Chapter Text
"Just who the hell do you think I am?" Simon said, wiping some blood off his cheek. He didn't really understand what the ring was saying- but taking it felt like disrespect to his opponent, who had put up a real fight. Plus, that seemed like more work. All he really wanted was just to take a load off and catch his breath.
The ring glowed brightly green and vanished. Redistributed to someone else, maybe? Simon didn't really mind. He plucked a flower growing nearby and laid it on top of where the White Lantern had fallen.
However, just as he was turning around to leave, maybe go back and tell everyone what he had seen, he felt a clenching in the pit of his stomach. Simon fumbled for his Core Drill, but it was whipping wildly all over the place in some unfathomably strong wind. He let out a cry of surprise, readying himself for another fight- but then he stopped dead, and stumbled, realizing he was somewhere else entirely.
"Huh." Simon adjusted his glasses, looking around. He was standing on polished wood flooring, fancy lamps dangling from the ceiling. The open floorplan revealed a clean kitchen, a long wooden dining table, and tall windows that overlooked a blurry, indistinct cityscape below. "Pretty swanky place."
"Well well well, what do we have here?" Simon turned, and saw something that at first set all his nerves off- it looked a lot like a Beastman, with emphasis on the beast. The figure was somewhere between a dragon and a turtle, towering above Simon by at least four feet. A mane of bright orange hair flowed down its neck, and a thick green spiked shell adorned its back. "You just blow in from winner town?"
"What are you?" Simon asked suspiciously, reaching for the Core Drill. It felt warm and comfortable in his hands, responding to his touch. He didn't really want to burst open this nice apartment, but he'd do it if he had to.
The possible Beastman threw back their head and laughed. They had a gravelly, powerful voice, and when they snickered, a few tongues of flame shot out of their open mouth.
"You've got spirit, kid!" The dragon turtle chortled. "I see that. But you must not know who you're talking to, huh? Name's Bowser! King of the Koopas! Tyrant of the Mushroom Kingdom!"
"Those... sure were a lot of words you just said." Simon blinked a few times in confusion. "Bowser, right? I'm Simon the Digger. Also, where the hell are we?"
"Gwahaha!" Bowser laughed that same laugh again. "You really don't know me, do ya? Can't blame you- nobody else who's ended up here seems to have heard of Mario, or the Mushroom Kingdom, or Princess Peach." Bowser got a bit of a dreamy look in his eyes when he said the name Princess Peach. It reminded Simon of how he had been told he looked when he talked about Nia.
"I could tell you where we are, but I think it'd be better to give you the grand tour! Come on, then!"
Bowser turned around, his thick tail sweeping the floor, and lumbered off down the nearby hallway, his every step shaking the ground beneath him. He didn't seem like he was going to wait up, so Simon figured he might as well follow the Koopa King for the moment.
As they walked, Bowser explained what was going on. He had also been drawn into a fight- against some guy named Doctor Eggman. Like Simon, he had won his battle, as had everyone else here. Now they had been transported to this apartment, as some kind of reward for their success. By who or what, Bowser didn't know or seem to particularly care.
"Can we leave?" Simon said, thinking of his gang, of Nia, of the people he had left behind. "I mean, this place is pretty damn sweet and all, but are we, like... in prison?"
"Hmm... never really thought about it, to be honest." Bowser shrugged. "But I don't see why you couldn't. Me personally, I think it's a pretty good deal. I've got everything I need here, my family, my minions... the only thing I miss is those pesky plumbers." The king admitted.
Simon considered this. He found Bowser an interesting person, at least, and knowing they had the freedom to go back whenever they wanted wasn't half bad. Simon had been wanting a real break for ages now, this could finally be his chance. Besides, if whoever controlled this place tried to keep him contained- he had broken out of worse traps before.
"You seem like you've seen a lot, Salmon." Bowser observed. Before Simon could even open his mouth, the king kept talking. "You remind me of an old enemy of mine... Mario! Ooh, just saying his name gets my blood pumping! You've got that heroic look about you."
"Well, I am a hero, I'd say." Simon grinned, sticking his hands in his pockets as they kept walking down what had to be the world's longest hallway. He stopped in front of a door marked with a black masquerade mask. "Hey, who's this belong to?"
"Oh yeah, that's Joker's room. He's part of this gang of do-gooders..." Bowser scratched his head with a long, blunt claw, grunting as he searched the depths of his memory. "The Phantom Menaces, I think?"
"Phantom Thieves." The teenager who opened the door was tall and lanky, with jet-black hair and a determination in his eyes. His eyes seemed to be boring into Simon's own, but after a tense moment, he smiled and extended a gloved hand. "I'm Amamiya Ren, but just call me Joker. That cat seems to be out of the bag now, anyway."
"Simon the Digger! I get the feeling we're going to get along just fine, Joker." He took the teen's hand and they shook on it. Joker's eyes still held that intense focus- that willpower. He'd make a great pilot, Simon thought. There'd be time for that later.
The sound of an alarm rung out through the halls. Bowser pulled out a phone seemingly from thin air and dismissed the timer.
"Looks like it's lunch time!" The Koopa King exclaimed. "This'll be a great opportunity for you to meet the others, Salmon!"
"I thought his name was Simon." Joker raised an eyebrow, but Bowser just harrumphed and walked away. The teen sighed. "Don't mind him, he's not the brightest bulb in the bunch. And way too full of himself. But he's strong enough to make up for it."
Simon waved flippantly. He had dealt with plenty of arrogant people in his time. Some would even say he was pretty egotistical himself.
While Bowser went to fetch the others, Simon and Joker sat down at the table. "Don't sit at the head, Bowser hates people taking his spot," Joker warned him, in a tone that suggested that mistake had been made before. Simon shrugged, flopping onto the left middle chair.
"What's for dinner?" Simon inquired, to which his only response was a cryptic "Whatever you want."
The others filed in. Bowser led the charge, followed by a mustached muscular man in a red and white suit, looking morose, a bearded guy with ashy skin who seemed equally down in the dumps, a masked figure clad in black with glowing green eyes, what looked to be a walking suit of greenish armor smelling of brimstone, and finally a sullen younger man, dragging his feet, his face covered in stitches and his grey hair greasy and unkempt.
"Those chromatic abominations won't be gracing us with their presence tonight?" The ashen man said, finding his seat across from Simon. He had an elegant, mature accent that the Digger couldn't quite place.
"I dunno." Bowser grunted, pointing a claw at Joker. "Hey, Phantom Menace, it's your turn to cook dinner tonight."
Joker took it with grace, slightly inclining his head as he stood up and walked to the kitchen.
"Spicy Drumsticks!" Bowser bellowed. Joker nodded and tossed some chicken onto a pan. Simon was sure it hadn't been there before.
Noticing his confusion, the green-eyed figure nudged Simon and spoke in a voice even more gravelly than Bowser's. His tone was less commanding and arrogant, more calm and imperious.
"The kitchen seems to generate anything we want to eat." The man explained. "Military rations for me, please."
"You know, you don't have to limit yourself to the same thing every time." The man in the red and white suit said. "Sushi, if you wouldn't mind."
"I like things to stay consistent, Nolan." The man's eyes flashed a bit brighter. "Though I suppose you wouldn't know anything about that?"
The red and white suited man, (Nolan?) gripped his fork so tightly it bent in half, but said nothing.
"I'll get some curry." Simon said. In truth, he would've taken just about anything in that moment. His mouth was watering at the prospect of eating a good homecooked meal- he had been wandering the world eating whatever he could find for years now.
"Greek style olives and fish." The ashen man said seriously, his eyes fixated on the tablecloth.
"I don't care." The grey-haired boy, who had been so quiet Simon had nearly forgotten he was there, whined. "This is so boring! I don't want to be sitting here with you noobs."
"Now, sport, let's try to think positive here." Bowser chided. "Mr. Joker is doing something very nice for us here, so let's treat 'em with proper respect, alright?"
"Stop treating me like some baby! Compared to the rest of you, I'm a gamer god!" He yelled in response. "When can I get my Decay back?"
"Maybe once you apologize for trying to disintegrate my axe." The ashen skinned man grumbled quietly.
Simon hadn't known he was signing up for all this strange interpersonal drama when he came here. That exit was looking more and more tempting... but at the same time, he and Joker had really hit it off, and the whole situation was kind of mesmerizing, in the same way a collapsing building held your attention. Besides, Simon was a Digger- he didn't give up just because of some trying circumstances. Maybe he could even help out these people, somehow.
"Okay, let's all just relax." Joker said, a twinge of nervousness in his voice. "Shigiraki, you don't have to eat if you don't want to. Bowser's just trying to help. I've almost got food ready, so if we can-"
"WOO! WOO WOO, WOO!" Shrill, overlapping cries of joy drew everyone's attention. The ashen man cursed in some foreign language.
"Oh, joy." Al grumbled. Simon turned his chair to the hallway, and saw a flood of brightly colored, deformed bean looking things appear. "Those damn Fall Guys decided to show up after all."