gift then if it brings suffering? Oscar thinks of a lone figure standing at the shore, thinks of the sea salt breeze invading his lungs and if it’s true, if there truly is an alpha who is chosen by the God Tano himself, Oscar has no doubt who exactly it is.

‘Winter is coming, we definitely need some extra hands with the harvest,’ Logan continues. ‘I think they can also help us with trade when ships come. Oh, and Oscar, maybe you can take their pups in your classes too? What do you think?’

Oh. Oscar hasn’t thought of it. ‘Sure,’ he agrees readily. ‘I think their pups are more into running around as wolves though, but I’m not against the idea.’

‘It would be nice,’ Nicole says in a quiet voice. Her brown eyes focus on her son as she smiles warmly. ‘North pups are different, of course. But it’d be good for them to learn. And maybe they can teach our pups something, too. Something different.’

Oscar doesn’t comment on that. He knows where the main difference lies and knows why his mother looks at him with such longing – the connection with the wolf within is a topic that doesn’t rise in this community. His mother tried many times to suggest something else; her North roots couldn’t understand how with age the bond between a person and a wolf within fades and turns into nothing. They are parts of you, she used to tell Oscar and his sisters. But no one listened and soon she stopped pushing her vision once she learned that everyone regarded her kids weird because of it. For them, she stopped. But she never stopped believing. For her sake, Oscar nods. If there’s something he can do to make her eyes twinkle with happiness, he’ll do it without hesitation. ‘Yes, mom. I think so too.’

Logan doesn’t stay for long after that. He chats with Nicole for a few more minutes and then walks out with Oscar, shivering at the cold wind. The evenings are getting colder the closer the winter is. ‘She’s not getting better,’ Logan states softly, looking as sad as Oscar feels.

‘Yeah.’ Oscar’s voice doesn’t waver but admitting it out loud breaks his heart.

Logan chews on his bottom lip, thinking. His butter scent turns sour, tinged by his stress and sadness. ‘I still think you should talk to Fernando,’ he voices carefully, knowing what a touchy subject it is for Oscar. ‘Healers in the East can help her, Oscar.’

Oscar takes a deep breath. Reigns his anger in. It’s not Logan’s fault, he reminds himself. He doesn’t know and it’s not his fault. ‘I will think about it,’ he mutters, knowing very well that he won’t.

Logan holds his gaze for some moments but then nods, turning away. In years of them being best friends he learned when not to push Oscar very well. ‘Okay.’

‘Thanks, Logan. For stopping by.’ Oscar hopes at least some part of his voice conveys how sincerely grateful he is.

He seems to succeed, because Logan smiles widely and gives him a one-sided hug. ‘You’d be so bored without me, Piastri.’

‘You spelled peaceful wrong.’

‘Fuck you, mate!’ Logan laughs and it eases the weight from Oscar’s chest. ‘I’ll go, see you tomorrow!’

Oscar’s mother is in the kitchen, when Oscar comes back. His gaze falls on the mating bite on her neck, which faded into an ugly purple scar now. When mating pairs break due to one of the partners passing away, the mate bite either fully disappears or leaves a nasty scar. Healers in their village said it depended on whether the person let go of another one or not and Oscar, frankly, thinks it’s bullshit. But he doesn’t know any other theory and if what he heard is true then his mother hasn’t let go of his father in over ten years. It’d be poetic if it weren’t so damn heartbreaking.

‘Leave it, mom.’ Oscar steps closer and gently takes the knife out of her hands. ‘I’ll finish it myself. Go and rest.’

Nicole’s been supplying the healers of this village with all kinds of ointments and stuff her whole life: the best wild honey and ginger mix that helps with nasty colds, the most effective herbs mix for infections. Hattie used to call their kitchen a place of magic. ‘You don’t have to do the school thing only for me,’ his mother turns to him, taking his face in her warm hands. ‘You don’t have to do it to make me happy.’

Oscar shakes his head. He swallows hard, trying to push the lump in his throat somewhere back down. ‘I’ll do it,’ he says, not looking away from her. ‘For you and for them.’

‘Do it for yourself,’ she asks kindly. ‘These North pups… they can teach you so much, dearest.’

Oscar closes his eyes. What these small pups can possibly teach him? How to transform back into a wolf? Annoyingly enough, Lando’s comment about his eyesight comes back to mind and makes him scowl. The comment is annoying in its truth – if Oscar had a connection with his wolf, if he still transformed, he wouldn’t have had any problems. His glasses serve as a painful reminder that he doesn’t have it though and Lando- Lando is just a tactless twat.

‘I’m sure they can.’ Oscar opens his eyes. ‘I’ll try my best.’

His mother smiles. It doesn’t reach her eyes fully, but when she leans in and kisses his forehead, Oscar thinks that this should be enough. ‘Take me to them once they'll settle in, yeah? I want to meet everyone.’ Nicole lets Oscar walk her out of the kitchen. ‘I thought I’d never see this.’

‘What?’ Oscar asks, opening the door to her bedroom. He lets her pass and stays behind.

‘The times changing,’ she replies quietly, turning to him. ‘I never managed to do change a thing here. Maybe they will.’

Oscar doesn’t say anything on this mostly because he doesn’t know what to say. He hugs her goodnight and goes back to the bath that’s long overdue. He knows that times are changing. Oscar takes a deep breath and submerges himself under cold water. But whether this change is good? He doesn’t know.

Notes:

hi hi, update is here and i hope you're happy with it :') please let me know your thoughts! - nini

i hope you like oscar's portrayal here, hope his friendship with logan made you smile <3 there'll be more of lando in the next chapter! come talk to me on my tumblr: https://ssentimentals.tumblr.com/

Chapter 3: settling in, part 2

First week goes by too quickly for Oscar to take a breath – October fully came in its rights. Wherever Oscar’s gaze lands it’s all colored in pale yellow and dark brown colors: fallen leaves on the ground, bundles of collected wheat, tree’s bark full of gashes after recent storm, honey that his mother prepares for all pups who’ve fallen sick with an abrupt change of weather. October is not kind, has never been; October is filled with sweat running down your face as you try your best to reap the wheat, corn and rice, with your hands ending up all in blisters for picking up pumpkins, tomatoes and potatoes, with legs aching from squatting for too long to get the beetroots out. Everyone is involved in ripening and harvesting and with time Oscar learned to love this collective task for the sense of belonging it brings to his soul. It’s methodical and repetitive, lets his mind drift away somewhere far usually but with new pack joining he couldn’t really concentrate. The same can be said about all others though; everyone kept on turning back to look at the newcomers. The Elders made it clear from the first day that the new pack’s integration into the life of their village is expected to be quick due to winter fast approaching, which meant anyone who wasn’t with the healers had to join them on the fields. Oscar tried not to stare, choosing to help in areas much further from the center, where Fernando was giving instructions to new people. It’s hard to explain why he wants to avoid new pack members – it just seems like a good enough logic to prevent weird things (like how he tilted his head and showed his neck to Alex) happening.

‘I think we could use some break,’ Mick mutters, standing up and groaning at the pain in his knees. ‘Let’s go eat?’

Oscar looks up at the sky. It’s going to rain soon; he can tell it as the wind starts to pick up and grey clouds slowly start moving towards them. Wiping sweat from his forehead, he stands up too, instantly clocking groups moving towards the village for lunch. ‘You can go, I’ll stay here.’

Mick frowns, turning to look at him. ‘Why? Aren’t you hungry?’

In all truth Oscar is hungry, but the unease he feels whenever he looks at the North pack and sees their customs is too strong. ‘Yes, I’ll eat later. You should go though, don’t mind me.’

Mick shrugs and goes away, leaving Oscar alone with his thoughts. Alone with an ache inside his chest that has been growing for the past five days. Every time he sees members of North pack scenting each other, his chest tightens. Every time he catches a glimpse of their alphas transforming into wolves and running to check the borders and keep them safe, his heart squeezes uncomfortably. Every time he notices how aware everyone is of their status, how much more potent and stronger their scents are, lump forms in his throat. All his life Oscar tried to settle in, to learn how to mingle with the crowd despite it going against everything what his mother taught him. Everything about the North pack unsettles him, irks him, snatches his attention like a rash under his skin. He hates it. Hates even more the fact that the feeling growing in his chest is very similar to jealousy. Hates how very weird, irrational thoughts enter his mind. Thoughts full of probability, of how him and his mother were always different from this place, more like the North pack-

Oscar shakes his head, stamping these thoughts down. He didn’t even have his usual distraction in school, because as it’s the peak of the harvest, everyone is required to help here. With a huff, Oscar drops back to the squat – those potatoes are not going to be dug out by themselves, after all. He gets to work quietly, getting lost at the thought of the upcoming trade week. He’s stuck at a certain very stubborn root, when he hears sounds of slow footsteps. An unfamiliar scent of something sickly sweet like a syrup tickles his nose and when Oscar turns, he’s met with a tall stranger with foamy green eyes. He looks down at Oscar with a curious expression, his lean frame slightly bent to make him appear less intimidating. When the right corner of his mouth turns up in a small smile, Oscar decides that silence is getting awkward and stands up. ‘Hello.’

‘You’re Oscar, right? My name is George. I asked several people about the school, and they all told me to find you.’

There’s a slight accent to his speech, one that Oscar can’t place. His eyes fall on the mating bite on George’s neck, and he figures that man standing in front of him is the very same George, who is Alex’s mate and who apparently gets visions from goddess Ala herself. Oscar nods once. ‘Yeah, it’s me. Nice to meet you.’

George’s eyes twinkle. ‘Alex told me that you’re polite,’ his smile grows bigger, and he extends his hand. ‘Nice to meet you too.’

George’s hand is delicate; it doesn’t have any blisters nor are they hardened by the years of groundwork. It’s impressive, really, given which region he’s coming from. Oscar shakes it firmly, briefly wondering about what else Alex told him. ‘You wanted to ask about the school?’

He’s not trying to be rude here, but small talk is a dreadful exercise, and he never learned to master it fully. He’s awkward with strangers. George, thankfully, gets straight to the point as well: ‘We don’t have many pups, I was wondering whether you’d be up for also taking them into your classes? Just the pups, they’re all around four and six moons.’

George is nervous. He’s trying to hide it with an easy smile, but his scent is all over the place, fraying at the edges with something strong and musky. It relaxes Oscar a little, knowing that he’s not the only one who feels out of it. He smiles and hopes it comes out genuine enough, because Oscar’s feelings on this matter are genuine: ‘Sure, I’d love to. We won’t start soon because of the ripening, but you can bring them all sometime around next week. In truth, I have mostly six and seven moons old in my classes, so I’m teaching them how to write, count, read. I don’t have vast experience with little ones, but I can start with the alphabet and numbers if that’s alright? I can talk to their parents first, of course.’

Oscar pauses when he realizes that he’s rambling. George looks faintly amused but thankfully his scent calms down in its intensity. He watches Oscar with a head tilted to the side, observing him like he’s some new type of species he’s never seen before. ‘And playtime?’ Oscar blinks. George huffs a laugh. ‘I have no doubts that you’re amazing at teaching pups all that, but do you give them playtime? They have so much energy and very short attention span, they like to run around most of the time.’

Right. Oscar wracks his brain for an appropriate answer that won’t come out tactless. Sorry, but our pups here are not like yours, they don’t run around in wolves’ forms half of the time doesn’t seem to be a politically correct response. Besides, Oscar doesn’t do playtime. It sounds like something that’s supposed to be fun and well, that is not something up Oscar’s alley. He’s not entirely sure what it’s supposed to mean and the embarrassment of not knowing something which is very obvious for another party makes him cringe internally. ‘I divide everyone into very small groups of four and classes barely last one hour. So no, there’s no playtime.’

George hums. His piercing stare doesn’t leave Oscar’s face – it’s almost like he’s searching for something there. He nods, tapping on his chin with his fingers, deep in a thought. ‘Are you alone?’ George suddenly asks. ‘I mean as a teacher. I can help if you want.’

The offer is so unexpected that Oscar allows his jaw to drop a little. He’s been alone for the last two years since he volunteered for this, because no one else in the village is up to work with the pups. The Elders officially take up all youngsters for ‘lessons’ that all have to do with village rules and history, but that’s about it. Oscar’s always been alone and for a second a hot possessiveness rushes through his entire body – it’s his work. His job, his place. Something in this goddamn village that makes others respect him. He can’t give it away, he can’t let somebody take it from him, life already took so much from him, he can’t-

‘It’s alright!’ George’s voice brings him back to reality. Taller omega has both of his hands raised in a gesture of surrender. ‘I- apologies if it was somehow insensitive from my side. I meant no offense, I promise.’

Only then Oscar notices the real reason for this hasty apology – his scent. It’s all over them, so potent in the air that it’s almost like one can swallow it up. Oscar blinks, stumbling back in shock. This never happened before: his scent is mellow, almost unrecognizable unless someone is standing close. As a beta his scent doesn’t react strongly to the change in his emotions and he barely smelt like anything anyway; the best description Oscar ever got of his scent was Logan’s confusing ‘kinda like rain, but also a bit sweet? but not very sweet, I don’t know, it’s confusing mate, sometimes I think you smell like seaweed’ and that’s pretty much it. But what Oscar smells right now is different – it’s strong and salty and it smells like anger. His sisters used to tuck their faces in his neck as close to his scent glands as they could, telling him it calmed them down. Right now he smells like he’ll go to a war to protect what’s his. And this class, this teaching – it’s his. No wonder George instantly retreated.

‘No, I-‘ Oscar doesn’t know what to say. He has no fucking idea how to reign his scent in because it never happened to him before and the shame of outing his emotions so blandly to a stranger makes him want to die. ‘I’m- Sorry for the-‘ Oscar gestures to the air, grimacing. ‘I don’t usually. Um. I’m not like that, usually.’ I don’t show me emotions like that usually.

George regards him in silence for a few moments. Oscar then feels the slight shift in the air. It takes him by surprise how he instantly knows what’s happening – a gentle nudge of George’s scent, a very careful and apprehensive ‘can i?’. This happened before with Lando, when his scent also reached out to Oscar, but then he ran. He has too much dignity to run again though; he stays. He stays and turns off his brain, letting instincts tell him to reciprocate. It’s uncomfortable at first: his body tenses at the mere mention of letting feelings prevail over the mind. Something inside of him moves, but it’s so timid in its awakening that Oscar can’t find it, can’t bring it up. Frustration sparks up from this battle inside his own body, but then George’s scent gets softer, mellower; it lulls Oscar’s defenses to sleep. Involuntarily he closes his eyes and focuses on the air in between them. It’s so much easier to focus with your eyes closed and all your senses heightened – Oscar feels George’s scent and carefully reaches out towards it. The way it responds knocks the breath out of Oscar’s lungs: George’s scent seeps through the cracks of his own, curls around it gently, curiously. Oscar doesn’t know what’s happening in his mind, but he knows what’s going on with his heart. Knows that this is important on a deeper level, knows that George is trying to calm him down now. He knows all of this just like he knows that their scents are not compatible, because even though George tries, his scent gets pushed over by Oscar’s, who is not doing it intentionally. After several tries George steps back, his scent fades and so does Oscar’s anger. When he opens his eyes, George is already staring back at him with something akin to wonder in his eyes.

‘You’re not from here.’ It’s a statement, not a question. ‘No one here is like this.’

Oscar breathes in. His childhood memories are painted with other pups pointing this out, calling him different if they were kind or freak if they were honest. He never heard it in the way George said it though. Because George said ‘no one is like this’ like it’s not Oscar, who is weird, but them. Like Oscar is actually, for once, a normal one and all others are in the wrong. Like George, maybe, thinks Oscar is just like them. It’s a dangerous thought though, so Oscar instantly erases it. He’s got enough things that make his heart weep at night.

‘If you want to teach too, I can share the classroom.’ Oscar says, clearing his throat. He doesn’t say that he’ll be happy doing it, because his mother didn’t raise a liar.

George is kind enough to not comment on the abrupt topic change. ‘Thank you,’ he says, and it sounds rather sincere. ‘I’ll come find you sometime next week.’

It’s awkward then. They both just stand in front of each other with nothing left to say, but for whatever reason George is not walking away, and Oscar is too polite to simply get back to his task of digging potatoes out. The silence is ruined by Oscar’s stomach that grumbles loudly enough to make both of them laugh.

‘Let’s go eat, then?’ George proposes and it’s friendly, like Oscar hasn’t just recently unleashed his scent on him like a banshee.

It’d be good to stay back, but George is acting like he actually wants Oscar’s company and well. He really can’t run forever, can he? ‘Yes, let’s go.’

They walk side by side towards the end of the field as George fills the silence with his observations of the climate here and how different everything is. Oscar listens closely, offering small commentary here and there. His head is too preoccupied with trying to rationalize whatever happened with his scent to fully pay attention to his new acquaintance. His focus shifts to him in a second though, when George suddenly asks: ‘Do you know Lando?’

Oscar pauses mid-step and curses himself for it. George surely noticed, but really, he doesn’t know Lando, it’s not like they were properly introduced to each other or anything like that. It’s just a random alpha whose scent makes Oscar want to set the world on fire. ‘No.’ It comes out a bit too clipped, so Oscar tries to save it with: ‘I don’t know anyone from your pack. I only met Alex when I came to bring food the second day and that’s it. I don’t know Lando.’

George’s not convinced, Oscar can tell. Few moments pass in silence when George offhandedly comments: ‘Your scent made me think of him, that’s why I asked.’

Oscar fully pauses now, halting. His mouth dries up. ‘My scent?’ George stops too, watching him with a piercing stare. ‘Yes, your scent. It’s very similar to his. Or not similar, more like- complimentary to his one.’ George’s gaze shifts to the left and he lights up: ‘Alex! Come here!’

Sea salt, sun, wet sand, warm breeze. Hattie, Edie, Mae. His father. Oscar wants to throw up.

‘Max wants to talk to you, darling.’ Alex says, wrapping his arms around George’s shoulders the second he comes closer. He glances at Oscar and smiles warmly. ‘Hi.’

‘Hi.’ Oscar forces out automatically. His stomach churns unpleasantly, hunger long forgotten.

‘Sorry, Oscar, but I have to go. Max is as impatient as a pup waiting for a tit, best not to make him wait.’ George fondly rolls his eyes, smiling. ‘Thank you for your company.’

Oscar doubts that he’s been good company, but it’s kind of George to say it, nonetheless. It eases some weight from his chest and when he smiles at him, his smile is genuine. ‘See you around, George.’

Alex winks at him and stirs George forward. Oscar’s legs take him to their big hall on their own; he’s shaking a little, head a total mess of thoughts that will keep him awake at night. The smell of the food and loud voices indicate where most of the people are and he moves towards the correct building, when he hears bubbly laughter on his right. It’s carefree and full of joy in the way only pup’s laughter can be – Oscar instantly turns to look. He sees her first. Small girl with long brown hair and a contagious laugh. She’s perched on man’s shoulders, her tiny hands are pulling at his curls, and her eyes are squeezed shut as he makes a show pretending to drop her. He’s smiling widely, his hands are holding her legs carefully but firmly and he keeps on looking up at her to make sure that she’s having fun. He lets go of one of her legs and the girl shrieks, clutching at him like a lifeline. ‘Lando!’

Oh. Oscar blinks twice. It’s – it is Lando. It’s him but it’s also the first time Oscar has seen him smiling, so it looks like he’s seeing a completely different person. The aura he gives off right now is so startingly different from the one Oscar seen before that he didn’t even recognize him. Lando looks happy. Truly happy and it changes his demeanor in unbelievably ways. With a jolt in his heart Oscar thinks that happiness suits him.

‘You are so heavy, what can I do?’ Lando grumbles in a fake annoyance. ‘Should I just drop you, hm? Maybe I should. Like a sack of potatoes.’

Involuntarily, Oscar smiles.

‘No, Lando, no!’

Lando laughs then. Deep, throaty laugh, sincere and intimate. He must be really happy, because even from a distance the note of his scent reaches Oscar. It tickles his nose, smells like sunshine. Lando turns to his side right when Oscar turns around to leave, not hungry anymore.

=+=

By Friday Oscar feels like nothing can save his back. His whole body thrummed with tension; all muscles ached with a dull pain from not having any rest. When he woke up this morning to his mother’s gentle caresses, Oscar wanted to melt into the bed with desire to just stay here forever and Gods decided to be kind to him, sending cascade of water from the sky, successfully cancelling any field work. With a soft ‘you can sleep, dearest, there’ll be no work today’ from his mother, Oscar fell back into a deep sleep in mere seconds. He woke up feeling rested, but not strong enough to move anyhow. There are no rest days in their village in autumn: first, because of the harvest and second, because of the trade ships. Set to come next week, Oscar knows that even if it’s pouring from the sky like rain wants to drown them, everyone is still working inside: pushing wheat into bundles, counting vegetables and fruits and setting aside what’s needed for the trade, storing rice, making lists of what they need for the winter. Oscar lets himself just lay on the bed for ten more minutes before he gets up with a sigh. It’s impossible to just laze around when everyone else is working. He spends all of his time till the evening preparing lists with his mother, checking what they need for the winter and what she can offer to the traders.

‘We can share with others this time,’ she says quietly, knowing full well how he feels about it.

Oscar has nothing against collective trade and he’s grateful for how community is built in this place, but he’s never going to let them take a single dime out of his mother’s talent. At first everyone called them freaks because his mother was different, then they came crawling on their doorstep for her ointments, then they got jealous and resented them for being better off than them. His family was amongst few ones who had more than others – they never suffered during the winter, never had to worry about lack of clothes either. Every year his mother tries to push him to bring her ointments and everything else and trade it not as an individual but as a part of their pack, but Oscar refuses all the time. She may have forgotten the way everyone treated her, but he didn’t. Therefore, his answer is short and decisive: ‘No, we won’t.’

She doesn’t argue with him, thankfully. Only shakes her head and reaches out to pat him gently on the back. ‘I need seaweed, my dear.’

He knows she’s saying it now because it’s easier to collect seaweed during the rain, because the sea brings them to the shore at those times. Usually, Logan collects whatever’s left from his morning beach patrol and brings it all to them, so Oscar never really has to go down to the sea. ‘Is it for the knees?’ Oscar asks.

Nicole nods. ‘For my hands too. And you know the salves of them are very popular, they’re always in demand.’

Oscar knows that and he knows it means he needs to bring a lot. Which means he must go now. He pushes down the bile that rises in his throat and turns to his mother with a small smile on his face. ‘I’ll go, mom. Will bring as much as I can.’

The rain turned from heavy downpour to light drizzle by the time Oscar comes outside. Hiding his nose in the collar of his dad’s old coat he marches to the beach with a sole determination of getting everything done quickly and without getting his feelings in the way. He’s focusing on those breathing exercises Guanyu taught him, the ones that work even though Oscar finds them stupid. He reaches a familiar staircase and has to squint his eyes to make out some figures on the shore. Without glasses he can’t see very well, only can make out faint shapes of pups and one man between them. The image of pups being with some man out in the rain and this close to the sea doesn’t sit well with Oscar; he rushes down the stairs as fast as he can, nearly slipping twice. The closer he comes, the better he sees – he focuses on the pups and yes, it’s bad to have favorites as a teacher, but Oscar will recognize this little black wolf with two white stripes on his tail anywhere. ‘Oliver!’

In three seconds, he gets almost knocked out of balance by the said pup, who wiggles between his legs and whines in a very heartbreaking way. Oscar kneels, getting on eye level with him, searching for answers in dark orbs. ‘What’s wrong, buddy?’ Oscar keeps his voice quiet, only for Oliver to hear. ‘What’s going on here?’

Oliver only whines once more. He’s a resident troublemaker in the class, but Oscar still has soft spot for his wide smile and crinkly eyes. It’s obvious that Oliver is not planning to transform anytime soon, so Oscar looks up at the man in front of him, hoping to get some answers. He has his back to him, but the sight of familiar curls makes him sigh resigned. Heavens, why? Did he somehow anger the goddess Ala? Feeling someone else’s presence, Lando turns and then Oscar notices another pup next to him. With fully black fur, he stands the same height as Oliver, but even from a distance pup looks sturdier, stronger. Before Oscar can ask what is happening, Lando speaks: ‘I was on the patrol and saw these two fighting.’

Oscar’s eyebrows disappear in his hairline. Fighting? He looks down at Oliver, who tucks his snout in his shoulder, refusing to look at him. Oscar doesn’t smell any blood on him, which is a huge relief, but Oliver is leaning heavily on his left side and that can’t be good. Ignoring Lando’s scrutinizing gaze, Oscar turns to look at the other pup, who shifts in the blink of an eye. It always comes naturally to pups and yet it always manages to steal Oscar’s breath away. He averts his eyes out of respect, catching Lando immediately taking off his coat to cover shivering slim figure of the boy.

‘He was bullying me! Calling me names!’

It was said to Lando but loudly enough for everyone to hear. Oliver tenses against Oscar’s body. His tongue licks up Oscar’s cheek carefully. Oscar stands up, noticing how instantly defensive Lando’s posture gets – his squares up his shoulders and literally pushes the pup behind him out of harm’s way. Out of Oscar’s way. Stunned by this display, Oscar pauses, and his eyes widen. He can never hurt a pup. He won’t go as far as to say that he will never hurt anyone, but he will never hurt a pup.

‘What did he call you?’ Oscar asks, trying to make eye contact with the youngster, but Lando shields him with his frame. It sparks a flame of irritation in Oscar – fucking hell, does he look like he’s going to start a fight here? Does he look threatening? Sighing, Oscar finally turns his attention to the alpha. ‘Listen-‘

‘You do not get to lecture our kind,’ Lando says in a firm voice.

Our kind. Like they are different from them. Oscar tenses. ‘Wasn’t about to, I just wanted to get to the root of the problem.’

‘You’re scaring him.’ Lando accuses with hard eyes.

‘I’m not the one whose scent is blatantly stating murderous intent, mate.’ Oscar grits out, annoyed.

The light drizzle is not stopping. The sound of rain hitting the stones and waves crashing gently on the shore is loud, it fills the space between them. That and Lando’s strong scent with metal notes in it. Oscar is not an idiot – beta or not, he still has a functioning nose and everything in Lando’s scent is screaming that if he comes closer a blood will be shed. Oscar hates how his lungs seem to expand more and more in chest, trying to get more of it – he stomps down on these urges. Since fucking when he is so affected by anyone’s scent?

‘Then first ask him,’ Lando pointedly stares at shivering Oliver. ‘I will deal with Kai on my own.’

He’s not going to budge. Part of Oscar is almost glad for that – it’s good to know that alphas of the North pack are protective of their pups, that they don’t trust easily others even if they came here for a merger; Oscar would’ve behaved the same. But the part that’s glad is a very, very small part of Oscar. The bigger part is annoyed, and he turns to Oliver, carefully urging the pup to shift. ‘Ollie, please,’ Oscar whispers, patting his head. ‘For me, bud. We gotta talk this one out.’

Oliver only kicks his legs but doesn’t run away, leaning on him and keeping his eyes downcast. This happened too many times for Oscar to not know what it means – he is guilty and fears consequences. Oscar suddenly feels the beginning of what’s going to be a horrible migraine form at the back of his head. He’s soaked, he’s a bit hungry, he’s tired of thinking of implications of whatever Lando’s scent is making him feel and he just- fuck. He just wants everything to be over. He’s not sure whether he’s talking about this situation in particular or whether he’s addressing this never-ending pain in his chest. Both, probably.

‘Oliver,’ he calls in a stern tone, all gentleness long gone along with fondness. ‘Shift right now and apologize to Kai for being mean and calling him names.’ When pup only curls into himself and whines, Oscar presses on: ‘Now, Oliver.’

Oscar doesn’t like this version of himself, doesn’t like it when he must act all ice-cold with the pups. Sometimes it’s the only way to make them listen, but it always tugs at his heart when he has to do this. Oscar copies Lando and takes off his coat, giving it to Oliver and hauling the boy up in his arms, humming when Ollie wraps his arms around his neck like a vice. ‘You are not like that, Ollie,’ Oscar says, making pup look up at him. ‘You are not a bully. You’re our rocket, our bravest pup. But not a bully. Yeah?’

There’s a complicated history Oscar has with bullying, and he’s been in Kai’s shoes for many, many years. Oscar doesn’t look at him because he knows what he’s going to see in his eyes, so instead he diverts his attention to the pup in his arms, who looks like he’s two seconds away from bawling his eyes out. ‘Apologizing is also a brave thing,’ he reminds him.

Oliver’s lower lip wobbles. ‘He bit me,’ he sniffles, pointing at Kai with his finger. ‘And-‘

‘Because he was mean!’ Kai instantly shouts, looking at Lando like he’s begging him to believe in what he’s saying. ‘He started it! He started fighting and I tried to control myself like you said! But, but- I didn’t bit too hard, I tried to control it!’

Oscar blinks. What he hears is so surprising and it must’ve shown on his face, because Lando sighs, realizing that he’ll have to explain. He ruffles Kai’s hair, nodding. ‘I believe you, Kai. It’s raining, your mom’s probably looking for you so go home, okay? Take my coat with you.’

Kai glances at Oliver, looking angry. Lando pushes him to the side, and he obeys, but not before throwing one nasty look at Oliver’s side. Lando raises his eyebrow, pointedly looking at Oliver. Oscar tightens his grip on the pup before slowly putting him back on the sand. ‘We will talk tomorrow,’ he says and Oliver’s shoulders sag. ‘Go home for now, Ollie.’

‘He bit me,’ he repeats in a small voice. He’s looking at Oscar like he’s asking him to go and fight Kai. ‘It hurts, Oscar.’

Oscar’s heart tightens in his chest. God didn’t make him a strong soldier, not at all. He leans and kisses Oliver’s forehead. ‘Go to Laura, yeah? I’ll come and pick you up from her.’

It doesn’t lighten Oliver’s mood, but it does make him smile a little. He nods and rushes back, leaving Oscar and Lando alone. It’s cold. This is the first thought Oscar registers once he turns to look at the alpha. Lando’s scent turned back to his usual state – that’s the second that passes in his mind.

‘I saw the fight,’ Lando breaks the silence first, not even shivering when the wind picks up. His skin tone almost glows in the rain. ‘Kai really did bite him, but not in the way he could’ve.’

Oscar raises an eyebrow at him. ‘Is that supposed to make it better?’

Lando shrugs. ‘It’s just the truth. If Kai used his real strength, your Oliver wouldn’t be standing the way he did when you came. Little ones don’t know, but we have only a few pups over five moons old and I told all of them to control their strength around your pack.’

Oscar is not sure if he’s impressed or irritated – this mixture of feelings always arises in him whenever he’s around Lando, it seems. Impressed that Lando actually thought about it and made sure to warn his pups and irritated that he’s so casual in mentioning how much stronger his pack is. ‘I’ll talk to Oliver and will make sure he apologizes.’ Oscar assures, knowing how important it is for both of the pups. ‘I do not teach, nor do I condone this kind of behavior. I hope it won’t make Kai hesitate to come to school tomorrow.’

Maintaining eye contact with Lando is a challenging thing. For the starters, Lando stares openly, his eyes bore into Oscar’s soul with intensity of a mad man. Oscar is very sure in his stoic expression that gives nothing away, so he’s not very bothered by that. The second thing though, is how his scent changes the longer they stare at each other. Lando’s scent is strong and it keeps inching closer in Oscar’s direction, hovering nearby but never fully approaching. Oscar is terrified to find out that somewhere deep inside he sort of wishes Lando would just –

‘You’re a good teacher,’ Lando suddenly voices out in a deep voice.

Oscar’s heart stops beating for a second. He tries to play it off: ‘I guess your standards are pretty low if me not supporting bullying is enough to call me a good teacher.’

‘I thought you’d start blaming Kai without learning anything. I thought you’d want to hurt him.’

Indignation rises in his chest like a tidal wave. ‘I’d never hurt a pup.’

Lando offers him a small smile like he approves. ‘Yeah. I can tell.’

The wind picks up. Very softly light drizzle stops, and the sky clears out just a little. Lando does this thing when he runs both hands back and forth through his curls, trying to get rid of excess water, trying to make them look less wild. It’s such a boyish thing to do that Oscar gets sort of fixated on it, unsure whether he should stay or leave. Right when he thinks their conversation reached its limit, Lando voices out: ‘No glasses today, huh?’

It’s weird. Talking to Lando is weird. Oscar feels so not in his element, because he never knows what to expect; Lando always throws him off balance. ‘It was raining, no point in them,’ he points out. And then, because Lando is not the only one with brilliant attentiveness, he says: ‘I didn’t know they made you patrol even in the rain.’

Lando finally stops messing with his hair, his hands fall to the sides and then start picking on the hem of his pants. His restless energy, for whatever reason, is endearing. ‘No one made me. I just went on my own.’

Oscar frowns. Sure, pact of the merger was that the North pack will offer protection but suddenly Logan’s story of one alpha chosen by God Tano comes to his mind. Could it be that Lando had some visions? ‘Any particular reason?’ Oscar asks, hoping he doesn’t sound like he’s prying. ‘Or do you just enjoy getting sopping wet under the rain?’

Lando tenses. For a second Oscar feels like he’s about to hear a truthful answer, that maybe Lando will confine to him, a random stranger. That doesn’t happen, of course. Instead Lando answers in a way that says a lot about him: ‘Someone has to. Little rain won’t stop those who want to come, would it?’

And isn't that a jarring reminder of why the North pack is even here? ‘I suppose not.’ Oscar mutters, suddenly feeling the weight of something that is definitely not his.

He should go. There’s nothing else to say, it’s too awkward and stiff. He should go, but his legs are rooted in that stupid sand, and he can’t. Can’t leave, can’t go. Lando is not leaving either, stares at Oscar with unreadable expression. His scent gives nothing away too. Finally though, like taking a mercy on Oscar, he says: ‘George told me about school, that it’ll start tomorrow.’ Oscar, having nothing to add to this, only nods. Lando chews on his bottom lip before he vocalizes his thoughts: ‘Our pups are different. We are different.’

‘I know.’ Oscar says, because he does. He knows very well how different they are.

‘Do you?’ Lando asks, tilting his head. It’s not meant to be a rage bait; he sounds more tired. ‘Pups over six moons get taken with us and we’re teaching them to hunt. To hide. To patrol. To fight. To kill. George told me you’re teaching your pups to write.’

Oscar huffs. ‘Writing is important-‘

‘Not saying that it isn’t.’ Lando cuts him off rudely. ‘Just-‘ Lando sighs like he’s annoyed with himself or with Oscar. ‘I mean- just be fucking nice, yeah? To our pups.’

The admission makes Oscar’s heart swell. He thought that Lando was trying to pick a fight, to show him how different – read: better – he is, but it wasn’t about this at all. He was pointing out all the differences just to make Oscar understand that pups will be not what he expects them to be and therefore, he’s asking Oscar to be nice. To the pups. He is shivering from the cold, but Lando’s fierce care for the pups warms his whole body. ‘I will,’ he promises in a soft, but sure tone. ‘You don’t have to worry.’

Oscar notices what’s happening only when Lando’s eyes widen. Just like last time with George, he didn’t even realize that he was letting out more of his scent. But this time he’s not angry. This time he's the one who wants to calm the other down. He’s content, he wants to soothe Lando’s worries. Oscar doesn’t know what it smells like, but it’s tangy and a bit sweet. He doesn’t have to close his eyes to feel it reach out towards Lando, whose scent immediately reaches out too like all this time it was just waiting for the permission. It feels electric when their borders brush: Oscar jolts in surprise, while Lando sucks a breath loudly. It’s not bad, not at all; tingly feeling spreads all over beta’s body as their scents delicately mix, making up a blanket that covers both of them. It’s not like what happened with George, when incompatibility was too apparent. No, this is much, much better. Stronger. It seeps into his bones - how right it feels. George's words suddenly echo in his mind, his comment about their scents being compatible. Oscar doesn't have a lot of experience in this thing, he doesn't know how must compatibility feel, but something whispers to him that this is it. And it's terrifying. Oscar tries to reel his scent in, shocked with how easily everything happened with Lando; he feels how some remnants stubbornly stay, clutching at Lando’s scent instead. He’s warm all over: Oscar is sure his cheeks are on fire right now. When he dares to glance at Lando, he sees alpha staring at him with open wonder on his face. Like Oscar is someone worth looking at.

‘Um,’ Oscar lets out intelligently. And then, when he realizes something, he feels a bit stupid for saying it, but still goes: ‘I’m Oscar, by the way.’

Lando blinks quickly, shaking his head. ‘I know. I’m Lando.’

‘I know,’ Oscar says, because he can’t help it.

Lando chuckles. His eyes shine like gemstones when he looks at him. For a second they look so familiar, they make one long forgotten memory pop up in Oscar’s brain. Oscar has only ever been to the sea once – when his father took him to the place where Tano river falls into the Abena sea at one of his travels. Oscar was a small pup back then, newly presented as a beta, just over five moons, running around the coast in his wolf form, growling happily at the waves tickling his paws. He doesn’t remember much from that trip – it was his first and last one with his father. He remembers his father’s gentle hands, his strong mint and coriander scent, the way the sun seemed to shine exceptionally bright that day. He remembers feeling free, remembers falling into the water and almost getting carried away by waves if it wasn’t for another pup. Oscar doesn’t remember much, just that pup saved his life, dragging him back to the shore, licking his face all over until Oscar didn’t come back to himself. He remembers soft brown fur and green eyes that shone like gemstones with specks of gold in them.

'Bye, Oscar.’

'Bye,’ Oscar whispers to retreating Lando’s back.

He goes to get Ollie from Laura on unsteady legs, shaken by the memory. He doesn’t collect any seaweed.

Notes:

what are we thinking of these two? ;)

i'm sorry but i can't resist and make all their interactions a bit awkward :D i'm also thinking of adding chapter from lando's pov, so let me know if you'll be interested in this kind of switch up!

as always, thank you so much for reading, leaving kudos! special thank you for those who are kind enough to share their thoughts with me :') you guys make my day! - nini

come talk to me on TUMBLR

Chapter 4: lando's pov

When George walks over to him right after having a vision, Lando already knows what he’s going to say. Tall omega is barely standing, Alex follows him with worried eyes and hovering hands, but doesn’t try to stop him, knows it’s useless when George already set his mind on something. Lando doesn’t move, lets George come to him and when he kneels, gripping Lando’s knee too tight, Lando knows. He knows and it still strikes him like lightning, when George whispers: ‘It was him, Lando. The one I always see standing next to you in my visions. It was him. It was Oscar.’

=+=

The bodies are cold. The dead weight is heavier to carry and Lando gestures for Franco to help. They move methodically in silence, pulling all dead bodies together to the place where Lewis and Kevin are digging up a hole big enough to fit everyone. Lando doesn’t look anyone in the eye when he drops a body after body. When the last one is carefully put next to the others, Lando flexes his fingers just to check that they are working. It’s cold; the end of August in their region feels like the early start of the winter. It’s good for the bodies, he thinks absentmindedly. The soil is soft enough, which makes it easier to dig.

‘Don’t just stand there, start digging if you don’t have anything better to do.’ Kevin’s voice is gruff and lacks any sympathy as usual. He doesn’t even look at Franco or Lando as he says it. ‘Or go be useful somewhere else.’

Franco glances at Lando with an eyebrow raised. His sweet scent of oranges tries to reach him, but Lando can’t. He has no emotional resources to reciprocate, to offer support; he puts a block, preventing Franco from reaching out. Young omega pouts at that, but respectfully moves away, coming closer to Kevin. ‘I’ll help.’

Lando automatically moves to help too, when Lewis stops him. His face shows as much grief as Lando has in his heart, but his eyes are soft and understanding as he leans in a little, gripping Lando’s shoulder tightly. ‘Go to Max, Lando.’

Lando swallows. Tremor wracks his body, but he puts on a brave face, ignoring a soul crashing desire to fall on his knees and cry. Or scream. Or run after the Outlanders and kill them one by one even if it means he’s going to die there. He looks down at the dirty soil and when he sees all the bodies, he thinks no, he doesn’t want to cry. The desire to kill is much, much bigger. ‘Go to Max, Lando.’ Lewis repeats, firmer this time. He knows Lando very well, so he uses the only arguments he knows will work on him. ‘He needs you now.’

That gets Lando moving. He walks like a ghost through the village without sparing a glance at all the ruins around him – his heart aches enough. Stopping at the porch of Max’s house, Lando takes a deep breath before pushing the door open. He’s met with a silence so heavy and uncomfortable that it makes him pause. Max’s scent is all over the house, suffocating it with the intensity of his anger. Lando covers his nose, ignoring the urge to growl at such strong pheromones in the air. Max’s anger is not unfamiliar, but mixed with sadness and pain it becomes unbearable. He tries to control his own scent, pushes it down, down, down until every trace of him evaporates in the air. Every step he takes towards the living room is a heavy one and when he finally reaches his destination, Lando simply sags to the wall, not being able to keep his own weight. Max is kneeling next to the dead body of his father. His back is hunched and he’s holding his father’s hand in his. He's not breathing, Lando thinks. Not far from him Daniel is sitting on the floor with a vacant expression on his face. There’s a horrible looking gash on his arm that’s bleeding and drops of blood fall on the carpet. He doesn’t look at Lando nor does he react to anything else in the room. Lando thinks he’ll crack from the pressure of silence here, but in reality, he cracks when Max turns, meeting his gaze and whispers: ‘Lando.’

There’s so much unsaid in just that one ‘Lando’. It’s Lando, I’m hurting and Lando, I can’t believe this happened and Lando, help me and Lando, what should I do now. Lando’s feet carry him on their own to another alpha, sitting right beside him and tugging him in a hug forcefully. Max first doesn’t go, but when Lando adds more strength, he finally turns and hugs him fully, wrapping both arms around him and dry heaving right into his shoulder. Lando doesn’t know what to say. Jos Verstappen wasn’t a good man, but he was their leader, and he was Max’s father. He was the rock of this village, the unshakeable force of this pack and now he’s gone. Lando doesn’t have words although he’s attended enough funerals at this point to at least be able to string some sentences together. But words always failed Lando, always fumbled and escaped him whenever he needed them the most. That’s why he only hugs Max tighter and hopes that Max knows. Knows that Lando will be there for him, that Lando will kill for him and most importantly, will die for him too. Right when Lando opens his mouth to speak, two strong arms wrap around him from the back. Strong mint scent tickles his nose, and Daniel hides his face in Lando’s curls, holding onto Max. Lando’s mouth snaps shut. Maybe this is enough. Maybe this is enough for Max, who is now their head alpha, who now has an entire pack to take care of and that’s not an easy weight to carry. Max’s body shakes in their hold with silent tears. Lando is one of the lucky ones in their village who still has both of his parents with him, so he doesn’t fully get the extent of the pain of losing a parent; he only knows what it’s like to lose your best friend. If losing a parent is double of what Lando felt when Max Fertwell died, then he wouldn’t be able to cope with it.

‘You are our leader,’ Daniel whispers, grabbing Max’s hair and forcefully making him look up at him. Loyalty bleeds from his words as he continues: ‘You are not alone. I will stand by you and Lando will stand by you, and we will kill anyone who dares to say a word against you being our pack’s alpha. Do you hear me?’

Max’s eyes are glassy and so, so blue. Lando’s heart breaks at how much pain he sees there. He tightens his grip on Max’s waist, nodding. ‘Lead us,’ he says in a hoarse voice that sounds foreign to his own ears. ‘We will follow.’

‘Where?’ Max rasps out. It’s the first time he looks unsure.

‘Anywhere,’ Lando replies. ‘We will follow you anywhere.’

And it’s the truth. There’s no better leader for them than Max and Lando doesn’t doubt that he’ll figure something out. He always does. Max sniffs and his face is ugly red both from the drying blood on his forehead and from the crying. Lando and Daniel stay silent as he comes to himself, as anger fades from his scent, as the look behind his eyes gets clearer. When he moves out of their grip, they both let go readily, sitting close.

‘Take his body and bury it with the rest,’ he commands, slipping back to the mask he always wore around Jos. It stings a bit that he has to wear it with them, now. ‘Fetch Lewis and Nico for me, tell them to come here. Tell Pierre to count all the supplies left, ask George and Alex to take care of the pups and omegas. Put all the youngsters on the patrol. We will have a pack meeting tomorrow, where I will announce my father’s death and my new position as the official pack alpha.’

Daniel shifts, stands up and helps Lando up too. A moment of quiet understanding passes between them before Daniel and Lando nod. Max is their best friend, a brother, but from now on he is also their pack alpha and when they both bow with their heads down low, it’s done slowly and intentionally. Max inhales sharply at this and steps to the side, letting them lift his father’s body. Before they walk out, Max says: ‘You two are my second in command. In case it wasn’t obvious.’

Lando lets out a breath he’s been holding. Daniel tenses. Max watches with hawk eyes: ‘I do not trust anyone the way I trust you two. Don’t-‘ he pauses, muttering rest of the words like it pains him to do so: ‘It’s not going to be easy. Don’t betray me.’

‘Never, Maxie.’ Daniel says softly, for once not joking around.

Max’s mask falls off and he allows a wide smile at that. He turns to Lando, who offers an honest: ‘I won’t, Max. You know it.’

Max nods. It feels like those two admissions give him strength as he stands a bit straighter. ‘Go.’

=+=

‘I should’ve seen it.’ George whispers, when Lando steps closer. ‘I should’ve seen that ambush in my visions.’

‘You know it doesn’t work like that,’ Lando shakes his head. He keeps his tone quiet, glancing over all of the pups huddled together. ‘Everyone’s here?’

George nods. He always was unofficially responsible for the pups since he’s the youngest omega of their pack, but now that they are on the move to the South pack, his responsibility became very much official. Max requested Nico to take care of anyone above twelve moons – Nico is a good commander and has enough patience to teach youngsters how to fight and hunt. But anyone below was assigned under George’s gentle care.

‘How are they?’ Lando asks, nodding towards the pups. Max was relentless in his pursuit of getting as quickly as it’s physically possible to the South. ‘Holding up okay?’

‘They don’t have a choice, and they know it.’ George leans, tucking one of the pups into the blanket. It’s getting really cold at night in this region. ‘Maybe separating them from their parents wasn’t such a bright idea.’

‘It’s good to have them all in one place, very helpful for the guards,’ Lando argues. ‘You know we can’t afford any distractions now, Georgie.’

The hit they’d taken with the last ambush was too harsh. With so many deaths and sudden moving to the South, the pack was stripped bare and left broken. Max had hard work on his hands to mend everything back together, which meant making certain decisions that did not make everyone happy. Like separating pups from the parents, for example. Every single person was assigned a certain role and while it seemed harsh, everyone understood that difficult times required hard measures.

‘Did you see anything?’ George asks, breaking their silence. He’s shivering despite having both his own and Alex’s coat on.

Lando sighs and repeats: ‘You know it doesn’t work like that.’

Him and George are the only chosen ones but that’s where all similarities end between them. George gets visions – gifts from goddess Ala, fragments of future that may or may not happen. George can’t control them, doesn’t choose a time or a place when he sees them, can’t really do anything but relay what he saw and feel guilt when he couldn’t prevent something from happening. It’s different for Lando, who doesn’t have any visions. God Tano doesn’t visit him in his sleep, nor does he share his wisdom with him in other ways. He only answers Lando, when he asks. Like when Lando got lost on his first hunt and the wind guided him back to the right path. Like when Lando begged for the rain for their small harvest and it rained for a week in a season, when it never did. If George deals with guilt then Lando deals with frustration – he doesn’t know whether he’ll get an answer or not. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn’t. It’s a horrible game.

‘Maybe…’ George bites his lip and looks at Lando before proposing hesitantly: ‘You can ask for… I don’t know. Guidance.’

Lando chuckles, shaking his head. Guidance. If only it was that easy. The only times when God Tano answered his prayers were times of desperation, when Lando begged with an open heart and tears in his eyes. Then he always received either an answer or a sign, which always came with a strong sea scent. ‘I’m just like you, George. I don’t control him. He helps when he wants, not when I ask.’

They stand in silence for a while, watching over sleeping pups. With the number of people in their pack decreasing, saving pups became a crucial part of Max’s plan, especially considering how omegas are practically going extinct in their pack. They were always rare, but now with less than ten of them remaining, the situation with bloodlines is incredibly tense.

‘I saw some fragments recently,’ George says, startling Lando. ‘I- nothing big, I shared them with Alex only.’

‘You must share everything you see with Max, George. It’s a rule.’

‘I know-I know!’ George mutters with irritation. ‘It’s nothing- it was just a few shots, really. Nothing that can help Max win Outlanders or get us quicker to the South pack, I promise. Most of them were around you, anyway.’ George sends Lando a long look, holding a pause for dramatic effect.

‘Me and the sea again?’ Lando asks. He heard this all before; George told him many times that he kept seeing Lando next to the sea in his visions. The fact that the South pack’s village is located right at the shore only fuels George’s thoughts.

‘Sea, and ships and that boy, Lando. I am sure we will meet him in that village.’

Right, and the boy. Mysterious guy who always accompanies Lando in George’s visions. By George’s description he’s as tall as Lando, has brown hair and broad shoulders. George lately is very keen on thinking that he is Lando’s mate. This thought irritates Lando to no end – he doesn’t have a mate. He doesn’t want to have a mate, not when Outlanders are breathing down their necks, not when his parents are more scared than he ever saw them, not when Max is barely keeping this pack together. Lando doesn’t want a mate. He wants to sink his teeth into the neck of pack alpha from Outlanders and tear out his jugular, watch his head bounce on the ground with a fountain of blood. Lando wants justice because maybe then all the pain he has inside his chest will fade away.

=+=

The scent is so familiar that Lando pauses, focusing his gaze on the guy in front of him. He smells like the flowers Lando grew up with in his old home, like a call from the sea, strong and enticing. The scent tickles his mind and tries to open old memories locked there, but when Lando meets light brown eyes, he instantly knows who’s standing in front of him. An old memory of his short travels with parents resurfaces briefly. He was in the South only once as a small pup who learned how to swim. And that one time he saved another pup from drowning – this moment etched into his memory forever, because it was the first time when someone else’s scent reached him and he didn’t find it disgusting. Wet and spluttering, pup’s scent was so light and familiar, Lando wanted to nuzzle his head and stay there forever, happily drinking him in. Now Lando looks at the guy in front of him and is not sure what to think – he is grown, but the light brown eyes are the same and the scent-

Lando turns away, not being able to stop himself from breathing in more of his scent before walking away. Gods surely have a fucked-up sense of humor.

=+=

‘Sea thrift,’ George tells him in private after he relayed his whole conversation with Oscar about the school to others.

‘What?’ Lando asks, hissing when Franco bandages his left side.

‘His scent, I immediately recognized it. You know that pink flower that was everywhere back in our first home? It’s called sea thrift or sea pink, and this is how Oscar smells. A bit sweet, but mostly like sea and grass combined.’ George explains, watching Lando’s face for any giveaway that he’s interested. ‘Very complimentary to yours, by the way. In case you’re interested.’

Franco presses a bit too harshly and Lando hisses, making omega mutter hushed apologies and get back to work. Since George saw Oscar and realized that he is the boy he saw in his visions, he is dead set on talking Lando’s ears off about him. ‘I’m not interested,’ Lando says with gritted teeth, exhaling when Franco finally finishes up with the bandage. ‘Thank you, Franco.’

Curly omega smiles brightly, winking at Lando. ‘Always, Landito. Come to me if it opens up again.’

‘Poor guy is in love with you,’ George says when they are left alone.

‘Shut up, George.’ There’s no heat behind those words, but Lando is tired after all the patrol he keeps on pulling. ‘I’m going to sleep unless you have anything else to say.’

They grew up together and George knows Lando’s mannerism very well, he can tell how exhausted alpha is and frowns. ‘You gotta let youngsters pull their weight,’ he advices. ‘Stop running yourself to death on those patrols.’

‘Someone has to,’ Lando replies as he always does. He yawns. ‘So? Anything else or can I go? You can bother Alex instead.’

‘I think Oscar is important, there must be a reason I keep on seeing him,’ he pushes, ignoring Lando’s groan of protest. ‘I know how much you hate hearing it, but maybe you can try? He’s not like them, Lando. He’s more like us, I swear.’

Lando scoffs. He has many opinions about the North pack. Sure, he is very impressed by how the Elders managed to build a community that works as a one healthy organism. Everything is done collectively: from having breakfast to ripening the harvest. Lando’s pack wasn’t ever like that, and he guesses they can take some stuff from them, but everything else is just – Lando hates it. Hates how everyone here acts like they are the freaks when it’s not them who are detached from their wolves. Hates how they are regarded here as invaders, when without them this pack wouldn’t have survived even ten minutes against Outlanders. How can Oscar be different if he has to wear fucking glasses for a bad eyesight? How far separated from the wolf he is? Lando stands up, making it clear that this conversation is over. ‘I’m going to sleep. Don’t forget to tell Lewis about morning meals for the pups.’

Lando goes back to his house, a small cabin closest to the sea. He doesn’t think of Oscar’s retreating figure he saw today, when he was carrying Karina on his shoulders. He doesn’t think of Oscar’s scent or the way he apparently let George reach him. He doesn’t think of a possibility of Oscar really not being like them – these detached from their true nature people of the South. He doesn’t want to entertain the possibility of Oscar being like him – and what that might mean. He doesn’t think of pink flowers by the sea that are absent here for some reason, but bloom naturally in the North. He thinks of the approaching winter, Max’s plans and upcoming war. He thinks of strain in all of his muscles that never goes away these days. He looks at the sea through the window and feels it call for him. A wave of calmness washes over him, and he falls asleep to the sound of waves and an image of light brown eyes filled with never ending sadness.

=+=

Patrols are tedious. Lando is the happiest when he’s in his wolf form, but mostly when he’s hunting or just running free. Patrols are different in level of focus and strain on the muscles from anything else. He can’t stop obsessing over them though; every single time he thinks of not going, his mind goes back to that dialogue between him and Max when they were ten moons old. Lando was whining that he didn’t want to go on those patrols, he didn’t want to do it, when Max grabbed his shoulders, squeezed once and said that someone has to go. He let Lando sit that one out and went alone. That night Lando lost his best friend.

After that he never missed patrol duty. He always volunteered and spent more time searching and rushing through the woods and mountains than anyone else in the pack. With time patrols became a routine, huge part of his life that he can’t let go of; he’s out there even when it snows or rains. Patrols keep his mind blissfully empty and Lando almost loves them for it, but the peace is ruined by two pups by the shore, fighting. In all fairness, Lando is not the best with any kind of conflict and he’s well aware how precarious relationship is between Max and the Elders; he can’t fuck this one up, so he pushes Kai down first, not touching the pup from the South pack. Kai, their little rebel, trusts Lando wholeheartedly and when his big eyes stare up at him with a plea for help, Lando almost gives in. Almost. And then Oscar comes.

It's funny, really. Lando thinks they need to stop meeting by the sea, thinks they need to stop meeting at all. Everything about Oscar makes him queasy, itchy in the best and the worst way. His stoic expression and calm attitude, the obvious way he’s keeping a distance, how he seems to have no fucking idea of his scent – all of that pisses Lando off, no matter how irrational it may be. But then he acts with all the kindness in the world, then he fiercely states that he will never hurt a pup, then he looks at Lando like maybe he understands where Lando’s fears are coming from, maybe he gets how much Lando cares about the pups even when Lando himself can’t put it all into words. And then – his scent. All the heavens above, his fucking scent. Lando is not the best at controlling his own, but even he somehow mastered it, he’d never manage to stop his scent from reaching out to Oscar, when he hesitantly tried to calm Lando down. Mixing his scent with Oscar takes Lando back to that scene when he saved a pup, back when he experienced this for the first time. It's a heady rush, strong enough to make Lando’s wolf growl in satisfaction. Oscar smells like his favorite flowers, like something earthy and muddy, amazing in the tandem with light sweetness. Oscar smells like home, like place Lando wants to go back to and never leave. Fuck, he smells perfect. And the worst part is how good they smell together, how their scents wrap in one another in a perfect harmony that Lando never had with anyone. It makes his teeth ache with desire to lick Oscar’s scent glands, bite them, and nuzzle his nose on them until he’s drunk on the scent. Oscar looks as stunned as Lando feels and the blush that spreads high on his cheekbones makes Lando’s heart ache uncomfortably. Because Oscar? Wet from head to toe, with hair plastered to his forehead, with button nose, bunny teeth and constellation of moles all over his skin is beautiful. And it’s not fucking okay, because Oscar is – not even a wolf, he’s so far from what Lando is, he’s not like him. And Lando can’t afford any kind of distractions, not now, not when Max is readying them for war, not when Daniel tells him they need him. He can’t afford to look at perfect smelling betas and think of giving them the world. He has a war to win, after all.

Lando goes back home with Oscar’s scent on the tip of his tongue.

=+=

‘Did he ignore you again?’ Alex asks, when George enters their house sulking. His omega looks distraught in a way that makes his skin prickle. ‘Come here, Georgie.’

The world is a shitty place, Alex has no doubts. But it always becomes much less shitty when George is in his arms. They breathe each other in, their scents mingling in a perfect harmony that is theirs – Alex hums in delight, when George presses small kisses on his neck. ‘No one listens to me,’ he murmurs and then playfully bites at Alex’s jaw. ‘Apart from you.’

Alex chuckles, wrapping his arms tighter around George’s waist. He’s always been slim but a whole month of undereating made every bone more prominent, and Alex hates it. He hugs him even tighter. ‘I’ll always listen to you. Now go eat, I prepared everything.’

Alex never thought that he’d be like this, but caring for George is as easy as breathing. Everyone cared for George – omegas were sacred after all; but Alex got to care for George in more intimate ways, the ones that are reserved only for lovers. He watches his omega eat omelet with rice like it’s the best meal ever and he can’t help but feel pride and satisfaction, which George instantly clocks. ‘Yeah-yeah, it’s delicious, now stop puffing your chest out like that.’

‘I’m in love and my omega is looking happy and is being well fed. Let me have this moment.’

George rolls his eyes, but his scent gets sweeter, which makes Alex smile. He reaches out and caresses his hand tenderly – he’s glad that he managed to get George out of this field work. The visions started coming too often recently, he needs as much rest as he can get. ‘Is Max running you to the ground too? Lando looks like a shadow of himself because of those patrols.’ George asks, worried. Alex’s hands are all covered in small gnashes. ‘Baby, please.’

There’s a lot of what Alex can say to George. He can tell him that Max is running everyone to the ground, driven by fear and vengeance. He can tell him that he spends most of the nights thinking over Max’s plans, coming up with different solutions that he needs to discuss with Lewis or Kevin, so night is not really for sleeping. He can tell him that Max is preparing them for war and no matter how much Alex hates the mere notion of it, he agrees that this is the right direction. He can tell him that soon he will join Lando on patrols, because all alphas agreed to do it constantly, rotating shifts. He can tell all of that, but he won’t, because George is already worried enough about the pups and their school.

‘All’s good, don’t worry. We just need to work hard, that’s it.’

That’s not it and George can tell, but he doesn’t say anything. He silently prays that goddess Ala will send him a vision so clear that George will be able to help Max somehow. He prays for more visions even if they make him sick; he just wants to be useful to the pack. They suffered enough, George thinks. He stands up and leads Alex to the bedroom for a short rest before they both go and attend Max’s meeting.

‘Will Lando talk to Oscar?’ Alex asks, pulling him to his side.

George shakes his head. ‘He refuses to listen to me, stupid brat.’

Alex laughs. ‘Maybe you should not meddle and let them find each other on their own, baby.’

The thing is, he didn’t tell Lando that in his visions he looks at Oscar like he’s the reason why he’s alive. He didn’t tell Lando that Oscar looks at him like if Lando lets go of his hand, he’ll die. He didn’t tell Lando that even from short snippets, unclear fragments – it’s clear as a day that they are together, him and Oscar.

‘Maybe,’ George agrees before closing his eyes. ‘Maybe.’

Notes:

absolutely adored writing from lando's pov, hope his character became clearer for all you through this chapter!

let me know what you think of lando!! <3 and alex/george is a second pairing here, did you like having scenes with them? :')

action and more landoscar in next chapter are coming! i hope i am not moving too quickly with these two :/
as always - thank you for leaving kudos, thank you so much for commenting - you guys make my day. you can always come talk to me on tumblr - nini

Chapter 5: new lesson

Not a single pup from the North pack comes on Monday to the classroom. Oscar tries not to think about it, tries not to let it get it to him, but it does, of course. It scratches the inside of his brain in the most unpleasant way, itches under his skin until he can’t help but growl in frustration. He focuses on the lesson to his best abilities, but one hour has never been so long and by the end of it he doesn’t who’s more restless: him or the pups. He lets them go with a sigh of relief and then slumps on the chair like he’s at the end of his day when it’s literally just ten in the morning. Next class should start in twenty minutes or so and Oscar spends this time ruminating of his conversation with George, wondering where he went wrong. Was it because he rejected the idea of play time? Or did he not express his enthusiasm for having their pups in his classroom clear enough? Did he act too cold? Did he somehow give an impression of someone unprofessional or worse, a bully? It shouldn’t matter but just thinking that George looked at him and decided that he can’t trust their pups with Oscar twists his heart painfully. Oscar is many things, he is far from perfect, but he will never, ever, hurt a pup. He is not cruel, mean or abusive. Could it be that his calmness was taken for indifference? Usually Oscar can’t care less of what people think of him – his childhood taught him to sleep like a baby despite everything what happened in a day; but this bothers him too much. He truly wanted to welcome pups from the North pack and was excited for it, he kept glancing at the door throughout the lesson, hoping to see new faces but no. He wonders whether he should go to George and just straight up ask what went wrong – Oscar has never been good at subtlety. He’s ruminating on where he can find George, when he hears loud bickering bouncing of the walls. In a few minutes familiar faces burst into the classroom, loud and chaotic as always. Oscar smiles despite himself – god, he loves these pups so much.

‘Oscar, Oscar, can we please go?’ Bianca asks, her brown eyes big and wide. ‘Please, please, please!’

‘Oscar, pleaaase!’ Ella joins, pouting effectively. ‘They are fighting there, can we go and watch?’

‘Who is fighting?’ Oscar asks, instantly alarmed.

‘They are not fighting, they are learning how to fight,’ Doriane corrects them, stepping closer. She’s so small, but sounds so serious, Oscar can’t help but smile. ‘We want to go and watch, can we, Oscar?’

Oscar quickly glances towards the door. ‘Only you three are here because the boys are already there?’ Three heads nod at the same time. ‘Where?’

‘At the main square.’ Doriane answers, her intelligent eyes sparkling with unhidden interest. ‘I tried to call them, but they didn’t listen.’

Oscar supposes he can’t be mad, he knows how fascinating it must be to the pups who never had a fighting lesson in their life. What can he possibly say if even his star students are asking to skip a lesson to watch the North pack? Oscar looks down at three cute faces and knows it’s a lost battle – of course he’ll let them do anything. He nods and the girls cheer loudly, clapping joyfully. ‘You’re coming with us, right?’ Bianca asks, stopping at the door.

‘Yes, you should come, Oscar!’ Ella grins and the fact that she doesn’t have one front tooth makes her grin only cuter. ‘Let’s watch together.’

‘I think it’d be very useful.’ Doriane adds.

And really, who is Oscar to say no? He soon finds himself in the middle of their main square, holding Bianca’s hand in his and looking over Ella and Doriane, who excitedly storm forward. There’s a literal crowd in the place, which takes Oscar by surprise; he expected to see only pups out here, but there are many other people here as well. Speaking of pups, he catches the sight of Oliver looking transfixed on a scene unraveling in front of him. And what a scene that is. When Oscar clocks what’s happening, his throat tightens with a horrible emotion – he wishes they didn’t need it. Because two alphas are out there showing how to free yourself from all kinds of traps in close physical fights. And it’s obvious why they are showing it and with what intention, but another reminder of the upcoming war makes something stir uncomfortably in Oscar’s chest. He knows it’s a right thing to do, but he doesn’t like quiet fascination in the pup’s eyes – a fight is not something that should be looked at like this. He doesn’t like how Oliver moves closer like he’s hypnotized or how Doriane starts repeating the motions with her own hands, he doesn’t like how Bianca lets go of his hand to come closer or how Ella whispers ‘wow’ under her breath when one of the alphas knocks down the other one.

‘It doesn’t matter if they are bigger,’ one of the alphas with dark braids says, circling blond alpha who’s laying on the ground. ‘It doesn’t matter if they are stronger. You can still win by knowing few tricks here and there.’

‘That’s so cool!’ Oliver exhales, turning attention to himself.

Oscar tenses, when alpha with dark braids turns his head to look at him. On instinct he moves until he stands right behind the pup, squeezing his shoulder lightly. Oliver is so young in comparison to all other pups from the North pack who are standing in the middle, it makes Oscar want to curl around him protectively. He makes eye contact with the alpha, who stares at Oscar’s hand on Oliver’s shoulder for two beats before asking: ‘You want to join?’

‘Oliver,’ Oscar squeezes, preventing pup from dashing forward. Oliver looks up at him with his big eyes, surprised to see him here. ‘Don’t.’

‘But Oscar,’ he pouts, displeased. ‘I wanna go.’

‘No.’ Oscar’s tone is strict and final, the one he uses only when someone is misbehaving terribly in the classroom. ‘You’re not-‘

‘He can join.’ Oscar looks up, startled to see the unfamiliar alpha now standing five steps away from them. His tone is soft and he’s looking at Oscar with understanding and a small smile. ‘I know you think he’s small. I promise we will take great care of him and-‘ he turns to look at other little pups, ‘-anyone else who wants to join as well. These self-defense lessons are not solely for our pups.’

They shouldn’t be learning self-defense. They should be learning how to write and read, how to count, how to- Oscar grits his teeth. Yes, reality is different now and he has to accept it. He glances at the pups, who all are buzzing with energy and excitement for this lesson the way they never buzzed for his – it surprisingly doesn’t sting, Oscar’s just happy that they are this excited. He finds himself nodding before he fully registers it.

‘Good. I’m Lewis, by the way.’

‘I’m Oscar.’

Oscar shakes his hand and his eyes zero on the mating scar on Lewis’s neck. It’s the exact replica of the one his mother has, and he involuntary freezes. Realizing that staring is incredibly rude, Oscar drops Lewis’s hand like he got burned and busies himself with gently pushing Oliver and Jack forward, calling the girls as well. He feels Lewis’s gaze on him and ignores it, knows he probably acted like a dick for staring at something so personal; he’s in the middle of asking Bianca to not be overly loud, when Kai comes up to them. Oliver instantly squares his shoulders, ready for the fight, but Kai only sticks his hand out, palms up. ‘Come with me, I will show you,’ he says with no notes of hostility in his voice.

Pups can sometimes act more mature than adults. Oscar senses Oliver’s hesitation and pushes him forward a little, smiling. ‘Go, Ollie. Forget what I said. Just go.’

Oliver goes. And Jack, and Bianca, and Doriane, and Ella. Lewis watches them with a small smile before turning to Oscar: ‘You’re a teacher?’

Oscar blinks. ‘Uh- yes.’

‘It shows.’ Lewis smiles again, warmly this time. ‘In the way you care. Like all of them are your actual pups.’

Oscar’s throat constricts because in some way they are his pups. But he can’t say this out loud because it’s a weird thing to admit, so he stays silent. They all go with Lewis and Oscar is left alone. He leans to the closest tree and watches silently as two alphas demonstrate moves to the pups. They hold their attention easily without having to resort to shouting – pups are so into what they’re seeing, some of them are barely breathing. In some moments crowd applauds, sometimes they cheer on whenever pups try to repeat what they saw – it turns into a full-blown performance in a way that Oscar will never be able to hold a lesson.

‘I can’t believe this is happening,’ Charles stands next to him, brushing their shoulders together in a greeting. ‘Oscar Piastri let the pups skip his lesson. What a day.’

‘Me and my boring books don’t stand a chance against self-defense lessons, I’m afraid.’ Oscar answers in a deadpan tone, making Charles chuckle.

‘I’m afraid not. Not only pups are interested though,’ Charles notes, chuckling.

Oscar, in all honesty, didn’t even notice that as the lesson went by, more and more people gathered. Well, more and more girls gathered. It does strike Oscar as an odd thing, but then he notices that more alphas from the North pack came out too and oh. Everything suddenly clicks. ‘These alphas are very popular,’ Charles says, lowering his voice. ‘If only you were to come to the kitchen, Oscar. All talks are about that alpha from the North pack or this alpha from the North pack. It’s so annoying.’

‘Annoying?’ Oscar repeats, glancing at Charles with a teasing smirk. ‘Aren’t you spending a lot of time with certain head alpha from the North pack, nowadays?’

The way Charles instantly reddens is too funny to ignore. Their most popular omega squeaks and hits his shoulder, grimacing. ‘I was trusted by the Elders to be the main messenger!’

‘Uh-huh.’ Oscar nods, smiling fully now. ‘Bet you’re enjoying this way more than you let on.’

Charles sputters indignantly, but the way he doesn’t deny anything makes Oscar’s grin wider. He’s glad, honestly. Charles never liked anyone from their pack, had a fleeting thing with one of the sailors, but otherwise stayed totally uninterested in anyone. It’s good to see him come alive under the attention of Maximillian Verstappen. ‘You know it’s very bad if even I know about it, right?’ Oscar questions. ‘Like you do realize that if I know about it then even my pups are aware of what’s going on.’

‘Nothing is going on,’ Charles hisses, red as a tomato. ‘At least nothing big.’

Oscar raises one eyebrow. ‘So something is going on, then.’

‘God, I hate you.’ Charles rolls his eyes and then leans closer to Oscar despite his words. ‘I just like talking to him. He’s so different, it’s… fascinating.’

‘I think it’s the first time I ever heard you use this adjective to describe anything, much alone anyone. And here I thought that you hated the way he kept addressing you with your status instead of your name.’

There’s a beat of silence and Oscar thinks that maybe he crossed the line and Charles got offended, but when he turns to check, Charles just stares back at him thoughtfully. ‘You know,’ he starts quietly, ‘I learned that in the North addressing someone you don’t know by their status is a common thing. And addressing omegas by their names is allowed only when you two got at least a little bit close. Max told me that omegas are treasured the most there.’

Oscar stays silent. He knows of this from his mother, but he can guess how incredulous Charles was when he first heard of it. Oscar briefly thinks it must be nice to feel treasured. He never experienced this outside of his home. ‘He is already ‘Max’ now? Not even ‘Verstappen’, huh.’

Charles digs his elbow into his ribs, making Oscar wince. ‘Shut up, Piastri. Don’t be an ass. Besides, what about you?’

Oscar blinks. ‘Me?’

Charles rolls his eyes impatiently. ‘Yes, you, Oscar. There are eighty new people in our village and at least half of them are our age and very easy on the eyes. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice.’

Oscar did notice – immediately sea green eyes framed by long lashes come to mind and it serves like a cold shower to Oscar. He shakes his head, trying to get rid of the image from his head. ‘I didn’t look,’ he settles for a rather safe answer.

‘Well you should,’ Charles counters. ‘They are all here for a while if not for good. Maybe you can give it a shot.’

Relationships are… complicated. As plain as Oscar looks from the outside, as complicated he is inside. He knows he’s a lot – Lily, even the sweetest Lily couldn’t handle all these ugly and twisted emotions inside of him that he keeps hidden most of the time. Oscar knows himself well, he thinks. He’s calm, loyal, smart and caring. He likes this part of himself – it’s easy to understand and to accept. Oscar is also broody, a chronic overthinker with a whole baggage of anger that he just can’t get rid of. That part of himself he doesn’t like – it’s too dark, hard to explain, hard to grasp, hard to control. Lily couldn’t bear his loaded silences and got tired of knocking onto his walls that refused to open to her. She left with a sad ‘you’re not letting me in, I don’t think I know the real you’ and it broke something in Oscar. Mostly, because he doesn’t believe that the real him can be liked. Sometimes he thinks he misses her, but then realizes he just misses the companionship and physicality of it all – having someone to hug, kiss and spend a night with. Despite always pretending otherwise, he thrives on physical contact and it’s- well. Oscar is not about to look for it with some strangers from the North pack. Or maybe he could? Maybe he could let himself fall into the arms of a complete stranger who does not know a single thing about him. Who doesn’t know about all the bullying he went through as a kid, who has no idea of the terrible loss he went through, who doesn’t care about his mother, who doesn’t give a flying fuck about how Oscar feels so out of place in this pack – maybe it will work? No complicated history, no shared secrets, nothing – maybe it’s for the best?

‘I’ll think about it,’ Oscar mutters, mostly to get Charles off his back. He’s not a fan of this topic.

Charles nods, smiling. ‘Let me know if you choose someone or want to learn someone’s name. I can always ask Max. Just, you know,’ Charles looks around like he’s about to tell him a secret, ‘I mean, don’t go for popular ones, yeah? Competition is huge there, you know that these girls don’t mess around, they’ll claw your eyes out.’

This is laughable. They are already popular ones? ‘And who are they?’ Oscar asks for his own amusement.

‘Max, obviously.’ Charles says, clearly annoyed with this. He looks very cute when he huffs and rolls his eyes. Oscar wonders if he should remind Charles that he is the most sought after omega and shouldn’t worry about any ‘competition’ and what not. ‘Cause he’s head alpha and all. Then Lewis, the one who is teaching now. That mating scar is not keeping anyone away, can you imagine? Who else… there’s Daniel guy, he’s always with Max. And Lando, he’s also always with Max.’

It takes everything for Oscar to not openly scoff at that. Of course Lando is the popular one, how could he not be? With his tanned skin, piercing eyes, wild curls and beautiful smile. Oscar swiftly looks around the crowd that gathered. For a moment he allows himself to ponder. Do these girls also have their knees buckling because of Lando’s scent? Do they also feel like someone is stepping on their chests when he’s near? Do they see past his strong body? Do they know how protective of pups he is, how his whole face lights up when he’s happy, how he patrols during the storms without being ordered to do it, but he still does it because he thinks that someone has to and that someone is him, apparently? Irrational possessiveness flares up in his chest at the thought of everyone seeing Lando as just… handsome alpha. He is, surely; Oscar is not blind. But he is also so much more and-

‘Penny for your thoughts?’ Charles’s voice brings him back to present. ‘You tensed up.’

Did I? Oscar exhales, realizing that yes, his entire frame tensed up. It’s stupid how he can get into his head about some alpha with whom he had several interactions. Why should he care whether he is seen for something other than miles and miles of tanned skin with toned muscles? The fact that he’s thinking about it while Lando probably doesn’t even remember his name makes Oscar feel like an idiot. ‘The Elders are not against it, you know.’ Charles continues, oblivious to the internal war happening inside his friend. ‘I think they don’t want to say it directly, but you know that we don’t really have lots of alphas here, so at some point I think they will even start pushing this topic themselves.’

The very small numbers of children in both packs are the only thing in which they are similar. It’s obvious that the future of the villages does not look bright from this perspective for neither of them: Oscar’s village is heavily populated with female and male omegas and lacks greatly in male gender alphas or betas, while the North pack has male alphas and betas in abundance. Everything makes sense on paper and Oscar is sure that some couples will form very soon, which will only strengthen their pact with the North pack. ‘Never doubted the Elders in the aspect of thinking through every single detail,’ Oscar mumbles. His voice lacks needed respect when one is speaking about the Elders, but Charles lets it pass, he knows how Oscar feels about their authority. ‘Anyways. Did you talk with Max about the trading ships? They should arrive by the end of this week.’

Charles opens his mouth to answer when a loud murmur travels through the crowd. He quickly glances to check what’s happening and then smirks, nudging Oscar to look too. ‘See, I told you they are the most popular ones.’

Oscar notices Max first. The head alpha of the North pack stands tall and firm as he steps closer, eyes fixated on few pups demonstrating what they learned. When he announces his presence with a cough all North pack pups bow, while Lewis and another alpha turn their heads to the left, baring their throats. It sends a shiver down Oscar’s spine – he wills himself to stand still and act like he’s not affected even if everything in him screams to stand taller and present himself better to the alpha. The way something inside him seems to change and grow and manifest itself into something else entirely is troublesome; he has no idea what to do with it. He wishes he could be like Charles, who stands fully unaffected without weird desires to also turn his head to the left and bare his throat. Oscar is sure if he shared this with Charles his friend would send him to the healers. God, maybe he’s going crazy?

‘Having fun?’ Max asks and his tone is surprisingly kind as he addresses the pups. ‘I see we have new students too.’

‘They came to watch, and I invited them over,’ Lewis explains. He leans in and brushes one of the pup’s hair. ‘They are doing good.’

Max nods seemingly satisfied. He doesn’t look at the crowd at all, ignoring them in favor of giving his attention to every single pup, asking them how they are feeling. It’s unexpectedly sweet; Charles’s scent grows sweeter just a notch. Oscar nudges him with his elbow, smirking – he always knew that Charles has a soft spot for these types of guys. The blond alpha changes places with a tall one with dark curls and funny mustache – Charles quietly lets him know that this is the Daniel he talked about. His strong scent of mint reaches all the way up to Oscar, which makes beta blink in surprise; he never met someone who translates his scent so unabashedly. There’s playful energy around him: he smiles widely, shoots winks left and right and then grins in triumph when the air gets thick with sweetened scents of happy omegas. When he addresses the pups, his voice is loud and friendly, lacking any kind of authority as he explains how he will divide everyone into two groups. ‘This will take a whole day, so if you’re coming then you’re coming, no whining, yeah?’ Daniel warns jokingly, failing to make a stern expression. ‘Now-‘

‘Wait, Danny, we need to ask permission first.’ Lewis interrupts him and turns to the side where Oscar and Charles stand. ‘We can’t just take their pups without saying anything. Oscar? Can you come up?’

Oscar blinks. He doesn’t move at first, startled by the sudden attention that he gets from everyone turning at him. Only when Charles impatiently hisses at him to go does he move his legs and walk towards Lewis. He can feel all the eyes on him and his skin prickles with the judging stares, with the sudden hush that covered the crowd like a blanket. Lewis smiles at him kindly, which does nothing to unfurl the anxiety at his chest at Max’s intense gaze. Muscles in his neck spasm with an urge to turn his head to the left, to acknowledge the head alpha in a correct way, but Oscar stomps down on it violently; he can’t embarrass himself like that against the whole crowd and there’s no correct way. They don’t bow or bare their necks in his place, and he was born here, it’s his place, he belongs here. Traitorous voice whispers how it is the correct thing and Oscar ignores it.

‘Oscar is the teacher of the pups from the South pack,’ Lewis explains. ‘He let little ones skip his lesson and come train with us.’

Oscar doesn’t say anything. Not because he can’t, but because he gets distracted by the familiar scent. He can’t help it – his eyes leave Max’s figure instantly and search for the owner of the scent on their own. He finds Lando quickly: the alpha stands a bit further away, surrounded by three pups from his pack and he’s staring right back at him. With glasses on Oscar can see his expression even from a slight distance and the first thing that pops into his mind when they make eye contact is that Lando’s eyes are the color of sea foam. Green, bits of blue with specks of hidden storm. It’s insane how everything about this alpha reminds Oscar of one thing he hates the most and yet. God, he should be disgusted. He should find Lando repulsive. And yet. What is actually wrong with him?

‘… so. Oscar?’ Oscar turns his head so quickly, he almost snaps his neck. Lewis looks at him with mild confusion but thankfully repeats the question: ‘I asked if you’ll be alright with letting pups come with us. Lando and Daniel will give them a lesson on hunting, they’ll go to the woods in two groups. Your pups seem to be eager, but of course your permission here is the most important thing.’

Oscar chooses to ignore the way his heart jolts at ‘your pups’ part. He can already feel pleading eyes directed at him from all his little students and he can’t look or else it’ll be a losing battle. He needs to check with their parents, probably. Will it look rude to reject the offer right in front of Max? Will he take it as a sign of distrust? Heavens, Oscar wishes he was better at the whole ‘keep peace, don’t start war with incorrectly used words’ thing. How all of the sudden he’s the one in the center of it all?

‘We don’t have all day!’ Daniel says from the back and while the tone of it is light, it still makes Oscar tense up.

Shit. Can he let the pups go? It’s not something they can ever learn from him, Oscar never hunted in his whole life. Any skill is a good skill, and they seem to be so interested, but what if all parents will rip him apart from deciding without counselling with them first? Oscar gulps. He wants to let them go. He wants it so much, knows his mother would’ve supported him here, she would’ve told him it’s good for keeping their connection with wolves steady and Oscar wants that so much. Wants them to run around in their wolves forms, wants them to never become like him who can’t even hear his wolf anymore. He wants-

‘I can take them with me.’ Lando steps forward, nearing Max. He looks at Oscar with an unwavering gaze, his tone confident as he repeats: ‘I can take them with me. Your pups, I mean. Danny will take ours.’

Oscar freezes. Something in his chest unfurls. Your pups. Tension slowly unravels in his body. He looks at Lando and while he doesn’t say it out loud, he hears it loud in clear in his voice. I will take care of them. Trust me. And it’s crazy, Oscar knows. To trust some alpha he he’s not fully familiar with pups is crazy. But he’s not just some alpha, is he? His heart whispers back at him. And Oscar can argue all he wants, but his heart prevails over his mind – he knows he can trust Lando. He can feel it in his bones, he’s sure in it as he’s sure that one plus one equals two. And it’s crazy, yes. But Oscar is helpless against this pull inside towards alpha. He finally finds his voice: ‘Don’t go far.’

It’s unfair the way Lando’s eyes soften at that. It’s also unfair how much Oscar likes it. Lando nods, mouth curling into a small smile. ‘I won’t. We’ll stay just right at the borders; you’ll be able to see us from the main entrance.’

Oscar nods. This seems reasonable. What is unreasonable though is the way his scent goes haywire: it sparks between them like a static, unruly and chaotic. Oscar knows everyone can sense it and he tries to reel it in, ashamed and embarrassed. He colors red from his forehead to his neck, heating up. God, since when his scent just acts out like that? It never was this strong, never reacted this strongly to his own emotions. An apology is on the tip of his tongue when he feels it – cautious way of Lando’s scent reaching out to him. Just a slight push, careful and-

Oscar is too weak to deny himself this. It’s horrifying how every nerve in his body lights up, instantly launching on Lando’s scent like a lifeline. It’s horrifying how Oscar’s shoulders immediately sag in relief once their scents wrap around each other. His nerves mellow down in an instant like a bomb that went off; he doesn’t even have to reign it in for it to dissipate in the air. Remnants of anxiety linger and even they disappear when Lando whispers: ‘I won’t let anything happen to them. I promise.’

Oscar blinks up at him. With his own scent now back to its usual state, he’s now covered in Lando’s pheromones. He feels safe, Oscar realizes. And then he realizes how utterly insane it is. Abruptly, Oscar puts a block, preventing Lando’s scent from reaching him. Lando seems startled by it, but Oscar can’t bring himself to care, because what in the actual fuck was that. In the middle of the square, in front of everyone, in front of his people who never fucking do the scent thing – Oscar nods, avoiding Lando’s gaze. ‘Okay then. Yeah, they can go with you.’

‘Alrighty, my boys come to me!’ Daniel shouts and all pups from the North pack run in his direction, making him laugh. ‘Who’s ready to go hunting?’ A loud chorus of ‘yes’ makes the crowd laugh too. ‘Then let’s go!’

Everyone starts moving. Oscar prays for a quick retreat, wants to get out of here now, because his heart won’t stop pounding and his brain is a mush of unfiltered thoughts. He is ready to flee from the scene when a curly haired boy emerges from the crowd and goes to stand right next to Lando. A sweet scent of oranges tickles Oscar’s nose and he’s pretty in a way that only omegas can be. He bumps shoulders with Lando and sends him sweet smile. ‘I’ll help, yeah?’

Oscar should stop looking. Especially because looking at them makes something squeeze in his chest uncomfortably. He forcefully tears his gaze away from the stranger, from the way he’s so casually familiar with Lando. ‘Thank you for the permission, Oscar.’ Lewis nods at him with a smile. ‘Sorry for derailing your lessons in such way.’

‘All good,’ Oscar huffs, concentrating hard on Lewis even when Lando’s eyes drill holes in his body. ‘Thank you for asking first.’

Doriane and Oliver suddenly ran to him, clinging to his pants with big eyes. ‘Come with us, Oscar?’ Oliver asks in a sweet tone, using all of his charm.

‘Yes, Oscar. Please?’ Doriane stares at him with her blue eyes and Oscar can’t help but smile, ruffling her hair gently. She leans into his touch like a flower leans towards the sun and his heart squeezes in his chest. He loves them so much.

‘I’ll have to pass,’ Oscar says, pursing his lips at the sad look he instantly receives. ‘But have fun, yeah? And be good.’

He can’t ignore it anymore; Oscar thinks one more second and Lando will set him on fire with the intensity of his gaze. He looks up at the alpha, trying not to show a myriad of emotions that rage in his chest on his face. It’s not normal, Oscar wants to say. What you make me feel, how you make me feel – it’s not normal. But his face is a mask if impassiveness and he’s sure that Lando can’t see through it. ‘Bring them back to lunchtime, please.’ His voice cracks a little at the end, but he manages to sound devoid of any warmth.

Lando notices the change, surely. His eyebrows furrow and his jaw sets. ‘Of course.’

He looks at Oscar like he’s expecting to say something else. Like maybe he thinks Oscar will throw away the mask of stoic indifference. But Oscar only waves to the pups and turns away like a coward he is. It’s better to be a coward, he thinks, than to set yourself on fire.

He stops close to Charles, who’s watching him with a worried expression. His friend reaches out for a hug, but Oscar shakes his head – he can’t right now, he’s too overwhelmed. The crowd disperses quickly after that and Oscar watches as Daniel and Lando lead the groups towards the entrance gates. Curly haired omega stands close to Lando, but also talks to the pups and laughs loudly. Suddenly Oscar thinks of what Charles told him about omegas and alphas and he can see it, really. Lando will easily find himself here a suitable omega. A popular alpha, who’s second in command of the head alpha of the pack, with his looks he can get anyone. He will protect that omega fiercely just like he protects the pups. He will probably be gentle and sweet too. Or maybe he already has one omega from his own pack, the one he comes back home to every night and wraps them in his arms and his scent. Makes them feel safe. For some reason Oscar has no doubts that any omega would be happy, very happy with Lando. And for some reason, he wants to cry.

=+=

‘I heard about the hunting lessons,’ Nicole says, shattering comfortable bubble of silence.

Oscar hums noncommittally. In this village news spread like wildfire. ‘Pups enjoyed it a lot,’ he offers, smiling.

Oscar is absolutely exhausted, but just the mention of the pups is enough to bring a smile to his face. Their excitement when they came back was palpable, they attacked Oscar all together with shiny eyes and rapid speech, interrupting one another in haste to share their emotions. It was great to see – Oscar can honestly say that he never managed to get them this excited about anything. They came back with dirty clothes and small bruises here and there, but smiles on their faces were so wide that Oscar didn’t bother to say a thing about twigs and leaves in their hair or clothes.

‘It’s beautiful,’ his mother comments, smiling when Oscar hands her cup of tea. ‘I went out to bring some of my herbs to Leclercs and saw them running around from the gates. I haven’t seen pups as wolves in such a long time, it really was a beautiful sight.’

Oscar nods in agreement. He did catch some glimpses of them as well and his heart soared at that sight. ‘They loved it,’ he says. ‘I’m happy they got to experience it.’

He thankfully didn’t get torn apart by parents who later learned of the lesson – Oscar expected the worst but got out unscathed. The silence settles after his answer, a comfortable one as him and his mother collect all of her jars in one big bag for the trade ships. Oscar doesn’t tell her about how looking at pups at that time made him feel both elated and incredibly sad. Elated for the pups, for their ability to experience it, for their obvious happiness. Incredibly sad for himself, because he doesn’t have this connection with wolf anymore, because even if he tried, even if he wanted, he will probably not manage to shift. Oscar doesn’t tell her about the pang in his chest, how he longed to feel that harmony – the one that can only being one with the wolf can bring – again.

‘They can continue experiencing it, no?’ His mother asks carefully. She doesn’t stop carefully closing the jar lids, but her body turns slightly towards her son. ‘Or this was a one-time thing?’

‘Depends on the North pack, if they are ready to welcome our pups to their lessons then I certainly won’t stand in the way.’

His mother reaches out and claps his hand in hers. Oscar instantly pauses, looking up – her light brown orbs stare back at him with all the understanding in the world. ‘Your lessons are just as valuable as theirs are, dearest.’

It never fails to surprise Oscar how easily she can see right through him, how bare he always is in front of her. Of course Oscar thought about that, it’s hard not to when it’s clear as a day that pups enjoy this way more than sitting with him in a stuffy room and going over numbers and letters. ‘Their lessons are better,’ he admits with a heavy heart. ‘I know it.’

‘It’s not about one lesson being better than the other one, it’s about harmony. Both are valuable and both can co-exist at the same time.’ Nicole squeezes his fingers lovingly. ‘I know you’re thinking about all of the differences, but they shouldn’t set us apart, they can bring us together. What a blessed thing it is for our pups to be able to see both sides, to experiences both ways at once.’

Not for the first time, Oscar wonders why his mother is not the head of the council instead of Fernando or Carlos’s dad. He smiles, nodding. She is right, of course; she always is. Deep inside he knows that his teachings are important, incredibly so, they are just not meant to evoke such strong emotions from the students – still feels good to hear verbal confirmation though. He shyly smiles at his mother, who leans closer and leaves a small kiss on his forehead. ‘I’m so proud of you,’ she whispers, and it sounds like the truth. ‘For letting them do this.’

Oscar partly did it for her, but for himself too. It healed something in him too. ‘I will speak to Lewis or Nico about the next lessons. Or maybe I could ask Charles to speak to their head pack alpha, he seems to have good relationship with him, maybe he can help with this issue.’

‘You do that, dear.’ Nicole hands him one last jar. ‘I heard another thing today. Just in the passing though, didn’t really get the whole picture.’

‘Heard what?’ Oscar grabs the bag and carries it to the living room to not hog the space in the kitchen. ‘Do you want more tea?’

His mother replies only once he’s back in the kitchen. There’s a steaming mug on the table and she nods at him to sit, which means whatever she’s going to say to is rather serious. ‘Did something else happen today? Everyone is talking about you and your interaction with alpha from the North pack.’

Oscar supposes he should’ve seen it coming. He narrowly avoided Charles and his interrogation but only because the Elders snatched him for one of their requests, giving Oscar room to escape. Throughout the day Oscar felt gazes on his back from everyone, heard their not so quiet whispers circling around him. No one was bold enough to come up and ask him questions, but everyone was wondering what the hell happened at the square between him and Lando. For once Oscar is happy for complete obliviousness and utter lack of knowledge from majority of the people in his pack – no one knows much about scenting here. Oscar knows of it because it was present in his family as scents always mingled in their house in a free way: his mother always reached for his father, softening his strong cardamon with her mellow herbs whenever he got mad or making it shine even brighter whenever he was happy. From his childhood he remembers this inkling, this shudder than ran down his spine when her scent would reach out to him, intertwining gently and pulling him out of his shell. It used to be as natural as breathing back then, but times started to change and slowly Oscar lost his ability to control his scent, reach out with him towards anyone, forgot how it can change depending on his emotions. With time his scent grew weaker, becoming almost nonexistent. He doesn’t want to think how it awakened due to certain alpha.

‘What people are saying?’ Oscar asks in a tight voice.

His mother reaches out and covers his palm with hers. ‘I don’t care what they are saying. I want to know what you are saying, dearest. What happened there?’

Oscar is a horrible liar. The tips of his ears go red, and he stammers through his sentences in such a way that only an idiot won’t realize that he’s lying. So, he doesn’t even try to put up an act and just blatantly tells his mother everything. Everything. From his first encounter with Lando to their weird meetups by the sea. Tells her how his scent reminds him of everything bad that happened in their family, tells her how he never felt anything like it when their scents reached out to each other. Tells her about meeting George, tells her what happened today at the square. Well, Oscar doesn’t tell her everything, no. Not because he wants to hide something, but because there are things with which he didn’t come to terms with himself. Like the way his heart longs to reach out for Lando’s scent again. Like how he is scared of what it might mean, of what it already means to him. He doesn’t tell her of the war inside himself between what he shouldn’t want versus what he wants versus what he should want. He doesn’t tell her how he thinks Lando is unfairly beautiful, because Oscar has never ever thought of anyone that way. Lando’s beautiful in a way that aches, because this beauty is unobtainable, too out of reach. Oscar doesn’t say it because he realizes how insane it is to think this about a person he met one month ago. He can talk about how right it feels when their scents mingle together, because this part is fine – he can’t do anything about it and it’s not under his control. But the part about him feeling sick when thinking of Lando with some omega is not fine – it’s totally under his control and he can do something about it. His stupid heart just refuses to listen to him. ‘I don’t think anyone from our pack clocked what happened,’ Oscar finishes off in an emotionless tone. ‘They just probably think I am getting closer to alphas from the North pack because of my own, I don’t know, hidden agenda or something like that. I’m not, obviously, but- yeah. Whatever, honestly, they can think what they want, mom. I don’t care. I just want pups to continue getting their lessons.’

‘You trust Lando,’ she states and it’s not a question. ‘If you let our pups with him then it means you trust him.’

Oscar opens his mouth to disagree. Closes it. ‘I do.’

He finally looks up to gauge his mother’s reaction and freezes, when he sees tears in her eyes. He hasn’t seen them in so long that this image shocks him to the core; panic flares up in his chest and he sits up straighter, reaching towards her, when she starts waving her hands and shaking her head, telling him not to move. ‘Mom-‘

‘I’m fine, I’m sorry my dear, I promise you I’m fine.’ Nicole laughs a little, wiping a few tears away. She takes a deep breath and sniffles, looking at Oscar with pride he doesn’t think he deserves. ‘I’m just so, so happy. I never thought you’d get to experience it, Oscar. When your scent became weak, when you stopped transforming, when your connection with your wolf faded, I was so distraught, but I could understand. I knew why it happened, and I didn’t say anything because I wanted you all to be happy, to fit in, to feel like you are part of this pack. I thought I was imagining it, you know? When within the last two weeks your scent got stronger, I thought I was just hallucinating, seeing things I want. But turns out I was right, hm?’ Nicole reaches out, cradling his face in her hands. ‘You’re coming back to yourself, aren’t you, my boy?’

Oscar is too scared to breathe. He’s too scared to move, to let himself hope. ‘What? Mom-‘

‘Your scent is stronger, and you already can reach out to others with it,’ she interrupts, voice reverent. She’s looking at him like he’s the biggest treasure in this world and Oscar wants to cry. ‘You were born here, yes, but my blood is in you, the North blood. This alpha, this Lando boy – if he feels right, my dear, then it’s because it is right. It means that he-‘

‘He’s an alpha,’ Oscar interrupts this time hastily. His throat constricts and it’s hard to swallow. He can’t let his mother continue what she was going to say. ‘It doesn’t- it can’t mean anything.’ His mother watches him with a frown and Oscar hates how he has to say it out loud, has to admit it: ‘He’s an alpha. And- and I’m beta.’

There’s a pause and then his mother lets out a long and tragic: ‘Oh, Oscar.’

There’s so much in that ‘Oh, Oscar’: there’s sadness (Oscar hates it) and pity (Oscar hates it even more) and maybe even regret. Oscar can’t believe he said it. He also can’t believe that stating a simple fact about his status, something which he was fine with his whole life, now makes his heart break. His eyes sting with unshed tears, but he holds them back with sheer willpower – no, he’s not going to cry. Crying is not shameful but crying because of this is. His mother stares at him like he’s about to fall apart any second now and it’s just- a lot. Oscar is beta. And it’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with that. He doesn’t hate it, can’t really care less for it. He says as much to her. ‘So it doesn’t matter,’ Oscar hates how his voice doesn’t sound as steady as he wants it to be. ‘Our scents are just compatible and because of that my scent is getting stronger, I guess. There’s nothing more in it.’

It sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself in this instead of his mom. It’s stupid, because Nicole sees right through him and Oscar knows that he’s not convincing anyone here. His mother knows when to not push though; she swiftly drops this topic much to Oscar’s relief. ‘Your wolf is awakening too,’ she says, gently rubbing Oscar’s shoulder. ‘If the scent is getting stronger then most likely – give it a month, my dear. I think you’ll feel that pull from him soon.’

And isn’t that a thought – Oscar shivers just from the possibility of it. He’s too scared to even think about it, too afraid to jinx it, so he only nods, acknowledging her words. His mother looks like she just heard the best news of her life – her scent bursts with happiness and Oscar breathes it in greedily. When she gets up to hug him, Oscar springs back from his chair and buries his face in her hair, inhaling like a man who’s about to die. His mother is happy and it’s been so long, too long since her scent twirled around him in joy like that and his own scent unravels too. They don’t say anything for a while, just bask in this warmth in each other’s arms. Oscar places few kisses on top of her head, hugging her tighter. He can handle all of the talks from people of this village just for moments like this one.

‘I don’t care that people talk,’ his mother says, looking up at him with earnest eyes. ‘I only care about you and your happiness. Don’t think about them, dearest. Do what you think is right, okay?’

Oscar nods. ‘Okay, mom.’

Her warm hand caresses his cheekbone lovingly. ‘You could never fit in here. Maybe because you weren’t meant to.’ Oscar’s breath hitches and he freezes. Nicole’s eyes are full of love as he gazes upon him with a watery smile. ‘Do what feels right, too. Even if your head screams at you.’

‘Kinda hard to, with all the screaming, you know.’ Oscar mutters, going for a joke but ending up choking on the words.

‘I know,’ a stray tear falls down his mother’s eye. ‘Trust me, I know. Just- trust yourself, my dear. Your instincts, your heart. They will take you to the place where you belong.’ She squeezes his cheek. ‘Or to someone you belong.’

Oscar closes his eyes. ‘Mom-‘

‘I want to go to the next lesson,’ she interrupts, voice too upbeat to not be fake. She rarely makes demands, but this is a demand. ‘I want to meet the North pack pups and I want to watch them shift with my own eyes.’

Oscar only nods. ‘Okay.’

She nods too and slowly steps back, holding his wrists loosely. Her eyes stare right into his soul and Oscar knows what she means, knows exactly what she’s talking about when she says: ‘I know everything is strictly aligned shelf by shelf in your head. I know you think exceptions don’t exist. But they do, my dear. They do.’

Oscar has nothing to say about that, because even if exceptions did exist - he's never been God's favorite, anyway.

=+=

There’s blood everywhere. The vision is hazy; everything is too big like you’re looking at it through magnifying glass. The air is stale and smells like something rotten. Smells like death. It’s someone’s house and every piece of furniture is upside down in a way that indicates a big fight. There’s ragged breathing disturbing the silence and a loud cough follows shortly. The scene changes to a familiar alpha leaning heavily on the chair, clutching at his left side with a grimace. There’s blood, lots of it. Nothing is certain but death’s presence is strong, meaning alpha is dying. The vision suddenly shifts, magnifying glass disappears and – it’s Lando.

George wakes up.

Notes:

i am so giddy, i hope you liked this chapter!! let me know all your thoughts on oscar, i'm dying to hear from you guys :')

as always, thank you for the kudos, thank you for reading, thank you for being kid and commenting. love you alll to bits <3 - nini

Chapter 6: bad omens

George is not a big fan of coming to Max’s house: the suffocating scent of anger lives in the walls and, paired with Max’s looming presence, it doesn’t make a welcoming and cozy home. He’s on his knees in the middle of the living room with his head bowed and hands clasped in front of him – a position in which he finds himself more and more often with the visions frequenting. He doesn’t really mind it; George came in terms with certain traditions in the North a long, long time ago.

‘Anything else?’ Max asks in an icy tone.

George shakes his head. He wants to point out that this question was asked literally one minute before, but he doesn’thave suicidal tendencies, so he simply repeats again: ‘No.’

‘But there must be something else,’ Daniel speaks up. His mint scent swirls around the room chaotically, revealing his nerves. ‘You can’t just drop it like that and expect us to be okay with it. Think again, George.’

George doesn’t look up and just stares at his hands in front of him. He can feel Alex’s gaze on him from across the room, can sense his mate’s frustration at Daniel’s request. George gets it, he really does, he wishes nothing more than for his visions to be clearer. He sometimes thinks it’s not a blessing, but a curse: to get these visions but not to be able to make anything concrete out of them, to just know what might happen but never have full confidence in anything. Part of him wants to shout at Daniel and tell him that no one fucking understands how it feels to almost live a different life in his visions, to wake up disoriented and panicked, to try and remember everything he saw with fear of forgetting some important details gnawing your head.

‘Listen, George, I don’t mean to sound belittling but-‘

‘He already told you everything he saw,’ Alex cuts Daniel off with a stern voice. ‘You know better than to even question this, George’s been nothing but loyal to this pack from the start.’

George closes his eyes. Breathes in. Alex’s scent is tainted with anger and protectiveness, which makes George relax just a little. He’d never survive these meetings if it weren’t for his mate, his silly mate who is not afraid to go against Daniel or Max or anyone else who dares to make George feel lesser than he is. George’s heart grows ten times, when Alex’s scent wraps around him in a protective cocoon, shielding him from Daniel’s angry scent. It’s a silly move, Alex stands below in hierarchy and one word from Max will have him exiled, but he’s never thinking of himself when it comes to George. Silly, silly mate. George opens his eyes and inhales deeply, letting his favorite scent ever settle deep in his bones. Absolutely perfect mate for George though.

‘It’s Lando,’ Daniel says with a raw ache in his voice. His anger turns into a fear. ‘It’s Lando.’

George’s throat tightens. He understands this fear very well – Lando is one of his best friends too and he cried for an hour after that vision. There was so much blood and Lando was dying and just the thought of Lando hurting makes George want to throw up. ‘It’s just a possibility,’ he grits out, finally raising his head. ‘One of the million possible outcomes in the future. We don’t know for sure.’

It does nothing to somehow ease the worries, but he needs to say this out loud. He doesn’t want to sit here and act like Lando’s fate has been decided, George knows firsthand how many of his visions didn’t come true at all. He refuses to believe that this is how everything will end for that stubborn curly-haired alpha, who called George ‘a bean pole’ when they could barely walk and then stuck by his side since then. George already knows the answer to his question, but he still tries: ‘Maybe we can get Lando out of the patrol duty?’

Daniel shifts subtly, glancing at their head pack alpha. Max’s face is an unreadable mask for someone who doesn’t know where to look, but George does: he sees worry etched in the crystal-clear blue eyes, sees anger etched in white knuckled grip of the seat. Max might look indifferent from the outside, but George knows how fiercely loyal he is to those he loves. And he loves Lando. So maybe-

‘No.’ Max says in a tone that it makes clear he will receive no objections. ‘I won’t let one of our best fighters sit and not patrol just out of a mere possibility of him getting hurt.’

George hates how this logical answer makes hair on his arms stand up. And he truly understands, knows Lando will be the first to reject the mere idea of him not being useful to the pack, knows that he will deny the order and go to the patrols anyways. And it still stings, this cold logic of the had pack alpha. ‘Understood.’

‘I think it goes without saying that Lando should not learn about this. Alex, you will also join the patrol duty starting today. Check with the healers and take anyone who’s also fit with you.’ Max orders. ‘Me and Daniel will join the Elders today at the ships arrival just to check how this trade looks and is there anything useful for us. George- ‘Max pauses, waiting for George to look up and meet his gaze. ‘Go and rest. Go to the healers if you must, I need you strong and healthy in case of more visions.’

Alex’s scent flares up in anger as it always does whenever George is being seen more as a commodity than a person. George is so used to it that he merely blinks. ‘Clear.’

He leaves Max’s house with trembles on his knees and Alex’s hand wrapped around his waist. They don’t say anything at first, but once they are far enough Alex turns and kisses George with all of the care in the world, trying to erase his worries with a press of his lips. ‘I’m sorry that it’s like this,’ Alex whispers regretfully. ‘I wish I could- I wish it was different’.

George’s answering smile is watery. ‘Yeah, me too.’

Alex leans in, peppering little kisses all over George’s face, making him feel loved and cared for. ‘You’re amazing, Georgie. With or without visions.’

George thinks he doesn’t mind all of the shit that comes with being the chosen one if Alex is right next to him, ready to remind him all the time that he is more than that.

=+=

One week later

Deer’s fur is heavy and soft to the touch as Oscar examines the blanket laid out in front of him. Mark is an honest man and never tried to fool him, but you always have to be careful with anyone from the trade ships. He turns the blanket over all under Mark’s watchful gaze before nodding: ‘Good, I’ll take this one.’

Mark smiles, approving his choice. ‘I’m sure Nicole will love it. The jars?’

Oscar hands him three ointments from infections, carefully folding the blanket. ‘Thanks, Mark. And some coats and gloves, maybe?’

It already begins to smell like winter – beginning of November brings unruly wind and frequent storms. Last year’s winter was rather mild, but Oscar can tell that this year everything will be worse, so he looks carefully through Mark’s assortment, trying to go for the warmest pieces for his mother and himself. Mark tells Oscar latest news from the West, the place for all the traders and foreigners. The place where Oscar’s sisters and his father were supposed to go, but the sea prevented them from doing so, turning its back on the ship in the face of a powerful storm. Oscar used to not be able to look at Mark’s face because it reminded him of his father, but with time he learned to appreciate this man, who looks out for Oscar and his mother in his own ways.

‘How’s the new pack?’ Mark asks, picking two pairs of fuzziest and warmest socks he has and hiding them in Oscar’s bag. ‘Merger went smoothly?’

‘No one is fighting if that’s what you’re asking,’ Oscar replies. He picks one big green coat and shows it to Mark, who nods in approval. ‘I guess all is well. Why, are there any rumors outside?’

‘Some talks here and there, everyone is quite impressed with the Elders choosing to stick with merger despite Jos Verstappen being dead.’ Mark lowers his voice then even though there’s no one at the ship but Oscar: ‘What I’m hearing about the Outlanders is not good.’

Oscar tenses. Just the mention of the Outlanders is enough to turn blood in his veins into ice. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he asks: ‘They are near?’

‘Getting closer and closer,’ Mark confirms. ‘After Jos Verstappen’s death they moved a little higher up for the smaller packs. Ever heard of small villages closer to the center? They conquered most of them if what I heard is true.’

Oscar is far from geopolitical news, but he knows what it means, hears the unsaid words clearly – your village is next. Oscar supposes it makes sense to start from the small ones, gather new people there and come to them with newly added recruits. Before all these talks sounded like a distant fever dream, but now when the danger is so close that you can feel its’ breath on the back of your neck, there’s no room for dreams.

‘I’ll take these two,’ Oscar motions to the big green coat and a smaller brown one. ‘I can give more ointments for infections, or we’ve got-‘

‘Just take them, Oscar.’ Mark waves him off. ‘I… I wanted to speak to you. Sit down, yeah?’

Frowning, Oscar obediently sits down. He doesn’t like getting things for free, doesn’t like these pitiful glances – he doesn’t need any pity from anyone. Mark sits in front of him, looking tense and uncomfortable. He’s not even looking Oscar in the eyes – he’s staring intensely at the hands on his knees. Mark is not the one to hesitate, so the way he’s acting right now alerts Oscar that upcoming conversation won’t be good. Shit, did Mark decide that he doesn’t want to come here anymore? That he won’t continue helping Oscar with getting the best stuff? Or maybe-

‘Come with me,’ Mark says in a gruff voice, slowly looking up. ‘You and your mother. I’m planning to take my crew back to the West tomorrow and we have space for both of you. This region is dangerous, Oscar. What I heard about the Outlanders is enough to scare a full-grown man, I can’t let you two stay here, when there are places much safer.’

Nothing could’ve prepared Oscar for this. He’s so stunned that his jaw drops, and his mouth forms a little ‘o’ out of shock. Mark stares at him with an unwavering gaze, not a hint of smile on his face, which makes it clear that he is not joking, that this is something he truly thought of. A wild mix of emotions rush through Oscar: gratefulness for being so considerate, surprise of realizing that Mark is ready to do something so big for them, fear of something that can drastically change their lives being presented to him just like that.

‘I would take care of you,’ Mark says solemnly. ‘I would find you a place to live, I would make sure you’re all set. You’re not a warrior, Oscar, you won’t be able to withstand the Outlanders. And Nicole… we both know her health is declining. There are people in the West who can help.’

Oscar purses his lips. Using his mother’s health to manipulate his decision is a low blow. He almost tells Mark that in the past week his mother was the happiest he’s ever seen her after the tragic loss ten years ago; she spent whole week with the pups from both packs, watching them train and joining Oscar on his lessons. Her eyes shone with pure happiness when she watched little wolves run around freely, when she sat closer to the North pack pups to help them during Oscar’s classes. He almost tells Mark that his mother doesn’t need some friend of her dead husband-

‘And there’s nothing holding you here. There’s no reason for you two to stay, right?’ Mark asks, interrupting Oscar’s thoughts.

He halts, biting his tongue. That… is true. There’s nothing holding him here. This South pack has never felt like home, never felt like he truly belonged, so on that part he’s fully on board with leaving. But. But- isn’t it weird that he even has a but here? Isn’t it even weirder that when he thinks of a reason to stay certain alpha’s face comes to mind? Isn’t it absolutely mental how he thinks about the pups, how he longs to be with them, how he can’t stand the thought of just leaving them behind?

‘I will think about it.’ Oscar manages to croak out, hoping he doesn’t sound as dejected as he feels.

Mark looks at him like he already knows that Oscar wants to reject this proposal. His gaze is heavy on him but then he just nods. ‘Okay, Oscar. Think about it, I will leave tomorrow after lunch.’

It’s awkward afterwards. They shuffle in silence around the ship as Oscar gathers all of his stuff and then Mark does the weird thing when he is not sure whether to hug Oscar or pat his back or squeeze his shoulder affectionately. In the end he settles to pat his shoulder awkwardly and Oscar feels his gaze on his back as he goes back to the crowd. The ship trade days are always hectic with too many people gathered on the shore: it’s loud and rowdy in the worst way possible. Oscar nods to everyone in the passing and pauses, when he notices Lewis and George standing not far from the ladder, watching the scene while quietly talking to each other. They both notice Oscar at the same time and the way their faces instantly break out in small smiles makes something warm bloom in Oscar’s chest.

‘Already done?’ Lewis asks good-naturedly once Oscar comes closer. ‘I figured the party was just starting, no?’

‘I got my stuff. It’ll be this busy till the evening, by that time usually everyone gets what they wanted and most of the harvest is also embarked on the ships. Everyone then goes to dinner,’ Oscar explains. ‘You’re just checking or? I can help if you’re a bit lost on where to go.’

George smiles, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder lightly. ‘Thanks, Oscar, but we’re just here to watch. As you can guess we never had these trade ships days in the North.’

‘Haven’t see you around on the lessons,’ Lewis chimes in. ‘Pups always talk about you, you know? All the talks are about how Oscar said that and how they can’t wait to show Oscar this. It’s very cute.’

Oscar would’ve loved nothing more than to join the pups on their lessons and watch them enjoy the connection with their wolves, but coming out means seeing Lando and Oscar is dead set on limiting his exposure to sea foam eyed alpha to the maximum. He’s not doing the full on ignoring because that would’ve been too suspicious, but Oscar is making sure to avoid any eye contact with him whenever he drops pups off for the class and doesn’t speak to him unless it’s necessary. At the first day Lando looked confused by his behavior, on the second he looked worried, on the third he looked lost and at the fourth day he came with a mask of indifference that could’ve battled Oscar’s own. He didn’t spare a single glance at Oscar and didn’t even acknowledge him on the fifth day and on the sixth he acted like Oscar didn’t exist. Oscar knows it’s fully deserved. Knows that his abrupt change in the behavior looked very strange to Lando, because it’s not like something bad happened and they drifted apart. To alpha’s knowledge they were good, and he probably has no idea how bad and far Oscar spiraled in his thoughts. And Oscar spiraled far – he spent majority of the week barely sleeping, trying to understand what is going on with himself. Because since the North pack arrived, since Lando arrived, his body felt like it didn’t belong to him, like it was something foreign; everything kept changing and Oscar hates changes, hates surprises, hates unforeseen circumstances. He doesn’t like how his thoughts are changing trajectory, how everything he learned before feels fake, how his armor is cracking open, how something inside of him grows at a rapid speed. That something scares Oscar to the point of paralysis, because he doesn’t know what it is, but he knows it’s strong enough to change him, to change his whole life. He’s not getting enough sleep, he’s tired of overthinking and most of all he’s tired of all of the emotions that make no sense. He wants answers. He wants someone to come up to him and help him sort the mess inside of him, putting everything on shelves they belong to. He wants peace, he wants sleep. He thought that minimizing his communication with Lando will help that, but when on the fifth day he didn’t even greet Oscar and acted like he wasn’t there – it only seemed to make everything worse.

‘I’m busy,’ Oscar answers in a clipped tone, not looking anyone in the eye. ‘If you don’t need anything else then-‘

‘Oscar!’ Logan’s voice is unmistakable. His blond friend catches up with them and wraps his arm around Oscar’s shoulders protectively, pulling him closer. ‘Hey, mate, I was looking for you.’ Logan turns to Lewis and George and his voice shifts to a much bitter one as he mutters: ‘Hello to you too. I gotta snatch Oscar, sorry guys.’

He doesn’t even wait for them to reply before pushing Oscar up the ladder. Oscar notices the way Lewis frowns and how George tenses up as he waves to them and turns back to Logan. ‘What the hell was that?’

‘What do you mean?’ Logan is, probably, and even worse liar than Oscar. He grabs one of his bags, helping him carry the load up the stairs. ‘I just wanted to talk to you, that’s all.’

‘Mate, you looked at them like you’re about to chew their heads off,’ Oscar reprimands, slightly out of breath. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. ‘And don’t lie to me, you’re shit at that.’

Logan doesn’t say anything until they reach the top of the stairs. Here the bustle on the shore fades into the background and Oscar unconsciously breathes out, happy to be away from the crowd. He can tell that Logan wants to talk, but he’s already emotionally taxed from conversation with Mark, so he prays it’s not something serious. In silence they both step out in the direction opposite the houses, where the North pack lives. Logan pauses not far from where the forest starts, helping Oscar put his bags close to the lonely house that stands away from all the others. The familiar scent in the air makes Oscar pause and he glances at the house warily. He looks back in the opposite direction, where all the other houses stand and then back at the one in front of him and frowns: it couldn’t possibly be that Lando would choose to live this far from others, right? But his scent is very present in the air in the same way Oscar’s home smells like his mother and himself. Stomach lurching uncomfortably, Oscar turns to Logan: ‘I think we should-‘

‘Why the hell are you talking to them, mate?’ Logan suddenly interrupts in an agitated voice.

He sounds angry and this anger catches Oscar off guard. Lando’s scent long forgotten, he steps closer to his friend, confused: ‘What? You mean Lewis and George?’

Logan rolls his eyes, huffing in exasperation: ‘Yes, Oscar, them. You don’t have any business in getting close to these guys, so are you acting like that?’

Oscar is too confused to make sense out of this. He has a gnawing feeling that he knows where this is going, but he hopes he’s very, very wrong. ‘Logan, why are you angry? I don’t get it.’

Him and Logan don’t really fight, they surely argue and sometimes get fed up with each other, but they always know when to just nod and accept a different point of view and move on. With years of friendship comes this silent understanding of boundaries that can’t be crossed, and Oscar knows that Logan is well aware of his rather fried mental state and the fact that he still chooses to push means it’s something very important.

‘Oscar, I don’t know if you noticed but this North pack is different,’ Logan says the last word like it’s a curse. ‘They are- freaks, Oscar. I’m not going to comment on the fact that you let them teach our pups, but I can’t keep my mouth shut any longer about you mixing with them like they are your pack. You think I haven’t seen you talking frequently to that George guy? How you stand close to Lewis? How you and that Lando are doing this- whatever the fuck it was that you did that day on the square?’

The ships were supposed to arrive one week earlier but because they didn’t, the whole community got pulled into general preparations for the winter. Oscar obviously helped as well and he didn’t even notice how most of the time he spent with members of the North pack. Him and George talked about classes and education, him and Lewis discussed history and traditions, he showed Alex his way around the kitchen; he spent a lot of time with their pups as well, the older ones. They treated Oscar warily at first but then got used to his presence on the lessons and by the end of the week they were waving to him with big smiles on their faces. Oscar wants to say that he didn’t do it on purpose – it just happened naturally and it felt too good for him to stop. He’s not surprised that Logan noticed, but he is surprised that it comes with such anger.

‘Logan, change your tone, mate.’ Oscar doesn’t want to let this escalate, so his own voice is leveled with a hint of exasperation. ‘One, they are not freaks. What the fuck does that even mean? Two, I’m spending more time with these guys because of the lessons. There’s nothing wrong here and there’s definitely nothing happening for you to act like I am betraying this pack. And third, there’s nothing between me and Lando, for fuck’s sake.’

This behavior is very unlike Logan: his friend is usually the friendliest person and never has harsh feelings about anything or anyone. Logan is a typical happy-go-lucky guy and Oscar envied him for his innate ability to relax and be a bit careless. But the Logan standing in front of him right now looks like he’s ready to start a war over Oscar spending more time with the North pack and it just makes no sense. Charles did mention that briefly that some group of people against the North pack has formed, but Oscar would’ve never guessed that Logan is part of it.

‘Oscar, open your fucking eyes!’ Logan shouts, raising his hands up. He looks like he’s on the brink of losing his mind because Oscar doesn’t get his point of view. ‘They are inching their way into our pack. Our pups are learning how to be what? More likes wolves? For fucking what, we have never been like that! And you’re enabling them! We are not animals, we don’t bare our throats like fucking submissive freaks, we don’t-‘

‘Logan, shut up.’ Oscar interrupts, barely holding his anger in. ‘Don’t fucking- call them animals one more and I swear I’ll fucking fight you. They are not animals or freaks or whatever the hell you think they are in your head. It’s fucked up-’

‘Why? Are they brainwashing you? So you want to protect them, so you can be on their side?’

Oscar is not a violent person. He doesn’t have sudden anger outbursts, he never translates his frustrations in a physical way, he doesn’t throw his fists around because he believes that restoring to violence is the last available option ever. But right now? His fists itch with the desire to connect with Logan’s pretty face. He’s practically buzzing with suppressed anger, his whole body is taut and nerves alight with fury. He can’t believe what he’s hearing, can’t believe that this is real, that it’s Logan who’s telling him this. It angers him because it hurts, because Logan thinks that the people to whom Oscar relates to the most are animals and freaks. The fury inside him babbles like lava, because none of the North pack deserves to be looked at this way, spoken about in such terms. He’s trying to control his breathing and only because of that does he notice the shift in the air. Logan continues talking, entirely oblivious to how the scent around them changes and grows dark. The sea salt and bitter scent of seaweed fill the space and Oscar freezes, when the door behind him creaks open. Logan halts mid-sentence and his eyes widen as he sees who comes out of the house. Oscar doesn’t turn, can’t make himself do it; he can’t bear to look into Lando’s eyes now, too afraid of what he’s going to see in them.

‘Why did you stop?’ Lando asks from behind him in a suspiciously calm voice. ‘Go on, Logan. Don’t mind me.’

Lando is not angry, no. Lando is livid. Oscar wouldn’t have been able to move even if he wanted to – Lando’s scent has his legs chained to the ground. He stands unmoving, watching milliard emotions pass Logan’s face before he settles on a rude sneer. Oscar’s ribs threaten to crack with how fast his heart is beating, how it bounces and wants to get out. Lando takes three steps closer and Oscar’s hair on the neck stands up from sudden proximity. He can feel the heat coming from Lando’s body and knows that the alpha is standing so close that even a tiny movement from Oscar will result in them touching.

‘Why did you stop?’ Lando repeats and his voice vibrates within Oscar like some musical instrument. ‘As this whole performance was crafted for me, I’d like to see the end of it.’

Oscar blinks. What? ‘What?’ He asks, bewildered.

Lando bypasses him from the right side, standing now just a bit further. When he turns to Oscar, his eyes are the color of the bottom of the sea, dark and unforgiving. ‘You didn’t know?’ Lando asks coldly, holding Oscar trapped with eye contact. ‘This friend of yours was here, he knew that I live here. He brought you here on purpose, so I could hear this whole thing.’ Lando turns to Logan then, baring his teeth. ‘So? Why don’t you continue? I want to hear everything you have to say.’

Oscar head spins. The worst part of it is how Logan stays silent, not denying a word from Lando and it’s- ‘Why?’ Oscar lets out, trembling with anger. ‘Why did you-‘

‘Because he wanted me to hear,’ Lando interrupts, still looking at Logan. ‘Because he thought that I am a bad influence on you, because he thinks there’s something going on between me and you. Because he thought that you’d agree with him and I’ll back off after I hear that you also think that we are animals.’ Lando then turns back to Oscar, his entire face softening just a fraction as he says: ‘But you didn’t.’

Oscar’s breath hitches. The way Lando looks at him – really looks at him – makes Oscar realize how much he missed having Lando’s eyes on him, having his sole and undivided attention. His lips part but nothing comes out over than a soft exhale. Lando smiles for a second, but then his expression shifts to an ice-cold mask as he turns back to Logan. ‘Oscar disappointed you though, didn’t he? You expected him to take your side, but he didn’t. So what’s the plan B, Logan? Since plan A failed spectacularly.’

‘Get back to your house.’ Logan mutters, but his voice waivers and underneath the false bravado fear glistens brightly.

‘I don’t think I will, no.’ Lando takes one deliberate step forward and grins like a predator he is, when Logan flinches and takes a step back. ‘You know what I think I should do? Tear up your throat. Slice it right in the middle, leave you here bleeding. That’s a fitting thing for an animal to do, no? I don’t want to disappoint you.'

Logan visibly pales at that. His eyes widen for a fraction and then he looks at Oscar, pointing at Lando frantically. ‘You see? You fucking see? What I told you? He’s insane, they all are!’

Oscar’s blood turns into ice. The air between them is so thick with Lando’s pheromones that even Logan, who is so far from good connection with a wolf inside of him, gasps at the intensity. Anger radiates from Lando’s body in waves that fear to crash everything and Oscar with a horrifying clarity realizes that Lando can do that. He can tear Logan’s throat up, can slice it in the middle, can leave him bleeding. And he will.

‘Lando-‘, Oscar chokes out. He doesn’t know what he wants to say, but the name falls from his lips unconsciously. It’s hard to ignore the pheromones swirling in the air, the way they make him want to either run away or kneel, admitting defeat.

Alpha doesn’t even turn to him. ‘I’m a freak, aren’t I? An animal. Need to be locked up, huh?’ Lando takes one more step towards Logan. ‘I am petty enough to kill you just to prove your point.’

Logan is not a fighter, but Oscar can tell that he is ready to throw fists and he can’t let it happen. Because he knows – one move from Logan and he is done for, Lando won’t hold back. ‘Logan, leave,’ Oscar says loudly, surprising himself with the strength of his voice. ‘Just go, please. Stop that shit.’

Pure betrayal and disbelief that flash in Logan’s eyes slice Oscar’s heart in two. He wouldn’t have been Logan though if he weren’t stubborn. ‘Not without you. We’re leaving together.’

Oscar loves him, he does; but right now he shakes his head. He looks at his friend like he’s trying to make him understand, but Logan doesn’t see it or maybe he doesn’t want to see it. He just stares baffled at Oscar before scowling hard and throwing Oscar’s bag on the ground. ‘Fine. Stay, but don’t tell me then that I didn’t warn you.’

There’s not a sound around save for Logan’s retrieving footsteps. Oscar stares at the ground beneath his feet and wonders if it could swallow him whole. Maybe then everything will be easier? Slight movement on his right throws him out of these thoughts; he turns slightly, meeting Lando’s gaze dead on. No one’s eyes are as expressive as Lando’s, they pull Oscar in with a magnetic force that is too difficult to ignore, especially now, when Oscar’s nerves are fried and he feels like he’s on a brink of losing his goddamn mind.

‘Aren’t teachers supposed to be smart?’ Lando suddenly asks. His scent is still heavy around them, but the intensity slowly turns downwards. ‘Shouldn’t you leave with him? I’m a freak, after all. An animal. It’s dangerous to stay with me.’

Oscar doesn’t have the energy for this. ‘Don’t say that,’ he mutters, shaking your head. ‘You’re none of these things.’

Lando moves then, fully bodily turning towards Oscar. His scent spikes up briefly, salt getting more prominent. ‘Am I not? Isn’t this why you were avoiding me like a plague whole week?’

Fuck. The last thing Oscar wanted out of this day is to have this conversation. For a moment he wonders whether he should just leave. That would surely solve all of his problems, no? Not explain anything to Lando, continue to ignore him and then this ache, this deep pull he feels towards the alpha will gradually disappear for sure. And it sounds like a great plan, but only Oscar can’t bear letting Lando think that he sees him as a freak, an animal. Because it’s so far from the truth, because the truth is on the opposite spectrum, because in truth Oscar has seen no one as beautiful as Lando in his entire life. Isn’t that a horrible thought to have about an alpha you have no future with?

‘You’re none of these things.’ Oscar repeats and something in his tone must alert Lando of how tired he is, but anger evaporates from alpha’s scent almost instantly. ‘Logan doesn’t represent every single person in this village. He’s just-‘

Oscar sighs. There’s nothing he can do about his friend that can possibly make this situation better. He still can’t wrap a head around the fact that Logan planned it all out, that he really did want Lando to hear all of this. It sounds too far-fetched and yet. With another sigh he removes his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. God, he’s tired. So, so tired.

‘Not gonna say anything on the ignoring part?’ Lando asks, clearly annoyed. ‘Or you’re gonna ignore that question too?’

Oscar bites the inside of his cheek. Why? Why do you care? He takes a deep breath and blinks, looking at Lando without the glasses. The alpha stands close enough for him to see him clearly, to map out of line of his face like he wants to burn it forever in his memory. Oscar should leave. He should leave, he should go –

‘What does it matter to you?’ A question slips out without a warning from his lips. But once it’s out, he can’t stop: ‘It’s not like- it’s not like we’re friends or I don’t know- it’s not like we are connected anyhow-‘

‘Are we not? Connected?’ Lando interrupts.

Oscar’s mouth shuts. He gulps loudly, blinking at Lando. If he thought alpha was angry before and he should’ve been afraid then what he’s seeing right now paralyzes him in a totally different way. Lando is looking at him without gentleness, without hatred, but with something that makes Oscar shiver. The fact that Lando also acknowledges this… thing between them is enough to make Oscar want to run to the hills and never come back. It’s okay when he’s the only one aware, but when Lando is too? It’s dangerous. He takes one step towards him and his scent wraps around Oscar like a vice. Before when their scents reached out for each other, Oscar felt nothing but safety, sense of belonging, of rightness. Now though Lando’s scent doesn’t reach out for his one, it dominates. It pushes Oscar’s scent down, down, until the only air Oscar can breathe is Lando’s pheromones. It’s a heady sensation, the one that sends thrills down your spine; Oscar tries to fight it, but he doesn’t have emotional resources to even put up a block. He’s completely drained emotionally and Lando has no mercy.

‘What are you doing,’ Oscar whispers, standing still. He won’t take a step back, he’s not Logan. He can hold his own against Lando.

‘You do this a lot then?’ Lando asks in a low voice. His eyes are locked on Oscar. ‘Reach out to other people with your scent left and right?’

Oscar grits his teeth. It’s a stupid question, they both know how rare it is for scents to be compatible. He doesn’t answer because he doesn’t want to give Lando this satisfaction, he merely stares at him with an unreadable expression. He hoped that this would make alpha back down, but he was wrong. So, so wrong. Oscar’s refusal to answer or move only seems to ignite something with Lando even more. He smirks and takes one more step forward. His eyes roam Oscar’s face with akin to awe before he settles for the question that feels like a punch in the gut for Oscar: ‘Tell me, Oscar, do you let other alphas take care of your pups?’

The way this question was phrased. The insinuation behind it. The deliberate calling these pups his. Oscar hates him and hates how Lando knows that Oscar doesn’t, that Lando knows these pups are his, that Lando knows he wouldn’t have trusted anyone else with pups but him, that Lando knows what kind of effect his scent has on him. But most of all Oscar hates how he can’t change any of it, at all. ‘They are not my pups,’ he manages to say, because it’s true – these pups are not his.

Lando clocks his head to the right, watching Oscar with a gentleness that he doesn’t deserve. ‘They are.’

‘And I don’t reach out- I never even did it before you-‘ Oscar bites the tip of his tongue, feeling the way his face reddens. He clutches his glasses in his hand. He is strong. He is strong and he can say it. Deep breath and: ‘We are not connected anyhow.’

Lando doesn’t say anything at first. He only stares at Oscar like the beta might break in any second and then draws back his scent. The effect is immediate – Oscar takes a big breath, noticing how headiness in his head also disappears as Lando’s scent stops pouring onto him. He takes calming breaths, shaking a little from the effort of standing upright and holding his own. When he looks at Lando, he can’t understand why alpha is looking at him like he is.. pitying him? Afraid of him? Afraid for him? ‘If we’re not connected…’ Lando starts quietly. ‘Then why is your scent reaching out to me right now?’

It takes a few seconds for the words to register in his brain. When they do, shame curls in his stomach and runs through his veins like a hot lava because Lando is right. Oscar’s scent is timidly out after being bottled by Lando’s pheromones and… it’s reaching out to Lando. Unconsciously, hesitantly – its threads hover around Lando unsurely, waiting for alpha’s permission to interlace. Oscar bows his head in defeat, biting his lower lip. What can he say when the evidence is unbeatable? Lando, mercifully, doesn’t comment on it. Instead he murmurs: ‘I can’t let you in now, it will be too much for you. You’re already barely standing.’

Oscar is not sure whether he is more ashamed or humiliated by the fact that his scent stubbornly continues to reach for Lando even after those words. He can’t control it and he doesn’t even try to, there’s no point anymore. He keeps his mouth shut when Lando steps closer to him and he keeps his mouth shut when alpha reaches out and takes his glasses away from him. ‘You won’t need them soon,’ he whispers, and he sounds like himself again, not like the monster version he presented to Logan. ‘I can feel it, the awakening of the wolf inside of you. Your scent is getting stronger and stronger.’

Apparently, Oscar has no sense of preservation, because even when he knows how close Lando he is, he still opens his eyes and turns. Light brown eyes meet dark sea ones and it’s electric. He briefly wonders if it’s normal to feel this; surely not. It can’t be normal, because his heart flatters like butterfly wings when Lando stares at him like that, like nothing exists but Oscar. Like he is someone more than just an acquittance, a boring beta from the South pack, who wears glasses and smells like seaweed for most.

‘How- how can you feel it?’ Oscar asks in barely there whisper. It seems to be impossible – no one noticed any changes in his scent apart from his mother, not even Logan or Charles.

Lando smiles, but the smile is a sad one, like the answer pains him. ‘You know how,’ he whispers back. ‘And you know why. That’s why you’re running from me, aren’t you? Because you know why.’

Oscar fears he might break from the tension inside his body. Lando takes one look at him and chuckles sadly, shaking his head. He takes a step back. And then another one. ‘You’re running because you know what it means… and you don’t want it.’

Oscar flinches like he’s been slapped. His tongue is too heavy and refuses to move, can’t form words, nothing comes out of his mouth. He stands, shakes like a leaf on the wind and just watches as Lando’s hopeful expression crumbles and gives away to a hollowness. His heart is at his throat, when Lando gives him one final look and whispers: ‘Go back home, Osc.’

Oscar is rooted to the place, watching as Lando slowly goes back to his house. The air is suddenly clear and it means Lando put a block on his scent, cutting it off from Oscar, cutting himself from Oscar. From Oscar, who didn’t have the courage to say that he was running not because he didn’t want it. But because he’s scared.

He collects his things on autopilot and goes back home without lifting his head or sparing anyone a glance. The village is blissfully empty with everyone being at the shore and his mother is not at home, when he comes in. Oscar drops his bags on the floor and accidentally spills a whole bag of salt when he moves to the kitchen. Bad omens, his father used to say. Oscar goes to his room, falls on the bed and closes his eyes, trying to regain control of his breathing. Deep breath – one, two three – hold – one, two, three – exhale. Deep breath – one, two three – hold –

The very first tear shocks Oscar to the core. He feels it slip from the corner of his eyes, right down his temple and then disappear in his hair. The second one comes quickly after that. And the third one, too. Oscar cries and his body shakes with the force of it – last time he cried like that after he learned the news of the death of his father and sisters. He cries and cries and it feels like he’s mourning death of something that he never even had. Oscar falls asleep out of exhaustion with Lando’s scent lingering in his lungs and Lando’s quiet ‘Osc’ repeating in his ears.

Notes:

i changed this chapter like 3 times and i think i am pretty satisfied with this version, hope you are too!! let me know your thoughts: what do you think of logan? of what happened between our boys? i hope you're enjoying their dynamic so far!

p.s. next chapter will be from lando's pov and you can expect: a bit of a battle and a kiss ;)
as always, thank you so much for sticking with me, for leaving kudos for this work, for commenting and letting me know your thoughts. every comment makes my day! <3 - nini

Chapter 7: not alone

Heartbreak is an old friend of Lando’s. It stayed beside him from a young age since the fateful day his best friend Max. It stayed persistently, never leaving his heart even when it got full of all other emotions. It stayed stubbornly even when Lando thought his heart was too weak to carry it within anymore. It stayed quietly like a shadow, not bothering Lando on a constant basis but never letting him forget of its existence. Alpha carried the heartbreak in silence, not sharing it with anyone because joy doubles when shared, but heartbreak only triples the pain. Lando thought he experienced enough of it to not react anymore, thought his senses got numb to it, but seeing Oscar act like he doesn’t exist opened a whole new flood of pain in him. In hindsight, Lando should’ve known. He should’ve known that his heart will not stay intact since the moment he first scented brown eyed beta, since the very first time his wolf claimed Oscar as his own based solely on his scent. It should’ve stayed like that, just a perfect compatibility on chemical level. But with every conversation with Oscar, with every dialogue with Lewis or George about him, Lando’s heart kept inching towards the boy unknowingly. It all ended for him at that square, when Oscar stared at Lando with pleading eyes full of understanding, when he trusted Lando with his pups and looked at him like he could see through Lando, like he could tell that Lando would die first before letting anyone hurt pups. That look – the one that saw beyond Lando’s appearance, the one that scorched inside his soul and twisted it – did it all. Lando didn’t do love. He loved his family and his friends, loved everyone in the pack with an attachment bordering on unhealthy one, would kill for them without thinking twice. Loved omegas, betas, alphas, boys and girls – loved pliant bodies underneath him, loved playful teasing, loved deep thrusts and loud moans. But he didn’t do love. He didn’t do till death do us apart, didn’t do quiet ‘I love you’ whispered in secrecy, didn’t do ‘I’m yours’ confession. Lando belonged to himself only and maybe to Max as a tool for his schemes. Lando never let anyone come close enough to see the real him, because his darkness is his only. Lando didn’t do love. But then Oscar stood in front of him on that square with his scent going haywire from nerves and Lando couldn’t stop himself from reaching out in front of everyone. Couldn’t stop himself from soothing Oscar’s worries, basking him in his pheromones, couldn’t stop the joy sparkling in his heart at the way Oscar let him in, let him help, also in front of everyone. Lando should’ve known back then. Should’ve known not to let his heart hope, should’ve squashed all feelings for Oscar like he did before, because heartbreak never left, it always lurked in the corners waiting for the right moment to pounce. And Lando probably shouldn’t have been this surprised and shocked when Oscar started avoiding his gaze. It probably shouldn’t have hurt when Oscar started acting like Lando wasn’t there, like he didn’t exist. It probably shouldn’t have mattered that Oscar started putting block on his scent whenever they were near in the early morning, surrounded by the pups. It did, though. All gods and heavens above, it did.

‘He’s just like them,’ Lando mutters quietly to George as they grab their plates and sit for dinner.

‘He is not, Lando.’ George chastises him, shaking his head. ‘He wouldn’t even be talking to me if he was like them.’

Lando glances at the corner of the table, instantly locking gazes with a blond guy, shooting daggers at him. His name’s Logan as George told him, and he’s Oscar’s best friend. Same Logan who looks at Lando like he’s a dirt under his feet, who mutters ‘mutt’ or ‘freak’ when he passes him. Lando thinks he deserves a gold medal for not breaking his nose. George next to him shifts, noticing the tension. He quietly nudges Lando’s knee with his, a silent plea to keep calm and not react. ‘His best friend thinks we’re animals. I think it says a lot about him, huh?’ Lando stabs the rabbit meat with a fork violently.

‘He literally lets his pups join your lessons and is happy to see them transform and learn how to hunt,’ George argues. His faith in Oscar astonishes Lando the most. ‘He is not like them.’

The fact that it’s not just Logan who has certain opinions regarding the North pack did not go unnoticed; Max is aware that not so small group against them exists. Lando trusts his friend to handle the situation correctly in a political sense and follows the only command Max gave him – to not fight. So Lando doesn’t. He grits his teeth, looks down and tries to ignore the urge to knock Logan’s teeth out. Sometimes he wants to come up to him, shove him to the nearest tree and ask if he thinks the same about Oscar. Will he call Oscar all of these awful things? Because Oscar is turning. Lando feels it even through the blocks that stubborn beta always puts whenever he’s around him – the shift in Oscar’s scent is unmistakable. He’s changing, his wolf is awakening and what will Logan say to him then? Also call him a mutt and a freak? Unexpected surge of anger rushes through Lando’s blood, rings in his ears – he will kill him. He will snap Logan’s bones in two if he comes up to Oscar with those words in his mouth. He will –

‘Lando.’ Daniel squeezes his shoulder, bringing him back. ‘You’re stinking up this place. Calm down.’

George reaches out and starts rubbing soothing circles on his back, spreading his pheromones just a little to appease to alpha. Lando knows he hates doing it because it’s expected from him – George has lots of conflicting emotions with being an omega, but he tries to follow common rules to the notch. That’s why Lando cuts him off firmly, snapping a block, but smiling faintly to George: ‘No need, mate. But thanks.’

George smiles, nodding. Daniel snaps Lando’s attention then, asking what got him so angry. And isn’t it funny that Lando is angrier at just the prospect of Logan saying all these things to Oscar than he is at Logan telling it all to him? Lando shakes his head, sighing. It didn’t even fucking happen and he is already ready to go and… what? Defend Oscar’s honor? Show Oscar what a great alpha he is by beating up someone who hurts him? All of this for the same Oscar who is actively behaving like Lando is nothing? He has never been more pathetic, he thinks.

‘Did they something again?’ Daniel asks, keeping his voice low. He nods towards Logan and his company. ‘I can accidentally spill soup all over their heads.’

George snorts next to him and Lando shakes his head. ‘All good.’

Daniel quirks an eyebrow. ‘You sure?’

Lando nods and then to change the subject he asks: ‘Where’s Max?’

Daniel chuckles and leans in, whispering: ‘With that pretty omega in the storage, allocating supplies for our pack. But, you know. Maybe he’ll get a taste of the South pack omegas tonight and tell us how it is.’

George shakes his head at this and Lando rolls his eyes. He can’t care less of what Max’s doing in his personal life, but he does feel a bit sad for the omega – Charles, was it? – because it’ll only end in a heartbreak. Max will never choose someone who’s not connected to his wolf, Max will never choose someone who is not an omega, who won’t hold his status as alpha on a higher pedestal. Charles, from the looks of it, is just a pretty boy with zero understanding of North side traditions, complete obliviousness when it comes to statuses and sparkling awe for Max, because he probably never met anyone like him in his life. Lando can relate to the last bit, honestly. Lando watched people gravitate towards Max since his childhood; everyone flew to him like months to the flame. Max is a textbook alpha, the one with power that can command the room without having to raise a voice, with confidence that is earned from won battles and polished skills, with strength that comes from holding oneself up against all of the hardships. Lando used to look up at him, used to clench his fist and fight with desire to be like Max when he was little. Used to think that being an alpha meant being like Max. He knows better now.

‘I hope they won’t fuck this up,’ Daniel mutters. ‘We’re used to cold temperatures, but they better give us everything they give to their own pack.’

‘They need us,’ Lando grits. ‘More than we need them.’

‘We need them too,’ George says calmly, not starting an argument. ‘It’s a mutually beneficial merger.’

‘Tell this to those fuckers,’ Lando pointedly looks to where Logan is sitting. ‘Not me.’

Lando takes a deep breath. Max will never accept a partner who is not connected to his wolf, but can Lando? Max will never accept a partner who is unaware of statuses and treats everyone equally, but can Lando? He can’t help, his mind draws parallels on its own. Oscar is not connected to his wolf: he doesn’t transform, wears glasses and has no control over his scent. But he is changing and you know it, you feel it, his mind whispers. Oscar has no qualms over anyone’s status and won’t treat someone differently based on their designation. But Alex told you how he bared his neck to him a little. It’s like – Oscar’s body knows what to do, but Oscar is fighting it. Why? He is ignoring Lando even though he can’t not know what compatibility between their scents means. He can’t possibly be that dumb to treat it as an everyday occurrence. The scents can be compatible, sure. But not like this, not in the way theirs are. He can’t not think that they are not connected, that Lando isn’t his –

‘Lando? You alright?’ George asks, shaking his shoulder. ‘Your scent-‘

‘I need to go.’ Lando stands up, drawing few gazes upon himself.

‘Lando-‘

Lando runs. His feet take him to the shore on their own, to the place where the sea whispers to him delicately, calling him in like he’s part of it. Lando runs and his mind is playing tricks on him, because he can feel Oscar, feel his scent around, that a bit sweet sea thrift with freshness of grass. It’s cold and windy, but Lando stops right where the waves kiss his boots playfully, inviting him to get in. He breathes heavily, lets his lungs get full of sea salt, of coldness, of tangy seaweed smell. Part of Lando wants to scream. Another part wants to laugh from ridiculousness of this all. The truth is both freeing and chaining, it’s a blessing and a curse. Because the truth is crystal clear, Lando knew it deep inside from the moment his scent first reached that brown-eyed boy. From the moment Oscar responded and let them both feel this electric pull when their scents tangled. The truth is short, laid out in the open for Lando to take if he’s brave enough to do so. And Lando has never been a coward. He takes, looks at it straight in the eye. The truth is, he is Oscar’s. Mate. Alpha. Just his. Oscar’s. This kind of revelation should bring joy, but this one hurts like someone twisted the knife in his heart. Because Oscar doesn’t want him. Oscar knows what it means, knows why their scents are compatible, he knows – and his answer to it is to ignore Lando. It’s the most blatant rejection Lando has ever experienced and the sheer weight of it makes it hard to breathe. He knows. He knows you are his. And he doesn’t want you. Not as his mate, not as his alpha. He does not.want.you. Lando screams. The shout comes from deep within and echoes on the empty shore. He stands there, shaking a little, staring at the blue of the sea, thinking that if heartbreak were a person, it’d look exactly like Oscar.

=+=

The glasses are a delicate thing, thin, black. Lando holds them between his things carefully, laying on his bed. It was an impulsive thing to take them from Oscar and not give them back – he didn’t think it through, but the urge to having something that belongs to the beta was stronger at that time. God, everything was stronger at that time. Lando’s pulse quickens just thinking about yesterday. The choking anger he felt for Logan once he realized what this stupid omega is doing, how he planned everything for it all to happen in front of Lando – all of it made alpha see red. He thought this anger would be directed at Oscar as well, thought it would also be sharp and biting, thought it would hurt Oscar just like his ignorance hurt him. But he couldn’t, of course. He tried so hard to hold on to that anger, hoping it’d make it easier for him to face the beta, but no; it was over the second he saw Oscar’s frozen form. He looked tired even from afar and disbelief written clearly on his face after he learned Logan’s plan made Lando bite inside of his cheek to keep harsh words from coming out. He couldn’t, in the end. Couldn’t be angry at Oscar even if he was, couldn’t be mean and hurtful towards him because one look at those light brown orbs had him spiraling and not out of anger. And how could he stay angry when Oscar didn’t agree with a single thing Logan said? When he sounded angry on Lando’s behalf? When he was ready to fight his best friend? Lando couldn’t stay angry. But he could keep his tone cold, he tried to sound as detached as possible while speaking to Oscar. Yes, maybe he didn’t deserve his anger, but he didn’t deserve Lando’s kindness too. So Lando focused on Logan. On the awful, sinking feeling of fury coloring his mind. He could see it so clearly: how his hand would reach out and snap Logan’s hand in two, how his fist would collide with his face and break it. Lando can bear someone talking shit about himself, but not about his pack. He probably would’ve done unspeakable things to Logan if he didn’t leave, if Oscar didn’t make him leave. Oscar, who stayed. Who told Lando that he’s none of those things Logan called him and meant it. Oscar, who looked so tired that he was barely standing. Lando’s anger evaporated quickly after that, because no matter how deep Oscar hurt him, he can’t do the same to Oscar, can’t hurt him back. Even when Oscar continued to twist a knife in his heart with ‘we are not connected’ sentence. Even now just thinking of those words leaving his mouth makes Lando want to curl into himself. How could he say that? How could he look Lando in the eyes and lie? How could he say that when his scent was calling for Lando, hesitantly reaching out towards him without Oscar even noticing?

‘Stupid boy,’ Lando mutters and hates himself for sounding so fond.

He probably shouldn’t have done what he did then. Enforcing his scent is mostly used on territorial disputes for the enemy to back down, but Oscar made Lando behave in ways that he can’t explain. He poured his scent towards beta to… Lando still doesn’t fully understand for what. To establish his dominance, maybe. To prove to Oscar that his scent is the one he needs, to show him how his own scent reaches out for him. Lando doesn’t know why, but this unashamed lie from beta’s mouth made him angry. Made him think of other people and his vision reddened. Are there other people? Is this why Oscar rejected him? Because there is another person whose scent makes him go crazy? Theirs is another person he trusts with his pups? There’s someone else to whom his scent reaches out? There’s not a trace of someone else’s claim on Oscar or his scent, but still. What if in this South pack of his they don’t even fucking claim their loved ones? Maybe they also think only animals do that? Lando hates not knowing, but he hates it even more when Oscar looks three seconds away from breaking because of him. He had a horrible urge to come up and shake him by his shoulders to put some sense back in him. To tell him that anyone with eyes sees that he cares for these pups like they are his own. To tell him that his scent is made for Lando, that he is made for Lando, that Gods brought Lando here because of him, because even in George’s visions they are together and that surely must mean something. To tell him that even if he keeps on repeating that they are not connected, it doesn’t change a thing. Lando traces the rim of the glasses, inhaling Oscar’s scent deeply. God, he remembers it so well. The sweet notes in it reaching out to him, so shy and hesitant, afraid of rejection. The heavier notes in it swirling around him, searching for a way to get in. Lando wanted to ease his block, wanted to welcome his scent with open arms, but he couldn’t. Oscar was already barely standing and if he would’ve let him then-

Lando inhales sharply. Oscar would’ve gotten scent drunk. He would’ve fallen straight in Lando’s arms, nuzzling into him, gone to the entire world. Delirious with want to stay close to alpha and just the thought of it makes something in Lando’s stomach twist. Oscar is not a weak and whimsy omega, he’s a level-headed beta with the stubbornness of a mule, but he would’ve fallen. And he would’ve hated Lando for it. That’s why Lando strengthened his block, that’s why he forced himself to get back to his house and leave Oscar alone even though everything inside him screamed to take care of him. And Lando would have. He would have been so good at it, too. He would have been gentle with Oscar, slowly bringing him back to the normal state with letting him sleep, helping him bath, making sure he eats well. But Oscar didn’t want that, still doesn’t want it. The silence that rang between them after Lando’s ‘you’re running because you know what it means… and you don’t want it’ was very loud, but the sound of Lando’s heartbreak was louder. He didn’t deny it. His wolf accepted Lando, but he didn’t. And Lando is not the smartest guy, but he knows when he needs to protect himself, his heart – and he desperately needs to do it, needs to protect his heart from Oscar. That’s why Lando left. He was leaning on the other side of the door the whole time till the sound of Oscar’s footsteps didn’t fade. He waited for a few more minutes and then carefully put his glasses on the table and ran, transforming in the middle of the jump. He needed to get away.

=+=

It's been raining non-stop for three days. The ships are still parked on the shore with their owners not being able to leave due to the horrible weather. Lando doesn’t know what frustrates him more: the constant drumming of raindrops against his windows or whooshing of the wind that rattles his door. His parents are staying with him tonight and usually these evenings are very peaceful, but even their warm company can’t shake off the weird feeling growing in his chest. Something is wrong. He doesn’t know what or how, but he knows that the more he sits inside, the worse it is for everyone. He didn’t even notice how jittery he was until his father didn’t gently squeeze his knee, stopping it from bouncing up and down. ‘Lando,’ his voice is soothing, but the reprimand is still clear in it. ‘Did you even listen to us?’

Lando shakes his head. ‘No, sorry. Sorry I can’t concentrate; I hate just sitting here.’

His mother coos in understanding. ‘Oh, my love, but where would you go? What would you do? Max called off all the patrols.’

‘Yeah, like an idiot.’

Lando mutters under his breath. That’s the main problem, actually. Max calling off patrols was not taken lightly by Lando, they had a fight for the first time in a very, very long time. Patrols are essential and three days without them has Lando itching with anxiety – what if someone breached the borders? He stares at his parents and thinks that he won’t forgive himself if something happens to them because he missed his patrol duty.

‘Eat, please.’ His mother pushes delicious looking stew his way. ‘You are so thin, my love.’

‘Do you sleep well?’ His father asks, reaching out to grasp the back of his neck. ‘You should rest more.’

Their concern usually melts Lando like butter. He knows how lucky he is to still have both of them alive and well, still together, still caring for him like he’s a newborn pup. He relishes their love and acceptance, but tonight he is buzzing out of his skin with stress. Still, he tries. Tries to be good son and eat a whole plate of stew. Lets his father massage his shoulders and lecture him on the correct sleeping positions. Listens to his mother’s talks about how lovely Franco is and how nice Luisa is. He does it all with storm brewing inside, his wolf howling with a need to get out.

‘Lando, are you listening?’

He blinks and refocuses back to the present. ‘Yes, mom. I just don’t know how many times I should say that I am not interested in Franco or Luisa. Or anyone.’

‘What about that boy? George keeps on mentioning him. Oscar, I think?’

Lando tries to keep a scowl out of his face. It’s irrational to be mad at his mother, when all her intentions are pure. She doesn’t want him to be alone, and he gets it, understands her attempts at pushing Franco and Luisa towards him, but he can’t reciprocate. He likes them both enough to know that they deserve someone much better than him, someone whose heart is not a broken thing that cannot be mended. ‘I am not interested in a relationship right now, mom.’ Lando says, carefully avoiding Oscar’s name. ‘I can’t afford any distractions now.’

‘Healthy relationships won’t ever be a distraction,’ his father pipes in. ‘They’ll only make you stronger.’

For a second Lando lets himself imagine it. Him waking up with Oscar in his arms. Peppering his mole doted face with kisses. Nuzzling into his scent gland, nipping at it playfully, making Oscar laugh. He hasn’t heard it yet but he’s sure it’s a beautiful sound. Listening to Oscar talk about his lessons. Waiting for him from these lessons, spending time with him and all the pups. Coming back home to Oscar, to his soft smile, his open arms, his perfect scent. Lando is a realist, he knows he’s far from being the perfect alpha, but he thinks he can try, for Oscar. It’s just Oscar doesn’t need it.

‘You deserve the best love that’s out there,’ his mother stares at him with so much affection that Lando’s heart swells. ‘Someone who will understand how much you give to this pack and then who will make you see that you need to give just as much to yourself.’

Lando refuses to think about Oscar anymore. That boy made his choice, and he has to live with it. His mother looks so hopeful that Lando feels bad; maybe he should consider her words about Franco or Luisa? Maybe it won’t be bad. ‘Really want to marry me off, huh?’ He goes for a joke, but she stays serious.

‘Don’t want you to be alone, my love. You carry so much, I want you to share that burden with someone.’

Lando sighs and nods. ‘I’ll talk to Franco.’

His mother lights up like a Christmas tree. She claps twice, smiling widely. ‘That’s amazing! Oh, you do that, my boy.’

They don’t stay after that and Lando is silently thankful for it. He waits for one more hour or so and then starts getting ready. The rain is still pouring, but the wind is not as aggressive as before, but Lando still puts on his coat. In the North the sky darkens much earlier than here, so he feels very comfortable stepping out in a pitch blackness. It’s around ten pm, no one should be out. Lando moves to the forest with no fear and breathes deeply, his anxiety instantly quiets once he’s out in the nature. He walks, first. Goes deeper into the forest and slowly relaxes, restlessness slipping away. Somewhere not far the sound of waves crashing into the stones lulls to a false sense of security. Lando thinks of the God Tano a lot these days. He doesn’t ask him to stop the war or somehow hurt the Outlanders. Lando asks him to use him. To put him in the right place at the right time. To give him a sign right before something bad is about to happen, so Lando can quickly insert himself in front of a danger and hold it back. He knows the God listens. Even right now as he walks further and the forest grows denser, he feels it. The slight change in the wind, the way it seems to wrap around Lando instead of blowing right into him. The way small shed of light shines in the pitch darkness, directing Lando and showing him the way. Lando doesn’t fight it; he walks straight there, knowing that he’s not alone. He instinctively knows that it’s time to change once he comes to the edge of the border – his bones thrum with desire to snap. Carefully folding his clothes, Lando sighs in relief once he feels familiar tingling down his spine. He transforms in a blink of an eye, every single sense of his sharpening once he’s in a wolf form. It’s the purest form of freedom, the highest level of connection with his inner alpha when they become one. And after that it’s all about instincts. Lando knows that something is wrong and when he does smell a faint unfamiliar trace of another wolf in the air, he latches on it with no preamble. He knew. He fucking knew that staying back from patrols for three days straight will bring to this – someone breaching their borders. Lando’s focus heightens with only one single aim – to find. To kill. Moving through the forest like a shadow, Lando follows the faint trace. And God Tano is with him – Lando can feel it in every stroke of the wind showing him the correct way, in the way whole forest in on Lando’s side, singing to him about the intruder, wanting Lando to get rid of him. Show me where he is and I will, Lando promises back, pushing himself to run faster. The trail leads him to the sea but from the other side, from the side of rocks and cliffs, high and dangerous. Lando doesn’t really go here and it unnerves him a bit, because he doesn’t fully know this place, which puts him at a disadvantage. The rain is not helping either; Lando’s paws slide on the smooth surface of the rocks and it’s hard to hold on. Show me, Lando asks, breathing heavily. It’s a very slight change, but Lando feels it nonetheless how the wind starts blowing stronger on his left side. It’s all he needs – Lando moves to that side and stills, when the scent sharpens. Mud and blood, something heavy, something very alpha. Lando stands frozen, knowing that if he caught him then he was caught as well, that whoever is hiding behind that rock is very aware of Lando’s presence. And it can go many ways, but Lando chooses the most direct one – he growls, lowly. Announces his presence, his displeasure and waits. When a grey wolf appears from the side, Lando stiffens. It’s obvious that this wolf is rogue, he’s alone with his fur coated in dirt and blood. He’s big, bigger than Max, bigger than any wolf Lando has met and he’s injured if slight limping on the left side he’s trying to hide is anything to go by. Every single muscle in Lando’s body locks, tightens as he watches another alpha carefully. He’s so much bigger and older than him and despite his injury he looks strong, but he’s probably malnourished and Lando is quicker, lighter on the feet, stronger. Steel grey eyes scrutinize Lando with a calculating look before the rogue wolf moves, coming closer. This is not the first fight, but it’s the first one when Lando is completely alone and –

the wind gently swooshes, caressing Lando’s fur like a whisper, like a reminder of the truth he forgot for a moment. The rain seems to slow down too, turning into a light drizzle, working in his favor. Lando breathes out. Not alone, the voice inside his head reminds him, sure and calm. The voice that Lando hasn’t heard in a long time, the voice that never fails to bring him strength. Lando leans, preparing for the jump. He asked to be useful. He asked to be put in the right place at the right time. That’s his chance. When Lando launches, he doesn’t expect the wolf to stay at place. He expected him to maneuver, to shield, but no, he meets Lando’s attack directly. And the fierceness of his response knocks the breath out of Lando’s lungs. Fighting is not new, but fighting against someone this much bigger is; Lando adapts quickly though. He knows he won’t win in jaw sparring, so instead he twists and turns. His paws kiss the earth with lightness as he moves from side to side, lunging forward in one second and stepping back in another one, knowing the other wolf won’t match his speed with his injury. He’s big, but he’d seen the better days, Lando can count his ribs from where he’s standing. Lando strikes from the low lunge, snapping his jaws right next to rogue wolf’s ears, pinning him to the rock. He receives bared teeth in response, a heavy paw scratching at his tail. Lando lets his instincts take full control then – alpha within him growls in approval. He doesn’t think, just fights with all his might, with one sole purpose to get rid of the enemy. When sharp canines sink to his left side right where previous gnashes were Lando howls, retaliating by tearing the wolf’s ear. And once he locked his jaw in, he didn’t let go. Paws scratched at his sides and the deeper enemy’s canines sank into his side, the fiercer Lando growled, moving his jaw from his ear to the neck. Sinking his claws into the grey fur, Lando held on even when he got bodily slammed into the rock in efforts to shake him off. The bitter taste of blood fills up his mouth as he finally breaks into the meat, growling lowly in the throat when rogue wolf howls in pain. He finally lets go of Lando’s left side and the relief is fleeting, because he then proceeds to slam Lando’s body repeatedly into the wall. It hurts. Hurts so bad that Lando’s vision swims and gets hazy at the corners. His spine rattles with each slam, but his canines and claws dig deeper until Lando doesn’t get to the point of snapping the bones in two. It’s a sickening feeling when your teeth break through it, but Lando learned to ignore it, learned to push through, learned to close his eyes and snap his jaw harder. When his mouth fills with blood he keeps on going as it’s the only thing he knows, the only thing on his mind. He can’t think of anything else, because then he will starts noticing all the ache in his spine, the burning heat on his left side, the blooming headache. So Lando doesn’t. Lando clicks his canines for the final time and holds on while the rogue wolf falls limp. Give him to me, the voice in his head rings, loud and demanding. Lando can’t disobey – despite the crushing pain that wears him down, he drags the body closer to the cliff, barely standing himself. His left side burns like he’s in the flames and Lando’s legs give out before he manages to get to the edge. Give him to me, the voice rings again even louder this time. Lando huffs. His jaw doesn’t work; he can’t unclench it and ends up drinking the blood without meaning to. With a horrid strain on his spine Lando pushes as hard as he can until body of the rogue wolf doesn’t reach the edge. Breathe in. Breathe out. Lando fears he won’t manage to stand up with how badly his spine hurts, but he manages to unclench his jaw. With one final effort he pushes the body over the edge, not breathing until he doesn’t hear the telling splash of the water. The sea envelops his gift with a hushed murmur of approval and Lando breathes out, when the wind strokes him gently, almost lovingly as if to say 'good job' and thank him. With the other wolf out of the way he collapses on the ground with a painting breath. His mind is finally clear enough to focus on something else, and he instantly howls because of the crushing weight on his spine registers fully – the pain is so striking that Lando’s consciousness hovers on the edge between staying here and blacking out. His left side burns as if someone’s holding up a lighted torch right on it; Lando feels blood rushing out of him, feels how energy drains out of him. His heart is beating unsteadily and darkness colors the edges of his vision, slowly covering more and more of it. Lando can’t move – he just lays there, heavily painting. With every breath he takes his ribs thrum with pain like they don’t want it, with every breath he takes more blood flows out. It’s almost warm. The vision goes black almost fully and with a last breath Lando closes his eyes, hearing not alone in his head right before he blacks out.

=+=

Everything hurts. Lando tries to move but his body doesn’t cooperate. He can’t open his mouth, can’t open his eyes. He feels so heavy, like a horrible weight is pushing on his chest, his whole body. His left side stings, his paws are pulsing with ache, his spine is a landmine of bruises. Someone keeps on whispering to him something in lines of him needing to stay in the wolf form, the voice sounds like it belongs to his mother. Lando blacks out.

=+=

It’s not quiet.

‘Staying in the wolf form speeds up the healing process-‘

‘I will bring everything my mom has for infections.’

‘He needs to shift back. I know it’s only been a day, but we need him in human form to help with the tearing on his side.’

‘Lando,’ a small voice calls out, cautious and fearful.

‘He can’t hear you, Kai. No, Alex, I said that we need-‘

‘Lando,’ a small voice tries again, this time much closer to Lando’s ear, talking in a hushed whisper: ‘I’m scared, Lando. Come back? Please?’

Lando feels hand caressing his, a small one, too small for an adult. It’s a pup. Lando is out before he can even try to move his fingers to soothe the worry.

=+=

It’s cold and his spine feels like someone stepped and jumped on it for an hour straight. Lando winces and feels someone carefully lift him by the head and then someone is opening his mouth, and some tangy liquid is being forced down his throat. Lando swallows on reflex.

‘Good job, very good, Lando.’

Lando registers familiar notes of the sea thrift flower before he drifts back to the blackness.

=+=

Lando’s head feels like cotton, when he finally manages to find the strength to open his eyes. The first thing he becomes aware of is how he’s not in his wolf form. The second thing he registers is a numbing feeling on his spine like it’s there but not really. Then he realizes that his torso is bandaged when he tries to take a deep breath only to feel slight restraints. His throat is as dry as a desert, that’s what he understands next. Before he can voice it out though someone kneels beside his bed.

‘Easy,’ George whispers, cradling his head like a jewel. ‘Small sips, Lando, don’t drink a lot.’ George holds Lando’s head and watches him carefully as he takes small sips. ‘That’s it, good job. Next thing is not going to be pleasant, but you gotta take it too. Alex-‘

Before he finishes the sentence Alex appears next to him, holding a bowl of something that smells sickeningly awful even in Lando’s half-awake state. ‘There you go.’ Alex hands George the bowl and leans in, worriedly glancing at Lando. ‘You think he’s fine with taking it? He looks out of it all. Should we call someone?’

‘I can-‘ Lando croaks out and swallows before trying again. ‘I can hear you, idiot.’

Alex freezes for a moment and then the widest smile breaks out on his face. In the next second he cradles Lando’s face in his large palms, staring up at his friend with tear-brimmed eyes. He pushes their foreheads together and leaves a small kiss on Lando’s temple, whispering: ‘Welcome back, champ.’

Lando doesn’t answer, mostly because his tongue refuses to cooperate. But he leans on Alex’s forehead as much as he can to communicate that he’s here, that he loves Alex too. When the taller alpha finally lets go, George carefully lowers Lando’s head back on the pillow, looking at him like he might disappear in this second. ‘Call Laura and Jon for now, don’t tell others yet. I think they should examine him and if they give green light, we can tell all others to come.’

Alex nods, leans to kiss George’s head. ‘Sure, love.’ Alex turns to Lando, grinning. ‘You gave us quite a scare there. Don’t move until I bring healers here.’

Lando rolls his eyes and in silence lets George feed him whatever the hell he has in a bowl. George doesn’t speak and feeds Lando every spoon with the concentration that Lando would’ve made fun of in any other situation, but he keeps his mouth shut now. George’s worry and anxiety are palpable; they fill the air and space between them to the point of Lando becoming more alert solely because of it. When George feeds him the last spoon Lando masters all of his energy to lift his hand and grab George’s wrist in his. This gesture startles omega and his mouth falls open in shock: ‘Wha- Lando, oh my god, do not move-‘

‘I am here,’ Lando lets out, sounding groggy even to his own ears. When George blinks in stupor, he repeats more forcefully this time: ‘I am here.’

I am alive, his eyes whisper. You did not lose me. I am here, in bones and flesh, and I am alive. Not fine, but alive. Lando is not strong enough to initiate any physical connection, but he holds George’s wrist in his and his thumb caresses his skin softly, slowly. Omega in front of him shifts, biting his lower lip hard enough to make it bleed. He takes a shaky breath in, putting bowl on the floor and taking Lando’s hand in his, bringing it to his mouth. ‘Three days,’ he whispers into Lando’s knuckles. ‘You were out for three days. I haven’t told you before that I got this vision of you when you-‘

George pauses, trembling. Lando instantly understands and grows even more alert, fighting against the fog in his brain to be there for his friend. He can already tell that he’ll tire out pretty soon, but he’ll be damned if he lets George stay this anxious. ‘I am here, Georgie,’ he reminds him again, softer this time.

‘I thought we lost you,’ George mutters, looking up at Lando with eyes filled with tears. ‘When we found you looked- god, Max stormed the houses of all healers himself, demanding them to come and tend to you. We all thought-‘ George shakes his head. ‘It was hard to bring you back. Your previous injury was on the left side as well and it’s still healing, it’s very… Jon told us to be extremely careful. You can’t shift to the wolf form anytime soon.’

Lando is not surprised to hear it. He can feel how weak his left side feels, certainly feels the ache in it like any wrong move might ruin everything. His spine feels off though, just… numb. George explains that he healed the worst in his wolf form and that they’re treating him with special ointments and potions to keep the pain at bay. His friend glances to the door, pursing his lips. ‘I think they are still sleeping.’

‘Who?’ Lando asks, letting go of his hand. He already feels the tiredness settle all over him.

‘Oscar and Kai,’ George replies quietly. He turns back to Lando with a serious expression, chewing on his bottom lip like he’s not sure whether he should say it or not. ‘It was Kai who found you, Lando.’

‘What?’ It’s incredibly hard to stay present, but Lando fights for it with his all might. ‘But how-‘

‘That little troublemaker,’ George rolls his eyes, but his expression is fond. ‘The second the rain stopped he decided that it’s time to go out, couldn’t bear staying inside any longer. He’s very much like you, you know? He sneaks out, grabs Oliver with him from god knows where and they end up on the shore. They were playing his and seek when Kai found you. He stayed with you and asked Oliver to tell someone, and poor pup got so scared and confused, instead of running to our pack, he ran to Oscar and told him everything. Oscar then came to me and-‘ George pauses, sighing. It’s like he’s reliving this memory in the most unpleasant way. ‘Alex went with Oscar, I ran to Max and then to the healers. Jon was available, he started treating you once Daniel and Max carried you back here.’

Lando swallows. There are too many emotions rising in his chest, and he coughs in hopes to just spurt them out. He doesn’t want to feel any of it, doesn’t want to even get a single thought about Oscar into his mind. He can’t, because if he does then he won’t stop, and his heart won’t be able to take yet another heartbreak so soon. Instead he focuses on other things: ‘My parents?’

‘Were here yesterday, will probably come later in today closer to the dinner. They are fine, shaken, but fine.’ And because George knows him very well, he adds information about others: ‘Max is fine too. Angry beyond any belief, but fine. He comes every night after his patrol shift… yeah, I know, it was a shock for everyone for Max to start patrolling himself but after we all saw.. well, the head of the wolf that you conveniently left beside you, he decided to check the borders himself. He is okay, I think. Daniel is also fine, comes by every morning with Jon, Luisa and Laura.’ George leans in, lightly pulling at Lando’s curls. ‘You made us all go through a crisis here.’

Lando didn’t mean to. He swallows, closing his eyes. He knows he’s not alone, but the confirmation of it never fails to make him emotional. He asks George for water and after he takes a few small sips, he asks: ‘You stayed here all the time?’

His friend nods. ‘Of course I did. And Kai too, he refused to leave your side, we’re barely convincing him to sleep in another room and not in your bed with you.’

Lando’s heart squeezes in his chest. Kai, his beloved pup, the one who looks at Lando not like on the fastest wolf in their pack, but like he’s his blood. The one who always stays close to him, seeks for his attention and approval, the one who decided himself that Lando is his family now since he doesn’t have his real one anymore. Just the thought of Kai meeting this rogue wolf before Lando sends a chill down his whole body. Lando is okay with being this bruised and hurt if it means Kai is out of the danger, if it means everyone is out of the danger.

‘Oscar stayed too,’ George adds in a soft voice. He sounds a bit unsure like he doesn’t know whether Lando needs this information or not, like he’s walking on a thread. ‘He comes every single evening with herbs from his mother and prepares potion for you. Stays the night with Kai and goes away in the morning. You had a fever the whole night yesterday, me and him took turns around you, he’s sleeping now with Kai in the living room.’

Sunlight peeks through the curtains. Lando doesn’t know what time it is, but looking at George’s sullen and sleep deprived face he guesses it’s early morning. He doesn’t remember anything from yesterday, but he does remember sensing Oscar’s scent. All of it is… Lando closes his eyes, leaning back fully on the pillow. Yeah, maybe he didn’t need this information, actually.

‘Lando,’ George starts and Lando stubbornly keeps his eyes closed, knowing that whatever comes next is not going to be something that he’ll like to hear. ‘I don’t know what happened between you two, but-‘

‘George, don’t.’ Lando whispers, forcing his tongue to move.

‘You don’t come every single evening to spend two hours on a potion for someone you don’t care about,’ George still says, because he doesn’t care about the wellbeing of Lando’s heart. ‘You don’t know- Lando, the way he looked those days… He worked on these potions like if he didn’t make them, he’d die. He didn’t talk, didn’t eat or sleep properly. He only talked to Kai, but that pup just glued himself to Oscar. They both-‘

‘Stop,’ Lando opens his eyes, glaring at his friend. ‘I don’t want to hear it-‘

‘Seeing you like this shook us to the core, Lando.’ George interrupts firmly, locking eyes with alpha. ‘But Kai and Oscar? Seeing you like this broke them, Lando.’

Lando inhales shakily, feeling his whole-body tremble with an effort to keep his emotions at bay. He doesn’t want to hear this, doesn’t want to let himself feel, doesn’t want to let himself hope – because that’s what’s it all about in the end. In letting his hopes up, in believing into the twisted narrative that it not true only to then find out that he’s been wrong the whole time. His vision swims a little and he closes his eyes, gritting his teeth. Oscar has other agenda behind it, most likely. It doesn't mean a thing. Lando lets George move him so he can apply ointment on his back, and he falls asleep in a few seconds before the healers arrive.

=+=

Next time Lando wakes up he feels both better and worse. Better because his body cooperates and lifting a hand doesn’t seem like a huge movement anymore and worse because he’s way more aware of the pain now. His spine still feels mostly numb, but his left side burns like a scorching fire, itches with a horrible ache that has him barely suppressing pained groans. He wakes a bit disoriented, realizing that it’s the same day just closer to the night. The room smells like a mix of the scents of all loved ones: his parents, George, Alex, Max and a little bit of Daniel. Lando can make out faint whiffs of Jon and Luisa along with other unfamiliar scents, but the one that stands out is the scent of a fresh apple that belongs to Kai. Lando exhales and gingerly sits up on the bed, trying to get at least his upper body in a more vertical position. It causes the ache in his left side flares up and a small, pained groan escapes his mouth as he succeeds in pushing himself to sit. There’s a slight commotion from the kitchen and then the door opens to reveal disheveled looking Oscar, holding a bowl in his one hand and towel in another. He freezes in the entrance, staring at Lando with wide eyes and open mouth. He heard the noise, Lando realizes, staring back at a panting Oscar, and thought that something had happened to me. There’s a second in which both of them don’t move, but then Oscar breaks off the trance from seeing Lando awake and steps forward, carefully putting bowl with water and towel on top of the chair next to the bed.

‘You okay? Something hurts?’ Oscar asks in an urgent whisper and then, understanding that the last question is rather a stupid one, considering how Lando is covered in bandages and ointments, he rephrases: ‘Should I call one of the healers? I can get Laura or Jon.’

Lando is momentarily thrown off by everything that is Oscar. By his scent, that is out in the open with no blocks this time and is full of worry and stress, by the sincere care in his light brown eyes, by him even being in Lando’s house altogether. He gulps, trying to form the words and beta instantly jumps to hand him glass of water. Oscar hesitates, unsure of whether he can come up closer, but Lando simply raises a hand and Oscar visibly deflates, handing him the glass and averting his eyes the second Lando starts drinking. It’s quiet for some moments as Lando downs the glass, feeling much better immediately. Oscar hovers at the edge of his bed with his hand clasped in front of him, staring at his shoes. He doesn’t meet Lando’s gaze, but he doesn’t have to; his scent says everything for him. Lando is too weak to put a block, too weak to even control his scent, but he can feel the way Oscar’s one feels trapped here. It wants to reach out to him, but doesn’t dare to do so, opting to hover around in an anxious staccato; the sweet notes are gone from it, only leaving bitterness of grass. Lando can’t think of anything else to say other than: ‘What are you doing here?’

It comes out sharply than he intended and Oscar flinches, looking up at him briefly to check whether Lando is mad or not. In all honesty, Lando doesn’t know. He’s tired of Oscar and his confusing emotions. ‘You had a fever last night, I thought it may happen again and prepared cold water with a towel when I heard your groan and-‘

‘I meant in this house,’ Lando cuts him off. He fears his heart will start melting if he hears the end of Oscar’s explanation and he can’t afford that. He has to stay cold or else Oscar will play with his heart again, giving him false hope. ‘What are you doing here?’

Oscar stills. His scent fades for a second before bursting with anxiety, making Lando cringe with how bitter it smells. His own scent is barely there, weakened just like his body; it still twitches in attempt to soothe Oscar though. Pathetic, Lando thinks about himself. After all I’m still trying to –

‘I’ll bring more water,’ Oscar speaks, completely ignoring Lando’s question. He doesn’t look at him either, choosing to obsess over his shoes instead. ‘If you’re feeling like you’re up to eat, there’s-‘

‘I asked you a question, Oscar.’

Lando is so, so tired. Of Oscar and his unexplainable behavior. Of his own heart’s desire to soothe him, pull him into his arms and make him forget about all of his worries. Of the ache in his body, of how weak he feels. Of Oscar seeing him when he’s this vulnerable. He doesn’t even try to control his voice and ends up sounding harsh and cold, but he can’t bring himself to care, not when he’d rather get rid of all emotions concerning this pretty beta in front of him than try to be gentle with him. Oscar purses his lips together and clenches his fists. His face is not a mask anymore, frustration and hesitance are clearly battling inside him and it shows in the way he’s frowning like he’s solving some overly complicated puzzle. Lando wants to laugh – does this boy realize that he is a puzzle and not Lando?

‘I’ll bring more water.’ Oscar settles on that, turning to leave.

‘Get out, then.’ Lando says loudly, shattering their hushed conversation. Oscar freezes with his back turned to him, his shoulders tense and locked. ‘If running away is all what you know how to do then run and get out of this house. I don’t need your pity.’

Lando’s heart rabbits away in his chest when Oscar doesn’t move. He holds his breath and when Oscar’s shoulders sag, he thinks that’s it. He lost it – truly, outdone himself. His temper is not light, but as soon as the words leave his mouth, he feels good and horrible at the same time. Good for finally giving an outlet for his anger. Horrible for talking to Oscar in such way. He almost wishes Oscar would just go – it’s a perfect opportunity for him to leave and never come back and finally set Lando’s heart free of turmoil by doing so. But when Oscar slowly turns, meeting Lando’s gaze dead on, he realizes that in reality this is what he wants – for Oscar to stay.

‘Pity,’ Oscar repeats in a dry voice. ‘You think I’m here because of the pity?’

The air changes in the room, growing more charged. Oscar doesn’t look scared anymore, he looks angry. And it only makes Lando furious. ‘What else can it be? Or are you being this charitable to every single injured guy?’

Lando is weak but the fury fuels him up, bringing more energy and more clarity. The sleep is long gone from his eyes as he pins Oscar with his heavy gaze. This boy is something else; Lando never had someone make him want to crush them and kiss them at the same time. Oscar’s eyebags are dark and he looks hollow in general, and it hurts Lando to see him like this but-

‘I saw you there,’ Oscar breathes out, voice straining with restraint to keep himself from shouting. ‘Bleeding. Barely breathing. With- with head of another wolf by your side. You didn’t even react to anything or anyone, not even when you were carried. You were motionless like you were… dead.’ Oscar visibly shakes; small tremors wreck his body as memories flash behind his eyes. ‘Jon said that you might not make it. And I- I couldn’t-‘

Oscar bites his lower lip, exhaling sharply. Lando’s heart slows down and so does time. Alpha stares at the boy in front of him and he can feel his pain, can see how even just talking about it brings Oscar a great deal with discomfort. And it’s genuine, there’s no pity there, just raw ache that makes Lando want to reach out, but he can’t. He can’t, he can’t. ‘And?’ He asks instead, barely breathing.

Oscar huffs, shaking his head. He takes a deep breath and when he looks at Lando, his eyes are suspiciously shiny. ‘And? And I stayed. And the ships left. They left, Lando. My chance of getting out of here, of getting my mom out of here – I gave it all away because I couldn’t leave you like that.’

Lando’s hand twitches but he forces himself to sit still. What is this boy saying? Oscar suddenly lets out a short laugh that’s full of disbelief as he looks up and shakes his head. ‘I let them go. Told Mark that I won’t come, that my mom won’t come, that we have to stay here. Because leaving you like that was-‘ Oscar’s hand fall limp on his sides as all energy sucks out of him. ‘-was impossible.’

Don’t get your hopes up. Don’t. He will break your heart again. ‘Savior complex?’ Lando asks humorlessly. ‘If you found me then you had to take care of me? There are plenty of people here who’d stitch me back up, Oscar. Don’t blame me for missing your ticket to paradise.’

For a second he thinks Oscar is going to punch him. But beta only throws his hand up in the air and then hides his face in them, groaning so loud that it startles Lando. When he looks at alpha, the amount of pain and desperation in his gaze can fill the biggest ocean. ‘How can you- this is how you understood it? That I am blaming you for-‘

Oscar makes a pained noise at the back of his throat and moves in a hurry until he’s kneeling right next to Lando. This position makes him look at alpha like he’s standing at the altar, ready to pray. Lando barely registers what is happening before his scent spikes at Oscar’s closeness. Oscar doesn’t seem to notice though, all wide-eyed and desperate to make Lando understand. ‘I’m not blaming you for anything. I’m trying to explain that I- it’s not because you got injured, that’s not why I stayed. I would’ve stayed even if nothing happened to you, even if we continued ignoring each other, even if you never spoke to me again.’

‘Oscar,’ Lando lets out, surprised. This is not what he thought he’d hear.

‘I thought I could kill it,’ Oscar shakes his head, chuckling sadly. ‘Thought ignoring you would help, but then I saw you bleeding, not breathing and I couldn’t- I wanted to die, Lando.’

Lando’s breath hitches. The sincerity, the raw pain in Oscar’s voice and eyes shocks him to the core. ‘Oscar,’ he repeats again, in awe. ‘What-‘

‘I prayed. And I never do that because Gods never fucking listen, but I prayed for you. Prayed that they won’t take you away, because I don’t know how to- I never met someone like you. Nobody ever made me feel like…this.’ Oscar gestures vaguely to himself, laughing in a self-depreciative manner. ‘I obsessively made you these potions because that’s the only way I could help. I laid awake at night just listening to the sound of your breathing, afraid that it might stop in one moment. I-‘ Oscar pauses and takes a deep breath. ‘I did not stay out of pity.’

He's staring at Lando’s hand in front of him instead of meeting alpha’s gaze. Silence between them is heavy and loaded and Lando is not sure what to say. He feels so much all at once that words fail him. And when that happens, he restores to the only thing he knows best – touch. Slowly he lifts his hand and reaches towards Oscar’s face, giving him all the time to pull back or slap his hand away. But Oscar does neither; his eyes widen at first and then he leans closer, leans into Lando’s palm, lets alpha cradle his cheek and jaw, turns his head a little to nuzzle into the touch. And it sends fire through Lando’s veins this first ever touch between them, this complete surrender from Oscar’s side. He thinks he’s going crazy, when Oscar moves and intentionally bares his neck like he is offering-

‘Oscar,’ Lando breathes out, shocked. He can’t not know what he’s doing, what it means.

Oscar opens his eyes, meeting Lando’s with finality that it set to kill. ‘Last time you said that I was running because I know what our connection means and I didn’t want it. That’s not true. I was running because I wanted it too much.’

Lando’s heart stops. One second passes and then it starts beating again, but stronger this time. His entire body thrums, buzzes with relief, elation and want. His scent breaks free, fueled by his emotions – it reaches to Oscar’s and lets it in. The reaction is instant: Oscar’s eyes widen at the realization and he all but sags on Lando’s bed, when their scents interlace together. Lando can’t sort his thoughts because they are all too chaotic, but he can sort his feelings into one – want, want, want, want.

‘Come here,’ he whispers in a strained voice.

He knows his eyes must be dark with desire, because understanding flashes in Oscar’s eyes and beta blushes, ducking his head shyly. Still, he obediently rises and sits awkwardly on Lando’s bed, not far but not close enough either. Lando’s hand moves from his jaw to the back of his neck, and he pulls harshly, making Oscar gasp in surprise and lean forward, balancing himself on two hands from either side of Lando’s head. Like this their faces are inches apart and Lando still commands: ‘Closer.’

The way Oscar is looking at him should be illegal. He’s looking at Lando like he’s seeing the biggest treasure in the history, like if Lando tells him to jump he’ll ask how high, like Lando is the center of the universe and he can’t believe he gets to live in it. He moves closer, not breaking eye contact and Lando can’t take it anymore – he dives straight right in. He imagined their first kiss in a different way. He thought it’d be romantic and gentle, thought he’d make Oscar giggle first, blush from all the flirting and he’d lean in slowly then, reverently. In reality this kiss is all buried anger and unspoken frustration. Lando kisses like he has a point to prove and Oscar kisses back like he wants to challenge him in any way. Surrender, Lando’s scent whispers as alpha licks into his mouth. He sucks on Oscar’s tongue and relishes in a low moan it drags from him – this sound makes Lando’s hair on the arms stand up. Oscar tries to kiss back with as much fervor, but he lets Lando take control quickly enough; his scent also blooms, letting Lando’s pheromones cover it. Lando breaks off only to bite on beta’s lower lip and dive back in, tracing his teeth with his tongue, kissing Oscar until his hands don’t start shaking.

‘Lando-‘ Oscar turns his head to the side and then hides in Lando’s collarbones, breathing heavily. His hands fall on alpha’s shoulders, squeezing them.

‘Look at me,’ Lando asks, licking his lips. God, Oscar tastes divine. He again grabs Oscar by the neck, but beta stubbornly refuses, only burying himself deeper in Lando’s neck. ‘Don’t- Oscar, you’re too close to my scent glands. You know it’s not good.’

Lando can feel Oscar inhaling more and more of him unconsciously and he stiffens. He changes his tactics, caressing Oscar’s back and whispering: ‘You’ll get scent drunk, Osc. Come up from there, baby.’

His heart skips a beat when Oscar lets out a breathy whine at this. Lando grins so hard that his cheeks start hurting from it. ‘You like when I call you ‘baby’? Hm?’

Oscar peels himself away from his neck, adorably flushed. Even tips of his ears are red as he tries to stare Lando down in a disapproving glare. It doesn’t work at all cause he looks more like a cute kitten, but Lando lets him have it, not touching him save for his hand on Oscar’s back. It’s hard to control it, but he tries his best to reel in his scent, not wanting to overwhelm beta even more. Emotions are high and they don’t need the scents in that mix too. Oscar notices, of course and tenses up, going rigid. ‘Why-‘

‘You want it too much?’ Lando asks, repeating Oscar’s words. ‘Tell me, Osc. You want what too much?’

Oscar bites his lower lip, understanding what’s happening. Lando says silent prayer to all of the Gods, when instead of running, the boy in front of him decides to face it all directly: ‘You.’

His answer was quiet but sure, feeling Lando with joy. He knows that’s not all though, however. ‘But…?’ He prompts gently. Because there is a but there, he knows.

‘But I don’t know you,’ Oscar lets out, sounding small. He looks dejected as he continues: ‘But it’s all too sudden. But I am so different from you, from all of you. But you won’t- when you’ll learn the real me-‘ Oscar pauses, closing his eyes. It feels like there’s so much more he wants to say, but he settles on repeating instead: ‘But I don’t know you.’

‘Get to know me, then.’ Lando proposes softly. He doesn’t want to pressure but if this is all what’s holding Oscar back then he can work with that. ‘Take your time. I’m not going anywhere. Get to know me and then decide. But don’t run before even trying.’

Lando understands, he’s a coward himself. Oscar’s scent goes back to being restless, but when Lando starts drawing circles on his back, it settles back again. Oscar doesn’t say anything for a while and Lando doesn’t rush him. Oscar looks contemplative, like he’s weighing in all pros and cons and when at the end he looks up, Lando braces himself for the hardest question that’s about to come. However, Oscar surprises him with the easiest question ever: ‘And you want… this? Too?’

Lando’s brain is too tired and fried to tell Oscar that he’s a part of him already. He can’t make his tongue work to tell him that he already belongs to Oscar, that there’s no going back. He can’t even begin to start explaining how he’d beg Oscar for a chance to be with him, to show him that Lando is the only one for him. He only manages to mutter: ‘I do, Osc. More than you know, more than you think.’

It seems to be enough. Oscar stares at him for a few seconds and Lando doesn’t know what he can possibly find in his face apart from fondness and love, but whatever it is, Oscar is happy with it. Happy enough to smile that beautiful smile of his, the one that pushes the apples of his cheeks higher, makes his eyes go all squinty and shows off his adorable teeth. The one that Lando wants directed at him at all times. He gestures Oscar to lie down next to him, but beta shakes his head, standing up. ‘Kai is in the living room, I can’t leave him.’

Fuck, Lando only loves him more for this. He nods and Oscar shyly leans in to kiss his forehead before straightening and grabbing the bowl and towel from the table. ‘I’ll bring those back. I’ll leave the door and will be in the living room, just call if you need anything.’

Lando nods. He doesn’t want Oscar to leave, and Oscar doesn’t want it too, lingering at the entrance. ‘Thank you, Osc.’ Lando says quietly and adds: ‘Go sleep, baby. I’ll be fine.’

He adores the way Oscar’s blush deepens at the pet name. ‘Good night,’ he whispers, looking at Lando with longing that makes alpha want to stand up and pull him back to the bed.

‘Night,’ he whispers and closes his eyes only when Oscar’s footsteps fade.

Notes:

my god. 11k words for this chapter, i am DRAINED.

first of all, apologies for the way the battle scene was written. i think i may have...overestimated...my abilities... but hopefully it wasn't VERY bad. i'll try my best to get it better next time!
second, i hope little snippet of lando's connection with god Tano made sense. tried to describe it as best as i could!
and third. ugh. the kiss. fingers crossed you guys are not disappointed!!

let me know all your thoughts in the comments please!! as always, thank you for your love and kindness to this story. your support is the best thing in this world of corporations and never ending presentations. - nini

come say hi on my tumblr !

Chapter 8: being brave

There’s blood everywhere. On the floor, on the bed, on Lando’s body, on Oscar’s hands. It’s dark red, keeps on flowing, smells stale and like iron. Oscar’s shaking, frozen in shock with his hands still pressed on alpha’s wound even though his body has long gone cold and last breath was drawn a long time ago. Oscar’s mind refuses to wrap around reality, can’t accept that he won’t ever get to look in the eyes color of sea foam anymore. No. No, no, no. It can’t be it, it can’t – Lando can’t be dead. He can’t be dead thinking that Oscar hates him, that Oscar doesn’t acknowledge their connection. This can’t be happening, it can’t-

‘My dear.’

Oscar gasps, flinching so harsh that he almost knocks Kai over in the process of sitting up. The pup lets out a confused groan but settles back into the covers easily, too tired to fight the sleep. Breathing hard Oscar stares in shock at his mother, whose face is etched with worry as she gently caresses his back. Light sunlight creeps into the room through the window, reminding Oscar that it’s morning already and that he just saw a nightmare. Awfully real, but nightmare, nonetheless. Nicole lets him breathe and just sits quietly, while Oscar regains control of his senses enough to delay panic attack.

‘I prepared new ointment yesterday and came over to bring it in,’ his mother whispers still caressing his back. ‘Came here and you were shaking. Nightmares again?’

Oscar nods. He never really had them because he mostly slept like dead, but in the past three days sleep was a distant memory of something too far out of reach. Oscar didn’t sleep, he drifted somewhere on the surface, always close enough to hear a slight change in Lando’s breathing or any other sound coming from his room. His eyes were closed but his mind didn’t stop running, feeding him nightmare after nightmare all with the same ending – Lando’s death. Oscar thought that he wouldn’t see one after what happened yesterday, but apparently his consciousness won’t calm down until Lando heals completely.

‘Yeah, but I’m fine,’ he mutters, glancing at little pup next to him. Kai is sleeping soundly with his mouth open, his one hand stretched towards Oscar, seeking his comfort even in the sleep. Oscar tucks the covers higher for him and then turns to his mother: ‘You shouldn’t have walked here all the way, I was planning to stop by for more herbs anyways.’

She doesn’t reply to this, only stands up and beckons Oscar to follow. They don’t talk much these days even though Oscar knows he owes his mother at least some kind of explanation. She didn’t ask when he burst into their house three days ago and all but shouted at her to give him all ointments for infections treatment and demanded she’d teach him how to make potions for numbing pain, for speedy recovery. She didn’t ask when he started spending every night in this house instead of coming back to his own. She didn’t ask or judge, she only guided him patiently through the instructions and helped him with everything she could. Oscar should’ve said something a long time ago, because now it’s harder to get to the bottom of the things, to tell her everything. When two days ago Jon said that Lando’s spine looks good and that potions are really helping with the tearing on his left side, Oscar rushed back home. He found his mother in the kitchen, hunched over their dinner table, preparing yet another potion for Lando. He didn’t say anything, he just knelt and wrapped his arms around her waist, hiding his face in her legs, holding her tightly. He hoped it conveyed how thankful he was, how unexplainably grateful he was for her help. When her hand came up to brush his hair lovingly, Oscar thought that she understood everything without words.

‘Thanks,’ he says somewhat awkwardly as she shows him the jars she brought.

‘Is he doing better?’ Nicole asks, coming up close to him. ‘Getting stronger?’

He’s strong enough to kiss me, is on the tip of his tongue but he swallows it down. Oscar pushes that particular memory away, not wanting to dive into this now. ‘I think so, yes,’ he says instead and then smiles sincerely. ‘Thanks to your amazing work.’

His mother doesn’t even smile at this. Her eyes are trained on his face, and Oscar knows he looks bad. Knows there are dark eye bags under his eyes, knows that tiredness is practically etched into his skin, knows that sleepless nights are catching up with him. Nicole reaches out to brush long hair strand out of his forehead. ‘I hope he’ll heal faster for your sake,’ she whispers, frowning as she checks Oscar’s face. ‘I can’t bear to look at you like this anymore.’

Oscar gulps. She didn’t ask him a thing about Lando, but he knows she put two and two together, knows that she’s aware of Lando being the very same Lando he talked about last time to her. She knows that an injured alpha in this house is the one who made Oscar question everything, the one for who Oscar’s scent reaches out, the one who started the whole transformation in Oscar. And yet – she doesn’t ask. She doesn’t question Oscar’s obsession with potions and recipes and how his need to do at least something for Lando is running him down. She doesn’t judge him for not explaining anything to her. She doesn’t berate him for spending all his time here with the North pack. She only makes more potions and prays for Lando’s speedy recovery along with others. God, Oscar never loved her more.

‘You need to rest too,’ she says at last. Oscar is about to protest and say that he’s fine, but she stops him with perfectly aimed words: ‘You won’t be able to take good care of him if you’re barely standing on your feet.’

That makes Oscar pause. He knows he’s running on low fuel, knows that very soon he will collapse from exhaustion, but it’s almost inhuman to think of himself now when Lando is covered in bandages in the next room. He lets his mother sit him down, lets her reheat the soup that Luisa cooked yesterday, lets her watch him as he eats not really tasting much at all. He’s halfway through the bowl, when she notices: ‘You smell different.’

Oscar frowns. Does he? Giving him a short whiff he freezes, realizing what she means. There are obvious notes of sea salt in his scent, curled into his skin unashamedly. They make his own scent deeper, mixing so perfectly like they were meant to be there always, all the time. Oscar breathes in again, just because he can, because he likes this mixture of him and Lando on his skin. He smells like Lando. Not fully, not strong enough to reek of him, but still. It makes his heart soar. ‘I- uh-‘

‘It’s him, isn’t it?’ Nicole asks quietly without any judgement. ‘Lando?’

Oscar can only nod. What else is there to say? He is not about to tell his mother that yesterday he’s been kissed by the boy for the first time in his life and how it felt like in alpha’s arms he finally found his place in this world. His mother doesn’t need any words though; Oscar thinks she knows him better than he knows himself. She can see through his fears and probably knows what it means if Oscar smells like Lando. She squeezes his hand once before murmuring: ‘I’ve never seen you so scared for someone else.’

And he never has been. Oscar still can’t shake off the phantom fear that gripped his heart at the sight of Lando in a wolf form, bleeding out on the rocks. He thought he knew himself well, but he never knew he could be this afraid. Oscar knows everything about losses, he experienced too many of them, but he lost majority of his family to the unknown. To the merciless sea without knowing when and how, without being able to help. It’s different with Lando, because he was right there, holding his paws and cleaning his tail. He was right there, dabbing his forehead with a cold towel, making him take potions three times a day, listening to his breathing. He was right there, and the fear was tangible, it occupied the whole house, it made it hard to breathe. At the thought of Lando dying Oscar wanted to die himself. Which is- not normal. But, Oscar fears, he was, is and never will be normal about Lando.

‘If he’s that important for you,’ his mother continues, looking at him. ‘And if you already smell like him… I hope you let yourself have this, dearest.’ Oscar blinks, surprised. Nicole smiles faintly. ‘I hope you let yourself be happy. You deserve it.’

His eyes prickle with something that is very close to tears. His throat tightens and his chest suddenly gets too small for his heart. Oscar can’t even swallow, can’t move, can’t say something. He wants. God, he wants so badly to believe in this. To think that he deserves happiness, deserves Lando. To believe that yesterday’s kiss wasn’t a fluke, that the way Lando looked at him like Oscar might be his salvation wasn’t a dream. His mask slipped yesterday because after hearing ‘get out of here’ from Lando he couldn’t think straight. The thought of Lando not wanting him here hurt so much, he couldn’t bear not telling the truth anymore. His actions feel like a fever dream: him kneeling in front of Lando’s bed, baring his neck for him, kissing him, inhaling his scent. Oscar doesn’t act rashly, doesn’t pour his heart out, doesn’t kneel, certainly doesn’t go baring his neck because his instincts screamed at him to do so. He doesn’t – but that’s Lando and Oscar’s usual tactics never work with him. His walls, his masks, his defenses don’t work with Lando. What a terrifying realization.

‘We are not-‘ Oscar can’t even finish this sentence. They are not what? They just kissed. For alpha like Lando kiss probably doesn’t even mean a thing, but for Oscar? Who hasn’t been kissed since Lily? Who hasn’t let anyone touch him or come close to him for such a long time that he forgot how it felt to hold and be held? ‘I mean, we are not. We are-‘

‘Oscar,’ his mother shushes him and there’s so much quiet understanding in her eyes that Oscar’s urge to shut this topic increases tenfold. ‘Look at me, dearest. I don’t know what happened, but I know you and if you’re acting like this about him then it means he’s important. All I’m asking is to let yourself be important to him, too. Because I think that you are, but you just don’t want to see it.’

Oscar can’t even begin to form an answer because the door creaks and by the sweet scent of vanilla Oscar gets that Luisa just came. His mother squeezes his hand one last time before she stands up and greets the other girl, who instantly smiles. Luisa is a nice girl, pretty omega with her long brown hair and big eyes. She’s a bit like Lando with her tanned skin and wide smile, long eyelashes and ability to captivate anyone’s attention. Oscar nods at her when she comes to the kitchen and she nods back, a smile dropping just a little at the sight of him. Oh, and yes, she’s obviously in love with Lando, which is not very surprising. Oscar is half convinced that half of the people he knows in the North pack are somehow platonically or romantically head over heels for Lando and he can’t blame them, really. He understands why.

‘Did he have fever again?’ Luisa asks, blowing on her hands to get warm. She notices the bowl on the table: ‘Oh, you already ate? I can make some more. Do you have-‘

Oscar knows. Knows that she caught a whiff of Lando’s scent on him from the way her eyes widen, and she pauses, staring at him in shock. The scents only linger between mates or after any kind of intimacy and Oscar feels both sick satisfaction from knowing that Luisa is also aware of it and horrible anxiety from not knowing what it meant to Lando. Yesterday they didn’t give it a name, just said that they both want… this. Whatever the hell it meant. And it was enough for Oscar yesterday, but right now standing under Luisa’s scrutinizing gaze, it suddenly is not enough at all. Because not giving a name to it almost means it doesn’t exist and if it doesn’t exist it means that others like Luisa are free to... Oscar clenches his fists. Free to go to Lando, look at him like he’s not Oscar’s, take him like he’s available. Oscar suddenly feels ill.

‘You-‘ Luisa starts and then cuts herself off, her sweet vanilla scent turns burnt. She eyes Oscar with confusion, distrust and distaste. In all honesty, Oscar can’t blame her. ‘Your mother is about to leave. You should walk her out.’

It’s the politest dismissal Oscar heard in his life. He walks out on autopilot and hugs his mother on autopilot too, not noticing the concerned look she sends his way. ‘Let me know if anything else is needed,’ she says at last to which Oscar nods absentmindedly. Nicole grabs him by the wrist then, forcing his attention on her: ‘Don’t forget what I said, my dear. Just open your eyes and you will see.’

Oscar goes back and doesn’t enter the kitchen. He knows Luisa is readying everything to change Lando’s bandages, knows this time for the first time he’ll probably be awake during the whole procedure. Which means they will talk, she will probably smile sweetly at him and captivate him with her sweet vanilla scent and before Oscar can dig there any deeper, he shuffles back to the living room and lies down next to Kai. Little pup, sensing his presence, cuddles closer, sighing contently in his sleep. Oscar smiles and tucks his head in pup’s head; breathes in his fresh apples scent and lets it drift him to the land dreams.

=+=

Oscar wakes up with a startling awareness that he slept too much. The heaviness of his limbs is a dead giveaway, and he’s only half surprised to see the dark sky out of the window. His head pounds from sleeping too much and his eyes sting from dryness, he closes them momentarily and opens again when he hears quiet shuffling nearby. Coldness washes over him when a strong scent of coil and something burnt reaches his nose; he hastily sits up, not wanting to lie awake in Max Verstappen’s presence. Him and Max are… cordial. Oscar knows he is not imagining hostility from pack alpha and he knows it has everything to do with Oscar being the only member not from the North pack who’s staying here. He understands cautiousness that he’s being regarded with from Jon, Luisa or Daniel – he’s new and while they are all polite with him, no one is exactly friendly apart from George and Alex. Max, though; Max stares at Oscar like he’s trying to depict his brain, find his weakness and use it against him in the most surprising way. Max’s eyes are cold and calculating; they haven’t exchanged a single word between each other and yet somehow Oscar knows that he's not welcome here by pack alpha.

There’s no one else in the living room and the silence between them is suffocating. Oscar hears sounds coming from the kitchen, can make out Daniel’s minty scent and Alex’s low murmur. He doesn’t see Kai anywhere and his scent spikes with nerves, when Max suddenly says: ‘Kai is with Lando.’

Oscar’s nerves settle and he doesn’t even question how alpha rightly understood what he was thinking about. Clearing his throat Oscar stands up, wanting to go greet George or go visit Lando – anything to not stay in the room with this man, but right when he moves towards the door Max calls: ‘Oscar. Stay.’

It’s an order. Max doesn’t even try to change his tone or make it sound like it isn’t one – no, it’s a direct order and Oscar bristles, but obediently turns, facing pack alpha. It’s hard to hold Max’s gaze, those icy blue eyes leave no room for lies or hiding; Oscar looks away. ‘Lando is conscious,’ Max starts in a low voice. ‘Jon says the worst scare is over. In a few days he’ll start walking and in a week, Jon will take him for a run. Lots of it has to do with you and your mother and I hope you can extend my gratitude to her as well – thank you for your help and support.’

Oscar nods. It’s entirely too diplomatic and he’s been around the Elders enough to know that what’s about to come next will be bad. A shit sandwich, Charles likes to call it: you start off nicely then add the awful part and, in the end, cover it up with something nice again. Classic.

‘Now that Lando is better, I don’t see why you should stay here.’ Max’s voice cuts through the silence, through Oscar’s heart. Beta freezes as pack alpha smoothly continues: ‘I believe we can manage the rest of his recovery without your support. Jon and Luisa will handle the rest.’

Oscar’s heart drops down, down, down to the pit of his stomach. He expected something harsh but not this. Not the cold way of Max just getting rid of him like he doesn’t matter, like he just stayed here because making potions for Lando was his job. This is the second time when Oscar’s being told to get out of this house and it’s too much; tornado flares up in his chest. ‘You want me to leave right now,’ he mutters flatly, meeting Max’s gaze dead on.

Max nods. ‘Yes.’ The fact that he’s not even trying to butter Oscar up is astonishing but not entirely surprising. ‘I’d like it very much. Thank you again for your support.’

Oscar scoffs, not caring that this is now how you behave in front of a pack alpha. This is ridiculous, everything about this is just utterly ridiculous and there are too many feelings in his chest for him to breathe properly. Oscar wants to laugh from absurdity, cry from unfairness, shout from anger; how does his mother want him to allow himself happiness if all the people around him seem to be against it? Taking a deep breath, Oscar asks in the most measured voice he can pull: ‘Why?’

‘As I said, Lando is getting-‘

‘Not this bullshit,’ Oscar cuts off angrily, ignoring the way Max’s eyebrows rise to his hairline at it. ‘I want the real reason. Why? Why are you trying to get rid of me? What did I do?’

What have I done apart from taking care of Lando? What have I done to you, to your pack? I tried to stay away, I did. I tried not to get close, but I couldn’t. You should understand me, I see the way you look at Lando, you know how impossible it is to not love him. Oscar doesn’t usually register changes in his scent, but even he can tell that he’s starting to reek of anger mixed with anxiety and hurt. Max briefly looks somewhere to the right of Oscar and mouths ‘close the door’ to whoever came up behind Oscar. The door closes quietly, trapping Oscar’s scent in the living room. Max doesn’t even blink at it, doesn’t look somehow bothered by the assault of Oscar’s emotions – he simply clocks his head to the side, observing beta in a calculative manner. Oscar doesn’t shrink under this gaze, refuses to do so; he’s not going to let Max Verstappen intimidate him. He’s not going to let Max Verstappen dismiss him out of this house and let Jon, let Luisa handle the rest. Over his dead fucking body.

‘Real reason, you say…’ Max trails off thoughtfully. ‘I suppose you deserve honesty after your help. Yes, Oscar. I want to get rid of you because I don’t want anyone from the anti-North pack movement anywhere near Lando. Or anyone from my pack for that matter.’

Oscar hopes he misheard. This simply can’t be real. ‘What?’

‘Your friend Logan is leading this wonderful team of fellow thinkers who are treating my people like scum,’ Max explains in a calm tone, but his eyes give away his murderous intent. ‘And quite a team that is, getting bigger and bigger. He’s a very passionate leader too, didn’t you know?’

Logan can’t. He wouldn’t – not when he knows that Oscar’s mother is from the North herself, not when he knows that Oscar was brought up in North traditions. He won’t turn like this on Oscar. Right? ‘I-‘

‘I wonder what he thinks of you spending all your time in a house of someone he calls a freak,’ Max continues in an annoyingly calm voice. ‘I wonder if he had set you up here on purpose. Do you know that on the first night I thought you were about to poison Lando with your potion? I wanted to throw you out of this house, but George calmed me down and then Jon said that he’ll check your potions personally.’

Oscar stares at Max in shock. The icy blue eyes betray none of his emotions, but the scent of coil slowly gets stronger, easily overpowering Oscar’s scent in the room. Max stares at Oscar like he’s an enemy which is baffling, because Oscar thought everyone could see, thought it was written on his face that he’d die to save Lando. He can’t even begin to comprehend Max’s line of thinking, because he rejected Mark’s offer for him. He stayed beside his mother and told her that he couldn’t leave and then repeated the same sentence to Mark, who looked like those words broke his heart. Poison Lando? Oscar thinks the earth sooner opens and spits out fire on all of them than he will hurt Lando on purpose.

‘I will never hurt Lando,’ Oscar lets out with his heart hammering at his chest. His voice even to his own ears comes out broken.

Max stares at him for a beat and something flashes in his eyes, something soft that’s gone too soon for Oscar to analyze it. ‘You won’t,’ he says calmly, agreeing. ‘But your people will.’

Your people. The urge to shout that they are not his, that Oscar never belonged to them is so overwhelming that Oscar almost chokes on it. He opens his mouth to protest when Max speaks: ‘Will you turn your back on your people for him? You won’t. And I can’t endanger him. Not him.’ Max’s voice cracks just a tiny little, small crack in his armor as he finishes: ‘Not anyone in this pack, but especially not him, Oscar. Not Lando.’

In any other situation Oscar would’ve applauded Max for his protectiveness. How can it be that they want the same thing but stand from different sides? Just the thought of Oscar somehow facilitating harming Lando is so disturbing, his entire body starts shaking with rejection of this idea. He won’t. He will never. His pulse skyrockets at the implications and his head swims with all the negative thoughts of him being a danger to Lando. Is he? Could he ever be? What-

‘Oscar.’ Max suddenly stands up slowly, watching Oscar cautiously. ‘I need you to breathe, okay? You’re hyperventilating. Breathe, Oscar.’

The door opens with a bang, and someone grabs Oscar’s shoulders and turns him around. George’s green eyes appear in Oscar’s vision and he can tell that omega is saying something, his mouth is moving, but he doesn’t hear a thing apart from a loud ringing in his ears. His chest feels too tight, his ribs squeeze in, leaving no room for lungs, for heart. Oscar registers touch on his back, realizes George is forcefully emitting calming pheromones to soothe him, which helps a little – the pressure from his chest eases. He tries to breathe in following omega’s instructions and his whole-body tingles once the consciousness and control return back to him.

‘Do not come close to him!’ George growls at Max, who hovers unsurely in their space.

‘Watch it, Russell.’ Max’s voice is clipped, but he obeys and doesn’t move an inch.

‘No, you watch it!’ George’s voice is full of venom. ‘How can you-‘

Oscar tunes them out, mostly because his head feels like it’ll split in two any second now. He breathes shakily, more aware of his body and senses than before, but everything what happens in the room turns into a background noise, he can’t care of it enough to focus on it. Oscar thinks of just leaving and letting these two have a go at each other on their own, when a voice rings through the corridor, making everyone freeze. It’s loud, but not loud enough to be heard over George and Max and yet everyone heard it clearly. Because this is the voice everyone hoped they’ll get to hear again soon, the voice everyone waited to hear with bated breath. It’s Lando’s voice calling out Oscar’s name. Oscar thinks he’d hear it even when there was only loud ringing in his ears. He doesn’t move at first, shocked just by the sound of it. George and Max look equally stunned, staring at the door like it might give them answers. For a split Oscar thought he imagined it along with everyone else. Collective hallucination. But then-

‘Oscar!’ More insistent this time, angrier, louder.

Jon’s head pops next to the door. Older beta takes one look at the situation inside and then focuses on Oscar, raising his eyebrow. ‘You heard him, right?’

‘Go,’ George whispers, squeezing Oscar’s shoulder once. ‘Go before that idiot decides he’s good enough to stand and tries to come after you himself.’

Max next to him twitches like he wants to grab Oscar and prevent him from going. His face shows all the displeasure he’s feeling and Oscar-

Oscar doesn’t care. Because Lando is there, calling for him and he will go there even if it means getting to feel all the wrath of Max Verstappen afterwards. He moves swiftly, brushes past George and Jon, doesn’t spare a glance to Daniel and Luisa who’re standing in the kitchen, goes straight to Lando’s room and only when he gets inside, closing the door behind himself, does he exhale. Leaning on the door Oscar takes few calming breaths with closed eyes before opening them, when two small hands dig into his waist. When he looks down, Kai is already looking up at him with big eyes and scrunched up nose. ‘You smell bad,’ pup announces, wrinkling his whole face.

Oscar huffs a laugh, brushing his fingers through pup’s hair twice. ‘Sorry.’

Kai shrugs like it’s not a big deal and then lets go of him, taking a few steps back. ‘Lando called you.’ With that he opens the door and leaves.

Right. The main reason of him standing here. Oscar already feels alpha’s heavy gaze on him, but when their eyes meet, he is stunned to drown in the ocean of worry. Lando’s eyes move from his face to his body like he’s checking for some physical damage and when he finds none, he demands: ‘What happened?’

Oscar unpeels himself from the door, taking shaky steps towards Lando. Alpha is sitting with one arm around his freshly bandaged torso, but his legs are pulled together, and torso is inclined like- like he wanted to get up from the bed. Which can’t be true. Or? Oscar stills, raising his eyebrow almost judgmentally: ‘Were you planning to get up?’

Lando tilts his head to the side, looking every bit like a confused puppy. ‘Uh- yeah?’

Oscar wants to smash this idiotic alpha’s head on the wall. ‘You are barely sitting, how the hell did you want to get up?’

‘You smelled like someone hurt you. Like you were scared.’ Lando answers like what he’s saying is good enough justification.

Screw that, Oscar is going to smash this idiotic alpha’s head on the wall twice and then cradle it gently in his palms and kiss the pain away. God. Oscar inhales, holds it for three seconds and then exhales. ‘You can’t get up, Lando. You are not nearly strong enough to do it. You’ll also probably open all stitches if you try that.’

Oscar doesn’t dare come closer; he sits at the edge of the bed next to Lando’s feet. The whole room smells of alpha and Oscar unconsciously takes big gulps of air, forcing more of this smell inside, trying to replace Max’s scent with it. His thoughts are swirling with all the questions: What if Max is right? What if being with Oscar is dangerous for Lando? What if Oscar is dangerous for the North pack?

‘I was sleeping when I sensed your distress,’ Lando explains when it becomes clear that Oscar is not going to talk. ‘I could smell your nerves all the way from here, what happened? I know Max is here too. Did he say something?’

Open your eyes and you will see. Realization dawns on Oscar like a cold shower. He stares at Lando, and a crippling sense of understanding freezes him in one place. Lando sensed him, his fear, his anxiety, his distress. Lando was about to get up – bandaged, not healed, too weak to even stand – and search for him. Come to him, help him. That’s not what you do for someone who you are not serious about. That’s something you do for someone who is… He is important to you. Let yourself be important to him, too.

‘And if he did?’ Oscar asks in a strained voice. ‘If he’s the one who hurt me and made me scared?’

Lando’s expression changes. The worry gets replaced with fierce determination and cold anger. ‘Then I’d make sure he regrets it.’

Oscar’s breath stutters. He stares in those ocean green orbs and thinks that there’s no turning back for him. This is it. Even if Lando doesn’t feel a half of what he feels for him, Oscar won’t turn away. He can, of course. He can turn away right now and run from this house and never come back – end this story before it can begin. But Lando is sitting here ready to go against his pack alpha for Oscar. Max’s words ring in his head: ‘Will you turn back on your people for him? You won’t.’ Max said it so confidently, so surely – like he knows Oscar, like he already decided for him.

‘Did he?’ Lando’s voice pulls him out from his thoughts. ‘Hurt you?’

The only one hurting me is myself, Oscar wants to say. Because he’s the one holding back. He’s the one not letting himself have this even when this is all he wants. He’s the one making decisions for Lando inside his head before asking him. He’s the one pulling back from his desires, because he is not used to wanting and now with Lando all he can do is want. He’s burning with it – with desire to just be Lando’s. To know where both of them stand clearly. To kiss Lando and know that he’s the only one who can do this, who can have this. To not give a flying fuck about Luisa or Franco or any other person who has sights on alpha, because Lando is his – openly and, in Oscar’s deepest wishes, proudly. It still feels surreal to him to feel all of that, his chest barely can contain it all inside, but he can’t stop, doesn’t want to. Let yourself be happy. You deserve it. Maybe his mother is right. Maybe Oscar does deserve this – to fall for someone like Lando, who is strong and loyal and incredibly stubborn. Lando, whose eyes also hold grief and losses too big to forget. Lando, who is kind and protective and so, so beautiful. Maybe Oscar, despite being a mess of complicated emotions and fears, deserves him.

‘Oscar?’ Lando calls, worried this time. He’s frowning, trying to read beta’s face and coming up with nothing. ‘You with me?’

Oscar doesn’t answer. Instead, he moves. Lando watches him like a hawk as he leans close, puts his hand on Lando’s chest and gently pushes, making alpha lie back and stop straining his back. Oscar climbs on the bed ungracefully and tries to be very mindful of Lando’s left side, moving as close to alpha as he can without getting anywhere near the bandages. Propping himself on the elbow Oscar finally looks up once he’s settled somewhat comfortably on a bed that is surely not big enough for two grown adults. ‘I’m with you,’ he confirms quietly, taking Lando’s hand in his. He holds alpha’s gaze and swallowing, continues: ‘If you’ll have me.’

Lando blinks. Then blinks again. His mouth opens and his breath comes out wheezily like he’s been holding it in for too long. Oscar wets his lips, and a thrill runs down his spine as alpha’s eyes trace that movement intensely, greedily. ‘Max thinks that being with me will hurt you. That I will hurt you.’

Lando’s eyes focus back from his lips on him. He doesn’t look surprised to hear it, nor does he look upset about it. He lets go of Oscar’s hand and cradles his jaw instead, hooking his chin up. The unfiltered gentleness in his eyes makes Oscar want to cry. ‘Will you?’

It’s impossible to look away when Lando’s full attention is on him. Lando has this magnetic pull, this silent strength that hooks Oscar more than anything else. When alpha’s thumb gets close to his lips, Oscar gulps, hypnotized by the peculiar shade of Lando’s eyes. He was honest yesterday when he told Lando that he wants him, wants to try this. But it’s not all the truth. ‘Hurting you will hurt me more,’ he confesses in the space between them. Baring his soul to Lando strangely does not feel overwhelming or wrong.

Lando’s eyes are laser focused on him and when his thumb brushes corner of Oscar’s lip, he smiles, looking enchanted, looking at Oscar like he can’t believe his luck. Which is crazy because Oscar is the luckiest one here. And this gaze is what pushes Oscar to strip the last cover from his heart, because if Lando is out there ready to fight Max for him then Oscar will be brave too. Oscar will fight for him, for them, too.

‘I want you to be mine,’ he whispers, lifting his hand and gingerly placing it on Lando’s cheek. Alpha’s eyes widen a little, surprise clear on his face. Oscar takes a shuddering breath and continues: ‘I mean, we already said yesterday that we will try this, but- I don’t want to-‘ Oscar squeezes his eyes shut, frustrated at his inability to get his point across.

When he opens them, Lando is staring at him with a closed off face. He is holding Oscar’s jaw tenderly, but his scent grows thicker around them, enough to make Oscar shift uncomfortably. ‘You don’t want to what?’ Lando asks in a low voice.

‘I don’t want casual,’ Oscar lets out, sighing that the words are finally out. ‘I don’t want you looking at Luisa and-‘ he pauses, because Lando’s face transforms in an amused expression. ‘What?’

‘You don’t want me looking at Luisa?’ Lando repeats, fighting off a smile. ‘I’ve known her since I was a pup.’

Reminder of a shared history that they have between each other only makes Oscar snap: ‘I don’t want her looking at you thinking she has a chance because she doesn’t, because-‘ Oscar pauses, realizing that he’s getting heated much to Lando’s glee. God, it’s infatuating how handsome he finds Lando, how he can’t help but feel fond when he looks like that. ‘Because you are mine. And I’m yours.’

Lando’s smile freezes on his lips. The corners of his mouth slowly go down and his gaze sharpens like a razor. His hold on Oscar’s jaw tightens. ‘Say it again.’

It’s a demand. An order. Oscar follows momentarily without thinking: ‘I’m yours.’

It’s fascinating to watch Lando’s eyes darken, his jaw tensing. To watch how mirth in his eyes gets replaced with something else, something molten and raw, something dark like possession or desire. ‘Do you know what it means?’ Lando asks in a gravelly tone. ‘In the North, in our way. Do you know what it means? How we love?’

Oscar shakes his head unable to look away from alpha. Lando holds his gaze, murmuring in a hushed whisper that feels way too intimate than it should: ‘In the North, when we love someone, we claim them.’ Lando’s hand travels from his jaw to his ear and then to his neck. ‘We make sure everyone knows who we belong to.’ His fingers skim lightly on his skin, ignoring goosebumps that rise. They stop right at Oscar’s scent glands. ‘We wear each other’s bites openly, proudly. We scent each other.’

It's completely the opposite of the people in the South. No bites, no scenting. Certainly no claiming. Oscar wants it though and is shocked by exactly how much he wants it. It feels like he will vibrate out of his skin with how much he wants it. He’s not a fan of all of it in particular, but the thought of doing all of it with Lando dries his throat. He can’t help it – he moves his head, baring his neck further to alpha, shivering at the pleased rumble he receives in response.

‘We are possessive,’ Lando continues and tilts Oscar’s chin higher, fully covering his neck with his hand now. Oscar bites his tongue in order to not let a very embarrassing sound escape his mouth. ‘We are protective. We mate for life.’ Two fingers pinch his chin and then Oscar’s face is pulled down, right next to Lando’s, their noses just a breath away. ‘Now. Still want to be mine, Osc?’

Oscar is feverish with desire. He wants this so much, but even more than this, even more than being Lando’s, he wants –

‘Want you to be mine,’ he breathes out, unashamedly.

And this is it. The deepest pit of Oscar's desire. To have Lando as his, to have this gorgeous alpha as only his.This time the kiss didn’t surprise him at all. The tension in all his body snaps at the press of alpha’s lips and Oscar lets himself have this. Lets himself kiss back just as hungrily, lets himself enjoy and lose himself in the kiss. Lets his fingers tangle in alpha’s curls and tug him closer, because nothing can be close enough when it comes to Lando and him. Oscar’s head spins because he’s never been kissed like that by anyone, never kissed anyone like that too – with such hidden passion, such want. Oscar never wanted to crawl into someone’s heart and settle there, never wanted the kiss to not end, never wanted to melt into another. Surrender, he realizes, tastes unbelievably sweet.

‘Yours,’ Lando mumbles into his jaw, playfully biting at it. ‘Fuck, Osc- yours, baby. All yours.’

Oscar wants to laugh. The happiness at those words bubbles inside of him until he can’t stop the grin from spreading, breaking their kiss. He feels so good, no remnants of fear or anxiety present. He nuzzles to Lando’s cheeks, smiling when alpha turns and kisses him again, not able to stop searching for his lips. God, it feels so good. Oscar thinks he’s like a balloon, can go up in the air just from Lando calling himself his, calling him baby.

‘Lando,’ Oscar giggles quietly, impossibly happy. He likes saying his name out loud, it feels like it belongs in his mouth.

Lando’s face blooms at this. He pushes their foreheads together. ‘This sound. That giggle- want to hear it, always.’

Oscar blushes profusely, lowering his eyes. Trust him to find the most stubborn and the sweetest alpha for himself. He says: ‘Mhm, I’m yours, too.’

Lando hums, clearly pleased. His eyes twinkle with mirth, happiness and this unwavering confidence. ‘Yeah,’ he lets out quietly like it’s a secret. Looks at Oscar like he is not just someone else, someone random, but like he is his everything. ‘Yeah, Oscar, you are. Mine. My baby.’

The only reason Oscar doesn’t combust at this is because he’s too emotionally overwhelmed. His cheeks are burning hot though and Lando seems to find this absolutely delightful. He kisses him again just because he can and when he leans back, alpha beckons him to put his head on his shoulder. Oscar moves to another side then, not wanting to accidentally hurt Lando’s left tearing. He slots himself to alpha’s right side and the rest of the world disappears, because it doesn’t matter anymore. Doesn’t matter what people in the living room has to say about him, doesn’t matter because he’s choosing to let himself be happy, let himself have this.

‘We will talk about Max later,’ Lando says, sensing Oscar’s shift in the mood, how heavy his body becomes like he’s readying to sleep.

‘Tomorrow,’ Oscar mutters into his shoulder, closing his eyes. He slept so much today, but he can sleep even more with Lando by his side.

He helps Lando move back to horizontal position, cuddles fully to his side and sighs in satisfaction when Lando wraps his arm around his waist. ‘Tomorrow,’ he agrees, pressing a small kiss on Oscar’s head.

Oscar is out like a light, lulled by Lando’s scent and his steadily beating heart.

Notes:

see? see? i am capable of writing fluff! *pats myself on the back*
i didn't want to go back and describe all three days from oscar's pov because then this story will not move forward anyhow, but i tried to capture main moments here, hope it was okay!! next chapter will also be about landoscar bc i need these boys to have some fluff before i am doubling up on angst
also. also. god i am so happy that i managed to muster the courage and write this fic because not only am i making my beta!oscar thoughts real, but my possessive!jealous!oscar thoughts real too. but do you see the vision? do you?? pls tell me you do

as always, let me know your thoughts guys!! what do you think? <3 thank you for always being kind to me in the comments 💜 sending you all big hugs and kisses on your foreheads 💜

come talk to me on my tumblr!!

p.s. did you notice something new in the tags? ;) just wait for the next chapter hehe
p.s.s. i tried to add more spaces so it'll be readable, i hope it helped!!

Chapter 9: letting in

Cold never bothered Max. He doesn’t think he ever really registered it – his father trained him far too harsh to never dwell on measly things such as his level of comfort. Living in the North never bothered Max: he learned to feel at home with crisp, biting winds and snowy hazards. Numbing cold, gloomy skies, crunchy snow – none of that ever-bothered Max, but what truly did is darkness. Head alpha is staring at it right now with his blue eyes trained on the never-ending forest in front of him. Always be prepared, his father used to say, you never know what might lurk there. Well now Max knows. Max sees the torn head of the rogue wolf that fought with Lando every single time he closes his eyes – the image burns his eyelids if he lets himself think too much about it. Max thought he was prepared. Lando’s half-alive body on the cliff proved him wrong.

‘My turn.’ Daniel comes up silently behind him, but his minty scent travels far, always there to alert everyone of his presence. He stands next to Max, shoulder to shoulder. ‘What we are brooding about?’

‘We?’ Max asks, turning his head a little. ‘You just came.’

‘I am feeling everything you’re feeling, so yeah, we.’ Daniel shrugs, grinning. ‘So? What is it?’

Max lets himself feel it – this light satisfaction that comes from knowing that you’re not alone. He always knew it’d be lonely at top, he saw what responsibility of being head alpha did to his dad and his family; Max never was naïve regarding his future as a leader of this pack. But still, what a warm feeling it is, when Daniel says ‘we’ without thinking. Like he still is part of Max just like he always was, like they always were back in the days – him, Daniel and Lando.

‘Talked with The Elders today,’ Max starts calmly even though everything about The Elders sets his anger aflame. ‘They are very keen on ignoring my requests on checking that group of antis.’

Daniel scoffs loudly. ‘Of course they are, not surprised here. But that’s not what got you like this. What else, Maxy?’

‘They are getting more demanding. Just want us to march up to the Outlanders on our own instead of sitting here and preparing for the attack from them.’

The mint in the air turns sharper, showing Daniel’s frustration. ‘Did you tell them that they can go and fuck themselves?’

Max raises an unimpressed eyebrow. ‘Did they serve you lunch today in the main hall?’ Daniel nods. ‘So you know that I didn’t tell them that or else you’d be eating dirt from their shoes.’

It doesn’t sit well with Max. Nothing about The Elders sat well with him since the beginning and now it’s glaringly obvious to him that not only they are not welcome here, but they are not even seen as a pack – only as a tool for achieving their goals and just so happens that goals is to destroy the Outlanders. Sometimes Max wonders what his father would have done. Would he have stood against The Elders the same second they started acting disrespectful towards him? Would he start a war against them? Would his pride win and make him reject the merger? Or would he have done the same thing as Max: silently eat up whatever is happening just to have his pack safe and well fed? Jos wasn’t the best leader, but he was the only leader Max had known, and the pack stood by him through thick and thin, through bad decisions and the ugly ones too. Max knows he doesn’t have this loyalty yet, knows that every decision of his has high stakes and it’s… exhausting. But he learned not to be bothered by his body’s weak signals, too.

‘And what do you think about it?’ Daniel asks quietly. He leans, purposefully brushing his shoulder on Max’s as a show of silent support. ‘We gonna do it? It’s almost December already.’

Max knows what Daniel means – if he thinks of agreeing with The Elders then he better do it now. December is always a rather mild month even in the North and in the South it’s even better, it’s easier to travel, easier to bear the cold, easier to fight as snow still hasn’t turned the landscape into one big white blanket. Now is the chance to attack first, because then it’ll be wiser to stay and wait. He knows his pack is ready, he intentionally made sure to prepare everyone for a war from the very start, but… there’s no information on the Outlanders. Not on their full numbers, not on their definite location. Taking best of fighters with him on a journey and leaving all of his pack here, defenseless, when they don’t even know what’s waiting for them is… That’s a mindset of someone who’s afraid, his father’s voice booms in his head. And if you’re afraid then you already lost. ‘

I’m with you,’ Daniel voices suddenly, startling Max from his thoughts. Head alpha turns now fully to his friend, who has a serious expression on his face as he stares back at him. Daniel shrugs ‘Whatever you decide – I’m in. I’ll always support you, Maxy.’

Max’s throat tightens, making it hard to swallow. ‘I could be leading you all to the right death.’

Daniel shrugs like it’s not a big deal, like they are not talking right now about a very real threat. ‘So let it be it, then. Dying young always had a certain charm around it.’

The thing about Daniel that always manages to shake Max to the core, is how earnest he is. No mind to mouth filter, just says everything what’s in his heart with no regards to possible consequences. It’s incredibly stupid. It’s also incredibly disarming. ‘You’re supposed to challenge me and my decisions, not blindly follow my instructions.’

‘Please, you have Lewis and Kevin for that, they can challenge you however the fuck they want, I’m not here for that.’ Daniel looks disgusted by the mere idea, which makes Max chuckle. ‘I’m your friend, your brother. I’ll follow you wherever you go. We promised, remember? Me and Lando. You lead and we’ll follow.’

Max’s body thrums with suspended emotion. He shakes with it, feels like he’s going to combust from letting himself feel it – this warmth. Daniel turns fully to him, grabbing his shoulders and squeezing them tight, grounding Max with just this simple gesture. There were times when Max used to do the same for him, when he bore all of Daniel’s weight – physical and emotional – and carried it all, because Dan couldn’t do it anymore. It makes his bones ache in the most unfathomable way, this deep feeling in his chest, the one he has for Lando and him. ‘Why you’re telling me this now?’

Daniel smiles but it’s crooked and a bit sad at the edges. ‘Because you looked like you forgot it.’

Max stands unmoving, looking into Daniel’s eyes and finding only undying loyalty there. It never changed, never wavered and Max knows that maybe he deserved it with him being loyal back, but still. He clears his throat: ‘I didn’t. I know. I’m just-‘ Afraid. ‘I’m wondering what my father would’ve done.’

Daniel’s eyebrows shoot so high up his forehead that they disappear into his hairline. He stares at Max in disbelief like he can’t even comprehend that Max can have thoughts like this; he shakes his head and grips alpha’s shoulders tighter. ‘I don’t know what Jos would’ve done and no one knows this, Max. I only know that you care about this pack as a true leader should and any decision you make will be the right one. You know why? Because we will make it right. I don’t know how, but we’ll make sure everything works out in the end.’

Daniel’s confidence is completely unfounded. It has no ground, no solid base, it’s confidence based on nothing. And yet it’s better than any drug, better than anything Max has ever experienced – to feel this confidence in him. He swallows. ‘Even if I say to march to the Outlanders in December.’

‘I mean, let’s wait for Lando to heal and yeah, let’s fucking go,’ Daniel grins and his eyes sparkle with feral desire. ‘I’ll happily tear those fuckers up.’

Max doesn’t say anything and Daniel squints: ‘We… will wait for Lando to heal, right?’ When Max stays silent, alpha instantly presses: ‘That’s bullshit, Max. Lando will fucking sprint from his bed with broken bones to comes with us, you know it. Don’t make it harder.’

Is Max getting softer? Did the presence of a certain South pack’s omega softened him? Because before he wouldn’t have blinked on this question, but now… Now that he personally carried Lando’s barely breathing body to the healers he thinks differently. Clock is ticking and Lando will fully be healed only in a month or so, they can’t waste that much time. Going without Lando feels like he’ll go missing one limb but going with Lando who won’t be properly healed feels like he’ll go on unsteady feet. Both options are not ideal. ‘He can stay here and protect the pack,’ Max mutters in the end. ‘It’s a good plan.’

Daniel looks like he’s one second away from starting a physical fight with him. ‘It’s a shitty plan. And you know it.’ Max opens his mouth to answer, but Daniel interrupts: ‘We are waiting for Lando to heal and then we are going if you decide to go in the end. I will go anywhere with you, Max, but I’m not letting you leave Lando behind. It’s always been three of us. He will never forgive you for this.’

It's always been three of us. Jos used to say that forming close relationships with anyone is futile as they only weaken the mind. ‘Lean on no one but yourself’ was his main motto, the one he tried to drill into young Max’s head. It didn’t work, unfortunately. Max disappointed his father greatly in this regard, because he leaned on two other boys like they would never betray him even though he could never know for sure. With time Max learned that being able to lean on someone and have that certainty that there are people out there who will catch you when you fall does not make you weak – it makes you stronger, instead. Max looks at Daniel and allows himself to smile, just a little. It’s enough for Daniel though, who immediately sends him a ten-thousand-watt smile in return. He slaps him twice on the shoulder, satisfied. ‘See, it’s good that you have me here, Maxy. I’m always ready to remind you that you’re not alone.’

It makes him stand a little taller, this knowledge of him not being alone. They move towards the cliffs together to catch the beginning of the sunrise in a comfortable silence. Daniel was the only person who didn’t say a thing when Max decided to take on the patrols himself; he knew that Max’s anxiety could only be soothed if he made sure of Lando’s safety on his own. He only switched with Max closer to the sunrise, letting head alpha rest a little before breakfast. They both didn’t comment on staying closer to Lando’s house most of the days because they didn’t have to – protectiveness they both felt towards the younger curly haired alpha in their company didn’t need any explanation.

‘What do you think of that Oscar guy?’ Max asks after a while. They’re standing shoulder to shoulder again, leaning on the rock as the sun slowly starts to rise. ‘The one George is so hellbent on protecting.’

‘The bunny teethed beta? He’s harmless,’ Daniel turns to Max, nudging him playfully. ‘C’mon, you saw the way he looks at him. I think it’s more likely that he slices Logan to pieces than he’ll hurt Lando. He looks at our Landers like sun is coming out of his ass.’

Max scowls. ‘His friendship with Logan is exactly the reason for me not liking him. And he’s not from the North, he’s not even a wolf for fuck’s sake.’

‘Isn’t he the one George sees with Lando all the time in his dreams though?’

‘Since when you’re treating George’s visions seriously?’ Max barks out, surprised.

Daniel purses his lips together. He’s never been the one to take seriously any of George’s visions, but recently he started paying more attention. He once joked that it’s a sign of him maturing, but Max knows that the truth is somewhere deeper. ‘Since George’s visions became all bloody with not a single good thing happening in them,’ Daniel mutters, not meeting his gaze. ‘And if I haven’t missed anything from his visions then the only constant thing is Oscar being there with Lando. So-‘

‘What if he’s there to hurt him?’ Max questions, voicing out his biggest fear. ‘To betray him? What if it’s all a big ploy from these fucking Elders? Or those antis?’

Daniel turns to him and for once he looks dead serious. ‘If it ends up being true then we will be there to hunt him down and make him pay.’

Max breathes in. Sometimes he gets this ridiculous urge to find the body of that rogue wolf so he can glue his body back together just so he can rip him apart on his own for hurting Lando. ‘You’re telling me to wait, basically.’

‘I’m telling you to let it go,’ Daniel corrects. ‘Maybe we can ask George if he saw something in his visions, but I’m like hundred percent sure that these two are mates.’

‘Oscar is a beta,’ Max reminds him.

‘Won’t be the first non-traditional pairing in our pack, would it?’ Daniel asks, clearly hinting on Kevin and Nico, who are both alphas and are happily mated for many years. ‘Anyways, it’s just a thought, I don’t know for sure. We’ll have to wait and see. And what about you and that pretty omega?’

Max hardens, his face shuts off. He doesn’t like talking about Charles even though he hardly talks about him in the first place. There’s nothing really to say there – Charles is beautiful, an exquisite temptation that will stay exactly like that – a temptation. ‘Nothing.’

Daniel hums noncommittally. ‘I mean, it could be something.’

Max thinks of Charles, of his full of awe eyes as he stares at him and knows that nothing will ever work out. Not when Charles doesn’t really know the real Max, hasn’t see him furious, hasn’t seen him after the battle. Not when Charles never experienced alpha’s command on himself, because he doesn’t believe in statuses or hierarchies. Charles could never understand someone like Max, who represents everything archaic about their kind. Max doesn’t think he’ll bear this omega calling him ‘freak’ like all these antis.

‘It couldn’t.’ His tone makes it clear that this is the end of this conversation. ‘I will discuss the early attack from our side with Lewis and Kevin. If we are doing it then we’re doing it on our terms only and we’ll need people from this South pack as well.’

Daniel nods, easily accepting topic change. ‘I’m here if you need anything.’

Just stay. Stay with me, beside me, next to Lando. Stay. That’s all I need. Saying this out loud is too much for Max, so he phrases it differently, hoping that Daniel will understand: ‘Keep on reminding me of important things, Dan. That’s all I need from you.’ Max squeezes Daniel’s hand briefly. ‘Don’t let me forget.’

Daniel squeezes back with a soft smile. ‘Will be done, Maxy. Don’t worry about it.’

They walk back to the village slowly, letting the sun warm their backs as it rose.

=+=

Oscar wakes up to the sound of a quiet giggle. It bounces off the walls, sips into his heart warmly and gently rouses him from the sleep. After so many nights of only hearing ragged Lando’s breathing and pained groans, waking up to something filled with joy feels almost surreal. Slowly sitting up Oscar yawns, rubbing his eyes. The house is quiet, but not the stilled and eerie kind; more of a peaceful quietness that comes with early mornings, when day comes in and snatches away all the fear and darkness that lurked in the corners. Oscar’s head feels a bit heavy, but he’s awake enough to notice Kai’s absence from his side of the made-up bed and he tenses, listening in. When another breathy giggle breaks the silence, he stands up, quietly padding to Lando’s room where the sound is coming from.

The sight that greets him when he carefully nudges the door open makes him freeze on tracks. Kai is on Lando’s bed, cuddled to his right side. The pup is drawing patterns on alpha’s face with his fingers, giggling and when Lando’s nose scrunches up in response. Lando’s hand is wrapped tightly around Kai, holding him close as alpha himself gazes at him lovingly, making exaggerated faces when Kai pulls at his eyebrows or tries to push fingers into his nose. When Kai squirms even closer and starts playing with alpha’s hair, pulling at his curls playfully, Lando only smiles and tilts his head to the side, giving more access. Oscar takes a shuddery breath, suddenly feeling like his ribs are closing in on his lungs. The whole room smells… content. Fresh apples from Kai and sea salt from Lando remind Oscar of a beach picnic by the sea on a sunny day – his heart squeezes in his chest.

‘Laaaan,’ Kai whines, when alpha starts peppering his face with kisses. Kai tries to push alpha away and almost falls from the bed in the process if it wasn’t for Lando’s tight grip on him. ‘You- Oscar!’

Oscar blinks when two pairs of eyes focus on him. He almost feels like an intruder for a moment, wanting to turn and rush back, because he doesn’t belong in this warm bubble, he doesn’t deserve-

‘Osc,’ Lando calls quietly, staring at him like he knows exactly what’s happening in beta’s head. ‘Come here, baby.’

Baby. Oscar swallows. His throat works, the unsaid words of ‘I don’t want to interrupt’ get stuck as Lando’s eyes pull him in. It’s comical how hard it is to just take one step, to lift his leg and cross the room, take a step into this warm bubble and leave everything else behind. His mind screams at him to go, to leave. Yes, Lando called him his, kissed him like he meant it, but-

‘Oscar!’ Kai makes grabby hands. ‘Why are you not coming?’

‘Yeah, Oscar,’ Lando says, looking at him sharply. ‘Why are you not coming?’

Because it’s scary. Because I want this so much that it scares me. Can I want this? Am I allowed to want this, to have this? Oscar gulps, clenching his fists. It’s unbearable how his mind always seems to twist everything and make him second-guess every decision; he chose Lando. He did. And Lando chose him. Oscar wets his lips and takes a calming breath. He forcefully turns direction of his thoughts to a different place, making them focus on how Lando is calling out for him, how Lando wants him to come closer, how he is waiting for Oscar to make a move. It should be enough. It should be more than enough for Oscar, but why isn’t it?

Kai frowns, feeling something off. ‘Oscar?’ His voice wobbles a little, confusion written all over his face. He looks at Lando then: ‘Lando, why is he not coming?’

Lando doesn’t spare pup a glance, laser focused on Oscar. His eyes burn holes in Oscar’s face with the intensity of the gaze. ‘Give him a minute, Kai,’ he mutters.

It feels like a never-ending battle with his own mind – to allow himself to be wanted. To be loved. That one step inside feels like a full-on challenge, like Oscar must jump through burning rings and lakes full of alligators to get to another side. His mind continues to conjure up most ridiculous images, when suddenly a familiar scent reaches out to him. Lando used to be careful and cautious with him about it before, but now his scent wraps around Oscar with no hesitation, intertwining with his forcefully at first. It settles on Oscar’s shoulders like a warm blanket, like a reminder that he is Lando’s and that Lando wants him. When he meets alpha’s gaze he shivers at the unrestrained affection swimming in those hazel orbs, so sure and confident like he knows Oscar will make the right decision. And when Oscar shakily closes the door behind himself and takes a step forward, these eyes light up in joy and satisfaction.

‘Was it really very hard?’ Lando asks when Oscar finally settles next to Kai, who instantly plops himself on Lando’s chest to give beta place to lie down.

‘Kai, no, lean on me instead, Lando’s left side can’t take your weight,’ Oscar pulls the pup back on his chest. He moves, feeling Lando’s hand sneaking around his waist. When he turns to look at alpha, he doesn’t see anger or frustration in his eyes; just desire to understand. ‘I- yes. It’s…’

Hard to explain, hard to put into words, hard to let it out without sounding like a complete maniac. Oscar doesn’t know if he’s ready to let Lando in this close, to let alpha see all of his insecure and ugly parts that usually are hidden from others. Lando waits for a bit, but when it becomes clear that Oscar is not about to start explaining, he sighs, leaning in to touch their foreheads together. ‘I’d kill to know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.’

Oscar snorts. ‘Nothing that exciting, I assure you.’ He swallows and quieter adds: ‘Only loads of overthinking.’

Lando hums. ‘About us?’

‘About everything,’ Oscar answers, rubbing circles on Kai’s back. ‘But lately mostly about us, yeah.’ Lando’s mouth stretches into a smile and Oscar raises his eyebrow at this: ‘What are you smiling for?’

‘Just. Good to know that you think about us. That there is ‘us’ in your head. Already feels like a win for me, to be honest.’

It’s disarmingly sweet; Oscar’s not sure what to say. He doesn’t know what to do with Lando’s honesty apart from holding it close to his heart, branding it into his skull so he can relive this moment in his memories later on. ‘You already got me,’ Oscar mutters quietly, because it’s true. He doesn’t think Lando understands how exactly true this statement is. ‘There’s nothing to win anymore.’

‘Doesn’t feel like it though,’ Lando says thoughtfully. ‘Like- I got you, but not full of you. Not yet, anyway.’

And it’s also true, Oscar supposes. You can’t have someone when you don’t know all of them and they both have a lot to catch up on in this area. Oscar doesn’t say anything on it, focusing his attention on the pup on his chest. Kai stayed quiet this entire time, intuitively understanding that he shouldn’t interrupt, but his patience is short, and he’s tired of not having attention on himself. ‘Lando,’ pup calls a bit petulantly, knowing that this tone will get him anything he wants, ‘I want to go out. When will you feel better?’

‘You can go out,’ Lando instantly replies, turning from Oscar to the pup. ‘Just stay out of the woods, yeah?’

‘But I want to go with you.’ Kai’s eyes do this thing when they get all big and round and teary and Oscar barely suppresses a chuckle. North or South, all pups have the same dirty tricks, after all. ‘When we can go and hunt?’

‘In a week,’ Lando says so surely that Oscar eyes him suspiciously. ‘In a week you and I will be hunting. But for now, you can go and play with other pups, you don’t have to always stay here. You’re probably bored out of your mind, huh?’

Kai doesn’t stay for long; his mind already blurred all the memories of finding Lando covered in blood on the cliffs. He cuddles to alpha for one last time before sprinting to the living room to get properly dressed and rush to his friends. With a promise to be back after dinner, Kai is out of their sight in a blink, making Lando huff incredulously. He stretches and sits up, carefully wrapping one arm around his side.

‘In a week, huh? Was that approved with Jon?’ Oscar asks, helping Lando stand up. ‘You sounded very confident.’

In the past three days Lando did get better, there’s no doubt in that. His appetite returned, sitting up stopped being a gruesome task and he started walking little by little. Jon did note that Lando’s usually very quick with healing, but everyone could also see how alpha was clearly pushing himself to heal faster. Oscar suspected that certain anxiety for being bedridden gnawed on Lando’s mind, but he didn’t know whether it was his place to say something on it or not.

‘I have to,’ Lando states, moving towards the kitchen without Oscar’s help. He stands tall but by the time he reaches the kitchen there’s sweat glistening on his forehead from the strain of muscles. ‘Can’t just lie around and be useless.’

‘You’re not useless,’ Oscar frowns, wincing as Lando almost falls on the chair. ‘Lando-‘

‘I’m fine!’ Alpha cuts off a bit angrily. He adjusts on the seat, sighing. ‘I’m fine, Oscar. No need to look at me like I might break.’

But you did, Oscar wants to say but he swallows those words back. Many people tried to knock some sense in Lando: from his parents to friends and healers. Everyone asked him to take it easy and slow; Lando nodded along to everything, smiled and still did his own thing. Oscar’s pretty sure he shouldn’t find this attractive, but oh well.

‘You should call your mom to come over,’ Lando suddenly says, mouthing ‘thank you’ when Oscar puts a steaming bowl of stew in front of him. ‘So I could thank her properly.’

‘Already trying to meet my mom? We’re moving fast, huh.’ Oscar tries to laugh it off.

‘Without her I’d probably be dead, so yeah, I’d like to meet her,’ Lando shrugs.

It astonishes Oscar how casual Lando is about the whole ordeal of narrowly escaping death. He doesn’t look like he’s overthinking the whole incident, which is so bizarre that Oscar is not even sure how to react. It’s like it happened and Lando moved on, brushing it off like a regular thing, nothing big to dwell on. He’s fully focused on recovery mode and past is past for him, his sight is set on the future already. Maybe this is what Oscar needs to learn – to let go, to treat past for exactly what it is - a past.

‘My mother is from the North,’ Oscar starts, sitting in front of Lando. ‘I grew up with all the traditions from the North, with all the scenting and transforming into wolf.’

He doesn’t know why he says it - maybe just to fill the silence or because the weight of unsaid words is smashing his chest – whatever the reason is, he finds himself staring in Lando’s wide with delight eyes and it gives him a strength to keep going, seeing Lando’s interest. So, Oscar starts talking about his childhood. He tells Lando how him and Mae were always the best with each other, because her caring self made it so easy to love her. He recounts numerous fights with Hattie over pretty much everything: from a broken toy to the last piece of strawberry. He gets quieter when he talks about Edie, because she was their little duckling, getting doted on by everyone.

‘What happened to them?’ Lando asks, pushing the bowl away. He sits entranced, fully giving Oscar all of his attention.

Oscar purses his lips. Everyone said that time will erase the pain but its bullshit, time doesn’t erase a thing. It dulls the pain, cuts the sharp angles of it, but it doesn’t erase it. Oscar thinks nothing ever will. There was a time when he used to think that if someone cut him in two then he’d bleed grief and nothing else. For such a long-time grief was everything he was, he consisted of it, became one with it, let it consume his whole being. For a while it felt like it was going to stay this way forever. Even after so many years talking about it makes Oscar feel a little nauseous.

‘They planned this big trip to the West, wanted to see the other side. The ships arrived, they boarded one of them, me and mom stayed behind. And then…’ Oscar pauses, swallowing. He hasn’t talked about it in recent years and now the words feel foreign on his tongue. ‘And then the sea happened.’

Something dark passes on Lando’s face. ‘Storm?’

Oscar shrugs. ‘Most likely. Their ship never arrived at the West.’

‘How’d you know?’ Lando asks and then he stills, eyes zeroing on Oscar’s neck. ‘Oh.’

‘Yeah, oh.’ Oscar nods, chuckling humorlessly.

He relives this moment in his nightmares sometimes – waking up to an awful screeching sound only to realize that it’s his mother screaming. To watch with his own eyes as her mating bite turns purple and then black, burning in a way that had her mother wailing on the bed, delirious with pain. ‘It’s been ten years,’ Oscar says at last. ‘I’ve avoided the sea since then.’

Lando doesn’t say anything for a while. Losing someone is not a new topic, almost every single person in the village has gone through some kind of loss, so everyone knows how bad it hurts. Oscar doesn’t even expect alpha to say anything, he just wanted to share something personal about himself in hopes that Lando will do the same. Some part of Oscar hopes that maybe sharing these bits of himself will help Lando get inside his head and tackle his demons. Facing them with Lando would make everything easier.

‘And my scent…’ Lando starts, chewing on his bottom lip nervously.

Oscar doesn’t shy away from the answer: ‘Hated it at first. It reminded me of the one thing I hated the most, of the sea that took everyone from me.’

Lando nods like he understands even though he probably doesn’t. He plays with the spoon in his fingers, looking almost afraid as he whispers: ‘And now?’

Oscar smiles. He can tell how important this question is for alpha, because Lando is barely breathing across from him. ‘And now it’s my favorite thing, because it reminds me of everything good that happened – picnics on the beach, sunny days spent playing on the sand with my family.’

The Gods have their own sick sense of humor, giving Oscar everything he wanted in form of Lando, who smells like something that took away everything Oscar loved. He thinks there’s some irony in there, but he doesn’t dwell on it. In the end he got Lando and that is more than he thinks he deserves. Lando suddenly moves his chair and stands up, clutching at the table for support. Oscar watches as alpha takes two steps towards him and then pauses, opening his arms wide.

Oscar’s heart soars. ‘Emotional support hugs?’

‘Come here, Osc.’

He comes. He can’t not to, refuses to even think of ever rejecting Lando again. It’s so much easier to just let Lando have him, let himself fall into his arms and bury his head in untamed curls and breathe Lando in. It’s oddly calming to hold and be held in such a tender way; Oscar had no idea how much he longed for something like this, but now that he has it, he never wants this to end.

‘There are pretty pink flowers where I’m from,’ Lando whispers, holding Oscar tightly. ‘Bright pink, they always grow only close to the sea. Called sea thrifts, my favorites. You smell like them.’ He turns, brushing Oscar’s ear with the tip of his nose. ‘You smell like everything good from my memories, everything I hold dear to my heart.’ Lando leaves a small kiss on Oscar’s shell of the ear, making beta involuntarily shiver. ‘You smell like home.’

‘Oh,’ Oscar breathes out, stunned.

No one ever said that to him. He didn’t know people can smell like home and the knowledge that this is how Lando perceives his scent makes his heart burst with thousands of emotions. ‘Let’s go back to bed, yeah?’ Lando leans back to take a good look at him. His expression is soft, and he traces Oscar’s face with his eyes, smiling. ‘My turn to talk about my childhood, I guess.’

It doesn’t feel forced. Lying with Lando on his bed, listening to him recount different childhood stories of George and then later of Max and Daniel doesn’t feel forced. On the contrary, it feels like Oscar found a place for him to stay – cuddled to Lando’s right side with alpha’s hand around his shoulders and their legs tangled. Lando’s voice drops to this relaxing murmur when he talks about his loved ones and Oscar listens attentively, feeling honored for being able to hear all of this from Lando himself.

‘It’s you, isn’t it?’ Oscar asks after Lando tells him about George and his visions. ‘The alpha in North pack who was chosen by God Tano himself.’

Lando stiffens lightly, nodding. Oscar hums; he had a feeling it’d be true. ‘The sea is not a monster,’ Lando says after a while, caressing Oscar’s skin tenderly. ‘Not always, at least.’

Oscar doesn’t reply. He doesn’t believe in this, and he doesn’t agree with Lando, but he doesn’t want to argue or fight. ‘Maybe,’ he offers. ‘It can’t be that bad if it chose you.’

Lando’s grip on him tightens just a fraction. Dry lips seal a kiss on his forehead. Oscar closes his eyes and tries not to think about the sea or what it took from him. He focuses on Lando’s steady breathing instead.

=+=

Oscar knows that something is wrong the second he enters the house. Carefully putting bag with ointments from his mother on the floor, he listens closely to the ragged breathing that echoes in the otherwise silent space. Frowning, Oscar quietly pads to the living room and then to the kitchen, not finding any reason to panic yet. He finds Lando in his room, hunched over his bed, panting like he ran a mile. His naked upper body glistens with sweat and Oscar stands, transfixed on the way alpha’s chest rises and falls in tandem with his breathing. His eyes stare stubbornly focused on his face, refusing to look at the miles and miles of tanned skin even though his fingers are twitching with desire to touch. Lando pushes himself up, exhaling loudly and turning to look at Oscar. Even his hair is wet, curls hanging limply by the sides, half covering his forehead fully. He wets his lips and Oscar tries not to fidget at the obvious once-over alpha does, eyes raking from Oscar’s head to the toes.

‘Tell me you didn’t actually run,’ Oscar says, voice laced with skepticism. ‘I don’t think Jon would’ve appreciated your enthusiasm here.’

‘I didn’t run, too weak for that.’ Lando answers, sounding harsh. It’s clear that physical restrictions are weighing on him. ‘Too fucking weak even to stay up for some hours too.’

Oscar stills, hoping he misheard. No fucking way. ‘Lando,’ he calls sternly with the same voice he uses on little pups when he’s about to scold them, ‘tell me you didn’t try to stay up for hours.’

Lando runs his fingers through his hair, groaning in frustration. He chuckles humorlessly: ‘I did. And guess what? I failed. Walked for thirty minutes and then tried to do small stretches and almost fucking killed myself.’ Lando shakes his head, sounding rough as he admits: ‘So fucking pathetic.’

Why? Why are you punishing yourself? Oscar purses his lips into a thin line, doubting if he should voice these questions out loud. We all have our demons and Lando’s seem to all revolve around his ability to serve the pack, him being ‘useful’. Oscar wonders how Lando can’t see how strong he is, coming back from the fight and standing here now, alive and breathing. How can one’s life matter so little to them?

‘You’re not pathetic,’ Oscar says surely, hoping confidence in his voice can break through alpha’s wall of criticism. ‘You came back from something almost fatal; you’re healing faster than predicted and predictions were already ambitious. You’re unbelievably strong, Lando. And equally stupid for trying to do stretches when you’re still bandaged.’

The last part makes the corner of alpha’s mouth quirk up. Oscar relishes this gesture because it’s something, a small sign of Lando listening to him and maybe, just maybe, hearing him. Is this what Lily felt when Oscar used to beat himself up? Because now he can tell how awful it is to watch someone you care for be harsh on themselves. Now he knows and he can’t stand it, wants to shake Lando up and knock some sense into his head. Or just stay close and whisper all the reassurances until alpha doesn’t believe in them, until they don’t become his truth and the only way of thinking.

‘I thought I’d be good, it almost healed.’ Lando carefully peels the bandage away, revealing purple-ish bruise on the left side with light pink scar all over it. The skin is obviously tender and when Lando presses a little he hisses, pulling his fingers back. ‘Shit.’

Oscar is instantly on his feet, closing the distance between them in a blink of an eye, drawn by the worry. ‘Hurts a lot? Should I go get Jon? Or-‘

It doesn’t strike him at first how close to Lando he’s gotten. He only realizes it when by the turn of his head his nose bumps on alpha’s temple. His fingers freeze where they’ve been gently caressing the scar, and his pulse quickens at the assault of Lando’s scent in his nose. Alpha smells much stronger up close, his own scent mixed with sweat; it’s so heavy around him that Oscar thinks he can taste it on his tongue. Lando smells good on any day, but this close and with sweat mingling, it makes Oscar lick his lips absentmindedly, finding this combination weirdly irresistible. He doesn’t look at Lando, afraid to catch his eyes and see his own desire reflect back on him; he looks at his left side instead, slowly tracing the scar with his two fingers. Lando tenses slightly, his core instantly makes all the muscles protrude and Oscar swallows. They already kissed, so it’s unexplainable why just standing right now next to Lando makes him nervous. When alpha’s much bigger hand covers his, Oscar finally looks up, getting nose to nose with Lando.

‘Doesn’t hurt,’ Lando whispers and his breath fans over Oscar’s skin. Alpha’s fingers tighten, encompassing Oscar’s hand completely in his own. ‘Not when you touch it.’

Lando closes the gap between them slowly, giving Oscar all the time to pull away. He doesn’t though, only meets alpha in the middle. Oscar has never been kissed like that, so thoroughly and deeply. Lando doesn’t give him a chance to even try to take control, he simply dives in and takes, takes, takes. And Oscar gives willingly, follows his lead, melts into him with a helpless sigh because he’s not strong enough to resist this. He’ll give Lando anything as long as Lando continues taking, as long as he’ll need him.

Lando’s hands move to his hips, gripping them tightly and this gesture kickstarts Oscar’s brain, making him lean back much to alpha’s displeasure. ‘I- we need to-‘ It’s’ unbelievably hard to find words when Lando is licking the shell of his ear, biting then at his earlobe gently. ‘Lando, wait, you-‘ Oscar pushes a little at alpha’s chest, ignoring how sweaty, warm, solid it feels beneath his palms. Shit. ‘You, um. Need to take a bath.’

He doesn’t know why his brain thinks it’s an appropriate thing to say at that moment, but Lando doesn’t seem to mind. He only hums, peppering kisses down Oscar’s cheek to his jaw. ‘Come with me.’

The goosebumps erupt down his whole body. ‘To the bath?’

Lando huffs a laugh, biting playfully at his chin. When he looks at Oscar, his eyes are shining with mirth, sparkling like diamonds. ‘Yes, Oscar. To the bath.’

Lando watches him steadily, not adding anything else. His hands are still on Oscar’s hips and Oscar knows he can say ‘no’, knows he can take a step back but the thought of not feeling Lando’s hands on him sends a nervous jolt down his spine that he doesn’t like. The unspoken words are flowing in the air, but Oscar’s not brave enough to voice them and Lando doesn’t look like he’s about to say anything else too. Oscar has never taken a bath with a man and he’s pretty sure Lando knows it and even if he didn’t, he’ll guess it by the way Oscar’s body trembles a little at the just thought of seeing Lando completely naked in a setting that does not involve alpha dying from excessive bleeding.

‘You don’t have to,’ Lando whispers, thumbs drawing circles on Oscar’s hips above his pants, ‘if you don’t want it.’

Oscar exhales through his nose, dragging a hand down his face. The problem is not in him wanting it – shit, he probably wants anything Lando can give him more than it should be humanly possible. The problem is in allowing himself to have it, admitting the desire that runs through his veins like blood. Lando doesn’t press, just watches him with his impossibly beautiful eyes and-

‘I want it,’ Oscar breathes out, feeling like he’s letting Lando in some secret.

Lando’s answering smile is blinding. He looks like Oscar just proposed to him to have the world and when he presses a kiss to beta’s lips, it’s slightly mismatched, just a bit off-center and the giddiness of alpha makes Oscar smile back. If he thinks about then Lando really makes it easy to make decisions that scare the shit out of Oscar. He catalogues that thought for later though, following alpha’s lead.

The bath is already filled, probably a courtesy of Jon, who comes by every day, checking on Lando and preparing everything he might need.

‘It’s definitely cold, Jon prepared it at lunch,’ Lando says, letting go of Oscar’s hand. ‘You mind?’

‘Do you?’ Oscar asks, hovering unsurely. ‘We can heat it up if you want.’

Lando just stares pointedly at Oscar with a raised eyebrow. ‘Do you want to heat it up? I’ve taken cold, icy baths all my life, Oscar.’ Right. People in the North are not that spoiled. ‘Besides, cold water is better for the left side. Anything warm irritates the skin more.’

‘Cold it is then.’ Oscar pauses, when Lando starts taking off his pants. ‘Uh-‘

They haven’t discussed what exactly Oscar’s role here and he doesn’t want to presume. His best guess is that he’s here to help, cause it’s still hard to take a bath on your own for Lando as his moves are limited; but when alpha, stark naked, climbs into the bath and asks him to come in with him, Oscar is left speechless.

‘We’ll fit,’ Lando assures him kindly.

Oscar knows they will, the old bathtubs used to be big to fit several pups and an adult in them. That’s not what has his gears turning in his brain and blood flooding south. ‘With you?’ Oscar asks when his tongue remembers how to move.

Lando nods, looking vaguely confused. ‘Yes? You said you wanted to.’

Oh. Oh. Oscar wants to slap himself on the forehead and never presume anything again. He wants to explain everything to Lando and tell him how he never meant actually bathing together, but when Lando looks up at him with his absurdly long eyelashes and stretches a hand out, beckoning him to come closer, he’s powerless to do anything other than just nod. The concept of nudity is not a scary one and Oscar refuses to dwell on it at all; he strips in the most unsexy way and avoids alpha’s gaze at all, wanting to just get it done with. He thinks he’ll chicken out if he gives even a second of thought to how he looks like naked, or how this is the first time he’s getting into a bathtub with another man. Oscar is self-aware enough to know that there’s nothing to gawk at in his body, it’s far from whatever people salivate to in their minds, so he focuses on suppressing the shivers as he climbs in. The small groan still escapes his mouth when he lowers himself to the cold water in one go, trying his best not to splash anything on the ground. ‘It’s- fuck, so cold.’

When there’s no reply and the atmosphere turns awkward, Oscar looks up. Lando’s gaze arrests him instantly: the sea foam of his eyes darkened, the focus intense and sharp. Alpha’s gaze sweeps down his neck to his shoulders, stays too long on Oscar’s chest and then dips underwater to the rest of his body. And Oscar, to his embarrassment, is blushing. The blush travels all the way down to his chest and only intensifies when Lando’s scent spikes up in the room. Alpha reaches out underwater and grabs Oscar’s ankle, tugging it firmer to his side. All beta’s efforts to prevent their bodies from touching fly out of the roof as Lando practically pushes him closer, circling his ankle in his grasp. ‘Lando-‘

Whatever Oscar wanted to say dies out on his tongue, when alpha presses his thumb into the ridge of his foot. It sends an electric zip down Oscar’s spine from surprise and has his hands flying out to grab the edge of the bathtub, needing something real to ground him. Lando is not even looking at him, fully focused on massaging Oscar’s foot. It should maybe feel awkward, but pleasure builds in the pit of his stomach like a low burning fire, warming him from inside. No one ever massaged his feet. No one ever treated any part of him with such reverence, such care. It makes something in Oscar’s chest tighten and his knuckles turn white from how hard he’s gripping the edges. This – whatever this is – unlocks new ache in Oscar.

He shifts when Lando pulls his foot out of the water, massaging his toes before suddenly leaning in and leaving a small kiss on the heel. High keen that escapes Oscar’s mouth makes both of them freeze: Oscar from mortification and Lando from surprise. Oscar’s heart is at his throat; he’s so mortified from the way he sounded that he thinks this water is going to turn warm just out of the way shame heats up his body. Lando looks at him with wide eyes and parted lips, something primal passing his features and Oscar can’t take it. Gripping the edges, he tries to pry his foot out of alpha’s hands but doesn’t succeed. Lando tightens his hold and looking Oscar dead in the eye leans in again, placing another kiss this time on Oscar’s big toe. ‘Oh- Lando, fuck.’ Oscar scrambles for purchase, realizing that his breathing is labored just from… this. ‘Please, don’t-‘

‘Don’t?’ Lando cuts him off, raising his eyebrow. His scent thickens so much in this small room that Oscar can’t help but take a big breath, letting it flood his lungs. ‘But you like it.’

Oscar doesn’t know what to do with himself. He wants to jump out of this bathtub and run away, wants to present his other foot to Lando and make him massage it too; his thoughts go haywire from want. His fingers drum restlessly at the edge, a staccato beat that fills the silence between them, cuts the tension like a knife. This bathtub is not small, but Oscar feels like there’s no space between him and Lando with all the way they’re touching now: alpha’s legs stretched fully, caging Oscar in between, his bony knees touching Oscar’s thighs. He’s hairless, Oscar notices belatedly. Lando’s legs are smooth as butter, which is a far cry from Oscar’s hairy thighs and legs and-

‘Oscar,’ Lando calls gently, but commanding. Oscar expects anything but not the concerned: ‘Are you cold?’ Lando lowers Oscar’s foot back in the water and grabs his another leg, caressing his skin slowly. When he repeats his question, Oscar can only nod, too focused on the pure heat that radiates from alpha’s touch. Lando nods and reaches out with his hand towards him: ‘Come to me, then. You’ll be warmer.’

Oscar, whose knees were tucked to his chest, is suddenly aware of the dull thumping sound in the room. It takes him three seconds to realize that it’s the sound of his own heartbeat. Lando’s outstretched hand is an apple that seduced Eve – the most delicious proposal, the one that’s hard to resist – and Oscar doesn’t. His fingers tremble only slightly when he clasps Lando’s hand. He can see approval clear as a starless sky in Lando’s eyes and it sends something hot down to the pit of his stomach.

‘Just like that,’ Lando murmurs appreciatively, when Oscar turns to him with his back. ‘Closer, Osc.’

It’s a tight fit. Oscar is not a petite girl who can easily fall into Lando’s arms; he’s rather tall and a bit lanky and his thighs are big, but when Lando wraps a hand around his torso and presses him back, Oscar falls onto him surprisingly easy. His back presses on alpha’s chest, they are touching everywhere, and Oscar bites his lower lip hard enough to make it bleed when he feels Lando’s cock behind him. Heavy and hard.

‘Relax,’ Lando whispers into his ear, pushing Oscar and urging him to lie back. ‘Just relax, Oscar.’

It’s impossible to do so. Oscar is so painfully aware of Lando’s arousal, of the way his scent is getting heavier, of his own answering arousal, shimmering brightly and obvious on the surface. He’s never been with the man. He never got aroused because of the man, but his cock is hard, and Oscar thinks just touching it lightly will make the tip leak. He’s not usually quick with these kinds of reactions, it takes time for him to build up the desire, but with Lando it’s different. Everything is different with Lando, for better or for worse.

He doesn’t know whether he should be embarrassed for being hard over practically nothing. But Lando’s scent and the foot massage and the way Lando looks at him has been enough. Enough to stir him on, to has him squirming and breathing heavily. And Lando’s obvious arousal only clouds his mind further, because how did he manage to create that response? With his pale skin, not muscular build and obvious inexperience in same sex relationships?

‘That head of yours is so loud,’ Lando says in a low voice. His fingers skim Oscar’ waist, the heat that radiates from his body is too alluring for Oscar not to lean back further. ‘Yeah, that’s it, baby. It’s just me, Osc. Relax. Look at me, baby.’

Oscar has to crane his neck in an uncomfortable angle to take a look at the alpha and when he does, he lets out a surprised groan at being instantly pulled into a kiss. Lando doesn’t give him time to adjust, he licks dirtily into his mouth and pulls out a high moan from Oscar, which alpha drinks in. Lando kisses with no remorse, on a mission to make Oscar forget all he was thinking about, one swipe of a tongue at a time. Oscar kisses back messily, a bit uncoordinated due to the angle, but Lando still hums appreciatively, pressing Oscar tighter on himself. He steals all the oxygen from beta’s lungs and doesn’t let him have it, kisses Oscar until he’s physically pulling away to grasp for air. And he doesn’t stop there. Bite on the ear, bite on the jaw, kiss on the cheek – Lando covers anywhere he can reach with his mouth. He presses his palm flat up Oscar’s stomach, going up to touch his chest, skimming past his nipples and smirking at the noise beta lets out at this.

Oscar is panting. He hides his face in alpha’s neck and lets out a broken moan at getting the access to his scent gland, the one Lando always seems to pull him away from. It smells divine. It makes Oscar’s mouth water with desire to bite, it makes ache in his chest grow ten times and cover his entire heart, makes fog in his brain turn thicker. He knows what’s happening and for the first time Lando doesn’t stop him, only tilts his head closer to Oscar, hisses when beta licks at his skin. ‘Go on,’ he urges softly, tracing his hand up until it settles comfortably on Oscar’s neck. ‘Take your fill. You can, baby. My Osc.’

Oscar is his, yeah.

Once he takes a lungful of pure, undiluted Lando’s scent, Oscar can’t stop. Can’t stop licking and biting at the scent gland, can’t stop making those tiny, aborted noises, can’t stop tugging at Lando’s ridiculous curls. It’s like out of body experience when his soul leaves his body and he watches everything from above. If he had at least an ounce of shame he’d stop. He’d stop himself from arching off to find Lando’s lips, stop himself from melting and tensing under alpha’s touch at the same time. He’s not even kissing Lando, just pants into his mouth as large hands map his body with curiosity and barely suppressed desire.

‘Smells that good, huh?’ Lando’s lips skim past his nose and eyebrows, land on his temple with a feverish heat: ‘If only you knew, Osc. It’s nothing compared to how you smell, baby.’

To prove it Lando bucks his hips slightly, making Oscar jerk from the way his hard cock slides past his ass. Lando’s fingers dig almost painfully into his hip, while his other hand moves to tentatively rest above Oscar’s neck, not pressing. It’s enough to have Oscar gasping for breath, finally registering his own scent in the room, bright and equally heavy with arousal. It shocks Oscar to the point of panicking: how much he wants. Want this, wants this with a man, wants this with Lando. The weight of desire is unbearable, it’s too heavy on his chest and Oscar trembles under it. ‘Lando,’ he lets out. He doesn’t know what to say, just wants to have alpha’s name on his tongue. ‘Lando.’

‘Can I?’ Lando asks and his voice shakes a little, his patience fried at the edges. His hand travels lower from Oscar’s hips, tickling his inner thigh. ‘Oscar, please. Fuck, baby. Need to touch you so bad.’

It probably says a lot of how fucked up Oscar is if it only makes him harder. The desperation oozing from alpha opens a black hole inside of him, the one that cannot be filled, the one that’s full of Oscar’s desires. It drives him crazy to know that Lando wants him, wants him so much that he can’t stop himself from rutting his hips a little at Oscar’s backside. He barely thinks before covering Lando’s hand with his own and moving it to where he needs it the most. Oscar is leaking and when Lando’s hand obediently squeezes his shaft, he arches off his chest, shocked. He knew it was coming, he was the one to initiate the contact and it still shocks him to have another man’s hand on his cock. The nerves don’t appear because Lando starts stroking him slowly and the way alpha’s hand covers his cock fully makes Oscar let out muffled sobs. He’s wound so tight, his body a mess of open nerve endings that light up whenever Lando thumbs at his head or squeezes the base slightly.

‘Ah, ah-‘ Oscar can’t seem to shut up. The steady stream of noises coming out of his mouth should surprise because he’s never been exactly vocal in bed, but he can’t care about it enough, not when Lando’s callouses on hands make everything feel much, much better. His eyes roll back when alpha starts pumping him at earnest. ‘Lando-‘

‘Yeah?’ Lando sounds out of breath like he is the one who’s getting his cock touched, like he’s the one most affected by it all. He turns his head and messily licks at Oscar’s temple. ‘You feel so good, Osc. Smell fucking fantastic, fuck.’

It’s too much. The realization that he’s going to come makes panic rise in Oscar’s chest, sharp and painful. He arches off, tries to move away from the touch but Lando doesn’t let him, holds him close and moves his other hand from Oscar’s chest down to cup his balls, making beta whine loudly. ‘Lando, wait-‘ Oscar manages to whimper, even when his hips are canting up, fucking into alpha’s fist on their own accord. ‘I’m gonna come, it’s too much-‘

‘Fuck, already?’ Lando sounds astonished and groans lowly into his ear like it’s the hottest thing he ever heard instead of it being embarrassing. ‘Do it, Osc. Come, baby, you can do it.’

Embarrassed at being this affected by it all, Oscar hides his face in alpha’s neck, biting at his scent gland. Lando smells like the beginning of the storm, strong and heady, like Oscar is standing in the water and is about to let a huge wave come over him. He whimpers as Lando’s hand speeds up and when his other hand moves past his balls and gently presses his thumb to the place where no one ever touched Oscar – he chokes on a broken cry he lets out. Oscar is coming before he even realizes that it’s happening. The sensation is so foreign at first, it takes few moments for his mind to catch up. Oscar distinctly hears a shout and realizes it’s him, his hoarse voice filling the room as ropes of cum shoot into the water and some it lands on top of his chest. His heart hammers loudly and it’s the only thing he can hear before the ringing in his ears subdues and he acknowledges sweet whispers of Lando, something along the line of how good he is, how hot. He shudders in alpha’s hold and whines at the oversensitivity when Lando continues pumping him even after he came. Oscar settles, feeling half out of his mind with what just happened. He wasn’t intimate with someone in so many years that the thought of Lando – a man, an alpha – making him come is almost delirious. His body sags, sated and that’s why Oscar almost jumps out of the water when he feels Lando trace his rim teasingly.

‘Shh,’ alpha shushes him and nudges Oscar until they are looking at each other. ‘It’s okay, Osc. Just me, yeah?’

Oscar swallows. It’s hard to put thoughts together after an orgasm but he tries: ‘Lando, I’ve never…’ he trails off, knowing that alpha will understand.

He doesn’t know what he expects, but the punched-out noise that leaves Lando on his admission is not it. He pushes their foreheads together, sounding like he’s been gutted while whispering: ‘And you’ll let me be the first, yeah? Oscar, you will, right? You are mine. You said it yourself. You are mine.’

Lando looks like he’s three seconds away from begging and Oscar’s cock twitches involuntarily at this thought. He can’t look away, can’t even deny it because everything what Lando’s saying is true. He is his. Of course he will let him be first. Oscar belatedly realizes that he’ll let Lando do anything.

‘My Oscar,’ Lando breathes out into his mouth, licking at it quickly. ‘I’ll make it so good, baby. Like you’ve never felt before.’ Lando sucks on his tongue, catching Oscar’s soft gasp. ‘You’ll forget about everyone else, Osc. It will be just me in your head, only me.’ Lando’s hand squeezes Oscar’s cock, making him whine. ‘I’ll ruin you for everyone else.’

You already did, is on Oscar’s tip of the tongue but he swallows it down. He thinks they are both acting like cavemen, feeling like they are in the competition with previous partners. Oscar doubts Lando realizes how unique he is to him, how utterly encompassing his presence is in Oscar’s life, how he turned everything upside down. Lando has no idea that he’s the first for Oscar in many, many aspects and it hurts him a little knowing that it’s not the same. Lando probably had many partners, both males and females, betas and alphas and omegas, probably had much better sex than whatever happened now in this bathtub and it makes something ugly flare up in Oscar’s chest, because Lando is his first in everything but he’s not first for Lando in anything.

Before he can voice it out, Lando starts stroking him again, moving his thumb around Oscar’s rim at the same time. ‘Need you to relax, baby,’ Lando whispers, mouthing at Oscar’s jaw. ‘I’ll open you up so nicely. So good, you’ll feel so good.’

The hush promise settles over Oscar in a wave and he closes his eyes. ‘Lando,’ he calls again, because he can, because it grounds him to say it out loud. Alpha’s name seems to be the only word he can muster.

‘I’m here,’ Lando answers, smiling into his skin when Oscar grits his teeth from how Lando touches him when he’s so sensitive. ‘Push up a little for me.’

Oscar doesn’t think twice before obeying; he lifts his hips, lets alpha move him further up his chest and gasps when Lando’s cock skims past his rim. ‘Shh, nothing will happen,’ Lando’s quick to say, settling beta comfortably. ‘Just needed a better angle.’

When Lando pushes the first finger in, Oscar scrunches his nose like he’s trying something that tastes sour. The feeling is weird – not bad or painful, just uncomfortable in its novelty. The water is warm and it feels like it gets even warmer with each pass of Lando’s hand on his cock – Oscar groans quietly, twitches from the aftershocks. He wants to both escape Lando’s hands and arch up into his touch, wants to feel it everywhere and stop feeling it all at once. Lando’s touch is scoldingly hot, Oscar feels mind-numbingly good just from having his hands on him, his scent on him. The finger inside him moves timidly, letting Oscar get used to it. He doesn’t feel particularly good from it, but he also doesn’t feel bad. It takes him some time to relax, for his body to turn from rigid to melted posture.

Lando catches his cues instantly, tracking when Oscar relaxes enough to be comfortable with the intrusion. ‘Breathe in,’ Lando asks and when Oscar does, he slowly adds one more finger, not stopping when Oscar lets out a pained noise. ‘I know, it’ll feel good, baby. In a second, I promise.’

It doesn’t feel good. It’s painful and Oscar is terrified that his body is not meant for this. Not meant to have Lando’s fingers inside him, not meant to take an alpha in. It’s a horrible thought, it makes panic bubble on the surface, taking his attention away from the pain. Lando’s fingers are big and long and the are curling, searching for something –

‘Fuck!’ Oscar shouts, when Lando presses on something that sends a zing of pleasure up his spine. A distressed noise leaves him as Lando starts pulling out his fingers only to then thrust them back again, making Oscar arch with so much strength that Lando has a hard time keeping him close. ‘Fuck-what-‘

‘How are you real,’ Lando mutters and bites at his neck, grinning at the way Oscar’s cock jumps in his hand. ‘Oscar, holy shit. You liked it baby?’

Oscar did not like it. Oscar’s consciousness is held by a string and when Lando curls his fingers just right inside of him, he lets his head fall back and surrenders to pleasure. Just two alpha’s fingers feel like a lot, Oscar’s hips twitch as tell-tale warmth spreads throughout his whole body. He didn’t think it’s possible, but Lando’s scent grows even stronger – Oscar whimpers pitifully in response. The whole air he breathes consists of Lando, Lando, Lando and Oscar lets it take control of his body, lets it overwhelm him, lets it settle around him like an armor, like the safety net.

Lando clocks it the second his muscles unclench and a ramble from deep within his chest is full of approval, appreciation. ‘Let go for me, baby. I’m here,’ he murmurs, moving his fingers slowly inside Oscar. ‘You’re doing so good, Osc. Feel so perfect around my fingers. So hot, so tight.’

Oscar’s half-hard just from it, just from knowing that Lando thinks he’s good, hot and tight. He’s floating, surrounded by Lando and everything feels good, perfect. Lando pointedly rubs at the place that has Oscar seeing stars and it knocks the breath out of his lungs. The fact that it can feel this good, the fact that he is letting Lando do this to him – every time Lando moves it makes Oscar feels like he’s giving alpha some fraction of him, some small part that he will never take back. Lando probably doesn’t even know, has no idea that Oscar is this deep for him – a broken moan tears up his throat, escaping without permission.

Lando brushes his prostate again and then pauses, slowly pulling his fingers out. His hand moves to take Oscar’s chin and lift it up, making beta meet his gaze. Lando’s eyes are dark, brows furrowed as he watches his expression. ‘You smell distressed,’ he mutters. ‘But you’re not hurt. What’s wrong, baby?’

Intensity of his scent fades out and Oscar feels like he can breathe again, breathe something that isn’t Lando. He shakes his head, not wanting to talk about this, hating how he ruined the mood, but Lando doesn’t let him hide. He makes Oscar face, cradles his face in his palms and asks again: ‘What’s wrong?’

Oscar doesn’t know how to explain it. He just feels so much, and he doesn’t want to analyze it, doesn’t want to spiral again; he shakes his head and pushes further, meeting Lando’s lips in the middle. ‘Nothing,’ he mumbles, trying to control his voice and stop it from shaking. ‘It’s just- a lot. I’m fine. Please, continue, Lan. I’m fine, I promise.’

Lando doesn’t believe him one bit. It’s clear in alpha’s eyes and Oscar prays he doesn’t press the issue. Lando doesn’t; instead he presses his lips on Oscar’s. This kiss is slow and deep. It’s a confession spoken in tongues, it’s a reassurance poured with every bit of the soul. Lando kisses Oscar like he wants him to understand, like he needs him to know how much it means to him. Oscar holds back tears in his eyes and kisses back with everything he has. Take me, his mind screams at alpha. Take me, make all the doubts disappear. Take me, take me, take me-

‘You make me feel out of my mind, Osc.’ Lando confesses between kisses, his hand going back to lightly stroke Oscar’s length, making him tremble. ‘If only you knew, shit. You’d get so scared of me-‘ Lando gently caresses Oscar’s cheek, smiling at him a little wistfully. ‘Of what I feel. Of what you make me feel.’

Oscar can’t breathe. He wants to know, wants to hear it all. He says as much to alpha, whimpering when two fingers breach him again: ‘Tell me,’ he pleads, all shame gone. ‘Tell me, Lando. Please, need to hear it, please.’ Oscar twitches in alpha’s hold, when strong teeth mark up his neck.

‘Want to hear how much I want you?’ Lando asks hotly in a much lower voice. ‘How I’m fucking crazy about you? Baby, I’m about to pop a knot and you haven’t even touched me.’ It’s true; Oscar can feel the knot formed at the base of Lando’s cock and he jolts, when Lando starts jerking him off faster. ‘Want to have you so much, all of you. Shit- want to own you, Osc, want you to be mine like my mate. Gone for you, you have me, want to keep you with me forever.’

Oscar doesn’t even try to bite back the moan that spills from his chest. The words serve like a balm on his heart, the thread into his consciousness and replace all the negative, insecure thoughts, lighting him up. A litany of curses leaves Lando’s mouth as Oscar starts moving his hips in tandem with his fingers, his breath coming out in short puffs as he pleasure builds too quickly again. His thighs tense and Oscar watched everything unfold in trance: the way Lando’s hand moved on his cock, how his fingers disappeared inside of him, touching parts of Oscar that feel-

‘You make me insane,’ Lando bites on his shoulder, guttural moan raising in his chest. ‘Want to mate you, want you all the time, Osc, all the.fucking.time.’ Every word is phased with a sharp tug at his cock, making Oscar cry out. ‘You’re so good to me. So, so good to me and others, such a perfect beta, so good to pups too.’

Oscar arches off his chest, trashes a little in his hold but Lando holds him close, not letting him escape. There’s barely water left in the bathtub, it’s all splashed on the ground from Oscar’s moving, but he can’t care, not when Lando keeps on abusing that one spot like making Oscar come is his only mission. ‘Fuck Osc, the things you let me do to you, me being your first, fuck-‘ Lando moves and then his cock slides right under Oscar’s, making both of them gasp. ‘Gonna come again for me, baby? Hm? Want you to. Want you to come on my fingers, want you to feel good.’

Oscar nods, biting his lower lip raw. He shudders at the tingling sensation, feels the way his balls tighten, can tell that he’s so close to losing it and Lando’s quiet ‘I will kill for this, Osc. To have you like this forever’ is what sends him over the edge. His vision blurs from the heat, intensity of it and when he comes he feels like he’s falling, diving into Lando with no remorse. He’s sobbing through it all, jaw slack and body twitching with a release. He’s vaguely aware of Lando pulling out his fingers, can tell that alpha is stroking himself to completion and when Lando groans loudly, clutching at Oscar tightly, Oscar is only half shocked to find warm cum all over his thighs.

For a moment nothing happens. Just silence and steady rise and fall of their chests, small tries to catch their breath. Then Lando moves. His fingers grab Oscar’s chin lovingly and he kisses beta languidly like they have all the time in the world. Oscar doesn’t trust himself to speak so he doesn’t, letting Lando hand wipe away their releases from his body.

‘You were perfect,’ Lando whispers, kissing the tip of his nose.

Oscar makes a quiet, satisfied noise. Something settles inside of him at those words. Lando brushes his hair away and kisses his forehead, his brows, his cheeks. Oscar lets himself feel it – lets himself stay in this state of no thoughts, just feelings. His limbs are heavy and his body is warm; the air is thick with their combined pheromones. When Lando moves, Oscar makes a displeased sound.‘Let’s get you out, baby.’

Oscar wants to argue but then notices how water is actually cold. They move in comfortable silence – Lando helps Oscar get up and they change the water in the bath, staying close. ‘Just s quick wash and we’ll go back to bed, baby,’ Lando promises, and he keeps his word.

They wash up quickly; Lando lets Oscar lean on him, not minding additional weight at all. They don’t get distracted with anything else, make a quick work of washing and Lando dries Oscar’s body with a huge towel, peppering kisses on his skin that feel like branding. ‘Good?’ Lando asks, when they walk back to his room. His eyebrows are furrowed and he’s staring at Oscar worriedly. ‘Talk to me, baby.’

Oscar only mutely nods. He’s feeling so much – but it’s good. Overwhelming, a lot, too much – but good. Lando looks skeptical for a second, but then he leans, takes a whiff of Oscar’s scent from his neck and comes back up with a wide, pleased grin. ‘Okay,’ he says in a much lighter tone. ‘Good.’

They settle on the bed comfortably with Oscar cuddled to Lando’s right side. Both naked, both uncaring of it. Oscar’s warm all over and when Lando starts cradling his fingers through his hair, he hums in delight, closing his eyes.

‘So perfect for me, my Osc.’ Lando whispers, covering them both with a blanket.

Oscar smiles and the last thought that runs through his mind before he falls asleep is that yeah, Oscar is his.

=+=

George’s scream pierces through the silence of the house. It’s raw and full of fear and Alex is up before he even is fully awake. His heart breaks at the sight of his mate trashing on the bed, caught up in a vision like in a nightmare. He screams again, louder this time, and Alex wraps both of his arms around him, holding him close. Nothing can pull George out of the vision, nothing can stop and – Alex hates it. Hates it with everything he has, hates it with a passion that can burn cities in its intensity. He hates the Goddess Ala for choosing George, hates all the higher being for making his mate go through this, hates himself for not being able to help.

‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Georgie,’ Alex whispers, rocking them back and forth as George trembles in his arms. ‘I’d take it all away if I could. All your pain, I’d take it all and give it to myself instead if I could.’

He knows that George doesn’t hear him, George told him that nothing can shake him out of the visions and he’s completely in trance, not hearing a thing from the real world. Alex can only hope that he feels him, feels his arms around him and somewhere deep in his subconscious knows that he’s safe in Alex’s arms, always.

‘Come back to me,’ Alex calls, when George quietens and somewhat settles in his arms. ‘Come back, baby, it’s okay. It’s okay and I’m here.’

When George focuses his eyes on Alex, they are full tears and fear. He’s looking at Alex like he’s not sure if he’s real and Alex kisses him just to prove that he is. ‘You’re okay, baby,’ he whispers calmingly.

‘And you are okay too,’ George mutters, clutching at Alex with such strength that his hold will leave bruises. ‘Alex-‘

‘Of course I’m okay,’ Alex soothes, smiling. ‘I’m always okay and I will always be okay. Don’t worry, baby. Need water?’

George shakes his head. ‘Stay,’ he asks, looking at Alex with big eyes. ‘Don’t go.’

Alex has a lingering suspicion what the vision was about this time, but he doesn’t voice it out loud. He only nods, holding George closer. ‘Of course I will, baby. I’m here.’

‘And you’re okay,’ George repeats again to himself this time, palm sliding up to Alex’s chest, where his heart is.

Alex presses a kiss on his forehead. ‘I’m okay, Georgie. I’m okay.’

‘Okay,’ George whispers, eyes already drooping. He sighs, cuddling back to Alex. ‘Okay.’

Alex holds him tight and George lets his warmth calm his racing heart. Not all visions come true, he repeats to himself. Not all visions come true. 

Notes:

i'm just gonna leave it here and not even gonna comment cause i apparently am incapable of not adding some sort of self-crisis in the smut scene alkdgklsgldgn i hope you liked it either way!!

apologies for a slight delay, this posting once a week is really stressing me out and i'm trying my best to make it, but it's just hard these days :( hopefully you enjoyed this chapter and let me know your thoughts in the comments!! always adore reading them guys, thank you for your support :')

as always, come talk to me on my tumblr ! :) love you dears, have the best rest of the week and it's finally a race week!! <3 - nini

Chapter 10: and it all goes down

Two weeks later

George stares at the way Alex stretches and thinks he’s going to lose his mind. What if he locks his alpha up? What if he fakes sickness? Alex will never leave him if he feels bad. Maybe he can mix some of these weird potions that Lando used to drink and-

‘You’re staring.’ Alex turns slightly towards him, beaming. ‘Enjoying the view?’

George huffs, rolling his eyes. In any other circumstance he’d joke or tease, but right now he’s not in the mood for anything. He just wants Alex to stay, and he thinks it says a lot about how unhinged he is about his mate if he’s ready to do unthinkable things to make him stay. If George needs to poison himself to make Alex stay, he will poison himself. It’s impossible to explain how just the thought of Alex leaving makes George’s heart stop completely in his chest and it has nothing to do with them being mates. It has everything to do with Alex being Alex, George’s Alex, the only person in this world who sees George for what he really is and loves him for it, the only person George will readily die for if asked.

‘Baby?’ Alex frowns, noticing subtle changes in George’s scent. He instantly is up on his feet and walks towards his omega, kneeling in front of him. ‘What’s wrong, hm? Tell me.’

George can’t tell; that’s the thing. That’s the pain, the problem, the reason of him wanting to fake sickness to make Alex stay. George can’t tell, because saying it loud will make it real, and he doesn’t want it to be real. Maybe, just maybe, if he keeps on pushing this thought away it will finally disappear and nothing will happen. Maybe, just maybe, if he acts like he saw nothing then nothing will happen. It’s been so many years, George thinks he’s ought to know how to trick his visions or how to make a deal with the Goddess Ala herself, but George is as useless here as anywhere else, apparently.

‘It’s cold out,’ he mutters, grabbing Alex’s sweater. ‘And you hate cold.’

It sounds ridiculous to his own ears, but Alex doesn’t comment on it. Alex never lets George feel stupid and he doesn’t do so now; he only leans closer, smiling softly. His hands find George’s and he interlaces their fingers, marveling at the difference in their skin tones as he always does. ‘December here is much warmer than December in the North,’ he says in a patient tone he uses whenever George refuses to open up to him. ‘And I somehow survived the coldest winters out there.’

But I was there with you, George wants to say. I was there and now you’re leaving, and I won’t be there and oh, please, don’t leave. Don’t leave, don’t leave, don’t leave. George swallows it all, ignoring bitter bile that rises in his throat. He can say a lot, but words refuse to make it out of his mouth, staying inside of his chest instead. What can he say? How can he make Alex understand? George is selfish. He doesn’t want to be, but he is, and he doesn’t care about the wellbeing of his pack if this wellbeing means letting Alex leave on a mission that seems to be suicidal. Everyone can die, but Alex should stay. George will trade everyone for Alex, to have him healthy and alive by his side.

‘I don’t like it when you get like this,’ Alex murmurs, pressing small kisses on omega’s knuckles. ‘All quiet and closed off, not letting me in.’

George doesn’t like it either; he is usually like that with anyone but Alex. He can’t help it now though, has to bite his tongue in order not to say what he really wants to say. It’s not even five in the morning, he knows they’ve got less than two hours together, so the only thing his mind comes up with is: ‘Kiss me, Alex.’

Kissing Alex is like coming home. Hugging Alex, touching Alex, letting himself be carried by him and touched in return – all of that feels like coming home. Home that is cozy and well-loved, where lights are always on and a warm cup of tea is always ready for any guest. Alex makes him feel safe in the most basic meaning of this word, in a way George thought he’d never have.

‘I love you,’ Alex whispers into his neck, slowly taking off George’s clothes. ‘So much, Georgie.’

George knows. He can feel it in every touch, every kiss, every gaze. In alpha’s hands George melts, turns into a putty, only with him he doesn’t mind being an omega one bit, because for someone like George is ready to get born again as omega in every single life. He kisses Alex languidly, lazily, like they have all the time in the world even when it’s not true and Alex responds in the same kind. George arches into every kiss, lets bad thoughts leave his mind and give place to this – he can stop the whole world just to have this with Alex, forever.

The fire between them doesn’t burn to hurt, it burns to keep them warm. Alex moves in all the ways that make George roll his eyes in pleasure and gasp his name, knows what to do to have omega quivering in his arms, searching for release. After so many years together, there’s not a single thing Alex does not know about George and vice versa; George thought it’d make everything feel mundane, but it didn’t. Nothing about Alex is mundane, nothing about what they have feels casual or boring – George gets tiny prickles of excitement every single time he so much as looks at Alex, fireworks set off in his heart every time they touch.

He cradles alpha’s head in his hands and pushes their lips together. ‘I love you,’ George confesses, smiling at the way Alex’s hips stutter at this before he lets out a low groan. ‘You are my life. My only one. I won’t exist without you.’

‘George, fuck,’ Alex curses, dropping his forehead and picking up his pace. ‘Baby, my omega, my love- shit, love you so much, George. Love you the most-‘

‘Love you more,’ George moans wantonly at the last word, when Alex latches at his mating mark, sucking on it harshly. ‘Love you, Alex, love you so much-‘

Alex kisses him with everything he has. Nothing in this world feels as good as being kissed by Alex, having alpha pour all of his emotions in it, swallowing George’s answering moans like he’s going to eat him alive. They move in unison and when George comes, he does with Alex’s name on his lips and a love confession that’s torn out of his chest. Alex follows soon with a silent grunt and jaw clenched around George’s neck right on his scent glands. It almost makes George come again, this perfect combination of their scents together, how transparent the love is in them, how strong and pure it is. He tries to catch his breath with his mate on top of him, but then Alex moves them, making it more comfortable for George to wait till his knot goes down.

‘I love you, George,’ Alex mutters into his collarbone, holding him tightly. ‘And I’ll always come back to you.’

George freezes. Of course Alex knows what this is all about. Why did he even think that he could hide something from him in the first place? He lightly scratches alpha’s back with his nails before settling his hands comfortably around his shoulders. They don’t say anything for a while, just bask in the afterglow, not ready to leave each other’s embraces anytime soon. George smiles at the tiny kisses he feels being left around his collarbones and looks down, pressing his mouth on alpha’s head. He breathes him, wanting to commit Alex’s scent deeper, not wanting to let go. Alex is silent, but only because he’s giving George time to think and talk to him; he can tell his mate is going through something hard on his own.

‘Try to be quick,’ George finally says, breaking the silence. ‘Don’t stay there for long.’

They both know that none of these things depend on Alex – he’s going to follow Max’s command like rest of the team, after all. Still, needing to appease his omega, Alex nods. ‘I’ll try my best.’

‘Watch out for that Carlos guy,’ George continues, needing to occupy himself with this or else he’ll just start crying with Alex’s knot inside of him. ‘I don’t like him.’

Alex snorts. ‘He seems decent though. And besides, that was the only condition from the Elders that we should take someone from their pack too with us. It’s good it’s Sainz, a young alpha, not someone older and less strong. Carlos can help us if it all comes down to a fight. And some beta is also coming, so it’s all good.’

George tries not to flinch at the glaring reminder of where they are going and what might happen. When Max first announced that together with the Elders he’s planning to go check nearby regions for any rogue wolves. It’s getting colder and colder, knowing that this pack is the biggest and has the most crops, it’s only a matter of time before rogue wolves from packs that were attacked by The Outlanders will try to get in. The word has spread that they are leaving only ashes in their wake, not sparing any villages, setting everything aflame. George knows better than trusting some unfounded rumors, but he also has own visions, and the fire always plays a huge role there.

‘The more people the better,’ Alex continues, trying to soothe George’s worries. ‘Besides, I gotta go cause who’s gonna watch after Lando there?’

George groans, closing his eyes. ‘Can’t fucking believe he’s actually going.’

‘Can’t believe that he healed this fast,’ Alex says, grinning. ‘Little fucker.’

George presses his nose to alpha’s hair, inhaling to settle himself. He doesn’t tell Alex that Lando’s extraordinary fast healing has everything to do with the Gods, because there’s no other explanation to how Lando managed to transform into a wolf week ago, surprising everyone. He thinks of a curly haired boy with a tooth-gapped smile and his heart squeezes in his chest.

‘Lando can look after himself and if not then he has Daniel and Max looking over him,’ George pushes Alex’s head up until their gazes meet, ‘I want you to think only of yourself, Alex. Not about Lando or Max or anyone. Only about yourself.’

George knows how he sounds, and he doesn’t care. Alex’s gaze softens and he leans in, slightly pushing up to kiss George’s lips. He obviously doesn’t agree, but again, for George’s sake, he only whispers: ‘Okay.’

George sometimes hates how accommodating and agreeable his alpha is. He wants Alex to be more selfish, but if he can’t then that’s okay, George will be selfish enough for both of them. ‘You promised to come back to me,’ he says and sighs a little, once Alex slowly pulls out. ‘You always keep your promises.’

‘Of course,’ alpha readily confirms, kissing him again in apology when George grimaces at the mess they made. ‘I’ll clean you up, just a second. Lay still.’

In all honesty George doesn’t have much choice, because sex with Alex always leaves him all weak in the knees and lazily satisfied, his limbs refuse to cooperate for a while. He watches as Alex cleans them up and makes grabby hands, smiling when alpha immediately obeys, wrapping George again in his arms with all the love in the world. Everything is better in Alex’s arms, George decides. Maybe if he stays here long enough then he can forget about-

‘I won’t exist without you too,’ Alex quietly says, swaying them both a little. ‘I will always come back to you, George. I will never leave you alone.’

George closes his eyes and tries his best not to cry over this. He buries his face deeper in alpha’s neck and relishes in his reverent touches. ‘I just-‘ George bites the inside of his cheek. ‘I am just so-‘

‘Shh, I know.’ Alex truly does know. He knows George too well. ‘I know, baby. I know.’

Not all visions come true, George repeats in his head like a mantra. Not all visions come true. Not all visions come true. Not all visions –

‘Walk me out?’ Alex proposes and George can’t say no.

The sun is not fully out by the time they reach the entrance gates. Max and Daniel are already there, along with Carlos and a sturdy-looking beta named Guanyu. Lando comes running just a few seconds after George and Alex arrive, looking disheveled and grinning from ear to ear. It’s so obvious how excited he is to be back on his feet that George can’t stop himself from smiling – what a treat it is to see Lando like this again, not the barely breathing version of him that haunted everyone’s mind for days.

‘Waiting for Kevin from our side and we can go,’ Max announces, mostly to Carlos and Guanyu.

‘Okay,’ Carlos nods. ‘I think we can also-‘

‘Lando!’

George smiles when he sees Oscar running. He’s all pink from running and then blushes even harder under everyone’s attention. Young teacher fumbles for words and George’s heart soars – he was the same many, many years ago, back when him and Alex were just friends with ginormous crushes on each other. Oscar looks like he’s about to let the earth swallow him whole as Carlos and Guanyu start whispering to each other, but then Lando saves the situation by grabbing his hand and tugging him closer to himself, smiling softly like he does whenever he speaks to pups. George turns away from them, wanting to give these two some privacy and instead makes eye contact with Max. Max, who is the only one who knows about George’s vision. The head alpha gives him a tiny, almost imperceptible nod that goes unnoticed by everyone else. I remember. I know. I will take care of him. George and Max may have their disagreements, but George knows that Max will always put himself first at the face of danger and will always care about safety of anyone from his pack more than his own, so some bit of the worry settles in his chest.

‘Hey,’ Alex whispers right when Kevin comes up to them. ‘Look at me, baby.’ George reluctantly looks up. Alpha’s eyes are serious as he scans George’s face. ‘It will be alright.’

‘It better,’ George mutters, trying his best to stay strong. It’s hard to untangle his fingers from alpha’s sweater and let him leave, but he tries anyway. ‘Remember what we talked about? Think of yourself, please.’

Alex smiles and leans in, pressing a small kiss on his forehead. ‘Will do,’ he promises.

‘Let’s go.’

Max doesn’t wait for anyone to acknowledge him and walks out of the gates with a head held high. George watches as they leave until their figures do not disappear in the dense forest. Even when he can’t see them anymore, he still stays with eyes glued to the trees like he can will them to part. He doesn’t react to Oscar quietly coming up to him, offering only a nod of acknowledgement when Oscar whispers his greeting.

‘You good?’ Oscar asks, looking a bit unsettled himself. George doesn’t blame him, if Alex was barely breathing almost three weeks ago and now went with Max, he’d also have felt horrible. ‘You look…’ Oscar’s nose scrunches in an adorable way. ‘I don’t know. Like you know something.’

George freezes. ‘What?’

Oscar shrugs unsurely. ‘Visions, I mean? You look at them like you sent them out to death.’

George is not the best actor, but Oscar doesn’t know him very well, so when George mutters: ‘I’m just not fully awake yet,’ he hopes it’s believable enough for the beta.

Oscar doesn’t say anything, just hums. ‘Let’s go back?’

It’s very sweet of Oscar not wanting to leave George alone. George nods at him and they walk in silence with omega ruminating about the boy next to him. He always trusted Oscar and watching him now with Lando makes him all warm inside. He wonders whether he should tell Oscar about his visions and before he can think this idea through, his mouth already opens: ‘I saw you first in my visions. When I met you here, I thought I was going crazy first.’

Oscar trips and almost pace plants himself but catches himself in the end. He looks stunned, staring up at George like he’s seeing some kind of miracle. ‘Wh- what?’

George is hopelessly endeared. He doesn’t miss the way Oscar looks at Lando like he’s not sure whether the alpha is real and that his feelings for him are real. So maybe that’s why George tells him the truth: ‘You two are always together in my visions. In every single one of them, it’s you and Lando together.’ He hopes it’ll make beta feel better, make him feel more confident. Oscar’s eyes do this funny thing when they get bigger like they’re about to bulge out and then he squints like he’s unsure. George smiles at him and reaches out to pat his shoulder. ‘Not all my visions turn out real, but I rarely see the same things twice. So, trust me when I say it. You two are together.’

‘Together as in,’ Oscar clears his throat, fumbling with his words. ‘Like-‘

George laughs out loud, feeling nerves in his chest ease up. ‘Like the way you two are right now.’

Oscar turns crimson so quickly and only grunts in response. He’s looking at the ground and tries to act like the information he just received did not wreck his brain completely; George’s gotta give him that, beta has great poker face. They part their way in silence, Oscar waving at him and George waving back. He doesn’t like going home alone, so he switches the direction and ends up at Lando’s parents house, knocking lightly, knowing that Cisca is awake at this hour. And she is, she opens the door and instantly wraps her arms around George, knowing what he feels.

‘It will be alright, my darling,’ Cisca whispers, pulling George in. ‘Don’t let your thoughts pull you under.’

George tries to speak but he can’t get a word out, instead, he coughs, hiding his face in Cisca’s arms. Her soothing presence makes his walls crumble, and he sniffles, letting Cisca practically drag him further into the house. He hears footsteps and Adam’s scent clouds the space before his warm hand settles on George’s back. ‘I’ll make tea,’ Adam whispers before going out.

George melts in Cisca’s embrace, not crying, but barely keeping it together. Her gentle hands caress his back and shoulders as she murmurs that all visions do not come true. George knows that, he knows, but he never had visions about Alex. Never.

‘We can pray, darling.’ Cisca whispers. ‘When there’s nothing else to do, we can always pray.’

George sighs. He never actually prayed, because being chosen by the Goddess Ala and then praying is too ironic. But he knows Cisca means well and he just nods, stealing more of her warmth. He doesn’t know how she’s this calm when her own son is out there in less than a month after a near-death experience. ‘Hope always dies last,’ she says in the end, kissing his head. ‘We must always hope.’

George closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. If I mean something to you, he starts, hoping that Goddess Ala hears him. If I mean something to you then you’ll let Alex come back to me alive. He knows it’s no good to give Gods conditions, but he can’t care right now. He’s ready to bear God’s wrath if it means getting Alex in one piece.

‘Tea is ready,’ Adam calls from the kitchen.

‘Up you go, sweetheart.’ Cisca kisses his head one more time.

George nods. Cisca is right: there’s nothing left to do but pray and hope.

=+=

Oscar tries his hardest not to let his annoyance show. The Elders asked him to include history lessons for the pups and Oscar is a) irked by the way he was ‘asked’, which sounded more as a thinly veiled order and b) frustrated because pups barely have enough attention span to finish one text, not talking about listening to him about the history with nothing to focus on (like pictures, or texts).

‘Oscar, it’s boring!’ Bianca proclaims, never the one to shy away from loud exclamations. Few other pups snicker at her boldness and others simply agree, nodding their cute heads along. ‘I don’t wanna hear about history. I wanna run and play hunting! Or play hide and seek.’

‘Bianca,’ Oscar sighs, rubbing his temples. He knows, he knows, but what can he do? The last thing Oscar needs in his life is a conflict with the Elders who already don’t like him and his mother much. ‘Sit down, please. What did we say about interruptions?’

‘I wanna play hunting too!’ Oliver joins, because of course he does. Hanging out with Kai made him even bolder.

‘But it’s too cold,’ Doriane mutters, warily glancing at the windows.

Oscar opens his mouth to put a stop to this discussion when Taylor quietly murmurs: ‘Logan told us not to play it anymore, though.’

Oscar blinks. Pauses, takes a deep breath, blinks again. Hopes he misheard and then his heart aches because lately, with everything revolving Logan, he always hopes he misheard. And he never does, unfortunately. Trying not to sound angry, Oscar steps closer to Taylor, who’s holding his sister’s hand with a big pout on his face. ‘Hey, T. Can you tell me what Logan said to you? And when did that happen?’

Ella glances at Oscar, then at her little brother and promptly takes on her big sister role, easily answering Oscar’s questions with zero shyness: ‘Logan always comes to us to play and a few days ago he came with some stuff for our dad. He told us not to play hunting.’

‘And not to play with the North pack pups,’ Taylor finds his voice. Oscar smiles encouragingly at him, wanting to convey that pup did nothing wrong and that Oscar is not mad at him. ‘Cause- I don’t know. He said they’re bad.’

‘Kai is not bad!’ Oliver shouts outraged. ‘Kai is super cool!’

‘And Sam is cool too,’ Doriane joins.

Oscar thinks his ability to stay level-headed in any situation is heavily exaggerated; right now, for example, he’s fuming, and it shows both on his face and in his scent. He tries to reel it in, of course, but nothing can hide the deeply etched frown or clenched fists from curious pair of eyes. He pats Taylor’s back gently and stands up with a rabbiting heart. His voice is calm and doesn’t shake when he announces that the lesson is over and everyone is free to go. ‘If there’s anyone else here who heard something like that from Logan or anyone else in our pack, please stay,’ Oscar asks and grits his teeth when half of the pups stay.

It shouldn’t surprise him, but it does. Really, Oscar has no one to blame but himself for refusing to believe in the existence of the group of antis. His wishful thinking is the thing that led him to this moment, feeling almost numb as he hears names of Yuki, Mick and Gabriel being thrown around by pups. With every name of the person he knows Oscar wants to… he doesn’t know what he wants, actually. Part of him is so angry, he wants to crush and burn, wants to cause a riot and make everyone pay. The other part is so saddened, he wants answers, explanations and whispered ‘yeah, we were wrong this whole time’ by all members of the antis group.

‘Thank you,’ Oscar smiles at the pups, knowing that this time his voice does shake. ‘I’m sorry for making you wait, you can all go now.’

Doriane stays behind, her blue eyes piercing through Oscar with a way too mature look. She leaves the room last and before she goes, she runs to Oscar, clinging to his legs in a rare show of affection. It startles beta at first, but he quickly gets on with the program, hugging her back. When Doriane looks up, meeting his gaze, she asks: ‘You will do something about it, right?’

Oscar’s hand pauses mid-air. He swallows, resuming his task of caressing her hair. Such a simple question and yet the answer is so complicated, Oscar’s not sure he even knows the answer. Not being satisfied with silence, Doriane pushes: ‘Cause it’s wrong, I think. Sam is cool, and Kai is cool, and all others are cool too. I want to be friends with them.’

‘You can,’ Oscar says immediately, hating the notion of someone dictating the pups who they can be friends with and who they can’t. ‘You can, Doriane. Don’t listen to Yuki, okay? I will talk with him.’

She nods and a small smile she sends his way makes Oscar feel a bit better about the whole situation. ‘Okay,’ Doriane lets go. Her nose twitches and she wrinkles her whole face: ‘You smell stingy, ew. Bye, Oscar!’

The door shuts after her with a loud click, bringing chill from the outside into the room. Oscar shivers even though he’s bundled up in the old and well-worn sweater and new coat he got from Mark. He stands immobilized, staring at the wall as his mind runs over twenty different scenarios at the same time. You will do something about it, right? He should. Max’s face with their last interaction in Lando’s living room appears in his mind and Oscar lets out a loud groan of frustration. It makes him feel so dumb that he just refused to see what’s going on right under his nose, that his faith in certain people blinded him enough to ignore the rising tensions in the pack. He hadn’t seen Logan since, well, that fight when Lando came out in the end. The gap that widens between them concerns Oscar more and more: Logan is his best friend, the closest person he ever had in his life apart from his family. With a heavy heart he drags a hand down his face, sighing, already knowing that he can’t delay this any longer.

It was easier to find Yuki first, because Yuki’s always in the kitchen. Oscar doesn’t miss side eye looks he receives when he enters, but he pays them no mind, stalking towards Yuki until he doesn’t stand right next to him. The shorter beta sends him a sideways glance and chuckles darkly: ‘Finally found your way back in here?’

Well deserved, Oscar thinks. It truly has been a while since he stopped over this place. The guilt he expects to feel doesn’t come though, dulled by the brewing anger in his body. Yuki doesn’t turn to him and continues to cut his vegetables, only tense back shows how affected he is by Oscar’s presence. ‘I wanted to talk,’ Oscar says quietly, very aware of all the listening ears around them.

Yuki pauses momentarily. ‘Talk, then.’

Oscar grits his teeth. If this is how Yuki wants to do then fine, he’ll do it his way even if he preferred to have some kind of privacy. ‘Wanted to ask since when you’re telling pups who to talk to and what to play,’ he starts, going for a nonchalant voice but ends up sounding more tense than he’d like. ‘Not a massive fan of that, I’ll admit.’

Yuki, to his credit, doesn’t even try to deny or act oblivious like he doesn’t understand what this is about. He shrugs, chops up onion with a deadly efficiency and then turns to Susie, asking her to bring him potatoes. Every single person in the kitchen is listening in, not even pretending to act like they don’t; Oscar mentally rolls his eyes on this. ‘What don’t you like exactly? The fact that I am giving directions to your pups or what I’m saying to them?’

Oscar tries not to rise for the bait. Of course it doesn’t sit well with him when someone else decides to lecture his pups. He also knows it’s not normal, knows he has no permission to act possessive over the pups, so he swallows his dry remark. ‘I’d appreciate if you didn’t start unnecessary tensions inside the pack.’

‘I’m not starting anything, Oscar.’ Yuki finally puts his knife down, turning to face Oscar fully. He looks frightening despite his short height and it’s clear that this topic is not his favorite judging by angrily arched eyebrows. ‘It’s you who’s stirring shit up, almost trading your own pack for another one.’

The accusation lands like a blow right up in the chest – Oscar takes a step back, startled. Him and Yuki are not exactly close, but they never had any animosity between them for shorter beta to sound this poisonous. Oscar can’t even hide his surprise, he’s so shocked to hear this coming out from Yuki – who never cared about politics or anything apart from sticking to his job on the kitchen – that it takes him few seconds to come into himself and come up with a reply. How can Yuki accuse Oscar of trading packs, when he knows very well how this pack treated Oscar? How? Oscar swallows past the anger, understanding that this is not Yuki – these words are from someone else. Someone put them into his head, twisted them enough to make everything sound believable. And Oscar with a horrifying squeeze in his heart already knows who is responsible for it, who’s staying behind it all.

‘Who told you this?’ Oscar asks, needing to make sure. ‘Who is the leader of this antis group?’

Corners of Yuki’s mouth turn downwards, and he avoids Oscar’s gaze, turning back to his cut board. He grabs his knife and mutters lowly: ‘Logan.’

Isn’t it funny how you know exactly what’s coming and yet it still hurts? Oscar purses his lips together, not saying anything. He can feel everyone’s eyes on him, can tell that everyone is waiting for his reaction with a bated breath. Oscar doesn’t show anything on his face, but –

‘Your scent,’ Yuki looks up, suspicious. ‘It never was this strong before.’

The scent of burnt grass fills the not so big space of the kitchen, indicating anger and frustration that’s bottled inside Oscar. ‘Yeah, well, things change,’ Oscar mutters before raising his voice, now addressing everyone in the kitchen: ‘Who has seen Logan?’

He doesn’t know where his bravery comes from. It’s not exactly like him to speak in a loud voice, to address multiple people at once, to feel like he owns the place instead of wanting to hide. His face must look pretty terrifying because it’s Steph who speaks up: ‘He should be with The Elders now.’

Ah. Oscar should’ve guessed. The knowledge that The Elders are also intertwined in this makes him sick. He nods in thanks and then turns back to Yuki, saying in the most controlled voice he can muster: ‘Do not talk shit about the North pack to my pups. And I’m saying this to everyone here.’

It feels good. Feels good to openly call pups ‘his’, feels good to be bold and unapologetic, feels good to leave everyone gaping in shock. When Oscar moves towards The Elders’s residence, he does with a confident stride and loudly beating heart. Something inside him rises, making Oscar pause in surprise. Something moves and a distant memory of this feeling makes his knees buckle. Last time he felt something like this was when he still could transform, when he could still be one with his wolf. Just a slight tremble, a whisper of something inside that Oscar longed for and thought he’d never have again. Clutching at his chest, Oscar breathes through his mouth, listening closely. It wasn’t a glitch, a trick – he feels slight movement again, just a barely there stir, but it’s there. Deep inside him, reminding him that it’s real. The warmth spreads all over his body and he exhales shakily, rubbing his eyes. Oscar decides to treat this as a good sign, a sort of encouragement from above that he’s doing well, that his intentions are good.

The Elders residency fits them in Oscar’s humble opinion; looks incredibly polished from the outside but is all dark inside. Oscar doesn’t come in, never goes in there voluntarily, and just waits outside for Logan to come out. And he does, his sweet creamy scent reaches Oscar seconds before its owner appears. Logan freezes, looking like a deer caught in headlights at Oscar, before he schools his expression into a passive mask. Well as passive as possible for Logan, who wears his heart on his sleeve and has zero ability to hide his emotions. Oscar sees it all – the confusion, hurt and longing – and swallows dryly, not making a move to breach the distance between them. He replayed in his head what he could possibly say, but staring into Logan’s eyes right now he can’t seem to remember them at all.

Thankfully, Logan has never been good with awkward silences. ‘Remembered me? Oh right, no. Your alpha from the North pack left for that mission and now you have time for others, huh.’

Oscar doesn’t react. He can hear clearly the hurt in Logan’s voice, how he stares at Oscar like he abandoned him, betrayed him. Both of the things are not true, and Oscar hopes he can convey this message directly. ‘Let’s talk,’ he suggests in a calm voice.

Logan looks like he’s about to say something snarky again, but then he glances at the entrance to the residence and thankfully decides that they don’t need an audience. He jerkily nods to Oscar in the direction of their houses, and he wordlessly follows, chewing on his bottom lip. Oscar has so many things to say, he doesn’t know from which to start: should he address the issue with the group first? Or about their friendship? Or the one about the pups? Should he start with reminding Logan that Oscar’s mother is from the North herself, the same Nicole who raised Logan like her own son? In the end, before Oscar can gather his thoughts together, Logan asks: ‘So what made you come back to us?’

‘I haven’t left,’ Oscar answers, frowning. He knows what Logan means and he’s not going to entertain this thought. ‘I was teaching all this time, just like always.’

‘You eat with them,’ Logan says and ‘them’ is practically spit out. ‘You talk with them, you spend all of your time with them. Everyone noticed, everyone’s talking.’ Logan slows down, finally turning to look at Oscar. ‘What are they telling you?’

The theory for him being brainwashed is so far-fetched that Oscar knows he looks as dumbfounded as he feels. ‘Nothing,’ he answers sincerely, hoping that Logan can believe him. ‘Nothing, Logan. The only talking is happening from the side of your not so little group of antis, mate.’

Logan frowns, eyebrows drawing together like a string. ‘Don’t call me ‘mate’ when you haven’t talked to me once in a fucking month, because you’ve clearly chosen Lando over me.’

It would’ve been too naïve to think that no one from the South pack would learn about Oscar spending nights in Lando’s house. Esteban and Laura were helping at the start when Lando was unconscious, so maybe the word spread from them. Or maybe it was Kai, who talked to Oliver or to any other pup and told everything; it doesn’t really matter. Oscar knows how it looks from the outside, but he also knows that he feels no remorse or regret over it.

‘He got injured protecting us from the rogue wolf,’ Oscar explains in case Logan has some other version of situation.

‘All hail him for that,’ Logan rolls his eyes, scoffing. ‘What would’ve we done if one rogue wolf entered our area? What would’ve we done without Lando?’

The dismissive attitude irks Oscar in the worst way; his jaw locks and fists clench as he tries not to start a fight. It easily could’ve been Logan who met the rogue wolf, and he doesn’t want to think of how badly it could’ve ended then. Too bad Logan doesn’t seem to get this point. ‘I’m not here to talk about Lando,’ Oscar says. ‘I’m here to talk about you spreading hate, talking shit to my pups-‘

‘No one is spreading hate, open your fucking eyes and see that we’re trying to keep our pack bonded, trying not to let them come in and make their own rules and teach our pups something that they don’t need to know!’ Logan throws his hands in the air, raising his voice. He looks at Oscar like he can’t believe how he doesn’t understand any of this. ‘They’re treating this merger like a way to get in, don’t you fucking see? They want to take all that we have, all that we worked for, we earned-‘

‘You used to hate The Elders just like me and now you’re speaking with their words in your mouth?’ Oscar interrupts, also raising his voice. ‘What else are they telling you, Logan? To go kill them one by one in their sleep? To poison their food?’ Oscar steps closer, body thrumming with anger that has no way of getting out. ‘Do I need to remind you that my mother is from the North as well? If The Elders order to poison her, you will?’

Logan gapes at him like a fish thrown out of the water, eyes wide. Oscar latches on that hesitance like a hunter on the prey, sinking his teeth deep: ‘Will you, Logan? They will tell you to hurt pups from the North pack and you will? This is not you, you’ve never been this easily led by manipulative, greed-stricken ego maniacs who don’t even care about anything but their own profit. Don’t you see what they are doing?’

Oscar can’t believe that he has to spell it out, because The Elder’s plan is clear as the water in the sea: use the North pack to hopefully get rid of the Outlanders and then throw them away like unneeded material. Oscar shakes with the visceral desire to burn the residence with its owners inside. He doesn’t think there’s any other way to bring peace to this pack or to his heart.

‘They are trying to keep our culture, our pack-‘ Logan shakes his head, taking a deep breath. He looks conflicted, not staring at Oscar. ‘They- they only want what’s good for us. They-‘

‘They want war,’ Oscar cuts off with a voice like steel. ‘And if you can’t see this then you’re dumb and blind, Lo. They’re using all of you to-‘

‘No one is using us!’ Logan suddenly shouts loudly enough for people in the nearby houses to hear. ‘It’s them using you, they are changing you! You even- even your scent changed!’

Logan is pointing finger at Oscar like he’s accusing him for this, like he’s angry at Oscar for restoring the connection with his wolf. Like this change scares him because he thinks it means that Oscar changed. ‘You spend your whole time with them and now what? Gonna bare your neck to every alpha you see? Now you believe in the statuses? What does that make of you in their pack, huh? A lowly beta? A toy for all of them to chew on- Does Lando-‘

‘Don’t bring him into this,’ Oscar instantly says in a clipped tone. Hearing the way Logan even pronounces Lando’s name like it’s something disgusting makes his blood boil. ‘Keep his name out of your mouth.’

Astonishment crosses Logan’s features before he cages Oscar in, pushing him again and again until Oscar’s back doesn’t collide with the closest tree. ‘You are with him,’ he whispers quietly in a sudden realization. ‘You are- Oscar, holy shit, you are with him.’ The grip on Oscar’s coat tightens and he harshly smacks Oscar’s chest. ‘You’re fucking him. You- how could you-‘

‘Logan,’ Oscar calls, feeling some rise in his chest, something ugly and dangerous. ‘Step back.’

‘That’s where you left off? To warm his bed at nights?’ Logan sounds incredulous. ‘Holy shit. Is he that good of a fuck that he convinced you to turn your back on us? On me?’

A blood-freezing snarl that rips out of Oscar’s chest scares them both. It’s a deep, guttural sound that carries more weight than a shout. Logan steps back in shock from never hearing something like from Oscar, while Oscar stalks him, fueled by blinding anger. The feeling inside of him grows and swells, covers all of his chest and goes up, up, up until it reaches his throat and spills over: ‘How fucking dare you,’ Oscar can recognize his own voice, it sounds too deep to belong to him, too full of emotions. ‘Warm his bed? Warm his bed? You fucking-‘

‘Oscar.’ This voice stops him dead on track.

Oscar only then gets aware of him gripping Logan’s coat like he’s about to rip it, looming over him with his scent going crazy. When Oscar turns, his mother stares at him disapprovingly, clad only in a light shirt and pants. The way she hugs herself from cold instantly snaps Oscar out of it and he lets Logan go with a hard shove, not caring that the other guy stumbles and almost falls. ‘Mom, you need to get inside,’ Oscar rushes over, already taking off his coat. ‘Take this and go. It’s too cold, you shouldn’t-‘ Oscar pauses, noticing how she’s not even looking at him. ‘Mom?’

He follows her gaze and realizes that she’s staring at Logan, who is staring back. Nicole’s scent twirls around weakly, full of stingy regret and hurt. Oscar with dread understands that she probably heard most of it, if not all, considering how close to their home they’re standing.

‘Nicole,’ Logan calls in a shy voice, taking an unsure step forward. He’s looking at her like a little pup who knows he’s guilty and is now too afraid of the punishment. His voice is shaking as he tries again: ‘Nicole, I-‘

But Oscar’s mother turns away from him and instead grabs Oscar’s hand, giving it a light squeeze. ‘Let’s go home, dearest.’

Oscar doesn’t turn back, nor does his mother. They don’t speak when they enter their house and they don’t say anything as Nicole moves him to the kitchen, quietly preparing them tea. Her scent is colored with sadness and Oscar doesn’t know what to do, feels all the fight leave him at the sight of her looking so crest fallen. What can he even say here if he’s not all too sure about his own emotions?

‘Lando left today along with others?’ Nicole suddenly asks, cleaning the table from various jars and tools.

‘Yesterday,’ Oscar corrects. And for some reason, adds: ‘I was there when they left.’

It seems to be the correct thing to say, because Nicole nods approvingly, smiling a little. Even her scent loses the tangy bit in it. His mother eventually met Lando last week and just like everyone else she fell in love with the way alpha ducked his head shyly, smiled widely and replied earnestly, not hiding a thing. Since then, Nicole always makes a point of asking about Lando every day, not knowing how warm it makes Oscar feel inside.

‘There you go,’ Nicole carefully places a steaming cup in front of him. ‘It will snow today.’

Oscar doesn’t question it, his mother is never wrong about those things. He chews on his bottom lip before asking: ‘Have you.. heard everything? With Logan, I mean. Um-’

‘I heard enough.’

Oscar knows this tone. It’s the tone that makes it explicitly clear that his mother does not want to talk about it, that she is upset and needs time to ruminate on this feeling. It’s also the tone that lets him know that Logan is not welcome in their house, not anymore. ‘Mom…’ Oscar trails off, unsurely.

Nicole turns to him slowly. Her eyes are shining with unshed tears as she steps closer. Oscar doesn’t hesitate, he wraps his arms readily around her waist and buries his head in her chest, sighing in relief when her hands wrap around his shoulders, keeping him close. It brings him back to childhood, when he used to run to her because fellow boys in the class were making fun of him. After so many years her embrace is still the safest place, she still makes everything better by just being there for him.

‘He will come around,’ she whispers, and it sounds like a promise. Her fingers rake gently through his hair. ‘He will, I’m sure. But until then,’ she carefully makes him look up, ‘I want you to not start any fights not with him, not with anyone else. It’s not safe.’

Oscar scrunches his nose, but nods obediently. ‘Okay.’

Nicole smiles, dropping her hands on his face, squeezing his cheeks affectionately. She looks at him in wonder as she whispers: ‘It’s getting stronger every day, hm? I can feel it.’ She moves her hand to his heart. ‘The wolf.’

‘I think so, yeah.’ Oscar doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but he can admit it to his mom.

Sole tear escapes her eye and she leans in, kissing Oscar’s forehead with a feeling that makes his chest seize up. ‘I’m glad, dearest.’ Nicole whispers reverently. ‘So, so happy for you.’ She leans back, sounding more alive than she did in years: ‘Keep it. Cherish it, let it grow. Forget about Logan and anyone else. You never belonged to this pack, anyway.’

You never belonged to this pack, anyway. Oscar swallows, clearing his throat. ‘I will. I feel… good. Better. Like- like it’s right.’ Like I am finally in the right place.

His mother smiles widely, sincerely. ‘Because it is right.’

They both smile at each other and in that moment, Oscar feels lighter. Like the weight has been lifted from his chest, like stars finally align to let him have this. Outside, it starts to snow.

=+=

Oscar stretches on his bed, sighing loudly. He was helping Charles with snow shoveling for the past two hours and now his back aches pleasantly from all the strain. He twists from side to side till the satisfying cracks of joints don’t shatter the silence of the room; only then he settles with both hands on his stomach. Three days. It’s been three days since he watched Lando leave through the entrance gates. Oscar never thought of himself as of a worrier, but apparently, he is and when he learned that about himself, he kinda felt… helpless. The only way to stop your mind from trying to guess what is happening with the group was to dive right into the work. Oscar volunteered for everything: snow shoveling, wood chopping, crop tending. He avoided the kitchen area and didn’t come close to anyone who Charles told him are part of the antis group and it was mutual from their side too. Oscar takes up more classes too, but instead of putting more information into pup’s heads, he just makes them playful. More and more of the North pack pups join and even Charles joins, lightening up the small study room with his presence. And it works, Oscar comes back home with a tiredness that helps him stay up for exactly a few minutes of talking with his mother and then he collapses on his bed with closed eyes.

It worked all previous days, but tonight Oscar can’t seem to fall asleep. It's quarter past eleven and Oscar tosses and turns, huffing into Lando’s pillow like it’s the reason for his insomnia. He went back to alpha’s room tonight on a pure instinct, needing to have some kind of presence of his around. Lando’s room is illuminated by a silver light coming from the window – moon is especially bright now as snow continues to fall. Is Lando cold now? Probably not, these temperatures are nothing compared to what they deal with in the North. How is his left side? He didn’t have any complaints the day before he left, but still. Have they found anything or anyone? How are Carlos and Guanyu behaving? What is happening there? Not knowing is the worst ever, he decides. The possibilities are endless, how is Oscar supposed to deal with all of this? His nails scratch idly at his skin on the lower stomach, skin naked save for the underwear. He misses Lando. For some reason it felt almost embarrassing to admit this on the first day, but now Oscar doesn’t care. He misses Lando. He got so used to his presence in the last weeks that not having him around now feels too foreign. He misses Lando’s scent that wraps around Oscar like second skin, misses his loud laughter that never fails to make Oscar smile, misses how soft he looks at Oscar like no one else in the world matters. He misses how perfectly they fit in Lando’s bed, how alpha’s hands were always on him, how he always made Oscar comfortable.

Oscar sighs, kicking off the blanket. His mind always go there in the end, to the place Oscar didn’t really allow himself to go. He misses Lando’s kisses. Gentle and slow when he wants Oscar to melt, wild and claiming when he wants Oscar to lose his mind. He misses the way Lando holds him: sometimes roughly by the hips, other times lovingly by his waist, but always makes sure to pull Oscar, close, closer than physically possible. Oscar licks his lips as he feels his length stirring in his underwear. God, this is embarrassing- and yet. Biting his lower lip, Oscar sneaks his hand down, giving his shaft a light squeeze. It makes his hips twitch and he sighs quietly at the satisfaction at the small zings of pleasure that run up and down his spine because of the simple action. It is embarrassing but he can’t stop. Not when his imagination paints his memories so vividly, when Lando’s voice is in his ear whispering that he’d kill for this, to always have Oscar like this. Oscar has to bite his tongue to not let the wanton moan out, because it might be the hottest thing he ever heard, and he wants to hear it again. And again, and again. Whispered into his skin, wants the words to bloom like teeth marks Lando so likes to leave on his thighs. He thinks of the last week, of the way Lando stared unabashedly with unhidden hunger. He already had Oscar, but it felt like it only made him hungrier and sometimes when his scent turned heady with arousal Oscar got scared of how it made him feel. How easily responsive he was, how instantly he got aroused too like his body had a freaking Pavlovian response on Lando’s pheromones. He thinks of the last week, of Lando’s insistent lips on his skin, his big hands squeezing his arse cheeks, playing with them like with a favorite toy. Behind his eyelids he can see himself arching up to touch, always so ready for Lando, desperate for his affection, needy and gone the second alpha tells him that he wants him. And Lando seemed to always want him. This is the part that messes with Oscar’s brain the most – this want. It gives him the most euphoric feeling of power when Lando stares up at him like he’ll die if Oscar says no. Like he’ll stop breathing if Oscar doesn’t let alpha touch him, like he’ll beg if Oscar asks him to. Oscar never did but oh, Lando would look so good on his knees, looking up at him with his pretty eyes and his pretty mouth-

‘Shit, shit,’ Oscar curses, looking down. He didn’t even notice how his hand pulled the underwear down to his thighs, how his cock was rock hard, how the tip was red and balls drawn tight. ‘Mhm, fuck.’

He turns and tries to inhale the most he can of Lando’s scent from the pillow, keening when he speeds up his pace. He wants. He thinks back to their time in the bathroom, when Oscar let Lando do things to him no one has ever done. They didn’t go further than that and knowing that they will, that once Lando is back maybe he will lie Oscar down exactly in this bed and will make him lose his mind again is enough to make Oscar groan. Maybe he will look at Oscar with all the love in the world and then make him forget his own name from pleasure. Maybe he will bite Oscar everywhere and will urge Oscar to do the same, maybe he will whisper things in Oscar’s ear that would color his skin bright crimson. Maybe he will tell Oscar how he loves the sounds he makes cause he does, he repeated it so many times in the past week, urging Oscar to not hold back at all. Or maybe he will tell Oscar how he’s perfect, how he was made for Lando, how he never wants this to end. Or maybe he will tell Oscar how he’d die for him, how the only thing that matters in this world is this, is them together, locked together, wrapped in each other.

‘Lando,’ Oscar lets out, because he can’t hold it anymore, because he misses how his name sounds in his mouth. ‘Lando, Lando, Lando-‘

He comes with a silent cry. His body shakes as he spills on his stomach with Lando’s voice in his ears. Oscar gasps at the end, blinking back to reality. The moon is still shining brightly and he stands up shakily, going to the bathroom with an overwhelming sense of loneliness. After he cleans up, he slips back under the covers and tries to breathe through the sadness. God, he misses Lando.

=+=

On the fifth day Oscar decides to check on George. They haven’t spoken lately but with this never stopping snow shitshow and his mother’s sudden flu, Oscar had his hands full. Today snow finally stopped and Oscar can’t bear to sit at home anymore in his own miserable company. He squints at the book he’s reading out of habit – just like Lando predicted his eyesight did return to the previous state and he had no need for glasses anymore, nor did he had trouble seeing something from afar. With a sigh he carefully folds the corner of the page to bookmark it and closes the book, listening closely to any sounds in the house. His mother’s fever broke yesterday, but her cough stayed persistently, and Oscar didn’t like it one bit. Esteban promised that she’ll be fine in a few days and Oscar believes him, but he still worries a great deal. Once he’s done everything he could and his mother falls in yet another slumber, Oscar kisses her forehead and goes out.

He never liked winter. The snow is only ever magical on the first day and then it’s just fingers numbing cold that chills up to the bones. On his way to George, Oscar thinks over the visions tall omega told him about. Him and Lando. It sounded surreal and yet deep in his heart Oscar knew that George was not lying. Sure, not all visions do come true, but the fact that George always saw him and Lando together in the way they are now is enough to make Oscar smile widely. His heart does a little jump, when he dares to really think about it, to let himself believe that him and Lando were destined to find each other and be together. It’s almost like they are part of some fairytale, main characters that get together despite all sufferings. In fairytales this couple stays together till the end and then lives happily ever after. Oscar is very aware of how far from fairytale the reality is, but he still doesn’t push those images away. Lets himself think of him and Lando as destined mates, fated lovers. He thinks of Lando and his whisper of ‘made for me, Osc, aren’t you?’ and feels giddy all over. Maybe he is made for Lando, just like Lando is made for him. He likes this thought in particular, that Lando was made for him, specifically for Oscar. With his specific scent and his unruly hair and his sea foam eyes that suck Oscar in every single time. He was made to bring Oscar back to his true self. Oscar is honest enough with himself to admit that he likes it very, very much.

He doesn’t find George at his house, which leads Oscar to the only other place he knows he might be. At first the idea of giving a whole house for some makeshift place for all the pups sounded weird to Oscar, but later he understood the whole point. The North pack had too many orphans after the last ambush, and it only made sense to put them altogether in one house with certain adults looking over them. George spent most of his time there and Oscar’s guess was correct – he sensed omega’s scent before knocking on the door.

‘Oscar!’ Kai latches onto him, grinning from ear to ear. ‘You came to play?’

‘We can play later after I’ll visit George,’ Oscar promises, raffling pup’s hair. ‘You really need a haircut, by the way.’

‘It’s scheduled for tomorrow,’ George says, coming out of the living room with a ton of fabric in his hands. ‘Franco will stop by to make everyone here look somewhat presentable.’ Kai smiles at him and George smiles back. ‘Go back, I’ll take care of Oscar here.’

Oscar shakes his coat off and hugs George briefly before following him to the small bedroom, where George puts all of the fabric on the bed, sighing. ‘Thank you for checking in. How’s your mom?’

‘Better,’ Oscar answers, not really wanting to go into detail of it. Instead, he sits on the bed, gently skimming past the materials. ‘Where did you get this?’

‘Not only you can trade,’ George chuckles. ‘Lewis helped me to get these from these traders on the ships. We really need gloves for everyone, I asked a few ladies to help me out with all of this.’

George doesn’t look good. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes, his eyes are red at the edges and Oscar can bet that he didn’t really sleep in the past days. Frowning, Oscar tries to gently inquire: ‘You look very tired. Are you not sleeping well or did visions become frequent? You know you need to rest after them.’

George flinches like he’s been slapped. With a sigh he rubs at his temples, closing his eyes. Hunching on the bed, he shakes his head, not looking at Oscar. ‘It’s just…’ George pauses and shakes his head again. ‘It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it, Oscar.’

Oscar does worry about it. In fact, Oscar worries about it so much that he thinks he should intervene, when loud ruckus from the living room captures his attention. George simply shrugs: ‘You can check if you want, but it’s just them fighting over something small, I assure you. But again, feel free to check. I know your teacher heart won’t be able to settle until you make sure on your own.’

Not needing to be told twice Oscar rushes to the living room, where three pups are indeed fighting over a coat, each tugging it to their side. There’s yelling and swearing and together with other noises from all other pups, the overall noise level reaches unbearable levels. And even through this, through all of this noise, a piercing cry shakes the walls so suddenly that everyone freezes out of shock. Oscar’s heart stops when the cry repeats, full of agonizing pain and hurt. His legs work on their own, carrying him to the room he just left. Oscar doesn’t breathe when he breaks the door open and finds George on the floor, curled into a shaking, trembling ball. He’s screaming at the top of his lungs and when Oscar tries to touch him, he recoils with a hoarse cry.

‘George, George, what-‘

Oscar’s words die in his throat. His blood goes cold and heart stops beating altogether at the sight of a rapidly darkening mating bite. His mind flashes with the memory of the same happening to his mother and the implications of what it meant. Oscar drops on his knees. The mating bite turns purple and then black. George's scream echoes in the house like a cry for help.

Notes:

.... i am sorry.

p.s. please still love me?
p.s.s. thank you as always for your support to this story. this fic wouldn't have been this regularly updated if it weren't for your kind comments. love you all <3

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Chapter 11: and it all goes down pt.2

‘Lando!’

Lando at first thinks he’s just hearing things, but then he turns, and Oscar really is right there, panting loudly from the run and blushing furiously. Lando is sure his face is doing something funny, because he did not expect to see Oscar here, not after their small argument yesterday. It takes him a second to understand that beta is feeling nervous with everyone’s eyes on him and he hurriedly takes him further from the group, giving them at least semblance of some kind of privacy. Lando knows that they don’t have much time, not with Max’s patience, so he gets to the point quickly: ‘Yes, Oscar? You wanted to say something?’

Oscar flinches a little at this, blinking rapidly and Lando mentally curses himself. He instantly grips Oscar’s wrist when beta tries to step back. The last thing he wants is for Oscar to think that he’s not happy to see him here. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean- sorry. I’m happy that you came.’

Lando looks down at their interlaced fingers and smiles. He’ll never get tired of having Oscar’s small dainty hands in his big ones. He likes how he can encompass them fully, how their skin tones contrast, how Oscar always ends up gripping at his thumb more than anything else. It happens again now as Oscar hooks his thumb and then quickly lets go, looking up at Lando: ‘How are you feeling?’

Warmth blooms in alpha’s chest like a flower. ‘Good, very good.’

Lando is not lying, at least not fully. Is he feeling better than before? Definitely. He can transform into the wolf, can run and his body doesn’t want to collapse after few exercises here and there. Is he feeling good enough to go on this mission? No, not really. Lando is not going stay behind and let Max and Daniel go alone though. That was the essence of the small argument they had yesterday: Oscar insisted on Lando staying because he won’t be much of a help with his not fully recovered condition and Lando stubbornly refused. He didn’t try to explain to Oscar what it meant to him to not let Max and Daniel leave behind him, found it impossible to put into words how leaving these two equals to breaking his own heart into tiny pieces, equals to the worst betrayal in history. Oscar left thinking Lando was a stubborn mule, but now he’s here, this wonderful boy who is scared but still is ready to try this tricky relationship thing with Lando is here and that’s all that matters. Lando smiles indulgently, tracing his face with his eyes. His bravest boy.

‘Thank you for coming,’ Lando whispers, stepping closer. Oscar’s scent sparks up at this, making alpha smile. ‘It means a lot to me.’

Oscar nods jerkily, chewing on his bottom lip. It’s obvious that he has strong opinions regarding this whole situation, but he keeps them to himself for peace, because fighting right now seems like the worst thing ever. ‘Don’t push yourself too hard,’ Oscar says instead, meeting alpha’s gaze. ‘And don’t forget about all the jars. I hope you won’t need them but the one with golden cap is-‘

‘-is for rashes and allergies, the one with the black cap is for pus and infections, the one with the black and white cap is for bleeding,’ Lando recites in a small smile.

‘So you do listen to me,’ Oscar huffs, shaking his head a little.

‘I always listen to you, Osc.’ Lando says seriously, squeezing his hand. ‘I don’t follow it or agree all the time, but I always listen.’

Oscar pauses and then his whole expression softens. He steps closer, sighing in relief when Lando covers them both in his scent like in a hug. ‘Be careful out there,’ Oscar whispers. His chocolate eyes are filled with worry, one that Lando unfortunately cannot soothe. ‘I know you think you’re strong and you are. But…’ Oscar takes a deep breath. ‘I know you’re the chosen one. I know God Tano looks over you. But sometimes- sometimes Gods don’t listen. No matter how much you ask them to. Sometimes they abandon you and-‘

‘Oscar,’ Lando pushes their foreheads together. It pains him to hear all of that, but he knows where Oscar is coming from. ‘I will be alright.’ He tries to sound as convincing as he can even when he doesn’t believe in these words himself. Lando tries to play it off as a joke: ‘Don’t act like you’re sending me off to death here.’

Oscar only frows harder at this. It looks like he’s battling within himself of what to say and how to say it, but in the end, he only sags and leans further into alpha’s embrace, breathing him. ‘I hope God Tano will stay with you,’ he mutters into his skin.

Lando inhales loudly, tightening his grip on Oscar. He doesn’t tell Oscar that he hasn’t felt God Tano’s presence at all since that faithful meeting with a rogue wolf. He only lies again: ‘I will be alright.’

They both know he can’t promise that, but they both let it slide. Lando brushes one fleeting kiss on Oscar’s right eyebrow, not trusting himself to kiss beta on the lips and keep it short. Oscar, all bundled up in a coat, with rosy cheeks and light brown eyes is a sight to behold. Lando’s heart squeezes painfully in his chest. There are words on his tongue, three words, ones that will probably freak Oscar out if he says them, so Lando keeps his mouth shut even when the desire to say them out loud is crushing his ribs.

‘Look after George,’ Lando says at last.

Oscar’s eyes widen a little and then he smiles, nodding. There’s fondness in his features as he takes a step back, squeezing alpha’s hand one last time. ‘I will,’ he promises. ‘You look after yourself, yeah?’

Lando grins. ‘Yeah.’

They don’t kiss but their scents linger in the air, intertwined, full of unsaid words and longing. Lando turns away hastily, knowing that the more he stays, the harder it will be to leave. He runs after Max and stops only when Daniel grabs him by the wrist, pulling him into a one-arm hug. ‘All good, lover boy?’

Lando can feel Max’s gaze on him and nods. ‘All good.’

Max stares at him for some moments before turning away and breaking into a run. That makes everyone pauses before Kevin huffs an annoyed ‘fucker’ and launches after him. Daniel grins, a wicked wild thing, and grips Lando’s shoulder. His eyes sparkle with something Lando hasn’t seen in a very, very long time. ‘Let’s fucking go,’ Daniel says, and it’s not poised as a question, but it kind of is one anyway.

And it’s one of the easiest questions for Lando as he grins back. ‘Let’s fucking go.’

With equally wide grins they sprint off, leaving the entrance gates behind.

=+=

‘So, you are Oscar’s friend?’ Lando asks Guanyu and ignores Alex’s snickering beside him. He elbows him not subtly until taller alpha doesn’t get the hint and step back, letting Lando talk to the other beta in peace and relative confidentiality.

Guanyu side eyes Lando but doesn’t look hostile. ‘You can say so, yes.’

He doesn’t offer anything else, and Alex starts coughing ahead of them, trying to mask his laughter. Lando mentally sends him a middle finger, scowling. With Guanyu and Carlos not being able to transform into wolves, it was initially decided that someone from the North pack will stay in human form to always check up on them. Lando instantly knew that it was going to be him and didn’t put any fight, because Max just letting him join already was a miracle and he didn’t want to push his luck any further. Alex with his ‘I’ll join Lando, I don’t feel good with him being alone with the guys from South pack’ pleasantly surprised everyone. Lando bristled at first, not wanting to be babied but then he saw the relief in Max and Daniel’s face and realized that none of them are really over his previous near-fatal injury.

‘Keep going, keep going,’ Alex teases Lando after an awkward silence followed Guanyu’s answer. ‘Don’t give up so quickly.’

From the corner of his eyes Lando can see Carlos’s mouth quirking up at this, but other than that alpha from the South pack acted stoic and didn’t initiate any conversation or acknowledged them in any way. Guyanyu, sensing that it’s his responsibility for the general awkward air, clears his throat and tries: ‘We, um, are not very close. Not like him and Logan, anyway.’

Lando tries to keep his face passive at the mention of Logan. Judging by Guanyu’s frown he didn’t do a good job of it, but now it’s on him to continue the conversation and Lando feels at loss. It’s not like he even has to make small talk, but Guanyu seems to be nice and well, Lando is willing to try for Oscar. He can’t have all friends like Logan, right?

‘I’m not-‘ Guanyu starts and chances a look at Carlos, who moves steadily forward on the same length as Alex. He lowers his voice, turning slightly to Lando: ‘I’m not like Logan.’

At first Lando is not sure how to react to this. He blinks, hoping his vaguely confused face conveys that he needs elaboration of some sort, but Guanyu stays silent. It then hits Lando like lightning, the meaning behind ‘I’m not like Logan’ thing. Guanyu is not part of the antis group, that’s what he’s trying to say. Alpha smiles in a friendly way, stepping closer to beta. He copies him and lowers his voice too, saying: ‘Good to know. And this Carlos guy? Just need to know if we should watch out for him in our sleep.’

Guanyu shakes his head. ‘He’s also not like Logan. He’s… kinda trying to make it all work? Between The Elders and your pack. He just wants peace, really.’

Lando hums. Now, that’s not a bad company. He catches Alex’s gaze thrown at him and gestures to Carlos instead and shows his friend a thumbs up, hoping Alex will get what he means. Alex rolls his eyes but nods and moves closer to Carlos, striking up a conversation too. Lando is not naïve enough to think that something good might happen if they befriend Carlos or Guanyu, but it definitely can’t hurt to have maybe not allies, but at least not enemies in the South pack.

‘And how do you know Oscar, Guanyu?’

Easy conversation makes the walk much more pleasant and distracts Lando from itching to transform. Max, Daniel and Kevin are somewhere far, all in their wolves form, checking the perimeters for them and Lando easily could’ve been with them, running shoulder to shoulder with Max. But being with Guanyu is not all that bad; the beta is calm and a little shy, talks about Oscar with respect and sympathy, which is more than enough for Lando to start liking him. It’s nice to get an outer perspective on Oscar’s childhood and teenage years, because while Oscar told Lando everything he could, he didn’t mention so many things. For example, how he was always helping others with homework or how he almost fell out of the window because he inconveniently fell asleep right next to it. Lando thinks of little Oscar and tries not to giggle at the image, painting the cutest kid in his head.

‘And you?’ Guanyu asks, sounding a bit hesitant. At Lando’s questioning gaze, he carefully elaborates: ‘I mean, you and Oscar. You two are…?’ Guanyu drifts off, letting Lando fill in the blank.

And what a great question that is. They never discussed any labels with Oscar and Lando doesn’t know how beta will feel if he right now answers Guanyu with one word circling in his head since their first kiss. Lando can answer this question in many ways: he call can Oscar his boyfriend, say that they are in a relationship even though this has never been discussed between them. He can simply say that Oscar is his and that’s it. He can call Oscar his mate – the most fitting definition in alpha’s opinion. But Oscar is not here, and they haven’t discussed it, so Lando settles for what he hopes is a rather mild answer that won’t get him into trouble: ‘We are together.’

‘Oh.’ Guanyu, if anything, doesn’t look very shocked. His thoughtful expression sets Lando on the edge, but then beta smiles a little for the first time since their meeting and mumbles quietly: ‘Good.’

Lando raises an eyebrow. ‘Good?’

‘Oscar looks happy. Happier,’ Guanyu corrects himself, shrugging. ‘If it’s because you two are together then good.’

The zing of happiness that rushes through Lando’s spine and then spreads all over his body is a bit embarrassing. Even his scent fills in with joy, which makes Alex look back at him in surprise, probably wondering what made him so happy while talking to Guanyu. Lando ignores the look though, concentrating on the road ahead all the while ‘Oscar looks happier’ is playing like a broken record in his mind. If Lando can make Oscar happier then that’s all he wants. It’s incredible how almost a month of being close and getting to know Oscar more turned Lando into… into something he doesn’t recognize somehow. It’s like Oscar split him into two parts: one part is this desperate pup, who is willing to beg for a scrap of attention and affection and another one is a possessive alpha, whose teeth ache with desire to bite, mark and claim. Alex told him that he felt pretty much the same about George, still feels like that. When Lando asked him whether that is a sign of Oscar being his mate, Alex just smacked the back of his head, muttering: ‘I thought you knew that he’s your mate all along? From the first time your scents reached out to each other, no? You can’t possibly be that much of an idiot, Lando.’ Lando is not an idiot, but Lando is a coward when it comes to anything regarding feelings. It’s one thing to call Oscar his mate in the haze of passion and another one to look at him and think of him as his mate. The one chosen for him by fate, the one Lando is fortunate enough to meet and fall in love with. The one who has Lando wrapped around his finger even if he doesn’t know it yet.

‘What happens when we reach the…uh, destination?’ Guanyu suddenly asks, successfully pulling Lando out of his musings.

‘Destination?’ Lando asks. ‘Were you not told what this mission is about? What did these Elders of yours tell you?’

Guanyu’s face darkens, and he looks away, not answering. He doesn’t have to say anything though, his scent gives away all of his thought anyway. Mild and barely there eucalyptus tinges with worry and something akin to resentment, making it clear that whatever was said was not taken lightly by the beta. Lando opens his mouth to ask, when suddenly Alex calls out his name sharply, urgently.

‘Run, faster!’ Alex orders and sets off together with Carlos.

‘What-‘ Guanyu starts but then Lando grabs his wrist, tugging: ‘Go, let’s go!’

Lando’s brain switches to the hunter mode instantly, like something flickers a switch. He doesn’t have to be in the wolf form for every sense of his to sharpen as he runs towards Alex, easily catching up with the other alpha. Now he can smell it – the distress coming in waves from Daniel’s scent, mixing with tightly coiled anger of Max somewhere not very far. This is what set Alex off, and they both forget about two guys from the South pack, leaving them to follow the scents.

‘Don’t smell any other wolf,’ Alex mutters as they run through the trees, ducking to not get hit by the branches. ‘But Max-‘

‘-is angry,’ Lando finishes for him, grunting as he almost slips. ‘Can’t smell Kevin either.’

It doesn’t take long to find them. The copper smell of blood makes Lando cringe and the closer he gets, the stronger the scent lingers in the air. It’s not coming from Max and Daniel, which soothes Lando’s worries, but just the presence of it makes him alert and suspicious. He sees two strangers too and while Alex takes a direct approach and goes straight to Max, Lando moves to the side, coming up to the strangers from their backs just in case if any of them decides to do something funny. The smell of blood is coming out from one of them, the bigger beta, who’s clutching at his shoulder. Next to him sits small boy – Lando clocks his broken leg first, wincing at the unusual way the bone protrudes from the knee.

‘What’s happening?’ Alex asks, crouching in front of two strangers.

‘Just tell us what you know,’ Daniel presses, sounding stressed. It’s clear that this is not the first time he’s asking for it. Him and Max changed back with clothes hastily pulled on.

‘Help us first and I will tell you everything I know about the Outlanders,’ the bigger beta says.

Lando’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Bold. Max growls lowly, clearly not appreciative of this bargaining tactic. He steps closer, baring his teeth and wrapping his scent around everyone in a way that has most of the people dropping on their knees at instance. ‘I will kill you both if you don’t tell me what you know.’

It should work. It worked on everyone and haven’t Lando been immune to Max’s growl he would’ve caved in as well. But it surprisingly doesn’t work on the stranger, who only scowls: ‘You can kill me and not learn a thing about the Outlanders. Or you can help us and I’ll tell you everything I know.’

Max is two seconds away from tearing his throat, so Daniel jumps in in hopes to diffuse the situation: ‘How do you want us to help you?’

‘Get us to safety,’ the stranger says, wincing at the way Max’s scent thickens. ‘My name is Will. This is my little brother Rich. We are not- we are not a threat, obviously. We escaped- we just need to go the nearest village here. I promise, we mean no harm.’

He’s not lying. That much is evident from his scent and Lando glances at Max, gauging alpha’s reaction. ‘We are not turning around to help you get safety to the village,’ Max says at last through gritted teeth. ‘I can kill you now and go without any information or you can actually be useful and share what you know, which will help us kill those bastards. Reckon it’d be beneficial for you too.’

Guanyu and Carlos finally come closer, both looking startled at the new people and the whole situation. Guanyu moves closer to Lando, eyeing Rich’s broken leg with a pitiful look. ‘Can you help with that?’ Lando asks quietly. Guanyu nods and wonderful idea pops to Lando’s mind; he clears his throat, getting everyone’s attention: ‘We will help with Rich’s leg if you tell us everything you know.’

Will turns, meeting Lando’s gaze. His shoulder is dislocated and has a bad looking bloody gnash. Lando sees all the signs of these two traveling on their own – dirty clothes, sullen out of hunger faces, slightly crazed look in the eyes from being too alert all the time. His scent is barely out, pheromones weak just like his physical strength – it’s a wonder that he can put up a brave face in front of Max, when Lando is pretty sure he’ll wobble if he tries to stand straight. They stare at each other in silence for some moments and Lando has no idea what Will saw in his eyes, but he nods in the end, breathing a sigh of relief when everyone steps back from them.

‘Okay,’ Will mutters, gripping Rich’s shoulders tightly. ‘Okay, I will tell everything. Just help Rich, please.’

‘Are you a medic? Or a healer?’ Lando asks quietly so only Guanyu, who kneels and starts searching for something in his huge backpack, could hear.

‘Neither, but I can work with a broken bone.’ Guanyu sounds confident enough for Lando to nod and not press this issue. Beta suddenly looks up with a small smile to Lando. ‘I can also save you some time to interrogate them.’

Guanyu is all business afterwards; Lando has never seen the way broken legs can be fixed in human form, because they heal on their own when you’re a wolf. Everyone watches in silence as Guanyu tasks Will and Carlos to hold Rich, everyone flinches at the horrible sound of squelching and Rich’s shout, everyone looks away when the boy starts crying as Guanyu tries to fix the leg in a correct position, patching it up effectively. Carlos shares water with them, which Will accepts gratefully.

‘He shouldn’t move it around much,’ Guanyu instructs, standing up. ‘He actually shouldn’t it move this leg at all, so maybe rethink your idea on going to another village if you’re not planning on carrying him.’ Alex very not subtly points at Will’s gnash and Guanyu shakes his head. ‘Have nothing to treat it with.’

‘Enough of this,’ Max mutters, standing up tall and imposing. ‘Speak up.’

Will, much to everyone’s relief, is keen on keeping his word. Holding Rich by the shoulders and bearing most of his brother’s weight, he tells them how they came from the West in search of the trade ships. They kept on hopping from one village to another, never staying anywhere for long and in the last village, two days walk from here, they were ambushed by the Outlanders. ‘They are not a group or- I mean, they kind of are a group, but they are not like a pack, you know?’ Will struggles with descriptions, frowning. The oozing blood from his shoulder almost stopped, now trailing down his arm in a tiny leak. ‘Like it’s not a very coordinated…thing.’

‘What do you mean it’s not a pack?’ Daniel asks, confused.

‘You are a pack,’ Will states, pointing fingers at them. ‘You move together, you care about each other and there clearly is a leader here. But the Outlanders are… It’s like there is a core group there, consisting maybe of four or five wolves and the rest are like- I don’t know.’

‘We don’t know much about them,’ Carlos suddenly speaks up in a deep voice, averting all attention to himself. ‘But we do know that they ruin everything and have no mercy for anyone who stands against them. Could it be that the rest of wolves with them are the ones who decided to join them themselves? From different packs, different villages?’

‘Probably, yes.’ Will nods. ‘Because they are not, uh. They move on their own. Like there is no one joined aim. Me and Rich were hiding, when I noticed how they mostly just care about food but it’s not like they save it and bring it to others. They see something and take it for themselves, they eat it right there, not leaving anything for others.’

Lando frowns, listening to this. If it’s true then it only worsens their situation: it’s much easier to attack a one group, one community instead of going around trying to hunt bunch of loner wolves here and there. Or maybe it makes it easier: no group means no loyalty, means everyone looks after only themselves. He tries to imagine what it is like to be a loner and shivers just at the mere thought of not having your family, your pack with you.

‘How were you attacked?’ Max asks, not caring if this question might be too direct and wake painful memories. ‘At night? In the broad daylight? They’re in wolves form? How many of them?’

Will doesn’t act coy and for this Lando is grateful. He quietly recollects memories of the ambush, while Rich falls into a pain-induced slumber in his arms. The story he tells sounds frighteningly familiar, because Lando’s pack was attacked the same way. Out of blue, closer to the sunrise, right at the time when the guards change shifts. ‘I thought we’d be closer to the South pack,’ Will confesses. ‘Even back at home at West everyone heard about war and hunger at the Center, so we avoided that area once we started traveling. Everyone knows that trade ships mostly come to the East and South, we chose South cause everyone about the South pack village there and The Elders. I think these Outlanders are just rogue wolves who had enough of hunger and war at the Center and they decided to…’ Will trails off, not finishing his sentence.

It's not hard to finish it for him, though. The picture is crystal clear and Lando knows that all members of his group understood perfectly what Will was trying to say. Lando can picture it perfectly in his mind: small group of wolves, out of their mind with hunger and pain, fury beating inside instead of a heart. They move from village to village only to find different conditions, much needed food and they get ravenous. They don’t care about anyone, driven by blind greed and rage, they attack not out of spite, but because it’s the only meaning of survival. It’s not hard to understand that the main aim is the South pack, as their village and location is considered to be most prosperous one in the region.

‘I haven’t seen them in a human form,’ Will continues. ‘I think they moved to the South because they know how most of the packs here are not…’ He glances warily towards Max and Daniel. ‘…like you two.’

‘They think we are easy prey if we don’t turn into wolves,’ Carlos concludes and although his tone betrays nothing, slight downturn of his mouth speaks volumes of his displeasure.

Lando suspects his pack was the only one who actually fought back. Despite being caught off guard they gave as good as they could, probably surprising the Outlanders with their strength and resilience, thinning their numbers just like they did theirs. ‘And they are right,’ Will says, sighing. He leans heavier on the tree behind him, fatigue making it harder for him to stay present. ‘Humans can’t do much against the wolves almost twice their size. They are huge, bigger than you.’

Daniel bristles at that, rolling his eyes, but not denying it. That was the main problem – wolves from the Center were always known for their strength and the Outlanders indeed were bigger than any average wolves. Bigger than Max and Max is the biggest wolf in the North pack.

‘Raw power doesn’t always win,’ Carlos speaks and pulls out something from the pocket of his coat, making others freeze. ‘But this? This always wins.’

‘Where the fuck did you get it?’ Max asks, tensing up. ‘Did you have it with you the whole time?’

Lando has seen a gun only briefly before. He heard of it from Lewis, who likes to learn about new stuff from abroad; Lew told him about a long-distance shooting thing that can kill faster than claws can tear the artery. He saw it once in Max’s house, when Jos received it as a present from another pack’s head alpha. Now looking at it in Carlos’s hand, he thinks that a tool that supposedly can kill faster than his claws looks too small and innocent.

‘Is that..?’ Will asks, wide awake with all remnants of fatigue shaken off.

‘A gun? Yes.’ Carlos is almost annoyingly calm about the whole ordeal, while Max looks like he’ll combust any second now.

‘You didn’t think it’d be good to tell us that you’re carrying this thing with you before you joined us?’ Max seethes, barely controlling his anger.

‘I have no use in killing you, Verstappen.’ Carlos scowls back. ‘That’d be counterproductive. I want peace and you need to stay alive for my plan to work. Calm down, I’m not going to use this on you or your friends.’

‘What else are you hiding?’ Max steps closer and gets blocked by both Daniel and Alex, who are not interested in the conflict at all. Max turns to Guanyu, snarling: ‘You’ve got one too?’

When Guanyu nods, Max launches forward and Lando rushes to grab his hands, helping others hold him back. ‘Max, for fuck’s sake-‘

‘What else are you hiding?!’ Max’s voice booms loudly, echoing in the forest. His scent makes Lando want to close his nose, because the acid notes in it make it hard to breathe. ‘What else you and these Elders are planning-‘

‘I’m not with them!’ Carlos roars back, the mask of indifference gone. ‘I’m not one of their puppets! I’m not on your side, but I’m not their side either. I said I just want peace-‘

‘I’d shut the fuck up if I were you, mate,’ Alex mutters to Carlos, pushing on Max’s chest with his all might. ‘Don’t get him going.’

‘Max,’ Daniel snarls and pushes, pushes, pushes until Max stumbles back right into Lando’s arms. ‘Maximillian! Calm down.’ And then Daniel adds quieter only for them to hear: ‘He’s got gun in his hands, Max. Please. Let me at least take it from him and then you can go all out. But not when he has that thing.’

Lando’s muscles strain from holding Max; in his best form he’s not strong enough to do so and now when he’s not even fully recovered this task proves to be impossible. Thankfully Daniel and Alex are helping and Max slowly backtracks, calming enough to realize that Lando is behind him, so he weaves a hand around his waist, bringing him close.

‘Do you know how to use it?’ Will asks with wide eyes, staring at the gun in Carlos’s hand like it’s some wonder. ‘How do- where from-‘

‘Knew there was something shady about those trade ships,’ Max spits on the ground, fuming still. ‘So how many you got, Sainz? Enough for your small army in the village?’

Carlos is much better at controlling his anger. It’s obvious that he is raging inside, but his composure is something to admire as he grits out: ‘Enough not to require your help when the Outlanders come.’

Lando feels the way Max tenses up right next to him. His hand on his waist tightens and Lando moves discreetly, putting his hand on alpha’s back. The only bargaining chip their pack had against The Elders was their ability to protect and now with the guns, their main strength was not gone. The balance is heavily inclined to the South pack’s side and Lando is not sure how to handle this situation in the best manner. Thank god they have Alex though, who once Max calmed down steps up, glaring daggers at Carlos: ‘We both know that you still need our help to fight them off, so I’m kindly asking you again to shut the fuck up and be for real.’

The tension in the air can be cut with a knife. Max calmed down only enough to stop the murdering intent, not the fueling rage building inside him and Carlos looks five seconds away from actually loading the gun and firing it up right into Max’s head. Daniel’s tall frame fully covers Max from Carlos’s view and Lando carefully maneuvers their head alpha away from harm, also coming to stand next to Daniel.

‘Carlos,’ Guanyu calls, glancing back and forth between him and Max. ‘Carlos, c’mon. Peace, right? We all want the same thing here.’ That seems to do the trick: Carlos hides the gun back into the pocket and bubble of tension bursts, making it easier to breathe.

‘And what you two gonna do?’ Alex asks Will. He motions at sleeping Rich in his arms: ‘He is immobile for few weeks, at least. You’re too weak to carry him.’

‘There should be a village nearby,’ Will answers tiredly. ‘I don’t mean the South pack one. I heard there was this like nomadic tribe? Full of healers, apparently. Some people from the previous village said they passed them recently, so they should be somewhere not far. I was hoping to find them.’

‘Maybe Kev found them,’ Daniel mutters, looking around. ‘We lost him a while ago.’

‘How are you planning to move?’ Guanyu asks, frowning.

‘Not planning to, mate.’ Will chuckles, shaking his head. ‘Just gonna stay here for a while. Will see then. And you? Where are you planning to go? The village we ran from is two days distance from here and some of these Outlanders might still be there. If you’re looking for them.’

Lando glances at Max. Ultimately, he’s the one who’ll decide their fate and Lando is ready to just follow through with his orders. Max stares at the darkening sky and doesn’t say anything for several moments. Lando can almost see all the weight of responsibility on his shoulders, can feel its heaviness and the way it drags alpha down. He wishes he could help, wishes Max would just share and not carry it all alone, but he knows that each of them has their own crest, their own debt to make peace with, so Lando stays back.

‘Which way is that village?’ Max asks in a hoarse voice. Will shows the way, adding few details that will help them not to get lost. Max nods and turns to Carlos: ‘You have only one gun for yourself? Or did you bring a spare?’

‘Two more.’ Carlos answers, patting his bag.

Max turns to all of them with the face of someone who has already decided and who won’t be swayed under any circumstances: ‘We are going to that village.’

Will’s mouth opens in shock, Guanyu’s face pales slightly. Carlos inhales loudly and Alex sighs in reluctant acceptance. Daniel catches Lando’s gaze and the unspoken sense of comradery passes between them. In that one fleeting gaze was everything: the understanding, mutual agreement and one clear decision that they don’t even need to discuss. Max briefly looks at both of them and startles, when Daniel loudly grabs him by the shoulder, grinning too wide. ‘As you say, Maxy,’ he says, smiling.

Max looks a bit annoyed, his left eyes twitches but he relaxes instantly when he feels Lando’s hand on his other shoulder. He turns to look and when icy blue eyes meet hazel ones, Lando smiles reassuringly, sincerely. He feels Max’s unspoken need and he’s ready to give it to him: ‘You lead, we follow.’ Lando squeezes his shoulder for a good measure. ‘Always.’

It's barely visible, but Lando feels it – the barely there way his muscles unclench. Max doesn’t smile, but he gives them curt nod and it’s enough for both of them.

=+=

It’s snowing heavily. Lando is not a big fan of snow; he doesn’t mind the cold, but the way snow makes everything slippery and doesn’t help with visibility annoys Lando the most. It’s alright in the mornings, but the closer they get to lunch, the heavier the snow falls and Lando has a feeling that it’s not going to stop anytime soon. It doesn’t help their speed at all, considering how Carlos and Guanyu are not transforming and Lando is just a tad annoyed for having to be the one to stay behind with them. Even Alex at one point simply changed without a word, moving with Max and Daniel, leaving Lando with the South pack members.

‘Do you want to learn?’ Guanyu suddenly asks during their small lunch break.

Alex, Max and Daniel are out hunting, while Carlos stays a bit further, rummaging through his bag for something. ‘Learn what?’

‘How to use a gun.’

Lando whips his head so fast he thinks his neck might crane. ‘What?’

Guanyu doesn’t answer verbally. Instead, he pulls out a gun from his backpack and comes closer to Lando. Guanyu doesn’t look like a threat, but Lando still flinches a little, forcing himself to stay still and not act like the guy in front of him is his enemy. Guanyu is calm and doesn’t make any rash moves in order not to spook Lando, which alpha appreciates. ‘A bit heavy, but you’ll get used to it,’ Guanyu starts, confidently securing the gun in Lando’s hand. ‘Hold it firmly, yes. Do you know anything about guns? I can explain everything from the start.’

Lando’s head swims a little. He stares at Guanyu, trying to understand beta’s mind. Why is helping him? Why is he willingly putting this killing thing into Lando’s hand? Does he trust him that much? Does he think that Lando is so good that he won’t use it against him afterwards? Guanyu continues explaining like he’s not noticing anything amiss although it is impossible not to feel the weight of Lando’s gaze on him. ‘So yeah, that’s how bullets work. Now, coming to the gun itself. Here’s the trigger. You should push-‘

‘Why are you doing this?’ Lando interrupts, not being able to take the uncertainty.

Guanyu pauses. His fingers tremble a little where they are wrapped around Lando’s palm and his big round eyes look up. Lando doesn’t know him well enough to understand all the storm of emotion happening in beta’s eyes, but he can clearly see hesitation. Guanyu looks down at their joined hands, chewing on his bottom lip. Lando waits patiently, keeping in mind that this guy right here is Oscar’s friend.

‘You’ll need it in the future,’ Guanyu finally says, looking up and meeting Lando’s eyes. ‘If it helps you then good.’

Lando blinks. This… can’t be it. ‘Guanyu-‘

‘If it helps you protect those who you care for,’ beta interrupts, squeezing his hand. ‘Then good.’

Lando swallows. It takes approximately three seconds for him to understand what Guanyu means. ‘It’s about Oscar, isn’t it?’ He asks in a quiet whisper.

Guanyu smiles and it’s a shy, sincere smile. He nods gingerly. Lando huffs a laugh in disbelief. It’s good to know Oscar has some friends like that. He nods and adjusts his grip on the gun, smirking at Guanyu with an uplifted mood: ‘Show me, then.’

=+=

On the third day Lando’s basically thrumming out of his skin with the need to transform. His lessons with Guanyu surely distract him, but it’s not that fun when he could fire the gun only several times. At one point yesterday the heavy snow turned into a blizzard and that put a stop to their plans of reaching the village at a high speed. When the blizzard reaches its peak, making it impossible to see further than your outstretched hand, they all take a pause, looking for any kind of shelter. It’s easier when you’re a wolf, but Max is adamant of at least one person staying in human form for Carlos and Guanyu and Lando petulantly accepts his fate. He is used to harsh winters in the North, so the blizzard is nothing new, but he can tell how Carlos and Guanyu struggle and has no idea how to help them. Max and Daniel stay a bit further for patrolling, while Alex sticks closer to Lando.

‘We can transform and help them,’ Lando suggests to fellow alpha. ‘With our body heat.’

‘Max will chew our heads off for helping these two,’ Alex mutters, but that’s not a rejection. He glances at suffering Guanyu and Carlos, whose heads can barely be seen with the way they’re huddled together, clutching at their coats like they can help them. ‘But if we don’t, they’ll probably die. So.’

‘So?’ Lando asks, lips already twitching into a smile.

Alex’s eyes soften as he stares at smiling Lando. ‘So, let’s do it, muppet.’

If Lando could, he’d leap in the air already in the wolf form from just pure happiness of being one with his wolf again. He struts to Guanyu confidently and tries to make the beta understand his intentions by pushing into his back with his snout. It takes few tries, but Guanyu gets what he wants in the end, letting himself lean on Lando, who positions comfortably on the ground. His hands clutch at Lando’s fur hesitantly at first, but when Lando rumbles appreciatively, he buries himself deeper.

‘Thank you.’ Guanyu whispers into his fur, loud enough for Lando to hear.

Lando rumbles again, closing his eyes.

=+=

Kevin finds them at the end of the third day and tells them everything about the nomadic tribe Will told them about on who he bumped on his way. He tells them that they are moving here slowly but surely, not that bothered by the snow. No one is that bothered by it apart from Max, whose annoyance is reaching all time high levels. The only good thing is that if they are not moving then the Outlanders are not moving either. That seems to do very little to appease Max, though.

=+=

‘Fucking shit,’ Lando curses, trying his best to quickly get dressed after he changed back to the human form. ‘It’s so fucking-‘

‘Stop cursing,’ Alex chastises him because that’s what George would’ve done and he just. Misses George. So much. ‘And hurry up, we have guests.’

The guests are few families that make up nomadic tribe Kevin told them about. Alex never met any wolves that prefer to live in such way, so he is intrigued to say the least. Daniel is the only one who stays in the wolf form, while everyone gathers around the strangers who put up their makeshift homes with such speed that even Max looks mildly impressed.

‘You walked whole night through that storm?’ Carlos asks in disbelief. ‘How-‘

‘We were walking in your direction since Kevin found us. Little storm can’t stop us,’ one of their alphas, Harry, answers.

Alex glances back at Lando, whose eyebrows are somewhere at his hairline at the words ‘little storm’. It was a full-on blizzard for two days straight that calmed down relatively just one hour ago and even Alex can’t find it in himself to say something on the ‘little storm’. He never considered his pack soft, but looking now at the nomadic tribe he can’t help but think that maybe they are.

Max looks like he just ate a bunch of sour lemons and Kevin explains why he came with them in a tow: ‘They met different wolves and can tell us more about the Outlanders.’

‘And you just agreed?’ Max squints at them suspiciously. ‘What are you getting out of it?’

‘Should there always be something to gain?’ Harry asks, not looking very bothered by Max’s lack of trust at all. ‘We are moving to the West; we’d walk in this direction either way. If on our way we can somehow help, I’ll gladly do it.’

Alex doesn’t question it, but Max doesn’t let them up so easily. Alex only half-listens to the rest of the conversation; he doesn’t have the same trust issues as Max does, nor does he believe that everyone is after something. He knows it’s been engraved into Max’s head, knows it’s a big part of what makes Max a solid, good head alpha. He also knows when he’s not needed, so with a sigh he trudges back, sitting close to the makeshift house of Harry and lets himself think of something else. It’s no surprise that whenever he lets his mind wander it always comes to George. In all honesty thoughts of his mate never really leave Alex’s mind; George always stays permanently at the background of his consciousness. It’s like an itch that you can’t scratch cause it’s under your skin, permanently and Alex wouldn’t have it any other way.

Is George okay? Is he eating well? How is he sleeping at night without Alex’s arms holding him? Is he overworking himself to not think of Alex and his mission? Did he get any new visions? When Alex closes his eyes all he sees is George. George and his magnificent eyes with ridiculously long eyelashes. George and his wild curls, impossibly soft to touch. George and his stubborn chin, his thin lips, his sculpted by the Gods face. George and his cackling laughter, his tender kisses, his fierce love. There are so many things about George that have Alex’s heart sings with longing; even though he knows he’s in the right place now, it still hurts to be this far from his mate who he knows is very nervous because of recent visions. It’s not hard to guess what the visions are about, and surprisingly enough Alex is not afraid of some uncertain death lurking around him. He’s not scared of getting hurt, he’s not scared of dying too in some weird sense; he’s scared of leaving George alone. It’s not a secret what happens when one of the mate dies and Alex doesn’t want this for George. The only way George can escape the awful fate is if he mates with someone else and the probability of that happening is non-existent, basically. Alex wonders what it makes of him if knowing this fact makes him happy. A bad person, probably. A selfish one. Shouldn’t he want George to stay alive even if he chooses another mate? That’s probably the right answer here. But Alex is horrible and he doesn’t want George to ever bear anyone else’s mark on his neck apart from his own. Alpha sighs again and gently touches his mating bite, smiling at the memories. All of the Gods above, he can’t wait to see George again.

‘What is happening?’ Carlos asks, coming over to Alex. ‘Your friends are being all weird.’

Alex opens his mouth to reply that they are always weird, when he catches it. A completely new scent, different in its nature – another wolf. He tenses, looking around. Kevin signs him to stay put, while Max shifts into the wolf, running to stand close to Daniel, who is staring ahead at the dense forest.

‘Get inside, everyone.’ Kevin commands, addressing few people from the nomadic tribe, who were standing outside. ‘And don’t come out until we call for you.’

‘What is happening?’ Carlos repeats his question, louder this time. His instincts are sleeping, and he doesn’t feel what everyone from the North pack does. ‘What-‘

‘We have a company,’ Kevin replies. ‘At least two wolves.’

‘Three,’ Lando corrects, hurriedly pulling Guanyu up. His senses were always sharper. He turns to the beta, ushering him to go: ‘You will only distract everyone, get inside too.’

Alex swallows. He doesn’t see anyone, but he feels the presence of other wolves on his skin, feels them circling, feels how air shifts with new tension. Carlos doesn’t look like he’s planning to hide and when Lando announces that he’s going to shift, Alex plans to do the same only to be stopped by Kevin. ‘I will shift, but you stay.’ Kevin very not subtly glances towards Carlos. ‘Stay, Alex.’

It's not exactly an order and Alex can surely refuse it, but it’s Kevin and Alex can only nod even when everything in him itches to shift and be helpful. Guanyu stays outside but hovers close to Harry’s house, clutching at the gun in his hand with a nervous expression. Carlos looks much more composed and the easy way he grabs the gun and crouches a little, looking around makes Alex think that maybe this is not the first time Carlos used this gun on a wolf. Something uncomfortable settles in his gut at this thought.

‘Be careful,’ Alex mouths to Lando, who winks at him before shifting and running off to Max and Daniel.

For a moment Alex allows himself to stare at the three gorgeous wolves standing side by side, all different in size and color, but same in everything else. He looks at Daniel’s fully black fur, the way he towers over Lando and moves slightly to the side, covering younger alpha with his body. He then looks at Max and his sheer size as a wolf never fails to make Alex gasp – he’s huge and his fur is so thin, you can see all the muscles shift on his back at any movement. He then stares at Lando’s chestnut colored fur, his slim and flexible form, can feel his eagerness all the way from where he’s standing. Alex casts one last look at him and thinks that he’ll be alright; Daniel and Max will make sure of it.

‘I hope you have a good aim,’ he mutters, addressing Carlos. ‘I think it goes without saying that your bullets should not be aimed at our guys.’

Carlos snorts unattractively, glancing at Alex with a raised eyebrow. ‘I’ll try.’

The urge to smash Carlos’s head on the tree is very high, but the low rumble from Max gets his attention. Alex sees them then – two lone figures, coming slowly to their side. Their forms are not big enough to belong to the Outlanders or anyone from the Center, which is a relief; but the way they circle, coming closer without hesitation, is not a good sign. Usually, wolves act this way only when-

‘Shit.’ Carlos moves, aiming his gun to the right.

Alex glances to the side and tenses at the sight of another wolf coming closer to them from the right. Kevin growls in a warning, moving to their side and blocking Carlos with his body. Alex’s heart – a wild, untamed thing – starts rabbiting in his chest, breaking his ribs little by little from the nerves. He knows Max. He knows Max so well, knows that the second their head alpha will feel threatened he is going to pounce with no regards to anything else. Alex sends a quick prayer to the Gods above, but it goes unanswered when the wolf closest to Max bares his teeth at him. Alex knows Max. Alex knows Max too well, so when head alpha launches with an aggravated growl, he only sighs and shifts too, not listening to Kevin’s command. If this is how it goes down, then Alex will play his part too. The last thought that runs through his mind is that he can’t wait to see George and tell him what an easily triggered idiot Maximillian Verstappen is.

=+=

There’s loud howl from Max after his paws pinned rogue wolf’s head on the ground and then disgusting sound of cracking skull under pressure followed. Daniel had the other wolf’s teeth digging to his leg, while Lando launched on his back, trying to help his pack mate. Kevin and Alex cornered the third wolf, who was snapping at them in panic, gazing from one to another, not knowing who to focus on. Alex’s spine was tingling with pinpricks of pain from being thrown around, but he was holding up on good, adrenaline pumped through his veins, giving him more strength. He breathed heavily, discreetly trying to move closer to Kevin, seeking older wolf’s support. He got distracted briefly by the thought of George, how he’d hate to see Alex in any kind of pain. And that brief distraction was enough.

It all happened too quickly. The wolf launches at Kevin with a growl and Alex darts to their side, when he notices it – another figure, much smaller, rushing through the woods. Carlos shouts. For a second the sound of fired gun is all he can hear – ringing in his ears is so loud Alex fears he might turn deaf. Then, ironically enough, everything happens in slow motions. Alex watches Kevin fall with a grunt, snapping his jaw at the other wolf and latching at his leg like it’s his last meal. He turns and sees him – another wolf, not a pup, but not a fully grown one either – how he rushes past Carlos until he catches up with Guanyu. Alex jumps before he thinks of doing it, his body following instinctual need to protect faster than he acknowledges it. He sees it so clearly then – how young wolf darts at Guanyu with an open jaw. How Guanyu’s eyes widen in fear, how his hands tremble as he hurriedly aims the gun at the attacker. Alex doesn’t think about anything when he jumps right at the wolf, pulling them both into the snow and not letting the youngster get out freely. He uses his weight to push him, but sharp teeth close around his paw and Alex grunts in pain, jumping back but not far enough to lose the wolf. He hears shouting. Another gunshot blasts too close to his comfort, but he doesn’t care. Tumbling in a mess with a young wolf, Alex tries to get a hold of his head, biting at his ears and neck, failing to notice that they’re tumbling straight at Guanyu. Guanyu, who’s scared and panicked and has very, very unsteady hands. Guanyu, who has never in his life been a part of the fight and now, watching two wolves rush at him, loses his focus. When he pulls the trigger this time, it’s not done with a clear aim and controlled move. It’s done out of fear, of heart-wrenching panic that gripped his heart and refused to let go. When Guanyu shoots, he closes his eyes, bracing himself for the inevitable impact when both wolves collide with him. The sound of a bullet tearing through the air is quiet. The sound of the howl torn up from Alex’s chest is astonishingly loud.

=+=

It's numb at first. Alex only vaguely realizes that bullet hit him on his right side, just feels this brash impact that makes his grip on the other wolf loosen. And then-

It burns.

=+=

Alex doesn’t know how much time has passed or is it even passing. For him it froze, everything froze apart from the excruciating burning on his right side. His vision starts dancing and he tries to breathe calmly but he can’t, his heart is pumping blood in an overdrive mode, and he doesn’t- he can’t move. He hears growling, shouting and feels something trickling down his right side, something warm that smells suspiciously like blood. He doesn’t know where the other wolf is, doesn’t know where Guanyu is, because he can’t turn around and look. He hears another gunshot and a pitiful howling that follows. It's the worst thing ever – to be conscious but not able to move. There’s more screaming and then Carlos’s face appears in front of him, brows scrunched up in worry. He looks over Alex’s form in silence and then catches his gaze: ‘You can hear me, right? You’re lucid?’

Alex nods, feeling temperature rising in his body. As wolves they always run hot, but what’s happening right now is beyond any norms. With a jolt he realizes that he can’t transform, his body is not letting him.

‘Why aren’t you- can’t you like, change? Back?’ Carlos asks and the urgency in his tone is a dead giveaway that Alex is fucked. ‘Shit. Like this I can’t- stay awake, yeah? Just don’t nod off. Guanyu- Zhou!’

He can’t change. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t. Panic floods and takes over, Alex jerks harshly and that only intensifies the burning, which now feels like the fire is tearing him from inside. He can’t change and he can’t move and he can’t reach George anyhow. This is horrible, this is the absolutely worst –

‘Get away from him!’ It’s Lando. Lando’s face with his naked upper half appears in his vision and then two warm hands settle on his head, cradling it gently. ‘Alex, Alex, I need you to change back. Do you hear me? Change back. Right now, Alex, right now!’

Lando sounds worried. Lando smells worried too, Alex notes. He feels heavy. The pain makes it hard to concentrate on anything else and he feels so, so heavy. His eyes close and hands on his head suddenly squeeze him tight: ‘No, Alex, no- you need to change back. Fuck- please, change back. Alex. Alex!’

George, Alex thinks, before succumbing to the pain. George.

=+=

The bullet is still inside and the more it stays there, the more it poisons Alex’s body. It can interfere with bodily functions, can cause infection and potential internal organ damage. This is what Harry says or at least this is what Lando understood from what was said. He can’t really wrap his mind around it all. ‘We need to head back,’ he murmurs to no one in particular.

‘There’s nothing we can do here,’ Harry says apologetically. ‘The bullet needs to be removed, but none of us can perform such high risk-‘

‘He’s already dying,’ Kevin interrupts. ‘Isn’t it better to try at least? We’re wasting our time.’

‘We should head back.’ Lando repeats, louder this time. The silence falls upon his suggestion, and he looks up, finding Max amidst the crowd. ‘We should head back.’

Lando knows that Max can see it in his eyes – that if no one agrees he will somehow drag Alex’s body back to the village on his own. He can’t fucking breathe properly when Alex is- Lando takes a shuddering gulp of air. Is this how everyone felt when he was out cold after the fight with a rogue wolf?

‘It will take at least three days,’ Carlos speaks up. ‘And it’s a best case scenario if it won’t start snowing again. And in three days we don’t know if he-‘

‘Don’t finish that sentence.’ Lando cuts off in a deadly tone. His eyes are locked on Max’s as he repeats for the fourth time: ‘We. Should. Head. Back.’

Max stares back at him with a poker face, mask of impassiveness that gives nothing away. But Lando knows him, knows that Max is actively thinking through all of the variants. What do they have to lose? They’re tired already and this fight with some rogues from the West did not help their form; they can’t possibly go meet any of the Outlanders like this. At the moment the disparity between packs seems to be the most pressing issue, the sheer number of rogue wolves wandering around is the biggest concern. Daniel says as much, moving to Lando so he can lean on him a little. ‘I don’t think it’s wise, Max. We either stay here and rest up or go back, make a new plan with all the new information we learned and prepare for an attack.’

Lando hates how weak he is. Hates how Daniel had to help him with another wolf, hates how he wouldn’t have made it without another alpha. Hates how he was so into his own fight that he didn’t notice another wolf, didn’t manage to warn Alex. Hates how he couldn’t be there, couldn’t help, couldn’t –

‘Do you think he’ll handle the movement?’ Lando asks in a tight voice, addressing Harry.

Harry nods. ‘He should, he looked like he was a strong one. But I don’t know exactly where the bullet got stuck, so it is still risky.’

It’s enough. A small glimmer of hope is all Lando needs; if there’s a small hope that Alex can survive this then Lando will make sure he does. He doesn’t know how to live with himself if he doesn’t.

‘We’ll take the stretcher. The one you have.’ Daniel says and it’s not a request or an ask, it’s a statement of fact. Harry nods, because it’s clear on Daniel’s face that if that stretcher won’t be given freely, he is going to take it by force. ‘Good.’

Lando stares at Max. Lando will die for him if needed, but he’s going to disobey his order if he doesn’t agree with heading back. Lando doesn’t ask or beg; he knows his eyes are saying enough. He knows it’s written in the tight set of his jaw, in the tense line of his shoulders – he will not leave Alex here. Not a chance.

Max’s mouth twitches, he frowns but then sighs deeply. ‘Let’s head back.’

‘Now?’ Kevin asks.

Lando nods. Max stares at him and nods back. ‘Yes. Now.’

Notes:

this 10k chapter has my google search looking really weird with all my questions about bullets and getting shot lmao anyways!! taking into account the way everyone reacted at the last chapter i am kind scared of how you guys will react to this one, but!! have hope. hope always dies last, right? ;)

as always, please let me know what you think. i hope none of you are frustrated with the pace of the story. i keep on trying to move it but then i need to add different pov's and i guess it gets kinda stuck in some places :/ it'll move forward bubs, i promise!! i just need everyone back in the village for the next plot line.
thank you for your love for this fic. means the WORLD, you make me so happy with your comments you have no idea.

now, i'm curious, what do you think of:
- the outlanders and how it will play out
- alex's future

have the best rest of the week sweets, come talk to me on tumblr :) - nini <3

Chapter 12: interlude: back

The axe is heavy in his hands and quiet ‘whoosh’ sound that it makes splitting the air in two is all that can be heard at this early hour. His gloves make it harder to have a sturdier grip on the handle, but Oscar stubbornly persists, tightening his fingers around the tool as hard as he can. The wood in front of him cracks at the top only and after the second swing it divides into two, both parts falling on different sides right at Oscar’s feet. He methodically brings out another and puts it on the designated area, gripping the axe again. Whoosh. Another crack on the surface that runs deep within. Whoosh. The log doesn’t split, as stubborn as Oscar in its desire to stay intact. Oscar stares at the half-split wood in front of him, stares at the place where it’s still intact and throws axe on the ground in exasperation.

It's been two days. Two days of uncharacteristically warm weather, bright sun and no wind. Two days of staying at his mother’s bed during the day and rushing to George’s side at nights. Two days of ‘I’m not sure why she’s not getting better, Oscar, let us to give her something else’ and listening to George’s uneven breathing, wiping sweat from his forehead when he stresses from another nightmare. Two days of Oscar not sleeping a wink, carrying so much stuff inside that he’s not sure how he’s standing because it’s too heavy. Two days of Oscar battling away all of the thoughts – the haunting ones, the ones that will make him cry if he even dares to think of them, the ones that start to seem mot real with each hour – and concentrating on routinely tasks to escape the prison of his own mind.

‘That’s enough wood, I think.’ Charles doesn’t wait for the reply and comes closer anyway, sitting next to Oscar on the bench. He rubs his eyes and stifles a yawn. ‘Too fucking early.’

‘Go back to sleep then.’ Oscar can’t even push himself to be civil. He doesn’t need anyone right now; he’s awful company when he gets into those moods.

‘I’ll stay with you.’

Oscar doesn’t say anything to this. He doesn’t need pitying look and has no patience for any kind of conversation – he simply sands up, grabs the axe and gets to work. The chopping wood thing is useful, at least. That way Oscar knows he’s doing something good and it’s monotonous enough for him to turn off his brain and just repeat the same motions. It’s hard enough to make him sweat too, which is good; he’s been getting restless lately and only some kind of physical labor can help with the growing itch inside.

‘How’s your mom?’ Charles asks after a while.

‘Same.’

Oscar doesn’t mean to be rude, but he can’t offer any other answer to this question. His mom’s fever passed, but she had no strength and mostly stayed all day in bed, not even having an appetite. Esteban and Laura have no idea what’s going on, but they gave him more pills that they took from the traders and Oscar hopes for at least some positive effect from them. It’s just the flu, but Nicole looks at him like it’s so much more, like she might not get up from the bed. Sometimes she stares at Oscar and squeezes his hand in a way that makes his throat tighten and has him frantically feeding her anything from the food to the pills just so he can avoid meeting her knowing eyes. He is not ready to face the truth, not yet.

‘And how’s George?’

This question comes out less sincerely: it’s fuller of curiosity than of worry. ‘Fine.’ Oscar’s tone is clipped at best. He glances at Charles when he picks up another piece of wood. ‘Why?’

‘Just asking. You care about him, so.’

At least that is not a lie; Oscar’s happy that his senses got sharper and he can easily sniff out everything from the South pack members just by their scents alone. Charles may not care about George, but he does care about Oscar – his almond shaped eyes are watching beta with unhidden worry. Just the fact that he came out at ungodly hour to sit next to him speaks volumes and Oscar allows himself to relax just a little, to drop the act of stoicism for few moments. ‘Sorry,’ he says gruffly. ‘Not in the best mood these days.’

Charles nods in understanding. ‘I can imagine. I sent Fernando out to look at George, did that help? He’s the most knowledgeable on mating and bonds.’

It’s hard to say whether that helped or not, because Fernando himself doesn’t know the full answer. George’s mating bite turned black from purple but then got back to the previous shade with no scarring. Oscar’s mother bite instantly turned black and scarred in this ugly way when scars start to look more like incisions. This didn’t happen to George which, if to trust Fernando, means that Alex is not dead. But the bite is still purple and when Oscar came yesterday, he noticed how it started darkening at the edges and, well. One doesn’t have to be knowledgeable in mating bites to know what it means.

‘He helped, yes.’ Oscar settles on this, not wanting to dive into that topic, because it feels a little like betraying George.

Charles hums. A beat passes and then: ‘And how are you?’

Oscar blinks. The question catches him off guard; how is he? Oscar didn’t give this a thought. It feels almost selfish to think about himself with all what’s happening. Who cares how he is when his mother looks at him like she’s seeing him for the last time? When George is barely lucid, fighting nightmare after nightmare, a pale ghost of himself? When Lando is-

‘Oscar?’ Charles calls, frowning. He stands up and gingerly reaches out to touch beta’s shoulder, but Oscar recoils from his touch like he’s been burned. ‘Oscar, what-‘

‘Sorry,’ Oscar bites out, shaking his head. The inner turmoil that he ignored for so long threatens to spill and he bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying out. ‘Sorry, I just- need to be alone. I think it’s better for you to leave.’

‘No.’ Charles sounds resolute and the way he looks at Oscar makes it clear that omega will not leave him alone. ‘I’m staying. And we’re talking because if we don’t I fear you’ll do something… drastic.’

Last bit makes Oscar chuckle darkly. ‘Like what, Charles?’

To Charles, apparently, this is not funny. He fixes Oscar with an intense glare: ‘Like running after them.’ He bites his lower lip and adds in a lower voice: ‘After Lando.’

The words settle into the valley of his heart and cut deep. Oscar shudders, not from the cold, but from how Charles saw right through him. His mouth opens to retaliate, to deny or dismiss this accusation, but nothing comes out. Oscar is not used to people being right about him, people see right through him before Lando. He stares at Charles’s eyes and looks away, not being able to bear the silent judgement there. Omega’s eyes are practically screaming with it’s the truth, isn’t it? and Oscar has nothing to say. Yes, it’s the truth. In the end, it’s all about him being here and them being there, about Lando being there. And it’s wrong, so wrong that Oscar is surprised how the universe is still standing because the amount of anger in him surely can break it into two. He shouldn’t have let Lando go. Alex is at least heavily injured, and Oscar knows Lando, knows his alpha was somewhere close to him because abandoning his friends is against his nature and that means he might be heavily injured too or. Or worse. He might be-

‘You’re thinking about it,’ Charles says in an accusing tone. ‘You’re… actually thinking about going after them.’ When Oscar doesn’t say anything, Charles exhales the breath he’s been holding, shocked. ‘Oscar. Oscar. You can’t be serious.’

Can’t he? What exactly is stopping him? Oscar looks at George and thinks that at least he knows. It’s an awful thought, but even when George’s mating bite is all purple and he feels horrifying agony from it, at least he knows that something happened to Alex. Oscar knows nothing because he’s not an omega, because Lando didn’t claim him, because there’s no mating bite that connects them to each other in ways too intimate for anyone else to understand. Oscar would’ve taken agony from the mating bite over this unknowing limbo any time. The unknowing part kills him, the number of possibilities (every single one worse than the last) are endless, and his mind has never been his friend at moments like this one – Oscar is pretty sure that he’ll drive himself insane by the end of the week if he doesn’t get any news.

‘It’s not like I’m useful here,’ Oscar bites out at last, crumbling under Charles’s stare. ‘I can go and-‘

‘And what?’ Omega interrupts him, eyes flashing with anger. ‘And do what? You can’t even fight, you can’t transform into wolf, you can’t even fire a gun for fuck’s sake because you missed lessons from Carlos. If you think you’re useless here, how will you be useful there?’

The words sting more than they should. Oscar purses his lips into a thin line, avoiding omega’s gaze. Charles grabs him by the shoulders forcefully, surprising Oscar with his strength; he shakes him a little, annoyed. ‘You’re taking care of your mother, of George, of all the pups. How can you call yourself useless? You’re chopping wood for the pack, you’re still giving lessons to the pups. How is that useless?’

Oscar doesn’t know how to explain to Charles that all of these things feel like nothing. Doesn’t know how to express his restlessness, this weird essence that he should be doing something else, something much bigger than this and yet he’s stuck here. Maybe he should be with Lando, maybe he should be proactive and do something about antis group, maybe he should come up with a brilliant plan on how to get rid of the Outlanders once and for all. Oscar just knows that he should be doing something and he’s just here, chopping wood, teaching pups, taking care of two people who are both too into their own despair to actually notice him. Oscar wants to take an action that will actually count for something, that will change something and his own inability to do so gets on his nerves more than anything.

‘You are much better help for Lando here,’ Charles adds, knowingly ushing at all of the most important Oscar’s buttons. ‘How would he feel if he learns that you went after him all alone? He’d go crazy with worry.’

‘If he’s even out there,’ Oscar mutters and instantly bites his tongue.

Charles’s eyes widen and then his whole expression softens. ‘Of course he’s out there, Oscar.’

‘How do you know?’ Oscar shouts, not being able to hide it inside anymore. ‘He might be just like Alex or he might be dead or he might be lying under the snow and-‘

This is what it’s all about at the core. Oscar can’t stand not knowing what is happening to Lando, can’t stop the fear from gripping his heart and pulling it apart; the thought of losing Lando when he only just found him is incomprehensible. His chest feels too tight, and he stumbles back when Charles catches him with steady hands and pitying look. ‘Oscar… I didn’t know you were- that you two are- um.’ Charles falters and eventually settles on: ‘I didn’t know he meant that much to you.’

Oscar’s eyes burn with unshed tears. He wants to laugh, wants to tell Charles that he didn’t know this either, that this realization hit him just recently even though he should’ve known it from the start. Lando is the reason Oscar can feel his wolf again, Lando is the reason he started opening up, Lando is his… mate. Or he could’ve been if Oscar were an omega. Lando told him he wanted him to be his mate, but it was in the haze of the moment, when alpha’s fingers were deep inside Oscar, when Oscar was scent drunk. And Oscar, pathetically enough, can’t stop thinking about it. Non-traditional couples exist, but can they mate? Is it possible for him and Lando? He wants. Oh, how he wants. 

‘If you want, we can go to the temple,’ Charles suggests, eager to do anything to make beta feel better. ‘We can pray to the Gods, we can perform some rituals even if it’ll make you feel better.’

The temple closest to the Elder’s residence is a not a place Oscar frequents to. There was a time when he spent all of his free time there, praying for his father’s return, praying to see his sisters alive and healthy. Those prayers were never answered, his pleas ignored and forgotten. Oscar hasn’t been there ever since. He sags, exhausted and defeated; he lowers on the ground close to all the wood pieces. Reaching out, he caresses them gently, thinking over omega’s words. Charles sits next to him, encountering last time he was at the temple and how peaceful it made him feel. Peaceful – Oscar pauses at that word, mulling it over. Last time he felt peaceful was in Lando’s arms the day before he left. Last time Oscar felt happy was also in Lando’s arms. God, everything is so simple in the plain sight, Oscar feels dumb from having all the evidence presented to him and him still having doubts of whether what he feels for Lando is real or not. It’s real. It’s the realest thing Oscar ever had in his whole life.

‘At least it won’t hurt, you know? Praying can never hurt,’ Charles argues. ‘I’m not gonna say that it always helps or works, but it never hurts.’

Oscar doesn’t know what possesses him to do it. He grabs red beans from his home after checking on his mom and goes to the temple with unsteady legs. It’s a small building that has faint smell of burning all around. Oscar pushes through several wooden benches until he reaches an improvised stand full of small sculptures of their deities. Oscar goes past several sculptures, pauses only in front of the blue sculpture of the God Tano. ‘So,’ Oscar starts, unsurely. He doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to say and the figure in front of him is not helping at all. It just stares back passively at him, which stupidly enough only fuels Oscar’s frustration. ‘Right. You chose Lando. You. He didn’t ask for it, but you chose him yourself.’

Oscar is not sure where he is going with this. All he knows is that Lando is an alpha who held him close and told him that he smells like his favorite flowers, that he smells like home. It should mean something, right? All he knows is that Lando is an alpha who made Oscar feel more in one month of knowing each other than anyone else did in his whole life: from anger to hurt to fear to joy to… love. It has to mean something. It must. And all he knows is that Lando branded itself in Oscar’s heart, who didn’t shy away when Oscar called him his but instead seemed to be proud of it, who kissed Oscar like Oscar’s lips are getaways to heaven.

‘Bring him back,’ Oscar asks – demands. He grabs handful of red beans and throws them on the sculpture. ‘I have never asked you anything, but I am asking now. Bring him back to me. Alive and well.’

Oscar doesn’t bargain because he has nothing to offer. His life for Lando’s? It’s not going to work, he knows that much. And there’s nothing he can possibly give apart from his heart, but he knows God Tano doesn’t care for it either. Sighing, he throws more beans on the ground and takes a step closer. Maybe it’s bad to demand something from the God. It’s probably arrogant and ungrateful, so Oscar changes the tactics.

He drops on his knees, looking up at the small statue. ‘Even if you can’t bring him back to me, just… keep him safe. Safe from all the troubles, from enemies, from the wrath of other Gods. Can you do that? I can’t lose him too. Not him, please.’

Oscar shivers when the sudden wind bursts through the open windows. It scatters the beans haphazardly on the floor and ruffles his hair in some sort of whisper. He closes his eyes and lets himself feel it – the gentle air brushing along him. He hopes it means that for the first time he has been heard.

=+=

They don’t hunt because hunting means stopping and stopping means wasting time. They cannot afford it, so they don’t hunt. Guanyu and Carlos share with them food they packed and even that one is eaten hastily. They find Will and Rich right at the same place they found them with a big fat rabbit at their legs that Will hunted down. Lando tells them to come with them to the village and Max growls lowly in his throat to which Lando growls back, angry and vehement.

‘I don’t want to cause you trouble,’ Will mutters to Lando, when Carlos and Guanyu help Rich stand. ‘We are not worth you fighting with your head alpha.’

‘I’m not fighting with him and you’re not causing any trouble.’ Lando glances at Max who only rolls his eyes in response and doesn’t say anything else. ‘But you have to know that we’re in a hurry and won’t wait for you and Rich. Carlos and Guanyu will help you, but we’ll go forward on our own.’

‘Of course, that’s more than I-‘ Will cuts himself off and suddenly grabs Lando’s hand, squeezing it with a serious look on his face. ‘I owe you one.’

Lando knows the weight of these words and how much they mean; he only nods and hopes that nothing bad happens for this promise to be released. He looks at Alex, who hasn’t changed, hasn’t opened his eyes and gently ruffles his fur. His heart is beating but just so, barely there. Lando wonders if he can bargain with God Tano now – his life for Alex’s. He doesn’t know what to do with George if Alex’s heart stops beating. Lando won’t be able to look him in the eye. They all lost close people, yes, but George is different. If there was a way of sacrificing himself to have Alex alive and well for George, Lando would’ve done it. Then he thinks of all other people he would die for – his parents, Max, Daniel, Kai and lately, new addition in the fact of Oscar. Lando once talked about it with his mom, how he had very little regard of his own life because he’d rather sacrifice it for someone else. His mother only smiled sadly and carding her fingers through his hair, whispered: ‘Maybe that’s why God Tano chose you. Because of how ready you are to forget about yourself, to put your ego aside for others.’

Lando never thought of it in that way, but then Oscar came into his life and something shifted. Not all at once, but little by little. Lando would die for Oscar, sure. But more than that Oscar made Lando want to live for him. To fight till the end, to claw his way out of the darkness for him – all of that just to see his face, to be able to stand next to him and hold him in his arms.

Oscar makes Lando want to live. Lando doesn’t know what to do with that.

=+=

George stirs slowly, blinking. He greets this morning with a heaviness in his heart that doesn’t get lighter with passing days. Lying on the bed that no longer smells like Alex, his fingers skim gently at his neck, feeling his bite mark. George doesn’t have to look at the mirror to know that it’s getting darker – he feels it in his heart with each day. The mark pulses with pain now and then, a dull ache serves as a horrible reminder than somewhere there, unreachable for George, Alex is hurting. Somewhere far, out of George’s reach Alex is hurting and George is just… here. Hurting for both of them.

It's barely morning. George plasters himself off the bed, sitting up. He thought the pain after his visions was unbearable, but it’s nothing compared to what he felt when his mating bite triggered. Even now after so many days George’s whole-body aches – everything hurts, even a mundane task of getting yourself out of the bed is laced with phantom chillness. The burn was viscous in the beginning causing George to black out, but in the following days it didn’t stop, it just subdued. He had no idea what to do with this – George ran himself to the ground with all the thoughts. He doesn’t know how to stop this, doesn’t know how to help himself and is not even sure that he wants it, in all honesty. But he tries. For Alex, mostly. Because Alex would’ve hated to see him like this – broken, beaten down, barely alive. Alex wanted him to always take care of himself, so George tries. For him. He gets up on ungodly hours and brushes his teeth. He tries to eat, forces himself to chew and swallow the food he makes, but he doesn’t even taste it properly. He tries to be present when Cisca comes, when Lewis stops by, when he sees pups. Everything feels so fake and forced that by the evening George is exhausted just from all the pretenses; he’s never been good at lying, anyway. He wonders if Alex can feel him, if this mating bite somehow transfers his love to the alpha. George doesn’t know if it’s possible, but he tries anyway; thinks hard, imagines how his love is feeding their bond, how his love is strong enough to give Alex power and will to come back. George also speaks to the Goddess Ala at night. He prays for Alex, begs her to let him live, tries to bargain with her by offering anything he can give. You chose me, but I’m nothing without him, can’t you see? Don’t you know that if he dies then I will too? You chose me for a reason, but I won’t stay alive without him. Save him and you will save me, and I will forever be your vessel, forever indebted. He never gets a reply.

George quietly walks to Jon’s place. The streets are empty, everyone’s sleeping soundly, but Jon is up as he always is, and he greets George with a kind smile when he knocks at his door. ‘Come in, George.’

George likes Jon. The older beta never asks too many questions, never gets nosy and is always extremely cordial. ‘Anything you can give me for this?’ George points at his mating bite. ‘To ease the burn, at least?’

‘Still burns, huh?’ Jon asks, frowning. He steps closer, inspecting the bite. When he leans back, he offers George a small smile: ‘Maybe it’s burning because he’s fighting, Georgie. Fighting to stay alive and come back to you.’

George swallows past the bile that rises in his throat at those words. ‘He better,’ he mutters quietly, shaking slightly.

‘Alex’s always been incredibly stubborn when it comes to you. I remember how he kept on following you around, year after year, always staying close, never looking at anyone else. Trust me, he’ll come back on a sheer power of stubbornness.’

George doesn’t trust his voice not to break, so he only nods tightly and follows Jon deeper into his house. It smells like fire smoke and medicine, a weird mixture that wakes George up a bit more. Jon methodically explains to him all variants that he can offer to subdue the pain from the bite, showing George different jars that all smell like death and regret, when they both hear it – the unmistakable sound of someone running. It’s so loud due to crunchy snow at the ground and the unusualness of hearing it this early in the morning makes them both pause; the sound gets louder, whoever is running definitely gets closer and closer and-

‘Jon!’ Someone shouts, banging on the door with force that can easily break it. ‘Jon!’

George’s heart skips a beat. It’s Kevin. Kevin, who went with Alex. Kevin, who is now here. Jon moves without waiting for George, rushing to the door and yanking it open to see panting Kevin in front of him. ‘Kev, what-‘

‘Alex,’ Kevin lets out hurriedly. ‘It’s- it’s bad. Very bad. He’s still in his wolf form. Guys are carrying him, but I ran first to set everything up. Who should I get? Luisa? That Esteban guy? Who can help? They should be here in twenty minut-‘ Kevin pauses, when George slowly walks to the corridor. Alpha’s eyes widen and the grim expression on his face only darkens. ‘George.’

‘Where is he?’ George asks and his voice doesn’t even crack in the end.

Kevin exchanges a subtle glance with Jon before replying: ‘They are coming.’ He shifts on his feet, uneasy. ‘I think it’s better for you stay here.’

George blinks. Alex is going to be here. They brought him back. And they… don’t want George to see him? His mating bite burns with intensity that makes omega dizzy. But anger is stronger and instead of swaying, he stands firmly on his feet, glaring daggers at Kevin. ‘I am coming with you whether you like it or not.’

Kevin lets out a frustrated growl and turns to Jon, ignoring George: ‘Who to call? Luisa? Esteban?’

‘I’ll go get Esteban, you take Luisa. Her house is the closest to the entrance, so move him there.’ Jon quickly gets dressed and then turns to George, frowning. ‘Maybe you should stay here, George. You might-‘

‘Get scared? Lose consciousness once I see my mate in a half-dead state?’ George bites out. The burning is horrible, it scorches at his skin, but he pays it no mind. ‘I am coming with you. Whatever it is – I’m ready for it. I will not leave Alex.’

‘For fuck’s sake, okay, we should move!’ Kevin growls and without waiting for the, runs to Luisa’s house.

Jon takes one last look at George before he storms off to get Esteban and George, for the first time since Alex left, feels a surge of energy. He runs after Kevin and his long legs serve him well for once, as he catches with alpha right when sleepy Luisa walks out, listening to Kevin with barely open eyes. George comes close right when she gasps and rushes back to the house, starting to clear the living room to make space for everyone.

‘What happened?’ George asks, standing close to Kevin when they enter omega’s house.

Kevin casts him a sideway glance before deciding that lying is not an option if George is going to see everything anyway: ‘He got shot. That’s why I asked if we need this Esteban guy. We need someone who knows how to extract the bullet.’

George’s world tilts in axis. Shot? Bullet? ‘What?’ He breathes out because it all sounds impossible. ‘How-‘

‘Long story,’ Kevin cuts off harshly, but then he softens, staring at George with something akin to.. pity. ‘Look, George. It’s not- pretty, okay? He lost so much blood, it’s… He’s not moving, not responding. Maybe you shouldn’t see him like that.’ Kevin eyes his mating bite and frowns. ‘Shit. Are you okay?’

George hasn’t been okay since the moment Alex left. He only manages to stare at Kevin in pure shock with word ‘shot’ replaying itself in his head over and over again. Shot. His Alex. His alpha, his mate, his Alex has been shot. His heart stutters once, twice and then starts rattling at his ribs in fear. Shot shot shot shot. ‘Stay here,’ Kevin commands, frowning at him even more. ‘I’ll go help them. Lando is probably barely standing.’

George doesn’t even feel anything apart from the shocking burning. It feels like his skin is on fire and he knows the bite is darkening even more at the edges. With trembling fingers he presses on the bite even when it hurts, even if the pain makes him scream, just to feel that it’s real, still there, that Alex is not-

‘George?’ Luisa calls and then there’s the sound of something breaking on the floor. ‘George, oh my god, George!’

Everything turns black in a matter of seconds.

=+=

‘Lando, stop hovering. You’re not helping at all.’

‘But-‘

‘Get out!’

‘Fucking fine! But first- no, Luisa, let me come closer. George? I know you can hear me. I brought Alex back, George. He’s here, he’s breathing, he’s not- dead. I brought him back for you, Georgie. So wake up, yeah? You gotta see your mate and tell him to fucking transform back, because he’s not listening to any of us. But he’ll listen to you, he always listens to you, George. Wake up, yeah? I carried your man for days and you can’t just- just- wake up, George. I’ll be here, waiting. With Alex.’

=+=

When Jon finally lets George see Alex, omega is so jittery with nerves he can barely stand. Esteban holds his hand as he guides him to where Alex is lying, carefully sitting George down and watching him like hawk. Jon supports George from the other side, looking exhausted and grim. There’s no one else in the room and Jon is saying something about the bullet extraction, but George is not listening. He can’t breathe, looking at Alex’s wolf form lying limply, chest moving with every breath but just barely. The bite doesn’t burn anymore, but the darkness still stays in the corners, it’s still black and purple mark on his neck.

‘We’ll leave you alone,’ Jon mutters, nudging Esteban to let go of George’s hand. George doesn’t breathe.

He doesn’t breathe until his hands don’t dig into Alex’s fur, until he doesn’t feel the heat of his body – alive. With a wretched sob tearing up his throat George leans in, burying his head in the fur. ‘Alex,’ he calls, not even trying to hold the tears back. ‘Alex, my Alex.’ He’s alive. He’s breathing, he’s right next to him. ‘It will be alright now, all will be good now. I’m here, Alex. I’m not leaving.’

Alex doesn’t reply. He smells like dirt, blood and snow. His fur is covered in dried dirt and blood patches and George grabs nearest bowl with water along with the towel and stars gently cleaning him just to give himself something to do, just to keep touching Alex. He continues murmuring sweet nothings under his breath, fully concentrating on the task in hand. His heartbeat slows and for the first time in days George doesn’t feel hurling anxiety, doesn’t have a raging storm inside of him that is ready to tear everything apart. Alex is here and he’s alive and he can’t ask for anything more. His fingers are trembling, and his lungs expand with each breath he’s taking like he’s trying to breathe Alex in even more. Each brush against his fur works like a charm for George; he feels more grounded, because with each move he gets more and more sure that all of this is real, that Alex is real and he’s right here. Yes, still in his wolf form. Yes, still barely breathing. But alive.

George pauses, leaning in to plant a kiss on the fur. ‘It will be alright, my love. Now that we’re together – it will be alright. Just rest, yeah? Focus on resting and I will be here with you.’

George silently sends a thank you the Goddess Ala. Whatever you need, he promises, whatever you need, I will do it. You can use me however you want. Thank you for bringing him back. George’s bite tingles, but in a pleasant way like it’s answering to his prayer. He smiles and closes his eyes, breathing Alex in. ‘I love you’, he whispers.

Alex doesn’t reply, but that’s okay. George’s love is strong enough for both of them.

=+=

‘We extracted the bullet, and I tried my best to clean everything, but-‘ Esteban clears his throat, struggling to explain his doubts. ‘I mean, I don’t know the rest, really. I don’t know how wolf healing works and Jon also doesn’t have experience with bullets, so. It’s kind of… I’m not sure, sorry. If he manages to heal and turn back to human form, it’d be easier for me to give preliminary thoughts, but now we just…’

‘Wait?’ Max asks in a clearly displeased tone. Lando unsubtly kicks his foot with his own.

‘We did all we could.’ Jon assures them in a tired voice. ‘Alex is strong, he’ll heal faster in a wolf form. All we can do now is just wait. But good job on bringing him here on time. One more day and…’

He doesn’t have to finish that sentence for everyone to know what he wanted to say. Daniel clasps Jon’s shoulders and thanks him sincerely, going over to hug Esteban. Lando stays sitting, leaning slightly on Kevin. His head feels like cotton and his legs are shaking with slight tremor from overuse, so having someone sturdy like Kevin to lean on is a big plus. Max glances at him warily before muttering: ‘Good job everyone. Rest up, I’ll call everyone for a meeting tonight.’

‘Jon, can you look over this kid right here?’ Kevin asks, pointing at Lando. ‘He overdid it, I think.’

Lando doesn’t even argue, because his slumped state is too obvious and he has nothing to say about it. Jon nods and Kevin pats Lando’s knee twice before carefully standing up. He leaves quietly, letting Jon and Lando settle in their own already familiar rhythm of a check-up. Esteban leaves too with a promise of checking on Alex every day. ‘He’s not a bad guy,’ Lando notes, while Jon looks over his left side carefully.

‘Esteban? He’s decent. A good one,’ Jon mumbles, pressing lightly on the stitches and making Lando cringe. ‘Hurts?’

‘A little,’ Lando admits. ‘We got into a fight there. Nothing very bad, but you know. I think Kev’s right, I overdid it. Pushed myself to the limit by carrying Alex too. My legs feel like jelly now, man.’

Jon hums and then chuckles. ‘Oscar has quite an influence on you, huh? Previous Lando I knew would’ve never admitted in overdoing something or confessed he’s in pain. His rationality’s rubbing on you, I see.’

At the mention of Oscar his heart flatters like a hummingbird. Lando ducks his head, smiling. There’s something incredibly satisfying about the thought that him and Oscar might take each other’s qualities. ‘Maybe. Or maybe I’m just maturing.’

Jon rolls his eyes and continues his examination in silence. He doesn’t ask what happened; Jon is never nosy, but he does poke and prod until Lando gives up and asks for something for his energy depletion. ‘Can you stay, Jon?’ Lando asks quietly, grabbing beta’s wrist. ‘Here. For Alex. Like- can he become your main priority now? Luisa can take care of your other patients, no?’

It's been something that was gnawing on Lando’s mind for this whole time. He needs someone close to Alex for George, because George will not leave his mate’s side and someone should also take care of him, too. He can’t think of anyone else but Jon to do it, but it’s selfish to hog their pack’s main healer’s attention just like that. He stares at Jon with pleading eyes, hoping that older beta can understand where he’s coming from, that it’s not because Lando does not appreciate what he does for the pack but because-

‘Should we give George something for slee-‘ Luisa pauses when he enters the kitchen, quickly catching on to the tension between them. ‘Is… everything okay?’

Lando turns to her and flashes a fake smile that makes the girl blush lightly. ‘Peachy, Lu. Don’t worry about it.’

Lando knows he is Jon’s favorite. Knows that older beta has a soft spot for him, knows that he spent days watching over him, rushing to other patients only if it was urgent. Lando knows he can press and knows that maybe he shouldn’t, but he can’t help it; if it’s for George’s sanity, he’ll do it over and over again. ‘Please, Jon. For me.’

Jon holds his gaze for a tense moment but then sighs, closing his eyes. Lando knows he won before beta vocally agrees to it. The hug Lando pulls Jon in is strong and intimate and full of gratitude. Lando squeezes Jon tightly and winks at Luisa, who’s watching everything with apprehension. ‘I’ll never forget it, Jon. You’re a life savior.’ Lando leans back, smiling sincerely. ‘Thank you.’

Jon only smiles back and orders him to go home and rest. The village slowly rises, it’s almost eight in the morning and Lando feels a bit dizzy from the realization that he is back home after everything. ‘I don’t trust you not to fall, Luisa, can you go with Lando? Check that this idiot got home in one piece.’

Lando doesn’t protest mostly because he is aware of how tired he is; one slip on the snow will have him lying on the ground with no desire to come up. Luisa happily agrees, but her happiness dims a bit when she realizes that Lando is walking in another direction. ‘Lan? Where are we going? Your house is that way.’

‘I need to see Oscar first,’ Lando explains, holding her hand as they walk through the slippery road. ‘Careful, Lu.’

‘You should rest, maybe you can go see Oscar tomorrow?’ Luisa tries. ‘Let’s go home.’

The thought of being here and not seeing Oscar is a bit revolting to Lando, to be honest. He didn’t go to Oscar the second he crossed the entrance to the village because he has to take care of Alex, but now when it’s done, he doesn’t see any reasons to delay his visit any later. He knows Oscar is probably sleeping but just seeing him for few moments would be enough, just holding him for a while would be enough. It’d work better than any potion Jon can give him.

‘You don’t have to come with me, I’ll be fine on my own.’ Lando says warmly. ‘I won’t fall. Probably.’

Something dark passes Luisa’s face but it’s gone quickly as she forces herself to smile. ‘No, it’s okay, I’ll go with you.’

Lando is struggling to keep his eyes open by the time they reach Oscar’s house. He didn’t sleep properly for god knows how long and his body is giving up on him after physically exhausting three days. He wants to sleep for a whole day, wants to lay in a warm bath for hours, wants to let his muscles finally relax, but first he needs to see Oscar. When Lando knocks on the door and then hears footsteps, his heart pauses in anticipation. And when the door opens to reveal already dressed to go out Oscar it starts beating abnormally fast. The relief that clouds Lando’s whole body at the sight of Oscar almost brings him to his knees – the need to have in his arms is the only reason for him not falling.

‘What,’ Oscar breathes out, taking a step back. His eyes are wide with disbelief, and his mouth opens in perfect ‘o’ shape from shock. ‘La- Lando?’

Lando cracks a smile, willing his body to cooperate with him and not give up for just few moments. ‘Hey, Osc.’

He doesn’t say anything more than that not because he can’t, but because Oscar’s arms around him cut all the oxygen in his lungs. It takes a short second for realization that Oscar is right here to kick in, but when it does Lando instantly hugs him back, circling his arms around beta’s frame and locking them together. A strong wave of Oscar’s scent bulldozes him with its intensity and Lando welcomes it, drinks it in like a starved man, buries his nose in Oscar’s neck and breathes. ‘Oscar,’ he mouths at the neck, smirking at the way the boy in his arms shivers. ‘My Osc.’

‘Lando,’ Oscar whispers and it’s said with such reverence that Lando hugs him even tighter. Beta’s hands move around every part they can reach until they don’t settle around Lando’s neck, gripping it like Lando may disappear. ‘Lando, oh all the Heavens above, Lando. You are here, you are-‘

‘I am,’ Lando nips at his scent gland, delighting in the way Oscar’s body immediately melts in his hold at this action. ‘I am here, baby. Came back to you.’

Arms around him tighten to an impossible degree. Lando hears a quiet sob, and it breaks his heart. He tries to lean back to look at Oscar’s face, but his boy refuses to let him do that, hiding his face in Lando’s neck instead. His scent thrums with overwhelming emotions and Lando doesn’t push; he just holds tight and rocks them a little. Oscar tries to muffle all of his sounds, but Lando obviously hears his quiet whimpers; alpha releases more of his scent even if doing this takes away last bits of his energy just to soothe Oscar, to calm him down with a safe cocoon of his scent.

‘I’m here, baby. Here. It’s alright.’ Lando barely stands upright, but he’d rather die than let Oscar go now. ‘Not going anywhere.’

‘Lando,’ Luisa’s voice makes both of them freeze. Oscar instantly leans back, blinking at her in confusion like he just noticed her presence. She puts her hand on Lando’s back: ‘Lando, you’re going to fall. It’s too much, I think we should go home.’

Lando does feel like he’s going to fall – his vision swims a little and only Oscar’s scent keeps him tettered to the reality. He watches as Oscar eyes him carefully, how he then looks at Luisa with something weird in his gaze; his scent sharpens as emotions cool down. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘He’s just exhausted as you can see, he pushed himself too far.’ Luisa explains, rubbing Lando’s back. Oscar’s eyes zero on this action. ‘He wanted to come here first.’ She turns to Lando, clutching his forearm. ‘Now that you saw him, let’s go back, yeah? You really need to rest.’

‘I think-‘ Lando starts but gets interrupted by Oscar’s ice cold: ‘Go back where?’

‘We will go to his house.’ Luisa answers curtly.

Lando blinks. His legs start to tremble with an effort of standing up and he swallows, leaning a bit on Oscar’s door. This action instantly makes Oscar frown, and he cradles Lando’s head in his hands with all the gentleness, looking for answers in the depth of alpha’s eyes. ‘Are you hurt?’ Oscar asks quietly.

Lando wants to bask in this care forever. In the way Oscar looks at him like nothing is more important than him, in the way Oscar holds him like Lando is someone precious, worthy of love and care and protection. ‘No. Yes. No,’ Lando shakes his head, closing his eyes. ‘Just need to rest. But needed to see you, first.’

He feels it in the way Oscar’s scent blooms around him, feels in the slight hitch of beta’s breath, of short tremble of his hands around his face – how these last words affect him. Lando doesn’t mind, they are true anyways. He doesn’t open his eyes, but he feels Oscar’s hand moving util they wrap around his waist, pulling him closer. Lando goes without a single restraint, letting beta manhandle him however he likes, and it seems like what Oscar likes is to have Lando as close to him as he can.

‘He’ll stay here,’ Oscar says and Lando only hums in agreement. He feels so, so tired.

‘It’s not his home,’ Luisa argues and honestly, Lando even forgot that she’s still here. He thinks of saying something, but then ultimately decides to give control to Oscar, who seems to be perfectly capable of deciding for both of them.

‘It is.’ Oscar says and the confidence in his tone, the sure way he says it, makes Lando smile against his shoulder. ‘He will stay here. Thanks for bringing him here, Luisa.’

You can go now is not said, but it’s clear and loud. Lando doesn’t open his eyes until he doesn’t hear a door being shut. Oscar doesn’t let go of him and takes Lando’s deadweight like a champ, not even making a one noise of complaint. Instead, he kisses Lando’s temple and his hair, anywhere he can reach and whispers: ‘Will take care of you, sweetheart.’

The sound Lando lets on this can only be described as a high keen. He’d be embarrassed about it if he weren’t barely conscious. Oscar’s chuckle is warm, and his hands are gentle as he caresses alpha’s back. ‘Yeah? You liked that?’ He kisses Lando’s head again. ‘Liked being called ‘sweetheart’?’

Lando opens his eyes just for a moment, noticing that Oscar is slowly moving them somewhere. He wants to say yes, he likes being called that by Oscar very much, but what ends up coming out is: ‘So tired, Osc. So, so tired.’

Hands on his back pause before they tighten; Oscar pulls Lando in a crushing hug. For a second Lando feels that their hearts get mashed together with the force of it. ‘I know, Lan, I know. You’ll rest in a second. Let me pull you to the living room.’

Lando tries to be helpful and at least moves his legs, so they won’t get tangled with Oscar’s and send them both face first on the floor. Oscar lays him on the couch and adjusts the pillows, fussing over Lando in a manner that warms alpha’s heart. He runs to grab the blanket from the second floor and pulls it over them as he lays close, barely fitting. ‘It’s okay, you can rest,’ Oscar whispers, caressing Lando’s arm.

‘Thank you, Osc.’ Lando whispers, closing his eyes.

‘No, thank you,’ Oscar mutters and his voice wobbles with true emotion. ‘For coming back to me.’

Lando smiles. He knows there’s a big weight in those words, knows they need to talk about it later. And they will, but for now he settles for squeezing beta’s hand and interlacing their fingers. He adjusts until he’s got his arm wrapped around Oscar’s waist, sighing happily when Oscar’s head falls on his shoulder. ‘Love you, Osc.’

Lando feels how Oscar freezes at those words, but sleep takes him into its arms and he’s out before he can see Oscar’s reaction. He misses the way beta stares at him with open wonder like Lando is the mirage that will dissipate in any second. He misses the way Oscar tightens his hold on him, how beta almost looks like he’s in pain when he presses his face in alpha’s shoulder. He misses how Oscar trembles, how his body grows taut with restraint as he forces himself to not break at hearing the words he had in his own heart.

‘Lando,’ Oscar whispers, clutching at alpha’s sweater. He sniffles and lets out a weak chuckle, unable to believe what he heard. ‘God. Lando.’

Oscar thinks his heart is just going to decline from all of the emotions, thinks he needs to restart his whole brain because hearing ‘love you, Osc’ from Lando broke something inside him that cannot be mend. Or it can be mended, but only with Lando’s touch, his kisses, his scent. Oscar buries himself deeper, sighing at the way Lando’s hand moves automatically even in his sleep, pulling Oscar even closer to his side. Oscar listens to the steady heartbeat beneath his palm and can’t believe that it’s all real. Lando is back. It means Alex is back too, Oscar supposes. He can wait though. Alex can wait and George can wait and everyone else can wait, because Lando is back. Lando came to him because he needed to see him, Lando is lying next to him now like he’s in the safest place ever, Lando told him he loves him. Him. Oscar.

‘I love you,’ Oscar whispers so quietly that he can barely hear his own voice. These three words sound sacred, but Oscar thinks he should practice a little before he can say them facing alpha. ‘I love you, Lando.’

Saying them out loud is different from thinking them over, turning them in his head again and again. Lando doesn’t react, out cold from exhaustion, but that’s okay; Oscar will make sure he has full alpha’s attention when he confesses to him, too. He grips Lando’s body tighter, wanting to just mesh them into one, wanting to make a home inside of him. God, he loves Lando. Loves him like he never loved anyone, loves him like he never thought he was capable of loving someone. Loves him in a way that drives him mad, that makes him stronger and weaker at the same time. Loving Lando shines light on sides of himself that Oscar never knew of. He didn’t know he could burn with jealousy and possessiveness, didn’t know Luisa’s hand on Lando’s back could make him want to snarl and twist her arm away. He didn’t know he could rage with protectiveness, didn’t know he’d go against his pack for Lando, didn’t know he could stand on his knees in the temple and pray for Lando’s safety. He didn’t know he could feel his wolf awakening, didn’t know the walls he built could ever be broken down. Loving Lando makes Oscar see himself in a different light. Loving Lando makes Oscar love himself, too.

‘I love you,’ he whispers, because now he can say it without any fears.

Because Lando loves him back. He’s still in awe, still half convinced that he’s dreaming. Lando loves him. Lando. Oscar closes his eyes and breathes him in, lets his lungs get their fill on the most perfect scent ever and relaxes. Lando, who let Oscar manhandle him, let Oscar decide for him, let Oscar take the reins even when he's an alpha and Oscar is just a beta. Lando, who came here because his need to see Oscar was stronger than anything else, who looked at Oscar like just seeing him already healed him. Lando, who is brave and fearless and messy. Lando, who snores quietly when he sleep and smiles at pups like he actually cares about them. Lando, who holds Oscar like beta’s mess is his mess, too. Like he’s in it for good. Lando, who whispers ‘my Osc’ and Oscar is a goner. Lando, who likes being called ‘sweetheart’. That Lando loves him back.

Oscar looks up and gingerly brushes some falling hair away from alpha’s eyes. He looks so peaceful in his sleep and Oscar feels the surge of overwhelming affection. He leans in and places a kiss on alpha’s neck. He’ll do anything to keep on hearing ‘my Osc’ from Lando’s lips. He marvels how easy it is easy for alpha to just stake his claim like that, just with two words. Oscar imagines saying ‘my Lando’ to him and gets proper giddy at the prospect. He’ll have to say it one day, because it’s true and because he wants Lando to know how it feels like when someone openly claims you. But first he will start with saying three words back to him.

Notes:

lowkey my favorite chapter i've written for this fic even if it's just an interlude. hopefully you liked it, let me know your thoughts please <333

i will keep silence on what is happening with alex: whether he wakes up or not
next chapter will be a smutty one + fluff, because then, as promised, i am doubling on angst (antis + the outlanders appereance. oh it would be fuun!). i am not sure when will the update happen - if all goes good it should be up before the end of the next week, if not, then only in two-three weeks cause i'll be away :(

either way, hope you enjoyed this chapter, hope you're still with me in this journey! sending you all smooches <3 - nini <3

Chapter 13: belong together

Oscar blinks, awed. ‘Are you sure?’

Lando has never been more sure of anything in his life. ‘Yes. I can feel it.’

It’s impossible to describe so Lando doesn’t even try to; how can one put into words that he feels the awakening of other’s wolf? It thrums underneath Lando’s skin, his alpha rumbles in approval because it’s there, it’s happening. Standing side by side, holding Oscar’s hand in his, Lando feels Oscar’s wolf. It doesn’t happen often: he sometimes gets miniscule awareness of his parents’ wolves and at other times he can sense when Max is about to blow up and transform, but it’s different with Oscar. With Oscar there’s more of a tingling sensation all over his body, it’s more about his own wolf howling in anticipation, pacing restlessly. Oscar’s wolf is ready.

‘Do I- How I can- um,’ Oscar pauses, eyebrows furrowing in concentration. It’s unbearably cute and Lando can’t stop himself from reaching out and smoothing out the crease. Oscar sighs at this. ‘Lando.’

‘What?’ Lando gently caresses his face. ‘You’ll know what to do. Just let it go, let your wolf takeover. He’ll know what to do, I promise.’

‘This is the most unhelpful instruction I’ve ever received.’

‘There are no instructions here,’ Lando hopes he sounds gentle without being belittling. ‘Your wolf is ready, and you are ready too. Stop worrying and just concentrate on this feeling, let the magic happen.’

Oscar snorts. ‘Magic?’ He questions and it’s meant to be teasing but the soft look in his eyes betrays his intentions. ‘How poetic of you, Norris.’

‘You make me this way,’ Lando answers truthfully and delights in a pink blush that instantly blooms on beta’s cheeks. ‘Now go. I will be right here.’

Oscar nods, taking a few steps ahead. They talked about it a little yesterday after Lando woke up from his almost six hours long nap; about how Oscar could feel something inside him changing, how Lando could feel it too. Alpha suggested to test it out in the only way he knew – a trial run. If Lando could he’d help Oscar out with this, but he never really understood the whole process behind transformation as it always was such a natural thing to him. He never had to think hard about it and shifted on a pure instinct, which is something impossible to describe. ‘No rush,’ Lando calls out. ‘Take all the time you need.’

They are standing at the porch of his house where they came to in the morning after Lando and Oscar tended to Nicole. Lando feels much better after a good rest and hearty meal, his energy levels are almost back to their usual state and that’s why he suggested a trial run – in case it all goes south, he has enough strength to catch up on Oscar and bring him home.

Oscar turns his head, looking at Lando with worry in his eyes. ‘I-‘

‘You can do it, Osc.’ Lando interrupts, smiling encouragingly. ‘And I am right here.’

His brave boy nods resolutely. He turns away from him and then suddenly turns once more, urgent: ‘You will be here?’

Lando’s heart squeezes in his chest so tight that for a second it gets hard to breathe. The overwhelming wave of affection crushes through him and he knows it’s obvious in his scent too, because Oscar’s body stiffens first at the onslaught of the feelings and then relaxes, pleased smile curls at the edges of his mouth. ‘I will always be here,’ Lando promises, meaning every single word. ‘I’ll always be with you.’

Lando hopes Oscar can read between the lines, can tell that he means not only this time, but other times too, all times, whenever Oscar will need him. Alpha fears he’s not very good with words, can’t deliver his thoughts in a way he wants to sometimes, but he hopes everything is clear from his scent alone, from his actions. He’ll stand by Oscar as he tries to figure out his connection with the wolf for as long as it’s needed.

‘Okay,’ Oscar breathes out and his voice trembles just a little. ‘I’m ready. I think.’

Lando stays back. He tries to hide his own nerves, because Oscar is nervous enough for both of them; he just watches in silence as Oscar tries to surrender to his wolf. The tension from his hunched form is almost palpable and Lando restrains himself from coming closer - this has to be done without his help whether he likes it or not. Oscar’s frame trembles with effort and his scent turns sour from frustration. It unconsciously reaches out to Lando, seeking comfort and support that alpha instantly provides, pouring all of his feelings into the scent and spreading it wide and strong so Oscar won’t be able to miss it. Beta’s shoulders sag and he turns again to look at Lando with a small knowing smile: ‘Lan.’

‘You can do it,’ Lando whispers. ‘Go.’

Lando holds his breath when Oscar starts running. He almost doesn’t blink too – keeps his eyes wide open until they start to hurt cause he’s too afraid to miss even one second of the glorious moment. Alpha’s legs automatically take him after Oscar, but he makes about ten steps before it finally happens – Oscar changes mid-jump in the air. Lando is so used to transformation that he barely pays any attention to how others do it, but this one has him frozen on the place with wide eyes and open mouth because it’s Oscar. Oscar, whose clothes shred in the air as his whole body changes. Oscar, who lands on four paws, gorgeous even from the distance. His wolf is a bit smaller in size than Lando’s, with shiny honey colored fur with white spots next to his tail and neck. Lando watches in awe as Oscar stumbles after awkward landing, how he paces a little unsurely, wagging his tail too fast. His heart skips a beat, when Oscar suddenly turns and looks straight at him and proceeds to howl.

Cheering loudly Lando runs at him, laughing uncontrollably as he bumps into the wolf, burying his face in the soft fur between his ears. ‘Osc, oh my god!’ Lando squeaks, gripping tightly. ‘You did it. You actually did it!’

In a wolf form Oscar’s scent is more prominent: it swirls around them lightly, full of happiness and joy. When Lando flicks his ears he headbutts him playfully, practically vibrating with energy. Lando grins, looking at familiar eyes with all the love in the world. He’s so proud of Oscar that his cheeks hurt from smiling, his heart hurts from all of the emotions. There are many things he can say but he fears they are far too sentimental, so he settles for a cheeky: ‘Let me take you on a real run, Osco. What do you think about that, huh?’

He never thought he’d have this, to be honest. Him and Oscar, running freely in their wolves’ forms. He never thought he’d have Oscar sprinting away from him, constantly looking back to check if Lando is coming or not like Lando could ever not follow him. He never thought he’d ever get to experience this joy of tackling Oscar to the ground, teasingly snapping his jaws at his ears. He never thought Oscar’s wolf would wake up, never thought it’d happen when he and Oscar would be together. It feels a bit like he’s having a feverish dream after straining days in the wild, but it’s all real. Oscar’s heavenly scent at the tip of Lando’s tongue is real. Oscar’s wet snout at Lando’s neck is real. Oscar’s heavy body pinned underneath his is real.

It awakes something primal in Lando, the realness of it all. Oscar starts wiggling, tries to push Lando away and alpha scowls seriously, growling suddenly low in the throat in a dangerous way, pushing Oscar down. The beta freezes in surprise, unsurely. Lando doesn’t have any answer to what possesses him to do it but he snaps his jaw right at Oscar’s ears before moving down and lightly grazing his neck with his sharp canines. There’s a second – a sweet second – during which Lando thinks Oscar is about to submit. That Oscar will move his neck to the side and let Lando’s jaws close around it in an act reserved for mates, full of possessiveness and love. But it lasts only a second, because in the next Oscar growls and snaps his jaws, butts Lando’s head away and starts pushing at him more insistently. My Osc, Lando huffs mentally, jumping back and letting newly changed wolf get back on his feet. My brave boy. Oscar is not a docile omega who will roll around and whine for alpha to claim them; no, Oscar is a strong headed beta who will snarl at Lando for being pushed down. Oscar is a beta who will challenge Lando but then run away with desire to be hunted and he will never make it easy.

Oscar sprints off somewhere to the forest and Lando feels an instinct of the hunter - as old as an Earth itself - awakens inside of him and burn as bright as fire in the middle of the night. With a feral grin on his face he rushes off to his prey, grinning.

=+=

Nothing ever comes close to this feeling. To this heady rush of adrenaline, to the pure euphoria that fills Oscar’s heart when he rushes back to Lando’s house. Being one with his wolf again is more than he could’ve ever dreamt of and now that he has this, now that he can feel every single muscle of his body moving effortlessly, he never wants to lose this again. The sheer strength he feels in this form is enough to make him drunk on it, the way every single sensation is heightened is a bit too much to take, but Oscar doesn’t mind it; he relishes feeling all of this again. The seemingly never-ending freedom that comes in a wolf form is more addictive than the strongest of aphrozodiacs.

‘Oscar.’

Oscar turns, focuses on naked Lando in front of him. His alpha is standing on the porch, quickly pulling on clothes and grinning at Oscar like he just won something. He didn’t and the fact that he is this happy for Oscar makes beta’s heart beat even faster in his chest. Lando motions him to stay still and disappears in the house for a few moments before appearing again with a new set of clothes. He holds them close to his chest, looking at Oscar with huge smile on his face. in his wolf form Oscar senses Lando much better: he can tell how proud and happy he is from his scent alone, his rich sea salt musk swirls around Oscar and if it smelled perfect in human form then in his wolf form this smell is simply divine. Oscar doesn’t want to smell anything else in his life.

‘Turning back is always tricky at first. It should be easier doing this mid-jump, but I don’t want you falling naked on the snow.’ Lando says, cackling like it’s funny and Oscar can’t help but find it utterly endearing, cocking his head to the side like a curious puppy. ‘So, how about you try doing it just standing here or at least mid-run. If nothing works, then we’re sticking with mid-jump option.’

Oscar considers this for few moments, already feeling reluctant to change. Him and Lando were running for what felt like five minutes even though realistically Oscar knows it’s been over an hour. With a sad whine he looks at his alpha, who pouts a little in understanding, stepping closer to gently brush Oscar’s fur. ‘I know, I know. But now you can transform anytime! That’s the most important thing, right?’

Lando is infinitely gentle with him and if Oscar could he’d purr from how much he likes this, having Lando like this, next to him like this. He still has hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that Lando did come back and that he’s well; Oscar spent eternity picturing all kind of negative scenarios in his head when alpha was gone. And this thought, this knowledge that Lando soon will be gone again pushes him to transform back, because he doesn’t know how much time they have together, and he doesn’t want to waste it fruitlessly. With a grunt Oscar moves slightly back and Lando gets the hint, going back to the porch to give Oscar more space. ‘Don’t rush it. Changing back always feels a bit different, it’s more like parting, I guess. Just focus on coming back.’

His thoughts jump back and forth like ping pong ball: how does he focus? What should he concentrate on? Also, is it possible to get stuck mid-changing? Has that ever happened to anyone? The last thought that crosses his mind before he decidedly shuts it off is how it’s the first time Lando is going to see him naked in a non-sexual context.

‘Don’t think, Oscar.’ Lando advises, looking a bit worried. ‘Just feel. Your wolf knows what to do, you just have to let it.’

Let it. The thing is, Oscar has never been good at this particular thing. Letting himself be happy, letting himself want, letting himself give up the control – he has a horrible track record with any of that stuff, but he tries. Listens to this feeling inside of him, the one that echoed in his ancestors, the one that is a part of him he lost a long time ago. Your wolf knows what to do, you just have to let it. It’s a deep rumble that quietens down any other thoughts of his, it’s a crushing wave that comes from within and Oscar lets himself be pulled under. It’s dizzying at first, he feels like he’s trying to withstand a horrifying pressure that threatens to tear him apart. Oscar breathes like he’s running and when the pressure becomes unbearable, he folds with a sharp cry. It’s like someone is pressing on him with all might, making him first drop on his knees and then face first on the ground, crying. He distinctly feels hands on him, hears familiar voice but can’t make out words – every single nerve in his body is focused on fighting back to- Oscar freezes. It takes a moment or two, but then the realization of what he’s doing turns up as bright as the sun and- god. You just have to let it, Lando said. And here Oscar is, actively fighting instead of surrendering and letting go. With gritted teeth he pushes his muscles to relax and despite all of his fears he lets the weight crush him. He’s prepared for the pain, for the cracked bones and ripped skin, but the weight doesn’t crush him; it crushes into him like it becomes one with Oscar and-

‘Oscar? Oscar, look at me. Can you hear me? Oscar, fuck, please-‘ Lando’s hand are all over him until they settle on grasping Oscar’s head and shaking it from side to side. He gets so close to beta’s face that he goes cross-eyed. ‘Do you hear me? Say something, Oscar!’

‘I can hear you,’ Oscar breathes out instantly choking on anxiety rolling off Lando in waves. ‘I- I’m fine.’

Next thing he knows he gets wrapped up in a coat and then his body gets tilted and- Oscar sucks a shocked breath at Lando lifting him up. His brain still hasn’t registered the fact that he managed to transform back and how exactly that happened, so it latches on the strength of Lando, on scruffy material of his coat that bites at Oscar’s naked skin uncomfortably. Lando kicks the door open with his right foot, adjusts his hold on Oscar till he's holding securely by the waist, kicks the door back closed and crosses the house until he doesn’t reach his bedroom where he carefully positions Oscar on his bed.

‘There, get warm,’ Lando covers him with an extra blanket, acting like mother hen. Oscar supposes he looks even worse than he feels if Lando is this frantic. ‘Actually, get under the blanket, I’ll cover you up with a blanket too. Or do you want to put on clothes first?’

‘Clothes.’ Oscar somehow manages to sound firm. He feels a bit out of his body, which weirds him out in the worst way. He is cold and it has nothing to do with the temperature outside. He is cold inside and it’s so unsettling that he can’t help but mutter: ‘I feel.. it’s like inside it’s-‘

‘Cold?’ Lando finishes for him and when Oscar nods, he lets out a sympathetic noise. ‘It happened to me once when I haven’t been transforming for a long time. It’ll pass soon. I’m sorry, baby.’ Lando’s warm hand rubs at Oscar’s shoulder and he leans to the heat of it automatically, making alpha smile. His gaze on Oscar is steady and thoughtful and before beta can question it, Lando suddenly takes off his coat and gets on the bed with him. Alpha wraps both of his arms around Oscar’s trembling form and hugs him tight. ‘Will warm you up like this.’

It's cheesy and yet Oscar melts into it despite his efforts to tease Lando about it. Lando is warm and solid, and he smells heavenly – Oscar is too weak to fight this. The coldness inside doesn’t ease up, but his body is not locked up anymore like it knows that in Lando’s arms it can relax. Oscar hums in appreciation at the feeling of dry lips on his forehead and Lando chuckles, kissing him once more. ‘It’ll get better, Osc. Just lay like this with me, yeah? It’ll get better, I promise.’

Oscar doesn’t question Lando; just believes him wholeheartedly and closes his eyes, out cold in a matter of seconds.

=+=

There’s quiet humming right next to his ear and fingers tap unknown rhythm on his hip. The scent of sea salt with a pinch of sunshine is all around him. Oscar is warm, maybe even too warm and when a cold nose grazes the back of his neck he hums, slowly waking up. Lando’s body curls around him like a missing puzzle piece and Oscar leans further back to alpha’s chest, grumbling when hold on him tightens in a way that hurts a little. ‘Lando.’

‘Hm?’ Lando’s lips ghost at the back of beta’s neck and bite gently. It makes Oscar shiver, and Lando grins triumphantly. ‘Woke up finally?’

‘You’re killing me with this grip,’ Oscar mutters in a fake annoyed tone. Lando eases up instantly and Oscar sighs in satisfaction, turning his head a little to face his alpha. ‘Hi.’

‘Hi.’ Lando’s dopey grin makes it hard not to smile back, and Oscar doesn’t even try hold it – his mouth widens in a matching grin that hurts his cheeks. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Good.’ Oscar takes a few moments to fully register his body and he can’t find any sore spots. He’s not cold anymore and doesn’t feel tired. ‘All good, yeah.’

Lando’s hand grips his hip. He looks at Oscar with something electric as he whispers: ‘You did it.’

Oscar freezes. With wide eyes he stares back at Lando and lets this realization settle somewhere deep in his chest. He did it. He did it himself, he did it and no one and nothing can take it away from him. Even just laying right now he can feel this power inside him, can feel his wolf inside and the fact that this connection is restored makes Oscar so emotional, his throat feels tight with all of the unsaid words. He stares at Lando and sees his own reflection in alpha’s hazel eyes, sees how full of wonder his face is. He then focuses on the pride on Lando’s face and swallows past the lump in his throat to mutter: ‘I did it.’

Lando’s smile is soft as his fingers caress Oscar’s jaw. ‘You did, Osc. You truly did.’ Lando leans in, brushing tips of their noses. ‘My bravest boy.’

Oscar lets out a shaky exhale, closing his eyes so he won’t have to see Lando’s expression because then he might cry in earnest. Oscar has never been brave in his life – too logical, too practical, too coordinated for impulsive rushes or any unpredictable actions. Bravery is for strong ones, for ones who are not afraid, and Oscar always thought of himself as a coward who couldn’t speak up when it mattered. But he did this and hearing Lando call him his bravest boy hits too close to where it matters; Oscar grits his teeth to keep the whimper inside. And Lando says it like he means it, like it’s the universal truth: the sky is blue, winter is cold, and Oscar is a brave boy. Lando’s bravest boy.

‘You’re sure you’re feeling good?’ Lando asks in a low voice, his grip on Oscar’s hip turns bruising.

Oscar opens his eyes. ‘Yeah. Why?’

‘Because I want to kiss the hell out of you and I need to know that you’re not going to pass out on me mid-kiss. Should I feed you first?’

It’s crazy how just a promise of the kiss makes fire ignite in beta’s chest. He unconsciously licks his lips and when alpha follows this move with his eyes like a starved predator, Oscar leans harder to Lando’s chest, sticking himself closer. ‘I’m feeling good. I’m very good.’

Lando’s smirk ignites the fire in Oscar even further. ‘Yeah,’ he whispers millimeters apart from Oscar’s mouth. ‘You are good. So good, Oscar.’

The kiss itself makes Oscar light up like a firework. Maybe because he hasn’t been kissed by Lando for so long, maybe because he’s so emotional over his transformation or maybe because every kiss with Lando feels like reaching the highest peak – Oscar keens so high right into alpha’s mouth that he surprises himself. He has half a mind to get embarrassed over this, but then Lando’s mouth moves from his lips to his earlobe and Oscar forgets all about embarrassment when alpha whispers: ‘Missed these pretty noises so much, fuck.’

Oscar swears he doesn’t do it on purpose, but after those words another keen slips out from his mouth and Lando latches on him with a low growl, sucking his soul out from him through the kiss. Oscar tries his best to give and kiss back as best as he can, but it’s impossible to withstand Lando’s pressure when he’s single minded to drive Oscar crazy and make him surrender. The control play has never been on the table for beta – he was used to leading and never had a dynamic when someone fights him for it and takes over; it’s surprisingly easy with Lando. Oscar supposes he shouldn’t find this surprising how everything is easy when it comes to Lando – it probably should feel like that when you love someone.

‘Smell s’ good,’ Lando slurs, tilting Oscar’s head up so he can kiss up his jaw. ‘Fuck, missed you so much, Osc. You looked so good out there, running with me. Even your wolf is pretty, just like you.’

Lando is sincere, his scent alone carries this sincerity like an open book, welcoming Oscar to read it. This is what undoes Oscar all the time, how sincere Lando is with him, how he doesn’t hide a single thing, how his desires are out in the open proudly like he knows how important it is for Oscar to know where he stands with him. For some reason, it’s the comment about his wolf that makes Oscar blush furiously. He ducks his head in alpha’s curls, breathing him. He knows how insecure this sounds but he can’t help but ask: ‘Really?’

Lando pauses and looks up from where he was busy nipping at Oscar’s earlobe. He makes sure their faces are at level as he searches Oscar’s face for something. Beta doesn’t know what he sees there, but whatever it is it makes Lando cup his face gently and say: ‘Really. The prettiest wolf I’ve ever seen. You have white marks on the base of your neck and tail. Your fur is literally the color of your hair. So pretty with such shiny fur and your scent, Osc, gods. It’s like when I press here-‘ Lando presses on Oscar’s scent gland, making him tremble. ‘Like I’m drinking you in right from here. So fresh, a bit sweet, so you. Heavenly.’

Oscar feels like he’s floating on a cloud nine from everything he hears. He presses his lips against Lando’s desperately, moaning and swallowing alpha’s answering moans greedily. He’s practically vibrating with giddiness from everything and when Lando’s hand skims lower, hesitantly cupping him through his underwear, Oscar only moans appreciatively, urging alpha to go on.

‘Fuck, Osc, you sure?’ Lando asks breathily, watching in awe as beta melts into a puddle in his arms, all glassy eyed and rosy cheeked. ‘Baby-‘

‘Want it,’ Oscar interrupts, tugging Lando back to his mouth by the nape of his neck. ‘Want it so much, Lando.’

Lando pauses for a second, looking at Oscar with disbelief, like hearing him admit that he wants it is something unreal; Oscar bites at Lando’s lower lip to kick start his brain and make him catch up with the program. This action brings alpha out of whatever reverie he got lost in and then Oscar has no choice but to succumb, because Lando’s hunger is not something he can stand against. It feels incredible to have Lando’s hand on him and alpha wastes no time in kicking off both blankets and pulling Oscar’s underwear down to get a good grip on his member. There is a heated rush in all of his movements, but Oscar can’t blame him – he’s embarrassingly on board with a sloppy handjob. It’s the combination of emotions running high due to transformation and finally having Lando close that makes him hard and wet in a record time. Lando’s hand jerks him off in earnest with little finesse – just automatic motion with singular goal in mind to make Oscar come as quickly as possible and god, it works. Oscar wishes it didn’t, wants to save some dignity but he’s helpless to the way his lower stomach coils, how his balls tighten when Lando’s teeth assault his neck. The way Lando is so into it with his cloying scent full of pure hunger for Oscar also adds up to the total mix of feelings, making it impossible for him to hod on.

‘Let go,’ Lando rasps, biting his earlobe. ‘I got you, let go.’

That line seems to be the motive of this whole day – Oscar lets go with no shame, keening high in his throat and burying his face in the pillow. His body spasms a little, but there’s nowhere to go with how Lando got him pinned to the bed and Oscar has no choice but to ride out his orgasm with alpha’s hand still on him, stroking him slower now. ‘So hot, shit,’ Lando mutters, letting go of Oscar’s dick when beta kicks his leg from oversensitivity. ‘Mhm, so good, Osc. Been thinking about it all the time when I was there.’

Oscar snorts, trying to gain some sense of composure. ‘Thought of giving me a handjob?’

‘Thought of you,’ Lando replies, disarmingly honest as always.

Oscar’s breath hitches. His mind is still full of cotton after an orgasm and that’s probably why he can’t help but wonder: ‘What about me exactly?’

He’s so greedy for Lando’s opinion on him, to hear his thoughts about him – Oscar wants to know everything. He always was the stoic one, but with Lando he’s an open book, all of his emotions are written on his face, but alpha is different in that sense and Oscar cherishes those glimpses of his mind when it comes about him so much. Lando moves them gently, very aware of how disgusting Oscar will find touching his own semen on the sheet; he hooks his hand around beta’s waist and pulls until they both don’t lie on the other side of the bed. With two fingers he scoops the come drying out on Oscar’s stomach and licks them off clean, not breaking eye contact with Oscar, who in turn feels a kick in his gut, a feeble attempt of his dick to get hard again.

‘Everything,’ Lando answers simply, not looking away from him. ‘I’d lie awake at night and think of how I wish you were there. So I could kiss you. Hold you. Touch you.’ Lando leans in and cranes his neck to nip at Oscar’s scent glands. ‘Scent you. Hear all these pretty noises you make. Make love to you.’

Oscar swallows and moves his head to the side, giving alpha more access. He thinks of ‘I love you’ he heard from Lando yesterday and his chest tightens with feelings too big to name. ‘I missed you,’ Oscar admits quietly, raking his fingers through messy curls. ‘Not knowing what is going on with you drove me crazy.’

I longed for you, Oscar wants to say. I long for you even now when you’re right next to me. Is this crazy? ‘I wanted to come after you.’

Lando pauses and his grip on Oscar’s hips tightens imperceptibly. He slowly moves his head up until he’s facing Oscar. His sea foam eyes are shining with something that has Oscar shivering in anticipation. Lando’s hands cradle his face, holding it strongly as Lando whispers: ‘Would you have? Come after me?’

‘Yes.’ Oscar answers immediately with no hesitation. ‘For you, yes.’

Lando makes a wounded noise, the one that comes from the heart, a spilled secret which is not a secret anymore as he says the words that rattle Oscar’s brain: ‘Fuck, I love you. I love you, Oscar.’

It feels like being sucker-punched if being sucker-punched was ultimately a good experience; whole air leaves his lungs in a one go and his heart slams against the ribs so hard it almost cracks them. Oscar stares at the most beautiful eyes in the world and there’s only love there. Love, honesty, pride, overflowing desire and affection. Lando loves him and even though Oscar heard it already yesterday this time feels different, because Lando is awake and present and he means every single word. Beta’s fingers grasp alpha’s shoulders, and he tries to say something, most importantly – say those three words back – but his mouth refuses to move. Luckily, Lando takes no offense in that, he only smacks their mouths together and thrusts his tongue inside Oscar’s mouth with feverish determination.

‘You don’t have to say it back,’ Lando assures, biting at Oscar’s lips. ‘Just needed you to know. Oscar, Osc, my Osc. Love you so much. Fuck, baby, you wanted to come after me, huh? Missed me that much? Wanted me that much?’

Loved you that much, Oscar corrects him silently in his mind, closing his eyes and letting himself be thoroughly kissed. He doesn’t know why these words refuse to come out now and he doesn’t want to ruin the mood by questioning himself; he only kisses Lando back in a way that he hopes conveys how he feels. Lando kisses Oscar with everything he has, with abandon that’s been reserved in him for years, waiting for that one person. And that person is here, lying beside him, looking impossibly beautiful with his flushed cheeks and light brown eyes and lips that call out for Lando in the most seductive manner. Lando is afraid Oscar won’t be able to withstand the power of his desire; he just wants to eat Oscar whole, wants to rail him, wants to prove to him that he’s the only suitable alpha for him, that there’s no one else out there for Oscar who will fit him as well as Lando. His mind is going crazy with all the scenarios of how he can prove to Oscar his virility, his quality as a mate, how strong and fast and good he can be for Oscar and Oscar only.

‘Lan, slow down, I- fuck!’ Oscar squeaks, when Lando bites at the scent gland, not breaking the skin enough to make it look like a mate bite, but enough for blood to come out.

He can’t slow down. It’s impossible when he finally has Oscar next to him, when he finally said the words he wanted to say; his chest feels lighter than it ever was now that the words are out. ‘Wish I could claim you,’ Lando confesses, not missing the hitch in Oscar’s breath, how beta’s member pressed against his hip stiffens. ‘As my mate.’

‘You-‘ Oscar wets his lips, painting an almost erotic picture with how flushed he is all over. ‘You want- you would-‘

‘Of course I want,’ Lando interrupts, biting playfully at Oscar’s chin. ‘I’d be an idiot not to.’

Lando is not sure how that can work in reality. Sure, non-traditional couples exist, but they are still rare. Nico and Kevin giving each other matching bites almost killed them both and Lando will never risk Oscar’s health for just a claim even if it’s all he wants. His scent thickens and even to Lando it gets too much, but Oscar looks like he wants to do nothing more than bask in it. His own scent responds, the now familiar interlacing happens and if Lando could he’d purr from good it smells, how mouth-watery combination of them is then he’d be purring like an omega.

‘You want to claim me,’ Oscar repeats sort of in awe. He looks like a kid who just saw snow in his life. ‘You- you want to claim. Me.’

Lando is not sure why Oscar finds it that hard to believe, surely he had been obvious enough with his feelings? ‘I love you,’ Lando responds, because now that he said those words he wants to say them all the time. ‘I want you, all of you. Want you as my mate, Oscar.’ Lando sighs, frowning a little. ‘I know betas may not carry alpha’s claim, but- you’re mine anyway, yeah? Aren’t you?’ Lando nuzzles their noses together. ‘My Osc.’

In one second Lando’s about to claim these kissable lips in front of him and in the next Oscar’s face disappears from his view. Beta wriggles in his hold until he’s face to face with Lando’s underwear, which he tugs off impatiently. Lando is too stunned and is no help at first, only lifting his hips when Oscar slaps his thigh; when Oscar shimmies the offending fabric of the way, beta wastes no time in wrapping his hand around Lando’s shaft, pumping it twice with an easy slide due to precome glistening on the tip. ‘What-‘

‘I want it too,’ Oscar mutters and when he looks up at Lando, there’s crazy glint in his eyes that’s mixed with something equally feral. ‘Want to claim you too.’

‘Oscar,’ Lando calls and it comes out all rough as beta lowers his face to where Lando wants him the most. ‘Baby, are you sur-‘

His words die out on his tongue, when Oscar takes the tip into his mouth and sucks on it like a lollipop. All the thoughts fly out of alpha’s head, and he groans loudly at the feeling of a hot, wet mouth around him. His hands grip the sheets tightly and he can’t look away from where Oscar licks at his length like a kitten, looking awed. It’s that look that has Lando hardening even more if it’s possible – Oscar looks at the dick in his hands like it’s something out of this world and Lando pants with his own restraint of not grabbing Oscar’s head and not forcing him to gag on it. God, it feels surreal that Oscar, who has never before been with a man, who never gave anyone a blowjob is now willingly on his knees for Lando. Something dark swirls in his chest, something that is deeply satisfied with taking all of Oscar’s firsts, with being the one to get him like this.

‘Go slow,’ alpha instructs, hoping he doesn’t sound commanding. ‘Don’t try to take it all at once.’

It’s ridiculous how small and dainty Oscar’s hands are, they make Lando’s member look huge and Lando thinks he’s fucked in the head for liking it, for picturing how Oscar will choke on it if he tries to take it all in one go. It takes him a minute to realize that he’s growling uncontrollably, and he can’t cut it off, not when it’s clear how Oscar struggles to open his jaw enough to fit more than just the tip.

‘God, what even-‘ Oscar coughs, pulling off but continuing to pump Lando’s length with his hand. He’s so red at the face and Lando clocks this as embarrassment, which makes him coo at beta gently. ‘Fuck, why are you so…’ Oscar flails, blushing even harder.

Lando is going to pop a knot right here and now if Oscar continues to look at him like that. He never needed any ego stroking, but fuck it’s so different when it’s coming from Oscar. ‘So what? So big?’ The teasing comes off naturally and Lando delights in the way Oscar squirms. ‘You can take it, Osc. And not only in your mouth.’ The last bit was said more as a test and when Oscar sputters, blushing so hard that even his neck and chest go red, Lando thinks he hit a jackpot. His hand moves from where he was gripping the sheets to get a good hang of Oscar’s hair, cradling back of his head firmly but gently. ‘Wanna try?’

‘I, um.’ Oscar chuckles nervously, gnawing at his bottom lip. He looks impossibly innocent and surge of possessiveness rushes through alpha. ‘I don’t think it’ll… fit.’

Lando is going to fucking combust. ‘It will,’ he assures, sounding way too eager. ‘What do you want to do now, baby? Choice is yours. Want to me to take your mouth?’ Lando’s thumb hooks on Oscar’s lips, pleased to see them open on their own, sucking his thumb in. He makes a thrusting motion inside, smirking. ‘Or…’ Lando trails off, taking away his thumb from beta’s mouth. Hs reaches past Oscar’s back, teasingly caressing his buttocks. ‘You want me to.. take you here?’

Oscar probably has no idea the amount of discipline Lando is practicing right now to not just roll them over and claim Oscar the way he wants to claim him. Dirty and fast and hard and punching out moans from Oscar’s chest so loud that others will hear them too. And would’ve it been anyone else his plan of action was going to be exactly that, but it’s Oscar and just the thought of somehow doing something that Oscar won’t like or doesn’t want makes Lando want to retch. Oscar’s hand on his dick squeezes him once, making alpha hiss and buck his hips unintentionally. Oscar’s eyes widen and he stares at nothing lost in deep thought for agonizing several minutes before Lando’s patience runs out. With a huff he brings Oscar back to himself, face to face, kissing him hard enough to kill any of the doubts.

‘We don’t have to do anything, Osc,’ he mutters in between kisses. ‘Just this is also fine, I promise, baby. I didn’t mean to put any pressure-‘

Oscar shakes his head, preventing Lando from kissing him. ‘No-no, Lan, you didn’t put any pressure. I just…’ Oscar sighs in defeat. ‘I want this, want you so much, but I’m just scared that it will… hurt. I’ve never done- I’m quite inexperienced in all of this.’ Oscar admits with a strained smile. ‘As you know.’

Oh, Lando knows. It’s the exact reason why he’s slowly losing his mind now. ‘You sure you want to?’ Lando asks in a whisper and Oscar nods firmly. ‘Do you trust me?’ Another nod, very quick one that makes Lando smile. ‘Do you trust me not to hurt you?’

Oscar blinks. His mouth parts and realization dawns on him. He huffs a laugh, pressing their foreheads together. ‘Yeah. Yeah, I do.’

‘I will never hurt you, Oscar.’ Lando promises and his heart overflows with fierce protectiveness over this boy in his arms. The same boy who is very scared, but who still is willing to try for Lando. His bravest boy.

‘I know, Lan.’ Oscar responds with a small smile of his own.

Lando smiles and pecks his lips. ‘Then let me take you,’ he asks quietly, wrapping both of his arms around Oscar and pulling beta fully on top of him. ‘Let me have you. I will make it so good, Osc. I’ll take such a good care of you, baby.’

Oscar’s eyes soften impossibly. He stares at Lando like he loves him even if he didn’t say those three words back. ‘I know you will, sweetheart.’

Oscar can see the effect of his words on Lando’s face, can sense the shift in his scent how it mellows a little, softens just a tad before it comes back with full force, knocking Oscar’s breath away. Lando kisses him then and the kiss is so achingly sweet that Oscar is stunned by how different Lando can be: how he can devour him in one moment and then kiss him like he’s something precious in the next. His rabbiting heart quietens, and he releases a sound like a sigh, pure relief when Lando envelops him in a hug, pulling him so close that there isn’t a one point where their bodies are not connected.

‘Say that you want it,’ Lando whispers right into his mouth.

He has this crazed look in his eyes like if he won’t get to touch Oscar he is going to die. Oscar colors red. He doesn’t know if there will ever come a time when he stops being shy and embarrassed for anything remotely sexual with Lando, it feels like all alpha does is make him find a new side of himself that is just… insatiable. ‘I want it,’ Oscar whispers with closed eyes.

Lando’s lips move from his mouth to his cheek. ‘Again.’

With watery eyes Oscar swallows past the initial embarrassment and repeats, a bit louder this time: ‘I want it, Lando.’ Oscar can practically taste the smile on Lando’s lips against his cheek. He sighs and adds quietly: ‘So much.’

Alpha is a burning weight on his front and when Lando kisses him again it feels as free as he’s running as a wolf earlier. Lando pours everything into this kiss and Oscar kisses him back with as much fervor, gripping on his shoulders like a lifeline. Lando pulls back and spits on his fingers; before Oscar can let out a crude remark he feels a teasing press on his rim and he whines out loud: ‘Lando!’

‘I’ll do it with my tongue next time,’ alpha whispers and Oscar almost blacks out from the mental image of Lando doing… that. ‘Thought it’d might be too much for you now. But later, when you’ll be ready…’ Lando dives for another kiss, claiming Oscar’s lips like it’s his right. ‘I will eat you out so good. Will spend whole day in between your thighs-‘

‘Shut up,’ Oscar forces out, rubbing his hard shaft against Lando’s hip. ‘Just stop talking-‘

‘You’ll come just from my tongue,’ Lando continues because he has no sense of self preservation and because Oscar’s miserable attempts to not get too aroused are very entertaining for him. ‘It’ll feel so good, Osc, you’ll be addicted to it. Will beg me to fuck you with my tongue all the time and I will do it. will gladly spend my whole life-'

‘For fuck’s sake,’ Oscar clamps Lando’s mouth shut, too aware that he can come just from these words and this constant pressure on his dick alone. ‘Just shut- oh.’

Lando pushes first finger slowly and steady. He doesn’t stop till he doesn’t get it full inside and only then does Oscar exhale, eyes wide as saucers as he stares at alpha. The intrusion feels like a lot and when Lando gingerly moves, Oscar grimaces. They already did it before, but it feels foreign now and only when Lando forcefully tucks his head into his neck right next to his scent gland does Oscar relax.

‘Breathe me in,’ Lando coaxes. ‘You want this and I want it too, you just need to relax for me, baby. Remember how good it felt last time? Hm? Remember? I think about it all the time, Osc. How good you felt, how hot, how tight you were around my fingers. How you moaned so loudly, so prettily. You look so hot when you come, baby. Drive me crazy with your scent and your face and-‘ Lando pauses, when Oscar suddenly arches, moaning. ‘There it is. Feels good, huh?’

It feels fucking fantastic. All thoughts fly out of Oscar’s head and all he can do is hold on for dear life, because Lando doesn’t let up. He keeps on pressing to that one point that makes Oscar see stars behind his eyelids and beta is too far gone by the time one finger turns into three. The pleasure rattles his skull, makes his whole body burn with need of release; Oscar humps at Lando’s rock hard stomach, whimpering at the additional sensation.

‘You said you were mine,’ Lando whispers, steadily pumping three fingers in and out of him.

‘I am,’ Oscar groans, digging his nails into Lando’s shoulders. He latches on alpha’s neck, feeling blissed out from being this close to the source of the most heavenly scent. ‘God, I am, Lando.’

Oscar hopes this will get branded on his skin somehow. If this mating bite won’t take, if it’s impossible for them, then he wants another reminder for everyone and to himself that he is Lando’s, that Lando is his. Wants proof that will never fade seared into his skin, wants to also claim Lando back and-

‘Get on top of me,’ Lando moves him before Oscar can react. ‘Climb a bit higher. It will be easier for you like that, I won’t go too deep.’

Oscar trembles in alpha’s hold, rocking slightly back on Lando’s fingers, addicted to the sleek slide, the constant zings of pleasure running down his spine whenever Lando touches him there. His mouth waters when he thinks of alpha’s thick member finally breaching his entrance, he burns with the want to finally feel it and this burn overshadows his fears, turns them into dust. Oscar’s head swims with Lando’s scent, he’s ready to drown in a sheer amount of desire in it; it’s like there’s this constant chant of want you, mine, mine, want you so bad in every note and Oscar breathes him in big gulps, not being able to get enough. ‘Wanna come,’ he whispers, dragging his cock on alpha’s stomach. ‘Lando, please, make me co-‘

‘Now or with me inside you?’ Lando asks in a hoarse voice.

It’s obvious how hard it is for Lando, how he restrains himself from fucking into Oscar with abandon and the way he keeps giving him choices makes Oscar whine loudly from all the feelings he has for this alpha underneath him. ‘Now, now, want to come now,’ he babbles, overwhelmed. ‘Just-‘

‘Then come.’ Lando hooks his arm around Oscar’s waist, pinning him to himself and not letting him move. His fingers jab harshly inside, easily reaching the place that has Oscar shouting and he presses on relentlessly. ‘Come, Oscar.’

The shout he lets out as his orgasm washes over him sounds almost like it’s being ripped out of his chest. With nowhere to go, pinned to Lando’s body, Oscar shudders through waves of pleasure, coming in hot spurts all over them. His body was so wound tight that when the peak is reached, he feels like jelly, sagging back with a sated satisfaction. Oscar closes his eyes and rests his head on Lando’s shoulder, shivering from the overstimulation.

‘Trust me, yeah?’ Lando asks, voice strained. ‘I’ll go slow.’

Oscar hums noncommittally still in a haze. It doesn’t register at first what is happening, but then he gets tugged down and- ‘Oh.’

‘Big breath for me, Osc.’ Lando instructs. ‘Don’t tense up. It’ll hurt both of us.’

Lando moves tortuously slow just like he promised. Oscar is afraid to move, stunned to silence with the realization that this is happening, when alpha pushes inside. It’s probably just the tip, it doesn’t feel all too different from three Lando’s fingers, but- but. It’s Lando, pushing inside him and Oscar thinks he’s going to vibrate out of his skin. There are no sounds save for Lando’s heavy breathing in his ear, and it takes him a moment to understand that Lando is waiting for something from him, any indication that this is okay and he can keep going. Oscar wets his lips and tries to form words: ‘Uh- yeah, I- uh. You can.’

‘Yeah?’ Lando breathes out and then slides further in and fucking hell. ‘Oscar? All good?’

Oscar feels him in his throat. He thinks he’s going to choke from the stretch, from how his whole body lights and first rejects the idea but then is so, so on board with it that he thinks he’s losing his mind. Lando is not even halfway in, and Oscar already feels like he’s going to die if he’s not going to it all – he shimmies his hips a little, making Lando grunt in surprise. He’s not sure if his body should want it this much – he’s not omega, he doesn’t have this natural disposition for alphas, but then again, Lando seems to not care and Oscar also can’t be bothered with their designations, when being together feels like this.

‘I’m dying here, baby, say something.’ Lando grits through gritted teeth.

Oscar hides his smile in alpha’s neck. ‘I’m good. Full.’

Lando huffs a laugh. ‘Not even close to full, Osc.’ His hands rub soothing circles on his skin. ‘Can I go on?’

Oscar nods. ‘Yeah, you can.’

Lando is almost reverent in the way he moves. How slowly he pulls Oscar lower, making him take more of him. Oscar is sure he’ll have bruises tomorrow from where alpha is gripping him so tight and this thought only arouses him more – he wants them. Wants those reminders that it happened, that Lando wanted him that much, that they really did get together in the most intimate way possible. The push in is constant and seems to be never-ending – by the time Lando bottoms out, they are both panting but for different reasons.

‘So tight.’ Lando hisses, biting Oscar’s shoulder. ‘God, I will- fuck. Talk to me, Osc. Please, talk to me.’

Oscar shakes with the onslaught of new feelings and he only can instinctively reach out for Lando’s hand and interlace their fingers together. It’s so much – he feels so full and Lando is everywhere: inside him, underneath him, around him. He’s panting but all he can breathe is Lando again and it just- almost too much. Almost. Because Oscar feels the way his heart lights up as this – being surrounded by Lando – feels like claiming. And there’s nothing Oscar wants more than that, to be claimed and claim back.

‘Lando,’ Oscar chokes out, calls in a desperate way that makes alpha instantly tighten his hold on him. ‘I’m- good. Move, please.’

‘Look at me.’ Alpha demands, gripping Oscar’s nape. ‘Look at me, now.’

The flush spreads down Oscar’s neck, every bit of him burning hot. He turns and gets sucked into the sea of Lando’s eyes, into the brewing storm there. Lando’s gaze is focused, fixed, unrelenting even when it’s obvious that he’s shimmering with desire to just fuck up into Oscar’s heat. Oscar doesn’t know how Lando holds on without losing himself in this, how he stays sane even though it’s clear what great strain it takes to just keep going slow.

‘You good?’ Lando asks, groaning a little. It’s insane how all of this affects Lando. ‘I can pull out-‘

‘No!’ Oscar clutches at alpha’s shoulders. Losing this fullness, this warmth makes him panic. ‘No, please-‘

‘Please?’ Lando shifts, propping both legs up for balance. ‘Please? Fucking hell, Osc. Gonna be the death of me.’ Lando licks a long stripe from base of Oscar’s neck to his jaw. ‘Please, shit. Want it, huh? Want it that much?’

‘Yes,’ Oscar confesses in a quiet exhale. ‘Yes, I do, so please-‘

Lando couldn’t have held himself back even if he tried. The tight velvety heat around him peels off his layers of self-control with alarming speed and Lando is too weak to not succumb to it. His grip on Oscar’s buttocks turns bruising as he pulls them, forces Oscar to open up more and then in a one fluid motion he pulls out and slams back in. For a second Lando goes deaf from Oscar’s loud wail and his own primal growl; his teeth close around Oscar’s neck in retaliation when beta clenches around him.

‘Lando,’ Oscar pants, hiccupping. ‘Lando, I-‘

‘You wanted it,’ Lando wheezes out, shaking. He readjusts his grip, now clutching at beta’s hips. ‘You wanted it so much, now take it.’

Lando pictured it differently. He thought he’d take his sweet time with Oscar. He thought he’d spend forever worshipping him, being so gentle and tender. In reality, he fucks into him with force that makes bed shake and creak pathetically. In reality, he catches Oscar’s moans with his mouth and doesn’t stop even when he sees tears build up in beta’s eyes. In reality, he’s so far gone that his fangs elongate, that he doesn’t even notice how Oscar hardens again. Oscar’s whimpers and broken cries are music to his ears, his scent full of arousal and satisfaction makes him growl approvingly, loving how his mate is enjoying this.

‘Lan,’ Oscar calls and there’s something achingly desperate in his tone which makes Lando pay attention. ‘Lan, kiss me. Please, kiss me.’

Lando complies all too eagerly. He realizes that maybe this feels too much like fucking and too little like making love and he tries to conveys all his feelings in the kiss, sucking Oscar’s tongue in. ‘My bravest boy,’ he mutters, delighting in Oscar’s answering whine. ‘Fuck, all mine, yeah? My Osc. Taking me so well. God, you’re a dream, Oscar. You feel so good, baby, it’s insane.’ He can tell how praise hits Oscar, how he arches up in his hold unsure whether to push back or push closer.

‘Too much,’ Oscar mutters, dragging his nails across Lando’s chest.

‘You can take it,’ Lando says confidently, staring in awe at Oscar’s teary eyes. ‘So pretty, baby. You can give me one more, yeah? Just one more.’

Lando can feel his knot swelling and he knows Oscar won’t be able to take it; he never knotted someone who wasn’t an omega and he doesn’t want to hurt Oscar. Slowing down his thrusts Lando moves until he partially sits, changing the angle for Oscar too. ‘Sit up a little,’ Lando guides him. ‘Now grind on me, Osc.’

It’s unfathomably cute how Oscar manages to blush and look a bit awkward even in this state. ‘Grind as in…?’

‘Just like that,’ Lando forcefully moves his hips, grinning wild when Oscar throws his head back in pleasure. ‘Yeah, baby, use me. Take what you need, Osc, cmon.’

Lando can feel his orgasm approaching from a distance, ready to wreck him like a train. Keeping his hands on Oscar’s hips in order to control his movements and not let him slip too close to the base where knot is forming, Lando stares hypnotized at the most beautiful view. Oscar deserves to be painted and worshipped when he looks like this, alpha thinks. Face confronted in pleasure, skin rosy pink and glistening with sweat and streaks of come, dick hard and bobbing with every move, thighs plush and strong around Lando’s hips. Lando can stare at him forever and not get bored, wishes he didn’t have to blink so he won’t miss a second of this. ‘

So beautiful,’ Lando murmurs sincerely. ‘So mine.’

Oscar sobs at that, looking down at Lando with the most pitiful expression ever. ‘Lando.’

‘What? What is it, baby?’ Lando reaches out and pinches his nipple, smiling at how Oscar squirms in his hold. ‘Wanna come?’ Oscar nods frantically, leaning down, asking for a kiss. Lando bites at his lower lip, sucking it in before diving for a dirty kiss. ‘So greedy today, Osc. Came so many times already.’

‘Greedy for you,’ Oscar answers hotly, pulling at alpha’s hair. When he looks at Lando, his eyes have this crazed glint like he’s not fully himself when he mutters: ‘You’re mine too, Lando. If you have me like this-‘ Oscar moans, when Lando starts fucking up a little at him again. ‘If you’re the only one who gets to have me like this then I- you’re mine too. I’m the only one who can-‘ Oscar’s hand drops to Lando’s chest right above his heart. ‘This is mine.’

Lando’s knot pops on a fucking command. With a ragged breath Lando grips Oscar’s waist, puts him in a sitting position and pistons his hips in an unrelenting speed, making beta cry out. Lando thinks he’s having an out-of-body experience because Oscar’s words filled with possessiveness seared into his brain and melted it. His heart kicks at his chest with desire to be set free, with need to jump into Oscar’s hands and stay there. ‘God, Oscar, yes.’ Lando keeps on thrusting, ignoring Oscar’s pleas that it’s too much and he needs to slow down. ‘Yours, baby, yours. All yours, you have me, Oscar, all of me. Love you, love you so much-‘

‘Lando, Lando, too much, I- oh.’

The way Oscar clenches when he orgasms tips Lando off the peak too. He pushes Oscar off him, rolls him to the side and comes all over beta’s body, shaking with the force of it. His knot swells up and the amount of come would’ve been embarrassing if only Lando was lucid enough to be aware of it. Lando is only aware of Oscar’s crying face, his glassy eyes, the awed look at his face. Oscar barely has anything left in him and Lando is still coming; his cave man brain makes him scoop up some of the come and push it back into Oscar’s gaping hole, making beta twitch in shock. Oscar looked completely undone, hazed look in his eyes, fucked out with heavy limbs and sated hunger. Oscar looked like Lando’s.

‘My Osc,’ Lando calls, leaning in and brushing their noses together. His knot is still swollen, locked and hurting, but alpha can’t care less. ‘My baby. You with me, yes?’

Oscar blinks slowly twice before focusing his gaze on Lando. His vision swims a little in front of him, but he nods. He feels like life was sucked out of him but in the most pleasant way. When Lando pushes his fingers inside again, Oscar lets out a strangled moan loving the feeling of being full but hating how sensitive he is. He feels like he’s floating somewhere high and when alpha moves to grab something for a clean up, he doesn’t even acknowledge it, too busy trying to return into his body again, to feel real. Lando dotes around him with gentleness that makes Oscar hum in satisfaction; buzzing in his body is still present, he is still tingling with remnants of three orgasms.

‘You were perfect,’ Lando whispers, kissing up his spine. Oscar’s thighs tremble a little, when alpha pushes them open and he coos, leaving kisses on tender skin. ‘So perfect.’

Oscar only pushes his thighs further apart shamelessly, twitching when Lando rubs a bit too harshly on the skin. He opens his eyes, blearily finding alpha’s form and focusing on his swollen knot with furrowed eyebrows. ‘Lan,’ he calls, sounding hoarse from all the shouting and moaning. ‘What…’ Oscar trails off, pointedly looking at the knot.

‘It will deflate soon, don’t worry.’ Lando kisses his knee and carefully arranges his legs, so he won’t end up touching pool of cum on the bedsheet. ‘It usually goes down pretty quickly when I’m locked in-‘ Lando pauses, flushing. ‘I mean. When I’m-‘

‘Inside someone,’ Oscar finishes, coherent enough to understand alpha. Lando nods bashfully. ‘Oh. Well, you should have-‘

‘No,’ Lando shakes his head. He tenderly brushes Oscar’s sweaty hair out of his forehead, smiling at him softly. ‘I think you had enough firsts today.’

Oscar can’t help but chuckle. ‘That’s for sure.’ There’s a bit of silence that passes between them, when they both just stare at each other softly and then Oscar whispers: ‘Thank you.’

Lando’s eyes widen. He tilts his head to the side like a confused puppy. ‘For what?’

For loving me. For finding me. For being you. For helping me find myself. ‘For everything,’ Oscar breathes out. You are everything to me goes unsaid.

Lando stares at him for a full minute, eyes searching for something in Oscar’s face that might give him a clue what is this really about. Oscar doesn’t know what kind of expression he has on, he’s too tired and relaxed to try and control his face; he thinks he’s probably wearing his heart on his sleeve now, all his love and affection obvious in his heart eyes. It seems to be the case because Lando leans in, cages him in between his arms and whispers: ‘I love you, Oscar.’

Oscar doesn’t say it back. But he kisses Lando in such way and threads his fingers through alpha’s hair in such manner that he knows Lando will understand – he loves him too.

=+=

Logan swallows thickly, feeling deeply unsettled. One of the Elders grasps him by the shoulder and squeezes, making him stand up straight. ‘I just think,’ Logan tries, feeling incredibly small under heavy gaze. ‘I think maybe this is excessive? We can surely think of something else. Maybe-‘

‘Are you questioning our ways, Sargeant?’

Logan bites his lower lip. ‘I-‘

‘We governed the peace of this village for centuries. We will continue to do so if Gods will allow. Shall something arise that might threaten the peace we try to protect, it's only our duty to take care of it.'

Logan nods. He can do nothing else even if his stomach is in knots, even when everything inside him screams that this is wrong. Next to him Yuki looks just as unsettled, but he has even lesser say in these matters, so he stays silent. The heavy gaze of The Elders settles on both of them waitingly and Logan mutters that they understood everything before excusing themselves. 

'You're a good boy, Logan. You chose the right side,' one of The Elders says, smiling at him softly. 

Unease he felt before fades and Logan nods, more sure now. 'Thank you.' 

Yuki eyes him with something unreadable in his eyes and says nothing. When they exit the temple, Yuki fixes Logan with a death glare. 'Don't be an idiot, Logan. This is crazy. They are crazy. We should-'

Logan only ignores him, scowling. 'You don't be an idiot. Don't fuck anything up, you hear me? Just act according to the plan.'

Yuki watches Logan leave with a heavy heart. He glances at the side where Oscar's house is and bites his lower lip. He debates for few moments what should he do and then decides that ultimately, it's not his place to intervene. He goes back to the kitchen, ignoring his heart screaming at him to do the right thing. 

Notes:

i am BACK! i'm so sorry for taking so long for an update - I finally had an actual vacation!! never meant to go so long without updating though, hope you didn't lose the interest to the story!
as a little thank you for waiting for me gift - hope you enjoyed this chapter, where i brought you 11k of smut hehe. hopefully oscar's first time was up to your standards babes, let me knoooow <33
i also tried mixing lando and oscar's povs here for the first time, how was it for you? confusing or you guys liked it?

starting angst in the next chapter, i updated the tags with 'minor characters death' cause. uh. you know.
anyways! i am going to Baku GP guys :') so next chapter might also take a while.. just a heads up.

i love you all and i hope you stayed healthy, please take care of yourselves. thank you as always for your amazing support on this fic. truly, you're the best <3 - nini

come talk to me on my TUMBLR

Notes:

hi hi <3 welcome to the new story that i finally gathered the courage to write. just few points that i think are important:
- oscar is a beta. oscar will stay beta throughout the whole story. oscar will NOT turn into an omega here. after long time of looking for beta!oscar fics i'm finally writing one of my own and this boy!! is!! staying!! a beta!!
- there'll be no heats, no mpreg
- it's not a fluffy story. lots of general sadness, but i'm not putting 'heavy angst' tag for a reason.
- slow burn-ish? sort of? i mean lando and oscar are not going to be together by chapter 5.

i think that's it, hopefully after reading it you're still up for this emotional ride :') come and talk to me on my tumblr: sentimentaals <3