Curse of Honour

by Iberiss

Summary:

Major spoilers of Part 1 of Sons of Tanavast Series!

Look away now if you don't want to be spoiled -- I highly recommend reading Part 1 before this fic.

This series replaces book 5 Wind & Truth. Major spoilers for book 4 Rhythm of War.

-

The saga continues;

King of Alethkar, God of Honour and single father. Kaladin’s life came crashing down around him after swearing his fifth ideal. It was the hardest one yet and in the aftermath of the trauma can he recover or will he shatter? Who can he trust when Navani has turned against him, Kalak betrayed him and all of his friends just don’t understand.

Struggling to cope with the grief Kaladin finds himself regressing as he lives a new and simple double life as a recruit. As it turns out Bridge twenty-three needed this new recruit just as much as he needed them.

Meanwhile the desolation continues as Odium does not back down after the Honour shard was reforged. Instead, it is Vyre who hatches a plan to try to turn the war back into the favour of the enemy.

Chapter 1: Aftermath

The enemy was charging straight toward them. Heavenly ones lowering their lances ready to clash with the windrunners and skybreakers whom occupied the skies. On the ground the ranks of singer soldiers moved slower, no longer in war pairs like the listeners during the war of reckoning had fought but instead using formations that resembled Alethkar war tactics.

On their side archers nooked their arrows pointing bows into the sky ready for the signal for the first volley. Horses from the heavy carvery unit stomped restlessly as the riders reined their mounts in.

Skar hovered in the air, Aella as a shardspear in his hands ready and pointed. All of his focus was on the fused in the sky coming toward them at speed. As with all battles he was prepared for chaos, but not the kind that came next.

A brilliant white brightness burst alight in the sky sending out a shock-wave of raw power. Skar tried his hardest not to look, he wanted to keep his attention on the enemy but it was difficult when even the leader of Odium’s forces had given pause midair.

Zoltan, easily recognisable with his mottled red and black carapace had stopped along with a handful of the other shanay-im. That brief moment of hesitation as the singers looked on wide-eyed and seeing their fearsome masters frozen created instant mass panic. Several singers were dropping their weapons and attempting to flee. An entire flank of the enemy forces started to withdraw as a unit. Most of the singers had just stopped. Among those some actively threw down their weapons. Others were itching still to fight but knew advancing was suicide and thought better of it.

Up in the sky the heavenly ones were panicking too before turning and leaving immediately, ditching the army it seemed.

Had Kalak’s plan worked? Something had terrified them.

Finally Skar took stock of his own army and quickly realised that panic and chaos was not just reserved for the singers.

“Hold your positions!” Skar barked out his orders to those near him, mostly other windrunners. He was able to sculpt the wind itself allowing his voice to travel. The orders of the highmarshal had the desired effects snapping many out of their confusion and shock. This was not over yet, they still had an enemy army in front of them. The fused may also come back at a moments notice.

Where was Kaladin?

Skar could no longer see him in the air where he was just a moment ago. He would have been easy to spot too with his sapphire living plate. The only set of its kind on the field.

There was some kind of commotion on the ground in front of the centre ranks. Skar begun drifting nearer as he spotted Lyn lashing Dalinar over to the growing crowd. At first he couldn’t see much but then Adolin had dismounted Gallant, that giant Ryshadium and was forcing everyone back with a wave of his shardblade doing his best at crowd control. Orders were being snapped out by officers pulling the soldiers back into formation.

Now with space around them Skar at last spotted Kalak and Renarin on their knees beside the windrunner king.

A yellow shockspren triangle wiggled in the air beside Skar as he stared down at the ground trying to figure out what had happened. Aella slipping from his grasp and returning into the typical shape of a small blue woman in a long havah dress.

“What’s happening to Kal?” Skar whispered to his spren, still stunned. Yet despite the single shockspren that had already faded the highmarshal was not overly worried – this was Kaladin Stormblessed. The man that could be strung up in a highstorm or run countless bridgerun assaults. The same guy who took a tumble out of a tower some two hundred feet, then fell into a chasm surviving a highstorm and being chewed on by a chasmfiend.

He’d even survived the storming occupation of Urithiru for heralds sake.

“I don’t know, we should go look. Syl looks very distressed.” Aella softly spoke back.

A final glance was shot across to the singer army, many of which were still running to run away while others just stood and waited. None of them were advancing so that at least was something – also reason enough for Skar to feel comfortable leaving his post. Lashings cancelled he dropped to the ground nearby and begun walking closer.

At last, he had pushed his way to the front standing beside Dalinar. Skar was about to speak up and ask what on Roshar was going on but he was once again shocked by what he saw.

No longer was Kaladin on the ground with Renarin and Kalak beside him but it was in fact Jasnah laying there now. Had he seen things incorrectly from above? No this was a new development. At least Kaladin seemed to be fine and that was a relief... but what had happened to Jasnah?

Why was she even here on the frontlines?!

She had her cousin and husband with her, plentiful stormlight and Renarin with restoration. He honestly did not think much of it until suddenly pieces of shardplate were dying right before their eyes – something that had not been witnessed by anyone since the Recreance over two thousand years ago.

Jasnah had broken her vows?! How was this possible?

Skar was not even able to comprehend what he was seeing until a dead shardblade appeared at Jasnah’s side. Even if a radiant were to break their vows their shardblade wouldn’t appear beside them unless...

Jasnah was dead.

There was no other explanation for it as Skar felt the tension and grief in the air. It pressed down upon him hard as if there were still gravitational lashings pulling him down – he'd never felt so heavy.

How did this happened? What were they going to do?

Come to think of it – what had been that blast of light just before the singer army had stopped?

His thoughts were unravelling a hundred questions all at once as he found himself staring. Kaladin had stood up now turning away from them and picking something up from the ground.

Part of him wanted to go over and comfort his friend and his commander but Skar was also hesitant. Nobody else was approaching him – not even Kalak. They did need to get him out of here though... but who would even order for Kaladin’s removal from the field when Kaladin was at the very top of the chain of command?

Before Skar could even consider what they should do next Kaladin had practically lunged at Kalak and it was not for a comforting embrace. Stab after stab his friend plunged a knife into the willshapers shoulder, blood spraying from the gory open wound. Kaladin’s eyes were filled with a blind rage and seeing him act like this – honestly it scared Skar.

Kalak seemed to make no attempt to defend himself either, only stumbling back and drawing in stormlight after Kaladin had stopped. He was just stood there in a daze and bathed in blood. Skar swallowed the lump in his throat. Something had to have happened here. This was more than just grief.

Soon attention was drawn back to Jasnah’s body - the baby was still alive?! Skar had just presumed the child had been lost at the same time as the mother but now that Kaladin and Renarin were refocused and working quickly he realised that might not be the case.

Skar instead glared at Kalak and soon found his feet were no longer rooted to the stone as he marched over to the herald. A firm hand reaching out under his arm to steady the willshaper whom was clearly struggling to stand upright. Stormlight could fix wounds easily enough but the immortal had lost a lot of blood.

“What in damnation happened Kalak?" Skar whisper yelled.

“I... She... She must have told him. I-I don’t know how.” The herald was a trembling mess. His words weren’t making much sense either.

“Kalak.” Skar’s voice was quiet but firm as he now held both of the man’s arms. “How did Jasnah die?” The highmarshal realised he needed to give him very direct and clear questions if he wanted any answers.

It took Kalak a moment as he went from staring with his bright purple eyes over Skar’s shoulder at what Kaladin was doing to finally breathe a little bit more easily and concentrate on Skar. “Old magic.” Was all he whispered.

“Cultivation did this?” Skar asked astonished.

“Indirectly.” Kalak soberly replied.

“What happened to Kal?” He found himself asking next. He was sure he’d seen his friend on the ground first.

“He swore his fifth ideal.” Kalak nervously explained. “He became Honour.”

’That flash of light!’ Skar’s grip loosened as his arms fell to his sides. His mind was reeling as he thought back to that day in Marat when all of the stormlight in the room had been drawn in by Kaladin. He knew the man was close to his fifth ideal but never in his wildest dreams did he ever consider that Honour could be restored – though if there was one man that could pull it off it didn’t surprise him that it had been Kal.

Navani’s yelling is what drew him out of his stunned silence. Skar twisted around facing the woman with a sneer but fortunately Dalinar had beaten him to it and stopped her from interfering. On some level he could understand her rage and grief – but Kaladin didn’t deserve to be screamed at like that. This wasn’t his fault... right? He really hoped that Kaladin was not listening and with luck he hadn’t even heard her as Dalinar escorted the Urithiru queen away.

As Skar turned back around he’d discovered that Kalak had slipped even further away. A part of him was surprised that the man was not going to stick around to see the outcome of the unorthodox birth with its live audience. Yet Skar was highly suspicious of the elder suspecting there was far more going on here. He knew Kaladin better than most and there was no way his friend would just snap like that and resort to violence for nothing.

Perhaps it was for the best Kalak hid for now, should the baby not survive maybe Kaladin would take out his anger once again on the herald.

It was thankfully good news, after a brief scare. The newborn child was alive if the cries were anything to go by. Skar released the breath he’d been holding feeling his shoulders sag. He felt far more tired now then if he’d actually fought in the battle they had been expecting.

Kaladin looked worse than he’d ever seen the man before. Covered in blood, clutching the baby as he swayed side to side. Anyone with eyes could see that the man needed help. It was Adolin that had approached first, Skar was too far to hear what the blonde Kholin highprince had said but he did however see Kaladin’s reaction.

He’d grabbed Adolin’s wrist after breathing in stormlight from Renarin’s pouch and then broke it without any hesitation. Skar winced hard, that had looked especially painful. For the second time now Skar watched his friend with a degree of fear and trepidation. That was two loved ones now, family, that Kaladin had openly harmed in front of everyone.

With quick strides of his long legs the man in question was leaving, soldiers in a hurry to part like waves allowing him and the crying babe through with no resistance. Someone had to go after him and Skar knew it had to be him. They couldn’t leave Kaladin alone right now – not after everything that had just happened.

The highmarshal walked quickly after his commander, it was difficult to keep up with his much shorter stride but fortunately Kaladin was heading straight towards the camp. Exactly the place that Skar wanted him. He needed to be somewhere private and quiet away from all the prying eyes and risks of being on the frontline. He needed to be somewhere they could look after the baby as well.

It was just outside of Kaladin’s tent where Skar finally caught up to him, sipping on a little stormlight so that he was not out of breath from the fast march to keep up. “Kaladin wait!” Skar called out to him some twenty steps ahead.

He was worried Kaladin wouldn’t stop and would instead ignore him but was pleasantly surprised when he did, turning slowly to face the other windrunner with a blank and paled expression. What Skar did notice though was that he was shaking.

Taking in a deep and steadying breath Skar approached with caution, as if he were a dangerous whitespine with a cub. “It’s ok Kal, I’m here to help.” Skar reassured as he took slow steps closer.

He could see the baby a little more clearly now as he edged nearer. The child was small, to be expected when they were premature and the back of their tiny head was covered it little strands of black hair. Skar couldn’t see anymore however as the baby was held against his friends chest, one hand underneath them holding them up while the other supported the back of their head.

“I don’t know what happened but it will be alright. Everyone wants to help you Kal. You and the baby.” Skar comforted and right up until the baby was mentioned it had the desired effect.

The mere word of the baby made Kaladin visibly flinch, taking a stumbled step backwards. The man was terrified as Skar quickly extended out his arms trying yet again to calm the new father down.

“We should get you into your tent, give the baby to someone to look after.” Skar explained as he again took another step closer. It seemed rather absurd that he was trying to coax Kaladin into trusting him. He was bridge four, they were practically family after everything they had been through together.

Had Kaladin finally relented? The younger man dripping in blood slowly lowered into a half crouch. One hand holding the child, the other placed on the ground as if propping himself up. Skar breathed a sigh of relief until he saw wisps of stormlight drawn from his jacket pouches being breathed in by the man in front of him.

Skar frowned deeply wondering what Kaladin was doing but he discovered soon enough as his boots begun sinking into the ground as if it were wet fresh crem. “Kal stop!” The highmarshal exclaimed, hands reaching out but Kaladin was just out of reach.

Slowly bit by bit Skar sunk deeper, each time he tried to pull his boot out it made things worse as the liquid rock swallowed him up to his waist. By this point Kaladin was stood again backing away wordlessly.

“Kal let me out.” Skar at this point fought the urge to wrestle his way out but now that Kaladin had moved away the stone floor was no longer a thick crem but instead had hardened back to how it had been originally.

Meanwhile the windrunner that wasn’t sealed into the floor still glowed with some of the leftover light he’d taken from Skar’s reserves. Lashings were applied as Kal slowly rose into the air.

“Kal wait, don’t go! Stay here!” Now that the stone was solid Skar tried again to thrash and escape. Angry, scared, betrayed? He wasn’t sure what to think as his friend lashed himself away from the camp leaving him behind.

- - - -

Back on the frontlines the chaos ensued. Whatever chain of command they had when the battle had began had collapsed now and nobody really knew what they were supposed to be doing. Their queen was dead, their king out of action. Dalinar and Navani had left heavy with grief. Adolin had now been healed by Renarin but both boys were sitting on the ground in shock side by side.

Kalak was not in a much better state. After having lost so much blood he’d sat next to some of the heralds whilst they discussed what had happened amongst themselves.

After some time Nale, Leshwi and highprince Ruthar had joined them. Nale had dismissed his silver shardplate and honourblade long ago but Relis didn’t have that luxury with his plate as he joined the group holding the reins of his warhorse.

“We can’t wait for the others, or for orders.” Relis spoke up to the small group of heralds gathered and the lone fused. “We carry on with the mission as planned. Our goal is to convert the singer army.”

“I suggest we send messengers over to negotiate terms of their surrender. Find out how many are willing to move to Narak.” Nale proposed and none of their group objected.

“I’ll send some of my skybreakers to oversee this. They might be able to track down some of the singers who initially fled the battle. We can extend the invitation to them as well.” Yet again after the skybreaker herald spoke there were quiet murmurs and nods of agreement.

“It’s already late afternoon now.” Relis sighed. “I’ll order our army back to the war camp. Have the singers that wish to surrender go back to their own camp for tonight. Maybe by tomorrow everything won’t be such a storming mess.” The young man growled – though he wasn’t angry at anyone in particular just the situation.

Nale nodded and silently lashed himself away as Kalak watched from where he remained sat on the ground. If anyone could be trusted to look out for the best interests of the singers it was his brother-in-arms Nalan.

“Has anyone seen Kalak Stormblessed?”

Kalak turned sharply from where he sat to see Pralla pointing to where he was sitting. From the looks of the young woman who’d been asking for him she appeared to be a windrunner squire sent on an errand.

Slowly Kalak lifted himself back up to his feet eyeing the squire sceptically.

“Sir, Highmarshal Skar requests your presence immediately at the camp.” The woman brought her arm across her chest in a crisp salute.

Kalak raised his brows, for the first time since everything had gone down he felt.. Hopeful? Skar must have been with Kaladin and if so... They were requesting him? Was he going to get to see his great grandchild? Was he finally going to get the chance to talk to Kaladin in a private setting now that everyone had calmed down?

“Is Kaladin with him? Is he ok?” The willshaper had raised his voice a little alarmed. Others in the vicinity were turning their heads.

“No sir, we don’t know where the king has gone but... Skar requires your assistance as he is currently trapped in stone.” The squire nervously fumbled.

“Storms.” Kalak cursed as he clenched his jaw and balled his fists. He allowed the windrunner messenger to lead him back toward the camps. Slowly Relis Ruthar was dismissing companies in turn and had taken over seeing to their own army.

Kalak also realised that he was not alone on his quest as several familiar faces had trailed behind him, including the Kholin brothers. They were heading back to the camp anyway and most wanted to know what has happening.

It was not long before they came across Skar still trapped up to his waist in the solid rock of the ground. “A little help here?” The windrunner huffed in agitation upon seeing Kalak and the others approach.

“What did you do? Where is Kaladin?” Kalak asked while leaning down to lay a hand on the flat rocky ground. The light he held was pushed down into the stone as it obeyed his command creating enough space around Skar for the other man to leap with a stormlight assisted vault from the hole. Only then did Kalak allow the stone to return to its original position filling the void.

“Kal is a stonewarden now?” Adolin questioned as he moved closer to stand beside where Skar was now brushing down his blue uniform.

“As the shard of Honour he has all ten of Honour’s surges.” He remarked back flippantly, purple eyes now narrowed at Skar waiting for the windrunner to answer him.

“I’ve never seen him so scared.” Skar confessed as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “When I mentioned the baby he sort of freaked out.” He didn’t need to explain what the freaking out entailed since clearly Kaladin had used the surge of cohesion to prevent Skar from being able to follow him when he ran off.

“He did the same to me when I offered to take the baby off him.” Adolin admitted quietly as the blonde hung his head.

“Fools.” Kalak spat, finally he was able to see what these two young idiots had done wrong. Both Skar and Adolin were looking at him now with varying degrees of hurt expressions on their faces. They still didn’t see what a dire situation this was.

“He’s just lost Jasnah and almost lost the child. The last thing we should do is try to separate him from them.” Kalak announced. Even though the man was very well aware that Kaladin was clearly in no fit state to care for a newborn.

“We have to be careful...” Kalak continued. The words needed to be said despite how much he didn’t want to admit it. “He’s at risk of shattering.”

“Shattering?” Adolin quietly questioned as he spoke up.

“The last shard of Honour shattered two thousand years ago... When he killed himself.” The words of explanation came from Renarin as he placed a hand on his older brothers shoulder.

Kaladin had shared the discovery of what had happened to Kalak’s father, Tanavast, with the others. Renarin being quite the scholar knew a lot more on the subject then Adolin and Skar whom both grimaced and looked between each other.

“We need to find him.” Skar declared. “This wouldn’t be the first time he’s...” His voice trailing off not wanting to finish the sentence. It went without saying. Kalak merely frowned deeply. It was unsettling to know that Kaladin had considered taking his own life more than once in his past. He shouldn’t have been surprised though, not after learning that he’d been a bridgeman and what he went through during the occupation of Urithiru. Everyone had their limits.

“Which direction did he go?” Kalak asked sternly causing Skar to point.

“Should I send out all the windrunners to go look for him?” The highmarshal asked hesitantly.

“I will go find our missing god.”

Everyone snapped their heads up into the air a few steps behind the group where Leshwi was hovering in a myriad of voidlight. Wasting no time the ancient shanay-im rose higher before lashing herself in the direction Skar had pointed too.

The group fell into an eerie silence. All of their hopes of returning Kaladin and the baby back to the camp alive tonight were in the hands of a single fused.

- - - -

Kaladin had not lashed himself far from the camp. Perhaps he would have continued falling onward like the ever moving storms, but alas all four of his pouches of stormlight had been depleted when he swore his fifth ideal. He only had that single lungful he’d taken just before leaving Skar behind.

Stopping at the bottom of a tall rocky ridge-line he stumbled a little when his feet finally found themselves planted on the ground again. One arm still clutching the child tightly while the other reached out using the rock wall to support himself.

He had not meant to come here, wherever this was, on purpose. He just needed to get away.

’Nobody understands.’ He’d tell himself as he closed his eyes taking in a deep breath as if expecting stormlight to come with it and heal the pain.

“Kaladin this is bad. We should go back.” Syl was zipping around in a panic. “You don’t have any stormlight left and it’s going to get dark soon.”

The little honourspren turned into a ribbon of light as she shot up into the air to scout for danger. While Kaladin’s mind was completely blank and uncaring if there was danger lurking around the corner Syl was rightly concerned about enemy fused or singers that could have been hiding nearby after the chaotic battle today. Or lack of battle.

Kaladin pressed his back to the wall before sliding down onto the floor, his knees brought up where he now sat.

“No, don’t get comfy we need to start walking back!” Syl shrieked as she looked back down to see what her radiant was doing.

He was not reacting however, even when she stood directly in front of his face waving her tiny translucent hands to try to get his attention. Kaladin stared straight through her, eyes unblinking and pupils wide.

“I know which way to go, I can lead you back.” Syl whispered but just like before her radiant did not even flinch. It was as if she were invisible to him throwing back a memory to her of when she’d first been drawn to him in Amaram’s warcamp. He hadn’t noticed her back then either.

Quietly the little spren made herself comfortable on his shoulder, leaning up against his neck. She wasn’t going to leave her radiant – maybe he just needed a little time to himself.

- - - -

Leshwi was falling westward away from the camp toward a large outcrop of rocks and ridges cut into the ground. It was one of the reasons the humans had made camp in this spot as the uneven terrain to one of their flanks left them not as vulnerable to attacks on that side.

It did make spotting a lone windrunner much trickier than if it had been open plains however as she attuned to resolve. She was determined to find him, unlike the radiants her voidlight would last her an exceptionally long amount of time. She could search all night if it was required.

The child likely didn’t have all night though.

Leshwi had never been a mother and knew even less about human children. Humans were exceptionally fragile and weak creatures that couldn’t even survive a storm. Their lack of carapace and smaller lean builds left them practically defenceless. A newborn baby was even more pathetic and frail.

She had enough wits about her to know that the baby would be cold and hungry. Even if Kaladin did not directly harm the child there was still a very serious risk of a murder-suicide taking place this evening if she could not find them both in time.

Everyone had sensed it and Leshwi was no stranger to seeing the windrunner king in pain. She remembered his suffering and then the fury that followed after his windrunner companion had fallen in Urithiru to Vyre. The man fought Lezian the Pursuer as if his life no longer had meaning or consequence. She’d seen that same flash of fury in his eyes today when he’d leapt at Kalak.

He was a danger to himself.

He was a god now. Not too different from herself except Stormblssed was not just immortal now he also held much more power.

It was their chance to push Odium back. To show the singers and other fused there was another option – their original god. Tanavast may have let them down and chosen humans over them but Kaladin gave them all a second chance. He gave honour a second chance.

She had wanted to linger behind on the battlefield to assist Nale with the negotiations of the singers that wished to join her new kingdom but how could she just let Stormblessed slip between their fingers and lose him forever?

There was only one way on Roshar to kill a shard, permanently. She had to stop him.

The beat of resolve was startled as she lashed herself in place when a slither of blue light blew toward her like petals in the wind. The soft blue spren circled around the fused before taking on a more recognisable form.

Leshwi had only seen Sylphrena the ancient daughter once before (as a spren not a shardspear) but she knew immediately whom she was and that it meant the lost windrunner king was close.

“Leshwi I need help, I can’t get Kaladin to listen to me.” The little spren said in desperation.

The shanay-im resumed her resolve and that alone was enough for Syl to zip off allowing for the fused to follow.

Leshwi landed in front of Kaladin but he hadn’t moved or even acknowledged her. Whatever twisted thoughts were consuming his mind had all of his attention. Unless of course he didn’t have any and had simply shutdown instead. Either way she needed to snap him out of it. Dragging back the shard of honour forcefully didn’t seem like a wise option.

By now the sun was starting to reach the horizon, from here deep within the ridge they were cast into a deep shadow. The air was cold and while the chill in the air did nothing for herself she couldn’t say the same for the child and also Kaladin as he sat there starved of stormlight.

“Stormblessed.” Her voice was uncharacteristically soft and there was a hint of relief to her rhythm if only because the weak mewling cries from the baby meant that it was still alive – they both were. Kaladin ignored her though just like with Syl’s presence. The little honourspren had now taken a seat on Leshwi’s carapace shoulder watching with a deeply worried expression.

The only movement from the man was the subtle signs of his shivering that his body made involuntarily.

“Kaladin.” She’d never used his first name before. It felt foreign coming from her tongue. Too familiar and too inappropriate for an ancient being like herself to address a human so informally... but he wasn’t a human anymore. Not really.

It seemed to have the desired effects as he blinked slowly, his gaze finding some measure of focus on the fused stood before him.

“Kaladin, look down at your child.” She spoke with command. Slowly but surely the windrunner obeyed and for the first time it was as if he had realised he’d been clutching hold of a baby, a living being.

“They will be cold and hungry.” She proclaimed softly, but it was not to reprimand. She would not blame the windrunner for the state of things and nor would she suggest separation. Kelek’Elin had been correct on his assessment that the two should not be removed from one another. The child would be Honour’s reason to keep fighting.

The windrunner was panicking again now trying to think of ways to warm the baby as he struggled up to his feet, still heavily leaning up against the cliff wall behind him. With one hand Leshwi placed it down on his far shoulder, the other reached to grab his cloak. It was one of the few parts of his uniform that wasn’t coated in blood and had remained out of the way and otherwise clean.

With a firm yank the fabric had come undone from its clasps. They had been designed to do such a thing in case someone tried to use it to grab hold of him in battle. Leshwi held out her arms now holding the cloak as Kaladin stared at it nervously.

She could see the dilemma behind his eyes as he considered letting go of his newborn child for even a few seconds. Could he trust Leshwi? Frozen in place for so long Leshwi had been about to say something when at last he moved carefully placing down the baby into the cloak she held out. Leshwi wasted no time wrapping the fabric around the child and then quickly making sure they were returned to Kaladin’s arms to hold.

The relief washed over him like the riddens of a storm, the tension washed away with it. Carefully with the rhythm of command continuing she gently pushed Kaladin with a steadying hand to walk him back to the nearby camp.

Chapter 2: Loyalty Test

Various colours splashed across the sky as the last light of the day began to fade. Kaladin was in no state to see how beautiful the world around him was when he was experiencing the worst day of his life.

No matter how much he thought about it even that day he had been held down and watched on as his squad were killed before his eyes while the hot branding iron had met his skin... it didn’t compare.

His eyes had closed thinking to the endless nightmares, the suffering, exhaustion and pain he felt when Teft had died and his family were held captive.

To that day on the battlefield many years ago when sixteen year old Kaladin had taken a spear to the leg and then witnessed Tien being cut down just yards away.

It didn’t compare.

All the memories hurt but this was something cruel and new. It was like an amalgamation of all of the worst moments of his life wrapped up into one traumatic package.

Losing Jasnah was a knife to the heart, he loved her so much and it had been years since he’d let anyone get that close to him. Even when he’d been courting Lyn he had never felt comfortable opening up to her (which had been the majority of their problems). With Jasnah there had been no secrets... well so he thought. Apparently that picture perfect relationship might have been an illusion.

Jasnah hadn’t been a lightweaver but she’d done a fantastic job of making him feel as though they had no secrets between them. He’d told her his darkest fears – the nightmares where he’d been worried about breaking his vows and the second where he was dying. Yet why hadn’t she told him about Kalak or the curse? Or what she’d found out about Syl?

Storms it had been Kaladin that had gone to her with his concerns about Kalak hiding things and off she’d gone and done her investigations and hadn’t included him.

No it was even worse than that – she'd tried to kill him.

Every time Kaladin remembered his body would shudder. Losing Jasnah had the same pain of losing Tien or Teft all over again but her betrayal and that of Kalak’s was like Amaram's and reliving his descent to slavery.

He didn’t know whether or not to be sad or angry. He also still didn’t know what was really happening to him. Becoming Honour was rather vague and he could feel the pull of all ten surges now. Feeling them present and having any clue on how to wield that power were two entirely different things however.

He didn’t know the first thing about the majority of the surges and the only reason he knew how to stoneward or heal with restoration had been because he’d seen both those powers used up close before. Mostly he’d used them both on instinct in a panic without thought. He was damn lucky he hadn’t crushed Skar with his stunt – he had no control.

Kaladin walked back into camp, head hung low and dragging his heavy boots as they scuffed against the rocky floor. In his arms he held his daughter tighter, she was warmer now wrapped up snugly in his navy stormblessed cloak but the newborn had been very quiet on the short walk back and was probably very hungry at this point.

Leshwi was walking close at his side in step with him. Shanay-im didn’t walk often but she’d made some kind of exception on this occasion. Soldiers that were milling around the camp had stopped to stare as they walked slowly past but nobody dared get anywhere close. Several even scattered out of the way as Leshwi held out her aluminium alloyed lance out in front of her. Her fierce red eyes glaring threateningly at anyone who looked a little too long or stood in their way.

He didn’t stop moving until he’d pushed past the flaps of his tent disappearing inside. Behind his curtain of mattered and bloodied hair he had not even noticed they had walked past a few of his friends in bridgefour. Leshwi hadn’t immediately followed him inside and he could hear her as she addressed Skar, Lopen and Rlain outside.

“He will require necessities for the child and water for cleaning.” Her tone was clipped to the rhythm of command. “Nobody is to go inside this tent.”

“Rlain, Lopen. Stand watch. I’ll go see what I can do about the rest...” Skar sighed.

He could hear a shuffle of footsteps before the tent flaps opened and Leshwi finally joined him inside.

Kaladin was actually rather relieved it was just the two of them right now. As much as he loved his friends he felt ashamed and embarrassed about how he had reacted. He knew they probably deserved an apology. Storms he’d physically hurt Adolin and trapped Skar and neither deserved being treated like that. Then he had probably worried them all to no end by running off like that.

He was such a fool. He’d almost killed his daughter by not thinking.

Then there was the fear in the pit of his stomach that he was going to fail. The baby girl in his arms was so small and weak. Why should he let anyone see her and bond when chances were he was going to fail. He’d already robbed them of Jasnah’s life...

Kaladin was trembling again as the words of Navani ran through the forefront of his mind.

He was a monster.

It was all his fault.

“Sit.” Leshwi nudged him toward the chair and he followed her orders without hesitation.

It was not just Navani that was going to hate him now – he thought to himself. Dalinar too. He must share the same opinion as his wife. Then there was Adolin and Renarin and by extension of them that also meant Shallan and Rlain.

Kalak had betrayed him too, the other heralds would take his side.

He was alone now. He’d gone and stormed everything up.

There was also something else in the back of his mind, something he was also trying hard to block out. Every time he closed his eyes he could feel a presence like a calming balance but it hung over him like a dark and deadly shadow. A reflection of a power held within a Spiritual Realm.

Kaladin swallowed the lump in his throat as he risked levelling his light blue gaze up to meet Leshwi. She had warned him about this... what his immorality would feel like. The reflection was cloudy like ripples in a puddle of water after dropping a stone. All he could see was a darkness and two piercing ice blue eyes staring straight back at him. It frightened him, filled him with dread.

His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a basin of warm water which Leshwi received at the entrance of his tent. Carefully Kaladin laid the child down still wrapped in the cloak on the tabletop over the map that he had left out from the night before.

With shaky hands he was able to unwrap the babe and making sure the damp cloth was not too hot or cold begun the task of cleaning the newborn. Now that he set his mind to a task he found it a little easier to function. Leshwi stood close silently observing with the quietest of rhythms of hope. Not that Kaladin knew what it was she had attuned to. All he knew was that as the only sound in otherwise silence in brought him some measure of internal peace.

Once the child was clean he wrapped her up once again in the cloak. No sooner had he finished Leshwi had stepped closer. “You are next Stormblessed.” She commanded.

He found himself looking up once again meeting her eyes but he’d already relented. Leshwi was not someone you could argue with. He couldn’t intimidate her or order her around like anyone else in his life.

Slowly she reached out capturing his arm in her hands before untying the buckles of his wrist guards. Shoulder pads came next before he was finally able to shrug himself out of his bloodied jacket. Kaladin found himself zoning out again as he fell back into the chair while Leshwi leaned down to untie his boots and pull them off dropping them to the floor.

His shirt had come next, loosening it before pulling it gently over his head. There was something about being stripped down on what was his darkest day that had thrown his mind straight back into slavery. He could remember the hands of strangers pulling off his Sadeas princedom uniform, the greens and red discarded as they prepared him to be sold on the slavers market.

Leshwi had noticed he had tensed up and become unresponsive but had little choice but to continue on regardless. She couldn’t exactly leave him covered in blood and did not trust anyone else in the camp not to say something and cause her god to shatter.

When he was stripped down to just his small clothes the fused reached for the cloth starting with his face as she wiped away the stains of blood and all traces of what had happened today best she could. It was not a perfect job, she had not exactly ever done this before, work that if it had been anyone other then Kaladin would have been considered beneath her. A rushed quick clean was going to be sufficient for now.

Syl had been oddly quiet the whole time. While Leshwi was tending to her radiant she was focused entirely on the baby swaddled in the cloak on the table. It was the first time Syl had really gotten the chance to look at the baby properly as she stood next to the child peering over as she clutched her hands to her chest. Eyes wide and a beautiful smile over her face.

Kaladin didn’t know how his spren could be so happy. Hadn’t she just lost Ivory? Was she not upset about anything that had just happened?

He envied her. He wished he could show happiness when he looked down at the baby... truth was he hadn’t really looked at her yet. He didn't want a reason to be happy.

Leshwi had moved away for a few moments into the back room where his bed was and Kal furrowed his brows with worry until she returned seconds later with a large blanket – draping it over the man’s shoulders.

“Lady Leshwi.” Skar was calling from outside of the tent as the fused hummed appreciation and left to meet him.

Kaladin pulled the blanket tighter around himself. At least the tent was warm, a brazier stood next to the table with a large heating fabrial inside. The windrunners gaze once again flitted back to the baby as he found himself quickly reaching out to pull her back onto his lap. He felt empty without holding her. Like a piece of him was missing otherwise.

As Leshwi returned she placed down a basket and a box onto the table. The basket was woven with dried thick tallew stalks but seemed study enough. More importantly it looked the perfect size and shape for a baby to sleep in. The base of the basket had been filled with soft, clean blankets.

The box she had placed down next to it was filled with items he was probably going to need. Immediately he reached for a spare small blanket as he tossed his thick cloak aside and re-wrapped the baby.

For the first time he found himself looking down at his daughter as she stared straight back up at him, wide awake and bright-eyed. Lighteyes. The same gorgeous amethyst irises that Jasnah had.

The reminder of his lost wife sent him into another spiral.

He was fortunate that Leshwi was still there at his side passing him a bottle by forcefully pressing it into his hand. The distraction was needed as he rolled the bottle over in the palm of his hand staring at the liquid inside. He’d read enough medical texts prior to know that chull milk could be used a substitute if a mother was unable to breastfeed. Surgeons only recommended it in emergency situations as it was nowhere near as good for the child as the real thing. Kaladin swallowed as he realised this was probably one of those extreme circumstances.

What followed was Kaladin staying up long into the night as he and the baby struggled through the feedings. At first she was not accepting the bottle at all but determined Kaladin never gave up as the cloud of exhaustionspren grew larger and larger underneath the chair.

By the time the first rays of light were creeping above the horizon the little princess was sleeping soundly in her basket and Kaladin had passed out in the chair, the upper half of his body sprawled over the table still wrapped in the blanket.

Leshwi stood vigilance over the father and daughter near the entrance of the tent the entire time.

- - - -

Skar was up early the following morning, he had a solid six hours to get some rest but sleep had never come. How was he expected too after a day like yesterday? All night he’d been worried about Kaladin and the baby. What did this mean for Alethkar and the coalition? What were they supposed to do next? How could he help Kaladin?

What was clear was that he was now in command of the windrunners and the highmarshal had given them all new orders. Protect the Stormblessed camp. Those that were in bridgefour were trusted enough to guard Kaladin’s tent keeping everyone away from it so he wasn’t disturbed.

Leshwi had told him that nobody was to go inside and while hurt at first because that also meant him, he realised this was not about him. It was the right call to make.

Reaching the tent he met up with Rlain, Renarin, Peet and Leyten as the four that had been guarding overnight were dismissed to get some much needed sleep. Skar was used to long days of being on duty but being a bodyguard again, as a highmarshal? He frowned remembering the last time he stood guard like this recalling his brief stint at Marat whilst trying to cover for Kaladin.

Back then he hadn’t needed guarding. Now he did.

He had not felt like a real bodyguard since he was part of the cobalt guard in the warcamps following around the Kholin family.

At least he could be glad that guard duty so far had been uneventful. The only thing the bridgefour members before him could report was that Leshwi had left just before the changing of the guard this morning.

It was too much to expect her to continue to stay at Kal’s side when she was desperately needed elsewhere. The other two fused that had come to Rira with her had grown irritable without their commander. Then there was the whole large scale transfer of singers that needed to take place from Rira all the way to Narak. Leshwi was their leader now, she needed to be there for them.

Skar sighed deeply as he stood beside Rlain and Renarin. Maybe just like the night they would have an easy and uneventful guard shift.

Just at that moment the windrunner glanced up spotting Navani walking in a hurry toward them and under his breath he cursed Ishi for his lack of luck. Maybe he was cursed with old magic – this always seemed to happen to him.

Navani moved quickly with purpose toward the tent and the windrunner bodyguards that blocked the path. Behind her two men followed, both lighteyes with sideswords and wearing the uniform and patches of the cobalt guard. They were two fairly high ranked officers of the Kholin princedom that Skar immediately recognised having once upon a time worked alongside them.

“The King isn’t taking any visitors at this time.” Skar straightened his back, squaring his shoulders. He was not the tallest of men but he was not about to let a queen intimidate him.

“I’m not here to see Kaladin.” Navani’s voice was cold, her gaze flitting past Skar and locking onto the tent a short distance away. “I’m here for my grandchild.”

He was not completely heartless, he did feel bad for Navani in some ways. She had lost her daughter and had not even had the chance to even look upon her grandchild yet. Nobody had with perhaps the exception of Leshwi and even then Skar wasn’t sure how involved the fused had been.

“I’m sorry your majesty, nobody is permitted to see either of them for now.” Skar declared as he held firm. To his side Renarin and Rlain stood still and also both firmly on guard ready to bare her entry.

“I’m not here to see them I’m here for custody of the child.” Navani revealed.

Her announcement had taken all three of the bridgemen by surprise – she couldn’t be serious?!

Of course she absolutely was. It was no secret that Kaladin was an unstable mess. He’d openly attacked Kalak, Adolin and even himself and then run off. For those that had not seen what had happened directly – word had gotten around the warcamp. By now the events that unfolded were common knowledge and gossip.

“Stand aside highmarshal.” She broke the silence with her order but this only caused Skar to narrow his eyes and ball his fists down at his sides.

“They stay together.” He snapped back, his temper beginning to fray. “Nobody is going near that tent, not even you.”

“I am the queen of Urithiru and that is my grandchild in there.” The woman's voice raised, angry and distraught. She was testing every little bit of Skar’s patience and loyalty.

“I don’t care who you are, you can’t come past. The baby is better off with its father.” Skar spoke through a clenched jaw. He didn’t even care if he was being openly disrespectful anymore.

“How do you know that?” She pointed out sceptically. “Have you seen the baby? Do you even know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

Skar’s mouth opened as he stammered for a reply struggling to think of what to say. He had no clue what gender the baby was, what they looked like, what colour their eyes were or even if they were healthy. Navani knew immediately from the look on his face that her assessment of the situation had been correct.

“My grandchild needs to be saved from that monster as soon as possible.” The woman announced.

Her declaration had gotten under Skar’s skin, how dare she call his best friend a monster. Not now. Not after everything he had done for her family. How many times had he saved Navani and her kin? This was not his fault!

“He’s already killed both my children I won’t have him take a grandchild from me too.” Navani moved forward, arms outstretched trying to push her way past Skar.

“I was there when King Elhokar died, Kal did everything he could to save him! We all did!” Skar was furious as he yelled back grabbing at her free-arm tightly as he physically held her back.

“He’s as bad as Vyre, he needs to be put down!” Navani screamed as she pushed forward with her entire body knocking Skar back a couple of steps.

Something in the highmarshal just snapped as the woman he was grappling with shoved him. It wasn’t so much her physical presence but her words were sharp like a stab with a knife.

Skar lifted up his other arm backhanding her across the face.

He didn’t need to hold her free-arm anymore as she retreated quickly in stunned silence, a hand held to her cheek as the bondsmith begun to glow softly. Angerspren had been drawn around the both of them but now had been joined by a couple of painspren too.

“Arrest him!” The queen snapped to not just the guards present but her bright purple eyes had found Renarin. The poor young man bit at his lip and to his credit didn’t move a muscle.

The two cobalt guards that had escorted Navani did at least drawn their swords but were looking between each other confused.

Skar was regretting striking her but not for standing his ground as he crossed his arms in front of him.

“I said arrest him, he just assaulted your queen.” Navani venomously snapped again and awkwardly the two cobalt guards shuffled a couple of steps closer but then stopped. Clearly this was an order they were not at all comfortable with and more than that – they were questioning the chain of command.

Skar was a highmarshal of the Stormblessed princedom and they were part of the Kholin princedom. Both soldiers of Alethkar regardless. Navani was not the queen of Alethkar.

“Hey, what’s happening here?!” Adolin’s voice boomed out as the young man reached them breathless. The highprince immediately saw his officers with their swords drawn and narrowed his eyes angrily. “Stand down.” He growled.

Both men of the cobalt guard were happy to oblige and even seemed revealed that Adolin had raced over putting a stop to this fiasco. Skar could imagine that two none radiants trying to arrest the windrunner highmarshal was only going to end very badly – for them.

Adolin Kholin had not been walking here alone. After seeing the brief fight he had sprinted off ahead but Dalinar’s quickened pace meant he was not too far behind as he finally caught up. Navani quickly turned to her husband.

“I was attacked by the highmarshal. I want him arrested at once.”

Adolin was openly frowning and Dalinar simply appeared defeated and exhausted as Skar felt. Somehow, he expected they got as much sleep as he did last night.

While openly opposing and standing up to Navani was one thing, he was really frightened about having to do it with Dalinar and Adolin. He had to remind himself that Kaladin was his king and this was his child. There was no greater authority than that.

He was never going to stand aside.

Bright red streamers of anticipationspren climbed into the air around them as he spoke. “I will not allow the child to be separated from Kaladin.” He repeated firmly and sternly.

“He’s in no fit state to be a father.” Navani quickly spat back but was stopped from saying more as Dalinar raised an arm out in front of her.

“That’s not for you to decide.” Skar replied, trying to keep his voice calm and measured. He couldn’t afford to snap again, not with Dalinar and Adolin here now to witness it.

“We can’t separate them...” Adolin’s quiet voice interjected. The Kholin highprince had been there last night when they had discussed Kaladin’s current fragile mental state. He knew what was at stake.

“Not you too Adolin. After what he did to you yesterday?” Navani was shocked and bitter as she watched as Adolin turned to take up a guard position beside his younger brother. “Have both my nephews turned against the family?” She was in disbelief.

“Nobody has turned against the family. I won’t stand here and let you take a baby from its only parent. You can’t have them.” Adolin argued back, sadden blue eyes searching Dalinar’s expression and was relieved to see his father merely give his sons a small barely noticeable nod in agreement.

“Come gemheart, I’m going to make preparations to have you return to the tower at once. We are done here.” Dalinar persuaded as he tried to gently loop his arm around her freearm to help lead her away. Navani was glaring daggers directly at Skar, in his gut he could feel that he hadn’t heard the end of this.

He waited until both the Urithiru rulers and the cobalt guards were long gone before turning with a breathy sigh toward the others. “I’m sorry you had to see that...”

“You did what you had to... to protect Kaladin.” Renarin answered with a hung head. Adolin hadn’t cared much about what Navani had said but the younger of the Kholin lads certainly had his feelings hurt by being referred to as some kind of traitor to the family.

“Yeah.” Adolin spoke up in agreement, placing a hand down on his brothers shoulder in comfort. “I’m sorry for what my aunt tried to pull, I had no idea she was going to try to take the baby otherwise I would have stopped her sooner.”

Skar and Rlain both nodded simply, they knew Adolin spoke with truth and had no part in her plot.

“I’ll stand guard with you guys until lunch... just in case she tries to sneak her way back with more guards or something.” Adolin sighed.

Skar gave a small grunt in thanks, a noise that caused Adolin to smirk immediately. Probably reminded suddenly by the very man they all stood there trying to protect.

- - - -

As much as Dalinar considered it he simply couldn’t agree with his wife when it came to the custody of Jasnah and Kaladin’s child. She had made several good points when they had talked about it after heading back to their own section of the camp.

They were experienced parents whom were in a good position to look after children. Neither of them were too old, they had little Gavinor already whom was Navani’s first grandchild. They also lived in a palace where the baby would want for nothing with countless maids and staff.

Then there was the argument that Kaladin was not capable of the role, unfit to be a father due to how he’d acted after Jasnah’s death. Dalinar was deeply concerned by what he saw but he also couldn’t judge the young man in a brief flash of grief.

Of course the final argument for taking the child had been the most disturbing of all. That Jasnah’s death had been Kaladin’s fault.

Dalinar had been up all night trying to dig for the answers. He’d questioned as many people as he could – including some of the heralds whom seemed to have the most knowledge. Kalak in particular had been in the heart of it all.

The honourshard was cursed with old magic. Kaladin technically had killed Jasnah, but Dalinar had quickly thrown that assessment out the window when he was told by absolutely everyone involved – he didn’t know. Truthfully if Kaladin had known he never would have accepted the power and they would now be without the shard of honour on their side.

He fought hard to cast his personal feelings aside, he loved Jasnah like a daughter. But what had happened yesterday was an overall victory for the coalition.

His wife would never see it that way. At least not now heavy with the weight of grief and maybe not ever. All he knew is that he needed to get her home, back to the tower as soon as possible.

The bondsmith would have usually gone to see a windrunner and tasked a small squad of them to escort a group of people to the Azimir oathgate but Dalinar had soon realised the entire order of windrunners had gone rogue in the aftermath.

Their highmarshal, Skar, had recalled every single windrunner from their order putting them on guard around the warcamps. None of them were to leave. Guarding Kaladin and the baby being the top priority. That left only one option for getting home in a hurry.

Approaching where the skybreakers were based in the camp the Urithiru king frowned upon seeing Kalak stood by with a pack slung over his shoulder.

“You’re leaving?” Dalinar asked not hiding the surprise in his voice.

“It’s for the best I’m out of the way.” The willshaper mumbled.

“Best for who?” Dalinar eyed him suspiciously.

“For Kaladin.”

Dalinar was not entirely convinced. Kalak seemed to have all the answers and had been so close to Kaladin before all this happened. He hadn’t been blind, he saw what happened and knew Kaladin had attacked Kalak. There was obviously more to the story and this was the only reason why Dalinar felt so suspicious of Kalak’s motivations. If he was leaving he wouldn’t try to get involved or convince him to stay.

“You are returning to Urithiru?” The Kholin asked, just to make light conversation.

“Yes, but I won’t be staying. Just long enough to collect my things before Kaladin returns.”

“You aren’t going back to Lasting Integrity are you?” Dalinar said aghast.

“No... I was thinking of asking King Hekeran if I could stay at Vedenar for a while.” The willshaper pondered. “I still want to help the coalition with this war... but I think it’s best I give Kaladin space until he is ready.”

Ready for what exactly Dalinar was unsure but nodded softly in agreement all the same. Reaching out he shook Kalak’s hand in a formal farewell before continuing on to find a skybreaker highly ranked enough to assist him with taking his wife home.

Notes:

Please for the love of the almighty don't ask me how to milk a chull!

Leshwi is the new MVP.

Also writing Navani is very sad :(

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Sons of Tanavast