My Improbable

by stipulativeTzigane

Summary:

So I just found this leatherbound waterlogged bulletjournal in the crick in my backyard. And after lettign it dry and stuff, I looked threw it and found the notes/ideas of this guy named “Dr Cecil HH Hills”. For some stupid kids adventure books he’s titled “Yacht Plan 246”. So like this is a story about 2 punky ‘brothers’ and their rad new friend and the mysteries they solve!

Chapter 1: Introduction

Notes:

DNi: bigots, fascists, people not committed to the bit, and dave strider stands.

AN: Hi, Hello HI! So I just found this leatherbound waterlogged bulletjournal in the crick in my backyard. And after lettign it dry and stuff, I looked threw it and found the notes/ideas of this guy named “Dr Cecil HH Hills”. For some stupid kids adventure books he’s titled “Yacht Plan 246” (which is a stupid name there arnt even any boats in). So this is me typing out and making sense of allof info in that notebook. Between the shmeared ink and this gross brown stain that’s blead through most of the pages :( . Thanks to Feenixx for helping me make sense of the original work and put the plot into and order that almost makes sense.

ATTENTION important Announcemnt!!: This is a work of fiction! People. Places. Events. And Situations! are the product of the author’s (thats me lol) imagination. Any resemblance to actual ‘people’ (living or dead), or ‘historical events’ is purely coincidental. I also don’t like ‘own’ any of the original charactors or plot lines, and im not trying to sell you anything so get off my dick. Ao3’s got lawyers, you aint got shit on me>:P . I do however ‘own’ the physical journal, and can do whatever I want with the conttent inside as long as im not doxign the original owner, or something equally stupid. It showed up in my yard, that I own! and after asking My lawer (thx google, your the worst <3) it turns out that ‘finders keepers : losers weepers’ is actual a supprisingly sound legal defense. So ‘all credit to the original artist’ or whatever, but like also the author is dead so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I guess : if you want your nifty little diary back then, come and fight me Dr Hills (if that is your real name lol). You shoulda been better about not dropping your notebooks into bodies of water, or at least work on your SEO so I could find you to mail it back. Loser >;P

SECOND Bigger ANNOUNCEMT!!!!!!1 And I cant believe I even have to say this but. DONT FEED MY WRITING TO THE AIs!!!!! ! I know it’s like ‘hard’ to wait, or have the energy to write your own pittiful attempts to intmitate my flawless prose <3/hj. But like, theres all this shit about this upcoming ‘robot apacolllapse’ scribbled down in this old man’s ruined journal. And I know that sounds like something your most embarrassign uncle starts ranting about when theres alull at thanksgiving. But it’s less like “the Ai will come alive and that will have ramafications on humanity.” and more like “it always seemed weird to me that The Middle Ages we like, Lost information until- my peers started out-sourcing their fanfiction to predict-a-text.” sorta way. I think it’s really punk and cool and smart and fuxkitall FUN!!! to write this. And if you don’t agree, I don’t want you in my bit. Go find somewhere else to play pretend! And if you have a problem with that then go eat grass about it; i Hope you get better soon. <3

     ((secret DLC announcement; i had to edit in becase shits WILD out here in 2025. (¡¡ ¡ ¡) please NO Soliciting!!! trying to sell anythign on Ao3 is rude and dangerous. thats why it's against the pollicy. i dont know if newer usesrs know this, but Ao3 was started when profetionaly published authors kept threatening to sue us fanfic wirters, causing the websites We published to to just Delete entire Fics/Profiles with no warning. Ao3's voluenteer-force includes a behind the scenes legal team that helps defend fic-writers agains Litigious publishers. part of that defence is "no one here is selling shit." and beyond that- the founding pricleples of the website are about like; preserving ammature art in away that makes it acessable, and doing it for the love of the ammature art. cumming here soliciting is kinda like trying to sell books at your community library after theyve told you not to. it's off puting, and kinda offensive, and will cause more problems than it's worth doin. So... dont do it! find litteraly any othere places to sell your cool arts! please just let me have this little cornner of the interwebs to not be incessently advertised at,      please.(future soliceters will be blocked without warning, just FYI))

Third normal announcement.(!) This is “DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT” fic. I mean this in the ‘traditional’ sense. As in your handsome and anttentive author (ME) is a dedicated and experianced fanfiction reader/writer, who spent days pondering and resurching what tags and warnings and punktuations I wanted in this published work. If you read all the gobbilty-gook between the search bar and the title of this fic, you will know if you can handle the content of this fanfiction. Please only proceed if you feel safe with encountering those things. Your emotional safety is Of course verry verry important, thats why you should use all the tools availiable to you to keep it safe. Like maybe payign attention to what the tags are and how they mite affect you. Because someone very intelligent and sexy worked very hard to make sure those tags were there for you to see! (Your welcome btw <3)

Anywayyyy. So a big part of this book is supposed to be like meta fourth wall breakign or whatever. So you can call me “Badge” (short for badger, thats my fursona <3) I will be your author, theres like couple lines from the original guy for this intro but tbh he seems like an preetenchous douch, who's bad at finishing his outline so ill just be me writing these, and well focus on keeping the actual story more authentic ;p So like this is a story about 2 punky ‘brothers’ and their rad new friend and the mysteries they solve! they stole a bike or something equally bad ass and are driving it up this cold mountain to the start if thif the mystery. which we can officially start Now!!! (yay!)

O

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thanks for readign along!!!
Comments are actually mandatory on this website it’’s a brand new feature. Say something (ANYTHING) in the comments before pressing “back” to avoid getting digital herpes or whatever. Thanks for reading <3 stay safe. Stay kind. Stay silly.

Chapter 2: An Naked Begining

Notes:

OK for real this time, heres an actual chapter with plot and shit.

Hi my name is Truth de la Riott I have a choppy shoulder-length wolf-cut hair thats naturaly black with fluffy black wolf ears.There are danggly earings with moons and chains and shit on both of my left ears- wich would get caught in the hair there, except for i buzzed that side and shaved in designs. I also have honey-gold eyes that with round black-framd glasses. People sometimes say I look kinda like Erika Ishii but I really don’t see it or whatever. Today im wearign a stupid minimum wage worker’s uniform. It’s a pair of oppressive brown “slacks” (that do actually look good on my ass XD) . And a bogus safety-green bittonup blouse with my government name on it. (ew). Oh, Im also like a totally Bad ass Hope-punk, who just happens to be a Beta Wearwolf.

And its a damn good thing i am a beta! because, im just at my desk job injoying a decent mystery book when Suddenly a Fully-Naked-Man comes up to the counter.! And not even a cute man, he’s like one of those greasy baldign pony-tail guys. I know his name is Thad because im supper observant, and have a great memory for names, and helped the guy check into this shity hotel (thats my job, lol) earler this week.

I pretend to be readign my book as he approaches my desk, I don’t particualry enjoy that he’s 4 cheeks to the wind, but I cant remember there beign any specific rule about costomers needign to have close on at all times. then again im not like a puritanical baby who wants to police other’s people’s bodyies or whatever. So that all kinda adds up to me not gettign paid enough to engage directly with this weirdo – at least until he interacts with me. Wich unfortienety he dose. :(

“Hello, excuse me.” Thad whines. He holdign a stupid metal servign tray from one of our room-service carts close to his doghy hairy body. “Desk Lady?.”

I can tell that he also is not thilled about beign barerbottomed here in the lobby by the way his greying wolf-ears are pinned back in shame. Also he’s like really quitet trying to get my attention or whatever, like he might be being descreate. Feom the way everyone’s already stairing theres no fucking chance.

I pop my sugar free bubblegum at him without looking up from my book, its a good one, Mr Gross brought it for me to read from his personal collection of publishe work. Its a first edition signed copy or whatever nbd . He’s like this weirdo underground mystery novelist who I befriended by being cool and smart while working here. When I get to the bottom of the paragraph I finaly answer the ideot in front of me “can I like- help you?” I ask smartly without even looking up.
“Yes actualy! you little bitch!” he snarles petheticaly. I scoff- it fucking figures the cinical midleaged gen Xer is misserable, and taking it out on whoever’s closets. “it just so happens” Thad continues to bemoan. “that I supidly left my room wihtout my key or cloths and now I am in Need. of a something to cover me.”

I don’t look up to check his claim. (why would i 🤢) I just reach under the counter to grab a ‘Grand Chateau’ branded towl that we keep at the front desk for some fuckign reason- and throw it at his harrowed middle aged face. “bfffffmmmnAAH!” Thad complains as the terry cloth makes impact with his naked mug. Theres more blustering grumble noises as he gets his kit and cabblodle out of the public sphere.

I tuck back into my novel as thad keeps talking at me about “beign rude” or whatever idk im not listening, until he says “If I could just get a new-”I throw him a new copy of his room key too. Feeling very smug as he shuts right up. and now Im pretty sure he’s moving away from my post here in the lobby. Wich is nice becasues im like 2 pages from solving this whole mystery book. Grosse’s novels are a bit formulecic and page 245 ushally gets me there.
Suddenly a buisness card slides in under the bottom of my book. It’s hand-cut contrustion paper with the words “ghost hunters adventure club” written on it with an over-used sharpie, someone has put a cartoon ghost sticker enlew of a logo.

“How do you do!” a chipper voice announces from the other side of the counter. I set the book down to see them. “My name is Xx_jay_xX Watts and the less-hanson gentleman behins me is my brother and close confident Val3ntin Watts. Together we make upt the Ghost Hunters Adventure Club, Harbor vills’s foremost crime-fighting and mystery solving duo.” Xx_jay_xX says loudly.

The boys are definelty an approvemnt to my last costomer. The one who spoke -Xx_jay_xX I guess-. Has a shaggy dark hair with washed out pink hairdye it must of orriganly been dark brown becase that’s the color of his wolf eats. Wich stand up at attention., he’s wearign a black vegan-leather battle jacket, with a bunch of punk pins and patches iorned on. Under that is a croped vertion of Steven UNivere’s clasic star-t-shit, but some one’s graphited it with sharpie. He’s also got ripped up faided denum pants, and a pair of spiked doc-martins. I can teel he’s cool becase he’s sportign purple laces (if you know you know ;P). His cofident is taller, even when you don’t count his spiked up blue hair- wich almost basicaly hide his blond ears. He’s wearing a beat up blue flannel buttonup over his miku patterned binder. And a vintage pair of two toned jinkos (you know like the wide jeans that each leg is a difftent color. These ones are white with a lot of dooddles on that side and bleach tie-dyed black on the other so it looks orangeish.) I cant tell what shoes he’s wearign because the pants are so long. They both seem really cool to me.

“I think your really cool.” I say “but I don’t think your brothers” Xx_jay_xX’s ears flop doen in disapointement. But Valentine’s eyeliner rimmed face seems to peek with interest.

“we could Be!” Xx_jay_xX starts arguing (idioticaly), but Valentine holds my gaze.

“but your not.” Truth re-states.

“what makes you say that?” Valentine asks demurely, his vivid blue eyes pericign into me in a not unkind sorta way.

“Look.” I start (smartly), “you have brown hair and eyes, your “””brother””” has blond and blue. Thats rare but not immposable, then I noticed thst you have detatedced ear lobes and your “””brother dosent””. If you want to play the punnet square game and even the odds, I could see if either of you can roll your tongue.”

“wait, roll your tougue what’s that?” Valentine interjected counfused.

“I think it’s a Seggs Menuver™” Xx_jay_xX answered with a snear.

“smarter than you look, Xx_jay_xX.” I joke at the red boy. He turns pink- and then shakes his head to clear away the effcect.

“we could, still be brothers, tho. We could be like adopted siblings or something!”

“yeah only except, thats exsaclty how people who are lying talk, all bringing up hypothticals instead of actually having any conviction.” I can tell ive hit the nail on the head when it comes to readign social situations, becase both of the boys seem stunned.

“whoa,” Valentine says eventualy. “your smart.” he continues (correctly).

“thank you, I know.” I cutelly answer back at him.

“ok, well… Smart Girl, can you like help us or something, instead of just blowign our whole cover five seconds into this fanfic.” Xx_jay_xX gruffed at me.

“idk, man. It is kinda like my job or something gross, but also your like giving me an additude, and the union contract says I get N+1 breaks where N= the number of assholes I put up with int the shift. And so now im up to 3 legaly required 15 min breaks.”

“Whoa, Xx_jay_xX. She’s union.” Valentines swoons. “thats like so punk! Xx_jay_xX why arnt we union? I told you we should way unionise, Bro!”

I cannot stress how much we are not re lidigating this argument Val, weve been over this. We cant unionise theres only two of us, and were joint owners, that better than a union!.”

“fine.” Valentine says deflated. Kickign his heals so his wide legged jinkos sway in an adorable way. His blond little wolf ears droped in the resignment of labor without barganing power. A struggle I know well, being that it took me over a month of workign here before I convinced my coworkers we should unionise here.

“anyyyywayyy,,,” Xx_jay_xX continues with determination. “were like looking for a person, and your the check in desk person or whatever. So, like… do you know where Wallace P Gross is?’

“oh yeah Mr Gross, is one of the only coolish people who show up here.” I respond cleaverly. “he’s like this subversive saterical mystery novelist, who likes to let me read his advanced copies. Im pretty sure hes in his-”

“Goodevening Gentlemen,” with sudden appearedness, Mr Gross anounced his pressence just behind the brothers, and then with a faint smile to me he added. “ Goodevening Miss Riott.”

“Goodevening Mr Gross.” I anser smartly. Mr Gross is a greying old man with fluffy wild white hair, he’s wearing an vintage dad-rock band shirt, and ripped clasic jeans. He’s got black chucks, But he’s put a tweed blazer over it and carries a little notebook almost everywhere. so people know he’s both kinda cool (in like an old way :/ ) but also like an writer.

“Hello Mr. Gross, we are Xx_jay_xX and Valentine Watts. Aka the Watts Aka The Ghost Hunters Adventure Club!”

“yes! I have read your webed site!” Mr Gross agreed, “are you really ‘Harborvills finest investigators’”

“or at least the ones with the best seo.” Valentine added moodably.

“what?” Wallace barkes (confused). I can tell by the way the boys shuffle for a second that Xx_jay_xX has kicked his blue compainion to shut him up.

“don’t listen to my brother, he was left at a punk bar as a pup, sleeping under the stage to survive; hes never quite got a hang of civil company. Luckaly his opservation and deduction skills are top-notch, hence why were the best!” To his credit Valentine spends a moment testign the quality of the wood of the hotels desk, as if he appraising the space.

“I see,” Gross said impressed. “well, if thats the case I think I should take you on A Tour!!!!”

Notes:

thanks for readign along with this chapter!!!! i hope you liked it! or at least had fun lol. there should be more as i peice together this book. but your comments are the best way to movivate me to actualy work on this project. but this is the first thing ive been able to commit to writing like i used to in the past. i think it's helping to have someone eclse do the outline lol. it's liek collorign book but with words lol. Thanks for reading <3 stay safe. Stay kind. Stay silly.

Chapter 3: Wallace P Gross, Harborvill Alphabet Department

Notes:

AN: Hello! its badge again! thank you for commign back excited to have you along. (all 3 of you!!!)

i will say that like... ok so! in the intro i said (And quote1) "but like also the author is dead so ¯\_( ツ )_/¯ " wich i think some of yal took to mean that liek whoever wrote in the journal is actualy dead maybe. and so i think yall should know "the death of the author" is like a highbrow literally consept, where people like... think about the story without co-signing the wants/motives of the original author. so thats what i ment there! i dont think the actual guy is like deceased or whatever -that would be fucked up™️.

ok now into the real fic i hope you enjoy!!!

“A Tour!!!!” The profetional author (and my personal friend) - Wallace P Gross, announced to the room, with a big sweeping arm movemnt. Most of the room does a decent job at not noticing him. But the two Punky brothers he hired to solve a mystery are very much of the listening. And the desk chekin babe (Aka Truth de la Riott <3 aka me, hi im the protag for this story ;p) is also sorta listenign because im always observant and find Mr Gross often has important things To say. Like for instance now when he say “Miss Riott, you are welcome to join us if you have the fortitude and an adiquite amount of breaktime.”

I smile biggly at that, becase almost anythign is better than working for The Man. (Even if that man is a nosey old lady who takes running a rundown hotel too seriously.) just then- as if summoned- a rediculous french accesnt butts into our conversation.

“and just where do you think your going.” Mis  Madame Foreigner, my boss, says all shrill and rude and frnch and shit. I roll my eyes at her as is spin gracfuly off my chair and swing open the little hing-y part of the desk that lets me back there.

“weve been over this Madame Foreigner. Theres a union now, I get breaks. Go check the contract- if you have a problem, we can strike about it again. :) ” Vall3ntin gives that a huffy laugh, showign how cool he is. Madame is scowlig more than ushual. Wich is hard to immagein, and her balding ears are all pinned back with hatred.  Shes an old white woman who enjoys wearign dead animals, and litttle stuipd hats with decorative feathers in. her face is mostly wrinkles, her sole is mostly tar. I fuckign hate that cunt.

“Anyway!” Mr Gross anounces clearly done with this woman’s bullshit as well. “Onward! To: The TOUR!!!”

“the tour!!” Xx_jay_xX and Vall3ntin chours behind, while I do my best job to look at my eyebrows about the whole thing.

“welcome to the grand chatue, Youths. The beautiful hundred year old mountain shanty that I have called my home for the last year. That I have  called my home for sevral moments throught my long long life as an old old dude.” Mr Gross moved along the wood panneled hallways of the hotel behind him Xx_jay_xX and Vall3ntin are walking, and behind them, i am fallowign being observant and also hot. “Of corse whenit was built it’s main goal was to provide a nice place for all the local rich fucks to do drugs and have the sex, away from their bussling city lives or whatever.” the boys give eachother a look that says ‘wow sex and drugs are cool and fun, but i was not exspectign this ancient man to talk about them so openly. Even if he was wearing a band shirt and chucks’ i give them a look that says ‘o told you this old amn was coolish’

Mr Gross turns and opens the library doors with purpose and flair. “The Library.” he announces for the brother’s sake. “That starts with an L mind you.” he continues for nobody, as i can tell, all of us can probably spell (theres alot of writing on the boy’s cloths0. “here we keep all the books and also bookly things like dvds and magazines and theres like a chess bord and computers you can use and stuff.”

“Oh heck yeah, Mr Gross. We know how rad libraries are, thank you for showing us where this one is!” Val3ntin says excitedly.

“Ooh Goood,” Mr Gross reverberates, “well, i do all my re-search for my best selling, award winning mystery novels here. I might catch you youths serfign the web or borrowing a audio book soem time. Feel free to wave!” he said with diplomacy. “Now carry on, there is much more to see!”

We walked back to the courtyard doors, wich was strange because it was so cold and snowy out. The beautiful garden was already covered in inches of the white stuff, even though the storm clouds had rolled in less than an hour ago (according to my weather app, lol). There was a dramatic moment at the glass door where Mr. Gross announced the room again “The Couryard, that starts with the letter C.” before blustering out into the storm.

Except its really cold out there once were out. Mr. Gross seems fine, but im certainly shivering in my work uniform, adn the boys’ both ave outerwear designed for looking punk, not nessisaraly being warming.

“Its  really cold out here. now that were out” Xx_jay_xX says with oviousness.

“Mr Groos gets a smile like the grinch when he thinks about stealing christmas, (wich i immediately notice as odd) “Good.“ he says darkly. And i make a note to ask him about it later because that is very not like him. He leads us further along down the snowy paths. Until we get to the central statue of the garden, a nangle with a couple decorative benches around it. I know that is has a little Anarchy “A” simbol carved into the base on the back.( because i put it there shhh)  But we can see it right now.  On one of the benches, covered in snow and not seemign to care is person. I cnat tell who it is on account of the snow dustign them, until she speaks.

“Well if it isnt my intellexually incompetent, ex husband. “ Marcella P Gross yowls. She’s wearing a dark black coat that makes it hard to describe her outfit right now :/ . (i cant even tell you about your ears onna counta the hat being on.)

“Don't look her in the eyes, Youths. Youll turn to stone!” Wallace announces for the garden to hear, i cant help but laugh at that cleaver greek myth refrance, its a good one given how bitch and rude and mean Ms. Gross is. Mr. Gross continues. “Xx_jay_xX and Vall3ntin, let me introduce you too, my ex-wife, and lifelong thorne in my side, Marcella P Gross.”

“Nice to meet you mam, what are you doing out in the snow?” Xx_jay_xX  asks with tentative kindness.

“She wanted to be in a place that didnt melt her heart.” Mr. Gross says with practicd hatred.

“What are you doing out here, wallace? Looking for somewhere to finally keel over and die?” Ms. Gross teases in a malicous way.

“I’lll die when im good and ready, you fridged ice queen!!!” Mr. Gross said with a sudden exscialtion of his volume. And then with less loudness, he said “Come along youths, were done here.”

“It was nice meeting you, mam.” Xx_jay_xX said as we fallowed the garden path back to the door.

“Fuck off,Jack.” she barked at him. As we cross the courtyard back, we pass the ground keeper too, he’s really tall in an imposing type-way and weirs a big bulky coat and hat wich is bad for describing vibes still ;(. He is sprinkling salt on the path to prevent ice i guess.

When we enter the inside, Mr. gross pauses almost whistfully for a moment. “Thats funny” he muses. “She was sitting on the bench where we first meet.” my heart feels kinda sad for him in a small way. I don't know much about theire actual relationship, but theres a couple of long running characters in his books, that are clearly inserts of Mr and Ms Gross. and so i know that they did used to love eachother alot and in his newest novel he has some tender thoughts about her.  I try to think of something to say to help make him more happy about divorce for a moment before he shakes his head and moves on without help. “Nearly there, come along!”

We move back down near the library to enter the dance hall. Mr. Gross pauses again to announce it properly. “The Ballroom!” he says as the large wooden doors swing open. “B, for B-U-tiful Ballroom!” he projects as we move in to stand in the doorway. “I only wanted to show how nice it was! good for dancing! Ya’ll should come in here and Cut a Rug sometime.” Mr. Gross rambles. Us punks make a face at the outdated slang behind his back, but don't really mention anything about it.

“We will try to make time for it!” Vall3ntin is saying diplomaticaly.

“Ok im done here.” Mr Gross announced abatraraly, before moving back to the hallway.

“Onward to the end of the tour!!!” he declaired. As he moved along, Xx_jay_xX and Vsll3ntin, held back to converse withme,

“So like, i don't wantta be ablist. But liek... what’s his deal.” Vall3ntin asked in whispering tones. I move my mouth off to the side, while i think about it.

“Well at first off he’s like old and weird and exclusive to begin with.” i start smartly, “but he’s also stanger today for some reason. I think maybe Ms. Gross being here is starting to get to hime?”

“Hmmmmm.” Vall thought.

“Well maybe his is an old coot with current ex-marital problems. But if you wanta eat tonight, were gonnahave to take a few bumb cases.” Xx_jay_xX said with a little bit of rudeness.

“HEre We are!” Mr. Gross is announcing. We catch up easy before he notices us being gone. “S for studdy” he says with a sense of finality, stepping aside so we can see his big study room, with large leather clad tombs, and expensive leather clad furnatures. The room smelled like library and espensive cigars, and you can tell he’s put alot of his own things into the space in the year he’s been here. . The three of us enter to look around and Mr gross moves over to the center of the room.

“it’s very classy in here Mr. Gross” Xx_jay_xX says full of brown-nosing- and then with a dose of plot momentum he continues “So how would you like us to help you Mr. Gross?”

“Ahh yes!” Wallace says, snapping back to attention. “As you youths know, i needed to employ of Harborvills finist detectives for a reason. You see.” he says, all sudenful of nerves. He gives me a little glance of doubt before finishing his sentence. “Im being hunted.”

“Right, Ghosts.” Xx_jay_xX says with just a jenny-say-qua of doubtfulness. “ My<em.brother</em> and i are well versed in ghosts. We do charge extra if we have to bing in a holly figure to help, tho.”

“Take more pride in listening than talking young pup! It may do you good in the long run.” Mr Gross barks, his ears standing upright a moment. the brothers look at eachother with shaoked-concern, but i already knew that Mr. gross puts alot of wight behind people being more observant (like me) and less blabermouthy (liek Xx_jay_xX). I give a little ‘maybe you should’ shrug at Xx_jay_xX when he checks with me. He doesnt appreciate it, but Vall3ntin almost smiles.

“AS i Was saying,” Mr. Gross starts up again now looking at the window at the blizzard that has set in over his home. “Ive known for some time know that a ghost has been watchin over me. Watching my work. For the past three years, ive been consumed by this spctor, this obsession . unable to finish my book!”
He turned back to the Us, framed by the window and desk around him, and sighed a big adult sigh. “Youths, i fear my time is short, ive put together everything and i can see clearly. There are so many mysteries in the Grande Chatue, youd hardly believe it.”

And before we could believe anything his mother fucking head just exsploded?!?1!? 

Notes:

AN: yay! Another chapter done, this tiem with a big twist at the end. Oooh arnt you excited don't you want to know what happened to Mr. Gross’ head? Me too actually thats why me and Feenixx have been putting all the work in to de-scramble this diary. And now i sharing it with you. Arnt i kind. You should way thank me! And you Can down below in the comments!!! Go for it, ill be waiting!!! Thanks for reading <3 stay safe. Stay kind. Stay silly.

Chapter 4: The Basketcase

Notes:

AN: Hello! this is a warning from me your beutiful and cleaver author, Badge. just poping in to say: you should re-check the tags when new chapters come out. on acounta i add new tags as the chapter as i update. just remeber to be safe with your mental health and only venture forward if things sound fun for you. that being said thank you for comming back, here's the next chapter, (just fyi theres a corpse in this one, youll never guess who.) lets go figure out what happend to MR Grosse's head!

“EVERYBODY DOWN ON THE GROUND!” the cop tore into the chaos of the studdy: teeth bared! glock up!. “I SAID DOWN!” the barrel of a pistol swung around the room. Until the owner of the death-weapon felt it was an enough of a safe space to set down his security object. The only one who was standing had been Mis Madame Foreigner anyhow, she now laid facedown on a relitivly clean part of the musty carpet, hands folded behind her head, moving her wigg a scew . Wich would have been fun to see anyother time.

Except for that i was aalso already having a pretty bum time, sitting on the ground with those two Watts brothers. the three of us triing to clear our faces of the blood of my Personal Good Friend and MenTour. Dear KIndly Mr Wallace Phattydius Gross. Beloved and celebrated author. Mr Gross was aslso lieing on the carpet. Headless. In a ever-creeping pool of blood.

“AREA SECURE, CIVIALNS LOCATED. GUN HOLSTERED.” the cop anounced to the room. “THANK YOU FOR CALLING THE HARBOR-VILL POLICE DEPARTMENT. I AM DEPUTY SHERIFF pARK. I WAS TOLD THERE WAS A GUNFIRE.” his talking was short and simple like he would forget the begingin of a sentence if a coma had to get involved..

“oh for ducks sake, this a$$hole.” Xx_jay_xX said to the three of us under his breath.

“I hope he has the safty is on this time.” Val3ntin agreed. Ducking lower, causing a hunk of pink to fall out of his spiked blue hair. It landed on the lap of my fuggly work slacks. I yartsed again- Casualy, like a cool person whos not freeked out might.

“WHO CALLED 911? I NEED INTEL.” the cop continues stupidly. He was a big excitable man, with fluffy folded puppy ears and atendancy to show his canines when he yelled.

Madem Forigner skuttled up to a more vertical orentatioon, her creepy dead furs and stupid hat and obvious wig, all a kimbo. ‘yes, Hi, hello” she said frenchly. “it was me who did the calling I did it as soon as I heard the gunshott.” She kept saying.

“GOOD JOB CIVILAN! YOU HAVE DONE: THE CORRECT THING>” Deputy Park anounciated. “NOW. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!” the deputy paused for emphasis, and held long serious eyecontact with the old bag. “HAS ANYONE BEEN INJERD?”

from my vantage point o the ground, I got the chance to see the sentence hit the brothers faces. There was a collective world-weary sigh shared between the two, fallowed by a disbeliving silance that hung across the whole study. And then quitely Val3ntin said “you mean besides Mr Gross?” he lifted a blood-splatered hand to gesture at the corpse cooling in the center of the room.

“vALENITNE? JJ? WHAT ARE YOU RASCLES DOING-” deputy park started with not listengn before he finally saw the victum “GREAT JUGGLING GARBANZO BEANS BOYS!! YOU FUCKING KILLED AGUY!!?!”

“We Did NOT!” Xx_jay_xX objected jumping up to stand to face the cop defiantly. (all be it from across the room) “How Dare You, you.. YOU- PIG!??”

“WOAH WOAH WAOH. LEST NOT DO THE NAME CALLIGN THERE, buddie.” Deputy PArk back pettled at Xx_jay_xX. “IM JUST A WIDDLE GUY IM JUST ‘DOING MY JOB™️’. ” the pig pouted a bit and did puppy dog eyes, to show how submisive redeamable he was. The floppy puppy ears did help the effect actualy.

“yes, officer. And isnt your job to help us deal with this murder that just happened in mY Chatue?” Madame Fornie said with self important redirection. “like I was saying, I called as soon as I heard the murder, and when I went to investigate I found these children huddled in the corner. Screaming and carrying on and such..”

“We arnt kids, actually were like legally adults’nshit.” Val3ntine said with a good point. Altho maybe not the time I think.

“THEN YOU WILL BE TRIED AS ADULTS.” Park said with a tone of finale. Before redirectign his short attention spam back at my tererable terrable boss. “I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CALLED ME, MAM-.”

“Madam Forigner” the bitch supplied.

“YES. I SEE. BUT ALSO: WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THIS LOCAL? “ deputy Park contunued.

“this is me the also.” said madam foringner, with growing annoyance. .

“I SEE.” Park said. And then stood still in the converstation as if uploading new dialog options to his cop programimg, for the next part of his investigation.
In the inturlude Madam stood, awkward and old, looking over the situation with unsuredness. After Opening and closeing her overpainted mounth a couple times. She said “um.. do you think maybe the kids can go? I feel like they could probably get all that brain off of their-”

“I HAVE SOLVED THE CASE!” Deputy Sherif PArk announced triumphantly.

“WHAT?!” the Watts brothers shout in perfect unison.

“what?” Madam foriner agreed.

“YES! I DEPUTY sHERIFF JIHUN PARK HAVE USED MY POLICE SKILLS TO SOLVE THE CRIME!” the cop reidioted, standing with his hands on his hips in a very braggadocios way.

The room was silent for a momnet, until Madam finaly said “and….” She prompted.

“OH YES. THE WINDOW IS BROKE< THE SHOT CAME FROM OUTSIDE. THE KILLER IS FROZEN! YOUR WELCOME.” Park clapped his hands together with doneness. “OK, NOW… I CRASHED MY CAR IN THE BLIZZARD™ ON THE WAY UP. DO YALL HAVE LIKE… A TOW-TRUCK?”

“wait wait wait.” said Val3ntin moodaly. “what do you MEAN ‘solved the case’!”

“what do you mean ‘BUDDIE?!?!” Xx_jay_xX asked indigantly .

“Excuse MOI!! I do not know who these vagrants are, but I will not abide by Punkery and Anarchs in my HOEtell!!! We listen and support our strong heros in blu here you littlel criminals!! if it were not for Thee BLIZZARD™ I would throw you out on the Stolen bike you rode in on!!” Madame Binched loudly in her typical hypercapitalist fasion.

“This Braveand…” she looked over the man standing dumbly in front of everyone. He looked like a nark in that textboook “I buy my jeans at millitary discount’ sorta way that all good’ol’boys have. In a way he was like all cops. Brawd and thick and sencire about all the right bullshit. This model happened to be tallish, and old ish, with a bit of aspare tire(affectionate). He also just so happened to be within the korean diaspora as well, not that you care.

“...And Tall, Officer has Said the case is solved, and so it is! And I wont hear another word about it!” Madame Yapped shrilly, waggling a violently violot false nail at us punks huddled in the corner. “NOW, Truth De Riott, if im not mistaken your 15 minuets are up, and you cannot take consecutive breaks without prior written notice. If you value your living corters you will collect yourself immedtly and please escort these two hooligans back to their room.” Madam Foriner growed at me, dark and serious like, her next words said through her teeth. “where they will remain until the snowplow comes to free us all!.”

Notes:

ok yay! thats another chapter done! thanks for reading along, and please come back for more next week. (its bound to be less cop-y) remeber that comments are mandatory and actually nessisary if you want to site to work still. hope this helps stay safe. Stay kind. Stay silly. - Badge <3

Chapter 5: Breakless

Notes:

Hello! faithful readders and welcome back (i totaly didnt just post this draft without a author note in a fit of heat exsaghtion). im supposed to write something more here but im too busy melting into my couch. plz send help. also... i love you.

“Uggh! I fuckin hate it here!!!” i scream as i land facefirst on my shitty squeaky  metal bed frame. All I want to do is walk around in a couple small cirles around the spot, before cuddling down and sleeping for ever and ever.

“It doesnt seem that bad, Truth” Xx_jay_xX bemuses wrongly, while looking over my CD collection that decorates the top of my dresser. (ownable media is sooo fuckin punk yall). 

“Yeah well it IS that bad!” i a nounce from the pillows. And then feel bad for it. Its not the brothers fault. that i just watched a friend litterably explode in front of me. So like, maybe im owned 15-30 min of being dramatic and sad. But NOOOO i gotta get right back to my stupid fucking day job asap, and also be a decent ally to whatever these two have going on.

“Ok then.” Xx_jay_xX says clapping his paws together. “It’s Bad™️ how are we going to make it better?” i don't look up to see the boys but i can feel Xx_jay_xX has turned dramaicaly to address me with this new positive re-frame. 

“idk, like maybe- Unkill my friend.” i offer as a soulution to him. He dosent respond for a moment. 

“What if insteeaaad-” therse a wretched squeeling noise as Xx_jay-xX sits on the edge of the bed. “We honnor your fiernd’s memory through heartwarming stories of his grande adventures.” 

I start sobbing. “Yeah except- I cant even do that!” i exsplain “onna acounta i have to go up and sit at the stupid front desk, while no ones even going to check in, becasue of The BLIzzard™️, but if i don't Mrs MaDamn Furnature will fire me, and charge me for the room and then i cant pay to get back in to collage, and- and-! And-!! WAHAHHAAAh-!!!!!!” now im really bubbering. I wrap my arms around my pillow and try to use it to stanche the flow of tears from my face. But like totally in a justified and a dignified -and some may even say- a attractive way.

“Um... i... “ Xx_jay_xX starts. His eyes dartign back between  Val3ntin and me with growing panic. “Um, NOT IT!” the plumper boy declairs! Puttign a finger to his nose and looking over to his ; with expectation in his dark glassesless eyes.

I hear the bed scream as Val3ntin and Xx_jay_xX switch palces. After a moment i feel a warm hand on my shoulder, comforting but not oppressive. Then its moving in sothing circles over my back.  And suddenly, I find it’s easier to find my breathing again. Before to very long im just a quitely simmering mess of coquettish hiccups and charming snot. When i have re-gained most my composure Val3ntine finally speeks.“We could put Xx_jay_xX in a wigg and make him sit in your place, if you think that would help.”

I give a grurgly sort of sobby laugh at that. wich does wonders for lifting the vibes of the room. “Thanks, but i don't think it would.” i answer finally, settign up on my elbow and acceptign the tissue “If Madame found out she’s have us all out in The Blizzard™️.”

val3ntine nodded understandingly, his face still spackled with writersblood. “Im not even sure its ok to keep you Here1” i say dramatically gesturing to my shitty make shift sleeping arragments. “Its jsut we only had the one room open- and i know shes gonna offer it to that stupid, stupid cop” i finish, feeling not much better about everthuing, but at least lighter for having talked to somewon.

“wow.” said vale3tin “your really nice. and smart. and kind” I nodd all teary eyed and brave about it, the tears have made my eye makup look lived-in and formidable. The redness looks like natural blush. 

“it’s true, I know.” I sigh. “but like, thats what punk is, you know- helping people in tough situations.” I say wisley. Both Val3ntin an d Xx_jay_xX nod solumly.

“Ok!” Xx_jau_xX interjected with re-newed plotline. “ so, whats the plan!”

“um well, idk I guess I have to like go back to the desk before Wreched Madame gets upseter.” Truth said with heavy resonsiblity. “and then ill come back here and we can figure out sleeping situations for tonight.” the boys nod with good listening as Truth exsplained the best options to them with her smartness.

“wait wait wait.” said Val3ntin moodaly, are you really going back to interact with that awful awful woman after all youve been through today?”

“I mean, my other option is sleeping in the snow tonight, so… yeah kinda.” I said with badass nonchallance , before she stood and moved on to to going back to work. “so like I guess I have to go do that now. I get off at 8pm, Don’t snoop threw my shit please.” and with that Truth was back to be exploited by capitalisum’s crule chokehold once more.

Today’s the choking is miserably slow, the blizzard is making it so non-one could check in, made it so the hours crawled by. Truth De La Riott, spent most of the time trying not to think about the recent death of her good friend Mr Wallace P Gross. but by the time she had reorgainized all the paperwork cubbies and blew all the crumbs out of the keyboard, and read through the copy of “the Ghost Hunters Adventure Club Handbook” zine that Xx_jay_xX had slipped her- she was at her wits end trying not to solve the case.

So at 6pm when the ancient Madame Foringer went upstairs to stay in her luxury sweet for the night, Truth waisted no time phoning to her own humble living quarters. 

“Riott’s residence, Xx_jay_xX speaking, Ms Truth is not here right now can i take a message?” came the voice from the wired-in telephone in Truth’s hand.

“Yeah, Xx_jay_xX, it’s me Truth, i was just thinking about what happened earlier and i don't think things add up.” Truth said all businesslike, shifting the receiver to balance on her shoulder as she brought up her own little notebook for doodling. 

“Oh thank fucks!” Val3ntine said from the background of the boy’s scene. But Xx_jay_xX seemed less co operative. 

“Oh not you too! listen im not trying to be ungrateful here, but honestly we just don't have a buch of spare money and resources to go into solving a crime that has nothing to do with us.” Xx_jay_xX said with selfish mindset. 

“Becasue we have so much to fucking do while beign traped int this rundown hotel!!!”  Val3ntin bemoaned loudly from off mic.

“Do you?” i prompt cleverly.

“What? “So much to do’, sure, yeah we got loads to do!” Xx__jay__xX said with Deffensivness. 

“Like...” i ask further, i cant help but smirk at the boys banter here, it really is a comfort to have someone elce cool to relate to, ecspetically when their so committed to their respective bits, and just so so very punk. 

“Liek Gettign a goods night sleep, and also not getting arrested!!” Xx_jay_xX snaps with no real heat behind it. I can hear Val3ntine in the background again. 

“pussy-” i hear Vall accuse, i surprise myself and giggle at the banter. And it feels nice to laugh a littel bit, after all the crying and feeling misserable all day. Suddenly i have a very good and cool idea.

“Hey can you two get down here? Madame is gone for the night and im bettign that its gonna feel a bit claustrophobic up in that room if were all stuck in there all weeekend.” i say with good perswasive points.
Theres a bit of hem-hawing on the other end of the phone until finally Xx_jay_xX says “Fine!” realy put-uponly and then hangs up.

It takes them not too long to make their way to me. And buy the time i have im done with the floor plan to the hotel i had been doodling on my notebook. 

“Okay, so.” i start smartly as the boys sit down. “Ive been thinking over the scene, and it just dosent make sense.” i point at my drawing to show “here is Mr Gross’s room, and where he was shot.” ive put a red X where his body is. “And heres the window that is broke.”

“The one Deputy Park said the killer shot from.”  Val3ntin supplies helpfully. (boob number of words in my master draft: 8008) with a voice that seems full of doubt, and his ears are tilted back with hostility at the thought of that cop again.  

“Yeah only except this window is on the south side of the building, wich-” i start saying until Xx_jay_xX gets all exited and points at the blank space, just outside the drawing, on the paper. 

“Over Looks the Seaside Cliffs!” Xx_jay_xX shouts with surprising quickness. 

“exsactly!!! “  i congratulate. And then go about the work of drawing a line of the cliffside that the Chatue is sat on leaving no room for anyone to stand outside the author’s study window. “In fact Mr. Gross told me specifically that he always request that room because he is nervous about people sniping his noble ideas, and its like, basically impossible to be outside that window.” i finish explaining, and then realize with a bit of sadness that i should proabbly start changing the tense that i think about Mr Gross in, being that he is now dead. 

“That exspains the sound thing.” Val3ntin says 

“What sound thing,” Truth asks, 

“When It happened i thouhgt i heard bang, splat, glas breaking. If he had been shot from outside we would have heard the glass breaking first.” the slim boy exspalins. Truth felt very nauseous about the way he said it, but her ability to keep a leval head prevailed and she just kept trying to solve the mystery. 

“Thats a decent point Val, but im not sure how watertight thats gonna be in a court of law.” there was only a slight tremmor to her ears that let anyone know she was not thrilled about the conversation topic. 

“See! I duckin Told you Bro!” Xx_jay_xX cut in. “besides were not getting anywhere close to courting the law here, anyways! , were keeping our heads low and makign enough to afford meals, right?” the punk prompted to us with pragmatism and cowardness. . 

“Right.” Val3ntine and Truth agree with mixed honesty. 

“But wait!” Val3 bust in. “if the shot didnt come in from the window that means i came from somewhere in the room!” truth nodded along with his observation, pressing her lips into a thin line of ‘not wanting to’ before her next preposable. 

“Yes, thats what i thought!, and why i think i need your help.”

Notes:

AN:YAY post made!! i hope you liked the new chapter,its a long one but i feel like theres not as much action. I think having diversity of chapters is probably like good for the story or something. Idk im trying TnT. Please please please leave a comment telling me what you liked the best or if theres anything youd like to see! I love to talk about the chartators im writing about! It really does help me stay motivated. . Stay kind. Stay silly. - Badge <3

Chapter 6: The New Route

Notes:

AN: hello again! Its me your sexy and cleaver and witty author, Badge! stopping in to say HI! (and also that i have no idea if anyone is still readdign this because i have only gotten the 2 comments on the first chapter.) i hope your having a good day (the kind of that might lead you to interact with the content you are consuming beyond just consuming it) anyway heres the story! Enjoy:

“oh hey, they moved the corp$e!” Xx_jay_xX casually declared as the Ghost Hunters Adventure Club illegally re-entered the study that had once belonged to Mr Wallace P Gross. (It no longer belonged to him on accounta he was verry dead atm.)

“they left his blood tho.” said Vall3ntin taking a dangerous step over the puddle with his rad jinkos hiked up to his calfs. He was right of course. There was nearly all the blood a human author could hold, spilled out in the center of the high-brow room. Truth De La Rosa felt it was a downgrade in the decoration department caus o f the way it made my skin crawl and my stomach do flip a flops.

Truth had pulled on her battle jacket and a beanie for the night, to keep the cool off in the window-broken room. My battle jacket is an oversized denim jacket, with elastic around the waist so it sorta had like a bomber-jacket type sillowet. Its basically big enough to gho over evverything, and theres was alot of visable mending and various patches added on. I had gotten it second hand, and bring it almost aeverywhere. The beanie i crowshayed myself a couple months ago and had little moon phases around the folde up brim. I hung out by the door as the brothers exsamed the room. In a cool way that meant i lookd attractive, and also not at all scared.

“cool.cool.cool.” truth said all quick like, but with exstream casuality and confidence. “any like... idk... clues?? or something?” i crossed my arms tight over my chest and looked around at the bookshelves -wear there happened to notbe any author blood- to see if there were any clues up there.

“umm… theres a snowdrift over here, I cant see if theres glass inside anymore.” Val reported while sittign on Mr Gross’s desk and peirign at the floor behind it.

“Cant you just liek, move the snow around and check?” Xx_jay_xx asked, not looking up from where he was examining the congelled edge of the blood puddle with morbid curiosity.

“wount the cops notice we were in here? “ Truth mentins smartly from the doorway, as she studied the decorative trimwork around the bookshelves.

“I think were only going to have to deal with the one oinker for a while.” pointed Vall3ntin -drawing everyone’s attention to the broken window where snow had drifted up almost halfway up the intact glass already. More flurries were falling inside through the hole.

“Oh Ship! Is that all newfall from today?” Xx_jay_xX asked before valuting over the bloody mess and landing spryly on the carpet beyond. His brown ears all perked up with excitment, he bounded across the mini snowdrift that had blown in from the outside. ‘He stuck hi head out the hole, Before ducking back in turned to us with icicles clingning to his fur. “wow ! its like really coming down! I bet well be stuck here for at least a week!”

“Xx_jay!_xX, get your head back in before you slit your throat on that glass. Im not stitching you up after that.” val worried, geturign for his brother to come in but not toching for fear of lacerashion.

“That makes too of us.” Truth quiped funnanly from the doorway, just trying (and suckseedign) to cover just how uncomfy i felt. When suddenly! something weird caught my eye.

“Hold Up, whats the deal with this bookcase!” I pointed up at the bookcase by the door across from the desk. It was tall and full of books just liek all the others. Expert for one detail, their was a gap in the decorative carved molding that should of attached it to the ceiling.

“Idk fulla books i guess,” Xx_Jay_xX offered, unhelpfuly. As he and Val moved away from the window to investigate with me.

“Well duh, Xx_jay_xX” i say all sassy like. “But also theres something weird about how its attached to the room.” i say studding the piece of furnature closer. Its just cockablock fulla abunch a big weighty tombs most of wich written by Mr Gross himself.

“Hey, wait a moment, what about angles and shit!” said Vallentine, standnign in front of the bookcase and lining his eyes up to look out the window, all observant and such. “Yeah, Truth! Look here. If the shot came from inside the buildign-”

“And not from outside - wich is impossible.” i add helpfully.

“yes, because then the gun had to be standing in front of this bookshelf, because of how we were all standing at the time.” I noodd viscerally and bull out my little note book, where I had drawn the rooms of the hottel. On the page is the room and the desk, and the door and window as I had remebered it. (so very accuratly).

“Except for we were her in the room and no one was standing there!” proclaimed Xx_jay_xX with smoothbrain.

“isnt that these colored x-es are?” vallentin asked correctly . A black painted finger nail directign everyone’s attention to my work.

“guys. Guys!” i say excitedly, knowing im about to look all cool and shit. “Check this shit out:” and with that i reach up and pull Dr Wallace Gross’s most favioretest novle off the bookshelf. Only exscpt it didnt come off, it just tilted forward- causing a couple mechanical clicks to sound off from the wall. And then the shelf moved just a little bit, liek it could spin if we pushed on one side. (picture a revolving door but with more highclass litterature)

“Woah,” the boys agreed in unison, standing back to see whats going on with the whole thing. Wich let me turn the bookshelf with just one arm, revealing space in the wall beyond. “WOAH!” the boys exsclaimed louder. Looking all pog face and also stupid. While they were busy being gobsmacked, i poked my head into the ebony darkeness beyond the shelf, and saw that there was a corridor that lead to some sketchy stairs. “Thereas like a whole passageway back here guys.”

“Wait really?” Val said with the same excitement Xx_jay-xX had at the new weather, rushing forward all curious to explore my crevice

“Woah woah woah,” the red brother said with caushion “were not like, going in there are we?”

Notes:

AN: okay that's 1000ish words and there fore the end of the chapter yay! i hoped you liked it. and if you want to let me know you liked it LEAVE A COMMENT please <3 also im going to do a community building thing this week, i meant to have and extra chapter in the chamber for you, but life got in the way¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . so i might skip an upload next monday. dont panic. im (probabbly) fine, just tired from doing cool shit (you know how it be.) stay safe. Stay kind. Stay silly. - Badge <3

Chapter 7: the Pitch

Notes:

AN:ok im back from my local music festival! We did a bunch of crafts and shit for kids, so the whole thong was safer for famillies to attend. And got to see a great community of people who just wanted to share their love for music and good vibes. i highly recomend doing everythign you can to get out there and hanging out irl with cool people. 10 outa 10 good shit. my crops are watered, my skin is clear, my malaise is nowhere to be found!

“gob darn, its dark as Pitch in here,” Xx_jay_xX said grumppily from his position behind me (Truth De La Riott) and his brother Val3ntin, in the secret pathway built into the walls of the Grand Shattoe. Exsposed drywall framing, and mouse-torn insalation brushed bast the punk’s shoulders as they made their way around the large hotel without beign perceved by the guests.

“yea, thank fuck for dark vision!” Val said positivity. Everyone nodded along in undersanding, becase thats just a normal thing that most people have in this AU. (Besides like, blind or darkblind people.) it helped that there was some light commign threw the occational paining on the walls. Who ever made the hidden, passageway, deceded that it would be ‘cool’ to put in places to check the hallways threw the eyes of the occational portrate on the wall.

“thats really uncool, actually.” I said all growling, as we moved past the large painting of Dr. August Grande, wich hung behing my desk in the front lobby.

“what?” asked Xx_jay_xX slowfully, on acounta he was tripping over some support beam for a second.

“the holes in the walls, match up with the painting that sits behind me all my work day :(“. I say, my armhairs all brussled up with disrespect and disgust. “im gonna take that up with the union for shure.”

“that really sucks, fr Im sorry.” Val3ntin said, all sympothetic. helpfully.

“gob darn! Itsjust soo pitch dark in here,” Xx_jay_xX said grumppily from his position behind me in the secret pathway built into the walls of the Grand Shattoe. Exsposed  drywall framing, and mouse-torn insalation brushed bast the punk’s shoulders as they made their way around the large hotel without beign perceved by the guests.

“yea, thank fuck for dark vision!” Val said positivity. Everyone nodded along in undersanding. it helped that there was some light commign threw paining on the other sides of the walls. Who ever made the passageway, deceded that it would be ‘cool’ to put in places to check the hallways threw the eyes of the occational portrate on the wall.

“thats really uncool, actually.” I said all growling, as we moved past the large painting of Dr. August Grande, wich hung behing my desk in the front lobby.

“what?” asked Xx_jay_xX slowfully, on acounta he was tripping over some support beam for a second.

“the holes in the walls, match up with the painting that sits behind me all my work day :(“. I say, my armhairs all brussled up with disrespect and disgust

“that really sucks. Im sorry.” Val3ntin said, all sympothetic. “can you take that up with the union or something?” he continued, in an attempt to be helpfully.

“oh yeah, I think I will!” I say pulling a disposable camera out of an inner pocket in my battle jacket, “FLASH!” I announce as a warning before, snapping a photo of the wall, showing cleasrly the bright holes that would look threw to my workspace.

We keep walking along until theres another flight of stirs that bring us down a level into the baement into where I know the kitchen and storage to be, but also were not on that side of the buildign, I think, so its like really sus that theres a couple antique looking doors down here.

“hey, trudie, any idea where these doors go?” Val asked, looking along the line of dusty doors with curiosity.

“no, acctually.” I say with intrest, and contunied cleaverness “this should be all under the library wich I thought was not part of the basement, or at least, its not on any of the maps at least.” I pull out my notebook to check my map, but you need dim light to read with darkvision. So without the peep-holes lending more light You can’t discern color in darkness, only shades of gray.

Suddenly theres a knock, truth and Vak turn in the opener space, to see Xx_jay_xX comicaly posed to knock again at the first door. The silance streaches wide, as the three adventures listen to hear for anyone answering Xx_jay’s_xX’s stuipid stuipid move.

<Xx_jay_xX?>> Val3ntin signed in ASL. His painted nails, makign little pinches upwords with his first finger and thumb, acouple times with an incredulous look, before makign a hook with his domme pointer finger, swooping a J in the air ith his pinky, before signing an X for a second time.

“?whell no one answered did they? So i think were good to try and break in.” Xx_jay_xX said triumphantly. Before impusilvly tryin ght knoib on the closest of the two doors. It turned with no complaint to reveal a dusty pitch black room yawing in open beyond. “Well looky there.” Xx_jay sai with sardonic interest, before slinking into the space to investigate.

Val3ntine fummed from his sopt beside me, his hands fisted all fummably next to his sides in frustration, for a moment. Before the industuous sound of flood lights, and a suddon flood of light came from Xx_jay_xX’s room, fallowed by his voice. “Um, you guys are gonna want to see this!”

I give an interested look to a grumped-out Valentine, before shrugging with cool casuality, and entering the mysteryious room. The specticaled boy fallows reluctantly. Beyond the worn doreway is a usty field.

Like an entire outside field, with a blue cement sky hanging low above, but a feild nontheless. The room was about a cirle, and felt 450, maybe... 500 feet across. Low dry monoculture lawn streached out across most of the space. Thirsty clumps of Lolium puffed up dustclouds as the two of us made our way to Xx-jay’s_xX’s spot in near a patch of grassless dirt, near the center of the room

“wha’da’ya’ think?” he said proudly- arms out and spining to display the big space. “pretty sweet find, eh?”

“what do you think it is?” val asked after a bit of looking around at the strange teraforming here.The 22 foot rectangular patch of smooth dirt, with a couple 28 inch poles standing out of it at each of the far ends.

“why isnt it ovious brother? It’s a pitch!”

Notes:

AN: Alright thats it for this week! come back next week (hopefully) for more TRuth de la Riott's Ghost HUnters Adventure Club, Adventures! :tm: :tm: :tm:. and as always stay safe. Stay kind. Stay silly. - Badge <3

Chapter 8: Exposition #2

Notes:

AN:ok i understand that the ending of last chapter was a bit outta left field (get it, lol) , ok but like im only fallowing what the note book i found said, and theres like a whole 2 page spread about cricket, so my hands are tied. and also if you wanted more say in were im going with the story you have had like -at least- 8 entire opurtunityes to comment and let me know. So tuff shit! I hope you like where it;s going tho! Im having alot of fun trying to string these waterlogged pages together! Ok im gonna let you get into the story now, see you at the end of this chapter!

Truth De La Riott woke up out of her squeeky bullshit metal framed bed. With her ushuall vim and viger, it took almost no time to gather together the day’s outfit (the dresser was only an arms reach from her pillow lol). She decided on a black sports bra that I had screenprinted cheekface’s ‘middle spoon’ album art on, and some army-green pants with extra pockets. I asses my battle jacket and, a gold chain belt, with more wallet-cheney bits hanging off. And a rose triple lock- gold and black locket belt buckle, by sigh-kick circle’s oddities. I had gotten it becsae of the big stupid key ring with all these vintage analog keys, I had to carry around for work, made me feel like some discount kingdom hearts side-peice, and I figured id lean into the aethtetic.

Truth skipped makup like ushual, but made sure to put in her seral sets of dangly earings off both of her left ears, making sure dome of them travled up from her wolf ear and down to her human one. She had shaved “ACAB” into her head last week, and it was still visable enough to see. She let a local news podcast play on her laptop as she got ready. And quickly switched over to her pirating set up to download the newest episodes of strnager things, as she went about her day.
They wernt saying anything new anyway- (one the podcast). The Blizzard™️was still falling for the 3th week now, and everyone who was already snowed in, still was. In fact the most interestign thing in the podcast nowwadays was the daily food-reviews from the the hosts as they worked their way systimatically threw their office’s vending machine. Today they were trying “COMBOS Pizzeria Pretzel Baked Snacks”. Apperently they were ‘mid’.

She grabbed a killer daves cinamon rasion baggle, and anavel orange (both swiped by from the kitchen, and kept in her ancient minifridge. To break my fast. And locked her door as i left.

It was  aquick jog up the stairs to get to. The lobby, where she duckerd behind the crowd to avoid the gaze of her morining shift co-worker Jamie, who was nice, but a bit dull after weeks of hearing about his every dawning though.t

Down the hall and a quick slip into Mr Gross’s abandoned office. There was a sizable snow drift, covering the room and desk and everything on the side of the room under the bay windows. The hole had never been patched, the “’’’’””athorities”” hadnt come to investigate further, and now the woodwork in here will never bee the same. But none of that really bothered me. In fact it was kinda noice to think that my dear friend who spent so much time in this Studdy would be the last one to use it in it’s current configuration/ like the wood pannelign and arsenic green rug had only survived for him.

It took almost nothing to move the bookcase and jog down into the bowls of the Grande Chatto. There were less spider webs about in the cramped dark corradoors now that the club was traversing threw consistantly, and her trek down to the cricket field was unnoteable.

Val3ntine was near the door already when she arived, fillign a reusable waterbottle at the spicket there. He was wearing a navyblue mesh crop top with trans tape underneith, and a sleavless denium vest with custom patches wen on. His blue hair was just staring to grow out and had a cute little blond underroot that tied in the golden from his ears. He had worn grey plaid pajama pants on bottom with visible mending in electric blue embroidery thread, and fraying around the bottom.

He looked up all dramatic and stoic as i entered the underground field. “Hey” he said

“Hey,” i siad

“Nice belt” he quiped. And i frowned because i did actually like the accessory but he sounded all sarcastic about it.

“Thanks it was a llimited run!” i said smartly, looking down at the little raised rose details and the three keyhoile shapes with fondness.

“Probably for the best.” he said, standing to drink a bit as i recovered from the emotional blow.

“Whatever man, I like it.” i said all huffy about his attitude. “Why, whats so bad about it?”

“idk...its a bit… Amy Yasbeck cerca ‘93” Val#ntine said with a annoying little smirk.

“True! dont listen to him!” Xx_jj_xX said as he jogged into the conversation from where he was resting in the bleachers.  “i think it’s a fantastical belt buckle, and will be sure to catch some eyes! Very striking, much personal-brand recognition. well done, detective!.“ Xx_jay_xX said claping a encuraging hand on my shoulder and ushering me to the brothers’ “talking about ditective work,” the plump boy seggwayed “I think we need to talk about your dear, departed, author friend again.”

“oh yeah! Cum. check this shit out” Val added, jogging over to the curved roof duggout that they had fixed into a little bedroom” and pulled one of the wieghty novles that we had saved from Mr gross’s collection when we relized the snow was going to ruin a lot of them. “so ive been looking threw some of Mr Gross’s old books-”

“reseurch pilled, book maxxer.” Xx_jay_xX cut in withun helpfulness, Val gave him a uncomfortable look.

“ive been looking threw these books, and lookHere!” Val3nting said with renuewed excitement, layign out a page of diagrams and notes in one of Mr Gross’ worn leather bound journals.

“woaj” I said all breathy and impressed, as I begin pooring over the writing, it was a diagram of the hottel, drawn out with notes and shit, includign the secret pathway in Mr. Gross’s studdy and the cricket field im standing on right now. And then, I see something wild. “wait, does that say “treasure”?1!?”.

Notes:

AN: there! intrigue once again; now you GOtta come back! please leave a comment when you do! (it really really helps me stay motivated, like seriously. Stay safe. Stay kind. Stay silly. - Badge <3

Chapter 9: Ch9: A Haematocyst

Notes:

AN: new chapter. please enjoy :)

“wait wait wait, where are we agin?” Xx_jay_xX said all grumbleumping from the back of our explorign party, mouth full of cobbeweb reminants, head fulla nothin/.

“we been over this Bud. Were under the grande chhatue under the blizzard™, in the secret passage we found in dr grosss’s studdy. After his murder. Truth de la Riott, the check in babe-- found a passage behind the bookshelf, that lead to a cricket pitch that you and I have been staying in free of charge for the last couple of weeks while we wait to get snowed-out. And weve been staying in the bleachers of the pitch, under the hotel, in the mountain. Uner the blizzard:tm: and we saved a book from the snowed in studdy, of the dead author (mr gross) . And it had a treasusure mapp in it. ” Val3ntine explained with put-upon patience to his brother;. Breakign the cobwebbs out in front of him as he forged onward into the darkenss of the new streach of hidden hallways. “no offence but, did you like...take your meds today Bro?”

“nono. I got that, but like…” JJ’s voice came in timid but unwavering from behind you. “where are we... narratively?”

For a moment, the sound of your three sets of footsteps bounced around the unfininshed corradoors of the hottel’s forgotten laybrinth, offset only by the pounding of their heartbeats in their ears. The space before Valentine responded was just a beat to long for normal conversation. 

“I don’t know man, that’s traditionally more your wheel-house.” Trudie watched the sway of Val’s cheep iorn-in patches in the almost dark in front of her, afraid to speek, less the lucidity break. She cringed at the noise of tearing of cobwebs in front of them, as her ears stretched out, hopefully, for the next semi-sensible scrap of dialog.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” JJ swallowed. The whole club heard it. “Its just... it feels a bit like were treading water here, were what, 3 ‘weeks’ , 8 chapters and 10,000 words in- and what do we have to show for it? Not much, from the feel-”

A long- a bandoned can caught someone’s heavy boot-toe, causing loud tinny clamboring sound to croud the already crowed space. The rooms adrenaline spiked wildly. Everyone jusmped at the noise, and hit something unfortunate off the tight wells of the chambers. The spell broke, the reality caved back in on it;s self, the strukture spranng backout to it’s baseline/. Heart rates still elevated, the team half collected their asses and contuned forward; with both the conversation and exploration.

“Idk man, why don’t you just call Him and ask!?“ Val ntine snarled, uncharatoristically. Rubbing his tender wenis through his shirt, as he forded the dingey halls with a renewed passion.

“I would, but its not that siumpel” Xx_jay_xX growled back, With sudden hostileness, and a bit of a mubble. As he kept checking to see if his tooth had cut his lip, when he bonked his face.  

“Wait, who is this “him”, yall are talking about?” Truth asked looking over your shoulder to catcxh X_jay_’sxX eye for a moment. He opened his mouth to respond, but Val3ntine spoke first. 

“Trust me! you don't want to know.” the air in the corradoor brissled. You could feel it charging us with unspoken words. Everyone’s bloodpressure was up.

“dissbeliving pilled true;-reality maxer.” Xx_jay_xX grmbleed from behind you. You stoped short qs the non sensical sentence hit your brain, causing your conversation partner to walk into the back of you for a stumbly second.  “Ow!” he exclaimed. 

“What does that even MEAN tho, Xx_JAY-xX???” the bigger boy looked ascant for a moment alomost embarised at his phrasing . before hisbrother spoke for him. 

“It don't mean Shit, Truth.”Val barked before contuning more smoothly to explain. His voice still biting  “I appologise for my dear brother and cofidon, he contracted  a mild brain-rottign fungus in a camping trip in the everglades we went on as youths, and has never fully recovered:” Trudie could feel the anger steaming off of Xx_jay__xX beside her as val spoke. 

“Shut UP Val!” Xx_jay_xX spat and foamed. Fist clutched all auther-meme-like by his sides. “just because you don't believe-” 

“Belive in WHat, Bro! your immagininery Dad? “ val laughed meanful, all teeth and throat about it. Truth looked back and forth between the two brothers with bad vibes in her stomach, her leg hair standing on end in the tension. 

“Hes not my ducking dad, you A$$hat!” Xx_jay_xX growlewd low an meaninsing both fist curled now with growing violient urges, face pink with rage.Truth de la riott pressed her self back against the wall wishing she wasnt between the two biquiring boys, and began to spoke up with “The Art and Practice of Conflict Resolution” collage corse in her mind. 

“Hey gang, maybe we don't-” she started.

“You know what Xx_jay_xX, that kinda, makes it sadder.” Val quipped all cruel and hair flippy. “Like even your fake daddy dosent want-” 

There was a flash of pink and brown fur, and a “yipe!” As Xx_jay_xX Watts entered his wolf-phorm and lunged to attack Val3ntine! Shoving their smart and talented friend back into the drywall behind you and out of the secret passageway.

Notes:

AN: (i feel like i alaways say the same things in these lol,) i hope you like the chapter. it was fun to write. i wish i had more than 2 comments. it would be really kind of you to let me know your out there. this whole thing feels alot like playing for an empty venue rn, you end up kinda wishing someone would care enough to boo, you know? im gonna keep going for as long as it's bringng me joy, but i know from expereiance that alot of my joy comes from making friends and talking about ideas and such, and it's really hard to keep this going in a vacuum. anyway, no pressure, i know it's rough out htere. we all have like 5,000 "hey interact with me" signals beign tossed in our faces all the time, it just sucks that i dont have like the same draw as a phone-ad. anyway, i hope your doign well regarless. no flamming please. lol. <3 stay safe. Stay kind. Stay silly - Badge

Chapter 10: The FuCK is happening?

Notes:

AN: wholey shit! lock in folks we doing that “in media rezz” bullshit this week. Hope you have fun ;)

Truth de la Riott (aka ME!!!) is hanging over a yawning void, having fallen sackackwords threw the anchent drywall of a secret passageway in the Grande Chattoe. It was not even my falt -as a fight between my two punk friends, -Xx_jay_xX and Val3ntine Watts- had just broken out and I, unfortunatly, were stuck in between the two. AND Worst of ALLL!!! Xx_jay_xX’s outburst combined with the hightend adrenaline,(adn damn it all now that she did the time-math probablly the actual the full moon) had caused me to trans form into my Wolf_phorm and now i was dangling buy my battle harness over a black abyss.

Pannicked wines bounced around in a stoney cavernous way around me, and the room smelled strongly of damp and distance, and rodents, and old wood, and! And!! AND!!!!- Truth shook my head with prioritising, trying to block out he overwhelming blast of nasal information as the new enviorns and hightend ol'factorys threated to cloud my ushual sharp cleaverness.

I tucked my fluffy saber tail between my legs and gathered my legs close to my wolf-like body to try and stabalise my whole entire, stituation while I figured your shit out. I could feel the pull of my body weight against gravity on my cool battle vest, sujestin it had caught on something above before me plummeted any farther, I didn’t want to test how “caught’ I wad, before finding a way back up. I was thankful that I had sewn that enchated charm into my battle jacket, that caused it to be transformed into a dog harness and back when I trans my form, or I woulda been a splat on the bedrock below me. (the charm also helps me not be naked when I trans back into a human. wich is a nice bone-us )

I carfuly reach out with my front paws to see if I can find someplace to climb up, before whatever is holdign me up decided to stop. My little toe beans eventually land on some rocky terraine just off to my left, but it seems pretty vertiacle in orantetion, wich sucks for not havign thumbs about the whole thing. I scrabble at the surface in the dark, with my doggo nails. Now that I have some berring I start to notice noises happening beyond the cliffface im next to. A volly of low and high pitched dog barks and growls are happening further up, probabbly Xx_jay_xX and Val3ntine still fighting. I turn my head up and bark loudly at them, trying to get their attenion!

My powerful barking, bounces around the cavernous space, my cleaver paws disloge a hunka rock or something from the clifside, and cant help but whine more as I think about also subcomming to gravity. The idea is entrily uncool to me. I wonder a bit if I could get my back leg up to try and like… scratch my ear(?) if I would hit the whatever caught on my harness straps letting me swing up, but decide that I would risk just disloging myslef entirly and falling downwwards. Wich again, seems like a bummber (at time of recording). But thankfuly the noises from above change and I have something beyond my own fucked situation to think about.

I could hear the fiteful noises from the passage above me had stoped, and now conserned barking was traving closer to me and my bad time. I gave more barks up at the sound of my friends, trying to stay still as I swayed in the darkness. Eventualy a little excitable bark could be heard from directly above me, fallowed by a more bass-y almost-slober-mouthed barking.

And suddenly i see Xx_hay_xX in his wolf-phorm! Its still dim as fuck so i can make out colors but he’s a chubbish but energetic jack terrier mutt, with fluffywaved furs, and a cute little hankercheif over his collar. I barked up at him in a greeting, his shape helping me defines how high the cliff-edge is.

“Bark! bark bar- bark!” i order hoping that Val and Him hadnt actually been too fighing, so they could work together to save me. I assume thats the case becase Xx_jay_xX runs off iummedeetly, only saying:

“Arfarf arf arf arf!” as he zoomes off to (hopefuly) find reinforcements. In the mean time i try to make out the clifftop now that i know where it is, and think very floaty thoughts( just incase it helps with the not falling). It didnt seem like ive gone too fdar down i could maybe look up to see the ground if i stretched my neck up enough. But it’s definitely far enough off terra firma that im not going to Roll back to safety.

Luckily its not too long before teh boys return, now with Val3ntine in tow. Val in his wolf-phorm looks down at me with dumb intrest, his blockly piutbull face cocked to one side, as he studdy’s the situation. After a moment, he seems to have an idea.

“Ruff?” he askes.

“Bark!” i answer back smartly. before he turns to his brother

“Ruff! Rr-ruff!” he directs, standing tall and still as Xx_jay_xX fallows the instruction and finds a little flashlight ina pocket on his harness. “Ruff!” Val3ntine says excitedly, “Rrrruff, ruff ruff ruff”

I cant see them but, from their noises i can tell that theyre spending some time trying to turn on, and hold the little hand-held torch, all wihtout thumbs. I am still trying to imagine what it would feel like to be that feather from forest gump, so i can not land as hard when whatevers holding me up faills.

“A-f A-f A-f” i hear Xx_jay_xx mumble, mouth clearly filled with the flashlight. Theres a grumbling doggo noise, and then a bright spear of light slashes across the space above me, it swings wide and uncornanated for a moment before settling on the clif edge, just above me. Rim-lighing the situation.

“-uff, -uff, uff --uff uff uff” Val3ntine explains with a little difficulty, now that he’s holding the flashlight in his (admitedly) bigger mouth. The light moves out above me, and then on me, i squint n cover my snowt with my paw to try and dave my darkvission. I can feel Xx-jay_xX in his smaller wolf-phorm venture out on whatever snagged me, by the way i tremble and bounce in mid air. I try not to whine too much so the boys can focus, but every move Xx_jay_xX makes feels like its going to be the one that sends me plummeting. Until i finally do actually plummet.

Notes:

AAAHH! oh no! i hope Truth is alright, come back about this time next week and we'll all find out together! <3 stay safe. Stay kind. Stay silly.

Chapter 11: Interlude

Notes:

AN: n/a

>The darkness was forever. An empty nothingness of not simply unconsciousness, but preconstruction. It is a waste of words to describe; we did not exist to remember it. And yet the darkness was, and would come to be again. It- like most of the facts of the universe- doesn’t require our participation, or even acknowledgment.

This is uncomfortable for mortal minds, and not because they tend to be self-important. Our minds are simply not designed to hold such infinities. This is why we invented fiction. Or else we would have gone mad; night one, looking up at the endless void of space yawning meaningless out to forever just above our heads. But instead we made stories, a story of firmament- of clockwork- of heroes trekking across the stars. Fiction pulled the sun up from the sea and swallowed the moon in the morning. So much so that we often lose track of the boundary between the two.

But Fiction is different from fact, for many reasons. The chief among them being: fiction only lives when it is being imagined as living. Characters only breathe when we animate the fall and rise of a chest. Only think when thoughts are given to them. Ahab only sails when someone imagines his whale. Sonic only shits when you want him to. Stories need you to participate; the characters die without you.

Badge –your faithful author woke up for the first time on my couch. I had never woken up before, so the couch was quite a surprise. It must have once been a very nice couch- a subtle floral brocade in tasteful neutral tones sagged dutifully across a solid frame. I could feel the frame boards slotted in at the curve of my spine in an almost-tenable way. It took lifting up to sit to make first contact with the ancient springs, which had sunk down into the bowels of the upholstery.

Then there was the mess, an unraveling, endless sprawl of a confused life. Bright bits of scrap-cloth bound into a rat's nest, by various electrical cords. Unevenly creased paper -wedged haphazardly into bins that held anything from CFL bulbs to wool roving. The detritus was strewn across the couch, entombed the coffee table, and spilled off into unlit rooms beyond. It was overwhelming to behold, my mind cluttering at just a glance.

I knew it was mine at the sight of it- every crusty t-shirt, and liberated ramune marble, all of it: mine. Mine to own, mine to care for, mine to succumb to, but mine the less. I could taste the fiction of it, like a bullet point on my reference sheet. "Badge owns the House". It made me want to roll over, and retreat back into the distended foam of my birthplace.

Dear reader, I would be lying if I pretended I didn't try. But as explained before, unconsciousness is not preconstruction. And no amount of desperately trying to sleep my way out of it seemed to cureme of my current situation. So instead, (eventually) I rose.

There was a patch of filthy carpet cleared in front of my position on the couch, which connected to a tentative path out of the living room. It led mostly to a half-finished bath. New flooring and unfinished drywall greeted me. I couldn't find a sink, although the tub and toilet were new.

Next to this was a kitchen. The table and chairs had been swallowed by clutter, and the sink was overrun with dishes. It would have taken some maneuvering to make it back to investigate the fridge. So instead I checked the front door, and good word the Sun!

I blinked out into the light of day. Muscle memory, I hadn't had the opportunity to build, leading me down my steps blindly. Baking black asphalt kept me from lingering- as I walked directionless and blinking down the driveway, through a small scrap-cluttered yard, and down to the creek.

I paused as I moved through the knotweed; no longer certain of why I had ventured out, and itchy with all the newness of consciousness. I found myself folding and refolding the sleeves of my unbuttoned button-up a couple times. Mostly because doing it meant I had sorted something out.

When I walked out onto the stones, I felt soothed. The air was cooler down here by the burbling waterway, and the trees along the banks filtered the light in a dreamy green sorta feel. I didn’t think about going down to the water, but suddenly I was there. Watching the current carve the shale into home -nanometers at a time. I noticed the reflection of a badger flicker in the water’s surface before me, with dull curiosity.

They moved with me, the black streaks contrasting from alabaster fur; warped by the current and inset with a pair of simple, shrewd eyes. They turn back and forth to see themselves better in the natural mirror. I wasn’t sure what I had expected from me; I supposed I hadn’t really thought about it. But being a badger didn’t feel too strange, and I guess I looked handsome in a Brian Jacques' "Redwall" sort of way. As a whole, my reflection felt trivial, just another unexplained detail in a clusterfuck of the surreal.

I plunged black paws into the stream, disrupting my visage to splash water up over my face and down my neck -not bothering to keep my undershirt dry. Squatting next to the creek, and washing my furry face for the first time. I look down, and there lying half in the sand of the bank: a leatherbound waterlogged bulletjournal.<

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Notes:

AN: stay safe, stay kind, stay silly <3

Chapter 12: A new Trian

Notes:

AN: ok back to our regularly scheduled fic, lets find out what happened to truth.

The falll was not far; I (aka Truth. aka the protag. aka very smart and cleaver punk girl who just happens to currently be a dog onna counta im a werewolf) hit maybe a foot below where i was and rolled down the steep cliff of dirt clods until i am once again not moving, and presumably on real ground n shit. (It feels real ground into my fur, if you know what I mean. Anyway!) it turns out that the whole ‘dangling over a cliff’” thing was less of an issue, than the tone of the scene would have implied.

And yippie my awesome sugoi life, because my friends Xx_jay_xX and Val3ntine Watts, totally just dropped me off that cliff after shoving me threw some dry wall. So lucky break about me not actually dying just then. -Even if I was pretty sure* they way didn’t mean to. (*as in I am pretty, and also sure about this). It was all still a bummer that gravity had to get involved at all.

I shake around a bit trying to get the dust out of my fur, but the fear had coated me in sweat when I was hanging and now im essentially country-fried in dirt. My sleek black furs all waxy and dingy in an ichyful way. Some loose material clouds up around me but most of it sticks in, so instead I switch to scratching at where my harness is to try and break up the dirt thats packed in under there. Im in the middle of this work when Xx_jay_xX goes running bi, tail over ears, down the steep hillside.

His momentums all fucked up and it sends him careening off beyond where ive fallen, as his little jack-terrier legs float over the loose rocks in a comical way- preventing friction enough to stop. I turn to try and see where he went. when his brother Val3ntine, comes sledding down the hill on his pitbull booty; sinewy legs braced owttward, dust clouds as his wake. Unfortunately im too busy worrying about Xx_jay_xX and looking his direction to doge the bigger pupper. And I become part of Val’s breaking systems.

We all land hard against something unmoving and metal, in a jumble of doggo legs and dust. Theres a moment where we all just lay there, makign sure nothing hurts too bad for a second. Before we start untangling ourselves.

“arf arf , arr-arf” Xx_jay_xX says as an attempt to lighten the mood. Val3ntine gives a huff of amusement, winch I take to mean there no longer fighting. Wich is a relife. We sit in a circle trying to get as much dirt off of ourselves before we move on.

“Rr-ruff, Ruff Ruff!” Val3ntin agrees good naturedly, rubbing his knobby front ankle against his head trying to scrubb a chunk of mud thats been lodged just above his left eyebrow. His docked tail waggaling happyly at the good vibes the team had again. I notice for the first time in my wolf form that he smells like a subdued alpha. This means he’s a naturally dominant werewolf, but uses a medical intervention to hault that hormone cycle, to avoid the symptoms associated with that. Its not uncommon in a similar way that someone may use birth control or HRT.

Out of curiosity- Truth moved her head to see if she could sniff out Xx-jay’s_xX’s deal. He smelled like a omega on suppressants, so a naturally submisive wearwolf with the medical interventions and such. I file the information away as not particularity important at the moment, but decent to know about my friends in a general sorta way, as long as I don’t act like a creep with the info, you know? Again similar to sexual wellness in earth prime, just done for a social construct around biology that you arnt as fimilar with.

“Arf ar arf?” Xx_jay_XX asks the club, prompting us all to look around the space to see if theres any clues about were we are. It takes a minuet for me to piece together what im looking at when i look at the thing we ran into, but when i do i cant hold the revelation in- and have to share it with everyone!

“Bark-y Bark! Bar- BARK!” now the brothers are looking at it too!, and realizing it IS a train! Its a big old express train, sitting on a set of tracks. We ran into one of the heavy metal rail-wheels, and are now looking the whole thing up and down,. Xx-Jay_xX looks up so much hes falling backackwards. i spend my time trying to see if i can see where the tracks lead in the darkness of the underground cavern, before wondering outloud “Bar- Bark bark Bark-bark.”
“Rr ruff ruff.” Val answers cautiously, peerign down the tracks the way i was.

“Arr arf-arf Arf!” xx-jay_xX sujests, already standing up on that little decorative-grate step that the ticket-master (or whatever their called) stand.
“Ruff!” Va3ntine scolds, darting after his younger brother as the terrior darts into the inside of the train.

“Arf! Arf Arf arf Arf-Arf Arf Ar-Arf Arf.” Xx_jay_xX narates as he explores deeper into the train car without heeding his blue brother’s warning. Giving Val and I no option about fallowing in after him.

Notes:

AN: thats it for this week! thanks for readign along, please leave a comment.

sence no one is doing things in this fandom anyway im coining a new term: "Icing." its like the oposite of "flaming" where the mean-ness comes not from people harassing you. but instead people juat not careing or wanting to interact with your shit at all. i like that it also draws on the hockey term (ive been told it's when everyone is at one end of the rink, and you send the puck sailing off to the other end, without gettign a goal.) it think it helps convey that while it feels kinda mean from my perspective, it is altimently my fault for not writing someting thats not a "goal" and wasnt near where anyone was hanging out anyway.(does that logic track it makes senc in my head, but less so when i try to pin it into words.)

ANyWay! Yall STOP ICING!!!! my shit is GOOD and FUnny And worth the read actually! yall are stupid corpo-narcs who dont support independent artist. i know so many of yall (the general public) are horny about Ai slop. BUt LOOK im right here, a real (?) person serving up hot fresh hand crafted artisinal slop, at breakneck speeds. wouldnt you rather have that?

regardless, i hope your doing well, whenever you read this. i hope you feel loved. i hope you know i love you. i hope it all gets better - in general. i hope we a a collective planet, continue to try and do better, and make shit better, and invest in the betterment of everything forever and ever, amen. stay safe, stay kind, stay silly. -badge <3

Chapter 13: Ch12: a Baller Rooms n’ muzzles

Notes:

AN: ok! im a little late this week, but im also like 90% sure im the only one reading as it comes out, so like... no harm no fowl i guess. sound off in the comments if not!!! id way put more energy into publishing regularly if i knew people cared. anyway, lest go see what this trains all about!

 

A jack terroir, a pitbul and a german sheapard board an underground train. Doesn’t that sound like the set up for a joke? it way sounds like the set up for one of those classic water cooler jokes. “hey bob, ya' hear the one 'bout the jack terrier, sherman ghepard and pit bull boarding a train? ,,, yes?,,,,,, Well fuck me then.... :/ ”

But its not a joke. its my irl lived in exsperaince. Hi. my names Truth de la Riott. (the german sheapard wearwolf from the not joke.)) and I happen to be fallowing two of my bestist friends into a train we just found, despite my better judgement.

my friend Xx_jay_xX had run in first, in his wolf-phorm witch looks liek a little jack terror dog. he was fallowed by his brother Val3ntine, who looked like a pitbull as of late. this was classic them, and i was being classic mee too, running in after them. becaue thats what good friends do.

okay so, the three of us are booking it down the runway of this train, Val is ruffing that Xx_jay_xx needs to come right on back here and stop trying to get into trouble. but Jay is having none of it. dartign down the tight door-studded hallway with so so many zoomies. im the only one doing any observing about the situation, as Val3tine is only focused on keeping Xx-jay_xX safe, and Xx_jay_xX seems only intersted in moving the plot forward at all costs. so i get to be the one noticing all the deatils, yay! my favoret.

so the first car is fore shore a sleeper car, but is smells like no-ones slept here for months. its all done up in thin wood venere and loop pile carpet. but in a nice tasteful way, like its a real wood venering I can smell the anigre and polyvinyl chloride. And theres like, a little floral design in the carpeting that fallows the shape of the room n shit. The last room has been used very recently buy at least 2 people. I catch the smell of dog-nip, chew-rawhide, coconut oil, and gunpowder.

ve47n?rpeting       theres a second sleeper car with the doors closer together in the next car. i deduce that must mean these are smaller cheaper rooms, the last room on the right smells ALOOOOT like human-nip, and has a hall light on with a red bulb in front of the door, i could see threw the windows, from the cars behind. but the club doesnt even stop to investigate, becuse Xx-Jay_xX vaults over the gap of the next car-junction, Val and i in hot pursuit.

this room is a coach car. brass fixings, lamanate pine floor and rows and rows of classy bench seating fly by us. all facing back the way we came, so we must be running twords the caboose. theres also like, entirely toomuch sound equipment. like theres like a couple of those bords with all the hookups, and that thing with the slidign bars that control all the levels in a recording. and then the rest of the seats have a various instrament cases on them, sevral guitar lookign things, a couple big hardshell horn dealios.

the next coach car is more orderly but clutterd. in this one all of the bench seats area acting as really low impractical shelving for tons and tons of books! i dont get to read any titles, but mostly they are sorted into bigg and beefy, or thriftily handbound, theres also like some stacks of zines and more localy made magazines. . In the middle someone has removed couple seats and replaced it with a neat little desk and macthing stationary sorage. but low we keep zooming! Xx_jay_xX keep up his pace his joyfull arf arf arffingis heard bouncing back as an eco as i pass the windows at breakneck speeds

Xx_jay_xX did actually slow down in the next car. And no wonder becase it smells so so So good! Frying eggs and hash and Freeking bacon AnD sausage! Its the dining car! Empty forest green tables streach out before us, with maroon easy-wipe booth seats all framed with fox-oak ascents. The little terrier is all looking around with determination now, and Val hangs back a bit, giving space for

xx_jay_xX onna counta how food-aggressive hes known for being. XX has stopped barking now, and has rooted out where the breakfast is.
Instead he is endevoring to fingure out a way to get up to the table the plate of food is on, val and I sit for a moment watching his little wolf-phorm try to jump up onto the seat, before Val gives a huff of duty-bound ness and aproches to help push his brother up with his blocky pit-head under Xx_jay’s_xX butt. At first Xx_jay_Xx gives a little knee-jerk growl of ‘my food’ before his actual thoughts override his insticts and tucks his little pink-tiped tail, yonder his legs. But once he’s up on the seat and diggign into the warm plate of food, with recless abandon, it;s clear form his little whip tail whipping with excitament.

“Ruff, ruff rrr-ruff” Val3ntine says after a moment, turing off to the back of the train with more hunger than sence in mind. Im about to say that its not good sence to go find more food, until we know who made this food and if there a danger, when a human-shaped person walks into the car from the door we didn’t enter.

(an: I need you to imagine the next paragraph with agressive non stop jack terrior barking in the back round a' caus' a XX is now standing on the table barking with alertness, but not attacking beace that would mean he would stop having to scarf down a hash scramble, and im pretty sure it's got turkey sausage in, so- THats not Happening. . Im not going to write the arfs In-in becase it would be bad to read, but if you could like… have a friend just constantly arfing while you read this next bit it would help with the immersion. (Maybe play this in a nother tab if you don’t have friends irl.)

“um… uh, .... ... 'ello-” said the stranger in a posh british voice. He was a thin young black man with a shock of short blond locks and skin the color of human with an amount of melanin. He had octaginal brass framed glasses, and a matching lose-delicate prong collar/necklace. a jazzy 90’s style bowling shirt with a bold gemetric pattern on -circles and waved lines were the motif, in floridian pinks and purples. He also was wearing deep teal corderoy slacks with a couple big structural patches. His shoes were mostly butter-yellow, and nice in a way that made me want to research modern shoe-culture. He was standing and blinking at the club, a large tumblr of orange juice in one hand, a huge lavender beaker bong in the other. 

Notes:

AN: OOOH wow! a new person how intreeging! dont you want to come back? dont you want to write a comment about how cute they look? dont you want to go apeshit? anyway i hope things are nice out that way. hope the weathers tenable, and the food is affordable and all that. look forward to hearign from you soon. dont forget to write (A comment)
<3 stay safe. Stay kind. Stay silly.

Chapter 14: Accidentally Antagonizing to Someone

Notes:

AN: ready to meet Occam?heck yeah; Lets go!!!

Whats up gamers!!! welcome back to MY improbbabble! it’s your protag here, Ba==Truth de la Riott, and were back at it agiain, with the ghost hunters adventure club™! Thats Me- the brains, Val3ntine Watts- the heart, and his brother Xx_jay_xX- the drive. Today were sittign down and having breakfast with our guest/newst friend Occam- the stoner!!!!

“Bark, bar-bark, Bar bar bar-bark bark?” I ask our human shaped friend, with genuin curiosity and politness- now that the four of us are all sitting, eatign the breakfast spread that Occam cooked up for us- it was amazing to wach and difficult to describe, there were great complex smells and masterfull visuals, and lots of losts of fore-shadowing/ characters moments. Good shit, glad we did it.

“mmnnafph-???” said Occam, mouth cartoonishly fulla eggs-loaded toast-. All of the talking stoped for a moment as all of us wached the man quickly chew and swallow his food, his wide pink eyes magnified behid his glasses, looking exsactly like the pink circles on the vibrant shirt he waswearing, brown irises dartign around to meet me and Val’s doggie eyes.

Val3ntine Watts was a ashy blond pit bull. with some with large french blue spots down his back ( (the same color as his dyes human hair). He had a croped tail, and wore a full body “service animal” harnes in GHAC™ yellow, over a denuim shirt with supply pockets on. He sat like marmuduke, and had a silver nose ring that matched the dog-tags on his neck on a leather dully-spiked collar. (there were dulled-spikes on the harness too, and patches on his shirt.) he was sittign next to Occam looking at them with open curiosity, despite the man’s sweating.

I was wearing my black-battle harnness, -(its like that padded mesh stuff with a couple cool patches sewed on, and some little pockets I can get into.. Im a sleek jets black german shepard, with just a little bit of chestnut brown around my muzzle and feet and tail. I have a little safety relice, hi-vis ghac™ yellow collar. With my little pink-enamale hearnt on. And also my earings in my wolf ear are now dangly with the ones that were in my human ears beign the charms. I had politly stoped eating, and was looking back and forth between Occam and his uneaten sloppy-style breakfast-sandwich trembling above his plate.

Xx_jay was standign on the table across the way, lapping at his empty plate, and garding the bowl of coffee/hot chocholate, that Occam had poured for him, with a low but not entirely unfriendly growl.. He was a dark brown brindle jack terrior mutt with faded-dyed-pink undercoating. He wore a charming little red hankercheif with yellow’n’black hearts on. And a yellow pleather strappy harness, that attached to his chain collar.

Occam swallowed heavaly, shuttign his owlish eyes comicaly as his did so as if he felt rushed to swallow more. He fallowed the chewwign with some hurried gulping of orange juice, and then a quick clossign of his eyes again as if he needed a moment to recolect himself. The culb let him passently, polite but curious dog faces trained on him with polite intensidy.

“um- ah- sorry.” the man croaked, with his british west-country accesent. (All hitten those rotic arR’s still, think Hagrid’s accent from ‘the transphobaphobe’s stone’. but like if hagrid was a young 20somthing black man who might make tenor in the choir, (and also not written by someone who actively funds the erosion of civil rights(yay!))) “you see- I wasnt exsactly, how you say, 'exspecting' company... at this... Present moment, and so I went and got just like- just, so SO SOOOOOOO (so)baked, before you lovely folks went and ... ummm.- showed up(?). and that has just DECimated my ability to understand dog. --- at this particular-exsact um.time.” occam said his voice wavoring like a new piccalo player, as he kept his eyes closed as if to focuss. “so I ~SENSCERLY~ appologise forfor for 4 four. thee, thee lack of-communication, but could you please stop watchign me eat.... ... . .. .... ... ... ... ..
. ... pleese.”

the entire crew spent some time suddenly exsamining the cealing of the train car. And eatign the scrummy food all sheepish like. (except for XX_jay_xX who just turned around and was lapping at his bowl with joyful tail waggers.) it was a nice cealing, lackered wood in a foresty green. Good shit, glad we looked.

After a loong bit of us all minding our own beese wax, and chewing all smol and not letting no one notice much. Occam gave a small poilite coaugh and turned to Val3ntine, with a sained-glass sheild of deterimination. Saying” um,….!!!! VAL!!! WAs…. it, wel um, well goooooood wolf furend.-HI!”

the poor man had put a single hand up almost in defence, Valentine, worked a minuet to get the beverage-glass off his noes, and sat it lopsided attention, eyes shifting from our new friend, and anyw-fucking where elec, as a way to try and not seem threatening. Occam coughed again, and tryied to re center his thoughts, holdign his hands out in front of him, turned to Val, as if to remind himself he wanted to push the conversation forward at all cost. “ok, VAL, well if you are - in fact- real it would be very helpful if you just went and… um… sorta, kinda, just    move-JUSTFOR A moment!- on the count of, that I might- that-i I DO- i must, i hAVE to go to the lavaratory. (thank you for youre consideration) ”

Val nods happay and moves off the seat to let Occam go. when he sits back down, he does so in occams seat, (he scooches the plates over with his nose) so the man wont have to ask anyone to move again- it looked like it hurt..

"ruff ruff ruf=ruff?" Val asks quitetly, lapping at his plate, a bit- his head all sideways and still holding eye contact with me.

"BAr-Bar BArk." i answer honnestly, in an unashamed voice. (it is not a bad thing to admit you dont know shit sometimes, just fyi. it's actually like really smart to say "idk" when you really dont know, it;s how you get to learn new things. exspeshaly when the question is like "wahts the fucking deal with this new guy.' thats can be a bit of a trickky question and shouldnt bee dignifyed with a shitty half-informed responce.

"ruff." Val clarifies with a little head shake, of dissagreement. " Ruf ruff ruff ruff-" and here he puts a paw up to his muzzle and makes a cross-eyes-inhaling face as if taking a big hit of doog-nip to show that we both know Occam is like that at this exsact moment. "RUF, ruf RUFF rrr-ruff? "

and that IS a good point, Occam way should be in his wolf-phorm, if everyone in the AU is a wearwolf! why isnt he a wear wolf rn? i am suddenly so filled with new interesting things to learn and know about i can hardly contain myfles, but i also know you cant just ask someone why their not a wear-wolf, becase idk maybe theres like species-cism that im not privy to becaus i lead a really sheltered life. idk, like i dont tink i did(live a sheltered life that is) , but now also iv3 enever met a not-wear wolf before, and so i MUST be more sheltered than i think - or something. but im also cool, and good at being in social situations, so intead of saying all <-that aloud i just reapeat "BAr-Bar... BArk." but now like slowwer now and with more thought.

and thats exsaclty what we were doing when the train started moving.

Notes:

AN: thats is folks thats the chapter for this week. i feel like i always want to get to a certain plot point and then all the words get in the way. idk thanks for reading, leave a comment. <3 take care. stay safe, stay silly. <3

Chapter 15: Man Up

Notes:

AN: hi im back at it with some hot fiction of the fan variety! hope your ready for it. if not the back buttons right there. only venture forth at your own risk. <3

The train jerked foward with a decent understanding of Mr Newton's rules of motion. causing XX_jay_XX (and his hotchocolate) to spill of the table and pool into the easy-wipe seat next to it with a bit of a wet "yelp'. .

no-one waited to figure out what had happened, and we didn’t need to talk about it. we just started running back up the way we came (which just happened to be the way Occam went- how convenyent). -Xx_jay_xX Watts lead the way with a stream of determined arf arf arfs. with Me (Truth de la Riott) and Vall3ntine watts taking up the rear.

it was a short trip back up the train cars. out of dinning, past the librabry, until we fully ran into the doorway between the muisic supply room, and the smaller sleeper cars. (like bodily ran into it, in Xx's case.)

"Ruf- Ruff." Val3ntine swore, looking up at the diy installed dead-bolt-lock at the top of the door, and then the rest of the cart to see if there was anything they could use to flip it's switch.

the two of us start trying to extricate one of the mic-stands from the jumble of supports in a booth. when Xx_jayXX -who had previously been keeping watch. starts Yelling non-stop. "AARF AR-ARF ARRRRRF!!! ARF ARF ARRRF AR-ARFF ARF! ARF-"

this causes everyone to turn and see, a nother person (or posibly Occam in a previously un-shown wolf-phorm? maybee????) standing on all 4s on the other side of the train-gap.

this is a dark grey and balck husky dog. with blood red streaks in it's tail and around where like a " main" might be on a lion. But their isnt an actual main. it's eyes are bloodshot with dog-weed and it spends a moment blinking blearably- as if it was having an issues processing the ghost hunters adventure club's exsistance just beyond the doors.

Xx_jay-XX -for his part, did everything in his power to come off as real as possible, a real threat that is. his arffing causing his little rotund body to dribble on the wood-laminate floors, snarling and threatening the stranger with a furocious and shining set of sharp teeth.

the new wolf-pharm friend watched our fearless leader's display dispassionetly for a bit. looked up at the deadbolt locked firmly high above any of our heads with a moment of consideration, and then turned to walk coolly to the front of the train.

"bark," i request, not acctually thinking the stranger will stop'n'wait, it doesnt. "Bark Bar-bark bark!" i call off after it before it exits the ajacent car. "bark, bar bark."

"Ruff, ruff rrrr-uf." Val3ntine scolds his older brother., nosing the smaller wolf's side with critique.

"arf arf arrf." Xx-jay_xX says defensivly . "and you were just going to let a compleate stranger- oh schist!!! that's english again!" Xx_jay_xX said with suprized, his wolf-phorm blooming upwards to become his human-sona.

“sweet!” Vall3ntine said with re-newed purpous, “Ok Truth can you help grab this mic-arm? I think we can use it to reach the-” Val stopped stooping to lift one of the armatures as the thoughts ordered themselves to the right order in his now human sized head. I reach up with my apposable thumbs and turn the lock at the top of the door-frame, my mouth pressed into a knowing but not to bragadouches smile. As the blue-spiked boy slinked threw all embarised for a moment.

We assumed the first sleeper car was empty, on accounta we saw that wolf looking motherfucker breeze threw here like it was trying to find its friend, and it came out of the only door that had smelled used. It was harder to smell now, but the sent of sweet sweet ganja still hung in the air.

“hey… “ I started asking as we moved down the hallway. “um, why do yall think, we arnt dogs right now?”

“I don’t know, truth.” Xx_jay_xX yes, and-ed; and then after thinking about it added “I don’t think the moon whent down.”

this stopped Val in his tracks, as he checked his digital casio watch to cxonferm "oh shit your right. it's only been like 3 hours MAX sence we started the treasure hunt. and proababbly just under and hour sence we transphormed. we should way still be doggos."

"probabbly for the best tho-" Xx J said, mostly to himself. "i bet the readers prefer the english. " the club ignored him.

there wasnt much of note in either sleeper car, the next room is big... well its the same size actually- there all the size a train cars. but this one has less furnature and finishing touches so it Feels bigger. and theirs liek an entire make-shift pottery set up going on. a small round kiln, sitts across from a decently made wheel at the far end from our entrance. and some wooden shelves and countertops have been built along the windowless metal walls. t

theres not really anywhere to hide in this room, but Val3ntine still took a moment to snoop in cubbards under the workbench- finding only slips and glazes. i can only look over the display of bisk fired ceramic artworks, keeping centry on the shelves near the kiln, and wonder if its the bashful Occam or the shadowy stranger who made them.

the next room is crowded head to cealing with bullshit. theres large industral plastic bins as a foundation, but then it looks like whoevers been using this train as a base, just piled all the unwanted stuff from the rest of the cars on top of that. wich means theres EVery Fucking place to hide in this room.

the club just kinda stands there for a moment tryint=g to figure out what to do about this unsatisfactory situation (aka walking into prime ambush territory, “that is if we are exspectign an ambush- wich we always should be, on account of not expectign an ambush is like the the top way to get abushed.” -as XX-Jay_xx frequently says. Verbatim. Unprompted.)

"well thats uncool." concludes the shorter red boy after a moment of dileberation about the whole situation. and as if to refute XX's claim a Very cool looking human-shaped person stalks into the room. brandishing a Sub-Machine Gun with perfect trigger disaplin. when it spoke it was all low and serious like Kirk Thornton.

"what in the motherfuck, are you Posers doing on my train?"

O

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Notes:

AN: hell yeah another chapter done! take that words, get written down and shit!!! anyway yall should stop Icing me!!!, and also remeber i love you very very much stay safe, staykind, stay silly. <3

Chapter 16: Biblography

Summary:

this is some of the resorces i was looking at when i was writing, i thought it would be cool to add. this ""chapter" will be updated to stay at the end of the fic. so do not be confused, there is absoulty no plot or charactor momnets here. just MLA.

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Notes:

hope you found that fun, nerd(affectionate)

stay safe. Stay kind. Stay silly <3
- Bage (they/them)