Chapter Text
1. As a little boy (12 years)
He squeezes the money bag in his hand with force, moving through the market street at a fast pace, looking around nervously. It was his first errand since arriving in the Go family, and he didn’t want to make a mistake. The young master, Sang Wan, had specifically ordered him to pick up his new study book from the shop owner.
In five years, he had already changed three noble families; this was the fourth. It was different from the other times, though, because he really liked the Go family. They were nice, even if they shouldn’t be. He wanted to stay with them.
He is pulled forward by his clothes, taken as if he were a stray cat. He does not rebel and diligently keeps his eyes turned to the ground. If he had protested or even looked up, things would have gotten worse.
"There he is, the little thief," growled the young master Park, tightening the fabric of his dress tighter until it almost suffocated him. "You dared touch my things without permission?"
He doesn’t answer and is carried away. He hadn’t done anything, just the usual cleaning, but he knew that explaining would be useless.
The young master was just looking for a reason to come at him. The fist that lands on his back makes him stagger. Before he realizes it, he is let go by the sudden interruption and almost falls to his knees.
"Be careful there; the boy is owned by Lord Go," a firm voice intervenes. An elegant man in formal clothes stands on the threshold, accompanied by a civil servant with scrolls in his hand.
The young master Park immediately recovers, assuming a respectful expression. "Of course, sir. I was just correcting inappropriate behavior."
The man from the Go family looks at Haengrang with eyes attentive but not cruel. "Is this the boy? He seems healthy, despite everything."
"Yes, sir," answers anxious Lord Park, appearing from the inner room.
"He is a diligent worker, though sometimes he needs discipline." He tries to justify his son’s behavior by giving him a reproachful look when no one is watching.
Well, except for him, but nobody pays attention to a slave anyway.
Haengrang hears the words being exchanged over his head as if he weren't present. The official unrolls a scroll.
"The sale contract is ready. The debt of fifty nyang will be considered settled by the transfer of the servant Haengrang to the Go family."
While the adults discuss legal details, Haengrang risks a quick glance at the Go man. He sees no contempt in that man’s eyes, but what looks like understanding.
"Pack your things," says the Go man kindly, addressing him directly. "It’s time to go home."
Home. The word resounds strangely in his ears. Since he was separated from his mother, no place had ever really been home.
That’s why he couldn’t afford to fail again. The Go family were good people - they showed it from day one. They were not perfect; they were still his masters, but they treated him as a human being, not as an object.
He takes a deep breath, now more relaxed for having completed the errand without any hitches. He heads for the road to the Go residence and is so relieved that he doesn't notice a wagon full of objects approaching from across the street. When he is too close to not see it, it’s too late. He doesn’t get hit fully, but he manages to escape. However, in the hurry of getting out of the way, the wrapped book flies out of his hands.
While he falls to the ground, the breath is stolen from him by the hard collision with the earth. Chaos arises after the accident, and a myriad of voices curse him with all kinds of insults that can be heard.
"You’re crazy! Do you want to die?" comes a voice close by, different from the others in the group. He slowly opens his eyes, confused. He turns to find a familiar girl. Around them, a great quantity of fabrics is scattered on the ground while everyone is busy collecting them with anxious haste.
"Haengrang?" the little girl asks, confused, before anger frames her face again.
"Only you can be so distracted that you do not notice a cart was coming," she complains in a petulant tone, continuing to reproach him.
He barely stands up; a pinch of pain comes from his back, making a small sound due to the sensation.
"Do you even know what you’ve done? These fabrics are for Lord Kim’s new wife. When they hear about this, you will be in trouble again," she continues. At those words, Haengrang’s eyes widen in terror. The child, with that frightened expression, falls immediately silent.
Haengrang passes her without turning another look, too overwhelmed by anxiety. He looks around, plucking at the cloth on the ground, increasingly alarmed when he cannot find what he is looking for underneath. A strong grip on his arm prevents him from continuing his search.
"What are you doing? Do you really want to be beaten?" she says in a tone that seems half worried and half provocative. This is enough to awaken Haengrang from his torpor.
"Haman, you must help me," he begs, returning the grip on her arm in desperation.
"Where is the book I was holding?" he asks, hoping to receive an answer. Haman doesn’t have time to answer because, a moment later, Haengrang is again rummaging through the clothes fallen on the ground. In the chaos that lies on the ground, he intrudes on the path of several adults, receiving annoyed exclamations and various reproofs, but he cannot feel them, absorbed as he is in his desperate search.
He’s about to burst into tears; he was wrong again, and he’ll be sent away. Just when he had grown so fond of the Go family, just when he had found a place he liked. After this, he knew that both Lord Go and Master Sang Wan would never want to see him again. Tears run out of his eyes uncontrollably, and he finds himself sobbing on the dusty road.
A hand hands him a familiar package. Haengrang takes it with trembling hands, handling it carefully and observing it to see if it has been ruined. Fortunately, it looked unharmed. He looks up and sees the eyes of Haman. They look on silently as more tears fall on Haengrang’s cheeks, this time tears of relief.
"Of course, you are a crybaby" comments the child, sighing disconsolately.
"Thank you. I will be forever grateful" he answers in a deeply touched tone for her help. She waves her hand with a slow, puffing gesture. Haengrang stands up again, now embarrassed for crying in front of everyone, in front of her.
"You’re a strange guy, aren’t you?" The question, even if asked aloud, doesn't seem to refer to him; rather, it seems like she is talking more to herself.
By getting himself together, he realizes the trouble he has created. Those fabrics looked incredibly valuable; if the Go family wouldn’t have sent him away for ruining a book, they would surely have done it for this.
The adults didn't seem to notice him yet, still trying to collect everything. Fear settles in his stomach like a boulder. He swallows a bitter bite.
He is about to apologize and ask for forgiveness when a steel grip grabs his hand, interrupting him. Before he knew it, he was running across the street, away from the confusion.
Haman was taking him away. They run for quite a while before she abruptly stops and makes him bump into her.
"We must go back; I must apologize," he tries to say between breaths, leaning on a wall to support himself, the book still firmly in his hands.
"Are you crazy?" she yells at him, giving him a tap on the arm. Haengrang makes a sound of pain as he stares at her in dismay. She struck hard.
"Haengrang, do not make any more trouble, or you will be sent away again" she rebukes him with the classic serious and super-cool tone that she used to use with him. It didn’t matter that he was older than her; Haman had no scruples.
Although her tone was always harsh when she addressed him, he could always tell it was for his own good because her intentions were incredibly good, just as they are now.
He bursts into tears again. All that time, he had not realized how much he had missed her. She was the only good thing he had left when he was sent away by Lord Park. Haman makes a annoying sound at his sudden outburst.
His hand is still tight in her iron grip, and even if it begins to hurt, he doesn't want her to let him go. Haman sighs in exasperation.
"Come home" she says, giving him a slight push forward, prompting him to move. And the grip slowly loosens.
Unconsciously, his hand follows hers, trying to get back to that comforting touch, but before he can do so, he stops. He doesn’t have the courage to do it.
"Don’t make me repeat it again" she reproaches more severely. This makes him cry louder, moved by her concern.
"What about you?" he asks hesitantly, wiping his tears and not wanting to leave her in trouble. He knows well that the punishments can be harsh, and in the worst case, one could be sent away. He doesn't want to see the same happen to her.
"I will say that you ran away and that I lost sight of you while chasing you. No one has seen you, so it will work out" she reassures him with a confident voice. Haengrang still nods, alarmed by the situation but encouraged by her words.
Haman turns around and is about to go away when she turns back for a long look.
"Crybaby" she whispers, shaking her head before running away. Haengrang watches her turn the corner and leans against the empty wall, overwhelmed by all those strong feelings. He looks at the hand she had held. The next time he sees her, he will surely take her hand.