Chapter Text
“Oh Xianle, I think you need to learn your place.”
Xie Lian looked with a wild look of terror at Jun Wu, who was smiling at him ever-so-gently, having just bestowed a second cursed shackle upon the flesh of his ankle, sealing away all his luck.
“But—” Xie Lian started to speak, mind still broken from the events of the past few days: the rage, the pain, the despair, the sorrow.
Jun Wu placed a hand on his shoulder. “You are banished from the Heavens, Xianle. Just as you wish. However,” Xie Lian shivered from dread as the Heavenly Emperor brought his lips right next to his ear, “you shan’t be banished from my heart so easily.”
It was then when Xie Lian understood the futility of his request to continue living his life as a fallen god in the mortal realm, Jun Wu’s powerful alpha scent floating in the air around him and making him dizzy with it. He couldn’t stop thinking that there was something destructively evil all of a sudden behind Jun Wu’s otherwise calm expression, something that reminded him of—
He didn’t have time to finish that thought before his world went dark.
You shan’t be banished from my heart. Those words rang in Xie Lian’s ears for the next centuries, when he was locked up in the Heavenly Capital and paraded around with his cursed shackles visible for everyone to see, a warning in the shape of an immortal, fallen, unlucky god of what it meant to go against Jun Wu.
Centuries, during which Jun Wu endlessly used him as his rut slave, his body reduced to nothing but a means for the powerful alpha to take his pleasure, again and again, until Xie Lian’s hoarse screams died down as he faded in and out of consciousness, body sore and hurting.
It was hell. It was torture. None of the other gods knew, there was no one to rescue him.
It wasn’t like anyone cared, either.
The Heavenly Emperor’s every rut felt like Xie Lian was reliving the worst events of his life all over again, his body used and violated, turned to ash and dust and rotten nothings while he was utterly unable to escape. He could only watch and scream, and hope for some sort of relief, maybe an escape from his own mind.
He had soon learned that struggling was pointless. Jun Wu didn’t hesitate to use his inner alpha over Xie Lian’s inner omega, scruffing him easily and forcing him down, dominating him to degrees Xie Lian hadn’t even realized was possible.
The passionate, filthy moans of “Xianle, Xianle” kept ringing in his ears even when he wasn’t needed, waking him up from his dreams, sweaty and terrified.
They rang in his ears as Jun Wu collared him, forcing him to sit at his feet in his palace, body supple and pliant and shamed.
They rang in his ears when he saw the disgusted looks on Feng Xin’s and Mu Qing’s faces as they took in the state of their former dianxia.
But even when he was blinking back tears of humiliation, Xie Lian kept smiling. His lips were pulled upwards into a gentle smile, but his gaze was empty, resigned, defeated and broken. Won’t someone help me, he often wanted to ask, but the urge died after a couple of centuries. There was no one who cared about him anymore. No followers, no believers. No people for him.
He was truly a prince of a non-existent nation, a god of non-existent devotees.
And so Xie Lian suffered, chained to the Heavens by Jun Wu’s spiritual might. With his spiritual powers sealed and an ever-watchful alpha breathing down his neck, he was unable to escape and descend to the mortal realm to seek refuge.
Surprisingly, Jun Wu never mated him, and it was as much a curse as it was a blessing.
Xie Lian might have been a god, but he wasn’t beyond his omega instincts. During his solitary time in the confines of his chambers-prison, he felt endlessly grateful that Jun Wu had spared him. He might not be able to die, but he surely as hells wouldn’t have survived the utter humiliation of being mated to his captor, his tormentor—the one he had looked up at one point but who had turned all Xie Lian’s respect to pain and anguish and fury.
But Jun Wu, of course, knew what he was doing. It was by nature that a sexually active omega craved a mating bond. It was detrimental to an omega’s health to continue being knotted and to be surrounded by alphas’ rut scents while not given a proper bite.
As a consequence, Xie Lian’s own heats, although they only arrived twice a year, were infernal, driving him insane. He suffered alone unbearably for days as a heated, writhing pained mess, sweaty and tortured, begging to be knotted, bitten, claimed.
Jun Wu never attended to his needs, nor did anyone else.
“Xianle, if I was to care for your needs, what punishment would that serve,” whispered Jun Wu once, stroking his messy hair after one of his heats, decades into his forced stay in the Heavenly Capital as the Heavenly Emperor’s secret rut slut. “Xianle needs to repent,” smiled Jun Wu and Xie Lian was too exhausted to do anything about it.
He had always thought he was being punished for the atrocities he was about to commit that fateful day, endlessly baited by the mocking, terror-filled existence of White No-Face. Little did he know that he was being punished for not committing this crime.
To protect his fractured psyche, Xie Lian found ways of entertaining himself. He stared from the windows of his chambers, counting the clouds and the marbled tiles of the heavenly pathways. He practiced calligraphy with his hands, ink staining his fingertips as he wasn’t given a proper quill. He also often sang to himself with a quiet sweet voice, songs of bygone days, of disappeared nations. As he sang, he let his heart wander in the memoryscape of what had once been his life, only to find it too painful and humiliating.
And hence he changed the themes of his songs. He sang of the fine deeds of good, gracious gods, of brilliant futures in foreign, yet to be birthed countries. He sang of animal and flowers, of mountains and the sun and the rain.
He sang of ghosts but once more his memories assaulted him full force. The image of Wuming and his steely, unwavering dedication making his flesh tingle in goosebumps as it popped into his mind, completely forbidden. Just the mere thought of the Wrath’s devotion made his breath hitch and eyes turn watery. Xie Lian was never worthy of such a thing, that will to let Xie Lian remain untainted.
He remembered how Wuming’s delicious and strong alpha scent sometimes floated into Xie Lian’s nostrils in the midst of his madness, calming him down if only a bit. Flowery and flickering with a hint of exotic spice. Xie Lian had returned the favor by trampling that flower Wuming had gifted him, crushing it under his boot in his righteous anger.
Centuries had passed, and maybe it was exactly because of that, but he couldn’t think of Wuming without succumbing to a tidal wave of searing mental anguish. Wuming had been his incomplete mirror; whereas he had wanted to see a monster, Wuming told him the opposite. He was forever a thorn on Xie Lian’s side, so maybe it was only fitting that Xie Lian was left mourning his ghost General and his dreadful, untimely fate.
“You really can’t protect anyone,” Jun Wu had laughed at him with his soft commanding voice, eyes full of mirth. “Such a god of misfortune, you bring nothing but unhappiness.” Then he had kissed Xie Lian’s forehead. “Luckily for you I’m willing to have you, Xianle.”
In the end, Xi Lian was barely able to hold on to his sanity anymore, but the first thing he had decided upon realizing his fate was that he wouldn’t give Jun Wu the pleasure of breaking.
And he hadn’t.
When Xie Lian threw up a few weeks after Jun Wu’s latest rut, he knew immediately what had happened.
Panic surged through him in flashes.
This couldn’t be, this was supposed to be impossible. Omegas could only get pregnant while bred during their heats, and Xie Lian had never had a heat partner. But turning his attention inwards, he found his suspicion to be true. There was a bundle of wild spiritual energy growing inside him, still nothing but a small cluster of cells, but all the more unwelcome.
He threw up from the mere thought of it, of the fact that he had a part of Jun Wu growing inside him. It felt like a grand cosmic joke, as if he was being laughed by all the gods and spiritual beings in all three realms.
Xie Lian gritted his teeth. He couldn’t let Jun Wu know; there was no way Xie Lian was going to give birth to this baby. Although he respected life, he refused to have his tormentor’s child, born from hate and rage and all things ugly.
He desperately needed to find out a way to terminate the pregnancy. Not for the first time, Xie Lian hoped he could actually just die. What was there for him to live for anymore anyway? Nothing, nothing. Everything was gone, it was all his fault.
Gazing inwards, he found the fetus to be brimming with spiritual energy. After counting back to when Jun Wu had last had his way with Xie Lian, he assumed the fetus was around seven weeks old.
Despite being an omega, Xie Lian wasn’t particularly knowledgeable about pregnancy and all the things that came with it. He had always been sheltered in court, both his parents and his Guoshi emphasizing the importance of cultivation instead of his omega instincts. Through cultivation he had been able to access enough power to subdue his heats altogether. Hence, pregnancy had never been something he had minded about.
When his spiritual powers had been locked after his first banishment, he had started to have his heats. But even then, he had never succumbed, just suffering through them much like he did now. The only thing that made them bearable then was his cultivation and the fact that he wasn’t sexually active.
He knew enough of the spiritual side of pregnancy and childbirth, though, to reach the conclusion that the fetus’ energy would shift to that of a proper baby somewhere around the 12th week. In his case, with the baby being a descendant of Jun Wu’s and blessed with his abundant, depthless spiritual powers, Xie Lian assumed that the fetus would gain a burst in powers around that time even though he had nothing to give to the fetus.
A devious and dangerous plan started to form in his head.
If he timed his actions well, he could use the fetus’ spiritual powers to jump down from the Heavens and make himself disappear into the mortal realm. Even a mating bond couldn’t reveal his location, for which he felt great relief. And once in the mortal realm, he could find a village healer to terminate the pregnancy while chanting sutras to prevent the fetus from lingering in the realms as a vengeful half-ghost, half-deity.
And, in case everything went wrong, Xie Lian would enter the Ghost Realm to look for the ashes of the fetus or the spirit itself to make sure it was properly pacified and dispersed.
He shuddered as another wave of nausea hit him, making him retch horribly, nothing but yellow bile seeping from his mouth. What a pitiful, horrible creature he had turned out to be, planning the murder of his own child.
He held his head in his hands.
—No, not his child. A spirit born from bottomless humiliation, violation and tears with no right to even exist.
He reached out to gently touch his flat belly as tears started streaming down his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “but you cannot be allowed to live.” His gentle touch turned vicious, fingers digging into the skin under the light fabric of his pants, leaving black bruises behind.
Xie Lian spent the next weeks meditating even more than before. Luckily no one at the Heavenly Capital cared for him or searched for him, many having decided to avoid him altogether to avoid further misfortune.
The only one who tried to approach him from time to time was Feng Xin, always with a depressed look on his face and eyes glinting with unhappiness as he stared at his former prince, god, dianxia, now fallen from grace, prisoned and humiliated. Mu Qinq stayed away, Xie Lian’s feelings regarding that were complicated.
Nausea was his constant companion. He threw up occasionally, a few times a day, feeling wretched for the rest of the time. Tiny twinges of pain were zigzagging all over his crotch and lower belly, and he was feeling constantly winded.
Whatever he did, whatever he ate, however much he rested—he just kept feeling awful. It was clear that the fetus was feeding on his life energy, sucking and gnawing his very soul and feasting on the depths of despair that lingered. Xie Lian felt its spiritual powers get more powerful in the confines of his womb. Something about those powers made Xie Lian deeply uneasy: they weren’t completely divine, rather there was something evil swirling about, inexorably tangled in the divinity of the fetus.
The more he thought about it, the more he realized he really wanted to get rid of the soul-sucking fetus and make sure it was gone and pacified.
After suffering for a time and trying to keep count of the passing of time in his scentless, sensory-deprived solitary existence, Xie Lian inherently knew it was time.
He had asked Feng Xin to come and take him outside for a small walk. “I’ve been locked inside for so long, so won’t you, dear Feng Xin, please let me out for just a few minutes,” he had begged and smiled coyly, his hands trembling nervously. Feng Xin, forever wanting to do the morally right thing, had confirmed with Jun Wu who, for some reason or another, had let this pass.
Just this once. Because apparently, he hated to see poor Xianle all pale and gauntly, ashen like a ghost.
“Come on, dianxia,” said Feng Xin and unlocked the sturdy, magically sealed door which separated Xie Lian’s chambers-prison from the rest of the Capital. His hand was cool against the skin of Xie Lian’s arm as he grabbed it.
“Ahh Feng Xin,” Xie Lian smiled, “you really shouldn’t call me that anymore.” His heart twisted with each word and each step. The smile was completely fake, but his aide didn’t seem to notice.
Feng Xin held his head high stubbornly, eyes open and unblinking, staring at the beautifully decorated marble pathway in front of them. “But to me you will always be that.”
Xie Lian shook his head sorrowfully with a small smile lingering on his lips. “You can think what you like, Feng Xin. They’re just empty words. But I won’t hold it against you.”
Feng Xin turned to stare at him with a strange expression on his face before leading them further away from where Xie Lian had been staying. Xie Lian’s fell silent next to him, turning his attention entirely inward, reaching out for that ever-growing ball of spiritual power inside him.
He had practiced this a few times; of how to invert the flow of spiritual energy between them, and found out that it was indeed possible. Of course he couldn’t drain the fetus of its powers completely, but he could probably draw enough energy from it to give him a push for his jump to the mortal realm. All he needed was an intolerably heightened emotional state.
Xie Lian didn’t particularly want to think about how he was going to leave Feng Xin to explain how a fallen god with sealed powers had managed to overthrow a mighty Martial God and escape. He found himself oddly caring not too much, already feeling a distance grow between himself and the Heavenly Realm.
“Feng Xin.” He breathed out a sigh and closed his eyes, suddenly trembling on his feet.
“Dianxia?” Feng Xin was there in an instant, so fast that it was almost comical.
After all these years.
“I don’t feel so good. Can you get me a vial of Soothing Whispers to calm down my skin? It has been such a long time since I’ve been outside, must be all the sudden brightness and sunshine. Haha,” he laughed a little, a self-deprecating little sound. It wasn’t necessarily all lies.
“Dianxia, but I…”
Xie Lian saw the hesitation on Feng Xin’s face as his former bodyguard was torn between his duties and doing what was right.
“Will you stay where I leave you, dianxia?”
Xie Lian gave him a shaky yet brilliant smile, plastering his hand against his belly. “Of course, Feng Xin. Where would I go?”
Feng Xin nodded once, curtly, and made haste to retrieve the asked vial. Xie Lian immediately pushed his hand against his belly tighter, closing his eyes and starting to chant sutras of power extraction. He turned his inner gaze and all his attention to the spiritually charged parasite inside him, feeling a tremendous surge of anger for the first time in a very long time.
He had been calm and collected until now. He had been rational because it was been imperative to his plan. He had suffered through the symptoms, smiling while he was throwing up. He had borne this century-long violation of his body and mind, his life and thoughts, freedom and secondary gender.
But no more. He. Just. Couldn’t. Take. It. Any. Longer.
With an angry shout Xie Lian pushed his fingertips inside his belly and squeezed his womb until his white clothes were soaked red with his blood. And as his blood flowed out, the spiritual powers of the fetus in distress flowed inwards, back into Xie Lian, who digested them, letting them flow free in his body.
The powers were still weak, nothing like his when he still was a proper god, but he knew there was just enough for him to close his eyes, scream, and…
Jump.
The last thing he was aware of before losing his consciousness was that he was free-falling, droplets of blood floating in the air around him and causing bloody rain to fall, and that the crimson red color of them was inexplicably beautiful.
Chapter 2
Notes:
Hi! Got this chapter out sooner than I thought! I'm so enthralled by this story, why oh why do I have three other ongoing fics? Huh.
Thank you so much for all the kind support for and encouragement to the first chappy! It made me super glad! I can't believe I'm writing this horrible whumpy piece after just having written 12k words of hualian crack smut. Oh well, inspiration is an odd thing. Thanks for sticking around :)
A few things:
- Things are def. going to get a bit worse before they'll get better. But fafa will soon meet XL!
- The timeline is ambiguous, meaning that some of the gods are in the heavens already while others aren't.
- Added the canon-typical violence tag.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hua Cheng was sitting at his desk deep in the lush and luxurious rooms of Paradise Manor, going through recent tales of the mortal realm. The parchment of the scrolls was brittle and scratchy in his hands as he skimmed through the text and the characters, trying to find any hints about the current whereabouts of Xie Lian, the fallen prince of Xianle.
It had been centuries since he had last seen his beloved; centuries spent in insurmountable agony, not knowing what had happened to Xie Lian after he had dispersed as Wuming, having absorbed the wrath of all those spirits. It had taken him time to create a new form, and ever since emerging from the fiery hellish pits of Mount Tonglu as a Supreme, he had been looking.
But all in vain.
Xie Lian, his precious omega god, seemed to have disappeared from the face of the Earth and no news came from the Heavens either. He would need to place a spy there, he thought, and not for the first time.
Hua Cheng stared at the meaningless scroll in front of him for a moment before carefully rolling it up, only to crush it in his fist, frustration making its ugly head known once more. He could wait—of course he could—but as moons, moontimes and half-eternities passed without any notice of Xie Lian, Hua Cheng found himself growing impatient.
Scared.
Like every cell of his after-life form was screaming in inexplicable torment.
He had used all these years to become stronger and gather an insurmountable amount of power in his hands. He had been reborn as the strongest Supreme, feared in all three realms and ardently worshipped in two. All this had but a single purpose: to protect Xie Lian. Obsession was carved into his very soul, into the empty bones of his ghastly body, flowing in his thin dead veins.
But now, when he finally had the means, it seemed that the earth itself had swallowed his prince.
Hua Cheng stared at the shredded mess of parchment that had been a scroll merely seconds before and closed his eye, taking a deep breath.
No matter how much time it would take, he would locate Xie Lian, bestow his ashes on him and offer himself on a golden platter for his god to use as he pleased. And yet, never in his wildest dreams and fantasies did he dare to dream of making Xie Lian his mate.
Because yes, even in death, Hua Cheng was very much an alpha.
He had presented as a teen during his time at the Xianle army, barely making through his first rut in the middle of the war, his head full of shameful and despicable thoughts of his prince. He had felt utterly humiliated by the filth inside him, even more so after seeing the purity of Xie Lian’s soul when faced with The Land of the Tender. And even when Xie Lian had almost become the White-Clothed Calamity, that part of him had always remained pure.
Hua Cheng had sworn never to yield to those hateful, selfish desires anymore. Inside Mt. Tonglu, he had poured out all his filthy obsessive passion into the murals, carved a statue out of them in the Cave of the Ten Thousand Gods. He would never tarnish his god with them again.
“Chengzhu.”
Yin Yu’s voice shook him out of his reverie and he blinked.
“Speak,” he answered, not bothering to face the cursed god that was now his best and most diligent servant. Hua Cheng was, by nature, mistrusting of others, but if there was someone he could be said to trust, it was Yin Yu.
Not with his existence, though. That honor was Xie Lian’s alone.
“A strange occurrence has been reported in the mountains somewhere nearby Puqi Village. Local passers-by screaming that they’d been soaked by crimson droplets of rain pouring from the sky.”
Hua Cheng slowly turned around to face Yin Yu, who was wearing his Waning Moon Officer mask as always. “Could you repeat?” he said carefully.
“Apparently crimson rain has been raining on some locals around Puqi Village,” Yin Yu rephrased.
Hua Cheng clenched his fists and sneered. “An impostor?”
“Could be,” replied his servant, shrugging his shoulders stiffly. “The rumors don’t say much, other than the obvious, Chengzhu.”
Huffing incredulously, Hua Cheng stared at Yin Yu’s unmoving form in front of him. “The audacity,” he finally spoke, voice heavy with contempt.
“With all due respect, Chengzhu, could this be the Green Ghost’s doing?”
Hua Cheng wanted to laugh, because the suggestion itself bordered on absurd. “That vulgar fucker wouldn’t know the earth from the heaven,” he barked. Then his face turned dark. “However, the incident needs to be investigated and properly dealt with. Yin Yu?”
“Yes, Chengzhu?”
“Go and investigate. Report back to me immediately.”
“En.” Yin Yu’s voice was quiet and unwavering, always full of respect. Hua Cheng couldn’t not respect his steely devotion.
“Go.”
He shook his head as Yin Yu took off, silent as a gust of wind in the morning mist.
All these centuries, yet this was the first time someone tried to imitate him. A dangerous smirk curled on his lips. He would show that poor soul exactly whom they were dealing with.
Xie Lian groaned as he slowly regained consciousness. He felt like he had been ran over by a mountain or two, every bone and joint and muscle in his body aching from the uncoordinated fall.
His hand flew to his lips and his eyes widened as he took on his surroundings.
He had jumped.
He was in the mortal realm.
He was… perched atop a tree canopy during late-autumn foliage.
Xie Lian blinked. What a curious thing.
He might have laughed if the fall hadn’t rattled him to his core and probably rearranged his intestines, leaving him wheezing and hurting. The spiritual powers he had borrowed from the fetus had definitely been not enough for his stunt. But Xie Lian had been so desperate, and maybe his anger had compensated for the lack of his own spiritual powers.
Slowly he turned his gaze upwards, making sure the sky was as it should be. He didn’t even know what he was expecting—a heavenly official of two chasing him, perhaps—but all he could see was a few scattered clouds, misty and pretty, and the sun, orange and already starting to set for the day.
A wave of elation hit him and, for a moment, he let himself think that he had truly managed to escape.
He then turned his gaze on the leafy bed he was currently resting on. There was blood splattered on the leaves, but not too much. The most had surely fallen elsewhere.
Finally touching his belly, Xie Lian was happy to find out that the wounds had closed already. Only the ache remained. He could sense the fetus inside him, alive and well, although robbed of its spiritual powers for the time being. Xie Lian knew it would regain them soon enough because a deity’s reservoir was never truly empty.
Unless they were cursed like Xie Lian, of course.
With a groan he rolled around on the thick bed of leaves that currently supported his weight. How should he make his way down without hurting his body too much? He frowned, peeking through the leaves and trying to calculate the potential trajectory his body would take upon the fall.
It was only then that he became aware of the gentle thrum of power on his forearm.
Ruoye.
Xie Lian released a surprised huff of pleased laughter. Finally, after all these centuries, he could use his spiritual device again! In the Heavenly Realm Xie Lian had been surrounded by so many wards that it was a wonder he could even walk.
Less alone fuck.
Anger flared inside him again, but he took a slow breath and focused his attention on the silk band Ruoye. His spiritual device, too, seemed to share the joyous sentiment, slithering and trembling on Xie Lian’s arm like a tiny dog wagging its tail from happiness.
“Ruoye,” Xie Lian whispered and closed his eyes, letting the feelings of reunion wash over him. When he opened them again, his gaze was steely and calculating. “Do you think you could get me down from here?”
Ruoye separated from his arm in an instant and wrapped one silky end around his body, stretching indefinitely to fit his body. The other end shot out to chop a man-sized hole into the curtain of brilliant red and yellow leafy branches, after which it flew sharply in the air and secured itself around a sturdy branch on another tree.
Xie Lian felt a tug around him and then he was falling down again.
This time, however, Ruoye kept him from hitting any trees, gently placing him down to stand on his own two feet. A wave of nausea hit him immediately and he threw up right there on the forest floor, watching the beautiful plants become covered with vomit. He took a few steps and promptly threw up again, heaving desperately afterwards.
His forehead was covered with sweat from the pure visceral feeling of being so nauseated, and his steps wobbled. He didn’t know if it was the fall, or just not being in the Heavens anymore, but Xie Lian quickly realized that he was feeling much worse than before his jump. As if the pregnancy hormones had truly caught up with him now, when the first symptoms should have been fading already.
A familiar surge of anger hit him again, this time mixed with humiliation and despair.
What was he going to do now that he could barely walk? Stay here and wait for someone—a Heavenly Official—to find him in his weakened state? Face whatever monsters the night would bring with only Ruoye by his side? Get up and just walk, walk, walk, until he couldn’t walk anymore, and try to find some shelter for himself first, and a village with its healer second.
He straightened his back and gritted his teeth, choosing the third option. He had been through much worse in the past and survived.
It wasn’t as if he could die.
Xie Lian didn’t know how long he walked. The continuous feeling of nausea and an occasional need to throw up whatever there was left in his stomach kept him from focusing on his path too much.
The sun had set and night was embracing him gently, the moon illuminating his lonely path like a divine astral lantern. Xie Lian really tried to pay attention to the changes in the scenery, trying to figure out where he was. But he had been in such a haste to jump that his head had gotten all confused with all the possible destinations, history and the present blurring together in a jumble of images, nonexistent locations and inane names.
He was so exhausted with the fetus feeding on him greedily while he was feeding on nothing, running absolutely on empty. So be it, he thought angrily. As for the pain—well, that was something he was in particular accustomed to. After all, all these centuries and his body was reduced to nothing but a vessel containing his complex experiences of pain.
But Xie Lian swore not to cry. He didn’t ascend by being a weeping idiot. He ascended because of his cultivation, his dedication, his skills with a sword and his single-minded mission to help the common people.
He could do single-minded. The purpose, this time, just was different.
After trudging on in the moonlight, every step hard and heavy, Xie Lian finally emerged from the forest. He blinked his eyes a few times, trying to see what was around him. Mountains, rice fields, narrow crisscrossing paths and—a hut.
He breathed out a surprised sigh.
There were no lights on the windows, and why would there be? It was past midnight already. Mortals should be sleeping because it was the time for ghosts to play.
Xie Lian wasted no time, starting to traipse towards the hut. His stomach growled and his intestines twisted and turned and, quite unexpectedly, he puked once more. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. But maybe destiny had finally something nice to gift him, because the closer to the hut he got, the more he realized that it seemed to have been abandoned long ago. The roof was certainly leaking, window bars cut, some of the wall boards missing even, but despite the overall sorry state of the hut, Xie Lian felt like he had found a temple.
Exhausted to the bone, he fell down the moment he got inside the ramshackle hut. He had no blankets, nothing on him to make his rest more comfortable, but even so he felt utterly humbled. His eyelids were already drooping, but somehow he managed to whisper a desperate pleas to his silk band Ruoye: “Guard me.”
Then he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, filled with pain, anxiety and the dread for tomorrow.
Puqi Village was like any other small mountainside village Xie Lian had seen. He hadn’t been in the mortal realm for centuries, but surprisingly little had changed in the ways people acted and spoke, the way they existed.
The hut Xie Lian had stayed in was located a manageable walk away from the village, surrounded indeed by lush rice paddies and mountains. There was little else there, but for some reason Xie Lian felt like he had felt his own personal piece of heaven.
Even though he was terribly hungry, he had no other option but to slowly make his way towards the village, asking for good people for directions as he passed them. He was direly aware of the sorry state of his clothing, a simple white robe now stained with blood and his cursed shackles visible for anyone to see.
When a man driving an ox cart asked whether the thing around Xie Lian’s neck was a new type of a scent blocker, Xie Lian laughed awkwardly.
No. It’s just for fun, Xie Lian had answered, feeling nauseous to the bone. For fun, indeed.
The truth was, the cursed shackle was as good as a scent blocker. Soon after his first banishment, Xie Lian had found out he no longer emitted any scent. It was easy for him to pass as an ordinary beta instead of an omega in ripe age, ready to be mated and bred. It was unbelievable, really, that his cursed shackle came with a blessing like that.
But after his second banishment and another shackle on his ankle, the shackles truly seemed to have been doubly cursed. “Xianle, you scentless whore of an omega. Who would ever want you as theirs? You have no one but me,” Jun Wu had often whispered to him in the throes of passion, mind blinded with rut pheromones. And Xie Lian had steeled his mind and his body and his heart, buried all humanity he had left somewhere deep inside and blanked out his mind to endure the torments of the Heavenly Palace.
And now he was here, at Puqi Village, pregnant and alone, feeling horrible and, truth be told, unsure of how, exactly, to go on about his business.
He asked around for a village healer and soon learnt the name: Gentle Healer with Warm Hands. Dizzy with hunger and fatigue, looking terribly worse for wear, Xie Lian was able to find her, a late middle-aged woman with thick black eyebrows, straight nose and a kind look on her face despite the shadow of her thick eyebrows.
“Young master, what can I do for you?” Gentle Healer with Warm Hands asked.
Xie Lian immediately liked her, deciding that there was really no reason to avoid addressing the reason behind his visit. “I’m with a child, but I need to have the pregnancy terminated.”
The healer looked at him with sharp eyes, apparently taking in his poor form and condition of his clothes, the blood that still lingered.
Suddenly Xie Lian shuddered. “Sorry, I’m… I need to, please wait.” And with those words he ran outside and threw up, although there was absolutely nothing in him to throw up anymore.
“Young master. Daozhang.”
He heard the gentle voice behind him, calling out to him, bringing him back from the gates of ever-lingering sickness.
“En?” he managed to utter, breathing heavily and gasping for air.
“You aren’t well. Have you eaten, Daozhang?”
“No.” Humiliation burned bright inside Xie Lian. He couldn’t even take care of himself—how was he ever supposed to be useful to his believers? Such a good thing he had none left.
“Come,” said the healer with a kind tone. “I have some leftover steamed buns from the morning. It’s not much but maybe you’ll give me the pleasure of having some.”
Xie Lian wanted to say no, wanted to resist, but ultimately ended up only nodding, feeling humbled. “Thank you. You are too kind.”
“Nonsense,” laughed Gentle Healer with Warm Hands, but the tone wasn’t mean nor insincere. “Come. Eat first, we speak then.”
Xie Lian nodded, his starved body shuddering. As an immortal he didn’t die of hunger, but he surely felt it like mortals did—a true inconvenience.
The bun that the healer gifted him was soft and juicy. Xie Lian could taste the meat on his tongue, the way liquid burst from the inside of the bun and dripped down his chin, caressing his taste buds as it made its way further down his throat. Despite all his years living as the Crown Prince of Xianle, as the Flower Crowned Martial God, this might have been the most delicious steamed bun Xie Lian had ever had.
“Now, daozhang, I would like to hear more about your problem,” said the healer after Xie Lian had had three steamed buns without vomiting once.
Xie Lian shook his head in confusion. Where should he start, even?
“I am with a child,” he croaked, feeling his face flare with shame. But the healer only nodded, encouraging Xie Lian to continue. “The baby is… not welcome.” For some reason he found it oddly difficult to admit, pointing at his cultivator-like robes vaguely.
There had been a time in his life during which he had thought that all life should be preserved, that all children were equal and innocent and should be protected, but maybe something inside him had finally shattered to the degree where he felt nothing when saying those words.
“I see,” said Gentle Healer with Warm Hands, and it didn’t really matter whether she was aware of Xie Lian’s inner turmoil or not. She didn’t seem to be judging. “How far along are you?”
Xie Lian hummed and clenched the remaining bun in his hands. “Somewhere just past the first one-thirds.”
The healer frowned and Xie Lian felt a shiver of cold run down his spine. Surely his request wasn’t… impossible?
“The fetus has already become a real baby, then,” said the healer with a thoughtful look on her voice. “As such, I cannot help you the way I could if you were earlier in pregnancy. Daozhang, I’m afraid we will need to take more drastic measures this time.”
Xie Lian smiled with a confused tilt of his lips. He didn’t really like where all this was going. “Drastic measures?” he asked.
“We need favorable circumstances for the ceremony.” Gentle Healer with Warm Hands then strolled to her small bookshelf and took out a wooden plate with tiny sticks pointing into different directions.
A moonclock, Xie Lian immediately realized.
The healer stared at it for a while, frowning, and then turned to look at Xie Lian again. “I see a suitable date carrying a great deal of luck a moontime from now.”
Xie Lian’s face twisted. “Hmm, it’s quite… long time in the future.” Desperation was seeping into his voice, he was unable to contain it anymore.
“Daozhang. Don’t worry. You’re a cultivator, everything will surely go fine. You just focus on reciting purification sutras and mantras of good childbirth.”
“Of course, of course,” Xie Lian consented, lowering his gaze. The realization that he had to wait another month growing that thing inside him was driving him insane with rage and loathing already. How was he supposed to wait for a moontime?
How was he going to hide for a moontime?
He smiled woodenly, jaws clenching. “You are very kind.”
Gentle Healer with Warm Hands smiled back at him. Suddenly an apologetic expression crossed her face. “Also, Daozhang, I’m sorry but we need to discuss the fee for the ceremony.”
Xie Lian’s blood froze. Fee? He didn’t have any money, nothing to pay the healer with. “Of course,” he said, still smiling.
The healer nodded and, for a moment, looked like she wanted to comfort Xie Lian more, but eventually just shrugged. “I’m sorry Daozhang, It is… I need to… make a living too. To support my old parents.”
“Of course, of course!” Xie Lian admonished the healer, feeling his insides turn ashen. “Parents must always be cared for. Don’t worry about me,” he mumbled, the statement stirring something unpleasant inside him.
Gentle Healer with Warm Hands then managed to say exactly how much the abortion ceremony would cost, leaving Xie Lian reeling.
What was he supposed to do? He had a moontime to collect that money, but no means to do that. “I, hmm. Uh, I understand. Thank you. I will be back in a moontime,” he said and got up to leave.
“Daozhang?” the healer called before Xie Lian was out of the door. “I have my mother’s old robe here. Won’t you take it? You look like you need it.”
Xie Lian’s shoulders sagged. He did. He looked as awful as he felt. “Thank you. I accept your gift with a grateful heart.”
The healer nodded and gave him the robes, after which Xie Lian left. He slowly walked back to his ramshackle hut, holding his clean robes tightly.
Just before he entered the hut, he was hit by a strong gust of wind, making his dirty robes flutter and his hair blow wildly. He turned his gaze upwards, staring at the moon for a while, before making his way inside and curling on the wooden floor to rest.
He was still smiling through clenched teeth.
“Chengzhu.”
Hua Cheng didn’t turn to look at Yin Yu, lazily watching the scantily-clad dancers in front of him with a half-full glass of wine in his hand. “Any news?”
“Yes, Chengzhu. It seems that an injured heavenly official fell from the sky, causing the bloody rain to fall.”
Hua Cheng snorted. “Those imbeciles. It never ceases to amaze me with a bunch of idiots they are. No class, no standards.” He took a sip of his wine and hummed, turning to gaze at Yin Yu. “Did you manage to catch a glimpse of the wretched thing?”
“Yes. A young male in a white robe, injured through the abdomen and covered in blood. Long, dark brown hair in a half-bun. Rather disheveled in appearance.”
Hua Cheng stilled. “Anything else?” he breathed, deceivingly calmly.
“Actually, yes. There was… something curious about him indeed.”
Hua Cheng just kept staring, his hands starting to tremble. “Yes?” It came out only as a whisper.
“He wore a cursed shackle around his neck.”
The wine glass shattered in Hua Cheng’s hand.
Notes:
Oh hi fafa! You need to help your omega😭
Kudos, comments etc. are always super adored (although never required).
I'll be busy working on a gift fic for the next 2-3 weeks. I'll try to get a chapter of this out as well, but cannot promise anything. Doing my best ☺️
Chapter 3
Notes:
Thank you for all the support for this fic! I'm super happy and also very very baffled! :) I'm glad so many of you are enjoying this.
I was supposed to be writing my gift exchange fic but instead I wrote this. Fail.
And oh, poor XL, hyperemesis isn't fun at all. Imbalance of spiritual energy and all that.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Xie Lian woke up the next day with a crick in his neck from sleeping in an uncomfortable position on the hard wooden floor. He was instantly hit with a bout of morning sickness which, in his case, was more like all day sickness. Who knew pregnancy was such a wretched thing to go through? He truly was the God of Misfortune, bringing nothing but bad luck upon himself in all its glorious forms.
He quickly glanced at the cursed shackle on his ankle and sighed. Hindsight was the best form of wisdom, he thought mournfully, face twisting as he moved his ankle, watching the shackle move with the skin like a spiteful tattoo with deep ill-intent. Just the sight of it was repulsive and he wanted nothing but to hide it from the world.
Why had he thought it a good idea to request it in the first place? Some form of atonement? After all these centuries he had spent in the Heavens as Jun Wu’s rut slut, it was difficult to tell anymore. But it certainly had brought nothing but bad luck to him.
Sighing, Xie Lian rolled to his side and got up. The urge to empty his stomach got stronger with the movement and he dashed out, barely making it in time to the tiny, narrow porch. The sickness hadn’t been this bad in the Heavens. Maybe it was indeed the jump that had shaken his insides to the point that they had become a puddle of hormonal liquids, an improper imbalance of spiritual energy that needed to be dragged out of the body by whatever means possible.
Snorting, Xie Lian straightened his back and took a look at the calm, blue sky. No one was chasing him yet and, for a brief moment, he seriously considered just getting a sword and cutting the fetus out himself. Pain was transcendental, pain was impermanent; nothing but a fleeting sensation in the overarching tragedy of what his life had become.
He would survive, as he had survived everything before.
It was only that this time it wasn’t wholly about himself. He knew that such a method of getting rid of the baby would backfire in an instant because the fetus—the baby, as Gentle Healer with Warm Hands had called it, making Xie Lian sneer—would surely become a vengeful spirit after receiving such hateful treatment. A grudge born one man could easily extend to whole society, and it was Xie Lian’s responsibility to make sure that wouldn’t happen.
He turned around and looked inside his hut again, dirty and ran-down. Now that he knew he’d have to stay here for a moontime, Xie Lian thought he should maybe clean the place a little bit to make it more habitable. Cozier, even. Maybe patch the roof and the walls, and get a blanket or two to use as a mattress. A cooking stove would be nice, although he didn’t really have any money for ingredients.
Well. He would think about it later.
It was going to be okay!
Glancing down at his own body, Xie Lian decided that he should probably start his cleaning operation by bathing. He was filthy, there was no other way of putting it. There was simply no way he could go to the village again while looking like this, especially with the aim of somehow collecting money for the ceremony.
Going in to grab his new robe, he stepped out again, momentarily blinded by the brightly shining sun of the late autumn. The ground was foggy with morning mist, giving the scenery an otherworldly feeling.
Xie Lian drew in a deep breath.
He could almost taste the freshness of the fog on his tongue, the coolness and cleanness of it wetting his lips, making them moist and plush. Was this the taste and feel of freedom? Xie Lian sighed and shook his head wistfully. Definitely not: He was efficiently shackled in more ways than one with the baby inside him leeching off his life energy. In addition, he wasn’t delusional enough to think that Jun Wu would let him escape just like that. Things might be looking up now, but it was only a matter of time when they’d come chasing.
Xie Lian desperately had to come up with a plan to hide, even after the pregnancy had been terminated. With all his cultivation principles wrecked to pieces and shattered to dust, his future was looking extraordinarily bleak and unforgiving, his dignity shredded to bits. And yet, there was absolutely no way he was going to go back to the Heavens.
After walking around the hut for a little while, Xie Lian found a small stream. With no one in sight, he stripped off his dirty robes and tentatively tried the water with his toe. It was freezing and he gave a yelp. But since he was out of options, he entered the water in one fluid motion until he was squatting, water coming up to the cursed shackle on his neck.
“Hnnh,” he screeched, because no matter how much he had tried psyching himself up, the water was simply fucking freezing!
Well. What the hell. Mentally counting to three, Xie Lian closed his eyes and quickly submerged his head, the icy shock sending a full-body jolt crashing through him, all the way from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. He re-emerged to the surface, scrubbing his body furiously with the sole purpose of getting out of the water as soon as possible with a clean body.
Just as he was about to be done with his uncomfortable bath, a thought hit him. He grabbed his old dirty robe and gave it a quick wash, rubbing it furiously in the water. The blood, of course, wouldn’t leave anymore, but at least he could have the rest of the fabric relatively clean and scentless.
He finally got out, dragging the wet, heavy robe with him, squeezing it afterwards to get the most of the water out. Nodding contently, still naked as the day he was born, he tore the old robe to shreds. Pouring all his rage into the movements, he shredded the piece of clothing made from the finest silks of the Heavens.
He didn’t need any more curious people asking him about new scent-blocking collars, so he would simply have to hide his shackles.
Xie Lian snorted. It was hilarious that people were so stupid to even think that his tattoo-like shackles were scent-blockers. He would be rich if he had such an item to sell. What a pity, Xie Lian thought a bit deliriously, that the design of his collar was highly exclusive: tailor-made, with love, just for him. Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the thought.
The truth was, he had forgotten his own scent already. There was nothing left of the innocent, bright-eyed omega prince of Xianle, not even a whiff of his scent. He was truly gone.
The thought made Xie Lian insurmountably sad.
After drying his body, he got dressed up in the robe he had gotten from Gentle Healer with Warm Hands. It was definitely for a woman, showing a little bit too much cleavage to be regarded as proper for a man and being a little bit tight around the shoulders and his biceps although Xie Lian was by no means bulky. But he had been a swordsman when he had ascended after all, and that was the body he was stuck with: slight and slender, distinctively omega, yet with strength and fine-toned muscles worthy of a martial god.
Well. Maybe because he was an omega he could actually pull off wearing the robe. Also, even though it was slightly unfitting and a tad bit too tight, it was definitely better than the dirty robe from the Heavens. Luckily he wasn't showing yet.
Finally he deemed himself ready. Wrapping a clean white strip of fabric around his neck and ankles, Xie Lian started making his way towards the village.
The roads crisscrossed among rice paddies and mountains, small farms and modest farmhouses. It was a picturesque scenery indeed, like Xie Lian had stepped inside a skillfully made lovely painting. He couldn’t stop admiring it even though he had already seen the view the day before.
Xie Lian greeted people as he passed them by, forcing a gentle smile on his face despite the heavy feeling in his gut. His robes swished against his bare legs and he realized he really needed proper long pants, too. The colorful tree leaves rustled in the wind gently, and Xie Lian could hear an animal howl somewhere in the distance. For some reason it made him smile and squint his eyes in amusement.
The uneven grovel path kept scrunching under his feet as he walked on, nodding and waving and pretending to be just a normal nobody on his way to nowhere in particular. His brain was busy, desperately trying to come up with ideas he could try to get money to properly pay for the ceremony.
He remembered the ill-fated days of busking with Mu Qing and Feng Xin after the downfall of Xianle. Shattering boulders on his chest and the like. Swallowing swords. Doing a lot of stupid shit, never earning enough.
Ultimately resorting to… other measures.
Even now just the memory of those times filled him with shame and sorrow so deep he wanted to sink down into the ground.
He idly wondered if those acts they had tried were something people these days would even want to see. He didn’t even have a sword to swallow anymore and instead of shattering boulders on his chest, he wondered if he could use a boulder to shatter the baby inside him.
What a ridiculous idea, he thought and promptly threw up all of a sudden. Probably a result of vengeful energy emanating from the baby, Xie Lian thought, heaving and sputtering pitifully.
“Young master! Are you well?” shouted a tanned farmer who was working on a field nearby and happened to witness the whole humiliating ordeal.
“Please, there’s nothing to worry!” replied Xie Lian and breathed heavily through the tears that burned in his eyes from the unbridled physicality of vomiting. His mind was running, trying to come up with good excuses for why he was throwing up, something that didn’t sound like he was seriously ill.
Unfortunately, he came up with nothing, so he decided to go for the truth. He would move out of the area in a moontime anyway.
Forcing a smile on his face, he waved. “I am with a child,” he announced, as if it was the best news in his life.
“Oh!” quipped the farmer and his eyes lit up. Based on his scent, he was a beta. “That is excellent news, young master Daozhang! It might be difficult now, but I’m sure it’ll get better in no time.”
“Yes, I’m sure it will,” agreed Xie Lian and continued smiling because indeed, in a moontime all would be well again.
“But tell me, Daozhang. Is there an alpha in the house?”
Xie Lian shook his head. “No, no alpha, dear farmer.” He cast his eyes downward, trying to sound like he was narrating the worst tragedy of his life. Being unmated with an illegitimate child on the way certainly wasn’t a situation where omegas wanted to end up in.
“Oh, you poor thing,” the farmer said, voice tinged with sympathy. Xie Lian shrugged awkwardly, and the farmer continued. “Daozhang, come here for a bit?”
“What is it?” Xie Lian stared at the farmer curiously but walked closer.
“You look like you could use some energy. Please, have these.”
Xie Lian didn’t have any time to even say ‘no’ before a small bag of dried fruit was placed on his hand together with a fresh loaf of rice bread.
“Oh, good master, you don’t need to…” he started, feeling a blush creep up his face.
“Nonsense, Daozhang! A pregnant body needs to be properly nourished. You just ask the wife, she would know,” he said and winked, sweat dripping off his forehead from the heavy farmwork. “Especially with a situation like yours… I’m sorry, Daozhang.”
“Thank you,” Xie Lian said simply and bowed his head humbly. “Thank you for this and for your hard work. I’m afraid I must be off now.”
“Alright. See you around? Please ask if you need anything.”
“Of course,” Xie Lian agreed, not meaning it at all. His legs were already taking him back to the road, his hands clutching the food he had just received like it was his lifeline.
Gratefulness bubbled in him, hot and heavy and bright, as he resumed walking towards the Puqi Village. Upon arriving, he found the village already bustling. Oxen were pulling carts in and out, accompanied by a steady flow of people. Although his belly was deliciously full of fruit and rice bread, Xie Lian still had no idea what to do to actually get money.
Standing in the middle of the busy village square, he let his gaze roam around the area.
How about… singing and dancing? Would that be something people would like to leave a few coins for? He had experience of singing to himself during all these centuries after all. In addition, he had been well-educated on traditional Xianle court dances as a part of his duties as the Crown Prince.
A genuine smile ghosted over his lips. Maybe he could try this!
But before he could make his idea reality, he felt sick again. He was barely able to make it away from the busy central square of the village before heaving heavily, and emptying the contents of his stomach next to a fine-looking house.
“What the fuck are you doing?” He heard someone yell from the window. “Can’t handle your alcohol? Get lost, you piece of filth!”
“Yes, yes, I’m sorry,” Xie Lian mumbled, humiliated, crawling away from where he had been hunching over himself.
Trying to locate his earlier good mood that had somewhat dampened by being treated like the worst piece of shit, Xie Lian managed to find a promising corner close to the village square that he decided was good enough a location. He meticulously placed the now empty bag of fruit in front of him for people to leave their coin before raising his gaze.
His heart was beating fast and he felt his nerves be alight with anxiety. He wasn’t used to limelight anymore, having been locked inside alone for centuries with nothing but his songs to keep him company.
But he had been singing after all, he had some practice. He could do this.
With a trembling voice he started, going for a silly, well-known song about a court omega’s adventures as a beta-in-disguise, a song he had learned at some point during his travels all those centuries ago. This was followed by a song about the beauty of spring, and another one about the moon.
People were gathering around him and nodding approvingly, but none had yet to give him any coin. Xie Lian nodded in tune with the song; he would just need to try harder!
But then he made a mistake.
Picking a traditional Xianle song about the reunion of two lovers, the melody and the lyrics flowed from his lips, achingly beautiful. Indeed, even more people stopped to listen to him sing about his lost homeland, but before anyone could leave any coin, tears welled up in his eyes as he thought of everything that had happened after Xianle had fallen; the war, the pain, the banishments.
The loss of his friends and his parents.
The loss of the last of his believer.
He choked at the thought, lips stilling. For some reason in image of Wuming flashed on his mind. Wuming, absolute in his devotion but who had only known his cruelty, lived through the darkest days of Xie Lian's life. The only person in the world who had witnessed the full madness of Xianle’s fallen god and still stayed by his side.
Xie Lian wasn’t worthy of a sacrifice like that.
Tears started to stream down his cheeks and he was utterly unable to continue, only gasping for air brokenly.
“What is this nonsense?” asked the people around him, looking at him and frowning. “We’re here for a good time.”
“Yeah. What a silly Daozhang, crying as he sings. He should be making us merry!”
“Laughable. Not worth a coin.”
“A beautiful voice but who would want to listen to such sorrows of the heart? I don’t need any of this gloominess, let’s go.”
Xie Lian looked tiredly as the people scattered, leaving him alone and without any coin. He angrily wiped his tears on the sleeve of his robe, willing them to stop flowing so freely and making a mess of everything. Laughable indeed! What a fucking idiot he was.
But he needed the money. He wouldn’t give up, no matter how much people laughed at him and ridiculed him, no matter how much his heart ached from being humiliated, over and over again.
Xie Lian took a long, shuddering breath and calmed down his nerves. Maybe he could try dancing next, he thought hopefully after a few breaths, flexing his ankles and wrists as if to test if they’d be willing to cooperate with him today. But as he put his feet through the motions of an ancient sensual court dance, he found no joy inside him to support the rhythm. His feet were heavy and clumsy, and his heart refused to cooperate.
Disappointment and resentment weighing heavily in his belly, Xie Lian took the bag of fruit that remained empty and stored it inside his sleeve. He strolled across the village square, only to bump into someone—a Wealthy Merchant, by the looks of his clothing.
“Watch it out!” snapped the Wealthy Merchant.
“I apologize,” Xie Lian muttered and bowed his head.
The Wealthy Merchant only grumbled something under his breath and moved away. Xie Lian was able to pick up some words about a pile of useless scrolls somewhere in the back alley. And just like that, his face lightened up because an idea started to form in his head.
Maybe there was something to be made out of scraps that he could sell!
Hua Cheng looked into the mirror, evaluating his chosen skin to enter the mortal realm. His face melted into an unhappy scowl and he snapped his fingers, changing his appearance.
Another look and another frown. A snap of fingers and another skin.
He hadn’t even kept track how many skins he had already gone through, finding something wrong with each and every one of his creations. Maybe the eyes were the wrong color or shape, the nose too long, or the built somehow off. Too skinny, too bulky, too everything, too little something else.
There simply wasn’t a skin that was worthy enough to meet his god in.
Snap. Snap. Snap. His fingers moved quickly, creating a steady rhythm as the face in the mirror changed together with the clothes.
Black robes, no. White-gold robes, no. Green-hued robes, no.
Fuck. Everything was a no-go.
Hua Cheng sneered at the mirror and snap! He lost control momentarily. Suddenly it was the face of Wuming who was staring at him from the mirror with two mismatched eyes, one black, one flaming red, his true appearance before the trials of Mt. Tonglu.
It took all of Hua Cheng’s self-restraint not to break the mirror at once, his mind screaming but one word.
Ugly.
A vicious snap of fingers sent Wuming’s image away, and for a moment Hua Cheng thought he might have finally gone insane.
But that wouldn't do. Xie Lian was waiting. He needed to focus to make this right.
Closing his eye and gazing inwards, Hua Cheng drew from the well of bottomless spiritual powers within him, channeling the energy at himself. He breathed in, then out, and snapped his fingers, feeling his body, the husk for his soul that it was, morph once more. And, before he had even opened his eye, he already felt at ease in this skin.
It took him a moment to find the courage to see what he had created regardless.
A youth—alpha—of maybe twenty years of age, tall and slender and handsome, was staring at him with a smile on his perfectly symmetrical face. Hua Cheng moved his body, and the skin-reflection moved as well, fluid and graceful. In fact, the skin looked like he could have been Hua Cheng’s cousin or a brother from another omega maybe, his features alike yet different enough. His clothes were fine and of the highest quality, a combination of white and Hua Cheng’s own personal favorite, crimson red.
But most importantly, the skin had two beautiful dark brown-red eyes that twinkled alluringly. On his waist, the deadly scimitar Eming started wailing and shaking, as if overcome by emotion upon seeing those pretty eyes, but Hua Cheng just smacked it in a bout of fury. It was unnerving to see himself with two healthy eyes, he needed no further reminders about how he really looked like.
Almost choking on the depths of self-hate that bloomed in his chest, he dragged his attention away from his eyes, deciding to evaluate the rest of the skin instead. Upon a closer inspection, the skin was nothing but immaculate from the palms of his hands to the nails and the hair. No one would be able to tell it was just that—a skin, a disguise, a cover. There was nothing out of ordinary about this person, absolutely nothing that would reveal that this was a shell incorporating the soul and spirit of the most fearsome Ghost King in all realms.
Especially feared and hated by everyone in the Heavens, Hua Cheng thought rather cheerfully, finally satisfied with his appearance. After Yin Yu’s announcement, he was feeling electrified in ways that he hadn’t in centuries. His body was thrumming with such deep desire to see beloved that he had hard time even containing it. That want, that desire pulsated in him, making him dizzy with the knowledge that Xie Lian was here.
This skin was but a means to the end, a way for him to get closer to Xie Lian without making his beloved suspicious, and yet he had already wasted minutes on choosing the right one! A feral alpha growl left his lips. Who knew what could happen in minutes in the mortal realm—Hua Cheng had witnessed how swiftly a sword could pierce one’s stomach, after all, and it took mere seconds.
Minutes meant potentially many swords and consequently, many many wounds.
He shuddered, a jumble of grotesque, vivid images of flesh torn apart suddenly popping into his mind, completely unasked for and devious in nature. He would never let that happen to Xie Lian again.
He finally turned away from the mirror and straightened his clothes with stilted movements. He had no idea where Xie Lian had been these past centuries, but it didn’t matter. Hua Cheng had been so patient, waited and waited and waited, hopelessly, endlessly, silently preparing for the third coming of his god.
And now he was here. Fallen from the sky and possibly hurt.
Hurt.
Hua Cheng’s stomach lurched at the thought, unease assaulting all his senses and almost driving him mad with worry. He would burn the world to ash and dust if someone had intentionally hurt Xie Lian. A mortal, a god, a ghost, a yao—it mattered not. They would feel his wrath.
Nodding to himself in this fresh, youthful skin, Hua Cheng forced Eming to hide inside the camouflage. Then he fished out his lucky dices from his pocket and smiled, sharp alpha fangs flashing in the low lighting of the Paradise Manor.
He threw the dices in the air and whispered two words. Two sixes later he was at the outskirts of Puqi Village.
Notes:
Next chappy: HC finds out the ugly truth, uh oh.
Someone also asked if I was going to de-anon at some point. Yeah! A bit later into the story :) I have all my fics here . There's some hualian, some omegaverse, something other altogether. I'm also on socmed: @sodapopblitz (X/bsky). Come say hi if you want! :)
Chapter 4
Notes:
And they meet.
Do you remember when I said that this fic will probably be 8 to 10 chaps? Because this is chapter 4 already, I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Xie Lian hummed contently as he made way back to his hut. He had a large bag of discarded scrolls on his back and a clear idea about what to do with them.
For once. He congratulated himself for actually coming up with a proper plan.
Walking on rather cheerfully for once, Xie Lian let himself enjoy the afternoon sun that painted the scenery around him in pretty hues of orange and pink, creating an autumnal canvas of light for him to admire.
In the Heavens, the sun was always shining. There were no real clouds, no real sunsets nor nights. The change of the seasons and tides was always artificial, spellcraft to remind the gods that the seasons were incessantly changing in the mortal realm. Since many gods never descended at all, that simulated change between day and night was the only thing that grounded them to the fact that time was passing for their believers.
Xie Lian hummed a happy tune. Maybe it was because of all those centuries spent in that artificial sunshine, but the real sun felt so very nice on his skin. For a moment he thought that nothing, absolutely nothing, could ruin his good mood—
—until he once more felt the need to throw up.
Xie Lian fell to the ground, retching heavily. Closing his eyes, he heaved and heaved, over and over again, sobs and shudders wrecking his body as he knelt in dirt and dust. The position was all too familiar to him already, because how could he forget?
The image of the kneeling statues of the former Crown Prince of Xianle, humiliated, hated and ridiculed beyond comprehension was burned in his memory like a painful curse.
Holding on to his bag of useless scrolls tightly, he just knelt there, not able to get up. Slowly he felt steady enough to change position, tentatively rolling over to sit on the ground instead. He pulled his knees to his chest, his earlier good mood shattered to tiny dark particles. He tasted bile in his mouth, and yet his stomach was hungry again. Truly the most vicious of combinations.
Xie Lian’s thoughts started to wander as he sat there, clutching his silly keepsakes. A god of trash, he thought, a slightly hysterical giggle erupting from his lips and eyes widening at the sound. Was he finally going insane?
He lifted his gaze and was satisfied to find that no one had witnessed his weak moment. Sitting there for a moment longer, Xie Lian went over the happenings of the day: The singing. The dancing. The feeling of heaviness in his heart and tears on his face, the trembling of his voice as he tried to force out melodies that were long forgotten.
Hate bubbled in him, bright and unbridled, targeted at the Heavens and its Emperor. At himself for letting all this happen. Because was it not him who had almost destroyed the world twice over? Was it not him who had begged the Emperor to curse him some more? Had it not been a plea for Jun Wu to show him his place?
Oh.
Jun Wu had definitely shown him his place: a royal omega whore, fallen from the grace, good for nothing except to be fucked mercilessly during the Emperor’s long, disgusting ruts. Tossed away afterwards like a common whore, left alone to atone endlessly without any power to escape.
Maybe the fetus had been a blessing in disguise, lending him all those spiritual powers.
Tears of rage and humiliation brimmed in Xie Lian’s eyes as he sat there alone, desperately trying to figure out what to do next and how to make things right. He hadn’t earned one coin today, and the thought made him depressed.
Flashes of images crossed his mind: of himself, of Mu Qing and Feng Xin, busking and trying to make the ends meet after the horrors of the war. He couldn’t remember everything, his mind fuzzy around the edges, but he was quite sure there hadn’t been a day when they hadn’t been able to get any coin.
Unlike Xie Lian, who hadn’t gotten a single coin. He truly was a failure.
Xie Lian sniffled, the wetness on his cheeks slowly drying away, leaving only salty traces behind. Getting up, he looked at his robes. They were dusty, but nothing a bit of a wash wouldn’t clean. Luckily he hadn’t gotten any vomit on them—a thought that made him chuckle mirthlessly. It was a wonder no one had pointed out that he was clearly wearing a women’s robe, but maybe he was too obvious an omega for people to even comment on that.
He was just ready to start walking again when a flash of something caught his eye.
A butterfly!
And not just any kind of a butterfly, but a beautiful, captivating silver butterfly that came fluttering around him, touching his nose gently and twirling playfully in the air as if to give him a show. Xie Lian’s eyes widened in wonderment as he looked at the butterfly that was dancing in the air and dragging him back from the brink of desperation.
He reached out with one hand, and the butterfly fluttered closer, finally settling down on his forefinger, tickling the skin lightly.
“Hi there, pretty thing,” Xie Lian said and smiled tiredly. “Where did you come from?”
The butterfly fluttered its wings vigorously at the praise, making Xie Lian chuckle fondly. “Hmm! I thought that …” he trailed off and frowned, “I thought all butterflies were gone already ahead of winter. Yet, here you are.”
The butterfly seemed to perk up at the words, fluttering its wing as if it was preening. Xie Lian smiled wistfully. “Thank you, sweet butterfly, for coming to greet me. You’ve made me happy,” he said hesitantly, not really looking at the small insect. “I’ve had a rough few days… Uh. Why am I telling you this?” He huffed an incredulous laugh.
The butterfly twirled in a frenzy like it was worried, and Xie Lian wanted to pat it like it was an agitated child. “Ah, don’t worry. Nothing major!”
Nothing major indeed, except falling from the heavens and trying to terminate his pregnancy, getting rid of the Heavenly Emperor’s child in the process. Nice and easy. Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but in the end, this particular matter only concerned him and his body. No kingdoms were at stake this time so maybe, truly, it wasn’t anything major.
“I’ll manage—I always do.” The final words were nothing but a whisper. He gave the pretty butterfly a sad, lopsided smile. “Thank you for visiting me. Giving me courage.”
The butterfly took off from his finger and after touching his nose lightly with his glimmering, feather-like wings, flew away.
Xie Lian sighed, but found himself newly revitalized. Hoisting his bag of scrolls over his shoulder, he started traipsing towards his hut with newly-found bounce in his steps, even forgetting the grumbling of his stomach.
The next day Xie Lian returned to Puqi. The trip was long, as it had been the day before, but he refused to complain. He had a roof over his head, although leaking, but it hadn’t been raining so it was okay! He had clothes, although ill-fitting, and goods to sell, although he couldn’t say if they would pique anyone’s interest. He didn’t have food, but had found some berries in the nearby forest and eaten until his lips and tongue were as violet as his fingers. Luckily he had managed to wash everything off, or his sales for the day would have surely been devastating.
So, overall, Xie Lian thought things were looking up!
He strolled around the village, surrounded by the scents of the villagers—alphas and omegas alike, betas not so much— and looked for a good spot for the day. Finally he found a corner that was to his liking. It was close enough to the central village square, but still in the shade to alleviate his nausea.
Xie Lian laid out a white sheet of shining fabric on the ground and placed his goods on display. He giggled, a slightly maniacal edge to it, because the fabric was actually the clean parts of his heavenly robes. He promptly repressed the urge to spit on it and to stomp on it, ruin it with his boots until it was dirty and ugly.
As for the goods, Xie Lian had spent the evening meticulously folding beautiful flowers of all shapes and sizes from the scrap scrolls, going into great lengths to make the pieces of paper uniform in size and his flowers beautiful and shapely and sharply crafted. Remembering how things had ended up yesterday, he felt a spike of panic bubbling inside him.
But he had been through worse. Much worse. Inhaling deeply, he prepared his heart and bellowed brightly, “Paper flowers! Sustainable and beautiful! Come take a look!”
He used his best skills to make his voice melodious and enticing, waving his fingers and beckoning people to come closer and take a look at his offering. Some gave him curious glances, and Xie Lian kept smiling encouragingly, talking and creating catchy phrases from nothing:
“How about an eternal bouquet for a loved one!”
“Something to decorate the meal tray at home with!”
“A charm for prosperous business!”
“A gift for a beloved omega!”
“A bouquet as a presenting gift!”
Xie Lian felt downright giddy when some people actually stopped by and took a closer look, admiring his handiwork. He had really done his best, drawing from his memories of pastimes in the Xianle castle when he had still been a child. He had made bell flowers, 8-petal flowers, daylilies, lotus flowers and even stems and leaves to sell separately for the lily designs. He had even dyed the paper with the lilac from the berries—after seeing the coloring of his hands—and green with grass. They weren’t as pretty as they could have been but they weren’t all plain white either.
“Daozhang,” asked one villager, a tall, burly man with dark features and a toothless grin, “how much for the flowers?”
Xie Lian had been so ecstatic that he was treated with kindness today that he had forgotten to think about a price! How very silly of him. He tried to rake his brain for any recollection of what they had made when they had been busking, of how much people had given them for a successful performance, but came up with nothing.
In the end, it had been mostly Feng Xin, anyway. He stopped that train of thought at once.
“Are they for a wife?” Xie Lian asked in return, trying to evaluate the direness of the man’s request. Maybe, he had had a fight with his omega, for the man was clearly an alpha, and needed something to gift his beloved.
“Maybe,” the man grinned. “How much?”
Xie Lian smiled vaguely, eyes crinkling with confusion. He really couldn’t come up with any sensible price, and his insides were starting to twist and turn uncomfortably. “Please, master, the price is by conscience. Whatever you feel like paying, I will gladly accept.”
The man grinned wolfishly. “And what if I deem them worthy of nothing?”
“Um,” Xie Lian started, not knowing how to react. Of course he should say that the flowers weren’t there for free, but if the man had a good cause, a beloved to conciliate maybe…
“Why don’t you bugger off and stop harassing our good Daozhang here?”
A tremor ran through Xie Lian’s body at the sound of that deep, alluring voice that had materialized from nowhere to… protect him?
He blinked. Who would even care anything about him or his honor in this wretched world? He quickly dragged his mind from the pits of self-hate back to reality.
The burly alpha was frowning, annoyed that his bullying had been called out. “Me?” he tried to fake innocence, lifting his eyebrows to make his eyes look bigger. “I was merely negotiating a suitable price with this little master here.”
“You were trying to fool him. Scram, before I lose my temper.”
Xie Lian turned to see the person to whom this deep, melodious and beautiful voice belonged. His heart leapt in his chest upon finding a fine-looking young man in fancy crimson red robes standing nearby. His beautiful dark eyes were mischievous and warm as they gazed at Xie Lian, drinking in the somewhat disheveled sight. He was tall and slender, his long black hair twisted into a crooked ponytail that swayed as he moved his head.
“And who are you, telling me to get lost?” asked the large alpha, shaking one fist at the handsome youth.
“Hmph,” grinned the young man in red, something unhinged in his expression as he stared at the large bully. “Why don’t you come and find out?”
“Please, please, uhm, calm down,” Xie Lian said and smiled confusedly, waving his hands at the curious crowd that was gathering around them, trying to tell them with gestures that there was absolutely nothing to see here.
But the alpha’s scent had soured and Xie Lian just couldn’t hold it. He felt the urgent need to throw up and, that very moment, hated his body and the creature inside passionately. Betraying him at every fucking step on the way.
“Excuse me, honorable alphas,” he mumbled and scrambled away to throw up behind the corner of a house, leaving the two alphas to their bickering. As he threw up, he kept thinking about his paper flowers and all the hard work that had gone into making them. If something happened to them now, just how sad he would be.
After emptying the contents of his stomach Xie Lian dragged his body to his selling spot, mouth falling to form a small ‘o’ upon seeing that there was no one there—except the handsome ponytailed youth in his maple red robes, waiting for him with an expectant look on his face. He inhaled and his nostrils flared. An alpha. And not only that; there was something about his scent that made the hairs in the back of Xie Lian’s neck stand up, but not from fear, no. Rather, it was like his olfactory memory was trying to figure out where he had smelled a similar scent before, a memory that kept dancing at the edges of his consciousness, yet just out of his reach.
Flowers and a hint of exotic spice.
Where had he smelled this scent before?
He didn’t quite know what to do with all his racing thoughts, so he just kept smiling, also starting to feel a bit ashamed of his own scentless state, although it had never bothered him before.
“Daozhang has an exquisite collection of paper flowers here,” the young alpha said and cast him a smile, warm and mischievous, just like the one before. Gone was the feral expression of barely-contained fury on his face.
“Yes,” Xie Lian acquiesced, nodding. “I made them myself. From… scraps.” He blushed upon the admission, not knowing why he even felt the need to confess that particular detail. As if all this wasn’t bad enough already.
“What a fine skill,” praised the youth, “to bless other people’s waste and morph it into things of beauty.”
Xie Lian wasn’t sure if he imagined the emphasis on the word ‘bless’, a direct reference to all things godly and hence to his roots, but quickly admonished himself for even thinking that. All these centuries and still he kept seeing these innuendos everywhere? Looking for clues of his lost divinity? He should be brought down a peg, he thought mournfully, because it seemed that what he had already endured hadn’t been a punishment enough.
“Daozhang?” The youth looked at him questioningly and with a tinge of worry in his dark eyes.
Xie Lian gave him a brilliant smile. “It’s nothing. Young master needs not bother his head with it.”
The young alpha looked doubtful, but let it pass, focusing his attention on the paper flowers instead. “Gege is selling these?”
Xie Lian nodded dumbly. Gege? He immediately remembered to smile. Maybe the youth was a potential customer after all!
“Yes,” he said and offered another smile, trying to look more carefree that he had felt in centuries. Like desperation wasn’t gnawing at his gut and telling him to make sure the handsome youth would buy something. “Would young master be interested in purchasing a flower? Is there a wife at home?”
The youth in red grinned suddenly. “No. But, to think of it, there is a special someone.” His expression grew willful and oddly tender, yet etched with a hint of sorrow. “My beloved is a brave, noble and gracious omega who saved my life. I’ve been looking for them a long time, I haven’t won them over yet.” His voice grew hushed as he spoke, belying the weight of the words.
Suddenly he grinned again. “What am I saying? Gege, I must be mad.”
Xie Lian laughed and proceeded to take one paper flower—a lotus, the symbol of purity—and offered it to the alpha. “Maybe you can win your special someone over with the help of flowers, no?”
The youth’s eyes glinted with merriment. “Indeed. Gege is so wise. I will buy them all.”
Xie Lian’s eyes widened. “All? But…”
“Nothing less will please my beloved. They are exquisite,” noted the young man, still smiling. “Gege is truly the most talented.”
Xie Lian gave a startled laugh. “What’s with all the ‘geges’ all of a sudden?”
The young man shrugged. “Gege failed to properly introduce himself.”
Ah. Of course. But why? He was just a worthless street seller, whereas the young man looked like a noble himself. What did his name matter to anyone in this world?
“It’s Xie…” Xie Lian swallowed, words drying up in his throat.
He wondered if he should give this man his real name or not. Xianle was a kingdom long-forgotten, but now, running from Jun Wu and the rest of the Heavenly Officials, Xie Lian didn’t feel comfortable sharing his name and revealing his identity, no matter how much of a relic he was. Rumors spread like the evil roots of a demon tree if cultivated properly. “Hua Xie. Last name Hua, first name Xie.”
“Hua? Oh, really?” The young man’s smile widened and he looked devilishly gleeful for a fleeting moment. “Although ‘Hua’ is a fitting name for a flower-seller, I think I will stick with ‘gege’. If gege doesn’t mind.”
Xie Lian shrugged and shook his head. He could be gege. He could be daozhang. He could be just a random, nameless omega. He could be all those things as long as they kept him hidden in the shadows and away from curious eyes. “And you, young master? What should I call you?”
“San Lang,” smiled the youth. “I’m the third son in the family.”
“Oh. Well, nice to meet you San Lang,” Xie Lian smiled, and suddenly felt a lot lighter. He had just sold all his flowers—maybe, just maybe, this could work, after all. “And thank you so much for… all this.”
San Lang’s smile was brilliant, shining like a thousand suns. “It’s all my pleasure, gege. Oh, and by the way?”
“Yes?”
“This is for you.”
Xie Lian watched with wide eyes as San Lang miraculously manifested a steaming hot bun seemingly out of thin air and gave it to him.
After having sold what he had for the day and eating the lovely, delicious steaming bun, Xie Lian bid San Lang goodbye and walked back to his little hut with the intention of making more paper flowers for the next day.
Or should he come up with something different? After all, San Lang had been the only person who had actually given him coin for the flowers. He frowned, not knowing what to do, but ultimately decided to go for the flowers once more, just to see if his good luck would carry on to the next day.
Dragging the remaining paper scraps to the tiny porch, Xie Lian made himself comfortable and got to work, ignoring his rumbling stomach. One bun a day was nowhere near enough for him these days.
Hours passed, and he only had to throw up twice, although he was feeling fatigued and weak. After folding another batch of paper flowers and coloring some of them with whatever natural paints he had left, Xie Lian got up and rolled his shoulders. It was getting dark already, the sky turning black in the aftermath of the sunset.
His gaze was filled with fear when he turned it to the sky, trying to see past it and all the way up to the Heavens, heart beating erratically.
He hoped no one would find him. He hoped he’d have enough time. He hoped for so many things, a miracle maybe, but when had life ever given him what he had hoped for, other than the cursed shackles?
A lonely tear fell to his cheek as he went inside his hut to get some rest, still hoping.
Notes:
Ok ok, I know I said that HC will find out the truth but... they have a mind of their own. More Huahua in the next chapter FOR SURE. And the ugly truth revelation. Oh btw, do you think Hua Cheng just let Xie Lian walk back to his hut all by himself? Absolutely not. He just doesn't want to become an official XL botherer like... immediately. Stalking and butterfly surveillance are much better options! :P
Thank you so much for reading and engaging! It keeps the motivation high and means a lot <3 My socmed (x/bsky)
I also posted this angst/fluff/smut tiny oneshot for Hua Cheng's birthday: He's a terminally ill Lianlian dollmaker who's living his last days in the mortal realm. Too bad the real Lianlian has other ideas.
Chapter 5
Notes:
Hi again! Finally finished the gift fic so here we are again 🫠
I'm completely floored by all the positive feedback I’ve gotten to this story. You have no idea how much it means, thank you so so much! <3
Just a small note regarding the timeline in this chap just not to cause confusion.
HC POV is during XL's first day busking at Puqi --> Then there is nothing about the day they met (last chapter) --> XL POV starts the day after they've met. In other words, where HC POV ends is actually a day before from where the XL POV starts.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
When Hua Cheng arrived at the Puqi Village, he had no idea how to locate Xie Lian.
To wait at the village seemed like a feasible option, because even if Xie Lian was staying elsewhere, there was nowhere else where he would’ve gotten supplies, food or information—depending on what he was looking for.
And thus, Hua Cheng lounged around the village, keeping his eyes and ears open, desperately trying to get his hands on even a tiny tidbit of information regarding his god. Yet, he heard nothing. As incense stick of time became another, then another, Hua Cheng started to become anxious. Smells of alphas and omegas trickled down his nose, making him scrunch it disdainfully.
Where was Xie Lian? Should he abandon his plan to wait and start looking for him from the fields surrounding the village instead? Maybe send out an invisible army of wraith butterflies to scout for his location?
Unease churned inside him as he pondered on his few options, each worse that the other. His mind started to wander to dangerous territories, to feelings and emotions he had kept locked for centuries.
Fear. Terror. Unfathomable worry. Affection.
Throughout his life, his only aim had been to become strong enough to be able to protect Xie Lian from anything and anyone that would try to hurt him. It seemed that he had already failed, Yin Yu’s words ringing in his ears repeatedly.
Hurt through the abdomen.
Hua Cheng felt himself grow restless with anxiety. The vile feeling flowed all around his body, gnawing at his stomach and making his insides twist and turn. He had yet to parse together what had happened, but considering Xie Lian’s ridiculous history with stomach injuries, Hua Cheng wasn’t ready to take any chances.
He closed his eyes and tried to calm down his restless mind. He was a Supreme Ghost King and Supreme Ghost Kings didn’t panic. Or that’s what he kept telling himself, waiting and waiting and waiting, going mad with it until—
He was here.
To see Xie Lian for the first time in centuries felt like being stabbed through the heart with a stake so thick it would surely shatter his heart to tiny ragged pieces. All the memories of Xie Lian that he had suddenly surfaced, threatening to drive him insane with the cacophony of it.
And now… Xie Lian was as ethereal as always. Beautiful, powerful. Time had done to reign that. Hua Cheng breathed a sigh of wonder. But there was something else, too. The bandage around his neck that filled Hua Cheng with desparation. The clothes that were clearly for… female omegas? Also, the paleness of his skin and the lonely look in his eyes; it took him all his self-restraint not to strut to Xie Lian immediately and introduce himself with a cover story he hadn’t really even thought about yet.
But of course he wouldn’t do that. First, he needed to figure out the circumstances surrounding Xie Lian’s return. Why was he here? Was he being followed or chased? Did someone threaten him?
He had fallen from the sky, after all.
Even though his brain screamed at him to do something, anything, Hua Cheng decided to stay put and focus on observing the situation. However, just a few incense sticks of time in this realm and he was already boiling with rage at how Xie Lian—a god!—was treated: yelled at, cursed at, treated badly and ridiculed.
It was… unforgivable.
Xie Lian obviously tried to collect money, and Hua Cheng’s heart ached when he sang all those songs of the past with that disturbingly hollow look etched on his face. His body trembled when Xie Lian tried to dance, only to give up almost immediately, looking sad beyond belief. And when Xie Lian finally crouched to grab the empty bag with zero coin inside, the look on his face made Hua Cheng want to walk to him, pull him to his arms and comfort him, even though he had sworn never to touch His Highness like that.
As for the rest of the ignorant villagers, it took every bit of his self-restraint not to just snap his fingers and kill them on spot.
His thoughts strayed when Xie Lian got up with a tight smile on his face. After being yelled at once more, Hua Cheng watched a raw flame of hope light in his eyes as he wandered off to the other side of the village, only to return shortly afterwards with a large bag hoisted on his shoulder. With a heavy sigh, Xie Lian turned his back on the villagers and left, carrying his random goods.
Hua Cheng followed, of course. There was no way he would let his beloved wander off now that he had finally found him.
Chest burning with anger and contempt at what he had witnessed—how dare they treat a god like that?—Hua Cheng trailed Xie Lian silently as the omega slowly trudged on. However, the more he saw, the more concerned he grew, anger quickly replaced with worry. Xie Lian was clearly sick, looking pale and out of breath, even throwing up every once in a while.
Hua Cheng almost couldn’t bear it when Xie Lian finally just ended up sitting on that dirty road, hugging his knees and looking hopeless. Taking a shuddering breath, he made a sign with his fingers, and one single silvery wrath butterfly emerged from the thin air. He whispered instructions to it with a quiet voice, and looked as the butterfly fluttered to Xie Lian.
A soft smile spread to his face for a brief moment as he watched Xie Lian talk to the butterfly, his beloved’s voice ringing in his ears through the spiritual carrier as if he was standing right next to him. It was pure bliss and Hua Cheng found himself trembling.
But the joy didn’t last.
Finally Xie Lian got up and started walking again, only to later arrive at a small, decrepit, tumbledown hut. Hua Cheng blinked, and an uneasy feeling spread across his body.
Surely Xie Lian wasn’t staying there?
The hut looked like it might collapse any given moment—no way a place for a god to spend his nights! But when it dawned on him that the hut was, indeed, where his precious god was staying, Hua Cheng was horrified. It was the bitter cherry on top of the mess he had witnessed today: Xie Lian, alone and without coin, sick and with no proper place to stay, ridiculed and trampled again and again, yet always stubbornly raising from the dust and dirt with that stubborn smile on his face.
He could only guess what feelings were hidden behind that smile.
Bathing in a fresh sense of despair, Hua Cheng kept watch over the small hut, all night long. He would make his move the next day, there was no time to waste.
He simply couldn’t bear another day of staying away.
Xie Lian woke up in the morning, feeling queasy. He got up carefully, trying to calm down his senses that urged him to get out and throw up. For some mysterious reason, it seemed to work. He didn’t feel good, but he felt he didn’t need to acutely puke, either.
Maybe all this was actually going away.
He cast his eyes downward, staring at his stomach. These past few evenings, he had felt bloated and unbearably ugly. His belly had started to protrude slightly, especially visible in the evenings.
He knew, of course, that the thing inside him wasn’t too big yet, because he could sense its growth and development from the development of its spiritual powers, stored in the placenta. Consequently, much of the bloating must still be something else.
Gas? Hormones? Pent-up rage? Xie Lian let out a slightly troubled giggle. The last one sounded like the most feasible option.
For just a fleeting moment he let all the rage boiling inside him consume him alive, course through his veins, flash in his eyes, make him nothing but an endless pool of fury. The feeling was as foreign as it was heavenly, and he shuddered from the very visceral feeling of his beautiful, magnificent fury.
After all, he had nothing left in the world except for his rage.
Slowly he gathered his wits. He might have nothing left of his cultivation, every single wow broken and his spiritual powers lost forever, but at least he hadn’t lost his skill to calm himself down when needed.
Xie Lian breathed in and out, deep breaths, reveling in the feeling of the air filling his lungs and escaping shortly afterwards, the motion never-ending. With every passing breath the feeling of rage wilted, bringing him back from the brink of explosion to the simmering feeling of it inside him.
With a final deep breath, Xie Lian placed his hands on his belly. Mercifully, morning had made it flat again and Xie Lian hummed with relief. He simply wouldn’t know what to do if he started showing before the ceremony. The mere thought of it was appalling to the degree that it made his skin crawl.
With nothing to do inside, Xie Lian stepped outside the hut and promptly stopped on his feet.
There was… a breakfast tray.
On his tiny, broken porch.
He stared at it for a good while, not really believing what he was seeing. Who would come and bring him breakfast? No one knew him or where he lived.
No one cared about him.
And yet, there it was, breakfast for him. Congee, a steamed bun and a healthy dose of fruit.
“I…” Xie Lian said to no one in particular. As much as he kept turning his head around, there was no one there. Just the mysteriously appeared tray of breakfast. “Um. Thank you,” he ended up saying, quite lamely, hoping that whatever spirit had brought him this would hear.
Of course, a more apparent answer was that some of the farmers had brought him breakfast, but pondering over that, Xie Lian discovered that didn’t make any sense, either. Oh well. It probably wasn’t poisoned so he could eat it. And even if it was, Xie Lian wouldn’t die, so it was all okay!
A small, grateful smile graced his face as he dug in, so fleeting and tiny that he didn’t even realize he was smiling.
Later he found himself at the Puqi Village again with a bunch of new paper flowers to sell.
He didn’t quite know what to expect from the day, but was startled when it took maybe an incense stick of time for San Lang to appear and make his way to Xie Lian.
“Good morning, gege,” the youth said and smiled.
“Good morning, San Lang!” Xie Lian exclaimed, his lips turning upwards.
“Gege seems to be in a good mood today.” San Lang quirked an eyebrow and looked at Xie Lian.
“Yes. I had a good breakfast,” replied Xie Lian, still smiling.
“Oh. Pray tell, gege, what did you have that makes you smile so?”
Xie Lian blushed. San Lang must think him an idiot for being so excited about a very basic breakfast!
“I had,” he croaked, feeling silly and a bit ashamed, “congee. It was delicious, prepared just the way I like it. And fruit! Delicious, fresh fruit! I have no idea where the fruit appeared, because it’s autumn already, but I loved every bit. And…” the corners of his eyes crinkled as he kept a dramatic pause, before whispering, “a steamed bun! San Lang! You have no idea how good it was!”
San Lang was smiling and chuckling lightly at Xie Lian’s joy.
“Sorry, sorry,” Xie Lian said, sobering up. “I’m sure it’s very dull to listen to me talk about food. San Lang is from a good family, surely you can have whatever you like, whenever you like.”
San Lang shrugged, a nonchalant look on his handsome face. “My family kicked me out. I’m alone now.”
“Oh,” Xie Lian cried out, eyes widening. “I’m so sorry. You must feel awful. Please, I want you to have this. For you, or for your beloved.”
Xie Lian rummaged around his stash of paper flowers, and suddenly winced, feeling the sharp edge of the paper cut him. He pulled a flower out, mindful of not getting any droplets blood on it, but couldn’t help making a face.
“Gege, what is it?” San Lang asked, voice tight with… worry? Xie Lian frowned inwardly. There had been a time in his life when all the smallest of his injuries had been met with words of concern and an eager gesture to help, but those days were long gone.
No one had cared about his wellbeing in centuries.
“San Lang,” he forced out a laugh, “it’s just a paper cut. Nothing to worry about.” And really, it was such a small, meaningless thing that he almost felt ridiculous even for bringing it up. A paper cut when his body had been pierced by a hundred swords! Utterly laughable.
Xie Lian tried to hide his hand behind his back in an attempt to draw San Lang’s attention elsewhere, but the black-haired youth wasn’t having any of it. Instead of giving up, he stepped closer, into Xie Lian’s personal space, and reached out for his hands. Xie Lian was instantly surrounded by his heady alpha scent, that tinge of familiarity mixed with a cool sensation of calm washing over him. Mutely he let San Lang grab his hand and bring it to be inspected.
“You’re bleeding,” San Lang said, sounding displeased. His voice trembled minutely.
“It’s nothing, San Lang,” Xie Lian repeated. “Just a paper cut! I’ve had worse.” Much worse.
“Gege shouldn’t bleed at all,” San Lang exclaimed gravelly and with a pained look on his handsome face. “Let me see if I can…”
Before Xie Lian had any time to react, San Lang had torn a small piece out of his immaculate white undershirt and was already wrapping it around Xie Lian’s finger.
This calm dedication, this gentleness, the soft cool touch of San Lang’s fingers on his skin made Xie Lian uncomfortable. If he still had a scent, it would have been sour as a rotten sourplum. He gritted his teeth. “San Lang. I told you, there is no need.”
San Lang refused to let his hand go. “And I told you that gege shouldn’t bleed. Ever.”
They stared at each other, mouths pulled into taut lines and eyes flashing: one set with irritation, another with steely determination.
Finally Xie Lian sighed and pulled his hand away, looking at his finger where the tiny paper cut had been spectacularly wrapped in a white shirt-come-bandage. It was such a silly thing and Xie Lian couldn’t help but feel unexpectedly angry.
Where was someone when he was slaughtered a hundred times over, his blood spilled like it was a holy flowing river? Where was someone when he had almost ended the world? Where was someone when he was taken against his will in the Heavenly Capital, time after time?
Nobody ever came and cared for him then, so why now, when all this was so insignificant. For some reason, he was so angry that he wanted to slap San Lang.
“Gege, it’s okay,” said San Lang after a while.
Even though he probably didn’t know the connotations that the words held for Xie Lian, he felt himself calm down. San Lang only wanted to be friendly, he didn’t deserve Xie Lian’s rage. Xie Lian should treat him better.
“Thank you,” he said plainly and mustered up a smile on his face.
San Lang nodded curtly, but didn’t smile. “Gege should be more careful,” the youth intoned and turned his gaze away.
Xie Lian sighed. “Don’t worry about it anymore, San Lang.” His anger dwindled away and although the paper cut throbbed uncomfortably, maybe the makeshift bandage actually made it a bit better.
“Here,” he said and offered the flower to San Lang. “This was for you. To do as you please.”
San Lang turned to face Xie Lian reluctantly, face still conflicted. But he took the flower into his hands very gently, as if he was holding the most precious of treasures. “It’s a beautiful color. What did gege use to color it with?”
Xie Lian smiled. “Bilberry.”
“Gege is so resourceful,” San Lang hummed and gave him a small smile. Xie Lian smelled his scent around him, pleased and strong and heady, and felt better than in ages. For some reason he wanted to go and bury his face into the juncture of San Lang’s neck and shoulder where his scent glands were, and drown himself in that familiar-yet-not scent.
The thought startled him and he gave an awkward laugh, happy for once that his cursed shackle blocked his scent. It would’ve been terribly embarrassing to have all his unexpected wants known from his scent alone.
“So, what will San Lang do with the flower?” Xie Lian asked to distract himself.
San Lang looked at him and grinned. “Treasure it. Forever.”
Xie Lian balked. “Ahaha. San Lang, you’re too much! Oh, by the way, shouldn’t you be going somewhere? Finding a place to stay, something to eat?”
San Lang just shrugged but made no attempt to leave. “I like it here. By gege’s side. You need someone to solicit customers, no? What does gege think, can this San Lang do a good job at that?”
Xie Lian huffed a startled laugh. His stomach rolled curiously and this time it wasn’t from nausea. “You’re really too much.”
But he didn’t tell the youth no, nor did he tell him to go away.
They spent the day together, San Lang masterfully wooing potential customers to come closer with his sweet words and lovely, deep voice. Xie Lian thought it was a miracle how he could be this charming when he wanted to, still remembering the enraged display of contempt from the day before.
Which one was the real San Lang, he couldn’t say, but he didn’t necessarily care so much.
It had been so long since someone had talked to him, had listened to him talk. Xie Lian found that he liked talking to San Lang, even though he was certain the topics he discussed were boring and dreary to someone that young. However, San Lang listened to him ardently as if not wanting to miss a word of what came out of his mouth, a soft smile on his face and eyes flashing with delight, especially when he managed to coax a genuine laugh out of Xie Lian.
It was all a bit unnerving, because Xie Lian wasn’t well-versed in what had happened in the mortal realm in the past centuries. But for some unknown reason, the questions San Lang asked were the type he was able to answer easily, making him feel more confident and not so terribly out of place.
Time passed quickly and before long, Xie Lian realized he had actually sold his paper flowers. Sold them! A brilliant smile crossed his face as he turned to look at San Lang who froze and swallowed hard upon seeing the joy radiating from Xie Lian’s face.
“We did it, San Lang!” Xie Lian cried out in delight, crouching down to pick up his bag of fruit that was now full of coin. “I can’t believe it!”
San Lang was silent, just staring at him, and Xie Lian was starting to feel slightly self-conscious. “What?” he asked, laughing nervously, “Do I have something on my face?”
San Lang seemed to shake awake from his daze and gave Xie Lian one of his easy, dashing smiles. “Nothing, gege. I was just wondering how masterful the flowers were. But tell me, why does gege need all that money?”
Xie Lian’s heart jumped uncomfortably and a chill ran through his spine. “I… uh. Hahaha, you see San Lang, there’s a Daoist ceremony I must attend in a bit less than a moontime. I wish to be able to compensate properly for it.”
San Lang’s gaze was piercing as he looked at Xie Lian.
“San Lang,” Xie Lian laughed, “there’s nothing to worry about.” The grin softened into a small smile. “Thank you for your hard work today! You’ve been an immense help.”
San Lang looked slightly displeased still. “If gege says so.”
“I do. However, I must now be on my way.” Xie Lian started to gather his belongings, feeling the youth’s gaze on him.
“Will gege be okay on his way home?”
Xie Lian shrugged. “San Lang shouldn’t worry. Everything is fine.”
“Alright.” Suddenly San Lang smiled again brightly. “I will see gege here tomorrow?”
“Mn,” Xie Lian agreed and waved fondly, turning his back on the youth and walking out of the village.
Hua Cheng followed his beloved as he walked the country road, passing hills and rice fields, farms and people and ox carts. He kept his distance, not wanting Xie Lian to realize he was being followed.
It would be too presumptuous to think that Xie Lian would even want to spend time with him, so Hua Cheng would wait until Xie Lian asked for his company; he would never force it.
He gritted his teeth, focusing his attention on the small white figure walking slowly ahead of him. Xie Lian had seemed to be feeling better today. Hua Cheng hadn’t seen him heave once, although he generally was still a bit pale.
His lips turned into a wistful smile. Xie Lian had liked the breakfast he had prepared. It was all he could ask for now.
"Young master, hey!"
Hua Cheng stopped and squinted his eyes, turning his head to look in the direction the voice was coming from. A tanned farmer was waving at him from where he was working on the autumn harvest.
For a moment Hua Cheng thought about just ignoring the farmer. He had no interest in chatting with locals; he had far more important business to attend to. But the farmer just kept waving and signaling him to come closer, looking like he wasn’t about to give up anytime soon.
With a dejected sigh Hua Cheng approached the rice field, mindful of not getting his boots and robes dirtied. "What is it, good farmer?" he asked politely and with a tone that was only slightly exasperated.
"See that young Daozhang there?” the farmer said, pointing at the small figure that was Xie Lian. “Young master, you wouldn’t happen to know where that young man lives?"
"... And why are you asking?" Hua Cheng noted, cold threat seeping into his voice.
The farmer scratched his mussed hair with his dirty hand. "There is something from the wife for him."
Hua Cheng raised his eyebrow and the farmer shrugged awkwardly. "Some food, some ingredients. A protection charm."
"Protection charm?" This caught his attention and he crept closer, eyes glued on the farmer. Just then he remembered Xie Lian mentioning a ceremony and felt his hackles rise.
"Yes. For safe delivery," he farmer pronounced proudly, but his face twisted into a mournful scowl immediately after. "The wife made it herself and had it blessed at the local shrine. But truth be told, young master Daozhang, such a tragedy, truly! An unmated omega, expecting a child and yet! Alone, sick, without food, there is no alpha in the house…"
The farmer rambled on fervently, but Hua Cheng didn't hear anything, didn’t see anything. He only felt, way too much, because—
—because—
The world as Hua Cheng knew it shattered into tiny unstable shards that pierced his very soul, his whole being screaming with pure, unsurmountable agony and white hot fury upon realizing what, exactly, had been done to his beloved omega god.
Notes:
Poor fafa, he's not a happy camper. I wonder what will happen next… Any guesses?
Kudos, comments and all that are much adored although never required <3
My socmed (x/bsky)Oh btw, a brainworm hit and I also recently posted one short Wulian work . Some parts were originally meant for this fic, but it kind of developed a life of its own during one lunch break. Oops.
Chapter 6
Notes:
Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback! I feel loved and I promise to channel the feeling so that it reaches XL and HC. Damn do they need it here...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
After realizing what had happened to his beloved omega, Hua Cheng had no idea how he managed to walk to Xie Lian’s small hut to deliver the food that the farmer had prepared. He was only acutely aware of leaving the bag on the porch after using his butterflies and making sure that Xie Lian was otherwise occupied inside.
His mind was reeling and pure, unfiltered wrath was bleeding into every cell of his body, filling him with rage and horror so deep that he was at loss for what to do.
It might have been the first time in his life and afterlife combined.
Blinded with anger for his god—HOW DARE THEY?!—Hua Cheng made his way into the thick forest surrounding the area. His body, this stupid, shining, faultless youthful skin, trembled under the tidal wave of emotions that mercilessly assaulted him.
Xie Lian was pregnant. Pregnant. With a child.
His pure, untarnished god was pregnant, and Hua Cheng couldn't think straight, couldn’t even speak. There was a foreign feeling of wetness on his face and it took him a while to realize that he was crying—something he hadn't done in centuries, if ever. He hadn’t even known he was capable of crying anymore, but he hadn’t also known he could still be hurt like this, either.
Fat tears fell from his eyes, falling down to soak the fine fabric of his impeccable robes. And then, he just couldn't hold it in: he screamed, a terrifying otherworldly screech that bubbled from the pits of his hurt heart.
His body started glowing, fiercely red, until it couldn’t reign his emotions anymore. Without thinking, he unleashed a shockwave of pulsating, destructive energy that destroyed everything on its path, ripping trees from their roots in one fragment of a time. He panted, gripping his knees, but even his legs couldn’t hold his weight anymore, giving in as he fell to the ground to kneel in a heap of red and black.
Hua Cheng, despite being an alpha, had always had an utterly terrible life. Wherever he went, he was unwanted. An ugly freak, they called him, a child of misfortune. Hated, kicked out of the army, too. Useless even as a soldier.
During his short sad life, only His Highness had ever shown him kindness. He was the only person who had ever seen past the grime, bruises and bandages, and Hua Cheng, in all his lives and forms—be they mortal, immortal, material or immaterial—had made worshipping and protecting Xie Lian his core.
He knew he had already failed in the past way too many times to be forgiven.
But this?
This was beyond anything he had ever even imagined. That someone would go and violate Xie Lian like that.
Bitterness threatened to drown him. He hated himself, hated himself, for letting this happen. The mere thought of the unimaginable torments that Xie Lian had endured for all these centuries, his body humiliated and debased like he was a common whore, threatened to make him go mad. He simply couldn’t bear the thought.
Howling once more from pain, Hua Cheng’s whole body started trembling. His god, his everything, had been raped and shamed while he had been gambling and hosting fucking banquets in Ghost City.
How could he live with himself now?
He found himself retching, black miasma seeping from his mouth and dropping to the ground. He had failed. He had failed once more, he was completely useless. It was unforgivable.
With shaking hands Hua Cheng dug out his dice and rolled them, rematerializing in the lair of a Hate-Demon he knew had been causing trouble in the Ghost Realm. With a snap of his finger he was back in his normal form, growling as he unsheathed Eming. It took mere moments until the lair was filled with the thick, pungent smell of blood, guts and limbs scattered all around it. Eming was painted in red and crimson rain started falling just as Hua Cheng made his way out.
He didn't feel any better.
Finally everything made sense: the bouts of nausea which left his beloved pale and suffering. The fearful gazes targeted at the Heavens and the coldness in his eyes when Xie Lian thought no one was watching. The ceremony, which surely meant abortion, and the money his beloved needed for that.
Hua Cheng felt dizzy and nauseous at the thought that Xie Lian was planning on going through that alone, once more sacrificing his body like it was nothing.
He made his way out of the Hate-Demon’s destroyed lair, face splattered with blood and a crazed scowl on his face. Putting two fingers on his temple he whispered a personal password, known only by a few in all three realms.
“Crimson Rain Sought Flower,” a voice boomed in his head.
“He Xuan,” he answered, pleased that the Ship-Sinking Black Water had answered him immediately. “I need a favor.”
He Xuan hummed in the communication array and Hua Cheng could hear the distant noise of waves crashing on the shore in the background. “I see. One. What would that entail? Two. Why would I help you?”
Hua Cheng growled. “I need a spy in the Heavenly Capital. A trusted someone to infiltrate it and feed me information.” He kept a pause, almost hearing the gears turn on in He Xuan’s head. “As to your concern of ‘why’… Well, two reasons. First, revenge. Second, I’m willing to waive a quarter of your debts.”
“Heh,” He Xuan huffed and by the tone of his dark voice, Hua Cheng knew he had the other Supreme hooked. “Only a quarter? I don’t know…” His voice sounded gleeful and Hua Cheng almost wanted to snort if only the matter wasn’t so serious.
He didn’t know the details about He Xuan’s deep hatred towards the Heavens, nor was he interested in learning them, but it seemed that his offer had resonated well. Revenge—his, Hua Cheng's, did it even matter?
“Make it one-thirds,” he countered.
“You are… desperate. Whatever, it’s not my business. You've got a deal.”
Hua Cheng's posture relaxed minutely. “Thank you,” he said plainly.
It wasn’t common for the two Supremes to thank each other, so He Xuan surely was surprised, yet said nothing. “Is the method of infiltration free?” he merely inquired with a completely neutral tone.
“Yes. I just need you not to hurt anyone... after potential initial sacrifices. Yet.” Hua Cheng emphasized the last word. “I need information and gossip. Whatever you can get.”
“About anything in particular?”
Hua Cheng sighed, and closed his eyes. He really had to calm down and wait until he understood the big picture. But, after that…
A small tremor entered his voice as he spoke. “The Crown Prince of Xianle.”
Xie Lian was surprised to find more food on his porch when he exited his hut late at night to go and wash his face in the stream. This time it wasn’t a tray, but rather a bag full of simple delights that made a smile appear on his face.
He had no idea who was taking care of him, but it didn’t matter. He couldn't sense no malicious intent in this simple act of caring. If something, he was surprised that someone even knew he lived here.
He, a poor nobody omega.
With a smile on his face he started pulling out items from the bag. Plain rice, some cooking ingredients. Steamed buns and fruit. And then—
A protection charm for safe delivery.
His face fell.
Looking at the simple square item made of coarse fabric with messy embroidery, Xie Lian felt his blood turn ice in his veins. His hands shook as he inspected the item, sensing immediately that it had even been blessed. He squeezed the charm in his fist, wanting to tear it apart. The only person who knew was the farmer, but surely he couldn’t have…
Xie Lian shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He could tear the charm to shreds or even burn it. But destroying it would surely bring bad luck, and Xie Lian was already so miserably out of it. He needed more luck, not to have whatever crumbs he had left taken away!
He sighed, staring vacantly at the thick curtain of trees nearby, still clutching the wretched item. What should he do? A blessed charm couldn’t be so easily thrown away, either.
The more he thought about it, the more he realized that bringing the blessed charm to the ceremony was his only option, even though his insides twisted with disgust at the thought. But what was done was done, and Xie Lian did want a safe delivery—safe in the way of making sure the fetus and its spirit were truly dead and gone and not a threat to any of the three realm.
He sighed. What a fucking mess. He couldn’t wait to get rid of the hateful leech inside him.
The next day found Xie Lian making his way to the village again with a batch of newly crafted paper flowers. Before being shocked out of his senses the night before, he had tried folding new patterns, going for dizzyingly extravagant shapes and intricate detailing in the petals.
Looking at the people going about their lives around him, Xie Lian briefly wondered how long it would be until the novelty of his products wore out. Well. He would just come up with something different then, he thought stubbornly.
He had been half-expecting to find San Lang already waiting for him at the village, but there were no kind, familiar faces to greet him. Surprised at the sharp pang of disappointment he felt when he didn’t see the handsome youth immediately, he slowly made his way to his regular place and set up his shop, putting his flowers on display, just like the day before, all the while reprimanding himself for being so weak.
How stupid of him, truly. To expect that someone would be there to meet him just because they had been there two days in a row. A dapper young alpha like San Lang surely had better things to do than keeping company to a weary, scentless omega with only a vague understanding of the contemporary times. An attention whore, that's what he was.
Xie Lian nodded dejectedly, as if realizing something. A beloved, San Lang had mentioned. Maybe he had left to meet them. Something rotten hooked his belly just so at the thought, a sour feeling that made his guts twist.
Sighing wearily he stared at his paper flowers. Maybe it was because San Lang was missing, or just because he was feeling nauseous again and probably looking a little bit worse for wear, not many people even looked at him. He tried smiling and calling out, reaching out, inviting people to come and see, but even though they smiled back at him, they passed his shop in a hurry regardless.
Casting his eyes downward, Xie Lian swallowed hard. It seemed that he was out of luck once more.
He started wringing his hands nervously but stopped immediately after realizing what he was doing. A deep sense of sadness engulfed him. Loneliness was nothing new to him, but to be alone while everyone else seemed to have someone—a friend, a family member, a business acquaintance, a lover—with them somehow made it a thousand times worse.
“Gege!”
Xie Lian was so deep in the depths of his spiraling depression that he had failed to see San Lang. But immediately after hearing that deep, clear voice, and smelling San Lang’s already familiar alpha scent, he felt like he was being blanketed by a deep sense of calm.
“San Lang,” he answered and raised his eyes, lips melting into a wobbly smile as his omega instincts took control for a fraction of a moment.
But San Lang didn’t answer his smile, instead staring at him with a serious expression. “I’m so sorry, gege,” the youth started. “This San Lang made gege wait.”
Xie Lian kept smiling, suddenly feeling all warm inside. He hadn’t been abandoned!
“Ah. Don’t worry about it, San Lang. It’s not your obligation or job to keep me company. You are free to go as you please,” he replied, trying to assure the youth that everything was alright. He had no idea why he was looking so downcast all of a sudden.
“No, gege. It’s unacceptable.” San Lang’s voice was quiet and there was something lurking just behind the cool surface. Something that sounded awfully lot like anger.
Xie Lian blinked. Was he angry at Xie Lian after all? Had Xie Lian done something… improper?
“I’m sorry,” he blurted.
“What?” San Lang stared at him like he wasn’t grasping the meaning of the words.
“San Lang sounds angry. I said I’m sorry, in case I’ve somehow offended you.” Xie Lian couldn’t help the tremor in his voice nor the way his eyes darted. Maybe he had gotten his hopes up too early—
“Gege.” San Lang’s voice was rough, sounding much older than his years. “There is nothing you could do to make me angry. Nothing. I’m really sorry, something urgent came up.”
“Don’t worry,” Xie Lian repeated, a bit warily. “San Lang is free to go as he pleases.”
“But—”
“No buts,” Xie Lian said sternly.
San Lang slowly walked to him, face still serious. “Let me help you today as well, gege. No. Not today—I’ll be here every day, if only gege allows.”
“I’m sure San Lang has something better to do,” Xie Lian said nonchalantly, even though his heart jumped with a burst of unexpected happiness. He vaguely realized how intensely stupid he was for feeling so happy just because someone was ready to tolerate his company for a few days.
In fact, to think of it, maybe it would be better to tell San Lang to go away now when they had just gotten acquainted. Xie Lian knew all too well that losing friendships came with a particularly stale flavor to it.
But San Lang was as if he didn’t even hear Xie Lian, the familiar easy smile finally blooming on his beautiful face, making Xie Lian’s breath catch pitifully. “Nonsense. There is nothing more important in this world than helping gege.”
“You’re so insincere!” Xie Lian coughed, blushing, but San Lang only laughed merrily and got to work, waving his hands to catch the interest of the passers-by.
After once more spending the day together, Xie Lian let San Lang walk him to his hut despite feeling terribly embarrassed. Busking, selling useless handmade knickknacks on the streets and living in a ramshackle hut about to crumble down any given moment—he was practically a homeless beggar!
But San Lang had insisted and Xie Lian really wanted to continue talking and pretending that someone actually cared for his company. His nausea, too, was better when San Lang was around.
“Gege lives there?” San Lang asked, eyeing the hut contemplatively as they approached his temporary lodging.
“En,” answered Xie Lian, feeling an embarrassed blush creep up to his face. “For the time being. I… expect to be on my way. Sooner or later, hopefully after the ceremony. The one I mentioned.”
He wasn’t sure if he imagined the look of deep, heartfelt anguish that passed San Lang’s face at the words.
“Mn. Where is gege going next?” inquired San Lang, face neutral again. As the young alpha stretched his tall, slender body, something inside Xie Lian jolted in an unfamiliar way at the sight.
“I have some plans but nothing specific yet.”
“Mm.” San Lang didn’t push the issue further and Xie Lian was only too happy to drop it.
The truth was, he had no plans, nothing, other than to keep running from Jun Wu. He was never going back. He would rather find a way to actually die.
“But gege,” San Lang suddenly continued. “Should you need a place to stay, just ask me, alright? I might have some ideas. Connections and all that.”
Xie Lian smiled at the youth. “Thank you. I promise I will.”
They walked to the hut, chatting all the while but, immediately upon arriving, Xie Lian gasped, eyes going as wide as saucers.
The sight that greeted him was vastly different from the one he had left behind in the morning! Someone had patched the roof and the biggest holes on the wall. And not only patched—the carpentry was top-notch. The hut no longer looked like it might topple down any given moment.
“What…” he uttered in surprise, feeling slightly panicked.
“Gege?” San Lang asked worriedly. “Is everything alright?”
Xie Lian was speechless. “Mm. Yeah, yes. It’s… yes. Everything is okay. More than okay.” He was baffled—first the foods and now this? What was going on here?
“You look surprised,” San Lang noted.
“It’s just that—uh, never mind.” The situation was too odd to even be explained, so he didn't even try. “Would you like to come in? You must be hungry. Although, haha, I don’t have much to offer,” he mumbled pathetically, trying to buy time to collect himself, blushing from embarrassment.
A smile graced San Lang’s face. “I would love to. Although gege needs not care about offering me anything, I’m perfectly content like this.”
Xie Lian gave a small tight nod and led the way inside the hut—
—and stopped on his tracks.
Inside, in that cramped space, there was now a small table with burning incense sticks and a few pieces of fruit. And a flower. A fresh, beautiful flower.
And that wasn’t even all.
On the wall above the table there was a masterful painting of a graceful man in beautiful, celebratory robes who had a sword in one hand and a flower in another.
Taking in the lovely sight of worship in front of him, Xie Lian’s brain froze momentarily as his mind went through all kinds of emotions from pure elation to sheer despair, from stark wonderment to burning anger, finally settling on cold confusion. A despaired growl escaped his mouth as he strode to the altar and forcefully tore down the painting, ripping it to pieces with his bare hands.
San Lang was staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face. “Gege,” he started.
Xie Lian panted raggedly, a torrent of emotions swirling inside him. “I’m sorry. This is… Don’t. I… There seems to have been a mistake. This isn’t a shrine, I don’t recognize this god.”
It was a lie, of course, because of course he knew the god. It was him. Him. The Flower-Crowned Martial God, banished, humiliated and long since disappeared from the world.
“Gege,” San Lang said again with a strangled tone, looking like he wanted to reach out.
“Don’t,” Xie Lian mumbled, still angry and breathing heavily. “I, I… I don’t know, I think it is better that you leave. I’m in no mood for talking after all.” He gripped the torn pieces of paper in his hands, completely crushing them so hard that the sharp edges dug into his palms, drawing droplets of blood.
But San Lang still hadn’t moved and something in him broke. “Go away!” he shouted, voice was anguished and desperate. Angry tears started to fall from his eyes, staining his cheeks. “Leave me alone!”
San Lang looked like he wanted to say something, but in the end the youth just nodded woodenly and turned around, leaving Xie Lian by himself in his recently renovated hut.
The moment he was alone, Xie Lian slumped to the floor, mind running at an incomprehensible speed.
Someone had painted a picture of him and placed it here—together with incense, no less, a true sign of worship. What was the meaning of all this? Was this a threat, was there someone chasing him already? Fear gripped his insides and he clutched his belly. The spiritual energy of the fetus was strong, he could feel it throbbing inside him with every heartbeat.
He hated it.
But if someone wanted to take him back, why provide food and fix his hut first? An absurd, absolutely insane thought hit him quite out of the blue, desperate and delirious. Was there still someone who knew him? A… believer?
He couldn’t deny it. Seeing that picture, that image of what he had once been, made his blood boil with rage and despair so deep he couldn’t even fathom it. All that, gone. And Xie Lian, the god himself, abandoned by everyone.
But he had been a god once. The thought of possibly still having a believer in this world filled him with a sense of pitiful, twisted elation and deep, soul-searing longing, although he knew he wasn’t worthy of receiving worship anymore. The years at Jun Wu’s mercy had only strengthened that understanding.
And yet, he clung to the thought like it was his lifeline. Was there someone who hadn’t abandoned him after all? Someone who still believed in him? It should be impossible, considering the passing of time, and yet Xie Lian found himself wanting, wanting so much.
Staring at the torn pieces of thick paper in his hands, Xie Lian slowly became aware of the tears that were running down his cheeks.
What was he supposed to do now?
Xie Lian didn’t go to the village the next day, instead trying to figure out what he should sell after the interest in his paper flowers would eventually dwindle.
Out of the blue, he remembered an odd conversation he had overheard while walking aimlessly around the village; a wife complaining about how difficult it was at times to light a fire. An idea came to him, then. He should start crafting fire charms—small sticks with solid sulfur on the tip and a bit of blessings from his nonexistent powers to help the common people with their everyday life.
It was such a good idea that he wanted to share it with San Lang.
But San Lang hadn't come to visit. Of course he hadn't, not after the way Xie Lian had treated him the day before. Going bollocks and driving him away. A bout of nausea made him vomit into the bushes next to the hut, and it was only then that Xie Lian realized that he had felt immensely better when he had been surrounded by the young alpha's calming scent.
He sighed, heart full of sorrow. He had been too harsh, taking his anger out on San Lang. It was no wonder the alpha didn’t want to see him anymore.
Falling into an odd pit of depression at the thought of having driven away the only person who had shown any interest in interacting with him, Xie Lian spent the next couple of days collecting the ingredients he needed for his fire charms. His nausea made him feel tired and worn, utterly miserable.
One afternoon, Xie Lian was slowly making his way towards his hut, barely able to keep his eyes open. His body was heavy, foreign, and his belly ached from all the physical strain he had put it through. And yet, upon arriving at his hut he immediately realized there was no way he’d be able to rest just yet.
A gust of wind had made a carpet out of the beautifully colored leaves on his porch. He would definitely need to sweep it first.
Feeling fatigued, Xie Lian slowly placed his gatherings on the ground and trudged to the side of the hut to get his broom. With a sigh, he started sweeping, sending the colorful leaves flying in the air messily.
Suddenly there was a conspicuous flash that left Xie Lian blinking. Once he was able to open his eyes again, a familiar shape of a man materialized in front of him.
He gasped, a chill running all the way to his marrow.
Fuck.
Feng Xin.
“Your Highness.” His former friend said, staring at him with an expressionless face. "The Heavenly Emperor is looking for you."
Notes:
Oh no! OH NO! Where is San Lang?!
(I have the next scene completely written but the chapter would've become so long that I pushed it to the next chapter. Considering that, it should be out relatively soon! Hey I also edited this chapter like seven times because I wanted all the angst to be Just. Perfect. Time well spent.)
Some thoughts about Hua Cheng's and Xie Lian's actions in this chapter.
I believe that if HC was to find out something like this, he would of course want to run to the Heaven and just kill everyone. But, on the other hand, he wouldn't be a Supreme if he wasn't as calculating as he was ruthless, right? Know your enemy and all that. So he's going to plan, and plan it well. And also, I thought about making him jealous, but I truly believe that more than jealous, he would be devastated beyond belief upon learning that despite all his powers, he hadn't managed to protect Xie Lian. Maybe he'll understand to be jealous later. Hello another existential crisis!
As for XL, I truly think that despite the initial burst of anger at being reminded of his past, in his heart he truly is pitifully delighted at the thought that there might be someone to remember him, even though he doesn't think himself worthy. He's been a god once and I really think that just isn't something you can fundamentally take away from him. So HC did the right thing, but just didn't stick around to see the end result, instead thinking that he just blew it.
Sorry for the long rant! I felt I wanted to explain how I see them here and a bit about their motivations :)
Also, this is really bad, but Xie Lian was supposed to have his abortion around chap 2-3. Are were there yet? Noope. I know I said this fic would probably be about 8-10 chapters, so my humble apologies that you're now stuck with this long-ass omegaverse whump dump. I promise you lots of shameless smut as a reward once we get there <3
My socmed (x/bsky). Come say hi!
Chapter 7
Notes:
Hi! The feedback to this fic continues to keep me absolutely flabbergasted. Thank you <3 Decided to deanon myself, although it's never been a secret as such.
Anyway! A slightly longer chapter this time. I hope you enjoy :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Xie Lian stared at Feng Xin, who looked immaculate in his heavenly robes, very out of place here among the scraps and dried maple leaves surrounding his hut.
"Ah," he finally said with a carefully masked look of nonchalance on his face. "And now you've found me. What a joyous reunion." Xie Lian tilted his head, then deliberately let his eyes fall away from his former friend’s face, focusing his whole attention of sweeping those annoying leaves off the porch.
Swish. Swish. SWISH.
The broom made the loveliest sounds when connecting with the floor and the leaves, thought Xie Lian vaguely. It almost managed to cover his thundering heartbeat, even.
Feng Xin sighed, very clearly irritated. "Tell me one good reason as to why I shouldn't take you back to the Heavenly Capital immediately. One reason, Your Highness. I'm finding it hard to trust you after that clever stunt you pulled back then."
His former friend sounded more peeved than truly angry, which made wild hope surge inside Xie Lian. He had left Feng Xin quite in the pinch when escaping, after all. It must not have been very fun to explain to the Emperor that his dearest Xianle had escaped on his watch. Feng Xin had every right to be angry with Xie Lian, and yet he seemed not to be.
Somehow, the thought of making Feng Xin suffer like that made Xie Lian slightly cheerful, although he didn’t let it show. Instead he kept sweeping with great enthusiasm, sending the leaves flying and purposefully keeping his mouth shut. His mind, however was racing, desperately trying to come up with a solution to his current predicament.
He was technically a mortal without any spiritual powers even though he couldn’t die in the traditional sense of the word. If Feng Xin was to use brute force against him, there was no way Xie Lian would be able to match him, even with Ruoye’s help.
He felt the agitated aura of his spiritual weapon ripple against his skin, feeling glad that he was still able to wield its powers despite his lack of qi. Xie Lian slowly patted the silk band, which calmed down immediately, growing dormant once more.
"Well?" Feng Xin's voice grew in intensity as he kept glaring at Xie Lian, hands on his hips.
"I..." Xie Lian started, mind still occupied. He was really running out of options here, but what could he expect, wearing a cursed shackle of bad luck on his ankle. The final gift from Jun Wu, after which the Heavenly Emperor had managed to teach him the true meaning of what it meant to have bad luck.
He suddenly wanted to throw up, all too aware of the thing inside him, his stomach cramping and twisting. "Give me a moontime. There is something I need to do but I promise to return with you afterwards."
That was a lie, of course, and even Feng Xin could tell it. He sighed. "Your Highness. I'm truly sorry but I don't trust you. In fact, I should take you back immediately, it's the Emperor's orders. All martial gods are looking for you, you should be happy that it was me who found you." Feng Xin’s voice was quiet.
Xie Lian’s blood froze. Of course. Jun Wu was hunting him down like he was common prey.
Suddenly something inside him snapped. He had nothing to lose anymore.
“You wanted a reason? I can’t go back because I'm with a child," he spat out. "Do you have any idea what he's been doing to me all these centuries? Raping me!" His voice rose until he was almost screaming, eyes blazing with anger and desperation.
Feng Xin looked at him in horror, as if seeing him for the first time.
"And now I'm pregnant," Xie Lian continued, forcing the words out through his teeth. "You are a god, Feng Xin, don't play stupid. You know what will happen to children who are born out of madness and violation. The hatred and insanity they carry inside. I can feel it already, that malicious spiritual power getting stronger inside me as days go by."
"Your Highness," Feng Xin choked, clearly trying to take in the news yet failing monumentally.
"Stop that," Xie Lian said, trying to calm down a bit. "Stop calling me that and leave me be. Let me finish this. Let me… just…"
Feng Xin's mouth moved, opening and closing a few times, before he was able to find the right words. "So you jumped down to have it aborted."
Xie Lian glared at the god. How obtuse was he even? "Yes. Yes! I need to have the pregnancy dealt with and the spirit properly pacified."
"But the Heavens..."
"Are you fucking stupid or what part of reality can't you understand!?" Xie Lian shouted, suddenly too tired to continue maintaining his calm. "The Emperor used me for his ruts for centuries! You think anyone in the Heavenly Capital would help me? Wake up, Feng Xin!" He laughed an ugly laugh, body shaking with twisted mirth.
Feng Xin looked confused and crestfallen, all his beliefs suddenly torn to pieces. "I thought..."
"I don't know what you thought about me being prisoned there nor do I care to hear more about your innocent stupidity. There are things that matter more, now." Xie Lian averted his eyes.
"So... I take it that you're not coming back even after a moontime."
Xie Lian paused, considering his next words carefully. "What I’m asking is that you give me a moontime to make sure the wicked spirit of the baby is properly dispersed." He choked on the word 'baby', bile rising to his throat. “You can find me then and we fight, fair and square. If I lose, I’ll come with you. It’s a promise.”
"But I don't wish to fight you, Your Highness," Feng Xin said quietly, seemingly shaken at the information he had just received.
“Too bad,” Xie Lian whispered. "Can you give me a moontime?"
As Feng Xin hesitated with an anguished look on his face, clearly torn between his obligations as a god and his personal sense of morality, the air suddenly sizzled and cracked. Xie Lian had barely a time to think a brief 'oh fuck!' in his head before Mu Qing appeared out of thin air.
“What the fuck?” Feng Xin exclaimed, coughing. “What’s wrong with you? Can’t you fucking stay away from business that has nothing to do with you?”
Mu Qing gave him a shrill look, dusting his robes. “Since it’s about His Highness, I believe he’s made this business everyone’s business already.” Then he turned to stare at Xie Lian with a steely look. “But that’s what he’s always been exceptionally good at. Making his problems everyone’s problems.”
Xie Lian felt his face grow hot and red, and he clutched his broomstick pitifully.
“So, why are you wasting your time here, anyway? Let’s take him and go back,” continued Mu Qing, targeting his words at Feng Xin.
At that moment, Xie Lian felt fear like he had never felt fear before. It gripped his heart, ate at his belly, turned his blood rotten and stale. He looked at Feng Xin, opening his mouth, yet nothing came out. Please, he wanted to say, to plead and beg, but words refused to leave his lips.
He was quite simply frozen with the fear at the thought of being forced back to Jun Wu.
Feng Xin sighed. “Mu Qing. There are… circumstances around His Highness’ disappearance. We cannot take him back yet.”
“Oh? And those would be?” Mu Qing sneered, looking impatient. “I’m finding it difficult to come up with any proper reason.”
Feng Xin turned to look at Xie Lian, probably expecting him to explain all this and sweet talk Mu Qing into not taking him.
But this was Mu Qing—it was never going to work out, Xie Lian thought desperately. However, there was nothing else he could do. One martial god was bad already, two were impossible. “I’m with a child,” he finally uttered, humiliated.
Mu Qing’s eyes bulged. “What? How?”
Xie Lian bared his teeth. “Well. Despite your cultivation and purity, you mustn’t be so ignorant as to not know how omegas get pregnant.”
“But,” Mu Qing started.
“It’s Jun Wu’s,” Feng Xin interrupted. “The Heavenly Emperor took advantage of His Highness during his ruts and now he’s pregnant.”
‘Taking advantage’ was a mild way of putting it, but Xie Lian was too tired to care. “Yeah. A child born of hate and violence and all things evil. Tell me, Mu Qing, what sort of a half-god would that grow out to be? Spiteful, hateful, wicked. A terror to all realms.”
Mu Qing opened his mouth and closed it immediately, teeth clanking together.
“So. I’m here to take care of… the problem.”
“But the Emperor…” Mu Qing started. "I don't believe..."
“I don’t give a fuck about the Emperor,” Xie Lian barked. “I won’t bring a wicked spirit like that to the world. It needs to be gone.”
“And so, after a moontime, we shall revisit His Highness and have him… reconsider this matter of returning with us. Before that, we keep our mouths shut and the other gods away from here,” Feng Xin concluded, and for a brief moment, Xie Lian wanted to hug him.
But, of course, he didn’t.
It took Mu Qing a moment to come to terms with all the information suddenly dumped on him, his gaze flicking between Feng Xin and Xie Lian. He looked like he dearly wanted to protest, but finally nodded, mouth drawn into a tight, unhappy line.
Feeling perplexed at the turn of the events, Xie Lian spoke. “How did you find me anyway?” He couldn’t believe it. His former friends still had some morals left in them.
Xie Lian wanted to weep from relief.
Feng Xin was the first to answer. “I calculated the potential trajectory of your fall,” he said. “Considering that you lack spiritual powers, you couldn’t have used any to transport yourself anywhere else than where your body fell.”
Xie Lian nodded. It made sense. “And you?” he asked with thin voice, looking at Mu Qing’s disdained face.
“I followed the rumors of a filthy, potentially injured trash-seller in ill-fitting clothes that had suddenly appeared in the area.”
Xie Lian knew he shouldn’t let the words hurt him, but he just couldn’t help it. Shame set his veins ablaze, bright and burning. He smiled stiffly.
It was Feng Xin who suddenly growled. “Must you always be so fucking mean to His Highness?”
Mu Qing snorted. “Look at him. Nothing high about him anymore. Wearing rags—are those for women??—living in a shack like this. He was better off in the Heavenly Capital.”
“How dare you insult him like this?!” Feng Xin was living and looked like he was actually going to punch Mu Qing, who merely hmph’ed.
“Just stating the facts,” he said coolly right before his face made contact with Feng Xin’s fist. “FUCK!” Mu Qing screeched and lunged at Feng Xin, who had been expecting the counterattack.
Xie Lian looked at his two friends, too miffed to say anything. It really seemed that some things never changed. He also found he didn’t feel particularly sorry for the amount of hits Feng Xin managed to land on Mu Qing.
"Who's that?" uttered Mu Qing suddenly with a crazed look on his face, fingers going for Feng Xin’s ears. Feng Xin blinked, his hand still around Mu Qing's throat.
Xie Lian turned around and blinked, a small, pitifully hopeful smile spreading on his face before he could do anything to suppress it.
It was San Lang, languidly strutting to where the trio was standing, tall and handsome, wearing his red short robe over his white tunic and with a fake smile plastered on his face. “Hello gege. I popped by to see if you’d need any help with the house.”
Xie Lian’s heart jumped with a tiny burst of happiness. San Lang was here, Xie Lian hadn’t managed to drive him away.
Then Sang Lang turned his attention on the two gods and sighed. “Woe me. It seems that gege has developed a pest problem." He looked mournful. “How sad.”
"PESTS! Just who are you calling pests!" screeched Mu Qing before his mouth was stuffed full on Feng Xin's fist.
"San Lang," Xie Lian exclaimed, unconsciously inching closer to the youth. His scent was still spicy and calming, but there was something feral and dangerous to it now, as if he couldn’t quite control his pheromones that kept leaking into his very aura. "I was just sweeping the porch, so nice of you to visit. My friends here were just about to leave."
"Oh. What a pity," San Lang smiled, baring his fangs. "I happen to have a lot of first-hand experience with pest extermination, although it's been a while. Is gege sure it’s not needed?"
Both Mu Qing and Fen Xin's eyes bulged out and veins popped on their foreheads, their beef suddenly forgotten in the face of a common threat. Who was this arrogant youth to dare to speak to them like this? There was something extremely suspicious about him!
"Gege? Gege? Just what are you? Reveal yourself!" Feng Xin ordered, clearly agitated, and for the first time Xie Lian thought he could hear some real worry in his voice.
San Lang pouted and stepped to stand closer, right next to Xie Lian. "Gege, are these two bothering you? You can be honest."
"No. As I said, they were just about to leave." Xie Lian smiled woodenly and waved his broomstick in the air as if to make a point.
"Good," nodded San Lang, and his voice suddenly dropped to a deep, harsh growl, a contrast to his youthful elegance. “I can see they’re making gege uncomfortable.”
A solitary silver butterfly suddenly appeared out of nowhere, fluttering to where Feng Xin and Mu Qing where standing, circling them innocuously, almost playfully. Xie Lian thought it was cute and couldn't understand why his former friends' expressions were suddenly filled with indecipherable terror and dread, their bodies stiff.
“You… you...! How dare you?! Stay the fuck away from him!” Feng Xin choked out. The butterfly landed on top of his topknot and Mu Qing’s eyes looked like they were going to fall out of his eye sockets at the sight.
"Your Highness! Do you even realize...!" He was unable to finish his sentence.
“Pests who can’t even speak properly,” sneered San Lang. “Stay away from him? Stay away from him? Gege, would you like this San Lang to leave?”
Xie Lian looked at the heated exchange of words, his eyes flying between San Lang and his two former friends. What a silly question. “No,” he said quietly. “Of course not. Please stay. San Lang has just only arrived.”
San Lang flashed a wickedly feral smile at the two gods, letting his hand rest against his hips in a relaxed pose, as if he had no worries in the world. “You heard it. This is gege’s house. Gege wants me to stay, so I’ll stay. You two, on the other hand,” he narrowed his eyes, “are nothing but meaningless, worthless bugs. Scram.”
Mu Qing reached out to grasp the silver butterfly that was still perched on top of Feng Xin’s head with the aim of crushing it, but the pretty butterfly immediately fluttered away almost as if it was mocking the god.
San Lang smiled.
"Now. I believe you'll find your way out of my scrap garden," stated Xie Lian, quietly. "Remember our deal. A moontime and we shall speak again.”
“Beat it,” whispered San Lang and waved his hand, stepping in front of Xie Lian to shield him. Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, because it should’ve been him protecting the youth! When had the roles been reversed like this?
But it seemed that neither Feng Xin nor Mu Qing were in the mood for arguing anymore. “A moontime, Your Highness. A moontime. It’s a promise,” stuttered Mu Qing with his face flushed with fear and annoyance.
“A promise,” Xie Lian echoed as if he was affirming the words.
Feng Xin gave a curt nod as well before dragging Mu Qing away, the gods disappearing into thin air.
Xie Lian blinked. Well. That would be harder to explain to San Lang, as would be the ‘Your Highness’ part. He opened his mouth to clarify, maybe downplay his importance—he wasn’t even important anymore!— but instead, what came from his lips was a mumbled apology.
"San Lang. I'm sorry." Xie Lian stared at the young alpha’s broad back, letting his eyes trace the well sculpted shape of them, the line of his strong neck and that crooked ponytail. "You came even though I treated you badly back then."
San Lang shrugged easily. "Gege has nothing to worry about. You were upset, I happened to be there. No hard feelings taken."
The youth then turned around and gave Xie Lian a reassuring grin, which made him feel slightly better, although no less ashamed of his childish behavior. Getting angry over a painting. What a spoiled brat he was, throwing tantrums like that like he didn't have much urgent things to ponder over.
He sighed, feeling disgusted with himself.
“Gege,” San Lang started. “Let me take this. I think the porch is clean enough.” He grabbed the broomstick from Xie Lian’s hands and placed it against the wall. “Forget about them. Instead, what does gege have planned for tonight?” he asked, smiling charmingly.
Xie Lian returned the smile, although it was a bit wobbly still. “I’m going to make fire charms. Something new to sell.”
“Gege is so imaginative. This San Lang wouldn’t have come up with a better idea,” the youth praised with a delighted tone. “Do you have everything you need?”
“Yes,” Xie Lian said. “I had just arrived when…” He snapped his mouth shut. He didn’t want to think about Feng Xin and Mu Qing, and whether they’d be able or even willing to keep their part of the deal.
“What a coincidence I happened to be around,” San Land said, his tone filled once more with barely hidden venom. “Pests.”
Xie Lian laughed lightly. “Yes well. It could’ve gone better with them, I guess. Or maybe not, maybe I should be happy they left me be… I mean, we have a history. It’s complicated. Ah, San Lang! Sorry, I’m rambling again, ahaha.” And he hadn’t even gotten to the ‘your highness’ part! It was becoming quite obvious that he wasn’t ‘Hua Xie’, and maybe San Lang had even guessed it already. Xie Lian just didn’t know how.
“Not to worry, gege. The charms?”
Xie Lian smacked his forehead and groaned. The charms, of course! He should focus on the charms.
“Will you help me?” He felt his cheeks redden as the words left his lips. It was so odd, awkward even. He had been perfectly fine being alone, so why was he sounding so needy all of a sudden? It wasn’t as if he wanted to dump his problems on random people. No, he was very good at suffering through the horrors of his life alone.
And yet, here he was, just having invited San Lang to stay and spend more time with him.
He was just about to say something else, to take his invitation back, but San Lang had already accepted it with a happy smile on his face.
Xie Lian’s movements felt stilted as he walked to the door and opened it, letting the youth in.
They spent the remaining hours of daylight meticulously crafting the fire charms. Xie Lian was quite pleased with the amount of charms they had been able to make, inserting them carefully inside the small boxes he had folded from another batch of scrap scrolls, gluing a bit of grinded stone dust to the side with the sticky resin he had collected from the trees in the surrounding forest.
“Ok, let’s see,” he muttered and took one of the charms, scratching the end saturated with his special sulfur mix against the coarse surface of the box with a focused look on his face. It took a fraction of a second and shhhsst—a tiny flame emerged from the tip of the small, wooden stick, flickering and glowing.
“Oh!” Xie Lian exclaimed excitedly, eyes wide. “It actually works!”
San Lang nodded with a wide smile. “These will surely be a hit, gege! You are helping the people.” His look soured. “Even if they don’t deserve gege’s help.”
Xie Lian didn’t say anything and just kept grinning, ignoring the last part. Then it hit him. They were done. What now?
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” he blurted and immediately realized he had no ingredients to cook dinner with. “Err,” he started, but once more, San Lang was quicker.
“Don’t worry. I brought these,” the youth said and pulled a few pies from where they had been hidden in his robes.
Xie Lian sniffed the air. They smelled divine, as if they had been just baked. But he was too hungry to start playing coy, instead taking the offered pie and starting to munch on it, sighing in bliss and mumbling happily all the time. He could feel San Lang staring at him, but was simply too content to care.
“Hey,” he said after finishing a pie number two, frowning a bit. “I was thinking about something. San Lang mentioned that I should ask him if I’d need a place to stay.”
San Lang nodded with a smile on his face. “Very true gege. This one might have some ideas.”
“I see.” Xie Lian fell silent, face serious all of a sudden. “And if I wanted to… disappear?”
Tilting his head, San Lang regarded him solemnly, his smile bleeding away in an instant. “Ghost City. Gege would have to go to Ghost City.”
Xie Lian gasped audibly. The Ghost Realm was one of the three realms on this earth, inhabited by dead souls and ghosts of various degrees of powers. He had never heard of a mortal who had willingly even tried to enter that realm. Although not all ghosts were dangerous and filled with ill-intent, Xie Lian just didn’t know how he would be received, or how he should even go about looking for Ghost City.
“Gege shouldn’t be afraid,” said San Lang with a soft, low voice. “Ghost City treats well those who are invited.”
“And I would be invited?” Xie Lian raised his eyebrow, trying to cover the way his heart had started to beat faster than before, but San Lang just shot him a small heated smile and tilted his head once more.
Xie Lian decided to try another approach. “Who’s in charge of Ghost City?”
San Lang’s eyes crinkled mischievously as he answered. “Crimson Rain Sought Flower, Hua Cheng. A Supreme-level Ghost King—the most powerful of the current ones, in fact.”
Xie Lian blinked. Crimson Rain Sought Flower, Hua Cheng. Sounded very… poetic. His heart was full of doubt when he spoke. “San Lang, don’t joke like that, have mercy on this poor gege. Surely such a formidable ghost couldn’t be bothered by a useless lowly thing like me. I’m sure he’d rather feed me to other ghosts.”
San Lang shook his head, still looking mirthful. “He would do no such thing.” But the smile fell away from his face soon, his mouth drawn into an unhappy line. “Gege isn’t useless or lowly. No, gege is noble, gracious and special.”
Xie Lian huffed. Weren’t those the words that San Lang had used to describe his beloved? What an odd coincidence to use the same ones. Such a fickle young heart! He shrugged. “Well. If San Lang says so,” said, still feeling unconvinced.
“Trust me on this, gege. If you need to hide, just go to Ghost City.”
Xie Lian narrowed his eyes playfully, still not quite believing the youth’s words. “San Lang is pretty knowledgeable about everything in this world.”
“I read a lot,” the young alpha stated plainly, but there was a definite teasing tone to his voice.
Xie Lian fell silent. His mind was racing, scrambling to make the dots connect. Then he spoke. “The painting. Was that you?”
There was a long moment of silence in the air before San Lang answered. “Yes.”
“Ah.” He didn’t say anything else, although his heart was hammering in his chest. He didn’t know how, but San Lang really knew. “I’m not him,” he said, voice tinged with silent anguish.
For a moment it looked like San Lang wanted to reach out and maybe touch him, but then his expression grew closed and he sighed. “I think I must be on my way. I have bothered you enough.”
Xie Lian’s head shot up. “Do you have a place to stay?”
“I’ll figure out something,” San Lang said, face melting into a nonchalant grin. “It’s no problem, gege. Don’t worry about it.”
“Nonsense,” Xie Lian sputtered. San Lang had helped him so much, there was no way he’d just drive him away without a place to stay! “You can stay here for the night.”
San Lang’s eyes grew big and slightly wild. “I… couldn’t impose…”
“Don’t be like this, San Lang,” Xie Lian laughed. “Come on, it would make me happy to know that you have a roof above your head.” A roof someone had coincidentally just patched.
Xie Lian refused to think about it more.
“If gege says so.” For some reason the youth’s voice was subdued and hesitant, his eyes covered by shadows.
“But I must warn you,” Xie Lian said slowly. “We need to share a bed since there isn’t much space.”
San Lang smiled thinly and his hands seemed to tremble. “It’s alright, gege. This San Lang is content with anything.”
Xie Lian nodded feebly, and when they laid down on the straw mat together, he couldn’t help but think how improper this was. An unmated omega with a young, dapper alpha who had a beloved of his own.
Suddenly, a memory from the past punched all breath out of him and threatened to send him spiraling down the deep, dark pits of despair.
He had experienced the same thing once before, with Wuming.
Wuming.
The greatest and possibly the saddest of all his failures. They had traveled together, shared accommodation just like this: an unmated omega with a young alpha who had a beloved but who had, for some peculiar reason, decided to stick with Xie Lian. The fact that Wuming was a ghost didn’t matter.
And what had happened to Wuming?
Xie Lian was cursed with bad luck. He should tell San Lang to get away from him before something happened to the youth. He would tell him the first thing tomorrow, but why did the mere thought of it make his heart ache hollowly? Was it so wrong to have this one thing for himself, this small piece of solace and companionship he hadn’t had in centuries? This scent that calmed him down and drove away his nausea and sickness?
Tears gathered at his eyes as he blew out the candle, letting darkness engulf the hut. He closed his eyes and allowed his mind to drift off, deliberately turning his back on San Lang.
Notes:
Just a tiny innocent little butterfly, I have no idea why FX and MQ were so enraged. I also imagine them fighting all the way back to the Heavenly Capital about their deal with Xie Lian and what the actual fuck they're going to do now. On the other hand, it remains unknown if Jun Wu actually already knows and is merely having fun torturing XL a bit more by scaring him. He's a horrible creep in this T_T
About timeline: XL asks for a moontime because he’s gonna have the abortion sooner -> recover -> disappear. That’s the plan and he wants some buffer. Caught that he said ”come find me” to FX and not ”come meet me”?
Also, more HC POV in next chapter! I'm seeing the donghua S1 where he would be so flustered when Xie Lian accidentally touches him, mouth wobbling, pulling his hands away...
My socmed (x/bsky) Come say hi if you’d like! Throwing in some random fic ideas every once in a while.
Chapter 8
Notes:
You guys are really the best! Thank you for enjoying the story, I feel so motivated to finish this sooner than later. Despite having gotten distracted by posting two separate hualian oneshots this week. Sigh. Those two are destroying my mind.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hua Cheng breathed uneasily as he laid on the thin, worn-down straw mat that played the part of a bed in Xie Lian’s hut. No actual air left his lips as he tried to collect his thoughts.
He was sleeping next to his god.
His god.
His brain was nothing but a jumbled mess, no matter how composed he looked on the outside. A shivering spark ran down his spine as he watched the shape of Xie Lian’s shoulders, so beautiful and delicate, yet packed with strength. The dip of his waist as he laid on his side, blooming into the wonderful curve of his hips and thighs, shapely and powerful, clearly those of a male omega.
Xie Lian’s long silky hair was cascading down on the straw mat and Hua Cheng longed to bury his hands in his beloved's hair. But he wouldn’t dare, even though the sight was enticing him like nothing else before. Just that tiny lock of hair right there, and Hua Cheng was in pieces.
He also longed to bury his nose to the omega’s neck, right where his scent glands were, yearned to trace the shape of it with his fangs and feel the skin with his lips.
He couldn’t smell Xie Lian—oh, he wanted to rip that offensive shackle to pieces!—but he could feel the agitation rolling off his omega in waves. Hua Cheng deflated for a moment. He would’ve never imposed if he had known it would cause his god distress.
He mentally smacked himself for allowing to be carried away like this. To think that Xie Lian would just welcome him to his small hut? To think that his omega would be happy to have Hua Cheng there?
In his life, no one had ever been happy to see him. It was laughable, really, how easily he had managed to deceive himself into thinking that this time would be different, that he’d be doing Xie Lian a favor. His omega probably hated every alpha on sight because of what had been done to him.
Hua Cheng sighed inaudibly, reflecting on the brevity of the situation. Some other alpha would have been jealous, maybe, to know that their chosen omega had been… deflowered.
But not Hua Cheng.
No. Hua Cheng wasn't jealous. He was mad with rage, utterly beyond redemption in his burning hatred for the Heavens on behalf of Xie Lian. He was going to wreck the Heavenly Capital until there was no palace left standing, no god left to call for mercy! They would feel his wrath like never before.
Staring at Xie Lian’s sleeping form, so close yet mentally lifetimes away, Hua Cheng went through what had happened today.
Feng Xin and Mu Qing, those fucking imbeciles.
Of course Hua Cheng recognized them, knew exactly who those two were. He remembered them from the Xianle civil war, the ones who were supposed to be at Xie Lian’s side, yet ended up leaving him, throwing him away like we was common trash worth nothing. Just their alpha stench was enough to make him boil with unhinged anger, memories of his first lifetime assaulting his senses and sanity.
The sight of Mu Qing, especially, made his anger flare. The asshole that kicked him out of the army when all he had wanted to do was to protect and serve his god. He was also the one who had turned his back on Xie Lian at Mt. Taicang when the omega had finally found it in him to cultivate. Hua Cheng burned with resentment so deep that it was starting to leak out from the confines of his human skin, boiling droplets of rage oozing from the pores and soiling the straw mat.
That sobered him up.
This was Xie Lian’s bed, for fuck’s sake! And here he was sullying it, dirtying it with his filth and the mess of his hate. He had to calm down for His Highness’ sake. He was of no use if he couldn’t control his emotions; he had to play it cool and plan it well.
Hua Cheng closed his eyes. It always felt discomfiting to find himself with a set of two eyes in this form, even though the left one was still blind. He briefly wondered just how ugly Xie Lian must find his true form. A freak, he would probably think, disgust painted on his face.
Something hooked his heart at the thought.
Maybe it would be better if Xie Lian never saw the true him. Maintaining a skin like San Lang’s was no challenge for a Supreme like himself. However, nothing could change the fact that he was boundlessly more powerful in his true form. Bitter resignation engulfed him as he mulled over the fact that he would eventually need to transform in order to properly protect Xie Lian.
Reaching out one hand to almost touch Xie Lian’s hair, Hua Cheng shuddered. There hadn’t been any message from He Xuan yet, but Hua Cheng knew these things took time. Despite despising Feng Xin and Mu Qing, he somehow knew that neither one of those idiots was responsible for defiling Xie Lian. Unfortunately, he also hadn’t heard enough to make any further assumptions.
A moontime, Xie Lian had said, and Hua Cheng’s veins froze with worry. He needed to get Xie Lian to Ghost City. The sooner the better. There he would be able to protect his omega with all his powers and might and wealth at his disposal.
Placing two fingers on his forehead, he mentally chanted a password to open a spiritual communication array.
“Chengzhu,” Yin Yu’s voice rang out in his head.
“I expect to have a guest soon,” he said dismissively, but hated, hated, himself for the small jolt of elation and happiness that the thought sent coursing through his body.
If Yin Yu was surprised, he hid it well. “Very well, Chengzhu. What do you need me to do?”
“I’m leaving you in charge of preparations. He’s an omega, possibly ill. He needs food and medicine. Blankets, clean robes and a proper bed to make a nest. Doctors and healers, both holy and unholy.”
And a safe space to heal, Hua Cheng thought, but concealed it from Yin Yu.
“Understood,” Yin Yu said quietly inside his head.
“And. The blankets,” Hua Cheng added. “Check the blanket treasury. Make sure everything is fresh and clean.”
With those final words, he took his fingers off of his temple, severing the mental connection. It didn’t matter if Xie Lian only wanted shelter and not Hua Cheng’s company, he assured himself. His god would come eventually and Hua Cheng would make sure no one would be able to hurt him anymore. That was the most important thing.
However, deep inside he felt his still heart crack and crumble.
“I can go alone, it’s really fine,” Xie Lian laughed while loading his bag with the fire charms for sale.
San Lang shook his head vehemently, giving him a look. There was no other way of putting it. A look.
“Gege,” San Lang’s voice was stern and admonishing. “I will come with you.”
Xie Lian huffed with exasperation. “San Lang. Really, there’s no need for you to be by my side all the time. I’m sure you have more important things to do, don’t you?”
San Lang grinned but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Let me assure you. There’s nothing more important right now than keeping gege company.”
Xie Lian shrugged but couldn’t prevent a small helpless twitch of his lips. “Alright. Who am I to tell San Lang what to do.”
And that was how he found himself making his way to Puqi village with San Lang by his side. They set up their shop at the village square and San Lang immediately started to reach out for people to come and see their charms: New innovation! Makes your life easier! Start fires without hassle!
The young alpha was relentless and, to Xie Lian’s utter surprise, it took merely a few incense sticks of time until they had sold everything they had. And that wasn’t even all! People were still flocking around them, asking for more.
“Tomorrow, tomorrow,” Xie Lian said with a giddy, indulgent smile. “I will be here tomorrow with a new batch.”
“We will be here tomorrow,” agreed San Land, looking somewhat displeased.
Xie Lian huffed sheepishly. San Lang really was too much.
However, as he started collecting his stuff from the ground and putting them inside his large bag, he felt something tugging at his mind, a memory fraying at the edges of his consciousness, a shape, a form of a black-clad ghost who had refused to leave his side, no matter what.
Much like San Lang was refusing now.
“Thanks for your hard work!” Xie Lian said to no one in particular after he was finished with packing. He suddenly felt faint and fatigued. An ugly urge to see just how far San Lang would be willing to stick by his side rose inside him; a masochistic exercise to see what it would take to drive him away and make him abandon Xie Lian like everyone else, leave him to rot alone in his sordid reality.
But, to his utter dismay, San Lang didn’t leave. Not that day nor the next. In fact, a week passed by and San Lang was still there, helping him with chores and gathering more supplies for fire charms, folding small boxes and joining him for their trips to the village. Xie Lian almost felt like an outsider in his own life, watching as things progressed smoothly for once, his coin pouch starting to overflow with money from all the good sales.
It was like his bad luck had been canceled--until his body decided to turn against him again.
One day, after they had returned from the village, Xie Lian was sipping a cup of tea, lost in his thoughts. He was constantly bloated now, definitely showing. The ceremony was in a few days and he was starting to feel anxious. He couldn’t wait to get rid of the fetus, that tangible reminder of Jun Wu.
Just the thought of the Heavenly Emperor made him flinch and his stomach knot, and he almost dropped the cup he was holding. Suddenly he could vividly recall the growls, all the phantom touches, large hands grabbing him, turning him, holding him down. That repulsive, aroused rut scent, too, and lips on his skin.
Xie Lian hiccupped and the cup fell from his hands and clattered onto the floor, hot tea spilling all over it.
“Gege?” San Lang was there in an instant, taking his hands. His touch was cool against Xie Lian’s hands and he turned to stare at the tall youth with wide eyes.
“Are you hurt?” There was urgency in his voice as he clasped Xie Lian’s hands.
“No, no,” Xie Lian muttered. “It’s fine. It’s alright.”
San Lang nodded curtly and seemed to realize that he was holding Xie Lian’s hands. His pulled his hands away quickly as if he’d been burnt and cast his eyes away. “Let me clean it.” Turning his back on Xie Lian, San Lang disappeared outside to get a piece of fabric that was drying in the sunshine.
He didn’t ask what Xie Lian had been thinking about, and Xie Lian didn’t tell.
The next evening, after another day spent at the village, Xie Lian was stirring his stew with furrowed brows. To be honest, the food looked a bit suspicious. Maybe there was something wrong with the ingredients?
But surely that wasn't the case, since they had received more fresh produce from the kind farmer down the road. He absently recalled the way the farmer had cast San Lang an appreciative look and nodded. The expression on San Lang's face hadn't changed, but Xie Lian had seen the tiny twitch of his fingers upon being acknowledged. He briefly wondered what had transpired between those two before.
Suddenly, smelling what he was cooking, Xie Lian felt a strong need to throw up.
He had been feeling better ever since San Lang had started staying with him, so the rolling wave of nausea took him by surprise and made him stutter in his panic. "Uh, I... I need to..." he mumbled before running out of the hut, violently emptying the contents of his stomach next to it.
It felt horrible, as if his body had turned itself inside out. Tears were streaming down his as he retched again. With every convulsion of his body, he could almost feel the fetus suck more life from him and transform it into malicious spiritual powers. Oh, how he hated all this, Xie Lian thought madly, blinking away the tears of pain from his eyes. It was the last stretch, but why couldn't this just be over yet?
"Gege?"
Xie Lian wanted to slump to the ground and never get up again. He felt humiliated that San Lang had to witness him like this: weak, wrecked, disgusting. He didn't even know why San Lang’s opinion mattered so much to him in the first place.
"San Lang," he rasped, trying to gasp for breath. "I'm fine, I'm good." He lifted his gaze to meet San Lang's beautiful eyes and was surprised to find the youth looking at him with a deeply concerned expression. His scent had soured and turned ashen. "You don't need to worry about me."
"How can you say that?" San Lang croaked, as if he found it hard to watch Xie Lian's suffering. He must be disgusted, Xie Lian thought absent-mindedly, trying to gather his wits after the rolling and coiling storm of sickness inside him slowly ended.
"Can you..." Xie Lian mumbled hoarsely, "...water?"
"Of course," San Lang said immediately and walked away to retrieve a leather flask with urgent, heavy steps.
It took them a few moments to get back inside. By the smell of it, the food was badly burned. It was a wonder the hut itself hadn't caught fire. Small mercies, Xie Lian thought as he extinguished the fire and slumped down next to the table, leaning weakly against the wall. He didn't even remember when he had felt this horrible, like he couldn't move a limb, not even blink or breathe.
He mentally counted the days down to the ceremony. Abortion. Only a few to go. He could do this, he had suffered through many things already. What was an abortion even, compared to all his previous sufferings? A blessing in disguise!
"Gege. Is there anything I can do for you?"
San Lang’s voice shook him out of his spiraling thoughts. He shook his head, hair falling down in an unkempt manner to cover his face. "No,” he snapped, more forcefully than he even intended, blanching inwardly immediately after.
He needed to tell San Lang, except...
No, that wasn’t quite true. San Lang surely knew, but they just didn’t talk about it because the whole idea made Xie Lian want to crawl under the earth and decay away.
Sighing, he continued. “I think... San Lang might have guessed it already but I'm pregnant." He choked out the words, almost suffocating on the raw feeling of disgust that engulfed him. He slowly peeked at the alpha from behind the curtain of his hair.
San Lang looked mad, like he was going to explode from rage. "Gege," he whispered, voice rough and hard.
"It's nothing," Xie Lian sighed. "Nothing to be done about it. Except..."
"The ceremony?" San Lang's words came out jarred.
"En." Suddenly he felt so, so angry. "I want... No. I want the baby gone. And then I want, I want…” I want him to suffer. “But I can't..." His mouth snapped shut and he refused to say anything else. It was unclear if he was even talking about the baby or the father, but for some reason it seemed that San Lang understood.
Xie Lian wilted. He had already said too much, showed weakness. It was exactly these kinds of things that tended to get him ridiculed and laughed at. Stupid, stupid Xie Lian. He hid his face behind his hair again, unable to face San Lang and the pity he was sure to find on his face.
“I’m sorry for being forward, gege,” San Lang said slowly, as if thinking about his words very carefully. “Can you tell me who the alpha is?”
Xie Lian froze and his breath hitched audibly. Why did San Lang want to know? It had nothing to do with the youth after all. No, it was all Xie Lian’s problem. “It doesn’t matter,” he said stiffly, shifting his body to find a more comfortable position. “No one important.”
San Lang nodded, and when Xie Lian dared a peek, a displeased, furious frown passed his young face so quickly that Xie Lian wasn’t sure if he imagined the whole thing.
“Of course, gege. Forgive this one for asking.”
Xie Lian forced a fake smile on his face. “Don’t worry about it. I still have time to... solve this issue.” Feng Xin and Mu Qing's faces flashed through his mind, even though he did his best to suppress any thought of his two former friends after their visit. He would think about it later.
After the abortion.
They fell into a silence. Xie Lian could feel the spiritual powers of the fetus thrumming inside, as if mocking and taunting him. Outside, the night fell, cicadas chirping their maddening songs. Fireflies twinkled outside the window and Xie Lian let his attention wander.
"Gege." San Lang finally broke the silence with a contemplative voice, shuffling closer to the table. "Would you mind if I lit an incense stick here?"
"Incense?" Xie Lian's eyes shot wide open. He didn't understand—
"Mmhm," San Lang agreed. "Gege didn't like the painting, but the incense—it was nice, wasn't it?"
Xie Lian thought about it for a bit, searching his heart for the right answer. And yes, he couldn't deny it. After the initial shock and the subsequent moment of despair, the gesture of worship had been as lovely as it had been devastating and heart-shattering. "Yes," he admitted slowly. "The incense was nice."
Incense for a god. Xie Lian felt dizzy.
He didn’t know what San Lang knew and what he didn’t, had no idea what the youth truly meant by the act of lighting an incense stick at his hut. He obviously knew that Xie Lian was the Crown Prince of Xianle, having painted him in his God-Pleasing Martial Warrior costume.
As for the rest of Xie Lian’s life? He had no idea and even less will to disclose the horrors of it.
San Lang smiled, absolutely refusing to make a big deal out of his request, like it was something ordinary for him to sit next to former gods and light incense for deities.
"Well then, gege. Let me." He was pure utter nonchalance, but the way he fell silent immediately after made Xie Lian wonder if he was overcome by a wave of emotion after all. His scent gave it away as well, pheromones thick with a mix of emotions, something undecipherable that normally wasn’t there.
Xie Lian coughed. He didn't quite know what to do or how to be in his own skin, forced to watch San Lang light a solitary incense stick at that makeshift altar once more. Something in him screamed with terror and joy alike.
“We should sleep,” he muttered, unable to watch anymore.
“Of course, gege,” San Land noted and bowed his head slightly in front of the burning incense.
The scent wafted everywhere in the hut, lulling Xie Lian into a state of deep calmness. He laid down on the straw mat, not waiting for San Lang to join him. Removing his boots, he turned to face San Lang, only to find the young alpha staring at him with a serious expression on his face.
Or, rather, at his ankle. He had unconsciously bared the cursed shackle of bad luck Jun Wu had so kindly gifted him.
Xie Lian turned his head away in shame and covered the ugly black mark with his robe immediately. Why had he begged for it anyway? What had he been thinking, wishing for nothing but bad luck for himself?
So, so stupid.
“Let’s sleep,” noted San Lang curtly, and Xie Lian couldn’t have agreed more.
The next day passed by in a happier mood. Xie Lian had counted his coin, and come to the conclusion that he finally had enough—and not a day too soon. In fact, there was even some extra.
“San Lang,” he called after they had eaten a simple breakfast.
“Yes, gege?” replied San Lang, who was already at work replacing a rotten wallboard.
“I need to go to the village. There might be enough to purchase a new set of robes.” Xie Lian wasn’t vain but the truth was that he wasn’t fond of walking around wearing a woman’s robe either, no matter how much of an omega he was.
“Let me accompany you,” San Lang immediately exclaimed. Xie Lian wanted to say no, because it would’ve been such a hassle for San Lang, but knew by now that it was futile. The young alpha was as stubborn as he was handsome.
But the trip was actually nice now that Xie Lian didn’t direly need to worry about making money. He walked with San Lang, talking about this and that, and for a moment Xie Lian actually even forgot he was carrying that devil of a child.
In the evening, they created silly art from the fallen leaves, gluing them on scrap rolls with their leftover resin from the trees. Xie Lian hung one piece of art on the wall above the table and nodded with a satisfied smile on his face. Leaves and mundane scribblings. Much better than an ancient, no-good god.
Falling asleep next to San Lang, too, felt so natural already. Xie Lian was just about to drift off when he jolted awake, hearing an odd sound in the air. It was as if someone was…
His gasped when he realized the sound was coming from his chest.
“Gege is purring,” said San Lang said with an odd tone.
Xie Lian felt his cheeks go red and embarrassment make a nest in his belly. “I’m sorry,” he choked out miserably. He couldn’t believe it. He had never purred in his life, not even when he was a teen and had his first heat. Never, until now when he was sharing a thin, meager straw mat with this mysterious young alpha in this half-rotten tiny hut, wearing two cursed shackled and pregnant with his tormentor’s child.
What a mess, he thought slightly hysterically. The mess of all messes and yet! Here he was, purring! He felt his face burn.
“Gege, stop,” San Lang exclaimed seriously. It was almost like a command that the omega in him couldn’t resist, and Xie Lian fell slack on the straw mat. San Lang continued with a hushed tone. “I’m happy gege feels safe.” He sounded sincere to the bone.
“Haha, mmhm. Yeah, sorry, so embarrassing, truly, I’m sorry,” Xie Lian babbled unintelligibly, turning around to face San Lang. He could see the youth looking at him solemnly in the dark, and not for the first time, wondered who he really was.
They stared at each other for a while, neither saying anything. Then San Lang moved, sitting up and reaching out for his red tunic. He folded it into a neat pillow and held it out to Xie Lian.
“Take it. A pillow for gege.”
Xie Lian didn’t say anything, just took the offered piece of clothing. But when he smelled San Lang’s scent on the fabric, his nostrils flared. Feeling dazed, he placed the folded piece of clothing where his head was and let his head rest on it. He felt even better now, completely surrounded by San Lang’s scent, and this time when the unconscious rumble started deep in his chest, he didn’t fight it, letting himself just fall asleep like that, feeling safe against all odds.
However, the next day brought an unpleasant surprise.
“Gege,” San Lang said suddenly, after they had spent the morning outside cleaning the yard. “I need to be somewhere. I’m sorry, I won’t be long.” His voice was heavy and his eyes were bright with anger.
“Ah. Alright.” Xie Lian nodded, not knowing what to do. Of course San Lang had somewhere to be rather than with Xie Lian, the dashing young alpha that he was. Maybe it was his beloved? “Don’t worry about me,” he immediately remarked, but could already feel the first twinges of disappointment starting to gnaw at his insides.
But maybe this was for the best, really. Now Xie Lian would be alone for the ceremony; there would be no need to worry about San Lang seeing him suffer. Smiling stiffly at San Lang, he declared with an upbeat tone: “Thanks for all your help, San Lang!”
But San Lang didn’t match his cheer. Instead, he wore a dark, complicated expression on his face. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, gege.”
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Xie Lian said and waved his hand. Despair and desolation were slicing at his belly, chopping him apart, and for a moment he hated himself so much for being so weak. Would he never learn? Just a bit of gentleness and he was already weak on his legs like this.
He turned his back on San Lang. “Thanks for… thanks.”
He didn’t hear a reply and when he turned around, there was no one.
At night he took a leftover box of fire charms and opened it. Taking out one charm, Xie Lian lit it with a quick movement of his trembling fingers, looking at the flickering light with sad eyes and trying to absorb some of its warmth. It reminded him of the times when he had been so lonely and desperate and cold, not knowing what to do with the ruins of his life anymore. It reminded him of that errant ghost fire with its fickle and empty warmth.
An indeed, soon enough the flame was gone completely.
Xie Lian frowned. He took another one of his charms and lit it, watching it burn brightly for a few seconds before fading out. Without realizing it, he had gone through the whole box. With no San Lang and no fire charms left, he felt empty, lonely and deeply terrified again.
Notes:
Blanket treasury??? :D I'm sorry I just couldn't help it. I mean, Hua Cheng has been collecting all these betrothal gifts throughout the centuries, and this is an omegaverse story (just tell me which part of omegaverse isn't a bit silly, shamelessly poking fun at some conventions here)... So... He's been hoarding wonderful, high-quality blankets for Xie Lian. They probably just need to be freshened up a bit -_-;
Also:
HC: Gege, you can tell me who the baby daddy is.
XL: I'm fine, it's alright, I don't want to bother San Lang. (wants revenge)
HC: *head explodes* BOTHER ME! (wants revenge)And why doesn't XL think about MQ and FX during his inner voice sections? Well. He just wants to forget that particular development for now.
Anyway. A CW for the next chapter: abortion (that was already supposed to be in chapter 2/3), just in case you're feeling triggered by it. And after that... Off to Ghost City we go!
My socmed (x/bsky)
Chapter 9
Notes:
Hi all! Thank you each and everyone of you for enjoying this story <3 I thought no one would like whump and yet, here we are.
CW for this chapter
Abortion with that canon-typical violence vibe. Think about premodern times. Blood, medical operations, burial etc.
Also, very vague omega biology. I hope no one is here for some accurate descriptions of how that would work...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
On the auspicious day for the ceremony, Xie Lian made sure to take all his coin with him as he made his way to the village to meet Gentle Healer with Warm Hands. Leaving at the daybreak, Xie Lian could already feel the chill of the approaching winter. He hadn’t visited this area during his time in the mortal realm, but the more he spent time here, the more he liked it. Puqi would be a nice place for him to stay, if he ever had an opportunity of making his home somewhere and enjoying the luxury of not being hunted like a prey.
His insides soured at the thought and he unconsciously reached out to mentally touch the thrumming well of spiritual powers inside him. It was so unfair. Those spiritual powers were drawn from his life blood and yet, he gained nothing from them. A well of power locked inside him.
Xie Lian’s face twisted with barely contained anger at the thought. Such unforgivable irony.
At least it would be over soon.
When he arrived at the healer’s house, Xie Lian didn’t know what to expect.
“I’m here for the ceremony,” he called out and knocked. His legs felt leaden, like someone was forcefully dragging them down. Unease and fear gnawed at his insides even though he tried to calm his racing mind with sutras and other random pieces of cultivation literature that popped into his mind. But nothing seemed to help. He helplessly clutched at his charm of safe delivery, willing the operation to be as swift and painless as possible.
“Ah, Daozhang,” Gentle Healer with Warm Hands said and smiled, coming to meet Xie Lian at the entrance. “Please, come in.”
“Thank you,” Xie Lian said. He looked around. Everything was exactly like the last time. He wrung his hands. “Shall I uh… make the payment first?”
The healer kept smiling her unnervingly calm smile. “If Daozhang wishes so.”
Xie Lian nodded. Better to have the practicalities settled first. “Here.” He offered the pouch filled with coin to the healer. “I hope it’s enough.”
The healer nodded slowly and peeked into the pouch. Her eyes widened. “I think Daozhang has miscalculated. There’s too much.”
Xie Lian frowned. Surely that couldn’t be. “Are you sure?”
The healer nodded. “I’m sure. Please, have these back.” She took a few coins from the pouch and gave them back to Xie Lian. “I’ve seen you around in the village. Selling flowers and charms. Take it. You will need a few days to recover from the ceremony and I don’t want you to strain yourself.” She sounded gentle, worried even.
Xie Lian blinked, and something tugged at his heart. Save for San Lang and the farmer they occasionally met, he had forgotten how it felt to be treated with kindness. “I…” he croaked, unable to finish. “Thank you.” The words finally fell out, one syllable after another like he was vomiting tar. His mouth was dry and his tongue thick, and tears prickled behind his eyelids.
Kindness. There had been too little kindness in his life.
But what did he expect? He had wanted to end the world—he didn’t deserve kindness. Even this was too much, but Xie Lian found himself greedy for every tiny bit regardless, clutching the coins in his hand tightly as a token of compassion.
Gentle Healer with Warm Hands merely hummed, turning her back on him. “This way. I’ve prepared the room in the back.”
Xie Lian followed her, his socks soft against the floor. The healer’s house was surprisingly spacious, or maybe he had just gotten used to the cramped up space of his hut.
“Where’s that young alpha I’ve seen accompanying you at the village?”
Breathing a surprised sigh, Xie Lian frowned. San Lang. Indeed, where was he?
Xie Lian didn’t completely fathom the swirl of tangled emotions inside him, but he did realize that he felt terribly lonely when the youth wasn’t around. The thought made him want to laugh deprecatingly. It had been merely weeks and here he was, pining after a young, handsome alpha, who somehow knew Xie Lian's history.
A young, handsome alpha, who had a beloved on his own, no less. Truly pathetic.
“He had things to attend to,” Xie Lian said aloud and forced a smile on his face.
“I see,” noted the healer and didn’t push the issue. She went to a small shelf and took a small bottle and handed it to Xie Lian. “Take this. It will calm you down. Takes the edge off the pain, too.”
Xie Lian couldn’t help it. His mind whited out for a brief moment as he grasped the bottle hard. Takes the edge off the pain—the phrase kept running in his mind and messing with his head.
In fact, he thought a bit hysterically, why couldn’t he just run away and never come back? Just disappear somewhere and scream himself hoarse until there was nothing left except a cold, unfeeling shell?
He shuddered and, with a placid, stiff smile, took the offered bottle and gulped down the thick, bitter liquid. Even the smell was putrid, and the medicine burned as it traveled down his throat and all the way to his belly, settling there heavily. He couldn’t help but make a face.
The healer nodded approvingly. “Good. Now, just sit there and wait. You should be starting to feel numb and slightly drowsy soon.”
Xie Lian nodded mutely and made his way to a clean straw mat in the corner, sitting down and pulling his legs to his chest. He frowned, realizing that the position didn’t feel so good anymore with his bigger belly. He let his legs fall down uselessly, grasping the fabric of his robes.
He hadn’t wanted to dirty his new robes, so he was still wearing the women’s attire. As ignorant Xie Lian might be of many worldly things these days, he wasn’t as stupid as to think that there wouldn’t be blood. But he didn’t mind. Xie Lian could handle blood. He had handled a lot of blood in his life. Spilled the blood of others, spilled his own blood.
Watched his own blood being spilled until his intestines leaked out.
He blinked and a chill traveled down his spine. He instantly blocked out the memory, locking it away into the deepest depths of his psyche.
“I’m ready,” he announced, suddenly wanting this whole thing to be over with. He felt neither numb nor sleepy, but what did it matter. This was his only chance.
The healer nodded and tied up her long hair into a tight bun, waving for Xie Lian to lie down on another mat atop a wooden bed-like structure on the other end of the room. “Now. I need you to open your robes.”
Xie Lian’s face flushed red with humiliation.
He had always bathed alone because of his status as the Crown Prince, and his cultivation path had prevented him from showing his body to anyone else, either. The only exception had been when he had been hit with the Land of Tender, and even then, that soldier boy had been his only witness. His memories of the whole ordeal were somewhat messy and he would rather forget the rest, too.
But then… an image of Jun Wu flashed in his mind, hurdling him into a pit of pitch-black self-hate.
Xie Lian all but tore open his robes, not caring about his half-dressed state anymore. He absolutely refused to look down at his slightly protruding belly, instead staring at the ceiling and counting the ceiling boards.
Gentle Healer with Warm Hands cleared her throat. “The pants, too.” Then her expression crumbled for a fraction of a moment. “I’m sorry.”
Breathing a sigh, Xie Lian removed the rest of his clothing and lied down once more with a hard look on his face. He felt the chill of the air hit his skin, gooseflesh burgeoning all over it. In his hand he clutched the charm for safe delivery.
The healer nodded. “I’m going to touch you now,” she stated and as soon as Xie Lian nodded, started prodding his stomach, trying to locate the fetus. Xie Lian felt faint, shamed, violated again and again. He didn’t hold it against the healer—of course not. She was doing her job, she was trying to help Xie Lian, but acknowledging the facts didn’t suddenly make him feel better.
The healer kept poking and prodding and grabbing his belly, even putting her ear directly against it, and huffed, looking bemused. “The baby… it’s very strong. I can feel the spiritual powers inside you.”
Xie Lian kept staring at the ceiling boards. They were a lovely shade of brown.
“Daozhang. I know it must be painful for you to speak of it, but I need you to be completely honest with me.” The tone of her voice revealed her worry. “I will not proceed until I know a bit more.”
Xie Lian nodded, suddenly alarmed. “Of course,” he ground out. He was finally starting to feel lightheaded from whatever the healer had given him before.
“Who is the alpha?” The healer immediately frowned at her own words. “I mean, is he a mortal?”
A shuddering sigh left Xie Lian’s lips. “…No.”
“A ghost?”
“…No.” He wanted to throw up.
“… A god, then?”
“Yes.” The word was but a whisper and yet, it made bile rise in Xie Lian’s throat.
Gentle Healer with Warm Hands nodded with a contemplative look on her face. “I see.” Her eyes went vacant, as if she was discussing with some nature spirits about how to proceed. Xie Lian thought that maybe, just maybe, he should have told her before. He had just avoided thinking about the whole thing to the point that he had forgotten to mention that.
It took a while, but the healer finally seemed to have come to a conclusion. “I’m sorry, Daozhang, but the baby is too strong for traditional measures.”
“Meaning?” Xie Lian croaked hoarsely.
“I need to cut it out.”
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts! Help me! Someone help me! It hurts! I want to die. Swords piercing his belly, cutting his flesh, the smell of blood, the panic, the panic—!
“Of course,” Xie Lian said and smiled his wooden smile, eyes unseeing. It was like all the ceiling boards had just vanished, leaving him with nothing to focus his attention on.
“I might need to… tie your down.” The healer looked uncomfortable. “I can give you more of the medicine that will make you feel slightly better, and some numbing ointment, if you’d like.”
“No need, no need,” Xie Lian mumbled. “I have… Ruoye? Can you bind my hands and tie me down? Make sure I can’t move?”
The healer gasped when the silk band shot from Xie Lian’s wrist and swirled around him playfully. But when it understood what was going to happen, it started shaking. Xie Lian soothed it instantly. “It’s alright. Just do this for me, okay? It’ll be over soon.”
Luckily Ruoye listened to him, wrapping itself around Xie Lian’s body and his wrists, tying him up tightly so that he couldn’t move at all. Naked and tied down, memories kept assaulting him in waves, and none of them were good. “Do it,” he barked at Gentle Healer with Warm Hands, closing his eyes.
He heard the healer swallow audibly. “I’ll go get the sterilized knife. Daozhang. Will you… be alright?”
“I will. Do it,” Xie Lian said again, wanting this whole thing to just be over already. He didn’t know how much he could take before his mind would break.
“You’re very brave Daozhang,” Gentle Healer with Warm hands said in a soft voice after getting her sharp, small knife.
“Or just desperate,” Xie Lian answered, bitterness in his voice.
“That, too. Now. This will hurt. A lot. I assume a godling like this isn’t very keen on leaving your womb. Or sever the connection with the placenta, which hosts the alpha god’s spiritual powers.”
Xie Lian blinked despite his mounting panic. “The placenta hosts the alpha’s spiritual powers?”
The healer nodded, prodding his belly again and sterilizing it with bad-smelling liquid. “Yes. And of course, now they’re flowing in the baby, too.”
“What happens when… all this is over?”
Xie Lian wanted to puke at the thought. He was truly killing his own child. What a wretched, miserable thing he had become.
“I will cremate the body and the placenta properly. The remaining spiritual powers of the alpha god will be locked in the ashes until they are properly destroyed.”
Xie Lian exhaled. “So to have the ashes… means that I’m holding a part of the alpha’s powers?”
The healer nodded very, very slowly. “Indeed, young master Daozhang. But just a tiny bit. In addition, should the baby turn into a wrathful spirit, it can be dispersed by destructing the ashes.”
Xie Lian’s mind was running. A fraction of Jun Wu’s powers, sealed within the ashes. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, taking a quaking breath after another. Of course, it was just a tiny bit, nothing compared to the bottomless pool of Jun Wu’s spiritual powers, but maybe, if destroyed at the right moment, the ashes could become Jun Wu’s unexpected weakness.
Maybe, just maybe.
Xie Lian closed his eyes and readied his mind. “Do it.”
What happened next was beyond painful, and Xie Lian found his mind drifting away from his body. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt so fucking much! His flesh was being shredded and ripped apart, sliced and spread, something violently dug up from the depths of his belly, the smell of fresh blood everywhere. In his head he recited sutras, whatever he could think of, but they were all a chaotic mess of words and phrases that made no sense. He could barely hear Gentle Healer with Warm Hands, who was also chanting exorcising spells while operating on Xie Lian, one after another.
It hurt, it hurt, IT HURT!
Xie Lian just wanted to die, but he couldn’t even move because Ruoye was holding him down just as he had requested. Someone was howling, and it took him a moment to realize that it was him. His broken voice was letting out those screams of pain and still, in the midst of his torture, he wanted to laugh madly at himself. Hadn’t he been through worse in his past? Hadn’t he suffered swords through his abdomen multiple times? Slicing his throat? One, two, dozen, hundred?
And yet, here he was, screaming like a weak omega who had never felt pain nor experienced death.
Ridiculous.
He screamed until no sound left his mouth, until his eyes rolled back in his skull from exhaustion, until he couldn’t take it anymore, passing out with his body drenched in cold sweat and tears trickling down his face.
For some reason, the last image on his mind before blackness engulfed him was of San Lang and his smile.
When Xie Lian woke up, he felt like he had been run over by a dozen of horses and carriage, or maybe a hoard of oxen. There were rolling waves of pain centering on his abdomen and there was nothing he could do except to lie there, limp and tired.
Inhaling sharply, he reached out to that pulsing well of spiritual powers inside him, yet found nothing.
It was finally done.
Xie Lian huffed a mad laugh, only to wince at a sharp burst of pain shooting up from his violated belly. It hurt so much.
“Daozhang.” Gentle Healer with Warm Hands appeared at the door and gave him a solemn look. “How are you feeling?”
“Horrible,” croaked Xie Lian, trying to get up but falling down immediately.
The healer nodded and moved to stand next to Xie Lian, putting a hand on his clammy forehead. “It will hurt for a while. I’ve put stitches on the wound, you should stay put for a few days. No walking long distances, although it’s important that you try to walk somewhat. Merely lying down is bad for your recovery and increases the risk of poisonous blood clotting your veins.”
Xie Lian nodded numbly. No walking long distances? Very unfortunate, since he didn’t have any other means of returning to his hut.
“And the… thing?” he asked pathetically and closed his eyes.
The healer looked at him with sad eyes and kept stroking his forehead. “All is well. I was able to remove all pregnancy-related material from your womb. The placenta, too.”
Pregnancy-related material.
“Ah,” Xie Lian said. He felt sick to his bones and his vision swam. “And the spirit?”
Sighing slowly, Gentle Healer with Warm Hands sat next to Xie Lian on his makeshift bed. “I chanted spells of safe passing while I worked, used all my herbs and tinctures. The day was as auspicious as it could be, and young master Daozhang himself recited sutras. We have done everything we could.”
“Mmhm,” Xie Lian sighed wearily. “So, the rest remains to be seen.”
“Yes. The rest remains to be seen. For humans, I know both the rites of safe passing and what makes spirits linger: resentment, deep attachment, unfinished business. But with godlings…” She looked at Xie Lian helplessly.
“I see,” Xie Lian said softly. “Thank you for your hard work. You’ve done everything you could.” He didn’t want the healer to feel bad about anything. It wasn’t her burden to carry. And, if the fetus turned into a Fetus Spirit, Xie Lian would just deal with it then.
It was too early to say what had happened, anyway.
“You mentioned the ashes,” he said, looking at the healer contemplatively.
“Yes,” Gentle Healer with Warm Hands said. “I have everything ready. A proper funeral pyre enhanced with spells and enchantments.” She fell silent and looked away. “I didn’t know if Daozhang wanted to be present, so everything is still… waiting.”
“I see,” Xie Lian murmured, reflecting on the situation at hand and what would be the proper thing to do. The morally right thing. The humane one. He looked into his heart and searched his soul for a correct answer, a hint of something that would tell him what to do. The truth was that he didn’t want to see; he wanted to forget so badly, and yet…
“I will join you.”
Gentle Healer with Warm Hands nodded and smiled at Xie Lian desolately. “I’m sure Daozhang made the right decision.”
Xie Lian hummed. Whether it was the right decision or not, he would know later. “Can you… my robes?”
“Of course. In the meanwhile, try sitting up. From the side, do not crunch your abdominal muscles.”
As the healer went to get his robes, Xie Lian rolled to his side and clumsily got into a sitting position. The healer returned with his clothing and helped him into his robes, offering him support as Xie Lian worked on the sleeves and the belt.
“Here,” the healer gave him her arm. “Use me for support. You will need it.”
Xie Lian was too exhausted and in pain to argue otherwise or pretend that he could walk on his own. Leaning on the healer, he wobbled outside with slow, unsteady steps, each movement of his legs pure torture as his intestines were trying to rearrange themselves. They walked away from the house, very slowly and carefully, until Xie Lian saw a small funeral pyre at the edge of the forest, away from any curious eyes. Anxiety and hopelessness gripped his heart, squeezing it until he thought he might die.
He had truly killed his child.
The realization sank in and, for the first time, Xie Lian felt insurmountable sorrow instead of blinding rage. He blinked and was surprised to find tears in his eyes.
The healer didn’t say anything, only squeezed his forearm encouragingly. “Can you stand on your own for a bit?”
Xie Lian nodded, unable to speak as tears kept streaming down his cheeks. He could taste the salty wetness of then in his mouth.
“Alright. Let me light the pyre, then. It’s good that you’re here. To pay your respects might ease the passing.”
Xie Lian wasn’t oblivious. Of course he knew this was the case. He just hadn’t wanted to think about it, focusing all his energy on hating the thing inside him instead. And now, when it was finally gone, Xie Lian found himself at loss for where to direct all his anger—except Jun Wu, of course.
He breathed a shuddering sigh. Yes. In fact, his hatred and deep, boundless anger towards Jun Wu had only intensified. If he hadn’t been used like that, there wouldn’t have been a need to destroy a life!
He couldn’t help it, then: he started screaming. Staring at the sky, he screamed and screamed and screamed, until he had nothing inside him anymore. Clenching his fists and gritting his teeth, Xie Lian watched as the funeral pyre went up in flames. The healer returned to his side, gently supporting him once more. He hadn’t even noticed that he was swaying, dead focused on the flames.
“How do we get the ashes?” he rasped.
“An organic spell. Daozhang, don’t worry about it. Let me handle everything. How about you rest here for the night? I’ll have everything ready by tomorrow morning.”
Truthfully, Xie Lian really just wanted to go home to his no-home of a hut, be alone and grieve and rage and mourn. But he also understood the realities. He needed the ashes, and there was simply no way he would be able to make a return trip tomorrow. Just walking these few dozen meters had left him winded and crippled with the pain in his belly.
“Alright,” he said dejectedly. There was nothing he could do other than to accept his fate.
The morning came, and Xie Lian was in even worse pain than the day before. It flowed in his veins, oozed from his pores, made him dizzy and unfocused.
But then Gentle Healer with Warm Hands returned, giving him a small urn which Xie Lian hid in the sleeves of his robe.
The ashes. Jun Wu’s potential weakness.
“Thank you,” Xie Lian said sincerely and clasped the healer’s hands. “Thank you for everything.”
Gentle Healer with Warm Hands smiled at him gently. “Daozhang. You’re a good person. Remember that. I wish you well.”
And with those words, Xie Lian started his hellish trip back to his hut.
Every step hurt. Every movement of his body felt like he was being stabbed with a hundred swords all over again and yet he walked on, dragged his legs, body heavy and sweaty and maimed. He barely paid attention to his surroundings, let alone to the small silver butterfly that suddenly fluttered to him and circled closer, finally finding a good spot on his slumped shoulder to rest its wings.
At some point he looked down and saw blood on his robes. His wound had opened, despite the stitches, and he was bleeding. Letting out a mad, unhinged giggle, Xie Lian trudged on, one agonizing step after another, his body nothing but a container filled with soul-searing pain.
“Little butterfly,” he croaked. The butterfly fluttered its wings. “You don’t think you could change into a step-litter? Or a bird that would carry me back?” He started laughing. Maybe he had finally gone mad, asking a butterfly for a ride!
But it just hurt so fucking much!
Slumping down on the ground, Xie Lian huffed and puffed, taking in some air and trying to regulate his breathing. He could do this. He had done things before. Pain was nothing new to him. He closed his eyes for a bit, only to wake up much later because of an odd sound.
“Yi yu xi! Yi yu xi!”
Xie Lian’s eyes went round as saucers at the sight that greeted him in a blink of a time. Golden skeletons jogging his way with a gorgeous, intricate step-litter.
He let out a hysterical giggle. “Butterfly?” he asked hesitantly, but there was no butterfly around anymore.
“Young Master?” one of the skeletons asked when they reached him.
“Your Highness?” inquired another. They all cackled and their bones clattered. Xie Lian wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or if he had been transported to another, ghastly reality.
“Yes,” he replied warily.
“Our master says, step in!”
“Your master?” Xie Lian asked, frowning. “Who is your master?”
Who would want to help him? Who had heard his call?
“Our master is our master. Chengzhu, of course!”
“City Lord!”
The skeletons were so excited, yet made no sense. Xie Lian merely stared at the odd sight with wide eyes, unable to parse the words together.
“Step in, step in, Daozhang,” said one of the skeletons. “We’ll take you where you want to go!”
“Orders, orders. Strict orders,” noted another one and the whole bunch nodded eagerly, jawbones meeting collarbones and clinking audibly.
Xie Lian blinked. He knew he should refuse. He should say no—he had no idea who these skeletons were or what they wanted. He didn’t want any further obligations to tie him down, didn’t want to be in anyone’s debt.
But he was so exhausted, bleeding and in such terrible pain.
“Alright,” he noted tiredly, but couldn’t even get up. One of the skeletons immediately hopped to his side and lifted him up, carrying him to the step-litter and gently propping him up to rest comfortably inside.
“Now. Where to, Daozhang?”
Xie Lian opened his mouth and almost blurted ‘Ghost City’, only to snap his mouth shut immediately. What was he thinking? “The small, dilapidated hut on the other side of the fields,” he answered instead.
The skeletons clinked and clanked, rattled and clattered and Xie Lian had barely even breathed when they were already traveling.
Yi yu xi! Yi yu xi!
The chant of the skeletons rang in the air energetically and Xie Lian was too tired to analyze the situation further. Seated comfortably in that spectacular step-litter, for once he let himself feel cherished and pampered.
Notes:
Ok ok! Apologies! Xie Lian REALLY was supposed to end up in Ghost City already, but I just felt he also needed to properly deal with this particular trauma in order to move on.
Further ramblings
And let's remember that at this point, he thinks Jun Wu is just Jun Wu, but he actually now has a part of BWX's "ashes" with him... so... (yeah, this is the way things work in this omegaverse ;)
The skeletons? I've read the books but I love the "yi yu xi" sound in the fan translations so I kept it :D Also, WHERE IS HUA CHENG? What could be happening to keep him away from XL? T_T
Finally, the 2nd day after a C-section is pure torture. Xie Lian feels it in his bones. In the 100 Swords arc he mentions that he might not be able to feel pain ever again, but here the pain is, in fact, kind of caused by the same source (JW/BWX), so he feels is as intensely. Poor him. I love him T_T
Finally, let's have a pampering poll! How should Hua Cheng pamper Xie Lian at Ghost City? I promise he'll get there in the next chapter!
(Also, summer vacation is here and I'm going to be away from my laptop for a bit as well, so if the next one takes a bit longer, this is the reason!)
My socmed (x/bsky)
Chapter 10
Notes:
A surprise update! I went through my snippets file and was surprised to find that I had over a half of this chapter written already. Haha. So here we go.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hua Cheng was crawling in a cramped, dark, narrow tunnel that He Xuan was painstakingly digging into the ground below the Heavenly Capital with his newly acquired Earth Master shovel, cursing all the while. He had ended up there as a result of a series of unfortunate events that couldn’t be avoided or shrugged off, but which had nonetheless kept him away from his beloved.
First, there had been yet another attack on Ghost City by the Green Ghost and his idiot lackeys. While the ambush itself hadn’t been anything particularly dangerous or devastating, it had still taken him a day to deal with the aftermath and reconstruct the destroyed areas that had been hit before he had arrived at the scene and obliterated the intruders.
While he had yearned to be with Xie Lian at all times, he was the City Lord of Ghost City. With power came responsibilities.
Hua Cheng wasn’t known to be kind but he was unwavering in his dedication to make sure his city stayed safely under his rule, and that the ghosts that lived there could do so in peace and not go pestering the living. Of course, he would gladly send the bunch to ravage the Heavens, he thought, hands and knees dirty with the filth of the godly realm as he crawled onward in the tunnel.
However, it wasn’t merely about protecting the denizens of his city. It was also about sending a signal that Hua Cheng himself was there and ready to defend his city. There was always someone greedy and stupid enough to try to take over his position as the ruler, and he liked to keep them all on their toes.
As if there was a possibility that someone could take the city from him. Over his dead body, but since he was dead already, that just wouldn't happen.
The thing was, Hua Cheng had built the city as much for Xie Lian as for the ghosts. The perfect place for his beloved omega to live his life safely, securely, happily. He had armories, treasuries, rare blankets waiting for Xie Lian. Perfectly tailored robes, handmade pillows, rare swords and weapons to gift to his beloved. There were baths, enjoyment venues and temples. Lantern shows, food stalls, magical forests just outside the city. A flower garden with thousands of flowers blooming all year long.
Everything was ready for Xie Lian and had been for years; centuries, even. And even if his god didn’t arrive now, Hua Cheng wouldn’t give up. He would continue to build and prepare, remodel and modernize. He would wait, forever if need be. What was an eternity for a ghost whose heart and soul was tied to existence by that bottomless devotion alone?
However, before he could make his way back to Xie Lian after that business with the city, He Xuan had unexpectedly contacted him. It seemed that an opportunity had raised to smuggle Hua Cheng into the Heavenly Capital as an errand boy from Lord Rainmaster’s lands, delivering goods and produce together with “Earth Master Ming Yi”—He Xuan, in other words.
“Use a skin. The blander the better,” He Xuan had instructed gruffly.
Hua Cheng didn’t know how He Xuan had made this happen and he wasn’t particularly interested in finding out. He Xuan was ultimately only helping him out because of his debts to Hua Cheng, and the less he knew about what the other Supreme had going on with the Heavenly Realm, the better. Supremes didn’t feel the need to meddle with each other’s businesses.
But, as a consequence, instead of being in Puqi with Xie Lian and protecting him, here he was, looking like an utterly ordinary human farm boy down to the grime on his face, crawling under the palaces of the Heavenly Capital in the hopes of gathering much needed information.
Burning with barely contained rage, Hua Cheng wanted nothing more than to torch that wicked realm to ashes and obliterate all the ignorant gods with it. After all, they had allowed Xie Lian to be treated horribly, trampled and ridiculed and made fun of, forced to leave the Heavens and taunted even afterwards, so in his eyes they were all culprits. Each and every one of them; turning their heads away, pretending not to know anything, closing their eyes from the blatant abuse of power. Alphas, betas and omegas alike, nothing but pieces of trash.
Hua Cheng had seen it all when he suddenly ascended after saving all those people in Kiln, looking like he had been through hell with his gaping empty eye socket bloody and torn. He had seen the gods in all their pretentious glory, had witnessed all the hateful, indignant looks they had cast on him as a newcomer, and had heard those disdainful, horrified whispers around him.
They were all more interested in their wealth and power than actually doing any good, unlike his god, whose only dream had ever been to help the common people. Needless to say, Hua Cheng despised the gods. He would crush them and make sure their souls would never reincarnate. Rotten fucks, all of them. Foul souls under all that glimmer, so eager to bully and crush those who had no means of fighting back.
Thinking back to his brief stint in the Heavens, Hua Cheng forced his skin to move forward.
He had looked for Xie Lian, then. A brief moment to see if his beloved was there. But since he hadn’t seen his one true god, Hua Cheng had jumped down and rejected his own hypocritical godhood, descending to the pits of Kiln again to devour the rest of the ghosts and their power, finally emerging as a new Supreme with all the power and might in the world to protect Xie Lian with.
And yet, he had failed. What a cruel joke.
Crawling in that narrow tunnel, promptly faced with He Xuan’s ass—or rather, former Ming Yi’s—Hua Cheng started to doubt himself, those all-too-familiar threads of self-hate spilling from the darkest pits of his soul to his empty veins and coursing through his body, making it burn and itch uncomfortably.
Had Xie Lian been in the Heavens, after all? Was this one more sin to his long list of crimes of not being able to protect his beloved omega? His stomach churned uncomfortably at the thought.
There were things he still hadn’t parsed together. He didn’t know if Xie Lian had been violated only once, resulting in the pregnancy, or if the abuse had been continuing longer. He didn’t know the culprit, either.
His revenge would be bloody and just, as soon as he figured out what had really happened. All He Xuan had been able to tell was that all the martial gods were looking for Xie Lian under the orders of the Emperor himself.
The Heavenly Emperor. Jun Wu. Something just didn’t add up. Hua Cheng frowned as he crept onward. Luckily he had made this skin smaller than his San Lang skin.
“Can’t you dig a tunnel that’s slightly bigger?” he huffed with annoyance.
“Ming Yi’s” wiggling butt stopped. “This shovel is absolute crap. I have no idea why someone would want to use something this useless as a spiritual device.”
“Well. No wonder they’re no longer in this world. Stupidity comes with a price.”
He Xuan snorted and started digging again, and the two of them snuck deeper into the underground of the Capital, stopping every once in a while under palaces to listen to the daily talks of the gods. Utterly meaningless chitter chatter, most of it. If he wasn’t dead already, Hua Cheng thought he would die from boredom. Luckily there were some juicy gossips here and there, too, that he filed away to use as a weapon when the timing was right.
And yet, considering that many gods were supposed to be looking for Xie Lian, there was relatively little talk about him.
Hua Cheng exhaled. They had spent a small eternity in that tunnel already, at least a day, just crawling around and listening to all that godly shit. He was growing increasingly annoyed, almost ready to just give up despite the opportunity He Xuan had created for him.
Xie Lian was waiting, after all. It was the week of the abortion, and even though Xie Lian hadn’t disclosed the exact date, Hua Cheng wanted to scream, dead scared that he would miss it.
Miss it.
Unforgivable. He knew that Xie Lian would try to bear it alone, and the thought alone rose some ugly memories in him. Thus, despite his vicious, tenacious nature, he was ready to give up for now—until he heard a familiar voice drift to his ears from above.
“Do you really trust him to be there as he promised? Let’s just go and drag his ass back up here now.”
Hua Cheng felt his hackles rise. That fucker, Mu Qing. Oh he wanted so much to punch that smug face and maybe run him through with Eming—just for the fun of it.
“The fuck I know. Now leave me the alone and go away, asshole.” That was Feng Xin, obviously.
“But Jun Wu said—”
“I don’t care what he said. Hell, I have no idea what really going on in here, but it’s His Highness! His Highness, Mu Qing! When has he ever lied to you?”
A silence.
“Thought so. So, if he said he was raped, then he was raped. Why are you like this? Give him even a chance to get rid of the bloody thing before thinking any further.”
“I still don’t believe the Emperor could do something like that. Feng Xin, we’re talking about Jun Wu! Ever since day one, he’s been utterly besotted with the Crown Prince. Just think about it and think about it real good. Jun Wu has always turned a blind eye on His Highness’ blunderings and affairs. No one else would’ve been given that much freedom.”
“He also gave His Highness his cursed shackles, mind you.”
“Well. His Highness overstepped. Broke too many rules from big to small. You remember yourself, revealing himself to that ugly no-good brat, speaking to him directly—and that was just the icing on the cake. Let’s not even speak of the civil war. So, it was all his own doing.”
Under the palace, Hua Cheng breathed hard, his fists clenching. A time would come when he would see eye to eye with Mu Qing.
He couldn’t wait.
“And everything else? Did you know what was going on? That he was held here in captivity and only sent for Jun Wu for his ruts? Was that deserved, too?”
“The heck I know. His Highness is an omega, the Emperor is an alpha. Maybe he enjoyed it?”
“He broke his wows, Mu Qing! Surely you realize he wouldn’t have done that just because he suddenly thought sex seemed fun? So are you really implying that he deserved to be violated all these years? Centuries? Some sordid form of a punishment? You really disgust me, Mu Qing!”
“But—”
“No buts. I’m going to go and see His Highness when promised. Whether or not he’ll be there shall remain to be seen.”
“And if he’s not?”
“Well. I guess I’ll think about that then.”
“And if he is? Will you bring him here?”
“Well, I’ll think about that then, too.”
A noisy huff. “Fine. Have it your way. But if you return with empty hands, I will tell the Emperor that His Highness has been spotted in Puqi. And with you know who. The nightmare of the Heavens.”
“And if you do, make sure you will never speak to me again because I cannot stand your face nor your fucking actions. I hope you’re happy with your untainted godhood, then. And as for Crimson Rain Sought Flower...”
Hua Cheng didn’t feel like listening to the conversation any longer.
He felt sick to his marrow.
Tugging at He Xuan’s leg as a sign that they should leave, he didn’t even have the words for the whirlwind of ugliness that was rising inside him, gaining ground, feeding on his spiritual powers and threatening to burst from the seams of this useless skin.
Jun Wu.
Jun Wu had raped Xie Lian.
The Heavenly Emperor had raped Hua Cheng’s chosen omega, his only god, for centuries.
As soon as they were out of the tunnel, Hua Cheng rolled his dice and disappeared without saying anything else to He Xuan.
He found himself in Qiandeng Temple, the place he had built for Xie Lian in the hopes of being able to properly worship him as a god there one day. Transforming into his true form and transporting his body directly to the altar that was empty save for one blooming flower, he banged it with his fists and screamed in terrible anger and agony.
He would never forgive the gods for this.
Jun Fucking Wu.
Still burning with unspeakable mental torment, Hua Cheng also realized he needed to start planning his revenge. Even though he was confident in his skills and powers, to strike down the Heavenly Emperor himself would also require a bit of luck.
What a coincidence that his luck was also excellent, he thought with a malicious glint in his eyes.
Xie Lian squirmed on his new straw mat. Before his departure, San Lang had insisted that his old, worn out mat should be replaced with a better one; a thicker, clean one with a feel of softness to it. Distinctively something that omegas would surely love.
Well. It wasn’t clean anymore.
Despite getting a lift from the lovely, eerie skeletons, the stiches on Xie Lian’s lower belly had ruptured due to the strain from walking. The gaping wound that had been cut through layers of skin and muscle kept oozing blood and whatever else, and Xie Lian was too tired to do anything about it. The actual ashes of the fetus and placenta were now in a pickle jar in the corner of his hut, a sight that taunted him as he kept drifting in and out of consciousness. The pain was immense, but during his moments of lucidity, Xie Lian kept reminding himself that he had been through worse. This was a piece of bun!
San Lang also tried to come to visit him.
Xie Lian heard him knock on the door and frantically call his name, but Xie Lian refused to let him in.
“Gege!” he heard the youth call out, knocking and banging on the door. But even in all his pain, Xie Lian felt humiliated to the bone at the thought that the charming alpha would have to see him like this: bloody and broken, and smelling of sweat and pus and tears and lying in a puddle of his own blood.
“Go away!” he screamed desperately, wheezing from the strain. “’Stay away!”
He didn’t want to see anyone, didn’t want to talk to anyone. He just wanted to be left alone to suffer.
Before long, San Lang’s worried shouts quieted and Xie Lian heard footsteps getting further and further away from his hut. It was all for the best, he told himself.
And yet, it felt like his heart was bleeding as profusely as his body at the thought that he would never see San Lang again.
A few days passed and Xie Lian slowly started to get better. The wound started to heal, as did the muscles underneath, although the area around it kept aching and itching, his whole lower belly numb to touch.
One morning, he finally got up and stepped out of the hut with wobbly steps for the first time in days. Wearing just his pants, he scrambled to the river to wash up. Luckily he had that set of new robes because his old ones were ruined.
Everything hurt so much and he felt like he had been repeatedly smacked against a mountain. But at least he was standing on his two solid feet again.
Letting his body soak in the freezing water, Xie Lian briefly thought about what to do next. He desperately needed to hide. Feng Xin’s warnings hadn’t been ringing on deaf ears—in fact, Xie Lian took them with utmost seriousness. He truly needed to get going now that he knew Jun Wu was looking for him.
None of the gods would be able to cover his tracks for long, and it wasn’t as if anyone other than Feng Xin would even be willing to do that. He wasn’t even so sure about Mu Qing. His words had hurt Xie Lian more than he cared to admit, but this was not the time or place to mull over old disappointments.
He didn’t have much time, after all. Only a few days.
The more he thought about it, the clearer it became in his mind: his next destination couldn’t be anywhere else than Ghost City, no matter how impossible it would be to reach it from the mortal realm. For some reason San Lang had been adamant that Ghost City would be safe for him, despite the fact that its ruler, Crimson Rain Sought Flower, was a Supreme Ghost King with a ruthless reputation.
In addition, hee also couldn’t be carrying that pickle jar around with him like that, so he needed to find someone in the Ghost Realm to forge the fetus’ ashes into something that he could have with him at all times. Maybe a ring that he could securely wear on a necklace. The thought made him a bit nauseous, but the healer’s words rang in his ears. A part of the alpha’s spiritual powers were confined within those ashes, and to destroy them could harm the alpha.
Xie Lian shivered, and not only from the cold water. For now, Jun Wu was complete, but if the ashes were destroyed, crushed at the right moment, it could weaken the Heavenly Emperor. Maybe even enough for Xie Lian to deal a critical blow, despite his shackles and the fact that he was currently an immortal mortal.
Or maybe not, but he refused to think of that as an option, because what would be the point of his life, then? Nothing, absolutely nothing. If only he could die, but he couldn’t even do that.
He sighed and got out of the water, trembling with cold. He really didn’t want to see wound on his belly but couldn’t refuse peeking at it, either, immediately regretting the action. The skin looked absolutely hideous, covered in black and blue bruises, some of them already turning yellow. The wound itself was a nasty ragged cut that would surely scar—or maybe not. Xie Lian bore no scars from his earlier mutilations, after all.
Well. If one didn’t count the mental ones, but those couldn’t be seen so he could keep pretending they didn’t exist.
Xie Lian nodded to himself. He could handle this. He was good at handling all sorts of things: Pain. Torment. Despair. Sadness. Hollowness. Rage. Bitterness. Being abandoned. Being used. Being despised.
He was exemplary good at handling things.
He had just gotten dressed when a silver butterfly emerged from thin air and fluttered towards him. Xie Lian smiled. “Hey. Is it you again?” The butterfly, of course, didn’t say anything, but perched itself on top of Xie Lian’s bare shoulder once more.
“Oh, you want a ride?” Xie Lian huffed in amusement. “Too tired to fly? It’s okay. I was just leaving.”
He started walking towards his hut in his new, clean robes. His hair a wet mess but he was feeling a million times better than before his impromptu bath. But when he arrived, he saw something on the porch that he was sure hadn’t been there before. Or maybe he had just been so disgusted by the state of himself that he had utterly missed the odd item placed there for him to find.
He took a step forward and blinked. It was an intricate dice shaker.
Frowning, Xie Lian took the item in his hands and inspected it. It was silver through and through, worth a small fortune and beautifully decorated with maple leaf and butterfly carvings. Xie Lian sighed in awe. Absolutely stunning. The last time he had seen something this wonderful was when he had still lived in the Grand Palace of Xianle.
Then something else caught his attention, too.
A note.
He took the small, folded piece of paper that had fluttered on the porch close to where the dice shaker had been and opened it—
—only to gape, thoroughly baffled.
He couldn’t read anything that was scribbled on that piece of paper. There had definitely been an intent behind the words. He could sense it but, for the life of him, couldn’t make sense of it in written form. Who would write like this, he asked himself, shaking his head. Truly the craft of the devil!
With the last confused huff, Xie Lian opened the large bell-shaped lid of the dice shaker and looked inside. There were a pair of dice that looked like very ordinary dice. He blinked. Curious. What was he supposed to do with them? Play games by himself because there was no one to play games with?
Well, maybe it was a good thing, because all Xie Lian could roll was snake’s eyes. During his confinement in the Heavenly Capital, he had rolled dice every once in a while to amuse himself. The aim of the game had been to guess if he could roll something other than two ones, but all these years and his luck had been unchangeable. Snake’s eyes, time and time again.
His second cursed shackle truly was the shackle of misfortune and bad luck.
But maybe he could try again. Just this once, since someone had gifted him this gorgeous set to play with. Sitting on the wide, wooden stairs that San Lang had repaired, Xie Lian closed his eyes.
Sixes! Sixes! Anything other than ones!
He closed the lid and jiggled the shaker, a tiny cling clang sounding from inside the shaker. He opened his eyes and gave a small laugh before opening the lid again.
His eyes immediately went wide.
Two sixes.
No way!
Before he could even gasp, everything turned dark as the reality itself around his warped and shifted, his body being snatched away from the safety of his hut and thrown into something other. It was just a blink of a time, but when Xie Lian was finally able to open his eyes, he found himself admiring a sight he had never seen: Magnificent buildings with detailed architectural details lining the streets. Lanterns hanging on top of his head, illuminating the view. Sounds and smells that were both familiar and unfamiliar, the scents of alphas and omegas mixing together with something exotic and deathly.
The energetic hustle and bustle around him, high-pitched and never-ending, truly a pandemonium!
“Hey! Whatcha standing there? Wanna get eaten?”
Xie Lian blinked and turned to face a person with a human body with a long neck and a head with six eyes. Next to him, a pig-shaped form nodded approvingly. “Eaten, eaten,” he bellowed. Then he frowned as if remembering something and promptly smacked the long-necked oddity. “Fucker. We don’t eat thing like this here. City Lord’s orders.”
The two cast him a last, scathing glance and all but floated away.
It hit Xie Lian, then.
Ghost City.
For some reason, he had rolled two sixes and was now in Ghost City.
Notes:
The next chapter: Where would they ever meet other than the Gambler's Den? ;) Please look forward to the reunion <3
Also sorry! Mu Qing’s a bit of an asshole here. At least for the time being.
Anyway, I'll be visiting friends for the next week or two, so pretty much no writing unless I get something done during my train/car rides. A good time to think about how I can include ghost aunties in the story! :D
I could also use the time to plan my other hualian fics, I just kind of remembered that I have another ongoing fic and then THREE on the planning stage: A wulian fic (I love wulian!), a different third meeting canon divergence fuckfest and a coffee shop modern AU omegaverse thingy. Someone gift me more hours to my days?
Chapter Text
Ghost City.
Xie Lian blinked.
So, this was the legendary Ghost City, a residence for all sorts of ghosts and spirits, ruled by the notorious Crimson Rain Sought Flower? The place which San Lang had noted would be the perfect hiding place for him as he continued to run away from Jun Wu and all the other Heavenly Officials.
He shook his head, trying to clear away the haze that had momentarily engulfed his mind during the transportation.
Faced with this new, unknown world, Xie Lian found himself really missing San Lang and his confidence. It was curious how it had merely been days without him but nonetheless, it felt like ages! Feeling a small pang of regret at how he had pushed San Lang away so angrily, Xie Lian tried steeling his heart, only to find it oddly difficult. Staring vaguely ahead, he mentally went over the chat he had had with San Lang back when everything had still been fine between them.
According to the young alpha, Ghost City was singlehandedly ruled by Hua Cheng, a Supreme-level Ghost King with quite the reputation. Xie Lian frowned, deep in his thought. Despite Hua Cheng being the most fearsome and powerful of all ghosts, he didn’t really know anything about him. That didn’t mean much, though, because he didn’t really know much of the Ghost Realm and the things he knew he desperately wished to forget.
An image of a half-laughing, half-crying mask flashed through his mind and he shuddered at the vividness of the memory, feeling a hollow pain all over his body: on his belly, in his belly, his throat, his arms, his legs. He suddenly felt a bit nauseous.
However, the image was soon replaced with that of a tall, black-glad ghost warrior with a smiling mask. Xie Lian felt a different sort of anguish grip his heart tightly at the thought of Wuming, the ghost who had sacrificed himself for Xie Lian just like that: without any words, without hesitation, his devotion never wavering.
Maybe he had truly been his last believer, Xie Lian thought, feeling an insurmountable amount of sadness all of a sudden. What would it feel like to… meet Wuming again? What would Xie Lian say? Could Wuming ever forgive him for being so selfish and angry; a hateful person through and through?
But Wuming was gone, dispersed, never to return.
Dragging his thoughts back to the present from the pitch black depths of his memories, Xie Lian’s mind returned to Hua Cheng once more. Even though many of the missions of the Heavenly Officials tended to be related to ghostly matters and how to keep them from pestering the living, Xie Lian had never heard anyone even mention Crimson Rain Sought Flower. It was true that he had been locked away for much of his “stay” in the Heavenly Capital, but Xie Lian still found it odd. Surely, with a character as formidable as Hua Cheng was supposed to be, he was bound to have heard something.
And yet, there had been nothing. It was almost as if the Heavens feared him to the degree that they pretended he didn’t even exist, which itself was an absurd idea. What had Hua Cheng done to gain such a reputation, and why? What did he look like, how did he sound like? How utterly terrifying was he, even, to cause such a reaction?
Ruoye vibrated on his arm with unease and Xie Lian patted it gently to calm it down. Surely everything was alright. San Lang had said so, after all.
When taking in his surroundings once more, Xie Lian found himself actually surprised. The street he was currently at was bustling with ghosts of different shapes and sizes, human and animal spirits existing side-by-side with other types of demons—at least by the look of it. The bunch of them were chattering, hollering and snickering with various degrees of loudness and boisterousness, and Xie Lian’s eyes widened in wonder.
He had never thought that death could look so… joyous. Carnivalistic. Looking at the ghosts around him, Xie Lian thought for the first time that what he witnessed was indeed a ritualistic celebration of life instead of a melancholic lament of death. Despite being brash and cussing and prone to violence, the ghosts seemed to love their new existence, bound to life in ways incomprehensible to the living or gods.
Scents overtook his senses, too, those of alphas and omegas mixing together in a heady cocktail sprinkled with various degrees of ghost qi. He briefly wondered what made alphas and omegas retain their scents post-death, but remembered then what his Guoshi had taught him: when humans ascend, they are still human. When they fall, they are still human. Maybe it was only natural that they had kept their scents, too.
He turned his attention on the dice he was still clutching in his hands. Frowning, he brought them closer to his face and inspected them more carefully. They looked like an ordinary set of dice, nothing special about them except for the fine quality, perhaps. Absolutely nothing explained how he had ended up here just by throwing them.
He sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples lightly to get his mind running again.
Dice.
A dice shaker.
Fine quality.
Maybe they weren’t only a means of transportation and a spiritual item that hosted a spell, but also a hint?
Taking a few tentative steps forward to test his slightly woozy legs, Xie Lian let his thoughts drift. As he walked on the streets, staring at the colorful food stalls with their even more colorful owners hungrily, he slowly became aware of the painful twinges on his belly and around the barely healed scar. Gritting his teeth, Xie Lian just walked on.
He was feeling better.
He was feeling immensely better.
He had been bathing because he had felt better.
But his belly kept aching, a prickling, throbbing sensation pulling at the skin, hurting him somewhere deeper than the scar. Xie Lian huffed with annoyance. It was probably just that the inter-dimensional travel from the Mortal Realm to the ghost one had taken its toll on his still recovering body, and so he ignored the pain, instead focusing his energy on more urgent matters.
First, despite San Lang pointing out that he shouldn’t be worried about the ruler of the city, Hua Cheng sounded like a character that could easily make Xie Lian’s life a living hell if he so wanted. Had he still been an ascended Martial God, Xie Lian wouldn’t probably have felt any anxiety at all, endlessly confident in his own powers and spiritual might. However, the ugly truth was that at the moment he was nothing but an immortal omega with no spiritual powers and luck so good that it had gotten him pregnant by the alpha who regularly violated him, making his life a living hell.
He sighed, trying to shake all the gloomy thoughts out of his mind but not really succeeding. Instead, he raised his gaze to look at a huge building with an intricate design that stood tall before him. No matter if the lord of the city was ruthless—the architecture was absolutely stunning to look at! Xie Lian felt a pang of sorrow in his heart because something about the city reminded him of Xianle. Maybe the way the houses were built and public space constructed around them? Maybe just the building design?
He couldn’t really tell, but everything seemed both deeply unfamiliar and familiar at the same time. The Heavenly Capital had always been a mix of everything because the gods originated from all the past and present kingdoms on earth, but something about Ghost City reminded him exclusively of Xianle. It was odd, because what would Crimson Rain Sought Flower have to do with his destroyed kingdom?
It must be all his imagination, after all.
Shaking his head, Xie Lian walked onwards, only to bump into a handsome male ghost almost immediately.
“Oh. What a curious thing we have here,” the ghost said and smirked, looking Xie Lian up and down.
Xie Lian’s hackles immediately rose. An alpha, by the scent of him. He didn’t say anything, eyes darting away to look for an escape route.
“Little doll, why don’t we have some fun?” The ghost continued, beckoning Xie Lian to follow with his fingers and making indecent movements with his hips. When Xie Lian refused to move, the ghost laughed. “Don’t tell me you’re a virgin little omega who’s never had any alpha cock in his life?”
Xie Lian swallowed hard, mind running. An alpha prostitute, that much was clear already. “I’m sorry Young Master,” he started, immediately to be cut off by the alpha.
“Young Master?” He burst out laughing, absolutely roaring with it. “Did you hear? This sweet omega gege is calling me ‘young master’?”
Some of the ghosts passing them by stopped to shake their heads, some spouting insults at the alpha, others rolling their eyes at Xie Lian.
The ghost leered at him. “Tell you what, sweet gege, I’ll give you a good ride. The best in your life. I’ll lick you real good and knot you even better, have you begging for more by the end of the night.”
Xie Lian felt his cheeks flush from embarrassment and rage both. How dare this ghost speak to him like this? But it was no use making a scene here. Also, the ghost was just doing his job, and Xie Lian, if anyone, knew how it felt like to be desperate.
He smiled at the prostitute stiffly, trying to calm down his angered heart with rationality. “Young master,” he said decisively calmly, “I have no need for your services.”
The ghost tilted his head and laughed cheerfully. “Huh. Never heard of an omega who wouldn’t need an alpha cock to keep them satisfied. I hear it’s quite the opposite, in fact. And as for a bite,” the ghost narrowed his eyes, staring at the unmarked skin below his bandaged neck, “I see nothing.”
Xie Lian continued to smile even though he wanted nothing more than to rip that annoying alpha’s head off. “Young master. You must understand; I have no need for your services for my hole has been wrecked and my womb has fallen off by an unwanted pregnancy. I’m completely unable to feel any pleasure and can fit no knots in me anymore.”
The alpha blinked. Ghosts stopped to stare, whispering and murmuring. Someone whistled and Xie Lian smiled, bearing through a wave of pain originating from his belly.
“Indeed,” the alpha said after a little while and scrunched his nose disdainfully. “You smell odd. Must be that your scent has soured, too. Forget it. I don’t do damaged goods.” And with a huff he turned around, long hair billowing after him as he trudged away.
Xie Lian breathed out a relieved sigh, but frowned immediately after. He smelled odd? He wasn’t supposed to be smelling of anything because his scent had been sealed away by the cursed shackle. The alpha must have smelled someone else, he decided, even though he could say that there were mostly betas and non-gendered animal spirits around them.
He shrugged, moving closer to the food stalls, tempted by the delicious smells. Upon a closer look he immediately regretted even considering eating here, finding the delicacies much too exotic for his tastes.
But as he walked around aimlessly and raked his mind for the best next steps, the alpha prostitute’s words kept ringing in his ears.
Damaged goods, damaged, goods, damaged goods.
Even though it had been a lie on his part, something inside him died a little when called both damaged and goods. He had been treated like goods for so long that the words stung more than they probably should have. As for the damaged part…
Xie Lian sighed. Frankly speaking, he couldn’t remember a time he hadn’t been damaged. It must have been lifetimes ago, before his first ascension. How innocent he had been. Laughable, so fucking laughable.
He steeled his mind, looking at a group of hooting ghosts on his right who were in the throes of a merry stick-throwing game of some sort.
He finally knew what he needed to do.
“Excuse me,” he said, stepping closer to the ghosts. They blinked at him, looking like they hadn’t really expected anyone to talk to them.
“What?” barked the one looking like an odd bird.
Xie Lian smiled. “I’m interested in making an item. From ashes.”
The moment the words left his mouth he froze, hands disappearing into his sleeves.
There was nothing!
A churning feeling of dread filled him. Oh no! He had been transported to suddenly that the jar with the ashes of both the baby and the placenta was still at his hut, perched on that stupid windowsill that San Lang had straightened and made all pretty and even decorated with fresh flowers that had wilted ages ago.
He tried to swallow but his mouth was too dry and his heart pumped too fast. His skin prickled and for a brief moment, he just wanted to fucking scream! The next thing would surely be that Feng Xin would go there and find the jar and take it with him, or even worse, scatter the ashes all around and, and—
Xie Lian tried to calm down his panicked mind, inhaling and exhaling deeply. All of his body felt uncomfortable, like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin. He let out a hysterical laugh but forced himself to focus; someone was saying something and he needed to pay attention.
“… ya hear, ya need to get to the Respectable Demon Ash-Maker. He’ll forge whatever you want from them.”
“But it ain’t cheap,” said a humanoid ghost and gave an eerie laugh.
Through his panic, Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or actually just scream. Trying to collect money had been bad enough in the Mortal Realm—he simply had no way of ever acquiring enough to actually pay a ghost of such status!
“Where do I find him?” he heard himself ask hollowly. His stomach cramped painfully.
“A fickle thing, he is,” said the bird spirit. Other ghosts nodded enthusiastically.
“Mm. If you are in a hurry, your best shot is to ask Chengzhu. He knows the whereabouts.”
Listening to the ghosts, Xie Lian’s urge to scream hadn’t exactly dissipated. And now he was supposed to just go and ask City Lord Hua about where to find an ash-making demon? It was unbelievable how his luck just kept getting worse with each breath he took.
“And where can I find Chengzhu?” he asked, feeling faint.
The ghosts laughed with a surprise. “Ya newly passed? Chengzhu is at the Gambler’s Den, of course! Go there, maybe you’ll even make it out alive. Or dead, hahahaha!”
The ghosts snickered and continued their game, turning their backs on Xie Lian, and he found himself alone again.
An unexpected thought hit him. He had received dice and now he was supposed to go to a Gambler’s Den? Truly an odd coincidence—or was it?
Maybe it was time to find out.
The Gambler’s Den was as loud as any other part of Ghost City. Xie Lian was instantly met with a barely contained cacophony of shouted words and the clanking of dice being rolled, ghosts shouting to up their stakes and screaming as they lost. He decided to merely observe the situation for a while before acting. For some reason he was feeling increasingly queasy but put it all down to the stuffy air and the amount of ghost qi circulating in the Den.
“We’re so blessed! Chengzhu is here today!” a tall, pale, skinny ghost bawled.
“Is he going to let us bet against him?” questioned another excitedly. “How is his skin today?”
“I don’t know, answers both questions. Ahaha! Do you remember the last time? It wasn’t just that man’s hand, he bet the life of his own daughter—and lost!”
“Yes yes! You can just bet against Chengzhu with some normal shit. Gotta be some stakes, you know, stakes! They must be high!”
“Oh wait, but did Chengzhu really take the life of that daughter? What a rotten dad. Deserved his death.”
“Yeah. Oh, I hear Chengzhu’s wearing his most spectacular skin today, although no one has seen him… Just there, behind the curtains, why won’t he allow a peek…”
The chat about Hua Cheng’s appearance and ruthless gambling habits went on and on as money and all other sorts of goods and favors exchanged ownership. Xie Lian couldn’t help but notice the way the ghosts seemed to respect their City Lord. Sure, Hua Cheng sounded merciless and fickle, but also like someone who really looked after his city and its residents, serving justice where he saw it fit.
Xie Lian panted a little. He had broken out in a sweat and was feeling increasingly… thin. Closing his eyes he rested his head a little bit, until general ruckus drew his thoughts away from his head. He opened up his eyes just as a croupier stepped forward.
“Hua Chengzhu is feeling merciful and bored today. If there is someone who wishes to gamble against the Lord of the City, please step forward.”
Xie Lian blinked upon hearing the words, mind running impossibly fast. This was his chance—there would be no other way for him to ever meet the City Lord! Curse his rotten luck but he would do this!
“I wish to gamble against the Lord of the City. For a…for a favor,” announced Xie Lian with a bright voice, stepping forward for all to see.
The hall fell silent, all the ghosts in the Gambler’s Den turning to look at him. Xie Lian faced them with a steely expression. The croupier, too, looked like she was deep in thought, after which she spoke. “Very well. Chengzhu has accepted your challenge. What is the favor that you’re asking for?”
Xie Lian breathed a sigh he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “There is a ghost I need to find. Should I win, I request Chengzhu’s help in finding it.” Xie Lian let his eyes linger on the croupier, not paying attention to the murmurs of the ghosts around him.
The croupier fell silent for a while and then nodded. “Chengzhu accepts. What are you going to bet?”
Xie Lian raked his brain feverishly for something on him worth betting. He had watched the gambling long enough to realize that it could be anything from his arms to his toenails, his good fortune or his luck. However, he wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of separating from any of his body parts, and both his luck and fortune were ridiculously bad as it were.
Was there anything he could bet? His belly ached more prominently now from where the deep wound was still healing, a distant nagging pain that made him light-headed. He had started to shiver slightly, forehead pushing out beads of sweat.
“I suppose I could bet fifty years of my life.”
The murmurs around him rose to a higher pitch, because rarely had the ghosts heard of someone betting so many years of their existence! The normal wager was a year or two, maximum ten.
“He’s not a ghost!” someone shouted. “Why would he bet any lifeyears otherwise?”
“Yeah! It makes no sense! I say if he loses we eat him!”
“What are you saying? Chengzhu has forbidden us from eating humans like the ugly green fucker. You wanna sink that low?”
“Asshole, I’ll show you low—”
“Silence!” The croupier announced with a loud, definitive voice that left to space for opposition. She then turned to look at Xie Lian with an odd expression on her face. “Chengzhu refuses your offer and tells you to value your lifeyears better.”
Xie Lian felt humiliated, the thick feeling of it curling around the veins of his body. “And what would Chengzhu have me offer instead?”
The croupier gave him a neutral smile. “Should you lose, Chengzhu requests you to keep him company at his manor for the duration of one night. He wishes to hear you sing and see you dance for him.”
The ghosts started yelling immediately upon hearing the outrageous counteroffer.
“Is that a punishment? Huh! Like there is anyone who wouldn’t want to dance to Hua Chengzhu?!”
“I don’t understand, what is this nonsense even?”
Xie Lian gave the croupier a frosty smile. What could a little dance hurt? It had only been a few weeks since he had been forced to hone his dancing skills again. “I accept,” he declared loudly and thought he heard a deep, delighted chuckle from behind the red silky curtains on the top of the stairs.
The croupier spoke again, this time stunning Xie Lian speechless. “Chengzhu would also like to request you to come closer for him to demonstrate a proper dice-rolling technique.”
The ghosts around him were sent to yet another uproar. What was going on? Why was Chengzhu suddenly being like this? None of this made any sense to them. But Xie Lian nodded and was just about to take a step towards the stairs, when suddenly one ghost—a headless corpse with his eyes on the stump of his neck—screamed. “He’s bleeding! Look, he’s bleeding!
Xie Lian’s mind whited out for a moment upon hearing those words, his steps slowing. He became acutely aware of the pain thrumming all over his body, centering on his stomach. The scar, the scar—Xie Lian sluggishly cast his eyes downward and surely enough, his white robes were suddenly painted red, his lifeblood oozing out once more to stain his clothes and the floor of the Gambling Den.
The ghosts went mad with the sight and the scent of a humans—no, god’s—blood being spilled, a frenzy breaking out in the hall.
“Aaah, let me lick it, let me taste it!”
“Let’s bottle it and use it for spells!”
“No no, stay away from it! Can’t you smell? It’s bad, rotten blood! We’ll all be sick if we touch it!”
But Xie Lian was starting to feel woozy from the pain he had been ignoring all night, the pain he had pretended didn’t even exist. “I…” he managed to croak out, cradling his belly with his hands and stumbling, about to fall to his knees.
However, before he could fall, there was a blur of red in the periphery of his vision, followed by a powerful shockwave shooting across the Den and sending many of the low-level ghosts flying.
And then he was caught in strong arms, surrounded by an all-too-familiar scent of one particular alpha. He would have known it anywhere, the only person to have treated him kindly. ‘San Lang,” he breathed out before his eyes rolled back in his skull. The last thing Xie Lian saw before passing out were crimson red robes and silver vambraces decorated with butterflies, embracing his bleeding body.
Notes:
Oh why was their reunion like this...! Poor him once more, this time he's got SEPSIS. But I can assure you that in the next chapter there's going to be some identity reveal things, also nesting... and the blankets! The blankets are here! Actually all this was supposed to be in this chapter but I had so much fun exploring Ghost City and kind of integrating those canon events but with a twist. :) I hope you don't mind there being more to read!
Two more things:
First, in case there is someone interested in my hualian works more generally, I just posted this crack Cinderella adaptation with Fairy Godfather Pei Ming with his Magic Wand (tm) anonymously just not to clog people's emails with notifs.Second, I started tumblr (@sodapopblitz) where I share cringe art, hcs, ficlets and fic snippets and minidoll photos. Feel free to pop by if you're there.
Chapter 12
Notes:
Okay! This one is a bit longer than usual. Chapter length consistency? Never heard of it.
I was also laughing when I went through the earlier chapter notes. Remember when I estimated the fic to be about 8-10 chapters in total? Good times.CW for this chapter: Excessive use of the word BLANKET! (and a tiny medical op)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hua Cheng stared at the figure lying on his bed and breathed out a shuddering sigh. Xie Lian, looked too small and thin on that elegant, luxurious bed. He was running a high fever, body scorching hot and yet shivering from cold.
Creeping closer to Xie Lian, Hua Cheng listened to his uneven heartbeat and ragged breathing that hitched with every inhale, shook with every exhale, telling of the way Xie Lian’s lungs were desperately trying to keep up while being attacked from the inside.
His god, the light of his life, sick and suffering in Ghost City. In his city, under his rule. Xie Lian, his love, his everything, sick and wilted right here, before Hua Cheng’s very eye.
He gritted his teeth. It was completely unacceptable, totally unforgivable. It made his guts turn inside out and upside down, drawing his body taut as a wire that might snap at the slightest annoyance.
He had known, of course, the exact moment Xie Lian had entered. He had used Hua Cheng’s personal dice after all. At that time, the thought had made him exhilaratingly happy, albeit nervous. Xie Lian had told ‘San Lang’ to go away, after all. But he had left a message to let Xie Lian know he would be waiting in Ghost City and that Xie Lian should come to Gambler’s Den. And yes, he knew his handwriting wasn’t the best. Most of the time it was downright awful. But he had tried very hard, almost burning down his whole manor from sheer frustration, staring at that offensive piece of paper and the ink that looked blacker than the blackest of souls.
But there simply was no way in hell he could have ever asked anyone to write that message. Not even Yin Yu, and so he had done it himself, grumbling and growling and just wanting to fucking die again, air sizzling with killing intent. And thus, when he had felt that tug of his spiritual powers, he had all but barricaded himself inside the Den to wait, body burning with unfamiliar anxiety and anticipation.
This was his true form, after all. The form Xie Lian had never seen because he had failed to mention that he was, in fact, a ghost. He had especially failed to mention he was a Ghost King. Instead, he had spent all that time in the pretty form of San Lang, that perfect human skin he had pedantically crafted just for Xie Lian’s pleasure. No fault in sight, absolutely nothing ugly about him. All features symmetrical, fine, faultless.
Glowing healthy human skin, pretty.
Two perfect eyes, pretty.
Hua Cheng continued to stare at Xie Lian. His cheeks were flushed red and lips parted, hair fanning over the pillow as he panted slightly from the exertion his body was pushing him through. Had it been any other time to see Xie Lian like this, panting in Hua Cheng’s bed, the sight alone would have made him feral, crazied out of his wits with the desire to knot, mate, bite, because he was a wicked and vile creature made of obsession and endless, dark devotion, and nothing, absolutely nothing, would ever be enough if it was about Xie Lian.
But not now.
Now the sight of his flushed, panting god only made him sick to his bones, a remainder how he had once more failed. Was there anything at all he could do right? Anything at all he could do to protect his omega? What a fucking useless alpha he was.
He moved his mouth close to Xie Lian’s and breathed, trying to channel some of his spiritual powers into the omega’s frail body without actually kissing him. Xie Lian exhaled with a soft ahh, but otherwise there was no change in his condition.
Hua Cheng growled in annoyance and stomped away, slamming his fist into the wall.
“Where are the doctors?” he snarled into the communication array.
“We are right there, Chengzhu,” Yin Yu’s businesslike voice echoed back.
“Good. Or I’ll fucking send you all to the gates of hell and back.”
Yin Yu didn’t reply, but in a half incense-stick of time he arrived with four people in tow.
“Chengzhu,” Yin Yu greeted quietly. Hua Cheng merely glared at them. “I’ve brought two doctors and a healer. All with the best of qualifications.”
“Well,” Hua Cheng snapped. “What are you waiting for? Get to work.”
He looked at Xie Lian, helpless and small and sick, lying on that huge bed alone and bare when he should have been surrounded by lovely blankets and pretty things, flowers and light. The fact that Hua Cheng knew his beloved was anything but helpless or weak made the situation all the more unbearable.
He watched intently as the doctors and the healer surrounded Xie Lian and examined him.
“No touching more than absolutely necessary or I’ll rip your heads off,” Hua Cheng growled as one of the doctors—a male beta ghost with a long beard—lifted Xie Lian’s arm to evaluate the general stiffness of his limbs. Startled, the doctor let the limb fall onto the bed immediately.
Hua Cheng tschked. “Look at you now,” he said, low and ominous. “Can’t even put it down gently?”
The doctor backed away immediately, but Hua Cheng was having none of it. “Finish your job,” he barked and all but threw the doctor back to where Xie Lian was writhing with his high fever.
The healer was chanting spells to check if there was some underlying spiritual condition that needed to be addressed, but was left spreading her arms helplessly. Hua Cheng nodded and Yin Yu escorted her out, handing her a pouch with a hefty sum of coin. The two doctors continued to work on Xie Lian, trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Hua Cheng heard them whisper and talk to each other, words like blood, bad, poisoned, surgery flying between them.
And suddenly, he was out of patience. Completely, utterly, totally out of patience. “Heal him or I’ll rip your eyes out and scorch your arms to stumps,” he snarled, standing up and feeling his form starting to glow.
Other one of the doctors, a rare female omega among their ranks, looked at him very neutrally. ”Chengzhu. I understand your urgency. However, since medical matters are beyond your powers, I suggest you sit back and let us work in peace.”
The words cut Hua Cheng like the sharpest of knives. He staggered slightly, perhaps not enough for anyone to even realize, but he nonetheless, he staggered, sitting on his chair as instructed and continuing to glare. And the more he glared, the more he became aware of an overarching feeling that gnawed at his insides.
Helplessness.
He felt entirely powerless and hated every second of it.
It took ages, and the doctors even had to strip Xie Lian down to his undergarments which Hua Cheng thought was as close to defiling his body as it could possibly be, but finally they came to him, side by side, looking somber and ashen.
“Chengzhu,” said the female doctor.
Hua Cheng nodded, not even bothering to speak.
The male doctor spoke next. “I’m afraid, but your omega is very, very sick. His blood is badly poisoned and we’ve located the source of the infection in the wound on his belly.”
Hua Cheng’s ears were ringing as he listened to the two doctors speak. Xie Lian’s blood was poisoned because of the abortion? Was there no end to his beloved’s torment?
He wanted to scream.
“And?” he managed to grit out.
The female doctor cleared her throat, seemingly uncomfortable. “We need to surgically remove the infected tissue. All of it. There’s some fluid retention, so that needs to be drained as well, but…”
“Basically we need to operate him. Otherwise he will not make it. The poisoning is spreading, close to his heart already.”
Suddenly all anger left Hua Cheng’s body. He didn’t do anything dramatic like fling himself at Xie Lian’s motionless body and start sobbing. No, of course not. Rather, he fell silent, deathly silent, just staring at his sweet, sweet omega, his heart’s dearest treasure, the core of whole Hua Cheng, and his own quiet heart started weeping tears of fear.
“Do it,” he uttered, suddenly feeling so, so tired.
Useless.
Worthless.
That’s what he was, truly, at heart. Even after all these years, after all the accumulation of his powers. Good for nothing.
The doctors nodded, looking nervous.
“Does Chengzhu have… a more sterile room?”
Hua Cheng was shaken out of his self-hate. “What’s wrong with this one?” he immediately asked. There wasn’t any room plusher, more opulent, more befitting of his god—
“We need a bed without any beddings or blankets. We need to avoid anything—fabric, fibers, anything at all—from getting into the wound as we open him up.” The doctors looked at each other before speaking out.
Oh.
“Ah,” Hua Cheng noted. “Yin Yu?”
“Already on it, Chengzhu” Yin Yu noted in the communication array, having disappeared the moment before. “Northwest corridor; that one room normally received for meditation.”
Hua Cheng nodded and turned his gaze on the doctors. “Follow me.”
Walking to the bed, he carefully lifted Xie Lian’s heated body and held him gently in his arms, looking at his lax face, listening to his harsh breathing. His body was like a lump of hot coal against Hua Cheng’s cool skin. “Forgive me, Your Highness,” he murmured before leading everyone to the room Yin Yu had prepared.
The operation itself was unbearable to watch. The doctors prepared their sharp knives and removed the mangled parts of Xie Lian’s flesh, leaving nothing but scarred fields of skin behind. There was so much blood—Xie Lian’s blood—and Hua Cheng felt sick to his bones, images from centuries ago assaulting his mind, also filled with Xie Lian's blood.
He would kill Jun Wu.
“We’re done, Chengzhu,” noted the female doctor finally after they had sutured the wound and cleaned Xie Lian’s body. “I’m afraid the only thing we can do now is to give you some medicinal tea. Please make sure he drinks it; he needs lots of fluids to battle the fever.”
The male doctor nodded, his beard shaking. “Yes. And now that the source of the sickness has been removed, please keep the wound clean. Healing spells and an inbound flow of spiritual energy might help him recover quicker, although I can assure you it’ll be a while. Although, he seems to be a mortal, it’s unclear if his body can handle any excess flow of energy…”
“That will be no problem,” said Hua Cheng curtly. “Thank you.” The words tasted stale on his tongue. Foreign, ugly. There were moments in his life that he had felt thankful, but those were rare and even rarer were the times he actually voiced that particular emotion.
The doctors nodded and gathered their supplies, about to leave. At the door the female doctor turned around once more. “And Chengzhu?”
Hua Cheng didn’t take his gaze away from Xie Lian, merely raised his hand in acknowledgement.
“The infection has wrecked his womb. It’s unlikely that he will ever be able to carry again.”
And with those words she left with the bearded male doctor in tow, leaving Hua Cheng alone and staring helplessly at his heart’s dearest treasure.
Xie Lian was floating in a pool of pain, a pulsating, endless pit of infernal ache and burning hot fever. He didn’t know where he was or what was happening, other than that he was very, very sick, his whole body turning against itself.
He wasn’t sure if he was awake or asleep as he suffered, his lips forming a list of intelligible words.
Ashes, he might have gasped at some point.
Wuming! He definitely screamed once.
And no, no, no, the litany of nos that left his lips as images of his torment at the Heavenly Capital flashed through his mind.
Sometimes he opened his eyes, only to see a tall frame of red and black looming over him, wiping his forehead gently with a soft cloth.
San Lang? He thought blearily and wasn’t sure if he said it aloud.
But finally the raging hot inferno inside him started to cool down. Little by little his consciousness returned from his nightmarish dreams, awareness seeping into his body. The pain was less and less with each beat of his heart until one day he opened his eyes.
Blinking, Xie Lian tried to take in his surroundings. He was in a spacious room decorated with red and gold patterns on the wooden walls, lying on a soft, large bed. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before and it took him a moment to remember where he had been before collapsing.
Ghost City.
Gambler’s Den.
A flash of red and silver and that scent.
That scent!
He inhaled deeply and slowly turned his head to be faced with a tall, handsome stranger who was looking at him with both dread and wonder on his face. The stranger had a wondrously pale skin, an ink black wild hair, an eyepatch covering his right eye and pointed ears adorned with piercings. He was wearing lush maple red robes and silver accessories, looking absolutely regal.
He was clearly a ghost. Xie Lian could even sense a vague hint of strong ghost qi lingering in the air.
But that scent…
“San Lang?” Xie Lian croaked. But no, this wasn’t the face of his San Lang. San Lang was a young human boy, and that alluring stranger in front of him was certainly someone else. Something else. It didn’t take him long to put two and two together. “Lord Crimson Rain Sought Flower?”
The stranger sighed, visibly relieved. “I still prefer San Lang,” he said in a deep, low, lovely voice that resonated all over the room and sent shivers down Xie Lian’s spine.
Xie Lian hesitated. “Alright. San Lang.”
He had no idea what else to say. Here he was, apparently rescued by Crimson Rain Sough Flower Hua Cheng himself for reasons unknown. “Why would you spend all that time with me?” he asked rather unintelligibly and blinked owlishly. He was still feeling sluggish and drained.
Hua Cheng flashed a quick grin and tilted his head. “Either I wanted to spend time with you or I was bored. Guess which?”
Xie Lian shook his head. “I don’t… You must be busy,” he mumbled.
The smile fell off of Hua Cheng’s beautiful face. “I’m sorry gege. I was teasing.” He crossed his legs and the tiny silver chains on his black leather boots jingled.
Gege.
It truly was San Lang. No one else called him like that, and Xie Lian didn’t only mean the affectionate word. Rather, the way the syllables rolled off of Hua Cheng’s tongue, the way his lips moved, the way the word hang in the air like a prayer.
Xie Lian felt conflicted. But then— “The ashes!” he wailed, almost jumping up, only to crumble on the bed immediately. Hua Cheng was there in an instant, hovering over him with a worried expression on his face. Even his scent had soured, surprising Xie Lian to no end.
“The ashes, oh my god, the ashes. They’re there and—how long was I out?—Feng Xin must’ve been there and…” He felt like crying, swallowing around a lump in his throat. His whole body ached from the sudden movements.
“Gege. Calm down,” Hua Cheng said and very carefully placed his land on Xie Lian’s forehead, pushing him to lie back. Xie Lian felt compelled to do as he was encouraged, body relaxing under the alpha’s touch.
“I’ve got the jar. You’ve been sick for a moontime. Blood poisoning. Running high fever, doctors had to operate you. And you were delirious, screaming about the ashes, so I fetched them from your hut. They’re safe now.”
“They’re… safe?” Xie Lian breathed, a huge weight leaving his chest. He still had his chance for revenge.
“They are.” Hua Cheng nodded reassuringly. “They are here. Nothing gets past me, trust me gege. This is the safest place in all the realms for the ashes. And for you.”
Drawing a deep breath, Xie Lian nodded. For some reason, he believed Hua Cheng. Then his eyes widened. “It’s been a moontime?” he asked with disbelief. That meant that… Feng Xin must have visited. And yes, it had been Xie Lian’s plan to get as far as possible from there before that anyway, but suddenly everything seemed to have spiraled out of control. He wondered if Feng Xin and Mu Qing had ultimately told Jun Wu.
The mere thought made him nauseous.
“Yes. As I said, gege was very, very sick. If you had been a normal mortal, you would be dead.” Hua Cheng clenched his jaw and Xie Lian saw his features twist.
Oh. He must be annoyed that Xie Lian was still here.
“I’m very sorry. It must have been such an inconvenience. I’m sorry, I truly am,” Xie Lian started to babble, feeling very small. This was San Lang, but San Lang was Crimson Rain Sought Flower, and Xie Lian just didn’t know if he was going to punish him or something for being such a bother.
“Gege, please,” Hua Cheng said, voice trembling with some unknown emotion. “There’s nothing to apologize.”
Xie Lian didn’t quite believe him but nodded regardless. “You mentioned an operation.”
Hua Cheng hummed. “Yes. Your wound had gotten badly infected and the poison was spreading fast. The doctors had to remove all of the infected tissue.” Hua Cheng’s tone was suddenly emotionless and the way he stared at Xie Lian made him feel all sorts of funny feelings, the most prevalent of which was deep embarrassment.
He was embarrassed to have caused Hua Cheng so much trouble. He was embarrassed to have forced him witness Xie Lian’s weakened state. He felt embarrassed to have ignored the pain, stubbornly telling himself that he was feeling better already, and even bathing in that river, probably making the infection even worse.
“Ah,” he merely noted and lay back, turning his back on Hua Cheng, closing his eyes. How stupid he was, really.
“Gege,” Hua Cheng called out and Xie Lian tried to croak an answer but nothing really came out of his mouth.
“There’s something else, too.”
“Ah. What is it?” Slowly, Xie Lian forced himself to meet Hua Cheng’s dark, unblinking eye, only for the alpha to turn his gaze away.
“The doctors said that.” Hua Cheng seemed to be having difficulties speaking. “That it is highly unlikely that you will ever be with a child again.”
Xie Lian’s blinked, mind blanking out for a moment.
“Oh,” he said stupidly. What else was there to say? Nothing in his life had turned out as he had expected. Although he did like small children, he had never even considered having kids. And then, Jun Wu… Xie Lian felt a burst of blind rage surge inside him. But now, to be told that it was something he could never even have again? Xie Lian felt something shatter inside him, some primal part of his omega identity and biology. No, he hadn’t necessarily wanted children, but to have the choice taken away from him? Just like that? To be told that he was, indeed, ‘damaged goods’?
“Oh,” he said again and hated, hated, hated Jun Wu so fucking much that he wanted to bang his head on the wall and wail.
“Gege.”
“Yes, San Lang?” He felt dejected and tired in a way he hadn’t felt in a very long time.
“I have an idea. Something that might make you feel… better.” Hua Cheng hesitated slightly before the last word.
“Oh.” Xie Lian just didn’t know what else to say. Suddenly it all felt like too much. He had slept for too long and felt terribly out of touch with his body and mind. And then having Hua Cheng there, the shock with the ashes, and the awful news and…
“Mn. Can you stand?”
Xie Lian nodded. He wasn’t sure, but he would try. “Yeah. Just, give me a…” ‘Moment’, he had intended to say, but suddenly an arm appeared in front of him.
“A hand?”
Xie Lian looked up at Hua Cheng’s handsome face and nodded mutely. “Yes. A hand. Thank you.” He shuffled closer to the edge of the bed and slowly got off, stumbling instantly.
But strong arms encircled his waist immediately and pulled him back up to stand steadily on his two own feet. Without thinking, Xie Lian leaned on that support.
“Thank you, San Lang. It seems that my strength is still… well. Not quite here.”
“Of course it isn’t.” Hua Cheng said softly, taking a few steps forwards and slowly encouraging Xie Lian to walk. “But gege needs to try. It will make your blood flow better.”
Xie Lian nodded, but it was pretty horrible. He had been so sick for a moontime, and his body felt like it didn’t know if it was alive or dead. But Hua Cheng kept offering his support, and the two of them slowly made their way outside. Xie Lian was too exhausted to pay proper attention to his surroundings, other than that they seemed to be at a very fancy, opulent manor with an interior of all shades of red.
Finally Hua Cheng stopped in front of a large door decorated with carvings of flowers. Xie Lian was panting from exertion, leaning heavily against him.
“We’re here,” Hua Cheng announced, opening the doors. “Let me help. Watch out for the stairs.”
They entered a large room, dark at first before Hua Cheng set it alight with a snap of his fingers.
Xie Lian gasped, eyes widening. “San Lang…”
But Hua Cheng wasn’t looking at him at all, rather staring at the tips of his boots.
“This is… all these are…?”
“Blankets. I thought a nest would make you feel better.”
A nest. Xie Lian blinked and there was an odd lump in his throat. He couldn’t remember if he had ever had a real nest to himself. His lodgings in the Heavenly Capital had been tidy, but he had never been given any extra blankets to build a proper nest with.
He didn’t even know how it would feel like to nest.
"San Lang..."
Hua Cheng then raised his gaze and grinned, looking very spirited all of a sudden. “It’s nothing, gege. Use what you want.”
Xie Lian’s mind was running at a terribly fast speed. “But… San Lang has a beloved, no? Surely all these blankets are for—”
“Just take whatever you need, gege,” Hua Cheng interrupted him. “Don’t worry about anything else. I’ll gift them all to you.”
Xie Lian shook his head. It was all a bit too much and there was the whole case of Hua Cheng’s beloved, too, but he was curious. Immensely so. Just the thought of a nest made something warm and fuzzy seep into his marrow, making him feel nice and cherished. Why couldn’t he have this one nice thing in his life for once when it was handed to him on a silver platter? Just this once and Xie Lian would be grateful for eternity. He had so few things to really be happy for.
“Can you help me look?” he asked and Hua Cheng grabbed his waist even tighter, looking tall and handsome and smelling like safety and spice and a the slightest amount of titillating, exotic ghost qi. Xie Lian felt pacified and calm, inhaling Hua Cheng’s scent deep and sighing from small pleasure. Suddenly the aches of his body didn’t feel so terrible anymore.
“Pick whatever you want, gege,” said Hua Cheng.
Xie Lian nodded and let his gaze roam the shelves full of blankets. Colorful blankets, black blankets. Thin, thick and everything in between. Cushion, pillows, quilts, even full mattresses. There wasn’t probably a type of bedding Hua Cheng’s blanket treasury didn’t have!
Xie Lian let his fingers touch the materials, enjoying the feel of the blankets on the pads of his fingers. Some were fine, others coarse. There was cotton, wool, silk and all kinds of blends that made Xie Lian wonder where, exactly, had Hua Cheng gotten all these.
The wonder must have been plastered all over his face.
“I’m a collector,” Hua Cheng merely noted with a chuckle. “When gege’s well enough, I will take you to my armory.”
Xie Lian’s eyes started to shine and he clutched at Hua Cheng’s arm even more tightly. “Armory?” he breathed out. It had been such a long time since he had held a sword. “I would love to see.”
“Well,” Hua Cheng noted solemnly, still smiling. “Gege just has to get better first.”
Xie Lian hummed in acknowledgement. He was definitely too weak to even consider holding a sword right now. And, in fact, he had sworn not to hold one ever again, but… just looking wouldn’t hurt. He really did love swords and all types of weapons.
He continued checking on the blankets, leaning on Hua Cheng’s support as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Suddenly something captured his attention.
“San Lang,” he breathed out.
“Gege?” Hua Cheng’s voice was questioning.
“That’s… Xianle silk, isn’t it?” Xie Lian’s eyes went wide and his fingers twitched, unconsciously reaching for the radiant blanket of red and gold, woven into a regal, abstract pattern. “But Xianle…” His throat constricted as he tried to swallow. Xianle had fallen centuries ago. How many? He didn’t even now himself. How was it even possible that Hua Cheng had something like this here?
“This is invaluable,” Xie Lian said in a daze. “Even the Xianle silkworms are extinct, there’s no way…”
Hua Cheng looked at him, delight pasted all over his face. “Does it please gege?”
“Please?” Xie Lian all but sputtered, face flushed with sudden excitement. “This is… I… San Lang, it makes me very happy to see this. I thought that nothing… so how come you have…” He wasn’t making any sense, he knew it, but just couldn’t help himself.
Hua Cheng snickered and reached out to fetch the blanket, other hand holding onto Xie Lian’s waist tightly. “Here. Take it to your nest.”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian started, eyes wide. Suddenly all breath was punched out of him. “I can’t. It’s too much. This is a treasure!”
“Nonsense, gege. It’s an item. Treasures are… something else. It makes you happy, take it.”
Xie Lian took in the expression on Hua Cheng’s face and it was clear that he wasn’t going to back off. With a sigh he took the offered blanket in his hands, letting his fingers trace the intricate patterning reverently. It was more like a thin shawl than a blanket, but Xie Lian didn’t care. It had been so long since he had had anything to remind him of his homeland. Anything at all, other than that deep pit of pain that lingered inside him wherever he went.
“Thank you, San Lang,” he said meekly, at loss for words.
Hua Cheng only nodded, still smiling. “Any other blanket that catches gege’s eye? You should have as many as you want.”
Xie Lian shook his head. This man, he thought but there was a touch of keen fondness in it.
Eventually they ended up getting a bunch of blankets for Xie Lian’s nest. Hua Cheng carried them effortlessly while supporting Xie Lian, who was starting to feel utterly winded from the short trek.
Somehow they made it to the room Xie Lian was resting in. He all but collapsed on the bed, body aching from those few steps that he had taken. Hua Cheng carefully placed the blankets he was carrying on the bed, backing away immediately to give Xie Lian space to build his nest.
But the truth was that he had never really nested. Feeling overwhelmed, he looked at the blankets helplessly and didn’t really know where to even start.
“I don’t,” he whispered, not knowing what he was trying to say. Somehow he felt like crying. Damaged goods, damaged goods, his mind whispered to him. An omega who didn’t even know how to build a proper nest—on top of everything else. He truly was a failure in every sense of the word.
But Hua Cheng seemed to understand. “I can help you, gege,” he said in a quiet, measured, careful tone.
Xie Lian swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded, remembering how perfect he had been back at the hut, helping him with all the woodwork and everything else, too. So he got up once more, legs wobbling, and hopped to the side.
Hua Cheng worked in silence, arranging the blankets as he saw fit. “I’m sorry gege if it’s not to your liking,” he said, staring at his handiwork and frowning. “I’ve never built one.”
“I’m sure it’ll be perfect, San Lang,” Xie Lian answered truthfully and smiled a little. Hua Cheng didn’t seem like a person who would fail something as simple as this.
After a while the nest was ready and Hua Cheng stepped away from the bed, allowing for Xie Lian to inch closer. He inspected the nest and his eyes widened. It looked perfect, like it was suited for royalty: all elegance and comfort combined, just the way he would have wanted it to be.
His heart skipped a beat as tears prickled in his eyes.
“Can I…” he started with a strained voice.
“Of course.” Hua Cheng smiled.
Xie Lian nodded and slowly got back into the bed, making himself comfortable among the blankets and cushions. They were soft, smelled sweet, and not only the Xianle silk one—all of them were clearly made of exquisite materials. He sighed contently, trying to find a nice position for himself to lie in, and yet it felt like…
“San Lang?”
“Yes?” Hua Cheng looked at him with an unreadable look in his eye. “Is gege comfortable? Would you like this one to leave now?”
“I…” Xie Lian faltered, feeling his face heat. But he felt like his nest was truly missing something important. Readying his heart at the sheer audacity of his request, he opened his mouth to speak: “Won’t you join me?”
Hua Cheng’s eye widened and his breath hitched. “Gege,” he uttered, but Xie Lian interrupted him.
“I’m sorry. I know. It’s terribly forward of me. But… Back then, at the hut. I felt… safe. With you. So won’t you…” he trailed off and turned his face away, feeling horribly embarrassed.
Of course Hua Cheng would say no. He was a Ghost King, the scourge of the Heavens, a prime alpha and the most dangerous person in all realms, who also happened to have a beloved of his own. And Xie Lian… Xie Lian was nothing but damaged goods, a broken omega, hunted by the Heavenly Emperor and probably the laughingstock of all the realms by now.
But suddenly the bed dipped and Xie Lian let out a small ohh as Hua Cheng’s lovely, strong scent surrounded him once more.
“Your Highness,” Hua Cheng murmured and sounded absolutely wrecked. Xie Lian couldn’t fathom why.
“San Lang,” he mumbled, eyes falling close. Shuffling closer he sighed. “Scent me? Just this once.”
Hua Cheng made a noise in his throat but immediately leaned forward to nuzzle at Xie Lian’s neck, right where the bandage covered his cursed shackle. His scent engulfed Xie Lian’s every sense, making him feel like he was floating on a strip of soft flower blossoms.
Burrowing his body into the crook of Hua Cheng’s arm Xie Lian continued to breathe in his scent, letting it wash over him. A large hand came to lightly stroke his hair and another gently caressed his cheek, and Xie Lian couldn’t help it; he snuggled closer still, feeling truly safe for the first time in centuries.
Right before he drifted off a thought hit him. “I need a bath.”
Hua Cheng chuckled and his chest rumbled. “Tomorrow. Now rest, gege. San Lang's got you.”
Notes:
Help! What’s with all this sappiness all of a sudden? 🤯 Ah, but they deserve some fluff and nesting 🥺
So now they're reunited. Are we done? Nope. One heavenly asshole is still on the loose and no one is mated and bitten yet. Anything can happen! But I have the ending written! Got inspired this week, it's all done. Once WE get there, that is.
Next chapter: The rumor has just reached my ear piece that Hua Cheng has booked the best foot spa in the whole Ghost Realm for his gege 💅
Chapter 13
Notes:
Hi! Thank you for all the lovely comments and reactions to this fic! <3 I've been sick and am behind in replying, but I have read each one of them and they mean so much to me. Just give me some time to get back to you :)
Anyway, welcome to a chapter that was quite an impromptu one. I'm so sorry. 😭😅 But a few of you seemed to be interested in Hua Cheng's emotional rollercoaster during Xie Lian's sick month and I was like hell yeah, tortured alpha Hua Cheng, why not. So. Here we are, a bit of an interlude where Professional Yearner Fafa goes through all the feels with his pheromones going haywire.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The time which Xie Lian spent fighting the blood poisoning felt like the longest period of torment in Hua Cheng’s life and afterlife combined. It felt infinitely longer than all those centuries he had spent looking for his god, infinitely longer than all those lonely nights he had spent at the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods, dreaming of his god.
Day in, day out, the sight of Xie Lian sweating away his sickness was simply devastating, almost unbearable to watch. Hua Cheng wanted to crawl out of his skin, out of this body he had so carefully crafted to hold all that power that he had yearned for.
He remembered well that mania that had consumed him after becoming a Supreme, that all-encompassing, burning desire to become stronger than anyone else in all the three realms. But what use was there for his powers if he couldn’t keep that one thing he truly wanted, respected, loved and deeply treasured, safe?
Useless.
Next to Xie Lian’s sickbed, no matter where he looked or what he did, his mind kept repeating that one word, an endless mocking echo inside his head.
Regardless, Hua Cheng kept watch over Xie Lian tirelessly, absolutely refusing to leave his side. He wiped the sweat off of his forehead with a special-made soft cloth of the finest cotton. Hands burning with shame he wiped the illness off of Xie Lian’s face and lips and skin and body; his arms and his shoulders, the upper parts of his chest. His armpits. His delicate neck and his scent glands, that horrible shackle under the layers of bandages which made his fingers prickle with unease.
Useless.
It felt so wrong to be touching Xie Lian like this when he was vulnerable. Hua Cheng’s hands, full of blood, sullying the skin of his beloved. How did he know he wasn’t pouring some mysterious ghastly disease into Xie Lian’s skin instead of wiping it clean?
He was truly useless.
Days passed.
Xie Lian was so, so sick. Sometimes he lay still as if he was dead, sometimes he was clearly plagued by nightmares and hallucinations, muttering aloud, letting out small sighs and screams. Hua Cheng wanted to crawl over to him and pull him in his arms, drive away all those bad dreams and ugly visions and never let go. However, apart from the wiping and cleaning of Xie Lian’s skin, he kept his respectable distance, fingers twitching and heart hurting all the while.
The things Xie Lian moaned while unconscious often didn’t make any sense; just random words strung together.
However, when he suddenly opened his mouth and gasped ‘ashes!’ in a deeply anguished voice, Hua Cheng immediately knew what he was talking about: the aborted baby, of course.
Raising two fingers on his temple, he whispered a password.
“Chengzhu.” The reply was immediate.
“Yin Yu. I need you to go to a hut at the far end of the farms around Puqi Village. Make an array, my butterflies will take you from there.”
“Of course. Already on it.”
Hua Cheng hummed and absently tugged at the largest of his many earrings—a rare sign of nervousness. “Good. Inside the hut you will probably find a container of some sort. A pickle jar, an urn, something like that. Take it and bring it to me. It is extremely valuable and must not fall into wrong hands.”
“Understood,” noted Yin Yu softly. “Anything else?”
“Yes. My dice shaker should be lying around. Make sure not to leave it behind. And before you return, make it look like the hut has been abandoned intentionally.”
“Chengzhu,” Yin Yu acknowledged and disappeared from the communication array without any further words.
Hua Cheng sighed, turning his attention on Xie Lian once more. Ashes were the core of the ghost, the ultimate concentration of their life-spiritual energy, their embodied soul. Whoever had the ghost’s ashes wielded absolute power over them. Silently he praised Xie Lian for having understood the importance of the ashes of the fetus in case they needed to exorcise the spirit later.
His own ashes tingled inside his robes, a low-frequency hum he had gotten accustomed to during all these years. Inside him a sense of yearning swelled, so deep and profound that it made him gasp. His ashes, much like his life—they belonged to Xie Lian.
On the bed, his god moaned, body trembling uncontrollably. He looked pained, face pulled into a grimace, and Hua Cheng’s unbeating heart clenched so hard that he thought he would just fucking die.
Suddenly Xie Lian’s eyes shot open, only for Hua Cheng to immediately understand that his gaze was unseeing and shattered, not in this world at all. A sharp sting of insurmountable spiritual agony shot up his spine because the expression on Xie Lian’s face resembled the time when White No-Face had had him slaughtered; pierced and slashed and gutted until there was nothing left but blood, torn flesh, and his fractured spirit.
It was the day Hua Cheng had become a Wrath, the single worst day of his life.
Slowly he reached out and caressed Xie Lian’s forehead with his trembling hand, letting it drag gently against the skin in soothing motions before moving down to force Xie Lian’s eyelids shut again, sparing himself from that dead, honeyed gaze.
“Wuming,” Xie Lian murmured, unconsciously turning his head to lean into Hua Cheng's touch.
Hua Cheng’s whole body jolted and, a tortured sound escaped his lips. He quickly pulled his hand away.
Wuming.
It couldn’t be.
A myriad of emotions flashed through his mind from disbelief to anguish, from wonder to deep longing, and his body burned with the phantom pain of being ripped apart by the force of those resentful spirits.
“Your Highness,” he uttered, the words slipping from his lips like a mantra before he could prevent them, unexpected, unwanted, unheeded.
Xie Lian stirred and his brows furrowed as if to locate the sound. Then his face fell lax again and whatever fraction of consciousness there had been drifted off once more. Hua Cheng stared at him, utterly helpless. It took him a moment to gather his wits.
“Yin Yu?” he called out in the spiritual communication array.
An answering voice rang out in his head. “Just got the jar, Chengzhu.”
“Good. How is the hut? Any signs of unwanted visitors?”
“No, Chengzhu. No signs of fights or a break-in. I’ve made everything to look like it’s been left intentionally.”
“Thank you. I’ll send a butterfly to keep watch. I’m expecting some trouble soon.”
“Understood. I’ll be on my way back now.”
As the communication array closed, Hua Cheng sent a few butterflies flying with the snap of his fingers. According to his crude estimations and based on what he had overheard, it was around these days that those idiot good-for-nothing gods would be coming down to fetch Xie Lian to take him back to the Heavenly Capital.
Just the thought of it made Hua Cheng sneer. Take him back? Take Hua Cheng’s omega back to the Heavens?
A furious scowl rose to his face and his eye started to glow.
Too bad his beloved wasn’t there for them to take. He was here, with Hua Cheng, and nothing, absolutely nothing in all the three realms, would ever take Xie Lian away from him. His fangs snapped, aching furiously, and a growl emerged from his throat.
Mine!
The possessive howl was left ringing in the air of his bedroom. Those fucking idiots. They stood no chance against Hua Cheng. If they so much as laid a finger on Xie Lian, Hua Cheng would show no mercy at all, and this time they wouldn’t be able to opt out of a fight.
Looking at Xie Lian’s sleeping form, eye still burning and fangs tingling, he idly wondered if he should just go and burn down the temples of those two no-good gods. The thought of a bit of heavenly destruction amused him enough to calm him down, his eye returning to normal and the vicious thrumming under his skin dissipating. Too bad that destroying all thise the temples would attract too much attention, be it of those idiot assholes or the Heavenly Emperor himself.
The mere thought of the Emperor made Hua Cheng grit his teeth. Jun Wu was as good as fucking dead. However, it wasn’t in his nature just to barge in to the Heavens and challenge him to a duel. No. Hua Cheng wasn’t stupid. Too much was at stake this time.
Challenging the Heavenly Emperor—easy.
Challenging the Heavenly Emperor while making sure that absolutely no harm would come to Xie Lian—quite a bit more complicated.
Indeed, it was imperative to make sure that Xie Lian was kept out of Jun Wu’s radar at all costs and hence, there would be no burnt temples and no outward signs of rebellion.
Yet.
With those thoughts he continued to watch over Xie Lian as he slept and recovered, color slowly returning to his face.
One day, just as he was wiping Xie Lian’s face again, a voice boomed inside his head.
“Black Water,” he noted tonelessly.
“Crimson Rain,” He Xuan greeted. “Greetings from the Heavens.”
“You’re still there.” It was a statement rather than a question.
“Yes. I have unfinished business with some of the gods. Don’t trouble yourself over it.”
Hua Cheng snorted. As if he would trouble himself over anything other than Xie Lian’s wellbeing and safety. “Well. What is it?”
He Xuan made a sound in the array. “The Martial Gods of the Southeast and the Southwest have been called in to be interrogated by the Heavenly Emperor after some rumors that they might have met His Highness the Crown Prince quite recently.”
Hua Cheng hummed thoughtfully. “And how have those rumors come to be?”
“Who knows,” stated He Xuan. “Maybe someone simply overheard them quarreling. It’s not exactly… easy to miss. And the Emperor has ears everywhere.”
Of course it wasn’t. Hua Cheng really should have just forced those two into duel with him when he had a chance. Nothing good came out of them and their sickening godly existence.
He gritted his teeth.
“Keep me updated,” he said, but He Xuan had already cut the connection.
A few days later Hua Cheng decided that Xie Lian’s wound should be cleaned properly. For that purpose he had Yin Yu get that female omega doctor. In theory, he could have done it himself, but merely the thought of looking at Xie Lian’s wound made him feel like he was violating his god.
“How is he?” asked the doctor upon arriving, curt and straight to the point.
“He is well.”
The doctor nodded and looked satisfied. “Good. I expected nothing less of you, Chengzhu.”
For some reason the praise made his skin tingle in a very foreign, positive, odd kind of way. Hua Cheng might be a Ghost King, he might be a Supreme and the most dreaded being in all the realms, but he was an alpha and that alpha in him rejoiced; he was being praised for successfully taking care of his chosen omega.
He quickly turned away his face. “What can I call you?” he asked instead in the hopes of changing the subject.
“Omegaboss Doctor Do Good,” said the omega with a completely straight face.
Hua Cheng choked. The doctor smirked.
“That can’t be your real name.” The words fell from his lips before he could prevent himself.
“Of course it’s not,” the doctor said with an amused lilt to her voice. “Chengzhu, tell me. Is Hua Cheng your lifename? Or Crimson Rain Sought Flower?”
Hua Cheng snapped his mouth shut before he would say something he really regretted, instead letting the doctor—Omegaboss—do her job. But for some reason his mouth betrayed him once more. “Why such a pompous name in death?”
The doctor hummed, her eyes on Xie Lian and hands gentle as she untied his belts to reveal the wound on his stomach. “If not in death then when? Sometimes there is little respect for omegas when we’re alive, no matter how capable we are. Just holes to fuck, bodies to breed. Is it so wrong to finally demand that respect?”
Hua Cheng looked at Xie Lian and all that bare expanse of skin that had been revealed from under his robes. Catching himself immediately, he turned his gaze away and hated himself for daring to even look at his beloved in such a state.
“No,” he replied. “It’s not. Solid skills, loyalty and a just mind should never go unrecognized. One’s inherent attributes should have nothing to do with them.”
“Mm,” acknowledged the doctor, hands working swiftly on Xie Lian’s body. “Chengzhu is so kind.”
Hua Cheng barked a surprised laugh, the kind that probably no one had managed to rip out of his throat before. “Hardly.”
The sheer audacity of that doctor.
Omegaboss laughed lightly and resumed her work. Hua Cheng glanced over every once in a while, noting with satisfaction how tender her hands were when they touched Xie Lian, small gentle strokes and caresses on his flushed, feverish skin.
“Alright, Chengzhu,” she noted after a while. “I have cleaned the wound and removed the sutures. The damage was extensive so it might look bad for a while. However, it is healing exactly as it should be, if not even faster than expected. His fever hasn’t broken yet but all in all I’m fairly hopeful that he will make a full recovery.” She kept a small pause. “And that itself is a miracle. I hope you know that.”
“Yes,” Hua Cheng acknowledged gravelly, moving back to Xie Lian’s side now that he was freshly cleaned and robed again. “Gege,” he whispered, taking his limp hand in his own cool one.
If Omegaboss thought something of it, she didn’t say anything, merely collected her items and got ready to leave. She was almost out of the door before speaking as if as an afterthought.
“After he’s made a full physical recovery, it would be beneficial for his health and mental wellbeing to have a follow-up check. I will be waiting for your message.”
And just like that she was out, disappearing like the ghost she was, leaving Hua Cheng with a heavy sense of unease in his gut. He knew, of course, what she was really referring to; that Xie Lian likely couldn’t bear children anymore and that he might need an omega friend to talk to about the horrors of it all.
Clutching his god’s hand in his, Hua Cheng stared at his face hollowly. He had done many, many shameful things in his life. Many atrocious, horrible, cruel acts. And yet, at this moment, in the light of those words, there was one singular thing that stood out as the most depraved of all of his ungodly acts.
He closed his eyes. A statue.
No. In fact, three statues.
During the years he had spent at the Tonglu Mountains, sealed off from anything but his own torment, Hua Cheng had created many statues of Xie Lian. Thousands of statues, in fact. There had been innocent statues and less innocent ones because Hua Cheng was a filthy, filthy alpha.
All his statues had been of Xie Lian alone—apart from one. Indeed, in the deepest, darkest part of the cave laid an embodiment of his unholiest desire: Xie Lian and himself with a child. A smiling family of three with no paths bound. Just love and happiness, forever.
If he wasn’t bound by his devotion to watch over his ill god, he would go there and obliterate those sacrilegious, sick statues right now, turn them into a pile of stone dust. After all, it had been nothing but a delusional, blasphemous, profane fantasy, carved during a moment of desperation.
But why was his dead heart hurting so much, then?
It took time, but finally Xie Lian’s fever broke and he opened his eyes, disoriented but finally awake. A wave of relief flooded Hua Cheng and he had no idea he could feel such joy. His name, a breathy San Lang, falling from Xie Lian’s lips as a raspy croak felt like he had ascended once again.
But then, his true identity, revealed.
Anxiety swirled inside him as he watched Xie Lian. How would he take the news? Would he be angry that Hua Cheng hadn’t told him the whole truth? Would he look at him with rage in his eyes for being deceived? Would he be disgusted to know Hua Cheng was a ghost? Would he stare at his eyepatch and think that he was—
Ugly
Ugly
Ugly
His head buzzed as he kept talking, making sure Xie Lian knew he was safe. But then, suddenly.
“Why would you spend all that time with me?” Xie Lian asked.
Hua Cheng was floored, because how hadn’t he realized that Hua Cheng would give him the world? The sun, the moon, the stars, his soul—absolutely everything. He was so taken aback that all that came out of his mouth was a riddled joke.
A joke.
Fuck. He wanted to die twice over.
Carefully schooling his expression he focused on Xie Lian. As they spoke, Hua Cheng slowly explicated on the happenings of the past moontime: the ashes, the wound, Xie Lian’s recovery forecast. He didn’t mention Jun Wu nor the Heavens, although he made a promise to himself to confess that he knew at some point soon. He wanted Xie Lian to be able to trust him wholly, totally, unconditionally.
He couldn’t smell Xie Lian, but he didn’t need scents to tell how distressed his omega felt from all the information. An idea hit him and that was how he found himself in the blanket treasury with Xie Lian, preening and drinking in the delighted expression on his omega’s face while doing his best to maintain his nonchalance, plastering an easy grin on his face even when Xie Lian babbled some nonsense about his beloved.
Oh, beloved, Hua Cheng thought, a powerful surge of possessiveness zapping through him. For a fraction of a moment he was overcome by a desire so large that he thought he would crumble under it.
He wanted to pull Xie Lian to his arms, make their mouths meet, push his tongue into his mouth and explore it to the fullest, revel in the gasps that his omega would make. He wanted to lay him down on the bed, strip him slowly, mercilessly kiss and caress every part of skin he could reach, treat him like the god he was. And once they were joined in the most intimate of ways, bodies entangled and with Hua Cheng buried deep inside him, he would make sure Xie Lian knew he was Hua Cheng’s and Hua Cheng’s only, that he knew that Hua Cheng would always keep him safe, always respect him, always cherish him, pamper him, adore him, listen to him, laugh with him, always love him, love him so fucking much it hurt—
Hua Cheng shook his head with disgust and made sure that laid-back smile was in place as they talked about this and that, about blankets and swords and what not. When Xie Lian found the Xianle silk blanket, the one Hua Cheng had hunted for decades just to have it ready for Xie Lian when the time came, he felt such an immense sense of pride that he would have found it ridiculous had it been any other situation. In fact, the feeling was so brilliant that it almost concealed the solid ugly pulsing in his very marrow which continuously told him what a useless, greedy, rotten fuck he was.
Finally, carrying all the blankets with him, Hua Cheng helped Xie Lian to his bedroom. Xie Lian leaned on him for support and Hua Cheng’s heart soared. The continuous tug and pull of wretched emotions of all sorts was starting to get to him, and after helping Xie Lian to build a nest—he was helping His Highness to build a nest!—he was feeling winded in a very unfamiliar way, ready to retreat, recover and regain his sanity.
But Xie Lian had other ideas.
“Won’t you join me?”
And just like that the reality as he had known it tipped and tilted, fractured and came tumbling apart.
His god wanted Hua Cheng to join him in his nest? In his nest? This was not a thin mattress in a faraway hut. This was a nest. Nests were sacred places for all omegas, their private places of comfort, places that soothed their souls and made them comfortable. Hua Cheng’s hands trembled and his stomach twisted. It took all of his willpower to keep his own scent in check because otherwise he would have reeked of such deep yearning and obsession that he would have surely scared Xie Lian away.
He slowly got into the nest, his beloved lying next to him, soft and wonderful, pretty and powerful, not at all scared, seeking comfort from Hua Cheng.
From Hua Cheng?
He couldn’t fathom it at all.
“Scent me? Just this once?”
The words made him freeze. He had no idea what he had done to earn this. To be let into his god’s nest. To be allowed to scent his god. Oh fuck. He would die because of this man, again and again, no doubt. Xie Lian would drive him insane and he would welcome it with open arms.
With those thoughts he shuffled closer and nuzzled the neck of his beloved, engulfed by such a strong wave of bliss that it threatened to knock him thrice over to the moon.
Xie Lian woke up the next morning, still light-headed from his sickness. Feeling groggy, he started trashing against what he initially thought to be strong bindings around his body, panic flooding in.
Where was he? Was he tied up? What had happened?
“Gege. Calm down.”
He took a shuddering breath just as a soothing scent of exotic flowers and spice floated to his nostrils, lulling him into a sense of deep safety. His body relaxed under that strong hold in a way he wasn’t accustomed to, some deeply buried omega instinct in him making itself known.
“San Lang,” he uttered, finally remembering where he was and who he was with. The next thing he realized was that those bindings were actually Hua Cheng’s strong arms, and that they were embracing quite intimately. In a nest.
In his nest.
Xie Lian all but squeaked, face red with embarrassment.
“San Lang!” He wiggled out of Hua Cheng’s arms and refused to meet the alpha’s eyes, feeling miserable. “I’m so sorry.”
“Gege—” Hua Cheng started but Xie Lian interrupted him.
“San Lang.” He forced himself to turn around and face the tall ghost alpha who was currently lounging in his nest with him. Xie Lian’s breath caught a little; Hua Cheng was just so wildly handsome and with a deep aura of confidence and ruthless power about him. And yet, under all that, there was something distinctively San Lang, the youth he had started to feel so comfortable around.
“Please accept my apologies,” he said. “I shouldn’t have forced you into the nest with me.” Now that lucidity was settling in, he felt terrible. He truly must have been half-mindless the day before, having all but used Hua Cheng’s endless hospitality as an excuse to lure him into his nest with him—after making him take care of him for the whole duration of his sickness, that is.
His stomach cramped painfully from embarrassment. And Hua Cheng had his noble, gracious, special omega already so just how uncomfortable must Xie Lian have made him feel?
Hua Cheng stared at him with an unreadable look in his dark eye. “Gege, don’t,” he uttered and sounded pained.
“San Lang has been so good to me,” Xie Lian mumbled awkwardly. “I feel I have… misused that sentiment.”
For a moment Hua Cheng looked like he wanted to reach out with his hand and touch him, accompanied by a slight twitch of his plush lips, but in the end he only sighed. “You have done no such thing, gege. Whatever you need, let me provide.”
Xie Lian blinked at the words. “You’re too kind,” he whispered. “But thank you. I accept your offer. But only until I’ve recovered.” And figured out what to do next, he added in his mind. Maybe, if he requested very nicely, Hua Cheng would be willing to help him with the ashes. Apparently he had gone through all the trouble to fetch them from the hut. Of course, Xie Lian didn’t have anything to compensate that help with but he would figure out something. He would pay back for this and that and everything in between, even if it took forever.
Hua Cheng smiled at him and Xie Lian spotted a hint of a sharp alpha fang peeking from between his lips.
“Of course,” the alpha said amiably. “Only until you’ve made a full recovery.”
Xie Lian didn’t miss the way he emphasized the word ‘full’, but nodded and smiled anyway for the first time that morning, slightly unsure of how to proceed.
Luckily Hua Cheng seemed to know exactly what he needed. “I believe gege requested to take a bath today? The pool is ready, I will help you get there.”
Xie Lian perked up. A bath. A real bath and not just a river. Just the idea unknotted some deep bundle of anxiety that lingered somewhere deep in his body. “Thank you.” He smiled at Hua Cheng warmly, barely able to contain his giddiness. “Bath sounds like a wonderful idea.”
Hua Cheng shot him a smile and if Xie Lian had known better, he could have sworn there was a hefty dose of relief there. He shook his head, because nothing made sense. He had so many questions from the general hows and whys to a very specific why me, but maybe, a bath first.
He scrambled up carefully, mindful of the sorry state of his body after being sick for so long. The small stroll they had taken yesterday had done nothing to get his blood flowing better.
Hua Cheng helped him and Xie Lian found himself leaning on him for support like it was the most natural thing to do. Shameless, he scolded himself, because not everything in the world revolved around Xie Lian. He had been taught that much during these past centuries.
“What is this place?” he asked as the slowly walked around the beautiful building of red and gold, all wooden glory and wonders. Somehow Xie Lian got the idea that it was a golden pavilion.
“Paradise Manor,” said Hua Cheng. “Does gege like it?”
“It’s very beautiful,” Xie Lian acknowledged, smiling softly. “Is it your home?”
Hua Cheng gave him a look that tingled his insides. Xie Lian got a whiff of the alphas alluring, calming, wonderful scent and stuttered a breath.
“Just a residence,” Hua Cheng answered.
Xie Lian laughed, but stopped immediately and gasped, his insides not still quite having caught up with his conscious state. “What’s the difference?”
Hua Cheng quirked a smile. “Easy. A residence is where you spend time. Alone. A home is what you share with someone.”
Xie Lian nodded slowly. “I know what you mean,” he said quietly, thinking about his clinical, dull residence at the Heavenly Capital, the place that had seen so much of his angry tears that it was a wonder it wasn’t flooding already.
Hua Cheng looked at him and the aura around him intensified, pure ghost qi, bewitching and dangerous, but somehow Xie Lian wasn’t afraid.
“Your hut felt more like a home.”
The words caught him unawares. That hut in the outskirts of Puqi Village? That rickety ragged shack? There had been nothing to call it home except…
Company.
That relaxed, easy atmosphere of smiles and support between them, despite all the sorrows of his life.
Slowly, very slowly, he forced himself to meet Hua Cheng’s gaze. Time stood still. Xie Lian exhaled.
“I know what you mean,” he then said, and for a moment it seemed that all the candles around the flickered with unexpected joy.
Notes:
My favorite fanfic trope: oblivious idiots in love with an infernal amount of mutual pining. ”Oh. What is this feeling? But no, I can’t. He doesn’t want me. I’m *enter some random nonsense*. But why does he keep sending me those looks?” I'm sure you can tell. Foot spa and another Ghost City tour coming up in the next chapter!
Also, there was this one line here where Hua Cheng says that nothing can take Xie Lian away from him. He's absolutely not going to pull a Jun Wu. If Xie Lian told him that yes, ultimately he wanted to leave, Hua Cheng would let him go even though it would probably drive him mad with sorrow. (and just keep protecting him from the distance with a heavy heart and undying devotion)
My soc med: @sodapopblitz
P.s. I’ve been listening to Dies Irae feat. Black Prez by Apache while writing this fic. That’s the Hua Cheng of this fic for me.
Chapter 14
Notes:
Thank you so much for all the lovely comments and reactions! Your support means so much and I really, really appreciate it <3 Also, I can't believe it's been 3.5 months already since I started this fic. It feels like yesterday.
Some typos might linger since I only edited this twice (haha) but I have a busy weekend ahead and wanted to post it now when I have time :) Please forgive me if you spot something! I'll prolly do a reread early next week.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Here, gege.” Hua Cheng didn’t look at him when he opened a surprisingly humble-looking door to what Xie Lian assumed was the bathing area. “I'll help you inside. Do you think you’ll be alright by yourself after that or shall I send a servant?”
Xie Lian nodded, but immediately realized the gesture didn’t really mean anything. He tried to listen to his body and the signals it was trying to send him, only to find the connection slightly blurry at the moment, probably due to the aftereffects of his long illness. “Thank you, San Lang.” He gave his host a reassuring smile. “I’m sure I’ll be fine by myself.”
Hua Cheng nodded, looking satisfied. “Good. I will be here nonetheless, so gege only needs to call out and I’ll send help.”
“Of course, San Lang,” Xie Lian acknowledged and followed Hua Cheng inside.
As the door closed behind them and sealed the baths from the rest of Paradise Manor, Xie Lian immediately felt the moisture in the air, his skin softening under the humidity. It was just the right amount, definitely not too much to drench his clothes but enough to send a message to his muscles to just relax.
Hua Cheng led him a few steps forward and behind a bamboo partition where a smooth, wooden bench with a clothes rack next to it was waiting for him.
Xie Lian immediately stopped to stare.
“San Lang,” he said, as if the name itself was self-explanatory.
“Mmhm,” replied Hua Cheng lazily, helping Xie Lian to sit on the bench.
“That robe…” Xie Lian noted dumbly, staring at a crimson red robe made of the finest silks, currently hanging on the rack. There was a black belt next to it and a black inner robe, too.
Everything looked like exactly his size, like they had been bought with Xie Lian in mind. He blinked, feeling confused, but Hua Cheng only smiled at him charmingly, as if there was nothing unusual about the fact that he had clothes in Xie Lian’s size just lying around.
“I’m sorry, gege. This San Lang wasn’t prepared with gege’s signature white robes. I know it’s extremely selfish of me to assume that red would be to gege’s liking, but maybe this one will suffice before we’ll get you new ones.”
Xie Lian opened his mouth but nothing came out, and so he merely continued to stare at the luxurious item before him like he was seeing something so pretty and fine for the first time in his life. And truly, it felt like the first time since the last time had been so many mortal lifetimes ago that Xie Lian had already lost count.
“San Lang,” he croaked. “But surely I can’t…” A sodden feeling of unease sank to the bottom of his belly. He would probably never be able to pay Hua Cheng back if he accepted all this. And yet, staring at the robe, unholy greediness rose inside him; he wanted that, wanted to feel nice and warm and comfortable for once, wanted to be surrounded by something pretty and safe and secure—
“Nonsense, gege. It’s the same than the blankets and pillows—a gift. Please.”
Hua Cheng didn’t say anything else, but suddenly it hit Xie Lian.
Of course.
His current robes were infested with his sickness so of course Hua Cheng wanted to get rid of them. Everything in his Manor was so beautiful and lavish that Xie Lian stood out like a sore thumb. He felt his face flush with embarrassment and turned his head away so that Hua Cheng wouldn’t see. “In that case, I accept your gift,” he said quietly.
However, when he dared to sneak a peek at Hua Cheng, he was surprised by the surprised look on his face, the tiny twitch of his lips and the clenching of his jaw, accompanied by the widening of his dark eye. The expression was gone so fast that Xie Lian wasn’t sure if he had in fact imagined the whole thing.
“Thank you,” Hua Cheng then said, voice dripping with raw delight.
Xie Lian laughed uneasily. “For what, San Lang?”
Hua Cheng chuckled. “For making this San Lang happy, is all,” he answered enigmatically.
Since Xie Lian couldn’t quite grasp the true meaning of what had transpired between them, he just shrugged and started to remove his old robes, untying his belt first. The silver chains in Hua Cheng’s boots chimed immediately as the ghost moved.
“I will leave you now,” Hua Cheng said in an oddly strangled tone. “Are you sure you’ll be alright by yourself?”
Xie Lian got up and tentatively moved his body, putting his weight from one leg to another. His outer robe fell open and Hua Cheng’s eye grew round. Xie Lian smiled. “Yes. Thank you, San Lang.”
“Good,” Hua Cheng noted shortly. “By the bath, there is everything you should need. Oils, scented and natural, as well as an assortment of soaps, both neutral and those sensitive ones specifically for omegas. A few types of washing cloths in case you’d like to use one.”
Xie Lian shook his head, feeling astounded. Such opulence, such luxury! He swore he didn’t have all this even back then in Xianle. An assortment of soaps for omegas? He hummed a small laugh before remembering that all this was surely for Hua Cheng’s chosen omega. The thought left a stale aftertaste in his mouth and he mentally whacked himself. He had just woken up from a long illness; there was no time for such frivolous thoughts, especially with the ashes still in their fragile powdery form. On top of all that, Xie Lian didn’t even know what had happened in the Heavens during his sickness and whether he had a swarm of gods in his footsteps or not.
It was simply way too early to relax his guard and dream of niceties.
He was so deep in his thoughts that he hadn’t even realized that Hua Cheng had vanished. Humming a tiny sorrowful tune, Xie Lian undressed completely and slowly walked to the bath, mindful of his current weakened state. His legs felt better than the day before but they were wobbly still. He realized with disdain that he had also lost a lot of muscle, and Xie Lian had never been overtly muscular to begin with. Omegas rarely were, but even compared to most, he was slight and delicate for a male. His body, however, hid covert strength, packed in his abs and his thighs, his arms that masterfully formed signs and wielded a sword.
The thought of his changed body made him angry. What he had previously appreciated looked and felt disfigured to him.
Tainted.
Closing his eyes he stepped into the bath which was just the right temperature for him. Knowing Hua Cheng, he couldn’t have expected anything less. All but gliding down the stairs until the water was all the way up until his chest, Xie Lian found his fingers unconsciously move to his belly and trace the ragged edges of the wicked, large scar that adorned it now.
Unfortunately, he had glimpsed the scar before although he hoped he wouldn’t have. It was so, so ugly. Unpleasant, unsightly and absolutely unattractive. It reminded him of that time and those scars, and it made him want to throw up.
Suddenly panicked, Xie Lian hugged himself clumsily and covered the scar with his arms. It made him feel a tiny bit better, because at least now he couldn’t see anything, couldn’t feel anything else but the warm water rippling around him in soothing, gentle motions. It was so easy to pretend that the scar wasn’t there, that he was, in fact, back at Xianle and none of the horrors of his life had ever happened. That he was still untarnished and untouched.
Gods. He hated his scar. He fucking hated it so much, because while he knew that it would fade to nothing, his skin healing itself inside out, he could still feel it; see it when he closed his eyes, imagine why it was there.
Ugly, tainted, wrecked Xie Lian.
—Poor Xianle. I will make you feel better—
Xie Lian shuddered, quickly wrenching his attention back to the present and the amazing, wonderful bath he was allowed to have. He should make haste, it wasn’t polite to keep his host waiting.
Hua Cheng was waiting for him outside the door, lounging against the wall and tapping a rhythm with his feet. However, he stilled the moment Xie Lian emerged in his red robes, face still dusted pink from the humidity and hair curling adorably.
“How was your bath?” For some reason, Hua Cheng sounded a bit off.
Xie Lian gave him a small smile. “I cannot thank you enough, San Lang. I truly feel better now.” He sighed. “And I’m so sorry. I’ve been such a burden.”
Hua Cheng shook his head and stood straight. “Nonsense, gege. You’ve been very sick. Please don’t consider yourself a burden. That's not what it is at all.”
Xie Lian hummed and took the arm that was offered to him without even thinking about it. His heart plummeted when he realized how easily it had come to him, to hold onto Hua Cheng like that. He wanted to shrink away but that would have been impolite. Hence, he steadied his heart and let his hand rest on the fine fabric of Hua Cheng’s robe, feeling the muscle underneath that coiled and flexed as they walked.
He was just about to speak when a loud grumble filled the air.
Hua Cheng turned to look at him and Xie Lian had the audacity to blush for it was his belly that was telling them both and probably half of the servants, too, that he had gone without food for too long.
Hua Cheng snickered. “Gege is hungry?”
“I…” Xie Lian looked at him helplessly. “Ah, yes. It’s probably been a while.”
“Indeed.” A dark look passed Hua Cheng’s face although it remained mirthful. “Gege is extraordinary in his bearing of things. It doesn’t mean that gege should go without food and care.”
“I was sick,” Xie Lian said, somewhat weakly, not really understanding the sudden admonishing tone in Hua Cheng’s voice.
“Mm. And now that you’re not, you need nourishment to get stronger. Come, let’s eat.”
It was said in a tone that left no space for objections, and Xie Lian found himself being led to a large dining space with plush mats on the floor with low dining tables in between them. And as if that wasn’t all, there were already dishes on the tables, so many sorts that Xie Lian simply couldn’t remember the last time he had seen this much food. It wasn’t that he had been kept in hunger in the Heavenly Capital, because what use was there for him if he was sick with hunger. But this…
This was something else.
Xie Lian had thought about it before but never had it been more obvious: Hua Cheng was obviously extremely rich, possibly the richest being in all the three realms. And here he was, dining Xie Lian and forcing him to sit down on one of the mats—the thickest, most beautiful one, of course—as if Xie Lian wasn’t a fallen god and a broken omega whose only worth was his weight in trash.
He all but froze when Hua Cheng kneeled before him and started serving him dishes, fish and pork, steamed buns and vegetables cut into intricate shapes, making his plate look like it was filled with a rainbow of food.
“San Lang,” he uttered, urging the handsome ghost to stand up and stop treating him like this. Like he was important.
“Is gege comfortable? Are the dishes to your liking?” Hua Cheng asked as if there was nothing wrong with the fact that he, a Ghost King, was kneeling on the floor and serving Xie Lian with a content expression on his face. “Do you need anything else?”
Xie Lian felt faint. His life had turned upside down and inside out in such a brief period of time that he was finding it difficult to adjust. “Everything is perfect,” he mumbled, hesitantly reaching for a steamed bun under Hua Cheng’s watchful eye. He took a bite and—gods—it was so good that Xie Lian could have melted on spot.
Hua Cheng didn’t say anything, but he looked extremely pleased, continuing to serve him dishes and sweet drinks, accompanied by a cup of perfectly brewed tea. He was so close that Xie Lian could smell him, that soothing, tantalizing, scent of him that filled his nostrils and made the scent glands on his neck tingle in a peculiar manner.
Finally, lulled by Hua Cheng’s scent and the lovely fullness in his belly, his eyelids started to droop. Before even realizing it, he had nodded off, head lolling to the side, only to collide with Hua Cheng’s solid shoulder.
“You are tired,” Hua Cheng said solemnly. “I’m sorry. This one has exhausted gege.”
“No, no,” said Xie Lian. “I’m just… I can’t remember the last time I’ve had such a lovely bath and such a wonderful meal. It’s been a long time, even though the Heavens—” He snapped his mouth shut, suddenly completely awake. Scrambling away from Hua Cheng, he merely stared at the alpha, feeling the ugly thrum of humiliation in his bones.
“Gege,” Hua Cheng said slowly. He pursed his lips together as if considering his next words very carefully. “I know everything.”
Xie Lian shuddered and closed his eyes. “You mean…”
“Yeah. Everything, gege. It’s alright, there’s nothing to hide.”
Daring to open his eyes, Xie Lian tried to get a grasp of the myriad of feelings that churned inside him at Hua Cheng’s admission. Embarrassment, humiliation, anger, rage, and then—hope. It was nothing but a flicker, but a flicker regardless. If only he could make Hua Cheng his ally in trying to defeat Jun Wu.
But he could never dare to ask such a thing.
“Then why aren’t you disgusted?” The words left his mouth before he managed to suck them back inside. “And how do you know?”
“Gege,” Hua Cheng sighed, his hand twitching as if trying to reach out. Xie Lian shrank away, unsure of the meaning of the gesture. Hua Cheng’s expression revealed no feelings as he cocked his head, inky black hair spilling over his shoulder as a waterfall of black silky threads. “You could never disgust me,” he then said with a hoarse voice filled with conviction. “Never, gege. Please, believe me.”
“Why do you even care?” Xie Lian blurted, the question he had been thinking about finally escaping his lips. He inched closer and looked deep into Hua Cheng’s dark eye. “Am I someone you know, other than 'His Highness'? Because sometimes I feel like I know you. This city, it reminds me of Xianle.” He swallowed hard. “San Lang. Are you someone from Xianle? Have we met before? Did I—” his voice broke and desperation crept into his mouth. “Did you die because of—Ah! San Lang! What am I even saying?”
He suddenly pulled away and gave a slightly hysterical giggle. “It’s extremely rude to ask a ghost about their life. I’m truly sorry. Please accept my apology.”
Then he kowtowed slightly, only to be immediately pulled up by a wild-eyed Hua Cheng. “Gege. Get up.”
It was a command that held such weight that Xie Lian could only obey, the omega in him acting as if in a trance. He straightened his back stiffly and spoke. “Will you even… accept my apology?”
Hua Cheng sighed, sounding pained. “Of course, gege. Apology accepted. But only if you accept my apology for using my spy to figure out who is to blame for your situation.”
Xie Lian closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. “I accept your apology, too, San Lang.” Then he actually laughed. “I can’t believe you have a spy in the Heavenly Capital! No one else would dare!”
“That’s nothing, gege,” Hua Cheng chuckled, his good mood returning. “Although I do need gege to know that it seems that my reputation in the Heavens is perceived as rather… threatening. And that I have every intention of keeping it that way.”
“Mm,” Xie Lian acknowledged. “Luckily it seems that I don’t match well with the Heavens, either. Anymore.”
At the words, the mood shifted again into something more somber. However, their good-natured banter continued. Xie Lian let his body fall down gently to lie on the mats, mindful of his expensive robes and not to get them all rumpled.
“At the Gambler’s Den,” Hua Cheng said after they had talked about this and that for a long while. “Gege mentioned there is a ghost you need to find.”
Xie Lian nodded. “Yes. Respectable Demon Ash-Maker.”
Hua Cheng clicked his tongue. “I see. And I assume this is to do with the ashes I got from the hut?”
“Yes,” Xie Lian said plainly. “I’m sure San Lang has already guessed but they are the ashes of the fetus. And the placenta. The healer who performed the abortion said that the placenta hosts the alpha’s spiritual powers. Those are now sealed within those ashes.” He breathed out a long sigh. “Of course, it’s nothing but a fragment. Still, it’s all I’ve got. My only chance.”
“I see,” Hua Cheng said contemplatively. “It makes sense. Gege, don’t worry. I can indeed locate Respectable Demon Ash-Maker but gege is in no shape to travel yet—neither by foot nor through an array.”
“But—” Xie Lian started.
“No buts,” Hua Cheng said in a stern, quiet voice. “Gege will stay here and recover. The ashes are safe here. If someone would try to dare to take them, I would be alerted instantly. It's impossible to steal the things that are in my house.”
Hua Cheng gave him a peculiar smile and for a brief minute Xie Lian felt hot, wondering what the alpha truly meant. He laughed to cover his flustered state. “Alright, alright. San Lang wins this round. We’ll go after I’m feeling better.”
“Good. And if gege is afraid of those meddling pests from the Heavens, don’t. You are safe here.”
Xie Lian nodded hesitantly. He was starting to get the idea of what Hua Cheng, wearing the skin of that young human boy, had meant when he had said Ghost City was the safest place for Xie Lian. “I wonder if they’re looking…” he muttered.
Hua Cheng’s tone was sharp but not unkind. “Gege. Don’t worry about it. Just focus on getting better.”
Xie Lian gave him a hesitant smile, because how could he not? No one had ever treated him like this, kindly and with respect. As an equal. A warm feeling settled in his belly, and he thought that even if all this ended up being a dream and he would wake up in the morning in his sorry hut, he would cherish all these memories.
The next morning he woke up, only to realize it hadn’t been a dream. He was in his nest with Hua Cheng next to him, his scent filling Xie Lian with bliss and allowing him to drift back to sleep without a worry, his hand gently grasping the fold of Hua Cheng’s robe to hold onto.
His own expensive red robes were rumpled.
Days passed and Xie Lian started to recover. Hua Cheng was by his side at all times and they walked and talked, so much that Xie Lian was getting dizzy from it all. It had been so long since anyone had listened to him talk, or even wanted to, and something around his heart ached at the thought.
One night Xie Lian made his way to the garden close to Paradise Manor. They had strolled there, Hua Cheng telling him about the flowers and how he had gotten them. Xie Lian had been absolutely blown away: thousands and thousands of flowers blooming brilliantly in the mellow darkness of Ghost City, illuminated by decorative lanterns that had been placed here and there seemingly haphazardly and yet not. In fact, the whole garden was nothing but a work of art, an immersive experience unlike anything Xie Lian had ever witnessed before.
The walk to the garden from Paradise Manor took less than an incense stick of time so Xie Lian had decided to go without telling Hua Cheng who had been away on his city lord business for once. There would probably be a butterfly watching him anyway.
Walking slowly, he let his thoughts absorb him—a rare moment of solitude that wasn’t wholly unwelcome yet felt like a thorn on his side, a distantly stabbing foreign ache of longing. It was funny, he mused, how important Hua Cheng had become to him. Scary, even, if he was being completely truthful. When the handsome alpha smiled at him, his fangs peeking from behind his lips, Xie Lian was sometimes hit with the visceral feeling of wanting them on his neck. Sometimes the feeling was accompanied by a tidal wave of images of himself and Hua Cheng, their bodies bared and entangled in a very intimate way.
Xie Lian frowned at the thought, forcing all the shopeless fantasies to the farthest corners of his mind. Just thinking about Hua Cheng like this, like an omega imagining his alpha, felt like Xie Lian was profaning his friend.
A distant feeling of disappointment and ugly jealousy engulfed him all of a sudden. Hua Cheng deserved better; an omega who wasn’t broken, who was beautiful and delightful, graceful and witty. Someone who wasn’t scarred the way Xie Lian was, someone who was less a burden.
Someone who was able to give him children.
Feeling moody, Xie Lian wondered what kind of an omega Hua Cheng’s beloved really was. Pretty, petite, dainty and with nice birthing hips? Or strong, lithe and more masculine? Silent or talkative, obedient or sassy?
But whatever he imagined, Xie Lian just couldn’t figure out Hua Cheng’s type. He immediately berated himself for actually even letting himself think about such idiotic things, because what was it except nonsense and pure, masochistic torture.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
That ugly black feeling gnawed at his insides as he finally arrived at the garden. Luckily the shine of the flowers was enough to make him feel better, and he took it to himself to slowly make his way deeper into the paths between the intricate flower arrangements and small meadows, reaching out to touch some of the flowers as he passed the by. A twinkling gentle laughter rang in the air as if the flowers were giggling and laughing, adamant on bringing him joy. Maybe they weren’t flowers at all but flower spirits, thought Xie Lian, unawares of the content smile that crossed his face. Will-o-wisps floated in the air and the scenery was so beautiful that Xie Lian felt an immense want to cry.
All of a sudden the hairs at the back of his neck stood and his skin prickled, and he immediately knew he was being watched. However, there was no sense of danger so he merely stood there, weaving his hand through the flowers, the white luminous sleeve of his robe billowing lightly with every movement. The feel of the flowers was soft against his skin, tickling and wonderful, and for the first time in ages he felt so, so alive.
Smiling, he felt his cheeks flush from the pleasure of just being here, in this very moment, without any worry in the world, without anyone chasing after him, without uncertainties about whether he would have food or not, shelter or not.
His stomach flipped with joy because he just felt so safe.
With the smile still on his face, he slowly turned around and locked his eyes with Hua Cheng who was observing him silently from the small red wooden bridge in the garden, wearing an utterly entranced expression on his face.
Xie Lian held his gaze, feeling the flush on his cheeks become a deeper shade, dropping lower towards his neck, maybe even lower still. His heart beat wildly, fast and pitiful, as he regarded Hua Cheng in his majestic maple red robes with a thick cape effortlessly draped around his broad shoulders, silver vambraces shining in the lantern lights and the small red coral bead at the end of his hair glinting.
He was so handsome. Xie Lian's heart jumped.
Neither spoke a word but the flowers around them laughed and giggled while will-o-wisps danced.The lanterns were pretty as was Hua Cheng, and for some odd reason Xie Lian felt at home.
Notes:
Oh wait, what is this schmoop all of a sudden? 🫠
But guys, do you know the feeling when you're looking at your characters and being like, "now kiss!" and they're just being difficult? Literally, I wake up in the morning and dream of all the smut I'm going to write for this fic but then those two are like that, all sighs and gazes and yearning. Also sigh, no foot spa yet.
On another note, I'm organizing a relaxed coffee shop AU event this month. I will write a hualian omegaverse fic but in a modern setting for that, so consider this a heads-up for those who're interested. Less angst, more slice-of-life boogaloo :)
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